#the content is just not what i’m interested in so there is absolutely no motivation to learn it

[lunaa007]

Astrology observations #1

Welcome to my first astrology observations!

I’m in no way a professional astrologer, this is purely for fun. Take only what resonates with you! I'm happy to discuss these points further in the comments :)

♦️ Leo mars live for the praise. They love words of affirmation, especially in bed 😏 They call the attention effortlessly when exercising, dancing or other mars-related activities. But they might not always like this.

♦️ Chiron 1st house can be very insecure about their appearance if they don’t work to heal this. I know someone with this placement that hates mirrors as they never liked what they saw. But it gives great potential to heal and help others regarding these issues.

♦️ Sagittarius mars people could regularly need new experiences in their sexual life. They might be open to try everything once “just to see”, and they might lean less toward monogamy than other mars placements.

♦️ Moon in the 6th house might be more sensitive to anxiety as their emotions lie in the house of daily life and routine. So they might have to deal with their emotions on a daily basis. They might need regular physical movement and consistent routines to feel regulated and content.

♦️ Pluto conjunct MC might hate posting on social media as they could feel exposed and vulnerable if they do. They might have an intense need to keep their life private.

♦️Mercury conjunct/square/opposite Pluto might swear a lot, or at least more than what they were taught was okay. If their education was very strict they might swear only when surprised, like if they get hurt or forget something.

♦️Venus in 10th house or conjunct MC can work in the fashion or makeup industry and be known for their beauty and sense of aesthetics.

♦️Saturn in Aquarius could have interest or talents in Uranian fields such as astrology or technology. They might be motivated to work towards social causes. They also could have an emotionally distant outlook on life.

♦️Lilith conjunct Ascendant create strong reactions everywhere they go. They are provocative without trying. People can get easily obsessed with them as they exude tremendous sex appeal. But they can also get very aggressive and negative reactions towards them without any reason.

♦️Mars square pluto absolutely need to channel their energy and anger into exercise and breath work. Martial arts is the best for them. If they don't control this energy it can get dangerous for themselves and even for others in extreme cases. But if they learn to control this tremendous force, they can achieve incredible things.

♦️Venus square Saturn can have a lot of difficulties with their self-worth, which affects their relationships. If you have a low self-esteem you will settle for less than you deserve. Once they have sufficiently worked on themselves and on their self esteem, they can find great love. This doesn't mean it can't come early but it might be more challenging. However, Saturn delays but never denies. They are not doomed and will find love (this depends also on other placements and aspects).

♦️Moon in Taurus can have a very calming and healing aura. People feel at peace when with these natives, especially when hugging. They are very grounded and stable, which is felt by others and is very reassuring. However, they can be stubborn at times as Taurus is a fixed sign.

♦️Mars in the 12th house could be passive aggressive sometimes as they do not recognise their own anger and never really learn how to control it. They might have sudden outbursts which can take the people around them by surprise.

♦️Sun opposite Moon can have a difficult relationship with their mother. They can feel that their mother's personality is the complete opposite of them and that they are not understood by her. Other aspects to the moon can come accentuate this or make it easier.

♦️Pisces Mars often have a talent for dancing. One of my best friends has this placement and she is a professional contemporary dancer. Her movements are so graceful, it really looks like water moving. Mars at a pisces degree (12°, 24°) can have a gift for dancing also to a lesser extent.

♦️Pluto in the 9th house can bring transformations and soul evolutions when traveling overseas, studying a higher education or moving abroad.

Thank you for reading ❤️

© lunaa007

#astro community #astro placements #astro observations #astrology #astro posts #birth chart #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #horoscope #leo placements #leo mars #pisces mars #taurus moon #lilith #pluto placements #midheaven #pluto conjunct mc #sun opposite moon #pluto in the 9th #mars in the 12th house #venus square saturn #mars square pluto #moon in the 6th house #lilith conjunct ascendant #aquarius saturn #mercury square pluto #mercury conjunct pluto #mercury opposite pluto #Chiron in the 1st house

[dreamgrlarchive]

Dear dream girl, I really want to be my dream girl but I don’t know where to start. I feel unmotivated most of the time and I only get a burst of motivation at like 3 am. I just what to glow and radiate good energy for myself and find/do what I like

Oh, So You Wanna Be a Dream Girl? 🎀

starting your dream girl journey

Congrats on choosing yourself and your tiara; I am so proud. Prepare to not be liked, to be judged, and to stand out. It’s lonely at the top.

*this guide is for starting the process, not reaching the end result because my version of my own dream girl is inevitably different than yours. bare in mind i’m not holding your hand. i’m nudging you in a good direction.

what is a dream girl?

a dream girl is a girl that has finally fallen in love with who she sees in the mirror. she’s the girl that she can depend on. she has her desired look and she’s on the path to self actualization actively. she’s aware of her branding. she holds herself to the standards she holds other to; and they are HIGH. her self worth isn’t contingent upon a love interest, amount of money, or social status. she’s simply that girl.

do some healing.

yes, i said it. healing. like i’ve said before, you cannot put glitter on literal garbage. that’s not even the slightest bit appealing. you’re gonna journal about your childhood, your biggest influences in life, your biggest fears and how you feel life has treated you. this calls for shadow work. shadow working really helped me figure out some of my toxic traits and how some of the things that were considered normal to me as a child have affected me in the long run. you’re also gonna write hypothetical letters to your loved (and not-so-loved) ones, including yourself. let it all out. say everything you want that person to know. around you or not, dead or alive. prepare to clam up, cry, get angry, feel anxious. good. you should. you feel clammy, hot and sometimes pain when your body is fighting off and healing from a physical sickness. now you’re dealing with the developmental, mental, and emotional parts. you’re doing yourself a disservice choosing to stay the same toxic, nasty, mean, or victimized person you’ve always been.

what do you want?

before you can start to even do the smallest improvements, you have to have a clear goal. or else you’ll just be running around in circles (heh) over grandiose blurry wishful thinking. ultimately resulting in you giving up and choosing to be basic bc it’s easier. what do you want out of life? how do you want to be treated? what do you want to do? what makes you happy? and most importantly, how do you want to feel? see, it’s more than just the frills and glitter. you have to know what you’re trying to get to, internally and externally.

grab a diary, adorn it with pretty little details and commit to it. pair it with your fav writing utensil. outline all of your goals. every single last one of them. you can categorize them, scale them from short to long term, easy to hard. it doesn’t matter. do absolutely what you want to do to make a concrete record of your goals that’s digestible for you.

what are you going to do?

*fabulosity by kimora lee simmons*

compare your dream reality to the one you’re currently experiencing. what is she doing that you aren’t? that’s it. do that. anyone can read blogs about the process and other people success stories but those posts aren’t gonna change your life unless you get up and go for what you want. i don’t know what exactly you desire out of life. you do. so you have the instructions for this journey. the first part was easy, this is simple but not nearly as effortless. it’s up to you and not anyone else. you teach others how to treat you. improvements you can make include better: hygiene, self talk/treatment, outward energy, work ethic, discipline, health, consumed content, relationships, looks, habits.

the work

it’s time to apply yourself. get up everyday and actively work towards your goal. be kind to yourself. take yourself to the doctors. get active. eat right. find your passion. DO THE HEALING.

everyone’s journey is SO different so i’m just going to do a quick rundown of the importance of each of the ten facets of your dream girl journey (that build upon each other. ie; looks do not benefit you when your hygiene is insufficient):

*these facets are loosely based on maslow’s hierarchy of needs

health - are you taking care of yourself? please treat yourself how you would your loved ones. you’ll be surprised how physical issues manifest mentally, and vice versa. get adequate sleep. take baby steps if need be. some of these adjustments may be huge to you. be gracious with your journey.

consumed content - everything you engage in is your diet. the company you keep, food you eat, music you enjoy. you get the idea. do you feel light and ready to take on the day? or do you feel drained and sick more often than not. make some adjustments wherever you see necessary.

hygiene - extremely important. stick to a routine for your hygienic needs. you should have rituals you engage in everyday. don’t forget that your health and hygiene go hand in hand. oral and feminine hygiene is so crazily important. please don’t neglect yourself. i talk about my routines in detail here.

habits - daily habits are so crucial to your lifestyle. adjust these and consciously break your bad habits by supplementing your life with equal and opposite habits.

self talk/treatment - simple. be kind to yourself. hold yourself accountable for flaws and mistakes while loving yourself enough to be patient with the journey of improving.

outward energy - be very aware of the vibes you’re permeating. again this is so a huge determination of how you will be treated and how you will live your life.

work ethic/discipline - it’s gonna take serious accountability to escape the desire to stay comfortable. you have to tell yourself that you deserve *your desired end result* so you will *make specific change/adjustment.* it’s that simple (again simple doesn’t mean easy).

relationships - if you don’t like the way you’re treated by those in your life, those relationships need to be reevaluated. you can make some trims on your circle, have some honest conversations, or adjust your behaviors (because sometimes, YOU are the problem).

passion and career - in order to feel fulfilled in life, we all need a purpose. discover yours. incorporate your passion into your daily life.

looks - develop your signature and hone in on it. looks are very important to your perception (self and public). check out this guide to help with this part. however you wanna feel is how you should display yourself.

be a dream girl!

you’ve discovered all the facets of creating your dream self and reality. now it’s time to apply what you’ve learned. start showing up in life in the fashion you want to be seen in.

that’s it! the rest is up to you!

- xoxo, dreamgrlarchive 🎀

#dream girl journey #my posts #dream girl cultivation #dream girl wellness

[nekropsii]

ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:

This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.

Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.

MEULIN LEIJON

People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.

ARANEA SERKET

People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.

DAMARA MEGIDO

People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.

MEENAH PEIXES

She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.

Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.

LATULA PYROPE

Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.

KURLOZ MAKARA

His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.

HORUSS ZAHHAK

I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...

PORRIM MARYAM

No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.

Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.

RUFIOH NITRAM

This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.

MITUNA CAPTOR

Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.

KANKRI VANTAS

To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.

When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.

CRONUS AMPORA

I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #damara megido #rufioh nitram #mituna captor #kankri vantas #meulin leijon #porrim maryam #latula pyrope #aranea serket #horuss zahhak #kurloz makara #cronus ampora #meenah peixes #nekro.pdf #nekro.txt

[muniimyg]

kimi's comfort fics (2023)

note: these fics are pretty "old" since most of the writers are no longer active or the fics have been posted years ago.. BUT !!! some are recent with active writers so i would 100% recommend u check out their other works nd send them love !!! that being said, i did not link the stories but i did link the writers 🫡 this way u can check out their other works nd blog in general 💅🏼✨

nevertheless, they are all masterpieces that have heavily inspire my work nd personal life because i am delulu 24/7 <3 this list consists of my core comfort fics like... y’all don’t even fcking know how much i love them

‼️ for the most part, all of these fics imply mature content !!! minors dni ‼️

smau recs

@firebettercallnct

color of your shirt (kth)

cuffed (knj)

stay and cook (jjk)

stole your shirt (jjk)

went through your phone (jjk)

these fics were the ones that made me absolutely fall in love with smaus. smt abt the style nd way the plot seamlessly depict a beautiful and lighthearted aura... ugh, it jus gets me every mfking time </3 

@kimnjss

be my baby (myg)

cyberslut (myg)

kinda hot (kth)

cherry pickers (jjk)

plot twist (knj) 

i think kez is a mastermind nd i’ve always admired her constant updates nd organization! have u seen her taglist? BRUH i could never :’) these fics rlly made me feel BUTTERFLIES i don’t know how else to describe the way kez makes these works so fcking interesting every time

headcanons

@jungshookz

stuck with you (kth)

suit & tie (myg)

hellish (myg)

basketball!captain (myg)

baby, you can drive my car (myg)

beauty & the bookworm (knj)

these headcanons literally give the serotonin boost i need. they hit so mfking good nd the energy is jus 10/10

fic recs

series and drabbles by @noteguk

bad influence: collection (jjk)

any way you want (kth)

house rules (jhs)

for science (jhs)

let me tell u... these fics were a CULTURAL RESET. god bless them nd tHE WAY NALA IS BACK??? hello. i love u so much. thank u for creating such breath-taking stories with ur incredible writing... u’re insanely talented nd i look forward to more of ur work… like fuck,, i’m so shy rn 👉🏽👈🏽

series and drabbles by @yoonpobs

with you (ksj)

back-burner (myg)

ice skating and holding hands (myg)

cold (pjm)

i absolutely went ✨ I N S A N E ✨ for back-burner yoongi. i was literally taking an accounting class (which i failed nd i have never failed anything in my life) nd thursday aka back-burner update day would literally be my motivation to mfking LIVE. i love the underlying nostalgia in these works.. i literally don’t know who i would be without these fics (i’m downplaying how much i love them arghh)

series and drabbles by @1kook

skirt chasers (jjk)

netflix & chill (jjk)

dreamy (pjm)

absolute icons. literally so well written, it’s unforgettable !!!

series and drabbles by @h0neypjm

confident (jjk)

for practice (kth)

homie hopper till i die (pjm/kth)

these are the ones that... make me feel some type of way... like… 🦋⚡️❤️‍🔥 way… yk?

series by @floralseokjin

the devil wears armani (ksj)

crystallised saga (ksj)

please be naked (myg)

i think these fics stabbed me in the heart nd the wound never healed. that’s the best way i can put it... i love anything jordan writes but these... these are litereally the bane of my existance. crystallised has so much depth in it nd i honestly feel like i’m in the story with the characters.. i’ve never experienced desperation until i read the devil wears armani because wHAT THE FUCK... pbn is... yeah. let’s just stop here..... 😪

series by @btssmutgalore

nude (kth)

bicker (kth)

benefits (pjm)

🫶🏻 ok. we need to have a conversation about nude. NUDE HAS RUINED MY LIFE. yk why? because the same way it grasps my heart,, it breaks nd makes it new. literally. like mfker rlly said “whatever u say goes” bITCHJFKJSLS IM CRYING IN THE CLUBBBBBB 🫣

series by @personasintro

mutual help (jjk)

my tiny secret

i read mh while it was jus starting.. to see how much it progressed nd how many ppl read it now is mindblowing! my tiny secret was the first ever bts fanfic i ever read... so.... YESSSS

series by @gukslut

rattled (jjk)

oh my god. this has to be my ultimate comfort fic. i’ve never read something so original nd heartbreakingly beautiful. the gradual build nd the way each character experiences nd works thru their issues... chefs kiss... i read this fic at least once a month to remember what love feels like 🥹👊🏽

drabbles by @jeonqkooks

just friends (jjk)

angel baby (jjk)

the moon, and all the stars (jjk)

this is how you fall in love (jjk)

i always see jen sharing her thoughts on my work... but bro... let me mfking tell u... her work speaks for itself. i’m so in love......

drabble by @jungkxook

let’s play: dirty (jjk)

THIS ONE IS SUCH A FUN READ. i need it injected into me tbfh. i always reread it when i’m feeling down

drabble by @angelgukks

pu$$y fairy (jjk)

can not be beat. mfking love this drabble fr

i also want to take the time to express my deepest love nd thank u to the writers who have left this platform. to the writers who have moved on nd left us with memories of their work; ur efforts nd storylines will remain in my heart forever <3

i esp loved a lover’s kiss by @hueseok​ . 

copyright © 2023, muniimyg on tumblr.  

