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lillianastras · 3 years

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“Hit Me With Your Best Shot” -- The Darkling x Reader

Pairing: The Darkling x Reader (no surprise here)

Warnings: none, I think

Summary: The Darkling and his second spar in the morning, after he starts to doubt her abilities have worsened over time.

A/N: I feel so great that I actually used my own experience in martial arts for writing this. Also, I’m so empowered by all the great feedback I’m getting from you guys. If anyone has requests, please send those my way!

“Rule number one,” he says, “Only take a break after saying you need a break. Otherwise I won’t know and will wipe the ground with you.” Her eyebrows shoot up and he has to fight a smile, glad he caused the reaction. “Rule number two,” he continues, hands behind his back, his wrists wrapped in cloths, to numb the harshness of his blows. “No Small Science. Whatever you do to me, you do it with your own two hands.” “That was just plain filthy.”

This time Aleksander grits his teeth, not appreciating the interruption. She is standing in the middle of the training grounds, arms crossed in front of her chest, the same irritated expression on her face since she had woken up. He could tell she was looking around, looking for an opportunity, an excuse to leave. Yet, there is little chance that anyone else is up this early, except by the pair of guards by the gate.

“The Drüsskele attacks are getting more aggressive than ever,” he hisses , trying his best not to raise his voice at her. “You need to know how to defend yourself when they hold your hands apart.” It’s not happening again, he thinks. The years have passed, but even time didn’t manage to blur the memory of Luda bleeding out on the ground. “I know how to defend myself!” She hisses back, and the Darkling gives her a cold stare.

“Ivan said he managed to tackle you to the ground several times yesterday.”

Her lips curl in disdain, but not for Ivan, he knows. She likes the Heartrender probably as much as he does, which came as a surprise at the start. He is rude and harsh, but even he manages to crack the occasional smile to two in her presence. That’s just how she is.

No, he thinks, the grimace just proves the truth in his words. Her skills had deteriorated, and she needs to get herself together. For her own good.

“Ivan is bigger than me,” she mumbles, but her eyes are staring at the ground. Even she realises this is a poor excuse, if any excuse at all.

“They are always going to be bigger than you. And I might not be there to have your back at all times.” It might not matter, he thinks bitterly, and his hands ball into fists, even if I am.

“Alright.” The easy agreement comes as a surprise, although easy might be an understatement. She gave her best efforts to keep him in bed this morning with gentle caresses, suggestive whispers and kisses down his neck. But still, he had dragged her outside as quickly as he could and she was sour ever since. “Let’s see if you get to wipe the ground with me.” She adds and he knows he managed to annoy her.

She takes her battle stance, her guard up and the Darkling sighs, eyes turning to look around. The sun is starting to rise higher in the sky and he realises he has little time left, just because no, Aleksander, you cannot ruin my reputation by throwing me around in front of everyone. Soon, people would start waking up, ready to start the day and they would have to leave training for tomorrow, when he would have to bring himself to say no to her advances again and… No. They have to start today.

She raises her eyebrow at him, challenge barely veiled, and he takes a deep breath, letting the thrill of the upcoming fight wash over him.

His first punch is not that fast, he knows, and she manages to dodge it with ease. Her elbow slams in his chest in return and was most probably going do force the air from his lungs if he hadn’t tensed. He is forced a step back. When he looks at her, there’s a small cold smirk growing on her face. She isn’t that out of practise after all. The Darkling squints his eyes and starts to pay more attention.

This time she doesn’t wait for him to charge, and when she aims her foot for between his legs, he knows he had touched a nerve. He blocks the kick with his forearm, but he doesn’t bother stop the grin that is slowly stretching on his face. Quick as a cat, he closes the distance between them, taking a tight hold of her wrists, their faces so close she could head-butt him in the nose if she wanted to.

“Is that why you’re so irritable all morning,” he asks, letting out a quiet grunt when she stomps on his foot, but he doesn’t let go. “Because I wouldn’t sleep with you?” This time he manages to move his foot in time and she groans as she misses. “For real?”

“No,” she answers quickly, too quickly, and he grins even wider, because her reaction is so petty, that he can’t really help himself. “You’re putting way too much faith in your ability to —”

He doesn’t let her finish and puts his foot behind hers, giving her a harsh push. She looses her balance and falls ass first on the muddy ground, shock written on her beautiful face.

He grins down at her, reaching out a hand to help her up. She finally comes back to her senses and looks around, her pants and shirt far from clean, mud covering her hands. She grits her teeth and whispers something under her breath, and Aleksander recognises Ivan’s name, followed by a string of curses. She then glares up at him and stands up on her own, ignoring his open hand.

“Again,” she demands, squinting her eyes against the reddish strays of the morning sun. The Darkling attacks again, this time not holding back as much as the first time.

He doesn’t realise how much time passes, punches delivered and blocked from both of them, until they are both panting messes, sweat dripping from their foreheads and sticking strands of hair to their skin. Aleksander allowed himself a moment of distraction, glancing around the training grounds. The palace was slowly coming back to life, voices heard from inside and the occasional kefta-clad figure running around the place.

“Scared someone will see that you’re getting your ass kicked?” Her guard is up and he can’t see the shit-eating grin that is plastered on her face, but he can practically hear it. It’s amazing what an hour of good sparring can do for one’s mood.

“You wish,” he calls back. “Final round?”

“I thought you’ll never ask.”

A smile creeps its way on the Darkling’s face. He takes slow, careful steps to the side, circling her, and her eyes follow him, not even blinking. Yet she is too focused on his movements that she doesn’t notice him close the distance at all. Just like he intends.

She is so surprised by the sudden attack, that she barely fights back when he grabs her wrist and gives her a harsh tug. He bends it behind her back in a swift motion, enough to trap it between his body and hers.

His free hand goes straight for her throat, fully pressing her back against him.

She tries to wriggle out of his grasp, but he presses her forearm slightly upwards and she hisses in pain, giving the hand that is wrapped around her throat a few quick taps, to let him know she surrenders. He stops the pressure on her arm, but doesn’t let go just yet. He leans in, his breath tickling her ear. “Not too bad,” he whispers, and he has to remind himself that they are out in public, “but you still have much to learn.”

She finally releases her, and grins when she turns around and her eyes are a little hazy. She takes a deep breath and when her gaze finds his, she shakes her head at his smirk, her hand rubbing her wrist to dissolve any pain.

“Careful General,” she lowers her voice to a whisper and theatrically looks around, as if to make sure no one is listening. “Someone might actually see you smile.” She sighs. “Can we call this a draw?”

He outright laughs at her audacity. “A draw? You didn’t win even one round!”

“I disagree.” She shakes her head and gives him a cocky raise of her eyebrow and a wave of her hand.“Plus that last one was hardly fair.”

His gaze hardens. Even though the last round really was more playful than aggressive, he had managed to disarm her and have the upper hand after all. If it wasn’t his hand around her throat, she’d be dead. She needed the practice.

As though she reads his mind, she rolls her eyes. “I won’t admit that you were right.”

He snorts a humourless laugh. He doesn’t really expect her to. “But we continue tomorrow.” It’s neither a request, nor a question. It’s an order from a General to his warrior.

She sighs and he knows she’s about to murmur some complaint. Shockingly, gives in with a shake of her head and after a long observation of her clothes, ruined from the mud, she mutters a quiet. “You’re the boss.”

He grins. “I’m the boss.”

#shadow and bone #sab #shadow and bone fanfiction #the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling imagine #aleksander morovoza #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #six of crows #six of crows fanfic #soc #ben barnes #ben barnes imagine #ben barnes fanfiction

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problematicfavesareproblematic · 3 years

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NSFW with Chuck Grant

~ ~ ~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Charles Grant is a walking example of “acts like a badass, is actually a softie” bc BOY, IS HE HARD (lol) TO GET A READ ON.

When you first start fucking, he doesn’t really have the instinct to stick around after and soak up the afterglow- mostly bc that’s not the dynamic that any of his previous relationships operated under, but also bc he’s like Lieb and doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and potentially having you reject him. He only confidently leaves the first time, and then he judges whether to stay or not on how you look at him as he makes to get dressed after the second time you boink. If you want your space, he’ll go and be back the next day as long as you let him, but if you look even a little bit offended or hurt, he’s getting his ass back in that bed and doing whatever he can to get that sad look out of your eyes.

When he does stay, he’s down to give you whatever he can manage.

He’s all for slowly kissing you while trailing his fingertips up and down your side, but if you just want to sleep beside him he is more than cool with it (he’ll probably still pet you a lil bit after you fall asleep bc he’s soft for you but shh shh shh don’t tell anyone). The only thing he isn’t very good at doing is pillow talk, especially right after sex. He’s too worried about saying the wrong thing and fucking up what he’s managed to establish with you.

It isn’t until after he’s shot that he realizes how nice it feels to have someone else take care of him, and when you do so after sex it solidifies the fact that you don’t see him as a burden- you want him and you want to stay. Thank god, too. He doesn’t think he could recover without you (again, not that he’d ever tell you that)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your AhhhhhhHSSSSssssSSSSSs!!!!!!

Oh wow, look at you- owner of the cutest butt he’s ever seen. Can he put his hands on it? Can he squeeze it? Please please puh-lease can you let him watch it jiggle as he fucks you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve made each and every single one of his dreams come true.

He doesn’t discriminate in his love for butts- he’s an equal-opportunity appreciator of the Majesty of the Female Ass™. If it changes size throughout your relationship, he’ll love it even more. Absolutely shameless.

On himself? He likes his legs- especially his thighs.

He likes how strong they are, despite how much he hates Sobel for getting them to their current strength re: Currahee. But he gets over it quickly bc oh wow is he happy with their endurance while trying to keep up with you, both sexually and otherwise. The day he realized you could ride yourself to orgasm on them was the day he died and went to heaven and was sent back to sin again.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He likes cumming on your pubic mound and then watching it slide down your pussy, thank you very much. If you guys are trying for kids or in a position where you don’t have to worry about not having kids, he’ll cum inside of you happily but oh wow he likes watching it slide down your lower lips. BONUS POINTS if he gets to catch it on his thumb and either stick it in your mouth OR circle your clit with it in order to get you off one more time.

Also, you asking him where he wants to cum on you gets him hot under the proverbial collar.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’d do literally anything for you if you’d let him put his finger in your ass. He will genuinely kill an individual of your choice if you let him put his cock there instead. What a perv (jk it takes a lot of vulnerability for some people to convey their wants and desires to their partners plz remember that this has been a PSA).

The one thing he’ll never actually tell you about... EVER is that for a little while after meeting you for the first time in Georgia, he started hooking up with a girl who he didn’t realize (until much later) bore a striking resemblance to you. He’d had to end the relationship when he straight-up called out your name when he came (he was a lil drunk, just tipsy enough to slip up) and full-on booked it out of there bc not only had he pissed the girl off, but his shout had woken up her family- namely her very angry father- and barely escaped with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had two lovers before you, but one of them was really experienced and patient and bless that woman. All he really has to do is learn what you like and he’ll commit it to memory.

And you better be damn sure that he’ll use that knowledge against you/for his benefit.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy style for all the reasons mentioned before. Or reverse cowgirl. Or normal cowgirl. His hands + your butt= dream combo.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He can be goofy, but more than anything else he likes it when you’re goofy. Chuck can get a little too in his own head at times, which can lead to frustration/self-doubt- ESPECIALLY while recovering from his brain injury. You reminding him that sex is meant to be fun does him a huge favor, bc poor lamb will forget that every so often.

So please, nibble at his earlobe in that way that tickles him. Make a quip at the expense of one of your friends. Mock the silly sound of the moan you just let slip out.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s not going to groom unless you tell him to, but he also doesn’t feel like you need to groom for him, either. Chuck’s not afraid to admit how much his personal hygiene has improved since meeting you.

I can promise you that if you’re heavily invested in skin/hair care, he’ll probably be just as into building his own routine.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You always have Chuck’s full and undivided attention during sex, but he won’t necessarily show it unless he gets the guy feeling/you tell him that you want him to be. He’s going to whisper sexy things into your ear, call you a good girl (if not his good girl), and do everything in his power (at the time, at least (he can get a little distracted if you’re doing something particularly sexy)) to make sure you feel just how appreciated you are. He gets more and more confident in his PDA as your relationship progresses, but when it’s just you two? You’ll never meet a bigger sweetheart.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Ok, so I’m deciding for you that mutual masturbation is a thing that you’re both into, m’kay?

I'm also making the executive decision that you really enjoy watching him get himself off. You walked in on him one time, before you’d had sex, and were so stunned that you just watched in rapt attention until awkwardly backing out of the room and slamming the door shut. He’d nearly cum right then and there, and it got you extremely aroused.

The next time you see each other, at some Georgia bar while on a pass, you offhandedly mention that you wish you hadn’t left and FROM THAT DAY ON he always lets you know when he’s feeling the urge and how you’re more than welcome to watch.

And when you do? It’s always a much shorter experience than he intends bc wow how hot are you?

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Frottage! Dry Humping! Grinding!

Allow me to explain:

In the months following D-Day, it was quickly understood that being on the frontlines meant having traditional forms of sex were no longer on the table (hehe) for you two. You’d experimented with rucking your trousers down your thighs, his thighs, both of your thighs, and each time it was a disaster (with one of the worst times ending up falling onto Tab after he’d inadvertently opened a door that Chuck had been fucking you against. Chuck had nearly thrown fists when Tab refused to look aware from your bare ass.)

So yall started grinding- quickly finding out that the bunches of fabric separating your bodies not only led to new forms of stimulation, but it also meant that you both started to utilize dirty talk. There’s something about your trembling lips at his ear, your warm whispers of ‘so good’ and ‘is this really all you need, Chuck? Me, writhing on you like this? What does that say about you, you desperate boy??’

Boy’s bought a one-way ticket to Boner City, USA.

PLUS! What a way to keep warm during Bastogne? Everyone is so jealous that they don’t have a super foxy megahot babe like you to grind upon.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Hmm…..is saying anywhere a cop-out? Because he’s down for anywhere, he’ll follow your lead and rise to the occasion. Such a perv i s2g.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

♫ YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ♫

You have this one eyebrow quirk you do when you’re in the mood, and it just so happens to be similar to the brow raise you give someone trying to outsmart you (which is another turn on for him- you putting some overly-confident sonofabitch back in their place after allowing them to mansplain at you for a little bit. First boner he ever got (since meeting you, obviously) came after witnessing you telling Joe Liebgott to stfu in cutting German after he’d made some off-color comment about your ass.)

So, more often than not, he'll get a little turned on when you argue with people. Maybe even when you argue with him- who knows? not me. (i totally do, and he totally is)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Any sort of pain play, on either of you.

After being in genuine agony for so long while recovering from all of the surgeries, the idea of seeking any more pain out just doesn’t make sense. Chuck also doesn’t want to see you in pain- even if you’re asking him to make you feel it. You’d both suffered through the pain of hunger, frostbite, insect bites, sunburn, and just war in general (all of which had emotionally taken a toll on him bc he felt completely helpless and hated that he couldn’t do anything to take your hurt away).

Sex and pain just doesn’t go together for him. Sorry not sorry

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves having you go down on him, adores the way your eyes look up at him as if you’re challenging him to withstand your beautiful ministrations.

He also is a big fan of going down on you, but PLEASE PLEASE PUH-LEASE ride his face. Good lord.

He’s a sucker (teehee) for it- something about you using him like it’s all you keep him around for gets him hot. You also get this certain snarl on your lips when you are getting close that makes him lose his goddamn mind bc WOW YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE and HOLY SHIT YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? WOWOWOW.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He’ll follow your lead/body language in terms of pace. Most sex sessions shift between both slow and deep as well as fast and hard anyway, so he is a fan of both.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

A necessary evil, as far as Chuck is concerned. He’ll do them, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the spontaneity of them, but he would prefer not to be rushed when he’s with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He was riskier until that one time Tab caught you guys, after which he chilled out. Which you are thankful for, bc you’ve spoken with Lieb’s wife and BOY have those two gotten into some embarrassing situations bc of how risky that kid is.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

The longest he's gone is 4 rounds (it was celebratory sex on VE day, with both of you in the best shape you'd ever been in and too high on relief to listen to your bodies. Ya'll were sore and dehydrated afterward but LORD was it worth it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’d be very open to the idea of toys! On you, he’s automatically cool with it, but it does take him a little bit to get his head around the idea of using toys himself. Again, 40s/50s= somewhat repressed discussion about deviations from the traditional male sexuality- but Chuck is more willing and ready to challenge the societal norms than most. Very sexy of him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He always intends to tease you, but more often than not he gets so turned on that he can’t follow that intention through. You are aware of this and ABSOLUTELY weaponize this knowledge. Get it, fam.

During day-to-day conversation, however, you both tease each other constantly. It’s been like that since you’ve met each other- always making innuendos and one-upping the other and for some reason that never even went away.

When Chuck woke up and the doctors brought you in to see him, the first thing he told you was that you looked terrible. When you’d replied with a sniff, a smile and a “guess the doc’s were full of shit when they said there was no change in your vision, huh?”- Chuck had smiled so hard it hurt.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s a choked moan kind of guy. His face gets all scrunched up and his body shakes and he curses quietly under his breath (it’s vv cute and hot, FYI). he doesn’t even try and be quiet on purpose, he just seems to lose the ability to be vocal, tbh. If he’s drinking or if it’s been a hot minute since yall have gotten to do the do, he’ll probably be a bit louder. Like, maybe one loud cry of your name (see: the letter D)

It doesn’t bother him if you make sounds at all, just so you know. If anything, he likes that he’s a quiet cummer bc then he can hear any and all of your sounds.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

biting your ass while eating you out from behind is *bang* *bang* *bang* *click* *cash register noise*.

Especially if you squeal and smack at him after he does it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Average in all respects but OH MAN does he know how to work it to his advantage. Get ready for a wild ride, my dude.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Higher post-war, tbh. Chuck had had to be on bed rest for so long that he thought he may never get the chance to have sex again, so he totally makes a point to indulge in you every chance that he can get (but he’s cool if you say no, too).

But, as I mentioned in ‘risk’, he’s not going to be humping your leg in public or anything (ok but imagine if you were a dom to his sub and you made him do that holy fuck)

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He does not sleep very well, poor bb. He will be asleep but his mind will be working through all kinds of things ranging from PTSD to what shoes he wanted to wear to dinner with your parents that weekend. Good thing there’s a remedy to this ailment- your pussy sex with you!

While he can’t konk out immediately, he is able to relax. He will allow himself to get lost in the rhythm of your breathing, the weight of your hand on his arm or your arm wrapped around his middle. He will sometimes nuzzle into you as you’re drifting off to sleep, and when you press a kiss to his forehead he finally feels safe.

~ ~ ~

taglist: @sunsetmando @televisionboy @now-im-a-belieber @tvserie-s-world @holdingforgeneralhugs @mrseasycompany @itswormtrain @mrsalwayswrite @happyveday

#band of brothers imagines #band of brothers x reader #chuck grant x reader #problematicfavesareproblematic

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years

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Hue and Cry XX

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), trauma, mentions of death, some elements untagged.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: After weeks on the road, there isn’t much time left to prepare for what comes next.

Note: I typed Chapter 20 and I’m like huh? I never really expected or intended this to be more than a self-indulgent smut fic but one thing led to another and another and another and ... you know what I mean. Anyways, you all have been wonderful with you support and I’m not too cautious to say that this fic has brought me back to the days of Tapestry ;)

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

MASTERLIST

You, Zemo, Peter, and Elina were joined by only several servants in the single cart. Your luggage was sparse, with more gold and food than anything as the baron promised you would have all you needed at your destination.

Ulrich was sent off every other night to seek out news of any repercussions which had come of the scene left at Tower Zemo. All you’d heard since your departure was what you already knew; the castle had been abandoned by its natural occupants and the visiting duke was found unconscious in his bed.

Heinrich’s Creek was jarringly serene after your hectic weeks on the road. Your small party had finally made it up the mountain roads and woven around to the lakeside manor hidden in the sprawling forests. You were met by guards hidden in the wilderness who recognized your leader and let him past without conflict.

Finally still, you helped Melinda and Tess unpack what little you had brought along from the castle as Zemo put Elina to bed. It was only just afternoon but you were all worn from the road. You could take a breath after looking over your shoulder for all that time.

You went to the lake to bathe, the cool water cleansed you of the dust and stench of your journey. The same dress you’d worn that day you face Lord Rogers laid piled on the shore, flecks of his blood melded with the stains of your own sweat. You decided you would burn it as you limped through the dirt and wrapped yourself in the pale robe provided by your host.

You sat on the rock and played with your cane, tracing the carved lines with your thumb. You heard a step but did not turn. You stared instead at the calm ripples in the water and the distant drop off that flowed over the side of the mountains. The shadow neared and you saw Peter’s distorted reflection in the lake. His hair was dirty and mussed, his face streaked as yours had been.

“How did you do it?” he asked.

You spun the cane and crossed one arm across your stomach as you sighed, “I didn’t plan it. He did. I was ready to die.”

He didn’t say a word as he stepped closer to the water. He sat and pulled off his boots and socks. He shoved his feet into the shallows and closed his eyes. He held his head as he thought. As long as you had been on the road, there hadn’t been time to talk. You were all too concerned with going as fast as you could.

“I meant it, Peter, it wasn’t your fault,” you said softly, “I shouldn’t have ever made you think it was.”

“You say that but I can’t believe it,” he opened his eyes and leaned back on the heels of his hands, “I still see the pain in you. I saw it, I heard it when you went after Rogers. It’s in your step, written in your scars…”

“They did that, not you,” you insisted, “if I had any grudge against you, you’d meet the same as Rogers.”

He tapped his fingers in the dirt and chewed his lip. He wiggled his toes in the water as his thoughts wrinkled across his forehead, “how did it all begin?”

You swallowed and felt your throat tighten. You tried not to think of that day. It was so long ago but it was so plain in your mind that it felt as if you could shut your eyes and be back in that castle, pinned between Barnes and the hearth, your hand crawling over the mantle.

“I don’t… know,” you gripped your cane and rested it over your lap, “I never could figure out what I did--”

“You think it was your doing?” he asked.

“No, but… how can you even know what they did?”

“I can guess,” he shrugged, “I can imagine it and it makes my heart clench and my head pound. It makes me want to kill them and do just as bad to myself for being so naive and just thinking I could walk away--”

“It was never your problem, Peter,” you dropped the butt of your cane onto the ground and pushed yourself to your feet, “you were kind to me when I needed it. You did more than you think.”

You bent and grabbed your clothing from the dirt and slipped your feet into your clogs. He watched you sullenly and pulled his feet up as he leaned his arms on his knees.

“If it had been different, could you have loved me?” he asked.

Your heart pulsed and you considered him, “could you have loved a simple maid?”

“That isn’t what I saw and that won’t change,” he said, “so?”

“I think I could have,” you hugged the bundle of clothing against your side, “if it had been different.”

“If,” he said and turned back to the water, “you might not think it, but I owe you and I will pay that debt. That little girl deserves it.”

“Thank you,” you uttered, “I’m sorry--”

“No, don’t be. Ever,” he said, “life never goes as you expect it and we have to live with what could have been, but we can’t change what is.”

“You can still go home--”

“I can’t. Rogers saw me there with you, I fled with you,” he rubbed his palms together, “and I don’t want to live among those wolves.”

You smiled grimly and backed away. You left him to watched the water and wash away his own worries. You made your way back up to the stone manor as you mulled over all that swirled around in your mind; the memories, the fears, the uncertainty.

And you returned again to that day when everything changed. You thought of the story you never told. A story none would know unless you did. A story your daughter deserved; that he deserved.

You put your clothes by the pit just outside the back entrance of the lakeside manse. You carried on into the dim kitchens and through the corridors to the front room where you’d left Zemo. He wasn’t there but the place was too big to go searching. You sat instead by the tall arched windows and looked out onto the blowing grass and swaying trees.

You didn’t know how long it was before he came. You barely heard him as he sat in the armchair to the other side of the sofa and you turned to look at him. He was freshly washed and plaintive. His dark eyes were tired but alert.

“Elina is still fast asleep,” he assured you, “I swear she even got bigger on the road here.”

“She’s growing quickly,” you said as you dropped your legs off the couch and folded your hands.

“You were waiting for me,” he affirmed and you nodded, “you have something to say?”

“I have to tell you… Elina has to know one day, even if I am gone, even if they are too, she has to know,” you felt the dampness in your eyes and inhaled deeply, “and I want you to know.”

He was sombre as he sat and watched you. He steepled his fingers before his lips and inclined his head to show he was listening. You thought of the men who’d never heard you, who never wanted to.

“I was just a chambermaid. You know that. It was… one night I did not see to his chambers and I sent one of the elder maids as she had difficulty with the broom. He found me, he did not like change. Rather, he never liked to feel out of control, I realise that now,” you blinked away tears and shifted on the sofa, “he waited and I thought nothing on it until…”

You sniffed and wiped your eyes in frustration, “I did not want to cry.”

“If you resist, it will be worse,” he stood slowly and came to you, cautiously as if he thought he would hurt you, “here.” He handed you a handkerchief and sat beside you, “go on in your own time.”

You blotted away the tears and gathered yourself, “when he acted on… his lust, I ran. I had to, I had struck him with a vase and I was terrified. I spent weeks in that forest…”

You went on, pausing as you were overwhelmed with bouts of anger, of despair, and panic. He was patient as he listened and you were not so embarrassed of your emotion. When you were done, when you go to all that he already knew, that he’d witnessed, you sat back and hid your face.

“Your tears do not make you weak,” he said, “you are brave to have said it aloud. I admire you, I always have.”

“I told you because I know that I won’t have another chance to tell anyone,” you lowered your hands and leaned back on the sofa, “I know you have your plan and I’m certain it will work but when it comes down to it, I will not stop until he is dead.”

His eyes searched your face. He knew what you meant, he knew what it would entail and that he could not stop you. And he was sad for it.

“Isn’t this what you wanted?” you asked, “vengeance.”

“I do not think I truly weighed the cost,” he said as he hung his head and sagged against the couch beside you, “I do not think I stopped to think on what I--”

“Pardon,” Peter appeared from the corridor, “I’m not meaning to disturb but I thought to retire for the night and have not yet a place to do so.”

“Ah, yes,” Zemo regained his veneer in an instant as he spine straightened and he sat up, “I will have Tess--”

You all paused as you heard hooves and listened as they grew closer and closer. Zemo stood and looked out the window. He frowned and turned back to slip by Peter as he went to the front door. You rose with your cane in hand and watched as he let in Ulrich, the armoured guard was breathless from his ride.

“What is it?” Zemo asked pointedly.

“I… I have word that--”

“By the gods, sit,” Zemo ushered the man inside and offered him a stool.

