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wisdomssdaughterr · 1 month

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PROJECT SUNSHINE CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE → ON THE BENCH

summary: steve harrington x oc

when another product of Hawkins National Laboratory escaped a long-survived nightmare alongside her sister, she crashed into one unsuspecting teenage boy and dragged him deeper into the dark mysteries that made up their hometown.

word count. 3.5k || masterlist

warnings: cannon typical violence, child abuse, horror, gore, and depictions of mental illness. parts of this story were written pre-season 4 release. cannon divergence.

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Outside the Byers home, in the light of the moon that peaked out from behind the broken cloud cover, Steve and Nancy dug through a pile of junk tossed out from the shed and looked for anything that could be used to burn the monster virus out of Will. A tightness pulled at Steve’s chest the longer they stood in uncomfortable silence. He couldn’t handle it and decided to break it.

“You should go with him.

Nancy’s head snapped upward. “What?” Her curls fell from her pulled-back hair and makeup was smeared lightly under her bright eyes, looking more undone than she usually did. They all looked frazzled after their night which still felt far from over, but she still looked beautiful. And that thought made his chest hurt even more.

“You should go with Jonathan.” The words were bitter in his mouth, but he knew they needed to come out. Ever since their fight on Halloween, Steve knew their already rocky relationship was too far gone to be sewn back together. It had been splintered since Barb’s death, but for a while, Steve thought if they pretended they were okay, everything would fix itself. But it had become increasingly clear to Steve that nothing in their lives would be normal again, and because of that he and Nancy couldn’t pretend they were the same people they had been last year when they were stealing kisses in the bathroom during the passing period. Their lives had split in two, the before and after. His and Nancy’s relationship was stuck in the before, before monstered turned out to be real and people returned from the dead.

He still loved Nancy, and maybe a piece of him always would, but Nancy didn’t hold the same feelings toward him. Steve knew that much. They were over, and maybe that had been since before Halloween but neither one of them wanted to admit it. Something was going on between her and Jonathan, and it stung more than he cared to admit.

“No,” Nancy said. “I’m not just going to leave Mike.”

Steve turned his attention to a small space heater he found in the pile. He toyed with it in his hands, so he didn’t have to look in her eyes as he spoke. “No one’s leaving anyone. I may be a shitty boyfriend, but it turns out I’m a pretty damn good babysitter.”

“Steve…” she muttered as Steve met her gaze and handed her the space heater. A small, sad smile graced his lips. There was an apology written on her face, but he knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t say it aloud, not yet at least. For the longest time, he believed every part of Nancy Wheeler was perfect, but she wasn’t.

“It’s okay, Nancy,” Steve said. “It’s okay.” And it would be, eventually.

There were more important things happening in the world than his love life. Steve wasn’t going to sit there and beg Nancy to take him back and fix something that was a little broken from the start. That wasn’t fair to either one of them. So, he let her go, no matter how much it really fucking sucked. He handed her the heater and watched as she went back inside, leaving him alone to mull over his thoughts.

Running a hand through his hair, Steve sighed and slummed his shoulders as the door shut behind Nancy. If it weren’t for the impending doom that hung in the air, Steve would have gone home and drunk the rest of the beer in his fridge while he felt sorry for himself. But there was no time for that. There was too much on the line and his heartbreak would have to wait until the world wasn’t teetering on the verge of ending.

There was something else too that stirred in his chest, something that left him feeling odd. He didn’t feel as awful as he had on Halloween, and maybe it was because that night already felt like the end of them. The blow of actually losing Nancy didn’t make him feel as utterly miserable as he thought it should have. It hurt. Of course it hurt. Some of him did want to crawl into bed and mull about, but not all of him felt that way. His heartache was mixed with something else, something confusing and conflicting. He didn’t want to dwell on it, not when everyone was preparing to save Will and stop the monsters from eating the residence of Hawkins.

Steve wiped his hands off on his jeans and caught sight of a figure that passed the illuminated window of the kitchen. Sunshine stood with just the side of her face showing, but he could tell she spoke with animation. He assumed she was talking to one of her estranged, superpowered siblings. She looked different than she had the entire time she’d been back home; she wore a kind of smile that Steve only vaguely remembered from their brief childhood together.

Hawkins had a thing for kids coming back from the dead flipping their world on its head.

After all of the supplies were gathered, Nancy piled into Joyce’s car, and they took off to some cabin Hopper had in the woods. Everyone else crowded on the front porch.

Steve lingered back by the front door with Max as they were the two odd men out, and watched the group of Hawkins's very own smartasses and superheroes engulf each other in hugs and bid their goodbyes.

Mike and El, who Steve had gathered had a thing for each other, shared hushed and teary-eyed goodbyes. Sunshine and Luke did the same with Leia, only they spoke loud enough that Steve could hear.

“Be safe, okay?” Sunshine said as she cupped Leia’s cheeks.

“I will be.”

Her brother’s face was serious, and full of worry lines that Steve didn’t think any kid should have. “We’re serious. And if anything goes wrong-”

Leia brushed off his concern. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you.” She tapped the middle of her forehead with her index finger and said, “Just keep an open mind or else I may not be able to reach you.” Her words went a wave of confusion through the group. Steve wasn’t sure he had any more confusion left in him for one night, but he listened anyway and tried to ignore the headache that drummed in his temples.

“What?” Dustin asked, saying what all of them were thinking.

Luke’s icy blue gaze bounced between the group as he spoke. “We can talk to each other inside our heads.” He said it like that was totally normal; Steve felt like he was dreaming.

“But we only use it for emergencies because it’s…” Leia paused, her brows furrowing as she seemed to search for the right words. “You really have to focus and it’s a little, um, complicated, I guess.”

Lucas’s mouth was agape, but he snapped it shut when Max stepped beside him and nudged his shoulder with her own. He shook his head in disbelief as he muttered, “Twin telepathy. You guys have twin telepathy.”

“Cool,” said Max. Her eyes were wide with wonder as she took in everything, despite how terrifying it all was. Steve had to give her credit, she handled everything with much more grace than he had.

“El?” Sunshine called out to the girl, who broke away from Mike and joined her brother and sisters.

Steve hadn’t met El the year prior, but from the little that Sunshine had spoken of her, she wasn’t what he expected. He knew she and Sunshine weren’t actually related, but he pictured El to look somewhat like Sunshine. But El had dark makeup on her eyes and gelled back, short hair that curled at the nape of her neck. She was paler than Sunshine, had wider eyes, and a rounder face. The only thing she and Sunshine shared was the stain of blood on their noses and the little black number on their wrists that peaked out from their long sleeve. Still, they acted like sisters, and Steve supposed they had been through enough together that it didn’t matter if they shared blood or not, they were family.

“You stay safe too, okay?” Sunshine said, hugging El tightly.

El’s voice was muffled in the fabric of Sunshine’s coat, but Steve could make out a quiet, “I will. Promise.”

“Come on, let’s go,” Hopper’s booming voice called out from where he leaned against the front of his truck. “It’s time.” El and Leia joined hands and started toward the truck, leaving the rest of the group to their own devices at the Byers’ home.

The air was thick with emotion, but Steve had faith that everything would work out, mostly because he didn’t know what’d they do if it didn’t.

Once the truck had disappeared down the road, everyone shuffled back inside and started cleaning up the disaster they caused inside the home. The living room was a mess of shattered glass and monster slime, the kitchen was strewn with first aid equipment and stuff from their morse code deciphering, and everywhere else was strewn with weapons and moved furniture.

The kids started to sweep up the glass and pick up the floor while Sunshine and Steve found themselves back in the kitchen.

“Hey.” Steve felt like he hadn’t talked to her in hours. “Are you okay?” He couldn’t imagine what was going through her head after everything that had just happened. It was like they crammed a year's worth of events into one night. It was overwhelming for him, and he was a mere bystander in most of it.

Sunshine nodded slowly, unsurely. “I think so. It just a lot, all of…this.” She vaguely gestured around, but Steve understood. A lot seemed like a massive understatement.

“No kidding,” he chuckled lightly but stopped himself as his eyes trailed down Sunshine’s face and onto the slow drip of blood that continued to fall from Sunshine’s nose, which she tried to hide with a wipe of her coat sleeve. “Your nose is still bleeding?”

Sunshine sighed and twisted her wrist to expose the series of dark red stains on her coat. “I couldn’t get them to work earlier.” Steve assumed she was talking about her powers. He had watched her try to light her hands when the monsters found them, but nothing had happened.

He tried to ease her worry. “You’re probably just tired, right? I mean, you took out a lot of those dogs at the junkyard. They’ll come back.” Steve didn’t even know how she was still standing upright. The fight at the junkyard alone left him achy and tired.

“Yeah, I hope so,” she sighed and glanced over her shoulder at where the kids were working quietly in the living room. “But what if something else happens tonight?”

He hoped to God they didn’t have to do anything else that night or ever again. It seemed like the worst of it was over for their group. “I think we’re just on babysitting duty for the rest of the night. We’ll be fine, Sunshine.”

Her lips parted, ready to say something, but she was stopped by the shrill voice of Dustin shouting across the house. “Steve! I need your help!”

Steve sighed and Sunshine retreated to the living room. The curly-haired kid rushed into the kitchen and began tossing things out of the freezer.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked.

“We need to get the dead Demo-dog into the freezer,” Dustin replied, pointing his finger at the dead monster that had been dragged into the kitchen, coated in a layer of slime and horrifying looking.

He didn’t understand the kid’s fascination with the otherworldly creature. “Why?”

Dustin looked at him strangely. “Because we need to preserve it for the sake of science.”

Steve thought that was absurd, but he supposed he couldn’t argue with that logic. He helped Dustin empty the freezer with a feeling that Ms. Byers was not going to appreciate having the monster stored in her home.

“I can’t believe El’s back,” Dustin said, striking up a conversation. “And that she brought back her and Sunshine’s siblings from the Lab. I mean, it’s just like I said, we have our own team of X-Men now! It’s so cool. Did you see what Leia did to the lights?” Dustin spoke with his voice laced with awe. He was right, it was insane. Steve felt like he was tossed into a comic book.

“And Luke. He’s the one who can see the future,” Dustin continued. “That’s so crazy. Do you think he’s really seen the end of the world?”

Steve’s gaze drifted into the living room, where Sunshine sat on the couch with Luke and listened intently to whatever the younger kid telling her. That was an awful big thing for one child to carry with him. Steve didn’t really even know what that meant for Luke or any of them, and the more he thought about it, the more his head hurt.

Dustin seemed rather unphased, though. “Okay. Grab the Demo-dog.” Steve’s face scrunched up at the instruction and crossed his arms over his chest in protest, earning an eye roll from Dustin. “Dude, just wrap it in a blanket and shove it in the freezer. It’s not rocket science.”

“Fine,” Steve sighed, knowing arguing would get him nowhere. “I just don’t think this is necessary.” He wanted to forget those slimy, sharp-toothed monsters ever existed.

“It just is, okay? This is a ground-breaking scientific discovery. We can’t just bury it like some common mammal. It’s not a dog, Steve. And what if someone dug it up? I’m doing us and science a favor.”

Steve grabbed a blanket that Dustin had stolen from Ms. Byers and threw it over the monster with his face pinched in disgust the entire time. “Alright, alright. But you’re explaining this to Ms. Byers.” He picked it up and cringed at the awful squelching noises the dead monster made when Steve touched it. “Can you help me out here?”

Dustin reopened the empty freezer and held the door while Steve shoved the Demo-dog inside. It barely fit, but after a couple of shoves and the re-adjusting of limbs they slammed the door shut and it stayed. With a breath of relief that at least the thing was out of sight, Steve somewhat affectionately ruffled Dustin’s hair.

As weird as their night had been, Steve would’ve been lying if he said he didn’t take a liking to the smart-ass group of kids he had accidentally been put in charge of. They were brave kids, annoying but in a way that was kind of endearing.

Once they finished cleaning up the kitchen of the monster gunk, the two of them wandered back into the living room and rejoined the rest of the group. Max and Lucas carefully swept up the glass on the floor. Luke and Sunshine spoke quietly on the couch. And Mike paced back and forth across the room.

Lucas glanced up from his position on the floor where he held the dustpan in place for Max. “Mike, would you stop it already?”

He shook his head. “You weren’t in there, okay? The Lab is swarmed with hundreds of those dogs-”

“Demo-dogs,” Dustin corrected.

His friends ignored him. “The chief will take care of her, and so will her sister,” said Lucas.

Max let out a small scoff and muttered, “Yeah, like they need protection.”

“Listen, kid,” Steve started, tossing the dishrag he used to wipe down the kitchen table over his shoulder. “A coach calls a play in the game, bottom line, you execute it, right?” Everyone in the room looked at him with blank stares, like not a single one of them understood what he said.

Mike scowled. “First of all, this isn’t some stupid sports game. Secondly, we’re not even in the game, we’re on the bench.”

“Right. So, my point is…” Steve trailed off, unsure of where he was going. He shrugged and settled on, “Yeah, we’re on the bench. So, uh, there is nothing we can do.” He thought they’d leave it at that; he was very wrong.

“That’s not entirely true,” Dustin said.

“What’d you mean?” Sunshine asked, holding a bloodied tissue to her nose. Steve still didn’t understand a whole lot about her powers, but the fact that her nose was still bleeding worried him.

“These Demo-dogs have a hive mind. When they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

Steve also didn’t understand much about kids, but he was pretty sure most of them didn’t have some weird supernatural magnet that found them in the strangest of situations. And he was pretty sure most groups of kids didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength every time they spoke to one another. Even Max and Luke seemed to understand exactly what the three boys were getting at, despite them hardly knowing each other.

“Right, so if we can get their attention-” Max started her thought, and it was finished by Mike whose eyes widened with an idea that Steve was sure he was going to hate.

“Then maybe we can draw them away from the Lab and clear a path to the gate.”

“Yeah, and then we all die!” Steve said. He felt like he was stating the obvious, but of course, the kids didn’t see it that way.

“That’s one point of view,” Dustin said.

“No, that’s not a point of view, man, that’s a fact.”

Mike snapped his fingers and said, “I got it!” He rushed out of the room and into the hall, where he crouched down beside a part of Will’s elaborate map that was taped to nearly every surface of the home. “This is where the chief dug his hole. This is our way into the tunnel. So,” he trailed his finger along the map until he landed on a mess of papers taped to the floor in a pile of sorts, scribbled with dark blue and black. “Here, right here. This is like a hub where all of the tunnels feed into. Maybe if we set this on fire-”

Standing beside Steve, Sunshine rushed out, “Whoa! No. No way.”

Steve seemed to be the only one that heard her.

“The Mind Flayer would call away his arm,” Lucas said.

“They’d all come to stop us,” Max added.

Beside Mike, Luke kneeled on the ground and touched the paper with the palm of his hand, studying it. “Yeah. And then we could circle back to the exit and by the time they realize we’re gone-”

“Guys!” Steve raised his voice slightly, trying to shut down the conversation before the kids got the grand idea of actually trying to set a tunnel on fire to draw the monsters to them. There was not a chance in hell that they were going anywhere.

Mike ignored Steve and continued fleshing out a plan. “They’d be at the Gate, and we’d be gone.”

“Hey! This is not happening!” Steve yelled.

“But-” Mike tried to argue back, but Steve wasn’t having it.

“No! No buts! Sunshine and I promised that we’d keep you shitheads safe and that is exactly what we’re gonna do. We’re all staying here, on the bench, and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everyone understand?”

Instead of responding to him, all of their eyes turned to Sunshine.

“Please, Sunshine,” Dustin pleaded.

Much to Steve’s relief, she shook her head. “I know you guys want to help, and I do too, but Steve’s right. It’s too dangerous and we promised we’d keep you guys safe. There’s nothing we can do right now.”

The kids all sighed and deflated as their plan was shut down. Steve was about to suggest they do something to get their minds off of everything that had happened and that was happening, but he didn’t get a chance to as a pair of headlights pulled into the driveway.

Max and Lucas were the first to run to the broken window to see who it was. It was too soon for anyone to be back yet, which meant it was someone uninvolved in the night’s events.

“It’s my brother,” Max said, ducking down to hide herself from being spotted out the window. “He can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

All night, the only time Max looked scared was when there was a monster hanging down from the bus roof, inches away from her head. Besides that, she had taken to the insanity a lot better than Steve had last year. Yet, when she talked about her brother, there was a different kind of fear and panic written all over her face.

Steve shot a quick glance at Sunshine as he said, “Stay here with them. I’ll get him to leave.” He rolled his shoulders and stepped outside into the cold November air that nipped at nose. The headlights of the car shut off and Steve recognized the who it belonged to immediately. Billy Hargrove.

Tag list. @sattlersquarry , @leptitlu , @echoing-oursong

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington x original character #steve harrington x reader #stranger things fanfiction #nancy wheeler #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #stranger things 2 #project sunshine

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televinita · 15 days

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People's Sexiest Man Alive would never steer me wrong!

Idly browsing through DVDs at the library, I saw "Thanksgiving" (apparently released last fall and which, like most movies these days, I've never heard of), whose cover gave off immediate Slasher (the series) vibes so I turned it over to read the back.

Whereupon I saw Patrick Dempsey in a sheriff's uniform and IMMEDIATELY said "sold" and put it in my checkout bag without even reading the summary. This is the level of auto-watch we're at here.

Spoilers for the ending, and also Scream 3 I guess, below the cut:

and listen, I knew it was too much to hope that I would get away with a second horror movie in which he is the kindly local law enforcement who neither dies nor kills, but also I didn't! Especially when he immediately became the reassuring and comforting presence to a teenage girl whose entire remaining family kinda sucks. Not even the godawful accent* stopped me, and believe me, that was A Trial.

[*which, I am horrified to learn while googling to confirm what to call it, is real?? "he was instructed to lose the accent in order to broaden his acting opportunities" well I'm sorry to say, whoever told him that was entirely correct. Just like he had to ditch his original nose. I have never apologized for being shallow as hell in my screen preferences.]

Other thoughts:

+ MC's love interests both kinda suck, but as far as the friend group, I'll be damned if I didn't immediately find them all distinctive and interesting within about ten minutes of knowing them. Goosebumps 2023 aside, I have watched so many exhaustingly bland teens in films and TV shows that I assumed my ability to enjoy an actor under about 25 was gone forever, but no! Look! Here they are, being Interesting! ESPECIALLY the lead...Nell Verlaque? Show me MORE, IMMEDIATELY.

[side detour #2: oh my god, she was also in Big Shots?? TUNA are you KIDDING ME this might finally drive me to the seas, the high ones specifically]

+ In other news, the violence and gore made me sick to my stomach (also like Slasher!), and after about fifteen minutes I simply could not watch most of the terrible scenes. Or at least, I didn't want to, but sometimes I didn't turn away fast enough and they got me. I will be having nightmares, thanks!!!

+ Fortunately I will simply soothe them away with the correct AU in which someone else is the killer because of reasons, and after her remaining family members are brutally butchered, Quasi-Uncle Patrick Dempsey simply steps up to offer her a home and several years' worth of trauma therapy. 🤗

#will Televinita ever learn her lesson about R-rated slashers? NO #she will simply continue to take psychic damage in pursuit of a spine chill while bemoaning the lack of PG13 options #it was a unique idea with a pretty decent and creative plot! just. it made me feel bad in my soul for having seen (most of) it #movie night with televinita

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thebillyhargrove · 2 years

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so i need littel help, I wanna have a movie Marathon day at Halloween. And just more to wacht, soooo what is your favorit scary movies? or movies for Halloween season? pretty pleas:3 Thank you, and have a good wahtever time.

i usually just watch whatever the girl puts on. and then 20 minutes in we end up fucking.. so.. i'm not a good person to ask for movie recs

ooc// BILLY IS A LOSER BUT I LOVE THIS QUESTION SO I'M ANSWERING IT. Super long kind of info-dumpy spam of movie recs below the cut! Happy Halloween!

My two favorite halloween/horror movies are Scream (1996) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). Scream is a classic, I don't have to talk about that one. But Billy and Stu are sexy and I love that the film subverts expectations by giving us 2 killers instead of 1.

TCM (2006) is a prequel to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and you could watch them in either order to be honest. They're both great. I just prefer 2006 because Thomas (Leatherface) wears a half-mask in that one so we get to see his eyes and his glorious hair. Sexy chainsaw man go brr. And naturally I love The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) because I love Bubba and Nubbins. And the door slam scene and the chainsaw swinging scene and the 70s fashion and the grab/hook scene. Ugh. Amazing. That being said, the ableism in the beginning it rough to watch if you're sensitive to it. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is kind of.. not great. It's watchable, but you'll probably not like any of the main characters and they made Bubba a Michael Myers clone which ruins his character. I'd say you probably won't like this one if you like the other TCM movies. If you like Halloween you might like it though? Watch this one first if you want to like it.. lmao.

I also suggest Hocus Pocus for a halloween movie because it's a classic and I love the witches.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) fucking sucks; don't waste your time unless you're really dedicated to seeing Johnny Depp in a crop top for like 3 minutes.

The original Halloween is also bad in my opinion, I'd recommend the Rob Zombie remake instead.

Saw 1 and 2 are really good but don't watch them if you hate being stressed out or if you don't like gore. A lot of people say those movies are torture porn and I wouldn't necessarily say that for the first two, but there's still a lot of gore in them. Not as much as in the other ones but... you know. Needle Pit. The Mask. Reverse Bear Trap.

The Babadook is really good and scary. It's very psychological. Midsommar is good too but I wouldn't say it's scary? Like, outright? Us (2019) is super freaky, definitely watch that. Jennifer's Body isn't scary (to me), but it's sexy so for sure watch that one. Orphan (2009) is really good and a prequel just came out that is ALSO insanely good and I beg you to watch both. The Orphanage (2007) is freaky and I recommend that too.

Pan's Labyrinth isn't technically a horror movie but it can get creepy as fuck and is really good. The Dark Crystal isn't horror but it can also get creepy so that and The Neverending Story could be good to watch. If you watch those two, throw in Labyrinth (1986) as well. Add in The Last Unicorn too because it has a similar vibe as the rest of them.

