#because otherwise she’s just not particularly kind to him because she doesn’t trust him enough to let him in

[boltgunkiller-archive]

i love blaintana as a friend duo so much.. it’s not really shown in canon but damn 🤭 i srsly can’t get enough of them being friends who just do not get along but do not play about each other

#santana getting sebastian to confess just for blaine? yeah. yeah that kind of thing #because otherwise she’s just not particularly kind to him because she doesn’t trust him enough to let him in #but seriously do not fuck with him or you’ll be fucking with her thank you #gleeposting

[crestfallercanyon]

Because I can’t sleep, I’m gonna write some glader safe haven sleeping headcanons because why the heck not?

Thomas

The most gd annoying sleeper to ever exist — The boy kicks, talks in his sleep, thrashes

But it’s kind of a fitful sleep that evokes pity when the surrounding people are done being agitated with him

His rest does get better with other people around to sleep in the same bed as him — if they can stand to sleep in the same bed as him for long enough to get through the initial kicks.

Waking from a nightmare he’s less likely to lash out and more likely to gasp and have a hard time catching his breath

Dreams in other languages sometimes.

After very long days, he sleeps like he’s died and can sleep on almost any surface (which freaks Minho out the most who will prod him awake).

Night owl.

Minho

A light sleeper. Always, even when exhausted.

Because he’s a runner, his heartrate gets freaky low at rest

Stomach or back sleeper, typically, in the starfish position or very locked in.

If another person is in bed with him, he likes full contact or none at all — he’s either on top of, beneath, or wrapped around the person, or they are not touching at all and he has his back to them.

Dreams in black and white, and most of the time in other languages

His legs twitch in his sleep from aches and pains

Will not respond well if woken up rudely, and is definitely the type to lash out after a nightmare.

Runs hot but is oddly often very cold, it’s why he occasionally wouldn’t mind people sleeping with him to help his body temperature even out.

More productive in morning/daytime, so an early riser, but if he had a vacation he would probably both be the last one awake and the first one asleep.

Newt

If there’s a princess and the pea of the gladers, it’s probably Newt; he and his preferred cot with his preferred arrangement and gets pretty bitchy if someone takes or messes with them

Snores when really deep sleep, but otherwise just kind of breathes heavy in a comforting way

Cannot lucid dream but knows how to wake himself up from a nightmare and shake it off.

He is the type to just have a hand thrown over the other person in bed with him

(he will also pat the bed or leave his hand in the empty space if someone leaves while he’s asleep).

Is one of the best roommates (particularly for people with strange sleeping habits) because he’s the least bothered with getting woken up, but is highly selective of who he will share a bed with.

More night owl tendencies but doesn’t hate mornings. Can be an early riser if needed with little complaint.

Teresa

Can lucid dream, and often has very strange dreams and likes their creative bounds.

Sleeps curled up on the edge of the bed.

Has a nighttime routine that always will put her to sleep, but will ignore/intentionally not do it because of work, in which she will struggle to sleep at all because her mind keeps working.

Always cold. Needs all the blankets.

Prefers to sleep alone unless she deeply trusts the other person in the room/bed with her.

Once comfortability is established, she is the type of person to put her cold feet on the center of someone’s warm back or underneath them.

Likes when people play with her hair while she drifts to sleep.

Night owl, productive at night.

Gally

Can sleep on any surface but prefers a blanket to tuck into. If really tired he can lose the blanket but will sleep much worse.

Doesn’t dream much. It’s not usually good thing if he can remember a dream.

He doesn’t move much in his sleep — in fact, he usually wakes in the exact same position he went to sleep in.

Clings. Whether it be to a blanket or someone’s shirt, his hands tend to grab at the nearest soft thing and don’t let go (and he’s very embarrassed about it, shut the fuck up and don’t mention it).

Has looks that could kill when woken up. Doesn’t usually respond, just glares.

Wakes abruptly on his own. Goes from deep sleep to eyes open in a breath. Startling for other bed partners.

Early riser. Unless it’s a special night, he prefers to go to bed early.

Alby

By the way he sleeps, it’s pretty obvious why he never seems very rested — and why he can go from calm and collected to emotionally overburdened in a snap.

He’s not a thrasher, but he will sleepwalk, at times sleep talks, sleep apnea; he’s got all the stress-induced sleep habits unfortunately

If someone decides they’re going to share a bed with him they better do so for life because he’s not very good with adapting to changes in weight on the bed or anything.

Is the type to check in with his partner while they sleep together — pats, reaching out and grabbing, running a hand through their hair.

Shouts from nightmares. Sleep paralysis. Wakes up a lot at night.

Doesn’t mind being woken up.

Would probably benefit from melatonin supplements (but is also the type of person who would hate over-the-counter drugs for himself).

Prefers to be the first one awake and the last one asleep (can be coaxed into going to bed at a reasonable time by the right people [Newt])

Frypan

Definitely a sleep talker, but, the fun kind. When the Gladers tell him what he said in the morning he laughs.

Runs warm

Tends to toss and turn in the beginning but evens out over time. Deep sleep will lead to sleep-hums sometimes.

The coziest of the gladers, down to cuddle, is happy to be a comforting presence for people to sleep with.

His nightmares tend to really freak him out, and they tend to linger the whole day (they tend to be realistic — and as Fry is a little superstitious, he gets nervous that they’re somehow omens, but is afraid to say so because he thinks it sounds stupid).

Most of the time though his dreams are just wild and fun.

Not a fan of being woken up! He’s just grouchy about it, and will hold a grudge in this matter.

Is the admirable (and annoying) type of person who loves mornings and also adores nights. He’s just got energy (or makes himself have it for others because he likes being perceived as naturally positive)

Chuck

Snores. So loud. Frick how can a kid that young have that loud a snore.

Bit of a kicker. Moves around a lot.

Sleeps tucked in and hugging himself. Pillow often ends up over his face.

Nightmares tend to be outlandish and very creative, and he likes using them as bonfire stories with some refining. They are genuinely scary but Chuck is actually pretty unaffected by them after the night is done.

Prefers having roommates. Doesn’t like the idea of sleeping alone. Likes feeling like he’s surrounded by siblings and family.

Definitely was the type of kid to have secret conversations into late at night, even if it meant a groggy morning.

Is a night owl when he’s young. As he gets older that might change.

#nerdy headcanons #headcanons #the maze runner #tmr #tmr gally #tmr thomas #tmr minho #tmr teresa #tmr alby #tmr newt #tmr frypan #tmr chuck

[jacquelinemerritt]

Aladdin, and changing the expectations of the Disney Renaissance

Originally posted September 27th, 2014

And now, to appease the Robin Williams fandom. And piss off the Aladdin fandom. I’m going to enjoy this week.

See, Aladdin is not a great film. It’s an entertaining animated spectacle, and it touches on all those little feel good notes a (Hollywood) film is supposed to touch on, but it doesn’t do anything particularly new or particularly well. There is only one aspect of this film that I would qualify as “great,” and that would be Robin William’s performance. But I’ll get into that soon enough.

Aladdin

Aladdin was the most successful animated film of all time at its release. It received critical praise, and was the highest grossing animated film of all time until The Lion King’s release. it also marked a departure from the storytelling precedent set by the previous two films of The Disney Renaissance, as I’ve mentioned before. That departure is the reason that I love this film; if Aladdin had not deviated from the precedent set by The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, we wouldn’t have gotten The Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Tarzan, which all ultimately told much more interesting stories than these first three films of the Renaissance.

Also, no, this week I am not comparing Aladdin to The Prince of Egypt. I’ll be back to that format when I do Mulan two weeks from now. I needed a break from talking about the same thing four weeks in a row.

Characters and Characterization

Aladdin is not a bad character. Neither is Jasmine. Or Jafar. Or Iago. Or the Sultan. But all of these characters are simple. They have no real complexity (Genie is the only character with a unique and interesting character arc).

Let’s look at Aladdin. He’s a dashing rogue with a heart of gold. But without any of the interesting roguish characteristics. He is a sanitized Byronic Hero, who has had every aspect of his life’s struggle (in this case, poverty) watered down so that he is completely unoffensive.

Jasmine fares a little better than Aladdin. She has a number of interesting tropes that apply to her, but she’s ultimately defined by two things: her unwillingness to conform to her father and society’s expectations about marriage, and her romance with Aladdin. She’s still better than anyone but Genie though, since she plays a much more proactive role than even our title character (because while Jasmine’s actions spur the plot along, Aladdin’s actions are primarily reactions to her actions, Jafar’s actions, and Genie’s actions).

Jafar is also better than Aladdin for the same reason: his actions and decisions work to drive the plot forward. Jafar is still simple though; he wants (unlimited) power for no reason other than self-entitlement, and he wants Jasmine (primarily as a path to gaining that power).

Iago works well enough, primarily because his job is to provide comic relief. Gilbert Gottfried does this very well (though the show in this category is once again stolen by Genie), and despite Iago’s lack of agency, watching his reactions to the events of the film is entertaining.

The Sultan is just bad. He’s a complete idiot. He doesn’t know how to relate to his daughter, he hasn’t dealt with the clearly major poverty in his kingdom, and he trusts Jafar (maybe chalk that up to Jafar’s magic, but honestly, it seems like the kind of power that only works on the weak minded (otherwise why would Jafar disguise himself to convince Aladdin to go to the Cave of Wonders, or convince Jasmine to marry him by hypnotizing the Sultan?)). He’s also primarily reactive (and even then his actions are almost worthless), and we never see the Sultan do anything to take control of his kingdom, or try to understand Jasmine better. I really don’t like this character, if you couldn’t tell.

All that said, the Genie is perfect. Robin Williams plays this hilarious, pop culturally relevant deity trapped in eternal servitude to whomever happens upon his “itty bitty living space.” The charisma that Williams brings to the Genie is astounding. Through this character we see a complex look at immortality, omnipotence, and the nature of forced servitude.

The brilliance of that introduction cannot be put into words. Robin Williams brings his A-game, and we get to meet one of the most lovable characters in any animated film.

If only the other characters came even a little close to his brilliance, this would be a much better film.

I’m not bashing any of the other actors though. This is an issue I have primarily with the writing. Linda Larkin, Scott Weinger, and Jonathan Freeman all do solid jobs as Jasmine, Aladdin, and Jafar, respectively. Even Douglas Seale manages to make the Sultan’s foolishness tolerable by playing up the “loveable oaf” side of his character. But the issues with these characters start with their almost total lack of agency.

“But [Jacqueline], doesn’t the Genie also have a lack of agency, since he is bound to only do whatever his master wishes?”

Yes. He is. And that is brilliant.

Themes

The strongest theme of the film is the dichotomy between power and agency. And this theme is pulled off perfectly by Genie’s arc.

Genie begins as an omnipotent deity unable to use any of his power for himself. Since (we can assume) the beginning of time, he has only been allowed to use his power to grant the wishes of his masters. As he mentions, the only way for him to gain his freedom is for his master to wish for it, which has clearly never happened.

Genie’s lack of agency doesn’t bring him down though. He’s still incredibly upbeat and energetic, and does everything he can to make his master happy (probably as an effort to get them to empathize with him, and increase his chances of being released). And this time, it works. By treating Aladdin as a friend, and not just a master, Genie is able to convince Aladdin to grant him freedom at the end of the film. He finally gains agency of his own, and is able to live out the rest of eternity as a free deity.

This theme is executed phenomenally in the character of Genie. But it is missing, and fundamentally flawed in regards to almost every other character. The Sultan never uses either his power or agency in any way. Iago has absolutely no power or agency. Aladdin, having very little power or agency, only ever uses either to react to the situations other characters put him in. And Jafar wields a ridiculous amount of both magical and political power, while having nearly unlimited agency.

The only character whose arc builds off this theme in any way is Jasmine. Jasmine has a good bit of agency, but very little power. The expectations of both her father and society keep her locked in the palace, with her only visitors being potential suitors, her father, and Jafar. She, however, gets the final say on whether a suitor is acceptable or not, and after seeing a particularly pathetic suitor, she decides that she doesn’t want to be locked in the palace anymore. So she leaves.

She’s ultimately brought back to the castle, but even that is her own decision, since she only reveals herself to the guards when they arrest Aladdin. Unfortunately, after that point in the story, Jasmine has most of her agency removed. The closest she comes to regaining it is when she acts as if Genie had made her fall in love with Jafar in order to distract him, but because the rest of the film focuses on the love story between her and Aladdin, we don’t get to see this theme further developed with her.

Animation

This is a Disney Animated Feature. So it looks great. And the fact that it’s animation means that Genie’s magic is able to look as grand as possible.

I feel like that scene speaks for itself.

Music

I hate A Whole New World.

So. Goddamn. Much.

Sure, it accomplishes it’s purpose. It lets us take the place of Jasmine and join her on a magic carpet ride around the world. And as a result, we’re supposed to fall in love with Aladdin right along with her, since he took us on this adventure.

But the purpose of the song works contrary to the best theme of the film. It forces Jasmine to give up her agency so that she can be swept off her feet by this wonderful prince, when earlier, her agency was central to her falling in love with this street rat, and him falling in love with her. Sure, Aladdin saved her in the market, but Jasmine paid him back quickly by appealing to her father when he was captured. Even though she was powerless to do anything, her agency in trying to save him was crucial in establishing her feelings for him. And this song takes it away so we can go on a cheap thrill ride meant as the Grand Romantic Gesture that inevitably wins Jasmine over (my hatred for the Grand Romantic Gesture is a topic for another post, however).

Other than that song, no complaints. The music is used to great effect to sell the grandiosity of the tale and of Genie’s magic. See the video above for the perfect example.

The Verdict

This film deserves praise for securing the legacy of the Disney Renaissance. It was Aladdin’s success that allowed the Renaissance to continue for years afterwards, giving us some truly amazing animated films.

But that doesn’t remove the fundamental flaws of Aladdin. It’s two-bit characters and lack of dedication to it’s best theme are sins that I cannot forgive. Despite that, I still love watching this movie, and singing along with its (mostly) perfect soundtrack.

And I’ll never forget Genie, either.

Next week, I’ll be taking a break from the Disney Renaissance in order to do a collaborative post with a fellow film critic. Our topic will be The Greatest Western of All Time. And I will be arguing in favor of No Country for Old Men, the best film I have ever seen.

If you liked this, consider supporting me on Patreon, or donating to my Ko-Fi.

#disney #disney renaissance #aladdin #film criticism #robin williams #jasmine #disney princess #gilbert gottfried #sep 27 2014 #god okay #where to begin with this one #obviously i have to start with the wildly unnecessary hot takes #because aladdin is not a bad movie #it's a pretty good movie #and i rather like it #also my analysis here is just missing so much #like i think i do a decent job conveying the themes of genie's story #and how it is an exploration of agency #but then not even think about how jasmine is a character will a lot of power but limited agency #and aladdin is a character with no power but a lot of agency #who can explore the world and act as he pleases #something amplified when he runs into Genie #a character with unlimited power and absolutely no agency #and how transforming aladdin into prince ali increases his power #but fundamentally decreases his agency #there is clearly a lot to dig into here and i just dropped the ball big time

[drawingale]

Aeria Gush Post 5

Usual warning: This is going to be a long post with some spoilerly content.    If y’all just want to read it, here’s the link>>> https://globalcomix.com/c/aeria It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, so I felt it was time to cover Episode 5, “Against Time”, of my webcomic Aeria. 💙 Episode 5 Part 1  The spy turns out to be none other than Mira’s best friend Erica. Sylvia Rose’s Academy is up to a lot of shady stuff and that includes running a program for turning kids into spies/intelligence collectors.

However, Erica has grown up around Mira and knows what kind of person she is. She has a hard time deciding whether she should report her best friend as the alien the government is looking for, or, find a way to help her best friend out of the tricky situation.

Erica doesn’t get a chance to make the choice because Nathan is sneaking around again and happens to see Mira and Cal leave as well. He confronts Erica about her lack of loyalty to the human race, but Erica argues that she’s their best friend triggering a flashback.

