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venusdeluxe · 1 year

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I'm freed from Twitter, here's the Spider-Man No Way Home review I wrote when it first came out. It's so stupidly long.

I don't really know what started my love for Spider-Man. I can't even remember where I first learned about him, it just feels like he's always been a part of my life. I watched the cartoons, all the movies, I got any game I saw with Spider-Man on it at the store, I had a Spider-Girl toy that I thought was just Spider-Man, but it was actually Mayday Parker the whole time and I didn't notice. Point is, I really love this character and it feels like I always have. As a fan I also like to find the positives in all of his movies, even if I greatly dislike them. All that is to say that I am incredibly biased, this movie means a lot to me and I don't think any other singular character could give me the kinda experience I got from this film (except maybe a Star Wars movie). I absolutely loved it. Even as "pandering" as it might seem with how much of it is about bringing things over from previous incarnations of the character that people feel really nostalgic for, I think No Way Home uses those elements to really great effect. It's clever, it says something about the core of Peter Parker, and it teaches this younger Peter a lot. It's hilarious, it's painful, it's exciting, and it feels so… sincere. (I'm gonna be using that word a lot).

It's kinda hard to hold it in for too long, so I just have to get it out. There's three Spider-Men in this movie, the big three live-action Spideys finally coming together. Holy shit. Tobey and Andrew jump straight from the worlds of Sam Raimi and Mark Webb into the MCU, bringing their own flavors and personalities, but still feeling like they've grown since we last saw them. Tobey is of course older, a bit wiser, and pretty mellowed out, polite and quite positive. Andrew is still bitter from what happened with Gwen and admits he let his anger get to him more after that event, but here he still brings a lot of love, charm, fun and sarcasm into the movie. They really shine once they enter the scene, and it doesn't feel like they're purely here to get paid.

Andrew's line before the final battle, saying he always wanted brothers, really stood out to me personally. It made me smile so hard. I don't think it was meant to invoke this specifically, but it reminded me of Peter's clones in the comics, Ben Reilly and Kaine, who sorta become Peter's brothers. And I think that kind of brotherly dynamic was the perfect way to pull this off. I was very skeptical of the idea to bring the three Spideys together when the initial rumors started to circulate, thinking that it wouldn't work as well as Into the Spider-Verse did with all of its distinct Spiders. Since then I’ve warmed up to the idea, and my god seeing it for myself was truly magic. The banter between the three Peters in this movie really gives that brotherly vibe. There's such a sincere love that develops between them in the short time they have together as they bond over shared traumas and desires and weird experiences as superheroes. Tobey and Andrew have felt all the same things that Tom is feeling during their first meeting, soon after Aunt May's death, and they serve more of a purpose in the film by helping him through it, and not just being there to fight in the finale. I also love the moment where Andrew calls himself lame after Tobey and Tom talk about how they've fought aliens, and Tobey backs up and repeats to him that he's not lame, he's amazing, even trying to get Andrew to say it to himself. They're all so supportive of each other, it's really great. And their last hug made my heart absolutely flutter. It's just so… sincere!! And sweet! I feel like there aren't enough hugs in superhero movies. They're brothers, they love each other, and it feels like they were destined to be brought together one day. It's beautiful. Their brotherly bond makes me wanna see them stay together forever, but of course Tobey and Andrew must return to their lives. If they all come back in Across/Beyond the Spider-Verse, I will cry.

Speaking of Into the Spider-Verse, it is certaintly easy to compare this movie to that as another multiversal Spider-Man film. They do share that aspect, but they are so completely different that I can't really compare them. Into the Spider-Verse was an origin story for Miles Morales, while also being all about the Spider-Man identity as a whole and what it stands for, the idea that anyone can be Spider-Man. It's why Miles was such an effective protagonist for that story. No Way Home shrinks that lens and focuses soley Peter Parker (three of him even!), and the kind of struggles that often define his career. It's not exactly an origin story in the same way, but a continuation of a character we've already seen plenty of times. It's about his on-screen legacy and all the things that bring these three distinct adaptations together, while pushing our newest and youngest iteration to his absolute limits and beyond. The movie does a lot of work to "fix" some of the issues people have expressed about Tom's version of the character, but to me it never actively feels like that's what it's doing. It feels like a natural progression for him, and a transition into a newer, darker and more mature stage in his life as he enters adulthood and takes on new responsibilities. While none of us have faced circumstances as fantastical as Peter does in this movie, the ending gives off a feeling I can relate to. When you enter that next stage in life, like leaving high school to go to college or get a job, you often drift apart from people who were once so close to you. It hurts, and for someone like me it's difficult to let people go, but it's a part of growing up. You grow away from people, and that's natural as sad as it might sound. That's not exactly what happens here, there are supernatural causes for Peter drifting away from Ned and MJ, but it invokes that feeling which grounds it in reality for me. And even then, there's still hope left for a future rekindling of these relationships if you look closely and see the Black Dahlia necklace Peter bought for MJ in Far From Home still hanging around her neck. You can drift apart from people, but you might still find them again further down the road. For now though, Peter has been given a fresh start, a fresh suit and a new apartment where he can start to rebuild his life, and continue being Spider-Man. Even after all the pain it's brought him, he can never forget the lessons taught by his family, his mentors, and his brothers. As long as he wields great power, he must always be responsible with it, and by the end he's given a second chance to take on that responsibility and take on his duties while protecting the people he loves the most.. The events that lead down this path started in Far From Home when he forgot that lesson, and this movie guarantees that it'll stay forever. He feels like a truly tragic character now, which is made so painful because they've actively made him so likable and charming and adorable in all his previous appearences. We met him in such a young and innocent state, and Tom's Peter has been defined by that innocence and optimism much more than Tobey and Andrew ever were, so seeing where this movie leads him just pains the soul. But it's good! As much as I think people exaggerate how miserable Peter's life should be, tragedy has always been a part of it, and I think this movie does that very well while not letting it make the whole thing a downer of an experience. It's still so fun and exciting, while giving all the tragic beats the room they need to breath. It's a delicate balance that I think is handled with a lot of care, more than many other MCU films.

The first bit of the movie has the same kinda tone as Homecoming and Far From Home which eventually takes a turn into darkness and tragedy, but again it doesn't feel like total whiplash, it feels like a transition. The movie takes all the neccessary steps to get us from that John Hughes fun to the darker new reality. I think in addition to the classic "great power" mantra, the ending embodies an important line from Spider-Man 2 said by Aunt May, and that Peter repeats to Doc Ock. "Sometimes to do what's right we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams". I'm honestly surprised that wasn't one of the lines they referenced since it is so applicable, but either way I think it's fitting that the words of two Aunt Mays feel so central to this movie's ultimate conclusion.

Going back to Into the Spider-Verse, another thing that seperates these two is No Way Home's focus on Spidey baddies of the past. ITSV certaintly attempts to give Kingpin a sympathic backstory and motivation for doing what he's doing and is otherwise jam-packed with classic Spidey foes, but it still isn't really about the villains in the same way No Way Home is. This movie is all about saving them, redeeming them, and getting them home. It's like a twist on ITSV's plot to get all the Spideys home, with NWH adding an extra layer to that. One of the biggest conflicts in the movie is the disagreement between Doctor Strange and Spider-Man on how to handle them. Spider-Man desperately wants to cure them and send them home safely and alive, while Strange is rigid in his belif that their only destiny is to die. It's such a smart and Spider-Man-y way to deal with this multiverse drama. I don't think anyone watching the ending of Far From Home expected it to lead to this sorta multiversal madness, but they really make it work anyway.

And as we're talking about villains… Green Goblin. Holy shit. He's not really in that much of the movie, but he is a god damn demon in the time he has. Breaking the mask early on was a smart idea I feel, as it opens Willem Dafoe up to really shine even brighter than previously as Green Goblin, letting us see every bonkers expression on his beautiful face. When Goblin takes over he becomes so insanely sinister, in a way that only Willem could pull off this well, and it is so god damn entertaining. He's clearly having a great time playing the role, and it's really makes him stand out among other MCU villains (besides the fact that he's literally from another franchise). I think he's the perfect villain for this movie. He's the perfect challenge for Peter's desire to save the villains since the Goblin persona is so cruel, and evil, and heartless. Doc Ock, Electro and Lizard aren't exactly the nicest guys when they're in villain mode and they're quite resistant to the idea of being "cured", but they're nothing compared to the pure evil that Norman's alter ego showcases. It really adds to the feeling that the whole world is against Peter. Strange, the general public, the media, and even the people he's trying to save with Goblin going as far as killing our dear Aunt May. And it makes Peter really doubt his whole mission in the movie, and the wise words of his aunt. Goblin doesn't wanna just kill Spider-Man, he wants to twist him. He wants to push him over the edge, just like he tried to in his original appearence, and he gets even closer to that goal in this movie leading to one of my favorite moments of the film. After Spidey and Goblin's raw final brawl, Peter is ready to just murder him with his own glider, way more directly than when Tobey just dodged out of the way. And right at the last second, Tobey catches it. No dialogue, no music, just a knowing look from Tobey to Tom, as Tom's Peter relents and lowers the glider. Tobey saves Tom from completing his dark path, and makes up for one of his biggest regrets by saving Norman and allowing a new timeline to be created without the fallout between Peter and Harry. It's such a great moment, Tobey's eyes alone manage to say so much. Absolutely powerful.

