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lorelune · 2 days

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O4O: part i

|| jing yuan x reader || E/18+ || omega for omega, soft smut || wc: 10.3k || ao3 ||

Jing Yuan has been content riding out his heats alone for centuries. You, despite being another omega, are happy to lend a hand if Jing Yuan will have you.

minors, antis and ageless blogs dni

💦🎀 this piece is apart of SPRING FEVER: an omegaverse collab! 🎀💦

part i (here) — part ii (coming soon!)

notes: hello omega jing yuan omega jing yuan save me... the way omega jy has haunted me for months. MONTHS. this fic is incredibly indulgent soft, needy smut with non-traditional a/b/o dynamics. THANK YOU to the lovely @owlespresso for beta reading!! please read the tags and enjoy!! <3

CW: a/b/o dynamics, omega jing yuan (with afab and amab anatomy), omega reader (afab anatomy), past yingxing/jing yuan/dan feng, bottom jing yuan flavors (though reader does not do any penetration), use of toys, worldbuilding around omegaverse, lots of biting, milfy jing yuan, mommy kink without the word mommy (at least not in this part 👀💗!!),

Jing Yuan has not shared his heat with anyone in a very, very long time. Centuries, most certainly. Jing Yuan doesn’t find it very useful to keep track of that length of time— he finds it cumbersome if anything. There’s no use holding onto a past that only forces him to redigest pain.

Jing Yuan rarely has heats. He keeps a diligent schedule of medication and only has to go through them once every decade or so. Occasionally less, if the Luofu is passing a particular star system or comet field. His heats are always cumbersome. He can conceal his omegan sensibilities often, but it is more difficult prior to a heat.

Preheat is a different beast.

When Jing Yuan sequesters himself in his estate for the better part of a week, anyone who knows he’s even there assumes it is to go through a rut. A week is a standard amount of time to take off for a rut and is expected. However, a heat has a standard time off of about two and a half weeks. Much longer to accommodate preheat and nesting needs.

Jing Yuan rarely indulges his own.

The Luofu, at large, assumes he is an alpha. This is manufactured, however only partially. Generally, the citizens of the Luofu assume, given that he is the General and he has a larger, broad-shouldered stature, that he is an Alpha through and through. He always wears scent patches in public, which is normal for both omegas and alphas. Betas, too, occasionally. Depending on the subtype. The Charioteers know that he is an omega, but they are committed to some amount of discretion and guard the information as a secret. Lady Fu, an alpha, will occasionally scold him for being so secretive. Like he harbors some sort of self-hatred that he is an omega.

It is simply more convenient for him to be seen as an alpha. Jing Yuan doesn’t wish to disturb this perception.

And therefore, it is much easier to wait as long as possible between heats and bear them alone. Whatever instincts he has can be satiated with toys and a half-decent nest. Jing Yuan has always considered this enough. ‘Enough’.

(It’s not sating. Jing Yuan cannot lie to himself about this. He remembers laying with Yingxing, and how the alpha made him feel more full and content than Jing Yuan had ever thought possible during a heat. Or ever, truthfully. He remembers how calming Dan Feng’s presence had been— grounding and reassuring, too. Jing Yuan was fucked, filled and protected. An omega’s dream.)

Jing Yuan... copes with what he has. A large, plush bed with a downy mattress, a few donated, alpha-scented garments, and a collection of inflatable, knotting toys. He always leaves his heat with lingering cramps, a brutalized hole, and a yearning that takes a few weeks to quiet itself.

It is natural that he craves his mates. Even if they are long dead (not dead. Not really. Not the same as they once were, anyway.)

And certainly, never to be his again. The mating mark on his neck has long faded.

Jing Yuan tracks his heat so such yearning can be anticipated and planned for. He knows when his heat is approaching, down to the specific day it will occur. He titrates off his suppressants carefully, and maps out a portion of time off for himself a year or so in advance.

Which is why it is very odd that he starts exhibiting preheat symptoms in the middle of the day, a random day, during a tactical meeting.

Even if he had been titrating down his dose in anticipation for a planned heat in a few months time, it is far, far too early to begin feeling symptoms. The familiar itchiness prickling under his skin is entirely unexpected. Jing Yuan has to put a particularly large amount of effort to get through this unnecessary meeting without letting a single symptom slip. He can only adjust in his seat so many times before it is improper, or juggle the cradle of his jaw from one hand to the other before it is clear something is wrong.

If any of the Charioteers and their advisers notice anything amiss with him, they say nothing. The only one who looks off-put is Fu Xuan. She’s a spitfire alpha herself, and perhaps she’s keen enough to notice that Jing Yuan is beginning to feel... unwell. Though he is masking his scent as he always does, he imagines that the flush in his cheeks is becoming increasingly obvious.

Fu Xuan gives Jing Yuan a wary look as the meeting is dismissed.

“General,” She says curtly. “Are you well?”

“I’m fine,” He gives her a rich laugh as he stands, muffling a groan as his stiff back and knees ache. He’d sat for too long. He feels light-headed as he rights himself and Fu Xuan glares at him.

“I doubt that,” Fu Xuan huffs. “I will not interrogate you in public, nor do I think you would give me an honest answer even if I did—”

“So little trust in me, Master Diviner—”

“ However, I will urge you to go home. ” She takes a step closer and sniffs the air. It’s just the two of them in the meeting room now, the rest of the parties in attendance having filtered out. Subtly and without fanfare, she takes his hand in her own, and presses her wrist to his. Jing Yuan keeps an easy grin on his face but can’t help the way he tenses his fingers, flexing them at the contact. “Do you need an escort?”

“Is Lady Fu worrying for me? How kind.”

“I’m— not, ” Fu Xuan huffs now and more roughly smears their wrists together. The scent gland she is almost abusing is swollen and hot to the touch. It takes all of his composure not to squirm with her treatment. “I’m no fool. If you have a heat starting, you should be comfortable at home, not in a war room.”

“Master Diviner, you think I’m an omega?” Jing Yuan says with a smile. He knows she is already privy to this, but he can’t resist teasing her a bit.

“You are insufferable. Even in this state. Go home. I will take you there myself.”

“I’m afraid I can’t return home just yet,” He hums. He imagines he has a few hours before proper pre-heat sets in. “I have a lunch date that I cannot miss.”

“You— a lunch date?”

“Yes, of course. It’s a scheduled event, dear Diviner.”

“Do not patronize me.”

Jing Yuan laughs as she fumes. He has the urge to ruffle her hair, but thinks better of it. The complicated updo would surely be ruffled, and Jing Yuan is already getting an earful as it is.

“I would never.”

Fu Xuan yanks her arm away with a growl. She wears some type of masking perfume, she always has, but with her frustration swirling, a bit of her actual scent peaks through. It’s light on the back of his tongue, floral almost. Nearly inedible, but the kind of scent Jing Yuan that makes him nostalgic—

(For a master with a scent like frost-covered roses, and a packmate with a scent filled with springtime lilac blossoms in fat clusters.)

“If this lunch is really so necessary, may I escort you there at least? Or will your alpha be meeting you here?”

“They’re not an alpha.” Jing Yuan hums. His stomach feels warm regardless. “And I’ll be just fine getting there myself.”

Fu Xuan looks at him, questioningly. Her lips open, then close once more. There are questions she clearly has. And for all her brashness and hot-blooded fervor, she understands decorum better than most. She pries out of care and her good intentions, and Jing Yuan can respect that if nothing else.

“I’ll concede,” Fu Xuan sighs. “ However, please let me know if there’s anything else you need. You have my number.”

“Noted.” Jing Yuan rises, and feels the heat clouding his head sink lower in his body. He’s being engulfed.

Fu Xuan deadpans, “General—”

“Have a good rest of your day, Master Diviner,” He calls with a light laugh, slipping away before Fu Xuan can give him any further grief.

...

As the Arbiter General of the Luofu, Jing Yuan knows its streets and secrets very well. There’s more than one way to arrive at his favored terrace garden without being seen or smelt by the public. It is helpful that this path is lined near an aqueduct stream, surrounded by lush greenery and clumps of fragrant azure asters. This path is tucked away, straddling an external tunnel of the Luofu’s inner tunnels. Really, only the Calibrators aboard the ship use it, and as there are only a few and they tend to keep to their delve, Jing Yuan has very little fear walking this way at his own leisure.

He is glad you tend to take your lunch dates in the privacy of this particular garden, under the gazebo and nestled atop its many silken blankets and pillows. A conventional restaurant in this state would be doable, but unideal.

Jing Yuan can smell you as he approaches. It makes him pause, just outside the gate. His hands hovers over his jade abacus as he opens his mouth to taste you in the back of his mouth.

(Warm, a familiar scent that he associates with the rare indulgence of relaxation. It’s not overly sweet or ripe, but balanced and full-bodied. Not quite floral or fruity, and not deep enough to be akin to an aged black tea. Perhaps like the roll of a hearth or the beeswax of a lit candle.)

He’s sighs. It calms him instantly.

Even if you aren’t an alpha, you are familiar, as is the current setting.

You’re sitting at a low table in the shade of the gazebo. There are several plates of cheeses, cut fruits, salted meats, and nuts laid out. You’re ladling sticky honey into a small dish as he enters, and look up at the sound of the gate closing.

You smile when you see him.

“General,” You smile. “I apologize, I started setting up lunch without you. Everything should still be chilled.”

“No need to be sorry,” he laughs gently, brushing a hand against your shoulder before rounding the table, and taking a seat across from you. “I could never complain about your diligence. You have chosen quite the spread today, haven’t you?”

You flush with a nod, and gesture down to the table, “The markets were lovely today, I had to splurge. You’ll have to let me know what you think.”

“Only if you do the same.”

“I-I can do that,” You smile at him softly.

Despite your familiarity, you still regard him with some amount of anxiety. Jing Yuan has long since placed this has less to do with his status as General, and more than likely due to a deepened amount of affection that Jing Yuan... entertains. Enjoys. Thrives off of, even. He perhaps returns it, though he hasn’t told you that explicitly.

Besides, you believe him to be an alpha. He’s sure that, if you did know his secondary gender, such affections would fade quickly. The allure of what he could provide as an alpha is quite different from what he can provide as an omega.

Jing Yuan takes a sip of sparkling juice, and as he lowers the thin-necked glass, you look at him strangely. A crease knits itself between your brows.

“Did I get some on my face?” Jing Yuan chuckles and wipes at the corners of his mouth with his thumb.

“No... you just,” You stumble with your words, hands flexing in your lap. “Are... are you alright? Your cheeks look quite warm, and you’re sweating around your hairline.”

You always have been keen to bodies other than your own. It’s not the most common trait.

“... Am I?” Jing Yuan could choose to lie at this moment. It would be easy to say he was using a new brand of suppressants, or blame it on a stressful day. However, he doesn't like lying to you, only twisting the truth when entirely necessary. “I do suppose I’m at that point in my cycle.”

“Oh!” You startle and sit up more straight. You push a plate at him. “Pre-rut? You should eat, then. You’ll need your strength. Do— do you have someone I can call? I don’t mind.”

Your worry is cute.

Jing Yuan can’t help thinking about it. You are an omega full of so much care and urge to help. Jing Yuan has seen it and experienced it many times, and has also seen how it has gotten you into unfortunate situations. You have a trusting mind and spirit, and more than once, it has been used against you.

Jing Yuan likes keeping you close, so he can look after you, even if it’s from a distance.

He stares down at the plate. There’s a pile of glistening orange grapes, a few roses of sliced, cured meats, a chunk of honeycomb, and buttery looking crackers. It does look delicious, however Jing Yuan has always struggled to eat in his pre-heat. When he looks up at you to decline, your expression looks even more worried, almost sour.

Before he can speak, you are. Petal-soft lips lips downturned. “Are you... not in pre-rut, General?”

He deflates, slightly. He is old— and. He does not wish to steer you away from what is a correct assumption. You are his most trusted companion.

“I am not,” He says softly, and picks up one of the grapes. He squeezes. The skin is taut and tight. “And, please call me Jing Yuan. Formalities can be dropped, yes?”

“I— yes, of course.” You look from his plate to him. “So, you’re... pre-heat?”

“I am, yes.”

“Oh!” You immediately heap his plate with several other kinds of fruit, and grab a clean glass and pour ice water from a pitcher into it. “I apologize— for. Making such an assumption.”

“No need to apologize.” He soothes and lays a hand over yours. “I’m aware of what the vast majority of the Luofu assumes my secondary gender to be. It does not bother me. If it did, I would have corrected the greater public long ago. I apologize for not telling you directly until now.”

“It’s— okay,” you reply. Perhaps a bit hurt. “I never asked. I just— I just thought. Wrong.”

(Please be kinder to yourself, he thinks. It hurts to see you saddened on my account.)

“Nonsense,” he laughs and gracefully takes the water you offer. He downs the glass down his parched throat. He— hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. “No harm done. If anything, I’m grateful that you now know.”

(Regardless of how it could change your feelings toward him.)

Jing Yuan has tempered heartbreak for millenia. Another one— is not nothing, but it is manageable. Perhaps not during preheat, but he still has time to mourn.

“I’m glad too,” you tell him, and squeeze back his hand. You only scent him sometimes, always so shy about it, but now you firmly rub the scent gland in your wrist against his. His aches, and the sensation and exchange of pheromones nearly makes him wheeze. He straightens his spine.

“Was that—?” You almost pull away.

“No, it’s very welcome.”

You stare at him, intent and soft, before settling. Tentatively, you rub at the gland in gentle circles.

“You should eat,” you say after a moment. “Do you have an alpha I can call? Or— um, anything you need me to pick up for you?”

“I am fine.” Jing Yuan will text Qingzu for the essentials, rather than troubling you. “I’ll finish lunch with you, and then see myself home.”

“... No alpha to pick you up?”

“None to speak of, no.” Jing Yuan manages a smile.

(It has been— centuries since Jing Yuan had an alpha to care for and stake a claim on him. The notion of finding another has been put out of his mind since he himself had to confine Dan Feng to the Shackling Prison and exile the man Yingxing became. Even after meeting them as they are today, Jing Yuan knows they are no longer his mates.)

“Oh.”

Every one of your emotions is so clearly on your face. You look so sad for him and you squeeze his hand. He has half a mind to pull away, and remind you that he does not need your worry. However, he is in pre-heat, and by Lan, he is craving worry.

“And... heatmates?” You ask. “I don’t want to pry, but it’s hard to spend a heat alone.”

“Once again, none.” Jing Yuan replies without hesitating. The silence that follows is poignant as you study him.

“I see.” You frown again, clearly thinking. Jing Yuan can see the thoughts turning around just behind your eyes. You pile on even more fruits to his plate. “Eat, eat. You need it.”

“This much fruit will give me a stomach ache, I fear.”

“Some of it, at least!” You huff at him. “For me, please?”

Jing Yuan meets your gaze, easy and soft. There’s no threat, only the heat that matches your scent and the feel that radiates in his chest.

(You are not his alpha. You are something entirely different— something that he wants so badly to hold.)

“For you.”

...

By the end of lunch (in which, Jing Yuan does manage to eat a decent amount of the fruit you’d put on his plate), Jing Yuan’s pre-heat has begun to simmer into a more uncomfortable territory. He desperately wants to shed his uniform and armor, and slip into a robe and no bottoms. He hasn’t begun to slick yet, but he will surely start to by sundown.

Jing Yuan stands after the meal, stretching. It’s proper afternoon now, and the birds of the garden chirp eveningsong.

“Jing Yuan?” You ask as he stretches his arms above his head. His name sounds lovely in your mouth.

He hums, “Yes?”

“Do you want a heatmate?” You ask quietly.

He looks at you.

You’re fiercely meeting his gaze, even though you’re clearly struggling to. Your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth, and you’re fighting a frown from the crinkles on your forehead. Regardless, you stand your ground and ask a question that is surely difficult to broach, especially so directly.

“I—I am offering.” You stammer. “To clarify.”

“To be my heatmate?”

“Yes— I hate to think of you suffering alone, Jing Yuan. If I can be by your side to ease it, if only a little, I would like to be.”

“That is very brave of you to ask.” He smiles with a tilt of his head. “And bold.”

“I— I’m being honest.” You almost whine. It’s so cute. “Is that a no?”

“No, not at all.” Jing Yuan replies. “However, I wouldn’t want you to help solely for my benefit. If you wish to enter my nest exclusively to be an aid, and not out of... personal wants, I would feel guilty.”

“It’s— it’s personal wants too.”

“... Is it now?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“Even though I’m not an alpha, as you thought?”

“Yes.”

“You’re certain.”

“ Yes, Jing Yuan.”

“I cannot give you a knot—”

“I do not need one!” You break, much to Jing Yuan’s amusement. “I am happy to be by your side, regardless of that! If anything, I’m more than happy to share a nest with you without the assurance of a limp and a potential pup.”

Jing Yuan smiles, almost unrestrained, and your cheeks heat deliciously.

You stammer, and poke at his chest, “You’re teasing me—!”

“I apologize, you must forgive me—”

“ Rude—!”

Your bury your face in his chest and nuzzle there. It’s— clearly a self soothing action, one you realize a moment too late isn’t quite proper. You stiffen, beginning to draw away, before Jing Yuan catches you by your scruff and holds you there.

“You’re alright,” He holds a wide palm there. “I apologize for teasing you. I mean so warmly.”

“... Scoundrel.” The sound muffles into his chest.

“Am I?”

You peer up at him, so warm in the cheeks and eyes... almost watery. Something in his chest feels sticky and molten.

“ Yes—” You dare to meet his eyes again. “But, one I’m very fond of.”

Jing Yuan steels himself.

You are an omega. It is not your pheromones addling his mind. There is clarity in the attraction and affection he has for you, one not influenced by the urge to be knotted and bred. Though, Jing Yuan wants that, maybe part of him needs it. There is a trunk full of toys and implements he has tucked away that will sate the urge. The feelings that he carries for you will not so easily be placated.

“I would like it very much if you were to share my heat with me,” He speaks softly, just for the two of you to hear. Not even the garden birds will know his words. “If you are still offering.”

“Yes,” You say quickly, tentatively wrapping your arms around his waist. “Yes.”

He chuckles, easy and low, and presses his nose into your hair. Perhaps it’s pre-heat, making him sentimental and mushy. He usually hides out and bears it alone in his comfiest nest so these feelings typically do not get expressed in any other way other than delirious, anguished cries while a knotting toy takes the edge off.

Jing Yuan finds these are nice to indulge, as your scent envelopes him.

...

“I lied earlier,” Jing Yuan says as you enter the threshold of his estate. “I apologize sincerely.”

“Oh?” You ask with a tilt of your head, accepting a pair of house slippers eagerly. “... What about?”

“I am in pre-heat unexpectedly. Though I have been tapering suppressants for an anticipated heat, it has come far earlier than planned . Things are... not as I would like them. You’ll need to excuse me for a few moments.”

Jing Yuan, like any omega, is particular about his home and nest, especially around his heat. He knows his home and inner chambers are not to his liking and he’ll need to prepare them. Even if you aren’t an alpha entering his nest, you are a guest and companion he is very fond of. You deserve only the best.

“Of course, whatever you need,” you assure him. “Do you need me to grab anything while you do so? I don’t mind running to the market—”

Jing Yuan turns on his heel, grabbing your arm firmly, “You’re not leaving.”

“O-Oh.”

Your eyes widen, and heat rises in your cheeks. Your throat bobs as you swallow and nod. Jing Yuan— were he not in pre-heat, would perhaps be a bit embarrassed by his brazeness. However, now? The idea of you leaving his home sends him reeling. You cannot leave— not until you smell like him and his nest. Not until— not until this is over.

“I sent a request to Qingzu to fetch us a few things during the walk over. She’ll be here shortly. I do, however, have a bowl of fruit that could be cut up while I get myself sorted. How does that sound?”

You nod eagerly, happy to follow instruction. Jing Yuan knows this about you and enjoys it thoroughly.

He sets you up in the kitchen with a bowl of sunsiettas, a box of meldberries, and a few bunches of perfectly ripe, round kaishen grapes. Jing Yuan leaves you to the task, which he can already tell you will do dutifully. You thrive off of praise and direction. It’s a dangerous trait of an omega to carry, even more terrifying to hold openly as you do. Jing Yuan knows it has burned you before.

However, he intends to indulge you well and kindly, as it pleases him very much.

His mind, far-too warm and itchy, yearns to spin fantasies as he locks himself in his room with a shake of his head.

He must keep it together. Just for awhile longer. His bed is— not a nest. Not the nest he wants (needs) it to be. His duvet, thick and luxurious as it is, needs a fluffing and a fresh scenting. His pillows are not arranged to his liking, and he needs to poke through his linen closet and add some extra layers as well. He needs to make sure there’s lube nearby with clean toys. Water out. His phone charged and volume on— (though, he already sent a message to Qingzu stating his heat has hit and he’ll be out for at least a week. ‘Defer to Diviner Fu :3’ , which is Jing Yuan’s payment to Lady Fu for the list of errands he had sent her.)

Jing Yuan shakes his head with a laugh. The little alpha will certainly be pleased when she hear she’ll get to play General for a while.

Pre-heat drives him forward. He sheds his many layers (without aid, which is objectively a headache and he regrets not asking you for assistance initially. However, Jing Yuan is fairly certain that if he were to be fully bare around you, regardless of his pre- heat or not, he may jump you and drag you into his nest—)

Pre-heat is also making him somewhat irrational.

He throws on his favored robe, a silken, cream-colored garment with delicate gold and red embroidery around the hems. The sleeves drape at his wrists and a sash ties it snugly around his waist. The itch that’s been rolling around just under his skin feels duller, with the less restrictive garment. The fabric crosses over his chest in a way that is... revealing. Probably too revealing, under any other circumstance, especially given that you have never seen him in anything less than his daily regalia.

The thought of looking so indecent around you has its allure to it. One that Jing Yuan lets himself entertain with a smitten smile as he works.

He is attracted to you, surely. This he knows and has known.

Jing Yuan acknowledges that this is both emotional and physical. You are dear to him, truly. In a way that is unique to any of the connections, he holds in the present. Your presence is one he thoroughly enjoys, and, more than once, (many times), has craved during his late-evening ruminations in his courtyard. He— has thought about inviting you over, if for nothing else than a chat in the moonlight and tea or wine to your preference, however—

He has always stopped himself.

Yearning, he will allow in the ways he has learned to manage it over the centuries. Small doses of longing that can be enjoyed and swallowed down, without festering. Being brazen with his wants and feelings is... slipperier. Especially concerning you, as you are dear to him, and Jing Yuan, for better or for worse, would like to share space with you for as long as he can manage.

This attraction is regardless of secondary gender.

Jing Yuan has not cared about secondary gender for a great while (since he shared a bed with a short-lived alpha and one of Long’s Scions, who, like all Vidyadhara, did not have a secondary gender at all.)

Your presentation as an omega was never a deterrent to him. If anything, it was something of a comfort. Jing Yuan was claimed long ago, and he knows that no alpha’s claim will feel the same as Yingxing’s and he wouldn’t want anyone, especially you, to attempt to emulate it. The ownership of a claim was not something he sought. Jing Yuan has had his heart broken enough for this lifetime. He is sure you could rend his heart asunder, however it would not be in the way of losing a mate that he is biologically tied to.

Statistically, Jing Yuan is lucky that such a loss did not cause him to become Mara struck five hundred years ago.

He is very content with whatever your relationship could become. If nothing else, the prospect of it allures him. Especially now that you know his presentation and clearly seem undeterred yourself. If— if anything. Your scent calmed and cooled when he’d told you on the terraces.

Another thing that Jing Yuan will have to parse when he isn’t so wet that he’s leaving puddles in his wake.

For now, Jing Yuan’s nest is satisfactory aside from a few personal items.

Now, all it’s missing is you.

...

Jing Yuan does not find you in the kitchen, but rather the foyer, wishing Qingzu a goodbye with a wave and shout.

Jing Yuan must—

(Temper his instincts because you are far too close to the door and you need to be in his nest and his teeth need to be in you and his scent on you—)

“Jing Yuan,” you say to him warmly, with a smile. There are a few canvas bags on your arms. “How are you feeling—?”

Jing Yuan can’t stop himself from dragging you away from the tall set of doors and back to the kitchen. You squawk at his firmness, but don’t reject his touch. He helps you heft the bags onto a low table. His own arms shake, with both the strain and his own heat-induced weakness.

“It’s really progressing, huh?” You tentatively raise a hand, and place it on his forearm to stroke there.

Jing Yuan practically purrs when you rub over the silken fabric, “It is. Quickly. However, my nest and appropriate supplies are ready. Did Qingzu deliver all that I asked?”

“It seems so.”

There are— three more bottles of lube. A few pearly-looking medicine pills, a specialty item from the Alchemy Commission. Several stacks of ready-made meals and electrolyte powder. There are several vials of milky-looking oils he had her grab for more scandalous purposes as Jing Yuan would like to avoid any type of friction abrasion. Lastly, there are few unmarked boxes with new toys.

“You’re so well-prepared.” Your eyes are wide as you take stock of the haul. Jing Yuan bundles things into a basket and ushers you to his nest.

“I have gone through many heats,” he chuckles. “I have learned the best tricks.”

“I-I can see.”

As you enter his bedroom, you stare at his nest with wide eyes. You jump when Jing Yuan locks the door.

“... Is that alright?” Jing Yuan asks.

“Yes, yes, of course. I just—” You swallow. “I haven’t ever helped another omega through a heat. If you have any pointers or preferences, let me know while you’re still in your full mind, please? I’d like to make this as comfortable for you as possible.”

Jing Yuan thinks for a moment. With a tilt of his head, he rests his hands on your shoulders. Your scent is spiced, a bit nervous, but also undeniably aroused. Your gaze darts down to his exposed collarbones and chest, then quickly back up to his eyes. Heat rises fiercely in your cheeks.

“Your presence will be helpful in and of itself,” he assures you with a squeeze. Carefully, he hooks his thumbs on your outer garment and pulls it down, undoing buttons and ties along the way. Your lips part, breath hot. “I’ll guide you as I need. My heats tend to be mild, though they do last a full week. There will be lulls, which I tend to be quite worn out during. I’ll need your assistance more than anything.”

You nod, taking in his response.

Jing Yuan— he’s holding it together. Slick is beginning to drip down his inner thighs and there’s an ache in his core that feels heavier and hotter by the minute. However, he does want to do this part slowly. He prides himself on his patience. Piece by piece, he takes off your day clothes and tosses them into his nest. Without them, your scent is stronger. Your neck is bare from any topical or adhesive blockers.

“During the rest of it though?” You ask, softly. “When you’re in the throes of it.”

Jing Yuan hums, letting a shaking hand rest on the curve of your waist, “I’m not certain. It’s been quite some time since I’ve shared a heat with anyone.”

“... Really?”

“Yes.” Jing Yuan presses his lips to your forehead without thinking. The heat of it, of you, sinks into his own. He feels like he’s going to burn up. “Does that surprise you?”

“Yes.” You answer, and push yourself closer to his neck. Your lips part to taste his scent on the back of your tongue. “You are a catch. I know you have quite the lineup of suitors... I just assumed.“

“You also assumed I was an alpha.”

“The General is a skillful liar.”

Jing Yuan clicks his tongue, sliding a hand below your last garments. Satin, lacey things that are almost sheer. Thin. He could tear them easily, but doesn’t. His touch lingers.

“ Jing Yuan,” he reminds you. You stammer before pitching into him. He carefully walks the two of you backwards. His legs are close to giving out. “And I’d like to think of it as a skillful withholding of unnecessary information.”

“ Jing Yuan is very good with his words,” You murmur into the soft skin of his neck, lingering around one of the scent glands there. They ache, sore and unstimulated.

So carefully, you stretch up on your tiptoes to nose at one of them. Your scents bloom together and his eyes almost roll back into his head at the meld of it, the relief and rush of connection.

It’s the last push Jing Yuan needs before dragging you into his nest with a stifled moan. Coherency is shattered and all he can do is crave, crave, crave.

...

You are a good heatmate.

Astoundingly good. Attentive, kind, and so soft. It’s a relief to Jing Yuan, who’s heat-addled mind is so used to loneliness and cold. You do not have the scent or knot of an alpha, but you’re more than enough. It’s presence and comfort in a way Jing Yuan so, so missed. It’s enough in a different way— and that difference is good.

(You are not Yingxing or Dan Feng, and Jing Yuan is grateful that you aren’t.)

Jing Yuan finds himself on his back, with you wrapped around him. You let him pillow his cheek against your collarbone. His nose presses against your scent gland, and he pants against it with an open mouth and spit slicked lips. Your hand lays over his chest, cupping his breast while gently thumbing over his nipple. He’s so swollen there, aching.

He cries out as you pinch, as if it could relieve any of the pressure roiling around under his skin.

You curl closer into him with your lips against his temple. “Does that feel good?”

He can only keen and hope you understand that it’s a plea for more.

You must because a moment later you’re squeezing with your entire hand. It’s— too big of a handful for you. Your fingers are soft and your touch gentle. The visual of the plump flesh of his chest bulging out from between your fingers rewires Jing Yuan’s brain for a craving he never knew possible. A rush of slick gushes from his cunt and— it’s so much. He lurches into your neck, licking blindly at your scent gland. Vaguely, he notices you stiffen and your scent grows a little sharper.

It’s worry. Jing Yuan can’t have that.

With every ounce of his strength, Jing Yuan rolls you below him, and sits on your hips. You let him, so pliant and agreeable, and lay below him. Jing Yuan’s breath catches and drool slips to the corners of his mouth.

You are beautiful. You look debauched, and you’re not the one in heat. You’re flushed and damp with sweat, just as he is. The robe he’d draped you in is mostly open, revealing supple skin and your last bastion of modesty in the form of a cute pair of panties that Jing Yuan will fantasize about later.

You look up at him in awe, lust-hazed just like him. There’s little composure to be had as your fists ball up in the sheets around his thighs. Your gaze goes glassy as you look from his face down to where he’s seated atop you and back again.

“No teeth,” he assures you. It is the last coherent thought he has, if only to provide your some comfort.

You look up at him sweetly and nod, grabbing the plump flesh above his hips. “No teeth.”

(A claim wouldn’t take, anyway. Not really. Omega-to-omega pairings lack the necessary pheromones to stake a claim on each other. The most it would do would indicate that whoever has been bitten is a submissive-leaning packmate. Which— Jing Yuan actually would not mind biting you. He would like his teeth in your neck if you would ever allow him.)

He groans at the thought, lowering his head as a silver mane of hair spills around his face.

Jing Yuan is drenched and hard, leaking from the tip of his cock and seam of his cunt. It’s— filthy. You’re soaked too, with a mix of him and undoubtedly yourself too, though Jing Yuan can’t scent it over the smell of his own heat. It’s regrettable as he is sure the mix of you must be divine. Heavenly.

He wants it in his mouth.

Jing Yuan slinks down your body, licking and sucking at patches of your skin. You try to bat him off, haul him up and away from your own leaking sex, but he resists. He needs a taste or he’ll die, probably. His heat can be quelled in a number of ways, he presumes.

With his face buried in your cunt, surrounded by your scent, the ache for a knot is dulled. When you cry out on his tongue, it is almost deafened.

Jing Yuan drinks you up— he should pay more mind to your clit, probably, if he wants to get you off properly. However, he is so immensely distracted by your entrance and the essence of you that’s leaking out. There’s a rapidly widening damp spot beneath your ass. A steady flow that Jing Yuan needs in him.

He seals his mouth over your cunt, and prods his tongue inside of you. He presses so close, suffocating with his nose tight to your clit, to lap at your insides.

You— you wail above him. Your hands bury in his increasingly tangled mess of hair for any sort of leverage. Jing Yuan doesn’t let up; he doesn’t think he can. Your tone crashes into one that’s softer, more airy, begging for more. For less. Jing Yuan can’t entirely tell. He isn’t sure he cares, truthfully. All he knows is that your thighs tighten around his head with each suck and slurp.

The sound of it is heavenly.

Your thighs press around his face. Flush to his cheeks are the scent glands in the apex of your inner thighs. Not everyone has them, as they’re something of a recessive trait among all secondary genders. The scent that comes off them is your own, however muskier and deeper. It sticks to the inside of his nose and pours down his throat like a nectar. You mewl when he breaks away to lap at one, coaxing out more of the scent. He gluts himself on it.

He needs, he needs, he needs.

“Jing Yuan,” you pant above him, propping yourself up with one arm while the other blindly reaches among his nest. “Do you need it? Knot?”

He—

(He needs to be filled. He isn’t picky if that feeling is quenched with his cunt, ass, throat, or nose. The scent of you is almost enough, even if he clenches down on nothing and feels hollow in his belly. The sensations are so dull with you nearby. He feels heat incensed, but in a way that craves closeness with you and not the manic pursuit of a knot.)

It’s refreshing. Jing Yuan regrets not propositioning you for this treatment sooner.

“Are you offering?” Jing Yuan purrs. He places his thumbs over the scent glands of your inner thighs and presses down on the swell of them, just under your skin.

Your back bends off the bed and you throw your hand over your mouth. Teary eyes meet him and you nod. From the folds of the nest, you pull forth a knotting toy with a shaking grip.

It’s beautiful for a toy. It’s a model that Jing Yuan had seen in a few high-end adverts on the few social medias he moonlighted on. It’s a flesh-like plastic cock, with an inflatable knot at the base. A little, wired remote drags along the blankets of his nest as you hold the phallus out to him. The plastic of the toy is a light gold, cut with veins of blue. It looks otherworldly and unreal. Jing Yuan has never cared for much realism with his toys, though this one is human enough.

He makes a mental note to get Qingzu a bouquet for purchasing it for him on such short notice.

The head of it feels cool against his cunt. It’s a welcome sensation as it feels like his body is burning up from the insight. He lays over you, wrestling you a bit to be flat below him, with his thighs caging yours. He growls when you try to grab the toy from his hands to assist.

It makes you pause.

Your soft palms cup his cheeks, “Do you not want me to help?”

“The angle—” The angle won’t be right, Jing Yuan wants to say. His words feel lost in his throat as he slowly begins to push inside himself. He gasps and tries to duck into your neck, to like and suck at the gland there and feast on your scent.

“I can try—?”

“ No.”

Jing Yuan wants you just like this. In his nest, smelling like him and arousal and safety. The toy that’s sliding into his cunt is mostly irrelevant, as is the twitch of his cock as he slowly and methodically fucks the toy into himself. Little by little, he bullies it into his underused hole. The stretch is— is not bad. It would be far more uncomfortable if he weren’t in heat and pouring slick.

You ask more quietly, just as he bottoms out. You still haven’t let go of his face. “Are you sure?”

He is, but he can’t find the words to say so. Instead, he nods and tucks himself closer to you. You pet down the back of his neck and push on his scent glands. They ache with his heat. The pressure and direct contact makes him grunt as he adjusts to the toy in his cunt.

