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gerdi-ringbell · 10 months

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What is Sleep Token's trilogy of albums about?

This is my own take on the story behind the album trilogy. First of all, special thanks to Daria Urbanovich for translating this article into English.

Author’s note

Above all, I would like to state a few crucial aspects:

Everything that is written in this essay is solely my perception, the author's reflection and understanding of it. I do not claim to be aware of the truth.

I shall focus entirely on the characters and images, without in any way involving the personalities of the people who stand behind the project. I perceive the whole story as fiction, and I do not mean to speculate on the relation to the actual life of any of the members of the group. Vessel is the narrator here, the lead character in the songs, and the stage persona, not the person under the mask.

This essay would not have existed without a few pieces of material written by others, which I referenced in one way or another. Namely: a breakdown of "Aqua Regia" from the Genius website, as well as song translations and album decodings from the Sleep Token Russian community that deal with aspects that I shall touch upon in no detail.

Preface

Like many other people who are interested not only in the music, but also in the lore of Sleep Token, from the very beginning I have been trying to understand the story behind the fine words.

I read other people's articles and analyses, dug through the lyrics and created my own theories, but the picture just would not come together. Still I had the feeling that something was missing. This was very much the case with the debut album ‘Sundowning’. However, when ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ was finally released, everything fell into place. The last piece of the puzzle had been found.

While reading the breakdown of ‘Aqua Regia’ and ‘Rain’, I figured out what exactly was the missing piece. It is commonly believed that all of Sleep Token's songs are about Sleep (presumably the goddess). However, I shall say that they are about three (or rather, most of the time about two) different women. For my own convenience, I shall call them Sleep, Eden and Rain (I will explain why these names were chosen later on). I shall make it clear at once that Sleep is here precisely as a woman, a character in the story, not as the goddess the band allegedly worships.

With a sudden awareness, the picture rapidly became clearer. It is worth taking a step back and point out that the narrative of the albums is not entirely chronologically accurate. It is designed in such a way that the whole story can be fully understood only when all three albums can be juxtaposed together. Thus, this is what explains the seeming disorder. Now, let us cut to the chase.

The way I see the story

It all begins with Eden. She is Vessel's first (at least in the context of this story) lover. The relationship with her is perfect and harmonious, like heaven (hence ‘Eden’). She is the one whom Vessel sees as the lifelong sweetheart. But, alas, there is a break in this dream-like story, allegedly Alzheimer's disease (as ‘The Night Does Not Belong to God’ tells us, alluding to the ‘sundown syndrome’ that can be observed in someone with the disease). ‘The Night Does Not Belong to God’ is the first one on the album, and it begins the theme of memory loss that runs through the other songs dedicated to Eden.

“And you remember everything Only 'til the sun recedes once again”

And with it begins the theme of a premonition of death.

“I know for the last time You will not be mine So give me the night, the night, the night”

It all drifts into ‘Levitate’, filled with despair at the awareness of imminent loss.

“Will you levitate Up where the angels inhabit? Will you levitate Where I won't reach you?”

Here also starts a significant imagery line that runs (to a greater or lesser extent) through all three albums love and relationship are compared to water.

“Like water, a perfect flood Engulfing me again, oh”

Once again, this all ties in with a line of loss of memories – paradise crumbles as Eden loses more and more of herself to her illness. It becomes increasingly difficult to live as before.

“And we imitate A story of perfect days A ballad we fabricate As you forget your words again, oh”

And.

“And I can tell you won't Remember my cracking bones The trauma we can't regrow Just as you leave again, no”

By “leave again” may be meant another loss of memories. Each time the oblivion becomes longer, the memories are fewer and fewer, and the point of no return is closer.

The theme of loss reaches its climax in ‘Drag Me Under’. For Vessel, it is a kind of farewell. The moment when even the angels find no words and when the gods leave heaven is the moment of utmost despair and silent grief.

“And I know The angels tonight are As lost for words As I am”

Moreover, one can observe here another feature characteristic of the tracks dedicated to Eden, a different form of divine theme. Gods and angels seem as faraway supreme beings, and the lyrics themselves are more ‘down-to-earth’.

“And I know The Gods will Abandon the heavens just to find us”

In the lyrics connected with Sleep (that is, in most of them) one gets the impression of the presence of some supreme being, which Vessel seems to try to reach, it is her image that is most ‘deified’ (hence the choice of name), despite the fact that Eden is juxtaposed with paradise. An excellent example is, for instance, ‘High Water’:

“And I choke myself on sacred vapour Waiting on some holy favour”

However, we shall talk about Sleep a little later.

The tipping point for Vessel is ‘Atlantic’. Unable to cope with the loss of his beloved, and probably partly blaming himself for her death, he attempts suicide, but survives.

“I woke up surrounded, eyes like frozen planets Just orbiting the vacuum I am They talk me through the damage, consequence And how it's a pain they know they don't understand Sobbing as they turn to statues at the bedside I'm trying not to crush into sand So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing Wash away the blood on my hands”

It is the beginning of his vicious cycle of suffering, from which he shall not be able to break for a long time. In a sense, ‘Atlantic’ is the starting point of the story, the beginning of a journey deep into Vessel’s mind, his hang-ups and traumas, his self-reflection, expressed in the music and lyrics on all the albums. This is where his darkness begins.

And it is right here where a new phase begins. Although Eden is dead, for Vessel himself life goes on. As time passes, he begins a new relationship with the one to whom most of the tracks are dedicated, Sleep. And their romance is revealed with a genuinely dark side. The tracks dedicated to her flit between two edges – a morbid obsession (like ‘The Offering’, ‘Take Aim’, ‘Hypnosis’, ‘Mine’) and cruelty and toxicity (like ‘Dark Signs’, ‘Higher’, ‘Like That’, ‘Granite’).

In some ways, Vessel is trapped in this relationship. Sleep does not like him, which she does not even particularly hide, but continues to take advantage of him when she needs to. There are plenty of hints, for example, in ‘Say That You Will’.

“And you've got me up in a frenzy again And I know you're planning to leave in the end”

In ‘Higher’.

“Cause you can remember only when you're alone I am granting you more than the debt that I owe”

And in ‘Like That’.

“I stumble into your tar trap An addition to your collection”

And an interesting moment in ‘When the Bough Breaks’.

“You don't really love, you just hate to be alone”

Both the EPs ‘One’ and ‘Two’ are also tied to the story, as we can see with ‘Take Me Back to Eden’, but more on that later.

Perhaps the most vivid examples in this regard are ‘Fall For Me’ and ‘The Love You Want’, both of which speak entirely of Vessel's one-sided love, but the second song is quite interesting lyrically.

“You lie an inch apart on your own continuum Now keep the freak show talk to a careful minimum I'll find a different harbor to lay my anchor in And you'll find a different way to keep from setting sail again, no”

Just as in ‘Jericho’, the theme of physical but not emotional intimacy is touched on here. To put it crudely, in this relationship Vessel occasionally acts as somebody to spend the night with, which Sleep turns to when there is no one else to go to (here again one might think of ‘Higher’). The relationship theme develops through aquatic metaphors (here as ‘harbor’ and ‘sailing’).

“Seems your heart is locked up and I still get the combination wrong Or are you simply waiting to save your love for someone I am not? Too many swallowed keys will make you bleed internally someday”

Vessel is well aware of the futility of his attempts at making himself solid with Sleep, but he is unable to stop – he is addicted. Vessel is obsessed with this relationship. To be more precise, he is obsessed with the idea of what they can be. Here we look into ‘Telomeres’.

Later on we shall analyse this track in more detail, but for now let us think again about the comparison of relationship to water.

“Rivers and oceans We could beckon, no Your eyes and your limbs Are instruments to pick apart The distance within”

Eden was the perfect match for Vessel, the kind of soul mate that many of people can only dream. Their relationship became for him the eminent example, the etalon of what he strives for. It is through the lens of their love with Eden that he perceives all his subsequent relationships. Roughly said, he is not looking for a new partner with whom he can build a future, but someone who can replace his missing love.

Trapped in an addictive bond with Sleep, Vessel desperately tries to make this relationship ideal, even as he realises how unrealistic his desire is. He is split between aggression when Sleep does not meet his expectations once they are together and obsessive despair when they are apart again. That is the picture of their mutually toxic relationship.

As I mentioned, most of the tracks on the first two albums reveal this very issue, but ‘Blood Sport’ is particularly interesting to me in this context.

Overall, the song is a remorse and a plea for another chance, another attempt. Despite the harshness of their relationship, Vessel begs for forgiveness. Nevertheless, I want to draw special attention to these lines.

“And out there Stuck in a quantum pattern Tangled with what I never said You say it doesn't matter”

Frankly, it seems to me like a gaslighting to which Vessel was subjected by Sleep. It also ties in with his mental condition, which is better revealed already on the album ‘Take Me Back to Eden’. Thus, in general, we have understood the first two albums. Let us move on to the third one.

Unlike the first two, ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ is much more (though also not completely) linear in its story (although in general terms ‘Sundowning’ can be perceived as a slow prologue and ‘This Place Will Become Your Tomb’ as the main part) and is the final chapter. I shall not examine in detail the songs ‘Chokehold’, ‘The Summoning’ and ‘Vore’, as they simply continue to look at the general theme of the relationship with Sleep from different angles.

The turning point is ‘Granite’. It is a moment of realisation about the nature of their relationship, with all their mutual grievances, recriminations and manipulations. It is as if Vessel is reading the room for the first time.

“When you'd sit there acting likе you know me Acting like you only brought me here to get below me Never mind the death threats, parting at the door We'd rather be six feet under than be lonely And if you had a problem, then you should have told me 'Fore you started getting all aggressive and controlling”

Vessel, for the first time, truly decides to overcome his addiction and break free from the vicious cycle in which nothing good awaits him. His relationship with Sleep is doomed, they could never be happy together, but he realises this only now.

“Between the second-hand smoke and the glass on the street You gave me nothing whatsoever but a reason to leave You say you want me, but you know I'm not what you need But I am”

Speaking briefly about ‘Aqua Regia’, the song metaphorically refers to dating apps and the short-lived romances. From the perspective of the story, it can be seen that Vessel has indeed broken off his relationship with Sleep, but still feels the necessity to be loved, which causes him to fall into a cycle of such affairs. However, one important detail for understanding some of the things that follow.

“Gold rush, acid flux Saturate me, I can't get enough”

The desperate chase for a relationship that never leads to satisfaction. In these temporary acquaintances, he does not find the one who becomes his lover.

Move on to ‘Ascensionism’. In its structure, it creates a kind of picture of struggle, of withdrawal from previous painful relationship. The song begins with longing and regret.

“Well, I know what you want from me You want someone to be Your reflection, your bitter deception Setting you free So you take what you want and leave”

It is the pain of having to break up with Sleep. Vessel realises the necessity of it, but cannot cope with the longing, like a man with an addiction trying to cure himself. But suddenly the melody becomes cheerful and energetic, and musings about their romance are mixed with impressions of the new fast-paced affairs he throws himself into, only to overcome these feelings. The song flow from one line to the next rapidly, like a chaotic stream, underscoring attempts to drown out one thought with another.

“Who made you like this? Who encrypted your dark gospel in body language? Synapses snap back in blissful anguish Tell me you met me in past lives, past life Past what might be eating me from the inside, darling Half algorithm, half deity Glitches in the code or gaps in a strange dream”

Then a sudden breakdown – rage, pain, resentment – as one of the experience stages.

“You're gonna watch me ascend”

The storm dies down, replaced again by humility, almost acceptance. But this time Vessel is more focused on himself and his own feelings.

“And I know what you want from me You want the same as me My redemption, eternal ascension Setting me free So I'll take what I want then leave”

And then, the final breakdown.

“You make me wish I could disappear, no You make me wish I could disappear”

The whole ‘Ascensionism’ is just a picture of the emotional rollercoaster that Vessel goes through, having to cope with the break-up alone. Although their relationship with Sleep was toxic, he was addicted, which makes the break-up so traumatic. However, this time he does not attempt to return, he moves on.

Here I shall take a slight step back from Vessel's relationship with Sleep and come back to Eden, because herein lies a little internal trilogy from ‘Telomeres’, ‘Are You Really Okay?’ and ‘The Apparition’, revealing the effects of their relationship on Vessel himself. In all honesty, this is probably my favourite part of the jigsaw puzzle.

Return to ‘Telomeres’ for a second, especially to these lines.

“Let the tides carry you back to me The past, the future Through death My arms are open”

Even though Eden is dead, Vessel still loves her. He misses her and longs to be reunited, so that even death will not be an obstacle for them. But you have to be careful what you wish for, because it can come true.

This is where we come to ‘Are You Really Okay?’, which draws us a picture of Vessel's dream, which begins with a beautiful image of his beloved in the dawn sun, but soon it all turns into a nightmare.

“You woke me up one night Dripping crimson on the carpet I saw it in your eyes Cutting deeper than the scars could run”

Memories of Eden's self-harm and suicidal tendencies haunt Vessel at nights. The illness probably aggravated her already difficult emotional state (as the single ‘The Way That You Were’ also hints at). I mentioned at the very beginning, when analysing ‘Atlantic’, that Vessel might have blamed himself for her death.

“So flood me like Atlantic, weather me to nothing Wash away the blood on my hands”

Knowing Eden's tendency to self-harm and her suicidal thoughts, one day he might simply not have saved her in time, making him feel responsible for what happened because he did not see the red flags in time or take enough action (from his point of view) to stop her.

“And I I cannot fix your wounds this time”

‘The Apparition’ is a moment of awakening from a nightmare. As Vessel wished, his beloved returns to him, albeit only at night, even if only in nightmares.

“Why are you never real? Whenever you appear You leave me with that grace I am trembling with fear But I know that you will disappear Just as I awake”

No matter how much time has passed, he cannot recover from this loss.

“No matter what I do This scar will never fade”

Although these dreams are a kind of torture for him, Vessel is pleased with them because he briefly reunites with Eden, seeing her end up committing suicide.

“I make the most of the turning tide It just split what's left of the burning silence Don't wait, 'cause this could be the last time You turn up in the reveries of my mind I wake up to a suicide frenzy Loaded dreams still leave me empty”

“I make the most of the turning tide” ties in directly with ‘Telomeres’ – “Let the tides carry you back to me”. Just as Vessel wanted, the waters brought his beloved back to him, even if not in the way one might have wished. However, the awakenings are painful for him, because they remind him that in reality, Eden has long been dead. It is an endless cycle of nightmare dreams and an equally nightmarish reality. Vessel is caught between the desire to be free and the unwillingness to let go.

“Just let me go or take me with you”

‘DYWTYLM’ is a ballad about Vessel's self-reflection, his attempts to figure out his own feelings. Many of the songs on the album show his complicated relationship with himself, but this one makes the issue a centerpiece. The pain of loss, guilt and a long toxic relationship broke him down.

“Do you pull at the chains? Or do you push into constant aching? Each and every day Do you wish that you loved me?”

I do like the theory that the whole track is he, talking to his own reflection in the mirror.

“Is there something you give That you will never receive in return? Do you know what it is? Do you wish that you loved me?”

In many ways, it echoes his reflections on unrequited love, particularly ‘The Love You Want’. These two songs have both many slight opposites and are very similar thematically – love for oneself or for another, the desire to love or to be loved.

“And my reflection just won't smile back at me likе I know it should And I would turn into a stranger in an instant if I could And there is somеthing eating me alive, I don’t know what it is Maybe not that you conceal your feelings, they just don't exist”

The whole track portrays a picture of Vessel's dark and traumatised inner world. In a way, here he is looking back at his past and trying to figure out who he has become. ‘DYWTYLM’ is on this place on the album for a reason, because the next song is ‘Rain’.

‘Rain’ is, in a sense, the finale of the story, as both ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ and ‘Euclid’ are a kind of conclusion, although in different ways. And this is where she appears – Rain (where the name comes from, obviously), Vessel’s new love.

Now, in order. Time passes after the break-up with Sleep; amongst the myriad of new fast-paced affairs, none can lead to anything.

“For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody”

Exactly until the moment, he meets her, Rain.

“And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me”

She shows reciprocity, and it is not some little affair. In Vessel’s eyes, she is the one, who becomes his hope for a new serious (and healthy) relationship, for breaking the endless cycle of viciousness. However, we ought not to forget that he himself, as we see in ‘DYWTYLM’, has enormous difficulty accepting himself, and therefore finds himself unworthy of a partner (“And I don't wanna get in your way”).

Nevertheless, he believes that Rain is the woman who can become ‘the one’ for him. That is why she is like the purifying rain (remember the constant thread of comparing love to water). Beside her, Vessel becomes the best version of himself.

“And just like the rain You cast the dust into nothing And wash out the salt from my hands So touch me again I feel my shadow dissolving Will you cleanse me with pleasure?”

However, he is not forgetting that he is far from an ideal partner. Mutual toxicity, demanding the impossible, manipulation – all the things he has done and been in the past relationship.

“A dangerous disposition somehow Refracted in light, reflected in sound I'm coiled up like the venomous serpent”

He is caught between his fear of returning to this darker side of himself, being the cause of his new lover's suffering, and his desire to give himself another chance and enter into a new relationship. In doing so, he openly warns her of his dark sides. The last line is especially important.

“And I know, I know the way that it goes You get what you give, you reap what you sow And I can see you in my fate And I know, I know I am what I am The mouth of the wolf, the eyes of the lamb So darling, will you saturate?”

Here we return to ‘Aqua Regia’, to the line “Saturate me, I can't get enough”. The endless chase for a relationship ends. Rain is the one who can ‘saturate’ him, meaning an affair with her can lead to a serious long-term relationship.

Here, through a wonderfully subtle reference to ‘Blood Sport’ and the subsequent repetition of “Rain down on me”, we see that despite all the worries and fears, Vessel finally decides to start a new chapter of his life together with a new love.

“Nobody can say for certain If maybe it's all just a game When I open my eyes to the future I can hear you say my name”

‘Take Me Back to Eden’, it seems to me, is not even so much an epilogue as a kind of ‘confession’, leaving some hint of an open ending to the story. It is Vessel's reflection on his past with both Eden and Sleep, and the leftover longing and pain, which he has not been able to let go.

“I dream in phosphorescence Bleed through spaces See you drifting past the fog But no one told you where to go We dive through crystal waters Perfect oceans But no one told me not to breathe And now the weightlessness recedes”

Even in the new chapter of his life, his past relationships and the pain he has endured continue to drag him down. After the rather encouraging ‘Rain’, ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ seems rather bleak and despairing.

“My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre Come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and thе gods grow tired”

His morbid desire for a perfect relationship has not gone anywhere.

“I will travel far beyond the path of reason Take me back to Eden”

The song in many ways shows the vivid image of introspection from ‘DYWTYLM’, but in a more aggressive and desperate way.

“Well, yeah, I spit blood when I wake up Sink porcelain stained, choking up brain matter and make-up Just two days since the mainframe went down and I'm still messed up Room feels like a meat freezer I dangle in like cold cuts Missed calls, answer phones from people I just don't trust”

Mostly the song draws a rather gloomy picture of the recognition that there is no going back, what has been done cannot be undone, and the pain caused cannot be taken away.

“And I don't know what's got its teeth in me But I'm about to bite back in anger No amount of self-sought fury Will bring back the glory of innocence”

Coming right after ‘Rain’, ‘Take Me Back to Eden’ seems to hint at the continuation of the vicious cycle. The vivid reference to ‘Chokehold’ at the end of the song is especially evident – we go back to the beginning of this cycle: addiction, pain, break-up, suffering. Yet, the song does not give an obvious answer as to where the relationship with Rain comes to, as the whole picture is drawn as if from ‘inside’, through inner fears and concerns, rather than through what is going on.

Then, here is the long-awaited ‘Euclid’. To be honest, I think that the song has almost nothing to do with the story. It sums up the whole Sleep Token oeuvre (that is why it consists almost entirely of references).

There is a surprising change of mood again. After the dark and heavy ‘Take Me Back to Eden’, ‘Euclid’ sounds like a new hope, though with a touch of quiet melancholy. It is a kind of what-will-be look into the future, a desire to move forward, no matter what lies ahead. It is a lovely picture of ‘walking off into the sunset’.

“If my fate is a bad collision, and if My mind is an open highway Give me the twilight two-way vision Give me one last ride on a sunset sky lane”

I should be honest – I like the theory that this song is an appeal to the audience, a thank-you for being part of this journey.

“The night belongs to you This bough has broken through I must be someone new”

The repetition of the lines from ‘The Night Does Not Belong to God’ is a wonderful way of putting the lid on the matter and pointing out that this story is over. It is the end of a fragment of the band’s history, and only a few people know what is ahead.

***

So now, the picture is complete. I want to bring up one more question – so what is really the message of Sleep, for the spread of which Sleep Token came into being? I have wondered for a long time, would this ubiquitous ancient god really preach about such down-to-earth things as unrequited love or toxic relationships? But what if we've all been misunderstanding the very concept of the message all along?

