#after all these years it’s still hard. a part of her never stopped being afraid | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kittyscupcakeandbunny · 5 months

Text

Crazy Over You x Min Yoongi

[HYBRID AU]

PART FIVE

Bitter taste, Jealousy and bites.

Side Characters: Namjoon/doctor, Seokjin/doctor, Taehyung/Hybrid Tiger, Jungkook/Bunny Hybrid, Hoseok/assistant.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of blood, sharp objects, rut, beast behavior.

Word count: 8.5k

Genre: Fantasy, hybrids.

SUMMARY》 Yoongi is a black mamba hybrid one of rarest species of hybrids, who’s about to be put down due to his lack of interest in living. But everything changes after the new medical assistance (y/n) takes a liking to him. Meeting after meeting he realise his feelings for her are not the only thing growing.

< Previously Next Chapter >

……….

Everything went smoothly afterwards, by that would mean nothing eventful happened but things still needed more time to heal. I took Yoongi back to his mating room once the exams were done, after that he seemed tired and didn’t question much once we were there. I never seen him so exhausted before, the entire time he was going under the exams he looked nervous and I worried that it might have something to do with his past. He didn’t say anything till we got to his room and even after that he kept quiet.

I didn’t know what would happen to him now that he was free from Jin’s father, but it was a relief to know he wouldn’t have to put up with extreme tests anymore, he deserved that freedom and i knew he would have more rest from now on. Although i was happy for Yoongi i also couldn’t help but worry about the new hybrid Jin mentioned before, I was afraid he might end up like Yoongi did on his fathers hand, even now that Yoongi was some what free from him I couldn’t help but feel like things weren’t completely over.

I dedicated so many years of my life to this clinic, believing in Jin’s father as the director of this sanctuary a place were hybrids had a chance to make the rest of their lives better, a place where they could heal from their past and recover from their traumas. When I heard about Yoongis past I felt the ground under me fall, at first I couldn’t believe such happened here out of all places and everything we’ve done to help the hybrids. The truth was much harsh then I wanted to believe and I couldn’t help but worry more and more for the hybrids at the clinic, what if it Yoongi wasn’t the only one? What if there were more cases like this still happening?

I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if this carry on happening, I’ve taken care of hybrids for so many years they are beings just like us and deserve to be treated fairly. Yet things like this still happen, it wasn’t of my nature to simply let things go as much as I have to focus on Yoongis situation for now, I wouldn’t let things slide that easily. Jin’s father doesn’t deserve to be the director of the clinic, I understand Jin and how hard it must be for him now especially since his own father it’s solid problem here but that doesn’t mean his dad can make those decisions without being held accountable for it, we manage to free Yoongi only because coincidentally another hybrid was there to take his place, what Yoongi went through could still happen to another hybrid and that wasn’t something i wanted to happen and I wouldn’t let it happen.

I made sure Yoongi was left resting and seeing as he went straight to sleep after getting in his room I knew I could leave and he would be fine for now. This week has been very stressful for Yoongi and I kept thinking if rushing with the exams on him wasn’t pushing him too much at this point, from the outside one seemed to be doing much better now but looks could lie when it came to your health and I worried for him more and more. All this time hes been under experiments cold have done some real damage to his body and we had to make sure he was fine - I had to know if he was fine.

Once I got in the small computer room I’m meet with Jin’s figure standing beside one of the assistants who sat on the chair while showing Jin the exams results, this would be my last stop for tonight it was already way past my work time and I had been in the clinic for the entire day to make sure Yoongi was fine after everything that happened. So much had happen today and my body was begging to go home now. I could feel the tiredness at every muscle.

- y/n come look at this - said Jin, once he notice my presence as I approached them.

As I stood beside him I looked up at the exams shown on the screens in front of me, there were two screens in which one showed Yoongis vitals in the moment the exam were taken and the other was a full body image scan from his internal structure and every muscle on his body.

- how is he? - I asked checking the screens.

- he is fine from what we can tell from the results - said the assistant whose name on the badge on his coat said “Jake” while looking up at me and Jin - he does not have any fractures or internal bruises.

- that’s good to know…

- although y/n, i think you should talk to him - Jin added, his eyes stared into mine with worry in that moment.

- why? - i asked noticing the look he shared with the assistant.

- tell her what you said to me - Jin leaned against the table crossing his arms over his chest.

Something seemed to be wrong and I knew it in that moment when Jin turned his gaze away from mine, worry began to boil over every cell on my body. Yoongi didn’t seemed to be okay the whole time during the exam and now that Jin has been acting strangely, I felt even more uneasy.

- well, if you look here y/n… - the assistant Jake said, pointing at the screen in front of him showing Yoongis body scan - you see this red waves of light on his body?

The screen showed Yoongis thermal image scan, commonly used to detect any differences or slight changes on the hybrids health since infrared emissions from a body are directly related to their temperature. From the looks of it his body seems to be emitting more heat then a normal hybrids should, I’ve never seen anything like that before.

- his body temperature seems pretty high, could it be fever? - I asked.

- in this case not exactly, you see the hints of pink around him? - i only nodded to him as he continued explaining, still not understanding what he meant with all that - this kind of waves are hormones and from the looks of it they kept coming back and forth bigger, in this scale it means the hybrid is under heat.

- what? - I exclaimed.

- i felt skeptical at first too, since you mentioned that he has no heat - Jin added, turning to look at me - but the exams tell otherwise.

- behavior exams would have to be taken if you want to make sure of it but, it is very clear in the scan that he is in heat - the assistant Jake affirmed.

- I understand… its just, why would he lie about it? - i held my forehead in contemplation, walking to the other side of the room I didn’t know what to do in this moment and as i turned to Jin feeling as lost as he seemed i knew were complicated now.

- maybe he.. he was trying to delay the mating process - Jin muttered.

I didn’t know how to feel in that moment, it was much clear that Yoongi has been lying this entire time about his heat and I couldn’t deny any of it. I was disappointed to know he’s been hiding that from me all this time, i felt a little betrayed even but I couldn’t blame him for hiding it from me as much as i hated to admit, Yoongi has been through a lot is natural that he wouldn’t trust so easily. The fact that he has been hiding his thought meant we couldn’t hold the proper care for him, he could be in much discomfort if not taken care of too.

I kept thinking about Jin’s words for the rest of the night, Yoongi had good reason for trying to delay the procedures since he’s been through much worst and i wondered if he thought it wasn’t just a get away to hurt him and for that reason he tried to delay the process, It was great to know that Yoongi was perfectly fine after all that hes been through but the fact that he was hiding from me his heat this whole time made me uneasy. It meant i was completely wrong this whole time about him, I couldn’t help but feel like a failed to notice something so crucial this whole time. I should’ve know it before anyone since i was the closest to him and now his actions so far had a complete different meaning especially since i knew the truth now.

Later as me and Jin were exiting the clinic he made sure to assure me he would be taking care of Yoongi tomorrow since i wasn’t going to be present, while telling me to rest for the big day on Monday we said our goodbyes.

My body was completely exhausted, once i got home all i could do was fall over the sofa tiredly and contemplate todays events even though all I wanted was to rest different from my body my mind simply couldn’t turn off. I couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi, replying all of his behaviors in my head collecting every piece to put together the puzzle I didn’t when i was with him in the clinic. The more i thought about it the more guilty i felt, it was clear from the moment i saw him for the first time and yet it went right past me. I had been working with hybrids for so long that something like this shouldn’t go unnoticed by a doctor, i simply ignored all of the signals. Feeling even more embarrassed i had let myself wonder to the point i let him bite me and do even more after - why on earth would he do that if not from being under heat? - Yoongi wasn’t heaving bad side effects from the heat stimulants when he acted out and attacked someone, it was clear to me since he was actually in heat but I couldn’t picture why he acted that way to someone, if the heat stimulants were effecting him this whole time it would explain why he felt attracted to me - i still couldn’t understand why he would attack someone and i kept rethinking again and everything but nothing came to mind.

What was i suppose to do with this information now? Yoongi could be lying about more things to me and I wouldn’t even know. Jin did advise me into talking to him about it but how can I believe now?

As angry as i was with him now, i know he didn’t do it on purpose. He must have a reason for hiding things about himself, as Jin mentioned he must be trying to delay the mating process but I couldn’t help thinking there was more to it then it shows. I can’t blame him for that even if it makes me angry, i too am lying and hiding things from him - after all he was the victim here not me.

I still can’t believe how messy my emotions have become ever since i meet him, the more time i spent with him the more he captivated me in ways i never thought were possible. I never once felt this way about a hybrid before, it was never a problem treating them until a meet Yoongi. The snake hybrid i never even though to meet once was now under my care, more then that i manage to break the rules of the clinic because of him and the more I told myself I wouldn’t cross those lines again i simple failed miserably.

Looking back now i don’t really know what about him that makes my body burn in the best way possible but every time i was with him it felt like every cell on my body wanted to be close to him. I didn’t wanted to cross that line again if it meant hurting him.

i just had to do the right thing for now.

For the both of us.

[…]

Sunday went by so fast I didn’t really got much rest. I bearly had any sleep last night, kept thinking about Yoongi and an unsettling feeling was boiling up inside me the more i thought about today. Meeting Yoongi today shouldn’t be so hard after all i was his doctor but we crossed that line so many times our relationship was anything but a normal doctor and patient type of relationship anymore. I didn’t know were to stand in this i know i didn’t stoped myself from going over the lines and that led to the moment i was most afraid of, my emotions were everywhere torn into pieces and spread all over the floor. It felt like i was sinking alone in a boat. All my fear were washed away from my mind as soon as it as with Yoongi, everything made sense to me but as soon as i left his room I’m once again alone in that boat.

Trying to ignore those feelings were useless now, I can’t hide from him how i feel. I’ve been trying miserably to do that and it only got us both hurt, i wanted to tell him everything but that meant Alison telling him the truth about this whole process to begin with. It was selfish of me to think of that, what would he think of me once i tell him? I certainly don’t expect a hug from him, he would probably hate me. After everything i felt like I owed him the truth, he must think I’m playing with his feelings and since he is in heat all his senses were in a much higher frequency. To distract myself from the nervous feeling that runs down my whole body, i tried to think about my tasks for the day ahead of me useless as his lies were still stuck in my head.

The whole night i kept rethinking about the incident that led him into bitting another coworker at the clinic, I was afraid he hurt someone without a reason now that i knew he was hiding his heat and more than anything i feared it was because of me.

Hybrids in heat can get very dangerous sometimes, their instincts are at maximum speed going beyond any rational thought. If taken too lightly it can end up very messy - i took it much lightly that time by ignoring clear sings of heat all because it came from Yoongi - all this time I’ve been so caught up in my feelings for him I didn’t notice how much that would cost me. I’ve never had that problem before but Yoongi just had that hypnotic aura around him I didn’t even notice when it was too late. Questioning even more my capabilities as his doctor, maybe it was best if i took some time out of this.

I keep getting distracted by him every time I’m with him and that is costing us too much, maybe I’m not the right person to do this as Jin had believed. Certainly falling in love with his patient didn’t include in that faith.

The more that creeped into my mind the more stressed i felt, since today was the first step for the mating process i was already making my way to Yoongis mating room to encounter Jin there and from then carry on a quick check up on Yoongi before anything happens, the hybrids would meet for the first time today and all i could think about was the unsettling feeling inside my stomach.

While being free from the directors claws Yoongi would still proceed with the mating since Jin decided that carry on the mating process would be more beneficial for the hybrids as they would be able to meet someone just like themselves for the first time and have the opportunity to engage on their journey together. Now that we found out about Yoongis heat as well Jin thought it would be much better for him since things were escalating faster then he thought.

Hybrids have the natural need of a mate, it is more then sexual desire but a connection they can count on and protect. Hybrids without a mate often end up in severe depression and in very rare cases they might die of loneliness.

The importance of the mating process goes beyond continuing the species.

As I’m making my way through the white corridors of the seventh floor to Yoongis mating room I find Jin also going in the same direction, his attention fully on the papers he had at hands. I quickly matched up with him finally getting his reaction to my presence.

He gave me a small smile before turning to look ahead of us as we got closer to Yoongis room.

- how are you feeling about today? - he asks.

- nervous but.. excited for Yoongi - i tell him, trying my best to ignore the bitterness under my tongue.

- me too, i truly hope this goes well for him - he added, before signaling towards the door for Yoongis room.

I quickly made my way to opened for us inserting the code for it on the digital screen beside the door, it made a sound before opening completely and i walked in before Jin.

The lights were on a warmer tone then usual and the room temperature seemed more humid this time, aware of Yoongis presence lying down on his bed almost fully covered on the messy sheets of his nest if not for his dark hair you could bearly tell he was there, at out noisy entire he slowly began to get up. The view of his full figured instantly making my heart beat faster from both nervous and eagerness at the same time. Once I heard the sound of the door closing behind me as Jin took place beside me giving me a small smile of encouragement and I took a few breaths before approaching Yoongi on his bed as he slowly sit up staring at both Jin and i.

- hey Yoongi, i came to check your skin today, mind if i do? - i ask him softly, his eyes went from Jin to me before tiredly nodding.

It felt much different seeing him now I didn’t want to make this uncomfortable but something already felt wrong when i saw him today. It just seemed like the Yoongi i knew before wasn’t here anymore, i know it was him right there but something about him was different. Maybe it was just me and my point of view from him had changed since the exams came proving about his heat, all my internal monologues about his behavior and the fact that there was much more that he was hiding.

I can’t just make him tell me everything and that wasn’t what I wanted, what I wanted was for him to trust me but that wasn’t something you could force. It just bothers me how he didn’t trust me yet when I had all those feelings for him boiling inside me to the point i could feel the bitterness at the tip of my throat.

I watched as Yoongi got up not saying anything as he unbuttoned his white shirt to expose his scales, walking closer to me stopping a feet away in front of me while he did so. Aware of how he kept looking behind me at Jin, i could only wonder why he seemed to be so concerned about his presence every time he was around but, now that i know the truth about Jin’s father i can only assume is because he knows Jin’s the son of the men who did this to him.

Once he was done I started by examining the scales on his neck carefully moving the shirt away to enough uncover more of his skin, i was glad to see his neck scales seemed fine now moving on to the scales on his ribs the last time I checked them he had some deep scratches on them but now it seemed it had healed much more, Yoongi was recovering pretty fast that was good news at least.

I moved around him to check his back sliding the shirt down to expose the skin for my eyes, his back was the part we’re the most damage was done but now the marks of scratching were almost completely healed.

- your skin is in much better condition - i comment walking around to stand in front of him.

- that’s good to hear - Jin added, a smile on his face walking over to us to hand me Yoongis medicine.

- thanks Jin - i took the small container from his hands, ignoring the small mint our finger slightly brushed over each others.

Looking up to Yoongi as he seemed to sand daggers through his eyes at Jin, the tension was set in the room way before I had stared but now it was even thicker. Cleaning my throat to get his attention which worked as he now started into my eyes with his dark eye dark glossy ones.

- here this are supplements, you’ll take them for a while - i tell him while handing him the pills - since you just started eating again you’ll need this to help balance your diet.

He nodded taking the pills from my hand and swallowing them all at once.

- I’ll get you some water… - before i could take one step away from him he held my arm back, pulling me towards him.

- don’t need it - he murmured over my face, eyes looking for mine as I nervously looked anywhere but him.

It wasn’t too much but a single act could spike a different thought on Jin, i worried he would get things wrong or not so since it wasn’t a lie something was going on between me and Yoongi but now it wasn’t the time for that. His grip over my arm wasn’t too hard and that wasn’t what was making me even more nervous now, the fact that Jin was present there was. Usually Yoongi doesn’t go too far in front of someone else and it made me anxious that he had pulled me too close, the last thing i wanted was for anyone to find out about us. More especially, Jin.

- ok.. - i pushed him slightly away.

I didn’t know how to act in that moment, forcing myself to look up at Jin who just stood there looking at us questioning, he didn’t comment but I knew he catched something the moment our eyes met.

- just got a message from Namjoon he’s ready now, can we carry on? - Jin said.

I was thankful for the change of subject, if he would ask about it later I wasn’t so sure. Jin was more invested on Yoongis case now and from everything that has happened he wanted to get all the details from him to make sure we could treat him with anything he might need.

If Yoongi was showing signs of discomfort with someone we must separate them immediately and it is the opposite we need to know why to ensure his recovery. Being closed to people when you need to be taken care of is not the best scenario. I didn’t know if Jin was catching on it but I couldn’t bet on it to find out.

Yoongi was showing more signs of heat as his need for closure was growing more by now, i didn’t wanted to test how territorial he could get with Jin’s presence.

- oh, yes - I turned back to Yoongi - today is the first step of the mating process, we’ll introduce you to your… partner, soon she will be brought here is that okay with you?

We had everything set up already but asking him first was a safety measure, if one of the hybrids didn’t felt like they can go on to meet we need to cancel it immediately and then make sure they are able to carry on later.

He sighted loudly and then nodded, closing the buttons of his shirt impatiently.

It seemed I wasn’t the only bitter one about this. He wasn’t much happy about the mating from the moment he heard about it, I still didn’t know why thought. Yoongi was the first male hybrids I’ve ever treated who didn’t seem to want to mate, although the signs he needed that were clear and he could bearly hide them anymore, he kept his guard. In that thought I remember how he’s been lying about it, we still had much to talk about that but there wasn’t the right time for it so for now we just had to get over the first step of the mating process.

A grip on my hand made me stop on my tracks as I had turned to leave already, I looked over my shoulder seeing as Yoongi was standing right behind me. Turning completely to look at his face, his mouth opened and closed a few times and he looked down still holding my hand.

- are you going to watch this? - he murmured only for me to hear, his question catches me off guard, dark eyes looking behind me and I didn’t need to turn to know he was looking at the mirrored glass wall.

- I have to, is part of the process - i tell him honestly.

He nodded understanding, letting go of my hand. I give him a small smile before turning to leave.

Nothing much then both hybrids being introduced and having a time for themselves alone to get to know each other would happen now, although we didn’t know how Yoongi would react since his heat had already started. We don’t usually put hybrids in heat to mate but let them get to know each other before that happens to ensure their safety, since his case was very delicate we had no choice but to continue with the process.

Jin and I left his room as he massage Namjoon to confirm he could bring the female hybrid to the mating room, for the first steps of the mating process as their doctors we must watch over them as they meet for the first time and ensure they are okay while doing so. Anything could happen in that moment from good to worst case we should still be ready and prepared to assist the hybrids.

For that a small room was designed right beside his separate by the window, he couldn’t see us here only his own reflection.

Me and Jin quickly took our place there waiting for Namjoon to come, i could see Yoongi in the room through the glass window as he just stood there in the middle of his room were I had left him waiting.

Jin was walking from side to side looking at his phone from time to time he seemed nervous but excited at the same time, i wish i could share the same feeling but the more i waited for what was to happen the more bitterness seems to grow at the tip of my throat making me swallow hard multiple times.

It was so selfish of me to feel this way - I couldn’t only think of that - getting attached to a hybrid on this level wasn’t right especially for my position. I could only get hurt in the end. Yet here i stood, feeling my heart beating faster and faster as the minutes passed, stomach doing flips inside me.

The was the muffled sound of the door in the room opening but i didn’t look up, I was afraid to even look at it. Anxiously staring at floor instead, Jin moved beside me to get closer to the mirrored window thankfully not noticing my face. The sound of Namjoons voice on the other side of the wall filled the small room I was in as he entered the mating room with the female hybrid.

That was it, my heart clenches in my chest. Looking up finally to see his back turned to us as he faces Yoongi a few feet away from him and the presence of the female snake hybrid right beside Joon.

My eyes immediately turned to the female hybrid, it was the first time I saw her too the only thing I knew about here was that she wasn’t a black mamba like Yoongi but a python. No one knew if breeding two different snake species would work in their favor but snake hybrids were already difficult to find and there wasn’t much choice.

I could only see her from the back but I could tell she was much smaller then him, maybe a few inches shorter then me, she had long black hair that went down her hips and from the looks she had a very petit figure wearing the usual gray uniform from the clinic.

Namjoons voice filled my ears as he quickly introduced them to one another, none of the hybrids moving forward or saying anything as he speaks only. The introduction didn’t took much longer for my displeasure and once he was done with his he left the room, leaving both hybrids alone.

It seemed like the moment he closed that door to leave my insides were doing a roll back and forth like a roller coaster, all the air in my lungs were gone completely as i watched both hybrids through the glass wall, bottom lip harshly pressed against my teeth as if it would stop my stomach from doing flips.

They couldn’t see us here and i was glad, for once i felt like I would be able to hold my facial expressions as my whole world seemed to be falling apart. Voices deep down in my mind screaming even more, louder each time.

‘’you should be happy for him’’

‘’you don’t deserve him’’

‘’stop acting so selfish’’

I knew he would forget me completely once he meet the female hybrid, someone who’s just like him. She would be better to him then me, hybrids were made for each other not for humans. We were here to help them not use them, that hybrid would be able to complete him in a way I could never and can share with him the connection he needs. I should’ve knew better before, hybrids act on instinct completely when it comes to their heat. I should’ve know better before letting he take me in the bathtub, before he kissed me. I should’ve had set the lines between us, now is too late.

Watching as he was the first one to make a move and walk up to the female hybrid, heart clenching in my chest as he closed the distance between them completely, grabbing the female hybrids face to turn to the other side.

The air was punched out of my lungs at the sight of them, i wished i could just brushed it off and forget it already. But the sight of in front of me was the hard pill I had to swallow, specially once Yoongi leaves a lick over her cheek.

At that i found the strength to turn around, lucky for me no one notice my displeasure as i did so.

My bottom lip burned from biting to hard into it, the taste of blood wasn’t enough to cover the bitterness though. I didn’t wanted to look at it anymore, focusing on the white wall instead - so this is what is like to have your heart broken?

How can it even feel this bad?

From that point things happen much faster, like a rushed dream. I stared over Namjoon in front of me who was now watching both hybrids with a hard expression on his face, I couldn’t tell why as I didn’t have the strength to watch anymore.

- get out of here.

Yoongis mufled voice on the other side of the wall filled my ears, I felt a cold chill down my spine at the words. His voice was bitter full of displeasure, something I never heard before even when he clearly showed dislike towards the other doctor.

In that second Namjoons eyes turned to mine worried.

- we need to hurry there.

He didn’t have to say twice. I only nodded in agreement fallowing him out of the small room and rushing towards the mating room, something seemed to have desperately wrong while they were there. This was the reason why we had to stay by, anything can happen to the hybrids when they are alone.

The weight in my chest still present as i entered the mating room behind Namjoon and he didn’t hesitate to approach the female hybrid carefully, leading her out of there while muttering words of assurance to her.

I didn’t move at all, my feet wouldn’t let me and every time I looked at him that image popped in my mind but I shouldn’t just stand there this wasn’t the time to let my feelings get in the middle.

I waited until i was sure Namjoon had left with the female before saying anything, something had gone wrong between them already even though they didn’t share a single word, Yoongi had rejected the female hybrid.

- Yoongi, you okay? - i carefully walked to him.

- no… - he said, he had his back turned to me the whole time - i dont wanna do this…

I sighted looking at the floor. He never wanted in the first place, we only did what we thought was going to be the best for him due to the circumstances but it completely slipped out of my mind we had been ignoring his displeasure with the whole process.

- I know… and I’m sorry for not respecting your feelings against it - I muttered, walking towards him till I was close enough to his figure.

I didn’t know what to do, what would be safe to do in that moment. He had shown anger before and I didn’t know if he wouldn’t do the same to me but something about how his tone was lower now gave me the confidence to carefully i hold his hand in mine feeling his cold fingers intertwined with mine, my heart was instantly filled with relief. Watching as he turned around slowly to face me, I looked up into his dark eyes as with his other hand he reached to hold my chin between his fingers so carefully like a touch of feathers.

- i want you y/n, no one else - he whispered his confession over my lips - just you.

- Yoongi…

The words were completely stolen away from me just like my breath.

- please… - he took another step forward making me take another backwards - have my heat with me.

His words were making me feel dizzy, he continued to walk making me nervously take steps back. All air in my lungs were punched out of me.

Heat?

Why would he say such thing right now?

Why would he make me so flustered after licking someone else’s face?

I was completely unable of forming a single same thought in that moment, the heat rising up to my checks as he continued with that game until his words repeated so much in my head all I could think about was;

- you lied to me.

It came out breathlessly through my bloody lips, enough to stop him in his tracks once he had me caged between his body and his bad. Dark eyes locked into mine, the back of my knees touching the edge of the bed and in a breath of moment he simply pushed me over the it and a gasp left my lips, I look up at him now sitting in front of him as his lowers himself down between my legs on his knees.

- i did.. - he confesses, hands slowly reaching up to rest over my thighs - you lied too.

I wasn’t surprised to hear that, I knew he was aware of it.

- i don’t wanna lie anymore - i sighted, his hand held my chin to look at him - the truth is…

My words stopped him from leaning forward, he looked up from my lips to my eyes clearly not expecting me to continue but I had to. This conversation had to continue, I can’t hide things from him anymore.

-the person responsible for hurting you all this years set this process up, they wanted to take you down but not before…. - I paused, taking another breath before continuing looking down from his face to my hands over my lap - to make you reproduce another of your specie.

I don’t lie how much relief I felt after telling him, like a weight had left my chest. But no relief was enough to cover the pain of telling him the truth, the fear of losing him once he knows everything.

- I see… well, I expected that - he spat bitterly, getting up to leave.

That fear creeping inside my chest once again, I desperately held his hand before he could take another step.

- I couldn’t let them do that to you… - I tried to explain - that’s why I’ve been…

- that’s why you’ve been so kind to me? - he scoffed, pulling away from me - no wonder you’ve always been so against us being together.

- Yoongi…

- why don’t you go back to that Jin guy you like so much? - he spat.

When he took the first step away was filled by a an unsettling fear, I could no longer take this. I’ve been miserably trying to hide my feelings thinking this was the right the thing to do for him but now, after everything and seeing him go like that I couldn’t keep failing him.

- i said no more lies - I murmured holding his hand before he could walk away, pulling him closer till he was at the same height as my eyes - i.. i want to be with you too…

The words left my lips breathlessly, in that exact moment with him I realized I could no longer hide my feelings for him. I didn’t wanted to hurt him and keeping things from Yoongi all this time was the worst decision I made. So I took another deep breath as he kneeled down in font of me again, before I continued.

- the truth is, this whole time i was afraid - i tell him honestly - I didn’t know if any of this was right, when i first heard about your case I immediately knew i had to save you and now that i know everything i just… i dont wanna lose you Yoongi. I want you too.

At this point i was biting into my lower lip so hard to stop the tears from falling, looking anywhere but him right now. My face burned with shyness at my confession, it was too late to hide anything, too late to stop what we created when clearly none of us wants to.

I felt his hold on my chin again one arm closing around my waist as he pulled me in a hug. I held him tightly only realizing in that moment how badly I needed that, feeling his warm body against mine, all the bitterness from before completely melted away. As he pulled away from me enough only to look into my eyes, his lips brushing softly over my cheek i could feel a small smile forming over his lips.

- took you long enough… - he murmured against my cheek.

-Yoongi… - i groaned, feeling my eyes burn.

With those little words from him I knew everything was gonna be fine, as I rested my forehead against his feeling all the worries wash away from my mind as he softly caressed my jaw.

- mate with me y/n… - he murmured against my face softly - please, my whole body is burning for you if i don’t take you now I’m gonna go insane.

- but I’m human… I can’t - i said, nervously but he quickly cuts me off.

- that don’t mean anything to me, if you dont mind me as I’m - he said breathlessly, holding my chin to look into his dark glossy eyes.

- i don’t mind you at all…

- then… - he brushed his fingers softly over my jaw down my neck, pulling my shirt slightly down show more of the skin.

From the look in his eyes i knew exactly what he meant by that, i knew this was not the best choice to make in this moment but i didn’t wanted to stop him. I wanted him just as bad.

- you can bite me now….

I had no intention to deny it anymore how much I longed for Yoongi. All this time I’ve been helplessly trying to suppress my feelings for him, they only grew stronger. Now I can’t do that anymore, I don’t think I can ever see him again with someone else who isn’t me.

The words that left my lips seemed to initiate a fire in his dark eyes, I never seen before and just like a touch of a switch in a second he was a complete different him, burning desire under those glossy eyes stared right into mine before he finally claimed my lips between his.

A groan of pleasure raised from his chest vibrating through his whole body, pushing me back into the bed as he kneeled between my legs one hand beside my head to support his upper body.

He pulled away gently as he draws over my jaw with his fingers, my hands rested at my sides feeling my whole body melting at his touch. Eyes locked over his wet lips, he seemed to notice his effect over me chuckling softly before taking my bottom lip between his again this time sucking deliciously hard on it then pulling away once again, teasing me to his own pleasure.

