#still alive cause im petty

[juneloveletter]

adulting is too hard without positive reinforcement. i want my friends to stand outside my lecture room and say good job and give me little treats when i come outside

#day 26 of not going to class #wish i was a dog #cause treats #and compliments #cause i would be kenough #student #slave #hell is other people #they’re my classmates #emotionally drained #socially drained #financially drained #still alive cause im petty

[littleporksausage]

My ex friend finally kicked me off his steam library sharing

Only took him half a year

#im not particularly torn up about it #tho its funny to me that he hadnt noticed up until now #im like 95% sure he removed me manually cause i saw him online today and i played one game from his library #which i havent been doing much cuz all the good games were on his sister's account which steam always liked kicking me off randomly #anyway im the winner here still cuz i have our shared terraria world #this all sounds incredibly petty but the main reason i havent disabled the library sharing was because i thought it was funny #its such a random situation. ive legit not heard anything from the guy since march. but you bet your ass i played games from his library #the only reason i know hes still alive even is that it took him a few months more to ghost another mutual friend and she mentioned him #i got the terraria world in the divorce. idc that he built the castle. i fished there. blood sweat and tears went into that goddamn phone #pork talks

[youngpettyqueen]

I totally agree with your latest update on your post about Charles. I saw this meme earlier and it definitely made me think of him. I won’t comment on who I think the first part applies to.

so glad you agree ok cause I am a Charles defender first and human second

and to elaborate on that sentiment like. yes Charles is rude and pretentious and arrogant, he's got flaws, but that's not all he is! boiling him down to just his negative traits no matter any context is just a disservice to his character, both as he comes right from the get-go and the growth he goes through over the course of the series. he's just as complex and layered as anyone else!

honestly after a rewatch im far more sympathetic towards him earlier on than I was on first watch. like, the arrogance and pretentiousness aside, because those are separate- his anger at being at the 4077 is completely justified. he has every right to be angry. this colonel literally sent him near the front of the line because he was a petty asshole who was pissed off about losing bridge. im not saying Charles was behaving particularly sportsman-ly but the colonel was absolutely wrong for that. and like, I get that they needed another surgeon at the 4077 with Frank gone, but Charles also had every right to be angry with Potter for keeping him there. it was fucked up!

but to switch gears to his virtues- not all of Charles' kindness was part of his character development I dont think. him defending the kid with the stutter comes to mind immediately, because we know he felt so passionately about that kid because Honoria has a stutter. there's also Yessir, That's Our Baby- he gets MAD on behalf of the injustice that baby faces! that's big brother instinct, but thats also just. kindness and care. oh, and the patient who loses mobility in his hand and is distraught because he's a pianist, and Charles goes out of his way to get him music he can play with only one hand? his whole speech about how he always wanted to play, but never had the gift? he's so passionate in that one! and of course we cant forget his family's tradition of anonymously donating to people in need around the holidays- for all his family's flaws, ive always loved that detail, and ive always loved that he tried to do it even in Korea. those are just examples off the top of my head, there's absolutely more

and then there's the kindness and care he exhibits as he grows as a character. when Potter reveals to everyone he's the last one of his old friend group still alive, Charles CRIES with them! he's emotional during Millie Carpenter's funeral and Hawkeye's eulogy! just the entirety of Sons and Bowlers, dont even get me started- he stays with Hawkeye the entire time, even when Hawkeye doesnt want him to and tries to chase him off, talks with him and comforts him and opens up to him and is vulnerable with him. the entirety of GFA and his arc there

like yeah Charles isnt always nice he has flaws he's not perfect but he's capable of so much kindness, he's so passionate, and he just cares SO much. he just doesnt show it often! he'll move a mountain for someone even if he would never admit to it! reducing him to just his negative traits is again just such a disservice to his character he's so much more than that

#mash #charles winchester #I love him so much as we can see #ive been thinking about him a lot lately since ive been writing from his POV so much #I was raving about Sons and Bowlers to a friend of mine who doesnt watch MASH #that episode makes me unreasonably emotional #he cares so goddamn much

[cacklefrendly]

actually no, im not gonna restrain myself to the tags. I've never played ANY final fantasy game but i think Emet-Selch is a very cool take on a villain who isn't evil n i have a lot of emotions about him

i initially compared FF14 to a zombie apocalypse, which i don't think is WRONG (Humanity being mutilated imitations of Ascians ≈ Zombies being mutilated imitations of Humanity) but being able to say that AND still appreciate that Emet-Selch is A Villian(tm) depends on some prerequisite over-thinking on the nature of Existence As You and how one would apply that to eldritch beings and as much as i love talking those are some difficult words :/

so instead of zombies — let's go with dogs.

let's sayyy that reports come in, tomorrow, that a horrible Thing will obliterate the world. let's say it's a plague, or a super-parasite. it is On Its Way, and it Will Kill Everything. this is a 100% guarantee.

you're part of a group of the world's greatest minds. this group steps forward and says "hey, we think we can stop this, but we need to test it on human subjects and it will probably kill them." they open to volunteers. millions of people apply. they die, but because of their sacrifices, a solution is found — let's say it's a super-strong pesticide. everyone else survives, but the planet is left a complete wreck.

the world's greatest minds come back again. "we're pretty sure we can adapt our solution to fix the planet, but we need to test it on humans again." again, millions volunteer, and again, millions die, and again, their sacrifices save everyone else. the former pesticide rejuvenates the planet. it might even be better than before.

a third time, the greatest minds speak. "hey, a lot of the people who've volunteered aren't actually dead. they're in comas because of our solution and we've been keeping them alive. we think we can adapt the solution to save them, but we need more test subjects. we won't ask the people to go through this again — we'll use plants and animals instead. it'll put a dent in the ecosystem, but it's the only way."

