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#BITCHES GUESS WHAT I WATCHED LAST NIGHT
joyridingmp3 · 1 year
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oh summertime we're really in it now
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zackcollins · 2 years
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A Real Head Scratcher || TOR vs BOS || 07/22/22
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everyonewooeverywhere · 3 months
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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ farmhand!mingyu x farmer's daughter!reader
note ✭ this is very much inspired by the mingyu pictured above. (also i don't mention it explicitly, but girly's family is lowkey rich)
synopsis ✭ when your dad hires a hot new farm hand, you can't keep your hands off of him.
content/genre ✭ smut (18+ mdni)
word count ✭ 2.9k
warnings ✭ smut, mingyu and reader are horny af, outside sex (no one else sees them though), no prep, overall horny shenanigans i guess 🤷‍♀️, alcohol consumption, tipsy sex (they're not depicted as drunk, but they did have a couple drinks)
✭✭✭✭
Every time your father hired a new farmhand, they were always the same. While they never disappointed in the build department (they were always jacked, but that was kind of a requirement of the job), but they all looked identical. They wore the same brown scuffed boots. They had their hair in the same floppy cut with the same dirty blonde color. 
For a couple of summers through your teens, it had been fun. Your father would hire him after the final school bell rang for the summer. You’d introduce yourself to him when your father was nowhere in sight, and you’d spend the rest of the summer sneaking around with him and having your fun. When summer finally ended and school began, you’d bid him farewell and never speak to him again, and your father was none the wiser.
And it was fun! The first two times. Then every summer turned the same, and every single farm hand looked indistinguishable from the last with no discernible personality whatsoever. 
So, having just finished your second year of university, you were expecting more of the same. You’d have a gander, but you certainly weren’t expecting much from whoever your dad decided to hire this summer. 
“God, why couldn’t you have invited me to stay over at your house this summer? I’d take whatever hunk your dad decided to keep,” your best friend from school, Jennifer, whined over the phone as you pulled your car up the long driveway to your house.
“I did invite you, but you’re spending you’re leaving today for Spain, remember?”
“Yes, but y/n!” she whined again, “I need more muscly men in my life. This would be the perfect opportunity.”
“You’re gonna be in Spain for two months. I’m sure you’ll find at least one man muscular enough to fit your standard.”
“Yeah, whatever. You better have fun with this man without me.”
“Like I told you earlier, they’re so fucking boring. It’s not gonna happen.”
You put your car in park and began to gather up your purse and phone when you glanced up out the windshield to see probably the most attractive man you’ve ever seen in your life walking out your front door and toward your car. It was as if your severe doubts had summoned him.
Ever the chatterbox, Jennifer kept talking, “Well I’m just saying maybe you should keep an open mind. You never know what could happen. One magical night in the woods and you could be locked down for life. It’s just–”
“Jennie shut the fuck up.”
“Woah,” she seemed mildly offended, “sorry?”
“He’s hot Jennie. Like really hot. Not even a ten. Probably a twelve.”
“Ugh, you lucky bitch! I told you to keep an open mind,” you could hear her mother yelling at her in the background, “Oh shit. Girl, I have to go, but send pics! Please! I need to see the hunk you’re railing this summer.”
“Yeah, of course,” you mumbled while she hung up on you.
This man was really throwing you for a loop. Just based on appearance alone you could tell he was not the type of guy your dad usually hired. First and foremost, he was massive. Well over 6 feet tall and far more muscular than any guy you’d ever seen (and that was saying something), and the skin-tight black t-shirt he was wearing did nothing to hide it. His hair was dark and cropped, a far cry from the endless supply of shaggy blonde hairstyles you’d seen over the years. 
The cherry on top was when, after watching you stumble out of the car, he’d asked, “Where’s your luggage? I thought I’d help you carry it inside.”
“Oh,” you let out an awkward laugh, “It’s in the trunk. Thank you.”
“Of course,” he followed you around the back of your car and popped open the trunk, “I’m Mingyu by the way.” He stuck out a hand for you to shake it.
You grabbed the hand and he shook it with a firm squeeze. Holy fuck he has nice hands. “Y/n. It’s great to meet you Mingyu.”
There was no hiding the way you gawked at the way his muscles flexed when he carried your stuff inside.
✭✭✭✭
The idea of returning to your old ways was honestly exciting for you. Last night over Facetime Jennifer had gotten the whole rundown of your brief interaction with Mingyu. You fawned over his muscles, his cute lisp and the way he’d been such a gentleman to help you carry your luggage after what you assumed was a long day of work. 
She’d found his Instagram of course and found out that he was indeed just as attractive as you’d described (and he had cute friends too). 
This morning you felt more than ready to kick off what you predicted to be a great summer. And you weren’t starting slow either. You knew the routine of your father’s farmhands enough to know that Mingyu would start the day mowing the lawn around your house. He’d usually start later on Saturdays (today), too. Meaning that if you got out there by 10 am, he’d probably still be working his way around the lawn. Hopeful by the pool.
Which, by complete coincidence, is where you were. Laid out in your favorite bikini by the water. The dark sunglasses covering your eyes meant that your eyes were completely hidden, but it was obvious where you were looking. 
Not far from the pool, you could see Mingyu pushing the lawn mower through the grass of your backyard. The tight black t-shirt from yesterday was no more. Instead, he wore a white tank top that left his arms completely exposed. He glanced over at you a couple of times, but he never let his gaze linger long enough for you.
You watched him from your laid-out position in your pool chair for a good fifteen minutes before he disappeared into the shed, presumably to put the lawnmower away. While he was inside, you took a moment to stand and dip your toes in the water thoroughly enjoying the coolness of the water. It was nice, you had to admit, but you’d have to save that for later because, while you were distracted by the water, Mingyu had made his way to the fence that separated your pool from the rest of the yard. 
It was only when he cleared his throat that you noticed him standing there, leaning against the fence smiling at you with an eyebrow raised.
“Do you normally spend your mornings checking out your dad’s employees?” God his voice.
You stepped out of the pool, “Only when I think they’re worth my time.” You slid your sunglasses off your face and onto the top of your head as you approached the fence where Mingyu was standing.
“Charming. I’m assuming he hasn’t the slightest idea what you get up to, then?”
You laughed, “Of course not. I’m good at keeping secrets.”
“I’m sure you are.”
“So…” you brushed his forearm with the tips of your fingers, “What time do you get done?” You knew the answer of course, but it felt polite to ask.
“Seven thirty. Why? Hoping to get me alone?” He smirked
“I wouldn’t mind it.” You bit your lip as you no-so-subtly checked him out for the millionth time, “Meet me behind the shed at seven forty-five, ok? Don’t be late. I’ll bring booze.”
✭✭✭✭
Part of you wondered if he’d be there when you snuck out of your house at eight-fifteen. Yes, you were late, but that was part of the game. Your parents always went to bed early, and you were an adult. So getting out of the house unnoticed was no issue at all. If your dad noticed the six-pack missing from the garage fridge, you could just tell him you drank it or you could feign complete innocence. 
The weather was still warm despite it being completely dark outside, so your athletic shorts and oversized tee did just fine. You’d contemplated wearing a skirt but ultimately decided against it because you didn’t want him to think you’d give it up that easily. Even though you were already struggling greatly to contain your excitement.
He could hear the clinking of the glass beer bottles as you made your way to the shed through the freshly cut yard. As much as Mingyu would love to deny it, he hadn’t stopped thinking about you since this morning. Something about the way you were laid out in the sun this morning had left a permanent imprint on his mind. The secrecy of the situation was also incredibly appealing. It turned him on more than he’d like to admit, messing around with his boss’s incredibly hot daughter.
Mingyu wasn’t an idiot. He knew you were taking your sweet time on purpose. You’d made him wait half an hour just to see if he’d wait around for you that long. You wanted to see how bad he wanted it, and clearly, he wanted it pretty bad because you found him sitting on the bench behind the shed staring up at the stars.
“Sorry, I’m late.”
He laughed, “Sure you are.” He held out a hand.
You passed him a bottle as you sat down next to him.
“I thought maybe you’d changed your mind, but it seems you just enjoy the idea of making people wait for you.”
“Maybe,” you turned so your knees just barely brushed his thigh, “But you waited for me didn’t you?”
“Hey, maybe I just wanted free beer.” He gestured to the bottle in his hand.
“I know for a fact my dad pays you enough for you to afford your own beer.”
He laughed and leaned his head back against the shed, giving you a full view of his neck. You couldn’t help but imagine kissing his neck, leaving plenty of marks in your wake. “He sure does. It’s one of the many benefits.”
“What else do you like about the job?” You were genuinely curious about what was so appealing about doing nothing but manual labor for an entire summer. Even if the paycheck was really good.
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Gets me off my ass. Gives me something to do with my hands.”
“Oh? You good with your hands?”
“You just don’t let up do you?” He really did enjoy how insistent you were despite your attempts to make him pine after you by making him wait for you so long. 
“Not unless I’m asked to.”
You ended up talking with Mingyu for two hours. The two of you drank and talked about your lives, school, home, past flings, and relationships. By the time you two of you had finished off the six-pack you’d brought out, you felt as if you’d been out there forever. 
At some point, you’d put your legs over his lap. He caressed one of your calves with one hand while you played with the fingers of his other hand.
As much as you’d enjoyed this little conversation, the more you drank, the hotter he got, and you were hardly holding it together anymore. With every move of his hand on your calf, you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter.
You took the hand that was already in yours and placed it on your cheek, “Mingyu…” you whined looking up at him.
“What, baby?” his thumb stroked your cheek.
You straddled his lap, sitting back on his thighs and moving down his neck and to his chest, “can we stop talking for a little bit?”
“Oh?” he questioned, lightly placing his hand on your lower back under your shirt, “What do you suppose we do instead?”
“Can I kiss you?” You asked leaning further into him so that your chests were touching.
“You can do whatever you want, baby.”
That was all the confirmation you needed to lean completely into him and kiss him. The kiss was long and more passionate than any kiss you’d experienced from your past summer flings. His hands were on your ass, pulling you to hover over his crotch where you could obviously tell he was hard. And that would have made you smug if you hadn’t been sitting in your own arousal for at least an hour. 
You kissed down his neck just like you had previously imagined. He let out a deep moan with every mark and bite you made. You had failed to realize that one of his hands had left your ass until you felt a hand brush over your completely clothed pussy.
“Baby, as much as I love these cute little shorts, can I take them off of you?”
Nodding furiously, you leaned back, pulled yourself off of his lap and pulled off your shorts and shirt, setting them on the bench beside him. Of course, you weren’t wearing a bra, something Mingyu had noticed almost immediately when you’d sat down beside him. Before you made your way back to his lap, you reached for the hem of that stupid, useless white tank top that covered virtually nothing. You pulled it over his head with ease. 
“Wow–” you whispered.
He laughed and pulled you back into his lap, “As flattered as I am,” he ran a hand up your side, “I could say the same thing about you.”  
Before you could even think about how to respond Mingyu’s face was in your chest, feverishly placing kisses on your tits. He grabbed one with his hand and rolled the nipple between his fingers.
You gripped onto his hair and moaned softly. Your hips rolled over his clothed dick multiple times before he finally shucked off his jeans which had become uncomfortably tight. 
“Can I please fuck you now?” he asked.
“Please,” you begged completely forgoing the chance to tease him for his politeness.
You pulled down the waistband of his boxers and grabbed him. Running a thumb over the tip, you pulled his cock out and pumped it a couple of times. “God, baby. You better hurry up.”
He slid your panties to the side and ran a finger between your folds, “you sure you don’t want me to prep you?”
You shook your head. So much for making him wait. “I’ll be ok. I don’t think I can wait any longer.”
He nodded and reached to grab a condom from his pocket. Of course, he’d come prepared. When he failed to open it fast enough, you snatched it out of his hands and ripped it open with your own teeth. You rolled it onto him after what felt like an agonizingly long amount of time. 
He positioned himself at your entrance and slid himself into you with relative ease. You threw your head back when he bottomed out. You covered your mouth in an attempt to keep yourself at least a little quiet. 
“F-fuck, Mingyu!”
“Shit, you’re so tight,” he grunted out, “I’m gonna need you to move, baby. Can you do that for me?” 
You nodded and gripped onto his shoulder. As you started bouncing up and down on his cock, he buried his face back in your chest, kissing and biting at your tits, collarbone, and neck. He left plenty of marks on your chest that were identical to the ones you’d left on his neck, maybe even darker. You had brought your own hand to your clit. Desperately trying to find your release. 
“Oh god Gyu, I’m so close,” you grabbed onto his hair.
He hissed from the stinging in his scalp, “Me too, angel, me too.” His face was in your neck when you’d finally reached your climax, and he followed immediately after.
You both sat there, chests heaving, for a couple of minutes, saying nothing.
“Wow,” was all he could say as he pulled you off his lap and helped you put your clothes back on, tossing the condom into the trash bin beside the bench. You made a mental note to take the trash out before your dad came out here tomorrow.
You laughed breathily, “You’re not so bad yourself.” 
He grabbed your wrist and pulled you into him. Your hands found their way to his chest instinctively. “Can I see you tomorrow night?”
“Oh, was that not enough for you?”
“God, no, that was perfect. But I wanna take care of you for real next time.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“I have a truck,” he nodded toward the red pickup truck in your driveway, “I can drive it down to the creek. The bed of the truck is actually pretty comfy when you put blankets and pillows down.”
Laughing, you said, “You want to fuck me in the woods.” He shook his head, “I wanna eat you out in the woods.”
God, this was gonna be a fun summer.
✭✭✭✭
“Girl, what!? It’s only been a day?” Jennifer’s voice rang through the phone. “Was it good?’
“For outside bench sex? Yeah, it was great. We’re seeing each other tomorrow night.”
She groaned, “Ugh, you lucky bitch. I’m so jealous.”
“What? No Spanish hunks?”
She shook her head, “not yet. But I’m hopeful!” 
“Do you still want updates, or are you gonna explode from jealousy?”
“No! Please keep me updated. I’m living vicariously through you.”
You laughed, “God you’re insufferable.”
“I know!” She batted her eyelashes at you, “You will keep me updated though, right.”
“Of course, how could I not.”
✭✭✭✭
thank you for reading! i knocked this shit out in two days (and you can probably tell 👀), but i'm genuinely surprised with myself.
anyway hope you enjoyed. reblog and like if you did! love hearing your thoughts
mwah~
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tinycoffeeroom · 7 days
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café de paris | max verstappen
face claim: none ᡣ𐭩
request: here !
a/n: all french / dutch is google translated blame them if it's wrong! race order is completely random here !
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📍café de paris, monaco
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liked by bffstagram, friend1 and 294 others
y/nstagram me 🤝 café de paris
bffstagram bro those croissants look Fire ↳ y/nstagram my main source of sustenance in these hard monaco streets!
friend1 i have yet to see evidence of you shaking ass on a yacht miss y/n!! ↳ bffstagram so real... we're meant to be living vicariously through you!!! ↳ y/nstagram student finance doesn't stretch to yacht ass shaking, i can barely afford my daily caffeine fix 😭
friend2 oui oui hon baguette how is france? ↳ y/nstagram never let a monagesque hear you say that,,, bro i can't fight ↳ friend2 🫡 ... how is monaco?* ↳ y/nstagram 🫡 it's good!! def happy i chose here over france, even if my wallet doesn't agree 😭 ↳ friend2 we feeling fluent yet? ↳ y/nstagram oh god no, the other day this poor old lady tried explaining how to find the art museum to me and i just stared at her like 😶
friend3 spotted any f1 hotties yet? i hear they all camp out in monaco 👀 ↳ y/nstagram considering i have never watched a Single f1 race i couldn't tell you HAHAH i'm sure they're around here somewhere though ↳ friend3 dude i told you to brush up on f1 😭 how am i supposed to come visit you and have a meet cute with mr lando norris if you don't do your RESEARCH ↳ y/nstagram damn i see how it is,,, using me to get to your vroom vroom men,,,
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3 weeks later
📍café de paris, monaco
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👤 alexandrasaintmleux liked by bffstagram, alexandrasaintmleux and 270 others
y/nstagram finally found someone else to join my café de paris obsession 🥐
bffstagram next bff sweetie run while you can... ↳ y/nstagram stop scaring the pretty bitches off damn 😔 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux bffstagram she won't let me leave 😭 ↳ y/nstagram i deserve better friends ↳ bffstagram you couldn't live without us xx ♥️ y/nstagram
alexandrasaintmleux la prochaine fois, nous irons au casino ! (next time, we go to the casino!) ↳ y/nstagram finance étudiante a dit non (student finance said no) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux 😔 s'il tu plait... pour moi? 🥺 (please... for me?) ↳ y/nstagram pray for my wallet guys...
friend3 wdym you just casually befriended The Alexandra Saint Mleux??? ↳ y/nstagram i thought her skirt was pretty and had no idea she was like famous 😭 then we just kept running into each other !! ↳ friend3 i need to fly out to monaco damn you can't even see her in the pic but ik she looked So pretty... ↳ alexandrasaintmleux i like your friends y/n :p ↳ y/nstagram just wait til you see them drunk,,,
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📍 jimmy'z, monaco
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👤 alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris liked by alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris and 2,962 others
y/nstagram started the night in a night club and ended on a yacht,,, just monaco things (apparently) 🛥️
friend3 y/n if you don't answer my texts RIGHT NOW !!!! ↳ y/nstagram 😉 any reason ml? ↳ friend3 i'm gonna swim to monaco and bite chunks out of your ankles what the FUCK ??? when were you gonna tell me you were just casually hanging with [REDACTED] ↳ landonorris i'm guessing i'm redacted? 😎 ↳ friend3 i need to go lie down ↳ y/nstagram landonorris dude 😭 ↳ landonorris was it something i said? 😉
alexandrasaintmleux meilleure amie 💗 (best friend) ↳ y/nstagram merci de m'avoir invitée ! je t'aime ! (thank you for inviting me! love you!)
maxverstappen1 was lovely meeting you last night schat x ↳ y/nstagram you too max! don't forget to send me those pics of the kids! x ↳ bffstagram kids? ↳ y/nstagram his cats! jimmy and sassy! 🐱❤️🐱 ↳ bffstagram your knack for finding cat people never fails to impress me ♥️ y/nstagram
danielricciardo dude my liver actually hurts... ↳ y/nstagram hey you're the one who suggested a drinking contest ↳ danielricciardo yeah because i normally WIN you freak ↳ y/nstagram i'm a broke uni student, my drink of choice is normally vodka so cheap it's legally paint stripper
georgerussell63 carmen's phone died but she said to remind you about brunch today ↳ y/nstagram on it!! alex is gonna come round and bring me 😊
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 2,938 others
y/nstagram met some VIC's (very important cats) today! 🐱 also f's in chat for my café de paris 😔
bffstagram f ↳ danielricciardo f ↳ georgerussell63 f ↳ landonorris f ↳ carmenmmundt f ↳ alexandrasaintmleux f ↳ maxverstappen1 f
friend3 babies!! the second pic oh i could cry ↳ y/nstagram she slept there for like 3 hours 😭 managed to actually sit through a whole gp though so a wins a win! ↳ friend3 y/n watching f1?? who is she?? ↳ y/nstagram their dad forced me 💔 ↳ maxverstappen1 um who cheered so loud when i won that she woke poor sassy up?? ↳ y/nstagram 🤐
charles_leclerc i didn't know café de paris do takeout? ↳ maxverstappen1 they do if you're me :) ↳ y/nstagram the only reason i'm considering keeping him around 😉 ↳ alexandrasaintmleux charles_leclerc and why have you never used your influence to get ME takeout café de paris "prince of monaco" ↳ charles_leclerc look what you've done... y/nstagram ♥️ y/nstagram
fan they're definitely max's cats but who is she? ↳ fan she knows alexandra so maybe they're in the same friendship group??
3 months later
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liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 308 others
y/nstagram working hard or hardly working 🌸
alexandrasaintmleux quand avez-vous passé votre examen ? (when's your exam?) ↳ y/nstagram lundi prochain,,, mon ami du café me manque 😔 (next monday,,, missing my cafe friend) ↳ alexandrasaintmleux nous fêterons cela quand tu auras terminé 💗 (we'll celebrate when you're finished)
bffstagram the red bulls... i wait 3 years white man does it in one week ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ y/nstagram hey! made him wait at least 2 months :p
friend3 the f1 book.. one of us one of us!! ↳ y/nstagram apparently i can't keep saying "the one with the red cow on it" when talking about his car,,, ↳ maxverstappen1 its a bull... literally a red bull... ↳ y/nstagram blah blah blah it's red and goes moo ↳ maxverstappen1 everyday i wake up to such disrespect ↳ charles_leclerc i'm just glad someone's keeping your ego in check ♥️ y/nstagram
friend1 when are you coming back to england :( ↳ y/nstagram i'm hoping to come visit next month! ↳ maxverstappen1 about that...
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📍 jeddah, saudi arabia
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👤 redbullracing, mine liked by redbullracing, y/nstagram and 1,928,385 others
maxverstappen1 First P1 of the season at the first race! Always grateful to stand on that top podium, especially today 🙂
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fan sorry WHO is that in the third pic????
fan bro soft launching on a race win post...
y/nstagram trots op jou ❤️ proud of you ♥️ maxverstappen1 ↳ fan 🤨
fan did you guys see the way his girl jumped the fence to get to him after he won? relationship goals fr
schecoperez another red bull 1-2! 💪 ↳ maxverstappen1 you gave me a run for my money at the end there old man! ↳ schecoperez less of the old thank you
redbullracing rue when was this ↳ fan admin finding out about max's relationship at the same time as us is so on brand ↳ redbullracing and here i thought we were besties 😔 ↳ maxverstappen1 😉
danielricciardo you look hot in the second photo and it's not just the heat 😍 ↳ fan maxiel lives on ❤️
fan he tagged her as mine BROOOOOO who's got this man so down bad??
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, bffstagram and 194 others
🔒 y/nstagram account locked DOWN but it's so worth it for you ❤️
maxverstappen i'm sorry liefje i should have thought about this before inviting you... ↳ y/nstagram i don't regret going maxie,,, and i certainly don't regret hugging you after the race,, i knew what i was getting into, it's just a lot ❤️ maxverstappen1 ik ben gek op jou ❤️ (i'm crazy about you) y/nstagram mijn charmante prins ❤️ (my prince charming)
alexandrasaintmleux you do what's best for you ma cocotte 💗 honestly going private at the start of mine and charles' relationship was one of the best things for us ↳ y/nstagram the woe of being a wag 😔
daniel.jpg dude can you accept my follow request ↳ maxverstappen1 you followed her from your jpg acc but not your main? ↳ daniel.jpg never said i was smart ↳ charles_leclerc ^ ↳ georgerussell63 ^ ↳ landonorris ^ ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ maxverstappen1 ^ ↳ y/nstagram ^ ↳ oscarpiastri ^ ↳ daniel.jpg oscarpiastri HOW DID YOU GET HERE?? you haven't even MET y/n yet ↳ y/nstagram that's my son watch your tone. ↳ daniel.jpg i am very sorry miss y/n l/n PLEASE let me in ↳ y/nstagram oscarpiastri shall i? ↳ oscarpiastri lemme think on it ↳ daniel.jpg i hate it here
📍 suzuka, japan
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, y/nstagram and 1,394,582 others
redbullracing a quick look into max's garage! already over halfway through the season and your current world champion is on track for his 4th year running 💪
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maxverstappen1 you know how we do 👊
fan i see a y/n at the back!! ↳ fan who is y/n? ↳ fan his gf! she was first spotted in jeddah and she's been to quite a few of his races this year! ↳ fan do you have her ig? ↳ fan y/nstagram but it's private!
fan 4 time world champ incoming! ♥️ redbullracing
user lewis is gonna reclaim his title! ↳ fan ok gramps lets get you back to the home
fan best team in the world
user oh the gold digger is back ↳ redbullracing blocked, deleted and reported ↳ fan red bull stand on business ↳ redbullracing no one messes with OUR redbull girl! 👊
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 274 others
🔒 y/nstagram did you know red bull gives you wings? 👼
maxverstappen1 must have taken you forever to think of that caption ↳ y/nstagram what can i say you're dating a comedic genius
friend1 damn ma lend me one of those jackets xx ↳ y/nstagram omg pls take one he won't stop giving them to me,,, ↳ friend1 i'll take the white cap too if you're offering 👀 ↳ y/nstagram 🫡
bffstagram the third pic... y/n STAND UP ↳ y/nstagram he has the prettiest eyes 😍 my man my man my maaaaan ↳ bffstagram we've lost her boys...
alexandrasaintmleux i see the ferrari jacket 👀 ↳ y/nstagram max nearly threw me out of the room fr ↳ maxverstappen1 you deserved it ↳ maxverstappen1 also i'm burning it when you're not looking ↳ y/nstagram charlie gave it to me :((((( ↳ charles_leclerc yeah max you wouldn't burn sweet charlie's jacket would you? ↳ maxverstappen1 i'd burn you IN the jacket if you don't stop ↳ charles_leclerc 🫦 damn i love when you talk dirty to me ↳ y/nstagram ,,, alexandrasaintmleux should we leave them to it? ↳ alexandrasaintmleux after what you showed me on tumblr... yeah maybe we should
daniel.jpg loving the drip ↳ maxverstappen1 has she still not accepted your main follow request? ↳ daniel.jpg no... i know it's oscars fault somehow ↳ oscarpiastri why am i catching strays? ↳ y/nstagram i watched baku 2018 ,, you're lucky i don't block your jpg account ↳ daniel.jpg THAT WAS SO LONG AGO LET ME INNNNNNN
📍 zandvoort, the netherlands
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by y/nstagram, maxverstappen1 and 1,998,928 others
redbullracing and maxverstappen1 getting P1 and being crowned a 4 time world champion at the final race of the season AND your home race? max verstappen we tip our hats to you 💙
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fan him lifting the trophy and mouthing "this is for you" to y/n i am so lonely oh my god
y/nstagram mijn kampioen ❤️ (my champion) ♥️ redbullracing, maxverstappen1
fan max verstappen world domination!! lets go champ!!!
fan y'know maybe the dutch national anthem isn't too bad...
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👤 maxverstappen1 liked by bffstagram, maxverstappen1 and 290,948 others
y/nstagram i moved to monaco for a degree in french and fell for a dutchman,,,
max, it has been a privilege to know you, to share your happiness and to love and be loved by you. watching you do what you do best fills me with so much joy and i can't wait to see you dominate the track for many more years. here's to you. ik hou van je, mijn kampioen ❤️ (i love you, my champion)
(also hi fans of max, i am very scared about being perceived by so many of you, please be nice ❤️)
maxverstappen1 mijn hart en ziel, ik weet niet hoe ik het in het Engels moet uitdrukken maar bedankt dat je in mijn leven bent gekomen, je maakt alles een beetje mooier. ik hou van je ❤️ (my heart and soul, i don't know how to express it in english but thank you for coming into my life, you make everything a little brighter. i love you) ↳ y/nstagram maxie 🥹 can't wait to celebrate you tonight ❤️
fan hi y/n!!! glad you felt comfortable enough to come off private! we're a nice bunch i promise! (at least most of us are) ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan also if anyone is mean to you i will do something that puts me on the national news 🫶
fan we've only seen glimpses of her on tv, max you bagged a baddie DAMN ♥️ maxverstappen1
fan mama y papa ↳ landonorris real ↳ oscarpiastri real
danielricciardo I'M IN !!! ↳ danielricciardo WAIT YOU WENT OFF PRIV??? y/n thats so mean wtf :(
alexandrasaintmleux mon couple préféré 💗 (my favourite couple) ↳ y/nstagram c'est grâce à toi alex, je t'aime 💕 (it's all thanks to you alex, love you)
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👤 y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 1,386,297 others
maxverstappen1 an appreciation post for mijn liefje. being able to put up with me dragging her halfway across the world nearly every month so i can drive fast cars whilst studying for her degree. graduated top of her class (with an elective in dutch 😉). here's to you and to us. (oh and happy 11 months, i may love you a little bit) ❤️
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y/nstagram my boy ❤️ could't have done it without your support ↳ maxverstappen1 i know, i am an Amazing boyfriend 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram
landonorris congrats y/n! knew there had to be a big brain in that ol' noggin of yours ↳ y/nstagram thanks lan! maybe i can actually teach you some french now 🤓
fan taking a long walk off a very short bridge
redbullracing congratulations to the brains of the couple! hoped you liked the gifts 💙 ↳ y/nstagram a dutch for dummies book, you think you're so funny don't you 😐
fan the flowers 😭😭😭
fan doesn't post about his championship but posts about his girl... need me a man like that
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toji-girl · 2 months
Text
this is for @dizazter-dragoon who asked for #30 from these prompts with t. fushiguro! I am so glad we found each other again! I deactivated my last blog so this is my new one lmaooo I hope you're doing well! and I'll do Hawks in a separate post ♡
tags: fem reader + explicit smut + makeup sex + slight daddy kink + creampie + slight dry humping + jealous! Toji wants to knock you up + comments and reblogs are always appreciated ♡
"I can't believe you would say that to my boss! That man signs off on my paychecks!" You growled as you reached up for the heavy earrings you put on earlier to take them off, the weight of them being gone was almost orgasmic as you pushed open the front door with a huff.
Your husband Toji followed after you grumbling something under his breath. "He wouldn't stop staring at your tits, what's the big deal?" He asked kicking his shoes off as the both of you stood in the entryway.
You looked at him and slipped your high heels off putting them on the rack then Toji's next, the force of slamming them down made the metal rack shake. "The big deal is that you told him that you were going to pluck his eyes out and put them in his dirty martini!"
He couldn't help but chuckle a little at the look that overtook the older man's face as he snaked his arm around your waist while you gushed with apologies and how your husband has no manners.
Toji shrugged his jacket off as he followed after you again, one large hand unknotted his tie as you paced the living room glaring at him when he plopped down on the couch man spreading obnoxiously.
"I don't care if that fucker built the entire damn buildin' from the ground up, no one looks at my wife that way, but me." He replied gruffly and frankly quite irritated that the night was turning sour.
The room was filled with a palpable tension that felt suffocating as you both stared at each other while you reached under your dress to roll your stockings off with an eye roll. "It was just a look Toji!"
He threw his head back and laughed as he finally got his tie loosened around his neck, his free hand grabbed the edge to wrap it around his fist as he sat back more. "Don't you always whine and bitch about women looking at me? What is that you say they do? Oh, that's right. 'Eye fucking me'. That's what your boss was doing to you." He hissed.
"I do not bitch and whine when other women look at you! It's just when they can see me next to you holding your hand they still look at you like that and you're one to talk! Mr. I Threaten People With Physical Violence For Looking At My Wife!" You shot back angrily.
Green eyes watched you shimmy your dress up higher until it bunched around your waist giving him a good view of your silk panties and he knew you were wearing the matching bra set.
He wanted to reach out and grab your wrist to pull you on his lap and give you an attitude adjustment but instead, he let you have your moment as you paced the living room undressing yourself for him.
"You just can't go around trying to knock heads together Toji because guess what!? You have a pretty wife and I have a sexy-as-sin husband, you are sex on legs! It-" You stopped and threw your hands in the air with a sigh of defeat as you sat down in your chair.
Toji rubbed at the shadow of stubble that began to grow as he finished unbuttoning his shirt letting it hang out as the both of you sat there stewing in your own anger, and you and him both knew that the whole fight was truly ridiculous, and really petty at this point.
Silence filled the room, but it still sounded so loud.
It was clear that this was going to happen. Women would check your husband out, even some men did and you would be complimented and flirted with whenever you two went out for dinner or something.
You both needed to get over it.
"I don't want to fight, but you can't tell my boss that, again, without him, I wouldn't have a job, and after tonight, he won't even look at me in the eyes. You got in his face...which was hot...seeing you like that." Your voice was quiet when you admitted it as you crawled into his lap.
Toji's lips curled into a smirk, the scar on the corner parted when he spoke. "I won't do it again, but I can't promise anything." He snaked both thick arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him.
You rolled your eyes playfully running your fingers through his hair and looking into his eyes grateful that you had a husband who wouldn't let anyone disrespect you, no matter who it was or they thought they were.
"I hope you don't have anything important going on tomorrow because you won't be able to walk." He murmured letting his fingertips trail down your neck and then to your bra strap that he unclasped with ease letting it fall into his lap hearing you gasp.
He traced your curves making you suck in a breath, he knew the art of teasing you until he had you melted into a puddle. Large hands cupped your ass as you found his mouth in a needy kiss.
Your tongue danced with his as he ripped your panties off, the audible rip of them made you pull away from him ready to give him an ear full. "Don't worry doll, daddy will buy you a new one." He teased knowing that nickname made you ten types of flustered.
When he leaned in for another kiss you nipped his bottom lip and scooted back his thick and powerful thighs rumpling his slacks as you pulled his belt from the loops on his pants before popping his button and tugging his boxers down the best you could.
"Impatient, much?"
