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#'damn maybe it was kinda wrong of me to kill all those people to bring my kid back' moment. i think he'd never regret that tbh
springlock-suits · 8 months
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I don't make 'redemption' aus of my William bc I think he deserves it I make them because I think it's funny and that he'd hate it
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bobosbillionsknives · 1 month
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i agree with a lot of your points about knives, i do also think he is aroace of some kind (demi imo), but the way he ignores bodily autonomy wasn't a theme that was new to stampede. the way he consumes other plants and forced vash to use his angel arm are examples of it, though less explicitly 'sexual'. either way, his actions weren't born out of sexual attraction, he simply thinks that all plants are an extension of himself and he can use their bodies as he pleases since its for a 'greater purpose'. he is not a predator but he isn't innocent either
Oh no no no no no no no I do NOT wanna give the impression that I am genuinely defending knives is ANY way. 😭
I completely agree with everything you're saying. He is inarguably abusive. Saying he's not would be a wild ass claim to make. 🙏 My only argument here is that it isn't specifically sexual, but I'll get more into that in a bit. 😝 I have SO MUCH to say abt this...so I'm gunna use this as an excuse to word vomit on y'all. Thank you for bringing this to me I am itching.CRAVING to talk about my favorite girls always. 🤗💖
INSANE ESSAY POSTING LETS GOO !!!
I think your point on Knives seeing the plants as an extension of himself is SPOT ON!!! He does the same thing with Vash too. He's doing it because hes so stuck up his own ass he seriously thinks there is no possible way he could ever be wrong, everyone else is just too blind or stupid to see it his way. That's why he does the whole "eternal suffering for Vash the Stampede" bit. He genuinely cannot comprehend that Vash just fundamentally disagrees with him. He thinks if Vash goes out and sees every horrible thing a human can be he'll finally give up the hippy dippy act and face this false reality Knives made up as a coping mechanism so he never has to actually face any of his problems. Cause stabbing all your problems away is waaaaay easier than actual growth or change. Top ten girls who are trapped by the horrors of their past 😂!
Knives has a blatant misunderstanding of people's worth outside of himself. He disregards the lives of others constantly, he literally murdered 20 mil+ and was genuinely confused when Vash was mad at him for it. He doesn't take anything seriously. He especially doesn’t take physical pain seriously, unless it’s happening to himself. [DID YOU ACTUALLY SHOOT ME!!?] He's said that he knows none of the crazies he sends after Vash can ever kill him. He thinks if they can't kill him, then none of the hurt Vash experiences during these fights really count. Its always a game to him. He knows Vash will be fine because he has faith in his ability to fight. (He's complimented his fighting skills several times lol.) Yet he’s consistently shocked and disgusted when he sees Vashes scars, like he didn’t play a role in that ??? He just never thought of it until it was literally staring him in the face.
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HE THINKS EVERYTHINGS A DAMN GAME !!!!!
Knives never really wants to force Vash to agree with him either, he's literally waited decades for him to come around to his point. He's definitely lashed out violently before, and has disregarded his safety. But I don't think he actually even likes seeing Vash in pain 😭 (maybe a little in a Itoldyouso brother kinda way lol.) He's completely horrified when he sees his scars. This panel speaks absolute VOLUMES to me. He is angry that Vash would allow people to hurt him this much. (Bro is for sure a victim blamer 🥱 Vash OBVIOUSLY should've known humans are evil and would do this to him. 🙄 HIS FAULT !) Those scars solidify in his mind that his brother is reckless, and clearly doesn't know what's best for himself. That's why he feels the right to "save" him from humans. Knives out of anyone in the world knows how much Vash disregards his own life. He's angry that his own brother would choose the perceived violence of humanity instead of the safety he has worked SO hard to cultivate for over a hundred years. After everything they learned from their childhoods, Vash would have to be deaf and dumb to keep crawling back to them. (From his perspective anyway.)
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Everything Knives does he thinks is to better Vashes life. That's what makes him such a tragic character to me. He genuinely believes he's in the right and doing everything he has to so him and his brother can feel that safety that was never guaranteed to them in childhood. He loves Vash, (PLATONICALLY !!!! 😰) He wants Vash to be happy. He just doesn't understand why, that despite everything, living alongside the humans is what makes him happy. Something he only accepts at the end of trimax when he literally trees himself to assumed death so Vash could have that. Knives is unambiguously in the wrong, but I do think his thought processes are sympathetic. WRONG. But like .I get it girl. Besides, he acts more like a toxic mother than anything. How DARE you be so ungrateful after everything I've ever done for you that you've never even asked for. ✋😒 and EXPLICITLY told me not to do. Ugh. 🙄 you don't even love me…guess im just a terrible brother than huh…🥀 BITCH SHUT UP !!!!
Now about the asexuality, not only...do I think Knives is aroace. I think he's completely sex REPULSED!!!!! Sex is a mark of human degeneracy, animals clinging for power over each other. Hed think hes above it !! It would disgust him, I don't think he's ever had a sexual thought in his life. He’s also a Jesus freak he'd think procreation in general is a sin 🙄‼️ik his interpretation of the bibles gotta be INSANE. Exploring sensuality is like a normal and healthy thing to do no fucking WAY Knives is self aware enough to do all that. If he could experience any kind of libido, his hatred of humans would never allow him to explore it anyway. Since sex is such a huge part of human culture. He probably thinks consensual sex is a myth humans made up to assault each other easier…😭
this is literally him bro I can't see him any other way...🚬 He's literally a pearl clutching mom who refuses to understand anyone else's experiences because he doesn't understand them.
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I can't imagine him being able to feel romantic love either...I actually think it would be pretty out of character ngl. Plus I think it could be an interesting element of why he feels so disconnected from humanity in general. It would be part of why he feels the need to define himself as alien. Knives would rather die than admit this, (and he did) but all he's ever wanted was understanding. The same way Vash does. Knives doesn't understand sexuality/romance, or deep empathy, or most social confinements at all. That's clear by his inappropriate emotional reactions and lack of a filter. He can't feel emotions the same way Vash or Rem can. It makes it very difficult for him to relate to and connect with others. Especially Rem. He feels too wrong, too broken, too alien. But he's convinced himself that this is actually a superiority. So he can sleep at night. But he's far more human than he'll ever be willing to accept. The familial love he feels for Vash is the only thing that makes him feel normal. And it's why he clings to it so desperately. I think that feeling being explicitly familial makes the most sense for the story.
(cut for explicit talk of SA/CSA)
Im never one to dismiss bad actions from a fictional character. If I thought Knives was a sexual abuser, id say it. I even considered it before I watched/read Trigun and kept it in mind the whole time because of how prevalent of a take it is. If anything, I feel like theres more evidence for metaphorical depictions of Knives BEING sexually abused than being the sexual abuser. I mean his literal whole thing is how plants bodies are used and abused against their will. Solely for the humans gain. While it's slowly and painfully killing them. And how afraid he is that they'll do it to him too....😭 He would be absolutely HORRIFIED by SA. I just don't think it's an abuse he'd perpetuate. It goes against literally everything he stands for. I get he’s a hypocrite and all but I could just never see Knives of all people doing anything sexually ever. ESPECIALLY for his own pleasure.
Both Vash and Knives read to me as CSA victims. This would need to be a separate post all together because there is entirely just too much to say. But I feel very strongly about this interpretation and it's why I'm so firm on this. Sexual abuse is a huge theme in trigun OBVIOUSLY!! And Vash and Knives can easily represent different ways people cope with trauma like that. Knives gets angry, and bitter, and lashes out. While Vash shuts himself off, and tries to run away from it all. Two extremes from two brothers. Two sides of the same coin and all that. They've been victimized, I think it's the main reason why Knives would be so angry and distrustful of humans. Now I know Steve was kind of a throw away character from the anime- but I believe long term interpersonal abuse from a human early in life would explain a lot of the deep rooted hatred Knives has for humanity. Along with his hatred for Rem if she failed to protect them, and his deep sense of entitlement to protect Vash if Vash couldn't protect himself. (Tesla was the last straw for Knives bc at least for a while he thought he could trust Conrad till all that happened and he realized the only person he could ever trust was Vash, and that fear never really left him even 100+ years after.) (My interpretation of Conrads role is also a different post gerrrrr TOO MUCH TO SAY.)
Knives' ideology has always been inconsistent, I can easily see him disregarding autonomy in some ways but refusing to in others and never making a mental connection between the two. Plus Knives would think Vashes scars are shameful and disgusting. He probably cant even make himself look at him let alone touch him be so fr. Knives' definitely has an unhealthily attachment to Vash but not in a sexy sex or ROMANCE way 🤦‍♂️ ITS JUST HIS BPD YA’LL 😝‼️#favoriteperson #extremefearofabandonment #vashkeepsleavinghim (also another separate insane essay post) there is no argument here that Knives isn’t extremely bad at emotional regulation. Familial/platonic dynamics like that happen literally all the time it’s just not evidence of anything to me. I can't even see Knives directly punching someone let alone be capable of sexual violence against his own BROTHER ? I'd argue he's far more verbally/emotionally abusive than he ever is physically anyway. He doesn't even kill directly, it's always either done without a second thought by his powers, indirectly by starving the population out, or by making other people do it for him. He doesn't seem to actually enjoy seeing people in pain, more the satisfaction of a job well done. I don't see why this wouldn't apply to Vash too? He doesn't even usually initiate their physical fights. Vash does. (He has every right to, for the record. Knives just doesn't comprehend why Vash would be mad so he always tries to talk like everything is normal. Lol.) And when they are fighting he always puts his hand on his face ?? More annoying than a direct indication of violence. He could just punch him or something but he doesn't? Like violence in Trigun isn't a thing known to happen. Idk I think that's interesting and worth exploring a bit yk ???
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Obviously he chopped his arm off I'm not saying he's innocent there either, just that he's more likely to be emotionally manipulative than explicitly interpersonally violent LOOLL. He didn't chop off his brothers arm because he enjoyed it, to him that pain is neutral. It was just a super casual reminder. But SEXUAL violence is completely different, sure it'll leave scars but you can heal from physical pain all day and night I mean commooon it barely even COUNTS as real pain. (Because he rarely has to experience it.) (A certain someone's got a major empathy problem.) And if it kills you it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead 😝!! But SA is different. It's his worst fear and greatest agony. It's something he knows sticks with you your whole life, he doesn't think that's a wound capable of being healed. (So he never tries and chooses to live in constant fear and anger instead.) That's how I see it anyway...🤕 Again it's not like he's a reasonable guy he is known to be a bit unstable idk if u knew...
Actually if anything, I think Vash would be the more interpersonally violent of the two. (Vashes abuse is always reactionary tho he would never act like that if Knives would just be normal lol he is not the aggressor here.) I can't see Knives punching Vash but I could VERY easily see Vash punching Knives ykwim ??? (For trimax anyway, ik kid Knives beats the shit out of him in 98 which I DO think is funny. But I don't accept into my personal canon okay LISTEN we are talking about a lot of conflicting characterizations here. JUST HEAR ME OUT. ✋) Knives never even really blames Vash for BLOWING HIS LEGS OFF in July too, which I always thought was so interesting. It makes me think this is actually a common thing for them to the point that they don't even argue about it outside of "are you actually aiming at me again 🙄?" Which is more bitchy than angry. Like ugh I can't believe you. Typical, typical Vash. 🥱 He'd probably use it as a way of proving to him that they are the same. And despite denying it, Vash would actually agree and feel a deep sense of shame abt it. He's had 150 years of pent up anger after all. He almost killed him with a rock once lol. I'm tired of everyone woobifying Vash as some kind of perpetual uwu victim. Vash is fucking mean sometimes. He is just as capable of violence as Knives is. The same way Knives is just as capable of great kindness. It is known that Vash is in fact physically STRONGER than Knives. (With his plant powers and id assume in general because Vash actually goes outside while Knives reads in his garden all day.) I truly believe that the only reason Knives ever wins the sibling fights is because of Vashes constant hesitance. He's not a battered wife stereotype. All Vash wants is control over his own life, the last thing he'd want to see himself as is a helpless victim. It's why he always pretends nothing is ever wrong with him. It's why he doesn't accept help, and values other people's problems far above his own. His kindness was always an active choice and that's why he's such a powerful character. And Knives would bring out the absolute worst in him LOOL all that work he's done to better himself is instantly thrown out the window the second Knives' very punchable face walks in the room.
He was fighting absolute demons not to run over and beat tf out of Knives in this panel
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This is why I feel so disgusted by stampede and the way they handled their relationship. They've dumbed down these characters to the point that they are unrecognizable. Literally every aspect of stampedes portrayal of them feels like a first conclusion based on a synopsis of their goals and personalities. I get there's only one season but that's a LOT to fuck up in one season bro. 😭. There is absolutely no salvaging Nai as a character for me. I'd cover my drink around that guy I find him genuinely repulsive. At least with trimax, you can read around an initial sussy reading if you wanted. How anyone defends Nai, I don't even know. That whole plant insemination thing is pretty on the nose y'all. Literally doesn't even make sense for him to do that like? Why would he want more independent plants??? It's like they tried to make Knives' motivations make sense when the whole point should be that they don't. He's fighting ghosts out of fear. Stampede wasn't even good enough to justify its own existence by how it looks. Adding peculiar plant pregnancy preggo fetish incest bait is just the turd on the turd cake. They ruined the most compelling part of the story for me. Pfft.... But whatever...🚬 not like I care ....🚬
Not to mention Legato y'all don't even get me started. The guy that HATES humans more than anything in the world taking in a HUMAN -SEX TRAFFICKING VICTIM. The one time he's ever taken pity on a human being and it was someone who was the victim of a violent sex crime. Yeah guys that dude. Total raper. Defo a brother diddler. What the fuck are we talking about right now y'all. I genuinely feel like sexual violence would be the last thing knives would ever do ever. I understand that there are sus scenes in the manga that could be interpreted this way, but considering the many themes in Trigun and his place in the story as a whole, I think it is such a misrepresentation. And it frustrates me to see it as one of the only things talked about in regards of his character. If I could, I'd rewrite every scene in the world so people could understand what I see, but I can't. And I know I can't control how other people see the media I like. Trigun is extremely interpretive, and I understand why this is a common conclusion. But I guess I just can't shake the feeling that it's more complicated than that. I have criticisms with trimax and ESPECIALLY 98. And there's obvi a lot id change to fit what I'd find most interesting. (Also why every headcanon revolves around Knives somehow teehee) BUUUUUT I do think all of my analysis is pretty based in canon. I can't stress how insane I am about this and how much I've thought about it 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕. Believe me, I've considered every obstacle. And I've stayed consistent.
Knives is a raper feels like the easy answer to me. To be completely blunt, it's just not as compelling. Vash and Knives would both have very complicated relationships with their bodies and sensualities and gender and their relation to their plantself and their humanself and blah blah blah whatever. I'd much rather explore that as a separate result of the same abuse than default to supercestsimulator69. Knives is already an abuser. Making him a sexual aggressor too doesn't really add anything to the story besides diminish and dumb down his very complex motivations. Vash and Knives should be very good friends who know each other better than anyone. (They are trauma bonded like CRAAAZZY, very codependent like y'all get it.) I think that would make their conflict SO much more interesting. While providing some great context to why Vash is so willing to give every horrible person he meets a second chance at life. If I saw my brother, who I love, and is my best friend in the whole wide world, slowly deteriorate under the pressure of the abuse we we're BOTH experiencing; go fucking crazy and kill everyone. And I KNEWW. He genuinely believed he was doing what he had to do to protect the both of us...I'd probably also give everyone the benefit of the doubt idk. Vash understanding Knives' motivations but still holding on to that (justified) resentment and anger is ESSENTIAAAL to their dynamic and also literally all of Trigun. Sexual abuse throws a rock in all of this. If anything I think Knives would tell Vash "I'm the only one who WOULDN'T assault you. They're human, they'll only see you for how useful you are. It's what they do. It's what you know they do. You're choosing them over me the same way Rem chose Steve over us." Knives' abuse is complicated and multifaceted, not just some gross display of power. He's not even the most power hungry character in the world. He's got a whole cult dedicated to him that he canonically IGNORES.
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And he sure as shit doesn't respect people who are desperate for power over others!! He'd think he's above that too. Just more evidence of human deviance. (Like the scene in 98 where kid Vash and Knives are watching the humans fight over water. Animals who think one is more deserving of resources than the other.) He's narcissistic in the literal diagnosable sense but definitely not some kinda megalomaniac. I think that's a huge mischaracterization. He doesn't want to rule the world, he wants to destroy it. And he wants Vash to be his equal in this, he respects Vash. (as far as someone like Knives can respect anybody at all) He doesn't understand why Vash would choose to be so "dumb" because he's never allowed himself to feel the vulnerability of potential harm that Vash wants him to understand is worth it. It's why he locks himself away from the world, he's afraid of being victimized again. Knives' morals are all over the place, he genuinely doesn't think murder is bad but would consider sexual violence to be the worst thing anyone could ever do EVER. It's not like we're talking about the beacon of reason and consistency here y'all, Knives is cray cray sauce.
Anyway that's my thoughts, sorry this took forever to answer. 😿 And ended up being SOOO long.. I've on and off mauled over this writing and rewriting again trying to make any of my garbled thoughts make any sense. Hope it resonates with anybody at least bc I genuinely feel like I've been taking crazy pills lately LOOL. Take care of yourselves everyone. 💖 Never an easy subject to talk about.
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abyssalspamton · 7 months
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ohhh my god. long rant. i need to talk about this otherwise im going to explode. no one will see this but I have SUCH mixed feelings about the final of fionna and cake. obviously spoilers for fionna and cake final ep 9&10 (charlotte do not read this i'll kill you)
ok so first of all I've already seen some people talking about how it's MEANT to be underwhelming because 'that's just how life is!' and stuff like that but. honestly that doesn't make it. good? I feel like they still could've kept what generally happened, with that same attitude, but made it at LEAST a bit better??? I haven't seen anyone talk about this but the lich. I'm so disappointed what they did with them. This was 100% me hyping myself up, considering I want there to be another season, and I thought it made logical sense for them to use the OG lich as a proper antagonist for season 2. But c'mon. Why not just leave him in his own little reality where he's alone? why bring him to golb and then have him killed? that felt so pointless. I feel like it would've been better because he would've been punished MORE, frustrated by the fact that he'd never know why golb never reached out to him or anything, and he'd just be stuck there.
In my head for the lich I thought he'd end up following Simon or Fionna to their reality and just. silently wait? I thought the lich had a realization of "oh maybe if i kill life again in ANOTHER world i'll be noticed? no one's done THAT before" and that's where it was leading. but. obviously was wrong. i guess maybe he can get. unkilled or whatever you want to call it but. eh.
With the whole Fionna's world not getting magic im not surprised by that. I expected it! considering episode 8 Simon never finished putting the crown on his head. I'm happy they didn't turn it magical actually, i really liked the message of Fionna liking her world the way it is and putting her fantasies aside. I'm. conflicted. with the way it happened, and the whole fake out of Simon going to put the crown on his head then throwing it. It just kinda felt weird?
I. did not. like the whole fucking. book game thing. And that being how Simon figured out his and Betty's relationship wasn't the best. It felt forced. it felt too kidish? i was enjoying the whole series so far with it seeming less childish, but to put it into a simple game and Simon realising like that. felt. weird. I feel like they could've done what happened after? where Simon relived stopping Betty from going on the bus? In my head it would've been better to do that but lead it on longer. Have him slowly realise that he never did what Betty wanted to do? it's not perfect but just something other than the book. It kinda felt like they only did it to show off those two characters? which was frustrating when I just wanted to see Simon resolve his relationship with betty.
Talking about that, when he DID relive stopping Betty from going on the bus. that felt SO short? like damn ok they just figured it out that fast. didn't talk that much about it. I love Betty saying Simon was a great experience. and like. I GET SHE'S A GOD NOW. so she's going to think/act differently and not be obsessed with him which is good!! but I feel like there should've been. more talking on that part. instead of just being a minute long (from the moment he entered the body and started 'redoing' it).
I don't have much to say about the scarab? he didn't really. leave an impression the last two episodes. I guess since obvs it was going to be figured out? I hate. HATEEE what they did with simon at the end of the show when they were wrapping up. No finn, no marcy. just by himself. I understand that he's meant to learn how to be his own person, but it would've been nice to see him with family/friends. I think it would've been better if his was more later in the future? not a majour amount, just so he'd already moved out of his old place. It would've been cute, having a proper apartment or house. Maybe marcy helping him move in. I'm BEGGING for him to have a proper father daughter relationship with her, where she also realises he needs some attention considering. YA KNOW HIS FUCKED UP SITUATION.
Kinda iffy with the whole. baby fin and fin's. child, and his girlfriend, getting teleported to Fionna's world. kinda wish it got left alone? cause what is. fin from that world just dead? or is he alive and now just missing a son??? he'd be distraught??? i have FEELINGS.
I've been talking about what I'm like. upset/annoyed about mostly because THAT IS MY STRONGEST FEELINGS. marshel and gary being worried they wouldn't remember each other is. SO fucking cute. I wont lie, a part of me was wishing that even though i knew simon wouldn't put on the crown that he would, just so they could see each other and. idk. have gary simp over vampire marshel. I also think that might've made the scarb fight more entertaining, since having real magic involved, they could get rid of it once the fight is over because. THEY WOULDN'T LIKE IT.
I'll stop here cause. i got my emotions out.
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icebluecyanide · 22 days
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Alex Rider S03E01 Reaction
So I've already watched all of s3, but I decided for some reason to keep a liveblog & take a moment after every episode to write down my thoughts/predictions/questions at the time. Some of it is very amusingly wrong, but I'm going to share it anyway because I do always enjoy reading liveblogs/reaction posts myself so maybe other people will want to read it too.
Note that while this contains no spoilers for later eps, I have read the book and reference it, so warning for book spoilers and me being unable to stop comparing the two.
Liveblog
Hey I’ve been there! (Malta)
I am petty but I don’t like Alex sharing what Yassen told him with people lol. But I guess they had to make it a group project for the show and it’s not the stuff with his dad which is what Alex in the books felt was too private to share so oh well
Tom and Jerry(/Jay??) ahsdlfhs
Alex thinking Yassen wasn’t lying to him 😭 and he does seem to have kept the part about his dad a secret!
oh damn he wants to destroy Scorpia!! and Kyra also wanting him to, that could cause interesting conflict when he joins them later
also i forgot that Scorpia actually killed Ian in this lol
Kyra is going to do machine learning lol
Love the Alex/Kyra ship fuel with the hurt/comfort scene
ahslfhs how did they even find that villa tho? LIke I thought that was just the piece of wall Mrs Rothman was photographed in front of, surely that gives them no clues about where she’s staying?
And not to be mean but Kyra did kinda bring the stabbing on herself ashdflhs. Going off on her own because she got bored and then expecting Alex to do the fighting and treating the fight weirdly casually
It’s interesting how they seem to have changed Scorpia’s structure/origin story what with Mrs Rothman being elected and there being no client for this operation.
Them referencing Alex getting in with Tom setting fireworks in the books... i mean it's a nice reference but also actually that was more fun than Kyra just being able to hack their way in ngl ahsdlfhs. Not really the show’s fault, but modern tech & computer tricks make spy stories more boring
Also Alex just walked into the party in his suit and honestly this is one of those plots that only works because Otto is not a teenager. If he actually looked like a teen, he would have stood out waaaay too much (which was actually a concern in the book)
Alex grabbing champagne and later putting it back down again haha good way to blend in, I suppose
Getting his phone out?? In the exhibition?? So rude
Love the trend of doctors/scientists in Alex Rider wanting to be paid more for their work. Honestly they deserve it because they won’t even get to publish their extraordinary findings
��I can hear you breathe’ Love Nile
Nile please how are you surprised at Alex attacking you asdfs
Shame we didn’t get Nile overpowering him like in the books, the difference in their fighting skills was so much bigger there, but I think they made Alex more of a fighter in the show. In the books he mostly needs to rely on the element of surprise and usually when he’s in a fight he’s outmatched and needs to use some form of trickery/his environment to win while show!Alex actually has pretty good fighting skills
I love Nile’s actor but I wish he could have actually taken Alex down like in the book, the way he loses Alex and doesn’t even realise it & thinks he died makes him look a lot less competent tbh
How did Alex climb up there?? And more importantly, how is he getting down haha
I get the feeling Yassen isn't gonna show up until Alex is with Mrs Rothman lol but at least we got to hear his final words ot Alex like four times
Overall
Really exciting, love seeing Malta and I’m intrigued at the differences between the book and the show and where it will lead. 
Thoughts/predictions
I imagine the race Tom’s brother mentioned will play a role and I liked the little bit we got with Tom about his grades being bad and maybe wanting to drop out. I guess Tom’s parents aren’t going through their divorce in the show? Also really enjoyed Alex and Kyra being more invested in the investigation than Tom and how they are apparently planning to take down Scorpia for their families.
