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gemstone-roses · 2 years

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breathe

otto octavius x reader

summary: at the moment you can't bare to be alone with your thoughts

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, mentions of intrusive thoughts, anxiety, nightmares, exhaustion, fluff.

AN: this is an 18+ blog as is all my work including this one. likes/comments/reblogs appreciated🥺

"You look exhausted", a mug of tea appears in front of you.

"Thanks very much" you said sarcastically, you are in fact, exhausted, you were just hoping he'd be to polite to point it out.

"Are you okay" he asks with a small smile and with such kindness you feel bad for being so mean.

You take a deep breath "thankyou for the tea doctor"

"Please, call me otto". He chuckles, he gives your shoulder a squeeze before settling back into his lab work.

You sigh, leaning back into your chair and rubbing your forehead, taking a sip of the tea you immediately spit it back out

"I take it your not a fan of chamomile then" you hear otto tease

"It is soap powder in a cup and no I won't explain why I know what that tastes like" you huff.

"Sorry" you smile, really though that was kind of you to bring me tea, even if it was awful tea.

"You should go home and get some rest, take the rest of the day o-

"No!" You say a little too quickly. "I just, I gotta finish these reports or Norman's gonna have my head, or my job, probably just my job definitely my job because you know how he gets and -

Otto chuckles at your words.

"Mr Osborn is on vacation"

"So?"

"He has been for 3 weeks, and he didn't leave any instruction about your reports"

"Fuck" you huffed

"really though, are you alright?" The concern in his voice almost almost made you waver.

"I'm fine, thanks otto". He gave you a smile before returning to his work.

"Your still here?". The Concern etched into ottos voice bought you out of your daydream.

"Mm" you looked up to notice everyone else had gone home, except for you.

You rubbed your head in frustration

"Come on, why don't we go sit on something more comfortable"

"You know for a man with so much money you'd think Norman would get half decent furniture" you complained.

Otto chuckled at you again

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, you make me laugh thats all" he said.

"Sit" he said, pouring out some coffee and indicating to the couch.

He sits himself next to you and hands you a mug.

" thankyou" you smile.

"So, are you going to tell me the real reason your still here at almost midnight?"

"Im just trying to get ahead with my work" mumbled looking down, you fiddled with your sleeve

Otto grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze, causing you to look up.

"Y/n" he sighed

You gulped

"I, uhm, fuck, I just can't stop my mind from, well thinking, and i cant sleep because my stupid brain wont shut off and when i finally think im done with all these stupid thoughts im reminded of something that starts it all over again and it's just one thing after another, I keep having graphic nightmares all night long and my normal distraction methods are doing shit". You almost yelled.

You looked away from him,tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

"look at me" he tilted your head to face him.

"It's okay" he said, his eyes were so kind

The tears threatening to fall, fell and otto opened his arms for you.

You felt so safe in his arms, the kind doctor who would do anything for the people he cared about.

He held you for a while, tight, while your sobs eventually turned into sniffles

"Your coming home with me tonight"

"I am?" You sniffed

"You are" he smiled, getting up first he offers you his hand.

"Thankyou, otto". You smiled at him. Otto grabbed his coat and draped it round your shoulders.

#otto octavius x reader #doc ock x reader #spider man nwh imagine #doc ock imagine #marvel imagine #marvel hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

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ellohcee · 3 years

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Call Me

Okay so I want to throw this little bit out into the universe of one of my favorite instances of Jasper I've written. Context: He's a host for a dinky late night radio show and he has like... 10-15 listeners max and David is one of them, a college student who Can’t Sleep even between classes and his job, so he’s up late late listening to Jasper’s show. He calls in sometimes because Jasper is always offering advice and encouraging people to call in and chat, specifically about LGBTQ topics and David finds comfort and encouragement in their chats. They’ve been talking for a while but he still goes by the name Red.

- - - -

“Alright you night owls, this next one goes out to my long lost buddy, Red.”

David looked up at the radio in surprise, his pencil stilling on the page.

“It’s been a while since we’ve heard from ya and we miss you dude. And I’m gonna get hella gay up in here, but that’s on brand for me, I miss you.”

David’s breath caught in his throat painfully, his heart hammering.

“So I hope you catch this, give us a call, let me know how you’re doing buddy I’m dyin’ here, don’t leave me hanging. Cause I’ve got a question for you and you wont know what until you gimme a ring. Yes I’m gonna be that guy. So call. Please.”

The music picked back up, and true to Jasper’s word, Blondie’s Call Me started playing.

The pencil had slipped from his fingers without realizing as David tried to decipher all of that, especially that last, sincere please. Jasper missed his calls? Maybe he was just worried because David had dropped off so suddenly. It had just been too nerve wracking once he realized he was crushing on the radio host. But what could Jasper possibly want to ask him? Was it good or bad?

He was still nervous and the idea of calling in downright terrified him now, but… he at least owed it to Jasper to let him know he was alive. It must have looked bad, for him to be consistently calling about once a week and then suddenly stop with no warning, going on nearly two months of silence now. Jasper was always so nice and seemingly happy to talk to him, he must be worried. Gosh, now he had to call, he felt terrible.

David had to take several steadying breaths and about twenty good minutes to work up the nerve, but he managed to eventually press call, hands shaking as he listened to the phone ring.

“What’s up caller you’re live, how’s it hangin?”

“Um, hi...” he said quietly.

He heard a soft intake of air and a shuffle. “That you Red?” Jasper asked, sounding hopeful, the excited smile evident in his voice.

“Y-yes, it’s me,” David replied.

“Aw, buddy, good to hear your voice again man, I was gettin’ worried bout you.”

“I’m so sorry I- just- life, you know?” David hedged, feeling even more guilty because he couldn’t give an honest explanation.

“I feel that, it’s cool dude, it’s just good to hear from ya. I assume you heard my call out?”

David’s heart started beating faster, so, so antsy. If it weren’t for the guilt of worrying Jasper he probably wouldn’t have had the guts to call, but he could still be a wreck about it, easily. “Yes, I did. You... had a question?”

“Yeah! You don’t mind me askin’ live?”

“Um, sure, that’s fine,” David said nervously. It couldn’t be too bad if it was something Jasper could ask on air. Right?

“Sweet. So. Last we talked your rough waves from the coming out thing were settling. You found a boyfriend yet?” the radio host asked casually.

David eyebrows shot up in surprise, his face going so very red and he was so very grateful this was a phone call, not in person because that would make it ten times worse. “Um- n-no, I- I haven’t… um, no,” he stammered uselessly. Why was this the topic??

“Awesome!” Jasper said in delight, leading to an awkward pause. “Wow fuck that sounded hella mean I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Cheese and crackers, foot in mouth Jasp, good one. Anyway! I just meant because- like, stop me if this is too weird, or hang up on me, but I was wondering if I could like… take ya on a date?”

David’s heart stopped in surprise, the blush that had just started receding coming back full force. His stomach whirled in a mix of dread and excitement, trying to go one way or the other as his brain stalled for a good long moment-

“Red?”

David sucked in a breath. “Is- are you- are you serious?” he asked softly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Course dude!! I wouldn’t fuck around with you like that, hell no! I’m for super serious!”

“But… we’ve- you- you don’t even know what I look like,” David stammered, trying to find reason to turn him down, but so, so desperately wanting to say yes. He felt stupid for saying it the second it left his mouth, Jasper didn’t seem at all the type to place a lot of importance on appearances.

“I don’t need to! I’m sure you’re rad as hell, but I’m not a looks guy, okay? I like your personality, and I love shootin the shit with you, and you’re super nice. That’s the kinda stuff I’m into, and if you’re hella cute, which I’m sure you are, that’s a bonus!”

David stared down at his desk for a long moment, his thoughts a mess, one hand over his mouth as he took this all in. He had to take a moment to pinch the soft skin on the inside of his arm to decide that this was really happening and he hadn’t passed out at his desk into some dream where his crush happened to reciprocate-

“Reeeddd?” Jasper teased softly after another long pause, bringing him out of his panic spiral. “No pressure my dude, you can say no.”

“Yes,” David blurted shakily.

“Yeah??” Jasper asked, his voice picking up in obvious excitement and relief, despite his apparent brace for a rejection. “For real?”

“Y-yes, I’d… I’d like to,” David said softly, his face still red.

“Aw man, awesome, shit. Okay uh- no PI on air so uh- I go off air at 3, you’re usually up pretty late, yeah? Think you’ll be around?”

“Yes, I should be.”

“Supes, call back when you hear me sign off and we’ll hash stuff out, okay? Or at least do personal numbers to talk during the day.”

“O-okay,” David stammered, his mind whirling. “I’ll do that.”

“Sweet. Okay man, you sound a little wigged out so I’ll let you get back, and I will be counting the minutes til sign off,” Jasper teased.

“Okay, um, talk to you later? Bye.”

“Ta-ta for now!” Jasper sung.

David disconnected the call, his pulse still racing as he listened to Jasper on the radio once more, turning the volume back up just in time to hear.

“Oh my god, wack, holy shit you guys he said yes- fuck he’s probably listening and I sound like a giant goober- hi Red! Okay, anymore callers before we go back to music? Holy shitballs.”

A quick, incredulous laugh escaped his mouth before David could stifle it, his chest swirling with fear and elation. Jasper- Jasper had asked him on a date- and he sounded just as rattled as David felt. That helped a little to know it wasn’t just him- Jasper had just been loads better keeping a cap on his nerves while they were talking.

“You’re up caller!”

David came back from his thoughts when he heard a familiar voice, one of Jasper’s other regular callers.

“Oooooh Jasper asked a boy on a daaatteee~” she teased in delight.

“I know oh my god dude I’m still weak from it, I didn’t wanna mess up with Red but I like… really want to meet him and take him out, especially once he stopped calling? And no offense Red if you’re still there it’s TOTALLY cool cause that woke my ass up! Holy shit I still can’t believe he said yes.”

David listened all throughout the rest of Jasper’s show, all thoughts of homework lost as he leaned his elbows on the desk, hands clasped in front of his mouth. Anticipation made his nerves spike again while sitting through Jasper’s familiar sign off, where he bid goodnight to his listeners and started the after hours playlist. David waited a minute before taking a deep, deep breath and pressing the call button.

It rang only once before the line picked up, and a hopeful voice answered. “Red?”

“H-hi Jasper,” he replied.

“Hey dude! Hey, sorry to put you on the spot like that but- y’know, I figured it would be less creepy to everyone to just be upfront and ask you, instead of being like ‘hey call me after hours hoohoo wink wink,’ ya dig?”

David stifled a giggle, smiling. “I understand. It probably would’ve made me more nervous to have to wait that long, wondering what your question was,” he admitted.

“That too! I wanted to just… put it out there, figured it’d be best. So! You’re really cool with going on a date?”

“Yes, I… I’d like that. To meet you,” he added softly, flushed.

“Rad, okay, nice. So let’s just exchange numbers for tonight? I know you might not sleep anyway but it’s friggen late and I don’t want to keep either of us up too long.”

“That sounds good, I don’t want to keep you up either,” David replied. He gave his number first when Jasper gave the go-ahead, listening to the other man hum as he typed it into his phone, and a few moments later David heard a buzz near his ear.

“I just shot you a text so you have my number and can add me.”

“Got it,” David replied, pulling the phone away briefly to see a text notification at the top of the screen, a short string of peace sign emojis that made him smile.

“Awesome sauce. Well- shit, I’m really excited but again, we can talk later. Try to get some sleep, okay dude?” he asked, sounding genuinely concerned and losing his usual casual tone. “I worry bout you.”

David smiled, touched by the thought. “I’ll try.”

“Okay, I’ll text you sometime tomorrow- today, whatever, much later. Give you a chance to snooze. Night Red, and thanks for- you know. Thanks. Night!”

“Goodnight Jasper, and thank you too,” he replied softly.

“No prob, catch ya later.”

David pulled the phone away and ended the call, his heart still hammering as he tried to comprehend everything. But he decided to pack it away for later, turning off the radio and closing the long abandoned textbook. Hopefully he could get a few hours of sleep and be a tiny bit more composed when he next spoke with Jasper.

Doubtful, but it was a nice thought.

#camp camp #cc david #cc jasper #jaspvid #ellowrites #but for real this is like #the most best i've ever been able to channel my vision of jasper?#when they meet for their date he's wearing that stupid bowling alley carpet shirt and i just #god it's so jasper #also a great example of me abusing the dash symbol #but it's my staple #also mentioning way too often about the state of david's heart but he's a sleep deprived nervous wreck SO

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deliciously-yeeted · 3 years

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I was in desperate need of some beel fluff, so i wrote some. As one does. Uh, ive never done this,(posting fanfic, i normally jus write small things for myself tbh😅) before so please have mercy lol

I hope ya like it though, it put a smile on my face so im hoping it does the same for you♡

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You started filling the hem of your shirt with snacks, as many as you could fit in the scrunched up fabric that is, a tired but playful grin on your lips, as you thought over what you planned to do, mentally prepping yourself.

Normally, you're not so bold about seeking out comfort and such, feeling shy about showing vulnerability...but today, ugh, today had you particularly worn down. You needed something, affection preferably. You'd settle for a warm bath and some melatonin if you had to. Though, you really didnt want too.

You were tired of self soothing all the time. And Asmos care packages could only help so much. But you knew how to make it all magically better. There was only one option in times like these .

You worked quickly, excitement bouncing around in your gut, making your hands a little shaky.

Having grabbed all you could you carry, you practically dashed from the kitchen. Your mind set on finding a certain big demon. Last you heard, he was headed to his room for a bit. You hoped he was still there.

When you finally reached his bedroom door, you found yourself in a tad bit of a pickle. Your eyebrows furrowed, the realization that you wouldn't be able to open the door making you frown at the closed door briefly. You cursed yourself slightly, for not thinking that far ahead. You forgot in all your excitement.

Briefly you considered trying to use you feet before dropping the idea. Guess you've got no choice.

Dang it! You felt kinda bummed that you'd be losing the element of surprise, but the grin soon returned, thinking about seeing Beel always you happy, regardless of the circumstances.

"Beeeeellllllllllll!" You called out, letting a bit of a whine into your voice, hey, who knows? Maybe it'd get him in front of you faster?? He tended to be on the slower side of answering his door, sometimes he simply didnt hear it. Especially if he was working out or watching tv.

Apparently, whining his name did not speed him up:(

You were about to call out again, worried he hadn't heard you, when the door clicked open. The mere sound making you feel slightly giddy. Your eyes snapping up to meet his briefly. You soaked in as many details of him as you could, without just straight ogling him, before flicking your eyes back up to meet his.

"Y/n?" He seemed pleasantly surprised, dressed in a black tank top and grey sweats (you were happy to see him wearing them, because while he looked like a whole ass meal in them, it also meant he had no plans of leaving the house tonight).

His eyes were quick to find the odd lumps wrapped up in your shirt, as well as the bit of tummy peaking out. The position you held your shirt in had caused the bottom of your stomach to show, something you had worried about on the way here, anxious about a different brother catching a glimpse of you. You could feel his stare burn against your skin, he was about to say something, but then his nose twitched, and his eyes fixed on your bundle of snacks instead.

Not that you minded his staring your stomach, not with Beel.

The others...maybe.

Your tummy was one of his favorite parts about you, he's hands finding their way under your shirt to touch and squeeze the soft flesh more often than not. Always gentle and non intrusive. I think he'd full on cry if he accidentally upset you somehow tbh.

Boy had absolutely no shame about it, once he learned you didnt mind much.

Especially when you seemed to be a bit shy about showing your stomach, with the others, or just in general. He made sure to let you know how much he loved your squish. Be it at RAD or just casually in the house.

The only person who ever raised a fuss over it was Mammon, although, he tended to fuss over everything you did anyways;; His protests did absolutely nothing to deter you or Beel, much to his dismay.

Sometimes, if Beel was hungry and needed a distraction or a quick 'pick me up', he'd scoop you up and just shove his face into your tummy. (Much like what I do with my cat when I'm bored and/or sad) Then he'd just hold you there until he absolutely had to let you down.

Relishing in the feel of your softness and you heart racing under your skin, fluttering so delicately under his lips, pressing his face against you was an instant mood lifter for him.

You loved it, a surprised but delighted laugh always ripping from your chest, almost subconsciously. You couldn't hide your happiness in his affections, not that you would want to (thats a lie, you cant help but be embarrassed at the end of the day by the intensive joy you felt whenever you looked at him). Which only seemed to motivate him even more, and soon each time he scooped you up, he'd kiss all over your tummy, making you giggle because it tickled, before hugging you close with a small sigh.

"I brought snacks, and some cuddles. So uhm, can I nap on you for a bit? 'M tired. Unless your busy or something..." you beam up at him, starting to hesitate toward the end, suddenly a little unsure.