In response, a new group of people speaks up. "no, we should just stay as it is, the solution has caused us enough pain as it is. we should just move forward and let those people stay gone."

the two groups argue. they fight. a second 'solution' is made, in secret, to kill the first. it's released.

this new solution kills the first and, for the sake of our comparison, turns the entire population into dogs. several dogs, actually. each person becomes several dogs.

only, like, 3 people aren't dog-ed. you're one of them. you're one of the people who saved your species, and now you're looking at the end of it.

what would you do?

would you hate the dogs? i mean, i love dogs. i don't think i could hate them for existing. they didn't ask to exist, after all. maybe you could try living with them? make a fancy snouted mask to fit in? learn to bark and growl like them? maybe you could adopt a puppy, or try to direct a pack. maybe if you get bored you could try making packs fight.

actually, i think you would hate them. just not immediately.

it might take looking into a husky's face and see your best friend's eyes looking through you. maybe it takes being bitten for how loudly you grieve. maybe it takes you seeing them not for what they Are, but for every conversation you'll Never Have Ever Again. every joke and love and loss and petty workplace grudge that they've replaced with bark whine bark bark woof. they're not people. they could never BE people. no matter how much they howl and snap and war and tear into each other's mangy fuckin throats over rotten trash and you cry and sob and plea they're. just. dogs.

i think you'd try to bring humanity back. no matter how many dogs die in the process, i think you'd try. it would be worth a thousand dogs, if you could bring back ten people.

you'd work with the other survivors. you'd plan, and experiment, and lead the dogs in circles, and you'd try and try and try but the mutts keep WHINING and BITING and KILLING and on one hand you can understand the need for survival but this is for THEM this is for US why don't they get that WHY, WHY WON'T THEY JUST LET YOU SAVE THEM?

imagine the joy you'd feel when one day, a dog that's been a little too smart, a little too capable, finally stands up.

it says your name, it looks you in the eyes, and you can tell that it finally sees you.

and then it rips your throat out.

#ffxiv #Emet-Selch #the inherent tragedy of fighting for survival against something else that also wants to survive #but your survival is genuinely predicated on the other NOT surviving #watching alphinaud argue w Emet-Selch was emotionally painful (fond) bc yeah he DIDN'T understand #it was horrible. i love it. why did nobody tell me this game has a gold story #cackle rants #emet selch

[boypussydilf]

BMT (bacon mettuce tomato) from that ask game forrrrrr..... persona AND sgt frog. double whammy

BACON METTUCE TOMATO

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

in persona … i would most likely never have thought of sumitaba in my life if not for the fandom. they r just neat. uhhhhhh. lets see surely theres some pair of sgt frog characters i never wouldve considered interacting or smth if not for some external influence. Most notably kurudoro i probably wouldnt habe really thought about them if not for the fandom either but its hard to remember, but let’s also give a shout out to some pairs ive seen interacting One Time- i THINK i saw one (1) piece of ship fanart of bariri and keroro? if im remembering correctly? And also hark ! to the fanart of dororo and putata interacting. iirc. rich kid swag

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

EVERY character I LOVE friendship 😌😊☺️🍃🌱💅❤️😌🤭🍀🌸⭐️🌈✨😚 ok im done now. Anyway for real though I would like to be friends with all of the phantom thieves we would be besties . but i wanna hang out w yusuke and futaba especially. but like, separately. the violence when they are combined is funny but would be too intense for me. Also, Eikichi Persona 2. And maybe Maya Persona 2 we wouldn’t necessarily be close friends but she’s nice.

if dororo n koyuki were real we would be best friends “u n dororo n koyuki or me n u” yes. i would enjoy hanging out with fuyuki as well.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Ok well first of all lists of immutable autistic & trans headcanons as long as my arm for both series, but we already know that very well. Other than that uh ….. really die hard thoughts …. akira & futaba are siblings its simply a fact. also that fanart where sumi runs into akechi post p5r and shes the only one who knows hes alive for a while and its kinda just Them is like 85% canon in my brain. Also there is no world post-p5 where akira doesn’t become like… protests georg. if you have an Adult Akira Kurusu concept and hes anything other than not only willing to punch dudes in the face to try and get things to change but actually Actively Doing the closest things to that he can manage: you are just wrong.

sgt frog headcanons that r Just Canon to me …….. Aside frm the list of whos autistic keroro Super Has ADHD but that really kind of is just canon. not on purpose but no one in the history of mankind has adhd coded a frog harder than this. There’s not much else I can think of this is the worst thing to ever happen to me 😔 I could reiterate my trans headcanons in great detail but we’d be here all night and the Sgt Frog 10 Years Later au in my brain is still only half-formed (its my job, my DUTY, with everything i like to imagine what the characters are like a while post-canon, especially if theres kids who can grow up or other clear room for further life development, but also there’s a lot of factors to consider to figure details out.) So I’m just gonna end by talking about Kururu’s older siblings because we as a people need to talk more about them. I think that personality wise they’re both like. somewhere in between kururu and saburo. They like to Cause Problems On Purpose more than saburo who mostly just Doesn’t Prevent problems but not as much as kururu whod probably blow up a galaxy if it was funny enough, but they’re also like, Outwardly Nice, less like kururu and more like saburo. Theyre sooo good at acting friendly and sweet and normal that you can miss how extremely petty and selfish they’re being and all the problems they are causing. This is just based on 1 clip in the anime where shipepe sends keroro a card for new years or something like that? and part of it goes kinda like “Just a funny thing…. you know what that happens to remind me of? That time I bought you ramen in elementary school…. I still remember exactly how much money you owe me <3” anyway tbats what they’re like to me.

#hehe thx <3 #basilask #p5r #< spoiler tag for th 1 mention of akechi being alive post royal LOL #beneath the mask #keron wa uchuu ichi… tabun #i expressed thoughts.

[a-vampire-culturelover]

The Serpent and the Tide - a sequel to The Serf and the Moon

Slowly, the Lady had awoken, a burning thirst lingering in the back of her throat. 'Where am I?' she thought to herself as she looked around. The last thing she remembered was running from an an attack set on the village she had lived in, passing out from her wounds, and a strange sting in the side of her neck.

