#// also please i cannot stress enough you need to read all the warnings before you go any further

[caraphernellie]

thank you for the venom // e.w.

summary: suffocating in a small religious town, drowning in your own misery, your own thoughts in which you were led to believe are dirty, disgraceful, unholy - where else can you turn for support other than the church? where else would you want to turn to, when ellie williams, so knowledgeable of the beliefs and teachings of the church, is there to take care of you?

a/n: oh god please don’t hate on me for this 🙏 here’s preacher!ellie. don’t come at me i have religious trauma and am also a big mcr fan so obviously. i am so nervous to post this. i cannot stress enough if this is not ur thing do not read it lmfao. closing my eyes and posting this i wrote it ages ago i dont even remember what it goes like ive been too shy to post it. part 2 where they have rough sex in the church is coming eventually when i get over being shy about that one too. bye

word count: 3.7k (i know.)

warnings: preacher!ellie , fem!reader , religious imagery/references , internalised homophobia (both e and r) , christianity/catholicism , she is so blinded by internalised homophobia , dom!ellie , oral(r!receiving) , fingering(r!receiving) , tribbing , virgin!reader but not innocent , ellie’s actually nice and has good intentions she’s just clouded by religious trauma , sinning , definitely ooc but i tried to make it as 'ellie' as possible , use of pet names : sweet girl , sweetheart , angel , good girl , cutie

“you are aware of the three hail mary devotion?”

ellie looks down at you, kneeling before her by the altar. there’s something unreadable in her gaze. though she looks utterly sympathetic.

“each day, you can seek guidance from the lord by honouring the blessed virgin mary, and you will say three hail marys. you’ll begin each day with a saying.” ellie clears her throat, her gaze unwavering. not even a blink, eyes green as ivy almost sickening you. “i do this everyday myself. ‘o my mother, preserve me this day from mortal sin.’”

“thank you, ellie.”

“you understand that i can’t speak to the lord on your behalf. i am simply the preacher, i am here to provide you comfort and guidance. and i do promise you, if you continue to repent for your sins, god will always forgive. there will always be a spot for you in heaven should you continue to do the right thing. you can acknowledge that these… thoughts… are unholy.”

perhaps there was a reason, that instead of taking yourself to confession, you sought ellie out to ask for guidance, though leaving out a crucial detail. she is the object of your thoughts.

“if it consoles you,” ellie starts, “i have struggled with thoughts of this nature too.”

and like a record screeching, you pause, looking up at the woman. and what a woman she is – black turtleneck, which doesn’t at all hide toned muscles you wish you could see. black slacks, brown boots. shoulder length, auburn hair, and a freckled complexion. she is so respected amongst the members of the parish, always living her life in the holiest of ways, and never would you have thought someone as perfect as ellie williams could have thoughts of sin.

“what?” your voice shakes, and ellie tenses for a moment. 

perhaps you could have seen this coming, how there’s often tension thick as a brick wall between the two of you. ellie’s mixed signals ever so confusing.

“sometimes these thoughts get the best of us,” ellie murmurs. she approaches you, and as you look up at her through your eyelashes, she furrows her brows, hardens her gaze. “i have asked god to help me overcome these thoughts. i have had these thoughts and feelings for a long time. yet i repent. you may never get to stop repenting for this. but showing remorse and asking the lord to forgive you is all you need to protect yourself from the devil.”

ellie williams, respected preacher. she devoted her life to the church, wanting to live a life of holiness to make up for those thoughts she couldn’t ignore.

your hands clasped together like a silent, continuous prayer to preserve your own self-control, you open your mouth to speak, when ellie cuts you off.

“i’m glad god brought us together, and caused us to cross paths. you’re a special girl.”

there’s a warm rush of blood going straight to your cheeks, a waver in your voice, and a feeling of deep appreciation pooling between your thighs. “i’m glad too. it’s very comforting… to know that i’m not the only one dealing with these kinds of thoughts. thank you for helping me, and for teaching me that i am not damned. i hope we can both find peace.”

ellie nods slowly, her gaze unfaltering as you rise to your feet. for a moment, you feel that you catch a hint of a different expression – a smirk, one that disappears within seconds. as though she puts on a facade. “we are all born into sin. what matters is that we believe, and we follow the word of god. he knows what’s best for us.”

“and he can lead us back on the right path,” you say, smoothing down your dress, a modest piece, knee length and long sleeved.

ellie is deep in thought when she mumbles her next few words. “in the meantime, i can help you with your sexuality.”

once again, a heavy silence falls over you both as the words hang in the air. ellie’s about to backtrack, when you tilt your head, and her cheeks flush red as wine.

“h– how so..?” you ask, eyeing ellie as she rubs the back of her neck. her signals constantly so mixed, you wonder how you’ve gotten this far. too far to turn back now. her sudden nervous demeanour tells you everything. ellie has her issues, and she is nothing like the perfect preacher everyone respects.

“as a preacher,” ellie says, chuckling in an awkward way, “i should be taking care of people in our town, helping them to overcome their struggles and grow their relationship with god stronger. you are part of that as well.”

and so there it is, the strict and god-fearing ellie back again.

“i’d like to invite you over to my home. to pray, and we can study scripture. i can teach you how to overcome this.” her bottom lip drawn between her teeth, there’s that nervousness again. something impure is implied, her eyes burning into your face for any trace of uncertainty, and in the case that she finds it, she’ll backtrack. “if you’re not interested, just say so.”

and at the thought of what the implications are, you find yourself nodding distractedly, gaze falling towards the crucifix hanging on the wall of the church, and you grow warm with shameful excitement. “yes, i- i can do that. is there a time that suits you, ellie?”

ellie smiles firmly, yet it doesn’t meet her eyes. as if she is having the same mental dilemma as you. “i’m glad. how about tomorrow, 7?”

“of course, i,- yes. i’ll be there. you’re just a walk down the street.”

“perfect,” ellie says, and finally that smile reaches her eyes, an almost teasing twinkle in them, a loving look that doesn’t feel the same as the love she shares with others. “wear something appropriate, alright?”

“uh-huh,” you hum, shrinking under ellie’s gaze, knees buckling.

“i’ll see you soon,” ellie murmurs, voice low. and before you turn to leave, her eyes glance over your body once more. and she doesn’t hide her expression this time. she likes what she sees.

you simply nod your goodbye. as you step down from the altar and bow to the tabernacle, you can feel her stare. you feel it as you walk all the way down the aisle of the church, late afternoon sunlight hitting the stained glass windows just right and casting red shadows over you.

✧✧✧

it’s impossible to make it through the next day. that night when you had left the church, you tried taking ellie’s advice. the hail marys, the devotion. but thoughts crept in, ellie consuming your mind in the most beautiful bittersweet memory. you couldn’t help but to picture what she could do to you, how she could worship you. and the guilt of it had you in tears only after you had came.

at 7pm, you walk down the street to ellie’s house. 

and ellie opens the door, not even a greeting slipping past her lips before she speaks. “i like that dress on you.”

and she doesn’t know it, but it eased so much of your nervousness. that you did read the situation correctly. because if you had misread the entire thing, and showed up to ellie’s home in a dress you’ve grown out of, it would have been a certainly difficult situation to navigate. ellie said to dress appropriately. and to you, that meant an older dress that hugs you tightly in the right places, leaving your body looking supple and sweet for her taking.

and should ellie discover what’s underneath the dress, she’ll see just how appropriate you decided to dress for her.

“you look beautiful,” ellie murmurs quieter this time, stepping aside to let you into her home, the brown brick house seeming so inviting at this time of night, warm candlelight lit inside. as you walk in, ellie’s eyes dip down to your exposed thighs, the dress being that short. 

“thank you,” you reply, taking a look around the house. dark wood, vintage furniture, candles, crosses everywhere. as ellie leads you to her living room, there are things you take note of that you hadn’t expected. gaming consoles, a dvd stand full of horror films. she doesn’t comment even when she sees your stare, and instead she sets you down on her couch.

“should we start?” ellie asks, a hint of a smile on her lips. “how about we start with a prayer?”

“alright,” you say with a nod, clasping your clammy hands together. ellie grins a little, and does the same, then begins to lead you both in prayer.

“lord, we know that we are sinners. please forgive us for experiencing unholy thoughts about other women, and please guide us to become more like you. please help us to watch our words and actions, and guard us against future mistakes and errors. thank you for sending your son, jesus, to die for our sins — and thank you for your forgiveness. In the name of your son jesus, we pray, amen.”

it’s like with every reminder of your faith, glancing around the room, looking at the red rosary hanging around ellie’s neck, or the bible laying on the coffee table, an insurmountable guilt builds inside you.

ellie eyes a crucifix hanging on the wall, then averts her gaze from it – she simply can’t keep her eyes from wandering to you.

“shall we study now?” ellie asks, voice husky as she reaches for the bible. “i can t–”

“ellie,” you say, eyes pleading with her. your hand meets hers, and you stop her from picking up her bible. “we both know you didn’t invite me here to study scripture.”

ellie freezes, flitting her gaze between your hands, the bible, and your eyes. she’s been caught out. perhaps nervous to make the first move, ellie had switched up again, afraid to do anything that wasn’t innocent, afraid to corrupt you. but the confirmation that you want what she wants is enough.

“no… no, you’re right. you’re not here to talk about scripture with me,” ellie mumbles, a nod accompanying it. 

“then…” you begin, fidgeting with the hem of your little dress, tilting your head at ellie with a warm face and trembling legs, white knee high stockings clinging to your calves. “we should… then we should do what you invited me here for.”

a beat.

“are you sure?” ellie asks.

“ellie, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about this,” you say, “haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. so please.”

ellie takes one look at your pleading eyes and your bottom lip between your teeth, and she knows that she’s done for.

“come,” ellie whispers, standing and taking your hand. there’s a faint look in her eyes, and everything feels light and slow as she walks you upstairs, into the bedroom.

ellie’s bedroom is similar to the rest of her house, vintage furniture and low lighting. her queen sized bed is pushed into the corner of the wall. on the nightstand lays another bible, on the wall a cross and portraits she’s drawn or painted herself. there’s a bookshelf filled with mostly religious literature and scientific books about things like astronomy and space. an acoustic guitar sits by the nightstand.

“well,” ellie murmurs, lighting a candle or two on the nightstand, flicking off the main light in the room. she stands across from you, illuminated in a warm candlelit glow. “let’s not waste any more time.”

before ellie does anything else, her hand finds the rosary around her neck. her fingers find the crucifix and she lifts it to her lips, pressing a kiss against it like a silent prayer, one last apology to the god she’s betraying. your heart skips a beat, and within no time ellie’s got a hand on the back of your head, pulling you in.

teeth clashing, hands roaming your body, ellie kisses you like it was the only thing she was made to do in life. she presses her body close to you as her tongue pushes past your soft lips. you’re not quite sure where to put your hands at first, but they settle, cupping ellie’s cheeks to bring her closer. your soft moan is muffled by ellie’s lips, her tongue invading every corner of your mouth, nothing unexplored.

ellie’s hands slide down your body, one gripping your ass over the dress and the other cupping your boob.

pulling away only to catch her breath, ellie pushes you towards the bed, laying you down on your back and climbing on top to continue kissing. she nips your bottom lip with her teeth, every act so desperate, so full of a yearning finally being fulfilled.

she stops kissing you again, this time with her hands reaching for the zipper at the back of your dress. “let’s take this off, sweet girl.”

ellie’s voice is breathless already, and she pants softly as she struggles with the zipper for a moment, her brain moving faster than her hands. she finally manages it, and lifts the dress off you.

you’re quiet, as is ellie. you had anticipated there’d be a reaction to this, the matching set you chose. white and lacy, a bra and panties that match the stockings ellie admired earlier. but nothing could have truly prepared you for ellie’s reaction.

“you are divine,” ellie murmurs, her hand roaming down to your hips. she licks her lips, unable to keep her eyes off of how the bra accentuates your breasts, or how the panties hug your waist. her body language, all too clear of how she truly feels about you, does nothing but cause you to throb inside your panties. “do you trust me?”

the question throws you off. furrowing your brows, but offering a small smile, you reply. “of course i trust you, ellie.”

the soft tone of your voice entices ellie, especially as you take her hand and guide it to your chest, letting her squeeze you through the cup of your bra.

“what a beautiful sin,” ellie whispers, leaning down and attaching her lips to your neck. she’s careful not to leave marks that would be visible, but she squeezes your breast as she kisses and licks a trail down your neck, all the way to your chest.

ellie revels in your soft mewls, the way your thread your fingers into the hair at the back of her head, and hold her against you. her hand reaches behind you, grabbing at the clasp of your bra. and ellie bites down, sucking a bruise into the soft flesh of your breast, where she knows nobody could see it. you arch your back partly in pleasure, but mostly to provide her access to the back of your bra, and ellie pulls it off in no time. her eyes widen as your tits spill out, and she swallows thickly as she watches your nipples grow firm with arousal and the exposure to the air.

ellie’s hand cups your bare tit and squeezes as she brings her face up towards you once more, needing that touch of her lips on yours. her long fingers tweak your nipple, rolling the bud around as she kisses you with a growing passion, groaning into the kiss just as you whine quietly.

ellie chuckles as your hands press into her back, pulling her closer, hugging her and hiding your face away in shame. she kisses the corner of your lips, pausing to soothe you. “shh, let me take care of you. let me worship you, sweet girl.”

you ease your grip on ellie when she says that, and she smiles at you before leaning down. you shiver, feeling the cold metal crucifix of her rosary resting down against your stomach, earning a chuckle from ellie as she wraps her lips around your nipple. she sucks for a moment, then rolls her tongue over it.

ellie’s hand lays flat over your stomach, pinning you down to stop your restless squirming. she moves her leg between yours, her knee pressing a generous amount of friction against your panties.

“h… ellie,” you whisper, “have you done this before?”

ellie looks up at you, and with a grin, she nods. “i have. a long time ago.”

“oh my goodn–” you cut yourself off with a lengthy whine, ellie beginning to suck hickeys all over your chest, from one breast to the other. she gives your other nipple the same treatment, only this time her teeth graze it lightly, and your hand on the back of her head tightens the grip on her hair. “ellie…”

“shh,” ellie hushes you, beginning to kiss down your stomach. “you’re okay.”

your incessant squirming and writhing turns ellie’s grin wider, when she cups her hand over your panties and feels the soaking mess.

“that’s beautiful,” she whispers, her fingers tugging at the waistband now, “this all f’me?”

you nod eagerly, looking down at ellie from where you lay propped up against the plush pillows. any holy thought has left your mind, and it appears to be the same for ellie, who lays between your legs with a cheshire cat smile, stripping the panties down your legs.

“so pretty,” ellie hums, grasping at your thighs and pulling them apart. “tell me, you want me to touch you here?”

a nod simply won’t be good enough this time, and you know that, clearing your throat to speak up hoarsely. “yes, yes please, el… can y– mmff-”

ellie’s fingers rub over your cunt, two fingers spreading the folds, the touch burning hot and electrifying. ellie laughs, not meanly, but sympathetically. “barely touched you yet, cutie. so wet…”

your lips turn down into a pout that makes ellie smirk, and she leans close, leaving a kiss on your throbbing clit.

“c’mon, don’t pout at me,” she whispers, another kiss following the words. “angel…”

you shudder, and then a loud moan escapes your throat as ellie’s tongue flicks out, beginning to lap at you. your body’s responsiveness leaves ellie with so much confidence. 

“ellie, ellie,” you mewl, reaching a hand towards her. “ellie, it’s so– mmm…”

ellie reaches her free hand towards you, letting you grab it and intertwine your fingers. she gives a gentle squeeze as she licks a stripe down from your clit to your entrance, then back up again.

ellie can’t get enough of you, of your saccharine taste, staring up at you with blown out pupils as she sucks and laps at you. one of her bony fingers dips into your entrance, and ellie herself groans at the feeling of you clenching around it, but the sound you make is so rewarding that she pushes her ring finger in as soon as she knows you can take another finger. her digits stroke in and out of your sopping cunt, leaving you a whimpering and whining mess.

“c’mon angel,” ellie murmurs against your pussy, “i got you, i got you. ‘s this good?”

you nod, squeezing ellie’s hand in a vice grip, hips bucking against her face eagerly. “ellieeeeuuhh, oh, oh my g–”

“don’t,” ellie warns, “don’t take the lord’s name in vain, and don’t bring him into this.”

“i– s-sorry,” you gasp out, tipping your head back, “oh, oh, ellie, i’m gettin’ close.”

“good girl,” ellie murmurs, keeping the fast rhythm of both her fingers and tongue. “gonna be good and cum f’me?”

“yea, yea,” you say in a breathy voice, more moans leaving your lips, “ohhh, mmfuck, f-fuck, ellie.”

ellie’s ruining you, reduced you to nothing but babbles and moans. you buck your hips up more, rutting fast against her face, and that’s when you hit your peak. with a shriek of ellie’s name, you cream on her fingers, covering them with your slick, allowing them to stroke in and out even quicker.

ellie rides out your orgasm, slowly pulling away when you’re finished. she peppers kisses along your shaking thighs, leaning up to catch your lips in a kiss.

“good, sweet girl?” ellie asks, kissing the top of your head. you nod – but ellie isn’t finished with you, apparent as she begins unbuckling her belt.

“mmm,” you hum, “‘s perfect.”

“alright, angel, c’mere,” ellie says, stripping down to nothing. she sits by the headboard, pulling you onto her lap, hooking a leg over you. “you’re doin’ so good, you know? think you were made to please. good at taking what you’re given.”

“only because i want it,” you say in response, which has ellie chuckling. she grips your waist, grunting when her cunt makes contact with yours. 

“good,” ellie says sternly, “because– shit.”

ellie loves how you keel over and press your nose against her neck because of the way your sensitive pussy rubs against her own. she tightens her grip on your waist, fingernails leaving little crescent moon marks in the plush skin as she begins moving you, groaning and moaning at the way your clit bumps against hers. she moves her own hips too, gasping your name.

you breathe soft whines into ellie’s neck, arms wrapped around her, hugging tight. it’s nothing but desperate now, your second orgasm approaching right in time with ellie’s.

“hnng, f-fuck, yeah, you gonna cum again?” ellie asks, squeezing your ass as you move against her. “good girl, cum, c– cum with me, cum with me s– fuck.”

ellie tenses up, hips moving fast to rub your soaking cunts together as you both cum. kissing your temple, ellie gently moves you off of her, running a hand through her damp and sweaty hair. “stay here angel, ‘m gonna clean you up, and we’ll cuddle then, okay?”

you don’t have much of a say in the matter regardless, shaking in the afterglow of ellie’s touch. she comes back moments later, looking a bit cleaner herself, carrying a wet washcloth. she begins to wipe you down, being extra careful around all of your more sensitive areas. she leaves kisses in the wake of her touch.

“you are beautiful,” ellie says in a firm tone. “the most perfect angel i’ve ever seen.”

you can only give ellie a half smile in response, and she drops the washcloth, leaning in and kissing you sweetly. 

“don’t stress, you know why? because god always forgives as long as you’re willing to repent.”

ellie climbs into bed, pulling you close with an arm around your waist. she rests her chin on top of your head, a protective hold on you.

“why don’t we say another prayer before we go to sleep?” the preacher asks, tone almost uncertain. is she convincing you, or herself? “he’ll forgive us.”

tags: @dinasvampgf @fadedin2u @machetegirl109 @eurewili @craz1er4you @divinediors @onlinelesbo @thecowardwrites

i'm still trying to sort out my tag list!! it wouldn't let me tag some people. if you wanted to be tagged but weren't pls let me know so i can fix that <3

credits: middle pic in the banner is @switchbladekillerqueen <33 this pic inspired me to write this fic!!

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader smut #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie williams x you #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fanfic #tlou x reader #tlou2 x reader #preacher!ellie

[hellfire--cult]

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

wc: 10.1k

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: +18, suicide attempt, reader is suicidal, PAS (Physician Assisted Suicide), neglectful parents, weed and alcohol, feelings of loneliness, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, kissing, some mentions of nausea, smut implication, angst. So much angst.

Plot: Eddie was new to the group, and he connected with you after an unfortunate event. You were excited to finally put an end to your suffering, of all those years of feeling nothing, and you had made a list of things to do before going.

a/n: I cannot stress this enough, please, do not read if this will be triggering for you. If you read PAST the warnings, it is your own responsibility, and I will not hold myself accountable for it.

This is somewhat inspired by the movie and book Me Before You. So yeah, have fun.

Always reblog your artists, likes don't do much.

Please, Trust Me

Eddie came into the group a little bit late, so to speak.

He was assigned to do a project alongside Steve Harrington in Psychology class. College was just something Eddie wanted to focus on studying since he had a reputation of repeating his senior year two times in a row, but Steve was friendly. Eddie, well, he didn’t realize how badly he needed social interaction until then.

So Steve introduced him to his group. Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and you. Now, Eddie got to know everyone, except yourself. As Nancy put it, you were in many extracurricular classes, so your time was limited. Eddie, of course, understood, but he also felt you were scared of him somehow. You always averted your gaze from him in the little moments you spent together, so he gave up on trying to talk further with you.

Holidays were approaching, and Eddie had the opportunity that his uncle was leaving the nice house he finally got to purchase near lover’s lake in Hawkins, his hometown, so he thought it would be a great idea to invite everyone over… Well, not everyone.

Since he thought you were scared of him, he believed the invitation would be rejected, but everyone else agreed to come over to his place. It was just a two-hour drive, and he couldn’t wait to get drunk and high with everyone else.

Robin told him that you didn’t have time anyway to assist, seeing that you were going to visit your mother for Christmas, so Eddie’s guilt vanished completely. He felt horrible for not inviting you, that’s why he asked Robin to ask you about your plans for Christmas.

So off they went, having a great time by the lake, drinking beer, eating grilled burgers and sausages, and then on Christmas night, the fireworks went off, and everyone was already drunk by that time, messaging loved ones and wishing them great holidays.

The next day, you called Robin, wishing her a happy Christmas. Eddie was packing the suitcase to go back to Indianapolis, when he overheard Robin tell you that they were spending New years there too, completely surprising him. He expected to return on the 26th, but he was excited to spend more time with his friends. Once again, you told Robin that it was fine since you were still at your mom’s.

And so, new years went by. Now on the 2nd of January, they all finally returned completely drained from all the alcohol and food, but still with smiles on their faces. Robin then turned to Eddie with an innocent smile on her face as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

“Eds, can you drive me to Y/N’s place? I want to show her the rocks we picked up at the lake, and I will likely stay the night at her apartment.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he rolled his own eyes.

“Okay, let’s take you to the rich girl’s place.” You explained to the group that you weren’t good with a roommate, so you rented a place near the campus to live in until your studies finished. Eddie realized you weren’t a middle-class person just by knowing that, and he doesn’t know why you would choose a college like this one instead of Harvard or something like that, as rich people do in movies.

Robin met you thanks to you being signed up to tutor her in a particular class she was struggling with. She and you immediately clicked, despite you acting a bit shy and reserved at first, as if not trusting Robin at all, like a scared animal in the wild meeting another species.

Once they arrived at your apartment complex, Robin once more looked at Eddie with a pouty lip.

“And help me with my bag? My shoulders hurt from swimming all week…” And once more, Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing as the two of them got out of his van and he went to the back to get hold of her bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

“You can just say you are lazy as fuck Buckley.” She giggled at his response and they both walked into the reception, calling the elevator to go up to your floor. Once they were at your door, Robin knocked a few times, only to be met with no response. Her smile faded slightly and she tried again, and once more, met with silence.

“Maybe she didn’t return from her mom’s.” And she bent down to look under your mat, finding the spare key. You told her she was welcome at any time, to simply look under the mat for the key and make herself comfortable, knowing Robin likes some quiet away from the dorms now and then. 

She opened the door–

“Hey, you–”

And she and Eddie immediately winced at the strong smell of unwashed dishes or something of the sort. 

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell? Did she forget to wash the dishes before leaving?” Eddie replied, looking over at the kitchen counter, his eyes furrowing together as he looked at a particular tray that was filled with gingerbread men cookies. They were all with a bit of fungus, and one had been bitten, one of its arms missing.

Robin closed the door behind her as she looked around, finding that there were bottles of different alcoholic beverages on the sink, a cup of ramen noodles on the coffee table in front of the TV, half-eaten, and then she spotted the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

She remembers how excited you were, buying your tree, telling her that you never had the chance of decorating one before because it wasn’t truly celebrated in your household. Dread immediately invaded her as she remembered that, slowly walking towards it and Eddie following behind, dropping Robin’s bag to the floor.

Robin gasped as she kneeled to the floor, finding different presents under the tree, one for each person in the group, including Eddie. His heart plummeted to the floor as Robin showed him the small present, and you didn’t even know what he liked, yet you bought something for him. 

Robin then turned while getting up, looking towards the door of your bedroom that was shut. She rushed towards it and she felt her heart starting to want to come out of her mouth as she swung it open as quickly as she could.

And there you were, in your bed, resting, and Robin felt herself breathe in relief, but Eddie didn’t. Not when he noticed the bottle of wine next to you, on your nightstand. 

“Maybe she didn’t think she was gonna go to her mom’s and she forgot about the cookies.” Robin said as if almost trying to convince herself. Trying to make a reasonable explanation other than the most horrible one that she could think of because of course, she doubted it when you said you were visiting your mom.

Because you mentioned to her that you two weren’t close.

Eddie slowly walked towards you, not caring about the smell that lingered in your room, knowing that you probably hadn’t showered or cleaned the place in a while. He looked down on you, tilting his head. You had the blankets all over you while you rested on your belly, eyes completely closed. 

He raised a hand towards your face, under your nose, and his breathing stopped. Your breaths were slow, not even deep, and you were drooling, all over your pillow. He grabbed onto the edge of the blanket and Robin moved to stop him, yet he yanked it off. 

“Robin… call 911.”

But Robin was frozen as she looked at your frame, her lip starting to shake as she inspected your right hand. A hand that was holding something that looked empty. Something that she saw was half full the last time she came over.

That orange flask that contained your sedatives.

And you chugged them down with alcohol.

Steve was rubbing Robin’s back as she sobbed into her hands, hunched over the chair of the waiting room. Eddie was on her other side, his leg bouncing up and down as he bit his nails. One day he was laughing with everyone and now he is waiting for some good news regarding your health, someone he barely knows, yet he is worried shitless for.

Loud heels were heard across the hallway, a woman in her late 40’s, wearing designer clothes, looking rather stern as she got closer to the door of the room you are in. Her arms are crossed as she stands next to it, tapping her heel on the floor, catching the attention of the three people sitting on the chairs.

“Excuse me?” Robin’s weak voice called out and the lady snapped her head towards her with an eyebrow raised up.

“Yes?”

“Who are you?” 

“I am this girl’s mother. Who are you?”

And the three friends froze in their seats. It was your mother. The person you supposedly spent the holidays with, yet, she didn’t look concerned for you, but rather she looked angry, or disappointed.

“We– We’re her friends.” Robin replied with a small voice, because could she even say that? Do you deserve someone like her as a friend? Even as a partner? Someone who forgets what you told them almost a year ago? The woman scoffed, shaking her head.

“Friends? That is surprising. Were you there when she did this?” Her voice was cold, and anger started filling inside of Eddie’s chest. Why is she acting this way when her child is inside that room, fighting for her life? A life she almost took herself?

