#but i have trully been called out with that angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shuawonie · 1 year

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strangers in the rain. (new version)

pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader (+ dino x fem!reader)

genre: angst | fluff | comfort | kinda enemies to lovers!au

wc: 2.3k

ib: doom at your service.

Who said that first loves never work out?

You were overcome with the desire to find that person who said that, and kill them right away. Why did they have to be that true with their words? Although, it wasn't their fault that your first love didn’t work out, it was something that your still wanted to do.

Because you couldn’t kill your first love.

But then again, you might not even have the strength and energy to kill him if you even met him once again. You weren’t ready.

You were sitting on the stairs in front of your first love’s apartment, crying like a baby for four hours straight. Your broken heart was hurting painfully, so what could you do if not cry? Even rain started to pour, collocating together with your sadness and despair.

“You’re in the way.” suddenly, you heard someone’s cold voice talking above you.

‘What?’ you felt an uncomfortable pain in your chest as the barrage of thoughts became to pressure you.

Many people were going into or out of this building, not paying any attention to you sitting here, so why did that one person have to niggle at you sitting here, when you weren't even taking that much space.

The unfamiliar voice made you raise your head slowly, trying to identify the person standing in front of your eyes. The man that you saw with her blurred vision, distorted by the rain and tears, showed no emotion on his face, while simply looking down at your fragile figure.

“You’re in the way.” he reprised harshly, “I can’t go in if you sit here like that.” his hands were gripping tightly onto the black umbrella that was keeping him dry from the rain.

“O-oh..” you babbled, quickly raising your arm and wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your (already) wet hoodie, and an unaudiable “I’m sorry.” left your lips, while moving to the side of the stairs, wanting to make some space for the man in front of you.

“Why are you crying?” the man spoke one more time with his honey-like voice.

“Excuse me for being rude, but I think it’s none of your business, sir.” you replied severely, annoyed by the fact that the boy still hasn’t moved from his spot, and still stood in front of you.

He snorted under his breath, after hearing that you called him ‘sir’.

“You’ve been sitting here like an idiot for almost 4 hours, waiting for that boy, with no one caring why you’re sitting here, even when you deeply hope that someone will ask you and you’ll be able to tell them about it.” the stranger said, with his eyes still fixed on your small figure, “But when someone finally ask you a simple question, you act like a child and decide to bite back. And for your information, I’m not that old to be called 'a sir.' ”

“Okay, Mr. I know everything. Perhaps I’m sitting here like an idiot, as you said, because I was deeply hoping that one person for which I trully care, decides to maybe also care more about me.” you paused for a second, and then looked down while letting a small sigh of disappointment, “I guess you’re actually right. I am an idiot.”

Even if you didn't want to accept it, he was right.

The man still had his eyes glued to your silhouette for some seconds, then let out a small sigh and with one of his hands in his coat, he moved the umbrella above your head, even when it meant that he was the one who’s going to get wet now.

When you finally noticed that rain suddenly stopped pouring on your body, you looked up at him, eyes filled with confussion. The boy took one of your hands, and put the hold of the umbrella into it, which you immediately wanted to give back, but he didn’t let you.

You felt confused, totally lost in her thoughts. You didn’t know why that stranger decided to act like this towards you.

But the sweet stranger knew something more about all of this situation that you were unfortunately dragged into.

Because Yoon Jeonghan knew and had seen everything, just from the other perspective.

“Mind telling me the right reason why you’re here?” Jeonghan muttered, with his eyes resting on your red from crying face.

He was studying it for the past few minutes, trying to catch every single emotion that appeared on your face. It was really easy for him as he did that many times with the others, unless you.

Your face didn’t show anything. Like anything at all.

“It’s.. about my boyfriend. He just left me, and left the country without even saying anything to me.” finally, you started to narrate the whole story, while playing with your fingers, “I wanted to meet him before he leaves, but he didn’t reply to any of my texts. He was acting so weird when he messaged me last time. I couldn’t figure out what was going on..” you mumbled, burying your face into your arms that were resting on your knees, still holding the black umbrella.

As soon as Jeonghan heard that, he pursed his lips together while looking away for a second, as he immediately called the memory off.

a few months ago.

“Hyung~ Come on! Do it for me.” Chan whined, with his phone in his hands, sitting on the floor next to Jeonghan’s bed, “I’m too nervous to talk to her. There’s no way I can do it. Oh come on~” the boy observed Jeonghan’s face as he was scrolling through something on his phone, leaning against the headboard of his bed.

“Why should I say something you should say? No.” Jeonghan replied, not even looking at him once.

“I don’t know what I should say, that’s why!” Chan explained himself, slightly raising his voice, “What do I say?” the younger one added.

“Just tell her the truth.” Jeonghan said shortly, “She is worth it.”

Chan raised himself up, moving closer to Jeonghan, “How can I do that? I could never! It’s way too humiliating.” the boy said, “Ah, damn it!” he cursed under his breath as he moved away from the older boy, “This is all your fault!” Dino yelled, while pointing at Jeonghan.

“Pardon? How is it even my fault?” the older boy widened his eyes a little, turning off his phone and looking at the younger one, confused, “It’s not my fault that you lost your temper, and said that you’re going to study abroad without even telling your girlfriend anything, just because your friends teased you.” Jeonghan poured out, slightly getting annoyed by Chan's careless ways of doing some things.