"Pretty please?? I wont bug ya, I promise." You plead, pulling your best puppy dog eyes, shifting from one foot to the other nervously. His eyes widened as his brain processed what you said, and the cute sight in front of him. If he was being honest, it made his brain stop for a split second.

He chuckled at you and lifted you up by the back of your knees, holding you carefully to his chest, mindful of your full shirt. A small startled squeak coming from you as he did so, a sound he never got tired of hearing.

You glanced in the room as he closed to door, he had papers sprawled over the small coffee table in the middle of the room, and a few (you spotted more in the trash bin in the corner) empty food wrappers around his work space. He plopped down in front of the table again, taking only a few steps to reach it. You were kind of jealous, your short legs never being a fair match against his. Luckily he enjoyed carrying you, which solved that issue right quick.

"You can keep me company while I finish my homework." He says, shifting you into his lap and keeping a loose hold on your lower stomach, fingers splaying out to get a small feel of your exposed skin. Glancing around, you dont see belphies mop of hair in his bed, he was probably sleeping in the attic or the observatory, you quietly hum to yourself, abit happy to have Beel all to yourself for the moment. Shifting forward, Beels hands refusing to let you go and setting on your waist, you hold your shirt above the edge of the table, and let the snacks spill from your shirt before smoothing the garment back down, missing Beels frown as he looses sight of your tummy. Quickly moving to organize the snacks a bit, so that they were within reach and not scattered all over his papers and in the way.

"Thank you, your the bestest!!" You say, the dull ache in your arms more than worth the effort in your opinion.

You tilted your head back so you can look up at him. Making eye contact with him made your brain kinda just...mush. Your hands slowly squeezing his on your waist, lifting them so you move a bit.

You tore you gaze from his, before turning around and wrapping your arms around his nack and your legs around his torso,(like a koala in his opinion).

Scooting as close as you could get away with, (your not as stealthy as you give yourself credit for, he knows, he just too nice to tease you for it, and he doesn't want you to stop), so you could snuggle up to him and be comfy at the same time. Which wasn't all that hard to do with him, being the teddy bear he is.

Your eyes glazed over slightly, and you were distracted as you mind pulled your attention away.

Ah, you were in pure bliss, you could die happy like this~

You had grabbed plenty of snacks, being sure to vary in your choices, knowing Beel would like to have options, and hoping to be able to buy some extra time with him and a cute Beel smile as a reward for your effort. Tho, youd do it anyways.

Not that you'd ever admit to that. Nuh uh, no way. Unless he asked nicely, you'd give in embarrassingly fast if he ever did, the realization making your face heat up.

But...

Embarrassment be damned, youd never tell Beel 'No'.

He looks down at you, face going all blushy and soft at your slightly dazed and flushed expression. Your thoughts getting the best of you for a moment. Shaking your head slightly and letting out a resigned sigh.

"Of course you can," you snap out of it when he speaks up, looking up at him, quick to give him your full attention. "I love when you cuddle up with me, it helps me focus a bit. You didn't have to bribe me, though, as long as its you, my cuddles come free-" wrapping his arms around your shoulders, giving you a snug hug, he moves to continue. "Not that I'm complaining-" you cut him off, feeling slightly guilty about it. You were already flustered, and his sweet words weren't helping your predicament one bit. That was until your eyes actually focus on his face, oh sweet hell, hes so precious!!! Your heart thumps nearly painfully for a moment, nerves biting into your thoughts.

Your face was definitely beat red now, you could feel it at the tips of your ears even. Yet you refused to move, your eyes locked on his. A rare occurrence, one you could tell he was basking in, his eyes were glued to your face, studying it. His flush deepening slightly.

Squishing his cheeks and "shushing" him gently. Your basically cooing at him, to tired suddenly to care much about how your words or actions came off. The nervousness slipping away from your voice and movements. "Its not a bribe hun, I just felt like seeing you smile before I fell asleep on you. Heh, your smile is my goodluck charm for good dreams, ya know?" You tiredly rub his cheek with your thumb, eyes lit up happily and content. Giving him a small breathless laugh at the end.

He really did calm you down, your mind slowing down as the excitement started to fade, a fact you became overly aware of quite suddenly, your eyes feeling quite heavy now that you felt safe.

You yawned, your weariness catching up to you.

Beels quick to notice, taking note of the bags under your eyes. Dont worry, he'll make sure you get some good sleep, no bad dreams were gonna plague you on his watch. He glances over at the snacks you brought, unbelievably happy. Seeing you so cutely curled up to him, the fact that you brought him as much food as you could carry(a sight he nearly died from when he saw it) and your sweet sweet words, it definitely warmed his heart to say in the least.

He loved that you actually came to find him, just so you could cuddle. His adoration for you is bottomless, just like his hunger.

So, Beel wraps you inna big bear hug, pulling you closer and peppering the top of your head and face with kisses. He gives you a big grin, his eyes sparkling happily. "Nap, I'll wake you up when I'm done and we can hangout till dinner."

You tiredly nod, relaxing against him.

Grabbing a baggy of chips, he smooches your forehead, before tucking your face under his chin so he could munch, and see his work(not like that was much of an issue, beels a big boy after all👀), without completely covering the top of your head in crumbs (you'd told him you didn't mind, especially since he always ruffled your hair to get then out, and you loved that...but he still feels bad about it and tries to avoid it to some extent) and being able to rest his chin on top your head was just the cherry on top for him.

💗Happy beel mode activated💗

Sighing happily, you close your eyes. Beels cuddles making all your stress melt away, just like they always did. Slowly, you start to drift off, listening to the soft scratch of his pen as he starts to work and his deep breathing, letting it lull you into sleep.

I dont know why my brain wanted me to got all out on this. I literally jus couldn't stop tweaking with it. Imma post if before i decide to change it. Imma just conveniently forget i wrote this now, maybe ill like it more after a week or two... :/ also if theres any spelling or grammar issues plz tell me, its like 2am rn so im sure i missed something

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enigma-im · 4 years

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Under Pressure

Rating: Mature Relationship: Bigfoot x Female!Human Warning: Established relationship, couples problems, arguing, misunderstanding, fluff, angst

Word count: 3160

a reason couples may fight is because lack of intimacy in a relationship

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"I just don’t know what to do, I don’t think he wants me anymore," I grumble near my beer. I don’t bother looking over at my friends, knowing they are giving such pity-filled faces.

"I'm sure that’s not the case," Aria soothes. I rest my cheek on my arm as I regard her.

"But what if it is. I'm really different than his previous taste," I argue, wording things differently. I cant tell them that we are completely different species all together. It’s a fear I've had from the start, we are just so different. What if he is bored of the novelty of bedding a human? Perhaps he is already looking for someone more close to home. The thought is heavy in my stomach, the image is like daggers to my brain.

"Than you are more special than the others cause you don’t match his previous taste," Aria attempts to persuade. It falls flat quickly.

"I think I was more of a 'slumming it' kind of case more than a 'better than the rest' thing," I groan.

"Don’t say that! You are way too pretty to be considered 'slumming it' material. I know you ar-," Aria continues to comfort till Trina interrupts.

"Have you just asked him," Trina asks from beside me. I turn over and watch her finish off her pint. She glances over at me and cocks a brow," It’s the new age, no use overthinking things when you can just ask." I look at her skeptically, it cant be that easy. I don’t think I can bare the answer even if it was. What if bringing it up makes him ponders the situation then likes it. I rather not be the reason he starts looking at me as a waste. God, where has the self-critical nature come from? I use to be so proud and confident, why am I like this now?

'Probably because you boyfriend refuses to touch you' the thought screams in my mind.

I drive home in radio silence, torturing myself with self deprecating thoughts. I have never been like this before, care so much about a man's opinion of me. It probably doesn’t help that he isn't human, no frame of reference to base anything off of. I can pick out signs when my ex's were losing interest, know from a mile away when one was ready to high tail it out of there. With him its different, he is close but distant. He is with me but far away in his head. I park in my driveway and bang my head on the steering wheel.

"Why am I so pathetic," I wince.

I shuffle out of my car and make my way inside. I make it into the dark house wondering if he is upstairs or if he slept at his place again. I really hope he slept here. I walk up the steps, removing my shirt as I do. As I near my room I chuck the clothing inside. I unbutton my pants as I turn the light on, immediately looking to my bed for the familiar lump. I sigh in disappointment.

As I get ready for bed I do my best to not think about it. He has a life outside of me, and that’s fine. I can survive a night without him, its not a big deal.

It still stings when I walk back into the bedroom.

I settle in bed and fail to not let my mind wonder. Where could he be? Is he at his place or is he out and about? Will he be back tonight or will I see him tomorrow?

Fuck, I sound like a teenage girl all over again.

Once I begin to drift I feel the bed dip. So dazed I think nothing of it, just humming when I feel arms wrap around my middle. Being pulled back into a warm strong chest.

I lazily wake the next morning with my cheek resting on his arm, my nose pressed to his shoulder. I suck in a deep breath, taking in his inviting smell. Its enough to make me forget about my woes of last night, snuggling closer to his side. As my knees bump against his he startles awake with a gasp.

"What time is it," he mumbles as he turns on his side. His chest presses against my cheek, his hand settling on my waist.

"Not sure, I don’t work today so I didn’t set my alarm," I answer. He hums as he falls back asleep. He snorts awake again a second later.

"Damn," he grumbles as he lets go of me and shuffles out of bed. I curl up in the comforter and watch him walk out the door. I listen as the front door opens then closes. Where the fuck does he have to be in such a hurry? I turn over and look at the digital clock, 8am. Where the fuck does he have to be at 8 in the damn morning?

I try everything I can to ignore the nagging thoughts. Yet they wiggle their fingers into my brain, threading their devilish thinking into my head. 'he isn't cheating, he isn't cheating, he isn't cheating' I chant. It makes no sense to me, if a man was cheating why would he rush out the house at 8am. Its hardly a logical conclusion but damn if I don’t think it anyway.

"God, I'm terrible," I grumble for the 100th time. I trust him, I do! The dark inkiness of doubt still dribbles into my thinking. He hasn’t touched me in weeks, he isn't around recently, we don’t talk as much, and he rushed out this morning. How am I suppose to not think something bad?

It isn't till nearly sunset does he come back. He enters from the back door like usual and scavengers through the kitchen. I hear the fridge open and him shuffle through items. The tinging and clanking of condiments and drawers.

"You know where the leftover sausage is," he calls out.

"Bottom drawer, green lid," I answer. There is more shuffling till a drawer is closed with finality.

"Great, thanks," he calls back. More noises play about the house as he fixes his meal. I sit on the couch biting my lip. I have to talk to him, do what Trina said and just ask him.

Like a coward I avoid the confrontation," How was your day?"

"Fine, yours was probably more entertaining since you had the day off," he walks into the living room holding a plate. He sits down at the recliner and set his food on the plate. I observe him, having noticed he isn't sitting next to me like he usually does. He shovels the sausages down his throat like an animal. If I wasn’t so moody I would have laughed, even make a joke about it, but here I am. He notices me staring and eyes me confused, "What?"

I watch him for a second longer then turn away," nothing. My day was fine."

"Just fine? Didn’t do anything eventful on your first day off in, what, a month? I cant imagine you didn’t have fun lounging about," he finishes off another meat cord.

"just fine," I answer shortly. I know I'm doing the opposite of what I wanted to do, talk with him. I cant help it, I keep giving him the cold shoulder even though I started the conversation.

Out the corner of my eye I see him watching me," Babe, what's up?"

"Nothing," I lie.

"Babe," he growls. I turn towards him with a fake innocent look and shrug. I look back over to the tv and continue acting like an insolent child. He shifts out the corner of my eye and leans on his knees. He watches me for a moment, perhaps trying to find clues. "What's wrong, I know you aren't fine. Was it work? Did something happen," he tries to pry.

"Nothing happened, I'm fine," I snap at him. I take the chance to glance over him, regretting it when I see his sneer.

"Clearly you aren't fine, what is wrong," he snaps back. We haven't been together that long but this might be our first fight. He has never snapped at me or I him.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine," I find myself shouting.

He stand from his chair," Stop fucking saying that! I want to know what's wrong so I can fix it!"

I stand with him," Who says you have to fix this? I'm a big girl, I don’t need your help with everything!"

"So you admit you aren't fine since you said there is a problem I don’t need to fix," he points at me.

"No, I wasn’t implying that I wasn't fine. I'm just saying that I'm an independent woman who doesn’t need some man swooping in and saving me," I clarify. This argument is off track, I'm not positive what we are exactly fighting about or what I'm angry with.

"I never said I was swooping in to save you. I just want to hear about your day that seems so bad! Why are you yelling at me," he crosses his arms.

"I'm not yelling," I shout.

"Yes you are," he shouts back.

"Then I'm only yelling because you are!"

"But you started yelling first," he rubs his face," lets start over, I'm losing track of what's happening." he massages his eyes before dropping his hands." Babe," he starts softly," what is wrong?"

"Nothing. Is. Wrong," I growl.

He huffs," Fucking aye! What is wrong?"

"Nothing," I cross my arms.

"what is wrong," he repeats as he steps closer.

"Nothing," I say again as I turn away from him.

"What is wrong," he crowds me to the sofa. I take a step back and fall on the cushions. He takes the chance to frame my head with his arms, resting his hands to the back of the couch. "I will ask you one more time. What is wrong," he says slowly. I glare up at him with a stubborn amount of distaste. I have no idea where its coming from but I hold onto it.

"Not-," he interrupts me with a growl. Instead I twist away from him with my arms folded. I glare down at his arms noticing that even when we are arguing he barely wants to touch me. I sigh as my shoulders sag. I nibble on my cheek as I take in the details of his fur. I find myself reaching out and tracing my finger over them. He jerks his arm back out of reach.

"why wont you touch me," I mumble to myself.

"what," he asks.

I turn towards him with a knot in my throat," why wont you touch me?" he looks startled by my question, his eye wide and mouth parted.

"What," he furrows his brows.

"You heard me," I bite my cheek to keep my voice steady," you have barely touched me all month and you have been out and about all day, coming to bed late almost every night since. The only time you have touched me was at night but even then if I try to start something you turn around and go to sleep. So I'll ask again, why wont you touch me?" he stares down at me dumbfounded for a solid few seconds. It’s a bit annoying watching him look so confused.

"What," he asks again. I growl at his answer and push off the couch, shoving him out of the way.

"Fucking aye, its not a hard question," I fold into myself as I stand on the other side of the room. I rest my back to the wall and watch him just from the corner of my eye. He stands by the couch like an idiot, lost and confused.

"sorry, I'm just a bit caught off guard," he answered dazed.

I scoff," we don’t have sex for about a month and some change and your caught off guard because I wonder why."

"a month and some change," he mumbles to himself," Damn." he rubs his eyes again and looks up to the ceiling.

"Listen, if you don’t want me you can just leave because I rather not be strung along for mont-," I startle when he crosses the room quickly. He interrupts me by grabbing me from the wall and pressing his lips to mine with too much force. His teeth clank against mine and his incisors poke the corner of my mouth a bit too hard. He holds firm, not moving at all as he forces this on me.

He pulls back with a little blood on the edge of lip," I have never stopped wanting you so lets make that very clear right now." I lick at my lips as I stare at him wide eyed. I taste a bit of copper but its not an alarming amount. I cant bring myself to care since he displayed such a convincing argument.

"But," I start," you have been basically avoiding me all week."

"Yes, but its not because I didn’t want you. I was busy dealing with a terror around the neighborhood. Its taken up a lot of my time this week and I've been rather tired," he answers simply.

"A terror," I ask confused.

"yea, some cougar has migrated down the mountain and has been killing the pets around here. I didn’t want it to hurt you so I started hunting it," he clarifies. For a second I'm distracted by the idea of a cougar lurking around the neighborhood.

I get back on subject," Then why did you leave so quickly this morning?"

His lips quirk for a second," I was meeting with an old buddy, she knew what to do with the cougar once I caught it. I promised I'd meet her around 8am, I was a bit late. I figured you would be working so we would wake up because your alarm, I was wrong."

"Ok, but you haven't initiated anything all month. You said the cougar was all week," I counter not really knowing why I feel like winning this argument. Such a bad habit to have.

He has the decency to look sad as he pets up my arm," I'm sorry, I didn’t know that was hurting you. If I knew sooner I would have had you many times by now." he pulls me closer as he settles his hands on my lower back.

"Why haven't you to begin with," I ask with a wilt in my voice. He hums as he pets some hair out of my face.

"You have been so busy with work that I didn’t feel right trying to convince you to fuck me if you were so tired. I want my mate to be happy, even if that means putting off my needs so she gets a full nights rest," he nuzzles along my forehead, humming as he does.