I liked how we got to see more from Julia Rothman and Scorpia already and I’m intrigued by what Invisible Sword will be. Love Max having his ‘I have grandkids now’ moment and trying to talk Julia Rothman down and her being like ‘no I want to kill’. Looooved Nile telling Mrs Rothman to shoot him if he ever lost the appetite for killing.
I also really liked Alex talking about his dad and how he had nothing to do with spying and how his world got turned upside down when he learned about his uncle being a spy and now it’s happening again.
Questions
What is Invisible Sword in this?
What’s the deal with Julia inheriting her place at the table? Not sure if I like the new origin story for Scorpia but I’m intrigued by the way they have a council now instead of an executive board and how it changes the vibes.
Are Alex and Tom and Kyra gonna fight?
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doublegoblin · 3 months
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A year and some change in retrospective
Okay so technically It’s like a year and 2 months and like a day. While I made the account and started posting things in November of 2022 I made my intro post on the 23rd of Jan last year so that’s when I’m going to count myself as having officially joined lol. I got thinking about this on my way into work today and I got a little reflective. I’m going to be kind of rambling (what else is new lol) but it dawned on me that, damn dude, a whole year is still like 300+ days and life can go wild directions. I also figured this may be nice for the newer people who have started to follow me (hello and thank you btw). Things won’t necessarily be in chronological order, I mean they might, but, I’m also liable to jump around.
So let’s start with some backstory, all good stories start with backstory yeah?
Me and my -at the time- bf(we’re still together lol just fiance now) were on our way to my aunt's wedding…running late actually because I had the day wrong and blah blah blah. To kill time on the 3hr car ride I started to spit ball this idea for a story I had brewing, that would then become Rituals and Red Tape. I was writing it for myself for a while as a way to deal with being let go from my last job. Well I then had the silly idea to maybe share this with people, so then we get to November and I make a profile and start posting.
That’s right, I started my path on here to be someone putting out original works of writing. I mean, if you go to my profile and check out the pinned post you’d know this but let’s be real, nobody really does that lol. And as those of you putting out original stuff also know, it can be pretty quiet at first. I had in my mind that I was just going to have my stuff on my blog, maybe reblog writing stuff only; that uh…didn’t last long. I’ve met some pretty cool people on here, even if we never really talk I’m happy to see your stuff cross my dash. It was the whole song and dance of you follow me and I follow you, support network stuff. Took part in tag games, an OC fighting tourney thing, and just some other fun things. All the while I’m posting little one-offs, a new WIP here and there…that I eventually just kinda stop working on in favor of my first child. 
I make a Wattpad and start posting what could be considered the 1.5 draft of the story. Things are fun, quiet, but fun
I start to engage in more fandom related things, because why not?
Then something happens, something that I didn’t think would take me in the direction I am going now.
I buy a $30 mic.
Voice acting and acting in general were always a passion of mine as a kid, and with a new stable job and comfy living I thought it was time to revisit some old joy. What was even better is that an artist I was following had a “casting call” for an animation she was working on. So with my little microphone and audacity(the program lol) I do the thing that changed my blog, I tried out…and I got a little part! I’ve never really been one to yearn for the spotlight but I took a chance and it worked out, and I was hooked after that.
So I started to use that mic more and more. First recording a short story of my own, recording a short story by a pal, then…well I guess you can call it doing some dub work.
Now in the past I had people follow me just out of the blue, but, with the first Five Pebbles recording it started to happen more and more. And those posts, well, they were getting some attention. Not a lot mind you, but like, more than the original works. Now I don’t say this with anger or bitterness, it’s just how stuff like this works out. So with what I thought was going to be a one-off thing, I knew I wanted to keep doing it. Yes the notoriety was fun, but more so, I was making something that was bringing people joy. So I recorded more, and more people saw it and liked it, reblogged it too.
Then I had that funny little idea. Something new to me that scratches a few itches at once. If you’ve followed me for THIS you know, the Kel Logs. Not only was I playing a game that I really enjoy(btw if you haven’t you should go play the game it is fun and but I won’t bog this down with info dumping), but I was doing some original writing and voice acting. It was the perfect storm.
Now I know I’m not the most well known person out there and this little fan fiction project isn’t like super famous, which I’m very okay with lol, but like the comments and stuff show I was having an impact on people in a small way. And it was having an effect on me, I was becoming more comfortable with my voice. Not going to sour the mood too much but I’ve struggled with voice dysphoria for a while and the joy I am able to bring people is so important to me, which I know sounds selfish.
So now here we are in the present, I know I’ve missed some stuff and simplified others, with people following me for fandom things and all that jazz. I thank every single one of you. Whenever my stuff get reblogged I do try my best to say something in the comments to those who say things in tags lol, sometimes tumblr won’t let me @ you but know I try. You all have no idea how much it means that I can bring joy to you and I don’t feel I can pay you all back other than to keep doing what I’m doing.
I haven’t worked on my original stuff in a while but I don’t think I’ll be tossing it to the side. In fact I know I won’t. I have a story I want to tell and it will be. So if you have any interest, please check it out and let me know what you all think. I want to always improve but I can’t know where to patch things up if I don’t hear about a leak lol. I’m getting super rambly so I’m gonna stop this here.
1 year later and I’ve gone from solely original writing to a strange hybrid of that and fandom stuff, and I couldn’t be happier with where I am.
So once again, thank you all so much for liking what I do and I hope to keep bringing you things to make you feel emotions.
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zalrb · 1 year
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Damn Damn Damn😏🖤❤️‍🔥 I don't know if it went through but I read the first Stefan elena katherine fic loved every moment only thing I would like to see more I want Stefan to conquer more kinda how bonnie masters kai in your fics and I want to see him TRULY let go maybe some ripper dont get me wrong always love the edging anticipation you fo for his character gonna make a seperate one for telling you how much I LOVE the smut scenese and the difference between his curiosity with Katherine and Unbridled love for Elena and only you can write it no one understands his character all sides, layers of it like you Zal. The New York Victorian esque ball so like Stefan to do all that for his godess Elena super hot her claiming her Greek God in the bookcase we all love atonement 😏🥰and yes it perfectly goes with Stelena, reminds me will you ever write a part 3 to that Stelena fic with water or something like that I love the old times tension and lust sexual tension forbidden etc. Stefan and Katherine you make her way more interesting the way she was in season 2 but wayy more fucked up reeking havoc with the men like it was supposed to be done pretty cool still want to drown her I want Stefan to get his satisfaction of conquering her fucking her than killing her I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind going out that way just something to think about not True Blood like though ew. You always have epic ideas also I understand Katherine's the older vampire but I really want Elena to kick her ass and get Stefan back actually fight for him like she's meant to maybe bring some of her human bravery not "training" with Alaric BS but actual guts like season 2. LOVED the argument was so amazing how I could hear their voices, and the Gifs went perfectly! These fics sometime hit home though I had a male won't say katherine she's too timid/ selfish to describe him more like a lighter Rosetta when I read that fic or bonkai but less dark definitely know what it's like to have someone fuck with your body and mind but you give you a high from it cause it's all you know but you eventually realize it's sick and he's sick and your sick that line REALLY got me your writing perfectly captures those relationships without romanticizing it you simply write it for what it is I LOVE it. Loved your Jax and Tara fic too super cute high-school while still giving the feel of charming and the impending danger of The club my eternal favorite author hope you get published one day if you wish it cause you deserve it love you ❤️You should know by now I write ALOT😂 but SO happy to be back to your blog work was KILLING me business before pleasure sometimes.
Wow, thank you :)
I want Stefan to conquer more kinda how bonnie masters kai in your fics and I want to see him TRULY let go maybe some ripper
Yeah, that's definitely being worked up to, it's just a bit of a longer path because in a way, when Stefan truly let's go that's a huge win for Katherine and that's something Stefan will fight instead of just do but once he does conquer her, that's going to get dark because he doesn't love her so how is she going to handle him letting go and giving in and still not giving her his heart? She's going to lose it, haha. Which is another thing, Katherine is built up to be this master manipulator and planner and always being one step ahead but she is completely irrational when it comes to Stefan, so.
I want Stefan to get his satisfaction of conquering her fucking her than killing her I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind going out that way just something to think about not True Blood like though ew.
It's funny that you bring this up, not that I was going to do this, but as I'm writing this and as I was writing about no humanity Stefan and Elena, I was like, they need to tell me how dark they can handle because I remember writing a really dark BK fic because people kept asking for a dark fic and then I got responses like this was too dark, Zal, and I was like LOL k my bad.
You always have epic ideas also I understand Katherine's the older vampire but I really want Elena to kick her ass and get Stefan back actually fight for him like she's meant to maybe
haha well like deeply jealous Elena may also not think quite clearly and who knows maybe she can be like Caroline .
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and Elena actually did best Katherine in 4x22, Stefan had to save her
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limitless-shadows · 2 years
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Who is your favorit Character out of Gofushi? Megumi or Gojo?
Hmm what a hard question, Anon-san;; Can I say I like both equally-
This post contains Shibuya spoilers.
There is a draft somewhere about why I appreciate Megumi and especially the title of his character theme "Jujutsu Sorcerer, Megumi Fushiguro".
I really like series that have morally grey characters because it's realistic. It is more interesting to read and analyze. Megumi knows that his sense of justice may not be "right", but he doesn't care about that. And I mean, what can be truly right? It's a matter of perspective in the end.
To have such conviction on his own judgement requires resolve. Because, what if the person you saved is actually bad? Megumi probably has a keen perception of people. It might be interesting to see if the manga touches more upon this topic (the whole Yuuji-Megumi angst on saving someone who will kill others in the future). But it's been done already, kinda? Anyway, someone that has a good grasp on the evil of people should also be able to see the good by contrast (this is my own belief tho... sort of like how "those that are the kindest have suffered a lot" works).
When Gojou tells Megumi that he won't measure up to even Nanami, that was like damn. Because Nanami once mentioned that when the effort you're putting is sufficient, there's no reason to go beyond it. I'm not saying that's wrong, it just reminded me of Megumi at the school festival who said something among the lines of: "As long as we don't get beaten up too bad." or "As long as we don't lose too bad."
This is a negative statement if you translate it as "he won't put a lot of effort" which contrasts with Nanami who will do more when needed against Megumi who when forced might just Mahoraga lul
Maybe this isn't the right example to use;; but anyway, when he decides to break free from that mentality of not giving his all, he is able to use his domain expansion. A technique that brings forth a sorcerer's innate domain into being. I think that this innate domain requires that the sorcerer has a meaning of self since it's sort of like showing your mind in the real world. This action demands the sorcerer to have a defined sense of existence, a formalized ego (?). And that's how he became a proper (?) sorcerer. Yer a jujutsushi, Megumi.
That last paragraph was probably confusing.
He discarded his old mentality and became stronger. Changing one's ego is hard after all.
Hmm, it still feels like I'm scratching the surface. Megumi post-Shibuya and in the culling games was a highlight to me. I won't go further into this since it spoils more;; But I was cheering after Megumi when he went into badass mode ;-; that character growth.
It's ironic because he became a sorcerer for another person, and even though it wasn't out of his own volition, his character theme's title recognizes that he is a Jujutsu Sorcerer.
He is also the smart type uwu and I like how he asks questions because he just wants to confirm his own thoughts instead of being nosy (as explained by Gege in the fanbook about the chapter "A taste of things to come"). That's right, let's go in the pursuit of truth!
Have I mentioned how I approve of his rule of interaction with strangers too? It's basic decency @_@
Uhm, yeah most likely there is stuff that I haven't gone into about Megumi, but I also mentioned that I like both equally;; Even though I haven't written a Gojou appreciation draft (yet?!) so I don't have a lot of references for it. Because of that, the next section might be all over the place OTL
I have a very soft spot for those that act dumb/happy but have gone through awful stuff in the past. They've been hurt but prefer to act as if they're okay to others.
WHEN IT IS NOT. LIKE, HECK, GOJOU, YOU JUST KILLED YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOU ACT ALL CHEERY/NORMAL IN FRONT OF YOUR STUDENTS. Bruh.
Putting up those walls to protect themselves, trying to not look weak/showing their true self in front of others. A misdirection to throw off people from what they are actually going through. Even though he is talkative, it's hard to get to know what he really thinks.
And he also had to check up on his students after the fight o_o his priorities.
He (most likely?) didn't have a good upbringing, what with being the 6E+L user after 400 years and solo carrying the Gojou clan on his back. Then he acknowledges that curse exorcism is not something that kids should go through and wishes for them to enjoy their youth (gee I wonder why). Remember how he changed the last event of the school festival to baseball? even though my shounen-loving ass wanted to see 1v1 tourn- reject jujutsushi, embrace a normal sport.
Overworked and... what hobbies? Gojou can be the best at anything he attempts, but he doesn't try so that others get an opportunity. Yeah, yeah, bragging hah, but if that's true then idk man, Gojou would not be living life, he is just existing ._. at least there are sweets and he can sightsee during work B)
Moreover, being good at anything he tries is kinda dooming.
The way he wants to change Jujutsu Society is also well thought out when compared with other propositions. I can't come up with elaborate essays so here is an interesting one. You can scroll to the last two paragraphs if it's long xd
Anyway, wanting to protect Riko's decision by fulfilling her own personal wish, the differentiation (or not) of being the strongest and Gojou Satoru (notlikethis Getou), his inability to save people despite being the strongest...
Yeah, it's kind of "funny" because his decisions lead to bad outcomes. Even though he did them because he is human after all. If they just brought Riko straight to Tengen then it (Tengen) wouldn't be going through digievolution, and maybe Kenjaku's plans would be different. But they didn't, he didn't want to, because he empathized with her.
He got sealed because he did appreciate the time when he was friends with Getou (and still considered him his friend after his defection).
Sometimes I enjoy the narratives where they characterize Gojou as someone that is akin to a god or that he isn't human, but I honestly think he is just a very weird and cringe human hahaha that's what being the 6E+L user does to a person. You grow up with high expectations placed by others. An adult that acts like a kid at 28 because he didn't have a childhood, and also, life is boring and tiresome so gotta do something fun every now and then.
Ugh the Gojou section is hard to follow >_< Anon-san, I rambled a lot, it's kinda all over the place haha;; and I didn't even answer who I like more which is strange because in other ships I have a favourite.
I like Megumi for his realistic views as a character (although he's too mature for a 15 yo) and even though he is all grumpy he truly cares about others (his gap is too good, I'm all for gaps), and I like Gojou because he is a complicated character. In the end, gofushi is truly a pair for me...
Ah gofushi >w< Megumi acts old for his age and Gojou acts young for his age, because of the way they grew up LOL (prob shouldn't be laughing about bad childhoods o_o)
All of this is based on my own thoughts so others with different views on the characters can disagree with what I wrote.
Thank you very much for the ask, Anon-san! The answer it's.. uuh kinda long I think;; Now I wonder which character people like out of gofushi? I'm quite interested in the why's owo
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h0tchner · 3 years
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Any Age, Any Day, Anywhere (Part 1) - aaron hotchner x fem!reader
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader
summary: WRITTEN FOR AN ANON REQUEST: "ok hi so u already wrote a jealous reader and was wondering whats your take on jealous hotch? i mostly see him in fics as possessive and yeah being the leader type i would think he could also be possessive but i also think that he would just be sad like ya know he doubts himself as we saw in some episodes and i think he would need assurance and a lot of convincing that u only love him but if you’ve given that to him then thats the time he would be possessive and god i would love to imagine a possessive and feral aaron hotchner"
word count: 3.5k
includes: kissing, so much freaking adorable fluff, talk of body insecurities, insecure!hotch, protective!hotch, wifey reader, super brief mentions of pregnancy, alcohol, confrontation with a drunk asshole (derek & hotch are all over it tho dw), party at papa rossi's!, smut to come in next chapter...
rating: 18+ (technically there is no smut in this part, but there are adult themes such as drinking, kissing, etc.).
a/n: HELLO BESTIES! This is part one of a two-part fic! The next part will be pure filth, so keep your eyes peeled for some feral hotch content... ALSO! PLS (!!!!!!!!!!!) interact if you liked this, rb, comment, like and/or send me a request if you have ideas for future fics! i love y’all! - rivka💞
“Aaron! Can you come here for a sec?” you call out to your husband from the bathroom, muttering curses under your breath as you try (and fail) for the third time to zip up the back of your black cocktail dress.
“Sure, I just need a minute,” he replies from the bedroom closet, securing the last opalescent button on the arm of his white dress shirt. He looks at himself in the closet mirror, zeroing in at the bags under his eyes and the sprinkling of grey in his stubble. He looks… tired. Tired and old. And he hates it.
Even though Aaron is only in his late-40s, he has lived lifetimes; years of working as Unit Chief of the BAU will do that to a man. Every horror he’s seen and every person he’s lost has weighed on his body and mind. In the past few months, amidst work changes and a new baby, he’s been exhausted and in fear that he’s letting himself go. Of course, being the stoic man that he is, he’s done his absolute best to hide these feelings from you. Tonight, however, he doesn’t know if he can. It’ll be your first night out together as a couple since welcoming baby girl Hotchner to the family four months ago. With no pressing family or work distractions, he just knows that you’ll be able to sense his apprehensions. It’s only a matter of when.
Taking in a breath, he turns a little to the side, frowning at his profile. Aaron winces a little at his “dad bod,” but quickly recovers from the discomfort, milliseconds after it flashes across his face.
“Aaron Hotchner get your handsome butt in here and help me zip my dress! We’re gonna be late,” you exclaim, trying one last time to reach the zipper before giving up and crossing your arms in defeat. You lean back lightly against the countertop facing the door, letting the fabric slip off your shoulders, and wait for your husband to rescue you from the hell that is this dress.
At the sound of your voice, Aaron snaps out of his trance. He shakes his head lightly, as if to physically erase the intrusive thoughts, and clears his throat. Grabbing his suit jacket off the hanger, he flicks off the closet light and closes the door behind him.
Languidly, he meanders from the closet toward the bathroom. He drags his feet a little longer than he normally would, still feeling off and a little bit shy about his appearance.
“Aaron,” you sing, “I’m waiting for –,” your jaw drops mid-sentence when Aaron appears in the doorway.
“Oh fuck,” you breathe out before you can stop yourself, eyes widening at the sight of the gorgeous man in front of you.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, crossing over to you, searching your face for any ounce of reprieve.
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong,” you’re quick to reply, standing from your leaning position to meet him, holding out your hands.
He takes them in his own, cocking his head slightly, his soft hazel eyes boring into yours.
You shift forward, moving up on your toes to peck his soft pink lips.
He sighs into the kiss, feeling the warmth of your lips against his own. It feels so good that it almost makes him forget about how he is feeling… almost. But the dark thoughts come back, and he pulls away from you a bit, reluctantly.
Aaron clears his throat.
“You called me?” He questions, but it sounds more like a fact.
“Yeah,” you give his hands a squeeze. “I needed you to zip up my dress, but now,” you lean in again, “I kinda want you to rip it off me.” You offer him a sultry smirk, moving your hands up to rest on his broad chest. He moves his hands to settle on your hips.
You lick your lips and let your eyes rake over his body, taking in every ounce of his sexy frame. The way his crisp, white dress shirt hugs his solid body makes you go weak in the knees. His strong, toned legs in those black dress pants? Yes please. His soft black hair and salt and pepper stubble on his face are practically begging to be touched. He looks good. Damn good.
“You look…” you pause, tapping a finger lightly against his pectoral, searching for the right word, “…delicious.”
Aaron blushes lightly at your ogling, offering you a sad smile as he squeezes his eyes shut out of embarrassment.
You sense the falter in his demeanor, knowing that there’s something else nagging at him far beyond his usual flustering when you vocalize your attraction to him.
“Honey,” you implore, looping your hands around his neck to bring his forehead down to touch yours. “What’s going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?”
“It’s nothing,” he mutters, swallowing, rubbing soft circles into your sides.
“It’s something,” you counter, carding a hand through his hair at the nape of his neck. You scratch lightly at his scalp, waiting for him to speak. You’ve learned that the best thing to do when Aaron gets in a mood is to give him some time to gather his thoughts. Keeping him close, physically, is a way to show him some comfort without pressuring him to speak. It encourages him, without words, that your arms are a safe place.
“I don’t…” he starts, and then stops himself. His dark eyebrows furrow and his mouth presses into a thin line.
“Mhm?” you question, fingers still tangled in his thick, black locks.
He pulls his forehead away from yours and locks eyes with you. You let your hands be still now, a silent gesture to show him that you’re listening.
He takes in a breath.
“I don’t look the way I used to,” he says quietly, shifting his eyes away from yours.
“What do you mean,” you urge him to continue.
“I mean, I don’t look like I did five years ago. Two years ago. Four months ago. I mean, I was practically a different man when we first met. I was younger, fitter…” he trails off, visibly upset.
“Yes, Aaron, you were,” you agree, keeping your tone temperate.
His eyes snap to yours, confused. It’s clear that was not what he was expecting you to say.
“You were a different man,” you continue gently, resuming your pacifying touch in his hair, “and I was a different woman.”
Aaron lets out a huff.
“Do you love me any less now than you did five years ago?” You ask him.
“Of course not,” he’s quick to answer.
“Why is that?” You prod.
“You’re gorgeous, inside and out. You’re funny, smart, loving…” he begins, but you interrupt him before he can go on.
“And,” you butt in, “if I were to go completely grey, gain thirty pounds, and only wear a potato sack to work every day would you love me any less?”
Aaron huffs again, but this time he’s fighting a smile. He’s starting to catch on. You watch as a spark of levity returns to his eyes. He holds you a little tighter.
“No. There’s nothing you could do or say to make me love you any less,” he grumbles in annoyance, but his upturned lip and matching eyebrow tell a different story.
“Ditto, baby,” you smile up at him. “I love you at any age, any day, anywhere, and there is nothing in the world that can make me change my mind.”
He dips down then, capturing you in a kiss, grinning against your lips.
You giggle as Aaron works his way down your jawline and neck, gasping as he kisses the soft skin at the junction of your neck and shoulder, thick fingers gripping the sides of your hips. He moves his lips back up to your earlobe, nipping at it lightly as you let out another soft gasp.
“You always know the right thing to say,” he whispers into your ear, pressing another kiss right underneath it.
“Aaron, I know I said I wanted you to take this dress off me,” you say breathlessly as Aaron nips at your shoulder again, “but Rossi will kill us if we don’t show up tonight. Plus, I really want the chance to show off my super sexy FBI husband. It’s been far too long.”
He lets out a low groan into your skin and gives your hips a squeeze, nuzzling his head into your neck.
“Yeah,” he mumbles, “you’re right.”
“Aren’t I always,” you snort, eliciting a chuckle from your husband as you turn around in his arms to let him zip you up.
He takes his time, letting his fingers brush lightly over your spine as he draws the zipper over your back. When he’s done and the clasp is latched, he kisses one shoulder lightly, and then the other.
“Thank you,” you whisper, leaning back against his warm body.
“No, honey,” he kisses the top of your head, “thank you.”
_____________________________________________________________
By the time you and Aaron arrive at Rossi’s mansion, the party is already in full swing. Judging by the number of cars in the makeshift parking lot on his spacious front lawn, there must be at least fifty, maybe even a hundred people here.
Despite the bustle of the evening, it doesn’t take long for you two to find Emily, Penelope, and Derek in the living room, drinks in hand, snacking on some very expensive looking food.
“Hey, look! It’s the Hotchners!” Emily cheers, teetering on the arm of the leather couch, wine glass in hand.
“Hello beautiful BAU power-couple!” Penelope chimes in from the seat next to her, cuddled up into Derek’s side.
You laugh and let go of Aaron’s hand, walking over to greet your friends.
“Hey hot stuff, look at you, look at you!” Derek chimes in, eyeing you up and down before standing to shake Aaron’s hand.
“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes at him as you give Emily a big hug.
“And you don’t look bad yourself, boss man!” Derek adds.
You shoot your husband an ‘I told you so’ look over your shoulder, before untangling your arms from Emily and giving Penelope an equally enthusiastic squeeze.
“It’s good to see you all,” Aaron smiles lightly, all dimples in the low light. He steps in to give Emily and Penelope soft hugs.
“Let’s go get you a drink,” Derek says to Aaron, clapping him on the back.
“White?” Aaron looks to you, even though he already knows the answer.
“Yes please,” you respond, “thank you.”
“Be back soon,” he smiles easily, kissing your cheek, making your heart ache.
Aaron and Derek turn and exit the room together.
Penelope drunkenly pats the seat next to her, and you plop down on the couch.
“We’ve missed you like this!” Emily exclaims, gesturing between the three of you and around the room. “I can’t believe we’ve had to wait nine whole months plusanother four just to have a drink with our best friend again.”