Oh! Black Swan is fucking awesome too so watch that! It starts pretty normal and then slowly gets freakier and freakier. Same with Oculus, though people have mixed feelings with that one. The Ward is a movie that scared the ever-living shit out of 14 year old me. I don't know if it still holds up, but you can give it a go.

Train to Busan is pretty okay if you like zombie stuff. Warm Bodies isn't horror but it's also a zombie movie and one of my all-time faves. Fido I don't think is "horror" but I like that one too.

Okay, this is WAY too long so I'm stopping here, but if anyone else wants mun's opinions on horror movies, please ask.

#ooc//#admin speaks #horror movie recommendations #movie recs #📮;i've got mail

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xenophilderdragon · 12 hours

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Spooked

A little shitty self-indulgent Hawks x reader where the reader is actually really shit at handling horror movies and can't sleep for multiple days. This is definitely not at all something that happened to me because I'm a little bitch baby. On another note, Hereditary is an absolute masterpiece of a movie, watch it if you're good at handling horror. I, my lovelies, am not. (Also Train to Busan and Killer Sofa are two more solid choices for different reasons).

Tags: fluff, soft Keigo my beloved, 100% self-indulgent, reader can't handle horror movies, mentions of blood, mentions of gore, mentions of general gross horror movie things, no mention of pronouns or any real body type,

"Lovebird, you need to sleep."

Keigo had gently pried the headphones away from your ear to voice his concern for you. He was right, you hadn't slept well in a couple days. Not a night, at least. You've been relying on power naps to get you through the days, not really able to get restful sleep at night. It's all because your friend wanted to watch horror movies with you. You were never really that into them, but you could appreciate any good (or hilariously bad) movie. And usually, while some of the more graphic, psychological horrors stuck in your mind for a while, good filmmaking was good filmmaking. It started out fine. Train to Busan? Absolutely amazing zombie movie. Killer Sofa? Hilariously bad. Llamageddon? Even the filmmakers knew how ridiculous a movie it was. But it was when you finally got to the finale, Hereditary, that you felt truly freaked out.

Usually, chatting through movies helps to not get so sucked in. But Hereditary was just so good. It captured my attention the minute the movie started to pick up. And it was a Masterpiece. Despite your unease as the movie went on, you kept watching. Both because it was just fantastic and because your friend was just really excited to show you their favorite film.

So now, you were listening to an audiobook and building a puzzle, doing everything in your power to ignore the creeping darkness outside and keep your mind off the scares from the movie. Like, a person could only see a surprise decapitation so many times before it starts to get to them. Or the sudden and unprompted violent deaths. Well, you kinda predicted the guy would burst into flames, movie logic and all that, but his acting was just far too good for you not to be a little shocked. The worst culprits of your unease came from the silent scares. Where there was no camera motion, and, eventually, your eyes would focus away from the focal point and notice a literal person creepily smiling from the corner, and how long were they there? Were they there the whole time and you didn’t see? Have I missed some scars because I wasn’t paying attention? And oh god is that another one–

"Lovebird?" Keigo's voice snaps you out of your thoughts once again.

"I'm fine, Keigo. I'm just really invested in this puzzle and this book." You say, motioning to put your headphones back on. Keigo holds them far out of your reach.

"Honey, you've read that book sixteen times since we've been together alone. You said you read it or listen to it when you're upset. You literally quote it at random times. What's really going on?" Keigo's voice is laced with concern. He'd had late night patrols for the past week, and where he'd usually find you passed out on the couch, a failed attempt at waiting for him, he's been finding you so enthralled in your hobbies that you don't even notice him coming in. Which usually, is fine. Keigo is always happy to see you enjoying your interests, but this just seems...obsessive. He's even caught you trying your hardest to have some kind of light on when you eventually do fall asleep. What's worse, he's constantly awoken by your rapid heartbeat, his sensitive feathers picking up your distress, even in his sleep. What he thinks is an intruder, really just amounted to nightmares you convinced him were from eating too much sugar before bed.

Nonsense, he knows, but he figured you'd eventually come clean and confide in him. He'd never judge his precious lovebird. But this was getting out of hand. The bags under your eyes were apparent, and he'd been noticing you sleeping through meals you never attempted to make up. You'd nearly fallen asleep at the stove, after all! This was a matter of safety. So when you once again denied his concern for you and tried to play off your insistence not to sleep, Kiego took matters into his own hands. He scooped you up, letting your headphones fall onto the couch, still playing the audiobook (he'd charge them later, once he got you to sleep), and carried you to your shared room. Once he plops you down, he crawls into bed with you, pulling the covers around you rather tightly, rolling you into some kind of burrito.

"Keigo, what are you doing?" You ask, annoyance in your voice, "I was in the middle of something. I'll lose my place."

"Tell me what's wrong, lovebird," Keigo urges gently, placing a warm hand on your cheek, his golden eyes dipped in concern, "you haven't slept well in days and you're starting to worry me. And then there's the nightmares. If you really don't want to talk about it, then at least let me help you get to sleep. You know you're safe here, right?"

Keigo's worried tone breaks your heart, but it's honestly far too embarrassing to tell the number two hero that you can't sleep because of something so trivial as a horror movie--

"I know I'm safe here, birdie," you say, rolling over to him the best you can despite being cocooned in the blankets. "I'm just having a hard time sleeping. I'll get over it."

"Okay, but until then, are you just going to walk around like a zombie? Lovebird, I watched you nearly spill the kettle on yourself a few days ago. This is unhealthy. Just tell me what's wrong."

Theres a long pause, and silence falls over the room like a blanket. You can see the concern on Keigo's face and suddenly, you really, really don't want to see his face when you tell him you're shaken by something as stupid as a horror movie. "Keigo, can you wrap your wings around me?"

Keigo chuckles. You were just so cute. The man shifts around to stretch his wings out, giving them one flap before moving them back down to wrap around you. He formed a cocoon around you, blocking out the rest of the world in a warm, dark embrace. You felt the soft touch of his feathers and, for once, the darkness didn't seem so scary. You can already tell Kiego has an expectant look on his face, and you sigh deeply.

"Remember when I went to a friend's house a couple days ago? For movie night?"

Keigo blinks at you, confused. His mind had wandered to all manner of awful things, affected by his life as a hero. "Yeah. You said they really wanted to show you a movie. What about it?"

"We watched Hereditary."

From the slight intake of breath he let out, you could tell he'd seen it before. "Like, the horror movie? From 2018? That Hereditary? That's why you've been so sleep-deprived?" Keigo asks gently. You hum your confirmation and Keigo lets out a rather disappointed sigh. It seemed to have clicked for him all at once.

"Lovebird, why would you do that to yourself? You know you can't handle horror well."

"But it was a good movie!"

"I know it's a good movie, but really, why would you put yourself through that? Torturing yourself for cinema isn't exactly the best way to enjoy it."

“Yeah, but it's my friend’s favorite movie. They were so excited to show me.”

“I’m sure your friend would have understood. Lovebird, you’ve been missing out on sleep for days just because you didn’t want to disappoint your friend?”

“It’s really not that bad–”

Keigo shifts around, a sliver of light coming through his wings that’s enough for you to see the frown on his face. He gently cradles your face in his hands, brushing his thumb against your cheek. His expression is floody with worry, and his voice is soft when he speaks again.

“How can I help, lovebird? I’m here, okay?”

“Cuddle me, Kiego?” you ask, voice small.

“Of course Lovebird." he kisses your forehead gently before nuzzling his nose against yours. "Anything for you.”

#hawks mha #keigo tamaki #mha hawks #bnha mha #fluff #self indulgence at its finest #i suck at watching horror movies #Keigo would definitely love them though

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captains-simp · 3 years

Text

Wanda Maximoff ~ Bottled Up Feelings

Wanda Maximoff X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 3,139

Includes: oral, fingering and scissoring

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Thank you for this." Your brunette friend said with a small smile for what must have been the hundredth time that night.

The team had been on a long, frustrating mission that had everyone exhausted. All anyone wanted to do was put their feet up or sleep the year away, eventually going off to do just that.

You and Wanda hadn't parted since you got back. You hadn't even needed to suggest a movie marathon as the pair of you went back to Wanda's room almost the moment you landed purely out of habit, after getting popcorn of course, and made yourself comfortable on her bed that had come to be as familiar as your own while Wanda scrolled mindlessly through Netflix.

Once you decided Wanda was taking too long looking for a movie you decided to steal the remote (claiming it was payback for all of the hoodies she had stolen from you) eventually streaming a series of some of your favourite horror films - something Wanda wasn't so keen on.

When you finally decided to call it a night on the movies Want a had been adamant you stay the night with her, telling you if you tried to get up to leave she would keep there with her powers. You weren't entirely sure she was joking.

You hardly needed the persuasion, you were always happy to spend time with your friend and you were glad she felt the same way.

When you came out to her a year ago she had been so understanding and supportive, much to your relief. Nothing changed between you and she never acted weird or uncomfortable around you like you knew some people would. She told you to stay in her room and sleep in her bed just as much as you had before. But that wasn't something you weren't sure if you should be happy about.

You had had a crush on Wanda for the longest time. As time went on you spent considerably more time together it was hard not to crush harder. Everything she did made your heart flutter. And those sleepovers? The way she always cuddled up into your side, the soft smile that played on her lips, the joyful laugh that filled the room (especially when it was from something you said), it had been impossible for you not to fall inlove with your best friend.

You had wondered before if Wanda was strictly into guys. It was impossible to tell with her as she never talked about crushes and became closed off when the convosation arrived. For all you knew she could be asexual or aromantic.

You tried not to be disappointed at that thought as you knew you should support her no matter what, but you couldn't shake the feelings you had for Wanda and that filled you with guilt.

It was only out of respect that you never made a move on her. You wanted to know she was open to something with a girl before you tried anything. And you didn't want to throw away what you had. That thought alone was enough to keep you in your lane.

Whenever you voiced these fears to Natasha when she told you to do something about your feelings (because you couldn't keep anything from the superspy) she told you that relationships were like a gamble. You could either throw the dice or skip your turn. It seemed the latter was becoming more likely.

"Stop thanking me!" You exclaimed with a smile as you pulled the duvet back and lay down next to her.

Wanda had often asked you to stay the night with her. A couple of times she had come into your room at ungodly hours of the mornings and asked to sleep in your bed which you always welcomed with open arms.

You knew her nightmares could be unkind, memories from her past resurfacing and her fears being acted out in scarring detail. She never wanted to talk about it though, so you comforted her by wrapping your arms around her tight and letting her know she was always going to be safe with you.

She seemed to think she burdened you with her worries and fears, but that was never the case and it never would be. You loved her and you would do anything for her.

Wanda was laying on her side with an amused grin and propping herself up on her elbow as she watched you get comfortable. She looked adorable. Wanda always did. You mimicked her position to face her and noticed she was studying you.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You asked in a light hearted tone and saw her smile in response.

"I already have plenty of pennies, thanks." She smiled and glanced away. It took everything in you not to kiss her there and then.

"Really, what's on your mind?" Wanda looked at you a little longer, as though contemplating her words, before speaking.

"What happened with that girl you met last week?" She asked curiously.

Now that was new. Wanda knew you hooked up with girls every so often (she didn't know that it was a lame attempt to get over the fact you were deeply inlove with her) but she never asked about them.

"Just the usual stuff." You shrugged as though the question hadn't taken you by surprise.

"What's the usual stuff?" You looked up at her to meet her eyes that didn't hint at any obvious emotion. She had beautiful eyes, they were perfect. Brown swirls that you always thought you could look at for hours, hoping it might really be a window to her soul and you could finally know what was going on in that head of hers.

"We went back to her place and had sex." You said bluntly, not knowing how much detail she wanted.

"Was it good?" Seriously who was she? She never asked you these things.

"Well she didn't need a map." You joked in an attempt to hide your confusion at her newfound curiosity in your sex life. Wanda didn't smile at your words, appearing lost in thought "Why?" You asked curiously.

"Don't you ever get attached? Develop feelings?" She asked, apparently ignoring my own question as she found interest in the pillow you were leaning on.

You could have burst into laughter at her question. You could have just blurted out "that would be kind of hard when I'm already head over heels for you", but you didn't.

"No. I don't see them after." You said, finding an interest in Wanda's pillow too.

The brunette fell quiet, apparently not having anything to say to that, not wanting the rare topic to end you continued.

"Have you been thinking about it lately?" You asked, afraid you were too blunt.

"Yes." She replied clearly. You hesitated for a moment before continuing.

"You want to hook up with someone?"

"Yes- no! I..." She sounded slightly panicked at first, but after a moment her voice dropped and shifted to a undeniably sad tone. Almost hopeless.

"What's stopping you?" You asked gently.

"I just...I don't want it to be with some random stranger." That was understandable. Lot of people felt the same way. Sex could be such a personal and sacred thing to people, something that's held close to their hearts and is purely an act of intimacy. You always thought that was beautiful and whished you coukd experience that. "I want it to be with someone I know... someone I trust and... someone I love." She finally looked up at you again as she breathed out slowly. "The person that I love."

She's in love? It was the only thing you could think. You wanted so desperately to ask who. For how long? When did it start? Why didn't she tell you?

"Who?" You asked. Your voice almost a whisper because you didn't want to risk Wanda hearing it break as you fought back tears.

"You." She replied at the same volume. You froze. Not believing what she said. This was completely uncharted territory for you. You didn't know what you were meant to do. So you did the only thing you knew how to do right. You kissed her.

Your hand cupped her cheek gently as your face became closer to hers, letting her know what you were about to do. She didn't object, instead she closed the distance between you.

Her lips were softer than they looked and felt perfect against your own. It was instantly addicting so you brought your other hand up to cup her other cheek and rolled over so you were partly ontop of her, never once disconnecting your lips.

You kissed her eagerly and longingly in hopes she understood that you had the same feelings for her. You had years of built up feelings to make up for, you were going to make it worth it if it was the last thing you did.

Wanda wrapped her hands around your neck and laced her fingers together as she pulled you towards her more. You happily let her do so and occasionally paused the kiss to let you breathe before going back to her.

You moved your legs so they were straddling Wanda's waist and you could be in the most comfortable position, the very concept of it giving you chills.

Bravely, you swiped your tongue across her lower lip to ask for permission. Although Wanda seemingly didn't understand what you were silently asking for, something that made you smile.

So you gently bit down on her lower lip, causing her to gasp out and moan. You made a mental note of how she responded to slight pain.

You slipped your tongue into her mouth and moaned as you explored it. It was like you needed to memorize every inch of her in case you could never do this again. You needed to treasure the moment and show Wanda just how much you cared.

"I love you too." You finally spoke. You could hear and feel her breath become shaky in nerves and it made you want to hold her close and comfort her forever.

"Show me." She whispered and you smiled.

You kissed her lips again briefly before switching your attention to her jaw. Your hands wandered down to the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head before throwing it across the room.

Your mouth almost fell to the floor when you realised she wasn't wearing a bra, forgetting you had both changed into pjs. It was dark in the room and you hadn't thought about that fact.

You slowly started to kiss down her neck, along her collarbone and finally planted butterfly kisses on her breasts. You heard Wanda gasp out at the motion and softly moan when you took her left nipple into your mouth.

Softly sucking on the bud gently, you pinched the other then switched, ensuring you gave them equal attention but eventually you felt Wanda push your head lower.

You smirked against her chest and oblidged to her clear wishes by kissing lower down her stomach and hooking your fingers under her waistband.

You pulled the fabric down slowly and kissed every inch of exposed skin before throwing the material to join her top.

Then you softly bit down on small patches of her skin and sucking on them softly to leave small marks along her thighs until Wanda grew impatient with you, groaning at what she thought was teasing rather than you cherishing the moment, you would be sure to clear that up layer.

You pulled her panties down and took a moment to beautiful sight before you and heavenly scent that had your scenes on overdrive. You smiled and instantly flickered your tongue against her clit.

She moaned out in surprise and pleasure, closing her eyes and putting her head back into the pillows as she laced her fingers through your hair.

You took two fingers and stroked them along her folds, smirking when you felt how wet she was against your fingers and relishing under the fact it was a result of your actions.

You moved away from her core to look up at her as you licked her juices off of your fingers with a proud smirk.

She stared down at you with lust in her eyes that made her even more beautiful.

Your mouth returned to her but this time sucked on her outer folds that were also soaked with her juices. You moaned into her when her arousal hit your taste buds again and dipped your tongue into her folds.

You dipped your tongue in further and heard her moan out your name, a sound that made your stomach flip. You took this as encouragement and started thrusting your tongue into her at a faster pace and rubbed your thumb in tight circles against her clit.

Wanda gripped your hair tightly as she moaned out more, her legs wrapping around your head perfectly to keep it securely in place as they began to shake.

Her breathing became fast and shallow as her grip on your hair tightened.

You rubbed harder and thrust your tongue faster until you felt a warm, sweet liquid against your tongue and Wanda screaming out in pleasure.

You looked up at her through hooded eyes as you eagerly licked up the cum she had spilt and moaned at the taste of it, instantly planning to taste it again at some point.

She looked so beautiful blissed out, more tender than you had ever seen her.

You leaned up and kissed Wanda passionalty as she did the same. You knew she could taste herself on your lips as you felt her smile against you at that fact.

"Now let me." Wanda whispered, her hand caressing your bare thigh that wasn't covered by your loose shorts.

"Wanda you don't ha-" Wanda silenced you by placing a slim finger over your lips.

"I want to. I want to make you feel good." She whispered again and pulled you closer by the back of your neck to bring you on for another kiss.

You leaned forward and kissed her passionately, not believing how soft her lips were and how perfect they felt against your own, fitting together perfectly.

She pulled you closer before rolling you over in a playful way that made you smile as she lay ontop of you. She kissed a path down you jaw and neck as her fingers continued to tease your thighs.

Her hand then came up to your waistband, momentarily tracing your hipbones, before slipping beneath the fabric of you shorts and panties.

You gasped out as fingers ghosted over your clit then adventures further to your folds.

Her fingers swiped through your folds a couple of times to gather your wetness on her fingers before slipping inside of you.

You moaned heavily at the feeling as Wanda sighed at the feel of your wet pussy around her fingers.

Her fingers extended fully inside you before retreating only to return again faster. You moaned as Wanda memorized every inch of your core and how it felt around her as she fingered you with earnest.

As her pace increased Wanda's free hand landed on your waist, holding your bodies close together as she leant in to kiss you again.

You eagerly complied as her fingers curled to hit an amazing nerve ending that had you clinging to Wanda's back and moaning the loudest.

"Wan..." You chanted breathlessly.

You squeezed your walls around Wanda's fingers as you approached your high. She took this with a new vigour and rubbed your clit firmly with her thumb, causing you to cum with a cry of her name.

She continued to lay ontop of you while you got your breath back, smiling down at you lovingly.

As she sat up slightly you were reminded of just how naked she was, and how she was right ontop of you. You were aching to feel your bare skin against hers.

You placed your hands on her waist and gently pulled her down onto her back as you sat up and grinned at her and the thoughts playing in your mind.

Wanda smiled back at you as she watched you quickly discard your shirt before pulling off your shorts and panties in one.

She bit her lip at the sight of you completely bare to her but you didn't give her a chance to stare as you were already pushing her legs apart and laying between them as you cupped her face.

"I wanna try something." You whispered, as though the experience was a secret that you two would share forever and guard with your lives. She nodded up at you, keeping eye contact as you lifted her left leg up and spread her other leg further apart, giving you the best access to her still glistening folds.

You could hear your steady breathing as you positioned yourself accordingly so your pussy hovered above Wanda's. You lowered yourself slowly and you both moaned at the contact and friction that was instantly created.

Wanda bucked her hips up when your clit glided over hers and your slick came together to help your movements.

You tried not to get too caught up in the pleasure at first, needing to be able to concentrate your attention on Wanda and the best movements.

You soon fell into the right rhythm, your breathy moans filled the room as you allowed yourself to fall flat against Wanda and kiss her deeply.

You hips rotated perfectly, yours and Wanda's folds glided over one another in was a blissful way you had never experienced.

The movements were making the pair of you breathe faster so you abandoned the kiss to place your forehead against Wanda's as your movements became more erratic.

You didn't want to cum until Wanda did, but the familiar coil in your lower stomach was becoming to tighten.

"Y/n!" Wanda moaned as her hips continued to buck against your own. The movements threw you off at first but your hips soon collided into one frantic movement.

You grinded your pussys together with vigour as you both chased your release with desperation, your combined wetness making the most lewd sound echo throughout the room and amplifying both of your arousals.

With one hard thrust of your hips you both came with a loud moan, clinging to each other and foreheads still connected as you rode out your high together, your hips twitching slightly until you eventually fell down beside Wanda, both of you still swimming in pleasure.

"Wow." Wanda barely managed to speak, exhaustion written into her voice.

"I love you." You muttered as you placed your fingers together.

"I love you too." Wanda smiled tiredly as she gave your hand a loving squeeze.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff smut #scarlett witch #elizabeth olsen

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endlessnightlock · 2 years

Note

#36 please? :)

"You're the first person I think about when I wake up."

Thank you @heathersaid <3

From the prompt list 101 Ways to Say I Love You

An alternate take on the time between the end of THG and the beginning of Catching Fire. Canon-Divergent. Rated T

The sculpted bronze water fountain in the center of Victor’s Village had been installed, according to Effie Trinket, as a gift for Twelve’s Victors for their contributions to Panem. The care the artists took crafting it, entirely with them in mind, was situated in the center of the rarely-traveled lane. The fountain was for their enjoyment- why they should be honored by the gesture!

Effie, of course, was full of shit.

Like their homes and everything in them, the water fountain was nothing more than a prop for the Capitol crews to shoot footage around. Twelve’s drab surroundings certainly weren’t picturesque enough for the viewers without classing it up a bit.

Couldn’t let anyone see the starving children or the emaciated elderly. It would be untoward to film the Star-Crossed Lovers in front of anything so crass as a row of run-down shacks— the “Capitol-provided housing” for most residents of the area.