💙 Episode 5 Part 2 In the flashback, we see Erica and Mira as middle schoolers. I liked this episode particularly because I wanted to elude to Erica’s past friendship with Suzie, Chrissy, and Tanzie before she befriended Mira, which is in part (in the future) of what causes Chrissy to dislike Mira so much. I also sprinkled in what happened to Mira’s mother with the children’s gossip. 

💙 Episode 5 Part 2 While everyone is making fun of the weird new girl, Erica goes over and introduces herself to Mira. She sees Mira’s sketch book and asks about the drawing- the cat is Noe, a pet from when Mira lived on Ailithyia. But here, Mira doesn’t remember the importance he has to her. However, through re-telling the memory to Nathan, Erica has stalled time for Mira and Cal to escape. She hopes that the small bit of time is enough to help her best friend and laments that she couldn’t do more.

💙 Episode 5 Part 3 Backing up time to a few minutes before Erica ran outside, Cal and Mira are in the middle of escaping Sylvia Rose’s. This was also my excuse to draw Cal holding Mira bridal style. Mira is concerned with how they are going to get down, but Cal insists they are not climbing and to trust him.

💙 Episode 5 Part 3 As it turns out, the Iylven are hiding more secrets. Not only can they use magic, but they have wings they can summon at will. Unfortunately, Mira has a fear of heights, so she ends up keeping her eyes closed for most of the trip much to the confusion of Cal.

💙 Episode 5 Part 4 After vacating to the school’s nature preserve park at the back of campus, Cal and Mira wait for his friends to arrive. Mira is formally introduced to Aaron and Via. Aaron is a bit of a himbo and a huge flirt, meanwhile Via is the level-headed tsundere of the group.

💙 Episode 5 Part 4 Aaron is a very extroverted person who acts very familiar around everyone. Mira is not used to his very bold approach. The boys soon begin to argue about who will be allowed to carry Mira while Via is fed up with the situation completely. Via acts very cold towards Mira and, at the very start, tries to speak in Ailithyian to Cal about her, but Cal quickly cuts her off by saying she can speak English in front of Mira since she deserves to know what is going to happen to her.

💙 Episode 5 Part 5 The boys agree to take turns carrying her and Aaron quickly scoops Mira up. Otherwise known as another excuse to draw a character carrying Mira bridal style. He takes to the air immediately, causing Cal and Via to scramble after him. When Aaron realizes that Mira is afraid of heights, he teases her relentlessly about it; how can she be afraid when she’s originally Iylven? She has her own wings? Although, I guess Cal could carry her -and such taunts that make Mira blush.

💙 Episode 5 Part 6 On the flight to New York, the group is ambushed by three strangers dressed in black uniforms. This is our first introduction to the triplets, which we’ll learn about more in season 2. For now, they are Aposaarians that have come to kidnap Mira. Each brother specializes in a different element. Timas (violet hair) is sun-energy, Tierro (red hair) is fire, and Tielk (dark violet) is ice. The magic system is more developed in season 2 (as Mira learns, so does the reader). For season 1, I wanted the reader to be at the same level as Mira- they have very little knowledge.

💙 Episode 5 Part 6 During the attack, Aaron drops Mira. Via is being held back by one of the triplets. The only one who can possibly save her is Cal, but he is experiencing a ptsd flashback. He sees Mira falling the same way she did when she was younger.

And that’s where I leave Episode 5 off at. Mira has left Sylvia Rose’s and is venturing to New York City with Cal, Aaron, and Via. Both the government faction- Nathan and Erica- and the Aposaarian faction- the triplets- have tried to get Mira because of her royal blood and potent magic which still lays dormant. Now that Mira’s life is on the line, who will save her? Cal or herself? If you want to read ahead, check out my comic:   https://globalcomix.com/c/aeria I’ll continue to make more parts covering each chapter of my comic. Season 1 is ten chapters, so we still have five more chapters of content to cover~ Thanks for reading and have a lovely day 💙  

#globalcomix #aeria #aeria gush #sci fi comic #fantasy comic

[bxttenbound]

@fizzarolli​ asked: ❓

Send ❓  and my muse will answer all questions honestly.

Does my muse trust yours?  

“ No. It takes more than a good joke and a laugh to earn my trust. “

She is not trustful of many people, even her partners she doesn’t 100% trust, not even Duke at times due to her instability. She trusts him to entertain and tell a good joke, that’s about it

Does my muse dislike yours?

“ Not particularly, I have no reason to truly dislike jesters. I am very partial to them if anything. “

Missi truthfully is pretty neutral when it comes to Fizz. She doesn’t dislike him nor does she particularly like him either. He’s a jester to her and as such his playful banter and even meanspirited things she doesn’t take seriously or brushes them off as being what he is. Even then, she knows he wouldn’t step too far.

Would my muse kill someone for yours?

“ As if I need an excuse to kill someone. “

Yeah, depends on who it is? Though it’s less because Fizz would want it and more ‘hey i have an excuse to kill and nothing else better to do.’. Especially if it’s a sinner she would jump on board with it because she *loves* torturing sinners.

Would my muse kill your muse?

“ No. He is valuable to the hiearchy of Hell, and I’d hate to cause a royal issue so early on. If the Price of Lust cares for him so be it, just as I care for my own personal jester. “

Naw, Missi isn’t that heartless. Especially if she knows about Fizz and Ozzy she wouldn’t interfere with seriously injury or maiming them even if they can be rebuilt or fixed. Besides, if she ever wanted to she could just get a Robo-version and it basically be similar enough lol

Would my muse save yours?

“ If it was at no risk to me, and not too out of my way? Sure. As I’ve said, I can relate with the Price of Lust and his little pets. I would hardly want to stand by if it was easy for me to do something of it. Otherwise, I’m sure Asmodeus could handle it themselves. “

Sorta? So if like, they were in trouble and missi *happened* to be by, she might, especially if she thinks it could be used to get in Ozzy’s good graces. But if she has to exert energy or do more to do so, then no. Mostly because she believes if she has to go do effort for something then it’s a big enough issue that Ozzy should or would get involved

Does my muse find your muse attractive?

“ Darling I can’t even tell which parts of you are you to distinguish that. “

This is just a huge question mark???? Knowing he isn’t completely robotic, she isn’t particularly attracted to the mechanical parts, but she doesn’t know or see enough to know what parts of him are him to determine if he’s attractive since she is very much the type of ‘your augmentations are not what makes you beautiful’ kind of person. (yes she is a hypocrite because she will never show people what she really looks like and does think she looked hella ugly as a human)

Is my muse disgusted by yours?

“ Why would I be? He hasn’t given me a reason to be. “

No. As Missi said there’s no reason to be? He hasn’t done anything she’s seen that would make her disgusted by him.

would my muse go on a date with your muse?  

“ Date? Not particularly, but if they are ever curious about Earthly circuses to get some new material from the monsters and creatures that live here I would not be against showing him and Asmodeus the Cirque De Ziac. They have the most entertaining performers and the ringmaster is quite the catch. “

Date? No. Playdate? Sure. Both of them hang out while Ozzy and Duke fuck

would my muse kiss yours?  

“ Perhaps if he’s a good boy he can earn some favor. “

Nothing more than a kiss on the cheek as a reward, and even then that’s pushing it hfkjewhkw.

would my muse betray yours?  

“ Betray what? Our vague acquaintanceship? “

No. She doesn’t see a reason that would benefit her in doing so? Plus they aren’t really friends much less anything so she can’t really “betray” something that doesn’t rlly exist lol

my muse’s favorite thing about yours is their Sense of Humor

the thing my muse dislikes about yours is Being too Judgmental

#Fizzarolli #Delicious Knowledge // IC #One Hell of a Time // HH

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: 😳

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

#lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu x reader #donna beneviento x reader #salvatore moreau x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #resident evil village #re8 #resident evil 8 #resident evil #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #angie beneviento #karl heisenberg #angie the doll #swearing #insults

[miekasa]

Things the aot characters would match with u ?

Eren

Sneakers. It makes him somewhat giddy when you guys wear them at the same time, particularly if it was unplanned. 

He just thinks they look nice, and it’s something that you guys can match with that doesn’t look completely obvious or cringe. You can wear them at the same time or on your own, but for Eren it’s really just knowing that you’re wearing something he bought you.

Not matching matching per se, but one of my favorite things to think about is Eren having his key necklace, and buying you one with a lock on it. Again, matching but not over the top.

Jean

Maybe simple jewelry? Like plain, gold or silver bracelets/rings—nothing too much, but you guys still know it’s there. Watches might be a bigger splurge, but he’s willing to do it, especially if they’re nice and classy.

Once he knows you’re okay with jewelry, you’ve gotta be careful with him. He’ll ice you out if you don’t stop him. He has a sorta refined taste where you’ll get something, and think “Hey, this is really nice,” and then boom, the price tag could pay for your courses for a semester. 

Other little things like matching/coordinating phone cases, you guys each having mugs from the same place, even little charms on your keychains that match together.

Water bottles. This was more so him buying you one (and yes, it was an overpriced Hydroflask) to make sure you’re drinking enough water. If you don’t think he’ll force feed it to you if he notices that your bottle is heavy, then you thought wrong.

Levi

Lots of the things are pretty practical, and are the result of Levi buying it for you because he thought you needed it, or needed a better version of it; so, in a way, it’s not intended to match, but because he buys what he already has and knows works, you end up with a copy, so inadvertent matching 😌

For example, he’ll buy you mittens or gloves if you don’t have any, or if he thinks the ones you have are shit and need better insulation. They happen to be the same ones he has because he knows those work, so now you’re matching. Same goes for things like lunch boxes, water bottles, even the towels in your apartment.

Plants. Again, he probably intervened saying you need some source of fresh air in your house, or something smart like that. If you don’t have a green thumb, don’t worry because he’s practically taking care of it for you. Occasionally he’ll note how your plant is doing in comparison to his and it’s pretty cute to hear his little plant parent rambles while he’s watering them.

Matching aprons. It’s cute, don’t let him tell you otherwise; and if he does, you know he’s fronting, because he always wears his when he’s cooking, anyway.

Connie

Tattoos if you’re down for it. It can be as simple or stupid or extravagant as you want, you honestly have full control over the design even tho it’s going on his body please. He doesn’t care—he trusts you, and he wants to match with you, so whatever you want, wherever you want it!

Sneakers for him too, but I think he’d go as far as to have matching/coordinating outfits with you. Particularly sweats and crew necks and hoodies, and if you guys are traveling together, then you’re more than likely matching at the airport.

He probably put some stupid sticker or decal on your car that you’re stuck with now. Good luck. He put the same shit on his so at least you can look dumb together.

Armin

Stickers, whether it be on your laptop or phone case or water bottle or even just in your room; he’s got one and you’ve got one.

Stuffed animals. He has a lot that he just buys for you, but you guys go on a Build-a-Bear date and make bears of each other at some point, and it’s kinda cute. He keeps his on a shelf close to his bed so it’s safe and sound.

Stationary, like pencil cases and pens and such. They don’t have to be fancy with your initials engraved at the top, but you guys buy them in sets of 2 so you have the same stuff, and get cases to store everything that match, too.

Porco

Something cute that you put in his car that he doesn’t have the heart to remove, no matter how much he bitches about it. Like those little sticky rubber ducks with the glasses that go on your dash.

Gym bags. Yes, he’s a gym bro. No, he doesn’t care if you’re not. Allegedly they were “two for one” at the Adidas outlet, so now you’ve got one. It can double as a duffle bag if you’re not getting any practical gym use of it. 

You could probably get him to wear matching rings as long as they’re not too obvious; just a simple gold band is really the furthest he’ll go (he never takes it off, but don’t point it out or he’ll chuck it at you).

Mikasa

Some kind of accessory—bracelets, hats, necklaces, scarves. She’s into that kinda stuff, just don’t make a big deal of it when you’re in public or she’ll get embarrassed please.

Pins. You’ve got one on your jacket and she’s got one on her book bag or something. Again, they don’t have to be identical; you can get two different Pokémon, or references to a show you both like.

Lipstick. You don’t have to both wear it at the same time, but it’s still something sweet to have.

Sasha

Charm bracelets! The charms themselves don’t all have to be identical (tho at least one of them would be), but just the fact that you guys both have them and are collecting charms at a similar rate is cute.

Definitely matching cups or mugs or something of the like. Kitchen towels with the same pattern or each other’s initials on them. Matching shot glasses, too, obviously. 

Your home/lock screens match, too. Pictures of each other from the same day or of the same scenery or something. She always lets you know when she’s gonna change hers so you can change yours too.

Annie

Hoodies. They can be solid colored, or two if the same ones just in different colors. Hoodies are kind of her go-to look, and nothing that draw too much attention anyways; so she doesn’t mind having the same one as you.

Backpacks. Again, they don’t have to be exactly the same and can be relatively simple in design; and is something most people have anyway, so it’s not outlandish. She seems like a Kanken kinda girl, so you both can have one in different colors.

Pieck

Jewelry. Strikes me as the type to be okay with getting each other’s initials on necklaces or earrings or something, but it could also be more covert like having each other’s birthstones on a pendant.

Speaking of stones, you’re getting crystals whether you like it or not. They will be on your nightstand, they will be in your car, they will be in your jacket pocket, they might even be in your bra and don’t ask her how she got them there without you knowing. They’re in hers too if that makes you feel any better.

Hange

Jackets or sweaters. Wanna say matching cardigans in particular, and yeah, they’re pretty ugly but that’s the point! To bask ironically in the pointed ugliness of them all so much that it becomes cute to you.

Snow globes. Hange is obsessed with them, whenever you travel they collect one and sometimes even if they just pass a store at home and see two unique (translation: weird looking) ones, they’ll pick them up. So, congrats.

Socks with funky patterns on them. Beer bottles, weed plants, zodiac signs, dinosaurs—whatever Hange buys, they buy in packs of two so at least you’ll never run out of ankle socks.

#anonymous #aot x reader #eren x reader #levi x reader #levi fluff #jean x reader #porco galliard x reader #connie springer x reader #that's enough bye #nan*mi would have matching aprons n oven gloves too but i dont wanna think about that man alright #minicanons

[the-hidden-pages]

Let Me Worship You: Part 1 - Zemo x Fem!Reader

The fact that this man is the one who dragged me out of my refusing-to-write-fanfiction grave and let me post old work while working on new stuff is...Impressive. Damn you Daniel Bruhl.

Synopsis: With all the horrible things you had heard of Baron Helmut Zemo, you hadn't anticipated just how badly he wished to win you over. To a further extent, you certainly hadn't anticipated how tempting it would be to give in.

No bad NSFW this chapter - this is the lead up to the main course.

You were not an Avenger.

Unsurprising, really, given what you perceived to be your lack of talent and marketable super-heroine prowess, and so when Bucky called you up asking for a favour, you were pleasantly surprised.

You had only met Bucky on the rare occasion he let you help him, often expressing that he viewed you as a worrywart, a particularly bad day of his leading to him accusing you of trying to be his mother. He later apologized, hearing your explanation that you wanted to help in any way you could, and since you didn't have a superhero serum or fancy suit or arm, you relied on what you could - your mind and your giving nature.

He must have remembered this conversation, because he brought you with him and Sam to what appeared to be an underground parking garage.

"What're you talking about, you wanna break Zemo out of jail? Where the hell are we Buck? Have you lost your mind?!" Sam was raving as you followed behind the two men, silent as you stew over what Bucky had told you.

Babysitting duty.

You were effectively on glorified babysitting duty of an incredibly dangerous criminal.

"James..." you hesitated when he discussed this with you, how could you not? "I don't know how useful I'll be here."

"Very," he countered, his voice dull while his eyes were pleading. "Sam’s an Avenger, I have the serum. But you, you're just a person. Zemo will be less likely to hurt and immediately betray you because of that fact alone."

"He's killed people who've been in his way before. Normal people."

"He won't kill you. I'll make sure of that."

A heavy sigh escapes you as Sam and Bucky continue to bicker about the logistics of breaking Zemo out.

"I don't like how casual you're being about this, it's unnatural - and - where are we man?"