You hush him and nuzzle in his cheeks, “You’re doing so well. So good, Jing Yuan.”

He keens and pulls back the toy cock, only to shove it back into himself a moment later. Praise from you is a drug. He’s sure. You’re unbearably earnest and sweet and you are too kind to him. You whisper more of them into his ear as he fucks himself, deep and slow. He feels the sentiment of your words more than he hears it. Deeply affectionate and caring. If he were more lucid, he would be disarmed by you, speechless even. Perhaps he is already speechless, but he blames that on the heat haze and how the head of the toy is pressing deliciously into his sweet spot.

He narrows his focus on the spot and fucks him on the toy in earnest.

Jing Yuan will have an arm ache after this. Many aches, actually. It will be worth it. It is easiest to bear with you underneath him, tilting your hips up to grind against his dripping cock. It’s not the friction his body craves, but it’s welcome. It sends sparks down his spine and he whines into your neck.

You nip at his neck, high on the side of it, and Jing Yuan lets loose a cracking moan. It’s almost embarrassingly loud. Were Jing Yuan able to feel shame in that moment, he’d be red-faced.

Instead, he tips his head to the side, allows you room to mouth and suck marks as you desire. You catch on quickly, and hum, licking broad stripes and soaking him in your scent. Your marks. It surrounds him.

He fucks himself on the toy faster.

(It’s nothing like the heats he had while he was mated with Yingxing and Dan Feng. Not at all. They were shorter, back then. Perhaps it was his youth or the relentless pace and haze Yingxing kept that burned Jing Yuan out faster. Or, maybe it was that Dan Feng always made sure he was wrung out, despite not craving him in the same way Yingxing had. It was carnal then. It still is now, but it does not feel as manic. You are gentle without qualifiers, sweet without expectation, and happy to let him rut into you and back onto the toy as much as he pleases. Your kisses are bruising, but not bloody like Dan Feng’s. There’s a different pace, a different scent, and a different intent.)

Jing Yuan once enjoyed the desperation that Yingxing put into everything he did (including him). He had fallen in love with Dan Feng for his poetics and distanced care. You have neither of these. It is unfair, ultimately, for Jing Yuan to draw comparison.

Perhaps, he’ll feel guilty over it later. For now, his arm gives out and he falls into your chest with a keen. His back arches, hips raised, and the new angle is so, so good. You run your hands through his hair, and move your thigh, just right, so he can grind on it to his heart’s content.

He’s close; he can feel it in his belly.

What sends him over the edge is the feel of your lips against his hairline, the way your lips have curled into a soft, easy smile as you kiss him there. You stroke down his back, like how a good lover would.

You are a good lover.

He shudders as orgasm grips him. The sound that rips from his throat is shattering, as overwhelming as the heat that boils over in his guts. And you are such a good lover, that the little remote must have already been in your hand, as in the moment he comes, the knotted base of the toy begins to swell. Jing Yuan can’t— can’t chase his orgasm. He can feel his eyes growing wet while his body feels out of his control (he hates that, he really does). You, however, are a good lover and reach and stretch, matching his angle with the toy and fuck him through it yourself. The knot catches once inside him, then a second time, and with the third, it locks him and the toy together.

And with what can only be called a sob, Jing Yuan fully collapses on top of you.

He can’t keep himself upright, he realizes. His thighs tremble terribly, and his arms are the same. His eyes are filled with tears he didn’t expect and doesn’t know what to do with. It feels vulnerable. Too vulnerable, in a way that Jing Yuan has avoided for centuries now.

Before the feeling can consume him, you’re coaxing him onto his side and wrapping yourself around him. A sheet gets pulled atop the both of you and you’re nosing into him wherever you can.

“It’s okay,” You tell him. “You’re okay, I promise.”

A muffled sound that comes from your throat, followed by the low roll of a purr.

Oh.

All for him?

He shoves himself closer, skin to skin in all the spots he can reach. His tongue laves at your scent glands as his cunt flutters around the toy. He claws at your back before locking his arms around your waist.

You’re purring for him.

He can help but do the same, even chirping without meaning to as he nips at your jaw. Jing Yuan trails his lips to your cheek, then the corner of your mouth. You curl and laugh at his touch, and Jing Yuan steals the lovely sounds from you with a kiss. It’s something deep and consuming, and Jing Yuan needs more of the taste of you. You squirm into it, gasping and opening your mouth for him to explore as he needs. Your openness continues to undo him.

It’s all the reassurance he needs. Any poisonous feelings fall away, and Jing Yuan, for the first time in far too long, finds himself content and knotted.

...

Jing Yuan has never had a heat quite like this one.

It is certainly more mild, and certainly a bit shorter than what he was expecting. The worst of it lasts five days, followed by three days that he can’t quite call post-heat. Though the desire in him is less feverish, he still craves your presence so much it hurts, and the idea of you being out of his nests sends him into a toothy panic those days. The ‘no teeth’ rule is modified to allow some biting, as long as it doesn’t involve any scent glands.

(However, Jing Yuan still would not mind putting a claiming bite on you. He makes a note to bring this up when he’s feeling some clarity of mind and can... attempt to court you properly.)

The most intense days of his heat are spent with a knotting toy in his cunt, rutting against your soft thighs, or with your hands wrapped around his cock. He eats you out whenever he can muster up the energy to shimmy between your legs and luxuriate there. Any down time is spent dozing in the warm sun rays that his bedroom is perfectly placed to receive.

The latter days of his heat, Jing Yuan is more lucid.

It’s in those days he truly enjoys his heat. Though the burn of arousal still lays within him, it is easily tempered with your presence in his nest and your many shared bite marks. Your time awake is spent lazily kissing, speaking in low voices, and sharing laughter and cups of cool water, one after the other.

Jing Yuan, partially, did not think he would ever get to experience this type of connection again. with you or any other partner. The intimacy of the act is so deeply vulnerable, and after the spiritual loss of both Yingxing and Dan Feng, he never endeavored, or wanted to endeavor to, open himself up in that way again.

He, perhaps, convinced himself he did not need to.

(Nevermind the many nights, both heat-addled and otherwise, Jing Yuan spent craving nesting companions. Nevermind how many nights Jing Yuan lay alone, accepting his losses and mourning mates he’d never hold again. Jing Yuan could never choose to be selfish.)

It helped when Yanqing was little. He was just a small pup with golden eyes like Jing Yuan’s and a fiery spirit, even when he was so small. Jing Yuan had never considered himself maternal, however having a pup to take care of brought out latent instincts he’d spent the better part of his life pretending didn’t exist. As Yanqing aged, however, he was less receptive to such affections and connections. After presenting (far too young, poor thing, traumatized body), Yanqing wouldn’t share a nest with Jing Yuan unless he fell ill. Even then, Jing Yuan would have to coax him into it.

It quenched something in him. It allowed Jing Yuan to let himself care in the direct way he craved. With his position as General, how often does get to show care with his hands, and not with his words or stratagems? Not with sacrifice or poetry, but with his body and scent.

Jing Yuan realizes now that there truly have been so many urges and behaviors Jing Yuan simply did not indulge.

And as his heat breaks, Jing Yuan thinks he’d like to start indulging them more.

...

On the last day of his heat, you stir around nightfall. You are exhausted, Jing Yuan knows this. Though his heat has provided him with a surprising amount of stamina, you are in standard condition, and looked wrung out halfway through day two of his heat. Jing Yuan’s grateful you’re as fond of midday naps as he is.

You are cradled against his chest, your cheek pillows on his breast. He’d thrown a robe on while washing up, and hadn’t elected to remove it. The silky texture of it feels lovely against his flushed, sensitive skin. You seem to enjoy it too as you grip at the fabric of it in your sleep, nuzzling into his chest.

Your brow scrunches and a little sound pops from your throat as you try to burrow closer. It’s a hopelessly sweet gesture, desperate and honest. Jing Yuan can’t help but chuckle and smooth a hand over your mussed-up hair.

When your eyes crack open, your voice is raw, “‘S morning?”

“No, nighttime.” Jing Yuan nods to the darkened window.

You raise yourself up just enough to look, hum, and then fall back on top of him, “Feels like it should be morning.”

“We haven’t been keeping a very consistent sleeping schedule,” Jing Yuan rarely does, but he imagines that you and your position with the Sky Faring Commission have quite a regular routine. “You can keep resting.”

“I don’t wanna’,” Though, you shove your nuzzle into his chest, smearing him with your scent. “I wanna stay up and talk to you.”

“Me?” Jing Yuan smiles, smitten. He pinches your cheek. “About anything in particular?”

“... Not yet.” Your eyes slip closed. “Maybe later. I want to say things to you, but I feel... mushy. Inside my head.”

“Pheromone drunk?”

“‘Something like that,” Your words slur. “Not that I’m complaining. You smell so good, Jing Yuan.”

When you say his name, he shudders. The hand that’s been playing with your hand slips to your nape and squeezes. You keen at the contact and tangle your legs with his. It’s an impossible amount of closeness you are seeking, but Jing Yuan must attempt to give it to you. It’s abashed and honest, and in the stillness of night, how can he not indulge?

“Do I?”

“ Mhm.”

“Like what?”

You’re falling asleep, clearly. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open even as you inhale deeply. Your lips part and you take his scent into your mouth.

“Earth after rain,” You hum. “Sunbeam and linen. Warm milk.”

He squeezes you.

(A long time ago, Yingxing had complained about his scent. ‘Complained’. His face had been flushed crimson, telling him how distracting his sweet, rich scent had been. Dan Feng thought it was the funniest thing, considering Yingxing so clearly enjoyed Jing Yuan’s scent, as did he. They’d described it similarly— “petrichor” Dan Feng had told Jing Yuan while sweeping his mane back from his neck— “the smell of sunshine” Yingxing had told Jing Yuan after berating him.)

“How complementary.” Jing Yuan purrs and pulls you closer by the waist. Your face is smushed against his chest, but you don’t complain. You keep your lips parted to enjoy his scent. “And you like it?”

“So much,” You assure him, droopy-eyed.

So good for him, so so good.

Jing Yuan presses the tip of his finger to your lips, a bit chapped from the dehydration and exertion. You chirp with it, a bit more awake.

He hushes you, and pushes his finger further into his mouth, “Sleep now, dear. You need to rest.”

“‘So do ya’,” You try to say, though it comes out garbled as Jing Yuan lays his finger on the flat of your tongue. Your eyes widen and go a bit crossed to look at his wrist, then up to his eyes.

Jing Yuan isn’t entirely sure what compels him, but something does. Gently, he leans down and presses his lips to your forehead. He idles there, and pets down your side.

“I’ll sleep soon, I’m sure you know.” Jing Yuan says softly. “Will you indulge me?”

(He asks to be selfish.)

Without hesitating, you nod.

(And you let him.)

Jing Yuan doesn’t explain himself. He doesn’t need to. Maybe it’s the specific sweetness his scent must take on, or the night air in contrast to the warmth and comfort of his nest, but you understand what he wants and give it to him without so much as a word.

Your lips open a little wider and Jing Yuan slips another finger inside. You stroke your tongue on his fingers as you close your mouth, eyes going dazed and heavy-lidded. You take a deep breath, inhaling his scent into the deepest parts of your lungs. You suck on his fingers gently.

Jing Yuan watches with still, even breaths.

Later, he will analyze why this scratches so many itches in his brain. Why his post-heat mind feels more calm and sated than he thought possible. Why he wants more of this, always, even if he doesn’t have a name for it yet.

For now, he is so, so content to have you this way. You are lulled back to sleep so easily, sucking on his fingers with your cheek still smushed against his breast. Even as you sleep, Jing Yuan doesn’t remove his fingers. He explores the inside of your mouth with gentle, easy pressure, so as to not wake you. It’s exploratory, more than anything.

He plays with you in such a way until he’s too drowsy to continue. Satisfied and warm, he drags you under the covers and holds you close, scenting you one last time before letting himself fall into a contented, new kind of sleep.

...

You depart suddenly, while Jing Yuan is in the kitchen deftly chopping fruits and assembling little parfaits.

You had been in his bathroom, freshening up with whatever products you’d like from his stash. Jing Yuan had left you your own robe for when you exited, quietly beaming that he’d have yet another article with your scent on it.

However, when you do leave the bathroom, you are fully dressed in the day clothes you arrived in a week ago. You stand at the doorway of his kitchen, pausing, wide-eyed.

“I n-need to go,” Your voice wavers, like you’re going to be ill.

Something squeezes in between Jing Yuan’s ribs. There are thin, transparent patches on your neck on either side. Scent blockers. Your eyes look watery. Jing Yuan immediately sets down the knife he had been working with.

“Is everything alright?” asks Jing Yuan. He knows something is wrong, even if he can’t smell you, you’re clearly distressed and disheveled.

“It’s— it’s nothing. It’ll be okay.” You tell him. Your voice trembles and you shake your head.

“Are you sure? I can help.”

“It’s— it’s really nothing. I need to leave. I-I’m really sorry.”

You look from him to the foyer that leads to his front door and back again. There’s a desperate look in your eye that Jing Yuan has never seen with such an intensity before. It makes his heart ache and his hands feel clammy. He sighs.

(And a quiet, ever-present voice in his mind says, “they all leave, eventually.”)

“Alright.” Jing Yuan gives you a smile, the best he can muster. He knows it must be sadder than intended, as your expression falls and you look like you’ve been punched.

“I’m so s-sorry.”

“It’s alright,” It isn’t. Not fully. “Handle whatever it is that you must. I’m only a call away. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to contact me.”

“Okay.” You take a shaking breath and shudder out the exhale. You’re trying not to cry and it takes everything in Jing Yuan’s being not to rush to you and attempt to mend whatever is causing you distress but—

(He can’t. He can’t do that. You have asked him to leave you be and Jing Yuan has spent his entire life honing his ability not to chase, even when he so, so badly wishes to.)

You give him one final, fleeting look, “Thank you. I— I’ll see you at our next lunch, okay? I’m sorry.”

It looks like there’s more you want to say, but you’re already out the door before you can. Jing Yuan hears it open and shut with a soft thud that vibrates throughout his home. It leaves Jing Yuan standing alone in his kitchen, frozen, while the robe he wears slips down his shoulders. He bears your marks, and reeks of your scent. His nest grows colder each minute. And though his heat has ended, the yearning for you has not.

If anything, the feeling is far stronger than it was before.

He latches onto the fact you will have your lunches. That— he will find some clarity then. That he can inspect you for damage during the next sunshine-filled meal you share, and prod to see if the last week and half did not carry the same type of... meaning for you, as it did Jing Yuan. He will need to make sure you’re well. He’ll fret until then, he knows this.

(A more dormant, possessive part of him wishes he snatched you back from his foyer and threw you back into his nest. If something was wrong, he could. If something needed fixing, he could help. If it were anything official for your work, Jing Yuan would pull any and all strings to get you out of the obligation. If you were hurt, Jing Yuan would do anything to see you better.)

Instead, Jing Yuan idles in his kitchen, feeling struck and helpless. Something in him aches, deep and low, and Jing Yuan lays a hand over his chest and squeezes it into a fist. He had thought he had become used to this type of loneliness, but it aches all the same.

#lore writes #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr x reader #cw omegaverse #ITS HERE... ENJOY!!#part one hehe <33

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kamaluhkhan · 1 day

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COMPLICATED

LUST — part iv of we'll write sins like tragedies

pairing: luke castellan x nemesis! reader (afab) word count: 8.9k summary: the lives of demigods are never simple. why would your relationship with luke be any different? or: four moments of tension + one moment of release. featuring a trip to montauk with percy, grover, and annabeth warnings: a decent amount of reader backstory (mention of dad having cancer); multiple POVs (percy, grover, annabeth, luke, reader - obv nothing suggestive/smutty until luke and reader POV); luke + reader get into arguments and are v stressed so their relationship is a bit strained; reader has tattoos; reader is on birth control; rough smut (protected + unprotected p in v, oral f+m receiving, biting, scratching, slight choking, slight breeding kink, etc...); also slight dark + possessive luke! (18 + MDNI); major angst — we all know how this story ends ;( author's note: this was meant to be a blurb but...here we are! this is basically another chapter of my spill ur guts series lol. i've been gone for much longer than i planned to, but hope u enjoy possibly the angstiest, smuttiest thing i've written so far ♡

♪ "complicated" by avril lavigne

in the span of a few minutes, percy went from pure joy — being greeted with cheers from all the campers was great, sure, but truthfully the hug from annabeth alone sent him to elysium — to feeling like his heart dropped all the way to tartarus.

which is definitely not a place percy ever wants to visit again. he was happy to be back at camp with his friends, knowing that his quest was completed, his mom was safe in new york, and a war between the gods was prevented.

it should be over….but there’s something in the back of percy’s mind that’s telling him it isn’t. seeing a certain someone in the crowd earlier didn’t do anything to ease that feeling.

"can someone explain to me why clarisse is still here?"

you raise an eyebrow at luke, and he shrugs in response. it seems neither of you had decided who should break the news, and neither of you seem particularly excited to do so, even after dragging percy, along with annabeth and grover, into the empty hermes cabin for some privacy.

after another beat of silence, you take the lead.

“look, kid, i know you and clarisse got off to a rocky start —”

“she tried to drown me, and then basically kill me during capture the flag,” percy points out. he hears an ocean roaring at the memory, but that could have also been from his duel with clarisse’s dad, the god of war, more recently.

a duel that percy had won, for the record. luke trained him well.

“and i’m not defending that,” you clarify. “i’m just saying that we’ve known clarisse for much longer. she’s not perfect, maybe a bit aggressive sometimes — trust me, she and i have had some major disagreements, too — but i can’t see her doing something like this.”

“why would anyone at camp want to steal the bolt? to join kronos’ army against the gods?” annabeth wonders. to herself or to the group, percy isn’t sure, but he has a feeling that the wheels in her mind are turning.

“revenge, maybe?” grover suggests.

almost instinctively, grover glances at you, and so does annabeth. percy wants to kick himself for doing the same.

with you being the daughter of nemesis, he imagines that it's not the first time you’d been blamed for something just because of who you are. it’s a feeling percy knows all too well. and, for better or for worse, like percy, it seems like you’re not one to accept these things without a fight.

you straighten your shoulders, ready to snap back, but before you can, luke declares:

“it’s not her.”

he then knocks the toe of his shoe against your combat boot. you smile and return the gesture. the tension eases out of the room.

for a second, percy wonders if he’ll ever have someone like that: someone to defend like it’s second nature, to share that sort of secret language with, to smile at him like nothing else in the world matters.

according to annabeth, the two of you weren’t technically dating — but percy is pretty sure that aphrodite is swooning over you.

“see, grove? if camp half-blood’s golden boy can vouch for me, then i’m in the clear.” your tone is playful enough — no hard feelings — but the tips of grover’s ears still turn red. “i didn’t steal the bolt. sure, the gods and titans can tear each other apart for all i care — "

annabeth stiffens at your bold statement, and grover starts to nervously chew on an empty diet coke can he had stashed in his pocket. luke watches you with the hint of a smile on his face, and percy —

well, percy can’t help but admire you even more.

"— but it's everything else that i have an issue with.”

“everything else?”

you look at percy like the answer is obvious.

“when have the gods ever fought their battles without us as collateral damage? doesn’t seem worth it to me, to betray my friends.”

that itch in the back of percy’s brain gets harder to ignore.

“the oracle warned me, betrayed by a friend.”

“prophecies don't always come true,” annabeth reminds him. “at least not in the way we expect them to.”

“annie is right,” luke adds, nodding at his sister. “mine didn't. the oracle said i would die a hero.”

you turn to luke then, your eyebrows furrowed.

“what? you never told me that.”

“it doesn’t matter,” luke insists. “my point is that i came back from my joke of a quest, alive and a definitely not a hero —”

“fuck what the oracle said.” you roll your eyes. “dead or alive, you are a hero, tiger.”

you move to place a hand on luke’s arm. to percy’s surprise, though, luke brushes you off.

“i’m not a hero. at least not the one my dad expects me to be.”

again, percy is taken aback by how luke snapped, at you of all people. you huff, and percy can tell that you’re a bit agitated now, too.

“okay, but that doesn’t mean —”

“my point is.” luke turns to percy, effectively blocking your presence for the time being. “you completed your quest, fought a god, and stalled kronos’ plan. you’ve been through it — all three of you have — but now you’re back. let’s just enjoy the rest of our summer, yeah? whatever happened out there, whatever the oracle said, it’s in the past.”

percy wants to believe luke, he really does. one glance in your direction, and it seems like you do, too.

deep down, though, percy isn’t entirely convinced. there’s that dread in the pit of his stomach, that voice in the back of his head. something in him, warning that this isn’t quite over. the worst has yet to come.

he wonders if — or maybe just hopes — you feel the same.

—

ii.

if you of all people can’t get luke’s attention, grover is pretty sure that the world is ending.

“luke,” you try again, foregoing your usual nickname for him. your arms are crossed and you tap your foot against the floor. it makes grover slightly anxious, feeling your frustration threaten to boil over.

“i’m busy,” he grunts, and flips over another page, scribbling something on the other side.

“grover wanted to talk to us about something.”

“i-it’s fine, we don’t have to —”

“no, it’s a good idea, grove,” you insist. you smile at grover then. he remembers that, despite the deadly glares you can deliver, like the one you were just giving luke, you have a gentle core. you just guard it behind sharp edges.

“tell him that i’ll talk to him later.”

“or, you could tell him yourself,” you huff. grover waves awkwardly, even though luke doesn’t realize what’s happening. “he’s right next to me.”

luke looks up briefly, and then back down at the pages in front of him just as quick. he looks tired, exhausted even.

“sorry, man. didn’t see you there. i gotta finish these reports.”

“no worries. i tend to be quiet on my hooves.”

in the moment of silence that follows, and with luke still not giving you the attention you’re asking for, you walk over to the desk where luke is working. what you see seems to make you even more annoyed than before.

“these reports are for september. why in the name of nemesis are you filling them out now?”

“i just want to be prepared.”

“prepared for what?”

luke hesitates. “just….the future.”

“oh!” you laugh, sharp and sarcastic. “i didn’t realize that the future required you to neglect your friends.”

“i’m trying to help my friends,” luke huffs. he taps his pen impatiently against the desk. “if you didn’t keep interrupting me —”

“oh my fucking gods — ”

grover watches the two of you argue. it had been easier to step in whenever something bubbled up between annabeth and percy, because they were just kids. but you and luke — you were adults.

when grover met luke for the first time, he was already taking on way too much responsibility for a kid — keeping thalia and annabeth alive, protecting them from monsters, taking care of them. in a lot of ways, those responsibilities didn’t go away: as a senior counselor and resident older brother, a hero for the older campers to admire and the younger kids to aspire to be. camp half-blood’s golden boy, as you liked to call him.

and, like you, luke is good at hiding. for him, its heavy burdens behind easy-going smiles.

lately, though, those smiles seem to be strained, his shoulders slowly bending under the weight of it all. the other day, grover asked you if everything was okay with luke. you had looked back at him sadly, shrugged, and said you didn’t know.

that’s when grover decided that everyone just needs a break — an escape. he had been sensing that things weren’t quite right with the others, too. percy seems a little on edge, and so does annabeth.

then, of course, there was you and luke. finding out that the two of you had actually started dating was huge news for someone like grover who had painstakingly watched the two of you dance around your feelings for years. so, it was more than a little weird that you’d barely been speaking this past week. the rare occasion you did was tense at best, and explosive at worst.

like now, when you pick up one of the reports luke was working on, and threaten to burn it. luke dares you to do so, even suggests, albeit sarcastically, that you use it as your next offering to the gods.

“oh, a handwritten document from luke castellan himself? they would love that,” you snort. “admit it: you’re doing all of mr. d’s work just to suck up to some gods who don’t even give a shit about any of this. you’re practically olympus’ lapdog.”

luke, blushing a furious shade of red, gets up and yanks the paper from your hand.

“at least my parent is important enough to actually have a seat on olympus and an actual cabin for his kids to stay in.”

you look like you could just about throw luke into a fire, and vice versa. grover had never seen the two of you like this, but it made sense: each of you knowing just where, and how, to hurt the other.

and, he thinks it’s about time to step in before the damage is irreversible. so, grover starts slowly clapping. the clapping gets faster, and he manages to get through the first few lines of the consensus song before you stop him.

“alright, alright,” you sigh. you push past luke, steal his chair, and put your feet up on the desk. luke scowls at you, but you put your hands up in surrender and jut your chin out towards grover. “just listen to what grover has to say and then we’ll let you get back to your precious reports.”

grover tells luke his idea. luke actually agrees, and grover can’t help but feel a little bit of a victory.

he’s a protector, after all. it’s his job to make sure you’re all alive and happy and thriving. and not burnt to a crisp over some petty argument.

—

iii.

annabeth had missed home when she was away on their quest, but being back and seeing everyone being taught to worship the gods without question, to believe that the only things that matter are power and glory….well, after everything that happened, after percy, annabeth can’t just go back to doing the same. at least not entirely.

all this to say, she was totally on board with grover’s idea: the five of you, renting a cabin in montauk to get away from camp for a bit.

unfortunately, the trip starts off less than ideally. you and luke bicker the entire way here — and not the playful jabs you usually throw at each other.

annabeth remembers the first time she saw you together. it was during breakfast, their first morning at camp half-blood. annabeth had spent the night trying not to cry over thalia, and already missing luke even though he was only a few cabins away. she was still a kid, surrounded by strangers, told that she was safe now, but didn’t quite believe it yet. one look to luke at the hermes table, and annabeth could tell he felt the same way, too — not quite settled in this new place that was supposed to be home, and with these people who were supposed to be family.

she watched as the hermes table went to burn offerings to the gods. when they sat down again, luke looked even more unsettled than before.

but then, you leaned in and whispered something in luke’s ear, and he actually laughed, just a bit, which was a nice change of pace. luke was always the one making annabeth and thalia laugh when they were running from monsters, always the one trying to keep everything together with a smile or a joke.

as she devoured her breakfast, annabeth couldn’t help but keep glancing at the two of you. she heard warnings from her half-siblings, about your mother being the goddess of revenge, and you living up to that name.

luke either didn't know, or didn't care about whatever reputation you had. sitting there, next to you, annabeth didn’t think she’d ever seen luke so, genuinely happy, so at ease.

all these years later, neither you nor luke seemed particularly happy. you’re obviously avoiding each other, and annabeth doesn’t understand why.

you and luke are a new puzzle that she can’t wait to solve.

annabeth had finished constructing the most elaborate sandcastle in history, just for percy to accidentally splash it when he was trying to surf a wave; so she decides that playtime is over. it’s time to figure out what exactly is going on between you and luke.

luke is in the cabin doing gods know what. you're on the deck painting your nails, so annabeth decides to start gathering information from you, first.

“hey." you finish painting your pinky a dark purple, and set the bottle down next to you. "having fun?”

annabeth nods once and sits next to you. she asks if you could paint her nails, and you pull out a bottle of silver polish you said you thought she might like.

as you work, careful with each stroke of polish, annabeth surveys the tattoos on your skin. you’re wearing a bikini top, so there are some that she’s seeing for the first time. there's one of a knife on your sternum, and annabeth distinctly remembers seeing a similar one peeking from underneath the collar of luke’s shirt. she wonders when you got it, if you had to travel to a tattoo parlour in the city, how many other adventures you'd gone on without having to consult the oracle beforehand.

maybe that’s a good place to start.

“have you ever thought about leaving camp? like, long term?"

"sometimes," you admit. "it would be nice to have some normal early-twenties experiences."

"would you go to school?"

you smile as you keep painting annabeth’s nails. “maybe. i might have seen legally blonde too many times, but i think about law school sometimes.”

“what about luke?”

your smile fades at the question. “i...i don’t know." your once precise nail-painting falters, and you mumble a curse when a drop of silver lands on annabeth's skin. you swipe it away before continuing. "luke's one of those people i can't really see away from camp half-blood for too long; pretty sure it would burn down without him. there's a reason he feels responsible for everyone there...in a way i respect, obviously, but, it's not the same for me. nobody needs me."

"luke needs you."

you sigh, and annabeth wonders if you even realize how you shake your head slightly. she thinks you're about to disagree with her, but instead you ask:

“what's this about, annie? are you thinking about your dad’s offer?”

and annabeth’s completely thrown off her line of inquiry.

“how did you —”

“perce told me that you’ve been talking about staying with him for the year,” you explain. you gesture at annabeth to give you her other hand, and she complies. the silver polish on the hand you just finished glitters in the sun.

“well, nothing’s confirmed.”

you look up at annabeth, one eyebrow raised. “it's okay, you know — if you just wanna….be a kid for a bit.”

annabeth is silent, prompting you to ask another question.

"what's holding you back?"

“well….at first, i thought it would be a definite no,” annabeth admits. “obviously, it didn’t work out last time. i don’t know if i want to risk it again — if i can trust him, you know? how do i know he actually cares — that he’ll be there for me when i need him?”

“you don’t.” you pause for a second. “but i’m gonna tell you a story that i think might help.”

you're done painting her nails, so you put everything away. you sit cross-legged next to annabeth, looking out at the ocean.

“my dad never wanted me to go to camp. he wanted to raise me in the city, just like he’d grown up. he’d take me to rock concerts all the time. i was so young, he’d make me wear earmuffs and carry me on his shoulders so that i could still see the band.” you smile softly at the memory. “and then….my dad got sick, he couldn’t take care of me, and monsters started to show up, so he brought me to camp for safe keeping."

"you've told me all this," annabeth remarks.

you start fiddling with your camp necklace. annabeth isn't used to seeing you so unsure, so nervous; it throws her off even more.

"what i haven't told you is that even when my dad got better, he….he didn’t give me a choice of where to stay.”

"oh," is all annabeth can say.

“yeah, oh," you scoff, but there’s not really any malice behind it. you seem…sad. defeated, almost. your fingers move to play with the hem of your shorts, which causes the fresh nail polish to smudge. you don’t seem too concerned about that at the moment, though. "i told everyone that i chose to stay. the truth is that i stayed because my dad didn't want me anymore. he said that the universe gave him a second chance, so he wanted to live his life without having to worry about monster attacks or taking care of his teenage daughter."

annabeth wonders if luke knows the truth about this; though, considering how difficult it seems for you to admit, she doubts it.

before, annabeth had a theory that you decided to stay at camp because of luke.

luke was away when you got the news that your dad was in remission. annabeth remembers how happy you were, how excited you were to be back in the city and living with your dad again. you started packing right away.

when luke came back from his failed quest, you had just gone into the city the day before, having promised to visit in the summer and stay in touch. someone – chris maybe, or beckendorf — must have called you, told you what happened, because you came back to camp right away, your bag still fully packed. you never left again.

"that sucks."

“yeah.” you let out a hollow, breathy laugh. “and, i was angry at first. of course i was. but now, i don’t know. i think that maybe my dad does care about me. like, he still sends me mixtapes with old punk rock songs he thinks i’d like. he actually calls me on my birthday, and we have a 3 minute conversation about nothing important."

"right…" annabeth furrows her brows. this conversation had definitely not gone as planned. "no offense, but what's —"

"i'm getting to the point," you tell her, bumping your shoulder against hers. "i realized that sometimes people can only love us in a way that works for them — and it sucks. it really, really sucks. but then sometimes…. sometimes people do actually try. and, i don’t know, it seems like maybe your dad is willing to try.”

“so you think i should take him up on his offer.”

the sun starts to set. you get up, brush sand off your legs.

“i think it's time for a swim. i also think that you’re smart enough to know what’s best for you, and who deserves a second chance. just know that whatever you decide — we’ll be there for you.”

you leave without another word, but with the return of your usual confident smile, off to the shore to take advantage of the last bits of daylight.

"she's right, annabeth." luke appears a few seconds later, takes the spot next to annabeth you had just occupied.

annabeth hums.

"how much of that did you hear?"

luke doesn't answer. he just stares at your form, disappearing in the distance and diving under the waves.

—

iv.

you clear your throat and luke turns around to see you freshly showered. you’re wearing a pair of shorts and one of the oversized band tees the two of you constantly exchange. you've lost track of whose is whose at this point.

luke resists the urge to shamelessly check out your legs, and turns his back towards you once again. that bikini top you were wearing earlier was bad enough. thankfully, the heat from the stove was enough to cover up his blushing cheeks at the sight of your exposed skin.

“i thought we were ordering pizza,” you say, moving to peer over his shoulder, chin hovering just above. luke had the sense that you were avoiding physical contact, and as much as it drives him crazy, he knows that he’s the one who’d dug his own grave. pushing you away and whatnot.

“didn’t know that you knew how to cook.”

“not much,” luke shrugs. he keeps stirring the vegetables — broccoli and carrots and baby corn. he’ll add the red peppers once the broccoli turns green so that they don’t become too soft. he’s pretty sure that’s how he remembers it going.

“i could have helped you.” you reach over and hand him the peppers right on time. you shift to lean your back against the counter next to the stove, arms crossed over your chest and eyes following luke.

luke throws in the chicken he cooked earlier, and then the sauce he had also mixed. he waits a few seconds, lets the sound of everything sizzling fill the space between you.

“it’s an easy recipe.” luke turns off the stove to punctuate his point.

and it had to be. something quick he’d make with his mom after she had one of her episodes, before waking up and realizing that she had a son to feed. the sounds, the colors, the smells — it all, overwhelmingly, reminds him of a childhood he once had. one that was never as simple as the food he just made.

none of the bitterness in his throat is caused by his mom, of course. just his father who calls himself a god, and left them both alone to fend for themselves.

you start getting out plates from the cupboards as you ask: “where are the kids?”

luke checks the pot on the stove to see if the rice is cooked. “told them to go rent something from the video store.”

“they went alone?”

“they’ve literally been to hell and back,” he replies and sits down at the table. “i think they can handle a blockbuster.”

“i don’t care if they get attacked by monsters,” you state, setting down the last plate in front of him. “i know they can handle themselves. they just better choose a good movie.”

luke doesn’t mean to snort, but he can’t help but remember all the arguments you’d gotten in with chris over your tastes in movies.

“don’t laugh, castellan. i’ve saved movie night on more than one occasion and i’ve never gotten so much as a thank you.” you roll your eyes, but luke notices the ghost of a smile.

it fades just as quickly as it appeared, and luke already misses the small moment of levity that’s passed.

“what’s been going on with you, tiger?”

you hold his gaze, and luke knows that you’re hoping for a real answer, for the truth he can’t give you.

“nothing,” he answers instinctively.

“don’t give me that,” you sigh and turn away from him, returning to your position against the counter.

“i said it’s nothing,” luke insists, a bit more assertively. “why can’t you just believe me?”

“because you’ve been distant, moody.” your tone is sharper now, too. “you’ve been avoiding me. you’ve barely been eating. the side of your bunk has been empty, which means you haven’t been sleeping, either. gods, i can’t even remember the last time you kissed me —”

“you’re really mad at me because we haven’t fucked?”

it’s a low blow, and he delivers it as if he hadn’t missed seeing you underneath him. or on top, or beside. luke isn’t picky.