The man sat and drained the last of his skin before he steadied his breath. He pushed back his sweaty pale hair and leaned back against the wall as he looked between the three of you.

“They sent a messenger ahead. Quicker than the rest of the party,” he spoke carefully, “Lord Rogers cannot ride astride so they make slow progress but we have our men along the border and at court. King Lars has kept his own spies busy.”

“Lars knows I did not act out of foolery. He is a wise king, not daft enough to cast me out,” Zemo waved his hand at the thought, “but you have heard something?”

“Yes, I did confirm it with the king’s men, is what I’m saying,” Ulrich went on, “King Samuel received word of the assault on his man but a second messenger was sent.”

“And?” Zemo prodded.

Ulrich glanced at Peter who wore the same confusion that filled your core. “You are Lord Parker?”

“I am,” Peter answered.

“The second messenger went to Lord Barnes. On his way, he was given orders by Lord Rogers to seize a Benjamin Parker,” he shook his head and was overcome with pity, “the Lord Barnes did have him killed.”

“Killed?” Peter reeled as he grabbed his chest in shock, “No--no--”

“There is more,” Ulrich continued despite Peter’s dismay, “there is this.”

He untucked a folded page from his pocket and held it out. Barnes seal was broken on it and Zemo took it roughly.

“I had the messenger read it after we shackled him,” Ulrich explained, “in case… well, we cannot be certain in these times.”

“You did well,” Zemo said as he read and lowered the parchment. He handed it to Peter as he sighed, “Lord Barnes has taken Parker’s wife. He will keep her alive if we deliver… the maid.”

“I--” Peter stared at the letter and squinted in pain, “I--”

“I won’t let you--” Zemo began.

“I’ll go,” you said, “I’ll go. This is the way.”

“No,” Zemo turned to you, “I have a plan--”

“A plan that will take too long. Me and Peter, we’ll go, I’ll get his aunt,” you said, “I’ll do what I have to to keep Elina safe.”

“You think you truly can--”

“I don’t know what happens after but I know this is what I must do,” you turned to him and grabbed his arm to make him face you, “and I know you will keep our daughter safe.”

You pressed yourself against him and he met your lips in surprised welcome. He held you as you clung to the front of his tunic and drank you in eagerly, reluctant to part as you sensed the gazes of the other men.

“I am ready to go,” you let your hand trail down his tunic longingly as you raised your chin, “this will end. It has to end.”

292 notes · View notes

sweetsbfreex · 3 years

Text

lethologica

when you can’t think of the word for something...like this fic </3

Summary: Harry’s family navigating his impending fame, and the activity of reader and harry making their first belly cast

Warnings: fluff, slight angst?

Pairing: Husband, Dad!Harry x reader

“Hey! We’re back!” you yelled out, Harry following closely behind you as he shut the door, carefully slipping off your sneakers. It was pretty late at least for the two of you now. The sun was away, you and H coming back from your well deserved date night.

At the familiar sound of the slamming door came the different steps of your kids. Shuffling down the steps from your view you could see the face of your oldest ahead of the covey, bolting towards the two of you. The various sounds of ‘mom’,’mummy’, and ‘dad’ spoken out.

“You guys took forever” Sydnie; seventeen, was the first to say, exasperated as she latched onto you. But was quickly shuffled away by the twins. “Bloo” the seven year old was born a Penelope, but after watching her favorite show Winx Club when she was three. Demanded she be called after her favorite character Bloom, but couldn’t pronounce the name all the way through. If you had called her by official name she wouldn’t respond, going on about her day as if no one was there. And it had stuck since then, forever the stubborn one only to grow into a sweet, shy little girl.

And Alec, fraternal twins who had just turned seven.

“Careful babies the baby, remember” Harry lightly reminded. With that reminder he had loosened his secure hold.

“Well sorry” you teased, kissing all their forehead quickly “But we bought you guys some food too” you reported, holding up the labeled bag.

They responded with excited statements, as Sydnie took the bag from your hold, running to the kitchen with her siblings.

“My hugs!” Harry yelled out, hands cupping his mouth then putting his brawny arms out like a plane awaiting their bodies to clash into his. “ought to take away your allowance for that one” Harry teases, fingers stretching out to tickle anywhere they could.

As a result he got a lively mix of groans, laughs, and pleas.

“Joking” Harry says abruptly, kissing each of their cheeks before conducting all of you to the kitchen, assisting the twins into their own seatings at the kitchen. The light above all of you illuminating the room.

Embarrassingly enough it had been when you were pulling the plastic containers from the brown bag that you realized you were missing a kid.

“Where’s your brother?” you asked, opening Bloo’s Spaghetti and spreading it on the white plate.

“Talking to his girlfriend” Sydnie air quoted, rolling her father-like eyes.

“Why do you say it like that?” Harry asked, wonderingly his back turned, reaching for the Placemats, setting them in front of each child. Placing one in front of an empty stool for Chase.

“Daddy, he’s delusional! I’ve told him a million times. She found out his last name, connected the dots, and now she’s interested. I would know it’s happened to me hundreds of times since middle school” she said indignantly.

Finishing the last plate up, from the side of your eyes you could see and sense his deflation at the statement. Always overthinking about their last names and what it would entail as they grow up with Harry Styles as their father. His top five worry ever since the first time you were pregnant. His breaking point, however, had been when Sydnie came home, furious. From a day from school finding out that some girl in her class had tried getting closer to her with ill intentions.

He could also sense the worry that washed over you, catching your eye to let you know he was fine.

“He’s old enough to know better. He’ll be fine Syd,” you let her know, reaching your hand to fix the hoodie that overshadowed her precious face.

“I wasn’t, it sucks and he’s not taking me seriously”

“Cause you’re full of it” shifting your eyes to the doorway, the sixteen-year-old walked in towards you. His arm over your shoulders before placing a kiss to your cheek. Then making his way to his dad, who had pulled him in setting a kiss to his temple.

“You say that but just you wait!” she walked over to him quickly, flicking his the back of his head, shifting her way over to the fridge before he could retaliate. Pulling out a drink and some cups for everyone else, almost bustling into you, as you made your way to the microwave.

“Don’t wish that on your brother” Harry persisted.

“I’m not, but he better not come crying to me”

"Whatever” he paid her no mind, shifting the conversation to his parents. “How was your date?” he asked, setting himself at the island.

“‘Was fine we went to the arcade, I beat mum’s butt––”

“He’s lying, I beat him at air hockey”

“Just air hockey mum?” Bloo asked, a slight lisp from her missing front teeth. Her attention strayed away while Sydnie placed her cup in front of her, filling it with juice.

“Sadly” you mimicked a pout, Harry smiling with a smug grin.

“Then went to dinner. Guess what” he exclaimed, directing his energy towards Alec”

“Mummy looked so pretty tonight, some chum couldn’t stop eyeing her. So I had to give him a knuckle” he told the story, raising his fist and mirthfully brought it to Alec’s stomach. Eliciting giggles from his which bounced off to Bloo. The rest of you with gratified smiles at the meaningful interaction.

“Why are you such a fibber tonight” you urged Harry, smacking his shoulder.

“I’m not lying” he said, walking to you till he was hovering over your back, trying to annoy you with his insistent cheek kisses.

“Go away” you whined, faking your displeasure, shrugging your shoulders. The kids could note your slight smile except for him.

“Go away” he mocked.

“We all know you wouldn’t hurt a fly” Chase pointed out correctly. Thanking you as you set his plate of food in front of him.

Harry stood across the herd,resting back against the quartz countertop, arms crossed. Until you cuddled yourself into his side. His arm reaching down so his thumb could rub against the side of your belly. Your arms encircled around his waist, head on his chest.

“Not true” he replied.

“It’s okay, it’s why I married you” you sweetly said with a smile adoring your face. He could only look down at you with a close lipped smile reflecting yours, his dimple digging deep. Leaning down to kiss you, filling you up with his love for you.

Both of you had pulled away abruptly from the range of disgusted protests and a slam of an utensil. All except for sweet, shy Bloo. Who had watched with a smile on her face idolizing the love of her parents, swearing it was like the Disney movies. Like her favorite Princess and the Frog.

“We’re trying to eat!” Chase had said dramatically, pasta in his mouth. Sydnie covers her eyes with both hands, while Alec stuck out his tongue finger to his mouth.

“None of you would be here, if it wasn’t for this” you emphasized, your finger waving between you and H.

“No duh, you both won’t stop having children” Sydnie overstated, shuddering stagy.

It was late now, all of you stayed downstairs, more overdue than intended. The twins went down an hour early before the other two. Chase and Sydnie finished their meals for the night and instead of leaving, stayed up talking to their parents.

In your sleep shorts and a light weight tank top, your hands were in Harry’s who was massaging them softly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you asked feebly, peeking up at the overly focused man.

“We’ve had this conversation a handful of times, don’t see why we need to have it again” he replied, glancing at you quickly.

“I know, but it might make you feel a little better” you tried again not wanting to push him too far.

“I–It’s just” he had to stop for a minute, his throat closing up too much to even speak clearly. You propped yourself up against the headboard, your lower back aching a little bit, adjusting Harry so his red tainted face was laid on your shoulder.

You could only coo at him, kissing his forehead, while your hand ran laxly on the side of his face. Your fingers brushing against the slight scruff against his cheek. Before moving your arm so your hand could massage his scalp at the back of his neck. Letting your fingers run through his lengthy hair at the same time. Your other arm reaches over to pluck a piece of tissue from the box, wiping under his nose softly.

“Just want them to have a normal life like you and me, it isn’t fair to them that they’ve got to deal with shit like this constantly because of me”

“Baby don’t say that, regardless of it all they’d still have to go through life meeting awful people”

“It isn’t the same y/n, with people like them they know the reason is because of their stupid last name.”

“H” you start sternly, rocking the both of you slowly “Don’t say stuff like that, you think if they had to choose you wouldn’t be their dad? They cherish you so much. I know it sucks I do, but you’re an amazing dad, there’s no one better for them. They would never hold something like that against you, they love you too much to”

“You’re a brilliant mum too. I’m sorry”

“You don’t need to apologize baby” You stopped rocking the two of you slowly, smiling down at him only to see: glossy somber eyes, a subtle simper, and a hiccuping chest.

“Stomachs getting bigger” he stated, his hand rubbing against your stomach absentmindedly.

“Thank you baby, just what every girl wants to hear”

“No! Not like that beautiful. Just meant now people can see your pregnant again”

“I’m teasing H, I promise the hormones haven’t kicked in yet.”

“Finally get to sleep with ur boobs in front of me every night” He said smugly, naturally looking at you for his favourable reaction.

“You’re such a child” you return, pinching his arm lightly “You wouldn’t want to put it in the nursery?” you ask.

“Wherever you want angel”

That radiant morning led you to now, an impromptu family trip to Target, the kids getting whatever their hearts desired–– to an extent–– while you and Harry stood here astonished by the arrays of different casting kits.

You raise your conjoined hands to point your finger at a baby blue box.

“That one? Genie told me that’s the one she bought” you queried.

He inspected it, twisting the box practically reading every word, before turning to look at the ingredients.

“H you probably don’t know what half of those things are”

He shrugged his shoulder in response, looking at the box one last time. “Sure it was this one?”

“Positive”

You were both meant to go find the kids until they had bustled around the corner, Chase pushing the loaded cart while everyone walked ahead. At the view of his parents. Alec had run ahead towards the two of you a motor car in his hand.

“Mummy! Daddy! May I get this please?” he asked, raising the toy above his head.

“Can I get this too please?” Bloo asked quietly, a lego set sat up in her palms.

“You guys were meant to keep them away from the toys” Harry told the older two. Knowing this would just add to their continual influx of toys. “Yes you guys can, go ahead and put it in the cart”

Alec had done his little dance, skipping his way back to the cart while Bloo walked herself carefully. Placing her set down as low as she could without causing any noise or crushing anything else.

“You both get everything you need?” you asked, following after the twins along with Harry, placing the kit into the cart.

You looked down at everything noticing some groceries, a few skincare items, a book, something for their rooms, and other things you couldn’t find that laid underneath everything else.

“Yep, ready to leave when you are” Sydnie had responded.

“Okay let’s head out, Styles” Harry exclaimed, as low as he could, to not disrupt anyone else, Clapping his ringed hands together once.

“Dude, you’re such a dad” Chase quipped.

“Almost like I’ve been raising kids for seventeen years huh?” He jested back, eyes opening wide in faux disbelief, traveling to bother Chase some more.

Giggling at the two, you looked down when you felt a body pressing into your leg. Familiar arms around your thigh. A distraught Bloo, looking up at you, her chin resting against your thigh.

“What is it, baby?” you asked, softly, tuning out the rest of your family.

“There’s a lady over there. She keeps looking at us” she informed you, pointing her dainty finger discreetly as she could to the woman at the end of the aisle.

Being only seven the twins had a mutual understanding on why their dad had to leave at times, but that decreased once more when you had fallen pregnant again. They understood all the rules.

a) if anyone was ever following, acting suspiciously always let mum or dad know–– if dad was there, definitely dad. b) never talk back to the idiots with the bulky cameras. c) Be careful who you talk to and what you say, some people aren’t always what they may seem.

“H” you called him over.

He walked over to the two of you, eyebrows elevated in question. His hand instinctively brushing over bloo’s hair.

“Uhm maybe we should send the kids to checkout” you tilted your head backward at the not so prudent woman with the shocked face. Her phone pointing towards the two of you.

You undoubtedly saw the happiness of his face shift to one of vexation and frustration as he glanced quickly, shrewdly at the woman. He extended his hand out to rub your elbow soothingly, nodding wearily.

He turned to the kids, masking his face as best as he could. “You guys go ahead and save a spot for us, me and your mum are gonna grab one last thing”

They didn’t care much, just wanting to get home as quickly as they could, Sydnie grabbing both of the twins’ hands.

Harry had kindly walked up to the woman, a displayed smile on his face, asking her to delete whatever she had managed to collect. You watched the encounter from the side, rubbing your belly softly, filled with mild angst.

She had apologized profusely (the embarrassment seeping in her voice), the kindness in Harry letting her know it was fine as long as he could watch her delete everything.

From her camera roll, Harry could see a video still of before the kids came, when you and him were looking for a casting kit. And some other videos of the family loitering in the target section.

He bid her a tight-lipped goodbye, after he kindly asked her again, though it was starting to run low, to go to her recently deleted–– he wasn’t the most tech savvy but he also wasn’t an idiot. Once that was ultimately done, he locked your hand into his.

“Are you okay?” you asked, securing your other arm up to wind around his.

“Just tired of the bullshit...” he sighed. He was just happy that he was able to protect his family this time.

You halt him swiftly; he looks back at you in confusion, until you lug him down for as much of a hug as you could. Feeling his shoulders sag in relaxation and his arms winding around your waist.

You stood next to Harry, in front of one of the sinks, reading the instructions.

“So we start with the lubricant first, use these...” holding up a roll of the plaster tape “dip them into warm water, and just putting them on” you informed Harry of your summary.

He nodded, his lip between his fingers as his eyes roamed over the paper once again. “I’ll go get you a chair, pee before we start” He yelled over his shoulder.

He walked back in, a wooden chair between his hands. Setting it to the floor gently, smiling at you to take a seat. Walking back to the sink,resting his hip against the packet of lubricant in his hand.

You smiled back at him as you took your seat. Deeming it be fit to wear running shorts and a tank top. Harry only in a pair of his joggers. Surprisingly after four kids, this was your first time trying a belly cast and you were a bit nervous wanting it to look just as perfect as it could–– adding your husband being a precisionist into the mix there was no guessing how this would turn out.

“Take off your top” Harry said smugly, bringing the white packet to his teeth– side eying you–– while he ripped it off. Turning to start the camera propped up on the counter. You insisted this had to be recorded as a little keepsake for the two of you.

You could only roll your eyes, trying hard not to feed into his ego. But the heat rising from your neck reported him otherwise. Tucking your arms back in the arm holes and raising the shirt off your body. Your body is bare except for the shorts adorning your legs.

Ogling at you like a caveman playfully at the sight of your boobs out and about, eliciting quick giggles from you. He walked up to you clasping your face between his palms, pressing your aglow cheeks together lightly–– the white, cold packet sitting against your left cheek lightly. Giving you three earnest kisses to your lips and leaning down in front of you, giving a peck to your belly button.

He squeezed some of the lubricant onto his fingers, deciding to start under your belly. You hissed at the sudden coldness hitting your skin.

“Okay?” he asked, eyes a bit wide and mouth slightly open.

“A little cold, but you can continue” you let him know.

He got at it quickly, once he finished that area he stood up a bit getting the sides of your stomach coated. Once he had finished, you stood up looking in the mirror at the shine of your stomach.

“Now for the fun part” clapping your palms together sitting back down, wistfully watching Harry wash his hands of the substance. He got the scissors cutting the strips of various sizes. Walking to you at times to make sure it fits properly.

‘Wouldn’t it be easier if I was next to you’ you asked.

Only to be replied with ‘No reason to have you on your feet, if I can walk to you.’ He unquestionably is just a bag of sunshine and everything good in the world.

Filling the sink with warmish water and placing on gloves. Snapping it on dramatically as if he was a doctor in a drama series.

“Dork”

He walked over with the first strip in his hand, water dripping behind him as he stepped closer to you. You pulled out your phone quickly wanting to capture a cute picture of this. Right as he placed the first strip you snapped the image. The only thing being seen was your protruded belly and below, his hands placing the plaster tape to your stomach, and a small tuft of his hair from the top of the picture.

He pulled away proudly, smiling down at his work, with his hands on his hips. “Look at that, looks perfect huh?”

“You’re doing good so far H” you confirmed.

It was only fifteen minutes later, half of your stomach–– and that wasn’t saying much.

“Baby it’s fine we’ll just sand it down” you tried to convince H for the last time, but he was stubborn as ever.

His mouth open in excessive concentration, puzzled brows pulled together as he removed the plaster for the fifth time. And from your point of view, you swore, he placed it back on the exact same spot.

“Just wait” he sighed, it wasn’t where he wanted it to be.

“Harry, we’re gonna be forever” you sighed, swaying your feet softly until one of them accidentally knocked into Harry’s leg. He looked down at you, eyes telling you to quit it.

“See there, you big baby” he grumbled.

“You’ve set it back into the same spot!” you exclaimed.

“No I haven’t, you’re just impatient...sounded a little brit there” he hummed, turning his back to you as he grabbed another slip.

“Shut up!”

Then there was, naturally, the sudden interruption.

Bloo had stumbled into the bathroom, expressing out about something one of her brothers did when she stopped taking into account, trying to figure out what was wrong with her mum.

She gasped, eyes wide at the greying stuff. “What’s wrong with mummy?” she asked, looking between the two of you.

“Turning mummy into a mummy!” He screeched, holding up a plaster strip.

She brought her hands up to her mouth eyes growing only wider, her lip already starting to tremble.

“You and your stupid dad jokes” you pulled Bloo closer to you, turning her back to Harry flipping him off behind her head.

“We’re just doing a cast, don’t worry baby. Remember that episode of Jessie when Ravi got that mask stuck on Luke’s face and ripped his eyebrows off” you explained, She laughed at the connection of the episode.

“Kind of like that, but without the eyebrows and we’re just using my belly” bringing your thumb to brush her brows up and the corner of her mouth clean. God what were they doing down there.

“Ohh okay that makes more sense.” you smiled back at her.

And Harry who had a bit too much fun when it came to the upper portion of the cast. Acting like Alec does when Paw patrol was on or when Sydnie when her dad allowed her his card to shop. Finding any reason to smooth down the cast with his wet hands. Or taking his time to cover your nipple, using his thumb to level it out. A haughty expression on his face growing the higher he got from your belly button.

“You’re acting as if we don’t have sex or take showers together” you tell him, popping another goldfish into your mouth (But not the good ones, the disgusting wheat ones Harry urged you and everyone else in the house to eat instead.)

“As if you don’t act like this when I take off my shirt”

He got you there, looking up at you to see you were not going to give him the eye contact he wanted. Your lips closed tight.

He delicately planted the last strip over the top of one of your breasts.

“Wait, it doesn’t look right”

“Harry!”

“Just joking y/n, now we wait five minutes and we can pop this off, sand it, and decorate it however you want” he told you, smiling at the finished product, leaning down to kiss your forehead then your lips.

“Wanna do it like this” you twisted your phone around to show him the image on Pinterest. A light blue belly cast, but you wanted it a pretty purple color, that was held against a frame, with butterflies of surveying sizes going across/diagonally the cast.

“However you want lovie” he told you again, pulling your head to his stomach, leaning down to kiss your head. Your arms winding across his waist.

“Thank you” you hummed in satisfaction.

– – – – –

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

thank you to the anon who requested this!

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles oneshot #dad! harry styles #harry styles fluff #dad harry styles x reader #husband! harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfic #harry styles angst #harry styles drabble #dad!harry

459 notes · View notes

princehairsupremacy · 3 years

Note

Can you do one where y/n is innocent or idk 🥘

okay imma just select some of my prompts for this

37. "I don't think it'll fit."

44. "I've never done it before."

66. "I'm literally on my knees and you're asking me that?"

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Word Count: 1.8k

Word count: oral (f receiving), fingering, blowjob, vaginal sex

You pulled back when Harry grabbed your hips as you kissed, looking away from him to avoid his confused gaze. “What? What’s wrong? You do this every time but you never tell me why.” You looked back up at him with a guilty look and he raised his eyebrows, waiting for your answer.

“I’ve never done it before...” He gulped nervously but smiled at you, grabbing your hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

“That’s fine, nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not embarrassing to be a virgin, it’s normal.”

“Harry, shut up! You’re embarrassing me.”

“I just said it’s not embarrassing.”

"It isn't helping!"

"I'm sorry, it's still not embarrassing though and I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything."

"No, no. I wanna do it. Like right now." Harry took a deep breath and stood up, moving to stand infront of where you sat on the couch. He started to move down to his knees and you watched, frozen.

"This alright?" You nodded and he leaned forward, you had a skirt on so it was easier for him. He moved your skirt up slightly and started to kiss your thighs, looking up at you and watching your face.

He started to move your skirt up more and you lifted your hips up, only letting go of the skirt when it bunched at your waist. "Weren't you meant to facetime Gemma today?"

He looked up at you with a flat expression. "I'm literally on my knees and you're asking me that? Please don't mention my sister right now." You apologised and he squeezed your thigh, dipping his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and starting to drag them off. You had to lift your hips again and it was a little annoying but it wasn't that big of a deal.

He slid his hands down your legs and moved them onto his shoulders. He gulped and looked up at you, he turned his head to the side and kissed and nipped at your thigh.

You watched him and tried to gulp up all your nerves, you weren't gonna back out. He looked up at you as he kissed your thigh, opening up his hand for you to hold.

You threaded your fingers in between his and squeezed his hand gently. He started move his kisses closer and closer to your pussy and didn't break eye contact, not even for one second.

He moved back and you leaned forward, wondering what the fuck he was doing. "Tell me how much you want it." Alright, that did something for you.

"Um. I really want it, I want it bad." You sounded a little unsure but he didn't heckle you about it because it was your first time. He leaned back in and looked up at you but you weren't looking at him so he gave your thigh a light smack.

You looked down at him and he smirked up at you, he definitely had a thing about eye contact. He stuck his tongue out and pressed it against your clit slightly, it was a weird sensation but you liked it.

He leaned further in and flicked his tongue lightly, just so you could get used to it before he really started. You placed your hand in his hair, bunching it in a fist and pulling slightly. He pulled back and you took your hand away, thinking he didn't like it.

"No, please keep doing that." You gaped at him a little then fisted his hair again, pulling it and making him whimper. "I like the pain." He leaned back in and moved his tongue faster, pressing it against your clit a little harder than before.

You pulled his hair again and he stopped for a second, closing his eyes and letting out a little moan. He looked back up at you again, leaning back in with the intent to do his best this time.

He moved his tongue quickly against your clit and let go of your hand, sticking two of his fingers out and pressing them into you. You accidentally pulled on his hair a little rougher than intended and he moaned against your clit, you bucked your hips up at the feel of the vibrations.

He started to move his fingers and scissored them a little, stretching you out and getting you ready for him. You threw your head back and he didn't like that becaause there was no eye contact anymore. He nibbled at your clit slightly so you would look at him again and it worked, he pulled back and raised his eyebrows at you. "Don't look away."

You nodded and he moved his tongue again, moving his fingers faster because now you were more stretched out for him. He angled his fingers up slightly and pressed against that pleasurable spongy spot inside you.

"Oh my god!" He watched intently as you moaned, your mouth parted open and your eyes wide as you kept looking into his eyes. He sucked on your clit gently and moved his fingers so he hit your g-spot everytime.

You pulled on his hair again, grabbing it at the roots and tugging up. He moaned again and you felt the vibrations even stronger because he had your clit between his lips. You pressed your thighs against his head at the intense pleasure and he moved his fingers faster, wanting you to get off.

You threw your head back and he couldn't stop himself to give you into trouble for it, he was having too much fun already, to stop it would basically be a crime. You called out his name multiple times and he rutted his hips forward, this was turning him on so much.

"Harry! Oh-" He could tell you were about to cum by the way you were clenching around his fingers and the way your hips were starting to spasm so uncontrollably that he had to hold them down.

He didn't stop when you came the first time and you moved both your hands to his hair, tugging on the strands of his hair helplessly. He moved his fingers faster and sucked your clit as harshly as he could without hurting you.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He only stopped when you came for the second time, satisfied with himself. You looked down at him as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them.

He stood up and you looked up at him, your hair was a little messed up and there was mascara on your eyes but he thought you looked fucking hot. He reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. Your eyes scanned all his tattoos, they were so pretty.

"Do you still think you're ready?" You didn't answer, instead leaning forward and unbuttoned his trousers, slowly dragging down the zip on them. He hooked his thumbs in the side of them and dragged them down slightly, you took a hold of them and helped him get them off the rest of the way.

You looked up at him and placed your hand on the bulge in his boxers. You squeezed his bulge slightly and he moved his hips forward, you hadn't done much yet but it was still doing a lot for him. "Take 'em off."

You placed your hands on his hips and dug his nails into his skin, his breath laboured, guess he really wasn't lying about liking pain. You moved his boxers down, moving back when there was nothing left to cover him. "I don't think it'll fit..."

He smiled and moved his hand to your cheek, stroking your cheek with his thumb. "You're just making my ego bigger by saying shit like that, darling."

He wasn't even fully hard yet and you were worried about it fitting, god you hoped it fucking fit. "I wanna help you out before you...put it in."

"Oh! That's fine, I'm definitely okay with that."

"I don't know where to start."

"You haven't watched porn or anything?" You shook your head and bit your lip, you probably should have, it definitely would have helped right now.

"That's alright. You just need to get it wet." You had to think for a second before spitting onto his cock, he gasped and moved his hand to your hair.