“It was because those jerks were debating on whether I’ll attend any college or not, while bringing up my 6th place at the dance competition in 9th grade! And..” he stopped for a second, letting out a sigh, “Ah, nevermind. It’s still your fault.” Chan added, while watching Jeonghan’s impassive behavior.

“Oh come on, hyung!” the younger one yelled one more time, while sticking out his hand with the phone on it.

Jeonghan, not being able to take it anymore, put his hand out lazily, and Chan quickly approached him, and placed his phone carefully on the boy’s hand. He made himself next to Jeonghan, crouching down next to his bed.

y/n <3:

you keep leaving me on seen.

are you really going to japan?

where are u?

are u ignoring me or what?

yah!

lee chan answer me right now

Jeonghan read through the messages, and stared at them for a second, before typing something on the keyboard of Chan's phone.

dino(saur) <3:

sorry for not telling you before.

y/n <3:

let’s meet somewhere

and talk about it in person

please

The older boy turned his head slightly, looking at the worried boy next to him, “Will you meet her?” he asked, to which the Chan widened his eyes and quickly responded, “No! Let’s just get past today by now. I’m going to fix everything later anyways.”

Jeonghan sighed at the younger one’s reply, trully disappointed. He didn’t like the way how he acted towards her, and how he was creating so many excuses while making everything even worse. But for another time, he just started typing something.

dino(saur) <3:

sorry, but i can’t right now.

y/n <3:

i’ll be there in 15 minutes

come out

chan please

dino(saur) <3:

no, don’t come.

i can’t go out now.

y/n <3:

i don’t care

i’m gonna wait until u come

dino(saur) <3:

y/n.

i can’t.

y/n <3:

dude omg

ure so annoying

wait

why do u suddenly use correct grammar

use punctuation

don’t make shortcuts

call me by 'y/n' and not any pet name

and don’t make any typos

chan, u feeling okay?

Jeonghan looked at your messages, his face twisted in a grimace, then turned his head once again to Chan, “You’re not using correct grammar? And you make typos?” he asked, quite shocked by the maknae.

“Yeah,” the boy replied casually, but suddenly he widened his eyes open and looked at his friend, “Oh my god, no, no, no, no. Did she catch on?” he looked over Jeonghan’s hand, noticing all of the messages that Jeonghan wrote, that were written perfectly.

The boy winced, letting out a groan as he looked at Jeonghan once again, “Couldn’t you make any mistakes? Hyung!~ Seriously?!”

Jeonghan sighed, slightly cringing at the boy’s words, “Aish.. That school you attented didn’t teach you anything.” he muttered under his breath, as he looked at the chat one more time.

y/n <3:

chan

please be honest with me now

are u breaking up with me?

if u won’t respond i’m going to take this as a yes.

The older boy slightly panicking, quickly turned the phone off, and tossed it over to the boy next to him, with anxiety buzzing in his veins.

“From now, you have to decide.” he mumbled as he grabbed his own phone from the bed, and got up, probably trying to find Joshua as fast as he could so that he could help him escape from the younger one.

“What?” the confused boy looked at Jeonghan in shock, “Yah, hyung! Where are you going?!” he got up quickly, eager to follow Jeonghan but the boy had already run away from the room.

Chan hasn’t moved from his spot, thinking about what he should text Min.

And if it was even necessary to reply.

back to the present time.

“Do you really like him that much?” Jeonghan snorted as he muttered in lower voice, what made you immediately raised up your head.

“Excuse me?” you snarled while looking at him, confused by his words.

“Everyone knows that you’re waiting for the boy from the 10th floor.”

Your grip immediately tightened around the hold of the umbrella, as you let out a small scoff, “So everyone already knows, but not the one that should know about that, huh?” you looked away, trying to hold back the tears that have already started to appear in the corners of your eyes once again.

“He’s not even here.” Jeonghan said coldly, and you could feel how a shiver ran down youe spine. She didn’t know if it was from the cold or actually from the way he talked. “He went to Japan for his college a few months ago. Then why are you waiting for him here?” the boy lied, as he perfectly knew that Chan was soundly asleep now, after his long dance practice.

“Then where else should I wait for him, huh?” you started, and you could already feel and hear how your voice began to break a bit, “This is the only spot where I can wait for him. It’s the only place I know.”

Jeonghan had his eyes settled on your face for the whole time, “And what if you’ll see him. What will you say?” the boy tilted his head, while narrowing his eyes.

You hesitated for a second before spilling out quietly, “I don’t know.. I feel empty, and I’m just sad. About everything.” you bit your lower lip nervously.

The boy let out a sigh, “What’s making you feel sad?” Jeonghan gave you another question, what made your breath tremble.

You were acting stupid.

“We haven’t even had a proper date yet..” you started, “We haven’t had a sleepover together, we haven’t bought matching outfits yet.. and we haven’t even kissed yet..” and right after saying the last sentence, you completely broke down in front of the stranger, with tears flowing down your cheeks.

Jeonghan couldn’t watch you in this state. Even if he didn’t want to, his heart was aching painfully every time as he saw how hurt you were just because of Chan.

You deserved more. The boy felt like he had to do something. Now.

‘I’m seriously going to regret this.’ he thought to himself, as he let out a small hum before lowering himself, and quickly moving closer to you. 'But I don’t care.'

