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mejomonster · 9 months

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Started watching Love and Redemption, and I'm loving it!!! tho it's only ep 5. But I wanted to ask you, since you clearly love the show a lot, how bad did you think the Misunderstandings I keep hearing about going to be later? Did you find them affecting your enjoyment of the show at any point?

WOOH I LOVE THIS SHOW

I generally hate misunderstandings. I did not find the one big one even a little annoying in this show. However for some people, I think that was their biggest sore spot when watching.

For me, the misunderstanding felt largely created by people controlling/manipulating/using xuanji and sifeng for their own purpose (and in xuanjis case that's a huge theme of bigger stuff). And (spoiler) they go talk to each other and fix the misunderstanding rather quickly (which is honestly good enough for me... go TALK about it lol, yet in so many shows that doesn't occur to them). So the misunderstanding didn't bother me at all.

So yeah, there's about 1 major relationship misunderstanding and given the situations around the characters it overall made sense to me, and as soon as they can get a moment to Go Meet it's cleared up. (Perhaps because LaR does so much that's handled in a way I prefeel Compared to other shows of this kind, the few writing choices that are miscommunication stand out more? But then to each their own my opinion is different than another's and all have fair reasons).

If you tolerated (or actually liked) Eternal Love (i hate watched it to be frank... inconsistent and agony enjoying writing drove me up a wall i was so angry but objectively i think that show did have some Great qualities as well so i get why it was liked by a lot of ppl), then I doubt anything in LaR is going to hit you as frustrating. If you tolerated (or liked) Ashes of Love then the writing in LaR is so far away from that level of misunderstanding its a different planet (I couldn't do ashes of love at all but I liked the actor performances).

There's also some "xuanji doesn't have all information" throughout the show. But from sifeng, that's character important (you'll find out by around ep 20 when this shows script starts becoming Wildly different than most other romance three lives xianxia in some core ways). And from Bai lin... he's the *redacted*. I can't tell you more without spoiling. Basically let's say... there's manipulators at play and xuanjis arc has a lot to do with abuse and manipulation and being treated as an object tool symbol rather than a person (one could argue sifeng and many other lead characters deal with degrees of this), and xuanji healing and overcoming that is major. So like... in a way that kind of writing could be frustrating (it's frustrating to see xuanji lied to and manipulated) but thats part of the core themes and story, and not something between her and her love interest.

(Also I could go ON about how LaR is more like Good Omens rather than Supernatural in its choice to paint emotional strength as more world Helping than physical strength in fights, which I just liked as a choice because again oh... what I would've given for someone to address the abusers in Eternal Love a bit more like the stupid Heavenly Emperor but whatever)

I can't remember the exact episode but once sifeng's revealed a bit more. Around ep 20ish? The show starts more blatantly revealing its themes and how the reality of its particular xianxia setup and approach is so different than other shows like Eternal Love and the critiques and subversion at play. It's already in glimpses earlier on, like Xuanji being god of war (usually its the guy Love interest who's God of war in these not the heroine), the demon fox woman not being entirely evil (and several early "catch demon" arcs that are rather sympathetic and more like Guardians "they're just people" than one mightve expected), the way Ling Long is going to be future leader of clan based on setup and is functionally Jiang Cheng in some ways (especially anger) and she's also kind of the main feminine character at the lead of the cast (xuanji is a bit more complex and more like the Overall Lead because she's serving a lot more roles in plot/tropes flipped and subverted), and Ling Long being so aggressive so bossy so nuch like a lot of heros (rather than heroines) in similar shows, the way sifengs mask and rules around it sort of connect to protecting virginity purity avoiding Love and those themes (normally not played with for the hero but heroine), the way as sifengs arc opens more (around ep 20) it becomes clear he'd normally be the "second guy lead who suffers and doesn't get the romance or happiness at end" but I promise he is the main lead and will be happy with xuanji, the way the other romantic lead is actually the *redacted* and they actually made the *redacted* painted as *redacted* for things he does. The way as sifengs arc opens the cultivation groups show they're willing to scapegoat and harm innocents and that throws SO many of their decisions past and future into the new framework of knowing these "righteous" leaders may choose to and will choose to hurt innocent people. Which throws in the bigger point. IN the theme song of the show. That these lead characters, heroes, will have to decide right and wrong for themselves, they won't let fate decide and won't find the right path in following the route laid out for them and expected of them by those in power.

Anyway tldr. I didn't find the miscommunication a big irritation. I felt it was written fine. Could it have been written better? Maybe. If you've watched any other romance three lives xianxia and liked or simply Finished watching it, then LaR should be a fair bit less misunderstanding lol. There's only 1 big misunderstanding I remember in LaR and i found it understandable and quickly resolved by talking like it should be lol. However I do think* the way the villain manipulates xuanji can be absolutely brutal to watch (and as that trauma is part of her story arc it's unavoidable) so that may eventually be something some people wanna avoid. I liked it becayse it was well written and a meaningful story to me and she overcomes it. But it's definitely a bit component.

#love and redemption #replies #ask #i LOVE this show please feel free to message more #its a slow burn kind of writing where by the wnd you cant believe how you got there but its PERFECT #god i wanna reeatch

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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 4 months

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➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 41 - Danny. Episode 4.

--------Sparkles point of view---------- Sparkle: So what have you done the past year, I mean wooh!! I gave him the elevator look and sipped my coffee

Danny: Chuckled softly Well, I figured out you had left about a week after you were gone.

Sparkle: Sorry I smiled apologizing at him

Danny: Nah, it's okay, I get it now that you explained why. You had to. and it wasn't like you owed me anything. I tried to get in contact with you for about a month, with no luck, obviously. And one night I got a call from a friend, working on one of those big hangar ships. He told me they needed crew, a paid job for 10 months… so yeah, I just jumped the opportunity, figured I needed to get away too. So 10 months and 25 kilo later, here I am. He smiled warmly

Sparkle: I giggled softly Ahh so that's why you have this whole hipster sailor look now.

Danny: Chuckled softly A life at sea will do that to you.

Sparkle: I chuckled softly I'll try to remember that. So what's with the uh? I pointed at his throat as I could see a tattoo crawl over the neckline of his knitted pullover

Danny: If it wasn't so cold I would show you. I don't know. A few artists were on the ship, and when we got bored enough, they started tattooing people. One night I guess I got bored enough as well. Well, it was more nights really. He pointed at his throat That one is not the only one I have. But as mentioned, it's too cold right now to start showing tattoos. Some other time perhaps? He smiled softly

Sparkle: I nodded softly Yeah, I would like that, you have me curious now.

Danny: He nodded towards Daniel and Ruby So what's up with you and the military guy?

Sparkle: I chuckled softly First off, he's not a military man, he was never in the military. That's just his style.

Danny: Alright… he nodded with a small chuckle and sipped his coffee

Sparkle: And to answer your question, there isn't really anything with us. He's my friend… sometimes we fuck I blushed a bit as I said the words sorry, I don't mean to sound like a whore or something.

Danny: You could never sound like that to me, so don't worry.

Sparkle: I smiled softly at him and blushed further Thank you.

---------Daniel's point of view------------

Ruby: He's stealing your girl now…

Daniel: She's not my girl. I grunted and sipped the rest of my chocolate, throwing the paper mug in a trashcan few meters from us, lighting a joint, sighing deep as I blew out the smoke

Ruby: She quickly followed me Am I annoying you?

Daniel: I smiled softly No…. it takes much more to annoy me I reached the joint to her and smiled softly as she grabbed it and puffed it

Ruby: So don't tell me you have absolutely no problem with them sitting as close as they do right now? I actually think he's holding her hand? I mean, I have seen pics of the old Danny before, but that thing over there…. he's definitely her type.

Daniel: Yeah, I know.

Ruby: She smiled at me softly, almost like she pitied me

Daniel: I let my eyes fall back to Sparkle and Danny. Yup, he was holding her hand, and she was laughing at whatever he had just said. A lot. About an hour later I found myself, tipsy, at Sparkles place. We had agreed going to her place, as the cold had only gotten worse. And the now drunk Sparkle, had been running around taking pics of us all. I was no longer mildly annoyed by this evening, but full on irritated. I just needed my bed and a good night joint. Or to stick my dick in someone. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and quickly typed a message to Congo, smiling cheekily as he answered back a few seconds later

Congo: 'Yeah, I'm awake… are you okay?'

Daniel: 'Yeah. Stuck at Sparkles place, watching her and her new boy toy dancing. I'm bored with this night.'

Congo: 'Wanna come over?'

Daniel: 'Mmmh yeah, I could really need a place to stick my dick right now'.

Congo: 'I'm sure we can figure something out'.

Daniel: 'Sweet! I'll be there in 15!'

Congo: 'Daniel, please don't drive.'

Daniel: 'Nah, my bike is back at the university, don't worry, I'll call a cab.'

Congo: 'Thank you. I'll see you soon.'

Daniel: 'Yep. See you! Stay warm!'

Congo: 'Daniel, just lock yourself in, I'll be in the master bedroom.'

--------Congo's point of view----------

Congo: I was very tired, and had actually been asleep, but I could feel through the sms that he was frustrated. He had grown quite fond of her, so watching her with someone else was probably bound to bring his mood down. I turned around in bed slowly, I was very gentle not to wake Evan, as I lifted his hand from my hip. He was sleeping deep, I could hear that on his breath, but still wanted to be careful, just to be sure. He needed sleep on top of that night. It had ended well after the good news about the mate bond. But it had still drained him both mentally and physically. So he needed all the rest he could get. I silently got up, not bothering to put clothes on, as I knew it would come off soon anyway, and so I walked silently around the bed, bending down, planting a soft kiss on Andy's forehead.

Andy: He moaned softly Whaaat?

Congo: I smiled warmly and stroke his hair Sleep sweetheart. I'll go upstairs. Daniel sms'd, he will come by soon. So I'll go upstairs with him.

Andy: He nodded sleepy Okay… have fun he smiled warmly and turned to his other side, snuggling his face in Evan's armpit with a soft smile. I knew how the smell of both of us made him feel safe.

Congo: As I passed the fireplace on my way to the 3rd floor, I quickly threw a few more logs on, to keep the house warm till the morning. Then I grabbed a couple of water bottles, a sandwich and a can of whipped cream, quickly making my way to the master bedroom at the 3rd floor. Lighting a few candles around the room, to bring a cozy atmosphere. I laid down on the middle of the bed, opening a drawer in the small night stand, grabbing a lube, slowly preparing my hole. Stroking my dick to get hard, gently circling my entry before slowly gliding a finger inside, moaning softly. With the other hand I grabbed the can of whipped cream. I absolutely hated the taste of most can foods, but both Daniel and Andy seamed to love the stuff, as long as they could use it as a foreplay. So I chuckled softly as I made a thick ring of it around my dick, and a small dot on each of my nipples. It was a total kliche, but these things always seemed to send both of them right off. So here I were, reminding myself of a stuffed turkey. I smiled softly as I heard the front door, this was gonna be good. I added another finger, slowly stretching myself as I heard footsteps in the hallway, moaning softly at the thought of Daniel coming home.

Daniel: He opened the door rather quick, chuckling loudly as his conversation went on, and as he turned his face towards me, he froze. Oh!

Robert: Bumped into Daniel as Daniel stopped, chuckling warmly Oh sorry I didn't see you ther… he froze as well as he saw me on the bed.

Congo: I think it's safe to say this was one of the more embarrassing moments of my life, and I quickly got out of bed, grabbing a shirt from the floor, I used to desperately cover most parts of my naked body with. Not easy when you're caught of guard with shaky hands

Daniel: I'm so sorry, I ran into Robert in the drive way, and as I woke you up I assumed you were just snoozing here in bed until I would join you.

Robert: He chuckled warmly, clearly amused as he judging by his rather insecure wobbly legs had had more than plenty to drink

Congo: I sighed softly No harm done I guess, but I'm gonna go take a shower and get this stuff off me.

Daniel: He nodded with a small apologizing smile We will be downstairs for a drink

Congo: I nodded without looking at them, as I made my way to the bathroom, quickly turning on the tap in the shower cabin, sighing deeply as I got under the hot water, leaning my forehead against the wall. As much as I liked seeing Robert being more open minded towards gay love, I really wished I hadn't answered my phone when Daniel messaged. I sighed softly and started washing my body, all of the whipped cream was gone already, but it left as sticky feeling on my skin. As I was done washing my body I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes, just letting the hot water caress my body. I quickly got stuck in thoughts of the mate bond, and the things Akin had said about Andy. So many things suddenly fell into place. I was happy with this new turn. Specially since Evan seemed to already open up. We had shared amazing sex, and even if we hadn't penetrated each other, a stronger bond had definitely grown between us. I smiled softly and thought of how he had leaned against me during sex, how I had observed him swim away in us, fully enjoying the satisfaction. My thoughts started drifting and for the next minutes I cannot remember what I was even thinking of, my thoughts were just moving around without me paying much attention. I was just, relaxing. Drifting away. But then I felt someone locking their lips around my dick. I moaned softly. Daniel. He had come back just as I had started getting hard. He always had a great timing like that, like he knew when I was hard. I sighed soft and relieved, digging my fingers into his hair. Hair? I quickly opened my eyes, but as water splashed into them I didn't see who it was at first, but as the door to the bathroom suddenly opened I clearly saw everything play out in front of my eyes. And I wish I hadn't.

Andy: Congo… can we join you… HOLY SHIT!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?! Something definitely got knocked over and broke as it hit the floor RO-ROBERT?!?! SHIT FUCK!!! EVAN!!! DON'T COME OUT HERE!!!!

Evan: What happe…. DAD?!?!?!

Congo: I looked at Robert kneeling in front of me, hardly believing my eyes, as his hand was still locked around my dick. Then my eyes found Andy and his horrified face, as he tried holding on to Evan, who mostly looked like he wanted to run to the moon.

Robert: I uh… he somehow managed to drag his drunken ass up from the ground, letting go of my dick, stumbling few steps towards Evan and Andy

Evan: Just looked at him with disbelief written all over his face

Andy: What the fuck is going on in here?!

Congo: I groaned and shook my head

Daniel: WOAH WOAH WOAH He laughed out loud as he joined the way too crowded bathroom I did NOT see that one coming! He pointed at Roberts wet clothes, then me, then Robert, me, Robert, me and started wiggling his eyebrows. Then a loud moan escaped his lips as Evan punched him straight in the face, making Daniel take few steps backwards, tripping over the tub, and landing on his ass inside it with a loud bump and a whimper

Andy: Looked at Robert and me with a glare as I watched Evan turn to leave the room, but he slipped, probably in the sea of water that was slowly gathering on the floor from Robert's wet clothes

Evan: He slammed face forwards down on the tile floor, yelping out loud as he turned to his side and grabbed his left hand with his right hand, yammering from pain. And then I noticed it, a piece of glass had cut into the pillow under his thumb

Andy: Evan! Oh fuck!!! He quickly grabbed Evan's wrist and looked at Evan with worried eyes Hold still please!! What the fuck do I do here?!?! He looked desperately at me, Robert, Daniel, then Evan's hand A bit of fucking help could be useful here!!!!

