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allthemarrowoflife · 3 years

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i have a lot of headcanons about characters becoming teachers after graduating hogwarts. like, it's probably my favourite "after the plot is over and the war is won and they're supposed to go live happily ever after" trope.

give me professor sprout retiring not because she's tired and actually needs to, but because she wants to open the position so neville longbottom can take over. give me him always forgetting to put on his teacher robes and just teaching all day in a too big jumper and a dirt stained overall. him being the deputy headmaster and the head of gryffindor house, so respected as a war hero and a herbology academic that first years get intimidated, only to be greeted before the sorting ceremony by this short and cuddly looking guy with a kind smile and encouraging words to ease their nerves. him giving the best introductory class at the start of term and asking each student about their favourite plant, making everyone feel welcomed and appreciated, letting them know that it's okay to struggle and to come to him for help.

give me harry giving up on becoming an auror because at this point he's done with action and just wants to settle down, so he takes the DADA position. him teaching in flannels and leather jackets and ripped jeans and converses, because he's not used to wizard robes and finds them uncomfortable. unlike neville, the students don't break their awe and nervousness about being taught by The harry potter instantly upon meeting him, because his horrible resting bitch face still makes him seem intimidating and too serious, so the anxious looks and amazed whispers only stop during his first class when he actually starts talking and smiling and joking. him making almost every class be practical, putting music on and pushing the furniture against the wall, because it's best to learn defense on your feet than just by reading the theory from a book. him being the teacher that is focused and gets the work done but makes the students have so much fun while doing it that they all groan when his class is over. him doing his best to help and make the kids feel safe when they come to him about personal problems, offering a piece of chocolate before they leave and saying "eat, you'll feel better".

give me mcgonnagal FINALLY convincing professor binns to cross over to the afterlife and let someone younger and less socially outdated have the position. so susan bones comes and becomes the head of hufflepuff house, makes the history of magic classes interesting, shows the students that it's an extremely important subject that doesn't deserve to be dismissed as "boring" just because someone couldn't do it right. instead of falling asleep by the first ten minutes, the kids spend the whole time on the edge of their seats, attention gripped by her storyteller way of explaining different events. her giving the students freedom to interact with the narrative, encouraging them to raise their hands and share their thoughts, ask questions, give examples, tell their stories or the stories of people they know. her promoting debates about important historical points and socially relevant issues. when it's time to talk about contemporary history and the first and second wizarding wars, give me her inviting friends and acquaintances to tell their own stories.

give me justin finch-fletchley being one of the first ever muggleborn teachers, personally invited by mcgonnagal to take the transfiguration position. him being the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who teaches such a methodical and complicated subject, with his outgoing and bubbly nature. the students feeling at ease in his class because they know that if they don't understand at first, they can always ask him later and he will patiently explain again. him joking around the classroom to demonstrate the spells, making the students laugh so much their stomachs hurt. him saying that it's okay to not succeed at first, or ever, because in the end what matters is that you tried and your grades don't define you.

the older teachers not being used to having such young colleagues, specially considering they were still students just a few years before, and developing the habit of calling them "the youngsters". in turn, neville, harry, susan and justin taking years to stop feeling weird about calling their former teachers by their first names.

them gossiping with flitwick and trelawney over cups of tea in the teachers room in between classes.

them being introduced to the decades-ongoing betting pool about the students' love lives and getting excited to participate.

them joking with hagrid during lunch at the teachers table.

them actively refusing to turn a blind eye to bullying in the school, overlook prejudiced comments or dismiss the students' mental health, because it's fresh in their minds how harmful that can be.

the students waving at them when they walk by because they're comfortable doing so, knowing they're supposed to respect their teachers, but not fear them.

them respecting their students' learning particularities and disabilities, advocating for squibs to be able to attend hogwarts because most classes don't even require actual casting of spells anyway, it's only a matter of adjusting timetables so they don't have to take those.

harry finally having the peace and quiet he deserves, no more fighting or saving anyone. just a steady life of stressing over teenagers and sipping tea in his office.

neville being the person he needed when he was younger, making sure his students never feel stupid or ridiculed. praising each of their achievements, no matter how small, and reminding then constantly that they're not a disappointment and that he's proud.

susan breaking the image of the softie hufflepuff, being the most serious and strict teacher, second only to mcgonnagal herself. her sense of justice will have her give a student a month of detention for making fun of someone's appearance and everyone knows that if you're caught cheating at her test your marks are fucked.

justin being amazing at teaching one of the hardest magical subjects and shutting up all the blood supremacists who think muggleborns are less capable. he was underestimated for a while into the transfiguration position, the older staff thought his humor and unusual way of teaching would get the students nowhere in such a meticulous class, but they were proven wrong when kids who wouldn't have looked twice at the subject ended up falling in love with it because of him.

just. give me characters becoming young teachers. barely into their twenties having to teach 11 to 17 year olds, and absolutely loving it. being people the students can look up and relate to. bringing a fresher point of view to an environment that usually just seeks to punish kids instead of understanding them. YOUNG TEACHERS AT HOGWARTS. PLEASE AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

#me projecting onto fictional characters yet again #yes i've put way too much thought into this hc #neville longbottom #harry potter #susan bones #justin finch fletchley #minerva mcgonagall #filius flitwick #sybill trelawney #rubeus hagrid #gryffindor #hufflepuff #hogwarts #hogwarts professors #harry potter headcanon #harry potter series #post hogwarts #epilogue what epilogue

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slugtranslation-hypmic · 3 years

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Hihihi this is may be a weird question but is your opinion on the main hypmic cast?

In brief:

(Spoiler alert: It was not brief. Stuck under a cut for length)

Ichirou: He's a good kid. I wasn’t super into him at first, as main protagonists very rarely hold my interest, but I appreciate him now for the struggles he goes through and the growth he’s experienced across the series.

Jirou: Jirou is also a good kid in his own way. I didn’t know what to do with him for a while, but now I feel like I understand him too. I don’t think he quite gets what makes Ichirou be as loved as he is, nor does he really understand what makes people love him for who he is. But that’s okay. He’ll get it someday.

Saburou: If you had tasked me as a fourteen year old to create an idealized anime boy sona, I would have come up with someone shockingly similar to Saburou. I’m fond of him. He can be a bit mean at times in a very fourteen way, but deep down, he’s a good kid too. All the BBs are good kids.

Samatoki: I just can’t not make fun of him. His posturing is so ridiculous to me that I am constantly filled with the urge to clown on him. Oh, you think you’re so tough? You think you’re a big tough guy? Well, I’m just a little bastard; what are you going to do about it? But underneath the posturing, I do feel sorry for him and admire his strengths a lot. He’s a good kid too under a very funny exterior.

Juuto: I’m enjoying learning more about him from the BB/MTC+ manga, but I’m a bit surprised at how much of a dick he is even deep down. Still, he has plenty of good qualities too, and I like him in a vague sort of way. I’d throw fruit at him over a fence but wouldn’t put any malice in it.

Riou: What a delightful individual he is. The BB/MTC chapter about him really resonated with me. For a character so outwardly obsessed with the military, Riou has an incredible understanding of the weight of his actions and such a deep appreciation for every living thing. There’s a lot of his depth to his simplicity, and the level of care he exhibits towards everyone is delightful to witness. An absolute favorite among the cast.

Ramuda: Self-recognition through the other (derogatory). In all seriousness, Ramuda’s story arc and actions are great narrative tools for me to examine some things about myself and grow to try to be a better, more considerate person towards myself and others. I want to see him achieve freedom and happiness.

Gentarou: I enjoy Gentarou quite a bit, although I think he gets overshadowed by the other members of Fling Posse at times due to my sheer passion for Dice and Ramuda. He’s my favorite character to translate at the moment, which is apparently heresy among Hypmic translators. More than the sheer fun of writing his witty banter, I find him to be a very intriguing individual, and I’m excited to learn more about him. I want his happiness too.

Dice: Oh, Dice... He’s a really good kid in a way that the BBs could never be. He’s deceptively good, and he does choose to hurt other people and himself in ways that characters like Ichirou don’t. But he also finds the goodness in the oddest places, like a person finding a coin in a cracked sidewalk, and that’s delightful. His narrative is one of the most compelling for me. What a champion of a character.

Jakurai: Wow, what a good foil for Ramuda. Let me bounce narratives off of you like a mirror. I’m slowly learning to find him compelling in his own right, however. This is also a self-recognition through the other (derogatory) scenario, but there’s more of an emphasis on the derogatory part.

Hifumi: A funny little individual bearing a lot of sadness and a whole lot more courage. Like most of Matenrou, I admire him a lot, but I think that Matenrou resonates much more strongly with other people than they do for me, so I prefer to sit back and let other people appreciate them. I think he’s very brave and very fun to read/write.

Doppo: The biggest fucking mood in existence. When you move past the stereotypical aspects, you end up with another character who has a lot of deep flaws but also an incredible amount of courage. I’m excited to see where they go with him, but again, I’ll sit back and let others take the first row here.

Kuukou: Having already drafted Saburou, if you came back to me at age eighteen and asked me to make an idealized anime boy sona, you would probably have ended up with a character astonishingly like Kuukou. He brings me sheer joy. Astonishingly, I feel like Kuukou has exhibited the least growth out of any of the cast, and yet I do not mind a bit. He is the closest to the perfect man I have ever met. I would drop everything to be this dude’s homie if he existed in real life. Just a champion individual.

Juushi: Juushi’s a good kid. I’m very fond of him and like writing him, but much like Matenrou, I feel like he does a lot more for other people than he does for me. Therefore, much of how I work with him is less, “How do I enjoy this character as a reader?” and more “How do I nurture the traits about him that other people love?”

Hitoya: Hitoya strikes me as a damn good person with a lot of heart who sometimes lets his anger drive him a bit too much. He’s also utterly ridiculous, of course, but I try to write him with as much strength as possible to be present behind his words. He honestly seems like a great person to know in real life, not simply as a fictional character, as well.

Sasara: I have to clown on him to assert dominance. Joking aside, I admire the depths of his character and the growth he’s shown over the series. He can be pretty callous at times and goes to odd lengths to get what he wants, but I think he’s now starting to realize how much his actions affect other people. For a while I was really in his camp as a hardcore Sasara lover (back before he was a main cast member - I love writing quirky minor characters), but now I approach him with the idea mentioned above, ie how I can present him for other people.

Roshou: Whenever he’s around the rest of Dotsu Hon, I think he’s kind of an idiot. I mean that in the best way possible. It’s very endearing. Yet moments when he’s on his own are where I think he best shines, and I would love to see more solo material for him. He’s an incredibly good support character, and I admire his passion for his students.

Rei: I really enjoy asshole antagonists, which is why I liked Ramuda for a while before the clone story came up behind me and struck me into the ground with its mighty fists. Now Rei fills this role. I would love to learn more about him and team up with the Buster Bros to pelt him with rotten eggs in a fun bonding activity. I’m sure there is some strong backstory that will absolve him of at least some of his shittiness, but until now, I’m still not excusing his whole abandoning his children thing, not to mention the human trafficking thing he pulled with Ramuda.

Otome: I hate translating her, if only because she and Rei frequently talk about things in extremely vague terms that I have no context for. It’s hard to make her sound idiomatic in English while also not shooting myself in the foot by accidentally filling in the wrong information. But with that aside, she’s okay. I like her, I guess. Her motivations are pretty interesting.

Ichijiku: Ichijiku was written for people who are sexually attracted to women, and I’m not at all, so I 100% approach her in terms of her pull on other people. She’s fun on her own, though, and I’m impressed at her ability to walk in high heels. Her complete disrespect for everyone but Otome brings me no end of entertainment in reading and writing.

Nemu: YOU. Maybe this is some stupid toxic masculinity thing, but I always feel embarrassed speaking affectionately about male characters but not at all about female characters. Therefore Nemu gets all of my loveposting. She’s a wonderful girl! She has such a strong spirit, and I’m completely overjoyed that she’s making her own decisions and becoming her own character defined on her own terms. I want to watch her grow up big and strong. Fuck yes, baby girl! Fuck it up! I’m very proud of her.

#not a translation #asks #hypmic asks

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rylekayner · 3 years

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who's your favorite player and why?

ok so i couldn't narrow it down to one so i was going to narrow it down to five. That didn't work either so without further ado in no particular order here's my top 10 players and why:

1. Brenden Gallagher - He was the first hockey player i knew of (don't come at me i live in Australia) and i got really into his personality through all of the Habs media stuff when the Gallys were a thing and i've grown to love his playing style. My thing for stupid rat boys can be traced back to him.

2. Tyler Seguin - He's the first hockey player that i really just fell for (yes i know stereo-typical) for about 6 years i was a die hard Stars fan because of my love for him. He's done some kinda sketchy stuff when he was young but imma be honest i find the whole twitter incident fucking hilarious more than homophobic and he's shown a lot of active growth over the years and has actual receipts towards actually being a good person - notably attending BLM marches and kneeling in solidarity. I can no longer call myself a stars fan (fuck ja benn) but I will forever be a Seguin fan.

3. Braden Holtby - First of all have you seen that man? How can you not love him? Like even if he had the personality of a burning dumpster he's still beautiful as all hell. That being said he's got a great personality and is so stead fast in his morals that i could and have cried over his vocal allyship with the LGBT community for so many years. Also the turtle saga, hope his turtles are doing well down in dallas.

4. Claude Giroux - The mouth on this man, iconic. This may be controversial but when i first started actually paying attention to hockey i was being guided by a penguins fan, they made me watch a game with them, of course it was against the flyers and much to their chagrin I instantly fell in love with Giroux. As a got more into hockey tumblr i just kept finding out more and more about this silly little man the more i loved him (i would like to mention danny briere as an honorary mention along with Claude since i have watched that one video where they're in Germany thousands of times). Now here I am a flyers fan.