Checking to be sure, she had felt where the stinging had originating, finding two prick marks, faded and healed, but still a reddish color. She had tried to think of what could possibly have caused it, trying to retrace her steps and remember anything else. It was as she was trying to remember that she felt the small snake that had coiled itself around her chest tightly, flicking its forked tongue in delight seeing her awake at last. "I see your awake now" A voice pitched in from the shadows, startling The Lady, who broke out into an abrupt hiss at the stranger. She covered her own mouth at the horrid noise that had just came from her, more scared than she was before. The voice had emerged from the shadows to reveal a shorter woman with a bat ear growing out of her forehead, blue eyes that shined almost as bright as the moon did. "W-who are you?" She had spoken up at last. "My name is Moon. I saved you from death, although I am not quite sure having an undead and unbeating heart counts as so." If she could breathe, it would have stopped after hearing what Moon had said. She wasn't alive but she wasn't dead? How? Before she could say anything else she felt the prick of something sharp in her mouth, two sharp fangs in place of dull canines. It was then she had realized just what Moon was, and what had happened to her: She was a vampire now. The burning thirst in her throat finally made sense now, as she had grown thirstier, aware of what her body hungered for. She suddenly broke down in tears, catching Moon unaware. Feeling sorry for this tall, beautiful woman that she had turned, came closer to wipe away the tears and ignoring the snake that hissed out of pettiness for being flicked away when Moon originally turned her. "What is your name, darling?" Moon had quietly asked, being as gentle as she could to the trembling vampire. "Rosita. My name is Rosita." Her voice trembling as she began to finally calm down. "You feel much more like an Empress to me." Moon had complimented her, lightly flirting. "Empress" blushed lightly, beginning to finally accept her situation and her newfound immortality.

“Let me introduce you to the rest of the court. Im sure The King will have a good way of explaining this all to you.” Moon said as she led Empress to The Vampire King, leaning in close to the taller one’s touch.

#adventure time #adventure time stakes #adventure time the empress #adventure time the moon

[bespectacledbun]

JAYA 🔫 Jin, Dazai, Mitsuhide and Nobunaga (slbp) for the ask game 😈😈 yes I'm going overboard no I don't care <3

Jin — who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite 

ok so I marked both indifferent and cute for Jin cause like, I don’t really know how to explain how I feel about him? like I for sure don’t stan him or love him as a romantic interest, but as a character he’s just so damn cute 🥺💕 usually im not a big fan of “older men” characters that play up the age difference a lot (think shingen, sirius, leonardo, etc) but with jin the way he interacts with all his younger brothers is too fucking adorable and incredibly relatable for me (I have two younger brothers who are shits but I would still give the world for them) and whenever he talks about doting on his brothers I’m just like 😭💖 my fucking heart, sir

Dazai — who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite 

🧍🏽‍♀️ok imma be honest I kind of like. Dont Know how to feel towards Dazai because on one hand, he’s a supremely interesting character and his route sounded fantastic when my friend was translating it for me (plus bonus Charles!) but on the other hand..... his reason for being revived and his general mindset is like. it hits a little too close to home for my comfort (like with licht). but his character is really cool!! if his route wasn’t all kinds of triggering for me I would read it just because one of my friends loves him a lot 😭

Mitsuhide (ikesen) — who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite 

ok so u know how you said you can’t stand chevalier sometimes and think he’s overrated cause of how popular he is...... that’s me but w mitsuhide........ 😭 like im sorry @ mitsu stans but this man is genuinely so boring to me holy fuck. lich rally cannot stand this mf at ALL

Nobunaga (slbp) — who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite 

HOOOOOOOOOOOO BABY STRAP THE FUCK IN CAUSE DO I HAVE SHIT TO TALK ABOUT FOR THIS MAN. so for those not in the know slbp Nobu is one of my first, first ever otome loves, from the time I started playing it 2016-17. and oh my gods, do I love this fucking character. Ive read both his Act 1 and 2 and the way the romance develops between him and Hanako is so precious :sadreach: his childlike personality was endearing from his act 1 itself (I love a man who likes sweets and climbing trees) and I love how fucking petty and cynical he is at times and honestly almost every character I've liked since has had some similarities to Nobu which is embarrassing to admit hshdfjdfjfgg.

there’s also one event that I can’t remember the name of, where he accidentally disrupted a shrine and to placate the god of the shrine Hanako has to find a flower that grows high up on a cliff and offer it at the shrine. she gets the flower, but Nobu realizes where she is and finds her just as she slips off the cliff and catches her and he tells her “I don’t fear the gods or the Buddhas, but the thought of losing you scares me more than anything else” AND I JUST. I CANT. CHARACTERS LIKE THAT ARE SOOOO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>. honestly I dont even think that’s verbatim but this dialogue has lived rent free in my head ever since that event I love him so much

put a fictional character in my ask box!

#answered #ask game #wardans #jin grandet #osamu dazai #akechi mitsuhide #oda nobunaga #to clarify Hanako is the name i use for song of radiance mc in slbp #Tsukiko is the name I use for the song of shadow mc in slbp

[greenhouse-haunted]

welcome to the greenhouse: its haunted.

hello, we are a median system! we are still figuring out things right now. below are introductions, and dont worry, this post is just a placeholder for now.

🏡Flowchi Elmflowers -- the core/host, main blog @elmflowers​

hi yeah its me flowchi im having a fucking identity crisis before finals. garden.

🌼Jane Doe -- the “worksona”, 18, younger sister of John, she/her

Hello. I do not have a Tumblr blog. I don’t know what I’m supposed to put here, because usually I just do work and work with colleagues. Pleasure to meet you. daisy. 

🌻John Doe -- the “normalsona”, 19, older brother of Jane, he/him

HEYYYYY im john!! i also dont have a tumblr blog cause like all of us who arent flowchi is gonna use this account. im one of the many ghosts that haunt this place LMAOO. like. flowchi is the greenhouse and me and the rest are the ghosts in it or like. the flowers? yeah we are all flower themed. oh yeah i mostly am the guy who talks with people flowchi isnt close to so like. social guy over here LOL. soooo ill probably be here a LOT. sunflower!

💐Lux Elmflowers -- the younger sister/”family flowchi”, just a little guy, flowchi splinter, she/her

YOOOO im lux im the guy who has to hang around the family all the goddamn tiiiimme. uhhhh im also the guy who was the longest out!! at like once. anyways im kind of annoying and spontaneous and shit. im younger than flowchi! OH I FORGOT IM A COMPUTER PROGRAM LOL. blue pansy!

💮Kui Elmflowers -- the voice of reason/”pretherapy”, he/they

yo. im the only goddamn reason this man is alive. now he has therapy and has his head on straight im now targeting his friends. and this guy should go the FUCK TO SLEEP. red lily.

