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#pride month: gender critical edition
nix-that-rad-lass · 11 months
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🌈Happy Pride Month🌈
🌸To the lesbians told they are transphobic for refusing biological males
🌸To the lesbians hiding their true orientation for fear of discrimination from the same movement claiming to support them
🌸To the lesbians who wonder if maybe it would be easier to identify out of it and pretend they are a man in a woman’s body
🌸To all the lesbians feeling left behind by mainstream pride
🌈Happy pride month🌈
🌻To the gay men called transphobic for refusing biological females
🌻To the gay men who hide their true selves to appease their peers idea of how they ought to be
🌻To the gay men who wonder if maybe they should give in and try to change yet again
🌻To all the gay men feeling left behind by the mainstream pride
🌈Happy pride month🌈
🌺To the bisexuals who are told they are transphobic for refusing someone that believes in outdated gender roles as an identity
🌺To the bisexuals told they aren’t gay enough to be LGB and aren’t straight enough to be “normal”
🌺To the bisexuals who feel like they don’t fit and are always having to change and hide bits and pieces of themselves to be accepted
🌺To all the bisexuals feeling left behind by the mainstream pride
🌈Happy pride month🌈
🌼To the dysphoric people told their bodies are wrong and should be medically harmed
🌼To the dysphoric women and girls seeking to escape the trauma of sexism and misogyny
🌼To the dysphoric men seeking to escape the trauma and toxicity that seems to infest most masculinity
🌼To all the dysphoric people feeling left behind by the mainstream pride
🌈Happy pride month🌈
💐To all the people whose identities aren’t just an identity, but a part of them, a biological reality
💐To all the people who reject ‘queer’ because same sex attraction and dysphoria are not strange or weird
💐To all the people told to follow a political movement that claims to support them despite actions showing otherwise
💐To all the people left harmed by the medical industry as it preys upon individuals with dysphoria or those struggling to come to terms with their sexuality
💐To all the people told that their desire for simple acceptance and normalcy is politically incorrect
🌈Here’s to a pride month for everyone, and a hope for a better future for all- regardless of ones orientation, presentation, or politics🌈
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coochiequeens · 2 years
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A woman wrote slogans in chalk. 
Last week, chalk writing reading ““#What is a girl?, #LGB, #NoPride,” and “#What is a Woman?” was discovered outside several Madison businesses. The chalking occurred on the first day of June – the start of Pride month. 
The chalking was done by Mary Jo Walters, who made headlines last year when she withdrew her candidacy for a place on the Madison Metropolitan School District Board of Education. She gave up the race after making a Facebook post in which she referred to herself as “trans-a-phobic.”
Walters says some of the chalked hashtags refer to a recently-released documentary.
“When it comes to writing ‘what is a woman?’, I did that because it was the first day of pride and it also was the release of the movie What is a Woman? So that’s why I used that hashtag,” Mary Jo said.
The film purports to feature interviews on the topic of womanhood. Produced by far right news outlet The Daily Wire, it features selectively edited interviews with trans activists and academics.
News outlet LGBTQ Nation called the documentary “propaganda” and “full of transphobic lies,” and said that it portrays the concept of gender transition as “threatening [to] the Western Christian way of life.”
The film features conservative commentator Matt Walsh, who identifies himself as a “Theocratic Fascist” in his Twitter bio, and has come under fire for allegedly using images of minors without their permission in the film. Walsh has also been criticized for calling the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse “malicious prosecution,” and for promoting white supremacist “replacement theory.”
I also asked Mary Jo about what she was trying to accomplish politically.
“I’m boycotting Youtube right now because they had a queer ad – an ad about queers at the beginning of the video I wanted to watch. I don’t want to hear about queers before I’m about to watch a video! Ban! I don’t want to hear about ‘queer,’ I don’t want to hear about ‘trans.’ I’m done, I don’t want to hear about it.”
She went on to describe her belief that transgender pride is a conspiracy to indoctrinate children:
“MJW: Why aren’t we making a ban on anything that could be affecting those girls? Because it’s a hemorrhage, and it needs a tourniquet, and the ban is a tourniquet.
AB: do you see the art you did on the sidewalks as a way of accomplishing that?
MJW: Absolutely.”
Fiddlesticks Knits is a queer and woman owned yarn and fiber store on Atwood Avenue. The store, which opened last summer during the pandemic, prides itself on inclusion, accessibility, and sustainably-made items. 
Fiddlesticks was one of several businesses that had these messages chalked outside its shop. 
After finding the chalk, and washing it away, owner Erica Hainz organized what she referred to as a “counter-protest” later in the day. That afternoon, members and allies of Madison’s queer community wrote positive, pro-queer messages down the block:
“It was really good this time to have a really clear way to direct people to be like ‘here’s where you should put your energy, here’s how we can right this wrong and get people out here to show that there are so many more people in this community that want to be inclusive and support and love the trans people of this community, the queer people of this community, and to replace that transphobic nonsense with affirming things, reclaiming the space. It’s really lovely,” Erica said.
In February, Fiddlesticks also had its Progress Flag torn down. The Progress Flag is a rainbow pride flag which incorporates a design symbolizing the trans community.
“Our flag was ripped down. They actually left the flag on the doorstep, but they bent the pole badly enough that we had to replace it. That one was very jarring and disillusioning in a way. It was just so bizarre walking up to my storefront and seeing that someone had done something,” Erica said.
Mary Jo denies being involved in this incident. 
Amanda Haynes – no relation to Erica Hainz – is the president of the Madison Knitters’ Guild. When I talked to her about the chalking, here’s what she said:
“The Madison Knitters’ Guild stands in solidarity of Fiddlesticks Knits and the LGBT+ community. We are committed to making the knitting community in Madison and beyond safe and inclusive for all. There is absolutely no place here for behavior and language that degrades any neighbor in our community,” Amanda said.
These events take place against a national backdrop of rising anti-LGBTQ+ hate incidents. 2021 was the deadliest year for transgender and gender-nonconforming people on record, with trans people of color being especially likely to be targets of violence.
Image courtesy of Erica Hainz.
Granted Mary Jo Walters sounds a little extra but what it comes down to is she wrote slogans in chalk, a medium that can be destroyed in a few minutes with a hose.
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Samuel Fosso Week 1
Samuel Fosso grew up Bangui. ''On our street, there was a studio photographer who I began to spend time with. I asked him to teach me photography. I spent five months as an apprentice, after which I wanted to have my own studio''. He would work here before he eventa.ly got his own studio. Here he would earn money to go back and forth to Nigeria to visit family. While on a visit to Nigeria he discovered his first pair of platform boots. When returning back to Bangui, he paired his boots a pair of bell bottom pants. I think this gave his a sense of pride and it also gave his more confidence. Being a child who wasn't photographed much as a child being able to dress up and pose for the camera seemed invigorating to him. I thought that was really inspirational because even though his mother didn't like taking photos of him, he never let that stop him.
It almost seemed that Samuel Fosso photography was almost famous before he was, as many people had already seen his work before he got europe. "For the first edition of the Biennale, emissaries were sent all over Africa to find photographers. There was a French photographer, Bernard Descamps, who discovered my work while visiting Bangui and invited me to participate in this exhibition. By him being discovered I think this gave him an added advantage. From here he was doing workshops and exhibitions. This also helped him discover more photographers from africa as, he know any before leaving for europe.
I think his work is very powerful as with himself being the subject he could work and give himself direction. And how he was so open to learn and receive ideas and criticism help with his journey.
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softredribbon-kins · 3 years
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Hello !
Welcome to the blog !
All info will be under
the cut ! 💛 🌸
Please read before requesting ! 🌸
Check out my fun lil pronouns page !
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I’m also @dokidokilc-aesthetics !
🌸 What I Do !
- Moodboards
- Stimboards
- Icons (Regular, Pride + Matching)
• I only do square shaped icons
- Character Color-Dropped Pride Flags
- DNI Banners
* Please remember to be specific with all of these ! *
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🌸 Rules !
- Please say the character and the source they’re from ! It’s helpful for me !
- Please be patient ! I promise I’ll get to your request soon enough !
- I have the right to refuse/delete requests !
- I would appreciate credit if you repost or use my edits please !
- This is a kin based blog, so please tell me if you don’t want the kin tags on your request ! Otherwise I will put them automatically ! (You are allowed to request even if it isn’t a kin !)
- You can request sources that aren’t listed, it’s just more unlikely I’ll do them !
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🌸 Sources !
(Ones in bold are selective)
* Ace Attorney (All Games)
* Amphibia
* Any Type of RPG Horror Game
* Arcane
* Bandori (Bang Dream)
* Bee and Puppycat
* Bluey
* Card Captor Sakura
* Catherine: Full Body
* Chainsaw Man
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* D4DJ
* Danganronpa (All Games)
* Date A Live
* Dead By Daylight
* Deltarune
* Dislyte
* Doki Doki Literature Club
* Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (YT Series + TV Show)
* ENA
* Faith: The Unholy Trinity
* Five Nights at Freddy’s (All Games)
* Genshin Impact
* Gravity Falls
* Haikyuu!!
* Helltaker
* Higurashi No Naku Koro ni (Higurashi: When They Cry)
* Honkai: Star Rail
* HuniePop
* I Love Amy
* Kakegurui/Kakegurui Twin
* Komi-San Wa Komyushou Desu (Komi Can’t Communicate)
* Life Is Strange (All Games)
* Little Witch Academia
* Metal Family
* Monster High/Rainbow High/OMG Dolls/Lalaloopsy/Ever After High
* Monster Prom/Camp
* Moomins/Moominvalley
* My Singing Monsters
* NANA
* Needy Streamer Overload
* Obey Me!
* Oshi No Ko
* Overwatch
* Pretty Cure (Precure)
* Project Sekai
* Puella Magi Madoka Magica
* Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
* Regular Show
* Resident Evil (All Games)
* Revue Starlight
* Saiki K (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K)
* Sailor Moon
* Silent Hill (1-4)
* Sk8: The Infinity
* Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise
* Soul Eater
* Splatoon (All Games)
* Spooky Month
* Spy X Family
* Strawberry Shortcake Series
* Sucker for Love: First Date
* Talentless Nana
* The Amazing Digital Circus
* The Bad Guys
* The Last Of Us (Game + TV Show)
* The Quintessential Quintuplets
* Turning Red
* Twisted Wonderland
* Vanitas No Carte (The Case Study of Vanitas)
* Vocaloid/Utauloid
* Welcome Home Puppet Show
* Wonder Egg Priority
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🌸 DNI !
- Basic DNI Criteria
- LGBT-Phobic
- Zoophiles
- Terf/Radfem/Trans Exclusionists
- Gender Skeptic/Critical
- MAP/NOMAP/Pedo
- Proship/Proshipper + supporters/neutral on it
- Aro/Ace exclusionists
- Proana/any pro ED
- Fact Kin
- Anti Neopronouns + Xenogenders
- Ship IRL people
- Anti-Agere/Sexualize Agere
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🌸 Tags !
🌸 Your happiness is really important to me, you know! • request accepted
🌸 Ehehe, sorry… • request denied
🌸 Ready to walk home? • chatting
🌸 Don’t let me distract you from having fun with everyone! • promo
🌸 Cupcakes speak to my creative tummy~ • for me
🌸 You know I wouldn't lie to you, never ever! • questions
🌸 *icons, *pride icons, *moodboard, *stimboard, *chara flag, *dni banner
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🌸 Credits !
Blog where I get dividers from !
Strawberrycore Sayori Reply Icons
Halloween Sayori Reply Icons
Soft Pink Strawberry Sayori Reply Icons
Strawberry Themed Sayori Layouts
Halloween Sayori Icon
Pink Sayori DNI Banner with Strawberries
Strawberry Sayori Icon
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scims-stuff · 3 years
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right ik that this is a tma/mechs acc and so i don’t really talk abt cr on here but there’s a few problems i’ve been seeing in the fandom after the finale, and i wanna address them
SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN 2 EP 141
To preface this: I am a gay trans man, keep that in mind because I think that it provides perspective for a few things I’m about to say. Also I am not going to address any of the gripes people may have with white people playing woc or any stereotypes Beau may fall into because I’m white and not a lesbian, so it is not my place to have a huge opinion on it.