"I wouldn't mind an answer to that too," you supply, but any answer is interrupted by the sound of a door unlocking.

The three of you turn to approaching footsteps, and find no one other than Helmut Zemo striding towards you, dressed in a prison guard's uniform.

Sam responds immediately, arguing to throw him back in jail, while Bucky tries to calm him down. But you can't help but stare at the man before you as he removes the cap on his head, arms raised in an attempt to calm the men down.

"If I may" his voice rasped, but he was stopped short by Sam and Bucky in unison.

"NO!"

Zemo nodded, looking away almost sheepishly. "Apologies," came the quiet response.

If it were any other situation, you would have laughed - those two had the dynamics of a married couple and they couldn't stand each other. And for them to completely shut down the killer in front of them was...incredibly funny.

But you had a job to do.

As the boys continued to bicker, you took slow steps forward towards the man now looking you up and down, trying to place your part in all of this.

"Don't mind them," you spoke quietly, not wanting to distract Sam and Bucky, but still intending to speak with the criminal. "They're having some troubles in paradise. You must be Zemo."

His eyes take you in, a small smirk beginning to form. "So I must. May I have the pleasure of your name, Liebling?"

You offer your name hesitantly, and he repeats it back to you, as though he were sampling what it might taste like.

"Beautiful name, thank you." He turns to face the two men still arguing, not noticing your introductions. "I really think I'm invaluable..."

"Shut up..." Sam warned, before turning back to Bucky, looking between him and you.

You nod reassuringly to him - this is necessary, if the super soldiers are to be dealt with.

A sharp sigh leaves Sam. "Okay. If we do this, you don't make a move without our permission. And she is watching you every step of the way."

Bucky interjects. "And if anything happens to her, you're going to wish we left you in that cell."

Zemo nods, looking to you once again. "Fair."

You tilt your head slightly, unable to read his eyes as they examine you. You brush it off, chalking it up to him appreciating not being thrown back into a cell immediately. "Okay Zemo. Where do we start?"

*************************************

Zemo wasn't sure of what to make of you, he realized as you were on the jet to Riga.

You weren't an Avenger, you weren't a soldier, super or otherwise. You seemed to just be a person, one constantly offering her help where she could, even when it was to her own detriment.

He also took note of how rarely your help was appreciated or reciprocated.

You would offer help any moment you could, carrying supplies, offering to fetch food, simply offering and ear to listen. You were quick to attempt to smooth over Sam and Bucky's disputes, and you would play along with the role Zemo would assign you without much question - anything to help, you would say.

You were kind, he noticed as well. Smart, and shrewd, and clearly with trust issues, but you were kind and polite. You spoke with him as much as you might Sam or Bucky, you offered him your trust under the promise he would aide you find the super soldier serum. With your kindness, he thought it might be easy to manipulate you, to slip away from the group, maybe even to ask you to join him.

But there was an issue with his theory, he quickly noticed - any attempt to woo you, attract you, win you...didn't seem to work.

He hadn't been at the task long, mind you, but he had hoped you would be impressed with the jacket, the Baron title, the jet, the offer of wine. Instead, you simply seemed uncomfortable. Come Madripoor, you were happy to play the part of eye candy to escape much attention, yet when he offered you to keep the stunning dress, shoes, and jewelry ensemble you simply waved it off, claiming that you'd reimburse him if he insisted on you keeping it. You were happy to dance near him, unable to hide your laughter at his moves, yet he offered you a drink and you promptly declined, claiming it unnecessary.

Zemo's brow furrows as he observes you, awake and quietly reading as Sam and Bucky both sleep on the flight.

"What's your motive, Liebling?" he questions, and you glance up from your page.

"Don't tell me the criminal doesn't trust me," you respond wryly, turning your gaze back.

"No, I don't mean like that," he shifts, leaning forward to continue to observe the woman that was his guard. "I wonder what keeps you going. Some are motivated by riches, and dreams. Others from spite and anger. What do you want from life, my dear? What causes you to wake up in the morning?"

You pause, looking up to search his eyes to see where this question was coming from. You weren't sure what game he was playing, and you weren't sure how to answer him either. You eventually look back down to your book, a small smile playing on your lips.

"Nothing wakes me up in the morning, given I rarely get to sleep most nights."

His brows furrowed as she goes back to her pages, eager for the conversation to end. Her difficulty doesn't seem to be that he's a criminal - she's spoken plenty freely to him, she agrees to his plans...

The difficulty, he begins to realize with a smile. Maybe he's beginning to see what the difficulty is after all.

*************************************

You weren't sure what to make of Zemo, you think as you lie awake at night in the Riga safe house.

This criminal coming out of nowhere, apparently being rich as hell, so far doing nothing to cause you to believe he would betray you (yes, Sam and Bucky were shocked by his killing of Nagel, but really? You weren't shocked) ...but what shocked you the most was how badly he seemed to want to win you over.

You could justify it, sure. You're supposed to be his guard, he's likely trying to get you to let your guard down so he can escape. Yet when he's so charismatic, the way he holds himself, that voice...

Your eyes snap open sharply.

You were attracted to Zemo.

The man you're meant to be watching.

No, you told yourself. You're just lonely, and he's the first man offering you attention in a long time. It doesn't matter that his eyes examining you makes you blush, that you want to run your fingers through his hair, that a quiet voice your head wished that he would kiss you when he pulled you aside with one arm, other hand aiming at a pipe in Madripoor to blow up some poor saps...

It's the heat of the situation, you told yourself. Your options are Sam, Bucky, and Zemo...

Trust you to pick the worst option.

But how could you not, your mind whispers. When he danced like a goofball in a club your heart warmed. When he sat, filled with confidence and righteousness in the jet, legs splayed enough that you could perch on your knees in front of him, worship him, pleasure him. When he left the bathroom this morning in that damned robe, the deep V drawing your eyes down his chest before you could help himself.

You groaned. Of all the thoughts to keep you awake, why did it have to be your assignment on your mind?

It was too hot, your mind was swimming, you knew sleep wouldn't come soon.

And so, you stood, wrapping your arms around your book and padding downstairs in a loose t-shirt and shorts. Zemo had said that you were welcome to whatever resided within the safe house, and you were ready to take up his offer and steal a cup of tea.

You weren't expecting to find anyone else still awake. And yet, you weren't fully surprised to find Zemo sitting in the kitchen, bottle of whiskey at his side, a glass in his hand. He looks up at the sound of your footsteps, a soft smile on his face.

"Good evening, Liebling."

"Zemo. Can't sleep?"

"Unfortunately, not." He leans backwards slightly, examining you. "Another sleepless night for you as well."

"So it would seem."

You take a seat across the counter from him, not wanting to sit too closely to the man you were just fantasizing about. You were good at keeping a straight face, but you wondered if you got too close if he'd somehow be able to smell it on you.

He pushed his bottle forward, cocking an eyebrow at you.

"Drink?"

Your finger caresses the binding of your book as you hesitate to find the words.

"Actually, I had come down to make myself a cup of tea, if you don't mind."

Zemo's eyes lit up slightly, and he stood, motioning for you to stay where you were. "Allow me."

"You don't have to-" you begin to protest, but he's quick to cut you off.

"Please, Liebling, let me spoil you."

The heat that washes over you is clearly visible, if his chuckle is any indicator.

Silence falls and you quietly open your book as Zemo busies himself over the tea. In mere minutes a steeping mug is delicately placed in front of you. You smile graciously and nod, though you falter slightly as he doesn't return to the other end of the counter - rather, sitting on a stool right beside you, inquisitive eyes not leaving your face.

"Can I help you with something, Baron?" you question, taking the tea and blowing on it to cool it down somewhat. His eyes follow your movements, before travelling to meet yours again.

You could drown in those eyes -

"Day after day you offer your help, sarcastically or not," he begins, leaning forward slightly as he rests his chin on his hand, examining you. "Who offers help to the helper?"

You take a sip of your tea, tilting you head. "I don't know what you mean."

"Your refusal of my gifts, your reluctance to let me even make you a cup of tea - at first I wondered if it was in distrust of me, Liebling -"

"Well, you have killed people."

He quirks an eyebrow, and you motion for him to finish.

"I realize now it's because you're uncomfortable being cared for. You spend so much time looking after everyone else, you give no one the opportunity to worship you as you deserve."

You choked a bit on your tea at that.

"I don't know that I deserve to be worshiped, I just...exist. And do what I can to help others."

Zemo leaned forward further, slowly, so as to not push you away in result. "We haven't been acquainted for long, my dear, but from all I've seen from you with Sam, with James, and with an undeserving man such as myself...the strength in your soul and the empathy in your heart...It alone rises you so far above the men and women placed on pedestals because of their supernatural abilities."

You lean forward to match, but your eyes have steeled over. "Your sweet words won't make me let you go, Zemo. I won't betray Sam and Bucky."

He didn't miss a beat. "I should be so lucky to be held captive by you for eternity, Liebling. I don't ask you to betray your friends on my behalf."

"Then what do you want from me, exactly?"

You should be very afraid. The man who singlehandedly tore apart the Avengers is staring at you as if you were a last meal, his knees touching yours, his hand finding its way to lightly perch on your arm.

You should be afraid.

Yet despite your better judgement, you aren't.

"I want you to tell me every one of your desires, so I might fulfill them. I want to see you stand tall in the finest clothes money can buy, to whisk you away to Paris, Vienna, Rome, every beautiful local this world has to offer, local that pale in comparison to the beauty in front of me. I want you to let me bring you tea, wine, food, chocolates, and anything else that might please you. I want you to relax against me, to feel the tension you've had all mission to wash away in the most luxurious bath of your life, while I wash your beautiful hair, while I taste every inch of you."

His voice had dropped to nearly a whisper, and you couldn't stop yourself from leaning forward more to hang off his every word. "I'm not a stupid man. I know it's only a matter of time before I'm back in a prison cell of some kind. And even if I weren't, you may not believe the sincerity of my words. But tonight, little bird, I want you to let me worship you."

Your eyes fluttered as his hand reached forward to cup your cheek, thumb caressing over your bottom lip. You had the strength to look him dead in the eye with one final warning.

"If this is a trick of any kind, Zemo, I won't hesitate to let Bucky rip you to shreds."

The laughter that leaves him fans over your face, drawing your eyes to his lips.

"I'd expect nothing less, Liebling."

His eyes still search your face. A gentleman, you realize. He's waiting for permission.

You lean forward to close the gap, slowly letting your mouth brush over his, tasting him for the first time, as your hand raises to card through the locks of hair in his face. Your body thrums with anticipation of what's to come, with the anxiety that this may be a dangerous move, with pure, undiluted arousal from his words.

Yet you break away gently, both hands cupping his face now as he looks at you, curious as to why you stopped, pleased that his initial seduction worked.

Your hands slowly travel down to his own, and you stand, backing towards the way you came when you first gave up on sleep for the night.

"Come on then. You want to show me what being spoiled is like?"

A grin curls its way onto his face as he spins you in his arms, twirling you so that your back is against his front, his arms around you, his breath hot in your ear.

"Little bird, I'll give you everything you crave and more."

#zemo x reader #zemo fanfic #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #x reader #baron zemo x reader

[angelkurenai]

Long overdue - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Title: Long overdue

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: None

Prompt: Could you please do a Bucky and y/n where she is shy but is really close to Steve and Bucky thanks their dating and he gets jealous because he loves her but they don’t really talk that much? Love your work

“Still not ready to retire old man?” you smiled, teasingly when the blonde looked at you over his shoulder, but always with a warmth in your eyes that only longtime friends, family, at this point could have. Especially after everything you've all been through.

“What did you just call me, right now?” he narrowed his eyes at you, a lightness and easiness in both his movement and voice, as you couldn't see much of his face at that moment. Granted there was still some heaviness in the atmosphere whenever silence followed, and his moves if one was to pay close attention could notice were short and stiff. And you do notice it.

But who could blame him? Things are better than what they've been five years ago but still, that doesn't mean good. Not when people were still lost in the battle, important ones. Also family.

It's as good as it can get for now at least, and to have your best friend alive and here with you is really the second best thing at the moment. So you can't nor will complain.

“Am pretty sure you heard me. Just as I am sure that if I looked close enough, I could spot a white strand of hair here and there.” you smirked when his eyes widened “But that's not the point here. What I mean is, it's been a good couple months since you gave up that shield, and yet you're still somehow around. Changed your mind, maybe you need a new one? I saw one the other day when I was in town, I think it would suit you.”

“I'm just taking my time, it's not that easy to find an apartment in Brooklyn. You know that.” he turned to fully face you, a frown on his face but it was anything but serious as he crossed his arms over his chest “Besides, weren't you the one that said I should take as much time as I need and that this will always be my home? What happened now? Can't wait to get rid of me?”

“Oh you figured it out, at last.” you played along, letting out a long sigh of relief “Yeah, I'm so sick and tired of seeing that perfectly handsome face all the time. Distracting, taunting and at the same time reminding me of the 20 skincare products I have to use yet again tonight, to look even remotely human.”

A deep chuckle escaped his lips, the easy smile managing to warm you deep to your heart, just as much as his arms did the moment they wrapped around you "If that is to say you look like an angel otherwise, then yes I will accept it.”

“Yeah, particularly the one that rules hell.” you chuckled.

“Why do I even try to say anything nice for you in the first place?” he laughed, shaking his head.

You giggled, wrapping your arms around him as well, trying to find some comfort in your friend- in your family, before you inevitably had to throw yourself into this new world without him. The new age of heroes where many things had changed and in which you wouldn't have someone to turn to any given moment, as easily as it was with Steve. Steve had always been that important. There still was one, much more important of course, but that treacherous heart of yours made it impossible for you to even remotely think you could be so open with him as with Steve. Not without turning every shade of red there was, anyway. “In any case-” you cleared your throat “I could still get you that shield and you can be back on the business in no time. With a new title, of course, but still doing the job... which involves making me breakfast and dinner when I'm too tired. I mean, now that I think about it, you can still keep up that job even if you don't wanna be out on the field.”

“Ah so I do see why you want me to stay after all.” he nodded his head “By the way, what kind of shield are we talking about?”

“Oh it's a special one. I think it was based off a movie? You know how they are with superhero movies lately. And given how bright pink it was I'm guessing Captain Barbie or someth-” but you didn't even get to complete your sentence when a yelp left your lips and soon laughter followed. His fingers moved swiftly as he tickled your sides but you were faster at swatting his hands away.

“Fine, fine. Not a fan of cinema, I see.” you shook your head with a sigh.

“Yeah, forgive me, but we all have flaws. Even me. Is that the real reason why you want me out of here as soon as possible, maybe?” he raised an eyebrow.

“You've got me. Deep down I cannot stand the fact.” you shrugged innocently, but the smile on your lips betraying what you felt.

“Man, I feel the love. You all are glad I came back alive from returning the stones I see.” he said only as a joke, focusing back to gathering the papers filled with older drawings that he had on his table.

“... I am glad you are still here, though, Steve.” you said softly and he looked over his shoulder at you again. This time he didn't just pause, he let go of the papers and turned to face you.

“Where else would I be?” this time a frown set on his face, more serious than any other you'd seen on his face so far, because he understood what your words meant “This is where my family is.”

“Well, yeah, but I mean-” you bit the inside of your cheek and shrugged “There still were more options. More than you had before.”

“More options, yes. A need for a choice? No. I'm good, more than good. And I wouldn't change a thing about what I have here...” he shrugged softly, looking at you carefully almost with calculating eyes before he started speaking again “I mean, save for one thing I suppose. There is always-”

“Don't. Don't you even-” you gave him a sharp look, fast enough to cut him off “Not unless you want me to kick your ass out of here, right now.” you shook your head, lowering your voice “We agreed we wouldn't talk about it. You promised me you wouldn't bring it up again, Steve. You promised.”

You adored your best friend, you honestly did, but moments like this you really wished you had not told him a single word. Not that he wouldn't have figured it out by himself. He was a persistent man, standing by his opinion no matter what. And this time, seeing as he was somehow convinced your feelings could be reciprocated, he did everything in his power to convince you to act on them. He was the only one that knew the truth and you didn't really know if it was a blessing to have someone to talk to about it or a nightmare with how he acted.

