#without his best friend - his brother - there was nothing to stay loyal to anymore - least of all queen or country
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New Releases Mar. 19, 2024
The Contract Between a Specter and a Servant (novel) vol. 1 by Michiru Fushino
That was the worst day of Masamichi Adachi’s life. He failed the college entrance exam again, was fired from his part-time job, and to top it all off, was fatally injured in a hit-and-run. However, just as he was resigning myself to death, a stunningly beautiful man appeared and said to become his servant. In exchange for his life, Masamichi now works for the mysterious entity that runs an antique store…
Ennead vol. 2 by Mojito
BREATH MATCH
The first of three matches for the throne of Egypt has begun! Who will last the longest underwater without breathing? Horus may be determined, but he is no god, and Seth has both cunning and divine stamina on his side. Meanwhile, Isis has plans of her own to help her son…but will they be enough to ensure his victory?
Heat × Beat: I May Be an Omega, but I'm Going to Be an Idol! by Ken Homerun
Asahi wants nothing more than to be an idol, and when he's chosen as the latest member of boyband B-Marks he's over the moon. Except for one little detail; Asahi is an omega, and one of the other members, Madoka, is an alpha. Insisting on staying unmated to remain loyal to their fanbase, Asahi agrees to a “friends with benefits” arrangement to appease their hormonal urges without commitment. At least, that's what he intends…
How Do I Turn My Best Friend Into My Girlfriend? vol. 1 by Syu Yasaka
Minami and Yuzu have been besties since…well, forever! Or at least that’s what Minami thought. But when some rando confesses to Yuzu, Minami realizes that her feelings might not be what you’d typically call “friendship” anymore. It doesn’t take long for Minami to realize she wants to change their relationship status, but will she be able to muster the courage to confess? Or will she simply be happy being by Yuzu’s side?
I Can't Say No to the Lonely Girl vol. 1 by Kashikaze
Quintessential good girl Sakurai finds herself trapped in the middle of a bribery scheme. Her teacher offers to write a recommendation letter in exchange for luring a truant student into attendance. Sakurai pins down the reclusive transfer student Honda, but there are strings attached. Honda demands that Sakurai grant one wish every day. The first wish is a kiss—and Sakurai finds herself feeling very eager to please…
The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (manga) vol. 5 by Piero Karasu and Yuri Kisaragi
Lainie, the daughter of a baron, is the mysterious girl at the center of the scandal over Euphie’s broken engagement. Anis, the reincarnated princess, can’t help but feel there’s something odd about Lainie, so she conducts a checkup on her-and comes to a shocking conclusion! At the same time, Anis's brother Algard, the prince of Palettia, takes the lead in a grand scheme that’ll impact the whole kingdom…
The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (novel) vol. 6 by Piero Karasu and Yuri Kisaragi
When Anis and Euphie learn that vampires are threatening the Kingdom of Palettia, they scramble to formulate countermeasures. Then, an urgent message comes from the East, stating that a vampire has been captured-a powerful one with great ambitions!
Minato's Laundromat (manga) vol. 2 by Yuzu Tsubaki and Sawa Kanzume
Akira Minato, an ex-office worker who now owns a shabby laundromat, doesn’t know what to do when high school hottie Shintarou Katsuki professes his feelings for him. Still troubled over a past love that he never came to terms with, Akira wants to refuse-but he can’t quite bring himself to deny Shintarou’s straightforward passion. Meanwhile, Shintarou’s classmate, Asuka Hanabusa, decides to meddle in their affairs…
Mitsuka (manga) vol. 2 by akabeko
Leo is host at a nightclub, and he always thought he had no interest in men — until he slept with Takahiro, a sex worker who introduced him to pleasures he'd never felt before. Now, sex with women doesn’t satisfy him, and after begging Takahiro to sleep with him again, they agree to a “friends with benefits” arrangement.But just when Leo thinks he may be falling in love, one of his best customers asks him to sleep with her. Takahiro catches him in the act, and things take a dark turn…
Monthly in the Garden with My Landlord (manga) vol. 2 by Yodokawa
Sharing a house with the former pop idol Miyako is going smoother than Asako ever expected! But her cohabitant might not be having such an easy time?! Miyako suddenly finds herself harboring mysterious feelings towards her manga editor roommate. It’s then that she receives shocking news-her former idol unit is coming out of hiatus! Amidst all her confusion, Asako reaches out a hand of support…but can Miyako return to being the carefree landlord she once was?!
My Love Will Last Until the End of Time (manga) by Nanako Haida
Ever since he was a child, Hiroto's had memories of his previous life: a life where he reigned as the well-respected Prince Luke and fell deeply in love with a commoner… before cruel circumstance ripped the two of them apart. For years, Hiroto has searched for his beloved Mika to no avail— until a chance encounter on his college campus brings them together.But Kou, Mika's reincarnation, does not remember the past that share… and Hiroto finds himself wondering if that might actually be for the best, even as he yearns to tell Kou the truth. Their love has stretched across lifetimes, and so has the pain of their parting. Will Hiroto and Kou be able to find their happy ending together?
Number Call (manga) by Nagisa Furuya
High schooler Eighto Tachibana has always hated his name, including all of the jokes and puns about the number 8 that have come along with it. It's as if the number has haunted him like a ghost ever since he was a child. One day, he meets a classmate named Tomoya Hatta, aka Hachi--the Japanese word for “8.” What begins as casual greetings and small talk in the hallway soon becomes something much deeper, and Eighto realizes that it's more than just a similar nickname that draws him to Hachi. Could the number that Eighto resented for so long finally bring him something he'll love--and is that someone Hachi?
The Other World's Books Depend on the Bean Counter (manga) vol. 4 by Yatsuki Wakatsu, Kazuki Irodori and Kikka Ohashi
The expedition to clear the miasma is finally setting out-and Kondou is coming along with them! However, the depths of the forest are quite dangerous, even for the average human…Luckily, this intrepid bean counter has a handsome knight captain risking life and limb to protect him! But then, on their return journey, Captain Aresh catches him off guard with an unexpected declaration…
Rooming With My Two Lovers (manga) by Anji Seina
Atsushi's earnest and indecisive nature has gotten him into awkward situations before, but this one really takes the cake! Moving out of a bad situation and into a new living space, he somehow ends up rooming with his hot but perverted ex, Enraku, and the handsome and flirty barber, Shiki, two childhood friends and rivals who always end up falling for the same person.As the two take turns seducing him, Atsushi finds himself getting carried away with deep feelings for both men. But is it really possible for him to love Shiki and Enraku enough to keep them both?
Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi Collection (manga) vol. 7 by Naoko Takeuchi
Features the updated translation and high page count of the Sailor Moon Eternal Edition in a more affordable, portable edition. Perfect to go wherever you or the magical guardian in your life want to take it!
Thousand Autumns: Qian Qiu (novel) vol. 4 by Meng Xi Shi and Me.Mimo
Shen Qiao is a devout Daoist priest who has spent his life honing his skills and spirit, leading his sect with martial talent, beauty beyond measure, and an earnest heart. His polar opposite, Yan Wushi, leads one of the most powerful demonic sects and is said to be unrivaled in his strength and cunning. Yan Wushi believes in the inherently selfish nature of all people—himself included—and that nobody is above committing dark deeds for their own benefit.
When a fight leaves Shen Qiao injured, blind, and with hazy memories, Yan Wushi takes in the defeated sect leader with a dark plan: test the limits of the man’s patience and faith in others to lure him onto the demonic path. Little does he know that he is about to meet the first immovable force of his life, and that two hearts can connect in unexpected ways. With the passing of a thousand autumns, who can stay eternal?
Welcome Back, Alice (manga) vol. 6 by Shuzo Oshimi
Yohei, Kei and Yui are childhood friends and things get complicated when Yohei witnesses Kei and Yui in an intimate moment. But when unexpectedly Kei moves away and returns a few years later to reunite in high school, he seems to be a bit different. How will relationships change in this latest volume?
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Never get to hold you | Lee Haechan
Lee Haechan x female!reader x Lee Jeno
▸ Fluff, smut, angst? Haechan is poor
▸ Part of To All the Members I’ve Loved Before: Dear 127, hosted by me
Summary: Growing up in a fucked up household, Haechan has always been thankful for his friend Jeno for treating him like his real brother. From giving him food, to letting him stay in their big house, to lending him money for school. Jeno has always been an angel. Until one day, Haechan found another angel, you. Finally his life is now brighter than ever… but not for long, because Jeno likes you too. Will Haechan let this once in a lifetime love slip and give you to his true friend who’s always been nice to him? Or will he be selfish?
Work count: 6k flat amazing
Warnings: Smut, toxic household, mentions of parents fighting, Haechan is poor here, if you are not okay with the idea please click away. Unprotected sex, couch sex, mentions of rough sex, overstimulating, Haechan smoked one cigarette, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of Haechan’s sister, break up, slight cheating? but not really
A/N: Pure fiction. Haechan’s character here is inspired by Justin Fooley from 13 reasons why. And the friendship is inspired by Bryce and Justin’s friendship. hehe. Originally this is a cheating au, but I’ve been writing a lot of cheating au so.... lets do the right thing for now. HAHA. also I did not include a lot of smut just because it doesn’t fit the story so i hope you understand that and still enjoy reading this. <3
A peaceful night that’s what Haechan longs for. A night free from the screaming and shouting of his parents, the glass shattering and never-ending blaming. He turns the volume up of the song he’s listening to from his mp3 player, closed his eyes, and tried sleeping. It’s not calming or whatsoever but it’s better than hearing the bickering.
For Haechan, sleep does not fix anything but it sure does make him feel better once he wakes up and finally faces another fun day in school. Yes. That’s right, Haechan loves going to school for it makes him feel like he’s a normal person. Not everyone in school knew how fucked up his life is and that’s another thing why he loves going to school. School and his friends have been his escape.
“You’re coming tonight right?” Jeno sneaks from behind and swings an arm on his best friend.
“Of course I’ll be there. I have to drive your drunk ass home-“ Haechan jokes but he was soon interrupted by something so unfortunate.
His shoes gave up on him.
“I think I should go and get this fixed before class starts. Not again,” Haechan said, stopping to remove his worn-out shoes and check them further while Jeno watch him.
“I have my Balenciaga shoes in my locker I don’t use that anymore. If you don’t want to keep it or accept it, at least use it for the day,” Jeno smiles at his friend and pats his back. But before Haechan could even say no to his best friend, Jeno is long gone for the school bell rang already.
Every since Haechan is new in town, Jeno has been a good friend to him. Both very different boys but they are brothers by heart and got each other’s back. For Haechan, Jeno is an angel to which he almost feels bad for not giving something in return for all the things Jeno gave him. Not just material things but Jeno offers financial help to Haechan too, in fact, Jeno is the reason why Haechan’s mother got a job at a store Mrs. Lee owns.
So you see, being a loyal and true friend is the only thing Haechan can give in return for now.
After school, Haechan fixed his wretched shoes before going to his part-time job. There, while he looks over the convenience store, he does his homework on the side and makes sure that he studies in advance so he can get closer to the college and scholarship that he’s aiming for and finally get out of this hell hole.
“You like studying so much?”
A voice made him drop his pen and went to work immediately. Punching the cashier and putting the stuff you bought in a plastic bag with a shy smile. A shy smile that miraculously lights up your day, he’s like a sun you thought.
“College. You’re new here right? I saw you earlier with the student body president. I’ve been there, being new in town will get easier... with the right people” Haechan says.
“Well, I had a bad first day, but thank you.... Hyuck. It’s great to know that eventually, everything will get better ” you read his name tag and smiled so sweetly at him. Oh, you wish it’s not obvious that you’re flirting.
When you left you’re all he could think of. He can’t stop thinking about your smile, how it’s obvious that you’re flirting with him but he thinks you’re so cute rather than flirty, he even beats himself up for not asking your name and making you stay longer.
As he walks his way home under a quiet night and with nothing in his head but your smile, he replays his only memory of you in his head while smiling alone and looking like a complete idiot. But when he was just a few walks from his house, he hears the screaming and shouting again.
He ran towards the door and straight to his sister’s room, not giving a fuck about why his parents are fighting. He hugs his little sister who’s in tears and basically shaking from fear, keeping her close to him to let her know that he is here now. And this is the sadness and reality he had to face every day.
“You scared?” He whispers but his face shows no fear to show his sister that his big brother is ready to protect her.
“Where were you?” She whines and snuggles to her brother more.
“I was at work, sorry. You know something wonderful happened to me today,” Haechan ready himself to tell his sister how you two met for the first time. She has always loved Hyuck’s stories and she’s always interested in the people his brother is friends with, especially Jeno.
“Well, why didn’t you ask her name? Will you see her again?” She asks eagerly. “I want more stories about her, she sounds sweet even though your conversation was too short”
“Yeah I know. Maybe I can talk to her by Monday and tell her, ‘hey my little sister wants us to be friends’” he jokes.
And so the night went on, exchanging stories with his sister until his parents stopped fighting and eventually his sister fell asleep in his arms. To be honest, he didn’t want to leave his sister alone after what happened tonight, but he promised Jeno that he will be there so he needs to be there.
Going to Jeno’s birthday celebration in a bar downtown is the last thing he wants to do after having a hard night. The bar was loud, packed, and it’s giving him a headache. So he promised himself that he will stay here for half an hour only, which did not happen because his heart feels heavy.
So he went out to have a cigarette and to clear his mind, having a debate with his conscience whether he’s going back in or not.
“The answer is no,” you said from behind which made him turn immediately and face you. “I’m watching you for a few minutes already and your feet is obviously hesitating to go back inside”
“It’s that obvious? Am I really that easy to read?” he takes one final hit from his cigarette before he throws it away. You nod with a smile to answer his question. It’s obvious that you’re happy to see each other again. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s cold out here,” he would give you his jacket if only he’s wearing one right now but he’s not.
“Everyone is loud inside and I feel like I’ve had enough of the screaming and overflowing booze, you know?” You answered awkwardly. Little did you know that Haechan feels the exact same thing. “But I should probably go and not ruin the silence here too so-“
“I can’t stop thinking about you” Haechan finally blurted out. He didn’t mean to but those are the words that came out from his mouth the moment he saw you turn and was about to walk away. “I don’t even know your name but my sister thinks your cool” he added, trying to sound fun and interesting. Heck, he’s trying to make you stay.
And it's working.
“You have a sister and you told her about me?” Haechan nods with a shy smile, “Well what did you tell her?” You asked with a flirty tone.
“I told her that I’ve never seen a smile so beautiful and that I feel stupid for not asking your name” he shamelessly flirts and came closer to you, making your heart beat faster and making you really nervous.
“Take me some somewhere quiet and I’ll tell you my name” you flirted back.
And without any second thoughts, he brought you to a place where you two can laugh out loud freely, and there's no loud music to bother the moment. You introduced yourself and all he did was giggle and tell you that his little sister will be happy about this. Haechan made you laugh nonstop, telling you the happy memories he holds dear and even small parts about his life, without fooling you and making you think that he’s someone else.
Now that he gets the chance to talk to you again, he wanted to embrace you while he pours all his honesty to you and hopes that you don’t mind liking someone fucked up like him. But Haechan thought that telling you that he’s poor as a rat on your first night together is not something worth staying for, so he shrugged it off and continue asking more about you.
Until you both lost track of time and he offered to walk you home, which you think it’s sweet.
“Do you want to have some water first, before you go? It’s a long way back. M-my parents are not home so no need to be shy,” you offered with a hint of other intentions that he surely understood. And thankfully he accepted.
The moment you closed the door, he stopped you from opening the lights, his hands are on your face and your lips touched immediately. Returning the kiss without hesitation, heads turning continuously and both tongues are wanting for something more.
You motion him to the couch and push him until he falls on the cushions and let out a quiet giggle. It was a pity that you wouldn’t see his bright smile. “You okay with this?” he slips his hand inside your shirt and smoothly removed it.
“More than okay,” you said and started to undo his belt and remove his pants. Soon, you’re both wearing only your underwear while grinding on top of each other. Shy to make a move but your kisses and moans say otherwise. You’re the one who initiates it this time, unclasping your bra and making him knead and cup your boobs shamelessly.
“Do I need a condom?” he asks, removing his boxers brief, throwing it on the floor, and immediately slipped his hand inside your panties while you’re on top of him kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.
You moaned softly when his fingers made contact with your very wet slit and told him, “No. But pull out?” he nods and told you he will. And because of that assurance, you finally removed your panties and went on top of him.
“It’s hard to pull out if you’re going to be on top, maybe next time?” He says and effortlessly switched your positions, putting him on top of you. He pulls away for a second and pumped his cock in between your opened legs, came in closer to kiss you before he pushes his in.
His kisses were gentle and sweet like he’s not about you fuck you in the next few seconds. But when he finally lined his cock and slowly thrust in, both of you moaned and forgot that you were kissing for a second. Sharp gasps escaped your mouth while delicious groans escaped from his. Slowly he takes his time pushing in and out without thrusting all the way, which surely builds the momentum and it definitely made you want more of him.
“I’ll go deeper” thankfully he noticed and pushed in finally. Thrusting a little bit quicker than earlier while his fingers are busy drawing circles on your clit.
Soon, you’re both on edge. Too shy to admit it but you can’t stop clenching and unclenching around him, “Stop doing that,” he says and kissed your neck, bitting the shell of your ear to hear you giggle while he makes you moan deliciously.
He came first as expected because you can’t stop moaning behind his ears and making him feel good with your tight walls. He shoots his cum on your stomach, away from your pussy while his other hand is continuously drawing fast circles and making you cum in no time.
You shivered like crazy and tried closing your legs but Haechan got a hold of it and overstimulated you.
“Wild-brutal, that’s you” you said while you continue to shiver, curl yourself in a ball and beg him to stop.
He kisses your body, avoiding his cum but still managed to suck your nipples good as you come down from your high. When you’re finally calm, you reached for the tissue on the coffee table to wipe yourself clean but he snatched the tissue from your hand and did it himself. After that, you moved your body and make room on the small couch so he can lie beside you, using his arms as your pillow, keeping you close to his sweaty body.
“You’re the second girl I kept in my arms tonight,” he says softly. Looking into your eyes directly. You know that it's his sister and it made you smile and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Can you keep it that way then?” you said, softly like how he spoke. He nods and tightens his hug.
“To be honest I feel like I’m a slut right now because I slept with you first... on my first day of school, my first day of meeting you-“
“Sssh. You think too much. You’re not a slut. I like you, you like me. It’s a normal reaction” he kisses your lips and your cheeks one too many times to make you giggle and eventually let go of your thoughts. “I have to go back to my friends” he added.
“What- No, stay, please. My parents wouldn’t mind” you begged but he shook his head and got up from his comfort.
“I’ll find you again”
“Well give me your phone” you said, eager to make him stay. Eager to stay in his life.
“I don’t have one because I can’t afford one” Haechan was shy to tell you the truth but he didn’t want to lie to you. But of course, you understand him instead of prying. You sat up, kissed him sweetly and told him,
“It’s fine. You know where I live, so we're going to do this old school then” you giggle and make the most of the few minutes you have with him. He reached for your panties and helped you wear them together with your shirt, leaving a soft kiss on your lower abdomen.
“Is that fine? Going old school?” He asks smiling and asking for another kiss.
“More than fine, that means I get to see you always” he giggled and told you that’s right and continued wearing the rest of his clothes.
The next day, Haechan woke up with a smile on his face by just merely thinking about you and thinking of going to your house tonight and surprise you after he hangs out with Jeno at the amusement park.
As his day went on with his best friend, all he thinks about is you. Did you eat already, how was your sleep, do you think of him, and what are you doing now? These are questions that he wanted to ask you because he misses you already, but also, these are the questions that attracted the universe into putting you both in the same place.
Just a few minutes ago, Haechan is thinking about you but now you’re right in front of him... with a blindfold at The Kissing Booth and about to kiss Jeno.... Jeno of all people.
There, Haechan stood and watch you and Jeno kiss in front of the audience. Watching your friends take a video and giggle as much as they want because you have no idea who you’re kissing right now. Oh they would kill to be in your position and taste Jeno’s lips. While you... you think about the gentleman who made you laugh over and over again last night, the gentleman who’s honest about everything, and the gentleman who made you feel good on your family couch last night.
And when you removed your blindfold, you can’t help but feel disappointed. It’s not Haechan you’re kissing, he hasn’t found you again.