“N-No, we found her like that…” Robin looked back down again and Eddie could only look at her wrecked face with pity, yet, he could not comfort her. 

“I see. Did the doctor come out or something yet? I have somewhere to be, and I cannot waste my time on this. Not again.”

And the three sitting people shot up from their seats, all with alarmed looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry… again?” Robin asked, the answer scaring her yet she needed to know what it meant. She needed to know if she was an even more horrible person than she was ten seconds ago. Your mother scoffed, shaking her head again and Eddie’s hands turned into fists.

“It’s the third time. I already sent her to a psychiatrist, a mental hospital, and therapists, and yet she still tries. That girl has everything, and yet she always craves attention this way. I’m sick of it.”

And Robin wanted to puke, right then and there, while Steve looked at Eddie with tear-filled eyes and the metalhead could see how bad his friend felt. How evil he must feel. Steve gulped and looked back at your mother, clearing his throat to be able to talk.

“W-Why would she do this?” And your mother scoffed, looking for her phone in her purse as she talked.

“Just because I forgot about the holidays and her birthday. I already sent her a message apologizing and telling her she could ask for anything she wanted, but she went and did this.”

And Robin froze. 

Birthday. 

December 28th.

Your birthday. 

And she couldn’t handle it anymore, yanking herself away from Steve to rush towards the toilet. Steve called out to her, rushing to her aid as tears rolled down his cheeks and Eddie was frozen in place.

Not only did you spend the holidays alone, but you also spent your birthday by yourself, while they were all having fun in Hawkins, shooting fireworks and drinking alcohol to their heart's content. And you were alone, with a bottle of wine and instant noodles.

He was about to talk to your mother, about to insult her, to drag her on the floor, but the opening of the door in front of him made him stop in his tracks as the doctor walked out with a board in his hand.

“Okay, so, we got her blood cleaned up. It’s good that you caught her at such an early stage. Her vital signs look stable now, but she will have to stay here for a few days, two tops, so we can monitor her a bit more.” Your mother cleared her throat and the doctor looked up at her with a tilt of his head.

“So, she’s okay.” And there was such coldness in your mother’s voice that Eddie felt his vile rising in his throat. The doctor only sighed, taking his glasses off.

“She is, but we cannot overlook a suicide attempt. Does she have anyone to talk to? Maybe I can give you brochures for–”

“I already sent her to an institution once, but it didn't work. That child is an attention seeker, pay it no mind.” 

Eddie’s eyes were burning in anger at her words and the doctor looked as surprised and hurt as he did. He cannot bear to hear your mother’s words any longer, so little care, with lack of empathy and lack of love. He wondered how many things you endured with a woman like this in your life, and honestly, he was afraid of finding out.

“W-Well, since you’re the mother, maybe you should–”

“She is a grown woman now. She can make her own decisions as you can see. I shall not worry about her anymore.” And just like that, the heels echoed in the hallway once more and Eddie’s eyes were wide as he looked at her retreating figure. A mother leaving her child after they tried to end their life, like no care in the world, as if she hadn’t given them their life to begin with.

Three times? Three times she did this? Walking away from you? How could she call you an attention seeker? How could she even acknowledge something like that when you were screaming for help?

“Ahem.”

Eddie blinked as he looked towards the doctor who had a confused yet pained look on his face.

“She is awake if you want to see her. I assume you are a friend of hers?” 

Is he? He is not a friend, but you cannot be alone, not here, not right now. Robin is probably trying to breathe while Steve is comforting her, but maybe… Eddie knows you probably don’t want to see them either. None of that group. So he gave the doctor a nod, and he slowly opened the door of the white room.

His eyes scanned it, and finally, they landed on you. Your arms were connected to an IV and a blood transfusion bag, the heart rate monitor beeping right next to you as your back rested against the pillows, letting you sit on the bed. You looked emotionless. Eyes empty. Hand on each side of your body and Eddie knew your mind, your feelings, were completely shut off. 

He gulped with nerves and the door closed behind him, making him wince, but it alarmed you that someone came into the room, making you look up. Your eyes twitched in surprise, yet if you were, you didn’t express it, nor show it. 

“I guess you’re the one that found me?” Your voice was empty, with no tone, as if it were a recording or an AI robot. Eddie slowly nodded as he took a few steps toward the chair that was on the other side of the bed. 

“Robin and I found you.” You gave a slow nod, looking back down to your lap. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know anything about you but he feels like he should have. He cleared his throat to continue talking. “I, uh, liked the necklace you got me. Pretty metal.” He winced at his words because it was something he shouldn’t have brought up at all.

Your eyes raised to meet his, another nod going towards his way, diverting your eyes back to your lap. He looked around for a second, the nerves all over his body. He was almost trembling with the need to talk to you, but what can he say? What could be something you want to hear right now? And coming from him?

“Ask away.” He startled at your voice, jumping on his seat as he looked at you once more.

“What?”

“I know you want to ask. And maybe you can also help me by telling the rest about it and how I am not going to talk to them again.” You were still not looking at him and he cleared his throat as he felt his mouth going dry, but now he knew you weren’t going to talk to the others about this. The relationship is already broken inside of you.

“I– Okay, um… I guess the first question is, why?” He slowly asked, afraid of even being able to talk to you about this, but sometimes they say that a stranger is the best listener, and maybe Eddie was just that.

“Why… Only child, homeschooled all my life so no interaction whatsoever with the world, absent mother, holidays and birthdays by myself, father was never found. Need to say more?”

And shit, Eddie was not expecting that at all. You had been miserable from the very beginning, unwanted by your own mother, and now he realized how horrible you must have felt with the whole group. Your first ever friends and they forgot every single detail of you. How you never spent a holiday with people, and was so excited you even baked cookies to share and bought presents for a gift exchange, your first ever most likely, only to never happen.

And now, he realized that… His other friends do not deserve any kind of pity, or forgiveness.

“Okay, then… Why were you scared of me?” At his question, your eyebrow raised up, and turned your head to look at him.

“Is that what you thought?” You asked with complete confusion in her tone. He looked at you with his own frown, tilting his head.

“Well yeah, you avoided me like the plague…” And you looked up at the ceiling, closing your eyes, and shaking your head with a sigh.

“No. I don’t trust people easily as you can see.” You looked down at your lap once again and he wanted to sigh a little bit in relief at that, knowing that his clothes or his whole demeanor didn’t actually scare her. She was just shy and probably nervous.

“Right… Um, Robin and Steve are here as well, do you want me to–”

“No. I don’t want to see them.” And your words spoke for your pain, and Eddie was not going to argue against it. They honestly didn’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, that much he knew, but he also felt guilty. Really guilty.

“I– I am sorry… I didn’t invite you because I really thought you hated me– and I took everyone away, I didn’t know any of this, I am so sorry if I knew–”

“You weren’t the one who forgot. You don’t know me, but they did.” He gave you a nod in understanding, yet the guilt is still lingering in his stomach. He cleared his throat and he wanted to ease the tension for you, to relieve the somber moment that filled the room.

“So uh, you knew I liked Metallica huh? Is it because of the hundreds of shirts that I own?” Your eyebrow raised at him and you turned to face him while he gave you a cheeky smile of his own. You squinted slightly at him, but a small tug on the corner of your lips gave you away.

“Well yeah, all the times I’ve seen you it was either Metallica or Black Sabbath. It had to be one of the two.”

“What if I only liked their logos, huh?” At that, you rolled your eyes at him, but he kept making jokes at you, and a giggle here and there could be heard in the room. 

Robin and Steve were hearing the both of you outside your room. They looked at each other for a minute before hesitantly walking away. Robin turned her head at almost every step, wanting to barge into the room to hug you, to say she was sorry. But she knew it meant nothing, not anymore, and not ever again.

What she did, what they did, cannot be fixed.

Eddie was lounging with his headphones on as he listened to music while resting against a tree trunk. He was bobbing his head as he wrote some lyrics on the notebook he had over his leg. For the past three days, he hasn’t heard of you. He tried visiting you yesterday only to find out you were discharged and he felt too embarrassed to just go to your apartment.

He had also distanced himself from the group. It didn’t sit right to be with people who could easily forget about something so important like a birthday. You didn’t have any social media, so the least they could do is put the birthday in their own cell phones, like Eddie did as soon as he left the hospital.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to them, he just made excuses when they asked to hang out with him. He just couldn’t shake off the bad vibes from it all. 

He looked up from his lap only for his eyes to bulge out of his skull as he saw you almost prancing in happiness while walking through campus. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? He immediately put his notebook into his backpack and pulled his headphones down, resting them around his neck. He got up, almost tripping as he did so, as he rushed towards you.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled at you to catch your attention as he got closer. You turned to face him, still with a wide smile on your face.

“Hi, Eddie.” You were smiling, that’s good, that’s really good. He was almost breathing heavily from the run he just did. He wasn’t athletic and the smoking surely doesn’t do him any good.

“Yeah– I just– give me a minute.” He huffed as he tried taking a deep breath in, and you giggled motioning to him to sit on a bench near the both of you. You sat down as soon as he plopped down, taking another huff of air as he turned his head to look at you. “So, what got you all smiley?”

“Well, I just dropped out of college!” You announced with a smile and jazz hands, startling Eddie completely. His face was contorted in confusion and wonder.

“What? Why? You didn’t like what you were studying?” You shook your head as you looked at the horizon, not anything in particular.

“It’s just pointless now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to California in three months.” Your head turned to look at him still with a smile on your face. “I’ve been offered P.A.S.” 

He frowned, not knowing what those syllables meant at all. He tried putting them together in his head but nothing was coming up.

“What’s that?”

And Eddie didn’t know why you opened up to him with that. He didn’t know why he didn’t care that you did. He didn’t know why this relationship between the two of you evolved in this manner, as quickly as it did… but he never expected to hear the response you gave him.

“Physician Assisted Suicide.”

And now, Eddie knew that term, and his eyes bulged out of his skull. You were… offered that? How can that happen? You had no health issues to go through something like that, so why would you consider that? Why would the doctors even consider that for you? His heart was just hammering in his chest as dread invaded his gut.

“W-What? Why– how?” He was speechless, not really knowing what he was asking or what he wanted to know at this point. He felt his gut turning at the information like he couldn’t believe someone as young as yourself could even consider that way out. 

“Well, it was due to all my medical records, be it psychological and physical. My mindset never changed.” Your gaze turned from him to nothingness once more. “I go, get help, only to get out and for everything to be the same. It never changes, because it was never me who had to change.”

Eddie slowly blinked at your wording and his eyes drifted to the sky as his thoughts raced through his mind. Can he even talk you out of this? How can he even do that? You seem happy, way too happy with this solution… You were excited.

“You’re not… scared?”

“No. Not at all. I am ready to go. My heart can barely handle it anymore.” And Eddie’s eyes turned towards the profile of your face. You had made your decision clear, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you now. No one can. The group was no longer part of your life, your mother didn’t care about your decision so it seems… and he is no one to stop you.

“Alright… You– um, what are you gonna do until… you know, then?” He asked and you smiled at him, grabbing your backpack to take out your notebook, and flipping a page to show him a list, which made him frown in confusion.

“These are things I never tried because the opportunity never presented itself. Before, I didn’t know–” You cut your voice short at what you were about to say, and then you continued. “Now that I know when it’s gonna happen, I don’t want to go with any regrets.” 

Eddie looked at the list, and he couldn’t believe… how trivial some of these things were. 

- Go to an amusement park

- Smoke a cigarette

- Buy a Barbie Dreamhouse

- Eat a cake for breakfast

- Get high

And then he saw more complicated ones.

- Go skydiving

- Learn to drive (or attempt)

- Try to skateboard

- Ride on a jet ski

- Attempt to make a rainbow cake

And so many more. You had filled an entire page with things you wanted to do and he looked up at you to see you looking up at the sky with a smile on your lips.

“I think I should get the Barbie Dreamhouse first. Oh, maybe get some alcohol, I never got fully drunk, but maybe tonight I can since I don’t have to wake up early anymore–” And you went on with your plans and Eddie was just staring at you as the thoughts ran through his brain.

Everyone else was walking all around the two of you, and nobody knew that you were going to die in three months. No one knew you had made an entire bucket list with things to do before going. No one knew about this decision of yours, and he wasn’t going to let you be alone in this. He doesn’t want you to live these last few weeks with no one at your side.

“You know, or I can make one of your wishes on the list come true.” Your head snapped towards him with a surprised look on your face.

“Oh, what?” And a smirk formed on Eddie’s lips.

“Getting high.”

“Did you prepare the pan?”

“Uh…” 

“Eddie!”

He immediately rushed to grab onto the pan as he burst into giggles thanks to the weed in his system. The munchies came to life with you two after smoking a whole joint from Eddie’s stash. You had the open bag of pizza rolls in your hands, the oven already turned on as you waited for Eddie to put some oil spray on the pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just– I was stuck looking at the wall.” He simply replied to you, making you burst into laughter, trying not to let the pizza rolls fall to the ground. He followed you with chuckles as he sprayed the pan and handed it to you so you could throw the pizza rolls on it and then begin cooking them in the oven.

You were relaxed, that much Eddie knew, and he was smiling as you tip-toed in a dance towards your couch, plopping down. He followed soon after, sitting next to you. You giggled as you stared at the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m on a cloud.” Eddie stared at your profile for a while before he began talking once more.

“I wanna help.”

“Hmm?” You turned to face him still with a dopey smile on your face.

“I want to help you complete some things on your list.” 

And your smile fell as if becoming sober out of nowhere. Eddie then gulped but his resolution was already said and you moved uncomfortably in your place.

“You don’t have to pity me. I can do these–”

“No, you can’t. Learning to drive a car? How do you plan to do that?” At that, you opened and closed your mouth many times and then cleared your throat.

“An instructor!” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, and put his hand up, his fingers up.

“Getting drunk, you need supervision.” He put a finger down. “Going to a concert, you’re gonna get squashed.” He put another one down. “Playing Mortal Kombat, you need an enemy.” He put another and then you stopped him completely, shoving his hand down.

“Okay, okay, okay! I see your stupid point.” You sighed as you threw your head back against the headrest of the couch, looking at your ceiling. He knew you were overthinking it, but he honestly wanted to help you in any way he could. 

“C’mon, there are a few things in your list I am dying to try too. Like– Eating Argentinian food. I never tried that shit, I bet it’s fucking delicious.” You giggled at his expression and then nodded at him.

“Okay, fine. You can help. You will also help me bake that stupid rainbow cake I always wanted to try.” He laughed at that with a shake of his head.

“Another thing I never did in my life was bake. It’s gonna be a journey. Do you have insurance here? We might burn it all down.” At that you punched his shoulder lightly, causing him to laugh it out followed by your giggle. 

And what a journey it was gonna be.

“Seriously, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET ME INTO THIS TOO!” Eddie almost screamed as he looked out the window of the helicopter with a frightened look on his face. Harnesses were all around his body, a man behind him strapping himself closer to Eddie’s back.

You were in front of him, holding your laughter as you held onto a handle on the side of the big machine that was now miles and miles above the ground. The helmets on both of your heads almost crushed your skulls but the protection was needed. Another man was strapping himself to you behind your back.

“Oh come on! You wanted to try new things!” You yelled at him so he could hear you over the loud sound of the helicopter.

“Yes! BUT NOT SKYDIVING! I WAS HAPPY TO WAIT FOR YOU WITH EARTH BENEATH MY FEET!” He yelled back and you were trying really hard to contain your laughter. Suddenly the big door next to the both of you slid open and the wind immediately pushed your body and Eddie’s back from the force but the guys remained still as they held onto the handles above the door.

“You guys ready!?” The one behind you asked and Eddie rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

“DO I HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE?”

“Nope.” The guy behind him said before jumping out with no warning, dragging Eddie with him, and then the guy strapped to you followed close behind. You were screaming your lungs out, and Eddie was shrieking. The adrenaline of falling was making him feel butterflies in his belly, almost making him feel sick.

He can hear you closer now and he raised his head to see you in front of him with your arms splayed out and reaching out for him. He could hear your laughter through your screaming and he reached out, fighting the strong wind, to finally lock his hands with yours as you two were freefalling towards the ground. 

He couldn’t help but smile and cheer out from how extreme the whole situation was. He didn’t know how you weren’t hungover, you had gotten yourself as drunk as possible yesterday night while dancing to his music. He showed you how to headbang properly, and he took care of you when you started letting the contents out in the toilet.

He held your hands as tightly as possible, your fingers intertwined with his, as you both yelled with excitement and fear as you plummeted down and down. You only separated when the men behind your backs tapped on your sides so they could pull the parachute open. 

Your bodies jerked as you started floating in the sky, and Eddie was left laughing as you both glided downwards towards the ground again. He could see the entire city and the fields as you both kept coming down. He turned his head to see you laughing as well, your head looking up at the sky in bliss and he felt his heart tug on him slightly. 

Once you two touched earth again, Eddie let the air out of his lungs with relief and the guy behind him unstrapped himself so Eddie could catch a proper breath, taking the goggles and helmet off. You followed a few seconds later, walking towards him with a smile on your face and taking your goggles off.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed at you with a shake of his head, flicking his fingers on your forehead.

“I won’t let you drag me into something like this ever again.” 

You laughed at him and you both walked back to Eddie’s van after you paid for the experience. You didn’t let Eddie pay at all, since you dragged him into it. He was going to invite you for dinner though, and you wanted McDonalds, so he was driving back towards town as you two talked in the van.

“So, you never told me about your parents.” You blurted out, catching him by surprise, but you were indeed right. He gripped his steering wheel a little tighter, but he kept a small smile on his face.

“Oh, where to begin? My mother died when I was young and my Father was… very abusive, and often dragged me into stealing with him. He got caught and he’s been in jail for a while now, he’s charged with robbery and homicide attempt.” He took a big gulp in as he kept driving, not used to letting people into his life in this way. “But, my uncle Wayne took me in at fifteen. He is the father figure my father failed to be.”

You were silent as you listened to him. He didn’t hear anything from you so he turned to face you, only to see you looking at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wondered what was going on in your head at that point. He was about to ask you what was wrong and you sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“I’m– sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” You said regretfully and he instantly shook his head.

“No, no… don’t worry. I’m past it.” He was worried about what you were thinking about at the moment since you remained silent for a while.

“I’m a little jealous to be honest… You had someone that…” And he waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he pressed forward.

“Someone that what?”

“Wanted you.”

And his heart broke at that, immediately so, and he knew his eyes started burning from the incoming tears and he shook his head to keep focused on driving. You didn’t need him to cry, you didn’t need that. 

But should he tell you what he thinks? Should he tell you what has been on his mind for the past month that he helped you tick things off your list?

“I–”

“Oh! Before I forget–” You looked through your purse, pulling out your phone as you started scrolling, and he frowned as he tried to look at what you were doing and then back at the road. You giggled and moved away so he couldn’t see. “No peeking!”

“Oh come on, you can’t just do that and not expect me to be anxious!” He laughed as he kept his gaze on the road and then he saw light in his peripheral vision and he looked quickly to see you were showing your phone to him. He switched from the road and to your phone but he couldn’t quite read it. “What’s that?”

“You know how one of the things was to go to a concert?” He nodded and you giggled, putting your phone down again. “I got us two tickets to go see Megadeth!” 

His jaw could just fall from his skull at this point as he tried to focus on driving and not the shock from those news. Did you say Megadeth? Are you serious? Eddie has been dying to see them live but when he got into the virtual line they got sold out in just a few seconds. 

“What?!” He yelled and you kicked your feet on your seat as you stared down at the phone. He was speechless, a smile spreading on his face, only for it to fall back down. “Wait, do you even LIKE Megadeth!?”

“Well, I haven’t heard much, BUT YOU LIKE THEM, and I assumed that we should go to a concert we both can enjoy. I doubt you want to go to a Taylor Swift concert.” You replied with a wiggle of your eyebrows only for him to scoff.

“Taylor Swift has some sick songs. But– Yes, I do prefer Megadeth sweetheart.” He smiled widely at you and then looked back at the road, cheering as he hit the steering wheel with excitement. “Fuck yeah!”

You were laughing on the passenger’s seat and Eddie was smiling all the while as realization started to dawn on him that… he may like something more than Megadeth’s music.

It was a special kind of tune.

“Seriously, how long are you gonna take darling, we had to go like yesterday!” Eddie yelled with a pissed-off tone as he paced in your living room. 

“It’s my first time wearing something like this, it needs to be perfect!” He heard you yell from the bathroom and he sighed, but a smile was splayed on his lips. He was looking out the window as he waited for you in his Megadeth tank top with a black leather jacket on top. He heard the bathroom click open and he sighed in relief, turning around with a roll of his eyes.

“Finally–” And his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your hair was messy, completely batted, wearing heavy black makeup on your eyes, strong lipstick on your lips, a black top with a black long-sleeved fishnet shirt on top, and then black leather pants below. You gave him a twirl and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“So!? I had to look at a tutorial on YouTube to get this done, but I think I did pretty good–”

“You look beautiful.” And it was natural. It came out without doubt, without him thinking too much about it, and you were shocked, yet, he noticed how you diverted your gaze away from him, and he chuckled at how embarrassed you got from a compliment regarding your physique. 

“I– uh, it isn’t weird?” You asked and Eddie knew you felt a little self-conscious of how different you looked. But you were indeed beautiful, this just enhanced it in ways he didn’t think could be possible and he felt his knees bending for you.

“It isn’t darling…” 

There was a moment of silence between the two of you and Eddie could only stare at you as he walked closer to your frame. He saw how your shoulders went up and down a littler harder than before, signaling him that you were taking deeper breaths, maybe from nervousness, he didn’t know.

“Um–”

“Sweetheart…” You finally looked at him and he smiled, rolling his eyes. “Can we please go now!?”

And you giggled at him, the tension leaving the both of you as you made your way out to head to his van. 

The ride to the stadium was filled with music, mostly Megadeth which you started listening to since you showed Eddie the tickets three weeks ago. Today signaled the second month of you two completing your bucket list.

One more month to go.

And the concert was filled with screams and laughter from your part, Eddie protecting you from the people pushing against you, but you didn’t care, experiencing your first concert ever, and you wanted to share it with him. This was your first and last concert, and you decided it was gonna be Megadeth, for his taste.

“That was AWESOME! My neck needs ice from all the headbanging though.” You sighed as you two got back into the van after almost three hours of jumping around. Your make up was smudged, your hair looked a little sweaty, and your lipstick had washed away from the sweat, yet, you looked as beautiful as you did hours ago. Even before the makeup. Maybe even more.

“Hey, you were great for your first metal concert.” You giggled at his words and gave him a nod.

“I am a natural.” You smiled at him and he just kept staring at you, licking his lips as he looked down and then moved his whole body in order to face you. The nerves were almost killing him as he tried to formulate the following words.

“I uh– I can help you cross another thing off your list.” You tilted your head in question and you pulled out your notebook from the bag you left in the van with your bucket list and then a green highlighter. 

“What is it?” You smiled at him as you handed them to him and he scanned the whole list, looking for that one thing and when he spotted it, he felt his heart in his throat as he slowly showed it to you, pointing at the line.

Have the first kiss

You blinked once, twice, and then looked up at him with a confused frown in your eyebrows. He gulped loudly and he might have overstepped it, but he still waited for your response and he could see the incoming tears in your eyes as he felt his hands becoming sweaty.

“You– You don’t have to do that… I– You don’t have to do something you don’t want to–”

“I want to. I really want to.” 

He could see that you were nervous, looking everywhere but his face. You didn’t reject him. You were worried that he didn’t want to do this and felt pressured because of your list, and that was far from the truth. 

“I– How does this go?” And he wanted to smile at your innocence, but he felt sadness that you never experienced any kind of physical interaction in all your life. But he smiled anyway, in order to calm your nerves down. He raised his hand towards your cheek once you moved to face him in the passenger seat. Your breathing hitched at his touch, finally looking at him, directly into his brown eyes.

“Just close your eyes. You can tell me to stop whenever, I won’t pressure you, sweetness.”

And his voice was soft, and caring, his thumb smoothing your cheek in circles and when he saw you close your eyes, he took a deep breath in as he slowly leaned in. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing to his head at a quick pace, but he had to focus. He knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t help it.

He could smell your perfume still, despite all the jumping, all the sweat, it was still lingering on your body. He finally closed the gap between the two of you in a soft peck on the lips, staying there for two seconds before pulling away as a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to dive into it, take your lips completely, but he didn’t want to overstep. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, only to be surprised by your hands grasping his face, pulling him towards your mouth again.

He gasped into the kiss, and he took it as a sign that you wanted to know more, experience more, learn more. So he kissed back, his hand moving towards the back of your head in order to push you further into him as you two hovered over the console. He started to move his lips, slowly, and he felt you follow him, hesitant at first, maybe doubting what you were doing. 

He was having a hard time focusing on not letting his instincts take over, a very horrible time. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible fucking idea and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to be the one to give this to you, because if someone else did… he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He didn’t want anyone close to you, not like this.

He felt your hands moving to the back of his head, your fingers digging into his curls, and he held a groan in, trying to not let it show how carnal he was becoming. He was nervous but he wanted to see if you wanted to take it even further, so he poked his tongue out, licking your bottom lip tentatively. 

He heard a gasp coming from you and he noticed that you didn’t get the idea of what he wanted to do, so he tried again, licking in between your bottom and top lip. You seemed to know what part comes next, so you slowly opened your mouth, and he met his tongue with yours, earning another gasp of surprise.

He wanted to know what thoughts were running in your mind right now as he kissed you. Did you feel the heat rising? Did you feel scared like he does? Did you feel happy? Confused? Nervous? What is going on in that head of yours?

He didn’t want to break it apart, he really didn’t, but it’s been minutes, and he didn’t want to overdo it at all, and he can’t hide his real feelings for much longer. He slowly pulled away from you, the smack of lips separating and vibrating all over the van. You two were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes.

“So? How was that for a first kiss?” He asked breathlessly and he could see something in your eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It was a mixture of emotions, not one in particular, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was still holding onto your face, waiting on your response.

“It–” You opened your mouth to say something, only to shut it seconds after, and then a smirk appeared on your lips, pulling away from him to sit straight in the passenger seat. “I don’t know Munson, got nothing to compare it to.”

His mouth fell open, a laugh escaping his lips as he poked the side of your body, making a giggle escape your lips, flinching away from him as he kept poking you repeatedly. 

Yeah… your laugh was better than any song out there.

Five days.

Five days and you were leaving.

And it’s not like you were going to come back. You weren’t going to in any shape or form.

Eddie was lounging on your couch as you put things in cardboard boxes. Things you wanted to donate since you weren’t going to need them any longer. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching and wanting to stop you, to yell at you that you didn’t have to do this, not anymore. 

“Okay, I think I’m done for today. You sure you don’t want any of this?” You asked him and he felt as if a knife was stabbed into his throat. He wanted to cry like he had been doing alone at night whenever he went to bed. Sleepless nights were plagued by the thought of not seeing you anymore, of not being able to hug you, of not being able ever to cuddle you like he wanted. 

“Yeah, pretty sure.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or angry, but he couldn’t hide it. You didn’t acknowledge it of course, so you shrugged, closing the box and standing up from the floor before heading to your room. 

He stared at your open door, needing to hype himself up. If it’s not now, he won’t have the chance to do it again. He needs to kiss you once more, he needs to hold you close, he needs to show his feelings through actions.

