#whenever I feel like I'm being judged I get this heavy feeling in my chest??

[cher-rei]

Hi👋! I was wondering if I could request a Gavi x reader fluff fic which includes this prompt “I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh God we need a real adult to take care of you”? Basically reader is sick and Gavi says the prompt. I'm new to this blog so I'm not sure if this is how you take requests. Thank you❣️

deep breaths- pablo gavi [ P.G ]

but I promise you this. I'll always look out for you [sparks- coldplay]

pairing: pablo gavi x fem!reader

summary: taking care of you when sick brings more anxiety for gavi than he'd thought.

genre(s): established relationship, fluff, slight angst

[wc: 2.2k] masterlist

notes: I was sick while writing this and I swear I felt the words float off my screen because my head was spinning like crazy. but this prompt was cute as hell so I hope you enjoy it xx

the house was empty— all the lights were still off, except for the blue hue from the swimming pool's lights that could be seen illuminating through the ceiling to floor window in the living room.

a heavy sigh left your lips when you shut the front door, your sluggish strides heavy and painful as you made your way to the couch so you could catch your breath after today's stress.

you were drowning in university work and assignments and have been staying in the library for excessive hours after classes just to get a grip on whatever was piled on you. this was the fourth time this week that you'd gotten home late which gavi wouldn't be happy about at all.

so when you saw that his car still wasn't in the driveway when you pulled up you thanked the heavens and the fact that he was still at pedri's house. he hated when you over-exerted yourself which you were prone to— being the workaholic that you were.

he never failed to give you a heartfelt scolding whenever this happened, telling you that you needed to eat, reminding you to take a break and even resorting to forcing you out of your chair just to rest with him.

but today you weren't ready for that, not with the way that your head was pounding. when you sat down on the couch a wave of relief washed over you and the urge to succumb to the tiredness sat on your chest but you couldn't fall asleep... you just needed to rest your eyes for a minute.

there was excitement in gavi's strides when he got home, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and not let go until the following day. he just missed you that much to the point where he barely said bye to pedri when he left and got straight into his car.

it was 8:24 p.m. so he knew you'd still be awake, probably in the kitchen baking something seeing as it was friday. every friday you could be caught baking something to distress yourself with a smile and the music playing while you hummed carelessly.

but that wasn't the case today because the house was eerily quiet. gavi didn't like that one bit and immediately called for you, seeing as it was dark. but when he got no response his pace quickened only to find you sprawled on the couch still with your clothes on.

not again, he thought and crouched down beside you.

"amor I'm home," he whispered and nudged you slightly, earning a disgruntled moan from you while you took a bit to wake up.

he watched you sit up with slight worry and it was clear that you hadn't planned on falling asleep judging by your confused expression as you looked around, until you were somewhat coherent.

you looked at your boyfriend with a lopsided smile. "hello baby, how was your day?"

"are you feeling okay?" he asked, brushing off your question and put a hand to your cheek. he wasn't pleased with how warm you were and moved his hand your forehead but you tried to pull it off.

you were screwed, to say the least, because you were burning up. before gavi could even say anything about the matter you pushed the fact that you were fine and tried to stand up. horrible decision. a sharp pain ran through your head and you swore you could feel it in your eye sockets.

a painful groan left your lips and immediately gavi was at your side, his hand carefully around your waist for stability in fear that you were going to fall. "oh no. I knew this was going to happen."

hear it comes.

your eyes shut tightly while gavi rambled on about you being sick, saying that you should have listened to him and not over exert yourself because he knew how bad of a toll it took on you. you loved him, but right now was not the time for a lecture.

"pablo I'm fine." you kissed the back of his hand reassuringly but he couldn't help but feel horrible. "I just need some rest okay?"

"I think you need more than just some sleep baby. this--"

you shook your head slightly, looking directly into his eyes so that he could see that you were fine. "--I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going to sleep. there's no need to worry because I'm fine, okay?"

okay? as if. gavi could see right through you and even though he played it off, the second you hopped into the shower he was already halfway to the pharmacy with his phone in hand, his mother on the line for proper instructions.

he's never actually taken care of someone when they were sick before because funny enough he was always the patient. whether it be an injury or the flu you were taking care of him and now it was his turn to be just as gentle and patient until you felt better.

his mother asked him questions in and out— how high was your temperature? were your muscles aching? were you throwing up? all questions he couldn't answer that well because he just knew that you were sick and needed medication immediately.

"uhm she's hot...? I mean she couldn't walk so I guess so. I don't think she even ate enough to be able to throw up."

the panic in his voice had his mother stressing just as much but she stayed on the line until he got back home and wished him luck because she knew just how stubborn you were when it came to being sick.

when he got home you were sleeping, your eyebrows knitted together in discomfort which made him feel horrible. how was he supposed to take care of you like this? he didn't know what he was doing at all.

but gavi pushed it aside and decided to call it a night and left the bathroom light on just in case. he crept in beside you, making sure to place a soft kiss on your forehead that had gotten significantly warmer than last he checked but he didn't bother waking you.

it didn't take long for him to fall asleep, his arm loosely wrapped around your torso and it was a miracle that he didn't wake up because of all your tossing and turning.

beads of sweat began to form on your forehead and you felt light-headed but still tried your best to at least try and sleep. but you just couldn't, not when you felt this uncomfortable and were in pain.

at some point, you got up for some water to try and soothe whatever you were feeling but then the hot flushes started, and you were struggling to breathe. you were an utter mess, dizzily making your way back to bed while the floor spun beneath you.

short of breath you leant against your bedroom door— and the bang must've been loud because gavi began to stir awake, which was the last thing you wanted. he woke up to the empty space beside him and immediately shot up, his eyes squinted due to the bathroom light being on.

you watched his blurry figure get out of bed, not able to make out what he was saying by the overwhelming feeling of pain and discomfort drowning you. gavi pulled you toward his chest, his hand lightly touching your forehead and neck.

next thing you knew, you were sitting on the bathroom floor unable to catch a proper breath because you were so overwhelmed.

gavi was panicking— his heart racing as well as his thoughts because he just didn't know what to do. the closest he'd gotten to taking care of you was when you were on your period, and his routine had already been drilled in for the past two years you've been together.

he'd have your toiletry cabinet stocked, and your snack cabinet never emptied. your heating pads were always at the ready along with your tea. and your most important necessity— him. you took refuge on his chest in your moments of pain, his hand carefully places over your stomach to soothe the pain.

but this was different. he felt useless, watching you helplessly like a lost puppy.

"it's okay amor, I'm here," he said soothingly and set you against his chest on the bathroom floor, but not even the cold tiles could soothe your increasing temperature.

you fell limp against your boyfriend but fought the urge to break down. instead, a painful groan left your lips, one that had gavi holding onto you tighter in fear.

"it hurts," you croaked while trying to steady your shaky breaths.

"what hurts hm?" it sounded as if he was on the verge of tears and that had your heart shattered. gavi was paranoid by nature, especially when it came to you. so you couldn't begin to imagine what was running through him mind right now.

you took his hand into yours and put it on your chest. "everything. everything hurts."

gavi felt your shaky breaths and sat in silence, unsure of what to say— but he needed to get you that medication immediately. it wasn't going to have an immediate effect and he'd probably have to take you to the doctor tomorrow but as long as it soothed some of your pain.

he got up from the floor as delicately as he could, watching as you tried to sit up by yourself which wasn't what he wanted. "come here, angel." he picked you up with ease, cradling your body gently as you wrapped your legs around his waist and rested your head on his shoulders.

while he walked down the stairs he wondered how you didn't pass out on them on your way to fetch that glass of water. his mind flooded with thoughts like this until he made it to the kitchen and set you down on the island.

"pablo," you said breathlessly and your boyfriend immediately got through the last of your medication and set it down beside you, a worried hum leaving his lips.

he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and held the pills in front of you. you counted 4 and took each one as quick as possible, the water making no difference to the cooling of your temperature when it travelled down your throat.

by the time you were done, gavi had gotten a fresh cloth and began dabbing it on your neck and forehead. the two of you were enveloped in silence— your head spinning but your boyfriend's fingers resting on the small of your back, tracing small shapes on your skin beneath your shirt.

it was when you let your head rest on his shoulder that gavi felt the need to speak up, just above a whisper. "I have no idea what I'm doing right now."

your heart swelled at the sound of his half-hearted chuckle because for someone who didn't know what he was doing, he was doing a great job. he'd been so patient with you from the second he saw you lying limp on the couch. he held his composure and handled you so gently, taking the initiative and making sure that you felt at least somewhat better.

he didn't see it, but you did and were so grateful.

you left a light kiss on his neck. "don't say that amor. sure I still feel like passing out--"

"--are you serious?" he asked in shock, an upset groan leaving his mouth as he pulled away from you. "this isn't going to work."

"no baby--"

he was panicking. beating himself up for thinking that he could take care of you in this state, what did he know? he was only a child. "oh god, we need a real adult. someone who actually knows what they're doing."

you couldn't help but stifle a laugh at his rambling out of sheer panic. it was endearing in a way, your gaze softening at the innocent glint in his eyes because he was just so adorable. you urged him to calm down, your voice was soft and warm as you pulled him closer to you.

"are you not an adult, hm?" you teased with a smile and cupped his cheeks, and to your surprise, he said no without hesitation.

gavi proceeded to go on about how he still had you treating him like a baby, that you took care of him and that he was utterly useless when it came to helping you. of course, you strongly disagreed because you did feel better.

he stared into your eyes, trying to calm himself down while you reassured him. "do you not make me feel at ease? safe? comfortable? loved?" you kissed him on the cheek when he didn't reply.

"exactly, so stop being ridiculous."

gavi melted at your touch, sinking further into the crook of your neck for another moment before he took you back to bed so that you could get some sleep.

you rested your head on his chest, legs over his because you felt the need to be that close to him tonight. you felt sleep finally settle on your chest at the soothing feeling of his fingers running through your hair.

"I love you."

gavi's chest tightened at the suddenness. he shut his eyes and thanked the universe that you were in his life and kissed the top of your head. "I love you too, cariño."

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[reiderwriter]

Hi :) I've never requested before and am a little embarrassed to be here. But I'm also in my Spencer Reid Brainrot era and am a fan of your writing! I was thinking something with a virgin female reader who is genophobic (specifically fear of vaginal penetration, in her case) and Spencer helps her work through her fear and try something new? She doesnt need to have trauma, just the phobia. Either BAU or non BAU reader is fine, just as long as they aren't initially dating and there is a slow build up to the intimacy. Also, could it be race-blind? (e.g "I could see she was embarrassed" instead of "her cheeks turned pink") Fluff, smut, and mutual pining. Ack, please it would make my MONTH!!

-❤️‍🩹

A/N: I really hope I did this one justice!! It was fun to research and write and ahhh the slow burn (which was definitely a lot faster than it should have been if I had more time 🫣 sorry). I hope you like it!

W/C: 5k

Warnings: Genophobia (fear of sexual intimacy), panic attack, heavy petting, oral (F receiving), virgin reader, inexperienced Spencer, two idiots in love again, vaginal sex, fingering, contraception actually used! Mainly soft and sweet sex 😊

Find my masterlist here! Get ready for kinktober with me here!

It was your worst nightmare come true.

You’d had a crush on Spencer for the last three years, working with him in the BAU since Elle had left. You’d joined the team alongside Emily and immediately become enamored with the boy genius, and how could you not? He was smart, and handsome, and most importantly, he respected boundaries.

But here he was in front of you, probably saying the words that you most wanted to hear from him, but he was so close, your heart was beating uncomfortably in your chest, your breath short and your eyes hazy and unfocused for all the wrong reasons.

“Just… If you don’t feel the same, I understand and I’ll never mention it again, but if there’s any chance that you.. That you love me the same way I love you, please tell me.” He had you boxed in against the wall, not touching you exactly, but so close you could feel his breath on your neck, could see the desperation in his eyes as he poured his heart out to you.

The man of your dreams was confessing his love to you, and you were on the verge of a panic attack at his attention.

“Spencer, I have to go,” you gasped out, grasping your chest as you begged your lungs to start working again, as you begged your mouth to stay and explain. But the tears were burning in the corners of your eyes and you had to run from the intimacy of the moment. “I have to... I’m sorry, Spencer, I can’t…” You didn’t get any other words out before you bolted out the door, desperate to find a bathroom stall to cry in. You weren’t sure if the tears were from the very real fear you’d just confronted or the realization that you’d probably just ruined your chances with Spencer Reid.

–X–

A week later, and the awkward tension between the two of you hadn’t dissipated. You wanted to explain yourself, of course, you did, but with the hurt look on Spencer’s face shooting through you every time you were at the other end of his gaze, combined with the absolute fear of being known and judged, you had guiltily kept your mouth shut.

The rest of the team had noticed, of course. The two of you were sending pining looks after one another whenever the other had their back turned, even when preoccupied with a prolific highway murderer, the team would be blind not to see it. Unfortunately for you, the members of the BAU weren’t the ones to let the tension go unconfronted, so you found yourself in increasingly solitary situations, alone but for the company of Spencer himself.

You’d been assigned to work the geographical profile with Spencer, despite usually working alongside Hotch, more used to comforting and interviewing families than analyzing charts and maps. The opportunity to explain had been handed to you on a silver platter, and you had to take it.

“Spencer, can we talk?” You blurted the words out after an unbearably long silence, having watched the man read case file after case file while you distractedly bumbled along beside him.

He paused and gave a small nod, bringing his head up, but not quite meeting your gaze.

“When you… When you said those things last week, did you mean them?”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Y/N.” The words were tense, but his voice was soft, his eyes holding a resigned look.

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry, shit, everything I say is going to sound like an excuse but I’m so sorry…” you rambled, trying to work up the courage to say what you actually wanted to.

“You don’t have to apologize for not feeling the same way I do. It’s okay, I know I’m not the easiest person to love and-”

“You are. You are, Spencer, don’t even think that you are the problem here, because you are not.” You gasped for breath as you pushed the words out unexpectedly, surprising even yourself with the conviction of your tone.

“I love you, Spencer, I do, I just…” You blinked back the tears again as your voice suddenly became a whisper.

“You know when we talked about our… our fears a few weeks back? And I said that I didn’t have anything specific that came to mind?” He listened attentively as you stuttered out the words.

“I lied. When… people get close to me, and when they get close to me in a way that specifically suggests that… suggests that they like me the way you like me, my chest gets tight, and I can’t breathe. Spencer, I’m… I’m scared of sex.”

You let the confession hang in the air between you, almost afraid to look up and see the sympathetic look in Spencer’s eyes. But you had to eventually, and you were surprised.

The man wasn’t even looking at you, and his expression couldn’t even be described as concerned, let alone empathetic.

“Spencer? Did you hear what I said?” He looked up and smiled at you, keeping his distance still, but opening up to you, facing you with open body language, putting all his attention on you without moving even an inch closer.

“Genophobia. Y/N, you’re describing Genophobia. It’s the fear of physical intimacy that often stems from a fear of pain during sexual intimacy or from physical symptoms, such as Vaginosis. Y/N, you don’t hate me.” His grin widened, and you let out a little laugh at the hopeful look on his face as he breathed out that last statement.

“No, no Spencer, I couldn’t hate you.”

“Good, because I thought I’d taken it too far… Nevermind. Y/N, is… is this something you want to work through?” His tone was cautious, and you were touched by the seriousness he was approaching with. Your previous boyfriends had mocked you when you explained why you couldn’t have sex with them, few as they may have been. You’d never been treated with such gentleness.

“Yes. I really want to work through it, but… Spencer, it might take a long time. Is that okay?” He considered your question for a minute, then replied with his own.

“Y/N, can I lean in and kiss your cheek, please? I won’t touch you anywhere else, I just want…please?” You felt a warmth bubbling under your cheeks at the situation, your tongue growing thick in your mouth, not allowing you to respond. You opted for a small nod instead, watching his every move as he slowly moved in.

Placing his hands on the table, he lifted himself up from his chair, keeping them firmly planted there so you could see that he wasn’t going to initiate anything further. His lips finally hit your cheek, and your heart started beating in that familiar way that it usually did, but you forced yourself to hold still until he pulled away. He did so quickly.

“Y/N, I don’t care how long it takes you to be comfortable with me. I’m just happy you chose me.” He finished, then grabbed a file and exited the room, leaving you alone again to calm your heart and un-fog your brain.

–X–

The case closed a few days later, but you didn’t have another chance to talk to Spencer anymore about your relationship, being so caught up in serving justice to the families of the victims. But as Friday approached, your job was finished, an unsub handed over to the authorities ready for prosecution, and you could finally fly back home.

Which is how you found yourself, on the last evening of the work week, pacing outside of his apartment, freaking out about whether you should knock or not. You’d held your hand up to knock a few times, but ultimately let it fall to your side, cursing your cowardice. It was just a door. He was just a man. A man who really cared about you. A man who wanted you. That thought should have had you jumping into his arms at every given opportunity, instead, it was causing heart palpitations at the thought of knocking on a door.

In the end, you didn’t have to knock.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” You heard his voice from behind you as you jumped in place, startled by the fact that he was actually there.

“Shit, Spencer, don’t do that, you scared me.” You grabbed your chest and took a deep breath. He stood still, waiting for your answer to his previous question.

“I was just… Can I come in?”

“Oh. Oh, yeah of course, here let me…” His words trailed off as he grabbed his keys from his pocket, fumbling them slightly as he struggled to get the key into the door.

“Take a seat wherever you… Can, I guess? Sorry, I was doing some reading before I left.” He smiled awkwardly as you walked into the space, and you giggled a little at the confession, seeing that there was really only one open space on the couch left for you to occupy without having to perch awkwardly on the arm of the chair.

You took the seat, moving a single book onto a stack on the sofa next to you, and watched the man as he took off his scarf and coat, storing them and then awkwardly turning back to the couch. He looked around for a place to sit, and, coming to the same conclusion as you did, chose to perch himself on the opposite arm of the sofa to you.

“Oh, Spencer, this is your house, you should sit comfortably.”

“No, you’re a guest, it’s fine. I want you to feel comfortable. What did you want to talk about?” He cleared his throat a little and then turned his eyes back to you, signaling that he was ready to listen attentively.

“Oh…. I was hoping…. Spencer, can you touch me?” You saw his face flush at your suggestion, and your eyes widened at your own foolish wording.

“Shit, not like that. Not that I don’t want you to touch me like that, but I think it’s too soon, and I’m still not comfortable with that. I was just hoping that you could, you know, hold me for a while, like a hug or something?” You rambled it all out, and you could hear yourself rambling but you couldn’t stop it. The words dropped from your mouth before you could even think about stopping them, and you felt the blood rush to your head as you cringed slightly at the situation.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You’re…. You’re okay with that?” You asked, looking hopefully up at Spencer.

“Do you want to sit together, or were you thinking something else?” You jumped up from your seat then, and glanced around the room as you considered his words.

“Oh, um, sitting together would be good I suppose?” He nodded and lifted himself up from the arm, moving closer to you.

“I’m going to sit here, you should probably just join me when you want to, okay?” He whispered the words with a tender smile on his face, and you felt some of the tension in your shoulders disappear. It was incredible that he could do that with a simple smile, that with one glance he could relax your whole body enough to let you push yourself to the limits of your fear.

You gained some confidence, and after letting him get settled in the seat you had just vacated, you moved to straddle his lap. You heard his sharp intake of breath as you wrapped your arms up around his neck, nervously wondering if what you were doing was right.

“Is this okay for you, Y/N?” He asked, stuttering through the words as he struggled to stay focused on you.

“It’s okay now. I want to push myself a little.” You ran your hands down his arms, which had so far lain politely still on the sofa beside him before you pulled them around yourself, letting the hug deepen. He was warm, and between the two of you, you weren’t sure whose heartbeat was louder. You could hear both of them, the room totally still except for your breaths and blinks.

“Y/N, can I… can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You whispered the word in a voice so small, you were sure he hadn’t heard it, as his head crept towards you so slowly you were sure he wasn’t moving. Eventually, you felt his breath on your skin more, and then his lips were softly pressing against your own, the pressure gentle, not demanding any more than what you were currently giving him.

You melted into it, pushing yourself further into his warmth, your chests now pressed together as he languidly moved his lips against yours, claiming them again and again and again. You kept pushing and pushing into him, growing more sloppy in your kisses, grabbing onto the back of his sweater with two desperate fists, needing him close.

It wasn’t until your hips bucked involuntarily in his lap, unconsciously demanding friction that you began to panic once again, immediately pulling your lips and torso out of his reach.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I can’t… it’s… shit it’s not you, Spencer. God, I’m such an idiot.” You pulled your hands over your eyes, embarrassed at the thought of being seen by him right then, but still firmly seated in his lap.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said, pulling your hands away from your face with a gentle touch. “It’s okay, Y/N. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” You nodded at his words and took a few more minutes to compose yourself.

“Can we…can we just cuddle for a while? Like this?” You asked, and his smile instantly became bright.

“I would love to. Let’s move some of these books though.” You shifted the books quickly and then fell back into his lap, his body now laying more vertically than before, stretching out into the larger space now available on the couch. You pushed your head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat, following it with your own, and letting it be the soundtrack to your descent into sleep.

–X–

Waking up in his arms was a life-changing experience. Sometime during your sleep, he had carried you to his bed, letting you sleep soundly as he made you more comfortable. He hadn’t taken any of your clothes off, of course, just removed your shoes and made sure you were warm enough in the skirt and blouse you had been wearing.

Your position had changed, too, and it was one of the first things you noticed as you blinked your eyes open, trying to rid them of sleep as you greeted the new day. Instead of being below you, he was behind you, pressed against you with a hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into him like a child clutching a favored toy.

“Spence,” you whispered through a grin. “Spencer, wake up.” You turned your head around to him, but he moaned in his sleep, not wanting to leave his rest just yet. You giggled at his childlike petulance, trying to shift around to face him, but his grip was too tight. Pushing against him, you felt something, hard, pushing against your back. You shifted again, but it was still there, and it took you only a few more seconds to figure out what it was.

“Shit, Spencer, wake up,” your tone probably sounded more frantic than you felt, as it woke him quickly now, his body releasing yours enough to let him pull himself up, taking stock of the room as he looked around searching for what had panicked you.

“What is it, are you okay?” He returned his eyes to your face, but your gaze had slipped down his body, and through the much looser fitting sweatpants he’d thrown on at some point during the night, you could see the outline of his cock.

Curiously, the very sight didn’t have you bolting, as it had in situations in the past. You had frozen, of course, but you weren’t filled with as much dread as you had been only a few days prior with his confession.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that, it’s a biological reaction and… well it’s not purely biological, I do really have feelings for you, but I don’t want you to feel pressured, and… Let me go and get rid of this.” He moved to stand, but you grabbed his arm before he could completely pull away, his hand still resting on your waist.

“Wait… Could we continue from where we were last night?” You looked up at him, the embarrassment of your words sending a rush of adrenaline through your body, almost forcing you to take them back immediately.

“You… you want that?” For the second time in 24 hours, a whispered ‘yes’ was all it took to have him crash his lips into yours. The pressure was the same, but with his body hovering over yours, it felt even more intimate. His hands rubbed small reassuring circles on your hips, as you opened up to him, wanting to pull the full force of his weight down onto you.

His hand fell to your face as he encouraged you to open your mouth to his tongue, letting him explore it thoroughly as he lazily worked his mouth against your own. There was no fight for dominance here, just two people deeply exploring the feeling of one another, so wrapped up in the pleasure that no other thoughts could cross your minds. Not even that of fear.

He pulled away for a breath, and your lips trailed him, trying to capture him again and force him back to you, but he evaded you softly.

“Y/N, can I try something? I want to touch you…more. Is that okay?” You were so desperate for the feeling of his lips against yours again that you moaned out the yes before you even processed his words. His lips fell back against yours, but his weight shifted above you as his right hand trailed down your leg and then back up underneath your skirt.

The touch was so delicate that you shivered under the attention, but you felt your heart start beating faster and faster as he got closer to your center. He asked you once again, and you agreed before he finally touched you through the safety of your panties.

You moaned into the kiss as he cupped you, letting his thumb fall to your clit and beginning to explore you more. He swallowed each and every sound you made with his lips, committing every move you made, every reaction to memory. You grew more pliable under all his attentions, growing comfortable in reacting to his every movement, letting him control the pace and flow of your shared caresses. A heat was growing at the depth of your stomach, and you knew it was coming.

Your brain finally kicked back into gear as your orgasm washed over you, your eyes jolting open as he released your mouth, the breathless moan that erupted from you causing your entire body to tense up. You pushed him away, and clutched your chest, scrambling up into a seated position as he quickly noted the change in your body language, letting you out of his grip.

You struggled to get your breathing out of control, desperately searching for a way out, an excuse, or anything to say to make you feel better, but you came up blank.

“I’m sorry… I’m really…” You couldn’t force out any other words before you jumped out of his bed and bolted out of the apartment, having ruined everything again for the second time.

–X–

Another week ticked by before you knew it, and you still hadn’t talked to Spencer since he’d pushed you over the edge. The fact that he hadn’t tried to talk to you either had you convincing yourself that it meant whatever you shared was over now.

It was a nice feeling to share, but you couldn’t keep it up forever, just like you hadn’t been able to in any of your previous relationships. But there was something about Spencer that you didn’t want to give up on, so you didn’t.

You spent the week looking up advice on how to deal with your fear, booking appointments with Sex Therapists, and, to put it kindly, getting your body used to the idea of sexual interaction. You bought a small vibrator a day or two after you slept over at his house, nothing that would enter you, just something to play with to increase your confidence as you prepared yourself to apologize to him.

But despite all of your efforts, the tension was still running high in the team as they all noticed the sudden disconnect between you and your maybe-boyfriend.

So, with the newly discovered commitment to self-improvement, you found yourself at his door again on another Friday night, this time confidently knocking at the first attempt.

“Y/N, you’re here.” He said, mouth hanging open slightly as his unasked question hung in the air.

“I wanted to talk. About everything.”

“Sure, come in, come in.” He shut the door behind you, and you didn’t bother walking further than the entryway before you started again, not wanting to lose your conviction.