“you’re impossible!” you groan, and cover your face with your hands. you take a deep breath before returning to glare at luke. “do….do you not want to be together, anymore? because if that’s what’s happening, i’ll survive. we can go back to being friends.” you clench your jaw to make up for the tremble behind your question. always a tough face, even in the face of potential heartbreak.

of course, luke knows you’ll be fine without him. he’s the one who might have difficulty surviving when you part ways.

“that’s not —” luke sighs and runs a hand through his hair, avoiding your gaze. “that’s not it.”

“then what is it?”

“noth—”

“i will send you to elysium if you tell me it’s nothing one more time, because i know it’s not!” you’re shouting now. “i might not know what it is, but i know you well enough to tell that something is bothering you. so i’m asking you, one more time, what is going on?”

the thing is, luke can’t tell you — about what he’s done, about who he’s aligned himself with. he can’t lie to you, either, at least not to save his life.

so, he’s basically stuck in whatever the greek mythology version of limbo is.

for now, he’s saved by percy, annabeth, and grover, who walk in with a stack of DVDs and armfuls of movie snacks.

dinner is fine, especially with the kids providing a good enough buffer. luke even catches you smiling and laughing along with them a few times. you approve of their choice in movies, starting with mulan. it’s one of luke’s favorites, too, but he can’t help but let his attention wander.

the two of you have known each other for a long time. luke has felt your anger. he’s felt your frustration. you’ve been on opposing sides of explosive arguments, of brutal sparring matches.

but, despite everything, luke’s never been hated by you. it’s unavoidable, given what he’s done and the path he’s on; it's just not something he's particularly eager to feel.

working for kronos….luke won't pretend he regrets it. something had to be done, to take back the poisonous world the gods created.

he did it for you, even if you won't understand.

he'd do anything for you.

so, for now, he’s willing to endure the daggers you stare at him from the other side of the couch.

—

in another life, you might have taken advantage of the queen bed and private room. both hard to come by at camp half-blood, if you’re not willing to risk zeus’ wrath for the latter.

gods, it feels like forever since you and luke snuck into cabin one because couldn’t keep your hands off each other, curses and lighting strikes be damned.

you almost wish lightning would strike — at least then the bed would be warm.

“i can feel you being mad at me,” luke whispers.

“sorry, thought you’d already be gone by now,” you respond, sarcasm dripping through your words. “off to see whoever else you’d rather sleep with.”

“so, you are mad because we haven’t fucked in a while.”

a stupid slip of the tongue. you can practically hear the smirk in his voice, and your entire body feels on fire for giving him any leverage on you. that was definitely not the warmth you were hoping for.

“whatever,” you mumble, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, your back still towards luke.

for the record, you’re mad because of whatever distance luke was forcing between you, or whatever wall he was putting up, for a reason you don’t understand. you’d always known luke well, but lately you haven’t been able to read him.

and, sure. maybe you are…. frustrated. the two of you hadn’t been intimate in a while, yes, and your fingers are nothing compared to luke’s, but more than that: you just miss actually feeling him close to you. in any sense.

you’re not sure how much time passes, and there’s nothing but silence. then, you hear his voice again, gentler than before, no cocky attitude laced through.

“you never told me about your dad.”

ugh. of course, luke had overheard your conversation with annabeth earlier. damn those sly hermes’ genes.

you stay silent to give off the illusion that you’d fallen asleep, but luke doesn't fall for it.

“we’ve shared a bunk for years, karma. i can tell when you’re not sleeping.”

you pause for a few more seconds, but you know that luke is persistent.

“it didn’t matter,” is all you offer before he asks again.

“it did,” luke insists. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“it’s not like we tell each other everything,” you scoff. “like, why didn’t you tell me about that prophecy? and why won’t you tell me whatever’s going on with you now?”

“that’s….that’s different.”

“not really. i bet that it’s all for the same reason.”

“which is?”

you debate telling luke the truth.

it was no surprise that you had a certain reputation around camp: cunning, hot-tempered, brash. you were fine being the angry girl whose mother wasn’t enough of a god to warrant a cabin, but enough of a threat to be wary of. you didn’t want to be the one who was also dropped by her father, unwanted and too much of a burden. so, you swallowed the reality of the situation; pretended that nothing broke your heart, and that nothing ever would.

“i didn’t want you to look at me differently,” you admit.

another pause, this time from the other side of the bed.

“if it makes you feel better, i was glad that you stayed.”

you can’t help it; you let out a sardonic laugh.

“that’s not much of a comfort, since you haven’t seemed very thrilled with me lately.”

“that’s not….” luke falters. “i just mean that i don't know who i’d be if you left.”

in spite of the situation, the ongoing tension between you, you find yourself smiling.

“always so dramatic,” you tease.

deep down, you know you’re not much better.

luke was part of the reason you might have stayed at camp, anyways. he was the reason why you didn’t fight harder to get back to your old life, and you always did like a good fight.

it was scary though, that one person had so much power over you and didn’t even know it. you tried to convince yourself that you stayed because luke had needed you, after his quest and everything. but, once you’d known how it felt to have luke in your life, you didn’t want to go back to a time you didn’t.

truthfully, it still scares you.

“i don’t like fighting with you,” you admit softly, swallowing a lump in your throat. “especially when i don’t even know why we’re fighting in the first place.”

you wonder if you’d just thought that instead of saying it out loud because luke doesn’t respond, until you hear the sheets behind you shuffle, and feel luke position himself behind you.

"i'm sorry that we're fighting. it's my fault."

he settles a tentative hand on your exposed hip, where your shirt had ridden up. luke starts to trace circles onto your skin with his thumb, the way he sometimes does when he's nervous or having a bad dream.

"i’ve just been so….in my head. i don't want you to worry about what's going on with me, okay?

"luke —"

"i have to sort it out on my own.”

"you don’t, though,” you insist. “if you just tell me what’s going on, instead of pushing me away.”

another pause. you can feel him breathing down your neck, and in turn you inhale the spicy citrus of his body wash. it’s all so excruciatingly familiar as you wait for him to say something, anything.

eventually, luke sighs, deeply, and confesses:

"it's just….we've known each other for so long, but this — us? so much of it is new. i don't want to fuck it up."

"well, congratulations," you quip. "you're one step closer to getting there."

you meant it as a joke, something to lighten the mood, but you feel luke stiffen at your words, his grip on your hip becoming almost painfully tight as if he's worried you'll slip away.

"i'm kidding, tiger." you weave your fingers through his to loosen his hold on you, and reassure him even more that you're not going anywhere, any time soon. "for better or for worse: you’re mine, and i'm yours. no matter how much either of us might fuck it up."

luke shuffles closer, and you melt into him even more.

"do you really mean that?"

his voice is soft, surprisingly timid. you crane your neck back to look at him; luke stares at you, his gaze heavy enough to take your breath away.

“of course.”

you're so close, and you hadn't been in so long. luke's leg is somehow lodged in between your thighs, and you bite back a whimper as he brushes against you. you feel him behind you, already half-hard, and you rub your ass against him slightly, causing a groan to vibrate through his body.

neither of you have to do much to crash your lips together.

you can sense how luke’s been unraveling, from the kiss alone. his lips are chapped, rough against yours and already bleeding from the pressure; his stubble scrapes against your cheek, and you’re dizzy with anticipation, imagining how it will leave a stinging sensation on other areas of your skin when luke has his way with you later.

for now, you focus on your mouth on his: teeth clacking together, your tongue laving over the cut on luke’s bottom lip and tasting copper. luke brings a hand up to your jaw, pushing you into his mouth even more.

it’s like the first time you kissed. all consuming. messy. urgent — like you've already run out of time.

eventually, you have to pull yourself away from his grasp, your neck straining at the uncomfortable angle. luke takes the opportunity to suck bruises onto your neck while he presses his thigh harder against your cunt. he slips his other hand further underneath your shirt, cupping your breast and pinching your nipple between his fingers. instinctively, you start rutting against him.

“f-fuck,” you groan, relishing in the muscles of his naked thigh underneath you, defined and strong.

luke chuckles, and you feel his breath warm against your skin.

“you missed me that much, hm?” he taunts, encouraging you to go faster, harder. “you’re gonna cum before i even have a chance to undress you. doesn’t seem fair to me.”

“who —” your breath catches when luke’s hand settles around your throat, pulling you impossibly closer to him. you feel the outline of his abs against your lower back, and his length, hard and waiting. it’s difficult to finish your thought, but you try your best. “who says i only have to cum once?”

“that sounds like a challenge,” luke decides. “what’s our record — three? think we can beat that tonight?”

you laugh, already out of breath. “i think we can do it.”

“good girl.”

your thighs clench at the nickname, and it's one down, a few more to go.

you maneuver luke so that he lays flat on the bed, your legs on either side of his hips. your hands fumble with the edge of his shirt, and he lets you remove it without any more hassle.

it's a little ironic, really, how much you and luke hate the gods — because looking at him underneath you, you're sure that something divine must have created him, and you have to thank them for it. sharp jaw, deep scar, flushed cheeks; curls slightly askew, and skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat; that cocky smile — you'd worship luke castellan over any of the olympians.

secretly, of course, you pretty much already do.

"like what you see?" luke smirks up at you, hands firmly on your ass.

you roll your eyes to save face. "come on, tiger, like you're not seconds away from tearing through your boxers."

luke clicks his tongue, locks his calf around yours to switch your positions. you grunt as your back hits the mattress, but you very much appreciate the force and weight of luke above you. he practically rips off your shirt, then starts to nip and suck down your body. he kisses the fabric still covering your cunt, and you can feel his chuckle vibrate through your body when he encounters the wetness there.

"i'm not the one who already ruined their underwear," luke teases as he finishes undressing you. he pauses at the sight of you, bottom half completely exposed. you're about to tell him to hurry the fuck up, but then luke spits onto your already soaked cunt and says:

“i need to clean you up, baby.” he gives you another cheeky grin, teeth glowing like the cheshire cat, before diving in.

luke is skilled at everything he does, so of course he's quick to unravel you once more, this time with a persistent combination of tongue and teeth, lapping at your cunt like it's his last meal.

as soon as you're done riding out your high, you yank luke by the leather cord around his neck to collide your lips with his again.

you reach down to return the favor, snake your hand underneath the fabric of his underwear, and you're deeply satisfied to find him already sticky with his release.

“you already finished,” you tease, stroking his v-line. "and ruined your underwear without me even touching you."

in the dim light of the moon, you can barely make out luke blushing. he hides his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder.

“guess we’re both desperate, huh.” luke’s teeth graze your skin, his curls tickling your neck. “i need to be inside you, now, so how about you get on your hands and knees for me? i’ll get the condom.”

sometimes, luke tries to be gentle — but not this time.

this time, he fucks you, hard and fast and deep.

you love it, even if you might not be able to walk properly tomorrow.

with so much power behind each thrust, and the overwhelming pleasure, your arms threaten to give out, but luke catches you before you fall. he wraps a hand around your neck, bringing you flush against his chest as he continues to plunge his length into you.

"listen to me," luke growls. he snakes a hand down to rub harsh circles on your clit. "the one thing the gods did right is make this perfect, tight little pussy of yours. you were fucking made for me, weren't you?"

all you can do is whimper, closing your eyes at his filthy, sinful words.

you aren't used to luke being so possessive, and certainly not in these past few weeks. it's making your head spin in the best way. you can feel your orgasm build in the pit of your abdomen.

"were you made for me?" luke asks again. he squeezes your neck slightly, and you gasp at the pressure. "answer me, or i'll stop."

you don’t think it’s likely he’ll stop; you’re sure he’s just as lost in the sound of your cunt squelching and the feeling of you sucking him in. but, he does slow down, only a little bit, and it's enough for you to start whining.

"y-yes, luke."

"are you mine?"

you don't answer fast enough. luke stills his hips completely and you almost burst into tears.

you moan, trying to move against him in vain. luke keeps a firm grip on you, making it hard to cause any sort of friction between your bodies.

"i'm yours," you promise.

luke plants a firm kiss behind your ear. “that’s my girl,” he whispers darkly.

satisfied, luke resumes his pace. he moves the hand around your neck to your chin, angling you accordingly so he can crash his lips onto yours.

it doesn't take long to feel the tension in your abdomen snap, wetness gushing out of you. exhausted, you collapse onto the mattress. luke slips out of you.

the next few seconds consist of you trying to bring yourself back down to reality after such a high.

luke turns you around just to face him as he hovers over you. he lodges his hand behind your ear and taps your cheek to get your attention. your eyes flutter open.

“did you just —”

the dampness between your legs, and on the sheets underneath you, is enough evidence: you just squirted.

"i….” you gulp, feeling yourself flush. “i’ve never done that before."

luke stares at your glistening cunt. you wonder if you should be embarrassed, but then he locks eyes with you. you've never seen them so dark, pupils almost fully blown, just a sliver of brown showing through.

"you’re so fucking hot."

your heart flutters.

“you’re not too bad yourself, tiger, or i wouldn’t be in this mess.” you wink at him, still trying to catch your breath. your eyes wander lower. you note luke in the current state he’s in; you realize that the scales are nowhere near balanced. “that’s three for me, and only one for you. let me taste you.”

he doesn't need to be told twice. you get on your knees once more, this time facing him as he kneels in front of you. luke rips off the condom, something to deal with later, and you take him in your mouth, cheeks hollowed and tears brimming your eyes feeling him fuck your throat. when he finishes, you swallow him whole, savoring every drop. he pulls you up for a kiss; you can still taste yourself on him, and it mixes with his new release, a combination that is more than a little intoxicating.

“fuck,” luke mumbles as he pulls away. he swipes his thumb over the corner of your mouth where some of his cum dribbled out. “i know that was intense, but would you be up for another round? "

"yeah," you reply without a second thought, reaching up to thread your fingers through his curls to ground yourself.

maybe you should thank artemis for the full moon tonight, giving you just the right amount of silver light to illuminate the sculpted curves and edges of luke's body. his skin is also littered with bruises and bites of your design, chaotic and beautiful. luke looks like a mess, just as you're sure you do.

you want more. you need more.

"we gotta go for four, remember? but...maybe we, uh…"

"....slow it down this time?" luke finishes your thought.

you nod, grateful that you and luke are on the same page. he scrambles off the bed to get another condom.

"shit. i don't have another one.”

"check my bag, too," you tell him. luke complies, but comes up short once more.

you’re sitting up against the headboard now, and luke returns to kneel in front of you.

"i can use my fingers,” luke offers. “or eat you out again —"

“or we could just do without a condom this time?” you suggest. luke raises an eyebrow at you, so you think through the possibilities out loud. "we both got tested before our first time together and haven’t been with anyone since.” you find yourself pausing for confirmation on that, and luke nods once. “i’m on birth control. obviously there’s still a risk that something happens, but maybe just this one time? you can just pull out whenever you’re ready….if you're okay with that."

luke waits, almost like he thinks you might change your mind, before finally answering:

“yeah, i’m okay with it if you are. i’ve always wanted to fuck you raw. i just didn’t think you’d be into it — and didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

you have to kiss him then. because how is it that the boy who just gave you three jaw clenching, toe curling, heart pounding orgasms be so sweet and considerate?

before you know it, you’re flat on your back, sheets slightly scratchy with stray sand. you don't care much because luke hovers above you; he presses his forehead to yours, curls falling in front of his face.

"just so you know," luke starts, just as you feel him enter you once more. "i must have been made for you, too. i'm just as much yours as you are mine."

you smirk, bite your lip to keep from moaning so that you can keep up the arrogance, just a bit longer.

"always so dramatic," you mock, as if your cunt isn’t squeezing around him at his sweet nothings.

luke grins at you sheepishly, his cheeks flushed.

"guess that means the gods did two things right," you joke, exhaling when you feel luke brush against that gummy spot deep within you. "maybe we've taken them for granted. maybe we should - " he hits that spot again, and your breath hitches. you dig your nails into his shoulders as he rocks back and forth. “maybe we should thank them.”

luke clicks his tongue, grips your hip firmly. "not a chance, sweetheart. the gods’ll get what they deserve."

you don’t care enough to ask luke what he means. you care more about him going faster. you’re about to tell him to do so, and to throw your legs over his shoulders, but he does it himself before you get the chance. you feel him slipping deeper within you, the force and passion behind each movement, his body molding to every curve and crevice of yours.

made for each other.

you’re so sensitive that your orgasm approaches quickly. as he helps you ride it out, his thrusts get sloppier, and you know he’s almost reached his peak, too.

“fuck,” he grunts. “i’m close.” luke starts to pull out, but then you lock your ankles behind his neck.

“don’t,” you command.

“a-are you sure?” he looks at you, wide-eyed.

“i just want to feel you this once.”

he nods and brings you in for one more bruising kiss. he finishes inside you, warm and wet.

luke leaves once he catches his breath, and comes back with a damp towel to clean you up. he knows your body, recognizes how sensitive you are, and presses kisses on the inside of your thighs, where the same lips had made bruises before.

even completely fucked out, your mind starts to unpack everything that’s wrong in your life. like how luke has always been a little too good at pretending, with everyone else at least, and something serious must be going on if he's trying to fool you, too.

this luke with you now, the one who gently wipes his cum from between your legs after fucking you so relentlessly, is your luke. it feels like your luke is slipping right through your fingers, and you’re wracking your brain trying to figure out how this can stop before losing him completely.

wait….did luke say something about getting revenge on the gods? your mind is still a bit cloudy, but you could’ve sworn —

“are you okay?”

his question puts pause on your spiraling. he’s done cleaning you up, throws the towel on the floor and settles back on the bed, next to you. you’re close enough for the softest whisper, your limbs intertwined beneath tangled sheets.

you watch luke carefully as he waits for an answer and surveys your body, tracing his fingers over the marks he'd left underneath your jaw, across your shoulders, over your collarbones and down your stomach.

"i didn't hurt you, did i?"

“i’m okay,” you assure him. luke’s hand stops to gently rest on your cheek. your other worries are pushed to the side for the time being: for now, it's just you and luke. “do you think we could pick up a plan b pill tomorrow though, just in case? i love you, but i’m not ready to have your babies.”

luke widens his eyes like a minotaur in headlights. he drops his hand.

“you’ve never said that before.”

“that i want to have your babies?” you jest, slightly amused at how panicked luke seems.

luke blushes and clears his throat. “well, that too. i meant the whole ‘i love you’ thing, though.”

your amusement evaporates. you swear your heart stops beating momentarily.

“oh, shit.…”

you’re not quite sure what to say; you’ve felt this way for a while, truthfully.

of course you love luke. you can't remember exactly when you realized it, but you just….know.

because if what you felt for luke wasn’t love, then you were foolish to have secretly bought into what silena beauregard had been on about for years, and aphrodite herself might just be out of a job.

“i know we’re kind of in a weird place, but, yeah, i mean it. you don’t have to say it back —”

luke leans forward to kiss you. gentler this time, but just as firm. “i love you."

"you do?" your heart resumes its beating.

"of course i do. i have ever since my first morning at camp.”

“yeah right,” you chuckle in disbelief, feeling your cheeks heat up. “it’s not a competition, you know, over who loved who first.”

“karma, i’m serious,” he insists. “someone taught me to burn offerings, and with everything that happened with thalia, i obviously wasn't in the worshiping mood, but then you leaned over and whispered —"

"they like the smell of begging."

luke grins at you, and you reach up to brush your thumb against the dimple in his cheek.

"exactly. somehow, that was what i needed to hear. it was nice to know that i wasn't the only one who didn’t want to just accept things the way they were….” he loses his train of thought. luke grabs your hand in his. “i wish i had told you earlier. after all this, i don’t want to lose you.”

“you won’t —”

“whatever happens,” luke continues, somewhat ominously. “i love you, y/n.”

you hadn't heard luke use your real name in a while. you fall asleep, heart full with the memory of him weaving it together with those three magic words.

the next morning, you wake up — you actually sleep in, for the first time in years — and decide that if you could stay here forever, you would.

the morning sun stings your eyes through the sheer curtains. the sticky heat of summer sits heavy in the room, and stray grains of sand tickle your skin underneath the sheets. waves wash gently on the shore outside, and an ocean breeze mixes with the smell of burnt cinnamon. you can hear annabeth, grover, and percy crashing dishes and bickering and causing chaos in the kitchen as, you imagine, they scramble to surprise you with breakfast.

luke is next to you, on his stomach. his curls are a mess, covering most of his face.

evidence from last night: scratches from your nails prominent on his back, his neck decorated with purple bruises in the shape of your lips. you shift slightly and feel a dull ache between your legs, so you'd call it even.

outside, something clatters on the floor, and you hear percy swear.

luke's eyes flutter open, ever so slightly, and he starts to move. "we should get up before they burn down the place."

you press your hand to luke's shoulder blade, barely, but in his half-asleep state, it's enough to keep him in bed. luke moves to his side, facing you. you bring your hand up to brush curls away from luke's eyes, even if they're still closed.

"they've literally been to hell and back," you recall his sarcastic words from last night. "i think they can handle pancakes."

the corners of luke's mouth curl upwards.

"you're such a smart ass," he mumbles.

you lean forward, plant a kiss underneath luke's chin. his stubble scratches against your lips.

"don't pretend you don't love it, tiger."

luke breathes steadily. you think he might've fallen asleep once more until he presses his lips to your forehead, pulls you towards him, and quips:

"i love you."

your heart quickens as you echo his words. something churns in your stomach, too.

because this peace isn't something that feels permanent.

you're the children of gods, and there's always a catch. some inevitable plot twist where lovers end up separated, where heroes end up dead or cursed.

it's nauseating — dangerous, even — that you want a happy ending, a desire buried in you deeply like a knife to the gut. it's cruel that the fates keep twisting, taunting you with what can never be.

no monsters; no gods or titans; no prophecies.

just this.

#the way this became a whole chapter....i've got wayyy too much to say i guess #i really wanted to incorporate the trio into this series a bit more and how others see luke + karma's relationship #also i forget who said it but smut as a character study....yeah <3 #luke castellan fic #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan angst #luke castellan smut #luke castellan x nemesis!reader #luke castellan x you #pjo fanfic #pjo #luke castellan fanfic #saf writes

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evanpeterswhoresblog · 1 day

Note

BBYG PART TWO OF GUILTY AS SIN PLEASE I LUV UR WORKSSSS

i hope you guys enjoy this!! i had a lot of fun with it. it’s technically part two but i gave it a different title sorry :)

~~~

Fresh Out The Slammer

James Potter x f!reader

warnings: smut, protected p in v, fingering, slight oral (f receiving), very slight underage alcohol but barely, morally idk how good this is, lmk if i missed any

summary: after you and Remus finally split, you and James finally come together…

word count: 2.8k

a/n: another taylor fanfic hahaha (i love this) lmk what you guys think of the end i thought it was really clever but maybe that’s just me being overconfident…

~~~

I did my time

Now pretty baby I’m running back home to you

Fresh out the slammer

I know who my first call will be to...

~~~

When you look back on your days at Hogwarts, you always wonder why you and Remus stayed together so long.

It was a week after your monumental conversation with James on the grass that your overdue breakup occurred. You had tried your hardest to give your relationship one last try, you really did. But one night as you laid next to the tall lanky boy, all you could think about was a certain pair of hazel eyes. A pair that didn’t belong to the boy next to you.

That was the final straw.

“Rem,” you said, your voice cool. “I think it’s best we break up.”

You kept your eyes on the canopy above, but you could feel him shift beside you. “Really?”

“Yes. In fact, I think this is overdue. Don’t you think?”

“I suppose so...” he replied.

You turned to look at him. Unsurprisingly, he was sitting calmly as could be with a book in one of his hands. A sigh escaped your lips, but you didn’t say anything else. Instead, you simply stood and began to dress yourself. He was the one to speak again.

“Would it be all right if we remained friends?” He asked his eyes on you for what felt like the first time in a while.

“Of course. Let’s not make it odd for everyone else,” you answered.

He looked back down at his book. “Right. Good night then.”

On the walk back to your dorm you named every reason in your head why you broke up with Remus. He was distant. He didn’t know how to treat you like a true girlfriend. The spark had died between the two of you. The relationship had truly just run its course. But as you stepped into the common room your eyes found the most significant reason.

You refused to put him on your mental list.

~~~

You didn’t know if it was out of respect for Remus or if it was intentional at all, but James waited a few weeks before making any sort of move on you. You were glad. Adjusting to a single life was strange. You no longer spent time alone with Remus, you no longer cried or had fits because of his behavior. He was simply another one of your friends. You liked him better that way.

When James did give you a sign, it was far from subtle.

It came during Charms in the form of a small piece of paper. Of course, Charms happened to be the only class the two of you had together that Remus was not in as well. In fact, the only other member of your friend group who was in the class was Peter and he never paid much attention to anything. So, when you felt the piece of paper hit your lap, you didn’t hesitate to open it.

How’s the single life treating you so far? -J

You turned your head to look at James, a smile on your lips. He was already looking at you, a similar smile on his face. You felt your cheeks heat up as you scribbled your reply and threw it back to him.

It’s better than I expected, most things are the same.

He was quick to throw it back.

That’s true except now you’re free to do whatever you’d like..

You held in a breath.

More like whomever I’d like

You let out a shaky breath at his reply.

Yeah? Well, you know where my bed is

For a few seconds, you stared at the note, not sure if you should write anything more. You turned back to look at him and your eyes instantly met his. He looked at you with a gleam that you hadn’t seen in a boy's eyes in a long time, at least not one directed toward you. So, you picked up your quill and wrote back, not a single guilty thought crossing your mind.

I suppose I’m going to know what it feels like soon too

~~~

Another long week passed before anything happened between you and him. And each day that passed only filled you with more desire. You felt almost giddy at the thoughts. A secret hookup with James Potter. It was something you’d imagined for a long time, but for so many reasons you never imagined it would actually be brought to life.

But it was.

One night, there was a party in the Ravenclaw common room that everyone was attending. Everyone except you. Or so you thought.

“Are you sure y/n/n? It’ll be so much fun,” Lily questioned. You were all in the Gryffindor common room. Everyone else was getting ready to leave, but you sat on the couch in your bedclothes.

“Yeah, I’m not really in the party mood tonight. Plus, I have some work that still needs to be done,” you answered honestly.

“Boring!” Sirius exclaimed. “Don’t worry lovely I’ll make sure to save some alcohol for you.”

“Thanks, Sirius,” you said with a laugh.

“Let’s go, Wormtail, Moony, Prongs.”

“Actually, you lot can go without me. I’m not feeling the greatest.”

Your eyes shot to James. What was he doing? You noticed what he was wearing. A wifebeater and flannel pants. You swore you never wanted to shag him more than at that moment.

“Are you serious?” Sirius groaned. “Whatever mate you’re no fun. We’ll be back later.”

“All right, have fun,” James replied.

“Bye, y/n/n!” The girls sang as they left.

You waved them all goodbye before getting up and turning to the staircase. You could feel James’s eyes burning into you from behind.

“Seems it’s just the two of us for once,” he said, his voice quieter than before.

Your stomach filled with butterflies. “Yeah, it seems that way.”

“I was wondering if you could help me with some Charms work, I know you have the homework as well perhaps we can do it together...” From the tone of his voice, you knew it wasn’t true. But still, you turned and gave him a slight nod. “It’s all in my dorm, let’s just go up there to do it.”

Deep down, you knew you should’ve felt bad. James was your ex-boyfriend’s best friend. If any of them knew about your sinful thoughts, you’d surely be thrown out of the group and shunned. However, while that knowledge made you feel uneasy, it didn’t stop you from following him up to the dorm.

The second the door closed behind the two of you, James’s lips were on yours. Though it came as a surprise, you didn’t hesitate for even a second to kiss him back. His lips were warm and soft, just how you had always imagined. It was messy and quick and when he broke it you found yourself breathless. All you could do was stare at him, your cheeks pink.

“James I-”

“We can take our time if you’d like, I’m sorry I’ve just wanted to do that for so fucking long,” he replied as if he could read your mind.

“Me too, you don’t understand.” You inhaled deeply and took a few steps deeper into the dorm you were all too familiar with. Only this time, you sat on a different bed. “This doesn’t feel real.”

He sat down next to you on his bed, his glowing hazel eyes locked on yours. “Believe me, I understand everything.”

“I just... want you,” you mumbled. It felt so good to finally say it. You placed one of your hands on his thigh. “I want you a lot.”

He smiled in a way that practically sent shivers down your spine. “I want you too.”

“So, take me. You don’t... you don’t have to be gentle,” you whispered with a confidence you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Instead of answering you with words, James leaned closer and caught your lips in another kiss. This time though, it wasn’t messy and rushed. No. It was passionate, it was a kiss that would leave you giggling on your bed when you looked back on it. As your lips moved against his you followed his lead and laid back on the mattress with your legs parted for him to slip in between.

His hands were far bigger than yours. When he slid one of them up your thigh you almost couldn’t remember how to breathe. You kissed him harder and weaved your fingers through his soft curly hair. He toyed with your shorts for a moment before carefully slipping his hand beneath the fabric. It would be an understatement to say you were wet. You were soaked. And you could feel James’s smirk on your mouth when he discovered this.

“Are you always like this?” He mumbled.

You shook your head. “Only when it comes to you.”

“Good.”

He wasted no more time and moved his fingers under your knickers, finding your clit almost instantly. You gasped, one of your hands gripped his strong shoulder tightly, and your eyes squeezed shut.

“James,” you moaned.

He began to trail wet kisses down your neck as he continued to rub soft circles on your clit. Never mind thinking straight, you couldn’t think at all. Your stomach was warm, and waves of pleasure coursed throughout your entire body. You swore you’d never felt anything as good in your life. But when your hand brushed against his shirt you sighed.

“Take it off, take everything off. Please,” you whispered frantically.

You opened your eyes to see James’s bright smile. “Since you asked so nicely.”

Without another word, he leaned back and pulled his shirt off. You couldn’t stop yourself from staring. His muscles were toned, yet he was still skinny. You wanted to kiss every inch of his body, but you settled on dragging your fingers up and down his chest for a few seconds.

“Your turn,” he said.

You silently sat up and lifted your tank top over your head and threw it down to the floor. Perhaps it was the amount of lust that consumed you, or perhaps it was the amount of comfort you felt with James. Either way, you didn’t cower or feel insecure as his eyes moved across your naked breasts. In fact, you felt confident. So, you laid back down on his bed and began to pull your shorts and knickers down, your eyes not leaving his.

Only when you were fully naked did you feel a slight feeling of insecurity. James must’ve noticed this though because he leaned over you and pressed a sincere kiss to your lips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. He brushed a hand over one of your breasts. “So perfect.”

“Fuck me, James, please I can’t bear it any longer,” you replied quickly. It was true, you’d already waited so many months in silence. How were you expected to wait even a second longer?

“I think you can afford to bear it for a few more minutes. I want to have my way with you first.”

You were going to protest, but before you could he slid his hand between your thighs. He swirled his fingers over you, collecting your wetness before eventually carefully moving one of his fingers inside of you. You threw your head back and gripped his sheets hard. It was an even better feeling than you’d imagined. He kissed you hungrily as he slowly started finger fucking you.

As if that wasn’t enough, he kissed down your body minutes later before ending with his face between your thighs. You couldn’t contain your whimpers and moans. If anyone was near the Gryffindor boy's dorm, they’d surely hear you. The fact neither of you thought enough to cast a silencing charm only made it more thrilling.

By the time you reached your first orgasm, you were quite sure you’d never felt anything nearly as good in your life. Remus never cared enough to spend his time pleasuring you, at least not after the first few months. But James cared a whole lot. He touched you with his tongue and his fingers till you were shaking and panting for a break.

When he did stop you watched through heavy lids as he wiped his mouth on your thigh and began to pull down his last remaining articles of clothing. His eyes were glowing, and his glasses were almost falling off his face. You decided then that he was by far the most attractive boy you’d ever seen. And when your eyes trailed down his naked body you found yourself an even bigger reason as to why that statement was true.

“Are you on the potion?” He asked as he began to move over you.

“Yeah,” you answered, your voice weak.

He smirked. “You’re a dirty girl hm?”

“For you yes.”

“How so?”

You smiled sweetly and reached up to remove James’s glasses. “Truthfully? Sometimes I touch myself when I think of you.”

“You’ll have to show me next time.” He shifted and you felt his tip brush against your entrance. Your breath caught in your throat. “Is this what you think about?”

“S-Sometimes yes,” you said with a shaky voice.

All you could do as he slowly began to thrust into you was gasp and wrap your arms around him, your nails digging into his skin. He was big and you were still sensitive from how hard you previously came. Those factors only amplified how good he felt. Once he was fully in, he leaned down to connect your lips in another heated kiss before truly starting the shag.

Though Remus would fuck you hard, he never fucked you the way James did. James went hard, he went fast, but he also showed he still cared. At one point, he removed one of your hands from his back and pressed it against the mattress, lacing his fingers through yours. And his lips were either on yours, on your neck, or whispering sweet praises. Even the way he said your name was enough to tell you how much he cared about you.

You didn’t know how long it went on, but it was long enough that he started to grow tired. At that point, you’d already reached your second orgasm, so you decided he deserved a break. With all your strength, you flipped your positions and took some control. You lowered yourself onto him and nearly came a third time from the sounds he made.

When everything was done and over, the two of you laid next to each other out of breath and shocked at what had transpired. You felt your heart pound in your chest and a sticky feeling between your thighs. You turned your head to look at the boy next to you. He, of course, was already looking at you, his glasses back on.

“That was...”

“Better than any of my fantasies,” you told him.

“Mine too,” he agreed with a smile.

You bit down on your lip. “So now what?”

“Perhaps another go?”

That was an offer you could never refuse.

~~~

Hours later, past midnight at least, the door to the boy's dorm opened and the other three Marauders stumbled in. Sirius was far too drunk; he could barely stand up straight. That left Remus and Peter to stand on either side of him with their arms wrapped around his back protectively. All their eyes found you and James after a few seconds. The two of you sat on his bed, a foot of papers between the two of you.

“Oh, hello y/n,” Peter greeted you.

“Y/n, what are you doing here?” Remus questioned.

Sirius only gasped overdramatically. “They’re shagging! Prongsie and Lovely are shagging!”

You rolled your eyes and stood up. “Why don’t we get you to bed?”

“Can I have a go first? Before bed? Please! Is that all right Moony?” Sirius stumbled over his words as his friends dropped him into his bed.

“Nobody’s having a go unless it is Moony,” James said.

Remus turned toward you, a questioning expression on his face. “What are you doing up here?”

You pointed at the many papers on James’s bed. “Charms homework, I told you lot that’s why I wasn’t going to the party. James felt a bit better, so we just decided to work on it together.”

“Will I be allowed to use that work?” Peter asked innocently.