#ask muni #🌱: kimi writes #bts social media au #bts fic #bts fake texts #bts fic rec #bts angst #bts fluff #bts drabble #bts smut #bts series

[bunni-v1]

Hii! If you request are open can I ask you a headcanon of Vil Schoenheit, from Twisted wonderland, in a romantic relationship with the reader who is a Kpop idol (not a soloist but in a group)?? Preferibly a fem reader. Thank you. Byeee!!

Vil with a K-pop idol partner

Tw: N/A (I think lol)

Info: Headcannons; Fem!Reader; Vil x Reader; Fluff

🍓Hi. This one is short and sweet, I didn’t want to drain myself of motivation to write. Especially since so many people are wanting more parts to my most recent post. Plus, I’m writing two essays for my classes this week, so it’s gonna be a bit rough to keep up that motivation. I really hope everyone enjoys this one, though. It’s always fun to do fluffy Vil content.

Vil Schoenheit

-You likely meet through an acting gig when you’re both freshmen in college. The two of you are cast as lovers, and everyone can feel the chemistry you have.

-Something between you two just clicks! You both lead similar lives and have similar interests. 

-And with the press on the movie and all the time you spend on set, it's inevitable that the two of you become close. 

-You don’t start dating immediately, though. In the world of acting and music, you have to be careful of who you’re dating and when you make that public.

-However, Vil always makes it to any shows you have anywhere near him. He adamantly promotes you and your group's music everywhere and praises any modeling and acting you do on the side.

-Fans speculate you’re together FAR before the two of you actually decide to become an official couple.

-Speaking of, the two of you keep your relationship very private at the start. You each have access to the other schedule and plan dates at least once a week, and they’re always in private places.

-It’s both to protect your reputation and to ensure that your relationship won’t be warped by fans.

-Neither of you announce that you’re a couple until at least four months in, and before that, you don’t even give hints that you two may be together.

-The press has an absolute blast with you two. Finding every thread of evidence of your relationship until the day you both announce it publicly. 

-When you do announce it, your fans gobble it up like crazy. I’m talking edits, fan art, fan accounts, the whole nine yards. 

-But all that aside, what’s your relationship like?

-Simply put: Complex.

-It’s not unhealthy by any means, it’s just very different from a typical relationship you see in day-to-day life.

-Both of you are very busy. You with performing and all that comes with it, and Vil will his college courses at Nightraven.

-It takes a lot more work than the typical relationship, but with Vil’s dedication, it all works out in the end.

-Vil always ensures that he has free time for you. Whether that be visiting you off campus, having private dates in his dorm room, or video calling after a long day of classes.

-He makes the time for you. He has your schedule memorized, and always has a workaround so the two of you can stay in contact as much as possible.

-If and when he is able to, he visits you at your shows.

-His favorite thing to do is surprise you before you go on stage, take over your makeup and dressing team jobs, and pretty you up for the crowd.

-He always says you shine more when he’s the one doing it.

-He’s always in the front row, singing along to the lyrics — even if he can’t understand what they mean.

-He knows every line to every one of your songs, and he listens to and sings them proudly when he’s alone.

-Furthermore, after the two of you go public, he’s even more intense with his promotion of your music.

-He posts himself listening/singing along to your music, buying and wearing your merchandise, and attending the concerts.

-You’d think he might be a little jealous of your popularity, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

-He always says that you’re one of his greatest inspirations, and how proud he is to call himself your partner.

-In fact, your performances were actually a huge inspiration for the VDC, and he asked you and your group for help with the choreography and lyrics.

-Speaking of your group, he makes sure he has a great relationship with each and every one of your group members. 

-If one of them is bothering you, he’ll be sure to say something, but for the most part, all of your friends really like him.

-It’s honestly not all that different from a normal relationship with him, just a little more work to keep in touch with him.

-He’s honestly your biggest fan, and he adores you and every single thing you do wholeheartedly.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader

[seakicker]

I’ve been writing for about ten years privately and publicly and across multiple different websites, fandoms, and eras of favorite characters. I first started writing fanfiction physically in notebooks I stashed under my bed since I didn’t own my own laptop until I was 18, lol. I had originally started writing as a means to cope with feeling like The Ugly Kid because I never had a serious relationship in my pre-teen and teenage years. I was always on the chubby side and, given fanfiction’s tendency to depict readers as extremely thin and physically much smaller than the character in question, I sought to make my own stuff that would, hopefully, alleviate some insecurities and give a place to people who felt similarly to me as a kid. Well, I also started writing because I was horny and hormonal and just wanted to fuck pixels, but that much goes without saying. 

I don’t think writing has much of a place in my current life for a variety of reasons and, despite what I said the other day, I don’t see it being a part of my future and I’m okay with that! It’s a hobby that has served me very, very well for nearly ten years (roughly half of my life now since I’m 22)— I’ve learned to like myself so much more than I ever thought I would have as a teenager, I’ve opened myself up to different ways to express myself and my sexuality, I’ve met a lot of really cool people, and I think I’ve been able to help other people out quite a bit, too. I always worry about coming off as overly pretentious or self-righteous when I talk about helping people through the power of porn fanfiction, but when I’ve received so many messages over the years about how I’ve helped other plus size people learn to feel a little more secure or how I’ve helped people feel less guilty about masturbating and enjoying sex, I think it’s a fair statement to make. I’ve had tons and tons and tons of good times as a writer, but I think reading these messages about helping other people are absolutely my favorite times to look back on. It makes me feel really good. 

I’m in a completely different stage of my life now compared to when I first started writing and I don’t think the hobby appeals to me much anymore. I do think the tumblr game of notes and numbers and interactions has stressed me out some, but it’s by no means my main motivation to hang up my hat and move on to a new era of my life. I don’t care about getting a bazillion notes or a million followers, I just like to be a slut online and help other people feel good about themselves in the process, but any person who makes content will be the first to tell you that it does hurt at least a little when you make something you’re insanely proud of and it gets an amount of likes/reblogs/kudos/comments/etc you find disproportionate to your follower count or subscriber count. Nevertheless, I try not to focus on numbers too much and, while I’m somewhat successful at that, I and many other writers and artists do feel that tumblr has a major problem with interaction, reblogs vs likes, and engagement and tumblr staff’s own decisions to introduce things like community labels certainly don’t help. 

As I said, numbers are not my main inspiration to quit. I’ve experienced near endless burnout since about January of this year where none of my ideas feel unique and original, none of them excite me, and nearly all of them make me worry that other people won’t enjoy them. It’s hard to want to write when you don’t feel like you’re making anything good, and, as I’m sure you all have noticed, I’ve taken a lot of breaks this year to hopefully get myself back in the swing of things, but I never return feeling refreshed and excited by new ideas, so that was the biggest indication to me that I’ve simply grown out of another hobby and I’m a changing person with changing interests and desires, and that’s okay! I’m emerging into a new stage of adulthood after graduating college and beginning to move out of my parents’ house, and so a shift in my hobbies and likes is to be expected. I had a conversation with another writing friend of mine who gave up writing publicly about six months ago, and my feelings sounded a lot like his, so that also suggested to me that I’m just ready to be done. 

I’m infinitely thankful to everyone who’s ever been a part of my writing journey, whether you reblogged a fic once or were a regular emoji anon who stopped in frequently. I really cherish the memories I’ve made and I was always insanely excited to see people claim new emojis, see regulars in my inbox talking to me, and read nice comments and messages. When I say that writing has been a pivotal part of my life for a decade now, I mean that in so many ways, especially in the way that it has brought so many cool and nice people to me. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve said and done things that hurt other people, and I’m grateful for the forgiveness and reconciliation others have given me just as I am thankful for all the people who have supported me throughout my online presence. 

I do feel guilty about leaving, but you guys deserve a proper goodbye instead of me putting my blog on hiatus again and just leaving it there to sit. I’d like to formally leave instead of just going dormant or disappearing, and this is that formal departure. I’ve had thoughts of quitting in the past, but those were when I was already feeling upset with other things in my life so I knew they weren’t real, but I’ve been thinking about this consistently for about four months now in clear mindsets and headspaces so I know it’s a little more real. I put myself on hiatus this last month to really think about it and, while it’s natural to go back and forth on such a decision and try to talk myself out of it, I really am ready and I don’t feel like I need to convince myself to stay when I’m not happy with my content. I owe you guys regularity and consistency, and I’ve failed to be a consistent writer or poster these past few months or so, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve talked about it a lot with my boyfriend and my close friends, and I feel it’s best for me to move on now and try some new things! I’m excited for this next stage of my life as I seek out a new career, look to move in with my boyfriend and get out of my parents’ place, and maybe get engaged too ☺️ 

My tumblr and AO3 will remain up with the same usernames and whatnot. I can’t even thank you guys enough for everything you’ve given me in the past years. I’m happy to call you guys friends and the “parasocial BAD!!!!!” debate that pops up in fandom circles needs to stfu because building a friendship with your audience and allowing yourself to be human with human feelings instead of some blank figure behind a screen is literally normal, lol. When people say nice things to you, it’s normal for it to feel good. When people say rude things to you, it’s normal for it to feel bad. 

Thank you for 10 years of love and thank you for reading! 

💛💛 Juju

ps think of me whenever you see pregnancy

#lots of love forever and ever and ever #so much love in my heart for you all and excitement for my future #uhh i don’t have a twitter or anything but my discord is tartagliawife if anybody wants to say hi!

[bigtreefest]

Chapter 2: Ouch, That Stings

From: You Catch More Bees With Honey Series

Pairing: Mob! Bucky x Farmer! Reader

Summary: Bucky’s first day on the farm is long. Very long.

Word Count: 3,680

Content/Warnings: light mob themes, alcohol consumption, mention of brass knuckles/ bruising, bee sting, Bucky being an absolute oaf, secondhand embarrassment, minor injuries, light mutual pining?, Y/N is used once, minimal afab reader descriptions

A/N: I just finished an exam, so obviously when I should’ve been studying, I had so much motivation that went straight into this chapter. Sorry if there’s minimal dialogue, I think the next will be mostly conversational interaction. And thank you guys so much for all the support already on ch. 1. You have no idea how much it means to me. Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks are sooooo appreciated. Literally, ask me anything. Even if it’s what I ate for dinner. Anyway, thank you for reading

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

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Bucky returned to the car with his head held high. If he had to agree to this term of yours, he was going to do it with as much defiance as he could. He opened the door to the car, just to be greeted by Steve and Sam’s knowing smiles.

“I take it that went well,” Sam said to Bucky through the rear view mirror as he put the car in drive.

“I don’t wanna talk about it” Bucky grumbled as he hit the button to raise the partition.

Steve quickly shifted upwards in his seat to give the last word before the screen closed “We knew it was gonna come to this, boss!”

Throughout the hours-long drive back to the city, Bucky got lost in his thoughts. How could he fold to you so quickly? If he had to personally work on this farm, he was going to do his worst. He wasn’t going to give into the pull he could already feel in his heart by just talking with you once. He’d keep his head down and do the work, he wouldn’t show his interest, if anything, he’d act distinterested, grasping for the ability to appear as though he had the power in this deal.

Sam pulled into the parking garage of Bucky’s penthouse apartment and the three of them took the elevator all the way up. When they arrived, Sam and Steve plopped themselves down on the couch while Bucky poured himself a tall glass of whiskey.

“So do we get some, or??” Sam asked as he leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees.

Bucky tossed him back a glare that most definitely said no while Steve laughed, putting his arms behind his head and kicking his feet up to rest on the ornate glass coffee table.

Bucky walked over to one of the luxury chairs that sat across from the pair and set his glass on a coaster on the table.

“Steven. Feet. Down.” If Bucky was still in this mood after having hours to calm down, no one was going to be having a good time.

“Sorry, Buck. You know you didn’t have to get this fancy furniture. You could’ve gotten a wooden table like mine, and a couch that’s actually comfortable.” Steve lowered his feet and got up to pour a small glass of whiskey for Sam and himself.

Bucky rolled his eyes “I like the finer things, and I think all of this works just fine. It’s not like we’re in here much anyway. We’re always in the office or the mansion for meetings. I just wanted to see this place one more time before I abandon it for a month. And if this is any indication on how you’re going to treat my things and my operation, I’m concerned”

“So does that mean we’re really in charge?” Sam nodded to Steve as he grabbed the glass out of his hands.

“Well, technically, Steve’s in charge. He’s the new me. And you’re the new Steve”

Steve chuckled at this and looked over at Sam. “Well, Stevie, we better help Y/N’s new errand boy get packed then.”

Bucky had wanted to make the drive back out to your farm on his own, but you had insisted you’d pick him up. It’s not like one of his luxury cars had a place on dirt roads. And where was he going to go, anyway? This had to be an uninterrupted month. So he conceded.

That’s how he found himself in this situation, looking out at the land as you grabbed one of his bags out of your truck bed and tossed it at him while you grabbed the other two.

The sun was setting over the rolling hills and his distracted glance caused him to stumble backwards as his duffel hit his arms. Man, you were strong. “Keep up, James, time for a house tour.”

Bucky scrambled to the steps and followed you inside. You went straight up the stairs with his bags and he followed as you turned at the top and went to the end of the hall.

“Here’s your room for the month, bathroom is just next door and I’m across the hall if you need anything. There’s plenty of dresser and closet space for your clothes. Let’s get you unpacked, I wanna see if you’ve got proper farm attire, otherwise you’re gonna have to borrow some.”

Bucky hadn’t even realized he hadn’t spoken since the small talk the two of you had made on the drive here. He just nodded and put his bags on the bed to open them up. Suddenly, he snapped out of his trance and threw them open, proudly showing clothes that were very much not for working. You walked towards the bed and looked through the pairs of dress pants and button-up shirts that filled two of the three bags, with only a couple Henleys and one pair of jeans in the duffel.

“Is this seriously what you brought? This is a farm, not a yacht club.”

Bucky let out a small chuckle at that one. She’s fiery and funny. “In my defense, these pieces of clothing are dressed down for me. I don’t really own anything not nice. Work attire for me is strictly suits. You’re lucky I own a pair of jeans.”

You had a playful smirk on your face. What did you really expect? You were prepared for this anyway, but it didn’t mean you’d let him off easily. “What, you saying my overalls aren’t nice? Wow James, that’s low. You just earned yourself dinner duty. I’ll grab you some actual work clothes while you familiarize yourself with the kitchen. Hope my apron down there is good enough to keep your designer clothes clean.”

Bucky smiled as you turned on your heel and left the room. An actual, genuine smile. You weren’t even being sweet to him, you were being challenging and strong-headed and he loved it. He reflected on the past few years of business. Everything had come more easily once he had built his reputation in the city. People feared the name Barnes, making business effortless. Bucky hadn’t been challenged like this in years. He missed it, which made him think he made the right decision, but thinking about being challenged and actually having to do the work were two very different things. The smile was just starting to naturally slide off Bucky’s face as you called from the hallway “You’ve already seen pretty much all there is to the first floor. Meet you down there” as you disappeared into the other guest bedroom.