Lenny: He suddenly came bursting through the open door What's going on? Is everyone alright? I heard Evan screaming?! He quickly noticed the glass in Evan's hand Oh… I guess that would explain it. May I? He nodded at Andy and the hand

Andy: Yeah… I… he hesitated few seconds then let go of Evan's wrist

Lenny: Hmm… okay he turned Evan's hand a bit it looks bigger than it is, I doubt you will need stitches, and I know you aren't much for hospitals… I can get it out for you and clean it if you want? He looked questioning at Evan

Evan: Grunted and hissed from pain

Andy: Do it dad… please!!

Lenny: Alright… he smiled soft at Andy do you have a tweezer here somewhere?

Andy: He nodded and quickly found the first aid kit in the closet under the sink, handing it to Lenny with shaky hands Is he gonna be alright dad? He looked at Lenny with anxious eyes and pulled his mohawk nervously. It had been a long time since I last saw him do that, which explained well just how much this was messing him up. And it was partially my fault.

Lenny: He's gonna be as good as new sweetheart, relax. I have pulled all sorts of things out of your body when you were kid. Always climbing trees, getting splinters in your hands and feet. He chuckled softly and grabbed a disinfection spray, spraying it lightly on Evan's hand.

Evan: Moaned out in pain

Lenny: Sorry darling, I'll try to be more gentle. He smiled softly at Evan, and stroke his cheek a single time Alright, I'll remove the glass now. Luckily it's mostly out of your skin, it didn't cut deep, so it shouldn't hurt much. Just take a deep breath, please.

Evan: He nodded softly and did as Lenny told him, and I watched him cringe as Lenny pulled out the glass carefully

Lenny: Alright, it's over. I'll just spray it a couple more times to clean it, and put a small bandage on. As he was done about a minute later, he smiled softly at Evan You're all good again now, smile darling.

Evan: He grunted and glared at Lenny

Lenny: What's wrong? He slowly got up, and as he did he seemed to notice me, Daniel and Robert… quickly connecting the dots between me and Robert. Ahh… he frowned softly Andy… will you please get Evan to bed? I'll clean up here.

Andy: But dad…

Lenny: Andy… leave. I had never seen this face on him before, it was very firm, and I feared what was to come next. Daniel, help them downstairs and then go home.

---------Andy's point of view------------

Daniel: He didn't say anything, he just quickly got up, and helped me support Evan as we walked downstairs, in the kitchen, George was drinking some water

George: Oh, what happened? Are you guys

Andy: Don't ask! I shook my head and nodded towards the third floor, and then the roar met my ears

Lenny: WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!?! WE USE SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING FOR THE BOYS LAST NIGHT, AND THEN TODAY YOU DECIDE TO TEAM UP IN THE SHOWER?!?! TWO GROWN MEN, ACTING LIKE TEENAGERS!!! I couldn't hear what the answer back was, but the second time my dad yelled, it was even louder I DON'T REALLY CARE ROBERT! THERE'S JUST THINGS YOU DON'T DO UNLESS THERE HAS BEEN GIVEN SOME SORT OF GREEN LIGHT!!! YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! SO MUCH TIME WASTED ON PATCHING THINGS UP WITH YOUR KID, AND THEN YOU DO THIS?! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING HERE??!!

Daniel: Andy… let's go! He started dragging Evan towards the stairs

Andy: I quickly nodded agreeing and we all three fled downstairs, Evan and I quickly crawling up in bed, both of us only wearing boxers, so we were getting chilly

Daniel: I'm sorry if I in any way caused all of that. I'll leave before I mess more up tonight.

Evan: Please stay!

Andy: I looked at him concerned Are you sure?

Evan: He sighed deeply Yeah… I'm fine. I mean he sighed deep I could just really need a joint, and Daniel is the joint holder.

Daniel: He quickly grabbed his joint tin and threw it to Evan Take what you need, I'm sure you don't wanna look at my face right now. I really fucked up royally this time, so I'll just be next door if anyone needs me.

Evan: He frowned and sighed softly I would like you to stay. Please. He padded the bed next to him and sighed softly

Andy: Are you sure? I smiled at him softly

Evan: Yeah… I just need peace around me, please. I just can't deal with any drama. I just wanna lay down, with my mate, and relax he smiled at me softly and lit the joint

Andy: My stomach tickled as he called me his mate and I smiled bright, planting a soft kiss on his forehead

Daniel: Looked at us hesitating, then took off his hoodie, letting it dump to the floor, kicked off his boots, and then he crawled into bed, next to Evan, grabbing a joint and lighting it. Then quickly handing it to Evan.

Andy: We were just done smoking as Congo came down the stairs a bit hesitating, walking up to the bed rather shameful Evan… I eh… I had nothing to do with it. He was just suddenly there. But… your dad was very drunk, and very lonely I think… I don't think he really thought it through…. it just, happened.

Evan: He sighed softly and got up on his knees, reaching towards Congo, grabbing one of his hands gently Hey… can we just pretend it didn't happen, please? My brain is way too tired to deal with this… and that was before the joint he chuckled softly Besides we're good.

Congo: He smiled softly Are you sure?

Evan: He crawled a bit closer, planting both his hands on Congo's cheeks, caressing them softly This is how sure I am. He leaned in slowly, and planted a tender kiss on Congo's lips

Daniel: Eeeey he smiled cheekily and bit his lips

Andy: I chuckled hoarse and shook my head

Daniel: What? Not allowed to say eey any longer?

Evan: He smiled softly at Congo as he let go of him I didn't assume you had anything to do with it, and I kinda expected my dad to be very drunk to end up like that… so everyone is forgiven. I just…. can we just not talk about it, please? I don't want it replaying in my head… and I don't wanna see him right now either. I'm afraid I might just throw up. Sorry, not that there's anything yucky about you. But it really grossed me out! I mean… you and I… and then you and him… it's kinda like sharing…. he frowned deep

Daniel: Woah woah woah!! Does this mean you two fucked??!?! HA! I knew it!!!

Andy: I slapped his forehead No they didn't, not that it's any of your business. And this was your only warning. Next time you let your mouth run, I'll kick you out in the dog house to sleep! Is that understood? I glared at him and chuckled hoarse

Daniel: Yes master! He grinned wide and I could feel his boner against my butt cheek as he turned to his side. This was going to be a long night!

#unicornmanes #Sparkle Diamondsheart #Sparks #Daniel Chase Hartwig #Andycorn #Andy Shaw-Thompson #Danny Rook #Ruby Darling #Congo Shaw #Robert Thompson #Evan Thompson #Leonard Cullman #Lenny #George Cullman

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wiseoldowl72 · 2 years

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Finally posting my Day 5 prompt. Just finished editing today.

Suptober Day 5 - A Perfect Disaster

World War Me

Whooh oh oooh this is world war me

Wooh oh oooh I will never find peace

I look into the mirror and I hate what I’ve become…

~Theory of a Deadman

Dean Winchester was a Junior at the University of Kansas, located in his hometown of Lawrence, Kansas. For as long as he could remember everything in his home revolved around mental and physical control. His father, John, treated Dean like a soldier instead of a living, breathing child. John was a Marine, a “Boo-Yah” type of Marine, the effects from bootcamp and ‘Nam lingered.

Right before a game against the Kansas State Wildcats, when Dean should have been getting ready in his dorm to go meet the team, memories surged to the surface. He was completely paralyzed as he looked into the full length mirror and realized who he was now, compared to the life he had always had with John.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sammy, Dean’s little brother by 4 years, believed that John never knew how to parent. Dean was told from as long as he could remember that it was his job to take care of his little brother. Dean was to be the strong one. Always supposed to be making sure they both followed the rules.

John ruled the house with an iron fist. Mary Winchester always did her best to be there for her boys. She was the one who mediated the arguments. She negotiated punishments. When John was being controlling over food because the boys didn’t follow a rule, it was Mary who snuck a piece of pie to Dean at bedtime.

The summer before Dean started high school Mary died after battling breast cancer for several years. While Sammy sought refuge in his books and studies, John took to the bottle and started molding Dean into the man he wanted him to be. Young teens should not be coddled, like Mary tried to do, they should be hardened, Dean remembered his Dad saying like a mantra.

John had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would play a sport in high school. He never felt his oldest had dedicated himself to something that would help his future. Several schools in Kansas were known for their sports. Dean would rather hang out with his friends, kick or toss a ball around, or maybe play a game of basketball with whomever was available.

The way Dean chose a sport really came down to which one might earn him a scholarship. He had the speed and coordination to handle a basketball, as well as play the strategic part of the game which meant getting the most baskets. He enjoyed making his own shots and setting them up for others.

John encouraged his son’s involvement in the sport and hoped it would put some iron in his backbone. Dean had always had the kind of looks that attracted attention: honey blond hair, green eyes, and a symmetrical face made him picked on by girls and guys alike. John absolutely wanted to instill in Dean the proper roles for men. Dean mentally shrank at the brutal lessons of what it was to be a man. To have steel in your backbone, to be a soldier, fight your own fights, and not be a fairy. He rarely looked at his back because of the scars from the metal end of a belt.

John’s own father left when he was growing up. He couldn’t wait to join the JROTC in high school so he could be around strong men and other boys that liked what he did. He knew he was going to Vietnam and didn’t want to go there unaware. While in the JROTC he learned to be regimented, follow orders, protect himself from attackers, give as good as you got, and, best of all, the girls flocked to the teenagers in uniform.

Since his mother was gone, Dean didn’t have a shield from John’s very strict opinions. He often felt the bite of a belt because he came in too late on a school night, or because John felt he was getting too much attention from his classmates because of his looks. He was also punished when he didn’t make sure his brother was taken care of while his Dad was at work. Somehow John managed to keep a job at the Lawrence Paper Company, though Dean never understood how when there were so many empty bottles strewn around the house. When John wasn’t at work, he usually was at the bar trying to drink Mary’s memory away. It wasn’t uncommon for John to show up in the early hours of the morning and pass out on the sofa, vomit on the floor next to him. Dean frequently thought about how their family went from four and fairly stable, to three barely surviving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As high school began Dean avoided at least some of his father’s wrath by settling on basketball. It was a man’s sport and in Kansas it brought scholarships, kept the boys out of trouble, and was a source of pride. A Midwestern Kansas boy should be exploring his options, playing the field by dating every girl he could, and John wanted Dean to use his position on the basketball team to all its advantages.

By Dean’s senior year he was the captain of the Lawrence High Chesty Lion Varsity Basketball team, excelling in the position of point guard. He wasn’t the tallest on the team, but at just over 6 ft he was well rounded and dependable and put points on the board, making him a good choice the position. John kept pounding the importance of All-American values into his oldest son, only praising him when he earned accolades on the court.

Dean had done his part by his father’s standards. He’d gone as high as he could go in high school basketball and had multiple offers to various universities. His grades were good and he had a GPA that allowed him to have his pick of degrees when the time came. He never had a lasting relationship throughout his high school years. Though he always had his pick of girls, he focused on school and basketball. The scars on his back reminded him not use his handsome features to try to get his way with someone or something. Hard work was how you eventually made it in this world.

At Signing Day Dean accepted a full ride scholarship to KU to play basketball for the Jayhawks. The transition from high school to college was everything Dean needed. He worried about leaving Sammy home with John, but really it wasn’t an issue: Sam kept to himself and his books. He was going to get a full academic scholarship, Dean was sure of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life was uneventful until Sophomore year when the new Spirit Squad was announced. Dean passed his classes and decided on an engineering degree. He’d always wanted to know how everything worked. Now he had the opportunity to learn. He loved being on the court with the team, and didn’t bemoan the fact he didn’t have a social life. Life was so exciting with the JayHawks being a Division I team and traveling a lot. Practice took up much of his time, and if he wasn’t on the court he was in the library working on his class assignments.

One afternoon the Coed Spirit Squad was running their routines before the Jayhawks took the court. Dean dressed for practice in the locker room and, head down thinking about the upcoming team drills, and took his seat in the seats. Hearing the Rock Chalk Chant always made his spirit sing and he look up to see where the Squad was located on the court. That’s when Dean saw a man that made him stop and stare in a way he hadn’t in a long time.

He tried not to ogle at him as his insides twisted with the beginnings of desire. It had been a long time since anyone had done that. He made out with with female sensual bodies because that’s what he was molded to do. Eat, play the dating field, play basketball, keep your grades up, strive to get a good job, be dependable, and have steel in your spine were the commandments that made living with John survivable. But… this feeling of attraction brought on by looking at a male was so foreign. What was he supposed to do with feelings that completely contradicted his ingrained values? Especially when the person in question ticked all Dean’s boxes: a lean body; messy, almost black hair; blue eyes; and a smile that lit up the room.

John hammered home that boys liked girls and this new age “Love is Love” shit was just that: shit. It wouldn’t be tolerated in his home, especially now that Mary had died. That sentiment was all well and good until it didn’t work. Dean really didn’t enjoy sleeping with the girls. Sure it felt good, and what teenage boy doesn’t deal with his urges somehow, but one hand, the purple bottle and a sock for clean up only go so far. Dean didn’t know what it meant, only that not really being interested in girls beyond just noticing their beauty was important somehow.

Hours later after practice he stood freshly showered in his dorm room and questioned what he knew. This man, who Dean didn't even know his name, made him feel twitches inside that girls never did. Dean felt his iron spine bending and he didn’t understand why. He wanted to meet this man, see the smile on his face light up when Dean grinned at him and ran his hands through his hair to get it off his forehead. He wondered if the man liked girls or could possibly have topsy-turvy insides for guys. He would see the Coed Spirit Squad at every game, so Dean had to make sure he stayed focused on his game to help get the Jayhawks to the playoffs again this year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean felt completely uneasy in his own skin. Months went on, he pounded his feet on the court scoring points, hearing only the squeak of his shoes and the crowd roar as the team made baskets. Allen Fieldhouse was notorious for its noise level to support their team. The Spirit Squad only riled them up more making it difficult to hear anything but your own thoughts. Dean continued performing at the peak level his father demanded, and yet he kept finding himself looking toward the sidelines at the Spirit Squad. Was that man he couldn’t stop thinking about there? What was he doing? Was he looking at anybody between cheers, chants and stunt routines? Dean wanted the man to look at him. Did he feel anything the way Dean did? Did he know what those feelings meant?

This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Dean was expected to check out the ladies, to find one to warm his bed for a bit. But he didn’t want one of the female squad members, he kept coming back to messy head and blue eyes. He dreamt about them. He even masturbated to the image in his mind’s eye in the shower. In his deepest thoughts he admitted he thought the man was beautiful.

Castiel Novak. That was his name, and he was a year behind Dean in school and an English major. Dean had bribed one of the Coed Spirit Squad ladies with a dinner date to get this precious information. He felt like such a sucker using her this way. If this had been high school and in a world with John constantly in his head, the night would have ended with her warming his bed. Now though, the thought repulsed him.

Oddly enough, once Dean went to KU, lived in the dorms, and spent his time at Allen Fieldhouse, John mostly just disappeared from his daily life. He would show up at games and always sat where Dean could see every muscle and hardened lines of his face. If the night went well, John stayed through the whole game and clapped his son on he back and told him good job. If not, well, the seat was empty well before the game ended. Dean knew he had disappointed his Dad, even though he was always praised by the coaches for doing a good job for the team. The memories of all the times he let down his family flooded back and Dean wondered if he had even grown up at all.