I believe that what it is all about is not hidden in the texts at all, as one might think. God's message is much broader than that, and is not something that can be wrapped up in words like that. Because it is about healing through music. Yes, just like that.

Have you ever felt that any of the songs touches your heart, touches a definite string of your soul? If yes, then congratulations, you have received and understood the message. It is not about love and relationships at all, it is about letting your emotions, your hidden pain flow out through your music and giving yourself permission to move on. The theme of love in this context becomes very clear, as it is familiar to many of us. I remember that when I first have to know the band, I described my feelings this way – "they are opening up wounds in my soul that I didn't realise I had, to let them bleed and finally heal".

I feel like this is the very essence of the band’s idea.

So why exactly was Vessel chosen as the ‘preacher’? Precisely because he has been through so much and the story that this narrator told us in the three albums was a heavy burden for him. Throughout Sleep Token's existence, he gradually healed, became more confident, showing by his example the influence of Sleep, which is not at all present in the songs, as is commonly thought.

***

Finally, a couple of words about the EPs ‘One’, ‘Two’, the singles, and their relation to the story. Here we are going a little bit beyond the lore, because I think the concept of the story that is told on the three albums was already formed closer to ‘Sundowning’, and the first EPs could have been just first steps. The direction in which the band was going to work was already clear, but the details were still unsettled. So the songs on those albums, while related to history (as we understand from the references to them in various places on ‘Take Me Back to Eden’), but the connection is more abstract and blurred.

Thank you, if you have made it through.

Worship.

#sleep token #sleeptoken #sleeptoken vessel #sleep token vessel #take me back to eden #this place will become your tomb #sundowning #tmbte #tpwbyt #fandom analysis

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munsonsduchess · 2 years

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Summer Lovin'

summary: a day at the pool turns into something more for you and eddie w/c: 2,401 warnings: mentions of scars, mentions of injury, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of body dysmorphia, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't be a dummy ok), creampie, breeding kink, belly bulge and i think that's it a/n: so i was gonna wait and post this tomorrow but then my lizard brain went "no! we require validation" so here we are, as always if you like this then please comment or reblog or just pop into my inbox to say hey (requests are technically open i just work slow) the title of this is of course paying homage to the late great Olivia Newton John.

this is part ... six of the god and goddess of hellfire and you can find the other parts here:

one.

two.

three.

four.

five.

(moodboard by me)

Summer had come to Hawkins, hot and humid and heavy. It had crept in slowly and before anyone had a chance to fully prepare. People on the radio talked about global warming and a 'hole' in the 'ozone layer' which apparently meant warmer summers and colder winters which really you couldn't see why that would be a bad thing.

You did however eat your words when on the fourth of july it was 100 degrees in the shade and no amount of plug in fans or window ac units helped to cool down the house. You and Eddie had taken to sleeping with just a sheet on the bed and pulling Rose's crib into your bedroom instead of her nursery for fear the baby might overheat in the night without either of you realising.

The public pool was of course a hive of activity each day. Steve had taken a part time job as a lifeguard since he was extremely qualified in both looking after children and water-based activities. He still worked at the video store but was apparently also looking into trade college to get a teaching diploma,

"Coach is retiring after the christmas semester and I dunno I think it would be cool to go back?" he'd said one afternoon while you watched Eddie, Rose and the kids play in the shallow end of the pool,

"Only you Steve Harrington would want to go back to high school" you'd laughed, "but I suppose if anyone is qualified to take over the athletic department it would be their former King"

"Oh come on not you too" Steve groaned, "I get enough of the King Steve crap from Munson"

You'd just laughed and walked off to start buying snacks for when the kids and their big kid leader would tire of the water. Or Rose would need to go down for a nap.

➽───────────────❥

Summer had never really been your favourite time of year, you were much more into fall. Halloween, pumpkins, hot chocolate by the window and watching the rain pelt down onto the tarmac. These last two summers however had changed your mind, especially after the Spring Break Vecna "Welcome to the creepy supernatural shit you didn't know existed" Incident.

You and Eddie had more or less holes yourselves away from everyone else after he'd been released from the hospital and his name had been cleared. You'd both figured now that things were 'getting back to normal' neither of you would be welcome amongst the group at large.

You'd been mistaken. It had started with phone calls you'd ignored, eventually taking the phone off the hook and leaving it that way. There could be nothing good from answering, it was likely just a small minded hick on the other end of the phone who wanted to tell Eddie that no matter what the official story was they knew better.

Then Dustin Henderson and Robin Buckley had invaded the trailer and brought you both kicking and screaming into the sunlight and refused to let go. Nancy had helped Eddie study so he would pass his finals and graduate. Steve had driven everyone to graduation day and you'd cheered loudly as Eddie walked the stage in his green gown and cap.

They'd all been there for you when you found out that summer that you were pregnant with Rose and you still remembered the younger teens crowding into your house to see their new sister, Henderson especially refused to call Rose anything else but his little sister.

You were a strange family but one you were immensely glad of, especially for Eddie's sake. It had just been him and Wayne since Eddie was ten and his old man went away and as much as you and your parents tried to help out you knew the toll it took on Eddie, especially in those early years.

You smiled fondly as your grown husband played with a group of sixteen year olds, all of them careful of the baby and of Max who while more or less fully recovered still suffered with aches and pains associated with breaking both arms and legs. She had to wear special glasses now as well to correct her eyesight but she never once complained instead insisting that they just made her look cooler,

"Hey babe I think Rose is getting a little fussy" Eddie called from the edge of the pool, "I think she might need a nap"

Sure enough you could see the tell tale signs on your little daughters face. She was still only a year old so this much excitement was almost too much for her. Truthfully you'd thought that once Rose passed the year mark you and Eddie would have more time for each other but that hadn't really happened so you were holding out for another while,

"If you guys want I can take her" Steve offered immediately, "Tina will be here in like five for her shift and I'm sure the gremlins can find their own way home"

"Steve I couldn't ask that of you" you tried to decline the offer, surely Steve wanted to stay and hang out with the kids. To play in the pool as well?

"You don't have to, that's what family is for. I can drop her off again later or if you guys are cool I'll keep her until the barbecue"

It was apparently fourth of july tradition for Steve to use his big empty Mega Mansion on the rich side of town to host a family barbecue in the afternoons and watch the fireworks in the evening. According to Robin they'd all just usually hang out at Steve's all day seeing as he had a pool of his own but since he'd had work everyone came to the public pool instead.

"That would be amazing Harrington, real life saver" Eddie appeared by your side, soaked to the skin with droplets of water clinging to his hair, "I'll grab her diaper bag and we'll see you later"

The whole thing happened almost in a blur. Eddie handed Steve the diaper bag and the baby, took the car seat out of his Impala and put it into Steve's BMW, there may have been some talk of Steve getting his own car seat or maybe you imagined that, but then they were off. The kids complained about their ride leaving but Robin effectively shut them down and commanded their attention for a swimming competition.

Which left it as just you and Eddie. Alone. WIthout any responsibilities. With a free house until later that evening.

Neither of you needed to speak.

➽───────────────❥

Eddie almost didn't make it the entire drive home. It was only a few blocks but he almost came in his shorts just from the idea of getting to be alone with you. Sure you'd been able to mess around a little in between Rose's schedule, work, life in general but this was the first time you'd both have the whole afternoon free to do whatever you wanted.

Eddie crowded you up against the door as soon as it shut behind you both. Hands gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him as he crushed his lips on yours. The kiss was rushed for sure but Eddie was just making up for lost time,

"God baby. Can't get enough of you"

"Just fuck me Eds. I can't wait much longer"

You were equally as wrecked sounding as Eddie felt, you wanted this so badly it was almost hard to breathe. Eddie slipped one of his thighs between yours, kicking your legs open wider and grinding his hips against your own,

"Fuck, gonna cum in my pants"

"I can think of better places to cum than that" you teased nipping on his bottom lip, "take me to bed"

Not one to waste time, Eddie scooped you up into his arms and hoisted you over his shoulder, taking the stairs two at a time before kicking open your bedroom door and throwing you onto the bed. All at once he was on top of you, the hair that had fallen out of the messy bun he'd put it in before tickling your skin.

Eddie moved quick, undoing the straps of your bikini top before kissing his way across your chest. His mouth and hands massaging your breasts, tongue flicking out across hardened nippes, teeth grazing soft flesh before biting down hard. You were going to have marks for days after this and a part of you was giddy to show them off. Take that Brenda Cummings at Mommy and Me.

Eddie kissed along the soft expanse of your stomach, it was something you'd been self-conscious about after Rose. You didn't look like you did before, you had stretch marks now, parts of you were rounder than they had been but Eddie had been quick to let you know just how much he loved you still no matter what.

After all it would be pretty hypocritical of him to find fault with your physical appearance after you'd kissed every one of his scars and told him how beautiful he was. How strong he was for protecting Dustin and buying Steve and the others time.

Eddie hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and bikini bottoms, looking up at you to make sure this was still ok that you still wanted to go through with this. You nodded fervently, if he stopped now you might actually cry because you were so worked up.

"I'm not gonna last long" he told you, "god baby you're so perfect, just fucking perfect for me"

"Love you Eds" you gasped feeling two fingers breach your entrance, you'd been wet almost from the moment you sat in the car on the drive home, so worked up thinking about this moment. Eddie curled his fingers as he reached that spot inside that made you see stars. He wasn't messing around right now.

"Wanna kiss your perfect pussy so much but I gotta be inside you"

"Please Eddie" you whined, "need you inside me now"

Eddie nodded quickly, hair flying around him and making him look like a bobble head on someone's dashboard. He was quick to remove himself from his own shorts letting his cock spring free, it made an obscenely wet noise as it slapped against his stomach and you couldn't wait to blow him later and feel the heaviness of it against your tongue. For right now you needed him to fuck you senseless and then you could both take your time later.

Eddie lined himself up with your entrance and pushed in, the burn was always delicious whenever he did so and you'd missed the sensation of being split open like this. Feeling as though your entire body was on fire as his cock slid home inch by perfect inch. When your hips were finally flush against one and other, Eddie leant down for a sloppy kiss before he started moving.

He set a brutal pace from the beginning, neither of you wanting to draw this out for longer than you had to. Eddie kissed and nipped at your throat, your chest, anywhere. His fingers were digging into your hips and you knew that was going to leave bruises as well.

You felt every inch of him as he pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in. Your hips slapping against one and other and the sound of laboured breathing filling the empty spaces in the room,

"Fuck Eddie, feels so good"

"Feel like fucking heaven baby, perfect pussy always taking me so well"

He angled his hips and found that spot he'd brushed earlier with his fingers making you moan loudly and dig your nails into his shoulders, dragging them across his back,

"Do that again" and so he did, again, and again, and again. Eddie's hand pressed down over the outline of his cock in your stomach and you moaned again, you were so close to the edge, so close to giving in.

Eddie only had to take one look at you to know how close you were. His skilled guitarist fingers coming to rub fast circles on your clit, whispering filthy words into your ear until you came with a cry of his name and he could feel you clenching down around him.

You hardly registered Eddie fucking you through your orgasm as you came back down again, it was only when you felt his warm release inside of you that you became aware of your body again. You could feel Eddie's hot breath against your neck and you smiled before pressing a kiss against his shoulder,

"That was incredible love, you did such a good job"

Eddie preened at the praise. He loved to hear that he'd made you feel good, that you'd enjoyed yourself, that was all that mattered to him at the end of the day. Being able to cum himself was a secondary thought.

You lay there for a while until it began to get uncomfortable and Eddie pulled out, causing you to make a noise somewhere between a moan and a hiss. You could feel yourself spilling onto the bed and knew you'd have to change these sheets, Eddie however had other plans as he scooped up your collective release with two fingers and pushed it back into your spasamsing pussy,

"Keep it in there for me sweetheart, keep it safe, gonna fill you up so many times. Put another baby in you" he whispered and your pussy clenched around nothing,

"Eddieee" you whined, far too sensitive and blissed out right now to even attempt what he was suggesting, even if the idea of him filling you up again and again was making your skin tingle.

You were vaguely aware of him leaving the bedroom and coming back with a washcloth to clean up anything that had already spilled out, throwing the cloth into the corner of the room with the rest of the laundry when he was done.

Eddie manoeuvred you both so that he could lay behind you and wrap you in his arms. Your face buried in his chest as he kissed the top of your head,

"Get some rest babe, we've only just gotten started"

You had a thought just before you drifted off to sleep, that you might end up being late for Steve's barbecue.

Taglist: @pillow-titties @shenanigans-and-imagines @prettyboyeddiemunson @eddiesmutson @eddiemvnsonss @hellfireeddiemunson @boomhauer @xbreezymeadowsmunsonx @that-lame-ghoul9000 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @ches-86 @jobean12-blog @anxiousstark @ruinedbythehobbit @winnifredburkleismyhero @inluvweddiemunson @wheaty-melon @lucciaa9 (if you're striken out it means tumblr won't let me tag you properly)

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list just let me know and if I've missed someone please let me know as well.

Love you 💖

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things x fem!reader #stranger things x fem reader #stranger things smut #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #duchess writes #duchess.txt #the god and goddess of hellfire 🔥

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paimaniagalaxia · 21 days

Text

FNAF AU- Clean Up Time

Ship: Springtrap x Self insert

Word count: 1,259

Summary: The after math of the events of FNAF 1, where a clean up crew is hired by Henry Emily to help refurbish and confiscate the animatronics.

Paige is apart of that clean up crew and decides to leave the rest of her crew mates to finish the job, all the while exploring the rest of the pizzaria. Only to end up in parts and services, to find the one and only William Afton. AKA, Springtrap.

CHAPTER THREE

I have never seen… So much… God, it’s sick to look at. How can anyone-- Well, I do it for a living-- But, this. This takes the cake.

Or pizza-- God my mind is a fucking mess right now.

Bodies, bodies just everywhere. Parts scattered about as if this was a free-for-all-- I mean, to THEM, it was a free-for-all. I didn’t think they would do all this, all in one night!

All in, oh boy. Oh… O-Oh no--

Paige grabs a nearby bucket that was nearby Springtrap, hugs it close to her body as viscerale noises escape her lips. Muffled by the bucket, so they wouldn’t exit out silently. So those, those animatronics wouldn’t hear they missed one person to eviscerate.

“Honestly, I’d thought they would have done worse.” Springtrap comments, not phased by the entire situation.

“WORSE?!” Paige shouts back before getting light-headed once more, and heaves into the bucket she was hugging.

“Henry didn’t give us any heads up that these… These monsters would attack.”

Springtrap looks away, as that name isn't what it wanted to hear again. That man, the bane of its existence, was the reason why it was still here. Trapped in this horrible place, but now he had a second chance. Possibly, it could-- He, he could fix all of this.

“Let me go and speak to them. Stay here.”

Paige grabs his arm and holds him back.

“NO! You’ll get hurt!!”

Springtrap huffs and yanks his arm away, before flexing his metallic digits.

“Like I can feel pain. But I’ll be fine.”

“They know me.” Springtrap adds before opening the door. Looking both ways before signaling to Paige to remain here.

She nods and notices the spilt bucket.

“I got that.”

Springtrap sighs and shakes his head. Before nodding and leaving.

In the front entrance, the party room to specific, The Main Four enjoy themselves. After ‘cleaning up’ the intrusion that invaded their home.

(as the bodies were just sitting in the chairs, some even have party hats on)

Freddy Fazbear, the brown bear in the top hat, was adjusting his microphone. Humming to himself as he was set to getting this shindig started once again.

As if nothing BAD happened to them.

“Hey Bonnie, did you find your guitar?” He asks his purplish-blue rabbit pal.

“It’s somewhere, man, they really need to stop moving our stuff about. It’s hard enough as is.” Bonnie responds back as he looks around behind the amps on the stage. His head turns about before looking over, jumping back as a reddish fox animatronic, scares the living daylights out of him.

“FOXY! Knock it off!!”

The fox pirate cackles happily, as he loved scaring his fellow mates.

“Arr! Don’t get yer bolts so tight there Bonnie!! It’s all in good fun!”

Freddy shakes his head before seeing a red bass guitar lurking behind a curtain. As he could remember, the last time they were awake was placed back there. He walks over to it and picks it up, brushing the layer of dust before eyeing Springtrap.

“Oh, Mr. Afton. What brings ya here?” Freddy asks.

“Just Springtrap Freddy… Don’t want Gabriel waking up.” Springtrap mentions.

Freddy sighs as he lowers the bass in his grasp.

“Sorry about that Mr-- Springtrap. They kids didn’t like all that noise going about, so well… They took care of it.”

Springtrap nods as he sees the lifeless bodies, sitting up in the chairs. Including the party hats on some of their heads. A grimace and shocked look appears on his face.

Followed by a groan.

“And so they did…”

He then looks around, as he sees Foxy and Bonnie teasing at each other. Good Jeremy and Fritz were occupied at being near one another, last time he’d met them, they were close friends. But he could tell, there was one missing from The Main Four.

“Hmmm… Where’s Susie? Chica?” Springtrap asks.

Freddy blinks and points over to the kitchen area. That the chicken with the craving and admiration for pizza, would be in her usual hangout spot.

“Oh, she is in there. Been there for a while though.” He answers back.

“Nervous breakdown. We hadn’t been open since the 90’s…” Springtrap reveals.

Foxy and Bonnie look over, hearing the news astonished and dreadful gaze.

Foxy’s jaw even drops, before Bonnie pushes back up.

“That… That can’t be right?” Freddy spoke bewildered, that they couldn’t be out of commission for that long. It boggled his mind, holding the side of his head to ease the confusion.

“It is. All of you, I need you to REALLY clean up this mess. No show if there’s a mess like this.” Springtrap orders.

“WE’RE ALL OUT OF PIZZAAAH!!” Chica pipes up as she exits out of the kitchen before looking over at the other three and Springtrap.

“Wrong timing?”

“Wrong timing…” Springtrap remarks before relaying to Chica the news of what to do.

Soon the Main Four were busy and preoccupied cleaning up the pizzeria’s party room, being given all mops and buckets of clean, sanitized water. Thanks to Paige’s help of course. She was introduced to them, thanks to the aid of Springtrap. They didn’t seem to mind her, and neither did the spirits either, since they didn’t see Paige as much of a threat.

She acted ‘less adulty’ than her previous cleaning crew.

Paige continues to mop one section, alongside Springtrap who was scrubbing down a nearby chair. Something in her mind came to her suddenly, bluntly speaking to Spring. That caught him off guard.

“So, the animatronics have a mind of their own, because of the kid spirits inside of them?” She asks back, as she was told by Spring that it wasn’t just the personalities that the animatronics had-- But living ghosts inside of them too.

“Mmhm.” Springtrap nodded as he kept detailing.

“How did they die?” Paige blurts out.

Springtrap locks up from Paige’s blunt question.

How could he tell her that he was responsible for the murders? That he went out on a full rampage of his own twisted nature, taking the lives of children? No… No he couldn’t mention it back to Paige, because-- Who knows how she’ll act??

She was too nice to know to be traumatized this soon.

Springtrap turns his head over to Freddy as he gestures to them to keep quiet. That none of what happened should be told to Paige.

Freddy nods in agreement, as he gestures back to the others.

Foxy, Bonnie, and Chica nod as well.

“Killed, too soon.” Springtrap answers back vaguely.

“Oh.” Paige solemnly spoke before looking at the other animatronics.

“Let the spirits rest. They did enough damage tonigh--” Springtrap freezes before his suit locks up. Coughing and sputtering blood onto the tile floor.

“Oh for fok sake! N-Not again!!”

“Spring!!” Paige gasps as she rushes over to him, helping him lay back.

The Main Four overhear and stay where they were, knowing this would reawaken the children.

“T-Turn me around…”

“W-What?!”

“Turn me around…” Springtrap repeats back to Paige.

Paige nods as she turns Springtrap onto his stomach.

“There should be a back panel… Flip the switch to r-restart the springlocks.”

“Wouldn’t that crush you ag-- Right, can’t feel pain.”

Paige corrects herself as she opens Springtrap’s back panel. She sees a switch that was labeled RESTART, and flips the switch. Hoping that this would do the trick, just as Springtrap told her.

Then, the suit tenses and makes Springtrap twitch. A guttural grunt was heard before completely collapsing.

“SPRING!? SPRINGTRAAAP!!”

[END OF CHAPTER THREE]

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dodgebolts · 1 year

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oh my god you watch sanremo?? I don’t speak any italian so I just watch the performances later but who’s your favourite so far?? the last few years I always had a clear favourite after night 1 (brividi made me cry last year and I still don’t know why but I digress) but this time I don’t so I’ve just been asking people who I know also watch

yes!! I’ve never sat and watched the full program before and since I’m off of school I decided to take the time to actually watch this year—normally I forget it exists until the end of the month and then watch the performances (or winner) later 😭 I don’t know if I have the fortitude to sit through a second night so I might just do a watch through of the performances tomorrow but I watched yesterday’s live!

