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captian-sassy · 1 year

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#shazam #shazam fury of the gods #shazam!#shazam: fury of the gods #freddy freeman #shazamily #billy batson #mary bromfield #darla dudley #eugene choi #pedro peña #fake tweets #incorrect quotes shazam #incorrect shazam #incorrect shazam quotes #shazam incorrect quotes

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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[when Duke babysits]

Damian: Thomas, we're hungry!

Jon: What's for dinner?

Billy: We're hungry, dude!

Duke, frying a bottle of ketchup: *screams*

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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Billy: I don't want to be adopted by anyone from the League. Batman asked and I had to buy him an ice cream cause I felt bad for saying no.

Freddy: Ha, at least no one tried anymore, right? Eugene and I have a betting pool, so please tell me they hate you

Billy: Haha. I mean, Wonder Woman kinda seems like she wants to? She pretty much tackled me into a hug and made me regret drinking coffee-

Freddy: Backtrack. Backtrack. Wonder Woman. Wants to adopt you.

Billy: I mean, yeah, but of course I said no-

Freddy: WONDER WOMAN. WANTS TO ADOPT US.

Billy: I don't see how this relates to you but-

Freddy, writing in the Shazam Fam GC: everybody buckle up new mom just dropped

-

Diana, proudly showing off pictures of her newly adopted kids: And this is my beloved Mary. My beloved Eugene. My beloved darling Darla, and my beloved Pedro, and my beloved Freddy, and my beloved Billy. They enjoy video games and snacks

Bruce, taking this as an obvious challenge, taking out the Batfamily Batalbum: This is Jason. His favorite hobby is murder

#bruce wayne #diana prince #wonder woman #wonder mom #GIVE ME DIANA AND HER 6 MARVEL DUCKLINGS #billy batson #shazam #freddy freeman #shazam family #justice league #dc #dc comics #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #text post

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superbat-love · 8 months

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While on a galactic mission in the outer planets…

Shazam: Did you hear the news? I can’t believe that the Joker stole all of Batman’s money. Poor Batman. I know what that’s like. Some guy always tries to steal mine during lunch.

Superman: Huh, Fawcett City must be more dangerous than I thought. Anyway, it’s just not right. I offered to talk to the Joker, but Batman told me to stay out of Gotham. He said he’d handle it by himself.

Shazam: I wish I could help with his money situation, but I don’t get enough allowance. Oh, how about we hold a fundraiser? Or an auction! We could sell something valuable and donate the money to Batman.

Superman: That’s a great idea Shazam. [Spots something on the ground] Hey, what do we have here? [Picks up a shiny object] It looks like a diamond! Wow, this deserted planet is covered in them!

Shazam and Superman stare at each other.

Superman: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Shazam: Let’s bring this planet back home! We can put it beside the Watchtower since there’s plenty of space there; you pull and I’ll push. And then Batman can live on Planet Diamond!

Shazam and Superman high-five each other.

#the duo of bad ideas #incorrect dc quotes #dc fanfic #drabble #text post #dc #superbat #superman x batman #batman x superman #superman/batman #batman/superman #superman #batman #clark kent #bruce wayne #shazam #billy batson

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ticklet0d · 1 month

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Billy: If I were a magic wizard I wouldn't harm people when they pissed me off. I'd just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants or every time someone said the word "Thursday" they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds.

Freddy: I think you would be a very good wizard.

#billy batson #freddy freeman #batman #thats such a weird ship nam #incorrect quotes #shazam

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versasfanficwastedump · 2 months

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Post-reveal Billy Batson: Oh, hey, Batman. Did you get my report on the Finley murder?

Bruce: Yeah, I looked it over. Nice work.

Billy: Good. Thanks, dad.

[silence]

Billy: Why is everyone staring at me?

Diana: You just called Batman "dad.” You said, "thanks, dad."

Billy: What? No, I didn't. I said, "thanks, man."

Bruce: Do you see me as a father figure, Captain?

Billy: No. If anything, I see you as a "bother" figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.

Clark: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Billy: I didn't call him dad!

Bruce: No, no, no, no, William. I take it as a compliment.

Oliver: It's not a big deal. I called Dinah "mom" once, and she's my fiancée.

Billy: Guys, jump on that! Green Arrow has psycho-sexual issues!

#incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #this happened #source: brooklyn nine nine #billy batson #bruce wayne #diana prince #clark kent #oliver queen #shazam #batman #wonder woman #superman #green arrow

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darkcrowprincess · 5 months

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*Post Shazam 2: Fury of the gods* The justice league*angry*: what kind of idiots do you have working here?!

Shazam Freddy and Billy strike heroic pose*talking about the shazam family*: the finest in Philadelphia sir/ma'am.

#shazam #shazam fury of the gods #shazam family #billy batson #freddy freeman #shazamily #captain marvel #freebat #idiots in love #theyre idiots your honor #to be fair these kids are doing their best #incorrect quotes

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fandomnerd9602 · 6 months

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Could I request Mary Marvel and Lena Luthor (separate) with a speedster reader who makes amazing puns like "Be back in a Flash!" or "Here's a Flash fact for ya!"

Y/N runs up and kisses Mary…

Mary: love you baby

Y/N: love you too, duty calls and I’ll be back in a flash (winks)

Y/N runs off…

Mary: you’re so corny…hey! We’re supposed to be fighting crime together!

