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jelly-o630 · 9 months

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Idea for a good omens fanfic I’ll never write but if someone is inspired by it feel free to use this as a prompt I guess

At least once every few I weeks I cry over the burning of the maya codex and get further upset over the fact that only one of them is even in the Americas so this is about that (this is honestly less of a prompt and more of a rough outline but eh)

After reading about the works of Bartomule De las Casas (Dominican friar who advocated for the end of all kinds of slavery in the Americas and argued that natives ARE people actually) and even writing to and encouraging Las Casas himself, Aziraphale convinces Crowley to head to the new world with him to take him out of his depressive slump after learning about the Spanish Inquisition. Aziraphale (a bit overly optimistic with how effective Las Casas works are) thinks if Crowley sees how much better humans are doing at NOT doing slavery it’ll cheer him up (and they’ll get to go on date nights in this “new” land they’ve never explored). Also I wanted to add that at this point the crown did have conversion protocols that tried to steer away from violence too after realizing that forcing people to convert doesn’t make them and their families very devote Christian’s and they’ll go back to native practices pretty quickly. These were unfortunately largely ignored. Moving on

He further manages to convince Crowley by being all like “you know keeping these native people from converting would be soooooo sinful and hell would definitely approve of you helped preserve native religions and stuff *wink* *wink*”. Azirphale plans to travel with a missionary Diego De Landa under the guise of an another missionary helping him I guess. It starts off fine at first, with aziraphale being really happy that De Landa is embracing native language and learning various customs to aid in conversion and being so dedicated to job (and for more shipy stuff Crowley finds a cave where the locals worship/ occasionally bury the dead and shows it to Zira as a sort of hang out spot for the two of them (a real place actually)) but their trip starts to sour when De Landa more violent tendencies start to show up. (Maybe there can be a scene where either aziraphale or Crowley overhear Gabriel and the other angels convince De Landa to be more aggressive with his conversion tactics idk)

While Aziraphale tries to calm De Landa down from all his “all Mayan written works are of the devil” bs by showing him some of the local people’s works and that they’re mostly family records (while ignoring the fact that a lot of them practiced ancestor worship) it only angers De Landa further and he threatens to burn all the idols and records people have. Threats that become promises when the cave that Crowley and Zira have been meeting up in is discovered and De Landa begins a campaign of torturing the locals to find out more about this place of worship.

Meanwhile hell discovers that our favorite demon has left his post in Spain but is once again commending cause he’s doing such a great job at tempting all these friars to sin- they give one last announcement that at that night when the friars burn all the codices and wooden figures they’re going to turn into hellfire so not even that pesky angel that followed him there will be able to save them, meanwhile Aziraphale is likewise commended for encouraging the friars to go all out with their faiths and they’re so excited to watch the burning tonight (at the same time part 3 the letters Zira receives from de las Casas are all about how much he hates what’s happening in Mexico and how he wishes he could stop it and eventually how deeply regrets the burning)

Crowley and Aziraphale separately (cause we all know they don’t talk to each other) try (and fail) to save various texts while accusing the other allowing everything to happen before realizing they’re both trying to do the same thing (on the same side 👀) but it’s too late and they’re only able get save a handful of codices and relics before De Landa and his men start burning everything- this doesn’t stop aziraphale from trying to run into the fire as a last ditch effort to save the texts only to held back by a Crowley yelling to him that it’s hell fire and will permanently discorporate him

The next morning, they secretly meet up with a few of the native people and tell them of what little they managed to save the night before- those people distraught and fearful of what happened last night tell them to take what they have and hide away from the Spanish so they won’t burn what little text they have left, Azriacrow agree with their idea but insist on leaving the shortest of the codex they saved and so with a couple of other treasures (a mask, knife handle, rope, and child’s sandal were what was found with the Grolier codex) they hide the codex in the very cave they’re been meeting in and where the people have been worshiping and leave for Britain again soon after (the actual cave the grolier codex was found was in a completely different state of mexico but that doesn’t match the narrative as well)

They do end up hiding the codices across Europe- one is given to De Las Casas which ends up being the Madrid codex, another is hidden in a library in Paris (the Paris codex), and the last is sold to an Italian collector whose fascination with the text assures the group that he won’t let it out of his collection for a long time (Dresden codex)- the selling of the Dresden codex is to date the only time Aziraphale has ever sold a book (well up until season 2 at least)

While that’s the end I do wanna add another through line one of a kid that either Crowley or Aziraphale (probably Crowley tbh) befriend and sort of learn everything from that dies either during De Landa’s torturing of the natives or commutes suicide after the burnings (which many people did- a lot of the figures were representative of family members mind you) and that’s where the child’s sand comes from- just as an extra layer of angst to this whole outline I’ve written (928 words that’s a lot more than I thought)

Anyways I hope whoever reads this enjoys it and feel free to make an actual fanfic or whatever from it you like- I don’t mind and uhh tell what you think

Edit: if someone does decide to write something based on this outline please tell me!!! I’d love to read what you write ❤️

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infuriatedleprechaun · 2 years

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OSTRACIZED

Chapter 20: Life

Hey guys! new chapter, I was kind of sluggish getting this one out because I felt like something was missing. So I wrote out an entirely new chapter that needed to be added between this and the main plot arc. That’s done now, so I can casually keep posting again until I get to the point I’m still writing on.

RECAP:

- "Not another bar" Ana assured, we couldn't help but to snicker.

"So where to?" Raph was walking in now.

"Weapons training" Ana squealed, holding up the three soft rifle cases.

- "Charlie said he'd get some former navy seals to help us out" I smiled.

- "Clarice! Sup girl!" "You guys know Wren?" Charlie raised a brow.

"How?"

"Um" I started.

"Some wild ass exploits" Ana kept it up in the air for the imagination.

- "We need your number, just in case I need to get patched up again" Ana got her phone out. Clarice rolled her eyes at that.

"Fine but don't call me if you get fairly detained. Or I will throw you under the bus so fast"

"I'd do that to me too" Ana assured as Clarice started to name off her number.

"Got it!" Ana said victoriously.

"Is the boy in purple taken?" Clarice said that so nonchalantly, making everyone raise their brows at her.

"Not to our knowledge. Why? Get to know him a bit better when you guys were patching everyone up?"

"You could say that, you can give him my number too" Clarice grinned.

-"Donnie~ good news~ what… What's wrong?" We both stopped, the smiles wiping off our faces upon seeing the turtle sitting on his stool, propping his head with a hand over his work bench, and just staring ahead. Disturbed.

- "It's Rasputia" he had to stop himself.

"She's pregnant"

Honestly, probably a needlessly long recap, but a lot did happen drama wise, and it is gonna have a play in the next chapter which is why I’m trying to help refresh yalls minds.

um, for warnings? I don’t THINK there are any in this chapter? Mentions of blood? But, if I’m wrong, please let me know!

18+. Still.

Life

"Bruuuuuh. What the fuuuuuck" Ana put her hands on her head, eyes wide. She turned away, starting to pace.

"Well. We're obviously the first ones you've told" Ana continued, facing the metal lab door, putting her hands down while she tried to process this.

"You wont be able to find out if its his until after the baby is born?..." I breathed. Eyes wide.

"What do you mean?" Don asked.

"I... I heard her... she was on the phone, talking dirty to someone they were going to meet up, later. The day she tried to kill him" I swallowed. This really wasn't the thing to tell Don in front of Ana, but this was a pretty urgent matter, as much as I didn't want to upset my sister.

"SHE WHAT?!" Ana had a fire in her eyes I have never seen, and she looked in the direction the woman was in. At the door. Ana pulled a knife and looked there dangerously. Most of the times I'd think she was just kidding, but this time I could see her killing someone. And it was a fight I could actually see her winning with nothing but pure untapped rage.

"Fuck she's lucky she's pregnant" Ana threw the knife angrily to the ground, it clanged, ricocheted and bounced away far too many times. Proving that she threw the sharp object with a lot of force.

"Should be able to figure out once the little on is developed enough to do an ultrasound. Shouldn't be too much longer. I'll probably do it first thing in the morning and try" he swallowed.

"Holy fuck. I can't believe this is happening" Ana was going back and fourth between anger and shock.

"We are going to have to move her out of there, give her some better living conditions" I pointed out nervously.

"We need to tell Mike too" The poor turtle definitely deserved to know, he was doing so much better, he seemed to be recovering so well from the relationship with the psycho abusive woman. Now he's going to have to be involved with her all over again.

"Yeah. Fuck" Don slid his hands under his glasses, thoroughly rubbing his eyes with a sigh, I felt that, I think we all did.

"We'll help you. Let's move her first" I suggested.

"I don't know how good of an idea doing that is with just the three of us" Donnie looked at us with uncertainty.

"I was able to control Alopex pretty well last time, I can use her to move Rasputia" I kept the part of me moving them out of it, it wasn't important.

"You were able to remember your fight, but I don't know how much that translates over to control" Donnie corrected me. When I stayed silent, his eyes narrowed behind his glasses as he put more thought into it, he was quick and intelligent and the fact I just nervously looked up at him and shrunk under the growing suspicion he had didn't help.

"You used Alopex. Injured. And lifted us into the truck. Didn't you?" he called me out.

"They don't call you the smart brother for nothing" Ana smiled, she was trying to find absolutely anything to smile about right now. But her eyes said it all, she was still stressing about this, which was justified in my opinion.

"I uh. Used Venus for you and Mike, you were light enough. But by the time I got to Leo and Raph-" I stopped myself, I was digging a hole. Specifically a grave. Here lies someone who's getting another ass chewing.

"You were doing it alone? And severely injured?" He kind of side eyed Ana in question, he didn't seem mad, just a litle agitated by the revelation. If that made any sense

"Don. I love you, you're a precious, smart, bean…. You're also 260 pounds…. Y'all heavy as fuck. Besides, I had guard duty to do" Ana explained

"Can hit the gym with me. Get that strength up" I offered her with a smile, I'm sure she would love my workouts, she used to weight lift with me back in the day.

"Fuck strength. I just wanna look how you looked sis. Let's build me and rebuild you" my eyes sparkled at that, my little sister was a wild one, I love her. When she wasn’t driving me crazy, of course.

"Deal"

"Stop changing the subject. You're in trouble" Donnie stopped Ana and pointed a large finger at me, making me side frown a bit, well, here it comes, I guess I should be used to this by now though.

"For what? Whatcha doing in here?" Raph walked in, followed by Mikey.

"You took too long babes" Mikey explained. I found myself looking at Donnie in a 'please don't tell him' look of desperation.

"Your girlfriend was the one the lifted us into the van back at Silver" Donnie said so quickly, as if trying to race the impact of my stare. I slowly threw my head back with exasperation, I wasn't trying to upset anyone when I did any of this! I swear!

"Daaaamn. I'm gonna borrow this" my sister walked over to one of the examination tables, grabbed a stethoscope, put it in her ears, walked back over to Donnie, planting it on his plastron. His head and body moved back an inch. What was she doing?

"Yup. As I feared. Heartless. You traitor" Ana took it off him and removed the cardiology tool from herself, tossing it back onto a work bench.

"No. I'm your sister's physician. And I need to act that way before I can continue to be her brother. She keeps being reckless" He had a point, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, me being reckless made a lot of work for him when I didn't heal properly, so it makes sense on why he was upset.

"You seriously lifted all of us onto the truck?" Raph raised a brow.

"In her injured state, you know, the gaping hole in her side" Donnie quickly added.

"Shit Abby. How?" He walked up to me, looking nothing but concerned. How did I ever get Raph? Bless his heart and the heart attacks I constantly put it through. I felt so bad. Guilty. But I couldn’t just leave them there, given the same situation I'd do the same thing, though. It was the quickest, most direct route to keep them all safe.

"I... I can control Alopex. I used my turtle form to get Mike and Don-"

"You were injured in that form too?" Donnie asked, I knew it was for research purposes.

"Yes. And then I had to use Alopex for you and Leo" I explained.

"Fuck Abby" clearly his scolding wasn't working on me, in his eyes. I never liked hearing emotional distress from him, and I knew that's what the lecture were.

"That heart of yours really doesn't know when to quit" I hugged him, it was an apologetic hug.

"I'm sorry I keep stressing you out"

"I caught that" I looked up at him innocently.

"Stop pushing yourself nearly to death and I'll forgive you" I could see his resolve begin to melt as my expression, my large blue eyes probably didn't help.

"I know what I said, and apologized for" did everyone seriously just expect me to leave them? IN TCRI? The lab that turned me into the uncontrollable monster I am today??

"Well. Here's to hoping you can use your other forms for something other than just fighting" Raph brought up.

"Oh. I'm sure you want to use one of those other forms of hers for something else" I gave Ana a warning look, she was just grinning at me.

"Please tell me you didn't tell her" he said so quietly to me. Referencing the first time I took my turtle form. I quickly shook my head, I knew that was super embarrassing for him. There ARE some things I keep from my sister. I heard him sigh with relief.

"Hold up, what?" Ana looked at me with a shit eating grin. I motioned my hand over my throat to tell her to knock it off.

"How did you even find out Don?" Mikey grabbed Ana, giving her a smooch on the cheek.

Don, Ana, and myself froze. Oh crap. That's right. Wow we got way off topic. Where was Leo? He kept everyone focused on the matter at hand.

"Mikey, I.... I don't know how to tell you this..." Donnie took a pausing moment.

"Rasputia is pregnant... It may be yours. But there's a chance its not, too" I know what Donnie was trying to do there. But he just admitted she was cheating when they were dating too and that probably wasn't the best timing.

He winced after he said it, realizing what he had done. I looked up to see Raph's face, he kept everything neutral as he looked at his brother. But he definitely was tense, I felt some muscles tighten in my grip.

Mikey was just staring at Donnie, as if waiting for anything else to come out of his mouth that could even remotely resolve the situation. Ana hugged him tighter when she felt his heart thrum at a deathly fast pace.

Mike didn't seem to be hugging her back, he just continued to stare forward, as if trying to process this. Ana felt the poor turtle begin to quiver.

"Mike?" That was Ana. Her eyes were staring into him, but he wasn't staring back.

"We... we need to get her out of there" he swallowed.

"Ladybug was about to use Alopex to do it" Donnie explained.

"No you cant do that"

"She said she can control her now. It probably would be the safest way" Donnie mentioned.

"Mike. I will never harm a child. No matter the form" I assured. Mikey was on a different plane of existence amongst nightmares, but he nodded at me. I don't think he was fully capable of speaking, just staring at the hatch where he might possibly have a baby.

"Alright Abby. Let's see what you got" Donnie wished he could see this on better terms, of everyone's own accord.

The Brainiac turtle began to set up some restraints on one of the beds, giving them a solid tug to make sure she wouldn't be able to get free.

I walked over to the prisoner pit with Raph, thought fox, skin went paler white, fur began to grow, I began to grow, while also falling to all fours, and then crouched near where the prisoner was. Raph squatted down, my amber eyes were watching him, he was watching me as well, making sure I wasn't about to get aggressive.

"Abby. You in control?" he was looking into my eyes, like he was trying to read my soul. I nodded my large head, even laying down I nearly towered the turtle, my ears went forwards as he started to drag the large slab off of the pit, and open it.

Donnie left her unchained in there, so when she tried to move quickly up and out of the hole I quickly caught her arm between my teeth, careful not to bite down to hard, just hard enough to catch her, hopefully not enough to thrash her either. This was me testing both my mental strength and my restraint.

She was swinging around, and punching me in the neck I was growling, annoyed, but moved to the bed, she was dangling unceremoniously from my jaws, her feet no where near the ground as I traveled with her to her new placement.

She was screaming and shouting and kicking at me, Don laid the restraints out, I flopped her onto the bed, still holding on to her arm, Don was able to use his upper body to get her other arm while Raph strapped that one down. They moved to her kicking feet, repeated the process, and then got to her last free arm.

The restraints had padding on them, so she shouldn't be able to hurt herself, she had dirt all over her, she was getting fed well, but her skin was also pretty pale from not seeing the sun for several months. And sure enough, she had a baby bump, without a doubt she was pregnant.

Donnie probably didn’t see until now because he was just quickly dropping her food down there and not looking. He didn't really need to since her injuries were healed up.

Mike was just staring at her, particularly her belly, he didn't want to get near her, the fear in his eyes at this situation was haunting. Ana was trying to get his attention, assure him it was all going to be ok, but he wasn't biting, it would be a surprise if it was even getting through to him.

"I… I need some time to think" His volume wasn't Mikey volume, I wish there was something any of us could do, but what could you do in this situation? Even Mikey himself had his hands tied.

"We'll be in to check on you later" Donnie said. The orange banded brother didn't say anything to that, and just left the lab, Ana watched him go, I know she was thinking about busting his door down, hugging him and not allowing him to be alone in these trying times. But even she knew he just needed time to come to peace with this.

"Give him one night, that's all" Raph knew it was killing the woman to let him go.

"Alright…. One night" She agreed. It was a very begrudging agreement, but she would honor Mikey's need for space for at least a night

@mysticboombox @thelaundrybitch @selfless1978 @katecupcakekate

If you wanna get tagged lemme know~!

#tmnt #tmnt donatello #tmnt raph #tmnt oc #tmnt mikey #bayverse turtles #tmnt fanfiction

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kaiyves-backup · 9 months

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Everybody Goes to KC’s

Now this is something I’ve never published online before, the unfinished sequel to 6-6 that I started back in my Senior Year of High School. The scenes here were meant to be the lead-in to a story revealing that every book we’d read for class that year were connected by one grand, overarching conspiracy plot, but I never got around to finishing it and at this late date I can’t even remember all of the details I had planned. I dropped the Bad Hemingway style and wrote this in more of my own voice, and kept up the thread of subtle space references. Tell me which ones you can spot! Like I said before, I’m thinking of returning to this setting, so maybe someday we’ll hear Zee tell the rest of what happened that evening at KC’s…

The western sky was still streaked orange with the glow of sunset as I sped down the causeway. The reflection of the sky in the water turned the world around me the same lovely shade. If I hadn’t been driving, I’d have stopped to take a photo. A cooling breeze off the “river” blew into my face as I guided the old sky-blue Vespa over the bridge and down the other side, picking up speed as it went. It was a beautiful little machine, one I kept as well-tended as I could with my limited funds- after all, I felt I owed it to the Professor. Someday he’d be back, and I didn’t want to say I’d failed to maintain his special scooter.