So far I think the one that stood out to me (aka the one I remember) is Elodie’s! the song was ballad-like but also picked up and her stage presence is crazy big. It just felt a lot more substantive as a non-fluent learner and I just enjoyed watching! I think the rap group could also definitely do well with some coaching and practice, their song was pretty fun and upbeat, and while they looked like they were having fun I think their presence was a lacking a little for having 5 guys on stage :]

#I also liked Mr Rain’s song but he’s also kinda awkward on stage I just think Elodie has that oomph to her that can make her shine #and her voice is gorgeous I loved listening to her song even though I did make fun of it for being called 2 😭😭#normally I just watch back after the festival is over though LMAO last year my friend and I sat watching all of them and ranking them #and then we compared to one another and then to the official rankings which was SO fun #lyss answers #anon tag

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lyuniephantasy · 1 year

Text

a year ago

if i woke my self from 365 days ago up and told her all of these, she’d just look at me with confused eyes. where that tattoo on my arm came from, why sanremo is more important than eurovision for me now, how i got get this glow up, who the fuck alessandro and riccardo are, what the heck this thing i call brividi is and associate with diamonds, pearls, and bikes, how i am going to italy for 1/2 of that thing this summer, how i met my best online friends, how all of these happened… little does she know…

it was the last saturday of my midterm holiday and i was like “oh god tonight we have sanremo right? maybe i can watch it.” and made my preparations for the night (buying a couple of packs of snacks for the whole evening, energizing enough to stay up until 6 am, having a nice dinner etc etc) i don’t remember what i ate tho. i just remember where i was sitting in the table and how i persuaded my parents to stay up with me - but they left to sleep after the sevent song and the magic started… the magic started at the fifteenth song. there was a so beautiful boy, out of this world, he was making magic up there in the stage. he was next to mahmood, an artist i had known before thanks to eurovision. i was just about to celebrate his comeback but there was this boy with him called “blanco”, white in spanish, wearing all white, just like a “higher era” boy for me - that i was so longing for, with that trancing beauty, that magical deep voice, and the song he sang whith mahmood.

the song was what made me bring the memory of my first love back. it was 2019, i had just started high school and there was a boy in my class. the tall blonde boy with the character in my imaginary - it was so real for me back then. but i realized it was all my imaginary later on in the pandemic. anyways, i loved this guy so much. i was always taking my guard (staying next to him everywhere i can) to talk to him and tell about my feelings and also to feel safe for a bit. because his shoulders were there on that bus we took to get back home after that one earthquake in september 2019. anyways we had so much memories in our first six months at school anfd then a global pandemic seperated us and told us to go home. and never get out for a while. during that times, the big flower in my heart slowly started to fade.

two weeks before brividi’s release. i sat opposite to a young looking pretty woman who said me that she’s going to embrace me. with that faded flower and so much pain in my heart. i cried it out. i talked about that flower.

“let’s revive it.”

then two boys from italy came to give the first drops of water to that newly wakening flower. the flower is now put away somewhere in my heart but it’s always living and will always do. thanks to the that two boys that watered them, and later introduced themselves as “alessandro” and “riccardo” and did so more job in this garden, my heart, than just helping me revive the flower of the first love. they helped me love myself as well, they allied with that woman whose opposite chair i was sitting and crying out for weeks, months, and slowly started to heal me. they made me move on for my life, reminded me that this life is mine and i should be no sad anymore because of things and people who don’t even know about my existence, make all my past selves proud with everything i accomplish, live on. and just live it like this.

thank you mahmood and blanco, or should i refer as alessandro and riccardo, for everything. for all the memories. for all the glow-up. for all the magic. for all the amazing people i met on this rollercoaster. for all of the positive emotions you give me even in desperate times. for all the telepathic hugs when i was crying alone every night on my bed. for the motivation to get up on every day i wake up to the dark. for whispering life on a diamond bike to that beloved dead flower. for making me embrace all of my past, present and my future. for literally everything.

let’s ride on our diamond bikes of life to the sky full of pearls. let’s sing forever, let’s love forever 🚲

vi voglio bene 💎

#sanremo 2022 #sanremo #blanco #mahmood #blahmood #brividi

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babylulururu · 1 year

Text

Guys this is it

I got tagged for the WIP game

What do I have for wips oh God

The Personal Affairs of Wangsheng Chapter 25

Feels like this one is pretty obvious. It's just Wangsheng. 467 words staring at me like why I won't write the fucking ball scene.

It will be done. I promise.

More below the cut!

Untitled document

I don't know what this is. This is the only thing in the document:

The luminescence of the stars filled the sky, a gentle light that comforted and inspired. Zhongli loved the night sky, and found peace and solace in it's beauty.

The document was last updated on February 9th of last year so god knows what the hell it was about. Lantern Rite? I don't remember.

Matchmaking

What I can only assume was a planned sequel to Dense as a Rock but told through Hu Tao’s point of view. Probably was supposed to be, but the writing on this is kind of meh? Like all that happened was Hu Tao complaining about paperwork then Lumine wanted to go to a domain where she would eventually find the blueprint for the key to Zhongli’s dumbbell.

Monday's Melancholy

A document with no words but was planned to be a Tears of Themis AU where Rosa was an idol and was looking for Luke and ended up turning to Mister Wing for assistance in her search.

Then Raven joins the NXX and things get weird from there.

It was an AU thing where Celestine and Kiki were also in the NXX and Kiki developed feelings for Raven at some point but Wangsheng has basically taken all my writing energy away from me whoops.

Can only handle one longfic at a time.

Head in the Game

A planned Tears of Themis anniversary fic where Rosa has inferiority complex towards Mister Wing and sits and cries while playing a mix of Hatsune Miku Project Diva and Hatsune Miku Colorful Stage.

It has some words but uhhhh here's a snippit:

Hatsune Miku: Sekai Diva. That would clear her head. The rthymn game series that Rosa had played since she was a child. Whenever she would get stressed about something, she would play the game, and her stress would replace her worries with a round of concentration.

So those are words that exist.

Birthday ask

A birthday ask I didn't answer because life sucks and sometimes the wifi just doesn't work and then suddenly the house you cleaned during your birthday gets wiped away in a hurricane and I don't wanna think about this ask I'm sorry I know the person who sent it meant well and I actually have an interesting premise for it and it's somewhat developed but I really don't wanna think about the last time I would ever get to hang out in my grandma's house. ;-;

Pearly White

Another empty doc but was just honestly gonna be a cute Chitao scene with neither of them wanting to get out of bed.

Bookworms

Scrapped Alberose fic where they talked about books or some shit. Can't remember the premise other than it must have been some college/high school AU. Here's some words though.

But there was simply something different about how her classmates in front of her just admired pages as if they were simply art pieces to be looked at for a mere thirty-six seconds before flipping the page to of his book. Sucrose had watched Albedo go through at least three books in the past weeks. What they were about, she couldn't remember. All she knew was that Albedo was extremely talented in his academics and yet he still had time to read in class as if he never studied at all.

Aurora's Light

Scrapped royal AU fic where Rosa was destined to wake the king of Stellis with a kiss. In order to get out of an arranged marriage with Duke Marius, Rosa runs away with her childhood friend Luke to live out in a forest cottage for a few years until vines start taking over the forest. The two basically journey to the castle and beat up a dragon.

There's nothing in this document either. Lovely!

The Duke and the Editors Apprentice

This was a royal modern AU where Lumine works as an apprentice underneath Yae Miko. Miko was gonna set Ayato and Lumine up on a date or something. I don't remember but it was apparently a longfic. Whoops.

Sorry Wangsheng you took over my life.

It wasn't that she didn't like her boss. It was far from the truth; Lumine loved having the opportunity to work under Yae Miko as her secretary and apprentice, but it was certainly not easy. What the public didn't know about Miko was that she was crafty as a fox, always seeming to be planning something or another. Just last week she had managed to create a new persona for a member of an advice column and subjected one of the generals from the army to adapt to it. Lumine was used to Miko's schemes by now, but it didn't make work any less stressful.

Wangsheng Stay Alive Scene

Spoilers for future parts of Wangsheng. :)

The Stoney-Faced Emporer and the Starry-Eyed Princess

Another longfic. Royalty AU with Aether forcing Lumine to attend a ball and to at least consider the Emporer of Liyue as a proper suitor for her.

What I like about this one, other than the fact it has two pages (two! of a wip!), I like the idea of a romcom of Zhongli really playing into a stotic ruler and Lumine wants nothing to do with ruling type things. It's a pretty interesting dynamic I had.

Too bad it's gonna rot in WIP he'll.

Regardless of if that thought had even cross Aether's mind, there were pressing issues at hand that Lumine needed to deal with. She looked at herself in the mirror while one of her retainers, Noelle fixed her hair in time for the ballntonight. How her brother was even able to convince her to go was beyond Lumine's knowledge, but she knew that for the rest of the week, she was resigning herself to the fate of suitors asking to court her, or even worse, marry her.

I have a lot more WIPs but they're over a year old and I don't wanna go back any farther and force myself to read my old writing! I hope you like what I have in my wips that got left in 2022 though.

So now I get to force a couple people to go through wip hell with me! @peachiecure and @mottomottoprecure (don't remember if you have a tumblr that isn't your fanseries account but if you do whoops I forgot it) it's your turn to go through wip hell. :)

#personal #wip tag #wip game #god this took an hour #or felt like an hour anyway

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gaysimpsstuff · 3 years

Text

Addidentally Injuring Their S/o

Part Two Here

YT Video Here (thanks @vanillaicedlatte-yt)

Genre: a n g s t

Type: Drabble/ Headcannons

Summary: in the heat of an arguement, after a battle, etc., they activate their quirk and Y/n somewhat permanently.

Warnings: gore, blood, fighting/ cursing, crying, burns, toxic relationships, 290 spoilers, endeavor

Other: This was meant to come out yesterday, but shitty mental health got in the way, so yeet. Also, I’m sorry these get worse and worse as they progress, that’s usually how things go for me. This was also inspired by a Tik Tok that I can’t find where Shigaraki accidentally dusts y/n who’s trying to comfort him. It was a Cosplay, if anyone can find it please let me know so I can link it and credit the creator.

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, Bakugou, Todoroki

Angst Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy (let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist)

Tomura Shigaraki

It had started as a great day, a perfect day even. Everyone was listening to him, the league was getting news coverage, people were afraid.

Everything was too perfect.

Something was going to go wrong, he was sure of it.

He hated the way everyone was laughing and joking together, Toga helping Magne do her nails, Spinner playing video games with Twice backstage, and you were chatting with Dabi and Compress about the league’s next moves.

Kuroguri was off doing something or other, and he’d mentioned another ‘follower of All For One.’

But something felt off.

And of course you would notice him.

You were hiding at an abandoned theatre, and he was sitting on the edge of the stage, staring out at the empty audience.

You were with Dabi and Compress in the wings, and glanced away from them towards your boyfriend.

He seemed stressed, scratching at his neck vigorously. You sighed, standing up and heading over to him, sitting beside him.

You placed your hand on top of his spare hand, offering him a soft smile.’

“Hey, baby~” you cooed. “How’s my boyfriend doing?”

He grumbled, yanking his hand away from you. Your theory was correct, he was stressed about something.

He didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially not you. You always tried to comfort him and convince him everything was ‘okay’ even when it wasn’t.

“Go away.” He growled. “I’m trying to think.”

“Thinking about what?” You asked, scooching closer to him.

“None of your fucking business!” He snapped at you, and you flinched away from him.

“Tomura, I was just trying to help-“ you frowned at him. He could be immature and bratty at times he’s, but he usually made sure not to get that way with you.

“I don’t give a shit! I don’t need your damn help!” He stood up, marching over to the wings to head backstage. You followed suit.

Compress and Dabi quickly rushed off the stage when they saw Shigaraki heading towards them. Dabi stopped for a moment next to you, looking at you.

“Good luck with him.” He said, jerking his head towards Shigaraki. You shrugged at him.

Shigaraki overheard Dabi’s notion, anger and distress intensifying. Good luck? Good luck?! What the hell was wrong with him?

Dabi and Compres joined Toga and Magne in the red velvet chairs, Compress requesting that he gets his nails done in orange and black when she finished with Magne’s.

Shigaraki pushed aside the large heavy curtains blocking his way backstage, finding Spinner and Twice huddled near a small TV, an old PvP game loading onscreen

They both looked over their shoulders, staring up at their boss. You quickly darted backstage, crouching next to the ‘gamer boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis’ as they had nicknamed themselves.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered to them. “He’s in a bit of a mood. I’ll take care of it, okay?”

Did he hear you correctly?

A mood?

You’ll ‘take care of it?’

Of it?

What.

The.

Fuck.

“Say that again, to my fuckung face!” Shigaraki screamed at you. “Tell me I’m just ‘iN a MoOd’ again!!”

You turned to him, eyes wide and scared.

“I’m sorry, Tomura, I didn’t mean it like that- I just didn’t want our friends to worry!”

“They aren’t our fucking friends! They just work for us- they work for me!” He corrected himself.

You stood up, flicking your wrist to motion for Twice and Spinner to leave. They quickly turned off their game and rushed away.

“You might not consider them our friends, but they’re certainly my friends. And I won’t let you scare my friends.” You stood your ground, taking a step towards him.

He scoffed, turning around and marching back onstage. You sighed, following after him, again.

“Please, Tomura talk to me. I’m your partner I want to help you!” You exclaimed. “You’re worrying me, please!”

“Well I don’t want to fucking talk!” He shouted, “and I don’t have to!”

“Please, Tenko!”

“THAT’S NOT MY NAME!”

Red.

He saw red.

His hand flew away from him before he could stop himself, a target missile. It’s destination? Your face.

You lifted your hands instinctively, and he grabbed your wrist, fingers curling around your skin.

In that moment, all he felt was relief. Thank fucking god you’d lifted your arms. It was the one thing that has saved you from him.

You screamed, pain shooting up through you from your arm. Your skin peeled, falling away in tiny fragments of dust.

The dust fell around his fingers, your hand and wrist were completely gone now.

You felt someone pull you backwards, and you saw a glint of silver as Toga quickly severed your arm, blood spilling onto the floor of the stage where the pile of dust that used to be your arm lay.

You fell to your knees, screaming, reaching up and clutching at your elbow- the point of separation- desperately, trying to will your arm back into existence.

“TOMURA!” You shrieked, tears falling down your cheeks. “TOMURA! FIX IT!!”

It was hopeless, you knew there was no way for him to un-dust you. You fell forward, forehead pressed against the floor.

Shigaraki took a step back, glancing at his hand. There were a few speckles of dust resting on his palm. His breath quickened, eyes widening as he cupped his other hand over his mouth.

He stared down at you, Blood staining your shirt as you screamed and cried.

It must have hurt.

He remembered the promise he’d made after you’d started dating, when he’d protected you from some assholes trying to mug you.

“I promise you, I’m going to protect you. Nothing, no one, will lay a hand on you ever again.”

It was a promised meant against anyone who posed a threat to you.

He never meant to become a threat himself.

Touya Todoroki/ Dabi

Some days were always going to be better than others, that’s simply how it works when you’re recovering from trauma.

Today was one of the bad days.

He’d woken up with a thick, heavy, dark feeling in his chest.

He wasn’t even comforted by the warmth your body produced next to him.

Most days he’d roll over and wrap his arm around your body, pulling you close to his body to cuddle you.

This morning however, Dabi rolled away from you and climbed out of bed. You looked over your shoulder at him, confused and slightly hurt. Did you do something to make him upset last night?

You followed after your angsty boyfriend, walking out of the bedroom and down the hall into the kitchen.

He crashed at your apartment a lot, being a villain it was hard to get his own home. You didn’t know where he stayed when he wasn’t at your place.

He grabbed a box of cereal out of the cupboards, pouring himself a bowl. You pulled the milk out of the fridge, handing it to him with a smile.

He scrunched up his nose at your kindness, snatching the carton from your hand and angrily pulling the cap off.

You sighed, nervously pouring yourself a bowl as Dabi started to eat. He didn’t even bother to sit at the table.

“Hey, babe? You okay? You seem kind of... off today.”

Your boyfriend glanced down at you, cerulean eyes seemingly staring right through you.

“M’fine.” He grunted. Your frown tightened.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.” You shook your head at him.

Dabi glared down at you in annoyance. His scowl deepening. You took a step back, concerned and scared.

“Dabi, please talk to me.” You pleaded with him.

“Uzéndayo.” He grumbled angrily. “Fuck off.”

“Please, you’ll hurt my feelings.” You scoffed sarcastically. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

“Don’t fuckin need to. Leave me alone.”

“Dabi, this is my place. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“Then I’ll leave!” He snapped, brushing past you and leaving his cereal on the counter to sog.

He snatched his jacket off the back of the couch, shrugging it onto his shoulders.

“Seriously, Dabi! What the hell’s going on! Did I do something wrong?”

It pissed him off further to hear you blame yourself. You always thought it was your fault, but it never was.

“Oh shut the fuck up for once! Quit thinking it’s all about you! It’s not always about you!”

“Dabi just fucking talk to me! I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s wrong!”

You stepped in front of the door, flinging your arms open to block ilhis exit. He looked you in the eyes, seething.

“Nothing happened!” He shouted “Sometimes I’m just angry for no reason! Get out of my way and I’ll take my anger out on some rando and not on you. Then I’ll come back and we can pretend this never happened.”

“Dabi I won’t let you just kill some innocent person because you’re upset! Just sit with me and we can talk it out and-“

“That’s always your solution! Quit being a wimpy pacifist and move!”

“I’m not a pacifist, I just don’t think you should kill without reason!”

“Well I have a fucking reason!”

“And what’s that?”

“I want to!”

“That’s not a reason!”

“Just get out of my fucking way or I’ll make you!”

“Dabi, just talk to me!”

It was the last thing you said before he grabbed your arm and pulled your body forward to meet his. Your chest pressed against his, his face right in front of yours.

It’d be hot if you weren’t so scared.

“Listen here you little shit,” he growled, low and angry “I’m stronger than you in every fucking way.”

“Dabi?”

“I could kill you in an instant if I so desired.”

“Dabi-“

“Incinerate your filthy annoying ass any day I want, so be fucking grateful for once and watch your damn mouth!”

“Dabi!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN! I am superior to you in every way, you should be grateful I even share oxygen with you!”

“DABI YOU’RE HURTING ME!”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT HURTS, LISTEN TO ME YOU DIRTY MOTHERFUCKER!” He screamed in your face, eyes wild with unchecked rage.

Tears flowed down your face as you sobbed, indescribable pain was shooting up through your arms.

Dabi’s eyes finally drifted downwards, and he froze, mouth falling slack.

Smoke was billowing off his hands, and his knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping you.

He snapped his hands away from you, curling them into his body as his eyes widened. He took a few steps back.

There were black scorch marks on your body in the shape of his hands. They looked real bad.

“Get out.” You whispered, so soft he couldn’t hear.

“W-what?”

“GET OUT!” You screamed, pointing at the door despite the intense pain in your arms. “GET OUT OR I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

“B-baby I’m sorry!” He shouted “I didn’t mean to, I promise!”

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOME BEFORE I TURN YOU IN!”

Dabi stumbled past you, quickly rushing out of your apartment and shutting the door behind him.

His back was pressed against the wood as he slid down, covering his face as he listened to your sobs on the other side, hearing your footsteps fade into the bathroom, probably to run cold water on your skin.

For a moment, all the could think about was the cereal on the counter, getting soggy.

“Fuck.” He muttered, eyes burning as they tried to produce tears without his tear ducts.

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

Shoto Todoroki

Shit wrong emo scar boy with daddy issues, fire powers, and an evil older sibling with blue fire

There we go

It was a shitty day.

Well, most days were shitty days, but today was shittier than usual.

A home visit, Endeavor trying to act like he was ‘upset about everything that happened,’ and pretending he was the victim in the situation.

It would be enough to set anyone on edge, especially Shouto.

So it wasn’t much of a surprise when he returned to the dorms with a deep frown on his face.

Even when Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka tried to talk to him, he still seemed angry the whole time. There was really only one thing that should be able to cheer him up. Let’s hope you do your job well.

“Knock knock~ Shouto it’s me!” you stood on the outside of Shouto’s dorm. You knew Shouto must be stressed, so you’d gotten him some brownies from the sweets cupboard, Sato’s locks were easy to pick.

“I don’t want to fucking talk.” his response was blunt, clearly annoyed that you’d bothered his brooding. “Go away.”

You sighed, he could act like such a child sometimes!

“Shouto, I just want to cheer you up! Let me in, babe.” a moment later, he swung the door open, am annoyed glare on his face. You smiled sweetly at him, handing him the plate of brownies. His hands remained in his pockets, glancing down at the brownies then back up at you.

“Um... can I come in?” you asked quietly. He shrugged, stepping aside to let you in. You stepped past him, sitting on the edge of the platform bed, setting the brownies on the nightstand.

Shouto closed the door behind him, turning to face you.

“Do... do you want to talk about it?” Shouto huffed, shaking his head and looking away from you.

“Do I look like I want to talk?” he snapped. You flinched, his tone was harsh.

“Shouto I just want to help, you don’t need to be rude.”

“I don’t give a shit if I’m being ‘rude.’“ He growled, arms crossed.