You laugh at her, tilting your head back lightly. “Well, you guys got a beautiful little niece out of it, doesn’t that make up for all the wild girl’s nights I missed?”
Emily sighs, dramatically, “I guess so,” she jests.
“Oh, for sure.” Penelope adds. “You look freaking gorgeous, by the way. I mean, I would have never guessed you were creating a tiny human in that body only a few months ago!”
You blush lightly at her words, “You flatter me far too much, Pen. I owe this,” you gesture down at your figure, “all to Spanx!”
“Amen!” Emily toasts. You raise an imaginary glass to theirs and pretend to clink, taking a swig of invisible liquid.
“Are J.J. and Will here?” You ask them after they’ve had a few more sips of their wine.
“Yeah, yeah,” Emily nods, “they’re around somewhere.”
You take a moment and look around the room, taking in all the sights and the sounds of the party. You see some faces you recognize from around the bureau, but others you don’t. Just as you’re about to turn back to your friends, someone catches your eye. One face stands out from the crowd: he’s a young, suave-looking man in a sharp navy suit. Sandy hair perfectly gelled, shiny brown loafers, and bright blue eyes looking right at you. In another life you would have been exhilarated by his attention, apparent charm, and good looks, but now? Now, you’re married to the love of your life with an amazing stepson and a wonderful baby girl. His wolfish gaze means absolutely nothing to you. You simply flash him a curt smile and turn back to Emily and Penelope without a second thought.
You and your friends resume your chatter, waiting for the men to return with more drinks... only they don’t. Perhaps its “new mother anxiety” talking, but the longer your husband is gone, the more you start to grow concerned. A few more minutes pass of antics, laughter, and catching up until the nagging voice in the back of your head turns into an all-out scream. All you know is that you’re suddenly feeling very overwhelmed need to be with Aaron. So, you announce to your friends that you’re going to hunt down Derek and your husband.
You stand from the couch and smooth out the skirt of your dress with the promise to be back in a few minutes.
You walk out of the living room and into the grand foyer, following the same route as Aaron had earlier. Your black kitten heels click on the marble flooring, the skirt of your dress swishing lightly as you walk with purpose towards the kitchen. You’re so concentrated on reaching your destination that you don’t realize the man who had been watching you in the living room was now hot at your heels, following you through the house. It’s only when a hand reaches out and jerks your arm backward that you stop, startled, just past the grand staircase, turning face to face with him.
“You’re not an easy woman to get alone,” he smirks, reeking of alcohol, still gripping your arm, tight. Up close he is decidedly not as handsome as the low light of the living room made him seem. In fact, he seems… creepy. Really, really, really, creepy.
“Can I help you?” You blink at him, pulling your arm out of his vice grip.
“You sure can, baby,” he steps closer to you, voice oozing with sleaze. You gag at the liquor on his breath.
Moving away, you scowl at him, crossing your arms across your chest.
“What’s say you and I head upstairs for a little while? I’m dying to get my hands on your body.” He jerks his head toward the staircase, reaching out to grab your arm again.
You’re fuming at this point, ready give him a piece of your mind when a stern voice beats you to it.
“Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?” Aaron articulates, approaching you both with Derek not far behind.
You breathe a sigh of relief as your husband glares at the drunken man vengefully, coming to stand by your side. Aaron pulls you into him, roughly, hand tight around your waist. The anger radiating off your husband is equally terrifying and HOT.
“Take a walk, man,” Derek adds in, coming to stand next to the drunken asshole. The man looks from you, to Aaron, then over to Derek, and finally back at you.
“Whatever,” the man grumbles, putting his hands up, “she’s not worth it anyway. Not pretty enough for the hassle. I just thought she looked like an easy lay.”
“That’s enough,” Aaron snaps, seething. “Leave now, before I make you,” your husband growls. He angles his body forward so you’re slightly behind him. A shiver passes through you at his fierce protectiveness.
“Fine, I’m going to get another drink,” the man utters.
“No,” Aaron interjects, “the party. Leave the party or I’ll have you removed.”
“What’s your problem?” The creepy man retorts, this time, more confrontationally.
“My problem?” Aaron says, angrily. You feel his entire body tense at the accusation.
“Hotch,” Derek warns, “I’ll take care of it. You guys go enjoy yourselves. Forget about him.”
“Come on, Aaron,” you tug on his suit jacket lightly, eyes pleading… but Aaron doesn’t budge from his spot. He only holds you tighter as he continues to stare down the man as Derek ushers him away and towards the front door. He doesn’t falter until they are out of sight.
“Aaron?” You repeat.
He looks down at you, finally, blinking away the fury until all that’s left is an all-consuming love. He releases you from his protective hold, and you face him.
“I’m okay,” you assure him in earnest, letting out a shaky breath.
“Honey, I’m so sorry,” he breathes, bringing his hands up to cup your face.
“Aaron, it’s okay, really,” you bite your lip, shifting your eyes away from his.
“You’re so beautiful,” Aaron kisses your forehead, and then the top of your head. “So, so beautiful, and I’m so sorry.”
“Aaron, can we just go home?” You ask.
“Sure,” he kisses your head one last time before weaving his fingers between yours and guiding you gently toward the back exit.
_____________________________________________________________
The car ride home is quiet. The only sounds are the occasional click of the turn signal, and the hum of the wheels on the road. Aaron is still upset, and so are you, but you’re also… something else. Something you can’t quite put your finger on. You feel guilty for ruining the evening, guilty that you FEEL guilty for something you had no control over, hungry, tired, and… horny? Oh, and guilty for feeling horny.
It isn’t helping that one of Aaron’s hands is planted firmly on your thigh. He lifts it only to adjust the air conditioning or to scratch his nose, but otherwise it remains on you the whole way home. When he pulls into the driveway of your shared house, and shuts the car off, he still doesn’t move it.
“Honey?” You turn your head to look at him. His eyes are closed. You take in the strong features of his profile, noting the prominence of his nose and the way his eyelashes rest on his high cheekbones.
“I almost punched him.” Aaron whispers, opening his eyes to look over at you sheepishly.
“You what,” you exhale, mouth slightly agape.
“That guy,” he continues, bringing his left hand up to pinch his nose. “I almost punched him for saying that about you.”
You snort, amused by his confession.
Your husband lets out a short laugh, squeezing your thigh as he does.
“I would’ve liked to see that.” You’re grinning now and so is he.
He flashes his eyes at you and laughs again, this time less anxiously. You join him, feeling the tension dissipate with every passing moment.
“My big, bad FBI man decking a barely-legal drunk dickhead for making a move on his wife? Where can I get my tickets?” You joke.
As you say the words “his wife,” Aaron’s breath hitches in his throat. His hand on your thigh presses down instinctively. Neither of his reactions go unnoticed.
You lay a hand over his where it rests on your leg.
“You know, Aaron,” you begin.
He looks over at you, jaw tight, but this time it isn’t from anger.
“This is the first time we’ve had the house all to ourselves in months,” you pull his hand off you and bring it up to your lips. You press a kiss to his palm, and then to his wrist.
“This… is true,” he breathes out, studying you, taking you in.
“So, I’m just wondering:” you grin, linking your fingers with his, “are you going to carry your wife into our house, Aaron? Or do I have to walk myself?”
432 notes · View notes
shurisneakers · 3 years
Text
harmless (x)
Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)
Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety, smidge of angst, mentions of violence
Word count: 7.8k (i went overboard. clearly.)
A/N: as well all know, i am a humanities student writing science geeks. if any of this sounds unrealistic or nonsensical, it’s because it is and i am honestly too exhausted to research data privacy and AI so here’s my take on how STEM should work i.e. the power of friendship  <3 major shoutout to @iamlittlesparkler for the idea for this chapter!
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Previous Part  || Series Masterlist
“As you know, we have a busy week ahead of us.” 
Coffees line the conference room table, pens click against the stacks of paper that settle in front of various agents and the smell of deodorant mixed with post-training sweat lingers at the back of the room like a disgusting witch concoction. 
“The annual parade is coming up and since there are a few security threats, SHIELD has been asked to step in. Therefore, all of you will be working security this week, possibly even at the parade.” Murmurs broke out in the room the minute this was said; mostly from first year field agents who were way too excited to have earpieces and fingerless gloves. 
Bucky, on the other hand, doesn’t think much of it. They’ve dealt with threats before, most were declared empty the minute it got out that SHIELD or the Avengers were involved. It’s the 12th one that year. 
“That’s only if we don’t catch it first,” Steve continued. “Our first priority is precaution. The tech and analytics teams are working on it. However, if you see anything suspicious, bring it up with Director Fury. He’s going to be around to make sure we’re not overlooking anything. Do you have any questions?”
More whispers erupted at the mention of Fury’s name. Wait till they realise he lives up to his name when they accidentally manage to set him off just by existing incorrectly.
Bucky smirks at the thought.
“You can leave then.” Steve straightens up as chairs shuffle against the carpeted floor, over twenty people leaving the room.
“And remember, if you see an eagle today, be sure to stand there and thank it on behalf of Steve for its service. Freedom! Liberty! And whatever else,” Tony calls out from the corner of the room, earning a sigh from the captain. Others only snicker as they close the door behind them.
“Thanks.” Steve stares at him stone faced, bemused at the symbolism that had been bestowed upon him.
“Gotta keep the patriotism high.” The only ones that remain are the official team. Bucky thinks that he should have left with the other agents but apparently, it was rude and not a good show of team spirit.
“How serious is this threat anyway?” Clint has his head face down on the table, hand holding his to-go coffee cup so it doesn’t fall over. 
“We’re not sure.” Steve finally takes a seat on the chair in front of him. “It’s the biggest event we’ve had this year, wouldn’t put it past them.”
“If it’s those Welsh kids again, I’m gonna punch a hole through their house this time,” Clint warns, voice muffled through the furniture. 
“It’s not them, we checked.” Nat had her leg up on the armrest of Clint’s chair. “Tech team’s been working overtime to figure it out.”
“You have anything that could help?” Sam sends a nod towards Tony.
“I got a few things but it’d take a while to put it together.” 
“Didn’t you learn quantum physics in a night?” Wanda’s picking apart a cookie into pieces, chewing slowly.
“Thermodynamic astrophysics,” he corrects her. “Quantum science took lesser.”
Bucky scoffs slightly at the brag, eyes still trained on the table in front of him. Maybe if he made no noise, they would forget he’s here.
“Yeah, so this should be a piece’a cake.”  
“If your cake was somehow made out of a highly specified tracker that somehow doesn’t violate the data privacy of the entire world while analysing millions of terabytes worth of information, then yeah. A piece of it.”
“What he means to say-” Bruce interjects, “-is that we’re trying. It’s just taking longer than usual.”
“Well, the parade’s this Sunday. Think it’ll be done by then?”
“Hey FRIDAY,” Tony crosses his arm over his chest. “How many hours have I slept this week?”
“Three and a half, boss.”
“How much more will I be getting?”
“From previous experience, about six.”
“Yeah, we can get it done.” Tony looks back at Steve. 
“Ask someone on the tech team to help you out.” Everyone was well aware of Tony’s bad coping mechanisms and how futile it was to get him to change his mind about it, but they still tried.
“They’re too busy.” Bruce pressed his lips into a straight line. 
Bucky tunes out at this point. If he could help, he would have reluctantly chimed in by now, but he couldn’t. 
“So what now?” Sam rips Clint’s doughnut into two, keeping one half for himself while leaving the other to the latter who still hadn’t lifted his head up from the table.
“I actually asked Fury if I could call in an external to come help,” Tony pipes up. 
“And he agreed?” Nat raised an eyebrow.
“After he realised I wasn’t going to leave his office until he said yes.” He pulled out his phone, rapidly typing out a message before hitting send. “It didn’t take too long.”
“Do we know this person?” Steve asks a little suspiciously.
“Well-” Bruce sneaks a glance at the broody man on the chair, “-kinda.”
Everyone can tell Bucky isn’t paying attention by the way he’s glaring holes into the plant. He doesn’t mean to, it just so happens that it looks like he wants to kill it. Nobody tends to bother him during meetings, knowing well and fully that he did not care.
“You’re about to.” Tony jumps up, making his way to the door to pull it open.
Bucky perks up. An open door means they can leave, right? He can go watch The Bachelor? He’s not sure what everyone was talking about, but if the meeting was over he could go ask Wanda who was always kind enough to help.
“Our newest recruit,” the billionaire announces, quickly adding the next part, “on a trial basis.” 
Bucky looks at the door.
His jaw drops open.
“No,” he says loudly, posture immediately stiff as a plank. 
“Hello to you too, Barnes.” You roll your eyes before sending a small wave to everyone else. “Hey everyone.”
“What are you doing here?” He looks like he’s seething. 
“Don’t tell me you forgot about our date.” You cross your arms over your chest in defiance. “You told me 3 o’clock, you player.”
“What is she doing here?” He whips to Steve for an answer.
“Hey Y/N,” Sam greets with a smile on his face before Steve can reply.
“Sam Wilson, good to see you again.” You grin.
“Right back at ya, sugar.” 
Wanda looks amused, Clint finally lifts his head off the table at the mention of your name while Nat takes her feet off his armrest, and Steve’s body relaxes when he realises what’s going on. 
“Okay.” Tony claps his hand. Bucky shoots daggers at him. “As you all know, this is Y/N. She’s going to working with us this week.”
“This is ridi- how did you even find out about her?”
“Aside from the fact that she’s all you talk about?” Clint snorts. Bucky shifts his glare to him. It was bullshit and an exaggeration and Clint was going to get a shoe up his ass very soon.
Your grin only grows bigger.
“We saw one of the repulsors she made some time ago,” Bruce answers his question like the sane person that he is. “Tony’s had her in mind for a while.”
“Repulsors? How on ear-” Bucky connects two and two together before turning to Sam. “You. You got her this job.”
“Sam’s my best wingman.” You send him a small heart made from your hands. Whether the pun was intentional or not, no one would know.
“Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with this idea.” Sam raised his hands to brush off the blame.
“You’re a villain,” he points out loudly.
“I’m a saint.” You raise your hand to your heart in mock offence. “I have done nothing wrong in my life, ever.”
“Listen, Robocop,” Tony interrupts your conversation, bringing the attention back to him, “I cleared it with Fury. He’s the boss here.”
“Fury doesn’t know-”
“What don’t I know?” The atmosphere of the room changes the minute he saunters in. 
With an eyepatch on his face, gaze sharp and a long black coat, Nick Fury puts Bucky’s dark outfits to shame. Not like he was competing. 
Bucky doesn’t continue his sentence. Nick’s imposing presence loomed at the doorway, putting a stop to the ridiculous arguments that were beginning to boil. Instead, he looks at you, only to find your attention trained on the man of the hour.
“Nicholas,” you half cheer from where you had shifted to in the middle of all the commotion. 
Nicholas?
Nicholas?
No one had ever called him Nicholas. 
“Y/L/N,” Nick addresses in return. “Been a while.”
“You haven’t come to the lair in months, Nick.” You pout at him. “I even sent you an invite.”
Bucky furrows his eyebrows. Since when are you on such good terms with Fury? Since when was anyone on good terms with Fury?
“It must have gotten lost in the mail,” he fires back, “Or maybe it’s because I just happen to be the busiest man in the damn country. Take your pick.”
You roll your eyes, muttering something under your breath, but the good natured smile on your face shows that you didn’t take any of his passive- or straight up- aggressiveness to heart. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was interrupting your little tea time.” He looks around the rest of the room with an edge in his voice. “Don’t you all have work to do?”
“We do,” Tony interrupts, holding up his hand before pointing to Bruce and you. “Everyone else just sorta sits around and looks pretty.”
“I’m gonna go talk to the organisers, see what spots are most vulnerable.” Steve stands up. “You coming?”
“Yep,” Sam responds, flicking Clint’s shoulder to drag him along. “Come on, man. When was the last time you took a shower?”
“I’ll go see what the kids are up to in training. They’re probably flying off the handle right now.” Natasha brushes off crumbs from her lap. “Barnes, you in?”
Bucky silently shakes his head, eyes focused on you as you introduce yourself to every Avenger who walks out of the room, sharing a small fist bump with Sam.
“I’ll do it,” Wanda volunteers instead, finally leaving behind only the Science Bros, you and Bucky in the room with Fury. 
“I’ll give you a tour of the lab.” Tony beckons and you nod, following him. “New eyepatch, Fury? Prada, I assume?”
“Stark,” Nick says curtly. 
Bucky stares after you, arms still folded across his chest.
“Any problem, Sergeant?” 
Other than the fact that his arch nemesis was now working with his friends, no, not really. But that did seem like a pretty big one.
“No,” Bucky mumbles instead, getting up from his place finally.
Apparently, no one else was worried about the possibly lethal combination of you and Stark, even with Banner there to dilute it. 
Fine.
Guess he just has to observe you the whole week.
Well, half a week. It was Wednesday. 
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He observes inconspicuously over the rim of his coffee cup. He has a newspaper spread in front of him at Bruce’s table. 
It’s not suspicious. He’s been there multiple times to sit in silence with the scientist who occasionally tinkers with something while engaging Bucky in tidbits of conversation. He finds it calming, refreshing even
Today he has an agenda. Everyone knows about it too. 
“You know he’s staring at you, right?” Bruce looks up briefly from the giant blueprint laid in front of the group. 
Tony had been dragged away to get a proper meal into him after he stayed up for 36 hours straight with caffeine keeping his system running. 
“He has a tendency to do that.” You’re looking over the plan the three of you had come up with the day before. There were certain changes to be made in terms of efficiency. “Turns out if you annoy him, he stares harder.”
“We’ve heard about the inventions. Inators, he calls them?”
“Yeah,” you point out something on the sheet, drawing a circle around it to come back to later, “only good things I hope?”
“He doesn’t really talk much.” Bruce writes down a small comment against your arrow mark. “But if he hated them, he’d have a lot to say. So I’d take it as a compliment.”
“Would it annoy him if I did?”
“Probably.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment, then. Pass me the ruler?” You draw a line connecting two pieces. 
Bucky’s ability to lip read is excellent but he refuses to do it, for privacy purposes. He knew that SHIELD had pulled some strings and had another teacher substituting for your classes the whole week since your other option was to come only after school hours. Anything else about this plan was murky.
“You gonna sit there all day?” Tony looks over his shoulder, following his line of sight.
“I’ve done it before.” He continues to look over the newspaper at you with your finger extended at something on the blueprint as you explained something to Bruce.
“You look like- how do I say this nicely.” He wasn’t going to. “A fuckin’ stalker.”
“I’m supposed to stop her from doing anything evil.”
“Sure.” Tony snorts. “That’s what this is. Should I get you a fedora and sunglasses while we’re at it?”
Of course Stark wouldn’t care; he brought you into this project. It was pretty much impossible to get him to agree with Bucky.
Bucky just narrows his eyes and continues his observation. 
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The menu of the cafeteria keeps changing. They like to keep things interesting.
Every time they do, Bucky spends too long staring at the menu, trying to figure out what exactly is familiar enough to order. Vietnamese week had him eating pho the entire duration it stayed.
“You plannin’ on eating anytime this century, sarge?” He recognises your voice immediately. 
He knows what time your break is and he knows that you generally eat lunch in the cafeteria with the science team. Generally, the three of you pour over solutions and debate points all through the meal, and he spends the time getting acquainted with his new, lowkey Instagram account. 
He blocks the Bucky Barnes hashtag the minute he gets an account again. God save his eyes from people asking him to break their back like a glow-stick. However, one afternoon of accidentally watching three cat videos has led to his entire explore page being taken over by them and he’s been trying for three days to get it to stop. 
“Just trying to-” he tilts his head. “-understand what I’m reading.”
“Not a big fan of Greek food?” You join him in looking at the menu. 
“Never really had the chance to try.” Tony and Bruce don’t seem to be in the room, probably pushing aside their meal to work on it as they’ve often done.
“Ah.” You already had your order in mind but you wait there. 
Two minutes later he’s still staring at the menu. He can feel your presence next to him, unmoving. It unnerves him.
“Why are you still standing here?” He cranes his neck to look at you.
“I’m just seeing how long it takes for you to order.” You shrug. “So far it’s been five minutes and forty six seconds. Forty eight now.”
“Go away.” The concept of someone standing beside him, waiting for him to do something reminded him far too much of him trying to bag his stuff at the grocery counter rapidly while other customers waited to pay. 
“Six minutes and thirty seconds. This is just sad now.”
“Your face is sad.” It was pathetic that he had now resorted to this.
It earned a laugh from you. 
As entertaining as it was to be able to get on his nerves by just standing silently next to him, you finally ask, “Do you want a recommendation?” 
He eyes you wearily. “You gonna give me food poisoning?” 
“Not today, no.” You shake your head slightly. “Maybe tomorrow.”
He stares a little longer. You remain unshaken in your offer.
“Fine.” He sighs, stepping aside. 
You tell him that since it’s his first time, you’d get him something basic. He thought it made sense. 
He argued with you when you ended up paying for the both of you, only shutting up when you told him he’s holding up the line and that he could pay you back later. It doesn’t stop his incessant mumble complaining. 
He ends up with gyros at his table and you sitting opposite him with your meal. He asks where the Science Bros are. You tell him it’s Science Hoes now, as christened by Tony, and that they’re in the lab.
“So?” You look at him eagerly.
“What?”
“How is it?” you urge, nodding at him.
He takes a cautious bite, really taking his time with it to annoy your impatient ass. 
“Well?” You raise your eyebrow at him.
“It’s-” he pauses, looking down at his food. “-good.”
“Aha.” You lean back victoriously. “Knew it.”
He likes it. He also knows that this is probably going to be the only thing he orders for the next week unless you had planned otherwise. 
“You’re not eating?” He gestures to your untouched tray.
“Taking it up to the lab. Got a few things to work on and we’re already behind.” You gather up your stuff and get up.
“Uh-” he pauses from practically inhaling the entire thing. He was already halfway done with it. “-thanks.”
“No problem. You wink at him. “Try figuring out what’s wrong with it.” 
You turn on your heel to leave, taking your order with you. He can see your shoulders bobbing with silent laughter. 
He stares down at his plate, swallowing slowly. 
He pokes at it with a fork, lifting up the leftovers to check if there’s anything underneath. Nothing. 
He checks to see if his limbs are still intact or his face was a different colour. Nope.
His stomach twists in worry about what’s going to happen. He still has a bit left but he pushes the tray aside.
The rest of the day he spends supervising you has you occasionally catching his eye, only to laugh. It only freaks him out more.
It takes eight hours of waiting and self induced tests later to realise there was nothing wrong with it. You were just playing with him.
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He’s surprised to find you in the rec room when he strolls in with Sam, given that you haven’t taken a break all day.
You don’t share the same surprise... almost like you expected him.
“How long have you been waiting for me?” he immediately asks.
"I wasn’t here for you.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Heard that Wilson was makin’ an appearance here soon so I stopped by to get a good look at him."
"Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Sam laughs, inserting a dollar into the machine and punching in the code for what he wanted.
"Gladly. Strike a pose, would you?" You grin, raising your phone.
“Maybe when I’m not covered in sweat.” Sam counter offers and you accept with a thumbs up.
“You going to the parade, Sam?” You toy with the can in your hands.
“I’ll be working security, so probably.”
“Sarge?” You take a swig of your drink.
“Huh?” He snaps back into the conversation, putting a stop to the mental list of reasons he was making of why you could be here at the same time as him. He knew your schedule, it wouldn’t be very hard for you to figure out his.
“You coming to the parade on Sunday?” you ask again.
“I guess.”
You wince.
“What?” he asks instantly, curiosity making him a lot sloppier than usual.
“It’s just- you wear so much black.” You gesture to his current getup to prove your point. ”I feel like all the bright colours would vaporise you if you looked at them.”
He doesn’t look amused.
“You know, like Prince Philip.”
“I think I’ll be fine.” He gives you a sarcastic smile.
“You comin’ Buck?” Sam laughs, unwrapping the bar he bought from the machine.
“You go ahead, I’ll catch up,” Bucky says offhandedly, still glaring at you innocently drinking your soda.
Sam chews absentmindedly on his protein bar as he walks out, amused at the situation Bucky pulled himself into.
“What’d you do?” Bucky asks, studying your body language.
“I bought a soda.” You lift the can to prove your point. “And now I’m drinking it.”
“Why are you waiting for me?”
“I thought I’d return the favour,” you point out. “I’m supervising you.”
“Don’t.” He walks to the vending machine, pulling out his wallet for some loose change. There was a Snickers bar he had been craving since morning that he bought every alternate day. Small joys.
“Why? I have the time.” You take a sip, setting it down with a clang.
“You’re only here for this week.” Bucky counted the coins he had. He’d use a dollar but he was trying to get rid of the jingling in his pocket that made him sound like a fucking clown when he walked.
“Actually,” you begin innocuously, “Tony offered me a full-time position.”
Bucky’s movements stop, hunched over the money in his palm.