1) Matt confirming on twitter that some npcs are trans is fine
It is not always appropriate or necessary to outright mention someone is trans if it is not directly relevant to their life or how we view the character. Stealth trans people exist irl, and it’s weird to describe someone as trans (unless the pcs knew the person prior to their intro) as it implies that trans people are inherently different (in terms of gender) than cis people (why would you specify someone is trans but never do that with cis characters?).
For example: Yussa is described as looking old, even for an elf. Putting him at definitely over 500 years old. He most likely transitioned magically hundreds of years before he met the nien, there would be no reason to bring it up. Also, he is shown to be a reserved person, it would be out of character for him to tell them anyway.
To me it’s technically not dumbledoring them. Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald was technically relevant to the plot/his character in the main series, what’s in an npcs pants isn’t.
Also I don’t want to see any comparison with Brennan Lee Mulligan, dimesion 20 and critical role are very different, with different moods, expectations, and most likely ways of transitioning. They may have hrt in modern New York, but they probably rely on magic a bit more in Xandria.
I admit, it may not be the best rep out there, but I think it’s good there wasn’t any transphobia or coming out story lines because they’re usually not handled the best by cis creators.
Trans people feel free continue a respectful conversation about this with me, cis people I don’t care.
2) Please god chill it with how shadowgast ended up
Not all relationships need a dramatic love confession. The way Liam implied that Essek and Caleb were romantically involved at one point but ended up as friends (both due to lifespan and, personal headcanon here, maybe a lack of romantic compatibility) was perfectly clear. This is why we pay attention in literature class.
They both care for each other in a unique and deep way but that doesn’t mean it has to end in romance, there’s a value in deep platonic love. Also, at one point Essek did say that he wasn’t really interested in romance at all.
Additionally, it was an epilogue scene so Liam would want to focus on the important stuff to do with Caleb’s character (burning the time travel room and visiting his parents graves), because, surprise, Caleb is more than who he cares for romantically and he is still bi no matter who he ends up with.
Remember y’all, it’s pride month, Liam and Matt may not see your posts complaining about the lack of gratuitous romance and the fact that Caleb was apparently not good bi rep because he didn’t end up with anyone, but your bi and aro friends and followers will.
3) THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME WE ARE GONNA SEE THE MIGHTY NEIN
Although I was definitely not in the fandom when they were released, we have 5 canon Vox Machina one shots.
Considering how much the fandom has grown since then, we are very likely to get the same amount, if not more.
So just hold it with the “we never got [insert thing here]” for a bit. I’m personally a bit sad they never got the basilisk oil for Pumat, but hey that’s a good oneshot idea.
In conclusion- chill
EDIT: Essek is canonically demi
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arllenn · 3 years
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Image des. - “(if there was an exact copy like this, im so sorry- i sent it again to make sure it was sent) Ooh, more fics like this for Dragon Raja! I don't exactly have a really detailed request, but could I have the MC coming out as trans to any character(s) of your choice? Having some fluff like that would soothe the soul.”
Luminous - definition of supportive, he definitely definitely stops the others from buying the cringey pride merch from places like Walmart and is undoubtedly the one who , despite being a coward, would pick a fight with anyone who was being transphobic or rude about your identity. Buys you the worst pride merch he can find ironically. and sits with you while he edits your mii on his wii letting you pick everything
Caesar - was going to buy you the cringe pride merch before being stopped by Nono and luminous. Definitely like one of those parents who gets it but is overly supportive in the “aw that’s sweet but please stop buying me everything you see with the trans pride flag on it” bought you a whole new wardrobe with Nono afterwards and has absolutely punched someone who misgendered you. He also definitely and I take 0 criticism on this used his power as president of the student union to make a Lgbtq+ club as well as making pride month a much bigger deal at Cassell
Johann - supportive but more focused on the fact that after you came out you’ve been less pensive and nervous during your sparring sessions. The mans mind may be focused on fighting but he’s still a good friend don’t doubt it, Nono and Luminous thought that he wouldn’t buy the cringe merch and they were semi right, he definitely almost bought something before just settling on a pride flag. Has definitely fought ppl who were bad mouthing you and hasn’t slipped up with your pronouns sense you told him them.
Nono - she’s your bestie and you coming out changes nothing but the frequency of you twos shopping trips. Nono helped Caesar pick out your new wardrobe but also takes you out shopping more often after that buying anything you look at for a second too long. Just wants you to feel happy, safe, comfortable and at peace. She almost cut a chunk out of Caesar’s hair after she saw the hideous vans he had bought you from the pride section of *insert store here* Nono is the type to use the wrong pronouns for someone else when they misgender you on purpose until you explain to her why that’s harmful even if she means well.
Chisei - He may be from a conservative family but it’s also the 21st century and as long as you can hold your own in battle he doesn’t care what you are. Anonymously received a high quality piece of clothing from an ethical brand owned by another trans person with the receipt still in the box blatantly listing Chisei as the buyer then you didn’t do anything other than wear it the next time he came by.
Finger - stumbles over your pronouns a few time before he gets it, changes every article that refers to you with the wrong pronouns to the right ones and also helps you with getting a new ID and profile from the college. Also ironically buys you the worst pride merch that he can find no matter what. He instantly corrects anyone who misgenders you and keeps the transphobes away using his info network and telling you who to steer clear of.
Chime - Supportive, doesn’t buy you cringe merch, let’s you rant to him when you feel awful due to your gender dysphoria. Helps you find a clinic to get your hormones from. Helps you style your hair and do your makeup in a way that makes you the most comfortable. All around a nice caring friend.
Ruri - Probably doesn’t care the man has murder on his mind always. Though he definitely uses the right pronouns with you and is extra rough with people who don’t or refuse to.
Zero - she’s been your best friend sense forever and lets you know that she loves you for you. Makes you a new version of your clothes from the orphanage in the design that you want, she loves you no matter what and is super supportive. Helping you get through everything and let’s you rant to her about anything and everything.
Erii - considering the fact that she has been locked up all her life I doubt she gets the concept without you explaining it to her, after that she’s definitely on board. She probably doesn’t act any different around you other than referring to you as what you wish to be referred to as. Has told her older brothers about anyone who was transphobic to you and they were “dealt” with quickly.
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ucflibrary · 3 years
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Pride Month has arrived!
While every day is a time to be proud of your identity and orientation, June is that extra special time for boldly celebrating with and for the LGBTQIA+ community (yes, there are more than lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folx in the queer community). June was chosen to honor the Stonewall Riots which happened in 1969. Like other celebratory months, LGBT Pride Month started as a weeklong series of events and expanded into a full month of festivities.
2021 is also the 5th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando where 49 members of our community were murdered on June 12, 2016. On the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library there will be display cases with items from the University Archives relating to Pulse memorials as well as a display wall honoring the lives lost. Both of these library memorials were created in partnership with UCF LGBTQ Services. UCF will also be hosting several events in June to help the community remember, grieve and grow stronger. Full listing of events is available on the Pulse Remembrance event calendar.
Additional Pulse memorial events will be hosted by the onePULSE Foundation.  An memorial archival collection from the first anniversary of the shooting can be found as part of the Resilience: Remembering Pulse in the STARS Citizen Curator collection.
In honor of Pride Month, UCF Library faculty and staff suggested books from the UCF collection that represent a wide array of queer authors and characters. Click on the read more link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.
All Adults Here by Emma Straub Emma Straub's unique alchemy of wisdom, humor, and insight come together in a deeply satisfying story about adult siblings, aging parents, high school boyfriends, middle school mean girls, the lifelong effects of birth order, and all the other things that follow us into adulthood, whether we like them to or not. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks & Kevin Carr O'Leary A gripping and triumphant tale of human compassion, is the true story of Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, who finds herself driven to the forefront of the AIDS crisis, and becoming a pivotal activist in America’s fight against AIDS. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 And the Band Played On: politics, people and the AIDS epidemic by Randy Shilts An international bestseller, a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, and made into a critically acclaimed movie, Shilts' expose revealed why AIDS was allowed to spread unchecked during the early 80's while the most trusted institutions ignored or denied the threat. One of the few true modern classics, it changed and framed how AIDS was discussed in the following years. Suggested by Becky Hammond, Special Collections & University Archives
 Big Gay Adventures in Education: supporting LGBT+ visibility and inclusion in schools edited by Daniel Tomlinson-Gray A collection of true stories by 'out' teachers, and students of 'out' teachers, all about their experiences in schools. The book aims to empower LGBT+ teachers to be the role models they needed when they were in school and help all teachers and school leaders to promote LGBT+ visibility and inclusion. Each story is accompanied by an editor’s note reflecting on the contributor’s experience and the practical implications for schools and teachers in supporting LGBT+ young people and ensuring they feel safe and included in their school communities. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services
 Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman The sudden and powerful attraction between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parents' house on the Italian Riviera has a profound and lasting influence that will mark them both for a lifetime. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
 Fun Home: a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian house, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned 'fun home, ' as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive. Suggested by Michael Furlong, UCF Connect Libraries
 Gender Queer: a memoir by Maia Kobabe; colors by Phoebe Kobabe In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, this is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 Heaven's Coast: a memoir by Mark Doty The harmonious partnership of two gay men is shattered when they learn that one has tested positive for the HIV virus. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Born on Water Island in the Virgin Islands during a hurricane, which is considered bad luck, twelve-year-old Caroline falls in love with another girl--and together they set out in a hurricane to find Caroline's missing mother. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
 Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell All Freddy Riley wants is for Laura Dean to stop breaking up with her. The day they got together was the best one of Freddy's life, but nothing's made sense since. Laura Dean is popular, funny, and SO CUTE ... but she can be really thoughtless, even mean. Their on-again, off-again relationship has Freddy's head spinning - and Freddy's friends can't understand why she keeps going back. When Freddy consults the services of a local mystic, the mysterious Seek-Her, she isn't thrilled with the advice she receives. But something's got to give: Freddy's heart is breaking in slow motion, and she may be about to lose her very best friend as well as her last shred of self-respect. Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell bring to life a sweet and spirited tale of young love that asks us to consider what happens when we ditch the toxic relationships we crave to embrace the heathy ones we need. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 LGBT Health: meeting the needs of gender and sexual minorities edited by K. Bryant Smalley, Jacob C. Warren, K. Nikki Barefoot A first-of-its-kind, comprehensive view of mental, medical, and public health conditions within the LGBT community. This book examines the health outcomes and risk factors that gender and sexual minority groups face while simultaneously providing evidence-based clinical recommendations and resources for meeting their health needs. Drawing from leading scholars and practitioners of LGBT health, this holistic, centralized text synthesizes epidemiologic, medical, psychological, sociological, and public health research related to the origins of, current state of, and ways to improve LGBT health. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
 Lived Experience: reflections on LGBTQ life by Delphine Diallo  A beautiful series of full-color portraits of LGBTQ people over the age of fifty, accompanied by interviews. Suggested by Jacqui Johnson, Cataloging
 Love is for Losers by Wibke Bruggemann When Phoebe's mother ditches her to work as a doctor for an international human rights organization, she is stuck living with her mom's best friend, Kate, and helping out at Kate's thrift shop. There she meet Emma. Phoebe tries to shield her head and her heart from experiencing love-- after all, love is for losers, right? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Man Into Woman: an authentic record of a change of sex edited by Niels Hoyer This riveting account of the transformation of the Danish painter Einar Wegener into Lili Elbe is a remarkable journey from man to woman. Einar Wegener was a leading artist in late 1920's Paris. One day his wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman to model for a portrait. It was a shattering event which began a struggle between his public male persona and emergent female self, Lili. Einar was forced into living a double life; enjoying a secret hedonist life as Lili, with Grete and a few trusted friends, whilst suffering in public as Einar, driven to despair and almost to suicide. Doctors, unable to understand his condition, dismissed him as hysterical. Lili eventually forced Einar to face the truth of his being - he was, in fact, a woman. This bizarre situation took an extraordinary turn when it was discovered that his body contained primitive female sex organs. There followed a series of dangerous experimental operations and a confrontation with the conventions of the age until Lili was eventually liberated from Einar - a freedom that carried the ultimate price. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born -- a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam -- and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 Queer Objects edited by Chris Brickell & Judith Collard Queer lives give rise to a vast array of objects: the things we fill our houses with, the gifts we share with our friends, the commodities we consume at work and at play, the clothes and accessories we wear, various reminders of state power, as well as the analogue and digital technologies we use to communicate with one another. But what makes an object queer? 63 chapters consider this question in relation to lesbian, gay and transgender communities across time, cultures and space. In this unique international collaboration, well-known and newer writers traverse world history to write about items ranging from ancient Egyptian tomb paintings and Roman artefacts to political placards, snapshots, sex toys and the smartphone. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services