“Spencer, I want you to make love to me. I freaked out last time, and I ran away, and that was so shitty of me, but I think I’m ready now - I went to see this therapist and she gave me some advice, and I’ve been… I’ve been touching myself so I can get myself used to the idea of someone else touching me. And you’re the only person who I want to touch and to touch me, and you’re everything I’ve been thinking about, and I don’t want you to avoid me anymore or think this isn’t going anywhere.” You were almost breathless as you finished, having let your sentences blur into one, not bothering to pause in your exploration.

“Oh, thank god,” Spencer said, wrapping his hands around you suddenly, pulling you to him with a strength you didn’t know he had. “Well, not thank god that you want to have sex with me, thank god that I didn’t push it too far. I thought you hated me after last time, I thought I was trying to selfishly get you to open up too quickly, and I felt so bad about it.” He rambled just the same as you had, not letting go of you for all the world.

“You know, I’ve checked out like 50 books on sexual psychology from the University library this week, I was afraid the librarian was going to call the police on me for creepy behavior or something.” He laughed into you, letting his head drop to your shoulder as he held you comfortably.

“Spencer, that is so sweet.” You felt the sugar in your grin, knowing that this unabashed happiness wasn’t going away anytime soon, any negative feelings at being held this closely dissipating when faced with the love of his actions.

“I’m going to ask again, is that okay?” You nodded at his boyish grin, and he grinned down at you fondly.

“Y/N, may I kiss-” You didn’t let him finish, pushing yourself up on your toes to lock your lips with his before he could.

“Yes. Always yes.” You said releasing him, foreheads resting together.

“I know, but I like to ask.” His lips were on you again then, as he walked you back through his apartment, not stopping once to release your lips. Before you knew it, he was picking you up, and gently returning you to the bed you’d bolted from the week before.

He released you for a breath, and you pushed your top up and off, throwing it to the ground as he stared at you like you had personally each and every star in the sky.

“You’re amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He mumbled the words into your skin, before letting his hands once again fall under your skirt, beginning to massage your ass with a firm but still loving embrace. He pulled you against him again, your kisses becoming more and more needy as you felt him grow against you, with each stroke of his tongue forcing your hips to rub together deliciously.

“You know,” he spoke slowly, letting his lips fall down your neck and chest. “All of the literature I read suggested that foreplay was a good way to combat Genophobia. The more prepared you are for the actual sexual act, the less you worry about the ‘pain’ of it all.”

“What are you saying, Spencer?” You whispered, your heart beating fast, but not in an uncomfortable way anymore.

“I’m saying I want to make you feel good. Can I?” His lips had reached your skirt then, and he said the words as his head rested against your thigh, hands slowly pushing your legs wider and wider.

You nodded, and he dived in, at first licking through your underwear as you moaned and writhed underneath him. His hands worked the panties down your legs as he kissed your inner thighs, pushing your skirt up and over your hips so you could watch his every move.

“Fuck Spencer,” you ground into his face again as he returned his tongue to your now soaking hole, desperately chasing the pleasure of his attention. You’d had the time to explore this week, obviously, but it was nothing like this. Every kiss, every suck, every lick, spoke a thousand words to his devotion to you, his love being pressed into you from between your legs. You didn’t know it could be like this. You didn’t think it would be with anyone who wasn’t him.

“Spencer, I can feel it…. Spencer, don’t stop.” You worked a hand into his hair and shamelessly bucked into him now, you high hitting you just like you knew it would. If the first time had been a surprise, this time had been an inevitability. You felt him keep up his ministrations, letting you ride out the full wave of pleasure. When he finally pulled away, he looked into your eyes for confirmation that everything he’d done was okay. Moving a hand to wipe your arousal from his mouth, you stopped him mid-motion and pulled him back on top of you, wrapping your tongue around his own and delighting in the taste of his success.

“Let’s keep going,” you said softly into his ear, and he moaned his approval, before quickly divesting himself of his pants and grabbing a condom from his bedside table.

“Morgan got me a pack of these at Christmas, as a joke, y’know,” he laughed, kissing down your neck again, paying special attention to the few spots darkening to splashes of red.

“Not the time, Spencer,” you laugh at him, and he squeaks out an apology before lining himself up with you.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” He asks, a concerned look plastered on his face, and you pull him down for one short tender kiss before answering again.

“I have never been so sure of any decision I have made in my life, as I am sure about you.” He pressed a kiss to your lips in thanks and then slowly began to fill you up.

There was a small panic in the back of your mind, but he kissed praise into your skin, replacing all of your negative thoughts with nothing but his words, his actions, his love. You relaxed as he stretched you out, not moving his hips but letting his hand return between your legs to help you further adjust to the newness of it all.

You saw a panicked look fall across his face as he kissed away small tears that fell from your eyes, each a small apology for the pain, the confusion of your mixed emotions, but you just laughed his concern away.

“Happy tears, Spencer. They’re happy tears.” He laughed with you then, and with one last seeking out of your approval, you began to move together. His thrusts were slow, lavishing you with attention, letting you feel all of him as his body sought your pleasure. Your legs wrapped around him, unable to stop the desperate need to buck up, up, up with each of his downward strokes.

You were a mess of limbs and kisses, neither of you experienced enough to know how to do anything past what felt good, what felt natural, and you spent your time together like that, giggling with each chaste kiss, moaning and sighing as you both worked your way up to an ecstatic release.

Falling down on top of you after you came together, Spencer didn’t pull out, holding you somehow closer than before as you both let the oxygen return to your lungs.

“I love you,” he whispered into your lips.

“I love you,” you whispered back.

Yes, it was not going to be like that with anyone else. And you didn’t want anyone else at all, now that you finally had him.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds smut #requested #❤️‍🩹 Anon

[lovelybrooke]

Hello I love your writing!! And while reading the concept of yandere spiderverse i was very curious about the part where Miguel doesn't let reader leave HQ.Can you write about reader trying to leave the HQ through the Go-home machine to go back to their universe because they felt so isolated (y'know because being stuck at HQ all the time) but they get caught on the way by Miguel because he was watching them through those hologram cameras?

Right where you belong (Platonic yandere Spiderverse x reader)

I might have went off the rails and included some other characters, but I hope you enjoy.

Masterlist

---

"This is for your own good."

That's what you're constantly told whenever you beg Miguel to let you go back to your dimension.

"You're here because it's safe."

He left no room for questions, his figure leaving an impression on every inch of the Headquarters. No matter where you went, who you were with, how alone you felt, you always knew in the back of your mind that he was watching you.

A portion of you knew that he didn't want you to leave because it be harder to keep an eye on you.

"Hey. Whatcha thinking about?" You look up, it was Hobie, in your doorway. You quickly snap out of your distracted state, shaking your head. "What's that." He mentions his head towards your computer, causing you to gasp quietly and close the tab.

"It's nothing." You say, a little bit meaner than you wanted. "What do you need." You ask.

Hobie gives you a small smile, resting his head on the doorway as he crosses his arms. He shuts, nonchalant "Nothin', just checking up on you." He answers. You give him a silent nod, looking back at your computer, only to embarrassingly look at your hands when the screen what blank.

"You sure you're okay?" Hobie's now in your room, standing right next to you. He towers over you from your seated position, causing you to sink into yourself, refusing to look right at him. "You look anxious.'

"I'm fine!" It was loud and defensive, which obvious didn't convince Hobie. "I'm fine..." You say again, quieter this time. You pick at your nails for a bit, eyes darting all around your desk as you feel Hobie place a hand on your back. You stammer as you attempt to figure out your thoughts.

"What's your universe like, Hobie." The worlds tumbled quietly out of your mouth, almost like you were scared to speak. Hobie watches as your knees are brought up to your chest, your arms wrapping around them in a tight hug, protective.

You feel Hobie's hand tighten on your shirt. You try your best not to flinch, but you know Hobie probably felt it, judging by how his hand leaves your back not soon after. "It's pretty boring, not gonna lie to you." He laughs, but you remain silent, your heavy breaths the only sound you make. "It's probably just like yours."

"I don't remember what my dimension was like." You say, causing Hobie's smile to drop. He slowly crouches down to your hight, turning your chair towards him. His face was serious, and he was looking you right in his eyes.

"You miss your dimension, that's why you've been acting up." He asks, tilting his head a bit. You nod, looking away from him and hugging your legs even tighter. He slowly extends a hand towards you, unravelling your fingers and holding your hand tight in his. "How bout this, why don't I take you to my dimension." He smiles at you, it widening when your face lights up. "You just have to stay quiet, less the big boss finds out." You nod quickly, standing up face, nearly causing Hobie to stumble over. You pull him towards the door.

"Hey! Calm down, it ain't going anywhere!"

---

Somehow, your hangout with Hobie actually meant a hangout with the rest of the crew.

Gwen showed up for a sweater, only to spot you at the kitchen table and envelope you in a tight hug, rambling about how this is the last place she'd ever expect to see you. Of course, since Gwen was here, Miles was bound to show up, and Pavitr wasn't far behind. Eventually, the room was filled up with music and laughter, something you hadn't heard in a long time.

"It's nice to hang out with you outside of HQ, (Y/n)!" Pavitr says, hanging off your shoulder. You pat his head, urging him to move away from you, only for him to hold onto you tighter, giggling.

"Yeah, well it's not like I have a choice or anything." You laugh, but the room shifts slightly, something you take notice of. You can see the others become more stilted, the air almost awkward.

"Speaking of." Gwen speaks up, rubbing the back of her neck. "Does Miguel know you're here?" You shake your head, but your smile doesn't change. It feels kind of nice to not be around Miguel, to know he's not watching you. Even though you knew you were doing something wrong, it felt nice to prioritize yourself for once.

The room though, it was silent, minus the small drone of music that played though Hobie's speakers in the background. You stare at everyone, shaking your head slightly with a raised brow. "what's up?"

"He's gonna be real mad when you get back, just so you know." Miles states the obvious, sitting down next to Gwen. You give him a blank look, rolling your eyes at him.

"Yeah, I know that it's just--" You pause, looking away slightly, suddenly aware of everyone's gaze on you. "I'm tired of being there all the time, y'know. You all have a place to go back to, and with me...I don't really belong anywhere." Your voice was quiet, and small, but it carried weight.

Hobie moves to the kitchen table, sitting down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and bringing you into his side. You don't start crying, but your eyes water as he rubs your arm up and down.

"Don't say that." Hobie says as others rush by, offering their support in the forms of words or hugs. "You belong here, with us." He says, his voice close to your ear. You feel warm, and happy, and you can't help but let out a few tears at the comfort coming from all around you.

"And if you ever need a place to hide out, my doors always open."

---

You attempt to be as quiet as possible when coming back to HQ. Hobie couldn't stay long, but hoped you'd stay out of sight from Miguel.

That didn't seem possible.

He was sitting on the edge of your bed when you entered into your room. You jumped slightly at the sight of him, dropping your bag on the floor as his eyes met yours.

"Where were you?" Was the first thing he asked when you entered into the room.

You advert your gaze from him, chest heaving up and down as you attempt to figure out an answer. "I-I was...um." You stammer. Miguel gets up, walking straight towards you.

"Where were you?" He asks again, standing right in front of you, looking down at your terrified figure.

"With Hobie." You admit "But...it was just for a while, not long at all! And I didn't even leave his apartment, we just listened to music and hanged out! That's all!" You explain.

"I saw what was on your computer." He said, straightforward. "You've figured it about by now, haven't you." You give him a slow nod, causing him to sigh.

"You know I had to do it right?" He talks, crouching down. He was now face to face with you. His face was stern, like always, but there was a hint of softness that was nearly unrecognizable. "Your universe was going to be destroyed either way. It was the only way to protect you." He places a hand on your cheek, ignoring the tears coating it.

You don't move as he strokes a tear rolling down for face. You don't move when he pushes you into a hug. It wasn't warm, it made you feel lonely, and sad. It was not the comforting embrace you learned to expect from your friends. It was cold and possessive, and it was a constant reminder that you'd never truly leave him.

No matter how hard you try.

---

A/n: I know this is short but I hope you enjoy.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #across the spider verse #yandere spiderman #gwen spiderverse #spider gwen #across the spiderverse #platonic yandere miguel o'hara #miles molares x reader #hobie brown x reader #hobie spiderverse #pavitr prabhakar

[bellaramslover]

Late Night Shift

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: You have to work the late shift and it is absolutely terrible, you come home to your girlfriend Abby who comforts you and reminds you everything will be ok.

Cw: showering together(non-sexually), crying/breaking down, stress/exhaustion, female reader

You dropped your coat on the back of one of your kitchen table chairs, a heavy sigh falling from your lips. You kicked your shoes off and left them messily by the door. It was well past ten, which was the time you were supposed to get off work. No, now it was, you pulled out your phone, 12:30 am.

You all but threw your work bag at the counter, not giving any care to the items that spilled out. You made your way upstairs and into your bedroom, a small smile made its way on your face as you saw Abby.

She was completely in her element, kegs crossed with a blanket up to her waist. A book in her hands and black, thin reading glasses adorning her face. Her hair framed her face perfectly, she'd let it down out of the usual tight braid.

"Hi baby." She cooed, setting her book down as she smiled at you from where you stood in the doorway.

"Hi." Your voice was quiet and weaker than you'd like it to be, you dropped your head down with a grimace on your face.

Abbys brows creased into an expression of worry. And before you knew it your bottom lip was quivering and tears were building in your eyes. You kept your head down in shame, you hated crying in front of people.

Even if you knew Abby loved you so dearly, and would never judge you. Something about being vulnerable in front of others made you sick to your stomach. But the way Abby would hold you and tell you everything was ok made it feel tolerable.

"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, her tone laced with sympathy.

You just sniffled and held yourself in a hug as tears relentlessly fell from your face. And of course Abby was rushing to your side in no time, wrapping her own arms around you as she brought you over to your shared bed. She laid down and pulled you into her side, you sighed as you moved to be more on top of her.

Your legs intertwined with her own and one of your arms wrapped around her while the other was laid on her chest. Your breathing became irregular as your sobs took over your body.

"I just had a t-terrible day and I has to stay at work l-la-" you groaned loudly in frustration, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you couldn't get your words out.

"I know baby, you had to stay late. It's ok, I know." She shushed you, knowing you were having a tough time saying what you wanted to.

She brought a hand to your head, combing her fingers through your hair. While her other one stayed at your side, rubbing up and down soothingly. She placed a light kiss on your forehead, then one at the top of your head.

You cried harder underneath her touch, finally being able to release all that you'd held back throughout the day. She just laid there silently and held you, her heart aching at how upset you'd been. She seriously wanted to rip whoever got you like this a new one. Finally, she'd ask,

"You wanna talk about it?" In the sweetest voice too.

"Yeah." You answered, nodding.

"Alright, whenever you're ready baby. I'm right here." She reassured you, another way of saying take your time.

After calming down for the most part, you grabbed her hand and interlocked your fingers with her own before explaining all the difficulties of your day.

"So, first of all, Riley wasn't even there today so that was a bummer," Riley was your best work friend, "Then I got stuck with not one, but two fucking party tables. And if my night couldn't get any worse, Gary didn't show up so I had to cover his shift. Thats why I was so late. And I wanted to get home early so we could watch a movie." You sniffled, snuggling against her as you closed your eyes with relaxation at the feeling of her fingers in your hair.

"Baby I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. I just want you to know that you're so strong and one bad day doesn't mean a bad life. Everything's gonna be ok and we can watch something tomorrow night." She brought her hand to your chin, picking your head up so you looked at her.

She gave you a small smile before kissing your left cheek, then your right, the tip of your nose, your forehead, and finally your lips. You smiled into the kiss, laying your head back on her chest after you pulled away.

"I just didn't want you to be mad since I was really late.." You murmured.

"What? Of course I'm not mad. I'm just glad I get to hold you and be with you now." She answered, hugging you tightly with her big strong arms.

Your breathing slowed and you sighed against her. She moved her hands all over your back, fingernails grazing it in the most relaxing way. As much as you wanted to just lay there forever, you wanted to get changed and shower. So you slowly got up, making your way to the dresser.

"Shower?" Abby asked.

"Yeah." You nodded.

"You want me to join you?" She asked, already standing to follow you to the bathroom.

You just nodded again, giggling a bit as Abby walked over to undress you. And she took her time, in the best way possible. Finally she'd stripped you all the way down and you got into the shower, which was almost too hot but not quite there. Just how you liked it.

You brought your hands to smoth your hair back as the water trickled down your back. Abby stepped in to join you shortly after, a smile present on her face at how relaxed you'd gotten. You chuckle a bit as you move past her, grabbing your shampoo bottle and getting ready to open it. Abby stops you, taking the bottle for herself.

"Let me." She says, pouring a quarter size droplet into her hand then rubbing her hands together.

You lean your head back just the slightest and your breath stutters as her hands meet your hair. She takes her time, giving you a wonderful scalp massage as she suds up your hair. Once she finally is done you wish she wasn't because of how good it felt. But you turn around and rinse your hair anyways.

You grab onto Abbys shoulders to turn her around so you can return the favor, but she shakes her head.

"Oh I already showered before you got home." She simply said.

"Wh- then why'd you wanna join me?" You ask with a light scoff.

Abby shrugs, and you roll your eyes at her.

"Quit staring at my boobs and grab the body wash." You tease and she laughs a bit.

She grabbed your loofah and pours a generous amount of body wash onto it. Then she's of course washing your body for you, first your shoulders then your chest and your stomach. And then your legs, and you of course take notice to how she goes just that much slower at your thighs and ass.

You pay it no mind as you turn so your back faces her and rinse off all the soap. Abby watches with a sparkle of adoration in her eyes. You finish up and step out of the shower, she immediately follows you and is wrapping you up in a towel in seconds. You crack a smile as she stands behind you, wrapped in her own towel as she holds your waist and kisses you along your jaw, neck, and collarbone.

Eventually she let's you get dressed, your pj's consist of a pair of black biker shorts and one of Abby’s t-shirts that basically belonged to you now. Abby smiled lazily at the sight of you, so comfortable and in your element.

She opened her arms for you from where she sat on your shared bed. You climbed onto her, smooshing your face in the crook of her neck as you wrapped your arms around her back. She wrapped her own arms around you, removing one of them to shut off the lamp on the bedside table.

She peppered light kisses over your face, before placing one final one at the top of your head. She rubbed at your back, relaxing you and pushing you closer to tranquility.

"Goodnight baby." She whispering.

"G'night." You whispered back.

You'd both fall asleep just minutes after.

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x y/n #abby x y/n #abby anderson x you #abby x you #abby x fem!reader #abby anderson x f!reader

[amyysfics]

skz - "bet."

pairing: felix x bff!gn!reader warnings: fluff, pining, reader eats popcorn summary: you make felix watch your favourite movie word count: 850

©amyysfics (2023) All Rights Reserved - Reposting/Modification of any kind is not tolerated.

Giggles, snorting and all kinds of laughter filled the room. You were barely able to catch your breath, when a voice broke through the sound of heavy breaths and occasional giggling. "What the fuck kind of movie are you watching, that is making you laugh this hard?", your best friend asked.

The both of you sat in a video-call on Discord. He had been playing a game, which you assumed must have been League of Legends, judging by his continuous screaming, "Noooo!" and "What are you doing? We had it!". You had turned on your favorite movie eventually. None of this was a rare occurrence. You hung out with Felix this way whenever possible - both of you doing your own thing while being in each others company.

"I'm watching what is possibly the funniest movie ever, thank you very much for asking.", you looked straight at the camera, poking out your tongue. How dare he judge this amazing piece of media? Out fo the corner of your eye you could see your blue-haired friend roll his eyes. Though, before he had the chance to tease you back, you thought of a deal. "Why don't you watch it with me? I can restart it. And if you end up liking it and enjoying your time, I will treat you to a smoothie!"

The idea made Felix' eyes light up. He loved having movie nights, especially with you. And he was was being honest with himself, he couldn't give less of a shit what you guys were doing, as long as he got to spend time with you - his best friend, that he just so happened to have a not so tiny crush on. She he did what every sane idiot in love with his best friend would do; He responded with as little words as he could as to not let you hear the shakiness of his voice, "Bet."

You left your seat for a minute to grab a fresh bottle of water and Felix used the time to finish (and lose) the round of League he was still in. It took you a few moments to come back, so he made sure to to set his screen up properly. He could click on one of the images to have them fill up almost the entire screen, the rest of it being smaller at the bottom. After making everything look the way he wanted to, he noticed you walking back - a bottle of water in one hand and a bowl of fresh popcorn in the other.

The Australian silently cursed himself for agreeing to this. It wasn't the first time you watched a movie together, but he would usually be the one streaming it - the movie taking up his entire monitor. Today, for the first time, he had the chance to observe your reactions. He noticed the way your eyebrows scrunched together mere moments before you laughed. He saw the way you attempted to hide your shy smile as the two main characters kissed. He could even tell that one strand of your hair seemed to be bothering you - constantly tickling your neck. Felix knew he wouldn't be able to stop himself from brushing it away if he actually sat next to you.

"Yongbok!", your less than quiet voice ripped him out of his thoughts. You glared at the boy, or at least it looked that way to him. "Were you even watching?", you clicked with your tongue, fishing through the last few pieces of popcorn for the best one. "I was! I loved it!, he lied. Your best friend put barely any of his attention towards the movie. You smiled a little, popping the chosen popcorn-piece in your mouth, "Right? The part where the cat rolls in the snow is so good!" Felix nodded immediately, "It's probably the best part."

"You couldn't stop feeling your heartbeat get faster, almost pounding out of your chest, knowing you caught him in a lie. "Lix, first of all, there wasn't a single cat in the movie and it's set in summer. And second-", you leaned closer to the camera, "I can see the reflection of your screen on your computer-case a little bit. You had my camera on full-screen-mode the entire time.

His body reacted faster than his brain allowed him to come up with a witty response. A blush crept up to the tip of his ears in an instant. And even his neck turned about three shades darker. He tried to think of a response - any explanation, but he couldn't get a single word to come out.

"You know what?", you broke through the silence, smiling, "I'll still treat you to that smoothie. I mean it looks like you had a good time, no? Pick you up tomorrow at five?", you winked. When did you get so smooth?

Felix' blushed even harder at this chance of a date with you, even that was even possible. But what he didn't know, was that you were just as excited about it, as he was. So he gathered all the courage he could.

"Bet."

@bokkiesplace @notastraykid @hee0soo @moon0fthenight @bbyquokka @strawberry31 @weird-bookworm

#amyysfics #stray kids #skz #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #x reader #skz imagine #stray kids imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #pining #best friends

[chaoticlicense]

Sloppy (Miguel x F!OC)

Summary: Amber gives Miguel some much-needed head (basically, I just wanted to write my OC going down on Miguel...don't judge me...I'm only human)

Word Count: 793

Tags: NSFW, Miguel O'Hara, Miguel O'Hara x F!OC, Female OC, AFAB OC, Smut, Blow Job, Blow Jobs, Oral Sex

Miguel is losing control. All of the composure that usually clings to him whenever he enters a room is slowly slipping away. And he hates it. He hates that he can lose control so easily because of her. He quickly learned that it doesn’t take much for him to come undone for her. It doesn’t take much for her to weaken his resolve and break down his walls. 

He fucking hates her for it.

No, he doesn’t.

How could he? How could he hate someone who has lost as much as he has, if not more? How could he hate someone who has given him the chance to feel alive again? And how could he hate someone who brings a near unearthly pleasure to him simply by wrapping her lips around his cock? 

The truth is that he can’t. No matter how much she drives him up the wall and has done since their first meeting, he can’t hate her. He can only love her. Her ferocity, her unwavering loyalty…and the way she swirls her tongue around the head of his cock before sliding her mouth down along his length. Miguel’s chest heaves as she takes in as much of him as possible before pulling back and sucking on him hard. She drags her teeth along the sensitive skin as she does so. Enough to sting but not enough to hurt. Enough to drive him wild with lust as he looks down between his legs at her. 

Amber kneels on the floor in front of him, hands on his thighs to steady herself, ochre-coloured eyes staring up at him and twinkling with mischief. When his gaze meets hers, he lets out a shaky breath. Her face is flush, cheeks red, drool dripping down her chin. The sight of her alone is enough to bring him to the edge. But the sight of her with the added pleasure of her warm, wet mouth sucking him off? It’s enough to push him over that edge and send him falling into oblivion. 

Reaching down, Miguel brings a hand to her face and swipes his thumb over the corner of her mouth. 

“You’re getting sloppy,” he manages to say through breathless pants.

Moaning in response, she lowers her eyes, focusing on working his cock until he’s nothing more than a mess of a man. Her hand wraps around his shaft while her mouth works his head. The sensation of her tongue licking and sucking the sensitive tip of him makes his legs shake. He’s so close that he can taste it. So close that he can’t help but squeeze his eyes shut and let his head fall back as he nears his orgasm. 

“That’s it, baby,” he pants. “That’s it, don’t stop.”

She doesn’t. She listens like the good girl she is and keeps sucking him off until his hand grasps the back of her head, fingers digging into her scalp. Miguel cries out as his hips buck upwards into her mouth, forcing his cock to the back of her throat. She coughs, choking a little around him. Even so, she keeps going. Even as he cums, pleasure spreading through him like wildfire, she keeps working him until there’s nothing left for him to give. 

With drool covering the lower half of her face, Amber pulls off of him and sits back on her heels. She looks over Miguel as he slumps back against the desk, hands gripping the edge of it. He is completely and utterly wrecked. She smiles at the sight, proud of herself for making him come completely undone. 

Wiping the back of her hand over her mouth, she grabs hold of his thighs and comes to her feet. With heavy breaths, Miguel opens his eyes to find her standing in front of him, hands on her hips and a smile on her face. 

“You were saying something about me being sloppy?” she asks.

As his suit reforms around his body, he flicks his wrist and casts a glowing web. She doesn’t bother stepping out of the way and instead lets it wrap around her waist a few times before Miguel gives it a tug to pull her into him.

“I said no such thing.” He chuckles, placing a kiss on her nose.