- i taste blood on your lips…. - he murmured, I looked up to his eyes as he caressed said bottom lip.

- oh, sorry?

- why did you hurt yourself? - he asked, tracing down my jaw to my neck then sliding over my collar bones trespassing my shirt.

- I was…. nervous a guess… when I watched you guys…- my cheeks burned under his eyes, I could bearly form any sentences with his finger trailing down my chest.

- don’t do that again - he said, holding my chin up to look at his eyes - don’t hurt yourself because of me again.

- I won’t… i mean… no-

He cuts me off immediately with leaning down my lips to lick over my bottom lip, feeling his wet tongue over my lips were the end of me. All self control I thought I had were gone in that instant and pulling him even more closer to kiss him, finger closing between the back of his hair.

My own moan was engulfed by his groan against my lips as I claimed his tongue, kissing him hungrily.

I didn’t wanted that moment to end ever, to feel his hands rushing all over my body as our bodies bun with desire the need to feel each other growing at every second. In that moment nothing else mattered, it was just the two of us intertwined with each other, loving each other desperately how we’ve been yearning for.

I had no thoughts of a tomorrow, all I wanted was in this present moment. It never matter that he was a hybrid, I was attracted to him the moment my eyes fell over him. Knowing he was different, knowing everything and that he lied I still loved him. I still want him, for who he is no matter what.

Pulling his hair harder the moment he left my lips to leave kisses over my jaw, not trying to be careful anymore as he continued to leave love bite’s trailing down my neck.

- you’re mine.. - he whispers, kissing softly under my ear.

I closed my eyes harder feeling my whole body melt under him, holding into him tightly draining my face on his neck feeling his scales at the tip of my nose. A shaky breath leaving his lips in that moment and my entire body tingled at the knew erogenous spot I found on him, burning with excitement i begin to kiss softly over the scales on his neck feeling his breathing fastening above my skin.

A sentiment of accomplishment filled me encouraging me to be bolder and I carefully bit into his ear lobe, I didn’t know what I was doing and was immediately surprised when he held my arms above my head in a second after i bit him.

Looking up into his eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine completely breathless, cheeks red and sweat beginning to form on his skin. He seemed just as surprised.

- sorry… - I managed to mumble.

- no… I’ve never been bitten before, it’s so good… - he confessed.

- does it mean more to you? - I asked, still confused and hot under him.

He only nodded over me a smirk forming on his lips. My cheeks instantly turned red.

- means the same for when I bite you… - he murmured - you’re mating with me… you’re accepting me.

- Yoongi… - I free from his hold over my hands to close my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me - I’ll always accept you.

Claiming his lips with mine again, this time i could feel all his body melt above mine with all his worries washing off of him in that moment.

If only I could froze this moment with him and stay in here forever, maybe then I wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow so much. If we would ever be able to be together like again.

Bold of me to assume this wouldn’t have any consequences, bold of me to let myself cross that line again today of all days.

The moment I heard the sound of the door opening I knew it was my doom and I didn’t think twice before pushing Yoongi away, quickly getting up into a sitting position as he reluctantly stood right there here not letting me go.

The mixed feelings I had in that moment would never be enough to describe how desperate I felt the second my eyes leaned over Jin’s figure standing right there.

No one said a single word for the longest second of my life, Jin looked at us then turned to the side showing his profile. Keeping his composure before speaking.

- I see what happened here, for now I need to speak in private with y/n - he said.

I couldn’t decipher what emotions exactly were crossing his eyes in that moment, I’ve never seen that side of him in all years of my career.

Looking up at Yoongi again pushing him by the chest slightly to get up this time he moved away for me, reluctantly but still. Before I could even take a step on Jin’s direction Yoongi held me back by the waist, turning to look at him now only to find his gaze staring back at Jin.

I could feel his whole body tensed up beside me and I knew he was ready to take matter in his own hands against Jin if he need to, this was not the best moment for such thing to happen Yoongi clearly took Jin’s words as a confrontation, a challenge against him over me.

- shit, Jin… I… - I breathed out shakily.

Noticing how I felt Yoongi instantly held my waist tighter.

- i don’t intend on making things more difficult than they have to be - Jin said, yes looking over Yoongi.

- really? Doesn’t look like - Yoongi spat at him, taking front of me protectively.

- no, Yoongi is fine… I should talk with him - i said, gently holding his arm.

He kept his gaze over Jin’s figure before slowly looking back at me.

- you’re leaving me… - it wasn’t a question.

- I’m not… ever - I murmured back to him, holding his face between my hands as i softly caressed his ear lobe the same I had bitten into before - I’m yours and you’re mine.

He closed his eyes leaning over my touch before slowly nodding.

- i’ll be right back okay? - at my words he opened his eyes, looking at Jin before turning back to me.

- ok.

I didn’t wanted to.

But I had to go now and fix things with Jin or else things my go down pretty badly especially since Yoongi feels like his territory has just been invaded, he was still under heat and could act out at Jin. I would hate to happen because of me, I must clear this out now. That is if I can even do that, i knew this would happen sooner or later I just hoped it could’ve at least wait until tomorrow.

With one last look at Yoongi taking a picture of his beautiful face right now to look back whenever I wanted to, I didn’t know how things would go from now or if I would ever get another chance to see him. I could only hope for.

I turned around to leave fallowing as Jin exists the room leaving the door opened for me, i don’t look back if I did I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.

In my head I couldn’t even complain about my own stupidity, feeling like a child that was going to be lectured by her parents for not fallowing the rules. I didn’t meet Jin’s gaze once we were out of Yoongis room, being embraced by the cold air the corridors of the seventh floor. I felt even smaller under his gaze.

He stood there in front of me not saying anything and I could only feel my anxiousness grow, bitting into my bottom lip I feared now would be the last time I’d see Yoongi.

- y/n…

- shit, Jin! - I interrupted him, helplessly feeling like my whole world has coming to an end. Eye burning with tears.

- y/n let me begin… - he said, hands holding my shoulders to make me look at him and I did.

I expected to see anger on his eyes, disgust even disappointment but I didn’t. He still had the same softness in his features as he always had.

- i understand, okay? - he softly said - i… know it might sound crazy but, is okay.

Is okay?

- what? Why?

- you… you’re just like my mom - he sighted, a small smile forming on his lips.

I was completely at loss for words, just what was happening right now?

I felt like I was getting dizzy at this point, I couldn’t understand a single word that came out of his mouth. I know Jin was a kind soul but this doesn’t make any sense to me, he shouldn’t be okay with this. What is happening?

All the years I spent working with Jin brought us closer to the point I knew, the more I looked into his eyes I knew something wasn’t right, he was hiding something from me in that moment and i wants sure if I truly wanted to hear it now.

- I’m so sorry to throw this at you now, I’ll explain everything later - he said, and I begin to feel even more anxious - all you need to now now is that, Yoongi is… he’s my brother.

Then the ground underneath me opened and swallowed me whole.

Shit, Jin.

Note: Jin watching the drama unfolds in the other room like 👁️👄👁️. Finally heeeeeereeeee god this was a ride. I hope you guys like this chapter as much as I liked (and stressed over it) to write. WHAT THEY BROTHERS??!

See you guys on the next one!!! It’s not too long but I think is good. Sorry for any grammatical errors! Love you all!!

Tag list: @ldysmfrst @i-have-no-life-charlie @juju-227592 @shycreationdreamland @yoongiwantsme @effielumiere @glosstwn @danielle143 @confessionsofascientist @dragons-flare @shadowyjellyfishfest @savannahhsworld @crystallizedtime e @fairywriter-oracle @rosquilleta @celticcountrygal @m4gg13-g @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @anaspectoflife @pandafuriosa60 @kimsonlyluv @slut-4-yourmom @itsskyvoltage @welcometomyworld13 @momnomnom @catlove83 @mukeovernetflix @yoongislatinagff @illnevertrustmyselfagain @cuntessaiii i @starrlo0ver @lopprhe @acquiescence804 @locket-hrt @prettytaesworld @myspi2010 @moonlightshostage @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @damiiworld @armydgirl @jaxyy219

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 💖☺️

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jgracie · 7 days

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HEY BLONDIE — LEO + DAUGHTER OF POSEIDON

masterlist | rules

♡ dedicated to covey @hopelesslyromanticshark the blueprint for the poseidon girlie x leo trope 😇 lovey > caleo 4eva (even the ship name is cuter!)

❝ daughter of poseidon x leo valdez!!!!! ❞ — anon

in which leo dates a daughter of poseidon

pairing leo valdez x poseidon!reader

warnings percys a bit of an ass in this lowk sorry guys (he didn't mean it i promise!!!), they have tech, andddd i lowk hate this but i haven’t posted in three days so 🙁 maybe i’ll rewrite it someday!!

on the radio . . . hey blondie (dominic fike)

an i’ve been DYING for someone to request this combo i love it sm …. also OGs remember when my bio was hey blondie 🫡 reader isn’t blonde dw (i’m not even blonde myself) !! also reader is a year younger than percy (making her the same age as leo)

Leo didn’t know Percy had a sister. Maybe he was living under a rock (he was - Leo spent the majority of his days at Bunker 9), but he just hadn’t considered the possibility of it, with Percy being a child of the big three and all

If Leo had known of your existence sooner, he would’ve burnt down Bunker 9 himself and spent the rest of his days glued to your side. He had met many people, but none as perfect and charming as you

You see, the boy was simply going to pass by Cabin 3 to show Percy this new gadget he’d made for him and see if he wanted to hang out sometime, since Leo hadn’t seen Percy in a while, when he met you - Y/N, Percy’s younger half-sister

“Hello, may I help you?” You asked, opening the front door of your cabin and being met with a boy with curly brown hair and big brown eyes. Immediately, you felt the heat radiating off of him increase and all of a sudden his brown curls were on fire

As a child of Poseidon, naturally, you’ve never been fond of fire, so this freaked you out. Knowing the water fountain was right behind you, you controlled the water with your hands and shot it at Leo, putting out the fire and drenching him in the process

Leo didn’t care, though. You could drown him for Hephaestus’ sake and he’d still come crawling back - okay, maybe that was a little much. He took in your worried expression and a wave of guilt washed over him as he realised how afraid you were

“I’m sorry, I have a hard time controlling my fire powers sometimes… Where’s Percy?” He asked, not even bothering to question your Godly heritage. You were very clearly a daughter of Poseidon

After that, things calmed down between you two. You let him in and although you were wary of Leo (and sat as far away from him as possible without being labelled as rude), patiently listened as he explained why he was looking for your brother

He then showed you the gadget he made and when Leo saw the way your eyes lit up at its mechanisms, he knew his life would no longer be complete if you weren’t in it

You gushed over the thing, pressing the buttons over and over again (which Leo didn’t have the heart to tell you would wear them down) and showering him in compliments - something that has never happened to Leo before

A grin made its way onto his lips. Sure, people have praised his creations before, but none of them did it the way you did, nearly bursting with excitement as you tried to handle it with utmost care

Part of Leo wished Percy would never come back to cabin 3 ever again, but speak (in this case, think) of the devil and he shall appear. That was his unfortunate cue to leave

He quickly showed Percy how to handle the device and was about to leave when you stopped him. Leo almost couldn’t believe his ears and almost leaped for joy when he heard you ask if you could pass by his cabin sometime, since you really wanted to see more of his stuff

That was the beginning of the most iconic friendship in Camp Half-Blood history

You quickly discovered you had a lot in common and so, you became attached at the hip. It was so bad that whenever someone was asked where one of you were, they’d give the location of the other since they knew there was an incredibly high possibility of you being together

Leo taught you how to use a screwdriver and weld and I can’t think of a third thing people who make machines do but you get the gist! And in return, you taught him how to swim

His ability to swim (or lack thereof) was something which was brought up your very first time hanging out together at bunker nine. After many attempts, you finally successfully hammered a nail into a piece of metal (fyi I’m a daughter of Demeter I know absolutely nothing about this subject) and in your enthusiastic state insisted you go to the beach together

At your suggestion, Leo got awfully quiet and began shyly playing with a stray piece of metal. Your eyebrows furrowed, confused for a second about the shift in his behaviour, when it finally clicked

“Oh my Gods, Leo, do you not know how to swim?” You asked, hesitant - you didn’t want to embarrass the poor guy. He looked up at you and nodded, pouting at the way your lips wobbled as you tried not to giggle. You weren’t laughing at him, of course, you just thought it was really cute

Grabbing him by the arm, you began to drag him to your cabin and said, “c’mon, I’ll teach you! It’ll be like me repaying you for teaching me how to do all the fancy things you do with metal!”

You guys started going to the beach more often after that. At first, you were just teaching Leo how to be in a body of water and not drown, but once he got the hang of it you started having swimming competitions and introducing him to all your fish friends!

They’re always telling you to hurry up and confess because it's so obvious that you like Leo and you keeping it to yourself isn’t doing you any favours but you can’t. Why? Because you don’t think Leo likes you back

Meanwhile Leo’s sitting on the sand next to you admiring the way you seem to gain life by being near a body of water, having to push his fire powers down whenever you’d pull him closer to you, the only thing filling the space between you being the water of the ocean

You are quite literally Mr and Mrs Oblivious. Everyone can tell you like each other but yourselves

It’s actually really funny because you run in the same circles so you tend to complain to the same people about how the other can’t tell you like them and they’re just sitting there trying SO hard not to facepalm

Most of the time you two go to Annabeth, simply because she’s the only one you believe can keep a secret as big as your crushes. Unfortunately for you she and Percy come as a packaged duo, which means Percy’s aware

She didn’t mean to tell him but one time after a heated discussion with you where you analysed Leo’s every move it was still fresh on her mind and she let it slip

Ever since then, Percy’s been eyeing Leo, who’s definitely noticed the behaviour switch. It’s not like Percy had anything against you dating - you were only a year younger than him, after all, and you never tried to stop him and Annabeth from dating - but he couldn’t help but feel a little protective

An extra year of life still made you his baby sister! He’d insist to Annabeth that it doesn’t bother him and Leo is a good guy and his friend so he’s happy that the two of you reciprocate each other’s feelings then turn and give the poor boy a glare so terrifying it’d make a hellhound cower in fear

While all of this is happening, Leo’s freaking out. He’s absolutely losing his mind because all of a sudden Percy no longer likes him which means he’s probably noticed he likes you and disapproves of your potential relationship

All these thoughts cause him to spiral and eventually distance himself from you. It was just occasionally rejecting plans but then it turned into him somehow always being busy, and it broke your heart

Percy, being the kind and loving brother he is, asked you what was wrong on one of those days and you had to fight the urge to burst into tears as you told him about how you thought you did something to hurt Leo

You see, Leo was your first real friend at camp. Sure, you had other friends, but they were all just casual acquaintances you’d talk to whenever you happened to see them. Leo was your first best friend, which meant a lot

In that moment, Percy knew what he had to do

“Hey, why’re you avoiding Y/N?” Percy asked, barging into bunker nine, his arms crossed as he stared down Leo, who was busy making something (as usual)

Leo, who hadn’t been fully listening, looked up to find none other than Percy Jackson standing in front of him, “what?” He asked, his eyes widening

“I said, why are you avoiding my sister?” He repeated, the scowl on his face deepening. Percy was usually a pretty nice guy, but that could change really quickly if anyone ever even thinks of hurting his loved ones (loyalty is his fatal flaw after all)

Putting his tools down, Leo stood up, suddenly defensive. Why was Percy putting the blame on him? He was the reason Leo decided to talk to you less in the first place. Doing that to you really hurt Leo, but he wasn’t going to let himself get close to you just to end up heartbroken and without two friends in the end

“Do you hate her all of a sudden, is that it? Because if that’s the case, you should at least be kind enough to voice those thoughts so she can find new friends–”

“Dude, I love Y/N. Who put that in your head?” Leo interrupted, “I’m avoiding Y/N because I’ve seen the way you look at me, Percy. I get it, you’re not happy that I like her, and I don’t want to bother you or put a strain in your relationship, so I’ve distanced myself.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He avoided you because he loved you, because he didn’t want there to be any trouble between you and your brother because of him, and yet somehow here he was being accused of hating you?

You’re the first person Leo truly felt love for ever since his own mother. How could he hate you

“Tell her,” Percy said. He felt immensely guilty as the realisation that he was the reason why you’d almost lost your crush and best friend hit him. He never meant for it to go this far, and honestly, the glances weren’t even purposeful - he just couldn’t help it

“She likes you too, literally everyone at camp knows it, you’ll be fine. And Leo, I’m really sorry I made you feel that way. I didn’t mean to, honestly, I just really care about Y/N and don’t want her to get hurt. But I know you won’t hurt her, so… I approve.”

When I say Leo ran so fast to your cabin that he left a whole trail of fire behind him, I’m not exaggerating. He passed by Flowers and Vines (Demeter + Dionysus kid flower shop/fruits market iykyk) and set their crops on fire, quickly making himself their mortal enemy

He couldn’t care less though. You liked him back! In a few moments, he’d confess and you’d agree to date him and you’d finally be his

And confess he did <3 you were a little mad at Percy at first for unintentionally separating the two of you but after three days’ worth of grovelling you were fine

You couldn’t be too mad, after all, since you now had your fireboy

(The crowd cheers!!!! After 5 pages of backstory you get actual dating hcs)

Okay so I just want to start by saying that Leo is literally like a raven or a cat or whatever animal it is. He’s constantly finding the randomest trinkets and just giving them you for no reason

He goes to the beach a lot on his own whenever he misses you because the salty air smells just like the crook of your neck and often comes back with a bunch of seashells, randomly shaped rocks and one time an actually alive sand dollar

You spent so long teaching him how to spot one that’s alive and one that’s dead so when he saw a sand dollar he got really excited at the idea of you being proud of him remembering the difference that he’d forgotten it

His favourite things are the seashells though. Why? Well, because he can turn them into cute jewellery for you, duh!

It started off as a silly little idea. He found a cute seashell and thought ‘what if I strung a piece of thread through this and made it a necklace for my beautiful hot gorgeous pretty siren mermaid cutie pie Y/N?’

He ended up doing it and you loved it so much he decided he’d make you a whole collection of seashell jewellery

The second time around, he made an actual chain for the necklace because you’re deserving of more than some lousy thread!!!

Then he began making bracelets and rings and earrings and all sorts of other things for you. Somehow, despite making so many of them, Leo managed to make them all unique in their own way. Your favourite, however, was the seashell locket he made you for one of your anniversaries

Inside of the locket is a picture you took together on the beach. It was from back when you were just friends, but you looked so gorgeous in it Leo couldn’t help but choose it for the necklace

Also, you guys are LITERALLY fireboy and watergirl

You’d had an epiphany one day whilst lying your head on his chest and the gasp you let out had Leo worried you were dying for a second

When you told him this, Leo was confused. Being in the foster care system at a young age then sent to wilderness school then doing demigod things left very little room for him to discover modern things other people his age liked

You immediately took him to the little computer you shared with Percy and opened up fireboy and watergirl (the OG game of course, not one of the newer editions) and taught him how to play

Honestly, Leo’s really bad at it. Like at first you thought he just needed to get the hang of it but then you reached the one year anniversary of when you first showed him FB & WG and he was STILL awful at it (also yes you know what day that is. You and Leo have anniversaries for everything)

“Leo!” You exclaimed, unable to watch as the try again prompt popped up on the screen. After about 50 times doing this level (which you had completed on your own before just fine), you’d finally gotten to the last hurdle when, of course, fireboy had to fall into the green slime

Leo pouted, once again prepared to fight his case, “Fireboy’s an idiot! It’s not my fault you get to control the smarter one out of the two!”

“Nuh, uh! Fireboy’s so much easier to control! He has the arrows, watergirl has WASD, which is way harder!”

“Fine, you control him, since he’s so easy to use!”

“But I’m Watergirl! I can’t have you killing me too!”

You’d have this conversation almost every single time you played the game. It got so bad one time Percy had to block the fireboy and watergirl website from the computer

Which was stupid because Leo’s literally a son of Hephaestus so all he had to do was touch the computer and it quickly became unbanned!

Also I think all children of Poseidon have an obscene amount of fish/sea animal merch. Specifically plushies

Leo stayed the night at your cabin once thinking ‘oh my Gods I’m gonna be sleeping with Y/N for the first time WTF WTF WTF!!!’ only to end up sleeping with Chelsea the starfish instead

He teased you a little at first but you’d refused to talk to him after that so he accepted them into the L/N-Valdez family (despite them hogging the bed 😒)

Now, he also defends the plushies like his life depends on it. If someone even DARES to utter a word against Haley the seahorse its ON SIGHT fr

He also keeps a mental note of all the names of your plushies to see if he can figure out a theme with the kinds of names you like for when you name your future baby but that’s a story for another day!

#leo valdez x reader #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x y/n #leo valdez #leo valdez x fem reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x reader #pjo x reader #leo valdez fanfic #pjo fanfic #leo valdez drabble #leo valdez x poseidon reader #daughter of poseidon #children of poseidon #poseidon pjo #cynwrites

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beenoeila · 2 months

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A list of underrated fics I adore.

▪️this don’t feel anything like sinking by

@dontcallmebree

A little over six weeks and his knee heals only for his breathing to act up. It may have been a handful of decades—coming up on a century, even—but he never did forget how it felt to wheeze through the night.

Steve sees it coming when Dr. Youssef tells him his lungs are taking a turn.

The year 2032 brings about the Summer Olympics, the coldest winter of the decade, and an end to Project Rebirth.

🔹 Learning to want by @luna-rainbow

Bucky is still trying to piece together his memories, but at least he now had Steve with him.

When Steve asks him if he wanted to meet with his sister, Becca, his response was, "I don't know about wants...I'll start with the shoulds."

Steve and Bucky goes for lunch with Becca. Steve and Bucky dealing with memory loss. Steve and Bucky being mutually pining idiots.

▪️better to speak or die by emilywithoutY (@between-a-ship-and-a-hard-place)

Summers in C. are as endless and hazy as when they were kids. All James wants is to play his part well enough that his mother stops looking at him with that twist of regret in her smile.

The only thing to break the sun-soaked monotony is the arrival of the new summer intern. While the rest of the household—and half the village—fawn over Steve Roger’s movie star looks and understated charm, James finds him aloof and his polite interest near unbearable.

But as they collide in vulnerable moments, the sparks of frustration ignite something neither has the power to stop.

Do you think Jonathan understood what happened that day David first stepped into his father’s court?

🔹The weapon remembers by pushdragon

The Winter Soldier finds old fantasies of Steve in his memory, and takes them for reality.

He's got two days to sort out all his mixed-up history, before he puts himself back in cryo freeze. Harder still, he's got to convince Steve to let him do it.

▪️Preberseeschießen by Ginny_Potter (@hipsterdiva)

Bucky takes his time, ignoring his comrades’ cheering and Gaiswinkler and Mariandl’s teasing. From his position, Steve only has an oblique view of Bucky’s face, which is mostly in the dark anyway – the strong line of his jaw, a smudge of grease on his cheekbone, a sweaty lock of hair curling on his forehead, his mouth pouting in concentration. Steve itches to draw him, to take out his battered sketchbook and reproduce that instant of perfect imperfection. Steve itches to touch him, push back his unruly curls, wipe away the smudge on his cheekbone, cup his face in his hands and…

Bucky breathes out and shoots. The bullet hits water… and there it is, the zapping sound of paper tearing.

The light turns on and off three times. Third circle. Just a lick out of bullseye.

The Howlies explode in cheers.

Or, the Howling Commandos play a shooting game with the Austrian Resistance and Steve has lots of unresolved feelings about himself, his new body, and his changing relationship with Bucky. In other words, comrades are comrades, angst looms, and Steve feels.

🔹Till there were no more wolves in the West

by @dharmasharks

“I’m afraid of a lot of things, Steve,” Bucky says softly.

“But this thing sticking in my heart—the part of me that’s yours? It is the best part of me. Maybe the only good part.” His rueful smile wavers. He makes a pained expression.

“What if it’s the only good part?” he asks.

Two Brooklyn boys find themselves aboard an orphan train headed west in 1854. Across farmland, war, and the lawless frontier, a childhood promise helps them find each other again.

(A Western SteveBucky retelling.)

▪️Hiraeth by ixalit

Hiraeth

noun /ˈhɪraɨ̯θ/

[Welsh] A homesickness or nostalgia, an earnest longing or desire, or a sense of regret. The feeling of longing for a home that never was.

🔹Undone by justanotherStonyfan

You’d think, given everything, that if one of them were going to regress, that if one of them were going to break down, it would be Bucky.

(Set mostly after Endgame - canon deaths remain but Steve doesn't leave)

▪️But You Can Hold Me (Only 'Cause It's a Cold Night in Brooklyn) by Voylitscope_speed (@voylitscope)

This should just be two friends getting off after the burlesque show. This should just be two pals both thinking about the girl. That would probably be okay, Bucky thinks.

But then he ruins it all when he says,

"Come here," and puts a hand out to tug on Steve's shoulder.

(Or: Sometimes, Bucky and Steve lend each other a hand, literally. Bucky tries not to be weird about it, but he's always been bad at controlling his thoughts about Steve.)

🔹Midlife Crisis by profoundalpacakitten

Steve isn’t expecting much of anything from life, he’s content to coast by, letting life flow past. Get up, get dressed, get to work, get home, get to sleep, rinse and repeat.

▪️ The Magic Touch by @broodybuck

The soldier is finally free but he has one big problem, he can't finish. Until he meets a man called Steve who apparently has the magic touch.

#stucky #stevebucky #fic recs #stucky fic

196 notes · View notes

harrysonlylover · 1 year

Text

Carolina (Part 1)

Summary: Her return to town sparks his interest, why hasn’t he seen her before? And does starting off on the wrong foot hide their attraction to each other?

Trope: Cowboy! H

Word count: 10.3k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption.

The west coast.

A place that citizens fawn over and pay their life savings to visit, some even manage the tiredness of flights and its jet lag just to see a glamorized land that is actually worthless.

She asks herself the same question everyday: “ How did I end up here?”. And every day she comes up with a new answer. For a while she was able to blame the whole planet and the Milky Way but later, she swallowed the hard truth and accepted that her fate was nothing but an influence.

Today she chooses to not think about , it is time to go home and despite it being a short period, she has learned to savor it in a memory that she revisits every morning and night.

The road is half empty as her feet rest against the dashboard, she can feel the northern wind pulling her in ,the farther they get away from Washington.

Oh, what a feeling.

Her friend Maggy is driving, allowing her to enjoy the leisure of doing nothing but enjoying the view as they pass through towns then back to Highways.

According to her all roads will eventually lead home.

Home is a farfetched idea for where they are heading, she isn’t exactly visiting her land, but anyplace in the North is home. Wide fields that stretch for acres of land, the friendly faces that can make a stranger find their roots, the animals that become family members, the fresh air and hard-working citizens that know each other since childhood.

There are many things that she can say about the North but afraid of never stopping she closes her eyes and raises the volume of the radio allowing ‘Edge of Seventeen’ by Stevie Nicks to play loudly.

She heads every month or two to Maggy’s hometown Great Falls in Montana, they have been best friends ever since they can remember. Maggy’s father is an old family friend and despite there being a long distance between the two states but they never missed visiting each other.

When she suggested studying at a university in Washington, Maggy’s jaw dropped to the floor, no one expected her to take that decision. But to be fair neither did she, yet what was she supposed to do when she had a fear of never doing something in her life or being stuck in one place.

Everyone spoke of the west coast’s glory, she had to see it herself, at least she wouldn’t regret any decisions later on.That was two years ago, now she dreads every class and every day spent in Washington. Give her a horse to ride, or a goat to care for, perhaps a dog to play with. Some beer while watching the sunset and sitting on the freshly mown grass, her family preparing dinner while her father and uncle quarrel on who makes the best gravy.

She has a week to spend in Montana before returning to Washington, she will learn to hold on to it before getting her BA in Fine Arts and fleeing away from that godforsaken place.

She wishes she can visit her homeland but it would be a waste of time as her entire family follows her up to Montana whenever she is there, they bring home to her, what else can she ask for?

“Home sweet home baby!” Maggy cheers as her car steps into the town’s entrance.

It is almost 4 in the afternoon but the day is still long, no hour is gone to waste in the North. She quickly puts on her brown leather cowboy boots and urges Maggy to stop the car.

“Where are you going, they’re waiting for us!”

“You go using your car, I’d rather walk all the way.” She gives Maggy no time to object before putting on her cowboy hat and running into the Lopez’s corn field.

Her hair is swaying with the wind, it is caressing her skin and cleansing any toxicity that she gained from living in an unpleasant place. She knows the field well after all everyone here is like her neighbor. The sun is out and about, forming a thin layer of sweat on her uncovered skin.

