#( * v. i’m pretty cool once you get to know me // main. )

[angelparadox]

@penniesfortheferryman cont from x

the expression on Kaz's face falters as he watches Kharon, clearly a lot worse off than the latter had expressed. he's quick on his feet to help the ferry man, arms outstretched to keep him steady. "alr'ght let's get you sat down and then i can take a look at that, yeah?" Kaz has every intention of healing Kharon, of course, but he has to make sure the wounds aren't too bad off---he might have healing powers, but even what they have is limited, much to his dismay. "what demon wanker did this to ya, anyways?"

#penniesfortheferryman #( * v. i’m pretty cool once you get to know me // main. ) #i hope it's okay that i continued this djfakldfj :]

[its-pip-art]

Chokehold

Astarion x Tav (f)

Warnings: NSFW 18+, minors DNI, smut, blood, p in v sex, fingering, blood drinking, slight praise kink, slight pain/injury kink, porn with no plot

Summary: Astarion gets a little bit TOO into Abdirak's demonstration of torture on Tav in the Shattered Sanctum. Has to immediately steal her away and sort himself out

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes: I was going to write a whole fic about Astarion and my Tav, Antillia and this was one of the plot points, but I woke up this morning and wanted to write it. So if I ever get around to writing the fic I'll re-write this scene and add more delicious, angsty, lovey stuff into it - this is just bare-bones shit. Plus lack of character description in this makes me shake because I wanted to keep it as vague as possible so it's easier to project yourself/Tav into it.

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Astarion throbbed against the leather of his trousers, the once gentle want for her now burgeoning desperation. It was becoming painful. Each strike committed against her made him pulse with desire. His eyes followed the pretty rivulets of blood that escaped her broken skin. “Keep going.” He urged, doing everything he could not to moan her name.

Tav braced against the final strike and she could do nothing but yelp and tremble in the wake of it. She drew in ragged breaths in an attempt to calm herself. 

“You have earned her love, sweet thing. Loviatar is so very impressed.”

Astarion watched Tav dangerously as she composed herself and thanked the man with an earnest smile (oddly misplaced, he thought, given the circumstances). The first moment after they stepped out of the room Astarion seized Tav’s wrist and dragged her off to the side. “We have to go.” He hissed.

Tav stared at him bewildered and with growing worry that her odd encounter with Abdirak had inadvertently caused trouble somewhere else in the sanctum, “is something wrong?” She could feel him shaking against her. She held his gaze, the brilliant red giving way to black, his pupils were so dilated…

Astarion held her arms, mostly to steady himself but it was all undone when the cool wet of her blood finally deigned to touch him. His eyes flickered shut from the exquisite sensation, and when they opened they were dark. The light started to disappear between the two of them as the distance closed. His body tipped towards her. “I’m going to fuck you.” 

Tav lit red with the abruptness of proximity and his command. “Right now?” She asked in a hoarse whisper, but a wry smile broke through at the vulgar thrill of it. “The torture stuff got you going, didn’t it?” She felt fervour lighting within her when Astarion smiled at her, that dazzling smile.

“Immensely so.” Astarion whispered. He felt a little bit of comfort from the way she flushed, knowing that he was soon to get what he craved. He shot a glance over his shoulder, both Karlach and Shadowheart hadn’t gone with them into the priest's room, and for that, he was eternally thankful. He straightened up, clutched Tav’s wrist and began the search for a secluded room - a secret place for him to indulge wholly in his biting desire. He led Tav quietly and quickly through meandering passageways, leaving behind the thrum of the main hall until the sound became just a hum, and then, nothing. 

Tav gazed around the silent room that was lit only by a few candles and she leaned against one of the sarcophagus’s, which eased the strain on her back greatly but did nothing to aid her mounting hunger. She watched Astarion pull various crates and large objects in front of the door to block it. “Is that necessary?” She was joking, and only a little concerned. But before she could utter another word he was between her legs grasping her throat, and the wind was well and truly knocked out of her. 

Astarion’s expert fingers began to release the leather straps and laces that kept him from her deliciously soft skin. He eased the thick shirt off and his eyes danced over the crest of her shoulders, where he could see the beginnings of her wounds. “Show me.”

Tav’s skin stung with goosebumps at the demand and she turned her back on Astarion, her stomach twisting with pleasure at the gasp that came from him. She flinched at the coolness of his touch, one hand resting on her waist and the other carefully tracing the fresh lines in her back. “Ah-!” She gasped when the hot flat of his tongue dragged along her upper back. She felt a thump between her legs immediately and she braced herself against the hard stone tomb. 

Astarion sighed with the instant gratification of her blood flooding his tastebuds - the most beguiling and richest of wines, and as always, utterly dizzying. He nudged his hips against her and his determined cock pressured his leathers once more. He tightened his grip on Tav’s waist, eliciting a strangled whine. Silently he guided her to face him, beguiled by the way she gazed at him…breathlessly wanton. “Darling…” he said so softly as his raptured gaze devoured her heaving chest, his fingers carefully tracing down her clavicle where old marks healed from their last tryst covered her supple breasts. He bent to kiss them, admiring how pillowy they were and how they juxtaposed his hardness so wonderfully. 

Tav watched Astarion kiss and kneed at her, her brows knitted in a deep but pleasured frown as his teeth plucked at her stiff nipple. She raked her fingers through his wicked curls and guided his lips to hers, finally tasting him. The advance quickly deepened and she could feel his teeth teasing at her bottom lip, the weight and heat of his body pressed against her. A rough hand pulled her flush against him she could finally feel his tortured cock press against her stomach. As if he heard her plea she was lifted and perched atop the sarcophagus and his rigidness lined up perfectly with her wetness. She reached quickly into his trousers and gripped him, laughing into his kiss at the reaction. “Astarion…” She pressed her forehead against his as she began to work her hand up and down his shaft.

Astarion managed to steal a glance at her as she sighed out his name, the dim candlelight danced in her eyes and her skin was pricked with sweat already. He pulled quickly at her trousers and threw them behind him and he pushed her forcefully onto her back and he fucked his fingers into her, devouring her expression as she convulsed beneath him. “You are soaking, love.” He nipped mischievously at her jawline and slapped away her searching hand. “Not yet.” He warned.

Tav threw her head back and her back involuntarily arched as Astarion continued to viciously pump his fingers into her. She wanted to take control somehow. She considered her next move carefully, which was extremely difficult to do in her current situation, she could quite easily carry on as she was - he was excellent with his hands. But she wanted to be filled. 

Once again she lulled Astarion’s lips to hers and held him in a kiss as she reached across herself to drench her fingers in her blood. She broke the kiss and slipped her fingers into his mouth and he groaned, clamping his lips around them and sucking. Tav felt her legs begin to shake from the sensation of her quickly building orgasm but she disrupted his rhythm and it receded. She took the chance to untangle herself and spin beneath him so that her bare arse pressed against his pulsating cock, she pushed back further and grinned when he moaned - an aching moan. “You said you wanted to fuck me,” she glowered over her shoulder at him, “so fuck me.”

Astarion could have finished there and then at the sight of her eclipsed by shadow - his shadow. His hunger for her grew, but not only that, the pleasure in denying light any access to her - he was greedy for all of the spaces it had touched in the past. He wanted the sun to envy him, to resent his sinful kisses, his decadent touches and his maddening caresses. 

He pushed his fingers back inside of Tav briefly and used the wetness to lubricate himself with a few languid pumps. His rapacious hands rocked her onto him, setting a brutal pace. His scarlet eyes burned into her back at the redness of her skin, he felt no shame for the ecstasy her pain had brought him. For a moment the only sound other than their laboured breathing was the slapping of his hips against the meat of her arse, and if he wasn’t so offended by her silence he would have enjoyed watching her ripple in the wake of his thrusts. But Tav had a habit of being a nearly silent lover, mostly due to fear of being overheard - which did not line up with Astarion's depraved need to hear her scream his name. He took a fistful of her hair, wrapped his other hand beneath her torso and pulled her up so his lips could meet her ear. “We have a rare opportunity, love, you can howl and you won’t be heard.” He wasn’t entirely sure that was the case, but he wanted her to sing, needed her to sing. 

Tav shuddered against him as his nimble fingers closed around her throat. Her heart pounded against her ribcage, and as Astarion had confirmed before, he was able to hear it. The first rumbles of vocal pleasure began to thrill out of her, slightly performative to begin with, but even those made Astarion rut harder against her, prompting a genuine and searing wail of pleasure. She was released back onto resting on her elbows, allowing her to drive some of the motion against him - the response of which made her keen loudly. 

“That’s it,” Astarion growled in praise as he marauded every depth of her. “Good girl.” He sharply inhaled as Tav pounded back at him. He hunched over her, desperate to be as close to her as possible. He pushed his fingers into her mouth and when they were sufficiently sodden he took them to her folds and began to circle her throbbing clit. The reaction to which was a delicious buck of her hips that all but destroyed her grasp on control - he now had it back. 

Tav grasped desperately for anything to hold onto to centre herself as Astarion mercilessly fucked her. Her skin was white hot and her vision was clouding. “A-Astarion-…” She managed shakily.

“Yes, love?” 

Tav could feel the spread of heat in her stomach, the rope pulled taught. “I’m going to…” She couldn’t manage the last part, her lungs needed air and she was becoming delirious. 

“What, darling? You’re going to what?” Astarion relished the way she writhed and reared against him, his fingers worked more ferociously now - agitating her further. 

“Cum.” Tav choked out, “I’m going to cum.” She was burning up, searing. She could feel Astarion's hot breath on the back of her neck, his teeth seeking a spot to sink into her.  And instantly it all fell apart, the rope snapped the moment he bit into her. “Gods, Astarion!” She cried and mumbled and mewled as her body succumbed to rhapsody. 

Astarion drank from her blissfully, her clenching and undulating coupled with the exquisiteness of her blood tipped him over the edge and he emptied himself into her, his pace eventually slowing to a tired stop. He kissed the tip of her ear and nipped the lobe. “You’re a dream.” He sighed into her hair. 

Tav laughed. “So are you.” 

#astarion smut #astarion fanfic #astarion fanfiction #astarion x tav #astarion x you #astarion x reader #astarion fluff #astarion romance #astarion x female tav #astarion x f!tav #astarion x f!reader

[bits-and-babs]

i’m so sorry for your loss. i hope you’ve received a lot of requests though and are managing to stay distracted 💛

could i please request some soft period sex with din djarin? i’ve been loving your din fics lately and there really aren’t enough people out there writing for him, so thank you for doing god’s work!!

𝐂𝐘𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒 — 𝐃𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐉𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍

» PAIRING : The Mandalorian x f! Reader

» CONTENTS : established fwb relationship, feeeelinggggs, period sex (duh), p in v sex, he talks you through it, cream pie (must I say it again, *wrap it kids*). He removes the helmet but you don’t see his face. Romantic as Mando can get. 18+, kiddos.

» AUTHORS NOTE : thank you for your condolences sweet pea. I’m doing much better with all these asks to work through!

» DIN MASTERLIST : here || MAIN MASTERLIST : here

“You’re in pain.”

For a man that doesn’t like droids, the voice that floats through The Mandalorians modulator sure sounds droid-esque. His tone is flat, devoid of emotion as he tries to ascertain the reason for your scrunched-up brows.

“I’m fine,” you dismiss awkwardly. The Mandalorian would have to set you alight with his flamethrower vambrace if he wanted to pry the information out of you.

Your period has started, settling a creeping pain across your lower back that kicks into what you can only describe as cramp-hyperspace. You’re both irritable and needy simultaneously, desperate for his attention yet frustrated by his presence all at once. Besides, you couldn’t call what you and The Mandalorian had a ‘relationship’. Sharing a cot every once in a while to ease the frustration built in a tin can in hyperspace wasn’t exactly marriage, was it?

A leather-clad hand gently finds its way onto the small of your back, rubbing slowly against the tight muscles there and soothing the ache that’s so intense it feels like it may pull away the flesh from your spine.

“I heard…” The Mandalorian hesitates for a moment, a twang of nervousness sounding from the tip of his tongue. “I heard that release is… is good for the pain.”

Your heart plummets into your stomach when his visor tilts to you, taking in your expression. His hand slides along the curve of your ass ever so gently, a ghost of a touch that feels more likely to be a figment of the force than something the big, burly Mandalorian could muster.

“Mando-“

He’s on you in a second, grabbing underneath your ass and hoisting you upwards in a strong lift that makes your head spin. You push your forehead to the smooth, cold metal of his helmet as he struggles to pull your pants down. He doesn’t get them past your knees, pushing your back against the wall and groaning as he works at his flight suit.

“I-I’m bleeding, Man-“

“I don’t care,” he rasps, voice dripping with arousal as he pulls his cock out from his pants. You can hear him work at it for a moment, his breath picking up as you whimper. “If you want me to fuck you- if that’s what you need- stars- I’ll give it to you, pretty baby, give you anything you need.”

He’s babbling, pushing your panties to the side and swiping his gloved fingers through your folds until the leather catches on your clit. You gasp loudly, the slight friction enough for your hips to jump off the wall.

Mando doesn’t hesitate, lining the head of his cock against your entrance before pushing into you with such ease. You take him so well, your body desperate to be filled by him that it offers no resistance at all. A groan tears from his throat like someone had punched him straight in the gut, wheezing slightly when he feels the head of his dick bitch against your cervix.

It should hurt, and it does, but stars, it feels so good, too. Your back is arching against the cool durasteel, tears welling in your eyes as he rolls his hips impossibly deeper. The coarse hair on his pubic bone grinds just right against your clit, and your walls clamp around his cock while you whine out his name.

“I know, Baby Girl, I know,” he breathes, his hips starting a languid, steady pace that has you digging your fingernails into the pauldrons on his shoulders. It stretches you out just right, your hips raising to meet each thrust as you sigh out his name in what could only be described as some kind of prayer.

“MmmMando,” you moan, head tilting back until your crown hits the wall behind you. Eyes cast to the heavens, they tear up as tendrils of pleasure work their way up your spine, Mando’s hips already working you towards bliss in a way only he could.

“Close your eyes, Pretty Baby,” you hear him groan, his voice gravelly. You do so without question, eyelids heavy already with the intensity of the pleasure building between your thighs.

There’s a shift, a mumble of ‘keep ‘em closed’ that sounds too loud to be him, and then his lips are on your neck. Nando’s lips are on your neck, kissing and sucking at your skin as he ruts into you at a blinding pace.

“Ohmy- Mando-“ you choke out, tears streaming down your cheeks at the overwhelming rush of adrenaline, of emotions. The coarse hair of a trimmed beard you didn’t know he had bristles your skin, and he whispers a moan against the junction of your shoulder.

“Fuck, Baby,” he chokes out, his hand gripping at the flesh just beneath the curve of your ass where he holds you up. “So fucking wet, so tight for me, Baby. That’s it, I know, I know, I can feel it-“

You’re arching into him, moaning louder. The sound of your keens bounces off the walls of the hanger, ricocheting back into your ears as you feel your orgasm work its claws into your abdomen.

“I’ve got you,” Mando soothes you, even with the strain in his voice, “I’ve got you, m’here.”

It sends you dropping through space, plummeting past the stars and the planets as he hits something vital inside you. You’re cumming, bliss spilling through your body and momentarily blinding you as everything blurs before your eyes. It roils through you, tears you apart at the seams like you’ve been stretched and ripped open in the best way.

You must be screaming, must be wailing and sobbing his name, because Mando is offering you a chorus of ‘I know I know I know’. You’re so tight around him, gushing on his cock and his hips stutter, spitting out your name against the column of your throat in a voice that’s unmodulated and crystal clear as he cums, filling you up when he spills inside of you.

You’re both panting heavily, legs like jelly and bodies buzzing with a burning afterglow that could compete with the twin suns of Tatooine.

“M-Must have made a mess,” you whimper, voice cracking. Your eyes stay firmly shut, even when you hear him chuckle and feel him press a kiss to your jaw.

“That’s what a shower is for, isn’t it?”

You share the shower, share a cot in your moments of frustration on this tin can in hyperspace. Mando takes his helmet off for you, kissing and whispering utter bantha-shite while he smoothes your discomfort… Maybe it is a marriage proposal, after all.

#꒰꒰ ‧₊˚📁 ─ my works ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #꒰ ‧₊˚ din 🥫 ˚₊· ꒱ #꒰꒰ ‧₊˚ 1k+ notes club ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #din djarin #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin one shot #din djarin x reader #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x y/n #din djarin smut #din djarin imagine #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x y/n #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian oneshot #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian drabble #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal smut #star wars smut #star wars #star wars fanfiction #જ⁀➴ mail: received

[steadymongerbatscissors]

Leo Valdez And His Mistreatment

Recently I have taken some time to go back to some books and reread them for the hell of it. One of these books being the Heroes of Olympus series. Now the Heroes of Olympus series has been my favorites series overall yeah I know people think its worse than the others but I just honestly prefer the multiple point of views. Of course some characters could do with some fleshing out like Jason,Piper,Frank,and Hazel. My personal favorite of all the characters was Leo Valdez mostly because I though his fire powers were cool and he was a surprisingly deep character compared to fellow new characters.

But while reading I noticed multiple facets of his character that I felt did not need to be added or needed to be expanded on and this post I will tell you them all.

His Powers

I’m starting with his powers because that was the main thing that drew me in and in my believe sort of made Leo the person he was in the books. I mean without his fire powers he wouldn’t have accidentally killed his mother therefore never being an orphan and meeting Jason and Piper. This all say nothing about his frayed mental state.

So there pretty important but while also being important they are pretty inconsistent.

What I mean is that when Leo first uses his powers he had been purposefully not using them since he was 8 years old. This gives off the impression that has major control over his fire powers to supremes them for so long. Yet when they are on the bridge to the Wind God’s palace in the sky he suddenly loses control even though he realistically should have not done that since he had already shown he has major control over his power and wouldn’t suddenly lose control just cause he got excited.

Another problem his powers have is that they are supposedly super dangerous yet the only thing he does is throw a couple fireballs towards monsters and that’s it. Well except for when he somehow learns to nuke Gaea with his fire powers.

Wait what?

He learns to nuke somebody!

You see how his powers are super inconsistent. Like how do we go from fireballs to fire nuking a primordial goddess.

This problem seems to only exist for Leo since we get see Hazel get over her tragedy and control her powers to a far more powerful degree,Piper gets to hone her charm-speak so when she makes Gaea go to sleep it makes sense,and finally Frank multiple times throughout the series get to show off his shape shifting and how strong it is. So why does Leo never get this treatment cause we never see him actually hone his power and develop new ability’s from it.

Like your telling me the guy whose dad is the god of fire never once threw Greek fire out of his hands even though he is supposed to be the special fire guy.

His Appearance

Allow me to read you this passage describing how Leo looks.

“Leo looked like a Latino Santa’s elf, with curly black hair, pointy ears, a cheerful, babyish face, and a mischievous smile that told you right away this guy should not be trusted around matches or sharp objects. His long, nimble fingers wouldn’t stop moving—drumming on the seat, sweeping his hair behind his ears, fiddling with the buttons of his army fatigue jacket. Either the kid was naturally hyper or he was hopped up on enough sugar and caffeine to give a heart attack to a water buffalo”

To put the description simply he is described as ugly and extremely hyperactive.

I don’t understand why Rick wrote him that way because why does the outsider of the seven have to be the ugly and can’t sit still.

It’s not like any of the other characters are described as ugly unless their Frank before Mars blessing. Rick has Hazel literally think that Percy is a Greek God. Piper is the daughter of the goddess of love. Annabeth is described as a princess implying prettiness. Hell it’s not even kept to just the seven, Will Solace (the character with no personality trait aside from being a doctor and loving Nico) is described as being hot by Nico.

So like why does it seem that Leo Valdez is the only character described as ugly and hyperactive. Hell it doesn’t even make sense that Leo doesn’t have a little muscle considering he’s a mechanic and mechanics have to lift heavy shit all the time like realistically Leo would have a decent amount of muscle.