Although Bucky had walked through the first story of your home, it had only been in passing before. Now that he got to look closer, he saw the way you decorated your house. Your couch and chairs in the living room were worn and showed some we, but they were definitely taken care of, just like the kitchen appliances. Photos of friends and family and souvenirs from travels that he couldn’t decipher were your own or not lined the walls and shelves next to a small book collection.

He made his was to the pantry on the edge of your kitchen and looked through the ingredients. He wanted to keep it simple, but impressive, but also, not something too close to his heart. He liked you as a person, but he didn’t know you like that. Whatever he made, you were going to ask questions. You were so perceptive, and he couldn’t let himself be that vulnerable. Not yet. After grabbing some pasta, he went and looked through the fridge and found the ingredients for chicken parm. Perfect, who doesn’t love that?

Once you made your way downstairs from putting the folded clothes on Bucky’s bed, you started to smell basil wafting through the house. You made your way down to see Bucky in your apron. “Wheres a scotch or a good wine to pair with this amazing meal I’m making for you. Man, this is shaping up to be real easy”

You laughed, a deep, shoulder bouncing laugh and Bucky looked at you with furrowed brown and confusion in his eyes. Oh, he has no idea what he’s in for. “Good one, Barnes. I forgot to tell you a few rules we’ve got around here. First off, no alcohol until the weekends. We’ve got some early mornings ahead, plus you gotta earn it. Second, when we do drink, it’s almost strictly bourbon and beer. Good luck finding your high-end liquor out here without getting funny looks.”

Bucky’s shoulders fell some, but you could tell he was trying not to show a reaction. His cocky smirk was fading slowly. You knew how different your lives were, but only time and work would tell how steep this learning curve would be for him. That’s why you wanted him out here in the first place, to see the vast differences between your worlds and the effects that would come from his attempt to shove his into your space. Or more realistically, for him to attempt to hijack your land and mine tunnels with his heavy operations.

He turned away from you to finish cooking while you set the table for him, putting out tall glasses of water. “Thank you for making this, James. It’ll be good to be hydrated and carb-loaded for tomorrow. I swear you’ve never seen work like this in your life.”

Bucky woke up with a jolt to screeching outside his window. What on Earth? The sound came again and he could tell it was a rooster crowing. He thought that sound was just a cliché, and even if it did happen, it would’ve been with the sunrise. But the rooster was up, and so were you, based on the smell of eggs cooking that wafted under Bucky’s door. And now, begrudgingly, Bucky was awake, too. He tried to pull the covers back over his head. Bucky was used to not getting much sleep, with the late nights and early mornings his job demanded, but for some reason the warm bed was sucking him back in, in juxtaposition to the cool early morning air. Just as he began to feel the pull of sleep again, that rooster cawed and he tossed the covers off in frustration, just as you knocked on his door.

“James? Time for breakfast. How do you want your eggs? You’ve got until I make them to be dressed and have your heinie downstairs.” You opened the door, letting in a stream of light that blinded Bucky, causing him to groan throw and arm over his eyes. How did he like his eggs? Served hours later to him in bed, where he wished he could stay right now.

“Over easy” he mumbled

“Oh good, you’re up.” You left the door open while you walked back downstairs. Of course you were already dressed. Bucky didn’t want to know what the implied ‘or else’ of your previous statement was. He hoped it didn’t have to do with scooping poop for your many animals, and he didn’t want to risk it, so he pulled on his clothes and made his way to the bathroom to finish getting ready. Little did he know, poop scooping was already in your plans for him, punishment or not.

During breakfast, you walked Bucky through the agenda for the day. He was only half-listening, still dazed by the way he was ripped out of his slumber by your darn rooster. He had picked up bits and pieces, though. Blah, blah, blah, ‘cows,’ blah, blah, blah ‘tractor,’ blah, blah, blah, ‘farmer’s market.’ It had to be easy enough, essentially he was following you all day.

By the time you two had finished breakfast and went outside, it was first light. Bucky checked the old, leather-banded watch you had given him on top of his pile last night to see the time. 5:14 am. Ugh, he’d been up for at least 20 minutes by now. How long had you been up?

“Ok, we’re already running a little bit behind schedule and that’s only gonna happen more since I’ve got to show you around and teach everything from the beginning. No worries, though. Today’s gonna be an easy day.”

A dozen heavy wheel barrow trips to feed the pigs, chickens, two kinds of cows, horses, goats, and sheep, four dozen dairy cow milkings, and three failed attempts at riding a horse later, Bucky looked up at you from his place sprawled on the ground. This was an easy day? Absolutely not. Despite the fact that he had to fall off the horse to end up in the middle of your field, laying like this was the best part of his day so far.

Who knew there were so many kinds of animal feed? Why were they all different? And why were they so heavy? Why did your one goat love head butting him so much? Bucky swore he was going to have permanent horn marks in his stomach, not unlike the ones left in his enemies from brass knuckles. And why were his clothes now covered in unpasteurized milk? Well, he knew why on that one, but it was still crusty. What had he signed up for? His body was so sore and he hadn’t sat down in six hours, so yeah, he was going to lay here on the ground. Maybe he could pretend to be dead. Maybe then this misery would end and you’d let him out of this deal. But that was wishful thinking as he cracked an eye open to see if he’d convinced you yet. Bad timing. Bucky was greeted with the sight of you leaning over him, hand reached out in an offer to get him up. Dang, every angle was your good angle.

“Alright, cowboy, one more thing, and then lunch.”

Bucky reached for your hand as you effortlessly lifted him up. You grabbed the reins of the horses, guiding them back to the barn. “I think that’s enough of that for you right now. I’ve honestly never seen anyone have that much trouble riding Ace before.”

At that, Bucky looked down, hiding his eyes from you and felt his face get hot as he rubbed his neck in embarrassment. Bucky hadn’t been embarrassed in years. He was good at his job, it came as second nature, so doing something new and failing at it was a foreign concept he didn’t love. You were being so kind with him learning, but he could tell you were just as exasperated as him. Although, you were hiding it better. If you had tried to make Bucky ride that horse one more time, he probably would’ve told you off and lost his precious deal. He couldn’t afford that.

You were trying so hard to be patient with Bucky, but was hard when you watched him do everything wrong. He very evidently had not listened to you at breakfast this morning. He had a long way to go, but luckily he had a month to figure it out. And you guys were heading to your favorite task, you couldn’t even call it a chore. Surely, this would be an easy one for Bucky.

After dropping off the horses, the two of you started walking through your native wildflower prairies towards the beehives. Every time you went through it, you were taken back by the beauty, and by the look on Bucky’s face, he was, too. Had you been looking at him this whole time? You had to admit he looked good in the old farm clothes you lent him, left behind by your old farmhand. It was all about half a size too small, though, but you’d never complain about seeing his bulging muscles stretch the fabric. Thank goodness for muscle memory as your legs carried you in the right direction, because you realized your mind had been solely occupied by Bucky as you made your way South within the property to reach the beehives.

You walked right up to the shed as you walked Bucky through all of the safety precautions of what you were doing and how exactly the honey was harvested. You explained the history of your family’s beekeeping and how the town went crazy for them at the farmer’s market you two were hosting at the end of the week. You went into the shed to get Bucky and yourself the proper protective gear.

“Now it may be a little difficult to see through the veil at first, but that’s ok. We’re not in a rush, so take your time. Plus, the bees will be calm as long as we keep pumping smoke into the hive.”

With this final warning, you and Bucky each started tending your own beehives, identifying which sections contained honey or not and setting them aside. This took a lot of multitasking and patience, which Bucky hadn’t seemed to have mastered yet, but you hoped he’d be ok. After all, this was something you’d done since you could drive a tractor, which was a young age around here. Rookie mistake on making that assumption.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a quick flash of movement. You turned your head to see Bucky swat the air. Followed by another one sooner, and then once again, until his arms were turning into a flailing mess. He’d forgotten to blow smoke and calm the bees down.

You were glad you’d sprung and made him put on the suit, despite his claims that ‘people on the internet do this without all this bulky equipment all the time. Bet it’s easy.’ Just as you thought back to that, though, in his frantic retreat from the hive, Bucky tripped over his own foot and fell flat on his face, veil flying forward off his head and several feet from the momentum he’d picked up. You both watched as a single bee fluttered down to his hairline.

“James, Bucky, I’m serious right now. Don’t move. You’re not allergic to bees, are you?”

This made Bucky stop and think for a little. Wait a minute, you didn’t know he wasn’t allergic to bees? And you let him do this task when it could’ve been fatal? He whipped his head around to tell you he wasn’t, completely forgetting that you’d told him not to move. The sudden jerk startled the bee, triggering it to sting Bucky in the temple.

“OW. Ouch, ouch, ouch, that stings!!”

You rushed over to Bucky and crouched beside him, putting the veil back on his head. You helped him up for what seemed like the thousandth time today and brushed off his shoulder.

“So you’re not allergic, right?” Your eyes were urgently looking him over for more stings and symptoms, as well as other injuries.

Bucky was fired up in his hangry and fed-up state, shooting back, “NO. But I can’t believe you let me do this without that knowledge.”

He stomped back to the shed while you cleaned up both of your stations. There wasn’t a response you could give him that would really make it better. You understood he was trying and this was all a lot. Your stomach grumbled, and rather than start a fight in your own hangry state, you decided to not respond. Plus, yeah, maybe you should’ve asked about allergies sooner. You made a mental note to do that tonight. You both just needed to eat. You could come back to this later, plus, you’d already grabbed most of the honey comb from yours. That should be enough for the market.

Just as you had prepared the honey comb to take back towards the house, you heard movement in the shed. It was the small thunks made by Bucky ripping off his gloves, veil, and the rest of the suit and throwing it back on the shelves. That was followed by a loud crash and metal clang. You could tell things had tumbled down off the wall. Bucky must’ve thrown one of the pieces a little too hard in a fit of rage.

You peeked through the door of the shed, not wanting to crowd Bucky too much, checking if he was okay. The doorway, though, was filled with a pair of old boots, attached to long legs, attached to a broad body propped up against a wall opposite the shelves. You began to snicker, unable to hold in your obvious amusement. Bucky moved his head a little to figure out where the sound was coming from, but you weren’t greeted by his eyes. No, a metal bucket had landed on Bucky’s head, entirely engulfing it. And in his fit of frustration and how done he was with the day, he just left it. Your snicker morphed into a giggle, then grew into full, guttural, hysterical laughter. You couldn’t stop. This was such a perfect moment that you had to capture it.

“Bucky Barnes? …. More like…. BUCKET BARNES!” you wheezed out in between gasps for air. Bucky sat there, bucket still on his head, but shoulders bouncing with his own laughter now. How could he not, yours was contagious, plus, that was a really clever one.

Once you caught your breath again. Bucky finally took the bucket off his head and looked up at you with a meek glance and red cheeks. “Ha ha ha, very funny. I think you’ve had your fill now in indulging in my bee-related misfortunes. But speaking about fill, is it time for lunch yet?”

The two of you headed back to the house and ate in a comfortable, exhausted silence, you writing out a simple to-do list that was more Bucky’s speed for after lunch, while he ate, using a fork in one hand, his other pressing an ice pack to his temple as his elbow rested on the table.

He sat there thinking about the fact that it hadn’t even been a day yet, let alone a month. Really, Buck, what have you gotten yourself into?

Next >

Series Taglist:

@scuzmunkie

@openup-yourmind

#bucky barnes #mob! bucky x farmer! reader #mob bucky x reader #mob bucky barnes #mafia! bucky x farmer! reader #mafia bucky x farmer reader #mob bucky x farmer reader #bucket Barnes #you catch more bees with honey #ouch that stings #sebastian stan #steve rogers #sam wilson

[elizabethh1125]

{Take it off} König x (GN) reader~

Hey guys! It’s honestly been way too long. Firstly, I want to apologize for taking such a long hiatus. Many things in my life have changed to be honest.

My age, my interests, my personal life, my job, my health and so my writing style unsurprisingly has also gone through a transformation of itself. Looking back on my old works I honestly cannot say I have read more than about three sentences before I can’t stand to look any more. It’s just so BAD. Not saying that my new shit is much better, but it’s a slow and steady uphill battle. But for some of my more consistent followers you might have also noticed the change of theme on my page. I will no longer just be catering to the community of five nights at Freddy’s. And I apologize to the folks who only stay on my page for that type of content but honestly, if I only made that type of content, I wouldn’t post here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I still love five nights at Freddy’s and will be writing more content of that eventually (I’m sure if it lol.) but it’s just not my main focus at the moment I’m sure so for now I really want to branch out to some more games/characters that I’m enjoying in the moment so you guys get more variety and so can get some more people on my page who can enjoy my work.

For this first newer post I decided to take it easy since I haven’t really written anything for a while. And I feel like the longer fics that I write are the last motivation I have to finish. So another change will be that my fix will probably be shorter one shots/ two or three parts instead of a whole series. I may also end up doing a lot of headcannons or imagines to help with writer's block.

Cod MW/MW2 has been my current infatuation, so expect a few more posts of that. Buckle up children cause we are going for a ride!

This post is a short little sweet fic about seeing konigs face for the first time. It’s simple and it’s SFW so I hope you guys enjoy it.

Tags: sfw, fluff, complements, just good ol brain rot.

Fic below the cut.

——————————

It’s hard not to notice how hot it is.

The air conditioner on base wasn’t very good anyways, but you never noticed how significant it was until you no longer had any.

As you walked down the hall you could hear some of the newer recruits here at KorTac complaining. And to be honest, you couldn’t blame them. It was difficult to bite your tongue, but as a higher rank you had to pretend everything was alright despite the sweat parading down your neck and body. It was so sweltering even your eyes were dripping.

You brushed away as much as you could with your one free while you made your way towards your colonel’s office. Your captain had asked you to deliver a few documents as per usual, so you weren’t too bothered making the trip.

The colonel himself was an interesting character. And although you weren’t able to see the pleasure of him working out in the field, he was a usual participant in helping to train the troops. And oh boy, what a sight to behold.

Firstly the man is an absolute unit. He’s over a foot taller than you, (ignore that if ur a tall person xD)

He’s built like a tank, and works out with a giant black t-shirt on his head. He was always a sight to behold out on the training course, and most of all was a very kind and experienced leader. you definitely could understand how he earned his title. as quiet as he might pose himself to be, he was a skilled and brutal fighter.

And that’s why you're so intrigued as you strut to room 106. His room. You wonder how he’s faring with the heat, especially with that unusual getup of his. You even wondered if he would have it off. It’s unlikely, but the curiosity of what the colonel might look like under the mask had you that much more excited when you knocked on his door.

You heard a grunt of displeasure from behind the door, followed by a faint “come inside.”

You twisted the knob and pulled the door open revealing a pretty uneventful spectacle.

Colonel König sat behind his desk fiddling with some papers. The soft hum of a nearby fan could be heard in the background, and you noticed he was wearing the full getup- helmet and all.