Soon after, he placed one of his hand on your cheek and his soft lips met together with yours, collapsing them in a gentle, but overfilled with emotions, sweet kiss.

And that’s how you remembered your first kiss. It was with that stranger. It all tasted like rain, mixed together with your tears and that weird feeling deep inside your stomach.

But you already knew right then and there, that you won’t be able to avoid him or his love.

After a while, Jeonghan pulled away from you, and looked deeply into her cat-shaped eyes. But as soon as he did that, he felt like he was almost about to lose his breath as he finally saw how beautiful it was.

Jeonghan didn’t regret anything.

When you could also observe a little his face (under the cover of being shocked) you also found out that the stranger was actually incredibly handsome. Chan was indeed really attractive in many ways, but as you could take such a close look at the stranger in front of you, he just looked ethereal, and like a literal angel. Especially now. When the wet strands of his black, long hair were slightly falling over his forehead, with water still dropping off of it, with his soft, slightly parted lips, and his breathtaking gaze that was fixed right on you.

“He really doesn’t deserve you, y/n.” Jeonghan uttered, being so close to your face, “You really deserve someone better.” for example, me.

The boy sent you a gentle smile, as he really tried to hold himself back from yoy. Then, Jeonghan passed by your figure, walking into the building, completely wet by the rain.

You slowly raised her hand, and placed your fingers on your lips where you could still feel the lips of the stranger that were still on yours not so long ago.

It was just a gentle kiss, but you still could feel it.

All of it happened so suddenly, that you still couldn’t understand what just happened. But as soon as you recalled everything in your head one more time, you asked yourself only one question.

How did he even know your name?

Maybe they weren’t really such strangers to themselves?

#yoon jeonghan #jeonghan #seventeen #jeonghan fanfic #svt fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan angst #jeonghan x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #yoon jeonghan scenarios #yoon jeonghan imagines

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lavender-long-stories · 6 months

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Spoilers for Red Memories Chapter 1

HERE IT IS, THE BABY I HELPED BRING TO THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

Context: I have been trying to write Red Memories for a long time, long and had a lot of notes on it before I was ever finished with Lavender Memories, but I always struggled because 1 I was putting him back too far (before he came back to the village) and 2 he was always just a little too much of a jack ass.

Nari's solution to this was to make him a pathetic little anxious mess. I don't know why it never came to mind. It's perfect. Take away the rage from Lavender Memories and leave more of his given up on life.

While I was reading the first paragraphs about how Sasuke felt I was thinking like "imagine if this bitch just got a rock thrown at him lmao", but anyway.

children's training accident -> severe brain damage -> heart-wrenching romance

His last and yet confused memory about Hinata was a mission, did it trully happen or nah? Because I want to know about them going in missions together and getting to know each other.

>.> to be revealed

But I need to point out that I love it when a character is scared of people being soft and nice with them because they're not used to it or because they are so used to being treated like shit/used to scaring other people away but then they absolutely MELT when they get some... ugh... English doesn't have the word carinho so kindness will have to do.

I remember you going on a tirade because you wanted to use a word that didn't have a good equivalent in English.

I love writing all the small moments that show love. The touches, the understanding without words, the movement of two people who understand each other. I will take it over any kiss scene.

Imagine how much it would suck to start your day with your amnesiac husband not remembering you and calling you "the Hyuga girl" when you are very much an Uchiha girl. Damn. At least his wife is pretty as fuck, this is a pro.

Hinata is so familiar with him that it took her all of two seconds of him flinching from her to figure it out.

But the Rinnegan feeding him his lost memories is a funny detail.

>.> Stop looking at my notes.

Sasuke thought Hinata was going to use the murder mittens on him when in reality she just went for a hug, I don't know if the hug is better or worse for him in this case. Touch-starved depressed man deserves some hugs. He is so baby, I feel so bad for him lol I wish him all of the comfy fluffy and warm best.

When you are so used to violence that a hug is what you least expect.

T-T

Red Memories Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata Rating: T

Sasuke wakes up to a life he never expected.

Hinata flattened her fiddling hands in her lap. “I’m waiting.” Sasuke huffed. “Waiting for what?” “You to say something you will regret later.” Hinata smiled.

Tags: Romance | Memory Loss | Fluff | Angst | Happy Ending

#sasuke x hinata #sasuhina #hinata hyuuga #hyuga hinata #comment highlight #nari i blame you

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hopeheartfilia · 2 years

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I. may have literally taken someones phone for a minute but. I jistw nated to know, and only thing thats suprising me is that my top artist is apparently fall out boy (unexpected). i am apparently in their 0,5% of listeners? I havent been lsitening to them much this year

However my most binged artist was sleeping at last, which was expected

anyway really nice way to say that when i wasnt playing my preferred zuko playlist, i was playing the wwx playlist

anyway i think ive never had this many artists, also my top podcasts are The Magnus archives, Anime Game Vibes (for. uh.. binging rich boy x world is spinning for a week straight) and Tiny light tbhk ending - hanako version

To be fair, wrapped always hits me like Yes I see how this might be right for the summer but I cant conceptualise time and also I am never listening to the same music as i was the rest of the year

#spotify wrapped #i am pleased i ahve blue #but i have trully been called out with that angst #but also wtf #anyway Rude-a is my top song im happy enough with that #i played it everytime i went skating so it shows i actually kept up with it the entire spring and a large portion of the summer

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willowistic22 · 3 years

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The Escape (Jack and Race)

Race had been taken to the refuge and Jack can’t stop worrying about him. He hasn’t formed an escape plan yet but he still had to make sure he’s okay till a plan forms. But in a twist of events, the awaiting escape plan no longer serves a purpose because Race had broken himself free from the hellhole.