 Real Life by Brandon Taylor A novel of rare emotional power that excavates the social intricacies of a late-summer weekend -- and a lifetime of buried pain. Almost everything about Wallace, an introverted African-American transplant from Alabama, is at odds with the lakeside Midwestern university town where he is working toward a biochem degree. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends -- some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a young straight man, conspire to fracture his defenses, while revealing hidden currents of resentment and desire that threaten the equilibrium of their community. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 Riley Can’t Stop Crying by Stephanie Boulay While his sister tries everything to help, a young boy isn't sure why he can't stop crying in this transitional picture book. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Supporting Success for LGBTQ+ Students: tools for inclusive campus practice by Cindy Ann Kilgo This book aims to serve as a one-stop resource for faculty and staff in higher education settings who are seeking to enhance their campus climate and systems of support for LGBTQ+ student success. Included are theoretical frameworks and conceptual models that can be used in practice. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services
 The City and the Pillar: a novel by Gore Vidal Jim, a handsome, all-American athlete, has always been shy around girls. But when he and his best friend, Bob, partake in “awful kid stuff,” the experience forms Jim’s ideal of spiritual completion. Defying his parents’ expectations, Jim strikes out on his own, hoping to find Bob and rekindle their amorous friendship. Along the way he struggles with what he feels is his unique bond with Bob and with his persistent attraction to other men. Upon finally encountering Bob years later, the force of his hopes for a life together leads to a devastating climax. The first novel of its kind to appear on the American literary landscape, this remains a forthright and uncompromising portrayal of sexual relationships between men. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 The Invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services
 The New Testament by Jericho Brown The world of Jericho Brown's second book, disease runs through the body, violence runs through the neighborhood, memories run through the mind, trauma runs through generations. Almost eerily quiet in even the bluntest of poems, Brown gives us the ache of a throat that has yet to say the hardest thing-and the truth is coming on fast. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library
 The Prophets by Robert Jones With a lyricism reminiscent of Toni Morrison, Robert Jones, Jr., fiercely summons the voices of slaver and enslaved alike, from Isaiah and Samuel to the calculating slave master to the long line of women that surround them, women who have carried the soul of the plantation on their shoulders. As tensions build and the weight of centuries—of ancestors and future generations to come—culminates in a climactic reckoning, masterfully reveals the pain and suffering of inheritance, but is also shot through with hope, beauty, and truth, portraying the enormous, heroic power of love. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library
 The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center
 Tinderbox: the untold story of the Up Stairs Lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic--families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors' needs--revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall. Yet the impassioned activism that followed proved essential to the emergence of a fledgling gay movement. Fieseler restores honor to a forgotten generation of civil-rights martyrs. Suggested by Andy Todd, UCF Connect Libraries
 Transgender: a reference handbook by Aaron Devor and Ardel Haefele-Thomas This book provides a crucial resource for readers who are investigating trans issues. It takes a diverse and historic approach, focusing on more than one idea or one experience of trans identity or trans history. The book takes contemporary as well as historic aspects into consideration. It looks at ancient indigenous cultures that honored third, fourth, and fifth gender identities as well as more contemporary ideas of what "transgender" means. Notably, it focuses not only on Western medical ideas of gender affirmation but on cultural diversity surrounding the topic. This book will primarily serve as a reference guide and jumping off point for further research for those seeking information about what it means to be transgender. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services
 Transnational LGBT Activism: working for sexual rights worldwide by Ryan R. Thoreson Thoreson argues that the idea of LGBT human rights is not predetermined but instead is defined by international activists who establish what and who qualifies for protection. He shows how International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) formed and evolved, who is engaged in this work, how they conceptualize LGBT human rights, and how they have institutionalized their views at the United Nations and elsewhere. After a full year of in-depth research in New York City and Cape Town, South Africa, Thoreson is able to reconstruct IGLHRC’s early campaigns and highlight decisive shifts in the organization’s work from its founding to the present day. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services
 Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Esther is a stowaway. She's hidden herself away in the Librarian's book wagon in an attempt to escape the marriage her father has arranged for her--a marriage to the man who was previously engaged to her best friend. Her best friend who she was in love with. Her best friend who was just executed for possession of resistance propaganda. The future American Southwest is full of bandits, fascists, and queer librarian spies on horseback trying to do the right thing. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections
 Walt Whitman's Songs of Male Intimacy and Love: "Live oak, with moss" and "Calamus" edited by Betsy Erkkila This volume includes Whitman's handwritten manuscript version of the twelve "Live oak, with moss" poems along side with a print transcription of these poems on the opposite page, followed by a facsimile of the original version of the "Calamus" poems published in the 1860-61 edition of Leaves of grass, and a reprint of the final version of the "Calamus" poems in the 1881 edition of Leaves of grass. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation
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I really wish I could say “Happy Pride!” But with everything going on in the world right now, it doesn't feel right. It’s hard to celebrate when so many are out there suffering right now.
As a very loud and proud queer person, and a vocal activist for equal rights, I decided that now was a good time to remind ya’ll that queer rights would not be where they are at all without queer people of color. We can not rightfully celebrate queer pride until people of color can celebrate with us.
As a reminder of that fact, every quote I’ve added to this set(and I added more than usual too) is from a black member of the queer community(with the exception of Sylvia Rivera who was Latinx).
I hope you enjoy this special edition pride month prompt set! As always, feel free to tag me in anything these inspire.
And to all those who are in the midst of the protests and riots, to all my black followers and to everyone who is fighting for their freedom in this time: Stay safe, stay strong, and stay you. If anyone needs anything, you can contact me here on tumblr or on discord @The Alpha Gay #0052.
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June 2020 Prompt Set
1.       Inn
2.       “No Pride for some of us, without Liberation for all of us” -Marsha P. Johnson (Black transgender and queer rights activist)
3.       Cut the red tape
4.       ‘No matter what happens: I’ve got your back. You’re not alone in this’
5.       Revolution
6.       Agenda
7.       “Not Everything that’s faced can be changed, but nothing can change until it’s faced” – James Baldwin (Black writer, social critic and gay activist)
8.       Reflection
9.       It’s like comparing apples to oranges
10.   ‘What they think doesn’t matter, I am gonna keep being me.’
11.   Flag
12.   Unique
13.   “It is in our caring, fighting, and loving that we live forever” -Phil Wilson (Black and gay AIDS/HIV activist)
14.   Pastel
15.   A yellow streak
16.   ‘I can’t promise you a better future, but I can help you work for one.’
17.   Where the grass is greener
18.   “We are a being, a culture of people, and they can’t just override us like that” -Miss Major Griffin-Gracy (Black and transgender rights activist)
19.   One in a blue moon
20.   Visible
21.   “Some of us wear the symbols and badges of our non-conformity” -Gladys Bentley (Black and ‘gender-bending’ entertainer during the Harlem Renaissance, aka ‘Harlem’s most famous lesbian’)
22.   Purple patch
23.   “We have to be visible. We should not be ashamed of who we are. We have to show the world that we are numerous.” -Sylvia Rivera (Latinx transgender and queer rights activist.)
24.   Acceptance
25.   Art
26.   ‘No, I am done being quiet. It’s time my voice got heard’
27.   “You did what you wanted to. Nobody was in the closet. There wasn’t any closet.” – Richard Bruce Nugent (Black Gay writer)
28.   Black Sheep
29.   ‘I refuse to be invisible. I need you to see me.’
30.   Expression
31.   Dream in color
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I’d go so far as to say that the nomination probably saved the site, in fact. For those who need a little background: despite being a small voluntary project the site was nominated for the 2014 Publication of the Year award by Stonewall, the UK’s largest LGBT charity, just nine months after its inception. This was a landmark step in Stonewall’s positive new direction on bi issues. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time Stonewall had specifically nominated a specifically bi publication or organisation for an award. At this point my co-founder, who was taking care of the business side of things, had recently jumped ship and I was seriously considering packing the whole thing in. I won’t lie, I was astonished to read the email.
I’d worked on a publication which won the award under my editorship a few years previously. Unlike Biscuit, however, g3 magazine – at the time one of the two leading print mags for lesbian and bi women in the UK – had an estimated readership of 140,000, had been going for eight years and boasted full-time paid office staff and regular paid freelancers. Biscuit, by contrast, was being dragged along by one weary unpaid editor and a bunch of unpaid writers who understandably, for the most part, couldn’t commit to regularly submitting work.
Little Biscuit’s enormous competition for the award consisted of Buzzfeed, Attitude.co.uk, iNewspaper and Property Week. We didn’t win – that accolade went to iNewspaper – but the nomination was nevertheless, as I say, a huge catalyst to continue with the site. I launched a crowdfunder, which finished way off target. I sold one ad space, for two months. Then nothing. I attempted in vain to recruit a sales manager but nobody wanted to work on commission. Some wonderful writers came and went. There were periods of tumbleweed when I frantically had to fill the site with my own writing, thereby completely defeating the object of providing a platform for a wide range of bi voices.
The Stonewall Award nomination persuaded me to keep going with the site
The departure of the webmaster was another blow. Thankfully by this point I had a co-editor on board – the amazing Libby – so I was persuaded to stick with it. And here we are now. I don’t actually know where the next article is coming from. That’s not a good feeling. But, apart from for Biscuit, I try not to write for free anymore myself, so I understand exactly why that is. As a freelance journo trying to make a living I’ve had to be strict with myself about that. I regularly post on the “Stop Working For Free” Facebook group and often feel a pang of misplaced guilt because I ask my writers to write for free, even though I’m working on the site for free myself, and losing valuable time I could be spending on looking for paid work.
Biscuit hasn’t exactly been a stranger to controversy, in addition to its financial and staffing issues. Its original tagline – “for girls who like girls and boys” – was considered cis-centric by some, leading to accusations that the site had some kind of trans/genderqueer*-phobic agenda. Which was amusing, as at the height of this a) we’d just had two articles about non-binary issues published and b) I was actually engaged to a genderqueer partner, a fact they were clearly unaware of. Now the site is under fire from various pansexual activists who object to the term “bisexual”. To clarify – “girl and boys” was supposed to imply a spectrum and, no, we don’t think “bi” applies only to an attraction to binary folk. The site aims the main part of its content at female-spectrum readers attracted to more than one gender because this group does have specific needs. But there is something here for EVERYONE bisexual. Anyway, it’s a shame all of this gossip was relayed secondhand, and the people in question didn’t think to confront me about it (which at least the pan activists have bothered to do). We damage our community immeasurably with these kinds of Chinese whispers.
Biscuit ed Libby, being amazing
Whilst trying to keep the site afloat, I’ve also been building on the work I started right back when I edited g3, and trying to improve bi visibility in other media outlets. I’ve recently had articles published by Cosmopolitan, SheWired, The F-Word, GayStar News and Women Make Waves and I’m constantly emailing other sites which I’ve not yet written for with bi pitches. Unfortunately, although I am over the moon to be writing for mainstream outlets such as Cosmo about bi issues, it’s been an uphill struggle trying to persuade some editors out there that they have more readers to whom bi-interest stories apply than they might think. It’s an incredibly exhausting and frustrating process.
Libby and I are doing our best with Biscuit. I can’t guarantee that I would be doing anything at all with it if Libby hadn’t arrived on the scene, so once again I would like to mention how fabulous she is. But we desperately need more writers. We need some help with site design and tech issues. We need a hand with the business and sales side of things. We can’t do it without you. And if you know any rich bisexual heiresses who read Biscuit, please do send them our way. 😉
Grant Denkinson’s story
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Grant speaks on a panel chaired by Biscuit’s Lottie at a Bi Visibility Day event
So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in. 