“Mhm.” She rolls her eyes. “Maybe next time I’ll get so sloppy I forget to let you cum.”

Miguel raises his brows. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, but I would.”

“You’re cruel.”

“And you are full of yourself, Mr O’Hara,” she counters with a smile. 

“Maybe, but you love me.”

This makes her laugh and Miguel grins at the sound. It’s a rare thing for her to laugh, but every time she does, it makes his heart flutter.

”You’re right, I guess I do.”

All written content belongs to ©chaoticlicense // you do not have permission to use any of my works // do not repost or modify/edit // all content is written for adults by an adult // any characters unless stated otherwise, belong to their rightful owners.

#chaos writes #chaotic writing #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara x oc #miguel x oc #spiderverse #spiderverse fanfiction #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse fanfiction #fanfiction #Miguel o’hara smut #Miguel smut

[galacticwildfire]

Fire Meet Gasoline | Poe Dameron

Seven

Poe Dameron x Solo Original Character

Hope Solo’s haunted by the night the temple burned. Having gone rogue she hunts the First Order in search of answers until a fateful encounter with Poe Dameron brings her back to the Resistance and Leia puts her daughter under his command to find Luke Skywalker.

Word count: 8.6k

Tags/warnings: the slowburn is slowburning, flashbacks, cursing, moral dilemmas, a girl and her droid, the space equivalent of stalking someone's socials, ideological arguments, mentions of war crimes/kidnapping children/torture/indoctrination, references to Freefall and Bloodline, family violence in flashback (ben), poe pov, ptsd

All my stories are written for adults with adult themes, I use tags but read at your discretion.

A/N: the flashbacks included are from the prequel I've published on ao3 and wattpad. It's a work in progress but mostly complete.

~

~

~

Hope

Maybe in hindsight I went too far.

Do I feel remorseful? Not particularly. Do I feel disappointed in myself? Yes.

Am I a hypocrite? Very much so.

I sit with my knees tucked up to my chest looking out at the lake country from the balcony of Varikyno on Naboo. Moreso looking at my N-1, parked beside the Shiraya, barely resisting the temptation to go back to what I've been doing and not look back. Wondering if Poe's already told Mom what I've done. He seems to idolise her, he wants to prove himself to her, so of course he has.

He'd be on the Echo of Hope by now wondering where the hell I am, meanwhile I'm sitting here in the only place that still feels half like home. My grandmother's force signature is strong here, in a place where there's no darkness, only light. No darkness except for me.

And I look down at the blood on my clothes, the red staining the white, unable to bring myself to strip them off quite just yet. 

"I know R2," I say as he lectures me despite the Clone Wars era war crimes he's complicit in. "But I tried okay. I would have actually helped if he hadn't killed himself. I tried to do the right thing, and that was after he'd tried to kill me."

But R2 isn't too phased by violence, no, that's never been his issue. His issue has always been running away, and the simple fact I'm sitting here instead of going back to base to sort things out for the mission. 

"If we go back," I begin and point my finger at him. "And that is a heavy if. You are not going to snitch on me to Mom. I know that her and Luke told you to look after me and report back, and I know you've been mad at me for deserting, but I don't need a guardian anymore R2. I need a partner. If you could stand by and watch Mom and Luke kiss each other I'm sure you can keep this mess to yourself. You're my best friend R2, and I know you worry about me, but you know more than anyone how hard I've tried to be good. You know I don't want to be so angry, not like Anakin, especially not like Ben."

He gives a sad beep as I rest my head on his dome, looking out at the setting sun. 

After all these years, whenever I've taken things too far, I keep coming back to that night on Theron with Ben back when I was sixteen, after those men tried to take me for ransom. I hadn't been afraid, not of three mere men when I'd spent my entire adolescence being trained to defend myself against such abductions, but Ben... I had to stop him from committing a slaughter in the back alleys of the city. 

That was night I learned how deeply the darkness had corrupted my brother, the night I knew without any doubts in my mind where that darkness came from. Perhaps I'd judged him too harshly, but when I felt that his darkness was the same as Vader's how could I not be afraid?

"We're going home," I swallowed, trying to de-escalate the situation after my warning hots had forced them to scatter before he could cut them down. "And when we do you aren't going to get mad at Dad."

"He's the one still dealing with these lowlifes!" he argued and I stood there with my eyes shut as he raged "They were going to take you!"

"But they didn't," I said, having been more than proficient in self-defence at that point, with or without a lightsaber. "I would have handled it."

"How?" he asked me, not even attempting to keep his voice down. "Punching the guy didn't exactly work!"

"I would have handled it how we handled things," I said, punctuating my words so he knew exactly what I meant. "We don't need to resort to murder to deal with a group of thugs, Luke taught us better than that."

I never expected him to snap at me. "Don't stand there and judge me like you and I are the same!"

I could only look at him in pure bewilderment. "What?"

"You have no idea what's out there!" he yelled and I cried out in pain as he grabbed my aching arm, already bruised from his earlier hold on me. "You don't know what I'd do to keep you safe!"

"I can keep myself safe!" I yelled back and pulled against his grasp only to find his grip iron, and then crushing. "Ben you're hurting me-"

He'd pushed me into the wall, the impact jarring as he stood over me and pinned me to the hard surface by my arms as he yelled in my face with a near psychotic anger I'd never seen before in my life, but it would be far from the last.

"Don't pretend you know better than me when I'm the one who's dedicated my life to the force!" he raged and I stayed pinned there, frozen in a state of shock. "You don't know what it's like being the one with this power, with the darkness." My non-responsiveness only angered him and he shook me violently, cold tears staining my face. "Don't judge me for the things I'd do to protect you from it!"

It was the darkness that caused me to snap out of that frozen state, having had to draw upon the force to break free. I'd struck him across the face before pushing him off me and he'd had the audacity to look stunned as I yelled "What the hell is wrong with you!"

He only snapped out of it when he saw the bruise already forming on my arm from his grip and stammered "Hope I-"

I stepped away from him with a raised hand. "Don't."

"I'm sorry," he rasped out. "I'm so sorry I-"

"Don't!" 

The next day I'd asked R2 if Anakin had ever hurt anyone he'd loved. R2 was reluctant to answer me then but after hearing Ben had scared me he relented and showed me the hologram of Anaki and Padmé on Mustafar, or at least a still holophoto of it. The recording he reserved for after Ben had lost his mind and I'd locked him in one of the cargo holds of the Falcon.

Sometimes I truly do wonder what happened to the girl who tried to dissuade her brother from the same violence I use so freely now, except I know exactly what happened to her. It was one attack after the other until she died in that fire.

Even more so, I wonder what happened to the girl that stood in the senate and promised her mother that she would make her proud. Growing up she never told me she wanted me to succeed her as senator for the Alderaan sector, or rather what remained, even if she had hoped I'd make that decision myself. 

But she named me Princess of Alderaan when I made it clear that I wanted to fight for something and she gave me the power to do so. Even if it feels as if I've thrown that away. Meanwhile here on Naboo I was nudged towards running for office. I wasn't born here, but I was granted citizenship when I came here to study and welcomed with open arms as the lost granddaughter of Padmé Amidala who had finally returned home. I was never Hope Solo, only a girl whose face people searched for the glimpse of the queen who had been all but deified by the Naboo. I could have just as easily become Queen of Naboo if it was what I wanted, but much like now, all I wanted to do was run. 

Poe was the one who all but told me to go, and he didn't need to tell me twice. It seems I'm not the only one with a short temper, or at least a short tolerance. But I understand why Poe reacted the way he did, because I used to be the one on the other side of it. He didn't hesitate to physically pull me off, but it's the look that was in his eye that haunts me, having looked at me so differently to how he did before then. 

But I knew it wouldn't last.

Does it hurt seeing him look at me like that? Yeah. Especially when he threw in my face the fact that my own mother had warned him against working with me, but again that isn't a surprise. Still, what I did to an officer who tried to kill me to further his own standing is the most mercy I've shown any of them.

When Hondo told me about the officer it seemed methodical to go and take care of it, Poe disagreed. He wanted to run recon and ask around, I wanted to go and hunt down the problem. I tried to give him orders, he tried to give me orders. So there was no way it could have ended in anything but a fight. Technically I did threaten mutiny as well when I told him I'd go and take the data myself, I'm certainly debating it. 

Still, his very first instinct after I was shot at was to try to pull me behind cover and that proves to me that my own instincts about him are right, regardless of what he might think about me now. That blaster shot could have just as easily hit him, and then that would be another life on my hands, but still he tried to cover me first before even thinking of himself. He might think of me just how the rest of command does now, he might be queasy when it comes to the reality of the fight we're facing, but instincts don't lie about who a person is. 

And I feel awful now for throwing the blame in his face for something that wasn't his fault. It's something I know better than I wish I did. Jedi Killer. Anakin Skywalker was known as the hero who died defending the temple despite leading the slaughter, Ben was the victim who perished despite turning on Luke. Meanwhile I'm the one shouldering that blame and the legacy of Vader that my brother seems to covet. 

And the intelligence onboard that damn yacht is more important than anything. 

I could go and storm it alone. I could take everyone on board prisoner and get the intelligence. I know Ben's on the Finalizer I just need to find the damn thing. But what if the ship doesn't contain that information? Then that means I've gone and stolen intelligence right out from beneath my own mother's hands and finally destroyed any chance of trust I have left without any payoff. 

Being groomed to be a politician means I know how to lie, it comes easily enough to me. I've never particularly liked it, or rather seen the point in it when spitting out the truth often get's results faster. I could still perform the mission with Poe and follow by Hondo's example to double cross him and take the intelligence for myself. I know well enough that batting my eyes gets me what I want most of the time, Poe hardly seems to be an exception to that, but I'm still my parents child and double crossing someone who I know is a good person doesn't sit right with me.

And Mom... as much as I hate it I don't think there'll ever be a day where I don't crave her approval. Once I had her complete trust and now I have none. 

I look out at the darkening horizon and back to R2. "Why does it feel so hard trying to do the right thing?" R2 reminds me my issue isn't doing the right thing, but rather taking orders I don't like. "You're right R2, I want to be in charge. I want to be able to strategise and have a seat at that table. I just- I just want them to trust me and my judgement because I am capable and it's unfair that-" I trail off then, knowing just who I sound like and so does R2. 

Sometimes to this day I wish I didn't know the things I do. I wish Dormé never told me who Anakin Skywalker was when he was my own age and the fact that this feeling... it doesn't come from nowhere. As Ben would tell me, they don't trust us because of our emotions and the power that gives us. 

I truly do wish I could only see Darth Vader when I think of my grandfather instead of recognising his eyes when I look in the mirror and knowing we aren't so indifferent. 

Although it seems all my brother sees when he thinks of our grandfather is Vader.

Which is why I have to be better than that.

~

Poe

If I thought my methods were crazy, Hope Solo is insane. 

And not the good kind.

Finally everything falls into place, every cautious warning Leia gave and the way people would whisper her name. She isn't just insane, she is violent. She is violent and self-righteous and maker forbid you try to give her a command. 

The one time I don't listen to Leia...

Iolo and Karé have helped with transporting the ships to the Echo of Hope, considering Hope didn't trust Hondo Ohnaka enough to divulge anything to him I didn't either. She could have given me a heads up she was bringing me to the most infamous pirate in the galaxy, but considering she's cozy with Boba Fett I should have known what to expect.

"You're pissed," Karé comments as mechanics start looking the ships over and I begin second guessing if I shouldn't just take Hope off the mission entirely, considering I don't even know where the hell she is, and get a third ship so Iolo and Karé can come with me.

"Are you sure you haven't had Hope Solo dock?" I ask one of the mechanics, beginning to fret considering she should definitely be here by now. 

"You mean your girlfriend?" Iolo teases, both of them having heard about the mysterious pilot I'd found before I learned that she is the most infuriating person I've ever met. 

"Definitely not," I say, having declined to give any details about what happened but I think they've both gotten the sense there's no getting along after this. 

"I'd heard she's difficult," Karé mentions. "A hell of a pilot who doesn't like taking orders. She's been the gossip on base the last few days, heard someone say she's Han Solo come again but walks and talks with all the authority of a young Leia Organa." 

"You aren't wrong there," I murmur under my breath, unable to speak to the first part but I can imagine the second's accurate.

I thought when I went and saw her to sort out the mission we'd made a headway, that my first impression of her was right after all. Hell all the way to Batuu I'd been more nervous around her than I've been around anyone since I was sixteen, but I should know better by now considering how quickly that went to hell. 

I'm glad L'ulo isn't here right now otherwise he'd tell me I have a type.

Which unfortunately might be true.

But then again, I've never met anyone quite like her.

"Heard someone say she's someone else come again," Iolo says and he doesn't need to elaborate. "Seems like she's got a temper on her."

"She's a teenage girl not Darth Vader," Karé dismisses, only for me to quickly shake my head.

"No, no, no," I quickly correct, laughing anxiously. "She's like twenty."

All things considered that shouldn't be the issue on my mind right now and Karé raises her eyebrows at me. "Why the panic? You still feeling all warm and fuzzy about the General's daughter?"

"I don't think there's anything warm and fuzzy about Hope Solo," I say, but quickly steer the subject away from my own feelings, although the Vader comment plays on my mind after what I saw. Still, it's an awful comparison to make. "Hope might have a lightsaber and a temper but she's definitely not like Darth Vader. I mean look at Leia and Luke Skywalker. They're his kids and they were the ones to defeat him, and I can tell you Hope's just as passionate about defeating the First Order."

And I find myself remembering what the officer called her, Jedi killer, the same thing they called Vader. Hell if she's been compared to him since she was sixteen then it's no wonder she has some issues, and I begin wondering just what was the incident that caused her to be stripped of her rank. If she could stick her blaster into a man's wound to get the answers she wants and look confused that I'd be shocked it's clear she's no stranger to interrogations. Hell I don't even know why she was asking about Kylo Ren, he's just one of the other mystery figures like Snoke but she seemed satisfied with the answer she got considering she didn't fight me when I pulled her off.

"I'll be back," I tell Karé. "I need to check something."

I find my way to my quarters onboard the Echo of Hope, they haven't gotten much use since I relocated to the main base but it still houses a datapad. I hadn't looked at her file due to respecting her privacy, but right now I need to know exactly what I'm working with to even consider allowing her on this mission.

Although as she would remind me, I apparently don't allow her to do anything since she believes she doesn't have to take orders from anyone, not even her own Mom. Snap wasn't exaggerating when he said she'd walk all over me if she didn't respect me and hell even Threepio was right in giving me the heads up. 

Her file's restricted but thankfully I'm high enough in command to be granted access, Leia had even recommended I take a look if I had any concerns and I sure have them now.

------------

SUBJECT: HOPE ORGANA SOLO

BIRTH: 11.22.11 ABY

STATUS: ROGUE

RANK: AGENT 28 - 30 ABY

              CAPTAIN 30 - 31 ABY (STRIPPED OF RANK)

TITLES: LADY OF HOUSE NABERRIE 25 ABY - PRESENT 

                  PRINCESS OF ALDERAAN 28 ABY - PRESENT

                  REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ALDERAAN SECTOR 28 - 31 ABY

ALIASES: ASHLA NABERRIE

                    LADY AMIDALA (REFERRED TO AS SUCH BY THE NABOO)

SPECIES: HUMAN FEMALE | CITIZENSHIP: NABOO/ALDERAAN

HEIGHT: 151CM | HAIR: BROWN | EYES: BLUE | SKIN: FAIR

IDENTIFYING FEATURES: BURNS TO RIGHT ARM AND LEFT LEG (SEE MEDICAL RECORDS)

EDUCATION: HOSNIAN PRIME JUNIOR LEGISLATIVE ACADEMY 16-23 ABY | LEGISLATIVE YOUTH PROGRAM 23-28ABY | UNIVERSITY OF THEED 23-28 ABY (EXPELLED-EXPULSION REVOKED 29 ABY)

TRAINING: LUKE SKYWALKER'S JEDI ACADEMY 23 - 28 ABY | NABOO ROYAL SPACE FIGHTER CORPS 23 - 28 ABY | ROYAL HANDMAIDEN TRAINING PROGRAM 23 - 28 ABY | RESISTANCE 28 - 31 ABY (DESERTED)

SKILLSET: LIGHTSABER PROFICIENCY | ADVANCED FORCE ABILITIES | PSYCHOMETRY | EXPERT MARKSMAN | EXPERT PILOT | HAND TO HAND COMBAT PROFICIENCY | ESPIONAGE | MECHANICS | ENGINEERING | POLITICS | GAMBLING 

RELATIVES: LEIA ORGANA (MOTHER) | HAN SOLO (FATHER) | BEN SOLO (BROTHER - DECEASED) | LUKE SKYWALKER (UNCLE - WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN) | ANAKIN SKYWALKER (MATERNAL GRANDFATHER - DECEASED) | PADMÉ NABERRIE AMIDALA (MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER - DECEASED) | NABERRIE FAMILY (MOTHERS BIOLOGICAL FAMILY) | ORGANA FAMILY (DECEASED)

KNOWN ASSOCIATES: R2-D2 11 ABY - PRESENT | LANDO CALRISSIAN 11 ABY - 31 ABY | CHEWBACCA 11 - 29 ABY | AYLEE SYLL 23 - 28  ABY  (DECEASED) | SIYA NABERRIE 23 - 29 ABY | THE AMIDALANS 23 - 29 ABY | DORMÉ 23 - 31 ABY | THE RESISTANCE 28 - 31 ABY | BOBA FETT 31 ABY - PRESENT | HONDO OHNAKA 31 ABY -  PRESENT 

DISCIPLINARY INFRACTIONS: FOURTEEN KNOWN COUNTS OF INSUBORDINATION. FIVE COUNTS OF DESERTION. TWO COUNTS OF PHYSICAL ASSAULT. THREE COUNTS OF VERBAL ALTERCATIONS.  FIVE COUNTS OF UNAUTHORISED ENGAGEMENT OF THE ENEMY. THREE COUNTS OF UNAUTHORISED FORCE WHEN ENGAGING THE ENEMY. ONE COUNT OF USING PROHIBITED FORCE DURING THE UNAUTHORISED INTERROGATION OF A PRISONER. REQUEST FOR COURT MARTIAL DISMISSED BY GENERAL ORGANA. (FIND ATTACHED)

KNOWN CRIMES: CLASSIFIED TO GENERAL ORGANA, ADMIRAL ACKBAR.

SUBJECT NOTES: FIND ATTACHED EDUCATION AND SERVICE RECORDS. ANY UPDATES OR SIGHTINGS OF SUBJECT OR R2-D2 TO BE DIRECTED TO C-3PO. 

LAST UPDATED 05.1.32 ABY

---------                 

Her service record's unfortunately impressive, but one look at her disciplinary infractions proves the simple fact that if she wasn't the General's daughter she would have been removed from the Resistance years ago, and likely arrested by the Republic. But it's the final line in that section that causes my stomach to drop. What I saw wasn't the first time, although something tells me the last was far more drastic.

I attempt to open the attached file but it's classified to high command only, which tells me that Leia pulled off a greater cover up than just telling people she went to university. She'd offered to do the same for me after my own stint in the Navy, to make my own rogue mission simply go away, it leaves me feeling almost eerie. Even more so when I see Luke Skywalker's status. Her file was last updated a month or so ago, nothing having been added since she's returned, but something about it leaves me unsettled just skimming over her family history. I would have expected Leia's parents to be listed instead of her birth one's but if she spent that much time on Naboo it's not surprising it would refer to that side instead. 

The rest of her file includes details of the missions she's undertaken dating back to 28 ABY. It's extensive to say the least. I've reviewed files of other pilots since taking command of Blue and Red squadron but none are as detailed, impressive, or alarming as hers. She's been an active combatant since she was seventeen, flying in a starfighter corps since she was twelve along with other vague training on Naboo. She'd spent her entire adolescence training for combat and politics while I'd spent mine aching to just get off Yavin-4 and getting into skirmishes with local authorities. 

It's not surprising she's lashing out now after taking on that much responsibility as a teenager. Leia had, and considering her biological and adoptive mother were both queens it's a hell of a legacy to have to live up to. As much as I wanted to join the Academy as soon as I was legally old enough to get off Yavin-4 and make a life for myself, I'm almost glad now that I was able to spend my younger years without any responsibility as achingly boring as it had been. Well, until I was sixteen or so and from there on boring is the last word I'd use to describe the later half of my teenage years. 

Meanwhile she had the media documenting hers, and remembering what Snap said about looking at the holonews if I had doubts about her I reluctantly cave and connect to the holonet. It feels strange, searching for someone on the news to learn about them, but after what I saw on Batuu and her fight with Leia before that I need some reassurance she isn't as bad as I want to believe she is, or rather as bad as she'd trying to make herself out to be.

The most recent holonet feature's dated to around a year and a half ago and after a moment of hesitation I open it.

"Hope Solo earlier this week stormed out of the senate after a petition for funding to General Organa's Resistance movement was rejected and personal attacks were levied against the princess due to her status as a force user, alongside the argument that funding a paramilitary led by the heir's of Darth Vader could only end in disaster," a reporter states and I shake my head at that last remark. "Counter proposals were made that the Resistance should be investigated due to concerns regarding the paramilitary. Several senators also supported the suggestion that the fire that destroyed Luke Skywalker's Jedi Temple also be forensically investigated. Twenty nine students were killed, including General Organa's own son Ben Solo, in what has been claimed to be a freak accident involving a lightning storm. Further questions were posed as to the whereabouts of Luke Skywalker which the young princess refrained to answer."

BB-8 beeps beside me in question, but unfortunately I don't have the answers to that either. Even worse, I don't think Leia does either. 

"This incident has brought attention back to the princess's infamous speech to the senate following the initial shock revelations regarding General Organa's paternity which led to General Organa formally naming her daughter as her successor and transferring her title as Princess of Alderaan."

The image switches from the reporter to Hope, several years younger and dressed fully in white. She stands by Leia's side, without the eyeliner and the rest she looks unpresuming, the type of girl who is quiet and generous, but I've become familiar enough now with the glint of pure unhinged anger in her eye to recognise it there.

A senator I don't recognise speaks to Leia about who can only be Luke Skywalker. "We have only ever had his word for what happened on the second death star and if his word is worth no more than yours has been these past several decades... well your highness, we hardly know what to believe, and as for your daughter... Vader did begin as a Jedi didn't he?"

The recording shows Hope muttering something under her breath, I'm no expert at lip reading but it's just loud enough I can make out that even then she had a mouth on her. Leia looks at her in alarm before trying to pretend nothing was said but the other lady definitely heard it. 

"What was that?" she questioned, her voice painfully high. "Hope, sweet child, why don't you come forward and speak if you have something to say."

"Hope, you do not have to say anything," Leia's heard telling her but Hope steps forward looking like she's out for blood.

"Carise-"

"Lady Carise." 

"Lady Carise, I was not aware Imperial sympathisers still hunted Jedi," Hope began and Leia's head snapped towards her. "Tell me do you wish to drag me before inquisitors? Because if so you'll be very much disappointed to learn they died with your Empire. And may I ask what right you have to speak considering it was also a misfortune of birth that gave you the title that allows you to stand here and hurl accusations at the woman who brought the Empire to its knees."

Now I understand what Snap meant as I see the equally shocked and proud look on Leia's face listening to Hope as she goes on for what seems like a couple minutes before reaching the part I still remember watching as it aired.

"You would do well to remember her political and military record surpasses that of any single person who has served in this senate," she chided not just the Senator she was addressing, but every damn person in that room. "Senator Sindian, can you or any person in this room say the same for your own records before you start publically hurling accusations of treason against her, or will you and your fellow politicians just make these claims in private where you cannot be held accountable despite many of you having personally and willingly served the Empire? In fact how many of your parents and grandparents were active participants in the Empire's tyranny? For if one senator is to be damned to hell for it then we should start an inquisition to ensure that every last person in this room with connections to Imperial leadership can also be put on trial alongside her."

The recording ends there and I switch off my datapad, not needing to hear anything else. For a good while I sit there stunned, and as frustrated as I still am with her I can't help but admire her spirit. Admiration perhaps being an understatement. I don't know what the hell Leia's thinking when she says Hope takes after Han Solo, because what I just saw there is all her. 

The same voice I'd listen to as a misguided teenager around the same age as Hope was in that recording, listening to Leia lecture the senate on the importance of vigilance, of upholding what my parents fought for.  I'd felt a sudden, deep, and impossible to rationalise connection to her. A need to reach her, help her. It felt laughable to try to explain it then, and somehow even more so now. Especially now that I'm not applying those feelings to a role model, but to Hope Solo. 

I wish I could say that impossible to rationalise need to connect with her was the same as I'd felt watching Leia's addresses all those years ago, that is just as innocent and admirable, but it's not. From the moment I met Hope in the field all I've felt is an irrational need to know her, before I even knew her name or anything about her, and then I did meet her.

That connection, that spirit, the way those sparks inside of her literally set me alight even if it was quickly dimmed when Leia arrived... even after what I've seen it still hasn't gone out completely. She is brilliantly intelligent, confident in her abilities and in herself, tactically minded. She's passionate, assertive, fiercely driven for better or for worse, and I dare say fearless when it comes to anything but Leia, although that's a sentiment I share. 

I've known a lot of pilots in my day, fighters, but I don't think I've ever met anyone quite like Hope Solo. Which is why I don't want to give up on that connection just yet. Taking her on for this mission I had never been more confident in a decision, even if reality has struck since then.

But that connection's still there, and slowly the pieces explaining her anger and frustration begin coming together. Someone tried to kill her and she hardly blinked an eye because people have been trying to kill her since she was sixteen. For years she's been fighting a war I never even knew had started until a few months ago, she's trying to stop it at any cost and on Batuu I saw just how far that responsibility has driven her. She told me she has a different mission, and if Snoke isn't so different to the Emperor she's the only Skywalker we have. 

And I want to help her if she'll let me.