“I try but it is too hard seeing how idiotic the two people closest to me can be.” he crossed his arms over his chest, making you frown for a moment in confusion “And I'm still having a hard time understanding why. I get that you have trouble opening up to people, more than just get it. I know how it is. I'm not the most open person exactly, either, and the thought of getting attached to someone is terrifying given the job we do. But it's not just someone, someone random, we're talking about here. There is nothing to be shy abo-”

“I'm not shy about a damn thing, Steve, stop saying that.” you huffed, giving him a hard look “I'm a grown-ass woman who has saved your ass and the world at the same time, more times than I can count. I'm not some schoolgirl to be shy or crushing or daydreaming or whatever word you wanna use again about- about me and you-kow-who.” the fact that you couldn't even say your name for fear of him somehow being around and hearing did make you look no more mature than a schoolgirl.

“All I'm saying is that if you opened up more, you may be surprised in ways that you couldn't even imagine.”

“Oh like him telling me he feels the same? Well, let's see: you are his best friend, practically his brother. He confides in you, trusts you with his life and everything important to him. Has he told you he sees me as anything more than a friend?”

“Well, he-” he paused “No, not really. He doesn't seem to want to talk much about it... you, with me. Like when I bring you up he gets too stiff but I- I see the way he looks at you! He may not admit it-”

“Because there is probably nothing to admit! It's all in your mind and I can't get my hopes up over just a feeling, Steve.”

“Look, all I'm saying is-” he sighed, shaking his head “All this- All this waiting, and pining because you know that's what this is-” he pointed a finger at you before you could get to retort “You know that's exactly what this is! Waiting and hoping it- it goes away somehow? That your feelings for him are something that will just pass like a scratch on knee, or that you'll cover it up and it will be like they don't exist? This is not how it works. You have to try your chance because if you don't then you'll only live to regret it, and I know you will the same I know it's not something that goes away. He may not see it, but I do. And the way you look at Buc-” he stopped himself when your eyes widened, he sighed instead and raised his arms in surrender “The way you look at him, the way you care and-” he stopped himself, shaking his head before slowly approaching you again.

“For god's sake, the way you love, (Y/n), that is not something that can easily be found. This love that you have in you, this big heart that you are so willing to give without a second thought, the care and selfless devotion is- it's one of a kind.” he slowly wrapped his arms around you, looking you carefully in the eyes “You are one of a kind. And anyone that has even part of your love should thank his lucky stars because it is a blessing to be loved by a woman like you. Waiting is one thing, but to be loved like this and not know it, it would be the biggest tragedy in one's life, (Y/n).”

You knew he was only saying everything because he wanted to help you out, to give you a push as gentle as possible towards the right direction. How right was it for you to confess to his best friend that you've always had feelings for him for so long and possible ruin the dynamics and relation you'd built with all of them (besides making a terrible fool of yourself), you didn't know. You were scared to even think of telling him the truth when you could barely utter a few words in his presence because of that treacherous heart of yours that jumped around like crazy whenever he was near.

“Says the world's leading authority on waiting too long.” you mumbled as a weak excuse, knowing he was right, and let your head rest on his chest as he tightened the hold around your waist.

“Yeah, well, speaking from experience I suppose.” he kissed the top of your head “I just want you to be happy, you know how important you are to me. And I would hate to-”

He didn't, however, get to finish his sentence when another voice was heard “Hey, Steve, you done with those-” but his words were also cut off as he breathed a low, gruff “Oh. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.”

“Wha- No, hey, Buck. Not interrupting.” Steve gave his friend a soft smile, pulling away from you and giving you a chance to take a goo look at his friend, and a good look you did take “Just having a word here with (Y/n). Sorry to keep you guys waiting.”

“No I uh should've thought so. Judging from the heartfelt words and all that. I shouldn't have assumed you were talking to yourself, I suppose.” he was mostly speaking to Steve but his eyes were mostly on you, a soft smile on his lips though it didn't reflect on his eyes at all. After barely half a beat, he spoke to you “Hey (Y/n). How you've been?”

“Hello Bucky.” you smiled as well, your throat closing up “Good, you?” you asked and he gave you a soft nod, without taking his eyes off you. Not that you did either. How could you?

Even if somebody were to warn you about it, it would never be able enough to prepare you for what you were seeing. You always knew and would easily admit that the man was good-looking, but this- this even more attractive than you could even imagine. You had seen photos of him back in the days, with his hair shorter and his face on full display, but to see him in person was a whole other thing. It took your breath away to have his eyes fully on you and not for a second hidden. It felt like his whole face was more open, even though his features were still somewhat clouded; the weight on his shoulders wouldn't go away anytime soon that was for sure. But to be able to be like the man he was back then was more than in looks, he could slowly feel like him again.

“Because that would have made so much sense now, wouldn't it?” Steve spoke up.

“Probably. I don't know, I just heard the last sentence anyway, so-” he shrugged, his eyes only stealing a glimpse at you before looking away in what seemed like guilt which you could not understand “Apologies about that. If you guys wanna stay alone some more, I can go by the car and wa-”

“Nah we're good here, all that lady's been doing is distract me anyway.” Steve shot you a playful look “Maybe you can help me out here a bit. I'll take this bag to the car and (Y/n) can tell what else we need from the desk.”

“Alright, I-” Bucky hesitated only for a second, his eyebrows pulling into a frown when Steve all-too-eagerly grabbed his only full bag of clothes and left his room, all excited to leave you alone with Bucky and you would have glared at him if you didn't feel terrified “There he goes.” Bucky sighed before turning to you with a soft smile “Ok, so is there anything you need help with?”

“I uh ye-yeah. Steve was gonna gather his drawings next so given they're important we could... do that.” you breathed out a little hastily but also in a low voice as you rushed to get to the desk. Bucky didn't say a word himself, only letting the tense silence hang in the air; while you struggled on the inside to come up with something good enough. It wasn't just that you were shy or quiet, you were always so unsure of what was best to say to the man, fearing you'd mess it up or make a fool of yourself.

“He's got plenty of these, must have felt really inspired hm?” Bucky spoke in a soft voice, looking over at the drawings Steve had done of you. You got distracted for a moment, taking the warmth in his eyes and the smile that look bittersweet if not sad on his face.

“Uh yeah.” you cleared your throat “It was around the time I was trying to get him back to drawing after I found his art. I was a bit shy about it at first but I suppose they're good.”

“His art always was, he's got a way of bringing things to life, capturing things in a different way but this-” he pause, looking up to meet your eyes, locking them in a look that only made your knees weak if the small distance hadn't already “It would never even compare to the real thing. That is one of a kind. You've always been anyway, I don't think there is a single person that knows you and could deny that.”

“I- I'm not that special.” you could feel the heat rise up on your cheeks and forced yourself to look down.

“I didn't just say special. I said one of a kind, unique. As is... everything about you. But then again, Steve has always been lucky without even knowing it.”

Glancing at him you did notice the honesty in his eyes, the warmth that almost reached out to you like that of the sun. If it weren't for his words that had your heart hammering in your chest, you would have paid more attention to the way his smile didn't really reach his eyes or the longing with which he looked at you.

“I suppose.” you mumbled, though you couldn't understand the meaning behind his last sentence. Letting the silence fill the room again you desperately searched for something else to say. You didn't speak much with Bucky but you wanted – despite your fear – to be the one to keep the conversation going because the truth was you loved talking with him “You look good, you got a haircut.”

Well, when you weren't making a fool of yourself that is.

Bucky paused for a moment, looking at you and you really braced yourself for him to laugh at you and call you out on what a stupid thing that was to say. But instead all you got a smile that you would be damned if it wasn't shy. It was almost too sweet for your heart to take, and the way he ducked his head as if some bashful... schoolboy (you almost laughed at the word that came up in your mind) had your breath getting caught up in your throat once more. You had never seen this side of Bucky. Never.

“Yeah I uh-” he smiled, fully smiled, and your own heart jumped to your throat “I thought that maybe it was time for a change. I didn't know if I could pull it off again after all these years but I-”

“No” you whispered “No, you're- you look great, really, Buck.” you confessed softly and his smile only got bigger “Not that you didn't before, don't get me wrong. You just look like you did back in the days. I- I saw a couple photos of you and Steve, and it's- it's good. Real good.” you gave him a small nod, which he return.

The smile stayed on his lips as he admitted “Yeah, truth is Steve was the one that insisted on it for some reason.” some reason, yeah, more like you saying how good Bucky looked with short hair better yet.

“Well, I'm glad you took that choice. It does look great. And... not that I think you had any trouble before, but now you'll have all the ladies swooning over you, you will barely have time for us.”

“That would never happen, never. I would never put anyone else before you.” he spoke with so much sincerity that you had to look away for a second because of the intensity “Besides-” he cleared his throat “Looking forward to go on double dates or something? I figured you and Steve wouldn't have time for us.”

“Steve, probably, he's got a lot on his plate now. But what do I have to do with any of it?”

“I just-” he shrugged softly, frowning “I figured that moving in a new place is... a lot.”

“It is... hence Steve having a lot on his plate. I still don't get what I have to do with that? I mean, sure, I'm his best pal besides you and Sam, but it's not like I'm moving in with him or anything.” you shrugged with an smile, focusing for a few moments on the drawings before you.

“Oh I thought-” he paused, nodding his head before he let out a soft breath “Well, I suppose I was just assuming. It's not like... this changes anything, right?” his words were so hesitant that it confused for a second.

“...No? Why would it? Steve is still Steve. Things are and will continue to be the way they've always been.”

“I mean-” he cleared his throat again, shifting in his place “You two are good right? Like, together and all that, you're good?”

“Just like we've always been, Buck, I don't understand why you're asking this. Honestly... Is there something not right with you, maybe?” you asked softly, trying to meet his eyes even though he avoided it.

“No, why would there be?” he swallowed thickly, nodding to himself “And besides, I should've thought so.” he offered you a smile, albeit weak “He wouldn't have given up a chance with... A chance to the life he would've had for something that's not important. As far as that is concerned, I don't blame him. I would do the same.”

“You... you mean Peggy, don't you?”

“I-” he shrugged softly “I didn't really wanna mention her in case... Well, he did leave her for you. He stayed here, didn't go back to live his life with her. Which, again, is the right choice. To tell you the truth, I feared for a moment that we wouldn't see him come back from that time travel unless he was graying and old.” feared, and that terrible part of himself that was too selfish, hoped he would stay back in time to have his life with Peggy so that Bucky could maybe get a chance with you in case-

“But he did come back.” you whispered “And he did it for all of us, there's no reason to give me all the credit, Bucky.”

“I mean, you're still the main reason. And as I said, he did make the right choice. Hell, I know that if he had even so considered staying back there, I would have kicked his ass for it. But I guess I'm more than glad you two are so good like this, that I didn't need to.” liar, he knew he was such a big liar for saying all of it.

“Main reason, yeah sure.” you breathed out a laugh, feeling proud with yourself for how casual you sounded “Just say what's on your mind, Buck. Steve's so tired of my single sorry ass that he had to stay here to make sure I don't end up being a crazy cat lady. I mean can I blame him? No. I can't even tell the guy I... the guy I like how I feel about him.” you shrugged, not meeting his eyes.

You were saying things you never thought you would, but feeling bold maybe you would slowly get somewhere in the end “I'm sure Steve's just gonna snap one of these days and tell him 'She likes you you idiot, for fuck's sake do something cause I'm sick and tired listening to her talk about you non-stop.' and I'm not even joking. That will be it, word for word. So-” you let out a low laugh “I better hold him back huh?”

“What?” you did expect to see such a dark and serious look to meet you when you finally looked at him “What did you just say (Y/n)?”

“That... you know, with me being single all this time, Steve might try to set me up with- I'm sorry.” you shook your head “Did I say something wrong? Was it something that I-”

“You're... what?” his voice was so gruff that you felt even more worried.

But before you could voice your concerns, your best friend was walking inside the room again “Sorry for the delay, though I suppose you guys barely noticed my-” but he stopped himself when he was met with the hardest glare you had seen Bucky give his friend “Uh is everything alright?”

“We'll see about that.” his voice was deep “Come on. You. Me. Talk. You have lots explaining to do.” he took a deep breath, looking at you for a few too long seconds too many emotions on his face for you to tell apart, before looking back at his friend “And it's been long overdue.”

#avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #avengers fanfiction #avengers one shot #marvel #mcu #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky one shot #bucky barnes one shot #winter soldier #winter solider fanfiction #winter solider imagine #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier and the falcon #sebastian stan #imagine #x reader

[idontblushsrry]

Sesshomaru|| SFW Alphabet

A/N: Heheh he seggsy ft. a gender neutral reader

Word Count: 2140

A: Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Sesshomaru shows affection by cutting off the heads of those that would dare threaten you and overall ensuring your safety. He also lets you lay on him, whether in human form or demon form, the fact that he lets you lay on him, let alone be near him when he’s so vulnerable speaks volumes of your bond.

B: Best Friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Sesshomaru doesn’t really do best friends, if he’s interested in you, he’ll make it known when he feels is most appropriate but otherwise you’re likely in his mind at least a subordinate or acquaintance at most.

C: Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As stated before, Sesshomaru is a secret cuddler, even more surprising is the fact that he’s good at it. Sesshomaru’s cuddles are warm and fluffy and his arm wrapped tight around your waist makes you feel safe and secure. When he’s cuddling you, he’ll also bury his head into the junction between your neck and shoulder, to him this is where your scent is strongest and he loves to be reminded of it as the rest of your scent slowly blends into his.

D: Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Settling down for Sesshomaru is kind of a weird term, it takes a lot of explaining and even then he’s still confused. When you ask him about it though, he informs you that you’re more than welcome to stay at his castle, but part of his duty is patrolling his land. He can’t settle down but he swears to you that you’ll never want for anything so long as you allow him to stand by your side.

E: Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

To be honest, Sesshomaru would probably just drop you off at the nearest human settlement/demon settlement (if it’s a really bad breakup he’ll just leave you to fend for yourself). If Rin is particularly attached to you, he may feel bad internally but in his mind, she’ll have to understand that the two of you just weren’t meant to last.

F: Fiance(e) (How would they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Sesshomaru is kind of already engaged to you once you accept his courting offer. While he won’t be pushy about it, he does want to marry you as soon as possible. The moment you agree to marry him is the happiest day of his long life, and the whole affair is a week long festivity followed by a month long honeymoon.

G: Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Sesshomaru is by no means gentle. Maybe if pushed to the brink of desperation to where your life was in danger, he’d crack just a little bit, the aftermath of which he’d make some excuse to always be holding or carrying you. Overall though, he’s not really gentle but he doesn’t need to be, he more than makes up for it because he treats you like you’re a gift from the heavens and a grace to all living things.

H: Hugs( Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn’t initiate hugs, ever. He lets Rin hug him and you but that’s about it. If anyone else tried to hug him, he’d cut their arms off and if anyone aside from Jaken or Ah-Un saw him receiving a hug they’d better start running.

I: I love you (How fast do they say the L-word)

Like with settling down, it takes some convincing and a lot of explanation on your part for him to understand how three words convey to you the depth of his devotion. The way he says ‘i love you’ isn’t through words (although he eventually does say so to make you happy) it’s through the way his gaze melts just a little bit when he sees you, it’s in the smile he gives no one but you, it’s in the way he’s willing to give up everything, just for you.

J: Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous)

When Sesshomaru gets jealous, it’s actually kind of serious. He doesn’t get jealous as he has no need to but seeing how Mukotsu stole you away from him and hearing how one of the thunder brothers tried to marry you made his blood boil with rage. If he hadn’t already disposed of Mukotsu he’d have made him die a slow death by Sesshomaru’s poison. Also, the fact that Inuyasha killed the thunder brothers is one of the few things he doesn’t begrudge his brother for.

K: Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Sesshomaru’s kisses are rough and demanding, even when he’s trying to be soft with you. Something in his nature that wants to assert dominance even in the tamest expressions of love. It’s not like you mind though, his kisses always leave you breathless and wanting more.