It had been a good day out at sea, mapping and photographing the remnants of a sunken galleon from the 1715 fleet. The new diving gear I’d bought about a month before thanks to Ken Arnold’s lemonade-drunken wager was working like a charm, and the piece I’d written about the experience had won high praise when I’d submitted it to a magazine. Now, after drying off and throwing on my denim jacket, I was looking forward to a cold cranberry lemonade and some sushi at my usual seat near the dock at KC’s.

Some places in town had their lights on as I drove in. The road to KC’s hugged the shore of the tidal estuary that a misguided cartographer in the olden days had mistakenly believed to be a river. There were already a few vehicles in the parking lot-- KC’s was where everybody went in those days. It was popular with the locals, of course, and divers like myself, as well as pilots from the nearby aerospaceports, but between the proximity of so many tourist attractions and the high-stakes air hockey Bob offered, you never knew who was going to show up.

It was a fairly unremarkable restaurant, a one-story building with an enclosed outdoor area behind it that stretched to the water. A somewhat-rickety dock stretched from the outdoor area out into the estuary, where Bob hung a few strings of old Christmas lights that tended to sway in the frequent winds off the sea. As I pulled up, I could make out four figures near the bank of the estuary.

At first, I thought there was nothing unusual about the group, but as I got closer, I saw one of the four punch another. The man who had been punched managed to land an uppercut on the one who had punched him, causing him to fall backwards. But the other two men soon moved in to attack him. I could see that the first man I’d seen get punched was bent over and moving slowly.

I jumped off the Vespa and ran over to help, the gravel crunching under my thick boots. The two attackers seemed too focused on the man they were beating up to hear me approach- at least until I kicked one of them rather hard in the back. He wasn’t expecting it, especially not from someone wearing motorcycling boots.

“This is none of your flamin’ business, buster!” The remaining man shouted, leaping at me.

“Three against one is hardly fair.” I dodged, moving closer to the edge of the water. He recovered and tried to grab me again. Again, I twisted out of reach and moved closer to the water.

Now I had to wait for the right moment… he lunged at me again and I stuck out my leg, tripping him, and sending him into the waters of the estuary, head-first.

Full of adrenaline, I turned back to see what had happened to the man who the three thugs had been attacking. He was leaning on the hood of an older-model Corvette with both hands, and panting heavily. I ran over to him.

“Are you okay, sir?” I asked.

“Thank… god… Blue?” He whispered, turning to look at me. Unsure of what he meant by the last word, I turned towards the building, where the noise of the fight had drawn several people to the door and windows of the restaurant’s outdoor area. I recognized Karol, the tall, muscular man who served as the establishment’s bouncer, and Bob, the restaurant’s owner, among them.

“Karol! Bob! He’s hurt! Three guys were mugging him out here! Help me bring him inside!” I shouted. They both hurried out to help.

Bob and I helped the man stagger into the enclosed outdoor area, letting him put his arms around our shoulders for support. Behind us, Karol shut the door and stood outside of it. While I knew Karol to be in reality very kindhearted, his permanent smirk had intimidated many a would-be-troublemaker at KC’s into good behavior.

Bob was a short man, with a round face, eternally wet-looking brown hair and an extreme dislike of violence and danger. Nervous, his voice took on a higher-than-usual pitch as he issued commands to Roger, the waiter who stood nearby. Roger was fresh-faced, a newly-minted pilot with heavily-gelled dark hair. He owned the gold Corvette the wounded man had been leaning on.

“Help us get him to my office, Roger, and then call the police!” Bob ordered.

Bob had a cot in the office, in which he sometime took catnaps when business was quiet. We helped the man sit down on it. It was only then, in the bright light of the office, that I took the time to examine his appearance.

He was middle-aged, with light brown hair that was white at the temples. There were several bruises on his face, as well as older scars that didn’t seem to be from tonight’s encounter. I wondered how he’d gotten those.

“You’re safe here, Mr-?” Bob asked in a soft voice, before turning to Roger and ordering him to get the poor man some water in a louder one.

“Lindsay.”

“That’s your last name?”

The man nodded.

“Just making sure. I’d never heard of it as a man’s first name before…” He trailed off.

“Zee here saved you from those men. Normally, Karol would have been out there as well, but he came in late tonight because he was giving a ride to some guys he found by the side of the road. Vladimir and something with an E, I think they were called…” Roger said, “Anyway, I’m going to call the police about those thugs-- right now.” He added, leaving the room quickly as he felt Bob’s why-aren’t-you-doing-what-I-asked-yet stare.

“Zee…” Mr. Lindsay said, turning to look at me again. “…thank you.”

“Do you know why they were attacking you?” I asked.

“Because… of… this…” He reached inside his coat to pull something out.

“Don’t try to move yet, sir. You’re badly hurt.” Bob said, reaching out to touch his arm lightly. Mr. Lindsay ignored him and withdrew a small silver medallion shaped like an eye. He placed it in my hand.

I looked it over, turning it this way and that. It was heavy, pure silver, similar to some artifacts I’d seen at the Louvre during my travels with the Professor.

“What is it?” Bob asked. “Looks Egyptian.”

“It looks like an Eye of Horus. Ancient Egyptians wore amulets like this to protect against evil.” I said. “But I don’t know if this is a real one. Silver was incredibly rare for the Egyptians, much rarer than gold. You’ve seen all the gold in King Tut’s tomb? They got tons of gold from the Nubians, but they had so little silver that we don’t even know where they mined it.”

“It’s… real…” Mr. Lindsay whispered.

“Where did you get it?” I asked “From a museum? Or… a tomb?”

“I didn’t… steal it.”

#Zee Leonova #writing

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samuel-de-champagne-problems · 3 years

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Right Where You Left Me

Summary: Y/N never expected to see him again. He tore her heart out and left her in the dusty heat of a Las Vegas diner. She never wanted to see him again, but sometimes the heart wants what heart wants.

Word Count: 3.7k

Author's Note: This is the first prompt that I wrote for 400 followers and it is based on Right Where You Left Me. Some background info: Spencer and Reader (Female pronouns) were lovers when they were 23, Spencer left to join the FBI and Y/N never recovered.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Content Warning: Angst till the very end, one use of f--k, reader cuts her hand on glass so blood is mentioned.

Right Where You Left Me

2009, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada

The bell above the door always sounds the same, no matter who walks into the little diner. Whether it’s exhausted truckers looking for a cheap cup of coffee or lonely souls looking to be a little less lonely for even an hour, the bell’s chime is always the same.

From the first time she met Spencer Reid, Y/N knew that boy was destined for greatness. His greatness is exceptionally painful when it juxtaposes her intense ordinariness. Part of her always dreams of the bell ringing and telling her that he’s back. He’s back and would no longer just haunting her dreams. But he isn’t back. He isn’t back and she’s right where he left her.

Y/N wipes the counter with a worn napkin, noticing how her skin is cracked from her fingertips to the butt of her palms. The bell rings and Y/N picks up her head. An elderly couple walks in holding hands. It’s amazing to her, to be that old and that in love. She wonders what it would be like to have the kind of love that you’ll never run out of things to say. If her past has taught her anything, Y/N tells herself she’s not the kind of girl that gets a lifelong romance. She’s not the kind of girl that gets someone who gets her.

She’s the kind of girl that’s frozen in the place right where he left her.

September 2012, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada

“One of these is not like the other,” Sabrina says in a singsong kind of voice. She walks out from behind the counter, finished with her shift. She wishes Y/N good night before she leaves the diner, telling her to lock up and handle the clean up. The busboy makes his way to the table of men with two kinds of coffee, decaf and regular, in her hands. Y/N follows, rolling her eyes, behind with three coffee mugs.

Apparently, there is a missing child case and the FBI has gotten involved. The two men, dressed intimidatingly in black suits and gray ties, looked very different from the younger man who sat across from them. It only took her a second to recognize that face. It’s the face of all her dreams that at one point was just out of reach. But now it’s just the face of rejection and hurt.

Before she even realizes it, the coffee mug that Y/N holds in her hand drops and shatters on the floor. The men, even vigilant, turn towards the noise. Y/N wanting to disappear into the night, drops to the floor to clean up the glass. She hears a shuffle from the booth and in comes a pair of well-worn converse into her field of vision.

“Here,” he says, his voice just soft and steady as ever, “let me, Y/N,”

Y/N drops the glass like it burns her. But in reality, she’s trying to get as far away as possible from Spencer, because she knows if she touches him again, she’ll never be able to survive letting go.

Spencer.

Spencer Reid crouches down before her just inches from her face all these years later. It seems unbelievable to see him in the flesh, but it’s him, even if he looks a little older and a little sadder.

“Thank you. I’m going to get you a new cup. I remember how much you love coffee,” Y/N whispers, wishing again that she could turn into the wind and disappear.

Y/N tries to ignore the way Spencer’s co-workers eye him when he returns to the seat. Clutching the pieces of glass, Y/N cuts her thumb. The dark red blood rushes out and she can feel her pulse rise. She wraps a white cloth over the cut. By the time she gets to Spencer’s table, the blood has pooled to the surface. She places the cups on the table, turning to leave, but a strong, yet gentle hand grasps her elbow.

“You’re bleeding?” Spencer says, his voice ends on a high note like he’s asking her more than telling her.

“Yeah, it’s fine Spencer. I’ll take care of it later, it’s just-”

“Let me help you,” he says, the two men, his co-workers, share a thoughtful glance. Y/N has the sneaking suspicion that they can read her mind or very much close to it.

She narrows her eyes at Spencer as her thumb pulsates and the blood soaked napkin grows even more red.

“Last time I checked you’re not a real doctor,” Y/N says, the venom in her voice all too apparent. The man sitting across from Spencer with the kinder eyes puts his hands up in defeat.

“What the hell is going on here? Do you know her or something, Spencer?” he says, his confusion about who Y/N is growing into frustration by the second. The man sitting next to the man with the kind eyes doesn’t say much. Y/N expects that he’s soaking in the entire interaction or is too tired to care about his co-worker’s personal drama.

“Huh, you didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell you FBI friends about me, Spencer? Huh, can I say that I’m not surprised by that at all,” Y/N responds, fumbling with managing to pour the coffee and covering her cut with the napkin.

“Please, Y/N you’re being ridiculous, let me help you,” Spencer asks or rather, begs Y/N. Y/N tries to not let him know how much it affects her when he rubs his thumb on the crook of her elbow.

“Fine, make it quick Spencer, I’m closing up tonight and I want to get home soon,” Y/N says, walking away from the table before Spencer can even get the chance to get up from the booth.

Y/N is too far past the booth to hear Spencer whisper to his co-workers that he’ll find his own way back to the hotel. She runs her thumb under the running water, watching as the blood clears up, revealing her clean finger. Y/N can feel Spencer’s looming presence behind her. She can smell his cologne and thinks if he cans any closer she’d be able to feel his body heat.

“You’re not supposed to be back here, Spencer,” Y/N says, she knows she’s being short and clippy with Spencer, but she supposes that should be expected, considering how he left her all those years ago.

“That never stopped me, or you for that matter before,” Spencer says, taking a step forward. His hand comes up to gently hold Y/N’s. She can feel his fingertips on her skin for the first time in years. Y/N has to close her eyes to focus on anything but how close Spencer’s body is to her’s. It’s restraint in it’s finest.

“Things have changed, Spencer. People have changed,” Y/N says, she doesn’t make a move that tells Spencer she doesn’t like him touching her. Spencer, whose hands have a slight tremor as they hold Y/N’s, practices an equal amount of restraint as Y/N does. He has to stop the thoughts of what it would be like to feel his hand against her hand again or how she’d sound if he could muster up the courage to kiss her again. He can’t even think of the first place he’d want to kiss her if he had the chance again.

“I’ve changed, Y/N, I’ve changed,” Spencer says, knowing fully that he’s pleading with the girl whose heart he broke 7 years ago.

“I have a hard time believing that one, Spencer. You were always the exception to the rule, whether you liked it or not,” she tells him. Her voice has lost all venom. It’s bare to the world without any weapons to wield.

“Let me fix you up and I’ll be out of your life again,” He says, still holding on to her wrist, still holding on to hope.

Y/N nods and tells him where he can find the first aid kit. She watches as he reaches up to the top shelf and carefully places the kit on the counter. Y/N holds out her hand as Spencer takes an alcohol wipe to her wound. He grimaces more than she does, afraid that somehow, all these years later, he’s still causing her pain. What he doesn’t know is that his touch stings more than the strongest rubbing alcohol in existence.

“So,” Spencer starts, hating that there’s silence between the two of them, when a decade ago that would have been impossible, “how’ve you been?”

“I’m good, Spence, I’ve been good. All I ever wanted was a quiet life, and I guess that’s what I got,” Y/N says, Spencer knows her answer is cordial. It's an answer that you give when you really don’t want to give an answer.

“That’s good, Y/N. I’m happy for you,” Spencer says, he doesn’t realize that he’s been rubbing his thumb against Y/N palm until she reaches into the first aid kit and tosses a band-aid at him. Spencer blushes slightly, but thinks that he’s not offending her too much since he’s still at the diner.

“What about you, Spence? Did you ever find uh….someone that could…” Y/N says, her voice trailing off, too afraid to finish the sentence herself, but aware that Spencer is probably the only person on Earth that could fill in the blanks. He was always good like that, he could always fill in her blanks and make sense of her senseless.

“Find someone, like a wife?” Spencer asks, the blush returning to his cheeks, “no, Y/N I’m not married. Are..are you? Do you have, um, a husband?” Spencer asks, hating the way that he stumbles over the word “husband” like it’s a dirty word. Though he supposes that it is a dirty word when Y/N’s husband is not synonymous with Spencer Reid.

“God no, Spence. I couldn’t not after, you know,” Y/N says, again letting Spencer fill in the blanks and hoping beyond belief that he’d pick up the pieces too. Spencer looks over at where his co-workers sat when they were working, he can't say he’s disappointed to see that they are gone.

“I never really apologized for what I said to you, Y/N. I know that I’ll never make it up to you, but..”

“It’s okay, Spencer. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, I’m just a waitress. And you, god. You are you. How could I ever think that I’d get a happily ever after with someone like you,” Y/N says, brushing past Spencer to collect the coffee mugs from the table.

“Please Y/N don’t believe that for a second,” Spencer says, his voice full of pain and regret.

Y/N thinks about the times that she would dream of seeing him again. She can’t remember if she’d rather him to be sorry or if she'd rather him rush back to her and sweep her off her feet again with a love confession that rivals the greatest stories ever told. But then again, waitresses don’t get knights in shining armor. Especially when those knights wear sweater vests, despite being in law enforcement. Spencer always loved facts, and he told it to her in a few more words than necessary, people like Spencer Reid don’t end up with people like Y/N Y/LN.

“You still think too highly of me, even after I hurt you, I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you,” Spencer says, hanging his head low. His hair, that’s grown much longer, falls into place over his eyes, as if it’s shielding Spencer from Y/N.

“Did you come here tonight thinking I’d be here? Did a part of you still want to see me?” Y/N asks, she wants to reach out and touch Spencer’s hand, she wants to reach out and feel that his hand is still the same hand that would caress her face and make all her worries vanish. But it’s hard when that hand is attached to the man who destroyed you.

“I didn’t think you’d still work here, Y/N. You always hated living in the desert. Remember how we talked of getting a place somewhere cold where you can see the snow, but still be warm-”

“And safe inside? Yeah, Spencer, I remember that. But that was our dream, how can I still want that when it’s tainted by you,” Y/N spits, walking towards the last booth in the row. She plops down, sinking into the plastic covered cushion. Spencer, nervously, sits down next to her. He doesn’t say anything, knowing how Y/N’s bated breath and tapping foot tell him she’s going to unleash 7 years of pent of hatred and frustration. And somehow, 7 years of desire and want and love.

“I lied Spencer,” Y/N says, looking down at the table. “I lied. I hate it here, you’re right. God, why are you always right?” She smiles wickedly and Spencer has to tell himself to not give way to his emotions. He needs to let Y/N finally release her justified anger onto him.

“You moved on, Spencer. You moved on and I’m right where you left me,” Y/N’s strained voice is perhaps noise that Spencer knows will haunt his nightmares, “It’s like I’m a ghost of that girl I was when I was 23, waiting for someone who’s moved on. Waiting for you, but god, no one wants to love someone so fucking pathetic,”

Spencer wants to react, he wants to reach out a kiss away Y/N tears that fall down her cheeks. He wants to make her pain go away, but how can he when he’s her pain. Spencer knew he never wanted to end up like his father, yet sitting in that corner booth watching Y/N cry, Spencer realizes he’s his father’s son. Spencer realizes that he ran away from the best thing that ever happened to him, when thought he got a better opportunity.

“I never moved on Y/N,” Spencer says, reaching down inside himself for the courage to tenderly hold Y/N’s hands in his own. Even all these years later, her hand still feels the same inside his.

“I’ve thought about you every single day of my life. It’s a curse, Y/N, not being able to forget how much I hurt you. As much as I try, I’ll never be able to erase the look on your face when I told you--”

“When you told me I wasn’t good enough,” Y/N finished for him. It looks like she can fill in his blanks as well as he can fill in her’s.

“I didn’t mean it, Y/N. I didn’t mean it and I know that you’ll never look at me the same way, but I’ve never stopped loving you, Y/N. I’ll never stop loving you,” Spencer says, he’s sobbing at this point. The tears trail down his face and his skin in blotchy red.

“Spencer,” Y/N says quietly, like she’s trying to control the mix of passion and fury that threatens to take control of her, “I need to get this out without interruptions, so just please listen to me,”

Spencer nods and tries his best to not react when Y/N reaches down to his lap and takes her hands into his. He tries to hold in the emotions that split seems in his not-so tough exterior.

“I created a fantasy for you Spencer. I gave you the life that I could never give you. In my head you had kids because I needed you to be deliriously happy. I gave you a wife and I hated her because I love you too much to hate you. I needed you to have the life that I couldn’t give you, because it beats thinking you’re a mess. It beats thinking you ended up like me,” Y/N professes.