Words : 3826

Part : -

Warnings : Violence, abuse, child abuse (the refuge), blood, bruises, scars, injuries, nightmares, caps, angst (boy that’s heavy uhh-)

A/N : aaand we’re back! abt damn time i know i’m sorry. but this one here is special because it’s my gift for @deliciouspeachpirate for the @newsiesgiftexchange filmiversarry yay!! I apologize for being a few days late so I trully hope you enjoy this one. The warnings are pretty heavy ngl, but hey you requested ‘coming back from the refuge’ and this was the only idea that popped out. hehehehe n ee wayyssssss enjoy and have a happy filmiversary buddy!!

The worrying will never stop. As much as the others had told him it was a bad idea, he had to see him. Maybe if Jack had checked up on his friend, he wouldn’t blame himself all that much. Or maybe it’d make the blame game even worse. Either way, Jack had to make sure he’s okay. He had known Race the longest. And because of that, he feels like he owes him this.

The refuge is a pretty terrifying place to be. Sometimes it still haunts Jack in the most cruel way possible. Being back here still makes his skin crawl. His heart can be heard thumping faster in his ears. His hands tremble a little more than usual when the cold night breeze makes contact with his skin. He’d think that his fears over this hellhole would fade away after being here multiple times. Either it being because Snyder caught him or he’s there to see one of his newsies while trying to come up with an escape plan.

The building feels like a skyscraper because of how small the four story building makes him. There were memories where it wasn’t the building that made him feel small, but the monsters behind them. Regardless, he pushes his fears away for the time being and makes his way towards his usual path he uses to sneak in the building. He scales the wall on the side of the building utilizing the different objects around him.

He sees the little window he usually uses to look in just ahead. He just needs a few more steps to reach it and- wait.

A loud fragile sound made Jack duck low, thinking that he might’ve been seen. However, the window he’s trying to reach is slowly turning into glass shards. Jack waits it out but observes the movements from the darkness. He did not plan on seeing an escape plan going in motion.

A leg started to weakly kick down the metal bars covering the window that was previously there. The sound of the metal bars whining to break free filled the silent void of the night. Jack worried it might alert the guards and the kid might get caught.

First kick, a little movement.

Second kick, it started to lose its grip on the wall.

The third kick is what got it to fully break free.

Jack smiles seeing their success. His thoughts wandered to the possibilities of maybe utilizing that escape hole to break Race out right now. Well, his thoughts were soon diminished when he saw the kid that kicked down the bars slipped out through the hole. It was Race.

He wasn’t thinking all that much the moment he recognized the tall and lanky figure. Jack’s mind went straight to catching his attention, “Race!”

It made the other boy flinch. He snaps his head towards the source of the sound with his usual pearly white face going pale. His body frame pulses along with his heavy breathing a little too dramatic for Jack’s liking.

But upon realizing it was a trusted friend, Race scrambles over towards Jack. His tone breathless from all that heavy breathing, “Jack!”

Jack lets Race crash into him. His head curling into the crook of his neck and letting his bright blond curls nestle right in place. But it’s not as soft as Jack was familiar with. Actually, nothing about Racetrack is familiar now. His torso had always been lanky but Jack knows it had muscles packed into it. His hands are wrapping Race’s body in the hug and he can feel that his body has gotten a little smaller than the last time they met. He even notices the tears and rips all over his clothes. Some are also exposed to red liquid which Jack could only assume had to be blood.

Jack pulls away from the hug, wanting to investigate even further. He holds Race’s shoulder as far as arm’s length for a better look. There were scars, bruises, blood drips. The corner of his eyes were a little red. The blue sky he kept in his iris was in a different shade of blue. It wasn’t cheerful or friendly. It was locked away from seeing the adventures he and his friends would have after selling papes. In the span of two weeks, it has seen every form of cruelty in the world. Jack could tell it still stuck pretty close to him when he took note of the tear streaks on his cheeks.

“Oh, Race” Jack frowned at his friend, “What did they do to you?”

Race couldn’t answer. His voice was caught by his tongue that was begging to cry his heart out. Jack knows he can’t contain his emotions any longer. If the dam broke, the whole refuge might know an escape was in motion right now.

He ushers the boy down from the height they were from. Race’s hand, weak and frail, is slinged over Jack’s shoulders for extra support. Jack would carry him but he’s far too heavy. So he lets Race lean his weight on him. Jack would prefer them to be going a little faster since they’re still walking out in the open, but he can’t make Race limp any faster than what he’s already doing.

“I can’t believe you broke out on your own, Race” Jack exclaimed under his breath. They’ve reached the first alleyway in their journey for cover. Now both of them are breathing heavily. But Jack is more concerned over Race’s heavy breathing because it hasn’t stopped since the moment they saw each other.

“Heh… Well... You know me…” Race voiced between heavy breaths, making it sound like it’s no big deal.

“Save your strength, Higgins. We still got a long way to go” Jack stopped him from talking any further.