"You thought I was too tired to have sex? Babe, I've been tormenting myself all week because I thought I was losing your interest but you were just being considerate," I scoff as I bang my head to his shoulder. I feel like such an idiot.

"You thought I was losing interest in you? My mate, my love, my sexually frustrated female. I will want you always," he growls with affirmation.

I rub my cheek to him with a self-deprecating sigh," I just thought I lost my appeal, that you might want something closer to home. Your exes are nothing like me." his large hands rub up and down my back as his chest vibrates with a comforting hum.

"Of course you are nothing like them, you are my mate. They weren't, and never will be. You, my love, are one of a kind," he presses little kisses and nibbles to my neck," I don’t think you understand what I mean when I call you my mate. I claimed you that first night, you remember?" I nod," 'No one is taking you away. I will have you always because you are mine,'" he repeats those words that made my skin feel hot. "I wasn’t just blowing snot, when I call you my mate I mean you are my one and only. The love of my life, my shinning star, my best friend, and my lover forever. Do you get that now," he leans back. I look up at his determined eyes and feel even more ridiculous doubting him.

"So a mate is like a wife," I ask still a bit perplexed.

"Best comparison I can think of," he nods. I smile to myself but then think about.

"You declared me as your one and only the first night we met," I snap at him," thinking with you prick before your head again?" he chuckles when I slap his shoulder.

"sometimes we are in agreement," he continues to laugh. This big fucking ape is going to be the death of me and I know it.

"you never asked if I wanted to be mates with you," I scold half-heartedly. At the time, probably would have said no. right now, I'd say yes because I adore this big idiot.

"Why would I have needed to," he leans down and licks my cheek," you were begging for a lot of things that night."

I pop him lightly on the cheek," you are exhausting."

He chuckles along with me," well, I'm about to be more exhausting because I need to make up for lost time." before I could ask he reaches behind my thighs and lifts. I startle, grabbing on to his arms to not fall.

"Babe," I cry as he wraps my legs around himself.

"Yes, love," he quirks a brow with a big smile. He walks us out the room and to the stairs, taking two at a time as he leads us to our room. He rest me down on the bed with care then crawls over me with his imposing size. I cant help but smile up at him, feeling more adored this day than in the past month.

I reach up and cup his face," I'm sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner, also for doubting you."

He turns his face and kisses my palm," it's fine. Just remember that when I do something stupid in the future." I playfully scowl at him.

"You plan on doing something stupid in the future," my lips quirk.

He leans down and presses kisses to my collar," I don’t plan on it, just comes out sometimes." I pap his cheek with an unbelieved smile. This man will be the death of me.

"Alright," I pull him back to look him in the eyes," Now are you going to make sweet love to your ignorant mate?"

He hums with lidded eyes," don’t I always?"

--------------------------

This story was longer than i remember, but i stand by it. I have the biggest issue with writing couples fighting. i never fought in any of my relationships so i don’t know how to go about it. i googled it and some reasons couples fight is lack of intimacy...also unbalance chore duties. so i happened to read a story on how someone thought their partner was cheating but they were just so busy with work. a bunch of google searches later i have this.

Check out my Archive | Masterlist | Main Blog

#bigfoot #monster boyfriend #exophilia #Enigma-IM #couples fighting #angst #fluff #misunderstandings

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kibybun · 4 years

Text

The Feeling is Mutual

Yandere Hawks x Yandere + Tsundere reader

Tw: yandere, obsession, stalking, cussing, violence, murder

Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------

You were currently running for your life. Why? Because you're a badass. But really, a sleazy pervert thought he had the right to touch you. Too bad, you punch quite hard.

"Get back here you little bitch!" The pervert was definitely strong due to his muscular build but you were definitely fast.

Thundering footsteps take the quiet alley by storm as you start to pull ahead of him.

"Go suck a dick, you bag of cat piss!" You look back to mock him but your feet disapprove. Your face scrapes against the lose gravel along with your hands and knees. "Fuck...."

"Wanna repeat yourself?" He comes to a stop at your side, bends down, and yanks you up by your hair.

"You disgusting bag of cat piss!" Once again you're too cocky for your own good. You spit in his face and he throws you against the wall.

"Little bitch!" He wipes his face before grabbing your throat, pinning you to the wall, and raising his fist.

"Do it, you bag of cat piss!"

His face fumes red as he tries to hit you, only to be stopped by vivid red feathers.

"What the hell?" His grip on you loosens so you take the opportunity to kick him in his precious no-no square. He collapses in pain and grovels on the ground.

"Hehe do I get a thanks for saving that pretty face of yours?" You instantly feel your blood boil but as you look at your "savior" the only thing you feel heat up are your cheeks.

His whole appearance was absolutely delicious but what caught you most was how god damn beautiful his wings are.

"Hehe what's wrong, like what you see?" This over grow chicken then takes it upon himself to flex his arms and wings.

You scoff. "Nope." 'What. The. Fuck. What's wrong with you me!?!' You turn to hide your blushing face to help imply your unimpressed demeanor.

"Owwww you wound me! Anyway why were you running from that guy, doll?" You choke on the air, trying to register the pet name he gave you.

"Pfft doll? Try coming up with something more original, stranger." As you make your witty remark, both of you fail to notice the pervert silently escaping. It wasnt like he mattered anyway.

"Fair point, angel. Name's Hawks." He holds out a hand for you to shake. Somehow this name was even more cheesy but you loved it.

"As if that's better..." 'Shut the hell up with your sass!'

You go to shake Hawks' hand but before you can grab his, he grabs yours. He swiftly but gently pulls your hand to his lips to place a kiss atop of it. You snatched your hand away at mock speed.

Embarrassed and flustered to manage to stutter out, "H-hey! That's disgusting! I still have no idea who the hell you are!" But you loved it oh so much.

He merely laughs. "Well you can trust me, plus I dont know who you are so, what's your name?"

"What do you mean 'you can trust me'?"

"Awe, ignoring my question? Anyway what I mean by that is I'm pretty trustworthy. Being number 2. hero and all." Hawks leisurely puts his hands behind his head.

All you felt was utter shock. Not only did the number 2. hero come and "rescue" you but he has been FLIRTING with you.

"So? I still dont know who you are." 'Oh my god, you absolute idiot you have no hope.' But he just laughs it off.

"Still a valid point so let's make a deal. I give you my first name and you give me yours plus your number." You have to stop yourself from gagging at how adorable and cheesy that was.

You give him a deer in the headlights look.

"Oh c'mon! I'm basically putting my whole identity on the line and all I'm asking is for your digits plus a name."

"But why?" 'Stop questioning it and take it!'

"Why not?" You give a final scoff before mumbling something. "Can you repeat that a little louder angel?"

"(y/n)."

"(y/n). (y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n)."

"What the hell are you doing? Stop saying my name." 'No, please keep saying it.'

"I'm saying it eight times so I never forget it. Cuz, ya know, eight on its side is the infinity symbol." He smiles the most innocent and pure smile anyone could make.

Your heart squeezes as you cant handle this. "That's dumb..."

"Maybe but you still need to give me your number."

"Name first."

"Ooo assertive, I like!" He steps closer causing you to step back.

'Please come closer.'

Very quickly your back hits the wall and Hawks brings his face dangerously close to your ear.

"Keigo." His voice was deep and had the effect of honey in your ear. It happened slowly leaving the sound stuck in your ear yet still traveling through your body.

As quickly as it happened, Keigo had pulled away and passed you his phone.

"Keep my name a secret, 'kay?" He smiles and winks only causeing you to function less and less.

"Whatever..." You put in your number and name, passing the phone back to Keigo.

"Thanks angel! I'd love to text you right away but I'm still on patrol so be sure to look out for my text later!" He swoops up your hand again to give it another kiss before flying off.

"Hey!" His response was laughter. As you begin to walk back towards your destination your face cools and you hold your hand close.

'He's suck a dummy but he's my dummy.'

Around 6:30 pm you receive a text from an unknown number.

'Hey angel.'

'Hey over grown chicken.' "Why the hell are you being so mean?!"

'lol are you calling me big?'

'Nope, tiny with succulent wings.'

'So you're only using me for my wings?! 😭'

'Yup!'

'Daw you dont need to lie to me angel.'

'But lying is so fun~'

'So you were lying!'

'....shit.'

'Ha! I knew I was irresistible.'

'Irresistible to carnivores.'

'You're an omnivore.'

'I have amazing self control.'

'Oh? prove it.'

'Pfft how?"

You leave the kitchen with your snack and plop on your bed. You were too engrossed in your conversation with Keigo that you didnt notice him peering through your window.

He simply adored how you try to contain how happy you become when you get a message from him.

Now was the test to see if you truely had amazing self control. Your phone buzzes and you quickly switch to your messages only to nearly die.

Inches from your face was the sexiest abb picture you've ever seen. His body was so well toned and to add to the picture his wings make up most of the background with very little blue sky poking through.

You were too distracted oogling and drooling over a simple picture it took a moment before you noticed his next texts.

'How's that self control treating ya?'

'I bet you're drooling over me.'

You pout, send a reply, and set your phone down.

'I think I'm a vegan now.'

After a second Keigo can notice the panic on your face as a faint "was that too mean?" was heard.

'Then I guess I'm the forbidden fruit.'

You bite your lip as you switch over to social media. Before your little banter started you were stalking his accounts. You didnt follow him or like any of his posts so he wouldnt be given that satisfaction but you truely did like them.

The only thing you disliked was how there were other girls who thought they could ever get with YOUR Hawks. He asked YOUR number and gave YOU his name. Clearly he was yours.

'Hey, you still there?'

'I like forbiden fruit. I have to shower. I'll text you in the morning, sweet dreams❤'

Keigo's heart flutters at the simple message. He flies home to shower as well.

While in the shower you slowly think of ways to eliminate the girls who think they can look at your Darling.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks have passed and have you been a little busy bee. You had to work to sustain life but you made it to every event your beloved was at. You made it to every meet and greet, interview, photoshoot, villain attack, his window at night. It really helped that you have a stealth quirk, so that way you wont be entirely in debt!

It wasnt like Keigo to not notice he was being followed, he knew exactly what you were doing, but he felt too endeared that his angel was watching out for him. He was also quite impressed on how you were able to sneak into his interviews and photoshoots.

Keigo felt guilty not being able to give you the attention you deserve but he tries to make up for it by watching you on his patrols and after you leave his house to go to sleep.

Tonight was no different as Keigo was perched on your apartment balcony. You liked to sleep with the curtains drawn back so you can see the stars but you always forgot to lock that door. Did you ever lock it?

Keigo silently fusses over how dangerous that is as he opens the door and kneels down at the side of your bed. His left hand holds on of yours as his right cups your face.

He was addicted to watching your sleeping face. So innocent. Plus he got a break from your adorable tsundere additude. Dont get him wrong, he loved it just he desires affection too.

He slowly retracts his hands to pull out his phone to take a picture. He probably had hundreds of pictures of your sleeping face but he needed to document everything. Tonight you must be having a bad dream, evident by the fact your eyebrows were scrunched and you sticking your tongue out ever so slightly.

"You need to stop being so adorable angel." He takes his pictures and kisses you forehead.

He wanted nothing more than to cuddle you but he had an extra early patrol. He slides the door to your balcony closed and flies off.

When you wake up with your mouth dryer than a desert. "Blah..." You grab your phone and text Keigo.

'Goodmorning early bird.'

You knew he'd be awake. You had memorized his schedule. Today after patrol he had a meet and greet then a photoshoot.

'Morning beautiful.'

You truely cant help smiling and blushing at all the cute things he says to you.

'How'd you sleep?'

'What's this? Concern????'

You roll your eyes at his teasing continue to eat your breakfast.

'Keep teasing me and it wont happen again.'

'lol sorry angel, I slept ok but it would've been better with you~'

Did he just say that? Oh my god he just said that.

(y/n). exe has stopped working. As your brain starts to reboot, your phone pings.

'How'd you sleep?'

The witty comments part of your brain was still rebooting, preventing the tsundere in you to actually work.

'Maybe if we spent the night together we'd sleep better.'

Now this caught Keigo off guard. He expected to be called a pervert or weirdo. Not for you to agree.

'Do you maybe wanna watch a movie tonight?'

He gotta shoot his shot sometime. Why not now?

Your brain could not comprehend what was happening. Were you dreaming? No, your sure you're awake. Was he joking? No, he didn't seem like the type to jokingly ask that. Maybe the world was just rewarding you for being so dedicated and loyal. That's probably it.

'Where and when?'

Keigo does a few flips in the sky to try and ease his excitement. Too bad that fails. "Its a date!"

'6 @ my place?'

'You better pick me up on time and have dinner prepared.'

'Anything for you angel!'

"Oh my fucking god it's a date." You jump up and down excited, running to your closet to pick out your outfit.

Since it wasnt a fancy restaurant or anything you decide to go more casual. A cute sundress maybe? Either way you put on your outfit and head out the door to go to your darling's meet and greet. It wasnt too far from your apartment so you were able to take a leisurely stroll there.

As you arrive you see the big crowd already forming. You didnt want to get your outfit dirty so you decide to stay more towards the back. A peppy blonde girl pushes you slightly to the side.

"Bitch.." you mumbled under your breath.

"Uh what did you just say?"

Not wanting to embarrass Keigo or have him have to separate a girl fight you decide to step down. "Nothing."

"Good choice bitch."

As the two of you reach the middle of the crowd, the girl takes out her phone. It was hard not to ease drop when she is purposely talking in your ear.

"Hawks is so hot. I bet he has a big dick too. Maybe after this he'll let me take some of that stress off of him~!" She puffs her chest out trying to get a reaction from you.

On the outside you're calm and collected but inside all hell was breaking lose. You wanted to snap her neck, pull out her fingernails, and slice off her tits.

Seeing as you're unfazed she continues. "I bet he'd be screaming how good I make him feel. He'd ask for my number and I'd break his heart. He is just a hunky of meat after all."

That's it.

You activate your stealth quirk and she questions where you went. You pull out a knife you always have on you, just in case, and glide it against her throat in a swift but silent manner. She collapses to the ground and a shrill scream sounds, alerting everyone near.

Before you run, you look at Keigo. His eyes meet yours. You know he can see you even if you were invisible. You know he knows you just killed her. His face holds disbelief but his eyes shimmer and smile for him.

You run from the crime scene and wash the blood from your hands.

Six o-clock slowly arrives and there was a knock on your door. You know its Keigo but you dont know how he found your adress. Opening the door you see him smiling so brightly.

"My little angel shed her white wings!" He traps you in a hug. You gladly hug him back.

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not! You did it for me didnt you?" You look up at him and nod. "Then its perfectly fine." He smiles at you before picking you up bridal style and closing your door.

"We better hurry, dinner is getting cold."

Loosely based on my Stalker x Stalker headcanons! Thank you so much for reading, have an amazing day!

Kiby~💚

#keigo tamaki #my hero academia keigo takami #bnha #bnha hawks #yandere x yandere #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere hawks

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spaceysp · 3 years

Note

Saying random stuff to feed into the hyperfixations; pick one of these statements to rant about because I wanna read :)) if u want,

How skeppy must feel with everyone meeting up cause BaD JUST COME ON ,

Opinions on bad planning to take skeppy to dinner and all that jazz ,

Skeppys newest video on the skep channel where bad and skeppy are surprisingly sweet to eachother (and how lately in general bad has been less angee with him) ,

Literally the whole discount skeppy situation , bad being literally in love,

Ride with U,,,,,hetero,,,,explanation,,,, anywhere?

ANONNNNN I OWE YOU MY LIFE ILY

im literally going to talk about all of these so im sorry but read more at your own risk

one: skeppy, i am so sorry a mf does this to you. but seriously, i can only think of a few reasons (that dont sound entirely made for fanfic) that bad keeps putting off meeting skeppy

1. (the most unlikely) theyve already met and they keep the bit going so the fans dont find out. i can get that they wouldnt want to tell at first because its their own business, but i seriously doubt they would wait very long to confirm it, because ppl honestly can put a lot of pressure and hype on the meetup (esp with skeppy’s “surprise”) so i think theyd release something just so everyone knew that it finally happened! they didnt lie!