Not that the water fountain held any meaning to Katniss. She gave very little thought to it and certainly wasn’t at that moment. It just so happened she finally cornered Peeta next to the fountain for a long-overdue conversation.

Catching up with him had proved no small task. Not because Peeta avoided her, which he did. This was the first time Katniss found the nerve to approach him.

Peeta and Katniss, The Star Crossed Lovers, were a big deal in the Capitol for their whirlwind romance, their oath to die together if they neither was allowed to live.

Forget about them being lovers; Katniss was concerned with salvaging some part of their wrecked friendship at this point. “I didn’t know it was real for you till later,” she admitted to Peeta nervously while he stood next to her in silence. He made her ill at ease, but she was the one who’d stopped him, waving the white flag so she’d better suck it up and get out what she needed to say.

She missed Peeta. She was mentally caught trying to explain that she didn’t want to pretend they were in love for the cameras, only to act like strangers at home. It frustrated her and left her feeling guilty that they’d spent all those years hovering around each other only to slide back into avoidance post-games.

Katniss didn’t care for people lightly. Whatever her feelings for Peeta meant, he’d lured her in with his kindness and now had a place in her heart. Their lives became irrevocably tied by both small things that meant a lot, like the friendship and coziness of time spent inside a cave in the middle of hell, and larger ones, like life-threatening sacrifices they made for each other. The horrors they’d survived and the misery of watching Peeta die behind an impenetrable wall of glass, twice, only for medics to resuscitate him.

Peeta was the only one who might understand the nightmares waking her at night so fearful she prayed not to fall asleep, the guilt, the constant state of dread she existed in, knowing one slip up could mean the destruction of everyone she loved. She couldn’t lose Peeta. She needed him.

“I thought you were playing your part for the Games. I thought you knew,” Katniss murmured. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I was only thinking about trying to keep us both alive. It’s what I’ve done my whole life,” she added as an afterthought. “I didn’t know until the interview that Haymitch hadn’t let you in on our plan. He didn’t give me a chance to explain things to you or talk to you alone.”

“I’m not a mind reader Katniss, although you and Haymitch have that skill in the bag,” Peeta said. He sighed. “I know you weren’t playing with my emotions. I’m mostly embarrassed. I should have known.”

“Don’t be. Peeta—” she wanted to tell him she cared about him, but that would just confuse both of them more because she didn’t know what those feelings meant.

“What I don’t understand is why you didn’t believe it when I told you I liked you in the first place?” He seemed puzzled. Hurt, but not angry. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Katniss laughed uncomfortably. “You were such a good actor, and everything in the Games is a show. You know that!. That’s why I didn’t know what to believe from you. We didn’t even know each other then. It didn’t make sense that you were interested in me. And you’re hard to read.”

“Me? I’m hard to read?” he said dryly, smiling at her for the first time in a long time. That parting of lips and flash of white teeth bolstered Katniss’s confidence.

“Look at how you got in with the Careers! You fooled them, and the Capitol audience loved you at first sight.”

“They only cared about me because of you,” Peeta said bemusedly.

“You were the one who gave them something to be interested in in the first place.” Sure they thought a lot of her now but during the pre-Games interviews? She hadn’t stood out from the crowd a bit. “They didn’t give a damn about me until the Games began,” Katniss felt like shaking some sense into Peeta. “We both know they liked “us” better than me. You’re a lot more charming than I am.”

“Oh yeah?” Peeta said drily.

“Yes, really,” Katniss had to cover a laugh behind her hand.

The smile dropped off her face when he shrugged. “Charming to everyone but you.”

“I think you know that’s not entirely true,” she said, breaking the silence that settled between them once again. “You never let me explain once we got off the train.”

“You don’t have to say that,” Peeta told her. “I was such an ass to you that day, and I’m sorry for acting so wounded. I don’t always know what to say when caught off guard. Sometimes I lash out.”

“I never know what to say either. Obviously,” Katniss murmured, thinking of the whys of how they found themselves in this situation.

He smiled at her admission. “I’ve come to realize that.”

“But you’re wrong about everything,” Katniss began, scuffing the toe of her Capitol boots on the cobblestone walkway for something to do. She wasn’t good at saying things, but to get Peeta to see; she was going to try. “You thought it was all an act, but It wasn’t. I was confused by you and my feelings. I liked our time together in the cave,” she admitted. “I liked kissing you.”

“You did?” Katniss could hear the smile in Peeta’s voice.

“Yeah. You were funny and kind, and you made me feel safe. You don’t know how much it meant having you there. After, on the way home, I hated it when you thought everything I did or said was an act.”

“You said not all of it,” Peeta took her hand, threading their fingers together.

Katniss exhaled raggedly. “Not all of it isn’t the same as none, you know. Not all of it means some. But it doesn’t matter what I feel or don’t feel. You’re wasting your time on me. I’m never getting married.”

“I didn’t ask you to marry me,” he said, sounding confused. “We’re sixteen, Katniss.”

She had to make Peeta see he was only kicking the can further down the road with that thinking. She couldn’t begin something she wouldn’t let herself finish. She didn’t have that luxury. “Sure, we’re sixteen, but we won’t be forever. And then what? I can’t let myself feel that way about you. I care about you a lot, but I can’t fall in love with you.”

Peeta didn’t answer. He had that unreadable expression on his face again. “Can you at least say something?” Katniss prodded nervously.

He sighed. “Do you want to try being friends? You’re the first person I think about every morning, and not talking to you or knowing how you are has been awful. I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Katniss admitted. “I’d love to be friends again.”

Peeta smiled, and the tension she’d been carrying around rushed away in a torrent, leaving her steadier than she’d felt in months. Overjoyed, she stepped into Peeta’s space and threw her arms around him. The last time they’d spoken, she never wanted to let go of him, unsure if she would ever have the opportunity again. Now that he understood, Katniss wasn’t going to waste it.

#endlessnightlock writes #everlark fanfiction #thg fanfiction #everlark #THG #canon-divergent in panem

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alovesongshewrote · 2 years

Text

Whumptober Days 31, 28, 27, 18, and 12 - time isn't real | Hisirdoux Casperan

Plot: i don't even know, man, i think you just have to read this one (Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader)

Warnings: blood, broken glass, someone gets broken glass in their mouth, restraints, torture, seizures, vomiting, chills, horror, poison, etc, let me know if there's more

A/N: okie dokie, so, this set of hcs started on tumblr, and was spurred on by @furblrwurblr and by @mxcheese the later of which contributed several ideas, so many thanks to both of those lovely people. todays prompts are: smile for the camera, prisoner, trauma, torture, begging, made to watch, nightmares, panic, and collapse

Here we are

Day 31

And day 12

And day 18

And days 27 and 28

…

Whatever, time isn’t real, who’s ready for angst!?

douxie's been hurt, tortured

or otherwise had the shit kicked out of him

sucks, but like

that's kinda par for the course at this point

you go and you find him with archie, and you're both like "oh fuck, oh no, oh fuck"

you pick him up, and he is way too light because of blood loss

and then you get him out of there

But alas

There are no local hospitals

Because i said so

And y’know what, douxie’s condition would be kind of hard to explain

You can’t just go in and say, “A super secret organization kidnapped and tortured my boyfriend!”

There’ll be questions

And you don’t want questions

So you take him to the nearest safe location

A cabin in the mountains, maybe?

Yes

A cabin in the mountains

Which is

Isolated as fuck, which means you have to take care of douxie

you're getting blood on your clothes

and on your skin

and his blood is warm, but he is cold, and it's freaking you out, and you just want him to wake up and tell you he's gonna be ok

that everything is gonna be ok

but he isn't going to do that

the closest thing you have is the sweet, sweet pipes of alfred molina

who has been in

so many things, holy shit

Stan archie you cowards

anyway

he tries to tell you it'll be ok, and that's enough for you to get douxie home, and onto a flat surface

he doesn't get a bed yet

beds are for people who don't need stitches

so, you're fucking panicking

you sterilize a needle, get some thread, and stitch him up the best you can

you also try to fucking

clean out all of his wounds

by the end of it

you're covered in blood

the table is covered in blood

the floor is covered in blood

archie is covered in blood

the towels you were using are covered in blood

there's blood on the walls

there's

there's a lot of blood, ok?

your kitchen smells like blood and soap

But wait!

There’s more!

this is gonna fuck me up, but

douxie lost too much blood

transfusion time (:

So, uh

you google how to do that while archie looks on, concerned

and then you almost kill yourself giving douxie your blood

yayyyyyy, romance

after that, you fuckin

try to get the rest of the dried blood off of douxie

and also

his clothes

you take the clothes off of douxie

you try to find something for him to wear that won't irritate his shit ton of wounds

eventually you do, and you just put them on him

make him pretty

Fix him up

and you get him into bed

and then you just

pet his hair

For a while

You just sit by his side, making sure he’s okay

And when you’re satisfied that he won’t die the second you take your eyes off of him

You get up and take a shower

Wash the blood of off you

Dry yourself off

And then you wash/brush the blood out of archie’s fur

Now that was pretty angsty

But uh

It was just the set up

You’re finishing cleaning off

And you’re finally calming down

And you think everything will be alright

When douxie starts coughing

He isn’t waking up

He’s just coughing

...

Up blood, he’s coughing up blood

so you go, no no no no no no no

and try to find a way to help him

fortunately, that issue is resolved on its own

when he stops coughing up blood and vomiting up whatever was left in his stomach

Honestly, “whatever was left in his stomach” wasn’t a lot

He was starved while he was tortured, and even before then, i have my doubts about this man eating enough

Anyway

He keeps throwing up for a good few minutes

And you can’t do anything

But hold his hair back

And pray to whatever gods are out there

That he’ll be okay

he still doesn't wake up btw

he just

passes out right after that

it sucks

and it's scary

But it gives you time to clean up the blood and vomit, so you're ok with it

Or as okay with it as you can be

And while he’s out, you go and find a bucket, for future instances of night vomiting

After that, you go back to watching him

he's fine for a few hours

until he starts physically fucking shivering

Even though he’s under several fuckin blankets

because apparently, it isn't enough to torture and maim douxie, oh no

The universe had to make him sick, too

You aren’t sure if he’s sick, or if his wounds are infected, or

if he’s been poisoned

But it’s all very sus

so, you get archie to try and find out what, exactly, the fuck happened to douxie

And while he does that

you just

Try to find more blankets

you hold his hands

they're cold.

And they’re normally pretty cold, but now they’re colder

Upsettingly cold

So you just

Do your best to take care of him

And eventually

he stops shivering

His hands warm up a little

And he stabilizes, more or less

and you're like

"great, everything's ok for now"

So you go

Take a minute to breathe

Make yourself some tea

And when you go back

You see douxie

Standing up

In front of one of the windows, just staring out into the mountains

How did he get out of bed?

who fucking knows

you don't

but you put him back in there

and shut the windows, which he opened somehow

and you turn back to him

and you're like

"wtf, he was asleep the whole time. Does he sleep walk? i didn't know he did that"

But you shake that off

Chalk it up to a side effect of the torture, or poison, or whatever illness he’s enduring

You sit down

and you go to sip your tea

and then douxie starts fucking screaming

You drop your tea

It spills right across the floor, but you don’t care

You're too busy trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong

It sounds like he's in pain

And that makes you think he may have opened one of his wounds when he got up

but there's no blood

it's just a nightmare

and you know he just has to ride it out

but you

you don't want to- you can’t listen to his screams without doing something

You

You just can’t do that

so you just

lie down next to him

while he writhes in pain that isn't even real

his sobs are loud

yours aren't

And you just lie there

you're afraid to touch him

the most you do is move him gently so he doesn't fall out of the bed

and he screams

until the sun rises

and archie gets back

He quiets down right about then

ANYWAY

ARCHIE ISN’T SURE WHAT HAPPENED TO DOUXIE

His captors didn’t really film anything

There aren’t too many records

But

What evidence he does find suggests that douxie was poisoned as well as tortured

Archie is determined to figure out what poison is in his boy’s system, and the cure for whatever poison it may be

And he’s ready to take off

But you have one more question for him

"Hey, Arch, has Douxie ever- does Douxie have a history of sleepwalking?"

the answer is no

SO!

it must be a poison thing!

Yay?

That night, archie takes off to find a cure

And the next day, douxie still doesn’t wake up

you make the dangerous decision to try and feed him, since he hasn’t eaten since who knows when

It almost works until he throws it all up

There’s a bit of blood in there, too

For seasoning, ig

It landed in the bucket, though, so it isn’t too hard to clean up

After that, you notice that douxie's running a bit of a fever

so, you do what you can to amend that

and you try to get this boy some water

so he can hydrate before he diedrates

but, ah

while you're in the kitchen, getting water

you hear him get up

and you're like

"OH FUCK, HE'S AWAKE"

so, you spin around, ready to run down the hall

But there’s no need

Douxie is right behind you.

his eyes are closed.

you don't think he's opened them since you found him.

so uh

needless to say, you are a bit spooked

you drop the glass of water you were holding

you're very careful to step over it when you take douxie back to bed

alas, he vomits again before you can get him there, so you're like, "ok, we're making a quick stop in the bathroom"

and you do

you run out into the hall for a second, while he’s in the bathroom, just to get some towels

and when you do

you step on glass.

which, if you'll remember, was broken in the kitchen

Not In Your Hallway

you don't know how it got there

but you do know it hurts

you also know that douxie is still throwing up in the bathroom

rip douxie

so, uh

You go to join him

You put a towel over his shoulders because he's cold again

You rub his back for a minute

and then you get to work on the glass in your feet

once that's done, and once douxie is done vomiting

and also, once the glass is swept up

you get douxie back to bed

he actually rests this time

he almost looks peaceful

It brings you some, uh

Peace of mind

you go about your day more or less normally

just

tending to douxie as you need to

a few days go by like that, with the only interruptions being screaming fits and vomiting

and then you go to change the bandages you put on him

and he wakes up

and he looks

terrified

he yells at you

to stay away from him

that he knows you aren't real

that none of this is

And it breaks your heart

you just

you want to hold him

to dry his tears and let him know that you're real, and this is real, and he's safe

But

You can’t touch him

You don’t know what he’ll do

You try to talk him down

Just

"Shhh, sh sh sh, it's okay, you're okay, I swear you're okay, I promise"

And like

He doesn’t calm down all the way

but he doesn't look like he'll attack you anymore

So that’s good

you reach out

And

He lets you touch him

You put your hands on his shoulders

And you just

Hold him

And you feel him relax into your embrace

and you can feel him shake as he sobs into your shoulder

and you're sobbing, too

It’s okay

He’s safe now

You both are

You run your hands up into his hair

and you kiss him

everywhere you can reach

his jawline, his cheeks, his temples

which is a bit of a stretch because he is tall

his neck, and his shoulders

everywhere you can reach

and in between those kisses, you keep saying

"It's okay, it's okay, you're safe now, you're safe"

and he just repeats

"I'm safe. I'm safe."

his voice is rough from disuse

you can feel the vibrations when you kiss him

and he's so warm

and his arms are around you

and everything is ok

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd then he needs to sit down again

but it's ok

you sit beside him and just

rest your head on his shoulder

and he's running his fingers through your hair

and his eyes are closing

and you whisper

as to not ruin the gentle mood

"Hey... I know it might be a little early to ask... but could- could you tell me what happened?"

and you're right

it's too early

he can't

but you're ok with that

so you just

lie down with him

and you both fall asleep

when you wake up

you wake up to see him staring at you

and you smile and brush a strand of hair out of his eyes

and then you realize

he isn't smiling

he's shaking.

he might or might not be having a seizure

And it might or might not be poison related

so you jump up, freak out

and try to deal with this

by the time he's recovered, you're crying

and you

you ask if he's ok

you ask what happened

And again

He can’t answer you

so you just

run your fingers through his hair until he goes back to sleep

then you get up

go about your day

archie stops by to let you know that no, what poison is running through douxie’s system yet, but he's trying

and you're thankful for it

You also let archie know that douxie’s awake, and arch visits his boi for a bit

they're happy to see each other, of course

Archie just sits in douxie’s lap and purrs

you let them have their space

In the meantime, you walk into the kitchen, fully intending to make some tea

But uh

one of your windows is broken.

Weird

There’s more glass on the floor

you're gonna have to start wearing shoes, lol

But anyway, you clean up the glass

Archie heads out, not without giving you a little headbutt

It’s cute

that night, you sleep by douxie's side again

when you wake up

he's staring at you

...

he is

his eyes are

so beautiful

but they're so empty

it's like he's seeing right through you

it breaks your heart

And then

They shut again

you kiss his forehead and get out of bed

you get yourself some water

You go back to douxie

and just

watch him sleep for a bit

that's when something shatters in the next room

You go to check it out

And

the mirror in your bathroom is broken.

that's

normal?

you trace the cracks with your finger

your reflection is distorted

and as you focus on your face

douxie's reflection appears beside yours

it spooks your for a second

but when you realize it's him, you chill out

You’re about to say his name, but

you don't even have time to turn around

He kisses your neck, gently

runs his hands up and down your arms

and thanks you for taking such good care of him

you laugh and you're like

"It's no problem."

and he fuckin

"Are you sure? It's rotten work-"

to which you can only respond

"Not to me, not if it's you."

then you kiss him

The kiss starts out slow

but it gets more heated as you go

his hands are running through your hair

yours are on his chest

and then

something breaks in the kitchen

you run in and a bunch of cups are broken

you look for a culprit

but there's nothing but a small black rat in the corner

it yeets away before you can do anything about it

So uh

you’re freaking out a little bit

but douxie calms you down

he just

rubs your arms

pulls you against him

kisses your head

and tells you that everything will be ok

that you're safe

because taking care of you, and of the glass, is his job now, not yours

He promises he'll help you clean it up tomorrow

but for tonight

he gets you back to bed

in the morning, he keeps his promise

you

really don't know how he made cleaning up glass fun

but he did it!

And since he did that

You now trust him enough to leave him home while you go out and get groceries

yayyy groceries

anyway

You go home, and

and your house is a fucking mess

and you're like

"nani the fuck?"

you find douxie and archie just

in the middle of the living room

looking exhausted

and you're like

"guys, what the fuck???"

BASICALLY

THEIR STORY IS

they saw the rat

and douxie tried to chase it (without magic) to get it outside

while trying to keep archie from munching on it

douxie has a bite mark on his right hand to prove it.

A bite mark from, quote

“Where I (Douxie) tried to grab the rat”

so you're like

"oh, jeez, let's get that cleaned out"

and you go into your bathroom and

the mirror's gone

and douxie's like

"yeah, no, I chucked that out for you. didn't want you to get hurt”

and you're like

"awwwwww"

And then, because he kinda

Wrecked your cabin and feels bad about it

Douxie makes you dinner

and so!

he!

cooks for you!!

and you just

wrap your arms around his waist while he stirs things

and he does the thing where he lets you taste it early

What he’s making doesn’t matter

Though personally, i think it’s soup

But that doesn’t really matter, what matters is

HE KISSES U WHILE HE'S MAKIN IT :D

Anyway, halfway through the soup process, also known as, the soupening

archie calls you into the living room

You kiss douxie “goodbye” and then you go assist archie

Who really just needed you to clean off his glasses

Which he could not do

Without thumbs

Rip archie

Anyway

After that you make your glorious return to the kitchen

You kiss your boyfriend many more times

and then dinner's ready

so y'all go to eat

and the soup!

is so good!

until there's glass in it.

you didn't notice until it was

y’know

in your mouth

But yeah, no, you were just trying to eat, and the next thing you knew

Your mouth tasted like blood

and douxie

feels

so guilty

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry my love, I thought I got all the glass-!"

you try to assure him it's ok

but there is

blood and glass in ur mouth

oops

so douxie helps you up and takes you to the bathroom

he finds some tweezers and

because there's no mirror

he has to get the glass out for you

and he's so

gentle about it

The feeling of his hands on your jaw, it just

it makes you relax

Eventually you just flop onto him

He carries you to bed

kisses you

lets you rest

and when you wake up in the morning, he's awake before you are

and he would've made you breakfast in bed, but y'know

glass

instead he's just

watching you sleep

he has a book in his hands

A book that belongs to you

now

the thing about the book

AND TUNE IN KIDS, BC I'M ABOUT TO BREAK YOUR HEART WITH FLUFF

the thing about the book

is that douxie wrote it

he started writing it in ye olde times

two? centuries after merlin hit the hay?

thing is, the book is old

Very old

Now, i’d let you guess what’s in it, but i tried that in a discord server, and someone guessed “glass” so

I’ll just tell you

it's poetry

Poetry, song lyrics

Etc.

The other thing about this book is that uh

Douxie didn’t actually want you to have it

Not at first, at least

you had to gently bully him into letting you see it

and when you finally got to see it

you loved it

you would just

sit next to him and read his poetry for hours

eventually, douxie left the book with you

(he wanted it to be with someone who loved it)

And all of the poems

Are just

So sweet

Or wildly creative

And they’re in his handwriting

and whenever he wasn't around you'd just

trace the pages with your fingers

resting them where his hands had been

you

you're very in love with him

And every time he visited you

he would write a new poem

And he did this until the book was full

and the very last poem in the book

was about you

Specifically about how douxie was and is in love with you, and had been for the past few centuries

it’s how he confessed his feelings

yeah, you kissed him pretty hard during his next visit

anyway

he's holding that book now

lying on the bed, facing you

And suddenly he says

"This thing is falling apart. We should throw it out."

So uh

That’s a bit of a

What do they call them?

Red flags, right?

Yeah

That’s a bit of a huge fucking red flag

because douxie

your douxie

the man you love

would never suggest that

so you get up and you're like

"hahaha, no"

You reach over for the book

and he pulls it out of your grasp

with a little fuckin smirk on his face.

you reach for it again, and he pulls it away like before, but you manage to grab onto it

“I don’t want to get rid of it.”

So, douxie

Still smirking

Lets you pull the book from his hand

The cover shifts.