5. Travis Konecny - That's right another little rat bastard. Even when i was sorta out of the loop with hockey i couldn't stop paying attention to this little man. I have a habit of keeping track of all the short kings through out the league (shout out nathan gerbe). I think TK should have his own personal mic for every game, i want to hear every single thing out of that garbage cans mouth. That one game where he finally gets Crosby to bite and is just having the time of his life.

6. Nolan Patrick - Yeah yeah yeah, we all saw this coming but hey nothing wrong with the classics. Beautiful man, I wish i was him. So much envy, also crippling migraine gang!

7. Erik Johnson - He's the reason I got back into hockey. I honestly cannot explain it, I don't know why but there was just something about the missing teeth that drew me to him (the worst part is I'm not even joking). This man and his fucking horses, absolute legend he just names them after his teammates without blinking. Also his private account on Instagram is "bighorny" and he uses it primarily to talk shit on himself on avalanche posts while unsuspecting fans try to defend him.

8. Nicke Backstrom - My love, he's the reason I learnt swedish. Another member of the crippling migraine gang, but for real when I was a 14 year old kid suffering from a migraine disorder knowing that other people who had achieved crazy levels of success like Nicke was very comforting. Also I think his sense of humour is wildly underrated causes totally dry.

9. Matthew Tkachuk - I know, I know, another little rat boy. I think the whole legacy thing is really interesting but like beyond that he is such a defined player in terms of he's carved out the perfect little nook within the league and that nook just happens to be getting under everyone else's skin. Obviously, everyone knows the whole thing between Matty and Drai but I feel like people have forgotten about the whole Drew Dougherty thing. "ah yes fellow associate" king shit.

10. Carey Price - And we're coming full circle back to the habs. Pricy is an absolute class act everyone knows that, he's such a kind person to all of the fans. I seriously miss the PK&Pricy bromance :( also, his wife is beautiful and the whole thing with him using his wife lingerie as a pocket square lives in my mind absolutely rent free. Also goalie so <3

I could make this list longer (they'd all be goalies, didn't put enough goalies on this list) but ill stop now.

Extra little shout out to all the flyers rookies too.

#anon #long post #hockey #nhl #brendan gallagher #tyler seguin #braden holtby #claude giroux #travis konecny #nolan patrick #erik johnson #nicklas bäckström #matthew tkachuk #carey price

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averykedavra · 4 years

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Okay, today we’re talking about that scene in LNTAO. You know. That scene.

Yeah.

The thing about Logan (which I’ve noticed during a super-secret project I’m working on that involved reading all the scripts for TSS) is that he apologizes easily—for small stuff. He probably apologizes more than most characters, and it’s pretty instinctive. He hits Patton accidentally? He apologizes.

LOGAN: I am so sorry. I popped up too close there.

His phone interrupts a question? He apologizes.

LOGAN: I'm sorry, that is my text tone.

He doesn't need Virgil right now but Virgil showed up anyway? He apologizes.

LOGAN: Oh, I'm--I'm sorry, no.

This makes sense. Apologizing is logical. When you've made a small mistake or hurt someone, apologize. So far, Logan's acting in accordance with his logic and being even a little more empathetic than necessary.

Things get more interesting, however, when we cross the line from small nuisances to larger mistakes. It's hard to define the difference but in this case, it's usually when Logan has made a severe error in judgment that has consequences beyond himself. Especially when Thomas is directly or indirectly affected--Thomas is Logan's center and Logan cares deeply about helping and supporting Thomas. So when Logan messes up and accidentally jeopardizes Thomas or leads him astray, he treats this as a serious mistake.

What kind of mistake am I talking about? This kind:

He always apologizes for these, too. It's just not the same way he apologized for the smaller stuff. Instead of a simple 'sorry,' he barely ever uses that word at all. Instead, he says it in a usually circituous way that implies he may have made a mistake. And he focuses on what he can do to fix it and what the next steps may be.

In Mind vs. Heart, his constant arguing with Patton leaves Thomas indecisive and feeling pressured over every little decision. Although Patton immediately starts gushing apologies when he finds out, Logan is more composed.

LOGAN: What can we do to fix this?

In Losing My Motivation, he tries to find the root of Thomas' procrastination and ends up being said root. When he realizes, he almost panics, and Thomas has to calm him down before he spirals. He doesn't fully apologize until the next video, the Q & A.

LOGAN: Maybe we can help you with something in order to make up for mistakes one might have made prior?

In Growing Up, he and Roman talk over Patton and try to convince Thomas to live an entirely different life for the sake of "growing up." It's Logan who realizes something is wrong, and it's Logan who goes to ask someone about it.

LOGAN: I don't think...we have this quite right. Morality? What are we doing wrong?

And this is despite his admission later this same episode:

LOGAN: I do not like being wrong.

In Learning New Things About Ourselves, Logan champions that Thomas needs to change his life around and get a "real" job because nobody takes him seriously. It's maybe his biggest mistake so far in the series. It angers Roman, alienates Virgil, and contributes to Thomas' harmful mindset about his own value as a content creator. When Logan finally realizes that a more silly and joking medium doesn't mean the ideas aren't important and meaningful, he actually apologizes to Roman. In his own roundabout way.

LOGAN: All right, maybe there's some knowledge out there that I wasn't privy to before. Not that I was wrong! But...I should be open to more sources...I-I don't suppose there's anything that I could do to make it up to you?

In Moving On, Logan suggests they go to Patton's room without realizing that as Thomas is a chronic worrier, nostalgia could have adverse effects on his mental health and his anxiety.

LOGAN: Ugh, such a foolish oversight on my part.

(Logan uses the word 'foolish' a lot when insulting himself or someone else. He uses it to describe Thomas' new hair that makes him feel silly, them turning into puppets, and here, himself. He also uses the term 'ridiculous' multiple times, as well as 'silly,' 'preposterous,' and 'stupid.' Stupid especially is something he apparently hates to be called. But we'll get back to that.)

In Moving On Pt. 2, after Logan leaves in frustration when no one heeds his warnings, he says this line when the other Sides apologize for not listening:

LOGAN: All that matters is how we proceed.

And that basically sums it up. Despite his self-proclaimed "fondness for being told that [he's] right," Logan always owns up to his mistakes and looks to better himself. (Eventually. And it does sometimes require him being called out on it, or he might not realize it is a mistake.)

One of my personal beliefs is that Logan's love language is "acts of service." He struggles with verbal affirmations, as shown in Alone on Valentine's Day when he attempts to say a verbal "I love you." Instead, he expresses care by helping others with their issues and adding knowledge to their discussions. Logan's way of showing appreciation is to be helpful. (Which adds another layer to his frustration when he's ignored--it's literally the people he loves not understanding or outright rejecting his way of showing connection and compassion.)

But yeah. What we've seen is that Logan struggles with verbal apologies for more serious grievances, especially when it includes him admitting he's wrong. But he still attempts them and always says "How do I fix this?" He works to right his wrongs and make things better. As I said above, so much of Logan's drive is to be helpful and to support Thomas. If he fails at this, he tries harder the next time. Sometimes this works, sometimes this doesn't, but being helpful is his end goal and what he defaults to when he feels he's made a mistake.

With all this in mind, let's return to that scene in Learning New Things About Ourselves.

Logan has just made probably his biggest mistake toward another Side. Him and Roman argue a lot, and sometimes Logan strikes at vulnerabilities intentionally or unintentionally, but he has never outright tried to hurt Roman. Until now. Roman calls his love of clarity in communication "stupid." And Logan crumples up his flashcard and throws it at Roman's face.

That itself is an expression of anger that's pretty uncharacteristic for Logan. He usually fights with words, not actual violence. Everyone's shocked. And none more so than Logan himself.

He's made a mistake. He hasn't directly harmed Thomas, but he's hurt one of his friends, and there's no justification for the way he lashed out. And he apologizes easily. But this apology is different from all his others. Let's break it down.

LOGAN: I'm sorry, I don't know what that was. Maybe I should go.

The first part. 'I'm sorry.' A simple, quick apology.

Except we've seen that he struggles with this. He never directly apologizes for anything major in the series, especially not right away. This is something instinctive. It's the same instinct as when he says 'sorry' for popping up too close and hitting Patton in the nose. He's seen a friend get hurt, so he apologizes. It's interesting that he has this same instinct with Patton and Roman, despite the fact that Roman just insulted him and they have a famously strained relationship. He sees he's hurt Roman physically and he apologizes.

(It's also notable that if Logan saw such outward signs of hurt emotionally, he might go a little easier on Roman, but Roman has always been good at hiding his emotions. Logan can't pick up as easily on the subtle things. He needs outward pain, and Roman is practiced in not showing that.)

The second part. 'I don't know what that was.'

This is even more worrying. Logan is admitting he doesn't know something. Logan is saying he doesn't understand why he did something, when he's usually a very rational person. He just acted on emotion. He lashed out in anger. And he doesn't understand that. So he can't even admit his mistake fully, because he doesn't know why it happened--he can't pin it on a lack of information, or an oversight, or not listening to every source. There's no logical way to explain what happened, at least to him. Because he denies that he has emotions and is influenced by them.

Therefore, he's already floundering in this apology. How is he supposed to apologize when he doesn't understand why he did what he did, and how is he supposed to correct a mistake when he doesn't understand why it happened?

This brings us to part three. 'Maybe I should go.'

Take a good look at that. Logan, Logic Sanders, whose whole existence revolves around helping Thomas, is offering to leave an important discussion.

He's committed an error. He's apologized. This is usually when he offers to make things better, to say he won't do this again and that he's learned from his mistakes and asks what he can do to make it up to them. Here, he's found a solution like that: he offers to leave. He says "I have made a mistake, I don't understand what happened, and I'm going to leave so I don't repeat that mistake."

In a horrible way, it's almost logical. If he doesn't understand why he did something, the easiest way to prevent such a thing from reoccurring is to change the situation and prevent himself from physically doing it again. But this is also extremely harmful. Logan has essentially given up on helping Thomas because he hurt his friend and doesn't know how to keep himself from doing it again.

He doesn't know, and that terrifies him.

So he immediately offers to leave. As if that's the most helpful thing he can do to make up for his actions: spare everyone his company. Stop contributing to the discussion, stop helping the person he cares about most, stop expressing his affection and love through helpful facts and encouraging discussions.

This isn't the first or last time that he leaves a discussion. He's done so in anger in both Moving On and Putting Others First, both times motivated by frustration at not being listened to or cared about. But it can be clearly seen that this comes from an entirely different motivation. He's hesitant and afraid of himself and what just happened. Patton yells "No!" right after Logan suggests this, and Logan visibly flinches. And when Patton continues, Logan still looks surprised, as if Patton isn't making any sense.

And after this, Logan is still a little hesitant. He pauses before clarifying "Like Maria?" and after talking about how the Snuffleupagusses (pardon the spelling if it’s incorrect) aren't imaginary, mutters to himself "Clarity" as if he's trying to convince himself of something. That's the same 'clarity' that Roman called him stupid for before. It's as if Logan's asserting his own belief that clarity is important after Roman made him doubt that.

Logan ruffles his hair, takes a deep breath, and that's the end of the scene. But the vulnerability in that moment, right after he hurt someone close to him, is still a rare moment of a Logan who has completely let his guard down. He's almost helpless, because he has no idea what to do. So he defaults to trying to help, and in this moment of uncertainty, he can only picture himself "helping" by leaving.

LOGAN: I'm sorry, I don't know what that was. Maybe I should go.

It's perhaps Logan's most sincere apology to date. However, the baggage it comes with and the situation itself make it less than a perfect moment. Instead, it reveals how unequipped Logan feels to handle his own emotional outbursts, how much he values helping others, and how he's beginning to start feeling like when he messes up, the best thing for everyone is to stay out of the way.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #sanders sides theory #logan sanders angst #logan sanders theory #averywrites #i'm kinda proud of this so rbs are appreciated!!#and feel free to add stuff!!#tw caps

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whump-a-la-mode · 3 years

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Nemesis - Part 4

Based on the votes from Part 3, option B was chosen-- Hero will lie to Leader, and trust Hacker. But time is running out, and they must make their move fast. Perhaps, however, they have moved too fast.

Thanks so much to everyone for reading, and special thanks to @whumpilicious for coming up with Hero’s plan!

CW//Mentions of breakups, mentions of concussions, crude jokes, shapeshifting, forced sedation

“No. They need to be here.”

“And why would that be?”

Hero’s attempt to suppress a shiver failed as a single bead of frigid sweat ran down the back of their neck.

They could tell Leader the truth. Hell, they would likely never get a chance as good as this one. The leader of an entire team would be an incredibly powerful asset, an incredibly powerful ally. They could have Villain out of there before Hero could blink.

Or, they could lock them away in some underground bunker, never again to be seen by human eyes.

It was an untenable risk. If Villain was ever going to be saved, Leader needed to remain ignorant.

When had they started thinking of this as a rescue mission?

They expected that realization to make them feel sick, but it did anything but. Instead, it reaffirmed their decision.

“There’s a reason the rehab facility is in the city.” Hero finally replied, after a long moment of shaky-eyed staring. “If anything happens, we’re close by. I’m sure the villains housed there are well aware of that fact. Moving Villain farther away... it’d put them even further out of my sight. It’d make my worries far worse, I assure you.”

Leader raised a brow, looking down at Hero a moment, as if studying a particularly interesting piece of artwork. At last, they nodded.