The previous two Spidey movies have had very strong villains in my opinion, soaring a lot higher than many of the other boring grey villains in the rest of the MCU. Michael Keaton's Vulture has personally been my favorite since Homecoming came out, and Jake Gyllenhaal's Mysterio was insanely entertaining in Far From Home once the twist happens, with his presence looming over this film as his final illusion lays ruin upon Peter’s life. I was very much looking forward to another new baddie in this one before we started hearing about all the old ones coming back, which felt a little disappointing at the time. But as much as I would've liked to see Kraven or Michael Mando's Scorpion finally enter the picture, I was still very happy to see how the returning foes were handled here. Films like Spider-Man 3 and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 have often been criticized for having too many villains to deal with at once, and it very much was a worry that this movie would face that same problem tenfold. We now have 5 villains in one movie, more than the two other movies I just mentioned, but No Way Home manages to pull it off incredibly well. That might in part have something to do with them all being returning villains of course, we've met these guys before and we know their history so they don't need to dedicate as much time to setting them up, but it could still easily feel very crowded anyway. But as I said before, the villains are a major focus of this film and I think that's the key that really makes it work. It's all centered around them, it's all about the debate on what to do with them and if their fates are truly sealed. They're all shown to not be truly rotten to their cores, there are people underneath those scales and lightning bolts and sand particles that deserve redemption and a second chance at life. It's kinda beautiful in a way, atleast to me. I love a good save the villains plot, and it's part of what makes this movie feel so… quintessentially Spider-Man. I think it's also part of what makes this movie feel so sincere to me. Despite the high drama and tragic tone it doesn't feel pessimistic, atleast not to me. There's a fight for hope happening. Peter is going way out of his way to rescue these guys and get them home safely, fueled by the words from his aunt, when he could so easily just do as Strange tells him and solve the problem for himself way quicker. I really think it's something beautiful.

I just have to take one paragraph to talk about the death of Aunt May. This isn't the first time I've had to see her die, but I cried just as much this time. I don't know how to even begin to describe my feeling about it. I really love Aunt May, every iteration of her brings something new to the table, but she is still always so warm and morally strong. As important as Uncle Ben is to Peter going down the path to becoming Spider-Man, it's Aunt May who consistantly takes the role of being Peter's northstar. And while she hasn't had a big role in the previous two MCU films, she is incredibly important in No Way Home. More than ever, she is Peter's moral compass and her teachings drive Peter for the rest of the movie and changes his life forever. If he is to truly become Spider-Man, he has to come to the terms with the fact that his powers give him a responsibility to do good by other people, and to do that he has to make some sacrifices. He can't have it both ways, if he wants to clean up his mess he has to give up some of the things he wants the most. That doesn't have to mean absolutely no one can ever know he's Spider-Man, but it does mean that he can't shift his responsibilities onto others like he tried to do with Mysterio. He can't be wreckless, and that is what I think is the most important lesson from May's death. God I cried so hard.

I think No Way Home might have my favorite performance of Spider-Man that anyone has given on the big screen. Tom Holland hits every beat perfectly. He's always been incredibly charming in the role, and I think he's always put in a good performance in the moments that have required him to get serious and sad and scared, but as this script turns the drama up to 11 he keeps up with it all the way. He's goofy and mischievous, he's furious and sad, he's scared and unsure, he capture so many sides of Spider-Man so, so well, I absolutely love watching him. Tom Holland's version of Spider-Man has been deeply personal for me. When Spider-Man Homecoming came out I was the exact same age as Peter was in the movie, which strengthened my connection to him and his daily struggles even more, and quickly made it my favorite Spider-Man movie. And now here we are, at the end of the trilogy, and I am once again in a similar place to Peter as I prepare myself to move on to the next stage of my life, which is one of the reasons this movie once again feels as personal as Homecoming did all those years ago. The tone is entirely different from where the trilogy started, but there are so many heart breaking connections back to the beginning and overall I think this is an amazing trilogy capper. It's been a wild ride for MCU Spider-Man, in his own movies and beyond, and after No Way Home I can say with more confidence than ever that he is my favorite Spider-Man of all time.

I can't keep rambling on, and I can't touch on every single moment I loved and every character that I adored, so I think I have to just end it here. Overall… god I wish I didn't have to wait so long to see this after everyone else was storming the theaters, but I am so happy it's finally in my brain. I adore this movie, I absolutely love it. It's kinda hard for me to not place it as my number 1 Spidey movie and MCU movie. Is it recency bias? Did the nostalgia bait get me? I don't know, and I do not care. This is everything I could've wanted it to be and so much more. It's everything I love about this character, everything I love about the MCU's incarnation of him and it ends with so much room for future stories from new creators. I can't wait to watch this over and over again in the future. I should've edited this down, but fuck it. You can't control me and I can't control my emotions. So with that, I'm just going to list a couple short bullet points of stuff I liked.

MJ absorbing Peter's optimism as his mind is shrouded in darkness is such a beautiful thing, it makes their relationship feel even stronger and their goodbye even more heartbreaking. I cried so god damn much. Also, I love Ned. Whenever a fun and goofy supporting character makes you cry, that shit is POWERFUL. AND THIS IS THE SECOND TIME HE'S DONE IT! FIRST IN ENDGAME, NOW AT THE END OF NO WAY HOME! And then they show how Peter kept his Lego Palpatine, the first thing we saw of Ned in Homecoming. God, my heart is just broken.

Michael Giacchino is a god amongst men, and he steps up his game tenfold from his previous two Spider-Scores which were already excellent on their own. What an absolute fucking genius.

The apartment fight between Spidey and Goblin is amazing, and that is all I have to say about it.

And with all that, I think I've said enough. This movie is great, and they should PUT SPOT IN THE NEXT ONE, THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!!

#spiderman #spider man #no way home #review #spiderman nwh #spider man nwh #i have never used tumblr in my life am i doing this right at all

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dlasta · 2 years

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So, I finally watched the new Spiderman with the extra spidermen.

(I watched the previous ones too, just to remember what was going on.) Been trying to think how to put in words how I feel about the whole franchise and MCU without doing an actual review or a rant.

All I got is that I really really wish they’d trust the main character to be enough. That just Peter Parker is well enough. The bells and whistles are unnecessary and more often than not they hinder the story. There is so much going on, so many characters, so much action scenes yet the actual strenghts of Holland!Spiderman are left in the background. Like, we really do need to see Aunt May more, she should be a central character, but instead we get Happy Hogan?? I get that Favreau is everybody’s buddy and whatever, but it makes no sense to fuck up a movie so he can play a bumbling and borderline creepy idiot. I genuinely hate the actor and the character now.

Too many villains mean we can’t actually focus on them and they might as well be played by no name actors. Also, so many villains means we don’t get to see the *spidermen* as much as we’d like/need to. It was so insanely frustrating to watch the movie I can’t even. So many times they ruined the impact of a moment with that obnoxious action movie structure. Holland’s acting sold so much of it but the story was just build wrong.

Anyway, I don’t think the makers know why people keep reading the comics. I don’t think they read the comics themselves so they just assume things about comics. Or they think comic book readers don’t matter, since it’s MCU and people watch superhero movies for action anyway.

It’s an ok movie, not Endgame again, but it could have been great. The material is there. Why not write is sharp and really use the oscar winning actors you have? Why not embrace the one character who is especially relevant *now*? Why the weird victim blame thing?

ps. I still don’t get MCU Strange at all. He’s there to make big effects but the sharacter is just flat. It’s all style, no substance. He’s so room temperature I can’t even hate him any more? The few moments where he’s more real is with Wong...so obviously Wong is there to walk by him once or twice. So basically he’s a plot device for big special effects and nothing else.

#caveat: spiderman is my longest read comic book #though I'm not married to a specific peter parker or spiderman #it's all valid as long as the point is remembered #with spiderman the story is always moral and a bit mean #and new york loves him #you cannot kill aunt may or mj #everybody else is fair game #basic things #spiderman #spiderman no way home #/annoyed #not a review #yeah I ended up ranting tho #fail!#still don't care even a little about strange

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imalloutofgin · 2 years

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More films I've watched recently that I haven't had time to post about...

Masters degrees are hard and I have barely any time to watch films, let alone do reviews with much detail... so here are a few lines about films I've seen recently.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013): Very aesthetic, moments I really connected with. No ending... but I've been told that's the point. 3/5 stars.

Four Rooms (1995): Delightfully weird. I had a really good time watching this. Each 'mini-film' was interesting and weird, felt like a stage play for the screen. I do kind of wish they'd dialled down the main characters weirdness at the start and made him more and more odd as each film went on and he became less in touch with reality. 4/5 stars.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021): It was fun, but to me, it was just another spider-man film. And this wasn't one of my favourite versions of that, it really seemed to drag out. Cool that all 3 of the spider-men we have seen from the last few years were on one screen though. 2/5 stars.

The Raid Redemption (2011): Absolutely phenomenal fight choreography. It could have become really boring as this film is just action, action, action, in one location, but somehow I was engaged the whole time. Wonderful filmmaking. 4.5/5 stars.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022): Very funny, deliberately weird, and I do love an actor that can poke fun at themselves. The acid scene had me in stitches. 3.5/5 stars.