Spencer brings his hands up to her cheeks wiping away the tears that fall rapidly. Even the time he was kidnapped, the countless of times he was beaten or held hostage, his heart never ached quite like this. His heart never yearned to soothe someone’s pain as it did when Spencer watched Y/N come to terms with the years and years of heartbreak Spencer left her in.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Spencer says, his fingers lacing through Y/N’s pinned up hair, “I hated myself for years for doing what I did to you. I knew that there was no one else, there’s no one else for me, Y/N,”

Y/N’s cheek presses up against Spencer’s chest, his warm body is home and is spicy, yet sweet cologne the closest thing to paradise. She tries to get control over her breathing, trying to steady it and not slobber too much over Spencer’s soft shirt. His hands anchor her to him. They latch on to her elbows, begging her silently to not shove him off and kick him to the curb, even though it’s what he deserves.

“Oh god Spencer. You really still are my Spencer, aren’t you?” Y/N asks, her voice slightly muffled by Spencer’s chest. She can hear his heart beat, even now, it’s still in sync with her heart beat. After all these years, between all these miles, throughout all this pain, Y/N’s heart still beats for Spencer’s.

“I don’t wanna lose you again, Y/N,” Spencer says, the tears back on his face, some have dried slightly and new ones make their way down and pool onto the back of Y/N’s head. Spencer brushes his fingers against Y/N, making sure that he’s actually holding her in his arms in this little diner he thought he’d left in the past.

“Please don’t hurt me again, Spencer. I love you too much to lose you again, but I can’t get hurt like that. I can’t bear to do that again,” Y/N says, raising her head to look at Spencer in the eyes.

She can see the glistening tears that fall down his face and the way his gaze softens when his eyes latch on to her. They could spend hours drinking each other in, making up for the lost years. She searches his face, finding new age lines and wrinkles, and maybe even a gray hair or two. But underneath all that, he’s still Spencer.

“I though our love was dead, Spencer. I thought I had my chance real young and the rest of my life was going to be spent haunting this booth, waiting for a man that in my delusions was married to a wife that wasn’t me and with kids that aren’t mine. But good God, Spencer, you really are too much sometimes?” Y/N says, her voice breathy and exasperated as she leans in close to Spencer.

“Can I take that as a yes?” Spencer says, terrified for her answer, even though he knew it already, based on how deeply Y/N looks into his eyes.

Y/N is quiet, and even though it’s just a moment it feels like forever. They are so quiet that all they can hear is their heartbeats. The little diner where their fateful love story took flight is never quiet, yet in that moment you can hear a hair pin drop. Spencer counts the seconds that pass, reading Y/N’s eyes, reading her emotion, and praying to a God he’s not sure is real that she’s not going to leave him this time.

“Yes, Spencer. I love you too much to let you walk out here again,” Y/N says, leaning into Spencer’s face.

She bridges the gap that they’ve both been ignoring since they realized they were in each other’s company again. Spencer is still when she leans in, he doesn’t realize until her soft lips kiss him how much he’s missed her. Before his mind is able to run off the far away places called doubt and denial, Y/N wraps her arms around Spencer’s neck, hooking him in closer. Having each other so close has never made them feel so utterly helpless and giddy. Spencer feels like he needs to tether himself to Y/N’s because he still feels like she’s going to float away. The world was dizzying and Spencer was the only solid, strong thing, holding her to Earth. Y/N always knew he was her anchor, it was just a matter of time before Spencer realized it too. Spencer’s quiet whimpers and shaky tremors spurred her on, kissing up and down the openness of his face until she felt the need for air.

“You’ve been practicing? You’re better at this than when you were 23,” Y/N says, not wanting to let go of Spencer’s neck.

“No, God no, Y/N. I haven’t been with anyone since you,” Spencer says, slightly ashamed to be reminded of his deepest mistake.

“Spencer, baby, you know I forgive you, right? And considering you kiss like that now, I know how you can make it up to me,” Y/N says, planting a couple light, feathery kisses up Spencer’s neck and to the corners of his mouth. Her lips are like a paintbrush on his, turning the grimace he holds into a winning smile. He remembers that it’s near impossible for him to not be flustered near Y/N. He’s glad, even now, that still rings true.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Spencer says, he leans his forehead against Y/N’s and lifts her hands to his mouth, kissing each of her fingers as he says “you are enough, and I’ll hope you’ll let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you,”

Y/N kisses Spencer on the nose as he scrunches it, causing her to laugh. She slips out of the booth and holds a hand out for Spencer to grasp. He takes it without hesitation and pulls her in closer. She supposes that after being apart for so long, it would take some time to get back into their rhythm. Y/N knows that it will never be the same; they aren’t 23 years old anymore. They’re scared and wounded, but together, Y/N thinks that they’ll never run out of things to talk about even if they are old and gray and wrinkled.

THANK-YOU FOR READING :) <3 <3

I really appreciate every like, comment, and reblog. It helps me know what people like about my writing things I should work on.

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batmayne · 3 years

Text

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 “𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘” 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒 - fluff alphabet by @snk-warriors

featured song: Hide by Juice Wrld and Seezyn

warnings: small mentions of angst

authors note: this was written before tfatws (aka before I knew bucky’s personality) so I apologize for any inconsistencies and or if he’s ooc.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 - what do they like to do with their significant other? how do they spend their free time with them?

Since Bucky’s only available time to spend with you would most likely just be time he had off in between missions (unless you were an avenger yourself), most of your time spent together would be spent relaxing. If you do happen to not be an Avenger or maybe live out of New York (kind of like Laura Barton) he would more inclined to spend time at your house instead of his own. You are his solace away from all of the peril and endangerment that comes with his everyday occupation from saving the world from various threats - anytime spent with you is enough to make him happy. Activities wise I believe that he would enjoy simple things like taking your dog for a walk in the park, visiting a local museum or even just going to a family owned diner to grab milkshakes. Time not spent out would most likely be spent indoors reading or watching movies.

𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 - what do they admire about their significant other? what do they think is beautiful about them?

I can’t imagine that things like appearance, weight and height mean a whole lot to him, your personality is what really drew him in. He was initially attracted to your kindness and patience, because just befriending someone with the amount of baggage that his past holds is no easy feat. Unlike others, you didn’t treat him like a monster because of what HYDRA had forced him to do for the past 70 years of brainwashing. He admires you for taking the time to understand him when no one else did, especially after Steve went back in time to be with Peggy. He and Sam had become close of course but it couldn’t compare to what he had with you.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 - how would they help their significant other when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He knows all to well what it means it be “feeling down” or having troubles mentally so he would be very understanding about it. If you a working or have some sort of occupation he would encourage you to probably take some time off to recover and if he was able he would take a break as well so you wouldn’t be alone. If it was more serious he would want you to go get help, because that is what you have done for him in the past.

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 - how do they picture their future with their significant other?

As mentioned earlier, I think that seeing what happened to Steve after he decided to spend his life with Peggy and have children of his own really would have struck a chord with him. Once he came out of HYDRA’s possession I think he may have thought that a chance at having a different life with a significant other and even children would be near impossible - but after he met you he was willing to give that fantasy a second try. I think he would be over the moon with eventually marrying you when things calm down some (he wouldn’t want to put you in danger if some enemy was targeting him) and having a child or two (if you wanted). Overall I think he just just craves for a simple and peaceful life with you, without having to worry about the dangers of his job or the outside world.

𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋 - are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?

The both of you are definitely equals in this relationship, in every aspect. I have to mention though, some of that 40’s gentleman may come out at times where he likes to hold the door open for you or help you out of the car. But he would only do this if you were comfortable with it of course, if it bothered you or got on your nerves in any way he would definitely stop - no questions asked.

𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 - would they be easy to forgive their significant other? how are they fighting?

There may be more arguments in the beginning of the relationship because he hasn’t been in one in so long, and the majority of them center around either him not wanting to hurt you on accident (I imagine that he is still uncomfortable with his arm) or pushing you away. Eventually after he gets more comfortable around you the fights will lessen, but when they do occur you just give eachother plenty of space before reconciling and trying to work things out. One thing he will not do is leave for a mission without making up with you - if something happened and your relationship was left on a bad note he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐄 - how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their significant other is doing for them?

Bucky is beyond grateful that you are with him and he would reassure you about it constantly. Befriending him alone is a huge task in itself, not everyone has the patience to even do something as simple as that. Taking the time to get to know and understand why he is the way he is without judging him for it is something that he will be forever greatfull for.

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 - do they hide secrets from their significant other? or do they share everything?

As much as he would want to shelter his ominous and dark past from you he knew that wouldn’t be possible with him being a wanted criminal several years ago - he wasn’t exactly famous be he was definitely well known (unfortunately not for the better parts of his life). It would take him some time for him to open up about everything he has gone through, but after some time he will open up about it. It’s nothing against you personally, he just fears that once you know everything you’ll run away from him (which wou wouldn’t of course). He just needs some time.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - did their significant other change them somehow or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome problems?

Your relationship has had quite the positive effect on him since the start, and it’s something that his friends would immediately take notice of. Of course you couldn’t solve and help with everything that HYDRA has put him through, but just having you around has done tremendous things for his mood. When Sam notices that he hasn’t said “I hate you” to him in the past week, he knew that something was up.

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

I think Bucky would be more protective than jealous, but not in a creepy or possessive sense if you get what I am saying? He wouldn’t mind if you spent a lot of time hanging out with friends or anything like that, but if he feels like someone is making you uncomfortable he wouldn’t hesitate to place a reassuring hand around your waist so they’ll back off.

𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - are they a good kisser? how was their first kiss? and 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - how did they confess to their significant other?

He isn’t particular with his kisses in my opinion, as long as they aren’t too sloppy and there aren’t many people around (I’ll discuss this more in the PDA section). I head canon that he really likes giving and receiving cheek and forehead kisses - but he will repeatedly deny it if you mention it to anyone else. (Your first kiss and love confession happened at the same time so I wrote a little Drabble about it below eugh)

Your first kiss took place when you were bordering the fine line between friends and something more. Bucky was taking some time off after a particularly rough mission and you gave him a place to stay away from all of the action. Finding him outside relaxing on a bench not too far from your house/apartment, you joined him and sat in a peaceful silence for a few minutes.

“Hey [Your Name]?” He spoke tentatively, distracting you from picking at the fraying end of your shorts.

“What’s up?” You questioned in turn, raising an eyebrow. Your breath hitched when you felt the coolness of his metal hand gently grab one of yours, and his human one placed itself on top.

“I just want to say thank you.”

“Bucky, you know you’re welcome to stay here anytime you need to-“

“That’s not what I meant.” He cut you off immediately, his voice wavering slightly. “I mean thank you, for accepting me, and not judging me for my past.”

“Of course.” You chirped back, maybe a little too fast.

It sounds cheesy but it did feel as if something was drawing your faces closer, and you eventually placed your free hand on his cheek as if saying a silent “yes”. When his lips finally pressed upon your own you felt an eruption of butterflies fly around your stomach, especially after you felt his arm glide around to your back. Once he pulled away it was hard to keep the smiles plastered off of both of your faces.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 - do they want to get married? how would they propose to their significant other?

Marriage wasn’t one of the things he thought that he would be able to enjoy when he was rescued from HYDRA, but I believe after he began his relationship with you he would most likely change his mind. Within the first few months of dating he already knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you so why not go ahead and tie the knot? He’d probably wait around a year to ensure that you felt the same before popping the question. I don’t get the “proposing in front of a large crowd of people vibe” from him so I’d probably say he would propose at an at home dinner where it was just the two of you. Most likely on a holiday such as Valentine’s Day or someday that was meaningful for the both of you (like the day you met or when you officially started dating).

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 - what do they call their significant other?

Other than your name, Dollface or Doll.

𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 - what are they like in love? is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily call him a simp - because that would be disrespectful, but. Other than being reunited with his childhood best friend Steve, you are the best thing that has happened to him. Of course you couldn’t possibly solve all of his problems and erase everything horrible that has happened to him but you sure do help a lot. Sam notices that he is in noticeably brighter spirits and he is also experiencing less nightmares. When a particular mission gets rough or difficult the only thing keeping him going is knowing that you are at home waiting for him.

𝐏𝐃𝐀 - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their significant other in front of others? or are they shy to kiss etc. with other people around?

Similar to Steve, I reckon that he wouldn’t be comfortable with public displays of affection because of the era he was raised in, where it was more frowned upon. Another thing to remember is that even though his name has been cleared he was a wanted criminal for quite some time, so I imagine he is already somewhat self conscious about being in public already. Additionally, the nature of his job caused him to already be a wanted target for many dangerous people, and he wants to keep you away from that by keeping you a secret from the public. This isn’t to say that he would be opposed to hand holding or subtle things such as that, just nothing that what be too attention grabbing from other people.

𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊 - what random ability do they have that’s beneficial in the relationship?

As kind as he is once you get to know him personally - there is no denying that he can be quite intimidating, even without the vibranium arm. Though not intentional. Being with him is like having your own personal bodyguard around you at all times. Normally, you wouldn’t even have to worry about the potential unwanted admirer because his presence would scare them off before they even attempted to say anything.

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 - how romantic are they? What would they do to make their significant other happy?

I cannot emphasize this enough, he is the perfect gentleman. Since he is unfortunately gone so often (saving the world and all), I theorize that his love language might be Recieving Gifts. They may not be extravagant or expensive but they’re things he thought you would like from the various locations that he’s visitied for missions. As far as making you happy he’ll do just about anything (within reason of course). Take watching movies for example, there may be a particular genre or type of film he isn’t interested in, but if you want to watch it he’ll oblige because he knows you would do the same for him. Another thing is when he is at home and not busy with missions, he ensures that all of his free time is spent with you.

𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 - are they helping their significant other achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

He may not right off understand everything you want to achieve and why, but he would certainly do everything he can to help you achieve in them. Like I said, he might not actually understand entirely all of your goals, but he will be supportive regardless.

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐋 - do they need to try out new things to spice out their relationship? or do they prefer a specific routine?

Having been basically shut out from the world for the past 70 years, there is a plethora of things that Bucky has not seen yet or tried. Each date you have could mean trying something new, so things rarely ever get boring for with of you. While he doesn’t mind keeping a routine like getting dinner every Friday, its nearly impossible with what he does for a living.

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 - how much do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

As you do with him, he knows you like the back of his hand. Even though he may not have known you throughout your entire life, I would say knows you on a closer level than most of your friends and relatives (which the exception of your parents and closest friends depending on your on your relationship with them). As stated earlier, he might not understand everything that you might go through but he will surely be empathetic to all of your struggles - as you are with his own.

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐄 - how important is the relationship to them? what is it’s in it’s comparison to their things in their life?

Your relationship is by far the best thing that has ever happened to him so if something were to happen to it he would certainly be broken up over it, as would you. A lot of your relationship was founded on helping eachother through difficult times going on in both of your lives so the relationship ending would be quite problematic for the both of you. In comparison to other things that are in his life you are most definitely at the very top of that list.

𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 - a random fluff head canon.

He refuses to let you tie your own shoes when they come loose. It was a subtle thing you noticed even at the beginning of your friendship. One of your laces would come untied and he’d keep insisting that you tie them so you wouldn’t fall and get hurt - until he eventually would just do it himself. It was a subtle gesture but still enough to make you swoon a bit at the kindness of it.

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 - are they affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He is indeed affectionate, as long as you are alone and no other people are around. Having said this I feel like having a significant other who is constantly cuddling him might make him uncomfortable, so someone more low key and less touchy would be his vibe. Bucky has spent a lot of his life alone and in isolation, so it would definitely be something that he would get used to at the beginning of your relationship. This doesn’t mean he wont cuddle at all though, he just may not be into it as much as others.

𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - how will they cope when they are missing their partner?

An unfortunate side effect of dating a superhero is that they’ll be away on missions quite often - you and Bucky’s relationship was no stranger to that. I’d imagine that he would attempt to call and text as much as he could, but of course the majority of the time he would be unavailable. To cope with missing you, he would probably end up talking about it to Sam after a lot of coaxing. While it would indeed help some, what actually kept him going was as I said earlier: knowing that you were at home safe and waiting for him to get back.

𝐙𝐄𝐀𝐋 - what lengths are they will to go for the relationship? if so what kind of lengths?

As I have stated numerous times your relationship is what keeps him going everyday, it’s what wakes him up in the morning. You are the single most important person in his life and always will be. He would do anything within his power to ensure your safety (within the parameters of reason of course). But in general he would do about anything for your relationship.

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wangxianficrecs · 3 years

Photo

Fic Finder

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1. Hi, I'm looking for an Untamed fic, maybe you'll be able to help. It's a canon divergence AU in which WWX doesn't lose his core, Jiang Fengmian lives and it's implied that his core was transferred to JC (heavily implied; JFM retires as the Sect Leader after that). This is absolutely not the most important part of this fic but it's a paragraph that I've got stuck in my head and now I'm searching for the rest @_@ Thanks in advance! ~ @otemporaetmores

FOUND! by @notsobabblespace, who was reminded of I’m aching and I know you are too by edenwolfie (part 3 in series, M, 23k, wangxian)

FOUND! by @jim-is-spocks-thyla, who suggests ❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian) [ETA: Oops, not this one. JFM has no core, but he didn’t give it to JC]

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2. Hi Mojo! I’m in need of you/your followers help in finding a fic that I read a little while ago. It was a fic where Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi lived together in Cloud Recesses and their children were Sizhui and an OOC that was younger than him. I remember SiZhui faced a lot of criticism for not being the chief cultivator’s real child? And they were happy he had a younger sibling that would be sect leader in the future because he was blood. Come to think of it, this is probably an ABO fic too. Thanks for your time 💜

FOUND! @andidontmeanto believes this is Blue Blood by PotterheadAvengerDemigod (T, 91k, wangxian, my post)

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3. Aksks it's like 3 am but I just remembered a fic and I can't find it?? I'd really, really appreciate your help. It was a wangxian fic, maybe a oneshot idk, and lwj was kind of a nerd and wwx a badboy? So basically lwj has a massive crush on him and dresses up like wwx etc. (i think he even got an undercut) and after a party they sleep with each other at lwj's place?

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4. i’m looking for a fic set in the where lwj’s mother killed his father? i don’t think that was a main plot point but it did show up in his backstory - any idea what this might be? ~ @thehype

FOUND! @rentslirott thinks this could be ❤️the best of you by sysrae (E, 42k, wangxian, my post)

FOUND! @castaways-logbook offers The Right to Care by travelingneuritis (E, 39k, wangxian, WIP)

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5. ... same as #6 ...