So he stood up and slowly walked towards your room. You were cleaning up your closet, looking through your shirts. He watched you move through your room, and he looked over to your desk, seeing the almost completed bucket list. Some were just impossible to complete, like riding a kangaroo, but there was a particular one that he wanted to fulfill, and not because it was on the list.

If this was the only chance he could do it, he would take it. You noticed his presence when you turned around with a shirt on your hand and saw him looking at your notebook. You tilted your head to the side as his fingers trailed one particular line that was yet to be highlighted.

“Eds? What’s wrong?” Your voice held worry as you put the shirt back in the closet and Eddie turned his head up to look at you. He turned to close the door behind him, to face you again, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I saw one more thing on the list… a thing I want too.” His voice was small, lacking confidence, filled with nerves, but he needed this. He needed you. He hoped he wasn’t getting this wrong, because ever since that kiss the two of you stole glances from one another, laughter as friends turned into flushed giggles. 

“And what is that?” You asked with a frown on your eyebrows, in question. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flushing your body to his, his breath most likely hitting your face as he felt your shoulders move even quicker than before, signaling him you were taking fast breaths.

“Do you trust me on this?” You stared up into his eyes for a full five seconds before slowly nodding at him. He lifted his other hand to cup your face in his palm, and he leaned down to take your lips with his. 

Electricity ran through his body, and he wanted to smile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to rip and break the walls, he needed to destroy something, he needed to hug someone, he needed comfort but he also needed the rage. 

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him as your lips moved together, soon tongues intertwining as the seconds passed, and your breathing turned jagged as you pulled away for some air. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, startling you, to then move downwards towards your neck, planting soft kisses onto your skin.

A gasp escaped your lips at the sudden sensation, new, raw, and Eddie felt you shiver under his touch, but instead, you were gripping his shoulders in order to pull him closer as the hand that was on your waist started sneaking under the hem of your shirt so he could touch your skin. 

“Eddie…” It was a partial moan, but he took it as a green light, moving you towards the bed so he could lay you down but before he crawled on top of you he took the chance to take his jacket off, throwing it across the room, not caring where it landed. 

If this was going to be the only time to have you like this, he would make sure to make you feel like the most adored person in the world. He will make sure of it. Even as your moans filled the room, he couldn’t help but want to record them, knowing he won’t ever hear them again.

And that line was highlighted in green when you both woke up the next morning.

Make love

He didn’t want to look at you. 

He couldn’t.

The sun was shining through your curtains as you walked around the apartment with the small carry-on waiting for you at the front door. The past few days the two of you dipped into the sheets, all day, cooking when necessary only to return to bed. 

He really wanted to cry and yell, and he almost left in the middle of the night in order to not see this day. In order to just run away from the fact this was your last hour with him, and you had asked him to take you to the airport. He can ditch you, tell you he wasn’t going to do it, that you could get a cab. 

But he couldn’t do it. His heart was ripping out of his chest at every step you took in your apartment, the seconds ticking closer and closer to the departure of your plane. A plane with no return at all. A one way ticket. 

He looked around your apartment, and boxes of stuff that you wanted to donate surrounded him, as well as bags of your clothes. You told Eddie that he was the only one in your will. That fact broke him to the core, knowing that you were leaving everything to him, but the only thing he wanted was you, and you were going to leave him. 

He didn’t want your pans, your apartment, your cutlery, your game consoles, or TVs. He wanted you, and only you. He didn’t notice that his tears were falling down his face as the lump in his throat became bigger and harder to swallow at every gulp he tried to take. 

“Okay, I think I’m–” You stopped on your tracks when you saw his profile, noticing the tears, your eyes widening as you approached him, your hands cupping his cheeks for him to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving me.” He wasn’t going to hold back his feelings anymore. He showed you through his actions, but he never said them out loud, and the least he can do is let you know this.

“What–”

“I love you.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open at his confession, but Eddie didn’t stop talking. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and fuck, you need to know how much I fucking want you.”

You were stunned into the ground and that’s when Eddie turned to look at you, only to see tears running down your face as you covered your mouth, taking steps away from him.

“You– You can’t say that to me, not now. Please– Please– not now.” You were choking into your sobs as he stood in front of you, coughing to be able to speak.

“I– I want you to stay… Please, don’t take that flight… I beg of you, please, stay with me…” His lip was trembling as he felt nausea fill his stomach, taking a few steps towards you as the crying finally was heard through the apartment.

“I– I don’t need your pity! I– I am happy I am doing this! You’re lying in order for me to stay, and I’m not going to buy it!” You yelled through your sobs, and Eddie felt his chest ripping open at your thoughts.

“I am not lying! I am in love with you! Why can’t you believe that!?” He was screaming now, trying to get his point across but you also didn’t back down, yelling back to him with the same confusion, with the same anger, with the same sadness.

“Because how can I trust that!? How can I trust you!?” And Eddie grabbed you onto your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in order for you to look at him and not run away. His eyes were on fire as he gazed at you through his tears.

“Trust me just like you trusted me to hold your hair back when you got too drunk and you were in the toilet! Trust me just like you trusted me to teach you how to drive! Trust me just like you trusted me to protect you in your first night club outing! Trust me just like you trusted me when I made love to you!” 

And the screaming ceased, eyes locked into one another’s, tears still streaming down, never stopping, heavy breathing trembling against every wall. You were shaking under his touch, your lips trembling as your hands shook on your sides while he still gripped onto your shoulders. You opened your mouth to talk once more, your voice small, broken.

“You… One day you will get tired of me, but you will feel bad for leaving me, so you won’t… I can’t– I can’t chain you like that–” Your voice was breaking his heart, even more than before, and he shook his hair desperately as he let go of your shoulders so he could grab your hands and hold them with his, getting closer to you.

“No, no… I won’t ever get tired of you… Not you, not in a million years…”

“Eds…”

“Please… Please don’t go… Please, trust me.” 

You sobbed a gulp of air and you raised in order to give him a soft kiss on the lips. His breathing hitched at it, but kissed you back, dread filling his core, every vein, every blood cell instantly freezing at what the future will hold, of what this kiss meant. You pulled away with a small smile on your face. Small, authentic, yet sad.

“I love you, Eddie… I’m sorry…”

And your flight took off that day.

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson!”

Eddie jolted in his seat as he put his wallet down to look up at his group of students. Gregory was raising his hand and Eddie pointed at him so he knew he was acknowledged.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What’s wrong Mr. Gill?” He asked and his student asked something about the textbook they were all reading. His college students. He began explaining the paragraph that seemed like a puzzle to students from the book “Down the Rabbit Hole”.

He graduated in Psychology three years ago. He was offered a job as a professor in the same college he graduated from, and he was more than happy to pass his knowledge to other students to help them understand how the brain works, and the many branches that can come out of it after every single situation in life. Traumatic or not.

Once his students went back to reading, he grabbed onto his wallet again, looking inside to see a picture of you and him, completing one of your bucket list’s objectives. 

Go to an amusement park and get pictures taken in a photo booth. 

He chuckled as he remembered that outing, how you had screamed at your first ride on a roller coaster.

He became friends with Steve once again but was still not fond of the rest of the group. The only reason he got close to Steve again was because he was also a teacher in the same college. He was a professor in physical trauma, so, in their breaks, they would smoke together as they walked through campus. 

The bell rang and it was time for him to finally head home after a long day of having four classes in the day. He grabbed his suitcase, hoping no student would stop him on his way out and gladly it never happened. His hair is still the same length, but he is always using a ponytail or a bun on his head. 

He has heard rumors that people always gossip about him, asking if he was single, or what was his life like outside college. He shrugged the comments away as they weren’t important at all. He just came to work and that’s it.

He got into his car, a black jeep he saved a year for in order to buy it. He missed the van, but he had to upgrade it once and for all. His van was a little old so replacement parts were a bitch to get. He turned on his car and then started his drive back to his home, a two-story house. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was his home.

He sighed in relief as he opened the door, throwing his suitcase on the couch after slamming the door closed. He cracked his neck a few times before taking his blazer off and then his tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and opening the cuffs at the end of the sleeves. He groaned with satisfaction as he sniffed the air.

He smiled as he walked towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his teeth showing into a massive grin. 

“Hi baby.” You smiled widely at him as you took the pan out of the oven, filled with cookies that were freshly baked. He walked towards you, his hand stretching out in order to grab a cookie, only for it to get slapped away by you. “They’re hot!” 

“I am strong, I can handle a little bit of burning.” He grinned down at you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips in greeting. “Were my princesses hungry for cookies?”

“Are you talking to me or…” He chuckled at the pout on your face and he bent down to kiss the big bump on your belly, standing up straight later on, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him.

“Those two are my princesses, you, my love, are my queen.” You rolled your eyes at his antics but you giggled either way. He gave you a smooch on the cheek, making you laugh, trying to push him away. He spotted something on the kitchen counter, pulling away from kissing you and getting the item in his hand.

“Oh! Yeah, Chrissy gifted that! She said–” Eddie laughed as he looked at you and then putting the two pink pacifiers that you can put flavored ice in so they can chew and help with the heat.

“Another gift!? Damn, she really wants to be the godmother of one of our princesses huh.” You pushed onto his shoulder with a pout on your bottom lip.

“Hey, she is going to be the best aunt.” Eddie nodded at that and he really wasn’t angry at Chrissy. You met her after you moved out of your apartment to go to Eddie’s. She was moving in at the same time you were, and you two helped each other in bringing the boxes in. 

Yes, your flight took off that day… Without you in it.

You stayed with him, wrapped in his arms as you cried, not being able to stop as your feelings confused you, scared you, your mind a jumbled mess but Eddie held you through it. Eddie wasn’t going to let you go, never, and he promised it, over and over again into your ear, hoping it stuck to your brain.

“Oh no baby, I don’t doubt that.” He smiled at you as you started taking the cookies off the tray, taking care of your hands so that you don’t burn yourself. Eddie just stared at you with adoration in his eyes, as if you held the entire world in your hand, and you did. You are his world. You are everything.

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question, wondering if he was scheming something that you didn’t know about.

“Now, what is going on in that mind of yours Munson?” He found it ironic that you can easily ask that question to him when he wanted to ask that to you many times before. He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his hands resting below your bump, holding onto it as he felt his two daughters moving inside of you.

“I just love you Mrs. Munson…” You turned your head to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before focusing once again on the cookies.

“And I love you.”

After a moment of silence, he pressed a soft kiss on the side of your neck, surprising you, yet a giggle escaped your throat.

“Thank you.” That confused you, turning your head to look at him and he was already smiling fondly at you.

“For what?”

“For trusting me.”

The end.

a/n: this story explores the idea of death, the idea of being ready to receive it with open arms, with a rational head. But it also explores the fact that things get better if you meet the right people. It might not be now, it might not be tomorrow. It might take years for you to do so, and people in your life will come and go.

But there will always be that one person. And that is all you will ever need.

Taglist of people I mentioned this to: @littlesubbyflower @munson-blurbs @andvys

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x female reader #eddie x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson blurb #dark!fic

[partycatty]

kenshi > read my mind

sitting across the table from your boyfriend at sun do's royal dinner, filling his mind with terrible images...

warnings: ur a horndog, exhibitionism ig, SWITCH KENSHI NATION RISE UP!

notes: this was inspired by @crimsonbubble 's post about kenshi's telepathy... absolute genius... also please pretend he's got sento here or something idfk just bear with me please i'm in heat LMAO. funny side note i had to rewrite this after finishing it to tweak some details, namely that i forgot kenshi CANNOT FUCKING SEE.

[ masterlist ]

• there was a mutual agreement between you and kenshi, no funny business in outworld lest the entirety of earthrealm be damned to your reputation. this was a doable task, you and kenshi were disciplined and well-mannered, like two cute little peas in a very stoic pod.

• however, when you're sat at the long table, syzoth on your left and johnny on your right as you tear apart a roasted bird, you find yourself salivating at the sight of kenshi swirl a glass of red wine with interest. how is it that everything he does is so effortlessly sexy? your chewing slows and you swallow thickly.

• kenshi must have felt your burning gaze, considering his familiarity with it, and his head flicks up to meet yours.

• you look really hot tonight, you try to think as coherently as you can but your mind wanders faster than you can control, and you're envisioning kenshi throwing that roasted bird and glassware to the floor as he fucks you stupid there and then, using your hole as his personal stress relief as he pins you hard to the table. kenshi chokes on his wine, fists clenching as his head tilts downward to avoid staring at you and spiraling his own mind any further.

• the illuminated figures of his friends surrounding kenshi don't seem to pick up on his flushed state, too entranced in their meals to properly notice anything off.

• what's the matter? you toy with him innocently, leaning over the table to tear the leg from the bird and let your breasts spill out and settle atop the table. how he wishes he could see the flush of your skin, the way your outfit compliments your figure so well. don't get too heated, someone will notice.

• you stick your finger in your mouth, sucking away the flavor of the food as you look directly at him with low lids. you had to commit to this, whatever your goal was it surely couldn't have ended well for you.

• there was so much room under the table, a dark part of you snickers as you envision crawling under the table and freeing his surely solid cock, swirling your tongue around his tip and digging your nails into his thigh, reminding him to keep quiet.

• "stop," kenshi mouths at you, shoulders tense as the spirits probe your mind and fill him with evil thoughts. you reach your foot underneath the tablecloth and confirm what you suspected when your sole pressed into his bulge, making him gasp before covering his mouth.

• seems like you don't want me to, you coo into his mind, applying just enough pressure to make him jump. you're all hard and needy for me, aren't you? wish you could just fuck my pretty pussy until i'm nothing more than a drooling mess?

• syzoth is startled by kenshi's thighs bumping the table, brows knitting as he eyes down kenshi's shivery state. "are you alright?" he inquires, tilting his head.

• "no need to worry, syzoth," you insist, while simultaneously conjuring up images of kenshi stuffing his inked fingers so deep in your cunt you cream over them. "kenshi is just a little under the weather as of late."

• your strained grin seems to convince him well enough to drop the subject, turning back to his plate of bugs. your head turns, now grinning at your extremely flustered boyfriend.

• "stop it," he mouths again, squeezing your foot between his thighs. that does nothing, of course, as he immediately is flooded once again with your thoughts of settling between his thighs, squishing your cheek on one while pumping his length with a hand. his throat clears, maybe a bit louder than intended.

• i want you so bad, your lashes flutter, your food a forgotten part of the process. you make me so wet, kenshi, it's so hard to focus when i just want you to use me.

• you giggle to yourself. kenshi's cock is so strained against his dress pants he wondered if he might just pass out or break his zipper. the thoughts of him splitting you open make your own thighs clench, rubbing together to release any tension you'd built. your panties undoubtedly damp, clit throbbing and needy, all of which you project into his head with a sly grin.

• fuck me open on this table, you halfheartedly propose. split me and make everyone know what a whore i am for that dick, pretty boy. i'll ride you so fucking good you won't even remember your own name, is that what you want? you want my thighs around your head when you eat me out? you make me cum so hard, kenshi, you and only you gets me so horny like this, i can barely contain it.

• simultaneously dirty talking through your minds and creating images and scenes that no doubt will send you to hell was far too much for kenshi, especially in public. he stands harshly, his chair screeching against the floor which thankfully draws enough attention away from him to allow him to adjust himself quickly in his pants, tugging his top down further in hopes that somehow, someway his massive cock could be hidden enough.

• "please excuse me," kenshi mutters, bowing deeply. "i believe i am unwell."

• "could we offer you anything?" kitana stands with him, eyes wide with concern. "tea, perhaps—?"

• kenshi bows his head, shaking it slightly. "that won't be necessary princess, though i appreciate it."

• after everyone finishes exchanging funny looks, nobody seems to really notice the sly glint in your eye as your head follows his movements. he walks around the table, having to pass you in the process. his hands sweep behind your hair and cup the back of your neck gently as he leans down to mumble something in your ear. nobody thinks to question the gesture, as it is common knowledge you two were together. what he says though, is so heinous you hope outworld abilities don't include superhearing.

• "you're fucking done for," he mutters, nails digging into the sides of your neck ever so slightly. "you're paying for making me this hard later."

• he pulls away before you could even consider replying, walking off as the click of his dress shoes lessen in volume. the dinner resumes, though johnny leans into your other ear.

• "what's his problem?" johnny asks obliviously, watching kenshi exit. "he's always got a stick up his ass... no offense."

• "none taken," you reply sweetly, turning to face him. "i believe he's just feeling a little sickly."

• "outworld germs?" johnny chuckles, leaning back in his chair. you shrug, looking at the bird again.

• "maybe it was the food."

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mk1 #mortal kombat smut #kenshi takahashi x reader #kenshi takahashi #kenshi takahashi smut #marley writes ☆

[myillusions]

Noisy Sunday (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Summary: You've entered a mindset you're unsure how to come back from, your own emotions drowning you in a pool of despondency. Joel is there, trying to help you pull away from it.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: HEAVYYY angst, fluff, cursing, large descriptions of depression, anxiety, dark thoughts, undefined age gap (reader is of age), kind of dark themes its very somber

A/N: hi hi!! oh my, im so sorry i havent posted in so long. life has been so busy lately with exams and work, but here's this whilst i struggle with that and writers block! sorry (not rlly) that its so angsty, THANK YOU SO MUCH to anyone who reads, i hope u enjoy lovelies! also please please PLEASE i cannot stress this enough; if any of the warnings i've stated make you uncomfortable, please DO NOT read this!! and for anyone who may need to talk, my messages are always open <33

It’s peculiar, you think. How it eats away at you, gnawing down against supple flesh when you’ve already been forcefully spiralled onto the floor. Most say it’s like greeting an old friend; and you agree. It’s almost like reuniting with a family member whom you rarely see at a gathering. The one which then continue to pester you with inquiries you don’t have the vigour to answer. 

It comes in a moment. Sometimes for no reason at all. It reminds you of the subject which stops your musical theatre production mid-way, shining a glaring light towards you whilst you stare wide-eyed back; a deer caught in the headlights. Your character starts to break down around you whilst you’re stood onstage, its pieces cascading along your incapacitated physique like thrashing water which you’ve just dived into from a twenty-foot jump, limbs flailing by your head until the inevitable crash through the translucent liquid stings at your skin.

It attaches itself like a shadow to you, not always so visible yet constantly looming from around your shoulder. It never really made sense to you, how the more the light shines against this tenebrosity, the darker the shadow it casts. Shading you. Smothering you. A copiously adamant fire which refuses to be extinguished, its embers dancing up past the hillocks perched in the distance and threatening to singe anyone who comes near.

It made you yearn for a reposeful night, where the stars shimmered like pools of water in reflection to the sea rather than your own tears surging down your cheeks. Where a modest zephyr tapped gently at your swaying hair, twirling locks around its invisible finger gingerly. Where the whole world paused on its axis, bringing forth those few moments of pure solace. Nothing to bother you, and nothing for you to bother.

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” A husky voice drawls out from beside you after the door to the front patio squeals open on its hinges, revealing Joel; adorned in his sleepwear of blue plaid print trousers and a black long-sleeved sweater. Considering his normal attire of worn-down jeans and a permanent scowl, he looked almost ridiculous, but in an admiring sort of way. His inquiry forcefully dragged you from the dazed state you had found yourself caught in, your eyes hauling themselves to face him laboriously slow, like it was strenuous to do so. You blinked a multitude of times to attempt to clear your head of its cloudiness.

You gave a harsh swallow before you even attempted to reply, “Not long. I just needed some water and air.” You lied right through your teeth, wincing towards the factor that a glass of water was sitting idly beside you on a tall and round wooden coffee table, still full to the brim with the reflecting liquid. Joel didn’t look convinced. To be honest, you had maybe caught a total of eight hours of sleep in the past three or four days, if lucky. Your body drums with craving for rest at the deprivation, but you couldn’t bring yourself to relax for long enough to lull into even a light rest, thoughts striking their way through forcefully in the canvas of your head, ripping downwards to leave their mark fiercely, consistently reminding you that pain is not an easy thing to ignore.

If you could say the apocalypse surfacing has brought you anything, it’s that it’s made you tired. So tired. But there are two types of tired, you suppose; one is a dire need of sleep, the other is a woeful need for peace.

Joel exhales past his nose harshly, his head dipping downwards for a moment, maybe in disappointment- you’re not sure. Either way, your stomach lurches with guilt, and you turn your head to face forward once again and pay rigorous attention to each detail lining the Jackson street in front of your given accommodation. The street was entirely empty, the only sound to be heard within earshot being the light whisk of the breeze against your supple skin, reddening the tip of your nose and turning your fingertips numb. You should’ve guessed Joel wouldn’t believe your white lie. Knowing him, he likely noticed you retracting the sheets from your legs and his arms strewn around your waist at just the start of the night, before tiptoeing down the stairs as quietly as possible to weave through the kitchen then to the front patio, where you have been set for a couple of hours now.

You’re both silent for multiple pregnant pauses, and you have to fight the urge to nibble nervously against your bottom lip, apprehension swirling within your chest.

“Do you want to come back to bed?” Joel tries cautiously, to which you visibly tense. You tilt your chin downwards dubiously, before giving an almost indistinguishable shake of your head from side-to-side.

Joel doesn’t give a response to your discreet answer, but instead pushes himself forwards from where he’s leaned against the doorframe to move past you and settle against the uncomfortable wooden chair opposite your own. The chair creaks as he perches himself there, the only intruding sound to the tranquillity before it swallows you both whole once again, thudding against the thin air which is gradually turning palpable. It’s suffocating.

“…Would you-“ He starts, his gaze turning upwards from the patios surface to face you, “Want to talk about it?”

Your heart throbs agonisingly at his offer, your fingertips tracing the wrecked linen material of your pants. You try a small, consoling smile, one that barely reaches your eyes; your head lifting to face him.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You murmur back, sombrely. You weren’t fibbing about this, though. There was no explanation as to why you were feeling this surge of perplexing emotions. It appeared as if it were just a protruding root sticking awkwardly out from the soiled terrain, its only task to trip and surprise anyone who were unfortunate to tread along. Even if you wanted to talk with Joel about it, you weren’t sure how to put it into words. It’s fine, until it’s not; a surprise.

“I can’t help you if you won’t let me.” Joel speaks, his voice softer than usual, as though he was afraid for what your reaction would be.

You bottom lip purses as you bite down against your tongue roughly, almost drawing blood to quarrel against the melancholy rising in your throat. You’re not sure how to reply- you don’t wish to reply. You would rather descend into the quietude than face this situation. It’s not that you liked the silence, no- you actually despised it. Silence gave any thoughts swirling around the midst of your head permission to inflate and rise to the surface, bobbing up and down there, whilst its limbs helplessly thrash around, wishing to get back to shore.

It's only after you notice that Joel is still peering over at you expectantly do you swallow gratingly, opening your mouth to answer.

“Well, I- It’s not anything, I’m fine-“

“Why can’t you just stop for once in your life?”

“What?” You ask, your voice cracking at its edges. Your brows shoot upwards at his words, taken aback.

“You lie to me, act like you’re okay- when you’re so clearly not and you won’t even let yourself realise that you need help.” He speaks sternly, eyes firmly trained on you- whilst you can’t even meet his gaze, eyesight shifting to anywhere but where he’s sat opposite you.

You weigh over your words, a trepidatious lump forming inside your throat. Your vision blurs at its corners, your brain fogging over with despondency.

“Please don’t make me say it.” You eventually speak again, your voice strained painfully, as your head drops down in a swaying motion, defeated.

Joel doesn’t reply, but instead reaches forward, gently placing his hand atop your own where its set against your thigh. He gives a gentle squeeze, urging you to blink back up towards him, where he’s peering at you with a softened gaze; and you can’t fight off the tears that instantaneously build up against your vision, attempting to rip past your shields and barriers which are gradually toppling down around you.

“I am barely holding on.” You admit, your shoulders slumping forward with the heaved effort of speaking without letting a cry rip through in interruption, causing a few teardrops to plunge down the canvas of your cheeks. A harrowing headache thrums against your forehead, your field of view only worsening, but not enough that you can’t see the way that Joel’s expression is overcome with visible empathy, which only results in making your stomach lurch more.

“And I-“ You exhale sharply, “And I can’t even tell you why. I just- there’s this thing, and it’s weighing over my shoulders. I can’t shake it.”

“You don’t have to find the perfect words. Just tell me what you’re feeling. I’m here.” He encourages softly.

“It’s like- like I’m here, but I’m not. I’m away from my body, watching over myself; whilst continuously being dragged backwards by this unknown force- pushing me somewhere I think I know. It’s like déjà vu, when you walk into a room, and you don’t where you know or remember it from, but you can feel that you recognise it. I-I’m angry, I’m sad and I’m confused. Maybe I just have a built-up resentment against the world.” You speak rather sullenly, but try to mask it with a small, tight-lipped smile towards Joel once your brief monologue comes to an end.

“I can’t say I know exactly what you’re feeling. But… I don’t want you to push me away. I want to try and help you, in any way that I can. But I can’t if you won’t allow me to. And… I don’t want it to seem like I’m tryin’ to coddle you, or anythin’. It’s because- y’know, I care about you.” Joel speaks steadily, his gaze shimmering with uncertainty.

Your heart lurches downwards in repentance with his words, as though you were liable for your own shifting thoughts and feelings. It bruises you; how much you’ve allowed your emotions to take hold, guiding the wheel in a swerve as rubber burns against asphalt distastefully. How far you’ve come, just to end up here. You know you need help. You’re just unsure how to accept any. But you know that you wish to breathe again. To hold out a hand to loved ones. To be afraid of death again. To have excitement at the idea of different winding roads. To feel free as a light breeze washes against your skin, clearing any distress from you in a wave. You wish to dream again. This longing is what powers your words onwards, as you peer over at Joel, vulnerable,

“I need help.”

Joel’s hand raises from the back of your palm, and instead encompasses your icy fingers with his warmer ones, intertwining them. He searches your eyes for a moment, and once he discovers a bold outline of authenticity, he promptly nods towards you.

“Together?”

“Together.” You reply.

It evokes a memory of a familiar oak tree. One you were very accustomed to when you were younger, before the outbreak. As a child, you used to wonder down the street to the park perched at the end after every school day. Outlining the grounds, just opposite a wooden bench, was an oak tree. Tall and mighty; confidence resonating from its stance, daring anyone to meddle with it. Thick arms branching from its moss-coated wood, whilst the lime-coloured leaves bundled against each other cascaded the surrounding distance in shade. You would lay beneath it, basking in the frigid yet reassuring atmosphere it created, hair messily sprawled out around your head. You would frequently come to the spot to just rest within the constant spiralling of the world, watching as the tree’s features changed with the reoccurring seasons; its leaves shifting from green to gold, from gold to ginger, then from ginger to cherry, and then falling, oscillating down to the soil with the wind, before repeating its cycle. It was almost soothing, watching its colours shift around with the change of the earth, whilst resolutely remaining staunch in its attitude, its branches a prime symbol of vigour. Changing, but still remaining what it is; strong. You deeply envied that, and hoped- wished, that someday you would build yourself up to resemble that oak tree.

"We drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel so sick." - Atticus

Noisy Sunday - Patrick Watson

Comments and feedback are appreciated!