A smile is stuck on her lips as she walks around nearing the end of the field, another walk would not be a good idea as it is dinner time but maybe she’ll return in the evening with Maggy.

She can see the house clearly and begins to head towards it before a sound catches her attention. It is a horse’s hooves clicking against the ground, as far as she knows the Lopez’s do not have any horses.

The corns are tall and high and she is unable to spot it, what if he’s alone or worse.. injured.

She has no time to look, but she knows how to observe so she listens intently but it keeps getting nearer and nearer and nea-

“Hey girl watch out.” A man screams at her as a warning from the horse he’s riding.

He is late to alarm her but she is quick at ducking rapidly before the horse neighs and stands on his two hind legs, the man on its back holds on to him immediately avoiding a dangerous fall.

“Are you out of your mind?! You could have killed me.” She shouts at him as she stands up, removing some of the soil scattered against her skin. Luckily, she is intact but the edge of a fallen leave did graze her skin.

“Well I’m not the one strolling around in a corn field when I know it’s the easier route for workers to take. With horses might I add!” He stepped off the horse, caressing him gently as he scolded the foolish girl in front of him.

“Oh I’m sorry, how about I check your schedule next time?” She answers in a sarcastic tone at the man who she has never seen before.

Would it be bad to ogle a stranger that almost killed her?

He is wearing a cowboy hat just like her but it’s black instead, paired with his leather boots and low waist denims. She is trying really hard to recognize him but her memory fails her. He is shirtless and his skin is covered in tattoos, his abs are toned and are shining under the Northern sun that reflects the thin layer of sweat over a butterfly tattoo. His jeans are not enough to cover his V line or the tattoos peaking from his hips.

His biceps flex with every stretched movement he makes to pet the horse, his entire arms are also filled with tattoos. She is astonished to see a tatted cowboy, but hey there’s a first for everything.

“Oh you think you’re funny girl. Would ya be laughing right now if you were dead?” His northern accent isn’t very thick, but it is enough to show his anger. He was about to check if she is okay physically before she snapped at him and acted almighty.

“Seriously since when do you ride horses in an open field just to take an easier route, when you know that someone might be passing by.” Her tone is making him more furious by the second along with not recognizing her.

“Do not get sassy with me girl, it’s what we agreed on with the acceptance of field owners, even the cows know that.” He scoffed proudly getting back on his horse and fixing his cowboy hat. The black stallion seems to have calmed down a bit and is ready to be on the move.

“Don’t go around trying to get yourself killed, I don’t have all day to watch clumsy girls.” He tipped his cowboy hat and sped off on his horse in the direction he came from.

She can feel herself boiling with anger, and her entire body is dirty from the soil and corn dust, her hair has leaves in it and her hat gained a mini hole. She doesn’t even know who the hell that guy is but she is sure of one thing and one thing only.

No one talks to her that way at home.

She managed to sneak from the back of the house and climb up to Maggy’s window using a ladder that’s always placed in their ranch. She knocked continuously until her freaked out friend opened with a shriek.

“Why are you using the window and what the hell happened to you?”. She helped her get inside and closed the window again.

“Maggy do you know a guy with tattoos?”

She did not care less if her friend is worried about her. She must know who he is.

“W-what? What are you talking about and why are you covered in soil!” Maggy grabbed a towel for her and sprinted to the bathroom to prepare her a bath.

“He’s like shirtless with a butterfly tattoo on his abs and he has a black stalli-“

“Harry Styles.”

“I was walking in the Lopez’s field and then he jumps up on me with his horse out of nowhere and when I shout at him, he acts all smug. Doesn’t even apologise! And apparently the fields are a short route now!” She rants furiously as she paces around the room, aggressively getting a change of clothes and her shampoo from her duffle bag.

Maggy finally calms down after panicking about her friend, now she holds back a laughter fit knowing how Harry is. “First of all I told you about that decision but you were too busy watching The Office and Harry is nice, he’s my childhood friend.”

“Nice is a huge misunderstanding. He thinks he’s so cool, at least offer a sorry?! And he implied that I’m dumb.” Her body relaxes immediately in the ice-cold tub and the Pumpkin bath bomb melts quickly taking away her problems as well.

“Yeah well that’s Harry but once you get to know him he’s really sweet.” Maggy props up her change of clothes nearby and gives her another bath bomb.

“Plus if he’s your childhood friend how come I don’t know him? He didn’t recognize me too.” It is evident that she will not let it go, she hates unexplained situations and the whole ordeal will probably stay on her mind for a while.

“He left before you and I met, it’s quite funny now that I think about it, they were in Tennessee and visited rarely, they came back a while ago. The Styles’ are not to be messed with.”

“I really couldn’t care less, you should’ve seen the way he looked at me. That man is a dick.” She was scrubbing away the soil from her body with a local made loofah. The sun was beginning to set, and the view from the bathroom window facing the tub helped her nerves to calm down.

“Babe, let’s see what’s up later yeah? I’m starving.” It was as if the family knew of Maggy’s suggestion. The two girls overheard the bickering from downstairs about the mashed potatoes and gravy.

She loves home a lot.

The dining table was filled with homemade meals that feel like heaven after long months of Cafeteria lunches. The bath put her at ease and the pumpkin scent lingered around her skin, bringing home closer to her. Maggy’s father and grandmother hugged her tightly like their own as they welcomed her presence in their house.

Soon enough the obnoxious man faded from her mind and she found herself surrounded with loving people that make her heart burst.

“Literally we kept chasing him for a whole hour, I wouldn’t have been surprised if we reached Carolina!” Teddy, Maggy’s brother was telling the story of when his horse escaped and worried everyone.

“Ugh it’d be a shame if he reached Carolina, I would have had to come down there and bring him myself!” She joked, making everyone let out a laughter fit.

“As if you never returned for sillier excuses before.” Teddy replied making her shrug her shoulders like an innocent girl.

“But to be fair, we couldn’t have gotten him without The Styles’ help.” She dropped her spoon at Teddy’s remark and suddenly the gravy was no longer delightful.

“The Styles’ huh? How come I don’t know about them.” She ignored Maggy’s leg bump and continued to question everyone, despite them being clueless.

“Well I’m surprised you don’t. They own half of Montana and Tennessee.” Maggy’s father answered her between mouthfuls of Turkey.

“Harry Styles was the one who helped me get back Ray. He’s the State’s most famous bachelor and cowboy. He kept chasing Ray and reached him before us, then risked his life by standing in front of him but somehow, he managed to tame him. He’s a very talented man.” Teddy gave her a brief rundown on Harry and the more she learns about him the more she gets irritated.

“Oh how I love that cheeky boy.” Maggy’s grandmother mumbled as everyone around the table agreed.

And he’s loved by everyone. Isn’t it just great?

As the sun began to set, she found herself sitting near the barn with a bottle of beer in her hand, the scarlet colour of the sky reflected in her eyes as she fixed her sight on the burning clouds, even the baby goat in her lap was gazing upwards in awe, the shadow of the sun casted an orange paint against her skin. Just the same as the pumpkin bath bomb melting in the bath tub.

Maggy joined her with an enthusiastic smile, that told her all she needs to know. “I’m guessing Tim invited you for a drink?” She smirked at her friend before taking a sip from her beer.

“Invited us, so C’mon missy get dressed, everyone will be there. Time to get some threads loose.” Tim was Maggy’s crush, and she can tell it goes both ways. His family owns the town’s bar so whenever she’s around, her friend drags her there and honestly it’s not so bad.

“Only if you give me the hat you got from Missoula, that asshole ruined mine.” Her hand caressed the baby goat on her lap that is now dozing off to sleep.

“Oh my god, you are unbelievable. Fine whatever get dressed now.” Maggy groaned at her friend’s cheekiness as she knows that she’s after that hat.

“Oh what would I do without you!” She shouted to Maggy who was heading inside the house, her cheek got a bit sore from smiling and she gently wrapped the lamb in her arms, placing him inside before sipping the last drop from her bottle, thinking about what suits that amazing hat.

The Miller’s bar was packed just the right amount for her, she was able to spot friends and neighbours, familiar faces that put her at ease as she greets Tim. The smell of Whisky was lingering in the air, and the choice of songs was tasteful. She did not need guidance nor Maggy’s company, maybe she would’ve if they were back in Washington, but it is different here.

She got another beer bottle and conversed with an old friend as she stood in a corner, it could be just her tipsy mind or her confidence, but she can see how the girl is eyeing her up and down in a seductive way, and she knows exactly why.

She wore beige shorts that suit her tan and give her booty some acknowledgment along with her favourite white tank top that sits above a lace bralette, holding her cleavage perfectly. Her collarbone was prominent, and she smelled of pumpkins. Perhaps the hat is playing a role as well.

She decided to make a move after the girl got dangerously close but instead a commotion nearby interrupted the moment, she groaned internally knowing that Tim has kindly asked of her to keep her eyes around even though nothing ever happens, but isn’t it just her luck?

The sounds were coming from the other side of the bar where the Miller’s installed an electric bull machine as a monument, but what they didn’t expect is the town’s infatuation with it and their constant use of it. Some even had contests with bets and money involved, all was harmless of course and she hoped that is the case now as she headed there.

A group was gathered in front of the machine, and laughter was echoing around the room. She gently passed between them expecting a worst-case scenario and was instead met with the worst person.

The same man who embarrassed her in the field today and posed a risk to her physical safety was in front of her in all his glory, he was still in the same attire and shirtless, but he seems to have washed up and spent some time getting himself tipsy.

There doesn’t seem to be a contest but somehow he got everyone to gather around him and fix their attention on him. He was riding the bull at the highest speed, something that only real professionals can do, he is not completely conscious as well, no one is at a night in Montana.

His system seemed to work well as he acted the same way a non-tipsy man would. His ring clad hands were not holding on to the rope provided by the machine, instead his thin waist moved around along with the thrust of his hips as he stretched his arms wide as an affirmation and demand for the group to cheer.

Only insane people would not hold on to safety ropes at a high speed, but after her encounter with him, she’s not so sure she’ll ever consider him as sane. No one even acknowledged her presence despite being the princess of the town, not a glance in her direction.

His head was thrown back as he urged on the cheering more, his fingers were flexing in demand to raise the tone higher with a sly smirk on his face. One of the girls in the crowd threw a cowboy hat at him that he caught and placed smoothly on his head.

His continuous rutting against the machine, and hips’ roll allowed a boner to appear, and everyone cheered for him even more, his jeans tightened around his thighs due to the amount of weight and pressure he’s placing on his legs in order to balance.

He spotted her in the crowd, and she could’ve sworn that his smirk got bigger, he winked at her the first time, and when she crossed her arms over her chest with an angry expression on her face, he pointed at her and shouted.

“Hey clumsy girl, you should be careful from this bull coming alive and walking over you.” He was making an effort to speak, his voice overpowered by the music made a vein appear in his neck as he shouted loudly.

Despite no one knowing what he means, they laughed thinking it was some sort of joke which made her even angrier, she did not care anymore if the machine was on high speed or if it will actually come to life, she made her way near it and cut off its source of power.

He stumbled forward due to the sudden stop, and everyone murmured and went silent. He was caught off guard with her act, yet he raised his fist up in the air as his way of controlling the cheering that resumed.

He stepped off the bull smoothly and strolled in her direction, and she could see how tall he is, the cowboy hat was still on his head, with some of his curls peaking from beneath it.

“An eye for an eye girl? Fair. I’ll go find another riding activity.” He winked for the second time in a night, and the longer he stands in front of her the more she feels her blood boil.

“Yeah? I’m guessing you have a kink for throwing people off the bed.” She smirked back at him grabbing a new beer bottle.

“Only if they beg for it.” He leaned in and whispered in her ear, taking the bottle from her and having a long sip down his throat, before placing it back in her hand and walking away with a lazy stroll.

This is going to be a long week for her.

The field work waits for no one, ranchers are up from dawn ready for another day consisting of herding, saddling up the horses, checking on machinery, filling up hay wagons along with countless tasks that are no obstacle against Montana’s mighty cowboys.

There are days where the temperature rises rapidly bringing with it an unbearable heat, the same heat that distinguishes these beloved towns from other parts of the country.

She awoke with a fuzzy brain, having no energy to be angry or employ any type of emotion, today her parents would arrive and not being concentrated is the last thing she wants to be.

A simple breakfast skillet made her feel full and got her mind off things she doesn’t want to think about. She’s glad to have brought her sketching kit with her, so she tip toed around Maggy’s bedroom and fetched what she needed before heading out to the ranch.

The sunrise was a scene that she loved to sketch, a never old drawing that she will stack along with the other sunrise paintings she’s done before. And so she begins mixing all the colours varying from scarlet, fiery red, orange, golden yellow, baby blue, and a subtle white that only the delicate eye can catch.

She can’t tell for how long she sat down in front of her sketch; it could’ve been hours or an eternity, but what’s important is that she managed to lose herself in her art like she always did.

Teddy surprised her from behind making her yelp and clutch her hand at her chest, the young boy fell into a laughter fit as she gently pushed him around for scaring her.

“Can you pretty please help us?” He asked of her after calming down and wiping his tears that resulted from his intense laughter.

“You don’t deserve my help for what you did but maybe you can ask”. She rolled her eyes at him in a dramatic way sending a sly smile that tells him about her payback for his prank soon.

“It’s your vacation, so nothing serious. Take Ray and patrol the field, we’ve been experiencing burglars’ shit from out of town. They’ll just escape if they saw someone out there.” She nodded and packed up her kit, giving it to Teddy who was making funny faces at her.

She saddled up Ray and prepared a basket to pick some fresh onions and potatoes, she had planted them herself the last time she was here, and she believes it is time to see how pretty they have become.

The cowboy hat she ‘stole’ from Maggy is shielding her from the scorching heat that she does not mind. She’s a northern girl after all. On the way she hums a melody her mother used to sing for her back when she was a kid, it soothes her and has become another one of her distraction methods.

Ray appeared to be calm and she began to wonder what idiot Teddy did to let him escape a while ago, but if she thinks about it a bit more, her mind will take her to the man who rescued Ray so she begins humming again.

The field is quiet with no companion but the whistle of the wind, the torment of the sun and the steady soil beneath her. Her task is pretty easy compared to what she has done before so she continues patrolling, occasionally patting Ray’s back who seems to be enjoying their little walk.

She closes her eyes for a moment and allows the northern wind to consume her as she breathes in the scent of home coming from Carolina.

Harry had his head tipped back and eyes set towards the blue sky, it was an attempt at easing his hangover that he now regrets deeply. He is a responsible man, never late for work, and never reckless in matters related to his cowboy life outside of entertainment. He was by no means allowed to taint his family name.

What he did yesterday was nothing but some fun after a working day, his friends had lured him inside that bar when he knew damn well that he should be at home preparing for the day he is about to endure.

He loved a drink or two occasionally, but he loved the crowd and attention even more. Harry Styles is a sucker for the praise and acknowledgment of his neighbours, as well as tourists and strangers that he’ll never see again.

Speaking of strangers, her face has been stuck in his mind ever since he laid his eyes upon her soil covered body after their little incident. She felt like a force, making his way into his daily life, with no intentions but to lay in his daydreams and he’s not so fond of the idea.

Seeing her at the bar may have sobered him a bit, that pout on her lips and the dangerous anger reeking off her gorgeous body. Her boldness and fierceness made him light up on fire, he is yet to know who she is, but he must find out soon.

He sighs and balances his feet against the ground then remembers that his work today is in Maggy’s family field. Yesterday the girl was heading towards their house, it’s a long shot but he pushes it to the front of his mind and begins working.

The Northern sun provides no mercy, it penetrates one’s skin, passing through the blood vessels to sicken and weaken the body. How cursed is the sun but how pretty it shines. The residents of Montana welcomed it like their own, but Harry Styles was a different story. It is not evident whether he challenges the sun or loves it, perhaps both.

His Greek God like physique stood proudly against the temperature, salty sweat trickling down his always half naked body. His blessing of muscled biceps contracting with every push of his shovel or grip to the rope. He walks gracefully with his manly hands placed on his bony hips, examining the towns’ fields, any work done would require the strong clenching of his thick abs that feel like stone when pressed on. If you are lucky you’ll observe his back muscles that call for you to touch on.

The sun does not take it easy on him, in fact it envies him for his good looks but when it paints him with sweat, it helps him appear prettier, more angelic, it aids him to be known as Montana’s best cowboy. After all even the sun isn’t immune to his charm.

He wiped the sweat that was already forming on his forehead and took a large gulp of water that trickled from the corners of his mouth down to his collarbone and toned midsection. He could see a figure from afar on a horse, and he rubbed his eyes to make sure it is not his hangover playing games on him.

It was that mysterious stranger.

She was on the back of a familiar horse, her figure perfectly shaped as she guided the horse around. She wore a plaid blue flannel with a tank top beneath it and skimpy shorts revealing her toned legs that dangled perfectly.

He was not ashamed to look at her, he knows for a fact how she ogled him yesterday and he wishes for it to happen again but for now he enjoys gazing at her intently.

She steps off the horse and takes off her shirt, allowing the pretty combination of her bony collarbone and strong arms to appear, the cowboy hat she has on shields her long shiny hair, and her shorts hold her curves in perfect ways that he might crawl to her for worshipping purposes.

She begins to pick a variety of vegetables as she kneels, and Harry could’ve sworn that the sun was reflecting golden rays on her perfect skin making an angelic light surround her figure. Her position had him in a chokehold, it showed her feminine beauty that he was a sucker for. With a certain bend, he was able to catch her lower back dimples that he would die for.

Harry considers himself to be a sensual person, he loves details about every human’s physique whether it be any form they have, he will delve into its beauty and savour it for his dreams that he visits often.

It didn’t take long for her to notice his presence, she was a clever girl after all, and if not for the familiarity of his face she might’ve mistaken him for an intruder.

It seems that luck is not on her side, as she dreads the sight of a man that appears in every corner she walks in. He was away from her by a good distance yet near enough to see his act.

His smirk was shameless as he lazily walked around preparing his kit for work. He was fixing the fence and she can point out some details that will make any man or woman go crazy.

He has his right leg bent upwards against the base of the fence, his cowboy hat is different and seems brand new, with every bang of his hammer she notes the contraction of his biceps and clenching of abs. His rear form is not something that she expected to stare at, but there she was, eyeing a man that is like a forbidden apple to her pride.

He suddenly takes off his hat and for the first time she notices his chocolate curls now drenched from moist and humidity, he tips his head backwards , allowing his Adam’s apple to show.

He then brings both of his arms together and stretches them above his head, she can spot every outline of his muscles, almost feel their thickness, as the sun hugs his godly physique.

Veins along his neck and forearms become prominent with every flex he makes before picking up his hammer again and effortlessly fix the fence in a short period of time.

She managed to collect the vegetables she wanted but not without a quick subtle glance to him every moment, neither did he avoid gazing at her figure.

He dug an area of the field with his personal shovel, and she kept staring at him for a good amount of time before realising that she can watch him work all day in the field just to see the effect of his hard labour on his athletic body.

Who knew a hammer and a shovel can play with one’s hormones.

A shout nearby and the rush of hooves in the field alarmed both of them, he immediately jogged to check out the source, but she appeared to be rather unbothered, happy even.

She mindlessly ran towards a man on a horse before catching up to him as he quickly stepped off and lifted her up in the air. Harry suddenly stopped in his tracks realising that there is no threat at all, and it is only a relative of hers.

But upon another glance, he squinted his eyes and fixed his hands on his hips with an attempt at recognising the stranger. Memories came back to him abruptly, and the more he stared the more he got closer to revealing the mystery girl.

The man spotted Harry and waved, before shouting for him.

“Oi Styles! Come over here. How’s your old man.” The voice of the man brought him back to years ago as he suddenly realised why the girl’s features are familiar to him.

“A Carolina Princess, well I’ll be damned.” He whispered under his breath with a chuckle and passed his tongue on his teeth before approaching his father’s childhood friend.

Her laughter has exceeded the normal limit of a human being, she was above the clouds and on a different energy level than anyone around her. Her parents were home and that was all she needed.

She was sitting in the passenger seat next to her dad who was driving and telling her all about her home. She doesn’t get to see them that often, she feels a piece of her getting restored as he fills her in on everything she has missed.

In her lap lies a bouquet of Blue Stars flowers picked from her garden back in her hometown. It is her favourite type of flowers, one that she adored ever since she was able to differentiate colours and count numbers.

Harry sits in the backseat of her father’s truck upon a heated insistence. For the first time in over a day, she managed to flee away from the web of tangled thoughts surrounding a green eyed cowboy, it didn’t matter if he was right behind her.

Now the roles were reversed and a web in his mind began to form.

He expected everything of her to be but the daughter of a family friend, her face was so familiar yet so far from his knowledge. Her father hugged him like he was his own, and asked of him to ride with them despite not having his work done.

He couldn’t say no, not when it means he can find out more about her, so he eagerly packed up his kit and situated himself behind her.

The enthusiasm on her face when she received the Blue Stars bouquet was priceless. She matched the energy of a little kid, an adorable innocence but deadly stubbornness.

His family left Montana when he was five, what he remembers is nothing but glimpses that he sometimes stretches in front of him for a hint of his past life that he didn’t savour enough.

He mapped his entire brain, recalled Maggy and her family, dinner nights and bull riding contests, barbeque Sundays and Fairs. But her? He remembered her father, and his friendships with the family, almost an unbreakable bond. But no matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t catch a blue star.

Instead of his keenness on going back, he focuses on the present moment and he’s pretty sure he looks like an idiot or a creep even as his eyes never once leave her figure.

Her head was angled towards her dad who was chatting her all the way, she has a dimple on her right cheek that only appeared if she laughed hard. Her hand cups her mouth whenever her laughter gets too loud, and she doesn’t seem to mind the tears that come with it.

He has never seen someone so infatuated with flowers, her eyes lit up like she was offered the whole world, and she kept asking if the bouquet was from Carolina, smiling even more upon the confirmation.

If for a moment the conversation gets lost, she fixates on the road ahead of her and sways left to right gently with the song on the radio that she has never heard of.

He was praying for her father to not question him so that he can sneakily continue studying her in every way. But after checking on his daughter, Harry assumed that he’d talk to him.

“Son, hope we are not ignoring you there. How’s your pops?” Her father spoke as he looked to Harry through the mirror.

His jaw twitched upon her frown and face drop when the spotlight turned to him, she seems to have remembered his existence and for once in his life Harry wanted to be invisible.

“He’s doing great but he misses your contest nights.” He put on a daring smile and restored his charming demeanour.

“Oh boy he better be ready for me then.” Her dad chuckled and began speaking of old times as Harry hummed back to not appear disrespectful, but in fact his green orbs were set on hers that glared back at him through the car side mirror.

Her father and his greeted each other like little kids, it was evident that their bond was strong, and she was gazing in awe at their relationship. On the road, she wiped Harry’s existence so she can delight in her father’s arrival.

No one was able to notice that something was wrong, but they do know that she and Harry are strangers, so what they thought were doing to introduce them to each other was in reality her worst nightmare.

“Hey son, forget about the fence I have a hay delivery from Mr.Lanny , why don’t you pick it up with the lovely girl?” Harry’s father Luke pointed at her, as her own father Eddie agreed with a shrug.

“Go with him sweetie and have fun, I know you like road trips. Mr.Lanny has cats too. When you come back your mother will be here.” Her father kissed her temple and guided her to the truck.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded before hesitantly getting in the passenger seat. Harry’s cologne filled the truck as he entered, and she hoped this ride won’t cause her a headache. She was not in the mood for his cheekiness and high ego.

“Hold on Blue Star, or the truck will make you fall out the window.” He grinned at her as he turned on the ignition making the engine roar.

“Shove your jokes up your ass.” She gritted through her teeth as she looked forward. ‘Your nicely shaped ass’ she thought. He turned on KISS’s music and drove off in a rush as she tried to ignore the way his hands look on the steering wheel.

It was no wonder that she loved road trips, she felt as if they rejuvenate her soul whether it be with the company of the night breeze or the day’s sun.

But hard was her attempt to hide the discomfort oozing from her body, not when he was sitting next to her. What she didn’t know as well is that the place they’re headed to is 45 minutes away, so that’s a hour and a half in the car with the unfathomable Harry Styles.

“You’re too quiet Carolina.” He rasped making her shiver at his deep voice.

“Carolina?” she inquired, feeling quite irritated at the idea of him knowing things about her as simple as her hometown.

“I reckoned you didn’t like clumsy girl so Carolina it is. “He fiddled with a key chain that dangled smoothly between his fingers, hitting his cross tattoo.

“Do you like the cross tattoo on my hand? Some have considered it a necklace bef-“

“Can you stop being annoying for one second. The world does not revolve around you.” She groaned and closed her eyes before pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Actually when I was born the stars-

“Bloody boots I mean it.” She shouted at him and that only made him smirk more as he lifted his hands up in the air like an innocent man.

He chuckled softly before changing the song to ‘Uptown Girl’ by Billy Joel and pulling the window down fully, he continued to spread his legs with one hand mindlessly placed against the steering wheel while the other one was resting on his cowboy hat.

She tried to have subtle glances on details to enjoy. His hat had a ‘Styles’ embroidered on its front and a cross necklace was dangling against his pumped tatted chest. For once in her life she was attracted physically to someone that made her blood boil.

“What brought you here?” He tried to start a conversation knowing that he can’t fathom her silence, he wanted to see her lips move.

“I have a week off from university and it’s a necessity for me to come.” She answers formally with her gaze set on the road.

“Why not Carolina then?” He drums his fingers on the steering wheel as he watches her intently.

“It’s farther than here so that’s two days less from my vacation, besides Maggy is here and all of my family in Carolina comes down to see me.” She ties her hair feeling irritated from it pricking her eyes and he can’t take his sight off her as she styles it into a ponytail.

He can see how she left her plaid flannel in the field as well as the basket and Ray that Teddy will come after. She is left in a tight tank top that is showing her perfect cleavage.

“And you? I heard that you’re from Tennessee.” She caught him off guard as he wasn’t expecting her to actually make small talk with him and thankfully his eyes had shifted from her gorgeous form.

“True I am. We have family business here; I stalled and had some fun in Tennessee before moving here a while ago.” She was now looking at him and not the road and he felt like he scored a victory.

“What are you studying Blue Star?” He kept inquiring as they both tried to not stare at each other.

“Fine Arts in Washington, I love drawing and painting, and you Montana?” Her energy shifted to match his playfulness and he felt like he was back in the game.

“Well well Carolina, we’re both in the art field. I occasionally teach Music at Montana’s elementary and I sing for fun in some events.” He reached a turn and controlled the steering wheel with the edge of his right palm making her unconsciously clench her thighs, as this exact move is her weak spot.

“Maybe I’ll listen to you sometime if you’re not sitting on my nerves.”

“Ehhh, teasing is like my second job.” He mumbled before sending her a wink and holding eye contact with her.

“I have no idea how everyone loves you in this town.”

“Stare a bit more and you’ll figure it out.” He made a devilish grin as she gazed at his face, specially at his emerald irises that change colour upon the contact with the scarlet sun that’s setting.

Little does he know that she’s been trying to find this exact shade of green ever since she began her degree and now under the Montana sun, the company of Billy Joel and an intriguing man she found her inspiration.

“You need to be humbled Harry.” She laughed letting her arm dangle from the window as the wind allowed her to catch a whiff of his tobacco vanilla cologne, and she tried not to squirm around in the seat.

“Have a shot at it Carolina Princess”. He reached his hand to move some of the fallen hair strands on her face, his hand felt so soft yet so cold from his giant rings.

“Now I better not hear your voice, let me enjoy the road.” She kicked her feet on the dashboard with no care if he minds or not, and placed her hat on her face to shield her from the scorching sun.

“What if you’ll have to shut me up.”

“By all means necessary Montana.”

He groaned lowly trying not to show his visible attraction to her, the sexual tension in the car was thick whether it be her ignoring the wetness pooling in her shorts or him who’s regulating his breath to avoid an embarrassing teenage boner.

Her father Eddie was right, Mr.Lanny does have cats. He greeted her with a handshake, immediately knowing who she was as she’s ‘a copy of her father’. She left Harry to do his business and had some playtime with the cats.

Although the kittens were adorable, she didn’t want to miss the chance of checking out the area, so she placed the little munchkins back in their crib and stepped out to the ranch.

What she saw wasn’t what she was expecting, but it was enough to take the sun’s role making her whole body heat up.

Harry was on the top of a stacked hay pyramid; he was already tall as it is but now he looks like a model agencies would fight for. If that was even possible, it seemed as if his abs became more prominent upon the torture of labour and the northern sun.