How to Please a Woman (2022): A film that I felt was very out of touch and potentially problematic. While discussing it with my girlfriend, I called it the "gentrification of sex work" and I stand by that. The comedy doesn't land, and the drama doesn't work because it's trying to be a comedy. 1/5 stars.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022): Clever, insightful, funny and moving. I cried because I can see my mother in this even across a cultural divide. This is a well shot and edited film with heart and humour. 4.5/5 stars.

Hopefully I'll be back to doing regular, longer reviews soon, but I make no promises!

#film #cinema #movies #film reviews #movie review #only lovers left alive #four rooms #quentin tarentino #spiderman review #spider man no way home #the raid redemption #the unbearable weight of massive talent #nicholas cage #how to please a woman #jobu tupaki #everything everywhere all at once #imalloutofgin

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mandoreviews · 2 years

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📽 Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)

I had this all typed out last night, and it wouldn’t post, so I closed out the app like an idiot and lost the whole thing. I don’t really feel like typing it all out again, honestly. Basically, if you’ve seen this, you know it’s awesome. If you haven’t seen it, you should watch it, cuz it’s awesome.

Sex/nudity: 2/10 (shirtless males, references to sex, kissing)

Language: 2/10 (pretty normal level for Marvel movies)

Violence: 7/10 (a lot of fights, blood, etc)

Overall rating: 8/10

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guardianreadersofthegalaxy · 2 years

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My July ‘21 - July’22 film ranking:

1. Last Night In Soho (AKA ‘The Great British Stabbing Bee’) – A young medium moves to London to study fashion but experiences disturbing visions from the 60s. I’m mad at myself for being so on the lookout for foreshadowing. It spoiled some of the reveals, but that’s not Edgar Wright’s fault. The director makes the Soho setting enticing and then increasingly terrifying, with flourishes that are creative but not obnoxiously so. Tomasin McKenzie’s Elouise could have just been an audience avatar, but she’s great in her own right – by turns naïve, driven and damaged.

2. Dune (AKA ‘Spice World’) – In the far future, the powerful house Atreides are sent by the Emperor to plunder the desert planet Arrakis. Dune is sort of like Game Of Thrones in space, complete with just-about-comprehensible lore and sudden twists where things go very bad very fast. And, like ‘GOT’, Dune is at its best when awing you with its staggering special effects and production design. Director Denis Villeneuve does most of the heavy lifting, creating an intoxicating sandbox for the simple yet vivid characters to play in. The third act does feel a bit like the first act of a sequel but I’m sure it’ll all balance out in part 2.

3. The Lost Daughter (AKA ‘Mamma Mia! But Sad’) – While on a solo holiday to Greece, Leda meets a young mother who reminds her of her own struggles as a parent. This could have been a slow burn, but an early reckless choice by the protagonist infuses the film with simmering tension. It’s a great character study, and director Maggie Gyllenhaal gets brilliant performances from Buckley and Colman as the quietly abrasive Leda, who’s unpredictable without seeming inconsistent. I like Gyllenhaal’s use of quick edits and closeups to deliberately disorient the viewer, as well as Dickon Hinchliffe’s score which swings from melancholy to surprisingly upbeat, ensuring things never get dull.

4. Ali & Ava (AKA ‘Disc-eo & Folk-iet) – An EDM-loving landlord and a folk-loving teaching assistant find common ground. For every film where a man and a woman bond over their love of music, I always hope it won’t muddy the waters by having them get together. Never mind. Director Clio Barnard finds magic in the drizzle and concrete of the urban North. There’s some great use of symbolism: a glance at a rocking chair or a pair of boots can tell you everything you need to know about a character. Barnard’s script deals with a lot of different issues (a few too many), and maybe should have zeroed in on the themes of mental health and the power of music.

5. Spiderman: No Way Home (AKA ‘Arachnids Assemble’) – Peter Parker meets friends and foes from other dimensions. While recent instalments have gone a bit too easy on him, ‘No Way Home’ puts Peter Parker through the wringer right from the get-go and gives him real lasting consequences at the end. His insistence on rehabilitating villains at any cost makes him easy to root for and gets to the core of why people love the character. Standout performances by Tom Holland and Willem Dafoe.

6. Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (AKA ‘The Power Of The Doc) – A sorcerer has his ex-girlfriend’s wedding interrupted by a multiversal war. This was really entertaining! The action was occasionally hard to follow and the plot, while coherent, was little more than a vehicle for increasingly bizarre set pieces. But what set pieces! I know MCU directors often feel handicapped by studio interfering but, in this case, it seemed like Sam Raimi was able to make the film his own by leaning into the goofy soft-horror he’s best known for. And the, now obligatory, fan-service cameos were wisely confined to one scene.

7. Everything Everywhere All At Once (AKA ‘Racocoonie’) – A laundry owner has her tax audit appointment interrupted by a multiversal war. Co-directors ‘Daniels’ should be applauded for their boundless creativity, though I do have notes. There’s an incredible 100 minute film in there somewhere, but many moments dragged out for way too long. EEAAO rises above other Matrix knockoffs by remembering to have fun, with plenty of ‘Rick & Morty’-style comedy to complement the competently handled emotional story. By turns surreal, hilarious, tedious, and genuinely moving. And too long.

8. The House (AKA ‘There’s A Moose Loose Aboot The Hoose!’) – Three generations of cats, mice, and humans try their best to settle into ‘the house’. I mean, I just love stop motion so maybe this had an unfair advantage. Design and direction are both on point to make ‘The House’ as beautiful as it is unsettling. Thematically though, it suffers from ‘French Dispatch syndrome’: with neither the variety of an anthology miniseries like ‘Inside Number Nine’, or the coherence of a standard 90-minute film. The first and last parts had decent messages, but I never felt like Jarvis Cocker’s mouse estate agent was getting his just deserts.

9. The Power Of The Dog (AKA ‘Doctor ‘Straight’ In The Closet Of Sadness’) – A macho cattle-rancher takes against his brother’s new wife and her aloof teenage son. I thought Jessie Plemons’ understated performance was the highlight. His tearful relief at finding an alternative to his bullying brother really struck a chord, and it’s a shame that he faded into the background later on. The actors convey a lot through physicality, like Dunst’s shaking hands as she sits at the piano, or Cumberbatch and Smit-McPhee’s gait as they respectively strut and mince around the farm. Dialogue schmialogue.

10. RRR (AKA ‘Rajamouli’s Ridiculous Romp’) – Sparks fly in 1920s India when officer A. Rama Raju meets the revolutionary Komaram Bheem. They don’t make films like this in the West any more, and I think that’s a shame. RRR is camp and earnest, always somewhere between ‘so bad it’s good’ and just genuinely good. While there were literally hundreds of moments of unintentional comedy, I couldn’t help but get swept up in the epic drama and spectacle.

11. Don’t Look Up (AKA ‘Leostorm’) – Two astronomers desperately attempt to warn the world’s governments about an approaching comet. This was a really tense watch. It felt like a modern update of ‘Dr Strangelove’, where the people with the power to avert Armageddon are too inept to do so. There’s a hefty dose of Black Mirror in there too, with humanity’s stupidity on full display. That being said, I didn’t leave feeling like we deserve annihilation, which might have been some consolation. Instead, I was angry that we put our lives in the hands of the Musks and de Pfeffel Johnsons of the world, and that’s not as cathartic.

12. Turning Red (AKA ‘Meilin, Wailin’ & Big Fluffy Tailin’) – A thirteen year old girl turns into a giant red panda. I feel like, as with the MCU, Pixar films have somewhat reached a point of competent homogeneity. I could copy and paste most of this from my last two Pixar reviews: the animation’s beautiful; good insights are made about the human condition; the message is hindered by over-specific lore. And that’s fine, I guess.

13. Pig (AKA ‘They Took My Peeerg’) – A former expert chef turned lonely truffle hunter searches for his stolen truffle pig. I felt like there could have been something profound going on in 'Pig'. The juxtaposition of a dirty, bleeding man sat in a fancy restaurant probably signifies… something. But there were just too many off-putting elements, like the random fight club scene, for me to grasp what it was all about. Cage does your standard 'Sadman McDeadwife' performance, but I much preferred Alex Wolff's nervous yuppie. The scene of him trying to psych himself up in the mirror only to be cut off by the editor was the highlight of the film.

14. Shang Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings (AKA ‘The Lord Of The Rings’) – A former assassin reunites with his family and returns to China to confront the man who trained him. Though I didn’t care for the mystical mumbo jumbo or tai chi air-bending, I was pleasantly surprised by ‘SCATLOTTR’. The story wasn’t that compelling but Marvel did a good job with the design of the film’s world, costumes and CGI creatures. Awkwafina was a delight, the martial arts were great and, unlike ‘Black Widow’, sincere moments weren’t undercut by jokes.

15. Black Widow (AKA ‘The Marvel Cinematic Pugh-niverse’) – A former assassin reunites with her family and returns to Russia to confront the man who trained her. Well, I came for Pugh, and I definitely got some quality Pugh. Also a few really exciting action scenes and creative flourishes, courtesy of director Cate Shortland. However, even at 135 mins, it feels rushed. Ray Winstone’s short changed and, though Harbour & Weisz get plenty of screen time, it’s all setup for character arcs that don’t pay off. Meanwhile Johansson’s Natasha treads water between Avengers films. But like I said, Pugh!