Note:Expanding on his hyper-activeness, we know that demigods ADHD helps them react to monster attack better and Annabeth describes Leo as extremely ADHD so wouldn’t that just mean that Leo would have like spider-sense and dodge extremely well.

His Character Connections

Why does everybody seem to hate Leo or at the very least try to avoid speaking with him. Like for real half way through the series Jason,and Piper completely stop hanging out with him. The only interaction they have after the Lost Hero is them going to Asclepius to make the Physician’s Cure.

Rick tried to have Hazel and Leo be friends because she knew his Grandfather or something but that is so flimsy. Frank hates Leo from the jump even though he started the beef by asking Leo if he was Sammy and getting mad every time Leo looked at Hazel. Yet there the ones he confides his whole plan to beat Gaea.

Percy is yet another person who doesn’t like Leo even though they are the basically the same person in different fonts. Annabeth seems to dislike having Leo aboard the Argo with the rest of the seven because she has no problem making fun of Leo in her mind by mocking him cause of his ADHD but then again that’s a bigger problem with Annabeth’s character than their relationship.

The only thing that seems to like having Leo around is Festus the dragon who Leo rebuilt after accidentally destroying him in their first quest.

I don’t care what you say just because Calypso insults Leo a little. It doesn’t mean that she hates him because she actually care like she really fucking cares.

So to recap Leo only has two people that genuinely like being around him and seven friends who put up with him and don’t really want him around.

Compares this to the main character of the last prophecy I.E Percy. Everybody likes Percy even people who realistically shouldn’t like him like him. Like your Reyna the girl who lost a home and was put on a pirate ship thanks to Percy had a crush on him just because he was a decent fighter. Yes right I call bullcrap.

Small Problem

Leo Valdez is a character who throughout the series has a lot of problems in his character. One problem is his treatment towards or more accurately why does Rick write Leo to be incredibly disrespectful even though he himself acknowledges how it was for his mom to get a good job just cause she is a women. One scene that I think emphasizes this problem is when the trio of the Lost Hero book meets the Hunters of Artemis. Now your expecting that since Leo himself saw how hard it was for mother just cause she was women would be extremely respectful towards the Hunters especially Jason’s sister Thalia. But nope he goes right up to Thalia and just says she’s hot to her face like come on Rick your contradicting yourself. Then in Trials of Apollo Rick has Reyna teach Leo about respecting women no like come on Leo since childhood should have know to respect women. I know you might be saying that’s just the persona he uses around people but like that doesn’t change the fact he should have already knew not to do that thanks to his mother.

Conclusion

In conclusion Leo Valdez is a character who could have been treated far better by the story,author,and the people inside the story. He is a wonderful character who in universe only has two people that genuinely want him around and deserved to have his powers explored more than just fireball. But sadly he is riddled with holes that shouldn’t be there if you actually look at his character.

#leo valdez #jason grace #piper mclean #reyna avila ramirez arellano #percy jackson #annabeth chase #frank zhang #hazel levesque #thalia grace #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #rick riordan #long post #like fr Leo should have had insane fire power to really drive home how dangerous he is #like bro could actually murder somebody #caleo #pro caleo #calypso #trials of apollo #reyna ramirez arellano

[simp4thedemonbros]

Playing Mario Kart with the brothers

Hey gang! It’s been a while huh.. A lot of stuff has happened in the past year and I was burnt out with life in general, lmao but here I am, trying my best.

This is short and stupid tbh, but I just wanted something to help me get back into writing about my fav boys, I hope you enjoy :)

I love you all v much 

_____

masterlist

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Pairing: Brothers x gn!MC

Word Count: 1061

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Lucifer

Mains as Bowser (he's tryna be so big and scary smh)

Surprisingly good

You expected him to be like a 90 year old that has never seen technology in his life, but he knows all the controls AND starts picking up on how to drift

I'm not saying he can beat you but he's usually coming in a steady 3rd place when you race.

Even sometimes comes in 1st if you're having a bad round. ("WHY IS THE GUY IN 10TH PLACE THROWING BLUE SHELLS HOWS THAT GONNA HELP HIM AT ALL?!") (......guys am i ok??????)

Enjoys it a lot more than you thought he would

It started out as him finally giving in to you asking him to play but over time he finds himself asking if you want to play.

It's a fun way for him to wind down

Enjoys seeing you get competitive, and loves seeing you blush when he compliments your skills out loud.

Mammon

Mains as Wario (I can not justify this I just think it’s funny)

Is pretty much on par with your skills

You're both constantly overtaking each other in and out of 1st place

You are both ABSOLUTELY jumping on top of each other, trying to block the other from seeing the screen. (THE SQUID IS NOT ENOUGH!)

"Hey knock it off would ya the Great Mammon is kicking your ass fair and square"

Immediately does the same to you the second you're in 1st for more than 5 seconds.

You're both on a mission to ruin the CPUs life the moment it overtakes you both while you're arguing.

You spend loads of time watching the highlight reel because something stupid happened and you both think it's the funniest thing ever.

You pretend to hate each other during the game but immediately return to being super close and cuddly after the game is over.

He absolutely makes bets with you - "MC if I win this you have to do WHATEVER I say for the whole night!"

Leviathan

Mains as Yoshi (idk why I just think it fits him) or Link ("bc he’s so cool" (so true bestie))

A monster

Impossibly good (He's had years of racing game practice so idk what you expect) but BOY does it suck to think you're good at a game and then have someone prove to you you're just average at it.

It's good to see him have so much fun though, and trying to cause blue shell chaos from way back in the CPU pack is pretty fun.

He’s definitely helping you to also get impossibly good at the game, you're already able to beat everyone but him when you start picking up on some of his skills.

He knows every shortcut.

Idk bro I just think some cheating is in order. Maybe congratulate his win by kissing his cheek and watching him stutter and fumble through the next round.

Satan

Mains as Dry Bowser (tryna be better n cooler than Lucifer oops)

I'm not gonna lie to you, his wrathful side will 100% come out when you start kicking his ass.

Is the death glare you're receiving right now worth the victory?? YES, ABSOLUTELY

This is what the game is about BAYBEE

Maybe you give him a few wins so he doesn’t kill you though, you'd never tell him you LET him though.

Games aren't really his thing but once he gets the swing of things and you give him the few wins he finds it much easier and starts to enjoy himself a bit more, and definitely chills out on the death glare.. especially when you're kind enough to not only celebrate your own wins but his as well.

After playing definitely apologises if he made you uncomfortable or upset and absolutely lets you do whatever you want.

Want him to read his favourite book for you?? Cool. Get you some tea?? He's on it. Give you some kisses?? He might need to get over the sudden boldness but he'll happily oblige.

Asmodeus

Mains as Princess Peach (the pink gold one tho yk) or a mii as himself.

Listen not to conform to the "pretty boys don't play video games" stereotype but he probably doesn't care all that much about the game.

Mostly wants to play to see you smiling and laughing as you have fun. That's when you're the most attractive after all.

Surprisingly likes rainbow road. (Sadistic idk what to tell you..) but also it is a pretty track, and he enjoys the colours.

Honestly he likes any tracks with bright colours and nice/fun music.

He's not that competitive, he went into the game knowing he wasn't going to be that good at it so he's just there to give you company.

After all the fun of it all he definitely asks if you want to come into his bathroom to unwind with him and relax.

Beelzebub

Mains as Donkey Kong

You're absolutely sitting in front of him in between his legs while he has his arms around you with his own controller.

There are so many snacks.

You're both pretty average at the game so it's honestly more like both of you trying to be as problematic to whoever is in 1st place as possible.

And having fun doing it.

He's always loved doing chill nights like this so having you to enjoy them with just makes them even better.

Will celebrate any and every victory by kissing your forehead and then offering you a snack while he begins eating his own, ignoring how flustered you might be.

Will apologise if he hits you with a blue shell even when you tell him "It’s part of the game Beel, don't worry"

Belphegor

Mains as Waluigi (Me, personally… as a Waluigi main I wouldn't let that slide)

Chaotic

Will cause problems on purpose.

If he ever overtakes you/hits you with an item/comes in first and you complain he will say something along the lines of "then get good" or "skill issue"

His behaviour makes you SUPER competitive but also makes playing the game with him super fun because of it.

It's also super fun to hit him with items and then overtake him last minute when he thinks he's going to win.

You probably don't play for that long and end up cuddling up for a nap together instead.

#obey me! #obey me #obey me nb #obey me brothers #obey me shall we date #obey me brothers x MC #obey me lucifer #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me mammon #obey me mammon.x mc #obey me leviathan #obey me leviathan x mc #obey me levi #obey me levi x mc #obey me satan #obey me satan xmc #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me asmo #obey me asmo x mc #obey me beelzebub #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me beel #obey me beel x mc #obey me belphegor #obey me belphegor x mc #obey me belphie #obey me belphie x mc #obey me mc #obey me gn!mc

[hullomoon]

hullomoon's 2023 works: part five

it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for a work round-up! i had a pretty busy year so i didn't post as much, but i also know i did more longer works. so it probably balances out in the end. if you haven’t yet, check out my 2019 roundup, 2020 roundup, 2021 roundup, and 2022 roundup! all works are ordered in chronological posting order.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six

Tea-rrific Advice | Stranger Things | multivoice | Gen | 09:49

Sometimes the residents of Hawkins need some advice. Who better to ask than everyone’s favorite anonymous advice columnist, Thirsty V. What could go wrong? This is a Vecna crack fic with some dark jokes. I’m sorry, but Vecna is not. Okay, I’m not either. That’s the tea. Bonus this CRACK fic is also a podfic.

[Filk] (Voiceteam) Over the Rainbow | Fandom | multivoice | 02:30

approx. 32 takes in 27 tracks. 14 participants. 9 teams. 3 voices. One rainbow for One Voiceteam! The Voiceteam Rainbow Choir proudly presents: "(Voiceteam) Over the Rainbow" - a multiphonic filk sung to the tune of "Over the Rainbow"!

[podfic] Can you make me a lasagna, David? | Schitt's Creek | David/Patrick | 0:18:51

David has some fresh ricotta and is feeling a little brave. He remembers a request his husband once made while high on anesthetic.

[podfic] mister funny, mister cool | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 0:2:47:49

He swallows. Sweat trickles along his spine. He knows what he was thinking, what he’s still thinking. The itch of being talked about still irritates him. But—but that’s also not new. He used to be King of Hawkins High—people talked about him all the way up that track and all the way down and with a lot less kindness in their hearts. Even with them, it shouldn’t weigh this heavy because if they want to think he’s crazy that’s fine. Right? It should be fine, because Steve knows who he is. The guy with stupid jokes and free rides. The guy who comes back, who keeps them safe, who’s fine. Steve should be able to shrug this off. God, he’s so stupid. Mister Funny, Mister Cool is always fine. or Steve Harrington's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad emotional breakdown.

do you have a minute? | Stranger Things | Steve & Hopper | 1.1k

After Spring Break, Steve struggles. A conversation with Hopper is a good start.

soup, there it is! | Schitt's Creek | Patrick/David | 1.3k

David thinks soulmates are overrated and then he gets soup spilled on him

sealed with a kiss | Schitt's Creek | Patrick/David | 276

Patrick is leaving for a conference and David has some concerns

[podfic] good for my boy | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie, Steve & Wayne, Eddie & Wayne | 0:44:37

Wayne lets the front door swing shut behind him, rattling and smacking into the frame audibly. “Jesus, Munson!” A voice rings out — the freezer fiend’s, and definitely not Eddie’s. “Took you god damn long enough!” The head finally pops out of the freezer. “I got tired of waiting and — oh.” The stranger’s hand slips from the handle and the freezer door thumps shut. As does the stranger’s mouth when he looks right into the face of, not Eddie Munson as expected, but Wayne Munson. Wayne briefly recognizes him as the Harrington boy. or, the first time Wayne Munson meets Steve Harrington is a complete accident.

[podfic] getting used to letting go | Check, Please! | Nursey/Dex | 04:04:01

Dex was supposed to have a fancy job in some city upon graduation, but his plans changed once his uncle died and left the family home in Maine to him. Without immediate obligations of their own, Nursey, Chowder and Farmer follow Dex up there to help him clear it out and clean it up.

[podfic] can't hide the way you make us glow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie, Steve & Wayne, Eddie & Wayne | 0:38:27

“So,” Wayne finally says and looks between them. He gestures his can from Steve to Eddie and back. “Still just friends, huh?” He deadpans.

Steve chokes on his sip of beer, and a grin cracks across Eddie’s face. “To the general public of Hawkins, sure,” Eddie responds smoothly, hand absentmindedly rubbing Steve’s back as he recovers. Wayne narrows his eyes at him. “I ain’t the general public of Hawkins, now, am I?” Eddie shakes his head. “No, I suppose not.” When he doesn’t elaborate any further, Wayne lifts his eyebrows expectantly. Out with it, boy they say. He barely refrains from waving his hand in a go on then motion. “Steve and I… we’re, uh,” Eddie’s smile turns soft around the edges, and his hand goes to Steve’s beside him, drawing it into his lap and lacing their fingers together, “we’re going steady now.” Or, Wayne finds out that Eddie and Steve are EddieandSteve.

#hullomoon podfics #hullomoon writes #stranger things #schitts creek #check please #steddie #nurseydex #david rose x patrick brewer #wayne munson #jim hopper

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hi! It’s been a while since I last asked & I loved your matchups for me! I was wondering if I could get a HSR, Genshin, & Mystic Messenger match-up? Thank you! I hope your day is well. ♥️

Rion, they/them, demiromantic nonbinary, omni aroace-spec. ENTP 1w2. Virgo. I have a red shaggy mullet that’s often in a sloppy ponytail. I’m midsized at 156cm / 5’1ft. I have freckles & cool-coloured hazel eyes. I have a lot of scars everywhere, some self inflicted, some random nicks, some from accidents as a kid.

I’m rather quiet unless with friends, which then I can get pretty loud & energetic. I have a somewhat intimidating resting face and can come across as apathetic. I laugh like a hyena witch. I’m very open-minded and try to be accepting of everyone & everything as long as they’re not intentionally hurting anyone. I’m incredibly stubborn which can cause me to isolate. I fear being a bother/nuisance to those around me.

My humour is dry & sarcastic, and sometimes a little too dark. I’d do anything for those close to me, but I’m also not one to hold my tongue when someone’s upset me. I struggle with affection, whether giving or receiving. I used to be pretty awful when I was younger and I ended up hurting a lot of people. I’ve come a long way from there now.

I enjoy dancing, writing, photography, and drawing/painting. My favourite animal is a snake though I feel most represented by owls. My favourite colour is gold. I love chicken lo mein. I enjoy psychological horror, criminology, lore heavy medias, and genetics. I struggle with sensory issues & emotional empathy.

Hi Rion! I'm so glad you liked your last matchup. Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

March matches your energy well. She’s naturally more outgoing than you but she has her quiet moments as well.

She’s a very affectionate person but appreciates that you struggle with that. She’ll take it slow and get you used to small displays of affection before gradually increasing it.

March loves it when you laugh! It’s her life goal to make you laugh at least once every day. She finds your laugh very contagious as well, so once you start laughing, expect March to join in soon after.

Please be open with her about your worries regarding being a bother. March never finds you annoying so she’ll do her best to comfort you and reassure you that you aren’t a bother.

Really good at helping you with your sensory issues. She remembers everything that triggers them and will do her best to help you avoid those things.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Kaeya’s another one who is good at helping you with your sensory issues. He doesn’t really struggle with that (have you seen all the different sensations that his outfit would produce) but he’s surprisingly empathetic.

He’s appreciative of your honesty. Kaeya struggles with honesty so just be patient with him. He wants to be open with you, it just might take him a while.

If you’re okay with it, Kaeya enjoys running his fingers over your scars. He finds it soothing and it’s his way of saying he’s glad you’re here with him and that he’s there for you.

I see Kaeya as someone who appreciates photography. He’s really good at posing casually so if you want to take photos of him, just let him know.

The only time you will hear Kaeya genuinely laugh is when he hears you laugh. Usually, he gives a chuckle or a sarcastic laugh but when you’re alone and he hears you laughing, an honest laugh will burst through.

In Mystic Messenger, I match you with...

Photography buddies! V absolutely loves that he gets to share his main hobby with you.

His favourite dates are the ones where you both take your respective methods of taking photographs with you and compare your photos when you get home.

He’s a very creatively minded person so expect him to give you little pieces of artwork that he’s worked on. These vary from candid photos of you, to gold necklaces in the shape of owls and snakes, to little sketches.

You can see the love and attention that has gone into every gift he gives you. If you return the favour, you can be sure V is putting your gift somewhere where he can appreciate it every day.

V will help you with your emotional empathy. He’s got a lot of trauma so he struggles with empathy sometimes, he’s just good at hiding it. You can work on it together.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #honkai star rail #march 7th #genshin impact #kaeya #mystic messenger #v #jihyun kim

[chronic-boogara]

Hello one of the most talented writers on this platform I’m here for a match up. I’d prefer a male slasher but women are ok too.

I’m an Infp, an aries and I have autism so that’s part of what’s wrong with me. I have a few dream careers. I would love to be an author or sfx artist. I mainly write poetry and horror stories outside of fan fiction. I also crochet. I’m still learning but I’ve made some cool stuff. I know how to hand sew and hopefully I will learn how to use this old sewing machine from my grandma without breaking it like I always somehow end up doing.

My main love languages are physical touch and gift giving but those are like 2% higher than the others so I’m pretty even. I’m really into slasher and horror movies, my favorite being Texas chainsaw massacre one or two. I can write essays about horror movies honestly. I know a decent amount of fashion history from the 1920’s to the 1990’s, very specific I know but it was my special interest for awhile.

My favorite artists are Strawberry switchblade and Melanie Martinez. I also listen to David Bowie, Siouxie and the Banshees, Hole, and Switchblade Symphony. I want to collect cds and vinyls and cassettes if I had a player for them.

I love dressing in a 70’s/80’s masculine style with occasionally being more feminine. I have a like grown out mullet hairstyle I’m trying to continue to grow out. My hair is dark brown and curly. Sometimes I tease it to be more like an 80’s hairstyle and choke on hairspray every time. I’m like 5’4 (short king) and I have my ears double pierced and my nostril pierced too. I don’t really plan on getting more but you never really know.

My favorite season is fall and I love Halloween. I also wanna collect vintage Halloween type shit (I know I want to collect a lot of stuff it’s the pigeon who likes shiny things in me) I’m decent at carving pumpkins and I love those foggy fall morning more than I love life itself.

I hope this is enough or not too much. I trust you’ll give me the best match up you can <3

𝐢 𝗺𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡- 𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐚 𝐬𝐚𝐰𝐲𝐞𝐫➳♡

♡your perfect match is the infamous bubba sawyer. he’s just a big bundle of love and he’s so excited to give it to you. he’s honest, kind and extremely romantic (when he wants to be)

♡wowow you’re just so interesting y/n! please tell him everything about your interests. every story you write he wants to read. he doesn’t care what you think about it. he knows he’s going to love it. teach him how to read while you’re at it<3 he’ll want to write about you once he learns how to properly do so.

♡he is so infatuated with you so please tell him every single dream/goal you have. he may have no idea what sfx is but he is more than happy to listen to you explain it to him. he’ll do his best not to forget

♡bubba is v curious about your style. you’re always so handsome in his eyes. he doesn’t much like the hairspray though it makes him sneeze. he will try to style his hair like yours :). teach the baby boy how to style his hair and wash it and he’s golden.

♡he loves your height!! he doesn’t mind you being shorter than him. he would love to pick you up and spin you around. it’s also nice having a smaller person around the house to help reach under small places and lure in victims.

♡bubba owns a cassette player but has no tapes :(so if you have any he wants to listen to them with you. oh and don’t worry about him not liking your music. he is not picky in the least bit. all music is beautiful to his ears especially if he knows you like it

♡in all honestly bubba is indifferent to your autism. (he’s on the spectrum as well but isn’t really aware) he doesn’t see any reason to not love you because of it.