And your heart shatters

And like

Part of you is thinking about how douxie would never do this

But mostly

You’re thinking about getting your book fixed

You turn away from douxie completely, your attention now fully on the book

The cover of which

Is a little fucked up

And you

You’re almost in tears over it

You hug the book to your chest

And you feel douxie’s hands on your shoulders

As he hugs you to his chest

And he says

“Relax my darling, it’s just a book”

And uh

You more or less go

“Douxie would never????” internally

And

You realize

That douxie wouldn’t throw out your mirror, either- not without asking you first

You also realize that there’s no way he’d “accidentally” get glass in your food

He works at a cafe ffs

And

As you watch douxie’s hands moving up and down your arms

You remember the bite on his right hand

The hand he tried to grab something with

Douxie is left handed.

And finally

You realize

As he hugs you to his chest

And wraps his arms around you

Your Hisirdoux Casperan smells like cloves.

Whoever this man is.

Whatever this man is.

He does not smell like cloves.

You drop the book.

And like

You’re freaking out on the inside

Of fucking course you are, there’s an imposter among u

But you can't confront him now

You don’t know how dangerous this stranger is

You act your fucking ass off

“You’re right. It’s just an old book. Let’s go to bed, my love.”

You lie down next to him

And you plan to get up

You plan to get up and get a weapon

Or just to get out

But

You fall asleep

And when you wake up

It’s dark

It’s late

and douxie is on the ceiling, grinning at you with a smile that stretches much too far across his face

So, uh

He crab walks down the ceiling at you

His mouth opening wider than it should as his head jerks at an impossible angle to face you

You fucking run

You grab douxie’s book

And you run

You yeet out to the front yard, and archie’s walkin up like nothing is wrong

So you fucking

Grab the cat and go

You get in your car and you hit the fuckin gas

And everything is fine!

You’re safe in the car, with Archie :)

And you turn to arch and you go

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that wasn't douxie"

You’re fucking crying

You’re scared

And you’re upset

you're not having a good time

You’re actively sobbing as you try to warn archie about not!douxie

And that fucking cat

Turns to you and says

“I know.”

You turn to look at him, shocked and horrified that he knew

Shocked and horrified that he let you kiss this monster

That he let you share your bed with a stranger

And he didn’t fucking tell you what he knew

But when you turn to look, you don’t see archie

You see a Big.

Black.

Rat.

…

You’re a little shaken

But in your horror, you form a plan

As the rat’s mouth splits open, just as douxie’s had, you crash your car into the trees on the side of the road

the airbags deploy and you get time to escape

With, of course, the book

You sprint into the trees

Running as fast as you can with no direction

with no goal, no nothing other than to escape

tears stream down your face, the book is clenched tightly in your hands

You run

Deeper and deeper into the forest

Until you’re too exhausted to do anything but walk

And once your pace slows, you hear screams

And fuck

It sounds like him

And you want it to be him

Like a fool

You run towards the screams

And you see someone

You see him

He’s crawling towards you, and his face is normal

And you want to run to him, but something holds you back

And that’s a damn good thing

because the thing that isn't douxie, and never was, sprints towards you

You run again

You run, and run, and run

and something keeps swooping at your head

And uh

Something tells you that’s the thing that pretended to be archie

You keep running

And you keep hearing screams

And eventually

you break down and sob because all we can hear is Douxie screaming

The man you love- all you can hear is his pain

His anguish

And you

You know, deep down

That whatever is doing this to you

Did this to him

And it killed him

And that

Breaks us

You also realize it must’ve killed archie, which just sucks

Because you loved archie, too

You just breakdown in the forest

Until the screaming stops

And when you look up

You see a building

Lit warmly from the inside

As you stand, the world seems to shift

You stumble towards the building

You open the door

And it reveals a hallway

You lean against the walls

And stumble down the corridor, book still clutched to your chest

And then

You come to the end

And it leads to a big cavernous room

Where douxie is chained against the wall

And archie is caged beside them

You make your way towards them

You’re limping and gasping, trying not to die

And then

Just as you reach your boys

Douxie looks at you

This smile is just a little too big for his face

The room dissolves

And you’re left alone in the woods again

That’s a lot to take in

You collapse to the ground

And the book happens to slip from your grasp

You hear someone behind you

Their footfalls are heavy on the fallen leaves that blanket the forest floor beneath your back

You reach out for the book

You grab it

You open it

What’s in the book?

…

Nothing.

The book is empty.

you sit back up and flip violently through the pages

The book is fine, although it is empty

You hear the footsteps again and you turn around

And who else could it be?

It’s him.

He’s there.

Archie’s on his shoulder.

And we just ask, “What- what is this-?”

We don’t get an answer.

Douxie charges

He twists and falls to the ground and sprints at you

…

And you slap him in the face with the book.

It runs at you again and smack

Book

You defend yourself for a good five minutes, all with the book

And like

It’s cute

Or sad, depending on who you ask

(i think it’s cute)

because you're defeating an evil version of douxie with something the real douxie used to love you

it's like he's fighting with you

he's by your side, even in presumable death :)

Ok, yeah, the last one’s sad

But anyway, i digress

there's only so much you can do against those two with a book

and eventually, archie knocks you down

And douxie

grabs you by the throat

He lifts you

(in the air, by your throat)

you drop the book

And it says

"Is this worth it, Casperan? Is a tiny piece of information really worth the life of the one you love?"

And it squeezes

it squeezes and squeezes

Until you hear

In his voice

"ENOUGH!"

Quickly followed by

"I'll tell you! I'll tell you, just- let them go, please-"

you're dropped on the ground

your world goes black, but your eyes aren't closed

when you get your vision back, the world is white

And it’s

Way too bright

you gasp for air and your body thrashes

you're restrained

and you're coughing

and when the coughing fit subsides enough for you to see clearly

You see him

Your him

Douxie

Also, Archie, Archie is there. His glasses are gone, but he’s there!

And as good as it is to see him, your eyes are on Douxie

And his time

you can tell it's him

because he has murder in his eyes

because you've been hurt

he's yours

and he loves you

…

He’s also been tortured

Just

Btw

Like, his chest is fucking marred

Covered with blood and bruises

He’s been burnt, stabbed, beaten

And judging by some of the marks on his side, he’s apparently been whipped

You want to run to him

You want to hold him

But you remember what happened last time

You would run to him

But uh

That whole mess has made you weary

Also, you’re restrained

And uh

There’s actually some glass in the way

You and douxie are on either sides of an interior window

You’re chained up on one side, he’s on the other

And on both sides, there are several screens

The demon’s face smiles at you from each and every one.

On those screens, you can see yourself being strangled

And uh

It’s fucking you up a little

Anyway

You’re freed

Your body drops to the ground and you just

Can’t move

You’re so tired

You can hear douxie’s voice from the other room

"Let them go first."

It’s, in your dazed opinion, a reasonable enough request

But it’s met with

"Tell us first, or we send them back and let it finish them off."

From another voice, presumably your captor

You hear your wizard’s voice again

“Fine. Come closer.”

You hear him whisper something, and then

Your captor laughs

And says

“Good… Kill them.”

You hear douxie scream in response

It’s an enraged, desperate sound

And

It sets you off

In your hands

You manifest something

It’s the mother fucking book

and

When you’re attacked

You kick some mother fucking ass

Douxie is still restrained, but he’s proudly going “THAT’S MY PARTNER” internally, if not externally

You beat the shit out of anyone who even tries to lay a finger on you

And then

You break the glass

(preferably by slamming some guy’s head against it)

Once the glass is suitably broken

You jump through the window

on the other side, you kick a little more ass before freeing douxie

And then

He protects you

And archie

And then, you all break out

You steal a car from those assholes and y’all fucking bolt

eventually, you get far enough away, and you pull over on the side of the road

You move to put your hand on douxie’s

And

He flinches

So you stop

And he just

Apologizes

To which you respond

"It's not your fault, love.... I- It is you, right?"

And he says, "Yes! Yes, it is me, I... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

And he just

Repeats it

He repeats the words “I’m sorry”

Over and over and over

And you

Get out of the car

and gesture for him to do the same

And he does

The apologies are halted for the moment

You

Walk over to him

Your way lit by the car’s headlights

And

You stand

Facing him

And this motherfucker apologizes

Again

And that

Is when you reach out to touch him

And he lets you

Your hands move over his skin, careful not to hit the wounds that have been carved into his chest

You’re focused on that

And that’s when you hear him say

"I-I won't make you take care of me. I don't want you to go through that again, or even feel like you-"

You say his name and it shuts him up

You place your hands on his jawline, gently

And you say

"Someone told me this is rotten work... but you know it isn't to me. Not if it's you... really you."

He smiles

And his smile is normal

There are tears in his eyes, and you can tell he loves you

And carefully, he pulls you closer to him

His lips brush past your cheek as he leans in

And he whispers

The poem he wrote about you

And you smile

I mean, you’re glowing, but it’s a normal smile

You take your hands from their place on his jaw, and you bring him closer

And you kiss him

your hands run up into his hair and his arms wrap around your waist

And he kisses you back

you part for a moment, just long enough for his forehead to rest against yours

And for both of you to smile

Before he kisses you again

And then, you’re crying

He’s crying

And you’ve stopped kissing, and he’s just

Holding you

Archie curls around you both

You all hold each other until the tears stop

You pull away, slightly, though your arms are still wrapped around Douxie’s neck

You let out a tearful laugh

"We're gonna have to get you fixed up, huh?"

He hums

And then you add

“We should also get you a shirt.”

Douxie laughs, and kisses your neck until you’re laughing too

And then

You go

The three of you run off into the night

You’re safe

They’re safe

And you’re okay

And yet, neither of you realize that the demon has been released

#whumptober #whumptober 2021 #douxie x reader #hisirdoux casperan x reader #douxie headcannons #hisirdoux x reader #douxie x y/n #hisirdoux x y/n

84 notes · View notes

say-narry · 3 years

Text

Characters: Harry!boyfriend x reader

Word count: ~1.8K

Tags: insinuations, masturbation, explicit sex

Quotes: 5. "The noises you make are amazing" / 21. "Lie down and touch yourself. I want to watch."

Author's note: English isn't my first language, tell me if you enjoyed

Versão em pt-br

Touch yourself

Harry's house was the best place in the world.

Because of the extensive area, with high walls and almost isolation, we could scream and moan as loudly as we could and as much as we could.

Harry loved this show and so did I. He was on vacation, a fortnight away from the show.

He was on vacation, 15 days to be exact. I had also taken a leave of absence from work and my college was once a week, so we could be stuck with each other all the time.

Today would be no different.

It was late Friday night, we had made a carbonara and red wine.

We talked about his next movie, about his band, about Mitch's son, and about my college.

It was so nice to live with Harry in that way. He was witty, he always made me laugh, and we were good together, in bed and out.

Harry went through the streaming catalog and nothing, he went through the animated movies but we had seen almost all of them, horror movies were not a good choice because I had frequent nightmares, until he came to one: 365 dni.

I had seen this movie before, Massimo was mafia and had kidnapped Laura, who in turn resisted the temptation to fuck him and in the end they fell in love.

The plot was not so good, but the explicit scenes were to be given a standing ovation.

"How about it?" Harry suggested with a mischievous little smile on his lips, I agreed as if I hadn't noticed that.

I continued with my glass of wine in one hand while scrolling through social media on my smartphone with the other. I was sitting next to Harry on the huge black couch, who was lying down and patting my bent knee.

Every now and then I would look at the screen, the actor Michele Morrone was showing off his tattoos and fit body, I wouldn't be crazy to deny how gorgeous he was.

"Do you think he's handsome?" I heard Harry's voice and turned my face quickly, I didn't know if it was embarrassment or the wine, but my cheeks heated up.

"You don't think so?"

"Don't answer one question with another, lovie." Her eyes closed minimally and her dimples showed.

"I think, this man must do some damage." I teased Harry, who crossed his arms and sat down on the couch, staring at me in an indignant way.

"What about me, Y/N?" His voice came out squeaky, which made him scratch his throat making me laugh.

"What about you?" I turned my attention back to my cell phone. We had always been very free to talk about sex, no wonder Harry wrote about it in his songs.

"I also do damage in bed, your squirts are proof of that." His hand that was on my knee, went to my thigh, closer to my spot.

"I never denied that, Harry." I blocked the cell phone and climbed into his lap. He was wearing a pair of shorts and was apparently without underwear, because as soon as our privates made contact, I could tell his cock was already a little perky. "But what do you say we test something?" I put my hair to the side and my hands on his shoulders, my right hand pulling his head to the side, giving me room to take advantage of his exposed neck.

I moaned softly and rolled over once, which was enough for Harry's hands to grab my waist and press me down further, making me feel his member even more.

"Anything you want, baby." Harry moaned with his eyes closed and I licked his neck before branding him.

I moved up to his marked jaw. I could hear the movie in the background, but I didn't care, Harry's uncompressed breathing was what mattered.

"I want you to masturbate for me." I spoke softly in his ear and Harry's fingers gripped my ass, digging his fingers into my flesh.

"Volvyer?" His question came out in a whisper and I agreed with a grunt.

I had already done this on video call, I spread my legs and deleted myself with my own fingers while Harry masturbated his own cock on the tour bus. He owed me one.

Within minutes, his clothes were on the floor and I was still only in my panties and bra. I ran my wet panties over his semi-erect cock, moving it back and forth.

I couldn't wait to feel him stretching and thrusting until I was senseless, but I would like to have that scene in my head.

"Do it for me, baby. I licked his lips and pulled him with my teeth "Lie down and touch yourself. I want to watch."

I left a kiss on his mouth and sat down next to Harry, touching my clit under my panties.

Harry grabbed his long pink member, moving it from top to bottom, biting his lower lip and sometimes seeing his belly flex momentarily, due to the excitement coursing through his cock.

I continued massaging my clit, Harry could see my act, so much so that his empty hand reached out and pulled my panties aside.

"Baby..." he moaned.

"Come on baby, I'm so wet for you, do this for your lovie..." I tapped my wet center, evidencing what I was saying.

My blood shot out of my chest and I could see the pre-cum dripping from the head of Harry's cock. It was beautiful to see his lips and the head of his cock in the same color, it was sexy and exciting.

I saw Harry's member get a little bigger, his right hand that was on it already showed the bulging veins, the sound of the humidity was louder than the sound of the TV. Harry laid his head down and his hand took more precise movements "Y/N... I want to fuck you so hot..." Harry's chest was already sweating, his cock was shiny from excitement and at times I saw his hips lift off the couch as he tried to take more friction from his own hand. "I thought of my pussy squeezing you baby, you know how hot and tight I am...you make me so full..." Harry's mouth opened and his hand quickened.

I had stopped touching myself to enjoy the scene, but Harry's fingers moved under my spot very slowly, making me spread my legs even wider.

Harry was sweating, his breathing was ragged, his eyes closed with a frown on his forehead and his mouth still ajar. "Oh Hazz..." I moaned rolling around in his fingers as I gripped the couch cushions.

It was the sight of the highest carnal pleasure.

"Oh... I'm going to cum..." Harry moaned and I plucked up courage and sat down next to him, I placed my hand over his and settled down kissing his neck. "The noises you make are amazing..." I moaned and soon the the liquid of Harry's arousal was all over my hand, his cock with bulging veins was hot and heavy, sometimes I ran my thumb over his glans and he stretched his legs in a spasm and opened his mouth even wider. "Do you want to cum, Harry?"

He nodded in agreement as my movements became slower "Yes Y/N, please, I beg you, I was a good boy!" Harry moaned desperately and arched his hips again "My good little boy..." I sped up my movements on Harry's cock and my other hand returned to my clit.

Within minutes, we both let out moans in unison in the room, Harry's cock was spasming as he released his thick, white leitinho as I felt my panties get completely wet.

"Ohh... ohh... oohh" Harry grabbed my hand that was making the last movements on his cock and squeezed it, in a kind of milking.

Harry's toes had curved, his cum dripping down onto his abdomen and now with his eyes open, you could see his pupils dilated and his breathing deep.

I ran my index finger in my mouth and sucked it staring at him, still with my head lying on the couch next to him, thanks to Harry's fruit diet, its taste was pleasant.

"Did you like it?" Harry asked and I agreed, a little soft from the recent orgasm "You teased me too much, we make a great team..."

"We are Harry..." I closed my eyes and heard I see red playing in the background.

"Baby..." Harry called out to me.

"Yes, honey?" Sleep had caught up with me after all this effort with relaxation.

"I'm going to buy us a boat."

I still kept my eyes closed, but I could see the scenes in replay and Harry's mischievous smile as he said it... and I definitely wasn't going to complain about being Harry's Laura.

#fanfic harry styles #one shot harry styles #harry styles fanfic #imagine harry styles #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles imagines #prompt harry styles

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spunkpunx · 3 years

Text

Say You Love Me - Jimmy Darling

Plot: Reader is heartbroken when she hears Jimmy has lost his hands, but when they're replaced he decides to make up for lost time

Word count: 3105

Warnings: Smut, Smoking, Mild violence

The words hit me like a ton of bricks when Dell brought the news. Jimmy's hands were gone. My Jimmy's hands were gone. Taken. That no good piece of shit Richard Spencer and his lies. I couldn't believe Elsa had fallen for his bollocks, but I supposed that was his game. The rest of the freaks stood in shock.

"Oh no, not Jimmy!" Ima cried over dramatically. I felt my blood boil. My skin crawled as she wailed. I felt my ears burn up with my rage. She'd been here not five minutes and here she was, caterwauling over what they had done to him. I couldn't out loud admit what I felt about Jimmy, but I sure as hell could let it be known how I felt about her. I ran at her and swung one hard punch to the side of her head. The force did not knock her over, but the shock certainly did.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I spat out the words repeatedly as I continued to hit her face and chest once she had fallen. I felt my eyes prick as I screamed at her, before Paul and Eve pulled me away. The second the anger cleared I collapsed in tears. Penny came over to me as Eve followed Dell out the tent. She held me tight as I sobbed into her chest. Ima was taken out the tent, bloodied and bruised and sniveling. I lifted my head only to spit in her direction.

"Shh, shh," Penny cooed, stroking my hair.

"What have they done to him?" I whimpered, my voice coming out far more feeble and cracked then I had ever heard it. "How's he going to survive in there without his hands?"

"I don't know," Penny told me, honestly. "I'm sure he'll find a way."

She took me back to my caravan and I poured myself a drink. I pulled an ashtray out the cupboard and lit a cigarette.

"You don't have to watch over me Penny. I'm sure you probably best go check on your man."

"I don't want to leave you like this," she admitted, sat delicately on the edge of my bed. She was still so beautiful, despite the lizard tattoo, and so kind as well. I couldn't bear to be around anyone at the minute though.

"I'll be fine," I told her softly, but when she didn't move I snapped at her. "Piss off! I don't want you here!" I hadn't meant to be so harsh, but she gathered herself up and left. I knocked back my drink in one. It burned my eyes and stung my throat but I hoped for my own sake it would help me sleep.

I went through more alcohol and more cigarettes. My ashtray overflowed. My head was spinning as I reached toward the bottom of the bottle. With my head heavy I fell over into my bed and pulled the covers round myself, only bothering to clumsily remove my shoes before shutting my eyes tight and trying to forget my thoughts. I lay there, my mind playing a reel of horrors of what could have happened to Jimmy. I pictured him beaten in a jail cell, battered to death like Meep was, or sat in despair at his own situation. I knew he couldn't have killed those women, even if he didn't, because he was here in this caravan when it happened. I knotted my fingers into my hair, reeling drunk. I was just as bad as he had been.

I eventually passed out, but kept waking, sweaty and restless after nightmares. At one point my stomach turned and I chugged up my guts off the side of my bed. I rolled back over after that and caught half an hours rest before I woke again. The night went on like that until the sun rose and Eve came in to get me up.

"Oh sweetheart," she muttered upon seeing my sorry state. She delicately picked her way to the bed past the vomit and brought me out of bed to go sit on the seat I had. I blubbered pathetically while she tossed a towel over my mess and brought me a glass of water. I was still slightly drunk, but tried to be as co-operative as possible. Eve sat next to me, pulling me in for a hug while I continued to feel like a maudlin burden on her. She took me over to have breakfast with the others, and I hiccuped my way through some bread and butter, as everyone threw pitiful stares my way. I began to sober up.

"I'm sorry, Eve. I'm sorry I'm so useless."

"Don't be silly, come with me," she directed, taking my hand and leading me away from the show ground. As we walked further away I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"It's awful nice of you to try cheer me up but I'd rather not go anywhere," I told Eve, following her through the undergrowth. We passed the spot where Ethel had ended her life, which brought back more memories of how Jimmy had been after she passed. My eyes welled, but I tried hard to keep it suppressed. I didn't want anyone to think I was being such a pathetic mess over Jimmy Darling. I didn't want to be another of the freaks that he's fucked and now loves him.

"It's Elsa who said you ought to come here," Eve explained. It was probably her plan to distract me from my wallowing, or punish me for what I did to Ima. I expected hard labour ahead of me. We reached a small barn with the doors locked. Eve produced a key, unlocking the chains. "Now listen. Elsa says its your job to look after him," she instructed pulling the door open to let me see inside. It took me a minute to realise there was a bed, a bed and a familiar face.

"Jimmy!" I gasped, rushing to his side. I burst into tears again, this time from pure relief. "Oh baby your hands!"

By his side lay two bloodied stumps wrapped in bandage. His eyes filled with tears when he looked at me.

"Princess I haven't ever seen you cry before," he told me lightheartedly, but his voice cracked and he wept. I placed my hand on his face and he leaned into my touch as I wiped his tear with my thumb. I turned back to give Eve a thank you but she had left. I turned to Jimmy.

"I thought you were gonna be gone forever," I told him, sniffling.

"Me too baby." I bent down and pressed my lips down against his. We shared a salty kiss. I felt him flinch hard and cut off the kiss when he lifted his arm hold me. He immediately broke down in tears again. "I'm never going to be able to hold you again," he whimpered, and I sensed that there was certainly more to it than that. It stung to see him in such a sorry state.