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6. Hello friend, sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to see if you could please find me a fic that I lost but I only remember more or less the final part, it goes more or less like this, lan zhan and wei ying are kidnapped by jin guangyao and lock them up if not I'm wrong in some cells next to lan xichen after the fights jin guangyao dies but lan xichen did know how bad jin guangyao had done and he didn't care and then to get revenge he wants to kill wei ying but lan zhan kills him and sizhui gets scared It was more or less like that, please help me ~ @isa0123lol

FOUND! by @wangxiansfics who says that tragically it’s no longer available, but @dulachodladh found it on WaybackMachine here: Thread and Needle by haysel (M, 86k, wangxian)

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7. Hi, Mojo! I'm glad that you're back but I hope you enjoyed your time off tumblr! Can you and/or your followers help me find a fic? I think the summary was talking about wwx and somehow they were asking mingjue for help since he's the only one who can help. The summary was in italics and it's a dialogue from some guy? And a shorter summary below. Sadly this is the only thing I can remember but I hope you can still help me

FOUND! @alwayswenning suggests love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, has it’s own fanfic here, I just finished this last night!, my bookmark)

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8. Sorry to bombard you as soon as you're back, but this one's driving me crazy--a modern AU where they met online. WWX thinks LWJ is an old man from how he talks. I don't remember much except the excerpt made it seem like he still was amused by/enjoyed talking to him, and Wen Qing was telling him it was a bad idea and to stop. It's not How to Fall In Love With a Catfish, tho that one is brilliant! (Also any top notch identity porn would be great) Hope your break was restful, you deserve it! Thanks

Here’s my #identity porn tag, but I’m not sure about this exact story.

I'm the anon for #8 on the fic finder. Though I'm excited to read it, the suggested fic isn't the one I was looking for. I swear I thought I saw it on here around a month ago or slightly more, but searches have failed me.

FOUND! Rating: General Audiences by Mishaa (T, 18k, wangxian WIP) - mysterious author LWJ (speculated to be an old man because of his formality) and infamous artist WWX paired up for an Untamed Big Bang (in an AU where JGY was the series’ antiheroic protagonist; this fic was written before the release of CQL.)

FOUND? could you be looking for Something Real by Latios (G, 5k, wangxian, my post) - wwx thinks lwj is an old man, but there’s no WQ. There are many pictures of bunnies.

SIMILAR! @emilysidhe thought of ID Bro Saga by Bowandtie (T, 39k, wangxian)

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9. Hey, how are you? Could you help me please? I've read 3 fanfics once, but I can't find them anymore. 1 - Nanny Problem, Wei is going to be the babysitter of A-Yuan, he is an omega and Lan is an alpha. 2 - Doctor Perfect, Yibo is an omega nurse and Xiao is an alpha doctor. 3 - The Baby of my Omega, Yibo is omega and Xiao is alpha, both of them are bodyguards, but Yibo has to protect Xiao in the beginning. I think they were at ao3, but I really can't find them. Can you help me please? Thank you!! ~ @weallmad

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10. Hi! Im happy you’re back. I hope you had a good break. I missed your recommendations, but at the same time i got a break from fics and actually studied to my tests haha. [Ah! I’m glad to hear your time was spent productively!] I’m looking for a fic like Linger in the Sun by etymologyplayground. In the fic im looking for wangxian slowly lose their senses instead of all of them at once. Like they lose their hearing, then touch, sight etc, They can’t see each other or hear each other. I’m sorry i can’t explain very well.

FOUND? Could you be thinking of ❤️shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 25k, wangxian)? Only lwj losese his senses one by one in this one, though.

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11. heyyy im trying to find this fic where wwx died the first time he was thrown in to the burial mounds then 10 years later he gets resurrected or something. I can't find it on AO3 and it's been bugging me for days. Thank you!

FOUND! Well, @moku-youbi offers both of these as possibilities:

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 100k, wangxian)

we're starting at the end by Miss_Enthusiasimal (M, 95k, wangxian)

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12. Hi I am looking for a fic where wwx is a witch (/mage?) in a world where magic is being persecuted (especially in Gusu) except for Yunmeng/Lanling I think but they're still frowned upon nonetheless. Then after accidentally hurting Shijie, wwx runs away, and ends up hiding in Gusu pretending to be a servant to lwj (lwj is a prince, lxc is the emperor) but lwj actually knows of his identity and tries not-so-discreetly to protect him from being caught. Thanks!

FOUND! by @bibliobasilisk who gives us Witchfinder by misbehavingvigilante (E, 86k, wangxian)

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13. Hi! Firstly, I'm glad to see you're back, and I hope your break was a good one! I'm trying to find a LWJ/WWX story that I had planned to read and ending up losing before I could. It was set in the immediate aftermath of the 33 lashes, LWJ is in the Jingshi recovering when a healer(?) discovers he's pregnant (by WWX). It may have been a/b/o verse, but I'm not 100% on that. Part of the story was a flashback to when WWX was still alive. Thank you!

FOUND! by nonny themself. It’s Unexpected Surprise by Glucose_Gremlin (E, 4k, wangxian)

SIMILAR! @mondelgel suggests my heart is kept as pure as ice in a jade vase/一片冰心在玉壶 by Daledesu (M, 21k, wangxian, WIP)

SIMILAR! from @impending-cuttlefish: something new, something white, something blue by ariskamalt (E, 140k, wangxian, WIP)

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14. I'm trying to find this one fic where Jin Ling finds this diary that Wei Ying wrote as the Yiling Patriarch that basically reveals everything, including the golden core reveal and it even has training tips that helps Jon Ling improve. When Wei Ying comes back, he tries everything to keep him there because he is THE best uncle now. I need to find it because it is a N E E D.

FOUND? by @theladypeartree who says, “The Truth (Untold) is jl reading jyl's journals, not wwx's though. And mordant is jl returning wwx's journals that he found, not grew up with. Neither fit #14 properly, but I seriously could not find anything closer after two solid days of searching. Good luck!“

The Truth (Untold) by anxiouswreck0_0 (g, 3k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian)

or this one on ffn:

mordant by tennisnotensai (M, 18k, wangxian, here’s the link for mobile)

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15. I have heard tell of a Sizhui/Jingyi fic where the boys end up going to Wangxian for advice about how to be intimate. Can you help me find it?

FOUND! @manaika-chan says this one is On Advisement by LaMachina17 (M, 19k, wangxian, zhuiling, chengyi)

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16. nm

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17. Hi! Sorry, do you happen to know that nsfw fic where wwx is still studying in the cloud recesses and he’s reading a novel (im not sure if it was from nhs) that features a cultivator couple and there’s a scene in the book where the woman was pegging her husband? Basically wwx got curious about this and tried fingering himself. I remember he was hiding in the back mountains and then lwj eventually caught him

FOUND? Could you be thinking of Deep in the Woods by malkinmalkout (E, 5k, wangxian, my post)?

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18. Ahhh I'm going crazy trying to think of a fic that I've read where Lan Zhan killed Wen Chao in a locker room and nie huaisang stood guard outside the door! Then lan zhan went to lan huan and said I killed someone and he said did they deserve it? Then it's fine. And I can't remember the name of the fic! Have you heard of it? ~ @uchihaautumn

FOUND! @artemisisdiana offers So Full Of Love (Wouldn't Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 54k, wangxian, WIP)

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19. Hi, I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. I read it a while ago and I don't really remember all the details but it was a modern au where Lan Wangji was a police officer in this small town and Wei Wuxian comes back after years, having left the town due to some stuff. Thank you in advance.

Btw love your blog. I live for your fic recs. [Thank you!]

FOUND? Could you be looking for medium blues by dark_and_terrible (E,193k, wangxian)? It appears to be taken down atm, but it might come back (it’s done it before).

FOUND! by @grannyweatherwaxshat who offers When a Bird Flies, It Leaves Feathers by Bem_Kofi (not rated, 75k, wangxian)

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20. Hi mojo!! First of all I luv your blog Thank you so much for all those ficrecs. [You’re welcome!] Actually I’m looking for a fic I read months ago. I probably found the fic from your blog. But I can’t seem to find it now 😢 it was a modern au wangxian fic (inspired by call me by ur name?) wwx was like 5 years older than lwj. (And lwj was like 16?) Wwx lives in another city but he spent around a year in cloud recesses with lwj in the past. And wwx yanli and jc visits cloud recesses again and wangxian gets 2gether

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian fic finder #wangxian #mdzs fic finder #wangxian fic rec

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custardcrazy · 3 years

Text

Newt x Reader: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 2)

A/N: HERE IT IS!! PART 2!! i honestly don’t like this one as much as the first one but here you go anyway!!

dunno if i have the motivation rn to make a part 3 but we’ll see

warnings: nothing really, i tried my best to write a reunion

i strongly recommend you read part 1 if you haven’t read it yet!

——

Iris

Quite a few years had passed since the day that you had left.

You'd grown up. Finished your (Muggle- or as they called them here, No-Maj) education in America. Opened up a small flower shop in New York City with the funds that you had scraped together after your mother passed away, and with the help of your aunt.

You could say that you were happy. And yeah, you were. You actually had friends now, and you had met some really nice people. But sometimes you wondered if you were really living the life that you wanted to.

There were still people you missed, after all.

It was a dreary spring day, and you were waiting for customers at the counter, checking the clock now and then. You were looking forward to your lunch break.

Suddenly, the door at the front opened, the bell ringing cheerily in greeting to the man who stepped in.

He was attractive, really. Tall and a touch lanky. Messed-up brown hair, with eyes that had a sort of twinkle in them. He was wearing an outfit that suited him well, and was carrying a beat-up leather case.

And- you couldn't quite put your finger on it, but he seemed.. familiar, somehow.

The man approached the counter, giving you a small nod in greeting, and you smiled at him.

"Hello, may I help you?"

"Erm.. ye-yes, can you.. can you tell me what flowers are appropriate to give to a woman?" He seemed to be having a hard time meeting your gaze, and spoke quickly as if he wanted to get this over with.

You recognized an English accent in his voice, and wondered if he was visiting on holiday.

"Oh, of course! Well, you can't go wrong with a nice bunch of roses!" you said, walking out from behind the counter and over to the side of the shop, where bouquets of flowers were displayed on the wall.

You plucked a dozen red roses from where they were sitting in a wooden vase, going to wrap them up in paper and tie it all together with a ribbon.

Moving back to the counter, you put the bouquet down. "Would you like a card to go with these?"

"..Um, alright then."

With a small flourish, you grabbed a thin cardboard square from a pile, and a quill. "To whom shall I address this to?"

"Tina," the man said, then paused. "Pr-pray tell, are you perhaps from Europe? Your accent-"

"I'm surprised that you could recognize it!" You laughed lightly. "I've been in America for so long that it's barely there anymore!"

His mouth twitched slightly, as if he was holding back a smile.

"Oh, and, is that spelled T-I-N-A, or any other way?"

"That's how it's spelled."

You wrote To: Tina down in a swooping cursive font, making sure to keep it neat and tidy. Nobody wants to receive a sloppy note, after all!

"And would you like for me to write down your name as well, or are you remaining a secret admirer?" you asked, not even trying to stop the small note of amusement in your voice.

"M-my name, thanks."

Dipping the quill in the ink pot once more, you looked up at him. "Then your name, please?"

"Newt- N-E-W-T, by the way."

You nearly dropped the card and the quill in your hands, but you quickly recovered.

Dear God.

Sure, the little child in you wanted to wholeheartedly believe that this stranger was the friend you left behind long ago- but the adult in you knew that just sharing a name didn't mean that they were the same person.

(Even if the coincidences seemed a bit too similar to not make this true..)

Though, your heart didn't stop beating a touch faster than usual.

With a small scoff of annoyance, you rolled up your sleeves so as to not get them dirtied in ink.

You quickly wrote down From: Newt, then stuck the card into the bouquet, picking it up and holding it out to him. "That'll be five dollars, please-"

He didn't take it, though, and his eyes widened as he looked down at your now-exposed wrist where the bracelet sat proudly.

"...Y-your bracelet.. how.. how did you get it?" he asked quietly.

You felt your heart skip a beat.

"Well, um, a friend gave it to me, when I was younger," you answered, suddenly finding it difficult to look him straight in the eyes. "I've kept it ever since, as it reminds me of home..,"

"A friend..?"

The air suddenly felt thick, heavy with suspense as you slowly looked over at him, waiting for either him to speak or for you to find the right words to say.

"..(Y/N), it really can't be-" he started to say, but you didn't need to hear anything more.

With a sudden amount of bursting happiness, you put down the bouquet and crossed over the counter, firmly throwing your arms around him.

He felt warm, comforting, and smelled of the earth and a few other things that reminded you of the days spent carefree in the park.

Newt held you close, swaying slightly on the spot.

A minute passed, but neither of you wanted to let go.

This all felt very surreal, actually. Was it a dream? Were you just sick? Hyperventilating? Perhaps you were floating away into the sky, like a kite..

But, the grounding touch of your friend kept you firmly anchored in the present and reminded you that yes, this was really happening.

Before it got too weird, you parted, both smiling as if you had just won the lottery.

"Um.. your bouquet?" you said awkwardly, suppressing the sudden urge to giggle at the giddiness that was running through your body.

"Oh. Yes," he replied, digging into the pockets of his coat. "D-do you take Sickles and such here, or..?"

"No, it's Dragots, but you can take it for free- I still technically owe you for the bracelet, anyway!"

This whole change of events had caused your spirits to rise, and subconsciously, the flowers in the shop had started to brighten up and bloom with your happiness. It seemed that Newt had noticed this, and curiously glanced around before picking up the roses, which were bolder in color than before.

"If you say so..," Newt said carefully.

It looked like he was torn between leaving or staying. And either he didn't know what to say- or was too shy to speak up.

(It was probably the latter.)

"Say, um, would you want to come have lunch or something? My break is just in a few minutes, and I bet I can close up early. My apartment is close by," you piped up, quietly fidgeting with the seam of your rough apron.

Newt seemed a bit taken aback, but still gave you a gentle smile, nodding.

"..I'd like that."

#newt scamander #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander x you #fantastic beasts #fantastic beasts and where to find them #newt scamander imagine #reader insert #self insert #fanfic #fanfiction #newt scamander fanfiction

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

Hi! I really enjoyed your metas where you speculated on what would happen if Edward was turned human. Can you do one for Esme,seeing how she's like a ghost embodying a Mother archetype or something right now. Would she be able to find Esme Anne Platt again?

Lots of love

(Anon is referring to this meta, and this one is also relevant)

You know, I was sure the Muffin wrote that. “Hah, silly anon got us confused again,” I thought.

Nope, turns out I’m very confused. Possibly losing my mind.

So, the thing with Esme is that at the darkest, most hopeless point of her life, she chose to end it all, only death turned out to be Prince Charming whisking her away to live a fairytale ending. The man she idolized in life turned out to be more perfect than she’d dared to dream and she got to marry him, she was given a beautiful and devoted son, and Esme herself became perfect in every way.

I also get the impression from Esme of someone who’s not a fan of change. Kids moving out, Carlisle retiring, herself growing older, the whole change package that comes with being human - I think she likes things the way they are far too much to want the mundane human experience of times changing.

So, Esme is turned human.

It would have to be against her will, because she wouldn’t choose this. Oh, she might say “humanity is lovely, dear” if Edward asks, but she’s not actually going to want this. She’d probably use her family as an excuse, that she doesn’t want to leave them, and they’d be a big part of it, yes- but the core of the reason why she’s saying no is that she doesn’t want to be human.

If Esme is turned human, her first feeling is despair, and her first course of action is ask Carlisle to turn her again. Edward can’t even, Esme choosing vampirism would make him implode and I can’t predict his reaction at all (due to pizza box theory. Basically, with Edward, you always count one more unit of crazy than you need).

If humanity’s not an option, however...

It would depend on how her family handled this. Esme herself might just go full New Moon!Bella, in fact I’d be surprised if she didn’t. I doubt she’ll be up for much.

And the Cullens all feel responsible and heartbroken, it’s terrible watching Esme suffer like this and know that they can’t do anything to help her.

Which brings us to the question of what to do with her.

Having a human living with vampires isn’t going to end well, for a variety of reasons. She’ll likely be eaten soon, for one thing, all it takes is one mishap in the kitchen. Which, I have a feeling human Esme would mean long hours spent cooking and crying, cooking and crying. Then when she realizes she can actually eat the food she’s cooked she cries harder.

Or, as I fear she’s gone full New Moon!Bella, there’s not even crying, just... cooking and gazing emptily into the distance.

There’s the dangers of other vampires coming across Esme, and of the Volturi finding out about her. Humans who know about vampires are turned or killed, and being turned isn’t an option for Esme anymore. And as of Breaking Dawn, the Cullens believe Aro’s just waiting for an excuse to kill them all, and Esme could easily become that excuse.

It’s safer for everybody if Esme’s living elsewhere, but it’s also heartless. This family is Esme’s life, her everything. Losing them would kill her.

I imagine they would all drag their feet, “oh we’ll figure it out, we’ll live in a cave for eighty years and wrap her in bubblewrap if we have to” until the first time someone lost control.

At that point, I imagine the cracks in the family crevisses start showing.

Carlisle and Edward have the best control, they’re not going to kill her. Bella has great control too, or the appearance of it, Renesmée is able to control herself around Charlie as an infant, so presumably she’s not going to lose control either, and Rosalie is also really good while being extremely devoted to famly. Rosalie will refuse to leave Esme in this vulnerable time.

Trouble is, Jasper, Alice, and Emmett don’t make the cut.

We’re now looking at a family that slowly shrinks as Esme is more miserable than ever with having torn her family apart, and the vampires (Rosalie especially) runs to and fro to meet up with the others. It’s... not sustainable.

And it’s not very good for Esme.

I imagine there comes a point where Carlisle realizes that Esme is looking at a future of clinging to the old, never allowed to move past it in part because her family isn’t letting her move past it. They love Esme and want her in their lives as much as possible, so they’re preventing her from having one.

Esme is human now, but the Cullens are forcing her to live in a half-and-half world where she’s neither human nor vampire. She’ll never find happiness living like this, never move past the dream of being Esme Cullen.