When Jeno came closer and attempted to kiss you again, you pushed him away in front of many people, smiled and whispered, “We had our fun already, I think that’s enough. Sorry, I was hoping you’d be someone else” and came down from the stage to join your friends.
The disappointment in Jeno’s face was evident. He felt like he violated you or something and wanted to apologize further but you didn’t give him a chance. He saw Haechan standing in the corner with a soda in his hand and joined him, “That was something. I feel like I was taken to another dimension while I was kissing her. Damn I like her already” Jeno admits, having no clue that Haechan knows exactly what he’s talking about.
“Hey.... Haechan” you taped his shoulder which made him and Jeno turn around. You didn’t want to be bold and flirty with him in front of his friend so you just said hey.
Jeno was shocked to the core when you approached his friend and not him, and he was even more shocked to see you smile so sweetly at Haechan. “You know each other?” he asks you both nervously.
“Yes”
“No”
“N-no. Not really. Dude, everyone knows her. New girl in town plus she came by the store during my shift yesterday after school” Haechan explains. Completely denying that you two shared something special the other night.
Good thing Jeno believed and accepted Haechan’s explanation, so this time he didn’t waste any more time and shoot his shot. “I want to apologize to you. Can we go for a walk? Alone together-“
“Good idea man. I think I should go. I have a shift at the store, s-see you at school. B-both of you,” he says and awkwardly walks out and left you with Jeno.
You wanted to follow him, you would rather want to watch him work at the store than be with Jeno and waste your time strolling around the park, you’ve been wanting to be with him ever since you opened your eyes this morning and now you can’t believe that he denied you in front of his friend.
The whole time he was walking in circles around his neighborhood, Haechan can’t stop thinking about you and Jeno. Even hating the universe more for making him and Jeno like the same girl. Fuck, he murmured frustratingly until he came to a thought that maybe life brought you to Haechan’s life so he could finally give something back to his best friend.
Maybe he’s doing the right thing by letting you and Jeno get to know each other.
“You’re a fool,” his sister teases him while he watches her brush her teeth. Haechan just snorted and let out a small laugh knowing that his little sister is smart and that she’s growing up wise.
“But when you grow old you can’t just commit to something or someone if you know to yourself that you can’t. Be honest,” he kisses her sister good night and tucked her to bed. Wishing for her sister to grow up strong and smart, and not like him.
///
After a few weeks of seeing Jeno and going out on dates with him, you force yourself to think that what happened between you and Haechan is just a one time thing. That you were just horny teenagers that night who both had a bad day that’s why you thought it was something special.
It’s not that you’re using Jeno to forget Haechan, but Jeno is the one making his moves and trying so hard to impress you. He’s almost as nice as Haechan you thought. Maybe that’s why they’re best friends, and maybe that’s why now you look forward to seeing Jeno every day because you see Haechan in him.
Until one night, you and Jeno had a rather hot night that leads you two to his bed. Sex with Jeno is rough and fast and to be honest you forgot how many condoms he used because the sex was that good. And in that very moment, you realized that the only difference between Jeno and Haechan is the way they fuck. Jeno made you forget Haechan whenever you two are in bed and that made you want Jeno to fuck you more each day.
But Jeno is a natural sweetheart, a lover boy who shows you that he is a great man and a good person. “I know we fuck too much and it's obvious that something is bothering you” he says, hugging you closely while you’re on top of him after a very good car sex. “You can tell me, you know?” he added but you just shook your head no. “Okay okay, I understand. I love you. Whatever you’re going through or whatever that’s bothering you, continue to lean on me. Use me if you must,”
And right then and there, you decided to return the love Jeno is giving you.
It was not easy but it was worth it. Jeno loved you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You spend your senior year together, made memories each day, have good sex after school or during weekends, be the life of the party together, and meet each other’s family.
“Are you happy with me?” he whispers behind your ear while he hugs you from behind.
“What kind of question is that?” you said, turning around to meet his eyes and rake his hair away from his face. Not giving a fuck about the people watching you two flirt in the middle of a crowded place with drunk teenagers.
“Just a question. My way of checking if I’m still a good boyfriend” he admitted shyly. You rolled your eyes and came closer to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips which soon became heated and his hands roamed freely around your body.
“Mhmm. I'm happy, I love you” you whisper and you mean it.
“I love you too” he smiles and continues the kiss.
And while you two are in your own private world minding your business, Haechan watches from afar with a beer in his hand. Jealous, but not mad. Happy, but for you and his best friend. You deserve each other, he thought.
So as you and Jeno make your relationship strong and pour all your love on each other, Haechan became even more hardworking, focused more on his studies, and looking for more jobs to save more money. It was his way of forgetting you.
During a party that Jeno threw in his house, everything was intensely wild and everyone got drunk during the party, except Haechan because he was late due to his shift from one of his part-time job.
He saw you laughing with your friends near the poolside. You look beautiful tonight, as always. And at the same time, you look drunk already and all he wanted to do is take care of you but that’s not his job.
“Great that you’re here man, ugh. I’m so drunk” Jeno whines, almost about to throw but he’s still in control. “Here. Promised her dad I’d bring her home, but obviously, I can’t now. I can’t drive while I’m like this, knowing that she’s in the car with me. Too risky. Please dude, thank you”
And just like that, the responsibility and the power to take care of you is passed unto him.
“Baby, Haechan will bring you home- I can’t drive” Jeno admitted to you. Giving you his jacket before he walks you towards his car.
“W-what? Let me stay then, I’ll take care of you. Then you can drive me home when you’re sober” you said but your boyfriend said no and told you you’re as drunk as him. So you didn’t have a choice but to go inside the car with Haechan. He watched you two kiss goodbye and say your I love yous with each other before he drives away and takes you home.
The drive was silent. You didn’t dare to open your mouth and ask how he’s been, he didn’t dare to open his mouth and tell you that you’re beautiful. And it stayed like this until he reaches your house and parked in front of it.
“Do you remember the night that you walked me home?” you started, and you think it’s the alcohol that's talking. Haechan just nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t flirt back then and went back inside that bar instead of asking you to take me somewhere quiet” you admitted, feeling your heart break but you can finally breathe better now that you told him what you really feel. But deep inside you didn’t mean it. You’re just saying that because you’re still mad at him for denying you.
He unbuckles his seatbelt and reached for you, shamelessly hugging you, and placed a sweet kiss on your temple. You feel his tears and that made you hug him back. Staining his shirt with your tears that you kept for months.
“I’m sorry. I can’t give you what Jeno can give you. My life is a mess, I’m a trash and you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, I can’t” he hugged you a little bit tighter to let you know that he’s sincere. And after a few minutes of silence, he explained his part to you and you listened attentively not because he owes you an explanation but because you miss his voice.
“When I was new here, bullies just won't stop teasing me, then Jeno became my friend and suddenly they all stopped. Jeno didn’t mind if I’m poor, he just wanted a brother and found it in me. That’s why whenever I’m in need he’s always to the rescue, my books, my mother’s job, this Rolex watch that I only use whenever I need it at work. I remember he gave this to me because he didn’t want to give me cash because he was afraid that will make me feel small. So instead he gave me this watch and expected me to pawn it. But I can’t because it’s like a token of our friendship”
“I get it. Bro code” you said calmly and watch him nod. “But who are you to tell me who to love. My heart still belongs to you when Jeno was courting me, I think about you when he kisses me-“
“Do you still feel the same way?” he blurted out, looking at your lips and thinking of kissing it one last time before you have your closure. But he won't.
“I love Jeno but you still have this great effect on me, you still have my heart” you admitted.
“I’m sure you understand me now. Why I don’t want to hurt my friend” you nod because you do understand him, you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend either, “He’s an angel” Haechan added.
When Haechan left and drove away, you feel like he took your heart away with him. Like that one specific night you had sex with him and you didn’t want him to go. You know what you said. You don’t want to hurt Jeno and you do love him, but what can you do? Your heart still belongs to Haechan.
After that understanding with Haechan, you suddenly became cold towards Jeno and all you could think about is Haechan. Obviously, Jeno can see right through you. He knows you, whenever something troubles you, you will keep it to yourself and you won’t tell it to him. So he made a way to cheer you up, but it ended up annoying you.
He invited you to his house to have a sleepover and movie night with him. The thing is, Jeno knew you love having sex with him so the moment you two are alone in his room with all the lights off and only his big flat-screen TV is on, he tried putting you in the mood and became way too touchy.
“Stop” you whine as Jeno starts kissing your neck while his hands roam free around your body. It feels good you can’t lie, but you’re not in the mood so you pushed him a little too hard which made him even more frustrated.
“What did I do wrong? I wish you could open up to me more, Y/n” he gets up from his bed and gave you space. “You’ve been like that for days and days already, I don’t know if I did something wrong. Baby, just tell me. I’ll fix it,”
And there it is. Your very reason why you loved him “Why do you have to be so nice?” you murmur and sat beside him. You knew that this isn’t the right time to tell him about Haechan, but he asked what's bothering you so you’re going to tell him the truth and do the right thing. Bravely, you told him every inch of your feelings, the truth about you and Haechan, and hopes that he will not get mad at you or his friend.
He listened. While Holding your hand. Close to tears but he won’t cry in front of you. Not yet. But now that he knows the truth about you and his best friend, he felt like he stole you from him.
“Don’t be mad at him, he just feels obligated to give back to all the kindness you have done to him and his family” you wait for his reaction. You expect him to get mad or throw a fit but all he did was kiss your knuckles, hold them tightly, and kept you close while he can.
“So what now? Do you need time? Space even? It hurts like hell, I must admit but I can’t force you to stay” he says, with tears in his eyes and trying so hard to look strong.
“I need space from the both of you, choosing is not easy. I don’t want to hurt you in the future Jeno” you said.
“I can’t force you to stay, but I can beg right? I love you-“ He cups your face and leaves too many kisses on your lips, saying he loves you over and over again, begging you to please choose him.
“I’m sorry Jeno, please don’t beg. You don’t deserve this,” you made him stop begging and pull him into a tight hug. Inviting him to come to bed with you and savor this night together while you can because, on the next day, you will leave him.
///
When you broke up with Jeno and focused all your energy on school, you walk almost every day from school to your house just so you can sort out your thoughts.
Jeno stopped begging you to come back after a few months and got himself a new girlfriend while Haechan… well, he’s doing his best with avoiding you. Still, breaking up with Jeno is a wise decision because now it’s clear that you don’t love him like how you love and long for Haechan.
“Fuck” you curse at the rain for pouring out of nowhere and you have no choice but to enter the store that Haechan is looking after. Just like the rain, you came out of nowhere and shock him. But shocking him and ruining his peace was not your intention, you’re just waiting for the rain to stop so you can go and walk again.
Shivering because of the store’s air conditioning, you hug yourself to keep yourself warm in every way you can but it’s not enough. You tried going out again but the rain kept pouring and it started to rain hard again when you tried and open the door. But then you heard the sound of the air conditioning being turned off, and Haechan is behind you holding the remote and some extra clothes.
“You’ll get sick if you stay wet. Here-“ he awkwardly hands you an extra shirt and his hoodie, “You can change back there. There’s no one else in this store except me,” he says and points at the door for the staff room. Of course you accepted his offer and you’re happy that he still cares.
When you got back, you saw him preparing you a hot drink and made you sit on one of the vacant chairs. “How are you?” he asks, stirring the drink and puts it in front of you carefully.
“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. How about you? How's your sister?”
“I’m doing good too. And my sister is fine”
And after that, an awkward silence made you both giggle and feel shy about being alone in this cold store. But not for long. Haechan initiated the conversation and made small talk with you. If he’s being honest right now, he doesn’t want you to shut up. He wanted you to talk and talk freely without being shy… like that first night you spend together.
When the rain stopped, he walked you home again and you both enjoyed the cool breeze and wet street. Admiring the calmness that the rain brought. “Why did you avoid me? After me and Jeno broke up?” you asked calmly.
“I know we learned the hard way and we’ve been through some stuff” he came closer and put strands of your hair behind your ear, “I’ve been helping myself to be better for you so this time I won’t fuck us up, and I wasn’t avoiding you. I’m giving you time to heal” he smiles and looked into your eyes deeply.
“Can we start again?” he finally blurted out. “This is my final attempt on keeping you, and… I just want to fight for you this time”
The rain was a blessing after all. You don’t know if the rain was a sign of starting over again but you’re glad that you decided to walk today and got soaked in the rain and did not have a choice but to enter that convenience store. But you’re happy that the rain brought you back together, so you hugged him tightly as your answer and warned him with all your might.
“If I wake up tomorrow and you deny me again, I swear Lee Haechan-“
And just like that, he cuts you off with a kiss, an act of promise so you won’t need to worry for the next day. “My sister will kill me if I let go of you again” he giggles and continue kissing you.
Who would have thought that you need only the rain for you and Haechan to get back together? Because after that night, he kept his promise to you. He never left your side and you never left his. Life wasn’t easy for him still, but you made sure you stayed with him through thick and thin.
Even though Haechan can’t bring you to expensive dates or movie dates, being with him while he’s working at the convenience store is more than enough for you. “I love my job. I can earn money while having a study date with you in this cold store” he says, kissing your temple while you’re busy reading and studying beside him.
Your remaining high school days were full of him and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.
After graduation, you and Haechan planned on living together even though you’re both going to different schools, thankfully your schools aren’t that far from each other. Living together is not easy, your parents warned you. But Haechan made it easy for you because he loves you so much. Nonetheless, you would still choose a hard life with and just so you could be together the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them to end your day at night.
“It's you and me from now on, Y/n” he whispers beside your ear, hugging you from behind so tightly like you’re going somewhere and finally kiss you good night.
MAIN MASTERLIST
FAQ / WIPS / CALENDAR
ABOUT B
To this blog’s audience, please do not steal my works save yourself from the shame. Do not translate my works, they’re not worthy. Also if you see someone who stole my work, kindly reach out to me.
#nct-writers#kdiner#kpopscape#cznnet#neowritingsnet#neosmutcollective#kwritersworldnet#nct smut#haechan smut#haechan#lee donghyuck#haechan x reader#haechan fluff#haechan angst#lee haechan x reader#nct dream smut#nct imagines#nct scenarios#fullsun
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Peter Maximoff’s complicated relationship with Star Wars
Summary: Peter didn't like Star Wars. But not because they were bad movies, no. It's because they somehow were very similar to his own life, and they also showed him what might have been, had his twin lived long enough. This is the story of Peter Maximoff, told through the many similarities between the original trilogy and his own life.
*All Star Wars quotes are in italics*
Peter doesn’t like Star Wars
Don’t get him wrong, the movies are great. The first movie had come out when he was 22 years old, and he had found it amazing. He had never seen anything like it before and had sneaked into the movie theater to rewatch it with his twin several times.
‘I need your help, Luke.’
It was almost ironic how his life resembled some parts of the movie. Both he and Wendy had some characteristics of Luke and Leia. He was the goofball, the one who had been recruited to break someone out of an impenetrable prison. Hell, Charles could be Obi-Wan, the old wizard with strange mind control powers (though he didn’t have them at the time), Hank was Chewbacca, the fierce beast who was loyal to his family, and then the claw guy, Logan, was Han Solo. The dark-haired man with a don’t-mess-with-me attitude that would shoot you down without hesitation. That made him Luke, the farm boy that was raised isolated, unaware of the true danger. Only difference was that Erik wasn’t Leia, no he was Vader. Wendy was Leia, the fierce, loud mouthed, badass princess that didn’t let anyone boss her around.
They had loved the first movie, but then tragedy struck. His twin’s powers were always unpredictable, always on the verge of lashing out. He had tried to help as much as he could, but just a few months after their 23rd birthday, it was too much for Wendy to bear. She lost control and died, taking half a block with her. Peter did his best to carry on, but their lost connection was all he could feel. The aching emptiness that had always been occupied by his twin sister. It took awhile, but he did eventually go see the second Star Wars. It was... a bittersweet experience to say the least.
Seeing the big bad Vader being related to Luke really did a number on him. All he could think about was the fact that he too was related to a literal terrorist. Someone who had hurt hundred of people and would probably not hesitate to hurt him as well. And then it was revealed that Luke and Leia shared a connection, where they could hear each other and feel each other, and it just overwhelmed him. Minus the kissing (ew, that was gross, why did they even include that?!) Luke and Leia’s relationship reminded him of his and Wendy’s.
That’s why he wasn’t surprised when they were revealed to be twins in the next movie.
Actually, he had been surprised, but more about the fact that his grief took over for a moment. Seeing Leia try to reason with Luke, telling him that nothing good would come out of chasing Vader, their father... that was a conversation that had really happened after their mom told them who exactly was Magneto. Peter had decided to chase Erik down the moment he had resurfaced.
‘I won't fail - I'm not afraid.’
‘Oh, you will be. You will be.’
His mom had warned him about Magneto, how nothing good came out of chasing ghosts, but he had to try. A confrontation with the Dark Lord of the Sith.
Cloud city The mansion was full of people, and the place was exploding. He saved them all (minus one), of course, because that’s what he did. Why be a speedster if you can’t save people from catastrophe?
‘Luke, don't - it's a trap!’
Yeah, it had been a trap, alright. But unlike Luke, he hadn’t had Leia to warn him. So, the carbon freezing chamber knock out gun had worked. That’s how he ended up captured by the government and woke up in a weird green room. The others, he could understand why they were taken, they seemed to know the man holding them, but why him? Peter was of no interest to them. Unless they knew he was related to Magneto and planned to use him as a bargaining chip, but it seemed unlikely.
Then, they were freed and, on their way to confront En Sabah Nur, or as Hank had described him, the blue god. He had told Raven about his relationship with Erik, and she promised him that she would make sure she would tell him.
‘There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you.’
The cold, cold eyes of Magneto were staring at him with something that seemed almost like interest. “And you?”
‘I am your father.’
It was right there, a perfect opportunity served on a silver platter. An opportunity to make Erik realize he wasn’t alone, that he had more family. Perhaps he’d turn back to the light side if he knew. “I’m your-“
But it was Wendy who was the brave one, she was the chosen one. She never would have hesitated. And he wasn’t his sister. “I’m here for my family too.”
It was all sad and tragic because his life was just like that. He could feel Raven’s eyes on him, she couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told him, but she couldn’t know about Wendy. It was his own painful secret.
With how similar his life was to Luke’s he wasn’t sure why he was even surprised when he got his hand cut off leg broken. Then, there he was, trying to hold on to consciousness as shock settled into his body.
‘Hear me! Leia!’
Oh, how he wished Wendy were here. She would have destroyed them. Peter would have done anything for his twin to answer, like Leia did with Luke. But she was dead, there was no one to answer him. Just the cobwebs of their broken connection and the burning pain of his leg. He didn’t really care what happened next, he was all too focused on getting his message to his long-lost sister. He didn’t really believe in a higher power, of some all-powerful entity that somehow watched over everyone. He did, however, believe in Wendy, his strong, beautiful, powerful sister.
‘I would have preferred her too’
The blue God’s voice resonated in his head, catching him off guard. No one had ever reached in his mind like that, Wendy only could because of their connection.
‘If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.’
Would his father have tried recruiting Wendy for his brotherhood? Yeah, definitely. She would have been the true last hope. A daughter to be proud about. One with abilities beyond anything anyone had ever seen. One that truly would have saved everyone, hell, she would have prevented the mansion from exploding and never would have been captured in the first place. The blue god looked at him with disdain in his eyes and Peter knew it didn’t mean anything good. He tried to crawl away, but in his current position, that did absolutely nothing.
‘It is pointless to resist, my son.’
En Sabah Nur grabbed him by the hair and tugged, holding him painfully upright and vulnerable. He’d always hated staying still, he was always too full of energy, always eager to chase after the next distraction.
Peter looked up at his father, trying to see if he would do anything, but he saw nothing but indifference. Magneto didn’t care about him. He was an insignificant mutant, a face amongst a thousand others. Soon to be counted amongst the hundred of corpses that Erik had seen in his life.
‘Now, young Skywalker...you will die.’
The god pulled his head back sharply, exposing his throat. “End him.”
One of his horsemen was approaching him with a sharp sword. Peter was slightly thankful that it wasn’t his dad that was chosen to be his executioner. His powers had kicked in, trying to give him an opportunity to escape. But it only made his imminent doom even worse.
Then, he didn’t die, and the hope of seeing his twin again was brushed aside for another near-death situation. As it turned out, Raven was a great person when the son of her friend was in danger.
En Sabah Nur let him go too quickly to focus on the blue mutant. He gasped and writhed as he fell to the ground as electricity pain coursed through his body. The blue god didn’t care about him, he continued calling for Charles, calling for his true target.
