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coralinnii · 1 year

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I love the villain scorned by the world feat: Malleus genre: drama, hurt/comfort, romance note: part 3 continuation of Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy AU Malleus ver, not gender specific reader, no pronouns used, villain/ess!reader is human, insecure villain/ess!reader, use of non-canon characters, 1.6k word count

I'm scared that people aren't gonna like how the villain/ess!reader is portrayed but I wanted to write people who are hurt and are afraid, cuz that's what being alive is like, to sometimes be afraid. So, hope you enjoy!

There are requests with more specific topics or aspects of the story so they may get their own story post. I'm not ignoring you, I'm more story pacing ^^"

In one night alone, you’ve met your ex-fiancé and your former friends while you were with the fae that has asked to marry you. Then, said fae went on to antagonize your ex-fiancé who was a prince and low-key threatened to ruin him, his lover and those who supported the couple.

You were not built for this stress

In his defense, Malleus only did it because your former fiance started to mock you and your family over a crime that was proven false. You certainly weren’t ungrateful enough not to thank Malleus for his assistance. The powerful king simply smiled.

“This is but a mere glimpse of the things I would do for you, should you finally accept my proposal”

“T-this is not a decision you can rush”

You were hesitant and gave excuses to refuse the dragon king but he made efforts to rebuke your reasons one by one, destroying whatever obstacles that kept you from saying yes. Soon, it came down to one reason, your real reason.

You were scared

Not of Malleus, he has never done anything to warrant fear from you. But rather, his status as a “route target”.

Before the arrival of the heroine, you were friends with the other route targets and even felt happy enough to be engaged with the prince despite having only platonic feelings between each other. But the moment they all met her, your world became hers.

Your former fiancé grew irritated with you, then full out ignoring you. It was no better with the others as well when you expressed your worries to your mutual friends. Rather than consoling you or hearing you out, they took the heroine’s side and started ignoring you as well, calling you delusional and unreasonable.

Everyone changed (or perhaps you changed and this was how it was meant to be) and you were left ridiculed and soon villainized by those you felt close to. The look of disgust on their faces whenever you attempted to just speak to them, it hurt you.

Would Malleus be the same? Be kind to you then break your heart when the heroine comes in? You suffered because of it the first time but if it was Malleus…your last and maybe closest person in your life since reincarnating to this world… you don’t know how you could come back from that.

So you started to give up on your happy ending, refusing to answer Malleus’ proposal, avoiding to engage with the heroine at all, even escaping the party and retreating to your old hiding spot… in the royal garden.

Alone with your thoughts, you berated yourself over your cowardice as you hid in the tall rose bushes. Gently, you fidgeted with the rose petals and you reminisced about the past. You met Malleus here, didn’t you?

You were so clueless over your future. Back then, you still held hope that your fate was not predestined, that you could be content with stepping aside for the heroine and live happily with them. Yet despite your conflicted feelings, you managed a smile as you recalled one fateful night in the garden. It was the night that you met with your closest friend…

“Lord Malleus!”

…Did you say that out loud?

You looked around in confusion to see if you were truly alone as you thought and to your surprise, you saw beyond the tall hedges the very fae you were just thinking about and the person who called him…

The female protagonist.

“Do you like flowers, Lord Malleus?”

Your heart clenched painfully as you saw your worst nightmare come to be, the female lead with your friend(?) and they were alone in the gardens, where you realized where the player was supposed to meet Malleus in order to enter his route. Was the baron’s daughter aware of this? Did they meet like it was meant to be? Should you stay…or run away?

You could. Your engagement has been annulled and your family was cleared from accusations of treason. You haven't accepted Malleus' proposal so nothing is holding you or your family back from leaving this kingdom forever and starting a new life away from here. No need to follow this cursed story to the end. No need to ever see your ex-friends or the protagonist ever again.

No need to see Malleus again.

Just run away.

Malleus internally thanked the elders and Lilia for their lessons to conceal his emotions, or he could have done something as drastic as burning this garden to ashes due to the annoyance he felt at this moment. He noticed your escape from the party and assumed you wanted some fresh air so he left you on your own. But soon, the party attendees bore him and he soon ached to be by your side once more. So, he made his way to the one place he immediately thought of when thinking of you, the royal gardens.

It was his curiosity borne from boredom that brought him to the gardens that day. He found himself attracted with your kindness and obliviousness to his true identity. He found you charming, a delight and later an optimist when learning of your situation. He knew right away who you were, the child from a noble family betrothed to the young prince of this kingdom since young but that piece of information did not bother him…at first.

But you were turned from charming to tempting as time went on. He craved your attention, envisioning your smiling face with each letter he received from you via his attendant Lilia. He couldn’t count how many times he wanted to visit you personally but couldn’t. He was sure that if you knew his identity, you may cease your correspondence with him in fear of a scandal between the kingdoms. He at least could appreciate your tactfulness.

But he was greedy as any dragon fae would be once he heard your engagement was annulled. He may curse the foolish prince for his actions but Malleus suppose he should count himself lucky that your ex-fiancé was a fool. If he were a decent man then he may have to declare war by stealing you away.

But Malleus encountered another greedy individual, and she’s standing right in front of him.

“Do you like flowers, Lord Malleus?” The baron’s daughter asked, fluttering her eyelashes cutely.

“This garden and its flora has its charm” Malleus curtly replied, he can’t hate this garden afterall. He met you here.

“So do I! I guess fae and humans aren’t so different, huh”

Well, that’s a stretch of a comment. He couldn’t comprehend this human’s agenda. Constantly surrounded by young men, Malleus assumed she had better ways to spend her time, and not waste his.

Wait…was she reaching her hand to him?

“My wish is for humans and fae to get along. Wouldn’t that be great?” The female lead sweetly said with her best smile, stretching her fingers to reach for Malleus’ crossed arms.

To dare attempt to lay hands on him without his permission. No one would fault him for burning this woman’s audacious hands off, right?

“King Malleus!”

The dragon fae’s pointed ears perked up at the sound of his name. He turned immediately to the source, knowing exactly who just called him.

“My dear human” he responded back with a smile as he saw you walking quickly towards him.

In spite of your nervousness, you walked up to the duo and looked to share a gaze with the tall dragon fae before cautiously moving to hover your hand on his arm. Malleus did you one better and guided your hand to firmly rest on his arm, with his large hand kept over yours.

“Good evening, lady” you nodded your head at the heroine who seemed displeased with your presence but curtsied back, as is custom. You barely gave the woman’s much of your attention (your confidence may waver if you did) and turned directly to face Malleus.

“King Malleus, I had planned to retire early tonight and leave this party” you looked to Malleus, taking a deep breath before speaking once more. To let yourself be selfish and fight for the only man that mattered to you now. “Would you like to leave…with me?”

“Aren’t you being rude?” The female lead argued, barely hiding her annoyance with you. “Not only did you interrupt a conversation, you’re shamelessly asking Lord Malleus to leave-“

“Where would you like to go, my dear human?” Malleus’ deep voice interrupted the baron’s daughter, not that Malleus cared as his striking green eyes focused solely on you.

“If you’re willing…perhaps your manor’s garden?” You shocked yourself with your boldness, but you kept at it. “I much prefer your garden above all others, especially during our dates”

Whoosh

Your senses couldn’t keep up with the sudden shift as you were suddenly lifted by Malleus who quickly scooped you up into a bridal carry. You and the female lead both had looks of shock by the fae king’s sudden actions but Malleus paid attention to only one of you.

“I had made the false assumption that all humans were charming” Malleus’ eyes glinted a bright green, you compared them to gems, as he smirked amusingly at you, his fangs peeking from his lips. “But only you could evoke such feelings of greed within me"

Ignoring this world's protagonist, Malleus began to shroud the two of you in specks of green lights, a sign that you were going to be magically whisked away at Malleus' whim.

But before you did, you managed to meet the female lead's eyes which were filled with nothing but indignant rage. She looked ready to destroy you and everything you love, but you steeled yourself. Instead of flinching under her glare, you smiled at her while wrapping your arms around the dragon king's neck. Without a word, you made your decision.

I'm not giving him up

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #villainess au #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #twst malleus

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thebeast-dennis-etcetera · 2 months

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Man, Myth, Legend

You waited and waited and waited some more until Jethro’s voicemail began playing.

“He thinks he’s so clever,” you grumbled to yourself as you sent him a text. Not like he would respond back but at least your two cents was thrown in there.

It was bad enough he made you stay behind with Tony instead of joining him, Ziva and McGee to his HOMETOWN. But now he wants to ignore your calls too? Granted, the calls would have only been you pestering him with all kinds of questions but nevertheless, he should still pick up the phone. What if you were in danger?!

“C’mon Probie. Let’s see if Abby has anything for us,” DiNozzo stated while walking by.

You locked your phone and huffed in annoyance before joining him in the elevator.

“You can stop calling me that Tony. I’ve been working with you guys for like a year now.”

“I know. But I just love how much it bugs you.”

You rolled your eyes at his teasing and followed after him once the doors opened.

Abby gave you two the rundown on the blood analysis before McGee’s face popped up on her screen.

“Gibbs has a father!”

You ran over with Tony while they gave all of you the much needed info on the Gibbses. Jethro had told you he grew up in Stillwater and wasn’t exactly the towns poster child but he never really spoke more than that, let alone about his father.

“I’m coming. I’m leaving,” Tony stuttered.

“Well you’re not going without me,” you added.

“Not unless you’ve found a way that people in town might have thought Ethan LaCombe was alive,” McGee answered right back.”

————

You and Tony sat in the Bullpen, throwing different questions each others way as you wanted for your next orders.

“So do you think he like got ran out of town and that’s why he hasn’t been back?” Tony asked, tapping a pen against his mouth in thought.

“I don’t know but I wouldn’t put it past him if it were true. Do you think his high school girlfriends still live there?”

Tony gave you a puzzled look which you quickly defended.

“I mean I’m just curious since most small town people don’t really move out past their county.”

“I doubt he’s dinner dating with any of his past flings probie. Plus, how is it you don’t know anything about Gibb’s past but you two are together?”

“You know he doesn’t talk much. Especially about his past. It was like pulling teeth when I asked him where he was born!”

As if his ears were burning, your phone began ringing as Jethro’s face popped up on your screen. Making a face for Tony to be quiet, you answered.

“Oh, look at that, you know how to call people all of a sudden.”

“I was busy. Talking with people,” he justified.

“People like your dad? Or the townspeople? McGee said you’re already ruffling feathers.”

“Well McGee needs to stop gossiping. I talked with Chad Winslow and his family. They’re hiding something. I want you and DiNozzo to get a search warrant together for blood samples and financial records.”

“Uh. A please would be nice.”

“Please. Honey,” he charmed, making you smile like a school girl. You’d do anything for him if he added those words afterwards.

“Much better. I’m assuming you won’t be home tonight?”

“No. We’ve got a lot of work to do here and I don’t see anyone being cooperative any time soon.”

You silently pouted but Jethro knew you like the back of his hand.

“Don’t pout. You, Abby and DiNozzo can come tomorrow afternoon. We’ll need help executing those warrants once they’re approved and Abby will need to examine the blood quickly.”

You beamed with excitement, catching Tony’s attention. You both said your goodbyes and Tony came over to give you a high five.

“I’m driving though. You suck at obeying the speed limit,” he established.

“That doesn’t count! Baskin Robbin’s was closing in 10 minutes and you encouraged me!”

————

We pulled up to the scene of the crime as smoke was still slowly coming from the wreckage. Thank God no one was in the car when it exploded. Jethro hasn’t even been in town more than 2 days and people are already trying to blow him up!

You gave McGee and Ziva a greeting before following Tony in the little store. It was stuffy and warm but the place was cute with all the natural lighting and small town vibes.

You and Tony saw an older man standing behind the register whom you could only assume was Jethro’s dad based on the eyes.

Just as Tony went to introduce himself, Jethro came from the back and interrupted. As they both talked, you made your way over to the counter.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.”

“Jackson Gibbs. Leroy told me about you but he left out just how stunning you were,” he flirted as you two shook hands.

“I see where Jethro gets his charm from.” you two chuckled together before Jethro came over looking displeased.

We took the rental to Jackson’s house as he led us to the garage where the most beautiful Dodge Charger sat.

“That’s right. I said we.”

You hopped in the backseat as Jethro peeled out onto the street like a bat out of hell, passing the shocked faces of the team and sporting the biggest grin on his face.

At the Winslow house, Jethro advised you to stay behind with Senior.

“Fine by me. Someone’s got to tell me what the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs was like as a kid,” you jested as he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

You sat on the porch steps with Jackson as he started the conversation first.

“I’m glad Leroy found someone again. You know after Shannon and Kelly, I thought he’d never find love again. But you seem to make him happy.”

“I try. And he makes me happy. It hasn’t been years but I think we’re good for each other.”

“I just don’t understand how you two even came about. Someone like you, so beautiful and elegant should be dating someone similar. Like that DiNozzo guy.”

You laughed at the thought of you and Tony together.

“Jethro is much more sensitive and approachable than people think. And Tony? No, he’s far too..rockstar for me. Jethro just has that personality that grounds you and uplifts you at the same time. I’ve never felt it with anyone before.”

“Spoken like someone truly in love,” he stated with a smile.

You blushed at the thought and you two continued talking until it was time to leave.

Back at the store, McGee and Abby went over their findings as you stood next to Jethro, your hand brushing against his. You saw a small smirk appear on his face as he listened.

It wasn’t long before you guys had enough evidence to arrest Nick Kingston and his 2 accomplices and telling the awkward news of Ethan being Emily’s brother. You all stayed the night at Jackson’s place as he told you all stories of his great adventures before leaving the next morning.