He looked up to meet your eyes before ushering you further inside with a slight motion of his finger.

you find yourself trying hard not to stare as you hand him the paperwork.

“Captain said to give these to you. More files from the new recruits. He mentioned he would be out for the weekend so He said to let you know to give him a call to his personal cell if you needed anything in particular from him.” You relayed your message from the captain and was officially finished with your service.

A sigh fell from Königs lips before he spoke “Ah yes, I remember him intending to do such. Thank you Liefermädchen, have a hopefully cooler afternoon.” He noted before he looked back down to finish his work and you spun to exit the room.

You took a few steps but before you left you couldn’t contain your burning question… literally

“I’m sorry sir, but I just have to ask…” you squeak out as you flip back around to face him.

Konig looks up again from his work and this time you can tell he is intrigued just by his eyes. He brings his built arms up to his head and gives them a good stretch before crossing it behind his neck and placing one leg over the other.

“Alright, don’t leave me waiting. Shoot.” He’s now staring intensely at you, and you feel yourself begin to feel hyper aware of the sweat now dripping down your face from your hair and even your eyebrows. You’re sure glad you happened to choose to exclude makeup from your morning routine today. No doubt it would have melted off just standing here.

“Aren’t you hot under all of… well, that ?” You question as you wave your hand all over his makeshift sniper getup. “It is almost 40 degrees outside sir. And with no air conditioning to help alleviate things… well I can’t imagine you're quite comfortable.”

“I am aware of the situation we are under,” he remarks. Now uncomfortably shifting around in his seat, “ but I’m doing alright.” He fibs.

Your going to regret saying this later, but before you can stop it, it’s already squeezed itself between your lips,

“Bullshit.”

You try to pretend you didn’t just say that to your Colonel, but the shock is clearly present on your face.

This causes the man to burst out into deep bounds of laughter, causing him to let his legs fall back into place and to unfold his arms to clutch his stomach with joy.

“You are a hilarious and very brave Herzblatt” he bellows as his laughter dies out. “ You have caught me in my fib.” He takes a moment to stand up and shrug his large shoulders under the shirt. “I am quite warm…”

“Then why not take it off? You pose to him.

“People come to my office often. To take it off, means to risk someone seeing my face.” He motions to himself as he speaks and you struggle to understand what he means.

“So? Why would that matter?” You retort.

“I’m not sure I feel quite comfortable with people knowing what I look like. Kindness has not been in my favor when people had the pleasure of looking at me without my mask.” He says, making you finally understand.

“Are you afraid people will target your looks?” You tilt your head as you move slightly closer to where the Colonel stands. How saddening that is to hear. You wonder what Konig has had to endure in the past, and your heart yearns to help him overcome his insecurity.

He looks to the floor, obviously ignoring your question,

You take this as your opportunity to breach the distance between the two of you. And the conversation suddenly feels like a mother confronting her mistreated child.

“You are the colonel of this base.” Without regard to overstepping you place your hand on Königs left shoulder. “ it wouldn’t matter if your face was so hideous it turned people into stone sir. People will respect you regardless, you are a leader here, and a leader doesn’t need to have a pretty face to still be respected. And anyways, your face probably is perfectly handsome anyways. I’ve never met an insecure ugly person.” The last two bits were a little overboard but you made your point regardless.

He smiles under his mask with your words to him. He couldn’t believe you were giving him a chance to feel a little better about himself, plus the idea of finally being able to strip himself of his personal sauna would make his job a little bit easier.

“I don’t suppose you would take it off just for a little while? I’m sure it would help cool you down.” (That was a lie) nothing would cool either of you down without air conditioning in this sweltering heat.

König pauses for a moment, and he contemplates what unveiling himself to you would mean to him. suddenly, it feels much worse that you would be the first to see him. He knows you probably wouldn’t judge, but something about it being you that just made him feel…Flustered.

He wanted to say no, but before he could protest you pushed at him again, this time trailing your hand to the bottom of his mask and tugging on it gently.

“Please. Just in front of me? I promise I’ll play nice.”

That last sentence made his head spin. Were you flirting with him?

No.. you can’t be? Can you?

His heart began to speed up to a pace so quick, he worried you might be able to hear it pounding in his chest.

“Okay.” He affirmed, unclamping his helmet and pulling the hood off to reveal his balaclava.

You felt the anticipation begin to boil inside of you as he brought his hand to his hood and firmly pulled it off of his head, not giving himself any time to process that he was revealing his face to you.

When he finished pulling his head out and tossed his balaclava to the side with the rest of his gear, you can’t help but feel your jaw drop.

He was stunning.

His hair was brown and curly, and falling to his shoulders. His face was chiseled, and covered with rough stubble. He adorned battle scars like medals and his lips looked so supple and soft.

You couldn’t imagine why he felt the need to coward himself away under a mask for so long. He was beautiful.

Your silence must have begun to worry him, as you noticed he had broken eye contact and was looking towards his balaclava.

You quickly realized that and gained his attention with a tap to his shoulder. You both had forgotten you were still sitting your hand there.

“So how do I look?” He questioned nervously. And your words couldn’t have been more perfect to him.

“I think the temperature of the room just shot up a million more degrees.”

——————————————————————————

An:

For all my visual learners here is my favorite depiction of what I believe Konig looks like under his mask. Of course all credits to the artist! (NOT MY ART) Please go to their post and like it. Also I’m not posting the actual picture to my post to respect the artist’s wishes of no reposts. Just go to the link stinkies and I will see what I mean okay-byeIloveyou!

https://www.tumblr.com/gildedskully/703578007597678592/face-reveal-i-just-think-hes-neat-rbs

(Please read)

Should I do a part 2 where things get a little… spicy?

I very well might. The temptation is greatly building in me.

Anyways for now that is all. I hope you're enjoying my newer writing style and are not disappointed in my branch out to other fandoms. As always I very much appreciate any support I get. It makes my day when I see people comment or like my posts. It’s unfathomable to me that people actually read my shit writing- 💀

Oh and, Btw if you have requested any fics from me I will get into writing those hopefully soon. I know my hiatus looked quite gloomy and long, but I’m back for now. Me taking long breaks is honestly just how I am as a person. I always come back though. Life gets busy, and I’m an adult so other adults understand the struggles of juggling jobs, life and hobbies. Even if I am gone my fics are still here for you to enjoy. Rather If that’s ten days from now or ten years, I hope you’ll enjoy them just the same.

Thank you.

-Elizabeth

#cod mw2 #cod mwii #könig mw2 #konig cod #konig x you #konig call of duty #konig x reader #konig mw2 #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #könig x reader #könig x you #gender nuetral reader #call of duty #cod fanfic #cod modern warfare #cod mw x reader #cod mwf2

[sencity]

yan! botanist content? i am eating this up, we are so well-fed. but dare i present, yan! botanist x entomologist darling?

hear me out… as a botanist, he does happen to dabble in fieldwork from time to time. prior to meeting you, he’s always gone out alone, but that won’t be necessary anymore, not with you around of course. and, oh, how perfect it is that you too, partake in nature research.

conducting fieldwork with him is so wonderful! he’s so knowledgeable, and surprisingly even a bit in entomology; plants and insects are crucial for their environment and one another, you know. he’s showing you all the beautiful flora, even informing you about their histories and roles in the ecosystem. while you’re studying the insects, he offers to help catch them in jars for you! no matter how many bug bites he gets, it’s all worth it for you. and how his heart swells with absolute love and adoration when you patch him up with bandaids and kisses afterwards.

nothing beats bonding over two people’s passions that co-exist perfectly–– especially when you’re in a grand field, of tall grass and little visibility, miles and miles away from any type of civilization; no one to bother the both of you, no one to take you away from him, just you two.

RAHH this man has awakened something in me…

you don’t understand how i’m tittering in my covers reading ts. my mind FLOODED with ideas bro. just… let me add onto this thought. your mind is WONDROUS.

nightmare fuel: none, unfortunately. except me not proofreading.

sen’s statement(s): link to the rest of my yandere!stinkers, let alone the yandere!botanist because why not?

it was a given that mother nature had finally answered his prayers; of course his love interest has an adoration towards insects! could life get any better!? insects are essential to plant life and vice versa. it’s the universe telling you that he needs you, and you need him! the two of you will soon flourish under each other’s love, why wouldn’t you become the butterfly to his pistil?

although you’ve forgotten about the times when he’d try to act cool for you or a little uncharacteristically, he surely goes out of his way to assist you on your projects. whether it’s collecting blister beetles in jars for your research despite the seething pain emerging in his palms or leading you into secluded fields to chase butterflies with wings that match the colors of your guys’ eyes, he’ll be there! still, you do tend to question his motives when he asks what a certain flower reminds you of and comes up with some poetic, philosophical answer to impress you. jeez, save it for the yandere!poet…

“is that right? hm, i’d assume that wisteria reminds you of your dreams… or that little starfish you’re so fond of—”

“the ochre sea star! yes, they’re nowhere near as perfect as you, but they’re lovely—oh! or plums and grapes! i love purple!”

there’s the sencha you love, the one who rambles about his simplistic passions and dislikes since he’s easily (dis)pleased. you’re here to listen to them all, even if they’re a little irrational and aimless like stick bugs…

goddamn, he can’t stand stick bugs.

even though he alters his personality to your liking sometimes (and fails horrifically, of course) he sometimes manages to appeal to your interest… by being himself. there was a time when you fixated on fireflies, wanting to study the patterns and language of their little light bulbs or what genetics causes some lightning bugs to not glow. sencha of course ran with this information and wanted to help to his best ability by insisting on you to sit your pretty self on the porch while he fetches a few for your research. you weren’t too fond of the idea of him doing the job for you, also potentially taking the fun out of it, but you allowed it this once…

you were going to go retrieve him since it seemed that he disappeared, but it just took him so long to collect so many. you would think he used the jar method again but decided that that’s not enough to truly get you to believe that he loves you, therefore he attracted fireflies with his bare hands…

…by coating his hands and forearms with sugar water in order to please the ravenous lightning bugs. primary his sticky hands were coated with tiny gleaming lights since he started off catching them with his palms, and it’s only natural for the rest of them to follow in pursuit.

“i uh, made a few friends along the way…?” he would titter unsurely as his arms expressed ethereality. he was referring to the random moths or flies that were also interested in the treacly treat, but that was the last thing you were fixated on since you were ordering him to not move so you could take pictures…

the two of you were truly an inseparable duo, a nature fusion much like leaf bugs or orchid mantises…

while we’re on the subject of orchids, the flower is one the both of you are very fond of, even though the both of you are suffering from a silly case of synesthesia.

when y/n hears the word orchid she sees a fuzzy yellow that resembles a bumble bee ever so faultlessly. she could never forget how he managed to get his hands on a bee orchid just to prove that his field of study compliments yours greatly. his point has only been proven even more when you giddily bring up that “orchid mantises” exist somewhere in the wild…

when sencha reads the word orchid, your honey-imbued lips drip onto his taste buds which awakens his sweet tooth and sends him into a sugar rush. you were a gift from mother nature, handcrafted by the goddess psyche herself. he even grew different species of orchids just because he cares for the flower so much!

normally you would adulate the bed of vibrant orchids and laborious pollinators that sprawled across the fields while pondering about those simple facts, whereas he would adulate you like how the tides adore the sand. it’s very hard to wrap around that the two of you were a match-made in heaven; he was sure to make you his once the fireflies began to coruscate …

#☪︎︎ sen’s submission #sencity #this idea is so fucking sweet #damn sure wanted to make a drabble #tw: yandere #yandere #yandere concept #yandere headcanons #obsessive yandere #yandere imagines #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x willing reader #yandere x you #yandere ocs #male yandere #yandere x gender neutral reader #yandere male #yandere male x reader #i fucking LOVE MY MOOTS #yandere x y/n #yandere character #yandere love #clingy yandere #obsessive love #nsft concept #yandere content #yandere community #yandere core

[striderl]

I have a general art-related question, if that's okay. I admire how _quickly_ you seem to be able to produce art -- whenever someone sends you a character-based ask, you seem to always answer it with a nice little picture (not just a scribble or something) with lineart and often colouring too! Do you have any advice for acquiring art stamina like that? I used to enjoy drawing, but got burnt out on it because every piece felt like so much WORK and it drained the enjoyment for me. I absolutely could not match the output you do!

Thanks for the compliment, lensman! Your drawings are equally cool too! I'm engrossed in the textures especially. And yes, sometimes I’m even amazed by the many asks I’m able to answer in a single week. Usually, I answer them within 3 days, in rare occasions, it may take me 2 weeks or so to answer them.

As for insights, there you go.

#1: Practice is the key. To not get art block, you need to be constantly practicing, like doing scribbles on your sketchbook when you have time. It can be anything, from basic shapes to “whatever you can spy with your little eye”. Also, improve your speed while doing it, and limit your time to finish an acceptable rough draft, so you won’t lose the motivation to finish the entire drawing.

#2: Mastery. READ THE MANUAL AND INSTRUCTION of whatever platform you are using to make art, and master the tools, so you won’t drag on too long on a single project. Personally, I use a mixture of Procreate and ibisPaint X to make art and comics. And the skills don’t come for free, you need to constantly learn new features in order to keep up the pace and limit the time you spend on each project. Honestly, I think I spend more time on Youtube, Pinterest, and Instagram scavenging art tips and resources than doing other things with them. The result is rather rewarding, the knowledge I gained about the color wheel, anatomy, and platform features like multiply and overlay are really helpful.

#3: Reference. I always have available anatomy or art references on my side, usually from Pinterest, so I don’t need to waste time speculating what the result would look like. I also collect references I’m interested in whenever I have time, so I’m well prepared whenever I want to start a new project.

If you want to check it out, this is the cover I made for Foley’s playlist, which I finished within 3 hours.

#4: Motivation. You need to truly enjoy the process of producing art in order to not get an art block. I think I never get a single art block period so far. Why? It’s the only way I get to relieve my anxiety. College can be really harsh sometimes, I have a really small social circle, and on top of that I need to deal with stress which most of my peers don’t even need to worry about, like managing an apartment, doing accounting on my own, taking care of electric bills, and more. What’s worse is that people can be massive suckers sometimes, and I just turned 18 a few months ago. I know I can’t just throw a tantrum or jump off a building whenever I feel stressed, so I just move on and focus my attention on doing better in art. If people want to insult me, I just insult them back with my talent.

Also, I mentioned this in my reblog to your Skibidi Toilet anniversary post. My parents don’t approve of me doing art like this, because it’s “unrealistic” and basically “useless”, I just want some space where I can express my creativity. Ironically, defiance can be a motivation sometimes.

Plus, I just purely enjoy the feeling of sitting in my room, listening to my favorite playlist, and sipping on a cup of hazelnut matcha, while doing art. And I always, ALWAYS appreciate people putting comments in their reblogs, it’s like an accomplishment, and it shows that people really check out my content and READ IT, instead of “wow, cool art”.

