#wtf this stupid show is making me care about awards shows

[pwnyta]

Now that im done with my GI dailies...

ROUND 2 of the BNHA award show starts!

The award for QUICKEST YET BADDEST ENTRANCE AND EXIT goes to...

Star!

Damn she was a bad bitch....

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Award for I DONT BELIEVE THAT MAN HAS EVER BEEN TO MEDICAL SCHOOL goes to....

ITS A TIE!!!

JEANIST AND WHATS-HIS-FACE!

Ok they can preform open heart surgery? Sure...

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Award for BIGGEST ASSPULL goes to...

ANOTHER TIE AND WELCOME BACK

BEST JEANIST & SERIOUSLY I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME FOR THE LIFE OF ME

AND!!! ERI!!!

Damn this was dumb as hell....

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Award for MOST DISAPPOINTING COME BACK goes to...

MIRIO!

...off-screen.... girl... Mirio I love you so much theres no way you should be this lame...

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Award for SERIOUSLY WHY THE FUCK WAS THIS GUY ADDED? IT HAD LIKE NO SATISFYING PART IN THE STORY.... goes to....

KUROGIRI!

Kurogiri you were so intriguing before Hori made you a zombie of Aizawas friend he just randomly added...

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The award for MAKING ME THINK OF THE WEATHER EPISODE FROM UNHHHHH goes to....

...??? HER!!!!

HELLLOOOO WERE HAVING WEATHER~~~~

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Award for MOST WASTED STORY POTENTIAL IN MAYBE ALL OF MANGA HISTORY goes to....

Mutant bigotry!!!

Really Hori your bringing this up now? To try and make Spinners random character turn understandable? Weve had mutant characters the ENTIRE GOD DAMN TIME HORI!!! PRO HEROES! STUDENTS! RANDOM BG CHARACTERS! YOURE BRINGING THIS UP NOW!? TOKOYAMI ALMOST KILLED SOME OF HIS CLASSMATES!!!! YOU THINK BIGOTS WOULDNT HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!? WHAT A TOOTHLESS TONE-DEAF RACISM ALLEGORY!! HOLY SHIT HORI IM SO PISSED ABOUT THIS YOU CANT EVEN IMAGINE.

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Award for MOST DRAWN OUT NOT-DEAD REVEAL goes to...

BAKUGO

I mean obviously.... You know letting him actually have some smooth character development woulda been too hard for Hori...

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Award for HOLY SHIT THE 'CEST SHIPPERS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS SHIT goes to....

ITS A TIE!!!! TWINSIES!!!

Endeavor/Dabi

AND!!!

THE SHIGARAKIS!

...Yall can get mad at me for this one... You know I aint wrong...

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Award for MOST UNHINGED YET SELFLESS ROMANTIC SACRIFICE goes to....

STAIN!!!!

Seriously Im in tears... how did this happen...

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Award for THE MOST POINTLESS FACE HEAL FACE TURN IN HISTORY goes to....

....HER!

??? Seriously you got pissed about killing villains so you started killing heroes even a teenage boy? Thats so fucking stupid girl....fuckin WHAT?

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Award for I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS YOURE AN UNDERRATED TOP TIER G AND YOU DESERVE AN AWARD goes to...

MT LADY!!!

DAMN SHES FUCKING COOL! NEVER DISAPPOINTS IN A FIGHT!

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Award for SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP!!! THIS ISNT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE Y- goes to...

ENDEAVOR!!

SHUT YOUR BITCH ASS UP ENDEAVOR!!!

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Award for THEY NEEDED TO TAKE YOU OUT EARLIER ON SO YOU COULDNT CLAP THE BADDIES CHEEKS AND ITS SO OBVIOUS WHY DID HORI MAKE YOU SO STRONG FOR NO REASON TOKOYAMI???? goes to....

TOKOYAMI!!!

HOLY SHIT TOKOYAMI!

--------

Award for I HATE THAT THEYRE MAKING ME DEFEND YOU... goes to...

HAWKS!!!

Hawks gave Twice plenty of chances to stop fucking killing people so he could be taken in alive! WHY DO I HAVE TO DEFEND THIS BLACKHOLE OF WASTED FUCKIN TIME HORI WTF....???

-----

Award for MOST WEIRDLY TOUCHING DEDICATION goes to...

All Mights CANT STOP TWINKLING attack!

The way I cried a little... my little tchotchke.... Him changing his attacks from states to his students was already so good but damn... :') Aoyama deserved this.

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Award for MOST TRAGICALLY SUBMISSIVE BABYGIRL goes to...

ALL MIGHT!!!

I mean we knew from the jump but.... DAMN Toshi.

------

Award for MOST HATED GOOD SHIP goes to...

KIRISHIDO!!!

Seriously FUCK those KRBK fans! Im so glad you got bested by the BKDKs you rancid fucks.... This ship was always superior!!!

------

Award for LOVING SHOTO THE MOST goes to....

Certainly not his fucking family....

IIDA!!!!

So this is love... mmm mmm mmm mmm~ So this is... love?

----

Award for SICKEST VILLAIN DESIGN goes to...

Kunieda(I guess?)

Seriously this guy is so fucking cool looking. Clears literally every single villain design. Its not even close.

------

The award for MOST HORNGRY goes too....

AFO

Seriously AFO... if you werent so obsessed with Toshi you probably woulda won its literally so fucking funny.... Elevated the nosebleed trope to literally spurting blood from the forehead veins from how aggressively horknee you are. LMAO. AND YET somehow this is not the weirdest boner you have for another man.

---

Award for THE MOST CONSISTENTLY GOOD CHARACTER IN BNHA goes to...

ALL MIGHT. Obviously.

IDK if Hori loves you or hates you by how he writes you Toshi but damn you wear this consistency so fuckin well not even Hori could fuck you up!

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Award for MOST REALISTICALLY AGED BY THE STRESS OF THIS BATTLE goes to...

Naomasa!!

.... LMAO... Damn. Stress so intense it made you turn into a distinctly designed character.. The magic of facial hair and eyebags...

---

The award for REALLY BITCH!? YOU HAVE A PERFECT COUNTER FOR STAINS QUIRK BUT NOT ONE TO AGE YOURSELF TO COUNTER YOUR DEAGING?! THATS FUCKIN CONVENIENT HORIKOSHI goes to...

AFO!!! For BLOODLET!

The only blemish on the otherwise sickest side battle in this whole arc TBH..

-----

Thats the end of part 2 of BNHA AWARDS!!! Some serious upsets this round! Damn!

#The BNHA Award Show!! #BNHA

[the-invisible-queer]

Both my brain and dream Joe chose violence

I had a dream that we were at some fucking event but we weren't there together and we weren't talking

I was there as Nick's date for some reason

It was a small formal acting award show. Not the Oscar's. But fancy.

I remember sitting in the car on the way and Nick and I both opted out of bowties and he asked me about it and I was like "I don't fucking know how to tie a bowtie...he always does it for me" which the he was obviously Joe

Me and Joe broke up and were not really on speaking terms just tolerating each other

But have a date and when we saw them Nick kept asking if I was okay and saying we could leave early if I want but Nick was nominated so I was like "we're not leaving until you've got your award in your hand" but he was like "I don't care about the award...say the word and we'll leave" which I appreciate but it's whatever

Throughout the night Joe and I keep bumoing into each other when we're away from our tables but we don't talk just exchange weird looks

Halfway through the fucking show Joe gets on one knee and from where we're sitting looks like he's proposing to the woman and I look at Nick like "how long has that been a thing?" And he's like "I don't even know who she is I've never met her"

So me and Nick are both like wtf but everyone else seems to be so supportive AND SHE LEAVES

Me and Nick are like 😲 as is everyone else in the fucking room and Joe leaves and me and Nick are like fuck the award we gotta make sure he's okay so we both follow him outside and he's standing outside, leaning on the building, scrolling through his phone - the way he looked fucking killed me 😩

And we check in ask if he's okay and he's so unbothered by what just happened and he tells Nick to not worry about him and go Nick inside so he doesn't miss his big moment

Nick's hesitant to go back in but Joe's like "I'm fine...I've got them" and points at me and Nick gives me a look like silently asking if I'll be okay and I tell him I'll be fine and Nick goes back inside

As soon as it was just me and Joe he's like "glad to see it worked" and I'm like "what do you mean?" He says that he thought that showing up with a date would get my attention but when it didn't he had to "pull out the big guns" and fake a public embarrassment for himself

We got into an argument because I was like that's so fucking stupid and he felt some type of way about me being Nick's date and I was like "fuck this" and was about to go back inside but he apologized and I felt bad so I apologized and explained me being Nick's date was a last minute decision because he was too anxious to go alone

And Joe jokes like "I could have been his date if he didn't want to go alone" which made me laugh so hard for some reason then he asked me about my lack of a bowtie and I was like "you had me spoiled I never learned how to tie one" and he fucking unclips his bowtie and is like "now I know what to get you for your birthday" and clips it back on

And we're just standing there for a moment and he's like "I know what I did was stupid but it got your attention and that's all I wanted...so I hope this means you stop ignoring my texts"

And then we get into a lighter fight because we've both been guilty of ignoring texts and calls

And then he tells ne to go back inside because if I miss Nick's moment he'll never let either of us live it down so I got back inside perfect timing because Nick's category is being announced

Nick wins goes up to accept, gives his speech and I get a text from Joe that says "tell him I'm proud of him"

Abd then I woke up

#Mac's Dream Journal

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

#harry potter #sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the sorcerer's stone #harry potter and the philosopher's stone #hermione granger #ron weasley #k mumbles #fred weasley #george weasley #ginny weasley #hagrid #rubeus hagrid #albus dumbledore #long post #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin

[kaalamarii]

MC’s Totally Rad 80s Party

I haven’t written in years and my new obsession with Obey Me + not working=me attempting to write again. Also new to tumblr and don’t know wtf I’m doing.

Summary: You’re feeling homesick and the boys throw a party for you. 

Pairing: None yet. This is just the prologue and then each demon will have their own part. Like a Choose Your Own Adventure sort of deal, I guess?

Word Count: 2339

Warnings: Set before Belphie’s out of the attic.Talk of sex, talk of alcohol. General cheesiness. Probably some swearing b/c I’m a potty mouth. I’m also the CEO of Run On Sentences. 2nd person pov/female mc, also a random OC that is mentioned (from mc/your life pre devildom)

As much as you’d hate to admit it, you were having fun in Devildom. 

At first, you felt nervous, scared, not knowing what to expect. But somehow the six demon brothers had wormed their way into your heart and you had developed a soft spot for each of them. And you knew the feelings were mutual. You knew that no matter how much they insulted you, picked on you, that they all cared for you.

It was surprisingly comforting, you thought. Though you knew any of them could easily kill you, you felt safe around them. They didn’t feel like predators, but protectors.

Still, a part of you missed the human world. You missed your phone, your family, your friends. The human world was, well, home.

The homesick feeling sunk in on one particular night as you were bored and organizing your room and found an old invitation smashed and crumpled in the pocket of the jeans you were wearing the night you got to Devildom. Unraveling it, you smile. 

“Come to Lizzie’s Totally Rad 80’s Party! Costume contest, photobooths, and lots and lots of booze and amazing food.”

You sighed. You had known Lizzie since the first grade, and although you had drifted apart since becoming young adults, the two of you always had a bond. You had been looking forward to that party. You had a super cute Madonna costume all carefully pieced together and had the perfect gift for Lizzie. 

You laid back on your bed with the invitation still in your hand, wondering what everyone back at home was doing and whether or not they were worried about you. Where did they think you were? You made a mental note to ask Lucifer about it later.

Your thoughts are interrupted by an obnoxious pound on your door. “Yo, MC! Open up! The Great Mammon is here to spend time with you!”

You both rolled your eyes and chuckled at the needy demon friend of yours before getting up to let him in.

“You know,” you say, “you don’t have to knock so loudly.”

Mammon scoffed, waving his hand at you, “Yeah, yeah.”

He made his way over to your bed, sitting down at the edge. “I’m bored. What’re ya up to in here?”

“Just doing some re-organizing.”

“Oi,” the second born said with a sigh. “That’s definitely not going to kill my boredom.”

You shook your head with a smile as you finished putting some things up. Mammon picked up the invitation on the bed and read it. He looked at you. “Where’d you get this?”

“It was in my pocket when I got here. It’s for a friend’s party from back at home.”

“Did you go?”

“I didn't have a chance to,” you say with a frown, looking over the invitation again. “She gave me this and the next day I was here.”

Mammon looks at you while you scan the flyer, noticing your sadness. 

“But it’s okay,” you continue. “Lizzie has a lot of other friends, so it’s not like she’ll be missing out not having me there.”

“But you missed out,” Mammon replied.

“Yeah, well, there will be other parties.”

You’re playing off your disappointment, but Mammon could see through it. He knew the look well, having disappointed many people many times. Still, he didn’t press it. He wasn’t so good with all that, and what if you started crying? He would not know how to handle that.

“I should go,” he said awkwardly. “You’re being all weird.”