For a year, Dean could never bring himself to talk to Castiel when he saw him at, or around, the Fieldhouse. He mostly avoided any situation where he would have to talk to anyone unless he had to. He spent this year searching his inner self and talking to queer people on campus, sitting in on campus support groups trying to suss out his feelings on women and men. Each time he tried to open up, John’s words echoed in his head that he was never going be a man. He wasn’t strong enough, mentally, physically or emotionally to do the hard work that he to succeed. He didn’t follow the rules.

In the end he realized he was everything John despised.

Still staring at his dorm room mirror and terrified about his current memories and thoughts, if John saw him now he’d take the metal end of the belt to him. Possibly he would also punch and kick him to make the point he’s a pansy, not a man. Dean hated that he would be such a disappointment to the one person he always took orders from. He doesn’t recognize the man in the mirror. The man looking back at him was a walking disaster. If John ever found out that Dean wasn’t the soldier he was molded to be, it might be Dean at the end of the bottle. He hated the voices in his head. He wanted to quiet them once and for all, but the consequences of shutting John out were completely unknown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean dressed for the locker room and grabbed his duffle, he took a final look in the mirror and told himself out loud, that all this ended tonight. He’s would talk to Castiel for the first time and see if they can go out after the game. He’d deal with John and his opinions when the time came.

#suptober22 #day 5 prompt #my 3rd fic #fanfic #destiel #ao3

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rigelmejo · 2 years

Text

Read approximately ~26,000 characters this weekend! (7/33 parts of the 124,000 character pingxie fic 夜半衣寒)

This particular story I'm reading extensively, on edge app *yes fuck I know* because Microsoft Edge has a very nice sounding TTS voice I'm using to listen to as I read along. So no word lookup on this one.

Happy to report to past me of 1 and 2 years ago: I understand this story much better now, it's as good as I remember, and very fun to catch all the details now. Also yes past me, you will eventually understand the details at speaking speed. Wooh! We are at this writers writing level! I can read 夏灬安兰 writing extensively now! (Also if you like pingxie fanfic I highly recommend this writer, their fanfic is on jjwxc, I love their world building aus that stay true to character and supernatural setting but also tell a new original story, 寒舍 is so freaking good, if I can finish this shorter fic I might go back to 寒舍 which is like 300k characters...)

Also very interesting personally to me? When I listen to the audio as I read certain "confusing" aspects of sentences seem to just be easier to understand. Like idioms and descriptive adjective words I have a much better guess of their meaning when I'm listening to the audio. I think part of it may be, I've read Iike 200 chapters by this author before so I have literally seen all these descriptives before, and looked them up in pleco and heard their pronunciation before. So I think the combo or both seeing them again (with vague recall) combined with hearing them again (and that vague recall) makes it easier for me to recognize them again. And they say like 12 times or less to remember a word so I'm guessing I'll have these phrases/adjectives learned soon if I don't already!

And verbs/nouns, I think because the audio moves me through a Full Sentence as One Whole quickly, become very clear in context. So even when I am running into unknown verbs and nouns in this, I'm able to figure them out in the context of the sentence and so that's been nice. I think maybe me slowing down my reading tended to make those kinds of words harder. Which is perhaps a lesson for me in rhe future: read a whole sentence before I decide I can't figure a word out. Because I'll probably get the word if I just finish reading the sentence.

A benefit of reading with the audio playing (both for this and 镇魂) is definitely the help it's giving me to remember hanzi pronunciations. That's always my weak spot, and my audio memory is decent once I hear things, so this is really helping.

Another observation: it is truly so funny to me how reading feels really Really reminiscent of how reading felt in my native language in English from about age 10 to 14. I remember in English, as a child so maybe 6-8 my dad got me these books on various school subjects to learn new stuff which you could click to have the toy read the sentences out loud, which helped me get much better at reading. (Which is lol literally what I'm doing now in chinese just better tech nowadays). And then around 3rd grade so like age 9 or right before, my dad sort of just pushed reading me Harry Potter before bed cause he was trying so hard to get me interested in reading. Eventually it paid off, I got interested in the story and annoyed we went so slow through the book since he only read a chapter at a time, so I picked up the book and read it myself. I don't remember the experience or how hard the book felt, but I know after that I got Into reading properly and read some James Mitchener Alaska novel of my dad's (just like 50 pages) which felt Hella similar to reading chinese advanced stuff now, read some Stephen King and Anne Rice and Stephen Hawking and Benjamin Franklin and just little bits of anything on my parents bookshelves (which all felt a bit like reading chinese does now). And then i was in 3rd grade and they placed me at high school reading level so i was in some advanced class that got sent to another school on Wednesdays to study at the higher level (reading and math maybe some other stuff). I remember in my class the kids like me who got sent off on Wednesdays got harder reading book assignments that whole year, and all years after in elementary. I remember either at beginning of middle school or right before I read Harry Potter 2-5 in like a week so I could get 6 when it came out (which was a premonition really of how motivating me to want to read X will get me to do a Lot apparently). And then by middle school I was reading at college level.

I remember just some point of being in middle school and discovering you know harder various novels and realizing I could go get whatever I wanted, and discovering fanfiction online and distinctively I remember seeing the words "melancholy" "angst" "macabre" and some particular in- words which I kept confusing that I actually bothered to Google the definition for because in both fanfic and Edgar Allen Poe class was making me read I just kept NOT figuring out precisely rhe nuance of those fucking words beyond "sad ish?" Which to be honest... is how I ended up remembering and learnjng most words anyway, as ultimately "synonym of X word or similar to Y word PLUS this particular feeling/vibe it gives me." But aside from a few struggle words, I picked up pretty much all the reading-level-leap vocabulary by context and guessing and steamrolling through.

I assume a partial reason I find the "ambiguity" of reading in a foreign language tolerable even when ambiguity is fairly High as a beginner, because in English I really just... did the same fucking thing. Yes I had more words in English (I think 10 year olds know about idk ~10,000 words in their native language). But I went from reading Hop on Pop Dr Seuss almost exclusively, to finally HP which got me to cave and try out (the much easier) Bunnicula and Catwings and book series with the kids who keep thinking ppl are supernatural creatures, then from there school threw me in the deep end so I just went okay then and picked up Whatever I Wanted and just would sit and chug through it (James Mitchner novels are so densely enjoyable as historical fiction but oh my god as an articulate educated well read adult I still run into plenty of unknown words like geological terms and historical objects and yet little 10 year old mejo was chugging through 50 pages of that with way less vocabulary than I know now).

So yeah, reading French felt like going through this process again too. But it was so Fast it almost felt like magic at times tbh (I did so little French study after year 1 it still blows my mind that's all that was needed to read), I'd just keep trying and trying to read and each time I just *could* read significantly better than the time before. Until about 2+ years in when reading in French started feeling just like english. At most it sometimes does feel like I'm in high school reading an unfamiliar adult author or subject when I pick up some French, but never really that "sink or swim and figure it out" kind of lost feeling.

Maybe part of it too is I'm definitely a jack of all trades more than a specialist (except when it comes to drawing character concept art/illustration, noting characterization, and writing/drawing/acting regarding characterization cause then yes I'm a mega specialist ToT). By this I mean, when I learn most topics I learn for usage more than recall of specific words or details. When I study any topic I study to figure out how it works, how to do it, how to explain how it works/teach how to do it if needed. I learn the minimum to do the needed tasks first (how's it work/how to do it) before remembering any finer details. I can't remember shit about quantum physics or the terms I had to recognize to read about it, but when I was studying it I knew enough of what it was and how to do quantum physics problems because that's what I needed to be able to do. I learned all about computers and how to fix them, and oh boy can I. I can also explain to a NON learner how to do the steps TO fix one. But I didn't remember the specific terms for a lot of the shit I do, or explain how to do - because I don't need to say the terms to Fix the computer and to a person who never learned them I can only tell them how yo follow my directions in simple language they'll understand. So I recognize the terms for computer objects when Others say them, or when I read about them or need to look up how to fix a new issue. But I don't keep specialist terms in my active vocabulary as I rarely use them in explanations to the average person I help (and if I do its only if they ask because they want to learn to look it up and fix it themselves more later) and I rarely use the terms myself unless I need to look up additional info for some very specific problem I don't already know how to fix. That's how I handle most of my English vocab. Now that I'm not in economics classes I forgot a bunch of words in "everyday use" for myself except inflation. But I can still read the specialized terms and recognize them and look them up to use them again if i need to have a particular on subject discussion. But I just do not tend to use my active memory to remember that kind of stuff, and I will lose active vocabulary if it stops being needed daily even if it's in English. I am good at learning, specifically learning to Do stuff. And I'm good at explaining, but explaining in the simplest terms because generally in life I run into situations where I'm explaining to people unfamiliar with specific terms (and in which the rare times specific terms come up its more often me defining and Explaining their simpler definition, because a student has run into X specialized environmental science term or geometry or calculus term and got themselves confused cause they forgot or never grasped what the specialized term meant). So I guess... idk... how I conceptualize things in English isn't actually a lot different from how I did growing up, and it's pretty similar to how I approach new languages vocabulary now too.

Tldr lol. Just the whole experience of reading chinese, and grasping all details but knowing I don't know X quite specifically, reminds me of my first time reading a Stephen King novel or Anne Rice novel or James Mitchner novel or Dracula, as a preteen and teen. I overall grasp all the details and enjoy the story, but there's also some degree of vagueness where some words are angst "probably sad related" or macabre "probably death related" or melancholic "probably depressed mood related" mahogany "probably red/wood related" vermillion "some kind of red" but they don't have a clearly defined niche of meaning in my mind yet. It's just sort of neat to really notice the process as an adult.

#rant #reading #reading progress #in another life (or thus one if i ever can) i think it would be so cool to study linguistic #id love to study more into how humans learn language and conceptualize it

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nexyra · 3 years

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What is your take on rwby chara's mbti types? I think

Weiss - xSTJ, thought that she was ESTJ at first but ISTJ makes a lot of sense too.

Winter - ESTJ

Pyrrha - ESFJ

Emerald - ISFJ (I've seen some ppl type her as INFJ but I don't see how she is a Ni dom?)

Whitley - ENTJ? I'm honestly not sure abt that..

Adam - fucked up xNFJ, probably INFJ (seen him typed as xNTJ but his delusional thinking process imo screams unhealthy Ti and I think his manipulation of Blake and the WF is more Fe than Te

Qrow - was thinking ISTP but with the more recent volumes I'm really not sure..

Penny - ENFP

Ozpin - Uuuuuh INTP maybe?? But I've seen some people type him as INFJ. INFJ 5w6 would make sense as to why he might appear as an INTP but idk..

Bartholomew- ENTP

Jaune - no fucking idea honestly

Ironwood - ENTJ

Sun - Seen ppl type him as ENFP but I don't see any Ne at all..,,ESFP?

Yang - ESxP, maybe ESTP

Cinder - INTJ

Mercury - ISTP

Oscar - ISFJ

Ren - ISTx?

Hello anon ! I see my love for typology hasn't gone unnoticed 😂 Thank you so much for the ask !

I prefer enneagram over MBTI because I find it easier to type; so fair warning that I'm not an authority on MBTI-typing. But I do have have an ongoing RWBY typing that includes MBTI sooo... here goes !

(I'm putting my ennea typings along with it, but not explaining them on this post)

➸ RWBYJNPR

Ruby • xNFP 6w7 9w1 2w3?

I just can't decide between the two fors Ruby because... it kind of goes both way ??? Like Ruby definitely feels as INFP for the first half of the series; she's got a clear Fi > Ne preference... But then when she develops her Tert in V6 it's just... Te ? And she really doesn't show much Si actually she fits more the Si inf vibe in the form of forgetting about bad memories and her mom until people dig it up and she's like "nooo !" ?? So it looks like Te > Si but also Fi > Ne; conclusion idfk

Weiss • ISTJ 1w2 6w5 3w4 sp/so

Clear Fi tert rearing its head along with the 1 so I'm going with ISTJ; I also never really saw any Ne. Her type isn't too disagreed upon so tell me if you want a lenghtier explanation.

Blake • ISFP 6w5 9w8 4w3 (in some order)

Wooh this might get the anger of some (i have experience with the INFJ typers) but Blake goddamn REEKS of Fi. Less so recently but for the first seasons oh my god. She straights up catch you by the shirt and tells you "I'm doing the right thing"; and said right thing is so heavily dependant on her own subjectives values, which is why Blake can't reconcile with the current White Fang; because she doesn't have a strong Je vision of "what objectively works in the end", she only sees actions in terms of immediate right and wrong, and this b&w dichotomy stems from herself. What the WF is doing is wrong and the circumstances don't matter for judging the morality of their actions (of course I'm not talking about murder here bc that's pretty wrong ALL THE TIME but for example the stealing occuring in V1 bc of the WF is a better example)

Yang • ESXP 7w8 8w7 2w3

I'm sorry about that but I can't help you on that aspect anon, I still can't make up my mind about whether Yang has Fi or Ti. I have seen arguments for both, and i'm not the best at picking up on Ti so it's hard for me to tell.

Jaune • ESFJ 6w7 3w2 9w1

No strong opinions on his MBTI, it's kinda just based on vibes

Nora • ENFP 6w7 9w8 3w2

Textbook ENFP, not much to say here x))

Pyrrha • XXFJ 2w1 1w2 6?

In my list Pyrrha is currently written down as ISFJ but that's mostly based on the general consensus and me wanting to get rid of the XX. I don't actually have any convincing arguments to decide on Ni or Si, so I could go either way if someone else makes their case well. I feel like she's Fe aux more than dom, but even about that I could change my mind. Pyrrha didn't have that much screentime in the end :((

Ren • ISTJ? 9w1 5w4 4w5

Ironically I'm not sure about his type, kind of like you. I've mentionned I'm not very good at picking up on Ti right ? And Ren was a background character before V4 really. I had him written down as ISTP for a while but I've seen some convincing arguments for ISTJ so I might lean toward that actually but who knows. The thing I'm very confident about is his 5 fix = )

➸ Faunus bonus

Sun • ESFP 7w6 2w3 9w1 so/sx

I don't see any Ne at all either so I don't understand the ENFP typings...?? Maybe the 7 stereotypes ? Imo Sun is just a very good boy; certified ESFP 7 himbo; triple positive sunshine !

Ilia • Ti-Fe axis ?

Again, not enough screentime for me to make an educated guess. My only certainty is : not high Fi. It's the source of their conflicts. Blake confidence in absolute right & wrong, tracing lines in the sand between acceptable & unacceptable. Whereas Ilia can only shake her head and say "Because it works", or cry out "I don't know what else to do !"