“Of course, Pete,” you replied. You turned back to James’s bed where he still sat, and you began to gather your work. “I should be going then.”

You held your papers close to your chest and tried your hardest not to look at James. You knew if you did, something on your face would clearly show what had really gone on. So, you kept your head down and moved as fast as you could to their door.

“Same time next week then?” James’s voice caught your attention as you were about to leave.

You looked over your shoulder and nodded, trying your hardest not to blush. “Or sooner, I’m very eager to get this work done.”

“All right, sooner, goodnight then,” James replied with a knowing look.

The last thing you heard before leaving was the innocent voice of Peter asking if he could join in and the loud laugh that James let out.

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identitty-dickruption · 15 hours

Note

I really appreciate ur vocal stance about harm reduction. If u have a moment, could u perhaps link to, or talk about how harm reduction works with alcohol?

Thank you, an I hope u have a good day:)

of course! while I’m now completely sober, I wouldn’t have been able to get here without harm reduction, so it’s a very personal thing to me. that being said, to be clear I also see harm reduction as an objective good, even (especially!) if it never leads to sobriety

the thing about alcohol is that a lot of it is tightly regulated on account of it being a) legal, and b) easily accessible. so you don’t necessarily have the same safety concerns as you’d have with other drugs. it’s pretty easy to keep track of how much you’ve had, because most countries have some form of “standard drink”, which legally has to be printed on labels etc

other than that, harm reduction is fairly similar with alcohol as with other drugs. the way I was taught about it was to break harm reduction into three parts: mindset, context, and substance. before you can work on setting harm reduction goals, you need to understand the facts of when, where, and why you drink, and it can be helpful to work within those categories

mindset (how you feel)

what thoughts and feelings usually lead up to drinking?

are there thoughts and feelings that are likely to lead to a worse experience when drinking?

what are some other ways you cope with those same feelings?

harm reduction in this category usually means practicing self-awareness around this stuff. if you know you’re more likely to have a bad time if you drink while angry, you can set yourself some goals around not drinking while angry (or drinking less when angry). it also can help to set up some safety barriers so that drinking is less likely to hurt yourself or others

context (social + built environment)

where do you usually drink the most? how safe are these places?

are there people you drink more around or who encourage unsafe drinking behaviours?

what environments make you feel safest when drinking?

this is where most of the harm reduction work happens with respect to drinking. not drinking with people who encourage unsafe drinking can make a major difference. as can having an accountability partner, not drinking when alone, or otherwise planning ahead to keep you as safe as possible

substance (facts of what you’re using)

how much do you usually drink?

how much is safe for you to drink? at which point do you usually start to feel unwell?

what is the best way for you to track how much you’re drinking?

what other substances might be involved? how will they interact with alcohol? (including prescription medication!!)

this also includes knowing what overdose looks like, and having a plan for what you will do in case of overdose. being aware of what a certain amount of alcohol is likely to do to your body can also make it easier to drink safely

IN GENERAL: it’s important to be realistic with yourself. setting goals you know you can’t meet right now is a fast train to burnout, shame, and disappointment. even doing ONE thing to make yourself safer is GOOD. the safer you are the better, and whatever that looks like is good

I hope this has been helpful! feel free to ask any other questions about this either way :)

#asks #addiction #sorry this is so long. oops!

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fizzy-dizzie · 3 days

Text

When Bucky hugged Steve for the first time since he got the serum, they were alone in a tent. They had just got back to the base camp after their miles long walk back from the hydra base and they were both exhausted.

Steve is situating himself around the very nice, fancy tent that he insisted on sharing and Bucky hasn't taken his eyes off him since he saw him from the table he was strapped onto. Steve. Little Steve. Steve who got sick every winter and who's asthma played up every summer. Steve who had been 5'4 and had remained as such since he was 14. Steve who got into too many fights and never won but not once for lack of passion.

Bucky has to say something, because he hasn't been saying anything since escaping the base and now he feels like he's about to boil over. "Steve"

The same big blue eyes he's always known greeted him and were quick to lace with concern. "You okay, Buck?"

And generally speaking no, Bucky was not okay, he'd been experimented on, he'd been taken by the enemy and strapped down to a goddamn table and he couldn't even remember half of what they did to him there.

For all Bucky knows he could drop dead at any moment but he isn't thinking about that, because he's thinking about how Steve is here, in front of him, all 6'2 of him. He's thinking about how the breath exiting his mouth doesn't follow with wheezing, or how he can take the full rib expanding breaths when he needs it without coughing until there are tears forcing themselves out of his eyes.

Bucky steps forward, his hand gently presses against the expanse of Steve's chest. He stops himself from gawking considering the fact you could park an eighteen wheeler on this thing, he even opens his mouth to say just that but then he feels Steve's heart beat, steady and pumping under his palm.

It's only slight considering the amount of muscle and thick bone in the way but he can feel it all the same and it's not stuttering and irregular. It's pumping blood, lots of blood wherever Steve needs it, constantly and in all the right places instead of spending most of its time in the lowest point of the body.

If Steve were to get sick this heart would help him get better instead of having to fight to keep itself working, and his new lungs might get congested but they wouldn't spasm every time he needed a breath of fresh air. Steve won't be laying in bed all winter sick and out of his mind with any and every illness that has always loved making his life a living hell.

Steve is healthy.

And suddenly feeling overwhelmed, Bucky clears his throat and blinks away any escaped liquid from his eyes, which are very pointedly looking towards his hand. Because if he looks up at Steve and sees those blue eyes all concerned, seeing right through him like they always do, he really will loose it.

"You're okay.." He mumbles mostly to himself.

It comes off as a statement more than anything and a chocked out one at that but Steve knows, because he always knows what Bucky is trying to get at. He places his hand over Bucky's wrist and just holds him, his hand is steady and must be magical because Bucky grows calm at the touch.

"I'm okay."

Feeling himself falter at the affirmation, he leans in, arms wrapping around the waist he could once circle completely with one arm. But he almost backs out as quickly as he started it, the foreign body giving the wrong signals, like hugging a coworker or a distant relative you see once a decade.

But taking a deep breath to centre himself, Steve smelled like he always did, plus the scent of cheap soap hardly lingering, faded from the long day they both just had.

And when he ran his hands over his back he could feel the familiar humps of his spine and count them all the same. Even Steve's hands find the same spot on Bucky's back as they always used to, where his ribs end and his back start to dip in at the start of his waist.

Bucky can still reach the hair at the base of Steve's head and run his fingers through it like he used to see Steve's ma do when they were young.

Now Steve sighs into the hug and Bucky squeezes tighter since he knows he won't be doing any damage. They stay like that for a long time in their own personal world, the centre of their own solar system, everything else moving around them, floating within their orbit.

When they pull back, Bucky's hands linger on Steve's waist for longer then they should and when he looks up Steve's eyes are so full of admiration but his nose and eyebrows are scrunched up like he's got something to say.

Bucky takes his hands back to his sides. "what?"

"We aren't going to leave each other again, okay?" He says it so sure, like they aren't going to be in the heat of battle every other day but Bucky wants it just as bad as he does so he nods and smiles.

"You're stuck with me pal, I'm not going anywhere"

#and then he fell of a train so yeah #steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain America the first avenger #catfa #stucky #bringing stucky with me to my grave #40s stucky #drabble??#headcanon #ficlet perhaps

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gretavangroupie · 3 days

Text

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 4)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 18.0k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Oral M! Receiving, Oral F! Receiving, Protected Sex.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

HER POV

Thirteen hours.

It had been thirteen long hours since you last saw Jake, leaving your room in a hurry of flustered nerves. You were dreading it, but he was nowhere to be found this morning, not a sight or sound from him since late last night. It had been ten hours since his text, coming to you far too early in the morning for your liking. He was sorry. Of course he was sorry. The text came so early in fact, that part of you wondered if he was just arriving back to the hotel from the amp situation, or if he was tossing and turning in his bed in much the same way you were. You loaded into the van bright and early with Wes and Paul, secretly wondering where he was or if he was going to show up at all, but if you had to guess he was likely passed out in his bed five floors up.

Your market list today was short, only a few things for Josh and Sam and the noticeable absence of normal requests from Jake. You didn’t think much of it, getting what you needed before making the trek back to the venue. You took the spare second to give Ruth a quick run down and she was just as confused as you were. For once in her life she had nothing to say. She was speechless and you didn’t blame her.

She insisted you reply to Jake’s early morning text, but you couldn’t. You had no idea where to even start. You wanted to move forward and forget it ever happened, and in order to do that you needed to leave last night behind you. Right? You know that when you do see him today though, things will be tense. Maybe even a little awkward. You take solace in the fact that you will be busy the entire day, making it fairly easy to avoid him and forget about everything, you hoped.

You made your way back into the crew area, flashing your shiny laminated badge to security as you juggle the paper bags in your arms. You navigate the winding corridors of the venue hearing the sounds of rumbling bass and guitar echo through the halls, finding yourself smiling at the fact that this was a sound not many people got to experience. Jake must have made it here after all. Familiar voices laughing a few feet ahead of you snap you back to reality. You see Mia and Lyla hanging out in front of the greenroom, looking at something on one of their phones just as they spot you.

“Y/N! Hey!” Mia shouts, waving you over, “C’mere!”

You turn to head over towards them, stopping short as Lyla grabs one of the bags from your arms. “I’ll take one of those!”

“Oh, thanks!” you smile, feeling Mia place her hand on your arm.

“We just were talking a little while ago about how much fun we had with you yesterday. I know you don’t really know us that well yet, but you are welcome to hang with us whenever you want. Seriously. We want to get to know you, we need another girl on our side!”

“That’s so nice! Thank you so much, I appreciate that, really,” you answer, adjusting your grip on the bag in your hand. “I will take you up on that, yesterday was really cool.”

“Yeah, so what did you get into after we went back to the hotel?” Lyla asks, tilting her head a bit.

“Oh, I just…I went to my room and hung out for a while, went and did a little sightseeing of my own and ordered room service and fell asleep. I was pretty exhausted after walking all day,” you say, bending the truth just a touch.

“Huh, well, call us next time, hate for you to go out all alone,” Mia says, raising an eyebrow as she turns to Lyla. It almost seems as if she's waiting for you to correct her.

It strikes you as a little suspicious but you know better than to play into it. “Yeah, absolutely. But hey I have to go get this set up, they will be looking for it any second.”

“Yeah yeah, no problem, go, I know how Sam gets,” Lyla laughs, handing the bag back to you.

“Thanks again, I’ll find you two later!” you shout over your shoulder.

You rush into the greenroom, furiously arranging the food and drinks before soundcheck finishes. You want to get things set up, done, and be gone before they ever step foot in the room. Sure you told yourself you were going to be mature about things, but you weren’t going to put yourself in the line of fire. In fact, you had yet to see any of the guys today, and part of you was thankful. Trying to make awkward small talk with them was the absolute last thing you wanted to do right now.

You wipe your hands on your pants as you finish placing the drinks into the cooler, feeling your phone buzz in your back pocket.

Paul

3:43PM: Need another case of Topos and a bottle of soda water please

Fuck, where was this text an hour ago?

You

3:44PM: No problem, be back soon.

—

Two stores and thirty minutes later you are walking back to the venue, braving the cold with the case of drinks and bottle of soda water in hand. Your jacket is zipped all the way up to your neck, and still the wind is whipping right through you. You can see the venue gates a block away but the wind is making it feel like ten. Again you flash your badge to security, the burly man opening the gates to let you into the back parking lot. As you turn the corner to approach the entrance, you’re stopped in your tracks. Standing outside the doors, leaning against the brick wall is Jake. Of course.

He doesn’t see you, not yet at least. His back is turned a bit to cut the wind. Clad in only a t-shirt and his corduroy jacket, you know he is freezing. The smoke billows from his lips, whooshing away quickly as the wind whips it into the air. His lips. His perfectly pink, heart shaped lips that were all over your body last night. Kissing and biting and… No. Stop it. You try to compose yourself, gripping the items in your hands as you head toward the door, prepared to say as little as possible to him, and walk straight inside.

That of course, did not happen.

“Have any trouble finding it?” he asks, turning to meet your eyes as he rolls his smoke out between his fingers, dropping the burnt tobacco into the grass.

“Oh, um, no no, all good,” you answer nervously. Which was also a lie, you were kinda sweating finding the Topos for a second.

Your eyes catch on his jacket, your mind swirling with the memory of his cologne that lingers in its fibers. You feel a tinge of happiness in your chest at the fact he is talking to you, though, why wouldn’t he be? You didn’t do anything wrong. You watch his lips twitch a little, and you can tell that he seems almost nervous to talk to you.

“When are you ever gonna ask me for the things you want?” you ask playfully, trying to ease his anxiety. It never happened, remember?

He turns his body completely, crossing his arms over his chest as he smirks at you, “Well, the last time I texted you, you left me on read. So I figure I will just get my own things, now.”

Fuck, okay that plan backfired.

You bite your lips together and look down to the ground, unsure of what to even say to that. He drops his hands to his sides as he looks at you, and you feel your body temperature start to rise under his gaze. The wind blows his hair across his face, in turn sending the smell of his cologne barrelling past you. You feel bad for him, of course…if the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t even be speaking to him right now, let alone be acting even the littlest bit flirty. You shiver a little, from the cold or the smell of his cologne, you aren’t sure.

“I need to get this inside,” you stammer, at a complete loss on how to respond to that.

He nods his head and grabs the door handle, pulling it open and gesturing for you to go, but thankfully, he doesn’t follow you.

Fuck. Okay. Okay. It’s fine. It’s totally fine.

You rush back into the green room, finding Sam and Danny playing around with a mini golf toy.

“Here you go Sam! Sorry! Had to go to two places to find the kind you like,” you smile, ripping the box open.

“My hero!” he shouts, rushing over to you and wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

You smile as he sets you down, tossing a can to Daniel, and then cracking the lid on his own. The two of them saunter back through the greenroom doors, leaving you alone to throw the rest of them into the cooler.

You pull your phone from your bag, bringing up your text thread with Jake and staring at his last message. Maybe Ruth was right, you should respond. Now especially after that, after knowing he was still beating himself up over it. You type, delete and retype your message several times before finally landing on what felt right, and even more, you really mean it.

You

4:33PM: You have nothing to apologize for, Jake.

JAKE POV

As you continue to stand outside the venue and let the wind cut you in two, you wonder if your plan to play it smooth actually worked. She didn’t fully ignore you, she didn’t cuss you out, she didn’t laugh in your face… but she did speak. Only a few words, but you’ll take what you can get. It was hard to even say those few words to her, the instant courage you had to muster to speak to her after seeing her so unexpectedly almost threw you for a loop, but somehow, your words came out smoothly, concisely, and without sounding like you were a complete buffoon.

You relax a little as you know she is inside doing her duties, and you busy yourself pacing around the back exit to keep warm. The pre-show nerves start coming about this time of day, and sometimes it feels good to step out into the blistering cold for that extra shot of adrenaline to get your blood pumping. You jump up and down, shoving your hands in your pockets as you wait just a few more minutes… wanting to avoid having to make any more awkward conversation with her than you already had.

As your hand hits your pocket, though, you feel your phone buzz. You pull it out, seeing a notification that she has finally texted you back.

Y/N

4:33PM: You have nothing to apologize for, Jake.

You read the text no less than fifteen times, smiling from ear to ear before anxiety sets in, making you think that maybe she is just being nice. But you do have something to apologize for. You were the reason for a completely failed night, a shitty end to the perfect “date”, left her pissed and unsatisfied, the absolute worst. All you’ve been able to think about all day long is how you are going to explain everything, and make it up to her. You know you can’t until after the show, but just the little bit of contact from her makes you feel like you could move mountains. Progress is progress.

You’re pacing the hallways going back and forth between backstage and the green room, keeping yourself busy before you head to jam a little with the guys.

“Hey, man. You good?” Sam asks as you’re brushing past him in a doorway. His tone is more inquisitive than normal, and the volume of his voice is the one he uses when he’s unsure, or in this case, concerned.

“Yeah, I’m good. I mean… I wasn’t, really, but I am now,” you answer, pushing your sunglasses back up on your head. You watch his eyebrows furrow at your answer, wondering if you caught onto his loaded question.

“I heard about your amp, what happened?” he asks.

“I’m not sure, something with the wiring. Had a gash in the cabinet but the harness was all damaged to shit. They’re getting a rental, though… should be here soon,” you glance at your watch to double check the time, praying that you will have enough time to check it before tonight.

“Mmm, maybe not…” Sam stops in his tracks, and turns the opposite way to go back out to the stage. “Let me take a look at it.”

You’re surprised by him, but follow his quick steps anyway. You’re close behind him as you navigate the narrow halls, passing crew and staff left and right. And of course, one of them just happens to be Y/N. Her eyes widen as she sees the two of you.

“HEY!” Sam yells at her, grabbing her by the shoulder. “Daniel told me to tell you thank you for the soda water and that he appreciates it,” Sam cheeses a giant smile at her as she cups her hand over his, still squeezing her shoulder.

“No problem at all, Sam,” she giggles. “Man, you guys are really nice, no one has ever thanked me for getting them things this much,” she narrows her eyes at you, pursing her lips into the smallest smile. Mental note, thank her extra for whatever she decides to bring you to drink tonight…

“Well I mean we’re all assholes but we at least have manners,” he replies, starting to head toward the stage again. You part ways, but just her eyes meeting yours again was enough to make your heart flutter.

Sam skips every other step as he climbs the metal stairs to the stage, making his way over to your damaged amp that has been set to the side. “Alright, let’s see…” he squats down and pulls the back off, and starts to fidget with the wiring inside. “Oh, shit, yeah. I see now…” He pulls up the flashlight on his phone as you watch him think. Suddenly he stands and runs over to your cabinet, grabbing two handfuls of tools before making his way back and dropping them by your side. He then hops over to his own setup and pulls the back off of one of his own amps, pulling a few things from it, too. What the fuck is he doing?

He returns a minute later with some of the guts of his own amp, and pieces of it that you are sure you’ve never even seen before. He kneels back down and grabs a screwdriver, going back to work.

“So, you say you’re good now, but you weren’t, right?” he asks. “You’ve been acting kinda backward lately.”

“No I haven’t,” you kick back.

His eyes quickly scan to yours as his hands work at a quick pace. “Yeah, you have. I’m not stupid.”

You sigh, knowing that he isn’t gonna give it up. “I’ve just… got some other shit going on right now, I’ll–I’ll explain it all later once I get it dealt with,” you lie. The half-assed explanation will have to do for now, there is no way you are going into detail about all the good and bad happening in your life, especially since Lyla may be giving Sam a completely different story than the one you would give him.

You watch as he effortlessly completely replaces the wire housing, splicing the old wire at the perfect spot before tightening it back into place again. “There, that should do it…”

“Does your amp not need that stuff?” you ask, leaning your hands on your knees as you watch him.

“Eh, yeah, but I think this will be okay,” he says. “Alright, fire it up!” he yells at the techs, and you take that as your cue to grab your guitar to test it out. You plug the wire in and wait for Sam to get the thumbs-up from the booth. You play a single chord, hearing it ring across the arena with near-perfection.

“Holy shit Sam, how did you do that?!” your jaw is hanging slack as you make your way back over to him. “The techs couldn’t even figure it out…”

He wipes his hands against each other and stands with his hands on his hips like a proud father. “Eh, been watching Mark for a long time, now. Youtube deep-dives, ya know. Picked up on a few things.”

“Shit, I’m impressed,” you laugh. And you really, really were.

“Yeah, ya know, sometimes finding the root of the problem is the first step in making things work out how you want them to, know what I mean?” He bumps your side with his elbow. Yep. His first question was definitely loaded.

You nod slowly. “Yeah… thanks…”

“No problem.” He walks a little closer to you, barely twisting a peg on the headstock of your guitar. “There, now you’re tuned, too.”

You glance at the stock, seeing that he was right, the little fucker. You watch as he skips down the stairs again, throwing one finger in the air above him, screaming, “Cancel the rental!”

—

You and Sam decide to wander around the empty venue for a while, checking out the view from the top row of seats, enjoying a shared blunt as time ticks by. You don’t get to spend much time with just Sam, but every now and then you find a moment like this. You’re close with Sam, in a different way than you are with Josh. He understands things differently than Josh, and for a moment as the smoke swirls through your veins you consider asking him for advice about Isla.

You know it's a dangerous game, but without the influence of Lyla you think he would answer truthfully. Passing the blunt back to him you start to speak, but are quickly interrupted by your phone buzzing in your pocket. You pull it out, seeing a name on the screen that you’d been waiting for for a few days.

“Hey, let me take this, I’ll meet you back in the green room?” you ask, hoping he will catch the drift.

His face twists up in confusion, “Huh? You never answer your phone.”

“It’s Chris. I’ve been waiting on this call. Let me grab it,” you say, flashing the screen towards him.

“Oh, oh. About your new band with your new friends that aren’t me and Josh and Daniel. That's fine, yeah yeah take the call,” he says playfully.

“Old friends Sam, and don’t be like that…” you chide.

“No, it’s totally fine, cheater, answer before he hangs up,” he smiles, elbowing you as he stands up. You tap the green icon as he starts to walk away, clearing your throat and stifling back a smile.

“Chris…” you answer.

“Jake…” he answers, a happy lilt in his tone.

“I’m guessing this means we’re doing it?”

You hear him laugh on the other end of the phone, “Oh yeah, we’re doing it.”

—

“Jake, you good?” Danny asks, standing up from his practice kit.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m feelin’ really good actually,” you answer truthfully. You stand, placing your guitar into the stand and shaking out your hands as Josh steps up towards you.

“Drink?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Followin’ you…”

You do follow him back to the greenroom, needing a drink to get your blood moving and to shake those pre show jitters. As you step over the threshold you spot Y/N sitting on a couch talking to Lyla, Ty, and Mia. You wonder for a second if she has mentioned anything about what happened last night, but from the happy look on their faces you know it’s likely they know nothing about the two of you or what transpired last night.

You walk over to the drink table, Josh already getting started on making a drink for the two of you. You laugh at his heavy handed pour, but accept it graciously. You can hear the rumble of the crowd, the opener finishing up their set this very minute. Your eyes flick over to Y/N, catching her looking at you for just a second before looking away. The feeling of her eyes on you has your chest warming up, no alcohol needed.

In all reality you were ready for this show to be over. You knew that as soon as you got the chance you were going to whisk her away to talk about last night, explain things, and hope she understood. You just had to get through this show.

You grab the drink from Josh and make your way over to the empty couch across the room, sitting at the very end and crossing your leg over your knee. You know you’ve got about thirty minutes until you need to walk, and you still need to change, but a quick drink would do you some good so you enjoy the few moments listening to Josh ramble.

Just as you start to relax you notice Y/N standing from her place on the couch and walking over towards the corner of the room. You try not to stare, knowing Mia and Lyla’s eyes are on you but you have an idea of what she may be doing, so you sit back and watch to find out.

You hear her walkie talkie chattering from across the room, the time until stage is growing smaller and smaller. As she stands back up she turns around and looks at you, letting her eyes linger on you for just a few seconds before she walks out of the room with your bottle of wine in hand. You stifle back the smile on your lips as you think about her going through your bag again. It’s strange, you’d never allowed any of the other runners to do that, but she was different. You found yourself excited at the idea of her touching your things, finding your wine and readying your drink for the stage.

You turn back to Josh who has his eyes locked on you with a knowing grin. He clears his throat and makes sure that no one is listening before he speaks, “Are you two good, then?”

You nod your head inconspicuously, sipping at the drink in your hand. “Seems that way.”

He pats his hand on your thigh harshly, “Good, go get changed. We’ve got a show to play.”

Just then, Paul ducks his head through the door looking frazzled as usual, “Boys, twenty minutes.”

Josh tilts his head to you, and you stand up heading for the dressing rooms. You quickly change into your suit and slip into your boots, ready to swipe on some eyeliner before you hit the stage. You hear your phone buzz on the countertop, and it zaps all of your attention. You are practically stumbling over your own feet to get to it, hoping to see something from Y/N, and much to your delight, it is.

‘Y/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

Oh fuck, a song.

Your heart is pounding in your chest, you want to open it immediately but you know you have to get this eyeliner on first. You grab the pencil and pull your lid down, swiping on the dark black liner, smudging it out with your finger the best you can before repeating it on the other side. All you can think about is what song she added. Will it be happy? Will it be sad? Is she telling you she doesn’t want to do this anymore? That you fucked up?

You cap the liner and toss it into your bag, running your fingers through your hair and adjusting your suit jacket in the mirror. You look good, you look really good, and you know that a spray of cologne probably wouldn’t hurt. You snatch your phone off the counter and make your way back into the greenroom, finding everyone else dressed and ready to walk.

You make your way to your backpack, crouching down in front of it searching for the small glass bottle of cologne you know is floating around at the bottom. You pull it from the bag and give yourself a generous spray. It calms you, in a way, breathing in the familiar scent. It centers you and reminds you of home.

Unable to wait a single second longer, you tap the notification on your screen bringing up the shared playlist, scrolling to the very bottom. Your heart leaps in your chest when you see her addition, and you know that you are about to play a good show because of it.

You tap the song, letting the sweet and sentimental notes of ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ by Frankie Valli ring through the air. You turn the volume up probably a little louder than it should be, but you don’t care. It’s not long before Josh notices, peering over at you from the rim of his paper cup.

“Jake, is that Frankie Valli? Holy shit, wait, do you like good music now?” he teases, throwing you a wink.

The chorus echoes through the room, Sam and Lyla obviously enjoying the song as he dances her around the room. He pops a few grapes into his mouth as they spin and you can’t help but to notice that this song alone has brightened everyone's spirits in a matter of seconds. She definitely had that effect on you, but now her magic was being cast on others. You almost wanted to thank her, and you would, tonight. With extra thanks…

You quickly pull up your texts with her, deciding to let her know you saw it without saying too much.

You

8:31PM: 😎

You know it’s risky but you don’t care. You also know the chances of her replying to that are slim, because in all honesty what do you even say to that? But she continues to surprise you, your phone buzzing in your hand before you can even put it back in your bag.

Y/N

8:32PM: 🎸

You can’t seem to shake the smile from your face and you’re glad you are still crouched down in front of your bag, because you know everyone would have a million questions the second they saw your shit-eating grin.

“Let’s go guys, time to walk!” Paul shouts, pulling your attention away from the little guitar emoji. You toss your phone in your bag and straighten out your suit, trying to get your mind back into the zone to play this show. Get through this, then you can talk to her.

Your heart is beating fast though, knowing that at the end of this hallway she is waiting for you. You know you have to play it cool, you don’t want to seem too eager. You clear your throat and fall to the back of the group, saving yourself for last.

You’re fine Jake. Just act natural, be cool.

—

HER POV

The tequila cocktail… the Topo… the spiked hot tea… and…

The shadowed figure is bringing up the rear like the tail end of a parade of sequins and sparkling material, dressed in black satin and glittering in the dim lights, hair flowing back from his shoulders as his right hand falls to his stomach as he walks. His face is contoured by the flashing lights of the stage, showcasing the smudged black eyeliner carefully but heavily painted over the eyes that were boring into you, now.

You feel your hand begin to shake on its own accord, trying not to spill the chalice of white wine that it was, in all honesty, about to drop to the floor below you. You swallow harshly as he makes his way toward you at almost slow-motion speed, his eyes dark and hollow as his presence approaches. Your hand shakily extends the cup, glancing up to him again as he bites his cheeks in, suppressing a smile that reads more like a judgment on behalf of your probably flustered state. Why are you reacting this way? This man literally gave you one of the most awkward exchanges of your night last night…

His fingertips are nearly on fire as they barely graze yours, taking the cup with a quickness.

“Good luck,” you mutter, probably barely audible over the opening orchestral.

He flips his hair out from underneath the strap of his guitar with his free hand, side-eyeing you as he walks toward the stairs to the stage. “Mmm, don’t need it, babe.” As if the pure adrenaline wasn’t already enough to knock you over, his bold act of cocky audacity steals all the breath directly from your lungs, leaving you standing with your mouth agape and your hands dropped at your sides. God damn, why is he like this?

“I don’t know… I’ve seen you with stage fright before…” you retort, suddenly feeling bold enough to joke about what happened the night prior.

“Ohhhh, is that how it’s gonna be?!” he laughs, bumping into your shoulder. “Hope you know that’s not normally how those kinds of nights go for me…” he yells back over the deafening music, avoiding eye contact with you as he takes the first sip from his wine.

You cross your arms over your chest. “Oh, it’s not, is it?”

He shakes his head a little as he begins to ascend the metal stairs. “No. Most definitely not.” Your heart is pounding out of your ribcage as his words ring through your brain, replaying the utter humiliation of last night, followed by his overwhelming acts of confidence in the past minute. “Thank you, though, seriously. For taking care of us.” He leans over the handrail of the steps, leaning down to speak closely in your ear. “But for taking care of me, especially. I plan on returning the favor, don’t worry…”

He stands back up and glides onto the stage, holding his wine up into the air as if to salute your efforts. Your mouth goes dry as you find yourself in a puddle of excited emotions. You can feel your mouth hanging open still from his words, your lips unable to close simply from hearing him say he wants to try again. It's all a conundrum, and now you’re full-on staring at him as he crosses the stage to stand with his brothers, fluffing his hair a little as he pulls a pick from the inside of his jacket, biting it between his front teeth. He turns back to you and winks, placing his own hand under his jaw, signaling for you to pick yours up off of the floor.

—--

Minutes later you’re still standing at the base of the stairs, watching as they begin their night of revelry. Jake’s amp sounds perfect again, and you can tell that his worry of finding a replacement and anxiety of it not making it on time was all for nothing. He treats the stage like it’s his second life, a place where he can release his true inner self, or, maybe, an alternate version of the man that he is. You’re not sure yet, but you have a deep feeling that you will be experiencing it, soon. The thought of that makes your insides feel like they’re blazing with hormones, watching his performance pick up and slow down with each passing second. Yeah, you know for a fact last night was a fluke. Had to be. There’s no way he can’t really actually…nevermind.

You pull your phone from your pocket, hoping that you have enough service to facetime Ruth. You don’t even bother doing the math to see if you’ll be waking her up or not, but you also know that she absolutely won’t care, if this is what she gets to wake up to. You press the green button, watching as it connects with only a little bit of blurriness from the reception.

You plaster a smile on your face as you watch her answer, realizing exactly where you are, and what you’re in the middle of doing. You can’t hear each other, but you turn the screen around, giving her a full view of the show happening from side stage. You watch her face light up, and an ‘OH MY GOD’ form on her lips. You take the time to zoom in on each member, of course, saving Jake for last. He’s the closest to you, so you don’t have to use much zoom at all for her to really see him. ‘That’s him! That’s him, isn’t it?!’ you watch her mouth. Her hand snaps up to cover the lower half of her face as you watch her squirm with excitement. ‘Last night wasn’t real, you gotta let him try again!!!’ you read her lips, and you turn the screen back to yourself.

You roll your eyes, mouthing back an enunciated, ‘I know!’

You let her watch for a few more minutes before the crappy reception disconnects you altogether, and she shoots you a quick text filled with nothing but a long string of random letters, letting you know she was fully freaking out.

Right before the end of the show, you rush back to the green room to clean up the mess of whatever is left behind, replenishing and rearranging everything that needs it. You know the crew will be coming in to collect snacks and waters before their job begins tonight, and you’ve learned to put out almost every single food item that you can, knowing that none of it will go to waste.

As you hear the encore coming to a close, you grab the four black towels waiting for you in your bag, rushing back out to side stage to hand them off to the guys. You find Paul waiting too, ready to give them encouraging back-pats of congratulations. Just like they entered, they exit the same, Jake bringing up the back as if he planned it. You’d been kind enough to hand Sam, Josh, and Danny theirs with sweet words of compliments and praise, but switched it up at the very end, tossing Jake’s towel into the air above him, forcing him to reach high and catch it in mid-air.

The sweat is pouring from his every pore, pooling on his upper lip and center of his stomach. Your mind goes to a dark place for a second, wishing you knew exactly what it would taste like if you were the one to lick it from his lips. He quickly pulls the towel across his face and stomach, finishing off by wiping the back of his neck with it. He then tosses it back in your face, and you catch the smallest breath of his scent filling your nostrils. “You can keep that, all yours,” he jokes as you pull it off your face, responding to him with a look of annoyance.

“You asshole,” you laugh, tucking the towel under your arm as you follow them all backstage. He turns around, yanking the towel back out from your grasp. You watch as he takes two ends and twists them up, wrapping the damp towel in a tight coil. Oh god, he’s not gonna…

You stop, lifting your leg and outstretching your arms in defense of your body. You just know he is about to snap it at you. “Jake, no, please don’t!” you squeal, backing away.

“Don’t worry, ‘m not gonna get you, unless you’re into that kinda thing…”

Son of a bitch, he said that fairly loudly, as you’re surrounded by his brothers, their girlfriends, the crew, your co-workers… fuck.

Your eyes widen as big as they will go as he laughs, continuing to make his way down the hall. You pick up steps again, following him in a flustered mess of confusion. “I’m gonna get Daniel, watch…”

You burst into the greenroom right behind him, the towel still tightly wound and held in his right hand. He makes his way straight for Danny, twirling the towel in the air as he approaches him.

“No, Jake! No!” Danny yells, running away and launching himself onto the couch, but not before you hear a perfectly loud snap of the towel connecting with Danny’s thigh. Danny yelps out in stinging pain as everyone else laughs, Jake taking his time to roll the towel up into his makeshift whip again. “What the fuck?!” Danny yells, trying his best to hide behind Mia. Everyone is running away from him at this point, worried they will be the next victim.

Jake makes contact with Danny’s leg again as he squeals. “That’s for not cueing me into Farewell like we practiced, you asshole!” Jake yells at Danny with a giant smile across his face.

“Leave me alone!” Danny laughs, laying all his weight onto Mia. “I forgot, okay? Fuck!” You can’t help but join in the laughter of everyone filling up the green room, watching their playful display. You feel a sudden strong warmth fill your chest, realizing you get to be a part of this, seeing it all firsthand.

Jake stops, folding the towel back into a nice neat square as he makes his way back to where you stand, handing the towel to you with both hands. “Anyway, told you you could keep this,” he reiterates as you take it from his hands, giving him another glare of petty aggravation.

“Wonderful show guys, as always!” Paul claps his hands together. “This venue has an early curfew, so get your showers and shit together, no lollygagging around, alright?” he barks, popping a pretzel into his mouth before dashing back out the door.

Sam’s the first one out the door to the showers, pulling Lyla behind him. “You guys make the afterparty plans, we’ll do whatever, we don’t care…” he yells over his shoulder as the door slams behind Lyla.

“It’s balls cold out, I know Ty’s not gonna want to go walking around in this shit. And to be honest, I don’t really want to either,” Josh says, taking a seat on the couch beside Ty. “Am I right?” he asks him.