If I don't feel like doing art, I'll just go for a 5 miles run instead. Physical health is still important : }

#Ask #lensman-arms-race #Art advice

[betterfettered]

Hiii there 😚💌💌

If the requests are still welcome then I wonder how would a character your choice of: Lucifer/satan/diavola would disguise(?) their yandere tendencies. Like a scenerio where they pretend everythings domestic and nice when its obviously not

Thank you in any case :)

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and abuse is disgusting and inexcusable in real life.] Hi there yourself!

This is such an interesting question! Assuming that you mean trying to disguise it to other people, I actually think that because of the particular brand of weirdoness that these three have, they actually wouldn’t see a…need to disguise it? Hahahaha wait hear me out!! Like in yandere!Lucifer’s case, he has already decided (without your unnecessary input) that the two of you are going to marry. If someone questioned the way he was treating you, I imagine he’d explain that it was perfectly normal for a husband to instruct his spouse in proper decorum, such as never leaving his sight (ever). He’d explain that there isn’t a double standard, either, and you could instruct him in etiquette as well if you wanted to. That would actually be true – even if you told yandere!Luci to do something ridiculous or fussy, as long as it didn’t conflict with his expectations for you he would absolutely do it, being your dutiful and loving husband. He is devoted to you in that way. If someone brought up your apparent unhappiness, he would say it’s just you getting used to the devildom, and if they protested further he’d inform them that he simply does not care about their opinion.

Diavolo in general doesn’t have a lot of experience with his whims being obstructed, so he’d probably be surprised by someone questioning your relationship. At first he’d just be kind of bemused, but then he’d think about it in terms of his public image, and want to make things appear wholesome and stable. The thing is, yandere!Diavolo is always really ecstatic to be around you, because even if you’re upset or silent your presence makes him feel whole and loved. So things that seem bizarre to other people, like you sitting across his lap during tea, shaking with stress and fear beneath the suffocating amount of silks he always has you draped in, would seem like heart-warming romance in his eyes. It’s fine if you’re a little nervous – if he just has a little patience, and drowns you in a little more TLC, you’ll be back to your normal happy self in no time.

Barbatos knows how delusional he is but only looks at you like “wow u hate to see it” LOLL

Satan doesn’t really recognize when he gets too angry and flies off of the handle, like you can see in the Be You Devilgram, so he is another one who wouldn’t even realize that the way he treats you would be horrifying to other people. If someone brought it up, his main thought would be that it’s bad manners to make a scene like that, so he’ll try to keep the unsavory stuff with you private. If you start making him angry in public, he’ll just leave instead of retaliating in the moment. This would not be because he thinks its wrong, though, and if someone asked him about your relationship he’d be pretty honest about what it entails. If someone started telling him that he was wrong for doing so, he’d just fly into a rage at them instead.

Unlike the other two, though, I think Satan has enough self-awareness (?) that people saying he’s horrible to you might make him feel insecure about your relationship. He might arrange a date for the two of you, and blushingly tell you how much you mean to him. It probably wouldn’t be very effective but he also may try to treat you better. Still, what other people think wouldn’t motivate him to try and put up a bluff in front of them.

Do you agree? Disagree? Think I’m a big dummy???

By the way, if you meant trying to hide it to convince their darling that they are normal and not at all seven slices of deli roasted chicken short of a sandwich (what do you mean that’s not an expression!? I can say whatever I want!!!!!), you can ask again! Send meeee more requests and asks 🙇🏾‍♀️

#betty fetty #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #satan x reader #lucifer x reader #diavolo x reader #yandere lucifer #yandere satan #yandere diavolo #yandere #yandere x reader

[dr3amofagame]

on c!dream and the revolution

(aka: holy shit this is going to be a bit of a mess but hopefully something in here is coherent) 

c!Dream and the L’manburg Revolution has weeeeeell kind of been talked to death, but that’s not for no reason. The L’manburg Revolution has a huge impact on the entire story for the rest of the timeline and a huge impact on c!Dream in particular--he himself references the final deal for the discs quite a few times just on his own in later parts of the timeline, not to mention the entirety of inconsolable differences being a callback to the revolution (and to vassal, but everything’s a callback to vassal when you have dream, tommy, and wilbur in a room.) The Revolution is what forms the foundation of the L’manburg mythos which then forms the foundation of so many conflicts in the server--especially involving c!Dream, as L’manburg’s villain-tyrant-monster-lizard-snake-thing in particular. 

Even so, a lot of people tend to have a lot of different opinions on c!Dream’s motivations during the Revolution. This post is meant to be an exploration of my thoughts on the matter (forgive me for the lack of actual timestamped sources I’m lazy) especially regarding three main points:

1. c!Dream had specific in-universe reasons for going against L’manburg that are referenced before the revolution and after it 

 2. c!Dream went to war with L’manburg because he largely thought that it was inevitable 

 3. c!Dream went into the war with L’manburg knowing that he would concede to c!Wilbur in the end and give them what they wanted

To start with point 1), I’ve seen it pretty commonly asserted that c!Dream didn’t actually have a particular reason to fight in the Revolution in-universe and his actions can be explained away by the ccs/actors knowing that an actual war would be the best For Content. And while I agree that the “for content” angle is an important angle to consider when we speak about this conflict, especially considering the roleplay as it would come to exist wasn’t really as established of a construct yet, to say that c!Dream had no in-universe motivations at all is...a gross oversimplification, especially when these people are often the same ones that I see taking L’manburg’s stated motivations of Peace and Freedom and Liberation at face value. 

I think there's a lot of debate on a lot of different factors surrounding the revolution, but I also think it's important to consider that like, while obviously the rp wasn't quite as developed at that point in time, that doesn't mean that c!Dream was played as a character without any motivation at all. For example, in that first conversation between c!Dream and c!Wilbur [x], I think it's important to note that c!Dream 1. expresses doubt abt c!Wilbur's whole schtick with L’manburg and DOES seem genuinely peeved by c!Wilbur's arbitrary rule setting and whole "we're doing this against tyranny" deal, even though he does make a pretty deliberate point of FOLLOWING the rules that wilbur sets (until he breaks one (1) leaf block as an expression of rebellion, which is in itself very interesting) and 2. very deliberately calls out c!Wilbur's whole L’manburg deal as something he's unsure of as being something that the people in L’manburg actually want and agree with--see his asking c!Tommy and c!Tubbo if they actually want to “totally break off from the SMP and are okay with L’manburg and never leaving L’manburg again”, as c!Wilbur had just stated (paraphrased, but anyway), and then obviously taking note of both c!Tommy and c!Tubbo's doubt afterwards.

From the very beginning of L’manburg's conception, I think it's fair to say that c!Dream has Visible Doubts about c!Wilbur's whole schtick that served as a foundation of its creation. Were those ideological differences the sole driving force behind his decision to go to war? No, absolutely not. c!Dream was not fighting the revolution just in an effort to idk, ~save~ the L’manburgians or anything I’m not trying to say that. but c!Dream does, from the very beginning, take issue with the specific division that c!Wilbur created. He prods at c!Wilbur's claims about a separate server with separate rules. He specifically asks if c!Tommy and c!Tubbo are okay with "L’manburg and only L’manburg" as c!Wilbur seemed to be implying was all they needed. He STARTS the conversation considerably more lighthearted than at its end--the first thing he says about L’manburg is a fucking dick joke, for god's sake. There's even something you can say about c!Wilbur making rules and then SHOWING dream that the rules are arbitrary, because before dream makes a deliberate Point of breaking the leaf block to symbolize his irritation with L’manburg's rule setting and the whole idea of L’manburg in the first place, c!Wilbur states that they really respect the foliage of the place and want not a single block out of place while breaking leaves himself! 

And of course, we all know about the table speech. There are arguments to be made about server ownership and entitlement that have been discussed before and could be touched on here, but once again--c!Dream's issue was about the division created. Not the usage of the table (or, on the server, the land) but the claiming of it as someplace “Separate.” When he expresses that everyone can use the table, he's not against the idea of individual or community ownership in itself, as can be clearly seen by the amount of properties on the server that belonged to one or more people. However, what he WAS against was the idea of people claiming a piece of land as their as in, their server, which meant that they could set whatever rules they wanted on it no matter the detriment to other people on the server. which is exactly what was done in L’manburg. It wasn't about the ownership, it was about claiming a part of a house As Their Own House because by stating that L’manburg was a "separate" server, they could also come up with whatever rules they wanted. such as pvp-is-off-so-take-off-your-armor, and you're-not-in-the-whitelist, etc. 

And like, again. I think people can have different perspectives and opinions on the table speech and how right he was and whatever, but like the table speech was NOT long after the revolution, and dream made it plenty clear that people could use the land at will before L’manburg’s creation. Hell, AFTER the revolution people could still y’know, kinda use the land at will, when he could've (according to c!Wilbur's original plans and words) restricted L’manburgians from leaving L’manburg. And again this is explicit--c!Dream says it himself to c!Skeppy in the table speech, and we see how everyone was using the land however they wanted at this point in time as well. 

And i think like, later on, when the characters are more established, every time c!Dream talks abt L’manburg makes it pretty clear that he was fighting abt it for more reasons than just "well he felt like fighting shit." He clearly dislikes L’manburg and disagreed with the division it created fundamentally. Obviously, the way you interpret all of this can be pretty different ,, but I think it's always been pretty clear that c!Dream does like. Disagree with L’manburg from the very beginning at the very least, and that goes into his decision to eventually go to war with the place.

Still, though, I don’t think these ideological differences are the most important reasoning behind his decision to fight in the Revolution in the first place. Which brings me to point 2), which is to say...from c!Dream’s perspective, honestly, war felt pretty goddamn inevitable?

From c!Dream’s perspective, he had no reason to believe that L’manburg wasn’t gunning for war. Honestly, he has every reason to believe the opposite? The FIRST time he interacted with L’manburg it was to c!Wilbur goading c!Tommy to shout “war words” at him. They were dressed in army uniforms. The entire side of L’manburg was allegedly built on a foundation of opposing c!Dream. They clearly didn’t shy away from conflict, considering their actions the day before had been basically trying their best to scam the shit out of people on the server and ending up chased down for their efforts. The ideals of L’manburg being this idea of like, Injustice and Freedom and Liberation From Oppression does not paint the idea of them being like willing to patiently come to a compromise or engage c!Dream in good faith like, at all. When c!Dream actually comes to L’manburg to try and have a discussion, c!Wilbur makes it plenty clear that compromise isn’t going to be an option, acts like L’manburg’s legitimacy is an assured thing, uses his act of legitimacy to impose on c!Dream’s behavior (mostly by inventing all kinds of arbitrary rules for him to follow until the ‘don’t touch our foliage’ makes him lose his patience and leave). None of this suggests any willingness for L’manburg to actually make concessions or compromise. 

And that, in itself, limits c!Dream’s options. If he concedes, then he’s folding to external pressure without putting up a fight, which sets a precedent. Again, from his perspective, c!Wilbur is a total stranger! He’s this guy that he’s literally never met before that managed to turn half of c!Dream’s server--as in, friends and acquaintances and neighbors--against him in a “country” that is explicitly founded in opposition against c!Dream by someone he knows nothing about. A country that has framed itself as existing directly against what c!Dream wants, has referred to him as a tyrant, and has turned this idea of fighting against him into a moral issue--limiting their willingness to backdown or compromise in any way whatsoever. No matter whether or not c!Wilbur was actually gunning for war, c!Dream had every reason to think that that was the intention--they wrote a Declaration of Independ(a)nce, for god’s sake. Obviously this is getting meta but if they’re making relentless comparisons to Hamilton Act I which is...entirely about a war, that’s hardly a point in favor for them actually just wanting to sit down at a table with some tea to talk things out. (Not to mention how they run onto DreamSMP land to attack c!Alyssa as a unit like, right after all of this.) 

As far as c!Dream is concerned, giving L’manburg what they want at this point without putting up a fight, just rolling over and showing his belly to their every demand is...dangerous? He’s facing a group of people that include people that, again, he’s lived with for months who have suddenly decided that standing against him is some kind of moral statement, who are slandering him and calling him a tyrant. He’s being talked about like some kind of dragon to slay--of course he’s not particularly inclined to just give them what they want. The Revolution establishes DreamSMP as people you don’t want to fight. c!Dream establishes himself as someone that you should think twice about antagonizing. And we know this works because c!Wilbur does get more cautious after the Revolution--he’s not quite as willing to go against c!Dream as directly as he was when he literally showed up out of nowhere to call c!Dream a tyrant. Through the Revolution, c!Dream successfully discourages another war in the future by making it too costly for L’manburg to pursue the next time they want something out of DreamSMP (which wouldn’t necessarily be the case if he just conceded the first time around, considering as far as c!Dream is concerned, L’manburg’s initial reaction to wanting something w/ their whole “independence” schtick was to make war preparations). Instead of seeming like a pushover, which in his mind possibly could’ve emboldened c!Wilbur further, he establishes himself as someone fair (see: his insisting on listening to L’manburg’s rules even during the literal war, not entering into L’manburg’s borders to plant the TNT, something they both concede, as well as during the intimidation campaign w/ c!Sapnap) but intimidating as an opponent. 

All of that being said, though, it’s worth considering that c!Dream does, in effect, give L’manburg what they want in the end. Which is part of what I want to consider with my final point here: c!Dream always knew that he was going to give L’manburg independence. 

And this is a fact! We know this because during the preparations for the war, in Punz’s L’manburg Revolution videos, we see c!Dream stating that he will give L’manburg technical independence before the war even begins. Which i find. Fascinating. Because like obviously given c!Dream's strategic ability (final control room + just general preparation wise), obviously Dream SMP was at a great advantage. (Interestingly enough, I will NOT actually argue that PVPwise they actually outranked L’manburg by THAT much. When the war was declared, it was actually a 3v5, considering c!Eret had not yet defected and c!George had not yet joined DreamSMP's side. This was at the same general time where c!Fundy and c!Sapnap, who would later be a formidable opponent against Dream and Technoblade alike, were about evenly matched in a PVP duel! Like DreamSMP would've still likely panned out on top in terms of straight up PVP, but it would've been a much closer battle with a much higher chance of loss of life on the DreamSMP side.)

On that same note, i think it's interesting to note (if you watch Punz's pov of the revolution videos) HOW CONCERNED c!dream was the ENTIRE time for any losses on his side. Like this guy was freaking out if someone on the DreamSMP like got hit by an arrow kind of concerned. He was worried about c!Eret in the crossfire of the final control room. Honestly speaking, he probably lost more hearts from that goddamn poison pot than like the entirety of the DreamSMP side during the war. L’manburg was during a time where Tubbo and Tommy could reasonably defeat Dream in a 1v2, given certain situations, and there was that whole Dream versus Tommy, Tubbo, and Sapnap 1v3--but that's when Dream way outgeared them and he WAS worn down and DID lose.

(Compare to like much later on where Dream could like 50/50 1v3 people in full diamond with nothing but an axe and shield.)