L: Little ones (How are they around children)

As evidenced by Rin (and kind of Kohaku), Sesshomaru is really good with kids. He’s just firm and uncaring enough to keep kids in line while still letting them play and explore. And deep, deep, deep down, he enjoys kids because of the almost naive outlook they have on the world, but he’d never admit that.

M: Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Sesshomaru are really nice and pleasant...until you have to pee. At which point it becomes an almost wrestling contest against a clingy cuddly demon who still wants to be pressed against his mate until time forces you both to wake up. It doesn’t help either that you’re likely sore from the night before.

N: Night (How are nights spent with them?)

The SFW version of a night with Sesshomaru usually consists of you telling Rin (and a bitter Jaken) stories around the fire. Rin will probably help you put your hair up before you go to sleep and when the little ball of energy finally collapses, you tuck her in and kiss her forehead. Sesshomaru in the meanwhile, would watch all of this from a distance, his superior senses negating any need to be close anyways; plus he prefers to watch over all of you from afar before sneaking under the covers next to you while you’re asleep.

O: Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Sesshomaru doesn’t necessarily mean to shut you out he just reveals information on a need to know basis. In addition to that, most of his thoughts are carefully revealed through small subconscious reactions or expressions that take you a while to even pick up on, much less interpret. Eventually though, he does become open with you, you become the only person in the world that he trusts with the full breadth of his secrets and vulnerability.

P: Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s a 50/50 split. He can be patient when he wants to, but sometimes people are moving too slow for his liking and he starts to feel his hand twitch with the urge to use his claws. To get him angry to the point of it being visible on his face or even to the point that he shifts into his demon form is something few (namely Inuyasha and Kagome) are capable of. With you though, he does get a little impatient, especially at the beginning when you didn’t understand his grunting, but never fully enraged to the point of transforming.

Q: Quizzes (How much would they remember about you?  Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Sesshomaru remembers things about you like your scent, what makes you happy, what makes you mad, etc., all very basic information for him. He doesn’t really bother to remember things like anniversaries or birthdays just for the simple fact that his concept of time is completely different to yours. He doesn’t see the point in celebrating anniversaries (he manages by noticing the changes in your scent when yalls anniversary is approaching) and he finds it amusing that you celebrate his birthday, he hates celebrating yours though because it just reminds him that you’re human and each year is closer and closer to an eternity he’ll have to inevitably spend without you.

R: Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Sesshomaru’s  favorite moment in your relationship was when Rin accidently likened you to a parental figure one day. You managed to keep it together, but the moment she got distracted you turned to him and just sobbed into the fluff of his tail. The memory still makes him laugh but you swore him to secrecy, and he fears ever so slightly what you’d do if he broke that vow.

S: Security (How protective are they? How would they like to be protected?)

Sesshomaru does all the physical protection in your relationship. He can sense danger better even when far away and has skills and senses that you really can’t compare to. Although, Sesshomaru never sees you as inferior to him, as long as you rub his head and shoo away Kagome whenever she tries to be too sisterly with him, he’s all good.

T: Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

As mentioned earlier, Sesshomaru, while he doesn’t care for anniversaries, definitely makes a big event out of showing his love to you. Although the two of you aren’t dating, you’re courting (or married), he still manages to make you feel like the most beautiful person on Earth when he takes you out. If your date isn’t a private personal affair, he’s making a big show of it. Everyone in the land will know that you are his and that you are incredible in every way (basically multiple feasts/parties held in your honor).

U: Ugly (What are some bad habits of theirs? (I’m gonna add arguments here because they aren’t on the prompt list I found))

A bad habit of Sesshomaru’s is his impatience. He can be patient, but it’s mostly a façade, one in place to maintain his cool, unbothered persona. Truth is, many things bother him and he tends to just bottle it up and let it build until it boils over. Now, he may snap at you, but it’s most likely that he’ll walk away to go hack at a tree and not speak to you for a while. This leads to his second bad habit, his aloofness. While Sesshomaru is always aloof, it’s not usually a bad thing. But if he gets into one of his moods and you push and push and push, it will cause an argument.

V: Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Sesshomaru isn’t concerned with his looks, he always looks flawless. 

W: Worry (changed bcus I don’t like how the original frames relationships)

Sesshomaru does worry about you a lot. He tries not to say anything or let it bother him but it seems like every second he’s reminded of your human fragility. One day for trip over a tree root, the next you poke your finger sewing Rin’s clothes, and just one after another until your damned birthday comes around again and he’s reminded of the fact that you’ll get old much faster than he will. Needless to say, he worries about you a lot.

X: (E)xes (Any previous relationship experience. How does that factor into your current relationship?)

He has some previous relationship experience, mostly from matches his mom set up or random hookups. You’re most likely his first and only serious relationship.

Y: Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner)

He thinks people who seek to gain power/get ahead through frivolous means to be some of the most distasteful scum of the Earth. Aside from that he doesn’t really dislike anyone, aside from humans, or half-demons, or other demons, or anyone weaker than him, or... we could be here all day, but he pretty much only likes you, Ah-Un, Rin, Kohaku, and sometimes Jaken

Z: Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Sesshomaru has never really had to sleep in a bed proper before you so he can just kinda fall asleep anywhere and be perfectly fine. His other skills include sleeping while standing and sleeping with his eyes open.

#sesshomaru x reader #sesshomaru imagines #inuyasha imagines #inuyasha x reader #x black reader #black!reader #sfw alpahbet #sesshomaru imagine #idontblushsrry

[bigskydreaming]

AU where the DickKory wedding doesn’t happen as planned like in the comics, but here its because their friends, instead of just gossipping to each other about ‘what Dick did’ and how this is a mistake because he’s just trying to prove something and Kory’s just going along with it because she was shaken up by what happened too and kinda feels a need to feel/see it proven by him....

And instead, the other Titans (specifically looking at Wally, Roy, Garth and Donna, seeing as how those were the four who had plenty to say to EACH OTHER about their concerns but without any - except for Donna to Kory, and I maintain it wasn’t exactly the RIGHT thing to say - actually saying it TO them)....

No, instead here, they sit Dick and Kory down and ask why they’re really doing this and what's it all actually for, and when it comes out that Dick literally proposed in the heat of an argument about trying to convince Kory he never would have slept with Mirage if he’d known she wasn’t Kory, that she’s the only one he wants to be with and he was just desperate for her to believe it....well FINALLY this clusterfuck of chuckleheads pulls their heads out of their collective keister and starts looking at how FUCKED UP Dick is over all of this, and thinks back to the many, MANY times and ways he’s clearly displayed feelings of being deeply violated by what happened and how he was tricked, manipulated, didn’t want any of this, etc, etc. 

And because they’re actually superheroes who are familiar with victims of all kinds and not dumbasses who are so quick to blame the lifelong friend noted specifically by everyone who meets him for his enduring LOYALTY at all times, in all cases - in fact, how often do these very same people give Dick shit about being TOO loyal to people even when they don’t deserve it, like when has an ability to commit EVER been this man’s problem, like who are you even talking to here - and like.....they finally get their heads on straight and go hang on, let’s take a beat. I feel like we maybe rushed to judgment and didn’t totally think through what happened here and now we’re thinking it sounds a lot more like rape which means Dick did nothing wrong and has nothing to prove and Kory can reaffirm what she’s always believed and only had shaken for a time, that Dick’s love for her is real and honest.

And they can then without any hurt feelings or implications as to the longterm viability of their relationship, call the wedding off as they recognize the proposal for what it actually WAS, aka part of Dick’s literal ongoing trauma response as he tried to reconcile his deep-down knowledge that he was a victim here, he’d been victimized, violated and betrayed by someone he had trusted to be a teammate, not unlike other times he’s been betrayed by people like Terra or had to feel the visceral feelings of betrayal even when it wasn’t their fault, like more recently when it was a possessed Joey who was mocking Dick while holding him captive and then y’know, getting murdered right in front of him, and Dick is very much not OKAY because of all of this. 

Because its all hitting him in places where he is PARTICULARLY vulnerable because of parallel experiences he can’t help but associate with betrayal and manipulation and the subsequent experiences/feelings of being turned on and blamed by his friends for what he feels then is his responsibility to take sole accountability for, so all of this is very familiar, hits right to the bone of a lot of Dick’s core issues, and this time it just happens to all be compounded by the betrayal/victimization being deeply personal in a way none of the prior situations were, as well as being compounded by how nobody else seemed to even recognize he’d BEEN a victim.

And then by focusing on THAT instead of just gossipping about the SYMPTOM of his not being okay that was his shotgun proposal - which they all literally agreed only happened because Dick wasn’t okay - Dick and Kory can just mutually agree that they aren’t actually ready to get married, something both of them actually were very aware of and just trying to pretend otherwise, but they can further agree that its not a BAD thing they’re not ready to get married, it doesn’t mean they’ll NEVER be in the right place to get married, that this just isn’t it. Them not being actually ready to get married here and now, that has nothing to do with their RELATIONSHIP and everything in the world to do just with the specific reasons the proposal even happened, and their feelings and what they hoped to prove/be convinced of because of all that.

Meaning they then take a step back, Dick can get the help he needs with the support of Kory and his friends, and at some future point in his recovery, he and Kory can shift their focus back onto their relationship, mutually, leading to them eventually reaching the stage where they ARE ready to get married and one of them proposes to the other for the actual right reasons (which are really just, hey I love you and I want to marry you, its exactly that deep) and then they do get married and eventually start a family and things are still dramatic and chaotic and superhero-y but DUH, that’s because they’re SUPERHEROES, but they can still have a happy, healthy family life, the Kents do it all the damn time, and so can they....in this case they literally just needed a little help from their friends, so AU where that’s what they give them for their wedding gift. A ‘hey, call off your damn wedding,’ share circle.

Bonus points of course are that if the wedding never happens, DarkSide!Raven is left waiting in the wings and never gets her dramatic entrance moment to be like “Why yes, I object!” and so she misses her window and Kory and Dick are from that point on so surrounded by friends she never gets a good opening to possess Kory with the demon seed, so Kory never has to deal with ANY of that nonsense, because the LAST thing either Kory, Dick or their relationship needs to deal with, is MORE possession/brainwashing/mind control bullshit. Like enough already. They more than filled their quota. Let another happy couple dabble in the Being Possessed or Mind Controlled field for a change. Dick and Kory are MORE than happy to share. They aren’t going for a monopoly here.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi again! Honestly, I kind of love your meta about the Cullens with and without Edward as a framing device. They're so delightfully fucked up. What do you think the Cullens like about each other? Like, do Jasper and Rosalie ever just share a commiserating glance when Edward is getting particularly judge-y? Does Carlisle ever tell Rose how proud he is that her self-control is That Good? Do Emmett and Esme hang out, does she appreciate how light-hearted he is? Like - other than their "mates" do you think the Cullens are super close? What do you think it would take to get them there/what's the ideal "family" dynamic?

Thank you, and for reference, Edward's thoughts on the family.

All the Cullens about all the other Cullens? Well, this will certainly be a large post. I guess we'll tackle this one at a time and then get into what an ideal "family" dynamic even is (especially for vampires).

Let's buckle in friends.

Alice

By far, Alice is closest to Edward.

When she first sees him, she runs to him and embraces him as a brother. Throughout the series, Alice and Edward are the ones that share a close bond with each other, rely upon one another, and hold each other in the highest esteem.

Much of this comes from their respective gifts.

Per their gifts, they unwillingly invade the privacy of everyone close in their lives. More, it's something that forces them to see the world differently beyond even Jasper (who is also gifted). They have a strong sense of kinship with one another.

Bella is important to Alice not only because Alice sees her as a friend but because she is the one who will make Edward happiest. And that means quite a bit to Alice.

Otherwise, Alice isn't that close to any of the others.

Bella comes in slot number two in Alice's esteem and that's very telling, because Alice treats Bella like her life-sized Barbie doll and makes it clear on a number of occasions that she's more than willing to risk Bella's life for the sake of Edward's happiness without a hint of remorse.

Then there's the rest of them.

People, to Alice, are a bit like pawns in a chess game. Part of this is because of her gift, she sees so many futures that it's very easy for her to dehumanize those around her. The people she's closest to aren't people, but a collection of possible choices, and Alice helps guide those choices to the ones she finds preferable.

And preferable, here, is preferable to Alice. Oh, it might work out for everyone else, and Alice will tell you she looks out for the future of everyone over all, but ultimately because everyone else is just a collection of choices it's what happens to Alice that matters.

Alice is with Jasper because a vision told her to be, nothing more, nothing less. Every interaction they have just emphasizes that they are nothing together, not even a real emotional bond.

The others don't even seem to share a connection with Alice at all. She's in their lives, is this perky kind of fun girl, but that's it. They barely know her as she seems to barely know them.

Alice is with the Cullens not for the Cullens themselves but because visions have guided her to be there as the best future for her. Oh, she treats them like family, but I imagine she'd be the same with anyone else had visions dictated a different path.

As for why the Cullens, they're large and very talented, and Carlisle is one of the few vampires in such a large coven who would not use Alice's gift as a means of war or expansion. It's really the safest place for Alice to be, and why she'll likely do everything in her power to keep the coven together.

Carlisle

Despite Edward's, Edwardness, Carlisle is incredibly fond of Edward and does see him as something of a son. He's also very devoted to his marriage to Esme, despite its unseen flaws. And he seems to be very close with Rosalie, easily seeing her as a daughter and acting much like a paternal figure to her throughout the series.

He doesn't seem as close with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. This is in part because Emmett doesn't really reach out to him the way the others do, Jasper keeps very much to himself, and Alice is Alice.

However, he's very fond of the Cullens as a whole and looks on each of them highly, even if they don't really deserve it all the time. He would be devestated were the coven to fall apart.

Emmett

Emmett's closest is with Rosalie, for obvious reasons, but even they have a pretty dysfunctional relationship. What Emmett appreciates most about Rosalie is her beauty, when it comes to her personality, he openly admits he's not the largest fan (but what are you going to do, it's the wife, amirite?)

Otherwise, he's a very amiable guy and gets along well enough with everyone, but doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. He wrestles with Jasper and seems to engage in the most 'fun' activities with him, but Jasper is a very haunted soul with a difficult past that Emmett doesn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Emmett tries to bond with Edward, but they just don't understand one another. Especially as Edward seems to go increasingly mad when he decides he's in love with Bella Swan, Emmett doesn't know what to do with that one at all.

Emmett never embraces the whole Esme and Carlisle as his parents thing, and to him it's likely a hilarious joke, but otherwise he doesn't bond with either of them too much.

So, when you get down to it, it's pretty much just Rose.

Esme

Esme adores the family, and by the family I mean Edward. Edward is far and away Esme's favorite child, really the only Cullen I'd say Esme considers her child, and she makes no pretense otherwise and openly says as much.

That said, if you asked her, it would be about the family unit as a whole. And she would be devastated if the Cullens fell apart on her, though not as much if one of the fringe members left vs. Edward leaving.

Otherwise, there's Carlisle, who she adores as her husband. Though they, too, have significant issues. Specifically, neither of them truly knows who it is they married and one day they will find that out. Personally, I think Carlisle ranks far less in Esme's priorities than Edward, in part because he doesn't need her quite so badly, and also because in a way he just is Husband to her and little else.

I think she has very little connection with Jasper and Alice specifically, as they came in so late and in a way are so self contained. Emmett I think amuses her, but he's not really a "child" per se. Rosalie's closest, but as Rosalie doesn't need her as a mother I think that puts a wedge between them.

I also think that Rosalie and Esme wouldn't really understand each other. Despite having lived through similar experiences as humans, they are very different women from one another. I just don't see the bond there.

Jasper

Jasper seems to be the eternal outsider in the family. Edward despises him, but more, I think he doesn't quite know where to fit in with these people. He came from such a different from world than each of them and lived a very different life.

We see him wrestling with Emmett, so there's a bond of friendship there, but I never saw it as a particularly deep one. They'll wrestle, play games, but they never have the hard and difficult conversations in life.