16. The Batman (AKA ‘Twi-knight’) – Batman uncovers corruption in Gotham City while facing a serial killer known as the Riddler. Director Matt Reeves draws on the serial killer films of David Fincher, emulating their tone but unfortunately also their three-hour runtimes. I’m afraid I found The Batman to be heavy on plot and light on theme, leaving me with little idea of what it was ‘all about’. Paul Dano’s a brilliant actor but he’s only really given one scene and, sadly, I think he botched it. Still, I enjoyed the action, the cinematography and Michael Giacchino’s already iconic score.

17. Eternals (AKA ‘Zhou-er Rangers’) – A team of immortal heroes reunites to protect Earth from the predatory Deviants. Better than I expected. The dialogue was godawful, I cringed every time they stood in a line, and the characterisation, while present, is spread veeeeery thin. But, to its credit, Eternals raises some interesting issues about when and when not to challenge the status quo. And for a franchise often accused of visual homogeny, Chloe Zhou did bring a distinctive style that I, if not loved, at least liked. And the jungle fight was cool.

18. Kate (AKA ‘I’ve Been Poisoned By The Japanese… I Really Think So!”) – After she’s fatally poisoned, a ruthless criminal operative has less than 24 hours to exact revenge. Honestly, I doubt I’ll remember ‘Kate’. It’s a pretty by the numbers Netflix film with a very predictable plot. That being said, there were a few moments of action that were so fantastically violent I sat up, went “Oh!” and rewound to watch them again, and that’s definitely worth something.

19. The Green Knight (AKA ‘It Was A Joke, Gawain. It Was A Christmas Joke’) – The young Gawain seals his own fate when he rashly beheads the fabled Green Knight. I liked the music, design, and some of the performances, but otherwise TGK is waaaay too arty farty for its own good. The overuse of montage and slow motion made David Lowry look like a hipster Zach Snyder. You could maybe enjoy it on the level of a music video, but one that's two hours and ten minutes long.

20. Ennio (AKA ‘The Good, The Bad & The Long) – A documentary celebrating the life and work of Italian film composer Ennio Morricone. Honestly, I love Morricone but after two and a half hours I was sick of the old codger. Insights are made into the great man’s process but they’re drops in an ocean of runtime. I wish, instead of trying to cover every film Morricone ever composed, director Giuseppe Tornatore had just picked a few ‘greatest hits’. Or at least devoted more than 60 seconds to the scoring his own ‘Cinema Paradiso’.

21. The French Dispatch (AKA ‘Les Newsies’) – A French-American newspaper publishes three stories concerning an artist sentenced to life imprisonment, student riots, and a kidnapping resolved by a chef. Anderson delivers all his usual Anderson-isms and doesn’t demand the audience invest too much in these stories… perhaps he should have. Structurally, making an anthology film of three forty-minute segments is an unfortunate choice, as I think it’s long enough to bore you but not long enough to tell a satisfying story. Also, the random use of black & white hurt my eyes.

22. The Worst Person In The World (AKA ‘Nor-way Home’) – I’m sorry, so little happens in this film that I’m not sure that I can summarise it. My favourite part was finding out, to my relief, that my wife didn’t like it either. Perhaps I shouldn’t have had a couple of drinks before watching something where I’d have to read both subtitles and actors’ facial expressions. Either way, I mentally checked out after the first hour. TWPITW uses a prologue to establish Julie’s personality before instantly contradicting it, introduces numerous disparate plot elements that didn’t go anywhere (drugs, families, offensive cartoons) and has basically nothing happen for two hours.

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ask-me-any-think · 2 years

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What is the action?

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matssonsblood · 1 year

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anyway i just realized that one of the big reasons i disliked spiderman: no way home is because of aunt may’s death. let me explain.

her death was one of those big corporate female deaths that have no purpose and are only put in the movie so the male protagonist can have something to drive him. it was abrupt, stupid, and came out of nowhere. we can admit that the new spiderman trilogy did something different, getting rid of uncle ben, making aunt may younger, making most of peter’s movies center around the avengers and shit like that, which isn’t necessarily bad. the first two movies came out, there was no famous line from the comics and the toby maguire movies, and i was completely fine with that. there was no uncle ben, there was no origin story really, and the andrew garfield movies didn’t use the line either so it was chill. and then the third movie. the big zinger. i partially enjoyed it, partially cringed at some of the writing choices. and then came this scene, aunt may’s death scene.

a useless, annoying thing that didn’t make any sense. in my opinion, which i understand is just an opinion, you shouldn’t just kill characters off because it’s “realistic” or because it’s “the best idea”. first, there should be a vision behind it (which there clearly was none for hers beside ‘reuse this iconic line and make peter sad’). the death should ultimately have a purpose, which there really was none here. her death didn’t even really affect anything, because either way if she lived she would have forgotten peter anyway. they clearly knew that her death wasn’t worth anything, except for some cheap line. and listen, it’s an incredible line. the toby maguire moves developed it really well, and i also liked how they didn’t make it his last words, because who’s going to really think of something that cool to say while they’re dying? but the other movies (the andrew garfield movies, into the spiderverse, the first two tom holland movies) all managed to develop and have a coherent plot and some great storytelling without that line, which i applaud.

before i continue, let me just explain what this line really means in the spiderman universe. peter, with having gained this incredible power, hasn’t really used it to help anyone, mostly for his own personal gain. and then, because of him not doing anything out of spite, letting a criminal free eventually leads to the criminal killing his uncle ben. and i cant say i’m too in touch with the comics, but after his uncle dies peter is forced to think back to this line, think about what it means for him. “With great power, comes great responsibility.” He hasn’t used his powers for anything really except for himself, he hasn’t used them responsibly. so this is the big stepping stone for him from gaining his powers to becoming spiderman. it changes everything, and really is what truly made his story. without that line, he wouldn’t have become spiderman. the andrew garfield movies didn’t use this line, and yet they still portrayed how uncle ben’s death changed him, going from him trying to go after his uncle’s killer, to realizing that this does nothing and deciding to help the people of his city. even the tom holland movies, as obsessed with the avengers and tony stark as they are, managed to still create some impeccable storytelling without this line. although, that does mostly stem from the direction they went, where they didn’t really have an origin story for peter and his powers and becoming spiderman, but for his own personal life and how that gets in the way of him trying to do good.

and here is the ultimate problem. this line resembles something incredibly important, and it’s not the fact that it’s said by aunt may instead, it’s not even the fact that it was said on her dying breath. it’s the fact that line is just a cash-grabber for hollywood and marvel. and aunt may’s death was something that the writers were like “hah! this will solve everything. we’ve done it guys, we’ve done it.” i would even be fine with her death if it was actually meaningful, like they’re meant to be in fictional works. but aunt may’s death doesn’t affect anything, and the line is just a cheap nostalgia grab to trick us into thinking that they made a genius writing decision here. that line resembled peter parker deciding to use his powers for good, to become spiderman. what does it resemble in no way home? what? nothing. you could argue that it’s aunt may saying that peter needs to always use his powers responsibly, but she already knows that he does. otherwise, she would have said this line like two movies ago.

that’s all i really have to say about this scene. it was something that never sat right with me until i thought about it some more. hollywood really does make bank off our nostalgia.

#spiderman #spider man no way home #peter parker #aunt may #no way home #marvel #no way home review #movie study #i literally don’t read the comics so sorry if i got anything wrong #spoilers for no way home

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d10nsaint · 10 months

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ELLA Y YO—Miguel O’hara

Request Here. So uhm Me x Miguel CANON UGHHH. Someone said that Miguel listens to Romeo Santos and now i cant get the idea out of my head. Title trans:She and I, song by Aventura & Don Omar. and before you start asking if ik what the songs about YES I DO.

In the arachno-humanoid-poly- multiverse (Miguel refused to refer to it as the ‘spiderverse’) There are thick sets of rules for spider-men and spider women. The Peter Parkers, The Gwen Stacy’s, The Jessica Drews, and the singular Miles Morales. Although they may have some differences, they all have similar lives—well, with a few outliers, and one of them being you.

You were so different from all the other spider-people. In your story, and in your personal life—you were a breath of fresh air, which is partially why Jess and Lyla convinced him to have you join the Spider Society when it first started.

Miguel saw you as someone who’s more…mature. Someone who knows struggles and can take life seriously. He could trust you to not make a joke of everything because you’re so down to earth.

After he notices why Lyla and Jess thought you’d be a good addition, he realizes that you arent stupid like everyone else—and understand the gravity of his job.

He knows you have a child, and assumes you have a husband or a sitter because (unlike peter b) you keep your child at home. He doesn’t really care either way— He might even be glad, in fact, because he really doesnt like to look at kids.

He finds himself spending more time with you, going over meeting procedures or reviewing the teams for dispatch. He knows you’re reliable, and soon enough he’s sharing all of his work with you.

Everyone around the both of you can see how close the two of you are—with the similarities in your personalities canceling out and making the both of you open up to eachother enough to become…friends. Something that Miguel hasn’t had since be met Xina at the Academy.

When he realizes how close the both of you are (literally and metaphorically) He cant help but facepalm. He’s treating you like how he treated Dana. And as soon as he realizes that, he realizes that—oh shit!—he has feelings for you! And maybe, this time he wont fuck it up by being spiderman.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara fluff #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x reader #miguel x you #miguel spiderverse #atsv miguel #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel ohara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel spiderman

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pyroclastic727 · 5 months

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The Marvels is being scathed by critics, and that's a good thing.