“I may not understand why you are so worried about this hypothetical escape plan, but I will humor you.”

“You won’t say anything to Director?”

“I will not give Director my opinion on the matter. But it is my duty to report your performance. The terms they outlined are very clear. If you do not stop distracting yourself with this silly venture within the week, Villain’s transfer will go ahead. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

Hero bit their lip.

“Do you report... everyone’s performance?”

“Everyone under my command? Yes.”

“But there’s dozens of teams.”

“I am aware.”

“Surely Director does not look over everyone’s performance reports.”

Leader’s mouth pursed.

“They are very busy, so I assume they do not.”

“Did you mention my performance to them?”

“No.” A crescendo of discomfort seemed to reach its peak within Leader, whose gaze quickly moved downwards, to the table.

Hero felt their ears grow red, yet they could not stop themself from pushing.

“They noticed on their own.”

“Yes.”

“The others have had slips, before. Remember when Teammate broke up with their partner? Or when Other Teammate had their concussion?”

“Of course I remember.”

“Did Director say anything then?”

“No. What’s with all the questions? I don’t know why Director is so worried about you, but it’s not my job to question their motives. It’s my job to make sure that the city stays safe, and that you keep your eyes on the road.”

Hero suddenly felt awfully lightheaded.

“Can I ask you one more question?”

“Just one.”

“Have you ever met Director?”

A moment of silence resounded as the gears in Leader’s head ground.

“No. No one has. We communicate only over E-mail.”

“Wait, one more question.”

Leader frowned.

“Do you have any pictures of Director?”

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“This is like, the equivalent of walking into the White House and pretending to be the President. You know that, right? You get that?”

Hacker’s voice was even more high-pitched and anxiety-twinged than usual.

“I am well aware.” Hero nodded.

They were well aware of how stupid the idea was, but they hoped that wasn’t evident in their voice. That was the only thing that really mattered, considering that they were currently speaking to Hacker on the phone, though it didn’t stop them from struggling to keep their shoulders level and their gaze steady.

“And you still want to do it. You still want to walk into the White House and pretend to be the President.”

“You’re really proud of that metaphor, aren’t you?”

“A little. Answer the question, though.”

Hero exhaled, exasperated.

“Yes. I’m doing this. There’s no choice.”

“Your hesitation went away really fast. Did you finally grow a pair of balls or-”

“We only have a week.”

“Oh, god. There’s a time limit now?”

“It’s a long story, but, TLDR is, Villain needs out of there in the next week.”

“Otherwise?”

“They’ll be transferred out of the city. Out of our reach.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. Damn indeed.”

“Well, then, what do we need to do?”

“Did you grow a pair, too?”

“Maybe. I’m not about to go guns blazing with you, but... Let’s just say I’m invested in how this all turns out. Any help I can offer from behind a screen, I’ll do it. Are you sure we only have a week? Is there any other option?”

“Well... The ultimatum is that if I don’t get my performance up in the next week, they’re going away. The Organization’s director thinks it’ll help me.”

“Then just get your performance up?” Hacker sounded perplexed.

“It’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?”

Hero gritted their teeth.

The way Hacker spoke, it made the situation sound so simple. As if Hero could just decide to forget years of fighting, of... of whatever they and Villain had. They couldn’t just go on. They should have been able to. Anyone else would have been able to.

But they couldn’t. They knew that their best efforts would not be enough to keep Villain within striking distance, no matter how much sweat they poured in.

“Because... Because I know it isn’t. And, besides, the sooner we get them out of there, the better.”

“If you say so, boss. What do we gotta do?”

“Can you send a fake email? Make it look like it’s from someone important?”

“In my sleep. What do you need?”

“Tell the rehab unit that they’re to expect a very special visitor.”

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It was a stupid plan. Just as stupid as walking into a hostage situation pretending to be a reporter.

But, in the end, that plan had worked. Just not quite in the way they had wanted it to.

On the outside, the appearance of the rehab center had not changed a bit. Even the childish artworks in the windows remained static, untouched by the hands that had supposedly created them.

Yet, despite the appearance remaining unmoving, when Hero gazed upon the brightly-painted structure and its white picket fence, they could not help but feel as though they had swallowed a stone.

It all felt so wrong. A vicious Villain contained in such a cutesy building. If Villain themself knew, they likely would have been sick. Or furious. Or sick and furious.

If everything went right... they would know, soon.

That was all the plan that Hero had worked out. They had an entrance plan, and a car. Thinking ahead of that made them feel awfully lightheaded. Besides, future thinking like that was far too optimistic for their tastes. If, and only if, they made it out of this alive, then they would think ahead.

Until then, their future plans consisted only of what step they were to take after the current one.

“Do you have visual?” Hero whispered.

“You don’t have to be so quiet.” Hacker’s voice crackled in their ear. “You’re still in the car, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want them to think I’m talking to myself like some kind of nutcase.”

“Maybe Director is a nutcase. No one knows. That’s what you’re basing this whole gimmick on, right?”

Hero sighed. “Just about.”

They pulled down the car’s sun visor, flipping up the little panel that covered the miniature mirror embedded within. Even with how long they had had their powers, they did not think they would ever get used to looking in the mirror and staring upon a face that was not their own.

Director’s face looked awfully like it belonged on the front of a magazine. Well-cropped black hair, a curling, defined jawline that led to ears adorned by modest steel studs.

“What time is it?”

“Can’t you look at a clock?”

“I want to make sure I have the disguise right.”

“Well, they’re expecting you in about five minutes. Do you think Director is early? Or punctual? Or-”

“I think if I sit in here for another second, I’m going to lose it.”

“Guess they’re gonna be early, then.” A nervous sigh. “Are you ready for this?”

“I think so. You’ve got point, right?”

“Yep. They’ve got their security stuff pretty well protected from remote infiltration, but so long as you’re nearby the building itself, I should be able to see everything the cameras can see.”

“What are you... what are going to do if I fail?”

“I think I’m the last thing you should be worrying about, in that scenario.”

“No. You’re a civilian.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, and last time you were calling me a criminal.”

“That’s not... don’t worry about that. Right now, you’re a civilian, and you don’t need to get yourself wrapped up in all this nonsense. So, in the very real event that I fail, what are you going to do to protect yourself?”

“I... I can cut the connection. The thing in your ear, it’ll look like nothing more than a normal earbud. Is that good enough for you?”

“Yes.”

“And, once you’re in there, don’t reply to anything I say. Not unless everything goes terribly wrong.”

“Got it.”

“Now, we ready for real?”

Hero gave a sharp nod.

“Let’s do this.”

Stepping out of the vehicle, they forgot just how tall they were in this form. They could change into all forms of animals, operate just fine as bird or beast, but existing in the form of another person never ceased feeling terribly odd to them.

They didn’t do it very often. But, this time, it was the only choice they had. And if no one had heard Director’s voice before... then their plan should work just fine.

It was far too many ifs and shoulds for their taste, but that wasn’t important. Not while Villain was still in there.

Hero slammed the car door as authoritatively as they could manage, keeping their gait even and steady, even as they moved in an uncomfortably restrictive suit.

They were at the door far too quickly. They settled their jaw, then, and entered the White House, pretending to be the President.

Behind the front desk was seated the same labcoat, though, now, they had a far more formal posture to them. Upon Hero’s entrance, they seemed confused on whether to salute or bow. After a few nervous moments, they settled for a simple:

“Hello.”

Hero flashed Director’s pearly white smile.

“Good afternoon. I hope I’m not too late?”

“O- Oh, of course not. It’s an honor to have you visit our humble facility.” Labcoat’s ears grew rapidly red in hue. “Would you like a tour, maybe? Or to meet with our head doctor? Or-”

“Oh, no, none of that will be necessary. I am sure we are both far too busy for all those formalities. You must run a very tight ship, here. It is very nice.”

“Thank you! Thank you, sir.”

“Of course. But, no. I do not need the tour. Perhaps another time. For now, I do not have all too long. Would you be kind enough to show me to Villain’s room?”

“Of course, sir.” Labcoat leapt up from their seat, still looking as though they wanted to bow. “It’s just this way, if you would please follow me. If that’s okay.”

Hero nodded in gratitude, following Labcoat through the steel door that led to the rest of the facility.

There was considerably more life to the building’s various rooms, compared to the last time they had visited. The common room at the front saw a group of villains stiffly sitting around a board game, moving the pieces at an agonizingly slow pace. Another watched an old movie on the television, their posture oddly perfect.

Hero tried their best not to show their discomfort.

Instead of leading them straight, into the dining hall, Labcoat turned left to one of the patient wings. The two of them walked past what must have been twenty doors, each of which had a name plaque upon its surface, stating proudly who resided within.

The door at the end of the hall did not have such a name. Instead, it had a simple label.

‘43′

Room 43. Villain’s own personal hell.

“Would you like company? Or would you like your visit to remain private?” Labcoat ducked their head as they spoke.

“Private, if you would not mind.”

“Of course not! Whatever you say, sir. When you are ready to leave just knock, uh, on the door. I’ll let you out. If that’s okay, um, or I could- Actually, no I don’t want you to have to knock. How about this.”

Hero felt their stomach twist, the organ confused about just how well the plan had turned out. To their great surprise, Labcoat reached within a pocket, producing a small metal key.

“Just use this.”

“Thank you very much.” Hero dipped their head, taking the key in turn. Like a mouse skittering from a cat, Labcoat was gone in an instant.

Hero was alone, outside the door. Their stomach sickened, though this time it was not from surprise.

Their plan was going perfectly! They couldn’t have hoped for better. They even had a key, and...

And they couldn’t do it. They felt their legs to be frozen in place, their mind instead filled with a spiraling cascade of images. Images of what their nemesis used to be.

And now...

“Hero.” The voice in their ear was soft. “Villain needs you.”

Hero nodded. They placed their hand upon the knob, and turned.

A gust of sterile air wafted out. Hero entered, closing the door behind themself.

Leaving themself alone with Villain. Some small part of them expected a witty one liner, a passive-aggressive joke. But there was none; only the mechanical whirring of medical machines.

And the slightest rise and fall of their nemesis’ chest.

They did not tell their legs to bring them to Villain’s bedside, but that is where they ended up. On the security footage they had seen, it had been nearly impossible to see their unconscious nemesis’ face.

Now, they had the best view in the world.

Some part of Hero had expected peace. Expected their former foe to have been spending their unconsciousness in a state of bliss. Certainly not an ideal state, but a comfortable one.

Instead, Villain’s closed eyes twitched, tiny movements flickering through their fingers. 375 days, and they were still fighting.

Of course they were. They would never stop fighting.

Hero didn’t notice as their hand reached out, practically on its own. Villain’s hand was cold.

Their face... everything about their face was too perfect. Too clean. Their mouth was locked in a permanent, blank frown. Their brows twitched, but did nothing more than that.

Villain’s eyes did not open.

Hero squeezed their hand tighter. The heartbeat monitor registered the slightest quickening of pace.

It was a knocking that broke Hero from their trance. They dropped Villain’s hand, stumbling backward, turning just as the room’s door opened to reveal a pair of blue scrubs.

Head Doctor smiled.

“Friend.” They chirped. “I’m so glad you could come visit. I missed seeing you, last week, but I understand how busy you are this time of year. How are you finding everything?”

Hero gulped.

Their imitations were perfect. They knew that, and they were quite proud of that fact. Just about any animal, they replicated with ease, and they could morph their face to match that of anyone they so chose to copy.

Appearances were easy. But there was one limit to shapeshifting.

Hero could not imitate voices.

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Thanks so much for reading! Just like last time, there are two options along with every part of this story. Alongside each options is a question, so that you guys can give more specific suggestions if you so wish. The option that receives the most votes will be the choice that our Hero makes!

A.) Hero is too far in. Keep up the ruse - How should Hero explain their voice?

B.) There’s no way to get out of this. Take the risk and run! - How should Hero make their escape?

#whump #whumpee #whumpblr #whump community #choose your own adventure #choose your own whump #nemesis #hero villain whump #villain whumpee #drugged whumpee

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teamfreewill2pointo · 3 years

Text

Family Don't End with Blood Transcription

Family Don't End with Blood Transcription [twitter version]

Jared: So, in Supernatural, our character Bobby Singer played by the wonderful Jim Beaver has a quote, “family don't end in blood”.

Jensen: You know, it's one of the many, kind of, mottos of-of Supernatural and it is the family that you choose and it is the people that you care about and that you fight next to and that you fight to save. And that inspire you. And that push you.

Singer: No, I think definitely the family was going to be a theme right from the beginning. I mean the Pilot story was and- and whatever the mythology of season one was- was, you know, the search for dad.

Dabb: You'll watch the first few moments of the Pilot and it very clearly plants this flag about what it is. It is a family show.

Misha: Like who's your clan and who are the people you care about the most? And obviously, two orphaned brothers couldn't care about anything in the world more than one another, but they envelop this community of people who also care about them and one another. Alex: Sam and Dean and Cas and Jack and these host of characters are kind of... with loss forced to reassess what family is, and what I love about the show is they kind of build their own version of that.

Jared: There's so many characters along the way that Sam and Dean treated as they would treat each other. Dabb: I think that was a core part of this, because Sam and Dean are two guys that, because they define everything by family, they're always looking for a family.

Jared: You know, not everybody out there has a wonderful family life as far as their- their blood relatives.

Dabb: Sam and Dean come from a very dysfunctional family. Their father suffered this great, you know, world shattering tragedy and really spent the entire rest of his life trying to get revenge. And unfortunately, Sam and Dean came second to that.