"Well done, now just wrap your hand around-" You moved your hand to his cock and wrapped your fingers around it, he moved his hips forward and fisted your hair between his fingers.

"You're doing really fucking good. Just use your tongue now or move your hand." You decided to try and use both, moving your hand slowly and sticking your tongue out, touching his tip with your tongue lightly. "Alright, that definitely works..."

You wrapped your mouth around the tip and moved your tongue against his slit. He tugged your hair and threw his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a little low moan.

You moved both your hand to his thighs, grabbing onto them and starting to move your mouth down as far as you could. He grabbed onto the sides of your head and moved you off when you gagged. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I thought'd you like it?" He smiled and huffed, you weren't sure what you were doing but still wanted to do the best you could for him.

"I do but you don't have to do that for me. Just lie back, I'm ready anyway." He turned away and you grabbed his arm, thinking he was leaving you. "I need to get a condom." You left go of his arm and he walked to the bathroom, giggling at the sight of him walking butt-naked.

He looked back at you with a confused face. "You have a cute butt, Harry." He gave you a small smile and rolled his eyes, walking into the bathroom. You took your clothes off while he was in there, making sure you were ready for him coming back.

When he walked back out he had a condom on, he stood in front of you and gently grabbed your legs, lifting them to his waist and bending them at the knees. "I'll do my best to make it feel good, baby."

He grabbed himself and got in position, only pushing his tip in. You grabbed his arm tightly and he leaned down, wrapping his arms around you. "You'll be alright." He pushed in a little further and you moved your face into his neck, squeezing your eyes shut.

He moved a hand to the back of your head and cradled you in his arms, he pushed in further and you squeezed your arms around his waist. He kept going until his hips were pressed against the back of your thighs, stopping and letting you get used to the feel.

You moved your head back and looked up at him, you had tears on your cheeks and he wiped them away. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, I knew it wasn't going to be like heaven my first time."

"I just don't like hurting you."

"Stop blaming yourself, this is common. Y'can move now, please just be gentle." He nodded and moved his hips back and forth very gently and slowly, smiling down at you.

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danniburgh · 3 years

Text

Children's Game (a RushBit one shot)

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: Javi and you go to the county fair... that's basically it.

Word count: +1.9k

Chapter warnings: Javi and Flor being DORKS and mentions of guns

A/N: This is canon RushBit after the main story, and part of the Writer Wednesday challenge by @autumnleaves1991-blog, thank you baby, you gave me an excuse to post this before of when i was intending lmao

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

“Why are we here again?” Javier asked once you hopped off the truck, you chuckled and he reached to grab your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, sending a bit of an electric rush through your body. Incredible how he could do that after so long.

“We promised Chucho we would get him some churros,” you reminded him, and he sighed, guiding you to the entrance.

“You know he can make them, right?” he half rethorized half whined as he paid for two tickets and you laughed at him.

“Yeah, but he likes the ones here, why do you have to be such a baby about it?” you teased and he tugged your hand to move you closer to him.

“Call me baby one more time,” he whispered on your cheek.

“What are you gonna do?” you replied, giving him a daring glance and enjoying how his neck, despite the sun setting behind him, was reddening slowly. Javier huffed and started walking inside “that’s more like it.” you teased again, making him chuckle.

The county fair was roaring with people, you two could barely walk two steps without bumping into someone and you could see on Javier’s face how he was hating it.

“Just an hour, babe,” you muttered next to him, gripping his hand tighter, and he nodded twice to let you know he heard it.

You walked a bit more; you were enjoying the way the lights looked like little warm stars, the different kind of music that was playing on each game made your ears a bit ringy but for you it was tolerable.

He saw you eye out the Ferris wheel and noticed the way you sighed at the sight of the big attraction, he wanted to ask if you wanted to get up but his head was starting to pound and he knew the height wouldn't do any good to either of you.

Javier let out a relieved sigh when you got to the churros and funnel cake stand, and you kissed his cheek when you found a spot at the end of the line.

“I want cotton candy,” you thought out loud when you saw a man walking around with a large pole filled with already made and bagged cotton candy, you turned to him “you want one?” Javier looked at you and narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head “‘kay, but I won’t give you from mine” you told him, knowing he would try to eat from yours as his sweet tooth was apparently, uncontrollable, rummaging in your jean’s pocket for some change and sliding your hand off the entanglement with his.

Javier saw you walking to the cotton candy man and absentmindedly smiled at how you managed yourself around. All security and confidence.

As the line got shorter he kept looking at you, talking a bit with the man and then choosing a cotton candy bigger than your head, Javier chuckled when the man helped you open the bag and you almost dropped it on the floor, which made you bark a laugh and smile at the seller.

You turned around and walked to him, smiling like a little girl with your big ass cotton candy in hand, pinching little pieces out with your fingers and shoving them inside your mouth.

“Your tongue is getting stained already,” he said and you giggled, Javier raised his hand to pinch a bit of the fluff and you furrowed your brown.

“No, no,” you moved it to the side and out of his reach “I asked you if you wanted one,” Javier rolled his eyes and stepped closer to you.

“I’ll buy you a funnel cake,” he tried to bargain. You shook your head.

“I don’t want a funnel cake,” you replied and made him sigh.

“Why are you so stubborn?” he muttered on your face, the line kept moving and you with it.

“I’m not stubborn,” you said, he smirked and threw his head to the side “well maybe I am, but is my cotton candy.”

Javier chuckled again and threw his hands to the air, defeated. Your turn came and he asked for two bags of churros and a large funnel cake to-go.

He paid and grabbed your hand to walk to the exit, the path on the way out was less crowded and you two actually got to see some of the attractions, laughing at the screams of the children that enjoyed the rides and at the laughters of teenagers wasting their money away on the games.

You stood straighter when you saw a shooting game and tugged at his hand, letting the last piece of aired sugar you had bitten off the cotton candy melt in your mouth.

“What?” Javier looked at you, puzzle faced.

“Shooting game! Let’s go win Pepe a stuffed animal,” you didn’t wait for his reply and pulled him to start walking towards the game stand.

“He is a stuffed animal,” Javier let out as a comeback and you just chuckled at it “baby he has more than enough toys, you have him spoiled.”

You turned around to look at him and he just rolled his eyes.

“If he has more than enough toys then why does he keep chewing on your boots?” Javier didn’t reply, knowing you were right “besides I think he needs one.”

“He doesn’t,” he tried to reason as you let his hand go, handed him your half eaten cotton candy and went to his back pocket to pull his wallet out.

“He does” you said and he saw you take a couple dollars out of it and go to return the leather square to its designated spot in his jeans, he smiled and cringed a bit when you first rubbed his butt over the denim, looking at you smiling teasingly and winking at him.

“Tease,” he accused and you chuckled, grabbing back the paper stick with the severely shrunk cotton candy, walking to the kid that was tending the game.

“Hi, how many tries for a turn?” you asked him and he smiled at you both and his green gaze lingered a bit on Javier.

“Five pellets for turn, ma’am, a dollar each one.” he answered with his toothy smile and you paid him.

“Only one, keep the change,” you told him and if it was possible, he widened his smile.

“Appreciate it ma’am,” he pulled a little box and started counting pellets “I’m sorry, sir?” he addressed Javier, a bit fidgety, you could tell he was nervous without the need to read him, Javier nodded his chin to him “yo-you’re Javier Peña, right?” the kid asked and Javier stiffened next to you, nodding again, the kid smiled again, handing him the pellets, Javier opened his hand and the kid let them fall on his open palm “we’re learning about the drug war in school, there’s a picture of you and your partner on my book,” he mumbled and you heard Javier sighing next to you “you’re awesome, sir, thank you.”

You turned to look at Javier and saw him smile softly to the kid and nodding again to him.

“Rifle six is free,” the kid looked back at you, pointing at the last one “you shot at three bottles and you choose any stuffed animal you want.”

“Thanks, love,” you said and walked along the short bar where old rifles were stuck and pointing to a variety of glass bottles laid up on several shelves, “didn’t think they would be teaching about it so soon,” you commented as you reached rifle six.

“It’s been three years, they’re moving fast.” he mumbled and said nothing more, there was a younger kid and a woman on each side of the shelves, you grabbed the bag of treats from Javier’s hand and gestured to the rifle with the cotton candy “go on, big guy” you teased.

“You want me to do it?” he asked, a fake tired expression on his face, you nodded and pushed his arm a bit towards the gun “Flor…”

“Don’t even start,” you scolded at the sound of your nickname “go”

He rolled his eyes and loaded the rifle with the first pellet, moving it to the side. You saw his shoulders rise and then he took a shot, sending it between two bottles.

His shoulders dropped and without looking back at you he loaded it again, you pressed your lips together at the sight of him doing the same, a little bit to the right and taking a shot again, failing.

You snorted and he turned to frown at you.

“Steve was right,” you covered your mouth with the back of your hand and he put his hands on his waist “you a lousy shot,” you said between laughs.

“It’s a children’s game!” he complained.

“Is it?” you teased.

“You think you can do better?” he dared and you shot up your brows.

“I know I can,” you replied, handing him the bag and the last of the candy, which he took with the same hand and then gave you the last three pellets.

You saw him taking a bite of the candy behind you and rolled your eyes as you loaded the gun.

You crouched a bit so the rifle’s stock could be supported on your shoulder and moved it a bit to the left, you breathed in and taking the shot you let the air out, hitting a bottle right in the middle.

“I told you!” you yelled at Javier, turning to see him, he smiled at you and nodded to it.

“Two more,” he said, and pointed to one on the upper right corner with the hand that held the candy “shot that one, the blue one,” he dared and you nodded, turning back to the gun.

You loaded the gun again and noticed the way the rear sight was slightly tilted and so you pointed the front sight to the bottle, repeated the breath in and shot as the air left your lungs, smashing the blue bottle in several pieces. Javier let out a laugh behind you and you turned around with your lower lip between your teeth, trying to commit the sound to memory.

There weren't many things that made Javier laugh as there were many that made him smile. In the years you’ve been together you could count on both hands the moment you had actually heard him laugh out loud. The sound was rough and smokey, like his voice but different from his chuckles, and sometimes he ended up coughing a bit because of the years he spent smoking, but it was something that filled you chest and brain and body with a happiness you thought you would never be feeling. It was one of your favorite noises in the world.

“Last one,” you announced as he finished the cotton candy “pick your shot, señor,” Javier narrowed his eyes at the bunch of settled bottles and found one of a beer he liked right in the middle, he pointed at it and you widened your smile “aye aye captain.”

You loaded the gun and moved it, waited for the kid to replace one of the smashed bottles and breathed in and out, shooting and hitting the neck of the bottle, breaking only the top part. You gasped and covered your mouth, turning to look at Javier. He had his mouth half opened and his eyebrows raised. You wanted to laugh at his expression and at the way his mouth was slightly stained from the cotton candy.

“Ma’am,” the kid called you and you turned to look at him “pick your stuffie,” you chuckled and pointed at a yellow tiger.

The woman grabbed a pole and took it down, handing it to you.

“Thanks” you smiled at her and put the stuffed animal behind your arm, stepping to Javier.

“Well done, baby.” he took your free hand and tugged you to kiss your cheek.

“Still think it’s a children’s game?”

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless @northernpunk @pascalesque @sleep-tight11 @cheekygeek05 @bii-aan-ckaa @letaliabane @starlightmornings @mouthymandalorianalso @supernaturalgirl @metalarmsandmanbuns @purplepascal042 @asta-lily @greeneyedblondie44

Javi's babies: @pulplorrd

RushBit tag list: @shestillwrites1 @absurdthirst @alliterative-albatross @disgruntledspacedad @thoughtfulpandawasteland @wifeofdindjarin @lank-sextburg @the-ginger-hedge-witch @helloannbananalove @diogodxlot @pascalslittlebrat @sarahjkl82-blog @pedritobalmando @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @mamacitapascal @dobbyjen @callsigncatfish @feminist-violinist @pascalove @eury-dice3 @gingaahhhh @athalien

#javier peña #javier pena #javier peña x reader #javier peña fanfiction #javier peña fanfic #narcos #narcos netflix #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #rushingly bittersweet tag #Writer Wednesday

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purplerose244 · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (4/4)

Here we are! What a journey, and while perhaps this season wasn't at MoM level it was REALLY good, with great new villains/allies, great little throwbacks and an awesome story! 🤩

How to get this was very good to great? Give me a very good ending Seabound!! 💕💕

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I genuinely got too much into this remaining four episodes and forgot to put any general thoughts 😅 So you'll see me rambling at the end, see you there 😉

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

This title really summarize my feelings so far, like, I'm seriously wondering how it will move on from now, but I do expect the outcome to be CRAZY 🤯

Aaahhhh, yep, the one in Shintaro is a fake 😅 I wonder when did the change happen? How did Kalmaar pulled that off, wow

I'M SORRY WHY ARE WE PUTTING THE TITLE SCREEN WITHOUT THE INTRO?? THAT'S A FIRST EPISODE STUFF AND IT HONESTLY SCARES ME??? It reminds me of Winds of Change too and that episode was WOW 😭😭😭

Heeeeyyy, it's youuuu... huh... *watch scribble on hand* google snake guy, huh... Glucose... yep, good old Glutine and everything 😅

Are we having a "I may have made a mistake being evil" with this guy?

Jay: ah, Prime Empire! I was in that game you know! I fought for my life and the ones of all of Ninjago and I've seen my best friends and the love of my life die before my eyes... good times 🙂

Jay and Nya having fun at DDR has to be one of my favorite thing, they are so in sync and so lovable ❤💙❤💙

DID THEY ACTUALLY PUT THE JAYA SHIP NAME INTO THE SHOW??? OMG GUYS THE FANDOM IS TAKING OVER THE SHOW AT LAST!!! 🤯🤯🤯 The electric Jaya, heeeyy, niiicee 😎😎😎

HOW CUTE CAN YOU BE

MY SHIP 💙❤💙❤ They even gave each other high gives... this is neat, and it means something awful will happen right 🙂

Commissioner: he's saying something about a giant snake... and the end of the world... didn't we already have something like that?

Okay yep, he did the trick while fighting Nya, dang Kalmaar is sneaky! Not too shabby... but I gotta say, the summoning of the Great Devourer was a lot more dramatic 🤣🤣 Props to the serpentine, still my favorite snakes 💪💪

Wojira seems to be a little smaller than the Devourer maybe? His head way bigger than the bounty, while hers is not that massive even in comparison with Kalmaar

I might be wrong but at first glance, I stand by my opinion and by the superiority of the OG giant snake 🤷‍♀️

Yep Glutine guy did have a change of heart, better late than never 🤷‍♀️

You're telling me that Jay doesn't do engineering anymore, okay... HOW IS KAI A BETTER SOLUTION??? 🤣🤣🤣 Lol look at the messy brothers, love Lloyd and Kai so much I miss them interact 💚❤💚❤

Thank you Kelly for the alert 😗

It makes me wonder if they actually do have simulations of evacuations often, it would be pretty smart considering the city 🤷‍♀️

OKINO IS THERE HI DUDE!!! 😍 I hope he's doing great! 🥰🥰

Gail Gossip! Been a while!

WOW, this is going Deluge like, my first Spinjitzu Master! 😱 How... how do we go with three episodes from here? Like, I'm guessing Nya will have to do what Nyad did before her (which TERRIFIES me), so are they going to struggle trying to find another way? IDK BUT I'M IN LET'S GO!! 🤯

ASSAULT ON NINJAGO CITY

Alright, pretty straightforward title, let's see what we got here!

Tourists?... that actually makes sense, I mean, I would want to visit all the places where history was made on this island 😍 Aww nice to see they remember the battle against Garmy of Hunted, also that it is known that Jay was the one who faced Unagami 👍👍

DARETH!!! 🤎🤎🤎

Where have you been you knucklehead, I've missed you! 💕 I think I've last seen him in a commercial from the Fire Chapter?

This is a terrible guide 😵 Not knowing the brown ninja? Owner of the dojo the Green Ninja had trained in? Brief commander of the Stone Army? Master of makeup and puffy potstickers? Unforgivable, someone fire this woman ASAP 😡😡

LOOK AT DARETH TAKING CHARGE!!! 🤩 He's right, he should get involved every once in a while, come on guys!

Ah okay good, I'm not the only one struggling with that google snake name 😂

Yay Bentho is fully integrated with the team! He is a great addiction, like, I know he'll probably take the throne at the end or something but I do hope we'll need his help again in the future! 💙

Sometimes I forget how much I love Kai and Zane interacting 🤣 The brainiac and the airhead 🤍❤🤍❤

Oh right, Cole came back from Shintaro! So... now in this extremely secret city there is a fake amulet hanging into a highly secured place... how is it always Shintaro the keeper of flukes? 😂😂

A bath as a boat but it has a whole 😂😂 I love this show's randomness

What ears are they supposed to cover 😅

I LOVE THIS ATMOSPHERE!!! 😍😍😍 Between the gray sky of storm and the sea underneath, this is the perfect scenario for Wojira and it's not even forced! I love how they are handling backgrounds for Ninjago recently, I really hope it gets as good as in the finale of Prime Empire 💙💙💙

AAAAAAHHHHHhhhhh okay for a moment I was scared Wojira was going to eat Jay 😅 After The Island this is already the second time Bluebell risks it... STOP

WHY THE CLIFFHANGER!?!?

NUUUUU WHAT NOW??? 😱😱😱 We have two more episodes, how is this going to end? I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY WANT TO PLEASE GIVE ME A GOOD FINALE SEABOUND!!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

NYAD

I AM SCARED FOR MY WATER LILY OKAY

Daaaang she can just float on that? She got super good at controlling water! Now I want her and Kai just randomly flying around with their powers 😂😂 Kai got missiles in his hands come on 🔥🔥🔥

JAY CAN YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT YOU GUYS ONE AT THE TIME??? 😱

What would Kai do? WHAT WOULD KAI DO?? DID YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO DIE JAY WHY WOULD YOU THINK OF HIM??? ... although technically Kai is the only one with Jay who didn't straight up die before coming back to life in a dramatic moment... huh... Kai might be the most reasonable choice after all 😅

We grew up from Ninja never quit to NINJA AREN'T IDIOTS AND KNOW WHEN TO GET THE HECK OUT 😎😎 Even our motto got a character development 💪

JAY NOOOOOOOO 😱😱😱😱

BENTHO YAAAAAAASSSS 🥳🥳🥳🥳 Did I ever say that I love shark boy? BECAUSE I FREAKING DO!! 💙

Master prankster Wu once again, take that empty ship Calamari head 😎 Although the poor bounty doesn't deserve to get destroyed as many times as it did until now, it's my favorite ship... pun intended 😜

Ah more ninjajan, wait a moment

"Auto Pilot". Fair enough, although I was hoping for a "psych" or something 😂😂

NO WAIT NO WHAT THE HECK!!! I THOUGHT JAY GOT SAVED HE INHALED WATER??!? BLUEBELL NOOOO!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

But Cole running to his best friend immediately? HECK yes 🖤💙🖤💙

NYA CARRYING HER BOYFRIEND BRIDAL STYLE THIS IS THE RIGHTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!!! ❤💙❤💙❤💙❤💙 Gosh this season gave me amazing Jaya moments, I've been fed 👌👌

Okay Lloyd pacing back and forth? Kai already mad at their enemies? All the guys eager to help Jay? MY FAVORITE NINJA FAMILY BABY!!! 😎😎

I NEED A MOMENT 😭

Oh... oh gosh I knew Nya doing the Nyad thing was meant to happen, but this way? My heart is melting already 😭

I remember a post that said that Jay told Nya that he loves her many times, while she never did. Tommy reponded that she lets her actions speak... boy do I see it now, I see all of her love 😢😢

I never felt such conflicting emotions for a villain like I do for Kalmaar, like, he caused so much pain to Nya... but he is voiced by Giles... but he is the reason Jay is hurt... but that startle gag 😂😂😂

Okay this? Is adorable?

What the HECK? The police in this city is generally not very helpful, but the Commissioner is very wholesome 💜

Nyaaaaaaa 😭😭😭😭 I didn't think it was possible to love her even more, she was ignored for so long during the show, but now we finally see all of her. She is an amazing warrior, a selfless person, and a real hero 💪💪 And coming from such a mature girl that doesn't like to act irrationally, this means so much more

Jaya grew up so much, it went through some very questionable phases yes, but what they have here? It's the result of all they had lived together 💙❤💙❤

I have chills, this is amazing so far, I'm legit scared of going further 😱

SHE SAID IT!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay this moment, everything, EVERYTHING, is absolutely marvelous. Nya said I love you without a voice, alone, showing again that she values the actions more, but still her feelings are 100% truthful. Then the transformation (THERE IT IS HER BEAUTIFUL WATER FORM 😍😍😍), Jay getting saved, the realization of what she just did from everyone... DANG IT IT'S ALL BEAUTIFUL HOW LONG DID IT TAKE TO THINK OF THIS SCENE???

*slow clap for Bragi, Tommy, and the Ninjago crew*

Jay and water Nya with their hands together gives me big The Form of Water vibes... LOVE THAT MOVIE WHO'S READY FOR AN AU??

Jay wants to help her, I had no doubt 💙 They always help each other in these BOUNDs seasons 😍😍😍

Kalmaar: where are the ninja??

Commissioner: I don't know, they are ninja!

FINAL BATTLE INCOMING AAAAHHH I HOPE THIS WILL HAVE A GOOD ENDING OMG BRING IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

THE TURN OF THE TIDE

Oh, curious title? It feels a little vague, I don't really know what it could be

YES GIRL GO GET HIS CALAMARI BUTT HECK YES!!! Just how cool can you be for walking slowly while the attacks go straight through you? 😂

Hey Nya still recognizes Jay! 😃😃

HEY NYA GOT VAPORIZED WTH 😱😱 It's too early, I don't believe that's it!

WHOA JAY WENT BERSERK JUST NOW!! I don't think I've seen this before, this is the coolest thing! 💙💙💙 I just love when he shows how strong he is, you can be a comic relief AND kick butts 😎

FIGHTING ANIMATIONS MAN I LOVE THESE SCENES!! 😍😍😍

What the- was... was that a cameo of the lightning chicken? Ninjago what the HECK I love your randomness 😂😂

BENTHOMAAR TAGS IN!!! Showing off why he is best boy of the season 💙 These fightings are very cool but I can't help imagining Wojira just chilling while there are midgets getting very angry at each other onto her head 🤣🤣🤣

WHOA, CALAMARI BITE! Kalmaar got the Pythor treatment... might change color by next season if he returns 😅

(Please return I loved having Giles' voice in this season 💙💙💙)

NYA IS A DRAGON!!! I REPEAT NYA IS A DRAGON!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I was wondering where the dragon moment was, this is Ninjago after all 🤷‍♀️

Head empty, just Jay smiling softy at Nya because he loves her 💙💙💙

IT'S RAINING NYA, HALLELUIA IT'S RAINING NYA, HEYE!! ☔☔☔ This fight is MASSIVE! We had finales with big creatures before but now one of the ninja is big enough to face them and that's 🤯

NYA DID IT!!! 🤩🤩🤩 ... now onto the angst that I KNOW it's coming

Kai being unbelieving is tragic, and Jay's "don't leave me" broke my heart. Please end this misery, where is the deus ex machina that solves everything?

Wait she left?

...

WAIT SHE ACTUALLY LEFT??? WHAT THE HECK THEY AREN'T ENDING IT LIKE THIS

...

OH MY GOSH

ARE THEY?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

Omg the grief in this is beautiful, nice to see Jay and Maya so close to each other! Also Kai leaning onto his mom while Cole is comforting his best best friend? Amazing, they really do these scenes great 👌

EVERYONE SHOWED UP I LOVE THIS CITY SO MUCH 😭😭😭 Aww Ed and Edna, wasn't this such a sad situation I would be so much happier to see you guys 🥺

Master Wu even mentioned that she built Samurai X, you really want to make me cry now do you? 🥺🥺

MAYA AND RAY 😢😢😢😢😢😢

Omg look at Cole being there for his best friend, he is amazing 🖤💙🖤💙

I have such Rebooted vibes from this... is it hopeful? That Nya comes back like Zane? She's no nindroid but still... oh my gosh they got her symbol on the vase I just noticed, I need more tissues 😭😭

"In loving memory of Kirby Morrow". Always in our hearts 🖤🖤🖤

...

Wow

WOW

THEY ACTUALLY DID IT I NEED ANOTHER MOMENT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IN THE WORLD THIS IS THE BIGGEST CHANGE THEY DID IN A WHILE!!!

AND NOW WHAT??? 🤯🤯🤯

FINAL THOUGHTS

I'm speechless... like that's true, have A LOT to write over here 😅

This type of plot twist reminds me of our early seasons. Zane sacrificing himself, Garmadon giving up his life, those moments that made me so curious and excited about the following. I have no idea what will be the outcome for this, but I can't wait to find out

With that out of the way, AMAZING SEASON 😍😍😍 I think this finale beats MoM's, just because it was really unexpected and opens up a SEA of possibilities... yeah too soon 😭

I'm still shaken, my world, they did something HUGE and I do hope it will be a good shake to the entire Ninjago plotline. Nya is "gone", we still don't know about the person behind all that vengestone, we haven't heard from Garmy in forever, there are so many good ideas out there now that they've set the ground for more 🤩🤩

Voice acting was *chef's kiss*, not only for the villain which I already stressed enough about, I think Kelly reached a new level of emotional intimacy with Nya and I'm so happy she showed her skills 💜💜

Animation is TOP, there's little to no point into saying anything else since they showed it very clearly in the latest season ☺

This was the emotional, witty and engaging writing I was looking for! Good jokes, meaningful dialogues, emotional scenes, everything was really good and I'm gonna rewatch some scenes especially for that 😍

It turned out having Maya and Ray back was kind of a distraction to fool us all 😅😅 Well played actually, and it was very cool seeing them again in any case 🙋‍♀️

And now? Jay lost his love, I have no idea if the show will work on him getting over her or hold onto her memory (thinking of Jay probably the latter, although I do think that handling the first would be an interesting idea). KAI LOST HIS SISTER 😢😢😢 I have no doubt he's gonna beat himself up for it, like he did when Zane was gone too. Everyone lost their friend, she had become such a vital part of the team and now she is not here anymore it will be hard...

They are back with the four plus one green savior formation, I sincerely don't know how I feel about that 😅 I'm always happy when we get the OGs, but this is about going on without Nya... maybe Skylor will be called? Or Pixal will be more active? That could be interesting to see, who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Gosh, how are they going to handle the next season? It will have to give A LOT of answers to the millions questions we all have right now. Man I can't wait, it could be anything!!! This is a Ninjago revolution!