‘Father! Help me!’
He should cry out like Luke did, there was no way Magneto would act if he didn’t. Then again, he didn’t have a clue who he was. It was doubtful he remembered him from the Pentagon, it had been nearly 10 years and Erik had had a whole other family since. He was just the nameless idiot that got a big head and tried to take on a god and got defeated like a loser.
In the end, they were all fine, just a little shaken. Erik gave him a weird look, either he pitied him, or he was wondering what he had wanted to tell him. But Peter was on the verge of passing out, there was no way he could hold a conversation at the moment. They came back to the mansion and Peter decided to stay, maybe getting out of his isolation wouldn’t be so bad.
So, even if his life was similar to Star Wars, in its turns and tragedy, it wasn’t even close to how the trilogy ended. The scruffy Han never came back, Obi-wan wasn’t next to a redeemed Anakin (he just left all together) and Leia wasn’t at his side anymore. A happy ending wasn’t something that happened in real life. Everything he wanted resolved wasn’t wrapped neatly into a bow. He still had his loads of daddy issues caused by a father who didn’t know was a father and Wendy, his amazing long gone twin still wasn’t at his side. Peter figured that some good would eventually come to him, it couldn’t be all bad, right?
‘This is our most desperate hour.’
He had faith in that, so, when he was woken up by a burning sensation in his chest, he did his best to understand. The pain was so familiar, it was grief. But not his grief, no, this came from the connection he shared with his twin.
“Wanda?” he called out. Using her real name because she was calling to him. Because she needed him. Because she was somewhere all alone.
“I had a brother, his name was… Pietro.”
It was painful for her to talk about him, so he made sure to let her know through their bond that he was there for her, she just had to reach out. Wanda was confused to feel him, but her scarlet magic soon opened a portal. It might be a trap, there was no way to be certain, but Peter trusted his sister. He took and deep breath and ran into the portal without hesitation. She was alone and she was suffering, it was his job as her twin to help her.
‘Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.’
#peter maximoff#pietro maximoff#Erik Lehnsherr#star wars#marvel#x men#marvel fanfiction#x men fanfiction#quicksilver#wendy maximoff#wanda maximoff#x men apocalypse#Charles Xavier#Evan Peters#Michael Fassbender#dadneto#wandavision
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Azkaban Can't Keep Us Apart
🌙 Hello! Well, this is a fic I'm very excited to be posting. We're back in the Marauder's Era today with some key future events, however, there's a twist.
This fic was inspired by a TikTok that my friend Hex sent to the discord and it just would not leave my head so, I'll link it here for you to watch if you want to see inspiration!
It's a little angsty at first, but don't worry, there's fluff! I promise!
Anyways, I hope you enjoy! You can also find this fic on Ao3! here’s the link if you prefer to read there 🌙
.
Yorkshire, England. 1982.
Ultimately, the plan was simple in theory.
Break into Azkaban unnoticed.
Find Sirius’ cell and destroy the lock.
Avoid the Dementors.
Escape the prison in the middle of the sea.
And find a safe place to hide until proof of Sirius’ innocence is uncovered.
Executing this plan, however, is much more complicated.
Even though breaking an inmate free from his cell is incredibly illegal, he was also attempting to break in and escape what was considered an inescapable prison. Not to mention, any word that a werewolf accomplished this— would practically lead to his execution.
Consequences be damned, Remus didn’t care. He was not going to let Sirius grow mad inside those dreary walls. It wasn’t fair for him, neither was it fair for Harry. James wouldn’t have wanted his brother locked away.
It’s been three days. Three full days since Halloween. Without hearing the joyful laughter of the Marauders altogether. Without Sirius by his side. Some said that the Marauder’s friendship was unbreakable, that not even death could surpass it. In hindsight, it seemed almost a foolish belief.
There was still something that didn’t sit right with Remus, as there was no way the man he loved would have betrayed their old friends. It just doesn’t seem logical. Sirius was loyal to his friends, their found family. Especially James.
Was this the catalyst that led to Remus spending these past two days, when not caring for Harry, researching and planning a perfect escape?
He wouldn’t deny it.
Sooner than he would’ve liked, nightfall was upon him. And as Remus tucked Harry into his crib, keeping the nightlight on since the toddler was afraid of the dark, he only hoped that Harry wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares while he’s gone.
Mentally running through the detailed plan for the fiftieth time in what seemed to be the past hour, then subconsciously casting the necessary—albeit slightly altered— silencing and invisibility spells, and taking hold of the bag he packed in case of emergency, Remus knew he was ready. Now was the time.
With a crack and a pop, the warm cottage that he called home disappeared, and the cliffs of the North Sea were before him.
.
Azkaban, North Sea.
There was nothing warm or welcoming about where he now resided.
Three days had passed, at least that’s what he thought.
Today would be his birthday. And he wasn’t ever going to celebrate again.
Two of his best friends were dead, one of which was practically his brother, his godson —merlin he cannot even call the boy that anymore— will never have his parents, and the man he loved, now forever stuck alone with the living knowledge of his “betrayal” and forced to transform into a wolf every full moon.
Remus John Lupin, His Moony. Even thinking about what he must be feeling and has been going through the past three days makes his heart clench in longing. At least he has Harry now, but would the little boy be enough? He wished he could see him again, wished he could explain, maybe Remus doubted what happened, maybe he could’ve found out the truth.
But no. There’s no way…
Remus’ name echoes like a soft mantra within his head, in an effort for him to stay alive. To stay sane. To be a motivation for escape.
Re
Rem
Remus
Moony
Moons
Lupin
Remus
Rem
Re
For the first time in three days, he breaks down in silent tears, rather than the maniacal laughter that had graced the dreary walls of the prison. The sudden echoing sound of metal colliding harshly against the walls causes his head to snap up with a gasp.
.
There was nothing warm or welcoming about where Sirius now resided.
The exact opposite of Sirius himself, Remus noted.
Azkaban’s inner workings had been warded off against apparition, which was one particularly bothersome factor. And so, the rocky cliffs trembled beneath his feet from the sheer force of the dark precarious waves. Cascading amongst the sides of the triangular prison in a torrential storm. Ice-cold walls lined the dark and gloomy residence, whilst the broken desperate cries of inmates could be heard. The sweet release of death was coveted by many, but given to few.
Remus' heart sinks at the thought of Sirius being imprisoned for so long that he joins the cries. He could only imagine what sort of cruel memories the dementors would leave him with. How much happiness would be forever stolen, the light of it snuffed out into eternal darkness.
Time seemed endless, as he walked through the grim building— doing his best to ignore the sharpness in his ears, the dark magic seemingly etching to his skin. Through faint scent alone he tries to find Sirius’ cell. Until at last, he spots him. Crying near silent tears, it was heartbreaking to see the man he loved in this state. If only there was more he could’ve done three— no. He will not go down the path of guilt again.
This was it, he had to make it count.
Raising his wand, he quietly whispers silencio bombarda and casts in the direction of the cell door. The door slams open, the echoing sound of metal colliding harshly against the stone walls reverberating throughout the halls.
He watches Sirius’ head snap up, his mouth parting in a silent gasp of surprise. Despite the painful few days, he still looked the same. Medium length raven black hair, pale skin, and bright grey-blue eyes which shimmered with the lining of tears.
Sirius slowly stands, peeking out into the hall, “Who’s there..?”
Remus quickly removes the invisibility spell that has kept him hidden, and amber eyes meet wide grey-blue.
“...Remus?”
Remus smiles, and as if pulled by an invisible string, he finds himself enveloped in Sirius’ warmth. Familiar soft hands cup his cheeks, a thumb whipping away the tears he hadn’t realized had begun to fall.
“You’re real?! This isn’t a dream?!” Sirius whispers in shock.
Remus nods, unable to stop smiling, “I’m getting you out of here.” He chuckles quietly, “I’m sorry it took so long.”
Sirius shakes his head, touching his forehead to Remus’, “You’re here… you believe me? I swear Remus I- I wouldn’t ever betray our friends. I-”
Shushing him quietly, Remus briefly closes his eyes, unable to let this be a dream any further. This is reality. “I know, I know.”
Tensing, Remus catches the approaching sound of a dementor. So with great reluctance, he pulls away in favor of casting the invisibility spell again— when a hand covers his own.
“Don’t, I want to see you…”
Remus sighs softly, giving Sirius a comforting smile, “I’ll be right beside you.” He squeezes Sirius’ hand still in his own for emphasis.
With a pause, Sirius reluctantly nods, and suddenly he can no longer see himself nor Remus. A squeeze of his hand and pull of his arm, tying him back to reality. Time seemed endless, as they walked through the grim building. Each other’s presence is the only form of comfort.
When they reach the apparition point, Remus holds him close. Both reluctant to ever let go again. With a crack and a pop, the cliffs of the North Sea disappeared, and the warm cottage that he called home was before him.
.
Tag List:
@im-oknutzy-trash
@fleetingpieces
@whataboutmyfries
@heyitssmiller
@peggyrose19
#remus lupin#sirius black#remus x sirius#wolfstar#hurt/comfort#angst at the start#fluff later on#part two will be more fluffy i promise#i'm changing the narrative#this is my canon now#wolfstar will be raising harry#wolfstar adoptive parents#post first war#marauders era#azkaban#escaping azkaban#azkaban can't keep us apart
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Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs
just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others
this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved
pls tell me if the links don’t work
all of these are on ao3
rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags
ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising
T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU
Summary:
A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.
First work:
"Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."
Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.
"Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.
"Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."
~~
The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.
We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala
G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade
It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.
And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo
M\o\violence\19k\gods AU
Summary:
The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.
old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged
T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU
Summary of first work:
Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?
This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15
T\c\-\17k\series\sbi
Summary:
AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies
Summary of third part (my fav):
Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.
His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much
OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.
It's been a long day. by BecausePlot
G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo
Summary:
Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.
Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.
Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.
So are sides bad?
‘I don’t know.’
~*~
Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.
But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.
the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria
-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric
Summary:
Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.
tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria
-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric
Summary:
Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.
For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.
It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible
M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade
Summary:
A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.
(Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)
the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451
T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade
Summary:
He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-
Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.
He doesn’t expect to hit his target.
---
Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?
Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus
T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric
Summary:
“You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.
“He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.
“He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”
“Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”
---
Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.
Phil has a different plan.
(In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)
I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos
G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric
Summary:
manifestation: (n.)
1. an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;
2. a version or incarnation of something or someone;
3. an appearance of a ghost or spirit;
4. the Blood God.
When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.
Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.
the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4
T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric
Summary:
Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.
There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.
carry all my sins by BananasofThorns
T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric
Summary:
Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”
“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”
He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.
“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.
Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."
Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”
Rule 5: be loyal.
L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.
Sojourn by Lacy_Star
T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“
Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?
---
AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.
can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees
T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.
or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him
The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk
T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be.
“What’s your name?” Phil asked
“My… name?” The Blade asked.
“Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?”
The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.”
-------
When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.
This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER
T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.
A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg
T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”
That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?
Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.
Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.
They were there for him.
---
alternatively:
Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.
Meritocracy by oddsbodkins
G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU
Summary:
Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.
So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?
Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy
T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
These woods are lovely, dark, and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.
--
Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.
I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock
T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo
Summary:
An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.
Techno didn’t move.
It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.
Sheltered by Lulatic
G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade
Summary:
It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.
That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.
Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites
T\o\-\15k\series\sbi
Summary:
Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing
Summary of first part:
Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.
May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed
G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade
Summary:
“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”
---
Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.
leave me your starlight by findingkairos
T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza
Summary:
For you the world, Phil.
Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.
This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.
---
(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)
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Before Rewrite - Hades
*Spoilers for D3 rewrite~!!!! takes place from when Hades gets to the isle to the scene where Mal takes the ember from Hades!*
=
Hades cursed the rulers of Auradon every hour of every day for putting him on this wretched isle of filth and trash. He was a god! The god of the undead, the underworld! He was a crucial player in the mortal's circle of life; without him, there would be no place for souls to go, Thanatos would harvest them but with no one to claim them; they would wander around the lands forever.
He could already sense the disturbed souls, miserably watching their families walk by, or through them. All alone with no one to turn to and nowhere to go.
He had only been here for two weeks and he was already sick of it; he may have never liked it but his job was important and he needed to get back to work
-
Two weeks and four days…that's all it took for the gods to replace him. He didn’t know who it was but they seemed to know what they were doing, claiming souls so fast Hades could hardly sense when one had left the mortal world to live in the underworld.
Hades perked up at the sound of crying
Oh, Hadie.
He turned on his heel and speed over to the makeshift crib of his son, rubbing the top of his fuzzy blue hair and picking him up; gently rocking him as Hadie continued to cry, Hades didn’t know from what but he would try to find out.
-
Like the little god he was, Hadie unexpectedly thrived on the barren isle of the lost; with what little food he got and with little sun, Hadie grew quickly and strong. At four years old he was already growing into his namesake; though Hades couldn’t ever resist being a dad over his little gap tooth in the middle of his teeth.
Hades just wished Persephone could see Hadie grow, and Hades wished he could see his little flower, Melinoe, grow into the headstrong warrior she was meant to be.
-
Whaaaaaaaat the fuck did he do….what in the actual fuck did he DO?!
He had stupidly gotten black out drunk at Gaston’s bar and somehow ended up with Maleficent! Of all people on the isle?! No-not out of all people, just with someone in general!?
He had prided himself in being the most loyal husband of his brothers, Zeus who had slept with a woman every time Hera blinked, and Poseidon; who wasn’t any better.
Hades had always been loyal and true to his wife…well there were those two times BUT compared to his brothers; he was loyal.
AND NOW HE HAD TO GO AND FUCK UP THAT STREAK; over 1000 years, 1000 years! And some bad whiskey had to ruin it.
He left that bed without a word, rushing home to his 4-year-old son who luckily hadn’t woken up yet from his sleep; and Hades swore if nothing came from that mistake, Hadie would never know about it.
-
Welp…that was something that came from the mistake. 11 months after the incident with Maleficent-
-There, right in front of his gates to his underground lair; was a little baby girl, halfheartedly swaddled in a green blanket and set at his gate, a little note taped to the front.
‘your problem now -M’
Hades leaned out of the gates, looking around for any goblins or any sign of the mistress of evil herself. But there was nothing. Hades sighed and crouched down, gently picking up the baby girl and holding him to his chest, her cries quieting as her cheek pressed against the fabric of his shirt.
She opened her eyes, vivid green with sparks of gold and yellow. She laughed, reaching up to his hair with a gummy smile. Hades sighed again and turned on his heel, closing the gate with his foot.
At least he got another chance at raising his daughter, and he would do his best to do as he would’ve with Melinoe.
-
Hadie had asked a billion questions when Hades placed the new baby in Hades old crib, leaning over and peering down at his little sister. Hades had explained it the best way he knew how to a child; but Hadie miraculously understood, didn’t blame him. All he did was reach down towards his sister and grin as the baby took his finger.
“I like her! Are we keeping her?” Hadie had asked, his gap tooth making his little grin seem even bigger.
“she's not a dog Hadie, but yes that’s the plan. I don’t think her mother’s coming back.” Hades rubbed Hadie’s fluffy blue hair and then reached out to rub his daughter's bluish-purple hair gently, her two-month-old hair curling around his fingers.
“What's her name?” Hadie continued to babble off questions, his yellow eyes staring directly into his sister's emerald eyes.
Hades thought for a moment, pursing his lips as he looked at the note and turned it over. Nothing other than Maleficent's writing and initial. Either the fae hadn’t given the baby a name or didn’t care enough to tell him.
“Morana“ the pagan Slavic goddess of winter and death; he had met or once or twice, not enough to know her but the name matched the baby girl before him well enough. (in this world, gods of all religions/beliefs exist in the same universe, they usually keep to themselves and rarely interact.)
Hadie repeated the name, pulling his finger around with Morana still holding onto him. “I like it!”
-
Three months later, Maleficent returned and took Morana from him; not even letting him give her a damn thing to remember him by. “I need an heir, that evil queens been bragging about her little rat and I won't let her get the upper hand with it” Hadie watched from behind Hades legs as the fae walked away with his little sister, her blue-purple hair stark against the black of Maleficent's sleeves.
Morana cried the entire time, reaching out for her father with tears streaming from her sparking yellow-green eyes, her face red with the flurry of confusing emotions she was feeling.
Hades took a step forward, going to take his daughter back but was stopped by Maleficent's goons, all glaring at him.
He was outmatched.
He stepped back, glaring at Maleficent's back as she took back their daughter she had abandoned so heartlessly three months ago.
-
Mal. That was her name now. He had heard many talk about the newly revealed daughter of evil; the daughter of Maleficent. Mal.
Hades clicked his jaw at the thought of her name, Maleficent had been shellfish and named her own daughter right after her; Hades would bet his stash of chocolate that Mal’s full name was just Maleficent.
At least Hades had been original.
-
Throughout the next couple of years, as Mora-Mal. Grew up, Hades kept out an eye on her; just out of sight from her and just barely stepping in if any of the older people of the isle, who had…less than ideal moral compasses, got any ideas about his daughter.
A few times he tried to go up to her, but each time she saw him she either ran away in fear, or stared him down with no spark of familiar want or recognition.
So he kept away, respecting her non-verbal wishes and leaving Mal to herself.
It didn’t stop him from trying to keep her safe. He left her food on the nights Maleficent or her goons forgot, never charged her when she came into his restaurant, was never harsh with her. Some of the other villains got curious at his gentleness with Mal but quickly shut up with a spark of red in his eyes. He might’ve lost his magic but he was still a god.
-
Hades watched from the shadows as Mal and her three ‘friends’ climbed into the limo, the son of Hook and son of Gaston climbing in alongside them. Mal looked up at Maleficent, who did an odd gesture and Mal nodded, sliding in and closing the limo door behind her.
He followed the limo all the way to the bridge, watching his daughter leave the isle for the first time and go to Auradon. If she didn’t end up burning it down; he hoped she would have a good life away from her mother.
-
Over three years later, his son was chosen to go the Auradon by his sister, and Hades watched melancholy as Hadie packed his things; fiddling with the dull ember between his fingers. Hadie hefted his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his duffle bag, nodding at his dad; who stood and walked over to his son “stay safe” Hades muttered, pulling Hadie in for a side hug, his hand resting on the back of Hadie’s head. “say hi to your mother and sister for me?” Hadie nodded against him, using his free arm to squeeze Hades back, and turned on his heel, walking out of the mines.
-
Only an hour later Hades stood at the bridge plaza, ember in hand; pointing it at his daughter, who cried out in pain against the embers draining powers. He pulled back as much as he could, he needed to get out; he just couldn't do it anymore, the isle was hell and he needed to leave.
Mal screamed in pain again and Hades faltered, remembering her cries for him when Maleficent took her oh so long ago. But the girl besides Hook took his falter and rushed at him, slamming him back behind the barrier and walking back through it a moment later.
Hades growled to himself, he had failed his attempted escape and hurt his kid. He stood and walked away from the plaza, planning to stay in his lair for the rest of the week in shame.
-
It was just the next day when he saw his kids again, Hadie and Celia standing in front of him; giving the excuse of a forgotten bass and some delivered goods. But Mal wasn’t as quiet as she should've been, he grabbed her hand just as she grabbed the ember and pulled it from her grip, staring her down behind his sunglasses.
She meekly asked for the ember multiple times, and on the third time, he raised his brow, holding up the ember in the air as he looked down at his daughter “You’re only half Hades, the ember won't do everything for you that it does for me” Mal huffed and gestured to Hadie.
“Hadie’s gonna be the one to use it anyway, I just wanted-to…” Mal looked up at him wide-eyed and shocked, and Hades had a startling realization that Mal might have not known about him at all.
After a few minutes of Mal screeching about her mother’s lies and her not being able to understand how ‘she’ happened, she demanded the ember once more “if you wanna make up for being a lousy dad” ouch that stung, he didn’t mean to be one; he just was forced into that position “gimme the ember”
Hades gave Mal the ember and watched her walk out, sighing sadly as he realized he could’ve been there for Mal a long time ago if not for his stupid assumption. He warned her about the ember getting wet and she just pushed past him, Hadie sharing one last glance with him before following after her.
Hades sighed, collapsing back in his minecart turned chair and leaning his head back. So much for respecting her wishes as a child, she hadn’t even known he existed as her dad.
-end-
people who i want to read this cuz ahhhh ya know?
@disneyfan50
permtaglist!