Dabb: So when they got to be an adult, and I think a lot of people that come from dysfunctional families find this... is it becomes less about the family you're born into and it becomes about your family by choice.

Jensen: When you find someone that's willing to fight alongside you for what you collectively believe is the right thing, then it instantly makes you brothers and sisters in arms. And that's exactly what these two brothers found. They found other brothers and sisters in arms.

Singer: Bobby really served as a, you know, a father figure. One thing we always tried to do is that if we had a guest character that really kind of hit the mark, we would say oh, you know, we got to keep going with this- with this person. Bobby, that, character is certainly one of them.

Beaver: If you're walking the walk, and not just talking the talk, I think probably respects that immensely and- and he sees that in Sam and Dean.

Buckner: Crowley, Charlie, Jack, Rowena... all these people had a commonality. I mean, they were all alone in their own little universes to a- to an extent.

Singer: When Misha showed up... and created the- the Castiel character, we knew we had something special.

Misha: It's been such an interesting arc with the character of Castiel on Supernatural.

Jensen: You know sure the story at the core was- was about these brothers, but it was also about this- this ragtag gang of fighters.

Samantha Smith: Most hunters are solitary. It’s lonely. And, when they can connect with other people who understand their pain and their life and their dedication and their purpose, there's going to be a bond there.

Jensen: I'm thankful for, not only the characters and how they were written and how they affected the Winchester's, but also for the actors and actresses that have portrayed them, because they too have become family with Jared and I. And they are- they're part of this crazy circus that is supernatural.

Dabb: Jared and Jensen are both excellent actors, but I think their biggest achievement on this show is the example they were able to set for everybody. And you know, it's kind of a famous story, but Eric Kripke sat them down, you know, the first season we're like, “This is your show. You guys set the tone of this show.”

Kripke: They're bringing so much more to it than I ever could have written, in their grounding it and they're making it real. And it's clear you watch these guys, and they're smart guys, going through this story and I'm-I’m thrilled.

Dabb: Both Jared and Jensen are capable of carrying a show on their own. As they now will go off and do, I'm sure. The fact that we could get them together for this period of time- again, I don’t know that’s something you are going to repeat on a TV show for a while.

Buckner: They-they really are quite incredible. Jensen learned to tap dance for an episode... I keep hearing the phrase “once in a lifetime” and probably so.

Dabb: To get two guys at this caliber who are leading men to come in and do that job into it so well, and so thoughtfully- again I-I said it earlier, but I don't think I'm gonna find that again in my career.

Jensen: That's the crazy thing about being on a show this long and- and not just being on a show this long, but being with a large- a large majority of our crew has been with us either from the beginning 15 years or they've been with us 12 years, or 10 years, or eight years.

Jensen: That's a long, long time for these professionals to be in one- to be on one job.

Singer: Our set was always loose. The crew felt part of the family. They were in on the joke. The guys were always great to the crew, had great respect for the crew.

Sheppard: Truly great people all at the peak of their abilities. Some great, great wonderful writers, some extraordinary producers over the years, the various showrunners from Kripke at the beginning, to Sera, to- to Jeremy, to Andrew. It's been an amazing journey.

Misha: I've just been both grateful and inspired to be around a crew like this. We laugh so much and I-I know that Jared and Jensen and the producers all agree, we wouldn't be here if the crew of Supernatural wasn't the crew that it is.

Alex Calvert: I came into this show relatively late compared to everybody else.

The relationships that I've seen at work and away from work are incredible. People have started families. People have had kids on the show. You know, I think these people are-are gonna be in each other's lives forever because of this bond that they formed.

Dabb: This is a show where assistants have gone on to write scripts.

This is a show where crew people have gone on to direct. It's a show that has tried to be supportive to people who show that passion and that work ethic to get up there and do it. I certainly have felt supported. I mean, I-I went from a staff writer to running the show and you know, so obviously I felt very supported (laughs) in kind of my goals.

Jared: You know, I've-I’ve met my wife, mother of my kids. I met one of my groomsmen. I met a ton of dear friends, and I have a new extended family, our SPN family.

Jared: I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Alex: I think the- the overwhelming thing that I'd like to express for me and I think for a lot of people on the show that maybe don't get a say, which I want to represent, is the crew and the people that build the show and paint the show.

Alex: You know, costume to show and- and are here everyday working on it. I think a lot of it is just gratitude and thankfulness that- that we get to do what we do.

Dabb: On the writing side of it here in Burbank, that's always felt like there's a family atmosphere. I feel it's a great gift where we work with so many people that are both talented and professional.

Buckner: They- a lot of laughter in that room. I remember a tabletop strewn with toys, and play-dough, and slinkies, and etcha-a-sketches, and blocks that got played with endlessly. I know there's a whole wall covered with index cards with various, either funny, pointless, or stupid, things that the writers have said over the course of many, many, many meetings that's tacked up on a wall. And remember just a lot of give and take and a lot of feelings of safety in that room. It was maybe the largest production office I've worked in. The tiki bar in the middle of the office, always laid out with cakes or whatever for birthdays.

Eugenie: We were a community. We were a brotherhood. We were a sisterhood. And, that kind of was the way everything was run.

Buckner: One of the writers I remember once, had major surgery and had to come to work in sweats, a really loose fitting stuff. So a lot of the writers showed up in PJs as a-as a sort of show of solidarity. So there's just lots of ways that people supported each other.

Dabb: And I just feel incredibly lucky to have worked with, number one with Bob Singer because I've worked with him for 15 years now. It has been the most rewarding... partnership, mentorship, whatever you want to call it, of my professional life. In terms of being able to learn from him.

Jared: His involvement in the series was so necessary from day one. He can walk on set, look at me, not really saying anything, just give me a face, and I'm like got it. And that's built over time.

Singer: I come in with a plan, but it's not chipped in stone and then, you know, lots of times, you know, the guys would have ideas. Sometimes I would accept them readily. Sometimes, we had to talk about them, but there was always this mutual respect.

Jensen: He has been just this... Yoda character for our show. I call him my confident captain. He's just- he's been- he's been the real compass of this- of the show for so long.

We have come together in times of crisis. We've lost several of our crew members. We lost Yap. We lost Matt Riley. We lost Kim Manners in Season 4.

Singer: Kim was a great guy and a great director. Everybody responded to his talent but also to who he was.

Jared: He used to say, you know, we're not curing cancer, and I spend more time with you than I do my wife, my kids, my dogs. So, if we're not having a good time, then what are we doing?

And so we tried to make sure that we kept it light and that we all realized like hey, we're putting on makeup and playing pretend for a living.

Sheppard: I came into a couple of episodes, with a show that Kim Manners told me I really needed to do someday because I would really enjoy it and I'd love the boys. And he was right. He was absolutely right.

Singer: The hardest part of season four was- was losing Kim. And I think the… the best thing we could say about losing Kim was that we never replaced him. I didn't feel like anyone should have that job other than- than Kim. So, you know, that was hard.

Jensen: I'm not quite sure when the-the phrase was coined, but the SPN family, as the- the fandom is- is lovingly known as. What we are on set as a crew is now reflected in- in what we see as a fandom.

Misha: The SPN family, Supernatural family. I've seen so many instances of people gathering together to go support a Supernatural fan.

Misha: It's so lovely and inspiring and I-I-I honestly, you know, hope that that could serve as a template for how greater society works.

Buckner: When these guys were feeling for each other, or for other characters, or when they were afraid, or, you know, when they loved somebody, it just radiated off the screen, and the fans really picked up on that.

Jared: I know several of the fans personally and care about them deeply. And it's neat to talk about a shared passion. Man, I love Supernatural too. Like, I love the storyline too. I like that episode too. Like let's talk about it.

Jensen: We have this unique situation with our show where we're able to do these fan conventions and we do them quite often and it gives us an opportunity to get in front of a lot of these people and have honest real conversations with them face-to-face. And that's, in my opinion, that's helped shape the show.

Buckner: And this is not just limited to the United States. It's a worldwide thing. I mean, there are these conventions held, you know, everywhere in the world.

Eugenie: The fans are so polite. They're- they're very respectful of each other's appreciation of the same show they appreciate. It's like we're all in this together.

Alex Calvert: I can tell you that the people that I've met and that have been affected by the show and the fans of the show will- will tell you a hundred times over that this is not the end, that this goes on forever.

Singer: They've bonded over this show. And-and have created their own Supernatural family. And have a tremendous respect for what we do, but respect for each other.

Just a motivation of why we wanted to always keep the show going and keep it fresh was not to disappoint the fans. We certainly didn't want to disappoint them, because we didn't want to disappoint family members.

Dabb: There's nothing I won't miss. This has been, creatively speaking, an incredible gift.

Buckner: Just be able to go to work and have that kind of freedom and not dread going into a place.

Jensen: We love the show. We love the story.

We love these characters. We love the- we love the people that we make this show with. I hope and I believe that that translates on camera.

Eugenie: You know, there's always reruns. I'll always be able to see Sam and Dean.

Alex Calvert: I think everybody loves that- that Sam and Dean, you know, can go through hell together literally, and give each other a big hug at the end of it and know that they're gonna be alright because they have each other. I think that's a really beautiful concept of the show.

Singer: That bond is really, I think, you know, the heart and soulless show, and what gave us the longevity that we had.

Misha: I also genuinely hope that the supernatural family is something that carries on past the end of the shooting of the show. I hope we can continue collectively to do good in the world and to set a good example and to be a family to one another.

Jared: Sam and Dean, much like Jared and Jensen, over the course of Supernatural were allowed to add many members to their family, and they would do anything for their family members and vice versa. This world and this journey isn't just about fighting for yourself or fighting for somebody that it'll- it'll benefit you. It's not about the glory. It's about doing what's right and taking care of good people. And I think Supernatural from day one has been able to accomplish that. [Huge thanks to Kira who helped me clean this up!!]

End of the Road Special Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

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eutaerpe · 4 years

Text

maybe you’re the reason

pairing — jungkook x reader, jimin x reader

genre/warnings— college!au, idiot best friends to lovers!au, help jungkook is cute

summary — the most painful love story, aka idiot best friends to lovers.

notes — 2.3k words of the beginning. hope it still is worth your time? lmk ily

before

You faintly hear Jimin slapping Jungkook’s nape, a devilish smirk stuck on his lips.

“Are you actually buying condoms? Our little Kookie?”

A “Fuck off.” comes in response, and you can picture Jungkook scrolling his friend’s arm around him with boredom and too little strength, even though you’re not facing them—you see, there are far important matters in the world in this precise, excruciating moment. You eye the alcohol section with tight lips and a painfully light wallet, mentally doing the math and pondering whether you can actually buy twenty-two cans of beer with your pathetic budget. Perhaps you should abandon the quest altogether and focus on that good old big bottle of vodka in the corner. And chips. God, yes, chips.

“You know,” Jaehwan approaches them, head tilted, “I’ve always thought Kook would turn out to be a real heartthrob. All fucking ripped, full of tattoos and a big dick. The whole package, dude.”

Jimin snickers, clapping his hands. “Hey, never say never. He still has time to bloom.”

“I thought you all knew that my dick is the only big dick in this outrageous friends group, jerks,” Tae emerges in this aisle, drown in a white shirt too large for his small size and wide Bordeaux pants that will end up being the reason why he’ll trip and bring down with him Jimin. Jaehwan too, maybe, if he makes other dick jokes. You can bet on it. “Jimin can confirm it.”

“I can hear you, bastards.” Jungkook punches Taehyung, “And I hope you and your hands have fun for the rest of your life.”

“Ouch,” it’s your turn to chuckle and turn your head around, meeting your friends’ amused smiles, “That hurt.”

You stretch your legs, standing still for the first time after an intense ten-minutes session spent in front of alcohol bottles; placing both of your hands on the back of your shoulders, you make sure to crack them. Fucking finally.

“You might have an answer, then, y/n…”

Taehyung licks his lips, smirking openly. “Is our little Kookie—ah, how can I phrase this? Well, not so little?”

“How would I know?” you roll your eyes, moving towards them, “I’m not planning on seeing any of your dicks soon, thank you very much.”

His eyes sparkle. “But you’re planning to, at some point?”

You can’t help the smirk tugging at the corner of your lips, all stretched out and mischievous. “We’re currently betting on which one of you ends up sending their dick pics to the group chat first, and…” you almost close the distance between your and Tae’s body, “I’ve already bet on you, Kim.”

“Why,” he questions, smiling, “Desperate much to see me naked?”

“Not at all.” You shake off the pretend dust on his wide shoulders, all of this while his breath hitches, “I’m just the most likely to earn a hundred bucks by doing absolutely nothing.”

You pinch his cheeks, while Jungkook sneers, a pack of condom in his hands.

“Now help me grab these fucking beers.”

Despite being the end of July, there’s a calming, quiet breeze that makes you shiver for a second. You look back in the car, hoping to bump into a hoodie of sorts, even though the last time you checked, you didn’t bring one with you. Sucks to be one of the guys, then. You won’t say goodbye to a perfect night out on the beach because of a stupid hoodie, nope.

You hold onto the car door for a while, contemplating whose hoodie you’re gonna steal, when a warm hand brushes your arm and wakes you up from your musing.

“Thanks for earlier,” your soon-to-be buff friend says, voice just as warm as his body, “The guys can be nosy as fuck.”

You nod, slumping on the passenger seat with a sigh. “What’s the matter with buying condoms? At least one of you is having safe sex.”

“Right,” Jungkook grins, “It’s just that—I didn’t tell them?”

“That you’re having sex?”

“Yeah,” he nods, gulping, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Enough to tell them, of course.”

Jungkook palms the wheel, before glancing at you and closing his car door.