But if I have to mention a little complain, and I'm a fangirl so I absolutely have to, Kai didn't show much of a reaction to Nya's "departure". Okay, she didn't straight up die like in Skybound (I'm gonna fear all BOUND seasons from now on 😱), but he's her brother and he loves deeply his family. Either we're gonna see him go all out next season, or the writers really did only focus on Jaya. A tiny bit salty... but you got me a fantastic finale so I'll move on 👍

Outstanding, I'm blown away. Whenever I think I'm used to this show they do stuff like this. I'm so glad and sad you guys 😅 But mostly happy that despite everything I still get very strong emotions while I watch this long time favorite show of mine 💜💜💜

What else can I say at this point? ONTO NEXT SEASON!!! 🤩🤩🤩

Thank you for reading me freaking out over LEGO spinning ninja as always! It helps me calm down but this time it might be harder thant the others... *sobs*

I need to lay down and process all of this, I'll be on my way 😂😂 BYE!!! 💜

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

Text

And another thing, he said as if its ever just ONE more thing, hahahaha look, fuck you numbers, I’m not about to be limited by the likes of YOU.

Anyway.

Anyone else think its kinda weird that in all the many years of “Dick not so secretly resented Jason because Bruce adopted him and made him Robin and that’s why they were never close” fics.......there seem to be a big whopping zero that take the fix-it approach:

“What if Bruce had been aware of the tension between the two because he’s not actually a Dumb Dumb McStupidhead and thought to himself, gee, if only there was something I, the parent, had the power to do about this resentment from one brother based on something I, the parent, did for the other brother who never did anything because he is not the parent and also he did nothing wrong? What if given that I and my actions are the actual problem here, I, the parent, he who holdeth both the actual power in this family as the parent and the power as the problem-causer, to address the problem.....like what if I got off my ‘matches with Batman’ butt and.....did...something? About it?”

Like.....oh I don’t know, just spitballing here....maybe explaining to Jason just what it was Dick was resentful about when it came to Robin and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic at this age Jason to take Dick’s side and be like wtf, you gotta fix this B.

Or maybe like, going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about any of this and that he’s let it go unaddressed for so long since then, which more than likely would have NOT resulted in Dick continuing to hold a grudge against an innocent third party but rather be like thank you this is literally all I ever wanted, a fucking acknowledgment that you’d hurt me and that my being hurt mattered to you?

Or if the problem is more Dick being resentful that Bruce adopted Jason and not him, maybe Bruce explaining this to Jason and that Jason wasn’t the one Dick was actually mad at, which again, more than likely would have prompted the extremely empathetic Jason to go umm, wtf are you talking to me about this for then, if you think he’s upset about that why the fuck aren’t you going to talk to him about it and tell him all this stuff about regretting not adopting him before now and sparing him this hurt instead? Like what are you waiting for old man, your fucking helicopter to come pick you up? NOW. Go NOW. You’re not getting any younger, geez Louise, why are old people so dumb.

Or maybe like.....Bruce going to Dick and expressing how sorry he is that he didn’t consider how Dick would feel about.....look, you see where I’m going with this, right? You get it? Its not actually all that tricky to grasp?

Or hell, maybe even just in a fic where Jason nurses his own resentment over the fact that he’s heard so much about Dick and looked forward to meeting him and yet months and months go by since Jason’s adoption and in all that time his alleged big brother apparently can’t even be bothered to come introduce himself, RIP Jason’s feelings, guess he can’t possibly matter all that much to the guy, way to welcome him to the family......

I mean, its not like THAT thought neeeeeeever comes up in fic, so its like, hmmm, counterpoint, but where are all the fics that take the angle of rather than let Jason think he doesn’t matter to his predecessor and let Dick take all the blame for this impression when there’s LITERALLY nothing Dick could do about it since he found out about Jason from the freaking newspaper months after the adoption and only after Jason debuted as Robin.....maybe Bruce, could again, just like....start a conversation. And be like Jason I seem to have inadvertently given you the wrong impression here, but trust me, Dick not coming to meet you before now had nothing whatsoever to do with you and was purely because I never actually told him about you.

Again, cut to Jason, the actual brains of the family at this point in time, staring at Bruce with his mouth hanging open:

“Wait, so you’re telling me that after the two of you had this big fight and you haven’t seen him in like eighteen months, AND after his eighteenth birthday came and went without you bothering to even call him and let him know you still wanted him in your life despite him no longer legally being your ward, AND after you went and took me in and adopted me......you never at any point picked up the phone and said hey kid that I raised and consider family and still want to be part of my family no matter how long its been since we talked......I just thought you should know, given that we’re still family and all, that our family is now bigger, because that’s information that is kinda key to give to people you consider family, as NOT keeping them in that loop could kinda sorta maaaaaaybe give them the impression that you DON’T think of them that way or else you would have thought this was relevant information for them to have?”

Bruce: I’m not sure I see where you’re going with this.

Jason: How are you this dumb. No but seriously. HOW.

Anywho, cut to me, twiddling my thumbs here all super casual like.....

But HMMM, isn’t it WEIRD how fandom, which is totally better than canon, and definitely does not have patience for that unnecessary family angst porn DC is so obsessed with and just wants these goshdarn idiots to be a FAMILY, like......neeeeeeeeever utilizes the transformative power of fanfic and their much more reliable takes on Good Parent Bruce Wayne to like....have Bruce....do something about the problems between past Dick and Jason? In any of these fics? And instead has him just....let the opportunities to make things better for them, AND HIMSELF in the process, just like.....sail away into the rear view mirror, waving a hand at them as they pass, content to let things fester and worsen until cut to after Jason’s return, like.....oh gee, really wish something could have been done about the relationship between Dick and Jason way back when, maybe Jason could have benefited from another close relationship in his life then and maybe Dick might not be as bad off now if he wasn’t burdened with unnecessary guilt over having had human emotions when he was a teenager?

So so SO weird that this angle never comes up or gets tackled in ANY fics that emphasize Dick’s alleged history of being an asshole to Jason and the reason they were never close or barely knew each other. I mean, its such an EASY and OBVIOUS fix to all that, don’t you think?

Unless, of course.....in the fics that make an emphasis of this fandom created dynamic.....its not actually considered a problem to fix at all.

But rather, this manufactured dynamic IS the fix, to what they see as the ACTUAL problem......any kind of real or explored focus on what Bruce actually DID and didn’t do, that caused the resentment they’re all too happy to show Dick nursing, but seem keeeeeeeeenly deft in avoiding any exploration of him FEELING. Except of course when it comes to a reason for him to feel even guiltier BECAUSE of it.

Its almost like we would have had a ton more variety in how fics depict the early years between Dick and Jason, perks of this oh so easily arrived at fix-it angle.....unless those fics were always doing exactly what they intended by keeping every one in the comments sections so busy commenting on what a jerk Dick was in that chapter or in the older events that chapter mentioned, that they just so happen to never really spend much time considering Bruce’s inciting choices back then to be AS worthy of comment or criticism.

Idk you guys, I just happen to find it kinda hilar in that ‘what a weird coeenkeedink kinda way’ that so many of the things a lot of fandom are EXTREMELY loud about holding against Dick (whether Dick did or not actually do those things in the first place)....just so happen to be the very things that most of these same people REFUSE to ever hold Bruce accountable for, or admit that he actually did.

Y’know, like how Bruce never actually fired Dick as Robin, that was just a retcon (when there’s literally been more versions of events where Dick WAS fired than WASN’T at this point).....but meanwhile, Dick very much definitely did FIRE Tim, that was exactly how that went down.

Or how similarly, Bruce neeeeeever actually kicked Dick out, let alone made him give back his keys, but Dick DEFINITELY kicked Tim out of house and Gotham.....even though Dick literally did none of that and in fact was living at the penthouse the whole time he was Batman, meaning Wayne Manor was perfectly available to be Tim’s home base the whole time, if he’d wanted it.

Or how Bruce has never lifted a finger at his eldest, or thrown any kind of a temper tantrum, because he is a good person who would obviously never ever do that, BUT if the son he spent the longest time raising just so HAPPENS to end up with a reputation of having a hair-trigger temper, going off at the drop of a hat, blowing things all out of proportion and lashing out physically whenever he’s overwhelmed emotionally.....well, that certainly has nothing to do with Bruce or anything he’s ever done, lol why would it, BUT its definitely something that needs to be commented on time and time again because it very much did happen all these times in canon, whereas all these times you’re talking about with Bruce are very clearly out of character writing because see, Bruce just isn’t like that, uh doy.

Or how Bruce definitely wasn’t being problematic as hell when it came to his non-interactions with Dick back when Jason was living with him, but Dick’s non-interactions with Jason are 10000x more worthy of comment and criticism. And Dick’s responsibilities towards the emotional wellbeing of the kid he didn’t pick to be his family and wasn’t even actually legally family with at the time, let alone actually obligated to, are definitely the same as Bruce’s responsibilities to the emotional wellbeing of both the kids he did actually pick to be his family and did actually make obligations to. Thus the one is definitely more deserving of a call-out post than the other....wait, what? Dammit, I was SURE my math checked out on that one this time. Well fuck a duck, now I am THOROUGHLY flummoxed by all this.

Yup.....

Just really funny in that lmao ‘actually not at all sorta’ way, how its the extremely PRECISE things that so many fans absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge Bruce ever doing, that they just can’t help but ‘expose’ as a mere retcon, bad writing, ooc behavior, writers just ‘not getting who Bruce Wayne is,’ etc, etc, whenever it does get brought up by other people....

It just so happens to be these very specific things that come up time and time again as the things people just WILL NOT LET GO when it comes to Dick doing them.....even when.....in most cases he didn’t even actually do them! Not because they were ‘mere retcons’ or just ‘bad writing’ or ‘ooc behavior’ or ‘writers just not getting who Dick Grayson is’....but because they literally. Did not. Happen. Until fandom for some reason - ‘despite’ HATING canon for having Bruce do THESE VERY SAME THINGS - put their own interpretative or transformative spin on things and MADE those things happen in such huge numbers that a lot of new fans coming into fandom by way of fics honestly believe that THESE are the canon moments and its the ones attributed to Bruce that are just fans of other characters having their sour grapes moments.

I mean....

You gotta laugh.

Anyway. So I mean, unless I’m just totally reading the room wrong, I’d have to hazard a guess that the only real reason we NEVER see fics addressing things the way I outlined in my earliest examples at the start of this post.....is that a whole lot of fandom just kinda decided over the years that it was just waaaaaay easier to just redirect peoples’ ire at other characters, away from Bruce, than it was to go to the trouble of like....actually ADDRESSING Bruce’s pesky little canon mistakes.

Cuz see....writing a happier, more united Batfam in the years before Jason’s death is only a fix-it fic if the problem you’re fixing is the family’s relationships.....and not ‘Bruce acknowledging - let alone taking ownership of - his mistakes.’ If the latter is the REAL problem, well a more ‘together’ family isn’t something you actually need at all....you just need someone else to pin its divisiness on.

But I digress.

Aaaaaanyway.....now standard stock disclaimer that as I’ve always always always said....I don’t actually hate Bruce nor do I have anything whatsoever against Good Dad Bruce.....my issues are always just with peoples’ approach to his canon mistakes or poor writing being to double down on the problem but just make it someone else’s. And that one little thing where the Smartest Man In The World can come up with a way to fight Doomsday with a paper clip and some chewing gum, but goshdarnnit if he’s not completely helpless and powerless when it comes to fixing his own mistakes or interceding in his childrens’ emotional problems.

(As in by just y’know, parenting them. Sitting them down for a conversation. No, bugging their apartments and calling that his love language doesn’t count.)

Also, an Honorable Mention Pet Peeve goes out to all the fans who love to dismiss Dick Grayson stans raising this issue because ‘this sort of thing happens with all the characters’ when lololololol, no, it really actually does not. Given the weeeeeeeird similarities and parallels in the very specific things we tend to gripe about Bruce doing in canon and others tend to gripe about Dick doing in fanon, like, I’d actually think some of you would be a bit more empathetic about how much it sucks seeing your fave character condemned for stuff like this, given the lengths you go to when avoiding acknowledging Bruce doing it. But then again, that would defeat the point of attributing all that to a Bruce scapegoat instead of a Bruce in the first place, so I mean, I guess not actually.

But whatevs. I guess I’m just not able to grasp the nuances of how people criticizing or even fixating on some of Bruce’s worse actions in canon gains the ire of fans who are like, I am just here rolling my eyes at you guys for being so addicted to your shitty misery porn that you like, just loooooove going with the takes where Bruce is just the worst person ever and a totally shitty dad....

While meanwhile.....many of those exact same fans.....

Two seconds later: Now if you don’t mind, we have to get back to making up scenarios and bad faith interpretations that paint Dick as being just the worst person ever and a totally shitty brother or son. But in a not-that-we’re-addicted-to-shitty-misery-porn kinda way or whatever, because we’re obvs SO not, that’s YOU guys, this is totally different. We don’t LIKE doing this, we’re only doing it because we HAVE to. It has nothing to do with us not actually minding the writing or the content of what’s being written whatsoever, we just don’t like that it makes Bruce look bad, and as long as you keep fixating on how it makes Bruce look like, duh, what other choice do we have but to make someone else look worse instead? When you think about it, this is all your fault, really.

Anyway. You just gotta love the takeaway.

Us: Griping about something Bruce does in canon and how the writers portrayed it and any resulting followup.

Others in Fandom: manufactures a parallel scenario with Bad Brother/Son Dick Grayson out of a single out of context panel, tinfoil and some dental floss.

Fandom: These two situations are the same.

Us: Okay but see they’re really fucking not tho, is the thing....

#its a Friday night gripe #and Im feeling ripe....#wait. no #thats not a thing i take it back guys I promise Im not ripe I bathe Im hygienic #I Swear

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pikablu410 · 4 years

Text

Baked Goods

The sun was out, a few clouds scattered about, and the wind was at Tim’s back as he walked to a group mate's house on a Saturday afternoon. Tim was a young guy, a junior in high school, and with the physique of one. He was pretty thin, with a bit of muscle from hormones and whatnot. Tim never really prided himself on his body, but he wasn’t really ashamed of it. Plus, he was planning on going to the gym more often during the summer to build some muscle.

Tim was wearing some white sneakers, a black t-shirt, and some jeans. He just got on the first things he saw in his closet, not really bothering to think about his outfit too much since he was just going to see some friends today.

While Tim didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for Josh, the group mate’s house he was walking to, he was forced to work with him since his other friends, Dylan and Austin, had chosen him to work on a group project with them. Josh didn’t live far away from all of them, so they were all able to meet up at his house to work on the project easily and quickly.

Josh was also openly gay, while neither Tim nor his friends working on the project were. Regardless, none of them saw it as an issue since Josh was nice person who everyone just saw as the gay kid at school. Sure, he could be a little too open about his affection towards other guys, fondling their hair and getting a bit too close to them, but he never intended to be weird or harmful. Tim didn’t really care either way since he hadn’t interacted with Josh before, and he didn’t plan on talking to him more after this. This was just a group project; nothing more, nothing less.

Tim walked up the concrete steps to Josh’s house and knocked three times in succession. Quickly afterwards, a bit too quickly for Tim who jumped back when the door suddenly opened, Josh was at the doorstep welcoming Tim inside.

“Hey Tim! Glad to see you got here safe!” Josh kindly sang. He was a person who always put on a joyful front, which was a bit annoying but Tim decided he could deal with it.

“Am I the first one here? There’s no papers out or anything.” Tim observed, walking into the living room where an oak coffee table sat in front of a dark blue, comfy looking sofa.

“Yeah, Austin said he was almost here. I’m not sure where Dylan is, but he hasn’t said he isn’t coming at least!” Josh joked, hoping to brighten the mood. He didn’t know Tim too well, so he was hoping he could strengthen the friendship while he had the chance.

“Oh! I’m trying to get into baking, too. I made some cookies for you guys since we’ll be working on this for a bit!” Josh said, placing down a platter of cookies on the coffee table, as well as a glass of milk.

“Uh, thanks?” Tim said, sitting down on the sofa. He didn’t think this project would take more than an hour, but if Josh wanted to bake he wasn’t going to stop him.

A few minutes passed by with Tim just watching whatever was playing on TV. He had expected either Austin or Dylan to show up at one point, but neither did.

“What’s taking them so long?” Tim thought to himself. He had wanted to finish this early so he could get it out of the way, but it was taking longer than he thought it would have.

The smell of cookies distracted Tim, as they had been sitting out for a while. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but they did smell good. He figured why not, and decided to take a bite out of one of the cookies. They tasted astounding. Despite being out for a good 5 minutes, the chocolate melted in Tim’s mouth. The cookie itself, like the chocolate, also seemed to melt once it hit his tongue. Tim immediately took another bite and quickly finished that cookie before eagerly grabbing another. He remembered the milk and took occasional sips from that as well as he ate the cookies.

Tim ate like a starved man, grabbing cookie after cookie in each hand, stuffing more and more down his gullet like he was insatiable. It wasn’t long before he finished the entire platter, chugging the rest of the milk down as he did so. He let out a small burp before placing the empty glass back on the table and putting his hand on his stomach. It felt a little more bloated than usual, which made sense to Tim as he had just stuffed himself full of cookies. However, it was a weird feeling of squishy flab, and not a taut, bloated feeling he was expecting.

As Tim finished the cookies and was a bit taken back by the results, Josh walked in with a plate full of brownies and a gallon of milk.

“It looks like you enjoyed my cookies! I knew a chubster like you would!” Josh giggled, sitting down next to Tim and jiggling his belly.

Tim just laughed with Josh. He wasn’t really chubby, but he did have a slight belly. He just liked to eat a lot, is all! None of his body jiggled like one would expect an overweight person’s to, so Tim didn’t really see it as an immediate issue. It was recent too, so he knew he could work it off in no time. That’s why he walked over to Josh’s instead of getting a ride, but he regretted that when got he got tired and started to sweat after a minute of walking.

Regardless there was a plate with new baked goods on it, and if they were as good as the cookies Tim knew these would be heavenly. Forgetting about his weight problem for a bit, he dug into the brownies with as much gusto as he had with the cookies, continuing to take sips of the milk as he ate. It was creamy, delicious and helped Tim wash down the food he was eating. And was the food ever good! The brownies lived up to Tim’s expectations and then some! They were dripping with gooey chocolate when he bit into them, and they were just as soft and delicious as the cookies.

Again, as he finished, Tim drank the rest of the milk down. He let out a slightly bigger belch than last time, though it could still barely be called a belch. He set his hand on his stomach again and was confused for a bit when his hand came into contact with his belly much sooner than he had expected.

“You finished the brownies already? Wow, you must sure be hungry, but I guess it makes sense for a guy as big as you to be that hungry.” Josh said as he walked into the living room with two plates of cookies and brownies.

“What do you mean by that?” Tim asked, letting out a sizeable belch afterwards.

“Oh, you know what I mean. Your belly! It’s getting pretty big at this point, I don’t think you can just lose it in a week like you’re saying.” Josh said, rubbing Tim’s belly as he talked, as if to emphasize his point. “It’s even starting to lift your shirt up a bit! How much do you have to eat for that to happen?” Josh half asked, half joked. Tim laughed, though, realizing Josh’s point.

He was getting pretty chubby, his belly emphasizing that. His clothes were pretty tight with his shirt showcasing how large his belly had grown. Tim’s jeans were also being strained by his legs, not to mention his plumpened rear pushing against the back of the jeans. His moobs were almost visible through his tight shirt, too, though if Tim was standing it wouldn’t have been so obvious. And Josh was right, there was a small part of his belly at the bottom of his shirt that was starting to peak through. Tim didn’t really mind, though. He had always been a bit chubby as far as he could remember.

But now that there were plates of cookies and brownies in front of him again Tim’s mind wasn’t focusing on his weight, but rather the cause behind his weight. He started to stuff his gullet with the treats faster than anyone would expect someone of his size to. Still, if anything would cause him to be this eager, it would be good food. Tim ate so fast he was starting to get messy with his food, wanting to devour the tasty treats in front of him instead of monitor his hygiene. He figured no one would mind anyways, since all of the guys in his group were cool with each other.

As gooey chocolate covered the edge’s of Tim’s mouth and chocolate chips fell to the floor, Tim was starting to finish up this next batch of treats. He went to sit back and enjoy the sight of an empty plate, but was surprised to see more cookies and brownies left on the dish. In fact, there looked like there were more than when Josh had left the plates originally. His glass of milk was even full again, too. Tim just shrugged off the eerie occurrence, figuring he had just missed Josh put out more to eat and drink while he was busy eating.

This cycle continued for a bit, with Tim continuing to eat without questioning as to why more food was out for him to eat. However, there came a point where Tim finished all his milk and looked down at the plates to see that nothing was left; Josh hadn’t come to refill them. Tim smiled knowing he could now take a break, leaning back and letting out a big belch.

“I hope you enjoyed the snacks, big boy.” Josh teased as he jiggled Tim’s belly. Tim, again, just chuckled and knew Josh was right.

Tim’s belly lifted up his shirt completely, and it was even starting to show a bit of his moobs too. They wrapped around his body, creating a roll all on their own as well as starting to push Tim’s arms up a bit. Tim’s pants weren’t fairing well either, being pushed to their limits by his thicker thighs that were as wide as a person at a normal weight’s waist. His two, huge globes that made his butt also strained his pants, taking up one entire couch cushion and starting to creep over into the other 2 cushions. Tim’s face wasn’t spared from his weight either, having a second chin as well as cheeks that made him look like there was always food in his mouth.

“I might be big, but you don’t have to keep teasing me about it.” Tim joked, rubbing his belly.

“But if I don’t tell you you’re getting fat, who will?” Josh teased again, slapping Tim’s belly causing it to go into a frenzy of a jiggle.

“Besides,” Josh continued, “I think you like all this weight anyways.” Josh sat down next to Tim and started to stroke his flab. “You could’ve just worked off this weight, but instead you keep putting more and more on.” Josh said seductively, almost as a whisper. He continued to stroke Tim’s fat and jiggle it occasionally. “I remember freshman year, when you were just chubby. Now look at you! You’re definitely fat! How long until I get to tease you for being obese? Maybe I already can do that!” Josh teased some more, jiggling Tim’s right moob to emphasize the point.

As Josh continued his work on Tim, Tim started to feel something under his gut. A longing in his groin that he needed to satisfy. He let out a moan as Josh continued to go over his body, realizing just how big he was. Tim tried to reach under his belly to relieve himself, but he couldn’t get past his big belly.

Josh devilishly smiled watching the horny fat boy try to pleasure himself, only to be denied by what turns him on the most. “Don’t worry chubby, I’ll help.” Josh offered, reaching his hand under Tim’s big belly. Not long after that Tim let out a much louder moan, confirming to Josh that he found what he desired. He slowly jerked the fatty off, dooming him to love his fat even more than before. Tim just let out orgasmic moans, submitting to Josh if only for pleasure.

As it turns out, Tim was quite easy to please as he came shortly after Josh started to jerk him off. “Now that you’ve been taken care of, I hope you’re ready for more treats!” Josh cheered as he cleaned his hand off.

“Yes! Please more!” Tim merely shouted, eager to eat more of whatever Josh baked for him.

This time it turned out to be more brownies and cookies, as well as cupcake and donuts too. If Tim wasn’t so eager to dig in, he would’ve noticed these treats were much larger than before, and larger than any version from any place that sells baked goods. The cookies were at least an inch thick with many more chocolate chips, the brownies looked to be double the width of the cookies, the cupcakes were 5 inches tall with the icing being the same if not larger than the actual cupcakes, and the donuts looked as inflated with fat as Tim did, looking less like rings and more like piles of dough with icing on top of them.

Tim didn’t bother with any of those details though, and just decided to eat what was served to him. He continued to eat as he did before, not caring that he made a mess as he did so. Now, however, with more of his body exposed he was able to get more of the mess on himself instead of his surroundings, though chocolate and icing did spread around Tim too. Icing got around Tim’s mouth, chocolate sauce got in between his moobs and his rolls of fat and crumbs accumulated nearly everywhere on him -- even in his bellybutton!

Tears could be heard as the boy continued to gorge, his clothes becoming a thing of the past. Tim also didn’t bother to notice that the treats never dwindled in amount, as he was too busy focusing on which he would eat next to care if he was close to running out. He never was in danger of running out, though, as there seemed to be an endless supply of the treats for him to eat! If Tim knew this, he would’ve been ecstatic about it, but the piggish boy was too busy stuffing himself to gluttony and back to care.

As Tim continued his pig out, he was started to let out more belches as he ate. It was as if whenever he took a break to take a long sip of milk he would let out a loud, long belch. Of course, the glass of milk was larger than it had originally been, but the size of Tim’s belch couldn’t have simply been caused by drinking more milk. That wasn’t to mention his farts, which started to ramp up the more he ate. He was letting out more and more gas the more treats that got in his tummy, and he seemed to be enjoying it all. His love for fat seemed to be leaking into all these other traits, so the more he ate the more he desired for, well, more!

Sadly for Tim, when he went to grab more treats his chubby palm found nothing but empty ceramic. He had finally eaten all his treats up! And, as if on cue, Josh came in to check on the boy.

“Wow, I didn’t think you would eat all of my baking, but I’m glad you’re enjoying it so much you fatso!” Josh joking, giving a slap to Tim’s gut, causing Tim to let out a humongous belch. He also giggled a bit, but more at his belch than Josh’s joke about his weight.

“God you’re huge, I mean just look at you!” Josh said, acting astounded.

“Yeah, I know. I’m pretty fucking fat!” Tim stated, almost as if he was proud of the fact.

And Tim was actually pretty fat. His stomach was so huge that none of his shirts fit completely over it and usually he just didn’t put on a shirt, like he was doing now. He figured his friends wouldn’t care if he was shirtless. Besides, he hadn’t come over to Josh’s house for anything major, right? He had somehow forgotten why he was at Josh’s place. It was probably just to taste test Josh’s food, since Josh knew he loved to eat tons.

Tim’s moobs sat atop his big belly, almost as if they were being shelved there. They were each the size of a grapefruit, with his nipples erect from how big he was. Tim tried to grasp them in his hands, but he couldn’t quite get all of his moob in one hand, just showing how big they were.

His legs were incredibly thick too, now being as thick as tree trunks at the thinnest part, and being incomparably wide at the wider parts--namely where his thighs and butt met. However, his pants were tough enough to stay on, though there were many rips on the jeans. Tim figured having some pants on was better than having no pants on, even if his rear was almost completely visible because of how much the back of his pants were torn. Speaking of his rear, Tim’s butt cheeks were each the size of an exercise ball and were starting to creep into the adjacent couch cushions. They jiggled like mad whenever he let out gas, and that jiggling only encouraged Tim to be gassier, as the feeling brought great pleasure to him.