@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012
@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @random-thoughts-003
@remembered-license @imtryingthisout @rintheemolion
@thecaptainsgingersnap @jatp-rules-my-life @verboetoperee
@saryguerrero
#disney descendants#d3 rewrite#hades descendants#POYW#rewrite part of your world#Descendents#mal daughter of maleficent
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[OM!] Hanahaki Disease + Flowers for Demon Brothers (Part 1)
Scenario: Which flowers would the demon brothers be inflicted with when they develop Hanahaki Disease falling in love with you? + Headcanons to how they would deal with it.
(includes pictures of flowers 🌻🌺)
PART 1 INCLUDES: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan
[PART 2] INCLUDES: Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor + Diavolo
Note: BIG PINING ENERGY + Unrequited Love aka ANGST; I love hanahaki so i wrote our local demon boys coughing up an a e s t h e t i c bouquet
--
Lucifer
(White) Sweet Pea = gratitude; departure; also common to give to brides
You have always been a little special to Lucifer, and he has always had a soft spot for you. It wasn’t something big-- he knew he had favorites. Though you were troublesome, you were just as loving and patient as you helped him and his family again and again. Gratitude on its own cannot inflict the hanahaki disease onto a demon, but it is the overwhelming love that comes with his overflowing thanks that has him coughing into his black gloves white petals that contrasts beautifully. It is alarming, but he tells no one, especially not you. (Looking back at it later, the purity of color that his lungs have produced makes him a little wry, because it does make sense that the purest thing about him is his love for you.)
(Blue) Forget-Me-Nots = true love; memories
He is a man who yearns. He wishes for your affection but can never find it in him to ask for it, so he keeps the memories of his time with you together in his heart-- counting them like fragile, little flowers in his palm. And he continues to fall for you as he gets to know you better. Forget-me-nots begin to litter his desk, reminding him how much you dominate his everyday thoughts, in the little things you do.
(Lilac) Azalea = temperance (self-control), passion, fragility; “take care”
At the peak of his love for you, Lucifer has grown so much from who he was before. He finds it fitting when he coughs out petals of lilac azaleas, a memento of how much he has changed and how much he has fallen so deeply in love. There is no turning back-- he is in love with you, with your passion and your strength, and the way he can feel fragile whenever you hold him. “Take care,” the petals say when he coughs out enough to cover the floor of his room the moment you leave the Devildom at the end of the year. He knows already he will miss your presence by his side. He has said nothing to you about his feelings-- doesn’t dare to: there is no happiness in a union between a mortal and immortal.
As much as he wanted to continue loving you, there’s too much to lose and he has too much that must be accomplished
Doesn’t entertain the idea of confessing and having you return those feelings and has them removed
Mammon
Ivy with a sprig of white tendrils = anxious to please, affection
It is a known fact that Mammon falls for you hard and fast. It’s a little jarring, when he thinks back on it, to pull out a vine of ivy with white tendrils from his mouth only when you have only been in the Devildom for a month. But he doesn’t think much about it. It’s obvious he cares for you, yearns for your affection when you’re the first to show him such unconditional kindness, tries his best to please you so you will always look at him favorably.
Sunflower = adoration
Mammon’s feelings for you only grow, but he doesn’t like the fact that the flowers have gotten bigger. It’s easier to dump ivy because they’re found outside, but where in the hell would you find sunflowers in a place without a sun? When he coughs out an entire flower, he saves them and-- upon observing its quality and cleanliness-- gifts them to you. He adores the smile on your face and doesn’t want to let you know that every time the flowers grow in his lungs, they choke and suffocate him.
(Yellow) Primrose = “I can’t live without you.”
Time is running out. You are only authorized to stay in the Devildom for so long, as much as he wants and begs you to stay. Would you stay if you knew that I loved you, he thinks. Do you even love me back? He looks back upon the days before he knew you and doesn’t need to reflect long to know that his world is better with you in it. He doesn’t tell you though, not when you’re awake at least. He had hoped that telling you when you couldn’t hear him would clear his lungs, but the primroses that he coughs up the morning after tells him otherwise and forebodes his decisions in the coming months.
In the scenario he confesses and MC doesn’t return his feelings, he would rather much die than forget he loved you
He knows his love for you has been ingrained into his heart and soul-- and to remove it means removing a part of himself, and he doesn’t know if he wants to do it; it might be foolish but… well, he’s a fool in love.
Leviathan
Hydrangea = gratitude for being understood
Never once have you looked at Levi with disdain when he talked about his interest. Never once has he felt so listened to, having your complete attention when he talks about something that he loves. The hydrangea petals come out in droves, covering the bottom of the tub with gentle violets and blues. It’s the first he’s felt understood, he thinks, of course his body would react so violently to something as novel as that. And besides, being understood is not the same as being loved. Levi keeps the flowers to himself, brushing off any questions and preferring to talk with you instead, spending any time he can get from you that you have not already given to his brothers.
(Yellow) Acacia = true friendship and indicates secret love
You’re his Player 2, his Henry. He can be content with just the notion that the two of you share an unbreakable bond of friendship where you’re there for him and he’s there for you whenever the two of you need it. The acacias, however, tell him he’s in love-- with your smiles, with your affectionate touches, with your laughter. Levi ignores them; he shouldn’t ask for more than he already has.
Daisy = loyal love; “I’ll never tell”
When daisies show up in his bouquet of hanahaki flowers, Levi thinks it’s a little ironic, but for once, he doesn’t argue. He will take his feelings to his grave, if he can help it-- pushing daisies as the humans would say. He’s convinced himself he wasn’t in love with you before, and he could probably do it again when you’re not in the Devildom anymore-- or so he hopes. His heart feels like it’ll never love anyone else when he watches you fall asleep on his shoulders.
Not unlike Mammon, he doesn’t tell his brothers about his illness and tries to fight it off himself-- but feelings are hard to get rid of
Ultimately chooses to have his feelings removed if he can’t do it himself, putting him right where he feels like he belongs as your best friend
He feels like he’s lost something, but soon enough he forgets the time he loved you (for his sake)
Satan
(Blue) Petunia = can be anger/resentment or “Your presence soothes me”; deep trust, peacefulness, intimacy
When Satan coughs out petals of petunia as dark as night, he stares at the bunch of them on the palm of his hand. He tries coughing them up again, but he doesn’t get to decide when the illness acts up. He searches furiously through his library for what he has, quickly coming to the conclusion that he had feelings for you. Of course he did-- considering what you’ve done for him, giving him a chance to make sense of his identity and looking beyond his anger. He knows without a doubt that these petunias do not represent his anger; in fact, they denote the opposite. “Your presence soothes me,” he reads in the language of flowers, wondering if the flowers will change the more he trusts in you and gets closer to you.
(White) Jasmine = Sweet love, amiability
He picks out the white jasmine off his tongue and quietly dumps them into the trash, the sweet scent stuck in his mouth. When you ask him if he’s alright, he turns around and smiles at you-- a sweet, genuine smile that no one can doubt to be sincere. He returns to where he was by your side as he reads the latest novel at your insistence, glancing at you once every other sentence to gauge your reactions. He feels his cheeks flush underneath your gaze, but he doesn’t persuade you to do otherwise. He loves your attention, and sometimes in these quiet moments he can pretend that you’re just as in love with him as he was with you.
White roses = “I’m worthy of you”; loyalty
As the year passes, Satan grows more and more confident of who he is as a person, and where he stands with you. These feelings may have been new, but when the white rose petals tumbles from his mouth, he knows that there is only one thing he must do before you leave. He yearns-- he isn’t different from those with this illness-- but he knows better than to pine after someone who doesn’t feel the same as him after all this time. And regardless of whether you can stay with him, he wants you to know how you make him feel: worthy-- and worthy to be loved by you.
In the chance you don’t feel the same, he’s disappointed. When yellow carnations come from his lips as if to commemorate his rejection, he destroys his room, not in resentment but in the fact that he will have to forget some of the parts you made him feel.
He wishes he could keep these feelings, but knows that it’s unfair to both of you to keep hoping. When you leave the Devildom, he lets himself mourn for what he will lose and removes the flowers.
#obey me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me headcanons#shall we date obey me#hanahaki disease#angst#flowers
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Could you possibly do a separate lost boys x reader who is Laddie's older sister? If not that's fine. Have a great day :)
Y’all seem to like when I write about Laddie, and that’s great because I love writing about him too. You have a great day as well!
The Lost Boys x Fem!Reader Who is Laddie’s Older Sister
David
david isn’t too fond of the idea of having a child in his gang. he doesn’t mind kids...unless they’re living with him. he doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of a child, so when laddie came around he let the other boys take responsibility of the little guy. that was until laddie told the group that he had an older sister, and he wanted her to join the group. he expected you to be young like laddie, but instead you were older...and beautiful.
out of all the boys david would be the least likely one to ask laddie for permission to date you. what’s the little pipsquaek gonna do about it? david thinks if laddie doesn’t like the relationship then too bad. unless david is mistreating you (which he wouldn’t obviously) then laddie would have no problem with your relationship. the only problem he does have is laddie doesn’t want david to take up all of your time. sometimes laddie wants brother and sister bonding time, and he doesn’t want david around for that.
laddie has never caught you two “in the act”. the only time he ever walked in on you two was during a heated makeout session. laddie came in the room for his teddy bear and well his eyes widened when he saw david on top of you. he didn’t know what to say so he just left the room really embarrassed and closed the door behind him. unfortunately, laddie told paul about what happened and it became a thing you and david got teased for.
david doesn’t like to be bothered when he’s around you. especially when he wants to be alone with you, but sometimes laddie wants to be alone with his big sister too. david won’t bother arguing with laddie because he knows you’ll shut it down immediately, and even though laddie can be a pain in his butt the little kid is still related to you so david’s gotta show some respect. 9/10 times they’ll both have to spend time with you at the same time, so there really is no winner. the 1/10 times are when david uses mind tricks to get laddie away or he’ll bribe the kid with a new toy.
the good thing about dating david and being laddie’s older sister is it gives them both a chance to get to know each other better. they’ve never really had one on one time together since laddie spends most of his time with dwayne, paul, or star. it’s not that they don’t like each other, they just don’t know each other. laddie has always been intimidated by david, so they never really had a one on one conversation.
they probably won’t have a really close relationship, but it’d be better than before. to the point where laddie is comfortable with your relationship with david. he trusts that david is a good boyfriend, and won’t hurt you in any way. since laddie is little he can’t exactly tell david “break her heart and i’ll break your face”, but if he ever would break your heart laddie would loose all respect he had for david.
Dwayne
it’s not hard to notice that dwayne is pretty good with children. when laddie was turned he took the little guy under his wing, and made sure he stayed out of trouble. he was the older brother that anyone around laddie’s age would want. it was a complete surprise to dwayne when laddie told him that he had an older sister. dwayne didnt mind the idea of having another female in the group. of course he expected you to be young, so he was in for a big surprise.
when dwayne saw you he immediately knew you were the one for him. the only issue was you were laddie’s sister, and dwayne didn’t know how the kid would feel about it. since dwayne didn’t want to loose the friendship he had with laddie he decided to ask the boy to see how he’d feel about it. laddie didn’t have a problem with it as long as dwayne would be respectful towards you. soon enough, you and dwayne started a relationship.
dwayne’s worst nightmare would be if laddie would walk in on you two. it’s never happened, but it almost did. you two were about to do the deed when laddie walked into the room to ask you something. when you guys heard the door open dwayne immediately jumped off of you, and you tried to act like you were doing something. luckily laddie didn’t suspect a thing and left the room once he was done talking to you. now dwayne doesn’t try to do anything with you unless you’re alone with him. he doesn’t want to risk that happening again.
there are times when dwayne wants alone time with you, but he doesn’t know how to tell laddie to go away without sounding rude. if laddie wants to spend time with you then dwayne will let him. he understands that families need to spend time with one another. if dwayne really wants to spend time with you alone then he’ll make some agreement with laddie. for example, he’ll have to take the kid to get ice cream every day for a week, and he’ll get to spend time with you alone for the week too.
there is only one problem about your relationship with dwayne that usually ends up in an argument. laddie always rides on the back of dwayne’s motorcycle, but now he can’t. laddie doesn’t like riding with anyone but dwayne because the other guys can drive a bit recklessly. dwayne doesn’t really know how to fix the problem because he doesn’t want you to ride with any of the other boys, but at the same time he doesn’t want to hurt laddie’s feelings. dwayne’ll hate it but the only way to work the problem out is for you and laddie to take turns. he gets a little jealous when you ride with one of the boys but he won’t show it.
overall, laddie likes your relationship with dwayne. he trusts that dwayne won’t do anything to hurt you. dwayne and laddie’s relationship didn’t really change. they were close before and they still were. dwayne still took care of laddie and occasionally brought him on a couple of your dates, but usually he’d get bored of all the romance and he’d leave to go hang out with the others. even though laddie is small he will still look out for you, and he’ll make sure dwayne never breaks your heart.
Paul
paul is pretty good with kids, but in his own way. young kids mainly like him because paul lets them do whatever they want. so when paul met laddie he became the not a very good influence kind of older brother. but they were close. like dwayne, paul took care of laddie when he first turned, and he showed the boy all his records (that he stole). when laddie told the group that he had a sister paul was pretty excited to meet you. when that opportunity came he was taken back on how gorgeous you were.
the minute paul saw you he wanted you, and he had a list of pickup lines ready. paul didn’t ask laddie for permission mainly because he doesn’t ask anybody for permission. if paul wants something he’s gonna go after it, and in this case it was you. laddie noticed what paul was doing right away. he might be young, but he’s not dumb. laddie cringed at every pickup line paul gave to you, and he was shocked when you agreed to go on the date with paul. he loves paul, but he kinda wished you said no.
laddie knows how paul is. he knows that paul sleeps around with a couple girls a week, and he didn’t want you to be next. he tried to talk to paul about it, but now paul was with you all the time! and he couldn’t talk to you because you were with paul all the time. it was stressful for laddie because he didn’t want paul to leave you for another girl. he finally got an opportunity to get paul alone when you were asleep. laddie told paul in the best way possible to not hurt you. paul just smiled like he always does and said “don’t worry about it bud. I dont wanna hurt her, I wanna keep her!”
luckily throughout your relationship with paul, laddie has never walked in on you two when he shouldn’t have. that’d be embarrassing for you, and it’ll probably traumatize laddie for life. you may think that laddie doesn’t know what you and paul do when you’re alone but ohh he does. he kinda wishes he didn’t. since you and laddie’s parents are absent, dwayne and paul gave laddie “the talk”. let’s just say paul is the worst teacher on the birds and the bees. laddie tries to forget that even happened.
a problem that does occur is paul is very needy for attention, and so is laddie. paul acts like a needy child when he wants attention, and laddie technically is a needy child. paul doesn’t like sharing, but he’s going to have to. he didn’t like it at first but he didn’t mind it after a while. if laddie wanted to be with you alone then paul would figure out how to entertain himself until he could hang out with you again. he forgot that family time is important since he hasn’t seen his family in decades, but he understands now that it’s important for you and laddie to have a good relationship.
your relationship with paul didn’t cause many changes to laddie and paul’s friendship. it only made laddie worry for some time, but then it was all okay. laddie doesn’t worry about paul breaking your heart anymore. he does worry that paul will say something stupid that’ll make you mad, but let’s be honest paul always says something stupid. as long as paul is a loyal boyfriend to you then laddie was nothing to worry about.
Marko
marko and laddie are friends, but they aren’t close. there is no beef between the two, they just don’t have much in common. marko likes to cause trouble while laddie is usually with dwayne or star staying out of trouble. the only time they got to know each other a little bit was when marko introduced laddie to his army of piegons, but since he couldn’t hold or play with them much he lost interest in the birds pretty fast. so when laddie told the group that he had a sister, marko didn’t think too much of it. that was until he laid eyes on you for the first time.
marko thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. why couldn’t laddie bring you to the cave sooner? the second he had the opportunity to get to know you he took it. he decided to be respectful and not immediately flirt with you. he started a conversation and eventually asked if you would like a tour of the boardwalk. when you accepted marko took you for a walk and bought you ice cream. marko kind of forgot that you were laddie’s sister, and he just asked you out on a date without even thinking about asking laddie first.
laddie didn’t know marko well enough to know if marko would be a loyal boyfriend. he didn’t even know you were dating him until he noticed you leaving the cave with him almost every night. he wasn’t upset that it was marko, but he wished that he got some sort of a heads up. when laddie did see you and marko together he realized that you really loved him, and he loved you too. that gave laddie some relief. at least he knows that marko cares about you.
laddie has never walked in on you and marko, but he has been kicked out of your bedroom when marko wants to be alone with you. usually it’s because marko wants to cuddle or he just wants some attention. laddie of course doesn’t think that. if he thinks what’s happening is going to happen then he’ll gladly leave. he doesn’t wanna stay and watch. marko will never tell laddie to leave the room. you’re the one that tells him because you can just tell by the look on marko’s face when he wants alone time with you.
surprisingly, they never fight over who gets your attention and who doesn’t. if laddie wants your attention then marko will let the kid have his way. marko knows that a lot of siblings don’t get along, so he wants you to have a good relationship with laddie. he’s a pretty patient guy, so he’ll want till laddie falls asleep and then he’ll get some alone time with you. but of course there are times when marko demands cuddles because he had a bad day or something, and those are the days laddie gets kicked out of the room.
since you and marko are very close that meant marko and laddie spent more time together then they used to. marko thought as long as he was dating you then he should probably get to know laddie a little more since he was your brother. it all started when marko bought laddie an ice cream along with one for you. laddie is pretty easy to gain trust of, so after a couple ice creams laddie already liked marko a little more. as time went by marko became another brotherly figure to laddie. not as close as dwayne or paul, but closer than it was before.
#the lost boys#the lost boys david#the lost boys dwayne#the lost boys paul#the lost boys marko#the lost boys x reader#the lost boys 1987#frog brothers#the lost boys star#david the lost boys#dwayne the lost boys#paul the lost boys#marko the lost boys
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You and I both know that love like that will not break just like that
Simon walked back to the storage building. It was a peaceful night and he was glad that he had been able to spend that time with Ambar, but now he needed to get to sleep, tomorrow would be full of training again. The room was supposed to be empty, Pedro would be staying with Delfi and Matteo was probably with Luna. Then he heard someone talking behind the big wardrobe that was close to the door.
So Matteo was there and appeared to be talking with someone on the phone. Simon peered closer to the wardrobe. He did not want to eavesdrop but he was curious who Matteo was talking with. If it was Gaston, he could drop in and say hi, they hadn't cached up in a while.
It seemed to be Gaston, Matteo was talking in Spanish so it was not any of his family. Yes, I was Gaston, but something seemed off to Simon. the conversation did not feel like the ones he had witnessed Gaston and Matteo having before.
"So, what exactly happened?" Matteo's voice was serious and full of empathy. Not that Simon had not seen that side of him before, but he seemed really really concerned here.
"I don't know what I was thinking, I..." Was Gaston crying? Simon or the others did not talk to him very frequently, but he had to admit Gaston had not exactly seemed like himself. More solemn and serious, but he had just assumed that was due to University stress.
"You know better than anyone that I never stopped loving her, I could never...", Gaston was definitely crying. That took Simon off guard. He had not really known Gaston that well, but the guy had always been so positive. Simon had to admit that his view of Gaston had not started as the best, they had really started to know each other when he had started to date Nina...
Wait, were they talking about Nina? "Calm down, What did you tell her?" Simon heard Matteo say. He was very confused about the situation. "Nothing, I couldn't...".
"I couldn't take it anymore! You were right, I don't know how I ever thought I could live without her". There was no doubt about it, they were talking about Nina, or were they? Simon had to admit that he had been pretty surprised when he first learned that Nina liked Gaston. Gaston, Matteo's most loyal follower. Simon did not even know how exactly they had happened but after the Intercontinental, it was clear that something had happened. After the Summer break, they seemed to be in a deeply committed relationship. One would think that the SHY Nina would not be one for much public affection, but that shy part did not seem to exist when she was with Gaston.
"And you didn't tell her that?" Matteo's voice rang out again. He seemed to be deeply concerned for his best friend. Simon had always admired the friendship between Matteo and Gaston. It seemed even ridiculous to admit that he had admired Matteo about something. When they had first met, it seemed like Matteo only cared for himself, but it was clear that he had also always cared for his best friend. They all had noticed that Gaston's absence had had its toll on Matteo.