"Oh Jimmy don't upset yourself," I tried to comfort him. "I have to change your bandages. Okay?" He shook his head. "I let you do it for me," I reminded him.

"Well you have no fucking idea how much it hurts," he snapped. I understood his frustration, but I couldn't help but pull away, hurt. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry (y/n), I just... I just don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Hold, still." I ran my hand down his arm slowly until I reached the bandage trying to cause minimum pain. I unwrapped it slowly, Jimmy putting on a brave face. As I pulled the bloodied part away from his wound he flinched and gritted his teeth. "This is really gonna sting," I warned as I poured alcohol onto cotton to clean his injury. He bit down on his pillow and nodded for me to go ahead. I wiped it as gently as I could and tried to ignore his muffled howl. "I'm sorry." He let the pillow from his teeth.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, doll," he assured, breathless from pain. I took his stump in my hands, wrapping it in bandage.

"I tried to tell the police it wasn't you, but they wouldn't listen."

"It might have been me, I was there, I was blind drunk."

"It wasn't, Jimmy. You were in my caravan. You said you loved me."

"I do." He looked at me sincerely. I avoided his eye, focusing my attention back to binding up his arm.

"You don't Jimmy, you love Maggie, you only wanted me because you were scared she might leave you and you thought I wouldn't." I sighed.

"That's not true, I kept coming back because I love you." Tears pricked my eyes again. He probably thought Maggie had left and was settling for me. I tied off the bandage and he raised his arm up to my face, sucking in his breath sharply as his stump brushed my cheek. "And you love me too."

"No, I don't," I lied. He watched me, his stare breaking me apart like it always had.

"Paul came by before you. I haven't seen you cry once before, (y/n), but he said you have been tearful all morning. He also told me about Ima," he teased, smugly. I didn't know it was possible to sound both so weak and so smug at the same time.

"I was worried, it doesn't mean-"

"Please just tell me it does. Just tell me you love me, it's all I ever wanted to hear." I let out a breath I never realised I was holding.

"I love you, Jimmy Darling." He smiled at me. I reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it before taking a few draws. I put it between his lips for him so he could take a puff.

"Look at me," he complained. "Can't even hold my own cigarette."

"Hush now Jimmy. Things will take time," I reassured him, to little effect. We shared the rest of the cigarette and I moved round to change the bandage on the other side. Jimmy didn't speak until I'd finished and stood up to leave.

"Thank you, (y/n)," he said sincerely. I went back to his bedside, leaned down a pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'll be here to change your bandages again tomorrow," I told him softly.

Although Elsa had not left, she had still sold the show to Chester, who although had a definite screw loose, seemed harmless enough. He was bright, chirpy and certainly not bossy. His odd qualities only came from the wooden ventriloquist doll he was so attached to. The twins seemed quite smitten with him, and, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were screwing him.

I was civil with Maggie after her trickery, especially knowing how difficult the world could be, but Jimmy had far from forgiven her. This was a hard situation to negotiate. She had asked about him, and I knew she cared, but Jimmy was set in his hatred of her. It was hard to sympathise with a woman who had been part in a scheme resulting in the death of Ma Petite and the loss of Jimmy's hands. For the most part I told the truth. Jimmy was not going to soften any time soon.

I apologised to Ima too, hard as it was. She didn't really take my apology, but it hardly bothered me. It was mainly for the sake of the others, and to keep the peace.

That night, Dell was shot. He, it turned out, had been the one to kill Ma Petite. I felt bad for his death. As shitty as his actions were, I always felt he was trying his hardest for a better life. Still, killing another freak was unforgivable, and Ma Petite was innocence itself. It was my job to deliver the news to Jimmy, which was horrible.

"He was my father!"

"I know Jimmy! I'm sorry!"

"Don't you dare start apologising for those murderers, (y/n)!"

"Jimmy he killed Ma Petite!" I ended up snapping. "He killed an innocent and he paid the price." Jimmy broke down into tears again, and I ended up wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm losing everything."

"Come on, baby. It hurts to see you cry so much," I mumbled into his neck. He sobbed into my shoulder.

"Don't ever leave me (y/n). Don't ever break my heart.”

The day Jimmy's hands were ready was the happiest I had seen him in months. I came into the barn again to see him, when I spotted him sat on the bed. The moment he saw me he stood up and rushed toward me. I opened my arms to him and he caught me in his grasp, lifting me off my toes. He kissed me, properly. His dark eyes seemed full of hope. I took his arms from around me and held one of his new hands in mine. Mr. Dolcefino had created perfect wooden hands, still with Jimmy's finger shapes. They were works of art.

"They're beautiful, baby," I told him, smiling.

"They ain't half as functional as they were, but my hands have never looked so good."

"Your hands always looked good." I kissed him again, harder this time. He pulled me flush against him.

"It kills me I can't touch you the same baby," he told me, running his wrists down my side in place of his hands.

"I don't care, Jimmy. I love you," I said, and it was the first time I'd said it since he asked me to. He pulled me in again for another kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth and pushing the backs of my knees against the bed. "Easy tiger," I teased.

"I haven't held you in so long (y/n)," he replied, pushing himself even closer to me, my body flush with his own. I felt him, hard against my thigh. I kissed him again, hard, and let him push me onto the bed, his own weight on top of mine. He began to nip at my neck, and I sighed contentedly. He went to cup my breast with his hand, but came short when he realised his hands could not move the same, could not feel. "Baby, I'm sorry," he apologised, sitting up on his knees and pulling away. I sat up with him and put my hands around his neck, fiddling with the hair at its nape.

"You aren't giving up that easy are you?" I jibed. "After all, you have a mouth in perfect working order." He grinned at me, pulling me into another hungry kiss. He nibbled down my neck again.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to undress yourself, doll." I did as instructed, pulling my jumper over my head while Jimmy watched. He returned to kissing my collarbone as I undid my bra. His kisses travelled over my breasts, wooden hand against my side. He kissed along my chest, eventually moving to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue over it as I sighed. He bit down on it and I yelped, scolding him lightly by giving him a little slap on the arm. He grinned again at my reaction, before kissing his way down my sternum. He stopped for a second, giving me an opportunity to pull my trousers off for him. I went to pull my underwear down but he stopped me, instead using his teeth to pull them down and bringing them the rest of the way with his prosthetic. I laughed at his actions, until he buried his face into my heat, licking over my clit again and again. I felt myself get quickly wetter as he flicked his tongue up my slit. His attention went back to my clit, circling it as I dug my fingers into his hair, pulling at it and moaning as I did. I felt my cheeks flush when he came back up the bed to kiss me again, my taste still on his lips. "I'm feeling a little uncomfortable in these pants, do you think you can help doll?" he asked. I happily obliged.

"Of course baby." I pulled his shirt of his shoulders slowly, the removed his vest, taking my time to run my hands all across his chest and take it all in again. I ran my hand over his stomach and reached to palm him through his trousers. He groaned and closed his eyes. Then I took off the trousers, getting him to sit up in order to help me. I could see the shame in his eyes so as soon as they were off I kissed him hard and put my hands into his pants, stroking his cock. He let out the most delicious moan into the kiss. After a minute of this we were both desperate for it so I bit his earlobe and pulled his cock out of his pants, guiding it to the right place. He pushed into me slowly.

"Fuck," he swore, before capturing my mouth with his and thrusting again. I let out another moan into his mouth as he bit down hard on my lip. He pressed wet kisses into my neck, speeding up his thrusts with considerable lack of control. It had been a while since we had sex, so the desperation in his movements was very apparent. He let out the most beautiful gasps and moans, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers into his hair as he continued to nip and suck at my collarbone. I tugged at his brown curls and he groaned breathily. He recaptured my lips in his own and I let out a moan as he pushed deeper into me.

"Jimmy," I panted into his ear, before pulling on his earlobe with my teeth. He let out what was almost a growl and fucked me even harder. I felt myself drawing closer to finishing and let out a desperate string of swears.

“Come on, baby doll, fuckin finish for me,” Jimmy murmured deeply, kissing along my jaw and neck before biting down on my collarbone. I let out a gasp as I felt a wave of pleasure over me, clenching around him and digging my nails into his back. He kept going, his thrusts sloppy, coaxing me through my orgasm until a faltering moan fell from his lips and he pulled out, spilling his load onto my stomach. He lay on top of me, spent, and I pulled my fingers through his hair, running my nails against his scalp.

“You really love me?” I asked, as his hot breath brushed my neck. Before he answered he pressed soft kisses against my shoulder.

“Of course I do, doll face.”

#jimmy darling #jimmy darling smut #jimmy darling x reader #ahs smut #ahs freakshow #ahs x reader #evan peters #evan peters x reader #american horror story

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levicanpunchme · 3 years

Note

Hi i found your profile today and I read all of it I am SO IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING!!💕Hope u are doing well and getting enough rest!Can i please request Levixfem!reader where they watch scary movie and reader is scared during and after the horror movie maybe u can do hc with levi or one shot!If u like the idea and u are ok to do it can u put much fluff?💕🥺

Thank you for suggesting! Hope you enjoy ;)

——————————————————————

Levi X Y/N

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Warning: Contains a tiny make-out description

Movie Night Gone Right

The air seemed to be drowning in thick tension, terror bustling in your veins as you held onto the edge of your blanket. You scoffed to yourself: modern technology had really evolved so much: the large television screen amplified every emotion especially whilst watching horror movies. It felt like the heinous predators would jump out of the screen any moment, making you piss yourself.

The darkness in the room and eerie music from the television made it impossible for your mind to gravitate elsewhere. Your body was taut as you held your breath while the stupid main characters died one after another in the haunted villa.

You looked to your far right at your boyfriend, who seemed quite unaffected by the countless jump scares. Even whilst watching a terrifying movie, you didn’t see him bat an eye.

He was either too brave or-borderline sociopathic. You hoped for the former.

“Why’re you always choosing horror movies on our date nights, Levi?” You bitterly muttered, your annoyance visible in your tone. Every weekend, you both watched a new movie and he chose horror every damn time.

Your boyfriend looked away from the screen, his wolf-like eyes reading yours. His dark black hair attractively fell like curtains on his forehead, disheveled and messy.

“Because they’re fun,” he monotonously replied.

His response made you speechless. “Fun? What part of large scale man-slaughter and cannibalism, fun?” You cried, disturbed at his reasoning. Horror movies just gave you vivid nightmares and trauma. You usually spent weekend nights with Levi just because you were too scared to head back to your dorm.

Levi’s lips curled into an unapologetic smirk as he glanced back to the television screen. You glared at him narrowly and then resumed watching the movie. A few minutes in, another terrifying scream erupted from the television and your body grew cold, your blanket now scrunched within your clenched fists.

“You’re shaking,” Levi’s soft voice pulled you out of the gory massacres of the movie. He swiftly scooted closer to you as his arm found its way around the small of your back. He wrapped you close to him, your face resting against his chest.

Your chest ached with joy as you heard his heartbeat, trashing against your frame, sending vibrations through your body. His familiar soapy scent washed over you and ignited a deep fire within the pit of your stomach. Your scent mixing with his made your toes curl in pleasure. You liked stealing some of his sweatshirts to take them back to your dorm just to smell him on you. The warmth of his breath cascading down your forehead sent tingles down your spine, making your heart ache with jitters. It was the feeling of being beside him that gave you pleasure.

The movie watching experience was ten times better with Levi holding your body.

Levi’s arm around your frame never loosened. Your warmth embracing him gave him the unfamiliar feeling of a home. His head was filled with you alone, so much so that he didn’t even know who the hell the main characters were in the movie; a week of pent up frustration from not seeing you starting to quench as your warmth diffused into him, making him feel like he were a part of you.

He started dating you a few months ago and it was crazy how damn clingy he had gotten in just a matter of months. At first, he never intended on letting a woman into his territory but you defeated the strong walls that were guarding his heart. When he tasted the sweetness of your lips, he forgot every promise he had made to himself and felt his walls shatter into nothingness.

Levi wanted to snatch you away from the shackles of your university which constantly demanded your attention, keeping you busy with assignments and exams; he wished to burn the whole building down along with your dorm so you could live with him, giving him the epiphany of waking up beside you. He hated anything which took you away from him. Selfish, yes but he couldn’t help it.

He dug his nose into your silky hair, acting subtle so you wouldn’t catch onto his motives. He wanted to run his fingers down the long strands all day, but he couldn’t. No matter how weak you had him, he didn’t want that side to be seen by you.

If he scared you away with his carelessness, he’d throw himself off a rooftop.

He surveyed you, and rechecked for any signs of awareness but seeing the intense emotions in your eyes, he realised you were sucked up into the haunted world of the movie.

He silently smiled to himself and inhaled your scent. Your fragrance was so therapeutic, a fresh breeze of comfort to his exhausted body. His insides squeezed in joy. You were like a heavenly addiction, fulfilling his needs, comforting his emotions.

“Levi, that woman was the imposter all along!” Automatically, his eyes regained its indifference, the smile of his lips disintegrating as he peeled his eyes away from you to the screen.

You looked up at him while snuggling in his chest. Levi pretended to be immersed within the movie and then looked down at you; he almost stopped breathing seeing your lustrous, wide eyes looking up at him like he were the only one on this planet. His breathing became shallow as he quickly nodded, and looked away from you.

“Levi...” you noticed his heaving chest.

You stared at him doubtfully and then it dawned upon you. His eyes were cold but his body said otherwise. He was so warm and his heart was beating so heavily, your stomach flooded with a mass of butterflies.

“Levi, who’s the imposter?” Your heart was skipping a beat as you tried confirming your doubts.

He visibly froze, your question catching him off guard. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed his nervousness like a deer caught in headlights.

“Why're you asking me that? Aren’t you watching?” He counterattacked, hoping this would divert your attention.

You stared at him for a good minute and then looked at the television screen. “Yeah but I was just wondering if you ever doubted that white haired lady. She looked so innocent, asking for help and stuff.” You watched his reaction, waiting for his response.

“Yeah, didn’t expect that.”

Chills travelled down your spine as you realised what had been happening these past few weeks: why he always suggested on watching horror movies; why he kept on asking you when will your semester end; why he didn’t like going out to the shopping mall for dates. Everything started making sense.

“Levi, there is no white haired lady asking for help in this movie,” your breathy voice made him flinch and tense up. You had never seen Levi outrightly display his emotions but right now, you could see the little rims of his ears going darker red, a pool of redness pumping through his cheeks as his bottom lip trembled.

Processing, you grabbed the remote from his lap and turned the television off. Your heart was thudding against your ribs as you observed Levi’s clenched fist.

“Why’re you making me watch horror movies when you don’t like them yourself?” Your voice was so soft and airy, comforting him.

You were currently having the time of your life, watching your rigid, formal boyfriend emotionally overwhelmed and embarrassed.

“Answer me Levi,” you dared him.

He gripped his nape and sighed, his nose crinkled with reluctance. Very softly, his words held you astounded.

“So you can get scared and hide into my arms.” —you almost gasped, your body shrivelling as a feeling of mystical happiness engulfed your chest. Your heart palpitated as you stared at the man who owned your heart, feeling the corner of your eyes burn.

“Why didn’t you just—say so?” You whispered.

He looked up at you, his eyes hinting of annoyance. “Because,” he muttered, his words caught in his mouth. You waited patiently. You would wait forever for him, only Levi Ackerman.

“I don’t want to scare you off,” his white skin looked so flushed. Seeing him, your body instantly warmed up too.

“Levi,” his name fell from your mouth like butter. Then earnestly, you climbed on his lap, your leg on either sides of him, facing him. The bold response made you fluster, your cheeks flaring up as you stared into the grey mists of his eyes.

His reaction was instant. His body became taut under your heat as he gazed into your eyes with a suffocating intensity. He instinctively pulled you closer, pulling you into him. Closer, closer until two bodies mushed into one, not an inch of space left in between.

“Levi, I want to dwell you in so much love, so much affection that you might get tired of me and throw me away,” you started with confessing.

Both of you were new to a relationship; both had fears and doubts hurdling your paths. How much volume of love do we express? How much of love do we need to hold back? Is there an exact percentage? Will holding his hand make him uninterested? Will pulling you into his arms seem clingy? The questions were numerous; answers, numerous.

Levi’s chest was heaving in a way you never expected. His eyes were darker than usual, thunderously grey and passionate with a whirlwind of emotions erupting loose; his body was hotter and eyelids heavy as he stared at you with an intensity he never let you see before.

“I get excited when you call me to pick me up from uni-when you text me to remind me of our date nights, and when you let me see through your exterior, when you let me explore every side to you.”

It was taking everything in you to not run away and go into hiding. Your words were exposing the sides you kept to yourself but it was time to let go. It was time to let him know exactly who you belong to.

“Levi Ackerman, if it’s you, I’ll give up everything to be by your side.”

Your words were cut short as his hand held the back of your head and like a desperate wolf, he pulled your lips into his. Every fibre of your being sprung to life. It felt like all the happiness of the world was thrown at you so suddenly, you couldn’t contain your emotions. His moist lips feasted on your mouth and impatiently invaded you with his tongue. Your audible panting was almost embarrassing but you could hear him struggle to breath as well. While he rendered you breathless, his mouth drank from within you like a thirsty stray dog. His arms around you had you locked, unable to escape, nor did you want to.

As you panted to inhale some air, his lips peeled off your mouth, up to your eyelid; he kissed one and then the other. He was breathing so heavily with his nose, your heart faltered at the sounds. He ran his fingers down your silky hair strands and dropped tantalising kisses down your cheek, to your chin and your nose. “I-want-to-steal-you-away-from-the-world,” he confessed, in between mind numbing kisses. He then buried his nose inside the crevice of your neck, inhaling you shamelessly. “If I could, I would-absorb-you-within me,” the hurling emotions he had kept inside were pouring out like unforeseen rain.

He kissed your neckline, tasting and inhaling every inch of you. “I can’t get tired of you, y/n,” his soft words tugged at your heart, making your eyes well up. You were so overwhelmed by his love, and your love for him that your vision was becoming hazy.

“Levi, promise to share your true feelings with me?” You asked, your hand finding its way into his undercut, you pulled at his baby hairs, making his eyes screw shut in pleasure, a comforting sigh left his mouth.

He nodded, spellbound by your touch.

You edged your face closer, kissing the high bridge of his nose and each one of his eyebrows.

“So no more, horror movies?” You muttered resentfully against his lips. His eyes opened again and a soft smile illuminated his mouth as he kissed your plump lips again, not getting enough.

“No more horror movies,” he promised.

You giggled lovingly and kissed the corner of his warm mouth affectionately.

“Move in with me.”

You almost fell back, his words pushing you over the edge. You almost thought you misheard him but the glint of honesty in his eyes proved otherwise. He was dead serious.

“Uh—are you sure? I can be very annoying and lazy...” You didn’t think this was a good idea.

He cut you off, annoyance present in his narrow eyes. “I don’t care,” he rasped.

“I can also be quite messy and you don’t like mess-” You knew this excuse might make him reconsider.

His conviction remained unabated. “I’ll help you clean,” he quickly responded.

You held back your giggle. A day ago, if someone had told you that Levi Ackerman would be begging you with his narrow intimidating eyes to move in with him, you would’ve slapped them in the face for lying.

What changes could a day make...

“What if I don’t want to clean,” you pouted, deciding to tease him.

“Fine, I’ll clean for you,” he responded without hesitation and waited eagerly.

You broke into a melodious giggle which made him roll his eyes at you.

“Okay, Mr. Ackerman. I agree,” you casually responded and kissed his jawline.

Levi exuberantly stood up still carrying you in his arms as a huge grin elevated his facial features. “Let’s get your things.” He put you down on your feet and hurried to the table to grab his keys.

“Wait hold on... right now?” You stared at the clock. It was past midnight and your dormitory was probably closed.

Levi nodded eagerly. “Right now. We’ll request them to let us in.” Before you could object, he was already putting on his shoes and grabbing yours so you could gear up.

You stared at your boyfriend: he looked like an eager kid preparing to go to Disneyland after his parents promised him so. You wondered since how long had Levi put his inner childishness and love away, afraid of the consequences. And then Levi pulled you to the sofa, tying your shoes before you could change your mind and dragged you with him all the way to your dormitory in the later hours of the night. After fighting the guards and begging your dormitory manager, he successively managed to get you to pack up your belongings and come live with him starting that very auspicious movie night.

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hpalways · 3 years

Text

Conquer || Childe

Disclaimer: This is a Yandere! Childe x Reader Oneshot. There will be obsession, light gore, and death. If you are not comfortable with such topics, you do not have to read it. I would also like to put a reminder that I do not condone such behavior either, nor should toxic relationships ever be romanticized. Thank you for reading if you choose to do so!

BLADES coated of water skewered the enemy, pummeling them down mercilessly with every motion. The quick fight was soon over, so the male brushed his gloved hands together and left the vicinity, plastering a smile on his face yet again. Tartaglia had just gone on a quick errand for the Fatui, to analyze an area for their future plans. However, he ran into a little trouble there and ended up fighting monsters and whatnot.

It frustrated him, having to deal with such lowlifes. He was better than this! If it didn't provide him the thrill he was so desperate to lay hands upon, then what was the damn point? They shouldn't even be spared any time, for they forced him to dally along, which kept him away from you longer.

He combed his fingers through his red locks, sighing in the process. It was about time he began the trek back to Liyue Harbor. Lands spreading far and wide, he stayed obediently on the path and watched the peaceful birds soar through the skies. It was a very nice day today, but he felt restless anyway. The hands at the sides were twitching, nails digging sharply into the palms until blood seeped out. The pain of it did not bother him at all -- in fact, he merely enjoyed it, lips curving up into an actual smile. It made everything less pleasant, but more real.

The greenery grasslands of the wilderness faded into pavement, marked by the craft of humans. The huge structures of the city brimmed of familiarity of what he called 'home' for the past few months now. It would never truly be home of course, and it would never satisfy his wants, but it would have to do. At least you were apart of it.