Tim’s face looked like it was inflated, with his cheeks being jiggly sacks that looked like they were filled with lard. His chins, totaling in three, were hanging down from his face, causing it to be difficult to look down towards his belly. Tim didn’t mind, though, as they reminded him of how big he was.

Speaking of Tim’s affection for his fat, Tim’s hardness in his crotch hadn’t gone away since Josh had pleasured him moments earlier. Which was weird, because from what Josh had heard from the big boy while he was eating had suggested he came multiple times while he ate. Either his libido was that strong or Josh misunderstood, but judging by how loud Tim’s moans were when he was eating Josh was assuming the prior.

“Where’s more food? I’m hungry.” Tim asked demandingly as he rubbed his huge belly, letting out a fart as he did so.

Josh laughed, and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be right back.” He walked into the kitchen and brought back a sight that made Tim’s huge body jiggle up and down with excitement.

On the plate was a towering cake, covered in icing-both vanilla and chocolate-as well as chocolate fudge which oozed from each layer down to the next. Before Josh could even say “Dig in” Tim was already attacking the cake with his bare hands, not really caring that a fork and a knife were on the table in front of him. To him, eating with his bare hands was the fastest way the food would get in his stomach, so he didn’t care that it was also the messiest way to get the food in him.

Chocolate covered Tim’s hands and the edges of his mouth as he feasted on the cake. It had to be almost twice the size of a wedding cake, but Tim acted like it was completely normal. That, or he didn’t care that the cake was huge, just that he was hungry. It was probably the latter, because he got chocolate and icing all over his hands, which got all over his belly when he went to go rub his stomach while eating.

What Tim also didn’t notice is that the huge cake wasn’t really diminishing in size. Much like his last gorge on the plates of baked goods, the cake still seemed like it had been untouched by Tim. Though, much like with the previous meal, Tim didn’t notice and just ate to his heart’s content. He cared more about getting the food in him than how much of it was left.

As Tim ate, the sensation under his gut started to be less cyclical, with ups and downs of the feeling, and more of a constant pleasure. He felt like he needed to be constantly pleased, his appetite for food only fueling this desire, ironically enough.

His gas also became constant, and the boy started to sweat a lot more too. It was most likely from all the weight on his body, but there was no denying it was a bit excessive. Drips of salty exhaustion went in between his fat folds, fell off his arms and swam down his body to his thickened thighs.

After what seemed like an eternity, but hadn’t actually been more than half an hour, Tim had finished the cake. Just like with the rest of his meals he let out a belch, but this belch was something more than the other ones that had preceded it. This belch shook the entire house, and Tim’s body for a good few seconds with it.

“Seems like you enjoyed the cake, huh piggy?” Josh teased Tim, slapping his fat which caused some of the sweat to fly off the Tim’s entire body to jiggle vigorously.

“Yeah!” Tim started, his statement interrupted by a fart he laughed at. “I want more! I’m so hungry!” The boy whined, jiggling his body in frustration.

“Don’t worry, you’ll never be underfed while you’re here. But I have a surprise for you, it’s upstairs though, do you think your huge body can make it?” Josh asked, though he was still poking fun at Tim.

Tim was never really known for his movement. He barely left the house unless it was for a good reason. And his size was a testament to that. He had a gut that went down to his knees when he stood up, and when he was sitting it still went to his knees! It jiggled at the slightest movements, and with how gassy Tim was known to be it was almost constantly jiggling. Tim enjoyed the feeling though, as if it was a constant, subtle tickle, so he was pretty gassy a majority of the time.

On top of his belly sat two moobs that outclassed any woman’s breasts you’d ever seen. Tim liked to grope them as he ate, which resulted in them getting even messier than they usually would be. They sank under his arms, due to how big they had gotten, and his nipples were constantly erect with how much Tim loved to eat. Tim’s arms were quite thick, too, being twice the size of a normal person’s waist. Tim didn’t move them much other than to eat, though, and he was starting to get thoughts of asking people to feed him since he didn’t want to use all the work to move his arms to eat.

If his arms were thick, then his legs were enormous. They were spread halfway onto the other couch cushions, making it difficult for anyone else to sit on the couch besides Tim. Tim’s legs almost held all of his belly when he sat, but a bit of the edge sank off. Even still, they could hold a dozen kids and still have a bit of room left over. The didn’t look suitable to moving, but Tim wasn’t doing much of that normally anyways. He had gotten a ride over to Josh’s house, after all.

Tim’s face was also filled with fat. His cheeks were starting to mess with his eyesight, and he had 3 rings of chins going around his face when he sat down. He didn’t seem to mind, even if it caused him to be even messier as a result.

“You’ll need to help me...up there.” Tim panted out, trying to get up on his own.

Josh went over to Tim and helped the blobby boy up, with Tim letting out a fart as he got up. He laughed a bit and then placed his arm around Josh’s neck so he could be supported. Then, slowly but surely, the two started to walk upstairs. Well, Tim waddled, but that was besides the point. Tim was already drenched in sweat by the time he was at the stairs, and he was sounding like he was out of breath too.

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there. And it’ll be worth it too!” Josh encouraged, which helped Tim lift his his huge up each stair. He was struggling a bunch, but the promise of something great encouraged the greedy glutton further.

Once Tim was upstairs, Josh led him to a bedroom and opened the door. What he saw at first shocked him

“Tim!” A hugely fat blob cheered out, jiggling a ton as a result. He looked to be around the same size as Tim and munching on some donuts while watching some mindless show on the flat screen TV to the right of the king sized bed he was on.

“Aren’t you glad to see Austin, Tim?” Josh asked, though he had a sinister tone behind his question.

Tim’s brain was wracked with questions. How did Austin get here? Was he always so big? What was even happening today and why was his memory so fuzzy?

Josh noticed Tim’s confusion and decided to clear it all up.

“Doesn’t he look so sexy?” Josh asked, but it was more of a suggestion than anything.

Tim, who was once wrought with worry, now looked like he was going to drool over his best friend. “Yeah...he’s so big and hot.” Tim mumbled out.

Josh had to stop himself from laughing and helped move Tim onto the bed. Again, it was a struggle, but Tim managed to fall onto the bed. Josh then shoved Austin onto his stomach, who continued eating his donuts in front of him. By some instinct, Tim knew what he wanted to do and started to maneuver his way towards his knocked-over friend. After a few seconds, Tim had inserted himself into Austin, who gasped at the sudden feeling. He kept eating, though, while Tim started to fuck him.

As Tim continued to have sex with his best friend, memories started to flood back to him for seemingly no reason. He remembered that he actually lived here, because no one could handle Tim and Austin’s appetites besides Josh, and that their families had kicked them out because they ate so much. And Tim realized Austin was actually his boyfriend, who he loved dearly. Him being huge was an added bonus, with Tim realizing how much he loved fat while memories came back to him. He loved being huge, just being able to eat, and having no responsibilities. Tim thought he was forgetting something, however. Like a responsibility he had to complete for some reason. As he came into Austin, however, he quickly forgot about it. He never had any responsibilities. Just eat, grow and have sex with his beautiful boyfriend Austin. He sat back, the bed drenched in sweat now, let out a huge belch and decided to eat and watch whatever was on TV with Austin.

Downstairs, there was a knock at the door.

“Ah, Dylan! Tim and Austin said they’d be here soon. Would you like to try out my baking in the meantime, though?” Josh asked.

#weight gain #weight gain stories #gay weight gain story #male weight gain

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 3 years

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CALL ME CAT, chapter sixteen

Summer 2018

The only thing worse than being hungover was having to face all of them the next morning. I didn’t remember much between quitting and climbing onto the bus, Jules draped a blanket over me and suddenly the sun was rising.

Now I sat in a hotel room somewhere, squinting at the beams of light through the window and reaching out for a cup of coffee that Leah handed over.

“Thanks,” I said, my voice quiet.

She was silent for a moment, watched me take a sip before she spoke. “Do you really want out?”

I thought about it for a second. Somehow, the entire time the band gained traction and our careers got bigger and better, my life seemed to spiral out of control and I became more of a mess than I thought humanly possible. So I nodded.

The door pushed open, Ian was in the same clothes from the night before, bags under his eyes let me know that I’d created a hellish task for him. Ask about paperwork, call the right people, figure out what the hell was going on.

“Hi,” he said, hands in his pockets, a quick sigh before he made eye contact. “How do you feel?”

I let out a sarcastic laugh, unsure if he was asking to be nice or to rub it in my face that I had been a drunk mess for the umpteenth time.

“Like shit, Ian.”

“Right,” he nodded. “Well, I need to know if you’re actually leaving or if that was just you being drunk and upset. Either way we need to have a whole meeting this morning about what went on and what we do moving forward. Last night was not okay.”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, unprepared for his directness. “I meant it,” I told him.

A pause, almost like he didn’t really think it would happen. “Uh, okay,” he looked around the room and pulled out his phone. “I have to call people then. Can I ask you a question, first?”

Hands around the coffee cup, I said: “Shoot.”

“Is this about Harry?”

“No,” I shook my head. “It’s about me.”

It was partially about Harry. I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t stand the constant tug of war or the impossible task of trying to understand him. I figured it was best to not try at all.

The door pushed open again, Niall was on the other side, his lips parted when he saw me. “Already signing shit?”

“Niall,” Ian sighed, hoping to not let things get as rowdy as they did the night before. His voice was tired and the way he said Niall’s name told me that a confrontation was the last thing he needed right now.

“Already dissolving everything we worked for?”

“What’s happening?” Miles popped up behind him, then Harry and Jules.

More nervous squirming on my end. Ian hadn’t mentioned the meeting would be now.

“Nothing is happening, we’re talking,” Ian said when he turned to face them. “And since you’re all here, I guess you can come in.”

They filed in, quiet and angry and unsure what was happening. I tried to focus my gaze on the lid of my latte. Steam had gathered underneath, tiny bubbles of heat were trapped inside--like I was trapped in this room. They sat on a sofa and Jules took to the floor, eyes avoiding mine when I finally had the courage to look up.

“Do you want to tell them?” Ian turned to me.

I shook my head, sipped my coffee again and wished I could sink into the chair. Could they blame me? Did any of them think that this was good for any of us?

“Cat is looking to leave the band,” Ian nodded. “I have to call people and figure out what type of paperwork needs to happen. I’ll have things to sign for all of you--I’m going to have to talk to the label’s lawyer first, though.”

“So that’s just it?” Niall asked again, his eyes pointed at me with a furious stare. “You’re a liar and a quitter?”

“Niall I don’t think you really understand,” I told him, anger rising in my voice. “But if you’d like to make a lot of assumptions, by all means, go ahead.”

“S’my only choice, right? Since you’ve been lying.”

“You guys need to figure out what you’re doing from here. Are you interested in staying in the band?” Ian tried to break up the tension, held a hand in my direction to quiet me.

“Without Cat?” Miles asked, a wrinkle in his forehead when he made eye contact with me. “With no lead singer?”

“Just the four of us?” Jules pulled her legs up to her chest, her voice was quiet and high pitched.

“Yeah, I mean, the four of you can continue on.”

“I don’t know,” Niall let out a breath. “I’m too pissed off to figure out what the fuck we should do.”

“Right,” Ian nodded. “Think about it. But we need to cancel the show tonight, and tomorrow, really. Before we figure out what the next step is.”

Niall looked up at me and shook his head, a sarcastic laugh before he said: “Great, cancel them.”

The swampy landscape of Florida passed by my window, the white lines on the edge of the street blurred as we neared my parents’ house. Heart in my throat when I knocked on the door, the only thing more embarrassing than hiding out in Florida while headlines blew over was realizing I didn’t have a key to my childhood home.

Marta smiled when she tugged the door open, wrapped her arms around me and didn’t say anything, she didn’t need to.

But my mother did. She appeared around the corner, glasses perched on her nose and expecting eyes that grazed over my figure. “You look tired.”

I held back an unsurprised laugh. “I am,” I admitted. “It’s been a busy few days.”

“Quitting your band and coming home doesn’t sound busy.”

“Well, it was a lot of paperwork.”

Marta tried to ease the tension. “Do you want a snack? A drink?”

“I’m fine,” I told her, a reassuring nod before I looked back at my mom. “Thanks for letting me come home.”

“Well…” she made a disapproving sound with her tongue, a shrug of her shoulders as if she always knew the band was destined for failure. “What happened?”

I tilted my head and looked at her for a second. She couldn’t really care--her question was more likely a nosy way to put the puzzle pieces together. I wasn’t stupid enough to think her book club wasn’t asking questions.

“I think I have a drinking problem.”

Her eyes went wide for a second, but she regained her composure in a quick beat. I kept talking before she could say anything.

“And I think you do too, to be honest, but, that’s really none of my business.” I shrugged my shoulders and picked up my suitcase, turned on my feet to head for the stairs.

“Catherine,” her voice was frantic. “Did you just say you think I have a drinking problem?”

“Yep,” I said over my shoulder. She was now a few steps behind me, heels clicking on the marble floors.

“That’s absurd, you’re absolutely out of your mind.” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, lips parted when I turned around to cut her off.

“Maybe I am, mom. Maybe I’m completely fucking neurotic at this point because of you.”

“Me? What are you talking about? How could I possibly have anything to do with your--band mess?”

“Because while you were too busy pouring glass after glass of Chardonnay, I was upstairs having panic attacks and nightmares and developing PTSD. But you didn’t give a fuck.”

She let out a short noise, maybe one of shock or even frustration. “I was grieving, Catherine.”

“Me too, but I guess this house wasn’t big enough for the both of us.”

She didn’t reply, her eyes blinked a few times in a robotic way before I lugged my suitcase up the stairs and slammed my bedroom door shut.

My phone was buzzing every few minutes--messages, DMs, people contacting me in every way to figure out what went wrong and where I was.

But none of my friends. Niall and Jules had no clue where I was. I boarded a plane the night I signed paperwork, only 23 hours after I told them I was out. Landed first in New York to meet with my lawyer, then one with label people to finalize an arrangement. They were free to go on without me if they chose.

Went back to my apartment, poured out the bottles of Tequila and Champagne that had been a mainstay. Threw some clothes in a suitcase and took a car to JFK. Now, here I was, standing in my childhood bedroom with open balcony doors that let in a nice breeze.

Whether or not I felt good about how it came out, the fact that everyone knew was a relief. I didn’t have to shrink away from pictures of Cameron in the bathroom or ignore the memories that still floated to my mind every once in a while. It still hurt, but now that the hurt was out in the open, it could finally breathe.

When I sat on the balcony that night and looked out to the Lagoon, a buzzing from my phone beside me lasted longer than I expected. One, then two, then three. A phone call.

From Lila.

I stared at the screen for a minute, momentarily convincing myself that it was a butt dial, a mistake. Maybe she hadn’t heard what happened.

But then I answered and I didn’t expect her to be so nice.

“Cat! Hi! I was just calling to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m alright,” I said it with a nod, unsure if the words were true or just my automatic answer. “I’m in Florida--at my parents.”

“I figured,” she sighed. “I would need a minute away too.”

“Lila--you’re not mad at me?”

“Mad at you? Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well, I quit the band and I was lying to them for a while and--”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay,” I nodded again. “Are you okay?”

She let out a laugh, not a sarcastic or angry one, but one that let me know the question was ironic. “Well, yeah. But, it’s been kind of wild back here. I just--uh--wanted to let you know that me and Harry broke up.”

“What?” I asked this with more force than I intended. “Wait--when?”

“Yesterday--he was a mess after you left and everything was really stressful, and--”

“He was a mess after I left?”

“Well, he was angry. I mean he’s pretty mad at you and he feels betrayed and--”

“Okay,” I held up a hand even though she couldn’t see me. I didn’t need the details.

“Well you asked.”

“I know--I just, I thought things were going well with you two.”

She let out a sigh. “Yeah, they were. I mean, we were fine, but, I think he’s always going to like you.”

I felt my own eyes go wide, head tilted to the side in the glow of the Palm Beach moon. “Me?”

I didn’t know the right response. Act surprised? Act disgusted? The news was already putting my system into overdrive, the flutter in my heart at her most recent confession made me dizzy.

“Yes, you, Cat--don’t act like it’s such a shock,” she laughed at this like it was silly. “He told me that it wasn’t just once.”

I blew air out between my lips, trying to slow my pulse. “It wasn’t when you were together--he didn’t cheat on you, I promise.”

“I know,” she said. “I told him to call me if he ever gets over you,” she laughed, her voice was sweet and sincere through the phone. “So maybe I’ll hear from him one day, but probably not.”

“Lila,” I breathed out her name and for once, I was at a loss for words. Did I apologize? Did I make some excuse about the tension--whether or not she seemed mad?

“It’s alright, Cat,” she laughed. “Maybe the point of Harry being in my life was so we would find each other. Maybe we’re friend soulmates,” I could hear her smile through the phone, likely from the knowledge that her words would pull an eye roll from me.

But instead I felt my lips turn upward--just a little--when a boat motored by and the leaves of the palm trees danced in the wind.

Out of all of them, Lila was the one to reach out first. Something about it felt ironic and annoying and somehow still completely serendipitous.

And for weeks there were people staked outside the front gate. July slowly bled into August and I prayed that the media coverage would fade with summer. My mom seemed to bask in the glow of flashing cameras and my dad had slowly resigned to the fact that his drives to and from the office were now bookended by questions about what I was doing and if the band was breaking up.

But none of use knew the answer until three weeks in, when my phone rang one night and Niall’s voice was short on the other end.

“D’ya have a minute?”

“Yeah,” I nodded quickly, sat down on my bed and folded my legs beneath me. I didn’t mean to sound eager, but I’d been hoping for an update on their decision: move forward or disband. I’d yet to hear from him at all and was hoping he’d cooled off since I’d last seen him. “What’s up?”

“Well, we, uh--we’ve been meetin’. We talked to Ian, talked to Ron and some label people. We’re not sure we’re going to stay together.”

“You’re not sure?” I repeated his words for clarity. The decision didn’t sound like something that could be left in the gray area.

“We’re not. We’re not going forward.”

Silence for a second. “Oh,” I said. “Are you--how do you feel about that?”

“Weird, honestly. Mad, upset, confused.”

“Yeah.”

“I just don’t get it, Cat--I don’t get how things were going so well and yet everything between us got worse and worse.”

“It’s my fault,” I said the words quietly, more calmness laced between them with some salty air and sunshine now a part of my daily routine. “I should have been more honest with you.”

Another pause, and for a second I wasn’t sure if he’d hung up, angry and let down my by half-assed apology.

“I just wish you hadn’t let Harry get under your skin so much.”

It was a blow I hadn’t expected, I pulled at a thread on my duvet. “It wasn’t just about Harry, Niall,” I tried to not sound angry, looked up at my reflection in the mirror above my dresser. My wet hair was up in a towel, fresh out of the shower and fresh out of patience to talk about Harry.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your brother?”

I stared at the wall, unsure of how to answer his question. On the other side of the sheetrock was the bathroom I’d spent so many nights in. Feet on the cool tile, silently sobbing about the nightmares or wishing it was me and not him.

If he wanted the truth, I would give it to him.

“It was my first chance to not be the girl with the dead brother,” I said harshly. “My parents are shitty people, Niall--and when my brother died,” I paused. The thought had been circling in my brain for so long, but putting it into words for the first time made it hurt more. “To them I just became a reminder of him. And my friends from high school and the people in town--I was just one of two, part of a whole.”

“But you told Jules and not me?”

I grew more impatient. “I was drunk, Niall, and I opened my mouth because Harry was being an asshole.”

“Harry? I thought she found out years ago.”

“Yeah--right after I met Harry.”

“Freshman year?”

I rolled my eyes at all of his questions. “Yes--he was being a dick because he was calling me Catherine when we first met and I hate that name because my mother and my brother are literally the only two people on the planet who call me that.”

Another pause. “Oh,” he said, almost like a puzzle piece had fallen into place. “But you didn’t tell him why you didn’t like that name because you didn’t want to bring up your brother.”

It wasn’t a question, he said the words with conviction, informing himself of the rock and hard place I had been stuck between.

“Telling people within the first two weeks of meeting them that you have a dead twin brother is kind of a vibe killer.”

He let out an awkward laugh, my shoulders felt less tense and I took a leap of faith. “I guess I have PTSD from his death, I mean, I was there. I’ve been googling the symptoms and reading stuff online. I think that’s why I drank so much. Harry constantly calling me that name made all of the memories worse and feel so much closer.”

Quiet again, then he sighed. “I just wish you’d been honest with me.”

I blinked a few times, disappointed that he’d brought it back to the dishonesty and the perceived betrayal when I’d just blurted it all out. I wasn’t left with much in Florida--plenty of time and space to think about the things that had gone wrong and the way I’d reacted. After a few weeks of piecing it together and accepting that maybe there was something wrong with me, maybe I did have a problem--Niall’s lack of response or acknowledgement felt like salt in the wound.

“I know.”

“I just think I need some space, Cat.”

My heart sunk--not that I didn’t know leaving the band would result in this. I was ready for the awkward phone calls and the fumbling to figure out what we were now: friends? Bandmates? Former roommates?

I just hadn’t considered that we’d be nothing, potentially, if he was too hurt.

But after talking to him that night, I wasn’t shocked when Jules wouldn’t answer my calls. At first she’d text back and say she was busy, running an errand or reading Tarot. But after a few weeks of no contact outside of my parents and Marta, reading news articles in my bedroom about the break up and the next steps and the rumors of why it all happened, I called Leah.

“I need to move out,” I told her. “I need to be somewhere other than Florida and other than New York.”

“Okay,” she said, I could hear typing on the other end. “Los Angeles sounds like an option, then.”

“Do you think that’s weird, though? For me to suddenly buy a house in LA?”

“I mean--Ian called me the other day. Said a lot of writing requests have still been coming in since people don’t really know why you left. Los Angeles would be a good place to do that.”

“I’ll write,” I nodded, something in my gut pulled me towards it. “Who’s been asking?”

“A bunch of people, apparently. Ian said there have been more requests since the split. I guess people figure you’re still doing that--I don’t know.”

I paused for a second, thought about what would happen if word got out to Niall or Jules that I was writing for other people. Would they be angry? Would they care?

It felt unfair for me to have to factor them into a decision when they wouldn’t answer my calls. For so long they’d been the people I could count on, no matter how much I fucked up or how bad things got.

But now I didn’t have Niall, I didn’t have Jules, I didn’t have Eddie or Miles. I didn’t have Ian and I didn’t have Harry. I didn’t have a record label and I didn’t have shows to put on. I’d lost almost everything.

And after all of the uncertainty in my life, the only constant was music. I figured I deserved to keep that.

Summer 2019

The knocking sent my heart to my throat, one that I’d been waiting for all morning. The California sun was warm through the windows, and when I opened the door, Jules’s hair was blonder than I remembered and Niall’s was darker.

“Hi,” Jules said, her lips curved up in a small smile. Niall nodded in greeting, I stepped aside, hoping that I didn’t look or sound as stupid as I felt.

“Come in--I can make tea, or coffee or something.”

They stepped inside, took a look around the foyer. Jules hit Niall in the stomach when he didn’t reply, he grunted in response. “Yeah, tea--that’d be lovely.”

I rolled my eyes at his nervousness, let my mouth quirk into a smirk. “We don’t have to act like strangers, you know.”

They both nodded, awkward smiles in return when we stood, frozen in place.

“Does it really feel that way?”

Jules relented first after a tiny giggle. “No--we’re not strangers. We just--it’s been a while.”

Nine months, to be exact. Texts and phone calls and even emails in between, fall turned into winter and by the time Christmas came, I lived on a tree lined street with other celebrities who could afford this level of privacy.

I led them into the kitchen and sighed, put the teapot on the stove. “Well, I kind of had some shit to get together.”

When I turned around and let my hands rest on the counter, Niall took a breath before he spoke. “Glad we’re here, you know, just--I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”

We hadn’t. First we just sent funny videos, memes back and forth and eventually I got added to a group message with both of them in it. Eddie and I would facetime every once in a while, Miles and I would check in every few weeks and I’d send him some songs I was working on.

I nodded, I hadn’t talked much about it with anyone--except for Lila. She visited for the New Year and brought me sparkling cider, it’s without the alcohol, but with all of the bubbles and fun.

“You were too angry to hear me out,” I shrugged my shoulders. True, but also probably not what he wanted to hear.

“Can you blame me, Cat? We worked so hard for that band and that success and it felt like you were throwing it away.”

Jules tensed at his volume, looked at me for a reply.

I nodded, remembered what Lila had advised. Hear them out, validate that they were hurt.

“I know--I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”

This apparently caught Niall off guard--maybe he’d expected me to fight him on it, defend myself or my actions and make it seem like it was his fault.

But it wasn’t. The drinking was my fault. The running from my emotions was my fault. None of them made me behave the way I did.

“I get that you had stuff to figure out with your family, but why didn’t you want to try to work it out with us?”

I sighed, Jules pulled out a stool and sat, her eyes on me as she waited for an answer. I knew the question was coming. I knew they’d want to know and I knew that they probably still felt confused and unsure about what had transpired almost a year ago. I had finally given Niall more information about Cameron, but I’d left out the pieces back then that I hadn’t yet found.

The band had been pulling me down, whether or not I wanted to admit it. Staying in the band meant sacrificing my sanity, and when the moment came to choose one or the other, I had to choose myself.

Fonder couldn’t exist if I wanted to be okay--and if I wanted to be okay then Fonder had to come to an end. I couldn’t have my cake and eat it too.

I shook my head, I didn’t know where to start. “I don’t think I would have been able to do it with all of you guys right there.”

“All of us?” Jules offered a knowing smirk.

I bit at my lip and then admitted: “Harry.”

Jules nodded, Niall dropped my gaze.

Back in the spring Jules finally called me, the flowers had started to bloom and news of my signing with a new publishing company had started to break. I told her I was sorry for how it all played out and she told me that Miles was doing session stuff at New Trick. Eddie was working with other artists and she hadn’t heard from Harry.

So now, May in my Los Angeles kitchen, almost a year after I left them on the road and almost a year since I’d seen or heard from Harry, his name echoed against the granite counter top when Niall met my gaze again.

“He’s been asking about ya.”

I counted to three, play it cool. “You’ve talked to him?”

He kept my gaze, sat beside Jules and I wondered if this was a test. They’d planted the seed about visiting me in February, they opted to stay at a hotel and Niall told us he’d been in the studio working on a solo project. I think he expected me to be mad, but I was just proud.

“He might lay some bass tracks for the stuff I’ve been doing.”

I nodded. “I didn’t know if he was still playing or what he was up to.”

“Did some stuff with Vince, actually, did some session stuff with them for a while, continues to be a heartthrob, the usual.” He cracked a smile at that, Jules rolled her eyes when the tea kettle whistled.

“Actually, Cat, there was something we wanted to talk to you about.”

I poured the water into three cups, kept my back to them when I replied casually: “what’s up?”