🌹Anaphora Elmflowers -- the “dragon”, calmer these days, they/them

hello. i am flowchi’s negativity, anger, and all of that. the personal ones not the surface level angers. if all things go well, and there is no pain flowchi cannot handle himself, i should not be around much. rose.

🌺Flowchibot -- the child, they/them

hiiiiiii!!!! im uh. fucking tiny!! i can say fuck!!!!! heheheehehehhehee!!! lux is kind of like my older sister ish? im a robot! pink peony!

🐱‍👤Creatura -- the cat, he/him

mraw. nmremewema. mrawwwwwamrmwarm. mrrrr. MRAH. (hes a catnip flower)

🍊Dirk Strider -- Dirk Strider fictional

Hello. I’m Dirk Strider. I have been around a very long time. I’m still getting used to this, though. orange flower.

🥀Jason Todd -- Jason Todd fictional

heya im jason todd from batman and i handle all the “petty anger” and also english class. fuckin hell this is weird. i miss my siblings. red poppy.

🦇Bruce Wayne -- Bruce Wayne fictional

hi, i’m jason’s dad. im mostly chill, i think. hip with the kids? all i know is that i was 45 and now i cannot be 45. i miss my other kids. yellow begonia.

💙Dick Grayson -- Dick Grayson fictional

hey im dick! im the oldest of like 7 roughly, and also from batman. im more of a support for everyone else so im kinda a caretaker like my dad! bluebell

🎴Tim Drake -- Tim Drake fictional

i miss my bf. i miss my team. i miss the rest of my fucking family. one of these days i will fight god. red daisy.

👹Damian Wayne -- Damian Wayne fictional

I am Damian Wayne. I am an artist like Flowchi, and are from the same universe as the rest of my family. Green Hydrangea.

🏵Tyranni/Technosserine -- Passerine!Technoblade fictional

i mostly sing. yellow rose.

#the flowerbed #worksona #normalsona #family flowchi #pretherapy #dragon #flowchibot #creatura #ds #j todd #tyranni #<-- everyones tags #d grayson #d wayne #t drake

[night-dark-woods]

people have GOT to stop using the princess mononoke “youre beautiful” scene for random pairings its a SPECIFIC DYNAMIC u cant just SLAP whatever pairing u want on there! its about san’s hatred of humans conflicting with ashitaka saving her life, and ashitaka’s determination to CARE about everyone despite and because of his curse, and about being HUMAN and u cant just use it for any pairing u feel like!!!

#this is absurdly petty i KNOW but oh my god #my posts #its like. one of my top 5 movies of all time im allowed to care about it #i GENUINELY dont think theres a rwby pairing that fits it!!! i dont!!! #stop drawing robyn and winter like that. and nuts and dolts. and wahtever else istg if i see a mono one ill RIOT bc #no. #i love them but thats not their dynamic!!! #if anything i can kiiiiiinda see bumbleby w yang as ashitaka (semblance as curse bc of uncontrollabel strength w rage etc) #blake Could fit as san but youd need to rework backstory etc bc parents are alive etc #lady eboshi as cinder cause she loses her arm etc... hm. #ok i guess i could be convinced for bumbleby version of this bc the Dynamic could be there #but still doesnt fit w canon #anyway!

[skeezsbbygirl]

kiss it better + bang chan

hello lovelies! (づ￣ ³￣)づ

im back with another bang chan scenario <3 hope you guys enjoy this one!! (oh and tmt hit 1k+ notes ahhh thank you so much >.<, also i might be uploading a prince!chan fic soon, stay tuned sunshines)

STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

"Chris, baby, please."

It's been two hours, nearing three, since Chris decided to give you the silent treatment. The cause of your current suffering rooted from the events that took place last night.

A college friend of yours happened to be visiting the city, and what better way to celebrate a rare occasion than dressing up and going for a girl's night out with a bunch of your other friends. Chris happily agreed to let you go, he didn't need much convincing since he trusted you with everything and that included you getting home in one piece.

As the late hours of the night passed and shifted over to the wee hours of the morning, Chris grew worried, checking his phone for the nth time as he expected a call or text from you to reassure him that you were fine, or that you were at least still alive somewhere.

Fortunately, he managed to get a hold of your situation through one of your friends, credits to Jisung for grabbing her number that one time you guys set them up for a date.

"Hyung, she said that (y/n) got into a cab ten minutes ago," Jisung explained over the phone. "Her phone also died, so that's probably the reason why you haven't heard from her," he added.

"Alright, got it. Thanks, Ji."

Strike one.

Your drunk self thought that it was a good idea to call for a cab, even declining your girlfriend's offer to drive you home. You insisted that you were fine and that you would only derail their way home since your apartment's route leads to the opposite direction. So, in your semi-intoxicated state, you hopped into a cab and made your way home.

Strike two.

You came home last night, struggling to keep a certain level of sobriety. Heels in one hand and your clutch in the other. You weren't completely hammered, but it was still enough to piss Chris off as he took in your drunken state.

Strike three.

Nevertheless, Chris patiently took care of you. He helped you out of your clothes, took your makeup off for you, and tucked you in bed with him.

You could've gotten away with what happened, until your hungover self decided to betray you.

When Chris sat you down for breakfast, he managed to ease in the happenings of last night, carefully bringing it up as to not agitate you or make you feel like he's blaming you for going out and having fun.

He was just worried, especially having known that you went home all by yourself without even contacting him.

"Baby, you could've borrowed one of your friends' phone and asked me to come pick you up," Chris sighed as he reached out for your hand, placing his on top of yours, his fingers tracing circles on your skin.

"I know and I'm sorry, but can you just scold me later?" you said, your tone a little harsher than you intended it to be, probably due to the lingering headache and side effects of your drinks last night. You felt like your skull was being split into two and you just wanted to eat and recover in silence.

"Babe, I'm not scolding you. I was just-"

You cut Chris off. "Alright, I get it, you were worried but I took care of myself. So let's just argue later, yeah?" you snapped.

And you're out.

Upon hearing your reply, Chris' jaw clenched, visibly appearing offended and irritated. He retracted his hand from yours, opting to cross his arms over his chest.

You bit your tongue when the words you spat out finally settled in. It sounded wrong and you definitely shouldn't have said that. You readied yourself for the argument that was about to ensue, but nothing came.

"Okay."

