Today i'm scared.
Of problems I once had in the past coming back. They seep into my head and tamper with my insecurities.
I don't want them to come back. I know they are there trying to make their way into my system, and i'm letting it affect me.
That's because it's something I really would love to change about me. It's always in the back of my mind, even if it's a dorment thought.
Today I was waiting for somenone by myself. An hour later that person came by. But I already had had that unsettling of hatred towards me. That feeling of wanting to be whoever except me.
The day went by and my thought had gone from my mind. However at noon it came back. That person made a comment, stupid maybe for the mayority. But so... hurtful for me. Not because it was even supposed to make me feel bad about myself but because it had somehow validated a part of what I rejected about me.
I know too that people will tell me to talk about it with that person so as to avoid them 'triggering' me.
But I can't. I'm not prepared as of now. Knowing it's wrong to think what I do is sufficient to stop myself from talking about it.
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DISCLAIMER:
Not many will read this text. However, I think it's still a good idea to raise mental health awareness people in case the content is sensitive to some.
Writing my feelings down is my way to let go of my negative emotions. By no means do I want this to affect others; they are temporary and I know I have someone to talk about it if I ever want to ir need it. I'm just trying to express and transform all that i'm feeling into words to make sense and for people to feel less alone if they ever feel bad about something.
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We get closer and closer again
But we're falling apart
I'm losing, you're losing a friend
It's always over before we start
You're asking for love and I wish
That it could be the way that it was
But it's over, there's no one to blame
It'll never be the same
Jonas L.A, Things will never be the same
If you’re living a breakup and feel “forced” to stay friends with your ex and it hurts.
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How many nights does it take to count the stars?
That's the time it would take to fix my heart
- Infinity, One direction
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“The reason I love you is all that we've been through”
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Be forgiving. Be understanding. But don’t be a fool.
Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
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Let’s not waste our lips on words we think we’ve missed
Close your eyes with me, Chester See
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Um, this is Cathleen from a global online shop and show great interest in your blog. Now we are looking for talented bloggers to cooperate with our company. Are you interested? If yes, please let me know your email or other contact tools. You know word limits here. Thanks:D
Hi Cathleen, of course i'd be interested, however, i'd need to know what this contribution would involve. You may send me the details to:
[email protected] you!
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