They continue on their journey through the streets and towards the lodge. They utilize the minimal lighting at this hour of the night to their advantage. Avoiding bulls and other sorts of big crowds by ducking low near the shadows and dirty alleyways. Race had mostly used Jack to stand up straight but every so often he kept toppling over. So Jack’s brain formed a plan to keep close to walls so Race can also lean on them when he feels he’s losing his balance.

“Kelly…”

“What is it, Race?” Jack instantly replied. He felt his heart breaking when he mostly heard exhausted air in Race’s tone. It’s not his usual loud and nasally voice. It didn’t ring loud throughout the room like the times when he celebrated his victory in winning card games at the lodge against the others. Or in the same way he’d announce the headlines to strangers on the street.

“...Am tired” Race said.

“I know you are but-” Jack started as he tried to readjust his grip on Race, “-You gotta stay awake, aight? You gotta help me help you back to the lodge”

The other end of the alleyway they’re in right now is only a few feet away from them. But the more they walk, the slower Race’s steps are. Jack can see the bloody and trembling feet trying its hardest to keep up. Race is basically being carried by Jack at this point, despite their efforts on trying to keep this a team effort.

“Jack…” Race called out again. He takes one last step forward before collapsing towards the nearest wall.

“Woah, woah, Race!” Jack tried his best to catch him but failed miserably when he ended up tumbling over along with the boy.

Jack frantically gets himself away from the boy to avoid harming him any further. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem like he did any damage. But it doesn’t change the fact that Race’s legs had given up on him. His back is against the wall, a bit toppling over to the side from the fatigue. He takes deep and tiring breaths which causes his chest to pulse up and down slowly.

“Hey, c’mon, Race! Ya can’t give up now!” Jack tried to get his eyes to open, straightening the boy’s dirty cheeks as gentle as he can.

“One… minute… please…” Race said in between breaths. He nestles his head in Jack’s hands. His face is cold and weak against Jack’s skin. It’s beyond terrifying to see him like this.

Jack can’t do anything at this point other than to obey what Race wants. Jack has a feeling the refuge guards are already out there looking for Race so maybe it is better to rest for a few minutes. With their kind of walking pace, they’re bound to get caught. Though every so often Jack shakes Race’s face when his eyes have been closed for a bit too long. He doesn’t wanna risk letting it close for too long to the point that it won’t open again.

Slowly, Race gets a hold of his breathing. He relaxes into his resting position with one big sigh. The gap between his two eyelids are very small, but as long as Jack can see it then he’s fine. Jack still thinks they need to get out of here as soon as possible. The alleyway can’t provide them cover for this long and the refuge guards won’t leave no stone unturned.

“Okay, times up” Jack exclaimed, putting Race’s hand around his shoulders. It’s still weak and cold against Jack so he’s praying that it’ll be strong enough to hold onto Jack as they continue to walk, “Let's get you home, Race”

Jack helps the boy stand up again, one trembling feet after the other. Jack puts an arm around Race’s waist for extra support before taking the first step. But Race’s feet missed the ground and slipped on his own. He came crashing to the little muddy puddle on the ground.

“Please, don’t give up, Race” Jack begged as he kneels down to get him again.

Race was still breathing but he couldn’t respond any more than muffled noises. Jack tries the same technique to get him up again, but it’s no use seeing that Race’s limbs just slides out of his grip.

“No, no, Race, please!” Jack pleaded while gripping on his hand. The volume was a bit too loud for his liking but at this point he doesn’t care anymore. He just wants Race to get up.

Bam!

A door on the other side of the alley wall opened. It made Jack flinch towards the source of the sound. His hands reflexively trying to cover a weak Racetrack but still balled into a fist in case he needs to fight. But the boy’s fingers loosen up the moment he fully realizes who opened the door up.

“Jack?” The lady in the doorway spoke. It was followed by loud music coming from the building, but it was clear enough that Jack could tell who it belonged to.

“Ruby!” He called out.

It was one of the Bowery Beauties that Jack had befriended while hanging around Medda’s theatre. From the looks of the building she had existed, it appears that Race and Jack had made it to the theatre. Jack was too focused on getting Race home to take a minute to examine his surroundings. But that’s not the priority now. The priority is finding a place to lay low because it’s obvious that Race is in no condition to walk back to the lodge.

Ruby became the second set of hands to help Jack get Race to safety, which is inside the theatre. She’s not in her usual purple, pink, and feathery costume, which means she doesn’t have a performance tonight. She has time to help out.

They make quick work entering the building. Some backstage crew stopped and stared at the trio making their way across the floor. It’s not every day they get bloody young guests like them.

They find a secluded area of the theatre. An old couch left to dust alone will do just fine for Race. Ruby lays his head on the cushions cautiously to avoid breaking his fragility. Jack puts his legs up on the couch and proceeds to make him as comfortable as he can get on the small couch.

“Jack? What’re you do— OH MY GOODNESS!” A different voice shrieked. It was probably loud enough for some people in the audience to hear it, but that’s unimportant. Jack turns his head to see Ms. Medda standing in her usual pink costume to perform.

“Hey, Ms. Medda” Race said weakly with a small smile.

Jack stands there for a few seconds, frozen from the surprise encounter before he could reply to her, “He got out of the refuge like this!”

“Ruby, get the medical supplies in my dressing room!” Medda said as he approached the frail boy on the couch while Ruby quickly made her way towards the dressing room.