They have to let her go.

To Esme, this is the ultimate betrayal and despair. Carlisle gave her everything, and now when she’s at her most miserable, he’s taking it all away.

But at this point there’s no future for their marriage because there shouldn’t be. In time she’ll understand, or so Carlisle (who’s desperately hoping he’s not wrong about this and feels misplaced kinship with Edward in New Moon) prays.

They take her to a faraway but English-speaking country for a true new start, make her promise not to give up, and no one is quite happy but there’s no third door.

After that-

Well, she might recover Esme Platt. Who’s to say, though I think having to fend for herself and accept the less perfect things in life would be very good for her.

#long post #esme cullen #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #cullens #why update my meta masterpost when i can put out more meta

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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

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𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁

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sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: You’re a hydra experiment gone wrong. Not to mention Steve Rogers hates you; and you have no idea why.

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: angst, substance abuse, alcohol consumption, enemies to lovers kingda but not really, smut 18+ (slight praise?, a bit of pet names? protected sex ;), riding, cockwarming, choking)

𝒶/𝓃: might do a part 2 blurb, but i’mbeginning to run out of ideas so send some requests! also thanks for 100 followers!! :,)

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 3.3k

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You sat by the window of your room with a cup of coffee as always wishing life would be different; but also not. You were grateful for your life you’re able to have now; being with the Avengers, learning how to control the powers you now possess. Grateful to have a home again.

Years ago you were out with your friends for the fifth time that week, getting drunk and high off of anything you could get your hands on. Your fiance broke off your engagement for his secretary; typical. You got fired from your job the week prior. You were days away from being evicted from your apartment. You had no family; your life was falling apart.

You were also the perfect target. Stumbling out of the club black out drunk and high as shit you were taken into the darkness never to be seen again. You woke up surrounded by darkness freezing, shivering from the cold. You had no idea where you were, what day it was, who was staring at you from the shadows.

“Welcome home,” the voice taunted you.

You spent years in that cell. They wanted you to possess dark magic. And you did, oh did possess alright. You remember that night like it was yesterday; that night haunted your dreams every night.

You would sit in your cell, moving the toy blocks they left for you to use. You mostly practiced your magic with them considering no one taught you how to use them, they only wrote shit down whenever you saw them. No one ever spoke to you and whatever voices you did hear were whispers in languages you couldn’t understand.

Earlier that day so long ago, a ‘doctor’ injected you with this thick disgusting black liquid. They had been at your door all day waiting for something to happen. But they got what they were looking for; experimenting on you for.

Your back burned and ached as if there were nails clawing at your skin. You screamed in agony, begging someone to help you, to take the pain away. You could see your once blue veins that ran through your body turn black. Your skin ripped on your back, bruises forming, black feathers growing out your body.

Once they were entirely out of your body they applauded. They actually praised the ‘doctor’ who made you into this, this creature. They left you to deal with the pain. You shook in fear and agony. You had wings. Fucking black wings.

They called you the Fallen Angel. You possessed the powers of Lucifer himself. You didn’t fully know it however.

Months later the avengers infiltrated the base. Natasha found you; you were severely dehydrated and malnourished. But you recovered quickly and here you were staying with the avengers fighting alongside them taking down bad guys and shit.

There was a light knock on your door taking you out of your horrid memories.

“Hey, babe,” Natasha opened your door and peeked her head around.

“Hey, Nat,” you replied.

“How are the wings?”

Since you’ve been with the avengers you’ve become happier with your life again and your wings started getting light in color, they’re still not white however and you don’t know why.

“Still gray,” you chuckled.

“That’s so weird. You haven’t done anything and that goop that was in your system is filtered out. What’s making them gray?”

“I have no idea. Anyway are we even sure they're supposed to turn white? I mean I’m no angel; I had a shit life before all of this happened. Maybe it’s just baggage.”

“But it makes sense, you know,” she defended.

“Not everything makes sense.”

“You hungry? Sam was thinking chinese takeout, Tony said shawarma and you’re the tie breaker.”

“Awe man, you guys suck. What do you want?”

“Shawarma,” she whispered.

“Ok. shawarma,” you agreed.

She grabbed your hand and led you to the living where everyone waited for the tie breaker. Your wings were so big and they dragged behind you every time you walked, ran, anything. It was hard sometimes, they were heavy too but you got used to it.

“She said shawarma!” Nat shouted.

Half the crowded cheer and the other half whined. Delivery came fast thankfully and everyone gathered on the couch, Tony putting a movie on while you guys ate. You sat with Bucky and Nat; usually Steve sits with Bucky but Sam was also on the couch next to Buck.

Steve came up to you making your stomach drop; he was so handsome but here’s the thing, he hated you. Since you came to the tower, he always said they shouldn’t have brought you. That you were too dangerous and you could hurt someone; that hurt you.

You spent so long hating yourself for what you became but with the avengers help, excluding Steve, you’ve been able to learn to start loving yourself and appreciate how you can use your powers for good and saving people. But every time your name came out of Steve’s mouth, it was degrading and you hated yourself a little more each time.

And you don’t know why.

“Move.”

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, taken aback.

“I said move,” he said sternly.

“Steve, she was here first. Don’t be a baby. Go sit down somewhere else,” Nat said.

Steve stared at you making you look away in discomfort. He sat in the loveseat alone glaring at you like you had killed his mother or something. The movie continued however and people kept eating. Steve was still grumpy glaring at you whenever you laughed at a scene or said something out loud or literally did anything.

“Rogers, L/n. Briefing, now,” you snapped your head to the voice who was Nick Fury.

“You two doing anything?”he asked when you three were alone.

“We were-”

“Good,” he interrupted.

“I have a mission for you two. We’ve been getting hyperactivity on our radar at these coordinates for the past week now. We do have reason to believe it may be another hydra base trying to regroup maybe, get the band back together type of shit.”

“And you need us why? The rest of the team is in the living room,” Steve asked him.

“You two know hydra best and it’s too soon to put Bucky on a mission that involves Hydra. I’d like you two to complete this with no casualties. We have authorities ready to arrest them, they're just waiting for you,” Nick gave you both a file.

“I want you both on the plane in 5. And please for fuck’s sake, try not to yell at each other. Y/n, Steve is your captain just do what he says,” He walked out of the room and you rolled your eyes. Whenever you guys go on a mission together he always has you stand back and even stay on the plane with Bruce sometimes. You more than once rejected his instructions; now thinking about it might be the reason he hates you…

“Try not to kill yourself this time,” Steve said before leaving to suit up.

The mission was going well and all fell into place. Until while the bastards were under arrest getting ready to be transported, one of the Hydra agents recognized you. He mocked you and laughed at you. Taunted you and brought memories of your time with them back to your mind.

Tears formed in your eyes, you were so angry. You used your powers, developed from the darkness and began slowly killing him. He turned red and choked gasping for air. Steve watched you begin to get angry, feeling empathy for you. But when he saw you snap, he knew he couldn't trust that you’d cause trouble.

“Y/n, stop,” he said. But you didn’t stop; you wanted the bastard dead.

“Y/n!” you ignored him.

Your brain drowning all sounds except your breathing and his lack of. Steve grabbed your arms and dragged you, you bursted into tears, memories and trauma flooding back. Steve was pissed that you couldn’t go a single mission without doing something you weren’t supposed to. But he also knew that what you had gone through was torture and he felt sorry for you.

He somewhat knows about the torture that Hydra has inflcited in the past. Bucky talked about it with him and sometimes still has nightmares about it. His behavior probably doesn’t make you feel better. He didn’t mean it to get this far.

When Nat brought you on the plane, he was hesitant. But he knew if they left you there you would die in no time. After you rested, ate, and cleaned up, he was mesmerized. You were very beautiful but Steve felt like because of Peggy he shouldn’t love another person. Like she would be mad if he moved on.

So, he avoided you at first. Absence turned to frustration when you wouldn’t leave him alone like he had thought. Frustration led to insults and now you think he hates you with everything in his body. But he couldn’t feel further from hate for you.

Sure, he got frustrated when you didn’t listen to him on missions; primarily because you thought he was being a dick on purpose to antagonize you. But when you came home, safely, and laughed with everyone about Bucky tripping and falling on his face, he fell in love a little bit more with you and your laugh. You looked so happy; without him.

But Steve can’t let it happen, so now he stomped away from you pretending to be upset over something so stupid.

“Where are you going?” you yelled at him.

“I really don’t need your shit right now, Y/n,” he snapped.

“No, you’re gonna deal with it. It’s been more than a year, Steve! Grow up and talk to me like a real man! Why do you hate me so much?”

“Enough!” he boomed, scaring you.

“Leave me alone,” he said lowly, having more impact than if he were to yell.

“Please,” you cried, “Talk to me. What did I do?”

“You want to know the truth? You’re too powerful. You’re already reckless and if you knew the capacity of your abilities you'd become more reckless. If you’re more reckless you’ll die; and if you die, that's on me. I can’t let that happen,” there was sincerity in his voice for once; the truth but not the one he wanted to really admit.

“That doesn’t explain why you hate me.”

“God I don’t fucking hate you!”

“Then tell me the truth!” you yelled back.

“I hate myself. I hate myself for feeling the way I do. It's not fair to her.”

“Not fair to who?”

“To Peggy.”

“I thought Peggy passed away.”

“She did,” he went into his room and sat on his bed head in his hands.

“I’m confused.”

“I can’t help what I feel for you; and that’s not fair to Peggy. I feel like I should still be in love with her but I’m not.”

You stood by the closed door listening to him.

“You like me?”

“No, I think I fell in love with you. I thought I could stop by avoiding you but your so fuckin stubborn. You were determined to be my friend; and I don’t want to just be your friend. So I said a couple of mean things and it went too far. I never meant for you to hate me or for you to think I hated you. I was just stupid.”

“Yeah, it was little stupid,” he chuckled at what you said.

You walked towards him and stepped between his legs. He grabbed a hold of your hips and buried his face in your stomach. You held his head brushing your fingers through his hair softly. He looked up at you with soft eyes filled with regret and sorrow. You could tell he was frustrated.

“Is it wrong? To love you?” he whispered.

“No, Peggy wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life moping when you could choose to be happy, like she did. She would want you to move on, live life. And that doesn't mean with me. I mean in general. Does that make sense?”

He nodded sincerely.

He slid his hands to the back of your thighs and sat on his lap. You gasped and your wings fluttered behind you, expanding with excitement. Steve chuckled at that and you buried your face in his neck feeling embarrassed. He cupped his hand on your face and naturally you leaned into his hand looking into his blue eyes.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

You simply nodded before leaning up to him to connect your lips with his. Your wings once again expanded; lightly ruffling against each other. You pulled away and attached your lips to his neck peppering light kisses all around.

You connected your lips once again and it was Steve’s turn to attack your neck with pecks. You’ve alway worn shirts that were either very low in the back or cut to make room for your wings. Either way Steve slowly pulled your shirt over your shoulder trailing kisses along your chest and collarbone.

“I really care about you, Y/n. Please let me show you.”

You hesitated only because it’s been so long since you had been intimate with someone.

“We don’t have to-” he started.

“No, I do. I really do; it’s just been a while, you know? Being held hostage and all,” you joked.

“I understand. We still don’t have to.”

“Steve,” you whispered in his ear.

“I want you. I want you to fuck me.”

You heard him growl lowly before he stood up with you and almost laid you on your back.

“Steve, I can’t lay on my back!” you laughed.

“Oh that’s right! I’m so sorry,” you both laughed for a second.

He set you down on your feet and stripped his shirt. Your eyes shot straight to his chest, your hands reaching out to touch his chest. He smirked at you before taking his pants off leaving him in boxers; for now. He reached for your pants as well eyeing you to make sure he wasn’t moving to fast but after a smile and a nod he slowly pulled your own pants to join his discarded on the floor.

He kissed your thighs that were slightly scarred from your time with hydra. He stood up and you pulled your shirt down off your shoulders letting it fall to the floor. Steve’s eyes watched your breasts. His hands reached for them as you did to his chest when he took his shirt off.

You pulled in for another kiss until Steve had enough.

“I need to be inside you, baby girl,” he pulled his boxer down, taking your panties off after. He grabbed your hand sitting on the bed. His back leaned against the headboard and you crawled into his lap, your knees falling to either side of his hips. His hands rubbed up and down your thighs and hips.

He reached for a condom and handed it to you winking and smirking. You tore the foil with your teeth keeping direct eye contact with him, Steve getting harder and harder every second passing. Your took his cock in your hands, bigger than you thought it would be, and rolled the condom on squeezing a bit making his hips jerk up into your hand.

“Knock it off, pretty girl.”

You leaned forward and lined your entrance with his cock moving your hips around a bit teasing him before you actually sink down. Steve was so impatient though, he gripped your hips and thrusted quickly into you making you gasp loudly and moan not long after.

You moved quickly, breasts bouncing with each thrust. Steve groaned under you, fingers digging into your hips.

“My angel. You feel so fucking good,” he grunted.

You simply whined and moaned, feeling euphoric being around Steve. Your wings moved along with you guys gracefully expanding further as you got closer to your oragsm. Steve’s hand moved up your body to wrap around your throat, his thrust getting more sporadic. He squeezed gently making your eyes roll back; your wings getting bigger.

“Your fucking perfect, angel. You gonna cum soon? You gonna cum around my cock?”

“Yes, Stevie. Oh god!” you moaned.

Your moans got louder, echoing in the room. Skin slapping against each other mixing with the lude sounds of you both where you were connected. Steve released his hold on your neck and grabbed your waist moving wildly in and out of you.

Your pussy pulsed around Steve’s cocked. When the pressure building in the pit your stomach finally bursted your wings fully expanded and your back arched. You felt Steve’s dick throbbing until it went soft inside you. You collapsed on his chest trying to catch your breath again.

Steve moved you for a minute taking his cock out of you; discarding the condom in a trash bin. He grabbed a towel and iped you clean first then cleaning himself. He crawled into bed with you and you moved your knee over his hips as before making him laugh.

“What’s wrong, angel?” you liked that name he gave you.

“Can you…?” you mumbled into his chest.

“What was that?”

“Can you put it back in?” you asked louder.

“My cock?” you nodded shyly.

“Anything for you, angel.”

You laid on his chest with his cock settled inside you and you dozed off. Steve lightly scratched your back after turning his bedside light off. Before he fell asleep he saw a soft glow of wings turning white. He questioned it but ultimately fell asleep. He’d ask you about it tomorrow morning.

================

You woke up with your head on Steve’s chest, naked limbs tangled with the sheets. Steve was on his phone, his hand scratching your head gently.

“Good morning.”

“Morning, bug.”

“Sorry to keep you in bed,” you said sitting up; you pulled the sheet with you to cover your chest.

“Don’t be sorry, angel.”

“I’m really hungry.”

“Want to grab breakfast downstairs? We’ll come back up afterwards. We can cuddle some more,” Steve kissed you with a smile.

You stood up grabbing your shirt from last night and Steve handed you a pair of cledan boxers to wear. He dressed himself before walking with you downstairs to the kitchen.

You walked into the kitchen first everyone’s eyes wide. You thought at first maybe it was because they might have heard you and Steve last night but Nat spoke up before you could ask.

“Your wings! Their white!”

“What?” you asked shocked. You opened your wings so you could see them in front of you to see that they were in fact white.

“How did that happen?” Nat came up to you.

“They weren’t white last night.”

“They changed after you fell asleep, angel,” Steve spoke up; everyone’s heads snapping toward him, confused.

“They did?” you asked, he nodded and smiled coming up to you grabbing your hand.

“What the fuck?” Tony said.

“What the hell happened? I thought you guys hated each other?” Bucky asked.

“It’s a little complicated,” you said.

“Ok but that doesn’t really explain why they’re white now,” Nat spoke up.

“I think it’s because I wasn’t truly happy and fully free of my past until yesterday. I was able to move on and now being with Steve now makes me happy.”

“Really?” Sam joked.

“Yes, really,” you laughed.

“This is gonna take some getting used to,” Tony said.

“Did you guys…?” Nat asked suggestively.

Your eyes grew wide and you got hot. Steve only laughed which was enough of an answer for everyone.

“As long as you’re both happy,” Bucky said.

“We are,” you looked up at Steve, wrapping your wings yourselves and shielding a heated kiss with Steve.

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers smut #steve x reader #steve x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers angst

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drmmyrs · 3 years

Text

Remember Me (Becca x MC)

So, weird story. I was randomly browsing tumblr one time when this ask pops out at the top of the screen (req about amnesia au Becca’s POV). It wasn’t even related to anything I was reading but checked my inbox and it wasn’t there. Most probably the ask isn’t for me but still wrote it just in case 😅

PS if someone DID send me this ask, kindly drop me a message just so I know I’m not seeing things 😭

PPS I’m trying out a new writing style and I’m not sure if it’s any good so I’d really appreciate any feedback 🥺 (this will be a mini series too, I think, since the angst potential is definitely there 😂)

PPPS title is inspired from the song in Coco just cause I’ve been playing it a lot on piano recently

tag list: @whackawriting @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @uselesslesbianfr @baexpoppy @alexroyard @alexlabhont @veenast @noixngn @sillyandcutewizardstuffs (If you wanna be added or removed or just prefer a certain ship just let me know ❤️)

Pairing: Becca x MC (Emily)

Word Count: 2090

I don't remember what happened, nor know where I am, but I hear shouting, lots of it. I try to move, but my body feels completely numb; the only thing I can feel is the trickle of liquid that splatters across my face. Rain? I open my eyes strenuously, but all I can see past my blurry vision are brown eyes glistening with tears. I can't quite make out her face, but for some reason, seeing her cry sends a flurry of emotions that hurt more than my throbbing head. I try to open my mouth, hoping to provide comfort somehow, but no words come out. She is saying something over and over again, something about leaving? But my head hurts too much to be able to comprehend. A siren then blares from a distance, growing louder by the second as flashes of red cloud my vision. And that is when everything turns black.