“I’ve been involved with bisexual community organising for a bit over 20 years. Some has been within community: writing for and editing our national newsletter, organising events for bisexuals and helping others with their events by running workshop sessions or offering services such as 1st aid. I’ve spoken to the media about bisexuality and organised bi contingents at LGBT Pride events (sometimes just me in a bi T-shirt!). I’ve helped organise and participated in bi activist weekends and trainings. I’ve help train professionals about bisexuality. I’ve also piped up about bisexuality a lot when organising within wider LGBT and gender and sexuality and relationship diversity umbrellas. I’ve been a supportive bi person on-line and in person for other bi folks. I’ve been out and visibly bi for some time. I’ve helped fund bi activists to meet, publish and travel. I’ve funded advertising for bi events. I’ve set up companies and charities for or including bi people. I’ve personally supported other bi activists.”

What made you get involved?
“
In some ways I was looking for a way to be outside the norm and to make a difference and coming out as bi gave me something to push against. I’ve been less down on myself when feeling attacked. I’ve also found the bi community very welcoming and where I can be myself and so wanted to organise with friends and to give others a similar experience. There weren’t too many others already doing everything better than I could.”
How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?
“There have been great changes for same-sex attracted people legally and socially and these have happened quickly. Bi people have been involved with making that happen and benefit from it. We can also be hidden by gay advances or actively erased. We still have bi people not knowing many or any other local bi people, not seeing other bisexuals in the mainstream or LGT worlds and not knowing or being able to access community things with other bis. We are little represented in books or the media and people don’t know about the books and zines and magazines already available. The internet has made it easy to find like-minded people but also limited privacy and I think is really fragmented and siloed. It is hard to find bisexuals who aren’t women actors, harmful or fucked up men or women in pornography designed for straight men. We have persistent and high quality bi events but they are sparse and small.”
What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?
“I’m fed up of bi things just not happening if I don’t do them. Not everything should be in my style and voice and I shouldn’t be doing it all. I and other activists campaign for bi people to be more OK and don’t take care of ourselves enough while doing so. People are so convinced we don’t exist they don’t bother with a simple search that would find us. We have little resources while having some of the worst outcomes of any group. I don’t want to spend my entire life being the one person who reminds people about bisexuals, including our so-called allies. I’m not impressed with the problem resolution skills in our communities and while we talk about being welcoming I’m not sure we’re very effective at it. I’m fed up with mouthing the very basics and never getting into depth about bi lives and being one who supports but who is not supported. I’m all for lowering barriers but at a certain point if people don’t actively want to do bi community volunteering it won’t happen. Some people are great critics but build little.”
What do you want to say to other activists about this?
“Why are we doing this personally? I’m not sure we know. How long will we hope rather than do? Honestly, are there so few who care? Alternatively should we stop the trying to do bi stuff and either do some self-analysis, be happy to accept being what we are now as a community, chill out and just let stuff happen or give up and go and do something else instead.”
Patrick Richards-Fink’s story
085d4de So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.
“Mostly internet – I am a Label Warrior, a theorist and educator. Here’s how I described it on my blog: “One of the reasons that I am a bisexual activist rather than a more general queer activist is because I see every day people just like me being told they don’t belong. It doesn’t mean I don’t work on the basic issues that we all struggle against — homophobia, heterosexism, classism, out-of-control oligarchy, racism, misogyny, this list in in no particular order and is by no means comprehensive. But I have found that I can be most effective if I focus, work towards understanding the deep issues that drive the problems that affect people who identify the same way that I have ever since I started to understand who I am. I find that I’m not a community organizer type of activist or a storm the capitol with a petition in one hand and a bullhorn in the other activist — I’m much better at poring over studies and writing long wall-o’-text articles and occasionally presenting what I’ve gleaned to groups of students until my voice is so hoarse that I can barely do more than croak.” So internet, and when I was still in school, a lot of on-campus stuff. Now I’m moving into a new phase where my activism is more subtle – I’m working as a therapist, and so my social justice lens informs my treatment, especially of bi and trans people.”
What made you get involved?
“I can’t not be.”
How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?
“I feel like we made a couple strides, and every time that happens the attacks renewed. I hionestly think the constant attempts to divide the bisexual community into ‘good pansexuals’ and ‘bad bisexuals’ and ‘holy no-labels’ is the thing that’s most likely to screw us.”
What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?


“It is literally everywhere I turn – colleges redefining bisexuality on their LGBT Center pages, news articles quoting how ‘Bi=2 and pan=all therefore pan=better’, everybloodywhere I turn I see it every day. The word bi is being taken out of the names of organisations now, by the next group of up-and-comers who haven’t bothered to learn their history and understand that if you erase our past, you take away our present. Celebrities come out as No Label, wtf is that. Don’t they make kids read 1984 anymore? It’s gotten to the point now that even seeing the word pansexual in print triggers me. I’m reaching the point now that if someone really wants to be offended when all I am trying to do is welcome them on board, then I don’t have time for it.”
What do you want to say to other activists about this?
“Stay strong, and don’t give them a goddamned inch. I honestly think that the bi organizations – even, truth be told, the one I am with – are enabling this level of bullshit by attempting to be conciliatory, saying things that end up reinforcing the idea that bi and pan are separate communities. We try to be too careful not to offend anyone. Like the thing about Freddie Mercury. Gay people say ‘He was gay.’ Bi people say ‘Um, begging your pardon, good sirs and madams and gentlefolk of other genders, but Freddie was bi.’ And they respond ‘DON’T GIVE HIM A LABEL HE DIDN’T CLAIM WAAHHH WAAHHH!’ And yet… Freddie Mercury never used the label ‘gay’, but it’s OK when they do it. And he WAS bisexual by any measure you want to use. But we back down. And 2.5% of the bisexual population decides pansexual is a better word, and instead of educating them, we add ‘pan’ to our organisation names and descriptions. Now, this is clearly a dissenting view – I will always be part of a united front where my organization is concerned. But everyone knows how I feel, and I think it’s totally valid to be loyal and in dissent at the same time. Not exactly a typically American viewpoint, but everyone says I’d be a lot more at home in Britain than I am here anyway.”
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Weekend Edition: National Disability Employment Awareness Month, Part 1
October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month (NDEAM) and this October is actually its 75th year. Not only that, but 2020 also marks the 30th anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
To kick off NDEAM, we are highlighting several new disability studies books recently added to the libraries’ collections. 
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Constructing the (M)other : Narratives of Disability, Motherhood, and the Politics of Normal edited by Priya Lang
"Constructing the (M)other is a collection of personal narratives about motherhood in the context of a society in which disability holds a stigmatized position. From multiple vantage points, these autoethnographies reveal how ableist beliefs about disability are institutionally upheld and reified. Collectively, they seek to call attention to a patriarchal surveillance of mothering, challenge the trope of the good mother, and dismantle the constructed hierarchy of acceptable children. The stories contained in this volume are counter-narratives of resistance - they are the devices through which mothers push back. Rejecting notions of the otherness of their children, in these essays, mothers negotiate their identities and claim access to the category of normative motherhood. Readers are likely to experience dissonance, have their assumptions about disability challenged, and find their parameters of normalcy transformed. Conceptually grounded in disability studies and narrative theory, this volume is an invitation to rethink common assumptions about families of children with disabilities. It aims to further a dialogue across academic disciplines and professional practices about the constructed nature of disability. This book is a much needed resource for all professionals who seek to participate in the creating of socially just communities and inclusive schools"-- Provided by publisher 
Disabled Futures : a Framework for Radical Inclusion by Milo W. Obourn "This project reads disability alongside race, gender, and sexuality in order to problematize the roots of the field of disability studies in the experience and writings of white, straight, cis-gendered men. Obourn coins the term ‘racialized disgender, a resistant way of reading dominant representations of disability"-- Provided by publisher
Barriers and Belonging : Personal Narratives of Disability edited by Michelle Jarman, Leila Monaghan, and Alison Quaggin Harkin 
What is the direct impact that disability studies has on the lives of disabled people today? The editors and contributors to this essential anthology, Barriers and Belonging, provide thirty-seven personal narratives that explore what it means to be disabled and why the field of disability studies matters. The editors frame the volume by introducing foundational themes of disability studies. They provide a context of how institutions--including the family, schools, government, and disability peer organizations--shape and transform ideas about disability. They explore how disability informs personal identity, interpersonal and community relationships, and political commitments. In addition, there are heartfelt reflections on living with mobility disabilities, blindness, deafness, pain, autism, psychological disabilities, and other issues. Other essays articulate activist and pride orientations toward disability, demonstrating the importance of reframing traditional narratives of sorrow and medicalization. The critical, self-reflective essays in Barriers and Belonging provide unique insights into the range and complexity of disability experience. Disability and Social Media : Global Perspectives edited by Katie Ellis and Mike Kent
Social media is popularly seen as an important media for people with disability in terms of communication, exchange and activism. These sites potentially increase both employment and leisure opportunities for one of the most traditionally isolated groups in society. However, the offline inaccessible environment has, to a certain degree, been replicated online and particularly in social networking sites. Social media is becoming an increasingly important part of our lives yet the impact on people with disabilities has gone largely unscrutinised. Similarly, while social media and disability are often both observed through a focus on the Western, developed and English-speaking world, different global perspectives are often overlooked. This collection explores the opportunities and challenges social media represents for the social inclusion of people with disabilities from a variety of different global perspectives that include Africa, Arabia and Asia along with European, American and Australasian perspectives and experiences.
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Reflecting on 2020
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The strangest thing about 2020 was how familiar much of it felt: Working from home, extended periods of isolation, weeks and months blending together. To a much lesser degree, those are things I experience each year as a freelancer. And while I suspect it will take awhile before the full extent of the trauma we’ve all lived through this year fully sets in, right now I’m mostly focused on gratitude. I’m grateful for the health of my loved ones. Grateful I already had a work-from-home routine to maintain during the pandemic. And grateful that I was able to quarantine with my family for much of the year—which had its challenges but also its rewards too.
In my 2019 year-end post I wrote about feeling like my career was finally on an upward trajectory after several years of plateauing. This year obviously offered some new wrinkles in that regard. I made significantly less money and felt familiar fears about how sustainable this career actually is. But having less work also gave me more time to focus on the actual craft of writing. I feel like I reached a new level in terms of voice, clarity, and the ability to self-edit. I'm the sort of person who constantly (arguably, obsessively) strives to be better, and it’s rewarding to feel like that hard work is finally slowly starting to pay off.
In addition to devoting my quarantine time to mastering a favorite curry recipe, getting really into the Enneagram, finally learning to French braid hair, and rewatching all of New Girl, I also had some really cool opportunities scattered throughout the year. I interviewed John Barrowman about his surprise return to Doctor Who, which felt like a real milestone for me. I also contributed to the Los Angeles Times’ list of TV shows to binge-watch during quarantine, which appeared both online and in print. And thanks to everything going virtual this year, I was able to attend a press panel for the fifth season of This Is Us, which is the sort of thing I’m not usually able to do as a Chicago-based critic. 
My career is always a juggling act between film and TV, and this year made me appreciate how valuable it is to be able to move seamlessly between both worlds. I took on new TV assignments covering the first season of Stargirl and the second season of The Umbrella Academy, both of which were a blast to write about. And while I didn’t watch quite as many films as I did in my insane catch-up year last year, I did fill in some more major blindspots. I also contributed to The A.V. Club’s list of the best films of 2000 and shared my own ballot over on Letterboxd. Oh, and I set up a Letterboxd this year too!
Elsewhere, I made my debut on Bustle and The Takeout, and ended the year with a Polygon article about “Kind Movies” that pretty much sums up my entire ethos on storytelling. I was also named a Top Critic by Rotten Tomatoes, which was a real honor. But the pride and joy of my career remains my rom-com column, When Romance Met Comedy. I devoted a whopping 49,000 words to analyzing 25 different romantic comedies this year. And I’m really pleased with how the column has grown and with the positive feedback I’ve received.