Toji loved to tease you anytime he could but this time you ignored him and freed his cock that stood tall and thick, a few small veins pulsed under the warm and silky flesh while the biggest one throbbed under your palm as you wrapped it around him slowly.
His head fell back as you jerked your fist up and down while you moved to straddle one thigh humping it as you leaned in to let a glob of spit drip down to your enclosed fist, the wet shlick shlick of the handjob filled both of your ears as you sought his mouth again.
Your tongue slid against his eating his soft moans as you rutted your pussy against his slacks feeling the lack of friction irritate you which is something your husband didn't miss, not with how you pouted.
Before you knew it you were staring up at the ceiling with your husband slotted between your legs spreading them obscenely open to accommodate him and his hulk of a body, he slid his hands up to the back of your knees pushing your legs back to your ears almost.
"I think you just need me to fuck the attitude out of you, don't ya?" He grinned down at you slapping the length of his cock against your slicked-up pussy that fluttered around nothing, desperate to be filled.
You grabbed the back of his neck pulling him down to kiss him deeply as your other hand reached down to rub the tip up and down gathering more slick before pushing him inside slowly.
With his sack resting against the curve of your ass Toji pulled out agonizingly slow letting you feel how hard he was until just the tip was inside your gushing pussy he pushed back in quickly and sharply.
He huffed in your ear as he pressed down more into you keeping you pinned onto the couch cushions as he rolled his hips making sure to angle his cock deep inside you, hearing you gasp his name made him go harder fuking you into the couch almost making the frame shake.
The image of those men complimenting you about your promotion but why the hell were their eyes glued to your chest? "I should knock you up, fill up those pretty tits with milk, and then maybe those fuckers will know better than to look at my wife." He grunted deeply.
"Yes! Toji!" Those two words were the only thing you could babble out as he pushed you closer to your orgasm that ripped open at the seams taking you down into a pit of pleasure that consumed you.
Feeling your pussy milk him, Toji's own climax didn't take long either.
He buried his face in the crook of your neck, slowing his pace down to give both of you reprive as he filled you, thick and warm with his cum that coated the both of you as you both lay there panting.
"I love you, baby." You whispered when he pulled back to look at you, your words caused him to smile and give you a sweet kiss pouring all his love and emotions into one simple act.
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megalony · 4 months
Text
Stay With Me
This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by the lovely @klovesreading, I hope you all like it. Feedback is always lovely.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@noonenuts@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream
911 Masterlist
Summary: After an argument with Eddie, (Y/n) picks up an extra shift at work. Both of them wish she didn't when she gets shot on duty.
Enjoy.
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(Y/n) hauled off Eddie's hoodie that she had been wearing all afternoon and slung it over the back of the dining room chair before she headed through into the kitchen. It felt strange to have the house deathly quiet and barely alive like this. But she had just taken Chris to spend the night with Evan since they hadn't had a lot of time together recently and Chris was starting to miss his uncle Buck.
She loved Chris to death, he had quickly wormed his way into her heart and when he started to call (Y/n) mum, it was the best day of her life. She wasn't used to having the house this quiet without him playing his video games or dancing away to music. But it would be nice to have a night with Eddie without having to worry if Chris could hear them or if he was alright and check what he was doing.
She knew he was with Evan and having the time of his life; whenever her brother came round Chris never wanted him to leave. Last week he went as far as having a meltdown when Evan had to go on shift and leave them. At least he didn't have to be upset this time, he could spend the full night with 'his Buck' and (Y/n) knew Eddie was relieved that Chris's first night away from home- other than being with his grandparents- was with someone they both trusted.
Rounding the kitchen counter, (Y/n) tiredly looked in the fridge, trying to decide if she was actually hungry or not. She had been feeling sick today and the past few days she had no energy, even when she was at work all she wanted to do was go home to bed.
(Y/n) could hear that Eddie had put the tv on in the living room a few minutes ago when he came home and she guessed he would soon be looking for a movie to watch together. With his work pattern, whenever Eddie got an evening or a day off, he binged a few good movies because he didn't have a lot of free time to watch movies. Other than the same five cartoon movies Chris was currently obsessed with.
"When did you get this?"
Pulling away from the fridge, (Y/n) heaved it shut with a sigh and turned on her heels to look over at Eddie.
Her eyes raked over his frame, noticing the way his hair was brushed back on his head and curling up at the ends like he had run it through with wax. He was wearing a dark grey sleeveless shirt and his body was leaning up against the kitchen doorway. His arms were crossed over his chest and for a second, (Y/n) wasn't sure what he was referring to, until her eyes landed on the small box he had put on the counter in front of him.
A pregnancy test.
"Oh, uh, I don't know, last week maybe?" She leaned forward on the counter and arched her back out with her arms folded in front of her.
(Y/n) had bought so many pregnancy tests this last year that she couldn't remember when she got most of them. Usually when she thought she had one in the bathroom cupboard, she went and found she'd already used it and had to go for another. That was probably a spare one she'd bought on the off chance of needing it.
It was a sore subject to talk about at the moment.
A whole year they had been trying. A year of wanting to get pregnant and coming up empty handed with a lot of false positives. Chris had become (Y/n)'s child as much as Eddie's when they got married, he was calling and referring to her as his mum and (Y/n) was in the process of adopting him. But it didn't stop her wanting to have a baby of her own.
She yearned to have a baby and see Eddie with a baby in his arms and Eddie had as much baby fever as (Y/n), but nothing was going to plan. (Y/n) was pregnant two months after they got married but it hadn't been straight forward. (Y/n) thought she might have been pregnant, she had a suspicion but before she could take a test or book a doctor's appointment, she woke in the night with horrid cramps and found out she'd miscarried without really knowing she was pregnant.
That was as close as she came to being pregnant. For the year that they had been trying, nothing had happened and (Y/n) didn't know what to do with herself or how to get out of the slump it was putting her in.
"I thought we agreed not to do any more tests for a while?" Eddie uncrossed his arms and crossed the kitchen to reach her but he hated the glum, broken look in (Y/n)'s eyes when she looked up at him.
Without replying, (Y/n) simply shrugged and started to tangle her fingers together. She didn't acknowledge Eddie's hand on her lower back because she knew where this conversation was going to go. All she did was tilt her head to the right when Eddie's lips merged with her neck and she let herself melt into the feeling, just for a while.
"Mi amor?"
"I wasn't intending on using it, not yet anyway." She didn't remember when she bought it, she had on intentions of sitting and looking at a negative test.
"That's what you said before," Eddie rolled his lips together and took a deep breath when (Y/n) shrugged out of his touch and turned to face him with one elbow leant on the counter.
"That's not funny."
"I'm not trying to joke. We said we wouldn't take any more tests after last time."
Eddie didn't want to come home and find (Y/n) slumped on the floor, staring into the void of a negative test. Unable to move, unsure what to say. If she wanted to do a test Eddie would rather (Y/n) do it when he was home with her but that being said, he didn't want to take any more tests. Not unless they were dead certain they were within a chance of having a positive.
He was sick of seeing the negatives on the test and watching a little piece of (Y/n) break each time they took a test. Eddie would rather forget about tests all together and forget that they were trying for a baby. If they didn't overthink this, then maybe they would have a baby without having to focus and try so hard.
"And we're not." (Y/n) dragged her fingers through her hair, brushing the strands further back on her head and out of her eyes. She moved away from the counter and grabbed the dreaded test that had become her enemy rather than her friend.
"Good."
"Why is that good?" She couldn't drag her eyes away from the test to look over at Eddie. Just this once, (Y/n) wished she could tear it open, try the test and have it come back positive.
Just this once. Was she really asking too much by wanting a baby?
"Because I don't like seeing you break down every time we get a test. Hide the damn thing and forget about it. We might get lucky without all the pressure." Eddie leaned back, using his quick reflexes to catch the test when (Y/n) tossed it his way. If he wanted to hide it, he could go ahead and they would see if his relaxed way would go down well or not.
(Y/n) clamped her hand down on her hip and leaned her other side into the counter. Her eyes watched her husband with intrigue as he tossed the test from one hand to the other like it was burning hot and scolding his skin. But her heart dropped down to her stomach when she noticed him glance towards the bin. It was a quick, swift movement, barely noticeable, but (Y/n) saw. She almost expected him to toss the test in the bin but he settled on throwing it on the top shelf in the medicine cupboard.
"May as well forget about it, we won't need it."
His words were like a knife puncturing through (Y/n)'s stomach and she could feel bile creeping up the back of her throat as her stomach twisted and clenched.
"Why would you say that?" The pain in (Y/n)'s eyes matched the croak in her voice and she furiously rubbed her sleeve against her eyes to stop herself from crying. She had cried enough, she wasn't in the mood to break down about this, again.
It hurt more than Eddie could comprehend that when he and Shannon had Chris, they hadn't been trying for a baby. Chris was the reason they got married, both being Catholics and raised with the installed thought of 'doing the right thing.' Chris was a surprise, the best kind, he and Shannon didn't have to try for a year to have a baby and Shannon took that and the family she had, for granted.
And here (Y/n) was, married to the man who stole her heart from the first moment they met. She loved him and Chris and they had their own little family together, but (Y/n) couldn't seem to catch a break when it came to a baby. They had done things the way Eddie's family would have wanted, marriage first, then children. But none were arriving.
(Y/n)'s teeth started to grind down together when Eddie stared across at her with those big doe eyes that were full of panic and fright.
He hadn't meant to say that outloud.
"No, baby I didn't mean it like that."
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't." His hands moved to clamp down on his hips and his head tilted to the side as he looked at her with a hardened, unhappy expression. "We don't need a fucking test right now, we need to stop panicking. We have time and it'll either happen or it won't."
He didn't like the way (Y/n) scoffed and her lips curled into a snarky smile. Why could he not see this from her perspective?
"Why not just give up, hm? Shannon didn't even have to try to have Chris and I've been with you almost five years and all I get is a false positive and then a miscarriage. Clearly it's not happening."
"That's not what I'm saying. Do you think I enjoy seeing you upset like this? I'm sick of seeing you so broken and not being able to do anything about it. At least whenever Shannon did a test she didn't cry when it was negative,"
"Well it's a fucking shame you married me, Edmundo."
Eddie knew he had taken it too far the moment he spoke and hearing his full name from (Y/n) only made him cringe and back up into the counter. He hated the way she said his name. He knew he well and truly fucked up when (Y/n) croaked his name like that and had to fight back tears from his crudeness.
He didn't mean it.
Tears welled up in the corners of Eddie's eyes when (Y/n) bypassed him, moving as far to the counter as she could so even her arm didn't brush his chest an inch. And panic bubbled up in Eddie's chest when he watched his wife barge through the dining room, grab her bag from the table and march towards the front door.
What was she doing? Where was she going? He didn't want her to leave, he wanted to stay and talk and make up for the stupid things he had just said that he well and truly didn't mean.
"Wait- where are you going?" The panic in his voice almost made (Y/n) crumble. Almost.
With her jacket slung over her arm and her bag on her shoulder, (Y/n) grabbed her keys and unlocked the door.
"I'm going to work."
"You're not on shift. Baby don't leave, I'm sorry I didn't mean it-"
"I'll pick up the night shift and pray I won't be such a cry baby by morning." When the door slammed shut behind her, Eddie slumped his back into the wall and let himself slide down to the floor with a thud.
What had he done?
***
"Are you okay?"
(Y/n) slumped down in her seat and leaned her head against the window that felt cold and soothing against her burning temple. Night shifts always caught her off guard, they didn't make her feel great when most of her shifts were day shifts since Eddie did a fair few nights.
Every time she went onto a night shift, (Y/n) felt like she was going to collapse the moment she got home and she could never sleep during the day which made her feel even worse. But being on shift was preferable to being at home with Eddie and either sitting in silence or carrying on the argument.
"Just tired,"
"Hm. Makes sense that you'd pick up the late shift if you're tired." Athena tilted her head to the side and gave (Y/n) a knowing look, sporting her signature, calming smile.
Since moving down to LA with Evan, the siblings both felt like Athena and Bobby had taken them under their wings and become their surrogate parents. Bobby looked out for Evan at the station and was always there for him outside of the station when he needed him. And when (Y/n) became a cop, she had Athena to look out for her and be there when she needed a shoulder to lean on.
"I'd just rather be anywhere else right now." There was no point divuldging why she was here and not back at home on her day off. It was easier to try and forget the reason why she wasn't going home yet and pray that in the morning, the atmosphere would be gone by the time she walked through the door.
A bolt of relief surged through (Y/n) when the radio went off, asking for assistance. She needed something to focus her mind on because she wasn't the one driving tonight. Driving the streets aimlessly was something she and Eddie did when they or Chris couldn't sleep and it was only going to make (Y/n) break down and want to go back home.
"Anyone available to assist in a house call? Neighbours are reporting raised voices and items being thrown."
"This is Seven-two-seven-L-thirty, responding."
(Y/n) looked across at Athena as she shimmied up and sat up straight in her seat to try and liven herself up. It was strange to see Athena without her usual sunglasses she always wore when she was on shift, but she didn't wear them out on a night shift. It tended to give people the wrong impression and they didn't exactly help.
"Off we go," (Y/n) heaved herself out the car and stretched, clicking her back into place as she shut the door behind her.
As soon as she was on her feet, (Y/n) felt like the cold air was wrapping her up and suffocating her. Her stomach was still churning from earlier and she was sweating despite the cool midnight breeze.
"The side gates open, I'll take a look."
(Y/n) nodded and watched Athena move away from the path towards the right side of the house. The gate was swinging open in the wind, creaking back and forth which wasn't alarming but it could be something to worry about.
With a deep breath, (Y/n) followed the narrow path up to the front door and tried to peek into the window to see if there were any lights on or any sound of noise. The neighbours called in raised voices and items being thrown about but the house was deadly quiet right now.
"Police, could you open the door please? We're here for a welfare check." (Y/n) knocked on the door three times before she leaned towards the window when she heard some movement. "Open the door please." She tried again with another round of knocking but whoever was inside was now rummaging around. They weren't going to open up.
A sigh passed her lips as she took a few steps away from the door and moved back onto the path. Her hand curled around her radio and she did a sweep around the quiet street.
"Athena, any luck round back? I might check in with the neighbours- oh, someone's opening up."
When the door unlocked and creaked open, (Y/n) walked back up the steps but she stopped short when a woman shot out the door. She collided into (Y/n)'s shoulder, pushing her back and causing her to twist on her feet as she regained her balance. Falling on the pavement wasn't going to do her any favours tonight.
"Miss- miss wait-"
(Y/n) scrunched her hand around the girl's sleeve and tried in vain to stop her bolting away and rushing down the empty street. But just as her hand left the girl's shoulder, everything seemed to stop when a shot rang through the air.
At first, she thought Athena had come through the house and was trying to apprehend someone. It didn't dawn on (Y/n) that it was someone else in the house shooting until a blinding, horrifying pain coursed through her left shoulder.
Her body tilted backwards and she managed to stay upright for three wobbling steps back while her right hand moved to press to her shoulder without thinking. Blood soaked into her palm. The touch on her shoulder made it ignite in white hot pain. No air went in or out of her lungs and her knees caved in on her.
She didn't reach the floor before another shot imbedded in her left thigh just before her back hit the ground.
Her head smashed into the pavement, sending her vision black with little white spots like the stars had fell down to Earth and were dancing in front of her eyes.
The collision seemed to act as a button that turned her hearing off. All (Y/n) could hear was static. It was buzzing in her ears, ringing around in her head and worsening the way her body was shaking when she couldn't hear what was going on. Her eyes wouldn't focus on anything but the flashing stars blinking in front of her. How could she protect herself if all she could see were stars and all she could hear was blinding, buzzing background static.
(Y/n) couldn't help herself if the gunman came outside and tried to shoot at her or the civilian who most probably had fled the street by now. She couldn't protect Athena if she didn't know what was going on or where (Y/n) and the shooter were.
All she could do was lie there like prey, giving in and ready to be killed for sport.
"Shots fired! Officer down I need immediate back up and an ambulance to my location now!" Athena slumped down on her knees, dragging her eyes over (Y/n)'s frame. She had handcuffed the shooter to the radiator in the doorway after she entered the house through the open back door.
She could feel Athena's hand briefly grab hers to let her know who it was beside her and that she was safe.
"(Y/n), can you hear me? You just stay with me, help is on the way."
Something akin to a gurgling scream burned at the back of (Y/n)'s throat when she felt something tight strap around her thigh somewhere near the wounded area. She couldn't pinpoint where she had been shot. Her leg was tingling from her hip bone all the way down to her toes that were cold and numb in her boots.
Her head turned to the side and her hands blindly reached out while her vision slowly started to come back to her. She could just about see Athena hovering over her and she soon realised Athena had used her belt as a turniquet around her thigh to prevent the blood loss. As soon as she pulled it tighter, (Y/n) screamed and thrashed her upper body down against the concrete.
Everything started to shake. Each breath she took made her chest shudder and spit foamed at her mouth as she pushed her breaths through gritted teeth that were puncturing down into her tongue.
Everything burned. Everything hurt. She was trapped in a body that was on fire and tearing itself apart.
Why did she bother coming on shift tonight? Why didn't she stay home with Eddie? An argument wasn't worth getting shot at, she should have talked things out with him.
He begged her to stay, why didn't she stay?
"Stay with me, sweetie, stay with me."
Tears stained (Y/n)'s face and burned into her skin like acid when both Athena's hands pressed down on her shoulder. She couldn't tie anything around her arm or chest as a turniquet, all Athena could do was apply as much pressure as she could to slow down the bleeding until paramedics came to help.
The pressure made (Y/n) choke and she reached a hand out, fumbling around until she could curl her fingers around Athena's wrist.
"Eddie. Eddie."
"Sweetie let's focus on getting some medics here-"
"Eddie!"
She screamed her husband's name at the top of her lungs until she saw Athena grapple with one hand to fish her phone out of her pocket. She had to keep (Y/n) calm or else she was going to go into shock and that wouldn't do her any favours when she had two gunshot wounds.
Blood smeared onto her phone when she swiped a shaky finger across the screen and scrolled down to Eddie's contact. As soon as she clicked on his name, she returned both hands to (Y/n)'s shoulder and pushed down as hard as she could until it felt like her hands were going to burst through (Y/n)'s body.
"Athena? Everything okay?" Eddie's confused voice came through the speaker and just the tone of his voice made (Y/n)'s head loll to the right towards the phone, wishing he was here instead of on the other end of the line.
Sirens wailed in the distance before she could answer and it made her jaw clench. She shouldn't be calling Eddie yet, it was too early when all the attention needed to be focused on (Y/n), but if she didn't, she had a feeling (Y/n) would become very hard to calm and control.
"Eddie I need you to listen carefully. (Y/n)'s been involved in an accident, you need to meet us at Mercy hospital."
"No, no what kind of accident? Is she okay?!"
"Eddie," (Y/n)'s eyes dazed around in circles, unable to focus on anything except the sound of her husband's panicked voice. His name slipped past her lips again, but much quieter this time and (Y/n) found she couldn't hear his response, or anything Athena was trying to shout at her.
"(Y/n), honey you stay with me now, help is here. Eddie meet us at the hospital." She ended the call, swallowing down the guilt consuming every inch of her being when the last thing she heard was Eddie's scream of protest. She couldn't have him on the phone when she could feel (Y/n)'s pulse was starting to fade. They had to get her to the hospital and Eddie would have to drown in the same panic as Athena until he got there.
***
This had to be the one. This was the third ambulance Eddie had seen pull into the parking bay just at the side of the emergency room entrance. He hastily parked his car as close as he could get and stood to the side of the ambulance entrance to the hospital. Eddie knew if he went through the reception in the emergency room he would be pushed to the side and would have to wait for hours in agony.
Whereas if he waited here, he could see Athena and (Y/n) come through the emergency room and he could stay with them that way.
Two ambulances had parked up since Eddie got here and neither of them had brought in his wife. He was starting to lose the feeling in his fingers and feet and at any moment he was sure he would throw up. If he hadn't of started the argument, (Y/n) wouldn't have gone on shift and she wouldn't have been hurt somehow.
The only silver lining here was that Chris was staying with Evan for the night. Eddie didn't have to panic and flutter about finding someone to look after Chris and waste time driving around. He had been able to get straight in the car and drive down to the hospital.
Eddie looked down to his phone again, desperate to call Athena but he knew better. His eyes flitted between his phone and the latest ambulance and he took two steps closer when the back doors opened.
Bingo.
"Athena!" He slipped his phone back into his pocket and skidded across the path to reach them, growling when one of the medics tried to push him back.
"Sir stand back-"
"That's my wife!" Both Eddie's hands moved to tangle in his hair and he started to yank harshly on the strands, feeling a few hairs coming loose between his fingers. His elbows pressed out at his sides and each breath started to run away from him when he realised what they were doing.
One of the medics was stood on the side of the stretcher, hands interlocked, arms straight, pushing compressions down on (Y/n)'s chest. Her heart had stopped.
There was an airbag attached to her mouth and nose, pushing each breath she needed through her system. Eddie spied a turniquet on her left leg and a bundle of gauze and rolls of bandage wrapped around her upper thigh that were starting to turn crimson. Another medic was stood on the other side, applying pressure and a large wad of gauze down onto (Y/n)'s left shoulder but the blood was everywhere. Soaked into her shirt, smeared up her neck, lathering the medic's hands and wrists.
Blood was splattered all over Athena. Her shirt, her hands all the way upto her elbows. A few droplets were even dotted on her cheek from back splash when she tried to stem the bleeding.
Eddie's feet were moving before he could comprehend what was happening and suddenly he and Athena were bolting inside down the hall after the gurney. They stopped only when the gurney travelled down a restricted corridor and the pair of them were left waiting, helpless in an empty corridor.
"What happened?"
"We were doing a welfare check… a woman fled the house and the husband open fired on the lawn. We didn't know he had a gun, there was nothing we could do."
"S-someone, shot her?"
He wasn't sure why, but gunshots didn't cross his mind when he saw the blood and the gauze padded onto his wife. He thought of knife wounds or a car accident. Eddie was married to a cop and a gunshot didn't even cross his mind.
He had to call Evan. And Maddie. He needed to find someone who would be able to watch Chris so Evan could come down to the hospital, he wouldn't be persuaded otherwise once Eddie called him and told him the news. (Y/n)'s siblings were the closest people to her, they were her world, the people who raised her when their parents couldn't. They would want to be here, waiting with Eddie for news.
What had he done? Why did he let her leave?
***
A groan tumbled past Eddie's lips and he slowly brought a hand up to his eyes, rubbing forcefully to try and wake himself up and take a look around. He could of cried when he realised he was in the same spot he had been hours ago. He wasn't waking up from this nightmare, he was trapped.
The moment he tilted his head up, his neck clicked into place and sent a shudder running down the base of his spine. His legs were numb and tingling, stretched out in front of him and his back was aching from falling asleep on the floor, leant up against the wall.
The chairs had been too uncomfy to sit on for long and when a panic attack took over him, Eddie curled up on the floor and hadn't moved since.
He stretched his arms above his head but when his eyes locked on a doctor aiming his way, Eddie jumped to attention. He stood up on wobbling legs and braced himself back against the wall with his hands clasped together in front of him. In the time it took the doctor to walk across the corridor to him, Eddie's hands were dripping with sweat and the back of his neck prickled with heat and goosebumps.
"Mr Diaz?"
His throat was too tight to speak so he settled for nodding his head and moved across with the doctor to sit on the chairs a few feet away.
Suddenly, Eddie was glad he was alone. If this conversation went the wrong way, Eddie didn't want to be around friends and family when he had a break down. Evan and Maddie were on their way here as soon as they could drop Chris off with Hen and Karen. Athena had gone to get changed after her interview with the chief of police and she would be back later with Bobby.
That left Eddie to sit and panic in the corridor for the last three hours, riding out the early morning in a state of perpetual fear he had never felt before.
"Your wife is out of surgery, it went very well."
Relief washed over Eddie like the tide claiming the sand and he let his body slump forward to land his head in his hands.
Thank God. It worked. She was okay.
"We removed both bullets, the one in her thigh was less severe. I'm afraid the shot to the shoulder managed to fracture into the joint. It will take longer to heal and your wife will need physiotherapy."
"She… she coded when she arrived…" Eddie wasn't sure what he was asking but he could feel the panic swirling around in his head. (Y/n) had stopped breathing when the ambulance pulled up. She had CPR on her way into theatre, that could have had a lot of adverse affects and cause lasting problems, depending on how long she was not breathing.
"We restarted her heart upon arrival, she's had normal rhythm since then and two blood transfusions. We were rather worried surgery would push her body into a miscarriage, but so far the fetus seems fine. We will keep doing daily observations just to make sure."
"What are you talking about?"
Her expression faltered and Eddie watched the way she fiddled with her hands on her lap, grimacing at her mistake. She should have eased into that conversation and tied to gage whether Eddie had any inkling about this or not. Now she had put her foot right in it.
"I'm very sorry, I presumed you would have known. Your wife is pregnant, congratulations, you are both very lucky under the circumstances."
Eddie's hands clamped together and he leaned forward, pressing his mouth against the side of his hand with a sudden desire to bite down into the flesh and rip it apart.
What had he done?
Their argument earlier in the night had been futile and pointless and he should have stopped her from leaving. If they took the test the night would have gone very differently. If they had worked things out and stayed home together, they would have found out this news in a few weeks and everything would have been better. (Y/n) wouldn't need to be pent up on bed rest and undergoing surgery and physio and cardiac arrest. She wouldn't have gone through all of this and ended up being shot if they didn't argue.
"I want to see her."
"Of course, this way."
Eddie could barely feel his legs when he stood up. He was trembling all over and he raked his nails over his thighs to try and ward off the sudden energy and adrenaline fuelling through his system.
"Eddie," The way she said his name when he bolted through the door made him shiver. He couldn't get her voice out of his head. When he closed his eyes, he could still hear her crying out for him while he sat motionless and powerless to do anything to help his wife. He was never going to get that shrill cry out of his head, no matter what he did to try and forget.
Tears were already streaming down his face by the time he stumbled over to the bed and reached out for her.
He could see the way her eyes blinked rapidly and how she tilted her head groggily to the side to try and lock her gaze onto him. She had only just started to come round from the anaesthetic.
Eddie let himself slump down on the side of the bed and he took a second to rake his eyes over his wife's frame. Her left arm was wrapped up in a sling, bound to her chest which she seemed rather put out and confused about. And he didn't dare look under the blanket to see how badly her leg would look. He could only imagine how discoloured, swollen and sore it was going to be. Eddie had had his fair share of bullet wounds in the past.
When her fingers curled around his bicep, Eddie slipped his hands beneath her back as carefully as he could and gently pulled (Y/n) up when she tried to lean over for him. Her right arm curled around his neck, scratching her nails into his skin and her face slumped forward onto his shoulder. While Eddie wrapped one arm around her lower waist to keep her pinned into his chest and his other hand cupped the back of her neck.
He buried his nose into her hair and sighed against the side of her temple, pressing as many kisses to her skin as he could manage.
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."
(Y/n) turned her head until she could press a butterfly kiss against the underside of Eddie's jaw and her hazy eyes tried to focus on him when he pulled his head back to look down at her.
"Hm?" What was he sorry for? From what (Y/n) could recall, Eddie hadn't been the one to shoot her. He hadn't done anything wrong, he didn't force her out the house or make her pick up that shift. She should have gone for a drive to clear her head instead of pushing herself to go on shift when she didn't need to. It was stupid of her.
"I shouldn't have let you walk out the door. If I didn't say all those things, you wouldn't have been hurt." Eddie tilted his head to the side and swiped his cheek against his shoulder to rid the tears from his eyes. words were never going to be enough to explain how horrid and idiotic and ruthless he felt for what had happened tonight.
"Baby, I walked out… I k- I knew going to work would be a bad idea," (Y/n) leaned forward again and buried her face into Eddie's neck, groaning into his shoulder when it felt like a storm was rolling into her mind.
"We should have taken the test,"
"Hm?"
(Y/n)'s lips twitched against Eddie's neck and she curled her hand against his back and nuzzled her nose into his neck. She couldn't see what he meant by that, unless there was some secret undertone she was missing. Her eyes soon opened and her lips parted when Eddie's arms suddenly unravelled from her skin and moved to cup her face instead. He smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks and gently lifted her head up from his neck so he could look down at her.
The hazy look in her eyes made his heart melt and when she tried to smile so sweetly up at him, Eddie shivered. She had been shot, twice, and had been on the brink of death and here she was trying to smile to calm him down.
"Mi amor, you're pregnant."
Confusion flooded her face and her eyes narrowed while her smile morphed into something closer to unsettling panic.
If this was some sort of joke, it was in very poor taste and it wasn't funny in the least. But the longer (Y/n) stared up at Eddie, the sooner she realised he wasn't trying to play some sick joke on her or guilt trip her. A cry burned at the back of her throat and she choked on her breath as her head started to shake.
"But… I," (Y/n)'s hand fumbled towards her shoulder and her leg twitched at the memory of being hurt. If she was pregnant, she had put herself and the baby in danger by going on shift tonight. She had been shot, how could the baby be okay after that?
"Shh, it's okay, you're both okay." Eddie's fingers brushed across her cheeks, wiping away the tears falling down her face before he leaned down to kiss her. "And I'm gonna make sure nothing else happens to you. I swear."
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secretwritingspot · 5 months
Text
Sleepless Nights
Pairing: OPLA Sanji x Reader
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Rating/Content Warnings: R/18+? I guess there's TECHNICALLY no actual smut here but...you'll see. A lotta sexual implications...discussions of sex, I guess you could call it? Bargaining, maybe? It's hard to explain but just know reader is talking about getting freaky here alright.
Summary: Reader is suffering from a bout of insomnia that it seems nothing can fix. After many other failed attempts, they turn to Sanji for help. In a...less than appropriate way.
Disclaimer(s): Except guess what plot twist this bitch is CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BABY TWO DIFFERENT ENDINGS!!!! Each ending should take a day or two for me to get out and will be it's own separate post and will be hyper linked at the end of this one when they're posted, but rest assured they ARE BOTH PORN OKAY WE'RE GETTING FREAKY. The difference is that one will be a sweeter, softer kind and the other will be. Well. Not that.
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Despite what most might think, Sanji spends his days largely on ritual.
The devil-may-care attitude he adopted back at the Baratie (and often still does in arguments with Zoro) and his tendency to drop whatever he's doing when presented the opportunity to spend that time with a woman instead often become the talk of those around him, even the crew. It's largely an inoffensive mistake, and he truly doesn't mind being boiled down to the basics if those basics involve what some might call desperation, but he would call chivalry.
They are wrong, though.
Sanji is, at his essence, a creature of habit. His habits become like meditation at a point, some that he still carries with him from his time at the Baratie. Feed anyone who's hungry. Serve them the food if they forget to come get it themselves. Clean as you go and save nights for practice.
And so he does, even long after he's left the floating restaurant for greener pastures (or, he supposes, bluer waters?) It's where you find him that night, engrossed in some delicate pastry when he's shaken from his reverie by a quiet knock at the doorframe of the galley and soft, padding footsteps entering the space.
He's usually the only one awake at this hour, a solitary sentry keeping watch over what is, in his eyes, at least, the ship's most precious cargo. A soft voice calls his name and-
Well. Maybe he guards the ship's second most precious cargo.
He looks up as you offer him a small smile- though it's really not necessary. He'd recognize your voice on it's own if he were drowning, if his hearing gave out. He'd always find a way to recognize you, somehow.
He almost doesn't recognize you like this, though- the sweetest, most upbeat of his crewmates with exhaustion in their eyes and a yawn interrupting their words, tone flat and uneven.
"Hey, Sanji."
You'd come here for a reason.
Not a reason you'd willingly admit, at least not so readily, but a reason nonetheless. You knew you would find Sanji here if he was awake, he was always here. The predictability of it is...comforting. A small comfort, yes, but still.
"You're up late," you note softly, sitting down on a stool at the side of the counter opposite him, watching him cook, the steady motions and gentle confidence like the visual equivalent of white noise- soothing and blank.
Maybe a part of you didn't want him to be here. Wanted tonight to coincidentally be one of the rare few when he decided to hang up his apron and turn in early.
"So are you."
You came here as a last resort, but now you find yourself unable to access the words for your request at all.
Sanji chuckles softly at your lack of response, looking up and into your tired eyes with a soft sort of curiosity for a moment- but it's gone in a flash as he seems to remember what he's doing here in the first place, returning his gaze back to his cooking.
"It's late, you should be in bed." He mumbles softly, taking the responsibility of continuing the conversation for himself rather than watching you continue to struggle. If you were aware enough to at the time, you'd think it was sweet. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, really."
He looks up at you again for just a moment and raises a brow. You're almost annoyed that he took the time to look away from his precious baking just to make it obvious how much he doesn't believe you.
"Just...can't sleep, 's all."
You finally confess, too tired to make yourself care about how out of it you sound. You fold your arms on the counter and rest your chin on them, watching him cook peacefully with your legs curled up on the seat under you.
For a while, the silence is enough.