And so I head back out into the hangar, trying to figure out just what approach to take with her because Snap wasn't wrong, she won't take orders and will walk all over me if I try to force her to do anything she disagrees with. She said herself she was only co-operating, but still, whatever issues she has with authority need to be sorted out, or at least I need to show her I'm not that type of commander, but I can't let her off either. 

I need to find the right balance with her, but just as I'm debating what that is I'm stopped in my tracks by the sight of her in the hangar. She's dressed now in clothes similar to the ones I'd first seen her in, looking more undone now than the last time I saw her, but also far more apologetic. For a moment I wonder if she's even going to acknowledge me, and I'm pretty sure she's debating the same thing, but decides to approach me. 

"Commander," she says roughly as I cross my arms over my chest, never having ever felt the need to establish any sort of dominance with anyone until her, but she needs to understand that it isn't her way or no way. 

"Princess," I reply and see a flash of annoyance but she takes it and gets to the point, clearing her throat.

"My actions were... slightly extreme."

"Slightly?"

"Comparatively yes," she says and I don't want to find out what she's comparing it to. "I'm used to working alone, you can probably see why now."

"So there's no witnesses?" I ask and notice her battling an inappropriate smile.

"Something like that."

But it's when she looks up I know damn well whatever act I was going to put on isn't going to work, not when it comes to her. Not when she looks at me with those eyes. 

She's unquestionably beautiful, soft features contrasting with a personality that is anything but that. Her features are similar to Leia's, although with blue eyes I can't truly place considering I've only ever met Leia. I don't miss how the dark liner around her eyes makes her expression harsher, or rather attempts to, and I can't help but come to the conclusion she tries her hardest to look anything but soft. The additional height in the platform of her boots that's definitely beyond regulation further supports that theory. 

I've worked with a lot of good looking people without problems, but there's something about her eyes that makes whatever judgements I'd made on Batuu quickly disappear from the forefront of my mind. The spark in them burning away what little common sense I've still got when it comes to her.

She clears her throat and I realise we've been studying each other's faces for a moment too long. Although from the colour in her's I know that whatever effect she's got on me, I've got at least some of that on her.

"So, have you told the General what happened?" she asks reluctantly, pressing her lips together expecting bad news.

"Not yet, I wanted to make sure you actually turned up here first," I say, having noted the five counts of desertion. "And the fact I'm trying to figure out how to tell her what happened."

Her mouth quirks to the side and it's then she actually seems to put effort into looking at me like she's trying to corrupt me, her eyes widening as she says "You know... she doesn't have to know."

"Solo," I begin and she quickly realises that tactic won't work. It almost does but she doesn't need to know that.

"Alright, alright," she says raising her hands in her defence. "But, if you have to tell her can we at least agree on a story."

She wants me to lie. She knows what she's doing is ethically wrong from the quiet, pleading look in her eye she has the dignity not to verbalise. 

"Solo." I lower my voice now, trying to maintain some semblance of control over the situation when it comes to her. "You know I have to tell her exactly what happened."

Although I can't deny I've been debating over the last few hours if the truth is such a good idea. It'll reflect badly on me the fact I stormed off after the fight and let her run off but I can live with that, however something thing tells me she can't live with the thought of Leia knowing the truth. 

She's quiet before sitting down on a crate, elbows on her knees as she lowers her head for a moment before raising it and asking "Have you figured out why I was stripped of my rank yet?"

"I was told second highest level of insubordination other than mutiny," I answer, having my theories along with what Snap's told me, but I think now I know the answer. "Leia decided to leave that up to my interpretation."

She nods to herself, and that cloud of grief that so often hangs over Leia... it seems it extends to her as well. But along with the grief, there's guilt. 

"I was sent on recon to a planet in the border regions due to First Order activities," she begins and I sit down on the crate beside hers to listen. "They were seizing the mining colonies for resources but it turns out they were seizing more than that. They tried to take every child below the age of twelve, the ones who were older were put to work in the mines because they're harder to indoctrinate." I want to lower my eyes but I can't help but look at her and the pain etched across her face as she recounts it. "When I was a kid Imperial remnants, or I suppose the beginnings of the First Order, tried to take me. My brother he-" she stops herself sharply, for just a moment the pain in her eyes becomes utterly raw and she swallows a shaky breath before composing herself. "He shot the man who grabbed me and I was able to make a run for it, the kid who was with us wasn't as lucky. She'd be another one of the thousands who've been taken and indoctrinated into being cannon fodder."

The image of her brother's name with deceased written beside it comes to mind now. Leia's never once spoken or even referred to him, but it seems that loss hit Hope brutally and I wonder for a moment just how close they were. As an only child I can't really know what it would be like, but I know how the pain of loss persists. 

I also know how a kid sees their parent as a hero, but it seems it might not have been her parents she idolised, but her brother. 

"How old were you?"

"Four," she answers and I shake my head. "So when I saw that... I couldn't just stand by and something in me snapped. I killed the stormtroopers and intercepted the transport with the kids on board. One of the kid's parents had caught up to them and was able to pilot the transport to a safe location, meanwhile I grabbed the officer who had been overseeing it." It's then she hesitates. "What I did wasn't pretty and broke the most crucial laws of engagement, and the Yavin Code, and the moment I turned my back for a second he's gotten that device and bit down on it just like the agent on Batuu before I could kill him myself. It's why I'd attacked the agent how I did, because they don't operate like we do Poe. They'd sooner kill themselves than face justice, they're ordered to kill themselves. How are we meant to deal with people like that without force when I know exactly what crimes they're guilty of?"

Morality, it's something I struggled with for a long time, especially when I first left Yavin-4 and was thrown into a different world where nothing is as simple as right and wrong. I have no doubts about what she did, but nothing is black and white. I had my darker moments too with the Spice Runners, although for different reasons than the rest of the crew. 

The moment I was confronted with human trafficking still lingers in my mind now, and when I got my hands on the guy overseeing it that wasn't pretty either. Zorii had to stop me from going further, telling me if I killed him someone worse would take his place. She'd almost laughed at the thought I was actually going to go through with it after having spent months trying to avoid violence and casualties at any cost, but what I saw pushed me to the edge. I'd been shocked by the chill in my voice, knowing that killing him would mean he wouldn't be able to do it again and I think I would have gone through with it if she didn't stop me. Not because she believed it was wrong, no, but because they still needed to work with him despite what he'd done. 

In a way I know that Hope's own attack that got her stripped of her rank had been driven by that same anger at seeing injustice and seeing a solution to it, no matter how dark, and being held back from it. I couldn't deal with not being able to do anything to stop it, having just about broken my hand after driving into a wall when Zorii laid into me about trying be a hero instead of a Spice Runner. That was the moment everything changed for me and I wonder if it's the same for her, desperation to stop something out of our control.

"You're right, and I shouldn't have reacted how I did considering what he'd done," I say quietly, knowing how easily she could have been killed right when we were about to have it out in the middle of the street, but still remind her as much as myself. "But we have to be better than them, otherwise what are we fighting for?"

"I know," she admits, and those are the words I least expected her to say. "And despite what everyone believes I do try, there's just questions I need the answers to."

Finally then it all comes together and I'm not too fond of it, because I understand now why Leia thought her and I would be able to understand each other. I'll admit, I wish I could dislike her. I wish I could see that she was just bratty and commanding with no regard for anyone else. Those things aren't completely untrue but there's more than that. She's a traumatised person acting out in anger and trying to make things right the only way she knows how. 

Something I understand more than I wish I did.

But there's one question still on my mind and gently I ask "Why did you ask him about Kylo Ren?"

At the sound of the name her body seizes up. The name is one that's familiar to me, but shrouded in as much mystery as Snoke. Clearly it's less mysterious to her.

"He's Snoke's apprentice," she answers after a moment of thought. "A force user like I am. He-" she cuts herself off and shakes her head. "I'm trying to find out what Snoke is, and getting to his apprentice is the best way to get to Snoke."

I barely know her, but every instinct I have screams that she is lying through her teeth and sure enough her hands are shaking. She knows Kylo Ren. Snap had told me what happened at the temple wasn't an accident, described the wounds that are listed in her file. That the freak lightning accident that destroyed the temple was a force user like Vader. Someone had tried to kill her, and I'd bet my ship that it was Kylo Ren.

A darker thought comes to mind and I wonder if she knew him before that night, the anger in her voice when she demanded to know where he was... that sort of anger isn't directed towards a faceless enemy. She knew him personally. 

I look over and find her eyes on the ground, her hands clasped together and deep in thought about nothing pleasant by the way her lip quivers and I wonder from how guarded she is, if he was someone close to her? A boyfriend maybe, although I can't say the thought of that doesn't stir some emotions of my own in me. 

Whoever he was, she cared about him, maybe even loved him, and he left her for dead, and she's driving herself insane trying to track him down. 

"Are you alright?" I ask her and she looks caught off guard by the question.

"Yeah, of course I am," she dismisses, taking a moment before asking "Are you?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I be?" I answer just as quickly and she meets my eye, something telling me she sees through me a little more than I'd like her to. Although it seems that's mutual.

"It wasn't your fault you know," she says suddenly, concern evident in her voice. "What he did to himself."

"Well that's a change of tune," I can't help but remark, having taken that attack the hardest, and her face falls. That singular action has me backtracking. "It- it wasn't yours either, I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened when he took the shot at you first." 

I was shocked and throwing blame about without a second thought while struggling to process it, not knowing what her actual intentions were or what I'd just seen. One moment there was a blaster shot and the next he was screaming and then dead on the ground. I barely even remember what came out of my mouth, but she threw it right back at me.

"And I shouldn't have blamed you either for trying to do the right thing, we both reacted badly to the situation," she acknowledges, surprisingly seeming to have little issue with admitting that she isn't perfect. "But what I'm trying to say is that I get it. The first time that happened to me- I didn't really process it until later either. When you're up in an x-wing all the time, you're detached in a way. You're firing at another ship, not a person looking right at you. Coming from the Navy you wouldn't be used to seeing that kind of thing."

"I've seen enough, I'm not exactly a stranger to the things that happen out there," I find myself saying, and she blinks as if remembering something. 

"Your dad worked with mine didn't he?" she asks out of the blue and I'm genuinely surprised she'd know anything about my parents considering who hers are. "Pathfinding?"

"Yeah, Han Solo led the strikeforce my Dad was part of," I say and she nods to herself, looking at me a little differently but I can't quite understand why. "Why the question?"

"I just remembered where I'd heard your last name from, that's all," she says, seeming a little ominous about it, but she seems to warm to me a little more. "You know how old guys like to reminisce about the war after a few drinks."

"Yeah," I nod, going along with it, trying to remember back to when I was a lot younger and would actually hear those stories from him rather than the silence that would come later in life to try to deter me from following after him. "So, if our dads could work together for a whole war do you think you and I can work together for eight whole minutes to pull off this mission?"

There's that glint in her eye, that spark, as she teases "Eight minutes is a long time."

I find myself leaning forward towards her, lowering my voice. "Could be longer?"

"Try not to give me orders and I might just not mind," she says, lip curling upwards as I catch the mischievous glint in her eye. 

"Partners then?" I compromise. Officially Leia's told me this is my mission to oversee, but I think I know by now there is no giving orders to the daughter of Leia Organa. She's said she's her father's daughter but somehow I can't help but feel she's underestimated her own contribution.

"Partners," she agrees and she raises an eyebrow as I extend my hand to her. "Handshake?"

"To seal the deal."

She holds my eye as she takes my hand, her grip firm not that I should expect anything else. All things considered she might be a little insane, but from what I've learned that's hardly her fault, and I can't say I mind when there's a hell of a lot to like. 

"Might even get to that first name basis," I tease and she laughs, it's a sound I like when she's not laughing while she's mad out of her mind. Although even then, I'd be lying if I said she didn't make me feel some sort of way when she's mad, but there's no way in hell I'm ever letting her know that.

Neither of us quite move to let go of each other's hand, electricity coursing through the touch. "Don't push your luck, Commander."

My flirting isn't intentional, but natural as I find myself leaning in closer. 

"I don't know, luck tends to be in my favour," I say and her eyes brighten as I run my thumb along the edge of her hand, every resolution I'd had before she stepped onboard this ship flying right out the cockpit along with any common sense. 

And right on time to remind me about the dangers of not thinking with my head Leia's ship lands in the hangar.

"It doesn't seem to be in mine," she coughs as she stands upright, neither of us having noticed how physically close we'd become until then, and I keep a more respectable distance as we both stand at attention but my eyes are on her rather than where they should be. 

Leia steps out of the ship and seems surprised to see us together. "Commander Dameron, Hope."

"General," we both greet and Hope looks to be doing everything she can to keep herself composed and I realise the last thing any of us need is for her and Leia to have it out over what happened on Batuu when we're about to try to pull off the most dangerous mission the Resistance has undertaken.

"How did it go acquiring the ships?" she asks us and raises an eyebrow at the panic she no doubt senses. "Do I want to know how they were acquired?"

Hope's eyes dart towards me and I just shake my head dismissively. "Not much of a story to tell, some bartering but nothing overly eventful."

She hums doubtfully and Hope's tense beside me but manages a nod and Leia looks between the two of us cautiously. "Do you have everything you'll need?"

I look at Hope now who answers "Yeah, I think we've we've got everything."

She can't quite look Leia in the eye, and I wonder how things became like this between them after the recording I'd seen of them in the senate. Until then I was confident in my assumption she didn't respect her, but I was proven dead wrong. She defended Leia more fiercely than anyone and yet here they are. When I was a teenager it was similar with my Dad and I. Worse even. I was grieving and angry and wanting to run free while he was holding on too tight. I wonder if it's the same with them. 

"Well then, I wish you the best of luck," she says to us, her voice heavy as Threepio comes to stand behind her. "Because you're going to need it."

"Hey, never tell me the odds remember?" Hope tries to jest and there's a pained look in Leia's eye as she manages a smile and cups her daughter's face until Threepio speaks up,

"Well actually the odds are-"

"Threepio," her and Leia both warn and Threepio turns away now as Leia brings Hope into her arms. She looks like she doesn't quite know what to do with it but eventually returns the embrace and R2 beeps beside me happily, almost in relief.

I think everyone standing witness shares that relief. 

Leia pulls away and speaks to both of us now, her voice as nervous as I've ever heard it as she orders us "Make it back in one piece."

Hope and I both nod and give our assurances, and with that she leaves us to prepare. In my peripheral I swear I see Hope wiping a tear from the corner of her eye before turning to me, her voice is quiet but genuine. "Thank you."

I can't promise I won't have to say anything when we return, but for now we both need our heads in the right place and so I put a hand on her shoulder as we look at the ships, fitted with the concussion missiles. "You ready?"

Her eyes meet mine and her lips curl into a dangerous smile. "Are you?"

My smile matches her's now, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little too excited for this mission considering the odds of not making it out alive.

But with her by my side... I can't help but feel like the odds are in our favour. 

#poe dameron #poe dameron x solo!oc #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron x oc #sequel trilogy #poe dameron x original character #solo original character #skywalker original character #solo!oc #poe dameron x solo original character #star wars fanfiction #star wars original character #sequel trilogy fanfiction #poe dameron x f!oc #poe dameron x female original character

[animeyanderelover]

Prompt 103 for pretty Kaneki please? 🥺

That boy is precious!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, mentions of kidnapping, isolation

Prompt 103: “Please smile again like this! It makes my heart flutter.”

"So why exactly did you bring me here?"

He was probably a little bit overreacting by nearly dropping the filled bag on the ground and hearing his heart skipping estimated three or four beats simply because of your question.

"D-do you not like it?!" he blurted out shocked, feeling already brought back into his, by now familiar, alarmed and panicked state. Had he messed up something already? Again? Didn't you like his little surprise?

"No, I do like this. I am just a bit surprised that you took me out at all. I didn't think you'd ever let me out of that apartment."

There was no trace of biterness or resentment in your voice, just a heavy exhaustion that had been staying permanently with you for a while now.

It used to be relieving for Kaneki once, your fading anger and hatred against him and words that had mauled his heart and soul whenever you had shot him down with them. Maybe, just maybe he had even imagined that now things could get a little bit better.

Now his heart clenched painfully in his chest whenever he looked at you because it always reminded him of what you had lost. Your joy and excitement for life. Your emotions had gradually toned down, maybe to cope with the whole situation and in the process you had stopped smiling or laughing, crying or yelling.

Isolation and loneliness had turned you into a far more quiet and reserved person who kept their emotions to themselves yet there was this constant look of silent unhappiness on your face.

Even now you still wore that uncertain and hidden sad look on your face as you followed Kaneki silently, eyes scanning the landscape intensily.

It was a planted area as you two were out of Tokyo, though you didn't know where exactly you two were. You hadn't paid much attention in the car, though now you wished you had.

There were only a few trees, the area was mainly grass and a few bushes. It didn't offer very much places to hide in to escape from someone's side and-

When Kaneki's hand suddenly tightened yours, squeezing it, your attention was brought back to him.

"Please don't try anything right now."

His voice wasn't the most stable and judging from the tightened grip of his pale hand around yours you just knew that he was having a hard time taking you out like this as well. You wondered how much effort and mental strength this was taking him.

"I won't. I'm merely fantasizing but I know better than to try to run away by now." was your flat reply. It wasn't very convincing and as you expected, Kaneki kept his grip on your hand. Whether he would have let your hand go if you had answered in a more believable tone was dubious at best in your mind.

You meant what you had said though, you had witnessed only once a true outburst from the boy and it had haunted you in your dreams for a couple of nights after.

How could you forget being tight to a chair whilst a white-haired boy with an eye as black as the night and with a red pupil was kneeling in front of you, clinging to your shirt and crying and bawling his eyes out all whilst pleading and begging physically to just be accepted?

How could you forget witnessing what he as a half-ghoul was capable off?

The two of you walked in silence after that, the only sounds accompanying you being the faraway sounds of the city and your footsteps.

Kaneki's hands were clammy and you took an experienced guess by assuming that he was most likely very nervous. When you decided to look up into the sky, you realized surprised that you were so far away from Tokyo with it's bright lights that you were actually able to see faintly the stars littering the sky.

It was...quite beautiful.

With your focus somewhere else, you just allowed yourself to get dragged away by Kaneki, mesmerized by the cosmos above you after you had only been able to see the dull walls of his apartment and the city and sky through the windows and TV.

By now you two were walking up a small hill and Kaneki was silently letting out a shaky breath. He had been a bit jittery about whether or not he would find the place Touka had told him about.

He stopped and managed to divert your attention once again away from what you had previously focused on, in this case the magnificent night sky with it's dimly shining stars. You were on top of the small hill, grass still covering the ground under your feet and a slightly chilly yet refreshing breeze gently drifting by.

The view that caught your eyes instantly though was Tokyo. Even from here you could see the tallest buildings proudly prodding the sky, a blur of colorful and bright light from your point of view.

You stared in silence, taking in the city where you had been kidnapped from a obsessive stalker and where ghouls were silently living among humans, praying on citizens and at the same time being hunted down by the CCG. From here Tokyo just looked peaceful and pretty. No one would probably suspect all the bloody things that were silently in the shadows taking place.

It was weird how touched you felt by all of it, the sky, the stars, the cool air of the night and Tokyo in the distance. Maybe because your senses had only been able to take in this apartment that had shrunk the longer you had been living in it. This felt so damn close to being free and caused your body to produce serotonin.

You closed your eyes for a moment, took a deep breath of the cold and fresh air and took a moment to absorb it all. The sound of the gentle breeze, the feeling of it caressing your skin, the brightness of the city you could even see through closed eyes, the comforted and peaceful effect it had on your nerves, the scent of coffee,...

The scent of coffee?

The scent came from the coffee in a thermos jug Kaneki had been carrying around in the bag and was now pouring in a cup he had pulled out as well.

You hadn't paid much attention to it before, now you did start to ask yourself a bit if he had been carrying something else with him.

His cheeks heated up a bit when he noticed your mildly curious gaze on him and his bag and he bashfully offered you the cup of steaming coffee.

"Coffee?"

To your own surprise you didn't hesitate as long as you might have if you would have still been stuck in this cage of an apartment, mainly because you were out of it now.

You took the cup, thanked him and took another deep breath to savor the aroma. The scent penetrating your nostrils brought back memories from sitting on your desk late at night for projects and from a nice and cozy cafe in your neighborhood.

Anteiku, the place where you had met Kaneki for the first time.

You knew by now the truth about the people working in there and the purpose of Anteiku, it was til this day still difficult to imagine what this plain and innocent cafe really was. You'd never had guessed that Touka, the waitress in there, would be a ghoul nor the friendly old shop owner.

Nor Kaneki.

It tasted good. It was still warm, leaving a nice sensation behind as you gulped the liquid down your throat with just the right amount of sugar and milk.

"I see you still remember how I like my coffee."

"How could I forget? You came over quite often and were always so nice to everyone, including me. I was determined to repay that kindness by serving you a good cup of coffee whenever you visited. I even asked Touka for advice and help."

"You were always doing your best, I noticed that. Someone as nervous and shy as you giving his best to serve me a good coffee and doing his best to cheer me up when I had a bad day was something I truly appreciated. Anteiku has always been a favorite place of mine to go alone just to relax and truly have time for myself. The staff was welcoming and warm and when you joined one day, it weirdly motivated me to drop by a bit more often. You were clumsy and it was obvious that you were new, somehow I found it quite endearing though."

Kaneki, who had started feeling fuzzy due to all the compliments, was turning his cup of coffee around in his hand, a pink blush decorating his face as he bashfully looked down.

You took another sip from the warm content of your cup, gazing at Tokyo and faintly wondering why you were talking so freely with your kidnapper all of a sudden. Right now you just felt at ease, so much that you were even willing to share some of your thoughts with Kaneki.

"I was really sad when you were one day just gone and Touka told me that you would most likely not come back, you know? I liked you, you always tried to cheer me up and were a genuinely sweet person. I liked that and when I found out that you wouldn't come back, I was upset and worried as well. Touka couldn't tell me back then what had happened to you and I didn't know where you lived or your number either. I felt frustrated and worried about you the following week, visited Anteiku in hopes of seeing you again. However, later you..."

You didn't really have to finish that sentence, both of you knew what had happened and Kaneki felt the prickling shame crawling up his spine.

"I totally ruined my good image you had from me back then, didn't I?" he mused half-heartedly, a sad resentment against himself lacing his voice.

You turned your head, which was resting on your knees, towards him with a observing and thoughtful gaze.

“No one from Anteiku was quite what I believed them to be. Anyone has their secrets after all and in your case, I do understand why you all had to hide like this. You weren’t what I believed you to be either, Kaneki. It’s true that there’s a lot of aspects on you that I didn’t know about. Some of them terrify me, others just make me angry and sometimes the side of you I didn’t know about makes me feel helpless because I don’t know how I can help you. I realize that you went through a lot and don’t know any other way to do things, though I don’t think that they’re the right things to do. So yes, your good image isn’t what it used to be in my head. But it isn’t like you’re a completely different person, you’re still in a way that shy boy from Anteiku. I’ve just seen you at your worst and best side by now.”

It was interesting to see the different stages of emotions went through whilst listening to you. From disappointment, shame, frustration, confusion, shock and finally to pure awe.

“Do you…truly mean that?”

His voice cracked a bit due to all of the emotions bursting inside of his heart and you were slightly concerned that he might cry a bit. That didn’t stop you from being honest though.

“Why wouldn’t I mean it? I still like you in a strange way because I see that the boy who served me my coffee in Anteiku back then is still there among all of that chaos. You aren’t a truly bad person, I’ve seen and heard from worse people than you.”

For the following few seconds Kaneki just sat there, the same awed and still disbelieving expression on his face.

Before he carefully got closer and took you in his arms, slowly as if wanting to see whether or not you’d let him do so. You didn’t reject him because you genuinely believed that the boy needed a hug and even if you were slightly awkward in his embrace, you didn’t push him away.

Only after he realized that you really accepted his hug did he throw caution out of the window and clung tightly to you.

“You don’t hate me? You really don’t hate me?” he choked out through incoming sobs.

“Hating is such a strong word to use. I’m certainly not happy with what you did but I don’t hate you. I never have.”

Something inside of him completely broke free when he heard you saying that you didn’t hate him and that was the final straw that caused the first teardrops to bubble up.

“You don’t have to cry because of this.” you said slightly panicked when you felt wet teardrops staining your shirt.

He instantly stopped, or at least tried to stop. He was wiping the tears away as good as he could when he pulled away, though water just kept on coming.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…to hear that from you after getting the silent treatment for a while now…It makes me happy.”

He was actually smiling right now, a smile that simultaneously made you happy and sad for some reason. It only hurt a little though, the happiness was stronger.

“That so? I’m glad to hear that.”

Without even doing it consciously, you returned the smile he gave you. You didn’t even know that you had actually smiled until Kaneki suddenly leaned close to you with a astonished and exciting face.

Your grin was twisted into a confused look from the sudden closeness and Kaneki’s look.

“Please smile again like this!”

You were mildly startled when he raised his voice due to excitement and giddiness, a owlish blink the only reply you were able to come spontaneously up with.

At least Kaneki came to realize that he was leaning very close to your face and had just spoken a bit too loudly. He instantly pulled back, embarrassed and flustered with reddened cheeks.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to get so close all of a sudden! It’s just…It makes my heart flutter. When you smile like this.”

“Does it?” you asked, half amused and half flustered yourself by his sudden comment.

#yandere tokyo ghoul #yandere kaneki #yandere ken kaneki

[totorokid]

My teacher who knows I've had top surgery called me she in front of the whole class the fuck??

#I can't focus now #whenever I feel like I'm being judged I get this heavy feeling in my chest?? #it's there now #the thing is i think I pass pretty well?? #like enough that people are unsure or know im a boy #so I'm just :))( #lms/reply if you can #rem speaks

[taechaos]

Silent Treatment

from Textbook Love drabble series

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble, smut, college au

synopsis: Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you.

warnings: slight angst, drugs, arguing, dubcon, cunnilingus, mild degredation

word count: 4.2k

tags: @mwitsmejk @1-in-abillion @kooookie

a/n: the request (contains some spoilers). i'm gonna take a very short break from this couple to write other requests!! hope u enjoy 💗

The shift in the Spring weather is unpredictable. One moment it’s chilly, and the other sunny. Humans can only adapt so much, and it causes an outbreak of common colds. Most people recover easily, handy medicine soothing their sore throats, syrups suppressing coughs, and nose sprays ridding the blockage. You, on the other hand, are not that lucky. With a weak immune system, you’re very careful to not get sick, but there must have been a slip-up because you’ve somehow lost your voice after catching a cold.