I have to admit, I sometimes worry that year-end highlight reels like this one can make my life seem easy or glamorous in a way that doesn’t reflect what it’s like to actually live through it. I'm tremendously lucky to get to do what I do, but I also struggle a lot—both with the logistics of this career and with bigger questions about what value it brings to the world. My goal is to approach 2021 with a greater sense of intentionality. I want to be more thoughtful in my career choices, more purposeful in how I use social media, and more active in my activism and politics. I’d also like to do 20 push-ups a day everyday for the whole year, but we’ll see how long that resolution actually lasts.
Finally, on a sadder note, one other defining experience of the year was the loss of my dear internet friend Seb Patrick, who I’ve known for years through the Cinematic Universe podcast. Seb created a wonderfully positive nerd space online, and was a big part of my early quarantine experience thanks to the Avengers watchalongs I did with the CU gang in the spring. I’m so grateful for all the fun pop culture chats we got to have throughout the years, several of which are linked below. Seb is tremendously missed, and there’s a fund for his family here.
As we head into 2021, I’ll leave you with wishes for a Happy New Year and a roundup of all the major writing and podcasts I did in 2020. If you enjoyed my work, you can support me on Kofi or PayPal. Or you can just share some of your favorite pieces with your friends! That really means a lot.
My 15 favorite films of 2020
My 15 favorite TV shows of 2020
Op-eds, Features, and Interviews
Women Pioneered The Film Industry 100 Years Ago. Why Aren’t We Talking About Them? [Bustle]
2020 is the year of the Kind Movie — and it couldn’t have come at a better time [Polygon]
Make a grocery store game plan for stress-free shopping [The Takeout]
What’s Going On: A primer on the call to defund the police [Medium]
Doctor Who’s John Barrowman on the return of Captain Jack Harkness [The A.V. Club]
Episodic TV Coverage
Doctor Who S12
This Is Us S4 and S5
Supergirl S5
Stargirl S1
The Umbrella Academy S2
The Crown S4
NBC’s Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Musical!
When Romance Met Comedy
Is The Ugly Truth the worst romantic comedy ever made?
Working Girl’s message is timeless, even if the hair and the shoulder pads aren’t
You’ve Got Mail and the power of the written (well, typed) word
Love & Basketball was a romantic slam dunk
How did My Big Fat Greek Wedding make so much money?
America eased into the ’60s with the bedroom comedies of Doris Day and Rock Hudson
I can’t stop watching Made Of Honor
Notting Hill brought two rom-com titans together
It’s time to rediscover one of Denzel Washington’s loveliest and most under-seen romances
Something’s Gotta Give is the ultimate quarantine rom-com
20 years ago, But I’m A Cheerleader reclaimed camp for queer women
On its 60th anniversary, Billy Wilder’s The Apartment looks like an indictment of toxic masculinity
The Wedding Planner made rom-com stars out of Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey
After 25 years, Clueless is still our cleverest Jane Austen adaptation
William Shakespeare invented every romantic comedy trope we love today
Edward Norton made his directorial debut by walking a priest, a rabbi, and a Dharma into a Y2K rom-com
The forgotten 1970s romantic comedy that raged against our broken, racist system
His Girl Friday redefined the screwball comedy at 240 words per minute
Before Wonder Woman soared into theaters, the hacky My Super Ex-Girlfriend plummeted to Earth
Dirty Dancing spoke its conscience with its hips
The rise of Practical Magic as a spooky season classic
In a dire decade for the genre, Queen Latifah became a new kind of rom-com star
Years before Elsa and Anna, Tangled reinvigorated the Disney princess tradition
Palm Springs is the definitive 2020 rom-com
Celebrate Christmas with the subversive 1940s rom-com that turned gender roles on their head
The A.V. Club Film & TV Reviews
Netflix’s To All The Boys sequel charms, though not quite as much as the original
The Photograph only occasionally snaps into focus
Jane Austen's Emma gets an oddball, sumptuous, and smart new adaptation
Pete Davidson delivers small-time charms in Big Time Adolescence
Council Of Dads crams a season of schmaltzy storytelling into its premiere
In Belgravia, Downton Abbey’s creator emulates Dickens to limited success
Netflix’s Love Wedding Repeat adds some cringe to the rom-com
Netflix takes another shot at Cyrano de Bergerac with queer love triangle The Half Of It
We Are Freestyle Love Supreme is a feel-good origin story for Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first troupe
Sara Bareilles’ melodic Apple TV+ series Little Voice is still finding itself
Netflix’s sexist rom-com sensation gets a minor upgrade in The Kissing Booth 2
With Howard, Disney+ movingly honors the lyricist who gave the Little Mermaid her voice
The Broken Hearts Gallery tries to find catharsis in heartbreak
Netflix’s ghostly musical series Julie And The Phantoms hits some charming tween high notes
After We Collided slides toward R-rated camp—but not far enough
Holidate is a bawdy start to Netflix’s holiday rom-com slate
Kristen Stewart celebrates the Happiest Season in a pioneering queer Christmas rom-com
Isla Fisher gets her own Enchanted in the Disney Plus fairy tale Godmothered
Podcast Appearances
Debating Doctor Who: “Orphan 55”
It Pod To Be You: The Wedding Singer
Reality Bomb: Defending Doctor Who’s “Closing Time”
The Televerse: Spotlight on Doctor Who Season 12
You Should See The Other Guy: The Ugly Truth
Only Stupid Answers: Stargirl’s season finale
Motherfoclóir: Ireland and the Hollywood Rom-Com
Called in to Nerdette’s Clueless retrospective episode
Cinematic Universe Appearances
Cinematic Universe: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
Cinematic Universe: Birds of Prey
Cinematic Universe: Infinity War watchalong
Cinematic Universe: Endgame watchalong
Cinematic Universe: Terminator 2
Cinematic Universe: Josie and the Pussycats
Cinematic Universe: The Cuppies 2020 (Cuppies of Cuppies)
And here are similar year-end wrap-ups I did in 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.
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chenoehi · 4 years
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My thoughts on Grammys, BTS, and the Academy's supposed 'diversity'.
Can't do 'Keep Reading' on mobile guys so if you don't care about it keep on scrolling.
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The only BTS music I thought might have a slim chance for a nomination was "Boy With Luv (ft. Halsey)" as a pop duo collaboration. That was it. Anything more than that was just wishful thinking.
The Academy (both Grammy and Oscar's) talk about diversity when controversy comes up, they give some Black artists and actors awards, they look like try-hards, and then the next year they repeat history. Each year more men continue to be nominated than women, even in years that women dominated the industry. Each year artists who push boundaries continue to be overlooked or less favored than more traditional artists. Each year recognition continues to be bulk awarded to the most basic artists with the most basic styles with the most basic music, often times the same (mostly white) artists each year. No one get me started on always having to award artists like Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran or Adele each year they make music, despite whether or not what they put out is actually good, original, or better than what they did the year before. I'm not singling them out, but I think they illustrate my point. I will make one exception for Adele because she is a phenomenal singer, although I did not personally believe 25 deserved to sweep; I've been told by fans that Ed Sheeran is a good performer, so I'll give him that but I'll keep my thoughts of his music and the rest of my opinions to myself. But I get tired of artists like these getting nominated every time or almost every time they put music out and then getting awards every time they're nominated, hence sweeping. It gets tiring when the music that frequently-awarded artists put out sucks and they keep raking noms because of who they are.
There is absolutely nothing BTS or any other Asian et al. artists can do to beat that system. None of the criticism in the world has changed it thus far and I don't know that anything ever will. It's a hard institution to tear down. They will use "diverse" artists for ratings by inviting them and having them hand out awards and, in BTS's case, making such a big deal as to even display their Grammy outfits in the museum, and then they will refuse to nominate them.
It's a back handed compliment to non-Western artists. The Academy is saying they're good enough to help win over a predominantly younger and more diverse generation of viewers but they're not good enough to be awarded for their achievements.
What's worse is, the only expectation I had was for the Academy to invite them as performers despite whatever minuscule nomination they might have garnered, because it's been clearly hinted they would attend another Grammys and the Academy would frankly be fools to not have them perform after the shitstorm going on the pop industry rn. If you know anything about the Taylor Swift situation (you may not be able to tell which one because there are always so many) who knows if she will be performing this Grammys, and her medley of her songs was supposedly going to be a highlight; something's always stirring things up so who knows if certain artists don't end up going at all or bow out of performing. Ariana Grande bailed on the 2019 Grammys because the Grammy producer wouldn't let her perform songs she wanted to, and these kinds of disputes happen and artists who are nominated become no-shows. So, the opportunity to invite a group with a huge following, who have already proved to increase ratings, seems like a sure move right?
But BTS can't exactly perform at the Grammys if they're not nominated for a Grammy; I don't see them doing a tribute any time soon either. And if the Academy even dares to invite them at this point for a performance it will be an insult and a transparent ratings grab. BTS may still go to avoid appearing as if their pride has been wounded or just because they want to go regardless. They know better than their fans how it feels to lose, to be discarded, to be overlooked. This is happening to them first and foremost, not us. And if they decide that they will deal with this the same way they dealt with all their other struggles, to push on, perform for their fans, and use the opportunity of exposure for what it's worth, then support them and their decision. I, for one, won't be watching it live regardless of whether they are there. If all the Academy wants is ratings from BTS fans when they are fine with treating them like garbage, they won't get ratings from me.
I fully believe that the Academy is not only discriminatory to non-Western, non-white artists but that failing to nominate BTS for any award at all is out of fear. Fear that their traditional, safe artists will be offended and boycott the awards if they lose out on a nomination, fear that their fanbases will retaliate, but more importantly, fear that BTS or any other gigantic force of a non-Western artist may be a shoe-in for whatever award they are nominated for and potentially sweep if allowed to compete with all other artists. This comes after BTS won Best Group at the Billboard Music Awards this year. Their first time being nominated for a major U.S. award category. It wasn't even a Best New Artist schtick. It was a main category and they were up against established, popular, Western groups like Imagine Dragons and Maroon 5. It comes on the heels of Super M earning number 1 debut album and beginning a successful tour they are on right now. It comes after Blackpink performed at Coachella and toured the country. It comes after NCT 127 and ATEEZ toured the country. Even TXT, a months old group, had successful showcases in major U.S. cities.
The Academy is too racist and xenophobic to acknowledge Asian artists--they always have been and they always will be. The most diversity we'll see is the nomination of Black artists, but still only 2 were nominated for SotY whereas 4 were nominated for RotY. I don't know the exact numbers, but any time I've ever kept up with the awards I don't see very many other diversity groups being represented in nominations either, such as artists with disabilities or LGBT artists who have different gender expressions and identities or sexual orientations that impact their music, performance, and artistry. Halsey's intimate performance at the BBMAs with that female dancer was huge because that's just not something that's really done. Still. And any time it does happen it's a Britney and Madonna moment all over again, it's a fetish to everyone. Progress has been made but it's very minuscule in comparison to the 'diversity' touting approach they've taken.
I'll just leave the words of this morning's Rolling Stone article here:
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So, the Academy selectively extends its diversity goodwill just as they always have. No shade to the artist, but just using this example of Lil Nas X versus BTS, you have a young Black, gay artist who started his career in late 2018. He's nominated for some of top Grammys with a minimal discography--an 18-minute EP. This is groundbreaking, it's great. BTS, a 6-year-old established group of young Korean artists who break nearly every record there is and dominated Western charts this spring, and they continue to chart Billboard and Western streaming platforms. They earn no nominations.
The two artists ironically happen to have a collaboration in the form of Old Seoul Road.