#joel miller fanfiction #Joel Miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel #hbo the last of us #the last of us #help idk what im doing #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou series #hbo #joel miller x f!reader

[bbyquokka]

：🍡 ♡ . ⁺ ᘏ : stress relief

➥ pairings: Bang Chan x fem!reader

➥ genre: idol!au | smut | MDNI

➥ synopsis: chan is feeling stressed at work, so you pay him a visit to help him 'relax'

➥ warnings: smut | penetration | cock warming | clit stimulation | fingering | pet names [pup, babe, baby] | grinding

➥ words: 2.7k

➥ chan | minho | changbin | hyunjin | jisung | felix | seungmin | jeongin

➥ tags: @lix-ables | @sstarryoong | @ipegchangbin | if you wished to be tagged in this mini series, lemme know

➥ m.list – ➥ cock warming m.list – ➥ you can also read it on my ao3

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

you [20:07]: i miss you 🥺

Chan [20:07]: i miss u too babe. sorry, work is just hectic rn 😞

you [20:08]: when will u be home? 

Chan [20:08]: in an hour or so. shouldn't be too long babe. 

you [20:10]: okay. i love you 💘

Chan [20:11]: i love you too pup 🖤

An hour had passed and there was no sign of Chan. Your guess is that he got so caught up in his work, he lost track of time. It's pretty common for him to do that. When Chan gets lost in his work, he zones out. He disregards his needs, forgets where he is. He becomes hyper focused, which can be worrying.

Chan is the type of person to want to get things done on time, however, he is a perfectionist. He always has been from day one. Being in the spotlight has only made it worse.

You and his members have told him countless times that he should always take care of himself. He does, for a while, then he falls back into his bad habits. Comeback season is the worst for chan. The build up to it, the countless photoshoots, the endless hours of shooting music videos plus performing on stage – it's no wonder Chan becomes so stressed.

You know he loves his job. You also know he adores STAYS and would do anything to please them. However, what he fails to notice is that he cannot keep doing this. Being his girlfriend, you've had enough of seeing your boyfriend fail to care for himself. He always scolds you for skipping one meal or not drinking enough water, so now, it's your turn.

You picked up your phone bringing up your contacts list. You scrolled through, stopping at Changbin's contact. Pressing the green call button, you put your phone to your ear. It rang a few times, before changbin picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Changbin! It's y/n."

"Oh, hey y/n. everything okay?" Changbin spoke. His words sounding muffled, mouth full.

"Have you heard from Chan?" the sounds of noodles being slurped ran down your ear, making you shiver and cringe a little.

"Uh. Not since I left him at the office, why?"

"He said he would be home in an hour." You sighed softly, running your fingers through your hair.

"Let me guess." Changbin paused, drinking his ramen broth. "He's not home?" 

"Mhm."

"He's probably still working then. If he's not with you or us, then he's probably still in the studio."

"Yeah." You sighed again. "That's what I thought."

"He was pretty stressed out when me and Ji were there. Thinking about it, he's been in a foul mood all day."

"He seemed a bit off this morning too. I wonder if the stress of the comeback is getting to him." You thought out loud. 

"Probably. We all know what Chan is like during this time. He snapped at me suddenly."

"What?" Your eyes widen a little in disbelief. It's very rare for Chan to suddenly snap at someone, it's hard to get Chan angry regardless. So hearing that he snapped at his close friend indicated that he is stressed beyond belief.

"Yeah. It shocked me and Ji. Think he even shocked himself to be fair. He did apologize but it's not like Chan."

"Yeah, it's not." You mumbled. "I think I'm going to go see him. This is unacceptable. I can't have him acting like this."

"Hey, if he's going to listen to someone, then it's going to be you for sure." Changbin chuckled. 

"Do you know if he has eaten or?"

"Mhm, probably not since lunch time." 

"That's what I thought. I best get going then. Go convince the boyfriend to at least take a break." You groaned softly, walking to your shared bedroom.

"Chan and breaks? Yeah, good luck with that y/n." Changbin chuckled with a mouthful of rice.

"Thanks, I'll need it. Enjoy your meal, Changbin." You laughed softly before hanging up. You changed into something more comfortable and warm, considering that the nights are getting colder, you felt like it wasn't a smart idea to go out in a vest and shorts.

Grabbing your winter coat and shoes along with your purse, you walked out of your shared apartment, locking the door before making your way to the supermarket.

Knowing that Chan hasn't eaten or drank anything for hours, angered you slightly. Sometimes, you wish he learnt how to look after himself, be a little selfish and make himself priority number one. But no matter how many times you – or the members – scold him, he never listens.

You grabbed some microwaveable rice and ramen along with some snacks and water that claims it's 'packed full of vitamins and minerals.' Paying for your little shop, you headed to the JYP building.

◃───────────▹

The streets are fairly calm and collected, with the occasional passer-by's and cars. The night sky was clear, giving you a glimpse of the shining stars. It was a full moon tonight, much to your liking. The moonlight shone on the pavement giving you more lighting than the streetlamps.

You stopped to take a quick snap at the moon and stars, smiling softly as you looked at it. Feeling the tips of your fingers quickly freezing up, you put your phone away, placing your hands in your pockets.

The air is icy. A chill so cold it made the hairs on your arms stand up. Your breath shows every time you exhale. You soon arrived at the building. Making yourself known at reception, they happily let you through. You made your way to Chan's room, taking your coat as the stark contrast from the cold chill to the warmth was evident.

You knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds for permission. When you received nothing, you frowned, knocking again – nothing.

"Chan?" You spoke, slowly opening the door. You peeked your head out looking around. A small lamp provided minimal light compared to the harsh light radiating off his laptop screens. Your gaze fell on a very stressful looking Chan. 

His brows furrowed together, stress lines evident on his forehead. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, chewing slightly – a bad self taught habit of his. His eyes flickering all over his laptop screen, fingers working their magic. 

You closed the door quietly, noticing the headphones on his head over the hood of his hoodie. Makes sense why he didn't hear you knock. With a heavy sigh, Chan fell back in his seat. The seat rocking from the impact as he rubbed his tired face with his hands before taking his headphones off.

"Knock knock." You spoke softly. Chan jumped, startled at the sudden voice. He looked at you, face softening.

"Hey pup!" You walked towards Chan, throwing your coat on the sofa behind him. You placed your plastic bag on his desk.

"Hey baby." You placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Chan swiveled in his chair to face you, opening his legs wide enough for you to stand between them.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned, planting his hands on your hips softly.

"Well, you said you would be home in an hour. The hour is up, so I came to see you instead. Plus–" You opened the plastic bag, taking out the grocery's you bought, placing them one by one on his desk. "I bought you dinner. Changbin told me you haven't eaten since lunch!" 

Chan looked up at you sheepishly, feeling guilty. You folded your arms, eyebrows raised as you looked down at him.

"You can't keep doing this, babe. You have to take care of yourself! It's important! You always preach to me about it, so why can't you?"

"I'm sorry pup. It's just, I get so lost in work that I simply forget. Plus, I feel so stressed out right now."

"Yeah. Changbin told me you snapped at him earlier." Chan looked down at the mention of taking his frustration out on his friend. You sighed softly, pulling his head into you, resting it on your stomach.

"Babe I love you and all but you have to learn to take a break." 

"I can't afford breaks right now." Chan mumbled, nuzzling his face into your stomach. He inhaled your sweet scent, humming softly.

"I get that but you don't work well under stress, babe." You stroked his hair softly, looking down at him.

"I know." 

"So, whilst I'm here, take a break! I haven't seen you all day so I want to spend some time with you." You pouted. Chan nodded.

"Okay, I will take a break. When it's over, I have to finish this though. You can go home afterwards though."

"Hell no! I'm staying. I'll sit on the sofa and be as quiet as a mouse. You won't even know I'm here." You grinned.

Chan did indeed take that break. You convinced him to eat and drink something before he continued on with his work. You were lounging on the sofa, browsing through your phone.

The occasional sigh would leave his lips, the stress slowly creeping its way back. You soon got bored of your phone, placing it down beside you. You decided to watch Chan work, your eyes traveling up and down his body.

The way his legs spread open under the desk, hand wrapped around the mouse, his tendons moving with every click of the mouse. The sleeves of his hoodie rolled up to his elbows. His veins protrude on his arms, the way his muscles flexed with every movement. You couldn't help your thoughts from getting filthy. 

You pressed your lips together in a thin line, eyes closing as your mind wandered into the unknown. Memories of when Chan would have his hand around your neck, fingers deep inside you, came flooding to you. His perfect, lean body hovering over you as his hips smacked against yours, body slick with sweat. His eyes focused on you and provided you with intense pleasure – fuck, when was the last time you two were intimate with each other? 

You know you shouldn't, you know Chan is stressed but you couldn't help the lust pooling in your core. You couldn't help but feel your panties slowly sticking to your skin due to your juices. You couldn't help but feel flush, besides, it's not your fault you have such a handsome boyfriend. 

You stood up off the sofa, slowly walking behind chan. You draped your arms over his shoulders, holding onto your wrist to lock him in. Chan took no notice of you, eyes glued to his screen as his fingers tapped away at the keyboard. You noticed his painted nails which only heightened your horny thoughts.

You leaned in, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. You inhaled his musk scent, heart pounding against your ribcage. You planted delicate kisses on the skin on his neck making Chan shiver. Smirking against his neck knowing he has finally become aware of you, you sucked and licked his neck.

A throaty groan rippled from his chest to the back of his throat, his hands frozen in place. You left purple bruises, feeling sorry for the scolding he was going to get from his make-up artist.

"Chan." You shakily spoke his name. Your skin heating up, cheeks flush as your needs escalate. "Chan, I need you." 

"Pup." Chan spluttered. "Not now, I'm busy." You squinted, walking to his side. He looked up at your rosy cheeks and glossy eyes, his cock twitching in his pants. 

"Please Chan. Just for a few minutes." You whined. "I need to feel your skin against mine. We haven't touched each other for so long, I'm craving you baby." 

Chan bit his lower lip softly, pushing his chair away from his desk, leaving enough room for you whilst making sure he could still reach his laptop.

"Fine." He mumbled. "But only for a few seconds.' You nodded, stripping yourself of your pants. You straddled Chan's lap, his hands on your waist gently. You held onto his shoulders, whimpering softly as you finally got to see your handsome man properly.

"So handsome." You purred, kissing up his neck slowly. Chan tilted his head to the side allowing more access for you. His hands moving from your waist to your ass, cupping it.

He spreads your cheeks, squeezing them roughly. His cock getting hard underneath you. You purposefully sat on his crotch, rocking your hips slowly. You moved from his neck to his lips, capturing them against your own.

The kiss was fuelled with need and desire, it only made you more horny. You desperately grasped onto Chan, not wanting to let go. Teeth and tongues collided with each other, saliva mixing together. laboured pants leaving your lips as you increase the speed of your grinding.

"Pup, I have to work." Chan grunted against your lips, pulling away slowly. You pouted.

"But Chan." You grabbed his hand, guiding it down into your panties. Chan shivered as his fingers came into contact with your wet pussy. He rubbed your clit slowly as a soft sigh left your lips. His technique made you want more, so much more than fingers. 

His fingers teasingly circled your entrance, fingers covering in your slick. You nuzzled into his neck, soft sighs hitting his skin. Whilst he was teasing your entrance and clit, his lips kissed your shoulder tenderly. He dipped a finger in your entrance, your walls welcoming him. Your essence and warmth coated his fingers as he thrusted it slowly.

You hummed softly, eyes closing. Soon, he added a second, scissoring and stretching you out. His fingers curled against your walls, stroking them with the sides of his fingers. Your pussy contacted and released around him, fingers getting soaked with each pull back.

"Chan, I need you." You pulled away from his neck, whimpering softly as you looked at your flushed boyfriend with glossy eyes.

"You have me, pup." He whispered.

"No. I need you." You slide your hand down to his crotch, squeezing his pulsating erection. Chan bucked his hips in your hand, grunting softly as he pulled his fingers out off your aching cunt.

"We can't, pup. I seriously have to work. We can when we get home." You whined at Chan, kicking your head back and groaning.

"I can't wait, Chan!" 

"You have to. I have to mix Jisung's vocals for this track before tomorrow so we can work on something else." His arms extended to the side of you, fingers tapping away at his keyboard again.

"Can you at least put it in?" Chan's fingers stopped, his eyes looking at you as you pouted. "Pleaseee. You'll feel relaxed and stress-free. Plus, I feel so empty, Chan. I can't wait till home to get filled by you." You gave him your best puppy eyes.

Chan groaned softly, nodding before resuming his work. You smirked, pulling his cock out off his restraints as you pulled your panties to the side. You grabbed his cock by the base, skin hot against your hand. You rubbed his tip up and down your slit, coating it in your essence. 

"Don't tease pup. If you want it in, do it now before I change my mind." Chan growled. You hummed softly, lifting your hips up before slowly sinking down on his cock.

You both groaned in unison. The warmth and wetness of your pussy along with the stretch was blissful to you both. You sunk all the way down, burying your head into his neck.

You kept still. The warmth of your pussy suffocated chan. Your walls involuntarily clenched around him, making him groan softly from the back of his throat. He could no longer concentrate on his work, his focus shifting to you.

His fingers hovered over the keys, hand stationary on his mouse. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, think of something other than your warmth and your soft laboured pants. He felt you grip onto his hoodie, bundling it up in your fists. "Focus Chan, you have to work." was all he could tell himself. 

He likes to think he has willpower, determination, but this was testing him and he's slowly failing. 

"I can't do this." he finally spoke, hands grabbed your ass as he stood from his seat, his cock still inside you. You giggled softly against his skin as he gently placed you on the sofa before towering over you. He placed his hands by your head before slowly thrusting. 

"You feel too good around me, pup. How am I supposed to concentrate on my work?"

#kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #straykidsland #skz #stray kids #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #bang chan #chan #bang chan smut #chan smut #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #chan x you #chan x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz scenarios #kpop smut

[oletus-writer]

Ada Mesmer NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: nsfw, poly adaemil

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

She’s gentle and tender, both during sex and after, so expect to be pampered. She does expect for you to give the same treatment and tend to her needs in return, but she won’t hold it against you if you cannot.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

She likes not only the entirety of your body, but also the way you hold yourself, the subtle changes in your body language that reveal to her more than one could speak. Her favourite part of hers is her hair, as she takes great pride in keeping it voluminous and luscious.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Often her orgasms include squirting, and while she would try to stop it if you don’t like the mess, she can be caught up in the moment and forget to do so.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If you are open to a relationship between both her and Emil, then she’ll, of course, want to have a threesome sometime. There is a part of her who wants to roleplay, as well as being dominated, since Emil is unable to give her that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

Ada has good experience both with men and women, and is good at reading body language. She won’t push if she thinks you’ll be uncomfortable, and will make sure you’re not simply agreeing to please her.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary’s a classic, and she enjoys seeing you under her, or feeling you above her. She likes to lean back on her heels and see how much of a mess you are.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Ada might crack jokes beforehand to lighten the mood if you’re nervous, but won’t make any during, as she doesn’t want to ruin the mood, as it might make Emil feel a bit off about the whole thing.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?)

She’s not fully shaved, but keeps it trimmed, and doesn’t mind if you have any hair. She’s not vain enough to dye her pubes the same colour as her hair when she has skins, and isn’t embarrassed about it at all.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? are they romantic?)

She is intimate, less so romantic, as she has plenty of time to pamper you when you’re not having sex. She thinks sex is an intimate thing, and will tend to your needs before hers.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

Sometimes she masturbates, as she has a higher sex drive than Emil, or if she’s busy. Moments when she’s horny but doesn’t want to have sex is rare, and mostly from stress, but she will discuss it with the two of you if it becomes frequent and if she finds herself rejecting, only to masturbate in secret.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She likes to be dominant in the bedroom, and enjoys body worship and you calling her master/mistress/mommy, but other than that, she’s pretty vanilla.

L = Location (favourite places to have sex)

Of course, the bedroom. She won’t risk anything else, as she doesn’t want to be caught and doesn’t like taking that risk at all - sex is a private thing, and such intimacy shouldn’t be intruded upon by outsiders. Also Emil has anxiety.

M = Motivation (what turns them on?)

Be submissive to her, and she’ll be all over you. Naturally, she loves it when you dress up for her, and won’t be able to keep herself in check if you show up in, say, a maid dress. That being said, she also loves it if you’re being dominant, when you boss her around and call her a good girl with that voice of yours.

N = No (what turns them off?)

While she is up for roleplay, she doesn’t like any situations where one of you is pretending not to want the sex, or when there’s a severe power imbalance.

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

She knows how to give Emil pleasure, and she knows her way around her own anatomy, so she’ll be able to give oral well, although she doesn’t have much experience with giving women oral.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

She’s slow, taking her time to explore every inch of your body, backtracking when it makes you feel good. She might be fast and rough if you like it, but it tires her.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

Naturally, she’s alright with quickies, and doesn’t mind them, as long as they aren’t in places where the two of you won’t get caught - even if it’s in, say, a locked broom closet, she won’t do it. Most of the time she’s not afraid of being caught, moreso she’s afraid of how you’d react to the consequences.

R = Risk (are they experimental? do they take risks?)

She’s experimental, sure, but she won’t take any risks, no matter how big or how little the chances of consequences. She wants to make sure you and Emil are healthy both physically and mentally. That being said, she would take some risks if it was just the two of you alone…

S = Stamina (how long do they last?)

One or two rounds, perhaps, but she’s welcome for you to continue to play with her exhausted body afterwards. There’s a safe word for a reason, and she’s not hesitant to tell you when it a enough.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them?)

She knows her way around sex toys, such as vibrators, straps, dildos, etc, but doesn’t like to use the toys which lean more to the BDSM side of things, such as bondage or discipline, as she doesn’t like the idea of hurting you or preventing you from saying the safe word.

U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

While she’s almost a service top (moreso a soft dom) she enjoys teasing and edging you, so that you’re a mess beneath her. It’s fair play if you do the same to retaliate; she might even enjoy it.

V = Volume (how loud are they?)

She’s pretty loud with her sweet moans, and vocal about what feels good and what doesn’t. She’s often bossing you around, even if she bottoms, because she’s so used to ordering Emil around.

W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)

She wants to be dominated, or to be fucked with Emil watching (or for you to fuck him while she’s watching).

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Brown nipples, I think, and her inner labial folds are a bit longer, and protrude from the rest of her vulva.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s relatively high, higher than Emil’s, anyways. She’s perfectly fine if you can satisfy her every time, and doesn’t mind masturbating when you can’t. If it were up to her, though, you’d be having sex a few times a week.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex with her isn’t too rough, and you’ll have both her and Emil to satisfy you, so safe to say you won’t exhaust her to the point where she desperately needs a nap afterwards. She is happy to do most of the aftercare, and sometimes stays up to watch the two of you sleep.

#identity v #identity v x reader #idv x reader #idv #idv ada #idv ada x reader #ada mesmer #ada mesmer x reader #ada x emil

[captaincryolicious]

Cold case

➳ Heizou x gn! detective reader

➳ Oneshot ; 9.2k

➳ Fluff, mild enemies to lovers ; No warnings

It was easy to decide that you didn't like the star detective, but how realistic is it to keep up that act when you are stuck together on a frostbitten mountain? [07.08.2022]

Zep's Note ; This is soooo long and it has really gotten out of hand but I really hope it won't stop you from reading this. It took so long to write this, I hope it doesn't flop heh.

content under the cut | masterlist

    "It is, by now, clear that the man we're looking for has fled to the cold mountain outside of our nation. Together with the Knights of Favonius we have come to the unanimous decision that the Tenryou Commission will remain on the case. Somewhere within the next few days, upon finishing all the needed preparations, a select few of our best detectives will be sent to Mondstadt in order to…" 

You tried to listen to the droning voice of the old man in front of the room, for what he was saying held quite some importance, but you couldn't help but to zone out as nervousness swirled in your stomach. You were told that you were chosen to be on the team before the meeting even started, and you already felt the pressure resting on your shoulders. It wasn't just a random case you were assigned to, and not only that, it was also your first time leaving the nation of eternity. The entire thing was quite a big deal, and you knew you had to perform to the best of your abilities. 

     "...Dragonspine is a dangerous place and the suspect is someone who also imposes a threat. Please, keep this in mind at all times and do not operate on your own, I cannot stress this enough. Make sure to stay with your assigned partner and regroup in case of emergency…" 

Yeah, this case started to terrify you. 

     "This is getting interesting," a voice next to you commented, and you glanced to your right to find Inazuma's most famous detective leaning back in his seat lazily.

He seemed utterly unfazed by the weight of all that was told, his eyes sparkling with a glint of excitement that was almost boyish. His lips were pressed into a lopsided grin; was he even taking this seriously? This wasn't a laughing matter in the slightest, nor was it a case that should be taken lightly. Everyone else in the room was dead serious, listening intently, but he seemed to be in his own little world. 

What was his name again? Shikanoin Heizou, wasn't it? The prodigy detective of the Tenryou Commission, someone you were supposed to look up to. Ever since joining the detective department, you've heard a lot about him, for he had a reputation that preceded him across all of Inazuma. You've caught glimpses of him occasionally, but that was as far as it went so you never really formed an opinion about him. From what you were seeing of him right now, you were not impressed.

You decided to ignore his comment and redirected your focus to the Doushin in front as he went over the details surrounding the case. 

Despite your nervousness, you were also excited. You had been working on the case for some time now and you were glad you had been chosen to continue the search in another nation. You were the one who paved the way for the breakthrough that directed the team to the icy mountain of Mondstadt, and you couldn't wait to delve through the thick layers of snow and secrets and eventually catch the culprit. 

     "Are you also on the case?" the detective next to you spoke up again, his hushed voice directed towards you this time. "You seem really immersed in what the old man is talking about." 

     "Yeah," you replied curtly, not even bothering to look at him. You weren't here to make conversation, you were here to grasp the details of your assignment, and this guy was being a distraction.

     "So am I," the male whispered. "I mean, of course I am on the case. As soon as they asked me, I dropped a few other cases I was on. I didn't want to miss out on this opportunity."

Wasn't he a talkative one, huh? He sounded kind of full of himself too. Annoying and complete with an ego that was too big for your liking. You quickly came to the decision that you didn't particularly like him.

     "I'm Heizou, by the way, but I'm sure you've heard about me before," he told you, his tone still quiet. He shot you a charming smile, and you forced yourself to ignore it despite the pavlovian urge to smile back.

Shit, why did his smile have to be so pretty?

     "I'm Y/N," you muttered, opting against telling him to kindly shut up. You glanced at the clipboard in your lap, that held by far not as many notes as it should. You were so distracted, and the so-called brilliant detective was mostly the one to blame. So this was the Tenryou Commission's superstar? 

Apparently, knowing your name satisfied him, for he didn't bother you for what remained of the meeting. In the last few minutes you frantically took notes, trying to scribble down details you had only heard vaguely. You couldn't help but glance at the cherry-haired male – you didn't know why, you just had to – and it kind of surprised you how he neatly took notes as well. So he did take it seriously? 

     "...will receive an invitation to the next meeting shortly, please be present there as well. That brings today's meeting to an end. Dismissed."

The elderly Doushin clapped his hands, and everyone started moving. You gathered the few things you had brought with you and got up, hurriedly exiting the room before the prodigy detective could bother you again. Of course it was no surprise that he was also on the case, but you weren't sure how to feel about it. Sure, if he was as good of a detective as everyone said, he was a great asset in finding the culprit in the barren circumstances of Dragonspine. But seeing was believing and he had yet to convince you of his skills. 

                    ✧✧✧

You weren't sure why the Tenryou Commission's star detective decided to stick around you, but you weren't happy with it in the slightest. He was intrusive, always demonstrating how full he was of himself, lingering around you, firing remarks in your direction you didn't even ask for. Archons, you weren't even asking for his attention. He acted like you were close acquaintances, or friends even, while you barely met him once – and not even properly. Heizou wasn't always a pain in the ass, sometimes he just reached out to simply talk, but it still struck you the wrong way. He was what most people would describe as easy-going, but you found it plain annoying. 

You wanted to focus on the case at hand. Shikanoin Heizou was a byproduct you hadn't bargained for. Were the circumstances any different, you probably wouldn't have disliked him all that much, but it was as it was and you wanted nothing to do with him.

Then why was he so adamant on talking to you?

Was it simply because you two were on the same case? Usually detectives who worked together kept things professional and free of distractions and hardly ever made friends as they were solving a case, but you were quick to find out that Heizou followed his own plan all the time. Who knew, maybe this was him trying to be friends with you – something you weren't up for.

Or was it because he knew how much he managed to annoy you, and was he doing it on purpose merely for his own entertainment? He didn't really seem like that type, but there was still a possibility of it being true.

Whatever his reason was, he always managed to find you in the hallways of the Tenryou Commission's headquarters, even when you were on your way to the second meeting. 

     "We can go there together, if you want?" he asked, and you replied with just an incoherent huff. You did not want to, but he took your answer as a yes. 

After that, he simply followed you to the room where the meeting was being held. He was walking next to you now, and you tried your best not to focus on how handsome the guy actually was. He wasn't all that bad as long as he kept silent, you decided. 

Unfortunately, he never did for long.

     "So I overheard something interesting yesterday," he began as you rounded another corner on your way to the meeting. "Is it true that you're the one who guided us towards Dragonspine?" 

How did he even find out? He wasn't on the case when you caused the breakthrough that led you to the icy mountain, and details such as that were usually kept quiet. And what more, what did it even matter?

     "Yeah, that was me," you admitted with aversion. 

     "I hope you weren't wrong," he simply said.

A frown rested on your features as you turned to look at him. What kind of bullshit was it that came out of his mouth? You triple-checked all the facts and findings and it was so obvious; everything pointed towards Dragonspine, there was no doubt. All the detectives who gave their second opinion agreed, and now someone who wasn't even involved dared to question you? 

     "Are you underestimating me?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at the detective next to you. 

The male replied to your question with another one.

     "What if I am?" 

For once it wasn't a charming smile that adorned his lips. He was dead serious, his green eyes searching yours almost in a challenging way. Archons, this guy was really getting on your nerves. Don't punch him, Y/N,  don't punch him, you told yourself, exhaling deeply.

Then Heizou's look softened a little, and he shrugged.

     "I usually only rely on myself when solving cases."

You looked at him in confusion. Things weren't adding up here. You might have been a detective, but this guy was a mystery you had yet to solve. 

     "Then why in Celestia's name did you join a cooperative operation?" you asked, puzzled. 

The cherry-haired male seemed to think for a moment, before he once more shrugged his shoulders.

     "I told you before, this case seemed interesting." 

This guy didn't make sense to you at all, and it annoyed you to no end. You really tried to understand where he was coming from – though you had no idea why you tried so hard, you didn't even care about him – but you truly didn't get him. At first glance he seemed to be not at all complicated, but the longer your gaze rested upon him, the more you realized there was more about him.

Fortunately you had reached your destination. You were out of things to say and the silence that started between you felt awkward. You escaped by entering the meeting room and quickly took a seat. Not much to your surprise, Heizou sat down relatively close to you, but he didn't speak up and you were relieved.

The meeting went by rather smoothly. This time, only those who were directly involved with the case were present. Most of them had already worked on the case before the massive breakthrough and Heizou was one of the few new faces. 

     "I would like to start our second meeting by expressing my genuine gratitude towards you," the old man in front of the room started, picking up a stack of paper. "We have some of our nation's best detectives gathered here, and several of you dropped their previous case in order to assist us with this dire search. As much as that means to us, it also highlights the sheer importance of this case." 