“What?”
“Yeah.” You nod seriously. “A full nine-to-five as a researcher here.”
“And you’re taking it.” He shakes himself out of the minor shock to assess the damage.
“I don’t know. I got a lot of things to consider.” The chair scrapes against the tiled floor as you stand up. “But maybe you should get used to seeing me a lot more around here.”
He punches in the code for his Snickers. The row whirs forward slowly.
“See you at the lab.” He hears you discard the empty can in the trash before exiting.
He waits patiently for his bar to drop while his mind internally screams about the consequences of having you work here. You wouldn’t be evil anymore. Unless you were here to steal secrets from the Tower. On the pro side, his weekend would be free again. On the con side, his weekend would be free again.
His bar stops right at the edge of the row. He waits for it to fall over. It doesn’t.
He shakes the machine, suppressing the primal urge to beat the shit out of it when the damn bar refuses to fall.
He punches in a few random buttons hoping that at least it would give his money back.
The little monitor instead flashes a new message across the screen.
‘Have a good day, sarge <3’
Motherfucker.
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Captain America looks less daunting up close, you realise. But he is still a very large man with very large shoulders. You know at least four people who would like to scale him like a tree, not that you’d ever tell him.
“Hey, Y/N.” He sends you a small smile when you walk into the room for a mid-week update. A clipboard in your hand, report attached and a few stationery items in case some points needed to be noted done, you look professional and ready.
“Afternoon, Captain.” Tony saves a seat for you and Bruce beside him since you’re on the same project. You almost miss the fact that Bucky isn’t in the room.
He walks in a few minutes late; tall, dark and brooding, immediately bringing the excitement in the room down by 40% by just existing. 
Bucky surveys the room before catching your eye. He picks up his chair with ease and drags it over to where you are, sitting right beside you, ignoring the small cry of protest from an agent whose view he now obstructed. Everyone else just silently shifted over.
“Clingy much?” you whisper at him, eyes still trained on Steve who had waited till everyone was seated to continue.
“I’m supposed t’be keeping an eye on you,” he rebuffs in a hush.
“Well, you’re late. What if I went rogue, huh?”
“Therapy ran overtime,” he mumbles.
“Oh.” You blink. “How was it?”
“Same old.”
“You good?”
He refrains from answering when Steve starts addressing the room but yes, he was fine. He sends you a nod to confirm. 
“This is just a usual checking in. We’ve received all your reports, but just to keep everyone on the same page-”
Bucky logs out mentally. He knows what his job is, he’ll probably lead a division of the security team or join the mission to neutralise the threat in case they find it first. Either way, he’ll figure it out without having to listen to an intern nervously stammer their way through their team’s report. 
On the other hand, you’re not listening either. You were until you saw Bucky’s eyes glaze over while glowering at the window, assuming that he had stopped paying attention when his gaze doesn’t shift.
You should be listening. You’re new here and you should know what’s going on because any bits of detail are crucial to the working of your system. 
Instead, you rip out a sticky note and discreetly place it on the back of Bucky’s metal arm. He doesn’t notice.
You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling. More post-its from your pile of stationery make their way onto the vibranium, shades of pink, purple, green and yellow decorating his arm like a bulletin board. 
You’re about to contemplate sticking one on his shoulder blade when he whips around to look at you. You freeze, hand in the air with a sticky note. He looks down at his arm, a scoff escaping him in disbelief. 
“Are you serious?” He twists his arm to check the extent of how far you’ve gone. “What are you, six?”
“How’d it take you so long to notice?” You watch as he tugs them off one by one, counting to see how many you had managed to get on there.
“It’s impossible not to zone out in these shitty meetings,” he mumbles, pulling off the last one, crumpling all of them into a ball to throw at you. You skilfully avoid them. 
“Don’t you feel pressure or heat or anything here?” You poke at his metal arm.
“No.” He clenches and releases the fist. “It can block bullets though.”
You snort. “Bet that’s a popular line in bed.”
He rolls his eyes. “I mean, it helps that I can’t feel anything. Sometimes,” he adds the last part as an afterthought. 
“Like when you’re blocking bullets.”
“Especially then.” He nods. 
“Would you ever want to?” you ask casually. “Like if you got the choice, would you prefer having feeling in that arm?”
“I don’t know.” He’s thought about it, but it doesn’t seem feasible in his line of work. He’d like it, though, to feel sand slipping through his fingers and the comforter under his palm. “Maybe when I’m retired.”
“Aren’t you well past that age?”
“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes. “And pay attention. You’re next.”
“So you are listening.” True to his word, Steve asks about what’s going on with your team. “Traitor.” 
Tony shoots off about how you only had to test it out on a small batch first to see if you could acquire the targeted data without compromising anything else. You chime in about a few specifics, and Bruce more or less just confirms what you both are saying, only stopping to let them know that you’d be finished in a day or two.
Steve nods, moving on to the next committee.
“Did I get a good grade?” you whisper when you lean back again.
“B minus at best.” 
“Fuck you, dude. I was great,” you protested. “It’s definitely worth a gold sticker.”
Someone shushes you sharply. You apologise quietly, whacking Bucky’s metal arm when you see a dumb smirk on his face. 
He narrows his eyes at you. 
You try sticking another post-it on him.
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You’re only here for a week. That’s what he’s been told. Over six times, actually, after which he’s been told to go away the next time he asked.
No one’s brought up the job offer so he asks Tony if it was true and all he gets is a dismissive ‘yeah, whatever’. Besides, you haven’t told him if you accepted or denied it yet so isn’t sure if this entire thing is set in stone, per se.
So then why do you have a giant box of your belongings that you’re lugging around the lab, looking to set down?
And why does Tony allow you a table right in the centre of the lab for everyone to see as soon as they walk in?
There are a gazillion trinkets, picture frames and obnoxiously bright stationery that stands out against the dull minimalism of the lab.
“Every single one of these is a fire hazard,” he reports, standing over your desk.
You give him a side glance before reaching over to the side of your desk, pulling up a fire extinguisher and setting it on the table in front of him. “I came prepared, bitch boy.”
He doesn’t dignify that with a response. He chooses to look at what exactly you’ve brought with you because it’s a lot.
There are small cards with ‘thank you!’ sprawled on them in uneven lettering, bits and pieces of paper with small cartoons on them, little clay models and other miniature trophies with ‘you’re the best!’ under it.
“Your students gave you these?” He can’t remember the last time he gave his teacher anything other than a headache.
“Sometimes they learn or communicate better when they have something to keep their hands busy.” There’s a certain fondness in your voice that he isn’t used to hearing. “I end up with a lot of doodles and craft.”
“’s nice of them.” He can tell that this means a lot to you. He hasn’t seen it before.
He thinks the little decorations are adorable and maybe he’d keep another fire extinguisher on hand, just in case. 
Until you start pulling out a set of framed photos and his smile drops.
Several collages of Bucky in flower crowns, him with terribly edited backgrounds of beaches and mountains, a photo of him laughing with ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ next to it in an italicised font.
“What the fuck,” he states, grabbing one of them.
You stifle a laugh, pulling out several more to place along your table.
“Where did you fucking get these?” He starts pulling them off the table one by one.
“I don’t think you know how much the internet is obsessed with you.” You set an especially large one of him in a Hello Kitty bowtie right in the centre. He doesn’t miss the star shaped frame you chose for this.
“What is wrong with you?” He swipes that up immediately, looking for a place to discard, possibly burn these pictures. “Why do you even have these?”
“It’s imperative that people know we’re friends.” You bite your lip, bringing out the last thing to annoy him.
“What is that?” A teddy bear with a blue jacket and a grey felt arm stared into his soul.
“A Bucky bear.” Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh. “Limited edition.”
He snatches it along with the fifteen other picture frames, thinly veiled distress and mostly disgust on his face.
“I hate you.”
“But I love you.” You lift the small heart shaped locket you hung on one of the pictures of your class.
You use both your hands to click it open for him, watching his face morph into one of disbelief.
Bucky my beloved, it read on the right with a small picture of him on the left looking intensely disgruntled. He doesn’t bother asking where you found that specific picture of him outside a Burger King at 3am.
He doesn’t even make an effort to take it away this time. He knows that you’ll simply bring up more and more until you drove him crazy.
“You still have to see the Avengers calendar.” You reach for the inside. “I changed all the pictures to you, it looks great-”
He turns around and leaves before you get a chance to flip open the pages.
He wanders around, looking for the best disposal area he can find. He knows there’s a giant fireplace in the common room in the Tower, and for that, he’d have to go up a couple of floors.
He steps into the elevator, chin pressing down on the several picture frames in his hands to prevent them from falling over.
No one sees him carrying a couple of fan edited pictures and merchandise of him. Which was good.
Unfortunately, the doors ding open on the next floor and his best friend steps on with possibly the worst timing ever.
“Buck?” Steve sounds confused. He should be, considering the sight.
Bucky shimmies slightly to get a better grip on his belongings. “Steven.”
Steve glances at what he’s holding.
“Is this,” Steve pauses, trying to frame his words correctly to sound as supportive as possible, “a therapy thing?”
“No.”
Steve waits for a further explanation.
“It’s Y/N’s,” he elucidates. Steve’s eyebrows furrow.
“Why are there so many pictures of you?” He looks at the content in his hands a little closer. “And a bear.”
“She’s evil. And I hate her.”
“Alright.” It doesn’t answer his question but his friend looks irked enough.
The elevator dings to the common room floor.
Bucky turns on his heel to head toward the place to set all the pictures on fire. He saves the picture frames to give back to you though, he’s sure those cost money. But he makes sure every last square inch of the picture with several hearts around his portrait burns to ash.
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Bucky knows that by the time Saturday afternoon rolls around, the three of you would have been working for thirty hours straight, scrambling to get the last minute details done.
You’re still at it but he can tell through the adrenaline of the upcoming deadline that you’re exhausted. 
Now he’s grouchy but he’s not an asshole. He’s already done two coffee runs for the team and brought you food when you didn’t show up for lunch. He mumbles something and dismisses it when you call out a ‘thank you’ his way. He considers it a debt repaid for the gyros.
He’s still keeping an eye on you but along with an emergency box of doughnuts for any sugar rushes that may be needed and bottles of water that he occasionally leaves at the corner of the table for you three to subconsciously keep yourself hydrated. 
“Are you sure we checked it?”
“Yes.” Bruce nods.
“Double checked it?”
“Yes.”
“Triple checked it.”
“Yes.” 
You look satisfied enough to move on to the next item. “Pass me the welding torch for a second.”
Bucky has a book in front of him that he hasn’t moved beyond the second page of. He’s more interested in seeing who collapses from burnout first. He has the infirmary on speed dial. 
After another hour or so Tony holds up a silver tablet, roughly the same size as a smartphone, examining it from all sides.
“That’s it,” he states. “The final product.”
You exhale lightly.
“We should name it.” You have your hands on your hips, looking down at it in wonder. Maybe the zero hours of sleep was finally kicking in because you couldn’t believe you were finally done. 
“You got any suggestions?” Tony asks. 
To be frank, no, you didn’t.
“No.”
“Okay, we’ll do that later.” Tony sets it down, not sounding too disappointed. “F.R.I.D.A.Y, tell the team to get down here, please.”
“Yes, boss.”
Bucky jumps off his chair to join you in the lab, leaving the book behind. 
It only takes a few moments for the others to join. Fury and Steve walk in together, already engaged in conversation.
“Greetings.” You clap your hands together. “We did it. We think.”
“We think?” Nick raises an eyebrow.
“We know,” Bruce clarifies quickly, stepping in. “We’re positive it works. We tested it out.”
Tony pulls up the holograph of F.R.I.D.AY’s system, sliding the tablet to the middle of the table.
“Is it secured under FRIDAY’s core?”
“Locked and loaded.” Tony hits the table lightly to signify that it was safe.
“I think we’re ready,” Bruce confirms.
“We better be, or else half the country is suddenly going to lose their internet connection,” you say under your breath.
“What?” Bucky’s eyebrows knit together.
“Nothing,” you beamed, “Okay F.R.I.D.A.Y., run sequence, global parameter.”
“Running sequence,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. parrots. 
There was no going back now. 
From what Bucky can see, Tony looks fairly confident but you have your bottom lip caged between your teeth, chewing on it nervously. 
There are several hundreds of photographs popping up and disappearing within a minute. Everything looks like it’s going according to plan.
The giant holograph of the AI dims. Your face drops when F.R.I.D.A.Y. seems to sputter to a halt. 
No one breathes.
In the midst of the tension, Clint mutters if they should play some background music. It’s followed by a swift ‘ow’ when Natasha flicks him in the shoulder.
You could hear a pin drop.
It suddenly picks back up again, running faster than the last time and the sigh everyone collectively heaves is almost comical.
It runs for a few seconds more before a list of names suddenly pop up accompanied by a series of photographs and geo locations.
“Sequence complete. Six names detected, zero encroachment on public or private databases,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. broadcasted. “Location determined to be Holland. Exact coordinates are computed into the quinjet.”
You let out a small cheer, looping your arm around Bruce, squeezing him in a half hug. He has a smile on his face, dropping his head as he laughs slightly. 
“How dangerous are they?” Tony, however, continues to ask.
“A few prior convictions and a series of similar threats. Danger level determined to be at approximately five out of ten.” 
“That’s not bad,” Steve commented. “Looks like we don’t need the full team there.”
“Romanoff, Barton, Wilson, Rogers can go ahead and take care of that,” Nick finally spoke up. “Everyone else is working security tomorrow, just in case anyone else decides that terrorism is on their fuckin’ to-do list for the day.”
“Buck, assemble a team and go over strategy for tomorrow,” Steve adds on. “Everyone else go suit up, wheels up in thirty minutes.” 
“Fuckin’ Holland,” Sam scoffs, shaking his head. “Of all the places.” 
“What do you have against Holland?” Nat asks as they leave together.
“Just don’t like ‘em.” Their voices grow faint the further they get.
“Hey.” A small greeting from behind you has you turning around.
Wanda stands in front of you and you have to ignore the fact that the most powerful being on Earth is talking to you. 
“Hey,” you say back.
“I just wanted to say congratulations. You did a great job.” Bits and pieces of her accent poked out. She didn’t seem like she was putting in the effort to cover it up as opposed to the press interviews you had heard a few years ago. 
“Thank you.” You smile. “T’was a team effort.”
“Well, we owe you one anyway,” Steve joins the conversation, leaving aside Tony who was still talking to Bruce.
“I wish I was humble enough to turn it down but I’m not.” You laugh. “It’s nice to have an arsenal of superheroes at my disposal.”
Steve looks like he’s going to respond but his attention is drawn towards F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s announcement that the quinjet was ready to go. He shoots you an apologetic look but you sign for him to go on, you’d meet with him later.
You watch as he claps Tony on the back, telling him to go get some sleep and something with more nutritional value than a pizza pocket in him, nodding at Bruce before taking leave. 
“Y/L/N,” Nick stands beside you, looking ahead at the conversations being had as Steve tugs Clint along with him.
“Nicky,” you tease.
“I know at least seven underground prisons I can put you in if anyone hears you calling me that,” he says stoically. 
“We all know you won’t get rid of me.” You shake your head. “Who’s gonna send you a Christmas card then, huh?”
He simply shakes his head, jutting his hand out and offering a handshake. “Not sure anyone here could handle another day of a highly caffeinated, sleep-deprived Stark.”
“Just say ‘thanks’, Nick, geez.” You roll your eyes. 
Bucky watches the entire interaction unfurl; only the body language, not employing the lip-reading ability. 
“You’re welcome.” You let go of his hand, a devilish look on your face. “You know what I want in return.”
Nick gives you a long, hard stare that could probably melt through Steve’s shield before turning around to leave. 
But Bucky doesn’t miss the subtle high-five he gives you while walking out, unbeknownst to anyone else, bringing the biggest grin to your face.
He makes it a point to ask you what the fuck kind of leverage you have over the man for him to play favourites with you. 
You finally collapse at your desk, letting out a loud exhale. You clench your eyes shut, your body finally melting into your chair. You look exhausted.
He’s not sure how to help. You don’t seem like you have the energy to tell him.
Bucky leaves a doughnut and water bottle on the table in front of you before shuffling out of the room quietly. 
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He’s certain that he’s spent far too long in Bruce’s lab this week. He liked the man as much as the next guy, but he probably wouldn’t come down there for the foreseeable future. 
You’re at your assigned desk, reading light illuminating the space. Thankfully you’ve cleared up most of your stuff from the table, leaving no more liabilities to fall over in case he walked into the desk. 
“So you’re done for the week.” His voice surprises you. You were scrolling through your phone, slightly hunched over.
“It appears so.” You put your phone down, swivelling the chair to look at him. 
“How’d it go?” He leans against your table, making sure he isn’t using his full weight.
“Well, I slept for fifteen hours straight, so...” you leave him to connect the dots. He’s done the same several times.
“You’re probably gonna need more,” he says, mostly from his own experience, “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Actually-” you reach beside your table and lug your gigantic box of belongings onto the table with a loud thud, “-you won’t.”
He looks at the box that was nearly overflowing with its contents, the majority of the space being taken up by empty picture frames. “I thought you said Tony offered you a job.” 
“He did,” you confirm. “I didn’t accept.”
“Why?” He watches you shift through a few things, adjusting it so that it wouldn’t fall over.
“This whole thing- it’s cool and all, but it’s not what I want to do.” You shrug. “I like teaching. I miss my class.”
He gaze lands on one of the thank you notes sticking out from the corner of the box. “Ah.”
“Back to school from tomorrow.”
“And evil on the weekends?” he prods, dropping a pen into the heap of stationery. 
“Obviously.” You give him a lopsided smile. “Where else am I gonna use all this brilliance?”
You point to your head. He lets out a small exhale in the form of a laugh.
“Speaking of-” You look like you just remembered something.  
You rummage through your backpack and pull out a small container, handing it to him.
“What’s this?” He turns it over, looking for any hidden clues. “Are you proposing again, because I’ve said no-”
“I’m not proposing,” you interrupt, “yet.”
He gives you a deadpan look.
“Open it,” you urge, and he complies.
Two small squares sit side-by-side. They’re slick black, barely bigger than the face of a dice.
“You put one of them here-” You tap on his bicep “-and the other here.” You tap his shoulder, a few inches below his clavicle.
“What does it do?” He thinks it’s like Nat’s little taser things, a nifty little tool that he could use on missions.
“It, uh-” you hesitate “-it allows you to feel sensation in your metal arm. Heat, pressure, texture.”
His breath hitches in his throat. He doesn’t mean for it to happen, it just does.
“You said that sometimes you’re glad you couldn’t because of the bullets and stuff. They’re detachable, so just take them off when you go on missions and wherever it is you Spandex ambassadors go.” You scoff slightly. 
He can’t remember the last time he felt something soft with that arm or used it for something that wasn’t directly related to his job.  
“I’m not messing with what the Wakandans gave you. It’s the most advanced piece of tech out there.” You shrug. “But if you ever want to feel it when someone attaches sticky notes to your arm, this could work. Just thought it’d be nice to have an option.”
He can’t decipher what he’s feeling right now. He looks up at you, only to catch you eyeing him cautiously, assessing his reaction. When you notice he’s looking at you, a nervous smile makes its way onto your face. 
His stomach does a flip. 
“Thank you,” he says quietly. 
“Don’t mention it.” You sound a little relieved, picking up the box that he’s pretty sure weighed a ton what with all his memorabilia in it. “See you next week.”
He doesn’t know how to explain what it means to him. 
Instead, he shoves his hands into his pockets. “What are you doing later?”
“Nothing.” You pause. “Why?”
“Are you gonna watch the parade?” 
“Yeah, probably.” You shift your weight to your other leg to compensate for the box.
“Want some company?”
“Aren’t you heading a security division?” You have to consciously hide the bewilderment from your voice. 
“Yeah. The place I’m stationed just so happens to have a good look into the street,” he explains, toying with the bracelet on his wrist. “Can’t really promise that I’ll be paying attention to it or that I’d even be there the whole time but for the most part...” he trails off. 
“Uh-” You force yourself to shove aside your surprise at his determination, “yeah, sure. That’d be cool.”
He nods. “Okay. See you there.” 
“See you,” you murmur as you walk to the elevator. 
He opens the tiny container to look at the small chips. They’re still there, silently like they don’t change his world just by existing. 
Gosh.
Next part
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krappykawa · 4 years
Text
fake dating headcanons with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo
ANON ASKED: “hi i really like your writing 🥺🥺 could i request fake dating with atsumu, oikawa, and kuroo? like they told their teams that they have a girlfriend but they dont lmao so they ask one of their classmates to pretend to be their gf so the team can meet her? and they end up falling for her along the way :)) i look forward to reading more of ur works!! 💖”
atsumu x f!reader, oikawa x f!reader, kuroo x f!reader
genre. fluff
warnings. language
word count. 6.3k
note. DAMN this one got away from me ... 6.3k words for a headcanon post ...... sorry anon i’m not sure if you wanted a long post but i mean, here we are lol 
note 2. had to repost because something was up with the tags lol i hope it works fine this time
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ATSUMU.
- the team has a favorite twin and it’s osamu, we all know it
- one day after practice, the team finds out that one of the first-years managed to get a girlfriend
- most of the inarizaki vb team is single at that point in time so it starts a conversation about relationships
- somewhere in the conversation, aran says, “osamu, man. I can’t believe ya haven’t gotten a girlfriend yet. yer easily one of the best-looking people in the school.”
- osamu just shrugs, but atsumu’s like “huh??”
- “hey ‘samu and i have the same face. don’t cha mean that we’re some of the best-looking people in the school??”
- the guys in the locker room exchange glances
- aran‘s like “look, atsumu. don’t blow up on me or anything, but most girls don’t really want to date you.” (keep in mind that aran’s strictly speaking about the girls that aren’t a part of the miya twins fan club)
- “and why the hell not?”
- at this point, aran’s looking at literally everyone in the room and pleading with his eyes for help because he doesn’t want to start a fight with atsumu
- suna takes pity on aran and says, “hate to break it you, miya, but girls don’t want to date a guy who’s a massive asshole”
- now, atsumu could care less if the entire goddamn world thinks he’s an asshole, but it rubs him the wrong way that his teammates think that osamu’s a better catch than he is
- sibling rivalry pride or whatever
- so atsumu goes “i think my girlfriend would disagree because oh will ya look at that, she’s dating me!”
- he was most definitely not dating anyone
- osamu raises an eyebrow at him because to his knowledge, atsumu didn’t have a girlfriend
- “since when did you have a girlfriend?”
- osamu looks at atsumu with knowing eyes and smirks. “yeah sumu, who’s this girlfriend of yours? I don’t think i’ve met her yet.”
- atsumu knows he’s gotten himself in some deep shit
- but still he’s still full of pride, so he says, “i’ll bring her by to practice tomorrow.”
- now miya atsumu has a dilemma because there are some things he just shouldn’t lie about (because now he’ll never live it down if he can’t figure out a way to get himself out of this one)
- atsumu knows that he’s got that fanclub that would probably be more than willing to date him, but the thought of being in their presence for longer than two seconds makes his skin crawl because he doesn’t think he could handle the excessive screaming
- so that night he decides to go to the bakery down the street that he frequents because they have some of the best macarons in town
- you’re one of the bakers at that bakery that works the shift when he usually comes in for his weekly macarons so you two are acquainted
- you also go to inarizaki, so you hear the rumors that circulate around atsumu, but you don’t really pay much attention to them because he’s not that bad whenever he comes into the bakery
- like sometimes if he tries to only order 2 macarons but notices that there are only 5 macarons left, he’ll buy them all just to make your life easier
- when he comes in that day, he has this troubled look on his face. “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”
- you like to keep tabs on your regulars and what they order, so when he orders an iced matcha, you know that something’s probably up (he never orders drinks from there because he said that his brother would kill him if he didn’t bring him home a drink too and having to carry the two drinks up to their apartment is hassle enough)
- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”
- it’s almost time to close up and you two are the only two left so you figured you had time for small talk
- “i may have outright lied to my team about havin’ a girlfriend.”
- “you don’t?” that surprises you because so many girls at your school have a crush on the miya twins (you would know because your best friend is practically in love with osamu)
- when atsumu shakes his head dejectedly, you don’t quite understand what he’s so down for
- “you do know that there are like 50 girls that are practically lining up to date you right?”
- “yeah, but they’d expect a real relationship and i’m no good at those.”
- “why not?”
- “i’m too argumentative, let's just say, plus i’ve been told that i kinda come off as an asshole.”
- “and volleyball right?” you would know since he always comes into the bakery after a practice and he looks like he’s both dead and alive
- when you hand him his matcha and packet of macarons, he pauses
- “listen, don’t take this the wrong way but yer single right?”
- you almost smile to yourself because wow for a guy so attractive, his way with words isn’t great
- “i am.”