Congrats to Lizzo and Lil Nas X (that's not shade at Billie btw) but this tweet from the New York Times is so unbelievably misguided because the Academy's conception of diversity is like seasoning with mostly salt, a little pepper and no cayenne (hate to use that analogy but am I wrong?):
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I do appreciate that some artists who don't get nominated a lot got nominations, but looking at the list of top awards I just can't imagine how some of those got through. And I listen to a lot of different music and some BTS stans may have know idea who the fuck Bon Iver is and I'm not saying they don't deserve nominations period, but when you look at the list it's just mind boggling how a song like BWL that was listened to and appreciated like a summer anthem would be could not be included in that mess. (Vampire Weekend for Album of the Year, what, who the fuck, is that, they've been around since 2006, that's when I listened to nothing but metal and rock and I don't, know who the fuck this obscure band is? I may have heard of them once eons ago but they apparently made no impression? I'm sorry). I won't go as far as to say BWL was a Western summer anthem because much of the gp still doesn't know them, this is true. But apparently that's never stopped the Academy before. Bonus, anyone remember Bon Iver winning Best New Artist over Katy Perry all those years ago? No, just me? Good times. (Respect to Bon Iver, I'm just making a point that a lesser known artist won that award over a popular artist and the public went "waH?" Bon Iver being nominated for Record and Album of the Year this time honestly has the same effect as before because what is Hey, Ma even. I listen to Indie music so. What it is.)
Anyway. That's my thoughts. Expect nothing and you won't be disappointed is a myth. You will always have room to be disappointed in humanity.
Edit: while I'm at it, a big, massive fuck you to the Academy for never nominating Halsey for Without You.
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pfenniged · 5 years
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Can you explain why Anne Elliot is your favourite Austen heroine?
Surely! (This literally took like, two and half hours of writing and editing. What is my life).
Background:
So, essentially, to get into this analysis, I have to preface this with Persuasion being written in 1817, near the end of Austen’s life and published six months after her death. Really, if you compare the type of satirical protagonists she was writing at the beginning of her career (see Northanger Abbey, which convinced my entire English Literature 2 class in university that Austen was insipid despite being prefaced as a gothic parody), to later, Pride and Prejudice, to Persuasion, I think it really traces the development of Austen as a writer (Austen referred to her in one of her letters as “a heroine who is almost too good for me.”)
Not to say she didn’t have more ‘mature’ protagonists early on; Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility is really my second favourite protagonist from Austen’s works, and she is essentially the one person in the Dashwood household who keeps everything together; without her, the entire operation would fall apart. It’s the reason why she’s the ‘sense’ in the aforementioned title.
But where Anne Elliot differs I think, is that Elinor, despite being the ‘older’ sister, is never really seen as being devoid of prospects in regards to her future and marriage, despite the family falling on hard times. Anne, on the other hand, is actually a marked difference from Austen’s usual protagonists. Whereas her other protagonists are usually concerned with climbing the social ladder of society (or essentially, scorning the playing of this game in society, but still knowing it’s expected of her anyway (See Lizzie Bennet), Anne is from a noble family that due to her father Sir Walter Elliot’s vanity and selfishness, is on its descent down on the social ladder, a caricature of the old, outdated, titled class in a world of new British industry. 
Sir Walter Scott, and the Changing Ideal of The Gentlemen in Society:
This is another place where Jane Austen differs in her characterisation and brings up an important contrast that is lacking in her other work to an extent in terms of her other main heroines: while the other heroines are more concerned with upward mobility through marriage because that is what society has expected of them, Anne Elliot’s father (who’s will dominates her own), is concerned with DOWNWARD mobility. The idea that he will be seen as ‘lesser than’ for allowing his daughter to marry someone she loves. 
The difference is, is where you have CHOICE to an extent in a burgeoning middle class family, even if you were marrying for money, you have that upward mobility. You have opportunities. When your family is so focused on maintaining the facade of an untouchable deity, you are literally frozen into that mold, even if you want to be a part of that changing world and changing model of what should be considered an ‘ideal’ match, or a modern pairing.
While unadvantageous matches are dismissed in other Austen works, it is often due to the person having some fault of character (I.E: Philanderer, drunkard, etc.) that’s obviously not going to change anytime soon, and what someone is, to an extent, able to control. People are able to control whether they cheat on someone or not; people are able to control showing up and embarrassing themselves at social functions if they have an inkling of self-awareness. And these matches are usually rejected outright because of the family’s concern for the daughter’s feelings (See Lizzie and Mr. Collins, for example, even though it would be an advantageous match (-INSERT LADY CATHERINE DE BOURGH QUOTE HERE-)
But the sad thing in Anne’s case, I think, is that it shows the dying breed of noblewomen, who, once they get ‘older,’ have nowhere to go but down socially if they don’t become a ‘spinster’ or completely devoted to their family household and name. These older, more distinguished families during 1817, were slowly and surely becoming more and more obsolete, and I think it’s VERY astute of Austen to recognise that. Men could now make their fortune at sea- they COULD be “new money.” More and more, these noble people who didn’t work and didn’t have a profession besides being a member of the landed gentry, were becoming more and more dated in the movement of England towards mechanisation and the new Victorian age of industry. 
‘Captain Wentworth is the prototype of the ‘new gentleman.’ Maintaining the good manners, consideration, and sensitivity of the older type, Wentworth adds the qualities of gallantry, independence, and bravery that come with being a well- respected Naval officer.
Like Admiral Croft, who allows his wife to drive the carriage alongside him and to help him steer, Captain Wentworth will defer to Anne throughout their marriage. Austen envisions this kind of equal partnership as the ideal marriage.’
Meanwhile Sir Walter does not present this same sort of guidance for the females in his life. He is so self-involved that he fails to make good decisions for the family as a whole; his other two daughters, Elizabeth and Mary, share his vanity and self-importance. While Anne is seen as a direct parallel with her good-natured (dead) mother, she still has to deal with these outdated morals, before coming her true self. She still has to learn to support her own views, even if they are contrary to those in a position of power in her life, and essentially, dominate her day-to-day dealings and her actual character of how she defines herself.
Becoming One’s Self: Learning Self-Assurance and The Positives of ‘Negative’ Qualities:
The one thing I do love about Anne is that she doesn’t have a ‘weakness of character,’ contrary to Wentworth’s bitter words which are clearly directed at her when they first meet again after so long. That’s one thing I usually see (predominantly male) commentators say Anne’s fault is as a female protagonist is as simple as a reading of the title; namely, that she’s too easily persuaded.
However, that’s an overtly simplistic view. Often people directly correlate an individual being persuaded as simply being ‘weak-willed.’ Anne Elliot is anything but. She constantly rebels against the vanity of her father and the stupidity of her sisters, at the same time being aware of the social structure in which they must operate. She is the individual at the beginning of the novel who is dealing directly with money; and while this was at the time often seen as a ‘man’s’ role, it is Anne taking control of getting their family back into good stead and out of debt after her dippy father gets them into debt and remains completely useless throughout the entire procedure except to complain about who they might let the house out to, simply because they ARE ‘new money.’ She IS open to new roles in society, and new conventions. 
This leads directly to the biggest criticism levelled against her at the beginning of the novel: that after being dismissed by Anne, Captain Wentworth basically publicly declares (because #bitteraf) that ‘any woman he marries will have a strong character and independent mind.’
The funny thing is, Anne already has these. She never lacked them. ‘What ‘persuasion’ truly refers to is whether it is better to be firm in one’s convictions or to be open to the suggestions of others.  
‘The conclusion implies that what might be considered Anne’s flaw, her ability to be persuaded by others, is not really a flaw at all. It is left to the reader to agree or disagree with this. ‘
Anne is not stupid in that she is convinced or persuaded by any Joe Schmow who comes along; she considers the opinions of those she respects. She ultimately comes to the right decision in marrying Wentworth later in life, but it’s understandable how a nineteen year old would doubt this decision when advised by those adults around her. It is now that she is older, in considering other people’s opinions, that she is more likely able to come to her decision herself, rather than letting other people’s opinions overweigh her own.
‘Anne is feminine in this way while possessing none of what Austen clearly sees as the negative characteristics of her gender; Anne is neither catty, flighty, nor hysterical. On the contrary, she is level-headed in difficult situations and constant in her affections. Such qualities make her the desirable sister to marry; she is the first choice of Charles Musgrove, Captain Wentworth, and Mr. Elliot.’
Ageism: Austen’s Hinting at an Age-Old Philosophy against the Modern Woman:
At twenty-seven, Anne is literally considered a woman ‘far past her bloom of youth.’ She is constantly surrounded by younger women, both demonstrating interest in her father and in Wentworth. While ageism wasn’t clearly developed as a recognised societal practice in the 19th century, I think it demonstrates, when Jane wrote this so close to her death, and having never married herself, the pressures on women in society even later in life. This is seen more bluntly in the character of Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice, but I think the fact that people constantly remind Anne of something she cannot control could arguably draw parallels to social status and how birth status cannot be controlled, by a more modern reading of the piece. Women cannot control ageing, any more than a man can control being born into a lower class. But while men could continue to marry for upward mobility or money (up to ridiculous ages and with ridiculously younger wives), women don’t have that luxury once they are ‘past their prime,’ even if they also have the avenue of upward mobility through marriage (see Charlotte Lucas again).
Lost Love, aka THEY TOTALLY MIGHT HAVE BONED BUT PROBABLY NOT:
“There could have never been two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was a perpetual estrangement.” 
The best thing about Captain Wentworth and Anne Elliot’s love story is that we already knew they WERE in love; as opposed to all her other stories, which involve individuals arguably falling INTO love rather than HAVING been in love (Looking’ at you, Mansfield Park), Wentworth x Anne Elliot was a THING. They were a hot and HEAVY thing. 
I essentially have nothing to add here except that makes their entire story 10000000x more painful when they clearly still have feelings for one another and have to run in the same social circles.
That is all.
Separate Spheres: AKA LETS ALL HELP EACH OTHER MMKAY AND BE EQUAL PARTNERS IN LOVEEEE:
Lastly, Austen also considers the idea of ‘separate spheres.’
‘The idea of separate spheres was a nineteenth-century doctrine that there are two domains of life: the public and the domestic. Traditionally, the male would be in charge of the public domain (finances, legal matters, etc.) while the female would be in charge of the private domain (running the house, ordering the servants, etc.). 
This novel questions the idea of separate spheres by introducing the Crofts. Presented as an example of a happy, ideal marriage, Admiral and Mrs. Croft share the spheres of their life. Mrs. Croft joins her husband on his ships at sea, and Admiral Croft is happy to help his wife in the chores around the home. They have such a partnership that they even share the task of driving a carriage. Austen, in this novel, challenges the prevailing notion of separate spheres.’
As mentioned before, from the beginning of the novel, as a noblewoman, Anne is already crossing the line of separate spheres by undertaking financial and legal matters since her father is essentially too much of a pussy to do so (this antiquated ideal of gentlemanly qualities). She has already made a discreet step into the public domain by her actions, without ever really truly making a bold statement. 
By the insertion of the Crofts within the narrative, it really foreshadows how this sort of relationship can work as equals, and how such an amalgamation of the spheres should not be looked down upon. It’s a subtly progressive message that none of the other books really deal with (besides perhaps a tad in Sense and Sensibility with Elinor), and I love her all the more for it.  ♥
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redcarpetview · 5 years
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Academy Announces 2019-20 FilmCraft and FilmWatch Grant Recipients
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   LOS ANGELES, CA – The Academy Foundation of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today the 47 recipients of its 2019 FilmCraft and FilmWatch grants.
   “The Academy’s Grants Committee is honored to continue to provide support and inspire generations of filmmakers new and old to connect the world through motion pictures,” said Marcus Hu, chair of the Academy’s grants committee. “We are confident the 47 organizations chosen to receive this year’s grants will leave a lasting impact on our society through their diverse and fresh perspectives.”
    The Academy’s FilmCraft and FilmWatch grants were established to identify and empower future filmmakers from nontraditional backgrounds, cultivate new and diverse talent, promote motion pictures as an art form, and provide a platform for underrepresented artists. Grants range from $5,000-$20,000, and a total of $500,000 was awarded for the 2019-2020 grants year. 
    The grant recipient institutions and programs are as follows:
FilmCraft Grants
Bard College (New York, NY) – Creative Process in Dialogue: Art and the Public
Program will include a master class hosted by leading black American filmmakers Charles Burnett, Julie Dash, and Bradford Young, followed by a public dialogue featuring the filmmakers.
California State University, Los Angeles (Los Angeles, CA) – Women Making Film
Supports collaboration with Cal State LA’s Television, Film and Media Studies Department and the Canon Burbank facility where 10-12 female students will participate in a series of workshops and classes held at the Canon facility in which students receive hands-on experience and instruction.