And whether or not L’manburg actually like, could’ve outgeared or outpvped DreamSMP (which. I mean. Like, c!Tubbo had villagers--from experience, it really doesn’t take that long to get decent enchants + gear from villagers even if you’re just one person, just go to town on a bunch of trees for a couple hours), the idea of L’manburg as a threat doesn’t even matter as much as whether or not c!Dream saw them as a threat. I feel like I’ve seen a lot of opinions on this matter that boil down to “well clearly L’manburg wasn’t a threat so clearly c!Dream didn’t see them as one so clearly fighting L’manburg was just about killing people for his own ego” which...absolutely contradicts how c!Dream himself faces this conflict. I think it's fair to say that based on his words and actions, c!Dream did see them as a significant threat to his/his friends' safety in the war. He has backup plans upon backup plans, he's very anxious about the DreamSMP side’s health bars throughout the revolution, he specifically worries about them losing health and dying in the final control room like. Many times.

All of that being said, c!Dream goes into the Revolution knowing that he'll have to grant L’manburg independence, specifically because he knows they wont give up. He says this very explicitly. And like, I think it's like. again. Important to note that c!Dream could've like forced L’manburg into a corner by like idk repeatedly spawnkilling them, or sieging them, until they give into his commands or whatever right. Like it was a war. He definitely could've forced them to surrender on his terms.

HOWEVER, what we actually see is c!Dream repeatedly calling them to surrender at like every possible turn. Before the war, during it, whatever. White flags was an obvious attempt to intimidate, but at the same time you can only demand someone to surrender so many times before you're showing your hand.

And it’s like--war, when you boil it down a Lot, is basically an extended game of chicken. This is very oversimplified, but at the end of the day what matters is that you have to decide how far you're willing to go and how far the other side is willing to go and figure out if you're willing to accept the necessary losses. And it's also important to note that from c!Dream's perspective, L’manburg was never going to give up.

Whether or not that is true is once again, debatable. But from c!Dream's perspective WE CAN SEE that c!Dream thinks that c!Wilbur + co. were never going to give up. With the retroactive addition of canon lives then yeah you could probably state that c!dream thought that they were going to keep going even if it permakilled them. c!Wilbur makes the "we would rather die" speech after the final control room. Obviously retroactively applying things like canon lives gets finicky (and believe me, I DONT LIKE IT EITHER,) but if you're going to retroactively apply the final control room as killing all of L’manburg in order to essentially end the conflict in one blow instead of simply removing their gear as was the explicit goal of that ambush, then yeah, I think it's fair to apply the same statement of canon lives and their full ramifications on what c!Wilbur says here as well. c!Dream enters a war he knows that he will, by a matter of speaking, lose--because at the end of the day, he wasn't willing to go as far as L’manburg., From his point of view. he was not willing to keep the war going when lmanburg was, because L’manburg stated that they wouldn't give up (and he PREDICTED they would state that they wouldn't give up) no matter what the cost. 

So he very literally puts his life on the line (when doing so shouldn't have been necessary otherwise because like, he was winning the war) because he was willing to end the conflict at a great personal cost to himself. Why? Why would c!Dream decide to risk his life to participate in a duel that could literally nullify EVERYTHING he did so far in an instant in the war by literally granting L’manburg independence? And then, after winning the duel, why grant L’manburg independence anyway? If tommy won that duel (which he EASILY could've -- it was a 1v1 bow duel when both people were one-shot), then L’manburg would've won the war. Hell, EVEN AFTER THEY LOST THE DUEL, they stated they won the war for a long time. c!Dream could've fucking annihilated them!! They had no supplies. Why grant them "technical independence" ??

Like, what, all of this for the discs? The discs really did not matter that much at that point in time--the disc war had been over, for god’s sake-- and c!Tommy would literally blackmail him to steal ‘em back like less than a month later. And, like, there was really nothing stopping him from demanding the discs as reparations for the war anyway. What was L’manburg gonna do if he just enforced the borders and kept killing them unless they gave him shit yk? L’manburg got soundly beat in a war! c!Dream had no reason to put his own goddamn life on the line to give them A POTENTIAL SHOT AT VICTORY. 

The only reasoning that makes sense for c!Dream here is the reasoning he himself gives for basically every decision he makes in this war, from the demands to surrender to the Final Control Room to the agreeing to the duel to the granting them technical independence for the discs even after c!Tommy lost the duel. And that’s that he knew that they wouldn’t give up. Before the war began, c!Dream knew that he would have to give them independence. At the time, the justification was likely along the lines of well, he couldn’t permanently kill them because it’s MINECRAFT, so they would’ve just kept dragging the conflict out until he gave in. With the retroactive addition of canon lives, though, his hesitance reads much more along the lines of being generally unwilling to go through with killing L’manburg entirely during the war, which demanded that he make the concession of giving them what they wanted. 

And, again, this is all from c!Dream's perspective. Whether or not all of this is like, True objectively is a different matter. Would L’manburg have surrendered if he didn't give them a way out and kept pressing? Would c!Wilbur have stopped before everyone on his side lost all their canon lives? Maybe. But from c!Dream's perspective, the only way to end it was to grant them the independence they wanted (even you know, in the bastardized form that it was, not that it mattered because L’manburg ended up being treated as an entirely independent and separate entity ANYWAY but I digress).

So that's what he did.

And, of course, this paved the way for the rest of the story. The mythos of L’manburg was established. It all goes back to these decisions on both sides, in a lot of ways--the discs, c!Tommy and c!Dream and the duel on the path, c!Wilbur overseeing, heroes and villains and revolutions and tyrants. In a lot of ways, this is where things began to unravel, this is the story that would take until the (c!discduo) Finale to address and dismantle. c!Dream’s reasonings behind his decisions in the Revolution are logical, complex, and consistent with his character and motivations--and they’re also, in a lot of ways, his undoing. 

#c!dream #dreblr #c!dream and the revolution #c!dreamisms #<- gonna be my new tag for just. crying abt c!dream ig #c!dreamburisms #gonna be my new tag for . Thoughts On Them. ig #this is one (1) repurposed discord rant of many #long post #this isnt even the whole rant ALSDKFJAS #but yeahhhh c!dreamisms. C!DREAMISMS #sorry for bringing up the revolution AGAIN #in my defense this was bc i saw more shitty revolution takes

[tklpilled]

sweet talk

(midoriya, todoroki)

summary: midoriya is not nearly as innocent as the others think he is.

a/n: i actually had a fic planned out for this but i lost motivation for it and ended up deleting it and writing this in a few hours so its not my best work. for the prompt ‘anticipation’!

[this is a sfw tickle fic!]

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“Midoriya.”

“Hm?”

“What are you doing.”

“‘fraid I don’t know what you mean,” says Midoriya, head pressing into the back of Todoroki’s shoulder. This is, of course, a lie. He absolutely knows what he’s doing.

“Move.”

Todoroki can’t see it, but he can tell Midoriya is pouting. “You don’t want me hugging you?”

Todoroki corrects, “Move your hands.”

Midoriya wiggles his fingers. “What’s wrong with where they are?”

Todoroki flinches violently, making the others in the room turn to look at them. “You know exactly what, Midoriya,” he hisses once they turn away.

Midoriya curls his arms tighter around Todoroki’s stomach. “I’m comfortable.”

“Then stop tickling me!” he exclaims; quietly, so he doesn’t draw any more attention to them.

“Okay.”

Todoroki freezes—metaphorically, of course. If anything, he’s rather warm. “Okay?”

Midoriya shrugs. “Okay.”

…He did not expect that answer.

While Midoriya does not move his hands, and he doesn’t even keep them still, he does carefully avoid all of Todoroki’s particularly sensitive spots that he probably knows by heart now. It’s relieving and somehow disappointing all at the same time; Todoroki isn’t a fan of being embarrassed in front of people, but Midoriya manages to bring him out of his shell more often than not, making him feel almost playful, and he’s found he doesn’t exactly hate when Midoriya does this. 

Well—he doesn’t hate the tickling. He’s not a fan of anticipation. He’s not always a very patient person, especially when it comes to this. Midoriya knows, of course, and only does it for the purpose of messing with him.

He’s half tempted to grab Midoriya’s arm and pull him to his room so they can be alone, but he can hear the rhythmic sound of Bakugou chopping things in the kitchen, so it would be pointless to leave when they’ll be called back for dinner not long after.

So, Todoroki resigns himself to waiting until after dinner.

It’s horrible. Midoriya sits next to him, placing his hand on his knee under the table to make him tense up, poking extremely close to his ticklish spots, giving him bright smiles when Todoroki turns to confront him and turning those same smiles to the others when they aim a questioning look their way. Midoriya is not as innocent as they all think he is. He’s terrible and leading them all on.

Once they finish eating, Todoroki thinks he’s finally free. He is not. Ashido calls for a movie night, and he knows he’d be dragged into it even if he wanted to leave, so he doesn’t even try to escape.

Once again, Midoriya sits by him, and once again, he’s a huge asshole. Tokoyami even asks if he’s alright at some point, mentioning that his face looks a bit red, which makes Todoroki want to sink into the ground as Midoriya laughs softly at  him. The worst part is that the movie isn’t very interesting at all, so it doesn’t even distract him in the slightest.

“I’m tired,” he stands up to announce as soon as the end credits show. As he starts to walk away he can hear Midoriya excusing himself as well, saying that he’s still exhausted from training earlier before he runs to catch up.

“Are you alright?” Midoriya asks once they’re sitting on Todoroki’s bed. “You were fidgeting a lot earlier.” So sweet. So innocent.

“You,” Todoroki hisses, “are the worst.”

Midoriya tilts his head, grinning. “I did what you asked.”

And Todoroki can’t argue with that, because it’s true, but Midoriya is still being unfair. “I take it back,” he grumbles.

“Take what back?”

“You know what.”

“I just want to be sure.”

Todoroki is not going to ask for it.

Midoriya seems content to wait however long he needs to.

Fuck. “What I said earlier. You can—” The words catch in his throat. He’s going to kill Midoriya, if Midoriya doesn’t kill him first. “You can tickle me. I don’t care,” he adds on, trying to save his last shreds of dignity.

Midoriya shrugs. “Well, if you don’t care either way, I don’t see any point in—”

“Midoriya!”

That finally pulls a laugh out of the freckled boy. “Sorry, sorry!” he says, not sounding sorry at all. He wraps Todoroki in a hug, moving so his hands are on his sides. “Are you sure—”

“I’m going to kick you out,” says Todoroki, moments before Midoriya begins squeezing his sides and he’s being broken down into laughter.

“Good luck doing that now,” teases Midoriya, hugging him sweetly like he hasn’t been torturing him all day—like he isn’t still doing it. “I’d be surprised if you could do much now that you’re all giggly.”

“Sh-uhut up,” huffs Todoroki. He’s not giggly, but he’s definitely on the right track to get there, especially if Midoriya doesn’t move spots, because this is slowly becoming unbearable.

“You’ll have to be quiet,” Midoriya tells him. “Some people will be going to bed soon. Don’t wanna ruin your image.”

“I’ll kihihill you.”

#cant tell if this is ooc or not. oh well #my fics #arty writes #tickle fic #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #shouto todoroki #izuku midoriya #lee!todoroki #ler!midoriya #tododeku #ig?? if you want #augtickletober2022

[nine-of-words]

Something Borrowed (Part Nine)

M Gargoyle x M Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 4177

Content Warnings: Discussion of a Breakup

Obligatory angst chapter :’)

You haven't gotten out of bed all day.

You can hear the sounds of the workers you hired repairing the shop beneath you, so it’s not like it’s possible to continue to sleep through it. And yet, you just can’t seem to motivate yourself to get up and function today.

You know you'll have to get up and talk to them when the work day is over, and at least lock up behind them. But the last time you left the comfort of your blanket nest was to let them in first thing in the morning, and you don't feel inclined to leave it again until it's absolutely necessary.

You can’t even throw yourself into your work to get your mind off your love life being in shambles, not with your shop like this. The repairs will take at least a couple days, so you’ve had to refund a few wedding cakes you’ve had going out already. You’ll be able to eat the cost, sure, but it’s not exactly great for business.

While all of those things are troubling, none of that really is what’s bothering you.

It’s knowing that you’ve just cut off the most perfect man you don’t even think you could’ve dreamt up if you tried.

And the worst thing about it is… You’ve done it to yourself.

It's not like Carlyle hasn't been trying to contact you since you've been awake- starting with the usual morning texts he sends you while on his train commute.

> Good morning

> I know you said we shouldn’t see each other anymore, before you ordered everyone out of your shop last night

> But I care about you too much to not even follow up

> Emotions were high

> So I thought it might be for the best to try to open a line of communication, now that things are more calm and its easier to think more clearly

> And maybe we can talk it out

Then, more around lunchtime;

> I feel like I'm crossing a boundary pushing like this 

> But I’m worried about you

> I’m not asking you to change your mind

> I only want to be completely sure you’re okay

You manage to ignore those too, but it’s much more difficult. You start chewing on your lip, forming a raw spot on the soft interior.

The guilt is gut-wrenching. But you know if you answer even a single one of his texts, your willpower will crumble. It’s for both of your sakes that you don’t respond right now. Surely, he’ll eventually lose interest…

Carlyle is handsome. He’s smart. And he’s charming. You’re sure he’ll go off and find a nice man or woman that isn’t cursed to brutally ruin the relationship from the start, no problem. He doesn’t need to waste his time with someone as unfixable as you.

But the very thought of him with someone else, though imaginary, still makes you sick to your stomach, so you force it out of your mind.

A few episodes of your program later, you get one last string of messages.

> I’m going to call you when I get off work

> If you don’t want to answer, that’s okay

> That will be my last attempt, because I want to respect your feelings here

At 5pm sharp, the telltale noise of your device going off blares from next to you in bed. The lit-up caller ID clearly says ‘Carlyle’ in your darkened room.

You simply stare at it for a few moments. You want nothing more than to pick up the call, every muscle in your body screaming for you to move and answer him, to hear his voice and ask him to come over and just forget everything that happened yesterday. You could forget everything about the curse and how even being around him is a danger to his continued wellbeing and just be happy.

But instead, you shove your device under your pillow and smash it down, like you’re trying to smother the non-existent breath out of the inanimate machine. It doesn’t fully drown out the sound of your ringtone and the vibration, but you hold it there until it finally stops going off.

You want to scream, but you don’t even have the energy left anymore. You simply sink back down into your bed, covering your head with your duvet and quietly sobbing.

You eventually have to pull yourself together, to see the workers repairing the shop out for the evening and locking up behind them. You’re sure you look horrible, but you can’t be bothered to care much. You just silently hope behind your forced smile that they didn’t hear you crying your eyes out.

When your device goes off in a series of buzzes again when you come back upstairs, you can’t resist almost diving onto the bed to look at it. Luckily you didn’t think to just silence it in your sadness before. 

To your relief and disappointment, though, it’s not Carlyle this time.

> Hey. so. 

> Just FYI

> I do have the legal clearance to come break into your shop if I have cause for worry

> and you are causing me to worry

> Get ready for a welfare check :)

You’ve been ignoring their texts checking in on you all day, so you suppose you’ve brought this on yourself. You find yourself smiling a small, fragile smile for the first time all day.

< okay but please don’t break the door in

< enough things are broken around here

You barely have the motivation to drag yourself over, even when you hear the pounding on the door. You finally manage to, if only because you have no doubt Kirby was serious about breaking in. As expected, Kirby’s standing there on the landing of the back stairs, unwieldy with a huge takeout bag in one hand and an overstuffed bag from the corner store in the other.