You sniffle and cough, but you can’t speak. It’s advised to not exert your vocal cords in cases like these, and that is just so unfortunate for you. The last thing you’d ever want to do is spread your sickness to Jungkook, and that meant not getting too close to him; it meant no kissing. 

A very large white placard is spread out in front of you on the wooden table, and you’re plastering printed images of a specific global issue on it. You’re sitting on a bench with two of your friends as they chatter mindlessly while you work. Jungkook has a project about climate change due in a few days, and it’s supposed to be very important for his final grade. You’ve already written him a script for his presentation along with a stick prop to point at specific pictures. It’s fun, glittery and he’s going to love it. 

“Hey,” Minnie, your friend, calls for you, “we’re going to get some coffee from Starbucks. Want us to get you green tea?”

Soyeon laughs when your eyes light up; it’s your favorite beverage, and it’s supposed to help with your sore throat. They leave with a smile after you give them a hyper nod and you’re alone as you adjust your woolen scarf around your neck. You need to heal as fast as you can so you’re no longer missing your beloved’s affection.

Jungkook has been feeling more inclined to approach you without reason lately, but that doesn’t mean it’s a common occurrence. Getting teased by his friend, specifically Taehyung, about having a sissy crush on a girl like yourself angered him to no end. A hit always got him to shut up, but not for long. He’s walking your way today because there’s no one around to judge him for talking to you. 

You’re tearing a double-sided tape when he sits on your table, carefully avoiding your materials. Your breath hitches as his eyes gloss over your work in progress. “Working hard, I see,” he comments with disinterest. He doesn’t say anything about your efforts, but he’s impressed. The corner of his lip tugs upwards before he leans in for a kiss. You have enough self-control and concern for his well-being over your desires to lean back before your lips make contact. His face is close to yours as he pauses and slightly frowns before trying again. He receives the same results and finally pulls back. 

“You did well,” he frowns at you and speaks as if you’re a child, “I’m praising you.” Your eyes are darting back and forth awkwardly and you don’t know what to do other than sit in silence. You put your hands on his knees as a resort and his frown deepens as he watches you. “I can take a hint, you know. You don’t have to fucking ignore me.” He roughly shoves your hands and stands up before storming off with a scoff. You’re torn between following him and being responsible over your belongings. You can’t let his grades go to waste because of a small misunderstanding, so you decide to text him instead. There’s always a possibility someone might steal his project. Or maybe after he’s cooled off? You delay the message, but somewhere in your heart, you’re satisfied by his reaction because it’s clear that he wanted to kiss you.

Heavy footsteps clomp against the sidewalk before Jungkook slumps on the seat next to Taehyung. It’s an isolated area for smoking students at the back of the campus, and his friend group is no exception to this role. They’re taking drags of cigarettes individually as Jungkook glares at his boots. They’re chunky and a bold black, and his dark outfit paints him as the big bad wolf. It fits, because he’s ready to attack when he’s filled with so much resentment. Why did you reject him? He’s consumed by his thoughts and theories of your behavior because you didn’t say a single word to him. If your actions were anything to go by, which apparently speak louder than words, you didn’t even want him to touch you. It doesn’t make sense, but you also grimaced at him, but then why were you doing his homework? He’s feeling frustrated, and upset all the same.

“Someone’s troubled,” Seokjin points out with a mouthful of smoke. “Kookie?”

Said boy only grunts in response.

“Did the lousy girl finally see you for who you really are and leave you?” Taehyung doesn’t hesitate to mock him with a pout. “Tragic.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tae,” Jungkook spits and sends him a death glare, fire flaming in his fierce eyes. “Go actually talk to a girl or something, and leave me alone. I can’t take your shit right now.”

The low blow doesn’t affect Taehyung in the slightest as he holds up his hands in defence with comically wide eyes. “Relax, tiger.”

“Moving on from Tae’s inability to talk to girls in broad daylight, what’s up with you Kook?” Namjoon butts in, earning a fake cough from the receiving end of the insult.

He pauses for a moment before babbling, “I hate those bitches. My mother for one, couldn’t stand wearing clothes whenever she saw a dude. Moving on from guy to guy, unless they’re a fucking asshole. What do they want? Why are they never fucking satisfied?!”

A moment of silence passes among the huddled friends before Yoongi breaks it with a joke, “Who’s the lucky girl?” It doesn’t land as Jungkook deeply sighs in response. “Did she cheat on you?” he tries again.

“No,” he murmurs.

“Then…?”

“She… I don’t fucking know, she gave me the silent treatment. She leaned away from me too,” he shakes his head with a quiet groan, “it just doesn’t add up. I got mad and left.”

“No way that could’ve ended up badly,” Taehyung chuckles but purses his lips when he’s sent another dirty look.  “How long was the interaction anyway?” 

“Like 30 seconds.”

“Are you coming out tonight?” Yoongi asks and puts out the burning tip of his stick. “Could help you feel better.”

“And we’ve got molly,” Namjoon adds.

“Yeah, fine, whatever.”

Alcohol’s effect on a person differs in moods, and Jungkook is usually a horny drunk. Being a sad drunk is a first for him tonight, but he’s just so confused. It made his heart drop when you outwardly refused his advances and anxiety blossomed in his chest, which he has no idea how to deal with. It kicked in fight or flight instincts, and he just… hated the idea of you not loving him, even if it’s momentary. He can’t bear staying in a situation that makes him feel so insecure, and that feeling is supposed to be left in his childhood. You just about brought out the worst in him without doing anything. 

You didn’t do anything.

It’s 10PM and he’s waiting on your usual good night text that he never responds to. It’s so pathetic, and he hates himself for being so used to your affection that it worries him when he’s deprived of it. He’s never doubted your love for him, but his insecurities are churning his gut. It’s an overflow of all of his pent-up emotions, and he can’t handle it.

“Here,” Taehyung pops in out of nowhere, clutching a pill in his hand. There’s a bottle of water in the other as he holds them out for Jungkook to take. “Stop moping and get laid.”

“I’d say the same to you, but you’d probably start crying during sex,” he mumbles and uncaps the bottle before throwing in the pill and washing it down with the water. “Thanks.”

“See that girl over there?” he ignores him and steps behind his miserable friend to point at the owner of the sultry gaze directed at Jungkook from the bar. “She wants to fuck you. Or maybe me, but I’m passing her onto you.”

“How kind of you,” he sarcastically replies.

“Uh-uh, so you’re gonna be in ecstasy in about 10 minutes. Don’t fuck this up.” He slaps his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. It’s a lonesome party because not a lot of people are allowed in when drugs are involved. Causing a ruckus, receiving a noise complaint and then getting arrested is out of the question. 

He isn’t interested in sex with a stranger - not today at least -, but he hopes for it to change as he waits to approach her. Maybe drugs will rile him up enough to have fun with someone else and rid his mind of you. It’s an annoying itch on his brain, so he rests his head against the couch to comfort himself with the soft fabric. He’s sleepy from the beer he drank earlier, and he doesn’t know how time goes by so fast when he closes his eyes.

A few minutes must have passed, because he’s starting to feel dizzy in his seat. A smile carves on his face as his mind grows slightly fogged, and he opens his eyes to find the girl quietly chatting with a friend. When she glances at him, he beckons her to come over. She mouths a “be right back” to her friend before strutting in his direction.

“Hey,” she smiles down at him before sitting on the couch. She’s aristocratic, chic and pretty. “Sorry if I weirded you out earlier.” Her voice is sweet like honey, and her words flow out of her tongue so naturally. A dream girl, really, and Jungkook is starting to get horny.

“I don’t mind,” he reassures with a subtle seductive tone, “what’s a girl like you doing with this crowd? You look too innocent.” He wraps a finger around a strand of her hair and twirls it. It feels strange.

“My friend sent me here, told me to watch over someone,” she lowly speaks. “I’m Soyeon.”

“Nice to meet you, Soyeon,” he breathes before crashing her lips with his. His hand reaches down to grip her thigh, tongue poking out to swipe the sticky gloss. It’s flavored, and it tastes of strawberry. When she kisses him back so slowly, innocently, it turns him on so much. His pants feel tight around his crotch as he runs another hand through her soft hair. Compared to him, she’s passionate whereas he’s sloppy. He’s starting to get dizzier, and it feels so fucking good, but he hates it.

There is not a single reason for him to not enjoy this, not when his mood is lifting so high. The hand on her thigh lands on her cleavage instead and she’s so submissive and shy, but something’s off. He groans into her mouth before biting her lip, ripping a whine out of her. Why does she sound so sexy and annoying?  

He pulls away from her before sighing in irritation. “Fuck, I can’t do this.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No, just, fuck.” He starts laughing before rubbing his palms on his eyes, “I really want to fuck, but I just can’t.”

“We can just chat,” she softly suggests. “What’s your name?”

“Jungkook.”

He removes his hands from his face when she goes silent. Her eyes are wide and she’s gaping at him… guiltily? “Crap,” she hisses quietly, “I was supposed to make sure you were okay. My roommate is like, super in love with you and asked me to come here.”

He says your name in a question, wondering if it’s you. When she nods, he asks for your dorm instantly.

“She’s in room 124… Why?”

When he stands up, there’s a sway in his posture but he recovers quickly. There’s an involuntary grin on his face as he thanks her ignorantly. He’s out of the villa in a rush, and he has the overwhelming urge to just run. The campus is a bit far away from the house, but he doesn’t care as his footfalls echo in the dark streets. He has so much energy to waste, and with his current stamina, he’s confident he’ll find you before dawn. It’s stupid but it’s fun, and he doesn’t care for catching his breath as the corner stores pass by him in a blur. 

Throughout the two hours of his reckless jog, where he mixed up directions multiple times, his mind is starting to clear up little by little. He’s happy because of what Soyeon told him, and he feels relieved upon seeing the familiar college building. He’s not allowed in dorms at this time, but he’s done this too many times to get caught. Except he was drunk in those instances, and being on MDMA was different. Sneaking past security was tough because he couldn’t bring himself to tiptoe without making so much noise. When they glanced at him, he thought it to be the only choice to just run past them. He’s in the elevator by the time they catch on, and the numbers look wonky in his eyes but he presses the button for the right floor. 

He’s shifting his weight repeatedly in an attempt to contain his excitement; he wants to see you so bad. The moment he hears the ding of the elevator, he’s running past the halls and stops upon seeing 124. He has to squint, but he knows this is your dorm. 

You wake up with a silent gasp when there’s a pound on the door. You clutch your sheets in fear until someone starts to sing your name. “Jungkook?” you mouth to yourself. You stand up and look through the peephole and there’s a man on the other side who’s bouncing on his feet impatiently.

“Open up,” he sings loudly. You’re worried when you swing the door open and yank him inside so he doesn’t wake up any other students. You try to talk but only a wheeze comes out, so you switch on the light to see him instead. The brightness hurts your eyes as you close them for a few seconds. “Well, well, well, look who we have here…”

He starts to circle around you slowly and stumbles behind you. “Sending people to spy on me after rejecting me like that.” His words are slightly slurred and you turn around to face him with a pout. You point at your throat to give him a hint, but his eyes don’t waver from your pleading ones. “What are your intentions, huh?” he weakly pushes you, “Sending me mixed signals. Who- who do you think you are?”

You hold his hands and place them on your neck, trying to communicate with him by mouthing, “I’m sick,” but he only chuckles. He seems sickeningly joyous, but he’s not over his anger. “Still not going to talk to me? What did I even do?”

You deeply inhale from your nose because he’s not paying attention to you. You’re frustrated with yourself until he yells, “WHY WON’T YOU TALK TO ME?” The surge of serotonin, his state of euphoria is crashing down on him the more you ignore him. He had believed the drug would only make him happy, but it intensified his sadness and anxiety just as much when he saw you. It helped him forget you in a social circle, but you confused him so much after he was reassured for so long - coupled with your silence, he’s raging.

“Why are you ignoring me?! What did I do that was so bad that you can’t bear talking to me anymore? You told me you loved me, please,” he chokes and tries to swallow the lump in his throat. “I-I’ll make it up to you, I’m so sad right now. Just say something…”

You’re watching him in shock and a hint of fear from his fluctuating mood. You want to cry at how pitiful he looks, but instead you aim to grab a piece of paper from your bedside table. He misreads your actions and pushes you against the wall. “Stop this. Stop!” He has your arms pinned and he’s trying so hard to intimidate you so you give in. A dry sob leaves you because he's going mad, but then he has a sudden epiphany. “Maybe you’ll love me again if I fuck you hard enough and engrave it in your brain that you’re mine. Yes, yes!”

He starts unbuckling his belt and you immediately try to stop him; he’ll get sick! He shoves you again and pulls down his jeans before mashing his mouth against yours. All of your efforts have gone to waste when his tongue forces its way down your throat. There’s no point to denying him now, so you hesitantly kiss him back. You’re so guilty, and he’s so careless as he roughly pushes his hand down your white cotton shorts. You’re wearing a navy blue sweater to match so you don’t get cold in the night, but the shorts are meant to prevent a fever. What’s the point now, then? He hasn’t even read your texts that you only remembered to send before sleeping. He missed a whole paragraph of your explanation and confronted you so angrily.

“I’m going to fuck you all night,” he growls against your lips, “then you’ll remember how much you love me.” Your moans are quiet and hitched as he presses down on your clit through your panties. His other hand is on his cock as he strokes it eagerly, ready to get inside you. “I missed you so fucking much in one day,” he whispers in a croak. Hearing it makes you feel even warmer inside as you nudge his hand to urge him to enter you. “You missed me too, huh?” he takes notice of your neediness. “Shouldn’t have fucking brought it upon yourself then.”

He removes his hand from your shorts and taps your thighs before demanding, “Jump.” You bite your lip in consideration until he taps them harder and you quickly wrap your legs around his waist. Your shorts are relatively short, resembling loose boxers, so when your back is pressed against the wall he only pushes them and your underwear to the side before thrusting into you. A scream gets caught in your throat, and you forget all about your aches as he roughly fucks into you without caring for protection or lube. It stings only slightly, but the pleasure in feeling so full of him outweighs the pain.

Jungkook is moaning and groaning as he bruises your thighs in his hold. Your panting is all he can catch, and though the feeling of you is an amplified sensation because of the drug coursing in his system, he wants to hear you chant his name as well. “Still quiet?” he tuts and carries you to your narrow bed and you cling onto his shoulder while trying to catch your breath after the sudden attack. “Your cunt is throbbing though,” he says as he pulls out of you and drops you on the bed. He manhandles you by flipping you on your stomach and holds up your ass. He finally takes off your bottom clothing, but he’s slightly dizzy as he yanks them off your ankles. He spreads your thighs apart and you’re on your knees with your head against the mattress. “I wonder why that is,” he says before slapping your pussy, making you whimper quietly. “So wet, yet you don’t even make a sound. Some whore you are.” You purse your lips and muster a whine, but it’s interrupted when he pistons his cock inside you without warning. Your sounds are hoarse as he pounds into you from the back, hands kneading your ass to the shape of his hands. He gives it a spank as he moans loudly; the new position makes it feel so much more intense, and Jungkook loves it. His ears finally get to hear your pathetic mewls as he thrusts so deeply inside you that your vision blurs with tears and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. You feel like a doll that can’t speak or move, and he’s evidently enjoying it going by his rushed pace. You’re challenging him with your silence, and he loves proving himself.

All of a sudden however, he stops moving. You look behind you with a pout and he quirks a brow at you. You grit your teeth because you know he's waiting for you to tell him to continue, or rather daring you to do something. A sudden surge of confidence overcomes you and you gently slam your hips against his, fucking yourself on his cock with your eyes screwed shut.

“Yes, baby,” he strains, “show me that you're still my good girl.” At his encouragement, you meet his thrusts faster and you're seeing stars at how amazing it feels. You want to be his good girl so bad, and you arch your back to savour the pleasure. “Your pussy is mine, all mine,” he affirms to himself and stills your hips to turn you around without removing his length. His fingers are digging into your flesh and your tits bounce under the fabric as he rams into you restlessly. Your mouth is open in a silent scream and he can barely make out your pupils, the whites of your eyes stirring his climax at how attractive you look under the poor lighting. “I love you so fucking much,” he cries, “say it back, baby.”

You try to, but you can only dryly cough. “You fucking bitch,” he hisses at your defiance and pulls out of you to pump his length. He’s close to his release, and he pushes up your sweater to see your hard nipples that make him salivate. He crawls to slide his cock between the valley of your breasts and it hurts when he harshly pushes them together. “Stick out your tongue,” he commands in a whisper, and you do so while panting like a dog. Every time he thrusts upwards, the tip of his head grazes your tongue and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. He’s massaging your tits as he stutters between whines, and eventually his load spurts out to land on your chest and cheek with a particularly loud groan. His cum surges down his shaft as he rides out his high with the last slow thrusts. 

“Oh fuck,” he sighs airily and collapses next to you in the tiny space available. You clumsily turn on your side to give him more room and he pecks your swollen lips. He zips his pants back up and you’re still naked from the waist down. You’re staring at each other adoringly in the romantic, fragile atmosphere; another first.

“I love you,” you croak finally. It’s quieter than a whisper, and it makes you cringe at how hideous you sound; it’s painful as well.

His face lights up once he registers your words before noticing the tone. “What happened to your voice?”

“Sick.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything more as you snuggle into his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“Shit,” he murmurs, “why didn’t you tell me that sooner, idiot?”

You slap a hand on his front pocket where his phone is, and he hastily takes it out to see a bunch of notifications from you. “You sent it at night, you’re still the idiot.” You giggle and roll your eyes. “A promise is a promise, though,” he purrs before cupping your bare heat. “I did say I would fuck you all night.” You widen your eyes when his head lowers down to face your sopping wet cunt, and he slowly licks up a stripe over your soaked folds, making you shudder and grip his hair. He’s leaving kitty licks all over your sensitivity, the tip of his tongue lightly brushing against your clit every now and then. Your hips lift involuntarily, and he finally takes your clit in his mouth and sucks on it loudly. He slurps your arousal before spitting it back on your hood, and you can only squeak in response. Your hazed mind only tells you that you want more, and he doesn’t fail to provide.

Two fingers enter your clenching hole, and he’s scissoring your walls as he messily eats you out. The pleasure from earlier returns all too soon and you know you won’t be able to last long. His lids are hooded when you glance down at him and the way he’s looking at you makes it even harder to resist your orgasm. The knot in your stomach picks back up right before unraveling and your moan is raspy as you start twitching under his relentless mouth. He grows gentle and leaves kisses all over your vulva until your body falls limp on the sheets.

After another round of penetrative sex, the two of you fall asleep from exhaustion in your bed. It’s a first for the both of you, and Jungkook decides in his drunken mind that tonight won’t be the last. It feels so intimate when he cuddles you, and you won’t ever forget his love confession.

The next morning is not so pleasant however, as Jungkook wakes up with a loud sneeze and in his now nasal voice says, “God fucking damn it.”

#bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts smut #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook imagines #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #bts fic #jungkook fic

[fandomvariousness]

you wouldn't want me to pt. 2

pt. 1 -> x

pairing: eren jaeger x reader

warnings: blood, mentions of death, cheating, smut: dub-con, mild masochism, dacryphilia, choking, creampie, size kink, overstimulation

request: "pleaseee a part two to "you wouldn't want me to" with the smut"

word count: 2.9k

a/n: ayo i'm team armin but boyeee sometimes it feels nice to digress ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“We’ll stop here for the night.” you heard Eren command someone, and the carriage stopped.

They covered your eyes and tied your hands behind your backs, so even while you sat huddled next to Armin you couldn’t wrap your hands around him, and neither could he.

You heard steps come into the carriage, followed by a set of rough hands that led you off. Judging by the grass under your feet, you figured the whole caravan stopped at one of the cottages for the night. Once the grass turned into the parquet of the cottage, an alarm rang in your head, realizing that whoever’s leading you isn’t stopping.

“Wait,” you breathed out quietly, all your anger being replaced by panic. “Armin?”

“Y/N!” you heard his voice somewhere behind you.

Judging by the commotion and the wave of swears and slurs, everyone was being stuffed into solitary rooms.

“Stop, stop!” you yelled, your anger coming back, feet stubbornly pushing against the ground. “Armin!” you yelled again, roughly jerking your frame in hopes of getting away.

“No Armin,” your captor whispered in your ear. “just me.”

Your face sank at the realization that it’s him. Even though your heart fluttered, just for a second, making you hate yourself for it, the odium seeped into your blood the very instant you heard his voice.

"You, little –" you didn't get to finish your slur as he pushed you into the room, shutting the door locked behind him.

You stumbled on your feet, the moment of misbalance bringing you down to the hard ground with a dull thud.

You were so angry that you still tried to squirm out of your bindings, just so that you could have a chance to strangle him with your own hands. You felt him approaching as you huffed and panted angrily in your efforts, feeling the eye band and rope binding your wrists come off.

You squinted from the sudden painful contact with the lamplight, rubbing your sore wrists.

“I could really kill you right now,” you spoke with a trembling voice. “I fucking hate you, Eren.”

The anger was manifesting in a form of hot tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks any moment; you hated the way you’d cry once infuriated.

You hated it, but Eren fucking loved it. He took a discreet deep breath to quench the feeling that arose upon seeing your glassy eyes, the sight going straight to his dick. He loved seeing you so conflicted with your feelings, especially when he's the culprit.

"Always wanted to hear you say that," he said with a smug smile that you wanted to wipe off with a slap so bad.

And so that’s what you did. You huffed in anger and closing the space between the two of you with a couple of steps, sent a dry slap across his cheek.

His eyes shut closed as his head turned to the side, a shiver running through his body, orange pre-shifting sparks flying around his head like a halo.

“Do that again and see what happens.” Eren liked what you did to him, but he wanted to frighten you into thinking he would shift.

You gulped, trying to hide your rising panic, as you let your burning palm hang limply beside you.

“What,” you breathed out, carefully calculating your next words. “you’re going to shift and kill everyone inside, even your beloved minions?”

He barely reacted, except for his eyes running over your body, making you realize just how close you two are standing to each other.

“Not before I have something I want.”

You exhaled curtly as you looked down, trying to escape the hazy feeling that was gradually clouding over your mind.

“Eren, unlock the –” he interrupted you by gripping your chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look into his bottle-green eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never wondered what it would feel like.”

You felt your face heating as you failed to control your emotions. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He smiled smugly again just before he claimed your lips with his, sucking your soul out. His hand rested dangerously low on your hip, teasing you with the possibility of gripping it tighter at any moment.

“Stop,” you muttered in between the kisses. “Eren, stop!” you shoved him away, all flustered, turning around and steeping towards the window to gaze at the night sky that was just starting to appear.

You panted heavily as the realization of what just happened was sinking into you.

“How can you do this to Armin?” you asked, trying to refrain your trembling voice from breaking completely. “To me?”

He chuckled quietly, revealing his stance just behind you. “I’m going to die soon anyway.”

You hated when they did that. You hated when either Eren or Armin spoke about the fact that they only have a few years left to live. In fact, you hated it so much you forbade them to even speak about it. Even if Eren is not exactly in your good graces right now, you still hated it.

You unclenched your burning fists in an attempt to compose yourself.

“You may disappear, but your actions won't," you said as you turned around to face him.

"I don't care about that," he said nonchalantly. "Hell, Armin's going to go shortly after I do, so you shouldn't even think about the consequences – we will both be dead."

You bit your lip so hard upon hearing the mention of Armin’s impending death you may have drawn blood. You snapped again as you sent your palm flying across his face, but this time he immediately turned his face back and crushed his lips on your bloody ones.

You whined at the tingling of the tiny wound where you bit your lip, droplets of blood staining Eren’s own lips. His palms squeezed your buttocks, bringing your centers together; you gasped as you felt his semi-hard tent against you.

You withdrew from him like a whimpering mess, pushing your dainty palms at his chest to refrain him from connecting your lips again. You turned around in panic and saw your blurry reflection in the window, both of your lips stained with the crimson of your blood.

You yelped briefly as you felt his hands on your hips again, his heavy breathing tickling your skin when he leaned his face towards the crook of your swan-like neck.

“Just this once,” he breathed out, giving a brief slip to his own desperation. “and then I’ll go. I’ll leave you all alone.”

You trembled as you struggled to make a decision: your body already made one, relishing at the feeling of his front against your back, of his stealthy, barely traceable grinding against your frame, but your mind tried so hard to resist.

His hands were roaming all over your body, quite literally driving you insane: the way his palm ran up and down your thigh, the other appreciating the curve of your waist before sneaking its way under your white uniform shirt – it made you moan quietly, realizing that your mind had already lost.

“Did you really never wonder how it would feel like with me?” he whispered smokily.

Of course, you did. You never missed the way his thumb would stroke over your skin whenever he would get the chance to place his hand on your shoulder, you never missed the feeling you got when his eyes would linger on you for a bit too long – all of it burned into your mind.

You were somewhere else entirely as your eyes fluttered closed, head leaning back against his frame; his hand came to cup your breast, gently massaging it, melting your whole stance into a puddle.

As you failed to answer, having lost yourself in a sensual mass of his touches, you felt his hand grip the base of your neck. “Did you?”

Your eyes shot open as the force of his grip grew stronger, making you grasp his hand for some sort of leverage.

“Huh?” he repeated.

"I did." You confessed.

You didn’t see it, but you knew Eren grinned widely against your neck just before he pecked it. “Of course you did.”

His hand retreated from your neck as he gripped your hips, pressing you against the window-sill. “Did you sometimes think about me when you were doing it with Armin?”

You felt tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you realized this was too much to admit.

“Eren,” you shook your head in protest.