Camden International Film Festival (Camden, ME) – Points North Institute Artist Programs
The 2019 Artist Programs, which include a fellowship, two residencies, an   industry marketplace and conference, bring hundreds of documentary     filmmakers and film professionals from diverse backgrounds to rural towns on the coast of Maine, providing unique opportunities for mentorship, education, networking and artistic inspiration.
Cine Qua Non Lab (Morelia, Mexico) – CQNL’s Script Revision Lab
Supports CQNL’s 2019 Script Revision Lab in English: a two-week intensive residency that will give 12 independent screenwriters from around the world the opportunity to develop their feature-length narrative scripts within a guided and supportive environment.
Creative Capital Foundation (New York, NY) – 2019 Creative Capital Artist Retreat
The Artist Retreat is a multi-day convening that provides career development and mentorship for a diverse group of Creative Capital artists, including powerful filmmakers, and pitch sessions for artists to present their projects to an audience of 200+ cultural influencers poised to advance their work.
Dreaming Tree Foundation (Rock Island, IL) – Fresh Films Career Path
Fresh Films Career Path engages diverse at-risk teens in Minneapolis, Chicago, Los Angeles and the Quad Cities in an eight-month filmmaking program that builds creative and technical skills through working on a film series.
Educational Video Center (New York, NY) – Youth Documentary Workshop
Youth Documentary Workshop (YDW) program is an afterschool and summer program that provides workshops for at-risk youth to shoot, edit, and produce short documentaries, followed by paid internships that provide opportunities to pursue careers in the film and television industry.
Film Independent (Los Angeles, CA) – Film Independent Producing Lab
The Lab is a high-caliber artist development program that supports up to eight diverse, innovative independent producers annually. Producers develop strategies and action plans to bring their selected narrative feature to fruition.
Independent Filmmaker Project (New York, NY) – Independent Filmmaker Labs
This unique, year-long free program provides education, mentoring, and     essential industry connections to filmmakers throughout the country     through completion, marketing, and distribution of their first feature     films.
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    Indie Memphis Film Festival
    Indie Memphis (Memphis, TN) – Black Creators Forum
A program of the Indie Memphis Film Festival that is designed to build a     supportive community, provide educational opportunities, and new     productions for black filmmakers.
Inner-City Arts (Los Angeles, CA) – Inner-City Arts’ Animation & Filmmaking Workshops
The  Animation and Filmmaking Workshops will provide 90 underserved high school  students with 20 hours of high-quality arts instruction. Workshops will take place in our fully equipped media arts studio and will be taught by professional Teaching Artists, practicing artists who have experience working in the creative industry.
Jacob Burns Film Center (Pleasantville, NY) – Creative Culture Artists-in-Residence Program
Creative Culture is a fellowship and residency program that fosters a diverse community for emerging and established filmmakers in the region, across the country and around the globe. Funds will support two JBFC     series-focused Artists-in-Residence, such as Global Watch, REMIX (The     Black Experience in Film), Contemporary Arab Cinema.
Leap, Inc. (Brooklyn, NY) – Production Assistant and Post Production Training Programs
Program seeks to bridge the skills gap for underrepresented individuals from low-income communities, increasing their access to careers in the     television and film production industry.
Maysles Institute (New York, NY) – Community Producers Program 
The Community Producers Program (CPP) is a 16-week hands-on documentary production and outreach program for justice-involved young adults, ages 18-24, who are interested in building community, engaging in personal development, and gaining healing and leadership practices through documentary filmmaking.
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        Montclair State University Foundation (Montclair, NJ) – Intensive Craft Seminars
The seminars, focusing on below-the-line crafts like sound design, foley     artistry, production design, and camera work, will give students from     underserved communities access to and experience with professionals in the industry that they otherwise would have difficulty accessing.
San Francisco Film Society (San Francisco, CA) – SFFILM Doc Talks
Doc Talk workshops provide documentary filmmakers with artistic guidance and build practical filmmaking skills.
Scribe Video Center (Philadelphia, PA) – Film Scholars
Film Scholars is a series of documentary filmmaking courses focusing on     planning/scripting, production management, production and editing that     will provide a cohort of emerging and mid-level artists from groups     traditionally not represented in commercial media with the skills to     complete new documentary works.
Southern Documentary Fund (Durham, NC) – 2019 SDF Artists Convening
The Artists Convening is a three-day gathering that offers workshops,     mentorship, networking, and other opportunities for Southern media-makers to develop their craft and build vocational infrastructure for film in the South.
Toronto International Film Festival (Toronto, Canada) – Filmmaker Lab 2019
The Filmmaker Lab program provides intensive professional development, including workshops, networking and coaching opportunities with internationally acclaimed filmmakers, for emerging and diverse directors during the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival.
UnionDocs, Inc. (Brooklyn, NY) – Union Docs Labs
The labs enhance artistic vision, offer practical knowledge of the field,     provide significant professional development, bolster writing and     technical skills, and ultimately advance the participants’ creative     documentary projects for 36 emerging and mid-career filmmakers.
Visual Communications (Los Angeles, CA) – Armed with a Camera Fellowship
Program helps emerging Asian American Pacific Islander filmmakers to create new and original work.
Youth FX, Inc. (Albany, NY) – NeXt Doc
The NeXt Doc program amplifies the voices of emerging nonfiction filmmakers of color by providing access to training from established documentarians in the field.
FilmWatch Grants
African Film Festival (New York, NY) – 50 Years of FESPACO
Program is a commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the venerated Panafrican Film and Television Festival of Ouagadougou (FESPACO). We will present a series of five events examining the legacy of this landmark festival.
American Museum of Natural History (New York, NY) – 2019 Margaret Mead Film Festival
Funds will support community outreach and support participation by documentary filmmakers and film subjects.
Anthology Film Archives (New York, NY) – The Cinema of Gender Transgression
Supports an ongoing series that explores the ways cinema has intersected with the experiences, struggles, and ideas within the transgender community by showcasing historical films that have explored the concept of gender transgression, and contemporary works emerging from the transgender community.
Ashland Independent Film Festival (Ashland, OR) – The Pride Award Series: Queer Intersectionality
The “Pride Award Series: Queer Intersectionality” will be programmed by internationally renowned film critic B. Ruby Rich, recipient of our 2019 Pride Award. The series of screenings and conversations will call     attention to artists and films that highlight productive and combustible     intersections of race, class, gender, and sexual preference.
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       Asian American International Film Festival (Brooklyn, NY) – Beyond Representation
“Beyond  Representation” is a 10-day series of screenings, panel discussions and readings, analyzing the impact of Asian-led films, exploring the relationship between Asian Americans and other communities, dissecting the impact of recent immigration restrictions, and forging visions for the future.
Azubuike African American Council for the Arts (Davenport, IA) – Film and Conversation Series: The LA Rebellion
The series will feature 12 L.A. Rebellion films, including on-site presentations by filmmakers Charles Burnett, Julie Dash, Haile Gerima and Zeinabu Irene Davis.
Big Sky Film Institute (Missoula, MT) – Native Filmmaker Initiative
The Native Filmmaker Initiative (NFI) elevates Indigenous artists, brings     Native stories to diverse audiences, and educates youth about contemporary and historical Indigenous issues through nonfiction film. The initiative includes the Native Filmmaker Fellowship, Native Voices festival programming, and educational outreach.
Black Harvest Film Festival (Chicago, IL) – Spotlight on Emerging Filmmakers
Spotlight on Emerging Filmmakers will focus on acknowledging first-time filmmakers of African descent or those who have created no more than three films (shorts or feature-length). 
Brooklyn Academy of Music (Brooklyn, NY) – Expanding the Frame
Expanding the Frame is designed to amplify marginalized voices within the dominant cinematic narrative. This year-long program will challenge hegemonic perspectives by highlighting important, though often overlooked, artists in American and international film.
California Institute of the Arts (Valencia, CA) – Jack H. Skirball Screening Series at REDCAT
The Jack H. Skirball Screening Series will feature today’s most adventurous independent filmmakers, rarely seen cinematic landmarks, and festivals devoted to topics in world cinema during the 2019/20 season.
Canyon Cinema Foundation (San Francisco, CA) – Canyon Cinema Discovered
Canyon Cinema Discovered is a platform for engaging new audiences in experimental cinema. A diverse group of curators will be selected to explore Canyon Cinema’s unique collection, resulting in a nationwide programming initiative.
Chicago International Film Festival (Chicago, IL) – Spotlight: Architecture+Space+Design
The Spotlight: Architecture+Space+Design Program will showcase the less visible craft of production design by highlighting the work of a diversity of designers and by examining how world-building in film reflects and  informs real-world architectural and social structures.
Chicago Latino Film Festival (Chicago, IL) – Educational & Outreach Programs
Educational & Outreach programming during the 35th Chicago Latino Film Festival will include Q & A sessions with filmmakers; free student matinees; and film screenings at community venue partners
Cleveland International Film Festival (Cleveland, OH) – To Be Continued: Focus on Women Filmmakers
To Be Continued supports and encourages the female voice in film and aims to create more equity and diversity in the film industry.
Facets Multi-Media, Inc. (Chicago, IL) – Reels on Wheels
Reels     on Wheels will present award-winning films from the Chicago International Children’s Film Festival to the West and South sides of Chicago – urban,  low-income areas which are virtual movie deserts. A primary focus is to  re-establish the concept of a neighborhood movie house as a platform for community engagement.
Film Forum (New York, NY) – Decolonize the Screen, 1964-1979
This 2-3-week May 2019 series will present 25-30 rarely screened, 16mm and 35mm documentaries and narratives – produced primarily in Africa and Latin America – that chronicle liberation struggles, explore colonial legacies and eschew Western cinematic conventions.
The Film Society of Minneapolis-St. Paul (Minneapolis, MN) – Cine Latino 
Cine Latino, the Upper Midwest’s only showcase of Spanish-language cinema, puts a spotlight on and gives voice to the stories of Minnesota’s largest immigrant group – native Spanish-speakers from many cultures and countries.
GALA Inc. (Grupo de Artistas LatinoAmericanos) (Washington, DC) – Community Engagement: From the Street to the Screen
Support for GALA Theatre’s international film festival featuring contemporary Latin American films with provocative content and innovative techniques. Funding will allow for expanded community programming to engage audiences in vibrant cross-cultural exchanges with emerging Latin American film directors, producers, and actors.
Indigenous Showcase (Seattle, WA) – Indigenous Showcase
Indigenous Showcase provides community screenings of Indigenous-made films and educational opportunities in filmmaking.
International Children’s Media Center (Chicago, IL) – Global Girls & WorldScene Film Immersion Residencies
The Global Girls/WorldScene Residency & Film Festival is an immersive  16-week curating and filmmaking program for at-risk youth that culminates in a high-profile festival of top-tier independent films. By jurying high-quality international films, participants in jails, shelters and care agencies gain important job skills, self-esteem and personal agency.
International Film Seminars (New York, NY) – Flaherty Seminar
The Flaherty Seminar, held every June, brings together filmmakers, curators, educators, students, and film lovers to participate in an intensive, intimate experience that obliterates traditional barriers between makers and audiences. 
Morelia International Film Festival (Morelia, Mexico) – First Nations Forum 
The First Nations Forum 2019 will consist of a four-day workshop, a panel, and two programs of shorts showcasing the work of eight Indigenous women directors from different regions of Mexico.
ReelAbilities International Film Festival (Multiple Cities) – Enhancing Accessibility Options
Support provides open captioning and audio description for approx. 30-35 films that will screen to 30,000+ audience members attending 19 ReelAbilities Film Festivals throughout North America
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     Roger Ebert’s Film Festival (Urbana, IL) – Diversity in Film
The Diversity in Film Program will strengthen our commitment to show a series rooted in inclusivity and that expands and extends conversations about  understanding, tolerance, and diversity with an underserved community rarely exposed to such films.