- he stands there for a good 20 seconds just looking at you with that look in his eyes that tells you that he’s trying to ask you something but he doesn’t know how to do it
- “you want me to act as your fake girlfriend don’t you?”
- cue atsumu chuckle @%EUTYDJBCJWER)*&# hhhhfs
- “ya know, i’m kinda seein’ why i get called an asshole all the time. it doesn’t sound as great when ya’ say it like that.”
- you agree to pretend to be his girlfriend, but on the condition that your best friend will be able to tag along if osamu’s gonna be there
- and that’s the start of it
- you visit his practice the next day before work and his team looks at you in surprise because they were 100% sure that having a girlfriend was just another one of atsumu’s lies
- they all kinda stare at you a little extra too because you’re really pretty
- “aye, get yer asses back to volleyball and stop starin’ at my girl like that.”
- you know it’s all fake, but him saying that kinda makes you blush anyways
- when you first agreed to fake dating him, you weren’t expecting that you’d have to spend too much time with him (he did tell you that he wasn’t looking for a real relationship) but that changes because osamu’s insistent that atsumu should at least try to be a good boyfriend and eat lunch with you and stuff
- you’re both aware that osamu doesn’t buy your little arrangement one bit
- atsumu’s got this raging pride when it comes to his twin brother, so he actually listens because now he’s made it his personal mission to convince osamu that you and him are actually dating
- it takes a while for you two to get into the hang of it, but once you do, it’s like a regular routine
- you and your best friend eat lunch with the twins (you and atsumu both watch as your best friend fumbles her way into talking with osamu), you drop by before work to give atsumu a kiss on the cheek before practice, he drops by the bakery after practice nearly everyday, and you come to his games while wearing a jersey that he lent you
- his teammates like you a lot and tease atsumu all the time because they claim that you’re way too good for him
- surprisingly, he always gets a little protective when they say things like that and always slips an arm around your waist
- one day when you’re over at his apartment, you help atsumu learn how to make macarons (with some help from osamu)
- it takes a while because he would get mad at the macarons when they would come out in weird shapes
- “stupid macarons! they got it out for me i’m tellin’ ya! they’re being like that on purpose!”
- LITERALLY A CHILD
- you learn to like that about him though
- dates with him are usually on the weekends (you both drag osamu and your best friend out with you) and it’s always something fun that osamu suggests because atsumu wasn’t joking when he said he sucks at real relationships
- most of these dates consist of holding hands as you walk around the streets until osamu sees a restaurant he wants to try out
- he always insists on feeding you at least once in your meal
- he also loves doing the walrus-chopsticks face?? (he only started doing it because he liked hearing you laugh)
- as time passes, you two start going on dates without osamu and your best friend (atsumu always claims that it’s because he wants to show osamu up, but you start to notice that osamu doesn’t even find out about these dates most of the time)
- you secretly like these dates better than those with osamu and your best friend because atsumu feels more at ease and will develop a softer tone around you during these dates
- eventually, he starts to always greet you with a forehead kiss whenever you’re in public (you’re not sure if he does it just because his brother is watching, or if maybe he might be starting to like you)
- you try to make your brain forget that most of the time, he kisses your forehead before osamu even walks in
- one day after practice, you’re waiting for him because you didn’t have a shift at the bakery that day
- he walks out of the club room looking mildly pissed and you’re a little wary
- but then he gets to where you’re standing and just pulls your waist towards him and full on kisses you
- mind you, this is your first kiss on the lips with him
- it’s not a quick peck either, like you can hear the wolf whistles from his teammates in the back and you’re left breathing hard and flushed pink afterwards
- damn if that’s what his kisses are like, you suddenly wish he’d do it more often
- “what was that for?”
- “nothin’”
- sometime in the future you find out that he did that because his teammates were once again talking about your relationship and one of them joked that atsumu paid you to pretend to be his girlfriend
- he knew that what you had wasn’t necessarily real, but he just had the urge to kiss you then (he swears to you that he doesn’t know why)
- he does know why. it was because it was starting to slip his mind that your relationship was fake and the reminder made him a little mad at himself
- he realizes that maybe he’s fallen in love with you when osamu brings it up
- atsumu had asked for osamu’s help because he wanted to surprise you by making you mochis for your upcoming four month anniversary of being his fake girlfriend (typing this out was so funny, this man is so whipped he doesn’t know it)
- “ya know, when i first met y/n, i was sure that it was all fake and that you’d slip up about it one day. i guess i was wrong.”
- atsumu doesn’t say anything to that because in his head he’s trying to convince himself that “no. this is all still fake.” but it’s hard to convince himself of that when his hands are covered in the rice flower that he’s using to make your favorite dessert for your four months of faking being together
- he tries not to think about what osamu said when he gives you the gifts later that night
- he tries not to think about it when he gets that funny feeling that he’s been feeling for a while now when he sees the way you light up upon opening the box of mochis
- he most definitely tries not to think about it when you accidentally give him your second kiss of the relationship because you were caught up in the spur of the moment
- it’s on the way home back to his apartment that night that he realizes he’s fucked
- because good god he’s fallen for you
- he tries to break it off after that
- you’re confused at how sudden it is, but you let him break it off because at that point you’re already in love with him and are still too scared to say it because you keep remembering how he always said that he didn’t want a real relationship
- IDIOTS IN LOVE YOU'RE BOTH SO .
- he tries to go back to normal after that
- but for the love of everything he just . can’t
- his eyes always linger a little too long on the door right before practice because you would always come see him before going to work
- his feet would instinctively move in the direction of the bakery after practices until he realizes what he’s doing and forces himself to go home
- his eyes would scan for your figure wearing his jersey during games until he remembers that you probably weren’t there and that you most definitely wouldn’t be wearing his jersey
- he wants to kick himself because the reason he asked you to be his fake girlfriend in the first place was because he didn’t want a real relationship
- yet here he was. wallowing because if there’s anything more he wants, it’s a real relationship with you
- osamu gets fed up with him eventually
- “take yer ass to the bakery right after practice. i’m not letting you into the apartment until you see her.”
- and surprisingly, he actually listens to his twin brother
- he walks into the bakery for the first time in a while and says “hey y/n. can i just have my usual? oh and an iced matcha.”
- you look up at him then because you vividly remember that night. how could you not?
- you’re in the middle of making his drink when you decide to ask him what’s up “everything alright?”
- “i may have outright lied to myself about loving you.”
- you nearly drop the drink in your hands
- “‘tsumu? what are you on about?”
- “i know i said that i’m no good at real relationships. but i’ve found that i want to learn to be good.”
- a pause
- “i want to learn with ya.”
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OIKAWA.
- this poor boy is always the butt of the jokes that come from his team
- seriously though. it’s always “tease oikawa day” (he teases them back so it’s all good)
- but one day, they’re all in the locker room when hanamaki brings up this girl that he’s planning on asking out because he’s not sure how to do it
- oikawa, being the little shit that he is, goes “step one, makki. have my face. step two, have my amazing personality. step three, ask her out.”
- he barely ducks in time to miss the shoe that comes flying towards his head
- “makki! such unbecoming behavior! my advice is perfect!”
- matsukawa snorts and says “perfect advice my ass. you can’t even get anyone to like you. let alone go out with you, crappykawa.”
- “don’t spread lies, mattsun.” oikawa clicks his tongue like a mother scolding his child. “or do you seem to forget the dozens of confessions i get on the daily along with the girls that you three complain about all the time because ugh shittykawa’s gonna make us late if he keeps talking to them” (he’s so dramatic lol he says that last part in this weird, whiny voice)
- iwaizumi scoffs. “doesn’t count when you reject every single one.”
- “i do not!”
- “right. right. as if you don’t make them cry because you’re so nice about rejecting them too.” (oikawa frowns at that one because he doesn’t mean to make them cry)
- “yeah, shittykawa, you’re pretty bad at love in general. i’d die before listening to your advice.” (this one is from matsukawa)
- “there’s also the fact that the girlfriend’s you did have all broke up with you because you would rather cuddle with a volleyball than cuddle with them.” (this one is from hanamaki)
- oikawa scowls at them “i don’t cuddle my volleyball.”
- “sure you don’t. just like you most definitely don’t have a name for it either.”
- “leave iwa-chan the second out of this!” (he drew an angry face on his volleyball too because he claims it looks like iwaizumi)
- iwaizumi groans. “i hate you. so so much.”
- at this point, oikawa knows they’re right, but he’s also really prideful. “and besides. i would suggest taking my advice because i got a girlfriend just today!”
- he most definitely did not
- “sure you did. hey mattsun, i bet a week tops until she breaks up with him.”
- “nah i’ll bet five days.”
- after practice, oikawa came up with a plan for the next day to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself
- he usually got confessions before school, so he told iwaizumi that he was going to school early to practice and instead waited for a girl to confess to him
- but the moment he saw this second-year walk up to him with a little box, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it
- he couldn’t do that to this innocent girl
- and he tries to say yes to her. he really does.
- but he can practically hear his older sister’s voice yelling at him about how “even when you get popular and get confessions from people left and right, i don’t want you leading anyone on. you only accept a confession if you actually like them.”
- he’s probably more scared of his sister than he is of his own mother, so he says no to that second-year, even when she starts to frown and walk away
- he’s leaning against the gym and rubbing the bridge of his nose when he hears you
- “everything alright?”
- you two were pretty close because he found out that you had a crush on iwaizumi in your second year and tried to set you two up (it didn’t work because he’s pretty bad at being a wingman)
- even when iwaizumi rejected you, oikawa had already grown to like your presence, so you two stayed friends despite how his best friend broke your heart
- “y/n-chan! what are you doing here so early?”
- “just returning a book to the library before the librarian knocks down my door and kicks my ass for having an overdue library book. what are you doing here so early?”
- “would you believe me if i said that i was practicing volleyball?”
- you look him up and down, and the smell of fresh cologne reaches your nostrils. his uniform is neatly put together.
- “looking like that? no, no i would not.”
- “well, what would you believe?”
- “i don’t know .. the truth maybe?”
- “the truth is embarrassing and is defamation to my good name.” that makes you raise your brow at him.
- “okay now i only want to hear the truth. i will not accept anything but the truth. now tell me, what kind of embarrassment have you proved yourself to be this morning?”
- “so mean, y/n-chan! now i see why you so very adored our precious iwa-chan.”
- you groan because you don’t want to remember that rejection. “oh just hurry up and embarrass yourself instead of embarrassing me.”
- “but it’s quite embarrassing.”
- “come on, spit it out.”
- “i may or may not have told iwa-chan, makki, and mattsun that i have a girlfriend when i don’t have one.”
- you look at him like he’s the dumbest person you’ve ever met, because at that moment, you really believed that he was. “couldn’t you just … i don’t know … accept one of your many, many confessions?”
- oikawa tells you about his fear of his sister and the second-year that just confessed to him
- you find yourself admiring his sister because she’s probably the one person on this planet that can humble oikawa tooru (the next person to be able to do so will be you, but you don’t know that yet)
- after hearing his explanation you get an idea. “can’t you ask someone to fake being in a relationship with you? you know, so you don’t get the angry sister devil/angel thing on your shoulder?” (LOL if you don’t get what the angel/devil thing that i’m talking about is, it’s like when you have an imaginary angel and a devil that sits on your shoulders and criticizes every choice you make)
- “are you offering, y/n?” he has that shit-eating grin on his face again, so you know he’s mostly joking
- “hmm, i don’t know. i think you’ll have to formally ask me to be your fake girlfriend. it’s only polite after all.”
- oikawa blinks for a second because he didn’t actually think you were serious. “what?”
- “are you going to ask me to be your fake girlfriend or not? maybe throw in a flower and i’ll say yes.”
- oh. oh.
- well, he wasn’t going to let what might be his only opportunity to get someone to fake date him pass by
- he looks around and sees a small flower on the ground and picks it
- he takes both your hands and puts the flower in one of them before saying, “y/n-chan will you, take me, oikawa tooru, as your loving pretend boyfriend, and save me from irrevocable embarrassment?”
- you laugh in his face because he’s trying so hard not to laugh through his “proposal.”
- “minus points for not getting on one knee but i guess i do.”
- you mainly did it because you may have already gotten rejected by iwaizumi, but you did like the possibility of being friends with him, and fake dating oikawa would probably let you do that
- you also kind of felt bad for oikawa, knowing that he wasn’t exaggerating how embarrassing it would be if his teammates found out he was lying
- when you and oikawa walk up to the seijoh third-years while holding hands, makki and mattsun are jostling each other while iwaizumi looks mildly surprised
- “see matsun! pay up!”
- oikawa and you both look in surprise as mattsun reluctantly shoves a few bills into makki’s awaiting hand
- oikawa’s looking between them both. “what bet did you use me for this time?”
- “i bet mattsun that you and y/n secretly liked each other.”
- blink blink
- iwaizumi sees the mildly awkward situation brewing so he says, “anyways, y/n if you ever get tired of this dumbass, you’re more than welcome into our group. we’ll just kick oikawa out.”
- after that, you and oikawa fall into a dating routine easily (you have a pretty busy schedule too so both you and oikawa understand each other schedules well)
- usually this is where oikawa’s relationships fail. he spends so much time with volleyball and the team that he doesn’t really spend time with his significant others
- it’s different with you though. maybe it’s the fact that the stakes aren’t so high because it’s only a fake relationship after all, or maybe it’s because unlike his past significant others, you don’t mind spending most of your time and “dates” with the other seijoh third-years, or maybe it’s because he remembers that locker room conversation and he wants to prove to makki, mattsun, and iwaizumi that he can be a good boyfriend (even if it’s a good fake boyfriend)
- dates with oikawa are usually laid-back because he’s tired from practice (so like walks in the park, getting ice cream, or study dates where you don’t get much done because you spend most of it just laughing and cooking in his kitchen)
- you find that he’s secretly a decent cook (the only thing keeping from saying that he’s a good cook is because he can’t cut vegetables for his life, and he also managed to accidently burn the onions you were trying to caramelize).
- neither of you acknowledge the fact that since nobody’s there to see those dates, you two technically don’t have to go on them since it’s only a fake relationship
- oh and takeru LOVES you
- seriously. he thinks you’re probably the coolest person ever (he tells you one day that he thinks you’re even cooler than oikawa and oikawa is a pouting mess the rest of your day. you can only pull him out of his slump when you jump on his back and force him to run to the bakery and buy milk bread)
- sometimes you’ll come with oikawa when he needs to watch takeru
- as takeru teaches you how to receive a volleyball, oikawa will watch you two with a little smile on his face (this loser is so whipped like man people passing by reminisce on how they were young and in love once because oikawa looks at you like that. oikawa doesn’t notice that he’s doing it though.)
- you sometimes spend time at his house with iwaizumi or on select days just by yourself (mostly for study dates or for watching weird sci-fi movies that oikawa seems to love)
- since you’re at his house so often, oikawa’s mother takes a liking to you because “you finally got her boy to care about something that isn’t volleyball.”
- it’s when oikawa groans a “moooom” in response that you start to feel those pesky butterflies
- oikawa will run up to you after games and just hold you tightly (he tells himself that it’s because his fan club and the team are watching, but really it’s because he can’t thank you enough for being there because he just plays better when you’re watching)
- my god, dUDE . he has no idea that he loves you like . MAN .
- mattsun, makki, and iwaizumi always tease oikawa about how you’re so much cooler than him
- oikawa whines to you and says, “y/n-channn they’re being mean again!”
- “what do you want me to do about it?”
- oikawa pouts like the baby he is and says, “kiss,” while pointing to his cheek. you give in and a round of groans comes from mattsun and makki. oikawa looks so smug and those pesky stomach feelings come back. iwaizumi is smiling to himself.
- speaking of iwaizumi
- you two become best friends after he finds you looking dejected as you wait for oikawa to get out of practice. you confided with him about how your relationship was all pretend. you might have also told him that you may be teensy bit in love with his captain
- iwaizumi tells you that, “there are some things you just ... can’t fake. the way that shithead looks at you is one of them. trust me.”
- he also tells you that his suspicion that you and oikawa had this weird spark was what kept him from ever reciprocating your feelings and why he rejected you (oikawa literally tried being your wingman before by texting iwaizumi things like “did you see how pretty y/n was today? don’t you think she was pretty?” and “iwa-chan! y/n is so funny and that’s coming from me, so she really is funny! i think maybe you should talk to her to see what i’m talking about (≧◡≦)”)
- at this point everyone knows that you’re in love with oikawa for real (except for oikawa himself)
- everyone also knows that oikawa’s fallen for you (except for oikawa himself, and you because you refuse to believe it)
- the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is on another one of those dates that you both know you don’t have to have but still choose to have anyway
- you’re making milk bread and he’s helping to measure the ingredients when he turns around to see you covered in flour and he just kinda stops
- and he realizes
- like yeah he’s been getting that small tugging feeling with you a lot over these past few months
- but now he finally realizes it’s because he’s in love with you
- he’s staring for a long time and for a second you think he’s going to make fun of your flour-coated self, but he’s staring at you with that look and you’re confused
- “everything okay? is there something wrong? did you mess up the measurements?”
- then an idea hits him
- “something’s wrong. it’s kind of embarassing though.”
- “what is it?”
- “no but it’s really embarrassing.”
- “what .. what is it?”
- cue cheeky little grin. “i think i might’ve fallen in love with my fake girlfriend. i don’t have another flower to ask her out though. i hope she doesn’t say no.”
- you kiss him for the first time then and take pride in the fact that you get him covered in flour in the process
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KUROO.
- it happened the second day that you were at the tokyo training camp
- kuroo was with bokuto and a few of the karasuno first-years when bokuto started telling the first-years that kuroo had a girlfriend because he saw kuroo helping you carry your bags the day before (listen . this man is like . clueless when it comes to emotions sometimes i’msosorry)
- kuroo got this confused look on his face because he thought he would remember getting a girlfriend. “i do?”
- “don’t you? remember the girl you were holding hands with yesterday?”
- this was all some big misunderstanding
- so basically what happened was this: you’re shinzen’s team manager and you were tasked with carrying bags of equipment to the training center. kuroo was waiting for kenma to finish talking with lev (more like trying to avoid though lmao) and noticed that you were struggling so he came over to help
- kuroo figured that bokuto must’ve seen him holding the bags for you and assumed that something must’ve been going on (or maybe he looked over for the split second when kuroo held your hand in order to transfer the bags to his hand)
- he was about to clear things up when lo and behold, you walked into the gym
- “kuroo look! it’s your girlfriend! hey, come join us!”
- bless bokuto’s soul. bless that poor, oblivious soul.
- you walked up to them and looked at kuroo like “what??”
- you remembered him from the day before, but you didn’t remember ever agreeing to being his girlfriend of any sort
- he smiled apologetically at you and asked to talk to you on the side
- “what’s going on? why did he call me your .. girlfriend?”
- “look i’m sorry, bo’s a little … i don’t know. he saw me carrying your bags yesterday and assumed. i’ll clear things up, don’t worry.”
- when you two headed back to where bokuto is standing, it was obvious that kuroo’s smooth-sailing explanation wasn’t happening anytime soon
- because lev was there, and so was yaku
- “KUROO-SENPAI? THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? SHE’S VERY PRETTY SENPAI!” (bless lev’s soul too. another part of the extremely oblivious club.)
- yaku took no hesitation in teasing kuroo. “since when does kuroo ever get any girl to like him? this is new. no offense, of course.”
- kuroo tried clearing up the air by saying, “guys- listen this has all been som-“
- hinata doesn’t let him finish either lmao “YOU’RE THE TEAM MANAGER FOR SHINZEN!” (extremely oblivious club member number 3 here)
- “a team manager, kuroo? what’d you do to get her to say yes? is she a chemistry nerd too?”
- “bo-“
- they kinda just went like that back and forth, and kuroo kept getting interrupted
- you were just laughing to the side because it was kind of funny
- you also kinda felt bad for kuroo because damn his friends had like no faith in his romantic skills at all??
- maybe that was what made you say it, but after his friends were done teasing him you said, “he’s kind of a catch though, don’t you think? nerdy and funny is a girl’s dream isn’t that what they say?”
- kuroo blinked at you because what??
- once kuroo got you alone by asking you to take a walk outside of the gym, he asked, “so … what does this make us?” (surprise, surprise, he never got the chance to tell them about the misunderstanding)
- you just shrugged because really how bad could this be? “i felt bad at how much they were teasing you, so we could keep up the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing for the week. it shouldn’t be too bad. plus it’ll save you the embarrassment of having to tell your friends that you didn’t actually get a girlfriend.”
- you guys did pretty good for the week of the training camp
- you’d cheer him on in secret if he got a spike or a block during a practice game while simultaneously still watching shinzen’s game
- you two walked around the halls when bokuto was watching just to keep up pretenses
- you learned that he’s a major nerd during these walks, which you found really endearing
- on the last day of camp, he tried to throw pieces of broccoli in your mouth (he didn’t stop until he finally got it in after his 9th try)
- you guys initially planned to “break up” after the camp was over
- but here comes bokuto again
- “hey y/n! kuroo, akaashi, and i were gonna go out for karaoke tomorrow if you wanna join.”
- you grew to like bokuto too so you said you’d come
- it was actually a really fun night
- you and kuroo sang a duet together
- he also stole some of your ramen
- you took a video of bokuto as he serenaded akaashi
- when you guys are leaving to go home, bokuto goes “you two are so cute. y/n do me a favor and don’t break up with kuroo until after the qualifiers would you? i wanna play him at his full game.” (again. seriously, he basically is the greatest accidental wingman ever)
- “we can’t break his heart, can we?”
- “no, we can’t.”
- and so your fake relationship starts
- you don’t get to visit each other often because you don’t live in the same vicinity, but you guys text often (it’s a friend thing, you both swear to yourselves)
- on weekends when kuroo’s not spending time with kenma, he’ll ask you to meet him at a park or a cafe (you two always send selfies to bokuto during every date)
- dates with him are always really fun because he’s spontaneous and also very active so sometimes he’ll take you by the hand and just drag you places
- he is not afraid to smear different colors of ice cream on your nose and call you some obscure name from some really old movie that he may have watched that week
- he also makes you push him on the swings
- the little kids get mad because what is this rooster man doing taking up a swing when he’s so old
- you laugh at him when the kids eventually come up to him and ask if they can use the swing
- dates will usually last the whole day because you’re both fine with just walking around and randomly finding stuff to do
- with all that time spent talking, you two also get to know each other really well
- like basically your life stories
- it took him a while to open up and at first he insists that you tell your story first, but after a while you notice how he starts letting little things about his life slip here and there until he starts telling you bigger portions
- you also get really close with kenma
- not close close the way him and kuroo are, but kenma would probably see you as his second closest friend
- that’s why sometimes kenma tags along with you guys (it doesn’t feel like third wheeling or anything because both you and kuroo enjoy kenma’s presence as much as each other’s)
- eventually, once you two got the hang of it, you’re like the couple that everyone likes
- because you’re both pretty funny and overall just have nice vibes
- his team starts to call you mom and dad as a joke because sometimes when shinzen doesn’t have practice, you’ll stop by at nekoma at the end of practice just to say hi
- they’re not wrong about the mom and dad thing though (it’s a really cute dynamic though i swear)
- your team used to not like him at first because they were protective of you, but eventually they reluctantly warmed up to him
- they threatened to demolish him if he hurt you though
- LMAO ANYWAYS .. MOVING ON
- you guys have lots of study dates too!!
- since you’re both busy because of volleyball related things, a lot of your schedule lines up with each other (this also means that kuroo knows when you haven’t had time to study)
- you’ll be sitting on his bed on your stomach with your legs draped across his thighs as you read your textbook and he’ll be sitting against his bed frame reading one of his assigned readings (i also like to think that kuroo has glasses for these readings that only you and kenma have seen)
- sometimes, when you finish studying before he finishes, you’ll come up behind him and just start to play with his hair
- his hair is actually really soft despite looking like a bird built its nest in it
- you also have two of his jackets that are just lying around your house
- he likes when you wear them because he thinks you look so cute (he doesn’t tell you that though)
- after a while, it’s like both of you have forgotten that this was all a ruse just so bokuto wouldn’t get heartbroken after you two break up
- at this point, kuroo has learned all your quirks, habits, and has also memorized your schedule
- like … he doesn’t realize that he’s fallen for you until someone points it out
- he realizes he’s fallen for you on the day that shinzen loses in the tournament (this would be your last match)
- now nekoma just played a game, but kuroo’s first instinct is to check whether or not shinzen won (he’s been doing this for every game in the tournament)
- when he sees that you lost, he knows that you’ll be sad and in need of a pick me up
- as kenma and him are packing up, he says, “shinzen lost today. i probably can’t make it to your house tonight. y/n will probably want to go out with her team for a bit, but she’ll probably crash at my place. do you think i should make her a strawberry cake? or maybe she’ll want onigiri? no, she’ll probably want the cake. she always gets the little smile with her one dimple whenever she eats my strawberry cake. makes me proud.”