Adam • 3w4 8w7 6w5

I honestly don't really have much of an opinion about Adam's MBTI, i'm sorry anon ;; I don't know enough about how he thinks

➸ Oz-related things and his circle

Ozpin • INFJ 5w4 2w1 1w9

I would personally call him an INFJ. I... never really got INTP vibes from him ? I don't see the Fe inf work out with his interactions : he's always rather at ease, he knows how to navigate around people... His focus inherently lies on doing what's best for the "group", the people, humanity. Fx functions are both concerned with ethics, in different ways, and I think Oz reflects that well. He IS concerned with the moral weight of his actions, but it's a more adaptable and unpersonnal concern than Fi people. He regards Ironwood's soul machines as something wrong, but can still agree to use it if the situations demand it for example. So... if the INFJ + 5 makes sense to you, well that's what I'm typing him personally. I also feel like Ni fits him more than Ne. Ozpin has a very linear way of planning, he does use his fair share of symbolism in every day conversation... Even when taking decisions, he... kind of cares about the meaning of things a lot ? It's hard to explain but like; the way he highlights the difference between an army and a guardian, and the emotionnal response it brings. I don't know it feels like there's some Ni vibes in there x)

Oscar • ISFJ 9w8 6w7 3w2

Oscar's type honestly isn't the one I would have the easiest time explaining in lenght but yea. It's mostly vibes; also just like Ozpin he doesn't seem to have a particularly Fi reasonning. And he feels more grounded, I don't really remember any Ni so... yay ?

Ironwood • ENFJ 6w5 1w2 3w4 (pre-Vol8); ENTJ (post-Vol8)

Might be weird if you think he was a dictator from the start, but I kind of entertained the idea of Ironwood being Fe dom ? From his very first interaction it was very clear that he was a Je dom to me; he's all about objective results; he doesn't give off the "internal framework" or "personnal values" vibe AT ALL; so it was more a matter of picking Te or Fe. He LOOKS super Te don't get me wrong; but he also has an enneagram tritype that is very common amongst XXTJs (and TJs stereotypes thus derive from it). And just like Oz, his focus at all time seemed to be the greater good and doing what's best for the people still. So I was like... Eh, a "harsh" ENFJ I think that's interesting ? Plus Fe ethics actually derive from their environment, kinda like "everyone agrees that Y is wrong", and if you consider that James is from Atlas... Well his way of thinking and ethics align pretty well with the military.

His character took a turn for the worse in V8 (whether too quick or not depends on who you ask) and past that point he's a clear ENTJ; but I feel like it was more debatable before that. Idk though I might be overthinking this in the hope of making more interesting combinations xD

Qrow • ISTP 4w3 6w7? 1w9? sp/sx

I don't really see anything else than ISTP for Qrow... But he's not a character I would want to find Ti arguments for either.

Raven • ENTJ Cp6w5 8w9 3w4

Most villains get called ENTJ at the first occasions tbh zlqfznhqzkf but I think it fits Raven for the most part actually...

➸ Atlas

Winter • ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w5

The whole Schnee family has the same enneagram tritype in different order/different wings, it's ridiculous I think she has a higher Te than Weiss, and Fi inf fits her more. She struggles more to reconcile with her emotions and the idea of a personal right/wrong than her little sis.

Penny • ENFP 4w3 6w7 9w1 sx/so

Perfect example of a healthy 4, she's a great friend a cutie pie. ... Sorry we were talking about MBTI x) Well again, textbook ENFP. Not much to debate here.

Whitley • 3w4 1w9 6w5?

Not enough material for me to guess a MBTI type correctly either, sorry... I could see some kind of xNTJ yea but it's really just vibes and not enough concrete.

➸ Antagonists and Extras

Cinder • 8w7 3w4 6w5

Never cared to guess her MBTI type. I hereby type her as insufferable qkfqskfq. More seriously, I don't really know sorry Anon :/

Emerald • 2w3 ?w? ?w?

I never got Fe vibes from her tbh, I just think she's a 2. And Fe as a function is very infused with 2 stereotypes. So yea. Like, she isn't even that worried about the morality of her actions or anything more than the other villains. She just cares more about her personal relationships and being loved, so she automatically looks much nicer, especially with 2 mechanisms of trying to make herself useful and needed. Also because she's surrounded by 8-ish people xD

Mercury • 8w9 7w8 ?w?

ISTP doesn't sound too farfeteched, but I never MBTI-typed him either, sorry.

Bartholomew Oobleck • xSxJ 5w4

The only vibe he gave me is Si somewhere because of all his talks about learning from the past and everything repeats itself and it's a mine of informations at Mountain Glen... That's really the only time I tried to put down anything for him, and it was Si + 5. He could be some kind of xNTP nerd too for sure, but that's more vibe and I couldn't make an actual argument for it.

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abluescarfonwaston · 4 years

Text

“Damnit Lambert!” He coughed violently. Rolling over to curl in on himself. “Why didn’t you warn me you had a bad batch of tawny owl?”

He wrapped the cut on his leg. Scrapping guts off his armor. “What are you on about. It was fine.” He wanted to roll up into a ball too but the cramping was only going to get worse and they still had to get a trophy off the damn thing.

“This,” Aiden groaned pathetically. “Is not fine.

“This is what fucking tawny owl does Aiden!” The pain making him snappish. “It helps and then it wears off and you want to claw out your guts. That’s how it fucking works cause this life is a goddamn nightmare!” He stabbed between the vertebrae hard and severed its head quickly.

“Fuck what?” Aiden rolled over. Sounding extra pathetic about it which just pissed him off more honestly. “Who taught you how to make potions Lambert? Cause I need to stab them.”

He spun on him. Knife to his throat. “Don’t ever fucking threaten them Cat.”

Aiden watched him. His slow heart beating faster than Aiden’s. The stench of the corpse filling their noses. The potion curdling their guts. “Sorry.”

He hated that. How earnestly he apologized. He sat back against a rock. Stared at the things leathery skin. “Vesemir taught us.” Aiden waited. Or maybe he just couldn’t think of a response over the pain. “He was a fencing instructor. He taught us what he remembered but. It’d been a long time since he learned.”

“Lambert?” He groaned. “If this is what all your potions are like then destroying that bag would be an act of love for you and self-defense on my part.”

“They’re not. All this bad.” He defended but honestly some of them were far worse. “Swallow’s decent.”

“Lambert?” He grunted. “You’re a great fighter. But we are never using your potions again.”

He took a sip of the freshly made Petri’s Philter. To test it out. He’d made it like Aiden had shown him but it was the first time he’d done it himself.

“You cheater! Taking a potion before we spar!” Eskel cuffed him.

“I was checking if it came out right.” An idea popped into his head. “You can use one too. Petri’s Philter. See whose works better.”

“Not a fair comparison.” Geralt pointed out. “Eskels better at signs than the rest of us.”

“What are you scared?”

Eskel eyed him unimpressed but went to grab his. Took a swig. “How do we want to do this?”

“Who can toss Geralt the furthest?” He suggested ruefully.

Geralt’s protests when unheard as Eskel launched him into the base of a snowbank with Aard.

He glared at them. Covered in snow.

“Come on Geralt! It doesn’t count if we use a different person the second time.”

“I’m going to throw both you in the river.”

“Just the loser.” Eskel argued.

“Then I don’t get to throw you in.” He grumbled crossing the courtyard to them.

“Nah I’m willing to take that bet.” They both looked at him like he was being daft.

He adjusted his glove. Don’t fail me now Aiden. Launched Geralt into the air.

He landed with an oft and a puff of white snow. Halfway up the snowbank.

He grinned as they sputtered.

“Guess it works.”

“How’d you learn this Lambert?” Vesemir asked as he copied down the last recipe Aiden had had the chance to teach him.

“Found a cache with the information.” The cache was another witcher but he wasn’t going to tell them that.

“Right.” He felt Vesemir watching him. Not believing him.

He dug his heels in. He didn’t owe the old man answers. Didn’t breathe a word as a cold wind whipped through the giant hole in the wall. He wondered if the Cats had caused that one. He didn’t ask but he wondered.

“Aiden what did you use in this necrophage oil?” He sniffed the vial walking over to him.

He perked up from his disappointment over how many less necrophages he’d killed to tell him.

He laughed full bodied and loud. Aiden wasn’t smiling when he finally managed to stop, wiping a tear from his eye.

“I thought you were just shit at fighting but that’s garbage. What’s it supposed to do? Make them itchy? Impotent? Hurt their feelings?”

“Well how do you make them then?”

Next spring he wondered how many Cats were using Vesemir’s recipes.

“Damnit.” He cursed. Shoving the broken arm piece back together. Trying to sow the gash closed.

Aiden watched him from across the fire. Lazily rotating the fish they’d bombed from the water. “You really need to just replace that mutt.”

“Fuck off pussy I don’t have the diagrams on me and were nowhere near anyone who knows how to make it.”

“Well no one’s going to be able to figure out what it was supposed to look like from that.”

He stared at the mangled and ruined armor in his hands. His fingers dug in and the thread he’d used on it snapped. It fell back apart.

He tossed it away with a frustrated scream and ran. Ran until his lungs burned and his feet ached and the exhaustion finally over powered the anger.

Aiden was asleep in his bedroll. His fish still waiting for him- although they had long gone cold. He chewed the small bones not bothering to pick them out.

A small set of papers sat rolled next to it.

He unrolled it.

Kicked Aiden.

“I can’t fucking wear this!” He shoved the diagram back to him.

“It’d be just until you could get new armor. You can’t work in a shirt and pants.”

“Cause Cat armor is a huge step up from that!”

Aiden scowled at him. “Oh cause people thinking for half a second you might be a Cat is worth dying over. Just show off your medallion and bark at them. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

“You’re fucking right it is!” He grabbed his medallion and bared his teeth. “I’m not a Cat.”

They had murdered his school. Killed so many. Destroyed the closest thing he had to a home. It was a shitty home and he hated it. Some days he wished they’d finished the job. Some days he was glad he had a home at all.

Aiden face shuttered closed. “Well we can’t all be Wolves Lambert.”

In the morning he was long gone. The diagrams laying in the morning dew.

He picked them up.

However upset they’d be at him for wearing them wouldn’t match how upset they’d be if he didn’t come home. Probably.

He found a leatherworker and had a set made.

“What are you wearing?” Eskel blocked his entry. “I almost shot you Lambert.”

“Glad you didn’t.” He shoved him out of the way. “I’m tired. Piss off.”

He grabbed him. “If Vesemir sees you wearing that-“

“It was this or go without armor so Fuck Off Eskel.”

Eskel studied him. Let go. “Let me warn the others at least. You know that,” He motioned to the armor. “Is going to bring back bad memories.”

“Would you preferred I died out there?”

He raised his hands placating. “Didn’t say that. Happy you’re home.”

“Yeah well that makes one of us.”

No one asked about the armor. They left a set of wolf armor diagrams for him outside his door and he spent the winter in clothing and furs.

No one why he had cat armor. He didn’t offer to explain. He wouldn’t have answered if they did. Would have made it very clear it wasn’t a topic for discussion.

But no one asked.

He sat in his room and stared at it. It looked so similar to Aiden’s. Which of course it did.

We can’t all be wolves Lambert.

No. But why you have to be a cat? Anything else would have been fine.

He gasped short and quick and barely breathing at all. His eyes losing focus. Pinned to the tree by the dead monster’s antlers.

What a shitty way to go.

“Wooh. Glad I came. Thought I smelled wet dog.”

He raised his head. Vision spinning as he did.

A cat. His cat. Aiden.

The world went dark.

“Look who returns!” The fire popped as he opened his eyes. “Holding up alright?”

“Love questions like that.” He whispered as Aiden lifted his head and raised a potion to his lips. “Holding up? Holding up what? My dick?”

“Well you certainly are one so I wouldn’t put it past you.” The vial moved away. His head was lowered onto Aiden’s thigh.

“This is shit and you know it.”

“Yeah. It is.” Aiden craned his neck upward at the stars. “I was really looking forward to yelling at you.”

“Do it you pussy.”

“It’s no fun if your injured bitch.”

“What think I can’t take it?”

“Take what? My dick?” He chewed something loudly. “Come on. Even a lone hunter can use a helping hand some time.”

“Don’t quote Vesemir at me you prick.”

“Oh I’m a prick now? What an upgrade.” A different flask came back and he drank greedily. “And I wasn’t. Guxart said that.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“No. I like dicks Lambert. He was pussy.”

He chuckled. Which hurt. It pulled at his wounds.

“Did you know it was me?”

“Knew it was a wolf.” He dropped some of the jerky on his chest. He nibbled on it. “Hoped it was you.”

“Would you have helped? If it wasn’t.”

He was quiet while he considered. If he weren’t so tired it would piss him off. “Yeah. I would have.” He believed him. Because it was Aiden. “Glad it was you though.”

“Why?”

“Cause I missed my mangy mutt. Who else is going to teach me how to fish with bombs?”

“I started building a boat. So I could do it on the lake.” He was starting to feel hazy. Aiden’s potions sometimes had painkillers going for them. Which was nice. “At Kaer Morhen.”

“Bet it’s going to leak like a drunkard.”

“Yeah. Bet it will.” He thought of the lake and keep. “I hate that place.”

“Can’t say I understand why you go back.”

“Why do you go back?”

“Go back where? At best the cats have a traveling caravan of misery these days. I don’t visit.”

“What? But winter sucks.”

“Not going to argue with that.”

He had a brilliant idea. “Come home with me. We can sink my boat together.”

Aiden looked down at him. So sadly. He reached up for him in confusion.

“They’re assholes but the keeps pretty big so we can just avoid them. We can sleep in my room. I’ve got a lot of nice furs. It’s pretty. Please?”

“Sure Lambert. Sure.” He cupped the hand that had found his cheek. Kissed it. “Don’t worry. I won’t hold that against you in the morning.”

“If you were there maybe I could breathe. Cause.” It was really hard to keep his eyes open. His hand was heavy in Aiden’s. “The one good thing this life gave me. Was there.”

“Love you Lambert. Love you too.”

“I asked you to come with me.” He said weeks later.

“I surprised you remember. You were pretty loopy at that point. Do you remember explaining why pigeons were the best bird too? Cause that was pretty funny.”

“You’re lying.”

“You wish I was.”

He scowled at him. “I don’t remember your answer.”

“I said I wouldn’t hold you to it in the morning obviously. I’m not stupid.”

“Oh.” The horses crunched gravel as they continued on. “I did mean it. I want you to come.”

Aiden kept his eyes ahead. “We both know that doesn’t matter.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His horse picked up speed at his unintentional request. He tugged him in front of Aiden’s, halting him. “What I want doesn’t matter?”

“When has what we wanted ever mattered Lambert?” He flinched. Eyes stuck on Aiden’s reins. “It was very sweet of you. But the other wolves would kill me for being in twenty miles of Kaer Morhen and we both know it.”

He couldn’t look away from his dark scarred hands. “Why’d you have to be a cat?”

“Why’d you have to be a wolf?” He moved his horse so they were side by side. Took his hand. “We get three out of four seasons together. That’s pretty damn good.”

“I want more. I want more than this life.”

“Hey. Maybe if you build good enough boats we can.” His hand squeezed. “We could be the first. Retire on some big lake and fish with bombs.”

“With a little house infested with mice because we can’t convince any cats to come within ten feet of us?” He into his golden eyes and for the first time could understand why people called them beautiful.

“With a tiny little house with a leaking roof that you always curse at.”

“We’re never going to get that are we?” He didn’t comment on the tears in Aidens eyes or the blur in his own.

“No.” Aiden squeezed his hand. “But it’s a nice dream isn’t it?”

“It’s awful. Why did you make the roof leak?”

“Why did you fill it with mice?”