His eyes stared coldly at you. Yeah, he was definetly upset.

“That’s okay, we can chat about something else. Oh, Sato probably needs to change the lock on the sweets cupboard, I kinda broke it getting you these brownies!” you looked up at him, smile faltering as he looked down his nose at you. “Are... are you mad at me?”

“Wow, you just noticed that.” he rolled his eyes. “I told you to go away but you didn’t.”

“I-I’m sorry, I was just really worried about you. You’re my boyfriend and I love you, I don’t like seeing you upset.”

“Then maybe you should try fucking listening to me for once. If I don’t want to talk, then you can’t make me talk.” You nodded, apologizing again.

“Oh my god shut the fuck up!” he shouted. “You’re always talking, always apologizing, you’re getting on my fucking nerves!”

“Okay!” you stood up quickly, lifting your hands defensively. “I’ll just leave!”

You brushed past him on your way to the door, hesitating on the handle. You glanced over your shoulder at him.

“Would you fucking stop with the pity?” you looked at the ground, not saying anything.

You heard the slap before you felt it.

The sting shot through your face, and you could hear Shouto shouting at you, but it was muffled. You didn’t know what he was saying.

You lifted your hand to your cheek, hissing in pain. He didn’t just slap you,

He used his fire.

You choked on your words, turning to look at your boyfriend with tear-filled eyes.

Shouto was looking at you with a look of sheer horror on his face.

“I’m sorry...” you whimpered. “I’m going-” you slipped out the door, ignoring Shouto’s shout for you to turn back and talk to him

That it was an accident.

That he didn’t mean it.

That didn’t matter.

Katsuki Bakugou/ Dynamight

Fuck Icy-Hot.

Fuck. Him.

He said he’d gotten stronger since the Summer Camp, but he hadn’t at all.

He was still loosing to Todoroki, and no matter how hard he was working, he still kept loosing to him.

His hand was buried in his hair, tugging harshly every so often as he listened to you ramble about something that happened during your work study.

Even you were getting ahead of him, his own partner was getting stronger than him. He’d promised he’d protect you, but that would be useless if you kept improving faster than him.

“Then afterwords, FatGum took me, Kirishima, and Amajiki to this resturaunt, and the owner turned out to be a huge fan of FatGum, she gave us free desert! Oh my gosh the cake was so good!” you exclaimed, laughing a little.

Bakugou grumbled under his breath a little, keeping his eyes away from your estatic face.

“Great.” you glanced back to your boyfriend from where you sat at your desk, eyebrows furroring. Usually, Katsuki would give you one of those proud smirks all like ‘that’s my partner,’ but today he seemed upset.

“You alright, Katsuki? Was your provisional licence class stressful today?” you asked sympathetically, moving your hand towards him to comfort him.

He yanked his hand away from you, shooting you a pissed off look.

“Fuck no.” he growled. “Even if it was, I can handle it. I don’t need your damn help.” you rested your hand on your lap.

“I know, Katsuki. My boyfriend’s so strong!” you smiled brightly at him. Usually complimenting him would make him feel better, but today it seemed to only piss him off more.

“Shut up.” he hunched over, curling into himself more. He pulled one leg up to his chest, holding it under his knee.

“Uh.. are you sure you’re okay?” you asked, cocking your head to the side gently.

“I’m fucking fine!” He snapped, keeping his eyes anywhere but on you. “I don’t need your pity!”

“Pity? Katsuki I’m not pitying you, I’m worried for you. You’re my boyfriend and I want you to be happy so-”

“Didn’t I say to shut up?” he stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Don’t give me your worry, fight me instead!”

“Why the hell would I fight you, Katsuki? I already know you’re stronger than me!”

“Fucking how? You got that new work study you’re constantntly talking about! How haven’t you gotten stronger than me?”

“Is that what this is about? I’ve only been at my work study for a few days, how in the world could I have leaped leagues in that amount of time to reach your level?”

“Then why even join that stupid work study if you’re not getting stronger?”

“I am getting stronger, just not fast enough to be at your level that quickly!” you explained. “Sorry?”

“Ugh just shut the fuck up!” he shouted, storming out of your dorm and down the hall to the common room. There were a only a few people in there,

Yao-Momo and Jirou in the kitchen, Kirishima and Kaminari on the couches, and Sero was leaning over the back of the couch. They all looked up when Bakugou stormed in with you on his tail.

“Katsuki, you’re confusing me! What’s going on? How can I help? Is it something I did?”

“Just leave me alone, okay? Go away!” he shouted over his shoulder. Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, and Yaoyorazu all snapped their heads towards you and Bakugou.

“Katsuki, please! You’re scaring me!” you glanced over at your friends, Jirou and Yao-Momo glancing between each other and muttering.

“Yo, Kachan, the hell’s going on between you and Y/n?” Kaminari asked, standing up. Sero hissed at him to sit down if he wanted to keep his head.

“I’m sorry, Kaminari, Bakugou’s upset and I don’t know why-”

“Don’t know why? Quit it with the lies! I hate liars!”

“I-I’m not lying! I really don’t know!” you reached forward, latching your hand onto his wrist. “Please just talk to me!”

“BULLSHIT!” he snapped his hand away from yours. “You’re a fucking liar!”

“Bakubro, calm down!” Kirishima stood up, briskly walking over to the two of you.

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” Bakugou slammed his palm against Kirishima’s face, setting off a small explosion.

“KIRISHIMA!” You ran to his side as the smoke cleared, finding his face hardened.

“I’m okay, I’m okay!” he assured you. He offered you a small smile, suddenly, he yelped and ducked, avoiding another hit from Bakugou.

“LET GO OF THEM!” he shouted, and his hand sparked twice before setting off again. This time right next to your face.

You hit the ground first, then felt stinging pain across your face and shoulder.

You didn’t even hear your own screaming because of the fact that he blew up your ears.

You didn’t register Kirishima picking you up, or Bakugou staring after you in fear, or the others in the room scolding Bakugou or worrying about you.

All you knew in that moment was pain.

Pure, white hot, agonizing pain.

#bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha angst #mha angst #angst train #dabi angst #dabi x reader #todoroki angst #todoroki x reader #bakugou angst #bakugou x reader #shigaraki angst #shigaraki x reader #poc reader #male reader #trans reader #gender neutral reader

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

Pattinson

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!reader

Synopsis: Tom gets jealous when you reveal your celebrity crush on Robert Pattinson

Masterlist

“Okay I saw these on Tik Tok and I had to get them for you.” Zendaya grinned as she slid a small black box towards you.

“What is it?” You eyed her skeptically as you accepted the box.

“Just open it and look.” She smiled and rubbed her hands together.

“No.” You gasped as you opened the box. “Team Edward underwear?”

You picked up a pair of lacy black paintings and held them out in front of you. The phrase “Team Edward” was stitched in bold white letters right over the crotch.

“Oh my God.” You burst into laughter. “What are these?”

“They’re just panties.” She said innocently. “I thought you’d like them.”

“I do but I cannot wear this around Tom.” You laughed and set them down. “He’ll think I’m insane.”

“Them wear them when he’s away.” She shrugged.

“I cannot believe you bought these.” You shook your head at her. “Or that someone made them. Or that I want to wear them more than anything.”

“See?” She smiled proudly. “I knew you’d like them.”

“I do.” You admitted. “But Tom can never know they exist.”

You put the panties away in your drawer that night and forgot about them. It wasn’t until a few weeks later when you were a guest on the Graham Norton show that your love of Twilight was brought up once again.

“Now, Y/n, I hear you’re a big Twilight fan.” Graham began.

“Yup. Last time I checked.” You nodded, purposefully quoting Jacob Black.

“Are you really?” Graham giggled.

“I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen those movies.” You shook your head. “Especially the first one. Everyone few months I just sit down and shot gun the series.”

“Were you Team Edward or Team Jacob?”

“Team Edward all the way.” You said immediately. “This is so embarrassing, but I used to leave my window open when I was in middle school so Edward could come in.”

“That’s some dedication.” Graham laughed. “Did he ever come?”

“No. He never did.” You pouted. “13 year old me was really disappointed.”

“I hear you even got a tattoo.” Graham raised his eyebrows, making you hide your face in shame.

“I do.” You laughed behind your hand. “I got too drunk halfway through Eclipse and got a tattoo.”

“You have to show us.” Graham insisted.

“Okay but don’t laugh.” You laughed in defeat and rolled up your sleeve. You held your arm out to the camera, showing off your tattoo that read “Robert Pattinson” in tiny letters on your arm. The audience and Graham laughed at the randomness at the tattoo as your face heated in embarrassment.

“Look at this, it’s not even Twilight related”. Graham laughed. “It’s just Roberts name.”

“I wanted to get to the point.” You shrugged, earning some laughs.

“Why this font?” He wondered as he stared at the tattoo.

“It’s helvetica.” You deadpanned, making Graham cover his face with his cards as he laughed.

“It looks like you’ve just typed this out on the computer.” He pointed out.

“I was drunk.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “And it felt right in the moment.”

“You’ve never met Robert, right?” Graham asked. “You haven’t showed this to him?”

“No, I’ve never met him”. You sighed dramatically. “And he will never see this tattoo.”

“Well then you better cover it up.” Graham said as he looked behind him. “Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Pattinson.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and looked behind Graham as Robert Pattinson came out from back stage. He was in a navy suit, looking as beautiful as ever as he walked towards the couch.

“Oh My God.” You covered your face with your hands as the audience became deafening. You could hear Robert and Graham greeting each other over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Slowly, you took your face away from your hands and sheepishly looked up.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Rob.” Robert smiled as he looked down at you.

“Hi.” You smiled weakly as you stood up. Robert shook your hand and kissed your cheek to say hello, making you die on the spot. You let go of him and sat down on the couch, never taking your eyes off Robert.

“This is…” Graham gestured to you a few times, reminding you to say your name.

“Y/n. Sorry.” You blinked a few times. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m a big fan.”

“Are you?” Robert asked as he sat down. “You a Twilight fan?”

“No, I haven’t seen it.” You lied as you collected yourself.

“You just said-“

“I love all your other movies though.” You cut Graham off. “I really admire your work. Your acting is phenomenal.”

“Thank you.” Robert smiled at you. “I’ve seen some of your work as well. I’m always very impressed.”

“Are you?” You squeaked.

“I am.” Robert chuckled. “You’re very talented. I hope we get to work together someday.”

“I’m surprised you two haven’t met before.” Graham cut in. “Y/n, Rob was in a movie with your boyfriend, wasn’t he?”

“With my what?” You asked as you stared starstuck at Robert.

“Your boyfriend.” Graham repeated as the audience laughed. “Tom Holland?”

“Right.” You laughed awkwardly as you continued to stare at Robert. “Him.”

“Yeah, we were in a movie together a few years ago.” Robert answered. “And we’re going to start filming another one soon. It’s called the Devil All The Time.”

“Right.” You remembered. “He told me about it. I was so jealous that he’s getting to work with you for a second time.”

“I’m sure you and I will share the screen one day. Playing lovers, perhaps.” Robert joked as he nudged you.

“Perhaps.” You squeaked.

“We’re gonna cut to commercial.” Graham announced. “More with Robert Pattinson and Y/n L/n after the break.”

After the interview, you ran back to your dressing room with a huge smile. You had not stopped smiling since Robert had walked out on stage. You walked into your dressing room and saw Tom sitting on your couch, making you let out a squeal.

“Ahh! Did you see me?” You gushed. “Did you see me with Edward?”

“Edward?” He chuckled as he hugged you. “You mean Robert Pattinson?”

“Yeah. Him.” You clapped your hands. “He shook my hand and kissed my cheek. I almost passed out. I’m in love with him.”

“I didn’t realize you were such a big fan.” Tom laughed awkwardly as you danced around the room.

“Are you kidding me? I’ve been in love with that man for over ten years now. I’m never washing my hand again.” You held out the hand he shook. “Or my face. God, he’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah. I’ve seen him.” Toms smile slowly faded. “We worked together, you know.”

“I know. You’re so lucky.” You sighed. “Did you hear him saw he wanted us to play lovers in a movie? Can you imagine if that actually happens?”

“No.” Tom said flatly. Before you could notice his indifference, someone knocked at your soon.

“Op. Someones at the door.” You said as you twisted the handle. You opened the door to reveal Robert leaning against your doorframe, knocking the air out of your chest.

“Hello again.” Robert smiled at you.

“Rob!” You stammered in surprise. “Hi.”

“Nice to see you again, Tom.” Robert said as he looked behind you. “How you been, mate?”

“I’ve been good. You?” Tom asked as he stood beside you. He wrapped a protective arm around your shoulders, not liking how fond you were of his former costar.

“Can’t complain.” Robert shrugged. “I’m excited to start filming though. I’ve been working on the accent but I’m not sure I’ve gotten it yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” You told him. “You’ve done great accents before.”

“Thank you.” He winked at you. “You should come to visit us once we start filming. I’d love to see you again.”

“Of course.” You nodded repeatedly. “I’ll be there.”

“Great.” Robert grinned. “I’ll let you guys get back to it. Bye.”

“Bye.” You enthusiastically waved to him.

“Oh, and Y/n?” Robert said before walking away.

“Yes?” You asked hopefully.

“Close your windows.” He joked, calling back to your story from before. You felt your face heat up and gave him an embarrassed smile before nodding.

“I will.” You told him. Robert firmly squeezed your shoulder before walking away. As soon as you shut the door, you let out a scream and jumped up and down.

“Did you hear that?” You asked Tom. “We have an inside joke. Edward Cullen and I have an inside joke.”

“You do know his name is Rob, right?” Tom said, less than amused. “Not Edward.”

“He’s Edward to me.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “I’ve never been this close to getting a vampire boyfriend. Ah, I’m so happy.”

“You already have a boyfriend.” Tom reminded you as he slumped on your couch. First he had to watch you and Robert fawn over each other on Graham’s couch, and now you wouldn’t stop talking about him. Tom was more than jealous at this point and it was starting to get to him.

“I know.” You chuckled as you sat beside Tom and laid your head on his shoulder. “And I love you. Even if you’re not a vampire.”

“Wow. Even if?” He chuckled sarcastically as he wrapped an arm around you. You leaned up to kiss him, making him feel better. You may be a fan of Robert, but Tom was the one you were kissing.

As promised, Tom brought you with him to the set of The Devil All The Time. He left you in his trailer early in the morning when he left to film, but you were nowhere to be found by the time he returned at the end of the day. Tom pouted when he found his trailer empty and went for a walk around the set to try and find you. When you didn’t turn up in any of the places he checked, he returned to his trailer in defeat.

“Darling?” Tom asked as he walked into his trailer. “Are you in here?”

“Where the hell you been, loca?” You asked as you threw your arms around Tom.

“What?” Tom laughed as he hugged you back, just happy to have found you.

“It was a Twilight reference.” You explained before kissing him hello. “I’ve been trying so hard not to make them around Edward all day.”

“You’ve been with Rob all day?” Tom pulled away, his mood dropping quickly.

“Uh huh.” You nodded in excitement. “I was helping him run lines in his trailer. Can you believe he asked me to help him?”

“Good for you.” Tom grumbled as he flopped down on his couch.

“What’s wrong?” You asked when you noticed Toms tone.

“Do you have feelings for this guy or something?” Tom asked. “Cause it’s starting to seem like you’d rather be with Rob.”

“What?” You laughed. “Tommy, don’t be silly. Of course I don’t have feelings for Rob.”

“Really?” Tom raised an eyebrow. “Because you’ve spent all days running lines with him instead of me, your boyfriend. When he’s around, he’s all you talk about Y/n. And I remember you saying you were in love with him multiple times.”

“I’m not in love with him, silly.” You insisted as you took a seat on his lap. “I’m in love with Edward Cullen. He was my comfort character growing up. I didn’t have a lot of friends in school, so I read books. Sometimes, it was nice to pretend a gorgeous vampire was willing to risk the Volturi to be with you.”

“The what?” Tom asked.

“It’s like the Vampire Supreme Court.” You replied.

“The what?” Tom repeated.

“Oh, right. British.” You remembered. “They’re just the most powerful vampire coven, okay? They make all the rules. You’d know them if you saw them. It’s Charlie Seen and that bitch from Cat in the Hat.”

“What does this have to do you liking Rob?” Tom whined.

“Right, sorry.” You waved your hand in dismissal. “I don’t have feelings for Rob. I don’t even know him. I’m just projecting the character I loved growing up onto the actor who played him. You’re telling me you didn’t geek out the first time you met RDJ?”

“I did.” Tom admitted.

“Exactly. He was your childhood hero and Edward was mine. That’s all this is.” You smiled and patted his cheek. “Nothing to worry about, Tommy.”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Tom pouted and rubbed your back. “I shouldn’t have accused you of anything.”

“It’s okay. I can see why you got a little jealous. I have been talking about him a lot.” You admitted. “But I promise you, when I look at him, all I see is Edward. Just straight up baseball uniforms and spider monkies.”

“What the hell goes on in those movies?” Tom mumbled under his breath.

“Well, the last two are pretty much an abortion debate.” You began. “But they’re also about Bella being willing to die for that vampire dick.”

“In a vampire movie?” Tom wondered.

“Yeah. But the first one is a baseball movie.” You told him.

“What the fuck?” He whispered.

“You’d understand it if you saw them.” You shrugged.

“I don’t think I would.” He said skeptically.

“I also don’t think you would.” You realized. “But you’d finally understand why I call you my “monkey man” sometimes.”

“That’s a Twilight reference?” He gasped.

“Yeah. A lot of things I say are Twilight references.” You chuckled.

“Well if my darling loves them that much, I might have to give them a chance.” Tom smiled as he leaned in to kiss him.

“Mmm.” You hummed against his lips. “You wanna watch 10 hours of Twilight with me?”

“Absolutely not.” Tom laughed against your mouth. He slowly laid you down on the couch as he hovered on top of you, never break the kiss. The kiss got more heated as you gripped his shirt while his hands slid down to your pants. As his hangs found your zipper, you realized something terrifying.

“Oh no.” You gulped.

“Whats wrong?” Tom wondered as he pulled away.

“Um...” you gulped and looked down at your lap. “You’re not gonna want to do that.”

“Why?” Tom raised an eyebrow, eyes darting down to your zipper skeptically.

“Daya sent me underwear a while ago.” You began. “Um, special underwear.”

“Did she?” Tom smirked as he tugged the zipper down.

“Not that kind of special.” You quickly moved his hand. “It um, it has a slogan on it.”

“Okay?” Tom said slowly.

“You’re not gonna like it.” You told him, only making his curiosity grow. Tom looked at you curiously before tugging your pants down. You covered your face with your hands as he gasped in horror.

“Team Edward?” He yelled. “Your underwear says Team Edward?”

“It was all I had!” You protested as you tugged your pants back up.

“You’re telling me you happened to be wearing these the day you come to visit Rob on set?” Tom pointed an accusing finger at you.

“What are you implying?” You asked as you swatted his hand away. Tom ran his hands through his hair and gave it a stressful tug. He didn’t want to take his insecurity out on you, but the underwear had crossed a line.

“Did you think something was gonna happen between you guys?” He mumbled without looking at you.

“What?” You laughed in shock. “Do you seriously think I woke up this morning and thought “hm, might fuck Robert Pattinson today. Let me make sure I put on my underwear that references a character of his from ten years ago!””

“I don’t know!” He whined. “I can’t believe you’re wearing those.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” You laughed as he stormed out of the room. “Tommy, come back.”

“Why are you laughing?” He pouted, face still red from jealousy.

“Because you’re upset over my underwear.” You tried to hold back your laughter. “You know, you could solve this problem by taking them off.”

“No.” He stamped his foot. “You don’t want me. You want you Edgar Curtain and his killer vampire penis.”

“It’s Edward Cullen.” You corrected. “And yes, I do want that.”

“Oh my God.” Tom rubbed his face, making you laugh again.

“Edward would never treat me this way.” You teased. “He would have sex with me and then get scared that he hurt me so he just plays chess with me the rest of our honeymoon.”

“Would he now?” Tom seethed.

“Tommy, please calm down.” You chuckled as you cupped his face. “It’s just an unfortunate coincidence that I was wearing these. I promise, you don’t have anything to worry about. You’re the only one I want.”

“Really?” He asked skeptically as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“What can I say?” You smirked. “I’m Team Tom.”

Tag List 🏷

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland imagine

1K notes · View notes

charcubed · 3 years

Text

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc."

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar.

Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately.

Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT.

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?"

Nope.

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light.

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants.

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark.

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you."

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later.

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode.

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him.

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend...

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced.

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!!

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons.

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry.

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!!

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices.

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

#supernatural #spn meta #15x07 Last Call #Lee Webb #Dean Winchester #Destiel #Dean is bi #took a lot of self control for me to not go FUCKING FERAL in this #char writes things

1K notes · View notes

celestialrry · 3 years

Text

nerves

4.8k

HELLLLO IM WRITING THIS INTRO AND POSTING THIS WHILE FALLING ASLEEP SO ILL POST ALL THE DETAILS ADN ADD THIS TO MU MASTERLIST LATER I LOVE TOU ALL THANK YOU FOR FOLOWING AND REBLOGGIN KISSES FOT YOU ALL (this is like right after release of hs1 harry I think hope you enjoy mwah)

summary: Actress!Y/N goes onto a talk show, and the host has a surprise for her.

warnings: cursing, kinda sorta an anxiety attack?