She swallowed down her throat and watched as he threw heavy stacks of hay in the back of his truck like they weighed nothing. His entire body flexed together in sync, from the veins in his neck, to the tightening in his thighs and from the contraction of his biceps to his back muscles that can be studied.

He pulled out a cloth from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his face with it. There were two options for her: either stare at him like a weirdo (she wouldn’t mind) or help him so they return home faster. So she fixed her hair into a bun and headed towards the hay pyramid.

The next 24 hours were a blur.

After Harry drove them back to town she immediately left his car without a goodbye as she ran to greet her mother, and stacks upon stacks of hay were waiting for him to be delivered.

He didn’t see her for the rest of the day but that didn’t stop her from visiting his dreams, the only place he can feel the delight of life in and now that she’s a character, he may never leave.

When he woke up in the morning he had prepared himself for an encounter with her, but when he moved around town with work all day and didn’t spot her he felt a certain kind of disappointment that made him anxious.

He even took a different route near Maggy’s field just for the odds of bumping into her and even that didn’t work out.

But would it change things for him if he knew that she was like a buzzing bee all day having not seen him?

It wasn’t until she entered the house that she realised how she abandoned him without a goodbye, she was too excited to see her mother that she disrespected his presence.

He seemed to have improved a little bit personality wise, although being full of himself was his entire job but he had some nice things as well. On the way back he insisted on buying her a sandwich with a soft drink, and he came back with a shirt having ‘Carolina Swag’ printed on it.

‘You can now walk around and let everyone know that you’re a Carolina Princess’. He chuckled as he took a long sip from his own drink.

“Now it’s only fair I get you something but I’m not sure anyone sells a ‘I’m a dick’ shirts”. She laughed at him with her legs dangling from the window.

”Ehhh just get me a ‘ Big dick is back in town’ shirt.”

Maggy’s whole house was buzzing with people; members of the family on both her and Maggy’s side as they prepared a huge lunch. But peeling potatoes or feeding the baby lambs seemed to be hard as her mind refused to let go of him, so much that she imagined her sketchbook whispering for her to draw him, his eyes, his body and everything that she saw.

She knew that Harry wasn’t invited to the lunch, she began having thoughts about going down to the bar in hopes of seeing him, but it seemed silly even for her.

Since when does she hang so much hope for a guy that does nothing but tease her.

Maggy could tell something was off, but she didn’t question anything nor the bar incident two days ago, but she knows her friend and knows Harry as well. She can tell how they fit like a piece of puzzle. It is said that opposites attract but both of them are ever changing like tides and Maggy knows well that each of their alterations are equal to the other.

A bonfire night in the North was a tradition that dates back to her grandfather’s generation, there are some things that have changed including her longing for the Carolina bonfires which she cannot attend now.

If you ask her she’d blush as she knows well that she isn’t invited, but how bad could her presence be?

She doesn’t consider herself to be an intruder, but she is not one to miss fun as well. Maggy has been talking her ear off non stop about it, and she thought why spend the night in when she can crash a party.

Technically she wasn’t being rude or disrespectful. Everyone knew everyone in town, she wonders who the party is for and if he is there. She’s been getting a continuous flow of thoughts about him.

What he does in a day when he isn’t working, how his nights are, the other side of his personality. Would he continue his playfulness with her or shift onto something else. She can feel her regret readying itself to come out if she doesn’t go. Better be safe than sorry.

She acted as if it was her first time going out, taking extra time in front of the mirror, attempting to apply some makeup despite having no expertise in it, and rummaging through everyone’s closets till she decided on a white sundress, slightly above her knees. Maggy let out a sigh and recreated a drama scene having restored her cowboy hat.

“My mom’s will look better since I have matching boots.” She mumbled as Maggy made victory dance moves as a form of an inside joke.

Even the whole family could see her enthusiasm that was a bit out of hand, usually she’d be happy to stay in and be cocooned in the cosiness of the northern home, playing with her cousins and telling stories.

She and Maggy agreed to go on foot, knowing that they may be tipsy on the way back. But they didn’t give it further thought, as the town is safe and secure day and night.

It wasn’t far as they can spot the fire, but to her surprise it was in Harry’s own field. She confidently made her way through the grass with Maggy behind her and she can see how everyone turned their heads upon her far figure that is slowly approaching.

“Good evening ladies and Gentlemen.” She smiled in a nonchalant way noticing Harry’s change of body language when she arrived.

She can spot a few familiar faces that she isn’t too close with but can recognise, a girl was sitting next to Harry and laying her body against him.

“Hello Carolina.” He winked at her and motioned to a seat facing him seeing as the ones next to him were occupied.

“And who exactly are you?” The girl next to him mocked as she became too self-aware of Harry’s plastered grin.

“Do I know you?” She replied with a friendly smile, making the girl frown and turn red.

“You’re seriously asking who Carolina is?” Harry replied to the girl without once looking at her. His gaze was set on the Carolina Princess, and the sight of fire reflecting on her bare legs.

He didn’t want to make a fool out of himself and invite her, what if she didn’t want to come and then he’d be disappointed. He considers his ego to be quite delicate but broad.

Seeing how she is here tells him all he needs to know, even If he met her once he can see how she’d prefer being with her family right now. So why come to a bonfire with no invitation.

She indulged herself in a conversation Maggy was having with an old friend, as Harry continued to entertain the girl sitting next to him who was now brushing herself against him on purpose.

He was not sure of what he was thinking, why did he want to make her jealous when she was right in front of him?

He whispered nothings in the girl’s ear, things he can say out loud, but every once in a while he got the attention he wanted and he smirked knowingly.

Except that his fun didn’t last long as a guy sat next to Carolina and began chatting her, it was now obvious to the companion next to him who stomped her foot and left with a huff.

Harry watched the guy intently, he knew him well and he knows how much of a nice guy he is, he’s just her type and Harry felt his jaw twitch at the thought. The beer bottle in his hand was now empty as he consumed it quickly.

He lazily walked over to her side making both hers and the guy’s head turn upward.

“Hey man can you give us a minute? I want to talk with her” Harry rasped as he looked down at her unbothered figure, allowing his eyes to linger a bit on her collarbone and neck.

“Sure yeah.” The guy got up with a nod and smile making Harry sigh as it was a confirmation that his intentions were friendly.

“Did you actually think I didn’t notice your little glances.” She smirked as Harry situated himself next to her.

“I was hoping you would actually.” He whispered in a deep voice as he got himself dangerously close to her.

“Yeah?” she grinned at him.

“Uh huh.”

The fire was reflecting on both of their faces, and he couldn’t give two fucks if it he was being obvious, he needed to stare. Needed.

The dress hugged her body perfectly and the lily odour was reeking off her heavily that he wanted to bury his face in her neck.

Her neck that is adorned by a flower necklace that he will later on recall how it was a blue star, when he dreams about her.

Her legs stretched in front of her, made him realise that he was about to ask her if she wants to lay them on him. But maybe that was too straightforward even for him.

“I see that your little friend left, I hope I was not a bother.”

“She did? I didn’t notice.” He lied as he looked around pretending to look for the girl.

She rolled her eyes and laughed before bending her forearms backwards against the wooden seat. They both know how dangerously close they are but thankfully everyone seems to be preoccupied.

He is not shirtless, she noticed that. He is wearing a white flannel with a leather jacket adorning his muscles in every right way.

“You don’t have a drink in your hand, why so?” He asked as he pointed for the box of random drinks.

“Not feeling it honestly.” Her position and the way her arms are stretched backwards made her cleavage more prominent and Harry was about to choke on his beer.

“You know, down on the west coast they got a sayin’ , if you’re not drinking then you’re not playing. You should know all about it.” He grinned at her trying to take in all of her expressions.

“Fuck the west coast.” She rolled her eyes in a dramatic way.

“Hmm why so? You’re studying there.” He inquired.

“I just do not belong to that area, i’m a Northern girl.” She shrugged cutting her answer short.

“I reckon that you’re not staying there after the graduation?” He was leading the conversation somewhere unknown, why does he care where she’ll live or what she’ll do?

“Definitely not. The last time I was in Carolina my Nana said that I better swim before I drown” she smiled covering her face from embarrassment.

The fire was crackling and the conversation of other people died around them as they delighted in each other’s company, and tiny secrets. She found out shocking things about Montana’s beloved boy and he the same , where her traits were taken in as perfection.

“She’s right, Carolina is like no other.” Any information he had on Carolina, was being pushed to the front of his brain. Anything to impress Blue Star.

“Yeah? What do you know about it? Actually it’s a bit far from Montana but you remind me of home.” Her smile was genuine and the corners of her mouth were stretching with every word. Her soft hair cascaded on her face and the despite the fire that’s lit next to them, shivers and goosebumps went through their bodies.

“I remind you of home?” He felt his heart flutter at her words even though he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one, but at least it means he’s been on her mind.

“Hmm I feel so far away and I can’t always visit, it’s frustrating. But you’re like that distant memory one goes back to for a hint of Nostalgia, it’s kind of hard to decode.” An expression of interest covered her face, as if she was explaining some sort of mathematical equation to him and not a complicated feeling.

“I do know that, your face feels distant yet familiar too.” He muttered then immediately continued rearing the end of their conversation.

“When my pops used to take me to Carolina, we’d stop by an ice cream shop, his name was Uncle Pe-“

“Uncle Peter?!” She cut him off in excitement and playfully gripped his bicep upon his confirmation.

He has never seen someone get excited this much for an ice cream shop, but again no one ever told him that he reminded them of home or made him feel like wanting to be attached to their hip all day long.

“There’s no way.. I- , that was like my childhood shop. I escaped classes in middle school once to spend an afternoon there and eat the Uncle Peter’s special flavour.” She had her hand on his as she excitedly told him about her childhood. Her laughter was echoing without a care to anyone around them.

“Was it the Vanilla strawberry cheesecake?!” Harry’s eyes gleamed with hope.

“Yes!!” They both held on to each other from the amount of laughing they let out.

“You know you’re such a –“ he stopped mid sentence with his rosy lips parted.

“A what Harry?” She whispered as she shamelessly stared at his mouth.

A true Blue star and I don’t want to sound like a creep but we would’ve met even if both of us didn’t return here at the same time.

“Nothing. Erm would you like a beer?” He cleared his throat and got up to grab a bottle.

“Yeah why not? For the west coast I guess.” She made herself more comfortable and kicked off her boots, trying not to think about what he was about to say.

“Sure for the shitty west coast.”

They stayed up till 1 in the morning, sharing tales on everything and nothing, she told him why the North means a lot to her and why she is studying in Washington, her first pony and that one time she got mad at Maggy and cut her hair.

He listened intently, and If he could write them down he would. He didn’t care if he had work in the morning or if his eyelids were betraying him, he must listen.

He told her about the family business, about Tennessee and his passion for music, how the kids at school love it. But he tried not to share a lot, not because he’s a closed book but to allow her to indulge in the moment.

Gaze at her lips as they move, get a whiff of her lily scent when she gets too close, notice her expressions as she tells different stories and which one means the most. Listen to to her angelic voice and try not to coo when she says his name.

Her soft skin that’s touching his made it hard for him to not imagine her back against his chest at night, touching him however and whenever she pleases, yes he would, he would surrender his body to her.

After all his own body is betraying him with the need for her touch.

“I think I’ll just head home, it’s late.” He noted the soft blush in her cheeks that he wanted to kiss.

“Okay I’ll give you a ride.” He didn’t give her time to object before getting up and fishing his truck’s keys from his pockets.

She followed him after letting her friend know where she’s headed and saw him waiting patiently in the car.

The road home took almost ten minutes, in which he playfully teased her grand entrance to the bonfire.

“It’s not like you minded my presence.” Her feet were yet again kicked up against the dashboard.

“Maybe, maybe not.” He let out a lie that none of them believed.

When they reached the front porch of her house, she straightened her posture and grabbed her purse from the backseat, he had his sight fixed on her as she thanked him and reached for the truck door.

“Hey Carolina?” she looked back at him before he gently reached for her chin, and brought it closer to his face, their breaths were heavy as they both had their eyes fixed on their lips.

His mouth hovered over hers, as his brain was already savouring the small details like the curve of her upper lip and her minted breath.

The front porch suddenly lit up with several lamps making both of them jolt backward in shock and confusion.

“Hey Styles , My boy!” her dad shouted and waved for Harry who was cursing himself for stalling the kiss.

He looked at her shocked figure who smiled almost immediately offering him a toothy grin, as she stepped out of the car sending him a flying kiss.

And for the first time, she winked before him.

——————————————————

Dividers from @firefly-graphics

A/n: Part 2 will be posted this week and it’s very very steamy…🥵🥴 Please send asks or comment to give me your opinion xx

Taglist: @prettythingsworld @slut4marvelmenn @fullofstyles @cherrycokeslay @wandas-lawyer @tbsloneely @theroosterswife24 @missmielyhoran @harryssideboob @harrysficreblog @sagcas-latte @itslottiehere @hsonlyangelxo @gem1712 @adachhi @tpwkkkkk @grapejuicebluesrry @summertime-pills @lhhrryismyhome @marzhshaim @harrystylessslut @keepdrivingkisses @rideeonstyles @swiftmendeshoran @matildasatellite @a-strange-familiar @cherryscinema @greivingfortheliving @babyyangel111 @victoria-styles @skysladylazarus

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spaceshipellie · 10 months

Text

we were never just friends

ellie williams x reader

part four (part one, part two, part three)

summary: modern!ellie, both in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years, their friendship has always been somewhat flirty but nothing has ever happened. not yet anyway…

warnings: angst, fluff, smut, eating out and fingering (r receiving), scissoring, ellie and reader being saps, minors and ageless blogs dni

author’s note: this is the last part 😪 i’ve had so much fun writing this and all of the lovely comments and reblogs have made me giddy tbh i really appreciate them 🩷

word count: 3.6k

“i slept with ellie.”

there was silence after you spoke. you could hear a pin drop. you couldn’t even detect an emotion on kate’s face, she just stared blankly at you.

“kate,” you whispered, trying to jog her to say something.

“i heard you.”

another silent pause.

“i’m really sorry.”

“are you?” she snapped.

“yes! i know this is really fucked up but–“

“but what? please tell me why you thought now was a good time to say something.”

“i tried,” your voice sounded pathetic, knowing she was right but you still attempted to explain yourself.

“i tried to tell you before and i wanted to tell you as soon as i got home but you were at your parents and i didn’t want to call i wanted to tell you in person and…” everything you said came out in one hurried breath.

“…and, i know it’s useless but i am sorry.”

kate looked down at the ground, her jaw clenched and she just slowly nodded, taking in every word.

“do you regret it?”

“i-“ you really thought your voice would follow through with a sentence but it didn’t.

“you know, i think if you were really sorry, and really regretted it, you would have tried harder to fucking tell me, but you didn’t.”

“kate.”

“no, just stop,” she paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts whilst you just stood there, afraid to speak.

“i think you love her.”

you felt like you’d just been shot.

“what?!”

“why do you seem so shocked? you do, don’t you?”

“no, i…” you sighed, defeated, “she’s my best friend.”

“yeah.” kate’s voice was quiet.

˚ · • . ° .

— ellie’s pov —

your flight was leaving soon and you hadn’t said anything to ellie about telling kate. she knew you were going to but the wait was killing her. then again, it wasn’t her relationship so she couldn’t expect you to tell kate. what if you’d changed your mind? what if you wanted to make things work and just forget everything that happened at the weekend? what if you didn’t want to see ellie anymore because it was too awkward?

she was pacing around her bedroom, panicking. she sent you a text to say have a safe flight then immediately muttered “you fucking idiot” to herself and threw her phone at the bed so hard that it bounced off and landed on her guitar amp. the screen cracked and most of it went black. fucking perfect, she thought. just what i need. a stupid broken phone.

her thoughts felt claustrophobic as they shouted at her from every direction. she just wanted to know what you were thinking. how you were feeling. were you feeling as worked up about this as she was? what were you doing right now? why were you still going on this holiday? maybe you didn’t go and any minute now you’d burst through the door.

a little time had passed, about four songs to be exact whilst ellie tried to drown her mind out with angry music. you weren’t bursting through the door and her text only said sent and not delivered. you had to be on that fucking plane. ellie turned the volume up, nearly to the point where her eardrums hurt.

why did you have to make her feel this way? why did you have to be so sweet, and kind, and pretty, and funny, and smart, and loving, and the best person she had ever met. it was actually pissing her off. how fucking dare you be all of those things, then kiss her, fuck her, and leave like it was nothing? it was fucking bullshit.

˚ · • . ° .

— your pov —

you couldn’t get a flight home until two days after you’d made your confession and it was agony. you and kate had broken up that night but had to still share the same hotel room as they were fully booked. however, during the day you did your own thing. which is why you were now sat in some random cafe alone, depressingly sipping on a milkshake.

“boy trouble?” you heard a voice right by you. were they talking to you? you quizzically flicked your eyes from staring down into your drink to look up at this older woman behind the counter. she was giving you a sympathetic smile. did you really look that sad?

“not technically,” you grumbled.

“technically? honey, it’s either a bad situation or it isn’t.” she laughed.

you slurped the end of your drink, the straw making a loud noise.

“i’m having girl trouble.”

the woman hummed in acknowledgment.

“let me get you another one of those, i’ll be right back.”

she made you a new milkshake and placed it in front of you.

“now, what’s troubling ya?”

you didn’t know if you wanted to explain it all to this random stranger, considering it was all quite fresh. but then you thought, hey, you could do with getting it off your chest and you would probably never see this person again so why the hell not. you took in a breath before you spoke.

“i cheated on my girlfriend with my best friend who i think i’m in love with but now i’m on holiday with said girlfriend who is no longer my girlfriend because on our second day here i told her about it and now i’m stuck here until tomorrow waiting to fly home.”

your voice came out very matter of factly and the woman, who was leaning on the counter, blinked a few times, processing.

“gosh,” she said.

“i know,” you sipped your drink.

“darlin’ you’ve got yourself in quite a mess here.”

“you think?” your eyes widened to emphasise the sarcasm.

“so where is the girl-sorry, ex girlfriend?”

“no idea, but we still have to share a hotel room until we leave.”

“oof. where is this best friend?”

“at home in wyoming.”

“when did… it happen? if you don’t mind me asking.”

“at the weekend.”

“damn.”

“i’m fucked, aren’t i.”

the woman took in a breath to gather her thoughts.

“maybe, maybe not. depends on what you want out of this.”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, this friend of yours, you said you think you love her?”

“ye–i mean, i don’t kn–fuck, yes. yes i do.”

“and,” she dragged the word out, “do you think she loves you too?”

you shrugged and slapped your arms down on the counter.

“i don’t know! every time we try and talk about it it’s like we’ve forgotten how to fucking speak! i don’t know what to do!” your voice had gotten louder and more shrill. other people in the cafe could definitely hear you now if they wanted to pay attention. the woman smiled the way a mother would at her teenage daughter going through her first heartbreak.

“honey, i think you need to tell her how you feel.”

you took another sip, pausing.

“but what if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“then at least you’ll know.”

you grumbled, taking another sip.

“have you spoken to her whilst you’ve been out here?” you immediately felt a pang of guilt.

“no.”

the woman patted your hand.

“you can’t run from it forever, honey.”

once again your straw made a gurgling sound as you finished your milkshake.

“it’s on the house.”

“what? no, it’s fine, i can pay.”

“nope. this one’s on me, i insist.”

“are you my fairy godmother or something?” you laughed.

the woman laughed too and jokingly put her hands up in surrender before leaning them back down on the counter.

“just an old gal who wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“thank you, i really appreciate it.”

you smiled at each other before she walked off out the back. you decided to stop being a wimp and messaged ellie.

you

11:36am

hey els, hope you’re ok. i just wanted to tell you that i told kate, we broke up, but i can’t get home until tomorrow night. can we please talk when i get back?

˚ · • . ° .

you found an array of things to fill your day with but everything was coated in a fresh layer of anxiety because ellie had not replied. she might be busy, she might be working, she has a life, you thought. either that or she hates you.

you and kate barely spoke when you went to bed. it was incredibly awkward and you questioned whether or not you should have gotten a second room in a different hotel but for only two nights it still seemed like a stupid expense. you just had to get through this, then you could maybe put this whole thing to rest.

when you woke up the next day, kate was already gone. your flight was at 4pm so you’d see her soon enough to go to the airport. what a shit show, you thought. you rubbed your eyes and grabbed your phone. still no text from ellie. the anxiety in the pit in your stomach hadn’t let up. this was really out of character for her, she’d never gone this long without replying to you. sure, she was pretty useless with her phone in general but never with you.

˚ · • . ° .

“come on, we need to go,” kate huffed, checking her watch as she stood in the doorway of your hotel room.

“yeah yeah, i’m coming.”

the taxi drive was dead silent. the wait at the airport was dead silent, both of you just putting headphones on. you tried to sleep on the four hour flight but it just wasn’t happening. having to sit still was bad enough.

when you landed and were standing outside with your suitcases, you both stopped and looked at each other.

“i’m not gonna pretend like this isn’t really awkward,” kate spoke first.

“yeah,” you lightly kicked the ground, “again, i’m sorry about all this.”

“me too.” more silence.

“well, goodbye,” she said, her voice lifeless and sad.

“bye.” and with that she left. it all felt very weird and you felt sad. more so because you had hurt kate in a way you didn’t intend to, but what was done had been done and you could only really focus now on what lay ahead.

you got back to your apartment just after 9pm and threw your stuff down, not wanting to deal with it. you checked your phone again. still no reply.

“right, i can’t take this,” you muttered to yourself and aimlessly grabbed your phone and jacket before heading over to ellie’s place. on the walk over you tried to prepare what you were going to say.

“ellie, i need to tell you that–no, no…ellie, this whole thing has made me realise i–fuck,” you were getting frustrated. someone walked by and gave you a strange look as you were talking to yourself in public but you didn’t care and gave them a strange look back. you reached her place and tried to call her to tell her you were outside. voicemail. excellent. you buzzed the apartment intercom, over and over and over until you gave up. nothing. she wasn’t home.

“fuck this,” you cursed, wracking your brain for where she could be. it was a saturday night. hazy’s, you thought.

you beelined there and of course, it was busy. you couldn’t see her so you pushed your way to the bar. a familiar guitar riff played in the background. the band you went to see together were playing again. how stupidly poetic.

“nadine!” you called. she span around.

“hey! i thought you were supposed to be in california?”

“i am, i mean i was, look it’s a long story. have you seen ellie?”

“yeah, she’s here somewhere…oh, she’s over there,” nadine pointed.

you thanked her quickly before rushing over. you caught sight of her over someone’s shoulder but when she came into full view you saw a girl talking to her.

you felt sick. it’s too late, you thought. she hated you and she wanted to move on from it. although, she didn’t look the way she usually did when she was flirting with girls in bars, she kind of looked bored, so maybe everything was fine. you told yourself whatever story you wanted to hear and walked up to her.

“ellie.” her head snapped to look at you. her face looked confused but also…hopeful?

“what the fuck, how are you here?”

“who’s this?” the girl chimed in. you stared at her wishing she would fuck off. you knew you were one to talk but the feeling still stood.

you and ellie both said, “i’m her,” and “she’s my,” at the same time before pausing.

“you’re my what?” her eyes fixated on you.

“please can we just talk?”

“sure,” she said, pushing herself off the wall she had been leaning against and walking towards you. the girl rolled her eyes and disappeared.

you started to walk outside, ellie following behind. your palms felt clammy and your stomach felt like it was about to burst as you still had no idea where to start. once outside and out of the way of anyone you stopped and turned to face her.

“ok ok ok,” you chanted to yourself before leading with, “i’ve been trying to come up with the right way to say this but–“

“where’s kate?” she interrupted.

“she went home.” you felt nervous at how she suddenly sounded a bit pissed off.

“why are you back from california?”

“why would i stay there?” you questioned, confused.

“i don’t know, maybe because you were so excited to go on some romantic fucking getaway with your girlfriend where you’ve probably been fucking and–“

“ellie,” you shouted, trying to get her to stop, “i haven’t, i mean we didn’t do anything! i swear.”

“then why did you go?” she yelled.

“i fucking panicked, i–ok i’m not gonna try and excuse it because that was shitty of me but also why have you been ignoring me?”

“i haven’t been ignoring you.”

“you have, ellie, i messaged you ages ago and you never fucking replied!”

“i broke my phone.”

“when?”

“wednesday.”

“ellie, it’s saturday, why didn’t you get it fixed?”

“i don’t know! i haven’t gotten around to it, anyway does that matter?!”

“yes because if you did then you’d know that i told kate, we broke up a couple days ago, i’m never gonna see her again, i’ve had the worst few days of my life thinking you hated me and didn’t wanna talk and i know it’s all my fault and i’m a fucking idiot but–“

she kissed you.

her warm hands grabbed your face and she kissed you, hard.

you broke apart, gasping for air, her hands still on your face and yours holding her bent elbows for stability as you felt like you could honestly collapse in a heap.

“i don’t think i’ve ever fucked up this colossally in my entire life. well, except for that time i crashed my car into a–“

“will you shut up?” she smirked.

“yeah, no, yeah, sorry.” you stuttered and she kissed you again.

your hands tangled themselves in her hair and hers traveled down to your waist, pulling you tight against her.

“take me home?” you mumbled into it. she smiled and grabbed your hand, practically running back to your place, only because it was closer than hers.

her hands were all over you as you fumbled with the keys to get into your apartment. as soon as the door slammed shut she pushed you up against the nearest wall. you moaned as your back hit it.

“you’ve been driving me insane,” ellie mumbled against your lips.

“i couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“oh yeah? tell me what you thought about.” she started kissing your neck, her hand slipping under your top to touch your waist.

“your hands,” your cheeks felt hot. she slipped her other hand down to squeeze your ass and chuckled when it made you lean your hips into her.

“anything else?”

“ellie,” you pleaded, feeling embarrassed.

“i wanna know.”

“ok, i thought about how fucking annoying you are when you-“ you yelped as she grabbed your thighs, picking you up, your legs wrapping tightly around her.

she hastily made her way to the sofa and sat down so that you were now straddling her lap. your hands tugged at her hair as you kissed, making her groan. her hands grabbed your ass, making you grind into her. they then slide up your back, pushing your top up as she mumbled, “take it off.”

you ripped your top off and as you’d been traveling all day you hadn’t bothered with a bra so your tits were already out, pressing against her. her hands never left your body as she moved them to cup your boobs, squeezing and brushing her thumbs over your nipples.

“take your jeans off.”

you smirked and climbed off her lap and stood before her. you slowly started to unzip your jeans and slip your thumbs beneath the waist band, ready to push them down. her eyes were gazing all over your body as she licked her lips. you took your time pushing your jeans and underwear down just to tease her. the second they were off she leaned forward and grabbed you, pulling you back onto her straddling her lap.

“you’re eager,” you teased.

“don’t,” she laughed slightly before kissing you. she knew she was but she didn’t care. her hand glided down your back, going over the curve of your ass before you felt her fingers slightly part your wet folds.

you instinctively pushed your body further into hers and she dipped a finger in, slowly moving it in and out with ease. you moaned against her mouth.

“more.”

“now who’s eager.”

your hands gripped her shoulders harder in warning. she fingered you for a little longer until she suddenly moved her hand away, gave your ass a light tap and said, “sit on my face, baby.”

you both wasted no time getting into position as she lied back on the sofa and you hovered over her face. she wrapped her hands around your thighs and pulled you down, licking a long stripe up your cunt.

“fuck, you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do this.”

her words made you try and squeeze your thighs together but her hands held them tightly in place. her tongue swirled circles on your clit making you breathlessly let out a string of curses.

your knuckles were turning white as you gripped the back of the sofa and you struggled to hold your body upright with how good she was making you feel. so good in fact you didn’t notice that she had moved one of her hands off your thigh until you felt her finger slip into your dripping cunt again. she curled it and worked it inside you alongside the torment of her tongue on your clit.

“oh fuck i’m gonna come.”

she kept her rhythm as your orgasm washed over you. your body went limp above her and she moved her hand up to your waist to support you as you shuffled back down her body. you gave her a tired, sloppy kiss.

“why am i always naked before you?”

“it’s hot,” she laughed.

she then sat up, pushing you up to be in her lap again before saying you should move to your bedroom. you giddily nodded and she pinched your ass as she followed you. she was walking so close her front was practically against your back anyway.

as soon as the bed was in sight she spun you around and kissed you before pushing you back onto it. you giggled as you leant on your forearms looking up at her as she started taking her clothes off. once naked, she leaned over you, lips back on yours, helping you shuffle up the bed. your hands were raking down her back emitting a moan from her. she was then pushing your legs apart and positioning herself so that your cunts were pressed together. you both let out a loud moan as she started rocking her hips.

“fuck, baby,” she groaned.