“Cause I want it to be real.”

“So do I.”

They clicked their horses forward. Not letting go.

“So this house. Smells like rat shit huh?”

“Yeah. And our clothing gets all mildewy cause we just throw it in the lake to wash it and forget to hang it up.”

“Ugh. I hate that.”

“Yeah it’s awful.”

“But it’s ours?”

“It’s ours.”

“I had a friend. Aiden was his name.”

“Gonna retire to your vineyard wolf?”

“I might.”

“Good for you. Make sure Dandelion writes a song about your beer gut.”

“Lambert-“

“Pardon my interruption gentlemen.” Majordomo stepped into the room. “A gentleman just arrived looking for Master Lambert. It seems urgent.”

“Lambert?” Geralt shot him a confused look.

“Hey don’t look at me! I don’t know!”

“Let’s go met your guest.”

They pushed the door open and he looked to the left. Geralt to the right.

“Who are you?” Geralt asked. He turned to the newcomer.

He exhaled. “Aiden.” When he inhaled it was like coming up for air for the first time in months.

Scarred. Hair long. Covering one eye.

Alive.

“Hey Lambert. Been a while.”

“You fucking heartless asshole!” He yelled as he lifted him off the ground in a crushing embrace. “How fucking dare you.”

“Missed you too bitch.” As he attempted to break his ribs with the force of his hug. “Nice place you got here.”

“It’s Geralt’s and it sucks.”

“Yeah.” He mumbled into his ear. Not letting go. “Our place is gonna be way nicer.”

“With rat shit and everything.”

“Yeah.”

#lambert x aiden #lambert #aiden #aiden x lambert #laiden #this entire fic is thanks to the line in the first witcher game #that was like 'vesemir taught us how to make potions but he's a fencing instructor so...'#Cross school education!!!!!#I very much want aiden to come to kaer morhen but man i can't see the wolves taking that well #so instead they get a shack on a lake and fish with bombs #cause i love canon and cant let go #what do you mean? Aiden obviously survived #he's FINE #writing #also Guxret or whatever is the cats fencing instructor who was friends with Vesemir #or so says the wiki

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hwabang · 3 years

Note

Could you possibly write a stray kids reaction to their s/o being stressed out over school?

STRAY KIDS Reaction: s/o stressed over school

A/N: My first official request on Tumblr!!! Thank you~❤️ I relate to this SO much, so yes, I can do it🥰 Ultimately I think they’d all try to alleviate the stress one way or another😇

Genre: Fluff

Requested: Yes!!

Warnings: None; just talking about school stress, but this is gn!!

————————

Bang Chan:

Chan would want to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to relieve you of your stress, but he doesn’t want to come off as too clingy. So I think the best solution he could come up with is first asking you to take a break and talk to him. He’d ask you what exactly about school is stressing you out, and he’ll try to help you in any way that he can. That doesn’t mean he’ll do the work for you (if he’s whipped enough he might write your essay) but he’ll definitely sit down with you and help you organize your thoughts/prioritize what’s necessary. He’d bring you snacks too~

“Okay baby cmon, let’s go take a walk and talk about what’s bothering you okay? We can come back in 10-15 minutes and I’ll help you get organized.”

Lee Know:

Minho would be more quiet and let you be. I think he’d resize you’re stressed, but he wouldn’t do much unless you straight up tell him it’s too much, or he sees you breaking down. In that case I think he’d opt for massaging your shoulders, then telling you to take a little break so you can go back to your work with a clear mind. During your break he’d probably also be one to make you a snack/meal and he’d feed it to you by hand🥺 Minho’s also a really good listener, so he’d definitely sit with you while you eat and rant (he’ll just be the listener unless you want advice)

“Ah... well I think she should’ve explained it better. Next time just email her to prevent that from happening again.”

Changbin:

I think Changbin is the type to be like “Oh let me see it? Yeah, yeah I think I can help you with it.” I don’t know much about their student lives, but Changbin strikes me as someone who was fairly good in school, so he would try to help you understand the content, if that’s what you’re struggling with in the school stress aspect. If you understand it and it’s a matter of not being motivated to do it, he’d try to motivate you because manz has a way with words

Hyunjin:

“Hey Hyunjinnie do you think you could help me with number 4-“

“AHHH! NO!”

... Uh, yeah good luck. Hyunjin isn’t helping you mostly because he doesn’t remember and/or understand because school is ✨yuck✨ and he’d rather not think about it. However, Hyunjin does understand that school is important for you because you want to do academically well to get your dream job. Jinnie cares about your mental health (like all of SKZ) so he’d prompt you to take a break. If you’re head on about finishing your assignments before taking a break, he’ll become serious and try to motivate you to the best of his ability. He’s the type to offer to sit with you and kiss you for each question you answer (correctly or not). He’d also probably lay in your lap while you type away on your computer, completely focused and seldom bringing one hand to his luscious hair while you reread what you wrote.

Han:

Again, I don’t have much idea about their school lives but I don’t think Jisung cared too much about school 💀 which probably means he won’t be as helpful in solving your math problems for you. I mean he’ll try, but you’re better off asking Google. Like Changbin, he’ll try to motivate you with his words and he’ll sit there with you till you’re done no matter how long that may be. Might even bring some fruit or cheesecake and feed you while you work (🥺)

“Hey, look at me. I know this is hard. I’m sorry I’m not much help but you can do it okay? If it’s too hard, then throw it away! It’s your teacher’s fault you don’t get it. But I want you to try your best okay? Remember I’m your #1 fan. Let’s try this again yeah? LETS GET IT WOOH!”

Felix:

“Fuck it. Let’s go make brownies!”

Felix doesn’t give a flying fuck. I mean yes, education is important but if he sees you breaking down because of a few assignments that won’t matter in 10 years, he’s going to do the one thing he knows he can do to (temporarily) distract you; making you food!

So he’d probably ask you to come bake with him do you can clear your mind, and then he’d try to coax you back into working (because he doesn’t want his baby to be sad because they didn’t do an assignment 🙃)

“Good brownies right? Well, now let’s see if you have enough energy to finish that project! I can proof read anything you want.”

Seungmin:

“Honey, why don’t I try to teach it to you? I remember learning this.”

Tutor Minnie!! Baby wants to help you with your homework as much as possible. He’d probably be able to help you a LOT which you are absolutely greatful for. He’s not doing any of the work for you; of course he wants to transfer all of your stress to him but he knows that you learning the content would be more beneficial for you than him just doing it without explaining anything. So he’d sit there for HOURS if needed, all to help you understand your school content. He’d praise you for getting things correct/learning the concept

“It’s okay, it’s not an easy concept. Let’s go get a snack and we’ll come back to it okay? I can explain it in another way.”

I.N:

Honestly at first I had no idea how he’d react

Jeongin would feel terrible. It hasn’t been long since he was sitting at his desk all day cramming for exams; he remembers all of the breakdowns and sleepless nights. He hated how it effected him and he hates seeing the same thing happening to you. So he’d probably take care of you the way he wished he took care of himself; forcing you to take at least a 5 min break every 30 min or so, making sure you’re hydrated and eating, helping you section off the content so you can focus on one topic every 30 min interval. He wouldn’t know exactly what to do but he knows that he just doesn’t want you to suffer because of school stress. So he will definitely spend a good chunk of his time getting you to relax

“You’ve been at it for 2 hours.. okay. Let’s go to the restaurant across the street. We’ll take the food to go and I can help you study while we eat”

———————————

Thank you once again for all of the requests! I’ll try my best to update multiple times a week so no one thinks I’m dead 😂

I’m sorry if this felt rushed... it’s been an interesting day 😅😅

Anon I hope you enjoyed!!

❤️❤️all the love to anyone reading this❤️❤️

#stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #ps-hwa #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han jisung #felix lee #seungmin #jeongin

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kybee-the-bee-cat · 2 years

Text

I don’ really have an interest for Pokemon at all, I just wanted ti draw the Eeveelutions, because One: It turned out to be good practice for me, Two: Out of all Pokemon, Eevee is one of the few I know of that I actually like enough to draw, and Three: That iNSaNiTY Eeveelution AMV made me want to for nostalgia sake.

Eevee of course

Judging from the wiki, it seems like a female Eevee will have a flowerlike tail tip, but honestly, I didn’t care about what gender I made any of these (which is why I didn’t add any eyelashes on any of them).

Also I have to address that when I draw four legged creatures like this, I prefer to add four toes (not counting that extra toe) unless the fourth toe wouldn’t be visible in the angle I’m drawing a character in. So for most of these, there will be four toes. I dunno if that’s a problem for Pokemon fans, as I see that the sprites seem to almost always have three toes. Speaking of the paws, the way they are drawn changes a lot, and that’ because I was tryna find out a way to put my style into the Pokemon style a little.

I haven’t really drawn underwater animals in a while, much less ones with the fins like these. I think it turned out okay for what I was trying to achieve.

Not much to say on this dude. The spikes gave me trouble, but I like the design.

How is it that all of the Eeveelutions (minus Eevee) have ‘eon’ at the end? Oh well.

Yeah, I like this dude, but we’re moving in now.

I had fun with this one. Also if you’re confused on why some of these have fur, and why others don’t, that’s because I kind of saw some of these without fur more than with. I mean if they do, then shame on me, but that’s just my interpretation for somma these guys.

Also I like how some of the Eeveelutions don’t look a lot like how they were before they evolved, which is cool in my opinion.

And I now introduce you to the main reason I even did this in the first place. Remember how I said that Eeveelution AMV made me wanna do this? Yeah, that’s also the reason this guy is my favorite. Maybe I’ll do it’s shiny counterpart later.

Wooh! This one gave me a bit of trouble. Still think it’s okay, it just didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I dunno, the tail doesn’t look very leafy here the way I did it.

Oh well.

Glaceon was fun to try out. Like it’s design a lot. The background is meant to be ice, but its not like I’ve ever drawn something like a glacier before.

Last but not least, transgender Eevee!

In all seriousness though, Sylveon was the most interesting to draw to me. The ribbons in their hair were a bit of a pain to draw, but I like them.

Aaaand that’s it! If I got anything wrong, I apologize. I was looking to the references the best I could. But even if I did, I’m not a Pokemon fan, so I don’t care that much.

#pokemon fanart?#eeveelution #KyBee's stuff

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sudoki-sara · 3 years

Text

Decided on yes I will make more rwby Hamilton au. These Hamilton songs are Aaron burr sir and my shot

Citizens: 1776. Feldspar City.

Jaune: Pardon me. Are you Ruby Rose ma’am?

Ruby: That depends. Who’s asking?

Jaune: Oh, well, sure, ma’am. I’m Jaune Arc I’m at you service, ma’am. I have been looking for you.

Ruby: I’m getting nervous.

Jaune: Ma’am... I heard your name at Coquina. I was seeking an accelerated course of study when I got sort of out of sorts with a buddy of yours. I may have punch him. It’s a blur, ma’am. He handle the financials?

Ruby: You punched the bursar.

Jaune: Yes! I wanted to do what you did. Graduate in two, then join the revaluation. He looked at me like I was stupid. I’m not stupid so how’d you do it? How’d you graduate so fast?

Ruby: It was my mother’s dying wish before she passed.

Jaune: You’re an orphan. Of course I’m an orphan god, I wish there was a war! Then we could prove that we’re worth more than anyone bargained for...

Ruby: Can I buy you a drink?

Jaune: That would be nice.

Ruby: While we’re talking. Let me offer you some free advice talk less.

Jaune: What?

Ruby: Smile more.

Jaune: Ha.

Ruby: Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for.

Jaune: You can’t be serious.

Ruby: You wanna get ahead?

Jaune: Yes.

Ruby: Fools who run their mouths off wind up dead.

Weiss: Yo yo yo yo yo! What time is it?

Weiss/Ren/Nora: Show time!

Ruby: Like I said.

Weiss: Show time show time! I’m Weiss Schnee in the place to be! Two pints of O’ Sam Adams but I’m working on three, uh! Those Redcoats don’t want it with me! Cuz I will pop chick-a pop these cops till I’m free!

Ren: Oui oui, mon ami, je mappelle Lie Ren! The Lancelot of the revolutionary set! I came from afar just to say bonsoir! Tell the king “Casse toi! Who’s the best cest moi!”

Nora: Brrrah brraaah! I am Nora Valkyrie up in it, lovin it, yes I heard your mother say “come again.”

Ren/Weiss: Ayyyy

Nora: Lock up ya daughters and horses. Of course it’s hard to have intercourses over four sets of corsets...

Ren: wow

Weiss: No more sex, pour me another brew, son! Let’s raise a couple more...

Weiss/Nora/Ren: To the revolution!

Weiss: Well if it ain’t the prodigy of Beacon Academy.

Nora: Ruby Rose!

Weiss: Give us a verse. Drop some knowledge!

Ruby: Good luck with that. You’re takin’ a stand you spit Imma sit we’ll see where we land.

Nora/Ren: Booo

Weiss: Ruby, the revolution is imminent. What do you stall for?

Jaune: If you stand for nothing, Ruby, what’ll you fall for?

Ren/Nora/Weiss: Ooh, who you? Who you? Who are you? Ooh, who is this kid? What’s he gonna do?

I was gonna end it here but then I remembered how “My Shot” continues this song so...

Jaune: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my crountry young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Jaune: Imma get a scholarship to Shade Academy I prob’ly shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish. The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish. I gotta holler just to be heard. With every word, I drop knowledge.

Jaune: I’m a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal. Tryin’ to reach my goal. My power of speech: unimpeachable. Only nineteen but my mind is older. These Feldspar city streets get colder, I shoulder.

Jaune: Ev’ry burden, ev’ry disadvantage. I have learned to manage, I don’t have a gun to brandish. I walk these streets famished.

Jaune: The plan is to fan this spark into a flame. But damn, it’s getting dark, so let me spell out the name I am the—

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss/ J-A-U-N-E-A-R-C— We are—meant to be...

Jaune: A colony that runs independently. Meanwhile, Atlas Keeps shittin on us endlessly. Essentially, they tax us relentlessly. Then General James turns around, runs a spending spree. He ain’t ever gonna set his descendants free. So there will be a revolution in this century. Enter me!

Ren/Nora/Weiss: He says in parenthesis.

Jaune: Don’t be shocked when your Hist’ry book mentions me. I will lay down my life if it sets us free. Eventually you’ll see my ascendancy.

Jaune: And I am not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: My shot!

Jaune: I am not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: My shot!

Jaune: Hey yo, I’m just like my country. I’m young, scrappy, and hungry. And I’m not throwing away my shot!

Ren/Nora/Weiss: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot! It’s time to take a shot!

Ren: I dream of life without a monarchy. The unrest in Vale will lead to ‘onarchy? ‘Onarchy? How you say, how you say, ‘anarchy? When I fight I make the other side panicky. With my—

All four: SHOT!

Nora: Yo, I’m a tailors apprentice. And I got y’all knuckleheads in loco parentis. I’m joining the rebellion cuz I know it’s my chance. To socially advance, instead of sewin’ some pants! I’m gonna take a—

All four: SHOT!

Weiss: But we’ll never be truly free. Until those in bondage have the same rights as you and me. You and I. Do or die. Wait till I sally in on a stallion with the first black battalion. Have another—

All four: SHOT!