That was all he said before he stood up and left.

Your eyes widened at the sudden realization that slapped you back into reality, the ugly outcome of your sudden outburst.

You were about to get up and follow Chris to apologize, however, the sudden throbbing pain in your head disabled you from getting out of your seat. Instead, you were forced to sit back down and wallow in guilt.

And that's how you ended up getting the silent treatment.

You left your boyfriend alone for a few hours, hoping that his anger would dissipate by the time that your hungover got better. But much to your dismay, he wasn't having it with you.

"Baby, can I come in?" you knocked on the door of Chris' home studio.

Silence.

"Chris, baby, please," you tried again, but you were still met with silence. You let out a sigh as you ambled back towards the living room, deciding to just give him space and talk it out whenever he's ready.

Chris was naturally a forgiving person, a little tougher on his members, but a complete sweetheart when it comes to you. So when he gave you the silent treatment for the very first time that day, you didn't know what to do.

So, you waited.

A couple of hours passed, three and a half, now, to be exact, you heard Chris' door unlock. You immediately perked up at the sound, quickly scurrying on your feet to meet him.

"Chris, I'm sorry," you apologized with your head hung low, eyes on the ground, and fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt.

Nothing. Nothing, but the cold breeze of Chris passing by, giving you no due attention. He sauntered towards the kitchen and opened the fridge, paying more attention to the cold food items that were displayed in front of him.

How you wish you were the half-eaten cheesecake now, huh?

Having enough with his torturous act, you were set on using the two tricks you had up your sleeves -- 1) faking an injury, as petty as that sounds, you were desperate, and 2) luring him with something he likes, be it an innocent gesture or a daring one, you would practically do anything at this point.

With your first plan in mind, you crept up behind him and positioned yourself near the edge of the marble kitchen island, placing your hip at the sharp corner so that it would appear as if you bumped against it.

From a third person's point of view, you probably looked stupid, scratch that, you did look stupid, but you were set on breaking Chris' silent streak.

"Ah!" you yelped in pain, hands quickly coming up to clutch your right side. You dropped on the ground, still maintaining your hold on your "injured" torso.

As soon as you cried out in pain, Chris hurried to your side.

"Baby, are you okay?" he asked with a worried expression plastered on his face. His cold demeanor immediately melting once he saw you clutching your side. "What happened, babygirl?" he crouched down to meet your level.

"I accidentally hit the edge of the counter," you said. "Come here, baby," Chris placed your arms around his neck as he scooped you up from the ground, carrying you bridal style towards the living room.

"Show me where it hurts, love," Chris ordered as he sat you down with him. He carefully moved you on his lap, making you straddle him.

"Right here," you pointed towards a random patch of skin on your right side. Chris placed his hand over the supposedly injured area, gently soothing it with the warmth that radiated from his palm.

Adding the icing on the cake, you hissed in pain as his hand came in contact with your skin. "Shh, it's okay, baby. I got you," Chris cooed as he planted a kiss on your cheek, in hopes of making you feel better.

He lifted your shirt up a bit, allowing him to inspect for any cuts or damage to your skin. "Do you want me to go get an ice pack?" Chris offered. "No, it's fine," you replied.

"Alright, just tell me if need anything," Chris responded as he leaned down to press a chaste kiss on your exposed skin, tugging your shirt back down as he pulled away.

You nuzzled your face into his neck, in an attempt to conceal the grin that was forming on your lips. Completely fooled by your actions, Chris continued rubbing your side as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

"Does it hurt anywhere else, baby?" Chris asked and you nodded. "Here," you pulled away from him and pointed towards your chest. He shot you a puzzled look, confused as to why your chest would hurt when you claimed that you bumped your side.

"Because I was trying to apologize to my boyfriend a couple of hours ago, but instead, he gave me the silent treatment," you pouted.

Chris bursted out in laughter as he heard your response.

"It's true. I followed him around like a lost puppy, but he locked himself inside his studio. Totally unfair and uncalled for," you continued and Chris shook his head in disbelief, his laughter coming to a stop as he calmed down.

"I could say the same thing about what happened last night," Chris challenged, raising one eyebrow at you.

"I'm sorry. I know I was being stupid. I should've called you or at least shot you a message from my friend's phone to let you know that I was coming home late. I just thought that if I called, I was going to end up bothering you, considering that it was such an ungodly hour," you explained, fiddling with the string of his hoodie.

"(Y/n), you could never be a bother to me," Chris said, "And did you honestly think that I could sleep knowing that you were out there?"

"I was so worried about you. Thank Jisung for having one of your friend's number because I was this close to losing it," Chris stated.

"I know. I'm really sorry," you pressed a kiss to his lips. "I promise I won't do it again, forgive me?" you added, pecking his lips once more.

"I can't stay mad at you," Chris let out a defeated sigh. "Of course. I forgive you, babygirl," he gave you a small smile.

You cheered and pulled him in for a hug, momentarily forgetting about your said injury.

"Do you feel better now?" Chris teased as he poked your sides, making you jolt in surprise. "Christopher!" you squealed, bursting in a fit of giggles as you realized that you've been caught red-handed.

Well, at least the intentions of your plan worked.

"You know what they say, desperate times call for desperate measures," you shrugged and Chris chuckled in amusement. He leaned in and gave you a kiss.

"You're lucky you're cute."

#stray kids #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan fluff #bang chan smut #bang chan #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #changbin scenarios #changbin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin imagines #han scenarios #han imagines #felix scenarios #felix imagines #seungmin scenarios #seungmin imagines #i.n imagines #i.n scenarios #chan drabble #kpop scenarios

[drabbles-of-writing]

oh god i forgot how much i loved phantom AU can we please get more HC's

HECK YEAH

Lucio. I love him so much you guys. He's a morally ambiguous (or so he claims) little shit who takes joy in causing problems and bullying everyone. Eda took 1 look at this clone kid and went "the vibes on this one are RANCID" and now they're best frenemies. Luz has given up trying to have them get along