“Don’t worry… I’se been through worse…” Race tried to play it off like a joke. But neither Jack or Medda thought it was funny.

Medda and Ruby couldn’t stay to help because Medda’s cue was in five minutes and Ruby had to help out the other Bowery Beauties that are on for tonight get ready. Jack doesn’t mind because he can patch his friend up by himself.

Carefully, he helps Race unbutton his shirt and roll his pants up. Jack then starts by cleaning the bruises, cuts, and whatnot with a piece of cloth soaked in some water. It wasn’t that cold, yet Race still shivers against the touch when it makes contact with his skin. Some were even painful enough to cause him to flinch. But it slowly became bearable as Jack continued.

“I can’t believe ya broke outta there on your own, Race” Jack said after a long period of silence. The vacancy was mostly filled with the noises coming from the front stage, the cheering audience, noises behind the stage, or Race’s yelp of pain when Jack accidentally dabbed the cloth on the wrong spot.

“Why’d you do it?” Jack asked, putting the wet cloth down. It was now full of red stains soaked in water.

Race stayed silent for a few minutes. Jack guesses he needs time to let the feeling from the newly washed damaged skin settle on him because it’s obvious he’s trying to concentrate to breathe. In the end he cracked a smile on his face and replied, “Got bored… thought I’d get some fresh air”

That doesn't sound convincing in Jack’s book. He knows how Race jokes and that doesn’t sound like a joke. Jack squints his eyes to examine his expression even further for one good minute. From his smile, to his eyes, and even down to his soul, he can see the lie. But there was something in between that tells him not to make a fuss about it for the time being.

For the time being, Jack listens to it and just nods at the answer. He diverts his focus towards the bandages he’s gonna use to cover up some of the damage that has been done on his friend. Race surprisingly didn’t squeak in pain the whole way through. Whether it was because Jack’s hand had adapted to the kind of delicacy needed for Race’s situation or because the pain was now bearable enough, Jack was just glad to hear no noise that indicates he’s in pain. Though he makes it his mental priority to check up on him later.

The two boys didn’t plan on staying for long. They still need to journey back to the lodge. But it got pretty late at night and even Jack didn’t argue with Medda about staying for the night. After the last show of the night ended, most of the lights had gone out yet there were still plenty of people doing some work around the theatre at this hour. The absence of the audience made the theatre lose its life. Jack finds it a little terrifying but he guesses that’s just the magic of theatre.

It got him to stay wide awake. He knows he’ll regret it later in the morning but he cannot get his mind to settle in this new sleeping environment. Jack is sitting upright on the wooden floor next to the couch Race uses. He seems to be relishing in the sleep.

Poor kid, probably didn’t sleep in the refuge. Jack thought to himself as he observed the sleeping Race for a few seconds. At least one of us is sleeping.

Jack decides to grab a random paper and pencil nearby and do some light sketches to wait till he gets sleepy. This technique worked back at the lodge so it should work right now. The drawing starts with random shapes that make no sense. He’ll figure out what it is as he keeps going.

A Rustling noise caught his attention. He flinches his head up from his drawing towards the sound. He still sees a sleeping Race on the couch. But he’s not peaceful. Race starts flinching and rolling around in his sleep. Mumbles of words laced with fear escape his mouth in between his breathing that’s slowly getting deeper and quicker.

Jack puts the paper and pencil down before going over to where Race is. He curiously observes the scared boy before him, cowering into himself from whatever sight he sees in his dreams. He gently shakes Race awake while whispering, “Racer? Racer? Racer, wake up!”

He startles awake with a loud gasp for air, slightly sitting himself up. Jack takes a step back to give the boy some space. His chest pulses up and down in a state of panic. Blue eyes dart all over the dark scenery. But he calms down once he turns to the side to see a friend sitting by his side.

“Easy there, Race” Jack said, approaching the boy once again, “Everything okay?”

Race freezes at that question for a second before answering, “Yeah... yeah, I’m good”

Jack squints his eyes at his unbelievable words and tilts his head to the side. But he says nothing about it, telling himself that it’s probably not the best time to question him about it.

“Alright…” Jack said. He proceeds to lie down on the floor as if to return to his previous slumber state again, “...let’s head back to bed”

Race says nothing to that other than a nod. He gets himself comfortable again, but still keeps an eye on his injuries. He shuts his eyes completely again with a slower breathing pace. Jack pretends to sleep to keep an eye on Race.

Just as he suspects it, he isn’t back to sleeping. Race flips from sleeping on one side to the other. Jack can even see his eyes flickering open every so often, like he’s afraid to close his eyes again.

“Race?” Jack voiced out again, “Are you sure everythin’s okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine” Race replied, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jack frowns at the lies. Even in the dark, Race can definitely see the frown. He answers that expression with an annoyed look. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it now, but Jack can’t let it slide that quick when it’s obvious he’s bothered by something.

From the distance, the two boys hear captivating vocals coming from the front stage. It caught their attention away from their wordless conversation. They turn their heads towards it. They see that one of the stage entrances is still bright from a light source coming from the front stage. It just so happens that the source of the singing is also coming from that direction. Jack recognizes the voice to belong to Ms. Medda. He guesses that she’s doing a late night practice.

Which gives him an idea.

“Hey, wanna see Medda sing for a bit?” Jack suggested to Race.