Eren loved seeing you squirm, he loved torturing you like that, and he wasn’t going to stop. He snuck his hand to cup your burning center, making you cry out and shiver at the needed contact.

“I bet you almost cried out my name accidentally a couple of times, didn’t you? Just like you did now?”

You sobbed quietly, but Eren brushed his tongue against your ear, turning it into a broken moan mid-way. “Say it again, say my name.”

You didn’t realize how your hips rolled against Eren’s hand massaging your warm, slick center; he controlled you as a puppeteer controls his puppet, and you knew it all too well.

“Eren,” you moaned genuinely.

“Shit,” Eren spat out as your mewling went directly to his painfully hard dick.

You choked at the sensation of his fingers sneaking under your panties, coming through your slick folds and finding the little pearlet of pleasure.

“Yes, yes,” you whimpered as he returned the other hand to your breast.

Eren was losing control rapidly, but he wanted to toy with you just a bit more – he probably wouldn’t get another chance.

“Want me to fill you up?” he knew that it was immensely hard for you to admit that you actually want him, and so he purposely pushed you down this guilt trip.

Your eyebrows knitted together out of inner turmoil, but you nodded. “Yes, I do, Eren, please –”

You were an absolute whimpering mess, struggling to weave a proper sentence together, voice broken and trembling – you just wanted him to fill you and ease the sexual tension that would always follow you two.

He chuckled against your cheek as he worked his way with your pants, pushing them down below your ass, cool air hitting your skin and sending a wave of shivers. “To think you were so reluctant before.”

Oh, you still were, in a sense. You knew guilt is going to consume you after, but you cannot control yourself anymore. It’s just the effect that Eren has on people, on you.

You leaned your palms against the edge of the window-sill, anticipating the breach, shallow breaths leaving patches of mist on the glass that would disappear in a moment.

“Ah,” you yelped cutely and rested your heated forehead against the cool glass as you felt Eren’s tip against your slick entrance.

His hand weaved itself around your neck in protest and leaned you back closer to him, bending your spine into a beautiful arch. He ran his other hand up and down your stretched stomach as he eased himself into you, coaxing out a series of broken moans from your mouth.

“Fuck,” you yelped in a high-pitched voice, holding on to that window-sill for dear life.

“So tight, so tight,” Eren whispered to himself, lost in his own bliss as his head hung low on your shoulder.

You yelped in pain as he was approaching your cervix. “W-Wait, ah, it’s too—too—”

“It’s what, baby?” his fingers dug into your hips, bringing you down on his dick a bit further. “What?”

"Too—ah, fuck—too big!" you cried.

You were ashamed of yourself that you enjoyed his dick tearing you apart that much, but you couldn't lie to yourself in this state, not anymore; it's like you're a whole other person.

Eren’s dick twitched inside you at your word. “Bigger than Armin’s, yeah?”

You nodded curtly, doing anything to ease away the dull ache and the guilt that was tickling somewhere at the back of your head. “Yeah,”

He ran his tongue along the vertical curve of your neck, starting to move steadily.

You kept your mouth open as you were even struggling to breathe, Eren's presence consuming the whole of you. You bent your hand backward and ran your fingers through the back of his head, loosening the bun he’s weaved his hair into.

“Faster,” you commanded, catching Eren by surprise. “Please, Eren,”

The sound of you begging for him drove him feral. He wanted to fuck your brains out, but he knew he won’t have another chance to relish in you like that – slowly, sensually, lovingly.

“Patience, baby,” he said to you and to himself at the same time. “Mm, you feel so good.”

The room was rapidly filled with both of your moans as Eren pounded into you rhythmically. His hand snuck to rest on your lower stomach, feeling his own tip stretching your insides.

“Wanted to have you for so long," Eren let his thoughts slip up; he enjoyed destroying you like this, but he failed to consider his own weaknesses coming to the surface. "Could never get you out of my head."

His own confessions were like a catalyst to your approaching release, which was threateningly close now.

“Ah, Eren, I’m gonna cum, I’m cumming,”

You screamed so loud he had to cover your mouth with his palm – he wouldn’t want others to condemn you for doing this for the reasons they don’t even understand. Eren himself was close, so close – but there was one more thing he wanted to do.

“Feel good? Yeah?” Eren questioned, containing his own release with all his will, still pounding into you. “Give me another, baby.” His hand reached down to your oversensitive clit.

“Wait, Eren, I just came, I—” you choked, tears welling up in your eyes from overstimulation; yet it felt so good.

“Shh, you can take it,” he cajoled.

It didn’t take long for him to give you another orgasm, not at all – all it took was a few circular strokes with the right amount of pressure, and you came clenching around his dick again, this time covering your mouth with your own palms. Eren buried his head in your disheveled hair as he groaned out in pleasure, bursting deep inside you.

“Fuck,” he blabbered, eyes closed, feeling your shivering, fragile frame falling apart in front of him. He tried not to think too much about the fact that he came inside you, the act contradicting his beliefs and plans.

His hands came snaking around your waist, pulling you closer gently, planting a few kisses on the top of your head. "You did so well."

You couldn’t say a word as you pulled your pants up before you turned around to face him, seeing him buttoning his own.

Something came onto you as you cupped his face and kissed him gently. Now that really did take Eren by surprise.

“What was that for?” he asked quietly after a moment of silence.

You shrugged. “Just felt like kissing you.”

He suppressed a smile as he leaned his palms against the window-sill, trapping you in between his hands, your noses almost brushing. “You won’t be too pissed with me now, will you?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You said it yourself, you’ll die soon, so why do you care?”

"Clever", thought Eren as he continued exploring the pools of your glistening eyes. He withdrew slowly, towering over you as he took your chin between his thumb and index finger, just like he did before. He ran his thumb over a little patch of dried blood from when you bit your lip.

You almost gasped at the absence of his touch when he released you altogether, making his way to the door, unlocking it; you remained in your place, watching him closely, trying to stop him with nothing but your gaze.

He did stop, even though only momentarily. He had already opened the door as he turned his head back to take you in – face still heated, chest rising up and down, hair tousled, gaze… longing?

Something tingled deep inside his chest at the thought that he could’ve had you as his own if the circumstances were different, much different. If only he wasn’t so heavily burdened and consumed by eternal hatred.

He snapped out of his momentary ominous trance.

“Sleep well, Y/N.” he closed the door without another word, locking you from the outside.

Once he was gone, you allowed yourself to exhale properly. You gulped, making your way to the bathroom. You turned on the tap and plugged the bath, letting yourself sob loudly as you remove your clothes.

You didn't want to wash his touches from your skin, but at the same time, you had to – how are you going to face Armin afterward?

Yet the guilt mainly came from the absence of it – no matter how sure and scared you were that it's going to consume you afterward, it didn't.

You don’t want to lose neither Armin nor Eren, and you’re going to do everything in your power to hold on to them both for as long as you can, for as long as they walk the same soil as you.

#attack on titan eren jaeger imagine #attack on titan eren jaeger smut imagine #attack on titan eren jaeger #eren jaeger #attack on titan eren jaeger x reader smut #attack on titan eren jaeger x reader #attack on titan x reader smut #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan #aot x reader smut #aot x reader #aot #attack on titan eren yeager #eren yeager #eren yeager x reader smut #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren yeager x reader #snk x reader smut #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin eren jaeger imagine #eren jaeger drabble #eren jaeger oneshot #eren yeager oneshot #eren yeager blurb #smut #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader smut #shingeki no kyojin smut #attack on titan smut

[shotowoki]

PAIRING: shouto todoroki x gn!reader WARNINGS: fluff, swearing, kissing, mutual-pinning, implied nsfw, pretty much just fluffy goodness :) WORDCOUNT: 4k

SYNOPSIS: Being roommates out of sheer convenience shouldn't have been a problem. It shouldn't have been as difficult as Shouto had made it out to be. I mean, you two barely spoke, barely found time to be together in one room and barely even came in contact with one another despite living under the same roof. It really should have been a piece of cake. But the feelings Shouto had for you grew larger with every day that passed, complicating things far more than was necessary...

In an empty room, Shouto lay sprawled on his bed. The thought of you conquering his mind as he envisioned you in your entirety.

The lazy slither of moonlight that pierced his curtains left a gentle glow across his face, the sorrow in his eyes highlighted as he pondered over the same thing he did every night. Who were you?

It seemed like a stupid question on the outside, as to those who didn't know you two well, you seemed like good friends. After all, you did live together; it would be harder to know nothing about the other. But, in Shouto's case, he knew near nothing about you. So, every night he lays in his sheets, frustrated with his lack of knowledge, listing all the things he did know. As he balled the covers under him, intertwining his fingers with the cotton, he asked himself one thing: 'who were you?', once more.

There were a few vague things he knew. He knew you worked as an office assistant, finished your work off late at night in the kitchen, took around 45 minutes in the shower, you rarely ate food at home, and brought take out every other evening. Not to mention, you barely left your room and thus leading to this lack of relationship between you two.

But what did this random trivia on you do for him? Nothing. It provided him with zero useful information, nothing to work with, and it most certainly did not quench his curiosity for you.

A heavy exhale parted his lips, and he sunk deeper into his mattress. Maybe this was enough for today. The constant worrying about you wasn't doing him any good, and he knew it. At this point, his curiosity was turning into something more. Before Shouto knew it, his once frustrated wonders had turned to admiration. And this was his current situation, face feeling hot as reality hit him like a train. When did he start to like you, and more specifically, why?

That empty feeling filled him once more; the lack of answers to all these questions had him feeling beyond exhausted. He barely knew you, and yet even moments like these felt like enough. A small rush of nervousness always stopping him in his tracks whenever the sheer thought of you crossed his mind. It felt ridiculous and brought Shouto way too much humiliation. And so, he shook these feelings off. The mystery that was you was far beyond his reach, and it was time he submitted to that fact.

Fluttering his eyelids shut, he put his mind at rest, drifting off into dreamland.

The next day had arrived, Shouto's previously exhausting night already long passing him. A wet towel swung over his head; he exited the bathroom somewhat wet, and ready for a new day.

A cold shower did the job alright, waking him up and helping him forget about the endless thoughts of you that had him up late last evening. All that remained was to fill his stomach up, and he would forget the whole ordeal. Still slightly embarrassed at the realization that he had caught feeling for the stranger that lived in the room opposite his own.

Scrubbing his hair and patting his face dry with the towel on his head, he entered the kitchen. He expected it to be empty like every other regular morning. But instead, Shouto was greeted with arguably the worst and best thing. There you sat at the kitchen island, eyeing a cup of coffee, evidently zoned out.

Shouto stopped in his tracks, and his heart dropped to his stomach. If it was even achievable, the beating of his heart was more rapid than humanly possible and probably more audible than ever. Why were you home? Not that he was complaining, it was just rare to have you home this early in the morning. Did you not have work today? Did something happen? Why are you just sitting there staring at a cup? All these questions sprung up in Shouto's head as he stood dumfounded and nervous.

His cheeks lightly sprinkled in a pink blush; he just stood there awkwardly, not daring to even move an inch. To anyone but himself, he would look pretty composed, but internally he was malfunctioning. He had hoped for a moment like this to arise for a while now. But now that the opportunity had presented itself, he barely knew what to do. It didn't help the fact he was already a flustered mess over the thought of you last night, and now there you sat in front of him.

Taking one deep breath, Shouto resumed his walk to the fridge, waving off the nerves that had built up inside him.

"Good morning, y/n. It's rare to see you home at this time." Shouto attempted to break the silence in his signature monotone voice.

It remained pretty tranquil for a bit. The only noise being that of Shouto making himself breakfast and the sound of you taking a shy sip of your drink.

"Morning. I don't have work today, so I'm home."

Your voice simmered out into the atmosphere, but it remained looping in Shouto's mind. As his back faced you, he felt his ears get hot, and he knew for a fact, he was beet red now. How did just hearing your voice already throwing him off guard?

Shouto gently exhaled, feeling his adrenaline spike through him. He just needed to stay calm. But how could he when he wasn't accustomed to hearing your voice, especially when you spoke so softly? Having a crush on your roommate was most certainly an inconvenience, as Shouto struggled to keep his concentration on making a simple cup of coffee for himself.

"Oh. Did you finally get a day off?" Luckily Shouto's voice came out calm. He'd be damned if he stumbled and made himself look more like a fool than he already had.

Well, he looked like a fool to himself, at least. You barely took notice of the random pauses his whole body made or the way he would occasionally take self-soothing deep breaths. If anything, you wouldn't even know if this type of behavior was unusual for him since you saw him so rarely.

Come to think of it, you don't even have a baseline to work with when judging his overall character. That's partially due to the fact you two have never actually sat down and bonded, which led an idea to spark off in your mind.

"Yeah, it's my first day off in a while." You spoke in a slightly more upbeat tone now, excited for the proposition you were about to make. "So, since I'm home, how about we hang out and get to know each other properly." You smiled his way, tilting your head slightly as you awaited his response.

And just as the suggestion escaped your mouth, Shouto made the unfortunate mistake of turning around, his surprised expression out on display as he was yet to process what you just had said.

"Um, sure." is all Shouto was able to say. His heart thumped out of his chest, and his words knotted up in his throat.

The sudden proposition you offered him had him speechless. All these sudden coincidences being the last thing Shouto expected. Was it all too sudden, perhaps? Either way, he wasn't going to deny the opportunity at hand because who knew when you would be free again. Finally, this was his chance to answer the question that has been keeping up at night. And somewhat address these feelings that had started manifesting.

"Then, I was thinking... maybe we could have a movie night?" You chirped, leaning over the counter in excitement.

"You know, there's this movie my coworkers have been talking about, and I've really been wanting to watch."

For the first time, Shouto got to see you relish in your interests. A cute smile curling the corners of your lips as you spoke, rambling about this so-called movie. He couldn't help but smile at your bubbly nature, getting lost in the expressions you were making that he has never before seen. The way your eyes lit up and your hands waved around as you tried convincing him to watch the movie. Little did you know, you didn't need to convince him of anything, he would agree to watch anything with you. But he wasn't going to burst your joyful bubble now. He wanted to savor this moment, and so he let you speak whatever was on your mind, just burning this moment into his memory.

Dazing at your soft lips as you spoke, he realized how zoned out he had become; your speech becomes just a faint murmur in the back of his mind as all he could think about was how much more beautiful you looked up close.

"Ah, sorry! I completely went on a tangent there. I tend to do that when I get excited. I'm sorry!" You giggled while exaggeratingly facepalming yourself.

And with that, he was once more snapped back into reality. What were you just talking about? Aside from the mention of a movie night, Shouto couldn't remember much else. He couldn't have retained anything that fell from those pretty lips of yours. And down the gutter, his thoughts went once more. The overwhelming flustering feeling washed over him as he realized what ideas exactly he was having right in front of you. He needs to hurry up and respond to you rather than just standing there aimlessly staring at your lips.

"Don't worry about it. You look cute anyways when you're so excited about something." Those words left Shouto so fast he could barely believe he had said them himself. The humiliation already settling itself as he cursed himself for being such a creep.

The sudden affection from your roommate had you stuttering. You have had your eye on him ever since you moved in together. What was there not to like about him? He was good-looking, always left food out for you, and cleaned the apartment before you got back from work. The only issue was you. You were far too shy to admit to these feelings, your one solution being to lock yourself up in your room and avoid him like the plague. Today just so happened to be the exception as you felt a tad bit confident when he nonchalantly (as you perceived it) walked into the kitchen.

Now a compliment of this magnitude was the last thing you expected, and so your insides burnt hot as you shifted in your seat.

"Sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out that way." The concern in his voice was more than evident, the furrowing of his brows in frustration delivering his apology clearly.

"No-no, it fine! Really."

"What I was trying to say was that a movie night sounds great!" Shouto bopped his head down as he managed to completely fuck up this one opportunity that he had. To him, it seemed as though he had ruined everything, but if anything, he had succeeded a lot more than he gave himself credit.

You were still giddy at his subtle compliment, heart racing at the fact he called you cute. CUTE. Failure should have been the last thing on Shouto's mind as if he observed you a little more closely, he would have noticed the satisfactory grin on your face.

"Great! I'll meet you in the living room at 5 pm then." You hoped out of your chair, putting your empty cup away.

You definitely wanted to stay with him longer, but you needed to calm yourself down. The knots in your stomach tightening by the second as you felt flustered by his presence.

"Right."

Gently, you squeezed past him as you exited the kitchen, the cozy heat that radiated from his body sending goosebumps down your skin. Even with a touch so short-lived, you couldn't help but freak out. How would you manage this evening? Only future you will know the answer to that question.

As quickly as you parted ways, the evening arrived just as fast. A golden sunset burst through the living room window and drizzled the atmosphere in sweet honey. A soft breeze floated through as Shouto sat anxiously waiting for you.

His outfit was bland, but it was expected of him. Just a pair of generic grey sweatpants paired with a white tee. As stated previously, his attire was very bland. But it was comfy, to say the least.

Just on time, you finally met him at your designated period. Your heart hammered out your chest, not only from the nervous itch that was being with your crush, but the possibility of this all being awkward. It felt like meeting a stranger, only with an odd sense of familiarity attached. Maybe then calling him a stranger would be a poor analogy. Perhaps it was more like being left alone with that person your friend was trying to introduce you to. Yeah, that's a better parallel for how this all felt right now. However, it all still felt rather exciting.

"Hi! Are you ready?" You giggled as you sunk into the couch, sitting beside him.

"Definitely. What's the movie called again, y/n?" The way your name so easily fell from his lips set off the butterflies in your stomach.

It sounded so pretty coming from him, way prettier than you could have prepared yourself for. Suddenly, you found yourself speechless, mind going blank as you fished for the name of the movie you knew.

"U-um, it seems my mind has gone blank. Give me a second."

Rubbing your arm in an attempt to calm yourself, you let out your signature laugh. The golden hue of the sun stirred the color of his heterochromatic eyes as you glanced back at them, still thinking of the name of the movie you knew just a second ago. Attentively, his eyes examed you, and you managed to catch sight of this glance.

"Don't worry, take your time." With that, his eyes shot back up meeting yours. "Do you happen to be cold? You're rubbing your arm."

That explained his gaze, but it didn't happen to settle the nerves inside you. And in your flustered state, you responded with the first thing that came to mind as you swatted your hand to your side.

"Ah, yeah! It's a bit chilly with the window open in here."

Right on cue, Shouto reached for the blanket on the sofa, wrapping it snuggly over your shoulders. The way his slender fingers brushed against your skin as he positioned the fabric on you made you freeze. You could barely hear yourself think as your heart ran wild, adrenaline surging your veins. His face was so close, so close you could see how his eyelashes softly brushed his cheeks with every blink. Fast, it all happened so fast, and yet the memory replayed in slow motion in your mind. The way he just swept in and then back out.

"There. If it gets too cold I'll close the blind." He smiled at you comfortingly before reaching for the remote.

You couldn't do anything but sit there wide-eyed, your nervousness being unbearable.

"The movie... I can't remember its name." Finally, you admitted defeat, done battling your mind that was clearly not regaining composure any time soon.

"That's fine. I guess we can just watch whatever piques our interest for now. There's always next time."

There's always next time. The implication of another hang-out was soothing. Knowing that this wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity managed to quiet you down slightly as you repositioned yourself to sit more comfortably on the sofa.

"Right!" You beamed in agreement, turning your attention to the tv.

The mindless scrolling through Netflix lasted a while as you made conversation with one another. Talk of how most movies were boring filled your discussions, exchanging laughter here and there too. It all felt so reassuring, and both of you were starting to feel more relaxed. Movie after movie, it felt like you were about to hit a dead end until you eventually landed on something intriguing.

"This one! This one looks good, right?" You explained, pointed to the digital screen that gently lit up your faces.

"Right, it doesn't sound bad."

Shouto was beginning to uncover you and your character a lot better now. Seeing as you got excited about the most random things, but also the way you were so easily caught off guard. It put a soft smile on his face as he just admired you silently.

The movie began to play, the two of you settling down as the noises from the tv exclaimed through the speakers. To say that Shouto was happy was an understatement. Looking back on the evening from just last night to now was a huge shift, and a huge shift in the direction he could have hoped for. It was the start of something he had been wishing for long while now.

Hearing you laugh at the actors on screen, turning to face him as you shared the humours moments with him had him feeling all gooey inside. Lightly, your leg would occasionally brush past his, making him more than eager to pull a move on you. Fuck it, right? Apparently, Shouto couldn’t just have his cake, he wanted to eat it too.

You were far too cute in this moment, nudging on him softly as your laugh radiated through the air. And so, in a moment when his adrenaline spiked and clouded his judgment, he snaked an arm over you shoulder, cradling you into his chest. You gave into his invitation, resting against him.

Not to say you were all calm about the exchange, you were in fact the complete opposite. It was really happening, you were laying in Shouto’s toned arms, his fingers gently gliding up and down your forearm as he sunk down onto the couch. Laying himself down and then you on top of him.

Was Shouto calm about this, then? Definitely not. His hearts rapid beating was audible as you rested your head on his chest. Smiling hazily as you realised he was just as nervous about all this as you.

As he lay under you, you soaked in his touch, the way his toned figure felt as your hands snaked around his waist. And the way his breathing gently cascaded a chilly breeze down your neck, shivers forming along your soft skin. Ever smooth shift and touch his body made against yours was thrilling.

At this point you weren’t even concentrated on the movie, and instead on the boy under you. The movie acting more as background noise to the thing you really wanted to watch. Glancing up at his soft features, the way his plump rosy lips were slightly parted as his eyes shifted across the screen. Oh how you wanted to kiss him in this moment. What was holding you back exactly?

You could lean any minute if you just so pleased.

“Shouto?” You finally spoke up, interrupting the tranquility between you two.

His response was a simple hum, eyes falling to meet yours. The way he held eye contact, smiling at you invitingly was enough to have anyone falling for him. You felt extremely lucky to be even given the chance to be in this position with him.

“Can I?” You started, lifting yourself up slightly.

“Can you?”

He quirked a brow at you as he sat up to meet your movement. Trapped under you as your two legs straddled his lap, you gave him a sheepish smile. A short moment passed without a response, and Shouto smiled at you suspiciously, leaning in to jokingly examine your face.

“What’s on your mind?”

At his unannounced actions you glanced away, but Shouto only pulled your chin to look back at him. A smirk growing on his face before his palm came to cup your cheek; his other hand resting nonchalantly on your thigh.

And like he knew exactly what you were thinking, with a light brush of his thump against you bottom lip, he dipped in for a kiss.

His plump lips meeting yours. Soft, they felt so soft as they moulded perfectly with yours, meting against the other. The tender way his lips hovered for a second as he pulled away, licking his lips and then coming back in. Glazing you in his touch, he began to move again, taking in one of your lips at a time, relishing in your sweet taste. The way his lips massaged yours with every move he made had you pressing yourself into him.

It felt relieving in a way, finally dining the dish you’ve been craving for so long. After all these months you two have lived together, finally you both were holding each other like you have been wanting. Arms wrapped around his neck, fingers weaving throw his hair as you yearned for more.

Your plush tongue came to meet his, intertwining with the other. Happily, he ventured your mouth, taking in every inch of you. Smoothly dragging his tongue to the root of your mouth then pulling himself out, until he came back in once more to suck you back in.

The only think separating you two being the string of spit that drizzled off each other’s tongues as you caught your own breaths between each embrace. Your merciful moans he swallowed, his delicate hands travelling up your spin. They left a cold trail, fireworks erupting your stomach as the adrenaline of this all began seeping in.

You two were getting too carried away, but it just goes to show how bad you wanted one another. Shouto, however, wanted to clear things up before you continued any further.

He pulled away breathily, blinking at you with delight in his eyes.

“Y/n, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, and i’m sorry if this is sudden. But, I like you.”

That sentence alone had you more flustered than your previous touches and you smiled like a kid with candy.

Was this a dream come true? Maybe it was, which in that case, you definitely didn’t want to wake up. But, lucky for you, this was in fact reality.

“I like you too, silly” You giggled only inches away from his face, and the instant grin that sprawled across his lips was the only confirmation you needed.

Instantly, he engulfed you in a tight hug, his head cradling itself into the crook of you neck.

“Then how about we finish this off in my bedroom now that you’re all mine.” Was the last thing he said, his lips resuming their bidding on the soft skin in your neck.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #shoto todoroki #shouto todoroki #todoroki au #todoroki fluff #todoroki x y/n #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki au #shoto todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki x y/n #shouto todoroki x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #shouto todoroki imagines #shoto todoroki imagines #todoroki imagines #shoto todoroki fluff #shouto todoroki fluff #bnha x gn!reader #todoroki x gn!reader #shoto todoroki x gn!reader #shouto todoroki x gn!reader

[moonlightflower21]

just like magic

a/n: angsty fluffy. normal raph. there may be mistakes and it may be hard to follow through lol. but i hope you enjoy ❤

"y/n!! wait, please wait!!" the call of raph desperately trying to reach you fell on deaf ears as you angrily walked into the public so he couldn't come close.

it was so hard to decipher what you were feeling. betrayal, anger, sadness, embarrassment, pain. sometimes it felt like you couldn't even catch a break. he had been acting so suspicious and you couldn't help but recall what your best friend had said earlier, that when a boyfriend stop texting and calling back they were sleeping around.

he couldn't.... could he?

that one girl, amber, from the chief vincent crew had been crushing on him forever. you learnt that raph and her had a small fling years ago, before he ever met you. but other than that, you didn't know much else other than the fact that she absolutely hated your guts. the feeling was mutual of course but she never failed to make any small digs at you whenever you were together.

so when she came out of his room wearing nothing but lingerie, it wasn't an understatement to say your heart felt it had been stomped on the floor. leo, mikey and donnie were all out with their significant others so they couldn't even provide any help or shed any light on why she was in your boyfriend room

the reason as to why you came around was because you thought of surprising him, considering you hadn't even seen him for the last two weeks. he seemed to vanish for hours on end and while you didn't want to jump to any conclusions, you just had to talk to him. but seeing her come out of his room that he let no one in felt like a punch to the gut.