You nodded, his blunt comment not bothering you much. You were used to it and knew it was him covering up his softness for you.

What you didn’t notice was Mammon stuffing the paper into his pocket as he left your room. 

**

“I wanted to run an idea by you all. Something for MC,” Mammon told his brothers the next day at school when MC wasn’t around.

“Yes, I agree,” Asmo said, not even bothering to listen to Mammon’s idea was, “That girl needs some slap and tickle, if you know what I mean.”

The others all gave the Avatar of Lust a blank look. 

“You know, the mattress mambo, bumping uglies, playing hide the salami, riding the flagpole, the down and dirty, boning…”

“What the hell?!” Levi cried, hands going up to cover his ears.

Satan snickered.

Asmo continued, “knocking boots, making love, if that’s your thing. Oh! And then there’s eating out, eating ass…ugh. You all are such prudes.”

“Hmm, eating,” Beel said, the rest of the words in the crude list quickly forgotten as he held a hand to his stomach. “I’m starving.”

“Okay, STOP!” Mammon said, frowning. “That’s not what I’m talking about...and nobody will be doing that with MC.”

“Nobody but you, huh, Mammon?” Asmo said, nudging his brother with his elbow.

“NO! Why would you say that? I’d never be with a lowly human like that!”

“Except MC, right?” Levi teased his already embarrassed brother.

Asmo smiled dreamily. “I’d do delightfully dirty things to MC.”

“First of all, no you wouldn’t. Second of all, why are we still talking about this? This is what I came to you for.” The Avatar of Greed slammed the flyer down on the table before all his brothers. “MC was invited to this party and never got to go because she came here. I think we should have our own 80s party at the House of Lamentation.”

Asmo was the first to accept the idea.  “Oh! I love the 80s! One of the sexiest decades...tight pants, mini skirts, big hair.”

Leviathan’s face lit up. “The 80s had some awesome anime! It’s when Studio Ghibli started!”

“Nobody cares, Levi,” Mammon replied.

“Nobody cares about you, Mammon! Scumbag.”

“Hey!”

“Does that say amazing food?” Beel spoke up over his arguing brothers. “I’m in!”

“I’m in too,” Satan said, “It’s been a while since we’ve had a party at the house. I know where Lucifer hides the alcohol.”

“Yeah, in the kitchen next to Cerberus' food,” Asmo stated.

“Nah, he moved it,” Beel replied. “It’s not in the kitchen anymore. He moved it once when I found it looking for snacks.”

“Yeah,” Mammon added, “When he confiscated that expensive bottle of tequila I bought in the human world, he put it in the music room.”

“Oh, really?” Lucifer’s voice boomed from behind them, making the five demons jump.

“G’aaah!” Mammon yelped. 

“I guess I need to find a new hiding spot then,” Lucifer said, walking over to his brothers. “What is it you all think you need alcohol for?”

Levi handed the invitation to him. “We want to throw a party for MC.”

Lucifer looked over the paper, brows furrowed. “Why?”

“She’s feeling homesick,” Satan explained. 

“Ya, she showed me this last night. She seemed all moody, so I thought maybe we could do this for her.” The second eldest told him.

Lucifer picked up the paper, looking it over. The rest of the demons looked up at him, hopeful. “And where would this gathering take place?”

“At home,” Satan replied, receiving a glare from Mammon.

“Hey, Satan, what’s the big idea! I’m the one that came up with the idea. I was up all night plannin’ this!”

“You were up all night planning a party for MC?” Levi teased. “How romantic.”

“Shut up! It’s not romantic!”

The demon brothers started arguing again until Lucifer cleared his throat. “Enough, you two. We can have the party for MC.”

The demons all cheered.

“BUT-” 

Their cheers turned into frowns. 

“I knew there’d be a but,” Mammon whined.

“No alcohol. Not on a school night. And it’s over by midnight.”

The younger brothers all started protesting.

“This isn’t up for debate…”

More protesting and boos from his brothers.

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I guess we can have some alcohol.”

“Over by 2 am?” Mammon asked, with an award winning smile.

Lucifer sighed. “Fine.” 

The group cheered and Lucifer let a smile play upon his lips when the others weren’t looking.

**

A week later, you were doing homework in your room when your D.D.D. goes off, distracting you. Your eyes flick over to see that Mammon had sent a message to the group chat between the brothers.

(Mammon:) Alright, Beel and Levi have gotten the food. Beel, didn’t eat any of it, did he?

(Levi:) Food’s safe.

(Mammon:) Okay, good.  Asmo, Satan, you two got the decorations?

(Satan:) Yep, got everything.

(Asmo:) Remember there’s a costume contest! Though we all know I’m going to win it.

(Levi:) No way! I’m going to win it! Diavolo is giving out Grimm as the first prize and I’m going to win it so I can get the new Ruri-chan figurine!

(Lucifer:) How does Diavolo know about this party and when did he become part of the planning?

(Levi:) He overheard us talking about it at RAD and got excited. He just kinda sat down and started planning stuff with us. Apparently some of his favorite music and movies from the human world are from the 1980s. 

(Lucifer:) Okay, we need to change some of the rules of this party then.

(Mammon:) ugh

...What the hell? Nobody had mentioned a party to you…

And why were they talking about the 80s? Wait. you got up, searching for the invitation for your friend’s party. Where did it go?

D.D.D. again. This time a chat between all brothers excluding Lucifer.

(Satan:) We need to get some booze. The invitation says booze.

(Levi): He’s not going to let you all drink with Diavolo around.

(Satan:) Yeah, I know. That’s why we’re going to find whatever is lying around the house and spike the punch bowl.

(Asmo:) ❤❤❤

(Asmo:) This party is going to be amazing! I hope MC will like it.

(Mammon:) Of course she will! Our parties are way better than any stupid human parties!

(Satan:) How would you know, Mammon? Like you’ve been to any parties in the human world.

(Levi:) Lolololol

(Mammon:) Hey! I’ve been to tons of human world parties! 

(Levi:) Sure, you have.

You couldn’t help the grin that took over your face as you reread the messages over and over. The boys were throwing a party...for you. You thought back to the night you were feeling homesick. Mammon actually listened to you complain about missing your friend’s party! And they’ve seen the invitation.

You immediately open up the Akuzon app, hunting down pieces for your costume. An 80s party for you, thrown by your favorite demon guys? Asmo was right... this was going to be amazing.

**

At breakfast the next morning, you try to act surprised as the demon brothers sit down one by one, all smiles and hand you a white envelope with your name printed neatly on it.

“What’s this?” You ask, pretending you don’t already know.

“Open it,” Mammon replied, a twinkle in his eyes.

You turn the envelope over and gently rip it open. You pull out a folded sheet of paper that was literally a copy of your invitation to Lizzie’s party, except Lizzie’s name was crossed out and your name was sloppily written above it. The date and time was also crossed out and rewritten. ‘Booze’ had a question mark drawn on after it, which was also crossed out with a ‘NO’ beside it.

“Surprise!” The boys howled.

You felt tears gathering in your eyes.

They all slowly, one by one lost their smiles. 

“Aw, man,” Levi whined. “She hates it! I told you the invitation was stupid, Mammon!”

“Hey! I didn’t see any of you assholes trying to make up an invitation!”

“Cause you just had to be the one to do it! And now you’ve made her cry,” Levi argued. “Idiot!”

Asmo shook his head. “Drop dead, Mammon.”

“Guys,” you speak up, wiping your face with your sleeve. “These are happy tears, okay? I love it.”

Their smiles return.

“I can’t believe you all did this for me. For demons, y’all are pretty sweet.” You got up, giving each one a hug. “Also, I’m going to slay all of you in the costume contest.”

**

You felt nervous as you got ready for the party. You tried to calm yourself as you teased and sprayed your hair a bit before tying a headband over it. You lined your eyes with black and added some colored eyeshadow. The outfit itself consisted of a black miniskirt and a couple belts over lace tights and a sheer shirt with a black bra underneath. And of course, lace black gloves with lots and lots of bracelets and necklaces.

You checked yourself out in the mirror, confident and self conscious at the same time. You wondered to yourself how the boys would react seeing you like this. 

It’s not like you hadn’t shown skin around them before, and you admitted to yourself that you liked the way they all looked at you when you wore something revealing. Even your RAD uniform didn’t keep much to the imagination when you sat down and it rode up your thighs. And you had caught more than one of the guys ogling you as you walked around the house in your pjs, which usually consisted of short shorts and a tank top.

The sound of loud music echoing through the house and bass rattling the room pulled you from your thoughts. You smiled, eager to see how your boys dressed up and decorated.

You couldn’t get that smile to leave as you stepped into the dining room and saw all the decorations. Neon greens, yellows, blues, and pinks glowed under black light.Colored streamers hung from the ceiling and the table and walls were adorned with various 80s pop culture; posters of John Hughes movies, records and cassette tapes, Rubix Cubes, Trolls, and Pac-Man. “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley blared from giant speakers.

You felt herself blushing as she looked around the room in awe...they put so much work into this. For you. 

You scanned the room, searching through the room of your scattered friends until you set your eyes on the one you wanted to go to first...

Masterlist

Mammon      Satan      Lucifer      Levi    Beel     Asmo      Belphie

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me mc #obey me leviathan #obey me diavolo #obey me fanfic #obey me swd #obey me fanfiction #obey me main character

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Find me in your memory: the healing (but heartbreaking) romance between an anchorman and an actress

I’m watching a couple of dramas right now (and just started The King: Eternal Monarch) but I have to say my favorite is FMIYM. I found myself enjoying a lot the first couple of eps despite it being a melo and having a terrible murder plot that f*cked up our male lead a few years prior to the beggining of the story. BUT I mean, he did manage to get up from bed everyday and brought justice to his deceased girlfriend and then he did try to get back to “normal”, and I guess I’m really impressed by that because he has that horrible medical condition that makes him forget nothing, including all the bad bits about life and of course, that dreadful night where he saw the woman he loved being murdered by a stalker die.

All in all, I’m honestly pleasantly surprised because in dramaland, getting back on your feet after experiencing something like that would be nearly impossible. Hell, even in real life that would be so.freaking.hard. And yet, he did it. Sure, he is moody, dead serious and looks like he has no sense of humor, but he still has a passion for his job (which he does very well while looking hella smart and hot btw)as a news anchorman. And I found that this drama does a very good job in teaching us something so beautiful about life, which is concentrating on the good rather than the bad.

Our male lead, Lee Jung Hoon, says in a recent episode after a another rather tragic happening in his life: 

Why did I not try to make more good memories instead of only remembering the bad in my life? Why didn’t I try to be happier before?

Soul: crushed. But yet, so true. How many of us are guilty of doing this at least once in our lives?

And I mean, you can see, as the episodes progress that he starts to show interest in our female lead (especially after finding out that she used to be his girlfriend’s BFF) and he has such a difficult time being around her, not only because of their connection, but also because of her personality, a total opposite from his. She is cute and innocent, but not naive; she is fun but not stupid; she is happy but not oblivious to reality (and to the fact that big chunks of her memory are missing) and she is a talented actress. I mean, a news anchorman and an actreess? Yeah, a total cliché, but come on! I love it!

And I normally love when male lead falls for the female lead first and he starts working his way towards romancing her, but in FMIYM, the opposite happens and given the nature of our dear Ha-jin, is actually adorably funny how she declares she likes Anchor-nim and dreams with having at least a bit of his time dedicated to her. And like I said, she is not stupid and knows something is holding him back, even before knowing about his condition. She even deduces that he still can’t let go of his first love and tells him that is not healthy to live in the past because she is clearly not around (oh boy, it’s gonna hurt when she remembers all and realizes what’s really going on). Seriously, that guy does not give an inch or a smile easily, so when he does, our female lead is always shoked to her core with happiness.

Man, I just love these two so much and I just hope things can end up in a happy, normal and loving place with them together. I’m 90% sure we can get that but I wonder, what are we losing in the way? And how much is drama planning to make me cry?

So... where’s the heartbreak?

Apart from the fact that Anchor-nim used to date Seo Yeon (dead by the hands of a freaking psycho) who was best friends with Ha-jin, the fact that he can’t forget bad shit, and our female lead’s memory problem where she forgot completely a person she loved dearly for most of her life and will obviously end up remembering and then put all pieces of the puzzle together... Yeah, apart from ALL that, now dear Ha-jin is being hunted by a stalker in practically the same manner as her dear late bestie. So our male lead decides he will not let this happen twice and he will protect Ha-jin at all costs. Of course that screams love, but he really doesn’t stop to process and find meaning to his feelings. He is just scared that something will happen to our female lead and what’s important is to put her out of harm’s way.

(Minor spoilers ahead)

Look, at this point, the halfway mark, I literally have no idea who the stalker is. Or if there is even an stalker (more on that later). If there really is one, we have at least 3 major suspects and one of them is our male lead’s best friend, which, ouch! Talk about being stabbed in the back and also, does our Anchor-nim really have to suffer like that? WTF writer-nim? But I mean, we have to look at things with open eyes and there’s a lot of things that are happening that only the best friend could’ve done and very easily at that. If he is the bad guy, he also needs to win an award because he acts like he cares deeply for Anchor-nim and Ha-jin. But also, he knows an awful lot about those two and that information, in the hands of the wrong person, would only do bad.