“Yeah, fuck this cold,” Ty responds.

You try not to listen in on their conversations as you know they don’t apply to you, but you most definitely are curious to see if Jake decides to partake in their plans. You busy yourself with a giant box of various crackers to fill the time.

“Let’s just go to the hotel bar. I noticed it’s kinda secluded, not very big,” Josh suggests, earning a nod of agreement from Danny and Jake.

“Sounds good to me, make sure Dean knows,” Jake says as he pulls his drenched jacket off, hanging it on a wire hanger. Shit shit shit don’t look don’t look.

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, Y/N, you gonna join us?” Josh’s voice saying your name pulls you from your daydream of thinking about watching Jake take his jacket off again and again, causing you to perk up.

“What? Sorry…”

He laughs. “When you’re done here tonight, meet us at the hotel bar, yeah?” You watch Jake’s head snap your way out of your peripheral.

“Yeah, Y/N, join us…” Mia adds, the smallest bit of songlike quality to her voice again, just like earlier.

You push the flyaway hairs away from your face, blowing a puff of air on them as you tuck the cardboard box of crackers back into the plastic tote. “Uh, yeah, sure. If I can get everything cleaned up in time, I’ll be there…” you answer on the fly, feeling as though you can’t turn the offer down.

Jake stays silent as he picks up his backpack and heads out the door toward the showers, flashing his devious eyes at you before the door shuts behind him.

—

JAKE POV

You only had to dodge the curious eyes of a few fans as you slipped around the corners of the hotel to the bar, being the last one to arrive, like always. Josh is seated at the bar with his back to you while Danny and Sam are standing at a table off to the side with Mia and Lyla. Thankfully, the bar is empty for the most part, only a couple unsuspecting older folks closing out their tabs. You pull out the heavy mahogany chair to the right of Josh, taking a seat as the bartender approaches you.

“Hi, uh. Soda water with lime, please?” you ask, and he nods and flits away. “Where’s Ty?” you ask.

“On his way down in a few minutes. He um, he’s actually walking Y/N down…” he responds, flicking his eyes behind the two of you.

“Oh,” you respond, surprised. “Is that right?” You fold your arms across the bar top as the bartender sets your drink in front of you.

“Yeah, he actually stuck behind a little to help her clean up the green room and get everything put away,” Josh explains further.

You smile as you place your hand on his back. “You’ve got yourself a gentleman, brother. Must say.” Josh grins at your sentiment, pulling his straw between his lips.

“Most kind hearted person I know,” he says. “Speaking of, seems like you and her are on a little better terms now, since we spoke last,” Josh looks behind you again, making sure you are out of earshot from the other guys.

You huff through a breath, not sure whether or not you want to go into much detail of reliving one of the most humiliating nights of your life, thus far. But, maybe talking about it will put it in the past where it belongs. “Yeah, you could say that, I suppose. Had to fuckin’ work for it though…” you laugh through your nose.

“What does that mean?” he asks.

You swallow down a rather large drink of your soda water, running your tongue over your teeth as you contemplate an answer. “Let’s just say we… had a less than eventful night last night, and I… wasn’t able to…” you take a fast breath. “Too many beers, too many phone calls from my tech, too much bullshit from Isla, I just…” you clench your jaw, trying to say it all without really saying it.

But Josh nearly chokes on his drink. “Ex-fucking-scuse me? Wait, no no no…” he waves his hand in your face as he turns in his seat, running his fingers over his beard. “You seriously couldn’t…”

“That’s right Josh.” You stare straight ahead of you at the mirror behind the top shelf of liquors, finding your defeated reflection staring back at you. You glance at him in the mirror, watching him cover his face with both hands as he silent-laughed.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he cries after a few seconds of laughing at your expense. “It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not funny. It’s humiliating, and a little sad, actually,” you say flatly. “Go ahead, laugh away, get it out of your system.”

He slaps his palms across the bar top a few times as he catches his breath, trying not to laugh so loud that he causes a scene. “Fuck. Has that ever happened to you? What was…?”

“No, god dammit. It’s never happened. I was sloshed, my phone was ringing incessantly, between Isla’s name popping up on my phone and knowing the crew needed me, I just… she was perfect, man. Beautiful, confident, everything was there, except…”

“...Except… you,” he finishes your sentence.

“Yeah,” you respond with a breath. “It worked out for a few minutes, surprisingly, and fuck if it wasn’t…” you held up the A-OK sign with your fingers, popping a ‘p’ sound. “But then everything went to shit.”

“And that’s why you’re having soda water tonight?”

“Eh, yeah. Just feel like if we’re gonna have a chance to have a conversation about it all, I want to be completely present,” you admit. Suddenly you feel the presence of Danny standing behind the two of you, ordering another round for Sam and the girls. You turn your attention to him. “Speaking of… hey asshole, why the fuck are you still buying Durex condoms? You’re a grown man with money, for god’s sake, use the good shit,” you ask Danny quietly. “You’re not 15 anymore.”

For your sake, so far Danny has done a good job of keeping your secret for you after you went running to his room last night in search of protection, just in case.

“Jake, what the fuck are you talking about?” Danny asks with wide eyes, looking between you and Josh.

“Don’t worry Daniel, I’m already informed. The youngest of us is not, though, so keep your fuckin’ mouth shut to him, you hear?” Josh defends you.

“Jesus Christ, Jake. Listen, I don’t want to know what the fuck is going on with you and whoever, I’m not asking any questions,” Danny says as the bartender hands him their beers. He leans in closer, whispering between you and Josh. “But I haven’t used a fucking condom in almost a year. You had me digging in my reserve stash… it’s all I had, ok? Sorry if an XL wasn’t the size you needed…” Danny backs away, laughing with his tongue out.

“OH fuck you!” you howl back. “It was a piece of shit, just do yourself a favor and get the good kind, ok?” you whip your head back around as Danny rejoins the others.

“Anyway…” you say as you finish off your soda water. “It was a night I want to forget, honestly. But I’m gonna redeem myself. I have to. I can’t leave it like that…”

“Maybe you should turn your phone off the next time you get an opportunity, just in case…” Josh suggests, and you nod in return.

Just then you see a pair of arms wrapping around Josh’s neck, and you turn to see Ty and Y/N walking up behind you.

“Hey, guys!” Josh says. “Please join us…” he pulls out the seat next to him for Ty and stands to give Y/N his own seat, before she puts a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Thanks, Josh, but Paul, Wes and Corri are coming down, too. Dean’s coming, I’m gonna sit with them for a little while. Thank you for walking me down, Ty,” she flashes the three of you a warm smile, and you want to speak to her, but it's almost as if all the air has escaped from your lungs. She looks absolutely stunning, a little fixed up, but not too much. You can tell she looks as tired as you all do from the show, but you’d hardly know it. She has on a tight low-cut t-shirt dress with an oversized denim jacket over top, her hair a mess after being up all day. Her makeup had been re-done, and you’d be lying if you said the way her legs looked in that dress didn’t have you imagining things that were still a blurry memory from last night.

“I’ll be back later…” she says, making eye contact with you. Again, you’re at a loss for words, so you give her a sweet nod.

“I really like her,” Ty speaks up, filling the silence that has fallen over the three of you as soon as she’s gone. “You should dump Isla and go out with her, Jake.” The straw you had been chewing falls from your mouth and straight onto the floor.

“What? What did you say?” you ask him.

He shrugs one shoulder as he takes the seat next to Josh. “She’s cute. No bullshit, smart, and can obviously handle all the shit you guys have been throwing at her since she got here…”

You look to Josh, who seems just as surprised as you are.

“I dunno. I mean I like Isla, don’t get me wrong, but. There’s just something off about her, and I don’t know what it is,” he continues, and you feel Josh’s widening eyes find you, telling you he has no idea where this is coming from, either. Ty reaches his hand across Josh to sit on top of yours. He looks you directly in the eye before speaking again, “Jake, I have an excellent read on people. And I’ve never steered you wrong, have I?” he asks.

You slowly shake your head back and forth.

“That’s right. No. And I’m here to tell you, that girl likes you. A lot. She didn’t even have to say anything to me, and I can tell. She froze up when I mentioned your name earlier. And from all the time you spent on our couch the past couple of months, I know there’s something going on. Just know I’m here to talk about it if you feel like my partner here isn’t hearing you out, okay?”

You swallow hard as you take in Ty's words. He’s right, he's always been an excellent confidant for you, even letting you come to him a couple of times in the past for advice on different subjects. You love Ty just like you love your twin, and you never once have doubted his judge of character.

Josh nods slowly, agreeing with every harsh word Ty has just delivered to you. Ty pats your hand as he releases it.

“Take my advice, Jacob. I know Isla isn’t making you happy, and that girl…she just left your talkative ass completely unable to speak.” He smiles hard, turning his attention to the bartender, ordering a round of shots for everyone. You finally have a free second with Josh again.

“Guy knows what he’s talking about…” Josh suggests. “Maybe you should listen to him.”

You bite at your cheek as you nod your head. You know he’s right, of course he’s right. But you also know it’s just a little bit more complicated than that. The bartender slides you a fresh soda water, and as you pinch the lime between your fingers you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. You drop the lime into the bubble water and take a quick drink as you pull your phone from your coat pocket.

Y/N

11:46PM: Not drinking tonight?

You look over your shoulder knowing she is watching you, and you catch sight of her sitting at a cocktail table a couple of feet away with Wes and Corrine. Her eyes are locked on yours, a skinny straw between her teeth. You send her a playful smirk as you turn back to your phone, replying to her message.

You

11:47PM: Not tonight, I have other plans…

You look at her as you pocket your phone, watching her face twist into a mischievous smile as she turns to look at you. You shrug your shoulders and grin before turning back to continue listening to Josh and Ty. You can feel her eyes on you and you have to admit it feels good. You feel like things might actually be okay between the two of you if you can continue to play your cards right.

“So do you wanna hit up that one place with the crazy wine list when we get to France? It was in Paris Metro, right?” Josh asks, tapping your arm with his hand.

You know the exact place he is talking about, but right now your mind is somewhere else completely. “Oh, yeah yeah, it is. It was close to that tiny ass venue, remind me and I’ll look it up tomorrow on the flight.”

“Anywhere else you want to go? I think we have a day or two off while we’re there,” he asks, still trying to grab your full attention.

“Um, maybe I’ll stop in to that rarity shop, see if they have anything interesting this time around,” you answer, doing your best to focus.

“Oh shit, yeah, that’s where you got that crazy old guitar, right? From like the early 1900’s or whatever?”

“Yeah, exactly. Had to completely unstring the fucker to get it home without it snapping in two,” you laugh, remembering the hassle.

“Any…other plans while in the city of love?” he croons, bumping shoulders with Ty.

You look over your shoulder to check your surroundings before answering. You place your hand roughly on his shoulder and shake him a bit, “I guess that will depend on tonight, now won’t it?”

The two of you laugh as you notice commotion at the end of the bar. You turn yourself to look, only to find Lyla walking towards you with her phone to her ear.

“Jake?” she says, stepping up to you in a huff. She pulls the phone away from her ear and holds it out to you. “It’s Isla, she said you aren’t answering your phone, and I know I just saw you on it?”

Fucking hell Isla.

You know you have to take the call, because if you do it now, there’s no chance of it happening later. You snatch the phone from her hand, holding it to your ear and exhaling an aggravated breath. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What’s up? I don’t know, Jake. You tell me what’s up! You aren’t answering any of my texts, you turned off your location days ago, you said you’d call me and you haven’t! Tell me what is going on!” she shouts into the phone.

“Nothing is going on, Isla! I am at work, working, on tour. You know the thing that pays the bills? Also, I’m in a different country, a different time zone. But you know what, I know you aren’t stupid. You know all of this, so what’s up? What is so important that you had to call someone else to get ahold of me?”

You see Josh push past Lyla, grabbing you by the shoulders, “Hey I need you to do me a favor,” he says, pushing you backwards. You pull the phone away from your ear to hear him. He stares into your eyes, silently telling you to go with it.

“Oh, I have to go Isla, sorry. Here’s Lyla,” you say, pushing the phone back into Lyla’s hands.

Lyla is staring you down as Josh finally stops, letting go of your shoulders. “I uh, I need you to go run an errand for me. Well, I need Y/N to go run an errand for me, but I need Dean to stay here to field those girls in the lobby, so I was wondering if you could accompany her?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” you ask, admittedly very confused.

“Yeah, just walk with me,” he says, walking you over towards the tables. “I need you to go run this errand—” he pauses, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone was close enough to hear him. “Okay, yeah there is no errand.”

You send him yet another completely bewildered look.

“There’s no errand, just…I don’t know, get out of here before someone asks questions. Go. Take her with you. She already knows and she thinks there is an errand,” he smiles smugly, “You can thank me later.”

For a moment you hesitate, unsure if you should go with his harebrained idea, but you decide to do it, knowing that he really only has your best interest at heart. He pretends to show you something on his phone, and you nod like you understand. You exhale a breath and nod towards him, “Yep, I’ll take care of that for you.”

“Yeah, perfect. Make sure you do a good job,” he quips, the meaning definitely not lost on you.

You toss your hand towards him as you walk away, locking eyes with Y/N who is waiting near the door. You swallow down your nerves and make your way towards her, ready to make amends.

“You uh, ready to go?” you ask, playing along with the charade. You pull the door open and allow her to step out first into the dimly lit hallway of the hotel lobby.

“Yeah, I just… Did he tell you what he needed or anything?” she asks, a confused look on her face. You laugh to yourself and purse your lips before answering.

“Well, he doesn’t need anything. He kinda… bent the truth a bit to give us a chance to leave alone,” you answer honestly.

A hum leaves her lips, as she stops in place turning to face you, “And how do you know that I want to leave with you?”

There's a playful grin on her face, but there's also a tinge of truth to her tone. You can’t read her, but you give it your best shot.

“Well, I have a pretty good feeling about it, but please enlighten me if I am mistaken,” you answer.

She rocks back onto the heels of her shoes, turning to continue walking, “I see, are these those ‘other plans’ you were talking about?”

You bite your lips together and turn to look at her, “That remains to be seen, I suppose.”

The two of you start to approach the elevator bank, and you know you need to make your move. She hasn’t said much, or really given you any indication of whether she is into this playful little game or not, so you decide to cut your losses and leave the ball in her court.

“I’m gonna go up to my room for the night. You can come up and join me for a night cap, or you can head back to your own room. Completely your choice, but if you decide to join me, I’m in room 507,” you finish, stopping just shy of the elevators. You give her a smile and nod your head before continuing to walk to the waiting elevator.

Your heart is racing as you step inside, wondering if she is going to follow you, or better yet take you up on your offer. You press the button for floor five and watch as the doors close, a rush of nerves spreading through your body. You shake out your hands and pull your phone from your pocket seeing a myriad of missed calls and texts from Isla. You muted her notifications after everything last night, and you know that’s what prompted her call to Lyla.

You tap your keycard to the door and step inside, the cool air of the AC hitting you like a brick wall. You step over and turn on the heat, needing the room to be at least a few degrees warmer. You take all of your things out of your pockets and deposit them on the nightstand, deciding to take Josh’s advice and power off your phone completely. You toss your jacket onto the small couch, removing the hair tie from your finger and tying your hair up into a knot. You reach for a bottle of water from the mini bar, downing what had to be half of it as you start to pace the room.

You wonder if maybe she’s texted, or added a song, anything to give you some kind of indication of her answer, but you know that your phone is off and that you’re just going to have to wait this out the old fashioned way. You kick off your boots and push them to the side of your suitcase, digging around inside of it to change clothes, but deciding to wait just a little bit longer, just in case. You unbutton your shirt though, letting it hang open on your body as you step away from your suitcase.

You sit on the edge of the bed, looking at the flashing clock on the nightstand and watching as the numbers flash as they change. Fuck, maybe she really isn’t coming.

You lay back, completely spread across the fluffy white sheets letting out a sigh of exhaustion. The past two days have drained you. Mentally, physically… You felt like you could sleep for three days straight given the opportunity. You let your eyes flutter closed for just a second, and that's when you heard it. The tiniest knock on the door. Any softer and you wouldn’t have heard it, chalking it up to your brain playing tricks on you.

You sat up instantly, listening for it again, and sure enough another set of small knocks echoed through the room.

Holy shit, she came.

You shoot up from the bed, smoothing out your hair and shaking out your arms. You were nervous, you’d admit that, but you were also bound and determined to make tonight better than the last. You’d thought of nothing else, since.

—

HER POV

The sound of a little bit of rustling inside the door causes your heart to pick up speed, the sudden clarity of what you’re doing hitting you across the face. Sure, last night you’d been in a similar circumstance, but tonight…things feel different. Your second set of knocks on his door has finally jostled him.

You hear the door knob turn and Jake opens it, hiding a little bit behind it as he invites you inside.

“Hey,” he says, his voice raspy. “Didn’t think you were gonna come up.”

You walk inside the room, smelling the remnants of the cologne he spritzed on before he came down to the bar still lingering in the air. “I almost didn’t, but, I think…we need to talk about a few things…” you reply, awkwardly holding your hands together at your stomach as he closes the door behind you. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as you finally catch sight of him, his black button-down undone all the way, and his hair tied back in a low knot at his neck. Jesus Christ, he’s a sight, even when he isn’t even trying.

“Yeah, I think you’re right,” he agrees, patting the half-made bed for you to sit on. “You want a drink?” he asks, motioning to the mini fridge.

“Ah, no, I’m okay, thank you,” you reply, finally setting your purse down on the bed beside you. Things feel a bit different now as you’re both sober and serious, about to discuss something so inherently embarrassing it was almost too painful to even think about. But it has to be done, suck it up, and get it over with so that you can get on with the night…right?

“Yeah, me neither,” he agrees. You watch as he pulls a pair of sweatpants from his bag. “Care if I go change real quick?” he asks, erring on the side of etiquette for some reason, when last night you both saw more of each other than you’d really planned on.

“No, go ahead,” you say, and he slips into the bathroom. You take this second to take off your thick denim jacket and hang it on the back of a chair, and also remove your shoes and socks and place them neatly beside the door. You’re left in the comfy tight t-shirt dress, and you try to remind yourself that last night never even happened. It wasn’t real. Be cool.

You relax back on the pillows a little as you strive to get comfortable on the bed, not wanting to seem too relaxed but also be nonchalant, like this conversation was about to be the simplest thing you’d ever done. You tuck your barren legs up underneath you, leaning on your elbow against the thick white pile of pillows.

He finally emerges, now clad in a pair of dark gray sweatpants that are hugging his hips, and he’s completely devoid of a shirt at all. Before you can drink him in all the way, he’s sitting on the bed in front of you, crossing his legs and reaching for the remote, muting the TV.

You sit up to meet him, suddenly surprised at the amount of attention he’s paying you. He takes both of your hands into his, clammy but warm on your skin, and brings them to gather in his lap.

“Y/N,” he begins, “I don’t want to talk about this just as much as you probably don’t, but… I think I have some explaining to do,” he starts, his voice just a tad bit shaky as you know he is about to bare it all.

“I feel absolutely terrible about how things ended up last night. That was…not me, at all. I’d had too much to drink, and my phone was being the annoying piece of shit that it is… anyway, I’m not trying to make excuses.” He squeezes your hands and scoots himself a little closer to you, still staring directly into your eyes. “I know we’ve only known each other a few days, but. You’ve got me caught up, and…it’s not something I’m used to, Y/N,” he giggles, making you smirk back.

“Last night should have had a different outcome completely, and I blame myself for it. You can blame me for it, too. I just want you to know I’m sorry, and you were… fuck, you were beyond perfect—”

You cut him off, “You’re sure it wasn’t anything I’d done?”

“No! No no, you were fucking…flawless, Y/N. My vision may have been a bit blurry but you had it all. You have it all. Absolutely everything. And I feel like such a fucking dick that I didn’t get to…repay you. Give it back to you… you deserved more, and I’m…mortified. Humiliated over it. I wanted to dig a hole and cover myself up and never ever come out of it, honestly. I still do. It’s like the worst thing that can— anyway, you deserve to be treated right, you deserve to be shown the same kind of effort you were showing me last night…” you feel his hand come up to caress your cheek, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip.

You lean a little into his hand, the feeling of his touch making you flutter with butterflies. “…And I haven’t thought of another goddamn thing since.”

You giggle a little. “Come on now,” you say shyly. “You’re a famous rock star, there’s no way your mind’s been taken up with me all day. I’m probably the lowest on your list of past flings.” You’re honest in your admission of feelings, but you secretly hope it will just fuel him to keep talking.

“No, think again, Y/N.” His voice suddenly deepens. “That’s absolutely untrue.” His fingertips trickle to the back of your neck. “The way your hips felt in my hands, the way you took over control and put matters into your own hands…fuck. And your mouth…” his thumb is pressing a little harder, now. “Yeah, I haven’t had a clean thought all day, if we’re being honest,” he laughs. You pull one hand away from his grip and place it on his knee, squeezing it just a little as your bodies slowly inch closer and closer in toward one another.

“I’ve never met another woman that’s captivated me so quickly before,” he continues, his breaths now shorter and chopped as he speaks. “You came in and fucked my whole world up, Y/N… You make me feel things I haven’t felt in years. You make me nervous…”

Your faces are within inches now as you return his gaze, listening to him talk. Your hand drifts higher on his thigh, gently squeezing at the muscle as it climbs. His hand is still firmly gripping your face, the ends of his fingertips now tickling at your hairline. You can feel the tingles going up and down your spine like flashing lights, each word that escapes from his mouth setting the next one on fire.

Finally you speak. “Look, Jake, you don’t have to explain anything else to me. I realize that something was off last night, and that isn’t how things probably go for you normally. I’ve felt our chemistry, and there’s something…there, ya know? And honestly there for a few minutes, we actually had things going, and I think we had it figured out. You felt…” you bite your lips together, feeling a little shy. “You felt really fucking good. But I don’t want you to be embarrassed or upset with yourself. We’re adults, and I’m aware that shit happens. Not every time can be perfect. You were still on my mind all day long, today. Been hoping you would text me, something,” you go on, feeling his fingertips grip and release your hair every few seconds.

A sly smile creeps to his lips as you watch his eyes squint. He looks relieved, but there’s also something else. “I hope you know that I’m more than capable of…making you feel good, and I’d really like it if you’d give me a second chance to redeem myself. I wanna prove it to you.”

You can do nothing but nod your head, feeling the magnetism of his pull bringing you forward, both of your chests heaving with want for each other now. You’re absolutely dying to touch him, reach out and feel the electricity radiating from his body, but you stop yourself. You’re going to let him make the first move.

You exhale onto him, letting the thick, hot air from your lungs dance across his lips as he releases your other hand, letting it come up to cup your other cheek. Your foreheads balance on one another’s, and you can feel the palpable tension building up second by second.

“Thank you, for hearing me out,” he whispers onto your lips, before gently pressing them onto yours, an almost featherlight peck. You both pull back for a second, taking a final look at one another before you crash into each other’s mouths again, heated, fiery, and wanting.

Your other hand grips his thigh, and you’re almost unable to stop yourself from pouncing on him, laying him back into the sheets and devouring him, but you hold back. You want to take your time, and you know he wants to do this the right way.

The kiss deepens, your tongues reaching far to taste every bit that they can. His hands slowly drift from your jawline to your shoulders and finally to your chest, lightly letting his fingertips descend before resting again on your hips. You’re both still sitting cross-legged on the bed, your knees touching each other’s as you each lean in. You want to make the next move, but again, you want to let him steer this ship as much as he wants to.

So for the moment, you let yourself enjoy his kiss, concentrating and honing in on committing every detail of it to your memory. He’s not forceful, but he doesn’t hold back, either. It’s the perfect mix of control and submission, and you haven’t even moved past the most basic part yet. His hands move again, sneaking under your legs to pull you up onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist as you sit on his lap.

Your chests are pressed together now, heaving and already breathless. You can feel that he’s excited below you; thankfully things are already going way better than they were last night. You continue to devour one another, touching and feeling and pulling every piece of him that you could, and him doing the same in return. A quick visual pops into your mind- you’d worn a skimpy little red lace thong just in case, and now you’re silently thanking yourself for the choice, knowing that when the time comes, he’s going to go absolutely insane at the sight of you in it.

You take a second to pull away, grinding yourself down onto him as you trail lovebites down his neck and shoulder, and the sounds that growl from his chest make your nails dig into his skin. He hisses a little bit, but you’re more than positive that he likes the sensation. His hands grip your hips, pulling you down onto him again, making you take complete notice that he wants you just as badly. He leans his neck sideways as your tongue drifts from his collarbone up his jugular, the artery pulsing hard beneath your lips. You bite it lightly before continuing up to his ear, gently taking his ear lobe between your teeth.

You feel him pull back and laugh a little through his nose, and you’re sure you’ve found a sensitive spot. You grind yourself onto him again, this time pulling a full on groan from him. You leave your mouth hovering over his ear, blowing tiny bits of cold air onto the trail of saliva you’d left behind.

“I feel you, baby…” you whisper, allowing yourself the satisfaction of using a pet name for the very first time. His body language shifts, all his muscles tightening as you speak. “Wanna feel you more…” you mutter quietly, making his dick twitch between your legs. You could feel your warmth on the bulge of his sweatpants, and you secretly wish he would get on with it.

“You wanna do this…” he whispers back, his voice tight and gravely.

You nod hard, completely positive that you were going to go ahead with this second chance. “Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t…”

Finally, he reaches down to grip your thighs, squeezing his palms over them before gripping the hem of your dress, rolling it up over your hips, your chest, and finally over your head. Your arms fly up to help him remove the dress completely before he lets it fall to the floor beside you. His eyes black out with lust, his jaw falling open at the sight of you only in your bra and panties. He saw you like this last night, of course, but things are different now. Each of you has something to prove.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous…” he says, immediately burying his face between your breasts, rolling his tongue just beneath the thin fabric of your black bra. “Who knew you had all this hiding…” His hands reach up and grip the material, pulling it down to reveal your tits, bouncing and standing at attention for him. His hands waste no time rolling across them, kneading the muscle as your head falls back. His fingers massage your nipples and pull at the skin, sending a jolt of electricity straight to your core. God, you swear you could get off just from this…

He puts his right hand at the center of your sternum, pressing you back gently until you’re laid out on the bed. He scrambles to his knees, finally hovering over you a little. He lets his fingers glide from your chest down your stomach, finally hooking in the hem of your thong. He doesn’t pull it off, though… Instead he runs his fingers along the hem, around your hip, and to your asscheek, using his leverage and grip on the muscle to yank you back down toward him.

Your knee bends on its own from the motion, causing your legs to part a little as your core hits his knee. He bends down, laying sweet kisses to your stomach and hips, causing you to buck up and whine with every tiny little touch.

“Please Jake…” you think you might go insane if he doesn’t touch you soon, your core absolutely throbbing with want for him. Last night, you felt these same feelings. You felt this pull to him, this need. But after how it all went down, sitting there on your bed staring at the wall was the only reaction that seemed plausible… no post-sex afterglow, no blissful body aches… just an unsatisfied and discouraged feeling of letdown.

But now, twenty-four hours later, as you feel your body being pulled into him and touched by him again, you want nothing more than to replicate those few minutes of really good sex that you’d been able to achieve last night. Your body was practically begging you to let him have it.

You hear the air kick on in the room, and though you know it’s the heat, you still feel the blow of the fan forcing air across your nearly nude body. You feel chill bumps cover your entire body as you shudder a little.

“Fuck, got cold in here, didn’t it,” Jake breathes, shivering a little bit himself. “Come on, let’s get under the covers.” You don’t argue with him, feeling a chill diving down deep into your bones.

You sit up as he stands, pulling the heavy white linens back for you to get under. “Wait,” you say, walking on your knees back toward him. You hook your thumbs into the waistband of his pants, returning to kissing him hard as you pull them and his boxers all the way off. He smiles onto your lips, falling sideways a little as he trips over them around his ankles. His arms wrap around you, pulling you in for a tight embrace as your hands tangle in his hair, gripping into it as you pull him back down onto the bed with you.

You both slide underneath and cozy up, letting the warmth come over you and calm you back down again. It’s the sight of him, though, crawling into the bed with his eyes trained on you, fully nude with his bottom lip tucked into his teeth that sends you over the edge. Suddenly your chest is heavy and your eyes are glazed with lust, that blinding feeling of carnal need setting into your lower abdomen. You don’t feel this feeling much, but when you do, you know that what you’re about to experience will be nothing short of mind blowing…it’s like the universe knows you need to let go of all human emotion if you’re going to let your body experience the interaction just as it is.

Suddenly you find yourself flipped up and straddling his legs, pulling the comforter over your head as you descend down his body. “Whoa whoa, where you going?” he smirks, his smile crooked as his hands balance by his head.

“You can prove the rest to me in a minute. I never got to finish this part last night…” you say, disappearing into the darkness of the covers. You hear his laugh fall out as an exasperated huff, but he knows better than to stop you. You put your fingertips on the insides of his thighs, pushing them away from one another as you lightly tickle your nails up them, stopping short as you take his fully-hard dick in your palm, slowly working it from bottom to top.

“Thereeeee you are…” you sing in a teasing tone. Fuck yeah, there he is. This is what you felt that night in the bathroom. This is the him that wasn’t out to play last night.

“Shut the fuck up,” you hear him laugh lowly, gently patting a hand against your cheek. You can’t see him, but you know the exact expression that’s probably on his face right now.

You squeeze him as you work your hand, gently letting your lips graze his head as you stick your tongue out a little, barely wetting the tip. You taste his saltiness on your tongue, a tell-tale sign that he is absolutely ready for whatever else the night has to bring. You let the flavor sit on your tongue for a second before you take him down completely, knowing that if he has any memory of you doing this last night, it was probably spotty, at best.

“Fuck, baby…shit…” he says from the head of the bed, his thighs clenching together a little as his hands dip under the blankets to tangle in your hair. You begin to go to work, feeling halfway happy you are hiding away, able to perform without his watchful eye, but also a little sad he isn’t getting to see the show you’re putting on for him.

Like he can hear your thoughts, he speaks again, “What, you not gonna let me watch you?” He asks with a little demand in his tone, pushing the sheets up over your head to finally make eye contact. You decide to capitalize on it, fluttering your eyelashes as you take him as far as he can go, letting his tip graze the back of your throat. If he wants to watch, you’re going to give him something worth watching.

His reaction is warranted as you see him lose composure for a second, letting his head tilt back into the pillows as his jaw falls open and he lets out a cry that will be playing in the back of your mind until you fall asleep tonight. His hand tightens in your hair while the other one scoops up what has fallen in front of your face, moving it away from your mouth. His teeth grit hard as his hand pulls your hair, lifting you off and back down onto him just a little bit.

Your imagination starts to soar; it’s been a while since you’ve had a good romp, and after the letdown of last night and Jake promising to give you a good run tonight, you decide to keep the show rolling. You pop your lips off of him letting him drop your hair, spinning yourself around backwards to straddle him that way. Again, you thank yourself for the everything shower and shave this morning, knowing that now, the thin strip of red lace fabric is the only thing covering you as your ass is fully on display in front of his face.

Is it an invitation? Kind of…he said he wants to show off for you…right?

“God damn, girl…” he says through another rasp, his hand gripping your asscheek as you take him in your mouth again. You sway your hips side to side, arching your back to give him a full view of you. You feel the slightest tinge of embarrassment at your somewhat bold switch up, but after feeling his reaction and the actual pounding of the blood pumping through his dick, you know it’s all worth it.

Finally, after a string of curses from his mouth behind you, you feel his fingers slip under the thong, pulling it to the side as his fingers begin to explore you. First soft and gentle, but then switching to more of a rhythm as he feels how soaked you are. You moan onto his dick, letting your stomach fall into his as you lean back into his touch.

“Fuck, you’re so wet baby, just like last night. Gonna take care of you, I swear it…” he grumbles. His thumb finds your clit after pulling your wetness down to coat it, his digits slipping and sliding as he uses more pressure.

You whimper loudly without warning, the fire burning in your belly finding you more quickly than you’d anticipated.

You pop your mouth off of him for a breath, and he takes the second of separation to grab both of your hips, pulling you backward toward him. His tongue swipes once from your clit to your opening before he slides himself underneath you in one quick motion, pulling you down to be completely seated on his face.

Oh, there we go…

Should you do it? Should you go all in?

You only have a few seconds to toss it over in your mind before his hands are wrapped around your thighs, pulling you down onto him even more. Yeah, he wants you to. His mouth is immediately connected to you, his tongue outstretched and licking over you as your hands balance on his stomach. “Fuuuuccckk…” you whine at a high-pitched tone, letting your head tilt back on your shoulders.

He’s wasting nothing at all. No time, no contact, no area of you goes untouched by his mouth. You begin swirling your hips, picking up a little every few seconds as you grind onto his tongue. It’s hot, but you still feel the chill of the air in the room, causing you to break out in another rush of goosebumps from the air and the pleasure. You catch a small glimpse of the two of you in the hotel room mirror, the visual more than you can bear as his tongue flicks across your sensitive bud again.

“Jake…shit…if you keep doing that…” your nails dig into his pecs again as you begin to feel your knees burning, your hips swirling and bouncing as he holds you steadily connected with his mouth. Even when you try to pull off to give him a breather, he pats your thighs with his fingertips, telling you to come back down.

“Mmmhm…” he agrees, shaking his face against you, the slight prickle of his mustache a blissful roughness on your sensitive spots. “Lemme have it, baby…” he works out, bending one knee up to sturdy himself. You can hear the pants of breath he’s taking as he talks before yanking your body weight right back down onto him again.

Your vision is beginning to blur as you feel the tightness forming in your stomach, every inch of you on fire as you feel the release building and building. Your movements become chopped and faulty, and just as you’re about to lose all composure, Jake grips the back elastic of your thong, letting the stretchy material snap back against your skin. The tinge of pain sends you toppling over the edge, your entire body shaking and trembling as everything goes white. He continues his work, his tongue still snaking and swirling in the most animalistic way, letting you ride through it until you’re back on earth.

When you’re finally able to breathe again, you lean forward onto all fours so he can sit up all the way, and instead of crashing back down beside him, all you want to do is give him more. Let him give you more. That was just a preview. Now…you want him. You need to feel him inside of you again.

You turn in the bed, catching sight of his face covered in your slick…his lips pink and blotchy as he runs his hands across his face. You inch your way back over to him, using your own palm to wipe from his forehead down to his chin, twisting your fingers over his chin to bring his face crashing onto yours again. You let your tongue sink into his mouth, tasting yourself as you kiss him with everything you have.

Your hands are all over each other as he takes you in one arm, pulling you back underneath the covers with him again. “I can’t fuckin’ wait any longer, Y/N…I need you right the fuck now.”

You’re lying beneath him now, still riding the high of your overwhelmingly good orgasm, but quickly making your way back up to arousal again with the sight of him so wanting for you. His state is almost pathetic, the look on his face pitiful but commanding as his jaw clenches over and over again.