You must look even worse than you thought, because their cheerful expression morphs into one of concern and undisguised pity almost immediately as you open the door.

“Oh. Honey.”

Kirby embraces you with genuine care, despite the awkwardness of them not putting the bags down first.

“I’m like- soooo sorry.” They squeeze you surprisingly hard around the middle, but it’s not unwelcome. “I was supposed to fix this and- and all I can do is sit around and watch it get worse!!”

You struggle to not start bawling again from the comfort.

“It’s not your fault,” You say weakly. “You’re doing your best.”

“Yeah, well, here~!” Kirby pulls back, motioning with the bags in their hands. “If I’m suddenly useless at cursebreaking, the least I can do is be present, hehe!! So!! I brought takeout and treats and we’re gonna have a chat!”

You peek into the bags they’re holding open- a copious amount of takeout from your favorite place, your favorite flavor of ice cream from the corner store, and various other supplies, including tissues; luckily for you, since you’ve already ran through your own supply of them. 

You get situated on the couch, and to your surprise, the words start flowing out of your mouth like a waterfall. You had thought you didn’t want to talk, that you didn’t even want to think about it anymore. But having a supportive presence here that wants to listen is apparently enough to break the dam of feelings you’re trying to keep bottled up.

It’s a weight off your shoulders to talk about how you’re feeling with someone besides the cruel voice in your own head. You haven’t even called Emer about it yet- you were worried about burdening her with your second earth-shattering heartbreak in not even as many years.

And to be honest, it’d be majorly embarrassing to explain this after asking for the kardemummabullar recipe only a couple months ago.

“I just feel like there's no point in even trying to fight it,” You sum up your tirade as you forlornly prod at the food in your to-go container. “If magic's made me unlovable, maybe I'm just unloveable.”

“Stooop.” Kirby, who has been otherwise attentively listening and only offering words of support as you spoke, finally refutes something. “Nope! No, no, nope- not even a little! You're PLENTY loveable!! Just because we're stumped right now- it doesn't mean there's not a solution!

“If you put it like that…” You sigh, but find yourself smiling. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

“Hahah, yeah you will! Soon this'll be all nicely solved and tied up with a pretty bow and we'll look back on how silly it was to be so down. You. Just. Wait.”

Kirby stays until late into the night, and after the first explosion of extended venting about the situation with Carlyle and your feelings about the curse, you don't find yourself mentioning it again. Instead you fall into a comfortable time chatting about nothing and watching the most brain dead programming you can find, over the takeout and snacks Kirby brought. It almost feels like a normal, pleasant evening in with a friend.

It’s a welcome distraction, and you’re thankful for them being here for you. You just wish that the darkness didn’t start to creep back in as soon as they’ve left and you've crawled back into your empty bed…

The next few days are much the same. 

Miserable.

Unable to work through your feelings by working with your hands, like you usually would; being cooped up in your room alone, trying to fill the hole in your heart with sweets and distract yourself with mindless entertainment (and failing) like this - it reminds you so much of right after Trevor left.

You’re an absolute mess. Drowning in that exact same nagging, raw sense of emptiness…

…Who are you kidding?

This is absolutely worse.

Maybe it’s the same kind of agony, sure, but this is so much more vicious.

You thought after how things with Trevor ended, you'd never experience anything like that sort of heartbreak again. You never thought you’d have the capability to miss someone this much.

You were so wrong.

You can barely keep yourself from looking at your screen. Everything you try to distract yourself with, from the recipes you’re scrolling through on your device, to the well-groomed lead in the movie you’re half-tuning out, reminds you of Carlyle. You would give just about anything to go back to how things were before your curse started getting in the way.

There is one particularly glaring difference that you can’t help but appreciate, though. This time, you had people in your life that cared enough to check on you- something that simply didn’t happen with Trevor. At some point, all of your friends had become friends that were his first, so it made sense that he kept them in the breakup. But this time, Kirby wouldn’t let you wallow alone, and Carlyle had really tried to get through to you…

It just makes it hurt more.

You fight the urge to sigh as you pipe another pitiful, wonky rosette onto the cake in front of you. You have several orders to catch up on now that the shop is open again; you don’t have time to be making careless mistakes, but your heart just isn’t in your work right now.

Grumbling, you scrape the top layer of icing off the side to start over.

It’s an otherwise normal Saturday in your shop- pops of business here and there, with enough lulls for you to get your icing and decorating in.

It feels good to be back in your shop. Now if only you could do your job properly…

Kirby is over in the corner, and while chatting earlier was the bright spot of your day so far, them being at that table working on your case just reminds you about who would usually be joining them about now…

You’re used to missing people- you did move overseas from your familial home fresh out of school. And yet… You don’t think you’ve missed anyone this bad before.

If you close your eyes and focus, you can almost remember what it feels like to have his firm, comforting arms around you, or his solid hands skimming lightly on your skin, or his hungry lips against yours…

“Uh… Hey. Are you… okay?”

You snap back to attention to the familiar voice, realizing that in your mental haze, you’ve just been absent-mindedly squeezing a slow, steady stream of icing onto the counter in front of you from the chokehold you have on the piping bag.

“Oh- Um, yeah. Sorry. Hello again, Rosario.” You plaster a smile on your face as best you can. “Can I get you something…?”

“...The same one as before.” She brandishes her credit card at the payment terminal like a viper ready to strike. Or maybe a deer ready to flee? It’s hard to tell. “Please.”

“Oh, don’t worry about paying.” You fetch one of the overly chocolate cupcakes from the case and slide it over on a napkin. “It’s on the house.”

“Huh.” She puts her card back in her wallet, a dubious expression on her face with a single thick eyebrow quirked up. “You sure? Isn’t it bad for business to be constantly giving your product away?”

“It’s fine! Really.” You laugh warmly, waving your hand. “I’ve got a certain amount budgeted for giving away freebies. And I think you’re swell. So- Enjoy.”

And even if you can’t see Carlyle, you can at least be nice to his friend.

“...Thanks.” A flash of a smile shines through her typically sour demeanor. But it looks… almost guilty, the way her eyebrows furrow for a split second.

To your surprise, she leaves the counter and instead of going on her way… approaches Kirby? Who immediately greets her and pulls out a chair at the table before motioning to the papers in front of them.

Now you are intrigued. You’ll have to swing by their table when you find time to take a break from the work you have piled up.

It takes a while to carve out the time with your current failing job performance, but you do finally find the time to take a break and go over to their table.

Though, as you get within earshot, it takes all you have in you to not drop the drinks in your hands on the floor.

“-fact of the matter is it can’t be a geas unless there’s a mandate, either physical or verbal. That’s-”

You’re gutted. You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Oh heeeeey~” Kirby grins up at you, leaning their chin on their palm as their other hand reaches over and (unsuccessfully) surreptitiously casts a silence bubble over Rosario’s device, if the reflective flash of cyan in their irises and the sudden silence of from the speaker is any indication. “You here to sit with us for a bit?”

You know Kirby well enough now you’d probably pick up on the slight stress in their voice. 

“Yeah,” You manage, your mouth suddenly dry. You choose to not even address what you just heard. What’s there even left to say about it? “It’s been a while so I thought you could use something to drink…”

Impressively, Rosario has a poker face of steel, judging by the absolute lack of break in her composure. She simply pulls out the chair next to her.

You try to be present in the conversation, but the vibe is fatally off now. You find yourself zoning out, eyes fixed on the too-white grout around the replaced tiles on the floor until you get back to work.

A few hours later, you’re cleaning up in anticipation of closing time, stewing in your own negative headspace. You do tune back in long enough to see Rosario wave goodbye, which you at least have the presence of mind to reciprocate.

Kirby checks in on you before they leave. You pretend that you’re not affected by hearing Carlyle’s voice earlier, and Kirby seems to decide to not push you to talk about it, but does their best to cheer you up before they leave for the night regardless.

The next day is more of the same, with Rosario now acting as a surrogate Carlyle as far as working on your case goes, or so it appears. Kirby is more diligent this time to conceal the sound from the speaker if they see you coming.

Soon, it’s been an entire week, then another day. You wish it was getting easier.

It’s any other Tuesday, but there’s the nagging reminder that it’s the weekly order from the ladies at Carlyle’s law office tonight. Last Tuesday the shop was closed, so it had slipped your mind. But now, here you are again, but instead of the usual happy anticipation of your usual weeknight visit, you’ve only got a knot in your stomach.

How is this even going to go? Is he still going to order? Will he show up?

What would you even say to him…?

You’d be lying to yourself if you deny that you’d be overjoyed to see him walk through the door of your shop again, no matter how awkward it’d be.

But the hours go by, with no order coming through under his name, or resembling the normal order he picks up. It’s well into evening, and you’re starting to accept that you didn’t need to worry about it in the first place.

And then, the jingle of the POS system. You glance, not expecting much- just to see his name pops up on the order screen. It’s perhaps the most beautiful arrangement of letters you’ve ever seen. You hurry to get the order together perfectly, despite the ample time you have to prepare it. 

You only torture yourself more from the time the order appears until the minutes are ticking down to the scheduled pick up time. 

It’s almost close on a Tuesday night, after all. There's nothing else to do but wait.

And wait you do, an exhilarating and sickening mix of apprehension and expectation building inside you.

Finally, the pick up time approaches.

The door bell jingles…

You turn to look.

And in walks… 

A delivery driver.

They’re pleasant enough as they say Carlyle’s name to confirm the order. You’re pleasant enough back, despite there being a massive faultline breaking your heart in two.

You wait for the delivery driver to leave with the box, then you flop down on the stool behind the counter, shoulders slumping and spirit absolutely broken.

Of course he’d do that. It’s the most logical course of action. Of course he’s not going to come in. You clearly told him to stay away.

Is… that it? It’s done? Just like that?

It’s over?

You had hoped, against your better judgment, that he would turn up and you could smooth things over.

You’re so tired of this.

You fold your arms and set your head down on them against the surface. You don’t want to cry again, but you can feel the sting of tears on the rim of your eyelids. 

It’s too much, it’s not enough. He should’ve showed, He’s right to have not. You wish more than anything you could see him again, you wish you had simply never met. 

If it’s for the best, why does it hurt so badly?

It’s just not fair.

As you’re sitting there, wallowing in sorrow, you feel something brush against your elbow, then along your forearm. You barely have the energy to care, but curious, lift your head just slightly to see what’s touching you- probably a loose napkin that got stuck to your arm or some other bit of detritus.

But there’s nothing there.

You’re left sitting there, equal parts confused and creeped out.

Whatever Rosario failed to exorcize is still here indeed, it seems.

Maybe even a particularly stubborn wayward spirit for company is better than being alone. The thought gives you a bit of comfort, and the chill in your spine slowly dissipates.

You’ve almost convinced yourself to stand and go lock the door for the night. There’s only a few minutes left before you’re closed anyway, and you might as well. It’s not like anyone will show up…

Just as you’re thinking that to yourself, you see a form appear in the window- but after a glimmering, red-hot ember of hope, you recognize the form as someone you absolutely did not expect, nor want, to see.

It’s Trevor. And before you can react or even fully process it, he’s casually walking through the door, then right up to the counter, with something in his hand- it only takes a moment to make out that it’s a heart-shaped box.

You’re struck with terror for a moment, but too dumbstruck to react.

“Hey.” He nods, like this is a normal thing to do.

He carelessly sets the item down on the counter, revealing that it’s indeed a heart-shaped item- a pink, frilly,  cutely decorated box of chocolates.

You stare down at the item on your counter.

GET WELL SOON; it reads.

This can’t be happening. 

This has to be a joke.

“What the fuck.” Is all you can manage to scoff out quietly, completely done with any cordial pretense.

“Pfft. Wow. That’s how you say hello to someone bringing you chocolates these days?” Trevor says, clearly offended, but brushes it off as humorous with that annoying little huff of a laugh he’s always done. You used to think it was cute. “Dating must not be going well for you then.”

You steeple your hands over your mouth, struggling with all you have to contain yourself. You let out a long, drawn out sigh, centering yourself, and then finally speak in a restrained, measured tone.

“You have 30 seconds to explain yourself before I throw you out into the street.”

“Look- They’re from Dev! But she forgot she had a workshop to teach today so like, she asked me to bring them here- Well. Begged, more like it. And you know. The whole puppy dog eyes thing she does. Like, how can I argue with that? She said your shop exploded or something.” He says, exasperated, before adding in a grumble; “It doesn’t look very exploded to me…”

You simply give him the most dead-eyed look you can muster.

“Just read the note if you don’t believe me.” Trevor points at the “You always make things so difficult.”

You bite your tongue and read the note instead of giving in to the urge to strangle him.

Hey,

They didn’t have a box with “sorry your shop exploded” on it??? This one was the closest. Get well soon, shop!

XOXO Devin & Trevor

You’re much less disgusted by the gesture knowing the chocolates are from her, but a bit of the sick feeling in your stomach remains, being face to face with their deliverer. And of course, you can’t help but notice that both of their names are in Devin’s handwriting.

There’s a pang of guilt in there somewhere, too. Or maybe pity? After all, it wasn’t too long ago that you were in a position similar to Devin’s- planning a wedding basically by yourself, and not even able to get a scrap of help with minor errands without begging.

“There was an accident with a light falling. I had to close up shop for a tick.” You begrudgingly explain, but don’t even know why you’re bothering- it’s not like he ever listened to anything you had to say, anyway, even when you were supposedly the most important person to him. “It’s sweet of her to have thought of me.”

“Yeah, she’s always doing this sort of thing. She’s so kind and selfless- She’s perfect.”

Your molars grit a bit at the statement, but you choose to ignore the slight in favor of continuing to appreciate your friend.

“Tell her I said ‘thank you’- or wait. Actually, nevermind. I’ll just send her a message myself.” You sigh, remembering that your chances of him actually passing the message along is slim to none. “Now, if you don’t mind, it’s past close...”

“Cool. See ya.” Trevor nods, seemingly just as relieved as you are that the interaction is over, if the way he scurries out of the shop like some sort of vermin is any indication.

That’s it. You angrily scrub at the counter with the sanitizer. Champagne. Bubble bath. NOW.

After a much more vigorous end to your closing procedures than the stalling you were doing before, you finally walk over to your shop’s front door. You’ve been putting off turning off the light the entire time you’ve been closing down for the night. Somewhere in the back of your mind survived the hope that perhaps Carlyle would show up today, regardless of current circumstances…

You know it’s stupid to wish he’d show up. You’re the one that told him you shouldn’t see each other, after all. This is just how it has to be.

And yet…

You let out a long, withering sigh, and switch the neon sign off, extinguishing its pink glow.

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

#exophilia #monster lover #monster romance #monster x human #monster x reader #gargoyle x reader #gargoyle #male x male #mlm #mxm #male monster #male reader #series: something borrowed #oc: carlyle #oc: declan #nine of words

[iguana-braces]

Ol’ Reliable (Hangman x Reader)

From this request -- Masterlist

Description: Playing hard to get on the Fourth of July has some ~*exciting*~ consequences. 