- kenma’s just looking at kuroo with arched eyebrows because HIS BEST FRIEND IS WHIPPED
- kuroo doesn’t get why kenma’s looking at him like that because he thinks about things like that all the time. “what??”
- oh kenma knows your relationship is fake
- so he just looks at kuroo and says, “try to refrain getting down on one knee today. i doubt you have a ring, and i’ll bet that y/n will want a confession of you being hopelessly, madly in love with her before you propose by the way.”
- kuroo kind of freezes and blinks at him.
- “wh … what?”
- “kuro, do i really need to spell out for you that you’re totally smitten with her? you have been for a while now.”
- “have not.”
- “yes, you have.”
- “have not.”
- “yes, you have.”
- “have not.”
- “yes, you have.”
- at this point, kuroo knows that kenma’s onto something, but kuroo doesn’t wanna jump to conclusions until he sees you again
- when you knock on his door and run straight into his arms that night, he knows kenma’s right
- like you’re balling into his chest and he gets that feeling that he wants to hold you forever and never let go
- and he knows. he knows.
- after you start to calm down, he offers you the cake that he made just for you
- he swears that he feels ten times lighter after he sees that exact smile with the exact dimple on your face
- now kuroo may be loud, and rambunctious at times, but when he loves, it’s quiet, simple, but not any less there
- as you finish eating the cake, kuroo notices that there’s a few pink crumbs on your lips
- and he kisses you
- like a “slow, hand on the cheek, nose touching after he pulls away” kind of kiss
- “i made a realization today. kenma told me to hold back on proposing, so i’ll go with confessing instead.”
- you’re looking up at him with your heart beating hard in your chest
- “i think you might’ve made me fall in love with you.”
sorry if there are any mistakes lmao i tried catching all of them but ... 6k words ...... yanno. .....
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we all have our secrets (3/5) - shangqi x asian!reader
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Summary: Y/N faces off against the Wenwu who in turn finds the weakness in both Shangqi and Y/N - each other.
Word count: 4.1k
Rating: M
Warnings: language, fluff, graphic violence, blood
Relationship: Xu Shangqi x asian!reader
Author’s note: Due to not following the film scene by scene, I might change a few things. Hope you don't mind. I’m sorry if this gadget in the middle is kinda cringe-y. I wish I had a better idea to solve this. 
Just finished Kim’s Convenience - like DUDE. me stan a simu himbo.
Reblogs are appreciated.
Tag yourself | Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Bring me a cuppa
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Her leg was starting to kill her. It was moments like these that Y/N realized she wasn’t getting any younger and maybe it was time to get out of this business for good.
Yelena’s footsteps rushed behind her among the bustling marketplace before Y/N heard the panting words, “Are you trying to run away from me? We need to stick together.”
“We should have separated when we had the chance,” she muttered quietly. She didn’t like this part of the plan – with a higher chance of exposure. Y/N felt the pounding ache in her shin once she limped on her path, with her sweaty hair tied into a messy ponytail.
“Didn’t you hear? Someone wants to kill you,” Yelena denied vehemently.
“Thank you for the reminder. Since you neglected to tell me before when you had the chance.”
Yelena eyed her warily. “Do you know why he’s after you?”
Y/N eyed the faces of people surrounding them on the market. “Nope. In our line of work, I used to cross a lot of people. But usually all of them are dead to hold a grudge, including their families.”
Raising her eyebrows at the ruthless answer, the blonde assassin replied, “I don’t know whether to feel scared or admire your cold-blooded viciousness.”
It was hard to forget her previous manipulation. “Flattery doesn’t get you anywhere with me.”
Yelena lifted her hands in a ‘stop’ motion. “Wait a second. We’re not done with this conversation.” After she lingered in front of a mirror at a market stand, a sigh left Y/N’s lips.
Not understanding one bit why she was waiting for her. With a rucksack slung over Y/N’s shoulder, she was looking at their surroundings. This was a bad idea. They needed to get off the public space and split as fast as possible.
Yelena took in a deep breath once she placed her fingers at the bridge of her nose and applied pressure until it snapped into place with a nauseating break. A muffled groan exhaled from her before she sniffed deeply. “Okay, let’s keep going.”
Y/N’s stare focused ahead on their path as a thought was tickling at the back of her mind.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re still keeping things from me?”
Yelena closed one eye against the blinding sun. “Because you have good instincts? What revealed me?”
“Like I said, you have the worst poker face and you asked me if I knew why he was after me. Which means, you do know why he is. You just want to assess to see if I do.”
Yelena bit her lip and averted her gaze. She exhaled haggardly, “Yes, I do. It’s just not my secret to tell.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Secrets. Don’t tell me about secrets.” She was getting tired of this, she thought, and rushed off with her limping leg.
“God damn it,” Yelena grumbled and ran after her. “I don’t like the idea of Sylvana fending for herself if something goes wrong.”
Sylvana’s wary glance didn’t put her at ease though. “What’s wrong?” Y/N asked with hesitation, not knowing if she wanted to know.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, but the moment the other me knew you were in my sights, I gave a signal.” Sylvana gave the warning before dropping the GPS tracker on the ground. “I really am sorry.”
Y/N nodded in understanding. “I know.”
“I’ll try to lead them away.” And with those last words, Sylvana jumped from the building with a grappling hook.
“You’re lucky I haven’t ditched you.”
“Hey, I’m your friend here!” Yelena hissed fervently.
“And I’m supposed to believe anything you have to say now?”
“Hey! I’m not your enemy. You know who I was. The moment you saw me in San Francisco, you knew who you were dealing with.”
Y/N stopped in her tracks. “Then why are you helping me?”
“Why don’t you trust me?” Yelena asked with a hoarse voice that would break her heart if she didn’t know any better.
“Answer the question, Yelena. Why don’t you tell me about these so-called secrets?”
Her evading her gaze was answer enough for Y/N.
“You know this Mandarin guy,” she spoke slowly once the realization hit her.
“I never met him,” Yelena assured her.
“But you know of him. There’s a part of you that’s almost … terrified of him.” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. The thought of a frightened Yelena Belova was scary in itself.
“All I know is he’s dangerous.” Yelena swallowed thickly. “Listen, it’s really not my secret. I’m just trying not to give you unnecessary pain, you have to believe me.”
Yelena burnt her before, so it was hard for Y/N to trust her. She sighed deeply. “If you say so.”
Out of nowhere, Y/N felt goosebumps rise on her skin and the hairs on her neck stood up in tension. Suspicion forced her to twist her head towards Yelena as soon as she felt the shift in the air. “Do you feel that?” Y/N whispered under her breath.
Yelena hummed in agreement while staring right ahead. “I know. We’re being followed.”
“Cross the marketplace.”
Admonishment laced her murmuring voice. “Y/N.”
“I’m the target, not you,” she spoke hurriedly. “You’re no use to me dead. We don’t know how many there are or how much time we have. Stay in the shadows, fight the others undetected, just like the White Widow taught us. Now.”
Reluctance lingered in Yelena’s whole body before she wedged her way past her. Something metallic was placed in the palm of her hand, but then just like that she was gone.
After swallowing to get her frantic heartbeat back under control, Y/N tightened her fingers around the object until something sharp bit the inside of her hand.
Y/N frowned and covertly hid it in the pocket of her tactical pants. She tilted her head when she felt the shift of energy once more. Y/N kept walking and eyed the tools she could use to her advantage before grabbing the knife from a booth selling strawberries.
With a sharp motion she threw it behind her before glancing back to find it embedded in a henchman’s throat who was covered all in black with a hood as he had already fallen flat to the ground. His sword clenched tightly in his hand.
First screams resounded in panic throughout the marketplace before a horde of armed men crowded the area, with swords strapped to their backs.
Despite being outnumbered Y/N took on a fighting position with her legs knee-length apart and her hands clenched into fists.
“Seriously? In what kind of mess did I land in now?” she whispered incredulously.
Y/N called out, “You really want to do this, guys? Trust me, there’s more where that came from.” She nudged her head at the dead minion and pulled out the Batons from her travel bag. It made a dull thud when Y/N let it drop down.
Her Bites made a satisfying whirring sound as soon as she activated them into its glowing red color and to their deadly voltage. If there was a hit on her head, Y/N wouldn’t just render her enemies unconscious.
Having no interest in letting her guard down by being arrogant, she decided not to drop off her hoodie in a dramatic fashion. This was a damn army she was surrounded by after all.
Y/N straightened her arms in a ‘here I am’ fashion. “Let’s dance, fellas.”
Accepting her invitation, one minion jumped forward with a long-handled blade which Y/N blocked with her Baton. Her defensive maneuver lingered a second to appreciate the craftmanship with her side-eye a few inches from her face before she sent a Bite into his neck.
Three henchmen worked fast and surrounded her. To top it all off, the rest of the swordsmen positioned themselves in a rigid circle, to not give her any space to fight or escape from.
Jesus, what did she get herself into this time?
Simultaneously, three swords cut through the air.
Y/N blocked one blade with her Baton before swiping the guy’s legs at her back. Remaining at a crouched position, Y/N shot a Bite to the third guy’s throat. Her assailants moved in tandem, giving her not much of a choice while she defended herself against them with her flurrying Batons, though there was no way to escape this mass of people without getting killed in the process.
“Fuck,” Y/N cursed under her breath.
With her mind made up, Y/N dropped a Taser Disk on the cobblestone pavement and let it self-activate to reach as many as possible before jumping against an assassin’s chest and onto another guy’s shoulders. Using those two assassins as a propelling trampoline to evade their circle of death.
Shrieks of panic echoed from the pedestrians while she ran through the market stands. Y/N felt heat rise on her cheeks from the exertion of scaling between the buildings by the grates of its balconies. The roof tiles made clanging sounds under her feet as she was sprinting away.
Before Y/N could blink, an unknown force knocked her off balance. Y/N held her breath when her side ached with a sharp pain. As she tumbled down, a muffled groan left her lips before she dropped on the roof of a market stand.
Her groan shifted into a hissing sound once she harshly landed on the ground, with her arms bracing against the coldness. Y/N looked up with gritted teeth, just in time to discover something blue flying through the air to a man wearing a white suit, like he had summoned this magic.
Just splendid. She was dead if her antagonist was a sorcerer.
Y/N coughed up blood as she covered her ribs in pain.
She looked up once more to see the man who commanded authority slowly advance. Yelena should’ve told her that the Mandarin was also a man infused with magic.
Blue glowing bracelets covered his arms, Y/N noticed with each step he took. The next thing she noticed were the … sandals he wore? Well, great, it looked like this man possessed a lot of power to not care about his footwear.
Y/N struggled while standing up and held her hand to her side before she daringly spat blood on the ground. The metallic taste remained on the corners of her lips and the insides of her mouth.
Yelena’s concerned face met hers on the other side of the city center before Y/N gave her signal by shaking her head, silently telling her to run. She wouldn’t even condemn her for it, but there was no reason for her to stick her neck out for her.
Y/N clenched her hands into fists.
This was not how she imagined dying, in a damn market in Romania of all places.
The Mandarin lifted his arms - with his rumpled-up sleeves which put his bracelet-covered arms on display. If anything, this appeasing notion did the opposite of putting her at ease.
“Let’s not fight.”
Y/N scoffed loudly. Glancing to the side again, she noticed with relief the absence of Yelena. Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Because it wouldn’t be a fair one?”
Y/N suppressed her grimacing expression and dropped her hands at her side, not wanting to reveal her weaknesses as obviously.
The dark-haired man tilted his head as he gazed at Y/N with speculation. “Honestly, I believe you could hold your own.”
“Is this already the beginning of a bad guy speech, seconds before you finally kill me?” she asked tiredly.
The Mandarin smirked. “I just wanted to see for myself.” He bowed slightly in greeting. It was frightening how his army stood in a line behind him as a protection - as if he needed that. “It’s an honor to make your acquaintance, Miss Y/L/N. Your reputation precedes you.”
“And yours doesn’t.”
That ever-present smirk adorned his lips.  “It’s what I prefer. I go by many names such as ‘Master Khan’ or ‘The most dangerous man on Earth’. You may call me Wenwu. Come with me.” He clasped his hands behind his back as he slowly walked away, expecting Y/N to follow without question.
Y/N detected his glowing rings with confusion at the display of raw power he was emitting before he slightly turned his head to gaze back at her with an arched eyebrow.
“That wasn’t a question. I’d rather you went willingly. Unless you want my men looking for your friend. I gather she must be around here.”
Y/N huffed after swallowing thickly. She briskly walked around him while trying not to reveal her aching leg.
“Did my men manage to hurt a Widow?” Wenwu inquired blandly at her side without gazing at her direction.
A scoff exhaled from Y/N’s lips. It frightened her that he knew everything about her. “They couldn’t if they tried.”
Wenwu shook his head while chuckling. “Young people. Does it make you feel better, knowing you’re untouchable?”
“I don’t know. How about you?”
Wenwu’s chuckles sounded almost fond. “I can see why he likes you.”
Y/N frowned at the familiar pronoun game. “Who?”
Wenwu smiled mysteriously before he stopped walking and faced Y/N head-on.  “Why don’t you release your weapons? I find it easier to hold a conversation with someone who doesn’t display them as viciously.”
Y/N tilted her head at the reminder of the bracelets still adorning his arms, to his enemies not to cross him. “And if I don’t?”
“There’s no need for emotional displays. You’ll get them back.”
“I believe that when I see it,” she retorted before crossing her arms. Y/N clenched her jaw at the sensation of her bruised ribs. She was a stubborn adversary after all.
“You have my word; I won’t harm you again,” he assured her softly before pausing in thought. “We’re family after all.” After showing his hands, he waited for Y/N to deliver her weapons.
“What the hell does that mean?” Y/N hissed without moving.
“You met my son after all. Shangqi?”
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “Who?”
“Oh.” He smiled to himself. “So, he hadn’t been honest after all,” Wenwu whispered under his breath, almost in astonishment. “I heard he goes by the name of ‘Shaun’.” He shook his head, with chuckles leaving him.
Time stood still while Y/N’s facial muscles drooped at hearing that news. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Not knowing what to believe in anymore, Yelena's gift was the only thing anchoring her to the present.
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Y/N woke up with a gasp. She hissed before her hand reached for her bruised ribs. Light streamed through the windows in her room, which Wenwu had provided before locking her inside.
The simmering pain made her ground her teeth before she lifted her hoodie with delicate motions until dark-red contusions were on display in the form of several circles. Another whimpering sound left Y/N as she pulled the fabric back down. Weak fingers loosened the haphazard hairdo until her hair fell in waves to her shoulders. With gingerly movements, she lifted herself up in bed and combed through her hair with her fingers to make herself as presentable as possible.
Wenwu wasn’t much of a talker during their helicopter ride to the compound. If he was to be believed, he would ensure that she would meet Shangqi. Y/N was certain that he had something planned by forcing them to cross paths.
After standing up, she looked outside the window towards the training center and watched Wenwu's army with trepidation during their training session. Y/N shook her head to focus on escaping. She was on the enemy territory after all.
Although, she needed her weapons first.
What unnerved Y/N wasn’t that she was on this covert compound, but that she would have to face Shaun – no, Shangqi and didn’t know how to feel about the fact that parts of his life he unveiled to her weren’t the truth. She sighed, once that thought truly hit her.
Y/N swallowed thickly and pressed her hand against her stomach.
As much as she wanted to condemn him for lying or omitting the truth, she couldn’t fault Shangqi for it. For craving a different life, a normal one. Without the shadow of the past looming over the future. It would seem hypocritical since she herself wasn’t that innocent and barely was the epitome of honesty even though she never talked about her history, her parents, or anything really.
Y/N scoured the contents of her backpack and gratefully took out the compact mirror - almost a relic from the Soviet program. Her fingers inspected the keychain which Yelena had bestowed upon her until she discovered the USB drive. After plugging it into the compact mirror’s port and turned the mirror so it would face the bare wall and function as a beamer.
“Yelena, you little devil,” she muttered with admiration.
Y/N flickered through the file of Xu Wenwu, the leader of the Ten Rings, which the former assassin had provided for her. Not much was known about him, other than enforcing his will as basically an immortal terrorist while his son suffered under his upbringing as an assassin.
Apart from the magic immortality part, Y/N felt like she was gazing into her own reflection by empathizing with Shangqi. With a sigh, she snapped the mirror shut and threw her head back. Y/N strained her ears once she heard the rotor blades of a landing helicopter coming closer.
Her heart was thumping even faster at the possibility of seeing Shangqi again. There was a part of her that desperately longed for this reunion, but still, she had a bone to pick with his father. Under no circumstances would she turn into a damsel in distress and if anything, she’d rather face those bracelets of his than to evoke the traumatic experience of being a means to an end in the Black Widow program.
Using two bobby pins from her own hair, she placed one into the bottom half and the other in the top half of the lock and then twisted a few times-
The moment the door clicked open, Y/N silently pressed the handle down and carefully observed both sides of the wide hallways before she let the door snap shut behind her.
It was just the perfect opportunity to secretly explore her surroundings and to familiarize herself with the headquarters. After a few turns, uncontrollable rage filled Y/N once she saw the man she had been looking for from a distance.
The man in question was wearing a white shirt, with his hands hidden in his pockets as he casually took a stroll through the compound like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Despite her reminder to stay calm, Y/N stormed over. “You.”
Without turning his body, Wenwu casually replied, “Miss Y/L/N, why am I not surprised that you got out of your room?”
“What am I doing here? What do you want with me?” Y/N hissed through gritted teeth.
Wenwu clasped his hands behind his back. “You are incentive. Although, what’s more important, I was looking for you because I wanted to make you a job offer.”
“By killing me?” Y/N asked with derision.
“Only the best could survive the Ten Rings. I heard stories about you – about the job in Beirut. Your ruthlessness in the facility in Madripoor – you have my admiration for it.”
Once he saw glowering expression, Wenwu continued speaking with a deep voice, “Serve the Ten Rings and I will give you the purpose you are looking for.”
“I’m not going to be bait. I won’t ever live in servitude again. Especially not by the Mandarin.”
Wenwu’s body stilled at the mention before he tilted his head. “I have to admit, that alias has put a sour taste in my mouth.”
His confession gave Y/N the needed puzzle piece to see beyond his armor and chose to press against the pressure point even further.
“What would you like me to call you instead? Kidnapper? Wielder of bracelets?”
At long last, Wenwu faced her with a stony expression. “Watch your tongue, child.” Her skin prickled from the danger she found herself in by poking the beast.
Y/N smiled smiles serenely. “Or what?”
Before Wenwu could yield to her daring, or more like suicidal question, a shocked voice rendered Y/N speechless.
“Y/N?”
Her body turned until she was facing the man again who had harbored some secrets since she knew him. The moment she saw him again, her heartbeat accelerated with a vengeance. Relief filled Y/N when she saw Shangqi who had Katy and another dark-haired woman at his side.
After the truth Wenwu unveiled about his son, she still felt the same about him as she did before when he was still only regular Shaun, and not just Shangqi with a mysterious past.
“What are you doing here?” Shangqi whispered anxiously.
The thought that he looked really good crossed her mind at the most inopportune moment. Her eyes admired the yellow-blue bomber jacket he was wearing seconds before he rushed towards her and hugged her tightly.
Damn, he smelled even good.
The appreciative feeling was squashed by the exhaling hiss of pain which left her mouth, as much as she tried to control it.
Just as soon as he held her to his chest, Shangqi let go with frowned bewilderment and gazed at her while holding onto her shoulders.
Before he could ask about her vulnerable state, she admitted with gritted teeth, “Courtesy of your father.”
Shangqi slowly turned his head and glared at his father with such a deep loathing that Y/N almost shivered. He snarled with a dark glare on his face as the muscles on his shoulders tensed when he stepped closer to the man.
“What did you do to her?”
Wenwu had been watching their exchange with fascination. “I merely wanted to see for myself,” he said ominously.
“What?” Shangqi grunted with a rumbling voice as he clenched his jaw.
“How you would react,” Wenwu whispered with that glint in his eyes. “Tell me son, … does the concept frighten you that your love could know who you truly were? What I could have told her?”
With a reluctant shift of his head, Shangqi glanced at Y/N nervously.
Honestly, she didn't care who he was before she met him. Who was she judge him having a terrorist as a father when she had her own dark past?
Wanting to take his worries away, Y/N took his hand as a sign by weaving their fingers together and gazing at him with a serene expression. “It shouldn’t. I don’t scare easy.”
Heat streamed through her body from their closeness. It was peculiar how she was looking at Shangqi in a whole different light. Admiring the many birthmarks on his face while feeling curious about the scar on his chin.
Wanting to get to know him all over again.
In turn, Shangqi’s eyes roamed over her with open affection and deep astonishment.
Wenwu’s observed their interaction studiously before whispering, “Let’s see. How about dinner?”
The woman who hadn’t introduced herself yet, smirked at Wenwu’s comment by mentioning, “Yes, it’s a family reunion after all.”
They walked behind the leader of the Ten Rings while he led the way.
Although, Y/N couldn’t help but ignore the pulsating sensation around her ribs when Shangqi’s hand tightened around Y/N's fingers and kissing the top of her head. If they weren’t in such a dire situation, Y/N would've swooned at Shangqi's affection.
“Easy there, lover boy,” Y/N heard behind her, reminding her that they weren't alone.
She turned her head to greet the other woman, “Hey, Katy.”
Katy waved a hand, like she had no issue with being the fifth wheel for now and revealed a grimacing smile. “Glad to see Shaun’s father didn’t kill you,” she said awkwardly.
“You mean … Shangqi,” Y/N said tentatively, almost as if she was nervous about letting him know she was in the know about his real name.
Wenwu’s file didn’t offer much after all and Y/N felt it was crucial to find out these things from him personally instead of reading it in a file.
Shangqi and Y/N were still walking hand in hand when she felt the warmth of his stare on her. Y/N finally gazed up at him whose dark eyes settled on her face.
“Careful there or you might give my brother an aneurysm,” the mysterious woman purred with a raspy voice. “Make him jump you right now. And honestly, I don’t want to see the second part.”
Y/N faced her in silent curiosity before her eyes turned back to Shangqi. “Brother?”
“Don’t mind Xialing. She’s being her usual self.”
Y/N raised her eyebrows at that new-found detail about his life. “You have a sister, Shangqi? You’re a deep well, huh?”
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lolita-lollipop · 3 years
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Hi hope you’re having a wonderful day! Could I please get a bnha coraline au story. So like y/n has had a pretty bad life like a whole bunch of stuff and now they have to basically parents their own parents at the age of 15 cause they’re lazy alcoholics who just go to work come back and drink. One day after they move in y/n gets curious and finds explores around the house while they’re alone and discovers the door to the other world and meets their dream parents. The parents are aizawa and present mic who just genuinely love the reader, they don’t want to take readers soul that just want to help them. They have a sister eri and a brother shinso and when reader tries to leave they all beg and threaten reader not to leave cause “your parents never cared for you anyways” and “we’ll love you more then they ever would” and force reader to be the new baby of the family gender neutral reader if possible, please and thank you ( 03^)~💚
YANDERE CORALINE AU ERASERMIC FAMILY X READER
GN READER
-I do apologize if you wanted a shorter work, because this ended up being kinda long, sorry!
-there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes here and there, this is unedited, I will fix them :)
(I don’t know if you actually wanted the reader to be treated like a baby, literally like an infant, or just like the youngest in the family, I needed up doing the second option, tell me if wrong.)
——————————————————————-
You hummed a tune as you wandered the hallways, your footsteps dragging, you had tried to tell your mother to drink some water and put the strong bottle of vodka down before she ended up killing herself. She yelled at you, told you to “shut the hell up ya damn brat”, god knows where your father even is. It had only been a day or two in this house, and they had already made it feel like a prison for you, oh my, A SINGLE DAY.
In all honesty the house was nice, old, yes, but still nice. It seemed as if the last owners hadn’t been here for hundreds of years, let alone clean the place, as all embellishments on the walls were antique styled, and everything, I repeat, everything, was covered in dust. There were a few different pieces of furniture that looked as ancient as the neighbors, including a dresser filled with a different articles of clothing, a few dusty chairs here and there, curtains clawed away by... something, and little tables with droors filled with little trinkets.
One room in particular was exceptionally creepy in your eyes, it seemed like a child once slept there, probably long dead by now, the walls were covered in a striped floral wallpaper, chipping at the edges, various stuffed animals that hadn’t been touched in ages, what looked to be a changing table, and a smaller sized bed placed in the middle, fitted with dusty purple bedsheets, probably that color because of the gathering dust, you sat down on the mattress, inhaling the scent of the room. It smelled oddly of lavender, not a musty mildew smell you were expecting. You spent a moment just finding comfort in the warm smell, before noticing a small dent in the wall behind what you thought could be a changing table. Almost looked like... a tiny door?