“You’ve got a good one here Leroy. Don’t let her go,” Jackson praised to his son as he looked at you.

“Oh I don’t plan on it.”

You gave Jackson a farewell hug as he gave the Charger keys to Jethro and stuck your tongue out at Tony when you were the chosen passenger.

In the car, you pulled him in for a kiss and smiled. “I like your dad. We should come see him again soon.”

Jethro just shook his head and smiled before driving off.

#gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #ncis #ncis fanfiction #agent gibbs #mark harmon #jackson gibbs #gibbs request #ncis request

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evita-shelby · 9 months

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Incantatrice

Ch.16

Cw: death, guilt, feminicide, murder, mentions of sex(duh its an eva fic), whatever murder of a pregnant person is called

Taglist: @wandawiccan60 @thegreatdragonfruta @zablife

Gif by @cillianparadise

“I want you to be the last.” Luca had said when they met earlier yesterday, “I want you to be alive after your entire family is dead 'cause my mother says that is what will hurt you the most.”

A few days after John’s funeral, Elizabeth Stark is found dead in a canal.

Her autopsy revealed she was pregnant, barely two months along.

He hadn’t killed her, but he let Esme and Polly take their revenge.

Always loving the wrong women, Polly had said drinking to hide her shaking hands as she washed the blood from them.

When the police call her next of kin, Tommy pretends he is as shocked as they are to know his family is all she had.

He is alone at the cemetery when he sees a woman in black come with marigolds.

Perhaps a friend, he thinks, Lizzie was alone in the world.

Alone save for them and the baby she never even knew about.

“I warned her this would happen.” The woman said, an American with a voice like cool silk.

The hairs on the back of his neck rise in intrigue, fear and anger.

“Mrs. Changretta, I presume.” He said taking out a cigarette case Lizzie had picked out for him last Christmas.

He killed her like he killed Grace and Greta and Zelda.

The sapphire was not the curse, the curse was him.

“There was no curse, your women were not interesting enough to warrant one.” The woman answered reading his mind. “Just shit luck, hence why they fell in love with you.”

Like a real witch, like his mother once used to do before the tablets and the booze and the opium turned her into something unrecognizable.

She was good looking too, in that slightly unnerving beauty that beckoned you like a moth to a flame.

No wonder Luca had married her, with a woman like that, he was God himself.

“And rich to boot. Had I not gone to the opera that evening, I would have ended up here.” She adds, being pleasant company despite being the wife of the man here to kill them all. “Maybe even have had the misfortune of falling in love with you down the line.”

“What do you want?” he asks not wanting to think what game the witch is playing at.

“Just want this to be over, same as you.” She answered as if they didn’t have vastly different meanings. “Should have let her go instead of damning them all to die, Shelby.”

“They killed my wife.” He says, as if that makes it better.

“Your wife’s killer wasn’t one of ours, he hadn’t been lying, you know. Just like Lizzie wasn’t lying either.” The woman smirked. “You knew that, not then, but later when it was already done and no turning back.

First rule of this world is not to be taken in by appearances, and every damn time you fall for the veneer.

First Grace, then Solomons and Sabini, the shooter, the Russians and now Lizzie.”

“If you wanted her dead, you could’ve done it yourself.” He exhaled wishing nothing more than to take the revolver to his head, feel the cold steel on his temple and feel the thrill of pulling the fucking trigger.

But then he always remembers Charlie and Lizzie and he puts it down. Goes to them and remembers there are people he lives for.

This time there won’t be anyone to keep him from ending his miserable life.

The Changrettas wanted him to die even if he won.

“’s good strategy you have, even if you lose, you win.” He points out, as a man who likes competence, at least it’s a comfort to know his enemies are not winning by blind luck, but by skill.

Campbell only won because he didn’t know Tommy would have fallen for such a lousy spy in the first place.

Had Tommy not been so vulnerable when Grace came dressed in lies, everything would have been so different.

So many dead or gone from his life because he loved the wrong woman.

“Never caught your name, Mrs. Changretta.” He brings up when the woman turned to leave.

“Eva. Eva Changretta.”

“Polly’s lying to you.” Eva said the moment she smelled her on his clothes when he returned from the nightclub he met Polly Gray at.

He had a drink and a dance with her, and Eva had put flowers on the grave of Tommy’s lover and victim.

“This isn’t my first vendetta, you know.” He reminds her, trying to kiss her as she took off his vest.

“I know, but it doesn’t hurt to remind you.” The witch said moving out of the way before he could do so.

“Are you jealous, maga?” he asks recognizing fully well the telltale signs of her jealousy.

Luca will remind her she is the only woman he wants in his bed.

Could remind her right on the desk, or the chair, the door, anywhere they want without the children killing the mood.

Can’t remember the last time they had the luxury to be loud and go as long as they want.

They’re getting a nanny after this.

“You would be the same if I had been the one dancing so closely with Tommy Shelby.” Eva answered, knowing he could not fault her with such a good argument.

“If he even touched you, he’d be a dead man.” Luca nuzzled her neck, kissing and biting her so they know she is his property.

Only fair he gets to mark her after she marked him this morning.

“If you fuck the aunt, I will fuck the nephew.” The witch warns as things take their natural progression.

“You’re gorgeous when you’re jealous, it’s a good color on you, Evucca.” He smirked.

“Met his wife this morning. She claims the shooter wasn’t one of theirs.” Tommy lights another cigarette and offers Polly one of his.

“Luca said Lizzie was a taste of what’s to come.” Polly supplied with a sigh.

Hands hadn’t stopped shaking since that night.

Esme called saying Lizzie and her baby had been haunting her. Esme hadn’t known about the baby.

We killed an innocent, Polly, they made us kill an innocent, Esme had said in a panic.

Lizzie had not been lying, just as Vincente Changretta hadn’t either.

Now they pay the fucking price.

And what a heavy prize it is.

If she must choose between her son or Tommy, Polly knows he won’t blame her for it.

#eva smith changretta #peaky blinders fanfiction #thomas shelby #incantatrice fic #luca changretta x oc #luca changretta #luca changretta fanfic #luca changretta x eva smith

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ivygorgon · 1 year

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Ode to Trans Femmes

The first in a set of gender based playlists I made. It is meant to be listened to in order and on repeat. Some song choices may warrant explanation, analysis under the cut.

Ode to Trans Femmes song choice analysis

Man! I Feel Like A Woman!

Song by Shania Twain

To start positive; celebrates vital femininity.

Woman Up

Song by Meghan Trainor

Still celebrating vital femininity

Shea Diamond – American Pie

Frustration Arc

We take a step back to have frustrations about social barriers we face. This song is angry and desperate for the safe Americana enjoyed around it.

The Village

Song by Wrabel

Frustration Arc

This song validates those frustrations and says it isn't our fault. The system was built this way and we can grieve our lost place.

Twisted Transistor

Song by Korn

Frustration Arc

This song pulls from the same frustrations as American Pie and encourages us to celebrate the ways in which we cope, giving the example of music. (Huh, meta.)

Nine Days – Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

We just finished airing out a lot of feminine frustrations and highlighted rather bleak experiences. Here we're bringing them back up, complimenting their smiles and comforting them while they cry.

Steam Powered Giraffe - Transform

Transform pontificates on acceptance and peace but settles at being allowed to exist. (existential)

Alive

Song by Pearl Jam

Authentic Arc

Alive marks the beginning of the authentic arc. The song is about the invisible curse we might find we carry. The subject distances themself from the room they grew up in as "a young man's room" and goes on to describe an encounter with a woman that leaves them dissociated. I interpreted this as the earliest hints of self discovery.

IDK If I'm a Boy

Song by Blue Foster

Authentic Arc

This singer is describing how they relate their given masc identity to their innate feminine nature. They are trying on titles like shoes and grappling with not having femme passing privilege. They sound disoriented and directionless, but convinced that they've taken steps in their right direction.

The Middle

Song by Jimmy Eat World

Authentic Arc

This song replies to IDK if I'm a Boy's uncertainty for the future and tells the subject "not to write themselves of just yet" because the story is still being written. It also invalidates the opinions of the nay-sayers as bitter hearted.

GIRLI - Dysmorphia

Authentic Arc

Dysmorphia replies to The Middle's "disregard the haters, love your self harder" message with "Even if I do, I still have to come home to myself, and she isn't as nice as you."

Let Me Love You

Song by Kobra and the Lotus

Authentic Arc

The song Let Me Love You sees Dysmorphia's plea to acknowledge our inner pain, validate it, and, most of all, accept it, and replies with the unconditional love and support asked for. This song concludes the authentic arc saying: You're loved even still. You are worth protecting and you will never be alone.

This ends the structured part of the playlist

Just a Girl

Song by No Doubt

This song says, so what if I'm just a girl, I still have human rights. It expresses frustration with sexism and reclaims girl power

I love myself today Bif Naked

This song reads as a type of "break up" from yourself, your old definition of self that held you back. You're breaking up from the person whose shoes you are wearing, whose noose you're taking off.

Bad Reputation by Avril Lavigne

A conclusion to the playlist that is meant to impart the beauty, pride, and dignity being found in our messy experiences. Yeah, everything might be a mess right now, but you're YOU, and YOU'RE ALIVE, and you know what to do.

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scarletooyoroi · 5 months

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Alright! S'been a hot minute the AQ and it's been properly digested so to speak. Under the cut I want to go over a different spin of content in the overview, mainly what I feel like were worldbuilding plot points that met odd ends.

Naturally will have some touch of spoilers for those not caught up.

The first thing I want to dive on is the issues that we were teased about Fontaine having.

First example being.

This was one starting example, but there was a few more NPCs and Liben's accounts that told of Fontaine's infrastructure. Now we could angle this as these researchers thinking extremely long term, yet, the realm of Fontaine itself never gives any visual or quest based storytelling of this account. If anything, there seems to be a craze trend with both robotics and the issues regarding the primordial sea.

To me that always just scratched the thought of this being a storybeat that ultimately needs attention. That said, we've virtually got none of that in response. The initial energy issues weren't even an issue as the newly established power source of Indemnitium (which we've never seen even be USED for the town, only Pneuma/Ousia has been utilized) didn't have no concerns what so ever. On top of that, we've learned from Focalors that a mere, minuscule fraction alone was enough to power Fontaine.

So okay, cool, with the granted direction and it's eventual demise, even though it's come at the VERY end of the AQ, that could lead to some future Fontaine stories for this route, right?

Well, no, for again the potential energy issue that needs to be regulated is then magically hoisted up by Nevuilette's hand. His Hydro authority granted him immediate generation, upkeep and control of Pneuma/Ousia energies. Which I mean.. is fine. That said, what to make of all the prior region teasing? Why are the humans there even bothering when technically, there should be no signs of downfall to warrant this concern? As it looks we've seen no measure of heavy pollution at all there either.

In return it gave me the impression that Fontaine's environment might've had a vastly different outlook before. Moreso a deeper look into aspects of pollution, purity and having to make good on caring for the land.

Sliding over to the next!

Another aspect of Fontaine it felt like we were going to get depth in was this, how there was this supposed shadow war between new and old generation Oceanids. Egerias idea of love and unity, Focalor's..??? We never really learned what she did to warrant this distaste, since her plan was moreso focused on just getting the Heavenly Principle's plan situated. Did the Oceanids even know about her existence? Was the distaste aimed at Furina?

There's also the new generation Oceanids in question. Was it the Hydro Phantasms that warranted this issue, or was it the Oceanids that followed the desires in becoming human? The latter feels difficult in being the case as we've seen no rhyme, reason or sign of Oceanid humanity even bothering with them, it's all in their own lives.

While the Hydro Phantasms can still be up for contention, we've rarely met any of them focused on this task. They're either wild spirits or in cases of the Veluriyam mirage, phantasms that wanted to keep the wishes of travelers there alive.

Being a longer time player, this is where many of the storytelling issues didn't end up-- bad (at least too bad to me), rather, it's a really weird note of them just shuffling some past ideas under the rug and calling it a day. I honestly don't think we're going to find any ground on them, given the gradual changes of their story overtime.

These were the big two about Fontaine that I really needed to get out there. With themes such as 'Purity' being a key part of it's story, this felt really weird to just topple on the wayside like this. Instead, it looks like it switched Egeria's sin of human creation instead.

Have you noticed any particulars yourself? Stuff like this fascinates me so I'd love to hear it.

damn you really out here readin' a lot.

#| OOC Musings #| Genshin Stuff #reminds me of like the time when #A big hoyo teaser teased the idea of Irminsul burning the fk down #in a prophetic dream with Dottore before it. Only for that to never get mentioned at all

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bridgyrose · 9 months

Note

First of all, really love that Ladybug-centered eyepatch Ruby fic you did! It reminded me of an idea I had I wanted to tackle on my own someday, but I think you could write it better.

May I request a SLIGHTLY NSFW Ladybug fic that takes place in a post-Salem AU? Where Blake and Ruby are being intimate one night with each other's battle scars as they're barely clothed (Ruby is missing an eye in this one too)

(Slightly nsfw, but not enough to warrant a tag)

Ruby dropped onto her bed and let out a heavy sigh as she rubbed the scar on her shoulder that led down to the prosthetic she wore. Even after months of healing, it still burned if she moved too much or came near a grimm. Not that it really mattered to her much. Feeling pain was one of the few things that let her know she was still alive, that everything she went through was real, even if everyone else had forgotten.

“Everything alright?”

Ruby sat up and nodded as she looked at Blake, a small smile crossing her lips. “Yeah, I’m fine. My prosthetic was starting to act up again, but I think its fine now.”

“It only acts up because you dont listen to the doctors,” Blake said as she sat down next to Ruby, placing a hand on her thigh. “You spent the month you were supposed to be healing running around keeping people safe from grimm. Its amazing you didnt break anything else while out there.”