Ruby: Geniuses, lower your voices. You keep out of trouble and you double your choices. I’m with you, but the situation is fraught. You’ve got to be carefully taught: if you talk your gonna get shot!

Jaune: Ruby, check what we got. Mister Lie Ren, hard rock like Lancelot I think your pants look hot. Weiss I like you a lot let’s hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin’ the pot.

Jaune: What are the odds the gods would put us all in one spot. Poppin’ a squat on conventional wisdom, like it or not. A bunch of revolutionary manumission abolitionists? Give me a position, show me where the ammunition is!

Jaune: Oh, am I talking’ too loud? Sometimes I get overexcited, shout off at the mouth. I never had a group of friends before. I Promise that I’ll make y’all proud.

Weiss: Let’s get this guy in front of a crowd!

All four: I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo, I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Weiss: Everybody sing:Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Wooh! Whoa! Aye let em hear ya! Let’s go!

Jaune/Ren/Nora: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Yea!

Citizens: Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Yea!

Weiss: I said shout it to the rooftops! Said, to the rooftops! Come on! Come on let’s go!

Weiss: Rise up! When you’re living on your knees, you rise up! Tell your brother that he’s gotta rise up! Tell your sister that she’s gotta rise up!

Weiss/Citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa! Whoa!

Weiss/citizens: When are the colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa!

Weiss/citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up?

Citizens: Whoa!

Weiss/Citizens: When are these colonies gonna rise up? Rise up!

Jaune: I imagine death so much that it feels more like a memory. When’s it gonna get me? In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody?

Jaune: See I never thought I’d live past twenty. Where I come from some get half as many. Ask anybody why we livin’ fast and we laugh, reach for a flask. We have to make this moment last, that’s plenty.

Jaune: Scratch that, this is not a moment, it’s the movement where all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went? Foes oppose us, we take an honest stand we roll like Moses, claimin’ our promised land.

Jaune: And? If we win our independence? Is that a guarantee of freedom for our descendants? Or will the blood we shed begin an endless cycle of vengeance and death with no defendant?

Jaune: I know the action in the street is excitin’ but Jesus, between all the bleedin’ and fightin’ I’ve been readin’ ‘n writin’ we need to handle our financial situation. Are we a nation of states? What’s the state of our nation?

Jaune: I’m past patiently waitin’. I’m passionately smashin’ every expectation every action’s an act of creation. I’m laughin’ in the face of casualties and sorrow. For the first time, I’m thinkin’ past tomorrow!

Jaune/Citizens: And I am not throwing away my shot! I am not throwing away my shot! Hey yo I’m just like my country I’m young, scrappy, and hungry and I’m not throwing away my shot!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot! We’re gonna rise up! Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Not throwing away my shot! Not throwing away my shot!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: We’re gonna

Citizens: We’re gonna rise up rise up

Jaune: Time to take a shot.

Citizens: Rise up Rise up!

Jaune/Ren/Nora/Weiss: Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Rise up!

JRNW: Time to take a shot!

Citizens: Rise up!

JNRW: Take a shot shot shot!

Citizens: Ri—ri—ri

JNRW: A-yo it’s time to take a shot! Time to take a shot! And I am— Not throwin’ away my—

Citizens: Time to take a shot! Time to take a shot! And I am— Not throwin’ away my shot!

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #hamilton #rwby hamilton au #lie ren #nora valkyrie #weiss schnee

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your-asks · 3 years

Text

Thank you so much for sending this in! It was a ton of fun to write.

———

Chris felt overwhelmed. But that was becoming a regular thing for him.

He sat up in his bed, pushing his sheets down to his waist. He spent a lot of time in bed lately. He tried not to, to keep busy, but sometimes he felt like he just . . . couldn’t do it.

Mindlessly, he opened twitter to distract himself. His feed was full of twitch streams going live, small comments from his favorite celebrities, and of course, cat videos. Chris opened a video of a cat trying to jump on top of a car.

Just when Chris started to think maybe he would take a shower, a chime resounded throughout the house. The doorbell.

Chris furrowed his brows in confusion, and he couldn’t help how he tensed. He wasn’t expecting anybody, and his parents weren’t home. Was that a neighbor? Maybe the police?

Chris swallowed as he stood, contemplatively. An irrational part of him imagined a policeman, his hands on his belt, saying, “We found him.”

But that wasn’t who was at the door.

When Chris made his way downstairs and looked outside, he saw none other than Sam Giddings, standing in the cold with two Starbucks cups in either hand. Immediately he felt his heart rate quicken. He hadn’t talked to Sam in weeks—probably a month, even. Not that she hadn’t tried. He may have been ignoring her calls.

Ruefully, Chris opened the door before he could stop himself. Sam turned to face him from where she was glancing at his parents’ plants and smiled.

“Chris! Hey buddy.”

“Hey, uh . . . What’s up?”

Sam looked like she was searching for the words, until suddenly she seemed to remember the coffee in her hands and held one out for Chris.

“Vanilla raspberry latte. Just the way you like it.”

Chris would’ve blushed if he thought anyone could hear her. Luckily, the houses in the neighborhood were spread pretty decently apart.

“Well look at that. Thanks Sam.” Chris took the cup from her, noting the comforting warmth it emitted. “Is there a special occasion I should know about?”

“No. No, just figured I would stop by, make sure you’re alive. I decided after the third call I should make sure you’re okay.” Before Chris could respond, Sam added, “Man, it’s cold out here.”

Chris felt a small sense of dread. He was going to have to let her in. Although if he was being honest with himself, it made him happy just being around his friend again.

“It is way too cold, even with the coffee. Come on inside.”

Chris opened the door more, and in stepped Sam, scraping her shoes off and flashing him a grateful smile.

“Wooh. Thank you.”

“Of course. Can I get you anything? Besides coffee, I mean.”

“See that’s the purpose of me getting you coffee. I’m good.”

Chris shrugged. “Hey, I’m just trying to be nice. Although I’m already flawless at that.”

Sam chuckled. “Flawless, right.”

Chris led Sam further inside, stopping at the couch in the living room and plopping down.

“So how have you been, Samwise?”

Sam rolled her eyes at the nickname and took a sip of her drink.

“—Good. Well, I mean. Managing.” She looked at him. “What about you?”

Something in her tone meant she wanted an answer different than just “good.” Chris tried his best.

“Fine.”

Sam tilted her head. “That so?”

“Yup.” He accented the “p.”

Sam turned away from him, thinking. Chris was about to break the silence when she turned back, her expression cautious.

“So . . . You know how the other day I asked if you wanted to go see that movie, and you said you were busy?”

That was three weeks ago.

“Oh, yeah. I was hanging out with Mike.”

“Right.” Sam paused. “See that’s . . . weird.”

Chris furrowed his brows. “What’s weird about it?”

“Since when did you hang out with Mike? I’m not trying to say you weren’t, I’m just curious. Did you learn about his secret love of Star Trek?”

Chris’s eyes widened slightly. “Mike likes Star Trek?”

“Not really. Well, I don’t know. Shot in the dark.”

Chris tried not to focus on the word “shot,” or the way it made him immediately think back to the last time he held a gun. The last thing he shot.

“Chris?”

Chris’s head snapped up, and he hummed a “hm?”

Sam looked worried. She knew something was off with him. Chris hated that he wanted her to ask.

“Are you okay?”

Chris paused. Was he okay? Was working all day and being on his phone all night and hanging out with Mike Munroe okay? Was it okay he hadn’t gotten actual sleep in weeks?

“I just . . . You’ve been acting kind of weird lately. And I’m not the only one to notice.”

Chris frowned. “Wait, who else has?”

“Ashley.”

Shit. Chris and Ashley had both kept to themselves lately, only occasionally hanging out or calling. He knew he wasn’t being who she needed him to be. The thought filled him with shame.

“Well . . . I’ve had some stuff on my mind, I guess. Nothing big.”

Sam nodded along. “Okay. What kind of stuff?”

Chris tensed and flexed his fingers nervously. “Like I said, nothing big. What about you? You doing alright?”

Sam frowned. “Let’s not change the subject just yet. Do you want to talk about what’s been going on? Why you’ve been acting different?”

Chris frowned. “No, no, really. It’s fine.”

Sam thought for a moment before patting his back.

“You know, Chris, you don’t have to keep everything locked up like that. I know . . . I know you’ve been through a lot. I was there, too. And that just means that I understand. So really, if you want help—just ask.”

She smiled slightly, sympathetically, and Chris took off his glasses and rubbed his face.

“See, that’s the thing. I do want help. I’m a twenty year old man living in my parents’ house, doing nothing but lie around, and that’s still not enough.”

“Chris . . .”

He raised his hands briefly, gesturing to nothing in particular. “I couldn’t do anything then, and I can’t do anything now.”

He didn’t need to specify which “then.” Sam seemed to have an epiphany, and she looked in his eyes as she spoke.

“Is that what this is about?”

Chris glanced at her. “What?”

“The mountain. Do you feel like you . . . weren’t good enough for something?”

Chris seemed taken aback.

“Well I don’t know, maybe the fact that I left my best friend to die and wasn’t even fast enough to get to him has something to do with ‘not being good enough.’”

Sam looked contemplative, and Chris felt bad for his outburst.

“Sorry.”

Sam looked at him again before drinking more of her drink, then setting it down on the coffee table.

“Chris, you do realize that you’re a human, right? You’re not a robot, or a superhero, or whatever else you might be watching. You can’t . . . You can’t just expect so much of yourself without understanding what you’re feeling.”

Chris looked down, quiet. It was easy for Sam to say. She had always been so . . . proactive. On the mountain, she’d tried to save Josh. Her and Mike had saved the rest of them all. She was different from him.

Sam sensed his thoughts straying and put a hand on his shoulder, turning him to look at her.

“Hey. I know I can’t fix anything for you, or change the way you see yourself. But just know that I’m here for you. I understand if you want space, but honestly, it might not be such a good idea to shut everyone out. And I know Mike isn’t asking you these questions.”

She was right. He’d only started hanging out with him because Mike had seemed so unbothered in the past couple of months. He was strong, and Chris wanted to emulate that.

“Just. Don’t forget that it’s okay to make mistakes, to not be perfect. It’s the same for us all.”

Chris glanced at her. “Right.” He paused before adding more genuinely, “Thank you.”

Sam smiled at him, and Chris felt himself smiling back.

“What are friends for?” She peeked down at his coffee.

“You going to drink that?”

Chris held his drink back, a feigned look of offense on his face.

“Uh, yes? Is that what friends are for too? Stealing your coffee?”

Sam shrugged. “It’s a beautiful duality.”

Chris rolled his eyes, but he had to admit, he was already feeling better just with Sam with him. He started to regret not answering her calls, but caught himself. People make mistakes. It’s alright.

Chris took a drink and sighed.

This was going to be hard.

#asks #until dawn fanfic #long post

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acreativeme · 3 years

Text

September Song

Draco Malfoy x Reader

This is based on the song September Song by JP Cooper. There is mentions of death and war.

Our love was stronger than lightning

Soft as the cotton you lie in

Times we got hot like an iron, you and I

Our hearts had never been broken

We were so innocent darling

We used to talk 'til the morning, you and I

Draco looked over at the beautiful Hufflepuff next to him, who was rambling about some plant that she had been studying for Herbology. He couldn’t stop the smile from forming on his face as he listened to her. They were only fifteen, but she was already so passionate about something important.

“... the right fertilizer with the correct amount of magic can really make a difference…” She stopped, looking over at him, “what are you looking at?”

Draco blushed, shooting her a smirk. “Just your beautiful face, love.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek, but she turned so he kissed her lips.

When she pulled away, Y/N bumped her nose against his before returning to her former position. “You are such a charmer, Mr. Malfoy.”

He puffed his chest, playfully. “You know it , love. Charm is my middle name.”

She threw her back in laughter. “It is not, you tosser.” She swatted at him.

He grinned, just watching her laugh. They stayed like that for the whole night, just talking and laughing.

We had that mixtape on every weekend

Had it repeating, had it repeating

Wicked Sisters played as Y/N and Draco sat by the Black Lake, getting a head start on the coursework. If anyone asks, it was Y/N’s idea but in reality-- it was Draco’s. No one knew how studious the young Malfoy boy really was, well no one but Y/N. Being a Pureblood with Muggle Friendly parents, Y/N had been introduced to muggle inventions from a young age. Her favorite being a record player, then CD player. She begged her parents to work their magic on it, so that she could bring it to Hogwarts. They happily agreed.

Now, she’s got Draco listening to both Magical and Muggle music. The song changes, causing Y/N to smile and wiggle happily. “I love this song!” She hummed lightly, turning back to her Care of Magical Creatures essay.

Draco chuckled, not looking up from his Potions essay. “You say that about every song, love. I don’t think it is possible to like every song.”

She gasped, dropping her quill. “It is possible!” She put the essay aside, getting very serious with him. “There are songs that trigger different emotions, songs for different situations. You just haven’t realized it yet.”

Draco raised his hands to signal that he was surrendering. “If you say so…”

She threw her head back in frustration. “Well, you will be taking the CD player to learn how to appreciate the amazingness of the music.”

He just laughed.

You were my September Song, summer lasted too long

Time moves so slowly when you're only fifteen

You were my September Song, tell me where have you gone?

Do you remember me? We were only fifteen

And I, I remember the chorus, they were singing it for us

You were my September song, tell me where have you gone?

Do you remember me? We were only fifteen

Things for Y/N and Draco changed at the end of their fifth year. Y/N had fallen into a depression, like all Hufflepuffs, and Draco had distanced himself. They had spent their last night together saying goodbye and fighting. Draco didn’t want to say goodbye, but Y/N had too. In her heart, Y/N knew that Draco wasn’t like his family but she also knew that he would do anything asked of him by them. With the rising of the Dark Lord, Y/N knew that nothing good was going to happen.

She watched as Draco paced the Astronomy Tower. “Draco, we are on different sides of this war. I don’t think it would be best if we went our separate ways.”

Draco growled. “I don’t want to be on separate sides, Y/N.”

Tears ran down her face. “I know, but you will do anything your family tells you.”

He approached her, slowly so as to not scare her away. “You are my family.” He whispered, cupping her face.

She sobbed, leaning into his hand. “After the war is finished, we will come back together.”

He nodded, not wanting to speak. They shared a final kiss before going their separate ways.

Sometimes I think that I see your

Face in the strangest of places

Down on the underground station passing by

I get a mad sense of danger

Feel like my heart couldn't take it

'Cause if we met we'd be strangers, you and I

The Y/L/N Family had gone into hiding, due to being targeted by Death Eaters. The Y/L/N family had always been outspoken about their beliefs, and how they wanted to unify all witches and wizards-- blood purity aside. Y/N trained in secret, knowing that she was planning on sneaking off to help fight in the war. She had been talking with Professor McGonagall via a two-way mirror and completing missions for the Order.

There had been times where she had gone back to the wizarding side of London, transfigured as to not be recognized by any lingering Death Eaters. One night, as she patrolled, she thought she saw him. Or the back of him.

She had wanted to call out to him, but didn’t. She didn’t want to risk her mission or herself in hopes that it was him.