“feels so good, el.”

her fingertips were digging into your skin, supporting herself as she fucked herself into you. the sounds that filled the room were animalistic and filthy.

“i’m gonna come,” her voice cracked. the sight of her struggling to keep her eyes open above you was enough to send you into your next orgasm.

“m-me too.”

she collapsed on top of you, her face buried in your neck and you trailed your fingertips up and down her back, both of you panting. after you both took a moment to catch your breath she lifted her head to look at you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful,” she said, brushing a piece of hair away from your face.

“so are you,” you smiled, which made her blush.

“stop,” she laughed.

“you always get so weird when i compliment you but sorry baby, you really are.”

she closed her eyes for a second and subtly nodded, accepting it. you took her hand and started absentmindedly playing with her rings. you both looked at each other for a moment, taking in the fact that you were here again, in each other’s arms, but this time it was different. you didn’t have to worry about anything. you could just enjoy it.

“ellie,” you started, suddenly feeling that anxious pit in your stomach again.

“yeah?”

“i think…i think i love you.”

there. you’d said it. you had stopped being afraid and you’d told her.

“actually i think i always have.” your voice was soft and her eyes melted. she placed a light, loving kiss on your lips.

“i think i’ve always loved you too.”

you both laughed but this time you didn’t have to shush yourselves. she suddenly started attacking you with kisses all over your face and neck and you laughed louder.

“can’t believe we wasted all that fucking time,” you joked. she smiled.

“i guess we better make up for it.”

˚ · • . ° .

tag list: @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @robinismywifee @gold-dustwomxn @rolly-pollie @sapphicproblem @harrysslutsstuff @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @ellitelesbo @emothurman a couple other people asked me to tag them but it won’t let me and i’m not sure why so sorry about that!

#spaceshipellie fics #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie x reader #ellie smut #ellie tlou #ellie imagine #the last of us #ellie fluff #ellie angst #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams fic #lesbian #best friends to lovers

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lionlena · 2 months

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I can't be everywhere (No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader) ANGST! Part 2

Summary: You knew Joel was a busy man, but you never thought that when you needed him most you would hear, "I can't be everywhere." As if your pain meant nothing. So you decided that you couldn't be everywhere either… You couldn't be in his heart anymore.

Warnings: ANGST, miscarriage, misunderstanding, loss, mourning, broken heart, age gap (17 years), Joel is 45, depression, Joel tries hard, but… He can't show his true emotions…

Part 2

Joel had no self-confidence. He knew it. He might have played the tough guy, but he knew the truth. He was afraid of relationships. Sarah's mother left such a huge hole in his heart that for a long time, he was unable to establish normal relationships with women. At first, he thought it was better this way. He focused on raising his daughter.

Joel was selfish. He hid it behind the statement that he had to care for his daughter and help his brother. But he knew the truth. He did what was comfortable for him and didn't think about the feelings of the other women. He started dating women when Sarah was older and needed less attention. He selfishly used women to satisfy his needs. Most often they were short-lived affairs for him. Sometimes just for one night. He didn't give any woman false hopes for something more serious, so he had no remorse.

He stayed longer with a woman named Tess. But only because he was comfortable with her. Tess was younger than him, but not as significantly as you. She was in a similar situation to Joel. She was a divorcee, raised a teenage son on her own, had her own business, and worked hard. And this arrangement seemed perfect to him. He saw Tess whenever he needed to. Sometimes he stayed overnight with her, and sometimes she stayed with him. They were together, although neither of them planned to make it official. And then suddenly it fell apart… And two months later he met you.

At first, he tried to stay away from you. However, he couldn't help but glance at you. There was something attractive about you. He saw how you treated other people with kindness. He noticed that despite your young age, you were very responsible and weren't the party type. And he loved your laugh. God, how he loved your laugh. He could be busy drilling holes and he would still recognize your laughter. Even Tommy noticed that his brother had a crush on you and casually told Joel one day.

"Her name is Y/N and if I understand correctly, she is single."

Joel looked at him in surprise and grunted, "So what? I don't care."

"Yeah, sure… I'm just saying."

Two weeks later, he saved you when you locked yourself in the bathroom and he was able to say your name out loud for the first time. And when he looked into your beautiful eyes that looked at him with gratitude, he felt like a knight who saved the princess and then it happened… Joel Miller fell in love… And he really wanted to be with you. Being with you was like a breath of fresh air to him. He felt younger around you, and at the same time, he didn't feel any pressure from you to be someone else. He saw that you fully accepted him and he was happy. So much so that he wanted to have you even closer to him. He wanted to see you every morning and evening.

And you were so sweet to him. Before he knew it, he was already used to home-cooked meals, your massages, and shared showers. And he was selfish again. He didn't notice that he was taking away your youth, that he was turning you into a housewife. He told himself that's what you wanted. He stopped thanking you for dinners and all the other little things you did for him. He thought it was a part of you.

Everything was going perfectly. Everything was set and stable and Joel wanted nothing more and that was the problem. Joel didn't want to change ANYTHING. So the news of your pregnancy turned his sense of stability upside down. After all, he was a responsible man, so he wasn't going to abandon you. But he couldn't drive away the shadows that appeared around him. Even though he didn't show it to you, he was panicking. And for many reasons. He knew that the baby would change everything, that HE would have to change. But he didn't know if he would be able to. He was also worried that having a child would be too much for you, even though he saw that you weren't like Sarah's mother. He was worried about money, about your health, about… So many things that he just couldn't feel joy.

He knew that avoiding you was stupid and that it wouldn't change anything. He had to come to terms with the idea of becoming a dad for the second time. He didn't want to let you down, and yet he didn't know how to change.

The day you called him to tell him your belly hurt, he felt a twinge of fear. When you finished talking, he felt guilty. What if his dislike for this child and lack of joy caused a curse? He even stopped the car on the side of the road and considered turning around, but… Joel Miller was a coward and decided to distort reality. He figured that if he didn't turn back, nothing bad would happen. And then everything got even worse. He was distracted and left his phone in the car. When Tommy asked him for car keys because he wanted to go pick up some building supplies, Joel didn't think twice. Only later did he realize his stupidity. You might want to contact him. When Tommy finally returned, Joel immediately checked his phone. Three missed calls from you and one text message… The content of the message was etched in his chest. He had to lean on the car to keep from falling over.

His brother's voice seemed muffled.

"Jo… Bro, what happened?"

When he could finally take a deeper breath, he croaked.

"Y/N is in the hospital… I think it's about the baby…"

Tommy sighed heavily, not sure how to react. He saw how reluctant Joel was to the idea of having another child, but he hoped that his brother would come to his senses and change his mind, but it was too late.

"You should go to her."

"She definitely hates me."

Tommy snorted and grabbed his brother's arm.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're the older one. Even if she hates you now, your ass should be in the hospital… It was your baby too!"

Joel took a step back and felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

"I know…"

His brother softened a bit.

"Shall I take you to her?"

He shook his head and gripped his keys tighter, then got into the car. All the way to the hospital he kept telling himself that he had to be strong. He wanted to be your support, but… The moment he saw you in the hospital bed… So vulnerable, dressed in a terrible salmon hospital gown, his heart sank. You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve all this suffering and an asshole boyfriend like him. He felt like he let you down. Instead of focusing on your suffering, he fell into self-blame.

So when you woke up, he didn't know what to do. He thought that just hugging you would be enough. He hoped this gesture would let you know how sorry he was. But Joel was a fool.

And when you asked, "Why weren't you with me?" he felt as if all his worst fears had come true.

You hated him. It was obvious. He left you when you needed him the most. He felt like he was going to fall apart and start crying like a baby. So he did what he always did when he felt like this, he put on a tough guy pose and answered back with the sentence that hurt you so much.

"I can't be everywhere."

And, the moment those words left his mouth, he realized how he had screwed up. How could he be such an asshole to blame you? But he couldn't take it back. When you said you wanted to sleep, he thought it was the perfect excuse to retreat and run away.

Joel Miller was selfish again. He wanted to protect his heart and his feelings without understanding how much he hurt you. But when he returned home, he felt empty… He walked into the bedroom on heavy legs, and when he saw a blood stain on the sheet, he fell apart. He fell to the floor and started crying like a baby.

How could he do this to you? He didn't deserve you, your kindness and love, but he couldn't let go of you. When he calmed down, he decided to clean up and then he had a brilliant idea. He decided that the best way to survive this crisis was to downplay the significance of the tragedy. Yes. He decided that he needed to help you get back to normal life as soon as possible. There was no point in despairing any longer.

A tragedy had befallen you, but he couldn't change anything.

The problem was that his plan didn't work. For the next few days, he was only met with your indifference. No matter how nice he was, you didn't respond in any way. His idealized relationship disappeared like a mirage. There were no more warm dinners, sweet kisses, and joyful smiles.

When he saw you lying on the couch, eyes glued to the TV, he felt guilt consume him. He even started to want you to react in any way. He would even prefer you to scream at him, throw plates at him, cry, but… You were just like a ghost. A ghost that haunted him and reminded him of how he had screwed up.

When he came home and didn't see you on the couch, he was naively happy at first. He thought you were finally feeling better. Maybe you were reading a book in the bedroom and waiting for him… Or taking a shower… Then it slowly dawned on him that something was wrong. It was too empty and too quiet.

"Y/N!"

Joel looked into the bedroom, the bathroom, and even to Sarah's room.

"Y/N, baby, where are you?!"

He finally walked into the kitchen and found a note from you. He read it once… Second, third… Tenth time… And he didn't understand anything. He felt like you had ripped his heart out. First, he felt anger and even thoughts appeared in his mind: Well, let her go… But it quickly disappeared…

He started to panic because he suddenly realized how much he loved you. He took out his phone and tried to call you, but you didn't answer. He tried again and again… Finally, with trembling hands, he texted you:

'Babe… I know I deserve it and that you're hurt, but please, at least write that you're okay. I want you to be safe… I love you.'

He didn't even care that his message sounded desperate. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't ashamed to admit his feelings. He took a bottle of beer and sat on the couch with a piece of paper in his hand. He focused on the words: … for a while. He clung to these few words so tightly that he didn't want to pay attention to the rest. He wanted to cling to the hope that it wasn't too late… He wanted to believe that you would come back to him, after some time… * It was a long drive from Austin to Florida, so halfway you decided to stop and sleep at a motel. You even started to regret not taking the plane, but you were so desperate that you couldn't think straight. When you threw yourself on the crappy bed with a groan, you decided to check your phone. Throughout the trip, you consistently ignored checking to see if Joel had called you. When you saw a few calls from him and a text message, it made you feel better on one hand. At least he was thinking about you. When you read his message, you were shocked. It didn't sound like, Joel… Did he realize his mistake? But on the other hand, it also sounded a bit infantile, as if you had argued over something trivial, and not lost a child. But you knew it would be unrealistic to expect a long essay from someone like Joel. He just wasn't that type. You sighed and rolled onto your back, your phone raised above your head. Part of you wanted to be mean and not text him back. You wanted to leave him in suspense, but… It just wasn't fair. You believed his concern for you in that moment was genuine. So you bit your lip and replied:

'I'm okay.'

Almost immediately, your phone started ringing. You rejected Joel's call and in half a minute there was another message.

'Where are you? Can we talk?'

You snorted and were about to use obscene words, but you stayed calm.

'On the way to Florida. I don't want to talk.' * Joel's heart trembled when he read your message. Florida?! It almost sounded like the North Pole. He was counting on you being somewhere closer, that he could just get in the car and drive to you. His hands began to shake as he wrote another message. Although he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

'For how long?'

When he got your answer, he felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water on him.

'I don't know, for a month, for two… forever.'

He felt like screaming. He was angry with you. Yes, he knew he was the one who screwed up, but if you had at least let him talk to you. He decided to approach you from a slightly different angle and let some of his anger flow out of him.

'What about your job, what about our lives, what about your things… Everything?' * You groaned in annoyance when you saw his message. This is cold old Joel who calculates everything. As if emotions played no role. You waited a few minutes and sent him another message.

'I can do my job remotely, and if not, I will find a new one. Apparently, only I cared about our life together. And my things… You can pack them up and throw them in the basement!'

Then you put your head under the pillow and turned off your phone. You had enough. * Joel sighed deeply as he read your message and realized that he had screwed up again. He just didn't know what he was doing wrong… How could he fix it? He went to the bedroom and grabbed your sweatshirt from the locker. Then he lay down on the bed and pressed his nose into the soft material. He certainly wasn't going to throw your stuff into the basement. Your things were the last thing that gave him hope that he wasn't completely alone because of him acting like a dick. * When you reached your friend, Maddie, you felt a sense of relief… Momentary peace. For a moment, it seemed as if all the bad things were behind you. All the pain, suffering, and loss no longer affected you, but that was just an illusion. When Maddie hugged you and told you she was sorry for your loss, you broke down and started crying. No matter how much you tried to downplay your loss, it hurt just as much as it did in the hospital when Joel left you.

Once you calmed yourself, you two sat down together on the floor in her living room and opened a bottle of wine. You started talking. You could finally let it all out. At one point Maddie said:

"God… What a terrible guy! That's what it's like with these older guys. They expect…"

"Do not say that!"

Your outburst of anger surprised both you and her.

"What?"

You took a long sip of wine and tried to hold back the tears.

"Joel is not a monster… Yes, he let me down and… Maybe our relationship isn't perfect, but… Our relationship wasn't just a failure. When he held me in his arms when we cuddled on the couch… Life with him was pleasant and his age didn't change that…"

You couldn't stop crying anymore and the first tears rolled down your cheeks. Maddie frowned and muttered.

"You… Do you still love him?"

You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. It was obvious. You couldn't just kill this love.

"Yes," you whispered.

"And yet you left him."

You opened your eyes and your friend saw deep pain.

"It's just… Sometimes you can't be everywhere." *

Tag list: @fahemzzz @picketniffler @elliaze @txtattoostark @this--is--music @anavatazes @simplyreading96 @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @southernbe @sarahhxx03 @noisynightmarepoetry @jasminedragoon @pedromousposts @joeldjarin

Permanentny tag list: @harriedandharassed

Part 1

Part 3

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #angst #its so sad #tlou fic

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elliespuns · 3 months

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The prologue scene is so important. There's so much hidden emotion behind Joel singing to Ellie.

What's so unbearable about this scene is that Ellie already knows Joel is lying to her, and Joel, as guilty as he is, suspects she knows but still tries his best not to admit it to himself. That's why the conversation between them is so awkward, even though we aren't given any reason for it to be in that moment. We'd expect that something must have happened between them in the meantime to make them so distant, but nothing really happened—that's the thing—nothing happened.

Ellie wasn't sure whether Joel was telling her the truth or not back when he told her about the fireflies after he saved her, because even though something in her was telling her that he was lying to her, she WANTED so badly to believe he wouldn't. But I think that time spent with Joel from this point on made her realize.

Joel is not the type of guy to show emotions, to soften, or to try so hard. Yet, it's all he's been doing ever since they ended up in Jackson. All this constant trying to chitchat with her, tell jokes she likes, learn about her favorite things, sing to her (to somehow make amends to her), she knows what all this is about. She's not stupid. She can feel it, and she can see it in his face. It's not like Joel is good at hiding his guilt anyway.

This is perfectly portrayed in the scene where he comes into her room and sings to her. You can see how much he's nervous. Why is he nervous? To sing? No. He's nervous because he's about to sing to someone who might already feel disappointed in him. He's not self-conscious. He's not feeling himself because he's scared of what her reaction is going to be. It would break him if there was another thing she didn't like about him. And it's stupid to think so, because why would Ellie judge his singing? She wouldn't, and he knows it. Yet he can't help it because he's so buried in his guilt that he's losing his mind. You can see it in his face as he stops singing. He's ashamed to look at her; he needs her to say something. Something nice. He's avoiding eye contact.

Ellie, on the other hand, feels everything in that moment too deeply. The way he strums the guitar so delicately, the way his husky voice sings so softly, and how honest he is with the words he's too afraid to say out loud in a casual conversation. She can see he's trying. That's why she lets him do his thing, even though a part of her just wants him to leave. She knows he's lying to her. But she doesn't want to believe it. So when he starts, it changes everything for her.

You can see in the way Ellie carefully listens to every word that's meant just for her that she's falling for his love, letting the possibility of him not actually being the bad guy pierce through her being. He clearly loves her, so why dwell on it? She's letting his love in, forgiving him in a way.

That's why she's so sad when he leaves the room. If he's lying to her, why isn't she worth the truth? On the other hand, what if he's not lying to her? She's unreasonably pushing this mellow man, who means well, away. It makes her feel bad. She needs to give him a chance.

That's why later, when she's 16, we see her enjoying her birthday with Joel, laughing and bickering. It's because she let herself let go. She let the heavy feeling in her chest of him lying to her die that day and let his love in instead.

And then, a year later, she finds the letter, and all those feelings and doubts are back. It makes her go back to the hospital, and she finds out the truth. It is so sad to realize that maybe if she hadn't found the letter, she would have never gone back to the hospital and would have never found out the truth that cost her 2 long years of a beautiful fatherly friendship with the only person who had ever loved her so deeply.

#i got carried away with this #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #ellie tlou #joel miller #joel tlou #ellie and joel #joellie #the last of us game #tlou game #the last of us part 2 #tlou part 2 #the last of us talk #elliespuns analyses

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lilacjk · 5 months

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𝗡𝗘𝗖𝗞 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗦

Pairing: Jungkook x reader

genre: yandere, best friend to lover, jungkook is a hotty, angst

warning: oc is sad and lonely

Summary : He loves bieng my friend, but he has girlfriend who he loves ....could this possibly change him from your close friend to a distant person.. And will that be able to change his habit of kissing your neck to seek comfort

A/n : I am just too nervous for part too... I changed oc from y/n to nari.But I hope you all like it please share your reviews on it

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It's been two weeks, he is still being cold. Now not even bothering to replying to her messages, not even her calls . She called him three times yesterday, two times today. And what did he do? Just shooed her away sending a quick " Busy rn call you later " but never calls

Nari scoffed felling tears dwelly up. Just sitting there on her bed for past 5 hour seeing her twelve years of friendship dying. And could do nothing. She wanted to meet him ask and ask why is he doing this to her, shout at him, nuzzle her face in his neck and cry until he gives the answer but she could not do it she felt defeated.

She messaged him that she wanted to hang out 'he said he is busy' . She asked him if she can come over and have some time together 'he said please not now' . He is just avoiding nari, it's more than evident.

Yuna , a good and close friend ( not more close than jungkook) who met nari met through jungkook himself. Even said that why were you running after someone who is not even willing to make things clear or even pushing you alway. Why can't you let things be.

She can not, she did'nt knew how to. From when she was nine and he was eleven , she have been with jungkook, they both have done everything together. She perfectly knew how to live with jungkook by her side but without him. She felt lost .

Every day seemed like months, she cried cried. Two weeks turned into three and still no word from him. He knew she that how shattered and broken this all was making her but he was keeping his quite.

---------------__-----------__-----------

I knew there was a part of me that was selfish. I was being petty by hating and blaming Aeri. But would it be understood if I said that i loved him since the first day we met he was different from others. Always caring genuine, kind , good looking and most of all my best friend. I never wanted him to know this because I never wanted to lose him I was happy having him by my side as a friend.. Even if I knew he would leave me one day Or another.

I'm starting to wonder if this is really what being in love is. Being okay with ripping yourself to shreds, so the other person can stay whole.

I was always afraid the poison love would make me a monster, but what if trying to get rid of it makes me more of a monster than I was before., monster for loving my own best friend

But how could I stop falling for him. He was the only person who ever made me feel like I was the one worth protecting.

__________________________________

I have decided enough is enough , I will go to his place. This all is making me crazy. But this time I will go without telling him. So he won't have a reason to deny.

So here I am in front of his door ready . Ringing the bell sand waiting for him to open .

"Nari " he says with shocked expression, of course he did not expected me to be here. "Kook, hey" you say seeing him getting confused " Hi , why are you here".

You scoff "Of course I m here to talk but could you let me in ". He moves aside and you enter his visibily tidy and spacious apartment. That's one thing about jungkook you love the most that he loves to be clean arranged and tidy.

"You are avoiding me " You say with visibly tensed expressions."No I am not". " Yes you are, u are not replying to my messages , not picking my calls, and not even hanging out with me". You saying trying hard not to cry. "I not avoiding or ignoring you, it's just this month have been a busy one" He say nonchalantly.

"It's not the first time you were busy kook, there have been times when you were but you never ignored me then, and its much more than evident that there is something bothering you" Now you were crying. You don't know how to stop the tears , you feeling you are not able to breath, the pain in your heart and mind is now getting to much.

"No it's nothing nari , you are just making it a big issue".

"Is it something I did, or something I said " You say not being able to stop the tears "not everything in my life is about you nari". He knows his word are doing nothing but making you hurt more. His heart clenches seeing you cry, if the circumstances where different he would have kissed your tears away. But not know, no matter how much it hurts him seeing you so broken that to because of him , he can not hold you.

"I am just busy nari, we are not kids anymore, we have a lot of responsibilities now, I have more people in my life not just you, I can not be with you everytime or talk to you everytime. You are being a problem now ".

"Oh so I am a problem, and you want to get rid of me don't you ". Crack evident in your voice, you were now breathing heavily.

"Nari you making it a big deal, I didn't meant that "

"You know na kook, how much I hate fighting with you, you know how much this all is hurting me and still you are fooling me with your words .why? Why kook?. "

"Nari I think you should go it's getting dark . I need to go somewhere "

You knew there was no use of stretching this conversation now. He has just cut you off his life. You mind was clouded with all the emotions you were felling. You were shaking, it was getting hard every second to breath.

Jungkook noticed your state and held your hand. "Nari, you are shaking, talk to me ,you are fine ? ". You were just standing not able to speak. You yanked his hand away and started moving towards the main door

You held the door knob .and looked over your shoulder to see him him still standing there with some unrecognizable emotions in his eyes. “You're still wearing your bracelet ,It reminds me of a relationship that I don't want to lose. Kook" You said, more like pleaded. It was the bracelet you gifted him when you were eleven and you both promised to each other you will not leave each no matter what. He never removed that bracelet. And you wish he never do in future too.

Jungkook pov :

I felt as if someone is snatching my life from me. I wanted to hold her in my arms , tell her all the truth, calm her.

" Nari " She turned.

I moved towards her, and I don't what took over me and I wrapped my hands around her waist and my lips were met with the soft skin of her neck. This was not knew to us but kissing her neck knowing this would be the last time. I wanted to just do it forever. But this time she didn't moved her head back to give me more space instead she moved away from me. Hurt was in her eyes and I realized how much I fucked up.

Shooing her away one second and kissing her neck the other second. Kissing her neck was something i always did to show her affection and also to calm myself but doing it right now was not a great move it must have felt as if I was using her to calm my nerves as I always did.

She left as soon as she could, without even sparing me a last glance. Why would she, when I was the only one who was being an asshole and wanted her to leave ..

She is worth nothing less than stardust, but all I can give her is dirt..

( Part three - coming soon...)

Tagelist -:

@heyitsmehaneul ,@xonga

@theblueslytherin , @drqvn

@jjeonjjk7 , @hskahvd5 , @chaconnelatte , @talyaaas-blog

@ane102 , @hobabobas @kochycooky

Sorry if I missed someone out.. Tell me if so

#jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts ffs #bts #jungkook x you #jungkook smut #jeon jungguk #jeon jungkook #jungkook fwb #yandere jungkook #jungkook fanart #jungkook au #jungkook x reader smut

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metacrisisdoctor · 10 months

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i think sometimes people have a hard time seeing jackie as an individual person and this leads to them sort of seeing her as a villian in rose's story.

in my opinion it's pretty important that as much as jackie is sometimes wrong about things, she is also right about a lot of things as well.

i do feel like jackie was unintentionally holding rose back out of fear of losing her, hence her "airs and graces" comment etc- but rarely do people think of why jackie feels like this.

think of jackie tyler. in doomsday she is forty. this means when we meet her and rose she is 39, meaning she had rose at age 20, meaning she was pregnant at age 19- the same age rose is when we meet her.

19 is young.

think of jackie tyler, age 21, widowed with an infant daughter, on an estate and looked down upon. in army of ghosts we see that jackie's father passed away years ago, and we never see her mother either.

this is partly why the fandoms universal eyeroll at love and monsters frustrates me. that episode fleshes jackie out and shows us how deeply alone she is, but how loyal she is to rose despite the fact that the only family she has sees her as second best. the tentoo and jackie big finish audios also bring attention to this. jackie is not afraid of rose advancing in life, she is afraid of being left behind. because she has no one.

it pains me that the bf audios with her and tentoo aren't more widely known because they explore jackie and her relationship with both the doctor and rose a lot. we see how much jackie loves, and has always loved, the doctor. how she too missed him after doomsday. how she wants to be close to him again but she's afraid of what him being back in rose's life means as well, because now that the doctor is in their world, what is stopping them from leaving again? and i think it's important that jackie feels that way because it shows that her love for rose isn't just because she was lonely, despite it having had played a large part.

she genuinely loves them both and does not want to be without them, so much so that she says if/when the tardis grows the doctor has to take them all- because he has a family now. this mirrors the doctor telling donna that rose had a family and that they had become his family as well in the runaway bride.

in this sense, we should know that the doctor and jackie are on the same page. we know how much he missed rose and how that extends to the sense of family he found in the christmas invasion. however, jackie's own poor self image leads to her projecting her own fear of being left behind onto tentoo and to his relationship with rose and it causes friction in their relationship until they can both be honest with each other in the climax of the audios when they're about to die together and realize they want to live, which is why rose trapped them into talking in the first place.

jackie struggles because rose was so young when she met the doctor, and she was RIGHTFULLY wary of their relationship considering the last time rose trusted a man he left her behind and took all her money. in the audios we hear jackie say that she was the one who payed off all of rose's debts which is a stark contrast to the idea some people seem to have that jackie didn't have a job and mooches off of rose entirely- which makes no sense anyway because how does she keep the lights on at home when rose is missing for an entire year? it's much more plausible that she and rose both have jobs, and that she was going to look for a second job.

jackie gets everything she wanted in a sense. her husband back, a son, rose is still with her, but her own low sense of self is something that is hard for her to shake off because she has been looked down upon for so long because of who she is and how she was raised, so much so that the thought that rose looks down on her terrifies her. in the end of time flashback we sees jackie say that at that point in her life she isn't gonna do much better; but rose tells her she doesn't know that which speaks volumes. rose is afraid of falling victim to the helplessness jackie has in the last twenty years, but we also see that deep down jackie also wants more to her life as well, she just thinks it's too late.

jackie is proud of rose, she grows to love the doctor, but her fear of rose losing herself entirely is a valid one. just like rose wanting more out of life is valid as well. they're both right and they're both wrong which is why they bicker but also very very clearly absolutely love each other more than anything.

this is why the ending rose gets is perfect for everyone. rose gets to keep defending the earth at unit with the doctor, a life that she always wanted. the doctor gets to, in one life, have a family and be human and jackie gets to find her sense of self again and find "more" in her life, and doesn't lose what makes her who she is at all because people like jackie - working class people - are the ones who make it possible for "bigger" things to happen which is what the purpose of the back and forth between rose and jackie is. rose wanting more from her life is valid, but it's also important to rememeber not to look down on people who you subconsciously see as "less" because "less" is just as valuable.

of course rose leaving helped jackie grow, but sometimes the way people talk about jackie is unintentionally classist while also defending rose from classism.

#rambles #jackie tyler #rose tyler #tenth doctor #tentoo #metacrisis doctor #doctor who #dw #big finish

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book-place · 1 year

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Anti-Hero

Warnings: tua season 1 spoilers, mentions of killing and death, cursing, mentions of drugs, mentions of heart attacks, drinking, let me know if I missed any :)

Pairings: Hargreeves siblings x sister reader

*not my gif*

Summary: When you left, all of your siblings hated you, and now you were facing them once more

A/N: Welcome to book place’s one year event!!

Inspired by: Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift

Please don’t plagiarize my work, you may reblog if you like but I’m asking that you don’t steal my hard work

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

You let loose a long breath and glanced hesitantly up to the tall, menacing building before you. The building of your childhood, if you could even call it that.

To be completely honest, you didn’t even know why you had come back. You hated your father and your siblings hated you, so why would you show up to the man’s funeral, when they would all be there?

As much as you wanted to turn back around and hail another cab to get you as far away from this place as possible, you put on a brave face and pushed the door open, stepping into the vast entryway.

Barely three small steps had been taken inside by you when you froze at the sound of your name being called.

“Y/n,” Allison had her lips parted slightly in shock from where she and Vanya stood at the end of the hall.