"How, could have I? I have lost her." So seemed likely that Gastón had somehow heard about the thing that Nina had apparently had with Eric. Simon had not paid that much attention to it either except the time Jim told them to leave them alone. I wasn't for Simon to have an opinion, but it did seem a bit fast, given how crushed Nina had been.
"Well brother, you have two options here: Forget her, which you have proven in multiple occasions that you don't possess the ability of, and don't even try to lie to me or fight for her". It did appear that Matteo thought that he had a right to an opinion. He was Gastón's best friend after all, and Simon always forgot that if someone knew about Nina and Gastón's history, other than Luna, it would be Matteo.
"What do you want me to do? This is my own fault, I deserve this." Simon did not know what had exactly known what had happened between them when Gastón had come to visit. The only thing he knew about it was that couple of days after Jazmin was saying that Gastón and Nina had broken up and Matteo had confirmed that later.
"She deserves to be happy, she deserves everything," Gastón said to Matteo through the video call. "And you are so certain her happiness doesn't lie with you?" It was Matteo speaking this time "just look at me and Luna..." "I am the one who left her Matteo!" Gastón said, his voice cracking again, "I don't deserve her anymore... if I ever even did." Okay, Simon did not like the tone this conversation was approaching anymore. He started to be really concerned and from his tone, the same applied to Matteo.
"That is just in your head, and you don't need me to tell you that it is not true." Matteo's voice was very stern, but not in the way Simon was familiar with. He sounded concerned, but also apparently angry that Gastón was talking about himself that way. It also seemed like this was not the first time this type of conversation had been had.
"Look, Matteo. I need to go now. I have to study and..."
"Gastón, wait..." It seemed like Gastón had cut the call and that was confirmed by Matteos frustrated crumbles. Simon thought for a moment if he should circle back out and pretend he had just come in and definitely not heard not anything, but he had too many questions and maybe it was better to give himself up now instead of having Matteo find out later that he had heard everything.
Simon walked carefully from behind the wardrobe. It took a moment to Matteo to notice him. He jumped for a moment since he clearly had been in his thoughts after the call ended.
"Simon!" Matteo said, "When did you come in? I didn't hear you".
"Actually, I have been here for a while", Simon gestured toward the wardrobe. "You mean... did you... how much did you hear?" the realization seemed to hit Matteo.
"Pretty much all of it. I didn't mean interrupt... or eavesdrop. I just..." the question was too burning on Simon's tongue, "I thought he was fine. I thought Oxford was what he wanted, he has seemed happy."
"You really thought he would have opened up to you, Pedro and Nico?" Matteo asked, "He has been putting on a front, pretending that he is fine. It took me a month to finally crack him. He always pretends that he is fine and that nothing's wrong when he is hurting and sees no way out of it."
"One thing he is right about: he brought this on him himself. Why was he so desperate to be unhappy, he should have at least talked to me first..." Matteo started muttering to himself. Simon still had another question, a big one.
"Matteo, what are you..." he just had to ask this, "are you planning to do something about Nina and Eric?" He didn't want to think this of Matteo, but he had a tendency to get himself into such messes. "I don't have the ability to make Eric disappear if I wanted to," to Simon's surprise Matteo grinned.
"Do you know why I got back together with Ambar right before the Intercontinental?" Matteo asked. Simon did not understand anything. "I was trying to accomplish the same thing as you with Daniela," Matteo admitted. Simon did really not want to start talking about Daniela, but he did get Matteo's point now.
"Nina loves Gastón, he loves her," Matteo said, "For years it has been that way. You weren't there, I was".
"Love like theirs won't break just like that" Matteo looked at Simon, "You and I both know that." Matteo was right. Simon had never stopped loving Ambar, no matter how many times he had tried, how many times it had seemed hopeless. If he would have to watch her with someone else, he didn't know how he could bear it. Watching her be with Benicio... Simon did not want to even think about that anymore.
"Please don't tell bout this to Luna?" Matteo asked him suddenly. Simon understood why, and come to think of it, what Matteo talked about with his best friend was not even her business. "She would just tell I am wrong and that it is not my business since it is her best friend and her happiness," Matteo sighed, "But you see it is not. It is also about my best friend and his happiness". Matteo looked determined, "They will find each other again if I have anything to say about it"
Happy dance! I finally finished this! It is pretty much canon that Gastón called Nina to get back together with her, but he chickened out after he heard about Eric and got his heart broken. And after that, he called Matteo, since they are best friends and still in contact during S3, even if the show tries to pretend otherwise. I have always wanted to write their conversation and I spiced it up by having an outsider point of view who does not possess all of the facts in Simon
#Soy Luna#soy luna fanfiction#Gastina#Gastteo#Sitteo#this so happened and is canon#you can't convince me otherwise
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7 for helca :vibecheck:
“I promise”, the little boy said as he pulled his friend closer.
Ayrenn had run off once again, leaving her brother behind.
“You are not even two years younger than she is. That is not much, and out of the two of you, you are the responsible one”, was what one of their teachers had said.
It’s your fault, you should have stopped her, was what Naemon had heard, and what the teacher had meant, disapproval clear on his face.
As if it was Naemon’s responsibility to keep his sister in check.
As if he hadn’t begged her not to go, or at least to take him along with her, just this once. But Ayrenn would vanish for days at a time, making their parents sick with worry, and not once had she told him where she’d been. She was still taller than him, could outrun him easily, and whenever she tried to follow her, he’d lose her eventually, her laughter still ringing in his ears. And yet, he could never bring himself to alert their parents when he caught her sneaking away.
It always ended the same, anyway. With Naemon taking the blame for Ayrenn’s disappearance, and once she came back, everyone was too relieved over the safe return of the crown princess to be cross with her.
It wasn’t fair, Naemon thought. But he knew that Ayrenn was more important than he was – she was the heir, and people would always see it that way. He understood why. It was fine. Just like it was fine for his sister to leave him behind whenever she pleased, even though he never understood why she did it. Maybe he’d slow her down too much, or maybe she thought he was just a coward, too scared to really follow her on one of her adventures.
It hurt to think about it too much. Sometimes, it was bad enough that he couldn’t stop the tears.
The first time Helcarion had caught him crying over being left behind once more, he’d been horrified. He’d been told to keep his emotions to himself, especially the bad ones. But Helcarion had never been angry with him for it. He had simply told him that crying was alright, and that they were only children, and that not talking about what made them sad was utterly stupid. And then he’d hugged him.
Just like he was doing now, with Naemon clinging to him.
“I promise”, Helcarion whispered, even though they were alone and nobody could hear them. “I won’t ever leave you behind. You’re my best friend. I’ll always be there for you when it matters.”
“I promise”, Helcarion, now sixteen, repeated.
The princess hadn’t come back this time, and suddenly, everything had become too much. Naemon was heir to the throne now, without the luxury of several years to settle into the role. He’d always been the spare, the backup plan, and now, he was left with no clue how to handle all of it.
But then again, he still had Helcarion. They were still as inseparable as they had been as small children, even if Naemon had forced himself to grow somewhat more distant. Not that it ever did anything to scare his friend away – Helcarion probably knew him better than he knew himself. He was not alone in this, he knew.
His friend didn’t hug him anymore, didn’t touch him at all, really, but his presence was as comforting as ever, as were his words.
“I promise I’ll still be there, no matter what”, he’d said, and Naemon allowed himself to believe him. He had no reason not to.
Helcarion was just… always there. There to help him through his grief when he’d realized Ayrenn was gone for good this time. To help him adjust to the new situation life had thrown him in, even if he didn’t like all of the things it entailed. Like his upcoming engagement to a young lady named Estre. He’d never met her before and would have much preferred someone he already knew, but his parents thought it to be an ideal match, and so he had not protested. There had been a strange look in Helcarion’s eyes for just a moment when he’d shared the news, one that Naemon couldn’t decipher. It had been gone before he could even think to ask what was wrong, replaced by his friend’s usual kind smile, and somehow, Naemon convinced himself he’d just imagined it.
He needed things to be fine right now.
“He promised”, Naemon muttered, not knowing what he’d done wrong.
Helcarion had left on some expedition with the Mages Guild. He’d told him he might be gone for a year, perhaps more. Naemon had known, of course, that the other man wasn’t made for politics, and that he took his magical studies very seriously to make up for it. Why he had chosen the guild instead of the Sapiarchs was beyond him, though. He would have been closer at least, had he chosen that path. But now, Helcarion had left him behind, and he hadn’t told him why. Was it something Naemon had done? Had he finally tired of him?
“Ah, not to worry”, Estre said when he eventually confided in her. “You don’t need him anyway. One of my mother’s associates visited the guild hall recently, and it seems Helcarion has made friends with a khajiit, of all people. His parents must be so disappointed. As you should be, by the way. He really isn’t the kind of company you should keep as the future king.”
Naemon wanted to argue, wanted to tell her that Helcarion was the best friend he’d ever had, but then again… Helcarion had gone away, without even telling him how he could reach him. Perhaps he simply didn’t care anymore. It hurt, of course, but there was a chance they’d simply grown distant, and that was that. It happened.
Maybe it was better that way as well, since Helcarion seemed to avoid Estre whenever he could, and it made things rather difficult.
His wife had long suspected the other mer to hate her, and she had told Naemon so, though she claimed she had no idea why. But she smiled reassuringly at him now, and told him things were going to be just fine, and that he could do fine without Helcarion by his side.
“You need someone more trustworthy anyway. Someone who is up to the task of being the king’s right hand. Actually, I have someone in mind already! Pelidil has been so eager to meet you, and I’m sure the two of you would get along splendidly. Would you like me to formally introduce him to you?”, she offered.
And Naemon nodded.
“I promised...”, Helcarion sobbed, kneeling on the floor in Elden Root’s throne room.
He didn’t care that half the Dominion elite was watching, didn’t care what King Camoran thought of him. He didn’t want to listen to whatever it was Ayrenn tried to say to him. It was her fault as much as it was his own, anyway. If she’d only appreciated her brother more, included him in her decisions, maybe he would not have felt the need to prove he could be something more. But still, Helcarion couldn’t blame her. She had not made any promises to Naemon. He had.
He’d promised to stay with him. To be there when he needed him, even if Helcarion knew Naemon would not, could not love him back.
He should never have left, should not have allowed Estre to drive him away from Naemon’s side with the mocking glances she sent his way while clinging to the prince’s arm, touching him freely in a way Helcarion could only ever dream of, or the cruel words she said to him when Naemon wasn’t close enough to overhear.
But Helcarion wasn’t blind, he’d seen how much Naemon adored his wife, and above all else, he’d wanted him to be happy, and so he’d accepted that there was no place for him here any longer. Estre had won, and she would become queen, he had thought. And now she was gone, and the news had taken so long to reach Helcarion that even though he’d dropped everything to try and return to comfort his friend, he’d been too late. Always too late.
“You promised!”, the lich screeched, trying to reach for Helcarion with its clawed hand.
He could not even move. Indaenir had to grab him and haul him backwards, out of range, while Kidhesi threw spell after spell in the direction of what had once been the man Helcarion loved. Everything in him screamed at him to make her stop it, make him try to reason with Naemon. If he could only get through to him – but he’d been told it was impossible. He knew the lich was all the bad parts of Naemon. His rage, his hatred, his arrogance and disdain, with nothing of his beautiful, caring, loyal side left to balance them out. But still – he’d loved all of Naemon, with all of his flaws and fears. He still did, even now.
The lich attempted to claw at his face again, only missing by a mere inch.
Kidhesi cursed. “This one knew we should have left him outside!”
Helcarion couldn’t make out Indaenir’s answer, but he knew the khajiit was right, he should never have come, he was only in the way, a liability. He would never be able to hurt Naemon, even in this form, and he had been too late to save him. The only thing he’d been able to do was to avenge him, to look Pelidil in the eye as he stabbed him, and tell him that this was for Naemon, even if he could no longer make up for a promise broken too long ago. He’d been to weak then, just as he was now.
Now, he could only watch as Kidhesi slowly encased the lich in ice and stepped closer, frozen spikes glittering all around her.
“I’m sorry”, he muttered. He could do nothing to save his friend now.
But he could at least be there.
#eso#my writing#oc: helcarion#oc: kidhesi#naemon#ayrenn estre pelidil and indaenir are there too#long post#intya answers#i hate myself rn#em why did you do this to me
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I would give up everything for you.
A Charles Brandon x Mary Tudor (written as reader) (Henry’s sister) one shot
You can find more of my writings in the Masterlist
Warnings: Death, heartbreak, crying, unwanted arranged marriage (and talking about being consummated).
Summary: Shortly after becoming a widow, Henry summons you back to England for he has arranged a new marriage for you.
A/N (Important to understand the story): For those who don’t know, in the show they’d merged both Henry’s sisters into one: Margaret. In reality, he had two sisters, the one mentioned who ended up marrying the King of Scotland, James IV, becoming the Queen consort of said country (and after the death of her husband, Queen regent in name of her son for two years). Mary, the other sister, was married to the King of France, Louis XII for a few months, until his death and soon he was succeeded by his son-in-law Francis I -the King of France from the show, and his daughter Claude as Queen Consort- she couldn’t reign for the law forbid a woman to rule the country back at that time. Shortly after the death of the King, Charles was in charge of bringing Mary safe back to England, but in reality that was a secret plan for them to marry in secret in France, as Mary confessed to King Francis. It isn’t known when and how exactly they fell in love but it surely was before her marriage to the late King of France. They married in secret but then they had a public wedding because they suspected Mary to be pregnant and they wanted their kid to be legitimate.
For my story, I mixed a bit of the show’s plot with actual events. The main characters are the same from the show, except from Mary, written from a perspective of reader, who wasn’t on the show (Margaret’s story in this one-shot is the same from history and not the one from the series). I used the arranged marriage with the King of Portugal’s plot from drama purposes (this never happened in reality, because like I’ve said, Mary married Charles before going back to London, and she had married the King of France with the promise that she would marry who she wanted after that or she would become a nun - which Henry did not want because he would lose the Dowager’s money if she did that. -although in this story she doesn’t threaten him with becoming a nun.)
Disclaimer: English isn’t my first language and write in another period of time can be a bit difficult. I tried my best, so I apologize if I made mistakes.
Tag list: @lunedelorient @henrythickcavill @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @mary-ann84 @desperate-and-broken @peakygroupie @summersong69 @ivvitm1109 @madbaddic7ed @iloveyouyen @the-soot-sprite @hell1129-blog @whyyoudothistomecavill @thetaoofzoe @thereisa8ella
"The Queen of France, Your Majesty" announced one of the guards as you enter the room. Henry was sitting on the throne. There were a few guards there as well as Charles and William Compton, who were standing next to the door.
- Dear sister! - your brother exclaimed as he stood up and approached you, grabbing your arms and placing a kiss on your cheek. - My poor sister, I'm terribly sorry for the lost of your dear husband.- "dear husband"? It felt as if he was mocking you, after all the only reason you married the late King of France, Louis XII was because he forced you to for that marriage forced an alliance between the two countries.
Being married to an old man was not a pretty thing. Being forced to consummate that marriage and with a crowd of people to witness it. Luckily, it didn't last for long because not long after your coronation as the new Queen, on Christmas' eve your husband died for an illness. After his death, his son-in-law, Francis I, inherit the throne with his daughter, Claude as Queen Consort.
Even though your marriage was short, you were a loved Queen and you could have stayed in France if you desire it, but your brother had other plans for you.
For you to agree to marry the late French King, he promised you that you were going to be able to marry whom you choose after his death, but sadly for you, he had no plans to keep his word. He ordered the Duke of Suffolk to escort you safely back to England. Charles was a loyal friend to Henry, but you succeeded to confess your brother's intentions for your return to England - you knew that if he wanted you back so quickly was not because he missed his beloved sister, but because there was something he needed from you. "He wants you to marry the King of Portugal" he confessed finally succumbing to pressure. After finding out that your worse nightmare was a reality, you ordered everyone on the ship to leave you alone and you cried on the way back.
- As sorry as I am for your loss, I must admit sister that I would need you to put aside your grief and take the King of Portugal as your new husband. With the rise of power of the Holy Roman Emperor, we need new alliances and he is more than pleased to become out ally if you marry him. He's seen your portrait and is enchanted by your beauty.- he informed you with a smirk. You remained silent and made no gestures. - So, my dear sister, would you consent to marry the King?
- My consent is not needed, Your Majesty, for the King always does what he wants.- you finally said, your voice emotionless. There he was, your older brother. He could be charming for a moment and a second later be the devil himself if you crossed him. He didn't like when anyone defied him, especially women. His face showed no signs of rejoicing anymore, just contained anger.
- We are at war, my dear sister.- he explained angrily. - We could face an invasion from Spain and if that would happen, we will need soldiers and money and he could provide that to us.
- You are at war, brother. This is all because of you. If the Holy Roman Emperor is planning to attack England, it is because you broke your promise, like you always do, and set aside his aunt, humiliating her all. And that's because you had fallen in love with another woman. In your eyes, dear brother, you are the only one allowed to marry for love and you do not care who has to pay for your desires.- you replied bitterly. -If you want me to marry that old man, breaking the promise you once made me, at least you could have avoided me the displeasure of seeing your face and should have asked the Duke of Suffolk to escort me directly to Portugal since you know that no matter what are my choices, at the end I must be a loyal subject and obey you or I'll suffer the traitor's faith.
His hands were closed forming fists; he was containing his rage. If there was something Henry hated more than anything else was being defied. If it was not for the fact that he needed your Queen Dowager's money and the perks that your new marriage would bring to him, he would have you banned from court.
- Charles, take her to her chambers immediately.- he ordered and walked away, returning to his throne.
You bowed to him and allowed Charles to escort you back to your bedchambers. Once in the room, he closed the door to be sure no one would hear you speak.
- The Queen would be wise not to cross her brother.- he advised you. He spoke softly, surely it was because he did not want to be heard, but there was another thing in his voice: worry.
- Why not?- you asked; it was a sarcastic question, you knew exactly why you should no speak to Henry that way for he was a King before your blood.
- He could vanish you from court or worse.- he explained.
- Great! I would rather be banned from court or dying to have to marry another old King.- you admitted, sighing bitterly.
- You should not say that Your Majesty.- he pleaded.
- Charles, would you stop calling me Your Majesty? I have known you my entire life. I'm still the same Mary I have always been, just less trusting and much more unhappy.- you confessed.
- But now you are the King of France, Your Majesty. I should treat you with nothing but the proper respect.
- I am Queen Dowager, I don't have the same importance that an actual queen has.
- You are soon to be Queen again.- he reminded you and a tear fell from your eye; you wiped it away quickly. He stared at you with sadness on his eyes. He was probably hurt that you had to go through that again.
- I rather die.- you repeated and look to the floor -You are lucky Charles, you could marry whom you choose.- you sighed.
- I cannot.- he said with sadness.
- Who is that you want and can't have, Charles? -you asked sarcastically.
The Duke of Suffolk looked you directly into your eyes, giving you the answer to your question without even saying a word.
Before leaving England, the two of you were close. He was this ladies' man and you were the King's little sister, but you started to see him differently in the year previous to your marriage. He was sweet, funny and protective. It was clear that you were not a just his friend's sister anymore, but a smart, funny and delightful woman. You had long talks while you played with carts and spent a lot of time together before your departure.
Charles excused himself and was about to leave. You called his name and when he turned to face you, you ran into his arms and kissed him. He pulled you closer to him as he stopped fighting his conscience. He probably felt that it was wrong, but he couldn't keep denying his feelings. After the long and awaited kiss, he pressed his forehead against yours and sighed.
- Escape with me.- you pleaded.
- What? -he asked confused.
- We could go to France. Francis is not a fan of my brother and he had nothing but sweet thoughts about me. He will be delighted to have me back there and surely he will support us and protect us if Henry decides to seek vengeance. - you assured him.- Please, Charles.
- I... I cannot do that, I am sorry.- he said avoiding to look at you. - I will not betray my King.
- Is it because he is your childhood friend or because you do not want to lose your lands and titles, Duke of Suffolk? - you questioned bitterly. He did not say a word, but it was not necessary; his shameful look said it all. Your poor heart broke into a million pieces. Not only you would have to marry an old man once more, but the man you loved preferred his nobility and money over you and your happiness. No matter what the future had set for you, it surely would not be a happy one.
A month passed before you were set to leave for Portugal. As you demanded, Charles stood away from you. The days passed and all you could do was crying about your cruel destiny. If at least you could have the luck that your sister Margaret had of marrying a young King whom she fell in love with, but no, that was not your fate. You were meant to be unhappy for the rest of your days.