♡you like to sew!? oh my gosh so does HE! the amount of joy that fills his heart when he finds out that you have a similar interest is immeasurable. sewing is his outlet. he will want to show you everything he can do. and if you want he can show you how to make your own mask! you’re a fashion expert so teach him about clothes and what’s popular. he’d love to be up with the times. matching outfits y/n?

♡he shows his love through hugs and kisses and just lots of lots of touching so it’s a good thing you’re into it. he’s always hands with you but never in an inappropriate way more like a doting lover kind of way. and don’t even get him started on gifts. he loves giving you gifts. he isn’t too good with words so the less speaking that goes on the better. he knows a little sign language so he’ll say i love you that way as well.

♡horror movies scare bubba a lot (how ironic) so you’ll have to make things less scary for him when you talk about them. it’s not his first choice for movie night but as long as you promise to hold him tight during the extra scary scenes he will agree.

♡he wants you to be comfortable around his family as much as possible but they embarrass him constantly. calling you his sweet little boyfriend and other corny things like that. bubba wants them to appreciate and love you like he does. aside from the nagging from drayton and the light teasing from chop-top and nubbins you four get along great. and don’t worry about eating the “special meat” they also have a farm with other animals though they’re usually pretty scarce as well as vegetarian options. bubba would never make you eat it if you didn’t want to.

♡bubba has never been on a date so his blueprint for such things come from movies. most of your dates will be walks to the flower fields or little fancy dinners he sets up himself. he tries his best to make you comfortable.

♡bubba does his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you. you’re his special someone and no one will take that away from him <3

#sorry this one took a bit longer #yours was long #i loved it!! #you’re such a cool dude bro like #all ur interests are super valid #and you’re smart #like wow #i hope this is coherent #i had so many ideas #i was gonna do mikey at first i will not lie #if u became an author #i’d read everything #you’re so INTERESTING #slasher x reader #bubba sawyer x you #bubba sawyer #leatherface x reader #leatherface #texas chainsaw massacre #my fave movie #esha does matchups #slasher matchups #horror matchups #esha writes

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

Hi goose !! for the ask game, daffodil, orchid (I need to discover new songs & music so I'm taking the opportunity) and camellia ! I hope you are doing well <3

Hi Clus! I’m doing amazing! Hope you’re doing well too! I was wondering if I should leave your ask for the last or began with it, because it’s going to be the longest one (because I’ll give my reasoning as to why I think chosen songs are perfect), but here we go, it’s the first to be answered haha

orchid ⇢ what’s a song you consider to be perfect?

I’ll actually give you two songs: one to discover new music and one that’s crazy and I love it for that.

So the first one is 24h by Seventeen. It’s a j-pop song by a k-pop group and it’s magical. I’m not sure if anti-drop is the official name for the technique they used, but it seems like it and everyone is calling it that so I might as well do as well. The thing with anti-drop is that (as the name suggests) instead of building up the instrumental until the beat drop in chorus and following it with an explosion of instruments, it does the build-up BUT it drops to a minimalistic instrumental that takes you by a surprise since you’re expecting a typical drop. If you like bass guitar in the background it’s perfect. It’s like my favourite thing in music and it’s quite popular in k-pop (it’s popular in house music and A LOT of k-pop is house music or takes a lot of inspiration from the genre like this song for example). And here it hits extra hard. I’m not entirely sure why that is and I only learnt that this is a wider phenomena thanks to 2ndgenbias on youtube, but it sounds really good anyway haha I also love that it highlights Minghao’s voice in the chorus, it sounds really nice after Wonwoo’s and he needs more time to shine (but of course it’s hard to do so when the group has 13 members).

Now onto the second song, it’s Kill V. Main by Grimes. And her personal stuff aside, she’s a spectacular artist. She has full control over her albums both in writing and production which is really cool and I periodically get absolutely obsessed with her music to the point where nothing else gives me half the serotonin it does. To put it shortly, she does pop but like synth-pop, electropop (my 2 favourite genres), dream-pop with like dark elements or whatever she feels like (Grimes, I’m begging you give us that new project already, pretty please).

And the song I chose is from an album in which she decided to use guitars after working with nearly only synthesizers for the previous projects and wanted to prove that she can write an aggresive song, and that’s how Kill V. Main came to be. To kinda put it apart, the instrumental is fantastic. It’s fast paced, has this guitar theme with drums in the background that have these cool efects mixed in between them like laser sounds, an old shooting game, a sound of an empty tube that you can bonk someone with on the head (you know what I mean haha), record scratches, a literal crowd of people cheering and clapping that you won’t even notice unless you listen to a clear instrumental version. And whatever this sound in the second verse is (like 1:32 – 1:35), it sounds so good. As much as I adore anti-drops, this whole song is absolutely stunning. I love when songs have such a good instrumental that I listen to it seprately after listening to the song, because both sound so good. And in the end there’s this beautiful synthesizer that was there at the beginning so it’s kinda like going back to the beginning. I wish I could just listen to her talking about the production process for this track, because it’s everything.

Now time for me to switch to talking about the lyrics, because the storyline behind this song is so weird. It’s about Al Pacino who’s a vampire (I mean you should’ve expected me to mention vampires at least once, c’mon) and travels through like space or something. I haven’t seen The Godfather therefore I can’t really say anything about the plot of these movies but I’m sure they’re not like this haha And the lyrics of this song are so cool. I love how Grimes’ voice goes from regular to a scream at this like WAAAAR to high pitched and back to regular Especially that last WAAAAR is really cute, kinda blends with the instrumental. I also love how she managed to have this cheerleader-like chant about mafia wars or somthing:

B-E-H-A-V-E

Arrest us

Italiana mobster

Looking so precious

B-E-H-A-V-E

Never more

You gave up being good when you declared a state of war

Like wow, I love this twist and how aggresively she gets in the end and how this aggresiveness continues at the beginning of the chorus.Yes please, give me more of that haha I once (or at least once) said that this song would kinda fit DOA and while I do think it would be fun to write a fic based on this song and have 5 chapters with each member having their own pov with like war, fights and overall gore and all that stuff, I’m not doing that. At least for now. But really, the lyric You gave up being good when you declared a state of war is Fukuchi-esque.

And to kind of sum it up, I simply love using this song as my hype song. Grimes has stated before that she imagines this track as something that plays during a fight scene and I totally agree with that and add from myself that it also works wonders as a track to play in the background when walking somewhere… anywhere really. Such a nice main character moment. So yeah as you see I could talk about her and her music for a long long time, but I’m nearing 1k words and I still have the two more parts of this ask to answer, so let’s leave it at that haha

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

Well if you count my dog as my sibling (which my parents and I do), then we’re both constantly tired, hate going on walks and are picky-eaters. But she loves to spend all her time surrounded by people and has to say hi to everyone she sees, and I enjoy my alone time and don’t like talking with strangers that much. Only when I have to because they stop to pet her haha

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

I actually had to be taken from one kindegarten to another, because kindergarten teachers thought I was too loud and weird to be allowed to play with other kids and that I was giving them a bad example, so I had to play alone or something (I don’t remember these times of course). If I was told to sit and listen to someone talk and didn’t have anything to do, I’d search for an alternative things to do and they didn’t like that. But when I was put in that other kindergarten I was encouraged to participate in plays and play with other kids and suddenly it turned out that yeah I was weird and too loud, but there were kids who were also weird and loud and felt comfortable expressing that around me. And till this day if I’m told to just sit and listen while making some notes, I’ll forget where I am after 5 minutes, but if I’m given something to work on then it’s all fine. And yeah I’m still an increadibly loud person who either becomes disruptive or falls asleep when bored, so I don’t think this part of my personality changed much. I just learnt to pay attentions whether people around me feel comfy with me being loud or they’d rather I stayed silent, and act accordingly skdhsjsvs

#that's how things usually end when someone asks me about music haha #I was like maybe I'll answer all asks in one post and then I started answering this one and I was like nope I'm not putting people #through this much scrolling #so in the end all will be answered separately #asks

[sungbeam]

HEYYYYYYY

To start off, phew, that pintrest post had me going DELULUUUUUUUU like jeez miss Molly Burford you def had some INSANE ideas/pos cause I read that whole thing like it was a small Changmin fic in and of itself and it just goes to show how strong literature can really be and how much emotion you can convey with just the smallest bit of writing like- *sobs*

AND YEAH RIP YOU WERE RIGHT QUANTUMANIA SUCKED LOWKEY 😭

Onto watch Hawkeye tho 😼🤭

AND YASSSSS I GOT INTO TBZ PRETTY RECENTLY (roar era 💀) BUT THE CONCEPT FOR MAVERICK WAS EVERYTHING TO ME I SWEAR LIKE I WAS GENUINELY LIKE, JAWDROP, WHEN I SAW THE TRAILER LIKE THE MUSIC, THE CUTS, CHANGMIN’S ENDING SCENE PHEW LIKE OUR MEN CAN A C T

I still go back to just watch the teaser cause it’s genuinely so cool to me and I just wished they did more with the concept cause it was such an interesting storyline BUT THE BE AWAKE/BE AWARE STORYLINE WAS ALSO PRETTY INTERESTING AND I CAN DO A FULL DISSERTATION ON IT I SWEAR LIKE, IN THIS ESSAY I WILL- 🤓☝️

But yeah I basically just started with tbz yet I somehow managed to get almost all the maverick album photocards so lowkey proud of myself, thanks mercari 🤭

And yeah with GOTG3 Floor was actually a bunny rabbit 😭 the way she moved like a spider freaked me TF out tho 💀 but yesss they were so cute and it just felt bad seeing them cause being experimented on was basically all that they knew and they were so happy to escape but then… yeah 😭

And LORDDDDD right when they were escaping and Floor started freaking tf out and kept repeating the same sentence was when I started sobbing RFYUTFJBJ FELT A LIL GOOFY DOING IT IN THE THEATRE BUT OH WELL

AND YES (omfg take a shot every time I say ‘and’ 💀) YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABT YOUR WRITING STYLE like I thought it was only me that thought your writing is almost cinematic?? Not bc of the scene or act titles or anything tho like I can’t really pinpoint how it feels cinematic but it does and I’m SO obsessed with it cause I usually imagine fics to play out as if I’m watching a movie [it’s smth I do with books too like I’ve always just had an insane imagination that I’m v v proud of (like thank you brain for giving me smth useful for once 🙄☝️/j)]

But yeah (take a shot every time I say ‘yeah’ 💀) your writing style just makes it way more easier for me to digest bc of my overactive imagination HEBUHDBRH

YAS I DO LOVE TXT AND BEOMGYU IS MY BIAS HEHEHE 🤭 Tae and Kai have been wrecking me fr tho PHEW but AHHH a lot of superhero aus typically don’t have the reader as a superhero so that’ll be super refreshing to see! :o

KEEP THE SUPERHERO AUS COMING THO CAUSE I *DO* LIVE FOR THEM unfortunately I haven’t seen moon knight, ms marvel, OR shangchi BUT THEY WILL BE ADDED TO THE LIST TRUST and phew superhero Kev with his white hair ARGH MAIN CHARACTER FR 😵‍💫

OH NAURRR THE CHANGMIN FIC TOO GOSH SOMEONE TAKE CHANGMIN AWAY FROM YOU CAUSE YOU *WILL* END UP DESTROYING MY HEART(/jk jk) but I can see it right now not even gonna lie like I’m kind of envisioning the almost nostalgic vibe of a late 90s-early 00’s anime (idk if the link will work cause I’m on mobile but kind of like this scene from Mysterious Girlfriend X https://images.app.goo.gl/Huz8NDfpAajF7iC37) like I always get that warm nostalgic vibe WHENIGND SORRY IF THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABT AT A L L 💀

Also, confession time, I was also a CHRONIC ghost reader that would just like (mostly cause I didn’t know that reblogs actually mattered as much as likes-) but I have seen so so many amazing blogs disappear or go inactive due to the lack of reblogs, likes, feedback, or basically ANY interaction :( I’ve changed my ways now even though I’m still not sure if I’m doing my reblogs properly but I guess I didn’t realize how much feedback or reblogs actually matter to people until I saw how my OWN motivation improved when I receive feedback or praise. Especially when I’m struggling with my mental health, someone telling me that I did something right makes me feel SOOOOO much happier than a singular like does. So now I prefer sending anon asks to authors just so I can communicate how much I appreciate their work cause honestly if I was a writer then I’d love to hear what people would have to say abt my fics, no matter if the feedback is negative (as long as it’s constructive and not mean-) or positive, it’s still better than nothing. So I completely get you bro and I genuinely hope that more people come to the same realization that I did 😭🫶 like I promise guys, a little feedback goes a long way and helps more than you think it can!

- Love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow, 🌷 anon

🌷 I LITERALLY SCREECHED AND GIGGLED ALOUD WHEN I SAW UR MESSAGE AKFNSJDJ HI BFFIE 🥰🥰🥰

plsss IKR kdnskdnkd ykw that's just what these men do to me 😔😌 make me so utterly irrevocably irredeemably delusional 🤩🤸‍♀️ i too JUST got into the boyz so ur not alone haha :')) i go into them just a couple months before roar era !! so like the standstill in btwn but yeah, the be awake concepts were SO FIRE 😩🤘🏻 i was so so so excited for it to come out and WE WERE NOT DISAPPOINTED IN THE SLIGHTEST !! (like we were w quantumania 😬) WAIT HELLO U HAVE ALL THE MAVERICK CARDS ALREADY???(@;@*@((@9@*#; WHAT SORCERY WKFJEKDM i didn't buy anything from maverick era but i did buy like a mystery pack of pcs someone was selling off instagram and got a couple pcs to start my section of them 😔😔 but i think after buying be awake im trying to not buy anymore of that stuff :'))))

NO CUZ THE WHOLE ROCKET BG STORYLINE WAS SO SAD SKXNSKDN I DIDNT EXPECT THAT I LITERALLY HATE THAT ITS SO SAD AND DARK LIKE??? im so glad my man rocket was SOLIDIFIED as an absolute genius now tho, that's so cool for him even tho it was bc of that wicked fkn high evolutionary trash 😭😭 floor's voice and actions and appearance combined were so scary PLS 💀 she's an absolute sweetheart but my goodness gracious, she will be someone's sleep paralysis demon—

OMG 🥺🥺🥺 BESTIE UR FEEDING INTO MY EGO SKCNKEMD i sometimes do write like im directing a scene instead of writing a fic/novel (´Д⊂ヽit's like a really bad habit cuz it doesn't allow me to flesh it out, but if u remember from the changmin fic otr, in the scene right after they confessed, changmin calls chanhee and it cuts right to yn's actions, and i was literally just imagining it as like a very abrupt scene break 2kfnskfjkdkd AND in that same fic and wavelength, in the cherry blossom quad scene at the end where changmin says "we never did get to finish that duet", i just imagine the scene ending with them looking at each other with the quad in the bg and the screen fades to black and he says the line OR it ends with like a close-up of how close their hands r to touching or smth— im telling u,,,, i literally think abt EVERYTHING as a movie sequence 😭😭😭 i could prob tell u what angle the proverbial camera is in for each scene 💀

STOP CUZ BEOMGYU IS MY BIAS TOO 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE THAT MAN W ALL MY HEART FRFR taehyun has been wrecking tho lately @_@ LIKE ,,, all of txt needs to chill w going to the gym, that's all im gonna say......... OMG I WILL WATCH THAT CLIP IN A MOMENT JSFNJDNDN BUT I STARTED WRITINF SOME OF THE SLOW DANCING FIC AND IDK WHAT THE VIBE IS COMPLETELY BUT I WILL LYK IF THE CLIP U SENT MATCHES IT ONCE I GET TO WRITING MORE TRUST o7

i too used to be a chronic ghost reader 😭😭😭 i had an old account where i tried writing, but i never really interacted with ANYONE and i thought that reblogs were just for people who went above and beyond 😭😔 but then when i started gaining more traction on this new acct, i realized how much reblogs really did matter and how tumblr apparently does run on them 🤧🤧 but yeah, i do appreciate u coming into my ask box all the time !!! this and/or reblogging,,, i appreciate both VERY DEEPLY :'))

TULIP, U HAVE A WAY W WORDS (´Д⊂ヽ if that's a quote from somewhere else, we can pretend u came up w it 🤩🤸‍♀️ love u lots 💖 more than 3000

#sungbeam strikes again #🌷 anon

[angelparadox]

@neverscored liked this for a randomized lyrical starter

"you're like a breath of fresh air on a warm summer evenin'."

#neverscored #( * v. i’m pretty cool once you get to know me // main. ) #i COULD have made it more than a one liner but eh one liner works #also this is kinda cute ngl what a perfect starter lmao #he's a charmer what can i say

[sleepingdeath-light]

OH MY WORD SLEEPY WHY

WHO REQUESTED ARVEN AND GIACOMO YOU **KNOW** I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THEM AHALSJSJWK (also hello :3 I see you actually posted my silly info dumps which is cool! And you being so frickin’ chill about it makes my heart do the skippies)

OK SO UHH-

I LOVE THESE TWO?! ARGUABLY THE BEST CHARACTERS IN THE ENTIRE GAME OF S/V?!

So.. uhh.. you know what time it is, Sleepy 🫢

Ahem! Let’s start with Arven because Arven.. Ooh boy. He’s a SUPER popular character among the.. the SIMPS (AKA me)!!

SPOILERS FOR S/V HERE SO PLEASE DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPOILERS:

-Arven’s parents are professor Turo and Sada (which people confuse as the true professors of Paldea, which isn’t true! It’s actually director Clavell and Jacq!)

-his ace is Mabosstiff, his best friend and the second best dog Pokémon in the franchise (because midnight lycanroc is peak dog Pokémon design). Arven’s parents were actually pretty neglectful and were always in this place called area zero (an area zoned out in the middle of Paldea where no one is allowed in) researching the Pokémon there, so Mabosstiff was the only family he could rely on. Poor Arven.

-His parents actually died during an accident with the legendary Pokémon of this game, but I won’t explain it because it’s too complicated and we’re talking about Arven -w- not his parents!!

-Arven is an amazing cook! He loves to cook up nice meals for his Pokémon and for his friends, too! He wants to become a really good and famous chef one day and wants to make healthy meals that are both delicious and help Pokémon feel better (because Mabosstiff was mortally wounded and after he was able to heal him with the players help, he felt inspired to want to help Pokémon with his cooking)!!

-in the beginning, he’s actually a douche bag. Like, most people in the beginning were like “yeah he gives off rival energy” but once the player helps him find the herbs he needs to help Mabosstiff heal, he’s best buds with us and his softer side starts to show. 80% of the community can agree that his route carried the game.

-his team consists of Pokémon that revolve around either food ingredients or Pokémon that like to eat ^^ like a greedent (eats lots of berries), garganacl (a huge chunk of salt), Scovillain (has two spicy peppers for heads), and other Pokémon like that! :3

-the poor boy is so focused on tryna take care of his Mabosstiff that he doesn’t attend to his classes in the academy. Always getting yelled at for it 😮‍💨

-he’s not good at Pokémon battles which is why he’s leaning on the player to carry him in double battles against Titan Pokémon

-he’s actually the players upperclassman ^^ we don’t have an exact age, but that’s all we know as of right now.

I think that’s all I’ve got for Arven! :) Now for Giacomo!

So.. we don’t know much about Giacomo since he’s not a main character type deal, but here’s some cool stuff about him:

-He’s a dark type trainer! His ace.. is also a Mabosstiff I believe! Either that or a Kingambit.

-He’s a part of team star, a group of rebellious students from the academy in Paldea that like to cause trouble for other students at the academy (but actually, they’re just trying to get revenge on the bullies that gave them a hard time in the academy, but everyone thinks they’re bad guys). Giacomo is actually one of the five leaders of team star!