The rest of the talk actually wasn't much. The old man mostly went over the history of the case, which was nothing new since you've been on the case since the very beginning. It seemed that this meeting was mostly for the newcomers, such as Heizou – who appeared to be listening intently for once. Still, you made sure to listen closely and took notes diligently. Your excitement was still there; you truly couldn't wait to solve this.

     "As I mentioned in our first meeting, we will work in teams as soon as we arrive on Dragonspine," the Doushin spoke, and suddenly you were all ears. 

Your eyes quickly went over all the detectives present, making mental notes on who you did and didn't want to be paired up with. As soon as your eyes landed on Shikanoin Heizou, a weird feeling bloomed in the pit of your stomach. You didn't understand what it meant, but you guessed you were simply anxious to end up in a team with him. You definitely did not want that.

The man in front of the room started calling names to announce the set teams. Your name didn't fall off his lips for quite some time, and more and more detectives were teamed up. Much to your horror, Heizou's name also wasn't called, and your heart was beating nervously as seconds passed by slowly. Six others left, four, two… This wasn't good. 

     "Heizou and Y/N, you are the last team for this expedition, and you two will function as the lead detectives for…"

Your nightmare came true. You felt everything around you crumbling down as you stared at the cherry-haired male in horror. Really? He was your assigned partner? Out of everyone who was on this case? Was fate really that cruel? You nearly groaned out loud, pressing your lips in a thin line. The excitement you felt towards this case went down the drain completely. You were stuck with him and you hated it. 

You refused to look at him, and for what remained of the meeting you didn't acknowledge him at all. It all went by in a blur, your notepad was untouched once again – you hated how it always seemed to work out that way ever since Heizou got involved. He distracted you, he made you act out of character, and you truly wondered why he had such an influence on you. It was unfair; you disliked him, yet it seemed that fate wanted the two of you to be involved without escape.

It took a lot of effort to sit through the last part of the meeting, but as the Doushin spoke his final words you patiently waited for everyone to leave the room and walked up to the front.

     "Can I request to switch partners?" you asked, your voice almost sounding like a plea. "I'm sure it will benefit my results if I could work with someone else."

That wasn't even a lie.

     "You two are our top detectives, we need you to work as a team for optimal results," the old man replied, shaking his head. "I can't have you switch partners. Is there a problem?" 

Your stomach dropped. Was he for real? 

     "No, sir," you forced out.

With gritted teeth, you accepted your fate and left the room. Outside you ran into the person you wanted to see the least, and you mentally cursed him as you made your way to walk past him.

     "You wanted to switch partners?" the male asked, pressing a hand to his chest exaggeratedly. "Ouch, that hurts."

Despite his act, you could see a hint of real pain on his features, and you felt a pang of guilt. Maybe it was unfair for him to let a personal matter get in the way of business, you realized. As you thought about it, he didn't necessarily do anything wrong to you, did he? He just had a knack for pissing you off, but you were sure it wasn't on purpose. 

     "It's whatever," you murmured, brushing past him. "Let's not be in each other's way and solve this case to our best abilities." 

You realized it was hypocritical to blame him for not taking anything seriously when you also let your irritation towards him get in the way of your detective work. You both had to step up your game and deliver your best performance. 

If you had to be nicer to him in order to achieve that, then so be it. It was time to stop being so petty. After all, you could do nothing but accept the situation, so you better make the most of it. 

                    ✧✧✧

Finally the day was there. You arrived in Mondstadt yesterday, spending a night in a camp near the icy mountain that stood tall and threatening. Today you would go up the mountain and scourge the area for clues that would hopefully lead to the main suspect. You felt thrilled, spurred on by the chilly air that blew over the barren wildlands at the foot of the mountain. 

The entire team was getting ready, donning themselves in winter coats, scarfs, gloves, and sturdy boots stuffed with fluffy wool. You were already wrapped in warmth and ready to go, but you had to wait until everyone was ready to depart. For safety reasons, they said, which didn't make a lot of sense to you since everyone would scatter on the mountain anyway. l

You tried to mentally prepare yourself, to clear your mind and get ready for a tough investigation. It wouldn't be easy to find clues under such difficult circumstances as they were on Dragonspine, and you hoped the experience as a detective you had built up in Inazuma was enough to help you here. Preparing yourself proved to be a little difficult, now that you found out that Shikanoin Heizou looked pretty cute in a cozy winter coat. You decided not to glance in his direction too much, for thoughts like those weren't welcome in your mind. Not now, not ever. 

But he was still adamant on getting your attention, despite the rough encounter in the hallway after the second meeting – which also happened to be your last interaction before you departed to Mondstadt. 

He seemed unfazed when he stepped in front of you, hoisting a heavy-looking backpack with camping equipment on his back, but you had gotten quite good at reading people and you could see the aversion in his green eyes. 

     "Are you good to go?" he asked.

He was hesitant to talk to you, you could tell that much. You felt a pang of guilt. Maybe Heizou had a talent of annoying the shit out of you, you still had been too harsh on him. You two had to work together now, so it was better if you accepted him as he was. The upcoming days would be important, and messing up wasn't an option. 

     "I am," you replied. "You?" 

     "As ready as I'll ever be," Heizou said, offering you a stupidly charming smile. "I'm psyched, I can't wait to solve this case." 

     "Me neither," you stated.

You listened together as the group went over the final details. Once again it was emphasized how important it was to stick together at all cost, and you weren't looking forward to being stuck with Heizou all the time but you knew there was no way out. Maybe it would actually work out, two top detectives working together despite one disliking the other. You just had to stay professional and not let your pettiness get in the way of your investigation. 

It didn't take long for everyone to finish preparing for this particularly cold investigation, and soon everyone was good to go. Nervousness buzzed in the air, and the tension was palpable. Not only was this case already pretty dangerous on its own, since the suspect wasn't exactly a nice guy, the circumstances on Dragonspine would make it far worse. The inhospitable mountain was treacherous, with many dangers lurking beneath the alluring decor of shimmering snow and ice. 

You glanced at the top of the mountain and swallowed. The top wasn't even visible, hidden from view by thick whirls of clouds. It was so high, and you would have to climb up there if you didn't want to miss a single clue.

     "Does the mountain intimidate you?" Heizou asked, following your restless gaze. 

What is it to you, you almost answered, but you didn't say it out loud. Your inner thoughts had yet to get used to the idea of being nicer to the prodigy detective. You flashed the male a troubled look instead and answered honestly.

     "It does," you admitted. "Is it obvious?" 

 ��   "To me it is," the cherry-haired replied. "It's okay, though. I'm a bit nervous to go up there too. But hey, you're not alone, I'm with you."

That's part of the problem, you bitterly thought, but you didn't quite believe in those words, as if they spoke of a truth that was no longer relevant. He offered you a grin and you looked at him in awe. Why was he so nice to you? And why weren't you repulsed by it? 

     "Yeah," you muttered dismissively. 

And then it was time to leave the safety of the camp. Time to venture deeper into the merciless cold. You tightened your scarf and followed the group as they moved towards the mountain. Everyone was silent, and the only sound that resonated was the sound of boots stomping over the crisp snow. You were solely focused on your surroundings, both to find clues as well as to memorize the path you took through the frostbitten landscape. Heizou seemed to do the same, his eyes scanning the wildlands that surrounded you eagerly. 

It was beautiful, as if you entered the world of a true fairytale. Solemn pines stood tall, thick layers of snow covering the branches and the underbrush below. Brave winter flowers bloomed here and there, their meek colors peeking through the carpet of pure white reluctantly. The sky was gray and motionless, the sun invisible, and only the flurry of snowflakes that fluttered down brought some life to the silence of Mother Nature. The wind was icy, nipping at the few spots of skin that remained exposed teasingly. It was so cold, and you started to understand why not everyone dared to set foot on the mountain. Dragonspine was merciless as it greeted adventurers with its icy beauty. 

After what felt like hours of walking, you reached the central camp that was set up for the team of detectives. From this point, the various teams would spread over the mountain and search for evidence. You had been excited beforehand, but your motivation to solve this case had diminished rapidly. It was so cold, it felt like a snowstorm had the landscape in its grip, the chilly win tugging on your hair and biting at your cheeks. You were exhausted, and wanted nothing but to flop down onto something that was remotely comfortable.

     "I want to set up our camp a little higher," Heizou stated suddenly, pointing at the map he showed you. "Looks like there's already a small camp here, and my intuition tells me that we might find something interesting here."

You looked at him incredulously. Was he for real? He wanted to travel up the mountain even further? Away from the central camp? You didn't like it one bit, but you knew to never take a detective's intuition in doubt. Hesitantly, you agreed and followed your companion as he strayed away from the others. At least someone was still motivated to solve this, you thought. 

You had no idea how long it took to reach the camp the cherry-haired detective mentioned, but if you were exhausted before, you really felt like you were about to collapse any minute. Though he had persevered bravely until now, Heizou didn't look any better. 

He was obviously as tired as you were, his eyes dull and his movements a bit sluggish. There was a thin layer of snow resting on his shoulders and hood, and where the wind had bitten his exposed skin, it was bright red. His breaths came out labored, and they escaped in tiny clouds that whirled up higher and higher until they dispersed.

     "Whew, we're here," he remarked, laughing tiredly. 

     "I hope you're happy now," you murmured. Your attempts to be nicer to him were forgotten, and you were kind of salty at him now that he made you walk so much. 

     "Let's take it easy for now," the male suggested, ignoring your comment. "You set up the camp and I'll look around to see if I can find anything that indicates our suspect might be near." 

Oh right, the suspect. The guy who was labeled as dangerous, not afraid to use violence. You suddenly realized that you were on the same mountain as exactly that man, and the thought made you shudder. You had seen the trial of misery he left behind, you knew what he was capable of. It wasn't pretty. You were dealing with a wanted criminal here, who would go through great lengths to escape the authorities. 

     "You're scared," Heizou pointed out. There was nothing mocking about his tone, he was simply stating an observation he made. 

     "Well, this man is the real deal, you know," you sighed. "And we're in his vicinity, I can feel it." 

     "Criminals who don't want to get caught usually don't attack first," the male reassured you. "But I'll keep watch tonight, and if he tries something funny, I have a Vision. I'll protect us." 

You didn't know how he achieved it, but his words made you feel safe. Maybe he was annoying at times, but Shikanoin Heizou was slowly proving himself to be a reliable companion out here on the icy mountain.

     "You're right," you answered, and for the first time you offered him a smile. "Go ahead then, I'll set up the camp. Let me know if you find something." 

He looked genuinely surprised, but then he gladly reciprocated the smile before both of you got to work. You grabbed Heizou's backpack, and couldn't help the groan that escaped your lips. It was super heavy. You suddenly felt bad for letting him carry it all the way, and mentally promised him that you would take it on the way back. 

Setting up a camp wasn't all that hard. The only thing that made it a bit challenging was your tiredness, but all with all you managed to do it quite quickly. Most of it was thanks to the permanent tents that stood here and there, free to use for adventurers – and now detectives. You only had to cover the tent a bit more and put down your sleeping bags onto the bed of straw. 

     "There's nothing to see," Heizou stated after reuniting with you, right when you were trying to start a little campfire. 

     "So your intuition was wrong?" you asked lightly, and you couldn't help the slight teasing tone in your voice. 

     "I'm too tired for that right now," the detective complained, squatting down next to you. "I really hope I won't accidentally fall asleep while keeping watch." 

     "You said it's safe. I trust you, so you can go to sleep if you want," you simply said. "Say, why don't you have a pyro Vision? That would be so useful right now." 

     "Hey, nothing wrong with anemo," the male countered, feigning offense. "You just don't know how to start a fire. Here, allow me." 

Soon, a cozy fire sat in front of you. You relished in the warmth that radiated off of it, and you closed your eyes in relief. Finally your long day was over. Finally you could rest. The crackling of the sparks that flew up high cast a soothing sound through the eerie silence, and for a moment it felt like an ordinary camping trip instead of a dangerous mission. You sat like that for a while, listening to Heizou as he told you about peculiar cases he had worked on in the past. Some of his stories were downright funny and absurd and you found yourself laughing out loud more than once.

Camping with Heizou wasn't all that bad, you decided.

     "Have you ever heard of the case of the vengeful spirit of Dragonspine? It all happened on a dark, snowy night," he spoke, lowering his voice. 

A vengeful spirit? You shuddered at the thought. Why did he suddenly switch to scary stories? You had felt so cozy while listening to everything he told you and now you suddenly felt goosebumps running over your skin.

     "No thanks, I'll pass," you huffed, shrugging off your boots and getting into your sleeping bag. "If you're going to start telling ghost stories, it's time for me to sleep. Goodnight."

Heizou laughed, bright and melodic. 

     "Goodnight, Y/N."

You had expected to feel scared as you tried to sleep. After all, you were out in the open in the barren lands on an unknown mountain that harbored many dangers and hazards. Yet, the feeling of anxiety wasn't there at all. You were a bit restless, probably too tired to fall asleep properly, but that was all. It was because of the cherry-haired male, you realized. He was watching over you, making sure harm would stay away. 

Maybe you finally started to warm up to him. 

                    ✧✧✧

Dragonspine was truly beautiful in the meek morning sunshine. The faint rays of light that peeked through the thick pack of gray clouds bathed the icy landscape in a faint glow, and the sunkissed snow glittered prettily. The weak didn't do much to bring warmth to the cold air but it was still very welcome to add a bit of life to the barren surroundings. 

Everything around you seemed to be covered in at least a thin layer of snow, and the snowflakes that fluttered down from the sky above brought forth even more of the fresh white that fell upon everything in its wake. It was making it hard – or nearly impossible – to find anything related to the man you were looking for. Every trace that was left behind ended up covered by snow in the blink of an eye, and there wasn't much left to find. 

You sat squatted down at a small abandoned camp near the one you slept in, trying to find anything that hinted at recent use, but it wasn't much to your surprise that you found nothing. It had been going on like that all morning, and you slowly started to grow frustrated. 

Heizou, who was searching a little distance away from you, got up and cursed under his breath. He pulled off his hood, raking a gloved hand through his cherry hair with a groan. 

     "The snow is covering up literally everything," he lamented, walking over to you. "I hate to admit it, but the suspect has the advantage now." 

     "Are you for once having trouble finding anything?" you joked lightly, partly to cope with your own feeling of hopelessness. 

     "Very funny," Heizou deadpanned, giving you a pointed look. "I never struggle with my investigation, but this mountain is truly giving me a hard time."  

There it was again, the prodigy detective being full of himself. You wanted to heave out a sigh but kept yourself from actually doing so. It was simply how he was, and you shouldn't attack him for that – and on top of that, you totally understood his frustration. 

     "Do you think we should take a little break?" you suggested, but the other detective resolutely shook his head. 

     "I don't see how that will benefit us," he reasoned. "I have this nagging feeling that something is going to happen and I don't want to rest until I figure it out." 

You nodded in understanding. Once a detective's intuition kicked in, they refused to take a break, which made perfect sense; you couldn't simply ignore your gut feeling, especially when it was so often right. One of the things you had learned about Heizou before you actually met him was how he was known for his keen intuition, so of course he trusted it blindly. Your intuition, however, was suspiciously quiet, so you got up and dusted the thin layers of snow off your coat.

     "I get it," you replied, straightening your form. "I hope you don't mind but I'm gonna take a break." 

     "Be careful," Heizou warned. "I don't trust this." 

There was a frown on his features as he glanced around and you felt a tinge of anxiety in your stomach. He was awfully serious as his eyes nervously skimmed over his surroundings. Something was off, and it was as if your own gut feeling finally caught up. 

     "Okay, maybe I'll just stay close to you," you said, your voice small. There was a shift in the atmosphere, it was palpable and it put you on edge. 

What exactly happened? Last time you checked you were simply bummed because the snow covered up all the possible traces that you needed to get closer to your suspect, and suddenly anxiety had started to stir in the pit of your stomach. Heizou had decided he didn't trust it, and his nervousness was contagious. 

Wasn't it funny? You went from disliking the male to fully trusting his intuition, and all in the span of the less-than-24 hours you spent on this mountain.

     "I like that a lot better," the cherry-haired male muttered. "Let's go back to our camp. Maybe I can use a little break after all, to think this over." 

You felt a little relieved, now that he agreed on taking a break with you. All the talking about something that was supposedly about to happen had creeped you out and you felt too nervous to stay behind on your own. They had told you how dangerous it was, they repeated it multiple times, but it was as if you only now realized the weight of those words. This mountain was not to be trusted, nor was the man you were after.

     "Right," you agreed, and you followed right behind the detective as he trudged through the snow.

You could see he had a lot on his mind; he even forgot to glance around to keep an eye on his surroundings. You knew it all too well, having an ominous feeling in the pit of your stomach, an omen that foretold that something was about to happen. It was often right, but never was it clear what would happen. Heizou was anxious, but he fell into the trap and got caught up in his own thoughts instead of keeping his mind clear. 

But your mind was also clouded, and the sudden downfall of snowflakes obscured your sight. You didn't see much at all, and you kept your eyes focused on Heizou's back as you followed him silently. It wasn't much of a walk to get back to the camp, but with the thick layer of snow covering the ground it felt like a whole hike.

Suddenly you lost your footing, the sole of your boot slipping away over the slippery ice hidden underneath the layer of snow. Your surroundings spun as you fell to the ground, and you shrieked when a sharp pain shot through your ankle. You collided with the ground with a force that knocked the wind out of your lungs and you gasped for air frantically, tears pricking in your eyes.

Heizou was next to you within a heartbeat, falling to his knees to check up on you without a second thought. 

     "Y/N, are you alright?" he hurriedly asked, worry etched onto his features. 

You groaned in misery as your hands clasped around your ankle, but it did little to nothing to soothe the pain. When you finally managed to breathe properly again you still struggled to speak up because it hurt so damn much. So you just shook your head, gritting your teeth to keep yourself from moaning in pain. 

Heizou cursed under his breath, and for a moment he looked utterly helpless as he witnessed you writhe in pain. But he seemed to recollect himself as he leaned over you, gently slipping his arms underneath your knees and shoulders. You stiffened, gazing at the star detective with wide eyes. Even now, with bolts of hot pain shooting through your leg and foot, the crimson that dusted your cheeks was inevitable. He picked you up bridal-style with surprisingly much ease and it really amazed you how strong the male was – despite looking quite frail, not gonna lie. 

     "I hope you don't mind, Y/N," he apologized, offering you an awkward smile. "I need to get you back to our camp to check your ankle properly." 

     "N-No, go ahead," you replied, and you couldn't bear to look him in the eyes any longer. Not when it was so obvious how utterly flushed both of you were. 

Your heart was beating rapidly, but you blamed it on the pain that surged through your ankle and the shock that came with suddenly falling. It surely had nothing to do with the fact that a stupidly pretty detective was carrying you through the fairytale-like landscape, his green eyes never leaving your face. Every time your face contorted in pain, he frowned – it seemed that he was really worried about you, and it made you feel bad for being so quick to judge him at first. 

Once he safely brought you to your shared camp, he lowered you onto his sleeping bag as gently as he could.

It didn't take long to find out that your ankle was sprained pretty badly, and you started to realize that the pain wouldn't just go away magically within a few minutes. No, this would take a good while to heal. To your horror, Heizou had pointed out that you most likely wouldn't be able to continue your investigation in your current shape, and your mood was grim.

     "This isn't good, Y/N," Heizou told you, his eyes flickering away from your ankle to meet yours. "We don't have the right supplies for this, so we have to go back to the central camp." 

     "You're probably right," you muttered in defeat. "But what about our investigation?"

     "I don't know about you, but my priorities shifted," the detective spoke resolutely. He moved around a little, so that his back was facing you. "We're leaving immediately, hop on."

You stared at the male's back incredulously. Was he for real? What happened to the awkward interactions? The aversion, the dismay you felt towards him, his urge to show his very best with every case he was working on? Did it all just go down the drain? Something had changed between the two of you, that wasn't hard to tell. But what exactly was it? You felt more opposed the longer you stared at his back, but at the same time the idea sounded kind of inviting. 

You gave in with a sigh, timidly placing your hands on his shoulders as he hoisted you further up his back. A little wobbly, he rose to his feet and rested his hands under your thighs to keep you in place as he started walking. You clung to his back for dear life, finding it incredibly hard to relax in your current position, but after a while you came to find it wasn't as bad as you thought. Actually, you were kind of comfortable up there, despite the pain you were currently in. Alright, you were blushing like a madman because you were so close to him but that was totally besides the point. After a while you even dared to rest your chin atop his shoulder as you went along with the cadence of his footsteps, and the detective didn't seem to mind. 

     "I knew something bad was going to happen," the cherry-haired male sighed as he carried you through the snow.

     "Shikanoin Heizou's intuition was proven right once more," you said, scrunching up your nose as his hair tickled your cheek.

     "I told you, I'm always right," Heizou replied, and you could hear the faint smirk in his voice. But then he added, "I just had no idea it would involve you getting hurt," and you could tell the grin had vanished again. 

It was quite a walk to get to the central camp, and you felt bad for Heizou, seeing how he had to carry you through the capricious snowy wildlands. You could tell he was getting tired, his pace slowed and his breathing got heavier, and he had to stop and hoist you up more and more often. Yeah, you felt really bad, but you knew you couldn't help it. You both simply had to endure it until you got to the camp. 

     "Alright, we're here," the detective announced after what felt like hours of walking, letting you down with a groan. 

He had placed you under the blue canvas covers of one of the tents, blissfully out of reach of the snowflakes that fluttered down from the gray cloudy sky. They pestered you the entire hike back to the camp, to a point where your cheeks were red and frostbitten. There was a campfire right in front of the open part of the tent, and you basked in the warmth that radiated off of it. Now all that brought you discomfort was the everlasting pain in your ankle, and you winced when you tried to change your position. 

     "Alright, wait here. Let me get the first-aid kit from that adventurer over there. I'll fix you up," the detective announced, straightening his composure and walking off.

As if I'm going anywhere, you bitterly thought. 

You were stuck in a damn camp on Dragonspine, not able to participate in this important investigation any longer. The Tenryou Commission had expected great things from you and your assigned partner, but you messed up and failed because of a stupid accident. 

There was no one inside the camp, aside from a few members of the Adventurer's Guild, Heizou, and you. All the other detectives were out, searching for clues that would lead them to the culprit. Your mood fell sour even more. You had been beyond excited to work on this case – Archons, you even accepted Shikanoin Heizou as your partner despite the irritation you used to feel towards him. But it was game over for you. 

     "You don't look very happy," the detective commented as he placed the first-aid kit next to you. "How are you feeling?"

     "No shit," you reacted, fighting the urge to roll your eyes and respond with a snarky remark. "I'm in pain and I can't continue our work. I feel like crap." 

Your tone was quite harsh, for the frustration and sheer disappointment you felt were overflowing. But Heizou didn't seem to mind. If anything, he gave you a look of understanding as he quietly got to work on your ankle. It was already red and swollen, throbbing painfully. As much of a relief as it was when the detective removed your boot, you now felt like crying and cursing every time his tentative fingertips put pressure on your skin as he wrapped a bandage around your injured foot. It was sprained badly, it seemed, and it didn't matter how gentle Heizou tried to be. 

     "At least it won't be hard to apply an ice pack to your ankle with all this snow around," the cherry-haired male remarked, his eyes skimming over the bandages to make sure everything was secure. 

     "Oh, right, let me just stick my ankle into the snow, I'm sure it will help," you replied bitterly. You knew he was only joking, but you weren't in the mood for that. 

     "Someone gets a little irritable," Heizou pointed out, setting the first-aid kit aside and flopping down next to you. His arm ghosted past yours – that's how close he was to you – and your heart skipped a beat. 

     "I just started warming up to you," you warned him, ignoring the blush that crept up your cheeks as you shot him a sharp look. "Don't become an annoying ass again." 

Everything you said came out a lot meaner than you intended and you felt a tinge of guilt. You felt pretty miserable but you knew it wasn't fair at all to take it out on the star detective, who had been nothing but nice to you ever since you arrived on Dragonspine. Even now, when there was an important case to solve, he took his time to take care of you instead. 

     "I'm sorry," you muttered. "I guess it's the pain and the disappointment that drive me a little crazy. I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

But Heizou only shot you a grin, a surprisingly smug one at that. His green eyes twinkled mischievously as he reached out, placing his gloved thumb under your chin.

     "Oh? You started warming up to me?" he lightly questioned you, lowering his voice. "I'm glad to hear that, Y/N."

You forgot all that had been on your mind previously. It went blank, no thoughts and head empty, and you were on the brink of freaking out because Heizou was looking at you like that, with his stupidly charming smile and his green eyes with those pretty moles underneath them – Archons, he was handsome. It was unfair how much of an effect he seemed to have on you, and you tried to calm your frantic heartbeat.

Mission impossible. 

Heizou chuckled, slowly withdrawing his finger and leaning back. You relaxed a little, but you were fully aware of the furious blush on your cheeks and you refused to look at him. What in Celestia's name was he doing? Barely a few days ago he was pissing you off so badly, but things changed and you were slowly being drawn in by his charms. Oh no, that wasn't part of the plan. 

     "Don't make me regret it," you huffed out, shifting your position while trying not to move your ankle. Your mind was still foggy; what just happened? 

You knew you dropped the disliking you had felt towards him, but you were supposed to simply tolerate him for your current investigation and nothing more than that. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was bad. You shouldn't be into him. 

It was cold on Dragonspine, but you felt warm on the inside when he smiled at you. Archons, this wasn't good. 

The two of you sat in silence for a good while. You glanced around, taking in as much of your beautiful surroundings as you could while trying to ignore the throbbing pain in your ankle. Heizou finally gave you a break and was currently immersed in some notes other detectives took while investigating. People arrived at the camp all day long, whether it was to stock up on food and water or to exchange notes with the other detectives, before they left again. You witnessed it all, full of bitterness since you could no longer partake. 

     "Heizou?" you called out.

     "Hm?" the detective vaguely replied, glancing up from his notes.

     "Shouldn't you…" you started, not quite sure how to phrase it. "Shouldn't you go up the mountain again? To continue investigating there?"

The cherry-haired male resolutely shook his head.

     "And leave you alone? No way. Didn't they say that assigned partners should stick together at all costs?" 

It didn't add up. You knew Heizou always preferred to work alone, to be able to operate without the risk of being held back by others, relying on no one but his own intuition. And here he was, refusing to get back to work because you were unable to participate. That was not like him at all. What was it that made him act so out of character? You didn't know him that well but you deemed him the type to ignore the dire call to stick together with much ease, yet here he was. 

     "Are you sure?" you asked meekly.

He simply nodded. 

Heizou stayed true to his words, and remained by your side until the very first trip back to Inazuma. You were surprised, to say the least. He took care of you, spent a lot of time talking to you and seemed quite content to do so, he barely left your side even when others came to him for help – you knew he didn't really like having to work together so this didn't surprise you all that much. 

On the boat back to Inazuma, as you swayed along with the cadence of the gentle waves, you came to a conclusion. You and Heizou had a rough start, he didn't necessarily show you his best side but he made up for that big time.

Shikanoin Heizou was a nice guy behind that mask of big ego he wore. You realized how much you got drawn to him during your time on Dragonspine, and there was no longer a point in denying it.

You had fallen for the Tenryou Commission's prodigy detective. 

               ✧✧✧

You still walked with a limp in your step as you strolled through the streets of Inazuma City, even though it was already a while ago that you got back from your expedition to the icy mountain, where it all happened. 