I slowly open my eyes–still reeling from the nightmare that somehow felt too real–and harsh, blinding lights immediately greet me. I hastily shut my eyes back and suddenly become well aware of the ache engulfing my entire body. It isn't before long that I realize that someone is holding my hand, tracing lazy circles against my skin ever so often. I try to move it but only manage to lift a finger, and at once, the grip tightens and becomes still for a moment before I hear a voice– How can a voice sound so familiar... yet so strange? It's saying my name, urgent and gentle at the same time as though I might break at any second. I try to open my eyes, but exhaustion grips me powerless. And soon, I succumb to its fiery grasp as I slip back into slumber.

When I wake up again, I already feel much stronger than before. The ache in my body has turned into a dull hum as if sharp nails are gently caressing my skin, enough to be felt but not to hurt. I look around the room, panic swelling in my chest as I take in the sight of different medical equipment looming around my bed and needles sticking out of my arm. I fight the urge to squirm as I take big, calming breaths, ignoring how the four white walls seem to close in on me. Thankfully, the door opens, and a nurse walks in, temporarily distracting me from my distress. She smiles upon seeing me awake and walks towards me.

"Welcome back, Ms. Davenport. How are you feeling?"

"W–where am I?" I ask weakly.

"In the hospital. A month ago, you were involved in a car crash, and your head was hurt pretty badly," the nurse says sympathetically. She is now taking my vitals, scribbling something on her chart from time to time.

Car crash?

I scrunch my eyes, trying to remember, but the harder I try, the more my head hurts.

"Wait. A month? Are you saying that I've been here... for a month?"

The nurse nods. "You've been unconscious the entire time. But your vitals now are looking good. The doctor will just run a few tests to make sure we don't miss anything."

I stay quiet for a while, my mind still processing everything the nurse just said, which has only raised new questions.

"Your friends and family were really worried about you, you know. There wasn't a day when you didn't have any visitors. Especially that special friend of yours you were in the car with." The nurse turns towards me, holding a pen against her chin. "What was her name? Em–Emma, I think? She barely left your side. She actually just went to grab some food before you woke up."

...I don't know any Emma, but I don't tell her that.

"What about my parents?"

"Your mom and sister usually visit during the evening."

"And my father?"

The nurse shakes her head. "I don't think I've ever seen your father."

The nurse leaves after a while, and the doctor comes inside the room shortly. I answer a few questions before I'm escorted outside to take some tests. Afterward, the nurse leads me back to my room and gently guides me to bed.

"Would you like me to call in your visitors?" the nurse asks.

I nod.

The nurse goes out, and soon my mom walks in followed by–

"Emily." I frown. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Both of them stop in their tracks. My mom looks at me in concern and confusion, while Emily looks like I just punched her in the gut.

Anger bubbles up inside me as a realization comes to mind. "Y–you. You're the one who did this, aren't you? You're the reason I'm here."

A guilty look flickers across her face, confirming my suspicions. And before I can stop myself, I shout at her to leave, but she stands there motionless, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Go get the doctor," my mom tells her, which snaps her out of her shock. She scurries out of the room at the same time my mom starts walking towards me.

"Why is she here, Mom?"

My mom stops at the side of the bed and reaches out to stroke my hair. "Honey, the accident was not her fault."

"But she was there with me..."

"Yes."

"Why?"

My mom's hand goes still, resting on top of my head. "Becca, what was the last thing you remember?"

"I..." I close my eyes and think hard for a moment. "I–I remember hosting the Kappa party. But that doesn't make any sense. Why would I leave with Emily?"

A brief look of panic flashes across her eyes.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

My mom smiles at me, but it looks forced. "It's nothing, sweetie. The doctor will be here soon."

But I can see that she's trying her best to keep calm–the look on her face similar to when she would talk to my little sister and me right after we would hear her and dad fight.

The doctor comes in a little while later, asking a bunch of questions similar to my mom's. They then do more tests on me, and I grow scared by the minute, not understanding what the hell is going on. Eventually, I'm back in my room alone, my mom and the doctor staying outside to talk. After some time, they enter the room, and my mom sits beside me, taking my hand as the doctor walks towards the other side of the bed.

I look at my mom, drained from all the medical tests I went through the entire day. "What's happening, Mom? I'm scared."

My mom squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. "The doctor will explain it to you, sweetie. But I'll be right here the whole time." She then gives a single nod to the doctor.

The doctor smiles at me politely. "How are you feeling, Becca?"

I stare at him, suddenly annoyed at being asked the same question over and over again.

"Right then." The doctor clears his throat. "During the accident, your brain was affected more than we initially thought." He pauses, and I meet his gaze, willing him to go straight to the point. "It seems like you have retrograde amnesia, meaning that you have no memory of the past three years of your life."

The doctor goes on and on about the technicalities, but I'm not listening anymore. His voice is reduced to background noise as I repeat his words inside my head, trying to grasp the implications of what he just said. I prop myself up, looking wildly around the room, tugging at my shirt as if it would help me breathe. But it doesn't. My body feels numb, which is why I almost don't notice my mom pulling me into a tight hug, stroking my back comfortingly as she whispers reassurances. I focus on her voice, forcing myself to take deep breaths as I slowly begin to calm down. I pull away after some time, recomposing myself as I find my voice.

"Three years," I whisper.

"We'll help you recover your memories, honey. But for now, you can ask me anything you like."

"I–I think I just need some rest."

My mom nods, helping me settle back in bed before she leaves, promising to be back tomorrow.

Sleep comes easy to me, and I wake up the next day with Madison sitting at the chair next to my bed, browsing her phone.

"Hey, Maddie."

She looks up from her phone, a smile lighting up her face before she practically jumps out of her chair to hug me. "Becca!"

"Ow, that... kinda hurts."

When she pulls away from me, her eyes are teary.

"Sorry, I just missed you so much. You were gone for so long! I thought–"

"Hey, hey, none of that," I say, smiling at her.

She pulls the chair closer to my bed and sits down. "How are you, Becca? Your mom told me about your... condition."

I stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, it sucks." I snap my head back to her. "Tell me something. Do we still hang out a lot?"

"We still meet up from time to time. Not as much as we used to, though," Madison says, smiling sadly.

I nod. "Who do I usually hang out with now?"

"Emily."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Did we become close friends or something?"

"Oh, right. You've only been together for like two years," Madison murmurs contemplatively. "She's your girlfriend, Becca."

I let the information sink in. "You have got to be kidding me." I stare at her wide-eyed. "How–What–Why?"

Madison recounts our 'love story,' each detail more absurd than the last. I don't want to believe any of it, but Emily as my girlfriend... it actually explains everything. I rub my temples. How the hell did that happen? I remember like it was yesterday when she tried to steal Chris away from me. And now... and now...

"Maddie? Can you do me a favor and grab me something to eat? I'm starving."

Madison smiles. "Of course."

Madison goes out in a while, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

***

After a few more days of recovery, I am finally allowed to leave the hospital. Despite my protests, my mom explains that I will have to stay with Emily and her friends at what I assume has been my home for the past two years. She explains that she prefers for someone to look after me constantly, and she will not be able to do that with her job and all.

Outside the hospital, I find Emily waiting near a car; her eyes are bloodshot, as if she hasn't slept a wink in days. When she sees me approaching, her face immediately brightens up. Our gazes lock briefly before I turn back to my mom.

"Are you sure I can't stay with you?"

My mom smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, honey. I wish you could, but..."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Look, I know you don't remember, but these people you've been living with... they care about you very much.”

I nod.

My mom pulls me into a hug before guiding me inside the car, shutting the door afterward. She and Emily talk for a brief moment outside, and I watch as she hugs Emily before walking away. Emily steps into the passenger seat.

Zack, who is sitting in the driver's seat, turns around and smiles at me warmly. "I'm glad you're back."

I shift uncomfortably, ignoring his gaze. "Thanks."

We drive home silently, awkwardness saturating the car space. Upon arriving, I observe the details of the house, seeing if it sparks any memories... but nothing. I see Emily looking at me intently, probably thinking the same thing. They then lead me inside the house, and I step in hesitantly, taking in the surroundings, which vary immensely from the sorority house, the last place I lived based on my memories. Emily guides me to my room, lingering near me as I open the door.

"Becca–"

I turn towards her. "Please don't. I know you think I'm your girlfriend. A–and I guess I was. But as far as I remember, I don't like you at all. So I would appreciate it if you just leave me alone." I turn around and go inside my room, shutting the door behind me. I then lie on the bed, trying to forget how the light dimmed out of Emily's eyes as I broke her heart.

#becca #becca davenport #rebecca davenport #becca x mc #the freshman series #the freshman #the sophomore #the junior #the senior #playchoices #play choices #my work #my fanfics #my writing #request??

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Note

I know you wrote a drabble where Scott is almost sacrificed at Dogwarts and wanted to ask if you could write a version of that where he actually is sacrificed.

okay so this one is an alternate ending to this one, so it’ll start off the same and branch out into a different ending. read it first/save it for after if you want a happier version lol

author’s note: due to my severe discomfort surrounding decapitation, i’ve altered the method of killing slightly

lives at the start of this fic: Jimmy - red, Scott - green, Ren - red, Etho - yellow, Martyn - green

cw: blood, strangulation

just a reminder: please do not tag as shipping :)

…

Scott is starting to regret letting the Dogwarts trio take him and Jimmy back to their base, but he can’t exactly back out now. It’s his own fault, really, for asking if there’s anything else he can do to support Dogwarts from a distance, rather than putting up their banner.

He shoots a sideways glance at Jimmy, who seems even more nervous than him. Scott resists the urge to reach out and take his hand.

Finally, they arrive at Dogwarts. Scott is more than worried to see that a new platform with torches surrounding it on all four corners has sprung up in the middle of the carrot field. It looks innocent enough but something about it gives it an ominous vibe.

Unfortunately, this is exactly where Ren leads Scott.

“What is this?” Scott asks warily, putting one foot on the step up.

“This is the Altar of the Black Heart,” responds Ren ominously. “For Dogwarts to truly achieve full power, it requires a sacrifice. The blood of an outsider.”

Scott’s eyes widen as he realises what this means. “Whoa, whoa, hold on a second!”

He backs away a few steps but bumps into Etho, who takes hold of him in a surprisingly strong grip.

Jimmy starts forward with a gasp but Martyn grabs him and pushes him down, holding him in place. “Scott!” Jimmy cries uselessly.

Ren stands on the hill just above the altar as Etho drags Scott into place and tries to hold him down. Scott struggles against Etho’s grip, causing Etho to backhand him across the face.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Jimmy screams. “SCOOOOOOTT!”

Blood trickling out the corner of his mouth, Scott coughs and tries to fend Etho off again.

“I’d stop resisting if I were you, Scott,” comes Martyn’s cold voice.

Scott glances over at him. His heart freezes as he finds Martyn holding a sword to Jimmy’s neck. “No!” he gasps. “Don’t!”

“Then hold still.”

After a moment, Scott squeezes his eyes shut and falls still, letting Etho push him to his hands and knees in the centre of the altar.

“Scott…!” croaks Jimmy. “No…!”

Scott forces himself to meet Jimmy’s terrified gaze. “It’ll be okay, Jimmy,” he whispers, just loud enough for Jimmy to hear. “Just stay strong for me, okay? Stay strong.”

“A sacrifice must be made!” announces Ren, spreading his arms to the skies. “Do the honours, Etho.”

Etho nods and raises his axe.

Jimmy looks away, starting to hyperventilate. He can’t watch this.

Scott closes his eyes.

The axe comes down hard and buries itself in the small of Scott’s back, the tip piercing his heart and killing him instantly.

Smajor1995 was slain by Etho

Jimmy starts to scream and doesn’t stop. His eyes are fixed on the spot his husband just was seconds before, tears streaming down his face. Tears of terror, of grief, of anger.

Something snaps inside him.

“Take Solidarity to the dungeon,” Ren orders. “We’ll deal with him later.”

But as Martyn starts to move, Jimmy reacts lightning fast and kicks him in the stomach with unbelievable strength. Martyn staggers back in shock and pain, allowing Jimmy to snatch his sword and slice cut after cut in his former friend’s body, not stopping despite the screams. His lust for blood has finally been awakened and he WILL avenge his husband.

InTheLittleWood was slain by SolidarityGaming

He spins round to find Etho charging at him with the axe that had killed Scott. Seeing his husband’s blood still dripping down the blade sends Jimmy completely over the edge.

His swing has so much force behind it that it knocks the axe cleanly out of Etho’s hand. Before Etho can recover, Jimmy shoves him to the ground and kneels on his chest, his hands wrapped around Etho’s throat. His eyes are so flaming red that they’re practically glowing, teeth bared in an animal-like snarl.

THIS is the person who killed his husband. Jimmy will make him pay.

Someone is trying to pull him off Etho but the bloodlust increases a red lifer’s strength and stamina, and they can’t budge him. The smell of blood is making Jimmy dizzy and disoriented, but all he knows is that he wants to kill. No, he NEEDS to kill. His desire to maim and murder is so strong that it’s all-consuming, growing inside him like lava escaping a volcano, rising up until it’s about to explode outwards and destroy everything in its path.

“STOP!” Ren’s voice yells desperately.

Jimmy doesn’t. He can sense that Etho is almost dead, and every instinct in his body is driving him forward to finish the job.

“Jimmy!”

This voice causes Jimmy to freeze and slowly release Etho, blinking against his red vision as he looks around wildly for its owner.

A hand touches his shoulder, then hugs him from behind. The cool, smooth arms… the scent of strawberries… the gentle heartbeat…

“S-Scott?” Jimmy croaks.

“It’s me, Jimmy,” whispers Scott. “I’m here.”

Jimmy slowly turns around and finds Scott’s face looking back at him. It… It really is him.

He pulls Scott into a tight hug, clutching him like his life depends on it. All the pain and anger and terror melts away, leaving only love.

Still holding Jimmy tightly, Scott carefully moves him away from Ren and a freshly-yellow Martyn as they dash to the semi-conscious Etho’s side.

“We’re even,” he says firmly. “A life for a life. There’s no need for further bloodshed.”

Ren glares back at him, but his expression softens slightly as he registers what Scott’s saying. “Really? You’d be satisfied leaving it like this?”

“Well, of course we’d still be enemies,” responds Scott. “But I want to call a temporary truce. I don’t want anyone else to die, not even any of you.”

After a moment, Ren glances over at his right hand man. “It’s your call, Martyn. You’re the one who died.”

Martyn considers Scott’s words on his own for a moment, before glancing up and happening to make eye contact with Jimmy. All traces of the bloodlust in Jimmy’s gaze are gone, replaced only with the eyes of the person Martyn used to be close friends with all those years ago.

“I accept your olive branch,” he says.

Ren nods and addresses Scott and Jimmy: “Then you two may leave this place in peace.”

“Come, Jimmy,” Scott murmurs. “Let’s go, quickly. Before they change their mind.”

Jimmy dithers as Scott takes hold of his hand and starts pulling him towards the exit. “S-Sorry, Etho,” he says awkwardly. “Sorry, Martyn.”

“Come on.”

Scott practically drags Jimmy to the gate and out of Dogwarts, only slowing down once their walls start to appear in front of them. Jimmy stays silent, letting his husband lead him.

Finally, they get into their base, which is where Jimmy takes the lead and pulls Scott into the former’s house, shutting the door for privacy.

“Jimmy, what-,” Scott starts.

“Let me see the scar,” says Jimmy seriously. “Please.”

After a moment, Scott turns around and lifts up the back of his shirt. A clean, straight mark running down his back shows Jimmy exactly where the axe entered his body. He gently traces the line with the tips of his fingers.

“I told you this would happen,” he says hoarsely. “I said they’d do this to you but you didn’t listen!”

Scott huffily pulls down his shirt and takes a few steps away. “I know, Jimmy. TRUST ME, I know! You’re just lucky they decided to go for the green lifer, not the red.”

“LUCKY?!” cries Jimmy. “Did you SEE me back there?! I murdered Martyn and nearly choked the life out of Etho!”

“Yeah, I did! I set my spawn right outside the walls before we went in and it’s lucky I did or you might’ve kept going and gotten yourself killed in the process! I can’t believe fear for your own life is what finally triggered your bloodlust.”

“What?!” Jimmy stares at him with wide eyes. “You think THAT’s what happened?”

Scott frowns at Jimmy’s reaction. “Well… I DID, but…”

“There’s a reason I’ve stayed back and tried not to get involved in any of your stupid conflicts, you know! I NEVER wanted to kill. EVER. But when they sacrificed you right in front of me, I felt the desire to rip Martyn and Etho apart like a predator with its prey. THAT’s what triggered my bloodlust, Scott! They killed you and I wanted them to suffer like they made you suffer!” Jimmy’s voice breaks and he dissolves into tears. “My bloodlust was triggered by the need to avenge you. And to make sure they never hurt you again.”

His heart breaking, Scott pulls Jimmy into another hug, letting him cry into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I never considered how traumatic that whole thing must’ve been for you. How are you holding up?”

Jimmy coughs, trying to clear his throat. “B-Better now. Please promise me we won’t ever go there again, though.”

Scott rubs Jimmy’s back soothingly, feeling Jimmy’s heart still pounding in his chest.

“I promise.”

#3rd life smp #3rdlifesmp #solidaritygaming #smajor1995 #vaunna’s requests

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akakeiiji · 4 years

Note

Hi! This is my first time requesting something, i was wondering if you could do headcanons or reactions for Oikawa, Akaashi, Atsumu, sugawara and Nishinoya who have an s/o who is a medical student and works as a paramedic in her free time and tends their injuries after games or durning them, especially oikawa 😔🙏🏻

Omg anon, if this ask is based off of you then you are amazing!! Keep up the great work!