It's only when you curl your legs under yourself that he notices you're still in your sleep clothes- nothing but an oversized T-shirt and panties. He thanks his stars that you don't seem to notice the blush that blooms across his face when he realizes.
He pauses, almost as if waiting for you to notice and scold him for it. Instead, you blink lazily up at him, exhaustion evident in the way it takes you a little bit longer to convince your eyes to open again each time.
When he speaks again, it's only in an attempt to relieve the tension from his own throat.
"Can't sleep, huh?"
You nod and this time there's no sympathetic glance, his eyes staying glued to the plate in front of him as he adds the last little finishing touches to his work. Wordlessly, he leans in and slides the plate in front of you, the pastry in question making your nose twitch curiously.
It takes a while for your mind to catch up with you, but when it does you smile gratefully, heart warming at the gesture. You had been...on the fence about this before. Whatever this even was. You knew what you were going to ask (or try to ask, anyway, you didn't know if you'd have enough courage to get the words out) but you were going back and forth on whether it was a good idea. You'd had feelings for Sanji for a long time, but that didn't mean you knew if he would be any good for you.
"The things we want aren't always the things we need" and what have you.
But the gesture - casually giving up something he'd been working on so diligently to try to make you feel better - your heart flutters a bit and you look back down at the plate shyly to avoid his gaze, taking a bite. Immediately warmth floods you and you shiver happily, hoping your heart eyes aren't too obvious when you look back at him.
"...it's wonderful. Thank you, Sanji."
"Love, it's a pleasure to serve someone like you."
He responds softly with a satisfied smile, the words entirely too genuine. It was funny- you'd always heard that the way to a man's heart was his stomach, but Sanji was perfectly content to do all the cooking himself. All you had to do was compliment it and he'd shatter like glass.
"Anything I can do to help?" He asks softly after a moment, and you appreciate that he doesn't dwell too much on your issue with sleeping, seeming to sense that simply sitting around and talking about it would do you no good.
Still, no matter how thankful you are not to have to endure his pity, your cheeks flush at the question.
You don't say anything at first, just look away and fidget sheepishly with your sleeves. There is something he could do to help, what you'd come here to ask him for in the first place, but now that it comes down to actually saying it...your voice fails you.
This truly was a last resort- you'd tried handling it yourself, but it seemed that even if your mind wouldn't let you sleep, your body was too exhausted and your own hands ineffective when you tried, only leaving you more desperate. So you'd come here. To him.
"...fuck me to sleep. Please."
For a split second, there's nothing but silence. You aren't sure which of the two of you is more surprised by the fact that your words don't cause the whole world to spin off its axis.
But all things come to an end eventually. So is the nature of the world.
"Pardon?"
Sanji's cheeks slowly start to flood with pink and his eyes widen before he seems to get them under control again, schooling his expression back to as neutral as he can get it. But the relocation of all the red pigment in his body to his face tells the true story. Blood doesn't lie.
He pauses for a long moment in silence, as if afraid that he'll snap himself right out of this daydream, before he finally tries his voice again. "Love, are you...being serious?"
"Sanji, I haven't slept in two days."
The first admission is raw, whispered with a crack in your voice.
"I keep trying, but I can't-"
You shake your head, and it's obvious the toll your lack of sleep is taking on you. He can't help but sympathize- insomnia could be a complete bitch, especially on a ship like this, with so much work to do each day.
Sanji takes a breath, about to speak, before you continue on and he cuts himself off.
"I've tried everything. Silence, chamomile tea, reading - hell, I tried doing it myself-"
And oh, like that isn't one of the hottest things he's ever imagined. You, drowsy and fuzzy around the edges with need, teary from the lack of sleep with your hand between your legs, breathless whimpers breaking the near silence of the waves crashing against the ship's sides from outside- he cuts that train of thought off and does his best to save it as mental material for later, shaking his head minutely. More important things.
"I just...nothing works. Please, Sanji, don't make me beg."
Your rambling finally ceases and he's left thinking the galley sounds oddly quiet this late at night without it. He hadn't noticed that before.
When he manages to wrap his head around your request, it's not long before he makes up his mind, looking at you with a sympathetic spark in his eyes as he coos the answer.
"Oh, sweetheart..."
Soft:
"...come here."
Rough:
"...I'll put you to sleep, love, on one condition."
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greatooglymooglyyy · 1 month
Note
Hiya lovely, date night hcs for the boys if that's good by you?
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Date Night HC (All Three)
contains: fluff, kissing, nothing crazy.
a/n: first time attempting to write nick romantically. lmk how we feel. love ya
Matthew
- i think a first date with matt would most likely be something at home. like cooking together and watching a movie. it'd honestly feel so casual except for his small little touches and moments of affection.
-i can just see him dropping you off after the date. y'all say goodbye and you're about to get out the car but at the last second, he stops you and leans over to kiss you for the first time.
-speaking of dropping you off, our boy is NOT pulling off until he see you open you door and go inside. he knows better.
-he does not want to do the whole "wait a while to see each other again" thing. after the first hang out, he's hooked. come back over... now
- car. dates. i'm talking random ass late night fast food runs. you stretching your legs out across his lap while you tell him a story and him just nodding and rubbing your ankle.
"do you think we need a telescope to see mars?"
and that turns into y'all laying on the windshield. you straining your eyes looking at the stars and him just staring at you instead.
- once y'all are official, i honestly feel like matt is the type to not even tell you y'all are going on a date. especially if you've been down lately and need a pick me up. he'd just show up like "can you get dressed?"
"i'm not really in the mood to go out."
"don'tttttttttt care. get dressed."
-def stalks your twitter and tiktok reposts to see if you have anything you really want to do & then surprises you. he's never gonna let you say 'if he wanted to, he would.'
"how did you know i wanted to do a picnic?"
"guess i'm just good like that."
Christopher
-chris is giving you the full gentleman treatment on your first date. he's never done this before so he's playing by the book. flowers, opening doors, the whole nine yards.
-super nervous at first when the date first starts but he loosens up once you start laughing. then he's just doing all kinds of goofy shit to keep you giggling.
- so we kind of already heard what he's perfect first date would be... topgolf yadda yadda. but my boy is NOT letting you win. he loves dates where there is competition but letting you beat him is not flirting where he's concerned. the first time y'all go bowling he's dropping 200 on you.
"really chris?"
"huh? my bad. thought a loser said something."
-for those same reasons he loves a good game night. doesn't even matter what you're playing. he loves how excited you get when you finally win at connect four & thinks it's adorable.
-wants the date to be alllll day and you don't mind at all. he picks you up at noon and the next you know it's late at night and y'all are walking through a random park.
-and you just know he's planned this date to the t. he'd pretend like he's being all spontaneous but bro's got an literary on his notes app just in case.
- loves going to concerts with you. doesn't even matter if its one of his artists or yours. just likes sharing the experience and music. hears the song live and becomes obsessed, playing it all the time when he's on aux.
"you're such a poser. you don't even like this song."
"shut up. that was before i saw it live."
-calls EVERYTHING a date. he's coming with you to run errands, go grocery shopping, it doesn't matter. as long as he's with you and can make you smile, he's calling it a win.
-still gets cringed out doing coupley things but finds himself doing it anyway. he's finally starting to understand why people do corny shit like put locks on a fence. he's still not doing that shit but he gets it now.
Nicolas
-i feel like nick would be hard to read so it'd take you a while to even know if he likes you back or not. but then when you finally get up the courage to ask nick on a date he's like... "bitch what took you so long"
-a perfect first date for him would be something creative or something where he can learn. like a pottery class or one of those places where you make your own candle.
-he'd get really into it too. he'd be going around smelling all the scents and turning his nose up at yours.
"don't burn that shit when i come over."
"alright, fuck you-"
-but if you went to a pottery class, you'd make him something small like a jewelry tray and he'd be swooning but trying to keep it cool. he'd probably make a joke about it but it'd be his prized possession, centerstage on his dresser.
-when its his turn to plan a date, he's going somewhere scenic where you guys can take in the view and he can have an excuse to take aesthetic pics of you. even takes a cheesy picture of the two of you kissing with a landscape behind you... not that he'd ever admit that it exists.
"i swear to god, if you ever post that, i'll kill you."
"adding it to my 'nick sturniolo blackmail' folder as we speak."
-would buy one of those adventure books with the date prompts that you add polaroids to and you guys would fill it up. he'd probably be super embarrassed at how cheesy it is but too in love to care.
-loves a good classic dinner and a movie too. always watching the movie first though because he has a million thoughts he needs to share. and you're happy to listen to him ramble on and on.
"-i haven't seen anything like that since donnie darko. that shit was insane. did you see-... why are you looking at me like that."
"you're just pretty. that's all."
"... boy... we're breaking up."
but he can't stop himself from smiling at your corny ass.
-you'd def surprise him by finding a drag show and taking him. he'd be looking at you so sideways when you pull up to a nightclub but you probably actually yelp when he realizes where you are. and at the show, you already know he's blushing a deep red anytime one of the queens interact with him during the performance.
🏷️/ @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos
@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper @st4rswrld @thvvluvr @sturnssmuts @littlenerdybee @sturniolossss @iloveneilperry @eclipzz @sstvrnioloo @chrissloverrrrrrr16
@clemlament @maryx2xx @fwskullz
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old-lorarri · 5 months
Text
꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 ─ 𝐃𝐑𝟑 ˚₊· ꒱꒱
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─ summary . . . ❨ a new york love story between a charming aussie and a grad student and it all started in a cafe ❩  ─ pairing . . . ❨ daniel ricciardo x fem! grad student! reader ❩  ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩  ─ author note . . . ❨ this is going to be a one part thing so no part two unfortunately (and please don’t ask for one) sorry as I wanna try and write something a bit more angsty but anyway enjoy! ❩
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❨ taglist | masterlist ❩
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yourinstagram . 2hrs ago
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seen by bestfriend1 bestfriend2 128 others
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CUTE BARISTA hi
COFFEE CUP GUY hi dame guess you are full of surprises
CUTE BARISTA how so?
COFFEE CUP GUY I didn't think you were gonna text me since I figured you must get guys numbers all the time
CUTE BARISTA yeah I do but you are the first guy I've ever actually texted back
COFFEE CUP GUY oh really? so it wouldn't be too bold of me to ask if we could hang out
CUTE BARISTA sure why don't you come over to my place and we can take it from there
COFFEE CUP GUY just send me the address babe and I'll be there whenever you want me
CUTE BARISTA xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx 9pm tonight see you then sweetheart
yourinstagram
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liked by bestfriend1 bestfriend2 153 others
yourinstagram he stays the night and suddenly he thinks that he can use my kitchen
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bestfriend1 GIRL-
bestfriend1 RUE WHEN WAS THIS
bestfriend1 THE FACT THIS WAS THE FIRST THING ON MY FEED WHEN I WOKE MY STUNNIN ASS UP THIS FINE NEW YORK MORNING
bestfriend2 you better be spilling in the chat about this fine ass man ⤷ bestfriend1 word or else shit is gonna get ugly ⤷ yourinstagram my timbers are shivered
friend1 okay but cooking shirtless on the morning of the first night is WILD BOLD
friend2 this guys rizz is up god dame
friend3 he got a brother?
friend4 this mf better treat you better than the last bitch you dated or else trust it will get ugly
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BABY KOALA hey baby we need to talk
MY KINDA COFFEE hi babe! yeah sure what's up
BABY KOALA I got seat for this season at alpha tauri
MY KINDA COFFEE OMG THAT'S AMAZING we shoul def celebrate you tonight
BABY KOALA that's the thing they want me to fly out tonight
MY KINDA COFFEE oh... when will I see you again
BABY KOALA that's the think I wanted to talk about I think we should break up
MY KINDA COFFEE what? daniel... did I do something wrong? is there someone else please baby talk to me
BABY KOALA no baby you did nothing wrong and there isn't anyone else but you your perfect sweetheart and don't you forget that but as much as I love you I don't want to be selfish and make you put your whole life on hold for me this has been the best couple of months of my life but my life is hectic and both of us together may not work out how we want it to you deserve a guy who is there for you 24/7 someone who isn't in another country every other week someone who can be there to watch you graduate and someone who could give you all of their hours and love you like the angel that you are so I'm setting you free I think it's best if we see other people
MY KINDA COFFEE yeah... that sounds great guess this is goodbye then daniel
BABY KOALA goodbye Y/N I love you read
yourinstagram and danielricciardopriv . 5hrs ago
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seen by charles_leclerc bestfriend1 235 others
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─ requested by . . .
anon ─ could u write a fic about daniel ricciardo where they met while he was in nyc (she’s a student in grad school there) and they spend a summer together but don’t officially get in a relationship. later, he goes back to racing when the season starts and they agree to see other people even though he loves her? (smut/fluff/angst) 🙏
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vminizzle · 1 year
Text
Doctor Jeon
pairing : doctor!jungkook x f.reader
genre : smut, fluff, ©
warnings : !CRINGY ASF! really bad description of medical stuff, pet names, make out, marking, fingering, unprotected sex, penetration, creampie
ft. bestfriend!jimin
words count : 2.8k
A/N : DING DONG! I WROTE THIS LATE LAST NIGHT. Just TRASH! I Just wanted to post something BUT kinda regretting rn, I’m really sorry😭 Istg this is my worst fic. ( I’m not gonna beg for feedbacks this time, I’m so ashamed. I think I’ll definitely think about deleting it or not later.) anyways, love you guys!!
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M RATED
“it’s ridiculous!” you exclaimed throwing your arms up dramatically.
“no it’s not!” your best friend sighed heavily, rolling his eyes at your behavior.
Well, you were talking about a “personal” issue with your best friend and let’s say it seemed useless.
"I’m a guy and i really don’t know how women’s body works.” Jimin said shrugging before grabbing a magazine on your nightstand, laying himself comfortably on your bed.
“I’m not gonna see a doctor just for that!” you crossed your arms over your chest challenging, dropping on the armchair behind you.
“that’s so…ughh..I don’t even know what to say.” you whisper-yelled to your best friend in the waiting room.
"C'mon consider it as a check-up." he suggested.
A lady approached you both, looking down at you.
“Miss, it’s your turn in a few minutes.” she smiled politely before going back to her desk.
Jimin nodded making you turned toward him abruptly.
"there is no way I’m going in there… let’s go home.”
“stop acting like a child y/n.” he scolded putting his hands on his hips as he stood up.
“First of all, this is a man doctor, a male!” you accentuated on your words standing up too.
“and?”
You opened your eyes wide as if he insulted you.
“and?! i don’t even know him, it’s gonna be so embarrassing. what am i gonna tell him? «hi doctor i think I have a problem with my boobs »” you mimicked your best friend putting your hands on your hips too.
”well, actually you may know him and, I think you won’t have to say it twice.“ he smirked before chuckling as he looked behind you.
"what?” you turned around only to be met with-
“good afternoon Doc.’” Jimin greeted him playfully.
“good afternoon Jimin.” he grinned.
“and y/n- I mean Mrs. y/l/n.” he smiled pushing the door open wider for you to come inside his office.
“good afternoon.” you said embarrassed, lowering your head.
Jimin laughed quietly pushing you inside as you glared at him.
“I’ll be waiting for you outside.” he informed before kissing your cheek.
You panicked as you watched your best friend walk away, leaving you alone.
why? why? why?
“you can sit." the doctor chuckled as he stared at your frozen figure standing near the chair.
“So, may I know what’s wrong Mrs. y/l/n?” he asked after you sat down.
“you know you can call me by your name… wait! no no no! I mean by my! my name!” you panicked looking away.
Jungkook had to bite back a laugh.
He cleared his throat before talking again.
“then, you can call me by my name too, y/n.”
ughh why is he like that? you groaned internally.
“so y/n, tell me. What’s the matter with you?”
“well hmm.” you started hesitantly.
how the fuck am I supposed to say that.
“y'know that’s my job. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” he said genuinely.
this boy.
“well, i think … I have a problem with.. with y'know.” you played with your fingers awkwardly.
“my.” you looked down.
“your?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow up.
“argh my breasts.” you sighed closing your eyes.
“see. you did it. wasn’t too difficult.” he smiled teasingly.
“Jungkook..that’s not funny.” you furrowed your eyebrows, your cheeks burning with embarrassment making him laugh cutely.
“c'mon y/n, don’t act like we’re strangers.”
“I’m not acting.” you lowered your head.
It went silent for a good minute before Jungkook decided to talk again.
“so hmm…how have you been since?” he started softly.
“good i guess. Jimin missed you.” you answered.
And this bitch didn’t tell you about Jungkook’s comeback. you thought frustrated.
“what about you?” he bit his lip expectantly.
Your heart stopped, thinking about your high school years.
Jungkook and you were so in love, you shared a lot of things together, you did a lot of things together, but you refused dating him since he had to go oversea for his studies.
You were scared of distant relationships.
A lot of stupid scenarios playing in your head, afraid that he would have cheated on you or other ridiculous stuff, even if you knew he wouldn’t had done that.
Not lying to yourself, you knew that deep down, your feelings were still present and unfortunately, they were strong.
He was your first love.
And he’s the only one.
Jungkook looked much more mature than he already was before. He was muscular now, his white coat hugging his biceps so well, his new hairstyle suited him perfectly, his tattoos complimented his hands so well, and his smile, the same bunny smile you fell in love with years ago.. he was just ethereal.
You gulped before answering.
“me too.”
Jungkook smiled happily, his ears turning red.
“i missed you too.”
You stared at each other for awhile before grimacing at a sudden pain.
“are you okay?” he asked concerned.
“well, I came here for a reason, doc’.” you sighed.
He rubbed his temples “yea that’s right. Tell me what’s wrong with your boo- breasts. I mean breasts!” you rolled your eyes before hesitating.
“too late to be shy princess.”
The nickname. The fucking nickname.
It made you feel some type of ways but you cleared your throat before talking.
“it has been some days now since they started hurting.” you looked down.
“How exactly? Can you describe the pain more?” He asked as he started typing things on his keyboard.
“I don’t really know how to describe it. I feel weird. It’s kind of not burning but y’know it’s like when you get hit somewhere sensitive.”
Jungkook hummed “a throbbing pain? A sensation of numbness?”
You nodded as he got up, rolling his sleeves up revealing his tattooed forearms.
goddamn. how to breath again?
“Come over here please.” he gestured toward the examination table.
“can you take your blouse off?” He said as you sat.
“sorry? what? no.” you gasped making Jungkook laugh.
”y/n, can I check to know what’s wrong?”
You covered your embarrassed face before whining “I’m sorry, I just.. sorry.”
Jungkook put his hands on your shoulders, bending down to whisper in your ear.
“it’s not like I’ve never seen you shirtless.”
Your heart picking up the pace, the memories coming back.
“So?” He asked expectantly making you sigh as you started unbuttoning your blouse slowly.
Jungkook gulped, eyes following your hands down until you took it off completely.
He cleared his throat, his heart beating too fast for his liking.
“May I?“ he lifted his hand in front of you.
You nodded shyly letting him place his big hand slowly on your covered breast.
You bit your bottom lip, feeling the same sensation you felt some years ago.
You shuttered your eyes tightly. On his side, Jungkook swallowed hard, his fingers gentle on the side of your breast.
“ok I’m gonna push lightly at some places and you’ll tell me where it hurts, yea?” you nodded looking at his beautiful hand on your skin.
stop y/n.
Jungkook dig two fingers in the soft flesh of your boob at your right side. You winced a little, not only because of the slight pain but the way his fingers on your skin made goosebumps raised on you.
You hated the way your body reacted to his touches. But he noticed it too, making him smile a little.
”Can you remove your bra please?“ You gasped as you opened your mouth wide.
“no there is no way I’m doing that Jungkook.”
He sighed still smiling “y/n, I’m here to help you and do my job.”
You groaned throwing your head back, revealing your cleavage more, his eyes couldn’t help, the view too tempting to not look.
His hands went to your sides stroking them softly.
“y/n look, I’m not forcing you. Just wanted to check if you had any bruise or anything.”
You didn’t know how but a sudden wave of confidence hit you.
“you remember how to do it?”
You looked at him in his eyes, taking a deep breath before pulling him by the collar of his shirt, his lips too tempting to be kissed.
“can I?”
Jungkook kissed you immediately, sucking gently on your bottom lip making you moan.
“I missed you so much.” he said putting his forehead on yours, thumbs caressing your cheekbones.
“I missed you so much too.”
Jungkook spread your legs making room for him as he step inbetween them, grabbing your chin closing the gap between you two.
You folded your arms around his neck, combing your fingers through his hair as you pulled him down to capture his lips in a soft kiss.
His hands have found their way on your bare thighs, his thumbs brushing against the smooth skin.
Your heart started pounding as he grabbed you by your hips pulling you closer to him.
He pulled away from the kiss, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand.
“you’re so beautiful. you didn’t change at all, just got prettier.” he said licking his lips.
“can say the same to you.” you muttered.
His hands were still on your thighs, fingers drawing little random patterns.
Heart beating faster, you hesitantly grabbed one of his hand dragging it up slowly to the hem of your skirt. You needed him right now. You missed him way too much to not take the opportunity to have him touch you again.
Jungkook looked at you astonished, his eyes darkening as you continued sliding his hand up under your skirt.
He bit his bottom lip, hand gripping at the flesh ”are you sure?“
You nodded letting go of his wrist.
His hand got higher, reaching the hem of your panties. He caressed your lightly covered core gently with his fingertips making you gasp softly.
Jungkook’s lips found your neck, peppering little kisses on the smooth skin.
Your hands flew to his hair, tugging at the locks.
“Jungkook.“ you whimpered as you felt his fingers tug on your panties.
“can I take these off?“
”please yes.” you looked at him mouth ajar as your thoughts ran wild into your head.
He slid the underwear down your legs as he crouched down.
Past your ankles, he stood up slowly, putting the panties in his blouse pocket.
He came back between your thighs, his fingers went on your skin caressing their way under your skirt, he started teasingly sliding two fingers up and down your core.
You sighed, furrowing your eyebrows as his touches made you weak.
You felt one of his finger poke at your entrance before entering you slowly.
”f-fuck Jungkook.”
He smiled satisfied, the way his name dripped from your tongue made blood rush down there.
The tightness of his pants getting uncomfortable.
He added another finger, going in and out slowly.
When he felt you tighten around his fingers, he pulled them away, lifting them up to his mouth before sucking them clean.
”ew.” you whined disgusted. “now why would you do that?”
“and why?!“ you groaned frustrated as you felt your high fading.
”why? I want you to cum around me baby.” he whispered before unbuckling his belt impatiently.
Jungkook pulled his pants and boxer down at once, freeing his painful erection from its confinement.
”f-fuck.“ he groaned.
”look what you did. You made me hard fuck.“ he breathed out.
You hooked one of your legs around his waist pulling him closer to you.
He held his cock in his hand, pumping it a few times before positioning himself at your entrance.
He rub the head of his cock teasingly between your glistening lips before slapping it on your throbbing clit making you whimpered loudly.
“Jungkook please!”
He put his hand over your mouth silencing you.
“shh. baby you’ll have to stay quiet, hm?“
You nodded eagerly making him smirk.
”You ready?“ he whispered as he started penetrate you.
“yes.” you breathed out.
Jungkook entered you slowly, making you threw your head back. He waited for you, to check if you’re still fine. Looking at any sign of discomfort before continuing.
”you can m-move.”
He started moving, going in and out of you slowly, feeling your warmth.
You felt every inch of his cock, the vein on the side rubbing against your wall.
“you feel so good around me baby.. so good fuck.”
He shifted a bit, adjusting himself as he grabbed one of your thigh higher.
The angle helped him hit deeper, brushing your g-spot making you cried out softly, your hands clenching at his shirt.
”I c-can’t.” you whimpered, feeling your orgasm approaching.
”are you near princess?“ he asked as he sucked softly on your neck, decorating the soft skin with red little marks.
You nodded, tears threatening to fall.
Jungkook’s hand travelled down between your bodies, finding your bud of nerves rubbing little circles on it to add stimulation.
The touches were enough to push you over the edge of your climax.
”Jungkook I’m gonna-”
He kissed you, holding your cheek gently.
You let the tears slid down your cheeks as you came around him.
It felt too good, the pleasure too overwhelming.
The way your walls convulsed around him made him feel dizzy.
”ahh sh- fuck.” he groaned burying his head into the crook of your neck.
He couldn’t hold on any longer as he came inside you, filling you up to the brim, your velvety walls still clenching tightly around his throbbing cock.
You let your head dropped on his chest breathlessly, his hand coming up on your head, stroking your hair gently.
”I love you y/n.”
You looked up at him smiling shyly.
“I love you too koo.”
”I missed you so much. Really. I’ve thought about you a lot when I was in Canada..” he said breathlessly as he wiped your tears away.
“you’ve never called me.” you rolled your eyes sniffing.
”please let’s talk about all that later.“ he sighed deeply.
Jungkook pulled out slowly making you hiss, feeling the warm fluid dripping out of you. He went to grab some tissues at his desk, helping cleaning you up, then the table.
”when was the last time you were on your period?“ he asked out of nowhere.
“what?“ you asked confused.
”I mean, for the consultation. I need to know.” he replied.
“Oh yea. hmm, it was last month if I remember correctly, 3 weeks?”
”Can I still check? you didn’t take your bra off. Or you rather tell me if there is any-”
”y-yea, go on.” you cleared your voice.
After checking if there were any bruises or anything abnormal, he helped you getting dressed.
”well, nothing too bad. It’s on hormone levels.” he started.
“you probably know that a few days before your period starts, both breasts can swell and become tender, painful. During the menstrual cycle, various hormones cause changes in breast tissue that can lead to pain or discomfort in some women.” he continued, making some gestures with his hands as he explained.
“(ok guys, I’ll just stop here because I don’t want to say bullshit lmao, pls act like I did write an amazing explanation or something like that please. I’m sorry.) *But if it hurts more than usual, you will have to come back but like I told you it’s due to your period that starts soon.” he finished before tapping your thigh softly.
He helped you down the examination table, your legs a bit shaky. You walked to his desk, then sat on the chair facing him.
”I’ll prescribe you some pain killer.” he said writing down on a sheet.
“Is your phone number still the same?“
”yes.“ you replied instantly.
Jungkook took his phone, tapping on the screen. You heard your phone vibrating, signaling that you got a message.
Obviously, it’s from him, you thought before you rolled your eyes.
You took it ouf of your bag but before you could see what he texted you, he snatched it from your hands.
”yo what the-“
“aw you still have my number after all these years.” he smiled staring at the screen.
“and the nickname… it’s still the same..”
Your cheeks burned up as you got up trying to take it back.
“C’mon give it back Jungkook!”
He gave it back to you before getting up.
“here.” he handed you the prescription sheet.
“thanks.”
“I’m just doing my job.” he smiled playfully.
“do you have sex with all your patients doctor Jeon?” you raised an eyebrow making him roll his eyes.
“nah just my soon-to-be girlfriend.” he replied cheekily.
You smiled before slapping his arm “idiot.”
“wait. Can I have my panties back?” you asked as you stopped in your tracks.
Jungkook tilted his head to the side, taking the underwear out of his pocket lifting it up.
“these? hm I’ll give it back to you tonight princess.” he smirked.
“I’m not gonna walk out of here without my panties Jungkook.” you exclaimed.
“oh you’ll have to, love.” he opened the door pushing you gently outside.
“you don’t have the right to do that!” you whisper-yelled to him.
“bye, see you tonight.” he smiled maliciously, gesturing his next patient to come inside his office.
“wait Jungkook no-”
“sorry i have a patient.” he shrugged before closing the door.
A/N : i really want to apologize for this. I don’t know what it is 💀 pls forgive me guys.
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half-oz-eddie · 28 days
Text
🎁 ❤️
Max was not supposed to be in Billy’s room. She knew better. 
But it was 7:30 AM and she really wanted to leave something for him on his desk. 
She quietly crept in, sliding her slim frame through the ajar door and tiptoed to his desk to gently place something on it. 
“The hell’re you doing?” A groggy voice startled her. 
She should’ve expected the hyper-vigilant teen to wake up while she was there. 
“I was—I just wanted t-to leave something here for you.” She nervously stammered. 
He narrowed his sleepy eyes at her. “Give it here.” 
Max slowly walked over, handing the surprise to Billy. 
It slowly exchanged hands and Billy examined it closely. 
“I-I know you don’t have a record player but I saw the posters in your room and I thought you’d want to—like—have something to collect. So Steve drove me to a record store to get you a vinyl.”
He stared at the Mötley Crüe vinyl for a few moments, then handed it back to Max. “Put it on my desk.” He said as he laid back down. 
“Y-you don’t like it?” She frowned. 
“Never said I didn’t. I’m just tired.”
Max slowly walked back over to his desk and set the vinyl down. 
“Why’d you buy that for me?” He asked. 
“Don’t you know what today is? It’s your—“
“I know that.” He said in a snippy voice. “I’m asking why the hell you bought me anything. You never cared before.”
“Well, last year, I tried to buy you something with my allowance and my mom said Neil would be mad if I used my money on you, so she wouldn’t take me to the mall.”
“And you said Harrington drove you? Why the hell did he do that?” Billy continued to question.
“We had a long talk about that night at the Byers and we came to a realization of how unfair we were being to you. So I—I didn’t wanna lose you forever. We don’t get along but like, we had our moments, where we’d talk to each other a little bit. Now we don’t speak at all.”
“You stabbed me with a needle.”
“You were gonna kill Steve if I didn’t stop you.” Max sighed. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“You don’t need to be. But whatever, guess I’m sorry too.”
Max smiled.  “I’ll let you sleep. Happy birthday.”
She closed the door behind her upon exiting and went back to her bed.
It was nearly 11AM when Max woke up again. Neil and Susan were already at work. Susan left a note behind with instructions for heating up lunch. 
This year, there was no school on Billy’s birthday, so Max decided to heat up the lunch for both of them. 
She set down two plates just in time, as she heard Billy resurfacing from his room.
He stepped through the quiet house and stopped by the table, glaring at Max.
“Nobody’s home?”
“No. Mom left lunch for us, so I heated it up.”
Billy looked down at the chicken Parmesan. Susan normally only made it for holidays, but Easter wasn’t until Sunday. 
Max figured it was Susan’s subtle way of giving Billy a little something special for his birthday.
“There were some breadsticks too.” Max mentioned, grabbing them out of the toaster oven. “I put some of that garlic and herb stuff on them because I remembered that you like it.”
Billy glared at Max as she started eating. 
“What?” She asked with her mouth half full.
Billy shrugged and rolled his eyes. “Nothin’. Forget it.” 
They ate in complete silence. Billy finished first and got up from the table without a word.
Max didn’t expect much conversation from Billy, but he wasn’t as unpleasant as he could’ve been, so it was fine.
She washed the dishes and sat back down at the table reading a magazine when Billy returned once more with his jacket on.
“C’mon.”
“Where’re we going?”
“Somewhere. I can’t leave you here by yourself. Susan and dad would bitch about it.”
Max grabbed her jacket and slipped on some shoes, then followed Billy to his car.
The drive was brief and they stopped at the quarry.
To Max’s surprise, Billy invited her to sit on the hood of his car. He offered her a soda and cracked open a beer for himself.
They clinked their cans together and drank as they quietly watched the early afternoon scenery. 
“It’s surprisingly warm today.” Max initiated small talk. 
“I think the groundhog saw its shadow—or didn’t see its shadow—or whichever meant a late winter.”
“It’s…when he sees his shadow.” She paused. “I think.”
Billy snorted. “Why are we listening to a big ass rodent about the weather anyway?”
Max softly giggled. “Tradition, I guess.”
“Yeah, well, it’s stupid.” He mumbled in response as he brought the beer can to his lips.
Silence returned again, and Billy glanced over at Max.
“So y’said Harrington drove you to the record store. That’s like…across town.”
“I wasn’t alone with him, if that’s what you’re worried about. Dustin and Lucas went too.”
Billy quickly responded with a scoff. “What’s so great about Harrington anyway? You defended him over me that night—“
“Is that what made you so upset?”
“No. But you defended him and I’m asking about it.”
“Well, he’s really nice. He looks after all my friends, everyone around town knows him and his family—“
“So he’s just the opposite of me.”
“W—I—I mean, you’re nice sometimes. You’ve been nice to me 4 times and I remember them all.”
Billy shrugged. “Yeah. Anyway, thanks for the gift, shitbird.”
“You better get me something nice for my birthday too!”
“When is it again? April…may…tember…”
“July.” She snapped.
Billy laughed. “I know when your birthday is, don’t be such a baby.”
“I’m not.” She fired back. “You’re just a jerk.”
“And?”
Max scoffed. “You’re so lucky it’s your birthday or I’d—“
“You’d what?”
Max chugged her soda and tossed the empty can at Billy.
“You piece of shit. You’re dead!”
Max jumped off the hood of Billy’s car and ran off laughing, with Billy not too far behind. 
When Billy finally caught up to Max, he chugged his beer and tossed the can at Max.
The out of breath siblings glared at one another, before their expressions softened and they began to laugh.