Said adventure didn't go well for you at all. You barely lasted a day on Dragonspine before an unfortunate accident put an end to your usual productivity and you spent the remaining days stuck in a camp – you didn't like it one bit and it was pleasant to be back home. 

It wasn't all for nothing, though. Next to you walked a certain cherry-haired detective, who hardly left your side ever since you got back. You didn't realize how close you had gotten over the time you spent on the mountain, but it got to a point where holding hands became a regular thing. The feeling of the palm of his hand against yours, the pads of his fingers ghosting over your knuckles, it all felt so much better without those padded gloves in the way. 

The downside was that you could blame the cold no longer for the crimson that crept up your cheeks more than once. Getting closer to Heizou also meant being the victim of his merciless flirting way more often, but you secretly didn't mind all that much. 

Wasn't it funny how things worked out? You thought back to how you disliked him, how you had even begged your superior to let you switch partners because you refused to work with him. Now you were grateful that he refused your plea. None of this would have happened, you wouldn't have this sweet and handsome – and incredibly flirty – detective next to you. 

You didn't like that thought at all. 

     "Does walking still hurt?" Heizou inquired, giving you a sideways glance. He didn't miss the way you were still limping, and his arm flew up to support you. 

     "A little," you truthfully replied. "But I'm fine." 

But your grimace gave you away immediately, and Heizou shook his head as he gently urged you towards a wooden bench along the path. You wouldn't admit it on your own accord, but you were more than happy to give your ankle a little break. 

     "I know the doctor said you can carefully put some weight on your ankle again, but that doesn't mean you can walk around like nothing ever happened," the star detective lightly scolded you. 

You smiled sheepishly. Sitting still and doing nothing wasn't something you were good at, and the past few weeks had been a real challenge to you. Even with the detective often coming over to your house, it was still bothersome and your own house had become your confinement. You were so glad to finally be out, and you could probably take on light detective jobs soon. 

     "I just can't help it," you sighed. "I'm so happy to be outside again. It feels like I've been locked up for ages."

     "You're adorable," Heizou commented, giving you a fond look. It seemed completely out of the blue, but that was a regular thing for the prodigy detective.

You averted your gaze, finding a recent newspaper next to you on the bench. You reached out to take it in your hands, seeing how it was a nice distraction from the effect the male's remarks had on you. The headline on the front page instantly caught your eye. 

Suspect found, arrested, and proven guilty in the Dragonspine case, it read, and you presented it to the cherry-haired male next to you.

     "It could've been you, Heizou," you said softly. "You could've been the one who caught him."

Heizou's green eyes scanned the news article quickly, a frown settling on his brows as he read the latest updates on the case he once worked on. It was quite a lengthy article and you weren't sure whether or not he was reading it, so you held up the newspaper awkwardly until he averted his gaze.

     "Took them long enough," he muttered, his eyes finding yours. "It could have been me, and believe me, I would have done it a lot faster. But it wasn't me and that's only because I stepped back to stay with you."

You pursed your lips. Even now, after being back in Inazuma for two weeks, you still felt really bad about that. You felt like you ruined it for him, no matter how many times he reassured you that it was fine.

     "I'm sorry," you sighed. 

The male's next move stilled your apology. He leaned towards you, gently taking the newspaper from your hands and putting it down onto the bench. Then he reached up, bringing his hands to cup your cheeks ever so gently. You froze, eyes widening as your heartbeat hit a way too high level. He was close, so close, and he looked at you so solemnly and you were mesmerized.

     "Y/N, listen," he spoke slowly – wait, were you just imagining things or were his cheeks dusted pink?"As I said before, I regret nothing. After all, I found something way more valuable than a wanted criminal." 

     "What is it?" you whispered, unable to look away. 

You were out on the streets of Inazuma, people were walking around and you were definitely being seen by everyone, but you hardly noticed and were simply too caught up in the moment. 

Then Heizou flashed you a cheeky grin, closed the last remaining distance between you two, and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. 

     "Love," he replied, smiling.

Then he let go of you, and he got up from the bench before walking away, a light skip in his step. You were far from okay, completely taken aback by what just happened. There was pure static in your mind, your heart set a frantic drum beat rhythm in your chest. Did Heizou really just kiss you? 

You knew something had been building up between the two of you, but you hadn't realized that it would lead to this. 

You were in no shape to chase him so you just sat there, utterly stupefied. It felt like you were afloat somewhere on cloud nine. Weeks ago you disliked the male, but it seemed that a lot had changed between the detective and you and it wasn't just you – he knew it too.

Stupid ankle, you thought. You wanted nothing but to follow after him immediately, but you stood no chance and you suspected that it was all part of his plan.

You truly couldn't wait to see him again. Who knew what would come from it?

#genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact shikanoin heizou #genshin impact heizou #shikanoin heizou imagine #shikanoin heizou imagines #shikanoin heizou #shikanoin heizou x y/n #shikanoin heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou x you #heizou x y/n #heizou x you #heizou x reader #heizou imagine #heizou imagines #heizou

[waywardsculs]

This place is a ℂ𝕀ℝℂ𝕌𝕊,

you just see the surface They cover shit under the rug

You can't see they're 𝔽𝔸𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾,

they'll never be naked

Just fill your drink with tonic gin,

this is the American dream

Hey yo what's up you filthy fucking sinners welcome to my little multimuse blog for Vivziepop's HAZBIN HOTEL and HELLUVA BOSS , featuring characters like VELVETTE , LILITH and FIZZAROLLI .

That said, I go by Ritsu, She/Her or They/Them, 30, Australian and just generally tryna chill. You can find my rules below.

AFFILIATED WITH: @bittcnneck , @hellshoard , @cxncrie , @ochtendster / @dageraadster , @sinfuldxgenerates ♥

Header & Promo Credit. || Pinned Credit. Dash Icon Credit. || Icon Template Credit. MDNI & 18+ Warning Credit. || Divider Credit.

IMPORTANT NOTE : if you ship adam with charlie, for both of us, it would be best you do not follow me if you don't intend to tag it. i'm sorry, but it makes me so vehemently uncomfortable that i just would prefer to keep my distance.

Keep the setting of the show in mind when looking to interact. Not all muses will be friendly or even remotely nice. Don't take it personally.

I'll be as canon divergent as I feel like. Let's face it, the second we take up writing a character we're making shit that ain't ever gonna be canon. Let's just have fun.

Muse ≠ Mun. Shouldn't have to say this, but I will anyway. Some muses might be assholes, but I try not to be. You're free to come talk to me any time, I'm usually just tired lmao.

I will not be following any pre-conceived relationships with OCs unless specifically discussed prior to interaction. For example, one of my OCs (Ambriel) has her main story tied to Velvette, being that she works for her, however this only applies to my Velvette. I will not push this on any others who write Velvette, and I expect the same in return.

I am very into shipping. Our muses should kiss. Bang. Fuck around. You know what it is. I'm a ship hoe and I don't care.

NSFW content may be present. I'll make sure it's tagged as #nsfw cw or #suggestive cw for easy blocking if you guys need it, but don't be surprised if it shows up from time to time. You shouldn't be, not with the nature of the show.

Mutuals only. Meaning you need to be following this blog and be followed in return from my main blog for us to count as mutuals. If you are using a hub blog, please have your blog(s) linked somewhere so I know who you are. Otherwise I block personals on sight.

Due to personal reasons, I will only ever touch on angst threads / content in general with people I feel I can trust immensely. Please do not push me for this. I may also post occasional ideas, but I will be very picky about who I explore these with.

Every ship is in its own verse and completely separate from one another. There will never be any form of infidelity occurring on this blog in any way. To expand on this, I also will not partake in any polyships or any situations where my muse has more than one romantic or sexual partner.

I never try to hide the fact that I do struggle with my mental health a lot, and I cannot stress enough that I need any and all of my partners to be understanding with it. I have been formally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of this is by no means an excuse in any way for anything, I simply hope this may help explain some of my behaviour at times.

I have a life away from Tumblr. I won't always be around to write replies or chat. That's how life is. I work, I have responsibilities, and those take priority.

I don't do passwords/pass phrases. If I follow you, it's safe to assume I've read your rules. I always do before following anyone.

I'm not here for drama. I know you see this everywhere, but I'll be real - I barely have the spoons to live lately. I just wanna vibe and enjoy a hobby, not take part in any bullshit. Leave me out of things unless it's absolutely imperative I know about something.

No art on this blog is mine unless I openly state otherwise. The usual. Let's leave it at that babes.

Ships I Will Not Write / Do Not Like

I will not be elaborating on why I dislike them or won't write them. These are simply things I've found I really don't like and, if possible, would prefer tagged so I can simply block them.

AdamsApple (Adam/Lucifer), Velmilla (Velvette/Carmilla), Charlastor/Radiobelle (Alastor/Charlie), Valentino/Angel Dust, Adam/Charlie, Valentino/Charlie

MY OTHER BLOGS @constellaris / @snowaliity / @viindicators

[tired-teacher-blog]

⚠️ // mentions of self-harm, suicide etc

I know this is a little weird maybe but it’s been an awful week, can you do a bnha boys + reacting and consoling their girlfriend who just relapse into self-harm (it can be in any form you feel most comfortable to) some of them could already know about her tendencies but others just found out idk, you can also do it only for one of them that’s fine for me. If you don’t feel like it please ignore this I know it’s a sensitive topic and I don’t wanna upset you never!! I love you my baby - 🏹

My sweet Bow Anon, I hope you're feeling better honey. Please come and talk to me whenever you feel the need to. I'm always here for you. In the meantime have this small gift. I love you so much.

This is a sensitive topic but I had fun working on it, it was strangely soothing so thank you for requesting it.

Title : The abyss

Characters : Shouto/ Shinsou/ Bakugo/ Taishiro/ fem reader

Genre : Angst/ fluff/ hurt and comfort

Trigger warning : Self harm!!!!

Please do not read if you're a minor

I cannot stress this enough but this is not for the faint of heart!! Please consider this before reading

Masterlist

Shouto :

It hurt, of course it did it always had, but that was the point right? Why else would you heat up the knife and press it to that annoying little unmarked spot in your inner thigh?

Your tears rolled down your cheeks as you sat down on the kitchen floor, but you were still not done yet. You didn't want it to fade quickly this time, you didn't deserve that luxury.

You looked up to the ceiling, biting the inside of your cheek so you wouldn't scream, when suddenly the burning stopped and an annoyingly soothing coolness replaced it.

You looked down to find your boyfriend kneeling in front of you, knife in one hand while gently placing the other over your burnt skin and carefully activating his quirk.

The look on his face said it all. His usual calm and relaxed expressions were taken over by a pained one.

You've been doing good for a while, that's what he thought, but in reality you had been stifling your pain and urges deep within yourself until you finally burst that evening.

When did he get home anyway? Apparently you had been absorbed into your "task" that you hadn't noticed anything else around you.

He threw the knife away and cupped your cheek, eyes searching yours for an answer.

But what answer was he expecting? What were you supposed to say?

You felt horrible, and that's the only thing you were certain of.

The look he had on his face tortured you. He was hurt, worried, scared even, and it's all because of you..

The look he had on his face reminded you of the first time he saw your self inflicted burn marks.

The look he had on his face brought back the memory of the promise you once made, the promise to never hurt yourself again, but at the time, you only gave him your word because you hated the look he had on his face. It's a full circle, and now you're back exactly where you didn't want to be.

_ "Shouto.."

_ "Are you okay? Let's take you to the hospital first, we'll talk later." He could finally find his words.

_ "No need, I'm fine." You didn't even deserve to be treated, that's what you kept thinking.

_ "Don't argue with me, we're going." It might've sounded like he was mad at you but truth be told, he was just worried. "Sweetheart, it'll be fine trust me." He knew he had to reassure you and pull you back to him because at that point you were lost..

Your tears suddenly stopped, and a gleam of hope appeared in your eyes instead.

You hugged him tightly and allowed him to carry you outside. This time you will take his hand and never let go again.

_ "I love you y/n, and we'll get through this together."

Shinsou :

You were doing it again. You knew it was bad, and you knew you could die but at that moment none of it mattered, not even him.

All you wanted was a minute of peace, a good night sleep, accomplishing a task without spiraling out of control.

You winced as the needle finally pricked your skin for the first time in months, and you regretted it as soon as it did.

_ "What am I doing?" Your trembling voice spoke to no one in particular before your tears followed suit.

Fortunately, not a drop of that intoxicating liquid left the syringe as you immediately pulled it out of you and threw it away.

You dropped to your knees sobbing and whimpering and calling his name, but he wasn't home yet, he didn't know what was happening.

You reached out a shaky hand and grabbed your phone dialing your boyfriend's number.

_ "Hi babe, I'm on my way home I'll be there in a couple of minutes." But you didn't answer, and all he could hear was sniffling and more whimpering.

_ "Stay with me y/n don't hang up the phone, I'm almost there." His tone changed as he knew instantly what was happening, he feared the worst since you almost lost your life last time.

You did as asked and held the phone to your ear, but still said nothing. Your tears kept flowing and you could tell he was rushing to get to you by the heavy breathing from his side.

It couldn't have taken him more than a few minutes before he burst through the door and straight to your side.

_ "Babe look at me! Do you recognize me? Show me your arm! Fuck I need to call an ambulance first!" He was panicking and the idea of possibly losing you fogged up his brain.

_ "No, I didn't do it.. I almost did.. but I stopped last second.. I'm sorry, I'm always causing trouble." You struggled to speak between your sobs but you're grateful you did, as your words cooled him down a little.

He turned around to where you had tossed the syringe earlier and sure enough, it was unused.

_ "Hey look at me love." He gently lifted your head up and kissed your cheek, "You're strong, you're amazing I mean look at you! You could've easily done it but you didn't, I'm proud of you so thank you for stopping."

You couldn't believe your ears, he wasn't mad or disappointed, he was actually pleased with you.

_ "But Hitoshi how can you say that? Look what I've almost done!"

_ "Almost, but you didn't and you want to know why? It's because deep down you don't want to go back to that road. That's why I'm proud of you, and that's why I'll walk hand in hand with you until you're completely over it."

You couldn't stop your tears after that, but it was fine, you were finally happy to know that you're on the right way.. and with the right person.

Bakugo :

_ "What's that?" He asked as he noticed the new bandaid on your wrist.

_ "Oh nothing! I just broke a glass yesterday and injured myself while cleaning the mess." You nervously responded and instinctively hid your hand behind your back.

But he wasn't stupid, he knew what it was, he'd seen it before.

Only.. he thought it was over already, he thought you were finally doing better.

He gently took your hand in his and traced the covered area before speaking:

_ "Tell me the truth, you promised you'd always tell me the truth."

You flinched realizing that lying would get you nowhere. He didn't deserve that from you, he was the one who pulled you out of the abyss the first time and you promised you'd always go back to him.

But there you were, relapsing and lying about it.

_ "It's useless.. I really tried but I'm too weak." Shame and regret washed over you and again, you felt worthless.

You braced yourself expecting him to get up and leave, or even get mad and start yelling at you. But what he did next left you wide eyed and speechless.

He lifted your wrist and gently kissed your covered wound, his lips lingered there for a minute and it looked like he was struggling to find the right words.

Tears started forming in your eyes and you blinked them away.

_ "Katsuki.." That was all you could utter without sobbing, and it was as if hearing his own name snapped him back to reality and he could finally speak again.

_ "Y/n, it's alright I'm not mad." He knew exactly what you were thinking. "Listen to me, you're stronger than you believe, it's fine to lose track sometimes, it happens to the best of us, but don't keep it in." His fingers caressed your cheeks as he gently wiped your tears away. "Trust me, talk to me I'll always listen. I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but you're not just hurting yourself, you're hurting me too, you're killing me." His words came out strangled as if he was trying to keep his own tears at bay. And he was right, those were the last words you wanted to hear but he had to say them and you needed to know what your actions were causing you both. You clung to him desperately and apologized repeatedly.

_ "Forgive me Katsuki I'm begging you, I'll do better and I'll never keep anything from you anymore.. please believe me." His words were a wake up call, and you wanted him to realize that you will never give up easily, that you'll try your best.

_ "I believe you honey, and I'll be right by your side the whole way." He pulled you impossibly close to himself and you were grateful to finally hear him sigh in relief.

It will be hard, that much is true, but you're not alone anymore.

Fatgum :

It's itchy, no matter how hard you try to ignore it, the itchiness never goes away.

You stood in front of your bathroom mirror watching your scarred arms and tracing them with your fingertips.

You tried to stop, truly, and for a little while you managed to control yourself, but it was hard to carry on. The itchiness is the worst, and all you wanted to do was make it go away.

You picked up the knife again and ran the cold metal along your arms, it felt good -horrible as that might sound- the anticipation of what was coming sent shivers down your spine. For a moment, just a single moment you get to feel better, to breathe freely before going back to hating yourself and regretting the whole thing. But you needed that moment, you craved it.

_ "Y/n baby is everything okay? You've been there for long." The all too familiar voice of your worried boyfriend came from the other side of the door.

He knows you, knows your struggles, your pain, and everything you do to chase them away. And that's why he keeps an eye on you at all times.

_ "I'm fine, I'll be out in a minute." You tried to sound cheerful as you pushed the blade within your skin.

_ "Please open the door for me, I'm begging you." His voice was calm, but he was desperate.

You never responded after that, you smiled watching the red liquid running down your arm and into the sink.

All of a sudden, the door flew open as your boyfriend easily broke in, snatching the knife from your trembling hand and throwing it away.

And before you could turn around to face him, he picked you up in his arms and ran out straight to your bedroom where he placed you gently on the bed and proceeded to treat your injury while murmuring reassuring words. Thankfully he got to you in time as it was just a shallow cut.

_ "It's gonna be okay, I got you." He was frightened, you could tell, and as much as he tried to hide it, he simply couldn't.

He never blamed you for any of it, never left your side or even thought to do it.

_ "I'm sorry Taishiro.. I tried to stop but.." you were cut off by your own strangled sobs.

_ "It's okay, you'll be okay I promise."

He finished treating you quickly and pulled you on his lap, allowing you to cry to your heart's content. He traced your back and kissed the top of your head repeatedly as he hoped you would feel safer.

_ "I love you, and I will never leave your side so please let me in, talk to me whenever you feel the urge to cut yourself. Don't be afraid, there is nothing we can't overcome together." He whispered against your temple and you nodded.

You will try your hardest, if not for yourself than at least for him. He deserves that much.

_ "I promise I will."

#bakugo katuski x reader #bakugo katsuki fluff #bakugo katsuki angst #bakugo katsuki x you #katsuki bakugo fanfiction #katsuki bakugo headcanons #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki shouto headcanons #shouto todoroki x y/n #shouto imagines #shouto fluff #shouto fanfic #hitoshi shinso fluff #hitoshi shinso x reader #hitoshi shinso imagine #hitoshi shinso headcanons #hitoshi shinsou x y/n #shinsou hitoshi fluff #fatgum fluff #fatgum x reader #fatgum x y/n #taishiro toyomitsu x reader #bnha fatgum #fatgum x you #my hero academia headcanons #boku no hero headcanons #my hero academia fluff #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero imagines #my hero academia fanfic

[somber-sapphic]

Of Misery and Murders

〖Notes: This is my CM series that I have over on my Ao3, but I figured that some of you over here might enjoy it as well!〗

〖Summary: Emily gets sick at the same time a deranged killer starts cutting up faces in Seattle Washington.〗

〖Word Count: 1.4k〗

〖Pairing: Jemily〗

〖WARNINGS: Guys. I cannot stress this enough, this is a casefic. I have created a serial killer and I am going into detail. Nothing will happen to our main characters, but there will be descriptions of blood/death. Please don't read if this is something that bothers you. It is purely plot related and (unrelated I suppose) this is an ongoing series.〗

☾Masterlists☽

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Emily ignored the fuzzy numbers on the thermometer’s screen and put the device away, resolving to take four Advil and take a double dose of non-drowsy cold medicine. She understood that the idea was a bad one, but she had to get through the day. There were mountains of paperwork and JJ had hinted at an incoming case that they would need all hands on deck. 

The brunette bundled herself in a thick sweater and wrapped a scarf around her neck before taking one last glance in the mirror. She had done her best to cover the high flush on her cheeks and blend out the dark circles, but there was no denying it: she looked awful. 

Emily almost fell asleep twice in the fifteen minutes it took for her to get to the BAU and she was starting to wonder if her decision to come to work had been a bad one. No, she was just doing what she needed to do. She was going to work, part of daily life. No damn cold would take her out of the game. She was a Prentiss and Prentiss’s don’t show weakness. 

She stumbled into the BAU five minutes late (she had somehow forgotten how to get there halfway through the drive) and ran straight into Garcia. The tech analyst squeaked as her files spilled onto the floor and she dropped to the ground, scurrying to pick them up. Emily tried to make herself do the same, but her body just wasn’t replying to her brain's commands. 

The brunette simply watched as her friend collected the papers, struggling to get her limbs to respond. When Penelope stood back up, her hair a bit out of place she frowned deeply and reached out to touch Emily’s cheek. The profiler managed to take a step away before the hand could connect and forced her political smile onto her lips. 

“Oh my love, you don’t look so good.” She said, her voice full of concern. 

“M’fine Pen. Didn’t get any sleep last night.” The brunette chuckled, trying to ignore the slight congestion littering her voice. Plus, she wasn’t lying. The persistent cough and aches in her bones had kept her up for most of the night. 

“Okay, but that really doesn’t explain the scarf, Em. We’re barely into October, it's not that cold yet.” She pressed, not willing to let her concern go. Garcia could tell that her friend wasn’t feeling well, not only was it obvious, but she also had sort of a sixth sense for telling what was wrong with the people she loved. 

“Drop it, Garcia.” She sighed, rubbing her forehead. It felt like there were fire ants crawling over her skin and she was regretting the extra cold medicine. Her mind was already fuzzy with fever and the medication wasn’t helping. 

The blonde took her shoulders, eyes flooded with worry. It was that look that told Emily that she wasn’t going to win this one, not with Penelope anyway. 

“I took DayQuil. It’s just a cold.” Emily murmured, rubbing her nose on her sleeve. She sniffled heavily and aimed a sneeze into her elbow which certainly didn’t help her case. The sneeze sounded sickly and didn’t give her any relief from the congestion, in fact, it just made it worse. 

“That is not just a cold. You need-”

“Garcia! We can’t start without you to present!” Hotch snapped, yelling across the bullpen. His glare was full of impatience, and he sounded as though he would rip them in two if they didn’t hurry. Emily started forward but leaned heavily against a desk, a wave of dizziness crashing over her. 

“You are so going home.” The blonde grumbled, taking Emily’s wrist. The exhausted woman didn’t protest, no one could see them anyway it didn’t matter. Plus, Garcia was keeping her balanced. 

Emily found herself being dragged into the round table room, the tech analyst only dropping her arm when she knew that they would be seen. Hotch was staring at his watch impatiently, but his expression turned to one of mild concern when he saw his shivering profiler. 

“Jeez Em, you look like shit.” Morgan commented, wrinkling his nose in a playful way. 

“Bite me.” she said in return, plopping down in a chair as far away from him as possible. She pulled the chair close to the table and wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to conserve heat. Reid gave her a sideways glance and scooched away, probably worried about the germs. Emily really couldn’t blame him; she was probably a germ fountain. 

“Prentiss, why are you here?” Hotch questioned, sounding genuinely appalled. He had a strict policy when it came to working while sick: you couldn’t. It put everyone involved in danger and he was sure to remind them all of that every flu season. His agents never listened to him, and it always turned into a lecture in which he could usually get them to leave. 

“I work here Hotch. You hired me. Well, you didn’t fire me.” she replied, as sarcastic as ever. Her boss raised his eyebrow, slightly astonished that she was being so argumentative. He sighed as he studied her appearance, taking in the excess makeup and slight shivering. 

“Go home, come back when you’ve been fever free for 24 hours. Garcia, present.” He dismissed her so quickly that Emily wasn’t quite sure that it had happened. The brunette stiffened at the comment, her resolve hardening. She would not go home over this shit, it was a head cold, not the plague. 

“No. There’s a case, it is my job to work cases and catch killers. I don’t see you bowing out over a sore throat and the sniffles.” She snapped back, leaning forward in challenge. The two stared at each other for about fifteen seconds, before Hotch backed off, rolling his eyes in frustration. 

“Fine. Penelope, go.” 

All Emily could really say about the case was that there was someone in Seattle Washington stealing eyeballs, cutting off ears and noses and dumping bodies in the ocean. She didn’t know what the deal was with facial features, but he seemed to hate them. 

“Dehumanizing his victims?” she asked, feeling the need to add her input. He definitely wouldn’t let her stay if she was useless to the team, she had to provide some sort of use. Reid nodded his agreement and gave her another little glance. 

“Or maybe a fetish. There are no other wounds on the body, just the face. Do they know what he poisoned them with?”

“I don’t think we can assume the killer was a male yet, there were no signs of sexual assault and poisoning is most typically done women. The disfigurement of the face could be linked to jealousy, it would go with the dehumanization aspect.” JJ added, cutting Garcia off before she could answer. 

“Sorry Pen, go ahead.” She apologized, quickly realizing what she had done. The perky blonde flashed her a smile and shook her head. 

“Not to worry, sugarplum. It seems that the Unsub is using Arsenic as their poison of choice. Any other questions, my dears?” Penelope was great at acting cheerful while showing them awful images. It was probably because she never faced the screen. 

“That’s all. Wheels up in thirty. Prentiss, stay back for a moment.” Hotch ordered, watching as they all hurried out. No one wanted to see the conversation between the two of them. 

Emily stood and faced him, arms crossed in front of her. She was standing in an almost fighting stance, trying to look slightly intimidating. It was hard to take her seriously with the runny nose and tired eyes. If Hotch was being honest with himself, he truly wanted to take her home and ensure that she rested. He truly cared about his team; their wellbeing was incredibly important to him. 

“Look Prentiss, I won’t make you stay behind, but only because we need all hands-on deck for this one. In any other situation, you would be suspended for this disobedience. Understand?” He asked, matching her stance. Part of her wanted to argue, but she really couldn’t think of a reason for it. It was just her stubborn streak and her fever clouded mind. 

“Understood. May I go sir?” She swiped her fist across her drippy nose and waited for the sharp nod that meant she could stumble back to her desk and lean for a few seconds while she pretended to rifle through her go-bag. 

She sagged against her desk and took a wheezy breath, wondering why the stupid medicine wasn’t working. The brunette let herself sit there for a few seconds then steeled herself against the dizziness, preparing for what was sure to be a long week. 

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#fever #sick fanfic #sick fanfiction #sickfic #fanfiction #sicknario #ill #illness #caretaking #fainting #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfction #criminal minds sickfic #criminal minds #emily prentiss #jj #jennifer jareau #cm fanfic #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #hurt/comfort #jemily #jemily fanfiction #jj x emily #jennifer jareau x emily prentiss #criminal minds case #casefic #major tw

[uniquevocashark]

Part 1 of something

Content warnings for:

Domestic abuse and cheating

Reader is married to Miranda and it sucks, alcina makes a terrible decision to seduce the reader.

I cannot stress enough that you should not read this if you are uncomfortable/averse to any warning or to dark fics in particular. This is not a happy story. Minors please do not interact

"You look better in the rubies." Miranda said, her hands on your neck.