Also I finally broke through my creative block and actually wrote something, I actually finished these hcs a few days ago but my laptop died before I could post so I had to start from scratch huhu (having to start over drained me so much hence why this took so long to post)

✂︎・・・masterlist

-`,✎Oikawa, Akaashi, Atsumu, Sugawara and Nishinoya’s reaction to their S/O tending to their injuries

Oikawa Tooru

Oikawa is the king of overworking himself

Even when he doesn’t have any matches to worry about, he’s in the gym practicing and practicing till he physically can’t anymore

It’s no wonder why he gets injured a lot, he just never knows when to stop

If it weren’t for you his body would be in horrible shape

You always know what to say and do to get him to stop practicing for the day, and you’re always the one tending to his sore and exhausted body ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

He loves flexing you, he needs everyone to know how smart you are

When I say everyone, I mean everyone

You turn around for a bit and he’s suddenly telling the cashier how amazing you are for being a paramedic

Contrary to popular belief, Oikawa is actually very smart so sometimes he’ll study with you in his free time, helping you out by quizzing you and stuff

He studies your material sometimes, idly reading through your papers and textbooks sometimes

He’ll just randomly blurt out random medical facts, which may or may not be a ploy to impress you

One day when it was reaching the end of a match, you could tell that something was wrong with Tooru, it wasn’t obvious but you knew when he was in pain

You internally screamed at him, urging him to sit the rest of the match out but this was Oikawa you were talking about

Luckily the match ended quickly after that with Oikawa’s team winning but he almost collapses from the sheer pain he was feeling on his leg, it had been acting up again from his old injury

You were absolutely livid because it wouldn't have been so bad if he stopped playing when it started hurting but you were too worried to lecture him

There are tears prickling his eyes but he’s still smiling and telling everyone he’ll be okay because you’re there

“They’re the best of best, they’ll be able to help me!”

He’d be bedridden for a while and, of course, you’d be by his side the entire time

You scolded him for an hour and he couldn’t run away so he had to endure it all

For the first few days, everything would be okay, but after a while, he starts getting restless and keeps trying to get up to do things by himself

You would physically restrain him to the bed if you could

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JUST KIDDING….Unless

He wants nothing more than to go back to training, he’d literally start dreaming about volleyball on some nights

You have to constantly remind him that if he doesn't recover properly he’ll just worsen his leg so that he doesn’t run away while you’re at school or at work

“If it gets worse, they might have to amputate it.”

“What?! You can’t be serious…you’re joking, right?”

Since he can’t go out or train anymore, he spends the rest of his time trying to get your attention

He’s so pouty and whiny, always calling for you for no good reason

While you’re studying in the other room, he’ll suddenly call for you saying he needs you

When you go over to him, he’ll just be like: “I need you~” and you’d have to fight the urge to strangle him

He really just wants your attention, pls help him

In all seriousness though, he’s so thankful to you and truly appreciates what you do

While you’re checking on his leg one day, he’d take your gentle hands in his and pull you in for a hug

“Thank you for putting up with me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“…also I need to pee.”

Akaashi Keiji

My son

My precious boy

It pains me to write about him getting hurt

He’s so supportive of you and your studies, he knows how hard studying medicine is

He always checks in on you when you’re studying or working

He’s the type of boyfriend that will give you little snacks while you’re working and remind you to take breaks

Whenever he feels sick or gets hurt, you’re the first one he calls because he trusts you the most and because he knows how capable you are

But this happens very rarely because he’s really careful and knows his limits

During one of his matches though, he suddenly falls over after setting a ball, clutching his leg

He’s immediately rushed over to the infirmary but when they arrive you’re already there wheezing and panting after running all the way there from the bleachers

The nurse tells you that he sprained his ankle pretty badly and that he’d recover just fine but you still felt so bad because you could see how much Akaashi was in pain

I'm legitimately hurting rn while writing this

After getting injured, he starts overthinking so fricking much

He’ll start thinking that he was pulling his team down and begin questioning his skills as a player

You literally have to slap some sense into him or he’ll just drown in his thoughts

You’ll have to cup his face in your hands and urge him to look at you while you tell him how much of an amazing player he is and how injuries like these are inevitable when playing sports

He’ll only start feeling better after this but he still needs a huge dose of your hugs and kisses to fully recover

Out of all the boys, he’s probably the easiest to take care of (he’s prolly tied with Suga)

He’s more obedient and doesn’t mind staying in bed for a long time

But at the same time, he’s so stubborn and says he doesn’t need your help

He just keeps thinking that he’s burdening you while you have so much on your plate

“I don’t need your help, love. I’m completely fine.”

“Keiji, there are literally tears in your eyes.”

He subconsciously gets clingier than usual as the days go by, always trying to get your attention

He isn’t as obvious as other ehem tooru and tries to do so in more subtle ways

Like he’ll just accidentally drop his book and when you go to pick it up he’ll pull you onto the bed and before you know it you’ve been cuddling for two hours straight

The extra affection is his own little way of saying thank you

While you’re checking on his injuries he’ll grab your hand with his and press your knuckles to his lips

“Thank you, love.”

My heart burst

Miya Atsumu

Oikawa part 2 but snarkier

He just doEsn’T kNow whEn to StOP

He always finds some nitty gritty detail he absolutely needs to fix during his regular practice and stays after hours to work on it

He can train for hours without realizing it, before he knows it it’s midnight, he’s the only soul left in the building and his legs are dying

Other times, when you arrive home to find your boyfriend missing, you immediately head over to his gym and drag him home

During a match, he dives down to save a ball only to crash on the ground awkwardly and injure his shoulder

He’s forced to leave the court after failing to convince the referee and his coach that he was fine and he was absolutely livid

Not at them but at himself

He thinks that the injury was a sign that he was slacking off or losing his edge

He goes off on a tangent about how he needs to practice more and how he can’t afford to waste time

Nobody could calm him down until you arrived

After you got there and talked some sense into him, he finally complies and lets himself be lead away to the infirmary

He’s down in the dumps for at least a week, usually found grumbling at the tv, unsure of what to do with this unprecedented free time

But soon after a lot of talks lectures with you and food sent by his brother, he starts going back to his usual old self

He’s absolutely basking in this extra attention from you, he secretly loves being doted on

It used to really irk him when he finds he can’t do certain things with his injury like opening a jar

But once it dawns on him that you’re there, he will totally abuse this just to get your attention and to bother you

“Hey, can you help me open the fridge?”

“You can do that by yourself.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON’T HELP YOUR INJURED BOYFRIEND.”

Whenever you’re checking on his shoulder, he always distracts you by kissing your lips or neck while you’re trying to be a good s/o and it always ends up in a makeout session or more

Because he’s got so much more free time, he’s usually found in your shared apartment, clinging onto you while you’re studying waiting for you to finish

“Are you ready to dote on me?”

“No, be patient.”

“>:’(”

When the doctor tell him he’s fully recovered, the first thing he does is lift you in his arms and twirl you around

Sugawara Koushi

Precious bby

This mama bear rarely gets injured, he’s usually the one nursing others

You two are like this wonderful duo with magic curing hands

He absolutely loves that you’re pursuing your dreams of being in the medical field and low-key shows you off to everyone he knows

Especially to his parents, they love you almost as much as they love him don't tell him that tho

He’s really careful while playing because he hates being in pain, like more so than the average person if you get what I mean

While blocking though, he ends up injuring his wrists from the sheer strength of the spike and the not so ideal positioning of his arms

He has tears in his eyes while he’s being brought to the infirmary and your heart literally broke as you watched from the sidelines

He was stuck with a wrist splint for a couple of weeks

Like Atsumu he constantly needs your help to do mundane things like open cans and such

Unlike Atsumu though, he’s less whiny and more distraught over the fact that he’s always being doted on

He isn’t used to being the one taken care of

He always tries not to burden you and always tries to do things by himself

“Koushi! What was that crash I heard?”

“Nothing! Don’t mind me, just focus on your work.”

“WHY ARE YOU COOKING!?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT—”

He broke two plates that day trying to make your favorite meal

Apparently cooking with a splint is pretty difficult, he takes note of this

He becomes guilty when you do things like cook and clean, he tries to help as best he can but you always tell him to just sit back and relax but he jUSt cAn’T

He doesn’t want you to worry about stuff like that because you need to study!! He feels so helpless sometimes

While you’re cooking dinner, you’ll just turn to the side and do a double take when you see him staring at you with wide, concerned eyes

“What?”

“I want to help :(”

He’s literally the living embodiment of this emoji: 🥺

You let him help with little stuff like stirring and watching the pot while you cut the vegetables and stuff

He immediately feels better after this, he wants to feel at least a little bit helpful

At the end of the day, while you two are in bed, he’ll nudge closer to you and pepper your face with kisses

“What was that for?”

“I just love you so much, thank you.”

Nishinoya Yuu

Sorry but everyone at the ER is on a first-name basis with Nishinoya

LISTEN HE’S SO CHAOTIC AND WILD, HE ALWAYS GETS HIMSELF INTO DUMB SITUATIONS

His grandfather didn’t even bat an eye when the school nurse would call him informing him that Nishinoya managed to break his arm during his math exam don’t ask

When he found out about your studies and your job he was so giddy and kept telling you that it was fate and that you two completed each other

He’s literally the proudest boyfriend that you could ever have, always telling everyone about how smart and talented you are

“Yeah, you may be a rocket scientist but you will never be as smart as my s/o!”

“Yuu, what are you doing—”

He loves having a smart s/o, he’s always being wowed by your vast knowledge

You can always find him silently cheering you in the corner while you’re studying

Basically, he’s your number one fan and supporter

Asides from that, he’s also your number one patient

Whenever he gets hurt, you’re the first one he turns to, he tells you it’s good practice and that it’s helping you improve your skills in an attempt to stop you for scolding him

One time, he sprained his elbow while trying to do some new move he saw on tv

Insert vine: I don’t care that you broke your elbow

Except you do care, a lot in fact

He’s lowkey tearing up when being rushed to the infirmary because it hurts but mostly because he just wants to play

You have to be so strict and stern with him

He’s so energetic and bouncy, he definitely doesn’t respond well to being bound with bandages or slings

If it weren’t for you, he probably would have worsened his injuries, but he’s a huge simp so he listens to everything you say…mostly

Since he can’t use his energy for volleyball and sports, he’ll direct that energy towards giving you attention

He becomes sooo affectionate and clingy, he just wants to shower you with love

He gets restless often, whenever he does he’ll plop down beside you and wrap his good arm around your waist while you’re working as a way to remind himself to stay put and to not jump out the window from boredom

“Kiss my boo-boo?”

“What are you? Five?”

Unlike the others, he’s very very open about how thankful he is to have you taking care of him, he would scream it out the window if you would let him

He reminds you every day how blessed he is to have you, at the most random of times actually

“Can you open this bottle for me?”

“Sure.”

“GOD, WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU?”

“CALM DOWN—”

He’s so in love, please save him

1K notes · View notes

a-shakespearean-in-paris · 3 years

Note

I'd love to see your take on Cullen's recovery arc as an alternative analysis! I feel like we're only ever presented with the two options of: "he needs to atone!" Or "he was a victim that needs protection!", neither of which I've ever fully agreed with. I think it's a result of the lack of attention given to his arc in DAI, which leaves a ton of room for interpretation, and results in people swaying towards either camp depending on how sympathetic they are towards him and his history.

I totally agree with this.

The problem with the way Cullen is presented in DAI is that he’s presented in an unambiguously positive light, and as @tokutenshi pointed out in this post (which I do agree with) if your Hawke was hostile to him you don’t get some of his dialogue about questioning Meredith. Additionally if you side with the mages rather than the templars Cullen has some realizations about the Order that you’re not going to hear. It’s too little too late for a lot of people, though I would also argue with what tokutenshi said, he was severely traumatized after the Blight (if you take a female mage Warden in the tower during the Witch Hunt DLC you will get lines that indicate he is suffering from PTSD, notice the lines about him being “twitchy” and “jumpy”) Personally I think we can find a middle ground between Cullen being a victim of manipulation and indoctrination, someone who suffered after experiencing trauma, and someone who works hard in the moment to do some good, whether we can or should call it “atonement” or not. That being said, he does acknowledge in Inquisition that the war against Corypheus is his chance to atone, and he works overtime to the point where it’s commented upon by several characters including the Inquisitor how hard he works.

By the time we meet Cullen in Inquisition a couple of years have passed since the chantry’s explosion. This is where I will be critical of the writing because I do think the game should have better established what exactly Cullen was doing in the time in between, though we get bits and clues from dialogue if you pay attention: He served as Kirkwall’s knight Commander after Meredith died, and he and presumably Aveline’s guard worked to basically repair the city, as Rylen says in Griffon Wing Keep that there was a lot of rubble, a lot of people without homes. Cassandra noticed Cullen’s work and recruited him to the Inquisition. (Also, keep in mind that the Inquisition was originally going to help quell the worst excess of the mage and templar fighting, restore order because the chantry lost control. Then the conclave happened, it went boom, and suddenly the Inquisition’s purpose became far greater than anyone would have expected. So Cullen as Cassandra’s choice of Commander makes total sense to me, considering he was a former templar and bringing him in basically acted as a symbol to any wayward templar, letting them know that there could be another way. But I digress on that part, haha.)

I *think* some people are dissatisfied with Cullen’s “redemption” arc in DAI because we don’t really see him fall on the sword or beat himself up for his past. There’s also no moment where he like, faces a mage he maybe knew in Kirkwall or has to deal with the mages not trusting him. Obviously of course there is nuance there as well as Toku and I mentioned--he wasn’t allowed to heal as much as he should have before being shipped to Meredith. However, here’s an interesting bit of dialogue you can get if you pick the right options after Perseverance if you tell him he doesn’t need lyrium:

Quiz: The man you were. You can’t pretend like he never existed.

Cullen: Not even if I wanted to. But I’m here now. I can make that mean something.

Cullen knows he screwed up. What’s more, he doesn’t want to forget he screwed up. But he lives in the moment to make things right. Blackwall’s arc actually shows him falling on the sword and wanting to atone, versus with Cullen it’s implied he has come to terms with his screw ups off screen. He doesn’t continuously beat himself up, he does what he can for the Inquisition to the point where if the Quiz tells him to go back on lyrium for the better of his soldiers, he does, knowing it just may kill him. There is also limited dialogue that challenges his views which turns some people off, but I know for my Inquisitor she’s very much about the now and what they both can do in the now. I won’t blame anyone who wants to be able to challenge him more, but frankly I find the fact he doesn’t continuously fall on the sword or beat himself up interesting.

All that being said, I do think of his arc as more of one of recovery versus redemption. And to be frank I’m kind of critical of the term “redemption” and what makes good redemption arcs or not. Someone having a “redemption arc” seems to imply that there’s only one road to the top of the mountain when maybe redemption is something you should always strive for? But as for the “recovery” arc: the chantry, IMO, purposely devoids both mages and templars of a personhood or life outside the order and Circle and treats them as objects. Many templar recruits are children and are basically indoctrinated to believe they serve the Maker and they are needed and that they do the Maker’s will. There’s an interesting bit of dialogue you can get if your character is a warrior and talks to Cullen about the templar spec, basically if the Quiz says “templars serve the Maker, I’d do the same.” Cullen basically replies, “uh, yeah, that’s not going to make you righteous, believe me,” implying this was the way he once indoctrinated to think, but he no longer believes it so. Templars are given lyrium for their abilities, but also to placate them, something Alistair says in DAO.

After Kirkwall Cullen sees where the Order is going, gets an offer from Cassandra and decides that if he removes the “part that kept [him] chained,” he would find his own purpose again. (He says this is your Quiz makes him take lyrium.) In Inquisition we learn he always wanted to protect people. (Our local mind reader Cole says “some templars want to only protect, like Cullen” if you ask him about templars.) And as a kid living in rural nowhere Ferelden, he saw the templars as protectors. Why I interpret his arc as more about recovery than redemption all has to do with Perseverance and the way you as the player can handle it: You can either let him know he can start over, he can endure and one day find a life of his own away from duty and battle, or you can make him take it and thus let him remain indoctrinated to what the chantry taught him, that there is nothing outside of duty and battle. It comes down between a choice of “you are leashed to what the chantry made you till you die” to “you are more and you can recover and make your own life,” which he does do by Tresspasser, romance or not. At the end of the game if you keep him off lyrium he basically thanks the Inquisitor for giving him a chance, letting him know he could be more. Additionally, a lyrium free Cullen in Tresspasser speaks of meeting his siblings again, developing a relationship. If you make him take it forever he refuses to see them.

I could also see the arc as one of faith, and finding it again. If you keep him off lyrium the prayer in the chantry he speaks is one of quiet reassurance and finding strength through his faith, but if you make him take it the prayer is “blessed are the peacekeepers” and it’s uttered desperately as if he is trying to believe it. He also mourns how far he fell. All this to say that I find it very interesting his writer focused his personal quest around the lyrium and what lyrium represents rather than say, him meeting a mage who lived in Kirkwall or something and him trying to atone to them.

When I wrote my post about why Cullen gets so much fandom related wank I got a lot of different responses that echoed the same thing about Cullen’s arc not getting a lot of attention. I think there is a lot of good writing there with his personal quest, but his writing doesn’t fill in every single gap---not to mention people are going to have vastly different experiences on how they played the games till Inquisition. And my examples of dialogue are things you may not get if you don’t pick the right options. And heck, some people only have played Inquisition.

So, I think me calling his arc in Inquisition a recovery arc has partially been not me trying to justify why I like him, but analyze a differing way a character who has screwed up in the past is written. Blackwall’s arc is a true redemption arc IMO. Cullen’s isn’t so clear cut as a redemption arc, but at the end of the day it is truly about him finding his own purpose again, which leads me to lean more toward calling it a “recovery arc.”

#cullen rutherford #replies #thanks!#toku I was going to expand your post but I got this ask and thought I'd talk about it here #I once wrote more about this in a longer post that expanded on it being a recovery arc I think #but this is a summary #resjade #long post #I had a screenshot of the quote but the post was already too long lol

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annicaax · 3 years

Text

You're The Only one

Ikevamp Fanfic. by Me.

Lecomte X Reader.

Word count: 1167

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Rating: All

Written in MC/your POV. Just like in the game. Hope ya like.

----

I bring the specially made cinnamon pancakes to the dining table. Sebastian carries the other dishes and as we serve breakfast I'm surprised by how we have all started out without le Comte.

I know he's gone on a short trip out of Paris for a night. I know but still I imagine his smile, and grace and nearly forget that I'm pushing some dozen pancakes into Arthur's plate.

"Good gracious! Food, why, a great way to get a bloke to swoon, eh?"

I barely notice him smirk, stunned as he takes my hand lifting it up to his face.

Oh. I can pull my hand back. I'm sure that's what I'd have done but a larger hand envelops mine and pulls it away from Arthur's lips!!

This touch-- these fingers--- Comte!!

I turn my head and there's my beloved, the charismatic smile still in place, he's quite the imposing figure standing next to me.