“Hey, d’you wanna go to the movies or something?” Max offered. “I’ll buy you popcorn.”
“And I get to pick the movie?”
Max groaned. “Fine.”
“You know I pick better movies than you do, anyway.”
“Bullshit! Your movie choices suck ass!”
The two bickered all the way back to Billy’s car. Sure, this was a nice day, but Billy couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t stop thinking about Steve Harrington driving his little sister across town to get him a gift.
‘Maybe I should thank him too…’
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peachesofteal · 7 months
Note
read dd zombie au as a horror and zombie enthusiast and I had to say this-
what if darling was bitten but somehow "immune"?
she gets bit, symptoms come in but strangely she doesn't turn. she hungers like a zombie but the thought of hurting someone brings her back.
johnny and simon are kinda happy. you're not a zombie! yay! but the blueish bite on your shoulder says otherwise. at night, they tie your hands to your waist and bind your mouth shut, but apart from sleepy shuffling and grumbling, you don't seem to want to eat them.
the bagged mre's they try to feed you make you gag unless it's suspicious patties, so they guessed you were hungry, just not enough to try to eat them.
strongly believe that johnny treats you like a child. hand feeds you your meals that you reluctantly chew on, washes your hair and braids it ( he knows you hate waking up with tangled hair ) even brushes your teeth for you. he does this because you're too weak and tired to do it yourself ( no he doesn't. he does it because he hates seeing you like this, wishes he could cure you, but he can't. so he makes sure you eat and drink. he needs you. )
simon has seen so many people die to the virus that it feels unreal to him. he's still waiting for you to suddenly snap at him. however, watching the way you stare at him and johnny like you genuinely are there, it reassures him. he tries to talk, have conversations with you, make sure you remember. he despises having to leave you, though. he feels that if he take his eyes off you for a second you might pass or turn.
by the two week mark, you're getting better. the dark circles under your eyes are fading and the hollow dent of your cheeks is getting fuller. the mre's still make you gag, but it seems you'd rather eat those than a squirrel.
there's hope, they think. but if people find out you're immune... they'll try to take you away.
you can't leave them. they'll make sure no one takes you.
BITCH (affectionately) the way this is so fucking good. I LOVE a caretaking fic (clearly) and a protective Simon and Johnny. Love the idea of them on the run, hiding you, protecting you from those who are hunting immunes. Honestly could be an entire book. This scratches my itch so well. Love your brain.
Johnny just wants to take care of you. He knows you’re still in there, knows you’d be so distraught if you realized how filthy they’d let you become, so he takes him time leading you down to the creek by the campsite. He uses one of the t shirts they’ve been using as a washcloth to sponge you clean, humming sweetly to gentle you as you flinch against the water. Your skin is starting to turn back to its normal color now, a recent development that they both feel good about, and you’ve become more sensitive to temperature, occasionally shivering against the chilled cloth. Simon keeps watch, and you watch too, tracking Johnny’s hands with sluggish eyes and a half open mouth, tongue flicking between your teeth.
If he didn’t know any better, he’d say you’re preparing to take a bit out of him-
“Just gon’ brush yer teeth, darling.” He cradles your jaw with strong fingers and your brow furrows, confused when he pops your mouth wide, the little toothbrush you packed for yourself when you evacuated lightly scrubbing across your bottom teeth.
“Be careful, Johnny.” Simon warns, but he clucks his tongue.
“She’s alright. Cannae hurt me.” He knows you wouldn’t. You already would have, at night. Already would have turned on them, ripped their jugulars free with your teeth when they slept.
But you wouldn’t. Because you’re still in there. You’re still darling.
Once he’s done, fixed your hair so that it’s up but not weighing your scalp down, ensured it’s in place how you like, he passes you to Simon so he can make dinner.
Simon walks patrol at this time, and you go with him, listlessly walking at his side.
“D’ya remember last summer, when we all went to that carnival? You were so excited. Made Johnny and I play that bloody ring game against one another. You were so chuffed, I swear I can still hear you giggling when Johnny beat me the first time.” You moaned in response, something that didn’t sound quite like words, but more positive to negative.
Something catches his eye. A deer in the woods. A doe. Sizable. He glances from you, to it.
“Darling.” He holds your shoulder, trying to jog your gaze. “Darling, I need you to stay here.” He doesn’t want to leave you, but if he can get closer, he can get a clean shot off. You stare at him, and he sighs. “Alright.”
He makes it ten meters before the brush rustles behind him, the sight of you lumbering slowly towards where he’s crouched. You’re staring past him, watching doe with a glazed over look, and he tenses.
Once you get to his side, you look down to where he’s kneeling behind a bush, and then you start to, painfully slow, crouch beside him, fingers lightly brushing against his thigh.
You look at him, and then at the deer with a grunt. The hope that blooms in his heart is infectious, and he can’t fight it. He won’t.
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Weeks later, they’re on the road when they come across a group of others.
You’ve improved, greatly, but your ability to speak never came back. You can’t talk, only point and make little noises here and there, and your fine motor skills are still struggling, (Johnny is still brushing your teeth for you, and feeding you. He doesn’t complain, they both have always loved taking care of you) and your pace is very slow, like you’re sore, and always tired. Simon is careful to go easy, not wanting to do anything to stress you or make your condition worse.
The bite mark on your neck has never gone away. It’s a scar now, rough and raised flesh like a fucking beacon on your skin. They usually keep something tied to it, but for some reason on this day, you had pulled it free, and they never noticed.
But the others did.
“Is that a bite?” One of them says, and Simon tenses, positioning himself in front of you, Johnny pulling you into his chest, protective arm across your shoulders.
“No.” Simon tells them, but they don’t buy it. One them stares at you, greed dripping from his gaze.
“Heard there were immunes out there somewhere. NHS is offering a big payday for one alive. Or dead.” He licks his lips, and Simon shakes his head.
“Trust us. Ye dinnae want to do this.” Johnny calls, but the group is already staring at you like you’re worth your weight in gold.
There’s five of them, versus Simon and Johnny, but they like the odds.
They’ve got bullets in three before you even realize what’s happening, Simon’s blade buried in the flesh of another’s neck in a flash, Johnny pressing his weight into the last one on the ground.
“He’ll tell others.” He spits over his shoulder, and Simon nods.
He will. And they can’t allow that. Can’t allow anyone to know about you.
The last thing the man sees is Johnny’s hands around his neck, and you watching half interested over his shoulder, half bored.
440 notes · View notes
kiachiako · 1 year
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stars, moons, & other celestial bodies | j.jh
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pairing | jaehyun x female!reader
synopsis | With your fizzy drinks and vinyls in tow, you’re determined to make the most of your summer before the start of your first year at university. Everything’s seemingly perfect; humid afternoons with your closest friends, late-night mixers at your local alumnis' estates, and sleeping in to ungodly hours. What you didn’t predict, however, was your brother making the early trip home to surprise you with a certain someone — namely, his best friend since childhood — following closely behind. His unexpected appearance throws you off, and suddenly, your summer is filled to the brim with his presence. You’re finally able to taste the idea of mature love, but is it really all that it’s made out to be?
content | brother!taeyong, retro-themed au, angst, fluff, coming of age, language warning, suggestive, mentions and consumption of alcohol/drugs
wc | 26.7k
song | delicate — taylor swift
a/n | for @hyuckmov and @rrxnjun, who kept me sane while writing this monster :D
...
The first week of summer before your freshman year of university is defined by sticky ‘n sweet cherry cola, rides around the abandoned carousel with your friends, and “borrowing” quarters out of your brother’s Cadillac to insert into the jukebox of the local diner; break has been this way since as long as you could remember. It's a familiar itinerary, one that plays back routinely every school break.
You’ve grown up without even realizing, your teenage days spent juggling academic work and getting into stupid situations with Mark and Chaewon trickling down to a close. This conclusion really hit you during an epiphany on a sweltering night after high school graduation. 
It occurred in the midst of humid sepia air, the three of you still in your graduation caps and gowns as your bodies lay splayed across the asphalt leading down to your street. With the absence of cars coming down the wide road, it was perfectly rational to lay side by side in the middle of the cul-de-sac. The ground was simply the best place to ponder your thoughts and get lost in swirling memories now that university lay too close on the horizon; the sheer size of the sky seemed to mock your trio as you watched the clouds roll on by in their mismatched shapes and harrowing wisps. 
A cigar — one comically too big for his face — hung between Mark’s fingers as he pushed his body to flop over your arm, the thing no doubt “borrowed” from the bottom of his father’s office drawer.
“Thank the Lord I’ll never have to see you bitches again,” he had sighed in pretend relief, blowing a tunnel of smoke into the side of your face as you pushed his warm skin off of yours. Chaewon snorted from beside you.
“Please, as if you’ll last a day without us at uni,” she retorted, rolling over onto her stomach and pulling a face at Mark’s teasing words. “I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve saved your life over this past month alone.”
“Yeah?” Mark grinned, supporting his upper body with his forearms as he turned to look at her over your relaxed figure. “Enlighten me.” She subsequently raised her eyebrows at him.
“Might I remind you of the time you got stuck at the drive-through cinema at 2am because you had locked yourself out of your car? And guess whose asses had to haul yours back home two hours away,” Chaewon pointed an accusing finger at Mark, her tone joking as she glared at said boy. He opened his mouth to say something but she held up a finger to her mouth in a shushing motion, stopping him. “And. Let’s not forget last week,” Mark furrowed his eyebrows, as if trying to recall which out of all the dumb decisions he had made was about to be relived, “when Kang Yujin pushed up on you during that one house party, you got a hard on from just that, and we had to cover for you-”
Mark shot up abruptly, leaning over you to slap a hand over Chaewon’s mouth before rushing to defend himself.
“But she was so hot, Chae, you wouldn’t understand,” he whined at her, frowning at you to do something and sympathize with him. It was expected by now, the regular petty and half-assed arguments making your friendship that much stronger.
As they continued bickering back and forth, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift away back into the clouds, the setting sun soaking them with a blazing, burnt umber. You would be going to college soon, and that meant no Mark, no Chaewon, and no parents to keep you sane. It was strange to imagine not spending every waking moment with your two best friends, and even stranger to think that going to different schools would mean no more daily drama fill-ins and midnight convenience store runs.
But after all, you had done it once, and you hoped you could do it again.
When your older brother Taeyong left for university a few years ago, it had practically shattered you. Sure, you found him incredibly annoying at times (still do) and had a constant vendetta against the man, but when the moment came to hug him goodbye, you just couldn’t bring yourself to let go. He had shown you the ins and outs of adolescence and given you the attention you craved when your parents couldn’t. He taught you how to take care of yourself, how to look in the mirror and recognize your worth, how to know your own limits, and how to realize that high school boys weren’t shit. He was always the first to get to the hospital when you had gotten hurt at school, and most important of all, he was with you throughout the highs and lows growing up.
If Taeyong leaving home had taught you anything, it was that time moves too fast — and it’ll only move faster as you get older. You know that your life is about to enter Round 2, and this time without anyone to hold your hand as you enter an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people.
But it’s not over just yet.
Your best friends would never let that happen, and you recognize this now as your golden trio sits in your town’s local record shop, with ceiling fans whirring above you as the cool storefront protects you from the blazing summer heat.
It’s after-hours but the sun still burns bright into the late afternoon. You recline in the cashier chair as Chaewon flips the 'open' sign closed and makes her way back to you and Mark, the latter sitting against the wall with a variety of bottles surrounding him on the checkered floor. 
He’s in an odd position, and you just know his mother would flip if she saw him with this much alcohol on a wednesday afternoon (at least it’s not a Sunday after mass, but she definitely doesn’t need to know that he’s been there, done that already). Mark tests out new concoctions every week, using the record store as his work space; the owner’s never in town and barely any customers come in to buy records these days, so there’s no one to stop him. Chaewon raises her eyebrows as she eyes the newest addition to his special menu.
“I’m not even gonna ask,” you say as he swirls the amber liquid around in a clean whisky bottle. Mark whistles at his creation, impressed, before holding it up to you and shaking it tauntingly. It smells slightly floral, the sharp flavors of absinthe and cognac making your nose scrunch.
“You’re just mad that your mixes don’t hit as hard as mine, baby.” With another swirl, he lifts the drink up to his mouth to taste. “And because you so nicely asked,” Mark smirks at you, “it’s Peychaud’s Bitters, cognac, syrup, and anise, and I give you my permission to borrow the recipe to impress your future uni friends. You’re welcome.” You shove Mark’s shoulder with your palm as he laughs at your baffled expression, body shaking with amusement while he sips away at his newest pride. 
It’s only when Chaewon reaches over to steal the bottle away from him that your phone starts ringing, startling all three of you as the name of your older brother flashes across the screen. Mark looks at you inquisitively, but you just shrug in response and press the receive button.
“Tae?” you inquire, surprised at the sudden call. “Everything okay?”
He hums at the end of the line. 
“More than okay. Guess whose plans just changed and is actually coming home today for break,” he reveals right away, and you know he’s smiling by the way his tone of voice is lilted in true Taeyong fashion.
“No fucking way,” you breathe out, eyes widening. Taeyong’s back? “Today, right now? For the entire summer? You’re actually lying- wait wait I’m coming home right now. Wait. Wait for me.”
“‘Wait wait wait,’ I’m not going anywhere sis,” he grins as he mocks you, noises of shuffling sounding out over your phone speaker. “Mom’s gonna pick me up from the airport in 30, I think. See you then?”
“Lee Taeyong! How could you not tell me,” you frown into the receiver, “I need at least three business days to prepare before seeing your face.”
“Oh, shut up would you. I have literal voicemail receipts of you crying about how much you miss me,” Taeyong retorts, topping your sarcasm. 
You sigh, rubbing your temple when you realize that Taeyong’s never gonna let your sad-drunk voicemails go. “Fine, but you better spend every single day with me.”
Taeyong protests jokingly before giving in, promising you that he’ll make up for the time you’ve missed together. With a little, love you, and more of his usual unsolicited comments, the two of you say your quick goodbyes and you turn back to your waiting friends. 
“Damn, Taeyong’s really back?” Mark looks at you in awe, his eyes shining with admiration. “He never stays for long, that’s crazy. You gotta let me come over at least once,” he pleads, hands grabbing yours. You know that your best friend looks up to your brother a ton, so you nod at him. “Sick, imma finally be able to talk music with him.”
“Wait, if Taeyong’s coming home for the entire summer,” Chaewon pauses, a knowing smile growing on her face as you groan, knowing exactly what she’s about to say next, “that means a certain Jeong Jaehyun will probably be following him back as well. And likely other kids in their year too from SNU… holy shit, the parties are gonna be literally insane this summer.” She throws her head back in elation as the realization strikes the three of you at once.
“You’re so right,” Mark covers his mouth to hide the smug grin taking over his face. He makes a heart with his hands as he observes you. “I can’t believe that I forgot Miss Y/N over here had the biggest crush on Jaehyun in high school.” You hit him on the chest in response as he absolutely loses it over your misfortune. 
“Lovergirl,” he sing-songs, adding fuel to the fire while you shove your face into your palms. Your cheeks warm on their own when your mind flash-backs to your second year of high school, your insufferable crush on your brother’s best friend surfacing memories that you had buried after they both had graduated two years ago.
“I’m leaving,” you mumble into your hands, “all you two do is make me suffer.” 
Chaewon grins at you before pulling your figure into a tight hug, tugging Mark in too by his shirt to join your little group. 
“It’s out of love,” she giggles before kissing your cheek with an exaggerated muah. Turning slowly towards Mark, he lets out a, “nope nope nope,” before scrambling away from Chaewon’s outstretched arms.
Smiling at their antics, you collect your few belongings and tuck some new records under your arm before heading out of the shop. Saluting your friends goodbye and opening the front door, you cringe at the wave of heat that seeps into the cool space. 
“Say hi to Taeyong for me, Y/N! We’ll lock up for today,” Chaewon calls out from behind the counter, sending you an air kiss when you step out into your town’s center square.
The streets buzz with life as you make the quick walk back to your house. With a brilliant sunset soaking the streets in tangerine tones and a line of quaint shops’ wind chimes fluttering beside you, you can’t bring yourself to care about the heat. The alleys you stroll down are comfy, lined with the latest pastel DeLoreans and colorful paper garlands tied along their telephone lines. It’s a complete memory lane, and your comfy suburb — filled with traditional gaewa roofs and terracotta neutrals, clay-red stained roads and gated hanoks — hold a familiarity that no other could replace. It’s the more cramped side of town, and you might envy Taeyong’s thrilling city life that you see through his social media, but nothing will ever beat home.
Your lace camisole sticks to your skin with fervor as you finally get to your own address, letting out a sigh of relief when cool shade encompasses you in the juniper-tinted light of the mudroom. Setting your brand-new records onto the kitchen floor, their faded titles peeking over thin paper sheaths, you make yourself comfortable on the floor as you hum to yourself. The house is quiet.
You put one of the new records into your player before your gaze drifts over to a stack of pictures on the tabletop, filtered evenly between stray letters and tacky postcards that your older brother has always had a knack for. 
In addition to texting and calling home every month, Taeyong made it a habit a few years ago to send you the little magazine cut-outs and mini posters that he sees on his escapades, trinkets that remind him of you. Your little kitchen-counter-collection has thinned out in the past months as your brother got increasingly busier with school and his modeling jobs, barely coming home for a few days before rushing back for castings and elite functions. Nonetheless, a little orange package addressed to you would appear at your doorstep with each change of the seasons, tinged with your brother’s cologne and topped with his messy handwriting.
Just as you place the needle on a shiny black record with Missy Elliot’s face plastered across its front, you hear the front door creak open before noises of rolling luggage and playful shouting fill the house's interior. 
“Mom, I’m not ten anymore,” you hear Taeyong whine in the higher-pitched voice he reserves solely for family, the telltale sign of his embarrassment, “I can carry my backpack myself. Promise.”
You can imagine the scene before you even see it: your brother looking away to the window as he tries to fight the smile creeping on his face, your mother on her tip-toes as she musses with her son’s hair even though he’s a head taller, and of course, your father leaning against the door with a content grin as his watches his wife’s face light up with happiness that the family is together again.
When you hear their footsteps near your seated figure on the kitchen floor, you feel your brother’s presence before you even see him. 
Taeyong stops a few paces away from you, dropping his bag carelessly on the ground before standing with his arms outstretched and eyebrows raised. With his messy hair and airport clothes still hanging off his shoulders, your brother looks like a favorite uncle at holiday dinners when he hasn’t seen his favorite niece and nephew all year.
“Aren’t you gonna come say hi to your best friend before you abandon me for your vinyls again,” he teases before crossing the threshold in three steps and embracing you fully. “It’s been a while, hmm rockstar?” 
You hum at the familiar term of endearment, sinking into his figure as your brother rocks you back and forth. You look up at him, his face looking more mature and sharp than when you saw him last.
“You gotta catch me up on that crazy life of yours, yeah? We have all summer.”
Nodding contently, you follow your brother and parents into the dining room for dinner before settling back into the feeling of having four people at home again. Just like the old days, before Taeyong left, where your worries were limited and you allowed yourself to be childish.
If anything makes you glad you’re alive, it’s being able to wake up at 2pm in the afternoon on a Thursday and feeling you just gained ten years. It’s truly a blessing, and if you were a bit more religious, you’d be thanking God right now for no school and black-out curtains.
Quickly getting ready, you give one last glance at yourself in the mirror before rushing downstairs to see if anyone’s home still. To your surprise, you catch Taeyong right as he’s opening the door to the basement. 
“So she’s alive,” he calls out with an approving nod, surprised that you actually managed to wake up before the sun sets once again. You roll your eyes as you pull cereal in front of you on the kitchen table. The two of you are back to your old ways in a matter of hours, making fun of each other at every chance you get.
“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to enjoy life, Tae,” you shrug, grabbing leftovers from the fridge. He simply tsks at you before walking over to affectionately ruffle your hair, drawing a complaint from you about messing it up.
“Anyway, some of my old friends are coming over today to catch up. We’re probably gonna be downstairs for a while so just let them in the front when they come,” your brother relays, moving back towards the basement when you throw up an okay sign. He gives you a knowing look. “You’re always welcome to join, you know. They all love you.”
You crinkle your nose at the idea. Sure, you’re pretty familiar with most of Taeyong’s high school friends, but you really aren’t too keen on the idea of spending your afternoon with a bunch of older boys when you could be hanging out with Mark and Chaewon.
“I’m okay. You guys have fun, though.”
Resuming your attention on your food, you open the front door a couple times over the next hour for said boys. Their features chiseled, styles changed, and voices a bit deeper, they’re all caught by surprise when you open the door for them (Yuta’s inability to recognise you at all really takes the cake). You suppose that a lot can change in two years.
After the seventh ring of the doorbell, you sigh in exasperation before making your way to the front once again. You grumble under your breath before opening the door, the bitter expression wiping right off your face when you see the two figures in front of you.
“Johnny!”
“Y/N,” the familiar boy exclaims, his towering stature enveloping you in a warm hug before pulling back and examining your growth. “Look who’s all pretty and grown! You look so much like Taeyong now that it’s scary,” he beams at you while turning your face side to side with his hands, and you can’t help but return it. If anyone was as much of an older brother figure as your real one was, it would be Johnny. 
“Hey,” a voice sounds out besides him after a few moments of Johnny’s compliments, startling you, and your eyes finally flick over to the subject of your teenage years’ daydreams. Your heart floods with a jittery feeling when he reaches out to give you a hug. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.” 
Jeong Jaehyun hasn’t changed a bit since you last saw him at your brother’s graduation. 
His hair is a bit longer now, dark brown curls shimmering gold in the sunlight and his ears now adorned with more silver studs and rings. But the sun-kissed freckles dusting his nose, the deep-set dimples, the starry eyes — they’re exactly the same as you remember.
He’s still breathtaking.
Johnny bursts your little moment as he grabs your arm to lead you back into your house, pulling both you and Jaehyun along with him to the basement entrance. 
Even though you’re painfully aware of your fingers nervously playing with the bracelets on your wrist, it’s true that these boys practically watched you grow up. Even when you look at a certain brown-eyed boy, your whole world feels like it's stopping. Even when your stupid childhood crush on your brother’s best friend was supposed to be gone by now. You know them, and they know you.
After Johnny and Jaehyun disappear down the stairs with a small goodbye and the invitation to join them once again, you head back up to your own room, collapsing onto your bed and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across your ceiling. 
You remember your brother and Jaehyun setting them up for you many years ago, their young figures using your bed as leverage to stick them on when you were still too short to reach. You had handed each star carefully to the boys, making sure the adhesive side was up before telling them where to place each one. They waited patiently for you to give them every star until the whole box was empty, the three of you high fiving before you had thanked them enthusiastically. Taeyong had simply pinched your cheek and said, “anything for my baby sister,” before pulling Jaehyun away to play another video game in the living room. 
Taeyong was a kind older brother, never complaining when your mother told him to bring you with him and his friends on their little adventures. Occasionally he found you annoying, but his friends never minded your presence, so he couldn’t find a reason to either. You were integrated into their daily outings, the boys taking turns talking and playing games with you as the days progressed.
You think your liking to Jaehyun started then: when your young mind easily confused admiration with puppy love. Your brother’s friends were the nicest boys you had met, certainly nicer than the boys in your class at school. Jaehyun specifically always made sure you were comfortable, making silly faces at you when your eyes met across the room and remembering to bring you snacks from across the street when he got some for his best friend. He was perfect in your eyes.
When you started hanging out more with your own friends as you got older, things never really changed regarding your feelings for the boy. Your secret crush was still as prominent as ever, eyes following his mess of hair whenever he passed you in the hallway at school; it didn’t help that his name was passed around no matter what year you were. Jaehyun this and Jaehyun that, you were definitely not the only girl whose heartbeat stopped whenever he looked their way. He was polite, confident, and undeniably charming, your school’s beloved basketball team captain and a favorite of teachers: the kind of boy everyone wanted to be out of envy, but couldn’t. He was truly untouchable. Your classmates would stare at you in awe when he waved at you through the classroom entrance, telling you how lucky you were that your brother and his group were so cool and how you had guys like Jaehyun over all the time. 
But it wasn’t like it was any different at home, where he would smile at you just the same as you worked on your homework in the kitchen before retreating back into the basement with Taeyong. 
Even though fifteen year-old you thought your feelings were pretty damn strong at that time, the age gap felt a bit too gaping where kids two years older felt worlds away. By seventeen, they were already off driving and taking weekend trips, your brother’s license making leeway for nights when he and his friends wouldn’t return until sunrise. It felt a little bit like you had been left behind, and yeah, it sucked, but you decided right then and there that you could have fun without them. Taeyong’s friends weren’t necessarily yours in the first place, and you came to the realization that it might have been strange for you to be so close with them at an older age anyway.
If you were sad about not seeing Jaehyun in particular too much anymore, you tried not to show it. Your best friends — Mark and Chaewon — had always known, teasing you relentlessly when the older boy was around, but the idea of him was only a lingering thought at the back of your mind when he graduated. Your ears still perked up hearing his name in passing, but you had your own problems to consume your thoughts and started getting into a new genre of trouble with your friends; the idea of Jaehyun was supposed to be dead and buried six feet under.
So then why was he plaguing your mind like this after years of successfully not thinking about him?
You groan and throw an arm over your face.
Shit.
“My little film-maker,” a voice pops up from above you, the grinning face of your brother accompanying it as he surprises you into oblivion. You make a face up at him and offer a reluctant little wave before returning back to your camcorder, zooming in on Chaewon beside you.
You’re on the asphalt outside your house again. The air’s cooler today, a gray sheet of clouds blocking any of the sun’s rays from reaching your golden trio. With your head on Mark’s legs, he strums his guitar gently as Chaewon hums along to the familiar tunes. Her hands are busy on their own, one arm out while her other uses markers to draw a garden into her skin with washed-out blues and oranges. 
You turn the camera around to point at Taeyong, the said boy poking his tongue out before plopping down beside Mark.
“I feel like I always find you guys on the ground,” he mutters, observing the way Mark strums his instrument with care and experience. Your friend looks a little intimidated with the proximity of Taeyong leaning towards him, but he plays on nevertheless.
You shrug. “It’s more comfortable.”
“And we’re a little closer to Hell down here,” Chaewon adds on with a grin, pausing from her flesh-art to look up at Taeyong. “We’ll all be heading there soon anyway.”
“Smart girl,” he laughs out, throwing his head back to stare into the sky. He stays there for a good moment before jumping back up onto his feet and twirling a shiny set of car keys around his fingers. “Anyway, I’m afraid I’ll have to steal Y/N for a bit,” your brother fakes a trail of tears down his cheek with his fist. “Don’t miss her too much.”
“Never,” Mark smirks at you, reaching out to pat your arm affectionately when you let out an offended, Oscar worthy sob at his words. 
“Don’t have more fun with him than you do with us, babe,” she calls out as Taeyong drags you off. You salute her back before she turns back to her painting.
Stumbling behind your brother to catch up with his long strides, your eyebrows raise when you catch sight of his infamous red Cadillac parked down the winding road. You grip on tighter to your camcorder before jogging up to the passenger side, ready to swing your legs over the side of the convertible. 
“Not so fast,” Taeyong calls out, amused, as he strolls up casually to the driver's side. “We’re picking up some of the guys and Johnny already called shotgun yesterday. Take it up with him, rockstar.”
You splutter indignantly before crossing to the backseat with a huff, sinking into the car’s tan, leather seats and crossing your arms. “Not fair, Tae,” you complain at him before he starts the engine, starting off in the direction of an area you’ve never been before. “Where are we even going?”
He doesn’t answer.
Soon enough, three more bodies crowd into your brother’s car after dropping by Jungwoo’s condo, the boy squishing into the back with you as Jaehyun of all people slides into the seat on the other side of you. They offer smiles and quick greetings to you before the car takes off once again. 
His proximity hits you far harder than Jungwoo’s, and you know exactly why. You keep your head tilted away from him as you try to focus on Johnny in the front seat, who’s passionately retelling an encounter he had at the supermarket this morning. It’s incredibly hard when Jaehyun moves and his thigh touches yours, fifteen year-old you coming back to life within you and screaming all sorts of insane things at your brain. You can physically feel his warmth radiating off his skin. 
“—so we both reach out at the same time, and luckily, I snatch the crate right before her hands do. But,” Johnny pauses to look through the rearview mirror for dramatic effect, his shades glinting as the Cadillac speeds through dusty roads. “You won’t believe who those hands belonged to.”
He stills with the skill of an A-list actor, reaching up to pluck the sunnies off his face and stare right into Jaehyun’s eyes through the silver glass.
“Lim Saemi.”
Everybody has a different reaction to the name-drop, with Jungwoo and Taeyong’s gasp and your muffled noise ringing out as your eyes widen in the slightest. You try to glance at Jaehyun subtly, and his face doesn’t flicker a bit from its usual stoic expression, but you can feel him tense up next to you before relaxing a few seconds later. He appears seemingly unphased, and if you had not been watching carefully from out of the corner of your eye you would have fallen for it.
You know better, though.
“Oh? Is she back home for the summer too?” Jaehyun throws out casually, tucking his chin in his hand as he looks out through the wind. 
“Wait Jae… you didn’t know? I thought if anyone would know first, it would be you,” Jungwoo leans back, surprised at this new development. “Even I knew, and everyone knows I don’t catch onto shit.”
“It’s whatever,” Jaehyun mumbles, deflecting the weird looks he receives. He ends the conversation with two words, and the car falls into silence with the only noises being those from tires against gravel. You glance at him before staring straight forward through the dash.
You know Lim Saemi.
Who doesn’t, in all honesty. Saemi is Saemi, and you’d be the weird one if you hadn’t heard her name at least once throughout your school years. She was like straight out of a Dior catalog. With as much impact as your older brother and his posse had left, she was everything all the girls in your year wanted to be: too pretty to be unnecessarily shallow, too smart to use her looks irrationally. 
You remember Lim Saemi.
She’s two years older, like Taeyong and Jaehyun and Johnny. She was the girl who was occasionally over at your house during parties when your brother would force you upstairs, her bleached hair and delicate features drawing in everyone immediately. You remember watching from the top of the stairwell as her figure still captured attention in the darkness of winter’s pitch black nights. From your outside point of view, it was like she was the center of a spindling web that stretched throughout the bottom floor of your house; people just couldn’t help but be lured to her.
You wanted to be Lim Saemi.
Just for one day. You needed to know what it felt like to be the center of a certain boy’s affections, even though she attracted every other person’s along the way as well. She was a different type of suburban it-girl, one that everyone was sure would get snatched up into the celebrity world sooner or later with the way she carried herself.
You knew that Jaehyun and Saemi had always been “just friends” — or at least that was what they told everyone — but you could tell he had liked her throughout their high school years. How could you not, especially when you looked at him the same way he looked at her. Back then, it was more curiosity about their complicated relationship than hate fueled jealousy for you. You still couldn’t help but imagine him treating you with the affection he did with her; even as a teenager, you understood why. And ironically, as you sit in the backseat of your brother’s car with the very boy right beside you, the bubbling feeling of envy is uncomfortable in your gut.
Shaking your head out of your retrospective thoughts, you look around in confusion when the convertible starts to slow on a thinning road, towering evergreens blocking the sky from view.
Leading the car through another winding path, it emerges on the other side within acres of grassy fields and wildflower paths that circles a grandiose, central estate home. Marble blocks stretch across its stone ledges like ivy — an intimidating facade if you’ve ever seen one. Taeyong looks at you through the rearview mirror. His eyes crease in pride when he sees the wonder in yours, enraptured by the sight before you. 
“Remember when Johnny said that he’d always wanted to go to a local car show?” your brother starts, grinning at his friend beside him. “Well, yours truly saw an ad at the record shop yesterday for one just outside of town. Someone compliment me, I feel like I just made all of our afternoons a thousand times better.”
“This is actually insane, Yong,” Jungwoo breathes out, eyes widening at the unfamiliar setting. 
Retro cars of all brands and models are parked across an acre, their shiny coats glinting in the sun as masses of people linger near and talk amongst themselves. The white pillars of whoever’s home is hosting the car show serves as a gathering place for lovers to mingle, precariously held champagne flutes an ironic contrast to the grit and dirt of the event itself.
Johnny lets out a low whistle before resting his weight on the center console and lowering his sunglasses, observing the scene. 
“This is exactly my type of place. Old, rich people and hot girls.” 
“Oh my god, Johnny,” you laugh out, not at all surprised that those words came from his mouth. 
You tear your gaze away from the outside view to look at Jaehyun after hearing his embarrassed groan at Johnny’s words. To your surprise, he’s already looking at you. With his piercing gaze on your face, you look away, flustered, playing it off with a small cough.
Taeyong parks his timeless Cadillac besides others of the same nature before leaving to roam around with Johnny and Jungwoo, buzzing with excitement. It’s no surprise that they make their way over to the group of girls huddled around a vintage truck model first, their giggles ringing out across the field as they throw sly glances to the boys headed their way. You catch sight of your brother leaning towards one in particular before deciding you’ve seen enough and turning to explore by yourself.
Thrilled to be left to your own devices, you follow your own little path off to the side towards a pastel-colored Corvette that had caught your eye earlier. Circling it for a few minutes and capturing it slowly through the lens of your camcorder, you smile happily to yourself while replaying the footage in the shade of a lonely willow tree. The cool breeze brings tangs of clementines and vanilla — from where, you don’t know — as well as the unmistakable scent of petrol and cigarettes as it picks up pieces of your hair before rustling the leaves of the willow.
“Can I see?” a familiar voice startles you. You look up to see Jaehyun’s lean figure making his way over to your crouched one, gesturing to your open camera with his head tilted. “If you’re comfortable, of course,” he adds, the corners of his lips quirking up. Mouth agape slightly for a few seconds, you shake yourself out of your momentary funk and nod, thrilled at his interest.
“The colors show up really well with this lighting, especially ‘cuz I just changed my saturation settings,” you mumble, stopping yourself when you realize he probably doesn’t care that much. Tucking your knees to your chest, you wait nervously as you hand the device to him.
You think your heartbeat just about stops when he replies with a “that’s so cool” under his breath.
Jaehyun holds the camera carefully to his chest before sitting down beside you, leaning against the tree trunk before flipping through your gallery. He takes his time watching every little video clip and picture, giving you a little noise of approval every few clicks. 
You’re caught off guard when he sighs and puts the camcorder back in your lap, turning to you with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen grace his features. 
“Y/N, you seriously might be better at this shit than the literal mixed media majors at my uni,” he deadpans. Taken aback, you can’t stop the rosy warmth that creeps up your cheeks. “I’m being so for real right now. Don’t ever stop.”
You pause.
“Do you know how reassuring that is to hear, especially from you?” you say with sincerity, holding eye contact with him.
“Hmm? Really, me?”
“Yeah. It feels like I’m doing something right, like I’m not wasting my time on a fruitless hobby.” Confessing one of your biggest fears to someone who’s familiar to you but not, close to you but not — now that’s probably one of the craziest things you’ve done this week, and you do a whole lot of crazy things in a week.
Jaehyun’s expression changes with your words. He doesn’t reply for a while, just seeming to take in the world around him with only his eyes. Looking from the drooping branches of the willow to its dirt-ingrained roots, his face is cast downwards with a faint, melancholic smile.
Now the mood is ruined, you think to yourself, bitter. Why do I always do this?
Before you can change the subject and move on from your awkward burt-out, he clears his throat. 
“You know, I admire you a lot Y/N. You and Taeyong,” he starts, the slim chain around his neck glittering in the afternoon sun when he turns back to you. “Both of you have always been unafraid to pursue the arts, even though I know how your strict parents are about future careers and all that. I wish I had the courage to just… do what I like instead of being a pushover with my dad. Maybe I would be doing music with your brother instead of barely living day by day in pre-med.”
His usual confident eyes are tinged with regret and a little vulnerability as he ruffles his hair in the wind. You tilt your head at him, trying to come up with comforting words when you aren’t so sure if you’re qualified to give him advice in the first place.
“Well… I admire you a lot, Jaehyun. You’ve always been that one person who consistently looks like they have their life in check, someone who’s able to put their all in everything that they do. It’s really a quality to be proud of,” you say to him honestly. “I think you’ll do well wherever you end up. So don’t worry too much, okay?”
The boy stares at you like no one’s ever said that to him, and no one has; even if this might be a passing comment for you, it’s something that he feels relief to finally hear.
“Thanks.” He says it so quietly that you almost miss it, but you can hear the gratefulness in his voice nevertheless. You both look away for a few seconds when a brilliant yellow bird flutters past the two of you, settling on the ground in front to peck at a white speck in the soil. “Pretty,” he mumbles under his breath, blinking at the animal.
And with that, Jaehyun shakes his head a bit before resuming back to his relaxed demeanor. He lets out a breath of air and runs his tongue over his teeth. 
“Sorry for getting so deep all of a sudden,” he apologies, sheepishly rubbing his neck as you let out a little laugh.
“No, it’s nice to hear that the Valentine Boy has troubles too,” you tease lightly, recalling the God-like aura he used to carry 24/7 when you were younger and the nick-name that followed him around as a result. Jaehyun visibly cringes at your words, no doubt getting high school flashbacks.
“Not that,” he replies, embarrassed. “Anyway, I feel like I haven’t gotten the chance yet to ask you how you’ve been these past few years.” You glance up at him in surprise. He sounds strangely sincere for someone you weren’t that close with out of your brother’s friends, and the confusion must show on your face because he finds it in himself to clarify. “Oh come on, Y/N. I feel like we’ve known each other since forever but I’ve missed a crucial part of your growing up. You’re like a whole different person now.”
“I’d hope so,” you lament, fiddling with your camcorder. “I’ve gone through too much shit to be the same as sixteen-year old me.” Jaehyun laughs out loud at your answer, knowing exactly how you feel as someone who was once a fresh, high school graduate.
“Yeah? Well it seems like just yesterday when you were complaining about being bored after school from not having enough homework—” he stumbles over his words when you push his body with a light shove, the boy barely able to get breaths in with how much he’s laughing at your past cluelessness of how hard high school would really be.
“None of you guys warned me about the horror of calculus, so that is not my fault Jaehyun,” you pout, shaking your head at him.
“So it’s my fault?” he smiles, questioning your statement.
“Yes.” A lie.
“And I’m the reason why you almost failed second semester math?”
“Yes.” Another lie. Wait. “What— how do you even know about that?” You demand, incredulous. Jaehyun just raises his eyebrows and hides his growing grin behind his hand. “Fucking Lee Taeyong.”
He looks overjoyed at your seething, playfully poking out his bottom lip in a mock-frown before getting up and dusting off his pants. Offering a hand to you, Jaehyun uses his strength to pull you to your feet; you’re hyper-aware of the warmth of his palm as your hands linger for a millisecond before he pulls away. 
I’m so screwed, you think to yourself, blinking at the sky with fervor. Shaking your head, you tuck your hand to your side and try not to think of his skin on yours.
“They’re finally done flirting,” he notes with a hum, making an acute observation as you both spy the three other boys heading back to the car, their reluctant forms obvious when you see one girl hold up her hands in a ‘call me’ sign.
Smirking, you skip ahead of Jaehyun before turning back and waving your wallet at him.
“25000 won that we’ll see one of those girls walk out of Tae’s room tomorrow morning,” you chant as Jaehyun jogs to catch up with you. Chuckling, he pushes your wallet away.
“Nah, that man doesn’t give a fuck about the time of day. 25000 that she’s gonna be at your house in twenty,” he counters, snorting when you gag at the thought.
You can’t help but light up at his content face; this feels like this is the first time you’ve ever had a real, honest to goodness, conversation with him as a young adult.
And you’re in trouble, because you think you like it more than you should.
“I did it,” Chaewon confesses over the phone, the sound of a knife against a chopping board from her end revealing her current position.
“What,” you inquire, “you finally passed your license test?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Never.” You flash a wicked grin at the sheet music in your hands, shuffling through the never-ending leaflets. 
When Taeyong had said he’d pay you to organize his papers, you clearly weren’t thinking straight enough to be saying yes to this hell. He’s been out for an hour already and not even a third of the pile is sorted through. You slump forward on the couch and shake out your tired hands, groaning when your knuckle hits the coffee table with a painful thump.
“For your information, I don’t need to drive. Hot girls take public transportation,” she retorts with a humph.
“Can’t argue with you there, passenger princess.”
“Oh please, I can literally feel the sarcasm dripping from your voice.”
You laugh, a “you know me, Chae” accompanying the sound ringing out through your empty house. Gathering Taeyong’s work into your arms and dumping the rest on the table, you slide onto the carpeted ground with a sigh. Your bones are overly sore from sitting for too long and the couches seams have made painful, little white imprints on your thighs. With a click of your tongue, you inwardly curse your brother for offering such good deals to a minimum wage paid, about-to-be uni kid, or else you wouldn't be spending a perfectly good Saturday afternoon on whatever this is.
“So,” you prompt, “what did you do this time.”
“Ha,” Chaewon starts.
“I’m scared.”
“Ran into Jaehyun today.”
“Aaand that’s my cue to hang up now,” you sing, slipping the phone between your shoulder and ear, the warm device tucked neatly in the crevice of your neck before you hear the sound of your doorbell ringing out. 
“Wait—”
“Hold on for a sec, Chae. Someone’s at the door.” 
You will yourself to get up from the carpet before making your way over to the front of the house, preparing yourself for a blast of hot summer air to hit you. The silver knob twists under your hand as you swing the door open slowly, expecting the mailman or a delivery on your front porch. Certainly not—
“—Hey.”
Your eyes flick up in surprise.
“Oh shit,” Chaewon whispers over the phone. “That’s not who I think it is, right?”
It’s been a week since you last saw Jaehyun face to face, and your conflicted inner thoughts have been battling in your conscience for the entirety of it. Well, this isn’t great.
“Hi Jaehyun,” you manage to sound out, mentally chastising yourself for sounding so nervous.
“And that’s my cue to hang up now,” the voice at the other end of your call snickers, the long beep of it ending blaring into your ear. 
Your arm drops to your side, phone in hand, as you stare pointedly at Chaewon’s contact info lighting up the screen, her eyes mocking you through her profile picture. Jaehyun lifts an eyebrow as he looks between your phone and your face, seemingly questioning if you’re currently busy through his eyes alone.
“Umm…” your gaze flits around in flusteration, looking just about anywhere but him. “Taeyong’s not home right now, if that’s why you’re here.”
“Oh? Do you know when he’ll be back?” he asks, relaxed as he leans his body against the doorframe.
“He’s picking up stuff from Johnny’s across town, so like,” you glance up at the clock, “an hour? I could uh… call you when he gets back if you want.”
Jaehyun simply pokes his tongue into his cheek in contemplation before tucking his hands into his pockets.
“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just stay.” With a small smile, he adds on, “if you're okay with that, of course.”
You peer past him to see his shiny black Mustang sitting in front of your house, before returning to your original position and shrugging at the foyer. Losing your shyness momentarily as you let out a puff of air, you follow Jaehyun in before deciding to answer.
“My company is a blessing in itself, isn’t it,” you think out loud, displaying a cheeky smile when Jaehyun turns around to playfully scoff at you.
“Now that’s a sure thing, Y/N.��� 
The boy seats himself on one of the kitchen barstools and places his chin in his hand, leaning over the counter to stare at you as you busy yourself with the fridge.
In all honesty, you weren’t prepared to see him again. He’s already been occupying your mind a little too much for your liking during this past week, the idea of his return to your life teetering you on the edge of insanity. You didn’t know high school crushes hit that hard two years later, and it certainly doesn’t help that his golden skin and constellation of tawny freckles have made an almost daily appearance in the Lee household — just like the old times.
“I think we still have that special glass-bottled lemonade from the farmer’s market last weekend, unless,” you pause, sifting through the multitude of items in the ice box. “Yup. Nevermind. Taeyong finished all of them.”
Jaehyun snorts, already familiar with his best friend’s midnight tendencies of clearing out the fridge whenever, wherever.
“We also have water? And um… milk. And Vodka.”
“This sounds like Yuta’s fridge, and that thought alone is like, genuinely terrifying,” Jaehyun observes from behind you. You shake your head, recalling the first time you saw the said boy’s freezer stash of condiments and liquor at a house party a few years ago. Only condiments and liquor.
“Oh! And cold noodles,” you hold up the container with a little shake. “I remember you liking my mom’s version of them,” you mumble quietly, willing yourself to turn around when the cold air from the fridge starts to sting your eyes.
Jaehyun observes you curiously, a question at the tip of his tongue. You remember?
He stops himself from blurting it out when you seat yourself across from him and push the container towards his direction.
“You practically live here anyway. Help yourself,” you say a bit louder, embarrassed about the fact that you remember such a miniscule detail about him.
You squint at the countertop — which you honestly wish would swallow you whole — as Jaehyun moves around you to pour himself a glass of water. His muscles strain against his loose t-shirt as he moves around your kitchen with familiarity, and you turn away with wide eyes when you realize you’ve spaced out while staring at his back.
It’s a situation that younger you would have never imagined; you had simply never been left in a room with him alone. Your brother and his other friends were always there, a subtle reminder of the distance between you two and the fact that he was probably still worlds away.
But you’re an adult now, and it’d be a lie if you said that you don’t want Jaehyun to notice you in that way.
Feelings are too complicated to think about sober. You grimace to yourself, pressing two fingers against your temple as you lean your cheek against the cool, hard marble of the countertop.
“Y/N?” you lift your head up at your name, flinching back in surprise when Jaehyun’s face appears at the edge of your vision, his figure buzzing with excitement as he gapes at you. “This is yours, right?”
Your eyes drift to the black canisters in his palm. My film.
“Oh yeah— wait. I forgot to develop those ones,” you make your way over and take the undeveloped film rolls into your hands, the boy observing you with wide eyes.
“That’s sick. Do you develop them yourself?” 
“Hm? Nah, I bring them to the camera store downtown. Left them in the fridge to preserve for a while so they should be good to go now.”
It’s only when you look up from the canisters that you spy his expression, the pure giddiness painted on his features catching you off guard. Jaehyun’s body language tells you that he is unnervingly thrilled about his new discovery.
“You were never into this kind of stuff when Taeyong and I were still here in high school,” he brings up slowly, letting the words sit on his tongue before following you when you head towards the stairs. “If I had known…” he trails off, pursing his lips to the side so that his notorious dimples show.
You peer at him over your nose bridge curiously. If he had known, he would've what?
Jaehyun pokes his tongue into his cheek and furrows his brows, thinking about the times when he was over at your house after school and you would be nowhere to be seen. Is the dark room where you were, or were you out taking pictures at the rink and shooting short films with your friends? Maybe at the park with your old camcorder and skateboard? The fact that he never knew about so many of your hobbies is almost troubling considering how long he’s known you, and it makes him shift in place. He supposes he never really took the time to know his best friend’s little sister, but looking at you as you stare back, you’re so much more than that. 
Had you always shared so much in common?
“Well, imma go upstairs and watch a movie,” you resume your climb before pointing upward. “You can come up until Tae comes home, if you want?”
The boy glances at the door momentarily, contemplating how Taeyong would react if he found him in his sister’s room. Would he kill me? Maybe.
He shrugs. Fuck it, I could totally beat him in a fight, Jaehyun reasons, smiling to himself. He doesn’t know how he reached that conclusion, but he thinks he’s joking. Mostly.
“The real question is, what’re we watching? If it’s some romcom shit I’m leaving,” Jaehyun raises a challenging brow with his smirk as he follows you nonetheless, hand following yours dangerously close on the wooden handrail.
“Not my problem you’ve got no taste.”
“Oh please,” he rolls his eyes, pushing his body into view as you push open your bedroom door, “I might actually die if I see DiCaprio’s face one more time, and you can’t tell me it’s not you that has all of his movies in the living room cabinet, ‘cause they’re definitely not your brother’s.”
“That seems a bit of a personal issue between you and him, Jaehyun,” you let out a laugh with your words. Turning around to flick on the light switch, you’re met with his face closer than it was before. “What.”
“What?” he repeats, almost mockingly. “Oh, sweetheart. You think this face isn’t DiCaprio level?”
Your face heats up without your consent, flustered at the sudden proximity and the fact that you most definitely think Jaehyun’s better than all of your favorite actors combined. You would never admit that to him for the life of you, though.
You swallow before pushing him lightly, making your way into the center of your bedroom.
“Admit it,” he sings, not giving up as he relentlessly parks himself in front of you with his legs set further apart so that he can look at you at eye level. “I bet even Ji Chang-wook’s got nothing on me.”
“Woah woah woah,” you gasp in offense, throwing a hand up to your chest. “Now that’s crossing the line, buddy. Ji Chang-wook’s got something on everybody.”
“I bet,” Jaehyun drawls out sarcastically, eyes flipping to the ceiling ludicrously slow. He seems to glitch for a few seconds, mouth open but no words coming out. “Especially with the way his face is plastered… on… your ceiling? You fall asleep to that?”
Your eyes widen when you have the sudden realization that Jeong Jaehyun is in your room, in your personal space, looking at your things. And that most certainly includes the poster of Ji Chang-wook next to the plastic stars above your bed, glassy, plastic-y eyes staring down at your ruffley bed sheets and everything. In your defense, it was the result of a lost dare — but he doesn’t know that. Wow, you think to yourself, regretting all of your life decisions, I’m just so good at first impressions.
“Yes,” you give up somewhat dejectedly, offering him a (hopefully) confident smile before pulling a projector from under your bed and setting it up on your bedside table.
Jaehyun just shrugs and seats himself on your bed, muttering a little “cute” that you miss before observing as you give the machine a few good slaps so it’ll turn on. Settling against the wall, he lets his eyes flutter over your decor and multitude of things plastered across every inch of your space. If anything, the way your room’s changed since the last time he was in it gives him an outlook into your life that he wouldn't have known otherwise. 
From the blockbuster movie ads on your door to the unfiltered sunlight reflecting off your mirror, the shoelaces tied around your closet door to the origami threaded around your ceiling fan, he feels like he’s falling. Maybe, just maybe, he even finds a bit of himself in the painted shoe boxes shoved under your desk and your circular record shelf. Even the stars he and Taeyong stuck on years ago are still there too. He recognizes bits and pieces here and there, but thrown together in one place, a cohesive picture forms in front of him. It’s suffocating — in a good way — as if he’s been thrown into the unknown and is hit with a new side of you at full force; everything, everywhere, all at once.
“Ha!” you exclaim, holding out a fist for Jaehyun to bump when your projector flickers on. With a bright grin, you flop onto the bed beside him and wait for the whirring of the projector to start with a hollow click.
The beginning few seconds of the film you’ve chosen roll onto your makeshift movie screen, a white sheet hanging by its threads from your vanity, as the bright images light up your figures with a burning white.
Jaehyun figures out what you’ve done just as a familiar face blurs into view, the moving calligraphy of The Great Gatsby scrawled across your bedroom wall while you poke out your tongue at him, high off of the mere fact that you’ve gotten your way. You hear him let out a defeated sigh from beside you, his knee hitting yours as he settles into your comforter nevertheless.
“Sharp as hell, aren’t you. I should’ve known DiCaprio would show up in my sight sooner or later.”
Summer tastes like melted sugar crystals in cherry garcia  — or rather, summer tastes like Mark Lee’s Strawberry-Rouge Extravaganza, the latest, state-of-the-art item on his Record Shop menu. When you ask why the random French is thrown in there, he defends himself adamantly, claiming that his three years of secondary French language classes have practically made him a local.
“It’s like a metaphor for saying, ‘I love you,’” Mark claims with sass, even though you don’t make the connection (“That’s not what a metaphor is…?” you mumble quizzically under your breath). He ignores the weird look you throw at him and goes back to his mixing on the counter of the cashier station. “And it feels like a warm hug, because what better to express that than sparkly, drunk goodness.”
“Wow,” Chaewon deadpans, not even looking up from her nails that she’s painting right next to him. The mix of nail polish and liquor makes you scrunch your nose as you organize the main display, a rotating shelf that headlines Blondie. “You should be a poet. You have such a way with words.”
“I don’t need your negativity in my life, girly.” You almost choke on air when you hear a sharp snap of Chae’s gum in retaliation, her icy glare making Mark wilt under her gaze. 
Their intense, non-verbal argument is saved by the dinging of a customer opening the door to the shop. You whip around to greet them only for your words to die right in your throat. Two silhouettes step in, their tall stature and familiar features blocking the sun from shining through the entranceway.
“…Jaehyun, Jungwoo! How are you guys?” Mark offers when he sees you fall silent.
The two greet happily right back, sliding past you to pat him on the back and exchange handshakes. Jaehyun lingers by your side for a little, holding his fist out for you to tap like you did just the other day in your room.
“We knew we’d find you guys in here,” Jungwoo laments, looking around the shelves before his eyes land on Mark’s… setup. You have to admit, this one looks a bit more pleasant than his past drink recipes, and you can tell that Jungwoo agrees wholeheartedly. His hand lingers on a bottle of sparkling vanilla wine as Mark slices red fruit ardently with a plastic, cafeteria knife. A paper cup holds the rest of his special ingredients: rock candy on wooden sticks, shattered candy hearts, and star-shaped ice cubes. You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that it looked delicious, like something you would order at a beach-side bar. 
Jungwoo seems to find the situation amusing, a trio of barely-adults passing slow, withering days in their own little makeshift paradise. Leaning against the countertop like he’s on the cover of Parisian Vogue, he nicks his baseball cap up a bit higher to look into the three of yours’ eyes better.
“Johnny’s throwing a party.”
That’s all anyone needs to say before Chaewon’s attention is snagged, her eyes gaining an undeniable gleam.
“We’re going,” she speaks for everyone in the room, especially looking you square in the eyes as if saying, you’re not escaping this time, young lady.
“Mhm,” Jaehyun confirms, a hand rubbing at his pulse as he swings an arm over Jungwoo’s shoulders. “A fancy mixer, kinda, the day after tomorrow. We’ll have all the booze, so the only thing you need to bring is yourself.”
“And,” the latter chimes in, “it’s at Johnny’s countryside estate, so y’all can do whatever illegal shit you kids get yourself into without worrying about anything.”
Chaewon lets out a small scoff at his words, mumbling a “we still do here it anyway” under her breath and throwing a knowing look at the alcohol in front of Mark that’s very blatantly in every passerby’s sight.
As Jungwoo relays more information about the plans to them at the front of the shop, Jaehyun turns to follow your path as you diligently place records back in their places in the depths of the store. 
“Do you wear silver or gold?” 
You jump at his appearance out of nowhere, glancing at him with a certain hesitation at his question. Your confusion as to how this topic appeared so suddenly is painted blatantly across your face as you close the last turntable with a click. 
“Why?” You pause. “But both. Depends on my mood.”
“Because this is yours now.”
He reaches into his jeans’ front pocket, pulling out something in his fist before reaching for your hand and dropping a small, plastic ring in the middle of it. 
It’s neon orange and ugly as hell, like something you would find stuck to gum on the underbelly of a school desk. But hey, who are you to complain when Jaehyun looks so pleased at himself as he looks between your face and the ring, trying to gauge your reaction to his surprise gift. And, you’re definitely not complaining when it’s a gift from Jaehyun himself.
“Thank you…? Also,” you squint, picking up the ring to slide onto your pointer finger, “this isn’t silver or gold.” He shrugs half heartedly.
“Sucks to suck.”
You kick the tip of his Converse as he laughs with his whole body, the boy’s deep voice filling the small space. 
“It’s from the coin toy machine outside,” he explains. With a broad grin, he pulls his other hand from out of his pocket and waves it in your face. The whole rainbow has found its home on his fingers, all silly swirls and squiggles of nylon with glued on googly-eyes half falling off.
It’s the pure childish elation you share which makes you unknowingly sink deeper and deeper into the ocean that is Jeong Jaehyun, and you would have felt the metaphorical gasps of air your lungs so desperately need if not for the momentary distractions he provides. 
You suppose all of this is your own doing anyway. 
It feels as though Autumn has made a reverse pit-stop in the middle of summer. 
If not obvious by the way the seasonal trees are drooping with a sudden dewy chill, it’s the sudden absence of people in general that serves as a telltale sign. There’s almost no cars on the road, fewer students out and about, and less frequent public transportation. 
The last one in particular really speaks to Jaehyun.
Scrunching his nose at the crisp air, he exits the hole-in-the-wall café he usually frequents when he’s bored, the biting coldness of a mid-August day unfamiliar to him. The boy spent almost the entire day inside; switching between staring at the weather app on his computer and deleting emails from his overflowing inbox for two hours wasn’t the way he thought he’d spend the afternoon, but alas, waiting that long at the crumbling bus stop wasn’t ideal either. He much prefers being warm, caffeinated, and pretending to read a scientific journal than freezing his ass off on a metal bench. 
Anyone would think the same, Jaehyun shrugs to himself… at least until he starts nearing said bench.
Jaehyun stops mid-step when he spots something strange, side-eyeing the undeniably familiar blob crouching at the bus stop approaching on the right.
Why? Well, it's swathed in an oversized hoodie, has a keychain-ful backpack hanging low on its shoulders, and is suspiciously Y/N-shaped.
And if that doesn’t tell him anything, well, the way your eyes go comically wide when you turn to the right and coincidentally meet gazes with Jeong Jaehyun of all people definitely does. It’s the way he’s standing there like a runway model with his hood over his head, dimples on full show as he raises his eyebrows at you and his expensive-looking leather bag hanging off of one shoulder that almost causes you to fall over. Luckily, you pull yourself together before something embarrassing happens, like losing your balance and crashing into the road (not that it’s happened before, of course…). You’re well aware that you tend to get distracted easily, and you’re definitely in trouble because that man is one hell of a distraction.
Getting up quickly and dusting the invisible dust off your legs, you offer him an embarrassed wave as he approaches you.
“How long have you been sitting there? It’s fucking cold outside,” Jaehyun calls out, concerned, glancing down at your skirt and the way you hide your hands in your hoodie sleeves. Sidling up next to you, he bounces on the balls of his feet a little before stuffing his own hands in his pockets.
“It’s okay,” you smile down at the way your shoes match next to his on the sidewalk, “I’m used to the bipolar weather. Plus, it’s not that cold when you’ve got these!” Tucking your lip between your teeth, you rustle around in your sweater-paws before popping out your hands proudly in front of you. Nestled in your palms are old hand warmers, their heat fading but worth their purpose nonetheless.
“Only you would have hand warmers in stock during the middle of summer, Y/N,” he shakes his head in disbelief, but the smile threatening to take over his face makes his eyes crinkle up in amusement.
“Mhm,” you say, distracted as you see the bus pull up to the sidewalk from down the road, “I’ve got a whole box in my backpack. Who knows, maybe an ice storm will hit one day and I’ll be the only one with hands while everyone else’s freeze off.” 
He pauses in place, speechless at your comment. You simply shrug at him, as if saying that’s the way life goes, before nodding to the bus driver and climbing up the vehicle’s steps. “Don’t worry, I’d share mine with you.”
Jaehyun lets out a breath in disbelief. 
Your attitude is truly refreshing, and he can’t even begin to describe what a breath of clean air it is to talk to you everyday; he’s used to girls coming up to him with hidden intent, their eyes tinged with lust as they disguise their interest with false pretenses and flowery words. Flattery is what it began with, but after years of receiving nothing from their end while he found himself aimlessly hoping for someone genuine and it was disappointing that he couldn’t find even one. He’d wish they would just treat him normally and act like themselves, a person not afraid to be genuine with him and let their inner child show. 
It’s as he observes the way you hum as you climb up and give a playful salute to the driver that he realizes you’re the perfect balance of both, the maturity in you shining admirably at the times when it is needed while never acting like something you’re not.
Jaehyun blinks at your figure before tugging on your arm to move around you, swiping his bus pass twice before you can even register what’s happened. He lets a smug grin take over his face before pulling you to the back of the bus and plopping down beside you.
“Thank you for paying for me,” you tilt your head at him, tucking your card back into your pocket. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to, though.”
You give him a grateful smile before remembering something that you had meant to show him, pulling out the walkman you found in your grandmother’s cellar yesterday from your backpack, a dusty old thing that still works perfectly fine. Looping its built-in headphones around your neck, you tilt the player towards him before offering him the small device. Turning it around in his hands, he gapes in undeniable awe as he taps the plastic cover with intrigue. 
You knew he’d like it.
“I haven’t seen one of these in so long. Whose grave did you raid to get this, the hell?”
“Found it yesterday in my grandparent's cellar, and before Taeyong got his hands on it. I thought that you’d find it interesting so I was planning on showing you later this week, but hey, look who I happened to run into today.”
He simply shakes his head before bringing the machine up to his eyes and popping open its cover, a finger coming up to trace the dust out of the inside of it.
“Do you have a cassette to put in it or…?” he begins, looking up at you. You shake your head. “We can go to the vintage shop downtown later to get you some, if you want.”
“Really? You’ll go with me?”
“Yeah, Y/N. You’ve always got the coolest things to play around with, and we can go shove this in Yong’s face too. He’s gonna be so jealous.”
“You just wanna annoy my brother,” you snort, nudging his arm.
“You’ve got me there.” He holds up his hands in mock surrender before poking his tongue inside his cheek, eyebrows furrowing in thought. “Or… I could make you a personalized mixtape?” Your jaw drops comically, no words coming out of your mouth as you just stare at him.
“Are you being serious right now?”
“So, so serious.”
“If you did, I would actually lose my mind,” you finally close your mouth in amazement. “You’d probably be my favorite person ever.”
“Well, then that would be well worth it. I’ll work on it when I’m back in the studio at uni,” Jaehyun smiles genuinely, handing you your walkman back before swinging his leather bag back onto his shoulder as the bus pulls to a halt. With a parting pat on your shoulder, he mouths a goodbye before descending the aisle.
“This is my stop. See you at the party, Y/N.”
… 
When you had received the call on a quiet Saturday afternoon from Mark that he and Chaewon would be leaving earlier to help set up for Johnny’s weekend party — the one that Jungwoo and Jaehyun had only told you about just a few days prior — the possibility of not having a ride to bring you hadn’t even struck yet. You were too busy thanking your friends that they had granted you two more hours for an afternoon nap, and an extra 60 minutes to get ready; a truly ideal day in your opinion. 
It’s only when you’ve given yourself a final look in the mirror, admiring the new dress that you’ve donned at the last minute, do you hear the undeniable honk of a car outside. Brushing aside the curtains and trying to get your eyes to focus in the dark, you make a noise of panic when you spy Jaehyun’s car outside your house. 
What’s he doing here?
You'd spent far more time with Jaehyun in the past few days than you have in your entire lifetime, running small errands with him when Taeyong's not there and browsing through retro stores in nearby towns for old cassettes. With every hour more spent together, it felt like you were getting closer to knowing his feelings, and that in itself excited you to no end. He'd end every drive together with a knowing look and some sort of physical touch, and each goodbye left you in anticipation for the next time you'd see him.
Sprinting down the stairs and grabbing your shoes as fast as you can, you rush out into the street where the Mustang’s tinted windows prevent any passerby from making out any faces from the outside. 
As you approach the driver’s side, the window rolls down to reveal the owner of the car. 
“Hey,” Jaehyun grins at you, his pupils dilated and the faint smell of smoke lingering on his breath. 
It feels like forever since you’ve seen him, even if it’s only been a few hours since you last saw each other. You can feel your head fog up when you fully take in his appearance; with his hair slicked back and his button-up undone to reveal sharp collarbones and a dangling, silver cross, he looks godly as the moonlight basks him in a paper-white glow. 
“Chaewon and Mark had to stay later to help set up more and Taeyong’s been pregaming since six, so he sent me to pick you up. You can get in the back.”
You hum in understanding before climbing into the backseat, tucking your hands under your thighs before looking up at the front of the car. 
Your heart drops. 
“Hi,” the girl in the shotgun seat lilts, her bleached hair falling into wavy ringlets against Jaehyun’s leather seats. “Y/N, right? I remember you! You’re Yongie’s baby sis.”
You itch to fill the silence that follows, even though you assume she would have no trouble clearing it with her well-known, extroverted dynamic. There’s an unnamed tension in the car between the two people in the front seat, and it’s so intense that you could cut it with a knife.
You take shallow breaths, not sure what to make of your position. I’m sitting in a car with my crush and his former situationship— holy. How did we get to this point? She’s literally—
“—Lim Sae-mi,” you attempt to give her a genuine smile, flashing your teeth in what you pray isn’t an awkward expression. 
Saemi simply twinkles in the rear view mirror, her delicately painted lips stretching up before she twists around to observe you. 
“You do remember me! Look at how pretty you are too,” she exclaims, reaching back to pat down a strand of your hair, her voice laced with sticky sweetness. “You could be a model, just like Yongie. And your hair is so healthy, I’m jealous. Isn’t her hair so so nice, Jae?”
Jaehyun snaps to attention at the mention of his name, seeming to be in some sort of haze with the way he looks like he’s holding his breath for as long as humanly possible. 
“Yeah.” You find yourself wilting in the slightest at his monotone voice. Looking out the window as he starts driving towards the outskirts of town, you try not to let yourself be too disappointed at the way he loses such distinctive qualities when around the girl sitting next to him. 
Jaehyun freezes up when Saemi turns to him all doe-eyed, flashbacks flitting through his mind of the days when he’d anticipate the moments he’d see her again when they were younger. Strangely enough, the effect that she used to have on him — palpitating heart, nervous ticks, rosy cheeks, uncanny attraction — seems to have dissipated. Now, highschool-Jaehyun seems so far away, and their memories even further.
What’s changed?
“Um,” you start as you watch suburban lights zoom by less and less frequently, your brain working just as fast to eliminate some of the weird, awkward tension happening in the car. You don’t really know enough to make conclusions, but something must have happened in the past for them to react to each other like this. “How’s SNU? Do you guys run into each other often on campus?”
Jaehyun chuckles lowly, a tinge of uncertainty lining his tone as he waits for Saemi to answer your question. 
“Right, you’re going to uni next year right? Hmm… we don’t really see each other on campus at all, now that I think about it,” she simpers, frowning at the road in front of her before brightening up in less than a second. “But that's because Jae’s so busy, preparing to be a future doctor and all. He was always the smartest one out of all of us.”
You watch as he falls silent, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel as his jaw clenches ever so slightly.
“Hey, we should catch up sometime Jae,” she adds on with a tone like she doesn’t really mean it before turning her gaze to him, tacking on a noise of agreement with herself as if she's already decided that they will. 
She knows they won’t.
You watch their eyes meet briefly before Jaehyun breaks it to turn the steering wheel left onto a never-ending stretch of a lone, empty road.
Saemi’s a hard person to figure out. You know that she’s charming when she wants to be and firm when she needs to be, but you also know from Taeyong that she has a personality she can flip on and off like a switch; it’s almost as if mind games with the people around her are amusing, and it’s up to the other person to figure out what her true intentions are. It’s understandable why so many people find her alluring. 
Glancing up at the back of her head once more, you observe as she leans back with a faint frown before swallowing something in her hand that looks like a bottled shot. She looks uncomfortable as she shifts in her seat every few minutes, and you’re not sure if she’s more put off by the alcohol or by Jaehyun. Your guess would be the latter, even if her voice makes it seem like she’s the most confident person in the world.
You don’t even attempt to start another conversation, instead opting to roll down the window so that you can watch empty land flash by, an occasional plant breaking the smooth ground. The car picks up speed on its own with no other vehicle in sight, the only light coming from the rising crescent moon and a solo gas station situated further down the road.
The three of you perk up as you approach the oil refill and the only other car at the station, a big pick-up with dressed-up figures leaning out of its windows and sitting around the back cargo bed. You assume they’re heading to the same place you are with the way they all shout at each other as they pass a dark bottle back and forth. A boy gets out of the driver’s seat to walk over to Jaehyun’s car and lean through Saemi’s side of the window, shades pushed up into his hair and beads and cuban links dangling out of his shirt. You don’t recognize him, but you’re not surprised when Johnny knows just about every young person in the world.
“Jaehyun, man! And Saemi, damn, I haven’t seen you guys in a while. Headed to Johnny’s?” he exclaims with a loud voice and wide smile, reaching in to pat a long-lost friend on the shoulder. Just like that, the extroverted Jaehyun and Saemi are back, conversing with him as if their awkward energy and off demeanors didn’t just dictate the ride over. 
The guy notices you in the back when your eyes meet accidentally, both of you taken aback.
“And who might this be?” He smirks at you, gaze never leaving yours as he directs the question to the other two in the car. You smile back just to be friendly, but with the way he’s staring at you, you’re not sure if that’s the right way to go about things.
“Lee Taeyong’s sister,” Jaehyun speaks up, glimpsing back at you with an unreadable look. A look of recognition flashes over the stranger’s face as his mouth opens in surprise.
“So this is the sister. Shit, is that why I’ve never seen her around?”
“Yeah.” There’s a bitter undertone to his voice, expression faltering before he raises his eyebrows with a smile. “And that’s why she’s off limits, man. I know that look all too well.”
You look at your brother’s friend in question, leaning forward, but Jaehyun doesn’t even glance at you. Both of you know that Taeyong isn’t really the overly protective type, so why would he say that? Maybe he knows that this guy is bad news, so he’s warning me. You nod to yourself, satisfied with your quick thinking. That sounds about right.
You’re about to offer a comment yourself, but you’re stopped by a—
“Lim Saemi! No fucking way, is that really you?” another shrill voice calls from across the expanse of the gas station, a former classmate stalking across the black cement in teetering heels as she waves dramatically at the girl in front of you. “It is you! I can’t believe we ran into you like this, you gotta join the party truck now!”
Saemi seems to recognize her, waving dramatically out the window to her friend. In a matter of seconds, the girl has pulled her out of Jaehyun’s car as she laughs at her friend’s antics of tugging on her wrist to string her along, drunk. Saemi throws you and Jaehyun a look that seems to say everything and nothing at the same time; if you were to interpret it in your own language, it would spell out: So sorry I’m ditching you guys! I love both of you to pieces but I’d honestly rather drink bleach than get back in that car. Hope you understand. Muah.
And with that, you watch Saemi switch cars in a matter of moments. The boy follows them back to their chaotic ride to Johnny’s after waving goodbye at Jaehyun, who’s watching them without any emotion bleeding through his stoic face. You can’t even begin to guess what's going through his mind as his eyes flick back to his dashboard, spaced out.
You pause.
“...and then there were two.”
Biting your bottom lip when you realize you mumbled that out loud, and you’ve genuinely never wanted to be six feet under more because the man hasn’t even said a word since she left you two.
Jaehyun freezes at your voice, almost as if he forgot you were in the car. Letting out an airy laugh after a moment, your shoulders relax when you sense that his weird, Saemi-caused demeanor has faded with her sudden absence.
“Wanna move to the front? It’s lonely up here.” You perk up at his belated response, excitedly getting out of the back to slide into the shotgun seat at his invitation. The man next to you seems to visibly relax, stomach releasing and shoulders drooping with less tension as he starts the car and turns back onto the stretch of empty road. 
The silence doesn’t bother you this time when Saemi’s absent; it’s pleasant and full, as if both of you needed this momentary break from nonstop life to collect yourself. Staring at the dust picking up along the wheels while the needle on the speedometer rises up and up, you find the scene before you therapeutic in unexplainable ways.
Jaehyun feels the same, his eyes spacey as one hand rests languidly on the steering wheel with ingrained muscle memory. The vehicle coasts past blank acres and rolling hills, the burning moon engaging in hide-and-seek as it appears and disappears behind their peaks. He doesn’t even feel the need to turn up the stereo as he usually does when your audible, light breaths are sufficient enough. It’s comforting in ways he didn’t know he needed.
You recognize how close you are to Johnny’s estate when you see the road before you thin into dirt and pebbles, a grandiose silver gate barely visible in the far distance. Behind the gate is the unmistakable gleam of polished stone, no doubt the road that leads up to the party and an onslaught of cars. If you concentrate hard enough, your mind can even conjure up the deep bass of the music that the host prefers at his mixers, their heavy resonance flowing through the thick soil to the bottom of Jaehyun’s car and all the way up to the soles of your feet.
You’re just about to point your strange observance out when Jaehyun makes a sudden swerve, pulling off to an edge of mangled weeds and tree roots, the car rolling to a shuttering stop just before a barren field of dead plants. Your body lurches forward a bit with the movement, the boy apologizing profusely when he sees you adjust your seatbelt with confusion written all over your expression.
“Fuck, sorry sorry sorry,” he mumbles, moving his hand in front of you as if you could fall out of your seat at any minute. “I just… the stars are stunning right now, we gotta stop for a sec. You don’t mind if we…”
He trails off, distracted, as he pulls the car door open hastily, rushing out to take in the night sky in its full glory. It’s as if he doesn’t move fast enough, the stars will pull a disappearing stunt on him.
It’s endearing to see Jaehyun like this, a smile subconsciously finding its way onto your face when you spot him bouncing on the balls of his feet lightly. His eyes are completely enamored with the sight above him, neck craned up at an odd angle to see everything; from the way his fingers dig into his palms in excitement to the cold flush on his cheeks from the biting evening chill, it’s like he doesn’t know what to do with himself when encountering such a beautiful product of mother nature. 
The thought of Johnny’s party evaporates from both of your minds as you find yourself mirroring Jaehyun’s position. 
After a few minutes of stillness, he looks at you with the very stars from the sky in his eyes.
“Can we stay here for a bit?”
He beams at your “of course” before hoisting himself onto the cool hood of his Mustang and offering a hand out for you to grab. Pulling you up onto the spot beside him with a huff, he pulls your wrist to shift your body closer to his before smiling contently to himself. 
You try not to let your mind spiral at his warm touch, instead focusing your attention on the blanket of constellations that greet you from the inky stretch of night sky. The cold metal of the hood cools your burning skin as your legs stretch out in front of you, skin ghastly as your arms support your weight from behind you.
When he hears your faint intake of breath, Jaehyun allows his eyes to leave the pretty view above him to the pretty view beside him for a few seconds, letting them linger on your side profile as you stare up in awe. They fall from the slope of your nose to the open curve of your lips, circling around your neck and raking over the ornate gems decorating your skin. You’re breathtaking in 1001 ways, and it’s such a pressing realization that he blinks away in shock when your gaze suddenly meets his. 
“Do you do this often?”
“When I need to get away for a bit. All of my best ideas come to me at night, I think. There’s just something about darkness and non-artificial light which is curiously inspiring.”
You nod, leaning back on the windshield and resting your head against its glass. Nighttime lets you think in the abstract, where the shadows don’t take shape and remind you to think in a direct and methodical way. 
“I get that,” you empathize. “After Taeyong left, I used to climb onto my roof after dark and just sit there alone for hours. I wouldn’t know how much time had passed until I got back into my room, and to be honest, that was my favorite time of the day. It took my mind off things, even if it was only for a few hours.”
“You know, Yong and I used to do that when we were younger. You were too little to remember I think, but we’d go up after your parents fell asleep and throw basketballs down the side of your house to see how far they would bounce up… we probably hit your window too a few times. Only a few.”
“That was you?” you jut, incredulous.
“Oh, so she does remember,” Jaehyun laughs under his breath, playfully avoiding eye contact when you scoff at your brother and his' antics. “Anyway, I wanna go up there again someday.”
“Our roof? I’ll bring you.”
Jaehyun turns to face you.
“Promise? I’m counting on it, Lee.”
You don’t hide your bashful smile this time, looking away when the boy flashes his dimples at you. Your insides flood with warmth as you secretly bring the back of your hand up to feel your cheek, scared of its betrayal of your feelings. 
Jaehyun sighs, content, after a few moments, his neck lolling at the joint to stargaze once again. He feels entirely relaxed at this moment; there’s nothing that Mother Nature can’t fix. 
“History revolved around looking at the stars and just talking, you know? I wish I could stay here forever and never grow up.” 
You tilt your head curiously.
“Why, you don’t like being an adult?”
“Not that,” he shakes his head. “It’s more of, I pretend to be collected and mature and all-knowing, but the feeling of having no control over life magnifies as I get older. My head and heart haven’t grown up fast enough to catch up.”
“Jaehyun.”
“Hm?”
“You don’t ever have to pretend. It’s… it’s okay to not know what you’re doing or what the future looks like, and it’s okay to let yourself go at times too. Being an adult doesn’t mean always knowing the right things to do or figuring out every little detail right now,” your words stumble a bit as they spill out, but he seems to catch onto every word perfectly. “I’m scared too, so it’s kinda ironic that I’m giving you this advice when I can’t follow it myself.”
“We can trade words of wisdom,” Jaehyun offers more lightheartedly. “It’s so much easier to give advice to other people than to yourself.” You can’t think of a better way to phrase it than that. 
“And I think simply moving forward with what you can muster is the best we can do,” you add on. Jaehyun just stares at you as you talk, chin in his palm as he takes in your advice with sincerity. “Things will just come and go naturally as we go on.”
“You’re right. Time tells, Y/N. And frankly, you’re so much more mature than me.”
“Me?” You frown, surprised at the fact that he thinks you are. “That’s so strange to hear, because I feel like I’ll never be independent in the way that you and Tae are. Even though we’re not that far apart in age, I’ve always thought you guys were from a different galaxy, like fear wasn’t a word in your dictionary and maturity has always just come naturally.”
“It’s all in the way we carry ourselves, but maturity itself doesn’t come from this,” Jaehyun waves his hand around to outline your body in an imaginary circle, “but from this.” You watch as he taps a purposeful finger against your temple. “And you have more of it than anyone my age. You have a mind that people would die for, and I think that’s something to be very proud of.”
The wind whistles soundly as the two of you take in the world with new perspectives, sitting up a little straighter and legs just barely touching as he moves closer without even noticing. You don’t say anything for a while, and you don’t need to. He recognizes how you need a few minutes to let his words soak in, and that’s what makes you so you. Jaehyun knows you won’t just take his words on a whim and forget them ten minutes later; you’re the kind of person that internalizes everything he says with genuine feeling and gratefulness, and that quality is what makes you, in his opinion, celestial. 
“You always know just what to say,” you finally whisper, and he almost doesn’t catch it.
You receive no reply except for the most adoring look in his eyes as he smiles fondly at you. The breeze blows wisps of your hair around your face, and Jaehyun can’t help it when he reaches out to tuck a stray strand behind your ear. His fingers linger — longingly, if you dare say — before he makes himself pull away.
You’re scared to let yourself believe that you might have a chance this time; everything floods back and hits your heart at full power, and you think that your newfound connection you’ve found with the boy over this summer has trumped all of your past memories. Your feelings are fragile, and the way he looks at you is terrifying. He makes your heart race violently; your feelings from when you were fifteen don’t even compare.
“It’s too chilly for a summer month,” he speaks up suddenly, rubbing his arms and trying to lighten the mood. You shake your mind out of its storm of complicated emotions before offering a small smile back.
“Always speaking the truth, aren’t you?” You tease, playing with the hem of your short dress. Jaehyun makes a noise of agreement before a boyish grin stretches across his face. 
“Yeah, which is why Leonardo DiCaprio is not—”
“—UH,” You stop him mid sentence, shushing him. “Let’s not finish that sentence.”
“—peak acting which is why—”
“La la la lala,” you sing, covering your ears with your hands childishly and squinting so that you don’t have to see Jaehyun raising an eyebrow at you, amused. “I can’t hear youu.”
“I take back the part about you being more mature than me.” Only one boy is capable of making your moods flip like this, and he’s sitting right next to you as your laughs ring out in tandem through the night. 
Eventually, after a few more back-and-forths under the dark sky, Jaehyun takes it upon himself to teach you some astronomical terms. You doubt you’ll remember them, but he promises he’ll make it easy for you to hold in your mental library.
“You need to be prepared,” he stresses, “if you’re gonna come with me next time.”
“Next time… stargazing?”
“Yup,” he answers matter-of-factly. “Let’s see… there’s a triangle of importance in my opinion. The true triune, holy grail of astronomy.”
You watch him sink into his element, musing upon the milky way above.
“Stars,” he air-traces the Orion constellation slowly. “Moons,” he continues, moving his arm in front of you to point at the claw of the silver crescent moon. Jaehyun lets his hand fall, the tip of his finger grazing your skin in the slightest as it hovers in front of your heart. “And celestial bodies.” 
You mentally prepare yourself to get an earful from Chaewon as the drive up to Johnny’s resumes…
…two hours late.
In your defense, it wasn’t completely your fault. Jaehyun says you can blame it on him when she throws her fit at you being late — and boy, do you know she will — but you also know that when you recount what happened to cause your tardiness, she’ll excuse it. Partially. Maybe even throw in a sushi dinner and smoke sesh, then all of your sins would be forgiven in her book.
You try to distract yourself from Jaehyun’s sweet actions just a few minutes earlier by thinking about where you might find Chaewon and Mark when you get there; maybe the drink-stocked kitchen, where Mark will surely be… or outside, where people like Chaewon usually go with their ziploc bags and scratched-up lighters.
Where would Jaehyun go?
You groan inwardly when you catch your brain drifting to the idea of the man next to you once again, said man driving with a dopey expression on his face as Johnny’s estate comes into full view. You can’t tell if it’s because of a well-needed down-time with the stars (and time with you, if you dare to think optimistically) or because it looks like there’s strobe lights flashing out of every window of the ground floor—
“—holy shit, they really went all out,” Jaehyun gapes, hands slacking on the steering wheel as you both take in the scene before you. “Johnny’s fucking insane. Maybe even like, should-be-checked-into-a-facility insane.”
Your eyes widen as the building unfurls itself before you, a mansion so grand that it’s comparable to Gatsby’s in every way. It’s got a certain vintage charm to it, something you assume Johnny’s parents built in homage to their roots with veiny, marbled stairs and towering Roman columns. The chaos that’s happening in and around the home itself, however, is a different story. You can see the drunk bodies already as they move around to invisible music, and waves of people climb spiral staircases up to the upper levels as they fumble drinks around. Silhouettes of the party-goers are littered across the vast, arched windows, stone trims decorating their sills with impeccable detail; the estate is truly a needle that shines brilliantly in a haystack of country homes, the nearest house being a whole 20 minute drive away. You’d been to his countryside home only once with Taeyong when you were younger, but seeing it in all its glory during the nighttime is a whole different experience.
“Nah,” you grin when he puts the car into park behind a train of assorted automobiles that cover the driveway. “He's that special kind of chaebol-insane. I propose not eating the rich, because what would the world be without Johnny Suh.”
Jaehyun simply chuckles lightly before getting out of the car and walking around to your side, opening the door before helping you out. You’d be lying if you said that the butterflies in your stomach didn’t just seize at his actions.
But nothing good lasts forever.
Just as soon as the butterflies come, they die off when you notice the immediate, uncanny switch in Jaehyun’s disposition.
You’re not sure if it’s the deafening bass-boosted music flooding into the air or the multitude of bodies in front of the house alone as the two of you approach the open door, but he seems to be pushed into a different element the closer you get. You recognize it as the one that you’d only heard of in high school, the one who frequented house parties on school nights with your brother, the one who shone in a room full of people, the infamous heartbreaker Jaehyun.
You can see the shift in his eyes, the way his pupils dilate slowly as they gain that undeniable gleam. You can feel his muscles lose a tension you didn’t even know was there, especially when he swings his arm around your shoulders casually, letting his hand rest against your collarbone. You can hear the calls of his wicked name already from both females and males alike, their shouts pulling him away from you as multiple people are drawn to him right away.
You recognize a few of them, hometown names that make their presence known as they clap Jaehyun on the back and reach out for intoxicated hugs. It’s also now that you realize the sheer amount that the boy you practically grew up with — the very one who spent his school day afternoons playing in your living room — changes when with other people. His popularity was never a mystery to you, but seeing it in person like this… he acts like he’s finally at home. A true socialite who flourishes when surrounded by people.
And you would never hold that against anyone, except until—
“Hey, Y/N, I’ll catch up with you later, okay? Promise.”
Ah.
His voice rings out flippant and unfamiliar, arm slipping from your shoulders like deadweight, and his fingers don’t linger on your skin longingly this time. Without looking back, he’s swept away by a myriad of high school friends as they drag him off to only God knows where. They hand him drinks and jostle around with each other between heated bodies, his silver rings glinting under the lights as he throws his head back for a bitter shot.
You watch as their forms retreat into the depths of the party until the shadows swallow him up and your eyes can’t follow him anymore. 
Left to hover awkwardly by yourself at the door of Johnny’s house with no drink in hand and a bewildered twist in your expression, suddenly, all the moments that have led up to now feel like a fever dream. Everything just happened so fast. One minute he’s next to you, and you’re sure you’ve fallen again. Hard. And the next moment he’s gone with the wind, like a figment of a dream flickering in and out of consciousness. Sure, you hadn’t expected to spend the whole night with him, but you thought that after your many little talks he would want to stay with you a little longer than three seconds.
At least he promised to find you later, but you’re still left feeling unsure about where you stand with him in contrast to the bubbling feeling of affection you had felt earlier in the night. The way he acts is giving you emotional whiplash.
I have to find Chaewon and Mark, you think to yourself suddenly, trying to shake your head of Jaehyun-related thoughts. The way he’s plagued your thoughts far too many times these past few months terrifies you, and it feels like you’ve lost your mind for real this time. You’re charged with a new determination to not think about the boy until he comes back to you himself. It’s not worth ruining your night over maybe’s.
Weaving through sweaty figures and waving instinctually at the people who happen to recognize you, you find yourself in a sort of trance as you strain to catch a glimpse of one of your friends. The bass-boosted music fills your ears with a heavy buzz as you make your way through what feels like hundreds of people.
A cold hand abruptly reaches out to grasp your wrist when you approach the closed off kitchen, causing you to cautiously glance back at its owner with your other arm ready to push them off.
“Babe, what are you doing here all alone?”
You jump slightly before giving him a childish slap on his arm as a grinning Mark reaches out to embrace you, and the strong smell of twisted tea pungent on his breath. His hand comes up to tuck your head into his neck familiarly, an old habit from when you were young that tends to come out in his drunk endeavors.
“You scared me,” you mumble into his shirt, voice muffled by the fabric. “I was trying to find you, but there’s literally thirty million people in this damn house.”
Feigning hurt, Mark pulls away to put a hand to his heart. “You can’t recognize me from a house away?” His sarcasm makes you squint at him, your hand reaching out to tug him along with you.
“No, Mark. I actually can’t recognize you from a house away,” you bite back, mumbling an extra, “surprisingly too, because I could probably hear your loud-ass laugh from another country if I really wanted to.”
“Literally shut up.”
“Never. Come find Chaewon with me?”
“I-” Mark sighs, giving in to your pleading eyes. What can he say, he has a self-destructive soft spot for his best friend. “Fine. But only if you get her to play one of the drinking games with me, ‘cause you never want to,” he tsks. You offer him an innocent smile before turning towards the back balcony. Gripping Mark’s arm tightly as the two of you make your way through clusters of people, you glance back every so often to make sure he’s still with you. You don’t want to be left alone again.
Again. Like Jaehyun just did when he said he wanted to spend time with me…
He seems to sense your uneasiness when you pause for a moment to look down, the fluorescent lights that lead to the back glass doors making your eyes sting as your fingers tighten their grip on his wrist. 
“Hey hey hey,” the boy pauses to move in front of you with worry creasing his brows. “You good?”
You blink away from him, mumbling an unsure “yeah,” before clearing your throat. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just got dizzy for a sec.”
Mark puts his hands on your shoulders carefully, eyes scanning the way your face looks more apprehensive than usual and your head isn’t held just as high as the Y/N he knows would. He’s had almost his entire life to study your moods and the rises and falls of your expressions, and he knows that something heavy is bothering you to the point where you’re letting him see it bleed through your normal, carefree facade. It’s something serious, and he also knows you’re not gonna tell him until you’re ready.
So for now, he simply smooths down any invisible tensions in your arms and straightens your posture for you like he would in your younger school days, gentle and nimble fingers adjusting the straps of your dress like a parent figure would. 
“I like this number on you. You should wear it more often.” 
“Thank you,” you smile gratefully at him, forcing your feet to move forward once again. It's not unusual for Mark to compliment you, but it feels particularly comforting tonight after so much of your confidence in yourself has been built up and torn down in a matter of hours.
You don’t let your gaze take in anyone except a potential Chaewon as the two of you finally make it outside, scared of potentially seeing someone you don’t want to see. Out of the corner of your eye, Mark gestures animatedly to the lit up garden, far fewer people mingling in its flowering, winding paths than inside. 
“Oh! Chaewon’s right there,” he pushes you lightly in her direction, a poised figure leaning, relaxed, on one of the ivy-slinked marble balconies. “I’m not gonna go far, but I’ll get some drinks from the kitchen for us and be right back, okay? I won’t leave you guys for long.” You’re silent for a moment.
“I’m sorry.” 
“Why are you sorry, Y/N? You’ve done nothing wrong, but whoever or whatever’s bothering you should feel ashamed for making you apologize for nothing,” he chastises immediately, indignant towards the fact he has an inkling of who’s made you feel this way. It pains him to see his best friend hurt silently.
You nod before he gives you one last pat and nudges you in the direction of Chaewon. She turns on her heel just as Mark leaves, face lighting up when she spots your form heading in her direction.
“Took you long enough!” She calls out over with a hand reaching out for you, her other occupied by a flute of some mysterious fizzy liquid. “I’ve been waiting so that we can try the colorful shots in Johnny’s fridge together. I know you secretly like those.”
You snap yourself out of your thoughts before managing a grateful smile as she pulls you into a side hug. “Sorry, the uh… drive took longer than anticipated,” you mumble, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. 
“Who’d you come with again? I feel so bad that we couldn’t pick you up, but the setup literally took the living energy out of me.”
You bite your lip nervously, eyes flicking to the night sky in reassurance.
“I came with— I came with Jaehyun,” you spit out quietly, already predicting her reaction in your head. 
“Damn, for real? I told your brother to call one of your other friends, but this is so much better. Did you guys get time to talk or what?” Chaewon lifts her drink to her lips as she waits with wide eyes, anticipating an answer that you know you can’t give her. If anyone has always rooted for the possibility of him liking you back, it’s her. 
“I don’t know,” you finally whisper, giving up as you tug your fingers through your hair. “It’s just… he’s a confusing person. Like yeah, we talked, but I can’t figure him out at all. He goes back and forth from being the closest I’ve ever felt to a boy to an almost distant stranger in a matter of seconds.”
Your friend’s face falls at your words, clearly noting how much you’re beginning to get stressed out over him. It kills her to see anything but a smile on your face, and the fact that it’s because of someone who you’ve pined over for so long is detrimental to watch. 
“Y/N…” 
“It’s fine. I’m making a big deal out of nothing, probably.” Your voice cracks slightly in the middle of the sentence, but you mask it with a quiet laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a real chance with him to begin with, so try not to expect much.” Chaewon’s bitter smile reflects her inner confliction as she reaches out to take your hand in hers.
“Stop, don’t think like that,” she mutters. 
“But don’t worry, there’s still,” you whisper, putting your pointer finger and thumb up to approximate the size of the tiny moon in the sky above you, “a little hope. There’s always been.”
You nod to yourself, almost like a subtle reassurance. You’ve always had faith and confidence in your own feelings, and a little hope has never killed you. If anything, it’s brought you closer to Jaehyun than you’ve ever been, and getting to know him in ways that you were never able to has been a silver lining in itself. Just maybe… deep down, not in the way you know you wish you had.
“I love how you’re always been so sure of what you want,” Chaewon confesses. It’s both a blessing and a curse. “But tonight’s about having fun, okay? No use wasting time on a boy that can’t get his own shit straight.”
With a giggle, she pulls you towards the house once again. “I want to see you get wasted. His name is not allowed as far as I’m concerned.”
“Jaehyun’s name…?” 
“Who?”
You shake your head with a smile as she feigns confusion with an innocent expression. I don’t deserve my friends, you think to yourself, heart warming at how much they try to make you feel better.
“Come on, Y/N. Look around at all the people,” she laughs out in the tone of a true socialite as she tugs you towards where most of the partygoers are congregated, littered across every corner with their short dresses and sweaty skin. Noticing that your mouth is still tinged with a hint of apprehensiveness, she stops in her tracks and turns to you. “You’re telling me that you’re gonna let him do this to you? This night is for us, not waiting for a stupid boy that’s had the chance of a decade to love on you, pretty girl.”
She fiddles with your dress and smoothing down its invisible wrinkles as you nod along with her, mind willing itself to focus on yourself and your friends instead of—
Right. He doesn’t exist right now.
“And you look so good right now that anyone would be stupid not to feel lucky for having your attention,” she affirms, shiny hair tumbling under fluorescent lights as she beams at you. You can’t help but wrap your arms around her, the comfort of her mere presence and consoling words making your heart burn. 
“Love you, Chae. I think we should just date instead,” you mumble into her shoulder, her signature, bright laughter ringing out at your words. 
Her eyes brighten even more when she spots Mark appearing back behind you with entire bottles of liquor in his hands.
“Where the hell did you get those, my god,” she ooh and aah’s at him as your face lights up at the appearance of the boy.
“Johnny’s hidden stash in one of the guest bedrooms. He thinks he’s slick,” he snorts, putting a finger up in a shushing motion when Chaewon gasps dramatically. When you giggle at your best friend’s antics, he turns to look at you with a hint of worry on his face. 
You seem to have cheered up a bit since he left you to get drinks, but he also knows how good at hiding your true feelings you are. From poker faces to fake laughs, you’ve got it all under your belt. He just wishes you would just let go sometimes, but it’s understandable when he thinks about you as a person. It’s simply in your nature to be selfless, and ever since the two of you were young, you’ve never been one to bother anyone with your own worries. No wonder he’s worried as you crinkle your eyes in elation at him, a complete 180 from five minutes ago.
Glancing at Chaewon, she nods at him discreetly, seemingly having a conversation with just their eyes. You’re okay now.
Letting out a short breath of relief, Mark loops his arm with yours before pulling you into the lion’s den of a party haven. 
“Let’s get fucked up, hmm?”
You don’t know how much time has passed as you trudge through the garden with your heels in one hand, Chaewon’s fingers laced with yours in the other. 
You’re sure it’s been at least three hours since you arrived. No, two. Maybe four?
To be honest, time isn’t even a concept in your book as you swing your arm with your friend’s, a drunken-dopey smile on your face as you relish the feeling of the dirt and grass against your bare skin. 
Maybe you would’ve known when Mark had handed you the first shot, eyes flicking absentmindedly to the mounted clock in Johnny’s spacious living room — but you hadn’t cared enough then to figure out the numbers and read the time properly. In fact, you don’t think you were even thinking about anything except getting a bit of alcohol in your system. Forgetting was the first thing on your mind.
And boy, did everything spiral from there.
You recall vague bits here and there, from getting too close with familiar faces to being handed funky glasses with sparkly liquids. It was all a blur of overdue laughter and shots after shots, and you have to admit, completely letting loose for the first time in a while felt numbing in the most beautiful way.
You remember Mark drunkenly laying his head down in your lap at one point, tapping the hard liquor in your solo cup and mumbling a happy, “water fountain?” up at you. You weren’t seeing double just yet, but you certainly weren’t thinking straight enough either to comprehend his words fully. So, with absolutely no hesitation and a tipsy giggle, you poured the rest of the contents in your cup into his open mouth as carefully as you could (read: not careful at all). He had sat up with a cheeky smile, wiping the surprisingly dark, bloodred liquid from his bottom lip before it dribbled down and stained his skin.
Everything after that moment felt muggy, like a heavy blanket was wrapped around your head and knotted twice around your neck. You suppose that the alcohol added up at some point, pushing you past the point of clarity.
And suddenly now, you’re here. In the grass with Chaewon, doing only God knows what in a freezing night chill with your short dress and absence of a cozy summer jacket. You don’t even know how you got outside in the first place.
The cold air is good for you, however, as you can feel the blurriness start to fade away bit by bit. You’re not stumbling around as much anymore, but your grip on your friend’s hand is as tight as ever as you make your way through pretty flower bushes and onto a stone path.
“Oh no, someone dropped their phone,” Chaewon laments with exaggerated sadness — no doubt the alcohol talking — before leaning down to pick up the shiny device. Dusting it off with her fingers, she traces a frowny face into its glass, causing it to suddenly turn on.
“Jesus,” you squint into its blinding screen, mentally cursing the person who had the brightness turned all the way up and causing tiny white dots to appear in your vision. “What time is it?”
“You have eyes, look yourself,” Chaewon turns her head towards you dramatically, words slightly slurred as she throws you an unimpressed look. “But it’s 2:43 am. I can’t believe we’re still conscious.”
You groan, rubbing lightly at your eye before she’s talking again, swaying slightly as she speaks. Letting your gaze wander, you let yourself linger on the few people either passed out on messy lawn chairs or calling their friends for late night rides. Some are standing around like you and Chae, heads hanging down and clearly not in their best condition. There’s people with their arms thrown over the shoulders of their friends too, providing obvious support for their less coherent counterparts.
A couple half hidden behind the edge of the balcony catches your eye, your muggy mind inwardly gushing at how cute they are. You want a relationship like that. Their figures are hidden by the shadows of the house, but you can still see how the boy holds her forearm with care as he leans against the stones with her, head tilted impossibly close to the girl’s to display his full attention on whatever she’s telling him through her hushed whispers. 
“—it’s okay ‘cause we’re sleeping over at Johnny’s tonight anyway. And, he has like a thousand guest bedrooms so we can choose any one of them—”
The couple lean into the wall more, the light repositioning as they shift their bodies closer, obviously very comfortable with each other. The girl moves further into the light, shiny hair catching onto the glow as she turns in place. He chases her movements, following her into the beam of the balcony lights as their faces are lit up under the sudden absence of shade.
You breathe out.
No way.
“—and I’ve always wanted to stay at Johnny’s and experience that rich kid life, you know? I wonder what it’s like to—”
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
You think that your heartbeat physically stops as you take in the scene before you. Like a thin arrow slicing right through the flesh and tissue of your heart, and it’s violently humbling. Bruising, even.
Stop.
There’s Saemi. And there’s Jeong Jaehyun too in all his glory, looking at her with the stars glittering in his eyes as she tilts her head up towards him.
Your mind goes blank.
“Hey, Y/N, I’ll catch up with you later, okay? Promise.”
That was what, four hours ago?
Ha.
You sober up immediately, like your head has just just been ruthlessly plunged into a bucket of ice cold water. Like God himself is telling you to face the fucking music and come back down to reality. And if you concentrate hard enough, you can even hear your soul shattering, its pieces clattering down and settling at the bottom of your stomach because you actually feel like you might throw up.
I should’ve known, is the phrase that repeats like a mantra in your head, manically getting louder and louder as you blink in pain. Your eyes refuse to leave them for some reason, watching the way his hand comes up to rest on the junction between her neck and shoulder with a delicate touch.
A bitter taste floods your mouth. You feel like you’re playing a one-sided game of push and pull, and it’s worn you out; it’s not disappointment, or even jealousy that fills your body, but fatigue. It’s tiring to let yourself hope, and then get let down time after time and you feel stupid. Disgusted at yourself, even, for attempting to appeal to a boy who had never given you the time of day in the past even though everyone was aware of how blatantly obvious your crush on him was.
You’ve always prided yourself on how true to your own character you are, but in this moment, you feel like a child watching real adults in the real world. Two years' age difference isn’t much in retrospect, but at this moment, Lim Saemi seems like a whole generation above you. Her maturity shines through every part of her — from her gait to the way she dresses to the way she leans into Jaehyun — and you can’t help but let your worst insecurity get to you as they get impossibly closer.
It hurts, because he’s not even mine.
“Y/N, are you listening?”
You don’t answer.
And when the soft plush of his lips come down to place a gentle kiss against her forehead, you decide that you’ve seen enough.
Your mouth feels like paper, your head feels like it’s about to split open, and you feel like shit.
Blearily blinking one eye open and then immediately shutting it after getting a glimpse of an unfamiliar ceiling, you groan out loud before stuffing your face into your arm.
Somehow, the little bit of willpower left in you forces your body to get off of the bed you’re on, stumble through the darkness (you think you accidentally trip over a stray body on the ground too), and feel your way to the hallway. Your brain has completely shut off, but you’re also fucking parched and nothing will get in the way of you and water right now.
Your feet miraculously lead you to the empty expanse of Johnny’s kitchen, little sunlight reaching its pristine tiles at such an early hour. Glancing at the red clock numbers on the oven, you blanch when it displays a mocking 6:04am. You’re lucky that your hangovers don’t hit too hard. Pouring yourself a glass of water, you can finally swallow and lean back against the counter in relief as you take a deep breath.
And that’s when it hits you. That’s when everything hits you.
You almost choke on your water as your mind pulls last night from the depths of its sleepiness, from the drinking to the unwanted feelings to the sensation of blacking out. You remember it all.
Taeyong taking a body shot in front of you (scarred). Johnny making out with one of your close school friends in front of you (scarred x2). Mark handing you drink after drink. Chaewon leading you into the garden for fresh air. And… and seeing the boy you like with a girl you thought he had nothing to do with anymore.
Like a floodgate of torturous memories, your mind automatically replays every little interaction without warning as you throw your head back against a cabinet in regret. It’s as if you have no control over what you get reminded of and what you don’t, because of course, the first thing that flashes before you is the feeling you felt when you saw Jeong Jaehyun in the courtyard. 
His arm wrapped around the shoulder of Saemi’s as your best friend desperately vied for your attention, the girl finally following your line of sight to eventually see the scene you were watching in chilling silence. And Chaewon had noticed it all, from the way he smiled down at her to the very moment he looked up in your direction.
“Y/N…” she had whispered, the pity clear in her tone. You’d turned your head away quickly, not wanting her to see the tears gathering on your lash-line, but she couldn’t help but notice the way you reached up to wipe them away. Your body had gone into autodrive, quickly moving to the side to get away from the two as fast as you could. Chaewon reached out for you before turning back to glare at Jaehyun, surprised to see him already staring right at you.
He seemed unfairly distraught and guilty in her eyes, his gaze conflicted as his hands fell from Saemi’s face in a flash and hovered in the air in shock. A few seconds later and he snapped out of it, leaving her standing alone and rushing over in your direction, seemingly trying to reach you before you got lost in the mass of people inside the mansion. 
As he passed Chaewon’s lingering form, her hand flew out to latch onto his shoulder. 
Shaking her head at him — as if saying, you lost your chance ages ago — it was then that she truly felt awful about the inner turmoil her best friend was constantly subjected to when liking a boy like that. 
Wincing, you press a cheek to the cold marble countertop of the kitchen as all of your thoughts flitter through your consciousness at once. You wish the dull throbbing in your head would stop, and even thinking about it makes you shift uncomfortably in place, itching to just get outside and clear your mind with fresh air.
Fuck it, you decide, no one’s awake anyway. I need to get away, even if it's only for a few moments.
Pushing your hair out of your face, you finish your water before heading out. There’s an unusual smell of artificial roses as you move through the hallways and descend the grand staircase; it’s eerie to walk in a silent house, all of the hallways dark and stoic. Johnny’s mansion looks like a mini natural disaster with the way decorations and bottles are strewn across its marble floors, almost like savages making use of a castle. It’s like a presentation of physical evidence of what took place last night.
Finally making it outside into the crisp morning air, you relish in the chirping of the songbirds and empty expanse of a dew-tipped garden. Taking a deep breath, you shiver slightly before heading down a small hill behind the garden. You recall there being a lake behind the property that Taeyong and Johnny used to bring you to when you were younger, one with a small dock that retreated far enough into the water that you could be alone without having the urge to constantly look towards the house again.
You don’t expect anyone to be awake — or even outside — this early, but it comes as a surprise when you almost trip over a figure sitting on the bottom-most stone step. Putting a hand to your heart, your eyes widen as they turn to look up at you.
“Oh… hi. I didn’t expect anyone would be awake this early.”
“Yeah, I just needed some fresh air,” you say, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “So I’m going down to the dock…”
“Ah. I see… um. You- you wouldn’t mind if I joined you, right?”
Life is funny sometimes.
As you swing your legs gently above the light waves, you can’t help but think about the irony of the situation you’re in. You bite your lip before turning to the person next to you, their knees pulled up to their chest as they stare out into the water. 
“Saemi…”
The girl turns to you, a hesitant smile on her face as she reaches out for your hand.
Lim Saemi takes your fingers between hers before letting out a deep sigh, the talkative persona she normally holds, gone, as she looks between each of your eyes. The hesitance between the two of you is awkward in a way. You’ve never had a full conversation with her and you’ve always assumed things about her based off of others’ recountings, but she couldn’t be more different now. 
The little imaginary devil on your shoulder shakes her pitchfork at you, as if saying, “you should be hating her, remember?” 
You look down to hide your slight frown.
“I think we have a lot to talk about,” she starts, voice tentative and slow as she purses her lips in contemplation. You still. Nodding your head, you let her move closer to you on the wooden planks of the dock before she makes eye contact with you again.
“You know, sometimes it scares me how alike you and Taeyong look. It’s like staring into a mirror image, and I feel like I see memories in you that I associate with your brother.” 
You cock your head at her words. “...we’re pretty similar people too, I think,” you whisper back, an automatic smile reaching your face as your mind finds its own way to him.
“I think so too,” she grins. “Actually, Taeyong and I have been friends for a long time, and he’s always speaked of you so fondly that I couldn’t help but anticipate meeting you. I would see glimpses of you here and there, and he would constantly mention his baby sister and how much he worried about her. He was the best older brother, and anyone could see it.” She pauses, taking in a deep breath. “Yet he treats his friends the very same way, with the same adoration and care. It doesn’t matter how much Taeyong will grow in the future with his escalating popularity and growing talent in music, he’ll always have the kindest soul in my eyes. I’m genuinely so thankful for him, Y/N.”
To hear someone speak about your brother like that triggers an emotion in you that you didn’t even know you had, gaze curious as you wait for her to continue.
“I don’t really know how to start this conversation to be honest, but- I bet you know how hard high school is.” You nod, grimacing at all of the particular more negative memories you have. “You’re balancing on that fine line between feeling too adult to be in school and feeling too childish to live your own life yet, and I, for one, most definitely didn’t know how to deal with such a sudden change in my social and academic surroundings. I think I changed physically a lot then, too. My face, my body, everything. I started morphing into someone that I couldn’t recognize in the mirror, and I came to the realization that boys liked me first for my appearance, not my personality. And… and you know what I regret the most? I learned how to use my body as a weapon.”
“I learned how to change the way I talk, how to talk to boys so that I could get them to do what I want, and suddenly, everything changed even faster. People flocked to me, which is what I had always secretly wanted, but the person that they wanted wasn’t me. I had flown a bit too close to the sun and now I was stuck with this facade that I couldn’t get rid of. It was never just ‘Saemi,’ I was always simply the object of their desires, something to be acquired. And I had brought it upon myself.”
Recalling the Saemi you knew and recognized in high school, you have a bit more of an understanding of her now. She held up a front in order to protect herself, and as a result, she lost touch with her own self. Your heart hurts for her as you hesitate to reach out and offer comfort. 
“Your brother was the first one who understood me right away. We met in detention during our second to last year, and he saw right through me in the first ten minutes. Sat me down in the teacher’s empty chair and told me that I was a bitch for breaking one of his friend’s hearts.” She closes her eyes as she recalls that very afternoon. “Taeyong gave it to me plain and straight that day: I shouldn’t have promised false love to so many boys if I wasn’t planning to give it in the first place. Your brother may have been a player too, but the boundaries he always set with his girls made him a thousand times better than I was.”
You place your hand on hers, Saemi giving you a grateful smile in return. 
“I thought hard about myself and my decisions after that, and I decided that if I wanted to enjoy the last years of my secondary schooling, I needed to take back control of my own actions. After I apologized to his friend, he offered me genuine friendship in the weeks following, one without the jealousy and lust that I was always caught up in before. I had always been surrounded with so much toxicity, and he was able to pull me out of it so easily that I finally felt seen for the first time.” 
She pauses, glancing at you briefly before staring up at the sky. 
“That was also… the first time I met Jaehyun.”
You shift, staring down at your shoe laces as they sway lightly with the wind. 
Ah, you smile sadly to yourself. We’ve gotten to this part of the story.
“Your brother brought me along with him one day to one of his parties, and I had truly never been enamored with a boy that quickly before.”
You can tell that Saemi’s choosing her words carefully with you, and they hit a lot harder when you relate to what she’s saying. You’re certainly no stranger to his charm.
“We started talking that night and Jaehyun had somehow broken down all of the walls I had carefully built up within the first month of knowing each other. It was new for me. My personal mantra had always followed the lines of, ‘if they like what they see and feel, I might as well use it to my advantage.’ But it was different with him. I didn’t want us to be a one time thing, and I certainly did not want him to think of me as something who couldn’t do that kind of serious relationship shit. I wanted him to like me so badly without thinking about if I had genuine feelings towards him in the first place.”
She takes another deep breath, as if she���s collecting her thoughts, before leaning forward with an airy laugh and sadness clear in her eyes. 
“Have you ever mistaken love for dependency, Y/N?” 
Have you? 
You think back to all the people you’ve liked throughout your teenage years, ranging from hallway crushes to… well- Jaehyun. Your pupils dart to the water as you think about the idea of depending on a person. Do I depend on the people I like, or do I know when to distance myself?
You shake your head. 
“Jaehyun and I… we jumped into everything too quickly. It wasn’t even a right person, wrong time situation; we simply weren’t ready. We tried putting our all into this lone spark that we felt without stepping back and really looking at our relationship.” She stops to observe the rising sun above the lake, its golden reflection casting a healthy glow on her skin. Saemi’s beautiful like this, her feelings bare and raw before you as she lays out her emotions so vulnerably. 
“I guess I never really loved Jaehyun in the way he loved me. He was looking for something tender and real, and younger me was not in the capacity to give that to him. I tried to convince myself every single fucking day that I liked him in that way, but even I knew deep down that my I would never convince myself. I still had this lingering, detrimental mentality of seeing boys as something I could win over, and my fascination with him intertwined with that in ugly ways.”
Saemi’s face falls a little before she takes both of your hands in hers, eyes sincere as she peers at you. 
“The reason I’m telling you all this is because… I saw you,” she whispers carefully, watching your reaction. “Last night. When Jaehyun and I were together in the garden… I saw you watching before you walked away.”
Your heart drops as you look down at her hands holding yours so carefully, her pretty fingers encompassing your wrist as you unwillingly recall the worst emotions you had felt in a while. 
She saw. 
You only manage to get out a small, “oh,” before she squeezes your hand reassuringly. 
“Hey hey hey, look at me,” she leans down slightly to put herself at eye level with you. The edges of her lips quirk up in the slightest, her hair falling elegantly against her face as the wind picks it up and puts it back down again. “I don’t want you to misunderstand. Why? Because all those years ago, Jaehyun misunderstood, and I misunderstood, and it was all of these assumptions and forced feelings that drove our relationship to its grave. We were shit at communicating with each other properly, and that eventually hurt both of us too deeply to heal the right way.”
You nod at her hesitantly, taking in what she’s saying with a newfound understanding. Saemi sighs before smiling again at you. 
“I’ve hurt a lot of people in the past,” she says, forlorn, her eyes crinkled as she sniffs in the cold of the morning. “And I never got the chance to apologize to them properly. But last night, I finally worked up the confidence to revisit our high school days with Jaehyun.” She stops, leaning back onto the dock with her hands behind her. Her eyes close as she soaks in the morning sun, and you can’t help but mirror the position as your heart warms for her. “We finally got our much needed closure last night, and I was feeling a bit down afterwards so he was simply comforting me. And I won’t weigh you down with all the nitty gritty details, but we were able to see our ending all the way through without letting our emotions get in the way.”
You can’t help but reach out and hug the girl, your arms wrapping comfortably around her shoulders to express your awe and gratitude. With a little noise of surprise, Saemi pauses for a few seconds before embracing you back. Everything makes more sense now, and you can’t help but feel a little ashamed for jumping to conclusions so easily. 
“I’m so grateful that you shared all that with me,” you mumble into her shirt, her chuckle ringing out into the lake as she rubs your back like an older sister would. 
“Of course. If anyone deserved to hear all of this, it would be you.”
“Why?”
Saemi snorts, pulling back from your hug before lifting an eyebrow at you. 
“Oh please, Y/N, you should see Jaehyun from everyone else’s eyes. We can all see the way he looks at you.” Your mouth drops open slightly, tilting your head in confusion. 
“He looks at me a certain way?”
“God, I have never met two more stupid people in my lifetime,” she groans, bringing her fingers up to her temple. “And I say this lovingly, of course.”
With a fond look on her face, she nudges your shoulder. “But I’m really glad Jaehyun has someone like you.”
You bashfully look down at the water, a rosy blush creeping up your cheeks at her words. You were never 100% sure of where you stood with him, but that familiar feeling of hope has started to creep up once again. Could I go through that again, though? That same push and pull?
Seeming to sense your sudden aversion, Saemi loops her arm through yours in one smooth motion and sets your hand in her lap.
“Hey. Promise me you’ll go talk to him?”
You hesitate to reply, mouth dry as you think about everything she’s poured out to you. You think about your own feelings, and you think about the possibility of having something more with Jaehyun. You think about his history with Saemi, and how this issue of communication has ruined your confidence so many times. But what is it all worth if you don’t try?
With a slow nod, you offer her a reassuring smile before dusting off your clothes and standing up. “Promise.”
Saemi grins at you.
“That’s my girl.”
“Jaehyun?” she asks, putting a hand out on his arm as he looks behind her, distressed. She’s never seen him like this, a nervous jitter in his hands as his eyes dart around at the scene behind them.
Turning around, she just manages to catch a glimpse of a girl rushing towards the back of the house, her head downturned but not masking the obvious face of discomfort in her features. Her friend turns around to glare at them before following close after.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, chewing on his lip as he hesitates to run after your escaping form. “I fucked up so bad, Saemi.” Running a hand through his hair in frustration, he lets out a noise of exasperation as he watches you get farther and farther away. 
“What?”
“She’s leaving, Saemi. What do I do, what do I do,” he mumbles under his breath. “I just know she’s gonna think I hurt her on purpose. I always fuck it up somehow.”
“Woah, let’s breathe first,” she holds him steady at the shoulders, grip strong as she turns his body to face hers. “Breathe slowly.”
After a few panicked breaths, he looks back at her and attempts to inhale at a slower pace. A few seconds pass and he’s calmed down already, but a worried crease still flits across his features nonetheless.
“Listen to me, Jaehyun. Don’t leave her in the dark.”
His body loses tension bit by bit as he nods back a little, a heavy look in his eyes.
“We both know how that feels, better than anyone.”
Twenty-three missed calls.
That’s how many you’ve accumulated over one day.
You do the math on your bedroom ceiling as you lay splayed out on the mattress like a starfish. Each glow-in-the-dark, plastic star represents a missed call, and they swim across your vision as you point up at them with your hand to count them. 
There’s seven from Mark, another seven from Chaewon, four from Taeyong, one from Johnny, and the remaining four? Mentally moving the glowing stars across the solar system of the ceiling, you pick four of the brightest glowing stars before keeping them hidden in a little group at the corner of your eye.
4 missed calls from Jeong Jaehyun, your phone reads from beside you on the mattress, the screen habitually lighting up throughout the day.
Your hand itches to grab it and just call him like you so desperately want to, but you exercise self-restraint as you roll over and stuff your face into your pillow. It’s unfairly hot tonight — the sticky, humid type —  and being surrounded by all of your fluffy blankets and pillows does nothing to help your condition, but you don’t want to move out of your room. Letting out a muffled scream into the fabric, you groan to yourself when you realize that all of the problems floating around in your head won’t just magically disappear.
A normal Sunday would have gone like this: waking up mid afternoon with an abnormally large appetite, eating the entire contents of your kitchen to your heart’s content, and then going back to bed. Unfortunately, today was a bit different.
For the entire day, you’ve been busy. Busy thinking.
You had quickly left Johnny’s estate after your talk with Saemi early in the morning, borrowing one of Johnny’s cars from his garage and leaving him a little note that you’d return it soon (to be honest, you doubt that he’ll even notice). You’ve been in your room ever since. 
With your eyes trained out the window, your record player ran through entire sets of albums as you lay on your bed in contemplation for the entirety of the afternoon. The fan in your room barely kept you cool as it picked up the fabric of your sundress every few minutes, marking another block of time that had gone by without you getting up and doing something about your position. 
You let out a humph before throwing an arm over your eyes and retreating back into deep thought.
I’ve been distancing myself from him the entire day, and that’s the opposite of what I want to do, right? I’m turning into exactly what Saemi warned me not to.
Biting your lip, you turn your body over to stare at your motionless phone. But what should I do?
In a single impulsive movement, you reach out to grab the device before you can change your mind. Your fingers lead you to your contacts before your brain can catch up.
You can’t even fully register what you’ve just done, but Jaehyun’s name flashing across your screen certainly makes it all very much real, your phone waiting for him to pick up on the other side of the line. Your face gets hotter and hotter as the seconds tick on, the beeping of a no-caller reply heightening your nerves.
Finally, with a little click from your hand, he picks up. Your eyes widen. You really didn’t really think this through; now you had to actually talk to him.
“Hey,” Jaehyun sounds out, his voice breathless. “I- are you okay?”
“Yeah.” At least I think I am, you add on to yourself, grimacing. “Um… are you free today?”
“Am- am I free today? Yes! I mean yes, yes I’m free today.” 
You can’t help but smile at the way he trips over his words a bit, his nervousness bleeding over your speaker. 
“Well then, rooftop at mine at 10?”
“For real?” Jaehyun exclaims, checking the time on his alarm clock. That’s in twenty minutes. “Wait, I’ll be there. I promise.”
And with that, the two of you hang up with a million unspoken words and unfinished sentences. You let out the breath you were holding in, because you genuinely thought you would pass out when you heard Jaehyun’s voice again after finding out all that you did. Throwing yourself against your bed, you let yourself indulge in your feeling of hope again.
“He’ll be here,” you sigh in happiness to yourself. You relax into your pillows before springing up immediately, a look of horror taking over your face. “Oh my god, he’ll be here.”
Rushing around your room with a newfound energy, you make sure you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed (although you technically did just roll out of bed, but he doesn’t have to know that) before unlatching the window of your bedroom and carefully climbing out onto your roof.
It’s well past dusk now, and the sky is abnormally clear with not a single cloud in sight. The moon shines brilliantly in its place as it casts an eerie glow on the panels you’re sitting on, their bumpy texture making it seem like the material is constantly shifting. 
You let yourself go for a moment, resting your head in the palms of your heads before staring out at the roofs of your city. They create a complex, urban terrain: a mix of timely balconies and rooftop gardens, orange lanterns and fairy lights alike. 
The beeping of a car horn brings you out of your daze. Peering down into the street below you, a familiar, classy black car is visible through all of the telephone lines. 
Okay Y/N, deep breaths. 
Jaehyun gets out of the front seat, immediately looking up in hopes of catching a glimpse of you before you notice he’s there. However, when his eyes follow the length of your house up, he finds that you’re already staring at him with an unreadable expression. 
He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this nervous in his life. With cold hands, he lifts himself onto the electrical box beside your house before climbing up onto the slope of the roof, climbing over to you with an uneasy smile on his face. 
“Hey.”
You tuck your chin into your arms, leaning forward to look at him curiously. “You could’ve taken the window, you know, but that works too.”
“What’s life without any risks, hm?”
As he settles himself, you can’t help but think that there’s a double lining to his words. “That’s the most Jaehyun-esque thing I’ve ever heard.”
His laugh warms your heart in a way you didn't know it could.
The first few moments are quiet, just two pairs of eyes looking up at the stars before Jaehyun breaks the silence with a small cough. 
“We got lucky, there’s no clouds tonight. Pure stars.” You look over in his general direction, his gaze not even directed towards the sky anymore. 
He pauses, so you turn and happen to meet eyes at the same time. Both of you open your mouths to talk, prompted by the invisible tension between you. 
“Let me just say that—“ 
“I just wanted to tell you—“ he starts at the same time you do, eyes widening when you both go quiet once again. “You go first.” Giving him a grateful smile, you think a bit about how to express yourself before twisting your body completely so that you’re facing him. 
“I just wanted to apologize first,” you start, holding up a hand when Jaehyun starts to protest. “Wait. I really want to tell you this before I get too nervous to.”
“I know everyone was worried when I went kinda off the grid this morning, but I needed some time alone with my thoughts. I shouldn't have ignored you like that, especially when things seemed so off between us. This is really hard to say to your face but,” you glance away from him as he waits patiently for you, “I always feel this rush of different emotions whenever I’m around you. And sometimes it’s confusing, but other times—“ stopping to exhale, you notice Jaehyun’s grin from the corner of your eye. 
“Hey, why are you laughing? I’m trying to be serious right now,” you whine. He simply puts his hand up to his mouth to hide the elated expression on his face. 
“You’re just too cute, that’s all,” he replies adoringly, his eyes creasing behind his hand. 
“I can’t take this,” you mutter in embarrassment, stuffing your face into your arm to hide the blush of your cheeks. “See! Stuff like that. You make me experience, like, thirty different emotions at once.”
He simply giggles at you, throwing out a little “my bad,” but he doesn’t sound very sorry at all. You nudge him in the arm.
“Sorry sorry, Y/N. Wait, I’ll be serious now.”
Both of you taking deep breaths, you put your hand up to your heart to calm its erratic beating as Jaehyun composes his expression back to normal. 
“I really wanted to apologize too.”
You glance at him in surprise as the words leave his mouth, sincere and heavy. 
“I’ve been pretty shitty to you, and I recognize how confusing it must have been for you to watch me constantly go back and forth between different personas. Honestly, being back home forced me to face the people here, and suddenly I was thrown into this internal conflict between my high school life and my present self. That’s still no excuse for how many mixed signals I gave you these past few months, but I want you to know that it was never my intention to hurt you.”
Reaching out to brush a small leaf off your shoulder, his hand trails down your arm until he’s taken your hand in his. You can tell how much he means it by the way he’s looking at you — like you hold the entire galaxy in your eyes. You think that you finally see a replication of how you look at him yourself; after all, it’s being reflected back to you right now. 
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“I hope you can tell, but I really like you,” he whispers, bringing your hand up to his chest. He wants you to feel how much his nerves are racing just as fast as yours. 
You think that your heart just about stops. You’ve dreamt of this moment since you were younger, and now that it’s finally coming to life, it’s unreal to think that he feels the same.
“I think you know how I feel,” you reply back quietly, looking down at your hands entwined with his. 
“Say it?” he asks with a pleading face, the corners of his lips quirking up when you roll your eyes. 
“Jeong Jaehyun, do you really think I believe that you didn’t know that I’ve liked you ever since we were kids?” Shaking his head innocently at your suspicion, he pouts in a manner that’s very unlike him. 
“Fine,” you give up, unable to hide the smile creeping up on your face. “I like you Jaehyun, I like you so much that you don’t even know how happy I am right now.”
“Oh, I know. Come here,” he scoots over before tapping the side of his shoulder with his finger. Not getting the memo, you tilt your head inquisitively before he reaches over himself and puts your head on his shoulder himself. If your heart was skipping beats before, it’s probably failing to beat at all now. 
“I want you to trust me,” he murmurs under his breath, his grip tightening on your hand. “I know I don’t have the best track record right now, but I’ll prove to you how much I like you.”
You furrow your brows in confusion. “You don’t have to prove anything…“ You wholeheartedly believe and trust in his feelings, but with the way he’s looking at you right now, you decide to humor him and raise an eyebrow prompting him to go on. 
“Wait, you’ll do anything?” You ask, looking up at the stars to hide your telling grin. 
“Anything. Even suffer through another one of those awful DiCaprio movies.”
“Suffer?” you exclaim, your head lifting off of his shoulder with his words. 
“Shit- no no not suffer. Who said suffer? You must’ve misheard me, I most definitely said enjoy.”
“You’re on thin ice, Jeong.”
He snorts at your threatening expression, an arm snaking behind you to wrap around your waist protectively. 
Turning his head to look down at you, you’re met with his nose almost touching yours. You can see every eyelash, every freckle adorning his skin as neither of you make the motion to move away. 
Jaehyun loses his breath at the sight of you so close. He keeps his teasing eyes on yours before taking that extra step forward to bump your noses together. Glancing down at your lips, he steadies himself so that his voice can sound as confident as he envisions it in his head. 
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please, Jaehyun.”
With your consent, he pulls you forward by the waist before slotting your lips together carefully. You’re not sure if it’s the pressure at which he’s holding you, or the fact that you’ve waited for this moment for almost your entire youth, but kissing Jaehyun is glorious. 
He moves a hand up to cup the back of your neck before pushing forward impossibly closer, tucking your hair behind your ear in one smooth motion as his mouth moves in tandem with yours. 
You make a noise of surprise when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, giving you a little nip before licking over the skin carefully. The passion and lust that seeps through his tongue is made clear as the minutes pass, and your reactions only spur him on.
Th mix of his skin on yours burning its way across your body and the delicacy at which he touches you makes your heart alight for a completely different reason. Threading your fingers through his hair, you're delighted to find that that particular motion makes him shudder under your hands, and kiss you more like his life depends on it.
After a while of marking each other's skin and exchanging sweet nothings between his kisses, you tap his chest to pull apart for air, your breathless mien making him grin smugly. 
“I’m that good, huh?”
“Shut up, Jaehyun.”
The rings on your fingers clink with his as you hand him a metal camping cup, its silver surface hot to the touch even at night. Glancing up at Jaehyun, you laugh when you catch his skeptical expression. 
“The hell is this…” he asks in borderline horror as the liquid in his cup sloshes around. 
“Mark’s gonna love hearing that,” you remark, putting your own cup to your lips as you bring your knees to your chest.
It’s the most comfortable when you’re with Jaehyun like this, sitting on the hood of his car in the dead of the night to stargaze into the early hours of the morning. 
It’s been a few weeks since that night on the rooftop, and you’ve never felt more alive. From long drives with Taeyong to mini adventures with Mark, and from jukebox diners with Chaewon and constellation hunting with Jaehyun, you finally feel at home in a place you’re about to leave. University is close on the horizon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend your last free evenings with the people you love the most. 
“Is this your recipe?” Jaehyun asks, pulling up your legs so that they rest over his lap. You shake your head with a cheeky smile. 
“Stole it,” you whisper, scrunching your nose at the distinct smell. 
“And what did Mark’s creative ass come up with this time,” he laments back, taking your cup to compare it with his in confusion. 
“Our cups hold the same exact thing, Jaehyun. I didn’t secretly poison your drink if that’s what you’re thinking, and I know you are.” You take back your cup before taking another sip and taking a little piece of paper out of your pocket to read from. “But anyway, it's ‘orange liquor, orange juice, lime juice, maple syrup, sliced jalapeño, and agave blanco sugar in the rim.’ You can steal the recipe too, but don't tell him that I gave it to you. He’d murder me.”
“Mm,” he muses, nuzzling into your neck. “I wouldn’t want my girlfriend dead.”
You freeze in mid-air, mind turning the title over and over again in your head. “Girlfriend?”
Jaehyun sits up immediately, looking at you with the most mortified expression on his face. “Fuck, I never asked you to be my girlfriend, did I?”
With a small giggle at his antics, you simply lean against him and pat his arm in consolation. “It’s okay, I don’t need a label to know how you feel about me.” Jaehyun hums contently before suddenly wrapping his arms around you, your delighted shriek ringing out as he pulls you down with him and falls back against the metal roof of the car. 
“Can we just stay like this forever?” 
You sigh in satisfaction as your body follows the rises and falls of his chest. The stars above seem to blink happily at the two of you as they make their way across the sky, the little, twinkling lights of overpassing planes highlighting their presence.
Intertwining your fingers with his, he gently kisses the side of your face before closing his eyes.
Even if the two of you hadn’t realized it yet, it had always been like this: two childish souls crafting the idea of mature love. Two blooming young adults, with fizzing feelings and cherry picked lips, daring to love one another like the grownups in black and white colored movies.
Your summers are defined by sticky ‘n sweet cherry cola, rides around the abandoned carousel with your friends, and “borrowing” quarters out of your brother’s Cadillac to insert into the jukebox of the local diner. They’re tinged with the taste of Mark’s special drinks and Chaewon’s sweet words, with Taeyong’s cheery voice ringing out throughout your house and your parents’ weekly sitcom reruns. And most of all, summers are made of Jaehyun’s lavender cologne and the way he holds you close when you need it the most.
“Don’t be surprised if the moon calls you by name, Y/N, because I tell her about you all the time.”
<3 you can find their character profiles HERE.
[ for Y/N, mark, chaewon, jaehyun, taeyong, and saemi ]
xoxo
2023 © kiachiako | all rights reserved.
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chrollohearttags · 1 year
Text
toxic armin as your little mischievous work boyfriend that’s always flirting with you on the clock and trying to fuck on you after hours.
cw: nsfw, black fem reader, friends with benefits, both reader and Armin are toxic, fingering, car/public sex, mentions of weed; both consuming and selling, and vaping, perv armin, (he uses a bit of vulgar language), infidelity, backshots, squirting, oral sex, bulging, spit play, daddy’s used like once
📝: just a little random drabble I thought of at like midnight last night as one does and couldn’t get it out of my head. Toxic Armin is my new obsession as of late. This is also inspired by my boo @lemmetreatya ‘s lovely, amazing series!
working with Armin was always an adventure in and of itself. Someone who looked so innocent and sweet, always being as helpful as possible, would have never made you guess that he was the exact opposite, later on down the line! Having both been employees of the local convenience store for a few months, specifically the night time, where you’d catch a few stragglers coming in and out to buy cigarettes and lottery tickets. Third shifters heading out for the long twelve hour intervals ahead and stocking up on energy drinks, chips and candy to keep themselves awake. All in all though, it was fairly peaceful so it left much room for the two of you to get acquainted. You would go an hour or two at a time without so much as a single customer walking through your doors. Oftentimes, leaving you to your own devices. That’s when you first came to know Armin for who he truly was.
both of you college students, working part time for a little extra money but it didn’t take long for you to learn of his real occupation..watching him go outside for frequent ‘smoke breaks’; sucking on a vape pen while passersby would slide their hand across his for some sort of exchange. And he knew every single blind spot around the perimeter to avoid getting caught. The first sign that you knew this man was slicker than oil. That boyish charm was fooling nobody! But you were no snitch and you’d keep your mouth closed, as long as he promised to supply you with your own free of charge. “I got you as soon as we clock out, don’t worry..” It was a small compromise he was willing to make..especially for a pretty girl like you. Having a friend and his own personal eye candy in one made this shitty little side gig all the more worth it. So the two of you would sit in the chairs, watching surveillance and whatever show you were into at the moment from your phones to pass the time. Not to mention, talk shit about your clientele and any other topic that came to mind.
including the most taboo one..however, it did arise one night while you were in the backroom, getting ready to do a restock and you were confiding in one another about ex partners and how bad the relationships were. Now, he did have a notorious reputation for being a fuck boy as well so you took his words with a grain of salt. Even so, it was entertaining to listen to his tales of him having sex with girls who would sneak behind their boyfriends backs to come see him. Supplying them with the dick they so desperately craved before blocking their numbers and never talking to them again. “Damn, Armin. So you doing bitches like that? I’m scared of you..” always joking and teasing him as he tried to downplay his own efforts. You couldn’t judge him too much though because there was a slew of niggas on your own line that you had ghosted after getting ate out and then dipping before giving anything in return. Maybe that’s why you two got along so well..you were equally toxic! Still, he’d just give that same nonchalant shrug and pretend otherwise.