His dark boots echoed upon the planked docks as he dodged the bodies milling about. The waves lapping below were as clear as the sky, reflecting against the warm sun. He knew exactly where to find you, and had sucked in a breath when he indeed saw the person he wished to see the most. [h/c] hair blowing with the wind behind, your figure was hunched down, a pair of chopsticks in your hand. You were on a lunchbreak from your job at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, so you were currently shoving down food at your favorite spot of Liyue. It was a simple place -- the edge of the dock with a good view of the sea, but it was also where you and Childe marked the first letter of your names on the rail.

"If it isn't my favorite comrade." The voice nearly sent you jumping in fright, so you whirled your head around to meet deep, blue hues. The tall male was leaning on the ledge, capturing you wholly with an unwavering gaze.

"Childe! You've returned," you said, grinning at the sight of him.

He leaned closer in, immediately causing your heart to race. Without a second to waste, he kissed you chastely, tasting you softly, in addition, the salt coming from the chicken you just ate. You instantly kissed back, cheeks warmed and lids closed, the food forgotten entirely. Body heat stemmed from him, wrapping you in a comfortable embrace. It was enough to ease your current worries, because Childe was here. The man you loved since the time of beginning... was safe and sound. It wasn't that you doubted his skills -- because he was strong -- very strong, considering he helped train you previously -- but the world out there was still terrifying. Not just that, but he could sometimes get ahead of himself; that was a call for trouble.

His kiss suddenly deepened, lips and tongue burning you until it began to eat you away. Your heart pounded ever so faster, but not in excitement -- rather in alarm. Pulling your head back from him and hungrily gulping fists of air, you averted your eyes to the waters. Despite not looking back at the Snezhayan man, you could feel his gaze digging into the side of your face. He appeared confused as to why the act of affection ceased so soon.

You decided to answer his unvoiced question, knowing it'd be a bigger hassle if you didn't. "I'm eating and we're in public." No response came from him. "Would you like a piece?"

Snatching a piece of chicken from your bowl, you turned to look at him. That was when you noticed how tired he looked. Dark circles adorned beneath his eyes, his hair was messy, and his outfit was slightly rumpled. What had exactly happened out there? Even the offer for food didn't appeal to him, his body stoic without the charm he usually exuded.

Then it happened like a light switch. He nodded eagerly, opening his mouth for the chicken. Despite your unease, you pretended not to see it and did as asked. Plopping it into his mouth, his expression brightened and he nodded while chewing. "Very delicious. Isn't life beautiful, [Y/N]? It's always beautiful with you here."

"Oh... stop being a flirt," you laughed, shaking your head to hide your flustered state.

"Why should I ever?" he asked, tilting his head. A finger twirled around your hair strand, twisting it -- deeper and deeper like a snake burrowing within. He grinned wide, teeth baring and too bright it nearly blinded you. "You're fun to tease."

"Whatever." You rolled your eyes, turning your attention back onto the food. "How did your day go today?"

"It was annoying," he murmured, features growing dim for a second. "I had only hilichurls to fight. I need something stronger."

"Isn't that a good a thing? You won't get hurt that way."

He blinked at you, brows raised for a few seconds. "You're right," he agreed, shocking you. He wasn't the type of person to stray from the idea of danger. "Patience is key. My opportunity will arrive when it comes."

Oh. So that was what he meant. "That's not the point," you mumbled under your breath, repressing the sigh threatening to spill out. He wouldn't listen to your warnings anyway, so you decided not to press on it. "You look exhausted, Childe. Are you taking care of yourself?"

"I'm not tired at all," he smoothly denied, expanding his smile even more, as if to try and convince you. "Besides, it's our date night, isn't it? I'm not missing out on something so special just for a nap."

That was right. With how busy both your schedules were, the last time you went out on a date with him was a month ago. It was a miracle when the two of you found an evening where both parties were free. Even so, it was a little worrying. You would rather reschedule than force him to go somewhere when he was in that state. Before you could say anything, he beat the punch, as if he read your mind just then.

"We're going. You can't say no."

"Fine," you sighed, shaking your head with a small smile on the lips. "Ah, shoot. I should get back to the Parlor. Break is already over. It went by too fast." Shoving the rest of the food into your mouth, you swallowed it in one go. There was one last thing to do. On the tip of your toes, you pressed your lips on the side of his face, feeling his smooth skin under. Soft as a baby's. How unfair. "See you tonight?"

He nodded, shooting a quick wink your way. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, comrade."

Chuckling under your breath, you whirled around and left the docks, oblivious to the eyes glued on to your form.

The moment you arrived to the building of your workplace, a certain director was waiting. She had long, brown hair put into two ponytails, with a dark hat sitting on top. Amber eyes showed from beneath her bangs, darting back and forth in wonder. Her fingers continued to tug the sleeves of her dark, traditional coat. It was none other than Hu Tao -- the person you called a boss.

"[Y/N]! You were a minute late!" she said, huffing as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh... sorry," you said, scratching your head.

She picked something up beside her. It was a stack of papers, showcasing calligraphy, which advertised the company. Same old Hu Tao. She never gave a break about it, considering clients were hard to keep. More-so, the woman was the one who typically scared them away, talking about death and whatnot. It sometimes unnerved you too, but it kept things interesting. Hmm... now that you thought about it, you attracted quite the strange bunch of people in life. Strange people often led to strange situations. Strange situations often led to death. Death?! Did your boss somehow brainwash your brain into thinking like her?

Hu Tao dropped the heavy pile upon your arms. "Let's go and find more clients! While we're at it, we'll tape these on some buildings too!" she declared, pumping a fist into the air.

Forced to follow her like a lowly dog, you drooped your head and did as ordered. It was a nightmare having to approach these people, witnessing the terrifying lines Hu Tao would sometimes spit out to them and the horror apparent in these innocent citizens' eyes. Then they'd threaten to call the guards on her, so the two of you would be forced to flee, and the cycle would continue. If not obvious by now, this was your least favorite task of this job, but it wasn't like you could argue with her. If she ended up firing you, you wouldn't know what to do.

Traveling through the city of the Geo Archon, you prepared yourself for the long day ahead.

The sun was setting by the time the two of you began to return to the Parlor. Skies streamed of pink and orange, looking magnificently beautiful. Lights began to illuminate the buildings, coloring the streets with its warm glow. It was growing silent too; the merchants and travelers were beginning to retire to their abodes. This made it much more peaceful and a definite welcoming sight to see. The embarrassment you gone through today made you wish to never see another human being again.

Ah. It was getting near the designated time for the date with Childe. Just as you were about to ask to be dismissed by your boss, the female beside you had let out a groan.

Turning your head to the left, you found Hu Tao sagging to the ground, grasping her head in pain. "Are you okay?" you questioned in panic, shaky hands unsure of what to do.

It was over quickly. She stood up and brushed herself off, clearing her throat. "I have a bad feeling," she said, placing her hand onto your shoulder. You glanced down in bewilderment, confused by her line of actions. "Someone is going to die. Is it you?"

"What--" you blubbered. "That's not funny at all, Hu Tao."

She hummed, placing a finger on her chin in deep thought. "Perhaps it's me."

"Don't say that!" you gasped, shoulders trembling in shock. What the hell was she spewing out?! Maybe you should be used to her tactics at this point, but never had she said something so... so drastic! Why would say she such a thing? How could she say it so casually? She was lying, wasn't she? This couldn't possibly be real!

Her expression was entirely serious. Trailing from your shoulder to your wrist, her tight grip weaved around it. "Come with me. We're going to Wuwang Hill."

You decided to go with her. This was an emergency. The original thought of your date with Childe had been pushed to the back of your mind, entirely forgotten.

The trip to the this place she talked about was longer than expected. Night had fallen across the lands, dim stars twinkling in the distance. It was dark out -- it didn't help that you found yourself in some abandoned woods, where gnarly trees stemmed from the ground. Where did she just take you? Her prophecy about someone's death was beginning to look a bit more convincing. The woods were the perfect spot for a murder scene. You flinched at the sound of a stray owl hooting from somewhere.

The woman finally halted at a mound of dirt, to which she nodded in approval at. She spun around to face you, giving you a thumbs up. "Alright. Just wait here for me. I'll be back in a bit."

"What?! You can't just bring me to this creepy place and ditch me like that! Let me go with you-"

She shook her head, looking stern. "I can't do that. Nothing will happen to you, I promise." Her words were a little hard to believe and did not help to assure you at all.

Despite your futile protests, she ignored them and entered a magical veil. In less than a second, she was gone, leaving you alone in a dark... dark place. Curses ran through your mind and you hugged yourself in paranoia. All was silent, saved for the rustle of leaves blowing against the wind. The moon casted trickles of light past the gaps of trees, the color of it more ghastly than helpful. Broken wood littered the ground, which you assumed were past homes. What happened here? If people used to live here, what happened?

The nape of your neck prickled, the feeling of it slithering down the spine of your back. It sank its fangs into you, ready to spill your blood to fill the soil. Whirling around, you found an empty clearing, with no one there.

Taking a step back, you tripped over a log. Shit! Shutting your eyes, you prepared for the fall. The wind knocked out of you, but before the impact arrived, time had froze to a stand still.

Cold, searing hands were placed on you, burning into your back through the fabrics of your shirt. Eyes opened to see the familiar outline of a person. You yanked away and shoulders lowered. Relief seeped into you, knowing that it wasn't somebody dangerous. He was here to protect you, for he was untouchable, unmatched in skills and strength. Suddenly, you did a double take. "What are you doing here, Childe?"

"I followed you here," he said, a grin never leaving his face. Pearls gleamed, reflecting the moon's glow. His gaze didn't match the smile he had on though; they were overflowing with something. Turmoil. Anger. Desire. "I was going to pick you up from the Parlor as a surprise, but then I saw you leave the city."

"The... date," you mumbled, knitting your brows together. "I'm so sorry...! I can explain."

"Hush," he said, grin stretching ever wider. He snatched a strand of your [h/c] hair, breathing it in deeply, while licking his lips in the process. "There's nothing to explain. You decided your job was more important than me."

"That's not it!"

He ignored your remark, scanning the surroundings with great interest. "This place is pretty dead. There's nothing to kill." Bending down, he picked up a wilting flower, analyzing it with those haunting hues of his. The next second, the flower was crushed in his hand, squeezed so hard it had turned into dust. He blew on it and the specks disappeared into the breeze. "Where's Hu Tao?"

Hu Tao... He had never paid attention to her before. As far as you knew, they had not spoken to each other once. What did he want with her? Your lips parted, but your throat dried. No words came out. You couldn't seem to find your voice.

"Cat caught your tongue?" he sneered, taking a step forward. His question was repeated, a little harsher on the edge. "Where's Hu Tao?"

"I'm back!"

Speak of the devil. The brunette had appeared out from the burrow yet again. Childe whipped around at the voice, a crazed excitement flashing past him. You wanted to scream at the girl to get out of here immediately, but your mouth would not move. Although, why? Childe was your boyfriend, was he not? What was this fear that threatened to suffocate your every being?

The tall man went over to the director, who had stopped in her tracks. "So this is it," she breathed out, her gaze locking in with the red head. "Balance has been shaken because of you, Harbringer."

"Does it look like I give a damn about your words?" he said, barking out a chilling laugh. "Please do at least give a nice challenge for a fight. I've been bored all day."

"I have no choice, do I?" she said, slowly unsheathing her polearm.

"No! Stop it! Leave her alone." you yelled out, running out to the battlefield.

He pushed you back, sending you sprawling to the ground. "Stay there." You tried to get up, but by then, it was too late.

Blue and red visions gleamed in the dark and in a biting realization, you knew who was instantly at a disadvantage. Childe had taken out his blades as well, water forming from them. The two figures ran at each other in great speed, weapons clashing and clanging. Every time Hu Tao tried to hit him, it was easily met by the other, the fire dissolving at the taste of water. Steam arose in the air, fogging the air around. "At this point, I won't even need to go into the other form. You're weak," Childe taunted.

"And you're hurting [Y/N] with your selfish deeds," his opponent quipped. Fury blossomed in the depths of his heart at the sound of this. He was going to go easy before, to keep the fight going for longer, but it was running out. Hitting her polearm with his entire strength, he knocked the long stick from her hands.

He grabbed her by her neck, squeezing it. Her legs were lifted from the ground, eyes bulging and her hands desperately trying to scratch the iron grip of his. She wheezed out in pain, the sound of it raw and scratchy. "Stop! Stop it, dammit!" you cried, crawling over to the scene. He ignored you, dropping the ragged body of the woman down. She was still alive, but barely.

Just as you were about to reach her, Childe had kneeled down and plunged the recently dropped polearm straight down into her chest. Then he did it again. And again. And again. Blood splattered upon his face, where a sick smile took place. Sticky substance landed on yours, the intense iron smell making your stomach turn. The woman's eyes which used to gleam of life had faded, though they were still wide in horror for the upending doom.

You couldn't even process it or grieve.

His bloodlust eyes turned on you, crimson splatters oozing down like drying paint. Wiping a spot from his cheek, he sucked his thumb and smiled, looking too happy -- looking too normal for someone with blood on their face. You reeled back, uneven breaths breaking the uncanny silence.

"[Y/N]."

You couldn't answer. You didn't have an answer. This wasn't your boyfriend anymore. He was a stranger. A murderer.

"[Y/N]."

Nails dug into the dirt and you dared scooted yourself back.

"Why do you look scared?"

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. He was pouting, jutting his bottom lip out childishly. How could he say that with his hand still on the polearm used to kill someone? Stop it.

"I won't hurt you. I will never hurt you."

"Leave... me... alone..." Your voice cracked and it shook with every syllable. With the last bit of your strength, you heaved yourself up and began to run like your life depended on it. And it did.

You barely last a few seconds. Yanked back roughly by your shoulder, he held you, claws digging into the side of your torso. His head lowered and hot breath tickled your ear lobes as he whispered.

"I will never leave you. One day, I will conquer the world. So I need you by my side. Forever."

His blue eyes were no longer blue. They were purple, the color of poison.

A/N: PLEASE the way childes banner is coming very very soon but i be writing this-

If youre pulling for him, good luck! We're getting our bastard man babes :D

#genshin #genshin impact #childe #tartagila #childe x y/n #childe x reader #childe x you #tartaglia x reader #reader insert #x reader #genshin x reader #yandere #oneshot #love #romance #angst #obsession

140 notes · View notes

atalho-s · 3 years

Text

Light Up The Dark

Part 1 | June

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.9 k

summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.

She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.

What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂

"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.

She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.

People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.

She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."

- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.

It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.

Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.

She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.

Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.

So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.

Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.

Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.

At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.

Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."

She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.

Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.

But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.

She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.

But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.

Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.

She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.

She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.

Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.

- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.

- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.

- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.

- Something fun, of course.

- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.

- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.

- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.

- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.

After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.

- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.

- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?

- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.

- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.

She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.

He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.

- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.

- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.

- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?

- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.

Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.

Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.

He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.

He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.

- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.

- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.

- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.

- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.

Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.

She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.

The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.

- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.

- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?

- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?

- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?

- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.

- Hm... You're from London?

- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.

- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.

- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.

- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...

- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?

- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.

- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.

- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.

- I'm a writer...

- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.

- I write horror and thriller books.

- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.

- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.

- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.

When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.

Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.

He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.

- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.

- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?

- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...

- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...

- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.

- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...

- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.

- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.

- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.

- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?

- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.

- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.

- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.

- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.

She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.

-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?

- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.

- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...

- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.

- If you insist...- she said giving up.

He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.

- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.

- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.

She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.

She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.

- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.

He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.

- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.

- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.

- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.

- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.

- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.

They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.

- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.

- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...

- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.

She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.

- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.

- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.

He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.

- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.

He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.

They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.

After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.

- Nice apartment...- he finally said.

- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.

- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.

He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.

His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.

His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.

She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.

- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.

He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.

- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.

After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.

She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.

Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #bartender!tom #waiter!tom #tom holland x famous!reader #bartender!tom x writer!reader #tom holland series

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 3 years

Text

you didn’t mean to say “I love you” (Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

“I love you...”

“What...?” You asked incredulously, disbelief even in your expression as Katsuki just stared at you angrily, form trembling as if even he couldn’t believe the words he just said to you. But then his crimson eyes widened when he heard a snicker leave you as you chuckled and shook your head.

Summary: After everything that’s happened from the war with the Paranormal Liberation Front and after yet another brush with death, Katsuki finally tells you how he feels about you.

Pairing: Bakugou X Reader Warning: Language, angst, mentions of mental health issues, spoiler alerts for the recent chapters Word Count: 11.4 k

Happy early holidays y'all~. Been forever! But I managed to freaking do this! Let's see what else I can write out. :3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvj6PE3gN4o

You couldn’t stop the loud yawn leaving you as you fought your way out of a sleeping spell, because you reminded yourself that you couldn’t just fall asleep in a public park especially since you were out with your friends Izuku and Shoto, along with your puppy Taromaru. Whom looked up at you with a concerned little whine.

“Are you tired (Y/N)?” Shoto politely asked, just as concerned as your little puppy was because that was about the fifth time you’ve yawned, and yes, he kept count of it. “A bit… but that’s pretty normal for me.” You gave him a lopsided smile and shrugged your shoulders, even though that didn’t ease his concern, or Izuku’s as he looked at you with worried eyes. “Have you been sleeping well (Y/N)-chan?” He’s been one of your best friends alongside Katsuki, the three of you practically grew up together, and while Katsuki liked to keep his distance, you stuck by Izuku and gladly invited Shoto into your friend group and you liked to hang out with them. Katsuki on the other hand? As much as you adored your boyfriend, you knew that he preferred to be by himself and was easily annoyed whenever Izuku and Shoto were around, and with you especially. It’s been like that lately, but you didn’t get it, you just assumed Katsuki was being Katsuki. “Oh honey I haven’t slept well since I was in kindergarten.” You chuckled lightly, even though Izuku looked a little bit serious, and that made you sigh. “I know, I need to work on it… but honestly it’s just… a lot right now you know? Tests and… stuff… after everything… Guys… it’s been what? 6- or 7-months tops since we got out of a fucking war? And we’re still doing this bullshit? I just wish they’d give us a break but they’re not… makes me wonder just… how long and I keep going… in fact… sometimes I don’t even think I can… I can’t keep up with you guys… and that just… really makes me feel like garbage, worse than that… I just… if I close my eyes, I wish I could close them and skip through all of this…”

Averting your eyes, you stared at your lap when you spoke up a little bit about how exhausted you were and how stressed out you had been feeling because it’s been too much for you. You and your friends literally survived the war with the Paranormal Liberation Front, and not everyone came out of it unscathed. There were things you were never going to unsee, your friend’s terrified faces, Aizawa-sensei’s prosthetic limb after cutting off his own leg, and then your Izuku and Katsuki barely coming out of it alive when the smoke eventually cleared.