Odalia and Alador make pretty much all their ghost-hunting weapons, Amity just stole theirs and they went on a whole Hunt for whoever had been stealing their stuff but they never realized it was her. the twins always knew it was her. they didn't say anything they thought it was hilarious. aannddd then they realize that Phantom ghost was flirting with her constantly. And Amity was kinda receptive to it. they lost their MINDS

we still have Luz being the master of all magic in this au, but with a twist! her core is still lightning and its always her strongest and first resort, but due to being a halfa, she can alter her core in a way that allows her to have, say, a fire or plant sprinkled in and use that kind of magic on occasion. its far less reliable than her lightning core and takes an effort to use, but you better believe she uses it as much as possible. the ghosts are mildly freaked out by her. imagine being seen as a freak both alive and dead lmao shes having a whole trip

Luz and Lucio are the definition of ride or die. either they're mortal enemies or best friends. usually they only get along perfectly when Luz decides "screw it" and becomes petty or they have a common enemy. every other time Lucio is either someone Luz is mauling ON SIGHT or he's the bastard in the back of the room making comments nobody asked for. Willow once found them high on ghost catnip because Lucio thought it would be funny to get Luz high but then he also got high and she had to deal with that mess

Gus, resident ghost nerd: how did you find out your heart could beat stronger and in sync with anothers if you feel their pulse? Luz, who had been cuddling up to Amity during a bit of a 'oh my god im dead' breakdown and thus was close enough to realize her fading heartbeat was in sync with Amity's: oh, you know. trial and error

#asks #phantom au #the owl house #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #gus porter #lucio #toh #luz #amity #willow #gus #lumity #dorks #ghosts #cores #lightning #eda clawthorne #eda #odalia blight #alador blight #headcanons

[iwadori]

Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.  

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”  

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’  

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”  

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.  

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -  

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.  

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.  

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.”  said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”  

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.  

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.  

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”  

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.  

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #tsukishima kei #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima angst #tsukishima x reader

[velvetyh]

Holy shit that last anon was so petty??? Like ffs you give us top tier quality writings and for FREE

Like fuck you have a life and you do this for us for damn near nothing in return. I literally look up to you for your will to write, work a job, and survive all on your own out here like??? Not many can do that at this point. You're like a superhero for still coming back to interact on this blog.

Take your time, I'd rather wait and just interact with you on this blog and you write quality works them you get stressed and lose your love for writing so you can pump out generic smut like.... no.

I want you to keep your love of the boyz and writing about them alive. Not squash it to get results fast.

Wtf is even up with some of these anon haters. They're pathetic for real. "Miss girl" FOH with that demeaning, snooty, absolute trashy attitude 😒

UGH I just get so riled up over them which I know is all that feeds these trolls but Like

I just love you at this point and I'm ready to come to bat for you cause you are literally so precious and such a wonderful person to know. It's just people like them who are jealous of your light and wonder, that they will try to hurt you just so you can feel how they feel about themselves

sigh

Sorry I just feel protective over friends. You are such a gift to this world and I'm freaking lucky to have stumbled across this blog and I'm so glad I mustered up the courage to keep sending anons to you. You are worth more than what you give to others. Don't forget that. If you decide you don't want to keep writing, I'll still be here to talk about our days and gush over kpop things and yeah.

This is getting long sorry 😅 I know you're strong but please don't let these haters ruin your day or how you feel about yourself and your writing.

🌺

I promise a lot of people can do the stuff i do, some even work twice harder than i do! BUT i appreciate your support, i really enjoy getting your messages even if i had to turn off anon asks because of some idiots :// (you're so cute but don't look up at me too much im not that special)

i promise i will still love tbz no matter how much hate i get for writing for them... writing isn't easy but i'll try my best, i promise <33

'miss girl' and 'girlie' are two petnames that i find extremely degrading (in a bad way) and arrogant, it really irks me when i read them

anyway, thank you so so much for being so active and present on my blog, thank you 💌

you're too cute for this love, ily so so much 🥰

#🌺 anon

[acrosstobear]

f1 drivers as classic halloween costumes

qualifying @ imola is on halloween. need i say more?

Lewis: Nurse, but not a sexy one. We’re talking hospital scrubs, lab coat, stethoscope, the whole shebang. Out here honouring our front line workers cause he’s literally the best person alive.

Valterri: Clown that thinks he’s being funny but actually, he’s a really creepy clown and is scaring everyone away. give George the merc seat thx

Max: He’s putting in minimal effort for maximum payout. Yes, he IS wearing a scary and/or gory mask with RBR team clothes. The whole getup sounds scary to me.

Alex: You know my wholesome child is wearing some kind of animal onesie. Don’t even try to deny it.

Seb: Mad scientist. With the Albert Einstein inspired crazy wig, the makeup to make it look like he was just in a lab explosion... You just know this is a good costume.

Charles: Sexy devil and here are my reasons: 1) red 2) sexy 3) devil. Even if I wasn’t talking about costumes, you’d know I was talking about Sharl.

Lando: You KNOW this kid is putting on a morph suit and calling it a day. Classic popular kid move. I still love him anyways.

Carlos: Cringey tourist in a Hawaiian shirt. I was running out of ideas tbh but he gives me happy, ignorant vibes, just like an American tourist.

Daniel: He’s either dressing up as a cop or as a fire fighter, but both would definitely be the sexy, shirtless version. I’m gonna have to move on before I picture this one too much.

Esteban: 80’s workout instructor. It’s the gay chaotic energy I AM SO SORRY.

Lance: Superhero — so wholesome and so common and you KNOW he’s got the really expensive exact replica version that you’d wear at Comic Con rather than the cheap Costco lookalike.

Checo: Cowboy. SUCH A DAD COSTUME. I’m picturing now it boots with spurs, wide leg jean, denim on denim and the best cowboy hat money can buy.

Pierre: The daintiest, prettiest, fiercest cat of all time. PLEASE imagine little ears sticking out of his hair!!! Whiskers drawn on his face!!! I’m losing it please help

Daniil: Skeleton. I have so few feelings about Daniil, so a skeleton seemed fitting here lol.

Antonio: Pirate. ITS THE HAIR. I cant unsee this and now I’m picturing Antonio in Pirates of the Caribbean and honestly? I’m not upset.

Kimi: Sheet ghost. He’ll forcibly participate, but he quite literally pulled the sheets off the bed of the hotel that morning and didn’t even bother cutting holes for eyes.

Romain: I mean... Who would Romain be if he didn’t dress up as a chef? There’s literally no other option.