Then we have the creepy director, which I find that despite that disturbing element of being obsessed with Ha-jin, he might not be the BAD bad guy. Still, a restriction order needs to be in place for him, for sure. And then, there’s the former manager that, with all and his fishy bussiness, I still don’t think he is really the one we should be worrying about. That much.

Which brings me to the theory that maybe there’s not real stalker. This is not completely my theory, but rather a compilation of many comments I saw on Youtube, of all places, hehe. Where it was said that maybe someone is doing all this stalker stuff towards Ha-jin, in a very similar manner on how the gilrfriend died, because they want a reaction from Anchor-nim. They’re conducting an experiment on him, basically. And that really makes me angry, because I don’t think his sickness or condition or whatever is that awaful. I mean this is one thing some bitch would think excuses the fact of treating him like a guinea pig? And this someone might be his first doctor, the father of Anchor-nim’s best friend. Yikes. If that’s the truth, big F*ck you to you, sir. Science does not excuse this in any way. And I’ve seen that he rarely talks about Anchor-nim as real person and more like a thing.

If we can get past that terrible stalker situation, I hope we can overcome the guilt that Anchor-nim is feeling for falling in love with the best friend of his former girlfriend. And I think, more diffiicult than that, would be when Ha-jin remembers everything and I hope she can move on, not only from the sadness and depression of losing her friend, but also the guilt that comes from knowing something that drove her to edge after Seo Yeon’s passing. I’m sure we don’t know the whole story yet. And I really hope she can allow herself to be happy with the Anchor-nim, even after knowing who he was to her bestie.

#Find me in your memory #memoir of a man #kim dong wook #moon ga young

[not-ur-normie]

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+ Diavolo)

Hey there! This is my very first headcanon thingy, so i would like to apologise for my bad english, its not my mother language. Also, it was so long ago when i last wrote anything similar in english, so once again, sorry. 

Anyway, i really wanted to write it, so let me know if you like it! + If you want general group headcanons with them as a kpop group, pls let me know it as well! (Or a similar one with Simeon, Luke and Solomon, hehe) Love! 

The demon brothers as a kpop group (+Diavolo)

DIAVOLO - The CEO of the company - It was the main goal in all his life to see Lucifer shining on stage - Okay, not, actually he only knows Lucifer since a shitty survival program - I mean, Lucifer is already hiper super extra giga mega beautiful in his eyes, but! Lucifer! on! stage! is the main Lucifer - So he maid a company for him - Lucifer was like 'wtf dID U DO' (okay, he didnt say it in this way, but-) - He is an understanding boss - Doesnt plan to debut any other group, so his company wont suck lol - Has all the money only for the bois - Altho he is really kind and understanding, he expects the guys to work extra hard do achive success - Sometimes goes to variety shows with his group and acting like a proud dad around them - Fans say that he is the 8th member of the group - Has his own fansites - Sometimes does modelling (has a duo photoshoot with Lucifer which he is extra proud of and some of its pieces are on his wall in a big canvas) - Fans ship him with Lucifer (not suprising) - He bought two houses next to each other. One is his and the other is the guys'. - Has a cameo in one of the mvs of the group - Does acting, has a lots of main roles - He is POPULAR

LUCIFER - Leader of the group - Also dad of the group (i mean if you dont count Diavolo) - He and the others participated in a survival program, but didnt make it - Got kicked out of their prev company - Thats when Diavolo became a fan of him and decided on founding one for him - Lucifer only agreed on joining if his teammeat could go too - Most popular in the group - Does everything Diavolo asks him to do - Makes the guys practicing till morning - Barely sleeps - Also does acting - Really bad at doing fanservice - Extremely caring towards fans - Always makes sure that the fans are doing okay, writes short messages on fancafe, uploads pictures (never about himself) on ig and twitter and reminds fans to take care of themselfs - Staying up super late to read fancafe letters from fans - Gives special attention to communicate with fans - However... He shamlessly blocks fans who upload meme pics about him or hurt his pride - HE IS SERIOUS - Thanks to this, fans never EVER mock him - Has a solo album - Won against his own group once in a music show (Levi said how it was not fair and Satan was pissed) - Never dyed his hair and never will - According to some poll, he is one of the most handsome men in kpop - He hates fanwars and when there is one, he tells the fans to stop  - He also hates rumors

MAMMON - He wanted to became a worldwide idol so he can get more money - Actually he was really bad at everything when he joined that survival program - Fans started to love him bc of his hard work (((for the money))) - Always forgets their own choreography - The whole fandom jokes about how stupid he is - He is always truly offended and scolds the fans on vlive - Fans make memes out of him and love dissing him - Fans think he is super cute and he is loveing it - LOVES fansigns but always blushes if he needs to hold hands with fans - Tries to act tough anyway - Cries in every. fkin. concert. (giving birth to new memes lol) - Once made a "joke" about how fans should donate him money instead of giving presents and it became a HUGE scandal, Lucifer and Diavolo deadass wanted to kick him out of the group - Does vlive a lot bc he loves talking about everything: how he bought a new car, new shoes, how he wanted to prank Lucifer with Satan and how they failed blah blah and so on - He is that member with zero lines, but has fair screentime - Modelling and super popular - Tried acting bc "he is too good at everything" but failed (he is not too good, but too shy lol) - The loudest member - Variety shows love him thanks to his idiotism - He says he is the "cutie sexy" member of the team - Once a fan started crying in front of him at a fansign out of happiness and Mammon was so touched he started crying as well

LEVIATHAN - His nickname is Leviachan for a reason - Fans know how much of an otaku he is so they always buy him anime related stuff and LEVI IS TRULY HAPPY ALL THE TIME - He even post about his presents at twitter and ig - Does gameplay vlives - Also has a youtube channel where he uploads every kind of videos: gameplays, gameplays, anime reviews, manga recommendations, gameplays, videos about his Ruri-chan collection, gamplays... and more gameplays - Uploaded a video where he and Mammon tried to snake into Lucifer's room to film him while he is asleep, but got caught and Lucifer started to shout at them - He needed to deletet it bc Lucifer wanted to kill him for publishing it - Fans didnt reupload out of fear from Lucifer - Shy at fansigns but compfy with old fans and fansites - Doing cosplay - At the begining he was reather shy on stage, but since he got used to it... aegyo all the way - Loves when they promote in Japan - In variety shows when the mcs ask him about his hobbies he always ends up talking too much, so to others need to stop him - According to fans, he has e-boy vibes - He is the one who posts everything thats happening with them on twitter, so the fans really ALWAYS know whats up whit the guys - Once accidentally tweeted out their hotel room numbers and fans found them (Lucifer was hella angry)

SATAN - Mom of the group, even if he hates it - Like if Lucifer is the dad, no way that he is the mom - Also prince of the group - Has good vocals but can rap too - Writes lyrics - Started acting bc he was sure he is better than Lucifer - Won an award for his main role in a detective series - Has a whole collection of books bought by fans - Gets angry easily which is the reason why fans often mock and make memes about him - Reads the messages fans send him and replies; sometimes its only a heart, sometims its advice or kind words - Came up with the groups greeting - According to the other members fansites, he is so handsome that its hard to not take pictures of him - Thanks to this, all the others fansites have at least two posts about him - Fans going insane when he starts smiling - Plays the guitar - Multilanguage king - Cant do fanservice - Literally hates fanservice - Once in Weekly Idol, him and Lucifer needed to hold hands and say nice things to each other after the others told the mcs how awkward their relationship is - That was the worst moment in his entire life - Wanna do a solo album, but didnt have the chance yet (Diavolo promisd him tho) - He has th best fashion sense after Asmo - Has a cat in the dorm and the fans love it like its their own - He has a great memory, so he remembers the names of the fans who attended their fansigns at least two times 

ASMODEUS - Main vocal of the group - Self claimed visual of the group - He posts the most, almost everyday - Loves doing make up - The most fashionable member - A big ass diva - Went to king of masked singer but didnt win it - Has a solo album - He loVES FANSERVICE, HE LIVES FOR IT - With members, with fans, it doesnt really matter - The best at fansigns, he is so direct - Hold hands with fans, gives hugs, let them touch him - On the groups YouTube channel, he has this special segment called "Asmo cam" - He shows whats happening in backstage during promotions - Designed their debut album's look - Also designed the lightstick - Complains to the stylists if he dislikes an outfit - MCing - Reads the fanfictions fans write about the group and teases the members with it - Doing shower vlives, where there is only voice, so the fans can hear him singing in the shower (he also brags about how beautiful he is and how unlucky his fans not seeing the full beauty of his body) - If a fan post about him saying dirty things, he will reply with even more dirtyer stuff - Most of his fans are hard stans

BEELZEBUB - Maybe i am headcanoning it wrong, but for me Beelzebub is a rapper - The only reason he is not part of the aegyo line bc he never does aegyo but naturally cute enough for fans to cry over his cuteness - He is so sad that fans mustnt give him food in fansigns, but Diavolo is against it out of fear of some antifan trying to poison them - Mukbang videos - Mukbang shows love and hate him at the same time - Eating everywhere and everytime - He even eats at the middle of concerts - Fans have a bunch of memes about him - According to fans, he is like a big puppy who must be protected by all costs - All cool and serious on stage, all cuddly and cutie off stage - Main dancer of the group, always helps with the choreographys - Has an own restaurant, where fans can buy his fav foods... And there is a lot of that - One of the sweetest bubs in fansigns, he is easygoing and thanks to this its not hard to talk to him - Fans dieing to see him take off his shirt, but it havent happend yet - In one of his birthday lives Mammon dropped his cake out of accident and HE WAS SUPER SAD - Most of his social media post are about food. What he ate, whats he wanna eating, what he recommends eating, notes to fans to dont forget to eat - Fans never tell him to dont forget to eat, bc they know he wouldnt - Fans ship him with Asmo and Belphie - Loves tours bc he can eat a lot of delicious food around the world

BELPHEGOR - Devil maknae - Makes fun of his hyungs, but loves them endlessly - Sleeps in backstage all the time; while his make up is done, while his hair is done, why waiting for rehearsal - Lucifer has the hardest time with him if it comes to practice - I mean, Belphie deadass can fall asleep the middle of some choreo - Didnt love doing agyeo, but fans are over the moon if he does, so he is doing it often - He doesnt have a fixed role in the group, sometimes he sings and sometimes he raps - One of the best dancers, but he is too lazy to show his full potential - He often falls asleep while doing vlives - Once in an ig live he told the fans that it doesnt bother him that they have haters, bc he hates the haters as well - He barely posts on social media; if there are pictures about him, they are mostly from the other members (especially from Beel) - He has a super big pillow he got from a fan to his birthday when he was still a trainee and this is his favourite pillow - He is the one with zero solo activity, bc if he has free time he reather sleeps than going to shoot something

Feel free to add anything that comes into your mind!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me shitpost #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me diavolo x reader #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus

[kunderdogs]

KNK As Brothers

First time doing something like this and I had a fun time writing it! My siblings are close but not by much lol 

Jihun: The Best Friend

He’s your number one guy, no matter what

The type to be there, no questions asked

Always takes your side if you’re fighting with your parents

Will make sure you’re safe whenever you go out

Offering to pick you up and take you there

Waits up for your call so he can drive you to make sure you’re safe

Your very first friend

As children, you two rarely ever played with anyone else at the playground

You two rarely fight - you’re too similar

Doesn’t mind if you want to put make-up on him

Just don’t post it without his approval - needs you to have one with his good side at the least

Wants to screen everyone of your boyfriends/partners before he can approve of them

They have to meet certain criteria before they’re approved

If he sees you crying, he’ll comfort you immediately and want to know what’s wrong and how he can help

Will buy you a bunch of food to help you feel better

Cuddles like when you were children

No concept of personal space

Will barge into your room and flop on your bed when you’re laying down

Wants to have deep talks about anything

Confides in you the most

You’re first one he tells good news to

HUGS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!

The kind of hugs that lift you up and spin you around

Gives you his old clothes/things 

Sneaks you some spending money when you need it, even if your parents tell him not to since you always use it on snacks

Joking around with you like your one of his friends

Includes you in most of his plans and includes himself in yours

Especially if you’re going to get a pedicure, he’s like “I’M DOWN!!!”

Wants to do face masks with you and watch rom-coms since his friends don’t like that

Tells every single one of his girlfriends that you come before them and they find it cute until he ditches them on a date when you call him crying about your boyfriend

When you move out, he makes sure to make him a copy of your key and interrogates the security at your apartment building about every little detail. “Are those cameras in the elevator operational? How many break-ins have you had in the last two years?”