“I mean,” you begin, scratching your cheek, “It’s not.”

It’s not unusual of your friend group to have this kind of conversation—the lot of you was painfully open minded and honest it would have never crossed a mind of yours to stray away from topics like this. Like sex. Of course, some of you were the exception. Lisa, to begin with. Jungkook, too. The two of them laughed and smiled when you talked about sex related stuff. Relationship related stuff. But not because they were uncomfortable or… against it, you reckon. They were – are – the kind of people that keeps this to themselves. That doesn’t overshare, even when it comes to their best friends. It was – fine; cool, really, because at the end of the day you know you can count on them the same way they do on you. Any of you.

The thing that throws you off is—the fact that Jeon Jungkook is telling you this. Right now. You’re one of his best friends in the same terms he’s one of yours; that doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t, in the slightest, expecting this kind of conversation. For a trillion reasons.

“But Jungkook,” he looks at you with his doe eyes, “You’ve been dating for, what? Almost a year? We literally caught Chaeyoung blowing you two weeks ago. That wouldn’t surprise us, you know.”

“Yeah, but…” he trails off, eyes focused on the dashboard. “I mean, it doesn’t… it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“What,” you ask, quietly, “What doesn’t?”

“Me engaging in,” he shrugs, shaking his head, “Me having sex.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t. But people love to talk. And it’s your best friends we’re talking about. Of course they’re gonna be bitches and talk about you when you’re not there.”

“Jerks.”

“Horny bastards.”

Jimin closes the back door with strength before throwing himself on the backseats, legs spread, and head thrown back on the headrest. He sighs, passing a hand through his blonde hair.

You look at him with sparkling eyes, fingers fidgeting with the seatbelt.

“I’m not riding with them,” he begins, pointing his chin towards Seokjin’s car, better known as the Kim car, you think, squinting your eyes when the nth Kim person enters the very vehicle. You instantly spot Jennie spitting orange juice on both Taehyung and Jaehwan, and you chuckle at the sight. “Besides, Rosie is riding with you, right? This is my chance.”

“Yeah, hyung,” Jungkook replies, eyeing you with an uneasy expression, “You better make a move.”

“You said Chaeyoung won’t join us, right? So, we can make space for Lisa too. You know, I’ll make sure she’s comfortable with us. There’s gonna be her best friend with us.”

You frown, almost instantly.

Jimin rambling is a sight for sore eyes, especially because the last time you’ve seen him this insecure and giggly, adorable self was when you were thirteen and puberty still hadn’t hit him. At the time, Jimin was just a small guy that knew more about dancing rather than playing soccer or basketball or whatever kids his age were into at the time. He was shy and always pushed his glasses onto his nose and had just gotten a crush – it’s weird seeing him again like that almost a decade later. You’re about to tell him that, yeah, you consider yourself a decent friend for Chaeyoung, but calling yourself her best friend sounds a lot like projecting, anyway—

“And then there’s you,” Jimin says, prodding your shoulder, “It’s gonna be a female filled car. Does it get any more comfortable than that?”

Does it get any more uncomfortable than this?

Jungkook snickers, handing you two CDs. You realize it seconds later, when he’s snapped his fingers in front of your questioning face and has crooked his neck to look at you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

His hand grazes your tight for a flashing instant, so prompt and light you would have missed it if your eyes weren’t looking at the friend on your left, his expression unfazed.

after

“You’re a jerk—” you start in firm protest, shutting altogether when his rough hands cup your clenching jaw. He nudges his nose with yours, pressing his lips against yours in a tentative, subdued challenge. His mouth is hot when you shiver under his timid yet dominant touch; the truth is you’re weak and seconds away from throwing your arms around his shoulders, clutching around his neck and tilting your head to grant him a better access to your mouth. You do that exactly, crumbling under his knowing touch, melting against the softness of his superficially raw affection, and you hate yourself for it.

“Jimin,” you start, when his mouth is on your neck, as he grunts your name against your skin. “I can’t—we can’t.”

“I,” he begins, swallowing a moan, “I cancelled every appointment I had this morning—”

“I’m talking about us.”

He furrows his eyebrows, biting back that hideous comeback of sorts ready on his tongue. There’s no us. What are you talking about. This is not what it looks like. You know all of them like the back of your hands. He’s either said them, voice like venom during heated, comforting nights or wears them on his sleeve. He might be kind, on a vague extent you’re not even sure about right now, but he’s not a liar. Not with you, at least.

Blinking once, you can see perfectly where he stands.

Somehow, even thought you knew, already fucking knew, this is it. This is how your heart shatters.

“We talked about this, though?” he looks for confirmation in your eyes, head tilted.

“Yes,” but that’s not enough, “But I can’t. Not anymore.” You try swallowing the lump in your throat, skin already freezing because of his body no longer on yours.

Jimin lies on your bed like that, half naked and now devoid of his safety net. You’re being an utterly, brave stupid right now: staring at him, the defined muscles you gripped many times before, you realise you’re letting go of someone you love, in a twisted way. A strangled voice in your head reminds you that you’re someone you love, too, and that has to count for something.

It’s worth a try, you think, his lips in a pout, trying to convince you; but, alas. He doesn’t bother, this time. He doesn’t ask you for mercy, doesn’t beg you to understand the situation he’s in. How this isn’t cheating, it’s a pause, she’s driving him crazy, y/n! He doesn’t ask for your time, for your body, for the warmth his supposedly wife-to-be should give him.

He gets up, reaches for his tee.

The silence is heavy on your heart. It’s a chant, now, the you’re doing your best, it had to be done, don’t cry—

He looks unfazed by all of this, grabbing clothes thrown all over the place, recollecting them slowly. He’s undoing his presence, deleting the evidence, reconnecting his pieces.

A part of you wishes for his goodbye, maybe a desperate love admission, but you know him, and if there’s something you’ve learned after all these years with him is that it won’t come out of his mouth.

You’re doing your best, it had to be done, don’t cry—maybe it’ll never come out.

He doesn’t look back: Jimin doesn’t turn around in his final steps towards your door. He reaches quietly for the handle, you can see right through your open bedroom door. Then, he nods to himself instead, waving imaginary goodbyes in his head.

Just like that he’s gone.

“I’m not saying you won’t miss his dick game,” Taehyung scoffs, stealing fries from you. “But, ouch, don’t punch me—I’m saying it had to be done.”

You sigh, playing with the sesame seeds in your plate.

“You know it. A wise side of you knows it, at least. Just because the guy told you nice things while balls deep inside of you it doesn’t mean he ever thought of leaving his fiancée for you. How long has it been, huh?”

“Since,” you scroll your shoulders, “I don’t know? Since they got engaged.”

“My point exactly. He gives her a diamond, they fight, they break up, he fucks you, then goes back to her crying and begging. Rinse and repeat, so many times until the other woman but not-really-because-we’re-on-a-pause---I’m talking about you, darling-- thinks he’s in love with her.”

“I know he’s not, Taehyung.”

“Smart girl,” he steals more from you, “Besides, in a couple weeks we’re going back home.”

“God, don’t remind me.”

He laughs, unlocking his phone. “Why’s that? I thought you were excited to finally go back. ‘S been a while since we spent the whole summer home.”

“Yeah, but that was before all of this. Why do you think I’ve never come back, all these years? I don’t wanna see Jimin showing off his fucking fiancée right in front of my face. My mother’s face. God. It’s gonna be sickening.”

“Huh.”

“Besides,” you begin, hurriedly, “Everybody we know is gonna be there—Lisa, Chaeyoung, Jaehwan… do I need to go on? Shit, Tae. You think anyone else knows?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Shit. I don’t know why I agreed to this. Maybe I can still do something about it. A ticket refund?”

“You so do not want a ticket refund.”

“Hello, idiot? Have you not heard me? Which part of—”

“Shit, Jungkook has abs.”

A pregnant pause. You eye the lukewarm soda on your side.

“I’m—come again, please?”

“Since when he has Instagram? And a whole sleeve tattoo?”

#bts #bts fic #bts fluff #bts fanfic #BTS jungkook #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts scenario #jungkook x reader #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenario

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your-brilliant-lady-m · 3 years

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South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between.

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle.

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there.

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song.

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw.

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music.

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences.

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary:

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common.

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach.

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage?

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system.

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place.

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his.

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires.

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel.

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case.

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations.

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it?

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves.

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder?

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns.

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”.

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable.

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line?

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people.

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons.

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help.

4. Industry, companies and liars

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here.

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense.

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too.

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system.

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous.

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music”

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was”

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much.

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do.

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others.

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something.

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date.

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this.

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music?

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences.

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions.

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does.

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether.

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour.

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl.

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment.

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question.

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness.

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move.

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time!

#k-pop #korean music #k-rock #k-pop idol #k-pop meta #k-pop discussion #k-pop fandom criticism

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gayregis · 4 years

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which characters are trans this is a scientific inquiry

all of them except vilgefortz and leo bonhart

ok ok jokes, ill go more in depth... some of this is taken from things ive written before but not posted. also for anyone reading this im non bee nary so know that im not trying to describe the experiences of different identities in first-person, i’m basing this off of both my own and my friends’ experiences... none of this is “OMG YES CHARACTER ANGST >:))” but rather depicting personal struggles in fictional characters, so just know that the more difficult subjects that may be covered are not there just to see the character in pain, but rather to think about their eventual resilience against it and development afterwards

for geralt and yennefer i have more specific reasons why i think being transgender actually fits with their canonical characters & related story arcs, and then for the rest i have headcanons and maybe some reasoning but not a lot.

geralt: geralt already represents how a struggle with toxic masculinity and expectations of masculinity can influence one who wants to be seen as masculine to deny and bury their emotions. him being trans develops upon the aspect of his struggle with emotions, ive seen my friends who are transmasculine / myself when i used to ID as transmasculine struggle with showing emotions bc of feeling like you’re going to be misgendered if you shed a single tear. in canon, we already learn that kaer morhen has a bit of a macho culture (just fyi eskel and lambert and coen are trans too now, don’t go getting any idea that those guys are cis) and i believe that the “witchers have no emotions” thing is like 5% actual biology and 95% being raised to fight and not to feel. vesemir is a good father but he just wasn’t very emotionally nurturing, it’s the caste’s way of raising kids that geralt breaks out of.

i think geralt’s self-image also speaks a lot to the feelings of harsh internal transphobia. he constantly others himself from others and feels like people view him as different, which is metaphorical for any marginalized group under the sun, but also is very common for lgbt ppl. again this is smth ive really struggled with within the past few years so im just projecting/know what it feels like and feel that how geralt sees himself in canon is similar to a view suffering from internalized transphobia.

geralt's character already redefines manhood because he has to learn what it means to be a good father. and i think him being trans would be representative of his constant learning and growth as a person, yet also somewhat involved with his self loathing and feeling like just Him Existing is an affront ... but of course he unlearns this with time and love from others and all of his character development

yennefer: yennefer’s whole backstory revolves around defining who she is and defying the people who mistreated her and told her she was nothing. canonically yennefer of vengerberg is the story of the successful self-made woman... her life as janka she would rather forget, no one calls her by that name, and no one ever would because its not who she is nor who i think she ever was.

shes incredibly strong-willed and knows what she wanted from life but some things are terrifying to reach out for, like love and acceptance. yennefer has a conflict with love and being loved because that was never a safe topic for her ... (also sapkowski handled this specifically poorly imo, but:) yennefer canonically struggles with being loved for who she is. i think she deals so much with her previous abuse and again, expectations from parents, and coming to terms with the fact that she survived it all. also this isnt even touching upon her arc regarding motherhood. wanting to give a child your everything and everything that you never had... the love and kindness that no one gave you...

ciri: ciri hesitated to ever identify with “girl” or “boy,” she’s also i think the representation of childhood in general, she’s naturally curious about gender presentation as she ages and just never really cares to commit to gender. i think she’d say she was a girl but only reluctantly bc she just doesn’t care much.

dandelion: [from his TV Tropes page:]

he’s an artist and a musician, he’s not gonna be cishet...

ok in a more serious context i think he’s a nonbinary guy, i think him being trans might explain why he has way more friendships than relationships with family members. dandelion, like yennefer, is also someone that had to define who he was for himself, i mean for one his stage persona of dandelion is entirely an artist’s creation/hyperbole of himself, i think he also had to think abt his inner identity too

his gender is also just “your friend that comes to your house and eats all ur chips and drinks all ur beer and passes out on top of you on the couch”

milva: ok unfortunately i currently think milva is the token non-trans friend (she’s nonbinary just doesnt think of herself as trans) but it’s only because her major arc in baptism of fire revolves around her pregnancy and miscarriage and just bc she is not trans doesn’t mean she doesn’t go through her own difficult struggling process surrounding her womanhood. she struggles enormously throughout the series and in her backstory with defining herself between two rigid identities: the feminine maria and the cutthroat milva. in her talk with geralt, she reveals how she feels trapped between these two identities and feels like they cannot coexist. i feel like she’s a nonbinary/gender non-conforming butch* lesbian whose struggles with sexuality intersect her struggles with gender and what it means to her to be a gnc woman. also you have to consider that milva was raised in a small village in lower sodden so she understood gender in the very strict roles ascribed to men and women, so she felt like she couldn’t be a woman unless she was this very traditional idea of what a woman is “supposed to be like,” which she’s both been trying to shape herself to be and also running away from simultaneously. she learns to accept herself within the hansa bc they love and support her for who she is, and she doesn’t need to be strictly feminine or masculine to be understood by them

* i know the terms nonbinary and gnc and butch didn’t exist in the 1260s tyvm, i’m just saying this as how i interpret her in a modern context

regis: gender is a human sociological construct so basically don’t ask him unless you’re prepared to listen for 20 minutes. vampires can exist noncorporeally so they can exist without gender, also i hc the telepathic vampiric language is nongendered as it’s a transmission of pure thought, will, and force, so it doesn’t even use any grammar. i also hc that vampires just appear the way they feel in terms of appearance and age (e.g., regis at around 300 when he died still looked 25 bc he was as stupid as a 25 year old, now he’s calmer and understands more, so he looks middle-aged). when chilling out with humans regis will be referred to as a man bc that’s just how he appears but it’s an identity he had to learn about and adopt, not something he was assigned. most vampires look androgynous anyways bc they just feel androgynous, how are you gonna feel a gender when you don’t know what a gender is... if you HAD to understand him with human labels / put it in a modern context (like if i was making an modern real life AU) i’d say he’s a nonbinary trans man.

cahir: much like geralt i think cahir’s story is one of living up to expectations, but cahir’s actually takes it a step further because his major motivation in his backstory is trying to prove to his mother that he can be a good son that will make her proud and gain honor for the family... he seeks validation from external sources but faces ruin when he learns that war is not the way to prove one’s prowess and skill

angouleme: shes trans and i simply say so bc shes very cool and funny and i dont think a cis person could be this cool and funny. also i think the story of a runaway teen who was abandoned by her biological family and found solace in a new family is both very good and featured in a lot of trans ppl’s narratives. she kind of exudes this “im finally at a point in my life where i’m safe and cared for, i can start HRT now, let’s gooOOoooOOooo” energy.