-the man loves making music. It’s his passion! He’s in charge of making cool songs for his group (and even made the team star theme song himself!!)

-his Pokémon are in timer balls (which is a really neat detail not many people point out) which represents his calm, collected, and patient nature (even though you don’t notice it right away because his intro is so BADASS). He’s a really chill and laid back fellow who really loves his friends and wants to protect team star from the bullies and all that cheesy stuff (but he’s also hiding it behind that super awesome attitude)

-I’m pretty sure he’s like the leader of the leaders of team star (not talking about Cassiopeia- DON’T LOOK THAT NAME UP UNLESS YOU WANT SPOILERS). the other leaders basically go to him when they need any help with something regarding Team Star.

-he wears the autumn (?) uniform along with a black jacket

-he actually used to be the student council president of the academy, but the students made fun of him and disliked him because he made up a ton of super strict and ridiculous rules that they didn’t like, so he quit and joined team star

Not much for fanon here, but I know that the fandom agrees he’s probably either related to Piers and Marnie or he’s a major fan of Piers’ music (especially considering they’re both dark types and their appearances are a tad bit similar)!!

Also Paldea is based off.. Spain! Yay! :) hooray for the Spanish speakers!

Oh wow, that’s quite detailed! Thank you as always for all of the fun facts and background information about these characters ^^

That’s a lot of info to work with and it will help me with writing these characters in a more detailed (and hopefully less ooc) way — so, again, thank you for your help! /pos

And to answer your first question: an anonymous requester lol

Oh! And I’m glad that me being chilled about it is being received well haha ^^

#sleepingdeath #re: fun pokémon facts #🚊 anon

[nsheetee]

One Foot in the Golden Life

Pairing: rich kid!renjun x caddie!reader Genre: rich kid AU, university au, romance, slight angst, mature content Length: 9.7k Summary: this is the story of a boy who is constantly pushed down by his father, a girl who just wants to not live paycheck to paycheck, and how they met on a golf course.  Warnings/Details: includes mentions of other NCT members, female reader, swearing, inaccurate depiction of golf, acts of sexual harassment towards the reader, mature content (unprotected sex, coming inside, oral [female receiving])

a/n: a big thank you to @insomni-writing​ for beta reading this ♡ also, if you are a minor, please beware that there is mature content in this fic!

You thought it would be the perfect opportunity to work at the most well-known country club in the state, but really the only thing your job brought you was perpetual cold to your hands and feet, and entangled your simple life with one of the youngest and richest bachelors at your university.

The only place on top of Mt. Carla is the Augusta Country Club, and it is a sight to see by the regular people who gaze up at it from the city below, like mortals looking up into the Gods’ chamber. The first time you went up the mountain for your job interview at the club, you got lost and were almost late. Thankfully, you didn’t crash your car on the winding roads, and got the job as well.

The Augusta Country Club is equipped with the largest and most expensive golf course in the region, but also has Michilin approved restaurants and the finest saunas and gym equipment any CEO could ask for. Those are usually the type of people that have club memberships: CEO’s, congress men and women, top-notch lawyers, and maybe the odd business owner that made it big enough to afford the price tag.

When you took up the job as a caddie, you had an idea of what you were getting yourself into. You’ve only been working for a month, but there are already a few regular golf players that prefer you as their caddie, which in your book is a success considering the type of high profile people that come to relax here.

However, today is different.

You can sense it when Kara and Mina, your coworkers who have been working here for a year longer than you, walk towards you and your friend, Lia, before your shift today. Mina has a small stack of info cards in her hands and they both hold smug smiles on their faces. The info cards have everything a caddie needs to know about who they’ll be working for that shift, and by the looks of it, today’s game will have a good match up.

“I’m going to be Mr. Huang’s son’s caddie. Don’t even fight me on this, you know I’ll win.” Kara states boldly as the two girls stop in front of you, snatching an info card out of Mina’s hand when she holds them up like she’s playing a card game, flashing the photos and names on the cards at you.

“I call dibs on Mr. Lee’s son.” Mina hums, not even bothering to keep up the act that they just want to be good caddies. “You two can have the old men.” She smiles tightly, shoving the other two info cards into Lia’s grasp and turning on her heel to walk away with Kara.

Considering you don’t even know what they’re talking about, you have no right to be mad at them. There is more confusion clouding your mind than anger at their rudeness. However, Lia does not share the same sentiment.

“I’ll shove these info cards up their-” Lia fumes, her volume rising as the sentence went on, and you quickly pulled her out of ear shot, around a corner by the bathrooms. “-stuck up two faced asses!”

“Lia…” You mutter, her wording making you shake your head at how unstable her temper is, “They’ve been working here for a lot longer than we have, just let them have those clients. Either way, what’s it to you?”

“What’s it to me? ___, they’re talking about Lee Jeno and Huang Renjun. I know I told you about them before.” Lia states like she expects you to have those two names tattooed on the front lobe of your brain already.

“I think I remember them…. They go to our University, right?” You try to regurgitate your friend’s rambles from months ago out of your head.

“Yeah, business department.” She sighs dreamily, as if the business department is the sexiest thing on campus. “This might be our only chance to shoot our shot.” You can’t help but grimace a bit.

“It can be your chance to shoot your shot. Leave me out of this.” You randomly grab an info card out of Lia’s hands, turning it around to see Mr. Huang Lijun’s photo staring back at you. You send Lia one last look, walking around her to go change in the dressing rooms.

“Aw, you’re no fun.” You hear her whine, her footsteps echo through the hallway as she comes up behind you. She almost knocks you into the wall from how forcefully she grabs onto your arm and swings it back and forth like you’re two little kids on your way to the playground.

“Maybe we can shoot our shot at the old men?” You and Lia stop walking, turning to face each other for a moment of silence. You blink at each other as if you’re both considering it, before erupting into laughter at the ridiculous thought and continue walking down the hallway.

You and Lia constantly joke around about finding rich sugar daddies at work to pay for your college tuition, but both of you know you’ll never actually commit to the idea fully. Neither of you will admit it, but you both know you don’t have the guts to do something like that.

By the time you, Lia, and your other coworkers change into uniform and gather your supplies for the Lee vs. Huang game, it’s already 10am. The air is crisp and cool, the signs of fall creep along your skin and taint the deep green trees in light oranges and yellows.

Despite the chill, you and your coworkers still wear skirts, long sleeve v-necks, and puffy vests; the only thing keeping your feet warm is a pair of short white socks and tennis shoes. You don’t mind the chill knowing that once the game starts you’ll be moving around enough to get warm. You stop thinking about your cold toes as soon as the door of the country club opens and the Lees and Huangs walk out.

The first time you lay eyes on Huang Renjun, you think your heart might stop.

You know it’s him because he walks close to his father as they make their way to where you’re standing by the golf carts. He has obviously dyed blonde color, his dark roots proof of that; it’s neatly gelled back in an effortless way with the light wind blowing a few of the locks gently as if an angel is personally moving them for him. His white jacket and black pants are slim and look like they cost more than all of your college textbooks this semester. He walks with his head high, his pretty, pink lips set in a straight line, and his almond eyes gentle.

Okay, so... maybe you understand the hype now.

“Good evening, ladies.” Mr. Lee announces, looking at you and your coworkers. You all politely introduce yourself and state who you’ll be caddying for.

Huang Lijun isn’t as tall as his son, but he looks to be more lively than Renjun, even at his age. He has a permanent smile on his lips and you can feel a friendly demeanor radiating from him when you approach.  

“Good Morning, sir. Let me take those off of your hands.” You politely grab the bag of clubs from him, feeling shy as his gaze doesn’t leave your face the entire time.

“You’re new here, right? I feel like I would remember you if I saw you before.” You’re surprised when he suddenly pinches your cheek, and he laughs at your shocked face. An unsettled feeling plants itself at the bottom of your stomach at the unwarranted touch.

“I’ve only been working here for a month, sir.”

“I think I’ll be coming around here more often, then.” He winks at you and turns to go sit in the front seat of the golf cart. You can’t help but let the feeling at the bottom of your stomach grow at how the older man looks at you. You definitely misjudged his “friendly” demeanor. Your eyes can’t help but glance at Renjun, who’s standing a few feet away from the whole interaction. He gives you a blank stare before turning and following his father.

In the past few weeks, you had gotten many lustful smiles and lewd gazes at your bare legs, but also many dollars in tips just in one morning by letting those smiles and gazes happen. The need to make ends meet justifies it all, and the cash you earn at the end of every shift only fuels this need.

The ride from the club’s main building to the first hole is short, so you quickly recompose yourself. You still have a job to do— a job you’re being paid lots of money for. You believe in your strong will to put up with whatever antics Mr. Huang pulls for the next few hours. Upon arrival at the first hole, you pull the bag of golf clubs out of the cart and follow in Mr. Huang’s quick footsteps, suddenly feeling sweaty from the exercise you’re getting by carrying these heavy clubs. When your group reaches the first hole, you set the bag down on the ground and press your hand over your face, but Mr. Huang’s voice startles you.

“Woah, there.” You jump and face him. “Those clubs cost more than my car, and unlike my car, they don’t deserve to be on the ground, darling.”

“Yes, sir. I apologize.” You smile shyly and pick up the clubs from the ground, your shoulders already straining to keep them up. ‘They weigh as much as a car,’ you huff.

This is going to be a long game.

“You kids can clean the carts today,” Mina suddenly throws a keychain at Lia’s face, she barely catches it before it hits her, “I have plans.”

“Me, too.” Kara quickly says, following after Mina as they both walk away. The game ended right at lunchtime (the Lees won) and now you and your coworkers are back at the club. It’s supposed to be everyone’s job to clean the golf carts after they’ve been used, but it looks like today it’ll just be you and Lia… Maybe.

“___, please. I’m going to be late to the cafe, my boss there is already mad at me.” Lia turns to you and begs with her hands clasped in front of her chest, eyes pleading and feet bouncing. You sigh; you’re hungry and your muscles are sore, and all you want to do is go home as quickly as you can. Still, you roll your eyes and take the golf cart keys from her, making her face crack open into a smile as she hugs you quickly.

“I’ll bring you coffee on Monday!” She screams at you as she practically runs away, leaving you with two golf carts to clean. You sluggishly begin, crawling into the cart the Huangs were sitting in when you find a small notebook laying on one of the seats. Picking it up to examine it, you find out it’s your university’s yearly planner, a book that everyone gets at the beginning of every academic year. Along the binder reads “Huang Renjun” and your eyes widen, immediately looking up to glance at the direction that Renjun walked off to a while ago.

Your legs move quickly through the corridors of the club, moving past changing rooms, saunas, and bathrooms, the planner tightly clutched in your hand. Your head is on a swivel and your lower lip is stuck between your teeth, until you hear a door open and slam shut behind you, making you turn your head to catch Renjun walking out of a changing room.

“Mr. Huang!” You call out.. Renjun freezes at the name, spinning on his heel to see you walking towards him.

“Sorry to disturb you, but you left your planner on the golf cart.” You hold it out for him, but he doesn’t take it.

“How do you know it’s a planner? Did you look through it?” You blink at him, stunned, and then glance down at the notebook. You’re surprised by the sudden questions and at the same time annoyed that Renjun accused you of snooping through his things so quickly. The image you had of him earlier, graceful, classy, and attractive, slips out of your mind as he stares down at you. However, this is the first time he’s directly talking to you, and you can’t help the spark that ignites in your belly from the roughness in his voice. It’s higher-pitched, but unpolished and jagged as he speaks with you.

“No. I go to the same University. I have the same one.” You explain. Renjun’s stare turns into shock.

“Really? Which department?”

“Fine Arts. I study Studio Art.” At first you think that you’re seeing things, but after blinking, you can guarantee that Renjun has jealousy painted on his face. It’s so sour that he looks away, trying to preoccupy his hands by fiddling with his bag. “So, are you going to take this, or…?”

“Yeah,” The bitterness drips from his tone, but you have a feeling it’s not directed at you, “Thank you for returning it.” He finally accepts it and turns to his bag, taking out his wallet. The cards inside look thick and heavy; memberships to places you’ll never step foot in and credit cards with limits you could never even imagine. Your pride tells you that you don’t need anything he could give you, so you silently turn around and walk away.

Renjun shuffles through some crisp 10’s and 20’s, but when he looks up to give you the tip, you’re already down the hallway and halfway out the door. You have golf carts to clean.

The next time you see Renjun is a week after the last game. The chilly weather remains, along with the useless uniform you have to wear, but this time around you’re not Mr. Huang’s caddie, you’re Renjun’s.

Kara walks next to you with Mr. Huang’s heavy golf clubs, her lips straight and head turned away from you to show her annoyance at how the caddie match up situation went this week. You’re sure to get an earful about this for at least the next few days, but you kind of like this revenge that fate dealt Kara. Either way, it’s not like there’s anything you can do about the match up. Renjun requested you to be his caddie this week, and you weren’t going to risk your bosses being angry with you by denying the request.

“Driver.” Renjun’s voice pulls you into the game. You pull out the correct golf club and put it into his awaiting hand, your fingertips brushing with his. “Aren’t you cold?” The words shock you, considering they’re the first words Renjun spoke to you today other than commands for golf clubs.

“I-I’m fine, Mr. Huang.” You respond promptly.

“Don’t call me that.” His tone is icy, and he quickly realizes how unnecessary it is to bite at you like that, “Just call me Renjun.” His father walks back from his shot, looking very smug. Renjun’s face is calm as he trades spots with his father and prepares for his first swing of the day, correcting his posture and loosening his limbs.

You remember the first time you saw him, how elegant and poised he looked. Your cold hands break into a sweat as your chest heats up from the quick beating of your heart. Renjun has only been icy and accusing towards you so far, yet you still feel warm while thinking about him. There has to be something wrong with you.

“Doesn’t my son look like he knows what he’s doing?” Mr. Huang asks from beside you, a small, unnerving smile on his lips.

“Yes, sir.” You reply back with your own, more innocent, smile.

“I taught him everything he knows about golf…. And women.” Mr. Huang leans into you, turning his chest to face you so that his breath is hitting your cheek. You can’t help but swallow to relieve your dry and cold throat, keeping your eyes forward as Renjun swings his club back and forth a bit in preparation.

“Yes, sir.” The only thought on your mind is to stop this man from stepping closer.

“Is that the only thing you can say?”

Renjun swings his arm back, breathing in as he keeps his eyes on the small white ball and his hopes in the green before him. Mr. Huang’s right hand is warm on your waist, but you would give anything to freeze right now.

A sharp crack ripples through the air as Renjun hits the golf ball and sends it flying into the golf course. His eyes are not where the ball lands, but instead on where his father touches you.

Renjun’s mom died when he was not even three days old.

He never got to meet her— to lay on her chest and hold her finger with his whole hand. He’ll never know what advice she would’ve given him when he got his first girlfriend, and he’ll never know how she would’ve reacted to him crashing his first car when he was 17. He only knows that his mom would’ve been there for him through all of that, unlike his father, who was not.

Renjun has had “mothers” through his life; three, to be exact. The first was when he was 5 years old, and she quickly asked for a divorce after Renjun’s dad went on a three month business trip and she didn’t hear from him the whole time. The second “mother” was a bit more mature than the first and with a lot more time on her hands. She wanted to shape 9 year old Renjun into a perfect student, which was something Renjun’s father appreciated, but still divorced her for “being too strong-headed.” Renjun only met his third mother twice when he was 13: once at the wedding and the second time at her funeral. He didn’t ask any questions, he wasn’t very interested in the first place.

These were the type of people Renjun spent his life around, but they really weren’t his mothers. The only similarity he had with those women was his father, and he treated them as poorly as he treated Renjun. That’s why when Renjun looks at you, cowering away from the very man who is his only link to family, he feels sick.

When is his dad going to stop being a fucking predator? How young does he want his next conquest to be? Will Renjun’s next mom be the same age as him? Something swirls in the pit of his stomach when he watches his father and it takes a moment for him to figure out what it is: jealousy. He’s not sure why he’s feeling jealous over someone he just met last week, but the feeling engulfs his whole chest and it burns him to his spot.

Renjun doesn’t even notice that he swung his golf club or that the golf ball went somewhere far into the green, probably an overshot. He only sees you, afraid of the man touching you but not stepping away. Why aren’t you stepping away?

“Nice job, Renjun.” His best friend, Jeno, claps a hand on his back as he steps up, hitting Renjun back into reality and forcing him to walk towards you. As Renjun approaches, his father slyly takes his hand away, and Renjun notices how you let out a relieved sigh. Giving you back his driver, Renjun strategically stands between you and his father, pretending to watch Jeno swing.

“Good job… Renjun.” You whisper, unsure about calling him by his first name so informally.

“Thank you.” Renjun sends a side glance to his father to see the displeased look on his face. “How was that, Dad?” Renjun hopes that maybe he can remind his father of why he’s here (to win against the Lees this week, not to feel up a girl 30 years younger than him) but in this moment, his father is acting like a 5 year old in the middle of a silent tantrum, not a 50 year old who runs the most successful construction company in the country.

“I’ve taught you better than that.” Renjun is sure they’re not talking about golf anymore, the authoritative tone in his father’s voice sends a lightning bolt of surprise and slight fear down Renjun’s back. He hates how he gets scared, he hates how his father can control him. The fury churns in the pit of his stomach as he accepts his father’s words with a bow of his head.

One day, Renjun swears he won’t submit anymore.

After the game ended with the Lees winning once again, you, Lia, and your other coworkers convene at the golf carts after the clients leave to change inside the club.

“You ladies know the drill.” Kara throws both sets of golf cart keys at you before walking off with Mina. You push Lia towards the entrance of the building before she even has a chance to turn around and open her mouth.

“You should get to the cafe before your boss throws another fit.” Lia turns back to face you, her jaw slightly slack and her eyes shining.

“You’re seriously the best. I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, just give me a few extra shots in my coffee on Monday.” Lia laughs at that, grabbing your face between her two small, manicured hands and kissing you on each cheek before hopping off inside. You can’t help but be amused at her antics, turning to the golf carts in front of you to start cleaning.

“They make you clean the carts by yourself?” The voice startles you, not because you weren’t expecting it but because it’s Renjun’s. You turn your head over your shoulder, he’s standing just a few feet away still in his golfing gear from earlier.

“Uh, not usually, no. But my coworkers haven’t been happy with me lately.” You explain, fully turning to him and crossing your arms over your chest to tuck your cold hands into your sides.

“The ones who have been working here for a while?” You nod as an answer, and Renjun nods back in understanding, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. “They’ve been trying to get with me and my best friend for a while...” Renjun trails off when he sees your eyebrows raise at the comment, “... But that’s not what I came here to talk about.”

“Oh? What are you here for?” The conversation has gotten too informal for a worker and their client to be having, but you kind of like talking to Renjun in this casual setting.

“I realized that the past few times we’ve talked I’ve been such a dick.” He laughs lightly as he remembers, “I wanted to apologize for that. I wasn’t in a good mood last week and this morning, and I ended up pushing it on you.”

Renjun feels lots of emotions when it comes to you, despite only having this one proper conversation with you. He feels envy towards you for being able to study something that he desperately wants to. He feels guilt when he remembers how quickly he made you into a thief when you were only trying to return his belongings, and he feels so many other secondary and tertiary emotions in between. His head is full when he looks at you. He finally feels like he’s thinking about something, not just doing the same day to day motions in a constant cycle of ‘when will this end?’

“You’re apologizing?” You ask, stunned when he nods his head in confirmation. Sincere apologies are important to you. You believe there are not enough of them in this world anymore, and his gentle almond eyes are too wholehearted and warm for you in this cold weather. Your heart feels full looking at him, and you curse at yourself in your head for being swayed like this.

“I also have a question… You mentioned you’re majoring in Studio Art and I was wondering if, maybe, you could let me into one of the studios after a class this week? I’ve been needing a quiet place to work since my house has been busy lately.” One of the hands that was in Renjun’s pocket moves to matte down his sideburns while he glances at his shoes. “Was that too forward? Sorry, I just know that you can’t get into a studio without a passcode and you’re the only person I know who’s in Studio Art.” Renjun explains after you stare for a while, blinking at him.