Will drag you to the gym with him when you stay too long on the couch

Complains about your driving even though you’re a better driver than he is

Buys you random things that remind him of you - like a stuffed lizard because it’s your favorite color

Seoham: The Gentle Protector

You can do no wrong to him

You’re perfect - it’s that simple

Almost fatherly in a sense

Wants only the best for you

Encourages you to do your best in school/work and pursue your dreams

Supports you 110% all the time

Will correct you if you need guidance but he does it lovingly

Takes you out on “sibling dates” when you were younger so you have high expectations of your future s/o

Probably won’t approve of anyone you bring home because no one can be good enough for their little sib

Looks intimidating but will pout and whine if you don’t want to talk about your problems with him

Doesn’t have good advice but he’s a great listener

Tells you men are terrible and encourages you not to date forever

Tries to have the birds and bees talk with you when you’re nine

Will panic when you get your period because he has no idea how to handle this new development so your parents are like “She’s the same person...just don’t be weird about it.”

Helps you play pranks on your other family members

Eventually you two have a prank war between you two

You thought you won until he replaced the sugar with salt one day when you were planning to make a cake for your friend

You were PISSED but had to acknowledge defeat at that point

He has a paper crown that says ‘KING OF PRANKS’

Gets you the oddest Christmas presents - like tire caps that are pink and sparkly

And a cereal dispenser - which you love but why the fuck would he get you that

Takes you to award shows so you get the chance to dress up

Whines that you’re too pretty and now he’ll have to shoo away all the guys from trying to hit on you

Glares at anyone who looks at you for too long

If you don’t do good in school, he’ll be very disappointed and blame himself

Tells you stop wearing his clothes if you’re gonna get make-up on the collars

Buys matching sibling shirts for you guys

Always smiling when you call/text/face time him

Wants to do holiday cards with you in those stupid onesies, even though you’re 28 years old

“You’re never too old for family pictures!!” “You’re 30 and wearing a Snoopy onesie...”

On your birthday, he’ll send you gifts at your school/work like big balloons or a flower arrangement

Brags about you to his friends even if they’ve known you for years

VERY affectionate

Will probably cry if you deny him a hug

Crying at your graduations

Cries when you get engaged

Crying the loudest when you get married like even more so than your parents

“You’ll always be my little sister.”

Dongwon: Overprotective

As your older brother, he feels the weight of the responsibility

You guys weren’t that close growing up since you’re girl

Didn’t know how to relate to you tbh

Asks your oldest brother for advice to be closer to you

Tries to be there for you but he gets distracted by his own life

Doesn’t let anyone bad mouth you EVER

Will stand up to anyone for you, even your own family

Has gotten into fights over some guy at school making an inappropriate comment about your skirt

Is so overprotective because he doesn’t want you to end up going down the wrong path

Goes about it the wrong way, let’s be real lol

If you try to sneak out, he’s on yo ass & will drag you back home

Will embarrass you in front of your friends and “your lil boyfriend”

“Who is this guy?” “Your BOYFRIEND? Hell no. Wait for me in the car.”

Lectures you about being responsible and focusing on school in order to be successful in life

You guys argue all the time when you’re teenagers/college age honestly

He’s so hardheaded and he doesn’t understand why you don’t see he’s doing this out of love

It takes your older brother to break it up and separate you two before you hurt each other feelings

Even though you do argue, he’s the first to make up. He can’t stay upset with you and it breaks his heart to see you crying because of something he said

He’ll buy your favorite food and apologize, wrapping you in his arms and kissing your head

You two get closer as you get older and you mature under both your brothers guidance

Thinks there’s no one in this world that deserves you so he won’t approve of anyone. You could bring home the nicest, kindest, sweetest guy and Dongwon would be like “Hm...I don’t like his vibe.”

HATES when you go out with your friends and will force his friends to come with him so he can keep an eye on you

Glares at anyone who tries to make a move on you, effectively keeping all potential suitors away from you

Is satisfied with himself when he grabs the drink some guy bought for you and downs it

Yep, he’s the one that will follow you on your first date and sit in the back of the restaurant with a hoodie and sunglasses on but you immediately spot him and sigh

Why is he like this

When he gets older, he will shower you in gifts to “make up” for him being an ass when you were younger

It makes you feel a little guilty but he got you a new macbook so you keep your mouth shut for the most part

Your relationship improves as you get older because he is more mature

Inseong: The “Twin”

Since you two are the youngest in the family, you guys are dotted on

But since you’re the baby, you get everything

He’s jealous of you when you two are children

He wants all the attention on him but then you were born

Asks your mom to return you when you were 3

Your oldest sister is the mediator but she goes thru puberty and you’re kind of on your own

Since you and Inseong are so close in age, you go to school together

He doesn’t speak to you much in school, you revolve in two different circles but he keeps an eye out for you 

Instead of him protecting you, you protect him and stand up for him since he’s too shy to say anything

He appreciates it a lot even if he doesn’t say much about it

One day a girl in his grade was making fun of how he laughs and she didn’t see you near by

So when you confronted her, it turned physical very fast and you were pulled off of her and sent to the principal’s office since you punched her first

Inseong heard about what happened and was worried about you but you were sent home before he could get to the office 

When he gets home, he’s relieved that you’re not hurt but he’s upset that you got into a fight for him. “You shouldn’t fight for me.”

“You’re my brother. I’d fight the whole school if they said something bad about you.”

He’s so touched, he’s crying in your arms now

You’re like wtf dude get a grip but just smile and tell him to be with you when you have to tell your parents what happened

After that you guys are inseparable - like twins

ALWAYS taking pictures of you and selfies with you two

Demands you take “candid” pictures of him. “Is it really a candid if you ask for it though?” “Just take it Y/N!”

He’s very cuddly with you and loves resting on you cause you’re tiny

Will buy you just about anything if you act cute to him

Complains when you steal his clothes & hoodies but doesn’t really care

He gives in to every suggestion you have

Mostly goes along with your bad ideas

Has to have you looking good in public because “you’re a reflection of me!”

Will be nervous if he brings a girl over to meet you and your older sister because he wants you two to approve of her and he knows how blunt you two are

Doesn’t want you to have a boyfriend because he doesn’t want you to “forget” about him

Pouts when you tell him you’re dating someone

HYPE man to the max

Will be bawling at your wedding then will sing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston but has to stop since he’s crying again

Asks to live with you after you get married because he misses you

You think he’s joking cause he laughed it off but he’s serious

He now lives 10 min walking distance from you

Heejun: The Bad Influence

Since y’all were so close in age, your parents made you do everything he did

If he played soccer, so did you

When he wanted to learn the guitar, you had to as well

You wanted to take dance classes? They signed him up too

Unfortunately for you, he was a boy wonder and excelled in literally everything, even the things you “forced” him to do

He’s always getting you in trouble though

In school or at home

Somehow manages to run and hide whenever someone is scolding you

One time, for a senior prank, he and his friends pulled the old ‘water bucket over the door’ trick on the dean and you somehow took the fall even though you were in class at the time

But it’s okay since you find him and beat him with whatever is in reach (backpack, math book, frying pan, your mother’s heels)

Always promises to make up for your suffering somehow

He’s still your favorite family member though

You two sneak out all the time

Some times to hang out with all your friends

Or he’ll drag you to a party

Heejun won’t let you drink underage though, HELL NO

Each time he sees you’ve some how managed to get another red solo cup, he’ll snatch it from you

Tries to set you up with his most responsible friend because he doesn’t trust none of the others honestly

Teasing the hell out of you for anything

“WooOOOOWW straight A’s? Your nerd is showing~”

Always screaming and making random noises that make you jump

Gets drunk one night when he’s in college and face times you at 3am to tell you that men are trash and don’t date anyone like him

Runs to you every time he has girl problems

He taught you how to hot wire a car and when you asked how he knew how to, he said “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Play wrestles you when you least expect it

Like you’re just walking in your house and you’re tackled from the side and put in a headlock with him screaming “TAP OUT! TAP NOW!”

When he finds out you were crying over a boy, he’ll throw on a hoodie and call his boys, “We ride at dawn, bitches. We’ve got to hurt some people.”

Literally will beat your ex’s ass for cheating on you and will play innocent when you question him, even though his knuckles are red and bruised. “Hm? Oh, this? I...fell. Yeah, that’s what happened.”

Pouts when you won’t come to his band’s performance 

Literally will whine and bitch about how you don’t love him if you don’t come and watch him play for the millionth time

Is always showing you physical affection of some kind - arm over your shoulders, ruffling your hair, nudging you, kicking you softly when he wants your attention

Will toss ice on you if you don’t wake up when he wants you to

Is basically a little shit

Demands you name your first kid after him if you wanted kids

Is very offended when you have a girl and don’t name it Heejun

But he’s the best uncle honestly - so sweet and loving. 

Completely different than how he treated you

Your daughter is his princess and he’ll deadass fight you if you tried to take her home after he spent the day with her.

“So you think you can just come back into our lives after all this time?”

“Give me back my kid. I was at work.”

#knk #knk as #knk kpop #knk scenario #knk reaction #kim jihun #park seoham #lee dongwon #jeong inseong #oh heejun #kpop scenario

[palmviolet]

season 3: my thoughts

CONTAINS SPOILERS

so. we’ve got the good and we’ve got the bad. starting off with what i liked:

joyce. she was so powerful and strong this season. they didn’t diminish her trauma from bob or even s1, showing she has ptsd. they also allowed her to be the one who saved them all and i’m so proud of my tiny wife :’)

jancy. i loved jancy’s storyline. probably the only storyline i didn’t have any issues with. i loved how they discussed the different issues facing them - sexism and classism respectively - and managed to come to an understanding. it was good to have another explicit recognition of the class issue with the byers family as well, rather than just subtext. but like, them as an investigative duo, ‘you’re relentless, you know that?’ like GAHHH

robin. now this was something i really didn’t expect. i was very apprehensive about the scoops troop because of the four of them only one was an original main - but turns out i didn’t need to be. i actually really enjoyed these scenes and they didn’t pander to the meme too much. and robin’s coming out scene?? poetic cinema. i actually felt so understood and while it’s likely not very realistic (especially from steve, who has been homophobic in the past) steve’s immediate acceptance felt so warm and nice.

erica. at first i was worried because they were going with the sassy black girl stereotype, but then- THEN- they fleshed her out, they made her a ‘nerd’ too, and honestly it was really good. she could have been annoying but she managed not to be. (congrats to priah, she did a good job).

elmax. i did enjoy elmax this season, though only tentatively (see below). finally we got some good solid female bonding. the mall scene was great. i also loved the scene when el came down the street to meet her with the skateboard. iconic.

mike and will’s fight. ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls.’ phew i got whiplash from that line - will’s face- i really wish they’d actually had will coming out this season or having any plot at all but i actually got chills with this. and then will destroying the castle???? i was crying.

jopper, murray, and alexei. i really liked this storyline. hopper being a smug bastard, murray playing freud again, idk i loved it. im glad jopper didn’t get together directly after murray psychoanalysed them like jancy did tho, because it felt a bit more mature which was right :) and alexei was so cute lol

hopper-byers family (ish). i am so goddamn happy that el ends up with the byers. it’s the only sensible place for her to end up after hopper dies. i just wish it was foreshadowed a bit more with joyce having a more obvious role in her life as a co-parent.

now, onto the dislikes. yikes.

hopper’s character for 80% of the season. i’ve talked about this already but honestly?? they screwed him up so much. horrifically overbearing parenting, drunkenness, and snark that was less sarcastic and funny than cruel. i didn’t like him half the time which honestly sucks, especially since this season they should have been building him up to make his death more tragic. so-

hopper’s death. it was done well, with his final acceptance and everything, giving joyce permission to flip the switch, but holy shit. joyce has been through so. goddamn. much now. the duffers are actually making their own jobs harder, because you can’t keep on piling your characters with trauma upon trauma without them suffering the consequences. they will have to be very careful next season with their handling of joyce. especially since this season the grief for his death was mainly focused on el, when it was joyce who spent all season with him. they should have grieved together, as the two who loved him most, but instead even when joyce does get her moment el has to come and interrupt it and make it all about her again. which leads me onto-

female bonding. sure, we got elmax. but it was placed in direct opposition to mileven. idk i got a lot of vibes that el could either be friends with max or date mike, which was not a great message to send - the whole elmax friendship seemed to be based on ideas about the boys. (does it pass the bechdel test? barely, probably.) and then the only other female bonding we get (aside from erica and robin, which was minor) is nancy and karen. they share a lovely scene, but it’s completely out of the blue. karen has been so absent and problematic these last few seasons and now she’s suddenly mom of the year again? it was a good scene, but personally i actually think it would have worked better with nancy and joyce. they have so much in common, they’ve been through a lot of the same things, and yet all we get is a silent hug at the very end. hmm. or even better, we keep the nancy & karen scene and get lots more female bonding scenes too. but i guess that would be too difficult.

will. oh my god, will. why the hell did they do him so dirty? his entire arc was ‘can we play d&d now, oh girls are stupid and gross, oh my friends treated me like shit but it’s all cool now.’ he had so much potential, even if we didn’t go with the will has powers storyline, even if we didn’t go with the coming out storyline like- ugh. noah is such a talent and they’re squandering him. like.. what??