#ask #dandeliyn #the witcher #hansa

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texanredrose · 4 years

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Since it was the first of your stories I found, I would love to see the director's commentary on "Omega's Strength" if you're willing.

Yo, Omega’s Strength is definitely a passion project (that’s nearing completion!) that I love with all my heart. I’m almost to the scene that sparked the whole story and I genuinely can’t wait, the anticipation is killing me!

Aside from being extremely self indulgent, Omega’s Strength is the first time I’ve actively re-written the rules of something established. Sure, I love my AUs, but when it’s an AU of my own design, I can make my own rules. Omegaverse AUs, on the other hand, are almost defined by the fact they all use the same rules. Most of which, I hate, because they’re stupid. So, I decided to make my own AU of an AU to incorporate elements I actually wanted to see- using heat and scent marking and such in a positive, conscious way rather than... well... the borderline-not-consent way most stories use them.

This is arguably one of the stories I put Yang through the most shit. It focuses heavily on Yang’s poor state of mind and self image following the amputation of her arm and really dwells on it, for the purpose of showing how to overcome it. That’s the main thing about Omega’s Strength that I don’t think gets mentioned enough; yeah, I put Yang through shit, and her bad headspace allows her to make some bad decisions, and she hurts herself almost as much as the events she goes through hurt her. However, through the course of the story, she gets stronger. She picks herself up, puts herself back together- and that’s a big thing for me. It’s not someone else fixing her. It’s not someone else making everything okay. It’s Yang reaching her lowest, realizing it, and saying ‘fuck this’, and then clawing her way out. She has her friends and family for support, sure. She can lean on them when she needs to, even when she’s being too stubborn to ask for help. But, she’s the one being proactive and taking the steps she needs to heal. Confronting herself, her situation, her reality. Gritting her teeth and doing the work to get back to a better state of mind. Rediscovering her confidence.

There’s a companion piece to Omega’s Strength that I’m working on as well, told from Winter’s POV, which is something I generally don’t do for my fics. Offhand, I’ve only done this one other time with Monochrome, and fairly recently; once I’ve told a story from one perspective, I typically don’t revisit the same events. For this one, though, I feel like I have to, because Omega’s Strength, for all the angst, only tells a small fraction of the story. It’s taking a world spanning trek to save the people of Remnant and giving the reader only one set of eyes to see it through. It’s limiting- which works, in some respects, to amplify the drama, because all the events are only examined in how they affect Yang- but it leaves a lot unsaid. We see how Yang interprets Winter’s actions and intentions, but not how Winter intended them to be taken, so I look forward to finishing the story, and then releasing Winter’s side of things. I’ve often said that, for all that Yang suffers through the story, Winter suffers just as much, it’s just not shown. While the saying goes “show, don’t tell” sometimes not showing everything and not telling everything ends up painting a much more interesting picture in the long run. Stories like Omega’s Strength are more akin to puzzles, each piece of which an agonizing journey to find and fit together, but when you step back and see the whole picture... it’s something else.

This is also one of the few fics where I incorporate a ton of OCs. Amusingly enough, Terry Cotta (the first of their name) and their team was designed back in V2 as a direct response to someone else claiming there was only one way to make an OC team in RWBY. Long story short, the person claimed that the team ‘motif’ shouldn’t be decided until the end, after character creation. So I said ‘fuck that’, picked two motifs to blend together, and created the characters that way. Terry Cotta, Dal Semper, Aegean Forecastle, Rudy Cirrus, and one as of yet unintroduced character draw their inspiration from the five branches of the American Military (also, fuck, now I have to make a sixth for the dumbass space forces, good grief) and five branches of emergency services. Terry Cotta, of course, represent the Army and Police, that’s where they get their name, and why they’re both Winter’s best friend and her worst enemy, depending on the AU (I might fall into both categories myself but I’m also highly critical of my chosen professions). Dal Semper represents the Marines and Firefighters, which is why she’s characterized as being stubborn, direct, and hotheaded. Aegean Forecastle is the Navy and EMTs/Paramedics, which is why he’s the polar opposite to Dal and often watching her back. Rudy represents the Air Force and Search and Rescue, specifically mountain rescues, which informs his quiet but dependable nature. The last member of the team represent the Coast Guard and Dispatchers and as the Coast Guard is often neglected when talking about the branches of the military while Dispatchers are often forgotten in terms of emergency services, she’s often in the background getting shit done rather than on the front lines with the others. Together, they form Team TARDIs (which I admittedly offered as a cheeky joke to piss off the person mentioned earlier) but formally named the Atlas Rapid Response Team, or ARRT for short, keeping the color themed naming convention intact. Because of what they represent, I’ve always headcanoned that ARRT would be opposing Team RWBY in some way, because they represent organizations that should benefit the public, but can be misused to the public’s detriment, and I always wanted that to be a recurring theme with the characters. It’s why Terry’s such a little shit in almost every incarnation, whether they’re allied with Winter or not. Terry- and the rest of their team- ultimately has the best of intentions but not so great execution, and it entirely depends on who they’re following. When they follow Ironwood, they get used to devastating results, but when they follow Winter/Team RWBY, they’re much more helpful.

On the other hand, there’s Team SNOW. They are as much a result of me being cheeky as me interpreting the color rule to its logical extreme. Stryker, for instance, has a predominantly predominantly black and white color scheme. This isn’t because she’s from Atlas; it’s because she’s a soccer ball. Her name makes me think of soccer (football, for you non-American folks), and that makes me think of the black and white balls used for matches. Nigel? Makes me think of Nigel Thornberry and his ridiculous orange mustache, which is why he’s Inexplicably British(tm). Oswald? Makes me think of that one otter Pokemon, which is predominantly blue. Wisteria? A running joke in some of my other Elderburn fics, a rejected name for Winter and Yang’s kids because Yang wants to follow the ‘W’ naming rule but Winter doesn’t. Ergo, makes me think of white and yellow and blue and purple and all the other colors associated with Winter and Yang. There’s a lot of ways to read ‘evocative of color’, and I took it to its furthest possible conclusion, not just literal translations but more of a word association exercise.

Also, yes, I hate Stryker with a passion. Is it because I used to be a goalie? Possibly.

#TRR asks

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60b3r · 4 years

Text

Memes Kill Creativity?

Memes vs. Genes

In the 1976 book The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins coined the term 'meme' to describe something with symbolic meaning that spreads by imitation from person to person within a culture. This idea is an analogue to the nature of selfish gene, described similarly as a piece of genetic material possessing information required to be able to replicate themselves inside a living. The only key difference in both terms is that the gene is natural, while memes are artificial. The rest of memes' operating schemes completely mimic the genes perfectly. In our current timeline, memes as we know today are taking many forms: as image macros, short videos, and rick-rollicking music. Memes in imageboards and forums have been pushing internet porn traffic into a stalemate and putting our power grid into unnecessary burden. Of course, memes are not to be regretted, but otherwise need to be taken seriously, since they are able to put our current understanding of media industry and economic system into shame.

As with every other thing that have existed, memes are not exempt in its dualistic nature. If you ever venture to the depths of dark web, you may know that memes also took part in the infamous mimetic Tumblr-4chan War. Not only that, some memes are reportedly causing harm towards some users, even though it is often disguised or said to be a dank joke or mere sarcasm. Memes have seen its share of use in online bullying, mass shootings, and hate crimes, cowering behind the freedom of expression tag. Regardless, memes are also an extremely effective form of information transmission. Like all living systems with no set moral standards, memes do evolve and are subject to natural selection. Memes, like genes, actually work like a mindless machine. Again, this is eerily like the performance of DNA in living systems. The last thing we want from this thing is virulence.

Every day, something went viral on Twitter. Hashtags are flaring into the top trends, some videos are being watched billions of times, and another cat vs. cucumber pic garnered thousands of likes. Viral properties of a virus (duh) is defined as the capability to multiply quickly in relatively short amount of time. The term saw a huge increase in usage during the dawn of the internet age and the rise of computer malwares spread through unsecured ports of network protocol. This term is being applied to memes, as it is like a virus (which is a pure embodiment of a selfish gene). Now, a lot of people are utilizing memes to create art, because it enables them to cater the short-attention spans of current internet users. They create shorts, illustrations, inside jokes, and small comic strips. Some of you might not agree with me on this one, but stay with me now and I will explain to you why I would like to treat memes and art as a single unit of interest in this argument.

The dawn of meme-technology

Viral memes and their popularity are now often considered important in defining a time period in the internet culture. Now every netizen can somewhat distinguish the approximate age, sex, and political views of other users from the usage of rage comics, meme songs, and meme platforms they use. Intuitively we can make a generalized difference between the userbase of Reddit, 4chan, 9gag, Vine, and now Tiktok. Others, by the share of relatability with sub-genres of different areas of interest (film memes and game memes). Some others, even, in the perspectives of different social and economic class system (first world problems and third world success memes). Meme preferences to us netizens are ironically giving away our anonymous identity. Identity which the media companies are vying to get their hands on. That's where I would like to come into my opening argument: both memes and genes which originally possesses no intrinsic value, suddenly become a subject of value with technology.

How do we draw the logic, I say? The ones and zeros inside electrical systems are value-free, so does DNA in living cells. As we meddle ourselves with biotechnology to manipulate genetic material for profit, we also simmer ourselves in the computer sciences and tweak physical computation to perform better. We give value in the inanimate object by manipulating them. In our world, we often heard these expressions: that communication is key, sometimes silence is golden, and those who control the information wields the power. What’s these three statements have in common? Yes, information and expression. Memes are the simplest form of both. This is the beginning of the logic: memes are no longer in and on itself independent of external values. The infusion of utilitarian properties in memes as artificial constructs are seemingly inevitable, and for the better or worse shapes our current society.

We might have heard that somewhere somehow, the so called ‘global elites’ with their power and wealth are constantly controlling biotech research and information technology—or, in the contrary, they control these knowledge and resources to keep shovelling money and consolidate their power. Memes are one of their tools to ‘steer’ the world according to their 'progressive agenda', seemingly driving the world ‘forward’ towards innovation and openness. Nah, I am just joking. But, stay with me now. It is actually not them (the so-called global elites) who you should be worried about. It is us—you and I, ourselves—and our own way of unwittingly enjoying memes that are both toxic and fuelling the age-old capitalism. Funny, isn't it? We blame society, but we are society. But how are be becoming the culprits yet also be the prey at the same time?

Middle-class artists are hurt

Now, aggressive marketing tactics using memes are soaring. Media companies are no doubt cashing in the internet and viral memes to their own benefit. Streaming and cataloguing are putting up a good fight compared to their retail, classic ways of content delivery. This is quite true with the strategies of Spotify and YouTube, other media companies alike. They can secure rights to provide high-quality content from big time artists and filmmakers and target these works directly to the end consumer, effectively cutting the cost of distribution which usually goes to the several layers of distribution line like vinyl products, radio contracts, and Blu-ray DVDs. I believe this is good, since it is like an affirmative action for amateur artists to start a career in the art industry. Or is it? Does it really encourage small-time artists to begin? Yes. How about the middle-class artists? Not necessarily.

You might sometimes wonder, “how the hell did I get somewhere just by following the trending or hot section in the feed?”. This toxicity of memes often brings some bad things to our tables. Social media algorithms handle contents (like viral memes) by putting those with high views or likes to the front page, effectively ‘promoting’ the already popular post and creating a positive feedback cycle. By doing so, they could capitalize on ad profits on just few ‘quality’ contents over huge amounts of audience in a very short amount of time. The problem is most of the time, these ‘quality’ contents have no quality at all. They just happen to possess the correct formula to be viral, with the correct SEO keywords and click-bait titles with no real leverage in the art movement. This way, I often find both the talented and the lucky—of which the boundaries between them are always blurred—overshadow the aspiring ‘middle-class’ artists who work hard to perfect their craft.