“You’re an artist?” You finally ask, Renjun giving you a weak ‘yeah’ in response. A part of you wants to say no, that it’ll be weird to do something like this for him when you’ve only known him for less than 2 weeks and up until this point, you’ve only been in a worker-client relationship. However, you’re curious about what he’s like outside of this setting, especially what he’s like when his father has no possibility of appearing, since that seems to be the factor that turns his mood up or down.

“Sure. Come by studio 3 after 6pm on Wednesday and I’ll let you in, but... I heard Mr. Lee already scheduled a game for next weekend?” Renjun nods, “Then in return, you can win that game. It’s embarrassing always being on the losing team.” You smile playfully at the end to let him know you’re only joking.

“Deal.” Renjun sends a smile back of the same caliber, holding out a hand to shake with yours. If you thought you were affected by Renjun’s nice presence, his hand in yours sends you into another realm. His touch is warm from staying indoors and from keeping his hands in his pockets, and they contrast to your cold skin. He sucks in a breath through his teeth when your hands connect, turning your hand in his grip to look at your knuckles. “Are you sure you’re not cold? Your hands are freezing.”

“I’ll be okay. I just don’t have any good gloves to wear while working.” He huffs, small traces of white smoke leaves his mouth as he digs through his pockets.

“Wear these.” He replaces his hand in yours with a pair of his own gloves, “Your hands are precious, they shouldn’t be freezing.” Before Renjun can get embarrassed by his own words, he shoves his hands back into his pockets and turns on his heel, walking away, “I’ll see you on Wednesday!”

A knock on the studio doors shakes you away from staring at your painting, making you turn to look at who it is. Renjun peaks through the small window and waves when you make eye contact. You get up to open the door, almost forgetting that today is the day you agreed to let Renjun into your studio.

… Okay, that’s a lie. You definitely remembered that you’re supposed to meet Renjun, but you keep trying to convince yourself that you’re not excited about seeing him outside of that stuffy country club.

“Hey, sorry if I startled you.” Is the first thing he says when you open the door. He’s dressed in slacks, a dress shirt with a sweater over it, and a long coat over that. His nose and cheeks are slightly red from the rough wind outside and his supplies are clutched to his chest.

“Oh, you’re fine. I was just deep in thought.” Something about the studio makes both of you speak in hushed tones. No one else is here, but you feel the need to maintain the peace and quiet the room naturally holds. You and Renjun make your way to where you’re set up, he puts his things down on an easel to your left and takes off his coat, watching you from his peripheral vision.

Those uniforms they make you wear at work are just for show, Renjun knows that well, but that doesn’t stop him from appreciating you in the tight vest and little skirt. However right now, he likes your laid back look consisting of loose jeans and a layered shirt, he thinks it matches you.

“I was going to leave when you got here, but I think I’ll just finish this and head out.” You comment, aimlessly waving at your project.

“Please, stay as long as you need to. This is your studio, I don’t want to kick you out.” He laughs and licks his bottom lip. It’s breathtaking how innocent and nice his smile looks on his face. His eyes scrunch together to form laugh lines and his cheeks rise, he truly looks pretty when he smiles. You think this is the first time you’ve seen him like this.

You mumble back with a mixture of words that probably didn’t make sense and turn back to your work, leaving the room to continue with its peacefulness and quiet. However, Renjun’s presence next to you is too big to ignore. There are so many things you want to know about him and you have no excuse as to why you’re so curious.

“How about a game while we work?” You suggest.

“Sure… How about 20 questions?” It’s like he read your mind, so you smile and nod at his idea.

“You can go first.” You suggest.

“Okay, uh… Why do you work at a golf course if you’re majoring in Studio Art? Shouldn’t you be working at a, I don’t know, museum?” The question catches you off guard and Renjun notices how you stop painting, your brush and your hand floating in the air as you think, “Oh, sorry, is that too personal?”

“No, no… It’s just, normally, the first question people ask in a game of 20 questions is something like ‘what’s your favorite color’ or ‘what’s your sign’.” Renjun lets out a choked and embarrassed laugh, ducking his head down to look away from you. You can tell he’s about to change his question, so you quickly go back to painting and speak before he can.

“I did apply to work at several museums. I didn’t get any jobs, so I had to look elsewhere and Augusta was hiring. I know it’s not very fitting, but it makes good money and rich people know my name, even if it’s for just a few hours.” Renjun nods at your answer as if he could ever understand the idea of being poor, but the insight into your decision brings a fact to light that Renjun wasn’t 100% aware of before: you’re not like him, you need money.

“Don’t you hate the way people look at you there?” The words tumble out of Renjun’s lips faster than he can process the weight they carry. He turns to face you with guilt pooling in his eyes and his mouth opening and closing to find some words to correct the situation.

“No, I don’t like it.” You surprise him with your quick response, “But people like you don’t understand what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, to have to worry about how to pay the bills every month for years on end, always on your toes about money. I bet you think I’m cheap and—”

“No.” Renjun cuts you off promptly before you can continue, “Don’t make me into a jerk. I’m not like that. But the fact that that is the first thing you thought of worries me.” Your eyes widen at that, prompting him to elaborate. “Doesn’t that mean that’s how you think of yourself? Maybe not on the outside, but subconsciously. Sure, I won’t ever be able to understand how you live, but I wish you would not look at yourself as cheap and think of yourself as… beautiful.” Renjun lets the last words linger on his tongue, saying it quietly as if to not startle you.

You stare at him, your paintbrush resting in your hand and your back slouched as you watch him watch you. This is not the type of conversation you thought you’d be having with Renjun tonight, but you have to admit he makes a point. Eventually, you turn to your painting and stare at it some more, making Renjun turn and continue his own work.

“Ah, I asked two questions in a row.” He suddenly breaks the tense atmosphere, making you sigh as you remember you’re just playing a game, “You can ask two questions.”

He allows and relaxes when he sees you go back to painting.

“If you like to draw, why are you a business major?” Now it’s Renjun’s turn to freeze. Maybe if he did ask what your favorite color was he wouldn’t have had to endure this question from you, but he feels like he should answer it since it’s of equal weight to the one he asked you.

“It wasn’t my choice. I will most likely take my father’s place in his company and I need to at least know the basics before that happens.” You nod slowly. He looks so calm when he’s focused on drawing, but it’s not the same calm that you see on his face when he’s playing golf. You turn away before you get caught staring.

“Is that why your mood always changes when your dad is around?”

“Is it that obvious…” He trails off and you nod, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this out loud, but… It’s like everytime I’m around him, or at his office, or at home, my mind goes blank. I don’t feel like talking or thinking at all.” As he speaks, he sets down his utensils and turns to you, making continuous eye contact as he explains. You find yourself feeling comfortable at how easily he’s talking to you about such a deep subject.

“It sounds like… you’re angry.” You turned to face him now too, your paintbrush settled onto your canvas and your full attention on him, “My dad is like that. He gets so angry sometimes that he’s calm. No yelling or fighting, just silence. That’s how I know I messed up when he gets like that.” You nod, remembering all the times he’s been calmly mad at you.

“I don’t know… It’s confusing to me.” He straightens his back and stares at your foot as it moves around aimlessly. “What do I do?” He asks into the air, as if his pencil would suddenly start talking to him like a therapist.

“Just do what makes you happy.” Renjun’s glance over at you makes a smile pull at your lips, “I know it’s easier said than done. But you already know what it is that’ll make you happy, and that’s half of the battle. Why bottle it up?”

Renjun doesn’t know how he’ll ever get the courage to tell his father these things, but the way you’re looking at him as if he can do anything, he starts to feel tingles of confidence trickle into him.

“Oh, and why did you pick me to be your caddie this past weekend?”

“Well…” Renjun plays with his pencil. What is he supposed to say? He doesn’t want you to carry around his father’s heavy golf clubs? He doesn’t like the way his father touches you and gets jealous over it for some unknown reason? Yeah, he’s not going to say.

“Just because… I wanted you next to me.” The way he says it makes it sound so simple and true, but your heart drops to your stomach and springs back up going at 100 miles per hour. You can barely stop your hand from shaking as you pick up your brush, and it’s almost like you can’t see in front of you from the thrill of his words.

“Hey,” Renjun suddenly drops his pencil and turns to you, looking a bit confused and slightly upset, “Didn’t you ask three questions?”

“We’re letting the Lees win again today.” Renjun is in the middle of pulling up the zipper of his jacket when his father drops the news. Renjun’s footsteps stutter slightly at his father’s words and he stops walking next to the older man.

“Again?” He asks as he already thinks up an apology to tell you later when he loses.

“Yes, I need Mr. Lee to be happy when I bring up the new contract to him later in the sauna.” Renjun sighs and continues to walk next to his father. It’s the next weekend, and the third Lee vs. Huang game is starting in just a few minutes.

Renjun won’t lie, purposefully losing to his best friend and his dad every week is not the greatest stroke to Renjun’s ego, especially since Jeno won’t let it down around his other friends.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask you,” Lijun swivels on his heel to look at his son, “Have you been requesting for ___ to be your caddie?”

The questions stuns Renjun, making it hard to answer so his father takes it as a yes.

“Well stop it. Dad wants to have some fun.” He claps a hand on Renjun’s back and  smiles. In the past, Renjun would’ve just rolled his eyes and let his father do whatever he wants, but this time his blood boils. He feels true anger when his father struts away with the intentions of doing whatever he wants to someone Renjun cares about. He can barely move his feet after the old man, his mind cloudy as everyone makes it to the golf carts.

“Let’s have a good game today, Mr. Huang, don’t make it too easy to beat you.” Mr. Lee jokes around and the two old men laugh as they settle into their own golf carts. Renjun walks up to his cart and you wave to him, the white gloves he gave you last week snugly on your hands. Renjun thinks his anger is what spurs him into doing what he does next.

He steps close to you, leaning into your ear and wrapping his hand around your covered ones with his thumb rubbing on your exposed wrist, “Keep these on for me, babe. I don’t want you to be cold.”

The amount of jaws that drops after Renjun’s words makes him bite down his smirk and slide into the front seat of the golf cart, pretending to not see the daggers his father is  throwing at him with his eyes.

Your heart beats so quickly and loudly you’re sure Kara can hear it next to you if she wasn’t busy huffing about what Renjun just did. Sitting in the back seat of the golf cart, you watch the back of Renjun’s head on the way to the first hole. What got into Renjun? Why did he all of a sudden call you ‘babe’ and get so close? Not that you’re opposed to it, you’re just shocked.

The game begins once you reach the first hole, and the Huang’s put up a good fight throughout the entire game, keeping the Lees on their toes and the score sheet even. Everytime Renjun comes back from a shot, you smile at him and tell him good job, which earns you a pat on the back from him that warms you up from the inside out.

Renjun can tell his father is getting more and more annoyed with him; how Renjun is keeping you as far from his father as he possibly can, the gentle touches on your waist that you welcome wholeheartedly compared to the ones Mr. Huang would lay on you before. He likes how angry his father gets, especially knowing that he can’t do anything about it right now. Not to mention, you seem to be enjoying Renjun’s attention, which just adds to his confidence.

Now, your group arrives at the last hole of the game. The Lees step up and swing, setting their total score to 357. All Renjun and his father have to do is move the ball around a bit more to get their score to be higher and the Lees will win the game. Mr. Huang is up first, acting clumsy so that the ball doesn’t make it into the hole and brings the game to Renjun.

As he sets up his posture, his hands suddenly go stiff. This shot is so easy to make, he has made this exact hole several times. He breathes in and out deeply, deciding on if he should throw the game like his father said he should, or give his one last ‘fuck you’ to his Dad.

He glances at you and makes eye contact; you nod your head and smile a bit as if to say ‘go ahead, we all know you can do this.’ Renjun then grips his golf club and swings it back to effortlessly hit the golf ball, rolling it along the green and perfectly into the hole.

You and the other caddies clap for the perfectly executed shot and Jeno and his father come up to Renjun to shake hands. They don’t look upset, instead they look pretty happy for Renjun. However, Renjun’s father is deathly silent, not even congratulating Renjun on his win. Renjun wasn’t expecting a whole ceremony for him, but it does feel nice to put his father down a peg or two today, and that’s the thought that fills Renjun’s head as everyone rides back to the country club.

While getting out of the golf cart, Renjun attempts to turn back to you but is promptly pulled away by the back of his jacket by his father. Renjun yelps and pulls away, but that doesn’t stop Lijun from grabbing onto his son’s arm instead and pulling him inside.

“What was that? I specifically told you to lose the game and you did the exact opposite. How am I supposed to talk to Mr. Lee now?” Renjun’s father fumes, his low voice belting out into the corridor and making some of the passing staff turn their heads.

“That’s not my problem.” Renjun shrugs and his father stops shaking, stepping closer to his son.

“Excuse me?” He asks with menace dripping from his tongue.

“I said, that’s not my problem.” Renjun is fired up. He doesn’t see a way out of this now, no way his behavior is being excused, so might as well go all in.

“You did it for that caddie, ___, right?” His father squints his eyes and turns his head slightly. When Renjun doesn’t answer, Lijun laughs in his face, “It looks like I’m right.”

“What?” Renjun asks dumbly.

“It’s okay. You’re just a boy and you can make some mistakes over a girl, we’ve all been there once or twice.” Lijun fixes Renjun’s jacket and pats his shoulder, his angry disposition turning passive. “Besides, you can’t do much for that girl anyway. Is a ball in a hole really all she deserves?”

“I won the game because I could. I won it because that’s what I wanted.” Renjun states, his blood beginning to boil once again when his father says he doesn’t deserve you. What is he thinking? Does he actually think he has a chance with you? He can keep dreaming.

“We can’t always do whatever we want. There are consequences we have to face for doing whatever we want. Are you ready to face the consequences?” At the question, Renjun is reminded about the words you told him Wednesday night.

‘Just do what makes you happy,’ Those simple words are so hard to turn into reality. Renjun wants to be happy so bad. He wants to be away from this man and he wants to be closer to you. The consequences? Sure, he’ll deal with it all if it means he can stop living in the personal hell his father set up for him. Renjun pushes his father away a bit and steps out of the trap his father pushed him into, making Lijun’s eyes widen.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” Renjun says and turns around, walking back towards the exit of the building.

“Hey, where are you going?” His father shouts after him.

“To do the thing that I want to do the most.” He yells back and walks around the corner, out of sight from his father. Renjun practically runs through the hallways to get back outside and run to you, but you surprise him by greeting him by the saunas. He stops in his steps and you smile as you walk up to him.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you did really well today. I know I said I wanted you to win last week, but I didn’t think you’d actually do it.” You laugh.

“Thanks.” Renjun simply says, afraid of what else could come out if he keeps talking.

“Oh, I also want to give you these back.” You dig out Renjun’s gloves from your pocket, holding them out. This is it. This is the moment Renjun will start to do whatever makes him happy, whatever he wants.

And what he wants right now is you.

He quickly takes the gloves and then tightly grips the wrist of your outstretched hand, leading you down the hallway and around some corner. He hears you exclaim a small ‘woah’ but you let him guide you into a sauna, the door closing tightly behind both of you.

There’s no one else in the room, just the stuffy steam that floats in the small space between you two. Renjun has a tight grip on the gloves you gave back to him and his other hand runs through his hair and messes up the perfect form it held.

“Tell me to stop.” He demands, looking straight into your eyes.

“What?”

“Tell me to stop right now.” He takes a step forward, his eyes full to the brim with lust and his hands shaking with how much he’s holding himself together. You’ve barely been in the room for a minute, but your clothes are already sticking to you from the intense heat.

“I don’t understand,” You reply back as he keeps moving toward you. You take small steps back in return, “I don’t know what I’m stopping you from.” Half of you is playing dumb right now; you know what Renjun wants from you just by the look in his eyes. The other half just wants to hear him say it himself

“I’ll fuck you the way you deserve. Right here, right now.” Renjun’s voice is too angelic to say such nasty words, but he growls them out like he’s a tainted angel. You’re pressed against the wooden wall of the sauna now, Renjun just a step away. You lean into him slightly and rip the gloves out of his hand to throw them to the side.

“Do it.”

It’s all the permission Renjun needs to feverishly connect his lips to yours.

The action is so sudden, you don’t remember how Renjun got close to you so quickly. Despite his forcefulness before, his lips melt into you like chocolate melting over a fire, so hot and delicious that you just want more. His hands hold the sides of your face, pushing back your hair and his body pushing you back into the wall.

He sucks on your bottom lip, softly biting afterwards and making you let out a whimper, and then a moan when his thigh pushes between your legs and further presses you against the wall. Amidst the kissing, you find the zipper of his expensive jacket, unzip it, and pull the piece of clothing off. Afterwards, you pull his shirt off and break the kiss while you’re at it.

“I’ve been thinking about you in this skirt since….” Renjun hums at the thought, his hand sliding up your bare thighs and under your skirt, then he grips your ass and brings your core down onto his thigh, the friction enough to have you letting out a strangled moan.

“Since the day I first saw you.” He finally whispers and connects your lips once again. His hand on your ass doesn’t move, his other hand is placed on your waist as he helps you ride the rough material of his pants. Renjun can only watch your reactions; the way your head lolls back into the wall and your eyes screw shut, holding onto Renjun’s shoulders tight enough he’s sure there will be marks afterwards.

“Fuck— Renjun, don’t stop, please.” He’s mesmerized, absolutely addicted to how you look and sound right now, and it’s all because of him. The thought spurs him along, he removes your jacket and you blindly help him in removing your top and bra. You must look like a mess right now, especially since you’re coming close to your climax just by Renjun’s touch and his thigh. Not to mention the sweat dripping down both of you, a glistening sheen coating your skin that makes Renjun let out a low growl before he leans down and takes one of your nipples in his mouth.

He sucks and swirls his tongue, and you can’t help but moan his name again, digging your fingers into his blonde hair and tugging. Renjun moves from your chest downward, not letting an inch of your stomach and hips go past him without a kiss and a nibble, leaving you breathing heavily. He makes his way down to his knees and folds your skirt up, glancing at  you from his position.

“You don’t wear anything under here except your panties?” You nod, your head stuttering as Renjun applies pressure with his thumb over your slick hole, a wet spot already there to greet him.

“You’re so fucking dirty, baby.” He groans and leans in to swipe his tongue over your center making you shake as a response. He slides your underwear down and throws it somewhere to the side, catching the sigh of your arousal dripping down your thigh. His intense stare makes you shake him, embarrassment crawling over you at how he’s not reacting.

“Are you shy?” You whine, not really answering his question. “You don’t need to be. You’re beautiful.” The softness from his voice contradicts his more dominating tone from before, but you don’t have time to think about it before he dives in. You sigh in content when the pressure in between your hips caused by Renjun turns into pure pleasure. His tongue laps at your essence and his lips suck on your clit, you can tell he’s trying to find what exactly will make you tick.

When Renjun slides a finger into your hole unexpectedly, you jump and whimper a bit but the feeling of him sliding in and out along with his tongue circling and sucking on your clit makes a knot form in the pit of your stomach, tightening up your muscles and making your eyes roll back.

“Right there. Oh my god, right there…” You keep repeating, praying that Renjun treats you good and let’s you come. He adds another finger and you gasp, starting to move your hips in rhythm to his hand, holding onto his shoulders for more stability. He glances up at you, watching your eyes screw shut and your tits bounce as you use his hand to get yourself off. Renjun hums against you, and you can almost feel the ecstasy of coming undone, until Renjun pulls away. You groan, feeling like crying when your orgasm fades.

“Hey..” You whine, pouting when Renjun stands back up and licks your juices off of his lips. He has some on his chin and you bring your hand up to wipe it away, Renjun stopping your hand and kissing the wetness away, then kissing up your arm and to your shoulder, up your neck and to your ear. He tugs at your earlobe, licking the skin under it and biting some more, his hands sliding up your waist at playing with your nipples, pinching a little to get whimpers out of you and making your hips buck up, ready to continue where Renjun left you at.