San Diego Latino Film Festival (CA) – ¡Que Viva La Raza! Chicano Legacies in Film, Then and Now
A multidisciplinary and dynamic celebration of Chicano cinema. Through this showcase, a road map (and preservation initiative) of Chicano history will be created using films released during the height of the Chicano Movement and the present.
The Academy’s Grants program provides financial support to qualifying film festivals, educational institutions and film scholars and supports the Academy’s overall mission to recognize and uphold excellence in the motion picture arts and sciences, inspire imagination and connect the world through the medium of motion pictures. The Academy Grants program has awarded more than $12,000,000 to non-profit institutions and film festivals.
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siqueiroscribbl · 6 years
Audio
 No Police! 5/2/18
with guest Da’Shaun Harrison
Follow Da’Shaun’s work: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email at [email protected]
Website | Donate | Underwriting Opportunities | Patreon
:: Last month we talked about.... What new parents of LGBT/Queer Youth can do to show they support their children when they come out and your child’s transition to being out.
Watch the video of the interview at the “website link”
:: In this months’ program, I’d like to introduce you to my special guest, writer and Editor-in-Chief of the online publication Queer Black Millennial, Da’Shaun Harrison.
:: 2015 Williams Institute Study on Discrimination and Harassment by LEO in the LGBT Community
:: Police Should Not Be In Pride: Pride Should Not Accept Police Brutality, Police Complain After Being Told They Can’t March In The Twin Cities Pride Parade and The History Of Policing In The United States Part 1
Book Recommendations by Da’Shaun Harrison
Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Davis
-Instead of Prisons by Critical Resistance
-History of Sexuality by Michel Foucault
-Global Lockdown: Race, Gender, and the Prison Industrial Complex edited by Julia Sudbury
Links:
Discrimination and Harassment by Law Enforcement Officers in the LGBT Community | the Williams Institute: Christy Mallory, Amira Hasenbush, Brad Sears, March 2015
Police Should Not Be In Pride: Pride Should Not Accept Police Brutality | The Odyssey, by Tiffany Berruti July 11, 2016
Police Complain After Being Told They Can’t March In The Twin Cities Pride Parade | Star Tribune by Karen Zamora June 22, 2017
The History Of Policing In The United States Part 1
Other Reads worth looking at:
Why Banning Uniformed Police At Pride Will Actually Make The Event More Inclusive | CBC News by Alex Verman, Vincent Mousseau April 24, 2017
http://www.cbc.ca/news/opinion/banning-uniformed-police-pride-1.4077861
Police Brutality Against LGBT Community | Huffington Post
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/police-discrimination-in-lgbt-community-long-beach_us_58cf1a17e4b0537abd95724c
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matildainmotion · 3 years
Text
What if Self-Love is Not About the Self? By Natasha Fowler and Matilda Leyser
This blog is a collage.
A collaboration
A conversation between my words -Matilda’s- and….
….Mine, Natasha’s
It’s a blog about looking after yourself, ourselves, and how I, you, we go about doing that.
It is in two parts. You can also listen to the blog if you go HERE:
PART ONE:
First, to introduce ourselves:
Matilda: I am a mother, writer, theatre-maker, co-director of Mothers Who Make, wife, daughter, insomniac.
Natasha: I am a friend, a lover, a guardian, a wounded human. I am a White woman, descendant from my ancestors. I make art, share what I know and raise children.
We met at an international MWM meeting.
I’m trying to finish a draft of my novel by Christmas, so I am not writing any blogs. Instead, I send an email to Natasha, in Amsterdam….
Hi Natasha, Please let me know if you wish to write a MWM blog for the month of November. The only requirement is that it ends with a question, relevant to the theme of mothering and making, that can become the focus for the month’s meetings should people wish to take it up. Let me know….. Matilda
Thank you, Matilda, yes. I started work on the self-care article yesterday. I’m going to edit today and share with a few friends. I can commit to having it to you by Wednesday. I hope you have a good steady day of eating, working, caring and resting. I have stretched, washed and consciously dressed but my teeth are not cleaned yet (3/4 of my morning routine). Time to get off emails! Natasha
Late Wednesday, I receive Natasha’s first draft. I see it come into my inbox at nine pm, as I am about to read bedtime stories to my daughter – I think, ‘I won’t read that now, or I won’t sleep.’ I close down my laptop.
I don’t sleep anyway. One of the worst things about insomnia is the radical loneliness – an irrational sense that no one else in the world is still awake.
The next day, tired, wired, I read Natasha’s blog. I know I am a word control freak -I have been known to edit, and re-edit, a text message - but I feel uncertain about publishing Natasha’s draft in the MWM blog spot. I want more mothering and making in it. This also seems a very dubious response- to invite new, diverse people to write a blog and, when they don’t sound like me, to want to edit them to make them sound more so…..and yet, at the same time, I think there is something valid in wanting to look after the particular space that MWM holds, in meetings, online, in writings. After dithering for a few days, I email Natasha –
Hi Natasha, first a disclaimer: I am not in a great place right now. My chronic insomnia has become acute and I am not functioning well, so my critical faculties are pretty ropey! …But would you be willing, to include a little more about your mothering and making in the writing….?
Hi Matilda, It makes sense to me that my approaches and the boundaries of the blog are having a conversation. I am curious about why I don’t talk about mothering and making in a way that meets the criteria. I have an imaginative block for what that’d look like - which tells me I’m categorising the requirement differently to you. It’s a familiar thought cul-de-sac that comes with this Neurodiverse mind I operate in.
Neurodiverse. It’s a term that is relatively new to me and suddenly tremendously potent: at the end of September my son at last received an autism diagnosis. “I get it,” he said when my husband and I told him, “My brain does this” – he drew a detailed picture in the air of different, curved and diagonal connections between invisible points of meaning– “And other peoples’ do this,” he said, drawing a series of straight, right-angled lines.
Hi Natasha, as part of my learning in this area I would be very interested to hear a little more about how you name and describe your neurodiversity. Please send me a few lines articulating your sense of it - why does our exchange feel like ‘a familiar cul-de-sac’ to you? Tell me more about the cul-de-sac and the other streets and highways of your mind :-) Thank you again for your openness, integrity, and all your work on this. Matilda xxx
The cul-de-sac I talk about is a place I get stuck when I've been given a task and I have no imaginable concept of what that would look like. With a long conversation and lots of back and forth clarification, I would probably discover that I do know what you're talking about but I learned a long time ago not to try and clarify everything so precisely, it was not practical/ possible and probably led to people being annoyed by my questions.
Part of my response to the task is to think "but I made the writing - that's the making" and "I am a mother, so if I speak, I'm speaking from the experience of mothering".
In the end I understand the labels autism/ADHD/dyslexia/neurodiversity to be bureaucratic necessities in a world obsessed with 'normal'. The necessary diversity of human experience is medicalised, categorised in order for us to get the money from the system that is needed to exist in the system. I am disabled by what I live in and my race/class/gender identity have protected me from that disabling being far more consequential.
I can’t and don’t want to argue with any of this. I feel dismayed at the idea that my requirements for the MWM blog might actually in themselves be exclusive. I don’t feel good about wading in and making Natasha’s voice more acceptable within my idea of what the text should sound like. So, I think instead I will be transparent – I will leave her words as they are and add some of mine – put in the mothering and the making that I feel the need to include. As it happens, Natasha’s chosen theme, of the need for self-care to be a process that takes place as a collective, community act, could not be more relevant to my experience of mothering and making this month.
Here we go then….
PART TWO:
Natasha: I ran out of self-love this summer, overwhelmed by stories of all my faults, what I’d lost and not done. I spent too much time subject to a cruel inner tyranny. I held onto the idea that I could take care of the situation alone. That I could create the self-love I needed. I could not. I needed to depend on something beyond my self. Although I had vowed to love myself first only two years ago, I was now raising questions about this individualised ideal of self-love.
Matilda: Take care, people say. I still struggle to do this. I sit on the stairs at 3am. My husband is asleep. My son and daughter are asleep. They are 8 and 4. I am 46. I ought to be able to rest too - how can I possibly take care of them, if I cannot take care of myself in this fundamental way? Self-soothing is a skill that babies, some say, are meant to have learnt after only a few months. I tell myself this when I get to the sobbing stage at 4am. I fantasize about a mother figure– not my real mother who is 79 now, also in my care, also asleep – but some great giant of a mother coming walking through the woods outside. She is coming to take me up in her arms, hold me against her, above the trees, hold me, grown as I am, until I fall asleep. Because tomorrow I have other people to take care of– the children, my mother. And I have another chapter of my novel to write. I know I cannot write when I haven’t slept.
Natasha: I finally gave up the idea that self-love is my sole responsibility. I began to accept the dependence that exists, the vulnerability of my well being. My self-love became communal. Just like the child raising that I do along with my partner, our friends and family; just like the neighbourhood garden my wee boy and I joined in preparing for winter last week.
But how did I end up believing self-love is something I have to do by myself? Born in 1978, independence and individuality were highly prized values when I was growing up. To be able to do things yourself without help was a given. To be free of the demands of a group was important. The myth of singular heroes was all over the culture, from lonesome superheroes to introvert inventors and brave explorers. The heroes saved the vulnerable, and the vulnerable were symbolised as young, straight, thin, white women. The stories of everyone around the inventor and all that they did were edited out. The people who were there before the explorer even set his foot down were erased. The values of independence of individuality, invulnerability are seeped into my bones.
Matilda: Did you sleep? My husband asks me in the morning. I shake my head. He is worried. I am worried. I don’t know what to do. I have tried so many things. I tell him I might put a post about it on the Mothers Who Make Facebook group– “You should,” he says. “That’s what it’s for.” True. I started it, but I find it hard to reach out for support. I have a kind of pride, almost a snobbery, that has often stopped me sharing. ‘What’s on your mind?’ FB asks me – so many things, but I don’t want to place them in that white public space. It feels immodest to do so, to turn my life into a headline. But the truth is, I am afraid.
I recognise this. It is also why I find it hard to share my work. I hold onto it. I have been working on this novel for ten years, and hardly anyone has read it. It is the same reason I edit, re-edit text messages. I do not let people see the mess. The missed comas. The words out of place. I feel safest when sealed off, private, when only carefully crafted images of vulnerability are revealed. And yet, when I am sobbing at 4am, all I want is company. A giant mother. Someone, anyone, to see me, to see the mess of me.
Natasha: I am communally made. My ideas of who I am, what I do, what is the value in me are made during my relationships. Maybe I always knew that like the self-hate I was carrying, my self-love was a communal responsibility. I suspect there is something about the experience of being a mother in my culture that helped me forget. It seems to be an experience that isolates and calcifies our individual sense of responsibility. The International mothers who make calls were part of my communal self-love recovery. Getting to turn up to a new group and hear me tell my story and listen to so much good company. I hope we might all give and receive the love that we need to maintain a sense of our self being loved. I hope we are all learning what we need to learn to be able to do that.
Matilda: So I did it – I put the post on Facebook. I need some help, I wrote, I don’t sleep and I can no longer blame my children for this. My children are sleeping – I am not. Many of you reading this, may have seen it and responded. It was extraordinary for me to see such a huge number of compassionate, wise, responses so fast. Humbling. Profoundly helpful – not just the resources, but the act itself of reaching out and finding so many hands writing back. After only an hour, I went online to look and I could see the wavy line that appears when someone, somewhere is in the process of typing something. A real person out there, taking care. Not just one. Over a hundred. A giant number of mothers.
I wrote back to Natasha:
P.s. The amazing response I received to my insomnia post rather wonderfully proves your point - we don’t have to do this self-care thing on our own. Xxxxx
Don’t have to – can’t even – whoever you are, how ever your mind works, however brilliant you are, however vulnerable, however divergent, however alone you feel.
It sounds so simple. So obvious. We are interconnected. All the streets link up, even the cul-de-sacs have passages leading onto one another. There is no such thing as social distancing. Physical distancing, yes, but social – two metres apart between your thoughts and mine, your experience and mine, your words and mine – is just not possible.
Here then is Natasha’s, my, your, our question for the month:
How do you understand self-love, is it clearly something you must do for yourself? Or something you share? or maybe you practise other ideals of compassion? Maybe you carry some communally made self-hate too? How do you sustain yourself when overwhelmed?
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