I had no clue what it was. No idea what they wanted to discuss and no idea if they were using this visit as an opportunity to corner me.

“My birthday’s soon and I wanted to have a party in New York. We wanted you to come.”

It felt too soon for a reunion. Didn’t this type of thing come years later? When one of us was married or when someone had a baby? I turned around and pushed the cups towards them, offered a few options for tea before I replied. “With, like, everyone?”

Niall pulled a bag out of it’s sleeve and dunked it into the steaming water. “With Harry, is what she’s asking.”

“I know what she’s asking,” Jules retorted before she turned back to me. “And yes--he’ll be there.”

“Is this some kind of intervention?” I joked. “Cause I’ve already been sober for almost a year.”

“No,” Jules shook her head. “But we’re extremely proud of your sobriety. I know things got fucked up, but I want us all to be okay, even if Fonder is over.” She looked over to Niall, waiting for him to add on.

“S’also our first party we’re hosting together,” he leaned over to pat her on the knee, his tone casual when he dropped a metaphorical bomb. “As a couple.”

I had to choke down the tea that I’d just sipped, I set the cup down and blinked a few times. “You guys are dating?!”

“We spent a lot of time together when the band split up,” Jules said, a wriggle of her eyebrows in my direction. “Turns out I’m not that annoying after all.”

Niall rolled his eyes, turned back to see me. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” I smiled. “It’s amazing, I’m really happy for you guys.”

“You are?” Jules asked, her voice smaller now.

“Of course,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Niall shrugged his shoulders, his eyes met mine when he spoke. “Well, I wasn’t exactly the most on board for you and Harry gettin’ together.”

“That was different,” I waved a hand, “and stupid.”

“Was it, though?” Jules’ question was pointed, apparently she still wanted us to be together as much as she had back then.

“Yes, Jules--it was different. It was us being dumb and horny.”

“I think you should come to her birthday party, chat with him.”

I watched Niall for a second. “And why is that?”

Another shrug. “I think it’d be good for you two to reconnect.”

“I’ll come,” I said, “I’m not against coming.”

“But you’re against reconnecting with Harry?” Another prod from Jules.

“I don’t know,” I let out a groan. “It’s been so long! I don’t even know what he’s been doing or who he’s been seeing or--.”

“No one,” Niall said. “He’s seeing no one.”

“Well, whatever,” I ignored him. “Whether or not he’s seeing someone I’ll still come.”

“Right,” Niall smirked, “but him being single is probably a good pull, right?”

“Don’t make this a thing,” I warned, another sip of tea through the smirk that took up residency on my face.

“Every single thing between the two of you has been a thing,” Jules said. “Maybe your souls have met before.”

“Enough with the reincarnation stuff, will you?” Niall looked over to her like she was crazy. I mean, maybe she was, but the look in his eyes was different now: less judgmental, more loving.

She waved him off, her focus back to me when she sighed. “You don’t have more questions about him?” She rested her elbows on the counter, offered a look that told me she didn’t believe my nonchalance.

“None,” I said.

“You don’t even want to know what he’s been asking about ya?”

I let my tongue slide against my teeth, a willful attempt to not take the bait.

“He knows we’re here,” Jules said--again, a casual admission and a curiosity on her end about how I’d react.

“Are you going to call him up and give him a full report as soon as you leave?” I eyed Niall playfully, giggled when he rolled his eyes.

“Probably,” he teased. “Tell him that you seem happier than I’ve ever seen ya.”

“Make sure to allude to the fact that it’s cause he’s finally not in my life,” I cracked.

“Just as mean as ever, though,” he laughed.

I smiled at them, a sense of relief to learn that peace could come after change, after heartbreak, and after hurt. But it was mostly nice to know that even if everything else had changed, Niall’s ability to poke fun at me and Jules’ affinity for cosmic conspiracy theories had remained exactly the same.

So I flew to New York a few weeks later, my hair shorter than the last time I’d been there and the sky a brighter blue. My apartment had been empty for a year--dust had gathered on the counters and the artwork I’d left on the walls felt out of place now.

I’d been in and out a few times, once for a meeting with my lawyer, another time when I flew in to write with Adam Levine. When I pushed the door open and tugged my suitcase inside, the emptiness felt all consuming.

It felt like I was sneaking into someone else’s house--pulling back the curtains in someone else’s bedroom and slipping into the shoes of someone I would never be.

Being back felt weird--different than I expected and somehow more nerve wracking than facing my mother or facing the truth: I was different.

The worst part about it was that the piano faced the same window and the same chairs sat on top of the same carpet. It had been frozen in time, a sad and stark reminder of what used to be.

But I didn’t have time to wallow in self-pity, though--soon enough whisked off to meet up with Jules and Nialls. I was excited to see Miles and Eddie despite feeling like an absolute idiot. Did they blame it all on me? Did any of them recognize how toxic Harry and I had been?

My nerves were palpable, leaving beads of sweat on my forehead when I walked behind Jules and Niall and the security detail that would spend the night by our sides.

A whole year of sobriety, not one drop in 362 days--and tonight was my first time in a bar.

Jules had offered something else: a restaurant, their new apartment, anywhere but a place that’s sole purpose was to get you drunk. But I declined. The Bitter End was the only place that this reunion could happen, and instead of using tequila to calm the thumping in my chest, I was left with breathing techniques I’d learned from a mediation app and my 1-year coin from AA in my pocket.

I had no idea if he’d even show up. I tried to pretend that I wasn’t nauseous all day when they were texting in a group, just like we used to before things exploded. Before I exploded.

So I decided that Harry’s presence tonight wouldn’t make or break me. His presence at all throughout my time in New York wouldn’t break me.

I didn’t want to be the bomb that someone needed to diffuse. I kept watch of the door and acted as if I wasn’t checking my phone for an update, simultaneously hoping he’d show up and hoping that I’d never have to face him.

But when the clock ticked closer to closing time and I stifled another yawn--apparently being sober in bars past midnight just made you exhausted--a feeling of disappointment was left circling in my chest. Maybe he didn’t want to see me. Maybe he just couldn’t do it.

Around 1am I climbed into the back of the car behind Jules, settled into my seat when she drunkenly giggled into Niall’s shoulder. I stared down at my phone screen and opened the group message from Harry.

I’ll try to swing by.

It was the feeling that had hovered inside of me for a long time, knotted in my ribs and tangled in my lungs. The feeling that used to have me reaching for a bottle: Not good enough.

But I noticed it, I knew it now. This was the moment I would have gone home and popped the champagne to let myself fall asleep without the echoing in my head: not good enough, not good enough, not good enough.

It felt good to know I was on the other side, more insight, more awareness and friends from AA to text if it really got dark again. But I looked to the middle seats in front of me, Nialls and Jules laughed between themselves, the streets of Lower Manhattan passed by the tinted windows and somewhere back home my mom was pouring another glass and my dad was ignoring her.

And yet I was okay. Something about time away from the band and time away from alcohol had taught me how to swim, no longer dragged beneath the surface by the uncomfortable emotions that tried to drown me for so long. I could fall asleep without the TV on and I wondered that night where he was, but I stayed afloat.

I hyped myself up the next day to show up to Jules’ party an hour early. I tucked flowers in a vase and rolled my eyes when Niall blasted songs from our first EP over the speakers, can’t believe we thought this shit was good, we sound so young! Jules obsessed over which shade of lipstick she should wear and I just tried to keep my hands busy.

Maybe he wouldn’t show up here, either.

But people spilled in and their roof deck was the perfect spot for a summer birthday party. By dinnertime I pretended that I didn’t hate small talk and made nice with people I hadn’t seen in years. Nice to see you, I’ve been good, yeah still writing. This wasn’t about me--this was for Jules.

He slipped in at some point, blended in with the crowd until I did another scan. My eyes caught his figure, a loosely buttoned shirt and a bracelet around his wrist that glistened in the sun when I stood frozen in place.

Sunglasses shielded his eyes and his hair was longer than before--he moved with ease, after all, he hadn’t disappeared and cost people their jobs.

Ian laughed by my side as if this wasn’t a monumental moment, he joked with Miles and Vince about something unrelated when I blinked a few times, looked around to see if anyone else had noticed his arrival. Okay, the sudden change in the atmosphere was apparently only noticeable to me.

I looked down at the red solo cup in my hand: cranberry juice, seltzer, a splash of lime. I excused myself quickly and weaved through the other people until I could slide the door to the master bedroom shut. The music was muffled on the other side of the wall, laughter from the party bounced against the door and now, I could breathe. In, out, inhale, exhale.

I walked over to the living room, met face to face with the bottles of liquor on the counter. It pulled me in, their labels and fancy names made my cheeks tingle. But instead of walking over and uncapping the tequila like I may have wanted to, I turned left down the hall, found myself in a room where they kept all their instruments.

A piano in the corner, one Niall saved up for our sophomore year after his birthday. I went and looked at the words scribbled on note paper beside it, an old glass of water--did Jules bicker with him like a true girlfriend about leaving his dishes out?

Beside it was a guitar, the one I’d gifted him after we signed the record label, the year we moved out of our first apartment. I plucked a few strings, a melody coming out when I let my fingers fumble through a progression.

Maybe this is how I’d been doing it. The desire to drink was usually quelled with a song, the outpouring of whatever emotion I wanted to run from--just like I’d hurried inside to avoid Harry.

He had the same hold over my heart whether I was drunk or sober, busy or bored. I’d been avoiding the vulnerability that he brought out of me, like the time he let me cut his hair and giggle in his sheets. I didn’t know what it was about him, something I felt I’d never fully capture in a song or in a sentence out loud.

There are things that I sing

that I'd never have the confidence to say

There are things I believe

that I only figure out when I sit down to play

The door creaked, a figure on the other side of the room when I looked up and stopped singing.

“Hi,” he said, his lips in a thin line like he didn’t know if he should smile or frown.

I put the guitar back in its stand and stood up. “Hi--sorry, I was just messing around.”

“Sounded good,” he nodded, a cup in his hand that he sipped from when he broke our gaze. “You can keep going, if you want. What’s it about?”

He took a few steps closer to me, set the solo cup on the piano and then picked up the guitar. He pulled the strap over his shoulder and tuned it a bit, looked up at me when I didn’t reply.

“Just a song,” I shrugged, unsure if the smirk on his face meant anything or if I was just reading too far into the dimple in his cheek.

He plucked what I was playing, easily able to recreate the song when he sat on a stool.

Nervousness in my words when they floated between us. “Shouldn’t we be outside?”

“S’been a minute since we wrote something together,” he shrugged. “Don’t think anyone will mind. Sing it again?”

I sat down, smoothed out the skirt of my dress and cleared my throat. I ran through the verse again, suddenly self conscious to be this real in front of him. This time I went on, eyes closed when it felt like the song had always existed.

The truth don't scare me in a melody,

immortalizing my sincerity

There are things that I sing that

I'd never have the confidence to say

Like that song about my parents that I'll never show 'em

I paused, laughed a little when I didn’t know where to take it. He hummed for a second, knew we were almost at the hook. He filled in the rest like it was easy.

And the ones about my exes that they don't deserve

But when it comes to you, I'm still trying to find the words

“Hey,” Jules’ voice was at the door. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, yeah,” I stood up, Harry let out a laugh at my quick reaction. “Sorry--we were just--”

“Messing around,” he stole my words from earlier, looked up at me when he set the guitar back down.

“I was just coming out,” I said, walking over to Jules.

“Me too,” Harry followed behind me quickly.

“You guys can stay,” she laughed, “you don’t have to come out.”

“S’fine,” Harry said, my words muffled between: “we were done.”

Jules rolled her eyes but headed back for the living room. “Glad you two are reacquainted,” she smiled over her shoulder.

I ignored her comment, Harry got pulled off by an old classmate and I fell into conversation with Eddie when he introduced me to the girl he’d started dating. I pinched his cheek and felt like a proud parent to learn he’d moved on from his crush on me--a true marker that time could heal all.

I ignored the melody that burned in my head, stole glances at Harry and tried to make sense of the encounter we had shared. If nothing else came from tonight, at least I had the start of a new song.

I caught Ian up on the writing I’d done with other artists--he’d been in the loop and even given me a recommendation for a new manager when I moved to LA. But when the sun started to set and people started to get drunker than they’d been, I found myself sitting off to the side, tracing the pink skyline of the city that still felt like home.

Niall kissed Jules on the cheek when she welcomed late arrivals--commotion on the other end of the roof deck--it felt reassuring to know that everyone’s world kept spinning without me at the center.

“We’ll have to finish that one, eventually,” Harry sat down next to me, folded his arms across his chest when he smiled. “Might already have half the hook written up here,” he pointed to his temple.

I shifted down on the patio furniture, careful to keep enough room between us.

“Pretty sure that’s my song,” I eyed him. “And now you’re writing it for me?”

He pushed his lips out in thought. “Could be ours, if you wanted.”

I rolled my eyes, tilted my head to the side. “Still just as annoying as I remembered.”

He smiled at that, quiet for a second when he held my gaze. “S’good to see you.”

I didn’t know how to reply, so I nodded my head. “Ditto.”

“Sorry I couldn’t make it last night, I was working and ended up staying late at the studio.”

I raised my eyebrows at him, looked at the glass in his hand. Clear--ice cubes that swirled around in the summer heat. “Is that vodka?” I changed the topic. “I thought you were a beer guy.”

“It’s water,” he shrugged. “Figured you shouldn’t be the only sober one here tonight.”

I bit at my lip, nodded at the sweet gesture but felt like words were stuck in my throat. “I didn’t know you knew.”

He let out a short laugh, “Jules isn’t great at keeping secrets.”

I shook my head, pretended to be annoyed when I teased: “never had any privacy in that band.”

“Yeah, well--we fucked a lot of things up.”

“We?” I eyed him suspiciously for a moment, certain he meant me.

“I’m the one who couldn’t figure out how to not be a dick to you, so--yeah, we.”

“I think me being a liar and drunk all the time takes the cake, but I appreciate you saying that.”

“I didn’t say you don’t take the cake,” he laughed, knocking his knee against mine. “But I should have done a lot differently.”

I twisted a ring around my finger, pulled for more information. “Like?”

He smirked, rolled his eyes at my nosiness but then let out a sigh. “Fought with you less, called you out on your drinking sooner, not dated Lila,” he trailed off like maybe there was more, but I cut him off.

“I don’t regret you dating Lila.”

“So I’ve heard,” he smiled. “So typical of you to steal my girlfriend.”

“You broke up with her!” I laughed. “We bonded over both going through big break ups. You dumped her, I broke up the band--it was a very healing experience for us to have each other. She’s a good friend, she always will be.”

He laughed, looked out at the sky and shrugged. “Yeah, she just wasn’t for me, I knew it all along,” he teased.

I pulled my head back. “Wait--if you knew that then why did you make me be so fucking nice to her?”

“I needed her to stick around,” he said this with a smirk, a dimple appeared in his cheek when he dropped my gaze and then looked down at his hands.

“Spill it,” I said, angling myself towards him. “You’re not telling me something.”

He let out a sigh, looked over at me and then rubbed at his eyes, almost like he was embarrassed. “I needed her to stick around because I wanted to make you jealous.”

“Make me jealous?! Of her? And being with you?”

He fought off a smile for a second, but when I let out a belly laugh and leaned back, he cracked. “It was stupid--we were in a constant push and pull back then and I didn’t know how to admit it to you that I was hurt when we broke--when we stopped sleeping together.”

I bit at the inside of my cheek, let his words float in the evening air high above the East Village. But then I nodded, voice small when I said: “yeah, it sucked. I’m sorry I made you keep my secret.”

He looked at me, almost surprised by my words, but then he let out a breath. “I’m sorry I held it over your head for so long. And tried to make you jealous.”

I watched a blinking light in the sky, a plane landing at LaGuardia or a star fizzling out. “I guess I deserved it.”

His eyebrows arched at that, a silent request for more information when I shrugged.

“I was basically always buzzed and lying to the most important people in my life. A hot mess would be an understatement.”

He bit back a laugh, nodded quietly. “I get it, though.”

My heart did a somersault, an uncomfortable feeling that lingered when the sky became a hazier orange. “You do?”

He nodded again, more confident this time, like he knew exactly how I felt without the slightest of explanation. “Grief does crazy shit to people. And I don’t think you ever got to heal yours.”

I clenched my jaw inadvertently, his words were true but plucked at something in me so deep and real that I didn’t have the words to reply. Luckily, he knew that.

“We were both different people back then, I think.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “And a lot has changed.”

“Can I admit something?”

“Shoot.”

“My feelings haven’t.”

I looked over at him quickly, Jules’ words perched overhead like mistletoe. Twin flames--a soul connection that typically made me gag. This time, my heartbeat slowed and the anxiety I’d had about running into him seemed to dissipate, I nodded. I knew they hadn’t, I knew mine hadn’t, either. His words weren’t shocking, and when the last three years played over in my head, I wondered what would have happened if someone else had joined the band.

I smiled, an unstable attempt at honesty and vulnerability. “I just wish we could have a fresh start, you know?”

He laughed at this, angled himself towards me when he smiled. “Nice to meet you, I’m Harry. What’s your name?”

I eyed him for a second, trying to decide if I thought his ploy to start fresh was stupid or romantic. I let my hand reach forward to shake his. “Cat,” I nodded, lips twisted into a smile before I could even meet his gaze. “Call me Cat.”

He tugged me closer to him, paused for a second before he let our lips meet. “Cat it is. But I think we have a song to finish.”

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horansqueen · 3 years

Text

New Angel - Chapter 5

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1 ☆ chapter 2 ☆ chapter 3 ☆ chapter 4

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.5k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

☆ you probably noticed that my chapters are shorter, which makes it tough because I feel like I can’t write everything I want to write in one chapter. so ill probably update this soon with the next chapter that will just be the continuity of this one.

NIALL

It took a few days before I received a text message from Summer who was inviting me to the movies. It was not really original but I was happy I'd get to spend some of my time with her. Millie had convinced me to go back to work and I had to admit that keeping my head busy was a nice way to get a break from my heartache. I preferred Summer to keep my mind off Grace but I would use every way possible to get over my heartbreak as soon as possible.

"You're not eating diner with us?" Louis asked, making me look up after playing with my keys.

"Nope!"

"Ah, you're gonna get laid." he just pointed out with a nod, making Millie chuckle near him.

I glanced at her and sent her a small smile before looking back at Louis and sending him a smirk. I wanted to joke and ask him if he was jealous but it would be useless since I knew he pretty much had sex whenever he wanted to. Instead, I just shrugged with an amused smile and raised my eyebrows.

"Hopefully."

"D'you need condoms?" he added to tease me.

"Naa, thanks, we're clearly not the same size."

Louis raised his hand up, showing me his middle finger and I started laughing, taking a few steps back, doing the same to him, my middle finger up in the air. I smiled more when my eyes met Millie's and I shook my head slightly.

"Not you Mills, you know I love you!"

She jokingly blew a kiss at me and I pretended to catch it and push it in my pocket, making her laugh. The only good thing beside Summer that came with the fact that Grace broke my heart was that I was getting close to my friends. I was always quite close to Louis, but this whole thing made me realized that we didn't talk much anymore, and we didn't hang out much either. Now that I was single (or something?), I got to spend time with him and I had missed him. Millie was also a good addition to my life. She was still slightly annoying but the more time i spent with her, the more I liked the side of her that made her say things the way they were. Her bluntness was refreshing. I felt like most of the time, everyone around me tried to be sorry for me, or would tell me what I want to hear. She was not rude, she just told me when I was going too far, or shook me when I needed to be, and I realized that true friendship was not pretending the people around you were perfect, it was helping them move on, grow up, and be a better person. Millie was doing just that with me.

"I guess you're also not going to be there tonight, or when we wake up." Louis added as I shrugged again.

"Hopefully." I repeated, making both my friends smile more.

"Have fun!"

---

The movie was boring but I spent the whole time glancing at Summer who seemed to be focus on the screen. I wanted to wrap my arm around her but I was scared of the message it would send so I decided not to. I also didn't dare kissing her for the same reason, and I took a mental note to ask her about the kind of relationship she was looking for on the same night. I just wanted to make things clear and get rid of that restraint inside me that made me think twice about everything I wanted to do or say.

Near the end, I stared at her as she reached very slowly for the popcorn, groping around to find it, and it made me smile. There was no doubt in my mind that I liked Summer and that I wanted to get to know her, I was just scared she was going to be some sort of rebound and I felt extremely guilty about it.

I don't know how the movie ended but when we walked out of the theater, she sent me a big smile and my heart twisted in my chest.

"So, did you guess that they would end up together?" she asked, making my lips part.

"Uh, no."

"Me neither." Summer admitted, raising her nose up slightly. "I'm not good at guessing these kind of things."

I pushed one of my hands in my pockets and chuckled, feeling slight embarrassed. I brought my free hand to scratch the back of my head and I glanced at her. "The truth is, I didn't really watch the movie. I was focused on you."

Her eyes got bigger with surprise and finally, her lips curled slightly to the left. I liked the way she was looking at me and I also liked how oblivious she was. She didn't see the way I looked at her, and she didn't seem to realize how pretty she was. Somehow, it made her prettier. Perhaps it was only because I was used to date confident girls who knew their worth and it was not a better or worst thing, it was just different.

"You really know how to sweet talk women." she pointed out before letting out a short laughter. "But I like it."

"Seriously. I mean it."

"Okay." she nodded, licking her lip before her eyes got smaller. I felt like she was studying me and I liked it. "Then how about you come over to grab a bite? That way you can spend some more time watching me?"

I let out a louder laugh than intended and finally nodded too. "That's a great idea!"

I drove us to her place when when we walked in, I let my eyes roam around. The apartment was small an decorated with pastel colors. It was clearly not the colors I would have picked but it was clean and welcoming, and it fitted well with Summer's bubbly personality.

"Okay, let's see what leftovers we have..." she said in a soft tone, opening the fridge and bending down to look inside.

I suddenly wondered if she did that on purpose but I just shook my head and closed my eyes for a few seconds. From what I knew of Summer, it was not the kind of things she did, but it reminded me that it was exactly the kind of things Grace would do, and I liked it.

"Pasta good for you?"

I opened my eyes when I heard her voice again and blinked a few times before nodding. "Yea, yea it's perfect."

She handed me a beer before putting the food in the microwave and started it. I took a sip of my drink as she turned around and leaned her butt against the counter. She sent me a small smile but I couldn't help and let my eyes move down on her. The necklace she was wearing was falling gracefully between her breasts until her navel but unlike the dress she was wearing at the club, her outfit on that day was pretty simple: a black pair of jeans and a pink shirt that molded her upper body perfectly. I was pretty sure she looked good no matter what she was wearing and it made me smile. She tilted her head slightly, playing with her hair falling down from her high pony tail down to the middle of her back and licked her lips.

"If you want I can tell you what happened in the movie while you stare at me like that."

I looked up and our eyes met again but when I saw her smile, I mirrored it and walked closer. "I'd rather know more about you."

Her amused smile faltered slowly, changing into a loving one, and she tilted her head just as the microwave beeped. She chuckled a bit and turned around, making a bowl for me and one for her, and we sat down at her table, facing each other.

"Okay, tell me what you want to know." she just proposed before taking a bite.

"Okay... age, last name, siblings?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making her laugh as she chewed.

"You're right, we don't know that much about each other." she admitted with a nod. "We talked at the club but we quickly ended up in your apartment."

I smiled more. "I know you study in fashion and that you used to live with a few friends but that you recently moved here by yourself. I also know that you've only been in two serious relationships, one of them when you were still a teen, and that you've been single for two years. But I have no idea how old you are."

"Glad to know you can stare at me and listen to what I say at the same time!" she joked.

"I'm a multitask guy." I shrugged with a chuckle, making her laugh too.

"I'm 23." she admitted. "I have two older sisters, and my last name is Carpenter."

"Good to know. And apparently, you like romantic movies."

"Don't we all?" she asked with a shrug but chuckling when she saw me raising my eyebrows. "I mean, most of us want to find real love and live happily ever after, right?"

My smile faltered as Grace invaded my head again. I felt a wave of sadness invade me but when I looked up at Summer, I realized she hadn't noticed anything.

"Yeah, I guess it's human nature."

I tried to push my ex girlfriend out of my mind and we kept talking about each other for a while and when she got up to bring her dishes to the dishwasher, I followed her and helped her. She turned my way and looked up in my eyes as I felt my heart jump in my chest at the proximity of our bodies. She smelled exactly the same as she did wat the club. It was that perfume that lasted for 3 days on one of my pillows but I couldn't tell what exactly it smelled like. She started nibbling on her bottom lip while staring at me and I couldn't take my eyes off of her either.

"I want you to know that I normally don't do that."

"Don't do what?" I asked very low.

"Sleep on the first night." she confessed in a whisper. "But you're special, I don't know."

"Is that a good thing?"

Her lips curled and she chuckled, nodding slowly, her eyes never leaving mine. "Mhm, yes."

I was not expecting it but she got on her tiptoes and kissed me gently but firmly. Her lips moved against mine and I tasted her lip-gloss when my tongue ran on bottom lip. It was sticky and it smelled like strawberry, telling me that it was probably her favorite.

"Summer," I murmured between two kisses. "We need to talk."

"I know, but we can do it after."

Her arms wrapped around my neck and I kissed her deeper, pulling her closer. I don't know how we ended up in her room but I knew I went a bit too roughly when I pushed her against the door and she stopped me.

"How about we go on my bed?"

I nodded quickly and grabbed her hand, pulling her gently but quickly with me. I layed on top of her, grinding down against her as she whimpered in my mouth, and I couldn't help but tell myself that it felt even better than the first time. Her shirt and her pants ended on the carpet and I let my lips run down her neck, sliding between her breasts and on her stomach until I reached for her panties. I wanted to taste her, and I could tell how aroused she was just from the way she smelled, but when I pulled her panties down with two of my fingers on the sides, she tensed.

"Niall, please, not today, okay?"

My heart skipped a beat, hoping I didn't ruin the moment, and I moved back up to press my lips on hers. "Okay, anything you want."

"I'll remember that." she joked with a chuckle, making me smile against her mouth.

She grabbed my shirt and moved it over my head before her hands ran in my hair and down my naked back, making me feel the same burning sensation I had felt the first time and when I finally lied down on top of her naked, I realized how similar everything was.

"Summer, baby, you want to ride me?" I asked in a murmur, moving away slightly to look in her eyes.

Her lips parted and she held her breath but after a few seconds, she nodded and licked her lips. I lied down next to her but quickly sat back up, searching for my pants on the floor and grabbing the condom I had brought with me. I could feel guilty for even bringing it as if I expected to have sex with her but my mom always said 'better safe than sorry' and I would have hated myself if I hadn't brought one and didn't have the chance to do that again with her. I lied down on my back and when she straddled me, the sight made my dick twitch and my heart jump. She was hot and watching her move on top of me was definitely going to bring me to an orgasm fast.