Still, I play that mixtape every weekend

Got it repeating, got it repeating

Draco stood at his balcony door with a glass of Firewhisky, music playing in the background. His heart ached as the music triggered memories of fifth year and Y/N. He couldn’t stop himself from listening to her music on repeat, especially this last year. He couldn’t wait for the war to be over, so that he could have her in his arms again.

He just hoped they both made it out alive.

And as the years go by

You will still be my, be my

(September song)

You are my

(September song)

Wooh

As Voldemort was defeated and they moved to collect their dead, Draco hoped Y/N would walk away from the rubble. But his hopes were dashed as he watched Neville Longbottom pulled her lifeless body from under broken pieces of corridor. He dropped to the ground, his heart dying with her. He couldn’t control the sob that came from his trembling lips.

She was dead…

There wasn’t going to be any more Septembers for them.

#draco malfoy #harry potter #harry potter one shots #harry potter imagine #hufflepuff #love #angst #death #war #sweetswriting

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banshee-king · 4 years

Text

T’au Ethereal Caste Ideologies:

Ethereals in 40k are currently treated like a monolith, where every individual has the same set of beliefs and morals. I believe they should be treated more like Inquisitors, where there is a whole spectrum of beliefs and multiple different sub-factions within the wider organisation. Tech Priests have this also, even Haemonculi, so why not Ethereals? They should have different interpretations on what the “Greater Good” means. It would help add more depth and complexity to their characters, it adds internal conflict, and it allows players to better customise “their dudes”.

I have therefore come up with a grid of two spectrums, where the x-axis represents what “good” means, and the y-axis represents who the “greater” are. The very right represents “good” = survival of the species and nothing more, further left means physical wellbeing, and further more means mental/spiritual wellbeing. The very top is “greater” = Ethereal Caste only, further down is all T’au Castes, further down is other alien races, and the very bottom represents all lifeforms.

Names of groups are placeholders, and these aren’t rigid groups either. Many Ethereals are independent, many fall in between, many have conflicting views, many Ethereals don’t like titles and see the Ethereal Caste splintering into sub-factions as a bad thing. Anyway here’s what the groups mean.

The Xenophiles “Everything has value”

This group of Ethereals believe that life is a miracle, that anything exists at all is crazy if you think about it. That we are able to contemplate our own existence is incredible. Like… wooh. Thus these Ethereals treasure ALL lifeforms, even cattle, even bugs, they don’t even hate Orks & Tyranids. They do not see T’au culture/society as better than others. The universe created everything, everything is equal, not good and bad, just different. Thus these Ethereals do not wish to replace the culture/society/religion of other races with the T’au’s. They want everyone to not kill each other, but aside from that, they encourage others to develop along their own unique path. These Ethereals want all lifeforms to be happy, both physically and mentally. Of course less intelligent beings like insects (or plants) can’t be mentally happy, but in general.

Somewhat paradoxically, they also see destruction as a natural part of the life cycle. Predators eating prey is perfectly normal, it’s the Tyranids and the Imperium that’s when things get out of hand. These Ethereals want to expand and take control over the galaxy not for T’au supremacy, but to act as guardians of life. They want to watch over and ensure that each planet is allowed to develop naturally, and no one (e.g. Imperium, Tyranids) interrupts the miracle that is the cycle of life. They do not approve of those who manipulate others (e.g. with mind control).

The Spiritualists “The enlightened have value”

These Ethereals believe that “good” means spiritual enlightenment, a state of being only capable of being reached by those who are intelligent enough. These “enlightened” are the “greater” for which all other beings should sacrifice for and serve. Like the Xenophiles, they would let any race into the T’au Empire if said race wished, unlike the Xenophiles, they do not care about “lesser” lifeforms. They see themselves as more “realistic” than the Xenophiles in this way. To them the Greater Good is not for cattle or plants or fish, and even speaking races like Orks are unworthy. Where the Xenophiles say the Greater Good is for everyone (whether they are willingly a part of it or not, or even aware of it), the Spiritualists say that is nonsense. The Greater Good is for people who can understand the Greater Good. The Spiritualists seek to expand the T’au Empire to uplift other races, which the Xenophiles see as unnecessary.

The Utilitarians “The useful have value”

This group believes that only the useful have a place in the T’au Empire, and that the T’au Empire’s goal is to protect itself and survive, not watch out for every other species. Being “custodians of the galaxy” or reaching “spiritual enlightenment” is all good and noble, but the T’au Empire won’t get to that point if they aren’t realistic. They see the short term, survival is more important than anything. They see the former groups as naïve, and themselves as pragmatic. They believe that life is not sacred, that not everything has a place in the galaxy, some things are just bad, natural evolution isn’t always perfect, things can be improved, and there’s nothing immoral with interfering. The galaxy doesn’t care.

Utilitarian Ethereals generally would not exclude races from the Empire for being too weak, as they can always “uplift” others to be more effective. Unlike Spiritualists, their uplifting means technological, or even genetic. They are not outwardly xenophobic, since they intend to create a more stable and peaceful galaxy to share with others. But they will sacrifice anything and everything about another race to improve efficiency. Ultimately, these Ethereals believe to survive, only the useful have a place in the T’au Empire, and If something cannot be altered into a form that is useful, then it is a burden on society and must be removed.

The Supremacists “The strong have value”

These Ethereals believe that the weak should serve the strong who are “greater”. They share similar views with the Utilitarians in that both perceive themselves as pragmatic and realistic, fanciful ideologies are for the naïve, they both focus on survival and basic necessities as “good”. However, the Supremacist Ethereals believe in a strict hierarchy, they believe each individual should strive to become the greatest possible version of themselves, and that the greater should lead the lesser. All Ethereals believe that a Shas’la should follow a Shas’ui, who should follow a Shas’vre, however Supremacist Ethereal take it one step further.

Their school of thought leads these Ethereals to perceive the T’au race as superior to others, since other races are usually lazy and decadent, and aren’t always striving to improve themselves. This is not to say that Supremacists are outwardly xenophobic. They believe that the T’au Empire is superior because it absorbs other aliens and their strengths into their Empire, while the other factions waste potential resources. However, although they never admit it, and may not be conscious of it themselves, Supremacist Ethereals have a bias towards T’au over other races. Where a Utilitarian could see another xenos as more efficient for a task than themselves (and worthy of respect), Supremacists simply see T’au as better, because they want to be better than others, because they want control, and they believe the powerful should control others.

@xenosgirllastarchive I don’t know if you remember this at all, but some time ago I mentioned an Ethereal OC I had in mind, Aun’Wu (loosely inspired by Wu Zetian). Well she’s a Xenophile and a bunch of my ideas for her revolved around her interacting with Ethereals of other ideologies. Was curious what your thoughts were or if you have any Ethereal characters yourself that would fit any of these groups?

#warhammer #warhammer 40000 #warhammer 40k #wh40k #ethereals #t'au empire #tau

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rigelmejo · 3 years

Text

6/28 I DID A LOT

WOOH

I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH

ANYWAY

AHHHHHHH

IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE

So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.

Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well

WELL

good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).

My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).

Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.

Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.

—

IN OTHER NEWS

today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE

AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS

So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.

I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.

This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.

I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.

Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.

Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.

anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN

gonna do it some more.

kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.

—-

And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.

What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.

As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.

#rant #June #June progress #I wonder if my 2021 horoscope says things I worked for years on are paying off #also looks like if I get into linguistics there’s a decent chance I’ll need French too so. French for a career is why I started learning #that baby way back when. so it really would be a bunch of old stuff paying off and becoming useful and needed. I even have job inquiries for #character artists for game companies rn! which is. literally what my dream was at age 11.#oh man when will I have time for the French... ToT I may actually NEED need it soon fuck #u know what I love about chinese and dread about Japanese and French? the grammar #Chinese grammar I may make some mistakes but I know I’m understandable and I DO in fact have some grammar exercise books I can do if they’l #help. and Chinese grammar is quite clear and idk logical to me. Japanese has.. so much politeness levels and casualness even after the gramm #I struggle to instinctively ‘get’. and French god if a teacher isn’t making me cojuygate I only use je vais je va j’ai va ToT #my French production skills are nightmarish #hey universe babe ;-; please be nice #whatever’s coming ayyy

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aliypop · 3 years

Text

Troubled Path

Wordcount: 1,798

Warning: Language

A/N: Part 7 WOOH

"Sometimes... Geralt, I want to be numb.." Tithuba smiled, her lips curled onto her cup of burnt herbal tea. "Other times, I wish I were normal.." she laughed. Her hands' on top of the witchers,

Tithuba had been bedridden by Geralt, who had taken the liberty of keeping not only the future queen but her daughter safe as well. " Do you ever wish.. you were normal.." she asked, looking up to amber eyes. Geralt had always thought about what he'd be doing if he wasn't a witcher. Would he have been learning about his powers given to him by his mother or perhaps a farmhand, no instead: he thought of one answer. The same one he had when he was 5.

"I used to wish to be a knight.." he sighed, "Stupid, right.."

"Well, you would have had Adina as your captain..." she joked. Tithuba then watched as tears welled up in his eyes. It wasn't likely for a witcher to cry, but she figured it as her motherly duties to instigate. "Geralt.. what's wrong.." she began to take a look at him. Geralt couldn't understand how so many people could be so cold towards him, but yet she was warm. "It's nothing.." he brushed it off like he usually did. "There are tears in your eyes.." she mumbled, watching him wipe them away. A small laugh had left her lips, and Geralt had nearly broken down. It was of a laugh he hadn't known too well, the one of a mother.

You're going to leave too, aren't you! " Geralt pushed her hand away.

"What are you on about!" Tithuba growled,

"Just like my mother left me.. you'll do it too!" hot tears streamed down his face, as well as Tithuba's: she could hear the small crack in his voice. The one that made him sound so fragile. Placing her gentle hands on his cheeks, she wiped away his tears.

"Visenna wasn't ready for a child as wonderful as you.." she slid over on her bed, leaving a spot for Geralt.

"All those nights... I sat there, becoming a monster. I wondered would she come back for me." He laid next to her, pouring every ounce of hurt onto her.

"Geralt of Rivia.. you are not a monster, and I won't have you say such things!" she began to grit her teeth at whoever had told him that in the past.

"Do you know what they do to us!" this time, his voice hoarse.

"The trials.." Tithuba remembered Vesemir telling her about them and how every time he would, she could see the pain in his eyes. Although she never understood why someone would do such a thing. Geralt looked up at the witch, thin white hairs appearing in her roots. She was getting older, but she was still as graceful as any mother could be. "You know about the trials..." Tithuba nodded,

"Vesemir would tell me about them during our days in Kaer Morhen." she swooned, " I would come from Lryia to visit in the winter." her heart beating fast as she talked, "We'd go to the woods talk.. make lo-'' she then looked at the confused witcher.

"Vesemir... fucked.."

"Yes, Geralt.." she plucked him in the ear, " Watch your damn language."

Adina was sitting in her mother's war room, looking at the megascopes. She had remembered her father using one to connect to the brotherhood of sorcerers. The only problem was Adina didn't know how to get it to work. Looking for notes that her mother left behind, she could find any traces of anything. "This is stupid.." she said in elvish, a language she had learned when she was around Flora.

"I heard that.."

"Who's there.." Adina asked.

"Wow.. you don't know how to use this, do you.." stepping closer, Adina had seen what appeared to be a mage on the other side. "You look like Tithuba.." she smirked, sitting in what seemed to be a type of shop. "How do you know my mother.." Adina sassed, looking at the beautiful black hair framing her face. "Everyone in the brotherhood knows.. wait, daughter?" she then mumbled, "She never said anything about you .." the mage questioned, gathering up ingredients. From what she saw, she was beautiful with muscled arms, possibly a knight of some sort.

"To introduce myself, I'm Yennefer.."

"Adina.." She gasped: she had heard a few tales about Yennefer but nothing comparing her beauty to her power. "I need your help: witch hunters are taking siege of Abbinshire and.."

"You need the brotherhood's help .." she laughed, " I don't think I can.."

"If you don't do it for Tithuba, do it for the value of coin.." Yennefer noticed the pain in her voice: to hear the woman go from a knight to diplomacy did something to Yennefer. " Fine, but just this once... Aretuza before sundown, I trust you know how to teleport." and with those last words, the megascope had been over.

Wearing her golden dragon scaled dress and her mother's crown of garnet, she had only one thing on her mind. To save Abbinshire, not as a princess, not as a knight but as Adina of Abbinshire. Heading towards her noble steed, she turned to see the only other person who mattered to her.

" Did you forget your potions... " Geralt smirked,

"I don't believe so why."

"In case I have to save your royal ass when you come back." Adina laughed as she rolled her eyes, "Very clever, Geralt." she pushed him, still cautious of her shoulder. "Keep an eye on her.." she motioned to her mother, who was watching from the windows. "And remind me to tell Triss you said hello?" she smirked, watching how red Geralt's face had gotten.

"Fuck you.." he laughed,

"When I get back and win, Reviucto Infecigeo!" she shouted as a portal opened to the island that was Thanedd. "Stay here until I get back, buttercup," Adina whispered to her horse. Walking in the castle, she had passed many students, those promised to be powerful mages much like the ones before them. Walking down to where all the sorcerers were meeting, she had noticed the odd stares she had gotten from them.

"They're all but a bunch of kiss arses." Yennefer took her by the hand. Adina blushed,

"I.. I.. heard.." she gulped,

"Not much of a talker, are you.."

"Not when I'm in the sight of beautiful things.." She began following her to the war room: seeing all of the many mages from every kingdom made her feel just like her father.

Adina was in control of the kingdom's fate, and she knew what she was doing it for; to bring Abbinshire to its rightful ruler. "I saw we leave Abbinshire to go to shit.." Abelard shrugged. A few other mages began to discuss his decision until they heard the voice of Yennefer.

"And if we do that.. the magic trade between our kingdoms .. will break apart.."

"How did you get so wise all of a sudden.." the room went quiet,

"Yennefer is right: My kingdom has been one of man to serve such a purpose to you all.." Adina said, stepping further into the room. "But it has also gone to shite by the wrong hands... With the death of the king, he's raised an army to destroy something he has feared.." her head held high as she watched all the esteemed naysayers kept their eye on the young woman.

" Us.."

"Excuse me, but who are you..." a woman who Adina assumed was Triss asked: looking at her, she started to think Geralt had a type. A bit shorter than him, curly-haired, and would possibly kill him if needed to be.

"Adina Princess of Abbinshire, Knight of the flame.. and Daughter to the last pure dragon mage Tithuba.." her eye's retracting into the ones of a dragon.

"And you are.." she asked back, a charming smile much like her mother's.

"Triss Merigold.."

"Geralt sends his hello to you," she smirked as she then placed her finger on the map. Triss blinked as she then looked at Yennefer.

"We can't just fight this war with mages: it's unheard of it!"

"I Never said we were. There is aid from the kingdom of Anore and the warriors of the blue mountain clan." She then looked at Trissaia, "I only ask of you all to restore the good of the kingdom together.. "

"And what's the price.." Stregobor asked.

"Whatever your heart's desire," Adina said, the sound of desperation in her voice. Adina could feel that this was her destiny to lead,

But it was the fate of kings in her hands.