2. bad just doesnt want to meet skeppy (actually nvm this is the most unlikely)

bad seems to be genuinely excited to meet skeppy, even claiming skeppys the one to keep putting it off, not him (which skeppy immediately disproved but) and saying over and over he wants to meet up with him, but always avoiding actually making plans (every single tweet about the meetup) so its clear he does want to meet skeppy eventually, which makes trying to figure out why he wont even harder

3. its not the right time/ waiting for a specific date

leading up to this, i was thinking that there was a pretty good chance theyd meet up on their anniversary, but that never happened rip. the issue is with this is that they guaranteed they would meet up before the end of the year, and at this point theres only one “event” left, but they still dont seem to have any plans to meet. if bad was waiting for the perfect time to do it, why not just tell skeppy to confirm a meetup date? it would get him (and maybe the fans, if they told them) off his back. another variant of this is that there is a set date, but they havent told the public, but again, skeppy seems to be just as much in the dark about this as everyone else

4. health issues

bads apparently been feeling pretty under the weather lately, with his arm and kidney stones, its very plausible (and reccomended, imo) that bad doesnt want to travel when hes having these problems. of course, skeppy could visit, but he could either not want to spend their time together sick or the plans they have could also be too straining. i think this is probably one of the most likely atm, go see a doctor bbh im begging you

5. bads nervous

this is also one of the more plausible to me. for whatever reason, bads just anxious about it, whether it wont be the same as talking online, or be super awkward or whatever, he could just keep putting it off for that (its still weird and kinda doesnt make sense but in a more realistic way this time)

i know i totally went off track but this brings me to my point, skeppys kinda just waiting for bads confirmation at this point, so seeing his friends have fun meeting up is probably just lowkey depressing and i could see him using it as more the reason they should meet up. really the only thing he can do in this situation(at least, as far as i can tell) is what he has been doing, annoy bad about it or he take advantage of bads jealousy and meet up with someone else. the other option is to randomly come to his house, but it doesnt seem like skeppy is gonna do that, maybe to respect his boundaries? if he was planning on it i think he wouldve done it by now

OKAY NUMBER TWO LETS GO

this kinda ties into my point in the “reasons why bad wont meet skeppy” thing, that bad seems really excited to meet him yet still wont?? its clear he really values any time spent with skeppy, but he also make sure skeppys having a good time too! that why he never does any actual work with skeppy around (i.e. building statues or gathering materials for such), he knows its boring so instead theyll wander around the server telling stupid stories or punching each other off stairs for 20 minutes. im sure itll be the same irl, he mentioned wanting to meet somewhere like a nature reserve or amusement park, probably to make sure theres never a dull moment or time wasted. dinner seems much more low-key, and i wouldnt be surprised if bad just wanted to have an excuse to try and impress him with a nice totally-platonic date

NUMbeR tHree *airhorns*

they really do be the best of friends! ive noticed that skeppys def been trying to halt arguments fairly quickly now, saying a lot to appease bad and move on, and while bad seems to like to start fights for fun, hes also been a lot more chill lately, im guessing because hes been oh-so desperately missing skeppy and big s was also in Baby mode (aka if bad disagreed with him hed probably just cry until he got his way((sand))) i think that vid just showed them being a lot more natural and happy to talk (plus bad usually is more argumentative when theyre competing, while in that vid they were either just hanging out or working towards a common goal)

n u m b e r f o u r

where to even BEGIN with discount skeppy. well, bad actually first came up this idea a few months ago, in either july or august on an idots smp stream when he crafted an ‘artificial skeppy’ in his snack shack that he could talk to whenever skeppy was gone. as we all know idots smp is now rip, but the idea of replacement skeppys remained, just this time they can talk and also ship skephalo. it actually seemed like more of puffys idea at first when she put on skeppys skin as a joke, which bad didnt like the first few times, but when she brought it up again he actually requested it (missing skeppy brainrot 🤔?) this could be either cuz bad wanted to bait some shippers so gave in or he thought it was a pretty funny bit so went along with it (or he actually missed skeppy that much.. surely not ??) either way i think we can agree puffy is not only a comedic genius but a top tier friend and slight wingman, and getting some good jealous skeppy content out of it is also top tier. in conclusion, love and appreciate discount skeppy, badboyhalo has only skeppy on his brain and his friends have to deal with that, hoes (skeppy) mad even though the whole bit is how much bbh is into him

NUMBER FIVE im really doing all of them

What, can be said, about ride with u. GODDAMN. im not tryna insinuate anything, but if someone told me that song reminded them of me i would have no choice but to marry them immediately. i really really want someone to ask bad what songs remind him of any of his other friends (dream, sapnap, george, ant, puffy, etc.) because there are three options

1. theyre just cool platonic friend songs and bad is just in love with skeppy

2. he cant think of any songs for them and bad is just In Love with skeppy

3. they have equal romantic undertones and bad is just Like That with his friends (even so i bet people would be picking out the most minute differences between the songs that make one more.. You Know than the other)

i know FOR SURe that if i was in bads position (where even the person who made the lyric video assumed they were gay in love) i wouldve curled into a ball and never made another public appearance again, but he really owned that shit, singing it and making unprompted references to it (”i already have a bonnie” YOU AINT SLICK SIR WTF)

i just wanna know if skeppys listened to it (i mean, hes surely at least heard of it, i know he wouldve seen it all over his timeline) and what he thonks about it. pls tell us big s do you also feel the love in this chilis tonight (ALSO when is someone gonna ask skeppy what song reminds him of bad. im waiting ((hed probably say something like a faster remix or something equally memey (((unless???)))

ANYWAY SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL OF THAT HOLY SHIT i dont wanna reread this to check for errors so it might be incoherent but again ty for letting me infodump about this it was super fun im in love with you anon

#tw caps

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many-gay-magpies · 4 years

Text

Smh i should really stop talking to my mom about anxiety/mental stuff because every time it only makes me feel worse

I love my mom a lot but like . sometimes there are just things that get on my nerves even though i love her. I kinda feel bad because like she tries so hard to understand and says she understands and I know she DOES to a degree so I feel bad for lowkey thinking like the whiny teenager all like "yOu DoN't UnDeRsTaNd Me" sometimes, y'know? Like the bottom line is our brains just work really really differently a lot of the time and she either wants to believe or genuinely believes that they dont

Every time I talk to her about my (non-clinical, probably) anxiety and what caused it (this girl bullying me for six years) she goes on to mention all the ways she was bullied as a kid and all the terrible shit she's gone through to say in the end "so I understand" when like all of that shit is way different from my experience so every time she says it inside I'm just like "yes but actually no"

Like, today i was talking about my bully to her and how I've started realizing that all my responses now are responses i was forced to give as a kid because of the situation i was in with my bully, and she went in depth and told me (all stuff she had already told me about before and also when i had been talking about my anxiety stuffs before) about how her mom forced her to sleep in curlers so she would have banana curls and made her wear dresses and how she got mugged really bad when she was older and all this stuff that is very valid trauma and sucks ass and i thank her for trying to understand me but at the same time all the shit that happened to her was surface level. Neither of us could control what was happening to us, because her mom made her dress like that and I couldn't just make this girl suddenly not have issues, but like a dress is still something you can change??? Take off??? Like it isnt attatched to you as a person. I cant change the fact that i exist, which this girl bullying me apparently hated me for. To her my existence was just like "oh i must hurt this person" not because of what i wore, what i looked like, etc etc.

She also kept subtly bringing up the fact that i had never been PHYSICALLY hurt by my bully and implying that because she HAD her pain was worse and i could have had it worse if my bully physically hurt me and ACTED on the threats to hurt me (which my mom's bullies did) and while yes that was true . My bully didn't threaten to physically hurt me at all so there were no threats TO act on she just talked to me like i was shit all the time and beat my self esteem about my personality into a meaningless pulp . I kind of wanted to scream in my moms face "YOUR PAIN WAS MOSTLY PHYSICAL WHILE MINE WAS EMOTIONAL, BOTH ARE VALID AND DIFFERENT" but i know she does know that-- but maybe it would have gotten the point across idk

I wish so badly that i could just tell my mom "I dont want/need you to understand, i just need you to be here" and like i could but . I'm not there yet

(Warning ahead, I'm sorry if this gets really long but like I wanna get it off my chest before i go to sleep bcs i feel like ill sleep better if i do)

Another thing that annoys me is that??? Every time??? I say something??? Or tell her how I'm feeling at the moment??? She just asks me??? "Why?"??? And yes its good to talk about stuff but I'm trying to explain to you in a polite way why i want to leave the conversation and that its making me uncomfortable and i just want to go to bed and you just go "but why are you uncomfortable?" Or like if i tell her I'm upset and i want to stop talking about it she goes "why are you upset? I dont want you to be upset" and I'm just. I literally just said i dont want to talk about this anymore can i please leave you cant control that I'm upset about this because continuing talking to you is just going to make me more upset because no matter what way i try to explain it i cant get my points across right to you and i dont want to say you dont understand bcs thats immature but you kind of dont understand

I want to tell her "This conversation isnt having the outcome i wanted it to have and i want to leave it before it makes me more upset so that i can go think on it for later" but I'm sure if i do. that shed just go "but WHY arent you happy with the conversation tell me so i can fix it" and if i tell her blatantly what is making me unhappy (the fact that she keeps saying she understands and pouring stories of her traumas onto me to "prove" that she understands) then she's going to guilt trip me when were talking in the future by emphasizing the fact that i dont like when she talks a certain way and be all like "oh i wont tell you about my OWN experiences though because you said you don't LIKE when I DO that" and i just hhhhhh

Like every time i tell her she doesnt understand and try to explain it in a way that she WILL and it'll finally click it just. Doesn't and it makes me feel so defeated because every time i do that she just circles back around to "well i experienced all these types of trauma so i totally understand" and i appreciate the effort but that just isnt the kind of support i needed to make me feel content

And also when i was talking to her tonight i told her about a specific instance that happened in like 1rst or 4th grade where I was crying because the girl bullying me was just in one of those. Bad Moods™ where like she hated me for existing and talked to me like i was a piece of trash she had stepped in or smth and then she and a couple other kids asked me WHY I WAS CRYING and I didn't want to tell her "hey I'm crying because you keep hurting me and i dont want you to" because if i said that she would just hurt me MORE so i made up a lie on the spot and said that my parents had a small argument (I'm a sensitive kid and will cry at the barest hint of conflict between my parents so it checked out) and i was crying because of it and . Out of that ENTIRE STORY the one thing my mom zeroed in on was the fact that i told a lie that "painted my parents in a bad light"

Just. Like. Yeah. It did. But I wasn't even thinking about that at the moment?? Like it didn't even cross my mind??? The only thing i was thinking about was that i was scared and in danger and i probably would have said anything to get OUT of that danger (as fake or ill-perceived it might have been). But no, even later on after i had explained that in basically those exact words she still went back around to say "oh if it was bad enough that you told a lie about your parents to get out of it then she REALLY fucked you up"

Which??? By the way??? Is a whole other reason why i try not to talk to my mom about this shit??? Because every time i open up about it and want to have a conversation in a more logical/organized/"well here's the situation and here's what we can do about it" kind of way she always turns it around and says stuff like "damn [REDACTED] really fucked you up didn't she" and "I didn't know it was that bad"/"I didn't know it effected you that bad, you should have said something!" which. Makes me Feel Bad™, for some reason way more than my dad excitedly talking about reptile and monkey brains and how stuff that happened to us in the past is engrained into our brain and still effects us now, like instinct

She also always turns all of my stuff talking about emotions into "oh you're just a teenager" "you're pms'ing" "you'll grow out of it later"

Like one time i told her that her mind was always in the past or the future, always worrying about the past or the future, never in the present, in response to her worrying a bunch about something and how i had my mind in the present more often and her response was something along the lines of "well you're like that because you're young and a teenager, you CAN stay thinking in the present because you dont have all that stuff to worry about like an adult does, I'm an adult and i work a bunch so i constantly have stuff to worry about" and like. Yeah theres some solidity to that. But also i literally talked about that exact thing with my dad and HE said her brain was always in the past/future and never the present so I'm pretty sure its not just a teen vs adult thing

And then towards the end of this whole thing when i had finally managed to tell her "hey I'm uncomfortable in this conversation can i please leave and go to bed" and even further explained that it was because i went into this wanting to have a more casual/logic-based talk rather than an emotional discussion and . she's kind of of the mind that "why did you bring it up if you didn't want to have a deep emotional discussion about it" and I'm just HHHNNNNGGGG but also i actually DIDNT mention it, first i was mentioning how id been having sensory overload lately and how certain sounds of words hurt and then she said i should have a doctor check that out and then i said "I've been reading up on anxiety and sensory overload is a part of that so i figured that's just what it was" (bcs my dad gets sensory overload a lot too) which then ensued a ten-minute conversation about how i probably dont have clinical anxiety because mine isnt as bad as/like all the many, many people my mom has known who DO have it (throughout which i kept trying to tell her "just social anxiety exists too tho" to which she would respond "yea but u dont have these symptoms of general anxiety so i dont think u have it" and while i hope and think i dont i was just like HHHHHHH because i mean social anxiety and by social anxiety I DO NOT MEAN GENERAL ANXIETY YOU CAN HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY WITHOUT HAVING GENERAL at least i think idk i might be wrong) which i ended by saying "i probably dont have clinical anxiety but i do believe my brain has been wired to react to certain situations based on how i had to react to those situations for six years" which then lead to me talking more about my bully and my mom pretty much siphoning as much emotional vulnerability and opening up out of me as she could

And then at the end i told her "can i please leave i kind of feel like crying and i dont want to do it in front of a person at the moment" (because I haven't cried in a few months and i feel like I'm in need of a good cry tbh which in itself is something she doesnt really understand) which lead her to go "why do you feel like crying now I'm worried for you" and HHHHHHEBDJBEHNDEJHBDNEHDBEH yeah--

There's probably more i could say but I'm not going to, because its almost 1 am and while i had actually been about to sleep early at like ten she ended up roping me into an hour or two long talk about emotions, which is. Fun. And i have to get up in six hours so I'm going to go to bed. Sorry if this was a mess which I'm sure it is, i really just needed to get this out there lol

Also when i went to my dad after this to say goodnight (i actually like talking to my dad abt this stuff a lot since his brain and mine are just really similar) he gave me this lil smile and just said "deep breaths" and that made me feel better

#magpie thoughts #and at the end she started doing that thing where she acts silly to try and make me happy and not feel like crying which is a good sentiment #but like i WANTED to cry tonight and now im not in the mood anymore #magpie rants

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doof-doofblog · 4 years

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"... Till There's Absolutely Nothing Left!"

Monday 28th September 2020

Good evening everyone! Hope you've all had an enjoyable weekend! As of today I will back being up to date with my blog posts. I'm looking forward to seeing what this week of episodes have in store! Let's not waste any time and jump right into it!

Tonight's episode started with Max still looking for Ian, Max is wanting to get his hands on his money, he's already fuming at Ian for dodging him and ignoring him. Ian has come up with excuses upon excuses to Max for not being able to get his money to him urgently. As Max leaves after having a word with Kathy, Ian is seen peering behind the door-frame, as if he's been hiding from Max, which we know he is - he's avoiding him like the plaque! Ian is such a weasel isn't he? Why doesn't he just grow a pair and admit to Max the truth, it's only a matter of truth before all his secrets come out!

Meanwhile, Gray and Karen are catching up at the club. Karen informs Gray that Mitch is currently sleeping at the salon as he's not welcome at the house for having doubts about Gray. Gray tries to ask Karen not to act harshly on Mitch, as everyone is still grieving for Chantelle. Karen can't believe he's sticking up for the man who's basically accused him of murder, it's then she turns to him and says "You're such a good man!" ... the only thing my brain is saying is "If only you knew Karen, if only you knew!" Ooooo I can't wait for Gray to be found out, it's going to be SO good when he finally gets seen for the murderer he truly is!

Oh yes! At the hospital, Denise is still watching over her biological son, Raymond. Ellie seems to be surprised that Denise is back visiting him, as they chat she informs him that Raymond made it through the night and he seems to be slowly recovering. Denise is visibly relieved, Ellie also seems surprised by her reaction. - I'm not 100% sure what to make of Ellie, it's been revealed she's going to be a type of villain? I have my speculations about this current storyline, I'm really excited to see where it's going to go, but something tells me it'll be a battle of who gets custody of the young child. I think, perhaps, Denise will try and get Phil on side - if she tells him everything she knows about the adoptive family passing away, Phil will probably do the right thing and help Denise get custody of her son. But how is Phil going to act when he learns about Ellie and what will she do to get in their way? - Ellie asks Denise if she'd still like to help out and Denise insists that she'd love to, she's instructed by Ellie to get some new pyjamas for the young boy, Denise is only willing to do whatever she can for the boy so she goes off without hesitation. As she leaves, Ellie looks really suspicious - why would Denise want to help? Is she just being a good Samaritan? Or is there more to it? (Oooo I can't wait to see when Ellie finds out who Denise actually is!)