Charles' eyes met yours. You could feel his pain but you could not be sorry for him, after all, he could have had you if he would have been brave enough to fight for you and, surely soon he would forget all about you and find solace in another woman's arms while you had to be with a man much older than you whom you didn't know. You quickly look to other side making sure he noticed that you were ignoring him and stood there, waiting in the room full of people for your brother to show up to say goodbye.
Henry appeared shortly with Cardinal Wolsey by his side. He approached you a kissed you " My dear sister. Fare you well on your journey. Remember the King of Portugal, your future husband, loves you and respects you. You must love him in return." - he said faking affection when in reality it was a command and a warning. He looked into your shiny, watery eyes but that didn't seem to have any effects on him. After crossing him the day of your return to England, he must be more than happy to see you gone.
The King was about to leave the place when the Duke of Suffolk called his attention.
- Your Majesty, I would like to have a word" - Charles pleaded.
Henry looked at him with confusion but gestured him to speak. He walked a few steps forward and got on his knee in front of his best friend.
- My heart forces me to beg you to save your sister from this marriage for that would make her unhappy.- he said firmly. There were gasps among the people present. You were breathless and your heart was beating an at exhilarating speed. Henry stared at him, his eyes showed both shock and anger. - As a sign of gratitude for your kindness towards the Queen of France, I will resign to my title, renounced to my lands and accept to be banned from court and any other punishment Your Grace sees suitable for my outrageous request.
For the first time since your mother's death, you saw tears fell from your brother's eyes. It didn't come as such as a surprise to you, you might be his sister by blood, but Charles was his brother by choice; they grew up together and he was his most faithful companion and now he put him in a position Henry must have surely hated. If he agreed to let you escape from this marriage, he would have to punish Charles from defying him in front of people from court. If he rejected his plead, people would know that he forced you into a marriage you didn't want to and he would further loss the affection of his subjects, who were already unhappy about his decision of leaving the beloved Queen Catherine for Anne Boleyn. Whatever decision Harry took, surely it would not have a happy ending for Charles. You knew you were right at the moment your brother stormed out of the room without saying a word.
Anthony Knivert, one of your brother's closest friends, walked you back to your chambers after Cardinal Wolsey ordered him to do so. The trip to Portugal has been postponed until after the King came with a resolution about the matter.
As impossible as it seemed, you were even more heartbroken than before. There was no way Charles could cross your brother like that and no get punished and all because of your fault. If you just accepted your destiny quietly and had not made him feel guilty for choosing lands and his noble title over you, this would not have happened. Now, because of your stubbornness, he could face death.
It was around midnight when you heard someone knocking at your door. After permitting to enter your bedchambers, Charles walked in. You got up quickly from your bed and ran into him. He hugged you tightly for a moment and then softly pressed his head against yours. You could feel his warm breath. His hands grabbing your face provoked you chills.
- Charles, you should not have done that.- you regretted.
- I should have done it before, but it is ok. I would do it again if necessary.- he assured you and tears rolled down your cheeks. His thumbs clean the tears and then he kissed you. - You are not only the Queen Dowager of France but also the Queen of my heart, Mary.- he confessed. You smiled at him and your lips met his again.
After a knock, the door opened and Will Compton warned Charles to hurry for someone was coming. He kissed you once more and disappeared.
The King summoned you a few days after. There were some noble people present, Thomas Howard, Duke of Norfolk among others. Charles was already there waiting. About half an hour later Henry appeared with Wolsey and sat on the throne. He remained silent for a moment, as he inspected you. He knew; he knew his friend loved you and his love was reciprocated.
- Dear sister, I would like to apologize to you, for I did not know you were unhappy with the marriage proposal.- he said with conviction as if that would make it true- I desire nothing more than happiness for you, my beloved Mary. So I have decided that it should be you the one to decide who your future husband will be. You have my word and my blessing.
Of course, he would make it seem as if you pact before marrying King Louis XII was his idea, but you did not care, as long as he granted you that you were not mad about him credit it to himself.
- As for Your Grace.- he said looking at Charles- Your title and lands were given to you as a reward for bravely fighting by my side to defend your country and should remain at your disposal. Furthermore, as a sign of gratitude for enlightened me about my sister's displeasure for her now announced marriage, I would like to grant you my blessing to marry her, if that is her heart's desire and I hope you live the happy quiet life you desire away from court.
There it was, your punishment was being banned from court, but it was a slight price to pay for all the great things you had achieved. You were now allowed to marry Charles and live happily with him.
Maybe it was the fear that Henry would change his mind that made you marry that same day. In a private ceremony, with a few maids and his friends Will and Anthony to witness it, you promised to love each other forever.
You had the opportunity to have another wedding since you have not bled and you were sure with child, you had a public wedding to show the legitimacy of your future child. This time, you had it at court. Henry was a proud man, but even if Charles did what no other man would have dared unless they wanted to lose their heads, your brother loved him too much and trust no other like he trusted your husband.
Henry Brandon. That's the name Charles choose for your newborn. He was the living image of his father.
Not everything in your remaining life was happiness. Even though you had been blessed with another two children, Frances and Eleanor, by God's will your little Henry died when he was six years old. A year after that, another baby joined your family, honouring his late brother by carrying his name.
Charles was nothing but a loving husband to you. He stood by your side when tragedy hit your family and later when you got ill. You survived the sweating sickness but never fully recovered from it, and five years later you meet again with your loving son. It must have hurt your love, who never left your side until your heart stopped beating. He loved you much and would be sad for losing you, but you were glad he had your loving daughters and son to keep him company and help him move on.
#charles brandon#charles brandon fanfic#charles brandon fanfiction#charles brandon one shot#the tudors#the tudors fanfiction#henry tudor#henry VIII#mary tudor#mary queen of france#henry cavill#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fanfiction#charles brandon x reader#charles brandon x mary tudor#demivampirew
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HCs about Elemmírë?
Oh man, for a character we have next to no information about other than “Vanya” and “sang a really sad song about the Trees,” I have a lot of headcanons for Elemmírë!
First of all, Elemmírë is named after a heavenly body (possibly Arda’s version of Mercury?) and the name is not given in either a masculine or feminine form, so we don’t know Elemmírë’s canon gender. This of course means that Elemmírë is trans, you can’t change my mind! I’ve seen depictions of them as nonbinary, which I love, but personally my Elemmírë is a trans woman!
All the rest of my headcanons are pretty much made up whole cloth :)
I intended to make like, a bullet point list of headcanons, but I ended up referencing my recently created personal timeline of the Years of the Trees and the First Age, and...it kind of expanded into an essay on Elemmírë’s role in the larger story of that verse of mine. So, under the cut is a roughly 2,000 word essay on my take on this blank slate of a character!
~
Elemmírë is one of the Unbegotten elves who awoke at Cuiviénen. When she awoke, everyone assumed she was a male elf, which didn’t really sit right with her but she didn’t know how to express herself at the time. For the first part of her life she lived as a nér.
Elemmírë has a sister*, Calima (one of my OCs). Calima marries an Avar, who she manages to drag with her on the Great Journey despite his reluctance to go West. Right before Ulmo takes the Vanyar and the Noldor to Aman, Calima’s husband leaves her and disappears into Taur-im-Duinath...but not before Calima becomes pregnant. Elemmírë comforts her and supports her through the birth of her child, Elenwë - the first child to be born in Aman.
*(My headcanon around Unbegotten siblings is that some elves woke with soul bonds that connected them to other elves, which while they aren’t genetically related, they consider to be siblings of their fëa. This is the case for Elwë, Olwë, and Elmo; I also gave Nowë (Círdan) and Ingwë OC siblings. Finwë is a loner, which is part of why he’s so concerned about creating and keeping a marriage bond...)
While Ingwë is busy building Tirion with Finwë, his sister-in-law Alcariniel (the mother of Indis; her spouse died on the Great Journey and has yet to be reborn) leads some of the Vanyar to the foot of Taniquetil and founds what will become Valmar. Calima, Elenwë, and Elemmírë go with Alcariniel.
At this time, Elemmírë enters into the service of Varda. She develops a close relationship with her Vala, and feels more comfortable in the beautiful starry robes and among the company of mostly priestesses than she ever did in the more gendered Vanyarin society. She sings and composes hymns to Varda and the heavens.
About a century later, Elemmírë is an established and well-renowned musician in Valmar. It is then that she meets Findis, daughter of Indis, when Findis is visiting Taniquetil with her grandmother Alcariniel. Findis greatly admires Elemmírë’s songs and engages her in a discussion about poetry; the two quickly become friends.
After another hundred years or so, Findis’ half-brother Fëanáro has his fourth child. Finwë invites his whole family to the celebration; Findis now lives in Valmar and does not always attend these begetting day parties, but she happens to be in Tirion for the occasion - with Elemmírë, who tags along to the party.
At the celebration, Makalaurë (a young teen in Elf Years) sings a piece he wrote for his new baby brother, and Elemmírë is greatly impressed by his talent and offers to teach him personally. He’s had music tutors before, but none so renowned, and he is absolutely star-struck. Fëanáro has an inherent distrust of the Vanyar, but he cannot deny his son anything, especially when it comes to furthering his craft, so he agrees to let Elemmírë teach Makalaurë, on the condition that she move to Tirion. Findis offers to move back as well, so her friend won’t be alone; they move in together.
A few years later, Elemmírë takes her star student Makalaurë to Valmar so he can perform at her niece’s 200th begetting day party. This is, of course, Elenwë; Makalaurë is immediately besotted with her, and does his best to impress her. Of course, Elenwë is well into adulthood and Makalaurë is still an awkward adolescent, so nothing ever comes of this, but they do eventually become friends.
All this time, everyone has assumed that Elemmírë is a nér, but with every passing year she becomes more and more certain that is not actually the case. At last she confesses to her dear friend Findis that she thinks she might be a nís, and while Findis isn’t quite sure what that means at first, she’s very supportive and encourages Elemmírë to go to Varda with this revelation.
I do operate in a verse where some homophobia and transphobia exist in Aman, kind of accidently put into place by a well-meaning but ultimately harmful decision by Manwë, but Varda is significantly more chill than her husband. She doesn’t really get what Elemmírë is saying, but she supports her servant’s change in expression. Elven gender roles are pretty loose, so it’s not really that much of a difference, and with Varda’s support Elemmírë feels more confident in herself and comes out to the public.
Most elves, especially the Vanyar, likewise don’t really get it, and privately they still see her as a nér, but there is a firm taboo against rudeness which means they will refer to Elemmírë with the correct pronouns and honorifics and such because it would be incredibly rude not to. The discomfort with someone else’s non-normative expression is easier to deal with than the social impropriety of deliberately refusing to respect someone’s wishes about their personal identity.
This, along with Varda’s kind-of-confused-but-she’s-still-got-the-spirit support of Elemmírë means it’s a pretty smooth transition process for her. Since her name isn’t gendered, she decides to keep it, and she is much happier now that she can express her true self. She also has a staunch ally in Findis, who she has recently begun courting.
Again, there is some homophobia in my verse, and two níssi in a relationship is generally frowned upon, but the half-acceptance of Elemmírë’s gender allows them to exploit a loophole in that particular Law/Custom. Manwë, at least, still sees Elemmírë as a nér, and so doesn’t see anything wrong with her dating Findis. It’s not the ideal situation, but Elemmírë and Findis aren’t really the “fight the system” type, so they’re content to live with the happiness they’ve been allowed.
Eventually, Makalaurë reaches his first coming of age** and Elemmírë takes her student on a tour of all Eldamar to show off how exceptional a musician he has become. He is declared a master singer, and leaves Elemmírë’s side to pursue mastery in instruments, beginning with the harp. His teacher couldn’t be more proud.
**(In my headcanon, elves have two coming-of-age ceremonies: one when they reach age 50, and are considered physically mature and old enough to be given more freedoms in their decisions, including now being of a socially acceptable age to start dating; and the other at age 100, where they are considered a Full Adult and able to marry. Sometimes elves marry younger than that, but it isn’t super common. Age pretty much stops mattering, especially when it comes to age gaps in relationships, when an elf is about 150.)
Not long after this, Elemmírë and Findis get married! Makalaurë performs his then-masterpiece at their wedding. Also at the wedding, Findekáno is caught up in all the glorious romance, and the possibilities of same-gender marriage now that two níssi (one a princess!) can be wed, and confesses the depth of his love for Maitimo. Maitimo...immediately panics and brings up all the reasons why their love is doomed, how their aunts are the exception and not the rule and besides there’s that loophole they’re taking advantage of that doesn’t really work for néri like us - but notably does not deny that he feels the same way. Findekáno is heartbroken by the rejection; Maitimo is terrified of his feelings and distances himself from his beloved cousin for a time.
But of course that doesn’t last long - and it’s at the celebration of the birth of Laurefindil, Findis and Elemmírë’s son, that Maitimo brings himself to reconcile with Findekáno...platonically. Of course. Until a few months later where he just can’t take it anymore and breaks down and confesses he can’t deny his feelings any longer, and they get together at long last.
Findis, Elemmírë, and Laurefindil return to Valmar and settle down there. Laurefindil is buds with both his Vanyarin cousin Elenwë and his oodles of Noldorin cousins. At his first coming of age celebration, he introduces his cousin Elenwë (on Elemmírë’s side) to his cousin Turukáno (on Findis’ side), and Turukáno immediately falls madly in love and begins some intense pining that will rival even his older brother’s romantic dramatics.
As strife grows among the Noldor, Findis and Elemmírë distance themselves from Tirion as much as they can; Makalaurë is pretty much the only Finwëan who is allowed to visit them. However, Laurefindil misses his Noldorin cousins and, after his second coming of age, chooses to move to Tirion and join his grandfather Finwë’s court. He becomes even closer to Turukáno (who has by now married Elenwë) and is very loyal to his older cousin.
At the Darkening, Elemmírë is deeply grieved at the destruction of the Two Trees, and it is then that she composes her most famous song, the Aldudénië, “Lament for the Trees.” Her grief is compounded when her son chooses to go into exile with his Noldorin kin - and, almost worse, when her niece Elenwë chooses to leave as well.
Elenwë is the only Vanya who leaves (well, the only Vanya who is fully culturally Vanyarin without any Noldorin ancestry), mostly because she cannot bear to be separated from her husband and young daughter, but also because she knows the story of her Avarin father who stayed behind in Endórë and hopes that she will meet him on the hither shore. (Unfortunately, she perishes crossing the Ice. Idril will eventually meet her maternal grandfather, but not until just before she and Tuor sail West. Elenwë is reborn in Aman shortly after the founding of Gondolin; she reunites with her Vanyarin family and with her good friend Amárië.)
I don’t have a whole lot of headcanons for Elemmírë and Findis during the events of the First Age; they live mostly a quiet life. I think Elemmírë rededicates herself to the service of Varda, and pleads with her Vala to show mercy for the Noldor in their need. (Perhaps that helped to convince Varda’s husband to send an eagle to Thangorodrim?)
When they hear of Laurefindil’s death in the Fall of Gondolin (because of course Glorfindel followed his favorite cousin Turgon to his hidden city, and got a noble house out of it!), Elemmírë and Findis grieve his loss all over again. They don’t know how long it will be before his rebirth, and they soon decide to have another child together. This is their daughter, Faniel, who grows up on stories about her brother’s bravery.
Eventually Glorfindel is reborn, and he has a few good centuries in Aman with his family (and his husband Ecthelion, who he finally gets to marry; they had gotten betrothed the day before Gondolin fell, RIP) before the Valar send him back to Middle-earth to play the hero again. Elemmírë and Findis are once again heartbroken to lose him, but they are at the same time incredibly proud of their son for his bravery and dedication to all things good in the world. This time, he leaves with the blessing of Varda, his mother’s patron Vala, and a promise that he will return when his task is complete. He does, but not until the Fourth Age, when he sails back to Valinor with Elladan and Elrohir!
#silm#silmarillion#headcanons#elemmire#findis#findimmire#trans tolkien#glorfindel#elenwe#oc calima#maglor#varda#ataquenta#tefain nin#my writing#anon#answers#oc alcariniel#comings and goings#stage fright#this got long WOW#also! some background russingon :)
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Scream Out ‘What Will Save Us?’
Pairing: Frank Iero x Reader
Genre: Angst
Summary: Written for Gothtober 2020, Day 15. Prompt: “Catharsis.”
Your band just broke up, and you’re trying to force yourself be okay with that. But, when you visit Frank, at his home in New Jersey, he advises you to be honest with your feelings. You find that he has some things to get off his chest, too.
It had been six months now, since My Chemical Romance broke up. You hadn’t done much since then, except move back to your house in New Jersey, and….sit there. For the last eleven years of your life, you’d drummed for a living, and life had moved to a frenetic pace. There was always another city to travel to, another show to play. But, now? Life was suddenly at a standstill.
You didn’t have to do anything for a living now, you supposed. The royalties alone, could probably sustain you, for years to come. Perhaps a millionaire like yourself, had no right to complain. Bullets You would, after all, kill to have Current You’s problems.
But, having lived at both extremes, you found that being functionally homeless, in a dirty van with your four best friends, was more enjoyable, than being all alone, in this spotless mansion. You hadn’t joined My Chemical Romance to make money. There were other things that mattered more - the joy of spending time with friends, who slowly became more like family. The creative fulfillment, of writing a piece of music, and then having ten thousand fans sing along with the tune. These were the things, that made your life meaningful.
These were the things, that you had now lost.
The Way brothers - who, up until recently, had felt like your own brothers - were still residing in Los Angeles. Ray, too, had stayed on the West Coast. You hadn’t seen them since the decision was made, to disband. You weren’t sure that you even wanted to.
But Frank - good, old, loyal Frank, who had known you longer than any of them - was merely a few miles down the road. Perhaps today was a good day to pay him a visit.
You called him on your cell, and he answered the phone, almost immediately. Like you, he probably had nothing better to do.
“Hey, Y/N,” Frank said in a tired voice. “How are you doing?”
“Alright,” you shrugged. “Just bored, I guess. How are you?”
“Not so good,” Frank confessed. “I’ve been having, like, the worst stomachaches.”
“Oh, no,” you said sympathetically. “Do you want me to bring you some medicine?”
“The doc says I have a bacterial overgrowth of the small intestine,” Frank explained.
“What does that mean?” you asked.
“It means your drug-store Pepto ain’t gonna do shit for me,” Frank chuckled bitterly. “I got prescription pills for it, but it still hurts like a bitch. Some company might take my mind off the pain, though.”
“So...I can come over?” you asked hopefully.
“Please do,” Frank agreed. “It’ll at least give me a reason, to get out of bed.”
You chose not to mention that, at two o’clock in the afternoon, you had yet to find a reason to get out of bed yourself.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Frank’s house was nowhere near the main road. You had to drive through nearly half a mile of trees, just to reach his front door. He had selected this property partially because he loved nature - and partially because hated people.
You supposed you couldn’t blame him, for trying to avoid having nosy fans show up on his doorstep. The only person who always seemed welcome on his doorstep, no matter the hour, was you.
You found him sitting on his front steps, his acoustic guitar in his hands. The melody he was playing drifted over the air, as you got out of the car, and approached him.
“Is that...Disenchanted?” you recognized instantly.
“,,,..Yeah,” Frank sighed, his inked hands ceasing their strumming. “Hi, Y/N.”
“Hi, Frankie,” you frowned. “What made you decide to play that one today?”
“I don’t know,” Frank said sadly. “Doesn’t it feel strange to you? Knowing that we’re never going to play that song onstage again?”
“Or any of them,” you noted. “If I had known that set at Bamboozle would be the last gig we ever played, I would have tried harder, to make it count.”
“You and me both,” Frank said wistfully. “But, anyway….it’s a nice day. Do you want to take a walk with me?”
“Sure,” you nodded, extending your hand to help him up. “As long as you’re feeling up to it.”
“I’ll be fine,” Frank assured you, groaning as he stood. “C’mon.”
You followed him, around the house, through his backyard, and from there, into the woods, that sat behind his home. The trees were beginning to lose their leaves, and the sky has turned overcast, and grey. Summer, you supposed, was just another thing that wouldn’t last.
“Careful,” Frank warned, “there’s a brook up ahead.”
You saw that was what he said was true. The small body of water separated the hill from the valley, in the same way that a garotte wire separated a head from a neck.
“Take my hand,” Frank offered. “I don’t want you to fall.”
You found yourself blushing, as his calloused fingers, intertwined with your own. He pulled you up onto a rock, in the center of the brook.