“Being a huntress means keeping people safe-”

“And keeping people safe means keeping yourself safe too.”

Ruby went quiet and looked away from Blake, her hand gripping her shoulder. Of course she knew Blake was right, but at the same time, she didnt know how to rest. People always needed help from the grimm and being a huntress meant going out and protecting those that couldnt protect themselves no matter the danger she would face. No matter how much it was going to hurt her to keep pushing herself.

Blake sighed and gently pushed Ruby down onto the bed and fiddled with her prosthetic to take it off. “And since you cant go back in time to fix that, we’ll just have to deal with what we can for now. Like listening to the doctor and not wearing your prosthetic all the time unless you’re on a mission.”

Ruby rolled her eyes a bit and kept still for Blake. “And how else am I going to hide my scar?”

“Why would you?”

“You… you know exactly what I had to do to stop Salem.”

Blake nodded and pulled the prosthetic off of Ruby and gently rubbed her shoulder. “I know, but I also know who it saved. If it wasnt for you, then Cinder would’ve been killed.”

“And what good did that do? No one remembers what any of us did and Cinder ran.”

“Because if you didnt save her, then she wouldnt have saved me.”

Ruby hesitated for a moment as she watched Blake remove her shirt and then move her hand to her chest. Even for being a few months old, she could still feel the indent the scar left on her breast. She gently squeezed, then pulled away. “Yeah, but it was my fault you were there. I should’ve gone alone and kept you guys out-”

“And you would’ve died if you had.” Blake kissed her and smiled. “You dont need to worry about that. We’re all alive, Salem and Ozma have been put to rest, Cinder hasnt been a problem for any of us since she ran off, we’re still helping others, and the kingdoms are all finally starting to work together and making strides with keeping villages protected. What more could you ask for?”

“Maybe… maybe for people to recognize what we’ve done.” Ruby pulled Blake close and rolled to her side. “I know this is how Oscar wanted things while he helps Professor Goodwitch get everything settled with the academies, but part of me feels like we need a bit more recognition for what we’ve done. For everything we went through.”

“And rest wasnt enough?”

Ruby went quiet once more, not sure how to answer. Rest was never enough, especially since she never really stopped being a huntress even when she was supposed to. And even if she had, it still didnt feel right that no one knew the sacrifices that she and her team made in order to stop Salem. The reminders of those they had lost were silently wiped from Remnant by the God of Light, only allowing them to know their deeds while the people they protected were oblivious to it all. Finally, she spoke quietly, her voice cracking with each word. “I… I wanted Penny, Winter, Pyrrha, Clover… everyone we lost to get to this point to be remembered.”

“Then we can talk to Oscar about making a monument for them.”

“Whats the point if no one remembers?”

“The point is for us. For you.”

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts.” Blake kissed Ruby and gently moved her hand from her shoulder to her thigh. “They were all of our friends. And you’re right, its not fair that they get to be forgotten like this. We’ll figure out a way to celebrate them.”

Ruby nodded and cuddled into Blake, pressing close to her. “Alright, I trust you.”

Blake rubbed her back and smiled. “Then rest. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

#rwby #ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #blake belladonna #ladybug #blake x ruby

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zibethrose · 5 months

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Happy Friday kindred souls Never forget how loved and special you are💜Total awareness is what allows you to sync with yourself and your surrounds as it awakens you to the delight your senses infuse you with and fills you with wonderment and appreciation at the gift of being alive which severs you from the past and the future allowing you to be fully present and centred in the here and now, which is the only time-space in which wholehearted living can take place.

Focus on becoming still and going inward, connecting with your innate wisdom to receive guidance from your higher self. Start cultivating your personal power to reclaim control over your life and dare to do things differently to manifest your dreams.Start prioritizing emanating a frequency of upliftment to others with your mere presence to create a better world for all. Care for yourself, stop dimming your light. Believe in yourself by recognizing and truly seeing the light within yourself. Have the courage to shine your light, you don’t need another's validation to step into your purpose.

Don’t allow your past to dictate your future as adopting a limiting mindset shackles you to your past instead of strengthening you to go into the unknown fearlessly, harvesting wisdom from past experiences to fuel and inform your understanding of life. Know that it will be difficult to continue onward when you feel like someone has switched off the light and left you in the dark, utterly alone and bereft.

To recover and heal from your hurts you need to recognize that you did nothing to warrant bad treatment so release any shame and walk on with your head held high knowing that another behavior, good or bad, is not a reflection of your worth. Shower yourself with Tender Loving Care to heal your bruised soul.

Please comment, share, like, subscribe and follow me @zibethrose

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staledirt87 · 4 months

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hey under the cut I'm gonna put some rly triggering stuff about suicide and suicidal ideation, please don't read if you're gonna be triggered, I just need this out there

The question of "why do I want to die" has been one that I've never truthfully been able to answer. I know I'm not "special" in the sense that I'm God's special child that's worthless and hated for no apparent reason other than existing. I also know that life holds intrinsic value, and that simply by living I have enough worth to warrant keeping around. but I have a hard time seeing the value of living on a logical standpoint. now my friend would tell me that you can't value life by logic alone, but that's how I always see the world. logic isn't logic unless you factor in emotion.

I see it as a simple pros vs cons, seperated into two categories: self and others

self pros

> pain ends

> responsibility ends

> stress ends

> anxiety ends

> I end the possibility of future pain

self cons

> I no longer have a chance for future happiness

> my dreams are automatically devoid of purpose

other pros

> I am no longer a concern of their's

> they do not have to factor me into plans

> they have more time to themselves and their other friends

> the energy they used on me can be used on other things

other cons

> they have to grieve me for an indefinite amount of time

> the things they used to do with me they can no longer do

> what I put into the world is no more

> anyone who looked up to me has lost a stable figure

that's the end of the doomsday pros and cons list, and by tallying it up, there are more pros than cons. additionally, it is a landmark in almost every ideology that yourself comes before others. not always, of course, but you must always consider yourself before others, in case you over exert yourself. now, I understand and acknowledge the pain and suffering of others that my death may cause, but I find it secondary to my own hopelessness and depression.

let me put it this way: why should I, my own person, be forced to work and exhaust myself for others' happiness? that is shunned upon almost everywhere, yet when it comes to suicide, it is thrown out of the window. "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." I've always had issues with that. it's not truly a temporary problem. I have major depressive disorder, severe and recurrent. which means it is not a temporary problem, but a permanent one. medication and therapy is a temporary solution to a permanent problem, whereas suicide is a permanent solution to a permanent problem.

it's also important to point out the fact that me being dead does as much as me being alive does. how many times do you see people citing dead loved ones as inspirations to do wonderful things? I know my death would hurt my friends, but as everyone will say, your friends in high school don't stay your friends. they would forget me anyway, and in less than a decade they will have forgotten my name whether I'm alive or dead.

I must also say that in the grand scheme of the universe, we are but specks of specks. our life is a blip in the expanse of time, so my status of life doesn't have any real affect on the world

all this is to say, there's really no point in my life. when it comes to a time that the net emotion of life is negative rather than positive, and the net effect of your death is more positive, then it is illogical to say that I shouldn't kill myself.

of course, this all means nothing if I don't have the means to commit, but I have several plans in my mind. I'm not near as safe as my parents think I am.

#tw suicide mention #stale speaks #venting #suicide tw

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garina · 1 year

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'Screams incoherently' I may not survive this. So intense. So many feels. @kedreeva here I go again.

Episode 7 flailing commencing...

Mike reassuring El that she's still pretty without the wig is adorable.

Lucas' realisation that the bad men are real and they are BAD. Screaming his head off down the radio that they all need to run, because they're coming for Eleven.

The reconcilation scene. All the feels. Also, adults have problems with that level of accountability and responsibility. Go kids.

Joyce is the best. Joyce is the best. Joyce is the best. Jonathan thinks she's mad about the lying (and maybe the getting into trouble with the police). No, she's angry about you planning to put yourself in that level of danger, because she's your mother and protecting her kids is the most important thing in her life.

Nancy's reaction to all the lights at the Byers place.

Mike being offended at the suggestion that his sister might be in league with the bad people. Only he is allowed to criticise her!

Oh, that's why Troy is the way he is. His mother is a hell-Karen. As opposed to Karen Wheeler, who is a lovely person who also just wants her kids to be safe.

Only a privileged white guy could come out with the 'they're our government. They're on our side' line. They've gone through your things, they're hiding information from you. Please tell me you at least asked to see a search warrant? (I doubt it)

These agents do not seem particularly competent, if Hopper can take them all out by himself. Also, it says something about his reputation that the kids seem to think so highly of him. Dustin's paranoia levels are also understandable!

Yay for Steve finally realising that Tommy and Carol suck. Character development! Also kudos to movie theatre guy for accepting the unspoken apology and attempt to start making things right. (Steve doesn't admit it outright, but fairly sure the guy can put together a nasty bit of graffiti, the cops being called to a fight round the corner, and a teenager with a messed up face offering to help clean. I might have checked he wasn't concussed before I let him up a ladder though!)

El trying and failing to find Will and Barb. Realising the solution and visibly screwing up her courage to go and tell the others what she needs.

'Why are you trying to close this curiosity door?' My favourite line so far. Also Mr Clarke's enthusiasm for explaining the special (gross) effects in the film. So many people would do that in a condescending way (why are you scared? It's not real) or to show off. He's just excited. And adorable.

Sibling stuff with Nancy and Mike. Their relationship has been so well written and acted throughout, you really believe in it. The 'you drive me up the wall but I will go for anyone who hurts you' thing. A+, no notes.

The stuff with Joyce and El... my heart! Joyce just sees a frightened kid, and that's something she can help. When she tells El to get out of there at the first hint she might be in danger, and El realising that she might actually mean it, that an adult might be trustworthy... all the tears.

The sensory deprivation scene is just incredible. Terrifying and heartbreaking and touching. Is this the first time an adult has kept a promise to El? Joyce is there for her all the time, even as she hears her son's exhausted voice through the radio, enough of her attention is on El to pull her out the second the monster finds her.

Nancy. The fact that you are right about the danger to Hopper and Joyce does not make your plan a better idea. I don't think she's even considering her own safety now that she has had the hope that Barb might still be alive snatched away.

Hopper. You got caught last time you tried this. Remember? You did not think this through properly.

Bad cliffhanger. Bad. No. Leave Will alone, he's dealt with enough.

#Stranger Things #s1e7 #this is too much #rambling and flailing #help me #aaahhhhhhh #spoilers

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yandere-daydreams · 2 years

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i can’t stop thinking about a yandere working in a mental hospital, as a therapist or psychiatrist or something with a darling that’s a patient…maybe if you do the ‘favors’ they ask of you, you might have a better chance of being released…if only if was that easy

tw - implied drug tampering, mentions of suicidal ideation, implied kidnapping, gaslighting, psychological abuse.

I think it'd be fun if it was a voluntary admission, too. You've never been the best at keep yourself... alive, for lack of a better way to put it, and given how the world has been, lately, how recently you got laid off from your dead end job, how often you've been disassociating, you figure you're better off spending a few days in the capable hands of apathetic nurses and a therapist who can, at the very least, tell you if you actually are going insane than staying in your apartment, alone, with all of it's balconies and sharp objects and waiting, half-full pill bottles. It's a good place, too, made for people like you, who just don't trust themselves, and you get to talk to a psychiatrist, even if it's only for an hour and a half every day. They're sweet. They seem to get you, and that's more than you can say about most of the medical professionals you've been forced to see.

They're nice, as nice as they can be, considering how strict the rules are can be when it comes to patient-therapist relationships. They're willing to let you vent, to nod along with your half-coherent rambling, to wait until you've gotten all that frustration and all that anger out of your system before they offer solutions, breathing exercises, journaling methods, little nothing to let you feel like you're not falling apart, like you wouldn't be better off six-feet-under. When you complained about your prescription, how hard it is to fall asleep on your current dose, they go over your formula before you can even ask them too, revise it and take the time to explain what you'll be on, from now on, what kind of side-effects you're going to experience, how much you should take and how often and what kind of lasting symptoms warrant an immediate correction. They tell you that it's alright to take some time for yourself, every now and then, that you made the right choice, checking yourself in, staying for a couple weeks longer than you initially planned to. They tell you that you're doing the right thing, trusting someone else with your safety. They tell you that you're making progress, even if it's slow.

They're gentle with you, too. They say that you're delicate, that you need a lot of love and care, and that's why they have to be so hands-on with you, that's why they have to come to your room at night, after your medication's already made your thoughts a little hazy, that's why they have to do a little more with you than they do with their other patients. You're not weak, you've just been neglect, left on your own for a little too long, and leaving, going back to that big, empty apartment, trying to re-enter a world that just wasn't made for you - it just wouldn't do you any good. They've already drawn up plans for a long term stay, something a little more homey, something a little more comfortable than dreary, grey hallways and a cot that creaks when you lie on it, even if you can never keep your eyes long enough to toss and turn. They say that it's not uncommon, that you don't even have to tell anyone, not right now, not until the end of your treatment. They say that it'll be good for you, that it'll be so much easier than leaving.

They say that they just want to make you better, and you'd do just about anything to feel just a little bit better.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere prompts #yandere theory #general

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togrowoldinv · 2 years

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could you PLEASEEEE write a one shot for natasha make it really angsty and could you base it off the song, stan the verse thats like “ all i wanted was a lousy letter or a call i hope you know i ripped all your picture of the wall” it would mean the world to me

This my first time writing from a request, and I enjoyed doing it so if anyone has any ideas feel free to send them my way and I might be able to write it. I hope you enjoy this one! It's very angsty.