Kevin: Witch, cause he’s devious and petty and wants to get revenge on us all. For reference, I genuinely like Kevin.

George: I have three words for you: DANNY. ZUKO. GREASE. Just thinking about this one sent me into another universe but GEORGE IS DANNY CHANGE MY MIND.

Nicholas: This man is a blank slate. He goes as the second half of a very cringe couples costume that he has absolutely no input in.

(BONUS) Hulk: THE HULK. IM PRETTY SURE YOU GUESSED THAT BEFORE WE EVEN STARTED.

#f1 #lando norris #formula 1 #george russell #alex albon #f1 drivers #lewis hamilton #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #carlos sainz junior #max verstappen #nicholas latifi #mercedes #mclaren #williams #red bull racing #ferrari #haas #alfa tauri #alpha romeo #kimi raikkonen #antonio giovinazzi #halloween #daniel ricciardo #checo perez #lance stroll #racing point #renault #esteban ocon #pierre gasly

[dumblemonchickenwing]

My take on Sev\erus Sn\ape. After all those years

I am aware of all his flaws. He had a rough childhood and never had anyone who would help him grow into a better person or give him a personality that would help him change. But that doesn’t excuse any thing he ever did throughout the series.

He was selfish and petty, and though he loved Lily, it was the only thing that brought any good out of him. And yet the reason he loved her, im  pretty sure, was that she was the only person he knew and was close to, and also because she made him feel human and he may have always wanted to be with her because she brought out good things in him, with her kind and sweet personality. He wanted to be around her because it would make him feel less lonely and make him feel good. He didnt want to be there for her, at least intially it never crossed his mind.  His love toward her also stems from him not wanting, not willing to change. He only knew Lily, and only wanted to be with her. He didn’t want to put any effort in changing that and looking at anyone else. He wanted Lily all to himself, even if it was bad for her. He was extremely jealous and he hated admitting he was wrong, he shifted blame on others, and even when he was confronted by her he kept excusing himself.

Even when he went too far and she cut ties with him, he felt he had the excuse to call her an extremely hurtful slur “mudblood”. He tried to get back to her even after he crossed the line and hurt her deeply, instead of holding himself accountable and realizing she deserves to be treated right. Not to mention his highly hypocritic attitude of calling every muggleborn a slur and treating them like they’re not human, yet only being nice to Lily, not caring to realize how mean this attitude is and how it makes Her feel. 

His love for her didnt change him at all, because he only cared about his own feelings, because he wasn’t willing to change for Lily, because he loved her out of his own pettiness and obsession. His feelings were centered around himself and what he saw and felt.  James Potter was a bully and a spoiled kid. But what people often gloss over is the thing he did what Sn\ape didn’t. James changed himself for Lily, because he loved her in a way that let him recognize and reflect on her feelings and what she wants. James was a jerk, he did bad things, he was a bully, but he made that part of himself his past, for Lily. 

Sn\ape didnt change himself for her nor for anyone, nor for himself, he chose to stay the way he is because he didnt feel the need to look into himself and maybe realize there are things he could have made different because what he does hurts Lily. He kept going the path he started . Maybe he knew he was wrong but he still didnt change.

The reason S\nape threw everything he started, away, and sworn to Dumbledore to protect Harry, was because Sn\ape hated himself for being the cause of Lily’s death. He grieved and was in a lot of pain, and he hated himself most but he chose to self destruct rather than become better and heal to not repeat the same mistake again. It was his choice. 

His self-hatred has become the core of his character ever since Lily perished. If he had decided to make up for his mistakes and learn from them, he would have changed what made him make those mistake he had made, and grow as a person. If he had loved Lily in a way that included her feelings in his mind, he would have looked at Harry differently. He would have become slightly better, he would have chosen to act differently and he would have been able to see things in a kinder light. But he chose to drown in self-hatred, he chose to hate himself and let it be the only feeling in his life. He subconsciously chose to hurt himself by making himself think that Lily’s son was a copy of the person who bullied him, instead of seeing Harry as someone different from that. Sna\pe hated everyone because of choosing to let his hate be the only feeling.

Sn\ape chose to betray lord Voldemort and death eaters, Not because he didnt want to be a death eater anymore. Not because he no longer shared their values.

He was into dark magic, he actively supported death eaters even when Lily was alive. Did it change? Did he decide he hates dark magic? Did he decide he hates death eaters? No. In fact, his values never changed, he never turned his back on them out of principle.

He did it because he still saw himself as a death eater. He still had same values as them. He followed them. But he chose to betray them because he chose to destroy himself.

Working for Dumbledore was a way to punish himself for having been the reason Lily was killed. I know he later on complained to Dumbledore that he puts so much effort in being a double agent and putting himself in danger, but thats because his human selfishness was speaking out (working hard and being upset its being taken advantage of)

In a way, protecting Harry was the only reason for living for S\nape. But he didnt do it because it was truly his reason for living, He didnt see Harry as his reason for living. He did it all to make up for what he did, and sort of take revenge on himself. Not even on Voldemort. It was never stated that S\nape hated Voldemort. In fact, he never did even after he killed Lily. The only possible explanation is that Sn\ape blamed himself for her death.

Sn\ape didnt atone for anything he did with the intention to make things better: to clear Lily’s name, to save her son she loved dearly. he only chose to do it all to feed his own hatred. In the end, the only person he saw, was himself. He didnt “see” Lily, he didnt “see” Harry, Dumbledore, Voldemort.  “I am the reason she died”  “I am the one to blame” “I hate myself” “I am in pain” “It all happened to me” “Lily meant a lot to me”

Sn\ape hated himself and took out all of his hatred on everyone around him.

IF Sn\ape could see Lily’s feelings and care about them, he would have looked at Harry and wonder how Harry feels and what troubles him. If Sna\pe’s love made him try to see what was important to Lily and not only to him, he would have tried to see James and Harry in different light and maybe let go of his petty hatred towards them. He would have at least tried to open up his “black curtains” a little bit and put down his pettyness and old grudges.

Sn\ape didnt think about letting go of his grudges even if they hurt Lily. He chose to dive deeper into them and hold them close to his heart, even when he had a person who brought out the good in him. He could have a lot of reasons to act that way, he had bad past, he was bullied, and maybe all that were the factors of why he chose to put his grudges and hatred above what was important to the person whom he loved. But the fact still stands: he chose that. 