I finally saw The Marvels today. I'm a bit late to the party, so all I saw about the movie was the teaser at the end of Ms Marvel, and way too many critical reviews of it.

Now, obviously on Tumblr you find the good reviews, like, the cats outnumbering the white men and how Kamala Khan is, like, basically all of us. But in person, I've had someone tell me that it's bad because Rotten Tomatoes rates it 43%, which-- besides wondering why anyone would listen to Rotten Tomatoes, I'd have to wonder why the website would give it such a low rating. The easy answer is that the Tomatoes review committee is populated by white men, who, upon having no one to relate to, react badly to the movie. But I think there's more to it.

The Marvels is a revolution. Through its character-driven writing and brazen exploration of morality, it rewrites the superhero formula completely, by questioning what exactly it means to be a superhero.

The Marvels was directed by Nia DaCosta, an award-winning Harlem native and creative visionary whose approach to this film was to define these characters as humans, not as superheroes. Her approach to heroism directly addresses that the idea that a hero is not always right. A hero, DaCosta claims, is "someone who's trying their best with the information and tools they have at the time. They'll always get it wrong." Carol Danvers's arc directly addresses this, as the resolution of her subplot involves her re-igniting the sun that she snuffed out. Her heroic act is to undo the damage that she wrought.

When compared to old Marvel, this message just doesn't come through. In WandaVision, Wanda's grief is for a family that was killed by the Avengers. Yet, she is painted as a villain, even as she searches for a happy home, even as she at one point joins the Avengers. The Avengers cannot undo what they did, and don't really try. They defeat the big bad, sacrifice their lives, but nothing brings back Wanda's family. Nothing undoes that war. No one searches for Wanda after the event, to try to help her with her grief, except for Monica, and she's working against orders. Their heroics are militant, but while they excel at destruction, they leave the people they hurt in the dust.

This antiheroic plot of old Marvel is precisely what appealed to so many American audiences. Their protagonists are: a rich corporation, a super-soldier, a privileged teenager, a scientist who makes weapons, an ex-convict, a man born into godlike power, and I'm sure there are others but I don't actually care that much... (these would be iron man, captain america, peter parker spiderman, hulk, antman, thor, and etc). All these archetypes appeal to American ideals that the wealthy would sympathize with. They claim that there are people who are inherently bad and seek the power that they have, in the way that a poor person might want a job that a wealthy person wants their child to secure. They claim that it is their business to save those which cannot save themselves, and use this to get involved in wars that are not theirs, and beat up badguys whose backstory they have no way of knowing-- and they punch before they stop and listen.

They are cops in every sense of the word. The responsibility of the vigilante is to defend against evil, but part of that responsibility is to figure out who exactly is evil and who is in need of help.

The Marvels creates a team that tries to distinguish evil from good, and delves into the grey area between them. The final battle between Carol Danvers and Dar-benn has the superhero pinning the grey-haired antagonist to the ground as she begs for, then demands, that Carol fix what she damaged. Monica urges her to listen. Through this, The Marvels argues that a hero does not always beat up the bad guy and fight against unrelenting evil, but that a hero can be wrong, and that a hero can reconsider. It's kindness in the way that is revolutionary, where it's much easier to choose cruelty.

The fact that the movie is getting torn apart by critics, then, is not just because it is a "girls movie" or it doesn't have a strong white man for the white male viewer to sympathize with. The Marvels cannot appeal to Marvel fans because it rewrites the genre itself. It takes a film series whose purpose was to depict the struggles of cops, of the wealthy, of people with too much power who are trying to learn how to responsibly wield it, but don't. And it gives that power to people who have watched superheroes try and fail, who are slowly learning to be better heroes than the ones before them.

The next generation is a critique of the last, a group trying not to make the mistakes of the chosen ones that came before them, and as such, the movie exists to critique the movies that came before it. Therefore, a viewer of Marvel who would positively review it, due to sympathizing with the previous heroes and enjoying the power fantasy, would dislike it out of its existence being critical and contradictory to the films they like themselves.

The Marvels is not for Marvel fans-- at least, not those who saw the Avengers as purely heroes. Instead, the film reaches out to people who would have been against the old Avengers, who want a story that dismantles the unquestioned idealism of superheroes and writes about people trying to protect their communities and the people they care about.

So, let the critics complain. The MCU is shedding its roots as a pro-cop and pro-colonialism power fantasy, and evolving into an exploration of what it means to be a true hero.

#the marvels #ms marvel #captain marvel #photon #kamala khan #monica rambeau #carol danvers #.pyro #pyro.txt #the marvels analysis #can you tell that i loved this movie #it's been so long since i've done an analysis but this one SPOKE to me #anyways i'm coming from the perspective of a marvel hater until i watched ms marvel #honestly i just put the images in there to break it up. they are not very relevant. i didn't pirate so i don't have good screenshots

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in1-nutshell · 2 months

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Hello! I am SOO sorry that I have been cramping you with asks, so feel as free as you can be to push this one alll the way back, or deny it, I am not desperate at all. I just want to type this before I forget this. So after the Megatron with a daughter who was his opposite post, I, too, am in love with this opposite personality daughter series. Like just all of our favourite men as fathers of daughters with individual personalities of themselves but also more or less all resonated their fathers one way or another, or someone they knew! I LOVE IT! And I realized how this formed a perfect trilogy now.

So I am real curious. What if the three daughters exist in the same universe? And, may or may not interact? (would we need individual names for them all? Or Buddy 1 and 2 and 3 like Spider-Man: No Way Home and no one questions it?)

Hello!

I've actually been thinking about continuing the 'daughter with different personality' thing. Maybe in the future you'll see more!

Originally the plan was to have all the Buddy's to be in the same universe, but I ended up scrapping the idea and decided to create separate universes for each one (unless the plot tells me otherwise :))

When I saw the Spiderman part my mind went to this.

(Who knows for the future)

Hope you enjoy!

Optimus Prime, Ratchet, and Megatron's daughters meeting each other for the first time.

SFW, Platonic, Familial, groundbridge and relic shenanigans, Cybertronain reader

TFP

In TFP Rats universe.

Buddy was just minding her own business cleaning and wiping down her father’s tools.

It’s a nice day on base.

There was low Decepticon activity for the past few days, the children were playing their games, Bulkhead and Smokescreen were trying to get Bumblebee and Arcee to play Lob with them, Ultra Magnus and Optimus were reviewing plans for something, and her father, Ratchet, was with Wheeljack looking at a new relic they found in the Artic.

“It’s not another scraplet trap, right?”--Raf

“Nope! Completely checked it with the scanner. We should be good now.”--Buddy

“We ‘should’ be good?”--Bulkhead

“There is always a percentage of things blowing up, I’m not counting that out.”--Buddy

Without warning, the relic whirled to life jumping and shaking onto the floor.

Everyone jumped and backed away from the whirling sound it made. Bright light came out of it as the shaking intensified. The noise was loud enough to get everyone to come to the main room.

The machine scanned the closest bot, Buddy, and opened a portal, shooting out tons of air.

The children nearly flew back, but thanks to Ultra Magnus and Optimus, they were caught before they flew off the ledge.

“Hey Ratchet! What’s it doing?!”--Bulkhead

“Oh, it’s putting on a rock concert. OBVIOUSLY, I DON’T KNOW!”--Ratchet

Machine whirls louder.

“Buddy! Hide behind the med slab!”--Wheeljack

Buddy already behind the slab, clutching onto dear life.

“With all due respect, WHAT DO YOU THINK I’M DOING?!”--Buddy

Meanwhile in megs dimension

Buddy calmly walking down the halls of the Nemesis with some data pads.

“Hmm… wonder why they need so many data pads…”--Buddy

Sudden portal pops up on the wall next to them.

“What in the—”--Buddy

Portal starts sucking her in.

“AHHH—”--Buddy

Portal sucks Buddy in leaving the discarded data pads sprawled in the middle of the hallway.

In op dimension

Buddy is resting her arm on the handrail while talking with Miko.

“How’s the playlist going?”--Miko

“Haven’t been working too much on it. Patrol has been up my tailpipe lately. Do you have any more recommendations?”--Buddy

“Yeah! How about—”—Miko

A sudden portal opens.

“Umm, I don’t remember Ratchet opening up a groundbridge.”--Miko

Buddy grabbing a grenade from her subspace.

“That’s because he hasn’t!”--Buddy

Buddy chucks a grenade at the portal.

BAM!

Nothing happens to the portal.

“What!”—Miko and Buddy

The portal starts sucking them in.

Buddy grabs Miko as she starts to get dragged in, pounds a hole in the ledge and places her in there.

“Buddy? Buddy what are you—”--Miko

Buddy groans as she tries to keep her footing but gets sucked in and the portal closes.

“BUDDY!”--Miko

In Rats dimension

Two figures pop out of the portal and slam into Ratchet’s daughter.

The portal closes.

The two figures groaned.

Op Buddy sits up rubbing her helm.

Meg Buddy sliding off the med slab and onto the floor on her back.

“Urgh… my aching helm…”—Megs Buddy

Rat Buddy gently massaging her helm before looking at the two strangers.

“Who are you?”—Rat Buddy

Op Buddy looks at the others.