“What the heck is that?” You questioned or yourself, narrowing your eyes at the wooden frame that looked like a small threshold, cautiously standing up form the bed, and making your way over to the door, you struggled to move the large piece of furniture, pushing back gains the groun and shoving it out of the way. It was indeed a door, and it was indeed tiny. There was a small cobweb strung across the mass of it, which you batted away with your little hands, pulling at the doorknob a few times to reveal the fact that it was locked, you let out an exasperated sigh. Well... it’s not like you have much to do, might as well find the key.
Surprisingly, it hadn’t taken long for you to find the small, heart shaped key that fit the locked door, it was tucked into one of the white droors of the small table in the corner. It was the first place you looked, almost as if it’d been calling out for you. It only took a few moments for you to push the key into the lock and turn, you let out a sigh of relief when you heard the satisfying click of the lock opening. Wondering what was going to be on the other side, you pushed open the mini door, to reveal a tunnel of sorts... today’s just full of surprises isn’t it.
“Man this tunnel is lo... whoah.” You stood, still balled up in a crawli mg position, shocked at your own surroundings. Everything looked so... new, and polished, you stared Jan absolute awe at everything, literally everything. Where are you?
“Oh, honey you’re finally here!” A male voice rang out from behind you, immediately large hands were lifting you off the floor from under your arms, holding you like a baby, this guy cradled your head in his chest, no matter how much you squirmed, the iron grip he had on you did not loosen. You snapped your head up to meet his eyes, only to be met with buttons of such a piercing yellow it almost hurt your own eyes. A shrill scream left your lips, as you flung your feet back and forth in attempts to free yourself.
“Oh, oh right. I’m sorry , I should’ve been a little slower, it’s scary I know, you’ll get used to it I promise. I’m hizashi, your other father, re you alright?” He questioned, backing up a little to give you space, bringing his hands up to tell you he wasn’t going to hurt you, ever. You were usually a calm person, but given the situation, like some random person living in your house with buttons for eyes, the reaction was warranted. You breathed for a small moment, inhaling the even stronger scent of lavender that was oh so comforting, before standing back up, giving whatever this was at a chance of explanation.
“Who- who are you?” The question left your lips faster than tryouts could hold it in, he gave you a smile and walked closer again, booping your nose and once again pulling you off the ground. He was tall, slightly lanky, and his hair was a bright yellow to match his eyes, little dangle earring wee attached to his ears, you just stared in awe at the inhuman man who was holding you.
“Silly little thing! I just said it! I’m your other father, like your real father, just perfect for you! Dinners almost ready, so let’s go meet the rest of the fmIly okay bubs?” He questioned m, speaking down to you like one would a child, even though you are a fully capable human. He grabbed your hand, and gently rigged you off into some hallway, you slightly dig your feet in, staring back at the little door that got you here in the first place.
———
“Honey, this is your reality, if it was perfectly fit for you! We love you, unlinke those scum who call your your parents, don’t your bat to be loved for once y/n?” He spoke, the two of you arrived at what was probably the kitchen, him explaining what was happening pretty thoroughly considering he had to do it in a few minutes, barging through the doors, a few other pairs of button eyes were scattered thievhiur the kitchen.
“Daddy! I helped bubba make dinner tonight!” A little girl, probably not even over the age of five, came running towards the two of you, smiling fully. She was sporting a pair of red buttons, which matched her little jumper, you had your face buried in this ma- hizashis chest, his arms wrapped around the entirety of you. He sent an exited stare towards the little girl, who jsut gasped and smiled even harder. She made little grabby hands towards you, so hizashi set you down on the ground, whispering a “time to get down” in your ear. Instantly, the little girl attached herself to your torso.
“Bubba/sissy!” She squealed, patting your stomach, as much as you would love to knock her off of you, she’s a kid, you don’t do that to kids. This young girl claimed to be your other sister, which at this point you were led to believe because apparently anything is possible at this point, she was pretty adorable.
“I-uh, yeah?” You spluttered, visibly flustered, you tried to get a grip of yourself, it was kindof odd, although the girl seemed much younger than you, the way she carried herself presented that she was much older than she came off, from the maternal glint in her eyes, to the planned movements, it just seemed... mature.
—————small time skip—————
It had been maybe an hour, you had been seated at a dinner table, quite the large one actually, in between a black haired man that you could tell was staring at you, and a purple haired teenager who looked to be a similar age to you. You sat there just kindof awkwardly trying to not touch any of them. At one pint. The purple haired guy tried to feed you, which was an unfortunate suprise because you were off in dreamland, and were ckmoemteky confused as to why he was even trying something like that.
“You’ll probably hurt yourself trying, just let me do it” he spoke, it is safe to say that this button eyed family is an odd bunch. First the woerd door, then a creepy guy tryna pick you up, then some little girl who probably wasn’t so little claiming you to be her “younger sibling”; then the offpdutirng glances front his beanbag guy, than this? What is happening.
Sooner or later, after the really odd display that was dinner had finished, and you had help washing your hands, because for some reason they thought you needed it, it was announced bettime, and with a snap of the man him you learned name was Aizawa, food was gone, along with all the dishes. If you were to be completely honest with yourself, you almost lied this, of course not the babying thing, but the fact that you weren’t cooking or cleaning or trying to snatch a bottle from your parents, it almost made you wnat to cry how perfect this family was. God how much you wished this was your own.
It’s sounds selfish, and unreasonable, but you never had a childhood, the day you were born your life was already sighted off as “servant of my own parents”, you lived them, you did, these people were so nice thiugh, they were odd, maybe a little quirky, but still jsut a perfect little family. Apparently one that includes you.
“ALRIGHT! time for bed!” The yellow haired man exclaimed, seeeping you and eri right off of your feet, holding you in his arms as eri giggled at the sudden swish sound. The two men on the other side of the large room cracked small smiles at the sheer adorable ness of the position, the two little ones of the family and their father! What a sight to see!
“Shhhhh, I think y/n is gonna sleep with us to Tonight okay eri?” Hizashi whispered to the young girl, loud enough for you to hear, she nodded and smiled one of her sickeningly sweet smiles, hr eyebrows raising before her button eyes. She motioned to be put down ‘, waving goodbye and latching her own hand onto shinsos, who also waved his hand.
“Goodnight daddy! And y/n!” From there, you walked alongside them to their room, or what you supposed it was. This was the first time you’d really talked to Aizawa, and it was pretty embarrassing because he asked if he was aloud to change you out of your day clothes. You were a little too scared to say no, so you let him, it was probably one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to sit through, and that’s saying quite A lot.
When all was done, you had brushed your teeth, and wrrrnchanged into a set of lilac pajamas, silken and slippery, you were pulled on top of the yellow haired man, who then wrapped his arms around your waist and started “shh-ing” you, patting your head while rocking back and forth slightly, the other man slipped in next splaying his arms over you, rubbing circles into your beck
Mans with that, the lights went out, and you fell asleep.
——————————————————————
From there, everything in your life changes, you wake up the next day in the dusty lilac bed, wondering if it all was a dream, so the next night, you go back, and the next, and the next, until you started to spend your days there. Playing with eri, or cuddling with either of the three men, or just having fun without any worries or cares int the world. By that’s when it all starts, they kindof... changed.
They became overprotective, it showed in some more than others, but it was present either way. Al you wanted to do was check up on your dad to see if he was still alive or not, and eri had a whole crying fit, begging you to stay, and telling you she’d die if you left.
“No no! You can’t leave me! I-I I’m gonna die if you leave! I’ll die, please don’t keVe I promise il be good!”
It took a little shushing from you, but eventually you convinced her you weren’t going to leave, and so she went back to her normal self. You were with shinso once, and walked near the little door, he had immediately blocked it as if you were going to do something, then scolded you for going near such a “dangerous object”.
“You shouldn’t. Go close to that evil little thing, it might hurt you m, I don’t want you to get hurt, so stay away from it”
And then your other parents, they didn’t let you do anything by yourself, scared you would run off and get lost in the maze of nothing outside. You can’t even mention your real parents, you’ve been down here for at least a week now and haven’t been able to check on them, so when you did ask to go back for a day, hizashi slicks dying up and told you to cut out the nonsense, while Aizawa bubbles in anger, telling you that they lived you ten times better than your parents Eve could.
“They don’t deserve you, they don’t love you, we do, they’ll never live you half as much as we do, we can protect you here, why would you wnat to leave?”
Ans so one day, when your “other papa” or Aizawa, tried to take the key from you and lick you in here, you had enough. These people were supposed to be perfect, instead they turned obsessive, little button eyes showing up everywhere, watching your every move, you had thought your old life was a prison, now look at this.
You turned back, checking to see if anyone was watching, waiting to stop you, before pulling the key out of your pocket, ripping the boarding off of the door, pulling the panels of wood off one by one, shoving the key into the black door knob, you were just about to turn it, when a voice rang out behind you, no longer was the sweet girl who you played trains with, in the stead was something else just In ther body, you could hear it in her voice.
“Where are you going? You aren’t trying to leave are you?” She spoke, you froze on the spot, hands moving faster, ymtrying to get the stupid door to unlock, before you could even blink, the key snapped in half, not in your hold, in another sudden figure, your other brother. You didn’t even get the chance to speak before be t down and ripped the whole door knob off of it, giving you a knowing glance.
“I told you to stay away from it, I told you didn’t I? Now look, it’s broken” he hissed, throwing the iron knob somewhere else, you knew that I’d both of the siblings were here, the two parents were sure to be here along with them, you were proven right, as a pair of black and yellow buttons popped up behind the Eric girl, carrryijg... what is that?
“Oh my god... OH MY GOD” you screamed, the heads of your parents were in these men’s holds buttons sewn over the eyes, blood seeping out of their decapiated necks, you reMiedn screaming as the heads were discarded, jsut thrown off somewhere else. You were lifted up off the ground in your crying state, hizashi a hands stroked your hair, while his other hand went and wrapped around your butt to support you up.
“We told you baby, we tried to tel you at least. Now there’s nothing up there for you, there was never anything anyways, your safe now... they’ll never hurt you again. You’re ours...
Forever”
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Tell me if you liked it, I can change things if you want:)
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bigskydreaming · 3 years
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Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.
Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?
I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.
This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.
Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?
(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 
It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?
SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).
BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.
Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....
None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?
Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.
I mean?!?!
And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....
And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?
Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?
Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?
Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.
And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.
Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -
(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)
- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?
We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?
Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.
Is that how that went down?
You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?
The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?
Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?
Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?
Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....
They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!
Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?
afshklfhalfhalfhla
Make it make sense!
And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).
BUT.
BUT BUT BUT.
The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.
Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....
THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.
Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...
The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....
That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.
Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....
And you chose not to.
That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.
For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.
And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....
You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).
And its just like, uh, what's up with that?
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yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
The Promise of Rain, blurb 2
The Promise of Rain (part 2?? technically) 
A/n I was not originally planning a second part for this but some people wanted it and this idea came to me and it works better with the context of ‘The Promise of Rain’ but it can technically be read as a stand alone :))
Anyways this might turn into a small series of kinda connected blurbs that are all kind of canon with each other but aren’t necessarily connected except for the reader’s background (the reader is a very sunshine-y person and knows Kaz bc she’s a runaway princess that he was hired to bring back home but she managed to convince him to let her work for him instead)
--
The night air had left me with a chill that made me want nothing more than to have my covers draped over me as I read. I’m normally more sociable after a job, especially after such a simple and safe ending, but a lot of tonight had left me wanting to be alone. 
Well, not truly alone. The company of my books is always welcomed, but tonight I can’t seem to find much comfort within the pages. After almost every paragraph, I find myself distracted by gusts of wind and thoughts of the heavy, silver clouds that seem to make up tonight. A part of me longs for the rain. I know it’s ridiculous to expect rain each time I desire some sense of comfort, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. Especially when the sky so clearly implies it. 
“This must be the fifth time I’ve come here and you’ve been reading.” Kaz’s sudden appearance is almost enough to shake away my lingering somberness. 
I roll my eyes slightly, turning my attention back to the page in front of me. “That observation is just a testament to how often you come in here.” 
His glare is half hearted, a look I’d find endearing if I was less annoyed. “Where else am I going to find a reminder that good people exist in Ketterdam?” 
I think he may have a sixth sense that warns him when I’m treading the line between being annoyed and displeased. Everytime I find myself mad at him in a way that makes me want to avoid him instead of yell at him, Kaz makes some ridiculously heart-melting comment. He steps further into the room. I don’t miss the way he eyes my stretched out legs. Ever since the conversation we had after he woke up after an injury, we’ve fallen into the unmentioned habit of silently inviting the other to stay by moving to make room for them. 
It had started the day after the conversation in which Kaz had admitted that he wanted me to stay with him. He had been sitting on the small couch while discussing the details of a job. Shortly after I walked in he made a point of shifting so that he was clearly on one side of the couch. I didn’t think much about sitting down, but Inej and Jesper exchanged a look. 
Now, though, I keep my legs stretched out on the bed. He eyes my position on the bed, something grim crossing his features. 
“It might rain tonight.” 
He knows me so damn well. I hate it. “I hope so.”
I turn my head, analyzing the way the world seems to be on the cusp of something. I stare at the silver clouds until I feel something hard tap my leg. The tap is firm but not painful. I’m quick to look at Kaz as he lowers his cane. The mention of rain had been a distraction. 
“You distracted me on purpose.” 
“The first rule of the Barrel is to always be prepared.” There’s a slight uptilt to his lips, something I’ve learned to interpret as a sign of teasing. 
How is he so easy to be around one second and so cold the next? I resist a smile. “I’ll take notes.” 
Kaz ignores my passive aggressive tone. His focus seems to be on my legs that have still not moved to offer him a place next to me. “You wear your emotions too openly.” Great, he’s going to make us talk about it. “What reason could you possibly have to be mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you.” It’s a partial truth. 
His expression harshens. “Don’t lie.” 
“I’m not thrilled with you, but I don’t think that’s the same as being mad.” 
Kaz lets out a partial sigh. “No, they’re not the same.” Such an early concession feels like a trap. “With you, the first option is worse.” I don’t have anything to say to that. “Is this because of what I said to Jesper?” 
My posture straightens on instinct. “He wants your validation more than he’d ever admit and I understand that expressing praise isn’t exactly something you do, but would it kill you to not actively insult him?” 
“I didn’t say anything that was wrong. He thinks he’s a gambler but he’s just someone born for losses.” The look I give him must mean something to him, because Kaz is quick to tact on, “That doesn’t make him less valuable of an asset or less relatively dependable.” 
I eye him cautiously, the slightest bit of vulnerability playing at his features. “Don’t look at me like that--and don’t tell me that. Jesper’s the one who could use the occasional reminder from you that you hold him to any regard with positive connotations.” His lips press together like he’s thinking about scolding me for scolding him. “It’s only because I know you care more about Jesper than you’d ever let on.” 
“Jesper’s esteem can handle the blow.” The curtness of his voice is a blow in its own sense. “And he didn’t exactly deserve to be in my good graces after what he did tonight.” 
My sigh is not weighted enough to match Kaz’s newfound fountain of emotion. “We were successful--”
“He left you.” I didn’t know Kaz’s voice was capable of such harshness. “I paired him with you, and he left you--and you almost didn’t make it.” I let the weight of his words take up all the available space in the room, keeping the silence that follows them until some of the heaviness has dissipated. “He could have cost me one of my best people.”
Oh. His harshness, his unwarranted coldness, had been a manifestation of his concern. For me. Guilt knots my stomach. Potential words that may offer Kaz some sort of support raise and die back down in my throat. Kaz turns towards the door. 
“Kaz.” He pauses. There’s a long moment in which I think he won’t turn around, but finally, he does. I tuck my legs beneath me, forcing myself to sit up a little straighter. “I told Jesper to leave because I knew the job would have failed if he had been trapped in that room with me.” I drop my gaze towards the window. “I was right, the job was successful, and I got out in time so it was worth it.”
“You risked your safety?” The harsh facet of his being is making its return in full force. 
“For the job,” I’m careful to keep my words factual, “It’s what we’re supposed to do.”
Kaz’s jaw locks. “When I said that keeping you near me would ruin you this is what I meant.” 
Is it really this big of a deal? I made it out. “Kaz.”
“This wasn’t my best idea.” His words are leached of anything. “You’re going back home. Tomorrow I’ll arrange the voyage myse--” 
“Kaz Brekker you may get to live your life doing anything you want but you don’t get to control mine.” My chin raises an inch, an instinctual act of subtle rebellion. “I am not going back there, even if I’m technically indebted to you because you didn’t return me to my father but that does not mean I’ll--”
“I’m not trying to control you.” His words are sharp, boarding on a yell. “A job like that one wasn’t worth you.” 
From Kaz, I know those words are heavy. There’s a lot of things I could say to that. I could tell him that I wanted to do something for him. I could say that I appreciate him telling me that. I could even say that in his own way, Kaz giving Jesper a hard time because he left me, is kind of cute in a misguided way. The thing is I think all of these responses will make things worse. 
“Kaz,” I keep my voice as steady as possible, “I’m fine, you’re fine, it all worked out.” Scratching the back of my arm, I exhale gently. “I’ll be more careful next time, I promise.” 
I watch him carefully, there’s a slight slump to his shoulders as he exhales. Is the fight leaving him so easily? He walks further into the room. “You better.” He sits down in the space I provided for him slowly. “If you’re not you’ll have worse things to worry about than anything that can happen to you on a job.” He moves his cane forward easily, tapping my knee in a swift motion. 
I roll my eyes at the mock threat. “They do say that there’s nothing to fear in the Barrel like the Dirtyhands.” 
“Remember that.” Any edge in his voice is forced. I fight against a smile that seems to always want to break across my face whenever I think I see something resembling lightness in Kaz. 
“I don’t think I could forget anything about you.” 
He turns his head slightly. “You should.” 
“Too bad.” 
Kaz leans his back against the wall, untensing slightly. “I think you just like disagreeing with me.” 
There’s no point in lying about it. “Only because when you argue with me you give me this really particular look.” 
“A look?” 
Adding insult to injury, I smile. “Sometimes you look like you’re too focused on being angry, like you’re compensating for something.” 
Kaz lets out a bitter sigh. “Maybe if you were less of a puppy I wouldn’t have to--”
The laugh that escapes is most definitely a mistake. “Did you just call me a puppy?” I don’t give him a chance to reply, laughter taking over again. “I mean this in the least argumentative way possible--but you’re so weird sometimes.” 
He rolls his eyes, tensing. “I’m leaving.”
I stifle the rest of my laughter. “No. I was--I was kidding!” I keep my eyes on Kaz, expecting some type of annoyed glare, but his expression is a lot more weighted than that. Odd. “Kaz?” 
“You need to be more careful.” I understand Kaz’s pause as something he does before saying something outside of his nature. “I’m not asking you this as a Crow or a Dreg.” 
On instinct, my posture straightens. “I promised and I meant it.” 
“Sometimes I wish I could believe in Saints,” his voice has taken off a distant quality, almost fragile, “That way I could believe something existed to help what matters.” 
Oh. “You never fail, even if I didn’t believe in Saints I’d believe in you.” 
“You’re wasting your faith.” The sound of lightning cracking is almost enough to make me jump. The rain finally came. 
I know I’ll never convince him that that’s not true. “I don’t think so, but that’s why it’s called faith.” 
“I have faith in some things.” His expression is far off. 
“Like what?” 
Kaz’s eyes find the window. “People that find meaning in the rain.” 
Something in my chest swells. “You’re like the rain.”
We sit there in silence, watching raindrops glide down the window. “What were you reading?” 
The question has me dropping my gaze to the forgotten book on my lap. “I stole this book from the palace before I left. It was my mom’s favorite, she’s read it so much the spine’s completely cracked and the cover is practically falling off.” 
“Hm…” He mumbles. “Read some, the books read in a palace must be worthwhile.” 
A part of me wants to tell him that elitism has no place in literature, but his request leaves me frozen. I nod once, turning to the first page of the book. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife--” 
“Your upbringing makes sense--” 
“You can’t judge it off the first sentence,” he’s insufferable, “It’s setting up irony, and if you’re going to complain--” 
He lets out a conceding sigh. “I’m listening, I’m not interrupting.” 
I keep my eyes on him for a second longer than I should. “Okay.” Dropping my gaze back to the book, I adjust my grip on the worn paperback, “Good.” 
And then I keep reading. 
--
@theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship @mentally-in-northern-italy @uhanddreag 
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nanatsumu · 3 years
Text
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HIGH SCHOOL!SUKUNA x F!READER
thinking about bad boy itadori sukuna who all the kids at school try to steer clear from because they know he’s bad news and if you get involved with him then you’re bound to be tied with bad luck for as long as he lives. well, that is everyone except for the president of the student council who so happens to be his childhood best friend turned lover.
this is mostly written for my own self indulgence and to project my fantasies of having a boyfriend onto sukuna but feel free to treat this as any other headcanon! ps i am pretty sure canon sukuna would kill a baby at any given situation, but this is going to be a revamped version of sukuna written by yours truly ;) and its a high school au so sukuna won’t be a complete menace to society and will actually have a heart heh
also i didn’t realize how long this was going to be??? this is kind of all over place too because i just wanted to throw all of my thoughts onto this post so there might be some plot holes in this LOL
i feel like sukuna would be the type of bad boy who isn’t necessarily a bad boy but everyone at school just paints him as some kind of delinquent because of all the tattoos and piercings he has.
he actually shows up to school more often than you think he would (but that’s only because you’re in most of his classes so long story short: you’re his only motivation for attending class)
“forgets” to bring his work books to class more than usual (in reality he does this on purpose so he has an excuse to be near you) so he requests to sit next to you the entire class period so he can share with you for the meantime but whenever the teachers not looking he’ll go back to admiring your face.
his older twin brother, itadori yuji, is very fond of you since you three grew up together and you both had your chances of being a victim to his antics!
exhibit a: in middle school when you and yuji were watching tv together, the show you two were watching would keep switching to some wrestling match broadcasting on a sports channel and no matter how many times you turned the tv on and off, it just would not stop. but it wasn’t until you heard snickering from the kitchen that you realized sukuna had a spare remote and was the mastermind behind the whole thing.
exhibit b: sukuna and yuji’s mom was the owner of a bakery so every now and then she would have either one of the twins come deliver freshly baked pastries to your household! oh how wrong was she to trust her youngest. sukuna was now a freshman in high school, and by now you would’ve thought that sukuna would have grown out of his childish phase, but WRONG! sukuna was still a menace in your life even past childhood. so when you bit into one of the macaroons, instead of being hit with the overwhelming taste of [favorite flavor], all you could feel was the burning sensation of wasabi kicking into your tastebuds.
yeah after the whole wasabi macaroon freak accident, you stopped accepting everything sukuna offered to you and opted to only eating pastries out of the boxes that yuji delivered to you. (sukuna eventually caught onto this and was just TEENSY bit upset but he would rather down a whole tube of wasabi than to tell you upfront)
now, how did you two even end up dating??? oh boy now that is a story
you see, yours and sukuna’s dynamic growing up was similar to that of tom and jerry’s— you being jerry and sukuna being 10x worse than tom of course
but it wasn’t until a confession after school behind the cherry blossom tree that was known for bringing good luck to successful confessions that sukuna finally realized that maybe he really did like you just a little lot bit
sukuna overheard the boy who was planning on confessing to you talking to his friend group about how “sweet and caring” you are (although sukuna could argue otherwise, you were a little brat. *LIKE HELLO?!&:&:& YOU WEREN’T THE ONE WHO ATE A MACAROON FILLED WASABI**) and obviously his ears perked up at the mention of your name. he grew up with you after all so naturally he would be interested in a conversation that revolved around you.
but then the boys started going on about how “you looked like an easy catch” and how “your body was bangin’!” yeah no, that’s where he drew the line. sure sukuna was an ass and talked shit about you most of the time (in his defense it wasn’t like he was doing it behind your back) but if he ever caught someone else talking about you like that then he would be sure to give them a hard time.
he hid behind one of the bushes near the cherry blossom tree while the boy was professing his love for you. funnily enough, for a moment sukuna forgot why he was originally there because he was too busy trying to stifle a laugh as he watched the boy stumble over his words.
“okay shows over” sukuna thought as the confession was reaching its conclusion, but just as he was about to step in and give the poor boy a piece of his mind, he stopped in his tracks when he heard you roaring with laughter.
“did you really think that i wouldn’t hear about what you and your friends said about me earlier? you’re really pathetic if you think any girl would be easy enough to fall to her knees for you because news flash! you’re a disgusting pig and you deserve to rot in hell for speaking about a girl’s worth like that.”
“it’s kind of sad too, i thought you were a nice boy and i probably would have given you a chance but it seems like you’re even worse than scum! damn it, to think there was somebody out there who’s even worse than sukuna.”
of course sukuna was not pleased to hear that last bit, but he did have a proud grin forming on his face as he watched the boy run away, flustered from your rejection and the embarrassment he was put through.