That’s when you feel the hardness in his pants; it must be painful. That’s why you understand his next words, whispered into the shell of your ear between kisses: “You’re not coming until I’m in you, got it?”

You nod quickly, attaching your hands to Renjun’s zipper and button, undoing them and sliding down his pants.

“But, you’re gonna need to do something for me…” He says, helping you pull down his boxers, watching his angry, red length swing out. You gasp, feeling a bit bad that you just left Renjun like this to eat you out, but you’re sure you can make up to him now.

“What is it? I’ll do it.” Your hands run over Renjun’s sweaty shoulders, moving away some longer hair in the back of his head that’s sticking against his neck.

“You’re gonna have to yell my name. I need you to let everyone know who’s doing this to you— who’s making you feel good, okay?” Your breath gets caught in your throat as the words tumble out of his lips. He tilts his voice higher at the end of every phrase to make him sound innocent, but you’re not fooled.

“There’s people outside…” You mumble back, sending a glance at the door. You know there are several staff and customers walking along the hallways outside. What will they think if they hear you screaming Renjun’s name? Not to talk about what will happen to your job.

Those thoughts melt away when Renjun’s dick slides between your folds slowly, making you turn your gaze back to him and hold on tight as he lubricates himself over your wetness, holding onto your hips so that you don’t move and take anymore than what he’s giving you.

“That’s exactly why I want you to scream. Can you do that for me?” He asks and you nod frantically, doing almost anything to get his dick inside you. You’re not sure what’s going to happen once you step out of this room, but at least you know Renjun is going to give you the best fuck you’ve had in a while, and you know it’ll be worth it for what’s to come after all this.

“Finally…” You moan when Renjun’s length disappears into you inch by inch, going slow as to not hurt you. He sucks in a breath through his teeth as he bottoms out, picking up your thigh to hang it over his hip and wrapping his other arm around your waist to keep you close. You hold onto him, adjusting as he kisses your lips sweetly and carefully, and waits to move his throbbing cock through your velvety walls.

“Go, Renjun, move….” You whisper, and he looks at you confused.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you.” He asks, cocking his head.

“Please, move.” You say louder, but he shakes his head and purses his lips as if he still can’t understand.

“I said, fuck me, Renjun. Please, can you fuck me already?” You all but scream out, your voice almost cracking at how whiny you sound. No doubt, if someone passed by outside they would’ve heard you. The thought makes you tense up, but it feels so good to be able to yell out what you want.

“Your wish, baby.” Renjun mutters before he starts rocking into you. You both groan at the sensation, Renjun’s hips speeding up as he gains more momentum. His lips don’t leave yours, kissing you into oblivion while his dick stuffs you. He has you against the wall, his hips powering away and you don’t dare to disturb him, realizing he’s burning all of his anger away as well.

“Yes, Renjun, fuck me just like that…'' You moan loudly to spur him on, now not really caring about who’s outside or who hears you, just wanting Renjun to know you love how rough he’s going. He presses you higher up the wall and pulls your legs apart more, hitting a new angle that literally makes you scream out, tears mixing with the sweat on your face as he relentlessly pumps into you.

There are so many things going on at the same time. Your hard nipples and soft breasts rubbing against Renjun’s chest, making goosebumps rise on his arms. Your hot and sweaty bodies are basically sliding against each other. The clapping of his hips against yours no doubt attracts attention from outside along with your screams and Renjun’s grunts continuously get louder as you both get closer to the climax.

“I’m gonna come… Renjun, come in me…” You’re already fucked out, the words barely leaving your lips coherently, but Renjun understands and moves his finger down to find your clit, circling his thumb fast and steady, just like everything else he’s doing.

“C’mon come on my cock, babe. Let it out, I wanna hear it.” And just like that, you unwind and scream his name as your orgasm washes over and takes control, making you claw onto any part of Renjun that you can reach. Renjun feels your walls deliciously convulse around him and with a few more sloppy thrusts, he comes into you and fills you up, staying wrapped up in you as you both calm down.

Renjun presses small kisses wherever he feels like as your breathing settles down, his softness and the caring way he rubs at your sides and hips where he was holding so hard that you’re sure to have bruises makes you smile hazily.

“___… I don’t regret any of this.” He whispers into your skin, leaning back to look at you properly. “Do you?”

“No.” You answer truthfully, making his eyes shine and you both smile dumbly, your sticking bodies relaxing. The happy moment doesn’t last long before there’s a knock on the door to the sauna. You and Renjun stiffen up as you glance at the door, waiting for whoever it is to announce themselves.

“Renjun? Son?” Your heart drops to your stomach and you cover your mouth at the voice of Renjun’s father on the other side of the door, but when you turn to Renjun, he doesn’t seem bothered. He sends a smile at you and moves some hair from your face before answering.

“Occupied, go somewhere else. We’re busy.”

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[just-here-for-the-moment]

I got Javier Peña and size kink. I can’t wait… also… can we somehow tie this into the universe of my Frankie request from before… 🤪

OMG girl, I don’t know how to work this into the Frankie fic, but only because I feel like if you had this good of a time with Javier, why would you have ever left him?? LOL… Forgive me for failing on that front, but I do hope you enjoy this little drabble/headcanon about Javier Peña’s size kink!

Update: Oh, hey, there's a Part 2 now!

Word Count: 1280

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Outline: Javier Peña x “You” (petite cis/het female reader; “blank canvas”/no name/no use of “Y/N”)

Warnings: mature and vulgar language; a smattering of cop/suspect roleplay; some dom/sub elements; SIZE KINK; one instance of Javier restraining your hands with his hands; one instance of a ripped dress; vaginal fingering; mentions of blow jobs and throat fucking; mention of P/V sex; Javier has a FILTHY mouth; this is pretty much just Javier talking dirty about his huge penis and how tiny you are (sorry/not sorry)

“You like that?” Javier hisses into your ear from behind as he presses you up against the wall of his hallway, one massive hand gripping your hip through your thin summer dress. “You feel that huge cock in my jeans? That’s all for you, baby.”

He grinds once more against your ass so that there’s no mistaking what you do to him, and it punches the air out of your lungs. You feel like you’re drowning with desire.

“Put your little hands up on the wall for me, sweetheart. Can’t have you trying to get away right after I got you just where I want you.” He emphasizes his command with a hot lick to the curve of your ear, and you feel your knees start to give out.

Javier’s fingers dig harder into your hip as he brings his free hand down to grab your wrist. You let him pull your hand up above your head, palm flat against the wall, and you bring your other hand up to join it.

Javier wraps his fingers around both of your wrists, pinning you to the wall as he grinds his hips against you one more time. You rest your forehead against the smooth, cool painted surface, grateful for the contrast against your heated brow.

Before you can collect yourself, Javier bends his knee and pushes it up between your legs, shoving it hard to one side. “Legs apart, open up for me. This is going to be a very thorough pat-down, honey.”

You suck in a massive gasp of air and revel in the feeling of Javier taking control. You love this game, and you trust the man to play it well and to play it fairly with you. He always gives you what you want and he’s never once come close to hurting you. But that’s the fun part, isn’t it? The hint of danger? The possibility that he could, at any time, just pick you up and have his way with you?

You love the fact that Javier has so much bulk and strength outmeasuring you. He’s more than a head taller, a good forty or fifty pounds heavier, and lots of it is ropy muscle honed from years of a physical job. Just the fact that he could very well pin you down for hours without breaking a sweat… it makes you moan.

“You hot for me already, baby? I haven’t even touched you yet.” His hand leaves your hip and you feel him skim it up to your breast, cupping it and squeezing before roaming to the other one.

Javier’s fingers drift back to the center of your sternum. He fumbles with the small buttons there for a moment before hooking his fingers into the openings between them and dragging the fabric hard to one side. You gasp and bite your lip, not quite hard enough to draw blood, but close. You hear the tiny pearl buttons clatter to the floor, but all he’s managed to do is pop off two or three.

“Keep your hands right there for me.” Javier growls into your ear. “Don't. You. Move.” And then he releases his grip on your wrists.

Even though you can guess what’s about to happen, you still go reeling when he actually does it. Javier hooks both hands into the opening he’s created at the bodice of your dress, and there’s the briefest moment of hesitation before you feel the pull of the fabric, the sound of more buttons hitting the floor, the cool air hitting your cleavage. You feel faint with desire, fighting the urge to slump down to the floor, let go of the wall, the only thing holding you in place.

You clench your jaw and try to remember how to breathe as Javier brings both of his hands up to cup your breasts through the lace of your bra. He bends his head down to nuzzle the back of your neck and you nearly faint right there.

Just when you think you can’t possibly take any more, Javier drops one hand down. You feel his fingers trail up the front of your thigh. He skims his fingertips up and under the hem of your dress until he reaches the edge of your panties.

In the blink of an eye his fingers dip between your leg and the lacy fabric, swiping up through your folds, straight to the source of your heat and your slick. He brings his face down to rest alongside your cheek, breathing hot and hard over your skin. You fight the urge to grind down against his hand, knowing that if you do he’ll make you wait even longer for the rest of your pleasure.

“I like your tiny, tight little pussy,” Javier whispers against your cheek. You roll your forehead to the side and let his hot words fan across your lips. The hand on your breast moves down to encircle your ribcage, pulling you tight against him to feel his erection again. “I love feeling you squeeze me… the way my fingers look so big when they’re inside of you.”

Javier’s fingers are sure and quick. Two of them tucked deep inside of you feel almost like four of your own. They are thick, one of your favorite things about him, along with the way his wide chest cages you against the wall where you stand, the way his strong arms encircle you when you have your head tucked against his front.

“Are you going to come like this? I’m not finished with you yet, but I’ll let you come on my fingers first if you promise to be good later.”

The words choke out from you in a whisper. “... if I’m good?”

Javier digs harder inside of you, reaching for the spot he knows makes you quiver, and he brings his broad thumb into play, pressing and circling your clit. You whine and bite your lip again, and this time there’s the metallic sting of blood against your tongue.

“If you let me put my dick in your mouth, slip it between those plump little lips of yours, suck all of it down for me... I’ll let you come. I’ll make you come.” You moan, a low, keening sound full of need and want, and Javier knows he’s got you right where he wants you.

“If you’re good, if you can fit all of me this time, I might even let you come twice.”

“Yes!” Your voice is foreign to your own ears, high and ragged. “Yes, Javi, I want you. I want you to stick your huge dick down my throat. Please.”

“And then? After you’re done taking me down your throat, I’m going to fuck you hard. Watch my massive cock disappear into that tight little cunt of yours. You want that?”

“Yesss,” you hiss, and your head is completely filled with the feeling of Javier stretching you open, the way that he fills you up... the way that he fucked you last week when you straddled him and he grabbed your hips and bounced you up and down on his cock like you weighed nothing.

“Oh god, Javi, I’m close.” His thumb rubs your clit twice more and he flexes his fingers inside of you, sending you over the edge. You keep your hands on the wall and promise yourself that you’ll be good for him, knowing that he’ll be good to you in return.

“That’s my girl.” Javier chews your earlobe and you finally slump, letting him turn you and pick you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you to his bedroom to finish the job.

---

Javier Peña character masterlist

JHFTM Main Masterlist

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[jojosbizarrefanfics]

fun sex with kakashi? maybe reader teases him with a knowledge of icha icha paradise that he didn’t know she had? i just want him to be laughing and happy for once

oh god I LOVE this prompt for Kakashi so much 👏👏 v excited to write this one!

“Hey, sorry I’m a bit late,” you said as you took your next across from Kakashi at the izakaya. You placed a hand on his shoulder as you sat and he looked up at you. You could see him smile beneath his face mask.

“Oh, you’re fine,” he said. “Everything okay?”

“Very chatty student,” you said with a chuckle. “You know how it gets.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said in understanding; there were times where he would have paid anything to shut Naruto up. “Don’t worry about it.”

Your drinks came shortly after; you had visited this place enough with Kakashi that he had your order memorized. You thanked him for being on the ball and admired his face as he slipped his mask down to take a sip of his own.

Kakashi was one of your best friends, now the Hokage. And by God, was he beautiful. You’d never told him that, of course, and now that he was Hokage you were sure you didn’t stand a chance. He could have anyone.

“What are you reading?” You asked. Kakashi answered by raising an eyebrow as he sipped his drink. “You have a book tucked beneath your arm,” you observed. “Were you reading while you waited for me?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Kakashi said. The smile that graced his face was nervous. “Nothing I haven’t read a thousand times before.”

You grinned. “A thousand times before? Can I see?”

Kakashi panicked internally but knew it would make it worse as he stopped you from reaching across your table for two. He was grateful that you were in your usual, private corner when you flipped open to wear the book was dog-earred.

“Oh, and here I was thinking you were joking around when you carried this with you everywhere,” you teased. “Ah, but you’re at my favorite part.”

Kakashi thought he was going to choke on his drink. “You have a favorite part?” He leaned forward. “You’ve read those?”

“Oh, yeah,” you said. “The next scene is so romantic, don’t you think? When he takes her to the tower and they’re looking at the stars... it’s so dreamy.”

Kakashi’s face turned red. You left out, of course, that they were looking at the stars as the main character fucked his heroine over a desk in a high tower.

“Yeah,” Kakashi said as he cleared his throat. “Romantic is one way to put it, I suppose.”

You handed him his book back. It promptly went in his lap.

“You all right?” You asked Kakashi. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said as he shifted in his seat. Kakashi was not all right, but he needed to play it cool. “Just... wasn’t expecting that from you.”

You smirked. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”

Kakashi could feel his face heating up and was grateful for the dim lighting in the bar. You still noticed his blush, but didn’t say anything. You just kept a mental note of that.

As you wrapped up your catching up and bar snacks, Kakashi said, “I know I normally walk you home, but I have to swing by the office. I left some things behind. Do you want to come with me before I walk you home?”

“Yeah, it’s a nice night anyway,” you said with a smile.

His mask was back on once you left the izakaya, and he was oddly quiet the whole way. The streets were pretty quiet as it was getting fairly late, but between your skills as a shinobi and Kakashi being the hokage, you didn’t feel anything other than safe despite the silence.

Once you got to his office, Kakashi closed and locked the door behind him. He pulled his mask down; that was odd, you thought. While you had seen his face plenty of times before whenever you’d meet at the izakaya weekly to catch up, he usually still opted to wear it when he wasn’t eating or drinking.

“I... don’t have anything I need from here, actually,” Kakashi confessed. You rose a brow at him and then, once you realized the room you were in, it dawned on you.

Kakashi saw you figuring it out on your face and he was certain you’d be mad, but you just gaped at him jokingly and said, “Kakashi! Trying to get all smooth with me, now, are you?”

Kakashi laughed nervously. “You said you thought that part was romantic. You even called it your favorite!”

You laughed and grabbed a hold of his hand. You lead him towards his desk where you had a better view out the window if you leaned against the back of it. You could see the whole village from here, with a beautiful view of the stars.

“It is lovely up here, though,” you said. You leaned your head against his arm. Kakashi smiled down at you. “Your attempt at being smooth worked.”

“If I had known you liked Icha Icha, I’d have brought you up here sooner,” Kakashi said.

“There’s a lot more to than scene than the stargazing that I like, but this is nice too,” you admitted.

Kakashi laughed. “Whoa! You don’t get to just say something like that and then drop it like it’s nothing.”

You pushed some of your hair back. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m getting at, Hatake.”

“Excuse you,” he replied with a fake gasp of offense at your attitude, “that’s Hokage to you.”

It was your turn to laugh. You decided to lay your response on thick. “Alright then, Hokage-sama.”

Kakashi’s stomach dropped at the way you said Hokage-sama. It was part playful, part sexy, and the honorific was unexpected. He couldn’t help himself any longer and kissed you. Your hands found his hair as you melted into Kakashi’s kiss, and he already knew he couldn’t get enough of the way you tugged at it.

Kakashi had struggled for a long time with his feelings. It was hard for him to get too close to anyone these days, but you made it so easy, and your weekly izakaya dates made Kakashi feel like you were his home. Kissing you felt right, he thought, and he was mad at himself for not acting on this sooner since it seemed like you were in the same boat of harboring affections.

“Do you want me to bend you over my desk so we can watch the stars?” Kakashi asked against your mouth. “It’s your favorite part of the book after all, isn’t it?”

“Will all of Konoha see us with these windows?” You asked between kisses.

“And what would they gonna do about it if they could?” Kakashi asked with a smug grin. “I’m the Hokage, after all.”

You laughed. “Well then, what are you waiting for, Hokage-sama?”

That was all Kakashi needed to start stripping you of your clothes. Your vests were first to fall forgotten to the floor, the kunai you kept in yours causing them to hit the ground with a soft clank. You and Kakashi didn’t rush your disrobing, but slowly helped each other remove your garments one by one.

“So did I totally mess up our friendship, or what?” Kakashi asked as he kissed your neck.

“Depends on how you define mess up,” you said. “If you mean ‘never be able to go into my friend’s office and look him in the eye at his desk without having to touch myself afterwords,’ then absolutely.”

He laughed pretty loudly as he cupped one of your bare breasts in his hand. “I think I can live with that. I’d like to think of you getting off to me when you’re alone, all riled up after a meeting with the Hokage. Naughty girl.”

You both giggled at his playful teasing and then Kakashi bent you over his desk. You could see the view out the window of the village and the clear night sky, just like in Icha Icha Paradise.

You felt one of Kakashi’s hands grip tightly at your ass. Meanwhile, with his free hand, he dipped two fingers into you.

“How long have you wanted this?” Kakashi asked as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out of you. “With me?”

It was hard to speak without moaning, but you managed a, “Longer than I’d care to admit.”

He sighed. “I really am a fool, huh? We could have been doing this much sooner. Hey, can you do me a favor and reach in that front left desk drawer?”

His nonchalance as he fingered you was typical Kakashi, but you managed to open it. You could safely assume the box of condoms was what he was looking for, so you fetched one for him.

“Thanks,” he said. “Iruka got me these as a joke when I became Hokage. Said he thought I might need ‘em.”

You held back a snort. “We’ll have to ask him how to perform the foresight jutsu.”

Kakashi laughed. You already missed the feeling of his fingers in you when he withdrew them to unwrap the condom, but it wasn’t long before you were filled with Kakshi’s cock. He started off slow but quickly upped the pace, landing on one when he heard you moan in a way that nearly made him cum early from how sweet the sound was.

The sensation of Kakashi filling you completely, gripping at your hips, and of your nipples rubbing against the smooth surface of his desk combined nearly sent you over the edge. What did you in was Kakashi’s deep voice moaning your name, a pleasure you only thought you’d experience in your dreams.

Kakashi, meanwhile, was convinced that you were made for each other as he felt your pussy clench in orgasm on his cock. He kept thrusting, intensifying your own orgasm the whole way.

When Kakashi came, you both stayed in that position for a moment as you caught your breath. Once he pulled out, he side-stepped to help you stand. Your legs were a bit wobbly, but Kakashi had you in his arms as you stood. He dumped the condom in the nearest trash bin and was quick to walk back to you.

“I’ll clean this up in the morning,” he said as he referenced his desk’s messy state. You helped each other get dressed and along the way, Kakashi would sneak kisses on your cheek here and there.

Your walk home was as quiet as your walk to his office was, except now Kakashi was holding your hand. When you reached your home, you broke the silence.

“Do you wanna stay the night?”

Kakashi nodded. “I’d like that.”

#hatake kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi x reader #Kakashi smut #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fanfiction #female reader

[titan-fodder]

Prima Vista Part V

[ previous ]  Rating: E (explicit; mdni) Pairing: Mike Zacharias x Reader, Zeke Jaeger x Reader wc: ~ 8.8k Warnings: pining, testosterone, Zeke being a dick (who woulda thought), subtle manipulation (both on Zeke’s part that goes unchecked and accidentally on Mike’s part) A/N: Well, we’re gettin’ there. We’re truckin’ along. I’m sorry for the last chapter. And, I’m sorry for this one. But, I do still hope you enjoy it. I think we’re at the halfway mark here. 