Warnings: swearing, explicit content, vaginal sex, fingering, mild domination, roughness

Word Count: 2k

Note: Apparently all my smut is going to be ½ plot-based build-up, so… also slightly changed the prompt

MINORS DNI, 18+

It was just an invitation, a Facebook invitation no less, to a Fourth of July party hosted by a friend, held at their family’s lakefront mansion. It’d be a weekend of stars and stripes, booze, brats, boats, and beaches. You’d gone a few times before, years ago, when you were more than happy to take part in the over-indulgent depravity that occurred when trust-fund babies and their hanger-on friends were allowed to run wild. 

But that felt like a lifetime ago. Now your hangovers hit like a dump truck and you had a manual of those "office space stretches" to keep your spine from collapsing on itself during the day. And as much as you were looking to let down your hair over the holiday weekend, you were adamant about remaining somewhat clear-headed and rational. 

Except for the fact that you knew he’d be there. The last time you saw him, you had to inform him of your new relationship, one that you swore would last and it did… for a while. But now here you were, single again, and hell would freeze over the day Jake Seresin ever decided to settle down so he’d most likely be on the prowl, same as always. And you had never been one to run from him, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t give him a good chase. 

You dressed to impress, Daisy Dukes over a strappy swimsuit that revealed just enough without being obscene about it. Your tan lines would be atrocious but certain sacrifices had to be made in the name of the game. 

Once there, you stuck close to your friend and the other reformed hooligans you used to lose your inhibitions with, warily keeping an eye out for the pilot they now called “Hangman”. A couple times you swore you heard his voice, his laugh, from somewhere nearby, haunting you. Taunting you.

Finally, around noon, you found him. Or, he found you first, appearing beside you as you basked in the sun. 

“Haven’t seen you around here for a while.” The years had been kind to him, too kind. He was still gorgeous, still absolutely shredded, and presumably, still gifted below the belt. But you made sure not to let your gaze linger for too long, finding a boat on the lake to fix your attention to instead. 

“Yeah, and?”

He pointedly glanced at your bare ring finger. “I thought you were getting married to… what’s-his-face.”

“Yeah, he thought so too.”

“Right, and you just couldn’t stay away for long, could you?" 

"What the hell do you mean, Jake?"

"I mean that there’s no way you just decided to show up here for the first time in years, single, dressed like that, knowing I’d be here, without any ulterior motives. I thought you learned your lesson the last time you decided to make me jealous." 

You almost blushed at the memory but fought it back, refusing to let him onto your intentions for the night. 

"You think I'm trying to make you jealous?” you said, laughing incredulously. “Like it’s a foregone conclusion we’ll bang just because we’re both single and existing within a thousand yard radius of each other?”

“I mean, that’s exactly what’s happened every other time we’ve seen each other. Why is this time any different?”

“Maybe I’m just not interested in you anymore.”

“I don’t believe that, for reasons previously stated.”

You sat up, stretching lazily. “It’s been years, Jake. And you know, you're not the only one on the planet who's above average in bed. You’re not even the only person at this party who’s above average.”

“What, you already hooked up with someone here and they just happened to be better than me? Yeah, right,” he scoffed.

“Maybe I did.”

“Who?”

“That’s absolutely none of your business.”

“See, I still think you’re lying.”

Shaking your head, you gathered your things and started walking up towards the house. “You and your poor ego. Does it just kill you inside, thinking that you might not be the best at everything?”

Following you like a lost puppy, Jake boasted, “Oh, I know I’m not the best at everything. I’m just the best at the things I care about.”

“Flying and fucking?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well, unfortunately, that’s just not true anymore.”

Stopping in front of you, he narrowed his eyes, searching your expression for any signs of deception. But you had prepared for this and kept a straight face, one that said you’re fucked, Seresin. “... Seriously?”

“As serious as cancer.”

“Wha– How? How were they better than me?”

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“You know, maybe you’ve just misremembering. It’s been a few years, how can you possibly give an accurate comparison between me and… whoever the fuck you banged?” He was trying so hard to keep up his nonchalant curiosity, but you knew him well enough to hear the insecurity seeping into his voice.

“I guess we’ll never know for sure,” you admitted, shrugging. “But in my mind, it’s a done deal. You lost, Hangman. It’s killing you, isn’t it?”

“Only because you’re not being fair. It’s only good sportsmanship to give me a shot at defending my title.”

“Hmm… Maybe. Maybe later. I need to shower and you’re not invited.”

He smirked and you could tell his mind was getting ahead of itself, already visualizing his victory. But the day wasn’t over yet. 

With that encounter out of the way, you were able to focus on spending the rest of the day with your friends, people you could actually stand to have a conversation with, as you reminisced about the good old days and watched the new generation of collegiate idiots make the same mistakes you did. 

But of course, there was still a game to be played. When you were sure that Jake had a clear line of sight, you conveniently dropped your silverware, bending to pick it up in such a way that wasn’t exactly cooperative with the hem of your short sundress. And you made sure to give plenty of attention to your male friends, the ones who were single and openly welcomed the attention, letting the wheels in Hangman’s mind turn as he tried to deduce which one you had slept with. 

By evening, as people really started getting messy, drinking to pass the time until it was dark enough for fireworks, you’d grown tired of your own charade and hoped its payoff would be worthwhile. And you weren’t the only one who felt that way. 

“So when is this gonna happen?” Jake said, cornering you in the kitchen of your friend’s house as you scavenged for more food. 

“Getting impatient?” 

“Well, the night’s not getting any younger, and I gotta know if I should start looking elsewhere for a nightcap.”

Oh, no, no, no, you weren’t letting any other woman take what you had so rightly worked for. But in order to avoid revealing your desperation, you sighed and replied, “Fine, let’s go. But hurry up, I wanna watch the fireworks.”

That only gave him about half an hour, but then again, he always worked best under pressure.

“What was his name?”

“What?”

“The guy you claim is better than me. His name.”

The second you’d started heading to your guest room, you’d forgotten all about the little performance that had led you there. Suddenly forgetting the names of every male you knew, you sputtered the first that you could think of after a few seconds of straining. “...David.”

“That’s real sexy. Dave,” he mocked, apparently buying your blatant lie. 

Arriving at the guest room your friend had so graciously offered you, Jake glanced around and remarked, “There’s like, nothing in here.”

There was in fact a nightstand, dresser, chair, and ottoman. And of course, “There’s a bed. You know, the place where most people have sex.”

“There’s also a balcony.” 

“No,” you insisted, spreading out your beach towel. Sand in the bed was one thing, but wet, sticky sheets were worse. Having sex on a bed was quite possibly Hangman’s worst nightmare, but he could suck it up this time. Your days of being caught half-naked in the boathouse were in the past and that’s exactly where they’d stay. 

Slipping off your panties, you didn’t bother removing your dress, merely hiking it up as you laid on your back on the towel.

“How big is Dave? Bigger? Smaller?” 

“Smaller.” It was highly unlikely you’d have enjoyed anything with someone who was more well-endowed than Jake by any increment, and he’d know that.

“That’s unfortunate. For you.”

“Go slow, Jake,” you warned as he stripped. Literally just looking at him made you want to moan, and you doubted you’d actually need the lube you had tossed at him. But better safe than sorry. 

“You’re the one who put a time limit on this thing.”

“I’m serious. I will cut your dick off if you don’t take it easy.”

“Relax, I know what I’m doing.” Briefly sucking on his middle and index finger, he slipped them inside you without ceremony, quickly curling them to hit your most sensitive spots. It was good, but foreplay wasn’t his forte and your resolve to act disinterested was slightly stronger than his dexterity. But it wasn’t for your pleasure anyway, it was merely a warm-up, stretching before the real workout. 

Even though you’d taken it numerous times before, you were always still somewhat intimidated by the size of his dick as he lined it up at your entrance. Consciously trying to relax yourself as Jake slowly entered you, you couldn’t help but let out a surprised moan at feeling yourself stretch around his cock. 

“Sounds like you missed me,” he said, smirking. You wanted to slap him for being so obnoxiously cocky, but that was also part of his intoxicating charm. “Bet Dave didn’t get that kind of reaction.”

True to his word, he started out at a painstakingly slow pace, but worth it to feel yourself stretch and contract as he almost fully pulled out then fully buried himself inside you with each slow thrust. He was barely able to bottom out before being physically restricted from going any deeper. 

“Mmm….” you sighed. 

“Slow enough for you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t ever say I’m not a gentleman.” After a few more minutes, Jake glanced at his watch. “Are you properly adjusted now? Permission to pick up the fucking pace a little?”

"Go for it." 

Quite quickly, he worked up to a speed akin to a bullet train, snapping his hips into yours without falter. You didn’t want to let him win so easily, but it soon became near impossible to hold back your moans. Jake didn’t seem to notice, he wouldn’t be satisfied with his victory until you were utterly ravaged. 

Breaking with tradition, he rested his weight on his left hand as his right moved between your legs, this thumb swiping over your clit. Usually that was your job, adding to your own pleasure when he was too absorbed in his own. But it seemed that chivalry wasn’t dead anymore.

It didn’t take long before you started to tense. “Oh, shit, Jake!”

Crying out loud enough that you were sure the entire lake heard you, you came hard, your nails digging into his forearm hard enough to make him wince. But he didn’t relent, only slowing down long enough for your orgasm to subside before launching the same attack, which worked just as successfully as the first one. 

When your breathing finally started to even out and you were able to unclench your eyes, you saw Jake check his watch again. 

“Shit,” he sighed, abruptly pulling out of you. You almost whined at the sudden loss of contact, before he ordered, “Face down, ass up.”

That was his favorite position, attacking from behind. Doggystyle, bending you over something, that was how he really did his damage. As if you hadn’t had enough in this brief encounter to make your head spin. 

Wasting no time, he reentered you, grabbing your hips and pounding into you with an unrelenting pace. Gasping for air through moans and obscenities, part of you was mentally begging for mercy and another part was just begging for more, please, more. But before you could reach your peak, he abruptly pulled out of you, and you lost all your built up momentum. 

“What the absolute fuck is wrong with you?” you groaned, reeling from the whiplash. 

“You know, I don’t think Dave really exists,” Jake mused through heavy breaths, his hands resting gently on your rear as he returned to the painfully slow thrusts you’d started with. “You were just fucking with me, weren’t you?”

The slow movement was enough to make you crave more, another big finish, but not enough to get you there. 

“God fucking damnit,” you muttered.

“What was that?” He suddenly snapped his hips deeply into yours, eliciting a sharp gasp of “Shit!” from you. You tried to move against him, desperate for some kind of friction, but he pulled back again. It was demeaning having to feed his ego sometimes, but you also needed him to do what he was best at now. “Say it and I’ll let you finish. Again.”

“Yes, I was fucking with you.”

“I appreciate your honesty.” He slammed into you again, now gaining momentum. Your hands gripped at the sheets for dear life, your hair falling over your face as he fucked you into the mattress so hard you thought he might rip straight through you. You knew he couldn’t last much longer, and neither could you. Finally–

“Just one more question, actually. Who can fuck you better than I do?”

If you were still in a rational state of mind, you would’ve rolled your eyes. But you had completely lost the plot, too overwhelmed by the rush of chemicals in your brain and the stinging pleasure radiating through your body to form a coherent string of consonants and vowels. But you had to answer, otherwise he’d stop again and you might just commit homicide if he did. 

Finally, you gasped into the mattress, “...Nobody.”

“A little louder now.” Jake’s hand tangled in your hair and yanked back, pulling your head off the mattress as he continued to hammer into you. 

"Can't even speak, huh? Maybe I should let you catch your breath–" 

“Please don’t stop,” you gasped. “Nobody can fuck me better than you, Jake.”

“Damn right,” he grunted, dropping your head back onto the bed and grabbing your waist with both hands to jackhammer into you as you both went over the edge. 

As the blood rushed back to your head, you heard an explosion outside and the room was bathed in a burst of color. 

Jake was already off of you, cleaning himself with the towel. “Is that perfect fucking timing or what?”

Of course. Of course, it was right on cue, like he’d timed it down to the second. But you couldn’t even bring yourself to lift your head to look out the window, instead settling for watching the colors reflected off the walls. 

"Are you just gonna lay there or should I find you a wheelchair?" 

"Fuck off.”

“See you around, Y/N.”

“Will you, though?" you winced, finally sitting up from your prone position. 

He smiled that winning smile, stating, "Well, the best only fucks with the best. Who else would I go to?" 

#jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader

[espinosaurusrexex]

Hi, I’ve been reading fan fiction for a long time now and the thought of writing has been at the forefront of my mind. I’ve been writing in my notes on my phone😬but whenever I read something of yours or anyone I’m following, I compare your work to mine and mine’s absolutely terrible. But I still want to post stuff. It doesn’t help that I can visualise the scenes in my head but it’s just writing it out I’m bad at. I’m terrified people won’t like it, tell me it’s sh*t. Then I get that burst of confidence just to do it but then get scared again. I really don’t know what to do, it’s something I really want to do but it’s also something that really scares me to do.

a call to everyone that feels like this ⤴️

Hey!

First of all, thank you so much for opening up and reaching out 💓

I had the same issue/thoughts even after I started posting fanfic on my own. But I wanted to share my work with someone - even if it was just a few people. And fortunately, this fandom is really appreciative of most work that is put out there. You will always get positive feedback - because people are excited to get a glimpse of your imagination alone. It doesn’t matter that it’s not perfect or, in your opinion, well written.

Just take a look at my earlier works. Some of them are really not that great. But it takes something to improve. You just have to make that first step.

Im not gonna lie: At times we will stress ourself out about posting and content. And sometimes we will feel like our work is not good enough, still. Unfortunately, that won’t go away entirely. But it’s good, because it gives us motivation and space to improve and grow with our work.

I know it’s scary to post the first fic, not knowing what the reactions will be. But don’t worry. Don’t be too scared of what other people think. If you have fun with it and want to share it - do it. People will appreciate you’re work. Even if it’s just a few. It took me years to get where I am now and I still don’t get thousands of likes on every fic I post. But I’m proud of each one nevertheless.

So, if it wasn’t clear, I encourage you to finally do it. I, for one, am excited for and proud of everyone that puts their work out there. It takes courage and once you write more, get feedback, and just have fun with it, you will get better 🧡

If you’d like, I can read over some of your fics and give you some tips. Maybe you don’t even need tips. But you’ll certainly never know if you don’t try.

If people are interested, I could also start a “how @ writes” file in which everyone can share their writing process. I am also open to questions about my process if it is of any help - though I know every mind works differently 💫

And one last heart to heart from writer to writer: Please don’t let it consume you too much. Yes, it’s hard not to get enamored by these beautiful universes. But it should never become something that makes you feel pressured or not good enough (stepping over the line of self improvement and motivation that is). It’s supposed to be an outlet - a chance to discover a new talent - and not something that adds to our already stressful lives 💞

#Dr. Megs therapy session 🤓 #meg answers #writers on tumblr #fanfic writers #writerscommunity #writers and readers #mcu fandom #sherlock holmes #marvel cinematic universe #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers x you #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine