#Batman: ok two exceptions no more | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nat-ter · 4 months

Text

ok. hear me out. batman and superman having petty rivalry. not bcus they actually hate each other but bcus there's a little misunderstanding going on between them.

the first time they met, superman wanted to impress the other hero (bcus yayy a new friend!) so he might have tried a bit too hard to look impressive to batman by putting on a more confident front than he generally feels.

batman has heard of the new hero in town (or the next one over wtv) and ofc there's this superhuman being who literally shoots laser out of his eyes not to mention the flying thing so in the most batman way possible, he's immediately cautious. and then comes this obnoxious alien to batman's own turf introducing himself as if he expects bruce to bow down to his feet and sing his praises just bcus he can, what, breathe ice? never! so begins the hostility. which took superman by surprise bcus here he comes, looking for partnership, maybe even friendship, but instead getting rude and obnoxious short replies in return.

first time superman is questioned his thoughts on the dark knight, he's honestly taken aback bcus since he hasn't had any contact with the other hero in the public's eye he didn't think ppl would ask him questions about gotham's bat. so, a bit flustered clark kent, in a very un-superman-like way, blurts out, "oh, that. i heard he's human." immediately after which he has to leave the scene bcus there was a tsunami somewhere. and so he unwittingly sets out the verbal war.

next time batman is questioned about his thoughts on superman, instead of leaving without any comment like he usually did, this time he stays and boy does he have something to say. or not, according to his words. but he did say smth and that highly contradicts his own words. "i have nothing to say about a twat in a primary colour who doesn't even know where undergarments go." and so officially begins the war.

clark hates batman bcus he thinks the man is a xenophobe (except he has seen batman interacting with other superbeings just fine and some of them may be meta but still it stings that he's the only one being treated with such hostility). bruce hates superman bcus he thinks the alien is looking down on him for being human with its shortcomings and hey this is a touchy subject for him okay back off. but neither of them actually never make any contact apart from trashing each other to the press whenever they can.

at first it was only pointed remarks that portrayed their distrust for each other like:

"at the end of the day what is batman but a furry with anger issues finding an outlet in the dark?"

"next time, maybe superman should use his ego to topple one of metropolis' finest buildings instead of himself. surely that will get the job done quicker."

but the longer it goes on, the more the two heroes enjoy themselves. and eventually the remarks grows more petty and childish and nothing like what two grown men who fight crimes should even say about each other.

"batman is probably hideous, maybe that's why he wears a mask that only shows the more attractive part of his face."

"who is to say there isn't ugly tentacle-like creatures hiding behind that pristine, god-like face."

unfortunately the longer the war wages, the more it sounds like the two of them are merely flirting in a backhanded way. which drives alfred and martha up the walls. alfred swears that he will leave the manor and maybe become a vegabond if he has to witness master bruce making a fool out of himself by pulling the proverbial ponytail in the playground any longer. martha is mad that her son has supposedly forget all the manners she had painstakingly grilled into him (she demands that clark immediately make peace with the bat but clark is so busy he doesn't even have time to visit his own ma lately and no it's not bcus he's afraid of the disappointed face™ nope. never).

it went from:

"i hardly think batman believes he's above the law, no, rather he believes that he is the law." (which is simply wrong, in bruce's opinion. no, he likes to think that he's operating outside of the law while perfectly abiding to it. alfred finds it dubious but it isn't like bruce will listen to him anyway)

and,

"just because superman can fly, he thinks he's above us. i hardly think any god would run at the sight of a green rock." (which is also wrong, in clark's opinion. he has never run from a fight even when kryptonite is present. lois can seconded it even though she wishes he does run as fast as he can)

to:

"maybe batman should smile more, that'll make him much more attra— i mean, approachable. which, i understand, will dispel the whole dark and broody and bat-themed performance he's got going on, of course, but im just saying, you know, the guy's got a pretty nice chin and—" ("clark!" hissed lois who's hiding among the people superman has just rescued from a burning building, only for superman's ears and shutting the man right up)

and,

"people only trust superman because he's so stupidly handsome." ("wow, B, didn't expect batman to come out like that," sarcastically comments nightwing in batman's comm. batman growls)

it's driving everyone insane. alfred is ready to take a very long, a very well earned vacation, lois wants his best friend to get laid, martha is working up a rant and the two heroes can't seem to figure out their stance on the idea of one another.

#superbat #fic idea #i guess?#your honour #they're idiots #so many ways this could end #istg #im dying #superbat fic ideas

192 notes · View notes

theodorecanaryhood · 2 months

Text

Summer Days

Jason Todd x Male Reader

Warning: romance and some language

New years was always the vibe for romance, most people liked the idea of having someone with them for the big event of midnight.

Cold and wet mostly due to it being Gotham City, however, it was worth it as the two of you strolled through the square. Hand in hand and no care in the world.

Jason was in his world when with you, he didn’t care about anything but you.

‘Gonna kiss in the square at midnight dollface?’ Jason smiled as you nodded.

Not a big fan of PDA, Jason made an exception for when the two of you were celebrating something. New year was of course the biggest one.

Midnight chimed quickly as Jason dipped you and gave you a big kiss, a small smile on his face. His lips were heaven, and yours were Jason’s favourite place to escape.

‘I love you so much’ Jason said after breaking the kiss, you smiled and held onto Jason’s face.

‘I love you too’

Before you could even register anything, time had gone so fast that all of a sudden it’s hot outside. You were stuck wearing minimal clothing, heat on your skin with small beads of sweat every so often.

You and Jason had planned to get a weekend getaway, a weekend of the two of you. No patrols, no distractions…nothing.

The long drive in Jason’s vintage car, a blessing given by Bruce for his 21st birthday. The day he met you, being friends with Tim.

A few years younger, Jason seemed smitten and captivated by you. He wanted to try and get you alone.

A family getaway was in need as Batman was taking a break, Bruce urged Tim to bring you along, his friend.

You spent some time with Dick to which Jason didn’t like much, you were friendly towards the eldest son. Jason got jealous but not too much, he held his own and played patiently.

Jason stole his moment to catch his crushes attention, the two of you had a walk by the water alone one morning, Jason taking the chance to get to know you better, steal your heart.

Successful of course, as the two of you stood here together. Jason giving you a sweet kiss as the two of you got into his car.

A drive through the city and then on the highway, skies turning pink from the sun going dim in the sky.

Jason held your hand in his, giving it a sweet kiss as he hit the speeds of the highway roads, loving the touch of his boyfriend’s skin. Jason felt like he was in heaven…again.

The Sun captured the scene complimentary, sun shining off the surfaces, bouncing off the sand. Jason’s skin glowed in the light. Jason’s eyes glowed with the rays, yours being captured by his.

Jason stood on the edge of the path as you snapped a shot of him, being so in love with his form. Every inch of it.

‘Call him Ed Sheeran, he in love with my body’ Jason rapped jokingly as you laughed, giving you a sweet kiss.

‘Ok Doja Cat’ you smiled, taking your shoes and socks off as you tossed them in the car, along with Jason’s.

The two of you took a slow walk along the sandy beach, hand in hand. Jason hummed quietly as he felt the warmth of the air.

Your casual summer wear helping ease the heat from your bodies.

Jason loved wearing shorts now as you helped him embrace his body more, loving him regardless if he had scars or not.

Jason lifted you on his back as he gave you a piggy back along the sand, you smiling as the two of you started singing at the top of your lungs.

‘Rain on me, Rain on me’ you both sang, out of key of course but you didn’t care.

The two of you were like two teenagers in love in a short escape from your parents, it was bliss. Being young at heart and the both of you being able to embrace the craziness you had.

‘Wrestle’ Jason called out as he flipped you off his back, onto the sand.

Laying on top of you as he fluttered your face with sweet kisses. You laughed as Jason teased you with his lips.

‘Shit you’re so cute’ you blushed as Jason smiled ear to ear, kissing you deep in the lips.

‘I love fucking you, I mean I fucking love you’ Jason stuttered purposely to make you laugh again.

A laugh that Jason could listen to all the time, a laugh and a smile that made Jason forget all the bad times he had before.

A perfect end to a weekend, Jason took you both to the nearby carnival.

You waited in a surprisingly short line to get into the ferris wheel. Jason holding you close the whole time.

Getting to the top and feeling the summer night air, it was a release as the days were hot and humid. Jason was still a little sweaty but he didn’t care so much.

The two of you kept greeting each others lips until it was time to go to sleep. Once you were allowed to after Jason wanted your bodies to collide in bed.

The drive home was always a shorter journey, which is always the way. For some reason.

Jason opted to be the passenger princess as you drove the two of you home, Jason falling asleep a little in the passenger seat, with a slight snore.

Once you were home, it was a nice time to relax and enjoy each other’s company, as the two of you settled on the couch.

#red hood #gotham #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd #jason todd x male reader #red hood x male reader

84 notes · View notes

im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 2 years

Text

Hey, who wants a really dark and morbid prompt filled with angst? Well buckle up or scroll away cause I'm about to hit yall with a hammer. You have been warned.

----------------

Danny had slowly come to hate his human side. Well, humanity in general usually left a poor taste in his mouth, so as the weeks passed and the end of his sophomore year inched closer he made a decision. He was going to live his afterlife in the ghost zone. Probably go so far as to fake his death.

Things go south when his bio-dad showed up and he would have been stoked to learn his bio-dad was Batman if it wasn't for his insistence on "fixing" him. He wanted to be less human not more. Geez.

Turns out his bio-mom was that one lady with the long dark hair and green eyes that would smile at him from the shadows while he was patrolling as Phantom. He liked her. Sometimes she waved at him. He liked her a little less for siccing Batman on him. She had called him in out of worry for thier "son"

As it turns out, the reason she did that was because the source of his power (he pointed out it was called a core) was absorbing too much power too quickly and was at risk of overheating and having a meltdown, something akin to a nuclear reactor. He didn't like where this was going. Frostbite had said everything was fine at his last check-up, but no one was listening to him (another thing he hated about being human. As a ghost he was respected, or at least listened to) "So, what? I'm going on vacation?"

The "adults" looked at eachother. "Something like that." Nightwing gave a reassuring smile that only seemed to unnerve Danny more. They were hiding something and Danny had a bad feeling that it was going to end up making him miserable in some way.

He made sure that his friends and sister (meeting his bio parents changed nothing. She would always be the best big sister he would ever have. The only big sister!) knew where he was going and for how long and to raise holy hell if he wasn't back on time. After that we went willingly with Batman onto the batjet.

This turned out to be a mistake as he woke up nearly two months later completely human. Well, ok. Not quite. His eyes still glowed green whenever he was angry or distressed, like now. But his core and all his powers were gone.

Batman had stolen his powers from him. He had stolen Phantom from him. Everything he ever worked for. All the treaties he had made and signed in preparation for his coronation to the Ghost Zones throne, all the grueling training Pandora and the others gave him to controlling his powers, every flunked class and detention from having to run out and deal with a ghost, his shattered dreams of being an astronaut, everything he had done and sacrificed since the accident now meant nothing.

All because of some rich megalomaniac billionaire wanting to control him. Figures. He had the audacity to act suprised when he blew up at him. His powers where such a huge part of him. It was one of the few parts of himself that he actually liked. And Bruce had the nerve to give him the "superpowers aren't everything" speech. How condescending could someone be?!

The insinuation that he could be one of his flightless birds (oh God he would never fly through the nights sky again would he?!) and should be greatful about it was frankly insulting.

So he did what he did best. Escape. Except they caught him. Every. Single. Time. Was this a mansion or a prison? Honestly he wasn't sure anymore. Where was Jazz and his friends?

He cursed aloud when he realized they didn't have any way of tracking him without him being a ghost. He really was on his own with his kidnappers huh. And they were trying really hard to inflict some Stockholm syndrome, but didn't like it when he made the insinuation out loud.

They tried everything in thier power to keep him there "until you're better" and he couldn't tell you how many times they've busted down the door to reach him before it was "too late". Many locks throughout mansion were removed because of this. Too bad for them there was a lot of ways a normal human could "Go Ghost". It was a reoccurring joke that was slowly driving Bruce insane. Good. Suffer.

He really wished Nightwing would stop coming into his room at night to hug him though. The hugs were long and uncomfortable and he kept trying to talk to him. Weird. He acted like death was something to fear.

Too bad he wasn't going to make it easy for them. He had managed to slip away from the purple girl long enough to set two of the libraries on fire (a fact the estranged Wayne child was later furious about when he found out) and make a run for it. He actually managed to steal the batmobile and get a few miles out of the city before he was caught and recaptured. Danny never gave up though. He always found a new way to raise hell and escape.

He was going to become a ghost again.

One way or another.

#fanfiction prompts #prompts #dp x dc #danny fenton #danny phantom #batman #tw: depression #tw: suicide #tw: implied suicide attempts #dark #suicide #implied suicide attempts #he plans to raise from the grave #so silver lining i guess #angst #this is much darker than usual and i even cut out a lot of things so it wouldnt be nearly as dark as it started as #please dont @ me if you dont like it

902 notes · View notes

impyssadobsessions · 2 years

Text

Some fake kiddos for Jazz pairings. Jason and Jazz's daughter would be spoiled and lazy XD with a rebellious streak. Only thing u can really get her to do, without trying to pawn it on someone else, is to figure out how NOT to do something. Also Jaylyn pretends Batman's her favorite hero, one to butter up grandpa B and two to tick her dad off. She's a handful but sometimes that makes life exciting... as if Jazz and Jason need more XD. Her fave hero is her dad though, she only SOMETIMES let him know. Can't be too sappy though, what's fun in that....? (Totally a daddy's girl though) Her and Jazz argue as she aged. Rebellious stages are like that though. but Lynn does come to her mom first ... ok lie she goes to her uncles and then her mom when shit goes down. Except girl talk then its mommy. More so to avoid being lectured. Danny relates. (Also named her jaylyn to keep a theme (Ja theme plus cute to be name similar to dad).. but she goes by Lyn or Lynni spelled with an i to match Dani.)

Now Jazz and Dick's daughter @aryaokayfriend helped find a name, her's Marigold. She's cheerful and chatty, and naive. She very sweet and energetic. Loves to give Jazz a heart attack because she's a natural born flyer... without wings. Dick is proud of his little acrobat. She loves animals and to draw, Damian being her favorite uncle. The only one that can keep her from bouncing off the walls. She would be the type to befriend a random rogue after getting lost and then help them find their way... as if she was never lost to begin with. Everyone has to keep a heavy watch on this one.

#dp x dc #jazz fenton #pairings #love child #jason todd #dick grayson #anger management #nightbird #jaylynn todd #fan oc #marigold grayson #crossover #dc crossover #batfam crossover #impyelam #my art #danny phantom #damian wayne

889 notes · View notes

darthpastry · 8 months

Text

Incorrect Quotes of the Kingdom Pt. 2

Link: I'm never donating blood again. The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean... do you want it or not?

——————

Revali: Any idiot would know that.

Link: I knew that!

Revali: See?

——————

Revali: Could you be any more annoying?

Link: Definitely.

——————

Purah: Ew, what kind of tea is this?

Link *sipping tea cup with pinky in the air*: I boiled Gatorade.

——————

Link: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

——————

Tulin: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Riju: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

——————

Zelda: What are you two arguing about this time?

Purah: They're always using common phrases incorrectly!

Link: Cry me a table.

——————

Link: Fight me!

Ganondorf: Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?

*Later*

Ghost Sonia: Why is Ganondorf crying?

Ghost Rauru: Link kicked them really hard in the ankle.

——————

Zelda: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six.

Link *coming back from the store with six cartons of milk*: They had avacados!

——————

Link: Rauru, I screwed up big time.

Rauru: Link, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

——————

Link: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

The sages: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

——————

Sonia: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

——————

Purah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Link: ... I was hungry.

——————

Sonia: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Link...

Rauru: As you should be.

Sonia: No, for real. They're kind of-

Rauru: As. You. Should. Be.

——————

Ganondorf: Life is like Link. It's short.

——————

Link: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Yunobo: I think you mean cards.

Tulin: He did not.

Link *pulling out knives*: I did not.

——————

Link: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.

——————

Link: Like they say, "If you can't beat them, curl up in a ball and protect your organs."

——————

Purah: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Tulin: The final boss.

Riju: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Link: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

——————

Link: Yum, thanks!

Ganondorf *puts more tape over Link's mouth*: I said, stop eating it.

——————

Purah: Didn't you die?!

Link: That was weeks ago. Things change.

——————

Purah: Wake me up...

Tulin: Before ya go go

Zelda: When September ends

Link: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

——————

Sidon: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Link: That would suck because you can't microwave metal.

Riju: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

——————

Ganondorf: I've been expecting you, Link.

Link: How did you do that without turning around?

Ganondorf: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

86 notes · View notes

igotanidea · 1 year

Text

Benched : Jason todd x cheshire!reader

Another story from Cheshire!verse. The others are Cheshire cat, That damn gala and Five years later and Tired.

Summary: Y/N (vigilante name: cheshire) was benched by Bruce because of her strange behaviour. One night all the feelings found a way out and there was only one person who could calm her down.

Warnings: cussing, mentions of anxiety and panic attack, reader is locked in a room at some point, Jason and Bruce dynamics are a warning of itself

“What is wrong with you?” Bruce’s voice was stern and emotionless when he led all the batboys and Y/N to the batcave after a mission.

“Nothing.” She muttered incoherently hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with The Batman himself. She…. Had made some mistakes during a patrol and if it wasn’t for Dick’s reflex and Tim’s quick thinking it could have ended really bad.

“Are you trying to kill us? You’ve been erratic, chaotic and fidgeting for way to long.”

“Hey! Don’t you dare lashing on her!” Jason was always ready to stand up to his beloved Y/N. And now, as he saw her clenching her fists and narrowing eyes he knew she was barely holding. Normally she was strong and resilient, but – as much as Jason hated to admit it – Bruce was right. Something wrong has been happening to her for a while now. However, this was not a reason to attack her verbally.

“Stay out of this Jason.”

“The hell I will.”

“Jace. Come on, it’s ok. Just calm down. Bruce… has a point here.” She squeezed his arm trying to reassure him

“Y/N. He has no right….” He hissed through clenched teeth

“How about we all just take a breather, hm? Look everyone, we are back, safe and it’s all good, right?”

“Shut up, Dick!”

“Look who’s lashing on who now.”

“What do I have to do to have five minutes of peace here?” Tim rolled his eyes and sighed deeply “will there ever be any time when you two are in the same room without fighting?”

“SHUT UP TIM!” both Dick and Jason shouted but Red Robin just shrugged and turned towards Y/N.

“Want to get out of here?”

“I want nothing more than that.”

“You are not going anywhere.” Before either of them could move, Bruce was in the way, blocking way out of the cave.

“Come on, Bruce. We are all tired and stressed and overworked….” Tim tried to bargain

“And that’s coming from a workaholic. “

“DAMIAN! Who’s side are you on?!”

“Mine. The only right one. I am the only rational one here.”

“You are an asshole, that is what you are!”

Before anyone realized it, everyone (except Bruce of course) was shouting at each other to the point where all words became blurry and it was hard to differentiate who was offending who. It obviously started as a little banter between Dick and Jason and took off pretty quickly.

“What are those noises?”

“Oh, thank God you’re here Alfred. You’re like the only one who can make them calm down.”

“What about…..?” Bruce started but was quickly interrupted

“I’m sorry, Master Wayne, but it seems like you have no word in this discussion. And I am not going to be the one to conciliate them. Again.”

“But….” Bruce looked helpless

“Miss Y/N, you look pale. Would you mind joining me for a cup of tea upstairs.”

“I would love to accompany you, Alfred. You’re the best company a girl could ask for.”

“This is enough!”

“Wait, did Bruce just raised his voice?” all of a sudden all the batboys went as quiet as the mouse.

“Father?” for the first time in his short life, Damian was confused beyond recognition and Y/N wished she had a phone to snap a picture

“Well, that’s just made my day. We finally pushed The Batman over the edge” Jason let out a laugh quickly moving to stand next to his girl and grabbed her hand.

“I’m out. Screw you all. I’m going to bed. Are there any cookies left Alfred”

“I saved a few for miss….”

“I’ll be sure to take good care of them.”

“I hate you, demon.” The girl hissed. She was really hoping for a midnight snack.

“Yeah, right. Get in line.”

“Leave us.” Once again Bruce was back to his cold, unemotional self.

“You mean you and Dickhead? Sure, be my guest” Jason’s hold on Y/N hand grew tighter as he tried to drag her away.

“Me and Y/N.” Bruce hissed

“Over my dead body!”

“That can be arranged.”

“You would break your no-killing policy for me? Woah. I’m flattered.” Jason scoffed ironically

“You’re insufferable.” Bruce stated

“Well, you’re die-hard.” Jason retorted

“You never listen!” Bat was starting to lose his patience

“You only listen to yourself!” Jay shouted

“ You’re stubborn like a mule.”

“You don’t care about anything!”

“I tried my best to raise you!”

“Well, I tried my best to live up to your expectations!”

With Damian and Tim gone, Y/N, Dick and Alfred were just left standing in the cave their eyes switching between Bruce and Jason fighting silhouettes like it was some sort of twisted tennis game.

“Can someone please…..?” Y/N started

“I hate you!” Jason yelled, his face almost as red as his helmet

“You finally admitted that!”

“You never cared about me! About any of us for what I know!”

“This is not true!”

“It is the only truth!”

“I always tried to protect all of you.”

“Ok, that is enough.” Dick knew exactly what was going to happen if they did not stop them “Y/N, a hand there?”

“Sure. As long as you’ll deal with Bruce.”

“Take your aim, Cheshire.”

“I hate when I have to do this.”

“I know. But desperate times…..”

“Blah, blah, blah. More action less talking Nightwing.”

“What? I’m chatty. It’s part of my charm”

The girl just rolled her eyes and taking the stance, without an ounce of hesitation jumped right at her boyfriend tackling him to the ground.

“Have you been working out, Jay?” she raised an eyebrow. It was either this or she was getting weaker. It was much easier to ground him last time when he threw a temper tantrum in the cave. Which was last week.

“Maybe. You like my muscles Y/N. It’s ok to admit it.”

“Shut up.” She went red in an instance but much to her relief he was much calmer now, that she captured all of his attention. In the meantime Dick managed to calm down Bruce and everything was going to a good conclusion. All of them, one by one started to leave the cave but before Y/N disappeared Bruce grunted suggestively.

“Ok, all right! Fine! You got what you wanted, they are out. Now, what did you want to talk about.”

“You know, after all this time, you still know how to play both sides and twist people’s mind for your own benefit.”

“That’s not me. That is Cheshire. We are not exactly the same. Just like Bruce and Batman. I wonder what your investors would say if they found the elegant Mr Wayne beating up criminals in some dark and dirty Gotham alley….” She smirked trying to imagine Wayne Enterprises clients’ faces.

“Hide your claws. Now. What is going on with you?”

“Since when are you concerned?”

“Since you put lives of team in danger. Yours included.”

“It was not that bad.” She muttered looking down. It was. And she knew it. And he knew she knew. And she knew he knew she knew ….. Or whatever. Mind games was hard at times.

“Y/N” he sighed deeply. She was the first girl to become his sidekick. The first … daughter of some sort, even if he never truly adopted her. But, even if he did not like it, given their history together he had a soft spot for her. Deep, deep, deeeeeep inside, but still.

“What?” she spat on the edge of desperation

“Do you need help?”

“Help? No. No!” her face twisted involuntarily “why would I need help?”

“You’re obviously going through something.”

“Look who’s talking. That’s hypocritical, even for you Bruce.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“Why do you sound like…..?”

“You’re benched.”

“WHAT?!”

***

He benched her. Holy shit! She was like the only almost stable in the team and now she was on forced leave. For an indefinite period of time. Screw Bruce! In his own words, he was going to let her in again the moment she get herself back together. As if she wasn’t holding herself together!

While the boys were out, jumping on the roofs, chasing villains and getting their lives in trouble she was fuming in the manor walking from one corner of the room to another. Of course, for the last week, she was doing her best to disobey Bruce’s order. She was sneaking out the window the second they left, following suit, using the most of her flexibility skills to squeeze unnoticed, but it was for nothing. The first night, Bruce used some new technology (ironically, it was the tech SHE invented) to transport her back home, the machine claws (another irony) clenched over her body as she was flied to the manor. It was humiliating. The second time, she used the stun gun to knock her unconscious (Jason was ready to kill him for that, but luckily Dick and Damian managed to stop him). Third time she installed some crazy magnets to stop her in her tracks and when the team came back found her plastered to the wall, her hands dangling limply mid-air.

“GET. ME. THE FUCK. DOWN!” she struggled against her containment and Bruce just pressed some button cutting her lose. Luckily, before she hit the ground, Jason jumped forward and wrapped his strong arms around her, saving her from any damage.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” he yelled, gently putting the girl down with the kiss on the top of the head and turning into a monster throwing himself at Bruce.

“Will it ever stop?” Tim whined without any hope for the future.

The fourth, fifth and sixth time was no better. No matter how strong and stubborn and resilient she was, she finally gave up. After tenth time. When Batman dragged her and locked her in the manor’s safe room. Up till now, she never knew they had one.

“FUCK YOU BRUCE!” she screaming pretty sure this place was wired and he heard her shouts in his comm right in his ear. Hopefully this will make him go deaf.”

“That’s my girl! Go louder, baby.” Jason laughed thought the communicator. So she was right, it was wired.

“Nah, it’s a waste of my throat.” She was slowly losing her voice “as for you Red, try not to get killed again, can you handle that?”

“Dunno. Guess you gotta wait and see, sweatheart”

“I hate you.”

“I love you, baby.”

“Ugh. Can you two just stop!” Damian yelled “I’m getting sick. Of you!”

“Nah. I think we can torture you a little more, demon. Auch! Dick, get the fuck off me!”

Y/N sighed deeply and shook her head. They were never going to change. And despite everything it was the reason why she loved all of them so much. Her reverie was interrupted when she heard the sound of key twisted in the lock.

“Miss Y/N? Is everything all right? I heard you scream and ….”

“I’m fine Alfred, thank you. Would you mind if I come up? Or would that be the violation of the rules?”

“Master Wayne can be excessive, we all know that. I’ve just made tea.” He motioned for her to come with him. Thank god for Alfred.

***

It was 3 a.m. and they weren’t back yet. That was weird. Normally a patrol did not take this long. For the last two hours Y/N was trying her best to fall asleep but instead found herself tossing and turning in the sheets missing Jason’s embrace and his warmth. Even the chamomile tea Alfred made for her did not help. She groaned in frustration feeling her heartbeat fastening. All of a sudden her head got flooded with the thought she has been forcing out of her system for the last two weeks. Bruce was right from the beginning. She was erratic and scatterbrained. She was distracted and nervous. He knew. He knew from the very beginning, even before her. Funny, since it was her organism who was sending warning signals she was purposefully ignoring. Until now. She felt like she was suffocating, her hands shaking, her head spinning and breathing was becoming a problem.

“What…. the hell?” she stumbled out of bed. Once again, it was 3 a.m. and suddenly she felt the rush of energy in her veins and needed something, anything to do before going completely crazy. So she got up and quickly walked to the kitchen hoping there were some dirty dishes or anything to clean up and keep herself busy. Unfortunately, Alfred made sure everything was cleaned before he went to bed. Damn! What’s your next great idea, Y//N? she though. Books, library! Great! That would keep her occupied.

Boys came back an hour later, exhausted, all of them just dreaming about going to bed. Jason in particular. He needed Y/N. He needed her next to him. When he did not find her in bed he freaked out. Like never before and raised an alarm like never before. Was she taken? Was she attacked? Was she hurt, injured, held captive or in pain? He was already reaching for his gun when Tim stopped him from rushing out the manor in his rage. He found her in the library, sitting on the floor, tomes and tomes splattered all over the floor while she was pacing nervously all over the place.

“Y/N.” Jason’s eyes opened wide at her flustered state “what are you doing?”

“Tidying up.” She smiled nervously and giggled. She giggled! Now Jason knew something was terribly, terribly wrong “I couldn’t sleep and though why not. I mean, I could have chosen to do some workout instead but figured that cleaning would be more useful. Or… maybe I should have cleaned up the bedroom instead. I mean, it’s been a while since I did. And the bathroom. Or perhaps I should have worked on that new IT software for Wayne Enterprises, I am way past deadline and HR is going to kill me if…..”

Jason took one stride into her and grabbed her shaking hands.

“Y/N. Please, please, calm down. What is happening?” her eyes were all over the place, everywhere but on him “Hey, you’re scaring me. Look at me.” His voice got a bit more commanding tone than intended but it worked as her terrified gaze fixed on him.

“Breathe with me” he spoke calmly pulling her to sit down on the floor, pushing some books away to make place for them “All right. Just…. breathe. In and out. That is good.” He gave her a couple minutes to regulate her hitched breath before speaking again “What happened?”

“I…. I don’t know.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“For like two weeks…..”

“TWO WEEKS!” he yelled and he jumped “Sorry. Why didn’t you tell me? Or anyone? But mostly me?”

“It wasn’t that bad….”

“Mhm, sure. That’s what I said after resurrecting. It wasn’t that bad. And everyone knew I was lying.”

“Jace.”

“Hm?”

“You never said that. If anything, you were always underlying you were through hell. And no one denied that.”

“Exactly, Y/N. I’ve been through hell. And that is why I know precisely how a person going through it look like.”

“How? How does such person look like?”

“Like you at this moment. Was it a panic attack? Anxiety?” he cupped her cheek tracing her cheek. “Tell me.”

“You are giving me anxiety right now asking so many question.”

“Sorry baby. Do you need a hug?”

“Yes, please.” She nodded weakly and he just wrapped his arms around her pulling her into the comfort of his embrace.

“Whatever caused this, whoever caused this” he groaned “you are safe now. Everything is fine. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

“What about you?” she muttered against his chest

“Me?” that was surprising “what about me?”

“Will you make sure no one hurts you, again. Or will you just be your reckless self?”

“Wait. Is that the reason…..?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. “ she sighed deeply “Partially. I guess I just had too much on my plate. Dealing with work and vigilantism and my restless brain seeing all the possibilities and missed opportunities. I guess my mind just decided to remind me all the mistakes and traumas from the last ten years.”

“No surprise you broke. Bruce gave a hell lot of traumas to all of us. But hey, on the bright side, you survived all of them.”

“Since when are you optimistic?”

“Ugh, your right. It so out of character. I should cut on my time with Dick, his attitude is rubbing off on me.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him that. He won’t let you live through it” she laughed “hey, let go of me” she winced when Jason started to tickle her.

“Better?”

“I think so. But you know what” she ruffled his hair playfully “I like it when you smile. I missed that happy face.”

“Are you trying to tell me something babe?” he leaned toward her clearly going in for a kiss

“Nope.” She put a finger on his lips “I’m not going to wipe it off your face.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow “you’re gonna make me work for it?”

“You know me all too well.”

“Fine.” He sighed “I’ll give you 5 seconds of head start. Start running kitty. Because when I catch you, I’m not letting you out easily.”

“5 seconds?? Jason Peter Todd!”

“One…..”

“I hate you.” she turned around and rushed out of the library, avoiding all the books left on the floor in her anxiety haze.

“Five.” Was he cheating? Yes, definitely. But the game was on and he could not stop thinking about catching her and just having her all to himself.

166 notes · View notes

rubykgrant · 3 months

Note

Imagine RvB characters with superpowers. But just one each, like in RWBY or My Hero Academia. Could totally see Sarge being an unstoppable force, or Tucker being the center of attention, or Caboose being able to make things not work properly. Church splitting off parts of his psyche as clones. Maine having permanent copies of powers. Wash making a memory fog. Kimball having a speed buff for herself & others. Jax making videos of his memory. Just so many possibilities!

There are a handful of RVB Super Power AUs out there that are all very interesting (the two I'm more familiar with are the "Villain AU" by @smilysstuff , and "We Didn't Even Kiss Until Issue 26" by @cinaed . I've also seen some cool Spider-Man/Spider-Verse concepts from @leonardalphachurch and @donut-entendre ~)

You've got some cool super power ideas for them too! The characters are all so weird, it is easy to take the various talents or certain personality traits and turn them into super abilities, either ones that fit easily with them, or perhaps ones that seem like the "opposite" of what is typical.

If I was going to put them into a Super Hero setting, but maybe try to make it a little different from some of the others I've seen... I might put them in a Batman scenario! Except it doesn't totally follow the same formula... because NONE of these dudes are a billionaire playboy who is also a scientist and expert martial artist. So instead...

"Blood Gulch" is actually the name for a small area of the city (basically, Crime Alley), and through some random (or perhaps connected) events, a lot of people have had an unpleasant experience there... Church woke up with no memory besides his name and a few vague bits of info of his life. Tucker was attacked, and his child was kid-napped. Caboose lost his penny (everybody thinks this is stupid, but you don't understand; it was the GIANT penny!). Donut got nailed with a grenade. Grif got ran-over by a tank (followed by Simmons agreeing to give up some organs to try and save his life at a hospital, but when doctors insisted Grif wouldn't survive the surgery, Simmons followed a very shady tip that somebody from that area could help them both... and so Simmons got a back-alley operation, then woke up a Cyborg. Grif is OK). Sarge got shot in the head. Tex "died" for the first time, and discovered she doesn't STAY dead. A strange villainous voice seems to "haunt" the area, but is only ever heard when Doc is around. Nothing bad happened to Kai, but she got busted for throwing a rave in an old warehouse there once.

Not all of this happened on the same day or anything, but it sure is a COINCIDENCE that all these people hurt somehow in this general area, isn't it!? Anyway, Church meets Tucker after Junior got kidnapped, and despite seeming so unfriendly, he's the only guy that listens to Tucker's weird story (because the group that took Junior didn't seem... human). The cops won't help, and Tucker doesn't want to leave the city unless he has a lead, so... Church takes him to where he's been crashing.

Which turns out to be a HUGE mansion, that has sat abandoned for years. Church may be a hobo, but he's a hobo with standards (also, he seems to know all the combinations for the locks. wonder why). Eventually, they run into Caboose out on the streets, sobbing over his penny. He follows them around all night, and Church finally agrees to let him com back to their mansion. Once inside, Caboose's clumsiness and nonsensical luck allows them to discover SECRET PASSAGEWAYS! There is a whole underground lair below the mansion! With some very interesting (and suspicious) technology. Oh, and it seems to be OCCUPIED as well?

So, while all that was going on, Sarge has been running around Blood Gulch at night, being a weird vigilante about it (he still has his own shotgun, but after it got damaged, the thing doesn't actually fire anymore. instead, he carries it around for the AESTHETIC, and a lot of people in the city start rumors about a guy who has a gun he doesn't shoot for some "metaphorical" reasons, but it really isn't that deep; it broke, he doesn't want to throw it away, he can't afford to get it fixed, and he's too stubborn to just get a new one. on the plus side, various bad guys have gotten the idea that if they don't use guns, the vigilante won't shoot them, so everybody has gotten less lethal in general). Sarge also collects weirdos who have gone through their own odd incidents...

He likes the idea of having a cyborg on his team, and Grif seems to be good at... not dying? That comes in handy. Donut just kinda invited himself and stuck around. Sarge finds an abandoned robot one night, so now they have a robot! His speech functions are stuck on Spanish, but Lopez is very capable at just about any task (he will still complain the whole time). Sarge decides to call their group... The Red Hood Gang! He still wears the red hoodie he had on when he got shot when doing vigilante stuff (plus a mask, and other gear). They move into what they THOUGHT was an old cave system outside the city... and find it has LOTS of interesting tech inside!

When Church's group finds out the Reds are basically living in their basement and hoarding all the cool junk, and the Reds realize these guys have an upstairs with actual bathrooms and a kitchen, they proceed to have a whole war over who gets to keep everything. As they fight and claim certain things for themselves, one of the big computers comes online... and a strange, high-pitched voice who introduces himself as Vic starts giving them info and "advice" on how to find the people that have caused their problems. Begrudgingly, the two groups decide to work together (Church's team calls themselves Blue Birds, since the gear they get is blue, and themed after birds; also, they get a cool vehicle! Sheila is their Batmobile~).

So, now the Reds and Blues are all doing vigilante stuff. They still bicker with each other, but no longer enemies. Other people in the city do not know how to deal with these chaotic weirdos. They eventually meet up with Tex, and Grif's sister figures out what her brother is up to. Doc has a brief time being "kid-napped" by the :evil voice" as O'Malley tries to be a full-on villain like the Joker, but eventually he settles down, accepts that he's really part of Doc, and they other accept Doc is part of their group too. Tucker even gets Junior back, and Caboose finds his GIANT PENNY! Things seem to being well... but THEN-

A corrupt police force doesn't like all these vigilantes exposing their own criminal activity, and hire outside help of a special agent; Washington. He initially tries to very seriously solve some of the problems in the city, and when he gets framed for even BIGGER problems, he just has his own villain-moment, taking it out on the Reds and Blues... but they win him over. New vigilante hero! He moves into the mansion with the rest of them, but one night when they return, the place has a new guest; Carolina, who informs them that this is HER FAMILY'S HOME. She's been away, doing all kinds of cool secret martial arts training around the world (that's right, she's the REAL Batman~), and comes back to to find a whole circus moved in while she was gone?

She also explained that the underground caves were where he father once had a whole secret project going on, with people being part of several experiments that claimed to make them "super heroes", but those running the show had ulterior motives (some of them were selling tech to other groups, thus creating lots of criminals with a huge advantage). Wash had been part of this program, but like the Reds, he never knew about the mansion above ground or the connection to Carolina's family. Tex was part of it too, but she kind of forgot some of it. Church... well, it seems that one the plans of Carolina's father was to try and bring her mother back to life, and one attempt involved a sample from a supernatural pool of energy, which he tested on himself first. The result was Church (this is a bit like all the R'as al Ghul/Jason Todd stuff).

More Batman-tastic shenanigans ensue... meanwhile, over in Metropolis, all the Chorus problems are happening! Instead of a surviving child of Krypton coming to Earth, a ship containing the collective history and technology landed on the planet. In secret, a group has been slowly using the advanced tech for personal gain, and some people are also stealing it for themselves. Two sides of a "war" break out, each being manipulated into fighting because once they're all gone, nothing will stop a certain rich business man from taking everything for himself (Hargrove is basically Lex Luthor. Felix and Locus use lots of Krypton tech, and also have access to the temporary Super Serum that gives them small doses of powers).

Sorry, that was a LOT for a basic "Batman/Superman" AU haha

#ask #answer #anon #red vs blue #rvb

20 notes · View notes

brutaliakent · 2 years

Text

// Not Tim Drake friendly

Like idk how to start this but I'll just profess by saying that majority of what I talk about is about his fanon characterisation and if you get offended then in the nicest way possible idgaf

Like why is Tim so fucking infantalized in fanon like some of his fans so obsessed with making him oppressed and a victim when he's not. Its like him in comics canon and him potrayed by fandom by 90% of fics I've read are two totally different person.

He's like a mediocre person in comics at best, I dont like him but I dont mind him either. Also he is written as a misogynist and his treatment of his gfs is abominable but I let it slide cuz maybe it was the writers fault idk

But the way fans potray him to be this holier than thou- never doing anything wrong and smartest robin (cue eyeroll) is wild and wholey inaccurate cuz like he's not. Canonically they're all similar iq and they're all trained by a detective so they're quite good at it, Dick was a mathelete and Jason had solid GPA of 94.8 and Tim dropped out of school to search for Bruce. He is tech savvy and good at computers but he's not the only one from the batfamily to be that is he, I'd say Barbara is the best at that but don't forget Dick used to be a hacker too like I've seen some of yall treat him as this one dimensional sunshine person who has eldest daughter syndrome but like he also has temper and he's clever and sharp and if I'm not wrong he even as degree in Business in main dc universe but that's besides the point

Also headcanoning him as asian feels weird and very playing into stereotype of asians being this super smart people (when there's no proof he's anything but white in canon)

Fanon also for some strange reasons hold on to Jason and Damian trying to kill him and saying how much it would have caused him trauma while completely removing him from the scene except for that scenario. Let me explain for example Damian trying to kill him where they forget the instigator of some are Tim too like he was legit 17 yr old beefing with 10 yr old bffr, did we also collectively ignore him putting the same 10 yr old on a hitlist like... yall act like this was a buffet and you can pick and choose but the thing is that you can pick and choose what to accept from canon but if you're picking Tim being attacked by Dami then maybe mention what he did too instead of victimizing him

Just kinda throwing it in here cuz we're talking about it, Dick didnt fire Tim from Robin because of bad faith, I'm pretty sure it was Alfred who gave Damian the Robin suit first but Dick didnt want Tim to be Robin because Dick saw Tim as an equal rather than a sidekick.

Also the big deal of Jason's attack on Titans Tower irks me a little but like pls remember that Jason made a last minute decision to go there and just beat the shit out of Tim and that's it and it wasnt nice of him to do that but I support his wrongs too

Since we're talking about Titans Tower fics anyways I also find it incredibly peculiar that writers (fanfic) potray him much younger than he was like Tim was 17 during UTRH and around 19 during Teen Titans #29

(Also pretty sure like 99.9% sure that Jason calling Tim 'Replacement' also came from fanon and it was from j*yt*m shippers so like 😵��💫,, although Jason did call him 'Pretender' in Batman Hush a few times)

(Also highjacking this to talk about Pit madness cuz for some reason there are too many fics about it so like please remember that pit madness and the extent of it is just a fanon thing there is no proof of it happening for more than 5 mintues in canon and Jason was not the only one besides Ra's to use it but Cassandra has also been in the pit... So like yeah Jason did some fucked up shit post resurrection and he did it willingly no supernatural green pool was involved and its ok ❤️, like let him be his own person)

That went majorly off tangent,,, anyways also Tim was never abused physically or otherwise by his parents, they neglected him and child abandonment too for sure (ALSOOOO He spent more thanhalf of his school life in boarding school so it probably won't count as child abandonment but I dont know if its canon to main universe so I'm just putting it out there)

Adding to that is a fanfic issue that is around the potrayal of him in fics where Jason didnt die or wouldn't die and Tim joined the family early, most of those are pretty harmless and wholesome and this is not the critique of those writers so don't take personally but idk how it got so polarising and popular that Tim was a tiny kid and when he and Jason met younger (most fics I've read were from 3rd pov or Jason's pov) and in most of them it is stated that Tim is smaller for his age and Jason mistakes him for a younger age which just doesnt make sense. Like it would be one thing for someone else like Dick or Bruce to make that assumption and entirely different for Jason cuz CANONICALLY Jason was shorter at 15 than Tim was at 13 and it makes sense cuz Jason was malnourished which resulted in stunted growth rate, so like you're telling me that Jason at 15 saw 13 year old Tim and assumed he was 9 like it just doesnt make sense to me

And look this may be seen as nitpicks (and it probably is) but if it was in smaller quantity it could be ignorable but its everywhere and my patience is not endless and I'm fucking tired of him.

Also just to throw that in that all the bulleted points while in themselves alone may seem annoying but harmless, arent all of them together as fanon perception of him just infantalising him overall like its not they're true or anything...

Like lets be real Tim was just a blatant robin self insert, he was 13 when he went to a grieving father whos son was recently murdered and basically blackmailed him into making him robin cuz he thought "Batman needs a Robin" like dude you're 13... also can you imagine how Bruce must have felt in situation like but I dont think blaming Tim for this is right cuz he was a child and he didn't know better

Glorifying a white, rich (because yes he was rich enough to be neighbours with Wayne) character and demeaning and villanising a person of color and a dead poor person (cant keep track of how many times there's implied or outright said that Jason's death is his fault and how Tim's much smarter than Jason and better than him despite having no street smarts on him and being a trust fund baby)

Howevere, it'll be incredibly in poor taste to say that those weren't rooted in racism and classism [because they were] and its not Tim's fault his writers were disgusting but it is furthered and accepted and preached in fanon so like that's no excuse imo

Also if we include him with Robins he is not that special like he dont stick out ... and he terribly lacks any creativity and imagination like he took the mantle of robin and then red robin which like he didnt think through.

And like I'm not dismissing his trauma from attempts on his death but he was robin for 3-4 years before Jason tried to kill him I'm plenty sure he's used to his life being in danger comes with job description and if he didnt want that.. well nobody asked him he served himself on silver platter to be traumatised so yeah

So yeah fanon tim is my number one enemy and idc about him in canon and if you disagree with this please make your own post

This was a long vent of a short(lmao) list of just things that bother me

388 notes · View notes

hornystiel · 1 year

Note

fics about bruce and harvey? 👀 i am so very intrigued, please tell me more

ok SO. (sorry i'm still excited so this can be long) i read the comics ones (while devouring the gist about them in different comics through tumblr osmosis and memes and relying on my previous dc knowledge) aand they are..very interesting. the thing about them is that they are bitter exes (who may or may not really hooked up in the past but were very close and now are definitely divorced) but who still care about each other. well bruce def still cares about harvey and two face. harvey is...reluctant (the whole thing with harvey not thinking he deserves to be saved, yes). and his dark side mostly hates both bruce and batman and doesn't trust them. which is another interesting thing about them and their 'other sides'. there are basically FOUR different relationships going. batman, two-face (harvey's criminal side and his personality), harvey and bruce. because in half the cases two face doesn't know batman's identity. and all of them have beef and tension. both the angry one and sexual. so it's really interesting how they can coexist and do shit with/to each other. one of the tags i saw was Romantic Face Punching and yeah. yeah.

ALSO there's one fic where bruce is undercover as another criminal dude named matches (i'm a bit all over the place with the comics) and basically hires himself to help harvey in his criminal activities to check on harvey from time to time. and like!! basically bruce isn't either truly himself or batman and harvey, who's instantly figured him out, is like huh. i have angst with bruce and rage with batman but he's neither rn. sure i'll bite. and they communicate by PRETENDING they don't know who they are. and two face is..mostly quieter when matches!bruce is around and harvey is like ??? and this is so good because all the layers of pretending and not being themselves is so them. and harvey doesn't use a coin when deciding things about bruce! twice! also harvey is so vulnerable when he strips for the first time in front of him help

the fic if you're interested

the other fics (i read only explicit fics sorry) were like 'ok we hook up ONCE and it's not PERSONAL' and then well :) it's angsty and too personal anyway

also this happened

two face was like 'if harvey can't say he has a thing for choking and gay thoughts about batman i may very well do him a service while said batman tries to choke me in an alley'. harvey once he's in charge: 'god fucking dammint'. sorry i know it's evil but it was funny gdgdh

anyway i didn't read much (i was doing it at work rip) but they are so unwell and also sad drama queen puppies

i was never interested in other batman ships except for batcat so i think i've finally found my niche thank you misha collins and jackles. again. the first thing i saw with twobats where i thought 'hmm very fruity' was a cartoon with jensen voicing bruce and him and harvey being very cozy with each other <3 when they still worked together and harvey didn't know who batman was

ANYWAy thank you for coming to my insane rambling ted talk i will probably be insane about them in the foreseeable future

#asks #twobats #bruharvey #thoughts in words

66 notes · View notes

transgender-bruce-wayne · 2 years

Note

Alfred has had the most insane career path I think about it weekly. Like imagine you're the son of a butler to some established American family, and everyone just expects you'll grow up to take his place, but you're like, "Fuck that! Give my whole life away? For some boring household service? No, dad, that's YOUR dream!" and you move back to England and join the military and become a secret service agent and go on spy missions like 007, and then you get sick of being a literal superspy and decide you want to be an actor instead so easy as that your undercover experience gets you onto the stages of West fucking End just that easy huh. And then you're called back to America, because your dad is dying, and you're like, "Ok, I'll come. I'll grieve. I'll help out. I'll take care of him. And then I'm going back to my life," except then you meet Thomas' son, and he's this lonely little bookworm who looks like what might come out if you took two of your dearest friends and stuck them in a blender, and he's immediately attaches himself to you and won't stop asking you questions. And THEN your friends/employers die after you didn't drive them home from the movies, and they leave this traumatized little boy behind with no one but him, and you're like, "I'm never leaving you again. You hear me? I'm never leaving you alone again." And you realize, shit, you've become your father. You've totally become everything you said you wouldn't. You've given up your life of freedom and excitement for one dedicated wholly to the service of someone else in boring household work. Except it's Bruce. And you're Alfred. And because he's him, and you're you, and you RAISED him, he grows up to be the goddamn Batman. And that's your career path. Very different from the expected job description.

alfred has every single right to lecture bruce when hes being stupid because alfred has lived both as citizen and as a man with a more "daring" career path, which means he knows what it's like to be on both sides of the experience that bruce puts himself through as batman. but at the same time alfred was fucking edgy ass hell going into the secret service so he also has no right at all to lecture bruce

oh, to be a british ex-secret service agent, ex-actor, current-butler working for a mentally ill rich boy in new jersey that fights criminals with a bat-aesthetic.

do you think alfred ever realized how unique his career path was, or do you think he just considered it normal compared to bruce's nightly endeavors?

#that bit about alfred never leaving bruce is so sweet #god you just bring hit after hit man #im going to be thinking about this for the next few weeks LMAO #bruce wayne #batman #alfred #alfred pennyworth

271 notes · View notes

mkiss723 · 14 days

Text

LitG S8 Max Route

Vol. I-V Ep. 1-15

I chose Jack to couple up with because Oakley can’t take a joke about being a fireman… sorry but it is hot. In both senses of the word 😅 sorry not sorry! But also Jack liking dogs and gardening was such a great initial common interest thing to go on.

Sophie/Jack & Luna/Jin are replaceable after you pick your guy. Whichever couple stays are buttheads to you.

Jack is ok, but more serious than I thought he would be. I miss Jin’s humor so much. I have to say that even with most of the same dialogue choices/banter between us, there is no spark. Which does makes me going full on for Max an easier decision.

Vol. VI Ep. 16-18

Again I did not flirt at all with Hari, but I did pick the options for saying I missed Jack so it pretty much went the same. I’m really just plugging along until Casa… which is next 😆

Vol. VII Ep. 19-21

CASA TIME!! I am choosing all the gem options to get with Max. ALL OF THEM! Bring it on!

E19: Straight away, the fill in the blank game gem option I picked was the “smooch a boy” and wow what a smooch it was! Choosing to share a bed with Max was such a good choice too. He is so flirty and cute! Telling me what he likes was sexy and I agree with them 😏

E20: ooh raunchy races! And this time I actually kissed the others (except Liam cuz I have standards lol) and I did the gem option to win and had another epic smooch with Max 😘

E21: Winners party was fun. The sipping game was fun and the gem selection scene was incredible if you kept flirting *chef’s kiss* Loved sitting with Max and talking and getting to know each other more. He is so flirty and I love it. Slept with him again and did bits with him that night. Worth it! He’s amazing! 😏

Vol. VIII Ep. 22-24

E22: This is where I started to fall for Max in my first playthrough (w/o any diamond scenes & then I started replaying for his), but getting to keep the previous options and choosing the new one was even better. He just gave serious butterflies during the date. Telling about the smile lines, going over the “words” on MC, cuddling in his arms, sweet story of him paying for a girlfriend’s parents to visit even though he was saving, playing with her hair. Ugh my heart! I’m so smitten with him 🥴

E23: We smashed it at the Mr & Mrs game! And I loved all the flirty things we did and said to each other during. More annoyed when Luna took Max. Definitely called her out this time for picking him.

E24: Last night at Casa. Yay! Obviously spent the night with Max and I think it was even better since I got to have all the earlier moments with him too. And hearing him recap them all the next morning and how mushy he was about them all was sweet. He’s just perfect 🫠

Vol. IX Ep. 25-27

E25: This is a short episode. Most compatible with Max of course! Yuck to Liam. Pushed him in the pool again 😜

E26: Brought Max back and walked in holding hands. Sorry Jack. Told Max I’m into him. Obvs! Didn’t argue with Sienna when she wanted to steal Jack. Go right ahead.

E27: Pool party was much less awkward since I’m focused on Max and don’t care what Sienna does. Liam’s question and Luna’s deflection ruined the mood of course. Then Jack asked me that very important question about cracking on in casa…

Vol. X Ep. 28-30

E28: I started this episode off with a big old LIE - told Jack I did nothing at Casa (for reasons that pay off later) Snogged and married Max! Pied Liam cuz who else is worth this one?! And then I sexily pied Max with the extra pie. Yum 😜

E29: Ahhh couple drama! Everyone lying to their partners about Casa stuff. So messy… So glad I’m with Max because we are golden!!

E30: Couple Goals 2.0 was fine. Pretty much the same results except Max and I got voted most likely to marry this time and I’ll take it! And the terrace scene… holy moly Batman 🔥 I loved it and didn’t have to feel bad because he’s my couple and the one I want 😍

Vol. IX Ep. 31-33

E31: MOVIE NIGHT!!! woohoo drama!! Max’s two scenes were so sweet I almost got a toothache 🥰 I have to say that I actually kept the secrets this time around because I wanted to see everything unfold at movie night which was fine… Until we got to mine and holy shit did FB go all out with what they showed! 🫣

E32: Boys choice recoupling and this is why I lied to Jack… he does not pick me because of that lie - which does kill me inside, but I want Max. Only Max. And again, the only time I will thank Liam for anything - so glad he got cream all over us so we could have another amazing spicy scene 🥵

E33: The scene is much funnier with Sienna if you’re coupled with Max because she really thinks we care if she tells Jack?? Like ok whatever floats your boat honey! 🤣 The heart rate challenge is all good this way too. Sienna can have Jack all she wants and she stays away from Max! But OMG Jack’s superhero outfit is so bad 😂 like how could they do that do him?!

When Jin said his dream was to run in a marathon and wanted MC to join him, I almost died. My friend has been trying to get me run with her for over a year but I would rather go on a date with Liam than run anywhere 🤣 BUT Max wanting to go to a concert in the outdoor amphitheater in the mountains of Colorado?? Count me the fuck in 😅 I googled it and it looks awesome!

#love island the game #litg #fusebox #litg s8 #litg season 8 #litg max

14 notes · View notes

celaenaeiln · 7 months

Note

idk much about the rwby x dc crossover except jealous bumbleby but i did sort of keep up with the latest rwby season and your comment about dick and ruby getting along makes so much sense to me.

like ruby is the leader and it’s really been weighing on her for a couple of season until it kinda comes to a head in the latest and she snaps. like this season has rwby + jaune go through basically a wonderland dimension and while the others went through instances where they faced their inner selves/troubles there’s a being that actively made sure ruby couldn’t and that lead to the others becoming more sure of themselves and even for blake and yang to finally get together and it’s great and sweet!

only issue was ruby had been closing herself off slowly the entire season and putting on a brave face until she couldn’t. because as much as the others were getting better they never stopped looking at her to lead and she basically goes why am i always the one with the plan and the one who’s happy etc until she runs off after she realized she snapped. which all leads to her having a no good bad time where the others are too late to uh. let’s say stop her from “remaking” herself into a new person who fundamentally isn’t ruby anymore.

she does get a therapy session in and realizing it’s ok for her to love herself and be herself burdens or not and coming back to kick ass with everyone.

sorry for the ramble especially if you’re already kept up on rwby but idk ruby and dick to me have so many parallels with both being the youngest and leader in their respective og teams (rwby and teen titans) as well as the burden of being the one who always has to move forward through everything. also both of them being literal beacons of hope with how ruby in the season before last sent out a worldwide transmission asking for help and giving hope in the same speech and dick being dick. ok now i’m done thanks for reading the word vomit <3

Not at all I loved reading all of it!

I'm actually not caught up with the RWBY but I really got into Ruby when I stumbled across the RWBY: Ice Queendom opening scene.

youtube

And I was instantly hooked!

I kept watching the show and I just fell in love with Ruby. My favorite type of characters are those that are cheerful and sweet but unstoppable badasses. AKA RUBY AND DICK. Not only that, both Ruby an Dick are the leaders of their teams. Ruby with the RWBY team and Dick with everyone. Literally, he'll walk into the room and everyone else automatically treats him like the leader.

Saw this by @hadesisqueer-

and went Dick Grayson.

They're so alike!!

I never knew that about Ruby closing herself off but that's another way they're so identical.

Dick loves his family and friends but on his worst days he's really closed off.

Outsiders (2003) Issue #12

As Huntress calls him emotionally repressed.

But that's what his friends are for and Wally points this out. The Titan's are there for Dick so he doesn't turn into Batman.

"she basically goes why am i always the one with the plan"

OH MY GOD THAT'S A CANON DICK MOMENT

The New Teen Titans (1988) Issue #77

Word for word! I'm starting think that dick and ruby might be the same person in a different universe.

Lindsay Jones who plays Ruby described her mentality as, "selfless, but that means she's not dealing with her own issues. Compartmentalizing and internalizing her grief is what might eventually destroy her."

ALDHFBAKHADKFHALKH I LITERALLY WROTE AN ENTIRE POST ABOUT DICK'S COMPARTMENTALIZATION AND HOW HE INTERNALIZED HIS GRIEF SO HE DOESN'T BURDEN OTHERS WITH IT AND ALSO ACT LOVING AND HAPPY

Ruby also has a strong sense of moral justice and her understanding of the battle field makes her battle tactics one of the best in the entire RWBY universe. Much like Dick, the two of them are able to understand the situation quicker than everyone else and are able to formulate a plan that leaves them winning practically every time.

Not to mention, they both have sweet tooths. Ruby with her sugary coffee and Dick with his sugary cereal.

There's so much I could go on about the similarities between these two. The crazy intelligent cinnamon rolls with the tactical sense of Sun Tzu and the heart of Mansa Musa.

I was so happy to see all their interactions.

DC/RWBY Issue #2

Issue #3

#dick grayson #nightwing #ruby rose #rwby #helena bertinelli #huntress #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

21 notes · View notes

im-totally-not-an-alien-2 · 2 years

Text

Ok, so @xmarksthespotonthemilkyway made ficlets and they gave me so many ideas and I'm about to make that everyone else's problem.

1. Braindead soulmate au where they're separated by dimensions and Danny is searching through the Infinite Realms looking for the man who's name is on his body.

Danny pops out of this weird pool of ectoplasm, scaring the daylights out of some ninja guards who send one away to notify some "demon" of his appearance. Danny tries to talk to them but has to beat them up. When Ras appeared Danny commented that he needed to teach his guys some manners.

Ras asks who he is and how he got here.

Danny sasses him and tells him he's Phantom and he came from the pool.

Ras is interested until Danny casually asks Ras if he knows a "Timothy Drake" when asked why Danny casually mentions Tim's name is on his back (meaning they're soulmates) Ras is super invested at this point.

It goes as well as you'd expect.

2. Tim musing about his soulmate by @xmarksthespotonthemilkyway :

"What could he be, with them? What could they be, with him?

Unstoppable, he always like to believe"

Hnnn makes me think of an au where Tim and a op Danny are from separate dimensions and the Observants and other Powers That Be are doing everything they can to make sure these two never meet.

They fail. Cue the Observants screaming in terror and curling up in balls to cry about how doomed they are all while Tim and Danny are being cute and blushy with eachother in the little crystal ball they were using to spy on them.

Let's be honest. If either of them became evil everyone would be screwed. If both became evil....you better practice bowing down I guess.

3. Tim never understood why he could never find his soulmate. His full name was written in small slightly messy handwriting on his left shoulder blade for all to see (including him if he had a mirror or two) so why didn't his name exist in any database?

Tim never would have thought it was because his soulmate was from another dimension. Or that he was going by his adopted name, Daniel James Fenton.

No one knows Dannys real name given to him at birth. No one but him, his birth mom and Jazz, who helped him burn the documents his parents have never more than glanced at before adopting him.

4. Au of the au where Danny is the lovechild of BatCat and when he learns the (civilian) identities of his parents he contacts Selena to get to know her and they meet up literally anywhere except Gotham to avoid being discovered by Batman or Bruce Wayne.

Selena tells him about her being Catwoman but not anyone else's identities. They weren't her secrets to share after all. Word gets out that she's "taken an apprentice" and the bats and birds try to befriend him whenever they can. Danny has taken to stopping in Bloodhaven every chance he gets to chat with Nightwing and Co.

Danny gets wounded and his soulmark (Tim's full name) gets revealed and the bat has a "oh snap!" moment. Its even better if its Tim himself who's there as Red Robin for the drama.

#fanfiction prompts #prompts #dp x dc #danny phantom #danny fenton #catwoman #selena kyle #batman #red robin #tim drake #braindead #tim drake x danny fenton

895 notes · View notes

animentality · 21 days

Note

Your hot take on the boys and invincible kinda piss3d me off, not cause I totally disagree, but only because superhero media as a whole is lazy. Specifically for these two, though? The boys isn't just evil superman, it's corporate owned supervillainy, vigilantes who don't have powers, and yeah the shock value gets too much sometimes but like clearly you haven't seen it. And invincible is about a kid (son of superman) who is betrayed by his idol and forced to fight him and lose. Maybe don't judge so quickly!!

What, I have to watch the entire show to judge it?

That would necessitate that I take time out of my day to watch something that I don't like.

And if I watched the entirety of both, and still hated it, you'd tell me I shouldn't watch things I "hate" and I should just leave you and your dumb opinions alone.

So we're discarding that part of your argument because it's pointless.

oh wait.

but that's your entire argument.

hm.

well.

ok. let's talk anyway.

so first off. you just said that superhero media as a whole is lazy.

that's quite a generalization to make about a genre.

I don't disagree but you're giving me shit for saying deconstructions of super hero movies are worse, to me personally, than super hero movies themselves, when you just made a blanket opinion statement disguised as a fact.

Think about that for a second.

Then I wanna talk about the whole "it's about politics" and "subversion of superman" schtick.

you're telling me that the boys is about politics, and invincible is an alien invasion story.

yet neither of those things need to be told through a superhero angle. they just are because of the superhero hype justifying their existence in the market.

and that's fine and all... but to me that's what they are.

gimmicks based on what was hot at the time, which was super heroes.

so they don't exist without the superhero genre to make fun of. they don't have relevance except by being reactionary.

and that's a lame selling point for me.

super hero movies have been dying lately, and frankly, I didn't even know invincible had a season 2 until I saw invincible had popped up on fortnite.

and even then I didn't see anyone talking about it, aside from the shock value of the rape scene.

but don't worry. we'll get to that.

as for the boys, well, I don't know, it could last for some time... but do deconstructions that wallow in misery and mega angst and are highly topical based on the year they were released really stand the test of time?

I don't know. we'll see.

all I know is that no one anticipated the fall of marvel after the success of Endgame...

but look at it now.

The Marvels, Antman 3, Madame Web... the lackluster performance of DC...

if you look back at the boys 50 years from now, what will you see?

a satire of the Justice League.

but it's not something on its own.

at least watchmen, as garbage as it is, has unique characters and a weird, but mildly interesting take on history.

the boys is like oh what if there was a world where superheroes existed and they killed people?

yeah that'll stand the test of time I'm sure.

Spiderman has lasted this long because he's relatable. He was the prime example of a changing genre, that allowed its heroes to be more down to earth.

Batman has his gothic detective thing, and you can tell so many stories with him, as he's just an ordinary man, who's also coincidentally a huge freak at the same time. what's not relatable about that?

And even Superman... oh, so he's boring because he's a good person?

yeah. sure. I don't particularly like him. I don't think he's that deep.

but his popularity did come from the basic idea that people should be good to each other.

what is the average jackass going to learn or remember from the boys?

oh that homelander likes drinking breast milk.

gee, that's relatable.

also that the deep fucked an octopus.

because haha... Aquaman, am I right?

so.

now let's move on to shock value.

It sucks.

the boys is made for people who hate super heroes.

it's fine to hate super heroes, but Jesus Christ.

you hate them so much that you make them edgy. you make them rapists and mass murderers. you make them do nasty shit just because you wanna make someone vomit.

like. ok.

I don't like shock value in anything, not even horror movies.

if there's no plot reason for it, then I don't want to see it.

but the boys is all about throwing in sex scenes wherever they can, and making them as fucking weird as they can just because "oh we're not marvel."

yeah. I know that. even marvel pretends to have a story from time to time.

the boys literally starts off with a fucking 90s ass rape revenge story. like seriously?

so revolutionary ahahaha.

with a guy who fucks animals.

and is meant to be sympathetic later on because he's pathetic.

soo soooo deep.

good rape revenge plot.

reminds me of the misogyny of blade runner, and the director saying well I'm objectifying women because sexism exists in real life.

gee thanks, guy.

forgive me if I was turned off by a show that immediately sexually assaulted its main female character.

I'm a triggered snowflake, hahah, you got me.

but when I look at all this, it's like...

I never got into game of thrones because I never liked the mega edge lord plot of that either.

but at least game of thrones was doing something different with a genre, rather than just making a satire or parody of the genre.

it stands on its own.

the boys relies entirely on shock value and superheroes having sex in depraved ways.

it might have some valid political commentary somewhere in its messy gory insides, but nothing I couldn't get, and much better, from the Wire.

8 notes · View notes

circusgoth-dotcom · 10 months

Text

An Uninvited Guest

Ship: The Joker x Hannibal "Bill" Feather (Civilian AU)

Word Count: 1740

Summary: I finally got motivated to write some good ol' J/Keaton! AU flavoured, too! The first part is inspired by a short fic I read ages ago on W.att.pad (I think, though it could've also been De.viantAr.t now that I think about it, I didn't really have a go-to fic-reading website back in the day, I just read whatever links came up on Google lmao) about Joker's attention being captured by someone completely mundane, which obviously he finds very strange. The rest of it is a scenario I've thought about/attempted to write before and just hadn't quite gotten the latch on it until now: An injured Joker appears in my s/i's home, and instead of freaking out (Ok, he's freaking out a little bit) he opts to help Joker by cleaning and patching up his wounds as best he can. CWs for brief descriptions of glass-related injuries and blood, brief food mention. Ask to add further warnings as I feel like there could be more but I'm not sure.

Tag List: @canongf @knightfallships @futurewife

One evening, as The Joker was taking a joyride around Gotham, he happened to turn his purple sports car down an alleyway. Creeping down the shadowy road, he soon came to a complete stop, distracted by something... or rather, someone. It seemed entirely trivial for this person to have caught Joker’s eye, and yet he couldn’t help but watch as a pale figure in baggy clothing fumbled with their keys, hoisting two bags of groceries with their opposite arm. For a moment, he was astonished that they had not glanced over their shoulder and observed his vehicle yet.

He heard them groan as they dropped the set of keys, setting the bags on the asphalt before stooping and fishing them back into their hand. At that moment, Joker shook himself out of his trance and grinned widely as he revved his engine, his headlights blinking to life, relishing in the way the civilian startled at the sudden noise. He sped out of the alley, cackling as the civilian pressed themselves against the wall of their building, narrowly avoiding being clipped by the car's side mirror. Still, when The Joker returned to his hideout, their face flashed in his memory. It was frankly a bit annoying, the longest he had ever considered a civilian was typically in the moments leading to their death or how they could be of use to his schemes. Why in Batman’s name did a person returning home from an errand strike him so fervently?

It was a stormy night in Gotham, a not-at-all-uncommon occurrence, when Bill awoke to the distinct sound of a smashed window. It jolted him out of a heavy sleep and prompted him to grab a flashlight and an unused handgun.

“That better have been a fucking neighbour’s, I have to be up at six tomorrow...”Bill grumbled to himself as he cautiously padded into the hallway and onto his staircase. Shining his flashlight through the railing, his heartbeat thundered in his ears as his eyes adjusted to the scene. His front window, facing the street, was indeed smashed. More concerningly, a figure lay on the floor underneath it in a heap. For a moment, all he could do was stand and stare, all parts of him frozen except for the hammering in his chest. A clap of thunder sprung him into action, sending him back up the stairs to retrieve a first aid kit from his bathroom before returning to the bottom floor of his apartment.

“Hey, are you alright??” Bill called as he approached, shoving his firearm in the waistband of his sleep pants. He slowed as he got close enough to make out the person’s features... green hair and a sharp purple suit... his stomach dropped with recognition, then leapt into his throat as the figure groaned, pushing itself up to observe him. The Joker stared blearily ahead, barely acknowledging the glass sticking out of his snow-white skin. He had jumped the curb and had been sent flying out of his convertible and through someone’s window. Clearly, the owner of the window was staring down at him now, struck with fear. Still, he was too dazed to even quip at them...

“What the Hell am I doing?” Bill hissed to himself as his body moved of its own accord. He moved forward and wrapped his arms under the criminal’s armpits before dragging him around to his couch, hoisting his wiry frame onto the thick cushions. Turning on the nearest lamp, he flinched at the shift in lighting and opened the first aid kit, taking out a pair of tweezers, a small bag of cotton balls, and a bottle of disinfectant. Biting his lip, he observed his unlikely patient. The Joker’s eyes rolled and flicked unpredictably under his fluttering, blue eyelids, his nostrils flaring...

“Are you with me?” Bill snapped his fingers over the clown’s face, earning him another grunt. “Good enough. I’m going to take the glass out of your skin, now. Though compared to the punches you take from Batman, this must just feel like a few quick pokes, eh?”

The Joker made another sound and Bill was sure it was some subconscious, feeble attempt at a chuckle. Taking a deep breath, he set to the unfamiliar task, tweezing away the shard of glass- most of which was embedded in the clown’s face, treating the bleeding holes with antiseptic, and covering them with little, round, Loony Tunes-themed bandages. While his hair still stood on end, it was at least comforting that the clown seemed completely out of it from the force at which he had crashed into his living room. He had to wonder if he had broken or at least sprained anything, other than the glass.

Brushing glass off of the clown’s coat, the final piece Bill removed was in his hand, forcing him to take off the man’s gloves, setting them aside on the floor. As he worked, he marvelled at how oddly soft Joker’s hands were, though he supposed it had to be because he wore those gloves all the time. He was pretty sure the man didn’t have fingerprints, so then he had to wonder why he wore the gloves at all, besides the fact he obviously didn’t care much for hiding himself, either.

Stepping back and looking down as the clown twitched in a state somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness, he supposed all he could do was wait and let things unfold once Joker came to. He suddenly felt sick. The Clown Prince of Crime was laying, injured, in his living room. Of all the crazy shit he dealt with in Gotham, why oh why did the universe send him this?! For all he knew, the next few hours could be his last. He slipped into the kitchen and poured himself a shot of something strong, chucking it back and groaning in disgust. The digital clock on his oven read 2:06am. Pulling himself together, Bill set back toward his bedroom, throwing a final glance over his shoulder at the criminal on his couch before ascending the stairs.

At five-thirty, Bill jolted awake, though not due to anything obvious. He blinked rapidly, staring up at the ceiling. He could still hear the rain, though it sounded much lighter than it had been. Wiping his hands over his face, his heart skipped a beat as he remembered what might be waiting for him downstairs. Knowing he had to get up soon anyway, he swung himself out of bed and went into his bathroom, splashing water on his face in an attempt to “sober up” before facing his possible demise.

“Y’know what. I didn’t want to go to work today, anyway, so what’s the big fuckin’ deal?” He murmured to himself as he went back downstairs. His breath caught in his throat as he reached the landing, causing him to cough in surprise. The Joker had disappeared. He almost cried out in relief... before he heard his fridge open. Oh, holy mother of shit.

Anxiously, he inched toward his kitchen... feet away, The Joker stood in front of his fridge, handling his chocolate milk jug. He watched as he gave it a groggy swirl before unscrewing the cap and lifting it to his cherry lips. Sudden outrage completely overtook Bill’s sense of self-preservation.

“Shit, you really are evil!”

Briefly choking and clearly caught off guard, the jug was swiftly pulled away from Joker’s lips as he stared in Bill’s direction. Deliberately, he replaced the cap and wiped his lips with the back of his hand, replacing his expression with a blood-curdling grin.

“Ehhh, what’s up, doc?” He sneered, performing an impression of Bugs Bunny and touching one of his new bandaids that depicted the character. He placed the jug back in the fridge and closed it, suddenly appearing in front of Bill as if he had taken one giant step between the kitchen and the living room, towering over him. “You’re a curious one, aren’t you?”

Bill shrunk away, oddly enough feeling a blush creep into his face. Still, he spoke with daring, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Joker chuckled. “Well, my dear, it means you could’ve hauled me back into the street after I so unceremoniously barged in... but you didn’t. In fact, you plunked me down on your couch, but you didn’t just stop there, no, you patched me up. Any other citizen would’ve called 911 or at least busted their ass over to a motel... hoo-hoo, much like when you see a spider! Burn the house down! Forfeit all your mortal possessions to the bug with too many legs!” Slapping his knee, the clown let out a full-blown cackle. “But not you, oh no, not you! In fact, that must’ve been why you caught my eye, you seemed so perfectly mundane that I subconsciously knew there was something special about you.”

Joker’s crystal-blue eyes sparkled madly as he gave Bill a far-too-interested stare.

“You’ve been stalking me?” Bill forced out, covering a gulp of fear.

“No, silly! Don’t you remember? You must’ve been coming home from the grocery store and I happened to be driving through your alley... I gave you a good scare while you were fumbling with your keys.”

The evening vaguely came back to him. “Yeah, and you damn near knocked me out with your side mirror!”

Joker laughed again and pinched Bill’s cheek. “Precisely.~ Ohwhh, lookit you...” He began cooing as Bill’s blush worsened at the touch. “I want to know more, dollface. What’s your story? Or at least, your name.”

With that Joker plopped himself down on the couch, resting his leg on his knee expectantly as Bill whipped around to face him. He puffed out his chest... “A-and if I-I don’t?” And stuttered, swearing under his breath.

“Darling, just because you’re interesting doesn’t mean you’ll entertain me for long. I could always use you to get Batman’s attention instead.” A very real danger suddenly weighed upon the room, much more apparent than before. “Sit.”

Bill swallowed again and sat on the far end of the couch. “My name’s Hannibal Feather, but eh, everyone calls me Bill.”

Joker offered the hand Bill had bandaged with another sickening grin. “A pleasure to officially make your acquaintance, Bill.”

He hesitated for a moment, then shook Joker’s hand. He knew by doing this he had sealed his fate. This would not be the last time he spoke to this terrifying man.

#q'd #self shipping #self shipping community #self ship au #self insert #self insert x canon #self x canon #self insert oc #oc x canon #circus scripts #🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏#🌆🪴.s/i [Civilian AU]

27 notes · View notes