m*leven. ugh i’m sorry i just... don’t care about m*leven. they’re cute?? i guess?? but so much time was spent on them. and they’re literally 14, i really don’t think they’re old enough to say they’re in love.

b*lly’s death. i guess he redeemed himself?? but ugh i didn’t want him to. didn’t shed a single tear ngl. and why was max so upset? he’s treated her like shit the entire time they’ve known each other.

the epilogue. the entire thing was awful in my opinion. the hopper voiceover was done well and i had tears streaming down my face the entire time but the context of it, and the scenes surrounding it- ugh. so we start off with a steve & robin scene that feels so incongruous i got whiplash. it’s really long, as well, and i just couldn’t concentrate on it because it lacked all the emotional weight of the scenes before. it was not good. and then we go through all the other characters’ reactions to the byers moving before we finally get to el and joyce, the two most affected by hopper’s death. el gets a very, very long scene. which is fine, because she needs to grieve her father figure. but throughout the season the el & hopper bond was so lacking that it felt odd for it to be so laboured at the end. meanwhile joyce gets little more than a sad look - an excellent look, winona deserves all the awards - but just a look. it lacked the emotional payoff we needed. and them all leaving? i get that joyce desperately needs a fresh start after hopper’s death, of course, but el needs her friends. and how the hell is s4 going to work? tbh i’m wondering if they’re just going to end it there. i hope they don’t, but they’re going to have to work very hard to make s4 succeed.

byers family. where the hell were my family interactions? joyce was apart from her sons all season (which in some ways was good, because she could grow beyond just being a mother) but the byers are what make this show so special. jonathan and will barely spoke to each other despite being in loads of scenes together. will should’ve been allowed to talk to jonathan or joyce about what he was going through with his friends. there should have been some bonding, goddamnit. maybe if they’d cut that karen and b*lly bullshit at the beginning, which, by the way, served absolutely no purpose?? at all? it didn’t advance the storyline in any way, shape or form?? wtf

anyway i’m sure there’s stuff i’ve missed, but here’s my preliminary thoughts. i actually did really enjoy this season, but i obviously have a lot of issues with it lol. it also didn’t really feel?? like stranger things?? like the vibes were completely different idk. feel free to drop me an ask telling me what you thought!

#jopper #joyce byers #jim hopper #stranger things #will byers #st spoilers #stranger things spoilers #st meta #st3

[rapperkookz]

older brother!yoongi

a/n: I had a texting post about this, but I wanted to make it an actual thing bc i fucking love yoongi

lowkey the absolute so f t est

he’s not super duper public about his love for you

but everyone knows that he adores you

it’s like his love for the boys, but amped up x100

you have his same gummy smile

you and yoongi never really fought when you were younger

he always looked after you and you just followed his lead

you both had a quiet understanding of your boundaries and it was nice

you kept each other company during family gatherings bc none of your family really clicked for you guys besides each other

yoongi took better care of you more than your parents did

he’d wake you up for school after you’d fallen back asleep

when you’d get home late from sports practice or whatever, he always made sure that you had some form of food waiting whether it be toast or ramen or leftovers

after he’s done with the bathroom, he’d knock on your door and say “wash up before going to bed”

he’d always make sure to come to your events even if he’s just watching from the side

he’s your #1 fan and when he debuts, you become his

he never told you about his struggles during training, even when you called him and he visibly looked so exhausted to you

from what little money you earned from your part-time job, you tried to send him some home care packages

you’re such a supportive lil sib, you always send him good luck texts before a comeback or concert or tour or award show

and there’s also the texts in the middle of the night

‘go to sleep idiot, you’re working too hard’

‘why the fuck are you awake it’s 4 am’

‘well why are you awake huh’

‘I’m working, you have no excuse, go to bed’

‘shut up bro, you too’

you’re both sarcastic with each other, but you also know it’s filled with love

first time he revealed you to the public was a tweet

he was getting back at you for sending the most embarrassing baby photo to the boys

and he posts the pic of you wearing goggles and ur swimsuit and ur like 12 or something but you look absolutely stupid and he’s laughing in the background

it had no context at all, it was just a pic of you and then a pic of yoongi laughing

and you were pissED like you hate that picture with all your life and now over 10 million people have seen it and you hate yourself

but he tweets afterwards

“at times when i’m down, I really miss my goofy sib. hopefully I can see em again really soon! but for now, back to work”

and your anger just like fizzled away

and you almost started crying because damn it’s been nearly a year since you saw your brother and you miss him so fucking much??

god im soft

REAL CRUCIAL MOMENT IN YOUR RELATIONSIHP W/ HIM

agust d - the last

you bet your fucking ass that you cried so damn hard listening to that track on his mixtape

your brother was struggling that much and you had no clue???

god you felt like such a shitty younger sibling

usually you’d text him to ask before facetiming

but you just pressed the little video cam button before thinking

he was busy ofc but he still answered

“hey kid, i’m sorta in the middle of something, can i call you back-hold on, why are you crying wtf”

you started apologizing like crazy for not being there for him

for being oblivious to his struggles

literally everything

and then how much you love him and how much he means to you

like you were a mess

yoongi gets so soft though

he excuses himself from whatever he was doing and soothes you

“hey...stop crying you big baby, i’m okay”

“you said you almost killed yourself in your mixtape...i don’t ever want to live in a world without you oppa/hyung...”

yoongi’s heart breaks

“you won’t ever have to lil one, i promise.”

then you tell him how much you love his mixtape and he gets so happy and relieved

he knows ur his biggest fan but like your validation still means so much to him

you two are still sarcastic w each other

but as he spends more time w the boys, he gets softer

which means he’s completely like jelly for you

will literally give into all your wishes

he will always ask to see a picture of holly whenever he texts you

even if it’s completely out of context

you: can u bring me a souvenir from malta?

yoongi: send me a pic of holly

when you start dating, he is the scary big brother

like he’s intimidating oof

will not even try to get to know your s/o

your s/o has to win his approval first before yoongi will even crack jokes w them

has probably threatened all the partners that you’ve ever had

you’re off limits to the boys obviously

which sucks bc you lowkey wanna get into their dms sometimes

but yoongi will smack you in the head every time you try to mention it

he cries at your wedding

you know his cry during the 2016 daesang award speech where he’s wearing the red suit from bst

and he just like sobs into his hand?

that’s how he’ll cry at your wedding

he’s the godfather to your first kid

and he spoils the fuck out of your kids like uncle yoongi??? the fucking best

when his songs talk about home, you’re ofc mentioned and an inspiration uwu

you’re always in his thanks to on his songs, albums, whatever

yoongi tries to show you how cool he is, but fails and you laugh

and he gets bitter

oh i love min yoongi

like i would honestly love him as a brother??

ok the end

#older brother!yoongi #i had this in my drafts for the LONGEST TIME #and i never finished it #until now oops #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #yoongi scenarios #yoongi headcanons #yoongi bullet au #yoongi au #bts au #bts scenarios #bts headca #bts bullet au #brother!bts #brother!yoongi #bts #beyond the scene #bangtan #bangtan boys #bts text post

[ssironstrange]

endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea 

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.”  SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this. 

#endgame

[helenarlett-rex]

Goosebumps Review #4

When I started this project, someone who will remain nameless asked me to do Camp Jellyjam. I understand now why you asked for this. You knew didn’t you? You knew what I was about to get myself into and you wanted to see my reaction. You wanted to see me suffer. 

Well, moving on with my quest to read all the Goosebumps books I never got to read as a kid…

(Spoilers ahead)

The Horror At Camp Jellyjam

Goosebumps (Original Series) #33

I have a lot to say about this one. More than I normally do. And let’s start out by saying, WTF did I just read? I remember this book from when I was a kid. I remember not reading it. That cover just freaked me the hell out. The man pictured on the cover is camp counselor Buddy, and just look at him. He’s pure nightmare fuel. Looking at the cover you would think this has the potential to be a really scary book. But then there’s that title. Camp Jellyjam? What kind of name is that? I had visions of a camp where they feed you some kind of weird jelly that turns you into a super happy, upbeat zombie, with an unnatural grin on your face, no longer in control of your mind as you try to force others to eat it while jelly gushes out the sides of your mouth… I think that may have actually been a thing… somewhere… I can’t remember… Maybe it was Are You Afraid Of The Dark… Well, that wasn’t what this was about… 

So this story ended up being about something that is truly scary… to me… Sports Camp. The most extreme sports camp, where kids are never given a moment’s rest, rushed from one sport to the next, constantly playing sports from morning to dusk, and being pushed to always win. There is no such thing as 2nd best. You have to win, win, win! This terrifies me. Sadly the story itself did not. 

So the story is about Wendy and her younger brother, Elliot, who are on a boring road trip with their parents. They decide to ride in the travel trailer hitched to the back of the car to get a break from their parents and as they are going up a mountain the trailer comes unhitched and they roll down the side until crashing into the woods. When they get out they find they have crashed right outside a summer camp called King Jellyjam’s Sports Camp and are instantly greeted by Counselor Buddy, who tells them they can rest at the camp while he contacts the authorities and tries to find their parents. And yeah, Buddy is described exactly as he is pictured on the cover. There is no doubt from the moment you see him that this guy is a grinning, mindless, forced to always be happy, zombie of a human being. So I find these kids really stupid for going with him. 

In fact, everyone in this book, other than Wendy, is too stupid to live. I’m of the opinion that Wendy should have been the soul survivor and everyone else would have deserved to die. And don’t say, but this is a Goosebumps book, people don’t actually die. You clearly don’t know what book we are reading here. This thing has an actual body count. And I’m not talking about ghosts. Yeah there are a lot of Goosebumps that have ghosts in them, and for there to be ghosts, it means someone had to die. But in those books any deaths have already happened and they are already ghosts when the book started. We don’t actually see anyone die over the course of the actual story. I’m talking about people who are alive when the story starts, but by the end of the story they are dead and there is no bringing them back. We actually have that in this one. 

I don’t know if this is the first, or only, Goosebumps to actually kill kids outside of the implied deaths in some of the twist endings, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it. So you may be thinking this sounds kind of awesome? What’s my problem with it? Well I have a number of problems with it. 

As soon as the kids get into the camp they aren’t treated like two kids who just went through a traumatic experience and need to find their parents. They are treated like normal campers and the counselors start pushing them right away to start competing in sports and even assign them bunks. And the kids just go along with this. Elliot, in fact, revels in it. He thinks the camp is the greatest thing ever and he doesn’t even seem to care about his parents, who are probably having a heart attack at this point. Wendy at least thinks something is off and wants to get back to her parents, but she doesn’t put up much of a fight when she is told to go play sports and act like the rest of the campers. These kids are dumb as mud… And they aren’t the only ones. 

There is a thing at King Jellyjam’s Sports Camp where every time you win a competition or something, you are awarded a gold coin with a picture of the camp mascot, King Jellyjam, on it. (King Jellyjam is a big purple blob with a gold crown on his head and his picture is everywhere.) And when you win 6 “King’s Coins” you get to walk in the victory march that night. There is a victory march every night for all the campers who won 6 coins, and no one who walks in the victory march ever comes back. Her first night there, Wendy’s bunk mate, Diedre, is in the Victory March and she doesn’t come back. Wendy and her other two bunk mates, Ivy and Jan, decide to sneak out after lights out and try to find her but instead they find a younger girl named Alicia running through the camp crying and screaming, telling them “I followed them! It was horrible! We have to get out of here!” So what is their reaction? Once Alicia runs away they decide to go back to their bunk. Because that seems natural. Clearly nothing is wrong here. But oh wait… Now all of Diedre’s clothes and things are gone. They have been removed from the cabin. So yeah they just go to sleep…

Next morning Wendy asks Buddy about Diedre and he just checks his clipboard and is like, “Oh yeah, she gone. Don’t know where. It just says she’s gone. Oh Alicia? Hmm… Yep, she’s gone too.” And when Wendy tries to tell this to Ivy and Jan? “Sorry Wendy can’t talk now. Got to go to our next event if we want to win 6 coins!” After everything they went through literally the night before, the next morning they have already stopped caring and are back to trying to win coins so they can be in the victory march… that no one ever comes back from… Even her brother, Elliot, suffers from this unimaginable stupidity and lack of concern for anything. Wendy is all like, “We have to get out of here and find Mom and Dad. The kids are disappearing every time they go on the victory march.” And Elliot is all like, “I can’t leave yet. I haven’t won my sixth coin yet. Don’t you ruin this for me. We will find Mom and Dad after I get a victory march.” 

See what I’m saying? Everyone in this book is too stupid to live and it’s ridiculous. Wendy is at least trying, but she’s not trying hard enough. And it’s not like there is some kind of supernatural force making the kids forget or compelling them to need to be in this victory march. The whole time I was waiting for that to be revealed as a thing, but it never was. They are just all literally that stupid and unconcerned with anything other than winning at sports. 