Masterlist

It had been six months since you had last heard from Natasha. And six months of feeling miserable about that fact.

Your last conversation with her had been more of a fight than an actual conversation. And it wasn’t even anything that you thought warranted her to ignore you for so long. If it wasn’t for the news about the Avengers, you would have no idea if Natasha was even alive. You tried time and time again to reach out to her. You sent her texts and left her voicemails. Hell, you even sent her letters. But she just refused to talk to you.

After six months of not hearing her voice, you see her on the news at an Avenger’s panel. You just happened to be clicking through the channels when her voice caught your attention. She looks mostly the same, a bit more length to her red hair.

You had mostly been sad about the end of your relationship with Natasha. Even with no official break off, six months of radio silence ended the relationship for you both. But something about seeing her on the television, seemingly moving on with her life, made you so angry. You could feel the blood pumping through your veins and your heart beating faster in your chest. Threatening to burst out of you.

The memories of your relationship flood your mind. In the beginning, she was your lifeline. She was your light. The reason for you to remember that life isn’t so bad. You can’t even pinpoint when it all changed. Maybe after some mission or something, but nothing specific. It would be easier if you had an event to blame, instead of admitting to yourself that Natasha might have hurt you for no reason at all.

A year of love has just gone to waste. You think about driving down to the compound right then and comforting her face to face. But she knew how to get into touch with you and she hasn’t, then you think you should leave well enough alone.

You look around your apartment and see the pictures of Natasha that you still have around the place. There’s a photo of you two last summer that was always your favorite. You had convinced her to try some insane flavor of ice cream at a food truck, and you took a photo of you two after trying it. You both hated it but were laughing together at how bad it was in the photo.

The picture and how happy you both are in it puts you over the edge. You start taking down any photo of Natasha and throwing them into a bag. Once you’ve finished, you put the bag away in the closet with a box of Nat’s things she had left. No matter how much you hated her in this moment, you knew that later you would want to remember her again.

But for now, it’s out of sight, out of mind. Just like Natasha herself now must be to you. You have to let her go. Even though it hurts.

Even though she’s across town looking at that same photo of you two, wishing she didn’t have to cut you off like she did. Someone got ahold of her on a mission and threatened your life if she didn’t stop being with you. Her worst fear of you being caught up in her career was becoming true, so she made the decision to let you go. Deciding it would be too hard to say goodbye to you, she just left you in silence. And she’s regretted it ever since, but she can’t take it back.

You just wanted her, and she just wanted you, but you would never be together again.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel x reader

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sapphire-strikes · 2 years

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♡Some Pokémon Headcanons Pt. 2!♡

Doing a part two, this one's all about some villains. For reference, I do combine the events of Emerald with characterizations of ORAS, because I love the redesigned Team Magma and Aqua but am sad they didn't play into the more solid story of Emerald. Same thing with Yellow and the Let's Go Series. (This also plays into that whole "consistent MC" concept I talked about in Pt.1)

Part. 1 Part. 2 Part. 3 Part. 4 Part. 5 Part. 6

Giovanni: One of my favorite things about Giovanni is that he's oddly respectful. Still obviously selfish, evil, and power-hungry, but he's never even surprised by your strength and isn't one to dispute his defeat, even neglecting to go all out if he knows it won't be of any use.

• After his defeat in the Kanto region by this unknown trainer, Giovanni actually offers you a position in Team Rocket. He'd been beaten after all, and while he could most likely predict your answer, there was certainly no harm in putting the offer out on the table, even as a sign of respect to your potential.

• When you inevitably refuse, he acknowledges your decision and disappears, leaving his gym badge for you to claim.

• His whereabouts afterward were unknown and still are, with a warrant out for his arrest. Even with the revival of Team Rocket later on, supposedly during his absence, he was still considered one of the main suspects for their continued activity and even now is suspected to be controlling things from the shadows as the organization has yet to fade out completely.

• Perhaps you'll run into him again in the future, his offer still stands.

Archer: Being closest to Giovanni, most consider him Team Rocket's second in command. Archer is endlessly loyal to Team Rocket to the point that his reasons for sticking around actually exceed more than just that of money and power. He truly believes that Giovanni has built something great and found purpose in life working to keep it alive, even at the detriment of Giovanni's wishes sometimes.

• Even Giovanni himself, a man purely of business and unburdened by sentiment, is enamored by his loyalty. He's learned the power of strong conviction alone can be truly astounding and has granted him total command of Team Rocket's assets on the condition he continue to use that conviction to grow Team Rocket even stronger.

• Archer's initial option of the player was prudish, looking down on you as some kind of thug for the way you so brashly made your way into Team Rocket's hideout. Normally he wouldn't even bother battling someone so insignificant himself but thought it appropriate to teach you a lesson for your disrespect. When you beat him the first time his condescending attitude grows extremely bitter; angry and embarrassed to have been made a fool out of by this nobody.

• By the next few times you cross paths, he manages to be much more composed, acknowledging your strength and yourself as an obstacle and having simply grown determined to take you down in the name of Team Rocket.

• When you defeat Giovanni, you'd think he'd be outraged at you for being the reason the great Team Rocket fell but he's not. Giovanni acknowledged your strength and surrendered his gym badge willingly, even offering you a place among them. And in doing so, Archer gains something akin to admiration for you, accepting his leader's decision and even sincerely congratulating you on defeating the Pokemon league. Escaping after with the promise that he'd see Team Rocket rise to its former glory.

• And that he did.

• When Giovanni disappeared after his defeat, not only from the eyes of the law but his underlings as well. It was Archer that took over Team Rocket later on and those that managed to avoid arrest after their base was raided happily followed him in Giovanni's sted.

• When you run into Archer later on, during the revival of Team Rocket and the takeover of the Goldenrod Radio Tower, his attitude is very different, playful even as he seems happy to see you and gushes about the return of Team Rocket and their plan to find Giovanni.

• This change in attitude comes from the fact that he sees you as someone that was recognized by Giovanni, making you someone truly worth, believing that you'll come around eventually and join them when you realize their real glory regardless of what you might say now.

• Even after his second defeat and the second disbandment of Team Rocket, Archer doesn't lose hope, retreating to the shadows in search of Giovanni on his own.

• After that, Team Rocket falls out of the spotlight for a significant amount of time, with only rumors and speculations of crimes being by them with no certain proof to trace it back to the organization in particular. Though a few eyewitness reports have aligned to a sighting of a teal-haired man escaping the scene of crimes ranging the whole way from Kalso to Alola.

Archie and Maxie: Out of all the team leaders (with the exception of Team skull, of course), I feel like these two fall the least under the category of villain. They both have good intentions they're just absolute morons when the other is involved. I like to think they knew each other before founding their teams, perhaps just friends or colleagues in pokemon research until stumbling onto the legend of the weather trio. Eventually coming to an argument just at the idea of how these ancient pokemon's power could be used. What started as a simple discussion turned into a fight that made them part ways, delving into more research on their own and forming their respective teams with the goal to bring their vision to fruition before the other. Individually, they're both very capable people.

• Maxie is incredibly academically gifted, book smart to put it more simply, even if it does come off like he's got a stick up his butt. He likes the quiet and drinking tea and has a soft spot for helpless people and pokemon.

• Archie is loud, boisterous, and good in a brawl. He's incredibly loyal to his crew and would sooner meet a watery grave than break his word. Gets along better with Pokemon than he does people just because he tends to scare other people off with how brash he can be.

• When the two of them are together, all sense goes out the window and the only thing they can think about is one-uping the other. I genuinely feel like if the other wasn't involved, you'd have much more easily been able to talk them out of their respective plans. But they were blinded by their rivalry and the desire to be right.

• Even when their actions almost lead to the end of the world, they begin fighting all over again. Blaming the other for summoning their legendary and starting the world-ending fight. Only when they see you fighting to fix their mistakes do they snap out of it and put their differences behind themselves to help you, ashamed to see someone so young risking their life because of them.

• After Rayquaza is awakened and the legendaries are quelled, Archie and Maxie as well as their respective teams are arrested by the International Police. However, if you're willing to vouch for their character they can avoid jail time.

• While their intentions weren't evil, they did break the law and almost cause an insurmountable disaster, so they won't be allowed to just walk free, but if you can convince them to cooperate they'll instead be placed under parole and house arrest at one of the international police's headquarters if they can vow to use their knowledge and skills to help human and pokemon kind unbiasedly. And since you were the one that vouched for them, it will most likely be whichever headquarters you and Looker frequent with the intention of letting you keep an eye on them.

• They have matching ankle bracelets that go off if they leave the headquarters without an escort and they were ironically forced to bunk together (Archie gets top bunk obviously), so it's certainly not ideal for them. They're stuck together now, in the same facility at least, but it's better than prison. They've both acknowledged their mistakes and take it with dignity. Well, some dignity, they still bicker constantly, but with good behavior, they'll be free men in no time.

• Also! Thanks to the two of them taking full responsibility for the events in Hoenn, their grunts got off on parole as well, with a lot of community service. Anywhere you go in Hoenn you can find Team Magma or Aqua grunts picking up trash; with Aqua grunts favoring the seaside and beaches and Magma grunts taking care of the parks and cities. And yes, they do still wear their uniforms while on duty.

That's all for this one! Only gonna cover a few at a time but I hope to get through all the baddies of them eventually.

#pkmn #pokemon #pokemon headcanons #pokemon giovanni #pokemon archer #pokemon maxie #pokemon archie #these are fun!#honestly not posting much becaue I've been filling my free time with Pokemon #so when I do post you guys get this kind of thing!#gonna do some headcanons for the professors and champions too at some point

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bucky-barmes · 3 years

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☾✧✧✧ I'm just looking for a good night ✧✧✧☽

female enhanced!reader x tfatws!Bucky

In which you get dragged into a mess in Madripoor while just trying to enjoy yourself. But is the infamous Winter Soldier as bad as you always thought?

[ a/n: idk what this exactly is but i don't hate it, and who doesn't love asshole bucky? maybe i just have a problem, also loosely based on that madripoor episode. also also tried something new for the writing style so i hope you don't mind lemme know if it's shit ]

Minka is polish for strong-willed one, and is a name but here it’s used as a nickname as it’s reader insert

[ word count: ~3,580 words (this started as a lil drabble of reader meeting bucky at a bar, but i guess my brain had other ideas)

includes: asshole bucky, swearing - like a lot (i'm aussie okay?), drinking (alcoholism?), it's pretty fkn angsty, asshole bucky (i'm warning you ok), no -18 pls as it's not entirely g rated & has some implications

[ all works are my own, do not steal, repost or translate ]

tagging some friends (message if you wanna be on a perm taglist/if you don't wanna be tagged in future (i won't take it to heart i promise)) @sweetdreamsbuck @beefybuckrrito @mymindslabyrinth @igotnoname4thisblog @theluxuriousfangirl @posinhay @barnesand1

The music was blaring, sending vibrations through her body as she swayed to the fast beat. Drink sloshing around as she waved her arms around her above her head. This was it. This was living. Drunk, surrounded by strangers. No one knew her and she knew no one. She was free. And it was incredible.

Going to clubs alone was dangerous, she couldn't remember the number of times her mother had warned her not to. She must have been rolling in her grave at her daughter not only going to a club alone, but to a club in Madripoor no less. The thrill that anything could happen only exciting her more. That, and knowing that the Powerbroker wouldn't let anything happen to her, wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on her. That was the perk of being enhanced and not looking like it, it made you useful.

She had lost track of the hours, and the drinks, thinking only of how good the music made her feel. Of how nothing had felt this good in so long.

She waded through the sea of people, already locking eyes with the bartender as she made a beeline for the bar. She was stopped in her tracks, however, by a wall of bodies.

An almost animalistic growl ripped through her as she slapped her hand down on the shoulder of the man in the middle, a big fur collar adorning his coat. A hard hand gripped her wrist in response and her eyes shifted slowly from the back of man one to the owner of the hand.

Her eyes widened at who they landed on, then narrowed to barely visible slits. Yanking her hand back she didn't break her glare.

"I'm sorry, Dove, did we cut in?" The voice of the middle man broke her chain of thought, and when she looked back to him, he had turned to face her. "How about we buy you a drink to apologise."

"I don't want your handouts, Baron." Venom dripped from her words as she spat back her response. She wedged herself between the Baron and the third man, not someone she recognised, to snatch the drink the bartender placed out for her. "Besides, I don't pay here anyway, don't want you wasting your money."

She was about to work her way back through the crowd of people and to the middle of the dance floor again when she had a thought.

"Hold the fucking phone." Spinning on the spot, her eyes narrowed again, this time at the Baron, but that didn't stop her from seeing the man to his left step forward defensively.

"How are you even here? Last I heard you were stuck in a prison in Germany." Her drink was down and she slammed the glass down on the bar, getting threateningly close to him as she did. "Thought you were never getting out after what you did to them." Her sentence trailed off as her eyes flicked to the man next to him, the one with the metal arm.

The Baron offered her his signature smug smile. "Some people had other plans."

"Well, whatever you're planning," She closed the gap between them further. The shifting of bodies next to them was halted with a raise of the Baron's hand. "Stay the fuck away from me." Hatred seeped from her whole body.

Snatching the new drink that was placed on the bar, her gaze was turned to the apparent bodyguard.

"And I'd think twice before you lay a hand on me again." There was no response, but a subtle cocky smirk instead that only heated her further. She was gone before any of them could speak another word to her.

She was only able to start enjoying herself once more when the sight of the three men had disappeared, then, she was able to let her guard down and the beat of the music slowly took her over again. Until she got a call.

Plugging her other ear so she could hear, she took mental note of the location she was told to move to. The call ended abruptly, they always did with the Powerbroker, but this one was serious. She had begun picking up on the subtle differences between the calls.