“Who are you?!”—Op Buddy

Meg Buddy looking at all the Autobots in the area.

“WHERE AM I?!”—Meg Buddy

Optimus carefully approaches the younglings.

Megs Buddy quickly moves back while the other two just stare widely.

“Buddy—”--Optimus

“Yes?”—All Buddy’s

All Buddy’s turn around and point at each other.

“Your name is Buddy! I’m Buddy!”—All Buddy’s

Meg Buddy standing up pacing a bit.

“Maybe this is some alternate universe…I always thought something like this was possible from what he said… It’s the only logical explanation for this…”—Megs Buddy

“That seems to check out. Which explains why Dad hasn’t started giving me the ‘speech’ again.”—Op Buddy

“Dad?”--Kids

“… Oh, this is going to be fun.”—Op Buddy

“This is not going to be fun…”—Meg Buddy

Everyone is confused.

Come to find the relic would scan someone and find ‘alternatives’ of them. It could mean alternative of the bot or by their names.

To avoid confusion the Buddy’s are labeled.

Op’s Buddy would be known as Buddy 1.

Rats Buddy would be known as Buddy 2.

Megs Buddy would be known as Buddy 3.

“How come she’s Buddy 1? Why not our Buddy? She was hear before you guys showed up.”--Miko

“Cause I’m older and cooler.”—Buddy 1

“Yeah right.”--Miko

“Don’t believe me Miko? Watch this.”—Buddy 1

Buddy 1 transforms into a monster truck.

“I take it back! That’s so cool! Can I ride you!?”--Miko

“Of course!”—Buddy 1

“Miko no!”--Bulkhead

“Miko yes!”--Miko

“Then why is our Buddy number two?”--Raf

“Because I’m the second oldest. Three is the youngest one here.”—Buddy 2

“Guess it makes sense. You she is kind a smaller than you two.”--Jack

“Hey! I’m a minicon! Of course, I’m smaller than everyone here!”—Buddy 3

“You’re a minicon?”--Arcee

Buddy 3 shrinks back a bit at Arcee’s gaze nodding.

Buddy 1 made the Team guess who her father was, bets were on the table and ready to be thrown. Buddy 1 managed to get Buddy 3 to get in on the guessing part. Buddy 3 guaranteed that no one would guess her creator.

A part of her didn’t want them to know either.

“All right we are ready.”--Miko

“Wow so soon?”—Buddy 3

“Too soon if you asked me.”—Buddy 1

“We’ve narrowed down three bots for each. If we win, 1 needs to take me out dune bashing in her alt mode.”--Miko

“Miko!”--Bulkhead

“I can stand by that.”—Buddy 1

“And if you don’t guess right?”—Buddy 2

“You’ll have to tell us.”--Miko

“…”—Buddy 3

“Lets get started!”--Miko

“Okay these ones are for Buddy 1.”--Smokescreen

“Got it, lets hear them.”—Buddy 1

“First one… Wheeljack!”--Miko

Buddy 1 laughing at the response.

“HAHAHAHA, Sorry, its just, just that Jackie here is more like my Uncle. Definitely not my dad.”—Buddy 1

“All righty then… Bulkhead!”--Miko

Buddy starts laughing at that one too.

“Nope! Bulks also like my Uncle!”—Buddy 1

“The last one… Smokescreen!”—Miko

Buddy is now on the floor laughing her tanks and near crying.

“…I’ll take that as a no then…”--Raf

Buddy finally stops laughing.

“You lose.”—Buddy 1

“Got that. Now spill it! Who’s your Dad?!”--Miko

Buddy stands up rather stoically.

“One shall stand, one shall fall.”—Buddy 1

Everyone stares at Optimus, who looks equally as surprised.

“Your—your Boss Bots kid!? How!?”--Miko

“A question everyone has been asking since we met.”—Buddy 1

Miko turns to Buddy 3.

She hoped that they would have forgotten her, but alas here she was.

“Your turn!”--Miko

Buddy 3 nervously sits next to Prime and Ratchet

“First one… Arcee!”--Miko

Buddy 3 looking terrified.

“NO! I mean no.”--Buddy 3

“How about… Ultra Magnus!”--Miko

Buddy shakes her helm while looking at Magnus.

“Sorry try again.”—Buddy 3

“Okay… Optimus!”--Miko

Buddy 1 looks at Buddy 3.

“Are we siblings!?”—Buddy 1

“I mean aren’t we all in a way?”—Buddy 3

“Buddy.”--Ratchet

“Sorry, the answer is no.”—Buddy 3

“Dang it!”--Miko

“Then who is your Dad?”--Raf

“…Megatron…”—Buddy 3

“…”—Everyone

“HOW!”--Jack

Buddy shrinks back at the sudden movements.

Buddy 1 and Buddy 2 immediately stand by Buddy 3

“Hold it now. Just because 3 dad is Bucket head, no offense.”—Buddy 1

“None taken.”—Buddy 3

“Doesn’t mean she’s bad. Right?”—Buddy 2

“No, no I’m not.”—Buddy 3

“Really and how can you prove it?”--Arcee

“Arcee—”—Buddy 2

“Well think about this. If I was truly bad, why haven’t I hurt you.”—Buddy 3

“Because your short?”--Smokescreen

“… Okay that one’s asking for it… but beside the point, I could have easily hurt the kids, yet I haven’t. I could have attacked or given any other hint that I had malicious intentions. But I haven’t, have I?”—Buddy 3

Pause

“I stand by 3.”—Buddy 1

“And I stand with 1 and 3.”—Buddy 2

“I will stand by her as well.”--Optimus

“Prime!”—Most of the team

“Prime?”—Buddy 3

“She is our guest and so is 1. We must treat them with the respect they deserve.”--Optimus

“…Thank you Prime.”—Buddy 3

After the confrontation a little more research is done on the machine.

Thanks to Buddy 3’s expert decoding skills, she was able to read the full effects of the machine as well as how to reverse it.

The good news was that the effects were reversable.

The bad news was that the machine needed time to recuperate before usage again.

The Buddy’s decided to kill time by hanging out with each other and the team in the meantime.

Aka shenanigan time.

1 tries to start a conversation with her alternate family especially with Prime.

She is curious to see if there are any differences between her father and her alternative father.

“You always did have a thing for the Halls, didn’t you?”—Buddy 1

“The Halls of Iacon was where I worked.”--Optimus

“You mean, where Orion worked.”—Buddy 1

“…Yes.”--Optimus

“Sorry, but I see Orion and Optimus as two separate bots sometimes.”—Buddy 1

“It is understandable.”--Optimus

3 tended to stay with 2 for the most part.

2 was a soft soul and was quiet for the most part.

2 did entertain 3 with the occasional story here and there.

Buddy 2 and 3 talking to each other near the med bay.

“What do you think they’re talking about?”--Smokescreen

“Beep boop bep bop boop. (Probably about medical stuff.)”--Bumblebee

“Yeah, probably.”--Smokescreen

“So, then Arcee raised her blasters at the wannabe Cybertronians and started blasting.”—Buddy 2

Buddy 3 listening intently.

1 likes to place 2 and 3 on her shoulders.

1 being the tallest and bulkiest of the Buddy’s could support the weight, not that they did weigh anything to her.

The other two Buddy’s liked feeling tall.

“Hey! Hey! Look at this!”—Buddy 1

Buddy 1 supporting Buddy 2 on her shoulders while Buddy 3 was on top.

“We are Buddy Supreme!”—Buddy 2

Buddy 1 has a bright smile on her face.

Buddy 2 has a wobbly smile trying not to laugh while carrying 3.

Buddy 3 is just staring in amazement.

“So, this is what it’s like to be tall… this is nice.”—Buddy 3

Soon it was time for them to leave.

3 really doesn’t want to leave her new friends behind.

She certainly doesn’t want to go back to the dark halls of the Nemesis.

But this pleasant experience was soon to be the spark to ignite the flame for peace between the two fractions again.

She was going to do everything she could to end this war with peace.

Whether Megatron liked it or not.

“It was lovely seeing you all and knowing there are alternative versions of myself out there. I hope we meet again on much pleasanter terms in the future.”—Buddy 3

“Same goes to you 3!”—Buddy 1 and 2

Buddy 3 walks through the portal.

A flash of purple shines before returning to its natural color.

“It’s your turn kid—”--Wheeljack

“SEE YA!”—Buddy 1

Buddy 1 back flips into the portal before a flash of blue shines.

The portal turns off and all is still.

“…Well, wasn’t that an eventful Wednesday afternoon?”—Buddy

In megs universe

Buddy bounces off the wall of the Nemesis.

Literally.

“For once I’d wish for a smooth landing…”--Buddy

“Buddy.”--Soundwave

Buddy looks up to see Soundwave.

Buddy waves.

“Hey Soundwave.”--Buddy

Soundwave starts walking forward.

“Sorry about the data pads—”--Buddy

Soundwave is in front of Buddy.

“I swear I meant to go straight to the room when—”--Buddy

Soundwave gets down on his knees and pulls Buddy in a tight hug.

Buddy freezes for a moment before hugging back.

None say anything, just holding onto each other in one of the empty halls of the Nemesis.

In op universe

Buddy gets thrown at Bumblebee and Smokescreen.