“You’re so crazy, (y/n). I have no idea what you’re talking about. All I do is work and go to school.” And indeed, that’s exactly what it would seem to anyone who spotted the baby-faced boy..with his pouty expression and pretty blue eyes. His blonde shag, always a little scruffy but styled just right. A single tattoo going down his forearm and a tongue piercing between his lips. It was easy to see why anyone would leave what they had at home for his ass. But you weren’t the only one with wandering eyes. Armin would catch himself stealing glances at you as you stowed away boxes. It was a horrible thing to do but sometimes, he’d watch you struggle for a bit to place one on a high shelf just so he could see your tits as your tight fitting shirt lifted or that thick ass jiggle in your pants. “Sorry, let me come help you.” His favorite phrase to utter after getting his eyeful.
he couldn’t lie, he had his fair share of girls but not one was seeing you in any aspect. From that pretty dark brown complexion, deep set matching eyes, tall frame and stacked, curvy figure. Your makeup and nails stayed laced..he had never once caught you without long acrylics, a new install or fluttery lashes, whether extensions or minks. Two gold nose cuffs sitting on your nostrils and a freshly started tattoo sleeve going down your forearm. Courtesy of your tricks that would be lucky to get anything more than your conversation. He respected it, honestly. One look and it was easy to see why you were always having your way. You could probably talk him up out of his clothes and a little cash too. This job was nothing more than a means to an end for you both. Something to pass time and make a little pocket change.
also, the perfect place to hook up after hours! You had developed a pretty promiscuous habit of flirting throughout the night; making little slick, dirty comments to each other out of earshot of anyone and even sneaking feels away from the view of the camera. When you’d bend down, he’d press himself against you..slowly rutting those hips to your backside. Rubbing up on your breasts. You didn’t make it any easier when you subtly bounced it on his pelvis to make him hard. Garnering a tiny damp spot on the fronts of his joggers. He couldn’t help it when you were so fine..and thick as hell. “(Y/N), if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were trying to get me in trouble.” “You are smart. How’d you know?” It didn’t take long before you could no longer hold back on those desires and things came to a head one night when he offered to take you home after getting off a little earlier than expected due to a pipe burst in the store. You were perfectly capable of driving yourself but he had other plans. Once back in the parking lot of your apartment complex, he’d hand off the complimentary he promised you after making sales and you vowing your silence.
normally, he’d pre roll your blunts but he had to see you in action for himself. Sitting in his passenger seat; windows tinted, doors locked and the subtle thud on music playing through the speakers of his Infiniti G35, Armin so casually reclined his seat as you placed the ground up seedlings into the papers..flicking that long tongue across the line to seal it up. The way he glared up at you, subtly chewing on his lip with his eyes half shut.. “..what’s wrong?” “Oh, nothing..you just look pretty tonight, that’s all.”
a compliment that shouldn’t have meant anything coming from his mouth but the way he so suavely uttered it, you couldn’t help but to feel something. You’d pass the blunt back and forth, getting high in his front seat until you began to feel a buzz..one that worked its way to your private areas! “Y’know (y/n)..you can lick a blunt real good. Thought I should tell you that..” Randomly declaring in his intoxicated state as he leaned over and brushed your cheek. At first, only making you laugh. “Nah, I think your ass is just nasty.” And he wouldn’t attest, not one bit. Instead, he’d offer to prove just how right you were!
his hand slowly creeping up your shirt and working to unfasten your pants. Those little lips brushing against your own in a weed induced haze and eventually blossoming into full blown deep kisses. Those once dormant fingers found home inside of your panties as your work clothes began to disappear from your bodies. His shirt off and tossed on the back floorboard as he crawled closer to you. Those lanky digits working their way around those wet folds and plump lips. Hearing you moan against his mouth in reaction to having your clit massaged. Watching your reaction as he buried it to the knuckle. Eventually, he’d work it inside; watching you nearly claw the leather off of his door handle as he spread your legs wider and fucked you with those fingers. “You’re so fucking tight, I can barely fit another one in..” but he had plans to stretch that little pussy out before he left. Soon, you’d find his head resting between your thighs and the sounds of slurping arose from that seat. “Oh, fuck..Arminnnn. That shit feels so good..” whimpering with that blunt in one hand and his golden locks in the other. So greedily and proudly devouring your cunt as he had never done any other woman before. For further lube, he’d glance up into your eyes; his cheeks sandwiched between your palms and ask a favor:
“Spit in my mouth, right now.” Further proving what you said earlier to be very true. Even so, you did as he asked; leaning forward to let saliva drip between his teeth and he ate to his heart's content. “Nasty ass..I love it.” Soon, you’d find yourself making a massive mess of his chin and center console. By the time he was finished, you left him with a mouthful of sweet nectar..the best he had ever tasted. And him being your best eater by far!
“I’ve never had anybody make me squirt off of head, you something else.” Laughing as you tried to fein embarrassment. But he wanted to see that pretty smile and you taste the remnants of yourself. Running his finger underneath your chin and feeding you sloppy pecks. “That’s nothing, baby. I can keep you coming all night.” Besides, you were his first experience with one so he couldn’t wait to feel that first hand..watching you flow all over him. But first, you wanted to return the favor and let him get a taste of what you had to offer. It wasn’t long before you found yourselves on the backseat; ass up in the air and his khaki sweats shuffled around his ankles. Seconds later, you were swallowing him whole. Sucking on his tip and looking into his eyes as you did so. You’d slather him up in spit, jerk him off until he couldn’t take another moment of teasing and start fucking your face. Forcing your head down on his cock until you cover him in all that saliva. And just because he was so good to you earlier, you don’t let up until he’s filling your throat full of nut and shaking violently from his orgasm. “Goddamn, (y/n)..!” Kissing you immediately after you make him come.
from there, you found yourselves fucking wildly; letting him give you rough backshots as you fogged up the windows in a weed induced haze. Only taking him halfway with a thumb in your ass until you opened up for him to fit more; Intoxicated on it and each other. “This dick feel so fucking good..” “..yeah? So who does it belong to now? Tell me.” And the answer was blatantly obvious. Letting him pound you like crazy until he was satisfied with what you said. Even choking you until he elicited the correct response.. “You daddy..it’s yours.” Losing count of the amount of times you make one another climax until you’re both too exhausted to move. You wetting him up and him emptying himself inside of you, begging with the promise of getting you a Plan B if you allowed it.. “I don’t want to pull out, baby..let me nut in it, please..” and the way he talked you through your orgasms, you were more than glad to do so!
by the time it came to an end, it was nearly four am and you were both so exhausted that you allowed him to spend the night at your place. Needless to say, there wasn’t much sleep once he got you behind closed doors…beating you sore in the shower and then fucking you slowly from the side until he fell asleep with his cock nestled between your folds.
from that day forward, your part time job became all that more exciting. And your partner in crime turned friend with benefits made the night shifts much more tolerable.
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bandgie · 8 months
Text
Ghost in the Night
Ghostface!Jeongin x fem!reader
AU 1 | AU 2
synopsis: Keep your doors locks, shut your windows, don't go outside after sundown. Rules were quickly put in place when a killer, known as 'Ghostface,' began terrorizing your city. You listened to all these rules until finals night, but still, there's no way in hell Ghostface could get to you. Right?
warnings: MDNI 18+, DUBCON/NONCON, breaking an entry, implied kidnapping, PIV, forced oral (m! receiving), face slapping, blood/murder, face fucking, slight pain during sex (no prep) crying/begging, cumming inside, degrading words (slut, bitch, etc), not proofread,
4.1k words shheesshhh
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Another college student was found dead. Their throat slashed along with their stomach. The police found them in their apartment with the words 'COME FIND ME' smeared on the walls with blood. The story along made you queasy. This killer, who the town nicknamed Ghostface, has been on a spree for about two weeks now. It really happened out of the blue. One day, you're attending college parties, and the next, you're too scared to even shop for necessities.
Rumors began to speculate about who it could be. Many people thought it was the rival university, some thought it was the son of the dean who couldn't get into the school, most thought it was just a psycho. The question remained though, why did Ghostface only go after college students?
Your friends dropped out of college upon hearing the news. They urged you to do the same, but you were so close to graduating that you decided to push through. After all, most of the students attacked were sorority or frats, you weren't either of them. If you kept your head down, didn't attend the stupid parties students kept throwing because they liked the thrill, you would be fine.
So here you were, on the second floor of the library late at night. You're thankful your library had open hours until midnight, it was great for last minute studying. The librarian was very friendly, even offering to drive you home. "I hear about what's been happening," she tells you as she rubs her trails hands.
You shake your head, "Thank you for your concern. I really don't wanna waste your time, I'll be fine." She eyes you cautiously, as if hoping you'd second guess yourself and take her offer. When you don't, she sighs. "Fine, deary. You be safe out there." You nod your head and watch her descend back to her from post.
-
A few hours pass before you decide to head home, your brain fried from all the studying. You wave the librarian a goodbye and exit the doors, greeted with the moon and stars in the sky. Had there not been a killer loose, you would have loved to admire the view. It's a blood moon tonight, and you pray that it's a good omen.
While walking back to your dorm, you couldn't help but hear music blasting. You pass one of the frat dorms, watching as people passed out in the front lawns and other vomiting. You grimaced at the sight. How could they party like this when people were being brutally murdered? You ignored their hollers and whistles to continue on your path.
"Hey!" One of them shouts at you. You ignore it, walking faster to get to your safe place. "Hey! I'm calling you!" Still, you maintain your pace. If you keep walking fast enough, you'll be able to-
"Damn girl! I'm tryna talk to you," the guy had caught up to you. He held you by your upper arms stinking of booze. You turned to face him in an attempt to intimidate him, "I'm not interested." You try your best to sneer, but he only laughs. "Never said I wanted you to be. I was just gonna say you shouldn't be walking all alone." His ominous statement send chills down your spine.
"I appreciate you tryna be my hero, but like I said, I'm not interested." You sternness throws him off, and he quickly lets go of your arm. "Bitch," he mumbles, "I was just tryna help." You don't bother replying, quickly turning around to escape his presence. You can't trust anyone, you can't take your chances.
You make a sharp turn, hoping that you're out of his sight. It doesn't take long to hear the familiar steps behind you. Rather than ignoring him this time, you turn around quickly to confront him. "Didn't you fucking hear me? I said-" You stop yourself. You were fully excepting to see his drunk ass behind you, but instead your faced with nothing.
You shiver, whipping back around to scurry home. It was just the wind, you think. You can feel your heartbeat in your chest, feel the blood that pumps in your veins. No no no, calm down. You're fine. There's nothing here. Even while you try to relax your heartbeat, you start hearing the footsteps again.
Too scared to turn around, you run. Maybe there's nothing behind you at all. Maybe you're running like a manic only scaring yourself more. It doesn't matter though, you're filled with too much fear to think rationally.
Another turn, and you can see your dorm complex in the distance. You stop running as fast, convinced that you're just overreacting. You do keep a fast walk though, still unsure if you could really walk so carelessly. Your gaze is up in the sky, watching how the moon gets bigger and bigger.
The sky provides a good amount of light as you finally make your way to the front door as your house. You reach for your keys only to see that your front door is already open. Your eyebrows raise, unsure if your roommate just got home and forgot to close the door. You push it open, taking a peek. The lights are off and it's quiet. Perhaps they just forgot and went to sleep.
You walk in and flick on the light, setting your bag down. It's not until your eyes are better adjusted in the lighting that you see your roommate. She's hunched over, limp on the couch as if she was waiting for you. You gasp at her, jumping slightly.
"Oh my god!" You breathe. "Jesus Christ you scared the shit outta me." You take steps towards her waiting for her response. There is none. "Hey, girl you good?" You reach out to grasp her shoulder and the little contact makes her fall on the ground. It's then that you see the blood that pool on the couch, how easily her head lolls to the side.
You fall to the ground with her, flipping her around to see a giant slash across her neck. Her eyes are wide with fear, her mouth open as if she was screaming. You can't help but try to shake her despite it being in vain, tears falling down your face. You're so caught up in your mourning that you don't hear the footsteps that come towards you.
A shadow hovers over you, and you turn around to see the familiar descriptions you've seen in the news. A black cloak, gloved hands, a white mask with a permanent open mouth. You cry even harder upon the sight. A part of you doesn't think it's real, that it's all just a sick dream you're having. Even as the killer kneels down towards you to stare at your face, you pray it's just a nightmare.
"I had to come pretty quick, you were almost home," it speaks. You don't really register what he's saying. He straightens back up, "You know, I also killed that dude back there that grabbed you. Guys like that piss me off. They have no respect for personal space ya know what I mean?" Perhaps he said that as a joke, considering this man literally killed your roommate mere moments ago.
"Please," your voice is horse and thick with emotion. "I don't want-want to die." You start sobbing, bloody hands cradling your face in an attempt to comfort yourself. The masked man cocks his head to side, seemingly intrigued by your cries. "You think I'm gonna kill you?" He doesn't wait for an answer, yanking your head up by your hair. You whimper and nod, vision blurry with tears.
You try begging more, but all that comes out are garbles sentences and pathetic wails. Ghostface is rather enjoying the show, smiling behind his mask. "You've got a good crying face. Keep begging," his grip tightens on your hair. You do, and honestly he didn't even need to ask. In the midst of your sobs, you can feel the cold edge of something sharp against your throat. You feel it slowly dig into your neck, but not hard enough to break the skin.
The contact makes you freeze up, eyes wide with absolute terror. Ghostface literally moans at the sight. "Fuck, I love that look." He makes the knife dances around your neck, staring at how your pupils dilate. Pleasurable shivers travel his body, and he can feel the blood traveling to his cock. Killing you now would be a waste, he should at least have some fun first.
He removes the knife from your neck throws it across the room. You jump at the clattering noise, almost missing how he uses his now free hand to yank his pants down. On your knees, your face-to-dick with his half hard on. You almost throw up at the realization, eyes staring into the masks eyes pleading.
He shoves his crotch closer to your face, smearing his cock on your face. You keep your mouth closed, determined to keep your dignity intact. Ghostface doesn't like this, and pulls your hair back so hard you think you'll go bald. "You think this is a fucking game?" He forces you to look at him while he speaks. "You wanna end up like your bitch roommate? Huh?" You shake your head as you sob.
"That's what I fuckin' thought, get to work slut."
You don't think you can manage to even keep your mouth open with how violently your sobbing, but Ghostface doesn't wait for you to open up all the way. He quickly shoves his half hard in your mouth. You wrap your lips around it, trying your best not to gag. A part of you thinks about biting down on him, and he must see a glint in your eyes because he yanks your face off him.
The force of his pull makes you cry out, but he responds by slapping you hard across the face with his free hand. Pain surges in your face, and you can't help the continuous tears that fall. "If you fucking bite me, I'll make you choke on your own insides," he threatens. If it wasn't for the corpse of your roommate mere feet away, you would still believe him because of the look in his eye.
"I won't!" You speak through your cries. "I promise I promise just please don't hurt me." Ghostface smiles under his mask, giving your cheeks three more light slaps before shoving your face back on his cock. Determined to prove your life is worthy, you stick your tongue out to lick his underside. You can tell he surprised by the way his breath hitches.
You let your lips run over his length along with your tongue. Salvia quickly begins to pool in your mouth, and you spit on his dick. You carefully reach your hands up, scared that he might slap you again. You can tell he's watching with judgement as you grab the base of his cock with one of your hands. Your other one steads on your thigh as you let your mouth fall open.
Working in one fluid motion, you bob your head to the speed of your hand. His cock is smooth, save for the pulsating of his veins. He's completely hard now, and it's pretty difficult to get more than half his girth between your lips. Your hands become sticky with precum and spit. You can feel how your drool dibbles down your cheeks as you continue to take him in your mouth.
Now there's two hands in your hair, and he's started pull you closer and closer to him. A particular thrust of his hips has you gagging, nearly coughing his cock out. He doesn't let you pull him out, instead forcing you to keep a couple inches in. You're making noises that both sound like moaning and suffocating, and it turns him on a lot more than he'd like to admit.
Watching you try your best to suck his cock like your life depends on it makes him feel alive because, well, your life does depend on it. You doe eyes wide with fear and concentration amuses him, makes him feel almost bad for the fact that he's still going to kill you when you're done. Not to mention your lips, how swollen and red they are from pleasuring him.
A part of him wishes he could take his mask off, make you look him in the eyes rather than his mask. The clear view could possible make him cum quickly in your mouth. Instead, Ghostface makes do with your current state. You're dripping in him and your own liquids, hands feverishly moving easily in the slobber.
All you and him can hear are your choked sobs, wet sucking, and the occasional movement of his hips hitting your face. To both of your shock, you find yourself getting aroused by his cock in your mouth. The fear in your stomach slowly begins to bubble into desire. Your panties getting slightly damp. You can't stop yourself as you clench you thighs together to get some friction.
You try to convince yourself that it's normal to get like this in a life or death situation. There's been cases of people's brain getting so scared that it gets sexually stimulated. You pray that this is the case now because you're starting to think how pretty this man's moans is. He sounds breathy, needy, desperate. Like he hasn't gotten much action in a while, or at least not to this extent.
A self-defense mechanism, you try to tell yourself as your pussy begins to seep through your underwear.
Ghostface suddenly thrusts his hips into your face, his cock hitting your throat deep. You throat contracts around him, and the pressure has him pulsing. You think you might suffocate with how he just keep shoving his dick into your mouth without caring how you claw at his thighs. Then he moans, almost sings his groans as he shoots his cum down your throat.
If you thought you were suffocating then, you must be dying now. His hot cum chokes you and slightly trickles down your chin. Your wide eyes have now rolled to the back of your head, and your chest began burning from lack of oxygen. Perhaps this is how you go out, dead by dick.
Just before you can feel yourself lose consciousness, he pulls away. You gasp and cough for air, hands grabbing your throat. Ghostface takes a few steps back as if he was surprised by his own orgasm. You heave, lungs burning from the intake of fresh air. Before you have the chance to fully recover, he pulls you up by the back of you head and harshly throws you on the couch. You hate how your shirt begins to grow damp with your roommate's blood, but you try to persuade yourself that it's just sweat.
Ghostface is between your legs in a matter of seconds, lifting up your skirt to expose your underwear.
You're still trying to catch your breath as your hands aimlessly attempt to push him off. You hear him snicker, gripping your thighs tightly to pull them apart. He sighs dreamily, "You're so wet baby. I can't tell if you're that turned on from sucking my cock or if you're so scared you pissed yourself."
Shame overtakes you, and you fight even harder to push him away. He only laughs at your attempts, releasing you for just a second to wrap his hands around his throat. Your finger try to pry him off, but all he does it squeeze harder. You can feel your face turning read, the familiar sensation of suffocating returning.
"I thought you would have learned to be nicer to me by now," he tsks. "Be a good girl and let me fuck you. I would rather like to fuck this pussy warm and alive." You can't verbally answer him since he's crushing your windpipe, so you meekly nod. He released your throat just before your vision went fully dark.
His gloves hands trail over your body, cupping at your breasts before continuing on their way down. You're scared that moving would make you faint, so you stay still as he explores your body. You can feel the warmth of his hands through the latex. How strong his fingers are as they reopen your legs. He rubs a thumb on your clothed pussy, keeping on hand on your abdomen.
Then, he does something even he knows he shouldn't do; Takes off his mask. If you weren't so oxygen-deprived, you could probably see his clearly. All you can make out is his dark hair, thick eyebrows, full lips. His specific features are a little hazy, but you can see enough to know that despite your better judgment, he's not bad looking at all.
He throws the mask onto your face, blocking your vision. "Don't take it off," he commands. "Take that mask off and I'll rip your throat out with my hands." You nod as shivers run down your body, "I won't." Those are all the words he needs to heat before moving your under to the side. The sight of your aroused clit has his breath caught in his throat, he's never seen anything as beautiful.
"Oh baby," he practically moans. His fingers feel a little uncomfortable as he plays with your lower lips, but it's not painful. He smears your wetness all over your pussy and thighs. Ghostface is amazed at how much your pussy was drooling for him. Maybe you're sick too, just like him.
Your cunt feels cold when he withdraws his hand from you, and your body reactively chases his touch. You hate how you hear him chuckle at your actions. He takes his finger and shoves it into his mouth, curious about your taste. You can't see too clear, but from the way his eyebrows go up, he likes what he ate.
"I'd kill to eat your pussy," he compliments. "Don't have the time to though, maybe next time."
No prep, no lube, just this man precisely angling his cock to your soppy entrance. You're whimpering quietly, little sounds as if to say please don't when it only entices him more. He lets out a soft groan when his tip enters your soft walls. You try to close your legs, but now with two hands gripping the back of your thighs, you really don't have a choice.
He pushes in, and you use both your hand to cover your mouth. He has more length than girth, so it feels never ending as he slides in. It's slightly painful at first, but you find yourself feeling satisfying full. Your assaulter can't fit himself all the way since you're too tight, but it's enough for him to rock his hips.
There's no warm up to his strokes, and your thrown in forced pleasure all too quickly. The feeling of his sliding in and out, how he manages to get deeper and deeper each time, the bruising grip on your thighs. Now you're covering your mouth to suppress your moans rather than cries. Even though, he can still hear how you squeak and groan as he pounds into you.
He watches as your breasts bounce from underneath your shirt, the way your body completely shifts every time he thrusts into you. You can say you want him to stop all you want, but he can feel how inviting your pussy has gotten. Almost begging in to stay inside, to pump you full of his cum.
Now he meets you at the hilt, his pelvis slapping against your ass. It's getting hard to breath under his mesh mask, but you don't dare to take it off. You should be ashamed with how you look up at him, practically admiring his expressions and how he groans. From what you can see, his mouth is fallen open as he moans carelessly. Like he didn't just make you take his cock, like he didn't just kill your roommate without remorse.
The pain is completely gone, and you find yourself wondering how you could have been in pain to begin with. He's so good with his cock, like he knows where in your cunt you like it. His hands stay at your thighs, but you wish he could use his gloves fingers to rub your clit. You might've been gripping his by his broad shoulders if you weren't too busy quieting yourself.
Even without the stimulation on your lower lips, you can feel your stomach tightening. The warm orgasm slowly collecting in your abdomen. You let your legs fall open even more, eager for him to drive deeper into you. He accepts happily, laughing maniacally. "God fuck, I knew you were a fucking slut. Putting your nose in a book, acting like a good little girl when you're just as sick as me."
'W-What?" You can't stop from questioning him. Has he been watching you this whole time?
You don't think he's going to answer you with how hard he's driving his hips into you, but he does. "The library. You- ngh fuck!- rather be a fucking loser than party. That scared of me huh?" He cackles. "So scared that you take my fat cock." He stops talking for a few beats to focus on fucking you.
"Aw shit, I'm gonna cum inside you." A statement, not a request. His thrusts become sloppy, aggressive. You cam feel his tip in your throat with how deep he is, and you lose your composure. One of your hands whisk down to rub your aching clit. The movement startles him for a second, but then he smiles once he realizes.
You're despicable. You should feel huge amounts of disgrace as you finish on his cock, but you don't. Instead you feel bliss with your walls squeezing around him. The sudden pressure of your pussy makes him whimper, then cum right after. He's so warm, so lively that you forget that he's a serial killer.
He gives you a few more deep strokes to ride out his high, making you tremble. Your legs shake as he slowly pulls out, but his grip on your legs in firm. He watches as his and your cum oozes out, like blood from a gash. He moans at the sight, feeling his softening cock twitch.
You're breathing heavily under him, still whimpering from the aftershocks. The post nut has not hit yet, and you're tying to relish in his body warmth. If you close your eyes, you can imagine that he's just a hook up. You can tell yourself that you'll get Plan B after this, that you'll take a shower and go to sleep. And when you wake up in the morning, it'll be like nothing happened.
That's not true though, and your fantasy is quickly shut down when his hands wrap around your neck. You gasp at the feeling, your weak hands clawing at his wrists. You both know your fighting is in vain, he was going to kill you regardless of what you did. Tears spring your eyes as you come to terms with your fate. So much for graduating on time.
Maybe it's your tears that have an effect on time. Maybe it's the fact that your pussy is still dripping with him, but Ghostface is having a change of heart. He uses one hand to rip the mask off your face to look into your eyes. It's his favorite part when taking someone's life. Yours though, are not the same. Yes he can see the sadness, the pain, but he can see something he hasn't seen before: Acceptance.
With the mask off, you're able to see his face clearly. He looks like he's thinking with the gentle creases on his forehead. His nose is scrunches and his eyebrows furrowed, and you can't help but think he's..."Cute."
It's the last thing I.N hears you say before you pass out, face turning a purple color. He quickly releases his grip on you, pressing a finger under your chin to feel for a pulse. When he feels it, he sighs in relief. Killing you was on his list since he first saw you weeks ago at the library. You did party, he's seen you before. Yet, watching you turn into a hermit because of him was romantic. He loves having that much power over people, over you.
I.N knows better than to play with his food, but he might make an exception this time. After all, he does have a spare room waiting to be used.
a/n: this took a few days and I feel like I could have done better but here ya go, feeback is appreciated update: au part here!
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madelynraemunson · 2 months
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CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT 𓆩♡𓆪
(Book #1 of the Hellfire Gentlemen’s Club series)
strip club owner!eddie x fem!exotic dancer!hargrove!reader
𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 18+ MDNI
Chapter 018: Murphy's Law
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You’re only against a handful of things. Of course, the one time you go to bed angry, shit hits the fan.
↳ chapters: 001, 002*, 003** , 004**, 005 , 006 , 007* , 008**, 009, 010, 011, 012* , 013**, 014** , 015, 016**, 017, 018, 019, 020*
* = somewhat smutty chapters ** = smut chapters
author's note: 2/23/2024 — i don't want you guys to suffer too much, so the last two chapters will be released tomorrow 2/24/2024. i love you guys, thank you for tuning in ♥️
CW: i don't wanna spoil anything, so this whole chapter is a trigger warning. please be mindful of this before reading; ps thank you to @freckledjoes for letting me use this picture of barron/"steve"
word count: 1.3k words
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“I’m Natalia, who are you?”
“I’m...Shy Girl,” you narrow your eyes. “My boyfriend Eddie lives here.”
You've never been good at math. But it doesn't take putting 2 and 2 together to realize that — the car in Eddie's spot this morning — belongs to the Nancy look-alike in front of you.
And if you looked too fast, you would've thought that she WAS Nancy. But the strapless tube top, lettuce-trim booty shorts, and lacy black tights on a cold December morning rule out that possibility.
Your eyes trail over to Steve in the background, frantic and sweaty, hairy chest out on display as he shuffles around to find a shirt to throw on. You clear your throat, meeting Natalia’s blue eyes one more time before speaking again.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Oh no girl, you're fine!" the busty brunette chirps, when she realizes you're no longer a threat to her. "I was just heading out. I guess his roomie is going to be back any second now."
Doing your best to conceal your laughter, you step off to the side to allow Steve's booty call to get her things and scoot out the door. Steve watches awkwardly, leaning against the doorway and flashing Natalia a smile as he watches her get to her car safely.
You wait until she’s out of earshot to speak to him.
“Natalia.” you sing with a smirk. “Really?”
“Don’t make that face.”
“What face?”
“The one you’re making right now, Hargrove. Don’t start.”
Your eyes venture down to the faint bite marks on Steve’s neck. You turn around to look at the doppelgänger one last time, giving her a wave as she drives away.
“Not starting anything,” you insist. “I just think it’s funny.”
He knows what you’re thinking and it doesn’t help his case. Steve steps off to the side, inviting you in. After closing the door behind you, Harrington gestures towards the box in your hand.
“Whatchu got there?”
“Apology cupcakes for Eddie,” you explain. “I was a real bitch to him yesterday so I decided to bake him something to compensate.”
You spent all night guilt-baking, hoping to win Eddie back with the cute vanilla cupcakes topped with sad red frowns on them, followed by a homemade card that reads, "I'm sorry for pushing you against the wall". Expecting Steve to find it adorable, he offers you a rather confused reaction instead.
"…Eddie didn’t stay over last night?” he asks with a cocked brow.
Your heart sinks.
“No… I thought he came straight here after Wayne’s.”
“Well obviously he didn’t,” Steve says. “Hence why I had Nat spend the night.”
“Well do you think he’s at Dustin’s?”
“I’m not sure, I haven’t spoken to the guy since yesterday morning.”
Something's off. Immediately rushing to the living room, you set the cupcakes down so you can call Wayne. It rings a few times but Eddie's uncle doesn’t pick up.
"Wayne's not picking up."
“That’s odd,” Steve gulps. “He almost always does.”
So you go to message Eddie. It's a simple text, Where are you? Straight to the point. To your complete shock, your usual blue text bubbles turn green. Eddie's phone is off. What the hell?
So you go to call him next. It doesn't hurt to try. But then your knees start to buckle when you're immediately directed to an automated voicemail box.
“We’re sorry. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please try again later.”
The room is as frostbitten as the air outside. Steve senses abrupt energy shift.
You scroll nervously through your phone. The next person to contact is Dustin. Outside of his friendship with Steve, he is the next person closest to Eddie. But Curly doesn't pick up either.
"Oh god," you feel the color rushing from your face.
"Hargrove, i-it's okay," Steve attempts. "He's probably with Jeff or Gareth or Grant or somethin', o-okay? Let's not jump to conclusions."
He rests a warm hand atop your arm, grounding you back down to earth. You turn to him with worry. He rubs your back to comfort you.
"Eddie would never do anything to hurt himself on purpose," Steve assures you. "I can promise you that much. Don't let your mind go there."
"Okay," you exhale.
"But he is stupid though," Steve adds. "So, to be safe, we should probably check the hospital. Or urgent care. Dude probably cucked his ankle again."
And with that, you two set off to Hawkins Memorial on the other side of town.
The icy roads seem to draw on for miles as Steve drives. And you had no desire to explore the vastness of Roane County, for as long as Eddie isn’t there waiting for you at whatever coordinate the wind blows you to next.
Tapping your feet anxiously on the floor, you click your phone on and off again to see whether or not a message from Eddie pops up. It’s the same outcome every time.
Steve’s gentle hand rests on top of your trembling ones once again. He gives you a soft pat.
“It’ll all be okay, Shy Girl,” he says to you. “Promise.”
Thankfully, hospital parking is almost immediate. Booking it to the emergency department now, you and Steve rush to get to the front of the line to speak to the receptionist. When it's finally your turn, she greets you rather stoically.
“Can I help you?”
Without violating HIPAA?
“I sure hope so,” you sigh. “This is a wellness check. Do you guys maybe have a Munson admitted here?”
“Munson…” the last name marinates on the lady’s tongue almost as if she’s familiar with it. You wouldn’t doubt it. Wayne’s a frequent flyer due to the cancer and Hawkins is quite literally a speck of dust on the map.
You try to help her. “Maybe an Eddie…Edward… or quite possibly a Wayne…”
“Quite possibly a Wayne?” the lukewarm secretary echos you.
“Yes!” you hiss urgently. “Or maybe a John Doe? A guy in his late twenties, early thirties... This person most likely came in yesterday afternoon, night, or maybe even this morning. He has brown hai-"
“Shy Girl…” comes a voice behind you.
It’s one of the Munsons you’re looking for. But to your surprise, not the one you were expecting.
"Wayne..." you breathe.
In front of you is Eddie's uncle, sitting in his wheelchair evidently a bawling mess. If he’s here and Eddie’s not, it can only mean one thing.
Your throat tightens and you struggle to speak. A thin veil of tears gloss over your eyes, your fingertips essentially frozen now as the sterile white building closes up around you.
“Wayne…” you say again. “What happened?”
His uncle sniffs, drawing out uneven breaths as he tries to calm down, nose an irritable red to match his glassy, sleep-deprived eyes.
“There’s... been an accident,” he chokes. “They T-boned him. Van is totaled.”
That van. That stupid fucking van you’ve told Eddie time and time again to get rid of.
“Wayne," Steve interrogates. "Who drove you here?”
“The Henderson boy.”
You can't take it anymore.
“Where is he?!” you demand. “And why aren’t you with him, Wayne?! WHERE IS EDDIE?”
“Doctors won’t tell me nothin'!” Wayne blubbers, his voice cracking like a helpless child. “But as someone whose second home is the hospital, I know what that means.”
The three of you take this time to cry. You instantly collapse into Steve's arms. He embraces you tight, dragging you off to the side so the people who were waiting behind you could be helped next.
Nothing matters anymore, you think to yourself. This is what you get for going to bed angry. The one time. The one time. And as the three of you start to gather yourselves again — rather slowly — Wayne speaks once more... uttering a belief that you've already come to terms with. Something that you already know.
“It’s not looking good for Eddie.”
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oh yeah, song of the chapter is...
side note: s/o to DR. bridgit mendler, the irl barbie
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