"I think I'm in love with her.." Geralt said, sitting between Roach and Nightshade: both of the horses looked at him as they shook their heads. "She's only been gone for a day, and I miss her witty comments.." he grumbled, feeding them both. Tithuba had left him to care for the stables since she knew that since Mayday would be arriving. That everyone would want somewhere cozy to get their dresses green.

"Neigh.."

"No, Roach, we aren't going," he grumbled.

"Neigh.."

"Because Nightshade, I understand Buttercup is your son ..." he sighed, "This isn't about either of you two, it's about me-" his eyes resembling a wolf.

"Is everything okay in there.." Tithuba asked, watching as a horse scented Geralt got slapped between two tails of the horses.

"I'm fine, I .. how much did you hear.."

"Everything up to you about to pounce on my horse." Tithuba laughed, petting Nightshade.

"Even.."

"Confessing you love my daughter Adina.. " she laughed, "Cleary, you don't remember that two of you played together when you were little." she smiled, watching at how confused Geralt was.

"This ring a bell.."

"You should be the princess!" a small boy with auburn curls said, running around with a wooden sword. Tackling him down to the ground was a neat braid of black hair. " It's because I'm a girl isn't it.." Adina growled, taking the sword away from him.

"No, it's because you're a princess!"

"I am no princess!" she said, moving her cape dramatically,

"Are too!

"Are not!

"Are too!

"Your horse is dumb!" Adina stuck her tongue out at him.

"Roach is not dumb.. she's just different.." Geralt mumbled, watching as the illusions of the two kids faded away slowly, much like how his memory of those moments did,

"You don't find love, it finds you, and it has a little bit to do with destiny, fate, and what's written in the stars."

"What are you saying.." He looked at Tithuba, "Go after the woman I love.."

"And here I thought I was the kooky witch in a cottage.."

#the witcher oc #the witcher oc fanfiction #the witcher fandom #the witcher fanfiction #geralt x oc #yennefer #New Chapter

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involvet-triangulum · 4 years

Text

Unwilling epiphanies

Warnings: Alcohol use, threat by weapon

Word Count: 2.8k

Characters: Gideon Gleeful, Dipper Pines, Bill Cipher/Bipper, (Mentioned) Stan Pines

---- What time was it?... There wasn’t even sunlight streaming through the camper window yet. Who the hell was calling at this hour of the night?

He rolled over to face the clocks bleary red light, 3:21 am. Jesus Christ. The phone was still ringing, why hadn't they given up yet? He had his hours marked on every site as 9 am through 5 pm. Okay, whoever was calling probably had something important to say. This was the third time they had called as far as he could remember.

He cleared his throat and grabbed his phone off of the dresser. Of course, he finally woke up when he read ‘Dipper’ on his screen and hit answer.

"Hello?”

His throat was scratchy, it showed when he spoke up. Okay, maybe he wasn’t entirely awake. He was awake just enough to deal with him. Dipper wouldn’t call him at this hour if it wasn’t important.

“Heyy, buddy. Could you do me an uh- a favor?”

Or if he was drunk. That was also a reason he’d call him at this hour. Gideon rubbed at his forehead. What the hell did he need now? If it was money he’d be hanging up on him, as usual. Okay, it wasn’t nice to assume. He forced a smile so he’d at least sound polite for now even if he was starting to edge towards aggravation.

“Sure, what's up?”

It took Dipper a few seconds to respond. Gideon could practically see him rubbing at the back of his neck and thinking of how to phrase whatever he needed, he hadn’t changed too much over the years.

“Well, I was... So I was at the bar by Greasy’s, y’know that one?”

Gideon gave him a quick ‘mhm’ rather than a proper reply.

“I got into a little tussle, nothing bad, just got into sumthin’ with some dude-”

He was already getting ready to hang up on him. If he needed bail money he could call Stan.

“-they uh, they threw me out. The usual. So I was headin’ back to the shack, gonna get some sleep-”

“You were driving home drunk.“

Gideon wasn’t having any of his bullshit at this hour. That happy tone was gone, replaced with the usual deadpan. He’d worked hard to develop that at a young age but now it’d become the norm.

“Aw come on man, I’m not that messed up! I was doing fine but-”

“Was?”

“Well um- You see its uh-”

“Spit it out.”

“The car broke down. I’m outside the thrift store, can you give me a ride?”

Gideon hung up, set his phone down, and laid back in bed. Then he reached out and grabbed it again. Sure, Dipper was a little too dependent on the rest of them but he couldn’t leave him to walk the four miles back to the shack in the middle of the night.

“There you are, I thought you were gonna blackout on me!”

Gideon could pick out the desperation in his tone, he didn’t have anyone else to call, did he?

“Yeah, I'm getting up. Stay with the car so I can see you.”

“Well uh, I kinda’ already started walking.”

“Just- Stay where you are, go back to the thrift store so I can find you. What are you wearing?”

Dipper laughed.

“What’re you trying to get at?”

“I’m trying to know who to look for. You don't exactly stand out in a crowd, Dipper.”

He’d dragged himself out of bed, phone held between his shoulder and ear as he went searching for a hairband to tie his up. He wouldn’t bother putting it up in the usual style if he was going right back to bed after this.

“I’ll be there soon, don’t run off anywhere, and don't get into any more fights.”

Gideon had already hung up for the second time before Dipper could respond. He wasn’t going to bother getting out of his pajamas. It was 3 in the morning anyway, no one would be out at this hour.

He stepped out of his room into the rest of the camper, only stopping before the door to glance at his father on the pull out bed.

"Daddy, I’m taking the Chrysler. I’ve got some business to attend to.”

Bud mumbled something in his sleep but Gideon had already walked to the door and taken the keys off the hook.

The ride into town was quiet aside from the faint rumbling of the cars engine and occasional owls. He hadn’t bothered turning on the radio, it’d distract him from keeping an eye out for Dipper. Knowing him, he might’ve started wandering again. He knew him a little too well, but how could he not? They had too many things in common to not start hitting it off the last few years.

He slammed on the breaks when the Chrysler's headlights picked up the rainbow hair threaded into Dipper’s jacket. Dipper was where he said he’d be, sitting down criss-cross on the sidewalk in front of the thrift store fiddling with his phone. He didn’t look up at the sound of the breaks or the driver's side door opening and closing.

“Dipper.”

His name caught his attention. Dipper looked up with a crooked smile, one hell of a bruise was already forming on the side of his jaw stretching up to under his right eye. ‘A little tussle’ had been a lie. He stood up from the sidewalk and pulled him into a bear hug that had Gideon realizing just how much he reeked of cheap alcohol. It was probably a good thing that the El Diablo broke down.

“There you are, buddy! I thought you weren’t gonna show up.”

Gideon shoved him away with a cough. He was going to need to ferbreeze the Chrysler after he got Dipper home. How did he even get in the bar? He still had four years until he was legal.

“I told you I was on the way.”

Dipper shrugged, fanged grin still spread across his face. He always hunched over when they spoke. Gideon knew he was trying to be eye level with him to be polite but the action had infuriated him since he was a child. He turned on his heels and started towards the car with Dipper in tow.

“Come on, lets get you back to the shack. Some of us need their beauty sleep.”

Dipper chuckled as he rounded the car to get to the passenger side.

“You got like that from some extra sleep? I’ve gotta start taking notes.”

Gideon glared at him as they climbed into the still-running car.

“Sheesh, it was just a compliment. Don’t take it so personally.”

Gideon buckled himself in and motioned for Dipper to do the same. They were both safely in their seats once he was done mumbling something about there being no point to it when he drove as slow as he does. Gideon turned the car around and started down the road at the usual slow pace Dipper had been mumbling about. Sure, it was a small town and late at night, but it was a small town and late at night. Doing 100 mph down the road was bound to get Blubs called on them.

Dipper reached over and started to crank up the radio, but Gideon slapped his hand away before he could start blaring anything. He’d already blown out the speakers in the El Diablo, Gideon wasn’t going to let him do the same to his car.

“You’re such a buzzkill.”

He leaned back in the seat, reaching over to take up the entire center console and force Gideon's arm off of it. Gideon gave him a side-eyed glare but Dipper didn’t budge. As far as Dipper was concerned, he could deal with it. The car's clock blinked as it turned over to 4 am. He was going to have to delay tomorrow's show at this rate.

Dipper pulled his arm away from the console, Gideon was relieved until he popped the glove box open and started rooting through it.

“You got anything in here? Jerky? Gum?”

“What’re you- Could you not-”

“So you don’t?”

Gideon sighed, aggravation showing through the noise. He had to hold back a bit of a chuckle. Something about it was funny, no one else would’ve dared to go looking through his things without his permission besides Dipper. Maybe that was why he didn’t just leave him in the dirt already. It was fun to have someone to challenge him.

“There’s jerky in the center console.”

Dipper hummed and reached in further, something had caught his eye. Gideon only realized what it was once the streetlights reflected off metal.

“Wooh, what’re you so worried about that you’ve got one of these in here?” The grin on Dipper's face as he turned the pistol around in his grip to look it over was unsettling at best and downright scary at worst.

“Put that back right now.”

Gideon had gripped the steering wheel tighter, that line was full of venom but there was still a hint of fear showing through. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. This wasn’t a good situation.

“Calm down, scaredy-cat. I know gun safety. It's a good piece!”

Gideon tried to chuckle, it sounded strained. When Dipper didn’t respond he started to get worried. He’d gone surprisingly silent given how much he’d been talking before now. Gideon needed to put an end to this. He slowed the car to a stop and pulled over to the curb.

“Tell me something, Gideon.”

His tone had him shaking. Why was he so scared? It was just Dipper, he had to tell himself that before he turned to face him.

The feeling of cold metal against his forehead as he looked to him made Gideon change his mind about such.

“What are you afraid of?”

His throat felt dry. Staring into those golden eyes was making him feel sick to his stomach but, he should’ve picked up on it before. Gideon couldn’t help telling himself that there were clear signs that something had changed when he picked Dipper up that he should've noticed. He shouldn’t have needed golden eyes and black claws to be the warning signs.

Gideon opened his mouth to answer but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. ‘You’ would be too obvious of an answer, he knew how Bill worked too well to give him an obvious answer. He needed something deeper.

“Come ON, kid. I know you’ve got something in that head of yours. Entertain me for a bit!”

Bill pressed the barrel of that gun harder against his forehead, forcing him to tilt his head back a bit to stop it from digging into his skin. He didn’t need to leave a mark.

He hissed through bared fangs when Gideon stayed silent. Bill was getting impatient fast.

“I- I don’t-”

Bill had opened his mouth to speak up again but, Gideon cut him off

“-Give me a minute!”

Gideon closed his eyes to stop the tears pricking at their edges. He expected a bang after that outburst, or to be stricken with the metal, but instead, Bill just chuckled and leaned away from him. The lack of metal against his forehead made him open his eyes.

When had the car started beeping? He wasn’t sure but, it wasn’t appreciating Bill's lack of a seat belt. He had leaned against the door, kicking Dipper’s left leg up onto the center console and resting that gun against his right.

“It's not a difficult question.”

That was easy for Bill to say, he wasn’t the one trying to answer it. Gideon looked at his hands still gripping the steering wheel, his knuckles had turned white but he didn’t dare let go. He didn't trust himself to not lunge for the gun and get himself killed.

He ran that thought through his head again.

He didn’t want to get himself killed.

“I know what I’m afraid of.”

Bill perked up over the mumbled line. He pulled Dipper’s leg back into the seat and leaned towards Gideon. The weight of that gun resting against his head brought back his shivers. Gideon kept his eyes on the empty road ahead of them, it was better than having to look at the grin across his face.

“Well? What is it?”

“I...”

He had the words right on the tip of his tongue. He just had to say them.

“I’m scared of dying.”

There was a moment of silence before Bill cracked up. He was laughing at him. Gideon had given him his damn answer!

“That’s it? That’s what you’re going to tell me? Everyone’s scared of dying, kid!” Bill pressed the metal harder against his temple.

“Try harder.”

“I'm scared of what’ll happen if I die, okay?”

Gideon felt sick to his stomach. This wasn’t the way he wanted to deal with this, but spilling his guts at 4 am was how it would be.

“I- I don’t want to die! The shop isn’t pulling in anything, daddy knows it isn’t, mom can’t work anymore!-”

He let go of the wheel, bringing both hands up to hide his face. He didn’t want Bill to see him right now.

“-Everythings- It's all going to go under if I’m gone. I’ve been the breadwinner for eight years. What are they supposed to do without me?”

The dead silence in the car froze him to the bone. Bill hadn’t responded to his question, instead leaving him to stew to whatever country song the radio was quietly playing at this hour.

Gideon couldn’t bring himself to look at him. His face was firmly planted in his hands and he would be staying that way for as long as it was silent. Of course, that didn’t get to last very long.

“Gideon?”

Dipper’s voice brought him out of his hands. Gideon lifted his head and turned to his friend, staring wide-eyed at him in the passenger seat.

Dipper’s hands were shaking as he looked at the gun held against his forehead. He’d gone as white as a sheet. If Mabel were here she’d likely lighten the mood with a badly timed joke but, she wasn’t, so they were stuck in that tense silence until it finally clicked in Dipper’s head that he needed to move. He yanked the gun away from Gideon's head and shoved it into the glove box, slamming it shut as soon as it was out of his grip. That wasn’t safe but, neither was holding a gun to someone's head.

“Oh my god, oh my god”

Dipper pulled his legs up into the seat and curled up, arms wrapped around himself with his head tucked into his knees. Gideon could hear him mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ repeatedly under his breath but he wasn’t in the state of mind to explain that it wasn’t his fault.

He needed to get Dipper home. Neither of them were in a situation to move past this but, Gideon needed to do something. The more he distracted himself from it the better.

Gideon reached around him to grab his seat belt buckle. If Dipper was buckled in then they could get moving.

Dipper sat up the minute he reached over, grabbing him with both arms and pulling him in for the second hug of the night. Oh. Well, that was an awkward misunderstanding. Gideon wasn’t going to deny that they probably both needed it, though. He laid one hand on Dipper’s back and let him sit there.

Gideon wasn’t sure how long they’d been sitting there. His leg had gone numb where it’d been pressed uncomfortably against the center console by the time Dipper pulled away from him. He scratched at the back of his neck and gave him somewhat of a smile.

“Sorry about all that, man.”

Gideon didn’t respond. Instead, he snatched up Dippers buckle and yanked it over to click it in. The clock read 5 am now. The sunlight starting to peak over the horizon had already made them both aware of the time. Gideon was going to need a lot of coffee before today’s show if he wanted to be nearly as enthusiastic as usual.

The ride was quiet. It could’ve been silent if it wasn’t for the radio and dirt road leading to the shack. Gideon never quite pulled into the parking lot. Dipper had noticed it years ago when he first got his license but never asked, he knew the reasoning behind the act. If Stan happened to be awake and see him pulling up he’d come out with the bat.

Dipper unbuckled himself and pushed the car door open, Gideon had reached over and grabbed him by the arm before he could step out. It took him a few seconds to get the words out. His throat was still scratchy from earlier.

“Don’t worry about it.”

At least that got a smile from Dipper. Gideon let him get out after that line, watching him walk away until he unlocked the front door and disappeared inside.

He needed to go have a drink of his own after that.

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