“sukuna i know you’re hiding behind the bush.”
“huh? i came here way before you got here, there’s no way you could have seen me.” he said as he stood up to his full height.
“well, your laughter isn’t exactly the quietest, plus i can spot that hair of yours from a mile away.”
lets just say, sukuna was glad you didn’t ask him what he was doing there because he wasn’t sure if he could spare the embarrassment of telling you that he was planning on ruining the confession.
after that whole fiasco happened, sukuna started to feel(!&:&::&) things
like he started to notice how you styled your hair differently one day and how you switched to a new perfume that smelled like spearmint (was that weird? for sukuna probably not. he just excuses it as being highly observant)
you weren’t dumb either, you had a feeling sukuna was there that day of the confession because he too had overheard the conversation between the boy and his friends as well (you knew he was prideful and if you brought it up then he probably would’ve denied it)
so from there on out it was just mutual pining at the point except... well.... not really??
i feel like it was just an unspoken agreement between you two that you guys were “together” but not “together together” because he started to treat you differently than he would before. like for example, he’d carry your bag for you whenever you guys would walk home (yuji was confused by this at first because if anything, it would have made more sense to see sukuna make you carry HIS bag, but he eventually caught on to sukuna’s feelings for you because they were twin brothers after all), he started walking you to class more often even though his class was all the way on the other side of the school (you asked him why but he just shrugged and said he was just “killing time” so that he wouldn’t have to go to class and then you ended up scolding him), and there was also that one time you miraculously found a $20 bill in your backpack after mentioning to sukuna that there was this cute top you saw at the mall the other day but didn’t have enough money at the time to purchase it (you asked him about this but he said it was probably yuji, but you didn’t want to pry any further since you wanted to cherish the fact that sukuna cared that much)
but eventually you got sick of this whole push and pull game that you physically had to tug the collar of his school uniform and pull him in for a kiss (he was visibly shocked at this because he never would’ve imagined you as the assertive type. not that he was complaining though)
“oya? didn’t think you liked me this much kitten.” he said laughing while you rolled your eyes.
“as if, i got tired of you being a wuss so one of us had to wear the pants in the relationship.” you snorted, causing him to irk.
to be honest, your relationship with him is smooth sailing because you both were pretty chill people and you didn’t have to worry about him sneaking behind your back to see other girls because 1. literally all the girls at school are terrified of him and 2. he knew what you were capable of doing to him if you were to ever catch him cheating on you so he wants to stay on your good side
jealous and possessive don’t exist in his dictionary because he is the epitome of those two words. remember what i said about how your relationship is smooth sailing? i kinda lied.
he’s easily jealous like for example: when you were in english class and the teacher had you guys jot down some notes, you realized you forgot to ask for your pencil back when you lent it to your friend last period.
so you asked sukuna to borrow a pencil but instead of giving you a pencil, he called you an idiot for being so forgetful.
this makes you mad so you turn to your male classmate since he was sitting on your opposite side and ask him for a pencil instead.
sukuna was practically fuming the entire class period and once the day ended and you two were back at your place, he made sure to mark you real good. (oh he also went out to buy a pack of mechanical pencils to sneak into your backpack so that next time you forget your pencils, you’ll have 10 extra pencils sitting in your backpack as backup)
he’s not a big fan of pda in public, but on the chances he will show some of it, the most he will do is wrap an arm around your shoulder or waist whenever some dude is trying to hit on you.
BUT IN PRIVATE? better buckle up because your in for a ride wink wink
really likes putting hickeys on you to a fault! but will never put any visible ones on your neck because he doesn’t want your parents to view him as some kind of animal (but he has nothing to worry about because your parents really like him and are grateful for the fact that he’s very loyal to you, and you guys grew up together so it’s only natural that your parents are accepting of him since they already know he has a good heart underneath that tough facade of his)
oh, and yuji starts learning how to knock whenever you come over (or shuts himself in his room for the meantime if he thinks it’s unsafe to step out of his room) because chances are, you’re probably making out with sukuna in his room or smth.
now onto the spicy stuff
when you and sukuna first started dating, the first thing you told him was that you weren’t ready to have sex yet because you were nervous and sukuna understood and told you that he was willing to wait for whenever you were ready.
but when you were ready though, it was kind of spontaneous and you weren’t even wearing a matching pair of bra and underwear that day
you two were chilling in your room watching some stupid (according to sukuna) animal documentary when suddenly you felt his hand on your thigh
dating sukuna and all, it was normal for him to have his hands on some part of your body (whether it be your thigh or your waist) while you two were in bed.
but you were feeling a bit bolder HORNEE than usual so you began to leave a hot trail of kisses starting from his jaw all the way down to his neck.
sukuna obviously got the memo but before those kisses could escalate into something more daring, he asked you once more if you were completely sure you wanted to do it and once you gave him the green light, he was quick to tug his shirt over his head and pounce on you.
he started getting really into it though and accidentally bit your thigh which made you loose your high and scold him for it, but he let out a hearty laugh and muttered a quick apology before getting back into business
sike i lied, remember what i said about it being spontaneous? yeah, you technically didn’t loose your virginity to him that day because after he finished prepping you, you both came to a realization that you didn’t have a condom.
oh well, there’s always next time!
i think sukuna is a sucker for pet names: his favorite thing to call you is either kitten or princess and that’s it LOL he finds calling you baby or babe is a bit too cheesy for him
but he likes it when you call him baby or babe ;)
date nights consist of either staying in and cuddling in his room, going out for a walk at night (but very very late though. there’s still lamp posts that guide your way through the streets but it gives you the heebie jeebies to be out walking outside so late. sukuna always reminds you that nothing bad will happen as long as he’s right by your side), or just spending time with you and your families.
but if you’re really down to do it, he’ll probably initiate a make out session that’ll lead to y’all fucking one way or another (he only ever does it if he is 100% sure that you’re feeling it because he knows you get easily embarrassed if he asks you straight up)
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(this part is mainly written for me because i love the idea of sukuna being over at family functions, but it can be applied as part of the general hc heh) if you took him to any of your family functions as your plus one for the first time, all the aunts and uncles would be a bit wary of him at first due to all of the tattoos and piercings he has (sukuna swears he has never felt so self conscious before) but after they strike up a conversation with him and find out that he’s actually a good guy who knows what he wants to do in the future and is very loyal to you, they start to like him more.
your little cousins adore him and love it when he comes over because sukuna is a very tall high schooler which makes him the perfect candidate as a monkey bar
so when you noticed that all the little ones started to climb on his body and mess around with his hair, you were quick to react because you knew your boyfriend was easily irritable which prompted you to think he hated kids
but there was nothing to worry about because when you saw him playing around with them and even crack a smile, you felt your heart grow fuzzy at the sight and you knew right then and there that you wanted to stick by sukuna’s side for the rest of your life
and in the unfortunate circumstances that sukuna is too busy to make it to one of your functions, the first thing everyone asks is “where’s your boyfriend?” or “where’s ‘kuna? i wanna play with him!”
so you have to facetime him and let him know that everyone is wondering where he is (your phone is dead by the end of the night because after the adults get their turn at saying hi to your boyfriend, the kids snatch your phone and end up talking to him for the rest of the night)
but in conclusion, everyone is waiting for the day he gets on one knee to propose to you and your parents are itching to get to get call sukuna their son-in-law :))
also don’t forget that your parents want two grandchildren: one boy and one girl!
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lucy-sky · 3 years
Text
The Break of Dawn (Leo Barnes x f!Reader)
You work in a small diner not far from the bus station and try to get over a tragic event that happened to you three years ago. Leo Barnes is one of the steady customers, and at some point you realize there's mutual attraction between the two of you. There's no time for romance though - only one night left before the annual Purge, and Leo has an important job to keep Senator Roan safe as it's the only chance to finally put an end to the Purge.
Words: 3 656
Warnings: Sexual content (not super detailed, I would rate this story as Mature rather than Explicit, but still they f*ck), a bit of angst (trigger warning: loss), but Leo is a caring and protective guy who’s ready to hold you
A/N: My first time writing Leo Barnes or any Frank Grillo character, so please don't be mean :))
Taglist: @sweetfictionalworld, @skvatnavle​, @lunamoon-87​
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“There he is.”
Stella pokes you with her elbow.
“What?”
“Your tough guy. He’s here,” she nods to the corner of the diner and you don’t even need to follow her gesture to know that Leo Barnes is sitting there, his usual spot. He’s a bit early today, and it’s understandable - you too find it harder to sleep well as the Purge is getting closer.
“He’s not my tough guy, Stells,” you roll your eyes.
“Oh yeah? Tell it to someone else,” she snorts. “So far I’m just wondering how long you’re gonna keep ignoring that sexual tension…”
“Stella, please.”
“What? Honestly, I don’t know why he’s being such a gentleman… But just FYI, y/n… You know it’s not the 19th century and you actually can make the first move?”
“Even if I wanted to, it’s not the right time,” you shrug. “You know he’s doing an important job. He’s got plenty of stuff to think about and it’s definitely not romance.”
“Who’s talking about romance, sis?” Stella laughs. “You’re both so goddamn tense, you need to blow off some steam. No, seriously. You need to get laid. He needs to get laid. It’s just way too obvious!”
“Oh dear god, just please shut up…” you groan.
“Fine,” she gives you a wicked smirk. “If you don’t want him, then I’m bringing his order.”
You chuckle at this.
“Don’t you dare.”
  To be completely honest, you can’t deny that Stella is partly right. There is something between you and this grumpy silent man in the corner. But what exactly? You can’t really put it into words, it’s not just the attraction, or sexual tension as Stella says. You do find him handsome though, you admit that. A couple of times when he was wearing a t-shirt, you caught yourself staring at his muscular arms. Yes, guilty. And still… There’s more than that. You’d call it some sort of mutual understanding.
Leo Barnes works for Senator Roan. In the past, he used to be a cop, now he is the head of security for her. You learnt that one night when he was here, having his usual late dinner. The TV was on, evening news, something about the election of course. And suddenly you noticed him there, standing behind Roan’s back with another guy in a formal dark suit. You blinked, stared at the screen, then looked back at him. He caught your glance.
“Is that… you?” you blurted, realizing too late that you said it out loud. But he smiled, and in his smile there was no anger or annoyance.
“Apparently so,” he replied with a soft chuckle and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “How do I look?”
You started talking ever since then. Barnes usually came to the diner twice - in the morning he just had a mug of black coffee, and in the evening he ordered something to eat. Mornings were often crowded as many people passed the diner before heading to work in the city, so you were busy. But the evenings were mostly quiet. 
You often stayed at work late, covering Stella who had to run to her kids or another date. You didn’t mind that since work was always your way to escape. Nobody was waiting for you at home anyways. Somehow, Leo Barnes started to keep you company. He wasn’t much of a talker and you were never into heartfelt conversations with the clients here, but something just clicked. Especially after you learnt about his job and it became clear that your views on the Purge are the same.
Many people hate The Purge, as well as many people support it. Some people hate it because they’re scared for their loved ones, their business (small shop owners who don’t have enough money to afford the Purge insurance often suffer), or they hate it just because they’re against violence in general. And the others… They have more personal reasons. You’re one of them. And somehow, even if you don’t know for sure, you just feel like Leo Barnes has personal reasons as well. He never really told you, and you don’t dare to ask because you know well enough how the memories can hurt. You didn’t tell him either. But still, you don’t know how exactly it worked, you just looked at each other and saw it. It’s like an unspoken secret between the two of you. The details don’t matter anyway. Your stories are in the past and you can’t change it, but what you can change is the future. If Senator Charlene Roan wins the election - the Purge will finally end. You can help with your vote, and Leo… Leo is determined to do anything to help her survive this year. Just this year, and hopefully no one would ever have to survive this nightmare again. You both want it more than anything else.
  “Hey.”
You smile at Leo as you place a mug of coffee and a plate on the table in front of him.
“Hey…” he looks confused when he sees the food. Nothing really special: eggs, bacon, some beans and a toast. “What’s that? I... only asked for the usual…”
“Just thought you might need some extra fuel,” you shug. “Only one night left before the Purge, so… you must have a lot of work to do.”
“Yeah, you’re right… I actually do,” he gives you a tired smile. “Thank you.”
“Welcome,” you nod and turn to leave, but Leo suddenly touches your arm and you freeze.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?” you face him again.
“Do you work tomorrow?”
“Yes… Why are you asking?..” you give him a puzzled look.
“Well uh… To be honest I’d be happier if you took a day off… You know, just to make sure you’re safe…”
You feel the heat on your cheeks. Does… does he worry about you?.. The realization makes your heart shrink for a second. Apparently he’s not just someone who understands, he’s someone who cares. You already forgot what it feels like when someone really cares. Well, of course there are your parents, but they’re far away… And Leo, he’s right here.
“It’s okay,” you say, trying not to look too baffled. “Tomorrow we’re closing the diner earlier, right after lunchtime, so I’ll be home long before the Purge begins. There’s no need to worry, really.”
“Good,” Barnes nods. “I just… don’t think I’ll be able to come over and check on you tomorrow, so I just…” he stutters as if trying to figure out something to say. 
“I just want you to be careful, okay?” he finally utters, and to your surprise his hand reaches yours, squeezing it lightly. “Just be careful, yeah?”
“Yeah, I... Of course I will,” you try to smile reassuringly. “I promise.”
  *
There’s about five minutes left before closing hour when Leo appears. As usual, you’re still here, helping Mary, the chief and the owner’s wife with all the cleaning up after the working day. While she’s in the kitchen, you wipe the tables, TV-set is murmuring something in the corner. The election, the purge… Always the same.
“You’re closed?” he asks, meeting your gaze. “Sorry, I… Didn’t realize it’s that late already…”
“We’re about to close, but it’s fine, come in!” you assure smiling at him maybe a bit more brightly than you wanted to show. “We’ll get you something to eat, right, Mary?” 
“Sure thing,” she replies from the kitchen door. You weren’t the only one who saw Barnes on TV. Since then, he became an always welcome guest as the diner owners supported Roan as well. Otherwise, to be honest you don’t think you could possibly be able to work for them.
You put a plate with food in front Leo as he takes a seat at the counter. While he’s eating silently, you wipe the coffee mugs and place them carefully on the shelf. The TV keeps talking. Something about the bloomimg economy and international murder tourists who keep coming to the US to take part in the annual Purge. You glance at the screen, see their gut-wrenchingly excited faces.
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath and shake your head. “Fucking insane.”
“True,” you nearly jump at his words, as you didn’t realize Leo heard you. “I knew people who killed someone on Purge night for… different reasons. But those who kill just because they enjoy it, for fun or sport or whatever you call it - those are the most dangerous.”
“They’re just psychopaths. People like that should be kept in mental hospitals or something. But they just walk around as if nothing’s wrong with them. And the new founding fathers keep telling them how proud they are of them…”
“Roan’s gonna make it stop,” Mary joins the conversation. “This lady’s got some balls, am I right, sir?”
“Yes ma’am,” Barnes chuckles. “She absolutely got them.”
  You leave the diner together with Leo. Mary chose to stay inside, waiting for her husband to come pick her up in a few minutes. The night is a bit chilly; you’re shivering, not sure if it’s the cold or the fact that you’re alone with him for the first time.
“Where’s your car?” he asks.
“Oh um… It’s in the service actually. So I’m going to the bus station right over there,” you point. Barnes frowns.
“What about tomorrow?”
“Stella promised to give me a ride home. Leo… I’ll be okay. It’s not the first Purge night in my life, you know.”
“Right,” he clears his throat. “Anyway, since I’m here I can drive you home.”
“You… sure it’s okay?” your voice betrays you a little. “I mean you must be tired…”
“I’m okay,” he assures, then nods at his car. “Come on. I insist.”
“Okay,” you hear yourself saying.
  *
You’re mostly silent on the way. You feel a bit tense, but also kinda… weirdly excited to be in this car, next to him. Damn. Is Stella right, and you’re actually into him? Definitely so. But after all these years you almost completely forgot how it feels - to be into someone or how the relationships work. As if you’re a teenager again. Leo Barnes is the first man who actually made you think of something close to romantic longing since… That night.
“It’s here?” he asks as you reach your house. You nod, and he pulls over. You wait for him to say something, to tell you goodnight maybe, but he doesn’t. Without the sound of the car engine, the silence between you becomes even more awkward. You open your mouth to say goodbye to him, but instead different words suddenly come out.
“Leo, I…” 
He looks at you intently. You stare down at your knees.
“Yeah?”
“I just… The fact that you worry about me - it’s very nice of you, really. And… I just wanted you to know that I worry about you too. I worry about you a lot actually…”
“Y/n…” his voice is quiet as he brings his hand to your face, gently urging you to look up at him. His eyes look darker than usual in the dim light of the street lamp nearby. You think if it’s possible to drown in someone’s eyes you’d already be gone.
“I’ll be fine, okay?” he says softly. “It’s gonna be a tough night for sure, but I’ll be fine, I have to be fine. You gotta trust me on this. You trust me?”
“Yes,” you barely whisper, unable to take your eyes from his, and when the tension becomes almost unbearable, his lips finally crush on yours.
You both expected and didn’t expect it, didn’t dare to admit even to yourself how much you really wanted it. Your breath hitches somewhere in your throat as you kiss him back eagerly, forgetting about everything and everyone for this moment that lasts so long and so painfully short at once. You’re both panting as your lips part, foreheads pressed together. 
“I… I think I should go,” you mumble as a rush of panic suddenly overwhelms you.
“Yeah… Yeah…” he nods. “You should get some rest.”
“You too.”
You squeeze his hand for a second. Gosh, you didn’t even realize your hand was on his all this time. 
“Good night,” you finally murmur, bracing yourself to get out of the car. You feel like something else needs to be said, but can’t really figure out what.
  *
You enter the house and just lean against the door, heart hammering wildly inside your chest. You close your eyes and try to catch your breath. What the hell just happened? And why are you reacting like that? There’s nothing wrong about this kiss. You’re two single adults… Well, probably single. Leo doesn’t wear a ring, so… Damn it, you really got out of practice when it comes to relationships.
A knock on the door made your eyes snap open. As if in a daze, you slowly turn and reach the door handle, already knowing who you’re going to see.
Leo doesn’t say anything. And you can’t read the expression in his eyes, or you simply don’t have time for it, because the next moment he steps inside, his hands cup your cheeks and he kisses you with such longing and desperation it nearly kicks the breath out of your lungs. You don’t know what you’re doing any more, but your fingers are already in his dark hair, scratching the nape of his neck while his lips and tongue keep attacking your mouth. It feels like shockwaves running through your body, and for the first time in years you feel just so alive. All this time your feelings, passions and emotions were asleep, everything around you seemed pale and lifeless as if someone turned down the contrast, but something changed. Not right now, not in the snap of a finger, of course; it happened gradually. Something kept changing deep within you since the very first time your eyes met, and now - you’re finally ready to feel something. To let him in.
You don't think about it though. Or about anything else, to be honest. All you can focus on is what his lips are doing to you, how hot his breath is and how weirdly nice his stubble feels against your skin. Leo’s coat falls on the floor. His big hands seize your waist as he lifts you up, causing you to grip onto his broad shoulders. Pressing you against the nearest wall, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, the kisses are sloppy, open-mouthed, and you can't suppress a soft moan. He's big and strong, you feel small underneath him, but you like it. 
You can’t even remember clearly how you finally reached the bedroom, frantically helping each other to get rid of the clothes. When you tumble down and he hovers over you, the skin to skin contact is overwhelming. He brushes your hair away from your flushed face, kisses you with sudden tenderness. The look in his hazel eyes is warm yet still full of passion as you cup his cheek and he presses his lips to your palm. An affectionate gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, but you both are too impatient to be soft right now. So he leans in, kissing you harder this time, grunting against your mouth when you pull him closer, craving as much of him as possible. You can feel him twitching against your lower belly as you wrap your legs around him, eager to get more pressure. He’s not even inside you yet, but it already feels so good you can’t help bucking your hips, earning a low groan from him at the friction. His lips trail along your jawline, down to the side of your neck, where he kisses and nibbles, and you just know there’s gonna be marks tomorrow, but damn, you can’t care less.
When he finally enters you and starts moving, you’re almost delirious. Clinging to him, you gasp and whisper his name into his skin, feel the muscles on his back tense as he thrusts deeper. The wave of bliss hits you so hard your vision turns blurry and for a few seconds it feels like you’re not there.
  *
Reality comes back to you slowly, with all the dark and troubled thoughts you can’t escape. Leo is lying next to you with his eyes closed, breathing evenly, so you think he must be asleep. Good for him. Carefully, you slip out of the bed to get a glass of water. It doesn’t help you to get rid of the lump in your throat though. Back to the bedroom, you sit on the edge of the bed and let out a deep sigh, trying to fight back tears. Too many emotions for one night.
“Y/n.”
Leo’s voice doesn’t even seem sleepy. You can feel him shifting in bed to reach you, the warmth of his calloused hand stroking your back soothingly.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, uh…” You shake your head, bringing your hand to rub your eyes. “I’m good. It’s just… It’s been a while since I… You know…”
“I know. It’s been a while for me as well.”
“I lost my boyfriend three years ago,” you blurt out, surprising yourself that you said it out loud. “During the Purge night. He um… He was a medical student. We lived in an apartment building and we heard someone crying for help. I wanted to stop him but he just couldn’t ignore someone who needed help, you know. He got shot accidentally, right into his head. There was no chance to save him.”
Leo’s hand gently squeezes your shoulder.
“Sorry, I… Don’t even know why I’m telling you this. I’ve never talked about him since the funeral…”
“It’s okay,” he moves closer, pressing a kiss against your shoulder blade.
“I was so angry at first, you know,” now that you start talking you seemingly cannot stop. “I wished I could find and kill them. But then I thought he wouldn’t want me to become a murderer...”
He presses his forehead against the back of your head for a moment. “I know how you feel, y/n.”
You finally turn to meet his gaze. 
“I lost my son. I know what this anger feels like. Two years ago all I was thinking about on the Purge night was revenge. I was determined, almost obsessed.”
“Did… you do it?”
“No. I was close to it. Very close. But… One wise person made me realize that it wouldn’t help. Violence only brings more violence.”
“It has to be stopped,” you whisper.
“Yes,” he nods. “That’s why I left the police. Cops have to stay away from the Purge. I couldn’t any more. At least now I know I'm doing the right thing.”
“Right… Just… I’m just scared of losing you too,” you say very quietly, but he hears you anyway. His strong arms wrap around your body, pulling you closer, enclosing into his warmth. Making you feel safe.
“Hey, hey...” He whispers into your hair as he nuzzles into the top of your head. “It’s not gonna happen, you hear me? Everything’s gonna be alright. I promise.”
  *
You have no doubt your colleagues noticed who drove you to work this morning. But today no one is in the mood for comments, not even Stella. Even though the work goes on as usual, there’s still this tension in the air before the Purge night. 
Through the window you can see a bunch of guys gathered around the car with an open trunk full of baseball bats and other stuff you can’t discern. The owner proudly shows off his stuff, other guys laugh, they look pretty chill and relaxed, and your stomach nearly twists at the sight. 
  *
All night you could barely sleep a wink. A knock on the door drags you out of troubled slumber. At first you’re not even sure if you really heard it or it was in your dream. But the sounds repeat and you jump off the bed and without even caring to slip something over the huge t-shirt you sleep in. Barefoot, you rush to the door, open it with shaky hands.
He looks so exhausted it seems like he can barely stand. The collar of his shirt that used to be white is now stained with blood. And yet… He’s smiling.
“Leo!..” you gasp, stepping towards him and bringing your hand to his stubbly cheek. “Oh my god, are you… Everything okay?..”
“I’m great,” he breathes out huskily, and his smile slowly turns into a wide grin. “We did it, baby.”
You don’t even try to hold back tears as you fall into his arms, bury your face into his chest. He smells a bit like sweat and blood, but you absolutely don’t care. “I’m so glad you’re here,” you mumble into his ruined shirt. “I’m here,” he whispers back, stroking your hair. Then you realize the two of you are still standing at the porch.
“Alright,” you say, drawing back a little. “Let’s get you in, you need some rest… And you’re probably hungry too… And you definitely need a shower…”
“Wait, y/n. Let’s just… Stay here for a bit? I think we both need to catch a breath,” he chuckles crookedly, reaching out to wipe a tear from your cheek. You smile back.
“Okay.”
  Sitting on the porch with your head on Leo’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around your frame, you watch the sky becoming lighter and lighter as the dawn breaks. You can hear the sounds of sirens in the distance. The city’s slowly getting back to life, waking up after another nightmare. 
You both know it’s not the end, the war isn’t won yet, but at least you won this very important battle. And for the first time in what seems like ages you have a good feeling about the future.
*
Thanks for reading! 
Hugs, Lucy
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