You almost lost your best friends; you almost lost your Katsuki… There’s no way you were okay, and it was so hard to go to sleep at night sometimes when you thought too hard on it. It was so hard to even look at your boyfriend without thinking about the horrible, traumatic things he had to endure. Even before fighting Shigaraki. It was just hard, hard to acknowledge that you almost lost him. “Aroooooo…” You only perked up when Taromaru whimpered, nuzzling against your leg as if trying to comfort you as you looked down at the sweet pup, unable to help but smile at him and reached down to pet his head. “It’s okay (Y/N)-chan.” Izuku seemed to follow Taromaru’s lead as he gave you a soft smile, wanting to reassure you even though you were sad, he wanted to make you feel better somehow. “I… I understand what you’re saying, and why you feel the way you do… Believe me I’m… still trying to readjust even after all of that. It was… scary. We got out alive, but it’s almost like it happened yesterday… and I think about our friends, how we fought so hard just to stay alive and keep everyone else alive and-.” As he spoke, you put your arm around him and rested your head on his shoulder as a way to comfort him. Even if Izuku wasn’t the most expressive when it came to his own horrors, he still understood why you felt the way you did. However, you still knew that deep down his own suppressed trauma was starting to emerge so you offered him some comfort, and distracted him as he squeaked at the closeness and began to blush heavily at the feeling of your skin on his. “(Y-Y/N)-chan…!” “I’m so glad we got out alive… all of us…” You said softly with a little smile, that’s one thing Izuku was right about. All of you were alive, and all of you made it out alive. Just not quite the same, everything returned to normal, but some were still having nightmares after the war. Naturally, you gravitated towards the ones who needed the comfort because it distracted you from your own inner turmoil and because you were more worried about your friends than you were yourself. “(Y/N).” It was Shoto’s turn to say something, and you looked up to see him and pay attention, “Midoriya’s right. It is okay, but… it’s also okay, if you’re not okay. What you feel right now… it’s okay. Although… you will need to get more sleep, it won’t be okay if you fall asleep in class, or in a park…” Shoto knew how to reassure you, which surprised you but the boy was more empathetic than people took him for. And he made you smile because he was so understanding, that you felt a little more validated, glad to know that it was okay that you weren’t in the best spirits as of now. You picked your head up, giving him a nod and a smile. “Hee-hee… if I fall asleep in this park… I got you guys to wake me up don’t I?” You made a small joke, and made the two boys chuckle and smile at you, and Taromaru happily barked with a cheerful ‘arf’! “And we have Taromaru to be on guard for us.” Grinning, you pat your lap to gesture Taromaru to do jumpies, as the little pup leaped up and sat on your lap, earning a bigger smile from Izuku as he pet the small pup. Something Shoto couldn’t help but find very endearing, while he’s petted more cats before, Taromaru was a sweet dog, and he took a liking to the little guy as he gave him a small pet on the head. Only to cringe a little bit when he felt the little pup’s warm tongue lick at his palm. But this just made you and Izuku laugh out loud when you saw the look on his face, neither one of you seeing the light pink tinting his cheeks. And neither of you saw nor sensed that Katsuki was around and paused just in time to see you, Izuku and Shoto just talking about things, about how all of you felt, and then he watched the three of you just laughing and smiling together… He watched the scene with an indiscernible expression. He wondered where the hell you were at, and Denki said that you were with Izuku and Shoto at the park with Taromaru. Which alone infuriated Katsuki because you didn’t even bother telling him where you went and he had to have Denki tell him. Now you were with Deku and Icyhot? That didn’t surprise him, but it still bugged him. You’ve been doing that for far too long, and Katsuki began to wonder why them? And why not him? Was it because he wasn’t the best boyfriend sometimes? He had a feeling that had to be why, but it still bothered him. He’s known about your terrible eating habits, sleeping habits and poor health overall. You weren’t the best at taking care of yourself, he knew whenever you were down, and he called you on your bullshit several times, and even though you opened up. You didn’t open up nearly as much as you did to Izuku and Shoto. But why? Why couldn’t you open up to him? Why couldn’t you give him that kind of attention? Why didn’t you talk to him? Why couldn’t you confide in him when he knows damn well about what you were talking about too? All of you were there during the war and witnessed horrible things happening and experienced physical or emotional pain, so why weren’t you talking to him about it? He understood, he really did understand so why didn’t you come to him? These thoughts were screaming in his head as he narrowed his eyes, just seeing you laughing without a care in the world with those two, playing with your dog and probably forgetting that he even existed. He couldn’t take it anymore, he clenched his fists and sucked in a breath before leaving in a huff. You remained oblivious for some time until you and the guys decided that it was a good idea to get back to the dorms. Maybe a good nap would also help, and you had your Taromaru to make you feel comfortable too as you, Izuku and Shoto walked you back to the dorms. “Well… I’ll see you guys later okay? Tell your mamas I said ‘hi’ okay?” Izuku and Shoto told you on the way that they were going to visit their families, they had been doing that a little more as of late but especially after everything that had happened. Which you understood as they both smiled at you and nodded, reassuring you that they would definitely tell them that you said ‘hi’ as they both walked away and waved at you. Smiling, you waved at them as they left and walked back into the dorm building with your eager puppy following you with his tail wagging. Perhaps you should have gone home too, but once you got inside the building all you wanted to do was just go to your room and go to sleep or maybe just nap in the common room because it was closer. Maybe also ask Katsuki how he was doing, since you kind of forgot to tell him where you were going today. Not that you were obligated to but you knew that he would get worried about you and liked to make sure that you were okay, and while you appreciated how much he did care, there were some things you just didn’t and wouldn’t bother him about. Your problems were your problems, not his, he had plenty of problems and you weren’t going to drag him into any of them. So, you gave him his space, and you valued the space you had to be by yourself and just enjoyed your own company, or maybe one or two of your other closer friends simply because it was comfortable. You didn’t want to bother your boyfriend, and you knew that he preferred to do his own thing, even after everything that’s happened, it was just more comfortable knowing that he had his act together. Yeah that’s it, it made you feel better and less concerned as you sat down on the couch and let your puppy jump on with you. Time to either fall asleep or watch Netflix to fall asleep to. “Oi, Shitty Girl.” You perked up however once you heard a voice, Katsuki’s for that matter as you looked around and saw him leaning against the wall of the hall, hands in his pockets and with his signature scowl that made you smile a little bit. “Oh hey Kat… didn’t see you there.” Your tone was way too casual for his liking, and he hated the way you said it. You didn’t see him? He knew it, he knew you had been ignoring him. “Tch, I was standing here the whole time dumbass…” He indignantly remarked, but you just brushed that off as his typical brashness as you chuckled and shook your head. “Hee-hee, that’s my bad… but uh… hey I just got here, was gonna head up to my room but… don’t feel like it, I think I’ll just chill down here… feel free to sit with me and chill too.” It was almost a flirt as you smiled at him, but he wasn’t looking at you for some reason, instead he stared at his feet. As if he were trapped in the mindset where all of those thoughts were screaming at him to fixate on them instead. “Where did you go?” That’s all Katsuki could bring himself to ask you, even though he knew the answer because he was there and he saw you. Except you didn’t know that, and he bitterly thought that it’s because you ‘didn’t see him there’. “Oh… um…” The more you thought about it though, the more you started to feel bad since you normally did tell him where you went, but had started forgetting lately. “Nowhere really, just the local park nearby.” You shrugged it off though, since that’s where you liked to go there often. You and Katsuki liked to go there, just to walk around, but not as of late. Instead you went with other friends, including Izuku and Shoto and he was aware of that because he saw the pictures on your Instagram page of the places you went without him. “Did you go alone?” Katsuki knew the answer too, but he needed to hear what you had to say, hope for some kind of honesty from you, or just to get you to say more to him. Although you were starting to feel kind of nervous about his questions, and you started to wonder if he was feeling okay, but before you could ask, you answered his question. “No, no I wasn’t alone… I had Taromaru with me. And also, Izuku and Shoto had some free time so I let them tag along because I thought I could stand to get up out of here a little bit and I did, just to unwind.” So you could tell him that much? He wondered to himself, but just hearing Izuku and Shoto’s names and the fact that you were just so damn blasé about the entire thing and not even reading in between the lines was enough to set him off as he grunted aloud in pure aggravation.

“Deku! Deku! Deku! Icyhot! Icyhot! Icyhot!”

He shouted it out, the two nicknames of the two people that he couldn’t bear to even hear at the moment and hearing them leave your lips just completely enraged him.

However, his sudden outburst startled and made you gasp with wide (E/C) eyes because you didn’t expect that at all. And you had no idea why he just got so pissed. He looked so pissed, more so than normal but you didn’t even know why as you looked up at him with shock and confusion, but that just pissed him off even more.

“DAMMIT!! You don’t even fucking think about ME anymore!” His trembling fists clenched at his side as he looked at the bewilderment all over your face. Unable to believe that you were that oblivious to him.

“W-What?! What the hell are you talking about…?” You didn’t get it, why was he so pissed off? What was he pissed off about now? Just because you spent time with Izuku and Shoto. They were your friends and you could spend time with them whenever you wanted.

“Are you mad just because I was out with them?” You sighed when you assumed that he was probably just jealous as he normally was. “Katsuki I know you have a bug up your ass when it comes to Izuku and Shoto but honestly you need to grow-.” He seemed to drown out what you were saying, ignoring how much it was starting to sing but that didn’t matter. What mattered is that he wanted to know why you kept ignoring him. He wasn’t even jealous, or at least, it wasn’t typical petty jealousy, it came from a place of hurt.

“What’s the deal... going to places with them? Telling them all of these important things...” He cut you off and asked you straight up why you felt so comfortable talking to them, but not him. He was your boyfriend, while he’d never force you, it still hurt knowing that you didn’t open up to him the way you could to other friends.

But you didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, all you could tell was that he still seemed upset for some reason. “Oh... right, the park… well hey I mean... it’s not like the places I go with them to are places you’d even like, literally you don’t like the theater, you’re not a fan of the pet store and you’re not... wait, what are you getting at?”

At first you were confused, but now you were starting to listen to what he was asking and what he was trying to get across to you.

“You’re struggling in class! And your health! I already knew but dammit... why don’t you tell ME these things?!” He was terrible with his feelings, but he thought he at least got his point across about how much he cared about your health and it hurt knowing that you didn’t tell him about anything you had an issue with.

This you were partially aware of though as you almost looked ashamed for a moment because he was right. You had neglected to tell Katsuki about all of those things, both out of pride and out of shame, “That’s just because I don’t want you to worry Katsuki...” You said with a sigh, these were your problems. The last thing you wanted was to drag Katsuki into them because he’s been through so much and has fought so hard that you couldn’t and you wouldn’t just drag him into it. It was bad enough you made Izuku and Shoto give you the time of day over your dumb issues, you couldn’t do that to Katsuki too.

“Why?” But Katsuki still didn’t understand why you didn’t want him to worry, when he wanted to because you were his partner dammit. He wanted to worry about you because he cared about you, even if he had a hard time saying such a personal thing.

“What?” You perked up with even more confusion when he asked ‘why’? Why what?

“Why won’t you let me worry? When you’ll tell fucking Deku and Icyhot? Why do you let them worry about you? You just don’t care at all do you?” He looked away, fists still clenched and beginning to tremble at the feelings of anger and hurt twisting inside of his chest, and he couldn’t shake it off.

Katsuki didn’t show weakness, he hated it, he always put up a strong front, but the fact that you kept these important things from him, but instead confided in Izuku and Shoto of all people, that hurt. And it hurt even more that you seemed more concerned about them than him, and opted to just ignore how he felt after he had been through the same things they had.

“Katsuki... what are you? How dare you?! Of course I care!” You did care, of course you did, how could he even ask that? You were constantly worried about him; did you ask him about the things that bothered him? Well no you didn’t, but if he wasn’t so fucking proud, you’d ask him more. Except he didn’t, so you didn’t ask him that much because you knew that he’d just get annoyed with you.

“You have a funny way of showing it!” He quickly replied, tone not quieting down because he didn’t believe it. He knew he had this ridiculous pride that kept him from speaking up much, but he still felt ignored by you over the past couple of months. After all Icyhot was proud in his own right, but that apparently didn’t stop you from going over to talk to him about how he felt.

“Really? I have a funny way of showing it? Says the guy who’s ditched 2 of our dates and lets his pride and these dumb pissing contests with the guys get in the way of things. C’mon Katsuki, don’t be a hypocrite.” You almost got up, because you felt like leaving this dumb conversation. Sometimes you just could not with him, and right now you could not with him, especially if he was going to be this way as you shook his head, but Katsuki wasn’t going to let you just walk away from this.

“I get it! I know! But… you don’t even talk to me! You don’t come to me, you don’t tell me anything! I’m not stupid! I know you’re not okay when you say you are, I know you’ve been pretending to be okay for the past couple of months, and I know you haven’t been okay since we faced off the damn villains! And then you… you fucking…” He seemed to struggle at that last part; he was well aware that he wasn’t the best boyfriend to you, but he wanted to make an effort, at least as of late. He made sure you didn’t stay up too late, and also made sure you had a decent breakfast instead of junk food, but lately he felt as if he’s just been getting nothing from you in return.

“I what?” You shrugged your shoulders and raised your arms with an irritated look, wondering just what did you do this time to make him mad.

“You... you got that damn dog!” Katsuki practically shouted, his tone completely incredulous but still angry as said dog perked up a bit, tilting his head in confusion.

“What...? What does Taromaru have to do with any of this?!” You were straight-up offended though, why was he getting mad at your dog now? What did Taromaru ever do to him?

“Stop acting like you don’t get it! After… all the shit that we’ve been through… I know that you’re not okay, you say you are but I know its bullshit… and yet you got a dog to make you feel better! A dog (Y/N)?! Why not me?! You should be holding ME at night, not a dog! It’s ME you should come to if you’re feeling messed up! Not Deku or Icyhot!” Katsuki went on a small tangent, pointing at himself to emphasize that he wanted you to talk to him, to come to him when you weren’t feeling okay and yet still you got Taromaru for emotional comfort and talked to Izuku and Shoto about your problems instead of him.

He was YOUR boyfriend, he’s the one you should be able to trust enough to seek comfort and company from, and yet you’ve been just ignoring him for months.

Finding comfort and company from others. Including from a freaking dog, over him.

However, he winced ever so slightly when he heard a soft little whine coming from Taromaru and he saw the pup looking almost like he was sad. Bakugou wasn’t exactly as close to the dog as everyone else was, but while he didn’t like the affection you gave to the freaking dog instead of him, your boyfriend, it’s not like it was Taromaru’s fault.

“Unbelievable... is your ego really that fragile you pompous asshole?” You did understand, but because of the way he was acting and because you were getting angry, you could only reply back with annoyance and that just made him even more annoyed.

“Are you really that stupid?! Can’t you see what I’m trying to tell you, you idiot?! Do you really think that low of yourself? Or do you just not even care? Answer me that!”

“Stop saying I don’t care! I do! I care about you Katsuki!”

“Well I care about you too dammit!! Don’t you get that?! I know I can be a real shitty boyfriend and I know I have been, but… fuck!” He shut his eyes and shouted louder, seeming to be at war with himself until he opened his eyes and looked right into your (E/C) eyes. Eyes he had taken for granted as he took in your form, the parts he loved about you and the things he missed about you. The way you would smile at him or laugh, he missed that…

“(Y/N)… dammit… I love you...”

It’s not true…

“What...?” You asked incredulously, disbelief even in your expression as Katsuki just stared at you angrily, form trembling as if even he couldn’t believe the words he just said to you. But then his crimson eyes widened when he saw a small grin on your lips, a snicker leaving as you chuckled and shook your head in what sounded like amusement.

“Funny Katsuki... We’re not even half-way through our second year… I mean… no you can’t be serious… no... no way... I don’t... I don’t think that’s true...”

Katsuki was the boy you loved, but you weren’t even sure if it was that ‘real’ kind of love that people liked to shove down your throat. Saying you didn’t know what real love was, and you started to think that maybe they were right.

So Katsuki couldn’t have meant it when he said the words to you right? You were aware that he had been through one hell of an ordeal throughout his entire first year here at UA, so you wondered if he even knew what love was. Or if he was just saying that due to the fact that he was clearly very emotional right now and that this was nothing but another one of his impulsive outbursts that he would just take back later.

“...”

Yet once the silence became uncomfortably apparent you finally glanced at him, and blinked a bit, almost wondering if you were seeing this right but you couldn’t even recognize the expression on your boyfriend. His eyes appeared to be glistening ever so slightly along with a subtle quiver of his lips.

That was definitely not like the Katsuki you were used to see.

Bakugou was not quiet. Not often. He was known for being loud, opinionated and honest to a fault, and he let everyone know it. He could be quiet, but this was a different kind of quiet. It was still, tense and making you increasingly uncomfortable especially when he gritted his teeth as if to attempt to keep his lips from trembling.

“So that’s how you feel…?”

His tone was different, it wasn’t the usual angry, gruff tone. In fact, he sounded like he was almost hurt by what you said.

No… “W-Wha…?” You didn’t want to believe it, was your boyfriend really that upset? You wanted to ask but the blond just swiftly turned his head and took a few steps away from you, and your eyes fell on his back and you flinched as soon as you heard the smallest hitch in his breath.

“A-Are you… are you really crying?! Y-You don’t cry!” You didn’t mean to raise your tone, but you were genuinely shocked. Not your best choice of words, yet still you couldn’t fight the shock, because you haven’t seen Katsuki cry since he was 9 years old. And based on the way his body started tremoring, you were starting to think you were right.

“No!”

Katsuki only got more defensive, aside from feeling hurt by you now he just felt insulted as he brought an arm up to cover his eyes even if he had his back to you. God why was he so pathetic?

But he wasn’t going to let you have the satisfaction of seeing him like this. No matter how much his body and stupid feelings were making him. He hated this. He hated that he was being so weak and then he hated that he was so weak that he was outright showing this much weakness to you.

“H-Hey now… Kat…” You couldn’t lie, you weren’t comfortable with this, but at the same time you felt so bad for him, and then you were feeling even worse when it became apparent that he felt like you were ignoring him. And you wanted to say something and reach out for him, but as soon as he sensed you moving closer, he quickly backed away and glared at you with flushed cheeks and tears in his eyes.

“Dumbass!! Dammit (Y/N) you… you’re such an idiot!!”

He shouted at you, voice cracking slightly through his anger, and he quickly turned away to storm off away from you in a huff as he took off in a fast dash while you could only watch him with wide (E/C) eyes.

“Katsuki!” You called out for him, but the blonde left without another word and didn’t dare look over his shoulder as he just kept running. And you were left with your arm out in a futile attempt to reach for him as you just stood there with pure shock, confusion and guilt over what just happened between you and your boyfriend.

No way, you didn’t really make the ultra-tough guy, Lord Explosion Murder, up-and-coming rising hero Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, Katsuki Bakugou cry? How was that possible?

Tell me I’ve been lied to Crying isn't like you Oh-oh-oh What the hell did I do? Never been the type to Let someone see right through Oh-oh-oh

“What did you just do…?” You asked yourself, even though you were also wondering what did Katsuki just do? Did he mean what he said when he said ‘I love you’ to you?

“No way…” Shaking your head, you fell right back onto the couch to massage your temples when you heard him say ‘I love you’ again. It just happened, yet in your mind it was still happening. The three words echoed in your head like a sad song on replay and you couldn’t bring yourself to change it to a happier tune.

Katsuki wasn’t the kind of guy to just be so open about his feelings or emotions. Crying wasn’t something he did often, telling you his honest feelings wasn’t something he did often. If anything, Izuku was the one lucky enough to get that kind of sincerity from him, not you.

You accepted that thought, even if it still made you sad there was nothing you could do about it, so you thought. “Katsuki… you idiot…” You wanted to blame him for this, for making you feel guilty about something you didn’t want to feel guilty about. Even though you did feel guilty, you felt horrible in fact.

Of course, you knew your boyfriend would never guilt-trip you, Katsuki never played dirty like that in anything. Yet you still felt like one lousy partner, if he was so upset about this that he blew up to you about it because he couldn’t ignore his feelings anymore and call you out on it. You were the one who usually called him on his bullshit, so having it be the other way around was far from pleasant.

A small whine interrupted your thoughts as Taromaru jumped on the couch to sit on your lap, looking over at you with what you believed was concern as he even licked your cheek. “Hee-hee…” Giggling a little bit and sadly smiling, you pet the puppy on the head.

“Taromaru… do you think… Katsuki really meant that? Do you really think he meant to say I love you?” You felt ridiculous for asking a puppy such a complicated question, especially about your abrasive boyfriend that Taromaru didn’t even get along with that much. Yet still the puppy responded by giving you more licks on your cheek as his tail wagged happily.

Snickering, you almost forlornly wondered if that was Taromaru’s way of saying ‘yes’ because you knew Katsuki wasn’t a liar. He was an emotional young man, but he wasn’t a liar, especially not about how he felt about others.

“He didn’t mean that… no… he couldn’t have… why me…?” You wondered to yourself with your eyebrows furrowed as you walked back to your room with Taromaru following you. There was nothing else you could do other than stumble over to plop down onto your bed.

You felt weak, still in shock from the three words Katsuki told you not long ago. It just happened, but that’s why you were still in shock that it just happened.

Katsuki had to be joking, but he wasn’t the joking type. So why did you doubt him?

“I love you…?” You repeated his words with uncertainty, muttering them to yourself as if you were trying to find some other underlying meaning to how Katsuki said it.

You can’t take those words back once you say them. Platonically or romantically. Which was it from him

“I love you…”

Saying the words with a little more thought, you wondered just what did Katsuki mean when he said them. Love was scary, saying it was scary, especially to your partner. You knew you shouldn’t have felt so hesitant about it but you couldn’t help it.

Maybe won't you take it back Say you were tryna make me laugh And nothing has to change today You didn't mean to say "I love you" I love you and I don't want to Oh-oh-oh

So instead of figuring it out yourself, you called your right-hand man and another one of your best guy friends.

“(Y/N)? What’s up?”

“Hitoshi I need your help with something.”

Maybe calling Hitoshi was a mistake, because he wasn’t the most touchy-feely guy in the world but he had a soft spot enough for you so you kinda hoped that he would tell you some decent enough advice or even reassure you with a pretty good interpretation of what Katsuki could have meant.

“He said that?” Hitoshi sounded just as shocked when you told him that yes, Katsuki said those three little words that even made him feel nervous as you sighed, nodding even though Hitoshi couldn’t see it, he knew you were.

“Yeah and like… I don’t think I reacted the way anyone would want someone to… I said that… I didn’t think he meant it, he got upset and then he just left…” The more you recounted what happened between you and Katsuki, the guiltier you felt as you cringed a bit when you heard a little tongue click coming from Hitoshi.

“What’s that Hitoshi? That’s your judgy tongue click I hear…” You muttered in annoyance as Hitoshi scoffed in amusement.

“Look… Bakugo’s not my friend at all, and I’m not on his side at all either but… yeah that probably wasn’t the best way to react to those three words… and to a guy like him? Yikes… his ego is so massive I’m sure that gave it a serious bruise.” He answered pretty bluntly because while he didn’t see himself partnering up with anyone soon, he knew that if his partner reacted that way, he wouldn’t have taken it very well.

“I now right…? God… I just… that’s such a serious word to tell someone… I feel like… maybe he really did mean it… that idiot’s been through so much… he almost died, he still has his power and all and is in one piece but… there was a moment where I thought… what if he didn’t open his eyes? What if he lost the power he’s been so proud of and… what if he wasn’t the same when he came back and just… I don’t know… I really just… don’t want to even go back to anything like that, even if it was months ago it’s like it happened yesterday and…” As you opened up to Hitoshi about how confused you were about what Katsuki said, you also shared how you really felt about him, and he began to think maybe that’s why you didn’t believe him when he said he loved you.

“Now I see what he means, I’m doing it now… oh my god… you know… I’ve been worrying about literally everyone else… except for Katsuki… I mean I AM worried, I’m worried about him all the damn time but… I don’t know… somewhere along the lines I just… stopped showing it because I have… SO much on my mind, I’m SO fucking worried about my other friends and I’m not afraid of them pushing me away so it’s easier to show them but I… I shouldn’t have just ended up pushing him away in the process…” But then you realized that you were totally opening up to Hitoshi about your problems, and that was another reason Katsuki got upset because you could do this to other people but not him? Well, he did too but you assumed he never really opened up to anyone.

“Hey now… it’s fine really… I mean it’s okay that you feel bad about it, but you’ve been through a lot too, don’t beat yourself up. Look… I wasn’t there when all that stuff went down but… I see what you mean and it makes perfect sense. After everything you’ve seen and been through, the idea of loving someone becomes scarier. I mean… you said everyone came back in pretty bad shape… I remember how you were scared as hell, so… while it wasn’t the best way to react, I don’t blame you for how you reacted (Y/N). But… Bakugo is kind of an ass so… I guess you can explain it to him? Maybe give it a shot… and if he doesn’t get it, just let me know so I can kick his ass.” He and Bakugo weren’t really friends, so he wouldn’t have a problem brainwashing him and kicking him where it hurts should he hurt your feelings in any way.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the thought, even though if anyone could beat Katsuki, Hitoshi can. Katsuki literally can’t keep his trap shut so you were pretty confident that Hitoshi could beat him, but right now, you didn’t want it to lead to that. “Thanks Tosh… I’ll talk to him. I haven’t done that enough so… I will… thanks again…” Sighing, you smiled even though Hitoshi couldn’t see it, he knew you were smiling.