Y/N was nervous.

This would only be the 5th talk show she’s ever gone on alone after being in the spotlight for a few years when her acting career took off. She started off with indie films and soon made her way to the red carpet, working with esteemed actors and actress’s she could only ever dream of meeting. It was pure bliss.

Of course, fame came with other struggles like hate from the media and random people on twitter, but at the end of the day she was so grateful she had the opportunity to be in the business. She loved getting into a character, finding out what makes them click, and fully emerging herself in whatever film she’s in. At the moment, she was promoting her new film, and being the lead, she had gone on a few talk show’s by herself, but they never failed to make her sick to her stomach. Having no one to turn to when it gets awkward, even not having body heat by her side in front of a live audience and a professional host made her body rack with goosebumps.

“Miss L/N?”

Her head turned towards the door of the dressing room she had been sitting in for 15 minutes alone, trying to get her nerves down. “Yes?’ She responded flashing a forced smile to the assistant standing in the door way. “They’re ready for you.” She nodded her head and stood up, brushing the non-existent dust off her long dress and tumbled a bit on her heels to follow the assistant that was already walking towards the side stage.

They instructed her to wait until her name was called, then walk onto stage and take a seat and have the show progress. So Y/N stood there, biting her bottom lip that was coated with clear gloss and her arms crossed around her waist, her heel covered toe tapping the floor in anticipation.

“Now welcome our very special, and gorgeous guest, Y/N L/N!” She heard Jimmy Kimmel announce and took a short breath before stepping through the automatically opening curtains. She smiled and waved at the people sitting in the audience, happy to see people supporting her, and greeted Jimmy before taking a seat on the loveseat closest to his desk.

“Y/N! Welcome, how are you feeling tonight?” He flashed a comforting smile at her.

She chuckled a bit due to her inability to not laugh in uncomfortable situations. “I’ll be honest with you Jimmy,” She said, adjusting herself in the seat. “M’ pretty nervous.”

“Nervous?” He asked. “Now, why would 2 time Emmy Nominee Miss Y/N L/N be nervous?” Jimmy teased.

Her eyes fell to the floor and her cheeks heated up before looking back at him. “Because,” She dragged out. “It’s always nerve-racking being on live TV.”

He just nodded and made a joke about feeling the same even though he does this every week.

“How are you feeling tonight?” She asked.

He smiled before resting his arms on his desk. “I’m feeling good, I have a surprise for you later, but I’m supposed to ask the questions now, will you let me?”

“Of course I will.” She smiled back.

Y/N met Jimmy the first year she really became “famous” and he had always been her favorite late-night talk show host just because he was never invasive or creepy. Her standards for hosts were quite low at this point. They continued on, promoting her new movie and such before he settled back in his seat.

“So.” He said.

“So.” She said back, raising a brow.

“I hate to ask you this, but I honestly am curious myself,” He began, and her anxiety creeped up just a bit. “Now, we dug through your old interviews, and it seems in every single one, when asked if you had a celebrity crush, your answer was Harry Styles?”

She simply nodded, her cheeks heating up again, and a small smile creeping onto her face at his name.

“I see that smile, Y/N.” Jimmy said, and she let out a laugh, her smile now wide.

“So, do you mind telling us why you like him so much, or should I say love him so much?” His brow raised.

Y/N laughed a bit more, just at her nerves, and took a breath. “Um, he’s always been such an inspiration for me to actually chase my career, I mean I knew him from when he was on X-Factor to be honest. Binged that show all the time when I was in middle school and to see a boy just 2 years older than me just go straight into being in one of the biggest boy-bands in the world was insane. He’s just so passionate about what he does and I admire him for that. Uh- from what I can tell he’s just very charming, sweet, funny, caring, and…” She trailed off her rant, biting her bottom lip just a tad.

“And?”

“He’s incredibly attractive.” She finished a smile on her face as she glanced at the floor again.

“Understandable. I think he’s a good looking man myself, met him a few times and got flustered,” Jimmy jokes before looking at Y/N. “What if I told you he was the surprise I had for you?”

Her brows furrow as she looks at the man sitting across from her. “What? Do you mean like a video-” She feels a tap on her shoulder.

Y/N turns around, still massively confused, and then she sees him.

Harry standing in a simple black suit and white button up, only a few of the buttons actually buttoned and her jaw drops. “Hello.” He says, smiling at her.

Her eyes are wide and she looks like a dear in headlights before her face falls into her hands, elbows resting on her knees, her breath erratic. “No, this isn’t- no. He’s not here.” She says into her hands and the crowd laughs. Everyone laughs.

“M’a bit offended you think I’m not really here, love.” Harry grins, and she pulls her face out of her shaking hands to see him.

She opens her mouth to say something and nothing comes out.

Harry Styles, her celebrity crush since the ripe age of 14, a crush thats lasted 8 years being 22 now, and she’s only seen him on screens her entire life. “Fuck.” Was all she can say. He laughs a bit at her starstruck appearance and turns to Jimmy. “She’s not normally like this, right?”

“Right.” The host jokes, looking back at the girl on the couch, and his smile diminishes a bit. Her eyes are watering and she’s trying to keep her composure but her bottom lip is trembling and Jimmy’s now worried he’s about to have a sobbing woman on live TV.

“You okay Y/N?” Jimmy asks and her head quickly turns to him and then back to Harry. “I-fuck, I’m sorry.” She tries to laugh it off. Tries not to think about how the man she’s loved even before she knew what love truly was, was standing in front of her right now.

“Don’t be sorry.” Harry says, slightly frowning but trying to keep a happy face. He’s standing in front of a girl he’s adored ever since he watched her first movie, for Christs sake, and she’s silently about to break down in front of him, because of him.

Before he can even properly introduce himself, she’s standing on her heels, wobbling a bit, and looking up at him. “Can I hug you?” She mouths, not wanting her question to be picked up on the mic on the back of her dress and before her mouth even closes he’s stepping towards her, big arms wrapping around her waist. Her arms find their way around his chest and her head is resting on his shoulder and her eyes are squeezed shut and she’s mouthing “Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.” Without realizing she’s facing the audience who laugh at her inability to not fangirl. His head dips as he hugs her, reveling in her touch, and then she’s pulling away, remembering they’re on live TV and she can give him a proper hug backstage after this is over when they don’t have to worry about appearances.

She’s still reeling when his hands slide off her waist and he sticks his hand out and says “It’s so nice to meet you.” She takes his calloused hand in hers and says “Same to you.” Blinking away unshed tears.

“Shall we sit then?” He asks and she looks at Jimmy admiring the moment before back at Harry. “You’re staying?” She blurts out before shutting her mouth abruptly.

“If you want me too.” He grins that grin she’s always been infatuated by and she nods, maybe too quickly. “Of course I do- yes,” She coughs. “Yeah, uh, please, let’s.”

They both plant themselves on the loveseat, Y/N taking the spot in which she was before and Harry sitting on the other end, keeping a distance between the two. She recomposes herself and sits up. Harry looks at her for a moment before looking back at Jimmy.

“How are y’Jimmy?” He asks.

“I’m doing well, proud of myself for inviting you, you’re the one person I’ve seen make Y/N go absolutely speechless here,” Jimmy jokes and Y/N groans and smiles, leaning her top half on the arm of the chair, her face in her hands before sitting back up. “How about you, Harry?”

“M’doing well, was very excited to see Y/N here and I’d hopefully say it’s the same for her.” He smiles looking at her, dimples flashing.

“Yeah!” Her voice squeaks. “You’re right. It’s the same for me. I-” She cut’s herself off from saying she’s shitting her pants at the moment. Figuratively, of course, but it’s not very appropriate. She still can’t believe this. Twitter is going to have a field day talking about how flustered Y/N was at this moment.

“Have something you want to say, Y/N? To Harry, more specifically?” Jimmy asks.

“Um,” She begins, locking eyes with Harry. “Did you hear, what I said, um, before you walked out here?”

The green eyed man nods.

Her hands start shaking again and she awkwardly laughs. “I’m sorry you heard that.” She apologizes.

“Why are you apologizing?” Harry asks her, tilting his head and Y/N was going to pass out. “I’m glad you think all those things about me, plus, it’s a nice ego booster to hear that you think I’m ‘incredibly attractive’.” He chuckles a bit, but truthfully he was happy his celebrity crush feels the same way about him.

She just laughs back and mumbles a “Thanks.” Before Jimmy starts up a conversation about whatever was going on at the moment.

Jimmy and Harry start talking about something and Y/N nods her head and laughs when it’s appropriate but she couldn’t process anything. Her hands were interlocked, shaking in her lap, and all she could feel was Harry. Harry sitting next to her, Harry breathing next to her, Harry waving his hands around while he spoke in front of her. It was all too much.

Suddenly his knee lightly knocked against her own. She abruptly turned to look at him, but he was still looking at Jimmy. So she assumed it was a mistake, until it happened again, and this time when her eyes looked to him, his met her’s and he gently and subtly moved closer to their thighs were touching. Y/N let the leg that was crossed over her other relax and fall to the couch, only her ankles crossed, and she swore she could hear his breath stop for a moment, but it was too quiet to be sure.

A few moments after they both had gained the courage to barely revel in each others touch, Jimmy was ending the show. Y/N doesn’t remember what she said or did before the camera cut off, she vaguely remembers waving to the audience but she’s not completely sure.

And then it’s over- just like that.

“This was so fun Jimmy, thank you for inviting me on.” Harry said, standing up (reluctantly) and going to give Jimmy a hug. Y/N on the other hand was watching the interaction and it all hit her like a wave again. Harry fucking Styles was standing in front of her. The men both turn to her as she stands up and she gives a weak smile and mumbles “I forgot I needed to text my assistant, m’sorry I’ll be back.” before speed walking behind the curtain and booking it to her dressing room. She quickly flips the “Do Not Disturb” side of the sign on the door to show and closes the door behind her, her breathing accelerating.

She barely makes it to the couch before bursting out in tears.

Y/N couldn’t really put a finger on whether or not they were tears of joy, sadness, embarrassment, or a combination of all 3. She’s pretty sure it’s the latter though. She slips her heels off and lies on the couch, her hands over her face with not so silent cries as she tries to calm herself.

Meanwhile, both Harry and Jimmy sensed that Y/N wasn’t just going to text her assistant. “Do you think- do you think I said something maybe?” Harry quietly asks the late night host as they walk behind the curtain and into a quieter hallway backstage. Jimmy simply shakes his head before locking eyes with Harry. “Have you seen any of the videos where she talks about you, Harry?”

He shakes his head no and the older man pulls out his phone, doing a quick scroll of his email before finding video file and opening it. “A couple of interns here made this combination of all the times she talked about you in her interviews.”We were gonna play it as you were coming out but her manager said it would be too embarrassing.” Was the only preface Jimmy gave before clicking play.

Y/N stood in an elegant emerald colored gown just off the red carpet, all done up for her first big movie premiere. An interviewer stands in front of her, holding a mic that the woman was moving between herself and Y/N. “So Miss L/N, we need some juicy secrets from the “It-Girl” herself. Who’s your celebrity crush?” Y/N looks at the floor, a shy smile on her face as the quietly says “Harry Styles.” The interviewer’s eyes widen and she chuckles a bit. “I feel you honey, what do you like most about him?” Y/N purses her lips slightly before speaking again. “Um, everything? I think he has a really good heart.” The interviewer makes a joke about how she likes his eyes instead and Y/N laughs, but anyone could tell it was forced.

The screen begins to play another clip.

Y/N is sitting on a couch with her co-stars of a movie she did a year ago, dressed in a classy blush colored suit, and they’re all playing a game with some other talk show host. “Let’s see who knows Y/N the best now, shall we?” The host asks, and looks down at the cards in his hand. “Who is her celebrity crush?” And almost immediately all of her friends were jotting down their answers on a white board. “That was fast,” The host laughs, as does everyone else. “Okay everyone, flip it around.” ‘Harry Styles’ was written on every single board. “Oh my god.” She smiles wide out of embarrassment and puts her face in her hands.

It reminds Harry of what she did when she first saw him.

“Y/N! Looks like you’re absolutely smitten with Harry Styles, aren’t you?” The host asks, and before she could even open her mouth, a co-star of hers was already speaking. “She’d play his songs in her trailer in the morning, full volume, and sing them as loud as she could. It was a good way to wake us all up.” He jokes, and everyone laughs at that. “Whenever he’d post a photo on instagram, or tweet something, I’d see tears in her eyes.” Another co-star speaks up. The audience laughs again and she looks to them. ‘I’m serious! Y/N absolutely adores him.” By this time Y/N’s face was out of her hands and she was sinking into the couch. “Are you embarrassed, Y/N/?” The host jokes “Of course not, well I didn’t want to get absolutely exposed, but I’m not embarrassed to be a fan, could never be embarrassed to be a fan of him, he’s… he’s amazing.”

The phone then fades into yet another clip.

This time, Y/N is sitting in a stool, doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview, and she tears off the second paper of the question, “Is Y/N L/N…” . “Is Y/N L/N,” she reads and the paper catches after the word “dating” is revealed. She looks up at the screen, a twinkle in her eyes as she shoots a close-mouthed smile at the camera. She turns back to the board and rips the paper off, struggling a bit and laughing, until it’s revealed. “Is Y/n L/N dating… Harry Styles” She bursts out laughing, her free hand clutching her stomach.

Harry frowns a but at this, and he didn’t feel like thinking more about why.

“Um,” She begins, “Sorry, I just- do I really talk about him, that much? S’a bit concerning.” She mumbles to herself. “Yeah, no, I’m not dating Harry Styles, he would never. Though, I like how people think it could be a possibility, thats quite funny. I’ll take the… hidden compliment, is that even the right phrase?”

The screen goes to another clip but Jimmy pauses it there and turns off his phone, turning to Harry. “You didn’t do anything Harry, it’s just you being here, she’s probably overwhelmed and-“

“Mr. Kimmel? Jones needs you.” Someone calls out to him down the hall and Jimmy slips his phone in this pocket and sighs. “Sorry, gotta handle this, thank you, for coming.”

“It’s okay,” Harry assures him, “Thanks for having me.” And at that Jimmy rushes down the hall in search of Jones, and Harry stands in the same spot

Harry knows how much he means to his fans, he’s seen them sob at concerts, break down at meet and greets, and when they tell him how much they love him when they run into him on the street. He knows this. But this felt different, for some reason. Maybe it was the burning feeling in his chest when she laughed off how he would never be with her, for what particular reason he has no clue (or just doesn’t want to address it), or how he couldn’t help but pop a dimple when he heard she loves his music. He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of though, is that he needed to speak to her again, hug her for longer, actually get to know Y/N. So he walked into the main back room, walking down different halls until he came across the one that read “Dressing Room #4” and Y/N’s name scribbled in messy handwriting on the white board underneath. He knocked a little rhythm, and waited.

Y/N was still crying, to put it lightly. Maybe hyperventilating was the right word, because she was breathing quite fast, and there was a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. She heard the knocks and attempted to calm herself down a bit, yelling out a “One second!” Before wiping under her eyes and walking to open the door. “Eliana,” She began, ready to wave her assistant way (not that she didn’t adore her, but Y/N needed to be alone before talking about everything), “Can you come back in like 15 minutes, I’m sorry I just need to-”

Her mouth closed when she saw Harry outside of her door, his small smile quickly fading into a frown as he took in her state. “Y/N I wanted to- are you okay?” He asked, stepping a bit closer, trying not to push any boundaries. When she didn’t respond and he saw her bottom lip quiver a bit, his chest clenched. “Can I come in? Can we talk?” He gently asked, eyes running over her puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, and disheveled appearance.

She nodded and he walked in, and she gently shut the door behind him. He turned around to look at her and when his eyes met her’s, she couldn’t take it anymore. She let out a gut-wrenching sob and her face fell in her hands as she shook her head. “I-I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” She choked out and he stepped towards her, his hand coming to rest on her elbow. “Y/N, please, don’t apologize.” And without thinking he took the last step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her firmly, one of his hands cradling the back of her head. Her hands fell from her face and she held him back, arms wrapping tightly around his torso yet again.

As she cried into his chest, he mumbled a soft, “Breathe for me, love.”, and she tried to get her breathing to match his own deep breathes. “I’m sorry,” Y/N says for the millionth time. “I told you to stop apologizing, Y/N, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He frowns to himself, that burning feeling in his chest again. She reluctantly pulls away, and his hands remain on her arms as her own come up to wipe the tears flowing out of her eyes.

“You didn’t sign up to be here and have to deal with a crying fan, Harry.” Y/N sighs, finally looking up at him.

“Hey, I came because I wanted to see you, I’ve seen your movies and I think everything you’re absolutely incredible at what you do, and when Jimmy called asking if I could come to surprise you I jumped at the chance to finally meet you. I know what I signed up for.” He says, his thumbs rubbing the skin of her arms gently.

At his words she let out another sob, her shaking hands coming up to cover her face for a moment yet again. Harry’s eyes widened, he was telling the honest truth, and he didn’t think he said anything wrong. Y/N however, was seeing in person, how king he truly was, and it was just another reality check that the Harry she’s loved for so long really is the same in real life; it was too much to handle. “Thank you,” She sniffles, looking up at him again, meeting his piercing green eyes. “I just, I’ve adored you for years, still do, and I never thought I’d meet you, even after I started getting ‘known’, I always thought you were like, too perfect to be real, and now you’re here and you’re real, and y’know when you meet a celebrity who seems so sweet in interviews and all that but they turn out to be an absolute prick? It’s not like that, you’re the same person I’ve loved over a screen, I- you’ve been my inspiration for fucking years and I don’t know. It’s just a lot.”

Now her hands were on his arms and they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.

“M’not perfect, Y/N.” Harry says softly. Y/n chuckles a bit, glancing to the side before meeting his eyes yet again. “I know, I know the ‘nobody’s perfect’ crap, but if you’re insistent on it, then I think you’re the closest thing there is to perfect, Harry.”

His cheeks turn pink at her confession, and a small smile weaves its way onto his face. “Thank you,” He finally says, before bringing her into another hug, this time her arms wrapped around his neck, and he bends down a bit to hold her tighter. “For everything you said, seriously, you’ve got no idea how much it means t’me.” He admits, still reveling in her touch. She slowly pulls away, noting in her head that he never seems to be the one to let go first. “Of course, wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” She smiles weakly, still drained from all the emotions flowing through her. He just smiles at that, before his hand drags down her arm and he hold her hand, wordlessly pulling her over to sit on the couch.

He doesn’t let go of her hand as they sit quite close facing each other. “Do y’wanna hear a secret? It might make you feel better.” He suggests, cursing himself for being willing to do anything to see her smile fully. “I wish I could lie and say that it’s something I wouldn’t know, but I think I know a bit too much about you.” She says, letting out a small laugh, and he does too. “I promise you don’t know this.” He mumbles.

“Okay, go for it.” She says, holding his hand a bit tighter.

“Well, after you bolted here, Jimmy showed me a few of your interviews, and I wanted to tell you that you’re my celebrity crush too.”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen, a face that looks eerily similar to when she saw him for the first time just an hour prior. “You saw my interviews?” She gasps, her voice cracking at the embarrassment of him seeing her shamelessly confessing her love for him about a million times. It was safe to say she didn’t hear the rest of his confession.

“That’s what you’re focusing on here?” Harry laughs and raises a brow at Y/N.

“What else is there to focus on,” She groans, taking her hand out of his and burying her face into her hands yet again. “I can’t believe Jimmy showed you that, I’m never coming on this show again.”

Harry grins, a dimple popping as he gently wraps his arms around her wrists, pulling her hands off her face. “Did y’hear what I said after that?” He asks softly, his eyes bring into her own. She shakes her head “no” in response and he takes a quick breath before telling her yet again.

“I said, you’re my celebrity crush too. I’ve watched everything you’ve been in and I think y’are absolutely amazing, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think you’re beautiful, inside and out.”

Y/N’s jaw drops for the thousandth time that night.

“You’re fucking with me.” She deadpans, her face blank and mind swimming with emotions.

He frowns and squeezes her hands. “M’not, swear to you.”

She shakes her head in denial. There’s no way she was Harry Style’s celebrity crush. Not in a million years would she ever think those words would be spoken, much less even thought of.

“You don’t believe me?” Harry asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.

“I believe tha you’re just too nice and you feel bad for me, so that’s why you’re telling me this.” Y/N admits to him, a sad smile on her face.

“Really?” He asks, letting go of her hands and bringing one of his own to his pocket.

“Really. I appreciate it, I do, but you don’t have to try and make me feel less humiliated, I think we’ve already passed the point of no return.” Y/N says, laughing a bit.

“Mmm, okay,” He smirks. “Well that just won’t do. May I have your number?”