Your hands are attached to his sides as he reaches into the floor for his pants from earlier, pulling out a little square package. You notice it’s a different kind than the one he had last night, and you’re thankful he’s switched brands.

“Hurry, Jake…” you say, your heart pounding in your ears. You watch as he rips the wrapper in half with his teeth, removing the colored condom and spitting the trash onto the floor. He’s sat back on his haunches and you perk up onto your elbows, using one hand to help him slide it over himself, completely hard and ready for you.

You feel like you could spontaneously combust at any second, the need for him stronger than anything you’ve felt in a long, long time. The way he looks sitting between your parted knees, adoring every inch of you as he swallows down any inhibition or doubt that he’s still holding onto from the embarrassment of last night.

He takes a second more to place his hands on your knees, letting them drift down between your legs as he connects his two middle fingers to swirl your clit again. Your legs part even further as he kisses you again, finally towering over you completely before removing his hand, grabbing himself and lining up with you.

“Show me again…” you whisper into his ear, his hair completely falling all over your face. It’s mere seconds before you feel him gently press into you, only an inch or two before retracting his hips, letting out a calming exhale before he presses forward again, this time a little further. The stretch is blowing your mind already, your nails traveling down his back to grip his ass, willing him to fill you to the hilt.

“Easy, baby…just take it as I give it to you,” he growls in your ear, and his commanding words make you cease your movements altogether, releasing your strong grip on his back.

“No no…keep doing that, though…fuck, keep doing that…” he begs, touching his forehead to yours. His brows are pinched together, his tongue darting out to lick his lips every few seconds as his eyelids flutter open and closed. You do as he says, digging your nails into him as he thrusts slowly, each time a little further in.

The sensation is overwhelming, taking away every single one of your senses and directing them toward what he is making you feel right now. The noises you already can’t stop yourself from making are bouncing off the walls as you look behind him, watching his hips move the covers as he fills you, over and over until he finally bottoms out.

“God…fuck, Jake….” You both make pathetic sounds as he pauses there, letting himself feel you wholly. He pulls up, taking a rutted breath as he makes desperate eye contact with you. You grab the back of his neck and pull him into another kiss, eliciting a high pitched wail from him as he starts picking up a pace.

He breaks away after a second or two, “‘m not gonna go easy on you, baby…let me know if I need to slow down…” his words rip through your chest as if you’d just gotten a shot to the heart. You shake your head side to side.

“Lemme see it, come on…” you pant, already feeling your muscles doing their best to pull him in as far as your body will let him.

He picks up the pace now, jutting his hips deeply into you. The feeling is making your head feel cloudy and dense, but the pleasure filling your bloodstream is the only thing keeping you tethered to the here and now. He pauses, sitting up a little to toss your leg over his shoulder, slowing down just a little bit as he hits from a different angle. This one is deeper and titled a little, and you can feel the tip of him grazing your cervix with every push.

He can tell your facial expression has changed as he slows down again, almost to a complete stop. “What baby, you okay?” he asks.

“No no, yeah, don’t stop…please…” you motion with your hand for him to continue, the sickening pleasure mixed with the tightening pain, a blissful concoction that is hard to admit you love. But you do. You love it all.

His pace becomes furious again as he picks up where he left off, your leg draped over his shoulder as he has one hand over your knee, and the other gripping into the muscle of your thigh. He’s squeezing so hard, and his hips are pounding at such a forceful pace that you’re sure he is leaving bruises, but they’ll be bruises that you accept without argument, admiring them as you look in the mirror tomorrow.

He’s everything, right now…his eyes delving deep into yours as you drink him in, letting your sounds let him know how good he’s making you feel. How perfect you fit, how much better this is going than it did last night…

Suddenly he pulls all the way out of you, lifting your body to flip onto your stomach. His hands are under your hips, pulling them back again just the same as he had done earlier, but this time he hops to the floor, pulling you back again to meet him on the edge. “Hold on, baby,” he instructs, and you do, gripping the sheets tightly in your fists as you feel him enter you from behind, this time.

The height couldn’t be more perfect as this new position makes you drop your face to the mattress, fully surrendering yourself to him. You haven’t felt anything like him before, each and every move he makes is making your nerve endings burn with fire.

He lays a harsh smack to your ass, and you grunt in rebuttal, letting the delicious pain surge through your muscle. His pace quickens again, and his hand is on the back of your neck, pinning his fingers to either side of your throat from behind. “Fuck yes…” you breathe out, your eyes beginning to fill with clouds.

You hear the smack of his lips, knowing that he’d just wet his finger, and suddenly his other hand quickly finds your clit again, swirling tiny circles on it and sending you into a whole new wave of satisfaction. Your cries push out with every thrust, and you feel like you’re on the verge of tears. It’s all overwhelming and encompasses your every thought, the sounds of your bodies hitting together making it all even more devious when you close your eyes, imagining the scene.

He continues this way for a minute or so, the sounds of your bodies smacking together building up your second orgasm on their own.

Then, he’s pulling your torso up, your back meeting his chest as he slows the pace of his thrusts, but never letting up on the swirl of his fingers. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…so perfect…” his words are calm now as he begins kissing your neck, still pumping in and out of you. His arm wraps around your front, pulling you back into him so you don’t collapse forward. He can tell you’re close.

“Jake…I’m almost…” you breathe, and you feel his dick twitch inside you.

“Me too, baby. Keep squeezing me just like that…” he asks as a whisper in your ear, his mouth still connected to your neck, his other hand gripping your tit.

With a particularly pointed flick to your clit, and a deep thrust, your entire world is crumbling beneath you, your body falling to pieces as you let it all go. His fingers squeeze your nipple hard, sending that sensation into overdrive. He isn’t far behind as his grip tightens all over you, his pace now rutted and messy as you hear him groaning in your ear. The entire world goes quiet for a minute as you hit the peak of your highs together, rendering both of you speechless as you hold your breath.

“Motherfucker…” he says as he finally comes back down, releasing you to fall forward onto the bed. All of your muscles are limp and lifeless as he collapses beside you, both of you too sweaty now to care about cuddling back up together.

“Yeah, mother fucker,” you laugh, pulling away a few strands of hair from his sweaty forehead and cheek. “That’s was…you were…” you open your mouth to find the words, but they simply don’t come.

He props up on his elbows, kissing a sweet peck onto your shoulder. “I don’t know what you were going to say, but I agree…” he chuckles. “You’re near goddamn perfect, Y/N.”

“Near?! What do you mean, near?!” you joke, shoving his mouth off of your shoulder.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Fuckin’ amazing, is what I meant. Flawless in every single way,” he says, his cheeks turning the sweetest shade of crimson.

You take turns in the bathroom cleaning up, and you can’t wipe the smile that’s permanently plastered to your face. He’d done it all, he’d proven himself to you, in the most mind-blowing way you could have dreamt up. You don’t want to admit it, but you can see yourself getting caught up by Jake just as he admitted he is caught up by you. And after sex like that, well…

You begin to pick up your things from the floor and redress just as he is coming out of the bathroom. “No no, where are you going?” he asks, his tone a little let down.

“I’m…going back to my room…” you say, caught off guard.

“No. Stay here, please? After that I– I don’t know, I don’t want you to go,” he says. “Please stay.”

You laugh, tossing your shoes back into the corner. “You sure? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?”

He scoffs. “The fuck would I get in trouble for?”

“I’m your employee, Jake…” you remind him.

His face contorts up. “I don’t like how that sounds, remember.” He reaches into his bag and pulls out a large white t-shirt, tossing it your way. You pull it over your head as he flips the light off, pulling the disheveled sheets back again for you both to climb into. You have to admit, you’re glad he asked you to stay, as you’re not sure if your tired muscles would have liked walking down the long hall to the elevator.

He pulls you in to spoon him, turning on the TV to the guide channel. His body feels perfectly aligned with yours as his hand rests on the outside of your thigh, the other propping his head up above yours.

“You’re a woman that I’ve taken a keen interest in, and am enjoying pursuing, and well, occasionally sleeping with every now and then. Who sometimes goes on errands for us,” he says in retaliation, making you giggle.

“…and your company also signs my paychecks,” you retort.

He hisses in a quick breath. “Ehhhh yeah, I guess you’re right. But just, I don’t like how it sounds. So quit saying it like that.” He leans down and presses a wet kiss to your cheek, sealing in his words.

“Okay, okay,” you agree.

After a few minutes, he speaks again through a yawn. “So, did I prove myself? Was my attempt at redemption enough to make you forget last night ever even happened?” he asks.

You close your eyes as you press your ass into his groin again, making him hop back a little in surprise. “Jake, I told myself last night never even happened as soon as you left my room,” you admit, and you are telling the truth. “I knew there was no way…”

You hear him huff a tiny laugh, “You had some faith in me, baby?”

Your blood runs a little hotter every time he calls you baby, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t completely enamor you.

You twist your body beneath his hand to lay on your back. You fluff the pillow beneath your head, feeling his free hand move to assist you in finding the perfect position. His right hand doesn’t leave your body though, sliding just under the hem of your shirt to rest on your bare stomach. “Maybe just a little.”

JAKE POV

Her skin is warm beneath your hand, her body still cooling down after the activities of the last hour. It was perfect. Every single thing you ever wanted it to be and even a little more. She is perfect. Your heart nearly jumped out of your chest when you saw her grabbing her things, there was no way you could let her leave this room thinking that this was just sex. I mean, yeah maybe that was your intention tonight, but there was something else. You know that the sex wouldn’t have been what it was if there wasn’t something more lying beneath the surface. You wanted her to stay here with you. You wanted to hold her and be with her and enjoy the afterglow.

Even in the dark room you can’t take your eyes off of her. The way the TV is flashing blue light across her face she almost looks angelic. You let your fingers trace tiny circles into her skin as you look at her, completely enamored with every single detail of her. You reach for the remote flipping through the channels looking for anything you could mindlessly fall asleep to.

“Should I pick something and show you what a good movie looks like?” you tease, tickling your fingers into her stomach.

“I know what good movies are, thank you very much,” she quips, turning her head to look at you. Her eyes are shiny as they look into yours, lingering for just a second before flicking back to the TV.

Her hand reaches up to cradle your jaw, your face falling into her touch on its own accord.

“Hey…” she whispers, waiting for you to look at her. “Tell me why you were so in your head yesterday.”

Fuck. Do you tell her? Do you tell her the real reason? Do you risk ruining this moment with the truth?

“Ahh…It was a lot of things. Tour, traveling, the drinking, obviously. Also just a lot of pressure to do this and do that…or, don’t do this, and don’t do that. It’s hard sometimes, living this lifestyle. It’s incredibly isolating, and after a while you almost start to lose touch with what’s real,” you answer, skirting around the real reason.

She rolls to face you, not letting her hand leave your jaw as she presses a soft, delicate kiss to your lips. You feel your whole body relax into her, feeling a peace come over you that you haven’t felt in a long time. A kiss that told you she understands.

“I’m here, and this is real and you don’t have to feel isolated anymore, if you don’t want to,” she breathes.

You kiss her again, pulling her into you just a little closer. “I don’t want to.”

“Good,” she whispers, her lips brushing yours.

She drops her hand and nuzzles her face into your neck, a soft sigh falling from her lips. You know she’s tired, because you’re tired. You let your own head fall back onto the pillows, your arm wrapped around her shoulders as she snuggles into your side. You can’t help but let Josh’s words from yesterday float through your mind. You wonder if what you are doing is wrong, if you should make sure Isla knows you two are done before pursuing Y/N any further. Though, it’s a little too late for that.

You push it away as you feel Y/N drifting off to sleep on your chest, but now your mind is racing and you need to quiet it. You reach over, grabbing your phone from the nightstand and powering it back on. You’re immediately met with about ten missed calls and too many texts to count. You quickly open them, clearing out the notifications but paying no mind to what they say. Instead you open your shared playlist, the perfect song coming to mind.

You sneakily add ‘Are You Satisfied?’ by Reignwolf to the playlist, knowing she will get a laugh out of that when she sees it. You turn your face to her head, letting your lips brush the crown of her head as you breathe her in. The feeling of her next to you and her deep rhythmic breathing is starting to slow your busy mind. You lock your phone and place it back on the nightstand, turning off the TV and letting your eyes close. You replay the night in your head, every perfect second of it, praying that it will make an appearance in your dreams tonight.

—

You aren’t sure what woke you, maybe the heat of the room, or the slamming of the door in the hallway. Your eyes pop open, scratchy and dry as they adjust to the darkness of the room. You immediately feel Y/N next to you, no longer on your chest but her legs still tangled with yours. Your heart swells at the vision of her curled up in the bed next to you.

You reach out for your phone, tapping the screen to see what time it is. 4:46AM.

You see that a new song has been added to your shared playlist, and you smile knowing that Y/N must have woken up sometime during the night and saw your addition. You tap the notification and bring up the playlist to see what she added, letting a small laugh leave your lips as it loads. ‘Whatta Man’ by Salt-n-Pepa was added two hours ago. She’s so fucking cute you could hardly stand it. You had half a mind to wake her up and show her all over again just how much you wanted her.

However, when you close out of the playlist a new round of missed calls graces your screen, along with a seemingly endless string of texts from Isla. You let out a sigh as you tap the message icon to see what she could possibly need this badly.

Opening the messages you see a link to Danny’s close friends story sent at nearly one in the morning. You furrow your brow and tap on the video, seeing Sam and Lyla taking tequila shots together, but of course in the background of the video just barely noticeable, is you leaving the bar with Y/N.

Goddamnit Daniel.

Isla

1:12AM: Who the fuck that girl Jake?

Isla

1:25AM: She’s cute, nice!

Isla

1:30AM: Is this why you’ve been so “busy” all the sudden?

Isla

1:41AM: Does she even know about us or is she just some whore you found while you’re there

Isla

1:52AM: Nevermind! It was almost too easy to find her profile, this her? Y/N?

Isla

1:55AM: Oh my god, she works for you…

Isla

1:56AM: Management is gonna love this. ❤️

Isla

1:58AM: How about you just call me tomorrow

Mother fucker. Motherfucker.

You debate getting out of bed to call her right now. You know how she is and you know what she is capable of, and you’d be goddamned if that woman was going to ruin this for you. You start to type, the fury boiling in your veins as your thumbs swipe across the keyboard, but suddenly you feel Y/N stirring next to you and it’s as if all the rage you were holding in disappeared. She rolls towards you, her hand coming to rest on your arm as she snuggles her head down into the pillow. You felt yourself relax under her touch, and instantly the message on your screen didn’t seem to matter. You deleted everything you typed and closed out of it, placing your phone back on the nightstand.

You looked at her, sleeping so peacefully next to you and decided that all of that could wait. You knew that it would only be a matter of time before Isla made her move, and when she did she would strike to kill. You grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her into you, feeling her fit so perfectly, so naturally into your arms that it made you weak.

You knew there was a chance that this night, this one night, may be all you get with her, and you were going to enjoy every single last second of it, knowing that morning would come, and with it a likely very nasty conversation between you and Isla. But more than that, it brought the promise that Y/N’s face would be the first thing you would see, and that alone had you closing your eyes ready to face another day.

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yeostars · 2 days

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ᝰ.ᐟ꩜ Down bad, but at what cost?

ʬʬ yeostars 2024™

•pairing- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ kang yeosang x y/n •genre- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ angst.ᐟ fluff.ᐟ a few bits of slice of life here and there. •synopsis- kang yeosang. your sworn academic rival, your enemy, your nemesis. he's got everything: from outstanding looks, that smart sexy brain of his, and....a perfect personality. well, is it actually perfect? Yeosang, the perfect kang yeosang, who appears to be the politest, nicest, most well mannered gentleman on the outside....what does he hide behind that facade of his? And why does he only show his true colours to you, his sworn enemy? And why.... god forbid why, do you have to fall for him? you, y/n, not anything less than him; you're just as a perfect role model student and an academic topper like him. Together, you would make the perfect "power couple" a title the entire school has given to the both of you. But it's never supposed to be anything like that. You're not supposed to get involved with yeosang in such a way.... he's your rival, and that's it. To hell with this growing attraction towards your rival, but what if, just what if....yeosang feels the same towards you.. You're down bad for kang yeosang.....but at what cost? •warnings- mentions of family conflict, nothing more except for angst/conflicts in some parts. •author's note- I've alwaysss wanted to write a enemies/rivals to lovers story featuring yeosang aka my bias, and seems like I got hold of the perfect plot in mind for the same. To my fellow enemies to lovers enthusiasts and yeodongies, this one is for y'all. !! In one of the ending scenes, there's inspo taken from the English translation of the song lyrics "Kaise Hua" :) pls ignore the typos, i don't proofread and i just realised, while reviewing this fic after posting that i made quite a few typos at the end, sorry for thatt 😭😭 Notes, reblogs, comments, follows & shares are always immensely appreciated <3. Enjoy reading ❤️

Amidst the soft rustling of the pages and the gentle hum of the ceiling fans, you peeked out of the nearby glass window, suddenly admiring how pretty the trees and clouds looked like. You could've sworn today was a good day indeed. You continued skimming through your mathematics textbook and grabbed your pen to note down a formula you had a hard time understanding the concept of.

And ofcourse, to make your day worse (or better, but you would never admit that) he had to step into the library. Just the perfect timing to get blessed by your presence, kang yeosang.

So much to ask for a normal, peaceful day..

You didn't even look up to see him, or perhaps even acknowledge his presence, when he sat opposite your direction, just a few chairs away. You didn't need to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he was your friend, that was your sworn enemy, your academic rival.

He quietly sat down, placing his designer school bag at a chair alongside the one where he was sitting, and placed a textbook on the table, flipping a few pages. Okay, maybe you were staring at him, but he didn't need to know that. You had the ability to stare at someone without them knowing that you were staring at them. That's what you've done all this time, to have a long, good, piercing stare at yeosang, and notice just everything about him. ... without him knowing that you're so interested in him and everything he does.

You didn't know why the tension in the room suddenly seemed...... intense. It was all good a few minutes ago, when you were peacefully studying alone. It's peaceful now, too, ofcourse. Yeosang was, by no means, a loud person. The only noise in the room was that of the ceiling fans, and the soft rustle of the book pages. Just like before.

But now, you were alone in the library halls with your rival. Nothing serious, right? You could get your studying done in a few and leave. No biggie. There was no need to get nervous around him.

But the problem was, that well, you did feel nervous around him. So nervous that your hands started sweating and your grip on the pen you were holding, tightened. And he-kang yeosang, probably doesn't give a single shit. Why would he? He's here to get studying done like you, too, nothing else.

You clicked your tongue, repeatedly clicking your pen without even realising it, as you continued to just stare at the formula you just noted down in your notebook.

Why was it so hard to understand this one? You tried to wrap your head around this formula for quite a few minutes, now, even after yeosang joined you in the library. And you still couldn't understand how to apply this formula in the sum you were supposed to solve. Saying that you were losing your mind right now was a understatement. Maybe you should've paid more attention during maths lecture, but even if you did, you knew that there was still a possibility that you would have a hard time with it.

Because, really, mathematics just wasn't your cup of tea.

"What could possibly be a subject that has you loosing your absolute shit, y/n?" You heard a voice, loud and clear, and you almost wished you didn't have the ability to hear.

Because you knew where this was going.

"Ah, ofcourse - it's mathematics. The only subject that my beloved rival can't beat me in." Yeosang said, chuckling softly.

You raised your head, now making direct eye contact him, and ofcourse, he had his usual smirk plastered on that perfect freaking face.

He looked.....just as perfect as always. You hated to admit it but yeosang was definitely the most good-looking guy you had ever seen in your life. A "literal greek god" "a living statue" were the names given to him by the entire school- and you couldn't disagree.

He raised an eyebrow as you realised that you were mindlessly staring at the collar of his shirt, and your cheeks immediately flushed, as you moved your gaze back to your books.

"S-shut up, yeosang." You replied. Those two words, "shut up" are probably the only words that you say to yeosang. And it has him smirking even wider, every time.

"Aw, c'mon, I bet you need my help with whatever sum you're stuck with, right there." He said, trying to get a better look at your notebook from where he was sitting. But it didn't help much because he was kinda far away from you.

He was correct, you did need his help. Kang yeosang, the straight A's student in every subject including mathematics, your weakest spot. You got A's in mathematics, too, but not always. The "B" grade on your result sheet alongside mathamatics was getting quite common in the past years, and it never failed to ruin you.

But you weren't going to take his help. No, never. You would walk a thousand miles at the doorstep of your cranky mathamatics professor and ask for his help, but asking Yeosang for helping you? Not possible. You both never asked the latter for any help in a subject before. If yeosang did help you in solving your doubt, it would definitely be the first time he's ever helped you. You would get to know how your rival grasps a particular concept and how he tutors someone.... and you were dying to know this.

"I AM struggling with a concept here, but I don't need your help. I'm sure I'll get it soon if I connect some dots." You replied, almost talking to yourself. Liar. This shitty formula was getting over your head and there was no way you'd understand it by yourself now.

Yeosang scowled, suddenly got up from his seat and walked towards you. Your heartbeat, your stupid heartbeat quickened, as he stood alongside where you were sitting, resting his hand against your textbook. After a quick glance at your books, he looked at you.

"Don't tell me you're struggling with THIS formula. It was literally just taught to us, like last week." He said, and the fact that he was so close to you right now, his words made even more impact. Stupid, stupid girl. He was right. You should'nt be struggling with a formula that was just recently taught to you.

Everyone has their own weaknesses, right? Maths was yours, obviously. But it was bitter to admit that in front of kang yeosang, the so called mathamatics genius.

"So what? If you're just gonna tease me on this, leave. I'll ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, he'll explain me better than you will." You replied coldly, a small pout forming on your lips, as you still stared at the books in front of you, not daring to look at yeosang.

"Well, good for you, I'm here instead. Perhaps i could waste a few minutes of mine teaching you this." He said, smirking yet again.

"I TOLD you I will ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, no thanks-"

"So are you stuck on how to use this formula in this sum or you didn't even get the basic understanding of this formula?" Yeosang asked, not even letting you finish your sentence, as he pulled out the chair alongside yours and sat besides you.

Well, you guess, you didn't really have a choice now.

"I just don't get how you apply this formula to a sum, like this example, stated right here...." You said, pointing towards a section in your textbook. Yeosang leaned in closer, listening to you carefully, and you could've sworn your heart was about to burst right then and there. He was leaning in to get a better look at your textbook and not leaning TOWARDS YOU, y/n. Get that inside your head.

"Hmm. Got it. So basically, you...." Yeosang started, and somehow, his voice was gentler as he started explaining the concept to you. It always baffled you how yeosang maintained his two-faced personality. Not in a negative way, really. But that was just one of the many things you noticed about him.

He always acted so polite, so gentle, so kind and appeared so well mannered with everyone. You never even saw him teasing someone playfully. He acted so unlike all the other rowdy boys in your school....It was like he somehow has some reputation to uphold.

And here, with you, the same kang yeosang that appeared as the kindest, most innocent soul- never missed an opportunity to tease you. The unending smirks plastered on his face on your every interaction with him, the unending banters on every possible topic, the unending teasing when you got even ONE mark less than him on a test, the unending playfulness whenever he was with you.

You don't even know when it all started, the fact that yeosang treated you differently. You weren't even sure if that was his true personality. You wanted to very badly, believe that it was. It had to be, right? Somehow it felt like he revealed his true colours to you, every time you guys shared a moment together.

"And that's how you do it. Common, solve a sum in front of me. I want to see if you understood what I just explained." He said, and you brought yourself back to reality. Oh, right. The freaking formula. So bossy, you thought. Why did you have to solve the sum in his presence? It wasn't like this was a test or that he was your tutor.

You complied, regardless, because well, he surely did help you for this one. You picked up your pen and started solving the sum according to that formula, all while yeosang had his gaze fixated on you solving the sum.

Fuck, if he's gonna stare at me like that, I might as well go to square one wherein i didn't understand a single thing.

You were nervous about making even a single mistake or appearing dumb in front of him. You continued solving, his explanation ringing in your head and voilà, you reached the conclusion. YOU SOLVED THE FREAKING SUM AND UNDERSTOOD THAT FORMULA!!!

You gaped at the notebook in front of you, not believing that you actually did it. You looked at yeosang and couldn't help but notice the small smile playing on his lips, almost as if he's proud.

"Thanks a lot....yeosang. That saved me lots of headaches, to be honest." He really was your lifesaver that day.

"Anytime. If rivals don't help each other, then who will?" He said, a genuine smile on his face. Witnessing that smile made your heart flutter. Damn, he looked good when he was genuinely smiling. He also looked hot when he's smirked every time. Fuck, he looked attractive all the time, and you should NOT be acknowledging or admitting that fact.

"Did you.....just replace friends with rivals in that phrase?" You said, laughing. You couldn't believe this man.

"Yeah, so what? We're rivals, after all, aren't we?" Yeosang replied, amused by the fact that he made you laugh.

"That's true. Think about it, this might be the very first time I've ever thanked you for something...you haven't really done something that's worth me thanking you." You said, and suddenly the air between the both of you felt.... lighter. Free of some sort of tension that was always there between the both of you. It was almost as if the both of you were friends, instead of rivals, having your casual banters..

"well, be grateful for that, i guess? You owe me one for today, by the way." He said, his tone a little manipulative. Well, here we're back to the original kang yeosang, you thought.

"Sure, if you need some sorta help regarding science, hit me up, although I doubt you that you will." You said, and immediately regretted the last words.

You basically admitted that you think he's a genius.

"And why do you think I won't need your help in science? That's the only subject that you're.....kinda....good at. And better than me, I guess." He admitted, sheepishly running his palms across the back of his neck.

"Yeah well, just because. If you do need some help with that though, don't hesitate to ask me, I'd be happy to teach my...rival. to return your favour, ofcourse." You said, closing all your books and packing then in your bag. Yeosang hummed at your words, getting up and returning to his original seat, as he tried to get back at what he was studying, not questioning the fact that you were already leaving.

You spared him one last glance as you exited the library, scrolling through your phone, totally not trying to think about how today's events with yeosang had your stomach swooning.

Another boring day at school. Currently, it was the third lecture and the history professor was late.....yet again. As you spinned the pen on your hand mindlessly, you thought about what menu would be served at the cafeteria today. Yesterday, it was something you didn't quite like much. You kept manifesting in your mind that they serve your favourite, katsu curry today.

Your boredom and mindless spacing came to an halt as the class intercom cackled to life. The usual "mic check" continued for the first few seconds, and all the students of your class suddenly stopped what they were doing, only to listen to the announcement that was to be made.

You straightened up, and didn't really bother listening unless you heard your name being called out on the intercom speakers. your name. along with kang yeosang's name. the actual hell?!?!

"Dear students, attention please. This is urgent. Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately. I repeat, Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately."

You opened your eyes wide, and you almost didn't believe your ears and the announcement, until you saw all your classmates staring at you....and yeosang, curious gazes and gossips spreading everywhere. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, and cocked your head back to the seats behind to see yeosang, who seemed just as confused as you were.

He met your eyes, as you both shared a bewildered look together. As he rose from his seat, agonizingly slowly, you did the same, following him outside your classroom.

"Surely I didn't do anything that's worth getting detention? Have you, y/n?" Yeosang asked, as casually as possible. As if the fact that the both of them were called together, alone, to the main halls was nothing surprising to him.

And here, you were trying to catch your breath, thinking of all possibilities as to WHY you, along with yeosang- your academic rival of all people, were called together, an announcement that was heard by the entire school.

"Ofcourse i didn't. For your information, I'm a role model student, and didn't even receive a single scolding by any teachers in my entire life- let alone a detention." You huffed, cursing mentally at yeosang for even thinking of you doing something worth of getting detention.

"So am i, smartass. Well then, since we're both the goodie two shoes, WHAT possibly could've been so urgent that they called the both of us...together?" Yeosang asked, sparing you a quick glance as the both of you continued to walk side by side, on your way to the main hall.

"How in the world would i know? I'm just as clueless as you. Why would they even need the both of us at the same time?" You asked, shrugging. At the shrug, you kinda gave off the impression that you didn't like....all this. The fact that you were summoned along with your dear rival. But that wasn't true in the slightest. More than anything, you craved to be together with yeosang, you treasured each moment you were together, nowadays. Even though it wasn't often.

You tend to ignore asking yourself, why do you even feel this way. Perhaps since the both of you aren't really together all the time, except for insulting each other, your playful banters and teasing from time to time, you actually looked forward to just...being with him. Being in his presence. Him giving you attention. Even though it was literally just him teasing the hell outta you and giving you the cold shoulder sometimes (you did too).

Maybe, just maybe, yeosang felt the same- enjoying all the time you both spent together, even though it wasn't much. Why would he even tease you in the first place if he didn't? You remember, something your mum used to say during your childhood: the people who tease you, and pretend to hate you, actually like you, because they want your attention.

Oh, how badly you wanted to believe your mom's words.

"Are you getting inside the lift or...?" Yeosang said, pressing a button to widen the lift doors as they were just about to close. You snapped out of your overthinking, your overthinking about the fact that every single word you say or the action that you do- affects yeosang- kang yeosang in some way.

"Oh, shoot. Sorry." You said sheepishly, getting alongside Yeosang in the lift.

As you both reached the main hall, you were greeted by your school's vice principal and your homeroom teacher, almost as if waiting for the both of you to arrive. As you and yeosang bowed down to greet them, they exchanged quick glances with each other, and then led the both of you near the tables at the far away corner of the hall.

The vice principal sat down in one of the chairs, and your homeroom teacher stood alongside the both of you.

"So. I know this might seem surprising because we called the both of you together, but trust me, this isn't anything serious or negative. So stop with those nervous glances because you both are the best disciplined students of our grade, and you know it." Your homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung, assured the both of you, as relief spread through your veins. You could even feel yeosang sighing in relief besides you.

"Mr. Jung, why were the both of us called here, then...?" You asked, your tone inquisitive.

"I'll let you know the reason, students." Said your vice principal, Mrs. Park. All three of you shifted your attention and gazes towards her as she started speaking.

"As you both are already aware, our school has decided to redesign the uniforms for the entire school, ranging from all grades. And well, we got to have our first glance at the finalized, redesigned uniforms last week, and they look amazing. We decided to choose you, y/n, and yeosang, as the models for our new school uniform photoshoot. Basically, you both have to wear and promote the redesigned uniforms and pose together for a little shoot. That's it."

Your hands immediately cupped your mouth, and your eyes widened not believing that you were chosen as a MODEL for your school. ALONG with your rival.

Yeosang let out a soft chuckle, and you realised that he was laughing at your shocked expression.

"May I know why you chose the both of us as models....and not someone else?" Yeosang inquired, now appearing quite bewildered at the situation of being chosen as a model himself.

The both of us. Not just him. He really asked why they chose the both of you as models.

"Ah, well, I won't say that the fact that both of you are the top students not only on academics but also as general role model students didn't tempt me to choose the both of you, but what can I say... you both have extremely good looks. And good body proportions. That's why I thought that the the both of you were the most ideal students for the shoot." Mrs. Park said, a small, appreciative smile on her face.

You blushed immediately at her words. The fact that the VICE PRINCIPAL just admitted that you have extremely good looks and good body proportions... you felt like you were on cloud nine.

"Thank you, ma'am" The both of you said, yes, you actually said "thank you" at the same time with yeosang.

"The pleasure's all mine." She said.

"Well then, the shoot was actually going to take place tomorrow but the photographer checked in with us, and said that today was a ideal day to get the shoot done, as long the models are ready. What do you both think? We'll provide you with the new school uniforms so you can get changed into them and get some light makeup done." Mr. Jung said, quite enthusiastically. Your teacher, your teacher who is probably 35 years older than you, acted quite cute sometimes.

TODAY. PHOTOSHOOT. YEOSANG. WHAT??

As you tried to register the fact that the photoshoot was taking place TODAY, and the fact that you were chosen as a model with yeosang.....

"Also, don't worry about missing the lectures. Like, at all. We'll let all the teachers know that the both of you are occupied with this schedule today." Mr. Jung added, catching the slight expression of worry on your faces.

"Oh, okay. T-thats great. Thank you, Mr. Jung. I think I'm ready to get the shoot done today." You replied, mustering up all your courage. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Why would you, even? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hell, you couldn't even believe that there would be a photoshoot of you and yeosang together. Just the both of you. You felt like you were dreaming, for real.

After your response, yeosang also assured the both of them, saying that he was also ready for the shoot taking place today.

well, of course you are ready, kang yeosang. you wouldn't imagine any other response from him, like him saying no for the photoshoot with you. You had some pride of your own, and you'd protect it...

You stepped into the small makeup room backstage of the main hall, immediately walking towards the giant body mirror to check yourself and your new school uniform out. Damn, the new uniform sure did look better than the current uniform that you were wearing. It seemed like a levelled-up version of your school uniform; it consisted of a tailored navy blazer with gold patterns along the edges, adding an overall touch of elegance. Beneath the blazer, you wore a neat, ironed white collared shirt, and a navy blue skirt tucked the shirt perfectly. A notable feature was the gold emblem of your school icon, printed at the edge of your skirt and on the socks you were wearing. Your shiny black boots added a classic touch to your outfit. You looked quite sophisticated and youthful, the exact concept you were going for the photoshoot.

As you sat down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror, a lady, already waiting for your arrival in the room, asked you about which hairstyle you would like to get done. You requested her to do something neat yet mildly fancy, keeping your hair open. As she was working on your hair, the door opened wider, and Yeosang stepped in, looking..... even better than usual. Just when you thought this guy couldn't look any more attractive than he already is.....

You noticed that he was wearing a navy blue blazer just like yours, his crisp, white ironed shirt pleated and tucked in his perfectly ironed trousers. And of course, his hair was styled just right. like always. You hated to admit it but he looked more handsome than usual...

You noticed every single detail of his appearance in less than a few seconds. Hell, who would want their rival to know that they're checking them out?

After checking himself out in the mirror, his hand never left the pocket of his trousers, even as he sat down on a chair alongside yours. Arrogant as always, you thought. But he immediately removed that hand as another lady entered the room, asking Yeosang about his hairstyle. He looked so polite while explaining to her what exactly he wanted, you thought that he just wanted to piss you off half of the time. And then go back to his gentlemanly appearance when you both weren't alone. what a guy.

You were a little too bothered about the fact that yeosang was seated right besides you. and the fact that you were pretty close to each other. AND the fact that you both could see each other in the side mirror in front of you.

And guess what? You did. Just as you looked up in the mirror to check the progress of your hairstyle, you noticed that Yeosang was also checking himself out. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and you could have sworn he smirked a little as he checked you out for a second. You immediately looked away, but you could feel it in your bones, the fact that Yeosang didn't look away like you did. His gaze was burning, burning holes into your skin. You felt exposed in some manner. God, he was literally just staring at you and that made you loose your absolute shit.