You swallowed thickly, “Hey, guys,” You greeted in a voice that was barely even audible to yourself. You toyed with the ends of your gloves nervously.

“Oh, um,” Allison cleared her throat and strode across the room to see you, stopping a healthy three feet away, “It’s so good to see you, Y/n.”

The words were forced, and you knew it, but you gave her a tight lipped smile and a nod anyway.

“Yeah, same here, Y/n!” Vanya called, and you knew in that moment that after everything, she must have been almost as uncomfortable with being here as you were.

If your original gut instinct wasn’t any indication before, then this interaction told you everything about how this visit would go.

The sight of Diego crossing to the staircase caught all of your attention and he snapped something about Vanya not being welcome back before his eyes snapped over to you.

“Y/n,” He spoke in an awkward greeting before skirting past the three of you and clambering up the stairs.

Not only did your siblings hate you, but you just got confirmation that they were also still scared of you. After all these years, when they had grown up beside you and learned how to deal with your ‘gift’, and yet, they were still wary of what you could and possibly would do.

Midnights become my afternoons

You sat on the windowsill in the attic, legs dangling out the window as you looked up at the moon and stars.

“I figured that I would find you up here, Miss. Y/n.” You heard a voice sound behind you.

Unconsciously, you smiled and turned around, “Pogo,” You greeted kindly.

His smile was something that hadn’t changed a bit over the years, “It is so good to see you.” He said genuinely, walking over until he could grasp your gloved hand and squeeze it gently.

He had always been the only one who wasn’t afraid of you. Of what touching you could do to them. Of how painful their deaths would be if they laid a single finger on your bare skin. How without meaning to, you would slowly and excruciatingly kill them.

That’s why you wore gloves and long sleeves at all times, so that no one would unintentionally be hurt by you.

“It’s late,” You hummed when you pulled away, “What are you doing up?”

“Why, I came up here to ask you the same question.” He mused.

You shrugged nonchalantly, leaning your back against the wall, “I don’t usually go to sleep until really early in the morning.” You informed him.

“Well, that can’t be healthy.”

You laughed loudly, the first time you’d done so in what felt like many months, “It’s probably not.” You agreed once you sobered up.

Too busy looking back out the window, you failed to notice Pogo glance behind him and give a hidden figure a single nod of reassurance.

The only thing that brought your attention back to him was once he gave you a slight pat on your clothed knee, “I am always available if you wish to speak about anything.”

You smiled genuinely, “Thank you, Pogo.”

“Hey, n/n.”

Your head snapped up at the sound of a new voice that spoke as soon as Pogo had left.

“Diego,” You breathed out.

“Listen,” He cleared his throat awkwardly as he shuffled into view, coming to a stop right in front of you- less than a healthy distance away, “I’m sorry about earlier. I just didn’t think you were actually gonna show.”

You smiled tightly, pulling your knees up to your chest, “Yeah, that makes two of us.”

He sighed, dropping down into a crouch before you and looking up into your eyes, “I know none of us left off on a good foot- especially with you- but I want you to know that I’m sorry. For everything.”

Your chest tightened at his words. After all these years of thinking every last one of your siblings despised you for who you were- what you could do- you never thought one of your brothers would be telling you that he didn’t actually hate you at all.

“T-thank you, Diego.” You choked out, eyes filling with tears, “That means a lot.”

When my depression works the graveyard shift

Your eyebrows furrowed as you took tentative steps towards your fathers old office, the one that was supposed to be vacant now that he was dead.

The clattering of objects only got louder the closer you got, and it was making you nervous. Perhaps someone had broken in when they heard that the billionaire was dead? The last thing you wanted was to have to resort to using your powers, because you doubted any of your other siblings would come to your aid. Expect of course, maybe Diego.

“Hello?” You called out slowly when you stepped into the room. At the sound of your voice, a head popped up from behind your fathers old desk with a wide grin, and you couldn’t help but relax slightly, “Klaus.” You breathed out.

“N/n!” Your brother squealed, jumping up the rest of the way and scrambling over to you with outstretched arms.

Alarmed, you took a sudden step back, and he stopped short when he noticed.

“Oh!” He giggled, placing a hand near his mouth, “I forgot about the whole no touchie thing!”

“What are you doing in here?” Your eyes shone in curiosity, pushing down the thoughts that threatened to swarm your mind about Klaus’s first instinct being to hug you.

“You know,” He waved a dismissive hand, “Just getting ahead on my inheritance.”

Despite yourself, your lips twitched upward slightly at the words, “Really?” You asked in slight amusement.

The man’s jaw dropped open and he stared at you with wide eyes, “Was-was that a smile I just saw? Gosh, my memories from when we were kids consisted of you being completely stone-face.” He let out a shrill giggle again, “Though, I suppose I’m now the one that’s stoned!”

Whatever form of a smile had adorned your face immediately fell and you crossed your arms tightly over your stomach.

All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

This was terrible.

The silence was painful to sit through. You must have looked like you had an itch with the way you were shifting back and forth on the couch you stiffly sat on beside Vanya.

Nobody was making eye contact with one another, it was just all of you- once siblings, now complete strangers- sitting in a tense circle in your childhood living room.

Finally, Luther cleared his throat and pushed himself off of the couch that was directly across from you, “So, I guess we should get started.” Everyone’s eyes snapped over to the man that had grown more than a little bit over time, “So, I figured we could have a sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, just at Dad's favorite spot.” He spoke awkwardly.

“Dad had a favorite spot?” Allison’s eyebrows had shot up alongside yours in surprise.

Luther’s own eyebrows furrowed, “You know, under the oak tree. We used to sit out there all the time.” He looked around for anyone to agree with him, only to be met with bewildered looks, “None of you ever did that?”

You shook your head softly, looking down at your hands that fiddled with one another from where they rested in your lap.

Klaus strolled over and began talking loudly, and you sat back and watched silently as everyone went back and forth a little bit.

“Listen up,” Luther tried to reign the family in once more when they got off track, “Still some important things that we need to discuss, all right?”

“Like what?” Diego asked with a roll of his eyes from where he was leaning against a pillar near the fireplace.

“Like the way he died.”

Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open a little as you looked at him, everyone else adorning similar looks.

“I don't understand. I thought they said it was a heart attack.” Vanya piped up in confusion.

“Yeah, according to the coroner.”

“Well, wouldn't they know?”

“Theoretically.” It was clear that Luther was beginning to realize that he had made a mistake by bringing this all up.

“Theoretically?” It was the first time you had spoken up, and you felt a couple of the others glance at you as you did so.

Yet again, your siblings began to bicker back and forth, and you sank lower into the couch cushions, not at all liking the way their voices raised more and more by the minute.

“Oh, isn't it obvious, Klaus? He thinks one of us killed Dad.” Diego’s voice snapped you harshly back to the present and a dangerous silence overcame the entire room again.

You looked up at Luther in disturbance, only to find him already staring down at you. And all at once, you felt your mouth go dry and your throat begin to close up slightly, “You don’t actually think-“

All around you, your siblings caught onto what Luther was really indicating and they adopted looks of shock. Diego let out a low whistle, “That’s messed up, man.”

“Look,” Number one stressed, “I’m just saying, according to the corner, there was nothing wrong with him. With your powers- you could painfully kill a person without showing a mark.”

You hadn’t even realized when you had stood up, but flinched back violently, as if struck, “You think I would kill him?” You whispered with tears forming in your eyes against your will.

Allison pursed her lips and averted her gaze when you desperately looked around for help, making you realize that she was uncertain as well.

“Wow,” You breathed out tearfully, shaking your head back and forth softly before shuffling out of the room.

“Y/n, wait-“

“Good job, Luther.” Diego scoffed and hit his shoulder against his brothers as he trailed after you, “Way to lead.”

I should not be left to my own devices

Somehow, not too long after leaving the living room, you ended up in the courtyard surrounded by your sibling, gazing up with wide eyes at something floating in the sky.

“What is it?”

“Don’t get too close!” Allison called, moving to place her arm in front of you and Vanya, who had your mouths dropped open and took unconscious steps forward.

“Yeah, no shit!” Diego yelled back over the wind, eyes glared against the harsh wind whipping straight at all of you.

Per usual, everyone kept shouting back and forth at one another about what to do, and in doing so, Allison dropped her arm and you were able to slowly creep forward.

Just then, someone fell out of the thing in the sky, landing in a heap right in front of your feet, but everyone was too busy glaring at each other to notice.

“Guys…” You called back cautiously, “Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?”

They come with prices and vices

You sat on the stairs with your head in your hands, still trying to wrap your mind around everything.

At the beginning of the day, you had come back home expecting to say your goodbyes and possibly even make peace with your father. But now, your long lost brother is back, and not only that, but he claims to have been way older than any of you, whilst being stuck in the body of his thirteen year old self.

“Hey, n/n,” Said brother greeted, strolling over to where you sat with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a sandwich.

You linked your fingers behind your head and tried to smile at him, but you had no doubt that it came out as a grimace, “Five.” You greeted.

Before his disappearance, Five had been the only one who truly was never afraid of you. Even if Diego claimed not to be now, you knew he was still slightly wary, and with good reason too.

“I take it things didn’t go well after I left?” He asked, plopping down onto the stairs beside you.

A small chuckle left your lips at his bluntness. Same old Five.

“No,” You agreed, “They never stopped being scared of me. And I never stopped being scared of myself.” You admitted.

He had always been the only one you could tell everything to about yourself without the fear of judgment.

The two of you fell into a silence that consisted of him munching on his sandwich thoughtfully, “You know,” Five spoke up once he had polished it off, “I think the others have always been more intimidated by you than anything.”

Your eyebrows went up, “How so?” You never really saw yourself as an intimidating individual.

“Because you’re so much more powerful than we all are… and the old man knew that.” He stood up and gave you a tight lipped smile, patting you once on your clothed shoulder and disappearing up the stairs, leaving you to dwell in your thoughts.

I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)

Allison placed a finger over her mouth to signal for you and Vanya to stay silent from where your backs were pressed up against a wall opposite of her.

A large figure in a mask came creeping through the door that you stood on either side of with a large gun resting in his grip, making your heart tighten.

Right on cue, your sister lunged out, kneeing him in the stomach and punching him in the face the second he doubled over in pain.

Quickly, you ushered Vanya out of the room and made sure she was a safe distance away before spinning on your heel to face Allison and the man, the two now throwing punches at one another with the gun discarded to the side.

Without hesitation, you dove at the man and jumped onto his back, throwing him off balance and sending him to the ground.

When he fell, Allison reeled her foot back and sent it straight into his head, effectively knocking him out cold.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, panting and trying to catch your breaths.

“You know, Y/n,” She spoke up, surprising you, “I don’t actually think you killed dad. I would never think that of you. I was just in shock that Luther would say such a thing that I didn’t know how to react. A-and I’m sorry for not saying anything when he accused you and I know I should have-“

“Allison.” You cut her off gently, “It’s okay.”

She visibly relaxed as if a weight had been taken off of her shoulders, “And listen, I know you think we all hate you,” She took a step forward and slowly placed a hand on your shoulder, eyes searching yours for any sign that you were uncomfortable with the close proximity. “But we don’t, I promise you we don’t. You were just always isolated from us by dad- and I’m not saying it isn’t partially our fault- because it is, but we’re not kids anymore so there’s no excuse for how we acted. I’m sorry.”

First Diego with the apologies, Klaus acting like everything was normal, and then Allison. You couldn’t believe that your siblings were actually trying to make up with you.

Similarly to how when your brother first talked to you like this, tears began to form in your eyes and you smiled up at her, “T-thank you, Allison. That- that means a lot.”

She shook her head gently, “I’m just sorry that it took so long for me to be able to say it.”

I wake up screaming from dreaming

You gasped, shooting upright with heavy pants as you tried to regain your breathing and keep it under control.

You have been through this routine enough times to know what to do so well that it’s almost like second nature to you at this point.

“Y-Y/n?”

Your head snapped up at the sound of Vanya's voice. She stood in the slightly opened doorway of your childhood room, where you had just been sleeping.

“Vanya,” You breathed out, leaning your back against your headboard, “What’s up?” You swallowed thickly and tried to seem as normal as possible.

The woman hesitated, “I… I left something here so I came back for it but I heard a scream…”

You let a breath loose and allowed your head to fall back, “Sorry,” You apologized in a whisper.

She shook her head back and forth vigorously, “No, no, it’s not your fault. I get it… I get nightmares too…”

You lulled your head to the side and looked at her, “Yeah?”

She nodded, hesitantly shuffling into the room before slowly sitting down on the end of your bed when you moved your feet for her.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” She asked gently.

It was then your turn to shake your head, “No, no, it’s nothing I can’t handle- nothing I’m not used to.” You reassured.

“Well… I’m here if you ever need anything.”

You smiled softly, “Thank you, Vanya.”

One day I'll watch as you're leaving

“Five?” You looked up from your plate filled to the brim with breakfast foods your mother had cooked for you as you watched your brother swiftly walk by, “What’s going on?”

“I need to run an errand.” He answered curtly, “I’ll be back soon.”

Anxiety began to set in the pit of your stomach, “O-oh, do you want me to come with you?”

He quickly shook his head back and forth, “There’s no need, it could be dangerous.”

That made the fear double inside of you, “Are you sure you have to go?” You saw him freeze in his steps when he heard the worry seeping through your tone.

He sighed softly and turned around to face you, “It’ll be fine, I’ll be back soon. I promise.”

You gnawed on your bottom lip, “It’s just… you didn’t come back once. What’s to say it won’t happen again?”

“Me.” He reassured you, “I say that it won’t happen again. I won’t let it. I promise.”

With that, he gave you one last of his rare smiles and continued out of the kitchen.

'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

“Oh, sorry,” You mumbled, eyes immediately turning downwards the second you entered the living room, “I didn’t realize anyone was in here-“

“Y/n.” Luther immediately shot up from where he had been sitting on the couch, “No, I’m glad you’re here.” Your quick steps to exit the room paused, “We should talk.” He cleared his throat.

You eyed him hesitantly, “About what?”

“I’m sorry for saying that you killed dad!” He blurted out, cheeks turning red as he spoke, “It’s- it’s just that I was so upset and I didn’t know what really happened so I was creating scenarios that I didn’t even want to come true and-“ He stopped himself and took a deep breath to calm down, “And I know that it’s not an excuse, but I’m still very sorry for saying that you would ever be capable of something like that.”

You stayed silent for a moment before slowly nodding your head, “It’s okay,” You said softly, “I forgive you.”

“Really?” He sighed in relief, “Good, because I was scared for a moment there because I was acting like such an ass and-“

“Luther.” You tried to push away the small smile that threatened to grace your face, “I already said it’s fine, just leave it.”

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

“We’re like outcast buddies!”

You looked over at Klaus with a raised eyebrow at his words.

The two of you sat on the stools near the bar in your living room, sipping on some concoction of alcohol that was no doubt older than both of you combined and would have given your father a heart attack at seeing if he was still alive.

“I’m pretty sure all of our siblings are outcasts.” You reminded him.

He sat there, pondering your words for a moment before signing and swirling his straw in his drink, “No, no, I suppose you’re right.” He frowned a little bit and slumped his shoulders slightly.

“Do you… want to be outcast buddies?” You asked hesitantly, eyeing your brother.

Immediately, he perked up with a large grin, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” He shrieked, “We can start a club! We can print t-shirts! We can invite new members-“

You chuckled, sitting back and watching in amusement as your brother got excited over seemingly nothing.

At tea time, everybody agrees

“Thanks for the food, mom, it looks delicious.” You said sincerely.

The woman smiled softly and reached over to cup your cheek, and you immediately leaned further into the touch. Because she wasn’t actually human, she could touch you without consequence. And though you knew it wasn’t the same as if another person touched you, you still took what you could get because it was all that you would get, even if it wasn’t real.

“Of course, sweetie.” She answered with that wide, kind smile of hers gently removing her hand after a moment and leaning down to place a ghost kiss on your forehead, making your eyelids flutter shut.

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

“It’s really weird to look at, isn’t it?” Five asked, walking up and standing beside you, gazing up at the wall.

It was a portrait of you and all your siblings, before Fives disappearance and Ben’s death, hanging in some random of the many hallways of the home.

“It is.” You agreed with a sigh, eyes taking it all in.

The way Five was the only one standing even remotely close to you in the painting didn’t escape your attention. Nor did the way everyone but him seemed to have their bodies angled away from you just slightly.

You forced yourself to tear your eyes away and you cleared your throat, “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we never had these powers?” You asked suddenly.

It had been a thought that had been eating away at you since you were at least seven, never having been voiced out loud by you.

“I try not to dwell on it,” Your brother admitted, “‘Cause there’s nothing we can do to change it.”

Despite his words, you allowed yourself, just for a moment, to picture what it would be like. To be able to hug people and shake hands without them having to worry for their life. To not be the scariest, most deadly person in any room you stood in.

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

All around you, walls were crumbling down and falling every which way. Each small piece of flying debris threatening to hit you.

Not so gracefully, you stumbled through the shaking building, blindly grasping onto the walls for support as you watched in horror as the house came apart all around you for reasons unknown to you.

“Y/n!” You whipped around at the sound of Luther, Allison, and Diego each calling your name and you began sprinting in their direction at the opposite end of the hall.

They each took a large step back when you neared though, causing you to pause, despite the fact that you needed to push on so that you didn’t get hit.

“What is it? What’s happening to-“ You began asking anxiously

“What did you do?” Luther’s words and tone of horror made the rest of your sentence die in your throat.

“How could you do something like this?” Allison whispered, and despite all the chaos, you somehow were still able to hear her. Her eyes shone with betrayal.

“What?” Your eyebrows furrowed, “What are you talking about?”

“Dad always said that you only reached the tip of the iceberg with your powers.” Diego was glaring at you coldly in a way that made even your heart freeze, “But I never thought you could be capable of something like this.”

“What-“

“Your powers are to destroy.” Luther hissed venomously, “You can kill everything around you, so why can’t you demolish everything in your path as well with just the touch of your bare fingers?”

Your lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves, much like the walls around you, “I would never- I can’t even-“

“I can't believe we trusted you.” Allison shook her head and slowly began backing away once more, “We’ll never make that mistake again.”

The other two trailed after her once they threw more harsh glares your way, not even caring as you sank down to your knees in shock, oblivious to the house that was still caving in on itself all around you.

You had nothing to do with this, you had no idea what was happening. How could they think that you did? After everything, all the progress you all made?

Your suspicions that you had first stepped into this house what felt like years ago- when it had only, in reality, been days- were true.

Your siblings truly did hate you.

The Hargreeves 🦹- @lovanitu @your-local-questioning-agender @jvdethirlwall @ineedmorefanfics2 @sambucky8 @spidyyparker @mukbee @i-writes-things @kiyomi-uchiha777

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

Text

"Those angel's minds are hard to change".....

... those, huh. Not "an angel's" which could include you, but those.

And how would you know they were hard to change, Vaggie? Did you try? Were you trying?

Is that why you didn't look quite like them, or act quite like them?

"They're bloodthirsty and deranged-" well we know the ones YOU hung out with were, Adam and Lute and the other Exorcists.

And you certainly are bloody too- "killed THOUSANDS"- but you stopped when you saw the sinner you'd been chasing was a child. Seeing them scared and cringing under your shadow horrified you.

You also were afraid to let anyone else see you sparing this child. The way you glanced around nervously, the low urgent way you told them to "Go, run. Now!" and that instant look of terror when you turned and saw Lute there behind you, with her shadow looming over you instead.

You knew it wouldn't end well for you.

....was that the first time Vaggie realized what she was doing was wrong? Or, is it something she'd BEEN realizing, and this was just the first time she'd been CAUGHT.

Hard to change. Well. That could be why Lute followed. A few too many questions about who you were killing and why.

(but you must not have thought you'd stood out that much. You didn't think they'd recognize you- long hair and out of uniform, missing eye and missing wings)

(did you never realize what a "bad bitch" you were? Did it never click that you were one of Adam's top girls?)

(were the exterminations something you didn't take pride in. Was your kill count just a duty you did each year, because the people you trusted said it was needed and right and good, but the idea of being "good" at it didn't sink in for you. It didn't sink in, that Adam and Lute would know you on sight after three years- You didn't even change you NAME-)

(well... you are shit at lying, after all)

(and for all your talk about how terrible and untrustworthy angels are, you still thought it was worth the wasted breath pleading with Adam not to expose your secret)

(what does that say about you? What does it say, with you missing eye and missing wings, that you had even the smallest hope of mercy from them? You trusted them once, didn't you. You trusted them enough to do the extermination every year even when you weren't happy about it. Did they see that part too, without you realizing it?)

Or maybe you DO include yourself in "those angels".

After all, seconds before sparing one sinner who happened to be a child, you impaled another on your spear without a second's hesitation. Swooped down on them and pinned them to the street like a hawk stooping on a field mouse. Did it without the slightest pause or look of remorse before darting after your next victim.

So maybe even for you it was hard to change.

Easiest to do when a child's face was staring up at you. Harder when diving down at someone's back, when they were an adult and faceless to you, too busy running in fear to turn around.

Easier again though when it's not a sinner at all but the hellborn princess looking horrified FOR you, reaching down and bandaging your wound...

...and proving your little moment of mercy right.

Vaggie, were you up in heaven worrying that there were sinners in hell, people in hell, that DIDN'T deserve to be killed again?

Do you think about how long it took you, how hard it was for you, to act on that thought even when you'd already been having it- and flinch every time Charlie talked about touching the hearts of angels and making them understand?

As if it was that easy? As if one song or set of note cards could do it?

Because you didn't change. For thousands of deaths, you didn't. For that one last person you killed right before being cast out yourself, you still didn't understand.

(until it was too late for them, anyway)

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #angst thoughts #speculation

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foundheavenly · 4 months

Text

“We were meant to be”

Disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue so please be nice.

Words: 916

Plot: you are a couple married

Pairing: Gojo x female reader

Theme: fluff, comfort

Your daughter was in her crib for bed but she wasn't quite asleep. She seemed to be staring at the ceiling, giggling and mumbling to herself. You leaned over and picked her up, cuddling the baby to your chest. She cooed in delight as she pressed her nose against yours, and put her tiny hand on your cheek.

“My angel” You smiled warmly at the little girl as your heart melted away from her cuteness. She’s so sweet, she’s like sugar. The most adorable tiny girl.

Satoru watched you from the bed, a silly grin on his face. His eyes twinkled as he watched you cuddle Yuki before you started to softly hum a lullaby. Your voice was so sweet that your daughter fell immediately asleep as you gently put her in the crib again. You looked back at Satoru and your eyes met: no words needed. You understood each other perfectly.

That's when you realized how lucky you were. It hasn't all been easy, mainly because of Satoru's recurrent absences due to missions and his responsibility as the strongest sorcerer, but you couldn't ask for more.

You weren't like him, you're only a mere human, and you never thought you'd meet someone like him. At the very beginning of your relationship, you were afraid of the reality of his world, of everything you couldn't see, and you found it hard to accept. But Satoru never gave up. He hasn't quit yet but the question has crossed his mind.

What if he stopped everything?

To live the simple, normal life he'd thought he could have with you? A family life, nothing more normal?

But you couldn't force him to quit, especially not only for you. Of course you would like him to stop everything, to stay close to you, morning and night, and never put his life in danger. But you had to trust him and you couldn’t make decision for him. After all, he was the strongest, and could single-handedly eliminate hundreds of enemies. And Satoru had promised you he'd always come back to you and now to your child.

You climbed into bed, curling up next to Satoru, and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. He was smiling and so were you.

“Thank you, honey” You said almost like a whisper as your head was right on his chest.

"No love, thank you" Satoru chuckled as he pressed a sweet kiss on the top of your head. "Being here with you is all I've ever wanted. You don’t know how much I’m grateful to you"

Hearing someone like Gojo spoke with such affection as a father and husband was adorable. If this was what he's like with you, you wondered if he was ever this sweet as a person before all the hardships life threw at him, before he knew you. But that’s some things he never really talked about and you never forced him to do so.

He pulled you closer, still being careful not to disturb your son next to your bed. You snuggled against him, the warmth of his limbs filling you with peace.

Your daughter mumbled in her sleep as she hugged his blanket. Every now and then, a small coo came out as she shifted in her deep slumber, but for the most part, she seemed to be content. Satoru watched her carefully, feeling his heart swell with love and affection. And you already knew what he’s thinking of.

He looked down at you for a moment and smiled at you before leaning over and whispering in your ear. "Let's try for another one” He suggested.

You looked up at him and let out a chuckle. “You want another one?”

"Of course” He grinned. "We’re only in the beginning of thirties. We have plenty of time. There could be more little ones running around with Yuki in a few years. Can you imagine how cute that would be?"

He smiled, gazing down at your face with such adoration.

"Maybe even a boy next time so Yuki can have a little brother” He thought with a chuckle.

Your eyes shine at the thought. It would be so great to have a little boy too.

"But not yet" He said, smiling. “For now, let's enjoy our little girl."

He kissed you on the cheek and nuzzled his face against yours, his eyes twinkling with joy.

"My heart feels like it could explode” He whispered. "You make me so happy."

You smiled widely at his words and you chuckled. Marrying this man was definitely the best decision you could have made in your entire life.

"It feels like we've been together for ages already” He said softly, pressing a gentle kiss against your neck. "But it also feels like there's always something new to learn about you. I love that. And I can’t wait to learn more and more about you”

Satoru gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, then kissed you on the forehead. His affection was always so sweet.

“We were meant to be” He smiled gently as a tear of joy fall down your cheek.

It felt unreal to be loved this much. But it was the reality. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. And If this is what your life is going to be like, you can't imagine how much you're going to love the next decades.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #satoru #jjk x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader

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readychilledwine · 7 months

Text

Broken Part 3

Summary - Rhysand and Aelia finally have their reunion, and the consequences of it be damned.

Warnings - smut, Minors go away, or at least don't interact. I'm not your mother. I, in reality, cannot control you, BUT the warning is there. Fluff, some praise kink stuff.

A/N - this is very different from the smut I normally write, but after re-reading the original, it did not feel right. This moment needed to be just... love and worship? Forgive me for any errors, I'm currently editing and rewriting on my phone as I wait for my new laptop to arrive (internal squeeling it's purple.)

Word count - 3173

Rhysand's hands felt like feathers dancing across Aelia's skin. Her back had arched, pressing her chest closer to Rhysand as he kissed down her throat. "I adore you," he licked the column of her throat before gently biting down on her pulse point and making her whine. "I missed you so much, snowflake."

She sighed happily as he continued kissing, nipping, and licking his way down her body. Her hand had tangled into his hair. "Do you know how often I think of worshiping you," His voice was soft, deep, and gentle. "How often I dream of you?"

Aelia's head fell back further into the pillows when his mouth wrapped around the tender peak of her nipple. This wasn't the hard pent up years apart sex she had been expected. The sex where Rhys would fuck her against the nearest surface with his sole mission in mind being her completion and submission.

This was the gentle sex he treated her to on special occasions. The sex that'd leave them both breathless. Where every roll of his hips into her was laced with emotion. Where every single second was spent with Rhysand whispering his love for her. Where every soft touch held meaning and a message.

I love you, he purred into her mind. His tongue flicked at the sensitive skin before he kissed his way across her chest. His hands were gripping her hips tightly. As if he was afraid of letting her go, as if she'd slip away like a dream if his grip loosened.

He had spent years waiting, praying, fighting, and playing all of his card right for this moment. The moment he filled her again, felt her again, could be vulnerable with her again. He had never questioned the Mother nor the Cauldron, even after the deaths of his mother and sister, Rhys understood everything served a purpose.

But what could his purpose truly be without Aelia there, at his side, holding him, loving him?

He moved further down her body. Nipping gently at the skin of her stomach and the faint scars from pregnancy that still lingered. He kissed each one delicately, praising her body for the gift it had given to him before continuing his journey lower.

He couldn't stop the growl that came the second he hovered above her core, nor the quick flicker of his eyes up her panting body, admiring each bruising mark beginning to adorn her pale beautiful skin. He placed a teasing kiss above where he knew she needed him, "Please," he groaned at her breathy voice. "Rhys please."

"Please, what darling?" He knew what she wanted, a feline like smirks gracing his face as he moved her legs over his shoulders and kissed the soft plushness of her inner thighs. "What does my darling need?"

Aelia had never been good at this. Growing up in a conservative household where sex had been a taboo topic. She remembered vividly the first time she had caved to his wants and tried to speak to him the way he wished for. Instead of sex, Rhysand had ended up on the floor laughing while Aelia buried her face into a pillow from embarrassment. She had learned. Slowly, but she did learn. "I need you to play with me, make me feel good. Please."