But when you stop to think about it… Maybe this is actually quite brilliant. Have you ever known any super hard core sports fans? People who only care about sports and if you aren’t talking about sports they won’t even give you the time of day? Those parents who just watch ESPN all day long and the only time they spend with their kids is when they take them to play sports that they forced them to sign up for? I’ve been related to people like that. It’s part of the reason I hate sports. Could it be that R.L. Stine was trying to make a point here? Taking this obsession people have with sports and stretching it out to it’s most extreme lengths? Showing us what happens when you let sports rule your life and stop caring about everything else? That’s actually really brilliant and quite frightening. Maybe I misjudged this book… 

Oh… wait… I just read the last few chapters… Never mind. I retract all statements of this being brilliant. 

So in the final few chapters we see Wendy sneaking out after dark again and following the camp counselors who all sneak off into the woods. They all meet up in a building that is shaped like an igloo for… no reason that was ever given… where they all sit in front of a stage and watch as Buddy uses a gold coin on a chain to hypnotize them. Every night Buddy hypnotizes all of the counselors, himself included, into emptying their minds, forgetting everything and becoming blank slates just there to serve their master. And who is their master? Well down in the basement of this secret cult igloo is King Jellyjam, the purple blob who’s image is posted all over the camp. 

Oh but he’s not a blob like you are thinking. He’s not made of slime or goo. He’s a giant (the size of a house) blob of flesh, with a head and two arms. And he stinks. And his body is covered in slime. And he sweats snails. No you heard that right… When he sweats instead of liquid, he has living snails push themselves out through his pores. I can’t make this shit up. And all the kids who win 6 coins? They are taken to him to be his slaves. It’s their job to wash him constantly because he stinks so bad he has to be bathed 24/7. The kids have to just keep washing him constantly, never given a break. If a kid stops working, even for a minute, King Jellyjam eats them. This is the most batshit insane, out of nowhere crap I have ever seen in a Goosebumps. 

But this is also where our body count comes in. Diedre and Alicia, who are still alive somehow even though they have been down there for like 3 or 4 days by this point, tell Wendy all of this. They emphasis it by informing her that he already ate 3 kids today. There’s 3 kids who have actually died in a Goosebumps book and there is no bringing them back after the monster is killed. They are just gone. But when you think about it, if he eats someone the moment they stop working, how many kids has he eaten over the 5 or so days Wendy has been there? Working non-stop? Not even aloud to sleep or eat? I’d be amazed if most kids could last 2 days. This is the point where you have to realize that most of the kids you saw go on the victory marches through the course of the book are already dead at this point. That just strikes me as interesting because it’s the first time I’ve seen it in Goosebumps.

Now naturally Wendy kills King Jellyjam. She tells all the kids to stop washing him and lay fat on the floor. Because King Jellyjam’s fingers are so fat that if they are laying flat on the floor he can’t pick them up. I’m not sure how the logistics of this actually work, but for the sake of the book it works. He can’t pick any of them up to eat them and when all the kids stop washing him it only takes a matter of minutes before the smell is so bad King Jellyjam actually chokes to death on his own stench. I kid you not. 

Again I’m questioning the logistics of all of this because if the smell is bad enough to kill King Jellyjam in only a couple of minutes, how does it not kill all the kids who are having to lay on the floor until he’s dead? For that matter, how did any of this even get started? Has King Jellyjam always been like this? What did he do to keep from stinking to death before he had a camp to help him enslave children? I’m assuming the hypnotized counselors built the camp for him but how did he get a bunch of hypnotized counselors in the first place? This is a summer camp… if he eats the kids the moment they are no longer able to keep working, what does he do during the rest of the year when he doesn’t have a daily supply of fresh kids brought to him? 

But none of those questions will ever be answered. King Jellyjam dies, the kids all leave the igloo, and within minutes the police are storming the camp to rescue them. Apparently the smell was so bad that it only took a matter of minutes to attract the entire police force… I’m not sure how… Was there a police station just minutes away in the middle of the woods on the side of a mountain? But whatever, I’m not sure how anything else in this book worked either. 

I would like to give this book credit for not having a ton of fake out scares at the end of every chapter. There are some but not a ton. Although I did find it weird that Stine ended the book on a fake out scare instead of the traditional “not out of the woods yet” twist ending. Maybe after actually killing a bunch of kids in this book he wanted to end it on a more comical note… But I also have to take away credit for all the sports stuff. I kid you not, the first 12 or so chapters focus more on sports activities than the actual scary stuff you are reading it for. I mean describing every action of every game being played for the first quarter of the book white the scares are just an afterthought. It’s not until Diedre goes missing somewhere around chapter 13 that Stine finally stops talking about sports and starts trying to scare us. 

All in all I just don’t know what to make of this thing. Is it brilliant social commentary? Is it lazy story writing? Or is it just the batshit crazy ramblings of a mad man?

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 4 Rewatch 2019

Otherwise known as: “The Long Slow Slide to D and D Running Out of Material from the Books”

4x01: 

1. The visuals of Ice getting melted down are SO PRETTY (while RoC plays on the background 😎 living my best Lannister Life over here.)

2. Jaime getting the sword and trying NOT to be Lord of Casterly Rock and HOLY SHIT TELLING TYWIN NO and getting away with it.

3. Tyrion is trying so hard to greet the Dornish politely... poor guy.

4. It’s pride month so I’m just pointing out that Oberyn is soooo biiiii and This Bi Girl loves him. And him playing with the flame and Ellaria trying to stop him from killing the Lannister who insulted him... I just love their dynamic.

5. Drogon is just a big happy dragon-Cat and in Dany’s first appearance of this season. He PURRS.

6. I love Jaime and Cersei’s scene with Jaime’s new hand. They snipe at each other, but it is SO how they interact.

7. Jon and Sansa reacting to Robb’s death :(

8. GUESS WHO DID NOT MISS JANOS SLYNT OR ALLISER THORNE AT ALL THATS RIGHT MEEEE. Also Alliser is Peter Knox in a Discovery of Witches so I just HATE HIS FACE.

9. TREAT THAT BOOK MORE CAREFULLY JOFFREY YOU LITTLE SHIT and treat your uncle more nicely too. Jaime looks a little taken aback at what a little turd his oldest has become, but handles it well I think.

10. Jaime and Brienne trying to sort out how to keep his vow to Catelyn 🤣

11. YES ARYA GET NEEDLE BACK. Also Sandor being like NO CHILD COME BACK HERE DO NOT RUSH INTO DANGER WITHOUT ME is precious.

12. Sandor Clegane saying FUCK THE KING gives me such satisfaction

13. I should not be so happy about Arya re-enacting the time when Polliver

14. But I am happy that Sandor got his chickens

4x02

1. So I had forgotten that the girls who were in the scene where Theon gets cut are Myranda and the girl Ramsay is hunting later. I remembered how much I hate the Myranda thing real quick, though.

2. I love Tyrion being understanding of Jaime’s disability because HE WOULD BE. Also Tyrion pouring wine on the table to be like “look spilling is no big deal” is PRECIOUS.

3. Bronn knocking Jaime around while sparring is a great source of joy to me.

4. Theon finds out that Robb is dead when he’s got a RAZOR TO RAMSAY’S THROAT I can’t with Alfie’s face.

5. Every time I see Joffrey chop that book in half I want the purple wedding to be right now.

6. Tyrion trying to make Shae leave :...(

7. KEEP AWAY FROM SHIREEN, RED WOMAN, said Davos probably a lot

8. Question: why don’t the direwolves being food BACK to the hungry humans? Especially when Bran can warg into them?

9. So I want to go through every frame of that vision Bran has with the weirwood because the one we haven’t seen before is a Dragons over King’s Landing. Those ARE THE ROOFS YOU SEE IN THE NEXT SHOT FOR THE WEDDING.

10. Haha oh right this IS the purple wedding ep ooops I’d almost forgot. Not sorry for wishing death on Joffrey but sorry for Cersei’s sake and everyone else it fucks over.

11. Loras having eye sex with Oberyn cracks me up I mean they both have eyes and good gaydar... (bi-dar? queer-dar?)

12. Is Margaery... flirting with Brienne? Or is that just Margaery’s personality?

13. JAIME’S FACE when he sees Brienne and Cersei talking is SO FUNNY he’s like shit shit shit DANGER

14. What did Qyburn DO for Cersei that she is recommending to other women? She told him symptoms were gone in a previous ep in a weird mysterious way... did he help her end a pregnancy?? How long has it BEEN since Blackwater? This never comes back again but I’m super curious. 

15. Oberyn has zero chill around Tywin and I love it.

16. Margaery looking like she is is going to murder someone during the war of the five Kings show is A Mood. (I mean... there IS about to be a murder.)

17. I don’t think the Tyrells planned it but Joffrey being a shit and making Tyrion touch his wine goblet and SANSA TOUCHING IT TOO played right into their hands.

4x03: oh brother here comes altar sex

1. I want very much for Hector Barbossa to be waiting at the top of that ladder for Sansa after approaching the ship and the creepy fog. But no it’s Petyr Baelish. Ew.

2. Hello new Tommen! Good to see you again after Karstark killed your identical cousin! Also Tywin being like GOOD KINGS ARE SMART AND LISTEN TO THEIR SMART ADVISORS. (That moment when a sitting US president needs to listen to Tywin. Scary?)

3. Altar sex has not aged well for me. I’m not a J/C shipper who thinks they’ve got a healthy relationship that’s all sunshine and kitties. I know the two of them have a messed up dynamic, but this scene misses the mark in so many ways and I hate it. I wish they would have left it out rather than done it wrong. (Also I think it was a tryout for me for “can you get a valonqar scene right?” And the answer was a resounding NO.)

4. Speaking of healthy relationships though Sam and Gilly are cute and sweet and awkward and everything that is good and pure in this world.

5. And so is Davos telling Shireen about his smuggling adventures.

6. Oberyn sat his beautiful self right in the middle of the Kinsey scale and said THE VIEW IS GREAT HERE. What an icon. Also offering Tywin fricking Lannister a seat on the bed where you were just having sex with like FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE was A Move.

7. Tywin TELLS OBERYN ABOUT DANY and Oberyn looks like this is the first he’s heard of it.

8. Tyrion saying goodbye to Pod gave me a decent sized lump in my throat.

9. Daario taking down the Champion Of Meereen with one thrown dagger and one slash of a sword is sexy as fuck and I don’t care who knows I think so.

4x04

1. Missandei teaching Grey Worm and just hanging out with him is so important to me this time around.

2. Jaime and Bronn are weird friends and I kind of love it.

3. The Kingslayer Brothers: coming soon to a stage near you. I’d buy that band’s shirt.

4. Olenna Tyrell is a STONE COLD LADY and I love that about her. She protected her granddaughter and I respect that.

5. That is A LOT OF WINE IN THAT GLASS Cersei my love. Also Jaime TRYING to convince her Tyrion didn’t do it hurts me. He loves them both so much, but they all hurt each other.

6. Ser Pounce is a big fluff like my Freya!

7. OATHKEEPER AND THE WHITE BOOK AND THE ARMOR. Brienne’s face is so pure when he gives it to her.

8. I had near forgotten all of this stuff at the wall with Olly and Jon and the cannibals and the mutineers at Craster’s and waiting for Mance’s army. (We know where my heart is though, don’t we...)

9. SIT DOWN LOCKE. I forgot that human shitstain showed up at the wall looking for Bran.

10. We didn’t need the mutineer plot. What did it add? What did we learn about the world or its people? Nothing we didn’t already know. What. Was. The. Point. We’d already seen the walkers and knew about the babies, we knew the world was violent and classist. WE KNEW.

11. I love when Summer is like HELLO BROTHER GHOST OH NO A TRAP

12. The white walker riding across the frozen lake... what a gorgeous image, and the ice henge...

13. WHAT DO THE BLUE EYED ICE BABIES GROW UP TO BEEEEE DO WE EVEN KNOW

4x05

1. I’d say long live King Tommen, but I’d cry.

2. Cersei is beauty she is grace she wants to punch Margaery in the face. (But actually is acting like she might need Margaery to help Tommen? That scene was hard to read.)

3. Meereen has a lot of cool geometrical carvings.

4. Dany thinking about what kind of ruler she wants to be and what responsibilities she has to the people she freed? THAT IS WHO SHE IS, D AND D YOU DICKS.

5. Sansa’s like “greeeeeaaaaat another creepy little kid” when she meets Robin.

6. And Lysa lets it ALL OUT about what Petyr has had her do... wow.

7. Cersei is going along with the Tyrell marriages way too easily what is her game.

8. Tywin is... almost treating his daughter like someone he can trust and have a conversation with? What is this?

9. And then there’s the stupidity about the mines running out. Wtf.

10. Arya is a little drama queen with saying the Hound’s name last while HE WAS LISTENING.

11. Lysa is SO DAMAGED. Poor Sansa.

12. Aw Brienne you don’t know what a loyal kid you’ve got in Podrick give him a chance.

13. Arya practicing water dancing is so cool.

14. Cersei and Oberyn talking is actually really interesting. And they talk about Myrcella :....( and Oberyn is TELLING THE TRUTH about her being happy.

15. Cersei got her A BOAT for her birthday because she LIKES THE OPEN WATER I had forgotten that and I am freaking out for fic reasons because of fics I haven’t written yet that involve Myrcella being good at boats.