Her gun was pulled from her thigh holster as she advanced towards the room Selby used for meetings.

She listened from a distance, the ability being one of many. A phone rang. An awkward silence as the conversation started. Names were thrown around, first Smiling Tiger. 'Yeah, that guy was definitely not Smiling Tiger', she thought to herself as she listened, remembering her run in with him one time. The phone call ended with a goodbye to "Sam"?

There were gunshot before she had time to process anything further.

Kicking the door down, she stepped through slowly, gun raised. It had fallen silent, the three men stood in the middle of the room.

"Holy fuck, what did you do?" Her voice was a mix of shock and anger. The men snapped their heads up.

"Things didn't exactly go according to plan, Dove." The Baron regretfully shrugged as he looked around at the collection of bodies on the floor, inclusive of Selby's.

"Well, why the fuck am I-" A fifth person joined the room before she could finish.

"Because the Powerbroker requested it." Sharon Carter approached her, stone-faced. “And nobody disobeys the Powerbroker.”

“I don’t know, I might’ve had I know it was for these idiots.” She was dead serious as she said it, glaring at the men responsible for the bodies strewn about.

Sharon shot the other woman a look, a look that said ‘you better cut it out right now’.

"Don't, Minka." Sharon's use of the others' nickname amplified the seriousness of it all.

The men in the room didn’t know it, but she, Minka, was the only one who knew who the Powerbroker really was. And you could say she was somewhat of a bodyguard for them.

“The Powerbroker requested it. End of, so get over it.” Sharon snapped at her.

“I can’t believe you’re helping these people.” Her grip on her gun tightened as she interrogated Sharon. “After everything that happened last time.” Her sentence ended with a scoff, clicking on the safety of her gun. She didn't place it back in her holster just yet though.

“Enough.” Sharon’s remark was a bark. An order. “Whether you like it or not, you’re involved now, you’ve seen the bodies. You’re part of it now.”

Minka just glared at her, mumbling “lucky me” under her breath as her daggers turned to the men again. Her anger only bubbled more when she saw the one with the metal arm, the Winter Soldier, staring right back, something she couldn’t quite pick up on behind his cold eyes.

Many hours and gun fights later, everyone made it Sharon's place alive, much to the acrimony of some of them. Of Minka.

"You have a beautiful place, Miss Carter." Baron was walking around, admiring the art as he made the genuine compliment, but he was being eyed. Sharon's personal guard wasn't about to let him touch, ruin, anything.

"Don't touch anything, and get changed, everyone knows what we're wearing now." The last part was directed at the whole group. "And you look like shit, too." Her nose scrunched as she looked them over. Even her associate was included in the statement.

Sharon watched as her figure retreated to the room she had set up, she was there often enough to warrant her own one, and then directed the men to where they could pick out some clothes and change.

There was a soft thump as her body landed on the bed, and she released a long sigh into the covers.

"Yeah, Sharon, I'm not in the mood." Her voice was mumbled from the bed, but was loud enough to hear the frustration.

"Minka, huh?" That was not the voice of Sharon Carter. Her head snapped up to face the door to her room that she swore she locked.

"You don't get to call me that." If looks could kill, the man in the doorframe would have dropped to the floor in record time.

"Is that not your name, Doll?" Arms folded over his chest, a mix of metal and flesh.

"Is your name The Winter Soldier?" The words were laced with malice as she slid off the bed, moving towards him to push him out of her room, her safe space. "Now if you don't mind getting the fuck away from me."

A heavy boot stopped the door from clicking into place, his metal hand forcing it back open, eyes dark. "No, I don't think I will." He stepped into the room, pushing the door closed behind him. This time it was her that stopped the door from closing, hand gripped tightly on the handle, pulling back.

"You've got some fucking nerve coming here like that." Minka yanked the handle as the soldier pushed the door harder, breaking it clean off. "Coming back into Sharon's life like you aren't the one that fucked it up in the first place." The handle dropped with a loud thud.

For a moment, something flashed through his eyes. Regret? Sadness? Whatever it was lasted a mere second before he regained control.

"So, you're like me?" His gaze dropped to the handle on the ground, taking the opportunity to gaze down her body as he did.

It was all she could do from punching him right then and there. "Absolutely not!" If the venom in her voice wasn't evident before, it definitely was now. "I don't kill innocents."

The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. The soldier staring down darkly at the smaller woman.

"It's Bucky."

Her eyes narrowed. "What?"

"My name, it's Bucky. And you can call me that."

She couldn't hold back the scoff that fell from her lips. "I won't be calling you anything. After all this shit is cleaned up, you'll never see me again."

Bucky's head tilted ever so slightly, his voice soft but dark. "I wouldn't be so sure of that." But before she was able to punch question him, Sharon's voice bellowed through the building.

"Downstairs, now."

The pair ripped their eyes from each other, Minka's falling to the handle on the floor. "I'm telling her you broke that. Now fuck off so I can change." And she shoved him out of the room, closing the door over between them, making sure to not close it the whole say so she could actually get out when she was ready.

By the time she had finished getting ready and made her way down to everyone else, people had begun meandering in, admiring the art.

"Took you long enough." Sharon walked up behind her, whispering harshly in her ear.

"Yeah, well you can thank your old friend for that. He's an asshole, by the way." "And he's not a friend." "Well he's the reason I need a drink." She turned to face Sharon, giving her a look of 'I hate you for dragging me into this' before heading to the bar, fully intending on double parking it the whole night.

It didn't take long for her to finally loosen up again, 5 drinks to be exact, and be back in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by sweaty bodies. It may have been an art auction, but nothing was ever not a party in Madripoor, especially if it was organised by the Powerbroker themself.

Minka was so caught up in the moment that she had forgotten entirely about the events of the day, the people of the day.

She had, yet again, lost track of the number of drinks she'd had. But every drink handed her way was downed immediately, not taking any time to register where, or more like who, they were coming from. That was always her greatest weakness, denying alcohol.

She was happily about to take yet another unknown drink being handed to her, when it was snatched from her reach and discarded on a nearby table.

"Hey, what the fuck, that was mine!" She growled, turning with her fist ready to launch into whoever had the nerve to steal her drink.

"Stop taking drinks from strangers, are you an idiot?" Suddenly the memories of the men she had to deal with throughout the day came flooding back. "You're gonna get spiked- in fact, you were about to with that one."

"What? Have you been keeping an eye on me? That's not very Winter Soldier of you." Her tone was mocking as she glared up at Bucky, struggling to stand thanks to the combination of copious amounts of alcohol and continuous movement of people around her.

Bucky placed his large hands on her biceps to keep her steady, eyes narrowing at her words. "You really don't know how to be nice to people, do you?"

"You really don't know how to stay the fuck away from people that don't like you, do you?" She retorted immediately, pulling herself from his grip. "I don't need a goddamn babysitter, especially not you. You don't exactly have the best track record with protecting people." Her back was turned to him and stalking off before she even finished her sentence, but she was yanked back in by her forearm.

"Yeah, I don't think so. You're being watched like a hawk by at least 3 men. Who knows how many of them are trying to spike you and get you separated from the crowd." Bucky's eyes were anywhere but hers, scanning the vast room for anything suspicious, clearly on high alert.

"I don't understand why you fucking care?" Bucky's eyes snapped down to hers, alarmed by her intensity.

"Keep your voice down or you're gonna draw attention to us." He hissed at her, lowering his head and pulling her arm to move her closer to him.

"Good, maybe security will see you're harassing me and escort you out." She snarled, anger rising with every word he spoke. "I'm just looking for a good fucking night and you've managed to ruin it twice now."

"Well take it up with Sharon then, she's the one that told me to keep an eye on you. So clearly she thinks you do need a babysitter." He dropped her arm, that would be enough to keep her in her spot for now.

"You're lying." Her words were barely above a whisper, eyes narrowed at him. "She knows I can hold my own. She's literally hired me for personal protection before."

"Clearly not this time." Bucky's eyes were back to scanning the room. "Not with the types of people here tonight." Minka couldn't help but scoff.

"Oh, because you know Madripoor, right? You've spent how many years here? Oh, that's right, none." She suddenly saw her opportunity to escape, Bucky's eyes not trained on her and her arms free.

"Tell her, as much as I appreciate it, she can shove it." And with that she had weaved her way though the crowd of bodies.

But her abandonment didn't last nearly as long as she had hoped.

All of a sudden she was being pushed against the far wall of the room where she was escaping to, breath knocked out of her.

"What the fu-" Lips landing on hers cut off her protests. Her eyes widened when she realised who said lips belonged to.

"Get off of me!" She spat when she was finally able to push Bucky off. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"People are following you. If they know you're with me they're less likely to try something."

"I'm not with you. In fact, I want to be as far away from you as physically possible right now." Bucky's arms, which were trapping her in by pressing against the wall either side of her face, fell to his side. His face turned emotionless for a moment before returning to his usual arrogant demeanour.

"You can't tell me you didn't feel the spark." He winked, a cocky grin plastered on his face when he saw the heat creep to her cheeks.

"Please, you wish there was a spark." Her eyes rolled as she paused. "I've had knife fights with more spark than that."

"Maybe we should have a knife fight sometime then." Bucky's response was quick, and smooth.

"Have you forgotten that you're never going to see me again after all this shit? Although," Minka tapped her chin in mock thought. "If you're offering to let me stab you, I'll gladly take you up on that." Unlike Bucky's, her face held no semblance of humour.

"I'm sure you'll change your mind by the end of it." Bucky eyed her suggestively.

"God, please don't tell me you're into me. Maybe I do want those supposed guys to take me, seems better than the alternative." She groaned at the thought of having to deal with him fawning after her.

Bucky's face indicated that that was definitely not he case. His eyes, however, suggested her words had hurt him a little. "God, never. But if you really want, I can hand deliver you to them myself." He pointed in the direction of said men.

Her nose crinkled. "Okay, maybe not them."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Sharon, we have a serious problem!" Minka stormed into the kitchen after the last few people had left and the party was over, Bucky not far behind her. "So I need a babysitter now? I thought I was the personal protection around here." Her fist collided heavily with the table.

"You are," Sharon looked at her nonchalantly as she poured herself a glass of whiskey. "Until alcohol is involved. You're as useless as that new Captain America when there's booze around." A sip. "Case in point." Sharon hummed, watching your eyes follow her glass from bench, to mouth, to bench again.

"Oh please." She snorted. "And you thought pairing me with this idiot was a good idea?" He hand gestured back to Bucky at idiot, not caring if it offended him. "He just makes me want to drink more."

Sharon was about to give her a look, but Minka just shook her head, throwing her hands up. "No, I'm not dealing with this tonight. I'm going to bed." "Take him with you." Sharon nodded towards Bucky.

"Oh fuck no, why the fuck would I-" "Because everyone knows you're involved, and your head is on a spike now, too. They want you dead, Minka." She couldn't argue with Sharon when she used her nickname for her. And the pain in her voice was evident.

"Fine, but you're sleeping on the floor." Bucky just shrugged, "nothing new."

"You sleep there." A finger pointed to the sofa on the far side of the room. Conveniently away from the bed. "I'll get you a blanket."

Bucky's brow quirked. "I thought I was on the floor?" He feigned confusion, head tilting to the side before his cocky smirk returned.

"Keep going and you will be." The blanket was thrown at his face, along with a pillow.

"A pillow too? Wow, it's like a 5 star hotel." She just glared.

"If you snore, you're out. If you sleep talk, you're out. You make any sort of noise and you're out. Capisce?"

"Guess it's a good thing I don't sleep then, huh?" Bucky threw the blanket and pillow onto the sofa.

"Now see, that just makes it weird. Like that scene from Twilight." "Well, yeah, when you put it like that it is." His face screwed up at the thought, recalling the scene.

"How do you- Actually no, I'm tired and I don't care." She had been about to ask how he understood the reference, but decided that was going to open a whole can of worms that she didn't care about.

"I may be over 100, but I have seen Twilight. Wanda made me watch it with her." He didn't need to be a mind reader to know what she was about to ask. And he didn't blame her, it probably would be surprising that a 106 year old had seen Twilight.

"Don't worry, Doll, I won't stare. Much." And now it was her turn to scrunch her face up.

"If you fucking touch me, I'll rip that metal arm from your body and shove it so far up your ass." Her sentence trailed off, however, when Bucky stepped closer to her, his gaze intense as he looked down at her.

"And how do you think I would touch you?" Another step closer, making her step back and gulp.

With her mouth agape, Minka was lost for words, probably for the first time in her life. Sharon unknowingly came to her rescue, though, when she knocked on the door while entering.

"Set your alarm for 6," Her eyes narrowed at them both and the distance, or lack there of, between them. "We've gotta be out of here asap tomorrow. Make sure you get enough sleep." "Will do, Sharon." Minka's gaze flicked to her, nodding once before she left the room, confusion plastered on her features.

"Right, well that's bed time then." Her tongue ran over her lips nervously, and she was painfully aware of Bucky's eyes watching. "I'm going to get changed." She turned and basically ran to the bathroom attached to her room.

"I'll be out here waitin'." "You're disgusting, don't think anything." "Wouldn't dream of it, doll."

#ya'll this gif makes me feel things #also i suck at knowing when to end & start paragraphs i'm sorry #bucky barnes #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x reader #marvel #marvel oneshot #marvel imagine #marvel x reader #avengers #avengers oneshot #avengers imagine #avengers x reader

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melancholydreadfuldream · 3 years

Text

my sweetest downfall

Fandom: Doctor Who

Summary: Clara is dead and you are devastated, and abandoned by the Doctor.

Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, madness, attempted suicide, death, etc. You have been warned.