He and Alice have their relationship, but there doesn't seem to be anything really holding them together. The conversations they need to have don't happen, and Alice manipulates his life like a piece on a chessboard, and he consents because he has no trust left in himself at all.

We see Jasper despair to Carlisle in Breaking Dawn that Bella, a newborn, has better control than him but this seems to be an extreme moment for him. It doesn't seem like he and Carlisle are talking often even if, perhaps, they should if only to gain more perspective from one another.

Jasper didn't come to the coven for Alice, nor is that solely the reason he stays, but he very much is an outsider and the one who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of them.

Rosalie

Rosalie is very invested in the family itself. She loves these people, even the ones that aren't so hot on her.

Yes, she wishes she and Alice had an actual relationship, and is pissed off when Alice blows her off for Edward's human girlfriend of all things. Yes, she wishes that she and Edward could get along, but she sees him as the brother you sometimes have a rocky relationship with.

Point being, to her, they are very much a family and she strives to keep them together.

As for who she's actually close to, I'd say it's Emmett and Carlisle. Her relationship with Edward is tense at best and antagonistic at worst. She and Alice have virtually know relationship at all, Jasper keeps to himself, and we don't see her really connecting with Esme.

On the other hand, in terms of her education (pursuing all she can and especially getting her medical degree), her strict adherence to the diet, she seems to emulate Carlisle in all that she does. He's very much a father figure to her and someone she wishes to be like.

So, I do think Carlisle tells Rosalie he's proud of her and she beams up at him. That one I do very much see happening.

Emmett is her rock, the man who keeps her steady and pulled her out of misery, who loves her near unconditionally. For the wrong reasons, perhaps, but time will tell if that relationship works out for them.

Summing it Up

The Cullens are actually fairly disjointed. They may look like a single cohesive unit, and they are in a sense, but if you look closer they divide down into cliques and subgroups quite easily. Not one of them is equally close to all other Cullens, and most of them are strangers to at least one of them.

This perhaps isn't surprising, given I think the coven is ultimately doomed, but it lays the foundations as for why it's doomed. Edward tells us this himself, what holds them together (vs. other smaller covens) is the diet. Edward, of course, didn't mean it like this, but to me that spells a very tenuous bond. One that, with not much of a catalyst, will break.

And I don't think they're going to get to the point where they reach that family ideal.

First, they'd have to truly understand each other, and understanding Edward would break the coven. So that's not going good places.

More though, they're such different people who ultimately do not share common ideals. They don't want the same things in life and certainly not for the same reasons, and because of that they're not going to be incredibly close to every other person in the coven. And that's fine, they don't have to be.

To be honest, I'm not sure the family dynamic is something they should strive for. They already, mostly, care about one another deeply and do live together. Why should they emulate human families?

The place where it falls apart on them is that half of them don't know who the other is, they all think they have different values than they actually do, and Edward is Edward.

And there's no getting around Edward being Edward.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the cullens #anti the cullens #carlisle cullen #rosalie hale #esme cullen #alice cullen #anti alice cullen #jasper whitlock #emmett cullen #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion #cheerynoir

[hercleverboy]

Congrats!!! I love your writing!! I’d like to request a blurb with #36 from the general list and #41 from fluf 💕💕💕

thank you so much! enjoy! 

I don’t really like this piece too much, so please let me know what you think! 

wc ↠ 1.7k

General #36 ↠ “Do you trust me?” “No.”

Fluff #41 ↠ “You say you hate him but your red face is telling me otherwise.”

Spencer Reid had hated her from the moment he met her.

Y/N was absolutely sure of it. When they met for the first time when she joined the BAU, he seemed polite enough. Though he just never let her in the same way he let in the other team members. She understood at first, Spencer had known the rest of the team for years at that point. She even found herself incredibly attracted to the young genius, developing somewhat of a crush on him. His reputation certainly proceeded him, particularly when it came to his issues with germs, so she kept to herself. She understood it would take him time to get used to her, but where the rest of the team warmed to Y/N and accepted her as a part of their family; Spencer never did. 

During paperwork days when Y/N would get up to make coffee in the corner of the bullpen, Spencer would already be in the kitchenette, stirring his sugar in with intent. She’d always offer him a polite smile and some light conversation. However, it seemed that as soon as she started to speak, Spencer would pick up his coffee and head back to his desk. She let that go, thinking perhaps she was getting too much in his personal space, though it hung around in the back of her mind for weeks afterwards. 

 After cases when they’d get on the jet to go back home, she would take a seat opposite him, offer him a kind smile and then pull out a book to read, wholly intent on minding her own business. But Spencer, without even looking up at her, would simply get up and move to an empty seat at the other end of the jet.

Y/N exchanged a look with JJ, who had just shrugged in response. She couldn’t understand Spencer’s dislike for the woman who’d been nothing but kind, and who the team were all already incredibly fond of. She had good initiative, was brilliant in the field and had a capability to pick up on patterns earlier than the rest of them, sometimes even before the resident genius himself. The team suspected that Spencer’s supposed hatred for her was actually his poor attempt at disguising the fact that he was madly in love with her, but he never confirmed nor denied it. 

Then somehow, as if she didn’t already think Spencer hated her enough, it got worse. Any time she made contributions to their group conversations, Spencer would cut her off. It was belittling, honestly. It made her second guess her intelligence whenever she’d pose a theory. Every time, without fail, Spencer would pipe up and say, ‘You’re wrong. It’s actually more plausible that—‘ 

One day, they were sat around the roundtable, having finished debriefing after a long case. The team exchanged murmurs of plans to head down to the bar, with Garcia smiling enthusiastically and insisting that the first round was on her. Y/N had felt pretty awful for the majority of the case, and to top it off she was sure she was coming down with a cold too. 

“How about you, Y/L/N? You coming?” Morgan piped up, his usual smirk on his lips. 

She forced a smile, scoffing. “No, I think I’m just gonna head home, but thank you.” 

Morgan shook his head, determined. “Come on. Even Reid’s coming!” 

Y/N looked over at Spencer then, who busied himself with packing away items in his satchel, although she didn’t miss the scowl that seemed to plant itself on his face. She looked back to Morgan. “Sorry Morgan, I’m just not feeling it.” 

Morgan sighed, but still tried one last time, raising his eyebrows suggestively.  “You sure? It’ll be fun, maybe you and Reid will finally start getting along after a few drinks.” 

“Y/N bit her lip, shaking her head. “I’m sure there’s at least a hundred other people that Reid would rather spend the evening with.”

At that comment, Spencer threw his satchel strap over his shoulder and left the room in a hurry, a look on his face that seemingly resembled hurt. 

Y/N swatted Morgan’s shoulder playfully. “Look what you’ve done now! You know how much Reid hates me.” She whined. 

Morgan chuckled. “Please, Pretty Boy doesn’t hate you.” 

“Uh-huh, sure.” 

“It’s true! Don’t tell anyone I told you, but the team has an ongoing bet on when you two will finally admit your feelings for one another.” He leaned in closer to her. “And I’ve got $20 riding on it being in the summer, if you could help a guy out?” 

Y/N groaned at that. “Well be prepared to lose your money, it’s never going to happen. Spencer Reid hates me, and do you know what? I hate him too.” She said defiantly, although it was all too obvious that she was lying through her teeth. 

Morgan smiled, holding his hands up in surrender. “You say you hate him, but your red face is telling me otherwise.” 

Y/N just waved him off, ignoring how he chuckled at how flustered she’d gotten, and that was that. 

Reid’s quite frankly petty behaviour was really winding down on Y/N mentally, and although Hotch often told him off for his snarky comments or gave him the third degree for constantly trying to one-up her, Spencer persisted.

They’d been working on a new case for a week, and Garcia had just sent the team the location of where the unsub was holding his fourth victim hostage. Hopping out of the SUV’s, the team regrouped in front of the house as Hotch ran over the plan with them. 

“JJ, Morgan and Rossi, you’re with me. Y/L/N and Reid will take the back. We take the unsub in alive if possible, understand?” He instructed, everyone nodding as they reached for their guns. 

“Can’t you switch Morgan and Y/L/N over?” Spencer began to whine but was quickly shut down by Hotch shooting him a warning look. He scoffed, rolling his eyes in defeat. “Great.”

After entering through the back of the house, the two began checking each room they passed by. As they rounded a corner, stalking towards a closed door, Spencer moved so he was in front of Y/N, in what she noticed was an almost protective manner. He leaned closer to the door, listening intently for any sign that the unsub was inside. 

“Is he in there?” She whispered, and Spencer looked back at her, nodding. 

“I think so.” 

Y/N closed her eyes for a moment in thought, running over the important details of the profile in her head. “Do you trust me?” 

Spencer scoffed quietly. “No.”

“Well, you’re not going to have a choice.” She mumbled, and before Spencer realised what was happening, Y/N had burst open the door, her gun drawn. 

*

Y/N was stood in the local police station’s conference room, collecting together files and taking down crime scene photos from the evidence board. The case had ended well. Based off of the profile, Y/N had decided that the best course of action was to confront the unsub head on- and it worked, too. Hotch had already told her that she’d done well that day, and that made her heart swell with pride. But Spencer? He hadn’t said anything on the ride back to the police station, busying himself with other things as they prepared to head back home. 

Y/N sighed at the thought, looking up from the evidence board just as Spencer entered the room. He immediately turned around, heading back out the door when she called out for him. 

“Reid!” 

He stopped, turning back around. “What, Y/L/N?” 

“What is your problem with me?” She asked, exasperated. She was so tired of just accepting his mistreatment, and she refused to do it any longer. 

“I don’t have time for this.” He shook his head, turning to leave again. 

“Spencer Reid! You’ve made my life hell since I first joined the Bureau and god help me, you are going to tell me what your problem is!”

“My problem?” He countered, his jaw clenched. “My problem is you! Putting yourself in danger like that without a second thought for the consequences.” 

“The consequences? It turned out fine! My plan worked!” She bit back, voice rising. 

“It was stupid and reckless, you know better than that.” He spat, making Y/N scoff. 

“Why do you care?” She shouted frustratedly. “You can barely stand to be in the same room as me, and for the life of me Spencer I cannot figure out what it is that I did to make you hate me so much!”

Spencer’s defensive stance dropped, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find appropriate words. “Y/N, I know you think I do, but I don’t hate you.” 

She gave a humourless chuckle. “Yeah, well you could’ve fooled me.” She sighed, hands running over her face as she attempted to calm herself down. “I don’t understand why me putting myself in danger bothers you so much-”

“Maybe because I love you!”

The silence that fell between them only lasted a handful of seconds. Spencer, prompted by the look of shock on Y/N’s face, scrambled to explain himself. 

“I don’t hate you. I-I don’t really think I could if I tried.” He reiterated, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his. “I’ve loved you since the day I first met you.”

She swallowed, her mouth suddenly so dry. “I don’t understand-“

“I’m so sorry, I know how poorly I’ve treated you. The only explanation I can offer is that I was so sure you wouldn’t feel the same that I thought it would be better to push you away than face rejection.” He whispered, moving closer to her, shame in his tone. 

“You love me?” She murmured in disbelief. The words barely left her lips, so faint and shaky that Spencer nearly hadn’t heard her. 

He laughed quietly, as though he was laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “Yes, yes I do. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.” 

He’d moved to stand before her, the two of them looking at one another in absolute awe that they both felt the same way. Spencer’s eyes trailed down to her lips, moving back up to meet her eyes. 

Y/N didn’t know how to respond, looking up at him incredulously. “Spencer..”

He bit down his lip, the words leaving his lips in a whisper. “Would it- would it be alright if I kissed you?” 

She was nodding before she’d even processed his words, and when his lips met hers- it was euphoric. Like they were simply meant to be. 

Perhaps Spencer Reid wasn’t that bad after all.

#kate writes blurbs☘️ #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x y/n #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #mgg x reader #mgg #criminal minds

[prof-peach]

Out of all of the pokemon you have taken care of, which one do you think it was the hardest to deal with? Be cuz they were in a pretty bad shape, or just personality wise?

We get rumbunctious and rowdy Pokemon all the time, our works nature brings them to us probably more than any other issue, outside of grass Pokemon care and management. Anger and nervousness is something we have a good hold of here, and try to help iron out of various species. I do a lot of that work, and on occasion, Grey will do the odd water type with these problems, as I tend to shy away from those. For the most part, they are short stint stays, a couple months, to a couple years helping them to rewire their anger into a more productive feeling or energy. That being said, there’s alwasy the odd Pokemon who comes our way who’s just a step above the rest. So here’s some stories of the ones who have had to stay with us, for their temperament and behaviour.

On the north side of the island, we house the biggest, meanest Pokemon, and the individuals who are very timid and nervous around people. We do this to ensure they have space to live undisturbed in peace, but also to protect guests and visitors from being eaten, crushed, blasted, or otherwise harmed. Some of the northern residents are difficult yes, but most are just stroppy or uncomfortable with the majority of humans, but there are a handful that are actively engaged in harming or hunting people.

One such Pokemon is a rather nasty tempered Drampa, he came to us about five or so years ago now, kindly donated by being abandoned on our shores, it’s original trainer leaving the ball and hopping on a boat without alerting us, or letting the individual know. We figured it would be possible to rehome it, they’re usually a rather reasonable Pokemon to handle, considering their typing. We were wrong. This Pokemon when let out of the ball, went on a monsterous rampage for four days, destroying forests, toppling buildings, blasting holes in the mountain to try to burrow away, and picking fights with anything it’s size or bigger, often causing great harm to others. The island didn’t rest for that entire time, most Pokemon cowering from it, bigger species trying to halt them, all in vain. It took an entire troop of grass Pokemon using sleep powder to knock it out, the Drampa moved about so fast, one single grass type didn’t stand a chance to produce enough spores in time. It took a lot of work but we knocked the old boy out, and got a good look at him. His body was riddled with arthritis, not medicated, he would thrash about and cause himself so much pain and discomfort. He had overgrown nails, the feet hidden in the fur they have around their torso, often overlooked, and it’s ability to fly was limited because of its general condition and state. We began helping it, medicating it’s aislments, aiding it’s inflamed joints, but it never really calmed down, so now it chills out alone on the coast of the north side, left well alone, it doesn’t even like the company of other Pokemon.

We’ve done our best to interact with it, to socialise it, to generally get it use to people enough to do medical checks, but it’s still very resistant. We have decided that after two years of hard work, and it being tolerant to me, at least to check it’s health and wellbeing, that it’s best to let it live it’s life unbothered. Many would push a Pokemon to be a perfect social being, but we don’t believe it’s necessary for happiness. Some species are happy to be away from others, I wouldn’t push a human to be social, I know how awful that can be, so we didn’t force the individual to be around others either. It’s not that it’s unhappy, we spot it from time to time sitting on the rocks by the ocean, humming to itself, and the small pidgey and tailow that come by don’t bother it, and even give mild brief conversation. He seems ok, the medicine given means he’s in less pain, despite still having stiffness, and in the winter we’ve built him a unique space, rocky cover much like a cave, just above a Macargo hide where they lay eggs. The heat from those Pokemon keep its cave very hot, and help in the cold to ease the joint aches. The two species have different entrances, making sure they never meet within the hide at any point. There’s a good slab of rock dividing them, so it’s not an issue, and saves us having to pipe hot water over that far for him. He eats well, has a few items he’s kept from the labs, a toy sentret, and a large red ball, and generally is in a good place to live out his life in peace now.

Another difficult member would be a particularly timid Slazzle, gifted to us by a police member who had confiscated it from a rather mean individual close to her home town, they had been hurting the poor Pokemon, forcing it to produce an insane amount of poison liquid, throwing water on the poor thing every time it tried to ignite to retaliate, generally abusing the poor thing for its life, apparently it had been locked away since it was a young unevolved Pokemon. They’d been harvesting the poisons from the Slazzle and dropping it into various water sources to try to control the local Pokemon population, as they blamed the wild ones for the state of their land, and diminished crops yield from their allotment. Jokes on them, that water poisoning affected them too, and their garden died very quickly, and made the man quite sick through consumption of the crops he grew there. The slazzle is still very skittish, will hide at any given moment, we’ve seen her ignite an entire building in one move, and then bolt away through the flames to lose our line of sight. She managed to stay hidden for two weeks on the island, before we caught sight of her again. Generally she’s just a case fo neglect but we have been working with her now for a long while, 3 ish years, and her temperament is at least manageable amongst our staff. We have found her others of her kind to help her settle, and she’s become good friends with a Wartortle who came from the same area, they bond over memories of the place, and seem very happy in each others company.