She raises a brow as he pushes his phone into her hands, already pulled up on a new contact. She types in her number and “#1 fan” in the name and hand the phone back to him. Harry laughs when he sees the contact name and saves it to his phone, then putting it back in his pocket.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Harry muses, a teasing glint in his eye.

She purses her lips. “Why did you just ask for my number?”

“So I can contact you of course,” Harry smiles. “How else am I supposed to set up another date with you?”

“Another?” Y/N questions, her lips turning up.

“’m a gentleman of course, would never ask you out on a first date over the phone,” Harry calmly explains. “So would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?”

Y/n hesitates, unsure if this was still an ask out of pity. “You can meet me at my house, of course if you’re comfortable, and I’ll order us takeout to eat on my porch.” He continues, getting more exciting as he imagines how the date would go.

“What makes you think I’d say yes?” She teases and his mouth gapes.

“Oh fuck off.”

#I just used jimmy cause I didn't feel like making my own host up lolz #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles #harrys styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #im literally half asleep but I needed to post this tonight #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n

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guqin-and-flute · 3 years

Text

Modern 3zun/A-Fu Verse--Baby Acquisition Continuation

[Part 1] [Modern A-Fu Verse] [AO3 Series]

[Crediting @little-smartass with a lot of the characterization/story beats because I’m positive we’ve had a conversation about this at some point]

“He really is as bald as a little cue ball, isn’t he?”

It took Meng Yao several seconds to register that words had been spoken, another to parse the words, then another to tear his gaze up from the pile of early childhood development books he was accumulating in his lap, color coded tabs bristling from the edges. Da-ge was sprawled in the corner of their enormous sage green couch in his slacks and undershirt, bathed in the ghostly, swimming glow of the TV on mute. He was looking down fondly at the newborn tucked into the crook of his arm, fast asleep with his fist shoved up against his face.

A newborn that was, in fact, very bald. And so very tiny.

“Is that normal? Is that a sign of something?” Meng Yao began to anxiously dig around in the plush crevices of the armchair he was folded into for his phone, preparing to search something along the lines of ‘is baby baldness bad??’

On the other half of the L of the couch from Mingjue, Xichen sucked in a shuddering breath through his nose, making them both freeze and look over. But all he did was sigh in his sleep and return to his motionless sprawl where he had collapsed about an hour and a half ago when Mingjue forcibly removed the baby from his arms and insisted he lay down. “Just for 5 minutes,” Meng Yao had also reasoned in a two pronged attack. “No one says you have to nap. Just close your eyes for a bit, then you can take him again while Da-ge makes dinner, if you want.”

Of course, he had fallen asleep immediately as they all had known he would. But one had to give Xichen explicit permission and then a backup compromise and then incentive before he considered doing something so selfish as making sure he wasn’t dead on his feet, even after a day of running errands with an 7 day old who was still suffering from stomach upset from travel. Meng Yao and Mingjue were long since practiced in being able to maneuver around his particular aversion of self care.

When their eyes met again, Mingjue’s were crinkled and he teased in a lower voice, “Being bald is a sign of being an infant, A-Yao. You really know nothing about babies, do you?”

Meng Yao aggressively squashed back the automatic bridling that happened every time a flaw in his...anything was pointed out. Instead, he primly brandished a pastel yellow book with curlicue flowers around the edge. “I am learning.” It’s not my fault I obtained all my siblings after adolescence. Not for lack of trying...

“I’m telling you, most of those are gonna be useless. Everyone’s got something to say and it’s all going to be different. You’re better off just winging it,” Mingjue stage whispered dismissively, rolling his eyes. “It’s just until Xichen’s uncle gets the custody stuff all worked out, so he’ll be gone before you know it. Just enjoy the baby-head smell while he’s here.”

The what? He narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re making fun of me.”

For some reason, a grin spread over Da-ge’s face--a delighted, self satisfied grin. “Oh.” He got up--(”Don’t wake him up--” Meng Yao hissed, stiffening, remembering his disconcerting little mewling cries from Xichen’s return from the store)--and easily cupped the infant up to his shoulder as he crossed the thick cream carpeting.

“Make room, come on,” Mingjue whispered, grabbing a stack of books in one large hand and carelessly tossing them onto the basket of neatly folded throw blankets beside the armchair.

Lips pursed and fully harassed, now, Meng Yao neatly piled the remaining books down by the leg of the chair. “Why do you insist--” When he sat back up, he immediately almost fumbled the armful of baby that was thrust into them. But Mingjue seemed to have been ready for this, because he just kept pressing him into his chest until Meng Yao’s hold came up automatically to support him.

The baby was warm and very soft, with no tension in him at all as he slept. And so light--almost like some sort of doll. It was hard to believe he was a real, living human being instead of some sort of strange hairless animal. Baxia had more heft, for god’s sake and she was a cat.

For some reason, Meng Yao’s heart rate immediately spiked as if he were being chased. His palms and neck began to sweat. It’s not like he hadn’t held the child in the day that he had been here, he just...well, he actually hadn’t. He hadn’t held any child before--his nephew wasn’t quite born yet and he had never been in a foster home with a baby. All yesterday and last night, he had shadowed Mingjue while he changed the diapers, observing techniques such as ‘The Turkey Hold’ and ‘Tissues Before Wet Wipes’. He had noted the ease with which Xichen just palmed him belly down like a fragile little football while packing the lunches Mingjue had assembled for him and Meng Yao to take to work, or patiently maneuvered his little sausage limbs in and out of clothes like he wasn’t afraid of breaking him.

And they certainly weren’t keeping him from Meng Yao--but he was still researching and information gathering while they had plenty of experience. And the stakes seemed absurdly high to chance a failure with this particular subject He hadn’t been avoiding it, just...he was sure the opportunity would present itself. Eventually.

His face was round and slightly alien in its minute proportions; a perfect miniature of a proper nose, a fine dusting of eyebrows above completely smooth little eyelids, a tiny squinch of a mouth that had fallen open in sleep. And he sort of smelled like...slightly sour milk and the floral baby detergent Xichen had bought. Nothing that special.

Cautiously, Meng Yao attempted a gentle joggle with his arms, then froze when those little fingers flexed and the baby made a noise, halfway between a snort and a grunt, but so tiny. How on earth did anything this tiny and helpless even exist? How was he allowed to hold something that had this much potential? This much importance? His father wouldn’t even let him touch his fountain pen at the office--how would he ever let Meng Yao hold his heir? “A-Yao, breathe,” Mingjue’s whisper was nearby and amused and when he looked up at him, Meng Yao saw his face was close, leaning down, hands braced on both arms of the chair. Blocking escape.

“I think you should take him back,” Meng Yao hurriedly whispered back. “I don’t think he likes me. He’s going to wake up and cry.”

Mingjue shrugged. “He might.”

Anxiety, old and choking, rose up in his throat like bile, like failure. “Then take him back.”

The asshole just raised his eyebrow. “No. If he does, it’s not the end of the world. Calm down, smell his head.”

“I can smell him just fine from here, I--”

“Smell his head, I’m telling you--”

“Mingjue--” he hissed, baring his teeth, instinctively looking over at the sleeping Xichen to be the tie breaker and peacemaker, but Mingjue just put the back of his fingers to Meng Yao’s cheek and (gently. Always gently.) pushed his face toward the tiny round head tucked to his shoulder.

Stiffly, he gave a grudging, perfunctory sniff, intending to follow the exact letter of the order and not the spirit, because if he was going to be forced--

Oh. Oh. What? Pressing his nose closer, he breathed in properly. What on earth...

His head did smell different from the old spit up and detergent. Warm and--and--almost sweet but not, somehow mild and calming? It felt familiar, even though it wasn’t. How was this unwinding something in his chest? Without intending to, he breathed out through his mouth in order to hastily draw in another breath, deep and slow. It smelled like... sleep and home and softness. Comfort. And he did have hair, actually--downy little fluff, close to the scalp, soft like velvet when he pressed his lips to it to take a third breath. How did the top of his head smell so good? Was it the baby soap they had used? No, it wasn’t, because he could smell traces of that, soapy and artificial. This was something completely organic that somehow exuded from his scalp?

Mingjue chuckled above his head and Meng Yao opened his eyes--that he didn’t even remember closing. He knew he should probably feel more annoyed at his partner’s smugness but the tension that had been humming through him seemed to have utterly bled away. “There, now, was that so hard?”

“What...is it?” he murmured against the baby’s head, unable to tear his nose away.

“Baby-head smell.”

“Baby-head smell?”

“Mm.”

“Do they--do they all smell like this?”

“More or less. It’s so we don’t eat them when they wake us up in the middle of the night, probably. Hormones and shit.”

“Has someone bottled this? Made it into a candle?” He whispered, affronted. “Is this known?” None of the early childhood development books he had read even alluded to the fact that baby heads apparently smelled like magic. “Does Xichen know?”

Mingjue snorted. “Of course you consider marketing. Yeah, most people who’ve handled babies know about the baby-head smell, so now you do, too. Instant stress relief.”

It was. It was like a drug, how instantaneously it worked. Meng Yao greedily breathed in again, cupping his tiny head closer to him. He could feel the thrum of his heart through his back against his forearms.

Mingjue huffed a fond laugh through his nose and smoothed his hand heavily down Meng Yao’s hair, swaying them both gently as one. “See? Not so scary. Now sit there and relax with baby. I’ll make us all dinner.”

Meng Yao could do that--and quite happily.

#modern 3zun #jgy #nmj #lxc #3zun #also yes the baby is A-Fu he just doesn't have a name yet #I wanted to give them a baby and give them a chance to name him because they don't have either opportunity in the other AU #ALSO GOD I MISS BABIES ;A;#Well it wouldn't be a JGY POV without the shadow of a panic attack but I FIXED IT QUICK #THIS IS A FUN AU. FUN FUN FUN #my stuff #my fic #'he's just here for a little while' suuuuuuure Mingjue >.>

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heyheyloki · 3 years

Text

The Thought Of You

Summary: Not remembering the night before, the reader distances himself from Loki.

Loki x M!Reader

It was always one thing. Perhaps it was Tony and Steve arguing, or maybe Thor bothering Loki, and maybe it was you making fun of the spider boy. Whatever it was, it was exciting for others to watch. However, between all the fighting, Loki and you never did. It was odd to everyone else since they had this deep hatred for the God of Mischief. To you, you didn’t care, you enjoyed Loki’s presence and always knew if you needed a break from the others, you’d go to him. He was always there, even if the two of you started out on a bumpy road since he was hesitant of you when you first came around.

Loki thought you’d be like everyone else, so it wasn’t totally personal. Though, after your many attempts to get to know him, his wall eventually fell around you and then, the bonding started. Everyone around the two of you thought it was weird, after all, Loki was the man who wanted to take over Earth and sent an army onto New York City. Even with that fact, it never seemed to bother you.

Tony Stark always thought something would happen between the two of you, and Thor was more than supportive is it came to be. Steve had some issues since he was close to you as well and just wanted the best for you, and, well, he just didn’t think that ‘best’ was Loki. Nat and Clint seemed indifferent, but were happy with anything you decided. Banner, on the other hand, flipped from Tony and Steve’s perspective at times.

You always told them that Loki and you were just friends, but Loki never seemed to comment on it. In the back of your mind, you knew the god had looks but you cherished the relationship between you and him now. You didn’t need to progress it further since you were quite comfortable where it was. Though, perhaps that was about to change.

After a late night of drinking and dancing courtesy of Tony Stark, you were out for the count. By the time your hung over eyes had opened, you noticed it was almost noon. A groggy groan escaped your chest as you sat up from your rather large bed, again, courtesy of Tony Stark. Your body didn’t even take up half of it, and speaking of your body, when you gazed down at it you noticed your fluffy, grey night robe.

You didn’t exactly remember putting it on, but you didn’t care much. At least, you didn’t care then. When your ears started to work once more, you couldn’t help but notice the sound of your shower running. It was connected to your room and when you gazed towards the door that was shut, the light underneath was shining through.

“What did I drink last night?” You mumbled to yourself as you collapsed back into the bed, your body bouncing a bit.

As your mind tried to figure out what had happened the night before, you heard the shower faucet squeeze close and the water stop it’s pattering. You didn’t bother to look, not that you weren’t curious who you probably slept with last night, but you just didn’t care. It wasn’t common for you to have one-night stands but it wasn’t something you didn’t participate in from time to time.

You could hear the person turn the doorknob before it creaked open, their bare feet stepping across your hardwood tile getting louder as they stepped closer.

“Are you up yet, [Name]?” The stranger asked. Though, that voice wasn’t a stranger to your mind.

Your eyes fluttered open to get a look at a man half naked in your room, the towel around his waist poorly done as if he’d never done it before. The long, black hair he had was wet and textured with like curls. His body had little muscle but his thin figure made up for it, the muscle he did have off subtle lines about his body that was beyond a godly sight.

“Uh, Loki?” You mumbled out, his eyes looking at you as if waiting for you to continue moving your lips.

Though, when you didn’t, he answered with a confused, “Uh, that is my name.”

“Right, right.” You uttered, his words snapping you out of your mind. Without even a second thought, you hopped out of your bed. You quickly tied up your night robe since you didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath except for a pair of boxers. “I’m, uh, gonna go talk to Tony.”

“Stark?” Loki questioned. “Why?”

“Oh, yanno, Avenger stuff.” You chuckled out as you slowly began to inch for the exit.

“I can occupy you, if you wish.”

“No!” You screamed. Your voice startling both you and him. You cleared your throat to quickly say, “I think he wants to do a few tests on me. You know how those are, very private. I’ll see you later, ya? Okay, bye!”

Your hand reached around for the door handle and slipped yourself into the hallway before slamming the door shut behind you. Your back soon going against it as you took in deep breaths. It could have been anyone else, anyone in the damn place and you would have been fine. But, Loki? Why did it have to be him that your drunken self choose?

“I’m so gonna get shit for this,” You uttered as you began to travel down the hallway towards the main area of the building.

“Morning, [Name].” Nat said as she and Clint sat on the couch watching movies.

You nodded in her direction before shuffling into the kitchen. You needed something cold, or hot. No in between for this one. As you were pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you heard footsteps make way towards you.

“What’s up with you?” You heard. Your eyes gazing over at Nat who stared at you with crossed arms.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started out saying. Her body slowly making way towards yours. “Normally, every morning, you say good morning back. You never give a simple nod. So, what’s wrong with you?”

Your eyes blinked rapidly for a moment before letting out a sigh. You knew there was no way for you to get out of this one, but than again you didn’t want her to spill anything to Steve, Banner, or Clint. So, you gave a half lie.

“Just not to happy with who I found in my bed this morning.” You laughed off. “Nothing to worry about.”

Nat stared, her eyes moving up and down before giving a simple, “Okay. Just make sure whoever the mystery man is is out before Tony comes back.”

“He’s not here?”

“Nope. He went out for a bit, but he’ll be back soon.” Nat explained.

You nodded before grabbing your coffee and heading out. You weren’t sure where to go. You wanted to go back in your room, but you didn’t know if Loki was still there. You wanted to go sit in the living room, but you didn’t want questions from the others. So, you choose the next best thing. Wonder about the halls. It wasn’t as bad as you thought, in fact, it was quite therapeutic when gazing out at the birds that flew about. You seriously thought you’d get a break, well, that was until you felt a tap on your shoulder.

You turned around, the soft smile on your lips dropping, your body grew hot at the God of Mischief that stared back.

“Are you alright?” Loki questioned. “You seem.. off.”

“Wha, um, what?” You asked, your throat going dry as your mind thought about what could have transpired the night before. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Loki tilted his head as he eyed you up and down. You noticed every single, tiny detail about him to the point were you noticed the small flicker of his eyes, the tiny redness of the tips of ears. Not to mention the explosive feeling when his hand came to rest on your lower back way too casually.

You quickly grabbed his wrist, your grip tight but not tight enough for Loki to notice a difference. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned. For he first time since you’ve met him, he sounded completely innocent. “Would you like me to take you back your quarters? You look rather flushed, are you sick?”

“N-No, I’m not sick.” You stuttered out as you pushed his hand off of your body. The lingering effects causing your mind to turn foggy, it was the first time in a while that you felt such an effect from a simple touch of another. “I’ll go to my room by myself.”

“I don’t mind the trouble, really, allow me to occupy you.” Loki stated. His body ready to move right along side yours.

“No, seriously.” You stated as your hand came straight flush against his chest. The moment it hit, your words ceased to exist. It felt odd, to fell his heartbeat. You never thought in your lifetime would you be able to feel it, much less this clearly. Though, something was off with it cause you swore for a single second that you felt it skip a beat.

“I, um,” you hummed out as you placed your hand back at your side. “I’ll go by myself.”

When you turned away from the God of Mischief, it was like your entire body became cold. The feeling of him slowly slipping away from your presence was almost the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced before. It was like moving away towards the perfect, most handsome looking sun you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

When your back fell into the bed, it was like everything you were feeling hit you at once. All the things you kept towards the back of your mind came to the front, center stage. All these questions entered your mind.

What did you say to Loki while drunk?

You know he isn’t effected by Midgardian liquor, so, he was completely sober. If so, did he take advantage of your drunk state?

Sure, he was Loki and tried to take over Earth at one point. But you wouldn’t call him evil, at worse you’d give him the ‘bad boy’ label.

Did you really sleep with him?

“Shit,” you grumbled to yourself as you began to bite down on your bottom lip. You knew you had some kind of feelings for Loki, and yes you shut them down as quick as they came for obvious reasons, but you didn’t want everything to come undone just from some liquor. If anything, you at least wanted to tell him at the right time when you were sober.

Turning on your side, you pressing your knees into your chest. It really was nagging, this unknown feeling. You knew the only way you were going to get answers was from Loki himself. However, the thought of that was too much. It was like you were ripping off a bandage that you had just placed on. You were frightened that when it came undone, the painful ripping would completely tear away at what relationship was already there.

“Sir,” Jarvis called out. This wasn’t uncommon since Tony had made sure to install Jarvis in every aspect of this place. “Dinner is ready. Everyone is waiting on you.”

“Okay, thank you.” You hummed out as you gathered yourself before heading out once more. Was it too much for you to be left alone today?

When you made your appearance at the large set table, everyone finally began to eat. Steve made it top priority that everyone must be present before eating, for some reason unknown to Tony and you.

You were seated next to Tony and Thor, Loki sat across from you with Natasha and Steve on either side of him. The food that was presented to you was a simple meal. Take-out. You knew everyone had kitchen duty at least once a week, so you began to believe it was Tony’s week thanks to this being the third time take out was for dinner. Though, you were impressed how he managed to make simple take out so impressively set out like it was from a five-star restaurant.

“How was everyone’s morning?” Steve asked politely. This was routine.

“Fine, just woke up with a massive hangover.” Tony said with a funny-looking smirk that made most of the people sitting around him laugh in amusement.

“Same.” Natasha said. “Remind me never to drink at your parties.”

“Eh, it was still fun. Even if I don’t remember most of it.” You commented. Your eyes going off on their own for a moment before connecting with Loki. Except, his eyes were already on you. With no expression on his face and this certain look in his eyes while staring, it made you zip your mouth quickly. Your eyes darting back down towards your food.

Loki raised a brow quizzically before his attention was brought back to Natasha when she asked you, “Did you manage to get the mystery man out of your bed?”

“What?” You flinched, your hand even lost hold of the fork. The noise it created as it rang the glass plate caught more attention than Natasha’s comment.

“You okay, [Name]?” Steve asked with a curious look.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” You questioned back. If they didn’t know you, they’d drop it. However, they did know you.

“Is it someone we know?” Tony asked with a sly smirk. The look he gave made something turn uncomfortably in your stomach. “Or, maybe the same guy from last time?”

“No,” You lied. “He was a stranger.”

“That is quite exciting.” Thor chuckled as he tried to learn more about the human customs of ‘one night stands’. Something he, for some reason, doesn’t know.

“It really isn’t, but thanks.” You reassured.

“I would disagree.” Tony commented. “I think they’re rather.. thrilling.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to eat once more. Your eyes desperate for another peak at the man across from you. In the back of your mind, you told yourself no. It wasn’t worth it. Just ignore him. Though, your body denied itself to listen to your brain and gave into the desire. In that moment, everything froze. For some unknown reason, it was like everyone else in the room disappeared. The only ones left where Loki and yourself. That look in his eyes, the way his hand held up his head. Everything told you this was a dangerous game you were playing.

“[Name]?” Thor asked, his voice pulling you out of the void and back to reality. “Are you going to eat that?”

“What?” You mumbled before gazing down at the food that you haven’t eaten yet. You shook your head before pushing the plate towards the God of Thunder.

“You sure? You didn’t eat much.” Steve asked, his eyes growing to big puppy eyes filled with concern.

“Yeah, I’m not that hungry anyway.” You waved off. Your body soon standing up from your chair as you dismissed yourself from the others.

You didn’t bother to wait around for good nights or goodbyes from the others. Your feet aimlessly moved around until you rounded the corner. The quick footsteps that grew closer to you the furthest thing from your mind. So, when you felt your body get pressed into the wall, you couldn’t help but let out a loud gasp. Your mouth quickly getting covered by a rough, large hand.