Rhys bit her skin gently, eyes rolling back as he realized what he was in for. "Need me to lick this pretty pussy baby?" The soft yes please had him grinding against the bed for any friction he could find, his mind beginning to cloud and his cock growing restless. "Lay back, darling. Let daddy take care of you."

Aelia almost screamed at the first long drag of his tongue from her licking hole to her clit. She sighed softly and whimpered as she leaned back fully. Eyes fluttering shut as Rhysand moaned against her and began sucking her clit gently and rolling it under his tongue.

She tasted like magic. She always had to Rhys. He was hooked all over again, remembering now why any female he had tried to touch after their first casual hook up held no candle to Aelia. He switched between sucking that bundle of nerves to licking her hole and feeling a drunk state set in as he drank her essence.

He moved his hand up, gathering wetness on a single digit before moving his mouth back. "Tastes so good, baby. Like the finest of wines." Aelia whined at the praise, another moan fall from her parted pink lips as he ran his finger up and down her folds. "Did you play with this pretty girl while I was gone, darling?" Aelia's hips tried to move, chasing his finger or mouth as she desperately begged him for more. "Answer my question, Aelia. Did you play with my pussy while I was gone?"

Aelia shook her head, causing him to smirk. "Only yours. All yours." Her voice was laced in need. "Please, Rhys. I need it. I need you."

His finger pushed in slowly, her jaw dropping at the stretch of the intrusion before a loud moan fell from her lips. Her tight heat was stretching around that single finger, burning her so deliciously she couldn't help but to start lightly rolling her hips. "Such a desperate little thing." Rhys went back to licking her clit, timing each movement of his tongue to match his fingers.

Aelia was quickly becoming a mess. Rhys had begun a physical assault on her body while playing another in her mind. He was sending her memories. Memories of her riding him, head back in bliss. Memories of her taking him from behind as he forced her to watch in the mirror. Memories of her on her knees for him, cock deep down her throat as she stared up at him with wide blue eyes rimmed with tears.

She was so lost in the pleasure of it all, she hardly noticed he had pushed a second finger into her until both of them were dancing on that spot inside of her only Rhysand could find. "Fuck! Rhys!" She felt herself tightening around his fingers. His mouth began to work harder. He trapped her clit between his lips, sucking, licking, gently scrapping his teeth against her. Her moans were mixing with breathy pants until finally a band snapped inside of her.

For the first time in 50 years, Aelia truly saw stars. Her mind fell into a lost fog and haze as pleasure rushed from her toes to her stomach. She screamed for him, calling his name as he pushed her over the edge of bliss. Her body shook and shattered with his touch. Good girl, just like that, darling. He praised her gently as he slowed his mouth and fingers. Just like that, Aelia.

He pulled away gently with on last kiss to her clit but kept his fingers inside of her, stretching her open with a scissoring motion. He kissed up her body, licking each nipple, before kissing her lips gently. Aelia's hands roamed the muscles of his body greedily. Rememorizing the familiar hard planes, mentally noting each new scar. Need you inside me, she told him as his tongue gently massaged hers allowing her to taste every lingering drop of herself.

Soon, he purred to her. His fingers began to speed up again. And he pulled his mouth away, leaning his forehead against hers briefly before hovering above her to watch.

That coil began to form again and Aelia started gently meeting each thrust of his fingers. "Look so beautiful riding my hand, darling." Rhys was enchanted watching her face contort and her chest begin to rise and fall again. "Give me another one, baby. Soak my hand."

He kissed her neck, sucking on her pulse point. Her moans were music in his ears. They reminded him of happy times, of not so distant memories. "I've missed you so much, Aelia." He bit her pulse point, savoring the cry she made as her pain mixed with pleasure.

She was on fire, the magic losing control as she couldn't help but to drop every guard she had. The windows were frosting over, snow beginning to fall harder. Rhys shivered in delight, bringing his body closer to hers. "There we go, darling," her soft inner walls pulsed again. "Cum for me. Let go." He pressed his thumb to her clit at just the right time, causing her to fall off the ledge again and cry out his name.

Rhysand couldn't wait any longer, all but ripping his hand from her dripping cunt and sucking his fingers clean as he claimed his space between her thighs. He could have her any way he wanted, but he knew this was right. He forced her long smooth legs around his waist and took no more time to enter her in one quick harsh thrust knocking the breath from Aelia's overestimated body.

"Fuck," he groaned out, eyes rolling back slightly as he felt her trying to adjust to his size. "Feels like home, darling." She whimpered at his praise. "Can I move?"

"Please." Rhysand set a slow pace, enjoying the soft whines and sighs his wife was making as her hands came to explore his arms and chest. Every deep drag of his cock shot shivers through both of them as he hit all the right places.

Aelia raised her upper body, resting on her forearms and hands to touch his forehead against hers again, silently pleading with him for intimacy. He could never deny her. Never resist her bright shining blue eyes. He leaned her back down, large hand spraying between her shoulder blades as he pressed his chest against hers.

Her arms wrapped around his waist and one copied his, going between his shoulders to bring them as close as possible.

He began whispering words of love and praise into her ear, watching every little change in her face as his hips met hers. She was moaning his name, whispering how good he felt, how much she had missed this.

Rhys focused in, knowing he wasn't going to last long with the way she was squeezing him and how good she felt wrapped around his cock like a perfect warm sleeve. "Hold on to me, darling," Rhys kissed her gently before switching the angle of his thrusts.

Aelia threw her head back into the pillows, a lewd moan ripping through her throat as he found his mark. Rhys began picking up speed as her nails sunk into his skin. Each time he hit that spot inside of her, Aelia felt herself slipping from reality. "So good," she panted as she clung tighter to him. "Feels so good, Rhys. Right there, please."

She could feel that coil getting tighter and tighter, begging to be released. Her walls were fluttering. "Rhys please," he knew what she wanted. She watched his brows pinch together, jaw falling slightly as he began to moan and pant.

"Not yet, Aelia. I, fuck-" he couldn't even finish the sentence, his cock beginning to twitch at the feeling of her walls trying to milk him. "I need."

She kissed him deeply, "Need more?" He nodded desperately, whining as his thrusts became sloppy. Need to cum together, he said into her mind, mouth to preoccupied with moaning her name as she grew tighter and tighter. Almost there, darling. Just hold on a little longer.

Aelia whimpered but obeyed, moving to lick and nip at the shell of his ear, then his pulse point. She began doing anything she could to offer him more pleasure, suddenly saddened by the lack of wings being displayed.

After a few more thrusts into her tight heat, he couldn't hold back any longer, bringing the hand holding her waist between them to play with her clit again. At the same time that he began to gently circle her nerve point with those long calloused fingers, Aelia bit down on the part of his neck that made Rhys putty in her hands.

She screamed his name as she came, and he growled and groaned out hers. He growled harder as her nails redug into his back, making him give her a few more sharp thrusts. Her walls were draining him for everything he had, causing their released to mix together on her inner thighs and bedsheets. He began to kiss her sloppily, feeling their hearts racing in unison as he held her tight. He oulled out her slowly, watching as her back arched and then rested on top of her, studying the ethereal haze setting in on her face.

His attention was drawn to faelights in the courtyard suddenly snapping on. "Aelia, is your room sound shielded?" Panic fell over her face as she realized it wasn't because she had not been awake to do it herself. "We have to go, darling. Now."

There was no basking in the post bliss high of their love making. Not as she heard guards and Kallias yelling. "If you are coming with me. I need to know now Aelia. My banishment is punishable by death, and I will not fight him in his own court."

She didn't know what else to do, she nodded and clung tighter to him as darkness surrounded them. They landed hard on their marriage bed in the Riverhouse. Rhys was sweating again, the magic pulling so much out of him he had to pause every administration of aftercare and love he wanted to give Aelia.

He finally lifted her and carried her to their large bathroom, walking into the already filled and warmed waters before sinking down with his wings appearing.

"He's going to banish me, isn't he?" Rhys nodded, his mouth tightening as he tried to comfort her. "I can never go back?"

He kissed the top of her head. "I will prove to him I didn't do it, darling. I will fight this so we can still enjoy our Winter home." He made her the promise, unknowing if it was empty words. "Let's not think about it right now, hmm?" He tilted her head up to him, "we just had a beautiful reunion, do not let darkness and sadness ruin this for us."

She nodded, blinking away the tears lining her eyes. He summoned her favorite wine, running his hand up and down her spine as she relaxed back into him. "I love you," she breathed as her head fell into his shoulder. "I never realized how much I truly loved you until you weren't here anymore."

Rhysand paused, his arm resting on her hips holding her tighter against him. "I realized how deeply I loved you when I realized the extent I would go to in order to protect you. To protect our son." Rhys looked down at her.

"I knew there was a chance you would never forgive me for what I had to do, but I had to risk it. I had to risk losing you as long as it meant you were alive. She wanted you down there. She knew who you were. Knew you weren't in Winter. I had wiped everyone's memories of where you were." His hand come to rub his jaw. "I had to cage memories of Nyx learning to walk, to talk, of him throwing his food so deep down into my mind I almost forgot at times I had a son." His voice cracked.

"I would have given her anything to protect you two and our family. If she asked for my own head on a spike, I would have let her take it." Aelia clung to him at the confession.

"I never wanted Feyre, Aelia. I had always hoped it would be you. That it was you, and it had been delayed due to trauma or timing. I was desperate for that snap between us. When it wasn't you, I felt like part of me shattered. Like I would never be whole again."

Rhys paused again as she kissed him, enjoying the feeling of her lips lingering on his. "I went to Spring to reject the bond, darling." The words crashed into her like waves beating against a shore. The intensity of the statement could have cut her. "And when I came back and you were gone. That last bit of me broke. I wanted to chase after you to go there immediately and rip you and our son out of the beds you were in and bring you both home. But Azriel refused to tell me exactly where you were."

Aelia would have to thank Azriel later when she wasn't naked in her husband's lap, when her chest pressed against his watching as he sipped wine. "When Nyx came home, part of me came back to life. I had hope again. We sat for a while, just talking. I learned he prefers hand to hand over weapons training, thinks my taxation system is unfair, and needs to be updated. He has found a way to sneak out of my shields and into an illyrian camp, tricking the minds of everyone there to ensure he could partake in the Blood Rite."

Pride laced into his voice as he smirked. "I learned from my son that you were devoted to him. That you waited on him, hand and foot pushing your own emotion and physical well being to the side the whole time I was gone. He told me if I didn't bring you home within 3 days, he'd leave and stay by your side, regardless of where that was."

Aelia responded, pulling back to look at Rhys. "I never asked that of him. He came with me by choice and of free will." Rhys nodded.

"I am aware of that, snowflake. I also told him that Summer would freeze over before I left tonight without you." His face was serious. "Because, I had hoped deep down, your heart and soul were aching for me as much as I was longing for you."

"I will always long for you. I will always be yours." Rhys shut his eyes, basking in her quiet confession. "I love you"

He answered sincerely. "And I love you. More than the stars in the sky."

"Wash my hair?" He nodded, allowing her to turn and began caring for her. It was a simple act of love. He rubbed shampoo into her scalp and massaged it to eliminate the tension she was feeling. She sighed in content as he washed away the suds and switched to working conditioner into her long white strands. He pushed her hair over her shoulder, allowing it to set for a bit, and began to massage her shoulders and kiss the back of her neck.

Soft moans began to fall from her lips again as he worked out what felt like years of knots.

He took her in the bath again. Then made love to her in front of their fireplace. And again on their bed.

She slept soundly in his arms that night, allowing him to wrap his wings around her to block out the early morning sun that would disturb them in just a few short hours.

Rhys did not sleep at all, too afraid if he did she would be gone. That this was all a dream.

But Mother, even if it was, Rhys could not imagine a happier one.

Tag list: @we-were-beautiful @daedriclys @historygeekqueen

#acotar #acotar x reader #rhys x reader #rhysand x reader #rhys acotar #rhys fic #rhysand x oc #rhysand acotar #rhys x oc

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sadokasochism · 3 days

Text

I am destroyed over the whole god/worshipper dynamic and have no idea how to adequately put it into words.

I mentioned in another post that Mizi could not fathom Sua ACTUALLY dying, or comprehend what death really meant, and attributed this to her relatively comfortable and sheltered life as the pet of Shine. She was not taught to conceptualise death as a loss, and she never faced any opposition to that world view. From what we know, she might have never really known true, lasting pain or loss before the end of Round 1.

However, her reaction could also be due to her placing Sua on a pedestal as her personal god and universe. She viewed Sua as her absolute everything, and why would any faithful worshipper believe their god could be killed? Only, while Sua was everything to HER, that perception did not carry over to their captors. Mizi's love and devotion was not enough to save Sua. Forces stronger than them both took her away like she was nothing.

How must Mizi have felt, having her perception of Sua as the centre of the universe shattered that way? Coming to the violent realisation that Sua was just another human, and that humans are indeed that vulnerable and disposable? That Sua could now only exist in memories and in the visions that haunt her? That Sua is not a god, but a ghost?

Now we look at Till's perception of Mizi. Again, in an earlier post I mentioned the tragedy of Till falling for someone who did not have a reason to leave. He had a lot of blind faith in Mizi, and it could be said that he idealised her as a paragon.

It's not hard to see how he reached this point. The poor kid had not been shown a lot of kindness in his life, and so meeting someone who was genuinely good and so full of joy must have had a huge impact on him.

However, his faith is still a blind one, but in a different way to Mizi's blind faith in Sua. He is happy to endure any amount of horrible treatment and does not expect anyone to help him. He doesn't resent Mizi for being so close to their captors, for her dreams stopping at Alien Stage. He doesn't resent her after he gives up on his chance at freedom and is subjected to who knows how many more years of pain and torment at the hands of their captors (Not that Mizi is at fault, Till made his own decision that Mizi likely never even knew about).

He sees Mizi's innocence and ignorance to the cruelty of their reality as something wonderful instead of a character flaw that prevents her from saving herself or her loved ones.

Sua has the same issue, seeking comfort and bliss within Mizi's brightness instead of acknowledging the cruel reality of their world. Maybe she felt sharing her perspective with Mizi would dim Mizi's bright spirit, and so she was more than content to wait out the clock with her god.

Maybe Sua felt that meeting Mizi, loving her and being loved by her in return, was nothing short of a miracle after the life she had lived before Anakt Garden. Maybe she felt in light of that, aspiring for something like freedom or a long, long life of happiness with the person she loved the most was asking far too much. The time she got with Mizi was already a miracle, why expect or demand anything more?

If Sua was afraid of Mizi losing her brightness, no wonder she was so affected by Ivan's lecture about becoming a source of trauma for Mizi after her death.

Ivan's view of Till as his god is a bit different. He is similar in that he doesnt seem to demand his devotion be reciprocated, he just wants his god to acknowledge him as a person, as someone that is at least PART of Till's universe, if he can't be all of it.

He is also very willing to become a martyr for his god while expecting nothing in return but Till continuing to live. He acknowledges Till as vulnerable and falable in a way that Till doesn't with Mizi, and Mizi didn't with Sua. He knows damn well that while Till is the centre of HIS universe, their captors certainly do not hold Till in that same regard. He knows that love and devotion in a vacuum does not save anyone.

Which is why he was always the one to free Till, to try and escape with him, and why he pulled the stunt he did in Round 6. Ivan knew that actually making an impact in this world required personal risk and sacrifice, because their captors don't give a fuck if you're in love or if that other pet-human they're about to kill means everything to you.

Till knew this too, but his idealised version of Mizi is too perfect to be broken and beaten down by this world the same way the rest of them have been. So he's still shattered by Round 5, seeing how far Mizi has fallen and then not knowing if she's alive or dead, but knowing for sure she is far out of reach. I wonder, did he regret not running away with Ivan at that point? Did he wonder what all those years of suffering were for, if he was just going to end up losing Mizi anyway? If this world was able to break her too, no matter what he did?

Mizi is gone and changed forever, and nothing he did could stop it. His love and devotion and sacrifice wasn't enough. He failed his god.

In Round 6, Ivan is faced with the same thing. His god has lost his fighting spirit, is changed forever, and Ivan's love and devotion wasn't enough to save him. The last thing he can give is his life, and hope that will be enough. Just like Sua. But he was never Till's god, was never even part of his universe, he probably won't even leave a ghost behind. So, the choice is obvious, really.

They're all so desperate for hope and connection in this lonely, painful existence that they make a person their entire universe, and then are repeatedly crushed when they are shown again and again that their soul-consuming love for one another is seemingly meaningless in a world that views them as infinitely disposable.

#alien stage #alien stage mizi #alien stage sua #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #alnst #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst ivan #alnst till #mizisua #mizitill #ivantill #basically i will never know peace again

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billthedrake · 9 days

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MY SON THE PORN STAR (PART FIVE)

I tried not to go wild. I still was married and still had my normal corporate guy life in Kansas City.

But doing porn turned out to be addictive. It was the combination of a deep exhibitionist streak I was discovering in myself and the access to incredibly hot men willing to suck me or get fucked by my big tool. It made me feel like a total stud... less middle-aged, I guess.

And work trips were the perfect cover. I really was doing the road warrior thing for my company, so I wasn't lying to Kate THAT much. But I did sometimes add a night to my travels.

Like the week after Easter. I had a business trip to Denver, but I added an extra evening and squeezed in a quick connector flight to San Francisco on my dime with miles. Muscle Pup Mike, my son's friend and escort/pornstar buddy, set me up with a versatile OnlyFans star there. I shot two scenes with him, actually, one oral, one with me masked as we had a nice, long 50-minute fuck scene. I didn't feel a deep chemistry with Kevin, aka "Jeff Reed," but I felt a deep chemistry with the two cameras that were on us. Besides, sex with a muscular 28-year-old hunk was hard to beat.

Turns out, the next night would beat it. I flew to Denver bright and early in the morning and had my sales meeting all day. I was rolling my business-style carry on into my hotel room right around dinner. I undid my tie and sat down to unlace my shoes before calling Kate to check in.

Yeah, I felt pretty bad knowing I was stepping out behind her back. I'd deal with that guilt later. Either stopping porn cold turkey or making a break or separation with my wife. At this point I wasn't ready to do either.

I wasn't a frequent poster, but managed a video every 2-3 weeks. And I had a growing following of fans willing to pay a modest subscription for just that. Sure, I got some comments complaining that I never took my mask off, but apparently I had the body and blond-furred looks a lot of guys went for. And my cock size helped - a lot. I was careful about not talking on camera, or I just edited those parts out, but I'd learned to be verbal with my grunts, to show appreciation for my sucker/bottom and to let viewers get that thrill. It worked.

I sat, alone in that quiet hotel room, thinking just how wild my double life had become, and I fiddled with my phone again. Chicago was an hour ahead and now would probably be a good time to call. I pulled up Travis's contact and FaceTimed him.

"Hey Dad," my son greeted.

"Hey," I said, leaning back and feeling my boner ride up in the crotch of my trousers. "I didn't catch you at a bad time, I hope?"

"Nah," he said. "Just getting back from the gym." Indeed, he had a workout zip-up on and I could see the familiar kitchen from his condo in the back.

"All sweaty?" I teased.

That got a laugh out of my son. He was surprised how horny I was sometimes, how much I'd leaned into this weird affair we had going on. "Something like that. How'd your shoot go?"

"Real well," I replied. "Kevin is a real professional. Made it easy."

"Just a professional?" Travis asked, with a teasing smile on his cute face.

"Just fucking," I said. "Not a ton of chemistry, I'm afraid, but I think I got some good footage for the next two vids." I'd always sent Travis the digital files via encryption, and he did the editing magic on the material. As amazing as my son was at being on-screen talent, he also had a knack for making great porn behind the camera.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Dad," he said. "But I think you're a natural adult performer."

I smiled. "Is that what the kids call it?" I joked.

That made my son laugh. I loved seeing and hearing his laugh. "OK... you're a natural porn star, Dad.... You know, it's really hot to say that. I get so hard watching you perform, you know."

My throat got dry. Travis knew how to work me up. "Jesus, Trav. You have no idea how much I've watched your videos."

That made my son laugh again, those dimples forming. "I have a pretty good idea, Dad. You've told me before."

"I lied," I teased. "I figured if I told you the real number, you'd get freaked out."

"Turned on is more like it, Dad," Travis said. "Why don't you show me how much you like em. You hard now?"

"Rock hard," I said. I turned the phone down to show off the rod forming a ridge in my trousers.

"Fuck," Travis hissed. "My dad has a real porn star dick. I have a shoot in a couple of hours. I'll definitely be thinking of your cock."

"Who's it with?" I asked. This was the wild phase Trav and I were at now. Father and son, lovers, flirts, and professional colleagues in the adult entertainment business.

"Bud and Spike," he said. I recognized the screen names of two muscle daddies from Dallas, into the more hardcore stuff.

I made a wince of an expression. "Go easy with those guys, buddy," I said. "For real." I felt strangely protective of my son. Which was weird, because in general he was the one looking out for me as I began doing porn more regularly.

Travis smiled. "I will, Dad. Promise. We're planning a more vanilla scene than they normally do." He gave me a wink. "Listen, I gotta go get ready, actually."

"All right, buddy," I said. I wished we had time for some phone sex because just talking to Travis was turning me on big time. "I can't wait to see your scene. And I'll be in Chicago in a couple of weeks. We'll catch up then, OK?"

"You bet, Dad," he said. "Love ya."

"Love ya, too, Big Guy."

We hung up.

I let out a hiss of air. I was horny now. Turns out "Jeff Reed" hadn't drained me. I did have a back up idea. There was some University of Colorado kid who'd been emailing me on the anon account Travis set up for me and linked to my OnlyFans. Call me a narcissist, but I'd been eating up the fan mail, and something about this college dude Bryan won me over. Maybe it was the pics he sent. Cute as fuck, brown haired, boy-next-door looks. And the nude pics that showed a surprisingly built body for a college kid - either a jock or someone who hit the college gym regularly. Smooth body with just a dusting of a treasure trail, creamy white skin, washboard abs, hard cock, amazing bubble ass.

Or maybe it was the request that I hit him up if I was ever in the Denver area.

So far I'd only done pro-amateur porn stars in the OF circuit my son and MusclePup Mike worked in. Some of it was the self-justification that it wasn't fully emotional cheating, just porn I was doing. Some of it was caution. All the arrangements went through Mike and because of my mask, no one knew my identity.

But I was horny now and sent this Bryan kid a message. I didn't expect a reply, but it was worth a shot. I set down my phone and undressed to take a quick shower. It was only 6:30, but it had been a long day.

There was a message waiting for me. "God yes, man," Bryan wrote. "I could be there in about an hour and a half," he wrote. Then almost nervously, there was a follow up. "God, I must seem overly eager. But fuck you're so hot. Let me know what works for you."

"How bout 8:30?" I typed back and gave my hotel name and room number. I wanted to get some food in me.

"Awesome. Yeah. See you soon," came the almost immediate reply.

I had only business casual clothes packed, so I got dressed to grab a bite at a restaurant near my hotel. I got back to my room with about ten minutes to spare. I brushed my teeth and checked my appearance in the mirror. I wasn't crazy about getting older, I had to admit, but I could see the "DILF" look that Travis and Mike were always raving about. Well-preserved was the expression, I suppose.

I was actually a little nervous when I heard the knock. I had no business fooling around with a guy like this. Not making a porn vid but actually having a cheating hook up. The messed up thing is that most guys would consider the videos a worse infraction, but this felt naughtier in a way.

Bryan looked great. Better than great. He was cuter than his pictures, and I think his nerves made him more attractive to me. He forced a smile but was shaking.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I smiled. "Come in, bud."

He was shorter than me, and his size made his collegiate muscle look more compact on his build. Maybe not collegiate wrestler exactly, but definitely that wrestler body type. A little thick, even. MusclePup Mike would have called him a twunk.

"I didn't know what you'd look like," Bryan said softly. His gray eyes were taking me in.

I remembered now he'd never seen me outside of my videos, all masked up. "You came over anyway," I observed.

"Oh yeah," he enthused. "You're my favorite porn star, hands down." He blushed but didn't stop gushing. "You probably know this... I guess most guys don't pay to watch your videos, but I subscribed to your site so I could email you."

"For real?" I laughed.

"Yeah," Bryan replied, that nervous smile growing bigger. "You're not on Twitter or Insta," he explained. His eyes swept up and down my frame. "God, you're even hotter in person. I knew you'd be hot, but... wow."

I was eating up his flattery. "You're not so bad yourself, buddy... bring it in..." I held up my arms to gesture him to come in for a kiss. He did. He was nervous and that turned me on for some reason. But once we started making out, Bryan got real into it, meeting my tongue with his, before practically sucking me into his mouth.

His hands were feeling it up, tentatively at first, then all over. He chuckled as he pulled back so he could feel me up better. I stood there and let his hands roam over my button-down shirt and the gym-toned muscle underneath. At that moment I was VERY glad for the personal trainer Travis set me up with.

"I hope you don't mind my saying," Bryan said, "But it's so wild to be with a porn star."

"Don't mind at all, buddy," I hissed. I was now experiencing the other thrill of doing porn. I knew I was into the exhibitionism of it all, but now I was feeling the hero worshop, the adoration of a young guy like this. I was rock hard.

He gulped as I reached down to undo my khakis, unzipping them and reaching in to haul out my dong. "I guess you really like my cock, then, huh?" I growled.

This wasn't me. At least it wasn't Brad Connors. Married father of three. Road warrior corporate guy. But being MaskedDaddy gave me the sexual confidence and freedom to be someone else.

"Fuck yeah," Bryan gasped as he saw my prick. "That cock's so fucking big..." His eyes were wide, taking in my size before he looked up at me. "OK, if I touch it?"

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't, buddy," I said. "That's why you came over isn't it?"

He nodded, like a chastised kid. Then tentatively he stepped in again and reached forward, like he was afraid of being branded by a hot poker. But once his fingers made contact, the hesitation was gone. The college dude circled his fingers and round me, griping my hardon and gently stroking a couple inches of it to get a feel of the girth and heft. "You don't know how much I've jerked off to your videos," he said. "I wasn't gonna admit to that you, but fuck...." His voice was heavy in his ragged breathing but still had that frat-bro collegiate kind of tone.

"I think we talked about you sucking that dick," I grunted. In our texts, Bryan had offered a blow job, and his presence now was making me really want this. In a surprising way, his realness was making me click with the college kid more than I did with a megahot porn star. Maybe it was the opposite of what Bryan was feeling, where he was living out his porn dream.

"Yeah," he nodded. But he gave me a sheepish shrug. "I, um, don't have a lot of experience."

I patted his cheek. "Give it your best, bud. Please. Daddy's really fucking horny." Yep, this was porn me talking, but it was the magic words for Bryan, who couldn't get down on his knees fast enough.

The young stud actually whimpered as he pulled my dick to his face and began licking it. It was slobbery and impetuous, and his attempt to take me into mouth was more urgent than skilled.

"Easy, buddy..." I urged as he choked a little on my size. "Daddy's got a big cock... take your time."

He nodded and moaned around my prick, flashing those gray eyes up, a little teary. Fuck.

I wouldn't say he got the hang of, but he got a lot more comfortable. Slowly, he sucked me, a few inches at a time, working up the focus to get an extra one back into his throat. The young dude was so excited to blow me, and I was loving this. Slowly I stroked his hair and encouraged him. "That's it, sport... you don't need the training wheels do ya? You go right for the big ones. OH FUCK, that feels nice."

"Yeah?" Bryan asked as he spit out my cock and swallowed the excess spit. I could tell he wanted to make sure he was sucking me right, but more than that he struck me as a young man who craved positive feedback in sex.

"You're doing great, buddy," I said.

There was something about this connection which was night and day different than "Jeff Reed." Bryan was a real guy, a college stud eager for me and not just playing out sex for the camera. And yet...

"You interested in filming this, Bryan? It's SO hot to watch you, buddy."

I could see two reactions in his face at once. A fearful shock at the idea. And an excitement to even consider it. "Oh man," he responded, not giving me a hint which one was the bigger emotion.

I slowly stroked my rod in front of his face, working in his spit over my dong and letting it get steel hard for his gaze. I had toyed with using viagra for my shoots, but even with my size I didn't have an issue getting real hard erections like this. I just loved sex too much.

"If it helps, I packed a spare mask," I offered.

Maybe another dude would have wondered why I had a mask with me, much less more than one mask. But Bryan had been used to seeing me in one, so maybe it just seemed normal to him.

"This is crazy," he said, his fearful look breaking into a smile.

"Is that a yes or a no?" I asked, gently tapping his cheek with my dong.

"Yes," he muttered excitedly before taking ne into his mouth once more.

I let him work me for a few seconds then pulled back. I went to my carryon back and retrieved the masks. I wouldn't need one, I suppose, but I tossed both over Bryan's way while I got my portable tripod, a compact digital camera, and a spare cameraphone, an old Iphone I used for extra handheld footage.