We’ve found ways to keep her grounded, but she never goes near people when we have open days, slinks off through the big fence to the north side, and waits out the visiting hours until night. They’re not usually nocturnal but she likes the night, and spends her time looking about, foraging and feeding in the later hours. If you’re quiet you can catch her moving around the forests and the base of the mountains here, talking with the occasional individual, she seems to enjoy Murkrow too, their company seems to keep her quite social, as they usually move in large flocks here. She may never be rehomed, but for now we try to socialise her, we don’t battle her, and she has a very calm and peaceful nook to go to when she’s having a rough time. We make sure to provide support where possible, and though she’s a little skittish she’s somewhat happy to have myself and Grey, even Pari take a look at any wounds or scrapes she may gain while living here. She’s become trusting enough to come to us if we call, and who knows, maybe someone will come our way who she takes an interest in. There’s hope for her yet, we have however become quite fond of her, and she’s part of the furniture now. It may end up that she never leaves, and lives her life in peace here, surrounded by people and Pokemon who love her. Her panic makes her very difficult to pass to another trainer, and she’s prone to spitting up huge quantities of toxic liquid when spooked, and bolts at a slight bang or rumble.

One I have kept back for a number of reasons, is a rather mean tempered Aerodactyl. Normally we get Pokemon sent to us, but this one I ended up finding myself, some circus had her chained up in a box hardly big enough to turn around in, an attraction to the masses as they travelled through the area. The leader of that troop was particularly awful, treating Pokemon as commodities, items to be bought and sold, used as toys in his big performances. Boiled my blood. We called her Zeplin, and after 12 years she has still got a nasty temper on her, when not focused on a task. Her condition when we first found her was quite something, tattered wings, unable to fly straight at all, and she was littered with cuts and bruises, not in good health. Val has melted the chains that bound her, and the lock in her cage, and she just went, like a bat out of hell, flew off, blasting the tent that hid her quarters, burning a lot of the circus as she went. Little did I know, my foot was in one of the chain links, and I got dragged off with her, the ground, Val, all my other team mates, falling from my pocket, or being left on the floor where we had once been standing. She flew, and kept going, not aware I was still attached, you could see her wings were having a hard time catching the breeze, littered with holes and tears, she went for about two hours, I nearly froze that high up, trying to get a good grip on what chain was left so I didn’t come falling from that height. We came to a very sudden crash landing, she hadn’t had much chance to practice the whole take off - land thing from the feel of it, we both ate dirt, and she became very aware that I was there all of a sudden.

I had about three seconds while she assessed my presence, to get out of the chain, and dive behind a rock that gave me cover from an almighty blast of energy, chipping away bits, catching my arm a little. Trust me when I say, it’s terrifying coming face to face with something that stands a fair few meters taller than you, with more teeth and claws than you’re comfortable with dealing with, with none of your Pokemon, no weaponry, no real plan or cover other than a rock. How she didn’t eat me, I don’t know. Perhaps she knew it was me that let her go, maybe she just ran out of energy, but for whatever reason, she made a few bits and tail lashes at me, missed the lot, and gave up, turning to stomp off into the forests around us. She was still shackled with heavy irons, one on the neck, two on the legs, and was in serious condition, so I did the stupid thing and followed her, tried to sneak my way behind, though every now and then she would look towards me, and try to focus on my form in the dark of night now. It was a few days, she had stalked some prey, fed, and was starting to ooze from some wounds. Though the circus was unkind, they were providing her with medication that stopped further infections occurring, perhaps a scarred beast of great size drew more punters, maybe they were just making sure she survived to make them money, I still don’t know.

I hunted herbs, dug out roots with rocks, used river water, and common berries and managed to fashion some kind of salve, nothing amazing, especially back at that age, but it would work, I knew it would because I used it on my own wounds first. Just had to convince her it was a good thing to let me get close. Not an easy task. We physically brawled, she was clearly spent, not able to use any attacks, just thrashing about, I managed to trip her with the chains still attached to her legs, and once downed, you can jump on the head of these Pokemon to keep the jaws shut, just long enough to lather the wounds you can reach, then bolt fast. It was a small act, but she took off running again. With some wounds sort of cared for, I followed again, fishing for dinner, forraging roots to chew on. It wasn’t much but it kept me going, then one night, where I had climbed to a crook of a large tree, using my jacket to tie myself in for a nights sleep, I was awoken by loud rustling, thudding of feet, and a mighty huff.

Below where I sat, the Pokemon had returned, being no doubt well aware of my presence, following the smell of human, she had noticed the salve do a good job on the wounds I managed to reach, but the ones I couldn’t get near had become far worse, red, inflamed and weeping terribly, no doubt hurting and itching. I’d seen her rubbing her sides in the day, itching gasinst rocks and trees, smearing blood and ooze along her path as she trudged. So here we were, alone in the woods, I veeeeery carefully climbed down, staying in cover as much as possible, and over the space of an hour or two, she let me come out into the open, teeth bared yeah, but she hadn’t attacked, and other than a very uncomfortable, low growl, she allowed me to creep closer, some more of that salve made more for my own wounds than hers, being sniffed at, she licked it too, but wasn’t happy with the taste, very bitter, and I was cautiously optimistic, allowed to help her heal the rest of the cuts she had acquired from her old home. So we began our....I want to say friendship but that wasn’t it, it was a collaboration to survive.

We had landed somewhere far from others, I missed my team, and she had never experienced anything outside of the cage, and so we banded together, tentatively. We caught dinner as a team, and climbed for fruits, foraged for berries, reapplying what loose form of medicine I managed to make, before coming to some kind of comfortable companionship together. A week passed, wandering without a clue where we were, before a path was found, she seemed to want to avoid it, and while I wasn’t keen on people much either, it was impossible not to want to find my team again. They needed me, and I needed them. If they had been found, a police officer or the likes may have sent them to my original professor, waiting to be called from the PC system again, but knowing Val, she had grabbed the balls, my things, and bolted to hide, waiting for my return. In desperation I tried to explain this to the Aerodactyl, who had not experienced a trainers care before, and seemed reluctant to return.

It was only upon mentioning revenge, to burn the circus to the ground, that I regained her attention, and we came to a slow agreement to get aid, gather items, and return to where she had been released from. She waited in the forest while I went to town, checking my PC space to see if my team had been handed in, which they had! It was lucky, I was reunited with Val (vulpix), Booker (teddiursa), and Potato (bulbasaur) who I took back, and returned to the woods with.

We had to get some revenge, and in turn we devised a plan to free the Pokemon first, sneak in and pick the locks, melt the chains and gates, and then finally, let the aerodactyl do her thing once the vulnerable individuals were loose. I did my best to hold back my own personal rage, and simply aid the demise of a group who were awful towards Pokemon through this one big flying type. I wint go into details but no one perished in the fire, they were arrested and charged for unsafe work conditions, and abuse towards Pokemon, not to mention false advertising, having no worker’s Compensation in pace for injury, which many staff complained of, and several incidents of sexual harassment in the work place that were brought to light.

Once one started to talk, the others all joined in, and the fire was put down to unsafe working conditions and a lack of health and safety. From what I heard, the whole circus worth of Pokemon were rehomed, helped and generally lived much better lives after that. However now we had one very mistrusting angry Aerodactyl on our hands, a Pokemon I had not worked with before, who had seemingly become quite tolerant of me, but would snap at just about anyone who clocked eyes with her. So I kind of just kept her, no ball, not for a fair few years, we both didn’t think it was important. She was nursed back to health, and we had to go through a lot of training together, she bit booker once quite badly, but we’ve all put that in the past, and have worked on it together.

She is still testing, she won’t be ridden by anyone else, she doesn’t care for other Pokemon much, crowds will spook her, she doesn’t like when people talk with raised voices or hostile tones, and gets real irritable if you come at her in any kind of way that isn’t open handed, calm and slowly. She’s now a very capable flier, wings healed up, spending her first half of life locked up made her long for the open sky, so now we take time together to go off and ride winds when work is slow, and she’s helped in many ways to make the island functional, by moving logs, clearing paths, helping lift building materials around, and generally being there for me when I’m full of rage, which is actually annoyingly often. We’re anger buddies hah, kind of get on the same level with it. She’s become so much part of my family, and I feel like i’m part of hers now too, so I doubt she’d be rehomed, but should she find somewhere she would rather be, we wouldn’t stop her going. She is difficult, angry, snappy, tempermental, difficult, won’t be touched by strangers, likes to fight, but I’d not change her, she’s our testing monster, who we love and adore.

Went off a bit, but I figured why not, I know her, and can write more about her life and story than the others.

#pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #long post

[therealvinelle]

hi! I absolutely love all your twilight metas! something I'm curious about: what do you think about jacob and his relationship to bella?

There’s this post addressing mostly Jacob. For this post I’ll be getting more into Jacob/Bella.

I don’t think they’re in love.

On Jacob’s end, Bella is at first a girl he’s lowkey crushing on. She’s a girl, she’s pretty, and she’s fun to talk to. He gets butterflies around her, as most teenaged boys would. 

Then we get to New Moon, and Bella is a depressed damsel who comes to rely on Jacob. That by itself makes them more than friends, they’re something more intimate than that. More, they hang out every single day, and again I have to point out that Jake is male and Bella is an attractive female.

So, you have a beautiful damsel that Jacob hangs out with all the time, and that crush was pretty serious. However, while this was definitely the precursor to love, I hesitate to call it actual love because that’s a deeper and more serious thing that they quite frankly didn’t really have the time develop.

According to the timeline on the Twilight wiki, it was on January 17th that Bella came to Jake with the motorcycles, and at some point in February that he phased, with Laurent’s death happening that same month. Now, I don’t entirely trust this timeline when it comes to pre-series events, but the events of New Moon are so tightly packed that even if these dates are wrong, Bella’s zombie pages of months passing and St. Marcus’ Day being celebrated on the 19th of March (in real life it’s the 25th of April) narrows the time span down considerably. Jake and Bella had a hard maximum of six weeks to hang around as humans before he phased, though most likely less.

My point with all this being that I never got the feeling Jake’s feelings for Bella were particularly serious. They didn’t get the chance to be.

As for Bella, she’s trying to claw her way out of a crippling depression, romance really is the last thing on her mind. Jacob became very important to her, but that’s not the same as romantic love.

We then get to Jake phasing. He finds out that all the stories about terrifying, blood-drinking demons that his father told him were real, that they’d been in his neighboring town preying on Bella, and that she was under their thumb. More importantly, Jacob hates being a werewolf with every fibre of his being, and it’s not something he can in any way escape. His father, his friends, his community, his very own blood, it’s all entangled with his new and unwanted identity. Bella, as a white girl from the neighboring town who comes to talk about garages, is a reprieve from all of that. We see it in his “I don’t want to disappear” speech: he latches on to Bella and allows her to become the only good thing in his life. His sun, if you will.

Then we get to Eclipse, the Cullens are back, and Bella is right back in their claws. This by itself is terrible news on every level, as Jacob has competition, his girl is consorting with his ancestral enemy, the time they spent together is invalidated as Bella instantly forgives Edward for the hell he put her through, and overnight Jake loses this person he has allowed himself to depend on. 

These things are a very bad mix.

Bella then casually drops the “oh and they’re turning me into a soulless demon in a few months!”

For reference, these excerpts are from “Being Jacob Black”, a sixteen-page rant Meyer released, written entirely in second person (yes, I died inside). It contains these very telling observations on how Jake sees vampires:

“The little vampire seems very upset, and this surprises you. You hadn’t realized they had much in the way of emotions. You’re revolted and amazed at how comfortable Bella and Alice seem to be touching each other. You would have thought the vampire would not be able to touch humans that way without hurting them. And Bella is so at ease with Alice - able to interact with her like Alice is human. Bella seems to see her that way - like a person, almost.”

(...)

“It’s actually easier to speak with her than you would have thought - she reacts and speaks like a human, though her appearance is frighteningly alien. To your sharp eyes, she’s like a moving crystal, all angles and shine.”

(Let’s just take a moment to appreciate how incredibly gay that first paragraph is. So Alice is touching Bella that way, alright.)

Jacob doesn’t see Alice as human, or anything resembling it. As far as he’s concerned, she’s a humanoid demon. He’s surprised she has emotional range and capable of conversation.

With this in mind, when Bella informs him she wants to become like Alice it’s dire news. Bella’s not just becoming a monster, she’s becoming something that can barely be considered alive. And he knew it would come to this, but she’s planning to do it in just a few weeks. I’d bring out the book quote from when Bella tells him, but I don’t have it at hand at the second, and I remember it well enough - Jacob thought he had more time, and gets so angry he nearly phases.

Shit is now real.

Jake has to get the girl, or she’ll be cursed forever and he’ll have lost this girl who is his light in life.

This is where his age comes in.

He casts himself in the light of the underdog. It’s not quite a storybook, except it kind of is - Bella is with someone who is as bad for her as he could possibly be, and this guy is going to destroy her. Enter Jake, the underdog prince who’ll save her. He’ll succeed because he has to, the world would be too cruel otherwise. Of course the underdog gets the girl!

More, he fully believes that he will, because he fully believes he’s the one Bella really loves. She just doesn’t know it, but they’re in love. How could they not be?

There’s also the fact that Jacob is watching this girl he grew up with, who is so incredibly important to him, important to his father as well, throw her life away to become a demon, and the only way he knows to stop her, the only argument he can come up with, is love. It’s very melodramatic, very teenage-y, and ultimately insufficient.

Because while Bella loves him on a platonic level, and finds him attractive (though she doesn’t seem attracted to him, and that there is a difference), she never comes to love him romantically. He manages to convince her that she does, but I never see anything beyond deep feelings of friendship. She never longs to kiss his lips, never admires his beauty, never blushes because he touched her. Her response to him is consistently platonic.

And so Jacob fights a battle he was never going to win.

#long post #jacob black #bella swan #bella/jacob #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight #rynliadon #ask

[rainnorshinee]

a terrible landing

warnings: lucy centric, non-linear storyline, introspective (?) story telling, vague references to lucys horrible life before l&co (including neglect and abuse as well as references to the wythburn mill incident), vague suicidal thoughts, vague description of mental illness not otherwise specified and derealisation in one sentence, overuse of italics, hopeful ending, idk how long this is but it’s long so watch out for that!! a/n in tags feel free to ignore, I think I tagged anything potentially triggering but lmk if I missed something, this was formatted on mobile sorry if it breaks

tl;dr a look at what Lucy was perhaps feeling throughout the series without filtering her emotions through an autobiography.

(fourteen)

She never tells them.

Not really.

Sure, at one point she cracks open; it’s after a particularly gruesome case, once they’re back in the safety of their kitchen after a short night of (staring at the ceiling, of counting spiderwebs and hearing screams that aren’t there anymore) sleep. She’s bleary eyed and tired in a way that sits deep in her bones

(tired in a way that she knows no amount of sleep can fix, tired in a way she knows she’ll never get rid of) and she holds a warm mug of tea in her shaking hands and she tells them.

“My last team died.”

And Lockwood looks up from the newspaper he’d been reading and George all but chokes on his crumpet and really she doesn’t even know why she’s opened her mouth in the first place but what’s done is done so she keeps talking.

“Our supervisor didn’t believe me when I told him something was off and they payed the price. So if we ever get into a situation like last night again, and I tell you…that…that there’s something else going on…” and she forces herself to look into their eyes and she finds something in Lockwoods eyes that feels a shade too familiar and it’s like she’s been burned, “just trust me alright. Don’t…don’t start arguing with me. I know what I’m doing. Last night was close.”