You brought the emerald earring up, and turned your head slightly to see how it dangled. "These were a gift, I can't not wear them."

She huffed but you didn't say anything, keeping your face calm and picking up the ruby earrings. They were good ones, she was right about that, but you thought the emeralds were a nicer contrast to the blue gown she had insisted you wear. You looked at your tired face in the mirror and put the ruby earrings away.

The necklace was the one you always wore, because before you could even look at your collection Miranda was securing it around your throat. It was her family crest, which was also the logo for her company, wrought in silver and attached to a chain of gold.

You sighed through your nose and kept your voice falsely chipper, "My hands do work, Miranda."

"Don't be snappy."

"I am not being snappy," you replied calmly, adjusting the charm so it sat better on your neck, "I am remaining pleasant like you wanted."

She scowled and you let the silence hang. Despite her attitude, and yours really, she rained at your back, her hands where your neck met your shoulders. She fussed over your appearance, adjusting the chain, the way the earring sat, your hair. You stood at her insistence and she pulled on the dress until it sat exactly as she wanted it. Miranda was taller than you, so you didn't need to look her in the face when she did so.

Then you sat back down and idly fiddled with your lipstick.

"You don't need it." Miranda started, reaching over and plucking it from your hands. You grabbed her hand before she could leave.

"Is your current toy going to be here tonight?" Her hand stilled and you smiled flatly at her through the mirror.

She pulled herself free and stalked away.

You gripped the edge of the dresser tightly, your smile cracking into a frown that threatened to mist your eyes over. The door swung open. "Miranda."

You turned your head to look at her; her grip was white knuckled around the door handle and her body tense. She had crushed your lipstick in her hand and the colour dripped onto your shared floor. She looked at you, her gaze harsh but not at you. At least not entirely. "Yes, she will be."

You looked away and covered your mouth before a noise could escape you. "I don't want her in my bed."

She had seized the door when you could look up again, the wood creaking beneath her hand, "it is our bed."

"You've sullied it enough," you said and your voice wobbled, "I don't care that you don't love me but at least give me a little dignity, for fuck sake."

The door slammed and you jumped but Miranda was not gone when you looked up. She seized your waist in her clean hand and pushed you up onto your dresser; your jewellery bit into your ass and your dress embroidery twinkled in protest. Miranda kissed you roughly, all teeth until she got inside your mouth that yielded, desperate for any warmth, and then it was all tongue and tears that dribbled down your cheeks.

She pressed into you and you pulled away, gasping. Her hand squeezed your waist, "Don't you dare, ever say something like that to me again."

You panted, bewildered, and she pressed her body into yours. You couldn't help how your body twitched pleasurably at the contact, aching in all the ways you wished it wouldn't. You pressed your face into the mirror to get away but she chased you all the same. She always did.

You closed your eyes and braced yourself. "Alright."

Her hand clawed your hip and you knew you'd have bruises again that night, "I'm trying to make things bearable."

Your laugh was more a loud choke, "I'm locked up inside all day and you fuck every woman that graces your eyesight. Don't tell me that's supposed to be bearable."

Her hand moved to your neck and it went gentle, as it always did, "I am the only thing," she said, her face pressing into your neck, "The only thing keeping you off the street. No one will take you if you leave me, nor would anyone save me."

You could think of a person or two that would help her. "I know." You said instead.

Miranda breathed shakily and then she was crying too. You moved your hand, gently, and put it on her back. "I'm sorry," she said and you didn't believe it like the twenty other sorrys she'd given you that week alone, "This is just the way it is."

"I know, Miranda." You lied and held her gently while she composed herself.

...

Miranda dressed in black, as she always did. And you sat on her arm with a pleasant smile, sparkling from all directions, outfitted in the clear money of your wife's success. That was all you were really here for, at least until the strong alcohol was set free. Then you would retire, Miranda would keep her woman of the week with her, and then you would stay away until the early hours wondering what had gone so wrong in life that this is what you were left with.

But that was for later. For now you smiled and played your part and everyone pretended that you two were the happy couple you presented yourselves as. It didn't matter that Miranda had deflowered almost everyone in this room during your marriage; you never mentioned it and when they hinted you pretended you knew and it left the evening running smoothly.

For all her flaws, she always only danced with you at parties. It was her most hypocritical quality manifesting; she was free to do as she pleases, when she pleases, but you... weren't. She was allowed to get jealous, possessive even, and you were supposed to take it all with a smile when she nearly killed people over even daring to think about approaching you.

You've resigned yourself to a lonely night when Miranda disappears off after a dance, staying near the fireplace because it's freezing and the dress has a low décolleté.

"The model herself." Someone purrs and you turn to find an enormous woman behind you, her hand briefly touching your waist.

"I beg your pardon?"

She chuckled, "Forgive me. I was referring to the lovely oil painting above this fireplace."

You toyed with your hands, and brushed a finger against your blazing cheeks. Had you overheated without realising it? "Oh, yes. It was a gift from a very dear family friend."

She gestured at the painting with her glass, "The use of colour and type of brushstroke is really quite exquisite. It perfectly captures your likeness, though you are a bit sickly by the framing of the shading."

You blinked, a bit lost, "Yes, it was painted just before my wedding."

"You must be a good friend of Miranda's to warrant such a high honour."

Your mood dipped but you kept your smile on your face, "I see. I don't stand for mockery, Miss."

She blinked at you and cooked her head, "Alcina. Alcina Dimitrescu. How am I mocking you, Miss?"

"I'm Miranda's wife. This is our," you stressed the word with a light sigh, "house."

"Oh," her brows went up, "Forgive me, Madame. I've been abroad for years and last I heard Miranda was still a well known libertine."

"Thats still true," You murmured uncomfortably, when you heard a cork pop. "It seems the festivities have truly begun, Miss Dimitrescu."

Alcina smiled gently and leaned into you, her voice a pleasant whisper, "Indeed. Will you be staying?"

"No, I," you stopped and realised only now that you had both huddled closer in a corner, leaning against each other like conspirators. Your cheeks blazed again, and you put a hand on your cheek and looked away. "Um."

You only realised now that she was wearing a stark white dress, with black rose embroidery. It was unbelievably tight, and you could see every flex of her bicep as she brought her glass up for a swig. It felt so strange to acknowledge but from her laugh you realised you were staring.

"No?" She said mirthfully, and the veneer of confused noble was gone completely, "Are you not the Lady of the house?"

Alcina looked at your cheeks and you realised that the heat of them was not at all from the fire. "I don't drink." You answered weakly and found that she had drawn you in again.

"No? Miranda's orders I take it?"

You smarted at the word but didn't contradict her, "She prefers I don't, yes."

"She still sleeps around, doesn't she?"

Your throat closed and you whispered. "She does."

"What a fool," Alcina murmured, and her hand grazed yours, "To ignore such a beautiful devoted woman."

Miranda cleared her throat and you jumped and nearly hit the wall. Alcina grinned at the interruption, pulling away like a sleek squid through water.

"Miranda!" She greeted jovially, "Time has yet to touch you, I see."

"And you've aged gracefully as well, Alcina," She said tartly, "I see you've met my wife."

"Oh yes," she said, her arm coming around you and resting on your back, "Lovely woman. I'm surprised you snagged someone so sensible."

That seemed complimentary, according to the little flutter in your stomach. Miranda merely frowned and pulled you to her side. You were grateful, suddenly, for her familiar cold presence. Alcina's grin at the display made your cheeks blaze again, and your lower half, you realised, was aching.

"My wife should get to bed," Miranda was saying, her nails digging in, "She doesn't drink. An easily upset constitution."

"So I see," Alcina smirked at you, then lightly grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles, "Goodnight, my Lady."

"Yes," you stuttered, "and to you as well."

And then you were being whisked through the crowd.

...

"I can't believe you," Miranda had hissed into your ear, her body pressing yours into the bed, "You caused a scene!"

You found that her touch was much more pleasant than you were used to, "I did?"

She scoffed and go off of you and you sat up like you were dazed.

"We only talked." You said lightly.

"In the corner, out of view."

"Don't be silly, it was well within view of the other guests."

"And I should just believe you?"

"You were there!"

She sighed through her nose and stalked away. You noticed lipstick prints on the back of her collar and your sudden ache eased completely. You touched your own neck unbidden and she glared when she caught you. "We'll talk later." She growled and left.

For the next hour you knitted, listless. You could hear the celebration from downstairs, loud as a cannon, and were sure that the steps approaching the room from the hallway was Miranda and her toy.

It was not.

"This room is private." You said when Alcina entered the room.

"Oh," she said, her cheeks splotchy pink, "I thought this was the guest room."

"You lie better when sober."

She laughed lowly, and you realised suddenly that she was, in fact, not drunk. The patches of pink her lipstick. "I'm not drunk, dear."

That voice, again, made your cheeks heat. "How did you get in here?"

"It seemed rather odd to me that Miranda would lock you away." The key jangled in her hand, "Wouldn't you agree?"

"It doesn't matter." You replied focusing on your messy knitting.

You heard her scoff, "You're not serious are you?"

You didn't answer.

"She's in the other room," Alcina started, leaning her enormous frame against the wall, one arm above her head, "She wasn't even dressed when she walked in with her giggling little pet."

"I don't need details."

"So you know."

"As everyone else does, yes. What do you want?"

"I should be asking you." She purred. You stabbed yourself in the finger accidentally.

You held your finger up and she took that as a sign, approaching your bed and kneeling in front of you. She pulled out a handkerchief and covered your finger delicately. Her hands were much bigger than yours, and warm too, and you could feel the rough calluses through the thin handkerchief.

You breathed out loudly and Alcina smiled. She was much closer than she had been earlier, and far bolder. Your hands rested on your lap and she leaned in closer. She was so big, you thought idly, her head up to your shoulder even while kneeling and her lips were cherry red.

You leaned in slowly, unsure. And Alcina Dimitrescu unclipped your necklace and kissed you.

#ill find a name for this tomorrow #lady dimitrescu #mother miranda #mother miranda x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #tw abuse #abuse tw

[theconstantsidekick]

Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (5)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader (future)

Genre: Angsty with a hint of Fluff?

Summary: Fighting off the Winter Soldier and having a kind conversation with Bucky Barnes, Y/n didn’t think both of those things could happen all in one day. And yet…

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Past Trauma, Mentions of Torture, Mentions of Alcoholism, Suicidal Ideations.

a/n: if any of you have watched the show I'm referencing, you fucking hit me up, you hear me? YOU HIT ME UP!

Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (4) | Captain America: Civil War ft. Static (6) | Series Masterlist | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | The Avengers (ft. Static) | Captain America: The Winter Soldier (ft. Static) | Static Verse Masterlist

Y/n figures it out moments before the sirens are sounded.

After the verbal showdown with her brother and her boyfriend, she needed to blow off some steam.. Or well, just blow off some smoke. The cigarette was burning past the filter when the pieces clicked together, about why Sergeant Barnes was framed as the culprit of the attack.

But the loud sirens and the entire control room filled with agents rushing around meant she was a little too late.

As she enters, she takes a moment to spot Natasha and Tony making their way toward the exit.

“Please tell me you brought a suit,” Natasha says to Tony.

“Sure did,” Tony replies, buttoning his blazer and breaking into a jog alongside Nat. “It's a lovely Tom Ford, three-piece, two-button. I'm an active-duty non-combatant.”

“If you don’t have a suit, we gotta call in Y/n,” Nat states gravely.

“Don’t you think I know that?” Tony bites back.

“We cannot let her get anywhere near this,” Nat reminds him.

“Anywhere near what?” She asks casually, sneaking up behind them. 

“For fuck’s sake. You can’t sneak up on people like that under high-stress situations like these,” Tony scolds her.

She just chuckles in response, jogging along with them. 

“Y/n,” Nat tries but Y/n shuts her down.

“Come on! I’ll be fine.” She insists jovially.

Nat stops to fix her with one of her serious this-is-so-not-funny looks. 

“What?” Y/n asks petulantly.

“You know what,” Nat replies.

“We don’t have time to waste. So I’ll cut to the chase. I won’t lose control and do something crazy, okay?” 

But then it’s 10 minutes later and Barnes just threw her brother, her Tony across the fucking room and if there were ever any circumstance that would make Y/n extremely prone to violence, y’all have been reading this shit long enough to know, it’s this. “Yeah, Nat, remember what I said about the whole not losing control and going crazy thing?” She asks calmly, straightening up.

“Yea…” Natasha replies, apprehension clear in her tone.

“I lied.” She jumps over the railing from the floor above and lands right in front of Barnes. When she faces him, looks him in the eyes, she realises, this really isn’t Barnes at all. It’s her dearest, oldest friend.

“Soldat.”

There is a beat, a hint of a hint of recognition. And then he charges at her with her metal arm. But unlike all the times she had previously fought the Winter Soldier, this time, she is not afraid. 

He hurt Tony.

This time she is just fucking angry.

She dodges easily, by stepping out of the way.

He turns to land another blow, she sidesteps that too.

She smirks, “Sie sind eingerostet.” You’re rusty.

That seems to piss him off. He punches her straight in the gut, throwing her back.

Skidding onto her knees, she looks up, gut sore, eyes watering. She isn’t losing to him this time. Not again. Never again.

Standing up straight, she lets out a short breath and motions him to come at her. He takes the bait. Running up to her, he throws his metal arm aiming for a mean left hook but it clashes, letting out a loud clang.

The metal banging against metal rings out loud enough to halt the commotion around them. 

Well, that and the fact that Y/n just brandished a fucking sword out of fucking nothing. Yeah, shit like that usually catches attention, she reckons.

She hasn’t used the damn thing in… give or take two decades? And god! It feels damn fucking good. It’s exhilarating, to say the least. The dark metal of the sword shines pink as it reflects the light. It’s a soft glow, ever so delicate. But it still manages to bathe the Soldier’s pale metal hand in pink. It makes her smile.

The Soldier, however, doesn’t seem to find it even remotely charming.

His face twists in confusion. Only a beat passes before he strikes again.

She blocks again. 

Another beat.

They both assess each other. 

For the first time in all the thousands of times, they have faced off against each other, the Soldier seems confounded. 

But the moment doesn’t last for too long. Pushing himself back, he runs up to her, gaining momentum and attacking again.

Dodging out of the way, she circles around and counters on his right side.

His reaction is a second too late and she slashes him. It’s a small cut, a scratch at best. But it draws blood.

She smiles.

Losing his temper, he charges. He strikes, she blocks. He strikes again, she dodges easily, moving around to kick his legs, causing him to loose balance.

It’s a delicate dance, as most fights are. But this one’s different. It used to be a routine for her—fighting the Winter Soldier. Day in, day out, they fought. A dance of fists and limbs, gutwrenching and unending. But this is so fucking different.

For once, she’s not scared.

She doesn’t have to fight to survive, she doesn’t have to hide a part of herself as she does. She doesn’t have to worry about making it out alive. Her brother is right behind her. Natasha is too. Steve’s a few moments away. Though she doesn’t need them to win this time around, it’s fucking comforting knowing that there is no version of this fight that ends with her dead. And maybe that’s what she needed? Because for the first time in her life, she is kicking the Winter Soldier’s ass.

For every hit he lands, she gets him back two times over.

In all honesty, she feels fucking cocky.

She smiles.

Her sword is an inch away from his throat, and there is an eerie silence hanging around them.

“Sie können nicht mehr gewinnen.” You don’t get to win anymore.

But before she can strike the final blow, her arm is pulled away as she’s pushed out of the way. 

Sharon is on him in an instant, fighting with all her might the best she can. It’s not enough though. She’s a good fighter but you have to be better than good to take on the Winter Soldier.

Y/n raises her sword, ready to fight again but there’s a tug on her shoulder, pulling her back.

When she turns to look at the offender, “Barnes is still in there,” is all that Natasha says before she jumps in to help Sharon.

And fuck if that doesn’t hit where it hurts.

Barnes is still in there.

Barnes is still in there.

She forgot about him. 

She forgot about Bucky Barnes. 

In her rage and vengeance, she forgot about the man behind the mask. She made him the monster again, she forgot the man beneath, again. 

Fuck.

Unfortunately, the downside of having a heartbreaking epiphany (of the fact that you’re a shit person) during a goddamn superhero fight is that you don’t have the correct tools or the required time to deal with said epiphany. Because Barnes is already in motion, T’Challa hot on his trail and Natasha is gasping for breath, having been choked by a metal hand. 

It’s not until much later when she’s sitting in an abandoned warehouse with a semi-conscious Barnes coming to with his metallic arm clamped under a huge hunk of metal that she tries to come to terms with her murderous rage.

As Barnes mumbles himself awake, Sam calls Steve into the room.

“Steve,” Barnes mumbles.

“Which Bucky am I talking to?” Steve asks.

“Your mom’s name was Sarah,” he says before a painfully soft smile breaks onto his face. It reminds her of something but she can’t put her finger on it. It’s so gentle, it confuses her. The dichotomy of the rugged, broken warehouse and the reminiscing smile on his face almost breaks her. “You used to wear newspaper in your shoes.”

Steve smiles too then. He looks at her once, where she stands leaning against the wall on his right. “Can’t read that in a museum.”

“Just like that, we’re supposed to be cool?” Sam asks, frustrated. Which, yeah fair question.

“What did I do?” Barnes asks.

“Enough,” Steve tells him.

“Oh, God,” Barnes laments, anguish clear on every inch of his face. “I knew this would happen. Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words.”

“Who was he?” Steve asks.

“I don’t know.”

“People are dead,” Steve’s not pulling his punches. “The bombing, the setup. The doctor did all that just to get 10 minutes with you. I need you to do better than ‘I don’t know’.”

Barnes thinks for a second, “He wanted to know about Siberia,” he says, eyes flinting around in recollection but never too far, never to her. “Where I was kept,” a beat. “He wanted to know exactly where.”

“Why would he need to know that?” Steve inquires.

And then for the first time since he came to, Barnes looks at her. There is a hesitance in his look too. As if he’s afraid to even look at her—like he’s not supposed to. 

When his eyes fly away, looking down with shame, it clicks.

He’s afraid to mention it in front of her, ashamed even.

And fuck if that doesn’t hurt her worse. 

God, I suck, she thinks.

So she does him this little kindness. Stepping up, she replies, “Because he’s not the only Winter Soldier.”

Hesitantly Barnes tells them about the rest of the Soldiers, how they were trained, how they were made… and that story… She can’t really say why but it feels familiar somehow. She doesn’t have the time to assess that thought.

“Who were they?” Steve asks.

“Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in HYDRA history. Except—” his eyes flicker over to her once again.

“Except me,” she supplies for him, another act of kindness.

Nodding shyly, he continues. “And all that was before the serum.”

“They all turn out like you?” Sam asks him. His tone is a little too accusatory but again, she gets it.

“Worse.”

“The doctor,” Steve chimes in, “could he control them?”

“Enough.”

“Said he wanted to see an empire fall,” Steve remarks, addressing Sam.

“With these guys, he could do it,” Barnes informs them. “They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight, infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night. You’d never see them coming.”

Stepping up to Steve, Sam speaks in a hushed voice, “This would have been a lot easier a week ago.”

“If we call Tony—” Steve tries.

“No.” Sam cuts him off. “He won’t believe us.”

“He’ll believe her,” Steve counters, nodding at her.

Sam looks at her and relents. “Even if he did, who knows if the Accords would let him help.”

Steve looks at her then, there’s concern on his face. It’s almost sweet. The chaos around them just fades away when he looks at her like that—eyes all soft, hints of an annoyingly cute frown forming on his forehead. He looks so beautiful, always beautiful. 

“What do you think?” He asks, stepping up to her.

She takes a moment. She needs a lot more than that but a moment is all she can afford. Exhaling audibly she says, “I think there’s something more.” Her words make his frown prominent. “I think there’s something we’re missing.”

“Like what?” Sam asks.

“Like why now? I know the timing of the bombing seems… opportunistic, but it feels like there’s more to it somehow. There’s a huge piece of the puzzle that we’re missing and I think the answer lies somewhere in who the fuck that fake ass doctor was,” she tells them.

“You want to figure out who he is?” Sam offers.

She shakes her head from side to side, “Yeah but we can’t let him beat us to Siberia. We need to find those Soldiers before he does.”

“And if Tony tries to stop us?” Steve asks. 

“You’re on your own on that one.” She is not going to fight her brother. “I came because it was you and because—” she looks over at Barnes for a second before shaking her head. “Actually it doesn’t fucking matter why I came. If Tony’s on the other side, you’d be a bunch of dumbfucks to count on me.”

Steve, with his kindest blue eyes, just nods. He gets it. 

Tony is her person. That one person for whom she’d burn the world down. He was there for her when no one else was. There aren’t words to describe the devotion she has to him, she doesn’t think there ever will be.

Steve gets it.

And why wouldn’t he?

His person is the one who got them all into this mess. 

“We’re on our own,” Steve tells Sam.

But then Sam shrugs, “Maybe not. I know a guy.”

The three of them begin prepping. They make a few calls, and gather their resources, before Sam and Steve head out to grab something for them to eat and steal themselves a ride. 

With as much gentleness as he can muster, Steve asks her to watch over Barnes. And she agrees with a curt nod.

After taking a few moments to gather her courage, she walks back into the room. “So,” she begins as she brings herself to rest against the wall in front of him, “The red book, huh?”

The icebreaker seems to work as she intended.

Slowly looking up at her, he asks hesitantly, “You know about it?”

Instead of a reply, there is just silence. It’s so unexpected especially when matched with the look of shock she’s wearing that it makes Barnes frown.

“Fuck sorry,” she blurts out, shaking her head. “For a second there I completely forgot that you talk now.” When Barnes just looks at her with a flat face, she adds, “What? In half the century that I’ve ‘known’ you, you’ve spoken like 17 sentences—And I think just TWO of them were to me. I’m allowed to forget that you talk.” Barnes just rolls his eyes. She smiles then, “But yeah.” She shrugs jovially. “I read about it in some old files after Peggy got me out. They obviously didn’t use it on me…” She looks at him with a challenge in her eyes. “But you knew that.”

There is a beat of silence.

And then—

“I’m so—

“I’m sor—”

That shuts both of them up.

The silence seems palpable.

“You go ahead,” Barnes breaks it.

“I just—” She hesitates for a second. Gathering up her courage, she begins again, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

But apparently, that isn’t what the man wanted to hear. “What?” He throws back, shocked.

She shifts her weight from one foot to another. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.

“What for?” He scoffs almost as if the entire notion is completely stupid.

“For almost killing you—well not you, him but… You were in there, you always were and I just didn’t—I never…” She shakes her head, trying to shake away all the overthought thoughts from her head. “I shouldn’t have done that. Back at the base. I shouldn’t have gone as hard as I did.”

“I would’ve hurt a lot more people if you hadn’t,” he counters.

“Maybe,” she offers. “But I could’ve kept you busy without murdering you. Waited for Steve to get there. Knocked you unconscious—I don’t know. There were a million different options apart from straight-up murder. I shouldn’t have gone as hard as I did.”

“I deserved it.”

“I could’ve killed you,” she argues.

“I would’ve deserved that too,” he replies slowly, head hanging low, looking too small for a man as big as he is.

She understands the sentiment. She doesn’t agree with it, but she can relate to it. She has been exactly where he is. She wishes to expedite the processes for him… another small kindness.

She clicks her tongue. “I don’t agree.” His face contorts into something akin to disagreement, but before he can voice it, she adds, “Despite our… colorful past, I assure you, you do not deserve that.”

As expected, her words don’t carry the weight that is necessary to make a man as reverently known as James Bucky Barnes feel any less guilty.

So she tries again.

“You remember what I told you?” Her question makes him look up. She takes that as yes. “I’ll tell you again, just cause I feel like you need to hear it. We are not what they made us into, Sergeant. We are not monsters. The only way to prove them wrong is to be better.”

The James Barnes she had heard tall tales about seemed a relentlessly charming flirt, who was a little cocky but in that endearing kind of way which made you fall in love with him. But the James Barnes in front of her has this silence to him that could only be explained by years of trauma. He’s not cocky or flirty but she can still see the hints of an endearing man. So much so that when he speaks next, she wants to listen as keenly as possible.

With short, stiff movements while his hand stays stuck underneath the hunk of metal, he says in a low, unsure voice, “It might be true for you… But it doesn’t—I’m not… I haven’t done anything to be better. I haven’t even begun to make up for all the horrible things I did.” There is venom in his voice as he speaks. “I am still the monster they made me.” He looks at her, “You saw today who I am—WHAT I—”

“I’m gonna cut you off there Sarge.” She takes a step forward. “Do you really believe there is something you can do to make up for all the shit you did? Because newsflash partner, there really isn’t. There isn’t some grand equation where you save 4 people for every 1 person you killed.” She needs him to understand this, right here, right now. It’s fucking important. “There is no way to ‘make up’ for our sins, Sergeant. We did what we did. We cannot undo any of it. No matter how badly we want to.”

He looks absolutely lost as he asks, “So I shouldn’t even try?”

She relaxes again, “Now, when did I say that?”

“So, you’re saying I should try but expect to fail?” He asks, almost confounded.

Y/n smiles then, “Well, I’m not trying to say that either.” She’s met with scrunched-up brows and a scowl worthy of an award of some sort. She can’t help it, she lets out a chuckle. Taking a few steps closer, she sits down on the floor. Her knees are still up cause she refuses to ruin her beautiful oxfords, while she’s manspreading cause she likes it.

He stares at her as she tries to make herself comfortable in her (once) impeccable suit.

“You know what I love about the way the world changed throughout the years?” The question is purely rhetorical, so instead of waiting for what would obviously be an annoyed zinger, she continues, “I got to watch them develop technology, language, food, social constructs, yadda, yadda, yadda. But my favorite part, the fucking best part was Media. Watching people understand the power of the media they produce was so fucking fun.” She’s wearing a huge grin on her face. “And that—” she laughs a little, manically almost. “That led to some quality fucking television! I mean top-fucking-notch, alright?” 

He’s looking at her like she’s lost her mind.

“Now, why am I going on this random unrelated tangent, you ask.” 

“I didn’t,” he replies with a straight face, the cheeky bastard.

She waves him off. “Because it’s not unrelated at all. Back in the late nineties, early naughties, there was this show called ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’, which as the name suggests was about a teenage girl named Buffy—which yes, is a very peculiar name—who used to slay vampires which were like soul-less undead and unfeeling evil little dipshits. It was a great show. It was a spec-fucking-tacular show. Peak television and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

“But we aren’t talking about that today.” She shifts a little closer. “Buffy The Vampire Slayer had this spin-off show—which essentially is another show set in the same universe as the first, usually staring a side character from the original story as the main character in this one.” Waving her hands around, she continues, “Anyway, so Buffy The Vampire Slayer had a spin-off called Angel, which followed a dude named Angel—obviously—who used to be a vampire long before either of the shows started, and did like a bunch of crazy homicidal maniac shit but then got cursed with having his soul back.”

“That doesn’t sound like a curse,” Barnes interjects, almost shocking her.

“Doesn’t it though?” she counters. “After wreaking havoc, killing innocents, creating chaos everywhere you went, with no regard for the consequences—and doing so for like a century… you wake up the next day having to feel the guilt for all of it?” Cocking her brow she asks, “Is that not the worst punishment one could possibly get?”

Barnes’ eyes shy away.

“I thought you said this was relevant,” he contends half-heartedly.