I ran my hands on her thighs and when she moved on her knees to sit on my cock, It was my turn to hold my breath while my lips parted. She felt so good around me that I let out a low curse word and blinked a few times, trying to see her better as I became dizzy. She had a small shy smile and I let my hands slid up until her waist just to feel her skin against mine.

"Fuck, you feel amazing."

She started moving over me, riding me gently, and she bent down to kiss me again. I ran my hands on her, wherever I could touch, but she didn't move back her and stayed laying on me. I enjoyed the way her hips were moving against mine and when I felt myself reach an orgasm, I held her waist tighter. I felt her start shaking over me a few seconds after I came and when her body went limp on top of me, I sighed with a smile, running a few of my fingertips on her spine.

"Now, we have to talk." I repeated in a gentle tone, bringing my hand up to move her hair out of her face and press my cheek on the top of her head.

She remained silent for a few seconds but I felt her lips press on my chest and it made me smile. "Mmhm, we can talk now."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #niall horan au #niall horan love story #my fanfics #newangel

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harrytpotter · 4 years

Text

So, I just had this idea and intended this to be a one shot but it turned out bigger and has now became a few-parts story. Sort of. Anyway, English isn’t my mother language so please excuse my grammar! :)

Gif isn’t mine (took it from google, so please, if it belongs to you let me know so I can credit) and suggestions are always welcome.

RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME — Part I

Plot: Y/N finds herself trapped in a time in which she doesn’t belong only to learn that maybe that was her place all along. (Sorry i suck at summarizing things).

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

You’re waken up by the sunshine glowing trough the tower window right into your face. You stretch out but don’t open your eyes just yet, enjoying the warmth spreading all over your body. The feeling was quite nice until you felt a pillow landing with a harsh smash into your face, which forced you to open your eyes. You’re greeted by a redheaded that you had never really seen before, but was sort of familiar to you.

“Can I... help you?” You raise a brow at her, still unable to shake the feeling that you knew her somehow. She definitely did ring a bell, but despite your best efforts to remember someone with her features, you couldn’t succeed.

“Yeah, dumbass! We’re gonna be late for class! Get your butt outta bed right now!” She throws another pillow at you, but this time you dodge it.

“I’m sorry... Do I know you?” You ask her, confused and a little shocked by the level of intimacy you seemed to share with the stranger.

“What did you and that bastard Potter drank last night for Merlin’s sake?” She grimaces.

“Did Harry and I went out for a drink last night? That’s odd, I don’t remember,” you frown.

“Who the bloody hell is this Harry guy now? You went out for drinks with James, Sirius and Remus last night, you mental!” The redheaded looked like you were delusional. You were about to protest when it hit you. James were Sirius’ and Remus’ best friend and also your best friend’s father. Harry’s father.

“Lily?” You ask with a weak voice, your eyes almost tearing up looking into her emerald green eyes, so bright like your best friend’s. “Lily Potter?”

“POTTER?!” She shouts, rather furiously. “You know you‘re supposed to be my best friend, hence you shouldn’t hex me like that, right?!”

You were growing more and more confused each second that went by. “Relax, would ya? I was obviously just bantering!” You say after seeing how exasperatedly she was at your audacity of calling her by the Potter last name.

“That arse put you up to this, didn’t he?! I know he’s your best friend but so am I and I thought I was clear enough when I told you I’m not even slightest interested in him and asked you to stop trying to set me up with that.. that... bugger!” She stormed off the dorm, clearly pissed at you. Something told you that James would suffer the consequences of your oblivious actions somehow.

The door is opened once again and a girl who wasn’t Lily and whom you had no clue to be popped her head into the dorm. “Hey, Y/N! Are you coming? We’re heading to the great hall for breakfast.”

“Sure! I’ll... get dressed. You girls go, I’ll catch up with you all in a minute,” you smile politely at her.

“All right! Nice piece of jewelry, by the way!” She exclaims right before closing the door.

Once you lowered your head and saw something pending down your neck, you realized what she meant. The time-turner Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore had given you when the previous school year had started so you could attend more advanced classes was shining brightly, reflecting the sunlight. That was perfectly normal to you. The problem is that you never wear it to sleep or in public for that matter, keeping it tossed inside your trunk whenever you weren’t using it, hidden even from your best friends. And you were sure you had locked it in your trunk the night before. Suddenly, you remember Dumbledore’s words the day he gave you the device: “If it ever gets you in trouble, come to me. Wherever you are. No matter time or place.”

***

You were almost approaching the stairwell gargoyle that led to the headmaster’s office when you stopped, suddenly remembering you’d be needing the current password, assuming it was bloody different than the one you remembered. About to head on your heels, you’re startled by a clearing of a throat.

“Can I help you with anything, Miss L/N?” The voice of Professor McGonagall waved from behind you.

“Yes, professor! I was wondering if I could get the current password to the headmaster’s office. I need to speak to him, please,” you turn around to face her.

McGonagall raises a brow at you. “Well, the director is expecting you and Potter after the breakfast to talk about your third transgression this week. I suggest you go and eat something first because that will be a very long talk.” Her nostrils were inflated and you knew you were in trouble, whatever the reason was that got you into it.

“No! I... I need to talk to Professor Dumbledore alone! Please! It’s quite urgent,” you beg her.

“Fine. Come with me, Miss,” she says quite reluctantly to you. You could tell she was very disappointed at you but you had no clue why.

The short walk to the stairwell gargoyle was quiet and intense. Professor McGonagall raises her both hands at the statue and shout “Lemon Drop!”

“Obviously Professor Dumbledore would be using this password often over the years,” you murmured at yourself, grinning.

“What was that?” Professor McGonagall asked you, studying your face.

“Nothing, Professor! Thank you very much,” you shout over your shoulder whilst climbing up the stairs.

***

“Come on in!” You hear Professor Dumbledore’s voice after you knocked on the door.

You enter the office, suddenly nervous about talking to him. You knew he was quite clear on his recommendations but you couldn’t help but think he’d probably think you went insane once you claimed to be coming from the future.

“Hello, Miss L/N,” Dumbledore’s voice snapped you from your thoughts.

“Professor... Hi! I...” you mumbled, not sure how to start approaching the topic.

“Let me see it,” he says with a kind smile, showing the palm of his hand.

Awestruck, you take the time-turner from your robe’s pocket and hand it over to him.

“Hmm...” he said whilst examining the device very carefully and closely. “I presume you did lock it into your trunk last night, perhaps?”

“Indeed. Like I’ve done every single day since you and Professor McGonagall gave it to me, sir,” you answer promptly.

“I’ll need to borrow it to take a closer look and see what’s wrong with it,” he shruggs.

“It isn’t broken, is it?” You panic over the thought. “Will I be able to come back to my time? To my friends?”

He offers you a gentle smile. “It looks fine, by all appearances. And yes, you will.”

You stare at him quietly, trying to decide wether or not to ask him what has been disturbing you since you’ve opened your eyes this morning. You were curious about so many things, but Professor Dumbledore was a very busy man and you didn’t want to bother him with your thousand questions.

“Go ahead,” he encourages you, noticing you had something to take off your chest.

“These people... I mean, Lily and James. And some other students I don’t even know the names of. They all seem to know me, even though I’ve never really met them before today.”

Dumbledore smiles again, as if you had asked the right question. “You see, time is a funny thing. And an unpredictable one too. Here, take this and press its side extremities.” He handed you the time-turner back.

Confused, you take it and do as he said. Suddenly, the room starts to spin around and memories hit you at the speed of light. You could see them right in front of you, as if you were reliving the moments. You were sitting inside a compartment at the Hogwarts Express with Lupin, Potter and Black on your first trip ever to Hogwarts. You were shaking each others hands and it was the first time you all had met. The memory faded away. Now you were giggling with Lily and the blonde girl whom you had talked to earlier. Marlene McKinnon. Your best girl friends. Once again, the memory faded. It was night and you and James were sitting at Hagrid’s cabin porch, laughing and looking at the stunningly starry night sky, his invisibility cloak tossed aside on top of the grass. Then, you saw yourself hugging both Sirius and Remus. You remembered everything. Tears began to roll down your face as you felt overwhelmed.

“How... how is that even possible?” You ask Dumbledore with a whisper.

“I’m not quite sure yet but there’s a possibility that you’ve travelled to a different pace of time, Y/N,” he answered as if it was obvious. “This is likely another version of reality as you know it. One in which you were born in a different decade,” he adds, noticing your clueless expression.

You nod slowly at him. “Will I be able to return to where I came from?” You repeat your previous question once again.

“You will, but it could take time. I’ll know more once I’ve taken a closer look at this,” he lifted the time-turner in his hand so you could see it.

“Thank you, Professor. What should I do in the meantime?”

“For now, Miss L/N, you should head to the great hall. I’ve heard the breakfast is delicious this morning,” he smiles at you.

#james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter imagine #harry potter imagine #james potter #harry potter #wizarding world #lily evans #sirius black #remus lupin #right place wrong time #rpwt imagine

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imaginesupply · 3 years

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Homecoming - Chapter Six

(I know it's Henry and not Sy in the photo, but it just fit too well with this chapter.)

Summary: The day has arrived, Captain Syverson is going home. For good, this time. He is going home to a civilian life he can hardly remember and a wife he barely knows, with memories of the war still fresh on his mind. Love might not be able to heal everything on its own, but it’s a good start.

Genres: Romance, drama.

Story warnings: Smut (always fully consensual), mentions of PTSD and nightmares and mental health, angst, hurt and comfort, fluff, mentions of war (minor), mentions of cheating (minor), mentions of pregnancy (very minor), police appearance (very minor), violence (very minor).

Notes:

It’s my first time writing for one of Henry’s characters and I’m unsure I did Sy’s character any justice.

This is a Capt. Syverson x OFC (Ada) story, written in 3rd person POV but OFC’s physical description is very limited so it could also be read as Capt. Syverson x Reader, I think.

English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Proofread, but not beta’ed. We die like men and all that.

Timeline is a little wacky: The movie takes place in 2003 and the U.S. forces were withdrawn from Iraq in 2011, but I never set a precise date because I don’t think it’s essential for this story. However, some elements might not be realistic because if we set this story in 2003: Phone cameras quality was not as good as it’s now, but for the purpose of the chapters, I will need you to imagine you could film great videos with your flip phone haha. Plus, it says Sy is coming back after being deployed for more than three years which makes no sense unless we set this in 2006 or later. I am asking you disregard any time inconsistencies.

Also: I am not American. I only lived in the US for six months and it was in the Midwest, not Texas so please bear with me if I write something stupid.

Finally: This will be a Christmas fic and I intend to post the last chapter (there will be seven in total) on or before Christmas. However, religion is never mentioned in this story and the Christmas-sy elements of this story are limited to family gathering, gift giving and tree decorating.

Chapter Six starts after the cut. (Chapter Five can be found here.) Let me know if you wish to be tagged in the last chapter or if you wish to be removed from the tag list.

I will post a master list soon and put the link in the comments to make it easier to navigate.

Chapter 6

Chapter warnings: Smut, Christmas themes, mentions of therapy, embarrassing moments.

Ada didn't mind being woken up with soft fluttering kisses on her neck. She definitely didn't mind starting the day with the tantalizing rub of his beard on her sensitive skin and the hard press of his torso against her back, their legs entwined and his morning erection nuzzled against her butt.

What she did mind, however, was when any of this happened at the butt crack of dawn. Ada opened her eyes just enough to read 6:50am on the alarm clock.

"Sy," she groaned, stopping his wandering hands with hers, trying to trap them beneath her breasts. "Hold that thought for later, okay?"

She heard him chuckle behind her, his chest vibrating against her body as he freed his hands from her weak grip. "Later is for putting up the Christmas tree and the decorations," he teased, his right hand now drawing circles low on her stomach.

Ada groaned again, wanting to fight his tempting touch but unwilling to move away from his body heat. "I'll get up at 7:30." Those were the last words out of her mouth before she had drifted off again.

When she woke up once more, forty minutes later with the blast of her alarm clock, her back was cold and the smell of breakfast wafted through the air, filling her nostrils. Damn Syverson and his military sleep schedule! She had taken all her days off to spend them with him only to wake up even earlier than when she was working.

With barely open eyes, Ada threw on his shirt that hung on the chair and slowly made her way downstairs, following the scent of pancakes. She found Sy in front of the stove, just finishing up the last one before setting it on the huge pile of pancakes that looked fluffier than clouds. Ada had quickly learnt that while Sy was a disaster when it came to the art of cooking, he was the master of pancakes and barbecue.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he greeted her and then smirked when he noticed her attire.

"Morning captain," she mumbled, walking up to him before patiently waiting until he leant down so that they could share a kiss. It always made him laugh when she did that: the adorable pout on her face when he didn't bend down for a kiss fast enough was worth waiting the extra second every time.

They ate in relative silence, mostly because Ada definitely wasn't a morning person, but the fact that Sy had a habit of stuffing his mouth full of food also played a role. When she was done eating, Ada pushed her plate and glass away, and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs on the chair. She eyed her husband intently, waiting for him to finish eating with a grin on her lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that, darlin'?" Sy asked, eyebrow raised suspiciously before taking the last sip of his morning coffee.

Ada blushed, suddenly looking bashful. "Well… I was hoping we could go back upstairs and continue what you started earlier," she admitted in a tiny voice.

Sy laughed, a booming sound that filled the entire room before a shit-eating grin spread on his lips. "Tough luck, darlin'." He got up from his chair, standing in front of her across the narrow table. "Should have thought about that before falling asleep on me earlier."

Ada's mouth fell open. The cheek on this man! And what made it worse, was his huge smile that made him look like a very amused bear, with his hairy, tempting chest. He was toying with her. "Are you really saying no to sex?" She asked, cocking her brow. Sy wasn't really the type to turn down-

"Yes, no sex." He stated, suddenly looking very serious. "We have to head to the store to buy decorations, then put up the tree and hang the lights outside." Ada tried her best not to laugh. He sounded as if he were explaining a major, life or death, mission to her – not Christmas preparations. "You’re dismissed but I expect you back here in fifteen minutes, dressed and ready to go." With that, he turned around and started gathering the plates and silverware to put them in the dishwasher.

"Yes, sir."

Ada knew better than to talk back. First, when he had something in mind, it was nearly impossible to talk him out of it. Second, she hoped that the sooner they were done with this, the sooner she could get laid. Third, he had used his Captain voice that somehow always managed to make an obedient little soldier out of her.

Though, rationally, she also didn't want to make it any more difficult for him. He had confessed to her a few nights ago why he'd felt so uneasy when they had gone grocery shopping: the gondolas were too tall which led to lots of blind spots and the amount of people meant he couldn't rely on his hearing sense to detect potential danger. 'It just screams ambush,' he told her.

Ada couldn't quite imagine what he must have experienced that a supermarket or a store would translate into danger, but it was not her place to question him. Instead, she had kissed his forehead in bed and offered to start doing their shopping on her own. Sy had promptly refused, suggesting they simply go early in the mornings, when there were less people and less distracting noises.

Now at Target, she was immensely glad she had gotten out of bed, the sight alone was worth it. It wasn't everyday you'd see Sy pick up a bunch of Christmas tree baubles and inspect each one of them carefully before determining which ones were worthy enough to make it to their living room. Ada sneaked a picture for safekeeping and then decided to send it to his mom as well. Family dinner was fast-approaching, and she'd seize all the cookie points she could get.

"Darlin'," Sy called, catching her attention. He was holding up an inflatable Santa who, instead of carrying gifts, dragged a bag full of liquor bottles and sported a drunk grin on his face. It was tacky beyond words. "Do 'you think we should get this, or will it just upset the neighborhood kids?"

Ada grimaced but tried to disguise it with a smile. She’d die before letting that thing on their lawn. “I think a neighborhood dog would tear it to bits within a second," she lied, trying to appear apologetic.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

°°°

The lights were up. It was a much quicker process with Sy's help. It was also the occasion for Ada to just sit back and relax because he was adamant, she shouldn’t step on a ladder to help. Instead, she had a glass of bourbon waiting for him for when he finished. It was 5pm somewhere after all.

"You said we had a tree!" Sy's deep voice reached her from the basement.

Ada threw her head back, sighing, before hurrying downstairs after him. "Yes, it's in that box over there," she pointed at a white cardboard box behind a couple of spare tires.

"Woman, it's tiny!" Sy complained, picking up the box and setting it down between them. It was about as tall as her. It was not that small.

"It's the one I've used every year since I moved in. It's pretty enough and doesn't take up too much space,” she defended.

In front of her, Sy exhaled loudly through his nostrils before rubbing his beard. She knew that move. It's what he did to remind himself she was not a soldier under his command, but his wife, and that he better measure his words unless he wanted to sleep on the sofa.

"Look, darlin'," he said calmly, enclosing her small hands in his much bigger ones. "This is my first Christmas home with my wife. I refuse to put up a minuscule, fake sapling in my home and call it a Christmas tree."

Ada was slightly taken aback. She didn’t know Christmas was this important to him. Though it was true he had been overseas on Christmas the past two years, so she could understand where he was coming from with wanting this Christmas to matter. Besides, it was endearing when he put it like that.

With a nibble on her lip, Ada gave in. "Okay. They're selling trees in that parking lot by the pharmacy."

Sy slowly shook his head, a mischievous look on his face. "No. We're going to get our own pine tree from the woods."

You gotta be kidding me, she groaned internally.

°°°

Ada had no idea where they were. It hadn’t been that long of a ride, but there were no more houses or streets to be seen around them, just endless fields and a forest. It was only when Sy took a right turn, that she started spotting cars and what looked to be a very colorful barn which had been converted into a cozy boutique.

“Where are we?” She asked, staring out of the window as Sy looked for a place to park his truck.

“The Dallagher’s ranch,” he replied. “They do a corn maze and a pumpkin patch in the Fall, and in the Winter, you can pick up your own Christmas tree. My dad used to take Claire and I here every year.”

Oh… This was a family tradition. No wonder Sy made such a big deal about having a real tree for Christmas.

Once out of the car, they walked hand in hand through the dirt road until they reached the makeshift counter made of hay where you could get a handcart before heading out into the man-made pine forest and select a Christmas tree. Most people she saw, however, were already returning the handcarts and happily carrying their trees to their parked cars.

The old man by the cash register seemed to recognize Sy instantly, smiling warmly as he greeted him with a one-armed hug. Ada realized it was the ranch’s owner. “I haven’t seen you in years, Jack!” The old man exclaimed with a laugh before turning to Ada. “And who’s this pretty lady?”

“This is Ada, my wife,” Sy said, introducing them. He watched with amusement as Ada stumbled as the old man hugged her without a warning, taking her by surprise.

“Well, it’s great to meet you, Ada,” the man nodded once he had retreated, and then turned back to Sy. “Should I be offended I wasn’t invited to the wedding?” He teased.

Sy was already wrapping his arm around her shoulders, chuckling. “To be honest, Dallagher, there were no guests at the wedding,” he replied, amused at the way the old man frowned in a confused manner at that piece of information. “Actually, we came here to get a tree.”

“Of course!” Dallagher immediately turned and ordered the young boy in overalls to fetch them a handcart. “What size did you have in mind?”

“Something around seven feet,” Sy said, looking pensive as Ada looked up at him suspiciously, trying to figure out how much seven feet converted to in the metric system. Once she’d done the math, she pulled at Sy’s flannel sleeve to protest – that was way too big, it’d take up the whole living room – but the Dallagher’s grandson was already handing them the cart and leading them to the entrance.

“Trees that big are at the very back of the forest, you’ll have to walk a little.”

This turned out to be quite an understatement. Ada felt like they had been walking for literal years. While they had still come across other people at the beginning, mostly families, they were on their own now – that is if you didn’t count the many squirrels that kept appearing out of nowhere.

She stopped, grabbing the back of Sy’s red tartan shirt so he would be forced to pause as well. “Can’t we just take one of these?” Ads suggested, gesturing at the countless trees all around them. They were all pretty enough and considerably taller than her.

Sy huffed, biting his lip in amusement as he looked at her dispirited face. He’d told her she should probably get changed and wear more comfortable shoes before they left home, but she had insisted she wasn’t going to change clothes just to get a goddamn tree. “These are only around six feet, darlin’. And,” he paused, eyeing the trees more closely, “they’re not Nordmann firs. I want a Nordmann.”

Ada sighed defeatedly, but nodded all the same, starting to walk again when Sy took pity on her. “Do you want to sit on the handcart?”

The change on his wife’s face was instant, the frown lifting into a smile as she climbed on the cart and sat down in the middle, evening out her weight for him. “Is that better, darlin?” He asked teasingly.

She turned her head back just to make sure he saw her rolling her eyes.

By the time they reached an area with Nordmann trees that Sy considered nice and big enough, her butt was sore from the conjunction of the hard, wooden surface and the uneven ground. She wasn’t even sure she had made the better call or whether it would have been better to suffer in her new ankle boots instead.

“Which one is better?” Sy asked, pointing at two pine trees that looked virtually identical to her.

Ada shrugged, almost saying that he should choose before realizing how much time that would take. The man wasn’t picky about food, bedlinen or even the pillow he slept with, but apparently, he had to make sure he brought home the most perfect tree. She still couldn’t wrap her head around that. “The left one,” she said finally.

“Which one? Your left or my left?”

Breathing in deeply, she decided to just point at the tree she was talking about. Sy nodded thoughtfully and grabbed the saw he had brought with him and started to work on the tree. While she had been most eager to get this whole thing over with, it became an entirely different story now as she dreamily stared at her husband getting to work.

With most of his back facing her and one knee on the forest’s soft ground as he started sawing off the Nordmann fin, Sy looked absolutely delicious. The red flannel shirt unbuttoned over his white t-shirt and the jeans made him perfect sight with anyone with a lumberjack fantasy. Ada had never considered herself as having such a kink. A uniformed soldier, or even better, a captain? Hell yes. A strong, rugged husband capable of her breaking her in half? Also a big yes. A lumberjack? The thought had never crossed her mind in the past but there was no point in denying it now as she sat back on the wooden cart, watching Sy carefully saw down the giant tree.

She was wet. Horny. Aroused. You name it. It also didn’t help that they hadn’t had sex that day. Yet.

"Sy," she whined, just loud enough to get his attention, while swinging her legs in the air like a child.

"I'm almost done, darlin'," Sy responded, not bothering to turn around to look at her. "I want a nice, clean cut."

Yeah, and she want a nice, dirty fuck. Pouting, she watched him for a couple more seconds as he knelt in front of the base of the tree, deciding from which side he should bring the saw to the trunk next in order to make it even.

That was when Ada decided she was tired of waiting. Shuffling quietly, she slipped off her wet panties from under her dress and rolled them into a small ball before throwing it at her husband. It hit his left shoulder and rolled down his chest. Grinning wickedly, she leaned back on her shoulders and enjoyed the view, the muscles on his back shifting as he picked up the garment off the ground. If this didn't get her laid, nothing else would.

"Ada Metz Syverson," Sy groaned out her full name slowly, his voice even deeper than usual. He got back up on his feet and turned to face her, looking stern.

Suddenly she didn't feel so brave anymore, not when he had crossed the distance to her in two determined strides and went to tower over her small, sitting frame. His jaw was set, and his eyes were a darker shade of blue than usual. Ada moved her eyes down his body, her eyes pausing at the defined pectorals on his chest before sliding lower. He was definitely hard, the bulge on his jeans prominent.

"Just remember you asked for this."

She wanted to ask what this was supposed to be, but he didn’t give her the chance. “Legs,” he ordered, patting his shoulder as he came to stand just inches away from her. Almost unconsciously, she obeyed his order, her ankles coming to rest on the front of his shoulders, her feet framing his neck. “That’s a good girl,” he praised her with a quick kiss to her right calf before his large hands moved to the front of his jeans, just over the protruding tent and began undoing the belt and snap.

From this angle, Sy’s cock looked even bigger, the shiny glans flushed a deep pink. Ada swallowed tightly, her legs already shaking with anticipation and he hadn’t even touched her yet. Pumping his shaft with his right hand, Sy brought his left one to her core, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb over clit once or twice before sliding it between her folds. She was a dripping mess. Sy smirked when she keened eagerly at his touch, enjoying his ministrations until he pulled his hand away and brought it to his mouth, licking off her slick. “It’s good you’re so wet already because I just can’t wait to take you, darlin’.”

He wasn’t lying when he said he couldn’t wait. The next thing he did, was grabbing hold of his throbbing, hard cock and guiding himself into her. Ada moaned loudly at the intrusion, drowning out Sy’s own growl as her walls clenched around his cock, trying to get used to the abruptness and depth of the penetration.

“Fuck, Sy!” She cried out, not even sure what it was she wanted. “Don’t stop,” was all she could muster as he ploughed into her like there was no tomorrow, hitting her pleasure all at once.

He knew they were being too loud. They might be alone, but they were still out in the open air, and yet he just couldn’t find it in himself to care – not when she felt this good around his cock and her noises only heightened his fervor. If someone happened to stumble upon them, then they’d simply be in for a premium show,

It wasn’t long until her legs started shaking almost uncontrollably up in the air, prompting him to remove one hand from his steely grip on her hip and wrap his arms around her legs to keep them steady as he continued with jackhammer thrusts. “Are you going to cum for me, darlin’?” Sy panted, groaning out the question between clenched teeth even though he already knew the answer.

Ada didn’t manage to reply, the first waves of her orgasm already coursing through her when she moaned his name. Her hips canted up, her body tensed up like a bolt, and Sy knew he was done for right then. Her warm walls squeezed him impossibly tight inside of her, milking the cum right out of his cock while he fought to keep his balance as pleasure overtook him.

They came down from their heights slowly, chests heaving. Sy lazily removed her legs from his shoulders, massaging the strained muscles on her inner thighs before he set her legs down. This woman would be the end of him. “That was…” he panted, bending forward over her body to kiss her forehead, unable to find a proper adjective to describe what had just happened.

“Yeah,” Ada breathed out, nodding slowly.

Sy ended up having to carry her and the tree on the cart back to his truck because there was no way she was able to walk straight after that.

°°°

They finished decorating the giant tree. Ada had to admit it looked pretty although the red and gold decorations clashed with the color theme of their living room. She handed Sy the newly purchased baubles one by one – he was the only one capable of reaching the top.

On their way back home, she had somehow managed to convince Sy to stop at the therapist’s office – the one she had found had the highest ratings on Google. They had booked the first available appointment, which was just after the New Year and Sy had made it very clear to their secretary it was just a ‘testing appointment’ and that there was no need to set aside time slots for follow-up sessions yet because there was no guarantee he’d be back. His reluctance was palpable, but Ada was glad he was giving it a try at least. And if he didn’t like, then they’d figure out something else.