And it’s not the truth, or it is but not all of it because how could she ever talk about it? how could she ever admit to what she’s done, to what she didn’t do? but it’s all she can say, a promise and a warning and gods she can’t do this anymore why aren’t they running why aren’t they kicking her out already gods why

She takes a sip of her tea and continues to doodle onto the thinking cloth.

So they know but they don’t understand because as much as she wants someone to relate to her pain, to understand what she’s been through, to understand, she can’t bring herself to speak about what it felt like, what it still feels like to this day. The most she can muster is the same kind of emotional detachment they use when talking about a case: this is what happened, this is why I left.

And it’s not like her friends (because that’s what they are now, friends) can relate.

Lockwood barely talks about his family or about his past but George brought his family to visit and he fit right in, didn’t flinch away when George’s father laughed so hard she swore she could feel the ground shake, and didn’t just stand there uselessly when his mother gave them a big hug and-

It’s like they can’t comprehend that certain kids don’t get homesick, that certain kids don’t get birthday cakes and warm handshakes and I’m proud of yous

And while she and Lockwood might carry around a grief similar enough, this is something that sets them apart: Lockwood had a family, had the same warmth that is so evident in George, the warmth that comes from being loved, truly loved, all your life, and something happened, something he won’t talk about, but he still remembers what it felt like, like a language almost forgotten, grown rusty from lack of use but one he can still speak given the chance

(A language that Lucy never got to learn)

So she doesn’t tell them, and when she tries the words turn to ash on her lips.

(And she goes home to visit her family every now and then it’s less about her and more about them)

(eleven)

Lucy is eleven, barely a few months into her training as an agent when she receives her first rapier.

It’s an old hand-me-down, dull and a little rusty at the edges and she spends her first day polishing it and holding it and carrying it around with her proudly because she’s an actual agent now and perhaps finally, finally her mother will just look at her-

It’s her older sister, Jane, who pulls her aside. “Don’t,” she says, her hand gripping her shoulder, “don’t walk around with- with it- on display like that.”

And horribly naive Lucy had turned her head and quietly asked “but…why?”

It doesn’t take long for her to figure it out. Whenever she carries her rapier with her, the people she meets on the street look at her with a mixture of fear and disgust; like she’s carrying some horrible contagious disease. They pull their kids away from her, they cross the street if need be and they talk, they whisper about her and about how she looks and how could anyone do this to their own child how could anyone send their kid into their certain death

Lucy is half a year into her training when she gets her very own rapier.

Her mother doesn’t attend the ceremony.

Neither do her sisters.

(fifteen)

She’s never learned to apologise.

Not in words (they sit at the back of her throat and taste like bitter medicine and burn her tongue like hot tea) anyways and perhaps not in actions either.

She grew up with six older sisters after all, with seven women and seven strong personalities and so perhaps it’s not surprising that she’s never learned where the line not to be crossed is.

Sisters have a way at hitting you where it hurts, of saying words in just the right way so they can knock the wind out of your lungs and there are no limits when you spend your life trying to survive, trying to scramble by on scraps of attention and love and

She doesn’t apologise. Wasn’t raised around apologies, wasn’t raised around I’m sorrys and please forgive mes and I didn’t mean to hurt yous. Instead she’s received I made your favourite breakfasts and I’m going to the shops do you want anythings or I cleaned your room while you where outs.

And around her friends it’s quickly become the same. When you spent your nights looking out for one another, saving each others lives things like gratitude or apologies lose their meaning; Lucy doesn’t have to tell George she’s sorry for eating his favourite snack or for a screaming match gone too far. It’s an unspoken thing between the three of them to forgive and to forget because grudges can and will get you killed.

Holly, though, is different. Holly grew up civilised, in a stable home with parents that say sorry when they screw up and Holly has never felt ashamed for having emotions or had a need for placing practicality over wants and Holly expects apologies after bad fights because Holly, it seems, has drawn a line of things she’s willing to put up with (something about healthy boundaries, the skull whispers in her ears, about a healthy lifestyle about putting yourself first) and Lucy can’t help but feel admiration as well as rage when she looks at her.

Lucy doesn’t do apologies and she sure as hell doesn’t talk about her feelings.

(Not that anyone ever cared to ask about them before)

(Not that she’s ever been allowed to before)

So she doesn’t apologise, not until it’s almost entirely to late and even then it’s not even because she particularly regrets the things she’s said (liarliarliarliarliar) but because she’s facing certain death and she’s already got her friends killed once and she can’t deal with that again can’t survive that again not again please

So when the poltergeist plucks her from her place on the ground and throws her through the air there is a second, a dark horrible second she’ll never admit to anyone, where all she can think is good

(fourteen)

“State your name and age for the record.” The man in charge says and she tries to ignore the glass shards in the back of her throat, tries to ignore the gaping hole where her heart is supposed to be, the empty void that’s been growing in her, as she opens her mouth to answer.

She’s alone, because of course she is: her mother is at work and her sisters are…somewhere (at school or at work or at the shops or something) and she’s decidedly alone.

None of the other kids parents are there either, busy with funeral preparations or the stupid monument they’re building to honour their loss or mourning; anything but bringing the man responsible for all of this to justice-

So Lucy stands alone, but she stands, hands curled into tight fists, nails digging into worn skin and the words fall out of her mouth like smoke and turn her into a traitor because nothing will ever go back to the way it was before and there’s no way to take back these words now that they’re out there.

“Lucy Carlyle, age 14.”

(“Don’t testify.” Peggys mother tells her just half a day after she agrees to serve as prime witness, a little less than a day after the incident and that’s perhaps the worst part, the fact that she can split her life into a before and after now. “Don’t testify against Jacobs. Let’s her Rest in peace.”

“But-“ Lucy tries to argue but she, face so similar to that of her daughter, of someone Lucy considered her friend just the night prior, doesn’t let her finish her thought.

“Agents Jacobs has done so much for our family, for this town and the surrounding villages and this…” she vaguely gestures into the air “this won’t do anyone any good. Peggy she…she wouldn’t want this.”

And it’s then that Lucy realises that society expects her to be an agent first, a human, a daughter, a friend, something more than magnesium flares and salt bombs and late nights and everything else that might’ve made her a person, second.

“that’s where you’re wrong.” Lucy says and she doesn’t need her talent to know she’s right.)

“Well Miss Carlyle.” The man says. “Tell us about that night.”

And she pulls herself up to her full height and she does.

(sixteen)

“You look like trash.” The Skull says.

“Why thank you.” She answers. “You always know just what to say to make me feel better.”

Her apartment is small and cluttered and hasn’t seen a dusting rag or a broom in months and it’s so cold no matter how many warm sweaters she pulls over her head or how much she adjusts the heating. It’s not her apartment she realises then, it’s her.

She’s cold. She’s cold and alone and tired, gods she so tired, and when she isn’t working or forces herself to eat she’s laying in her bed with the blanket pulled up all the way to her chin and the blinds shut. During those days, the in between good days, as she’s taken to calling them the skull is her only source of light; green misty plasma throwing grotesque shadows onto the walls. And it’s during those days that the skull is almost…kind.

Now Lucy would rather admit to having no friends then acknowledge that It is probably the closest thing she has left to one, but a part of herself can’t help but laugh at the irony: a ghost hunter with a ghost as a friend.

(There’s a metaphor in there somewhere.)

“Would you rather me lie to you?” It asks, mock hurt. “I thought we were closer than that.”

“Thanks.” She says and curls up on top of her bed.

“I’m telling you,” It says. “I got your back. Carlyle & Skull and all that.”

And the sentiment, as flat out stupid as it is (because they’re not friends, they can never be friends), does warm something in her just barely. Soothes something raw in her soul, rests something inside she didn’t know was unsettled.

Carlyle & Skull. It sounds like a promise (you’re not getting rid of me no matter how hard you try) and it sounds like a challenge (go on try to get me killed too) and it sounds like a fragile sort of trust, like someone understands, someone who knows what it’s like.

(I won’t die for you I never could but I’ll live for you perhaps, I will stay for a while until you’re ready to move on and I will listen to whatever you want to say)

(And when you grow tired of it all I’ll keep you company.)

(thirteen)

Her first ghost is her father.

That might not be true actually: as a child she’s had problems separating the living from the dead so perhaps she’s seen a different ghost before her old man and simply didn’t realise.

She’ll never tell anyone this, she promises herself, but her father stands outside their home every night like a shadow and he peers up into the house. He never moves and he doesn’t hurt anyone and Lucy can’t help but feel gratitude for the fact that he’ll never be able to hurt anyone ever again when she sprinkles salt onto the street and at the station where he died. And eventually he vanishes and never shows up again and it’s only after that, that an invisible pressure that seemed to lay on her family vanishes too.

But her first ghost is her father, the same man that made her feel like a ghost, and something about that does have a (long) lasting effect on her.

Sometimes, when it’s quiet out, she thinks she can still hear him in the way the wind plays with her curtains or through the static of the outside lights.

(sixteen)

She’s dying.

Which is funny because a part of her is convinced she died a long time ago in a haunted Mill, is convinced she dies every night she’s out there facing her worst fears, is convinced something in her broke and died screaming, and never mended even when the rest of her didn’t stay dead, refused to die without a fight.

And maybe she isn’t dying, not really, but she’s come so close these past few weeks that it feels like she is.

There’s a scar running down the length of her arm now, and these days sounds of glasshouses breaking and Harold screaming (it’s your fault it’s your fault it’s your faultyourfaultyourfaultyourfault) wake her from her shallow dreams and the Skull is gone and perhaps that’s the worst part (it’s not, not really, because someone tried to-

and Harold Mailer is-

And)

A part of her screams it wants to rest. It’s the same treacherous part of her that told her to stop running after she escaped, that told her to give up, to lay down and accept her fate, the part that, ironically, keeps her going instead.

(It’s spite.)

But now, on the Other Side, everything seems even worse. Sort of. Kind of.

Like she’s looking at the world through a warped lens. And all she can think about is how wrong it all looks.

(It’s not real. It can’t be)

She holds onto Lockwood, onto the warmth of his hand and fights against the tiredness, the weight she carries that seems to get worse with every step.

(fourteen)

Lucy Carlyle has known George Cubbins for a grand total of five minutes and yet the urge to punch him in the face is getting harder and harder to control.

It’s honestly, truly, remarkable, how he seems to find exactly the worst things to say, at the worst times and Lucy is convinced he’s doing it on purpose because no one can be that bad at talking to people and gods this must be some sort of test because-

And he says something like Listeners are too emotional and she isn’t even really listening anyways but

It’s then that she can hear the blood pumping through her ears and her vision sort of tunnels? and wow throwing her cup of (bad, cheap warmwarmwarmwarmwarm) tea has never been more tempting.

Because she’s expected comments like these from people that don’t know or don’t remember what it’s like: from adults that give her a tired smile at best (that look at her like a child but expect her to act like an adult) and poorly concealed contempt at worse. Not from an active agent, not from someone that’s supposed to be on her side, that’s supposed to know

(The truth is: nobody really knows, nobody except the few gifted with her cursed talent and even among Listeners there is an unspoken rule of keeping quiet, of never telling anyone, of never even exchanging whispers of just what hearing feels like)

(They feel the same external pressure, the same judging looks, feel the way the world holds their breath and watches and places their bets on who’ll lose their mind first, who’ll hear and reach a point of no return-)

She places her tea cup back on the table and reaches for a biscuit.

(She’d promised herself the day of the hearing that she’d never show emotion ever again, that she’d never cry in front of anyone again, that she’d never cry again full stop.)

(She’s a Listener and here is another truth: Listeners don’t get to feel things, Listeners don’t get to cry and complain and get scared if they want to keep working. It’s a painful truth but one necessary for her to know because what else does she have left? What else can she do? There’s no place for people like her in this world, no way to earn money besides being an agent, no other way than to risk your life)

(there is, a cowardly voice whispers, just step back, let other people go, and it sounds a lot like agent jacobs)

(fifteen)

She leaps into the air and the wind grabs her and in the split second before it all comes crashing down she can already see how it’s going to end.

(It’s

going

to

be a

terrible

landing)

Someone screams and she’s surprised to find it’s not her and that one horrible part of her sings

(finally, finally, we all get what we deserve eventually)

and somewhere the skull says something and george is-

and later she’ll say she lost consciousness but the truth is she remembers, remembers the way her heart was in her throat and how it felt to plummet ten, twenty, thirty meters down, down, down only to get thrown up into the air again before falling into a darkness so deep she was sure that she was falling straight to hell

(fifteen)

Breakfast is horrible because food tastes like ash and she always feels full these days and so horribly empty at the same time.

George keeps looking at her (he’s never been subtle) like he’s waiting for her to say something but what could she say? How could she explain, how could she apologise for endangering them yet again? How could she ever make up for what has happened and gods how can she stay awake when there’s a mountain crushing her but how can she sleep when all she can see is that horrible ghost and how-

“Are you alright?” Lockwood asks and usually that would make her feel better but now it makes her sick.

“I’m fine.” She answers because she is, there’s no reason for her to act like this, not when it’s all her fault and

even the skull is quiet for once and

(There’s this voice in the back of her mind, the same voice she heard almost three years ago when she ran and never looked back and it says what it always says:

Times up.)

She’s made her choice long before the argument starts.

(seventeen)

The Skull is gone.

A part of her knows this: the rationally thinking part of her tells her to let it go; to move on and be grateful she wasn’t the one to die that day. The rest of her, the part that hasn’t stopped sobbing since that final fight in the penthouse, holds onto a broken skull outside of it’s glass like a lifeline.

She carries it around with her everywhere.

I’m sorry, she wants to say. I’m sorry and I miss you and I never wanted you to die for me and thank you and you need to come back for Carlyle & Skull to work and you were my friend and I’m sorry

(sixteen)

Rotwell is going to-

He’s beating Lockwood and Lockwood-

He’s-

Rotwell will-

Somewhere behind her she can hear Harold scream, she can hear Peggy laugh and laugh and laugh and for a second it’s not Rotwell, it’s Agent Jacobs and she will not lose another friend, never again

(Isn’t that why she left in the first place?)

So she doesn’t think about it, when she kicks Rotwell right into the portal to the other side. And she never loses a second of sleep over it either.

(twenty-one)

At fourteen she’d never imagined to get this old.

She hasn’t talked to her sisters in years, and the thought of that used to make her sad. But if there’s one thing she’s learned from all this it’s that family isn’t supposed to make you sad. That perhaps certain relationships end because they’re meant to. That saying goodbye doesn’t have to hurt all the time, doesn’t have to be some grand self-sacrificing, self-loathing way of expressing care.

She’s twenty-one and she’s saved the world: the problem isn’t solved (quite yet) but no agent has died in the past three years and no new agencies are opening up and there is an end in sight and in a decade, perhaps, the problem will be nothing but a bad memory.

She’s twenty-one when she goes to visit home (and it’s not home, not really, it hasn’t been home in a long, long time) but not to see her family.

Instead she visits a stone, worn down from rain and snow and time, with fresh flowers tucked under her arm and a rusty practice rapier.

“Hey,” she says and sits down in front of it. “I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to visit. I hope you guys have been well.”

There’s no answer and she can’t help but smile at that, as her eyes travel across the text engraved into the stone, now barely readable. but she doesn’t need to read it for she knows what it says by heart.

In honour of the victims of the Wythburn Mill Incident.

#let me know if I need to tag anything else!! #so I have no idea what this is but it kinda hit me how Lucy barely shows emotions and also talks about pretty sad things clinically #so i wanted to write about what she probably actually felt like #you know without her pretending to be super strong #so this might feel ooc but to me it made sense #idk #also I don’t know how long this is but it’s like …. long #I’ve been reading a lot of these retro/introspective (??? what is the difference and am I using this correctly) fics #and that’s what inspired me #it’s really good I feel like and it’s my kinda writing style #I hope you enjoyed!!! #lockwood and co #lockwood & co. #Lucy Carlyle #Lucy centric #lockwood and co fanfic #vee rereads lockwood & co #tw death #tw abuse #tw neglect #tw mental illness #tw derealization #mine