At the club, Mick walks in on Frankie taking pictures of Ollie, at first it seems only friendly and as if she's doing no harm, of course Mick is a little suspicious as Frankie barely knows the child. But it's when he grabs the camera without her looking and takes a look at the photo's, he realises there are quite a lot of photo's of Ollie that she's taken, plus also ones of other family members. When Frankie realises, she makes the excuse that it's Street Art Photography that she's doing. Mick does seem very uncomfortable at the fact that he's been photographed without his knowledge, he asks Frankie is kind of polite way to not to post them on social media and maybe to delete the images, mainly because Linda would feel uncomfortable about it. Frankie promises to do as he asks, but surely his mind must be racing? Who is this girl and why is she taking photos of him and his family?! I've heard some kind of rumour that perhaps Frankie could be Mick's secret daughter, but I'm not 100% sure whether to believe it's true, I mean, it could be - but who knows?!

In the cafe, Stuart is visibly excited to be marrying Rainie, both Callum and Ben are watching on as he's happily smiling as he's having a conversation on the phone with his future wife. I thought it was cute, personally, after so long of being such a dark character, Stuart is finally getting some happiness - and I think he bloody deserves it, as does Rainie! As they're saying their goodbyes on the phone, Ben makes a silly comment to Callum "A tenner says this marriage doesn't last as long as this goodbye!" - It's lovely seeing Stuart all smiley! When he finishes the call and turns to the boys he starts talking about how weird it feels, him getting married and then Callum moving in to the Mitchell's, it's then Ben says that he'll be a Mitchell now he's living under their roof! It's funny as all these one liners comes out, I'm thinking to myself, he's pretty much there now after what he's doing to Phil! As Stuart leaves after reminding Callum of his Best Man duties, Ben again makes a comment of Callum and his Dad being best mates, it seems as if Callum comes clean to his boyfriend, he reveals that he and Phil have been chatting a lot recently, plus he reveals the big news about Phil offering him a job to work on the family firm side of things, Ben is clearly surprised and perhaps confused to hear this news.

In the laundrette, Kathy and Bobby are picking up their clothes from Linda, I just want to say that I absolutely loved the moment when Linda couldn't remember where she had stored their dry-cleaning - B for Beale or C for Cathy, only for it to be under K for the correct spelling of Kathy! I don't know why, I just thought it was brilliant! As she finds the clothes, she overhears Kathy and Bobby talking about Ian's money problems, Kathy informs Bobby that Ian needs this new contract otherwise he wont be able to pay Max back! Linda knows the situation regarding Max and his money, is she going to do the right thing and tell Max? He deserves to know what's happening and what's happened with his share of the restaurant. I kind of hope she does.

Back at Ruby's, Denise and Jack are catching up. He questions Denise on where she has been, she claims she's been shopping and the thing she bought she's planning on taking back anyway. Suddenly Jack's phone rings and he excuses himself to take the call, as he moves to one side, Denise watches as Phil makes his way into the club and sits by the bar. Will she tell him the truth about his son? Next minute, Isaac and Sheree are seen in the club corridor, they appear to be talking about Isaac's run in with his boss about the allegation of him using drugs, as they both walk in they see Denise on the other side of the club, and then Phil sat at the bar. Phil is the one to break the silence and makes a snide comment about him coming to see his dealer. Isaac isn't wanting to hear another word, it's only then that Denise gets involved in the conversation and reminds Phil that's he's not as innocent as he makes out, claiming he doesn't his granddaughter to be taught by a druggie, when he was addicted to crack a couple of years back. She basically insults the Mitchell family name, accusing them all of being criminals! Isaac, Sheree and Jack watch on in disbelief as Denise stands up to Phil! It's a pretty brilliant scene I have to say! Something tells me though that Denise is only doing this because of being reunited with her son, Raymond, who Phil just so happens to be the Father of. As she leaves the club, she appears to be holding a gift bag, we see that it's a set of boys pyjamas that Ellie asked her to buy for Raymond, she then suddenly decides to bin the clothes and walk away.

Back at the Mitchell household, Ben is looking like he's wanting answers from Callum, he wants to understand what his boyfriend has been asked to do. Then suddenly it clicks, he realises that Phil has asked Callum to perhaps get him inside information about what the police are looking for and what they might want. Ben can't understand why Callum would risk losing his job and his future if he was to do what Phil was asking him. He explains to his boyfriend that he is good and that is one of the reasons why he loves him. It's then that Phil walks in, Ben wants answers now! Why is he bringing his boyfriend into this? Why is he making Callum do dirty work? Phil explains to him plain and simple, it's good for business and he's part of the family now, which is why it will work! As Callum and Phil both leave the room, Ben is stunned!

Back at the Vic, Karen is drowning her sorrows in a pint when Kheerat walks in. She tells him not to even think about causing any more trouble, he tries to defend himself, whether it was right or wrong, he cared for Chantelle. He loved her. Karen asks him to picture Chantelle if she was to hear their conversation, she'd hate everything that was happening. Kheerat pauses for a second, thinking that actually what Karen is saying is true. He agrees, he apologises to her and promises not to say anything again and peacefully leaves her with her drink.

At the Beale's house, Ian is looking ready for his meeting, he greets Charmaine and welcomes her into his home. At first, she feels perhaps his house is a little bit unprofessional, as she's after a catering company, you'd think the restaurant would be a better place. Ian insists that she enters his living room where there appears to be a dining table very elegantly displayed with cutlery and dishes. It's then Ian introduces Bobby to Charmaine, and she is instantly aware of who he is. She reveals, much to Ian's surprise, that Bobby and herself had been emailing about a charity named The Lucy Beale Foundation, which Bobby has designed and created himself. Ian's shocked and his ears are ringing as Charmaine admits that Bobby had her reaching for her cheque book, he instructs Bobby to get themselves some food and invites him to join them both for lunch.

Meanwhile, back at the laundrette, Max is opening up to Linda, revealing that Jack is wanting to be a proper family with Denise and the kids, he's worried that Jack might end up asking him to move out. He reveals he's contemplating going to New Zealand to go and see Lauren and Louie, even promised little Abi that he'd take her, once Ian returns his money to him. As Max is revealing all this to Linda she can't help but look guilty, she tells him not to get the little girl's hopes up. Instantly, that doesn't sit right with Max, why would she say such a thing? Why would Abi be disappointed? He moves in on Linda and can see that she's hiding something, he asks her why she's looking so guilty, she backed into a corner, she can't let him think everything is okay when truthfully it's not, she lets out a sigh - will she tell him what she knows?!

Back at the Beale's, Bobby is talking confidently to Charmaine, explaining how much he had to rebuild his life and how much he wanted to focus on turning such a tragic event in his life, to potentially something positive. Charmaine is truly touched by Bobby's honesty and asks whether Ian will match her donation to the charity, Ian insists he will but turns the whole subject back on to the catering contract. She says that she can see how much it means to him, it's then that Ian starts to take advantage of Bobby's idea and - I don't know whether you guys think so too - but does he actually lie saying he's doing it to honour Lucy?! Or is he just playing at her heartstrings just so she'll sign on the dotted line?! Bobby is clearly annoyed with his Father for making such a claim, just then Max storms in - (Linda has told him everything then!) - Max storms in on their meeting and bellows to Ian that he knows he's been lied to for weeks, he's stolen his share of the restaurant, his life savings and he wants them back!!

Back to Denise, we can she's on the phone to Ellie, explaining that something has come up regarding the little boy's pyjamas. Suddenly, Jack walks in on her phone call and she hangs up almost immediately. Jack is already realising that something isn't right with Denise, he asks who it was that she was talking to on the phone, but she brushes it off saying it wasn't important. It's then Jack is asking her for answers, asking why she let rip on Phil earlier in the club, she explains she was trying to stick up for Isaac. Jack informs her that that is not their fight and they don't need to get involved. Denise apologises and reassures him that there is no need for her to speak to or even go near Phil Mitchell ever again!

Meanwhile, back at the Beale's - Max is keeping quiet as Charmaine apologises to Ian and states that she can't do business with him after what has been revealed. Once again, Ian is trying to worm his way out of the situation, telling her that him and Max had an informal loan arrangement in which the terms have been disputed. Max isn't having anymore of Ian's lies! As Charmaine leaves, he reveals he knows about him using his money to buy the Vic! Max instructs him to sell the pub so he can get his money back - I don't know whether you guys noticed, but as Max and Ian are arguing, Bobby is seen counting under his breath, quite tensely squeezing or pinching the side of his arm - is this a coping mechanism? Can he not handle confrontation and big arguments at the scene of where his sister died? Max almost goes lashing out at Ian, as he does so, Bobby shouts at them to stop fighting! Ian tries to calm the situation, he explains to Max that they will find a solution, but not in this current situation where everyone is shouting to have their say.

I'm not 100% sure where Mick and Linda are staying right now? To me it looks like Kush's old apartment, or it could be Ted's old apartment? Who knows? I know I'm wrong, so if anyone could shed some light on where Mick and Linda are currently living, I'd appreciate it! Anyway, Linda admits to Mick about telling Max everything she knows about Ian buying Sharon the Vic with Max's money. He jokingly calls her a "Grass!". As they both get comfortable on the sofa, Mick opens up about his concerns about Frankie taking photos of Ollie. He explains to her that she had taken pictures of the family from a distance, he tells her that Frankie told him it was art, but should they be worried? Linda seems pretty unfazed, she suggests that that is what teenagers are like nowadays, taking pictures of people and things and calling them art. Which, to be fair, is kind of true?! It's clear to tell that Mick is unsure, only time will tell exactly what Frankie's obsession with Ollie and the Carter family will be.

The final scene of tonight's episode, I feel was an absolutely brilliant one! Ian walks into the Queen Vic cellar and realises the light isn't working. As he goes to grab some alcohol, we can see Max lurking in the shadows. He softly speaks to Ian and slowly approaches him, now Bobby isn't around they can carry on their conversation from earlier on. Ian is now finally backed into a corner as Max gets closer. Ian proposes to pay Max back in instalments, at first Max sees that as an insults, why would he agree to that?! But then Ian confesses, it's the only way he'll be able to pay him back the full amount. Max looks to floor, nods and agrees to the arrangement, but he gives Ian one final warning, if he missing any payment, then he will come for him!!!

I think it's finally about time that Ian got what was coming to him, let's just hope he'll be able to pay Max back every penny. What do we think tomorrow's episode will have in store?! I hope you enjoy this post and I hope you all enjoy the rest of your evening. I'll be back tomorrow folks! Goodnight! xXx

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waitinginthedarke · 5 years

Text

He’ll be wrong, for you.

A BTS/Kim Taehyung Fanfiction

Summary : What happens when you take on Kim Taehyung… Type: Mafia!AU (BTS)

********************Prologue********************* Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6

‘Have you got any coffee?’

The question is asked in a gravelly voice, the sight of the warehouse presenting itself to you through a slightly blurred, and exhausted, vision, but you still manage to seek him out in the darkness, his omniscient smirk being illuminated by the single table-side light that separated the space between your two chairs.

‘And why might you be asking that, Angel?’

A spark of irritation flickers in your stomach at the pet name, tiredness weighing down on your responses to him, but you’re too spent to really acknowledge it with how much you desperately needed caffeine, and deeply despised your need to sleep.

‘Taehyung, have you got any or-‘

‘Its 5am, Y/n. …maybe instead of drinking coffee, you should consider getting some sleep?’

The way he cuts you off forces a biting reply to the forefront of your tongue, but before the words can leave your lips, you’d caught sight of the worried expression he was watching you with, your eyes slowly following the length of his arm till you see the way he’d reached over to gently cover your hand with his.

‘I don’t need-‘

‘The guys went to bed almost two hours ago, beautiful. And I’ve spent the past two hours watching you try not to fall asleep in that chair, despite me telling you amusing stories about the gang.’ He points out, a wry smile curling the edges of his lips, despite the deep bow in his brow, one that grows larger as he gets elegantly to his feet and takes a step toward you only to come to kneel at your feet.

‘Whatever it is that’s brought you here tonight, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. …but what I do want you to do…is to forget about it whilst you’re here; …you’re safe with me.’

He speaks the words with such sincerity as he peers up at you, his hair falling into his eyes slightly where he’d spent his evening nervously, or perhaps stressfully, raking his fingers through it. In that moment you think you might tell him everything, that you might spill your life into his lap; the ugly dark truth.

…but then you think about the way he’ll run away from you…the way he’d walk away in just the same way all the others had.

You weren’t sure why the thought of him turning away from you bothered you so, this man who, for all intents and purposes should be your enemy, whose warehouse you’d waltzed into this evening with no idea as to why but every intention to stay...

... you just knew you didn’t want to lose him just yet.

‘I’m not going to judge you, y/n. …I just want to make sure you’re at your best so that you can deal with whatever it is that’s plaguing you. …I might have only know you for a few days, but you’ve always intrigued me from a distance. I’ve always found you-‘

‘What do you mean from a distance?’ you cut him off, the last corner of your brain that wasn’t laden with exhaustion picking up on the odd use of words that hinted at something further, and you find yourself watching him carefully as his eyes widen just the tiniest bit.

‘I monitor all the gangs in the area closely, y/n. I didn’t come to be of the caliber I am by ignoring others and simply focusing on my own wants for my gang.’ He explains, squeezing your hand gently and distracting you momentarily with its warmth and reassuring feel, before you’re quickly looking back up at him.

‘When you say monitor,….’ You begin, brain working faster than your conscious reactions as hope burns beneath your rib cage, the thought that maybe he already knew about your past and was still ready to accept you causing your heart to pound as your breathing silently speeds up.

‘I study my rivals. I learn their weaknesses and their strengths. I infiltrate other gangs databases so that I’m ready for any kind of attack I may encounter-‘

‘So you know the-you know everyone’s pasts? You know-‘

‘I know almost everything about you since you joined Kyuho’s gang…yes.’ Taehyung confirms, a glint of unsurity in the depths of his gaze as he watches you accept this information, but the way he’d worded his confession had you worrying about something much different than what he was concerned about.

‘since I joined…so you don’t-‘

‘I know the entire backstory of every single assassin and trainee in your gang,’ he begins intently, eyes flickering between yours as if he was searching you for something, and before he could even speak the words, you knew what he was going to say.

‘…except yours. Your file, before you met Kyuho, …was blank.’

A measure of despair enters you, the hope that had been building in your gut instantly being dashed as you realize he didn’t know. The need to run begins to tighten your muscles, a moisture welling in your eyes, and you quickly move your gaze from his, staring at your joined hands momentarily before all the defense strategies you’d adopted as habit over time suddenly swarm your body, taking away any control your subconscious had.

‘I think I should probably go. …get back to work and all-‘

His face fills your vision as he pulls you back to him from where you’d got to your feet and attempted to move away, and despite your cemented need to escape, you find your steely façade fracturing under the concerned expression he was pinning you down with.

‘I don’t care who you were before, y/n. We all come to be where we are for different reasons…but what brings us together is a need for comfort, and a need for revenge- it doesn’t matter how pretty you try to make the situation.’ He begins, his hold on your arm where he’d grabbed you being secure, like it could stay there forever and you’d never grow weary of it.

‘Please don’t run off because you’re scared about what I might think of your past…we’ve all got demons, angel…’

The need to flee takes a pause with those words, your eyes immediately flickering up to his to see him staring down at your hands once more as he slowly comes to grasp your fingers with his own, before peering up at you and offering you a timidly reassuring smile.

‘Please tell me you wont leave just yet.’

It’s the way he says the words so quietly, so timidly, that has you realizing the position you’d found yourself in; standing defenseless before the master assassin Kim Taehyung himself…with your heart racing at the way his eyes watched you closely as his tongue slipped out to moisten his lips.

You shouldn’t have gotten this close.

‘I have to go.’ You murmur, swallowing thickly as you battle against your desire to stay, seeing the light in his eyes dim as he frowns at your hasty retreat, a look of hurt painting his features as his grip on you loosens so that you can put some distance between you.

But even as you get to the doorway that would take you back outside, you find yourself slowing despite yourself, slowly turning back to look at him only to see him stood in the exact same space as he looks back at you, mournful expression flicking momentarily with hope at your pause, before his features become painted stoically once again when you make no move to return.

And its that charade of indifference that he shows you, the sight making you crave his soft side once more, that has you speaking your next words.

‘I’ll be back…I promise.’

-------------------------------------

‘And where have you been all night?’

You roll your eyes at Kyuho’s abrupt, demanding question as you stroll into HQ a few hours later, barely 20 minutes of sleep under your belt, and only 4 shots of espresso to keep you going.

‘What jobs have you got for me today?’ is all you respond, not wanting to talk to him after what he’d said the night before, but knowing you had some unfinished business to attend to.

‘Are you going to answer my question or-‘

‘Im just here to finish what I started.’ You cut Kyuho off, the interruption pulling you from your memories of the way Taehyung had held your hand more or less all night, and you flash your gaze up to look at your boss directly in the eye, finding him looking back at you with a steely gaze that flashes with mild surprise.