Mike gets a text from you at nine PM three days before he’s supposed to go back to campus. It’s just a few words, a question that makes his heart drop to his stomach because you’ve never asked it before.

 Can we talk for a sec?

 He waits for a few minutes, tries to get rid of the panicked feeling rising in his chest, but he can’t get it to go away entirely, so he just bites the bullet and calls you. 

 “Heyyy,” you greet. Mike can already tell a difference in your tone. Something is definitely going on.

 “Hey, what’s up?”

 “I just, uh…” He hears you suck on your front teeth, a nervous habit he’s well versed in now, then you tell him, “I just wanted to give you a heads up before you get back here.”

 Mike swallows. “Heads up about what?” 

 Are you leaving? Did you fail your summer classes despite all his help? Did you get into some kind of accident?

 You let out a long breath that Mike wishes he could feel on his skin. He wishes he could see your expression, wishes he could hold your face in his hands and tell you that whatever it is, it’ll be okay. Seems like he’s always wishing for things.

 “Um, I—uh… I’m kind of seeing someone.”

 The floor falls out from beneath him, and Mike drops with it, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He grits his teeth, trying to breathe normally—in through the nose, out through the mouth. This is about the last thing he expected you to confess.

 It’s apparently taking too long for him to gather himself, because you say his name, “Miche?” and he has to squeeze his eyes shut.

 “I’m here. It’s, uh, fine,” he lies. “It’s fine.”

 “Is it?” You sound worried, as you should because while Mike isn’t mad, he’s extremely disappointed, probably the most he’s ever been. 

 Taking a page out of your book, he tries to play it cool, act like he doesn’t care. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

 “Well, you—...” Met your mom? Learned your secrets? Tried to tell you that he loved you? All valid responses, but you just dismiss it with a quiet, “Nevermind.”

 Mike hums, lets the line go silent for a while, then musters the courage to question, “Do I know him?”

 “Yeah, I think so.”

 “What do you mean ‘you think so’?”

 “I mean he’s mentioned you, so I figure you’ve had at least a few conversations.” You’re getting that sassy tone, the one that signals you want to drop the subject, but you can’t this time. You’ve already warned Mike that you’re off the god damn market. You might as well tell him who exactly he’s gonna see you holding hands and sucking face with. It’s the merciful thing to do. 

 “It’s not one of the Pike guys, is it?”

 “No, no,” you laugh and it makes Mike want to scream because he doesn’t find this amusing at all, and it only gets worse when you finally answer, “It’s Zeke Jaeger.”

 Mike nearly hangs up then and there, but he somehow fights the urge. He does hold his phone away from his ear, though, stares up at his ceiling for a few seconds and stretches his arm out, then brings the device back. “Cool. He’s a… Talented dude.”

 “Yeah, but I mean, I’m not exactly starstruck or anything. Not after hangin’ out with you all of last year.”

 Mike rolls his eyes so hard he thinks they might fall out of his skull. “You don’t have to make this about me, ba—...” He catches himself before finishing the pet name. He can’t do that anymore. He can’t call you what he wants to. He can’t flirt or smooth hair out of your face. He can’t pick you up and hold you against the walls of the house. He can’t show you how much he cares for you. 

 “I know. I just feel kinda bad,” you mumble. 

 “You shouldn’t. It’s cool.” His flat tone is anything but cool, and you can probably tell, but there’s not much Mike can do about that.

 You’re pouting when you question, “You’ll still be my friend?” Mike can see the expression without actually seeing it, the doe eyed look you’d be giving him if he were in front of you right now. He can also imagine looping his arms around you and smiling crookedly and kissing your forehead, and fuck, he feels broken. 

 “Yeah,” he sighs. “Shouldn’t even be a question.”

 “Good.”

 You lapse into another silence, just breathing and waiting for the other to break. It’s you who does. You clear your throat and state one more time, “I just wanted you to know.”

 “Thanks.”

 “See you in a few days.”

 “Yeah,” Mike is barely listening at this point, just looks at the poster on the wall and lets it fall out of focus. “See ya’.”

 You don’t hang up immediately, like you’re waiting for him to say something else, but Mike saves you the trouble and presses the ‘end’ button on his phone then tosses it on his pillow and falls back onto the mattress. 

 He just doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand any of it. You’ve gone an entire year denying him, keeping yourself closed off and never once bringing up the possibility of actually being together. After all the time spent together, after all the date parties, all the sex, staying at each others’ houses. He feels like he knows you better than anyone else probably does. You let him in. You let yourself be vulnerable in front of him. You acted like you trusted him.

 So, why isn’t he your first choice? As soon as you realized you were ready to make a fucking commitment to someone, why wasn’t it him?

 Mike doubts he’ll ever get the closure. He’ll just have to cope with seeing you around campus with Zeke god damn Jaeger, have to pretend like everything is fine, like you haven’t ripped his heart out of his fucking chest. 

 Unbearable. It’s going to be absolutely unbearable. 

 *

 Moving somewhere new always blows. It takes so much energy that Mike doesn’t have, yet here he is, hauling bags and boxes up to his new apartment unit. Honestly, he would almost prefer to stay in the frat house instead of having to make all the trips up and down these god damn concrete stairs, but at least now he’ll finally be away from all the parties. That will definitely come in handy this year considering he’s not gonna want to go to a single fucking one of them. 

 Once all of his belongings are stacked in his fairly small living room, Mike glances around his new haven, already thinking about how empty it feels without all the guys milling about and dicking around. He doubts he’ll miss the constant noise, but it’s still something that will take some getting used to.

 What he will miss is seeing you all the time, waking up in his old room to see you still fast asleep on his pillows, sitting in the main room with the others, heckling them as they play various games. He’s been focusing on the small things for the last couple of days, the things he never took the time to really enjoy. It feels like he didn’t stare long enough or laugh hard enough when he had the chance, and now he doesn’t know when his next opportunity to do either of those with you will be.

 Mike scrubs a hand down his face, scratches the hair he’s let grow out a little too much, then slowly begins to unpack his things. He’s being melodramatic, he knows, but he can’t help it. He can either let himself feel sad, or he can let the unbridled fucking rage take over, and out of the two, he prefers the former. 

 Mike’s class schedule gets pinned to the wall in his bedroom. His laptop gets set up. Textbooks are tossed into a corner. He really doesn’t care to do much more than that, but he figures he should make the place at least a little presentable. Who knows? Maybe he’ll find someone to entertain.

 The thought makes him a little sick to his stomach, but it’s a sensation he’s slowly getting used to as more time passes.

 Mike knows he needs to pull himself together, needs to put on a brave face. Pretty soon all the frats will be dealing with the dirty rushers, all the kids who weren’t able or didn’t think to suck up to the brothers during the spring. Then there’s inductions and hazing… Fuck, fall semesters are so tedious even without living in the house. He’s never been a huge fan of it all, but he’s had this image to uphold since he became a pledge.

 Now, Mike isn’t so sure he can keep that image in place.

 He stays locked away for as long as he possibly can, but eventually there’s a knock on his front door—Erwin who shoots Mike a broad grin and wriggles his ridiculous eyebrows. “You ready, bro? Got a place all your own with no one to bother you—”

 “You’re bothering me.”

 “Can do whatever you want,” Erwin powers on, completely unfazed. “Bring back whoever you want, no pesky frat boys to get in your way ‘cause fuck those guys, right?” He goes to grab Mike’s shoulders while laughing at his own joke, but Mike swats him away. 

 It makes Erwin scoff, and then he’s pushing past Mike to get into his new home, looking around for just a second and breathing out a little, “Eesh,” before turning back and giving Mike a look of condescension. “Don’t tell me this bad mood is because of your little toy finding someone else.”

 “Okay, firstly, fuck off,” Mike squints at him. “And, secondly, how do you already know about that?”

 Erwin examines his manicured nails, buffs them on his shirt and tells Mike, “Saw her and Jaeger walking out of the bookstore earlier. They looked pretty cozy. Pretty giddy, too, all smiles and—”

 “Shut. The fuck up.”

 The other man snorts. “Calm down, dude. I’m sure you can get her back or whatever you’re trying to do. Zeke’s an assole. Won’t take her long to figure it out.”

 “We’ll see.”

 This time Mike lets Erwin clap a hand on his shoulder before he walks out but not without suggesting, “You really should brighten things up a little in here. Hang some fairy lights or something. Girls love fairy lights.”

 Mike rolls his eyes, not bothering to remind his friend that he only started unpacking half an hour ago, then physically shoves Erwin out of his apartment.

 So, you’re already walking around campus flaunting your new little fling, he thinks. Perfect. He’s really looking forward to seeing that everywhere. 

 Mike eventually has to go by the PKA house for a meeting. Some of the members are already discussing plans for rush week and parties. Should they have lists or just keep them open and direct everyone to the yard? Are they gonna stick to their regular forms of hazing or should they change things up this year? Did anyone stick out from spring? Mike doesn’t pay much attention, just scrolls through his phone skimming through the same three social media apps over and over. He reads through the text thread he shares with you, the one he’s never deleted, and thumbs all the way up to a few months ago just to see if anything had been different back then, if he had said or done something wrong. 

 But, he’s gone through it a dozen times already, and he never finds anything. Maybe you just grew while he was away, experienced some kind of self-actualization that prepared you for an actual relationship. 

 Or, maybe Zeke just has something that Mike doesn’t. 

 *

 Mike runs into you on the second day of classes. Thankfully, you’re alone, and as soon as you catch sight of him, you grin widely and launch yourself at him. It comes as a surprise, your full weight hitting him square in the chest when you jump, and he has to catch you like you’re an excited child.

 It’s too close. You’re too close. Body against his as you slide down to your actual height and rest your head on his chest.

 “I missed you, Zacharias.”

 He wants to lift you up again, lock your thighs around his waist and kiss you like he used to. Instead, Mike pats the top of your head and gently untangles you from himself. He makes sure to smile when you look up at him, and he’s glad you aren’t pouting or frowning, your expression soft when he tells you, “Yeah, I missed you too.”

 He asks how your summer classes went. You ask what his course load is like this semester. It’s just small talk, and Mike hates it. 

 “How’re your parents?” You question like you’re interested, but he can’t imagine you actually are.

 “They’re good,” he shrugs. “Dad got a promotion at work a few weeks ago. Mom is doing the same shit she always does.” Like, making his favorite meals to heal his poor little broken heart. Mike hadn’t even told her about the conversation he’d had with you, and yet, as soon as he came out of his room the following morning, she just knew. 

 “Glad to hear it,” you nod. “Hey, do you wanna grab lunch or something? My next class isn’t til two, so I’m tryin’ to kill some time.”

 “Actually, I told Erwin I’d meet him,” Mike lies through his teeth. He’ll be using excuses like that for as long as he can. “Sorry.”

 “No, it’s cool,” you wave him off. “I’ll just grab Hitch or—”

 “There you are.” Mike stiffens at the vaguely familiar voice ringing out from behind him, hand flexing by his side as the school’s golden boy walks right past him and to you. “I was looking all over for you.”

 “Well, here I am,” you laugh, but Mike notes how forced it sounds. It’s a laugh that stems from nerves, he thinks. But why? Is it because Mike is here? Are you afraid of how he’ll act? Or, is it that you’re still in the phase of this “relationship” with Zeke  that you’re still anxious around him?

 The other man doesn’t even acknowledge Mike for a full twenty seconds. He heavily considers just walking away without a word, but the blond does eventually turn around to look at him and shows a smile that Mike would describe as slimy but you would probably call charming.

 “Zacharias,” Zeke greets and holds out a hand. “It’s been a minute.”

 Mike doesn’t like the way he says his last name. He only likes the way his friends say it. How you say it. Even if it started off as a way to keep your distance, he grew fond of it. Not as fond as his given name, of course, but hearing those four syllables from your mouth, always laced with attitude, never fails to make him smile.

 “Yeah, it has,” Mike agrees, clasping hands with him.

 He immediately feels Zeke stick his index finger out over his wrist, an attempt of taking control of the shake. Mike has seen it too many times to count, the petty attempt to flip hands so that one man’s is on top of the other. It’s a terrible way to flaunt one’s masculinity or power, and it’s never worked on Mike. 

 His hand is quite a bit larger than most people’s, after all. It’s definitely larger than Zeke’s, so when he tries to turn it, Mike doesn’t have a problem keeping his wrist straight. 

 The blond has to look up at him, actually tilt his head back because Mike has a good five inches on him, and after a couple more seconds, Zeke gives up on the pathetic display of dominance. That doesn’t stop Mike from squeezing his palm just a little too hard, though, just enough to see the muscles in Zeke’s jaw twitch. 

 When he lets go he chances a glance at you, finding you rubbing your temples. You mumble something Mike can’t hear, probably about men being stupid because there’s no way that little show escaped your notice. 

 Zeke steps over to you once again and asks the same question you had asked Mike—”You wanna get lunch, babe?” 

 Hearing him calling you that causes Mike’s blood to bubble in his veins, blistering from the inside out. It’s time for him to leave.

 “Yeah, sure,” you nod. Eyes flicking back to Mike, you force another smile and tell him, “See you around.”

 The two of you walk off, and Mike watches for just a little too long as Zeke laces his fingers with yours. Once you’re both a safe distance away, the fucker looks back at Mike from over his shoulder and smirks at him.

 Mike has long legs. He could easily catch up to you and punch Zeke square in the jaw, make his head snap to the side so that he drops to the ground. 

 But, what would you think of that? There’s no way you’d be happy with him, and if there’s one thing that would  be worse than Mike having to see you parade around with someone who isn’t him, it would be you ignoring him completely.

 *

 The first couple of weeks are honestly a blur. Too much is happening for Mike to focus on. The only thing that seems real to him is the ache in his chest. It distracts him day in and day out, through the late rushers and all the sucking up, through the first couple of parties, bid day and the first rounds of hazing. It’s just always there. 

 He is notably quieter when in the house, and it seems like everyone knows why. While Erwin pokes fun at him for his moodiness, Nile takes a more adult approach and simply asks how he’s doing, if he needs anything, going as far as offering, “You need me to punch that dude in the throat? Plant drugs in his bag? I’m pretty sure Gelgar has coke on his person at all times.” 

 He’s a good guy. Mike is glad he got voted in as PKA President this year despite Erwin giving him a run for his money. Nile is just personable enough to bring members in and have a good time at events, and just controlling enough to make sure things in the house are taken care of. Plus, Erwin doesn’t seem too broken up about getting Vice instead.

 It’s a relief when lacrosse starts back up, finally gives him a way to get some of his frustration out. The other teams have never been luckier to be wearing helmets otherwise Mike would have broken several noses within the first game alone. 

 The season has some overlap with baseball, games scheduled on the same day, sometimes at the same time. Mike keeps himself from looking into the stands to try to find you, scared that you’ll be there or scared that you won’t be, he isn’t sure.

 And, of course, Zeke’s face is plastered everywhere after he pitches a perfect fucking game. Mike wants to be angry, wants to spit on the flyers and punch every computer that’s displaying the college’s home screen, but if he’s being honest with himself, he knows that if it were anyone else, Mike would be impressed. Pitching a perfect game is pretty fucking cool, and the school is lucky to have a player as talented as Zeke, but god, what Mike wouldn’t do to just curbstomp him.

 Your name still lights up on his phone fairly often to ask how games went or how his classes are going. You’ve asked for help with homework on one occasion and lunch on another, but after Mike lies about only being able to walk you through the material over the phone and shoots you down for lunch, you seem to get the picture. 

 He doesn’t want it to be awkward between you, but he doesn’t know how to act now. His entire relationship with you started off as a drunken fuck, and it’s been mostly physical since then. How is he supposed to be able to spend time with you without touching you? Even the semester you refused to hook up with him, there were still times when you were both actively fighting the temptation. Mike can remember seeing it in your eyes all the time, probably just as often as you’d see it in his. You’d sit with a leg pressed against his, fall asleep on his arm every once in a while, and he wants that back now, but there’s no way the two of you can do that anymore. He doesn’t possess the same self-control.

 Over the weekend, you end up cracking and trying again, asking for help with studying for a quiz, and Mike has to contemplate it for at least fifteen minutes before he gives in.

 Coffee shop on 7th? you text him, and Mike chuckles to himself. The only places you’ve ever studied together is at the library or in his room, and while he could only get as far as a hand between your legs in the school building, he would usually end up in bed with you whenever going over something behind closed doors. 

 It makes sense that you want to go to a busier place, more eyes to watch you. It’s irritating, but he understands.

 Mike grabs one of his own textbooks from the previous year, the one he actually bought so that he could highlight and take notes in the margins, then makes his way to the little cafe.

 He’s been to this particular shop many times before, with you as well as the girls who came before—the ones that never mattered. Mike easily spots you at a little table by the window, your own book and several papers spread out around you. When you see him, you grin then hurry to clear a space for him, organizing what Mike recognizes as reading guides. 

 “Hey, stranger," you greet.

 Mike nods, eyes landing on the green hoodie you’re wearing, the one that covers too much of you, that spills over the tops of your legging clad thighs and hides your little hands. It’s his, but it’s always looked better on you. The fact that you still wear it makes Mike’s heart swell a tiny bit as he takes his seat. The sun is hitting you just right and making your face glow, making your eyes twinkle, and he doesn’t know if he can do this.

 “So, what d’you need help with?” He prompts before he can make up his mind to turn right back around. 

 You slide one of the guides over to him and point out several circled questions. The blanks are filled in, but you ask him, “Why?” dramatically. “None of that makes sense to me.”

 Mike laughs through his nose and glances at the page your textbook is flipped to so he can open his own.

 “Why’d you keep your book from last year?”

 He glances up before turning it to show the highlighted lines, the starred passages, the little annotations for better understanding. 

 “One, because I worked hard on making it better, and two,” he feels his mouth curl up, the teasing coming naturally when he tells you, “I figured you’d probably benefit from it.”

 You squint at him, scrunching your nose up, and Mike takes a mental snapshot to tuck away. 

 “Rude,” you utter.

 He raises his eyebrows and leans back in his chair. “I think ‘thank you’ is the term you’re looking for.”

 “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just explain this to me if you’re so smart.”

 “You know I’m smart.”

 Mike doesn’t understand where the casual back-and-forth is coming from. Is it easy because he's done it so many times before? Words tumble from his mouth before they actually cross his mind, and he’s both grateful (it’s better than the awkward small talk he thought he’d have to make) and worried. If he’s speaking without actually thinking things through, what else might he do before his brain catches up? Will he smooth hair out of your eyes? Will he brush his hand over yours? Will he stare at your lips for too long? All of those are habits he hasn’t managed to break yet, but he will break if he accidentally offends you by crossing any of these lines.

 He sits with his hands tucked between his legs, only moving to flip a page or point something out with his pinky finger. He's reading upside down, and you're leaning over the tabe, staring at the book then staring at him. Mike tries to look through you instead of at you, but it's hard as you let out a little oh! when something clicks or pouting when it doesn't. 

 "I still don't get it."

 So, Mike finds different ways of explaining things because he knows this information very well now. It's still pretty fresh in his brain, and he may or may not have reviewed some of it when he saw how many of your classes matched up with his. 

 "Okay, I feel a lot better," you sigh once Mike has gone through every page. 

 Mike is more or less sitting on his hands at this point, gritting his teeth behind the grin plastered on his face because this is the part where he asks if you wanna go back to the house. This is the part where you wind down together, watching dumb TV shows or pawing at each other, rolling in his bed and laughing and moaning. That's what's supposed to happen. 

 "Alright, well, if that's it, I should get going," Mike tries, stretching his arms out and nearly smacking the person sitting behind him right in the head. 

 You snort, cover your mouth, and look away. It's what you always do. You can't look at him when you start laughing or you'll just laugh harder and harder, and while Mike adores it, the general public usually does not. 