Mary flies after Y/N…

Lena looks around at the mess in her home…

Lena texts Y/N…

Y/N runs through and cleans the whole house in the blink of an eye…

Y/N: does your flashing cleaner get his reward?

Lena: cuddles on the couch coming right up

#dc comics #dc comics incorrect quotes #dc comics fluff #lena luthor #mary marvel #katie mcgrath #grace fulton #grace caroline currey #mary bromfield #shazam #lena luthor x reader #mary marvel x reader #arrow verse #shazam fury of the gods

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bat-stuff · 1 year

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Jon: I think we're missing something.

Billy: Teamwork?

Damian: Cohesion?

Colin: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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unicornkilla109 · 1 year

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Billy: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Y/n: This is a lie.

Y/n: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Y/n: HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Billy: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Y/n: Nope, there's 26.

Billy: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Y/n: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Billy: You'll get the D later ;).

Billy, throwing their head into Y/n's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Y/n, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Billy: I like your new pants!

Y/n: Thanks, they were 50 off!

Billy: I’d like them better if they were 100 off. *winks*

Y/n: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Billy: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Y/n: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Billy.

Y/n: I owe you one.

Billy: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Billy: I love you.

Y/n, not paying attention: What was that?

Billy: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Billy: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

Y/n: ...Have you never taken a shower before?

#shazam fanfic #dc incorrect quotes #dc #dc comics #funny quotes #billy batson x reader #billy batson #Y/n #reader

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captian-sassy · 1 year

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Freddy: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t been arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Billy: Nat 20 charisma.

Freddy: That is NOT how that works.

#shazam #shazam fury of the gods #shazam!#shazam: fury of the gods #billy batson #freddy freeman #shazamily #incorrect quotes shazam #incorrect shazam #incorrect shazam quotes #shazam incorrect quotes

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incorrectbatfam · 3 days

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Jon: If Billy and I were drowning, who would you save?

Damian: You two can't swim?

Billy: It's a hypothetical question, Damian. Who would you save?

Damian: My time and effort.

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lithiumseven · 2 years

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Captain Marvel, an actual 12 year old, trying to pass as a grownup: I will take a cup of coffee please

Waitress: Alright, how would you like it?

Captain Marvel, panicking: Uh…….sunny side up?

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bruciemilf · 2 years

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Billy: Okay, so, your lame no killing code extends to everyone? As in everyone.

Bruce as Batman who owes Clark a favour and must now babysit the League baby: That's what the every is for.

Billy: No yeah I got that part, I just mean. There has to be someone you want to kill, like, really badly. Joker?

Bruce: Killing him won't make a difference because he's devoid of anything that makes a person worthwhile, and it would bring him satisfaction. So no.

Billy: Okay, point. Would you kill Doomsday for a million dollars?

Bruce: Firstly, the chances of me successfully killing Doomsday are equal to none. Secondly, monetising life shouldn't be acceptable

Billy, has no idea what monetising means: Okay fine. Pfft, would you kill Bruce Wayne for --

Bruce, not missing a beat: I'd do it for a can of beans and a microwaved soda

#billy: i......i was joking #bruce: -- i want to watch the life leave his eyes slowly and slowly cut off all his limbs with a rusty batarang and also--#batman #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #shazam #billy batson #justice league #clark ultimate bruce wayne simp flying through a wall: youd do WHAT to WHO #text #incorrect dc #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes

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the-sprog · 2 years

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Green lantern: "You are a child! You can't possibly ask us to keep putting you in so much danger!"

Captain Marvel: "One of your weaknesses is the colour yellow"

GL: "Well I-"

Captain Marvel: "I am immune to everything but magic. I have one less weakness than Superman over there"

Superman: "Why am I getting dragged into this?"

Captain Marvel: "Magic is a lot harder to come by than, say, a fucking yellow sweater! What happens when you have to fight aliens that are yellow by nature, huh? What happens then? You call Supes? And how many other heavy hitters do you think you should have available at all times? Just him? And you- no wait, you're getting your ass handed to you by the yellow aliens, I forgot"

GL: "..."

GL: "Damn kid"

Flash: "I'm not gonna lie to you GL. You lost this fight. I was going to side with you, but kid's got a point. Brutal."

Wonder woman: "And I feel that, the moment the young Captain decides to put himself into the superhero fights, it would be more of an hindrance to try and stop him"

Flash: "Yeah. And also I feel like we might not even be able to. Dude's a tank with powers given by the gods. I'm not touching that"

#i had this conversation in my head for a while #sorry #its very bad #but i think its funny #and i love hating on gl #billy batson #captain marvel #dc #shazam #justice league #justice league incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #green lantern

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mythicalmagical-monkeyman · 10 months

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LBD: *approaching MK* MK: Wha-what is she doing? The Mayor: Out of chaos, she enters mans mind and makes it whole MK: Oh, oooh ho ho, my mind is already trash, so I'd actually like to see you try because no body has the BALLS to handle what's inside my brain

#lmk the mayor #lmk the (not) mayor #lmk mk #lmk qi xiaotian #qi xiaotian #lmk lady bone demon #lmk lbd #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk incorrect quotes #lego monkie kid incorrect quotes #Source: Shazam: fury of the gods

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