His bad past doesn’t excuse all the things he has done later on as an adult. It can be understood, but not excused. It didnt give him the right to do what he did. The reason why Sn\ape is interesting, is not because he is good or misunderstood. It is because his story is tragic and human. He is very flawed. He is selfish. He is full of grudges. he chose to stay stagnant instead of growing. That is what made him so unique. He was the tragic character that never got to change and chose to self-destruct instead. 

He wasnt like Harry, who grew and changed and healed after everything that had happened to him. He wasn’t like Ron, who chose to grow out of his jealousy and pettiness at being the last at everything. He wasn’t like Slughorn, who tried to learn from his mistake and grief and be at least braver than he used to be. He wasn’t like Regulus Black, who actually realized his faults and that Voldemort is wrong. 

His actions and motivations were purely emotion-driven. But his emotions weren’t pure. Sna\pe stands out among all HP characters because he was one of the few who didnt change as people while managing to change everything.

#deleted tags so it wont hang in the main tag #dont want it to burn the eyes of ppl from h\rry po\ter fandom

[musashi]

hi im sorry if this is too personal/has been answered already but... how did you take the anger from bad that've happened to you and transformed yourself into such a strong and confident person? im in that weird stage where im stuck between a rock and a hard place with my emotions since no one took my hurt seriously and wanna be happy despite all that shit

spite, mostly?

all of my hurt since time immemorial has been a result of my falling outs & lack of closure with other people. it is definitely difficult, because for most of that hurt, i did want them to understand how horrible of a state they left me in. i wanted the guilt to eat them alive. every person who's ever hurt me, i wanted them to absolutely writhe in the despair that they stooped so low to break another person the way i was broken. i have thought, many a night, that if only i suffered loud enough they could hear it, maybe they would feel even a little bad. maybe they would apologize, or at least elect to never hurt another person like they hurt me.

but you can't make people feel guilt for the things they've done. guilt comes from inside. regret comes from inside. it's an alchemy of the soul, something people have to reflect to and come to on their own. even if you can make someone feel sorry for what they've done, guilt isn't often productive, really. it can lead to more productive emotions, but on its own, it doesn't solve anything. it won't make a person apologize, and it won't motivate a person to not hurt others--both of those actions are decisions that can be influenced by the guilt, but ultimately come down to the content of a person's character.

so... i wanted revenge. i wanted to feel back in control. but most of the people who hurt me, either weren't good people or weren't ready to talk about why they hurt me. the only thing i could think of that would give me the satisfaction of that would be to thrive.

suffering loudly, in the hopes that they would feel bad for what they did... that suffering was a detriment to me, it made my pain my identity, something i had to stay locked into if i wanted it to pay off. but like i said, if those people never felt bad, then i suffered longer than necessary for nothing. suffering was only something that benefitted me if i could get the apologies and the closure i wanted from it, and there was a slim chance of that happening.

thriving, on the other hand? it was a much more healthy form of revenge. the revenge, of course, comes from the idea that cruel specters of my past, keeping tabs on me, did so to watch the downfall they caused. did so to watch me crumble, unaffected by any guilt (much more likely, in my head) and, by living my life to the fullest and shining twice as bright (even when i was very much lying to myself about how happy i was) i was ruining their fucking lives. i was in control, i could not be felled.

and if those people weren't keeping tabs on me? if they never had a single thought of me again? well, my revenge mission wasn't for naught, because all that joy i was experiencing is worth it regardless. in the genuine joy, i got to feel happiness and remember why i stayed alive. and in the performative joy, i was rewiring my brain to think more positively, little by little.

does that make sense? i hope it does. i know exactly where you are, i think. for me, i wanted to suffer so that people felt for me, acknowledged me. and i wanted to thrive so that people felt frustrated that their cruelty was fruitless. both are missions of revenge, but one hurts you and a hypothetical other, and the other HELPS you instead. it helps you, and it still gives you the vindicative satisfaction of getting even. it gives you that feeling for long enough that eventually, you stop doing it for the revenge, and start doing it for you.

and i know where that leaves you... "but will what happened to me ever be acknowledged? will my hurt ever be soothed?"

yes. but you can't always go looking for it in the places that hurt you. new friends will provide listening ears, hug you tight and tell you when you're least expecting it "jesus christ, fuck them for what they did to you." fiction you immerse yourself in will tell your stories that rhyme with your own and you will feel seen and serene and known in the way love blossoms within it. people who understand you will find you, with words you need to hear that you don't necessarily know the tenor of, yet. and maybe--maybe one day the people who hurt you will reach out and talk with you and tell you why it all happened the way it did. but for now, you need to do your best to carry on, to fuel all that anger you have into living twice as hard as you ever have before.

i see you. i feel you. i know it's hard. it was hard for me too. every day felt like i was barely scraping by, every breath in my lungs felt futile, like i was delaying the inevitable. i wanted so badly to make them understand, i wanted so badly to just die and write their names in the suicide note and make them live with the stain of it. i dreamt about it often, like less sad people dream of fame and fortune.

instead i wrote a novel, because i hope i become a darling of this fandom and you can't turn a corner without hearing about my work. instead i poured myself into fan content, because i don't want you to refresh your social media without seeing me. instead i grew my hair out and dyed it bright pink and finally bought glasses and drastically changed my weight, because i want you to see me on a street corner and live in the feeling of not recognizing me anymore. i changed my name. i bought new scents. i tried new clothes. i took the plunge and became everything i ever dreamed about growing up, and by the time it was all settled, i was so fucking happy with myself and my life that i didn't even think about the people who hurt me anymore. it went from i'll piss them off and if i'm happy in the process its a bonus to i'll become happy and if i piss them off in the process it's a bonus.

all i am now--all my joy and confidence and courage and grit--started as a performance piece. started as a petty, spiteful bid to make everyone who ever hurt me tear their hair out in frustration. every single breath of it was fake until it wasn't. that is the wisdom i have for you.

thrive. thrive because it's revenge in itself, and your anger will flourish and find life in it and you will feel that anger and process it and let go of it in due time. thrive to inspire others to thrive. thrive for yourself.

your hurt will be acknowledged some day, i promise. but until then i need you to thrive.

#wendy answers #anonymous #wendy rambles