 But, then Mike is snickering because he can feel the stranger trying to burn holes in the back of his skull, has to bite his fist to keep himself quiet, and when you chance a glance and see, you slam your head down on the table, whole body shaking with giggles. 

 It's always the little things that get you. On one of the walks with Scout over Spring Break, Mike had tripped over a stick on the trail. He managed to catch himself, but Jesus Christ, you didn't stop laughing for ten minutes. 

 "God fucking—" he's starting to lose it too as he stands and gathers your supplies from the table, tucking them all under one arm then using his other to pull you out of your seat. "We have to leave before they make us." 

 You hide your face in your hands, trusting Mike to guide you by the shoulders, and once you're both outside, you belly laugh until you wave your arms and gasp, "I can't—I can't breathe—I can't breathe!" Your voice is all high pitched and hysterical, and all Mike can do is bring you to his chest so that you can let your giggles die off in the privacy of his t-shirt. 

 He can feel your breath through the material as you calm down, eventually looking up and wiping tears from your eyes as you continue to grin. 

 Mike tilts his face down to stare at you, aware that all of his affections are shining right through his eyes, but he doesn't care because you don't seem to. 

 “You’re a fucking dork,” he hums, has a fully conscious thought of touching your face—no accident, no impulse, a complete, coherent, thought, so he does it. He just does it. Palm over your cheek, thumb gently tracing to wipe away another tear from your little fit. 

 You let out a long exhale, close your eyes and hum, then reach up to cover Mike's hand with yours. 

 Your fingers lock into the spaces between his, and you hold on for a few seconds before letting your hand fall, taking his with it. And, just like that, all the good feelings that had grown inside of him over the course of the study session disappear.

 "Miche," you sigh, still holding onto two of his fingers. 

 He smiles in a way that makes you frown, then mumbles, "Yeah, I know."

 After handing your supplies back, Mike kisses you on the top of the head before you can stop him, then turns and starts walking toward the street his apartment is on. 

 *

"Why are you always wearing that hoodie?" 

 You look up from your laptop just as Zeke steps out of his room freshly showered and shirtless. It's a sight that should probably make your mouth water, but instead it's gone dry at his question. 

 "Oh, uh, I don't really know," you bullshit. "It's just big and comfortable, I guess."

 Zeke uses the towel around his neck to dry his hair a little better, questions, "Well, whose is it?" while his face is slightly obscured. 

 If you pause, he'll probably be suspicious. If you answer, he will also be suspicious. And, you can't really blame him. People know you on campus as Mike Zacharias' friend or girlfriend or plaything or whatever. You assume Zeke having to walk around with that hanging over his head is pretty annoying.  

 "Oh, wait," he starts before you can answer. Squinting without his glasses, he grumbles, "That's one of the lacrosse hoodies, isn't it?" 

 You look down at the cracked logo and try not to smile at it. "Yeah. It's one of Mike's old ones."

 "Right." He pads over to you and takes your laptop from your legs despite your protests of being in the middle of an online assignment, setting it on the coffee table behind him. Then, using one arm to brace himself on the back of the couch, Zeke holds himself above you and takes your chin between two fingers so that he can tilt your face and kiss you. 

 It makes you melt. It always does. Your heart beats like a drum in your chest for about two seconds before it relaxes into a subtle thrumming, a white noise that drowns out everything else. 

 You straighten your back in an attempt to get closer, but Zeke pulls away ever so slightly, makes you chase after his lips and you do. You do because you want more, want him. 

 It's been weeks now and the farthest you've gotten with him, the farthest he's let you get with him, was the series of harsh kisses he'd ladened you with up against his front door a few days ago. He'd pushed your shirt up and shoved a knee between your legs, giving you something to grind against, but it never progressed to anything more. 

 You don't understand. It's not like he's never had sex. You've heard girls talk about him on campus, how he'd been seeing so-and-so for a couple months in freshman year, fucked some other chick at a party, etc., etc. 

 Then you'd met his actual ex the other day, one he dated officially for a semester last year before breaking things off. Her name is Rhi. She's very pretty. And, she had pulled Zeke into a full blown conversation without looking at you once. The way she batted her eyes and smiled at him, twisting her hair and shoving at him playfully—Oh yeah. She's definitely seen him naked. 

 You didn't say anything about it for a while, just stewed in silence until Zeke finally sighed and asked, "What would you like to know?" 

 He'd given you the vague outline—met her in class, studied together, decided to date, left her to focus on baseball. That excuse hit a little too close to home, but you'd let it roll off your shoulders. 

 The point is Zeke has fucked other girls, but he won't fuck you, and you need to know why because you're starting to get desperate. It's not a good look. It's one you never wanted to wear, but the way he stares at you and the way he talks to you, always pointing out your strengths, encouraging you, complimenting you is intoxicating.

 When Zeke's eyes are on you, it’s like you're the most important person in the room. He has some ability to make you feel that way, to make everyone feel that way you realized one night after a game. People flock to him. They want to listen to what he has to say. They want to agree with him where he can see. 

 It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't met him, but the best way you can describe it (a way only a few people will understand) is that he has a twenty for charisma. He's talented and smart and engaging, can convince anyone of anything the same way he's convinced you that he wants you. 

 Hand slipping behind your arching back, Zeke presses you against him for just a moment, then drops onto the couch next to you only to tug you on top of him. 

 You're already breathing too heavily, clutching his face in both your hands as you grind your hips against his. He squeezes your ass, smirking against your mouth when you whimper, then moves his hands to push both the hoodie and your shirt off. 

 You lift your arms, letting Zeke strip you as your mind grows hazy. He mutters more to himself than to you, a low, "Get this shit off," then carelessly tosses your clothes over the armrest. 

 Fingers climb up your ribs, almost tickling, making you squirm in his lap. You can feel that he's getting hard, thank god. This just might be the night, please fucking let it be. 

 You've never been a big fan of terms like ‘blue-balls’ or ‘blue-bean’, never even thought it existed, and it really doesn't; it's just a form of manipulation, of guilting your partner into sex, and you know this because you've had an entire rant about it prepared since high school, but right now, in this particular moment, you're aching. Your insides ache. Your clit aches. You just want—

 Zeke pinches one of your nipples hard enough to clear your head for a second, causes you to cry out and pull back. He lets go, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he watches you and flicks over the sore bud with a fingertip. 

 "Zeke," you breathe, body trembling. 

 "What is it, baby?" He coos. 

 "I—"

 He snakes a hand between the two of you, ridding you of any and all thoughts as he rubs over your covered pussy. You're almost positive that if he keeps doing it, you'll start to leak through your leggings, right into his hand. 

 Panting, an old track plays in the back of your head, a deep voice, breathy and promising, gonna fuck you dry tonight.

 You lean forward to kiss Zeke again, letting him suck and bite hard enough to make the frown on your face look natural, like he put it there. 

 Flames are licking up and down your legs, then your arms, but even though it's Zeke's lap you're sitting in and Zeke's tongue in your mouth and Zeke's fingers massaging your pussy, it's suddenly Mike you're thinking about, and well… That can't be good. 

 You tangle your hands in Zeke's hair, the different texture bringing you back to reality. His thick beard is scratching against your face. His bare torso is wiry with muscle and pressed to yours. He moves his hand and raises his hips to meet yours, a groan catching in his throat. It looks like he's finally losing his composure, cheeks flushed, eyes are foggy. When you break away, he licks away the string of spit holding you together, tongue running over his lip seductively.

 "Can we—" you start, but Zeke speaks at the same time. 

 "It's getting late."

 Blinking at him, you find yourself experiencing too many emotions to actually identify a single one. You feel your eyebrows knit together, but it’s more from your confusion than it is your frustration. 

 But, you don’t want to be frustrated. You don’t want to be or look upset about not getting sex. That would make you a terrible person, and you’re not about to make him feel bad for not being ready to take that step with you. You’ve been on the receiving end of that, and it doesn’t feel good.

 The amount of times you’ve had to masturbate in the last few weeks is a little fucking ridiculous, though. 

 Nodding mostly to yourself to get your thoughts back in line, you slide off of Zeke to stand up. Your hand is trembling when you reach for your clothes, heat still coursing through you, but you manage to gently grab them from the couch rather than snatch them. 

 Shirt and hoodie back in place, you gather your things, feeling Zeke’s gaze on you the entire time. You don’t say anything, just nibble on your bottom lip as you run over all the events that took place over the night, what you possibly did wrong, what turned him off or just failed to turn him on in the first place. 

 After slipping everything back into your bag, Zeke finally gets to his feet and takes it from you, walking with you outside to your car. 

 “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he tells you, the picture of calm and collected while your body remains buzzing.

 “Okay, yeah.” 

 He puts your stuff in the front passenger seat, shuts the door, and gives you a sweet little peck that you wish lasted longer.

 Zeke says good night, begins walking back to the building, but stops and calls to you right before you shrink into the car. 

 Even from this distance, you can tell he’s looking you dead in the eye, face suddenly very serious when he tells you, “You can go ahead and stop wearing that hoodie.”

* For the first time since the semester started, lacrosse and baseball games do not overlap one another, and you're able to spend the warm afternoon in the stands, cheering on the friends you made over the last year. 

 The home team is dominating, Mike and Erwin are too fucking quick for their opponents to get in the way of. The way the ball just flies back and forth between them, like a game of keep-away, shows just how on-the-same-page they are. The other guys are good too, doing a spectacular job of staying one leg ahead, defending their star players and assisting in the offensive effort. 

 The last goal is made by Mike who launches the ball from the center of the field right into the goal, and both the crowd and the teams lose their fucking minds. 

 You're up on your feet screaming and clapping, voice breaking as your shrill cry tears your throat. You know you're being drowned out by everyone around you, but as Mike gets lauded for being the god he is—putting up with backslaps and hugs and a headlock from Erwin—he still manages to find you in the second row, grinning in that crooked way you love so much. 

 You don't know exactly when that started happening, probably sometime after Spring break. Or, maybe it was there since the beginning, just laying dormant at the back of your head so that you could focus on denying him. 

 It doesn't really matter now since you're actually with someone. That someone isn't around right now, but he's in your thoughts as your chest fills with affection and pride for your friend. 

 Erwin is shouting about another open party, and your mind is made up to not attend because Zeke wouldn't appreciate it, but then Mike is suddenly lifting himself onto the raised, concrete stands and pointing at you, and before you know it, you're hopping down the next bleacher without a care for the fans who have to lean out of the way. 

 He's incredibly sweaty as you wrap your arms around his neck, but you don't mind. You were so convinced he would be mad at you or try to avoid you. 

 You're very aware that you had hurt him by getting with Zeke, and while he had been pretty guarded for the first few weeks, he's opened up some since that day in the coffee shop, when you'd nearly giggled yourself to death. You hadn't expected that to be what cracked his walls, especially considering how that visit had ended, but you're glad that it did. 

 "Haven't seen you cheering for me in a while," Mike laughs next to your ear. 

 He's dizzy with adrenaline, swaying back and forth as he squeezes you, and you tell him, "If you make us fall, I will beat you up, I swear." 

 "Okay," he says in a stupid voice of obvious disbelief, "Whatever you say." 

 You've been texting more, going over homework together, though you haven't needed his help in-person since he had switched books with you that day. It had been so smooth and subtle, you didn't realize until you opened it to study the following day, immediately noticing all the notes and highlights. 

 It had made you cry like a little bitch in the middle of your dorm, and you called Mike to thank him without bothering to hide your tears and hiccups. 

 "Come to the party tonight," he demands, but it's so soft, like he's still giving you a chance to say no. 

 The crowd is still yelling, so you have to keep speaking into each other's ears, and you ask, "Why? All the Pike parties are sticky and gross."

 "'Cause we haven't gotten drunk together in a while," Mike states in the form of a whine. 

 You snort, feeling his hair dripping onto your shoulder. You should probably be disgusted, but it's not the first time you've gotten sweaty with him, and it's definitely not the worst bodily fluid he's made a mess on you with. 

 "You know what happens when we get drunk together," you remind him with a smile he can't see. "Can't do that anymore."

 "I promise I'll behave."

 That's not the problem. You don't know if you can behave. You've been wound up for over a month now, and it is driving you insane. No matter how many times you get off alone in your room at night, you still ache as if you're being edged. 

 So, getting fucked up with someone you know for a fact can fuck you stupid… probably not the best idea. 

 "Miche," you protest, drawing his name out. 

 "Just think about it."

 He leaves you with that, hopping down and walking away with his arms in the air as everyone surrounding you cheers for him until he disappears. You just stand there amidst the noise, shirt now wet as you contemplate the pros and cons of going to another PKA party. 

 As always, Zeke asks what your plans are for the night, but for the first time since you met him, you lie. * King's Cup and Rage Cage and Beer Pong galore. Party-goers are pooling onto the lawn, and you're just waiting for campus police to show because of the chaos, but you're not necessarily scared of it. So you go to jail for a couple days. Worse things could happen. 

 Currently, you and Mike are sitting on the sidewalk nursing beers and giggling at the new pledges who keep running around the house in less and less clothes. 

 "Honestly, this isn't that bad," Mike tells you. "Erwin suggested we make them all watch snuff together."

 You give him an incredulous look as you raise the glass bottle to your mouth. "Erwin is a god damn psychopath, what the fuck."

 "We had to do it and didn't turn out too bad."

 "And, just like that, I'm scared of you."

 Mike laughs before sticking two fingers in his mouth and whistling as a brawny blond speeds past in nothing but boxers—Reiner, you think his name is. 

 There are only a few new guys who stick out to you—that one, a long-faced kid named Jean, freckle boy Marco, and, naturally, Zeke's younger brother, Eren. He sorta skeeves you out, so you've been doing your best to stay out of his sight despite never formally meeting him before. 

 "Kid's kind of a prick, a little too cocky. Always talking about how he's related to Zeke, or should I say your lo-ver," Mike chuckles, sounding amused, but he still downs the rest of his beer afterward. 

 You let out a little growl, just drunk enough to be too honest, and grumble, "Not my lover. Also, I would never use that term. So cringey."

 "What do you mean?"

 "I mean it's weird and dramat—"

 "No," Mike cuts you off, "What do you mean about him not being that?"

 You fall back on the concrete, bumping the back of your head a little too hard and scrunching your face up. 

 "We haven't had sex. The dude just will not fuck me for some reason."

 "Are you serious?" 

 You glance at Mike and find his eyes wide in alarm. 

 "As a heart attack. I have never been so frustrated in my entire life." 

 You probably shouldn't be talking about this with him, one, because you assume it's like twisting a knife right in Mike's gut and two, because the more you drink, the less self-control you have. 

 He grunts then tosses his bottle into the yard for some poor pledge to slip on. 

 "His loss."

 "Whatever. I'm sure he'll come around eventually," you sigh then sit back up. "And, until then, I guess I'm practicing celibacy or some shit."

 Mike laughs hard at that, and it makes you smack him on the arm. "Yeah, good luck with that."

 "Shut up."

 "I'm just saying," he raises his hands. "You're, like, the neediest person I know."

 "Excuse the fuck outta me?" 

 "In the bedroom, dummy. Obviously not all the time."

 This is not at all where you wanted this conversation to go. The more you think about it, the more you feel that ache, the more you want to quell it. 

 "We should change the subject."

 Mike looks at you, flipping hair out of his eyes and smiling like the cocky frat boy he pretends to be. 

 "Why? Gettin' all worked up."

 "You are literally the worst."

 You stand and finish your drink, throwing it a few feet away from Mike's as you tell him, "I need to get a little more fucked up if I'm gonna deal with your ass all night."

 "Uh huh."

 He follows you back inside, but while you make your way into the kitchen, Mike stops to talk with Erwin about one thing or another. It means he has to entertain the masses, talk about the game, and you post up against a wall to watch him. 

 You should leave. Mike is looking a little too attractive in his stupid fucking pastel polo, and you're supposed to meet Zeke for lunch tomorrow anyway. Zeke, your boyfriend. 

 Or, well, he hasn't said it explicitly, but you hold hands in public and ignore other people, just make it obvious that both of you aren't interested in anyone else. 

 Except when Mike sidles up to you with foggy eyes and a smirk he hasn't worn around you in a long time, you groan at the thought that you are interested in someone else. Even if it's just one night, god, you need it so bad. And, you know Mike can give it to you. Exactly the way you want it. 

 It's Zeke's fault, really. You know he knows how desperate you're getting. If he'd just explain why he doesn't want to have sex, you could deal with it much better than you are now, but he continues to leave you in the dark. It makes you think you're doing something wrong. 

 Then, there's the problem of feeling like the shittiest person alive every time you get frustrated. You've spent nights trying to rationalize it, but it's hard to think straight when you're so, undeniably horny. 

 "Don't look at me like that," you tell Mike with a scoff. 

 "Why not?" 

 "'Cause you said you'd behave tonight."

 He cocks his head to the side and makes a face. "Did I? That doesn't sound like something I'd say to you."

 "Oh my god, you're impossible. And, drunk."

 "I'm not really that drunk," he waves you off. "It takes more than a few beers to get me fucked up, remember? Downfall of being this large."

 Jesus, he really is rubbing it in your face now. Wide with muscle and so fucking tall. Not to mention his—

 "I really cannot do this, Miche," you try again, gritting your teeth when his pupils dilate. "Zeke would be so pissed."

 "So? Come on, just one more time. I didn't know the last time would be the last time."

 You hadn't either. You don't know what you would have done differently had you known—maybe just taken the time to appreciate his incredible body more—but it doesn't matter now. 

 You try to sound firm and irritated when you snap, "You know you're being kinda manipulative, right?" 

 Mike tilts his head back as if you just shoved it, blinks a couple times, then swears out loud. "Oh, fuck." He takes a step away, eyes clear for the first time in several minutes. "I'm sorry. I didn't even—"

 "It's fine," you wave. "I just wanted you to know. I'm drunk and you're hot, and I don't wanna fuck things up with Zeke."

 "Yeah, I get it. Fuck. If you, like, wanna leave, I won't stop you. It was a joke, and then it wasn’t a joke and—That was a shit thing to do."

 "Little bit, but you get a pass this time," you laugh through your nose. "Just don't go pulling that bullshit on some unsuspecting freshman or anything." 

 He runs a hand through his hair, red with embarrassment, and you think to yourself, Mike is a good guy. One of the best. You don't know of many who would take that kind of criticism to heart—how many would feel genuinely guilty. It is college, and every girl knows the trend of fratty sports players getting off scot-free after being charged with sexual assault. Given his status at the school, Mike could definitely do something like that and get away with it.

 But, he would never. 

 You push him gently to show you aren't mad, tell him, "I still wanna hang out with you. We don't get to as much as we used to."

 Mike's small smile looks relieved as he takes a deep breath. "This isn't exactly the best place to just chill, but—"

 "I haven't seen your new apartment yet." 

 You regret it as soon as it comes out of your mouth, your little tune changing ridiculously quickly, but you can't deny that you're curious. He's still your best friend, and you want to know what he's done with his new place. Is it bland like his old room in the house, or did he let his real personality show through? 

 "You sure?" He questions. 

 "Yeah. We can just, like, play video games or something."

 "Are you sure?" 

 He must feel terrible. You can relate.

 "If you don't want me over, just say so," you snort. 

 "No, no, of course I do. I just don't want you to feel weird about being alone or anything."

 "Nah, like you said, you're not really drunk. I'll sober up with water. We'll be fine."

 You don't know if you're trying to convince him or yourself. Without the presence of alcohol, you should be able to keep it together, and the distraction of Zelda or Mario will surely help. 

 "Okay, yeah," Mike nods. "Let's go then."

You don't even bother finishing your drink, just set it on a countertop and follow him out to his Wrangler. It's been a while since you've ridden in it. It's been a while since you've ridden him, your brain helpfully supplies, and as you pull up to the unfamiliar apartment complex, you once again begin to think that this was a bad idea.

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