Clara is dead.

She was reckless. You have warned her to be careful multiply times. Clara seemed to think herself invincible or maybe she have some kind of death wish after Danny Pink. And now, she sealed her death warrant and not even the Doctor can help her overcome it.

But, Clara...she was brave to the end as she said her goodbyes to you and the Doctor. And then, the Doctor was taken away to who know where by whoever made Lady Me set the trap. You were left all alone with her body, heartbroken and at loss on what to do

You have no idea what happened with the Doctor. You don't know if he will ever come back for you. And, as it turned out, he never returned for you. You were obviously hurt by the abandonment but there is nothing you can do. The only thing you can do is accept it and move on with your life. It was hard. It was so hard most of the times. You are hurting and you are not coping well.

Five years had passed since Clara's death. You never saw the Doctor. You were dying now, diagnosed with a rare brain tumor three years ago after you got involved in a car accident which ironically revealed your illness. You had accepted the fact that you are dying. You spend most of your days in and out of hospital for treatment.

You smiled wistfully as you observed your collection of pictures of your selfies during adventures with the Doctor and Clara. You always made it a must to take pictures for your albums, a habit instilled by your late father who loves taking pictures and filming your mother and you long time ago. You were grateful for it as they contained so many happy memories of your friendship with them. You collected so many as you did traveled with the Doctor and Clara for many years even when the Doctor was still in his eleventh form. You even had some videos documenting the highlight of the adventures every time you were back inside the Tardis with some commentaries from both the Doctor and Clara.

Your eyes catches the picture of that last adventures with Clara and the Doctor, the days they received Rigsy's call. You remembered taking the picture. Clara was laughing smugly, you were grinning and the Doctor glanced at Clara with fondness. Your smile turned bittersweet as you glanced at the Doctor's expression. Tears filled your eyes as the memory of that time assaulted your sense. You blinked away the tears trying to focus on the blurry picture.

7777

"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.

You blinked a few times, disoriented to suddenly found yourself back inside the Tardis and staring at the ghosts of your friends. Your eyes widened as you saw the Doctor and Clara. "Clara?" You called out in disbelief.

Clara is still laughing at the Doctor then she turned toward you with a grin.

You felt like the floor beneath your feet could crumble any seconds. You moved quickly and throw your arms around Clara, surprising her.

"Oh, we are hugging now..." Clara teased you.

You could smell her, you could feel her, Clara is alive. How is this possible? You released her. "You are here..."

Clara and the Doctor exchanged confused glance at each other before staring at you.

"Are you alright, (name)?" Clara asked.

Before you could reply, the sound of phone ringing suddenly filled the console room. Everyone stared at the phone. You watched as Clara and the Doctor exchanged gestures at each other about picking up the phone. You know who it is. Dread filled your heart as you watched Clara picked up the phone.

Clara's voice become distorted as you suddenly feeling unwell as you felt yourself somehow being pulled away.

7777

"(name)? (name)!" Grace, a nurse who is in charge of you, shook you out of your stupor.

You jerked awake in surprise and found yourself still on the bed at the hospital.

"Are you okay, dear?" Grace asked you in concern.

You blinked in confusion. Was that a dream? You forced a smile as you told Grace that you are fine. You glanced at the picture at your hand. Were you daydreaming of that day? But it was so real.

Grace talked to you about your current treatment but you can hardly focused.

That night, you couldn't sleep thinking about what happened that day. You gave up on sleeping and turned on the light. You picked up your albums and took the same picture as last time. You focused on the picture so hard your vision instead become blurry.

7777

"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.

You couldn't breathe. You shakily turned your eyes toward Clara who is busy mocking the Doctor. You really somehow traveled back to the past. How is this even possible? Or is this some kind of lucid dream?

And like before, the phone started ringing, without thinking, you goes to pick it up before the Doctor and Clara could. You were surprised you could actually do it because it was supposed to be Clara who received the call.

"We will be there." You said after listening to Rigsy.

The Doctor stared at you in confusion.

"Rigsy need our help." You said.

And the rest happened exactly as you remembered. You didn't focus much on the ongoing moment as you are busy wondering if you could somehow save Clara inside Trap Street later on. All you have to do is make sure she didn't ask Rigsy's mark to be transferred to her and then stopping the Doctor from falling into the trap.

You were able to prevent Clara from sealing her death warrant by reminding her about the Quantum shade's rule. 'You can pass it on but you can't cheat it altogether'. However, you were too late to prevent the Doctor as he was already had the teleport bracelet on his wrist.

"No..." You whispered as the Doctor disappeared right before your eyes. You could heard Clara calling out to him but it was too late.

Once again you felt yourself being pulled away from this moment.

7777

You jerked awake on the couch at your apartment with a head-splitting pain. You fell on the floor as new memories flooded your mind. You groaned in pain.

You and Clara worried about where the Doctor has gone to. You both talked to Kate from UNIT but there is nothing anyone can do. The Doctor returned to pick up you two to your great relief but won't tell anything about where he was sent to.

The Doctor got a job as a lecturer in a nearby university. Clara teased him about it. You and Clara found out about Missy and the vault. Clara is a bit hostile with Missy. Missy mocked the two of you.

The Doctor wanted to give Missy a chance of redemption despite Clara thought she was a lost cause. The Doctor took you, Clara and Missy to answer a distress call. Missy being sassy as she mockingly acted to be the Doctor.

Clara got shot by a random blue alien after admitting she is the only human in the room, protecting you.

Clara became a cyberman and begged the Doctor and you to put her down.

You complied with her wish because the Doctor wouldn't do it.

Clara expressed her gratefulness for you.

You sobbed as you did what you have to do for her sake.

Clara is dead once more.

The Doctor dropped you off back at home without so much of word and never returned again.

You gasped and sobbed as the emotion exploded inside your chest. You mourned Clara's death once more. She is dead. And her death is so much worst than before. You couldn't believe it. The pain and guilt eat you up alive.

You sat on the floor for a while, trying to sort out your mind. You made up your mind to change it all again. You grabbed your smartphone and opened the gallery. All the pictures you have taken before still there with more new ones with or without the Doctor. You skimmed through some pictures that you don't even quite remember taking and stopped on the last picture of Clara and you, believing that was the last time the two of you are able to have one before her death.

You could go to that moment but even with your new memories, you weren't sure if you could somehow take charge of that moment as you felt like you didn't experience it yourself. You decided to keep it simple. You could warned Clara not to go with the Doctor and Missy. Yes, you can do that, can't you?

You nodded to yourself as you gripped tight your smartphone focused on that very picture until your vision clouded as you could feel like you are ripping the air somehow. But to your surprise, you couldn't. You focused again as hard as you can.

7777

"We should go, (name), the Doctor said he needed to talk to the both of us about something." Clara said.

You gasped as you took in your surrounding. You were in some cafe with Clara. You turned to Clara and quickly said, "If the Doctor asked you to go on adventure with him and Missy, tell him you couldn't!"

Clara looked confused. "What do you meant?"

You opened your mouth to explain but you could felt yourself being pulled away.

7777

You jerked away from the vision as your mother shook you awake in frantic. She found you on the floor, nose bleeding. "Mom?" You groggily called out.

"Are you having your episode again?" Your mother asked in concern.

"What?"

"Your nose is bleeding again." Your mother gently wiped your face from the blood. She stared at your smartphone and sighed. "I don't know why you are so obsessed with pictures. You really are like your father."

You ignored her and go through your smartphone in hope there is new pictures of Clara but there is none. You have a sinking feeling that Clara had ignored you warning and thus still ended up dead. You didn't change anything it seemed.

"Get some rest, (name), tomorrow the doctor said she will start the new treatment."

"Treatment?" You asked.

"Have you even take your medicine today? Really, I think you should move back with me if you are not going to take care of yourself better." Your mother said as she gave you a bottle of pills.

You grabbed the pills and noticed it was the same pills you take before for your tumor. So, you still have tumor? Make sense, you suppose. You thought you were able to do what you did, changing the past, is because of your brain tumor. It sounded like a plot for a sci fi movie but you have no other explanation of why you suddenly able to do that. The doctor that in charge of you had said that your brain tumor is inoperable.

Distinctly, you know you should probably reach out the Doctor but he, once again, cut all contact with you after Clara's death. You thought he is mad at you, maybe for what you did to Clara, maybe because you are the one who survive instead of her, honestly you don't know what to think. All you knew is that he abandoned you again.

Your mother is still talking to you and you cut her off telling her you are fine and that she didn't have to worry. You said you wanted to rest. Your mother told you to go to sleep on your bed as she cleaned up your apartment. You felt bad for your mother but all you can think right now is to figure out how to save Clara again.

As you went to your bedroom, you noticed a journal on the floor. You picked it up and frowned as you noticed pages after pages of your writings how to save Clara and which moments you have tried to slip into in order to change the outcome. It was also noted on the journal, that right after Clara's death, you tried to change the past only to find out you can't. It wasn't until a car accident that the doctor discovered the tumor and you were only able to start changing the past three years afterward.

You frowned at that as it is exactly what happened to you last time. You had an accident, diagnosed with brain tumor and it was by chance, three years later, you discovered you were able to change the past.

Once again, you are tempted to call on the Doctor in hope maybe he could help you figure it out. But, you read a page where you wrote that you went back to the past and told the Doctor about your ability. He didn't believe you at first until you proved it. The Doctor is quite horrified at your abnormal ability and once he found out that you prevented Clara's death on Trap Street, the Doctor warned you of not changing the past again. He even forced you to undergoes surgery to remove the tumor in some alien hospital in a distant future.

The Doctor said that you are messing with Time and it won't end well for you. You were furious with him as you yelled at him that you were trying to save Clara. The Doctor realized that Clara's death might be a fixed point in time, that's why Clara's life will always be in danger. You refused to believe it

You were able to escape the Doctor by returning back to the very same moment before you told the Doctor everything. It was underline on a page in the journal the words: Don't seek help from the Doctor.

You exhaled at that. You are on your own. You have to somehow figure out this ability of yours and make use of it.

Unfortunately you didn't have a picture of the very day of the adventure where Clara will be dead. You thought about it hard and decided to go back to the past sometimes before the said adventure and left message to yourself to take a picture of that day. It won't be hard to do since Missy probably would love to be the center of attention during the test.

You grabbed your smartphones and found a picture of you, Missy and the Doctor. You recalled that it was sometimes after you let Missy out of the vault so that she can help save the Doctor during a troubling adventure.

Missy learned that you always take a group selfie every time during or after adventures and insisted that they take one with her since she did save the day. Clara had refused to be in the picture. In the picture, you grimaced uncomfortably as Missy making a silly face toward the camera while the Doctor looking bored. Clara was in the background, pouting.

You suddenly feeling solemn as you glanced at Clara's figure in the background. How can you save her? Will you be able to?

After you left a message for yourself back in the past, you came back to the present time and quickly grabbed your smartphone and sure enough there is a video of Missy dressing in complete Mary poppin atire with hat and umbrella, making silly introduction of herself as the Doctor much to Clara's exasperation. Apparently, it was at Missy's urging that you took video.

You frowned when you realized there is only video, no picture. You decided to try to use the video which still technically a series of picture. To your surprise, it worked.

7777

"We picked up your distress call, and here we are to help, like awesome heroes." You heard Missy said.

You blinked, disoriented. "It worked..." You whispered in awe.

Missy still prattled on in a pretentious tone while Clara rolled her eyes at her. Missy turned to you who still filming the whole thing and winked.

Suddenly an alarm sounded loudly. Missy is being silly as she dance to the rhythm of the alarm but you quickly pulled yourself together as you glanced at the elevator. Missy and Clara were talking about the console on the ship and about the black hole. You grabbed Missy's umbrella and went to one of the elevator where you knew the blue alien man will appeared. You hit him in the head and he dropped with a loud thud much to everyone's surprise.

"What are you doing, (name)?!" Clara demanded as she run to check on the alien.

The Doctor also complained at you via the earpiece very loudly while Missy sit still grinned in amusement at you.

You grabbed Clara away from the man. "Doctor, we need to leave, the cybermen are coming."

That caught everyone's attention as they curiously stared at you.

"What has gotten into you, (name)?" Clara asked as she pulled away from you.

"We don't have time for this." You said with annoyed groan.

By then, the Doctor has gotten out of the Tardis, staring at you cautiously as if your a wild wounded animal.

The elevators suddenly let out a ding sounds and men dressed like a spooky Halloween patients in white sheets appeared, demanding the humans to go with them with their robotic voices.

The Doctor glanced at them curiously and then at you. His face looked confused.

"We need to leave now. They are cybermen, Doctor!!" You shouted and suddenly a loud boom sounded.

Everyone stared at you in shock.

You glanced at them and then at yourself, noticing a hole of where your heart should be. You were shocked but at least you weren't in pain. As you fell down to the floor, you could heard Clara's cries for you. You wanted to scream too as your mind flashed back to the journal and of the Doctor's warning that thing will not ended well for you.

7777

You jerked awake with a scream. You couldn't recognize where you are. You were in panic as you glanced around you in confusion. And then suddenly, a head-splitting pain filled your head. You groaned in pain as new memories flooded you again.

You woke up to Clara's concerned face as she explained your still on the ship and that these people had saved your life. You found some sort machinery installed on your chest, apparently it was your lifeline.

You saw Razor grinned at you two as he explained the both of you current situation. Of course, you know exactly who he is as you warned Clara not to trust him. You begged her to trust you and that they need to get out of there before the Master converted the both of you to be cyberman. Clara did as you said as she discreetly trying to investigate the ship but both of you are stuck there until at least you are strong enough to move around.