In the background, their wedding video kept playing and she wondered for how much longer she'd have to hear the sound of camera flashes as the chapel assistant took way too many photos of them in the most cliché poses you could imagine. Sy has insisted they put on their wedding video since they’d never gotten around to watch it and it fit the season, according to him. Slowly, the annoying sounds began fading away and Ada sighed with relief. Watching herself on TV sparked too much embarrassment in her.

"Hand me the big one with Rudolph, will you, darlin'," Sy asked from behind her, still meticulously decorating the tree.

Ada nodded, searching for the bauble he had in mind. It was still in the shopping bag, she remembered, lifting it off the floor to dig inside it.

Ada froze as a female chuckle was heard, unconsciously gripping the glass ornament too tightly in her hand. "Not that fast, Captain."

Behind her, Sy frowned. "What did you say?"

"Tonight, I'm in charge," she heard her own voice say - no, it was more like a purr.

"Shit!" Ada cursed loudly, letting the bauble fall back inside the bag and she hurried to the TV, her worst fear confirmed.

Sy followed her quickly, stopping just behind her, his hands on her shoulders. "Is that from our wedding night?" He asked slowly, his eyes locked on the screen as he watched his younger self being tied up to the bedposts by his wife.

"Yes," Ada cringed, her face a painful grimace. "I didn't even remember the sex tape."

"Me neither," Sy swallowed loudly, admittedly rapidly becoming aroused at the sight of his Ada doing a striptease on camera. She wore that red ensemble with the garter belt.

"I think the assistant never really ended the video after our wedding, only paused it and we later continued filming in the hotel instead of starting a new video," Ada commented, now understanding what had happened. How they’d even came up with the idea of filming a sex tape on their wedding night, she didn't know. Alcohol had probably played a part in it.

Sy was still staring in awe at the TV, enthralled by the sight of his wife deviously edging him, her hips swaying slowly, when her words slowly registered in his head. "Didn't we send copies of the video to our families?" He stammered, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant.

Silence fell between them as they both realized they had been dumb enough to send copies before watching it themselves. "Fuck!" Ada barked, seizing the remote to pause the video. "We sent that to my parents, your parents, your sister...," she listed, her face losing all color.

Suddenly, the sound of Sy's deep laughter filled her ears. She turned to him, aghast. How could he find this funny? This was peak cringe! She’d be one needing therapy after this!

"You know, darlin', watching this video was the first time my parents ever saw their daughter-in-law, before even meeting you in person." Sy explained, shaking his head with amusement.

Ada was mortified. No wonder Mr. Syverson had seemed on the verge of laughter the first time they'd met and Helen had given her the side eye. The woman had a USB stick in her home with an hour-long video of Ada fucking her son. "You know, Sy, this wedding video is also the first thing my parents saw of you." He stopped laughing abruptly, his face red, all amusement gone.

They both sat down on the couch next to each other, slowly coming to terms with the fact that pretty much their whole families had seen this, and never said anything, probably keeping it as an inside joke.

Sy broke the silence, his large hand reaching to rub her naked thigh. "You know, I don't think we should be embarrassed," he said, prompting her to stare back up at him, eyebrow raised dubiously. "The way you tied up my arms really enhanced my biceps and you looked adorably hot like a vicious kitten from hell."

°°°

@colourmeinblue @hail-horror-queen @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @kmuir1 @madbaddic7ed @coffeebreathy @purplelove75 @summersong69 @helenaellie @rn7rocks

#henry cavill smut #syverson smut #henry cavill x reader #syverson x reader #henry cavill x ofc #syverson x ofc

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mayonnaisetoffees · 3 years

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Mayo's Fic Recs

List of my favourite fics below the cut; this list is a WIP and completely personal taste; a mix of fandom classics and lesser knowns

Please remember to leave comments and kudos for the authors and podficcers!

*shows particular favourites

Fandoms currently included: Spn, Merlin, Les Mis, BatFam

Fics That Changed Me Fundamentally

Loaded March*** by Footloose. Merlin | E | 1.26M(Series)/ 35k (First part) | 188k hits (First part)

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can’t keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn’t good enough, either. Except he is.

You can read all about my thoughts on Loaded March here, here, and here. Basically this fic series is beautifully written, has absolutely delicious UST, has found family, magic, and high stakes. It’s been part of my life for almost a decade now, I made friends through LM that I still have to this day, and it genuinely changed me as a person. Plus there are 78k of Extras to itch that I Finished Now What scratch. Parts 1-5 have been podficced and you can find them in works inspired by this one in each part.

Down to Agincourt*** by Seperis. Supernatural | E | 1.12M(Series)/ 154k (First part) | 73k hits (First part)

The world’s already over and they’re already dead. All they’re doing now is marking time until the end.

S7!Dean is transported back to the aftermath of where 5x04 The End left off. Much like LM, DtA was one that I avoided for a while. I didn’t think it would be my thing. I’m not usually into End!verse, it sounded so bleak from the summary, and it sounded so long for something I wasn’t sure about. If you’re reading this and nodding along? You are as much a fool as I was. Yes, it’s the end of the world. But it’s not over yet. This is a beautiful journey in what it means to be yourself, how to survive the end of the world, a How-To for Coups, and a study in food as a love language. I only read this fic this year, but like LM, it has genuinely changed me. Map of the World has been podficced.

Supernatural

Let’s start with the current hyperfixation. All of these are at least passively Dean/Cas unless otherwise stated. I've split into ones from my first time around in the SPN fandom and more recent ones because the vibes are actually really different and it took me some time to adjust (Not in a bad way! In a time has passed they have grown as characters way)

Old-School SPN (AKA the Classics my first time around)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Home in Motion* by nomdeplume13 M | 232k | 48k hits

Castiel swore he was done with spur of the moment decisions that permanently changed Dean Winchester's life. A year after the angel's most disastrous, his newest may present the largest challenge of dean's life: Fatherhood.

Did someone say kid!fic in canonverse? This is perfect. Canon divergence from the end of S6. Cas saves a baby from a neglectful mother and gives him to Dean to raise. They all move in with Bobby. Great OCs. Bobby considers Cas his son. Listen everything I say here will not be able to begin to encompass how much I love this fic. Just trust me on this one.

Named* by RC_McLachlan M | 95k | 95k hits

Jesus Christ is dead. Somehow, that isn't the worst part of Dean's week.

With a summary like that, need I say more? No but I'm gonna. This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read, but it doesn't take any emotion from the serious moments, if anything it heightens them. There are so many quotes from this I think about all the time. It was written in 2010 and so there's a bit of misogyny/character assassination of Anna in places.

Second Childhood by CloudyJenn (read by exmanhater) G | 16k (1h30) | 10k hits

"Dude, I can't do this whole thing by myself," Dean said with far more desperation leaking into his tone than he liked. It would just be too much to make it through hell and death and Lucifer only to have Castiel bail on him because of a frigging baby.

They beat the Apocalypse (OG-S5) and then Sam gets de-aged by a spell. I've listened to this so many times I know it by heart, it's an ultimate comfort fic to me.

Defy Any and All Expectation* by Tenoko1 (read by Tenoko1) M | 138k (14hrs) | 37k hits

Chuck's newly released books tell of another war between Heaven and Hell. Team Free Will sets out to try to defy prophecy, only to realize there is a lot more at stake and amiss than the not-quite-accurate words of one Prophet of the Lord. Along the way, Dean and Cas' relationship continues to evolve into something neither expected or were prepared for, all of their lives transforming in ways no one could have expected. But with no shortage of cases, monsters, and mayhem, it's going to require the help of new friends and old enemies if they're to have a hope of saving the world one more time. Alternate Season Six.

So this is a re-written version of Tenoko1's The Path We Choose which I don't think is around anymore. By the time I was reading the re-write as each chapter came out, I knew every single line of TPWC and it wasn't all that much shorter. It's such a perfect canon divergence because they are all 100% in-character. If you're into podfic, you already know what an absolute gift 14 hours is, but if you have never tried podfic before, Tenoko1 is a fantastic place to start. Her voice is soothing and energetic and her Cas sometimes comes to mind when I'm reading fic in Misha's place (sorry Misha)

His Fucking Kids 'Verse by 8sword M | 96k(Series)/ 3k (first part) | 26k hits (first part)

Jesus, the school should just have a parking spot labeled, “Reserved for the Novak-Winchesters,” because Dean’s getting sick of having to cruise around the parking lot looking for a spot every time he gets a call from the principal about Emma.

Emma survives and Dean and Cas are raising her and Claire. This fic series will make you laugh, make you cry, and (nowadays) make you wish Emma had survived to be a part of Wayward Sisters.

One Species Too Many by wallmakerrelict E | 22k | 37k hits

While Dean is laid up for a month after breaking his leg on a hunt, Cas decides that it's a perfect time to adopt a litter of kittens. But even though he's gotten better since Purgatory, Cas still isn't quite the same as he was before fixing Sam's head, and being trapped in a cabin with him for weeks on end is making that all the more obvious to Dean. When Sam takes off on a hunt, Dean has to figure out on his own how to navigate his new relationship with Cas while also helping to raise a bunch of fuzzballs that aren't even cute. Not even a little bit. (Well, maybe a little bit.)

Dean breaks his legs, and honey!Cas brings home some kittens to foster. It's achingly sweet and also painful because you know Dean wants to fix Cas but there's nothing to fix. It is tagged for ableism for this.

Tripping* by Hatteress E | 49k | 78k hits

That time the universe decided Dean belonged with Cas and wasn't afraid to pull out the big guns to make it so. Big guns in this case being obsessive fangirls, archangels turned tricksters and overly enthusiastic cupids. Welcome to Dean's life.

Alt!S5 and it is beautiful. Also any fic with Missouri is an automatic win.

Broadway Musical by Grifitings M | 12k | 79k hits

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle. The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at. Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

Jimmy deserves a sainthood and frankly I don't even want to hear about crack if it's not on the level of the Host yelling at Cas not to touch the butt.

Classic AUs (AKA AUs from my first time around)

Try Something Tuesday by almaasi E | 48k | 144k hits

Dean Winchester teaches a third-grade class. He's new to this whole ‘bisexual’ thing - but by pure happenstance, he meets Castiel: a particularly dapper male librarian who moonlights as a substitute teacher. Dean's curious and Castiel is willing, so why the hell not? Except, fate never intended it to be one-time-only...

This was one of the first spn fics to really really stay with me and it never really left.

Rock 'n' Roll Queer Bar by ChasingRabbits E | 127k(Series)/ 8k (Part1) | 29k hits (Part1)

Ellen and Jo Harvelle run Harvelle's Roadhouse, a bar that unintentionally becomes a beacon for wayward queer souls. Her employees: Dean, the smartass runaway with a big heart and bigger mouth; Castiel, the college drop-out turned hippie; his (surprisingly heterosexual) trouble-making brother Gabriel; and Charlie, who has been told several times that the back room is not to be used for after-hours Dungeons & Dragons games. But there's a lot of love in this place, and a new family for anyone who may otherwise be without.

This series. If you've ever felt unsure or out of place or anxious or just really felt like no-one understood you, this fic is for you. I first found this series when I was coming to terms with my queerness and I genuinely think it was invaluable. Also I am a sucker for the go for a dinner at Cas's family and end up storming out trope.

Play It All Night Long by janie_tangerine (read by Tenoko1) NC17 | 43k (4hrs)

The rom-com-ish one where Dean hosts a late night radio show, Castiel is a regular listener of his who starts calling one day and ends up calling more often than not and Dean finds himself liking it. This, until one day Castiel calls for not exactly petty reasons (just before Dean's brother Sam is visiting with his girlfriend for spring break) and things get very, very crowdy at his place. He also doesn't know it's just the beginning of it. Also features Gabriel, Chuck, Andy, the Roadhouse crew and a huge amount of music quoted. Especially Bob Dylan.

Again, this podfic has got me through many a night of insomnia. Cas calls in after a particularly shitty day and it all goes from there.

New-School SPN (AKA post-2014)

Canon-Compliant or Divergent

Tall Grass by aeli_kindara E | 57k | 28k hits

“I think we should have a garden,” Cas says. Dean looks up from his beer. He hasn’t had that much to drink, but Cas still has a vague look of unreality about him, a splash of living color that doesn’t fit in the bunker’s echoing stillness. Dean didn’t hear him coming. A lot of the time, Cas is so unobtrusive it feels like Dean has the bunker to himself, with Sam away. Dean shakes his head to clear it. “A — garden?” he repeats.

There is a reason you will see this recced time and time again. It healed parts of me I didn't know needed healing.

So Says the Sword* by komodobits E | 85k | 73k hits

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’ Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected

I saw ssts mentioned in like every single If you're getting back into the fandom READ THIS rec list. For good reason. It's described as "canon-adjacent in that seasons one to three happened exactly the same, but when Dean goes to Hell, he is not raised by Castiel". It's one of the most interesting concepts I've read and it's one of those fics where the writing style will stick with you. Castiel POV in a way you've never read before.

Aching in the Absence of You* by sobsicles E | 95k | 9k hits (in 5 days)

Brittle and battle-worn, Cas looks at him over coffee one morning and says, "I need to go," and Dean instantly knows that he's not coming back. He's not really sure how he knows it, but he does. It settles into the pit of his stomach, curling hot and tight like something he instinctively wants to tear out with his bare hands. He takes a breath, and it gets stuck in his throat, hitching there. It hurts, hurts, hurts when he finally exhales. "Yeah," Dean says, "of course you do," and he nods jerkily as he looks down at his phone. He doesn't say goodbye. He doesn't look up from the screen when Cas gets up and leaves the room. He doesn't finish his coffee, or move for a long time. By nightfall, Cas is gone.

If you don't already know sobsicles, I am delighted to introduce you to the person who will smash you to pieces with a hammer to put you back together Kintsugi-style. This one is post-finale but without 15x18 (it'll make sense as it goes). Cas says he's going to leave again and again Dean doesn't ask him to stay. Full of lines so beautiful they'd make Shakespeare weep, Sobsicles has this way of writing that is so evocative and paints such a clear picture. Fair warning, if you're Dean-coded, this might be A Lot.

dumbassery, denial, doing (the three d's to the destination)** by sobsicles E | 108k | 25k hits

Freedom is just one adjustment after the next. ~~~ Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want." "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before." "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out." "Easier said than done."

Yes, two sobsicles recs back to back. This one I read first and it still holds such a special place in my heart. A sign of a good fic is being able to picture it perfectly. The sign of an amazing fic is that when reading this I was so in Dean's shoes I could feel a pool cue between my hands and Baby behind my back. And I sobbed like a baby in this. It has probably my favourite ending ever. It's genuinely beautiful. If you don't read another on this list, read this one.

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara M | 52k | 14k hits

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean. (A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

The ultimate Cas character study and interwoven with poetry.

So There It Is, I've Said It All by PorcupineGirl (read by Ceewelsh) G | 4k | 13k hits

"Why, do you have something you need to say to me that you don't think I'll like?" I think I'm in love with you. "Yeah. I guess so."

Dean figures out he's in love with Cas then can't stop thinking it. This is genuinely beautiful and if you've ever had trouble actually saying the thing you're thinking, you'll relate to Dean here. I recently did the podfic for this.

you won't find this place alone by amidsizedfrog G | 9.5k |

When Claire said she was dropping out of college to pursue hunting full time, Dean said, “right,” and left the room. Or, the cross-generation conversation about formal education, choosing your own path and figuring out what it looks like to find a family. Or, in other words: "But what I do have is a GED and a give-'em-hell-attitude, and I'll figure it out." - Dean Winchester

This is a beautiful look at education in the hunter world, and I love anything that looks at Dean and Bobby's relationship and this does it perfectly. Also best cameo ever.

Seek to Know You Better by ahurston E | 33k | 23k hits

Dean and Cas, a long stretch of highway, and 36 questions empirically designed to make two people fall in love. As if they weren't already.

This is perfect. It has a lovely slow pace like it has the vibes of an indie film if that makes sense? Like it's two guys going from place to place talking. It was an instant favourite.

Newer AUs (AKA more recent AUs)

And This, Your Living Kiss* by opal_bullets M | 57k | 69k hits

Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen.

When I asked which fics were absolute must-reads for someone who'd been out of the fandom a few years, this was said repeatedly. But what really got me to read it was everyone actually told me more about what it meant to them than just the summary. It's a study in poetry, a study in learning who you are and who you used to be, and a reminder that it's never too late.

The Graveyard Shift* by riseofthefallenone, PurgatoryJar E | 620k | 175k hits

Dean’s favourite coffee shop, The Graveyard Shift, is only open after the sun goes down. Which is perfect for him, because that’s exactly when he craves coffee the most while doing the overnight at the fire hall. The coffee shop’s owner is pretty perfect too, but it’s kind of a bummer that Dean never gets to see Cas during the day. In a world where the supernatural live more or less in peace with the rest of humanity, it’s a little impolite to ask Cas just what he really is - or what his dark past entails.

A fantastic magical realism fic - magical creatures live and work with humans. Gabe and Cas run a coffee shop, Dean is a fireman, and the burn is slow and delicious and the intrigue kept me reading for like a week every single spare minute.

Painted Angels by WinJennster E | 106k | 162k hits

Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. He's put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesn't go like Cas hoped. Dean's a broken man, with a lot of scars and secrets, shoulders weighed down by his demons and self loathing. Cas sees a second chance with the man he's never stopped loving, but Dean's moved on, and is about to get married. Sam launches a "brilliant" plan to reunite his brother and his best friend, but Cas is worried it will all blow up in their faces, and he'll go through the agony of losing Dean a second time.

The first part of this I actually saved back when I was first in the fandom but I never got around to reading it (I had a To Read folder of 100+ fics that I absolutely dove into when I got back into spn) and the rest of the series finished in 2016 so I'm counting it in this section not the other. On the one hand, I wish I'd read this when it first came out. It's beautiful and heartbreaking, and so visual. On the other hand, I think I appreciated it a lot more now than I would have seven years ago. The parallel of me coming back to the old fandom that I loved dearly with Cas coming back to see someone and places he loved so much really hit. (Although coming back to the spn fandom was much easier and much less heartbreak!)

Finale Fix-Its (yeah fuck you Dabb that this has to be a whole category)

The Goldenrod Revisions by aethylas M | 66k | 15k hits

A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.

Script format re-write of 15x19 and 15x20 into a 5-episode finale fix-it. As far as I'm concerned, this and chocolatecakecas's American Pie fanvid are the Supernatural finale.

break the skin (to break the barriers)* by sobsicles M | 30k | 9k hits

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment. ~~~ Dean is silent for a long, tense moment, then he gruffly says, "It's not for banishing the angels. It's to summon them. So, it doesn't—it's not to get rid of 'em, but to draw 'em in." Mitzi can't help but glance up at him at that. His voice is so heavy with so much unexplained pain, and she doesn't understand why, or what angels have to do with it. She knows religion can impact people. She's very aware that it can get complicated, and that it can be a huge source of pain for someone, but Dean sounds grievously wronged, somehow, as if it's a truly personal thing. She pushes through, focusing back on her job, clearing her throat before murmuring, "Well, I guess we all want angels to visit us sometimes." "Just the one," Dean mumbles. "Your guardian angel?" Mitzi asks. Dean breathes out, "Something like that. As close to one as an angel will ever get."

Therapy through getting tattoos and telling your life story to someone who obviously doesn't think it's real. Outsider!POV not just done well, but done literally the best.

Kingdom Come by ahurston E | 17k | 10k hits

Cas wakes up on the coast of Maine. He makes his way home.

I don't know if this counts as finale fix-it as it's more fuck the finale we're ignoring that. There's just so much love and care in this fic.

The Family Business by chai_lattes M | 16k | 5.5k hits

It's all over. It's been weeks since Chuck's defeat and Cas' return from the Empty. There are no threats on the horizon, no apocalypses to stop, but there's something that keeps the Winchesters from being happy. Something that's maybe always been there. On their way back from a hunt, they find John Winchester, back from the dead.

If you're anything like me, you start rubbing your grubby little hands together at the tag John Winchester's A+ Parenting like yes let's address this! This is one of the best examples of John coming back and how it jars with the life that they have built. Also Claire and Jack getting to share screentime!

Merlin

If I have a forever fandom, it's Merlin. I've always kept one foot in this fandom, and it introduced me to fandom, and most importantly to podfic which kinda had an impact. All Merthur unless stated.

Canon-Verse

Seven Magpies by syllic (read by lunchee) E | 33k (3hr15) | 58k hits

Arthur opened his eyes a minute later to the sight of seven magpies streaking across the top of the clearing, their shapes dark against the white clouds and the muted grey of the sky. He tried to remember what it was that seven magpies meant—he'd had a nurse who had sung the rhyme to him as a child—but couldn't. Arthur wakes up somewhere he doesn't recognise, but where he clearly belongs.

Okay so this is an AU but it's Canon-AU so it's going here. Fantastic role reversal fic that you will be thinking about for weeks.

and from your grace, i fell by TheDragon (read by Ceewelsh) T | 4.6k (41mins) | 13k hits

“Where’s Merlin?” he asks the maid. “Where’s that idiot of a Court Sorcerer?!” “Begging your pardon, Your Majesty. I thought you knew,” the maid replies, not daring to look him in the eyes. “He’s taken ill.” “And he couldn’t be bothered to tell me himself that he would be unable to attend today’s council meeting?” Arthur questions, voice full of acid. “He hasn’t woken since he collapsed two days ago, Sire,” the maidservant says, blissfully unaware that what she’s saying the power to stop Arthur’s heart in its tracks.

When I first read this, it had me completely transfixed. I could not stop reading. It was so raw and so full of emotion. I was then lucky enough to get TheDragon in our exchange, so I did a podfic for it and it's probably the most proud I've been of one.

Modern AU

The Student Prince* by FayJay (read by FayJay) M | 145k (15hrs) | 696k hits

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

A classic is a classic for a reason. I'm also pretty sure this introduced me to podfics so like special place in my heart x2. Did you know if you filter AO3 by hits on Merlin, this has 426k more hits than the second result? Now that is a Fandom Classic.

Drastically Redefining Protocol* by rageprufrock (read by lunchee) E | 46k (5hr30) | 269k hits

In which Prince Arthur meets Merlin and all hell promptly breaks loose.

As I always say, if this can happen to me and I still love the fic, nothing is going to change that. Arthur hides from his duties in a cupboard and gets stuck in there with a chainsmoking med student.

Fundamental Imperfections by Starlingthefool (read by bravenclawsome) M | 12k (1hr35) | 123k hits

In which an argument about Dickens leads to a Twitter scandal, broken bones, midnight conversations, and transatlantic longing. (Or, an AU with Arthur and Merlin as moderately famous authors.)

This fic has everything: Charles Dickens, long distance texting, Morgana choking a Sherlock cosplayer with his own scarf. This is the ultimate comfort fic and I compare all fics to this even when they're incomparable. I never read the sequel because it was WIP and I was waiting for it to complete, it hasn't been updated since 2015 and apparently ends on an unhappy note, so if you're going to read the sequel you have been warned.

Les Mis

Modern!AU

Overzealous Oddities by YassHomo e/R, Courf/Cosette/Marius, Comb/Ép | G | 6.4k | 4k hits

Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it? Enjolras: No. Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

I love me a text fic and this is in my opinion the best one around. Just look at that summary. I have quoted that so many times.

But Paris was a very old city and we were young* by GingerNinjaAbi E/R, Courf/Jehan | M | 99k | 42k hits

Perhaps somewhere in between all the cups of coffee, shots of tequila, sunny March days, terrible lumpy jumpers, love, cigarettes, drunken nights and the desire to change the world they'll all leave Paris with a degree in something. Or not. Grantaire's money is on no. But he's a pessimist who's hopelessly in love, so perhaps his opinion shouldn't count.

The ULTIMATE modern!AU tbh.

Tagged by Salomonderiel E/R, Courf/Jehan | E | 155k | 28k hits

So there's this artist. He could probably be compared to Banksy, but he's a lot more... cynical. He shares rooms with a poet who braids his hair with flowers, in a flat near Covent Garden they rent from a short-tempered shop keeper with a penchant for fans and who'd do anything if you mentioned Poland. Sometimes, the three of them will go and deface public buildings in London whilst completely smashed off their heads. And then there's this, shall we say, 'revolutionary'. He has a band of other revolutionaries, who all meet at this cafe by Borough Market. He shares rooms with his best mate, a philosophy student, spends too much time with a flirty guy who has a thing for poets, goes boxing with a guy in a red vest, wants to punch the wet sop who drools on the blonde waitress and is getting tired of this guy who keep breaking his laptops through sheer dumb luck. Thank god the hypochondriac's there to keep an (slightly too) attentive eye on their stress levels. The revolutionary thinks the graffiti artist's work is a waste of space. The artist thinks the revolutionary's campaigns are a waste of time. And all the while, the poet and the flirt drool over each other in the background...

This is perfect and it's funny and it's beautiful and it rips my heart out multiple times.

Canon

To Be Free by kjack89 (read by Ceewelsh) Gen, Cosette/Marius | T | 3.8k (32mins) | 375 hits

Three blows from a bayonet had transfixed Combeferre’s breast, followed by a fall from the barricade as he rapidly lost first blood and then consciousness. But neither of these, it seemed, was enough to kill him, as much as later he might perhaps wish that they were.

I read this because it was on a list kjack89 did of their favourite fics which don't necessarily have the same hits traffic. It's nothing I would have usually read (canon era, not e/R, MCD) but I am so glad I gave it a go. It's a study on what if Combeferre had survived the barricades too and the guilt. This stayed with me for days afterwards until I eventually messaged kjack89 to get permission to podfic it.

BatFam

Canonish (I don't know differences between canons but these are all they're superheros fics)

Robins United by laceymcbain (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | T | 49k (6h15)/ 19k (2h25) (First part) | 103k hits

Bullets, knives, a three story fall, even a fucking crowbar hadn't managed to keep Jason down permanently, but Dick Grayson (and the rest of his "family") was going to kill him with kindness.

The ultimate batbros series. Also if you haven't heard reena_jenkins' podfics before, you are welcome. Pre-pandemic I took a lot of public transport and reena_jenkins kept me sane.

batcoons by drakefeathers (read by reena_jenkins) Gen | G | 6k (49mins) | 14k hits

Jason and raccoons have a lot in common. (Additionally: his so-called family are much bigger pests than the stray animals hanging around his safehouse.)

This is funny, it's heartwarming, and it's a really good character study.

Here Comes the Sun by batsy_rocks Clark/Bruce | T | 19k | 20k hits

Clark Kent is a kind-hearted reporter working in the big city. Bruce Wayne is a stressed dad of four with no idea of what he's doing. Then they meet.

Bruce Wayne is a Tired Single Dad™. It's genuinely such a sweet fic.

#fic rec #spn fic rec #merlin fic rec #les mis fic rec

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