She smiles again. “It is. Will you just give me a second?” When all he does is exhale audibly in patient annoyance, she continues, “So, as I was saying; Angel leaves the setting of the previous show and moves to L.A. where his show begins. Fights two or three bad guys, meets a few old friends, has a couple of revelations where he comes to realize that the only way to move forward is to help people, to be better. And so he decides to start an investigation agency to ‘help the helpless’.” He looks at her with a discernable look in his eyes.

“The reason I’m telling you all this is because, there comes a point in the show where someone like you, asks him why he does it. If he knows that his actions don’t matter, the greater scheme, the big picture. If there is no grand plan, no big win… If none of it changes because of what he does, then why do it? Why even try to be good? Why help people who if given the chance might not help him?” She smiles reminiscing. “And he says—and I remember it like it was yesterday cause that is how spectacular this show was—he says to the woman, ‘If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do… cause that’s all there is.’.

And there it is…

There is the moment. 

Not too long, not too short. 

Just a moment.

And then she says, “It’s a great fucking show… I mean it has 5 seasons, three of which are almost unwatchable but it’s still a great fucking show. And I do not say that lightly, I mean—it’s so simple yet poignant, right? Redemption isn’t something you do for a certain period and then you’re done. The show—and this is another reason why I say it is a fucking genius piece of television—but yeah, the show equates Angel’s search for redemption and struggles with being a vampire to alcoholism. His thirst for blood is quite similar to an alcoholic’s thirst for booze and sobriety is a cruel bitch. You don’t become sober by not drinking alcohol for a set number of days. It’s something you practice every single day. You wake up in the morning and choose to be sober till you go to bed. And then you wake up the next day to make that choice all over again.”

She exhales loudly. 

She’s been talking too fast.

Tony keeps telling her she talks too much about shows or films she likes.

“All that was just a long-winded way of saying that we cannot make up for what we did. But trying regardless of that? Now that—” she clicks her fingers, “That is what proves them wrong… it’s what makes us good people,” she tells him.

A hint of a smile glints across his face.

Then he asks, “Is that why you do this?”

With furrowed brows, she asks, “You mean this superhero shit?” When he nods, “God no! The hero gig is the most selfish thing I’ve ever done. I do it just for Tony, so there is someone to watch his back when he’s out there because I know for a fact the kid isn’t capable of doing it for himself.” She smiles at the thought of her brother. Shaking her head, she adds, “I—I’m a lawyer. That’s how I decided to help the helpless.” 

“It’s kind of funny I suppose.” Slowly she gets up, standing up on her feet. “If there were an actual scale I’d be a lot more fucked in trying to balance things than you are.” 

“Why would you say that?” He asks, confused. 

As if the answer isn’t fucking obvious. “You were violated, controlled into doing what you did. I on the other hand had a choice—fuck! I was probably the only person in that goddamn place who did!”

“A choice between what? Doing what they told you, or dying at my hands?” He counters, incredulous. His voice rising for the first time.

In the distance, she can hear Steve and Sam parking whatever car they had jacked.

“Just because it wasn’t a good choice, doesn’t mean it wasn’t a choice.”

He doesn’t understand. He can’t.

What he went through was beyond horrible. But it wasn’t like that for her. Every single step of the way, and every single time she chose the easy way out. She chose self-preservation over what was the right thing to do. She was selfish, dangerously so. 

Therefore it’s only fair that the price for her freedom should be higher.

How can he not see that?

His jaw clenches at her words, “You’re a hypocrite.”

As Sam and Steve make their way inside the warehouse, she puts her hands inside her pocket turning away from him, she smiles, “33 sentences in half a century, Sergeant.” She turns her head to look at him again, “You do not know me.”

And just like that, the unspoken truce they’d agreed upon has been violated.

When Sam and Steve enter the room, the tension is so palpable Sam asks cautiously, “I feel like we’re interrupting something. Should we step out?” 

“Nah, we’re done here.” With that, she turns around and walks out.

Read next part here. Find the series masterlist here. Find other Static Verse works here.

tag list: @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @roxannejblack @asimovethroughthisworld @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoriavholland @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888

tag list is open again. hit me up.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x fic #steve rogers imagine #captain america fanfic #captain america x y/n #captain america x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x stark reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader fluff #avenger reader #avenger x you #avengers au #avengers x you #avengers x y/n #avengers x stark!reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes angst #avengers fanfic #avengers fic #static verse #staticverse

[acacia-may]

Rogue Cheney (Fairy Tail) 🖤💘 please !

Hi! Thank you so much for your ask! I was so excited when I saw this ask because Rogue is one of my personal favorites and is just so wonderful and so incredibly underrated. (Also, I'm reading Twin Dragons of Sabertooth right now, so he has definitely been on my mind recently). I'll admit that I've never written about him before, however, so I'm a little nervous...😅 But I'm crossing my fingers that you'll like these headcanons, I've come up with for him.

I've put the angst headcanon below the cut because of the subject matter. Thank you so much again for the ask and for playing my game! 🥰

Questions are from this "Bye Bye Writer's Block" Ask Game

Rogue Cheney Headcanons

💘 -- Romance

Rogue's romantic devotion runs incredibly deep, and he would not hesitate to die for his beloved if the situation called for it. Despite how deeply and how ardently he loves, however, he often struggles to express how much he cares with his words and can be shy when it comes to expressing his feelings and romantic interest. If he was genuinely interested in pursuing someone romantically, he would likely take on the role of a secret admirer at first: doing small acts of kindness and leaving little, thoughtful gifts for his beloved completely anonymously as a way to show he cared before he grew comfortable and confident enough to confess his affection and romantic intentions.

Rogue practices both asking his beloved out on date and confessing his feelings with Frosh many times before he is even remotely ready to try to actually broach these topics with the one he loves. Frosh is always very encouraging which helps Rogue build the confidence he needs to pursue a relationship with his sweetheart.

🖤 -- Angst

Below the Cut because of the Heavier Themes.

(Warnings: Mentions and description of nightmares due to childhood trauma caused by grief and separation)

🖤 -- Angst

Ever since Rogue was separated from Skiadrum, he has had recurring nightmares in which he is running after the dragon. In these dreams, no matter how fast he runs and no matter how close he gets to Skiadrum, he can never reach him. He tries to scream and call out for him--to beg him to come back and not leave him all alone, but he cannot make any sound.

When Rogue was very young, he used to wake up crying from these nightmares, and though their frequency has lessened as he has aged, he will start having them regularly and waking up in tears because of them again in times of intense stress.

#rogue cheney #fairy tail headcanons #rogue cheney headcanons #thank you so much for the ask! #bye bye writer's block headcanons game #answered anons

[hoperays-song]

Character Deep Dive: Klaus, Ryan and the Dance Troupe

Finally, it is done! I hope y’all enjoy this deep dive!! Just please read the trigger warnings first. Seriously, read the trigger warnings first. Cannot stress that enough. Also shout out to my beta readers, y’all are amazing!!!

- <3 Gooseless

Character Deep Dive: Klaus, Ryan and the Dance Troupe

*TW: This deep dive will mention abuse, grooming, misuse of power, and manipulation. All the events and actions mentioned are based on real world events told to me by friends in the dance industry and my personal experience and research into the industry as well. However, this is just a theory based on my analysis and the analysis done by others. No hate to the people who actually like this character. Again, just a theory. Also, there were two attempted murders on screen as well as implying other murders had taken place in the second movie, so I feel like this theory (while very dark) isn’t the darkest the series could go and is therefore not that out of place. DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TO ANYTHING PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED. Also, no, this is not Klaus friendly. What about anything I’ve ever posted would make you think it is? That man gave me multiple panic attacks and made me go back to therapy for a bit because it reminded me of stuff, so nope, not going to be friendly. *

 As someone who was in dance my entire childhood and was raised by someone who was a dancer for 14 years, I always enjoy watching the representation of the dance world in media. I’m constantly looking for small details that allude to the real-world dance culture and I was ecstatic to note that in Sing 2 we got to see some of those cultural aspects as well as a wide range of diversity within the dance class itself. However, less than forty seconds in, I noticed what would become my main issue with the movie itself, the character Klaus. 

Klaus’s actions were shown to be antagonistic and cruel, yes, but the fact that they were brushed off at the end of the movie to allow him to continue to work with a student he was shown on screen to physically, verbally, and emotionally abuse for the simple reason of “he now knows what he’s capable of and won’t underestimate him again after that performance”. The thing with Klaus is that the major issue wasn’t his underestimating of Johnny’s abilities, it was the very blatant abuse and belittlement that was a constant part of his class. It was bad enough to cause Johnny to have at least one panic attack, and that’s Johnny. A kid who was raised in an extremely high stress situation and is used to being dragged through Buster’s bad and typically very dangerous ideas. Within the course of the first movie, we saw him chased by cops, trapped in a flooding building, and face down a group of potentially dangerous gang members. And while he seemed more than slightly worried and a good bit scared in some of those scenes, it was never enough to cause him to have a panic attack (at least not onscreen).

Yet, when you put him in Klaus’s class for two weeks and he ends up having panic attacks and is clearly extremely burnt out to the point other characters start to notice. You have to ask, what is going on there? Well, after analyzing (probably way too much) everything about Klaus and the dancers I could and doing a ton of research, this is the conclusion I’ve drawn.

 Analysis and Allegations

The actions we see from the character Klaus are far from just concerning. Not only do we see Klaus verbally berate and belittle his students, but we also see him physically hit them. No matter what modern media tells you, these are not normal in the dance world. That’s just blatant verbal, emotional, and physical abuse> It should not be tolerated or seen as normal under any circumstances. And, what’s worse is Johnny’s almost definitely not the youngest in that room. One of them, yes, but most likely not the absolute youngest. Most professional dancers report their first official contract at the age of 18. However, troupes are known to have members as young as 15 years old. And since Klaus was hired as choreographer and was able to produce a troupe on such short notice (literally canonically overnight), those are probably all his current students, meaning those kids could be as young as 12 (the age when most professional dancers report starting to circle the professional sphere, however dance classes can start as young as 2 years old). That is further backed up by the fact that every student stayed.

Now I understand that that statement itself might seem weird, however, contrary to popular opinion, dancers are some of the most terrifying people I have ever had the genuine pleasure of meeting. It’s a cut-throat industry and dancers are a lot of times forced to learn to stand up for themselves against abusive choreographers and directors that don’t actually value them. Most dancers I know would have just walked out the moment they saw how Klaus was treating the others, let alone if he started treating them that way. It’s very much an industry based on self-worth to survive. So, the fact that everyone in that class stayed told me that not only were they used to Klaus’s abuse, but they were also more than likely conditioned to take it. 

Like I said, most dancers tend to be extremely good at sticking up for themselves. Sadly however, as in the majority of athletics industries, grooming is a huge problem in dance. As I previously mentioned, dance classes can start as young as 2 years old with most professional dancers reporting to have started seriously training at the 4–6-year-old range. That means that young children, I can’t emphasize that enough that these are children, are being exposed to Klaus’s abuse on a daily basis (Choreographers typically are also teachers at a dance school and since anyone with common sense would fire him to avoid a lawsuit, I would believe that Klaus owns the school). And as anyone who has interacted with a child before can attest, they are incredibly trusting. So, if they were told by an authority figure that they’ve been told they can trust, like say a teacher, that something is normal and not a big deal and they’re lucky enough to have a nice teacher as others are worse, they’re going to believe it.

Even if as they get older and realize that they were lied to and are in fact being mistreated, a lot of times they feel trapped or have no support systems outside of the people involved in the bad situation. Especially if you have been going to a specialized school where everyone around you has been going through the same thing and your contact with people outside it is extremely limited. This can be made worse by the power held by higher ups in the dance industry (choreographers, casting directors, etc.). Those higher ups completely control the lifeline of everything in the industry. One bad word from one can seriously be a career ender. Not only that, but those people tend to be more successful, more in the public eye, and therefore can sway public opinion against whoever might have spoken up with ease as well as making court cases where poor dancers are going up against vastly successful higher ups a literal nightmare for the dancers. A lot of times they cannot afford a good attorney and will end up losing the case or being hushed by settlements that they desperately need due to a lack of work.  

         Therefore, I believe that even if Klaus’s abuse of his students has been brought to light before, it more than likely was swept under the rug. And I believe his abuse of Johnny was evidence proving that theory. Why? Well, Johnny is different than every other student in that room. Not just because he’s never danced before, but because he is not a permeant member of Klaus’s Troupe. He’s only there for the run of the show. And if you are struggling to see why that might be important, let me explain. Johnny has no stake in Klaus’s success. He will not be affected if Klaus’s name is dragged through the mud. He will not be out of a job if Klaus is fired. What Johnny is, as Klaus and every member of that Troupe must know, is a close, personal friend of the director and absolutely can affect their employment status if he wants. He can have them fired and replaced with a different group the next day if he really wanted to beg Buster for a new teacher. Klaus knew this and still chose to target and abuse Johnny. He knew how risky that was and he still did it. That shows to me that he’s gotten away with that kind of thing before. He’s more than likely done this to several other rookies and not faced consequences. And if he’s willing to do it to them, people with no reliance on his success, he definitely is willing to do it to his students, who are relying on him for essentially everything. If Klaus’s reputation is ruined, so is theirs and their resume will probably not get them as far. If Klaus goes under, they suddenly are out of jobs in a city known for its competitive performing job market. If they speak up, they’ll be fired, and Klaus’s reputation will absolutely carry him through any court case they may try. They are very likely end up homeless and hungry if they lose their jobs with him. Klaus has all the power. And he knows it.

         Those are the primary reasons I believe that not only did Klaus physically, verbally, emotionally, and mentally abuse his students, he more than likely is guilty of several much more sinister crimes like grooming and misuse of power.

 Ryan, The Primary Victim

          This part of my theory is where it gets a little more intricate. In dance, there’s a role in most organizations known as the Principal Dancer. The Principal Dancer is the top dancer in that company and frequently are given not only solos but starring roles in shows the company is hired to perform. Starting to sound familiar? That’s because that’s exactly what we see happen to Ryan. Ryan is given the role of being Johnny’s dance partner in the duet, one of the starring roles in the scene of a show being put on by a head of the entertainment industry. However, when we look at the students during this announcement, none of them look surprised. Ryan seems to have been the choice that everyone was expecting. On top of that, Ryan is the only one of Klaus’s students to publicly receive praise in front of the others, something that again doesn’t seem to surprise anyone. Klaus wasn’t doing that just to make Johnny feel bad (he would have pointed out how other students were doing better than him too), he clearly has praised Ryan before. Ryan is Klaus’s Principal Dancer. And upon realizing that, I immediately started to worry for him.

         Principal Dancers are often used as the example for all other students to follow. They stand at the head of the barre during warmups and help other students during practice. They can even help the teacher/choreographer with the choreography and the class overall. Essentially, they can tend to take on the role of a teaching assistant. And rather unsurprisingly at this point, we see Ryan doing just that during the practice scenes. While we never see them doing group warmups on barre, we do see Ryan seemingly helping another student correct their pose when Johnny shows up late for class. In fact, he’s the only student not doing those poses and is instead walking between the others as if checking what they’re doing. He also then proceeds to do the fight scene choreography perfectly. And while we might be meant to brush that off as “oh, he’s a talented dancer, of course he can do the choreo perfectly”, I’m here to tell you that essentially no one can do choreo absolutely perfectly on their first full run through. And that’s what it’s hinted at being, especially for Ryan. Johnny might have learned bits and pieces of the fight scene choreo before that point, however, Ryan’s role was announced in that very scene, and he was still able to do the choreography perfectly. That means that Ryan had practiced that choreo before, more than likely numerous times till he was able to do it flawlessly. And that means, he was more than likely practicing alone, or at least without Johnny (a neutral third party who would note and potentially protest any abuse), with Klaus.

         We know that Klaus has hit his students before, hell we see him do it multiple times in the movie itself, and we know that he also verbally and emotionally berates his students on the regular. We can see by how his students react to this, how scared they look, that they too are targets. And statistically, the person closest to the abuser is typically their primary victim. In this instance, we know the person closest to Klaus within the troupe is Ryan.

         What’s more, the behaviors of Ryan and Klaus within the movie hint to this fact as well (this is probably where I go into over analysis but I’m too far deep in this rabbit hole now so). For starters, let’s look at the scene where Johnny, Buster, and Gunter enter the training room. The first thought that blared through my mind was their shoes. If you didn’t know, street shoes are not allowed on practice room floors, like ever. It can wear down the flooring and therefore make it extremely dangerous for the dancers. So, the fact that the dancers didn’t say anything in of itself was odd, but then again, the Principal Dancer might have been the one expected to speak up in that instance since it involved the show’s director. Speaking of the Principal Dancer, Ryan is the one dancer we do not see in that opening scene. He’s nowhere to be found and neither is Klaus. Now, Klaus being gone on the first day of a show isn’t that surprising. Choreographers have a lot of people they have to talk to such as the director, the publicity manager, the wardrobe department, etc. but Ryan being missing is odd. For one, he would technically be, at least honorarily judging by the troupe’s dynamic, in charge while Klaus is gone, and two, there’s no way they didn’t know they would be getting their new dancer (Johnny) that morning. Having no one there to formally met him or tell him the expectations would spell disaster to a cohesive first practice. And yet Ryan is missing. He could have just stepped out for a moment, true, or been helping Klaus with something, but we never see him being treated as an assistant choreographer so that seems a bit far-fetched to me. Therefore, I have chosen to believe theory three: he wasn’t allowed to be there.

         Now some of you might realize where this theory is headed, but still, let’s keep going. Why wouldn’t a Principal Dancer, the top performer in the company, be allowed to be there when the new student was introduced for the first time? I don’t think it was due to the new student, it was due to who would be there with him. Johnny didn’t walk into that practice studio alone, he walked in with the director and the screen writer, two people of power on set. What’s more is that those two are currently being backed by one of the heads of the biggest entertainment industries in what’s hinted at being the world. They have power and they can use it. If Ryan would have said something to them, perhaps warning them of what Klaus is like or asking for help, they would immediately have them removed from the show and done anything in their power to help Ryan. Therefore, Klaus kept Ryan close or might have even sent him out to do something to avoid him saying anything that could hurt his image. And what’s more, I think Ryan would have. Let’s look at Ryan’s behaviors throughout the movie now, shall we?

         First off, I will admit Ryan is a character with one to two lines and a surprisingly limited amount of screen time for actually being decently important to the plot (though he might have more/close to the same amount screen time than Alfonso if I remember correctly. I’ll have to check.). The first time we actually see Ryan, it’s at Crystal’s Auditions. However, he’s not auditioning. From what I can see (and common fan theories) he’s there to support someone, maybe a friend, maybe a child of a sponsor of the dance company. And he’s also more than likely supposed to be networking for the company as well, getting these potential rich sponsors to like him enough to support Klaus’s company. That is a job assigned to Principal Dancers at certain companies after all. In the scene where we see Ryan, we actually notice him mostly paying attention to Johnny (yes, I do ship them, no, that is not where this is going, nice try). In fact, we see him look him up and down and watch him the entire time he’s in the room. Why is that important for non-shipping reasons? Because there is no way Ryan did not recognize Johnny the next day when he showed up in Klaus’s class. He saw him as a janitor and the next time he sees him apparently his director is friends with Clay Calloway, and they can put on an award-winning show with only three weeks of prep? Yeah, there’s no way Ryan didn’t know that wasn’t a lie. He knew they snuck in. And he didn’t say anything. Klaus would have absolutely used that as ammo against Johnny if he knew and we don’t know enough about the other troupe members to know if they would have told him if Ryan had mentioned it, so it’s a decently safe assumption that he didn’t say a word. He was willing to protect them and their secrets, no questions asked.                                                                                           

         Now, onto where we actually see a fair bit of Ryan, the dance classes. This is where we finally see Ryan being acknowledged as the Principal Dancer as well as a surprising amount of his personality. For starters, we can tell he’s extremely patient and dedicated. He never seems annoyed or upset that Johnny’s struggling so much to the point they have to go long. He is just calm and steady, doing the choreo over and over again the exact same way so Johnny can get used to the same movements. He also has clearly been dancing since he was a kid to reach the rank of Principal Dancer when he’s as young as he is (I always though he and Johnny were close in age, 18-19 years old). So, what do we now know about Ryan? That he’s trustworthy, patient, and very dedicated.

         Now on to why this personality we see hints to Ryan actually being a threat to Klaus’s reputation. Ryan doesn’t act like Klaus. And why does that mean Ryan doesn’t agree with Klaus’s views? Well, a lot of times when people of similar ideologies and behaviors are together, they amplify those traits in each other (think about things like political rallies or groups of friends). Or think of how couples who have been together a long time develop the same habits or how kids mimic their caretakers (and since Ryan is Klaus’s Principal Dancer and probably been training with him for years that probably the closest fit). However, Ryan’s mannerisms and personality seem to be the exact opposites of his teacher’s. He’s even willing to sneak into Crystal Theatre to help them put on the show apparently behind Klaus’s back, seeming to lead the other students there. He doesn’t align himself with his teacher’s ideology towards Johnny at all. In fact, we see him being extremely supportive of the other boy during the show and practices. At this point, it’s pretty clear to me that Ryan has definitely grown disillusioned with whatever Klaus probably told him as a young student and in fact seems to rebel against his teacher’s wishes constantly. He wouldn’t have held back if he had been alone with Buster and Gunter that day. He would have warned them.

         You might be asking “So if this is the case, why hasn’t Klaus fired him then?” Well, simple, sponsors. Remember how I said earlier that Principal Dancers are commonly used for networking between different troupes? Well, as we can observe, Ryan seems to be a very friendly and outgoing guy. He seems like the kind of person who can make friends quickly and easily. And while that is great for making those networking connections, it also means those connections are more than likely fonder of Ryan, a cheerful and friendly young adult, then Klaus, who is shown to be a perfectionist and egotistical. If Klaus was to fire Ryan (especially since I don’t think Ryan would sign an NDA), Ryan would more than likely go to those sponsors and ask for help. He likely could financially cripple the troupe if he wanted to. Klaus is kinda stuck with him at this point.

         And that being stuck with him, especially since Ryan is almost definitely under contract, spells worse news for Ryan. If he leaves and breaks contract, he can be sued, and that lawsuit would probably destroy his future in the dance industry. And if he stays, Klaus more than likely is going to target him even more to try to eliminate the chances of Ryan saying anything (gaslighting, scarily common these days). Ryan is trapped between abuse and essentially financial desolation for the foreseeable future.

        That wraps up by deep dive into the theory that sprung to life after watching the interactions and behaviors of the dance troupe and Klaus in Sing 2. And in the case of a TL:DR scenario, I believe that Klaus has committed much worse crimes than what we’re shown on screen and I believe that Ryan is his primary victim.

#sing 2 #sing ryan #sing the dance troupe #i am not tagging klaus #why? because of literally everything i wrote about #again no hate to people who like his character #just please acknowledge how he treats his students onscreen is not healthy or normal #just because it's like that on dance moms doesn't mean its good #and by the way this isn''t even the worst of what could be happening #I avoided writing about that here due to personal triggers #but if you are curious and have a strong stomach google abuse and dance and scroll past the videos to the articles #it's fucking horrifying #all events above are based on real world occurences #my thoughts and sympathies to those victims who went through things like this #I wish the worst on your abuser #for all dancers who potentially are reading this after seeing their own classes reflected in klaus's #there are resources to help you #please please please reach out to someone #that is not normal or ok #i will go a bit more in detail about this in my fic of course #but for now this is everything

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Serendipity-

-the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Masterlist

About my writing

Literally a constant array of messy ideas. I jump from one fandom to another, always starting new projects and taking too long to finish them. I ask you be patient with me and tolerate my disastrous train of thought.

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About me

She/her, I go by the nickname Ari. I love to read and I love to write. Would add a currently fixated on but I change my fixation every other day so I don't think that would be very efficient or helpful. I'm 19 and I study journalism (is that an important detail? Idk but I felt like I had to add it so I did.) My entire mind is a jumble of ideas, so my fanfics can be sorta odd??? Idk, it's not really a warning so much as a heads up, I guess.

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[theanimewriter]

Hi, if you wanted to write, can i have a fluff Yu Ishigami x F!reader. Like he as a reader boyfriend. <33

The Gamer had gain an achievement

pairing: GN!reader x Yu Ishigami

genre:Fluff

Warning: None!

Summary: Having Ishigami as a amazing boyfriend.



Being poor at reading emotions, Ishigami does a better job of meeting his partner needs when made aware of these needs.It well known that Ishigami is not generally known for his skills as romantics, but a strong and solid partner who care deeply about those he allow into his live.

You manage to do all of that and show Ishigami so much love than he thought he could ever get.He is just the most lovely and caring boyfriend that you can have.

Having Ishigami as a boyfriend means; needing space and time alone, no matter how enamored he is by you. He require this time to recharge and process his inner thoughts and feelings. Without this time to themselves Ishigami becomes mentally and emotionally exhausted, and this is just something he cannot live without.

Ishigami always listens to you even if it doesn’t look like it or even if you’re not talking to him,he listens.Listening and communicate means everything to Ishigami,That’s how he knows how you feel and how you know with his feelings.

He always pays attention and analyze what he have seen and heard, in hopes of understanding people better and you particular.If you look mad even if it’s very little to notice,he’s the one that can tell; Sadness,stress,happiness,bored.He see it all.Ishigami will stop everything and everyone just so he can help you.

Physical Touch is Ishigami love language.It would take some time for him to get to do this but when it comes you’ll never have him stop touching you.He tends to give you backscratch or a massage, arm around you,hold your hand,soft kisses,cuddling.etc. Do keep in mind,Ishigami took a long time to even hand your hand without feeling the urge to pass out.

Spending time together is another thing that you too tend to do. He would really like if you listen to his hobbies and play games with him as while.He would also be happy if you like or don’t mind his manga or the girl he likes in them.Of course,they aren’t better than you but he still likes them.(You’re always first in his book,no matter what.)

He for you to tell him you love him.He can’t say it that much but it means the world to him if you would tell him that his amazing,smart,loving boyfriend you ever had.He would start crying his eyes out since no one has ever told him such nice things before.

Make sure you never call him ‘creepy’ for anything.If Ishigami ever heard you called him ‘creepy’ he would never let it go,he would think he’s one of those weird,creep,psycho boyfriends or how his old crush boyfriend use to play with her like a toy.After that you have to apologize and say his nothing like that.

Don’t be surprised when people are questioning why you’re with him.You are not the one getting bully it’s really him and people feels bad for you that you’re even with him.Being Ishigami’s lover means you know the truth that happens at his middle school. Normally you simply just have to tell the person off kindly and tell them that you know who he is and you love him no matter what anyone says.(This also made him cry.He feels so lucky to have you.)

But if someone would ever pick on you they would never live for it.If Ishigami has to beat the sh*t out of someone than he very much do so.He will take no one to bully such a nice,kind-heart, and love able person as you.Someone like you should never be put through such things.

In totally,Ishigami is such an amazing boyfriend to have and he would do anything in the world for you.He wants nothing more for you to be happy with or without him.Juat having a smile on your face is more than good enough.(Even though he says it won’t matter if you leave him,please don’t he loves you to much and he just so happy and lucky to have you.)

#headcanon #anime boy #x reader #anime #gn!reader #romanticism #boyfriend #yu ishigami x reader #love is war #love language #kaguya sama wa kokurasetai #kaguya sama love is war #kaguya sama ultra romantic #ishigami yu #anime guy