“No problem (Y/N). See you later all right? But… I guess… call me whenever you need anything else…” He ended on a slightly awkward note, but you knew that was just his way of trying to act all cool as you snickered a bit.

“Of course Hitoshi. Back at you… thanks again.” Your tone was amused as he just scoffed before the two of you said your goodbyes and hung up. Only you were left with disappointment to no longer have a friend to talk to and even more disappointment with yourself when you realized how you messed up with Katsuki.

You didn’t mean to; you really didn’t mean to but it was hard. After everything Izuku and Shoto had been through, you were scared for them and it was easier to get them to open up somewhat. Or that’s just what you told yourself, you felt more comfortable worrying about them, and not so much with Katsuki.

He was so proud and strong that you didn’t think you could hurt his feelings. But you did.

He told you he loved you, probably out of desperation to get you to see how he really felt, that he wanted you and needed you and you just laughed at it and didn’t even believe him.

“Katsuki…” You closed your teary eyes when you felt heat pooling in them and wiped any that tried to slip away and quickly went to his number. Calling him would be much too after what just happened, so you just left your phone like that on his number and tried to get your mind off of it by watching TV for a few hours.

You were terrified. You were terrified of talking to him about it, terrified to apologize after hurting him like that because what if he didn’t forgive you? What if he really was going to take it back? What if he was going to break up with you? What if you hurt him worse than you thought especially when he was clearly still traumatized from the war?

The more horrifying thoughts came to your mind, the more you felt almost dizzy as you just stared blankly with wide (E/C) eyes and you couldn’t even hear Taromaru’s barks. Until his paws on your legs made you blink and return to reality as his anxious whimpering and whines became more apparent.

“S-Sorry boy, I’m sorry, I’m okay…” You inhaled and exhaled deeply, remembering to just breathe as you pet the puppy with a shaky smile.

“I gotta talk to him…” Taking another deep breath, you grabbed your phone, it was still on Katsuki’s number and you didn’t call him, but you did send him a message.

‘I wanna talk to you.’

Those were the only words you could bring yourself to text, and of course you didn’t get a reply back. You knew you wouldn’t but you still hoped that he would reply to you back.

Waiting and sitting on your bed, your nerves were quickly becoming frenzied when the seconds and minutes felt much too slow. You could only anxiously await a message from your dear boyfriend if you would even get one as you lied down on your bed, eyes still glued to your phone just waiting for a vibration or the notification sound to go off.

Taromaru lied down right by your stomach as if he could sense how anxious you were, and all you could do to soothe yourself was stroking his fur and pet him gently.

A sharp gasp left you when the notification sound went off, and you instantly sat up from your bed, throwing your hand to your heart in alarm as you looked to see your phone glowing. You quickly snatched it up to see if it was from Katsuki.

‘Fine.’

Your breathing came out in soft little pants, a surge of relief slowly coursing through your being when Katsuki did answer you. But you blinked your tired (E/C) eyes in shock when you realized that at least two hours had passed by.

Taromaru whimpered up at you softly, rubbing his head against your side and reaching up so he could lick your face as if he was trying to comfort you. Smiling softly, you giggled and felt a smidgen more courage to reply to him.

‘First floor when everyone’s asleep? Or my room?’

Nobody was on the first floor at night-time, and you couldn’t be outside the dorm building now that the school’s security had been doubled after the events of the war. So you would have to either talk to Katsuki in private in the comfort of your room or the first floor.

‘Whichever stupid.’

He was clearly still mad and you sighed a little bit as you replied with a ‘My room’, wondering if that was the best choice as you petted Taromaru for more comfort. You were scared when the war between the villains happened, so why were you so fucking terrified to just talk with your boyfriend? It shouldn’t be that hard…

Up all night on another red eye I wish we never learned to fly I-I-I Maybe we should just try To tell ourselves a good lie I didn't mean to make you cry I-I-I

The rest of the day was awkward. Even on the moments you and Katsuki crossed paths, neither one of you could bring yourselves to say anything. You both agreed to talk in your rooms and that was that. Which is why having dinner with the others wasn’t very comfortable because you could both feel each other’s presences when you were in the same rooms.

You had to ignore it though, for now you had to pretend in front of your friends and classmates that everything was okay and that nothing was on your mind. Just as you had been for the past couple of months, so it shouldn’t have been hard.

Thankfully they all brought it, except maybe Izuku and Shoto, but this time they didn’t ask about it since they had the uncanny ability to tell that this issue wasn’t quite like the ones you shared with them earlier today.

Although you ate as much as you could, your stomach still had butterflies because you were finally going to talk to your boyfriend after what felt like months. Even the small talk the two of you made wasn’t much talking, the more you thought about it, it has been a while since you had a real, thoughtful conversation with Katsuki. And that was why he was so angry with you, something that still shocked you but that’s what it was.

You just hoped that Katsuki had cooled down somewhat after the argument you both had today. Once everyone else turned in, that was your cue to just go back to your room, with Taromaru in tow as he followed right by your side.

A small, but sharp gasp left you though as you picked your head up to see no one other than your Katsuki leaning on the wall right next to your door, just waiting for you. How long had he been there? You wondered, but now you were a mix of nervous and relieved. Nervous because you could still see the scowl on his face, and it made you wonder if he was still angry with you, and relieved because he was really here and had enough maturity to come to you despite his visible anger.

“Hey Kat.” You spoke and gave him a small wave when you got close enough to him, and although you didn’t expect an answer, Katsuki surprised you by giving you a small huff in response.

You opened the door for him to let him into your room, and you also wondered how long it’s been since you last had him in your room as he took a seat on your chair and you sat on your bed. How pitiful. Katsuki wasn’t a perfect boyfriend, and you liked to complain about that, but this just made you realize that you weren’t exactly an ideal partner either.

But that’s why you were both here, to hopefully talk about it in a peaceful manner without arguing. Taromaru was here to ease your anxiety, you just hoped Katsuki wouldn’t be bothered by that, but he was more mature than that despite what he said about the dog earlier.

“I think a talk between us is long overdue…” You spoke up to break the uncomfortable silence because you knew Katsuki wasn’t going to do that.

“Now you wanna talk?” He asked somewhat bitterly, hands in his pockets as he didn’t even look over at you as you crossed your arms nervously with a sigh.

“Yes… we… haven’t done that enough, and… that’s partially my fault…” Now you lost the ability to look at him, and of course hearing you say that actually made your boyfriend glance over at you. “I’m not… trying to excuse myself, at all Katsuki. What I said earlier, I meant it… the part about my problems at least, I thought… by not saying anything at all, would make it easier on you. You’re a very busy guy, you’ve been through enough already from last year… it’s been a few months but… I didn’t want to just dump all my problems on you…” As you began your explanation, you fought the irritation when you heard Katsuki scoff.

“Yet that doesn’t stop you from dumping all your problems on Deku and Icyhot, and the other extras…” He reminded you with a small growl, the truth was he didn’t see it as you dumping your problems on someone, instead he just saw it as you opening up to and confiding in everyone else but him. Your boyfriend.

“I know…” You didn’t want to fight with him, so you didn’t. He wasn’t wrong either way, “I hate thinking that’s what I do… but I know that I… confide in them more I just… I don’t know, it’s stupid… it’s not fair to you…”

Katsuki’s eyes narrowed, he didn’t want you to think he didn’t WANT you to confide in your friends, he just wanted you to confide in him a little more, “Those morons are your friends… I just can’t believe you don’t even think that you could talk to me too…” He grumbled in slight embarrassment, even though he’s embarrassed himself plenty today by nearly falling apart in front of you earlier.

However, those were the right words for you to hear as you couldn’t help but sigh in slight relief. You knew Katsuki wasn’t the type of guy to just tell you what you couldn’t do. So, he was just hurt, but because you were the one that he felt hurt by. You didn’t mean to hurt his feelings like that, but you did it.

“I can’t believe it either…”

“So what the hell (Y/N)?” He gruffly asked, awaiting your answer so he could know just what was so wrong that you felt the need to hide all of your problems from him and leave him out of important things that he DID care about. “Why are you leaving me out of things in your life that matter?”

His question stung as you knew you had to give him an answer, he deserved that much and you couldn’t just not talk when you said you wanted to have this talk with him. It didn’t make it any less nerve-wracking though as you inhaled and exhaled. You didn’t expect him to take mercy on you but you could see a glimmer of concern in his displeased expression.

“Katsuki I’m sorry…” You began with an apology, knowing that he did deserve an apology first, “I’m sorry that I… I made you feel like I was ignoring you… I swear I never meant to…” Shaking your head, you braved up to actually look him in the eyes.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care about you, I care about you… so much… I know it feels like I don’t, but I do… I really, really do and…” Swallowing hard, you had to calm yourself down so you could try and explain it to him.

“I just…” You sighed as you began, voice and figure trembling as you knew this had to be said, “I don’t feel like… talking to you about my problems is the right thing to do… to… tell you everything that’s wrong with me when… it’s hard… it’s hard enough knowing that you’ve gone through… so much worse than I have.” You averted his eyes for a moment, unable to see his slightly indignant look.

Maybe won't you take it back Say you were tryna make me laugh And nothing has to change today You didn't mean to say "I love you" I love you and I don't want to Oh-oh-oh

“Katsuki… you’re a proud guy. I don’t want to make you feel like… I’m undermining you or bruising your pride by making you open up too. Because… I’ve tried, and… when none of those attempts worked, I thought… it would just be better for me to let it be, and only give you what you needed when you came for it. I wanted to be… someone you could count on for a ‘pick me up’ or someone you can hug when you need one. And that’s what I did, but I never… sought you out because… I didn’t want to bruise your pride by doing that, I let you have your space, as you let me have mine.” You explained as best as you could only the first half as you finally glanced into his eyes. His expression hard to read although his eyes were still narrowed as he seemed to permanently looked irritated.

He probably was, but you didn’t know that he was taking your words into consideration. He was pissed at you for closing yourself off, but thinking about what you said just made him remember that he closed himself off just as much, if not more so than you.

“I thought I was putting you first, by giving you what you needed from me and supporting you from the sidelines while I took care of my own things, did things by myself so it didn’t… inconvenience you. With everything that was going on, I thought that I couldn’t possibly bother you with anything going on with me, I knew that you wouldn’t just brush off any issue I brought up but… I still didn’t bring anything up, I wanted to deal with my own problems, I wasn’t going to make my problems yours… and… especially after what we have been through? No way… you’ve been through… too much for me to bother you… and… honestly that’s another thing…” Your (E/C) eyes dulled the more you thought about how the aftermath of the war had really impacted you and the fact that school hadn’t ceased to stress you out.

Katsuki was heeding your words, and as angry as he wanted to be at you for thinking that, he could tell that you really believed that you would just be a problem if you opened up about your problems. He was hurt, but now he had to take a little time to try and understand that. He knew he wasn’t the best boyfriend, he knew he had his own issues and that they had affected you, and that’s something you were afraid of which had inadvertently lead you to neglecting him.

“When… when you said…” You almost couldn’t speak though when you thought about how Katsuki said those words, a thought that made your face warm as Katsuki himself began to blush and grunt lowly. He still couldn’t believe he was dumb enough to tell you that…

“When you said that you loved me that just… that was really fucking scary…”

You were fucking scared. Fucking scared of the words ‘I love you’, because there was no way to take those words back once you said it. And Katsuki told them to you, whether he meant it or not, there’s no way he could take it back.

“Katsuki… I’m… fucking scared… when you say you love someone… and even if you mean it… it’s just so painful. After I almost lost you, I knew that… I did… I really did… l-love you a-and… when you love someone… i-it’s just something else you can lose… that war… really made me realize that… there’s no guarantee… what if I really had… lost you? I don’t… I don’t want to imagine it.” You willed your voice to remain steady despite the tears threatening to form as you inhaled and exhaled to keep breathing, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Katsuki.

“Loving someone changes things… it changes everything, after the things we’ve been through… and… it makes me realize… so many things that hurt and yet… I want that at the same time… God… it makes no sense but… Katsuki…” Biting your bottom lip, you wiped at your eyes to stop any tears that wanted to sneak up and fall.

“I’m afraid because I… I do love you too…” Your tears shined in your glossy (E/C) eyes as one traitorous tear dripped down your face as Katsuki’s eyes only slightly widened as soon as you said the same words. A little late, but still.

But he hated seeing you cry, he hated how miserable you looked, and he almost regretted making you talk to him like this. But he had been wanting to talk to you so he could make you feel better somehow and let you know that he does care about you and wants you to be okay.

“And I’m afraid of that…” Chuckling ruefully you tried to smile at him, but it was wobbly and weak as he scoffed in response. He didn’t want to be insensitive, but that was simply part of his nature.

“Because I’m a shitty boyfriend?” He asked you after your explanation, and you blinked some tears in bewilderment at his response. “You know it’s true.” He hated admitting it, but it was true. He shouldn’t have acted like such a jerk to you and pushed you away like he had done before, because while you were still with him, you ended up pushing him away too.

He knew that it was his fault too though, “I’m surprised you’ve put up with me for this long Shitty Girl.” He admitted that too, because he knew that he wasn’t the best partner to you, but the fact that you were still with him even after all of that meant that you meant what you had said.

You meant when you said that you loved him, just as he had meant when he said that he loved you.

“I hate… feeling so weak, more than anything… I can’t fucking stand it… the Sludge Villain, when the league of villains had me… when All-Might…” As Katsuki for once began to tell you even more about how he felt, you saw him grunt and struggle to even say how he felt at his lowest when All-Might had to retire. Because of his weakness, because he couldn’t even save himself and it caused his hero to go into retirement.

“When All-Might had to retire… because of me. Then… when damn Deku… went after that guy…” He willingly let himself get hit, to save Izuku and you knew it. But you couldn’t even look at him after he endured such a fatal wound that you were glad hadn’t killed him. Yet still, even in that moment Katsuki felt so weak for being unable to do anything else.

And now he felt so weak for even showing you a little bit of weakness, crying like an idiot and complaining to you about you not giving him attention when he didn’t give you enough attention either.

“I’m so fucking pathetic… it’s not even your fault…” He grabbed at his hair when he thought he was going to break even just a little bit, but then he felt your hand on his shoulder as you gave him a soft, concerned look.

“You are NOT pathetic… and you are NOT weak… everything that happened was beyond anyone’s control… just because they happened… doesn’t mean it’s your fault but Katsuki… it’s okay to FEEL weak… it’s not okay to think you ARE weak because you’re not… you’re the strongest man I know…” Placing your hands on his shoulders, you looked him in the eyes to tell him how much you admired him.

Katsuki was visibly shocked, touched, but also skeptical, like he didn’t or he couldn’t believe you. “Yes I am! I-I can’t even handle it when you don’t give me a little attention even though I’m the asshole who didn’t give YOU attention, dammit! I just fuck everything up…!” He raised his voice, but there was no anger towards you, it was all aimed at himself. There was anger, anguish and so much self-loathing it broke your heart.

“I meant what I said… I do love you but… you’re also right… I had no idea where you even were. I had no idea if you were even okay, if a damn villain got to you or not… when it was all over, all I could think about is that if you got hurt… it would have been my fault because I didn’t do a damn thing to help you…” Katsuki recalled what he could even though he faded in and out of consciousness after the war had ended and he remembered seeing your face when he and Izuku eventually woke up.

He was so relieved to see you alive and well with a few cuts and scratches, but what if it were worse? What if you had been one of the casualties and weren’t so lucky?

“I hate this feeling so fucking much… I hate that loving you makes me feel like this… it’s not even your fault… I-I just… I hate the thought of losing you… I hate being scared of losing you and I hate that I’m a shitty boyfriend who didn’t even help you when you needed it…” He willed back the tears, but they still dripped down his cheeks as your first instinct was to put your arms around him, holding him close as you shut your eyes. Your own tears streamed down your face.

The smile that you gave me Even when you felt like dying

“It’s okay…” You said to him softly, but those two words were enough to send Katsuki over the edge as he pulled away from you even though he didn’t want to leave your arms, he felt like he didn’t even deserve it.

“It’s NOT okay! How is it okay?! I shouldn’t… I should hate that!! I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be so weak and-!” He wanted to scream more, he wanted to tell you that you shouldn’t even be with him anymore and that you were right to push him away, but you weren’t going to let him.

“No Katsuki it IS… you and I… we’re NOT okay… you’re NOT okay… and I’m NOT okay… that’s why we’re here though… because I should have told you that I wasn’t okay… yes… I wish you told me that you weren’t okay but now I’m telling you… it’s okay… because… I’m still with you because… I want to be… I understand… I just told you that I’m afraid too… and knowing that you are too… don’t you understand how better that makes me feel?” You asked him, the fear evident in your tone and the mistiness in your eyes visible for Katsuki to furrow his brows.

“I want to love you… because I do! I don’t want to be afraid… I don’t want to be afraid of loving the person I want to love but… I am… and yet… at the same time I feel like… I won’t be afraid because you are Katsuki Bakugo. You’re… You’re Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, the strongest hero I know, the strongest man I know, and… with you I just… I feel like I won’t have to be afraid anymore… how can I be afraid? When I have a man like you in my life?” You smiled crookedly at him as your tears continued to fall, body trembling because even though you were still scared. Katsuki somehow always managed to make you feel safe, protected and at ease despite everything.

You couldn’t tell what he was feeling, you just saw him looking at you with a mix of slight awe, surprise and other emotions you couldn’t read. Katsuki just stared at you, he heard your words and listened to every single thing you told him, saw the look in your eyes the entire time as he could see the love, fear and determination swirling in those (E/C) orbs. He didn’t realize how much he needed to hear that from you, he had been wanting you to hold onto him for so long and yet he pulled away from you like the idiot he was.

So hearing you, seeing you stay with him and tell him how you still wanted to be with him even though you were scared, it made him feel like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He hated being weak, but he loved being with you, he loved how you made him feel. He needed to be better, hearing you say that you loved him, made him realize that he needed to be better for you.

“Tch…” He scoffed a little bit, making you perk up when you saw one of his trademark smirks even though you knew that he was still afraid, like you were. “You’re not wrong (Y/N)… loving someone is scary but… you’re also not wrong that you don’t have anything to be afraid of with me around… we’ll kill our fears together.”

He declared with his usual determination that made your eyes well up with more tears, a watery smile on your lips as you snickered and snorted at such a phrase. “W-What are you laughing at?!” However, Katsuki couldn’t help but flush in slight embarrassment when you were laughing at him again, except this wasn’t out of mockery he could tell that much. He still didn’t like it though.

“I-I’m sorry! It’s just… that’s… another reason why I love you… you’re right… I want to do that… kill our fears together… you and me Katsuki.” Your smile didn’t fade as you took his hand in yours, and Katsuki promptly squeezed your hand, his own smirk not leaving.

“Good.” He sounded satisfied, but mostly relieved. Relieved that you and him were okay, or that you were at least going to be together since neither one of you wanted to end this despite the issues that sprung up.

“Katsuki…”

But then he froze up as soon as he suddenly felt you loosen your grip on his hand, and he grunted and nearly exclaimed in shock when you threw your arms around him in the tightest hug he’s felt from you.

We fall apart as it gets dark I'm in your arms in Central Park There's nothing you could do or say I can't escape the way, I love you I don't want to, but I love you Oh-oh-oh

“I love you Katsuki…” You whispered quietly as your tears silently fell. The fear was lingering, but still made you feel safe enough that you held onto him tight. Unwilling to let go as Katsuki returned the gesture by embracing you just as tightly.

God, he didn’t know how scared he was to lose you until he thought of the worst that could have happened. He was still scared, still afraid to lose you and to love you even though he did love you. He really loved you.

“I love you too (Y/N)…” He said the three words to you again, and your tear-filled (E/C) eyes widened when you heard them again. Your heart pounding as they made you feel less afraid and more at peace as you warmly smiled, resting your head into his shoulders and softly smiling even as you felt your own shoulder growing wet from his tears.

You knew it. You truly did love Katsuki, even if you were afraid of the fact that you loved him. And you figured out that Katsuki was afraid of that fact as well. He loved you, it’s why he told you the words even if he didn’t want to.

He knew he had to because it was true, he loved you. It just freaked him out that he did, that he loved someone.

Yet Katsuki wasn’t going to change those feelings, he loved you and he was willing to face that fear if it meant getting to love you the way he did. And you were too, you didn’t want to stop loving him even though you were scared. At least you and Katsuki would be scared together.

“Aroooo~.”

But the two of you opened your eyes when you remembered that Taromaru was still here, resting at the foot of your bed and having woken up from his little nap. You couldn’t help but giggle a bit, even becoming aware of how dark it had gotten and how late it was. Or maybe it wasn’t late, but still you felt sleepy after those tears and emotionally opening up to your boyfriend.

“Taromaru has the right idea… Kat… spend the night here?” You asked him with those puppy dog eyes that annoyed Katsuki as he scoffed, but like hell he was going back to his room. He wanted to be with you.

“Duh. I’m not going anywhere…” He reminded you with a soft little smirk that made you blush warmly and grin at him. This was good, you felt so much better to be with him after you and him talked together and cried together and opened up about your fears of loving each other. And that the two of you would keep working this out together, overcome more fears together as partners.

Finally, you felt like you could sleep comfortably tonight as you were lying down in your bed, Katsuki’s arms were around you as the two of you spooned and cuddled, Taromaru still at the foot of your bed.

“I love you…” You repeated the words to him softly, the words you were still afraid of but because of Katsuki you felt brave enough to tell him that you loved him regardless of your fears. And Katsuki knew it was scary, but still, he wanted to love you, and he knew you wanted to love him too, so he wasn’t going to let a little fear stop him from telling you.

“I love you too.”

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