Months later, you were finally able to move around. To make sure the Master does not suspect anything, you and Clara tried to act friendly with Razor as he is the only person on the ship that actually nice with you two. Clara had deduced a probable way out and tonight the both of you will try to make a run for it.

You considered to jump into another memories to avoid this outcome but your smartphone is gone. You have no choice but to wait for the Doctor to come for you and Clara.

Razor stopped you two, finally revealed who he is. You and Clara glanced at him in fear. He asked you how you figured out his disguise as he apparently been listening to your conversation with Clara somehow. You were paralyzed by fear and unable to speak as the Master threatened Clara's life. He shot at her using some unknown weapon. You screamed as Clara fell to the ground. The Master laughed like a maniac as he dragged you by the hair for more interrogation while ordering his men to convert Clara.

You had fought him, throw some stuff at him as you tried to get to Clara but he pulled a remote and pointed it at you. You dropped down as your new 'heart' electrocuted you. You hit your head pretty hard over a table before falling to the floor.

You woke up tied up on the chair with the Master hovering over you with cold eyes. He had no qualm about hitting you or electrocuted you via your new 'heart' to make you suffer. You were bleeding over the head. At this rate, you will probably die here without even be able to save Clara.

The Master is very curious wanting to know how you know about him and the cybermen on the ship.

You asked him if he has your smartphone and promised to tell him how you know if he let you show some thing on it. To your great relief, he gave you your smartphone, apparently humoring you. You weren't sure if it will work as you shakily opened the gallery and focused on one of the random pictures you have on your phone.

You could go to that moment and changed something there drastic enough to overwrite these events. If this didn't work, you would probably die here.

As you focused on the picture, to your immense relief, you could feel yourself being pulled into those very moment on the picture. The Master pulled your hair up as he lost his patience but by then you are gone.

"I think you may be forgetting how we got home from Mars." You heard the Doctor said.

"What, so now you trust her?" Clara demanded.

"No, so now he's getting Tardis maintenance for free." Missy spoke up mockingly.

You blinked as you tried to adjust to the new surrounding. It worked. You glanced at Clara. She is still alive. What can you do now? How can you save her? You really don't know anymore. If you can't rely on the Doctor, what can you do then?

"(name)?" Clara suddenly called out.

You glanced up at her, noticing everyone stared at you. You felt blood dripping from your nose. You put one hand over your nose upon noticing. You glanced at your bloodied hand and can only muttered some 'oh' in daze before your knees buckled under you.

The Doctor and Clara dashed forward to catch you as you suddenly dropped in one of their arms, you have no idea who. Your vision clouded black and you know no more.

You gasped as you couldn't breathe properly.

A blonde woman frantically came into room, fussing over you. You heard the sound of sonic screwdriver scanning you.

You tried to control yourself but it was hard. You tried to focus on the people that suddenly surrounding you.

"Doc, is she okay?" An old man asked in concern.

"What is wrong, (name)? Are you in pain?" A young woman asked you.

You don't know who these people are. You groaned in pain as another head-splitting pain assaulted you again.

You were in a coma. You woke up to the blonde woman's concerned and tired face. She smiled in relief at you and hugged you.

She told you she is the Doctor, that she has regenerated. When you asked her about Clara, she look sad and she said that Clara is dead.

Apparently when you are in a coma, the Doctor and Clara at first had stayed for you. But when months passed by with you still didn't wake up, the Doctor is worried for Clara's health and suggested a trip for a small break but they ended up answering a distress call...and the rest you figured happen exactly as you feared. Clara once again died as a cyberman.

The Doctor, upon finding out about your inoperable tumor, had taken you to an alien hospital where they had removed the brain tumor inside you. She is not willing to lose you so soon after Clara.

After the operation, you don't remember a thing about your ability. The Doctor welcomed you back to her Tardis, introducing you to her new companion.

You gasped out loud at the new information. They got rid of your tumor! "No!" You were horrified as you are afraid to lost the means to save Clara. Blood dripping on your lap. You groaned again as your vision clouded again. Your body started to convulze in seizure.

The Doctor yelped and jumped quickly for medical attention as you lost conciousness again.

7777

You were in and out of conciousness but you distinctly heard the Doctor converse with the fam. Yaz, Ryan and Graham, your mind supplied. They were your friends too, supposedly.

"She has a tumor?"

"I don't understand. The doctors at the hospital assured me that she is free from them." The Doctor murmured in confusion.

Oh, good. You still have the tumor. You were relieved. And isn't it ironic that you actually grateful that the tumor is still with you?

The next time you woke up, there is only Yaz with you. After you drank plenty of water, you asked her if she saw your smartphone, saying you need to contact your mother.

She looked confused but she gave you what you wanted.

You observed the pictures on your gallery. There are many new collection with the new Doctor and your new friends.

You bit your lips as you observed the pictures. You and them looked happy. You shook your head firmly. No, you have to save Clara. Clara was your best friend, you will not abandon her.

But, how do you go about it? How are you going to save Clara? Which memories you should slip into?

You would have to think it over. But first you have to test if your ability still work.

You picked a random picture and focused on it.

7777

You were with Clara and Danny Pink.

You blinked at him. You remembered these moment. You were tired at work and Clara invited you to have a night out with her, Danny and Adrian. They tried to set you up with their fellow worker but it didn't work out. It was the time where Clara admitted to you that she might be truly in love with Danny.

Clara had told you she is considering to stop traveling with the Doctor so she can focused on her relationship with Danny.

"Earth to (name)?" Clara waved a hand in front of your face.

You suddenly have a realization. Maybe if you saved Danny instead, Clara will make do with her intention to stop traveling with the Doctor thus rendering the dangers on Trap Street and the ship invalid.

You were so focused on this idea that you suddenly stood up, bumping into a waitress carrying a very hot soup which poured into your arms.

7777

"(name)!" Yaz shook you out of your stupor.

You hissed suddenly as your hand automatically grabbed into your arm. You pulled the sleeve of your clothing and saw a hot angry blister on your skin that pulsed before fading into a normal again.

"What the...?" Yaz glanced at your arm in disbelief.

You had forgotten that she was with you. You glanced at your skin still, pondering about it.

Yaz wanted to tell the Doctor about what she saw but you told her not to. Yaz looked confused at your request.

You know now that your ability still work. You pretended to be tired, wanting to be alone to rest so Yaz left you alone.

After she left, you grabbed a nearby notepad and wrote: save Danny Pink, save Clara. Maybe? It worth a try.

You wrecked your mind thinking about the day Danny died. Where were you at that moment? You glanced at your smartphone, pick it up and skimmed through the pictures.

You saw a picture of you and your mother at some bakery. You frowned. You thought you could use it. It was on the day Danny died. The bakery located not too far from the scene of the accident. If you rushed to the street where Danny is, maybe you can push him from harm's way.

With that in mind, you put all your focus on that picture.

The Doctor entered the room with Yaz. The later apparently had ignored your request and tell on you.

The Doctor called your name but you ignored her in favor of the picture. She approached you and saw the note you wrote earlier. Her eyes widened before she turned to you. "What are you doing, (name)?"

You flinched at her tone but you continued to stare hard at the picture. You could feel it as you were pulled into that moment again.

7777

"We should get that cakes too. It looked delicious." You heard your mother said.

You glanced at the street outside the bakery. You apologizes to your mother muttering about work emergencies and rushed outside immediately.

You ran as fast as you can. You were out of breathe. You saw Danny standing still on the street after hearing Clara's love confession. You called out his name but he seemed not to hear you.

You ran toward him and pushed him away from the oncoming car. But as you did, you got hit hard by the car.

You were in pain. Your vision is black and white now. You saw Danny hovering over you, trying to save your life.

7777

You fell from your bed and as usual followed with the damn headache as you welcome the new memories.

You survived the car accident but you couldn't move very well now, having to use a walking stick.

You woke up to a bad news. Clara told you that your mother died during a robbery gone wrong. Apparently after you left the bakery, your mother went to a bank to get some money. It got robbed. One of the hostages tried to be a hero. There was a struggle and your mother ended up shot by a stray bullet.

You were crying on the funeral. Danny and Clara were by your side. Danny is extra nice with you for you did save his life. Clara tried to be there for you. The Doctor tried to comfort you awkwardly.

You were alone, trying to change the past once more but you can't. You thought a head injury like the last time the Master tortured you might do the trick.

Clara and Danny found you. They thought you were suicidal. They were concerned. The Doctor also concerned.

You pretended to be calm to get them to back off. You were being mean to them, trying to get them away from you.

That night, you cried as you stared at your mother's picture. You remembered what your mother said about your love of taking pictures reminded her of your father. Apparently, your father has obsession with pictures. Your father who died on an accident. Could it be...?

You grabbed one of the random picture of your late father. You focused on it but it didn't work. You hit yourself over the head a few times in frustation.

You must have lost your mind as you purposely giving yourself a concussion. You were unable to focus as your head filled with pain but you grabbed the picture of your father.

You pleaded for it to work and it did.

"Don't tell your mother about this. It will be our little secret, okay?" You heard your father said.

You felt like someone just punched you on the chest. Tears filled your eyes as you hugged your father.

Your father is concerned of your sudden tears. He glanced at you with a frown. "You are not my (name), aren't you? Are you from the future?"

You hitched a breathe. This confirmed it. "I need your help. I don't know what to do."

You told him about Clara, Danny and your mother.

Your father had said the same thing as the Doctor, not to change the past. It won't end well. He learned that the hard way.

"If you really think so, why do you keep taking pictures of the moments in our life? Those were insurances, right?"

Your father didn't confirm it but the grim look on his face pretty much say everything. "I tried not to slip into the past, not unless I have to."

He suggested you restore the correct time, letting Clara died on Trap Street. But you were stubborn, believing you can save Clara, Danny and your mother. You just need to plan it more.

Your father shot you a disapproval look. But before he can say anything, you were being pulled away from that moment.

You woke up on the hospital room. Clara, who is worried for you, had found you on the floor bleeding and unconcious.

You were strapped to the bed. They thought you are suicidal. You demanded to be released.

Clara had called the Doctor, inform him of your condition.

The Doctor, wanting to save you, invaded your mind. You put a door on your mind to stop him from finding out about your reasoning for fear he will try to remove the tumor, rendering you useless.

You fought so hard you ended up having a seizure. The Doctor had no choice but to leave your mind alone as the doctor in charge of you quickly tried to save your life. The doctor revealed to your friends that you have an inoperable tumor. They were devastated.

The Doctor wanted to take you to an alien hospital that actually have the technology needed to help you but is worried the consequence of changing your fate. Clara begged him to save you.

You woke up on that alien hospital, recognizing that what you feared about to come true. You pretended to be calm in front of the Doctor and Clara, asking for your smartphone, wanting to have a picture of your mother.

The Doctor looked suspicious of you but it is not like he has any idea of what the pictures on the smartphone are to you.

You were able to barricade yourself in the toilet where you frantically searched for the picture of you and your mother in the bakery.

Clara and the Doctor knocked on the door in frantic as they called your name.

"We should get that cakes too. It looked delicious." You heard your mother said.

"Mom..." You whispered in relief. You hugged her tight.

"What has gotten into you?" Your mother asked you as she hugged you back.

You pulled away from her, instructing her not to go to the bank, insisted that she promised much to her confusion. You gave her your wallet and then you dashed away to the street where Danny is.

You ran toward the street in hope you were not too late. You saw Danny and like before you dashed toward him but someone suddenly grabbed you away from him.

You watched in horror as the car hit Danny hard. You screamed.

The one who grabbed you dragged you away from the scene. It was then you noticed who it was. It was the Doctor. The female Doctor.

Your mouth dropped open as you saw her. She was staring at you grimly. You blinked at her. "How...?"

She showed you the note: save Danny Pink, save Clara.

You blinked at that. You glanced at her guiltily much like a child got caught with her hand inside a cookie jar.

She demanded you tell her how you were able to hijact your past self.

You clutched your head in pain suddenly much to her concern.

You jerked awake with a gasp. You opened your eyes and saw the female Doctor hovering over you in concern.

You have a mighty headache. You felt so weird getting stuck from one moment to another so helpless as you felt like free falling within it without safety. In your haste to overwrite moment after moment, you have no idea where you landed to.

You couldn't hear what she said as your nose started bleeding again and your vision is clouded.

You woke up to the concerned face of the Doctor and the fam. You didn't feel so good.

According to the Doctor, your brain is on fire. You are dying fast. The Doctor begged you to tell you the truth.

You laid weakly on the bed, unable to focus. You asked about Clara and your mother.

The Doctor said your mother is fine but Clara was dead a long time ago on the ship with the cyberman while you were in a coma.

You were relieved that your mother is alive but frustrated that you failed Clara again.

"Tell me how you do it, (name)." The Doctor asked.

So, you told her everything. She was horrified to learn that Clara supposed to die on Trap Street instead on the ship. She was angry at you for changing her fate, blaming you for Clara being converted as a cyberman.

You were angry at the Doctor for abandoning you in your time of need after Clara's death on Trap Street.

"I was alone without my so called friends! Clara was dead and I need you but you left me all alone! I am dying in that hospital, with regret for losing Clara and you! Wishing I could do better, could do anything to change my life! How dare you blame for wanting Clara safe!"

The Doctor glared at you but tried to compose herself. She shook her head. "No wonder I felt a sense of wrongness in you..."

You flinched at that.

"Your ability...that is not normal, (name), no human should have that kind of ability." The Doctor whispered.

You thought of your father but you didn't mention him to her.

"You need to fix it, (name). Reset everything."

"No."

"(name)..."

"You are asking me to let Clara die!"

"You want to keep saving her even if someone else will pay the price? You very nearly lost your mother to your stupidity!"

"I don't want to be alone!" You cried out. "I will be in that hospital without Clara, without you! I don't want that!"