‘And what exactly-‘

‘Just give me my file for the day. I want to get finished asap.’

All he can do is stare at you with a single raised brow, before turning around to retrieve your prepared instructions, muttering something under his breath as he does so. As he turns back to offer you the file you can see he’s about to say something, but before he can say anything you’re snatching the thin paper folder from him and heading for the door.

‘Y/N, I want to talk-‘

‘Works calling.’ You shout over your shoulder, hating the way you felt bad about your actions with the hint of regret you could hear in his words. But before you let yourself get hung up on him, you were mounting your motorcycle and speeding toward the destination of the day’s first tests.

You preferred the hand to hand combat; the pure rush of adrenaline that takes over every move you make until you find yourself blending into a machine of pure strength and skill, only surfacing from the high of it all once all danger had dispersed from your immediate path.

So few combatants that you faced these days really appreciated the focus and skill that was required for physical attacks, preferring to hide behind guns or other such weaponry that showed just how cowardly they truly were.

The person you faced now, for example, was clearly lost without the aid that he was so used to having, his nun-chucks lay 10 meters to the left where you’d thrown them only a moment before. However, it had only taken you seconds to realize that they were the only thing this guy was really skilled with; the sight of his hands trembling slightly where they were pursed before him making your lip curl, not in amusement, but anger at his clear disregard for the basic knowledge and skill of combat.

‘Just give up, it will be easier for you. I’ll even let you go if you tell me where your boss is hiding.’ You tell him, voice neutral, emotionless, not allowing him any advantage as you hold your ground, slowly, un-susceptibly moving closer to him as he continues to bounce ridiculously on his toes.

‘I’ll never give up. You’re the one that should turn around little lady.’

Boy did he sounds like a walking cliché.

For the past 30 seconds you’d been waiting for the swipe of his right arm to jut out toward your throat, the constant eyeing of your jugular having given away his intentions before he’d even consciously decided on making the attempt. Sadly for him though, you’d already plotted your own plan of attack, within miliseconds having his face pressed harshly to the concrete, and your knee forced snuggly against his spine, his cry of pain in response resonating around the darkened shipping yard.

‘I’ll give you one more chance. And I swear to god if you call me ‘little lady’ once more I will rip your arms from your sockets without thinking twice; don’t think I wont.’ You explain, leaning down to hiss the words in his ear as you hold his arms tightly behind his back, daring him to move as you wait for him to show his understanding with a barely susceptible nod of his head.

But of course, his ego ended up getting the better of him, and within minutes you were leaving him in a heap of collapsed limbs on the concrete, the groans and cries of pain emanating from him as you walked away with the USB he’d had hidden in his jacket, proof that if you made a promise to someone, even if it was to rip their arms out of their sockets…

…you were going to keep it

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Boss, she’s back.’

You’d had all day to think over what had happened the night before, how Taehyung had confessed that he knew everything about you but the thing you simultaneously wished he did and didn’t know most. You’d spent almost every waking hour thinking about how you could tell him, what you wanted to say to him…..considering the way you’d found yourself thinking about him…

And yet you’d still arrived at the warehouse with no idea of what you really wanted to say-

-or why you’d even returned.

The simple sentence that had been called by Jungkook into the vast space of the room had been enough to conjure him from the small office hidden in the corner, the second he appeared in the doorway, hands in his pockets, regarding you across the space with a level yet silently thankful quirk of his lips causing your pulse to thunder in your ears as you look back at him, trying to stifle the smile that wanted to grace itself for him.

But that’s before his expression is suddenly slashed by one of concern.

‘What happened?’

Confused, you watch him stalk across the space towards you, eyes drifting over your body and bringing your attention down to your clothes, causing you to recall the struggles of your last mission in which you’d been painted by a couple of bloody spatters in a dirty brawl.

‘Oh, its nothing…I just- I should’ve gone home to change before I came, but-‘

The end of the sentence stops short on the end of your tongue, the words ‘I couldn’t wait to see you’ hanging silently in the air between you, and when your gaze flickers doe-like up to him you see him looking down at you with silent intrigue, mouth quirking into a knowing smile where his friends could only see his back as he stood before you, and the private moment had you subconsciously biting your lip as you continue to hold his gaze, heart racing in your chest.

‘Perhaps you’d like to get a fresh shirt.’ He mused, his statement seeming to offer you the chance to leave, but just as he sees the logical answer conflict in your gaze, he’s quickly remedying his choice of words, into one more promising for you to stay.

‘I have one in the office.’

Every time you saw him again, you found yourself getting caught up in his beauty. Compared to all the other mafia bosses that you’d ever met, with their hard faces, stubble sharpened jawlines, and perfectly gelled hair, the clean, smooth skin, soft sweeping hair, and perfectly sculpted features of the man before you always caught you off guard, causing you to admire his angelic perfection for a few moments before he caught you looking-

-as he did in that moment.

‘Come with me.’

The dagger-like, curious gazes of Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook staked themselves into you as you followed their leader across the warehouse floor and into his office without a word of explanation, the silence the moment held feeling like it was weighing you down up until the moment he shut the door behind you, and the two of you were alone once more.

His switch from mafia boss to caring man was almost instantaneous with the click of the door shutting.

‘How was your day?’

You watch him as he moves past you to a closet in an alcove of the room, his question being dropped into your hands as casually as though the two of you were life long friends, and despite your awareness of the fact you hadn’t automatically responded to his inquest with an answer, you couldn’t help but watch after him, confusion clouding your mind as you work to get your brain to catch up with the moment, and to stop dwelling on the way his hand had felt clutching yours as he’d pulled you into the small room.

‘That bad?’

His voice suddenly being in front of you, snaps you from your thoughts, your gaze shooting upwards to find him looking down at you with an eyebrow raised, smolder subconsciously twisting his features as he waits for your answer.

‘Here.’

You hadn’t even noticed the shirt he’d been holding before him, the way his hand suddenly clasps around your own as you go to take it from him causing you to nervously swallow as you wait for his next move, letting go of the breath you’d been holding when his hand gently drops from yours, before thanking him quietly.

‘I’ll leave you alone for a moment.’ He murmurs, his expression when you glance up at him being clouded with concern, and the way he looks at his feet, eyes not meeting yours, has you suddenly reaching for him before he can walk away.

‘Taehyung-‘

His instinctive, instantaneous turn of his head in your direction, eyes lighting up as every facet of his body seems to fine-tune itself to you has every concern you had trying to battle their way out of your mouth at once, the need to tell him just how you felt, the confusion, and the blind want for him bubbling to the surface…

…only for your instinctive assassin nature to smother them as though they were the enemy.

‘Thank you.’

‘No problem, Angel.’

Staring at his back as he disappears out of the door, you’re left wishing you could have said more.

(T.B.C)

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ybcomplicated · 5 years

Text

Soft Songs

The ache was too much sometimes. It throbs in my chest like a hammer on my rib-cage, an angry thrust against my lungs to the beat of some Billie Eillish song, and a weight on my throat making it impossible to breath. But somehow i still feel the smoke filling my lungs and fogging up my brain. The sting in soft pink tissue deep beneath the skin keeping me together.

My body floats in an endless sea of tears that won't fall because i wont allow them too. It comforting in a way. The sting in my eyes out weighs the ache in my chest. Its a slow simple ting now against the sweater over my torso. The sweater that reminds me too much of how I’m alone at this moment. The Anti-Social Social-Club.

What a joke. Being antisocial was a choice people make. To not be around others either because you can't handle it or because you don't want to. It's not sitting alone in your car without anyone to call you and check in. It's not the inability to go anywhere with anyone because you don't want to be doing it alone. It's not being alone because you have no other choice.

Loneliness may be what causes the ache. Or at least part of it. Definitely not all of it, This ache I’ve had for years, it just intensified more so in these recent months I guess. It’s all a little foggy these days. Days intertwine and hours seem to fade like scars. Not completely gone, but enough to not really remember them.

“What the actual fuck?” a voice cuts into my musing. It is slightly muffled but catches my attention all the same.

I look out the window slowly and lift my drooping eyelids enough to see my sister standing outside the door with her hand on her hips and face like a disappointed mother. My mother probably wouldn't be disappointed. Just sad.

I roll down the window letting smoke seep out towards the grey sky, the rain stopping for this one moment of confrontation, as if it can't fathom falling on the all powerful and great Abby, “Hey, sis.”

Abby looks looks me over while I rest my head on the back of my seat and stared at her through the haze of fog in my brain, “Siyera…. Why didn't you call me? You promised to call next time you felt like this.”

I stare at her without responding and she sighs before walking to the passenger door and getting in. Her face showing her distaste for the smell in the car. I unconsciously move to grab an incense and light it up with my little pink lighter. I roll down her window as well and let the music and smoke flow out the car windows quietly.

Now it was some Ed sherran song that was somehow on my playlist but I don’t remember putting it there. I look at my phone and see im listening to some random playlist and remembered that I didn't make this one.

“‘TikTok Soft songs’’? A little soft for your usual taste isn't it?” Abby tries to joke softly and I shrug putting out the joint in my ashtray. I stared out the window and didn't pay attention to her. The voice was a soft muffle in the fog in my head. Barely making it through any better than she was out my window.

“Do you think that when I die, people will actually go through my stuff? Or will Wayne just leave my room alone? Keep it like a space lost in time, collecting dust and never being used again? Or will he just pack up my shit and pretend i was never there?” I ask quietly.

Abby watches my face as if to find something and I caught her eye. Brown on brown. So different but the same. Mine red and hers a clear white to match her white tank top. Abby was always the pretty one. She was a nice 5’6”, she had a nice build and perky breasts. Legs for days and large lips that didn’t belong anywhere but a beautiful black woman. Yet somehow they were put on this white lady. And to top it off she was a crazy person who didn't give a shit if people saw her. She was a catch.

“I-,” She paused trying to collect her thoughts. I could see the cogs in her brain turning through her eyes, “I hope that it's not for a long while, and it's your kids looking through your stuff. Trying to decide what they want to take and what they should give away. I know that's what you would want. Your stuff to be given to a thrift store so someone else can love it the way you have.”

I laugh bitterly at her, “Right, Pipe dream, babe.”

“Siyera, why are you here? You could have gone to a park or the parking lot of a Walmart, or Lissa’s. Yet you are getting high in the parking lot of my School. You know that you could get arrested? And then id have to explain to Wayne and mom and dad why you were there with weed!” She says gesturing to Dave in the center console of my mustang.

I sigh and look up at the roof of my car. The back seemed to suck me in, “I wasn’t planning on smoking Abbs. It just happened. Alex hit me up as I was on my way here to talk to you instead and it-”

My throat closed up and Abby looked at me with sad eyes. I hated that look. The pity in her gaze. The disappointed tone in her voice. The uncomfortable stature of her person as she sees me breakdown next to her, unsure if she should hug me or get out of the car.

I wish she would just leave. I don't want her to see me like this. I don't want anyone to see me like this. The last time anyone saw me like this was two years ago at one of my old jobs. This time it wasn't so bad but it was close. It's’ more sadness than panic this time.

It’s like a wave washing over me, pulling he under the current, unable to come back up. Breath gone and head high with lack of oxygen. Maybe I shouldn't have smoked. Maybe I should lay down? Maybe I should go home and sleep it off.

Abby sighs with tears in her eyes that she won't let fall as i fall apart in my car. The rain had started up again and it matched me. Heh, Aesthetic. I feel like in floating, like I'm watching everything happen from the outside. I watch as Abby goes out into the rain, I feel a bit disappointed at the rain making the perfect curls of her hair flat and stick to her face as she gets me out of my car and into her apartment. She gets me in the door somehow and sits me down at the table.

I'm not processing anything. I'm not really think about anything either, though I guess that's not true. I'm thinking about how im not thinking about anything. I start to giggle and Abby comes back in with sweatpants and a shirt that she puts in my hands and pushes me towards the bathroom.

“Change and then come back. You are staying here tonight, I’ll message Wayne so he knows and doesn't freak out. I won't tell him about this, I promise,” She must have seen the panic on my face at the thought of Wayne finding out about my relapse. I don't need him to know! He will just be disappointed and I only want one person disappointed in me at this moment. I don't think I'd be able to handle more.

I change and make my way into the living room and make myself comfortable on her second hand couch she got from our grandmother. It was an ugly thing, with a faded flower pattern that still faintly smells of cat piss. I found a pack of smokes that were hidden in my sweatshirt pocket and lit one up. I breathed it in and held it before letting it out to the air, to be dissolved in the air that the ceiling fan made.

“How many times do I have to tell you not in the house?” Abby says sitting next to me and looking disapproving at the cigarette. I hold eye contact as i take another drag.

“And how many times have I listened?” I say letting the smoke seep through my words.

“You are disgusting,” She said with a slight teasing tone.

“It’s what you love about me,” I say with a smirk and she laughs.

The ache is still there but it’s not so bad now.

#oc #oc story #story #writings #make fanart if u want #abby #siyera #drugs #warning #panic attack #sadness #let my feelings out

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

Text

The Art Of Deception

TVXQ Shim Changmin (MAX) x Reader (Secret Agenty/Spy AU) Characters: TVXQ Summary: You were both the top spies in your agency on a mission to retrieve some stolen artifacts. But because had Changmin recently came to terms with the fact he was badly crushing on you, things got a little... difficult. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: violence, cussing, theft, verbal degradation, jealousy, etc.

A/N: LISTEN TO JUST MY TYPE BY THE VAMPS but only if you want to, because it was what inspired this.

GIF IS NOT MINE

M-m-m-m-my...

I smiled and handed the invitation to the guard, who quickly examined the piece of paper and proceeded to let us in. Changmin clenched his jaw tightly when I squeezed the man’s shoulder.

“Was that necessary?“ Changmin mumbled, pressing his lips against my ear.

The smile I had for the man at the entrance dropped when I turned to the man I had my arms linked with.

More than meets the eye, To tell the truth would be a lie, I saw her out on Friday night...

“Yes, I’m trying to play dumb.”

He nearly growled, “You don’t have to when we’re already married.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sure, because only an idiot would marry you.” I spoke adjusting the thin straps of my deep plunging dress. “Besides, I’m a gold digger whose brain mass went to her breasts, stop blowing my cover.”

As we were about to cut into the crowd, it was apparent that a lot of eyes were falling on us, which was probably why Changmin spun in front of me and took either of my shoulders. “Wouldn’t your equally dumb husband at least try to prevent you from flashing?“

“Not when he’s too sleazy to stay faithful.” I bit back, opting to push past him at this point.

Changmin placed his hands on his hips then huffed.

Misunderstood.

I made my way to the living room where a plethora of stolen marble Grecian statues were sprawled all around. It took quite a lot of restraint for me to appear absolutely unfazed by the skill the maestros had on their medium. But I played bimbo as much as I could.

I pulled the front of my skirt up so I could walk better and streaked across the room, only to have my arm be pulled back. I was about to give Changmin a piece of my mind, up until I turned around and saw that it was an entirely different man who looked of Chinese descent. “Are you alone tonight?” he spoke with an apparently thick Chinese accent, and judging by the way he rolled his tongue, he was a native Cantonese speaker.

“For you,” I spoke in his mother tongue, “I am.”

She’s balling for a guy, That cigarette it needs a light, Pluck up the courage and invite her nowhere good...

Changmin held himself back for a second, one second and already a man was all over her. He was ready to scare him off, up until he noticed the guy that went up to her was was on number 3 on their Top 10 Most Wanted List.

One second, and she already attracted a terrorist, rapist, pedophile, smuggler, thief, with a bounty on his head for 4.5 million on the black market. Lucky.

She ran her hands up his arm and rubbed his shoulder, chucking at the feel. Changmin almost scoffed. It was only until she motioned with her hand that he went. She shot Changmin a quick look and rubbed her lower lip with her diamond embellished ring finger, a sign for Changmin to go off and finish their mission while she dealt with the criminal.

I lead the man to the bar and sat him down and called for the bartender to get us both some whiskey on the rocks. We continued our conversation in Cantonese.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” he drawled with a lopsided smirk.

I playfully rolled my eyes, “My husband never lets me out.”

“With good reason,” he muttered, leaning in close, “if you were up, I’d chain you to my bed and throw away the key.”

I gulped and heaved, leaning in as well, “Would you spank me and pull my hair too?”

The bartender arrived placing the two drinks before us, completely being disregarded by the man in front of me. Big mistake.

I went in and kissed him, sloppily enough that he’ll believe I was actually into it, but clean enough to keep up the facade that I want to keep my makeup intact projected.

Cause I need this more than just a one night stand...