"when will you ever learn? first loves outshine any other" amber cackled in your face, swaying her hips as she left the lair. you couldn't even speak scared you would start crying on the spot. and the last thing you wanted was to give her the satisfaction.

you entered the room but aside her horrible perfume stinking the air, raph was nowhere to be seen. hell his bed looked empty. untouched. and yet his window was open, so perhaps he escaped? the more reasonable part of you disagreed vehemently, he wouldn't do this shit. and you couldn't trust that woman, she was out to drive you both apart

but this wasn't excusable either. the air felt constricting here, walls falling in closer so you left. angry tears on the brink of falling, the excited evening you had planned obliterated in small pieces.

---

the small bench in the park was empty and you sat, trying to reel in those thoughts but they proved to be a challenge.

"y/n please listen to me, i can explain everything i swear" you rolled your eyes but stood up. hearing his part would at least put your mind at ease and those burning questions could finally be answered.

"you get one chance raphael. let's go to my place, i don't want other people listening in" you look into his pleading eyes, turning the corner and walking home with him eagerly following you close.

raph entered your room, thankful for the heat that flooded his system. he didn't realise how long he was outside and how cold he was until he bagn to shake slightly. he turned his attention to you as you shrugged odd your jacket, brows raised at him.

"no more secrets, raph. no more lies otherwise we're done" you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. he nodded, ready to answer the oncoming slaught of questions that had been scorching holes in your chest.

"who is amber? and do you still have any feelings towards her??" your voice trembled a little at the end of that sentence, hoping her put your mind at ease. his jaw seem to clench slightly at the memory of her which brought some amusement.

"she's someone i thought i was in love wit'. 17 years old me didn't know shit at the time. after a while, i knew whatever we had was just infatuation. it was never gonna work out. she wanted a relationship while i was looking for something small. but that's in my past. i don't have any love towards her anymore. she was just a silly crush"

"she was your crush? doesn't seem like it" "she was. ya can't be mad at that because you've also crushed on guys before i came but that's a good thing! because they led us closer to each other and look at us" he holds your hand, his thumb gently rubbing over your knuckles which was something he usually did to reduce your stress. and against your will, you could feel those familiar butterflies invade your lower belly.

"but why was she in your room? looking very cosy in there, i might add" your jaw clenched tightly, glaring at the floor in order to contain your anger.

"she what?? y/n i promise i had no idea why amber was even in my room. i wasn't even there. in fact, i'm barely ever there most days" he rubbed the back of his neck, hesitating the last part.

"why?" your brow lifts and he sighs, grimacing.

"well... i... uh... got a job" he chuckles awkwardly, expecting you to burst in laughter. but you just seemed to have a confused look, intrigued at his comment.

"a job?" you ask and he nods, fidgeting with the end of his shorts.

"yeah... in construction. splinter thought it would be good anger management. i started doing it to also pay back for the necklace... that ya don't seem ta wear anymore" he narrowed his amber eyes around your neck and true to his word, you had taken it off. your hand touches your chest, feeling only the bare skin instead. the only reason you had taken it off was because he just kept being so secretive around you. and you didn't know who to trust.

"so that explains the extra muscles on your arms" you ponder and he laughs, flexing his bicep.

"they got us liftin heavy stuff" he rolls his shoulders, aching from last night. "i'm sorry for not saying anything about it. i didn't want to be laughed at" he chuckles but there's no humour in his voice, just nervousness which is rare for raph to ever have.

"you'd think i'd laugh at you?? i'm the last person to judge and i think it's a good thing for you. it's healthy to let your anger out in this way, i'm proud of you. but you have to stop with these secrets, they're only driving a wedge between us" your hand is gently placed on his knee which he appreciates, with you he never feels pressured to say things. you let him take his time which he's never found in other partners before.

"i know i just didn't want ta disappoint ya, i'm not a millionaire and i'm not the greatest looking guy either. i just wanted ya ta be happy at somethin-" "raph, you could never disappoint me. i don't care about money or fame, i just want you to be as serious about us, i just want to be there for you. but i can't do that if you keep pushing me away, hiding these things from me" you sigh your previous anger melting into sadness and relief.

"m'sorry princess, i do care about us. there's just things that i have trouble saying. but i promise i never mean to intentionally hurt ya" he cradles your hand, his gaze on the floor in deep thought. your head gingerly leans against his arms and his finger places comforting circles around your knuckles.

"where is yer friend? aren't ya supposed ta go out tonight?" raph remembered, looking around the room.

"yeah she's supposed to come soon but i haven't confirmed anything" you lean back on the bed watching his amber eyes narrow mischievously. in the way you grew to adore.

"so what i'm hearing is, we have time?" he smirked but you gently nudge his chest, shaking your head with an amused smile.

"i'm still annoyed at you" you chuckle when he smiles softly, his eyes shining under your lights. he leans closer to you, simply just wanting to be in your embrace.

"and i'll spend every moment making it up ta ya. let's just cuddle, i've missed ya"

#tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader fanfic #tmnt raphael #tmnt 2014/16 #tmnt 2016 x reader #tmnt raph #tmnt raphael x reader angst #tmnt raphael x reader fluff

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Hi! 💕 I hope I'm submitting this correctly but I'm assuming you write for the Shishigumi lions? If so, I'd like to request some sfw and nsfw headcanons for them dating a female herbivore and it's totally up to you which members you would like to write for (although Free and Agata are my favourites!)

You know I love the Shishigumi, a lot. So I went overboard. I offer my apologies.

I will say, since I usually put NSFW under cut, but due to length I put it all under cut, I do have a big warning for it as to not surprise y’all

There’s a lot I could write for them, but to keep it reasonable I kept it kinda short! Feel free to request more if you’d like!

I’m also not great at nsfw so I tried my best I hope you like it anyway

SFW

Ibuki (I love him and will never NOT include him in an ask about the Shishigumi)

Ibuki is probably the best one at dating an herbivore. He’s very gentle and conscientious of you as an animal and your limitations 

That being said, he’s top tier respectful. He knows you may not be as physically strong as her is, but that doesn’t mean you’re not strong in your own way. He also likes the idea of protecting you. 

Always walks side by side with you. He’s nervous about holding your hand, but he’d never say it. Do it for him. 

Has eaten meat for YEARS and really struggles with that part of himself. 

Doesn’t kiss you for a really long time, he’s inwardly terrified that he’s going to hurt you. You’d have to make the first move.

Keeps you away from his work. He doesn’t want you to get hurt. 

He knows his world is dark, gritty, and that you shouldn’t be a part of it. He wants to send you away, but can’t. He thinks he’s selfish. You’ll need to reassure him this is what you want. 

Herbivores can’t see in the dark, so he keeps lights on in key areas so you can see better.

Protective. If anyone gives you any trouble he’s quick to correct their behavior, he can be incredibly intimidating when he wants to be

Slouches so you’re around the same height. Give him a back/neck rub at the end of the day. It will make him feel better, and he liked being close to you

The kind of boyfriend that remembers all the major events in your relationships, including small ones. 

Once he gets comfortable, he’s a snuggle bug in private. Cheek kisses, arm around your shoulders when you’re sitting, wrapping his arms around your waist when you’re standing.

Lions can’t purr, but if they COULD oh man, he’d never stop

Free

He’s famous for enjoying females, so the fact that he’s dating someone seriously that’s not a feline is really strange

You should have seen the expression on one of the more flirty female lions when he turned them down. 

Everyone thinks he’s joking about dating you at first, when they see he’s actually serious the teasing dies down, but doesn’t stop (it’s at his expense don’t worry).

“Has hell frozen over? What’s someone like you doing with a guy like Free?”

He honestly doesn’t expect you guys to stay together for very long. He expects it to be a fling. Only it doesn’t stop. He doesn’t get tired of you or eat you....It’s weird but wonderful. 

Has eaten meat for years, and has a hard time letting himself kiss on anywhere but on the cheek. Likes to throw his arm around you and hug you. So he does show affection, but keeps his mouth FAR AWAY from your throat. 

Rests his head on top of yours 

Calls you “Babe” a lot. He has a lot of other nicknames for you to. Some of the lions don’t even know your name, just that you’re dating Free. 

Over. Protective. He knows the market, the animals in it and the animals who come to it. He is very prepared to shoot or maim anyone who tries anything. The fact he’s such a loose canon does help scare people off. Everyone knows who you’re dating and they make sure not to push it. 

He likes to show you off. He’s that guy that carries a picture of you in his wallet. Anyone who asks about him dating someone and he’ll show you off. 

“Sure she’s hot, but have you see the ass on my girlfriend?” 

Likes to show off in front of you. Fights? Yes. Please watch him and root for him.

Tries to get you to get a tattoo, but will NOT get identical ones. He doesn’t want to jinx it. If you wanna have similar tattoos though, that’d be okay. 

Dolph

A relationship with Dolph when you’re an herbivore is really low key. A lot of people don’t know you’re dating. He doesn’t want to put you in jeopardy

He’s pretty serious and it’s hard for him just to relax. He does relax when you’re alone and he knows you’re safe. 

Likes to lay his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat 

When you do go out together, you may have to initiate any hand holding.  He plays it off, but he’s secretly happy

He smokes, and you may have to get on him for that if you don’t like it. It’d be very hard for him to quit 

Will let you braid his mane, but wont keep it in if you go out

Supports your endeavors and does whatever he can to help. He may get a little to into it. You’ll say you wanna take a trip and he has everything planned out. It’s a blessing and a curse. 

Likes how small your hands are in his

When he has a hard day, just hold him. He’s heavy and will lean into you, but he just needs the support

Has to relearn how to be himself, and you really help with that. He smiles more when he’s alone with you. 

Has a really deep, gruff, morning voice

Agata

If lions could blush you bet he’d be constantly red. If you actually look close, the insides of his ears usually are

Loves holding your hand and hugs

Respects your boundaries. If Ibuki is the king of respect, Agata is the prince.

He’s still part of a dangerous organization in the black market, so when he’s working he’s all business. Only a few of the members know about you (just the inner circle). 

Agata, like most of the others, is petrified to kiss you. He probably has the worst anxiety out of anyone else. He’s a meat eater, he’s eaten your kind of meat before. What if He accidently hurts you?

Texts you all the time.

The one you can be on the phone with for hours and not know it

Likes it when you run your fingers through his mane

He’s stronger than he looks, so he may just pick you up and carry you every now and again. He just likes to hold you, let him have this

Brings you flowers and your favorite snacks whenever you have a bad day

Stammers when he’s flustered.

Likes to bury his face in your neck

He has a hard time being who he is versus how he thinks he should be. The fact he can goof off and just enjoy life without the strain of being a lion is a blessing. 

Probably says he loves you before you do. He does it when he’s half asleep on your lap. He falls asleep before he realized he said it, whoops.

You’d have to be the one to be aggressive in public. “Excuse me, he asked for no pickles”  meme

Miguel

He’s pretty quiet in his group, so no one knows you’re dating

Miguel is really good at thinking his feelings and thoughts, but isn’t great at voicing them. He does a lot of little things to show affection. He brings you a warm drink on a cold day, has food for you when you wake up, holds you hand

He likes to try and see the best in everything, even if he knows how ugly the world is

His mane is maintained carefully. Once you get really serious, he may ask you to help him with it. It’s pretty intimate, and when you’re done he looks at you like you have stars in your eyes

He’s the force of protection you don’t even know is there. He’s probably saved your life like, eight times, and never let you know that he did

Sabu

If Miguel is quiet, Sabu is dead silent

No one knows anything about his personal life, let alone his dating life

They find out one day when the group is trying to make plans for a fun sort of day, and he turns them down because you two have a date. It becomes a secret mission for the group to find out who you are.

They don’t, Sabu is the oldest member and one of the most clever

A popular headcanon is that his face is really, REALLY messed up. I share that headcanon. The first time you kiss the scars on his face he chokes up

He goes all in. he’s yours as long as you’ll have him. He expects the same respect from you. 

He’s eaten meat for a really long time, but he has more semblance of control being a smidge older than most of the other lions. 

A bit pessimistic 

Kisses you good morning and goodnight. 

Cuddles on the couch. He’ll watch whatever you want to, but he has his preferences

Wears his face covering everywhere, you’ll need to remind him he can relax when you’re alone

. If you get out of somewhere like work or school late at night, he’s waiting for you to take you home. 

So used to wearing a suit and tie, he doesn’t know how to do casual wear very well. He lets you pick most of his stuff out. 

Jinma

He knows a lot about the black market, so he’s over protective from the get go. However, since he does know so much, he knows what connections to make to keep you safe. 

Eats meat, and is self conscious that you’ll judge him for it. Please be nice to him

Kiss his eye with the spot, it makes him feel special

(Personal headcanon) His mane has never grown right, so he keeps it short. He’s kind of self conscious about it. A lions mane means a lot to male lions, he tries to keep it nice but...it’s nothing like some of the other Shishigumi’s manes. Pet it, run your fingers through it. Males don’t complimented enough. It’ll make him feel loved. 

If you ever wanna go anywhere fancy, because of his connections and knowledge, you can basically go anywhere at any time...as long as it’s in the black market, but he may know a guy that knows a guy. If there’s something more legal you need, he checks in with his other gang members to see who knows who

Has a wicked good memory, remembers pretty much everything you’ve said

Dope

A gentleman. He will hold doors open for you, offer his arm and hand when you walk together, brings you flowers. 

He, like all the Shishigumi, eats meat. He is self conscious about it an doesn’t want to scare you away. He will be upfront about it though. He wants honesty. he talks it out with you, and he will try and cut back but being part of the Shishigumi, and a meat addict, means it’s very hard for him to stop. He probably wont, not completely, but he tries not to do it around you. 

He doesn’t brag he’s dating you, but if he’s asked he gets this really peaceful look on his face

If you ever take him shopping at any flea market or outdoor stalls, he will get you the best bargain. He’s also amazing at helping you with any work contracts, apartment contracts and anything else.

Likes it when you brush his mane, and lets you put it up for him before he goes out. He doesn’t let you do anything fancy, but says when you do it it somehow turns out better

Hino

Hino is very attractive. His looks are what brings jobs in, so he keeps the fact that you’re dating a secret for business. 

Gives you extra affection in private because of it. Kisses, hugs, all that. His favorite is to kiss the back of your hand, he is kind of a romantic. 

Don’t get him wrong, he’s still a lion. If he hears that an animal is giving you a hard time, he will take them down and look handsome AF doing it

Eats meat, and like all the other lions worries for your safety. He tends to eat before he sees you, but after a while of you dating he becomes more relaxed. He doesn’t eat in front of you though. 

Spends a ton of time getting ready for the day, you may have to fight him for the bathroom 

Compliments you a lot. He uses the basic one liners at his job with older, lonely, animals. So, he uses unique ones for you. 

“I think the sun is jealous of your smile”

Totally lets your style his mane, and if you’re going out to somewhere not the black market, he’ll keep whatever style you give him. He’s confident and pulls anything off

Calls you Darling

Worst bedhead. 

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

NSFW Manage yourselves safely!

Ibuki 

It was almost impossible to get him in bed with you. He’s so worried and full of anxiety. Any mood you get in, you instantly gets ruined by him being worried he’ll eat you

You’re going to have to plan in advance and spend a lot of time talking about safety and safe words

Honestly? He does try and eat you the first time. Not intentionally and he stops himself, but to be fair to HIM as an herbivore...you almost let him

It kind of ruins the mood and you end up talking it out with him. He’s so ashamed he can’t look at you for a while. 

Once time goes by, and you move pretty slow, but it’s worth it. Sex with Ibuki is amazing

Remember how Ibuki is really diligent about your limitations and you as  an herbivore? Pays OFF when he’s with you

He’s all about foreplay and making sure you are ready and prepared before he does anything. Ibuki has big dick energy. He doesn’t brag but is blessed. But he knows that with you being smaller than him, he’s not down to hurt you with it 

 He starts keeping his nails short for you. The other guys may try and tease him for it, but Ibuki gets defensive over you and so it’s short lived.

His voice drops when he’s in the mood, and he borderline growls. You’ve been teasing him all day, you really should make it up to him

Surprisingly good at dirty talk, it kind of comes naturally to him and neither of you know why

Loves your thighs, and his whiskers tickle. 

He has big hands, and when you’re alone he may saunter up behind you and run them down your sides slowly, kissing your check and down your neck. 

Best at aftercare, no matter how tired he is, he will take care of you 

Free

Is more concerned than he lets on. He tries to pretend he’s all confidence, but he has a pretty hard time getting to the point of actually having sex with you. He actually start actively avoiding it. He blue balls himself. Someone help him.

He’s used to doing what comes natural, and what if what comes natural means hurting you? He’d rather not.

When you do finally try and have sex, he doesn’t kill you...but he does bite you. You need stitches, and he has even more of a complex (tell him he just gave you a cool tattoo or something)

He may actively avoid you or being near you. It’s a set back. He’s not like Ibuki who can talk it out, he’s supposed to be a lion, not a scaredy cat. 

You have to put your foot down. You’re dating a bad ass mafia lion, not some nervous school boy. Remind him about how much you care about him and how much you want him.

The second time goes better, but he’s a LOT more careful. he does maim a few pillows, claws the mattress. Their sacrifice is appreciated. (you two become famous for ruining and destroying beds. The other guys are both impressed and disgusted. Free has no shame)

Trims his claws so he can use them the next time. He’s learning.

This male is a womanizer, but he’s not great at doing things that females would stay for? It’s more of a hit-it-and go. He knows some tricks but...not a lot. 

Tries his best though. Loves to dig his hands in your hips. Leaves bruises. One time he got hammered and asked Ibuki for advice. Ibuki was helpful, but needed therapy afterwards. 

Rough sex 90% of the time (that other 10 is passionate sex that lasts hours, it’s pretty impressive)

Once you guys get comfortable, hope you’re okay with bite marks and kiss marks. You’d have to wear winter clothing 24/7 to hide them all. He’s VERY proud of you being his female, he doesn’t want any other male getting ideas

Turns him on if you take control. Most things you do turns him on. He’s near insatiable. You could roll out of bed, eyes still squinty, mascara from last night all over, and he’s like..man, that’s hot. Hope you’re okay with having sex in weird places, he’s going to ask. 

Not great at aftercare, but BOY can he snuggle. If you’re able to walk afterwards, you wont be able to. Clingy. 

Dolph

Wants it to happen organically, but when it finally does, he catches himself.

He’s looking at you under him, how your eyes sparkle and shine, and how vulnerable you are...And the idea that he could rip out your throat comes to mind and it terrifies him. He practically throws himself off you

You have to reassure him and talk to him. 

Dolph is careful with you the first time, and while he doesn’t bite you, he does dig his claws in a little to much. They may or may not scar. He feels bad, but he’s so in the moment he can’t help it

May drool a little. Don’t tease him until later. 

He doesn’t stop until you’re satisfied. It’s a promise. You will NOT be able to walk the next day. He’s going to make the claw marks up to you if it kills you and wakes everyone in ear shot. 

Out of all of the lions, you’re safest with Dolph. He’s ”the serious one”, which makes him practical and knowing. He actually does research and goes online to inform himself. 

Love bites. He doesn’t break skin, so you’re safe there. 

Loves it when you try and claw him. You can’t do a lot, as an herbivore, but the fact your instincts try and make you...really gets him going. 

Casual at aftercare. Better than average but nothing near Ibuki or Agata.

Not a sex maniac, and with work, it’s not high on his priority list. He’ll make up for it though ;)

Agata

Likes to pretend it’s not something he’s interested in, but he is. He just doesn’t want to pressure you, or scare you. Dating a lion is one thing, being fully exposed is another and he knows it. 

He thinks about it a lot, but doesn’t act on it. You probably will have to take the lead. Agata gets way to in his head.

The sweetest kisser ever, but when he’s heated they’re like fire. Biting your lip, you face carefully with his claws just teetering on the edge of digging in. He loves kissing you, doesn’t matter where. 

Kissing will lead to other things if you don’t stop him, but do you really want to?

Likes to pull you close, and the more heated he gets the more likely he’s going to grind on you without realizing he’s doing it

Totally whines if you stop kissing him. 

Younger than the rest of the Shishigumi, and is more prone to using his instincts. He eats meat and is afraid of hurting you, but his desire to fuck your brains out is far greater than the instinct to eat you

He does end up biting you, and uses his claws. The damage he does isn’t serious, but he still fuses over you when its over. 

Takes a while to let himself near you like that again. He beats himself up. You may have to prove to him you’re tougher than you look. 

When you try again, he makes up for his shortcomings. You’re not sleeping tonight, call in sick to work tomorrow. 

You may have to ask him to slow down. He intends to go all night, you may have to curb his enthusiasm. Don’t forget to take breaks for water so you don’t pass out. 

Wont stop until you’re satisfied. Doesn’t matter how tired he is. 

Sweet nothings in your ear non stop...between the moaning. He’s surprisingly vocal

Talk to him too. Part of the reason he cares so much about you is because you see him for who he is, not his status as a lion. 

Since he doesn’t plan having sex with you, and just lets it happen naturally, he always has things in his room for you. Just in case. Please don’t tease him about it, the other lions do that enough. 

Is totally the kind of guy to help you bathe afterwards if you want.

One of the biggest snugglebugs 

Miguel

Miguel is worried about having sex with you, but no one knows it but him. 

He’s the brawn of the group, and is strong as hell. He may end up trying to show off and you may end up in positions when you have to totally vulnerable (if it makes you uncomfortable, he’ll adjust. Just talk to him)

Muscles for days. The lion is made of stone, but has surprisingly soft touches. He knows his body and knows how to use it

He’s never had sex with an herbivore, he’s thought about it, but having sex with something he may eat later didn’t sit well with him. You are a different story. He’s thought about it a little to much

First time he has sex with you he claws you, and they’re pretty deep. You end up getting stitches. Unlike a lot of the other lions though, he doesn’t avoid you afterwards. He’s there when you get stitches, intimidating the doctor (who has a small heart attack every time Miguel moves)

Apologizes but isn’t afraid to try again. He trims his claws this time, you should really tell him the other things his fingers could be used for outside clawing your back. 

Do not mess with his mane or pull it, he’ll get grumpy. 

Loves your chest and carefully uses his tongue. Doesn’t matter what size they are, he’s a fan. 

Not very vocal, but likes it when you are. 

Sabu

Sabu is older and more controlled, so you’re pretty safe with him. 

He doesn’t seem like he’s interested in it, and since he doesn’t talk much, him bringing it up comes out of no where.

“Wanna have sex?”

Just out of no where. He doesn’t talk much so he doesn’t beat around the bush. You were just scrolling on your phone, and you nearly drop it.

He doesn’t hurt you when you have sex, not even by accident, but the couch you were on gets shredded. It looks like an animal twice his size attacked it. 

Runs his hands over your body, he can’t stop touching you. 

Kiss his scars, it sooths him, and he’ll pay you back

Loves your neck, but is careful not to leave any marks (you have no idea how he doesn’t, it’s like magic)

He doesn’t care if you leave kiss marks on him

No great with aftercare, but will make sure you’re okay and kisses your cheeks and on top of your head

Jinma

Disaster. He doesn’t mean to be, he just is

He wants it to be perfect, but while he knows everything about the black market, he doesn’t know much about having sex with an herbivore. He never really though of it, and now that he is...help him. He knows rumors of herbivore and carnivore relationships that have gone wrong so...he kind of freezes up. That, and he hasn’t been in a lot of long term relationships. 

While the others do their research, Jinma goes way to into it and becomes a bit overwhelmed, but hides it. 

You end up having to take control. For someone who knows the black market like the back of his hand, Jinma is the student and you are the teacher. You’re an herbivore, and you’re going to show him just how much you know (you are the captain now)

He bites you, and he does break the skin, but he just closes his mouth and allows you to decide if you wanna continue or stop

He starts keeping a med kit in his room just in case. 

He gets better, the more he learn and the more serious he is with you. Soon he’s compiling a book of knowledge on you.. He knows where to touch to make your toes curl, what to say, and your weak spots

He takes everything he learns and uses it against you one night. He’s a fast learner. 

 Dope

Part of negotiations is to know what a person wants and what they will go through to get it. So, when you bring it up, the look in your eyes is all it takes for him to know he needs to take you serious. 

Usually his kisses are quick and satisfying, but once he actually starts to seriously kiss you its like it’s the last time he’s going to do it. 

Likes to have you in his lap. Seeing your face is important to him. Every movement and actions of your body paints a picture of what you want. 

Third best at foreplay, what drags him down is he watches you to the point that he forgets what he’s doing

When you first have sex, he ends up clawing your hips and biting your lip to hard. You lip bleeds a little and his nails break the skin.  He’s a little worried, but if you don’t tell him to stop he’ll get permission to keep going. 

Ends up also biting you, but nothing to terrible or life altering. 

He loves watching you, body language tells a person a lot about someone, so no matter where or how, he likes seeing your face. 

Afterwards, he makes sure you’re okay, and comfortable, He does the basics, but doesn’t go overboard 

May leave a kiss mark or two, but it’s accidental. He doesn’t want to embarrass you (even if seeing you with kiss marks makes the animal in him deeply satisfied)

Hino

Hino knows a females body like no other. He’s not exactly promiscuous, but he likes being satisfied

Since dating you, he hasn’t been with any other females, he’s very needy. He’s not as bad as Free, but he’s getting there.

You have no idea how he seduces you every time, one moment you’re making tea, the next, you’re on the kitchen counter 

The first time you try and have sex with him, he claws you way to hard and you end up having to get stitches and fixed up. He feels awful and can’t look you in the eye. He swears he will NEVER do it again

He never does, he keeps to his word

Unlike some of the other lions, the fact he hurt you doesn’t keep him away. He feels bad, but now he’s going to try twice as hard to make sure every time he has sex with you is amazing.

Wont stop until you’re satisfied, and just seems to naturally know your body and what you like.

While he’s composed in public, you get to see a little wild in his eyes when he fucks you. He has this low growl that rumbles through his chest that you feel deep in your body the tighter he holds you

Probably has had sex with you on most surfaces in your home. 

Above average at aftercare. He tries, but having more one night stands than not hasn’t equipped him for great aftercare. He learns though. 