Your eyes quickly began to analyze everything in front of you. Your mind processing the face and body that belonged to Loki, the hand that pressed against your mouth his. He eyed you down for what felt like a decade, that was until he broke it to gaze down the hall for any incoming Avengers. When he didn’t see anyone, he slowly released his hand from your face but still kept you pinned to the wall.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his question rough and demanding of answers.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Dont play dumb with me.” He hissed out. “You’ve been avoiding me all day, what is wrong with you?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Loki huffed, his patience wearing thin. “Then why did you run away this morning? Or when I saw you earlier, and how do you explain not even capable of holding eye contact with me at supper?”

“That was nothing.” You mumbled out, your head turning to the left and down so you didn’t have to look at him. Though, you suppose that was pointless.

His hand was quick to grab onto your chin to make you face him once more. “Don’t look away from me.”

You could feel your body temperature rise, the feeling brutal to the point were you had to bend your leg a bit and tap your fingers just to calm yourself a bit. Everything in your mind ran so quickly that you began to believe you would have a malfunction up there. Though, instead of a malfunction you ended up just blurting out, “Did we sleep together?”

You watched as nothing but pure confusion twisted in Loki’s face. You weren’t positive yet if that was good or bad, but something deep within your stomach told you not to make any false moves. Not to assume anything until you hear his words.

“Would that really be so bad?” He asked, his voice low.

“I don’t mean it like that.” You corrected. “I’m just asking cause I don’t remember anything from last night and when I wake up you were in my shower.”

Loki sighed, his body taking a step back to allow yours to breathe. “No, we didn’t.”

You wanted to desperately to let out a sign of relief. However, you were smart enough to read the look on his face and know this wasn’t the right time for that.

“Then, why were you there?” You asked.

Loki sighed, his eyes making contact with yours before beginning to explain. “I took you back to your room since you were probably more drunk than Stark. I didn’t mean to upset you if I have, I just thought it would be best to keep an eye on you until you fell asleep. I suppose at some point I did as well.”

“So, you took care of me.” You stated as you took an unconscious step closer.

“I suppose so, yes.” He said. “Was that wrong of me to do?”

“No, no.” You ushered out quickly. “That was fine. I’m glad you it was you.”

“You are?” He asked, his eyes staring into yours.

You nodded. Another step closer taken. Both pair of eyes danced with the other as each of you stared at the other. It was this moment of silence that you appreciated the most, cherished the most. It was an intoxicating feeling to sit in silence with Loki, to allow no sound of voice to flow between the both of you. The way your heart beat so intensity, the thoughts that crawled out that always made a shiver go up your spine, well, it was nothing but pure ecstasy.

“Come to my room.” You blurted out, the afterthought not even in question. You meant what you said, and Loki could see that as well by his silence nod and questionless lips.

As the two of your traveled, Loki following behind you in silence, your heart began to pound faster. The wonder of what would come to pass filling in your veins and by the time you came upon your room, you didn’t waste time to lock your door just in case.

“I want you to know something.” You said as you sat down next to Loki on the edge of your bed.

“What is it?” He questioned, his eyes never leaving yours for a second. After all, that would be too long for him.

“I wasn’t in regret or anything, I just wanted to know the truth.” You stated clearly. “If I ever did that with you, I rather remember the time clearly.”

You noticed the adam’s apple in Loki’s throat bob quickly after your words. The way his eyes now going frantic about your body without shame made your hand grip onto your pants. It was a new feeling, but one you enjoyed. Having him look at you felt nothing like anyone else in the past had done, when it was him and only him, you felt like he was looking at the stars.

“Allow me to be frank?” He asked, his question answered with a simple nod.

When Loki leaned in, he stabilized himself by moving one of his hands on top of yours, his fingers snaking in between the spaces in your hand. You felt him grip a bit harder, in a relaxing way before speaking his mind.

“I find myself thinking of you even at the most.. inopportune moments of the day. I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine and should that link be broken either by distance or by time, my heart would cease to be and I would die.” Loki freely spoke. His voice soft, and low as he spoke so that only you would hear this side of him even if no other soul was nearby to hear. “And you.. you’d soon forget about me.”

You leaned your head, a plethora of emotions washing over you at once. Though, you needed to address this one thing as if life and death hanged in the balance. Your body scooted closer to the God, your hand that connected with his now placed on your lap before saying, “Loki. I’d never forget about you.”

The God let out a dry chuckle. “I acknowledge that. I just suppose that’s my fear speaking.”

“If we’re being so open, I’d like to say something as well.” You said, his eyes looking at you with such patience that you’ve never found before. “You make me feel.. you make me feel vulnerable. Every time your eyes meet mine I can feel you looking at my very soul, and I don’t like it. Do you know?”

“Do I know.. what?”

You smiled softly, your hand squeezing Loki’s as you ask, “Do you know what it’s like around you? It’s like.. It’s like I can’t breathe when you’re around and everything stops. When everything stops, I can only focus on you.”

You’ve never really seen Loki smile, but he had granted you the privilege of seeing a few times. However, you instantly knew this kind of smile, the soft and sweet kind he directed towards you was your favorite yet. Sure, the causally smirk or smile was nice, but this one was for you and you alone.

And you loved it.

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fluff #loki x reader #loki odison x reader #loki layfeyson x reader #loki layfeyson x male reader #loki x male reader #loki odinson x male reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x male reader #male reader #x male reader

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blossom-hwa · 3 years

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Stardust - CHANGMIN

So like. This was the first full scenario I wrote for TBZ and I can’t believe I wrote this before actually even STARTING No Air, but whatever! It was cute! I couldn’t help myself but I didn’t want to post this before No Air so that’s why it’s late

Thank you to @deathbykpopboys for helping me put this scenario together! Honestly I don’t think I’d ever write anything without sunny hhhh she’s always so great with ideas <3

Pairing: Changmin x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, a little angst if you squint, teacher!au

Triggers: alcohol, cursing

Word Count: 2.7k

Changmin sometimes thinks you’re a little too perfect to exist.

TBZ Masterlist | No Air | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live

Friday nights are always fun, for Changmin. Friday’s the last day of the work week and kind of blends into the weekend, and because he’s a schoolteacher, he (sort of) gets the weekend off. Sure, he might be making lesson plans or writing reports or doing other important, not fun things, but he also has his stolen moments for dance or shopping or things that he doesn’t have time to do during the week. He’s free, more or less.

The last Friday night of each month, though, Changmin enjoys the most, when he, Jacob, and Kevin meet up for cheap food and drinks. And as much as Changmin likes to wreak havoc on the lives of his fellow teachers (mostly by scaring the wits out of them with dolphin screams and horror movie masks), he really does enjoy their presence in his life and appreciates them for it.

They haven’t a missed a night so far, not since that time Jacob was out with the flu and Kevin had a family emergency. And even though Changmin’s definitely done and said some stupid (read: really embarrassing) things while under the influence, the pros of each night always end up outweighing the cons. So if Changmin wakes up the next morning with a hangover, well, that’s just a side effect of having some fun.

But sometimes he has thoughts. Thoughts that he’s repressed so well he might not even register them, but that exist nonetheless. And Changmin, sadly, is a truthful drunk. His thoughts come spilling out of his mouth, mostly unfiltered, whenever he’s had enough to drink.

And this week, Changmin has been having thoughts. Thoughts that he isn’t sure he wants to spill.

If he drinks, they’ll flood out. It’s the way Changmin works – he’s had enough experiences with alcohol and his brain that he knows what will happen. As he stares at the soju bottle on the table, he knows that if he drinks, he’ll probably regret it in the morning. Not necessarily because he’ll remember what he says – his memory tends to get a bit spotty even after a round of light drinking – but because Kevin definitely will.

Normally, Changmin would praise God for Kevin's ability to remember drunk things. Coupled with his inability to lie, it makes for so much potent blackmail. Sure, Kevin makes Changmin and Jacob swear not to talk about anything he said under the influence, but Changmin isn't an angel the way Jacob is. If it came down to it, he'd sell Kevin's secrets for a single corn chip and some entertainment.

(Okay, not really. But the point still stands.)

If he complained about this to people, they’d probably just laugh and say something about how Kevin is a precious pure meme, that he’d never sell out Changmin’s deepest thoughts for anything. After several years of working with him, though, Changmin knows better.

(He’ll just say that sometimes, Mr. Kev Kev isn't the happy-go-lucky meme-y little boy that everyone likes to make him out to be.)

So maybe Changmin shouldn't be drinking tonight. There isn’t necessarily a lot on his mind, but he’s been thinking of things that he doesn't want spilled just yet, and drinking will only make that possibility a reality.

Isn’t that what alcohol is for, though? To make those worries disappear, if only for a short while? The soju beckons at Changmin, even more so when Kevin actually opens the bottle. Eventually, he throws caution to the wind and fills his own glass.

It’s a clear night, mostly. A bit cloudy, but no sign of rain, and there’s a pleasant little breeze that feels cool against his cheeks. Sitting at one of the small tables outside of the restaurant, Changmin loses himself in the food and the conversation.

After an hour, Jacob decides he needs to leave because he’s supposed to meet with his family the next day and can’t get too plastered. Kevin calls him a noob while making a face, but Jacob, being the angel he is, just pats him on the head on his way out. Privately, Changmin thinks Kevin is much more of a noob than Jacob, but the alcohol hasn’t addled his mind enough to say that out loud just yet.

At some point, though, the world becomes pleasantly muddy. Changmin can register what’s going on at a distant level and he probably shouldn’t drink too much more, but he takes a last shot anyway, just as Kevin asks a slightly slurred “How’s life with Y/N?”

A stupid smile stretches across Changmin’s lips. “Kevin, oh my God, she’s perfect.” He grins, the breeze cool against his flushed cheeks. "She’s so beautiful, it doesn't make sense that we exist in the same world."

Kevin mutters something that sounds like "whipped" and "so soft."

Changmin is sure that if he were sober, he would've attacked his fellow teacher by now, but his tipsy haze is too pleasant to interrupt. He just wants to keep talking. "Kevin," he whines. "Pay attention."

"Okay." Face flushed, Kevin puts his chin on his fist. "'M listening."

"Y/N’s so beautiful." Dimly, Changmin is aware that he's just repeating himself, but he can't help it. The point needs emphasis. "Kevin, she’s so amazing. So much more amazing than me. So smart. Did you know Y/N knows like ten programming languages?"

Tipsily, Kevin shakes his head. "What... what's a program."

"Computer shit." Changmin plays idly with his shot glass. "Doesn't matter. So smart, so nice, so... lovely, Kevin. Y/N’s good at everything. She cuts fruit for me when I work late and make me go to sleep. She doesn’t know anything about dance and tries to help anyway. She works so hard and never takes anyone’s shit and she always knows when I need time alone or when I need comfort.” His mouth draws down into a slight frown. “She’s like... she’s like..."

Why is it so hard to come up with something to explain you? Your entire existence defies definition. How can he even find something comparable to the way you sparkle in his eyes?

Ignoring Kevin’s gaze trained on him, Changmin slumps over the table, eyes gazing out at the dark night. A few stars manage to glitter past the clouds and the piercing lights of the Seoul skyline.

Stars. Something tugs at the back of Changmin’s brain. Stars. Sparkly.

An image of your smile pops, unbidden, in his mind. Your bright eyes glimmer. Like stars.

Oh.

Stardust.

Yes, stardust.

You're like stardust, warm and gentle and... magical. Magical to the touch.

"She’s like." Changmin hiccups. "She’s like stardust, Kevin. Stardust. Perfect. Warm.”

A tear trickles down Kevin's cheek. Changmin has exactly two seconds to ready himself in his drunken haze before Kevin launches himself at his purple hoodie, loosely grasping at the soft cloth as he fully encases Changmin within his arms. "Ji Changmin," he sobs, muffled, "that is the most adorable thing I've ever heard you say."

Even sober, Changmin doesn't think he'd know what to say in response to that, so he just stays silent. It's not like Kevin would even hear him over the sound of his overemotional crying.

Anyway, Kevin's hug feels nice. Warm. Changmin doesn't think he needs to speak words at the moment, he's too comfortable. It's not the same as being in your arms, but he'll settle for it now. He burrows a little deeper into his friend's hold.

“You little child, you,” Kevin sobs into his shoulder. “You’re so sweet and small and warm, I can’t believe you exist.”

Changmin doesn’t feel like replying. There’s a bubble of something growing in his chest that he can’t entirely decipher right now, and his brain has focused on that. It’s some sort of emotion, he thinks. It doesn’t feel very pleasant.

His head gets pulled out of Kevin’s arms. He whines a little, annoyed by the lack of warmth, but he doesn’t really have the presence of mind to do anything but sit there limply as Kevin starts shaking him back and forth, still wailing about how “adorable his little Ji Changminnie is.”

The bubble keeps growing as Kevin keeps shaking him. It doesn’t feel like vomit – Changmin knows that sensation a bit too well – but it makes him feel a little sick. A little upset. The bubble feels suffocating, cold, but it also burns.

Not vomit. He doesn’t feel nauseous. But still unpleasant.

Kevin goes back to hugging Changmin into his chest, which soothes the bubble a little bit. The soft warmth of Kevin’s sweater smooths the burning and takes away the edge of the cold. But the bubble still stays as Changmin rocks back and forth in his friend’s hold, blankly trying to decipher the stupid emotion growing in his heart.

“There’s a bubble.” The words slip out of his mouth just past Kevin’s ear. “There’s a bubble in my chest.”

“Bubble?” Kevin pulls back slightly, flushed face confused. “What bubble?”

Changmin vaguely gestures at his chest as best he can with Kevin’s arms partially trapping his hands. “Here. Doesn’t feel good.”

Kevin’s eyes squint. “Need to vomit?”

“Nooooo,” Changmin whines. “Kevin, it’s a bubble.” He pauses. “Think it’s an emotion.”

He hears Kevin suck in a breath. “I can’t believe my precious little Scorpio child is finally feeling emotions,” the older boy says in a stage whisper, loud enough for at least the next two tables to hear. Changmin has enough presence of mind to slap him. “Hey!”

“It hurts.” Changmin’s lips pout deeper. “I don’t like it.”

“Aww, no, baby.” Kevin pats his head – a little too hard, but Changmin can deal with that. “Why does it hurt? What emotion is it?”

Changmin racks his brains for the word. It’s not a good feeling, so he tries to eliminate the good words as they pass through his mind. Not pleasant. Definitely not happy. Not calm, either.

Sadness? Maybe that’s part of it, but it’s not specific enough. Anger? Not really.

Fear?

Changmin isn’t scared of many things. He loves horror movies and thinks possessed dolls are cute, and it’s hard for anyone to really startle him. Fear is not an emotion that regularly appears in his repertoire.

But this time…

“I’m scared.” The two words slip out of his mouth, quiet, lonely. “’M scared, Kevin.”

Kevin pulls back again. “Changmin, you’re never scared.”

“I am now.” He purses his lips petulantly.

“Why?”

Unconsciously, the corners of his lips turn down even further into a blank pout. "Sometimes I think Y/N’s gonna leave. Slip through my fingers."

Even tipsy, Changmin can tell there are more tears welling up in Kevin's eyes. "But… you love each other?"

"Y/N’s stardust." Changmin's pout deepens. "Too perfect. She’s gonna realize that, that I'm not... I'm not good enough but she’s too nice to say that so she’ll just slip away." He hiccups again, feeling his cheeks burn with drink, fluttering his fingers loosely to make sure Kevin gets the point. "Like stardust."

Kevin remains silent for one, two, three seconds. Changmin takes that time to drain the last little bit of soju left in his cup.

Then Kevin nearly knocks the cup out of his hand when he literally grabs Changmin and forces him to curl up into his sweater, nose buried in the soft folds of cloth. “You beautiful, pure little child, you,” he coos, patting Changmin’s head (still a little too hard, but Changmin really doesn’t feel the need to deal with it right now). “You small little child. You poor, small child. Y/N is so in love with you, there’s no way she’ll ever leave.”

“Stardust,” Changmin reminds Kevin, words muffled into his sweater.

“Stardust,” Kevin agrees. “But good stardust. Gonna stay with you. Never going to leave.”

Changmin doesn’t remember much of what happens after that. He knows that they eventually pay for everything and Kevin’s partner picks them up (well, they were the one who was supposed to pick the two of them up. He doesn’t actually register the driver’s face, but Changmin hears Kevin calling them “love muffin, better than Beyonce,” so it’s probably them. He refuses to acknowledge any alternatives), but he’s too drunk and too tired to process anything else.

Somehow, he wakes up the next day curled up in his bed, forehead threatening to split from the dull pain. Mentally, he thanks himself for closing the shades before he passed out last night (or was it morning? He isn’t completely sure when he got home) so that the sunlight isn’t adding to his headache.

Get up, Changmin, he tells himself, summoning the strength to swing his legs out of bed. Step by step, he exits his room and slowly brushes his teeth before heading toward the kitchen for a bottle of water or something to get rid of the pounding in his head.

Changmin’s so out of it that he doesn’t register the smell of something cooking wafting out of the kitchen before he’s almost in it. He finally stops, confused, just in time to see your head poke out from the kitchen entrance.

For a second, Changmin just stares at you, brain buffering as he tries to come up with a suitable greeting in his hungover state. There’s this look on your face that Changmin’s muddled mind can’t seem to decipher.

Oh, God.

You look like you’re about to cry.

He panics. What did he do wrong? Did he say something bad last night? He can’t remember anything – how badly did he screw up, what the hell did he do –

Then you leap at him, much the same way Kevin did last night, and bury your face into his shoulder.

“Ji Changmin,” you say, words muffled into his rumpled shirt, “I love you so much.”

Changmin’s mouth can only come up with a confused “huh?”

You pull back, eyes shining with tears, but mouth stretched into a beautiful, beautiful smile. ��Don’t tell me you don’t remember what you told Kevin last night,” you say teasingly, though there’s a hint of uncertainty in your gaze.

Slowly, slowly, the events of last night begin to piece themselves together in Changmin’s brain. Every single stupid word he said to Kevin in his drunken stupor comes flooding back in one massive, jumbled mess.

He blushes.

“Ji Changmin.” You cup his puffy, red cheeks between your hands, voice trembling. “Listen to me. I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to slip through your fingers and, fucking, I don’t know, fly away. Because I am not perfect, I am not stardust, but god, I – you’re perfect for me. You are good enough for me, more than good enough for me. You are perfect, and I’m staying here forever. You’re not going to be able to get rid of me. Understood?”

“But –”

“Understood?”

Changmin stares into your shining eyes. Even with you standing right here, hands cradling his face with the gentlest touch, he can’t quite believe you’re real and not just some beautiful figment of his imagination. Slowly, slowly, one of his hands rises to touch the fingers resting against his cheek. Just to make sure this isn’t a dream.

Solid. Warm.

Not a dream.

This is real.

He nods dumbly, a stupid smile spreading across his face. “Okay.”

You crush him close again and this time, Changmin’s arms automatically move to wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. He can feel a few tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt as you hold him tight, so tight, and he smiles, one hand coming up to pat your back.

You’re here. You’re here, alive, solid, real. He can feel your warmth against his body, feel your hair tickling his skin.

You may be ethereal. You may be something completely out of this world, beautiful, divine. You may be sparkling, glimmering, brilliant in the morning sunlight. You may be made of stardust, something too perfect (he’ll fight you on that) to exist on earth.

But now, with you wrapped warmly in his arms, Changmin realizes that even though you may be stardust, that doesn’t mean you’re going anywhere.

A tear slips out of his eye as he smiles.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 cheek pinch for changmin idk why I just think that’d be fun <3)

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dreaming-about-fanfictions · 3 years

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Choose Me Instead II Draco Malfoy x Reader II Chapter 18 of 27: Revelations

Summary: Pretending to be in a relationship with Draco Malfoy to get back at your ex might have not been the smartest idea you ever had. Especially during your last year of Hogwarts where you should be focusing on exams and your future plans. However, you were just pretending. There was no way in hell you could actually catch feelings for someone like Malfoy. … Right?

CHOOSE ME INSTEAD MASTERLIST CHOOSE ME INSTEAD PLAYLIST

A/N: So many people said that they suspect drama is about to happen at the Winter Dance. lol, you all know me too well. Thank you for all the support, my loves <33

Words: 4.5k Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader, post war Warnings: mention of eating disorders, swearing

You saw him first.

He stood at the end of the stairs, next to Theodore Nott. The Slytherins were laughing about a joke that got drowned out in the chatter of the other students. Still, the scene unfolding in front of you tugged at your heartstrings. Nott looked up and when he saw you, he nudged Draco with his elbow and a smirk on his face.

You came down alone, nervously lifting your dress with one hand, trying not to stumble and fall. Draco turned his head and the smile on his lips warmed your heart. At the end of the stairs, he extended his arm and you took his hand. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on it – such an old-school, traditional thing to do. Something you would have rolled your eyes at just a few months ago.

“You look …”, he began but closed his mouth.