If you are already a famous guitarist with large fanbase, lucky you, you are almost guaranteed to top the billboards. What, you have no skills? Post a video of you playing ‘air guitar’ and… affirmative actions to the rescue. Keep on riding the hype wave and suddenly you get to top trending with minimal effort, thanks to your weird haircut. Those haters will surely make a meme out of your silly haircut, not even your non-existent guitar skills. But still, hype is still a hype, and there’s no such thing as a bad publication. This also answers why simple account who reposts other people’s content could get much more followers than the hard-working creators. Not only being outperformed by the already famous artists taking social media by storm, now the ‘middle-class’ artists are also dealing with widespread content theft and repost accounts because of the unfair, bot grading system. It is unimaginable how many nobodies got the spotlight they don’t deserve just because they look or act stupid and the whole internet cheers around them. Remember, this is not always about the artist, but also the quality of the art itself. I believe a good art should be meaningful to the beholder.

Why capitalism kills creativity

The problem in current art industry is that we are feeling exhausted with the same, generic, and recycled stuff. We indeed already see there’s less discourse about art now. Sure, the problem lies not in the artist or medium, but is in the viewers—the consumer of the art form—and how the capitalist system reacts to it. The hyper efficient capitalist system doesn’t want to waste any more time and money trying to figure out what’s new or what’s next for you. What we love to see, what is familiar to us, the market delivers them. The rise of viral memes phenomenon in the social media pushes the market system to the point where they demand artists to create the same, redundant, easy art form. Listen to some of The Chainsmokers’ work and we'll see what music have become: the identical 4-chord progression, the same drop, the predictable riser, and the absence of meaningful lyrics. We sat down and watch over the same superhero movies trying hard to be the next Marvel blockbuster. The production companies are also happy not to pay writers extra to come up with new ideas and instead settle with borrowed old scripts from decades old TV drama. Disney's The Lion King and its heavy use of the earlier Japanese Kimba The White Lion storyline is one guilty example.

Despite it initially being an economic system and not a political ideology, it is untrue that many Marxist philosophers usher the suppression of art. While it is ironic that Stalinist policy intends to curb ‘counter-revolutionaries’—in this case his enemies—by limiting freedom of press and media; American propaganda added further so that it seems that the ideology is also limiting art and kill creativity. We all know the Red Scare in the U.S. during the Cold War saw a popular narrative of communism and socialism that is devoid of freedom of expression. This state propaganda then further become ‘dehumanization’ and make freedom of expression invalid under the guise of equality. Marx argue that total equality is not possible, and the uniqueness is being celebrated by having them doing what they do best and provide the best for their community. Thus, an individual's interests should be indistinguishable from the society's interest. Freedom is granted when the whole society is likely to benefit from an action. According to Mao in his Little Red Book, freedom of expression in art and literature, after all, is what initially drive the class consciousness. It is capitalism, not communism, that kills creativity.

If left unchecked, the threat of this feedback loop is going to cause a lack of diversity, resulting in stale content, less art critique, and overall decline in our artistic senses. Artists’ creativity that are supposedly protected by the free internet are destroyed within itself through the sheer overuse of viral memes. Capitalism has successfully turned the supposedly open, free-for-all, value-free platform that is the internet against the people into a media in which they are undeniably shaping new values on its own: the art culture that's not geared towards aesthetics and appreciation, but towards more views and personalized clicks. How social media and media industry caters to the demands of the consumer are, in Marx's own words, “digging its own grave”.

Spare nothing, not even the nostalgia

Well, people romanticize the oldies. The good old days, when everything is seen as better and easier. Look at the new art installations that uses the aesthetics of naughty 90s graphic design to become new, the posters released in this decade but with an art deco of the egregious 80s pop artist Andy Warhol, or the special agent-spy movies set frozen in the Nifty Fifties. Nostalgia offers us a way to escape from the hectic choices of our contemporary: different genres of music, dozens of movies to watch, and different fashion to consider. We choose to settle with our old habits, that we know just works. Remember how do we throw our money on sequels and reboots and remakes of old movies we used to watch during our younger days? We don’t even care about new releases at the cinema! Did you remember how Transformers 2 and their subsequent sequels perform at the box office at their opening week?

The huge sales of figurines and toys of Star Wars franchise—if we could scrutinize them enough—came from the old loyal fanbase of the late Lucasfilm series, not primarily from new viewers. Then suddenly, surprise-surprise. Our love for an old franchise deemed dead enough to be remembered and treasure soon must be destroyed to pave way for three new outrageous sequels (the ones with Kylo Ren and Snoke) by the grace of our beloved capitalism. Sadly, nothing is left untouched by the capitalism’s unforgiving corruption. Nostalgia has become a gimmick that makes people like some art more than they should, because it’s familiar. It is another way of squeezing your pocket dry.

Not that it is bad to make derivatives like covers or remixes, but the trade-offs are far too high. Consequentially, the number of original arts is now very little, because artists don’t bother making new stuff if they just aim for a quick buck. Most of the young adult novels are essentially the same lazy story progression with only different time setting and different character names. Most of them even have the same ending! No more a beautiful journey like the thrillers of Dan Brown or the epic adventures of Tolkien’s Lord of The Rings, which defines their respective times. Do we seriously want to consider Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey as a unique work? Isn’t the Hunger Games and the Maze Runner essentially the same?

If you play video games, you must have known that the trend always starts over. Game developers are making gazillions of sequels, and only a few of them that are actually good. Most are outright trash. Oh, wait, old video games like Homeworld are also getting remasters to cater the demand of nostalgic consumers. No new Command and Conquer release from EA Games? Re-release the 25 years old Red Alert because people will re-buy it! Profit!

15 June 2020 8.03 PM

#essay #writing #exposition #meme #art #capitalism

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slideseok · 5 years

Text

but if it’s you (a.)

↳ Pairing: choi san x reader

↳ Warnings: angsttttt, it’s only sort of fluffy in the beginning and then boom,,,, angst

↳ Word Count: 1.8k+

↳ NOTE: this is another part of the angst ATEEZ soulmate au series that I’m doing. I meant to post the Wooyoung one but this one just popped into my head and I wrote it in a day so,,, enjoy!

He never meant to fall in love with you.

It wasn’t something that really happened all at once. His feelings sort of just all fell into place.

San first realized he was in love with you the day he brought you home and you didn’t laugh at his bed full of stuffed animals.

You did the exact opposite when you walked into his room, arms full of notebooks and your physics textbook, and turned to him completely serious before telling him, “I’m going to need you to hold me back or else I’m jumping on your bed as soon as I can put my stuff down.”

San only stared at you incredulously before bursting out in loud laughter. He’d half expected you to make some slick comment about how he was ‘too old for stuffed animals’. But your response was one that almost made him cry, he was laughing so hard.

He’d met you at the beginning of the semester, sitting together in the back of the class at the top. As your professor started over the syllabus, you’d both bonded over the fact that neither of you had met your soulmates yet and the fact that the girl three rows in front of you still had the store tag hanging off her shoulder.

By college, it was common for a person to have met their soulmate.

Most pairs were born with matching tattoos that could be anything in the world. San had once known a boy in middle school who had a tattoo of a palm tree going up the entire length of his arm. Or soulmate pairs are born with a string of words printed on the inside of their arm. These words were usually the first words that each soulmate said to each other.

Both San and you had supposedly been born with the latter and had yet to meet your respective soul match.

Not that that bothered either of you.

As the year flew by, lunches were spent together sitting outside under trees as you laughed at each other’s friends while sharing a bag of doritos. Weekends were spent alternating between houses or at the park where you threw bread for the ducks and giggled with each other.

Slowly but surely, you were falling in love with each other.

It didn’t seem to matter that you each had a string of words on your arms. You weren’t going to let one sentence define who you fell in love with. It was normal for most kids to meet their soulmate by the time they were eighteen, yet here you both were in your early twenties.

San wasn’t torn up about it. How could he when he had you.

You who didn’t laugh at his unhealthy amount of plushies. Who always shared your textbooks when he forgot his own (which was often). Who laughed at his cheesy jokes no matter what.

Yes. San was completely and totally in love with you.

And you were of course completely and totally in love with him.

And that was okay.

Luckily for the both of you, San was an upfront and blunt kind of guy. So it didn’t take long before he was spilling his guts about his feelings to you.

And from there, the relationship blossomed.

Just regular meetups at the park turned into dates where you both spent sharing kisses and starry-eyed gazes that had anyone blushing and looking away. Your weekends became filled with outings at the skating rink or just quietly sharing a book in a deserted part of the campus library.

Of course you both got odd looks. You were both grouped into the small category of people who didn’t have a soulmate. So seeing the two of you together on campus, completely in love, raised more than a few eyebrows.

And your parents were a different story all together. At first, your father was a little wary of San. Any dad would be when meeting the love of their daughter’s life. But he soon to like him. Both he and your mother had figured you’d given up on ever finding your soulmate, so they thought that it was good for you to finally have someone in your life that treated you as you should be. Soon enough, the printed words on your bodies were forgotten and life moved on.

At the end of second semester, San asked you to move in with him.

Which started a whole new series of apartment hunts that were close enough to the campus yet far away enough to not be seen by any of the nosy classmates who always felt that it was necessary to poke their business into your lives.

Eventually, you both settled on one a couple blocks from the school and that was still close to the park you both frequented.

It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was luxurious enough for two broke college kids in love.

Life was good for the two of you. It was absolutely perfect.

Until fate decided to shatter the little bubble you’d built around yourselves.

It started out as an innocent day. You'd both woken up, you fixing breakfast as San took a shower as usual.

It was an off day for you, classes not starting till later in the day. So you kissed San on his way out, promising to meet him at the campus cafe for lunch as you set about cleaning out the bathroom cabinet that you’d kept putting off.

Finally taking a break, you’d stopped and gotten dressed after a quick shower.

The walk to the cafe wasn’t long. It was sort of in the middle of the way from the campus to your apartment, so it took no time to get there.

Beating San, you ordered both of you your drinks and settled into the booth towards the back. It had a clear view of the door, so you’d be able to spot him when he came in and it was also in the area you both liked to sit in for people-watching.

Being a little late, it took only a couple of minutes before San appeared. His slightly tired look disappearing altogether as soon as he spotted you. The bright smile you gave him was one that never failed to send his heart into overdrive.

You both talked about your days so far. He ranted about the annoying boy who always made loud jokes in his calculus class. The giggle you gave as he tried imitating the boy’s ‘dolphin laugh’ had blush dusting his cheeks as he couldn’t help but watch you fondly.

You were absolutely beautiful in a pair of leggings and one of his huge hoodies that swallowed you whole. The cafe lighting lit up your eyes and made them sparkle as you listened intently to whatever he was talking about at the time, no matter how stupid.

Eventually, the time came where you both had to part ways.

San gathered up his things for his next class as he watched you throw away the cups and you both headed to the door.

Outside, he hugged you. Arms wrapping around your waist as you threw your own over his shoulders. Pressing his forehead with yours, he couldn’t help but grin as your cheeks darkened at the close proximity. He only grinned even harder after placing a small kiss on your lips.

“I love you,” you told him, voice small.

“I love you more,” San didn’t miss a beat replying as he pulled back and let his hands drop.

You snorted before checking your watch.

“Yeah right. You better get going or you’ll be late. I’ll see you later, lovely.”

San pauses, quickly brushing aside the weirdly familiar words before waving after you as you started walking away.

“Bye babe. I’ll come pick you up and we can walk to physics together.”

The thumbs up you shot over your shoulder assured him that you heard as he headed back to the university.

Making it to campus, he only had a couple minutes before class started as he rushed down the path that lead to his chem class.

Barely missing crashing into someone else on the path, San stumbled to get out of the way, completely missing the slight tingling on the inside of his arm as he rushed out an apology and continued with his half-run half-walk to get there on time.

With only a couple seconds to spare, he finally slides into his seat as he settles in for the next, long, two hour class he’d stupidly signed up for.

It’s thirty minutes in. San was in the middle of writing down notes that he barely heard his name being called.

Looking up, whispers spread throughout the class at the two grim-looking police officers standing in the doorway.

Grimacing at all the eyes, he quickly gathered his stuff, barely making it down the stairs without tripping on a stray book sack before reaching the door.

“You Choi San,” one of them gruffly asks.

He only has time to nod his head before they’re heading out of the room and down the hall, leaving him to trail after them.

And while they were both gruff and hadn’t said any other word to him, he still caught the glance exchanged between the two and the pitying look the other shot him on their way out.

At last, they reach an empty classroom, in which they pull him into and tell him that it would be best if he sat down.

Then they’re forced to tell him, that the girl he’d only just seen less than forty minutes ago had been in an accident and had been hit by an oncoming vehicle.

The officers watch on as he crumbles into himself. It takes a second as their words settle in, but then he’s out of the chair, insistent.

“It can’t be!”

“I just saw her almost an hour ago,”

“You have the wrong girl, she was just-,”

And San is forced to come to terms that the girl he had been oh so in love with, is dead.

He leaves school early, dragging his feet with tears in his eyes. The whole way back he can’t help but pause at every four-way and wonder if your body had laid there lifelessly just thirty minutes before.

It isn’t until he goes to bed that night, face puffy, changing into the one hoodie you loved to steal the most from him that he sees it.

The sentence that used to be printed in clear, black ink on his arm is no more.

In its place, is a long, thin white scar that stretches just from his elbow to his wrist.

“Where the words written on the inside of your arm are the last ones your soulmate will ever say to you.

Masterlist.

#choi san #choi san imagine #choi san imagines #choi san x reader #san x reader #san imagines #ateez san #ateez x reader #ateez imagine #ateez angst #kpop angst #kpop imagine #soulmate au

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blueseasfanfics · 5 years

Note

Hellooo! Could you write 12 with Sherlock?? I would like to see a cute one with him ⚘

Murders of Passion

Pairing: Sherlock X Reader

Word Count: 2889

A/N: Sorry if it’s a bit too long, got the slightest bit carried away, lol

You only moved in because Mrs. Hudson and John pleaded and you were desperate.