Very soon, you both were done with your final look for the photoshoot. You were thankful that it didn't take any longer, or else you were just a shot away from calling in sick for the photoshoot. Yeosang staring at you was to be blamed for that.

As you both entered the room designated for your school uniform photoshoot, you stepped aside for a minute to call your mom and let her know about this precious opportunity. You were quite surprised when she said that she already knew that you were chosen for the photoshoot... even before than you came to know about it. She asked you to do well and pose some pretty poses with yeosang, and murmured a soft "hwaiting" as you thanked her and ended the call.

As you stepped into the middle of the room, where you were supposed to be seated alongside yeosang on the giant sofa and standing alongside him for the other. The photographer greeted the both of you and instructed a few poses. You carefully listened to his recommendations, and so did yeosang; adjusting his posture. This moment suddenly felt surreal to you. You tilted your head slightly and glanced at yeosang, and you would have never believed before if someone told you that you were gonna do a photoshoot together.

But here you were, the bright ceiling lights flashing over you, your beloved rival standing right beside you. You snapped out of your thoughts and gasped internally when yeosang shifted closer towards you. Well, it's not like he did that by his own will. The photographer insisted you shift closer to him, too, and you awkwardly did, and now your shoulders were brushing together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. You glanced up at him for a second and realised how you were almost the same height as him. So, if he were to hug you from behind, his head would be touching yours. WHAT??? CHOI Y/N, SNAP OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW.

He stared right back at you, and it felt like the world around you had disappeared.... just the both of you in your own little bubble, exchanges of gazes filled with tension and lust and whatnot. As rivals, of course, you were competing in this aspect too- competing of who was going to look away first, because neither of you was backing down from this. The photographer let out a whistle and the both of you broke your eye contact, your gazes now directly at the camera. You could feel his flushed face besides yours...

The photoshoot progressed smoothly, and the photographer was quite pleased with the results. For the very last pose as the photo shoot came to an end, the photographer insisted that you place your elbow against Yeosang's shoulder, adding that it would make you look powerful. You hesitated for a second as you turned your head to look at Yeosang, staring at that gorgeous Adam's apple down his throat. Fuck, was he actually feeling nervous? Just like you? The arrogant, teasing, playful, confident Kang Yeosang that you knew, felt nervous around you for the first time....

You quickly placed your elbow against yeosang's shoulder, as he leaned down a little to support your movement, and you felt your heart beat impeccably faster. Then, both of you fixated your fierce and confident gazes towards the camera, as the bright flash passed your eyes and all the people present in the room started applauding, praising the both of you. That was when you realised, how you and Yeosang were the pride of your school, how you were chosen for this photoshoot together. How the entire school regarded you as the "power duo" or the "power couple", and how that never failed to get you blushing uncontrollably. You wondered how Yeosang felt about that, about al this. Did it affect him just as much as it did to you?

You caught your breath that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as you shifted away from Yeosang, a little breathless. It wasn't like you both had kissed, goddammit, that it has to affect every cell in your body when he was even an inch close to you.

You cracked your knuckles, meeting Yeosang's eyes yet again, as he passed you a small smile. Of course, the smile had to be replaced by a smirk in less than a second because he was with you, after all. He walked closer to you, extending his hand towards you.

"Good job today, rival. I hate to admit it, but i guess we both had quite the.... chemistry, during the photo shoot. Which is UNEXPECTED, since it's the both of us. But yeah, all this today was....nice. Hope we can tolerate each other just like this in the future."

You huffed, passing him the same smile he had flashed you earlier, and gently shook his hand. electricity. you felt yourself shiver internally as your hand touched his. You wanted to pull back but just for an extra second, you felt Yeosang not letting go. As he pulled back, though- your palm still lingered with his touch.

"Good job to you too, rival. I can't believe that we just spent almost an hour together, without not insulting or teasing each other. I guess, we got along well today, too." You teased. Yeosang let out a sarcastic laugh, as the both of you parted ways, an eventful day coming to an..end.

Your photoshoot today with Yeosang sure as hell was going to be imprinted in your mind, your body, and your soul. The atmosphere filled with tension, the never-ending shared glances towards each other filled with lust and dare you say, desire, marked a new chapter into whatever your relationship was. The universe was almost begging the both of you to acknowledge the attraction both of you had towards each other.

Every day, Song Jia always had to be the one pushing your buttons. That girl, your best friend, ALWAYS had to make you more delusional than you already were. Half of the time, even though you knew you where physically attracted to yeosang (even you couldn't deny that) you felt like Jia helped you bring your fantasies come to life. For instance , she always left you alone whenever she saw yeosang making his way towards you- either for teasing you or insulting you, something like that. Your jaw almost fell open when you saw that girl run at the speed of light after passing you a smirk, telling you to go "shoot your shot"

And you didn't know if you wanted to thank her and hug her for that or kick her ass for that....

Like always, she had her arm linked around yours, the both of you staring at the photoshoot pictures with yeosang, that your homeroom teacher mailed you. You both were making your way to the music room, and that girl just would'nt stop hitting your arm with their other hand, grinning cheekily after literally gluing her eyes to your phone screen, observing every little detail.

"Damn y/n, this has the be the biggest shot you've ever shooted in your life.. You get what I mean, right? Can you even imagine that you'd have official photoshoots, with your dear rival that you're secretly head over heels for?!" She said, smirking a little.

"C'mon now, don't put it like that. I'm not head over heels for him. Just a little.... attracted, to him, I guess. Still not a fan of that arrogant ass of his, though." You huffed.

And she practically SQUEALED, no exaggeration, after seeing the very last photoshoot picture, your elbow resting on yeosang's shoulder, your gazes looking quite fierceful and confident towards the camera. You couldn't help but blush, smiling at how perfect that picture was.

"Attagirl!!! That's my y/n. Look at how you both are literally the POWER COUPLE of the school. Start dating already, you know." She said, and slapped her arm lightly, as she let out a fake "owww"

You were walking on the large staircase leading you to the fourth floor, where the music room was. You slipped your phone inside your skirt pocket, your arm still linked with Jia's.

As you were walking further downstairs, you spotted a familiar head ahead you. You could recognise that guy anywhere, no matter what angle of his was facing you.

Kang yeosang, holding up his phone, quite concentrated on whatever he was seeing on his phone screen, while making his way downstairs as well.

Suddenly, a red haired girl bumped into yeosang from behind. Quite a painful bump, you thought, but then you noticed that she was about to have an awful fall down the stairs if she didn't pull herself together.

Ofcourse, she didn't fall. Not really. How would she, when a gentleman in the form of yeosang, was there?

It was as if yeosang's reflexes clicked in, he immediately wrapped his strong arms around that redhead's back, steadying her and preventing her from falling. He didn't let go, his arms still on her shoulder as that girl turned behind to look at him, an apologetic and embarrassed look on her face.

And obviously, concern and worry had to be spread on your rivals face, as he seemed to be inquiring her if she was alright, his voice as polite and calm and sweet, a voice you would have never expected him to pull off if he was talking to you. And his arms were still on her shoulder. You glared at that arm so strongly, it was as if holes would have burned on his skin.

They seemed to be chatting for a good few minutes, passing smiles and chatting with each other. All this time, you seemed to be froze in your place, right while standing halfway through the stairs. And Jia, ofcourse, was still with you, glancing at you and biting her lips, passing you and apologetic look, knowing how witnessing this made you feel.

An obvious pang of jealousy coursed through your veins, as you witnessed the scene unfold after you. You glared at the both of them, not just yeosang, with such intensity, if someone would have looked at you, they would've thought you were gonna pick up a fight for sure.

What even was this feeling? Jealousy? Seriously, you never felt jealous of or for anyone in your life before....and you were obviously feeling jealous..for whom? Yeosang? Your rival? You narrowed your eyes down towards the floor and sighed, pulling Jia along with you, as you marched towards the music room.

During the entire music lecture, you couldn't concentrate on anything going on in the class. It was as if you were sorting your feelings out, and waves of embarrassment and confusion washed over you. You were a foolish, stupid girl. Say, what right did you even have, to feel jealous ? You weren't even dating yeosang or anything, hell, you were his sworn rival. Who feels this way towards their rival? No one. Only you.

To make things even worse, you were out here, imagining what it would be like if you were in that redheads place. What it would be like if it was you who was almost about to fall, and how your heart would've belated out of your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin when yeosang would have wrapped those strong arms around you, asking if you were okay in that sweet, polite voice.

Maybe, you wanted yeosang to treat you that way too. By no means, were you his close friend or anything, but sometimes you wished that he treated you that gently, too.

You wondered how it would be like to get THE kang yeosang worrying about you and giving you all his attention, passing you soft and gentle smiles of reassurance.

And yet, you knew this was never going to happen. Snap out of your thoughts, stupid girl.

The music lecture continued and ended in no time, as the bittersweet realization about your true feelings about yeosang washed over you, and how utterly foolish you were to fall so hard, so deep for your rival, out of all people.

You remember the first time you found Kang Yeosang attractive. The first time you realised that you, y/n, found your sworn academic rival physically attractive. And also the first time you realised how utterly stupid you were, how you were going to regret all this because yeosang, on the other hand, probably didn't even give a shit about you except for the times he liked to push your buttons and piss you off.

It was during the inter-school debate competition that took place a few months ago. You and Yeosang had been chosen as partners, as a duo, as your school's representatives for the battle. That was actually the first time and the longest time you two had been together, in each other's company. You were not really panicking about being in yeosang's company at that time, because back then you weren't actually attracted to him like you were, in the present. More than anything, you were a little pissed, a little bothered, and quite nervous about having your rival as your partner. You knew you would have to get along with him during the competition and that if you exposed your stupidity for even a second or messed things up, Yeosang would sure as hell tease you and blame everything negative on you.

So, the trickiest part about the competition was that it was an on-the-spot debate battle. This meant that you could try and prepare all you wanted with your partner, but it wouldn't really be of any good because the topics were to be chosen on the spot, and you were supposed to give the fiercest debate against your opponent on the spot along with your partner. But you weren't really worrying about this much. Because both you and yeosang were the most stubborn people to exist on earth, with words so sharp and powerful, just like that of an accomplished lawyer. Once you both even opened your mouth to refute, your opponent would beg the judges to put an end to the debate and announce you both as the winners. And that's what had actually happened, but not exactly:

The debate had been going pretty well, you and yeosang actually tolerated each other for once and in fact, were working very well together. Every time you added a new point to the topic, Yeosang supported it with additions of his own and acted as your back support. You did the same for him, of course. Your opponents were flustered with how good both of you were and how powerful your arguments were, they almost gave up and you both could sense it, by the way their arguments became so weak at the end. Just when the both of you were going to win the final debate (you had already won the semi-finals with flying colors), something infuriating had to happen, that acted as a barrier to you both winning the final match.

The atmosphere shifted perceptibly as the principal of the opposing school was seen having a hushed, yet visibly intense, conversation with one of the judges. The judge's responses and reactions to you and yeosang appeared unusually reserved, suddenly cheering for the opposing team when they hadn't before, all this time. You and yeosang, of course, noticed this change and were equally confused.

As the final rebuttal concluded, you glanced at yeosang seated beside you, studying every feature and expression on his face at that moment: his jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he practically glared every time the principal of the opposing team spoke with the judges. His eyes, which usually appeared all lively and soft and polite, were now narrowed into slits of sheer anger. His nostrils flared slightly and his lips narrowed into a thin line, both his hands turned into fists, supporting his chin as they rested on the table. As you caught this rare, unguarded display of emotion from your rival, an unexpected surge of attraction bubbled within you. This had to be the worst time possible for you to be feeling physically attracted to your rival, and of course, you were also very pissed off at the ongoing situation.

You just couldn't help but find him hot, during that time. You had never even batted an eye against yeosang before and here you were, deeply simping for the guy beside you. You wondered, how turned on you would be, if it was you that did something to piss yeosang off, and if he pinned you against the wall and kissed yo-

You could slap yourself in your face for such thoughts. The judges finally announced the results, favouring the opposing team and the audience suddenly felt pity for your team, passing murmurs in disbelief. Yeosang's face stiffened, as he turned to face you, his anger clearly visible. Throughout the debate, he had subtly steered the tougher questions towards himself, (even when he didn't need to) shielding you from the more aggressive tactics of your opponents. You felt your heart flutter at such moments, admiring and feeling gratitude towards yeosang despite him being your rival in reality.

You passed him a soft smile of reassurance, despite you feeling defeated and equally pissed inside.

"We know that we were the better team today, Yeosang. I know we should have won the finals. Well, nothing much we can do now, is it?" You said, your small smile turning into that of a self pity smile.

"I know. I-Its just not fair, y/n. I feel more angered rather than defeated right now- i don't want to give up, even if the results are announced." Yeosang replied, his expression returning to normal after chatting with you.

"I don't want to give up too, you know. If we decide to speak up right now, would anyone even believe us? And what if the judges actually found Sarah and Kyungsoo's debate better than ours? We can't be sure about that." You said, sighing deeply. Yeosang sighed along with you, looking as if the storm within him hadn't resolved.

Yet, he chose to do whatever you were willing to do: which was, just accepting the results. You both had won second place anyway, and you were satisfied with that. You both didn't really talk about the debate competition after that day. But you both had let each other know, that day, that you were proud of yourselves and each other for doing your best in that debate.

Something changed that day, about your relationship, your dynamics with Yeosang. It was after that day you noticed yeosang showing his true colors to you, the way he clearly loosened up when he was with you, the way he playfully teased and insulted you, it was something he didn't do before. You like to think of that period as the one where you started getting closer to him, something beyond your mere rivals or enemies dynamic.

The library was bathed with soft glow of the moonlight, air heavy with the scent of old books. Just as you tossed the keys from the drawer of the main table and put it in your pocket, you remembered that you weren't the only one present in the library at this time.

Instead of heading for the main door to leave, you chose to head inside and obviously, caught sight of a man slumped up on the table, his hands folded, supporting his head as he slept or atleast, pretended to sleep.

It was none other than your rival, Yeosang. You've been noticing this since the past few days. Yeosang would stay late, at hours after 8 pm, into the library and just would'nt go home. Even today, you turned around and glanced at the huge clock and checked the time even on your smartwatch. 8.05 pm.

That was your cue to leave, after seeing the time and when the clock striked 8.00 pm because it was too late to stay outside home. And yeosang should also be heading home and do whatever he wanted to do at his home instead of the library. You were appointed as the co-manager of the library and had to lock the gates up as you left. You had figured that the librarian had possibly given yeosang and extra key to lock up and leave, since otherwise you were the only one who had access to the keys.

You were about to leave, but you weren't going to ignore this today. You approached yeosang cautiously.

"Yeosang." You called out, your voice firm.

He didn't wake up to acknowledge you. You called out again, this time mentioning his full name.

"Kang Yeosang." You said, your voice now louder and firmer.

Yeosang looked up at you now, exhaustion etched into his features. You could tell that he wasn't really sleeping but well, wanted to sleep.

"What?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you, looking at you as if you had disturbed his precious quality sleep.

"What are you still doing here? It's pretty late. Head home or something, dude." You said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"None of your business, y/n. I'll go when I want to." He deadpanned, his posture still a little bent as if he was going back to sleep on the desk yet again and waiting for you to leave.

"It is my business, actually. Look- I'm not trying to sound worried or something, but I've noticed since the past 3 days you're staying at such ungodly hours at the library and won't head home, when you're supposed to. If you didn't already know, I'm the co-manager of this library and have to lock the gates up. And for that, I need you to leave." You said, folding your arms, waiting for his next rebuttal.

"Don't worry about all that. I- the librarian gave me an extra set of keys so I'll lock the gates and everything carefully before I leave. You're free to go home." He said, his expression quite flustered now, upon hearing that you've been noticing his peculiar behaviour since the past few days.

"And what excuse did you give to the librarian? I bet she questioned you for asking for those extra set of keys." You inquired, leaning against one of the book shelves now, still maintaing eye contact with yeosang across the room.

"Uhh, I just told her that there's some...distraction at my house. Like, a really loud atmosphere that's not ideal for me to study." He said, despite knowing that you weren't buying this shit and straightened his position, sitting properly on his chair.

"Seriously, Yeosang? Do you mind telling me why are you even staying so late here? Did you parents disown you or kick you out, something?" You asked, letting out a laugh in disbelief.

"....which i suspect isn't true, because of course, you're the star of your family, your parents only child that can do no wrong and is their only pride." You continued, after noticing that Yeosang didn't reply just yet.

He let out a deep sigh, breaking eye contact with you. "Listen, why do you even care? Are you up for listening to my pity party story?" Yeosang said, staring outside the window.

"Why do I care? I don't know, I just thought we were atleast friends now? And ofcourse, I'm up for listening to you, I'm kinda bored anyways." You replied, still staring at him.

Just before yeosang could open his mouth to say something, you dashed to where he was, and pulled up a chair right besides him and sat there. It wasn't too close to him, but just close enough to listen properly to him, indicating that you genuinely wanted to hear him out.

"Well, I don't know where to start." He said, facing you. You stared right into those deep brown eyes, almost like pools of warm melted chocolate, glistening under the faint moonlight coming from the windows. Of course, his long, dark lashes above those mesmerizing orbs were even prettier, drawing you impossibly closer to him. Every time he opened his mouth to spoke, you noticed every feature of his face and were astonished every time: his well defined jawline, those high cheekbones, straight nose, those sharp collarbones revealed just slightly from his plain white shirt, and that perfectly symmetrical face.

It was unfair to be this freaking handsome, you thought. Yeosang would be flourishing if he decided to be a model. What was even lacking in this guy? Perfect body proportions, perfect face, perfect personality, perfect grades, and that smart sexy brain of his. And this perfect guy aka your rival was talking with you right now. Insane, you thought.

"Just, start anywhere. I'm willing to listen, you know." You assured him.

"For the main idea, it's my parents. Just some major issues with them." He said, sighing once again.

"What kind of issues?" You asked, your eyes now softening. It felt like he was opening to you and you wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.

"They just, you know, want and expect and force me to become a doctor. Follow their footsteps. And it's clearly not what I want." Yeosang said, sounding frustrated.

You understood how frustrating this must be. By the next year, you both being the name age, were supposed to choose your majors and study accordingly to pursue your degree. And ofcourse this decision is crucial because it will determine you career. And if yeosang is having issues regarding this with his parents... it's pretty serious.

"They clearly know that's not what I want and still choose to push my buttons. I want to be a mathematician. My undying love for maths, just, even you know it, don't you, y/n?" He continued, locking his eyes with yours.

"Ah, definitely. I know better than anyone how much you love Math. And all this time, while i was curious as to which career you would choose, i definitely thought it's something related to maths. It had to be." You said , passing him a small smile. He reciprocated your smile after hearing your words.

You continued to listen intently to Yeosang as he poured out his frustration in your conversation. You tried your best to relate with him and comfort him. There won't be any other chance where I'll get to listen to yeosang's concerns and comfort him, you thought, so I better make the most out of this.

"So, what now? I understand that you're still having disagreements with them on this topic, but I'm sure they're very worried about you staying so late outside, you know. You should head home earlier from today, and, i don't know, talk to them. Properly this time. You can't keep running away." You replied, hesitating to do what you were about to do next, but you did it anyways. You placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would comfort him. You felt like you had the right to do atleast that much, after how yeosang ranted about his family conflict to you and how you patiently listened to him.

You could feel yeosang stiffening a little under your touch for just a second, before he relaxed and held onto the same hand that was on his shoulder with his, rubbing soft circles on your hand.

You felt like your heart was about to burst, right now. Every cell of your body had to be so immensely affected whenever Kang Yeosang did something as subtle as holding your hand and rubbing circles on it.

"Thank you for today, y/n. Seriously. It felt so.... different from our usual encounters. You know, were either teasing or insulting each other half of the time. This was...great. I guess we can consider each other as frenemies now? We're still rivals though, mind you." He said, chuckling lightly. You felt your heart melt at that chuckle. This, is exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted him to soften up a little when he was with you.

You lightly let go of his hand still holding yours, or else you were sure you were going to melt right then and there. You passed him a small smile and were about to say something, but Yeosang interrupted you.

"Ah, and also, do you know that Wooyoung and Jia are apparently dating now?" He said, looking at you.

You suddenly froze at his words. WHAT THE HELL????

"WHAT??? I mean, how, when? I knew Jia had a crush on Wooyoung since like forever and she told me all about it. I had NO IDEA that they were dating, though. And she DIDN'T TELL ME. Since when are they dating?" You asked, looking quite pissed. You couldn't believe that you were hearing about your best friend dating for the first time from your rival instead of her.

"Uhm, like since a week, maybe? Why do you sound so surprised tho? I thought you already knew, didn't Jia tell you?" Yeosang said, trying to hold back his laughter at your pissed face.

"No, she didn't. I am going to end her for that. And let me guess, Wooyoung already told you?" You asked. Wooyoung was Yeosang's best friend. They were always seen together and were really close.

"Yeah, he did. Pretty ironic, isn't it? Both our best friends are dating each other." Yeosang said, finding this situation pretty amusing. You did, too, to be honest.

"I know, right. The next time we all hang out together, we're gonna be third wheeling the both of them and that's gonna suck big time." You replied, sighing, but feeling happy for your best friend at the same time.

"No kidding. I'm gonna smack wooyoung in the face if they do anything cringe in front of me." He said, and the both of you laughed together.

"Anyways. Get home before 9 atleast, will you? I'm heading home now, it's pretty late." You announced, getting a hold of your bag in the chair alongside you.

"I will. And sorry for stalling you for so long. Are you sure you'll be home safe? I can drop you home, if you'd like." Yeosang said, concern etched in his voice.

"No, it's fine. I live near the block anyways. And I have a feeling you want to sort some things out. I'll be going then, bye." You said , passing him a small wave. He waved back, watching you leave.

It was so immensely surprising, even to yourself, when you think about all your interactions with yeosang nowadays. He's supposed to be your rival, which of course he still is, but it doesn't seem much like it nowadays. It's almost like you two are friends, seriously. And the thought scares you. It kinda scares you that you two are becoming friends now. You're afraid that all the times he's bothered you, teased you, playfully insulted you, would soon come to an end....it probably won't, right? And you don't want yeosang to treat you how he treats others: so soft, so polite, so calm, so well mannered, just, so perfect. Except for wooyoung, ofcourse: he's almost always kicking him and what not. You didn't like to admit this, but you liked with how your dynamics as supposed "rivals" was like.

You would never give up on the look on his face, when you flashed your paper wherein you got even a mark higher than him on a test. Or the times he'd insult your studying skills. Or the times when you would bother each other for every little thing. It was like, you had no one else to share such a relationship with, and although you would have to face your feelings very soon and admit that you like your rival in a romantic way, you still don't want your unique and playful banters to end.

Just as you were about to turn your phone off and go to sleep, a notification at the top of your screen bar distracted you. And it's from Jia, of course.

Before you could even confront Jia about her dating wooyoung, she herself texted you that day itself (when yeosang told you about the news at the library) and even video called you for the same, your ears almost tearing up with her excited squeals and screams every time she talked about wooyoung. But you were happy for her. Immensely happy for your best friend. You hoped wooyoung would keep her happy and that their relationship lasts long. At the same time, you kept dreaming about how wonderful it would be like, if you got into a relationship.

But you knew you weren't getting into a relationship any soon. You didn't even have a crush on anyone at the present.....oh wait, that's a lie.

How were you even supposed to date someone, when the beloved kang yeosang existed? How were you supposed to push your romantic feelings for your rival, or even get over your crush on him in the mere future, and date someone else?

At this point, you just wished you could date him. No. Wait, what?

You sighed and clicked on the notification of Jia's messages and opened her chat.

Jia😈🤍

Yo, are you free tomorrow? Since it's the weekend, anyways

You

Mhm, yes, i think. Why do u ask tho? Shouldn't u be spending the weekends with your precious boyfriend, now that u have one 💀

Jia😈🤍

C'mon, don't be salty now, y/n. You know I can never forget about you even if I have a bf now. So, I was thinking, you wanna go on a movie date w me tomorrow? Woo will be there too, ofc ;)

You

And be third-wheeling the entire time w the both of u? No way in hell, Jia. U go spend your romantic movie date with wooyoung alone, i won't be mad, promise

Jia😈🤍

I knew you would say that. So well listen up, here's the deal. Yeosang will be joining us too tomorrow;))

You froze for a second and your phone almost dropped from your hands onto your face.

You

What the hell??!! Are you being srs?? Why would u even invite yeosang tho-

Jia😈🤍

You have absolutely no idea how much convincing it took wooyoung to get yeosang come along with him tomorrow. So you better say yes too, y/n. Your lover boy slash rival will be there too, tomorrow's gonna be loads of funnnnn

You almost wished to kick her across the screen for mentioning yeosang as your "lover boy."

You

Okay, but uh, does yeosang know that I'm coming too, tomorrow? I don't think he would have said yes if he knew I'm coming....

Jia😈🤍

He does. He knows ur coming and still agreed to the date. Wooyoung will do anything for me, even as far as convincing THE yeosang to agree to come to a hang out session w his rival. You know, part of me thinks that he willingly wants to be near you, bc why else would he say yes?

You took in a deep breath and processed all this.

You

I'm.....not too sure abt that. What time tomorrow and which cinema?

Jia 😈🤍

I see someone's excited, huh. I'll text you all the details tomorrow. For now, just sleep, and dream about your rival lover boy, nighttttt y/nnieeee

You

Gosh, shut up, Jia. And goodnight to you too, dream about wooyoung, loser

You put your phone on your bedside table and blankly stared at the ceiling, not believing that you were about to go on a movie date with yeosang, tomorrow.

Song Jia had to be the craziest person you've ever known. You couldn't believe that she went as far as successfully inviting Yeosang to the movie date tomorrow, yeosang knowing that you, his arch nemesis would be there. You knew Jia purposefully invited him so that something could possibly "change" into your relationship, perhaps either one of you making a move to confess, or something like that.

But you knew that wasn't true. Yeosang clearly wasn't interested in you in THAT way and you had to try your best to get over him. Tomorrow was going to be a very normal movie date with your friends.....and rival, now tour frenemy, which you would try to tolerate as much as you could.

You closed your eyes and finally slept, quite excited for what tomorrow was about to bring.

You stood in front of your open closet, your expression thoughtful as you scanned the rows of outfits hanging neatly inside. As the thought of yeosang being there at the movie date later struck you, you suddenly felt self-conscious. You were a confident person but all that confidence sometimes melted away in front of your rival. You wanted to look just right today, in front of him, maybe even impress him with your outfit today. While considering all these factors, you decided to drop your usual jeans-and-tee combo and instead, picked up a soft, pastel pink dress: with floral patterns at the edges, that seemed to hug your curves perfectly, A dark blue denim jacket would compliment this perfectly, you thought, as you picked up the jacket too, and closed your closet.

As you were adding some final touches to your light and subtle makeup, which would be ideal for a movie date- you picked up your favourite gold hoop earrings from a nearby drawer and wore them, checking yourself out in the mirror with your entire outfit, including your white canvas sneakers. You felt confident and beautiful, and hey, a girlish look doesn't look bad sometimes. Your outfit today bought out the feminism in you, and you hoped Yeosang's eyes wouldn't leave you or your outfit today.

Unusual excitement bubbled up inside you as you closed the door of your room, hiring a taxi from an app on your phone. The taxi arrived in no time and there you were, stepping inside the grand cinemas, right on time.

You texted Jia to let her know that you were already here. Jia would be arriving alone, just like you, whereas Wooyoung and Yeosang would be arriving together since they shared a cab.

You unconsciously tapped your foot as you scanned the cinema's ambience around you, focusing on the movie posters, You had no idea which movie you were about to watch but knowing Jia, she would have definitely picked a rom-com movie since she's a die-hard romance fanatic, after all.

After a few minutes, Jia joined you, looking just as bubbly and excited as always. As the both of you chatted away, Jia complimented your outfit and makeup and you complimented hers too. You tilted your head and noticed two guys making their way towards the both of you in the bustling lobby. There they were, Yeosang and Wooyoung, looking just high-class as always. There was something about these two whenever they were together- they carried an air of confidence and power between them and were undoubtedly the most attractive and handsome men in the entire room.

You glanced briefly at yeosang, your jaw almost dropping as you scanned his outfit from head to toe: a black leather jacket that complimented his broad shoulders, a fitted white t-shirt that highlighted his toned physique, the fabric stretching just enough to hint the muscles beneath. And of course, his dark blue jeans complimented his long legs perfectly well, his black converse shoes adding an edgy, cool and expensive look. As he walked towards you, his hair was slightly tousled, his perfect lips drawn together as he smiled at something wooyoung said. Wooyoung was looking just as good as yeosang, but frankly, at the moment, you could NOT focus on anyone other than yeosang. He stole your breath and got your heart beating unbelievably fast every second he walked closer to you.

This was only the second time you ever saw Yeosang in casual clothes, you thought. Everyday you'd see him in the typical school uniform, but he just looked....so different in such a casual look. His outfit today radiated such a strong bad boy look it was insane. Who would have thought that the softest, politest Kang Yeosang liked wearing such daring clothes like a leather jacket, outside the school premises?

The moment these two stood in font of the both of you, Jia ran towards Wooyoung and engulfed him in a soul-crushing hug. You awkwardly stood there, trying your best to not stare at Yeosang, or at least, let him know that you were staring at him. But needless to say, he was already staring at you, scanning your outfit from head to toe just like you had for him, and you could swear you saw him smirking a little. You could feel every inch of your skin burning, burning holes into your skin, the parts where yeosang stared at you.

You finally made eye contact with him, because after all, you HAD to acknowledge him. He gave you a small smile, that wasn't a smirk for once, and you reciprocated the same. Then you both stared at the lovey-dovey couple beside you together, as wooyoung finally pulled back from Jia. You smiled at the sight of both of them, together, like the perfect couple. Wooyoung greeted you and began small talk with you, and all this time, Yeosang's gaze was deeply fixated on you, noticing every little change in your expression, and you didn't dare to look away from wooyoung while talking to him.

Since there was still almost half an hour left for the movie to start, Wooyoung and Jia announced that they were going around the cinema to take pictures together, and Yeosang shrugged, while you agreed, asking them to come back soon. Jia requested you to buy popcorn and a few cold drinks for all four of you, before she went, and passed you a small wink, and a knowing smile, and OF COURSE, she did, because you and yeosang were going to be alone together for the next few minutes. great.

"Uhm, so, Jia asked me to buy popcorn and cold drinks for all of us. Mind accompanying me?" You asked Yeosang, breaking the ice between the both of you just as you were alone.

"Mm, sure, lead the way." Yeosang replied, as casually as possible. You lead the way to the snacks counter as he walked beside you. Soon, you both were scanning the cafeteria menu, looking at the popcorn flavor options.

"Since it's the four of us, i think two or three popcorns would be enough, right?" You asked, squinting your eyes to read the price.

"Right. And i guess four cold drinks each for us, but which brand does everyone prefer?" He asked which cold drink brands were available, to the cashier, and since the both of you know your best friend's preferences, you ordered for the both of them, too.

After you both completed placing the orders, it was time for payment, and you shamelessly asked Yeosang to pay since you weren't really carrying much cash with you at the moment.

'Why me though? You can pay too, you know." He said just as shamelessly as you. While other people normally argued that they would be the ones paying, here the both of you were taunting each other to pay.

You continued to argue for two more minutes when yeosang finally gave in and offered to pay, That annoyed you a little and it felt like he won the fight somehow.

"Why agree to pay now, though? I'm embarrassed now, i want to pay." You childishly argued.

"I can't believe you sometimes, y/n. You were literally asking me to pay earlier, and now that i'm paying, you've got a problem again?" Yeosang huffed, looking a little pissed.

The cashier sensed that both of you were going to childishly argue with each other once again and interrupted your conversation.

"Sir, ma'am, sorry to interrupt, but we've got other customers in line too, you know. How about you split up the payment.....?" She offered and the both of you considered it, feeling foolish to not have thought about splitting up earlier.

"Ah, well. Since the total is around 12$ anyways, we can split up 6$ each." You said, and yeosang finally agreed with you, and just as the both of you were finishing up the payment, someone screamed right behind you in your ear which caused you to have a jumpscare and you flinched horribly, letting out a small scream. Jia and Wooyoung laughed like maniacs upon your reaction, and now Yeosang also looked at you in amazement and laughed as if you were a total sight right now. Your cheeks flushed furiously as you slapped Jia on the arm.

"Sorry, sorry. Let me and Wooyoung help you carry the popcorn. You both can carry the drinks. Our screen is the 5th one." Jia said, gathering the popcorn and handing some to Wooyoung. All four of you quietly made your way to the cinema hall, sitting at your booked seats.

And of course, your seat was just beside yeosang's. Jia sat on your right and yeosang on your left, whereas wooyoung sat beside Jia and a stranger. You almost held your breath as you settled in your seat, but immediately relaxed because of the comfortable and soft incliner cushion seat. Alas, you couldn't relax completely no matter how much you tried and nervousness bubbled up inside you, cuz you were seated right beside your rival slash crush slash the person whom you were so utterly attracted to, physically, and you almost started sweating because of him being in your presence. But you held all these stupid feelings in and focused on the large theatre screen for gods sake.

It was one of the finest rom-coms of the century. From the start itself, you adored the characters and found the storyline pretty interesting. Obviously, you couldn't help but glance at Yeosang secretly from time to time, and notice every little detail of his facial expression as he watched the movie. Ugh, that perfect freaking side profile of his, No matter what angle you saw this man, he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen in your life. That jawline could surely cut diamonds, you thought. God, how badly you wanted to ruffle those soft strands of tousled, black hair. You chose to focus on the movie instead. You glanced at Jia and noticed her and wooyoung's hands intertwined together. You wished it was you and Yeosang holding hands, too...

At some point, your and yeosang's fingers brushed together because both of you reached for the popcorn in the chair stand at the same time. You felt yourself blush so badly, that you were glad it was dark right now, or else Jia would have teased the hell out of you.

"I'm having this first, i reached for it first." Yeosang whispered lowly and it sent shivers down your spine because of how close he was to you, as he said this.

"Huh, no way. Let me have it first. How can you be so sure you reached for it first?" You argued, now lightly slapping yeosang's palm under yours. He let out a fake wince and tried grabbing some popcorn but you stopped him just in time, and there you were; the both of you fighting childishly like nursery school kids. This was your element, right now you were in your natural habitat with yeosang. This is what you both did every time, bantering about every little thing and you both never got tired of pissing each other off.

"God, shut up already, you both. Here, take our popcorn, Why does it even matter who reached for it first?" Jia said, quite annoyed.

"Really can't take the both of you anywhere. Always fighting like siblings." Wooyoung said, sighing, and passed their popcorn to Jia who passed it to you.

You lightly pinched Jia's arm after hearing wooyoung's words. "Tell your boyfriend to not call us siblings. Ew, who would even like to be siblings with this guy?" You whispered something only Jia was supposed to hear but unfortunately yeosang heard it, too.