The other boy didn't respond for some time but ended up nodding to the suggestion. Jack proceeds to help him up on his feet again. With the pain all over his body, Race carefully limps along with Jack.

As they emerge to the stage, they see the beautiful sight that is Ms. Medda trying out a new tune while being accompanied with some soft piano. There’s only a few lights on, but it’s enough to make the singer shine like a diamond. The two boys stare in awe as they take a seat on the edge of the theatre.

The first short seconds of watching her brought peace to Race. Jack could see a smile forming on his face in the corner of his eyes. The eyes that were previously filled with fear had faded away and were replaced with awe. He isn’t surprised. Medda never fails to cheer anyone up.

The tranquility settles onto Race like it’s always meant to be there. He puts his head on Jack’s shoulder with a loud sigh. Jack only chuckles at the sight of his plan working. They’d definitely regret losing the sleep in the morning, but right now there were no such things as regrets.

“I couldn’t take it anymore” suddenly Race said. At this point, they’ve been watching Ms. Medda for a while now. Jack isn’t sure what coaxed him into talking nor does he know what he’s talking about, however he might have an idea.

Jack only turned his head towards the boy. Race took it as a cue to elaborate even further.

“Back in the refuge. It was… different than the last time I was there” Race said, eyes locked towards his bruised fingers tracing lines on the floorboard of the wooden stage.

“How different?” Jack hesitated in voicing his question.

“There were more guards. Stricter rules. Way more kids” Race explained. He lifted his eyes to meet Jack’s. Jack can tell there’s the fearful memories flashing before him in his brain, “Little kids, Jack! Some of them were smaller than eight!”

“And the guards were more ruthless than before” Race continued, “They punched a kid for walking too slow. And that was because they haven’t slept properly for so long”

Jack puts a hand around the boy’s shoulder. It got Race to lean further towards Jack, soaking up the warmth he craves.

“I got out because I couldn’t take it anymore” Race admitted, “It was… scary and… cold a-and just…”

When the voice started breaking, Jack held the boy tighter, “Sshh, it’s okay. You’re here now”

“I know, but those other kids…” Race continues, “I saw them in my sleep a-“

His next words were stuck in the tight of his throat. Race pulls his knees up and curls into himself as the tears he was previously holding back starts to stream down his face. His breathing gets mixed up with his cry.

Jack leans in closer to hug his friend. He rubs circle on the boy’s back as he sobs his fears out quietly. The mini performance before them has been long forgotten by the two boys.

“You’re okay. You’re home” Jack whispered, “We won’t let them get to ya”

#random writing #newsies #jack kelly #racetrack higgins #jack newsies #race newsies #tw abuse #tw violence #tw child abuse #tw injuries #tw blood #tw scars #tw bruises #tw nightmares #tw caps

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violetnotez · 4 years

Text

Is the this the longest fic Ive ever written? Yes. Does it suck? Also yes. Will nobody read it because it makes no sense but Im still going to post because I wasted way too much damn on this thing? TRIPLE YES.

Word count: 10.4k words (she thicc)

Genre: Angst and Fluff, sfw

AU: Fantasy AU!, Hanahaki disease

Prompt: “How could your keep this from?”

Warnings: blood

Summary: You are born into a worls where you must marry your best friend, Prince Shoto, in order to unite your kingdoms in harmony. You are happy to marry your childhood friend and love, until he leaves for a quest unannounced, and you are left questioning if you really want to marry him. Once he returns a few weeks before your planned wedding, you begin to not fall in love with him, but one of his comrades- the barbarian, Bakugo.

*this is for the even for @bnhabookclub! Heres the link to the post if your interested!

Again. welcome to the shitshow that is my blog. read at your own risk cause this gets REAL WIERD REAL QUICK

Petals-all you could see were the petals.

Your mouth and throat felt so dry, your forehead damp with sweat as your back convulsed painfully, raspy coughs wracking out of your chest as you forced the petals out of your body.

They were so pale, like creamy vanilla, a stark contrast from the droplets of your blood splattered on the delicate buds.

You quickly reached for your handkerchief, wiping the residue off your dry mouth in fear of it dribbling on to your white dress-your wedding dress. Your hands were shaking, unable to cry any more tears at your misery-you had come to terms many weeks ago that you were going to reach an unhappy end.

Why did it have to be him?

----------------

You were the princess of your kingdom, destined to marry Prince Shoto of the neighboring kingdom. It was something you two had been accustomed to from birth- in order to connect the two kingdoms and end the quarrels between the two civilizations, you had to marry. It would be a harmonious marriage: Prince Shoto was kind, soft spoken, and a natural born leader. You two had been wonderful friends as siblings, your fathers putting away their troubles in order for you two to get along. They were hoping that by making you friends at a young age, you would learn to grow feelings for each other.

For a time, it worked-you had fallen for Prince Shoto, his soft yet powerful demeanor making you blush each time you remembered him, your young hands writing your name with his last in your journal like a prayer. At 13 you already began to count down the days until you would turn 18, because on that day, you were set to marry your predestined lover- Shoto Todoroki.

For years you had felt so lucky you were blessed with such a sweet boy to be with, being able to live out your lives harmoniously and in peace, something both your parents didn't have the luxury to have. It sometimes left you feeling frustrated- Shoto was truly kind, but very quiet about his thoughts. Your love felt one sided, Shoto seemingly only tolerating you because he had to.