“Is that really all you have, dear?” Mrs. Hudson met you at the door with a smile, referring to the backpack slung over your shoulder.

“Well, yeah I had to leave early-”

“Let’s get you all set up then, it’s a small room but John had always spent most of the time in Sherlocks’ anyways.” Mrs. Hudson was basically dragging you up the stairs with a vice grip on your wrist, as if to keep you from running out the door.

Before you knew it, you were outside a door with the screeching of an animal being heard inside.

“Oh, he’s in a bit of a mood.” Mrs. Hudson tuts next to you as she knocks on the door briskly.

“Sherlock? I’m coming in.” She declares and pushes the door open, but before either of you can say a thing before a gun is pointed at you and the sound of it cocking rings through the air.

“Sherlock!” Mrs. Hudson almost screams, but he simply tuts and shoots above the both of your heads and hits the doorframe. Mrs. Hudson scurries away shouting about insanity, and you both watch her as she leaves.

You turn away to see the man you guess to be Sherlock Holmes has thrown the gun haphazardly on the sofa next to him and has gone back to playing the violin.

Well, more like sawing at the strings with the bow.

“Do I have wood-dust in my hair?” You say, walking in and looking at yourself in the entryway mirror.

“Shut up.”

“You’re treating that violin like you’re garroting it.”

“Who even are you, exactly?” You watch him suddenly stop playing and whirl over to face you, and your eyes connect in the mirror.

“I’m your new room-”

“Not new to London but used to spend much time in the countryside, used to have a cat but no time soon, left quickly but not out of eagerness, and you particularly like the color blue. Now was it John or Hudson that told you you have to babysit me.” He has been steadily advancing towards you until he towers over you, still locking eyes in the mirror.

Glancing over yourself in curiosity, you stay silent.

“It was both.” He says lowly, and goes back to the violin, picking it up again and settling it against his chin.

“I’ve never spent time in the countryside.” You say succinctly, adjusting your bag. “There are other reasons I’m comfortable around guns. I guess you’ll have that to figure out.”

You turn back around to see Sherlock is frozen with the bow set on the strings, clearly listening.

“The rest is amazing though, I just have to find out how you knew.”

“You don’t wish to ask? Say ‘that’s so fascinating, am I that easy to read?’.” Sherlock mocks slightly.

“No, I know enough about you for that. Bedroom in the back?”

“No.”

“I’ll make some tea in a minute.”

Sherlock continues playing the violin as you walk away, if a bit more melodic than before but that could simply be the distance.

You set your bag down, looked over the room, and left just as quickly.

Sherlock has stopped playing now, sitting crouched on the armchair facing out the window in eerie stillness.

The famous Sherlock Holmes looks like a statue, but that comparison had been made already in dozens of papers and blogs. The famous Sherlock Holmes, as beautiful as a statue with a heart of stone to go with it.

Maybe just the heart of stone part was in the papers.

You look around the dismal kitchen, pour an old eye-and-tea in the trash, and make a tea for the bored genius mind.

“Do you have a case?” Asked innocently but it didn’t require a response. The broken string on the violin was clue enough of that.

He had been like this for weeks now, the only times you two talked were when clients came in and he begrudgingly (with a hint of pride and drama) told you how he solved them in a manic rant.

“Could I see it?” You bring him a cup of tea, but he still doesn’t move. Looking around him, you see papers scattered everywhere, photos and scraps of notes tossed around in no particular order.

Unless of course, the order has a mind of its own.

A photo of a man and a woman, holding hands, stabbed in the heart. In fact, photos. Couples, of every gender and race known to man, dead and holding hands. In alleyways, sitting atop couch seats in living rooms, two even seem to be in a basket in the London Eye.

Nothing to do with each other except for love.

The one closest to you piqued your interest, and picking it up your eyes settled on the defining feature of each photo. Their hands.

“They’re stitched together.” You say quietly, and that seems to have thrown Sherlock out of his trance because he snatches the photo out of your hand.

“Of course they were, it’s the first thing one sees.”

“Why are they stitched together?”

“Murder mark. Sign of the killer, stitches them together as a show of their love or whatever John stupidly said.”

“Stupidly? Do you have any better idea?”

“No need for one, stupid ideas fit well with stupid people. What I don’t know is, how they are all connected.” He jumps out of his chair now, grabbing all the photos together.

“Well, they’re all connected by hand.”

“Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“Wasn’t it funny.”

He paused.

“Yes.” And continued on his tirade, grabbing push pins and stabbing them into his wall, stepping back and glaring at them. You waltz up to his side, also looking.

“Are they connected by their job?”

“No, none worked under the same employer.” He mutters, and you wonder if he registers you as another person at this point.

“Family?”

“Not even a distant cousin.”

“Social life?”

“Haven’t found any mention of connected friends in any way.”

“Forget about that, how did they meet each other?”

Silence for barely a millisecond, and then he whirls around to look down at you.

“Who are you again?”

“Your new roommate. John and Hudson approved.”

“And you have been put here to-”

“Babysit you was the term you used, to have a place to sleep is mine.”

“Hmm. And what exactly is your line of work.”

“Babysitting you.”

The corners of his mouth twitch and he turns back around to the photos, but glancing down at you.

“How do you think they all met.”

“What? How am I supposed to know.”

“You obviously noticed something, you were the one that said it. Come on, look in that little brain of yours.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just do it.”

You grumble but examine the photos more closely anyway.

Each couple had their hands stitched together, hastily but still bonded. Normal dress, if a bit more skimpy on everyone, hair down when they had it and most lipstick smudged. The shoes were-wait.

“They met at parties, didn’t they?” You whisper.

“Explain it.”

“Well, her shoes are off and gone. She’s barefoot, but her feet aren’t that dirty. She must have taken them off because they were hurting her after a long night out. It explains everyone’s clothing too, party clothing.” You look up at Sherlock, who’s grinning.

“You have somewhere to be tonight?”

—

“My first night living with you and we’re already on a date.”

“This isn’t a date.”

The both of you are sitting in the back of a taxi-cab, driving to some party Sherlock said his contact told him about.

“You do know most people don’t go to a party in a tuzedo.” You remark, looking him up and down.

“They don’t? Aren’t parties formal?” He furrows a brow and looks over himself.

“No. Didn’t you notice what the men were wearing? Take off the suit and the bowtie.”

“Are you asking me to strip in the back of a taxi?”

“I said the suit, not the shirt.” He grumbles as he obliges.

“Better now?” He says, almost mockingly, but you ignore him as you reach over and unbutton his top button, hand resting on his neck for just a moment.

Silent, he watches you as you look over him and shrug.

“Good enough.”

The rest of the ride is silent until you pull up to your location, a street away from the actual party.

“Why exactly are we so far away again?” You sigh, hugging yourself against the cold.

“They seemed to be fond of each other in every couple. Not like two people in a long relationship together, they were new and all over themselves. If we want to be targeted, we have to go in separately.”

“So I’m just supposed to go in, mingle for a little while, and then what.”

“Come up to me and chat me up.”

“Chat you up? Someone has an ego, doesn’t he.”

“What, would you rather be chatted up?”

“No, not really.” You scoff.

“Good then. Run along. I’ll see you in a minute.”

“You better.” You stalk off in the almost deserted neighbourhood, finally coming up on a building with barely contained noise inside. Stepping past a couple of smokers, you push open the doors to be affronted by a wall of loud music, stomping, and yelling.

Lights of all colors came from every direction, and there seemed to be a huddle of people around a corner of the place. Bar, imaginably.

This was the most cliche party you had ever been to.

You walked in, smiling at a few people, making your way to the bar somehow. Next to you, a woman started talking to you and as you strained to hear her you noticed Sherlock walking in and looking around seriously.

He looked out of place, with lights illuminating his face, but you couldn’t tear your eyes from him for a moment until he notices you staring at him.

He jerks his head to the side and breaks eye contact, and you listen again to the woman (apparently newly single and named Olivia) who was now pulling you to the dance floor.

You were supposed to mingle, weren’t you? You quickly oblige, losing yourself slowly into the dance, Olivia sticking very close by you the whole time.

Time. How long had it been? There had been quite a few songs since you started, it was probably time to find Sherlock-

“Hello there.” You hear a deep voice right next to your ear and you fight back the flutter you feel in your chest.

You whirl around and immediately see Sherlock pressed against you by the overbearing crowd and you quickly gather yourself.

“Hello.” You yell back, and Olivia seems to have noticed you not next to her anymore as she has made her way over to you.

“Care for a dance?” Sherlock asks, catching hold of your wrist and pulling you closer, and you smile suspiciously.

“Actually she’s with someone!” Olivia yells, and you laugh it off.

“It’s fine Olivia, I’ll see you soon alright?” You shout back and Sherlock quickly pulls you away to another part of the crowd.

“Do you even know how to dance?” You shout and he scoffs.

“Of course I do.”

“Well, this doesn’t seem much like a waltz and you have your hand on my waist.”

Sherlock quickly drops his hand and coughs.

“We can’t just stand here in the middle of the dance floor.” You remark, and he sighs.

“Just jump around a little and we’ll go to the bar.”

“Don’t we have to seem like we’re flirting? Through dance?”

“Do you really want to copy them?” He points at a couple that were rubbing up against each other and you cough nervously.

“No. But just dance.” You start to move to the rhythm of the music, waving your hips and bobbing your head, and you see Sherlock start to copy you.

You get closer to him after a little bit, and quickly grab his hands and put them on your waist.

“What are you doing?” He raises an eyebrow, and you nod your head over your shoulder.

“Olivia. She’s been watching us.”

“I’ve noticed as well. But she’s been watching others too. The two in the corner having an affair, and the two too drunk to remember their own names.”

“How do we make sure she chooses us then, if she’s the killer?”

“How many times have you been chatted up?” He says quite seriously, and you laugh.

“Enough times.”

“How many.”

“Why, you jealous.”

Nothing from him but a grimace and he looks back up at the crowd.

“Fine. Once, maybe twice.”

“Makes more sense.” You pinch him at that. “What’s the next step for them?”

“Drink, then a bit of fun in an alley I would think.”

“Would think?”

“Yeah. I didn’t always get to that part of the evening.”

“Why not?” A surprisingly genuine question coming from him.

“What, you’re not going to say that makes sense either?”

“You’re an attractive woman. It would only make sense that they would want to continue the evening.”

“Why thank you, Sherlock.”

“You seem easy enough too, at any rate.”

“Always have to have a barb, don’t you. How about we skip the drink and walk past her to the alley, see if she follows.” Before he can answer, you’ve grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him with you, feeling her stare as you walk past and walk out the open door.

“Has she followed?” You ask, and Sherlock barely takes a glance behind.

“She’s watching from inside.”

“How do we get her out here instead?” You grumble, and Sherlock whirls you to face him and then grabs you by the waist.

“Do you trust me.”

“I barely know you.”

He quickly moves you up against a wall, eyes staring straight into your own. They were grayer than you had thought, and now very close. He moves a hand to your neck, fingers cradling your cheek and jaw, and your heart starts pumping loud enough that you can hear it.

“Is she watching us.” He mutters and you try to blink out of your stupor, glancing over his shoulder.

“Y-yeah.”

“When I kiss you, try to not fall in love with me.”

“Sure, only if you stop falling in love with me.”

“Too late.” Was the last thing he said before he crashed his lips into yours.

He was clumsy, careless, inexperienced but still powerful, and you quickly lost track of anything else.

After a minute or two, or probably shorter, he grabs your hand and leads you down the alley, holding you close. You’re right up against him, your ear to his ribcage, and you can hear his heart pounding.

“She’s behind us. We’ll turn the corner, go down a bit until we get to the skatepark at the bottom of the street. Then you run. Understand?”

You can’t formulate words just yet, heart pounding out of either excitement or fear, and follow him along.

Once you get to the building, Sherlock quickly turns a corner and brings you both into the shadows. He holds a finger to his lips as you hear someones quick and quiet footsteps, that suddenly stop.

“She’s taken her shoes off.” You whisper in his ear and he nods, crouching down lower until finally he lets your wrist go and pushes you away.

“Run.”

You do so as you see Olivia come out of the shadows suddenly, leaping onto Sherlock with a glint of metal in her hand, and you hear him grunt in the darkness as he tries to fight her off but she obviously has the upper hand. Quickly, you hide behind a low wall and look around for anything, but all that’s there is paper and bags.

Your eyes finally settle on your shoes.

Wedges. Big, heavy, can pack a punch.

Stripping them both of and clutching one in your hand, you quickly dash behind ramps and walls to get behind the fighting duo, and as you get closer you see Olivia has gained the upper hand, straddling his chest and and lifting her knife high above his heart.

You creep up behind her and smash her upside the head with the wooden wedge, shoving her off by the shoulder with your other foot.

“Took you long enough.” You merely said as you stood himself up and dusted himself off.

“What, not even a thank you?”

“For what exactly?”

“For saving your life, you numbskull!”

“You really think I didn’t have it under control?”

“You seemed to be under her knife.”

“And you seemed to be above it.”

“That barely makes sense, so I’m going to count it as a thanks from you.”

“I think I’ll be fine with you as a roommate.”

“You bloody better be.”

You both are breathing heavily, only the moon shining a weak gleam on the both of you.

“Did John warn you about me?”

“Only that you would very quickly be one of the most important men in my life. And that you can be a stuck-up egomaniac.”

“I will be.”

He really was right about everything.

——

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