"Just so you know, i would absolutely loathe to be your sibling too. The feeling's mutual." Yeosang said, huffing, and suddenly the movie in front of you was long forgotten. You passed him an annoying smirk and he did too, but the both of you calmed down soon, your attention back on the movie.

And suddenly, the both of you were laughing together at a comedy scene, and your eyes met yeosang's as you took in the sight of his carefree, almost adorable laughter. So this is what his laughter was like. To say that you liked observing such things about yeosang was an understatement. You loved knowing and collecting bits of information about this guy and unravelling every little inch of his personality.

Wooyoung and Jia stared at the both of you in unision as you and yeosang didn't break your eye contact for a few seconds. It seemed like you were searching for something, in his eyes. As you caught yeosang's gaze on your lips briefly for a second, you felt like passing ou. You broke the eye contact, the heat in your cheeks rising as you refocused on the screen in front of you. You couldn't bear to see him smirking after winning this battle of eye contact, yet again.

The movie ended after 2 hours, and you legit felt like these were the longest 2 hours of your life. As you both exited the cinema hall. all of you happily chatting about how good the storyline of the movie was, you suddenly became quiet for a few minutes, recollecting yeosang's brief glance at your lips back in the cinema hall. And you slowly stared up at the the same guy ahead of you, his dimples prominent as he chatted with wooyoung and jia. What if, just what if, one of you had made the first move, back then, and would have kissed? He was the one who stared at your lips first, after all.

But then again, that wasn't possible. Maybe it was just a coincidence, him staring at your lips. You were so normal about this. Totally normal. Yeosang didn't affect you in any way.

You caught up to them, and heard Jia saying something about how her relatives were about to visit her that night and how she needed to go home as soon as possible. Wooyoung, as her boyfriend, of course; offered to drop her home and soon, they waved the both of you goodbye, exiting the cinema together.

You and yeosang were alone, yet again, at the cinema, now.

You both walked out towards the exit together, the atmosphere painfully quiet between the both of you. Just as you were about to say something, Yeosang interrupted your words.

"So like, i bought my bike here. I can give you a ride home if you'd like... it's pretty late, anyways. Where did you say you lived again?" Yeosang inquired, standing right in front of you. His hair was messier than before now because of the wind, and your hands itched to straighten up his hair for him.

You had to be the stupidest person on earth to reject his current offer, yet you did. It was like a godsent opportunity was placed right in front of you and yet you rejected it like the coward you were. You were going to regret this badly, later.

"Uhh, i live just like, 20 minutes away from here. You don't have to drop me home, i wanted to walk home anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." You said weakly.

There was an obvious expression of disappointment on yeosang's face, but it lasted only for a second as he asked for a second time, if you were sure about walking home at this late hour. He looked like he wasn't ready to be rejected. like you would have obviously said yes to his offer. which you should have.

And here you were, all by yourself, after witnessing one of the hottest scenarios you've ever seen in your life: Kang Yeosang on his dashing red motorbike, his huge black helmet covering his head, him passing you a peace sign to show that he was finally leaving, and you waved him off, watching him disappear into the darkness of the streets ahead. The moment he started the gear of his bike and drove so impeccably fast, you realised that he wasn't just driving his bike but was also driving you insane.

You sighed and walked in the opposite direction of where Yeosang went, opening your phone to google maps. You had no freaking clue why you lied to Yeosang about your home being close to the cinema. It was apparently gonna take you 40 minutes to reach home, and just as you were walking halfway, you decided to call in a cab on the way home. You stood near the giant tree across the pavement, a hug car parked right ahead of you.

Suddenly, you felt a tug on your purse. A stranger dressed in all black appeared in front of you, and since your attention was on your phone, you reacted poorly. He attempted to snatch at your purse and before you could stop him, he already grabbed your purse and sprinted away in the darkness.

Your heart raced as you realized what had happened. Instinctively, you attempted to run after the thief, but stopped right in your tracks as you realized that he already ran too far away.

Just as panic threatened to set in, you heard a familiar voice nearby, almost growling.

"Hey, you f*cker!!! Stop right there!!!"

It was Yeosang, your unexpected shining night in armour. The way he shouted and almost growled towards the thief, for you, had you swooning over him.

Yeosang's leather jacket flapped behind him as he sprinted towards the fleeing thief, and he immediately tackled him towards the ground and successfully managed to grab your purse from his pant pockets. You watched the scenario in front of you in awe, just as you started wondering how on actual earth yeosang even came back here just in time. didn't he already leave like minutes ago? how did he even know that you were being pick pocketed??!!

"Who the hell even are you, dude?? That girl must be important to you, the way you got out of yo bike and ran so fast towards me." The thief said, and you felt like punching him on the face.

It was true, though. Why would yeosang act so fast, for you? It didn't mean anything, you managed to convince yourself. Even a random stranger would have helped you if they saw this scene unfold. It was people's duty to help each othe-

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend. You got any problem, bastard? And just how many people's pockets do you pickpocket everyday, like this?!" Yeosang shouted angrily without hesitation, not even passing you a single glance. You felt your blood run cold.

Girlfriend. Yeah, she's my girlfriend, you bastard.

The words rang again and again in your ears, not until you become unconscious of hearing them. Why would he, even...?

Hell, he could have called you his best friend for what its worth and that wouldn't affect you like this. Yet, he chose to introduce you as his girlfriend to a random thief whom he was now painfully punching in the face. You stared at him, completely still, and something told you he wasn't done beating that thief, as the thief skillfully flipped yeosang over and ran away for his life.

Yeosang grunted painfully, at the feeling of rocks hitting his back as he slowly took hold of himself and got up. That was when you wasted no time in rushing over to his side, placing an arm on his shoulder and wiping off the dust from his jacket with the other hand. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, your rival whom you had a crush on, fighting off a thief for you.

"Yeosang...how did you even? know i was in this situation? and weren't you already on your way home...? You asked, confusion etched in your voice and expression.

Yeosang looked up at you, agonizingly slowly, and handed you your purse, which you took very carefully, holding it close to your chest. He didn't say anything for almost a minute, but then he spoke up.

"Yeah, because apparently, you are so dumb that you can't even take care of yourself. If i wouldn't have been here, y/n, tell me, who the hell would have helped you??!!" Yeosang sounded angry, and that was probably the first time he ever raised his voice on you. You flinched slightly and the tone of his words and he noticed, his gaze immediately softening. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"

"No, y-you're right. I really am the dumbest person on earth. I shouldn't have let down your offer of dropping me home..." You admitted, tears almost threatening to spill out of your eyes because you were so embarrassed.

"Oh yeah, about that. On my way home on the bike, i recalled when you once told me your address and realised that you live quite far away from here. And yet you lied to me about your home being 20 minutes away from here. Why?" Yeosang demanded some answers from you and he surely had the entire right of knowing why you lied to him.

"Yeosang, i.... i dont know. I probably just didn't want to bother you or something, at such late hours of night, you know..." You trailed off.

"You would not have bothered me in any way. Besides, your home is just on the way to mine by a few minutes..." Yeosang said, and then there was complete silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Something hung in the air, something that was left to be addressed. Oh right. Girlfriend. You desperately tried to ignore the blush that formed on your face as his words rung up in your ears, your mind, your body, your soul- once again.

You hesitated for a moment but managed to ask this, regardless.

"A-and, um, why did you tell that thief that i'm your girlfriend, earlier......? You asked, your voice almost breaking but you hoped that yeosang heard you, loud and clear.

"Ah, about that. Don't think about it much, you know. It just spilled out of my mouth, to uh, scare that thief away for good. To make some impact, you know?" Yeosang answered sheepishly, his hand awkwardly caressing the back of his head.

You could almost laugh right now, that's how ridiculous this situation was. "Don't think about it much" how can i not, for god's sake, kang yeosang, when that's the only thing i'm going to be focusing on for the rest of my life? "to make an impact" my ass.

You let out a small sigh and looked him right in the eyes. SO, all this really didn't mean anything to him. He just casually addressed you as his girlfriend to make an impact on the thief. great. you could be hit with a million rocks right now, and that would still hurt less than what you were feeling right now.

You realised that you were supposed to reply to him, because well, he already gave you his answer.

"An impact?? Sure. Whatever you say." You replied, sounding disinterested. Unbothered. The complete opposite of what you were feeling right now. Hell, you should audition for acting, the way you're able to conceal your true emotions so well.

"Well, i'm taking you home now, and i'm not hearing a single word of protest from you now." He announced, already dashing out to reach for his bike before you could even reply to him.

He returned in no time, placing his bike right in front of you both and hopping off on his bike, patting on the seat behind him, motioning for you to get on.

"What are you waiting for? Get on already." He said, sounding impatient. You really weren't left with any choice now. You hopped on the seat behind yeosang, and yeosang instructed to to hold on tight to him as he started. You hesitated for a second but gripped his shoulders a second later, feeling his strong shoulders and the expensive material of his leather jacket. You felt dizzy.

Just as yeosang started the engine, your heart almost beat out of your chest as you realised at the fast speed he was driving with. But you weren't really afraid of speed. not at all. Instead, it was the complete opposite; you felt alive, you felt exhilarated, you felt this sudden surge of freedom in your veins. You removed your hands from yeosang's shoulder and waved your hands in the air, freely, as yeosang tilted his head with his helmet on just for a second, smirking and grinning at how happy you were, right now.

Suddenly, a rock bumped the tyre of his bike, causing a huge drift as you hurriedly gripped yeosang's shoulder with so much force, you swore the jacket was dropping off his shoulders.

"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, that must have hurt-" You started as you noticed him stiffen a little at your sudden touch.

"No, you did the right thing. Make sure to always hold onto me with such force whenever such bumps occur. I need you to be as safe as possible." He replied, his words sounding muffled because of his helmet.

I need you to be as safe as possible.

God, what was his deal nowadays? Did he suddenly make it his mission to test you, today??!! You kept the same grip on his shoulders, humming in response to him, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating impeccably faster, the rest of your ride peacefully quiet, as you took in the chilly night air, the streetlamps, and the tall buildings around you.

This all felt like a dream. Here, huddled close with your rival slash crush on his bike, him offering you a ride home, you enjoying the chilly night with yeosang. if this really was a dream, you did not want to wake up from this dream.

maybe this was all that you've wanted, all this time. this was all you craved for. and now that you're getting dangerously closer to yeosang, how could you even spend a minute away from him? how could you not think about this perfect guy all the time, when he is all you've ever wanted?

Just as you reached your building, yeosang stopped the engine, got off his bike and removed his helmet. You did the same, an empty feeling lingering within you as you let go of your grip on his shoulder. you wanted to get impossibly closer to him, and yet, here you were: staring at the guy in awe, like he just won the olympics.

"well.....?" he started, smirking a little, taking in your impressed expression and waiting for some compliments.

"that was AWESOME, yeosang, even though i hate to admit it. You looked...really cool driving your bike. thank you for bringing me home in one piece." You said a little sarcastically.

"You're welcome. Well, get in already. It's pretty late and i need to go home soon." He said, smiling satisfactorily.

"Right. Um, goodnight. Get home safe and thank you again." You said, holding on tight to your purse and walking towards your complex, and just when you were far away from yeosang, you glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you leave, as if he wasn't planning to leave unless he saw you get completely inside your building gates.

that is something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, right......?

You waved lightly at him and he waved back, finally getting on his bike and you watched him, once again, trailing off in the darkness.

Kang Yeosang........

why do i keep smiling, after meeting you these days? Why is my mood entirely different nowadays when you are around?

My eyes keep looking for you everywhere, even if it's unnecessary. how is this even me? i am supposed to be hating you. i am supposed to be happy if you leave me the hell alone. but i feel so...empty and sad instead. what spell and magic have you used on me? that i keep selfishly wanting you, more and more. i don't even know when this all happened. somehow, my heart beats impeccably faster, only for you. this started at one point and never ended,

how did you even become so important to me, yeosang?

you give my life it's meaning. i am still so utterly young and so are you. i don't know what i am saying at this point. but my growing feelings, my changed emotions towards you nowadays.....it's not a joke. not anymore. if i don't confess to you soon i might die. a rejection at this point would hurt less than bottling my feelings inside like a raging storm.

i want you. selfishly, dangerously, desperately, want you- all for myself.

who knew something would provoke me to actually confess to you...today?

It’s late afternoon; the sun casts long shadows through the hallway's tall windows, bathing the scene in a golden, wistful light. As students hurry to their next class, the locker doors clank and conversations blur into a continuous hum, creating a backdrop of ordinary high school life. but something isn't ordinary today, actually since a week- between you and yeosang.

it had been two weeks since the movie date happened, also the day wherein yeosang dropped you home on his bike, fought a thief for you and addressed you as his girlfriend. which was all a lie, of course. but you still can't get his words out of your mind, ever since that day. and it bothers you that something as heavy as that was so easy for him to lie about.

Talking about you and your activities these days- well, you were supposed to hand in a hefty chemistry project the next week, and one of your classmates, Jaehyun, was your partner was the same. Almost all your extra time after school gets occupied with working on your project with Jaehyun at your home. Everything was working smoothly and efficiently, Jaehyun was the best partner you could have ever asked for. You had known Jaehyun ever since the first year of high school and were good friends with him, but you both never really talked much, not until you were paired up together for the project.

And here you were- walking towards the familiar person towards his desk, chatting with him about what you were supposed to finish today. You could not even make your point straight sometimes, while conversing with him, because Jaehyun, being the jokester he is, would crack such horrendous jokes and wordplays every now and then, you couldn't help but burst out into laughter and beg him to stop. soon enough, though, he would concentrate on what you're saying and add suggestions of his own, because unfortunately, he knew the both of you needed to get those grades.

Somehow, even though Jaehyun made you laugh your lungs out for minutes straight, you still felt empty, still felt this unusual surge of sadness.

and of course, the only person responsible for that was kang yeosang.

over the past week, yeosang has been acting so unusual towards you. Your relationship, once filled with playful banter and unending teasing, now even him ranting to you about his family conflicts and the movie date events, had taken a sharp, unexplained turn, leaving you feeling confused and isolated. it would not have bothered you much if it happened once or twice, but it happened every day over the past week, including today. you felt like drowning in an ocean every single time he ignored you over the past week.

On Monday, you tried to indulge him in a joke during algebra class, but he barely cracked a smile at that, instead, he gave an uninterested shrug and turned away to talk to wooyoung, who was seated beside him. The laughter that followed, one that you weren't a part of, suddenly felt like a barrier between the both of you.

On Tuesday, when you were both seated in the library at the same time, just when you were about to reach out to him to start a normal conversation, he took hold of his bag and left- without sparing you a single glance or acknowledging you like he always did, at least with a smirk. You felt a sharp, burning ache in your chest, at that moment.

On Wednesday and Thursday, just when you didn't want to overthink much about yeosang's sudden unusual behaviour towards you, things worsened. Once, when it was physics class, you were looking forward to the rivalry that always took place in between both of you, almost like a form of affection. You used to compete on who could answer the professor's questions first and he never let down his guard during such lectures. But this time, his hang didn't raise up to answer, not even once. You passed him a confused glance and he just shrugged, yet again, and you were 100% sure he knew the answer but still didn't answer instead. he seemed distracted and impossibly distant to you, and all you wanted to do is cry until you passed out. a similar incident of him ignoring you happened on Thursday and frankly, you don't even want to talk about it.

On Friday, the week's pattern of avoidance reached its peak. as school ended and the bells rung, you felt a knot of anxiety instead of relief that school ended. As you reached your locker, you overheard yeosang and wooyoung talking about their weekend plans about playing a new video game that wooyoung had bought, together. the ease and joy you felt in yeosang's voice made your stomach churn, because just as you walked closer to him, trying to start a conversation yet again, smiling faintly- yeosang glanced up, saw you, and the smile on his face suddenly faded. Wooyoung didn't seem to notice because he was scrolling something on his phone. Yeosang immediately broke eye contact with you and whispered something to wooyoung, effectively dismissing you. huh, two could play this game, you thought. angered and confused like hell, you turned away from him and took your bag and left without sparing him another glance.

"He's definitely ignoring me. I dont even know the hell why." You mumbled, lying on your bed, and Jia put her phone aside and turned to you, looking concerned. She came over to hang out with you for a while, during the weekends, and who else could you open up to about your problems other than your best friend?

"After you described his unusual behaviour towards you the entire week, i think so too. And that is so shitty of him. Seriously, have you done something to piss him off badly these days?" Jia asked, confused.

"I don't even get the chance to TALK to him nowadays, Jia- let alone tease him or piss him off. And over and over i keep thinking if i did o said something wrong but nothing comes to my mind, seriously. How dare he give me a cold shoulder after literally calling me his girlfriend to a random stranger last week??!!" You ranted, sounding and feeling the angriest you've ever felt in your life.

Jia consoled you and tried her best to distract your mind from yeosang during the time she was with you. but after she left, at night; you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying yeosang's cold indifference over and over in your mind. This can't continue into next week; you need answers, and deserve answers. Monday, you decide, will be the day you confront yeosang, demanding to know why he pushed you away over the week. You fell asleep rehearsing what she would say, each word crafted precisely to argue with him and let him know how sad and frustrated you get when he ignores you....which would maybe also lead to you confessing to him...?

not that you cared. if a confession is what comes out of this then be it.

The weekend passed by in no time. Here you were, presenting your chemistry project in front of the entire class along with Jaehyun, feeling pretty confident and satisfied with your work. The presentation went by pretty smoothly and your chemistry teacher showered you both with compliments and so did the entire class; applauding cheerfully. You returned to your seat with a huge smile on your face (that you couldn't hide) and fist-bumped Jaehyun, telling him that you both truly did a great job.

Next up was Yeosang and Mingi's project. Mingi was one of your classmates and also a good friend of Yeosang's. Their presentation was something unique and different, something that had grabbed the entire class's attention, including yours. They both explained each concept so well and their research was done excellently. While directly making eye contact with the entire class while explaining each slide, at some point, when their presentation was done and the entire class cheered rowdily once again, Yeosang's eyes made brief eye contact with yours, and you could not tell what his expression meant. But you clapped softly and Yeosang's face was still blank, not until he met eyes with other students and smiled politely at them. You still continued staring at him until he settled back into his seat, your eyes silently spitting outrage and confusion, and he didn't look back at you.

Your mind was now a outlet of mixed emotions and feelings and displaced thoughts; as you worked out how to settle everything with yeosang and to know what the hell was his actual deal.

You could not figure out anything, not until all lectures for the day ended and the bell rang loudly, all students hurrying up to pack their bags and go home. A sudden splash of currentness washed over you, as you realized that this was your only chance to confront Yeosang, or else he'd be gone forever. You could confront him tomorrow too, but you had planned to do this today and you never broke promises with yourself. Instead of directly lashing out at him, you decided to compliment him on his project first and ask him about his thoughts on your project.

Just as you spotted him at the classroom doors, ready to step out into the hallway, you quickly rushed over and stood after him, almost blocking his way.

"Hey. Y-your project, and Mingi's too, of course- was amazing. Well done, seriously." You managed to let out, almost in a fangirl kinda voice.

Yeosang just stared at you for a second, a bit startled at first when you practically blocked his way, but now his expression was still blank, and he mumbled out a low "thank you."

Nah, this isn't it. You decided to speak up a bit more, like normal.

"I was really impressed by how detailed your explanations were. What did you think about my project? Was it good enough to impress THE kang yeosang?" You asked, chuckling a little. Usually, yeosang would have definitely giggled a little, or even smirked, but instead, he parted his lips awkwardly.

"Yeah, it was cool." He replied, his voice still low. You still stood there, expecting him to say something more, but he didn't, instead- just stared coldly at you as if telling you to get the hell outta his way and let him leave. But you were absolutely not letting that happen. He crossed is limit and your blood was practically boiling now.

"What the hell is wrong with you nowadays, Yeosang?" You asked him, your voice low but still emitting annoyance and rage.

"W-what do you mean?" He asked, now breaking eye contact with you, staring at the floor behind you. You couldn't believe that he stuttered while saying his first word. Ah, so he is aware of his actions over the past week, you thought.

"What do i mean?? SERIOUSLY?? Don't act all innocent. Why are you ignoring me and pushing me off since the past week?" You asked, your voice loud and firm, demanding answers. "Just so you know, I am not letting you get away with the silent treatment you've been giving me. Tell me, what did I even do wrong that you're giving me the cold shoulder??!! You said, practically screaming at the man in front of you. Something about Yeosang's demeanor changed, at that moment- his eyes were now a flicker of emotions you could not comprehend.

"I'm.....not ignoring you. I am talking with you now, aren't i?" He said, his voice still low, almost as if he spoke any further it would break.

"Stop lying for god's sake!!!!!" You let out, and without thinking any further, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the nearest closet, the one closest to the hallway and your class.

It looked like a huge closet from the outside, but it was pretty closed-off from the inside, and you had no idea how you managed to fit inside it along with Yeosang, but you did.

Yeosang almost removed his wrist from your grip but gave up as soon as you dragged him inside the closet with you, breathing heavily in this constricted place he was bought to.

Inside the dimly lit closet, the air was thick with the scent of lemon polish and dust. You finally let go of his wrist and stood a few inches apart from him, your gaze piercing an burning holes into his skin.

"Are you insane? Why did you even bring me here, y/n??" He asked, coughing a little. Your skin formed goosebumps as your ears registered the fact that he called out your name. You did not hear him call you by your name for the past week and now that he did, you felt like you were getting dizzy.

"Quit the act and tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Unfortunately, i had to bring you here to talk or else you would have pushed me off and walked past me again, ignoring me like always, right?" You let out, your voice sarcastic.

Suddenly you became aware of the present situation, you locked into a small, constricted closet along with your rival....or your crush, him being only inches apart from you. There was a dim light turned on inside the closet so hopefully, you could see each other's faces, and hell, why did yeosang always have to look this goddamn handsome?

The strands of his smooth, black hair were messed up at the edges and he was sweating a little because of the current atmosphere, and his forehead was slightly exposed- his hoop cross earrings shining in the dim light. There were no restrictions about wearing subtle jewelry at your school and Yeosang took advantage of it, showing off his ear piercings.

If he wanted to leave and had nothing else to say to you, he would have already opened the closet door and would have left, you thought. But he didn't, instead, you felt his lips being parted as if he was about to say something. He hesitated for a few seconds, but said it regardless;

"Why......Ah, right. Your project is over now and you won't spend time with Jaehyun anymore, so you're suddenly looking for me now?" He said, laughing a little in disbelief.

What....? No way...... was he jealous of you spending time with Jaehyun nowadays?

You weren't dumb, you had already thought about the possibility of Yeosang perhaps giving you the cold shoulder because he felt jealous of Jaehyun, since you really were spending a lot of time with him since the past week... but you quickly brushed this off because you always thought that Yeosang did not like you in that way. Always.....and him saying this to you, right now, obviously implied that he was jealous, right?

"What are you talking about? Who do you even think i am....yeosang?? Don't tell me you felt jealous of Jaehyun?" You let out, staring so firmly at him, observing each and every single detail about his expression.

Silence. He didn't say anything, instead just stared below, almost looking embarrassed.

Now, it was you who was laughing in disbelief. "Just talk to me...for gods sake. You being quiet is not helping, and now you're implying that you felt jealous of Jaehyun. What am i supposed to make of this?" You asked, patiently or impatiently waiting for him to just...speak.

"So, am i in the wrong for feeling jealous, now?? I am sorry. I have to be the stupidest person on earth, i- i don't even have the right to be feeling jealous for you, y/n," Yeosang said, and the last sentence felt like something he would've wanted to say to himself. He felt vulnerable, his words felt vulnerable- and if you weren't confronting him right now, you would have hugged him for sure.

"Hey... i'm not saying that you feeling jealous is wrong. It's definitely not. Just, do you have any clue how you ignoring me and giving me the worst cold shoulder made me feel? I wanted to cry, scream, pull you by your collar and make you look directly at me and just...wanted everything between us to be normal. I, feel so deprived when you don't give me attention, you're so important to me, i-i don't know how you became so important to me, Yeosang." You said, catching your breath as you stared at the wall sideways. You could not look at Yeosang right now. You just couldn't.

"Y/N.....i had no idea...." He said, not breaking his gaze away from your face.

"I'm sorry, all this time, i thought it was just me...i am not supposed to be feeling jealous of you, y/n. You're my rival, goddamit- and as this thought sunk in, i realized that i like you, so bad that it hurts. I am sorry, for making you sad. That's the last thing I'd want, i like you so much, I'd never want you to cry over someone as stupid as me-" and that's it. that's all it took for you to close the remaining inches of distance between the both of you. You wanted him to just, stop speaking. Apologizing. You could hear him say that he liked you a million times, but him apologizing for liking you? You wanted to cry, SCREAM. Realizing that you were just an inch away from his face, not only did yeosang stop speaking, but those dark, majestic eyes immediately glanced at your lips, and that's all it took for you to press a light, chaste kiss on his lips.

You immediately pulled apart after a second, not even registering Yeosang's reaction to the sudden kiss. It was too much for you, though- his lips were so soft, although you just pecked for a mere second, you could feel how sweet those perfect lips tasted, and you wanted to kiss him forever. You don't even know how you managed to pull apart, but you did, of course- because you could not do this if yeosang didn't want to.

Yeosang's eyes widened the moment you kissed him, and although you were too scared to see his reaction, you did anyways, your eyes roaming everywhere, hesitantly, nervously around his face. And then you finally met his eyes- and saw him lift his hand and one of his fingers lightly grazed the edge of his lips, as if registering that you had...just kissed him.

He met your eyes, and just when you had this horrible feeling to just open the closet doors and run away for your life, Yeosang grabbed your wrist, walking a few inches closer until he pulled you up against the closet wall on your side, and you swore your heart beat right out of your chest, at that moment. He placed his other hand right behind your head, on the wall; and a small smile played at the corner of his lips before chasing your lips once again, completely closing any distance left between the both of you, and kissed you slowly at first, as if savoring you, learning how it feels like to kiss you. You firmly closed your eyes, trying your best to live in this moment, to kiss him back just as sweetly as he did.

A million reasons could have convinced you that Kang Yeosang would have rejected you and that things would never be the same between the both of you again. But not a single reason could have convinced you that here he was, kissing you as if you both were the only people in this world, confessing to you about how much he likes you.

You were so overwhelmed with so many emotions bubbling up inside you, but the only thing you wanted was to kiss kang yeosang until you were breathless, until you felt like passing out. no stopping in between. so, you did.

His lips picked up their pace, now kissing you passionately, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. His hand still held your wrist, and you closed it into a fist, and you just drowned in the sensation Yeosang's lips on yours. He suddenly bit your lower lip with his teeth, and you almost squealed- but regained your composition, and bit his upper lip as revenge. God, he almost moaned into your mouth and you felt your knees go weak. His lips tasted like coffee, the sweet one- like mocha. Mocha was your favorite drink and the fact that yeosang's lips tasted as sweet as mocha.....

The both of you pulled apart minutes later, completely breathless and reaching out for air- although barely any of it could be found in this constricted place. He flashed you a small, satisfied smirk, and your stomach swooned, a strong blush forming on your cheeks. The realization of your first kiss, with yeosang, taking place in the school's hallway closets- had you feeling mixed emotions. Hell, your happiness won out of those emotions, you felt so giddy inside, becuase you had just kissed THE kang yeosang.

"I hated the fact that you looked so nervous after kissing me for the first time, you know." He said, his voice firm.

"I....felt like i never made it clear, or even gave you small hints, that i liked you all along. I wanted to wash all your insecurities, hesitation and nervousness away. So i kissed you until you were breathless, hopefully making my feelings clear. You're just as important to me, like you said, i am to you." He said, holding you chin and softly caressing his thumb over your cheeks.

You melted so badly, at everything going on in this moment- his fingers softly caressing your cheeks, him confessing to you again just to make sure that you knew how much he liked you.

"S-stop saying things like that, and that too so sincerely. I feel like i might have a heart attack. And i like you too, so much that i think i might die." You said, smiling sheepishly.

"Hmm, that sounds like a convincing confession. Does that mean that you might have died if i had rejected you now, instead?" He said, chuckling.

"No, i would have still liked you as much as i always did. I would have never given up, even if you rejected me. I would do everything to make you fall in love with me. I am a stubborn person, you know." You replied, meaning every word you said.

Yeosang placed a soft, subtle kiss on your cheek after your reply, and you witnessed his beautiful, endearing eye smile at that moment, and your heart once again melted into puddles.

You could not believe all this. This was so, different.... he treated you like you were a delicate doll, at this moment, he showered so much love on you, something you would have never expected to happen. What you did expect was the usual cocky face, that usual smirk, that unending teasing, unending random fights. not....what just happened.

"L-lets get out now, we're both sweating like hell. Not really an ideal place to stay in after a confession and a kiss, you know" You said, and Yeosang nodded, peeking through the small hole in the door, making sure no one was present in the hallway. Then, you both got out, taking in the fresh air, as he mumbled "You're the one who bought me in this shitty place. However, the kiss and confession made it worth it." You passed him a smirk and he shrugged.

You both rushed toward your classroom, picked up your bags, and walked down the stairs together, the atmosphere suddenly quiet between the both of you. You tried your best to hide the fact that you just kissed someone, but you couldn't, of course- that dumb, sheepish smile on your face remained, you glancing at yeosang every now and then as you reached the school gates- him looking just as flustered as you.

i can make yeosang flustered, you thought. i have the power to make him go all shy.....

"I got jealous once too, you know." You said, breaking the silence and Yeosang looked up at you, his eyes all curious and wide.

"Don't think you even remember this, since you are so nice to everyone all the time. But you know, when you were walking down the stairs and caught a girl who was just about to fall down? I was jealous, i even wished it was me in that redheads place. I also felt like i had no right to be jealous for you." You admitted, the both of you now standing at the pavement of a street starting from the edge of your school gates.

"Ah, that time? I don't remember much, to be honest, but i had no idea that you were jealous, i don't think i was even aware that you were near me at that time..." Yeosang said, looking apologetic, and it was the first time you had ever seen him look apologetic.

"Of course, you don't remember. You do stuff like this all the time, act so nice and polite towards everyone in school- and become the complete opposite when you're with me. It has changed quite significantly nowadays, though, and now you act nice towards me too." You rambled, almost as if you were talking to yourself.

"I.... didn't know that you paid so much attention to me. Just so you know, i always teased you and fought with you and stuff, because i felt comfortable with you. It's not easy for me to be comfortable with just anyone, so i always act nice to others no matter what because i'm scared i'll disappoint them in some way... i know you won't understand this properly.." He said, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if you understood him.

"I get what you mean. That's why i never really complained about our....relationship. Whenever you acted so differently towards me, it was like you were trusting me with your true, real personality. Maybe that's also one of the reasons that pushed me to confess to you." You admitted.

"I could shower you with a million compliments right now, y/n, but unfortunately, we have to go home... it's too late, but i don't want to let you go just yet." He pouted, and he looked so cute you wanted to pinch his nose. So you did.

"Alright, loverboy. Let's go home and continue this conversation while chatting or on call? My mom's probably wondering where the hell i am." Yeosang pinched your nose in return and you both giggled together, feeling content.

"Reach home safely. I'll call you later, bye." Yeosang waved to you as he parted ways in the opposite direction of yours, a lovesick smile lingering on his lips that you couldn't ignore. You waved back and almost skipped happily on your way home, thinking this might just have been the best day of your life.

Just as you stepped inside your room after washing up, you sat on your bed, pulling out your phone, and right at that time, a message notification popped up.

from kang yeosang. that's how you had saved his name on your phone and you chucked at how... formal it was, his full name and everything. Before checking his message, you went towards th eetings of your chat and added a heart alongside the name "yeosang"

yeosang 💗

heyy

can i call you rn? or later, if you're busy?

you

suree, call me, i'm free rn

i was waiting for ur msg <3

You picked up his call, giving up on the "hi, hello" pleasantries and just starting your conversation because you surely had so much to talk about.

"This might just be the first time i've ever called you. It's so weird but i've wanted to do it since a long time." He chuckled, his voice sounding deep and low, and you felt like your heart was on fire.

"I know, right. All this is so... unusual. We used to be RIVALS, yeosang. and now, today, we....all this..... i can't believe this." You said, finding it unreal that you're even talking with yeosang on the phone, right now.

"Seriously. We still are rivals, though, you're such a smartass and i can't help but get competitive at almost...everything with you. But we can be making out in between all such banters and saying sweet stuff to each other sometimes, i guess."

You laughed at how honest yeosang was and how he worded everything. You realized that you were no better than him because when it came to him, you could just go on rambling forever, saying words that don't make sense sometimes.

"Deal. So i guess we're rivals and lovers at the same time..now." You chuckled at how absurd that sounded, but it was true.

"That's right, y/n. Ah shoot, i have to go now, wooyoung's practically screaming at me over texts when i told him about our kiss and confession today." There was a hint of panic in yeosang's voice and you found it cute.

"OH FUCK. That reminds me how i have to tell Jia about this, too. Talk to you later, rival slash lover boy." Jia would practically call you and scream at you at this, just like wooyoung. they truly do suit each other....

"That was a little- nevermind. Bye, rival slash lover girl." He replied, waiting for you to cut the phone, so you did, although it was painful and you could keep listening to his voice forever.

And as expected, Jia was so pumped up after heating your events of the day with yeosang, she screamed so loud, saying "FREAKING FINALLY, YOU DUMBASS" your ears might've been permanently damaged at this point. But she said how happy she was for you and how she'll kick yeosang's ass if he ever makes you sad, and you thanked her for that.

Everything was so much for you to take in. But suddenly, everything felt right, everything felt like normal, at the same time. It was like you were meant to be, together with yeosang, although you were his rival.

The playful banters and teasing could go on and on in your relationship, along with the both of you doing the things a couple does, successfully planting in a healthy relationship.

You felt blessed to have such a person in your life, someone like yeosang, who made your life so interesting, so exciting, someone who made you look forward to waking up in the morning and someone who was now yoir boyfriend.

Boyfriend, yeosang.....hmm. I like the sound of that. You thought, giddily grabbing your pillow and practically squealing because of how happy and content you were.

but of course, not content just yet. there were so many things to do with yeosang, now that you both were a couple- go on dates everywhere, kiss all the time, make love, say that you love each other a hundred times...

you were not ready but were ready at the same time, for the upcoming chapters of your life with kang yeosang, your now rival slash lover boy- moments that you were sure would make you feel like you're living the best life possible because you're living them with yeo.

A/N ^^^ - a possible upcoming extra scene coming up for this one, which I will include in another post later <3 because I felt like the ending was pretty rushed but I will make it up to you guys later, I promise. it's just because I felt like this fic was getting way too long and it'd be too much for y'all to read ;(

likes, reblongs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated, dear reader, thank you so much for reading my fic!! :)

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