“OW!”--Buddy

“BEEP! (BUDDY!)”--Bumblebee

“BUDDY!”--Smokescreen

Both bots hugging Buddy’s sides tightly.

“We heard from Miko that you go sucked into some groundbridge or something!”--Smokescreen

Buddy patting both bots helms.

Bumblebee digs his helm further in Buddy’s neck cables whirling in concern and relief.

“Boy, do I have a story to tell you guys. But let’s wait till everyone gets here, I can’t wait to see Doc bot’s reaction to his daughter.”--Buddy

“HIS WHAT!?”—Smokescreen and Bumblebee

“MY WHAT!”--Ratchet

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp #tfp x reader #tfp x platonic reader #tfp optimus prime #tfp ratchet #tfp megatron #bot buddy crossover

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sinclairstarz · 2 months

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for the cinephile byler truthers. i made the party’s modern au letterboxd accounts

in my head mike wheeler is the film bro cinephile of the party. hes a big brad pitt fan and fincher is his favorite director if you even care.. dirty dancing would be in his top 4 if he was honest. he went to see dune cause hes a scifi nerd, ended up hating it so much and complained about it to will but still gave it 2 stars cause it was pretty. did leave a very mean review. very critical rater but mostly leaves high ratings because he just doesn’t watch things he doesnt wanna see.

alternative movies i considered putting: pulp fiction (5 stars), the killer (1 star), se7en (5 stars), across the spiderverse (5 stars), nope (5 stars) , the batman 2022 (4 stars), once upon a time in hollywood (5 stars), inglorious basterds (5 stars), the matrix (half a star)

the thing is so good and he has a poster of it on his wall in canon so it felt right. it just feels wrong not to do ghostbusters (plus its one of my favorite movies…) and yall need to hear me out on brokeback 😭😭😭 ur telling me he wouldnt bawl his eyes out??? ur wrong. will byers is a jake gyllenhaal lover. he watches dirty dancing a lot for mike, and loves ghibli movies a lot. he cried during rain man. honest rater but doesnt take it too seriously, mostly 4/5 star ratings

alternatives: saltburn (half a star), asteroid city (5 stars), blackkklansman (5 stars), the force awakens (3.5 stars), the perks of being a wallflower (4.5 stars), back to the future (5 stars)

rogue one because lucas has taste. its the best star wars movie, if u care. he would love how fun and goofy ghostbusters 2 is. in my head Wes Anderson is like the party’s claimed director and they all watch his movies together and do marathons because the weirdness, comedy, and emotional commentary is a perfect mix for them. so. bottle rocket. lucas’ favorite wes anderson is the grand budapest hotel if u wanted to know. he rates things pretty highly and isn’t super critical.

alternatives: dodgeball (5 stars), scream 5 (4 stars), the matrix (3 stars), good will hunting (5 stars), jurassic park (5 stars), die hard (5 stars),

likes making lucas watch gone girl on valentines day and telling him shes gonna do that to him next time he annoys her. v for vendetta is her favorite romance movie and shes a big marvel fan (in a cool way. kind of .) but thor ragnarok is probably one of her fav marvels, along with spiderman far from home and iron man. i just know she watches Casino Royale and decided she hated James Bond and then ended up watching all the Daniel Craig Bonds with Mike and loved Skyfall so much. the song is on her playlist and she did cry after No Time To Die.

Alternatives: Superbad (5 stars), baby driver (5 stars), bottoms (5 stars), 10 things i hate about you (3.5 stars), scream (5 stars), kill bill (5 stars), lord of the rings: the return of the king (1.5 stars)

also a bit of a film nerd. i considered giving him a star wars and i know in my heart he’d probably have empire somewhere in his top 4. but star wars is lame and i wanted to give him se7en so he fucking gets se7en. he knows john wick is objectively dumb but he doesnt care hes just here for a good time. the party probably watched saltburn together and all fucking hated it. I just know hes a kurosawa nerd and always goes when the local theatres do very rare special showings of his movies.

alternatives: baby driver (4 stars), the ewok adventure (5 stars) hot fuzz (5 stars) harry potter and the sorcerers stone (4 stars) legally blonde (5 stars) spirited away (5 stars) dazed and confused (5 stars)

she likes movies that make her feel all warm and fuzzy and hopeful. i wanted to give her breakfast club, but i think she’d honestly like sixteen candles more (even though breakfast club’s better). she cried at almost every movie in her top 4 and makes max rewatch juno with her like once a month. she gives most movies 5 stars unless she really hates them, and loves any movie thats fun to watch, even if its bad. she likes movies with pretty girls and fun colors.

alternatives: barbie (5 stars), legally blonde (5 stars), inception (2 stars), heathers (5 stars) pretty in pink (4.5 stars (she was mad andi didn’t end up with ducky)) my neighbor totoro (5 stars)

in conclusion if you haven’t seen They Cloned Tyron (2023) go watch it it deserved the oscar

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gartenofbanny · 11 months

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Western Energy is a waste of energy

So it's time for the review of Western Energy, the new episode came out a couple days ago and I watched it multiple times to come up with a conclusion and I concluded that as always this episode was a mess, but not as much of a mess as the previous three. It's like the best episode released thus far, but it's just not good either, and saying this episode is the best one in season 2 is like saying Spiderman: No Way Home is the best movie in Phase 4. All the other ones are bad and the decent-ish one is the best one overall. So that's not saying much. So without further adieu let's discuss about the stuff I liked about the episode.

What I liked

The Runtime

The Runtime of this episode is the shortest one of Season 2 thus far and with how Season 2 is like, I was happy because I wouldn't have to sit through 20 to 25 minutes of unnecessary bullshit. But despite this runtime, a lot happens despite the simple premise, it's overwhelming, to say the least.

Millie & Moxxie vs Striker

Moxxie & Millie vs Striker is one of the best fights in the series without a doubt. It's in my opinion tied with the Millie vs Crimson's Goons fight, but this fight is an actual fight because both parties got damaged. I really love Moxxie and Millie tag teaming against Striker, it reminds me of Jujutsu Kaisen a Japanese Manga which is most famously known for its fights consisting of 2v1s or just protagonists jumping one antagonist.

Though there is a problem with this fight and it's as always the inconsistency with power on all sides. Striker was really nowhere near this strong or fast before considering that Striker could barely keep up with Blitzo's blows in Harvest Moon.

Millie should probably be the one dominating the fight considering that she was able to take down a bunch of shark goons in a matter of minutes with little damage and Moxxie had gotten a large boost physical capabilities as he's able to avoid gunshots, was able to damage Striker and throw him around, and take a boulder swing by Striker.

And all of a sudden, Striker is essentially Spider-Man, has the speed to dodge or deflect Millie and Moxxie's attacks simultaneously, and has the strength to pull out rocks with just a rope. Taking all of this into consideration, Blitzo is just as capable of doing all that too since Blitzo literally overpowered Striker in Harvest Moon. And speaking of Striker.

Striker...sorta

We got to have more depth into Striker compared to Harvest Moon as Striker actually opens up a little with Stolas. He says to Stolas "Some of us have hard lives to live. And some of us have everything we care about taken away by fuckers like you." Striker does not like Demonic Royalty at all and we get some insight as to why. He lost a lot throughout his life and that loss soon made him become angry and bitter against Demonic Royalty, more specifically Goetias.

But..unfortunately, Striker is still following the orders of a Goetia in Stella and Stolas points this out too, but all it really does is just get under Striker's skin. Despite hating Royalty, he still decides to follow Stella's orders but chooses to leave Stolas without his eyes. They had the option to change that as when Stella called Striker telling him that she wanted him alive, Striker should've just disobeyed Stella and chose to kill Stolas anyway regardless of the money. But he doesn't, he follows Stella's orders. This is a bit weak because not only does this remove tension, but it also just makes Striker a glorified goon for Stella.

The writers also decided to make Striker more pompous in this episode, but at the same time more sensitive to dirty humor and insults. Like Striker has a literal statue of himself with something sticking out of his legs, but for some reason, he gets disgusted whenever the demon he's about to kill says something dirty. Make it make sense writers.

Also, Striker wasn't this sensitive to dirty jokes in Harvest Moon because Blitzo literally says "That's kinda hot." And Striker just doesn't even care because why should he?

When Moxxie insults Striker even calling him "Partner" in a southern accent, Striker gets angry yeah, but he retaliates with his own insult. What happened to that Striker in this episode?

I've noticed that Edward Bosco now voices Striker and while I do believe he did a decent job, I'm more used to Norman Reedus voicing Striker because he's the sole voice of Striker we've had for like two years. But it just takes some getting used to in my opinion, despite the fact we literally don't know if Striker will even appear in Season 2. So it'll probably take another two years for Striker to make an appearance in Helluva Boss again.

I'm honestly a little disappointed with what the writers did with Striker in this episode because they could've really done so much with him, but nah they had to change his character cause Stolas would've most likely died if they didn't. All and all, Striker was really the most entertaining character in this episode though.

So with all that out of the way, let's move on to the stuff I didn't like about this episode. And trust me there's a LOT.

What I didn't like

Stella & Andrealphus

So starting off with Stella, she was honestly really insufferable in this episode, and not for a good reason. They somehow made Stella MUCH worse in this episode compared to The Circus.