“Arthur-- even if you must jest, you should learn not to wander anywhere near my lady. ma cherie is mine. Mine and mine alone…”

I blush. It's not everyday that he's this direct. My embarrassment comes in sync with a couple of wolf whistles.

"Way to go, hondje! Never thought the day would be here when I'd hear such sappy love declarations from comte, let alone witness his possessive streak,” Theo says with a huge grin

“I think it's cute,” says Vincent in an angelic tone.

Isaac stays embarrassed, biting into his apple. I'm glad these are the only ones near the table.

“Comte beat me to it,” Arthur now says with a dramatic sigh, letting Sebas destack his plate.He adds, with a pout, “I’m capable of eating more pancakes, though…”

“You're not getting any!” Theo narrows his eyes at Arthur, “also Sebas... Pass me the syrup. Though I’ve just witnessed a sickening sweet love act, I do need some syrup on my pancakes.”

Oh my! Theo never holds back, does he? And Sebas is something. His face is still stoic. But I do say there's a hint of a smile on his face. I know that. I can detect that after working alongside him for this long.

And ah, my cheeks warmup, noticing that le Comte is next to me and his hand is still resting on mine. I try to pull away, feeling Theo's and everyone's eyes on me. But le Comte tightens his hold on me.

With a swift tug, he pulls me to him. And my world shrinks and spins around me.

In the next instant we find ourselves in the garden.

Whoa! I can't believe he'd use his powers to get away from some healthy dose of teasing. Oh, well, I wanted to get away too...but how long can I run? How will I run? That’s our home… and those are our friends!

But I’m still happy! All of a sudden, I feel giddy, realizing that I'm with my beloved after so long.

“I can't believe... Was that shadow warping? When did you come? Also, that was my first time experiencing that, so it's awesome!”

I grin at Saint Germain, but he only looks away with a sigh.

“Ma Cherie, there's a lot I can do… a lot that you don’t know…”

I want to ask him to show me… show me everything he is, but he goes on to talk.

“I can't show you everything, but you saw something just now. This is my first time... in four hundred years... I can't believe I've turned into this… someone who's desperately hopelessly in love…”

I’m speechless. My heart beats wildly out of joy, but he is hell bent on giving me more and more happiness.

“But I believe I'm only like this because it's you, ma cherie... You're my only one.... even if it were to take a thousand more years, I'm sure this is how things are destined to be… you and me… together like this.”

What more can I say? I love, love my Comte.

I smile at him overcome with love. I barely stop myself from hugging him. I want to say something, anything, but words fail me, and he takes this opening, speaking again.

“So you better take responsibility for what you did, ma Cherie…”

The confident gentleman, the hedonistic vampire is back again. Saint Germain takes my hand, dips elegantly and goes down on one knee. He pulls out something from his pocket.

My heart thunders! Is this what I think it is… A… a proposal?

No. But instead what I see is a glittering watch made out of gold and pearls, with an attached charm bracelet. It's so beautiful.... I'm in awe.

This isn’t a ring. There’s time for that, but this gift is equally lovely. I do love when he pampers me. I smile and accept my gift, watching him put it on me.

“Thank you."

I whisper my thanks, looking him in the eye.

“Thanks again, but I'm very much capable of protecting myself…”

I remind him just in case, and he presses his lips to my knuckles.

“I know,” he smiles ruefully, golden eyes narrowing, glittering bangs of gold cascading down in his forehead. He looks gorgeous in the sunlight. “...but I couldn't stop. I'm a man who loves you, ma Cherie.”

This man, he knows how to make me go weak in the knees. I'm flattered but I also want to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Mon Cher…” I lean down so I can whisper the words into his ear, “I'm a woman who loves you too…”

I kiss his forehead and emphasize my words. “Forever until eternity.”

Le Comte freezes.

“What brought this on…”

He murmurs, but I kiss his cheek before he can recover.

“What brought this on? Well, maybe the answer is love... I love you ... I missed you…”

This time I press a kiss to his lips

“Mmm--”

Still knelt before me, he makes a noise. He’s like a prince out of a fairytale! My only prince! Ah, and I know it's my time to get away. My cheeks heating up, I attempt to pull away. But my hand is still in his--

“I remember I have to water the flowers.”

I try to make my escape, but he tightens his hold on my hand.

Rising up to his feet, he pulls me so I fall against his chest.

“Think you can water the plants after you've tempted me, ma cherie?”

Comte... The mischievous glint in your eyes, oh my God, what have I gotten myself into...

I wonder this, and his lips touch mine. I close my eyes and I feel myself fade away-

Together... We shadow warp... To…

(Now it's your turn to imagine where Comte took you)

***

There. I'm a lazy ass writer but I've been writing fanfiction since I’m a kid, and I’ve already graduated. Lol. Wrote something after so long. I know it's a fluffy tidbit. I don't know if ya guys like it but as someone who's waiting for his English route (spoiler free) this is what came to my mind. I hope y'all liked it. Comments are welcome. Reblog And Heart it if you like. Thank you! I do hope to write more in future. If ya guys want it/like it.

#ikevamp fanfic #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp saint germain fanfic #saint germain #saint germain x reader #fanfiction #ikemen series

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0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

a letter to my lover | lee donghyuck

♡ dear y/n, i’m writing you this letter in the hopes that it gets to you well. our relationship has been tumultuous, that’s for sure, and i thought it was high time i wrote you a letter detailing all the times you said "i love you" that are important to me.

genre: haechan x reader, heavy angst, supernatural!haechan, deity!haechan

warnings: suggestive content, mentions of religion, profanity

word count: 2.1K

tagging: the lovely @roses-of-the-moon ♡ @mora134340 // @nct-writers

Dear Y/N,

The first time you said “I love you”, you were worshipping me.

The temple lay just east of the large town you resided in, about an hour's drive from the coast. People from your area traditionally followed a polytheisic religion and worshipped the gods and goddesses of life, death, earth, air, fire, water, time, the sun, and the moon. Temples dedicated to the gods and goddesses were scattered around the peninsula, although some temples saw a lot more visitors than others. This Sun temple was larger and older than typical Sun temples, and the red, yellow, and orange colour scheme from the outside flowed nicely into the high, spacious interior. There were pews dotted around the room for people to sit on, but the temple was empty given the late time of night, save for you.

You stood in front of a ten-foot tall bronze statue of myself, or what you mortals assumed my true form looked like, crumpled on your knees and head bent in reverence. It was unusual for me to see followers at my temple so late at night, but I really couldn’t blame you if you had come to simply stare at my statue - turns out bronze really is my colour. As I realised you were muttering something softly, I remember creeping closer towards you and sitting on one of the pews close by. Not so close that you noticed my presence, but near enough that I could hear what you were saying. “I love you, but…”. You uttered my name - once, twice, three times - followed by a number of curse words strung together in an order that I had never been witness to before.

Using my powers, I lit the lamp on the wall beside us to indicate I had heard you, and you proceeded to tell me a story of how your uncle’s farm was failing due to a perpetual drought that hung over the area and wouldn’t leave. Upon hearing your admission, I was astounded. I was one of few Sun deities, who essentially reported directly to the presiding Sun God. If there was a drought that I wasn’t aware of, then I wasn’t doing my job properly, and that was an issue.

Ever since you had visited my temple that one evening and let forth a tidal wave of insults and curses towards me, rather than admiring my bronze look-alike, I was intrigued by you. I hadn’t revealed myself to you that night - not quite yet - but there was something about you that fascinated me. Whether that was your stubbornness or your determination to fix your uncle’s farm, I don’t know, but I wanted to find out more. Showing myself to you right now was out of the question - there’s no way you would believe I was the famous Haechan, Sun deity that everyone worshipped - I had to earn your trust. So I started with the largest issue first; resolving this drought issue that was ruining your uncle’s farm. It really was a complex problem with a simple solution - a little gold flashed a friendly Water deity’s way and voila! No more drought.

The second time you said “I love you”, we had just finished making love on a public beach.

I had solved your drought calamity, but still found myself drawn to you. So I did what I do best - using the sun to my advantage. At first, I would simply manipulate the light from the sun so that you walked in the shade on hot days. When you were cold, I made sure there was always a warm burst of energy by your side. I remember the day I finally found the courage to present myself to you. Not my true form, of course, that would be firmly against deity rules, but I found a human male who suited me perfectly. He was young, around the same age you were, and had fiery orange hair and bronze, sunkissed skin that reminded me of my statue. Fitting, really.

The day we finally spoke it was hot, the Sun God had had a disagreement with the Life Goddess and appeared to be tormenting her creations. I was sitting on a bench, secluded under a willowy tree, and it was fairly straight forward for me to direct some of the sun’s rays directly onto your uncovered head, sending you fleeing into the shade of the tree. I made conversation with you, charming as I am, and I instantly knew you were taken with me.

As the months progressed, we spent more and more time together. Your uncle’s farm recovered, and he was able to regrow a lot more crops in the dampened soil. We spent all our free time together - after helping out at your mother’s shop you would come visit me at my temple, and we would share the rest of the evening together. The more I got to know you, the more mortal you made me feel. We celebrated your village and religious holidays together. We went shopping at the markets together. We even developed a favourite pastime, travelling to the beach and spending the day in the cool ocean, and I was always there to warm us up as we lay on the sand, hand in hand.

I’d never entertained the idea that I may one day feel so at home with a human by my side, but this was quickly becoming the future I envisioned, and even yearned for, for myself. That day at the beach, when we were all alone, and you told me you loved me for the second time, I knew I felt the same way. There was just something about you, Y/N, that kept me drawn to you. I was almost ready to tell you what I was, a sun deity - but little did we know that would be the beginning of the end for us.

The third time you said “I love you”, I told you I didn’t love you back.

A lie, really.

In the past, I had told you my name was Haechan, but after you laughed and said there was no way I was named after the Sun deity, you started calling my vessel Donghyuck. At first I hated it. It was strange being referred to as anything other than Haechan. Soon though, I realised how freeing it was having another name, another identity. Haechan became what the other gods, goddesses, and deities referred to me as when I was in their presence, in my true form, but Donghyuck was what you called me when I was with you. And I liked that.

A few weeks after our latest beach date, you asked me to become your boyfriend, and I accepted. You were over the moon, but I felt strange because we were now in a serious relationship while my whole identity was a lie.

The day I sat you down and told you who I was, who I really was, I was worried. I certainly wasn’t terrified, by any means, but I was anxious that you would simply laugh me off again and not take me seriously. I loved you so much, and I didn’t want to live a life of deceit. To your credit, you handled the news pretty well, at least at first. You said the more you thought about it, the more aspects of me made sense. The ever-hot skin. The shadows that protected us from the sun. The fact it was never truly dark when I was around. It made sense, and you accepted it. And then you started asking me the hard questions. How long would I live for? Was I immortal? Would you die before I did?

Would I give up my immortality for you? When I bluntly refused, the arguments started. Me being a deity hadn’t caused us problems before, but now you knew the truth it meant we couldn’t even have a normal conversation without the topic being brought up. Sure, I had been a Sun deity for centuries, but I couldn’t just give up this role I had been blessed with. You also weren’t willing to give in, either, saying I had virtually assimilated into human culture and should therefore be the one to change. After one particularly heated night of arguing, you said you loved me. I told you I didn’t love you back, and I still remember the way tears silently pooled in your eyes as you stared at me, begging me to say it wasn’t true. Which it wasn’t, of course it wasn’t Y/N, but the truth was at the time I didn’t think I loved you enough to give up my life.

The last time you said “I love you”, we were breaking up.

“I love you, but we can’t be together,” are the exact words you said. We were in my temple, sitting on the pew right in front of the statue where we’d first met, and we were breaking up. You were unwilling to give your life up for me, and I was unwilling to give my life up for you. I loved you so much, but it seemed like the only option. Your stubbornness and determination, which first attracted me to you, was now causing me so much heartache I thought my chest was going to rip in half. You only made things worse by the way you held me that evening, your hands in mine, and then your hands wrapping around my neck and pulling me close so you could place a soft kiss on my tear-stained cheek. That was the last time we talked to each other.

You stayed around in your town for a few months after our break up. I know, because I was always with you. Not physically, but my presence was always there. On the hot summer days with the sun beating down on you and your friends, in the extra stretch of shade that seemed perfectly shaped to fit you, in the bursts of hot air when the nights were particularly cold, I was there. And I know you knew I was too; the sad, regretful smile that graced your face said so much more than words ever could.

After we broke up, I heard of a phrase you mortals are particularly keen on: “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Sure, and absence also makes the heart realise how fucking stupid it was to break yours.

I don’t know why you left town. Maybe it was to get a job in a bigger city, or to travel the country. Or maybe it was to get away from the constant reminder of us. Either way, you left without a word, and because I am essentially bound to my temple and the surrounding area, I couldn’t follow you. I still think about you daily, Y/N. I wonder where you are, what you’re doing, whether you would give me another chance. Your uncle’s farm is doing well, by the way. I make sure I check in every couple of weeks to make sure the ground is not too dry, and the plants are getting enough sunlight. The beach we used to visit is still as beautiful as ever. It’s a little more lonely without you by my side, though.

I miss you heaps, Y/N. That’s why I’m writing you this letter. I don’t know where you live now, so I doubt I’ll ever be able to send it to you. I never realised how monotonous my existence was until you left. I am worshipped by so many mortals, but they only come to me when they require something. And they never pray to me, at least not the real me I discovered when I was with you. You, however, came to me because you liked me - dare I say, because you loved me - and you saw me for my personality, not for what I could offer you. I constantly think about that day, the last time you said you loved me. I would do anything to go back and change the outcome, to go back and tell you that I would become mortal for you.

It’s been a few years since then, and I don’t even know whether you would want me back. We all make mistakes, Y/N, but by far my biggest mistake was losing you. I hope that, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you’re happy, and you think of me sometimes.

Forever regretful,

Donghyuck.

#neowritingsnet #cznnet #nct-writers #dreamwritersnet #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #haechan #haechan nct #nct haechan #lee donghyuck #haechan x reader #haechan imagine #haechan scenario #supernatural nct

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camrensrealbish · 4 years

Text

Blame it on the fandom

I’ve been thinking about the podcast appearance a lot in the last few days. I have questions for you, Lauren.

Promotion and Camren headlines

It’s interesting when you look at the ways they used Camren for promotion. In the early Fifth Harmony days, to bring LGBT teenagers to the fandom. Then quietened it with Brad and Austin PRs. Then “I found the girl” was released. And then finally Lauren’s coming out followed by the “never real... ever” tweet. Tweet that btw made headlines and brought Lauren’s name into mainstream, ensuring that the first bit of information general public learns about her is that she was not in a relationship with Camila Cabello.

And now apparently they’re doing it again, use Camila to promote Lauren, while simoultanously slamming Camila’s gay rumors. Very clever if you ask me.

Toxicity

Are you seriously trying to tell me that there is more blame in teenagers who wrote fanfics, that in people who used two girls’ relationship in whatever way they wanted to sell a product?

The fandom shouldn’t be to blame, but you know who? The management and the label. People in control of her career and image. People who didn’t give a f*ck about her mental health and didn’t offer any help or support when she was starting her career in LA and everything was happening at once and closeted Lauren started to panic. The people who were “making decisions on regular basis to fuck them over, to make them literal slaves”. Most importantly, people, who’ve worked in the industry for years and knew where all of this would lead to and how to manipulate the story.

And ok. Maybe Lauren didn’t know better in 2013/14 and the fandom, who was pointing out all the moments her feelings were showing seemed like an obvious target, because she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings for Camila and her internalized homophobia. But am I really supposed to believe, that nothing has changed since then and she’s learnt nothing?

That Lauren, who’s outspoken about the contracts and the bullshit of music industry, even when she’s not supposed to, that this Lauren would blame the fandom and not the people in charge?

Fake it till you make it

That was some great acting on Lauren’s part (a little bit worse on Becky’s). Girl, maybe you should be the next one with acting career?

I wonder how many times she rehearsed her speech. Because without a doubt, it was prepared with her team and thought through thoroughly. What was our biggest argument against them saying Camila and Lauren were not dating? The way they look at each other and some of Camila’s slips (”Mine’s Lauren”,”Who are you kissing under the mistletoe?”, “Why do you assume it’s a boy”). So they made sure to take all our arguments away.

I also did not have that connection with her. Camila and i were just very good friends at that time, you know what i'm saying, and we respected each other. When each other would talk we would look at each other, we had love for each other, like genuine friendship, you know what i'm saying, and in the latinx culture i don't know about you, but growing up I was very affectionate with all of my friends i was very, like, we would tell each other shit that yeah, maybe you would think we were gay if you were listening over, but we weren't, you know what i'm saying.

It made me really angry, because seriously? You’re gonna use heteronormativity to shove Camila deeper into the closet?

Why now?

That was the first question that popped in my mind right after I recovered from the shock of hearing Camila’s name. Why now after 3 years of ignoring Camila’s existence?

LJ1 is coming. Album with a lot of songs about Camren in it, that you can easily connect with Camila’s side of the story. Why am I so certain about it? Because she made sure to incorporate Camren timeline into the relationship with Lucy.

I was like, I need to own this, you know? Like, of course she can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with her really, you know? That’s traumatizing. As someone who was really queer and accepted that about herself, and I loved that about her. She was so self-assured and who she really was and I really wanted to be like that but I couldn’t give that at the time, so I had to deal with the pain of losing her because of that. Then she came back into my life and we had a very toxic relationship, because neither one of us was healed enough to be together, but we loved each other so much… that happened when I was 18. I wanted to be with her so badly that I didn’t even give her time or me time to even know if this was what I wanted or what she wanted. I was like “no, now we’re gonna be together” so I went all in and was like we’re going to be in this relationship. And I remember my mom being like… She knew, but she also – again, there was a lot of toxicity between this girl and I, this was not a healthy relationship, this was not anything to romanticize what I went through, but also, it was my story.“

Started as friends with benefits, Camila wanted more, but Lauren wasn’t confident in her sexuality, so they broke up and got back together as a couple in 2014. That’s exactly what we were speculating was going on with Camren then, what Camila confirmed in her songs (Feel it twice, Should’ve said it) and even mentioned in Zach Sang interview.

They really decided to sink the ship this time. They’re not playing anymore, so I’d get prepared for a big shitshow in Shawmila circus, let’s pray it’s not marriage.

#camren #camila cabello #lauren jauregui

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