I was worried I was killing the mood setting everything up and fiddling with the lights. But I loved shooting porn, and if anything my dick was harder in anticipation with shooting a different kind of scene. Me with an amateur costar. Even if Bryan wasn't an experienced I just knew this would be a hot video. And if not, I'd enjoy jerking off to it.

Fortunately, Bryan seemed excited too. I could see the excitement in his eyes, even behind the mask. He'd taken his shirt off, maybe to be less identifiable but was on his knees still, hands braced on his thighs. "I can't believe I'm going to be in one of your vids," he said. Yeah, the dude was into this.

I sauntered back, my dick leading the way. "If you're not comfortable with the results, we don't have to post anything," I said, remembering how important that veto power was for my comfort level for my first vid with my son. "Otherwise, I'll take this as your consent."

"Got it," he nodded.

The second his lips touched my prick again, I let out a gasp. He looked up at me, excited, and I took in his green eyes looking up through the mask holes. I pointed the phone camera at him to capture that. I wasn't gonna shoot that angle the whole time, since I preferred to enjoy getting head instead of playing cameraman the whole time. But the snapshots of him looking up would add to the effect.

Bryan's technique wasn't better this time, but his enthusiasm had tripled, at least. I set down the phone and eased my stance back, my posture upright. I was still in my business casual attire as this horny college kid blew me. I urged him to go slower at first with a quick deep grunt.

I heard the guy moan around my meat as something relaxed in his throat and he was able to more steadily take more of my dong into his throat. Working me up and down, I reached behind his head and massaged his scalp through the mask, gently urging him deeper.

"Yes," I choked in response. "Suck me." I'd gotten pretty good at deguising my voice. Using my porn voice. "Suck Daddy."

That did it. Bryan pulled off for a quick breath, then descended all the way down. I'm a big guy, and even some of the OnlyFans studs had a hard time swallowing my sword. But they weren't feeling the crazy sexual thrill this kid was.

He held a second then it was too much, and he pulled off with a sputtering cough. I could see his eyes watering even through the mask holes.

"Sorry," he breathed, as he tried to regain composure.

"It's OK... take your time," I said in my normal voice. Travis would have to edit that out. All for the best. I gave Bryan a second to catch his breath and then I leaned down and met him for a sensual kiss.

"You're doing real good," I said. Then leaning up, I offered my hard dong again. It had gone down a little, but was still pretty heavy. "Ready for more?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, his gray eyes looking back up at me.

His mouth on me got me rock hard once more. I pulled out some to let the camera catch my full hardon, then pushed back in between his wet lips. Bryan was novice, but that was OK. I was turned on from a change of pace from the OnlyFans dudes. This was a real guy, young and eager. I let him suck and get into sucking.

"Yeah," I grunted, I ran my fingers through his hair again and took the chance to push him down on my meat some more.

Byran was up for the challenge. He grunted around my prick but his throat relaxed and swallowed more of my thickness.

I started cumming. I wanted to ride out the orgasm in his college kid's throat but instead I pulled out and shot a couple of jets onto his mask and his lips before pushing back in just a few inches to let him suckle the remaining dribbles of semen.

I caught my breath a half second then picked up the cameraphone again. I hadn't taken too much handheld footage, so now I got a good view of Bryan slurping on my sated meat, licking up and down and outright worshipping my cock. Thankfully I wasn't too sensitive after nutting, and even if I lost a little of my rigidity, my dick kept a heavy firm meatiness that looked good.

I finally pulled back and turned both cameras off. "You were amazing, buddy," I said with a smile.

Already Bryan was pulling his mask off. I was glad. The guy was real fucking cute. "Dream come true for me," he said.

I could tell he was still horned up and at full sexual arousal from servicing me. "Get on the bed, kiddo," I urged. "Lie back."

He didn't seem to know what was going on but he complied. His body was shaking some as I undid his jeans and yanked them down.

"What are we gonna do?" he asked with some apprehension. Still he raised each leg to let me pull off his jeans. And his boxers showed a thick boner beneath the cotton.

"Your turn to get off," I said, not really answering his question.

Still, Bryan nodded and hooked his thumbs in the elastic of his boxers to slide them down. I let him take them off as I stepped into the bathroom to get lube out of my toiletties bag.

Bryan was now lying back on the bed, fully naked, his creamy white muscle looking even better than I anticipated now that he was stripped nude.

"You an athlete?" I asked as I flipped open the cap on the lube.

Bryan's eyes were nervously only the lube. I think I knew what he was worried about, and a part of me enjoyed playing with his nervousness. I'll give him credit, he put on a brave face as his eyes met mine to answer me. "Yeah. Wrestling.""

My guess had been spot on. "It shows," I said. "You have an amazing body."

"Thanks," he said, watching me get on the bed, me making a show of drizzling some lube on his hardon. His dick twitched, untouched, he was so turned on. "You have more the football build."

"Baseball was my sport," I answered. "And golf. But my trainer has helped me bulk up."

"You're my fantasy," he said softly. "The whole package. None of the guys know I'm into this, though." I could read in his face that he wasn't sure if he should be getting emotionally open like this.

I patted his thigh and set down the lube on the night stand with my other hand. I was fully dress, with my cock sticking out of the fly of my khakis still. I wasn't sure I wanted to get off again, but I knew I could. Bryan was hot as fuck, and I was grooving on his clear attraction to me.

"A shame," I winked, trying to make the conversation sexy again. "Maybe you could have some fun. With you coach, too."

That got a laugh from him. Bryan had a sexy smile. "I've definitely thought of Coach. A lot."

I rubbed his legs some more more, outright caressing them now. His quads were solid as fuck, hard brawn that contrasted with the soft collegiate fur. I copped a feel of his ball sac, lightly haired and ran my fingers up the lubey length of his shaft.

"Lift your legs, bud," I urged, my tone friendly even as my words were commanding.

He got that deer in the headlights look. "I've never done this," Bryan said softly.

I had a good idea what he meant. "You a virgin?" I asked. My eyes doing their best friendly look I could manage as I played with his hard dick and his balls. Not stroking him, more exploring his rigid younger dick. Getting him excited to play more.

"For fucking, yeah..." he replied. "Sorry."

I don't think I realized till then how much I wanted to tap this hot wrestler's ass. Maybe his innocence was fueling some of my desire, too. "Not gonna do anything you're not ready for buddy," I said. "Come on, just lift your legs for Daddy."

Maybe that was the magic word, because Bryan leaned back and raised his legs up.

"You can pull em back," I instructed, taking a good look before leaning forward and crouching down.

"Holy FUCK!" the kid gasped at the first swipe of my tongue. His hair down there was light, and I enjoyed the contrast with hairier guys or even the OnlyFans dudes who shaved smooth. It was a delight to lick up and down the trench and then focus more on his tight pucker.

"Jesus," Bryan gasped. He wasn't naturally verbal, but I could tell his mind was being blown. Surprised, maybe a little ticklish but he definitely loved getting rimmed.

I pulled back. That ring was drum tight all right. It made me realize I'd never eaten out a cherry hole before. My son's certainly wasn't virgin. "Go ahead and stroke off," I urged. I relished the ability to speak in my normal voice now that the cameras were off, even as some of my Masked Daddy persona came out anyway. "I want you to come kiddo."

I watched as he excitedly gripped his boner and start to stroke it. Then I dove back in. Not just rimming but fully eating him out, munching the tightness of his asshole.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," the kid gasped. I knew his orgasm was starting. I held onto the back of his meaty thighs and even pushed back a little to angle him perfectly to got to town with my tongue and my sucking mouth.

"NMNGGH!" came the grunt of his cum. Bryan's whole body was tensing up and I knew he was giving up his load in a big way.

Indeed as I pulled back I saw that beautiful creamy white wrestler muscle sprayed with splotches of his sperm. I began licking it up off his abs and chest, saving it in my mouth before I finally met him in a kiss to share it.

The snowballing caught him by surprise but he was way into it, accepting his own cum then pushing it back into my mouth, our tongues working it back and forth and frothing it up with our own saliva.

He had a big, content smile on his face when finally parted, swallowing what little seed was left on our tongues. "I thought..." he started then stopped himself.

"I know, buddy," I said. I patted his chest gently. "I won't lie... I came THIS close to pushing your boundaries."

He nodded, emotionally raw. I could tell he half wanted me to. But only half. "I know. I don't know how, but I could tell."

His hand reached up and ran along my arm through my button down shirt. "I'll probably be kicking myself for not going all the way. But I wasn't ready," he said.

"It was all great, buddy," I assured him.

"I should go," he said. "I got a long drive back to Boulder."

I pulled back and gave him one last pat as I eyed up his nakedness one more time. Bryan was the real deal. Not a "jock" for pay. I felt a strange emotional connection even with the sexual chemistry. I'd have to process why I was feeling that.

For now, I let him up and I went to piss while he got dressed again. When I stepped back from the bathroom, he was mostly dressed again, and had a dreamy, moody expression.

"Thanks for that... fuck I don't even know your name."

"Will 'Daddy' do?" I asked with a wink.

"Guess it will have to," he said with resignation. "You've made my dream come true."

I stepped up for a final kiss, then I showed him to the hotel room door.

***

I was glad Bryan didn't sleep over. I needed a good rest and I had a busy schedule with my client visit the next day.

It felt like naughty fun messaging Bryan when I got a chance, though. It started off with "had a great time" kind of texts, but Bryan admitted how he wished he'd gone all the way.

"Maybe if you're in town again, I'll have the courage," he admitted.

"I'm in town another night if you manage to get that courage, kiddo."

There was silence on his end. Like an hour and a half before I got another text, and even then it was a half hour before I had a break after my afternoon presentation.

"Sorry," Bryan wrote. "Was in class and my prof goes apeshit if we're on our phones LOL."

I texted. "I worried I'd spooked you."

This time the reply was quicker. "Dude, you don't know how horny I've been all day. You're definitely not spooking me."

I bit my lip and looked around. I probably looked like I was doing business texts on my phone. But fuck I was getting horny too. Somehing about this Bryan kid got under my skin. "Is that a yes?" I wrote. "You gonna give me your cherry?"

I was pushing boundaries now for sure, but Bryan seemed up for it now, more than the previous night. "I wanna. Yeah."

"Daddy wants to get in your hole SO bad, buddy." Then, "I'll go easy on you."

"God yes," came his reply. "I'm hard as fuck now."

God this was gonna happen. One more boundary to push. "Will you let me fuck you on camera?"

There was a pause now. Then, "Masked?"

"As you like," I wrote, almost hoping Bryan wouldn't wear one, even if I knew he would. To coax him, I added, "I'll tell you my first name if you let me film us."

"Deal. LOL."

I looked up. Folks were filing back into the conference room. I hoped my chubbed cock wouldn't show. "I gotta go. But maybe plan for 8:30? I have a work dinner before."

"God yes. I can't believe we're going to do this."

"We're going to do it, Kiddo." I assured him. "I want you so bad."

I got a blushing emoji in return and had to smile. "All right," he wrote. "Talk later."

I went into my meeting and was able to get my mind off Bryan's creamy smooth wrestler build and his cherry hole. Somehow.

I checked my messages after we wrapped up, before heading off to a business dinner. It was close to my hotel thankfully and these things never ran late. I hoped to see a message from Bryan, but there was nothing.

I did google some instructions for preparing to bottom. With the OnlyFans guys and my own son, that routine was down pat, but a newbie like Bryan could use some guidance, and I wanted the ease and comfort of topping a clean hole. I forwarded the site to Bryan.

I held off to one glass of wine during dinner. I wanted a clear head for later. By 7:40 I'd paid the check on my corporate card and bid good night to my client contacts. I had to laugh at myself by how excited I was to get back to my hotel. I did have time to stop at an office supply store and pick up a spare small camera. I figured this scene would be worth the extra vantage point.

Bryan texted when he was on his way. I stripped down from my business clothes and hung them up in the closet. I was rock hard already, and dripping in anticipation. I hadn't felt this excited since my last time with my son. I took a quick shower and put on the plush hotel robe, tying it to cover up my midsection.

I spent the rest of the time setting up the cameras. The lighting wasn't perfect but it was enough.

The knock made me realize I was a little nervous myself. I'd gotten comfortable doing porn, maybe a little too comfortable, but taking Bryan's cherry felt like a certain responsibility. I wanted it to be an incredible experience for him, and I was realizing I was totally green when it came to easing a guy out of his virginity.

Still, the sight of him made my heart beat. He was just so fucking cute and hunky. Particularly was we realized each other was nervous.

"Hey, Daddy," he said stepping in.

"Brad," I said. "You can call me Brad. Or Daddy," I smirked.

Our kiss was soft, surprisingly soft given the act we were about to do.

"You good for his, buddy?" I asked, running my hands along his outer arms.

He nodded. "I'm nervous as hell, but I'll be kicking myself if I don't do it."

"You feel like stripping down?" I asked. "There's a mask for you on the table."

I pulled mine on and then went around made sure all the cameras were on. I was pleased to see Bryan's naked body, that thick muscle lean and compact with just a dusting of hair. God, even with that build he looked every bit the 20 year old he was. Like I say, the real deal.

And I was doubly pleased to see him throwing hard. That thick five spike standing up from his lightly furred crotch, nerves notwithstanding. I watched him pull on his mask. It was a shame the viewers wouldn't see how cute he was but his body rounded out that college jock look for sure.

I pointed the camera at him. "So... we're about to have sex for a video that will be released through OnlyFans. Do you agree for me to share what I film?"

I half expected some questions, but he just nodded. "Yes."

"Good boy," I said with a laugh. That made Bryan chuckle, too, which made me glad. "Why don't you lie on the bed, face down?"

I could sense his nervousness. Maybe he anticipated face to face for his first time. "Don't worry buddy, I'll ease you into this."

He nodded silently and then complied, walking over to the hotel bed, while I filmed him with his natural jock gait. It was hot as fuck, seeing him strut and that ass of his work. Then his full body stretching out face down.

The other cameras would get a good angle - one angled on each side nightstand, the other from behind where I stood, just a little off to the side. I held the camera phone as I stepped closer, letting the camera rove over his strong back and amazing ass, up and down his legs. Maybe more jock-worship footage than we'd use, but Travis could work his magic.

Finally, I stepped back and propped the camera phone off to the side. maybe it would work for another angle. Bryan turned back to look at me, and I got off on how his back muscle flexed with his motion. Stepping up, I ran my hands along his calves, working up the length as I climbed on the bed.

I knew I'd be in good view of the cameras now as I kissed from one side of his hamstrings to the other knotted leg. I took my time working my way up.

Bryan was ready for the rim job now. Hiking his ass up, he parted his legs enough to let me in. My hands gripped his buns and did the rest.

The college kid's sigh was deep and sexual as I began licking. I wanted to put on a show. I loved rimming a guy and sometimes felt there was never enough of it in porn videos. It was always a quick lick before the top was lining up. I went full in now, eating out Bryan for a solid five to ten minutes, alternating speed and tonguework. Sometimes Bryan relaxed and let me do my magic, sometimes he bucked up against my face to maximize the contact.

I pulled back and with a hungry growl gave him a light pat. "Turn over," I urged in my deeper voice. Spittle wetted down the chin of my mask. I really wished he and I could do it without these, but the masks allowed us to fuck on camera, both of us.

I was amazed to see Bryan's prick hard and leaking clear sap everywhere. He was majorly turned on. I pulled up enough to let the cameras get a good view of his ripped, modestly jacked body.

"How many guys have fucked you?" I asked tersely. I sure hoped the "MaskedDaddy" voice was enough fo a disguise.

Bryan didn't change his voice, but his soft response was sexy as hell. "No one yet," he said.

I leaned in and kissed him. Just enough sexual urge, and enough romantic finesse. Bryan responded in turn, sucking my tongue into his mouth and moaning against me. He was nervous, sure, but also getting the case of the major horns.

I loved this, putting on a show and yet connecting one-to-one with this fine young man. I pulled up and muttered, "nice," patting his chest. I rolled off to the side and undid my robe. My hardon bounded out and both Bryan and the camera could see my exposed body with its blond fur. I pulled him to me and we started making out again.

Silently I guided him down and the kid knew what to do. Slowly he began kissing and worshipping my big prick, wetting it down with his tongue before taking me into his mouth. Practice hadn't made perfect, but he was getting much more accustomed to my size and better at blowing me.

I was determined not to get overheated. I just lay back and enjoyed this, the sensation of Bryan's soft, slow blowjob and the view of his nakedness kneeling in front of me in servicing position.

Soon, though, it was feeling too good. I nudged him off. He came up to meet me for a kiss, taking the initiative now, until I regained the upperhand in rolling him back on his back, with me on top. I could feel his hardon against mine and the warmth from his body.

Placing my mouth at his ear, I whispered, "You like being a porn star too, dont ya kiddo?"

"Yeah," he grunted back.

I knew I needed to be a little verbal with him. If the camera picked up my words, Travis could edit them out. "You're just about the hottest guy I've ever fucked, Bry."

His body actually shivered at that. The time seemed ripe. I lifted off and leaned over to pump out some lube.

He let out a hiss of air the second my greased fingers touched his pucker but he didn't flinch. Instead he spread his legs and looked into my eyes. This was gonna be good.

I pushed a digit in. Bryan was real fucking tight. But I worked him slowly. Back and forth, in and out.

"Another," I said curtly.

"God," he hissed as I penetrated him with two fingers. It wasn't bad-uncomfortable for him, but it was certainly unfamiliar to him. We stood still eyes locked, him lying back, me between his legs. Until I started finger fucking him again. I applied more lube and fingered him some more.

Finally I pulled back and removed my robe entirely, slipping it off my body and tossing it aside. Bryan's hands were on me, excited to feel up my DILF body. I let him. Between his attention and the cameras I was getting real excited. I was the one dripping now. I caught a thick thread of precum in my fingers and brought it down to his virgin hole. I fingered him up with that too.

The third finger was slow going, but I got him to relax.

"No rubber?" I have asked and half said.

"No sir," came his excited reply.

I was gonna get blue balls soon if I didn't fuck. I scooted up and pressed my prick head in place. I pressed super slow against his ring, working against the spit-slick tightness and smearing my precum against him.

I could feel Bryan's body shake beneath me, and he looked up, a real deer-in-the-headlights look in his eyes beneath the mask. I worried if I waited longer his nerves would get the best of him. I pushed in.

"UNNH!" he whimpered loudly. I felt bad the entry hurt and bad that he was doing his bravest to pretend it didn't.

"Easy, bud..." I hissed, reaching down to run my hands along his hot body. This fine young man was giving me a major gift. My prick jerked an inch or two inside him, feeling the tightness of his ass clamping down on him, as I held still, then gave the shallowest of thrusts, back and forth more than in and out.

I looked at him, trying to communicate silently. Then I leaned in, pushing his legs back with my body. "You're doing good," I said.

We kissed. My cock slipped out of its toe hold but I didn't care. He needed this, and I wanted it. This was about the only time I lost track of the cameras. When I wasn't putting on a show. I connected with this college kid in a deep, soulful kiss. And kissed him som more.

I pulled back. This time I didn't rush, but I didn't delay. I pushed back into him. Bryan somehow trusted me, because his ring gave way more easily. He was virgin tight a few inches inside, but I gently thrust back and forth, working that knot inside him. I pulled out and added more lube. Now showing off for Bryan and the cameras both. Then I placed his ankles on my shoulders.

"OOH FUCK!" Came his cry when I broke through. But he wasn't in pain, just overwhelmed by feelings he didn't have word for. I plowed all the way in and held it. I could see his muscular chest rise and fall, taking deep breaths.

"Got your cherry, kiddo," I hissed.

"Thank you," he actually replied, his voice heavy in emotion. That got me going. My dick felt like stone inside his warm, tight guts.

"Feel good buddy?" My hands massaged his calf muscle as I looked down on him and restrained myself from just plowing his hot ass.

Bryan nodded.

I pulled and out thrust in. Then again. I was fucking for real now. Bryan's first fuck. Maybe more than he bargained for when he came over the previous night. But I knew this was his deep fantasy and why he reached out to me.

I wasn't hard or rough, but I fucked with a steady determination. I wanted to give this kid the best first time experience possible now. I puffed my chest and used more of a swivel action of my hips, in and out, in and out, as my eyes stared down at him. I'd probably read his facial reactions better without the mask, but his eyes and mouth were enough. I was getting to him, hitting that spot.

I paused just a second and reached to pump out more lube. This went onto his prick. He gasped as I slicked him up then got the picture once I pulled my hand away.

I grabbed a pillow and slid it underneath his hips. It made for the perfect angle, and I took quick advantage, resuming my steady plow of Bryan's no-longer virgin hole.

Turns out his masturbation was just what Bryan needed, flipping the switch to full pleasure now.

"Yeah?" I asked. Fucking heavier now.

"Yesss," the college hunk hissed back. He was jerking faster now, not frantically but eagerly and in synch with the fuck.

I saw his pisslit dilate and a clear spurt fly out. Not his ejaculation yet, but the prelude.

"Fuck yes," I grunted, throwing my hips into harder pounding. I was getting close to the finish line, and I wanted to speed up to catch up with this stud.

My harder thrusts felt amazing giving how much his ass was clenching and releasing on my dick spasmodically. But it really made Bryan's prostate sing. His pale skin grew pink and flush and his wrestler muscle tensed up.

"Shit!" he yelled and timed with each shove his nuts gave it up, and his prick spurted heavy ropes of semen over his perfect body.

I went at it even harder, leaning in some, powering my hips in rapid jabs. I didn't say anything but my grunt was unmistakeable as I shoved in and unloaded. My cum threw off my rhythm, but I held deep a second, then my hips jerked involuntarily for another hard shove to discharge my seed deep inside Bryan.

The kid winced at that one, which made me feel bad. I got myself under control and held myself steady, gently massaging his leg and then easing back. He'd been a trooper but now needed a break. I leaned back and showed off my slickened dong, though most viewers eyes would probably be on the cum-covered collegiate muscle of my bottom.

Leaning over I picked up one of the cameras. Time for the money shot.

Even if Bryan wasn't an experienced bottom, he'd watched enough porn to know what I was after. Rather than drop his legs down, he pulled them back, spreading them enough to show me and the camera his fucked and seeded hole. No longer drum tight, it has a slight gape and was thick with my cum. I'd shot a lot.

I got a good shot of it, then angled the camera up to capture his whole ripped and cum-wet body. Nothing would ever top watching my own son in porn, but Bryan was a close second.

I finally set down the phone and pulled off my mask. That was the cue Bryan was waiting for and he eagerly peeled his off.

"You OK, buddy?" I asked. My normal voice returning.

He nodded. "God yeah. I'm so glad we did that."

I gave a sly nod to the camera. "Your first time's preserved as a memento," I said. A little teasing in my voice, but checking in where his head was.

He smiled and god he was so fucking cute with that pearly white smile. "I didn't think I was gonna enjoy it at first," he admitted. "But damn..."

I ran my fingers through the cum that had turned liquidy on his chest. "You shot like gangbusters," I said.

"My cums are pretty big normally," he said. "But your dick did something inside me that made me go wild. I've never felt anything like that."

"I'm glad," I said. I leaned forward for another kiss, this one tantalizingly soft and slow.

Afterward, I let Bryan get up and shower off while I checked my phone. Then I figured I'd join him. The look on his face told me my presence was quite welcome.

"Hey," he grinned, shyly. God, he was star struck and that made me feel like a real stud.

"Hey," I said. Our wet bodies connected and we took the time to soap each other down.

"You married to a man or a woman?" he asked as he nodded to my gold band.

"A woman," I said. "I'm not the best husband."

He gave a nod of acknowledgment. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad you share yourself."

"I have news for you kiddo," I said, turning off the water and running my hands over his wet muscled body. "You've shared yourself now, too."

"Still can't believe it," he said. "When will you post it?"

"In a couple of weeks," I said. I wasn't going to bring up Travis or my process for putting the vid together.

His hands reached up to feel my body too, my chest but also my shoulders and arms.

"I'm hard again," Bryan said. "I can't believe it."

"You're 20," I joked. "It happens."

"Yeah," he laughed.

I patted his arm. "Feel like sleeping over?" I asked. "I have a morning flight to catch but you're welcome to stay."

He nodded, like an eager puppy. We dried off and made our way back into the room. I downed a bottled water to rehydrate and tossed him one. "Remind me to tip housekeeping extra," I said as I pulled down the sheets. "We made a fucking mess."

He slipped into the bed next to me. His body was cooler now, and felt great against my warmer bod. We made out. His dick was a spike and I got hard once more, but I wasn't eager for another fuck. And Bryan seemed to go with the flow.

"So..." I finally said. "No longer a virgin..."

"No sir."

"Any regrets?" I asked, leaning back in the bed against the headboard, pulling my hands behind me. Bryan nestled in, resting his head against my upper chest and running his hands along my fur.

"None. It was hot as fuck," he said. "But even if it hadn't been, I just feel relieved, you know?"

"Not exactly," I smiled knowingly.

"Ha," he said, picking up on my meaning. "I'm surprised your so good at breaking a guy in if you're cherry too."

"I'd like to say I had some secret," I admitted, "But I just did what felt right."

Maybe it was the sex. I mean it was getting late, but not that late. Bryan was dozing some as he rested up against me. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Ready for bed, kiddo?" I asked.

"Yeah, Brad," he said and rolled off to the side.

***

My son did his magic crafting two separate scenes from the footage with Bryan, as well as a very hot teaser. "Taking College Jock's Cherry" was the title of the second. The on-screen chemistry was real, and it was clear that we weren't faking it. I really did take the young dude's virginity on screen.

"God, Dad, this is fucking incredible," Travis said to me on the phone before he posted the scene. "I've shot three times to it."

I smiled. I was in a semi-public place and had to be a little discrete. "I'm very glad to hear that," I smirked. "A little payback to the one you did the other week."

"Bud and Spike?" he asked.

That one was one was OK, but not my favorite. "No, the other one," I said, cagily.

That got a laugh from Trav. "Oh, MiamiMuscles... dude's a crazy power bottom, right?"

"Yeah," I said, my throat getting hoarse with lust I was trying to hide. "I like watching you in action like that."

Travis picked up on my need to be discreet, though he had no constraints on his end. "You prefer watching me fuck, Dad?"

God, my son knew how to drive me crazy. "I do," I admitted.

I detected a hesitation on his end, which wasn't Travis's normal response to anything. He paused. "Dad... you ever think about, you know, me fucking you?"

Just hearing those words were going make me go from chubbed to boned. "It's a little scary to think about," I replied. "But yeah... I do."

"Oh fuck," Travis hissed. Only then did I realize he'd been dreaming of that very act. Topping me. Taking my anal cherry, like I'd done with that Denver kid. It surprised me actually, given our bedroom chemistry with my son bottoming for me, eager for his dad's cock. "We'll talk about it next time, OK?" he said. Not pressuring me but letting me know this was on his mind.

"Yeah," I said. "I'll probably chicken out, son. But I wanna explore the idea." I was nervous just vocalizing this.

"Sure, Dad," Trav said. "God you know I love everything we'd done together. If I were there right now, I'd suck your cock, you know that." My son was getting into deep lust mode now.

"Fuck, Trav, I should probably go," I said. I knew if I kept talking like this, I'd get in trouble. "Later, son?"

"Yeah, Dad," he replied, his voice rich with lust. I knew he was probably going to jack off when I hung up. I was going to find the time myself at the first chance. Pull up one of Travis's videos where he topped and stroke off imagining him pounding me, too.

****

My Denver videos were popular. I wasn't surprised that my fans responded to the realness of them, but I was surprised by the messages I got. They changed my porn career and it's probably not an overstatement to say they changed my life.

The first one came two weeks after the video with Bryan dropped.

"Dear MaskedDaddy, I loved your latest video. God, it's like my deepest fantasy. I'm 23 and live in DC. I don't have that college jock's bod, but I'm working on it. I've been too scared to let a guy fuck me, but if you want to be my first, I'd love to star in one of your vids. I wouldn't even need a mask."

It was a wild email, and I figured the kid's horniness doing the thinking for him. I pawed my crotch and laughed at how forward the offer was. I started to send a polite thanks but no thanks reply.

But then I thought about it, and I figured what the hell. I asked for the young dude's pictures. He was cute as fuck. Not quite as twunky as Bryan but still good looking, kind of that boy-next-door type.

Travis handled the OnlyFans money my site brought in. I didn't do porn for the money, and in any case I didn't want my finances impacted lest Kate find out.

I sent two more texts that night. One to DC guy. "If you're serious, lets plan for something three weeks from now." I knew I had some work travel on the East Coast I could piggy back on.

My other I sent to Trav. "I need your help arranging a DC visit. Gonna pop another dude's cherry."

#drakestories

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