#Anonymous #freexreader #free x reader #shishigumi x reader #ibuki x reader #ibukixreader #dolph x reader #dolphxreader #agataxreader #agata x reader #miguel x reader #miguelxreader #sabuxreader #sabu x reader #jinma x reader #jinmaxreader #dopexreader #dope x reader #hinoxreader #hino x reader #beastars imagines #beastars x reader #the tags took me fifty years but I regret NOTHING #I loved this #can you do a few shishigumi? Nah #I do ALL OF THEM #I love them all #shishigumi

[seeuonadarknite]

freak — yandere oikawa tooru x f. reader

warnings: noncon, bullying, degradation, creampie, hickeys, exhibitionism

Milk bread? Check. Coffee? Got it. Gum?

"Shit!" The sound of your school loafers pattering against the sidewalk resonated throughout the desolate road as you hastily detoured back to the gas station. You were probably the store's first customer of the day, and here you were ever so graciously returning because you forgot something as minimal as chewing gum.

Any sane person would forget the gum and continue their journey towards the school. But you were far from that. You had to have a few screws loose if you willingly took time out of your day to cater to your high school bully and buy him a few of his favorite snacks. Hell, his friends have even dubbed you as his little admirer due to your obedient nature.

But you weren't catering to his needs like some sort of servant because you wanted to impress him. The only thing that kept you from smacking him across the face and calling him a stuck up jerk was pure fear. You're not some masochist that enjoys being taken advantage of by someone with a power imbalance over you all because of his stupid social status, but your options are limited.

It's either play along with his brutal torment for the rest of the last semester, or try and defend yourself and place a giant target on your back for his vicious fan girls. And even if you tried fighting him back, you wouldn't even need to be outnumbered by his friends to lose. We're talking about the Grand King here. He'd take you down by himself in a matter of seconds.

As hard as it was being seen as a freak that embraced Oikawa's torment, you'd much rather lose your dignity rather than your own safety. If Oikawa told those girls that you tried laying a pretty little finger on him, he'd be throwing you into a pit of rabid wolves to shred you apart and eat you alive.

Plus, you weren't as bad as everyone made you out to be. If there was anything Oikawa was better at other than playing volleyball, it was lying. He could spread a rumor about you robbing a damn bank and not a single person would bat an eye at his impossible claim. The fact that he has the entire school body in the palm of his hand is more than unsettling. Saying you weren't interested in testing his immeasurable power was an understatement.

Sprinting over to the spot behind the school that Oikawa was oh so keen on meeting you at, your heavy pants soon turned into wheezes. God, you were only three minutes late but you were shaking like a leaf. If anything positive came out of this situation, it was that you learned that it'd be a good idea to bring a grocery list next time, and maybe some water.

"You're late, [y/n]. Care to explain?" It wasn't hard to miss the irritation that laced the normally cheerful male's tone. Lo and behold, Oikawa was already stood at your regular spot, looking as cocky and smug as ever. There was nothing that excited him more than watching your face visibly drop at the sight of his presence. What, did you really think you'd get by with being even a second late? Time was precious, and you weren't going to get away with wasting his.

Oikawa basked in the way you powerlessly trembled as he made his way towards you. You didn't even bother trying to cower away, it was priceless! Placing a hand on your chin, he forcefully tilted your head upwards and rubbed a thumb over your lower lip. "I-I'm sorry! I.. I forgot the gum.." He shot you a glare. "B-But I went back and got it! That's why I'm a little late.." You could barely even muster up a coherent response, you were so nervous.

Judging by the way he ripped the grocery bag out of your hand and began rummaging through the contents of the bag, he was not buying your excuse. Picking up the can of cold coffee you had specifically picked out for him, his eyes narrowed in disgust. "You got me the kind with creamer. Are you trying ruin my perfect body image?"

Diverting his gaze from the coffee to you, he sent you an expectant look. If you didn't come up with a reasonable excuse within the course of a few seconds, Oikawa would make you regret waking up this morning. "This was the last one left! I'm sorry—" Lies. You cut yourself off as you felt a cold, sticky substance run down your chest and seep through your school uniform.

He was pouring the coffee you had paid for all over your chest, wearing a sickeningly sweet smile while doing so. You couldn't tell what was more discomforting, the feeling of ice cold coffee sticking to your skin, dripping all the way down to your bellybutton, or the unsettlingly lustful gaze Oikawa held on your figure. He had to be joking. Sure, he was a jerk that got off on making your life a living hell, but he never took it to such perverse extents.

"Aww, you look so cute with your tits covered in coffee. You must be freezing! I'll warm you up." Somehow the idea of him warming you up sent chills running up your spine. There was no way in hell he was about to do something thoughtful like giving you his jacket or helping you clean up the mess he deliberately made.

Forcefully grabbing you by the shoulders, Oikawa shoved you onto the cement with ease, watching your face contort into a cringe. You could already feel the rough texture of the ground scraping at your skin through the thin fabric of your uniform. Was he about to beat the shit out of you? Why was he looking down at you like a starved carnivore?

Instead of answering the questions rapidly flowing through your head, Oikawa straddled your waist with both lanky legs. However, instead of trying to fight him back, you stare at him with a dejected look in hopes of him hurrying up whatever the hell he planned on doing.

"Now, I'm sure you're not big on getting attacked by my loyal fans. So do me a massive favor and be quiet, alright?" You wanted to wipe the stupid smirk right off of his face as he basically threatened you. This man was about to use you for his own personal pleasure and there was nothing you could do about it.

Glancing down at your glossy eyes one last time, Oikawa basks in the fearful expression that adorns your face. Making quick work of your coffee stained uniform, he popped open the buttons, giving himself a clear frontal view of your sticky cleavage.

A small smirk tugged at his lips as he glanced down at the lacy bra that adorned your body. "Not only have you decided to wear such a lewd piece of clothing, but you wore the kind that snaps open in the front? Ahh, you must want me to fuck you."

Oikawa wasted no time in snapping open your bra, allowing your breasts to spring free. Both of your tits were on perfect display for the setter's hungry eyes to gaze at. You felt powerless and small under his primal stare. It couldn't possibly get any more worse than this.

Maybe the rumors were right, maybe you were a tad bit unhinged. Any sane person would've seen this coming from a fucking psychopath like Oikawa. "P-Please.. don't do this.." You gave pleading one last shot as you stared pathetically into his chocolate brown eyes that gleamed with amusement.

Unfortunately for you, your doe eyes only seemed to egg the cocky brunette on as he roughly clasped your breasts with each hand. Although the uncomfortable, yucky feeling of coffee sticking to your skin still lingered, the only thing you could zero in on was your tormentor's working hands as he squeezed your hardened nipples in between his slender fingers.

He was squeezing and fondling your sensitive mounds like stress balls. Did he forget that you were a human just like him? Has he really amounted you to a mere plaything for him to toy with whenever he pleased? With the way that his hands kneaded and pulled at your breasts like dough, you were beginning to think that your theories were correct.

His half lidded eyes flicker up to yours for a split second, allowing him to witness the deliciously mortified expression you wore. Within a fluid movement, Oikawa leans down and traps your lips in a ferocious kiss. It started off with just Oikawa forcefully merging his lips onto yours, but with the squeeze of your breast you regretfully gasped, allowing passageway for his wet appendage.

It's hard to decipher what's more uncomfortable; the feeling of Oikawa's tongue swishing around yours, rendering it nearly impossible to breathe or the obvious hard on he has rubbing up against your skin. When he finally pulls away, his breaths are heavy and uneven.

Hooking his fingers under the waistbands of your skirt and panties, Oikawa tugs the elastics down, watching as your slick strings down along with your panties. Crimson shaded your cheeks as you averted your gaze from Oikawa's. If there was any possible way of coping with the mortifying situation at hand, it'd be closing your eyes and pretending to be anywhere but where you were.

Unfortunately for you, sight wasn't your only sense. Shutting your eyes wouldn't stop you from hearing the sound of Oikawa's belt buckle clinking, and it wouldn't prevent you from feeling his hardened cock running across your thigh. Opening your eyes, you couldn't help the audible gasp that escaped your lips as you gazed at his cock. It was as big in girth and in length as all of his fan girls had claimed. You really hoped that they had been bluffing.

Oikawa seemed to appreciate your unwavering eyes, as he prodded the tip of his cock at your hole. "Wait! Please, don't.. At least use a rubber." You pleaded, trying your hardest not to let any lewd noises to escape your mouth as he began easing his head into the walls of your cunt. However, all your pleading did was evoke an amused chuckle from the man top of you.

"Aww, that's all you're worried about? Don't worry, I'll pull out," He coos, grabbing the curves of your hips to steady himself as he pushes himself further inside of your pulsating hole. As uncomfortable as the foreign feeling of Oikawa's massive cock pushing your walls apart was, you felt a small wave of relief wash over you upon hearing his response.

He seemed to notice the look of relief taking over your features, because he sent you an ear to ear grin that put the cheshire cat to shame. With a forceful thrust that would surely leave you sore, Oikawa finally pushes the rest of his length into the constricting walls of your cunt. "..after I cum inside of you!" He grabs onto your legs and folds them into your chest within a fluid movement, making it easier for his cock to reach spots your measly fingers would never be able to find.

He either didn't notice or decided to ignore the the way your body physically tensed at his response. He was joking. Right? Sure, he obviously knew no boundaries and had no problem using and abusing your body, but you assumed he had the smallest bit of self control. Maybe you were thinking too highly of him.

Rearing his hips back a fraction, Oikawa thrusts back into you, already kissing the tip of your cervix with the head of his cock. His pace starts off slow and steady, allowing your insides to memorize each and every curve and vein on his cock. If you weren't so upset with him for doing this against your will, you would've been appreciative of his benign thrusts.

Glancing up at the clock that hung from the back of the school, Oikawa cringed. He had to make this quick. His comfortable, languid pace quickens as soon as you can relax. The once quiet spot behind the school is soon filled with sounds of grunts, moans, and ear deafening slaps. Any regard for your personal comfort is gone out the window, as he thrusts in and out of you at a rapid, unrhythmic pace.

He nestles his head into the crook of your neck, running his lips over the sensitive skin whilst his hips smack against yours at what feels like one hundred miles per hour. "Maybe I'll mark you. Nobody else will be allowed to fuck you like this, only me.." If your mind wasn't zeroed in on the feeling of his balls slapping your rear at full speed, you would of picked up on the hint of possessiveness in his tone.

Eyes trained on the skin of your neck, Oikawa began sucking and nibbling, leaving a trail of purple bruises starting from your neck and ending at your chest. It was a mystery how he managed to create love bites and brutally fuck your hole at the same time.

Just the twitch of his cock causes your insides to squeeze at his length like a snake constricting around its victim. "Fuck, you're really tight, huh?" He grunted in your ear, basking in the way your insides devoured his throbbing cock with each and every thrust.

As Oikawa somehow managed to fasten his pace, he moved his hand down south, placing the pads of his fingers onto your swollen nub. If you weren't close before, you definitely were now. With the pressure of his fingers working absolute wonders on your clit, and his throbbing cock desperately pushing at your cervix, your body begged you for release. A small knot formed in your abdomen as his movements quickened, and your plushy walls began clamping down on Oikawa's cock.

With one last harsh hit to your cervix, you come undone, gushing your juices all over his twitching cock. As soon as you reach your well awaited climax, your vision begins to spot and your brain starts to fog. You were far too dazed to focus in on Oikawa hooking his arms over your thighs and slamming himself into your aching hole at a ferocious pace. "Aw, what a little baby! You came so fast." He taunted in your ear, half lidded eyes trained on your figure as he pummeled into you with hostile thrusts.

Although he teased you for releasing so fast, he felt his own climax arise with the way your innards hugged his cock. All it took was one last final thrust into the milking clutch of your cunt before he reached his end, hitting your swollen cervix one last time to shoot his load into your womb with a drawn out groan. God, he didn't regret ditching his condom for a second. Seeing his hot, thick fluids seep from your quivering hole boosted his already inflated ego. Only he was capable of leaving you like this.

Sliding his cock out of your dripping cunt, Oikawa watched as you sat up from your spot on the cement and began buttoning up your shirt. Cute, now coffee wasn't the only sticky substance splattered all over your skin.

After pulling his pants back up and fixing his disheveled hair, he helped you up from the ground. It would've been a kind gesture, if he hadn't followed it by forcefully tugging your panties back up with a condescending grin. "Don't go to the bathroom or wash up. If you do, I'll fuck you again and cum inside of you twice. Don't forget, I have eyes everywhere." His voice was disturbingly cheerful for the unsettling words that came from his mouth.

Sending you one last signature grin, he flashed a peace sign at you like you were one of his fan girls asking for a picture. It baffled you how two faced he could be at times. "See you later, slut!" He giggled before leaving you alone at the scene, drenched in all kinds of different liquids.

Whoever told you that high school was going to be easy was lying through their teeth.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #xreader #yandere drabble #tw noncon #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu #hq #yandere hq #yandere oikawa tooru #yandere tooru oikawa #yandere oikawa #yandere tooru #yandere oikawa tooru x reader #yandere tooru oikawa x reader #yandere oikawa x reader #yandere tooru x reader #oikawa #tooru #oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa #oikawa x reader #tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #tooru oikawa x reader

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Too late | Dazai x reader |

Too late | Mafia Dazai / dazai x fem!reader |

( A very shitty attempt at a song-fic. )

Warnings- toxic relationship (minor mentions of abuse?), death

A brunette sat on the cement. The tan folds of his coat fluttering out behind him. The wind brushed his hair from his face, it stung his eyes and brushed his skin with bitter cold air. His fingers dripped the brightest shade of crimson. His eyes had dilated and shook with shock and fear. The skin his hands desperately held, already losing its warmth. Lips stained the color, as well as the outfit that resembled his own. Those blood-stained lips coughed final words before letting go. How, how had this happened? Why had he never predicted this? Why would you ever do this?

He knew those answers like he knew his own crimes. After all, how could he forget? He’d been the reason you fell, he’d only denied it for years.

The sun fell softly along the stone. A boy, no older than 15, walked along the stone edge of a bridge. His brown locks flying within the wind whilst he adjusted the bandage over his left eye. He paid no mind to you, even as you walked behind him. Your feet carried you on the safer ground, next to the edge. It was common to find the two of them like this. You were always with him, whenever you could be at least. He never seemed to notice you were there; You didn’t mind it though. The rare moments where he did suddenly ask you questions were enough. Rushing to close the distance between you and him, you caught a glance of his eyes darted to the side. He was looking at you, the single eye that showed seemed puzzled, before he parted his lips to talk to you; His arms opened at the same time. Skipping around steps, he smiled, “Hey, why are you still following me, woman? Don’t you have a better hobby than stalking me?” so he did notice you at times.

Flustered you froze before chuckling with a light hum. “No, not really Dazai-san. I think you're interesting! You're the only one I can't read.” you were referring to your ability. It wasn’t much, so you weren't too high up in the ranks. You could read thoughts, see their feelings in the form of aura, and manipulate that aura. So far, you could make people freeze up and lose themself in an overdose of emotions. Also known as individual illusions created by their auras; things only they could see. It was hard to believe you were even in the mafia. Your bubbly appearance and lack of interest in killing made you look harmless. You never killed, but when you worked with another they sure had an opening to kill.

Dazai leaned down so he leveled with you. “I wonder, have you ever thought of using that ability to induce such outrageous depression, one acts on it?” blushing you took several steps back shaking your head.

“N-no, sir! I d-don’t think I could do that. Well, if Dazai-san really wanted me to, I-I could try it for him!” What were you saying? Knowing this demon prodigy, you’d probably end up not meeting the expectation and ending up punished. Though, would that be so bad?

He puffed his cheeks out, jumping from the edge to land in front of you. With a half-smile, he flicked your forehead. “You keep doing the opposite of what I predict. I really can’t get a read on you.” turning away you covered your face.

“I-is that a compliment?” you mumbled, looking through your fingers. He shrugged, jumping back to the ledge. His eyes lost their glimmer as he looked down. He seemed to be judging the distance; With a heavy sigh, he looked back to the sky.

“If only this was a little higher. I think falling into the water and dying right away, without the pain of falling to the ground, would be okay. I’d drown unconscious, how peaceful that would be.” you didn’t respond as he turned and began walking again.

~

Year after year you walked by his side, growing with him. Slowly that bubbly gaze began to fade ever so slightly. The fun-filled times like the day on the bridge no longer existed.

My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost

Standing next to the demon prodigy you stretched out your hand with a sigh. “Ability: vortex of emotions.” from the shadows you worked alongside him. The enemy's hands reached their head. A perching scream echoing as they turned their gun to themselves. Looking to the side your eyes met the brunettes; They were colder than they were a year ago. Sighing, he raised his pistol and shot. He pushed past you, and you followed numbly.

I need to feel something, 'cause I'm still so far from home

Entering the box he called his home, his hands grabbed your waist pulling you towards him. His fingers lifting your chin. The flutter of your heart pounded against your chest, the closer his face came to yours. “You really should stop following me everywhere. If you won’t at least try to kill.”

Cross your heart and hope to die. Promise me you'll never leave my side

Nodding as he released you, he sat at his desk. “Mori won’t be happy that we clocked out so early.” he leaned back groaning. “Found a new suicide method? I don’t want to deal with his annoying voice tomorrow!” his older persona slipped through. The light in his eyes spread before it disappeared with your silence. Yet despite that, there was a caring hint to his posture. The way his hands moved softly, how he traced your bow. How he exhaled with a sigh when you closed the door

Show me what I can't see when the spark in your eyes is gone

~

Another year went by with a soft ease. You stood in Mori's office, a blank expression on your face. You were sure you were dead. Messing up like this, letting somebody get away. You were shaking, unsure why your breaths still rang. The doors opened to the brunette mafioso. Dressed in all black, a short ginger walked at his side. The way your emotions suddenly changed was unnoticed by everybody but Dazai. His eyes set in glares as you looked away. Your heart raced, why was it you still felt like this? He treated you as a pawn, yet you still ached to kiss him. Mori blamed your failure on Dazai’s lack of discipline with you. “I’ve been more than lenient with how she follows you around. If this happens again, it will be you who pays the price Dazai.'' Why did this have to happen in front of the ginger? His eyes looked at you with sympathy. It was weird to see such a thing. Dazai rolled his eyes stepping closer to the ginger as his eyes darted to you. Puffing your cheeks out you looked away.

Once you were in his office, he practically pulled you by the ear. Pushing you to the floor with his frustration. “I don’t understand why I keep you around! All you seem to do is put me in situations that bore me to death!”

You've got me on my knees I'm your one man cult

You looked up with begging eyes. “Please, I’m sorry Dazai-san! Please forgive me! I’ll do better! Please don’t leave me.” he was the first person to ever make you feel real emotions. Fear, excitement, lust, love, heartache, despair. He gave it all to you.

Cross my heart and hope to die Promise you I'll never leave your side

It was an unexpected look, an unexpected plea. His eyes showed excitement. “There, there’s the reason! You can’t stop doing the opposite of my expectations, every time I think you’ll do something, you manage to shock me, even in this kind of situation! I wonder, would you commit suicide if I died? It would be so unexpected!” his voice was full of wonder as he lifted your chin using the front of his foot.

Looking at him he smirked. He'd known, all along, about your feelings. He teased you all the time, but maybe he could finally get an expected reaction from you. It would be possible to toy with you. Maybe then he’d be satisfied with you. “Would you ever be only mine? Something only for my eyes?” with wide eyes you nodded.

Cause I'm telling you you're all I need I promise you you're all I see

With a smile, you brought your hands to press against your chest. With a desperate smile, your eyes filled with that childish light from when you were 15. “Even if I'm only being used for your satisfaction, it would be all I need! You're the only one for me." Once more he was shocked by the response. Nearly losing the balance he had, his hand reached to his face a soft snicker leaving his lips.

“You’re utterly helpless.” he hummed, removing his foot from under your chin. “Come here darling~” he was certainly stressed today. A little fun wouldn’t hurt, right? “Tell me you’ll never leave.” he hummed holding your chin within his fingers. The blush on your cheeks darkening in your complexion.

'Cause I'm telling you you're all I need I'll never leave

His lips met yours. Shivering you closed your eyes, letting a tear fall. You wished he truly loved you back.

~

Another year passed, you stayed by him no matter what he did. He was crueler than ever. He often left you at night to go hang out in a bar. Those nights were lonely but a ginger often peeped in to see you. “You look like hell.” he would always tell you how messed up you looked. “Why do you stay by him?”

The images passed by your head. The boy you fell in love with. The young 15-year-old. The one with a smile that would show itself here and there. The young boy who jokes around, the carefree one. You picture the feeling of his fingers over yours. Cold yet so warm in those years.

So you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand

“I love him.” you hummed watching the male drop a bottle of wine in your lap. He walked out leaving the gift. He knew you understood how cruel he was. He had never really pitied anybody before but you… you were something he pitied. A demon prodigy's toy, your relationship was nothing more than toxic.

I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell And you can throw me to the flames

Sipping on the wine you drank yourself drunk. “I love him… he loves me. I love him. He loves me, I know he does. I’ve seen some softness in those harsh eyes.” you wiped the tears looking up to the ceiling. What had you gotten yourself into? Why did your heart have to play you like this?

I will follow you, I will follow you

~

He stood looking so conflicted, broken, and unsure. It wasn’t the first time you saw him without the bandages but it was the first time your dull lifeless eyes saw him this vulnerable. “Figures, you do follow me everywhere.” his voice was blank of anything; You could no longer read his voice.

Come sink into me and let me breathe you in

It was true, you needed him, so of course you followed him everywhere. “Go, we’re done! I’m not going back! This is all Mori's fault! He’d be alive if it weren't for inviting that damn organization here!” he was upset, yet he seemed so confused. Like a child, he had no grip on what he was feeling. Was he angry, grieving, sad? He couldn’t tell.

You ran to him wrapping arms around him. “I will go with you! I will follow you!”

I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen.

You'd hold him down during this pain. You’d help him achieve whatever it was that he needed. “Even if it is death, I will not leave.”

So dig two graves 'cause when you die I swear I'll be leaving by your side

With a soft sigh, he pushed you away. “That changes nothing, follow if you have to but I never loved you.” you backed away smiling you curtsied.

“I know Dazai, I know you never did and never could. You are a demon prodigy, one that can’t understand his own feelings. I wish I could help, but your gift cancels mine out.” your voice was sweet as honey, but he shed you no more glances as he walked away. Following him, you sighed.

~

Two years later your empty eyes sat at an agency desk, you'd bought an outfit to match his. Those feelings refused to leave you even after all this time. They surged more than ever. He was like his 15-year-old self again, different but at least there was life in his eyes. He laughed and flirted just as he did those years ago.

So you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand

You looked to the cafe waitress’s hand, then your own. How you wished to be her. You stood up, walking out and to the office of the agency, sitting in your chair, Kyouka walked up to you. She once had your eyes. Dull, lifeless, broken, but then Atsushi seemed to save her. “Do you love him?” she asked tilting her head as you looked from your phone to her, you sighed.

“Yes, but I'll suffer for life over this. I had my chance and now it’s gone.”

I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell

She set down a small piece of paper. “I found this.'' She tried to give you a smile that wasn’t pity. They often asked why you always looked so disturbed. Maybe it was the fact you were really all alone now?

And you can throw me to the flames

A tear dropped from your eye. Something, a feeling you hadn’t had in so long. It was worth it, these empty dull years. “A tossed away letter to apologize.” you held it to your chest.

~

I will follow you so you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand

You found yourself alone on a mission. This was assigned to both you and Dazai, but he had other things he wanted to be doing. Neither of you knew how dangerous this was. He had not batted an eye at this mission. It was simple, a simple recovery mission. A ransom kidnapping, simple in and out. You could handle it without being seen. You ached for the warmth of his hand. A little light lifted your eyes as you stepped into the building.

When his fingers opened his phone accepting the call, he nearly fell over dead. The mission you were attending wasn’t a retrieval; It was a set-up. Despite how careful he'd been, somebody had found out about you. More so his past with you. His mind was too focused on you to think of who let it slip.

I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell And you can throw me to the flames

Dazai pushed past the doors too late. This was his fault, all of this. The loss of your true self.

I will follow you, I will follow you I will follow you, I will follow you

You'd always said you would follow him. It was always like that. He had taken years to figure out why he never ignored or let you go. He was selfish, he had grown attached. Ango and Oda had even offered the thought. The thought that, maybe in this heart; swallowed by black, he loved you.

It was his turn to feel desperate as he dropped down. The blood flowing from your stomach in spurts.

So you can drag me through hell If it meant I could hold your hand

He held your hand in his while also trying to keep the bleeding down. “I’ll get help! Just hang on, we just need Yosano!” it was the first time your heart slowed like this; The first time you could read him like a book.

I will follow you 'cause I'm under your spell And you can throw me to the flames

Your hand was growing cold, your breathing staggered. You looked to be in so much pain. “No, I won't be that long. You should leave, you don’t love me so…” your voice trailed off as your head tilted to look at his cheeks. Tears… there were tears.

He shook his head pressing your hand to his forehead. “I will follow you.”

Your eyes widened as a light chuckle left your lips, “I will follow you.” you hummed, as the crimson left your lips. He was forced to watch you die in his arms. There was one final look on your face. A giant smile, a real smile on your lips. “I love you Osa…” then, you were gone.

Another, another friend in his arms, dead. No, you are more than a friend. “I… I love you.” he’d never said those words, and it didn’t matter now. There was no going back. He held you to him, cold and motionless.

Somebody from the mafia had done this. Somebody would probably be Mori… he’d dropped this low before, it wouldn’t shock him if he were trying to drive Dazai to murder again; To get him kicked from the light.

For you, for the wish left by Oda, he wouldn’t let himself fall that low. He’d be strong.

#bsd #bsd x reader #bsd song-fic #really shiity attempt at a song fic #bsd dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x reader angst #dazai angst #reader x dazai angst #dazai x you #bungo stray dogs #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader song-fic #first attempt at a song-fic #this kinda sucks