You looked at him and wondered if he liked your dress. (And also wondered why the hell you cared about that.)

“Stunning, beautiful, gorgeous,” Nott said when Draco remained silent. “All of them are words you could describe your girlfriend with, Draco.”

You chuckled and Nott took a step forward to greet you, placing a kiss on your cheek. You were surprised by the sudden friendliness. Nott had always been more on the quiet side, hardly ever engaging in house rivalries. Yet, he used to be cold and distant to non-Slytherins. So this gesture was definitely startling.

“What he said,” Draco smirked at you. “You’re beautiful.”

“Well, you don’t look too bad yourself,” you admitted, reaching forward to touch the bow tie around his neck. “Who’s your date then, Nott?”, you asked the other Slytherin.

“Theo.”

“Hm?”

“Theo,” he repeated himself. “You’ve been dating for how long now? Call me Theo.”

“Okay,” you replied, even more surprised now. Had you made it into the inner circle of the Slytherins? Did they accept you already? “Y/N.”

“There she is,” Theo nodded in the direction of the stairs. “Have fun, see you later.” And with that, he left the two of you. You followed him with your eyes; how he walked up the stairs towards a girl with a smile that lit up the whole room. She wore a green velvet dress that complimented her dark skin beautifully. Theo kissed her on the cheek and said something that made her laugh. You recognized her – she was a year below you. And she was a Hufflepuff. And …

“She’s a half-blood,” you stated without taking your eyes off the couple.

Draco snorted. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” you nodded, still in awe at the simple fact that someone like Theodore Nott would even see girls who weren’t purebloods.

“Why does he always copy me?”

You furrowed your brows at the comment and looked over to Draco. “What?”

He shrugged. “I get a non-Slytherin girlfriend and now he tries to do the same.”

“Merlin, Draco,” you rolled your eyes. Yet another thought entered your mind, one that caused nothing but confusion inside of you as you didn’t know what to do with it:

He said ‘girlfriend’. He didn’t put the ‘fake’ in front of it.

***

The Winter Dance was everything you had hoped for – and more.

They decorated the Great Hall beautifully. Large chandeliers hung from the ceiling, bathing the room in golden light. Snowflakes danced above your heads, vanishing into thin air mere inches before they would have touched you. There were tables with white and golden linens all around where students could take a break for a moment while getting something to eat and drink from the refilling plates. In the middle of the hall was the dance floor – so far, not many students dared to get on it. It was still too early. You spotted Luna and Neville, laughing and holding hands while jumping up and down.

“Can you consider this a dance?”, you leaned over and asked Draco. He raised an eyebrow in response but couldn’t hide an amused smile.

Soft music came from an invisible source around you. When you saw the small stage behind the dance floor, you wondered if there would be a band performing tonight like at the Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament.

“They outdid themselves,” you said.

Draco shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, come on! You must admit it looks beautiful.”

“You look beautiful, darling,” he replied.

***

You don’t know if it had been minutes or hours since you walked in the Great Hall – all you knew was that your hair wasn’t in perfect condition anymore, your feet hurt and you were thirsty. Draco danced like a young god. That didn’t surprise you at all, however, you didn’t expect him to do it so freely.

At some point a band whose name you had never heard before started to play. The songs changed from teacher-approved to faster and louder music. It reminded you so much of the Yule Ball, it physically hurt.

There wasn’t much talking going on between you and Draco that night. Just a lot of laughing and singing and dancing. Happiness rushed through your bodies and in those moments, no one else existed. Only you and him.

That was, however, until your best friend tapped Draco on the shoulder: Astoria Greengrass. The two of you came to an abrupt halt.

“May I have this dance?”, she shouted over the loud music, a smug smile on her lips. The Slytherin looked gorgeous in her green satin dress and those emerald earrings that shone brightly in the light of the chandeliers.

“Astoria,” Draco said, out of breath. “Absolutely not.”

The smile remained plastered on her pretty face. “Just one dance? With your future fiancée?”

You raised your eyebrows at that. Without noticing it, the grip on his hand tightened. The constant reminder of their soon-to-be-made betrothal slowly turned annoying. Draco looked at you and your intertwined hands.

“No,” he repeated himself.

What she did next surprised you: she laughed. A short high-pitched laugh. You flinched. “Draco,” she purred his name, taking a step closer. “Just. One. Dance.”

And then it hit you. Like a tile falling from the roof of the astronomy tower, the realization crashed into you. For the first time in forever, you saw her. You looked beyond the beautiful face and what you saw frightened you. She was thin. So thin that it made you wonder how she could stand upright, let alone walk or dance. Her skin was pale but not a “Slytherins-that-spend-to-much-time-in-the-dungeons”-pale. No, it reminded you of a ghost when you saw the blue veins underneath it as it stretched over her sharp collarbones. Astoria gripped her dress tightly but it didn’t stop her hand from shaking. Dark circles underneath her eyes decorated her face and her lips trembled.

Something was very, very wrong.

“It’s fine, Draco.”

He turned his head quickly and frowned.

“It’s fine,” you said empathetically.

He didn’t understand. Neither did you. But the desperation found in Astoria made you feel … pity for her. Judging by her narrowed eyes, she sensed that as well – and she hated it.

You leaned over to Draco and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Before he could protest further, you left.

***

“That band is amazing, how have I never heard of them before?” You dropped onto the chair next to Ginny.

“Because you live behind a rock,” she replied. Strands of red hair hung into her face, her cheeks were red and she stretched her legs in an attempt to relax her muscles. “I haven’t danced that much in years. Everything hurts.”

You groaned in agreement. Letting your eyes wander through the Hall and over your classmates, you spotted Draco and Astoria. They stood together closely and Draco had his hands on her hips. It was a slow song and they moved accordingly, swaying to the music. He didn’t meet her eyes yet you saw how Astoria stared at him, her lips moving.

“Trouble in paradise?”, Ginny asked. She had followed your gaze and watched the two Slytherins with curiosity.

You shook your head. “No.”

“Then why’s he dancing with her?”

“Have you noticed something about Greengrass?”, you wanted to know.

Ginny tilted her head. “Huh.” Then she shrugged. “Not really. I’m not looking at her that often.”

Same, you thought ironically. You had so much contact with her and yet you never noticed anything else behind her strange behavior.

“She’s thin, isn’t she?”, you pondered.

Another shrug. “Aren’t eating disorders something they inherit along with their mansions and fancy clothes?”

Normally, that comment would have made you chuckle. Now, you didn’t react and kept your eyes locked on Greengrass. Ginny watched you awkwardly and was probably very relieved when Harry appeared with two drinks in his hands.

You wondered if Astorias appearance had anything to do with her odd behavior. Then again, you couldn’t really tell if her behavior was strange or not. You hardly ever spoke to her before this school year and had kept a safe distance from the Slytherins. Most of what you knew came from Draco and that wasn’t much. Besides, Draco had been too busy with himself this school year. You were pretty sure that he wouldn’t have noticed if anything was off about her.

A second song came on. Slow again. Greengrass was still talking but this time, she inched even closer. You narrowed your eyes.

“They’re cozy,” Ginny stated nonchalantly and Harry grinned.

That was enough. You rose to your feet swiftly and crossed the room in seconds. “I think I remember something about just one dance?”

Draco took a step back. Astoria copied him. She ignored you, staring at Draco as if she waited for him to say something. His face was blank, he avoided looking at her. The loud music blaring from the stage didn’t hide the heavy tension between them. You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another.

“Nothing, Draco?”, she finally asked. You barely understood it over the singing students next to you. “You have nothing to say?”

His eyes darted to you. The look in them caused a shiver to run down your spine. You had seen it before. After the evening in his dorm when he came to you again in the Room of Requirements. Guilt.

“Not tonight.” He straightened his back and reached for your hand. You didn’t resist. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Talk about what? About their engagement?

Astoria scoffed. “Well then,” she shot you one last look. “Enjoy your night.”

“Everything alright?”, you asked when she was gone.

Draco pulled you closer and the two of you started swaying to the rhythm of the next song. “Sure.” His eyes travelled over the crowd as if he was looking for someone. Looking for her.

You stopped and let go of his hands. “Don’t.” Your voice was calm but firm. You wouldn’t accept this behavior. You weren’t his mother or Zabini or even Greengrass, where he could just avoid questions and give one-worded lies as answers. “We’re beyond this.”

Draco sighed. You saw it by the way his chest rose. After another brief moment of hesitation, he grabbed your hand and pulled you from the dance area. He walked until the two of you had passed the tables and leaned against a few steps away from the huge wooden door that led outside.

“Is this about your engagement?”, you wanted to know impatiently.

Draco opened his mouth and closed it again. You crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“Kind of,” he admitted. “I can’t say.”

A cold, heavy feeling set in your stomach. “Kind of?”

Draco let out a deep breath and reached for your arms to pull you close again. This time, you resisted. “Yes,” he nodded. “I really can’t say.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

“I can’t,” his tone grew harder at your accusation. You narrowed your eyes.

“Look, Y/N, it’s something that doesn’t concern you. It’s personal for her and I don’t know enough to speak about this to you. She asked me not to.”

“Our arrangement is personal too and I’d like to know if it’s going to end soon,” you shot back. The feeling in your stomach grew heavier when you thought about the word end. It had only just begun. You didn’t want it to end. Not yet, at least.

To your surprise, Draco just snorted. “What we have isn’t going to end anytime soon if I have it my way,” he tried to reassure you. Again, he reached for your arms. Hesitantly, you let him pull you close. “It’s just not my secret to tell.”

You sighed. A part of you had to admit that you understood where he was coming from. If anything, it spoke for his character that he didn’t just blurt out whatever she had told him. “Since when do you care about these things?”

“Slytherin’s honor,” he replied simply and shrugged.

You raised an eyebrow. “What?” The corners of your mouth twitched.

“It doesn’t matter if I like her or not,” he explained. “She told me something and I won’t repeat it to others.”

“Because she’s a Slytherin?”

Draco nodded. “When three out of three other houses hate you, you have to stick together.”

You chuckled and leaned against him. “Makes sense. I don’t think everyone hates you though.”

“There are always exceptions to the rule.”

***

Late that night …

“The Weasel is looking at you.”

You chuckled against Draco’s chest. “I guarantee you, he looking at you.”

It was late and only a few of your classmates could still be found in the Great Hall; most of them sixth and seventh graders. Some of the teachers sat together on a table, watching the remaining students.

After the talk with Draco about Greengrass, you had gone back to dance and drink. It’d be lie to say you simply forgot about this even though you were certain that Draco would tell you all about it when the time came. But of course, the nagging feeling didn’t leave you. What could she have told him that was so shocking? What secrets were left in their families that he wasn’t able to look her in the eyes afterwards?

Only when Seamus slipped you one of his famous drinks did you start to relax a little and pushed the thought to the back of your brain. It was the same for Draco even though you saw how his expression would change once he spotted one of the Greengrass sisters. Was Daphne involved?

Involved in what?, you wondered when he twirled you around.

“Hm.”

The sound made you look at the Slytherin. “What is it?”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?” You followed his gaze. Ron stood a few meters away from you, hands on Hermiones hips. She had her eyes closed as she moved to the slow sounds, unaware of her boyfriend’s preoccupation.

“I still can’t believe you let him-“

“Draco!”, you glared at him.

He shook his head before asking: “Was he any good though?”

You snorted. Was he serious? Judging by the way he waited for an answer, he was. “I had my fun,” you finally said diplomatically.

Again, Draco shook his head. He looked back and forth between you and the Weasley. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with that information.”

“Don’t ask me stuff if you’re not prepared for the answer,” you gave a half shrug.

***

The stones felt cold against your back when Draco pressed you up against the wall. The teachers had officially ended the Winter Dance just a few minutes earlier. Not wanting to go to bed early (or rather – go to bed separately), Draco and you snuck outside to the inner courtyard.

There was a storm raging on tonight. It rained heavily, the drops clattering against the ancient walls and the air was chilly. The two of you didn’t notice any of it. All you felt was his body against yours and his hands on your hips. He kissed you, deep and slow, with a longing that you blamed on the alcohol from Seamus. You buried your hands in his hair, chuckling as he playfully bit on your lower lip.

“Hey lovebirds! Get a room already!”, the interruption broke your kiss.

Draco cursed under his breath and turned his head, ready to tell them to leave you two alone. The words got stuck in his throat when he saw who it was.

Ron and Hermione looked at you, accompanied by Harry and Ginny. Rons stare reminded you of the one you got on your face when Moaning Myrtle would overflow the toilets again – utterly disgusted. Hermione squeezed his hand, a mixture of annoyance and nervousness written over her face. Ginny looked the same and Harry just seemed deeply confused.

“Oh for fucks sake!”, Ron exclaimed dramatically when he recognized Draco.

“Ignore him,” you said and held onto his arms. “He’s not worth it.” Despite the loud noises of the rain, the Redhead heard you.

“Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Malfoy!”

Draco’s eyes narrowed.

“Ron, please,” Hermione chimed in, now more annoyed than nervous. “Let’s go inside. It’s late.”

“Yes, why don’t you just piss off, Weasel?”, Draco scoffed.

“Or what?”, Ron spat. “You tell your father?”

You rolled your eyes but Draco was quick to answer: “No, I’ll make just sure you’ll end up in the same place as him.”

“Ron, let’s go,” Hermione insisted.

He ignored her. “Oooooh, now you really scared me, Malfoy!”

“Draco, come on.” You sensed that this would end badly if no one would step in. Your eyes flickered to the door leading inside the castle, unsure whether you wanted a teacher to come out now or not.

“Ron, we’re leaving!”

Harry and Ginny glanced at each other. They had taken a few steps back and you saw how Harry opened his mouth. Ginny hissed something and he closed it again.

“No, we’re not done here.”

Your eyes darted back to Ron at his sentence. “Not done with what, Ron?”, you barked. “Just fucking go back inside. There’s really no need for this.”

He stared at Draco. The Slytherin straightened his back and his posture told Ron without any words what he thought of him. I’m better than you, it screamed. Arrogance dripped out of his every pore. You were taken aback by it – not having seen this side of him for a long time now. You had almost forgotten it was still there.

A sense of dread washed over you when you realized: Something’s about to happen.

Suddenly, a smug expression appeared on his face. Oh-oh.

“What?”, Ron spat out when he saw it.

“Nothing,” Draco replied but the smirk stayed.

“No, you arrogant prick! Spit it out!”

“It’s just hilarious how obsessed you are with her. Still.”

Lightning struck and your blood froze. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Draco, don’t!”, you hissed.

From the corner of your eye you saw how Hermione frowned.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ron still sounded firm but he grew pale. You were sure that Hermione noticed it as well.

“Sure,” Draco leaned against the wall next to you.

“I don’t know what she told you but –”

Anger. The feeling that began to boil up inside of you was exactly that – the anger you had swallowed down for months now. The rage, Draco had managed to calm down at least for a few weeks. He had made you forget it was even there, turning the memory of Ron and your last summer into a distant dream. Something so insignificant to you, it made the flies living in the Forbidden Forest seem more important.

Now, it was back. Right when you realized that the coward wanted to lie about you and him again.

“That sentence better not ends with ‘it’s not true’,” you blurted out. Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Wait, wait, what’s this about?” Hermione took a step back. Deep lines decorated her forehead as her eyes darted back and forth between you and Ron.

Her boyfriend turned to her, wanting to reach out but she wouldn’t have it. She was now outside the shelter from the roof and raindrops landed on her pretty red dress. “Nothing, Mione,” Ron said. “I don’t know what they’re talking about.”

You scoffed.

“Just help me understand one thing, Weasel,” Draco – falsely encouraged by your reaction – began again.

“Draco, don’t!”

“Is this about the fact that she’s with me now or because you’re still in love with her?”

Lightning struck again.

“Draco!”, you gasped and so did Hermione.

“Okay, shut the fuck up now, Malfoy!”, Harry finally chimed in. “Let’s go!”

“No, no no,” Hermione muttered. You hardly understood her over the storm. “Wait, I don’t get it.” She raised her hands. “Ron, what’s going on?”

“Hermione …”, you began and even Ginny, who had been quite until now, started talking. More voices mixed in together – Harry and Draco cursing at each other, Ron trying to get Hermione to listen to him.

“QUIET!”

Silence. Immediate silence followed her scream. Hermione took a deep breath. “Quiet now!”, she repeated herself. “Everyone, please.” She turned to Ron, her voice surprisingly calm and collected again: “You’ve been acting weird around Y/N for months now. Don’t think I didn’t notice. What’s going on?”

More silence.

“Ron.”

“I … we …”, he stammered. Your heart sunk.

“Oh god,” the muggle expression slipped out of her mouth. Tears began to form in her eyes.

“Mione …”, Ron began.

“You weren’t together,” you quickly said, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference now. Yet, you had to try. “It happened over the summer when you were … on a break. He ended it because he loves you and wanted to get back with you.”

Ron nodded violently. “Yes, yes, Mione, I love you so much!”

“You lied to me for so many months? Both of you?” The look of betrayal in her eyes broke you.

There it was. The lie you had carried with you for months now. It was all out in the open. You had often wondered if the guilt would vanish once the truth would be out. Now you found out that it didn’t. No, in fact it felt even worse. You lied to your best friend, a person who’d take an Unforgivable Curse for you.

And it wasn’t the only lie you told her.

“I’m so sorry …”, you whispered.

“She didn’t want to unnecessarily hurt you! That’s why she didn’t say anything! It meant nothing!”, Ginny suddenly said. Harry’s eyes widened.

“You knew?”, Hermione croaked.

Ginny opened her mouth, then closed it again and looked down to her feet.

“Oh god, oh god …”

“Mione …”, Ron took a step towards her into the rain and wanted to grab her hand.

“No, I … no,” she shook her head, not looking at any of you. “I need … I need space.” She pushed his hands away and turned around. Hermione hurried back inside, almost tripping about her dress twice.

“Mione …”, Ron cried after her.

“Don’t.” That was Harry. “Give her some time.”

For a while, no one said anything. An awkward silence settled between the five of you. Finally, Ron cursed and left as well.

“Why was I the only one who didn’t know about this?”, Harry looked at Ginny.

“Because you’re oblivious to everything and everyone around you,” she replied.

He raised his eyebrows, knowing she was probably right. “Not cool though, guys. Not cool.”

Ginny sighed and turned to you. “You have to fix this.”

You nodded. “I know.”

Another sigh left her lips, then she took Harrys hand and both of them made their way back inside the castle.

There were no sounds except for the howling of the wind and the thunder in the distance. You kept your eyes locked on the door as if you expected Hermione to come back outside any minute now. After a while, a shiver ran down your spine. When you felt Draco putting his jacket over your shoulders, your head snapped in his direction.

“Why the fuck did you say that?!”

He furrowed his brows. “Y/N …”

“Answer me!”

He sighed. “Someone had to say it eventually and –”

“Yes,” you interrupted him. “Someone. Not you! That wasn’t your place.”

“Her own boyfriend lied to her for months now!”

“As if you give a single fuck about her feelings, Draco!”, you fumed. “Stop pretending this was about anything over than your sick need to make yourself feel superior to everyone around you!” You pulled the jacket from your shoulders and threw it at him. “By Merlin, you’re still the same fucking jerk from third grade, aren’t you, Malfoy?!”

***

When you heard the footsteps on the stairs, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Fucking hell, why did he have to care so much?

About an hour had passed since you stormed away from Draco, right after insulting him. You had wandered through Hogwarts – dodging annoying ghosts and Filch until you finally hid up here on the Astronomy Tower.

You wanted to talk to Hermione. Wanted to clear the air and apologize. You never meant to hurt her … not that this excused your behavior at all. However, you knew that she wouldn’t want to see you tonight. She needed time to cool down and you wanted to give that to her. Besides, you were way too upset yourself for any kind of productive talk.

“How did you find me here?”, you asked him.

“I searched all of your usual spots,” Draco replied and sat down next to you. “You’ll freeze to death up here.” He was right. The wind on the Astronomy Tower blew relentlessly. He pulled his wand from his jacket and mumbled a spell. Warmth spread around the two of you, trying to soften your cold and stiffened muscles.

“You shouldn’t have come,” you mumbled. “You hate it up here.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“You never want to come here.”

Draco shrugged. “I used to come here quite often. Grew tired of it eventually, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence as both you watched the dark clouds in the night sky.

“I’m sorry,” Draco finally said.

You remained still.

“It wasn’t my place. I just wanted …”, he stopped himself. “I’m sorry.”

You glanced at him. He stared at the wand in his hand.

“You’re not a jerk,” you admitted. “Sorry for that.”

When you insulted him, it came from a place of misdirected anger. He wasn’t the responsible one for Hermiones pain. That was you.

“I am though.”

You chuckled. “Maybe. But you’re not the same jerk from the third grade.”

A small smile appeared on his face. You scooted closer to him and leaned against his body. Draco put an arm around you and together, you watched the storm.

***

A/N: A lot happened in this chapter :D Looking forward to your thoughts on it! Thank you for reading! <3

CHAPTER 19

Choose Me Instead Masterlist Harry Potter Masterlist

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