Changmin at this point had knocked out two guards, plus another that happened to walk in on the scene and opened the entrance to the artifact room in this place.

Piece after piece of stolen paintings, armor, weapons, clothing, and jewels. And as much as he’d like to steal them back and bring them to the rightful places in society, he didn’t have time and would easily get caught trying to haul a cape and crown from the Victorian era.

And he wasn’t here for carbon, he was here for collagen, mammoth bones.

Apparently their company SM owed a local science research lab a favor and they did get their hands on mammoth samples, but their truck got raided and now they want them back. Luckily for them, there are serial numbers and GPS’s on everything today so it wasn’t really hard to do, especially not for Changmin and his partner.

Changmin found what he needed in a box that was used for a stand of a Persian scimitar sword. After putting the weapon down and getting the two mammoth tusks, he set everything back and hid the bones in his coat. He doesn’t really need to, and it wont really help, but it’s second nature to him.

And so on his way out though he killed the cameras for approximately ten minutes, which ended a few moments after he made his way to the blind spot, he went into the bathroom nonchalantly and there he met his carrier Yunho who was washing his hands.

“Took you long enough,” the other agent spoke, shaking hands and drying it with a tissue. He then got the brown pouch bag he brought with him, and Changmin moved to place the artifacts inside.

Changmin gave a nod and went to wash his hands.

“I don’t understand how you can stand her kissing someone else, much less a wanted criminal,” Yunho blurted out, making the younger agent tense up. With one look from the reflection of the mirror, Yunho understood that Changmin did not know that this was going on, which explained his next choice of words. “They were at the bar, but they may have moved--”

Changmin stormed out, needing not hear more.

Need that honey when she hold my hand...

After kissing the pig, he and I shared a drink. Thinking it would show his prowess, the felon downed the entire thing and gave me a sharp look. I smirked at him and grabbed him by the collar, “Let’s move this somewhere more private.” I hummed near his lips, smelling the distinct aroma of the drug I put in his breath.

It would only take ten minutes at this point.

He heaved like a rabid dog and I quickly got to my feet, getting him up and out of the room, into a deep hallway filled with both imitations and real paintings made in the Rococo era.

As we made it by the end of the hallway, I heard the man growl from behind me and felt that he was about to move in. I quickly sidestepped away and made him crash into the wall. It was then I placed my hands on his hip and started feeling him upwards to see if he had any weapons hidden in his suit.

The man was foolishly unarmed.

He smirked, “Such a dirty girl,” he grabbed my hair and pulled my head to the side, exposing my neck to him, making me grunt at the action. “What would your husband think if he learned that I touched his slutty little wife?”

I looked at him for a moment, seeing that his eyes where drooping and his breathing was getting heavier. It was only a matter of time before he passed out. I smirked, “He would--” “fucking beat the shit out of the moron that tried to touch her!” a deep voice growled and echoed in the expanse, and the next thing I knew, I was pushed roughly aside and the man who had his hands on me was slung across the room with much force.

I huffed in frustration and ran my hands through my hair.

“MAX!” I called, using the alias he had for this mission in case the man would remember anything, and charged to the two who had escalated into a fist fight. I pulled my skirt up and went behind Changmin, trying to tell him to stop. Underline, trying.

“Max, he’s drunk! Stop!” I called, grabbing his arm, squeezing it.

He wiped my hand away and grabbed the man he had punched a couple of times by the collar. At this point, he lost all consciousness and dripped between the man’s fingers.

I huffed and whisper-yelled to my partner, “I fucking boozed him, moron.”

Changmin at this point, pushed him against the wall, sitting him up before turning to me.

I slapped him, hard. “You imbecile! Why don’t you ever listen to me?! I could’ve-” but the suddenness of his lips on my mouth, shut me up before I could continue. His arms were tightly around me, his chest was firmly pressed against mine, and before I could push him off, he broke away, looking at me with a swollen lip I didn’t realize he had and turned over his shoulder.

“YA! CAN’T A MAN HAVE A FEW MINUTES ALONE WITH HIS WIFE?!” he screamed out what seemed to be all his three young men who appeared to have some drugs with them. With red faces, they scrambled away.

Times like this, they call for true romance...

Changmin pulled way from her and snorted loudly, pulling out his phone.

“Yunho, we caught him. Did you leave yet? Good. We’re coming to you right now.”

After ending the call, he turned to her with knit brows, “Why do you keep doing this to me?”

“Doing what?“

“Drive me insane!” Changmin shouted. “I’m in love with you! You know that... and yet you still--” “I still what?” I yelled back, “I still do what I have to do to get people like him into custody. Then yes! I drive you insane by doing my job.”

“It’s not that you do your job!” he spat, grabbing either of my shoulders. “It’s that you pretend not to see my feelings when you know it’s right there in front of your face!”

But she’s not ready for that.

My breath hitched at his bluntness. I knew that I was doing this. He knew that I knew I was doing this. But hearing him say it like this upfront... made my chest clench.

I was struck speechless for a moment, but when I finally found something to say, Changmin turned away and nodded his head in disapproval, “You know what, forget it. Let’s just get this guy out of here.”

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dormousse · 6 years

Text

Give me love — Bucky x Reader

Hiii, here is a song fic inspired by Ed Sheeran, Give me love. It’s kind of angsty, but I hope you’ll like it! Please leave feedback! ❤️

If you see any spelling/grammar mistake or any mistake don’t hesitate to tell me! English is not my first language so I sometimes make mistakes :(

Warning: kind of angst, lots of crying, mention of alcohol, both Bucky and the reader are drunk at one point.

Forever Taglist: @panicatttckiss

Give me love like her

Cause lately I’ve been waking up alone

Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt

Told you I’d let them go

You look up and saw him across the room, his blue tux only making him more handsome than he already his. He smiles and look to her at his side, stars filling his eyes. She’s stunning.

She’s everything you’ll never be.

Seeing him with her made your heart drop to your stomach as you put a fake smile on your lips. He’s your friend, you should be happy for him, that he finally found someone who he truly loves. But you’re not. Only because that someone isn’t you.

And it hurts. It hurts to see him kiss her cheek, or to see the sparks in his eyes when he’s looking at her. You always thought you had something going on with him. The way he let his hand brush over yours, or the way the corner of his lips would twitch when you looked up to him made you feel special to his eyes.

You were so wrong.

Your eyes water, and suddenly you’re in the bathroom, crying your heart out as the party is still going on outside. You need to leave, you feel like an outsider. You don’t belong here. You’re only bringing sadness to his happiness.

Steve is the one to pick you up from the cold bathroom floor. He saw you storming in, but never saw you left. You’re tired, all you want is drift off to sleep. You close your eyes and nuzzle yourself into Steve chest, your sobs staining his shirt as he takes you out.

Maybe tonight, I’ll call ya

After my blood, turns into alcohol

« I love you »

You’re drunk. The words fall from your lips as freely as the tears from your eyes. You love him, and it hurts. It hurts, because when you look at him you see the stars, and when he looks at you he sees the ground.

You’re drunk, and for once you let your feelings take over you. Everything you once bottled up now pours out as you cry, sob and scream your heart out. You’re tired. Tired of hiding behind a mask you cant stand anymore.

You’re drunk. And drunk people make mistakes. You made one. But as people like to say, drunk words speak sober thoughts. You didn’t want to admit how you felt, because saying it out loud would only confirm your feelings. And now nothing would be the same for you.

You throw the phone to the wall, your scream echoing through the room. You don’t hear Bucky almost screaming your name through the phone as he heard your loud plea. The phone crash onto the wall and fall flat onto the floor, the screen shattered and unusable.

Loving him was a mistake.

No, I just wanna hold ya

Give a little time to me or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

It’s a kiss, just a kiss nothing more. He doesn’t mean it.

That’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself at least.

You can’t think as his lips work on you, you feel dizzy. This is too much for you. Everything you’ve ever wanted finally happen. But even if you’ve wanted this for the longest time you cant help but feel like this is wrong.

You push him away, the tears starting to built in your eyes. This is all kind of wrong, he doesn’t love you, he loves her, this is a mistake.

« Buck.. you can’t. We can’t... »

You leave, tears rolling down your cheeks as you walk out.

You don’t see his eyes tearing up as your back faces him. You don’t see the way the words he crave so much to say stay stuck in his throat.

Give me love like never before

'Cause lately I've been craving more

And it's been a while but I still feel the same

Maybe I should let you go

The next time you see him it’s almost been half a year. Six months where you tried as much as you could to avoid him. You left the compound, it’s not like you were an important asset to the team. You thought that if you stayed far away from him your feelings would disappear.

You couldn’t be more wrong.

As soon as you lay your eyes on him you feel everything you’ve tried to bury deep inside your heart. It’s so overwhelming that you don’t remember how to breathe. You don’t know how to react as your eyes lock with his, those damn baby blue eyes you dreamed about so often.

You take a big inspiration and shake your head. You are strong, you can do this. You’ve faced worse than a pair of blue eyes. You smile at Tony who take you in a bear hug, kissing your forehead.

« How you doing ? »

« Good, thanks. I, hum... I’m sorry.. »

« Don’t be. »

You don’t know what you were apologizing for. You just feel like it’s the right thing to do. You smile softly and walk to the bar where Natasha hand you a glass filled with an amber liquid. You missed seing her, she was one of your closest friend. But you couldn’t stay in the compound, even for her. It was just too much for you back there.

« I’m gonna need some more of this, Tash. »

She smirks a little as you finish your drink in one gulp, already feeling the courage to stay here a little longer running in your veins.

And that tonight I'll call ya

After my blood is drowning in alcohol

« I love you. »

A tear rolls down your cheek. You’ve already seen this. It wont end well.

You both are drunk, he’s probably drunker than you. Everytime you’re near him, you’re crying, as if suddenly your feelings became too much to handle and the only way for you to let them go away was to cry.

« I love you, Y/N. I.. » he stutters, the words flowing through his drunken brain. « I’ve came to the realization that I always loved you. Since I first laid my eyes on you. »

A tear escape his eyes as your vision gets blurry. You’ve waited for this moment for so long you can’t believe it’s finally happening. He slowly make his way up to you, taking your hands in his.

« I didn’t want to be a burden to you. You don’t deserve a broken machine. You deserve someone who loves you with every beats of their heart. I.. I thought if I was with someone else I would have stopped thinking about you. But... ever since you called me that night, before you left the compound, you were the only thing on my mind... »

You didn’t realized how close he was to you now. His forehead is resting against yours, his breath slowly fanning over your lips as his hand is resting on your cheeks, cupping your face, his thumbs slowly grazing off the tears.

You let your hand rest on top of his, locking your eyes with his, only to see pure love. You smile softly as another tear fall from your eyes.

« I love you. »

And with that, you close the distance between you two, pressing your lips against his in a hungry kiss.

No I just wanna hold ya

Give a little time to me or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

Oh give me love

#Bucky #Bucky Barnes #James Barnes #James Buchanan Barnes #Bucky x Reader #Bucky x You #bucky imagine #Sebastian Stan #mcu #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #please leave feedback ♥#Give Me Love

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abrunettefangirlnerd · 6 years

Text

Wont Stop

Prompt: You are the newest recruit for the Avengers. Your room is right next to the Winter Soldier, and since being here you are awaken by the sound of Bucky restless after his nightmares. One night you decide to go in to check if he’s okay.

Part: 1/5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Slight mention of abuse

Word Count: 1619

After being recruited a month ago, Avenger headquarters started to feel like home. Of course the team played a big part in this. Steve was the one who brought me in after I nearly drowned him. That’s my power, or curse as some would call it, hydrokinesis. I can manipulate water, yes a lot like Katara from Avatar the Last Airbender but not as glamorous.

Ever since getting here almost everyone was eager to welcome me in, almost everyone. Bucky, also known as the Winter Soldier, didn’t seem so thrilled upon my arrival. As a matter of fact he’s still not, most of the time he keeps to his room when he’s not training. Nat told me to not take it personally, he usually doesn’t interact with anyone but Steve.

“Hey Steve, will Bucky be joining us for training today?” I asked with a joking smile, already knowing the answer.

“Not today, (Y/N).” Steve sets down his water. “He didn’t sleep well last night.”

A involuntary snort escapes me as my feet assume a fighting stance. Bucky never sleeps well, he is constantly waking up from some sort of nightmare. Other than his name, the constant nightmares are the only thing I know about him.

Being predictable, Steve starts with a punch that I easily block and proceed to hit him in the gut. Not doing anything to him, Steve easily takes me down with a kick to my knee.

While sparing Steve doesn’t want me to use my powers, which is completely unfair because he gets to use his. My figures tingle as they will for the water in Steve’s bottle. Knowing what I’m planning to do Steve shoots me a warning look as he pins my body to the ground.

“No powers (Y/N).” Steve teases.

“Scared Rogers?” I snarl. “It’s only water.”

In that instant not just the water from the bottle comes to my aid, but some of the water from the lake just outside the window. The glass that was once keeping us separated from outside now lays in pieces on the floor.

“(Y/N)!” Steve shouts.

My eyes grow wide as they take in the chaos. Water is everywhere, leaving Steve soaking wet along with the floor mixed with the remaining glass. I spring to my feet and assess the damage. Not even sure of me saying sorry I turn on my heal and race away from the scene. Steve’s voice present in my ears as he take off shouting after me, but his voice seems distant as though I am underwater too.

Not noticing where I am going, not really caring, my body hits what seems to be a wall. Looking up did my eyes realize I did not hit a wall but a person, our eyes connecting together like magnets. They are dark, mysterious, and holy captivating. A cool chill of shivers runs up my body as we just stand there gazing.

“Buck,” Steve breathes, hunching over with his hands on his knees. “Would you please tell (Y/N) not to try and drown me next time?”

Bucky shoots a puzzling look my way, almost questioning if it is even possible I could. My stubborn nature instantly courses a challenge through my veins. I’ll prove him wrong, someday if I can get more than 5 seconds with him.

“Stark needs to see you.” Whatever expression Bucky once had is now wiped clean, along with your presence in the room. “He said it was important.” Yup, I’m completely invisible.

Steve gives a nod saying his goodbye as he runs toward Tony’s lab. This leaves you alone with Bucky, which always caused the air in the room to thin. After standing there shifting his weight for another minute he saunters off down the hall to his room.

“Good to see to you too.” You shout as he closes his door with a thud.

Regaining focus you walk into the kitchen for a glass of water. Once in there you are greeted by Thor and Bruce, who are once again trying to explain who won their pervious fight on a different planet. Thor’s hands go flying as he recreates what happened in the arena, while at the same time trying to keep Bruce calm so he doesn’t Hulk out.

“Are you two ever going to let this go?” I huff resting my head on the palm of my hand. “It doesn’t even matter. Bruce you were in this environment for a long time, and Thor you were trying to protect yourself. You two are friends and made it out of there together.”

“Yeah but I-” Thor starts again but I cut him off with my hand.

“Stop, I beg of you.” Puffing my lower lip out for affect. “It gives me a migraine, so drop it.”

“Ouch, look at who woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Nat says walking in.

She grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and stands next to Bruce. I’m not quite sure what is going on between them. Nat gives him the flirty butterfly eyes every time he’s in the room, but I can’t figure out of Bruce is ignoring it or just happens to be that oblivious. Nat told me that he is afraid of hurting her, but she called bullshit on that a long time ago. There is nothing more he can do to hurt her that hasn’t already been done.

Nighttime came a lot sooner than expected, as it does almost every day. About every night I’m woken up by Bucky, though I can’t give him and his nightmares all the credit. My body is practically programed to wake up at certain times throughout the night and to small noises – just like when I was growing up – if that’s what we want to call it.

“No no no!” My ears ring on my pillow.

It’s not like it’s loud or anything, but this is all I hear night after night so given it has been a month it’s almost expected of me to have a negative reaction. Though tonight something feels strange. I was already up, having been awoke by my own nightmare, but my heart almost aches for Bucky tonight.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always felt for the guy. I know what it’s like to have a past that was easy to forget. I had an abusive dad who thankfully passed while I was still young, leaving me with my aunt who later dumped me on the streets. At the age of 10 I was on my own, I struggled with my powers, finding food, fought with other homeless people, and had one hell of a time trying to keep from getting sick.

Without much thought I pull a hoodie over my head and walk out of my room. Trying to be as quiet as possible my toes land me right in front of his door. I can hear my heart racing in my ears. What if he can hear it too?

“Bucky.” You whisper as loud as you can. “It’s me, (Y/N).”

“What do you want?” He seethes opening the door just enough for me to see his face.

“I just… I just wanted to – to,” all sense of words stumbled out of my brain just for this moment. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.” I slowly ease out.