16. Geez Pod I don’t know how to skin a rabbit but I know you need to before you cook it. And... does Brienne actually need help with that armor, or does she realize Pod needs to feel useful? I’m going with the second.

17. I had forgotten how creepy Jojen’s visions were.

18. Bran warging into Hodor and killing Locke is... problematic, but Bran had every reason to think Locke was going to kill him. Good fucking riddance.

19. Jon being happy to see Ghost XD

20. So... there’s just a troop of Crasters daughters out there still? Idek.

4x06 the laws of gods and men (and by men we mean Tywin)

1. Braavos is so pretty! I love her. I love her canals, I love the Titan, I love the domes, I just love her.

2. I remember when people lost their shit over Mark Gattis being in this episode. He is quite good here, and Davos is quite clever.

3. Salador’s joke about the red shirt is FUNNY and I’m not afraid to say so.

4. No one wants to see Ramsay having sex.

5. EVERYONE wants to see Yara giving a great speech.

6. She... ran from some dogs when she was burying her axe in dudes’ GUTS five seconds earlier? LAAAAAAME. Yes yes she also saw how fucked up in the head Theon was (more awards Alfie deserved and didn’t get), and she did want to lose any more people when he wasn’t willing to come but the way this was cut it reads like she was all OH NO DOGS which is the stupidest thing ever. 

7. NOOOO POOR GOATS. I get that dragons have to eat though...

8. I cannot believe Dany didn’t take the time to FIND OUT WHICH MEEREENESE WERE LESS TERRIBLE. They would have been fucking allies. BUT NO LET’S JUST CRUCIFY PEOPLE WITH NO IDEA OF THE NUANCES OF THE LOCAL SITUATION. What stupidity.

9. At least she’s trying to learn??? She’s so small on that throne in a huge room. What a great shot.

10. Oberyn is a bisexual who CANNOT SIT IN A CHAIR NORMALLY. I am not complaining.

11. I cannot see the scene of Jaime and Tyrion walking down into the courtroom for the trial without giggling at the memory of the outtake where they dance like dorks into the room and down the aisle.

12. Jaime looking at Tyrion like YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOURSELF is a mood.

13. How did they get the poison necklace? Didn’t Littlefinger throw it in the Blackwater FAR off shore? A bit AFTER he killed Dontos? How does Pycelle have it here? Maybe they washed up together? Maybe D and D forgot Petyr tossed it in the bay? WHO KNOWS???

14. Jaime trying to convince Tywin one last time and offering to leave the kingsguard in exchange for Tyrion HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HE DID THAT. Cersei never would have spoken to him again if he’d left her and married and gone back to the Rock and given Tywin what he wanted. Jaime KNEW he was screwing over a relationship that means SO MUCH TO HIM but it’s TYRION’S LIFE we’re talking about here. That’s how much he loves his little brother. 

15. Tywin is like DONE so fast Jaime barely gets the offer out lol

16. And it all would have worked if Shae hadn’t walked through those doors.

17. Do we know WHY Shae agreed to testify to this? What did Tywin offer her or threaten her with?

18. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BRO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS?! is Jaime’s face all the time this scene.

19. Tyrion’s “confession”is such a piece of acting wow Peter enjoy your Emmys.

4x07

1. Jeez Tyrion didn’t know Jaime COULDN’T save him. He had no idea that losing his hand had affected his abilities that badly. That... hurts.

2. Arya, Sandor, and the dying farmer is such a great scene... And Arya only killing that asshole only after Sandor learns his name for her so she knows the name of the man she’s killing.... A++ would watch again.

3. Everyone LISTEN TO JON he has seen things none of you have.

4. Tyrion finding out Bronn has been bought is so very upsetting but I love this scene.

5. But really though once Tywin named The Mountain champion, anyone who Tyrion asks to be his champion at this point he’s basically asking to die.

6. Dany’s like “well I guess fucking Daario isn’t going to cause a political disaster at least.”

7. I had forgotten how fascinating Selyse and Melisandre’s interactions are.

8. IS THAT SETTING UP BURNING SHIREEN FUCK THAT.

9. Dany is capable of nuanced thought when it comes to innocence and guilt of whole groups of people and WE JUST SAW IT with how Jorah changes her mind and I’m JUST SO ANGRY.

10. That is the only time we get the story of Sandor and the fire from his own mouth and I did not mean to be this moved.

11. Hot Pie talking about food (oh yeah and Arya) is so precious. And now I want steak and kidney pie. With gravy.

12. “Using honest feelings to do dishonest work is one of her greatest talents.” The truest thing Tyrion has ever said about Cersei.

13. What a great snow castle. Too bad Joffrey part 2 knocked it down.

14. Ew ew ew Petyr kissing Sansa is so skeevy and gross.

15. “A great deal might change between now and never” is a great line though.

16. I hate Petyr but it’s good he pushed Lysa out the Moon Door before she killed Sansa.

4x08

1. Jon and Co all reminding Sam that Gilly is a survivor is so great. Brotherhood at its best.

2. Missandei and Grey Worm are young people with old souls and their relationship is precious to me.

3. Alfie is SO GOOD at showing how deeply Ramsay has him under his control even when he’s alone with the Ironborn.

4. Petyr is part Braavosi? Fascinating.

5. Sansa TOLD the Lords of Vale who she was??? Her testimony is such a good bit of acting on Sansa’s part. It’s a lie hidden in a lot of truth, and she was QUICK to think it through and come up with it.

6. Jorah telling Dany about the pardon is a scene that breaks my heart. 💔 She is HARSH here but I love the full blown Targaryen on display.

7. Roose being like TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE like the Lion King cracks me up so hard.

8. I will never give Ramsay the Bolton name in anything I write as long as I am a fan of this show out of pure hatred. He is Ramsay Snow forever and always.

9. I remember I was so worried that they were going to have Petyr try to sexually assault Sansa. OH I WAS A SWEET SUMMER CHILD.

10. Arya laughing at the news of Lady Arryn’s Death is an immensely human reaction and I love that she just CANNOT STOP.

11. I know people hated that scene with Jaime and Tyrion talking about beetles but I have two takeaways: first, a septon tried to touch Jaime once???? Headcanon: Little Jaime looked that septon dead in the eye and said “my father wouldn’t like that” and it never happened again. The septon was summarily replaced. Second: Jaime has never thought about ANYTHING in his whole life as deeply as baby Tyrion thought about beetles.

12. Oberyn is so fun to watch fight and Jaime agrees with me.

13. You don’t need him to confess Oberyn really you don’t you GOT HIM my beautiful prince.

14. How did the Gods make their will known if BOTH champions killed each other dead, huh Tywin? (The Mountain is... less Dead?)

4x09

1. Sam mulling over the legalistic interpretation of their vows and Jon trying to explain what sex and love are like are both SO CUTE.

2. I love that everyone around that fire has heard the “Tormund fucked a bear” story and I’m kind of sorry Ygritte didn’t let him finish.

3. Maester Aemon revealing his Targaryen identity was lovely. Also Sam Cussing to get Gilly in the gate= AMAZING

4. Alliser Thorne ADMITTING HE WAS WRONG? I am dead of shock.

5. Sam and Pyp talking about fear and bravery is... so darling.

6. They have A GIANT RIDING A MAMMOTH and I will forgive a small amount of nonsense for giving me that image.

7. See Alliser looking at the horn blower like REALLY? IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH? Before they realize it’s the horn at Castle Black is PRICELESS.

8. Speaking of which I may not like Alliser but he gives a good “let’s not die” speech.

9. Bless Grenn for getting Janos Slynt off the wall.

10. Pyp dying in Sam’s arms was not something I was ready for.

11. You’ve heard of horsepower... now get ready for MAMMOTH POWER (wildling used mammoth salesmen probably)

12. Sam remembering that being NICE to Olly when asking to go up the wall rather than just screaming at him is... telling.

13. Grenn is THE BEST KID AND I LOVE HIM

14. Ghost is going to EAT SOME WILDLINGS

15. Ygritte :...(

16. How is Tormund even ALIVE??? He’s like a frickin PIN CUSHION.

17. “They held the gate” is a line that will make me cry now. Grenn and co. Didn’t let that giant through :...(

3x10: back when D and D remembered the Children existed that one time

Also back when Jaime had a plan that didn’t end with ANY OF HIS FAMILY KILLING EACH OTHER BUT TYWIN ENDS UP DEAD ANYWAY WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS.

1. Jon deciding single-handedly that he’s going to KILL Mance Rayder. Boss move.

2. Oh FFS. Pull the stick out of your ass Stannis and let Mance be.

3. Qyburn is like “out of my way bitch I’m doing necromancy”

4. Cersei telling Tywin the truth to get out of Marrying Loras is... still... making my jaw drop and I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT. And there’s ACTUAL EMOTION on Tywin’s face and EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ABOUT PAYING SOME REAL FUCKING ATTENTION TO HIS FAMILY IS TRUE

5. Ah yes “Jaime writes his family’s dialogue” part one. I CHOOSE YOU OMG AND SEX IN THE LORD COMMANDER’S OFFICE I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT. Even if I’m still on the fence about whether Jaime would be ok with doing it THERE I’m mostly on board because she JUST TOLD DAD THE TRUTH AND TOLD HIM HE WAS THE ONE SHE WANTED AND I DON’T KNOW WHO LET THE SHIPPERS WRITE THIS SCENE BUT YAY.

6. Dany is still learning all kinds of nuance... I feel like the year contract thing was an attempt to balance her need to be a liberator and the reality on the ground?

7. You are telling me that the Dany who was that upset at Drogon eating ONE child let him burn a WHOLE CITY? I call bullshit.

8. Also this is a CLASSIC example of “one sibling does something wrong and the other two get punished for it” poor Viserion and Rhaegal.

9. Maester Aemon knows how to give a mass eulogy.

10. MEANWHILE NORTH OF THE NORTH HI BRAN meet the hugest weirwood in Westeros AND SOME ICE ZOMBIES

11. POOR MEERA I FORGOT SHE HAD TO HELP JOJEN DIE

12. If the children can do that WHERE ARE THEY LATER

13. holy shit bloodraven is creepy

14. Arya and Brienne meeting :) so cute

15. And Sandor being like YOU ARE TOO NAIVE TO PROTECT HER is cute in its own way.

16. Wow Brienne and Sandor really knock the shit out of each other how are they still alive.

17. Sandor saying awful things to Arya to make it easier for her to kill him was tragic and you can see the desperation in his eyes even as he says the worst of it.

18. JAIME LANNISTER MAKES DECISIONS HE WILL REGRET LATER LIKE NOT GOING ALL OF THE WAY TO THE BOAT WITH TYRION

19. I Had forgotten how rough that last conversation between Tywin and Tyrion was and how devastating those performances are.

20. Varys being like oh fuck those bells I’m going too... prescient.

21. Love the music with Arya on the ship to Braavos!

#summersea has feels about got #summersea got rewatch 2019

[skyhopedango]

I watched the last episode as a sort of Christmas present, and AAHHHH THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN ❤ A gift that could have been only more perfect if Doug & Kirill actually kissed* and/or there was a second season announced. But seriously, please do a second season! Please! I’ll buy everything! (which reminds me, I’ve got to get the manga) I just love this stupid show and these two idiots and the rest of Seven-0 too much to let go! 

So the whole thing was a ruse, except for the parts that weren’t except they were (Doug, you’re such a troll :D) and the villain is defeated and Yuri is back because of course she is, and we still don’t know why Kirill’s landlady is such a badass, but anyway, even Stan Lee Random Old Dude is back and things are back to normal and there’s HAPPY END FOR ALL. ❤

Random points of interest:

The whole A part. It’s all one huge cliché after another, except as it turns out that’s exactly the point, and holy crap, let’s all have a moment of silence for the fourth wall that’s been wholly and thoroughly demolished. :DDD

Seriously, just Kirill’s monologue as he’s escaping with Doug. It’s just everything. I’m fairly certain it wasn’t self-destruction that blew up the building, it was simply that it couldn’t take all the fourth wall breaking they’d been doing.

Also Doug’s entire plan was basically “the villain will always take the good guys’ bait” lol, and here I thought Kirill was the genre savvy one. :D

(On that note, dude, Cooper. Had it ever occurred to you that maybe you could have just gotten some blood and tissue samples. It’s not like you need the entire human for that kind of research.)

“You have the right to remain silent. Probably.” :D

“If Doug says he’s gonna save the world he’ll get it done by EOB and then go home” :DDD So true. I love Doug so much. 

“If Doug’s a hero then I’m his sidekick!” I love Kirill too, that adorable genre savvy dork. But also that note about whether being the one who needs to be saved makes him the heroine... I mean that would mean he’s Doug’s heroine. Like... I don’t even expect anything from the fandom at this point but still I’d just really really really want to see Doug riff on that.

And then we have an epilogue and everything is great and everyone is great and there are enough sequel hooks for a second season, and then some, and we even get a post end credit joke that also serves as a sequel hook, kind of.