“Are we going to have to jump?” you guessed.
“Yeah, but don’t worry,” Frank said softly, “I got you.”
He leapt from the rock, to the other side of the brook. Still holding hands, you leapt with him. Just as he’d promised, you made it to the other side safely.
“It’s just a little further now,” Frank assured you.
“What is?” you wondered.
“You’ll see,” he replied cryptically. He could have let go of your hand, but instead, he kept it held tightly in his own. You didn’t mind.
“....Whoa,” you gasped, as you realized, that you’d arrived at your destination. You were at the top of a cliff. From here, you could see the whole city, stretched out before you.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Frank admired.
“Yes!” you gasped. “Thank you for bringing up here! The view was totally worth the hike.”
“I’m lucky as hell, to have a hidden gem like this, on my property,” Frank confessed. “I like to come up here sometimes, when I need to think.”
“....What have you been thinking about lately?” you asked, sitting down on a boulder.
“What happened with the band, of course,” Frank admitted, sitting down beside you. “I just….I don’t know. Gerard’s decision felt so sudden. It was like having the wind knocked out of me.”
“Yeah,” you recalled. “It was like….it wasn’t fun anymore to him, so he just….dropped it. Like it was nothing.”
“I’m not gonna pretend, that being in My Chem, was sunshine and roses all the time,” Frank acknowledged. “Sometimes, touring sucked.”
“It did,” you admitted. “I hated the early bus calls, and the jet lag, that never seemed to go away. But, I don’t know. It was worth it, to go through all that, if it meant I would end my day, on a stage with you.”
“I guess it wasn’t worth it to him anymore,” Frank frowned. “But, what can you do? You can’t continue a band, without its frontman.”
“I guess our time was just up,” you shrugged. “All we can do, is move on.”
“I know it was messing up his mental health, trying to write the new record,” Frank said, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “It’s not right for us to ask him to keep doing something that’s hurting him.”
“You’re right,” you sighed. “It’s not fair, to risk causing him another relapse, or something, just because we thought the album could’ve gone somewhere.”
“But now, you and me?” Frank grumbled, lighting a cigarette, and taking a drag. “We’re not gonna go fucking anywhere.”
“We’re right back where we started,” you realized. “Stuck in the same little town in New Jersey, where it all began.”
You and Frank, had been in another local band, called Pencey Prep. That band had broken up, and then Gerard, had asked you two, to join My Chemical Romance. Even before you’d become a member, you’d known just from listening to the demos, that this band would be something special. They’d captivated every soul, in the shitty dive bar, where you’d gone to see them play.
After you and Frank joined their ranks, things began to pick up speed so quickly. Local bars, turned into clubs on the other side of the state. And then you’d attracted the interest of a major label. And then, the next thing you knew, you were playing in fucking Japan. Clubs turned into arenas. Obscurity turned into infamy. You’d done things, you never thought, you would have an opportunity to do. It was a wild ride. And it was….over now.
“It makes me want to scream sometimes,” you said honestly.
“So, do it,” Frank said, exhaling smoke.
“....What?” you blinked, staring back at him.
“Go on and scream,” he suggested. “I mean, we’re in the middle of nowhere. Nobody’s going to hear you, except for me.”
“You’re serious?” you gaped.
“Yeah,” Frank nodded. “Honestly? I think it would be cathartic.”
He had a point - you’d been trying to hold a lot of emotions inside you, since everything went down. Maybe what you really needed, was to let them out.
You went and stood, on the edge of the cliff, and looked out, onto the horizon. You took a deep breath, and tilted your head back.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!” you cried.
You turned back, and saw that Frank was laughing.
“....Did that feel good?” he grinned.
“....Honestly, yeah, it did!” you admitted. It felt even better, to see a smile on his face, for the first time today.
“You should just...feel what you feel, Y/N,” Frank advised. “You say we’re supposed to move on, and maybe that’s the narrative the fans want to hear. Like, they’re sad that they’ll never hear their favorite band live again. And it makes them feel better, to think, well, the band members did this, because it’s what made them the happiest.”
“But, we don’t feel happy,” you argued. “At least, not all of us do.”
“What do you feel?” Frank asked seriously.
“I feel….lost,” you described. “Like, I don’t know what my next move is supposed to be. The whole world knew me as My Chemical Romance’s drummer, for pretty much all of my twenties. Now, I’m hitting my thirties and...I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where we go from here.”
“Well, I know that I want to keep making music,” Frank decided. “Even if nobody else wants to hear it, I’ll play it for myself.”
“I want to hear it,” you said seriously. “Did you write something recently?”
“Yeah,” Frank said shyly, stubbing his cigarette out into the dirt. “I actually did start writing a song, the other day.”
“Play it for me,” you pleaded.
“I don’t know,” Frank blushed. “I wrote some lyrics, but….you know I don’t have the gift for singing, that Gerard does.”
“You sang in Pencey,” you reminded him.
“Yeah, that was twelve years ago!” Frank scoffed. “Who knows if I even remember how?”
“I know you can do it,” you encouraged him.
“The lyrics, they’re not all that nice,” Frank warned. “I didn’t write them to be radio friendly. I just wrote them, because I needed to get the thoughts out of my head.”
“You needed your catharsis,” you nodded understandingly.
“Yeah,” Frank sighed. “But….if you really want to hear it, Y/N, I’ll play it for you.”
He took out his guitar, and set it on his lap. Hesitant fingers plucked the strings. You listened, with rapt attention, as he began to sing:
Some things change but they don't get better
I'm so sick and so tired of trying to tell them that
I'll never do it, no I'll never make it alone
But pay no mind, it fades in time
Don't we all?
Someone I love threw me away
Someone I love threw me away
Someone I love threw me away
But I don't mind, no I don't mind at all
“That’s bullshit, Frank,” you interrupted. “You do mind.”
“.....Of course I fucking mind,” Frank snapped. He looked up from his guitar, and you realized, that he had tears in his eyes.
You moved over to where he sat, and pulled him into a hug.
“It’s okay,” you told him gently.
“It’s not,” Frank shook his head. “I gave my blood, sweat, and tears….my heart and my soul, to that band. I thought you and I were going to be in My Chemical Romance for the rest of our lives.”
“What, like Mick Jagger?” you tried to smile. “Rocking out, even in his sixties?”
“I don’t know,” Frank said, burying his face in his hands. “Maybe I’m the stupid one, for thinking that something like that, could last forever.”
“You’re not stupid,” you said softly. “The truth is….I wanted it to last forever, too. It was the best thing I’d ever done. And now, I don’t know what else I can do with the rest of my life, that could even come close.”
“If I decided to play that song, in front of other people, someday,” Frank asked, “would you play the drums for me?”
“Of course,” you promised. “Frank, I’d jump at the chance to get onstage with you again. You should know that.”
“I feel like I don’t know anything anymore!” Frank said vulnerably. “Everything I thought I could count on, is slipping through my fingers. I feel lost. Just like you said. And I’m aching all the time, Y/N. What if you’re the next thing, that I lose?”
“I’ll never leave you, Frank,” you vowed. “It’s been you and me, from the very beginning. I couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t have you in it….in one way, or another.”
“You met me when you joined Pencey. But now, for the first time in my entire life, you’re not my band mate anymore,” Frank choked. “So…what am I to you?”
“You’re my best friend,” you whispered, pulling him close. “And you could be more than that, if you wanted to.”
“Wh-What are you saying?” Frank gasped.
“Frank….,” you took a deep breath. “The truth is, that I always wanted you. I never told you how I felt, because I thought, if we got into a relationship, and broke up, it would destroy our ability to work together. But….you’re right. We’re not bandmates anymore. So, I have nothing left to lose. I...I love you.”
“You….love me?” Frank repeated, eyes wide.
“Yes.” You put it all out there. “Yes, Frank, you’re the one I love. And if you would have me, I swear to you, I would never throw you away.”
Frank surged forward, grabbing you by the collar, and pulling you in for a passionate kiss. Your startled mouth was suddenly full of his tongue. It felt so good.
“....Frankie!” you gasped, pulling away. “You...you actually want me back?”
“Of course I do,” Frank breathed. “It drives me absolutely fucking crazy, that we’ve both been burying our feelings this whole time, to protect a career, that no longer exists.”
“...Then at least I still have you,” you whispered, and pulled him in again. He tasted like smoke and desperation.
His body pressed against yours as he kissed you harder, pushing you down, against the hard rocks. His hands found the buttons of your blouse.
“....Frank,” you stopped him. “We should go back down, to your house, if we’re going to do this.”
“You’re right,” he chuckled. “My bed is a lot softer.”
“Take me there,” you begged, laying your lips on him again.
“Oh,” Frank promised, “I’ll take you all night.”
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Memento - (Ahsoka and Vader’s thoughts at the end of TCW oneshot)
****
Ahsoka regarded the saber in her hand. Smudged, dented. Its weight sodden against her palm, a sombre reminder of what was no more. As the dust settled around her, the crudely painted helmets of her squad served as the only reminder of what had transpired. Jesse, loyal til the end. Forced to kill his friends, willing to die because of one fatal final order. Behind her, she felt Rex’s forlorn eyes on her. The smell of embers and ashes burned her nostrils, the crackling of burning wires and melting durasteel dying away with the winds mournful wail.
What was to become of her now? The saber was her only tie to her roots, to her legacy. Was she to remain a fugitive forever? If the Jedi had all been targeted, surely any stragglers would be hunted down.
The saber. Her last tie to the order. To her upbringing, her religion, her family. To Anakin. Anakin, who had saved both her weapons; hopeful, perhaps naively so, that she would return to the Jedi. To him. Where she belonged. Anakin, who had been so excited to see her again. Anakin, who had eagerly approached her only for her to shoot him down. Anakin, who was only going to save the Chancellor, to finally end the war. The war was over, but at what cost? Was Anakin even still alive? There were so many things she’d meant to tell him, how she wished she’d left master Yoda with a message. He had inquired, and yet she’d hesitated.
What about Maul’s supposed visions? Anakin was groomed to be the Sith Lord’s new apprentice. Darth Sidious. The Chancellor, now Emperor. No. Anakin was kind, and good, and brave. He’d never fall so far, never stoop so low. Ahsoka refused to even entertain the idea, refused to imagine a world in which invincible Anakin could succumb to darkness. She’d felt his despair, she’d felt the shrill cry through the Force. She’d sensed his conflict, his fear, his pain - and then he was gone.
She reached out, but found nothing as if grasping at straws. Emptiness, and a raw wound where their connection had been bluntly severed. Anakin would never purposely shut her out, never willingly break their bond. That left only one option.
Sighing, body sore, aching and weary from the struggle to survive; Ahsoka admired the saber. Where its twin had disappeared to, she couldn’t say. Lost somewhere in the turmoil, as she and Rex fought tooth and nail to persevere. Once its blade had been a vibrant green, now a royal blue. Anakin’s doing. She hadn’t minded. It had felt like a gesture of affection, of appreciation. Something to tie her closer to her former master, the man who had become like her older brother. Closer to Obi-Wan, too.
What about him? Had he managed to get to Anakin in time? She couldn’t sense him either, the Dark Side streaming through the living Force like an infection, like a festering, deadly disease. Rotting all that was good and warm away, leaving her to fumble blind in the vast darkness of infinity.
Ahsoka stroked the pad of her thumb over the ignition button, faltering for a moment. The saber had been a gift, a token. It was her life, as Anakin had once said - something he, in turn, had been taught by Obi-Wan. Still, if she kept it as a memento, allowing it to be a weakness, it may do more harm than good. A lightsaber was a Jedi’s weapon, and as far as she was aware, all Jedi must die. If she left the saber, perhaps - if it were found - she would be presumed dead? Swallowing stubbornly against the ball of unshed tears lodged in her throat, she took in the weight of the saber that had saved her life uncountable times in her hand. Allowed herself to think of Anakin, of how she owed her life to him. Of how she wished she’d been able to come to his aid. They were supposed to have more time.
Hand going limp, Ahsoka let the saber hilt fall to the rough ground with a dull, metallic clunking noise. It rolled over and came to a skidded halt, and she shut her eyes tightly together; lips pursed with the last of her resolve. The Jedi were gone. The Republic was gone. The clones, the entire 332nd wiped out in an instant. Master Yoda, Master Plo, Master Sinube, Master Kenobi.
Anakin.
Tipping her head back, Ahsoka’s chin quivered as she regarded the billowing smoke spilling from the ruins of the star destroyer that had become the tomb of her friends. The tomb of her past, of her present; of her reality. She felt the burn behind her eyes, the bridge of her nose red hot and prickly. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Blinking rapidly, she slowly shifted to turn her back on the rows of graves she and Rex had dug for his brothers. Their brothers. Avoiding another glance at the carnage, at her discarded Jedi identity, she let the makeshift cemetery fade away in the distance. She was alone now, and so was Rex. Perhaps the last of the Jedi, as well as the last clone with his free will intact - the only clone without Jedi blood on his hands.
At least they were alone together. As she dragged her feet up to join Rex by the beat up bomber that had become their saving grace, his bruised face seemed hollow. His half smile was weak, dishonest. An attempt at calming her, at reassuring her. Watching his hollow dark eyes, still glassy as he mourned his fallen brothers; she caved. Warm, salty tears rolled down her cheeks as she hid her face in her trembling hands and cried.
****
Vader regarded the saber in his hand. It was smaller, lighter than he remembered it. Frail, fragile. Snow and ice clinging to its freezing durasteel exterior; even as he used a still somewhat clumsy hand to brush it off. It gleamed in the cold sunlight, air crisp with the howling of the wind. The Jedi had meant for this specific saber to be a gift, and a plea. A plea for his lost padawan to return to him, to the Jedi order. The Jedi had been cowards, traitors and liars. A sect, envious of The Jedi’s powers, of his capabilities, of his potential. They had been foolish, and naive. Backwards, stuck in a bygone era. The padawan had been the first to fall by the wayside, their first oversight, their first sacrifice. The Jedi had tried to dissuade her, begging her to stay. He hadn’t betrayed her, he’d believed in her innocent. He’d been the one to clear her name. Still, she abandoned him. Still, she thought only of herself.
The Jedi couldn’t be blamed for the order, and their hubris. But the padawan had been his responsibility. He had failed her, just as his old master had failed him. A lineage of tragedy. The padawan wasn’t a Jedi, not anymore. Still, the lone saber and its dented, damaged exterior spoke a painful truth where it lay discarded among the wreckage of a republic star destroyer. Lonely, forgotten. Left behind.
The padawan would never let it go, would never willingly abandon such an important part of her identity. If she had lived, it would have brought her comfort, reminding her of The Jedi - a foolish young man that Vader refused to admit was all too present. His ghost, and the mistakes he’d made, haunting his nightmares; his every waking moment imprisoned by the chains he himself had forged. The padawan would want to keep the saber, to remember her master as he was - unaware of what he had become.
Shifting, Vader took the dainty saber hilt awkwardly in both hands, silently admiring its familiar silhouette as he flicked the ignition. The blue blade appeared with the expected hiss, slightly wobbly but intact. The padawan’s eyes had spoken of her gratitude when she’d accepted it; taking the gift The Jedi had reserved only for her. He’d hoped she may return, even when his master had half convinced him to give up. Perhaps it had been a self indulgent decision to change the colour from green to blue, the work it had taken not insignificant. It had felt like an homage, a sign of respect. A way for the padawan to remember him, wherever she may wander.
Vader hadn’t executed the order. The Jedi would have maintained the belief that the padawan might have survived, his naivety a luxury Vader could not afford. He knew better. Time had gone by in a flash, and yet it seemed to drag painfully slowly on. The padawan was no Jedi, but it wouldn’t have mattered to the clones. The Jedi would have rushed to find her remains, urgent to locate her final resting place. As Vader gazed solemnly at the snow covered ruins that marked the padawans grave, reaching out one final time with an uncertainty - fearful, perhaps of his master’s ire, perhaps of what he may find - all he could grasp was emptiness. A piercing, sullen nothingness as he stared wordlessly at the sky through the red tinted lenses of his face plate.
When the war is over, The Jedi had thought. The padawan was to go to Mandalore, to capture Maul. He was to go to Coruscant, to rescue the Chancellor. The Sith Lord. Palpatine. Peace, he had fought for. Peace was all he’d ever wanted. Peace, as he left the order behind. Peace, as he and Padmé raised their baby on Naboo, by the lake as she had wished. His old master perhaps visiting, being the brother and father The Jedi had blindly sought approval and praise from. Prosperity. The padawan returned to the life where she belonged.
As snow crystals danced past his vision, the heavy cape he wore following the same silent tune; Vader turned off the saber. Another soft hiss, and he clutched the weapon harshly; feeling the durasteel creak and protest against the might of the mechno that had replaced his dismembered limbs. The padawan was gone, there was no other explanation.
Why had he needed the confirmation to begin with? The Jedi and his past meant nothing to him. The padawan and her sarcastic remarks, her coy expression, her jests and jabs. A hand on his shoulder for support, the way she spoke The Jedi’s name when she was concerned for his well being - a scowl on her face, her lips pursed. Perhaps it was for the best. She would never need to come to terms with the events that had triggered the purge, would never be forced to reevaluate her perception of her master. He would forever remain a beacon of hope, a hero, someone to look up to. The Jedi would remain untainted in her mind, for she was no longer alive to learn the truth.
Vader glanced down at the saber still in his grip, almost fully engulfed by his large, gloved hand. He should leave it were he found it, it was of no use to him. Still, he found himself unable to let the weapon go. Opening his hand; he regarded the thin, jagged dents and scrapes travelling along its once pristine surface. A melancholy swept over him, making his stomach churn and he snarled silently at his own weakness. He was better than this; he was stronger than The Jedi. He would not succumb to sentimentality, would not falter. Where had that left him? Anger simmering just beneath the surface, bitter and infernal; Vader turned his back on the poetic scenery.
Still, as he trudged back the way he had come through the snow - he held in his hand the lightsaber that had once belonged to Ahsoka Tano.
****
I got feels after watching the mastercut of Revenge of the Sith and The Siege of Mandalore remastered into one movie, and I was reminded once again of the painful ending of TCW. Hence, I wanted to write a little fic dedicated to it - also first new fic I write and post since I was banned from my old acc. Anyway, enjoy - if you can call it that!
Ao3 link below:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647357
#ahsoka tano#ahsoka#tano#anakin skywalker#anakin#skywalker#darth vader#vader#lord vader#star wars#sw#the clone wars#tcw#swtcw#season 7#s7#siege of mandalore#order 66#revenge of the sith#rots#prequels#prequel era#pt#clone wars era#canon#matt lanter#hayden christensen#ashley eckstein#dave filoni#skyguy
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Can I get reactions hc for la squadra finding out their fem teammate is a single mom, just soemthing fluffy and nice. You don't have to do this, thank you for your time ^^
Hi there, dear! Awwwww, it’s really a sweet and cute prompt :,) Here we go, sure! I hope you’ll like it :3
La Squadra di Esecuzione find out that their new teammate is a single mom
(Under the cut for length!)
Risotto Nero
While he doesn’t actively investigate on his members’ private life, Risotto trusts them to come to him if they are affected by something that may jeopardize their performance on workplace. They are a hitmen team and, as such, they can rely just on each other; Risotto always makes it extremely clear to the newer members, and he had told so also to the new girl of the team. If there was something that worried her she could talk to him, and he would have done whatever he could to help her. She knew it, but still, she waited a little; her secret was too important, and she wanted to be more than sure that she could trust her teammates, her leader in particular.
So, when she felt comfortable enough, she told Risotto that she needed to talk to him about a delicate topic. Risotto’s mind was already racing, when she entered again his office, but not alone. Risotto’s perplexed red eyes met a kid’s ones, and the kid was watching him with curiosity and wonder. She explained him that the kid was her child, and that she was taking care of them all by herself, as their father, well… when he found out she was pregnant, he thought well to run away. Risotto felt an indignant rage building up in his chest; how could someone abandon his own child and partner?! Well, now she wasn’t alone anymore. He promised her to help her as much as he could: a salary increase, to provide to the child’s needs, a safe house, and then -and this made her jaw drop- he would have taken care of the child while she was in mission. They were a team; they always got each other’s back.