As always, Stella's entire personality is just hating on Stolas for some reason. It's to the point where she literally can't think for herself or her family as her older brother, Andrealphus develops a plan that requires Stolas to be alive. For some reason, Stella never came up with a plan at all that can benefit her more despite being arranged to Stolas and living with him most of her life. All Stella cares about is Stolas being dead, she has no reason other than she's a spoiled brat.

Stella is also extremely childish and doesn't ever talk normally and has to scream with every word she says. She folds her arms once Andrealphus tells Stella that Stolas needs to be alive like a fucking toddler and literally pouts. This woman is completely ruined and doesn't have a character aside from hating on Stolas because we STILL don't know what her relationship is like with Octavia.

Also writers, how are you gonna make Stella pay someone to torture another when she's not even there to watch the torture? I'm pretty sure she of all people would enjoy it.

I don't hate Andrealphus as much as I hate Stella in this episode, but what I really don't like is that Andrealphus already has a fucking character, a motivation, and a personality despite having like 4 minutes’ worth of screentime on his first appearance no less. Yet Millie and Loona don't really have most of those things on their own despite them both being the main protagonists of the damn series.

Andrealphus is also a bit creepy towards Stella as he calls his younger sister a "minx" and his "fiery vixen". Why is Andrealphus calling his younger sister these words specifically? I don't know why and I don't like it.

Blitzo & Stolas

Blitzo in this episode as always is just very annoying as every third or fourth sentence he says, it always has to be a damn curse word. I've said this once and I'll say it again, just because Helluva Boss is an adult show doesn't mean it can just spew out curse words every minute.

We all knew that Blitzo never liked being insulted but it's gotten to the point where Blitzo is literally willing to kill people just because they insulted him intentionally or unintentionally, how thin is his fucking skin? Yeah, he didn't like being insulted in Season 1, but he wasn't willing to kill random demons. If he was then Verosika and Fizzarolli would be fucking dead.

There's also the fact that Blitzo almost says the r-word and when he damn near says it he cuts himself off saying "Really can't say that word anymore." Well Blitzo and the writers that made him say that in the pilot you weren't supposed to say it period.

Lastly, my main problem with Blitzo is him saying "He can get hurt?" Referring to Stolas obviously.

And I'm wondering, why was Blitzo questioning this? Stolas would've gotten killed in Harvest Moon if it wasn't for Blitzo interrupting and stopping Striker so he's aware that Stolas can die.

And next, he panicked in that same episode literally saying "Alright, well hurry. Stolas sounds like he might be in real shit this time." Signifying that he knows Stolas can get damaged because Striker has angelic weapons. So why is Blitzo questioning whether or not Stolas could get hurt when there are two instances where Blitzo was concerned about Stolas getting hurt? Make it make sense.

What Blitzo should've said was "Stolas got hurt?" Because that would indicate that Blitzo knows Stolas would get hurt, but didn't know that he could get hurt this badly. It's a simple line change, how could the writers fuck that up?

So onto Stolas, starting with WHY DIDN'T HE PETRIFY STRIKER THE MOMENT HE SHOT HIM?! Stolas had gotten shot at, dodged it, and had more than enough time to react and petrify Striker, but instead, he looks at Stella with a surprised look and avoids another gunshot and decides to retreat instead of petrifying Stolas.

Why is it that in Loo Loo Land, Stolas petrified an Imp who can't even hurt him or Octavia the moment it appeared, but when Striker a guy who can hurt him appears, Stolas just runs. Stolas had two chances to petrify Striker but he didn't take them leading to him getting kidnapped by Striker.

Also, how did Stolas not recognize Striker despite the fact that he literally called Striker by name in Harvest Moon? Like Stolas literally didn't recognize Striker, but this can be excused as Stolas not remembering many Imps aside from Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo.

Lastly, Stolas kicked the shit out of Striker in this scene while being tortured, so how come he didn't kick Striker while or before Striker was on the fucking train? His long ass legs were free and at any time, Stolas could've just kicked Striker either off his horse or Stolas could've just kicked himself off the horse and escaped there. I know Striker has his rope, but Stolas could've at least tried to escape willingly, especially when he questions himself if he's in danger.

The Pacing, Nonstop Cuts, & Unnecessary Stuff

This show just can't stick to one thing for at least five minutes. There are just nonstop unnecessary cuts throughout this episode. Can you stick to one plot and resolve it in that same runtime?

A major example of this is when Blitzo's plot happens for 1 minute and 30 seconds, then after Blitzo's plot, Striker's theme song happens, then right after Striker's theme song, Blitzo's plot resumes. Like what was the point of all that? Why not just have Blitzo's section finish with Blitzo entering the Doctor's room with Loona then shift to Striker's theme song? Like good God just stick to one thing and make a smooth transition.

There's also this scene where Moxxie and Millie are going to get gas. Moxxie fights a bunch of cowboys and Millie asks a couple miniature-imp cowboys where Striker is located. Their roles are oddly reversed because it would be more fitting if Millie was the one killing those cowboys and Moxxie was the one asking the question. I don't mind that, but Moxxie killing the Cowboys was unnecessary in my opinion.

If this was to show Moxxie was more aggressive and stronger than they already did in his fight with Striker, Moxxie literally kicked and knocked him back and he took blows from Striker that would've normally knocked him out.

Hellbies

The concept of Hellbies doesn't make any sense and is boring. You're telling me that Hellhounds have their own version of rabies and have to get a shot? Do the writers even know how rabies works? I'm gonna assume that Hellbies works differently than regular rabies, but the concept of it just makes Hell more like Earth which is boring. I'll elaborate in a future post.

Loona doesn't say anything in this episode, but Erica Lindbeck, the voice actress had some personal stuff going on in her life so I understand why Loona didn't have any dialogue. It's probably the same for Exes and Ohs. I don't mind Loona not having dialogue now that I understand the context it's just that the B plot and the entire premise around it sucks.

The Text Messages

In this episode, there are text messages that can easily be ignored since they happen so fast, but for some reason, they're also important to the Stolitz ship. I'm sorry but why are text messages we never saw before the reason why Stolas and Blitzo are still together? Why did the writers solve Ozzie's debacle off-screen instead of on-screen? WHY DIDN'T STOLAS AND BLITZO TALK LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE?! You can't just text someone and then everything is back to normal. That's not even how this shit works, good God. Anyway, time to look at the text messages.

So Stolas apologizes to Blitzo about what happened at Ozzie's and that's the only message that was really sent between Ozzie's and Seeing Stars. It's clear that Stolas was trying to play it cool with Blitzo, saying that he's fine with being the subject of a joke but it's clear that he obviously wasn't especially after he was called out by Asmodeus, Stolas just covers up his face in shame. I'm going to assume that Stolas is using this method to seem like he didn't care about Asmodeus mocking him.

There are numerous messages of Stolas offering to spend time with Blitzo and Blitzo gives these one-word or one-sentence replies not really caring about them. So I don't really see why people keep saying that Blitzo secretly cares about Stolas when these text messages also show that he just doesn't really care and does it to not make Stolas feel bad.

But the message that I noticed that made me mad was this one below. So if this was always an option then what was the point of Blitzo needing to fuck Stolas every once a month to get access to the book? Here's the twist though, Stolas never told Blitzo until after he was confronted. If Blitzo can "always" just drop off the book then why didn't Stolas tell him? So Stolas is basically manipulating Blitzo right here, the option was never there and Stolas texts that so he won't seem like a bad person. But oopsie daisy, this just makes him much worse.

Anyway, Blitzo is the first one to finally text Stolas and when Stolas texts him back wanting Blitzo to visit him, Blitzo doesn't respond. The reason why I don't like these text messages is that we get more insight into Stolitz and we finally know what happened between Stolas and Blitzo after Ozzie's, but all of that happened off-screen and by text no less.

The Comedy

The comedy in this episode ranges from a shit ton of curse words, violence, and dirty jokes. Those jokes can get old really fast and it was honestly annoying to just hear them tbh.

A major example of the comedy just not working is when Blitzo just yells from the top of his lungs the moment he entered the hospital for like no reason. I understand he's frustrated, but all of that yelling was just really unnecessary and I don't have the best humor myself.

Lack of Tension

The tension in this episode either doesn't exist or just quickly fades away and that's likely due to how fast the issues get solved. I didn't feel scared for anybody, especially Stolas despite the fact that Stolas was the one being tortured and damn near killed.

The tension where Stolas gets tortured just doesn't exist at all because Stolas doesn't even care about the pain and even disturbs Striker despite being tortured and Stella calls Striker to spare Stolas. So Stolas getting his life threatened doesn't even matter because Stella called off the hit the moment Striker was going to deal the finishing blow.

Conclusion

Most of the events in the episode could've been avoided if Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, or Loona could've told Stolas about Striker and that's the thing that pisses me off the most. Had literally anyone remembered Striker and told Stolas at least a day prior to him meeting up with Andrealphus and Stella then Stolas would've been prepared and petrified Striker the moment he entered the cafe. This episode as many other ones raises a lot of questions and unfortunately, we can't have a Helluva Boss episode without at least 5 questions popping up and no answers.

I'm beyond disappointed at this point and I'll actually be surprised if there is a decent Helluva Boss Season 2 Episode, but only time will tell. If you all want to read more long essay blogs similar to this, feel free to check out my other posts. Thank you all for reading this review + rant blog and I hope you all have a nice day!

#helluva boss #helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #helluva critical #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #western energy

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