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together but he slowly inches the door slightly open allowing me entrance to his room. My eyes scan the area. Like everyone else there is a bed and a table with a lamp next to it, but that’s it. Other than his arm laying across the little table there isn’t anything else in the room. Kinda odd for someone who used to live before and during World War II.

“It’s all gone.” His raspy voice causes me to jump. “My stuff, it was all lost when I was. No one keeps the things of a dead man.”

“Bucky, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” he interrupts me with a shake of the head. “So what were you dreaming about?”

Clearly this was the wrong choice of words. Bucky’s expression goes nonexistent again, he just looks numb. There is no indication that he will speak. Good job (Y/N), you got him talking but had to go screw it up. Quickly apologizing the room falls silent as my eyes stare at him sitting on the bed.

“You don’t have to tell me, I understand having a past you’d rather forget.” Still no answer, but at least his eyebrows raise in surprise.

“Why don’t you like me?” The words come rushing out.

Probably not the best choice of words either but at least I get more of a reaction out of him. If my eyes aren’t betraying me I could have sworn I saw a smile spread across his face for a split second. God if only he would do that more often. He doesn’t seems as terrifying and intense when he loosens up.

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” he begins. “You just have a way of making me feel uneasy.”

Heat rises to my cheeks as I hide my face hoping he doesn’t notice. A little smile plays on my lips as my heart starts racing once more. Turning back around to face him I can tell by his eyes that he noticed his effect on me.

“Well I hope it’s not in a bad way,” I say plopping down next to him. “We fight alongside each other.”

“No,” he pauses. “Nothing like that.”

“Good.” I rise back to my feet and attempt to tower over him. “Because I have hopes in becoming really good friends.”

Next >

#Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky x reader #Barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #Bucky #Bucky Barnes #Sebastian stan #Sebastian Stan x Reader #fanfic #avengers #training #avatar the last airbender #abilities #love

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15001700tt · 6 years

Text

Mix And Match

Jongin X Song Yong Sang (Alex)

werewolf! Prince! Kai x Human! Princess Yong Sang (You)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

PART 1

The Pack and Humans have had a peace treaty that kept them hostile towards each other, to further this peace holding the Humans and The Pack decided to take step forward and meet up and hold a peace gathering between the two families.

The day came and Both Kings sat down at the dinner table in the werewolf territory for safety measures. They begin to discuss the measures they need to achieve to uphold the peace even longer as the war continues on. This started when a werewolf mated with a human, it started an uproar and New Age. People were furious but after a while they got over it, the New age started when two different beings mated, it messed with traditional values and biology. They created a new race, before the New Age a werewolf had never imprinted on a human before. The commotion caused the Royal families to take some precaution towards the new findings. Both kingdoms were not heartless, this was something that wasn’t taken light heartedly but also not sadistic, both races decided to not separate the mates from each other so they made a peace treaty that will last a long time.

A new threat rose when the Kims were in power of the Pack and the Songs were in power for the human race. The vampires, weren’t the most vicious out there in this world of supernaturals, because the Fae were the worst, but the races dealt with them long time ago and they don’t bother the species anymore. The Coven wasn’t the friendliest either, but they mostly minded their business.

But now they are out for blood for some reason that occured a long time ago. So to keep the peace with at least someone, the Kings of the Humans and the Pack met to discuss a marriage between their kids. The human Princess, Song Yong Sang and the Pack’s Prince, Kim Jong In. granted it is not the best position that she’s ever been in, but it wasnt the worst. Being a warrior princess and a stubborn daughter wasnt an easy thing that her parents agreed on. But they still love her which is why she’s still here today, she really wanted to fight them on this meeting but she couldn't really do anything about except whine about it. Which she did to her younger cousins Hyun Jin and Ji Mi, step sisters but inseparable since a young age.

“I just dont get why I have to go” she whined, to them the night before as they came to visit and ask her if she’s getting married.

“Its your chance to meet him and decide from there, you’re jumping to conclusions right now, he could be a very kind person, you know” Hyun Jin tried to reason with her.

“But I dont wanna meet him, I am fine being single” she huffed

“You’re being immature, have you ever thought that maybe your parents arent going to marry you off in a jiffy, they’ll probably agree to let him court you first” Ji Mi rolled her eyes at her tactics.

“I am sorry, who’s older here? Cuz its seems to not be the oldest” Hyun Jin teased. Yong Sang rolled my eyes smiling at her.

“Give him a chance you might actually like him, i mean have you ever seen his face? Its angelic, I am sure he’s very kind” Hyun Jin added after a moment with a sigh, again my eyes were completing a circle but this time Ji Mi joined me.

“Is that all you care about?” she grunted kicking her softly. She grinned at us before continuing, “Dont be like that! You know he’s very hot, especially his Nobles? I cant even believe that such fine human beings could exist” she sighed dreamily and very dramatically.

“That’s because they arent, they’re werewolves” Ji Mi deadpanned

“So this is what you guys do on your spare time when I am not around” she mused at them, Hyun Jin and Ji Mi’s cheeks flared red.

“No” Ji Mi denied

“Liar! You admitted that Kyungsoo is hot yesterday!” Hyun Jin accused. The princess burst in laughter when Ji Mi covered her face in embarrassment.

“You guys are tempting me to take you with me tomorrow just to see you guys get all squirmy and shy” she joked. They shook their heads ferociously at her, she smirked.

The next day was spent getting ready for the dinner, she wore a beautiful blue dress with a white shawl, she loves this dress, she sighs in annoyance, ‘such a waste on something so...annoying.’

Her parents complimented her and told her how the night was going to go.

“So once we get there we’re going to have small talk first then once we move to dinner and after we eat, you and him will leave so we can talk about the proposal” the King listed off, while her mother added after him.

“Please be on your best behavior, and try to get along with him because if this ends well you’ll be courted by him for at least two months” her eyes narrowed at the thought but she tried to think positively and instead put a smile on her face. He might be nice.

she kept on repeating that in her head all the way to his front gates. This was her first time seeing their home and it was magnificent. The green was everywhere it reached the lowest ground to the tallest towers. The towers were a royal blue that was appealing to the eyes, it was her favorite color, hence her dress. She mentally groaned, great he’s gonna think she did this on purpose.

Funny, her heart was beating at a crazy speed. She tried to calm it down by taking slow breaths but it didn't help. They reached the front door and were greeted by the King and Queen themselves.They gave off an aura of power and knowledge, it was intimidating. They greeted her parents before turning to the young girl with twinkling kind eyes, they didn't seem that scary anymore.

“Oh my! you are so beautiful” the Queen complimented her causing her to shuffle her feet before forcing herself to stop because ‘princesses dont shuffle their feet when nervous’ her annoying Lady in Waiting’s voice rang in her head, she bowed in respect and thanked her.

“Thank you, your highness”

“Oh no, no formalities please! Were going ot be family just Mrs. Kim is fine.” she waved off her formal greeting.

“Yes i agree with my dear wife Mr. Kim is fine” the king added as i bowed respectively to him too. We made our way inside as the king quickly added, “i apologize for my son’s absence, he got caught up with a meeting concerning our positions in the battle, i am sure he’ll be here within a few moments.” i shook my head and smiled at his apology, at least i dont have to deal with him for now.

Like my father had prepared me, they had a small talk before we moved on to dinner, their son still not showing up. I honestly think this meeting might go faster if he never shows up because then i wont really have talk to him.

Unfortunately my prayers werent answered because midway in dinner the doors opened and came in a strutting tall figure that had an apologetic smile on his face. I Know its him because Hyun Jin shoved a picture in my face last night. My heart decided that beating at an abnormal speed is what it should do when we made eye contact, then tingles spread through my body. It seems that all conversation stopped when he stepped in the room, as we continued to make eye contact my parents cleared their throats, snapping my attention towards them. Noticing how the Prince’s parents were smiling with mirth swimming in their eyes. His eyes turning a quick red before disappearing as if it never happened, i elected to ignore it.

“I apologize sincerely for my absence, i had to deal with a few minor issues regarding the war” he stated with a sweet smile on his face that won my parents over, making them shake their heads in dismissal of his rude action. I mentally rolled my eyes, they probably think hes going to be a great husband. I was fooled except he hasnt done anything bad except be late so i cant really make him a villain, yet.

“Come, come! This is princess Yong Sang from the Song family” the Queen introduced us. I bowed while he took my hand, igniting tingles in my arm and kissed it lightly. My heart fluttered as i scowled at it in my head. I am supposed to not like him. What is this? Is he playing mind tricks on me? As he straightened up again he smiled a very attractive smile at me that made me shoot him a small one back. I swear what my cousins said last night is messing with my brain because now i am considering giving him a chance.

Dinner wasnt uneventual, unlike many others i have been through, he was seated right across from me and he kept on shooting me heart stopping smiles. My heart couldn't take it and i was very relieved when they announced dinner was over but the dread settled when i heard the Queen suggest for the Prince to show me around the castle while they talked. I was not surprised when he agreed and offered his arm for me to take. Making the same feeling tingle up my arm again. I swear i am not going to survive tonight if e keeps doing this to me. As the door shut closed behind us, he turned to me and asked,

“What would you like to see first?”

“What would you suggest?” i asked back curiously, i am going to try to push back all the negative and tingling thoughts and try to enjoy my time here, because at least my parents picked it a beautiful man for me to marry.

“In my opinion the weaponry and the library are the best.” he said after a long pause.

“I would like to see the weaponry then” i confirmed, causing his eyes to widen in shock. I guess i understood his surprise i was in a very restricting dress and i didn't appear to have that kind of likes. I nodded in confirmation when he raised an eyebrow.

“Please, lead the way” i said with a small smile. This boy doesnt even know what hes about to get into.

“Alright, my lady. Would you like to hear about war stories then?” he joked.

“Yes please that would be wonderful”i wanted to add ‘i am curious at what is your choice of weapon’ but i am going to ask later.

So as we walked, he told me stories of the wars he participated in, when we arrived, i was shaking my head laughing.

“Really? How did you think telling a warlord to “shut the fuck up” wouldn’t have consequences?”

” If it makes it any better, I meant it.” he refuted my remark. As we went in, i was already comfortable around. The thought scared me because i just met him, but it feels like ive known him for years. As we walked around i noticed that there was a part of the room he avoids. As i looked closer i understood why, it was silver, i remember that his kind cannot stand silver. It physically burns them.

“I wonder why the Pack’s weaponry has a section with silver laced weapons?” i said outloud pointedly looked at the Prince. He chuckled and turned around.

“Because sometimes even your own kind cant turn against you.”

“Well then how did you use them?” i questioned.

“When we needed those weapons we had a seer enchant them.” he explained vaguely.for now i am going accept this answer.

“So which weapon do you prefer best?” he asked, beating me in asking the question ive been itching to ask.

“I prefer small daggers” i answered, “what aboout you?”

“I am good with swords” i nodded. I have to admit he proved me wrong, i thought he was going to be unpleasant.

“Library next?” i asked. He neared me and nodded his head before tilting his head in a cute puppy kinda way.

“I would like to show you something. But you have to hold onto me” he proposed. I was curious so i gave him an okay sign and held onto his arm. He wrapped his hand on mine and smiled at me mischievously before the world was whirling around me and landed in the ground.

My head was spinning still not understanding what he just did before my eyes sharply looked into his.

“You teleport” he shook his head with a grin on his face. I was still not stable and i was swayed a little too far before he caught me.

“Are you alright?” he questioned, the mirth quickly disappearing from his eyes and worry replacing it.

“I am alright, just still dizzy from that” i gave him a small smile in reassurance. After i steadied myself we made our way inside the awaiting open doors of the huge library. I looked at the books around and quickly turned.

“Ou do know that my parents are here so we could get married, right?”, i totally forgot that werewolves have mates until i remembered when i looked at one of the book’s title.

“Yes i did, originally i had a problem with it” he paused before looking at my eyes deeply, making my stomach churn. “But then i saw how beautiful you are” he added with a slight smirk.

“Oh my god stop, this is serious what about your mate?” i rolled my eyes smiling before turning serious.

“I dont think she’ll mind.” he shrugged. My head didn't comprehend what he just said.

“Excuse me?” he repeated the sentence again, and i looked at him like he was crazy, which honestly i think he is. He doesnt look like he’s kidding.

“Explain” i deadpanned.

“Shes kinda standing in front of me right now.” he stated with a big smile on his face, it seems my brain is slow today because it took me a full minute to realize hes talking about me.

“I need to sit down” i backed up into a chair, and plopped down.

After a few minutes i spoke again, “so i am your mate, and this is going to work out” i stated, confusing him.

“Look, i wasnt keen on the idea of marrying you, because i was okay being single, and now this whole thing with the mates, i mean ok, so this worked out for both our favors, because you didnt turn out be a complete asshole and i dont actually mind you but like please dont expect me to fall in love with you like...today” i ranted, as he listened, i could tell he wanted to object over a few things that i said but then he just accepted that i am not budging.

“Of course, i didn't expect you to.” i felt like he was going to say more but then the butler interrupted saying that they needed us back.

“I guess i’ll see you later” i said to him as he walked me back to my parents.

“Yeah, i look forward to it.” he smiled at me. And my heart felt like it could burst but i held my breath until we were out of sight. I took a deep breath, this wasnt what i had in mind.

#jongin #kai #werewolf! exo #werewolf #AU #EXOOOO #exo fanfiction #exo #exo ot9 #exoot9 #ot9

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purrxtina43 · 3 years

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I have no idea how to use this site anymore. It’s been a really long time since I’ve written and I feel like it will be so therapeutic to write and the fact that I know no one reads my blog makes me feel even better haha I can write more freely and just write about whatever goes on in this strange brain of mine.

So whats on my mind tonight that is keeping me up...I have been triggered lately by a few things that have to do with trauma I’ve experienced but literally have never done the work to heal it. Not because I wouldnt do it but because I didnt know how to heal from it. I thought I was healing from it by burying it down and moving forward. My first relationship really fucked me up and apparently it’s time to talk about it. We loved each other very much. He was my first love and I thought he was the coolest guy ever and I loved that he didnt care what other people thought of him because I always cared about what everyone thought of me...all the time. That relationship was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. Years of being verbally abused when he would go back to doing drugs secretly. Years of him harassing me saying i threatened his daughter when I did no such thing. years of being told he could find you at any time. No support from my family. no surprise there. Honestly I kind of get it..my grandfather was dying a slow terrible death in the Dominican Republic. The way this guy,,,affected my self esteem is just...mind blowing. I think he wanted me to believe that we were on the same level but we weren’t. I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I was completely innocent in that relationship. I was really messed up back then too. My mental illness was running rampant and I had no idea..but does making mistakes in relationship and in life excuse verbal abuse? His words have stayed with me throughout the years. It’s very easy to remember the horrible things he said. It’s taken me a really long time to not feel bad for him as strange as it sounds. He knew me so well like the darkest things and the best things. So for him to tell me what a piece of shit hoe I am...really has been hard to get out of my head. This year I let him go. The trauma work still needs to be done but I ended contact a while ago and I’m praying that its the last time. I feel like it is but I hate how with him..it’s just unpredictable but I hear he has a girlfriend so maybe he really has moved on and will leave me alone. I personally am fine if we never speak again. I dont want to wish him anything bad. I just personally would like to never hear from him again. There were times during the pandemic where..my anxiety started getting paralyzing again. It’s still quite hard for me to leave the house. I feel like im being judged from the moment I step out the door. For a while I was having trouble feeling safe outside of my house and I feel like it’s happening again but this time it’s not because I’m afraid of him. I used to get scared going to empty the garbage or taking my daughter to the park by myself. Now..I dont feel the fear of him every day showing up. Although I realize anything is possible especially based on recent events that have been triggering. I think the pain surrounding this past relationship...is probably deep and the wound is still open and buried behind the surface but this time I’m finally ready to face the pain and start working on healing. I wish i had known that I could have started to work on this a long time ago but everything also happens when it’s supposed to.

I’ve always known that I wasn’t “normal”. As a kid I would stress and get anxiety about taking the bus everyday to school and finding the bus at the end of the day. That anxiety is still around to this day. I struggle with public transportation, driving, daily life. Breathing lol It’s an everyday struggle that some people close to me wont be able to understand. I try really hard to push through it but it’s become paralyzing. my world is very small. I can drive to work, to my daughters school and back home. Mind you thats all incredibly close driving wise but even so i still wake up with the dread/anxiety of having to drive in the morning and having to pick up my daughter either after work or go home first but when i go home first, I usually dont want to leave the house again or if i go pick her up ill take a walk to do it. partially to escape and partially cause I sit at a desk all day so my body is just tired and I want to be more active still. Just lately Ive been feeling a bit depressed again and I’m always exhausted...I think thats all I have to share for now. I’ll do a bit of writing probably later or tomorrow. xo

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