The kid absolutely loves to stay with “uncle Risotto”. They never had a male figure in their life, it had always been just them and their mom, so, when they saw that Risotto was, behind that intimidating face, quiet and soft, they cling to him like their life depended from it. They were a quiet and good kid, and Risotto liked to spend time with them; while he was doing his paperwork, the kid read their books or draw on their notebook. In secret, Risotto had even introduced them to few metal songs, beaming in joy when he saw how much they were enjoying it! Soon, they were united by a strong and deep bond that always made F/N softly smile; she was so happy to see her child happy… it was the only thing that mattered.
Prosciutto
Prosciutto is usually the one assigned to the rookies’ training, as Risotto is already too busy with leadership, missions and paperwork. And so he was responsible also for F/N’s training; not that she needed it… she was already skilled. Prosciutto’s task was a mere surveillance on her first missions, to be sure she could do her job in the most discreet way, as it was expected from a hitman. Being her trainer, he also cared about certain aspects of her private life, such as her house -he had to be sure it was safe-, and eventual relatives or people that could jeopardize the secrecy of her job. She came to trust him, the more they trained together; he cared for her not only as her trainer, but also as her friend. That’s why she chose to let him know her most precious secret; she knew that he would have treasured it with his own life.
She asked him to meet her at the nearby park. While he was waiting for her, he wondered what kind of secret she had to reveal: a secret husband? Maybe she had another identity? He was still pondering about it when he heard her steps coming near. And she wasn’t alone… there were more steps, lighter, like a child’s ones. He lifted his eyes and he saw her -it was so strange to see her in a civilian outfit- and, hand in hand with her, a child, who was maybe five, six years old. He looked at the child, curious, elaborating their presence. So they were F/N’s secret… while the child was playing on the swing, she told him the whole story, how she got pregnant with her child when she was just a teenager, how her family and her -by now ex- boyfriend basically left her alone… how she managed to take care of her child. It hadn’t been easy, of course, but here they were. Her child was healthy and happy… she couldn’t ask for more. And she hadn’t to; she was part of the Squadra Esecuzioni, now, and Prosciutto would have never left her alone. They were family. He planned with her a new schedule that could allow her to spend more time with her child, and then, when she had to go on missions, he offered to babysit the child. No one of the family was left behind.
The child was happy to stay with big brother Prosciutto, when mom was away. Prosciutto has always been good with children, and he shows it with F/N’s child too; he manages to keep them busy, to always make them do their homeworks and then to eat all their vegetables. They really dream to be, one day, as cool and strong as big brother Prosciutto!
Pesci
Among the members, Pesci was the softest. And, as -now ex- rookie, he could sympathize with F/N. He still remembered how scared and disoriented he was when he had first joined… So, when F/N joined their ranks, he was here to support her as much as he could. He was the first who reached out to befriend her; surviving as hitwoman without any bond wasn’t easy. It tended to… drive someone’s crazy, and he didn’t want it for her. She was a bit suspicious, in the beginning; she had thought that entering a team of assassins would have been to basically enter into a merciless competition between each other, a lair full of wolves… but it wasn’t so, and Pesci had proved it. She appreciated how supportive he was… he was the first real friend he had had in ages. She trusted him, and she felt that she could safely inform him of her most important secret, what she had protected with her nails and teeth since her little, sweet secret was born. She knew that Pesci too would have treasure it as much as she had always done.
She invited him to her house, officially to take a coffee together. Pesci was a bit nervous; he had seen the light in her eyes… he knew she wanted to tell him something, but he absolutely didn’t know what. When, after ringing the doorbell, a small child came to open the door, his jaw almost dropped. And who was this kid? Maybe… maybe they were the “thing” she had to reveal him? He recovered quickly from his shock, and gently smiled at the kid, following them to the living room, where their mom was putting two coffee mugs on the small table. Pesci sat down with her and, while the child was playing with their toys, she told him how she got pregnant with her kid, and then was left alone by everyone; how she joined the Squadra basically to earn enough money to guarantee her child a safe and good future. Pesci was touched by her story, and promised to help her as much as he could, being, for example, her child’s babysitter when she was away.
Pesci’s softness and kindness really made their way onto the kid. The child loved big brother Pesci: he was a gentle giant who always played with them whenever they asked him to, and he was their mom’s best friend. And F/N couldn’t be happier: he child was happy, and they had a wonderful bond with Pesci… yes, entering the Squadra had been a good idea, after all.
Formaggio
Formaggio is always ready to befriend new people, of course if they are of his likings. And F/N absolutely is: she’s smart, clever, and she could beat him in a fair wrestling arm match. He wants to be her best friend! And, in the dark world she decided to dive in, a friend like him was what she needed: someone who could still make her laugh, who could help her to forget, at least for a little while, what she did for living. She knew that, even when he was a little tipsy after few beers, he could still keep important secrets to himself, and the one she wanted to reveal him was really, really important… her life was enclosed in that secret. After a first period of pondering and uncertainty, she decided to make him part of the secret too. Now she knew that she could trust him with all her heart, as he had shown more than once to be a good and loyal friend. The world was dark and horrible… she also needed someone who could take care of secret, if… well, if a mission didn’t go as it should. And she trusted Formaggio to do so.
They met at his flat, as it was the nearest to the supermarket where she went to do groceries. When he went to open the door, the last thing he imagined to see was a small child hand in hand with F/N. What the hell…?! He let them come in, checking that no one had seen or followed them. Then, after turning on the TV on a random cartoon channel, to distract the child, Formaggio asked her explanations. Who was that kid? Was really hers? And, well… where was the father? After hearing her murmured explanation, that the child’s father was an alcoholic who beat her and that she had finally left him when her child was just born, Formaggio was fuming. He knew how it felt growing up with an alcoholic and violent father… he was just glad she had found the strength to leave him and to protect her child. And he wanted to help her; he couldn’t leave her friend alone with a child… yes, he wasn’t expert of childcaring, but at least he could do something, like babysitting them! It was better than nothing!
And the kid really loves his new uncle. He’s funny, he teaches him funny tricks, and he watches cartoons with them! He’s awesome! The kid never knew their father, but, sometimes, they wish that Formaggio was their real father. They dream to be as awesome as him, when they grow up!
Melone
Melone is not an easy person to approach, nor he’s good at befriending people. He’s by now too used to wear the mask of the “weirdo scientist” that, sometimes, it’s even hard to remember how he is for real. However, F/N hadn’t prejudices toward him, and she was quite intuitive and sensitive, enough to catch a glimpse of the true Melone who was hiding behind the mask. With time, and seeing that she was still kind and talkative even when anyone else would have just left without turning back, he started to warm up to her, to slowly but steadily leave the mask behind. F/N was pleasantly surprised to see that, when he was allowed to, Melone was way better than how he usually presented himself; yes, he was still a bit weird, but who wasn’t so, in the Squadra? In Melone, she found a good friend, someone curious and intelligent to talk to. And she could see that he was good at keeping secrets; his weirdo attitude helped a lot. Since he was her best friend and, she had seen, he was good with kids -even if his “kids” were little murderous stands-, and, well, she needed a backup, in case the worst happened… so, she decided to tell him the truth about her too, to take off the mask as he had done for her.
They met at her house. The moment Melone entered, he could tell immediately that a kid was living in that house. And he was right; after a little, a little kid bounced toward him and F/N, asking her if they could have a little ice cream, with big eyes and an adorable pout. Before the kid, after their mom’s “no”, could throw a tantrum, Melone proposed to make all together fruity icicles; in this way, the kid got distracted, had fun and ate something healthier than ice cream. F/N could just smile, while watching Melone interacting with the child: he really was good with them… while the kid was busy eating his icicle, she told him her story, how she got pregnant with her kid when she was barely a eighteen years old girl, how she was left alone… Melone listened to her in silence, grimacing. How cruel… he turned to her, promising to help her as much as he could and, while he was saying so, the kid come to him, hugging his waist and thanking him for teaching them how to make icicles. She could just smile again; well… it seemed that her kid had already accepted Melone in the family!
As the kid had showed since the very first day, they adored Melone. He was good at making them do their homework while keeping it fun; for him, learning shouldn’t be a tedious and monotonous task, but something interesting and funny! And Melone, since he started to babysit them, felt lighter, happier; it was wonderful to take care of someone, for once, and not to plan the next murder…
Illuso
As “official” spy of the team, Illuso had the task to investigate on the new members, in case there could be something that could put them or the entire team at risk. Risotto trusted him enough not to ask detailed reports, knowing that, in case, Illuso would have told him everything. And he was right; Illuso responded better to trust than to fear, and, until now, he had never disappointed his leader. Until he was told to investigate on F/N, their new teammate. He hadn’t found anything strange, for a while; she had a normal and quiet routine, she never showed signs that could make him think she was going to betray them… her behaviour was impeccable even during missions. But there was something that bugged him… he hadn’t still told to Risotto, as it was much his guts talking than evidences, and, also, F/N, whom he had befriended, seemed to treasure that secret. But it wasn’t something that could affect the team’s safety… then what was that? He had come to trust her, so he would have waited for her to finally tell him.
And the moment came when October was just starting; she had invited him to a park near her house -closing an eye on the fact that Illuso knew perfectly where she lived-, so they could talk in peace. When he arrived to the park, the first thing he did was to check the surroundings and the people around: an old couple, three moms chatting on a bench, a couple of dads playing soccer with their kids… and then a kid made few bells in his head ring. Those eyes, and that way to laugh… no, it couldn’t be! Or could it? He looked at F/N, who was waiting for him on a bench, and she just nodded. He sighed, finally adding that last piece to the puzzle; now it was all clear… he sat down with her, listening to her story; it sure must have have been difficult, and tiring to take care of a child all alone… but now she wasn’t alone anymore. Yes, the team wasn’t… the best company ever, but one thing they prided themselves of was their loyalty toward each other. And she could trust them: they would have done anything to keep her child safe.
Illuso and the kid managed to get along just after a little. Illuso wasn’t the most talkative and playful person around, but, after he managed to catch the kid’s attention with an exquisite glass ball which reflected the light so nicely, it was done. The kid was fascinated by Illuso’s collection of glass sculptures, by the light that passed through them… Illuso, once a glass maker apprentice, showed them the secrets of glass making. All in all, they had similar tastes: they liked puzzles, riddles, everything that could challenge their minds… F/N wasn’t really sure it had been a good decision. Together, those two were unstoppable!
Ghiaccio
Ghiaccio was definitely not the easiest person to approach. However, since it seemed that his stand and the rookie’s one worked so damn good together, he was stuck with her. He was fuming. How could he, the second best -not even his confidence could convince him he was better than his leader- of the Squadra, be stuck with the newbie?! It wasn’t acceptable. Or, better, he thought so until he saw her fighting for real, and then he had to chew back few amazed cursed. Well… it seemed that Prosciutto and Risotto were right. Her stand really worked well with his White Album… seeing her in action softened him a little and, mission after mission, they grew closer. Everyone was perplexed: how could she bear with Ghiaccio’s tantrums for so long? She just smiled and said that he was, well… different, with her. And it was true: while he was always so direct to be, often, rude, impatient, aggressive and so on, he was always ready to put his life on the line in order to cover her back and bring her home in one piece. She was the only one he listened to, aside of Risotto, the only one who had a certain power on him. And he was the only one she would have entrusted her life to. Her life and… her secret too.
She told him during a particularly tough mission. She told him about her child, and she showed him a photo of them. Yes… it was definitely hers. Ghiaccio could see how the kid was resembling their mother… she told him their story; that she had to take care of them alone, and how, now, she hoped to gather enough money to give them everything they needed. Ghiaccio, for once, didn’t know what to say. His parents… well, his parents never cared about him. But she… she was willing to damn her own soul and to risk her life in order to give her kid a good and safe future. He couldn’t help but to feel moved. And that was why he offered to help her as much as he could. They were friends, after all… he had never had friends, but he was pretty sure that helping each other was something friends did. And he wanted, for once, to be a good friend to her.
Ghiaccio tried very hard to be as patient and tamed as he could, with the child. He didn’t want to disappoint his friend, after all… but the child was so quiet and calm that Ghiaccio never felt, not even once, rubbed in the wrong way. The kid enjoyed to sit down near mom’s friend and to read in a comfortable silence; the enjoyed to play with him, usually making a puzzle or playing a strategy game. The kid wanted Ghiaccio to be the one to go with him to buy a new pair of glasses and their mom just smiled, amused and moved, when she saw that her child decided to get a pair of red glasses, right like Ghiaccio’s. She was so happy to see her sweet kid admiring someone… it was heartwarming!
#jjba#vento aureo#la squadra di esecuzione#risotto nero#prosciutto#pesci#formaggio#melone#illuso#ghiaccio#fem teammate#new teammate#teammate who is a single mom#reactions hcs#headcanons#sfw#anon ask
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ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9
Legacy: We have ended up on the home planet of Tasha Yar… and wow it’s not a nice place. We also find out that she has a sister, welp. So… it was alright. Ishara is very similar to Tasha in demeanor, but also very different. I tilt my head at the crew being so willing to trust and accept Ishara into their midst when they know nothing about this woman. I could see the ‘she’s using them’ plot a mile away. But to be fair, the episode addresses it. They wanted to see Tasha. They wanted to see the brave, loyal, strong-willed Security Chief that they lost so callously in her sister… and in the end, that took over. While I can see why Ishara acted as she did, she didn’t know these people and hasn’t seen Tasha in years so she’s under no obligation to care about them, it really has to hurt that she used them and almost committed mass murder and make them take the lame. Her world is a hellhole so her actions make sense, but that doens’t change the betrayal. Especially for Data. Riker sums it up well, with trust comes betrayal… but without trust, there is no friendship. That’s just the cruel truth. Anyways, it was a fine episode. I like that we have a pot-mortem for Tasha even if late… but it just makes me wish that tasha herself didn’t get killed sos he could have had her own plot and feeligns focused on. It still pisse sme off and is just a reminder of so much wasted potential. But ah well, for what they had to work with, they did it welll. 3/5.
Reunion: K’Ehleyr is back… and with a child. Worf’s child, to be exact. Huh. have been waiting very patiently for a follow-up to Sins of the Father and this was an excellent one! Back in K’Ehleyr’s first episode, she was unwilling to take the Oath and Worf wanted to so much and follow the Klingon traditions. Here? K’Ehleyr is ready and doens’t care that he was discommendated… but now Worf can’t. he’s been dishonored and even if it means nothing to K’Ehleyr, it means a great deal to him. He can’t let her or his son bear that shame. It’s so hard to watch him here. How anguished he feels, the way the other Klingons treat him despite it being their damn fault that he accepted it, to begin with, just knowing that he did nothing wrong… but for the greater good, he has to bear it. He doesn’t even want Alexander to be known as his son not because he’s unwilling to accept parental responsibility but to spare him of the dishonor. Just… freakin’ ouch. I was so happy to see K’Ehleyr back and her character is just so freakin’ good and her wanting to allow Alexander to find his life path? Excellent parenting. So… needless to say, her being killed off pisses me off. They at least allowed her character to shine, but… it feels like they only did it to make Worf suffer more. It was well-executed, I was about ready to tear up and Worf being driven to kill Duras for all the suffering that he put him through and now killing the woman he loved (which btw the romantic chemistry was MUCH better here than last time)? I can’t blame him at all. I get why he got reprimanded since Duras was a political figure and this can cause a whole host of problems and clearly Picard was sympathetic… but I just felt so bad for Worf. At least he admitted that he was Aexander’s father and hopefully the poor kid will have a good life with Worf’s parents, bu… yeah. K’Ehleyr’s death stops me form giving this a perfect score, very least I wish we had gotten to see her fight instead of goign to commerical and them walking in on her bloody corpse… but at least they got the tone down. I just hope that one day, Worf and his brother can truly expose the conspiracy because Worf deserves a Hell of a lot better. 4.5/5.
Future Imperfect: Let’s perform a thought experiment, shall we? Imagine going on assignment on your birthday, business as usual… then some kind of mishap happens. You wake up… and discover that you have lost sixteen years' worth of your memory. You can’t remember significant life changes, special moments for yourself and your loved ones, or even your spouse and child. Then just as you begin getting used to things and accepting this new life… you find out that it was all a lie and you were in an illusion all along. You were captured and tricked… and then you find out that was also a lie and it was all due to a lonely alien child left on a barren planet/within a highly advanced Holodeck system that can give him anything that he wants, everyone he knew had died and he did all of this just to have a friend. Congratulations folks, you have now experienced what Riker went through this episode! Yeah, this episode was crazy. I feel bad for the poor kid, while he shouldn’t have done what he did we’re talking about a lonely child essentially forced to live in a Holodeck and just wanted to interact with someone real. Also, I loved how Riker got clued in on how the future word was fake, excellent call-back to Season One! Not much else to say, but good episode! It was wild, that’s for sure~ 3.5/5.
Final Mission: Well folks, this is the curtain call for Wesley Crusher. I know that he pops back up once or twice, but this will be his final episode as a main character as he finally enters the Academy. We’ll get to my final thoughts on Wesley here in a bit, but l focus on the episode itself first. And… it was fine. We have Picard, Wesley, and some third guy crash land on a desert planet, the Enterprise unaware of if they’re alive or not. Thus the three struggle to survive which not only is the third guy essentially a paranoid asshole… but a cave-in seriosuly injures Picard. Thus Wesley is more or less on his own and has to keep Picard alive. Thankfully we avoid killing him off, and thus they make sure to give Wesley a proper send-off. They let him showcase his strengths with his intellegence, fast thinking, and compared to in the beginning he’s much more mature and capable of handling an Away Mission. This convinced me that yes, Wesley is ready for the Academy and that he will be a great Starfleet Officer someday. Meanwhile the Enterprise are dealing with their own issues because of course they are. Nothing can ever just go easy for these people. can it? It’s fine. The Enterprise plot didn’t have me invested aside form worrying about Dr. Crusher. The poor woman just burris herself in her work to deal with her worry about Wesley and evades Troi when she tries to assure her Otherwise the plot is there sot hat it can be a solo Picard and Wesley adventure without hem interfering. Which while I havn’t been the biggest fan of their dynamic, it’s clear how much Welsey admires Picard such as recounting their Samaritan Snare adventure, and Picard admititng that he brought him along because he was going to miss the kid. It’s a nice moment between the characters and allows Wesley to truly open up… though I wish it focused more on him and his mother since that’s been seriously lacking, but ah well. It was still a good send-off episode for Wesley and that’s how you want to treat your characters, whether they stay ont he show or not. 3/5.
As for Wesley himself… it’s been a bumpy road. Do I agree with the consensus that Wesley is an annoying child character that even his actor agrees with (albeit I think jokingly but still)? No. Wesley isn't a bad character. He’s a smart young kid, tries his best, makes mistakes but tries to do his best, and he grew. He’s a perfectly likable kid and this episode especially shows the best of him. Do I agree that the character's role and execution were annoying and contributed to his reputation? Yes. That is ultimately what it boils down to decent character, poor execution. In S1 Wesley was elevated far more than he needed to be. He was given privileges that no other character his age would have been granted no matter the competency level that borders on blatant favoritism. Whenever he made a serious error, he got praise for fixing it, never scolded for his actions with The Naked Now being the worst example. He still had good episodes like Coming of Age, but alas. I think having a kid character who aspires to be in Starfleet, has a parent who is a prominent crew member, and being able to use his skills to help was a perfectly fine idea… but there were just issues with how they did it. S2 and 3 were. While I disliked him at the end of The Dauphin and he still got showed some blatant favoritism, it was better balanced. I didn't feel he earned to be an Ensign until this episode… y’know, the one that shipped him off to The Academy. Crusher being written out in S2 and then brought back in S3 also really killed any and all potential that their dynamic could have truly brought which also hurt. It really feels like by S3 they just didn’t know what to do with the character anymore, limiting him to mainly Helmsman duty. He wasn't being elevated anymore… but he wasn't adding anything anymore either. Maybe promoting him was to help give him something… but Wil Wheaton decided to go, and that ended that. I can’t say I’m sad to see Wesley go because his potential just got squandered to the point that keeping him just felt pointless, and having him go to the Academy feels like the best natural end-point for him, so might as well be now. Nevertheless, Wesley was still part of the crew and for all that I criticized, he certainly didn’t deserve the hate that he got. If people like or even relate to the character, that’s great! He just didn’t work for me unfortunateley. Wil Wheaton obviously moved on to bigger, better things and is well-liked in the fandom, so that’s good cause he certainly did the best that he could. He just wasn’t given a lot of good material. Hopefully Welsey’s later guest appearances will give him somethingg ood and heck maybe they’ll convince Wheaton to come back in Picard one day, but for now… farewell Wesley. Can’t say I’ll miss you, but it wasn’t the worst ride either.
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