It was at that moment you realized maybe your motive for saving Clara is selfish, born from your desire not to be alone. But, it hurts. You tried to move on from them but you couldn't.

"You won't be alone." The Doctor grabbed one of your hands. "I will come back for you."

"How? If I reset this, this conversation never happened."

"I will find a way. I promise, (name), I will come back for you." She said.

You and her exchanged a long look. She gave you your smartphone. With heavy heart, you searched the picture that started all of these.

The Doctor glanced at you, nodding at you. "I will see you soon."

You glanced at her, knowing the Doctor lies. "Goodbye, Doctor." You whispered as tears filled your eyes.

7777

"I totally save you from having to marry a sentient giant tree!" Clara laughed gleefully.

You blinked a few times, disoriented to suddenly found yourself back inside the Tardis. You smiled melancholy as you watched those two exchanged banters at each other.

The phone ringing loudly. You blurted out that it was Rigsy.

And the rest happened as you remembered it should be with one different. You suddenly hugged Clara and then the Doctor, knowing that would be the last day you would see them.

7777

"You okay, (name)?" Grace had asked you suddenly.

You blinked out of your daze and gave her a small smile.

Grace nodded, writing something on your chart before leaving the room.

You glanced down at your picture album with a sigh before turning to look at the scenery outside your windows.

And so, you waited for that person to fulfil her promise even though you know it was futile. You were tempted to slip into one of the happy memories, just to relive that moments, promising yourself that you won't change a thing.

You picked up a picture from the albums and focused on it.

You always watching them with a bittersweet smile on your lips, watching them exchanged banters. Clara being all snarky with the Doctor not missing a beat to keep up.

You felt a sharp pain inside your head. You laid down to sleep. That night, you took your last breath in your sleep.

The wheezing sound of the Tardis filled the room but you no longer able to hear it.

A/N: Butterfly effect, anyone? This fic is inspired by that movie. Recently, I rekindle my love for the first movie of it. I just love the bittersweet ending where the main characters meet by accident again on the street but still walked away from each other. But the other ending where the main character erased himself is so painful to watch. Anyway, I very nearly give up on this story. The phrase 'keep it simple, stupid' come over me again and again in hope to get this over with. This will contain plotholes, please don't mind them.

#doctor who x reader #12th doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor x reader #doctor who fanfiction #doctor who imagine #shiefenwrites

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heliads · 3 years

Text

Being Miss Misery

Based on this request: “a fic with newt based off mr perfectly fine by taylor swift”

masterlist

If you were going to describe the one thing you looked forward to each morning, the one person who made you want to fight your whole life to escape the Maze, you would say it was Newt. How could you not? You love him, after all. Or, you loved him. There are days when you wish you could go back in time and tell yourself that you had gotten it all wrong, that some dreams were just meant to stay dreams and never become real. Then again, if you had never let yourself jump this time you’d spend the rest of your life thinking about the fall you could have had.

In the end, you suppose there was no way you could have ever chosen differently. No matter what happened, no matter what words were said, you could never quite forget how happy you were before, even when you were stuck in the Maze. That was the best thing about Newt, after all- he made you smile like no one else ever could. There’s always a second side to every coin, though, and that means that he has hurt you in a way so unique to him that no one else could ever hope to mimic it. No matter how many times Janson or WICKED tried to hurt you, nothing would ever cut quite as deep as this.

With every story, there’s a start. A reason why things ended up the way they did. Yours begins with the Box, the same way every other Glader remembers their first day. There is no before, not in the Maze. Just the Box, and what comes after. Everything else has been wiped from your mind, cleared away like fog from a glass. Gone, never to be found again.

You had been pulled from the metal box and stood, squinting, letting your eyes adjust to the sudden bright sunlight. You had looked around, taking in the sight of the massive stone walls surrounding you and felt your pulse start to skyrocket. Before you could really start to panic, though, a voice sounded out from behind you. It was quiet, peaceful, and you knew from that second that you would be alright.

“That’s the Maze.” You had turned to face a blond boy, one with a limp and a slight accent that tinged his words the same stilted gold as a piece of bronze. “The Maze?” The boy had nodded sagely. “You’re in the Glade now, greenie. The Maze keeps us stuck in here.” You had nodded again, and the boy apparently took pity on you, softening his tone even more, folding it up into a more peaceable sound. “I’m Newt, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

You had started for the usual greeting, the fine, thank you, and I’m- but the problem was that you couldn’t remember your own name. No place, no history, no name. It’s like you were a blank canvas, but one that had once held the most brilliant of landscapes if you could only remember it. Newt had clicked his tongue softly. “You won’t remember it, love. It’ll take a while before your name comes back to you. Don’t worry, everyone forgets.” You had stared at him. “Where are we? I know it’s the Glade, but where is it?”

Newt had shrugged. “Nobody knows. We all just showed up here, one at a time, with no memory or anything except the shirt on our backs. You can ask all the questions you want, but we won’t have any answers.” He had looked at you sideways then. “Actually, don’t ask all the questions. We told that to Chuck-” he points to a young boy with a mop of curly brown hair, “-and he took us too literally. Don’t think we slept for a week. All we heard was questions.”

You bite back a laugh. “Sounds good, Newt. I’ll keep my questions in the single digits.” Newt flashes you a smile that seems as bright as the sun. “I like you already. I think we’re going to get along very well.” If only he had known how true that would be. If only you had known, so that you could stay away.

You’re not sure you can remember quite when you realized you loved him. In the end, the exact date doesn’t really matter. It happened, you couldn’t shake it, and it felt like the most beautiful mistake you might ever make. In the Glade, you couldn’t count on anything- not the weather, not the people, not even the Maze, which changed each night. When Newt had told you how he felt one night by the campfire, you were sure that it would haunt you for the rest of your life, that it was too good to be true or too good to last.

You had started to stand up, ready to hurry away and pretend like you hadn’t heard a word. Newt had stood up too, taking your hand and keeping you by his side. “I’m not going to break your heart, Y/N. I promise. I’m not going anywhere, alright? I’ve been waiting for you all my life, and I want to be here with you. Right by your side, until the end.” You had smiled at him then, finally letting the last of your walls down. When he kissed you, even the whoops of the other Gladers weren’t enough to dissuade you.

There was nobody like him, that much was true. He made the Glade better, made even the stormiest days feel like a cloudless blue. You came to trust him, to depend on him. You believed that he wouldn’t leave. It was like he said, right? He looked you in the eye and told you he would never go away. You two were practically inseparable, and it was the best feeling on the entire planet.

When Thomas arrived, bringing with him the destruction of the Glade and promises that he could get everyone out, you thought it was the best thing you’d heard in a while. You had held Newt’s hand while you ran through the Maze, dodging Grievers and doing everything in your power to keep the other alive. That was what you did best, after all- loving each other, staying together. You can still remember that one night before you left, when fires had been burning the homesteads down and the shrieks of dying Gladers echoed through the night. It drives you to run faster, to move farther away from everything that had happened and all the horrors you had seen.

Newt had taken your hand in his, pulling you close in the dark of the night. “We’re getting out of here, alright? Promise. I love you, Y/N, and we can finally have a life outside of all this.” You had smiled at him, letting him press a kiss to your cheek. It sounded perfect, that was the problem. Perfectly fine, and none of it was true, although you’d have no way of knowing it then.

That day seemed to pass in a blur, and the next day, and the next. You made it out of the Maze, out of the nest of Grievers, and into a pressed-clean WICKED facility. They promised you safety, shepherding you into groups of other boys and girls who’d managed to make it out of their respective Mazes. When Newt gestured for you to talk to him separately, away from the other boys from your Maze, you had assumed nothing of it. How wrong you had been.

His voice was quiet, eyes darting over to the other boys as if wanting to make sure that they didn’t hear. “I want to break up with you, Y/N.” You had stared at him, not able to understand. “What?” He swallowed, then repeated himself. “I want to break up with you. I’m really sorry, Y/N, but I don’t think this is going to work out. I just- I stayed with you for longer than I should have in the Maze, because I thought we were going to die, but-”

You cut him off, feeling your tone turn icy. “You’re done now because our lives aren’t at risk anymore? You don’t have to feel guilty about it?” Newt winces. “It’s not like that, Y/N. Honest. You’re a great girl and all that, I just don’t think it’s working out anymore. Sorry.” With one last insincere apology, he turns and walks towards the rest of the boys, his step considerably lighter as if a sudden burden has been relieved from his shoulders. You’re left to stand there, alone and mute and utterly heartbroken.

There’s nothing left to do except pick up your broken pieces and go back to the table with the others. Even this brief moment of weakness, this one last hesitation by the door, has drawn looks of confusion from the Gladers. You force a smile, a spring in your step, and sit down next to them. If you make sure not to sit next to the backstabbing blond boy, well, that’s nobody’s business but your own.

The days blend together, one into the next. You didn’t realize how much you depended on seeing Newt, talking to him, saying something clever and warranting a smile, until it was all gone. You were still a Glader, and that meant that when everyone escaped the WICKED compound he made sure you stayed alive like the others, but for once, there are no more strings attached. No promises to make it out, no lies told to make it through the night. This is what it was like in the beginning, you remind yourself, and you have to learn to deal with it once more. If only it was as easy to do it as it is to say it.

Now you sit alone at a campfire in the Scorch, watching white-hot sparks cascade into the open air. Your friends from the Glade have met up with the girls from Group B and some members of the Right Arm, meaning that you’re in a crowd for the first time in a while ever since entering the Scorch. All around you, people are taking advantage of the sudden numbers to mingle and chatter with the din of a flock of birds, but not you. No, you use the overwhelming mass of people to hide away, blending into another silhouette in the desert.

It appears you’re not to be alone forever, though. Someone slumps down into the seat next to you. You smile ruefully at the expression on her face- the same heartsick, stupidly trusting look that you have no doubt has been on your own. Brenda, it appears, is not doing well with the sight of Thomas parading back and forth with Teresa.

“Having a good night, Brenda?” She gives you a look. “About as well as you, I think. How are you, by the way? I heard you were dating Newt in the Maze but if looks could kill I think he’d be worse off than the Cranks.” You sigh. “We were dating, that much is true. He broke up with me out of the blue, broke my heart for no reason other than the fact that he didn’t feel like he had to protect me anymore as we were out of the Maze.”

Brenda stares at you, all thoughts of Thomas banished. “He didn’t say that. Tell me he didn’t say that.” You nod, smiling bittersweetly. “He did indeed. Mr. Casually Cruel, that’s his new name from now on.” Brenda looks over at you. “If he’s Mr. Casually Cruel, what does that make you?” You prop your chin up on your hands, staring with unseeing eyes at the throngs of people around you. “Miss Misery, I guess. He’s perfectly fine, I’m falling apart.”

Your eyes find a familiar figure in the crowd, one you’ve been doing your best to avoid but always seeming to return to. “The worst part is that he moved on so quickly. You’d think he’d forgotten he’d ever heard my name. I mean, look at him.” You jerk your chin towards a pair of figures on the opposite side of the roaring campfire: a blond boy, arms wrapped around Harriet. He smiles at her, lingering traces of his face disappearing into a haze of heat from the flames in between you.

“I’ve been picking up the pieces of my heart, he’s been picking up her. I’m starting to think that I never meant anything to him at all.” Brenda clicks her tongue indignantly. “That jerk. Hey, if you ever need someone to accidentally push him off a cliff-” You cut her off, laughing. “I’ll look to you first. Don’t think we’ll need that quite yet, though.” Brenda folds her arms across her chest. “You don’t need him, though. Honestly. He wants to promenade around here like he’s Mr. Always Wins, fine. He just walked out on the best thing in his life and he doesn’t even realize it.”

You smile at your friend, a true smile this time. “Thanks, Brenda. Now, if you could keep your same advice around Thomas-” Brenda holds up her hands, starting to laugh. “We’re not talking about that! I changed my mind, let’s go back to Newt.” If you’re so distracted by the conversation and laughter with your friend that you don’t notice a certain blond boy looking your way, eyes drawn to you again and again even if he does his best to pretend otherwise, maybe it’s for the best.

The night is late, stars hung in the sky as if by some absentminded hand. The fire has died away to ash and coals, tendrils of smoke starting to creep up to the horizon. The din of the gathering has proved a little too much for you, and you’ve chosen to fade away into the night, your feet carrying you further and further from the center of the group. You lean against a rough rock face, letting your eyes trace the curves and stars of the night sky. You’re distracted enough by the sights that you don’t hear the uneven footsteps coming up behind you, the telltale lurch of a boy with a limp.

“You always liked looking at the stars, didn’t you?” You startle at Newt’s voice, appearing out of nowhere. You shake yourself, forcing your shoulders to sink and relax once more. “They’re beautiful. Always have been.” Newt’s smile is as sure as a running river, always strategized, always well-placed. There’s a confidence there, too, an edge. Proof that he’s so far above you in every sense, above feeling anything at all. “Just like you.”

You raise an eyebrow. After everything he’s put you through, after everything that destroyed you but never fazed him, you’ve learned to doubt a careless compliment like this. That may be all you’ve learned, but it is enough. Newt takes your silence as an invitation to keep speaking. “I think I’ve made a mistake, Y/N. You’ve always been so good to me, you know? Always here to stay, always at the right place at the right time. I hate to speak too quickly, but would you consider giving me another chance?”

You’ve thought about this moment for a long time. Mr. Perfectly Fine, Mr. Casually Cruel, finally seeing you in new eyes and realizing that by leaving you he was giving up everything you might have had together. But you’ve seen this moment through a hundred times in your head, and for once your head is clear, eyes bright and looking forward instead of on what might have happened. You know your answer, once and for all.

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