On that note, btw. I keep seeing people being all “wtf was that plot twist about space colonies, what kind of shit plot is this!” and like... look, this show isn’t going to win any awards for story (it kind of crammed two seasons’ worth of story into one, and it shows) but also: 1. this is a silly buddy cop action comedy, if you want to be hung up over the plot, of all things, then be my guest but I think that’s kind of pointless; and 2. the show had been hinting at something going on with the world and things not being what they seemed to be since forever. Sure, the actual development we got was not exactly the one I’d expected, but ever since the reality show parody it had been blindingly obvious that there was a second world somewhere. So yeah.

I could go on but it’s really late and tomorrow I have all sorts of family things to take care of, so I’ll just say that I loved loved LOVED this show, it was my favorite in 2018 TV anime. Thank you everyone who was involved with it!!! I’m going to rewatch this a lot, and keep hoping for a second season.

Until then... well, I guess I still have the recap episode to watch. :D 

*Then again... At this point who even needs a kiss? With the way Doug keeps looking at Kirill. Or the way Kirill totally had a DOKI! moment when Doug said he was there to save him. Or that “he’s my hero” monologue (and I’d like to reiterate that he even fleetingly entertains the thought of being Doug’s heroine, even though he decides to be his sidekick). And the way Doug said his name. And the flowers from the hospital episode. And Doug saying Kirill was his hero in that same episode. And making up for not saving him in that one episode when Kirill wasn’t really in any danger, by coming in guns blazing to save him now when he is in danger. Basically they’re just really into each other at this point romantically or not and they just need each other in their lives. Period.

#double decker #double decker: doug and kirill #doug and kirill #they really need to get married #i loved this show so much #second season PLEASE

[jujuspams]

Sakura Haruno

Sakura “I’ll heal you just to kick yo ass again” Haruno

Also known as Sakura “ I told you I’ll get the dick” Uchiha

Now I’m not gone lie, they did my bitch hella dirty early in the series

Buts that for later

So let’s get into this

My bitch was a student of one of the Legendary Sannin

And not just that but her teacher was the baddest bitch of them all

Not only did she teach her how to heal but with the extreme training she received she got the strength that we all know and love

Who the fuck approved this scene

I just want to talk

Like wtf this was supposed to be her fucking awakening

Not only did Lee jump in but she was saved by Sasuke

Like who the fuck thought that was a good idea

That was my bitch’s time to shine and y’all ruined it

Y’all had her cut ha hair and everything

And the sad thing about it is I honestly think she could have won that fight by herself

She was outsmarting the fuck outta all of them

See this is what I’m talking about

This fight right here showed that Sakura can handle herself

She showed smarts, strength, and fucking stamina

Like my bitch was not backing down

And for those of you saying Lady Choi did all the work can suck my imaginary dick

Because Sakura saved ha fucking life

She fucking made an antidote for Sosari’s poison

And he said himself that even HE had to go back and check his shit

Not only did she make one, my bitch made three

Tbh I can go on with this fight but we have more to discuss

Omg do y’all see this strong bitch

One thing I can give Boruto is that it has been giving my bitch the recognition she deserves

She didn’t even touch it that was from her punching the air

I honestly just love her

Bitch she’s not even breaking a sweat

She does this shit flawlessly

My family hated me when this episode came on

Cause I was deadass screaming

She was like I still got it bitch

A kid ain’t slow ha down at all

She was digging into Shin’s shit

He was talking all that shit and got his ass whooped

You can tell they actually put some money into this fight

Cause my bitch was working his toothless ass

With all them damn eyes you would’ve thought he could see his ass beating coming

But ig not

Yo ass beating was not in vain though

You showed us that my bitch will forever be about it

Shin just took L after L this day

Like it only took one punch to put his ass down

His ass thought he was about to mess with Sadara

You better think again bitch

One thing you can’t take from her is that my bitch is always ready to bang

It didn’t matter who it was she was ready to throw hands

She was even throwing hands with Kaguya

And that bitch might as well been a damn god

And I don’t care if it was just a punch

My bitch was still down to do it

This is another fucking fight that should have been scrapped

They stayed doing my girl dirty to focus on the niggas of the show

Like how do all the niggas on her team win with no problem but her first fucking fight she loses in a fucking tie

A tie.....like what was y’all niggas smoking so I know to avoid that shit at all costs

She not only broke Ino’s special jutsu but she had the upper hand in strength

Her losing was so fucking stupid to me

I just couldn’t wrap my head around that shit

I have again been stopped by the ten image limit

Something tells me this is going to happen often

But as y’all can see from the evidence Sakura deserves the bad bitch award

#anime #toonami #anime imagines #sakura #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #naruto imagines #bad bitch series #sakura imagine

[satellitekookmin-blog]

can everyone give bts a break now?

so much is going on rn, like jungkook, jimin and the other members being exhausted enough to be collapsing backstage, jimin getting all the fucking hate in thhe world for not going to kook when he was being taken care of by staff (professionals). "oh its because jikook broke up"!! fuck off. jikook isnt canon, for one, and they have not broken up thats such a stupid thing to assume.

and yes, theres a chance jikook are together, but its just as possible as any other loud ship like taekook, taejin (i know its not popular but they have a lot of cute interactions) or vmin (who are pretty romantic as well) or yoonseok or namjin. whats definitely true is that they are insanely close friends, all seven of them. jimin and jungkook love each other a lot and just because they arent acting as romantic at the moment is not because theyve had some major fall out!! cmon guys

and tbh, they dont look like something bad is going on between them... a lot of people are saying theyre taking a break from each other after a disagreement but i dont think thats the case, i think the whole band is having a hard time right now, they've been on tour for months, theyve worked their asses off for award shows, theyre constantly being filmed for bangtan bombs, run episodes, interviews, AND theyre already working on a new album (wtf bh)

jimin and jungkook are probably too mentally/physically tired to do anything but just appreciate the time they get to sit down and rest for a bit at award shows and if they are a couple, remember they have to be careful about outing themselves, especially in Asia, so it makes sense if they calmed down for the japan concert and had loads more moments in america

the other thing that really pisses me off is the hate jimin gets for anything he does with jungkook. taekookers hate him for "stealing" jungkook from taehyung, jungkook solo stans hate him for ignoring jk when he nearly passed out (bare in mind jimin was just as exhausted and he was also onee of the only members who checked on jk on stage), stupid jikook shippers are calling him selfish and heartless for not stopping when jungkook collapsed

fucks sake

give him a break.

give them all a break, theyre too tired, cant you just support them all.

thats it, sorry for going on about jikook but they are my main ship and all the theories about a breakup and jimin not caring about kook is kinda upsetting, we dont even know if theyre a couple!

soz

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #bts #im really worried about them.. #especially jungkook and jimin #kookmin

[murfeelee]

Shadowhunters - RANT ALERT

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “Yasumi no Edo - Pt2c ( Tōkyō Dizunīrando no Hanabi) The special…”

WHY TF ARE THEY CANCELING THE SHOWWWW

Because Freeform’s too dang stupid to know not to bite the hand that feeds it, that’s why!

These articles (X X) are giving me ulcers. I can’t believe this is happening. I just can’t. They’re cancelling my show. We won’t get Season 4.

They’re stopping Season 3B at City of Heavenly Fire, and not adapting the other books. So does this mean no Malec adopting their sons? No Malec proposal? No Malec wedding? Are y’all serious right now?

They had the nerve to push back the airing of Season 3B --  Todd & co. had originally said that it would air this August, but that tweet was deleted hella fast, and now they’re saying 3B won’t air till Spring 2019! JESUS! O_O First that long hiatus waiting for 3A, and now this!? Waiting a whole year for a show that’s gonna be cancelled right after 3B finally airs!? WTF!?

So, what am I supposed to do -- sit here and stew in my depression!?

This is hell.

This is LITERAL HELL, people.

I’m so mad at Freeform & Netflix, I don’t even have the words. It’s corporate shenanigans and power plays, plain and simple. Netflix didn’t get what they wanted, Freeform couldn’t see a good deal staring them right in the frikkin face, so the whole thing blew up with the show being cancelled over sheer pettiness and greed.

We had SO MUCH MORE to look forward to! And now they’re gonna squeeze everything into 3B and call it done!? Cassandra Clare is still writing! We got 2 new big bads in the Shadow World to look forward to, with Malcolm Fade and the Unseelie King! That was gonna be AWESOME! And Cassie’s releasing an entire book about Malec!  THE MATERIAL~~~! U_U

Why can’t Freeform just fork over the licensing rights and give the show over to a company that actually wants to work with it?!

Freeform didn’t promote Shadowhunters at all. I can't tell y'all how many ads I’ve passed by every day while riding the train to for their new show Cloak & Dagger -- I kept mistaking the white-haired girl in the photos for Danaerys Targaryen (which I know they’re doing on purpose, effing click bait). I saw a few for Siren, too. But in all these years though I have NOT ONCE seen a single ad for Shadowhunters while walking around in NYC. NOT ONE.

Apparently Netflix & some other networks I think were advertising the show internationally (where the bulk of the fanbase is located), and kudos to them or whatever, but at this point, I don’t even want Netflix to pick up Shadowhunters; they’re the petty arsewipes who pulled the funding in the first place! I’d prefer some other network like Hulu, The CW, or MTV get it, tbh.

People were speculating that maybe HBO or SyFy could take it, but I don’t really think either of those are viable options. I mean...lbr SyFy’s not exactly known for making that many very good original shows.... >_>

Shadowhunters started off real crunchy in Season 1 (everything from the CG to the directing/writing to the acting was very amateur), and idek if SyFy could keep up the upward momentum and higher quality that Season 2 and especially S03A delivered. And on that same note, I doubt HBO would want it, not when they’ve got powerhouses like Game of Thrones over there doing The Most and making that bookoo money.

But at this point, I don’t even care. Networks save the shows they want to save. Even if a zillion fans scream and shout bloody murder, if the showrunners & co don’t get those coins rolling in, the show will be dropped like a hot potato. Gold. Just thrown down the drain. They don’t care about anyone but themselves.

Burke said the network is at peace with the decision ... “They delivered what the fans wanted...I remember being at Comic-Con and seeing the excitement for the show and thinking, ‘This could be our Supernatural,'” referring to the genre staple that the CW just renewed for its 14th season.

Yeah, YOU THOUGHT. Supernatural’s on it’s 666th frikkin season, meanwhile Freeform couldn't find its own arse with both hands in broad daylight to do anything to keep promoting the show and get the funds and support to renew it for Season 4!

This all just blows my mind though. Shadowhunters is THE most popular (and frankly, only RELEVANT) show on Freeform. It’s been carrying the network this whole time! How do they not have the money!? Malec literally singlehandedly won them a dang GLAAD award!

And you know what KILLS ME is that not only are they taking away the show, but they’re depriving me of one of my all-time favorite fictional characters EVER.

My beautiful, freewheeling bisexual Asian High Warlock of Brooklyn. That flawless bish, that sexy beast, that campy queen, that quite magical wonderful beautiful waking dream of a man.

Harry’s portrayal of Magnus is  just dripping in charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent; I can’t. And to be BRUTALLY honest, Magnus is the only reason I kept watching the show. Harry Shum Jr was holding it down in Season 1 -- if it wasn't for him acting the roof off in every single scene, I wouldn’t have kept watching at all. Season 1 wasn’t that good, and that’s the T.

I didn’t like most of the other characters. I hated every single Shadowhunter -- including Alec (Izzy was hot though), and if Valentine wasn’t a racist bigot I’d be on his side and be like: just kill all these Shadowhunters, girl, bye~~!

So it just shocks me to my core that Freeform would make a move like this. Malec carried that whole show. No one cares about Clace. Climon was anathema. Sia’s cute and all, but lbr everyone’s sitting on pins & needles just waiting for Sizzy to rise. Only reason I even heard of this show was because a bunch of the fanfic authors & fan-artists I’m subscribed to at AO3 started writing Malec fics, which I was skipping over at first, but then the fandom blogs I follow here on Tumblr kept reblogging The Wedding scene, and I was like WTF IS THIS.

The most iconic episode of Shadowhunters was literally titled MALEC! XD Freeform, you had GOLD! DIAMONDS. Recognition. Representation. Stupid.

This whole cancellation controversy smells like network stunts and shows. They’re doing this on purpose. And during PRIDE MONTH, no less. WOW. How skeevy can y'all get?

I’m thoroughly disgusted.

So, yeah. That’s the state of things right now. I'M VENTING.

I’m just very upset, because Malec is one of my top favorite ships. But regardless of whether the show is killed off for good or not, I’m gonna keep posting my TS3 Malec Gameplays, the same way I do for my Nagron Gameplays (Spartacus ended in like 2013, and I’m still here, so.... :P ).

I’m just apologizing in advance to all my followers both here and at my Personal blog and Wishes blog -- I’m gonna be reblogging a lot of posts, to do my part in keeping #SaveShadowhunters trending as much as I can during this year effing long hiatus. So if those who follow me don’t care about all this...oh well.

#saveshadowhunters #pickupshadowhunters #shadowhunters #malec #LGBTQIA #replies #RANT ALERT #saltier than a cup of cup noodles