Once he got older, he became more distant towards you, clearly wishing to rebel against his father’s wishes by being distant towards you. It hurt you immensely to see your best friend and crush plainly reject you, but you still held on to the hope that you two could be happy with each other. Yet all that changed when the Prince had left for a quest.

He had been gone for what seemed like an eternity and for a time, you were extremely worried. You could barely focus on your studies, only imagining your poor friend somewhere cold, hungry, and alone. You knew he would be fine, he was a resilient fighter, but yet you couldn't help but allow the worrisome thoughts to collect in your brain. After news that the Prince was in a neighboring kingdom, safely traveling with a young boy, a witch, and a warrior, you felt at ease- with all those comrades, he was sure to be safe. You finally breathed a sigh of relief, able to calm your anxieties after a long time of being unable to.

Information continued to trickle in, sometimes good and sometimes bad, but it always stated that the Prince was spotted safe and sound. You took solace in that information, and for awhile, you began to worry less and less about Shoto, until he was barely a memory.

During that time, you had begun to take on the habit of reading. Before it was a task you simply did when forced or extremely bored, only reading books and stories from your own kingdom.

With so much extra time on your hands waiting upon the Prince to return, you began to learn of other stories, ones that were trully a delight to you: stories of nomads who traveled the country and did rituals to bring them fortunes, women who sold potions by gathering mystical ingredients from the woods, people choosing their own destines and their own paths. It intrigued you- from birth you had one mission for your life: to unite your kingdoms. Once you married Prince Shoto, your destiny would be complete: and then what would you do? You had no other purpose, except being a symbol of that peace for the rest of your life, sitting pretty on a throne until your last breath.

It began to eat at your insides, gnaw at your conscience that you were merely a pawn in your father’s legacy. You could now fully understand why Shoto had been so defiant: he had realized the truth of his life as well.

Slowly, you began to learn to dread instead of anticipate your wedding day. With the Prince being gone, it was sending quite a ruckus in your home, your father more annoyed with each passing day that the Prince had not come back. You, on the other hand, rejoiced. The kings had both agreed at your times of birth that if anything happened to either child before your 18th birthday, the agreement would be cancelled and the marriage no more. They would rely on their children to fix their broken ties.

You had just turned 17, the mental clock beginning to tick in you and your father’s minds, as the Prince still wasn't back form his quest. Just a few more months, and you would both have your wishes: Shoto seemed to have no interest in marrying you, and why should you even for that matter? You two truly didnt love each other- your friendship was a hoax your fathers had created in order to save their own legacies. Your love for each other was man-made and a lie. Just a few more months, and you'd be free of this terrible fate.

------------

The day you turned 17 and a half, you were busying yourself on your plush pink bed, reading another novel about free spirited women in a far off land.

“Princess y/n,” your hand maiden opened the door quietly, afraid of disturbing you, “the King would like to speak with you.”

You gave your shy handmaiden a small smile, delicately marking the spot in your book as your feet landed on the cold floor.

“Thank you,” you replied, “Ill be there shortly.”

You entered your father’s study, his feet stomping the room heavily as he paced in deep thought.

The room was grand, a golden chair sitting in front of an old ebony desk, the room surrounded by maps, battle plans, and bookcases full of legends of stories written long before your time. Light flitted through long windows against the wall, looking out to the rural countryside and a matching red carpet run the lengths of the stone floors.

Your entrance seemed to have disturbed your Father’s train of thought, his head instantly looking to see who had interrupted him. Once he saw it was you, he sighed, greeting you with a tight smile.

“You wished to see me Father?’ you asked politely, your fingers tugging nervously at the sleeves of your dress. Your father never called upon you unless it was extremely important- had you done something wrong? You wracked your mind for any actions that would had been unwise for your father to find out, but to your surprise, you couldnt think of a single thing you had done.

“Yes, yes,” your father said hastily, waving his hands toward a small wooden chair at the foot of his desk, “please-sit. We have much to discuss.”

You sat on the hard chair, a chill traveling your back as you watched your father sit in his plush throne, his face clearly tired.

“As we all know, Prince Shoto has been on a quite a long quest for some time,” your father began, his voice deep with annoyance, “and has not come back. And with your 18th birthday fast approaching, and it worries me that the boy wont be back in time for your marriage. I have talked to King Todoroki about my worries, who also had the same fear, and he promised to bring the boy back and end his little shenanigan. But Shoto refuses to leave until his quest is complete.”

Your father took in a deep breath through his nose, his face a mix of anger and agitation.

Your heart beat excitedly- the prince wasnt coming back? The news bounced happily inside you, giving you some hope that you needed- that must have been why he had gone on that quest in the first place! Even though you were excited, you felt a tightness in your chest- you were childhood firend after all. He really didnt like you that much that he felt he had to run away?

“Oh dont look so solemn daughter,” your father comforted, his voice soft with sympathy,” Shotos father allowed the boy to finish his quest in 5 months’ time, and he is forced to return to his kingdom. In the meantime, we can not forget the whole reason for your marriage like young Todoroki has- you must connect the kingdoms in order to bring harmony.``

“Which is why,” your father added, “we must begin to plan the wedding.”

Your head shot up, the feeling of shock flooding your body. It was still going to happen? Your body began to feel heavy, your father's words fuzzy against your ear- you didn't want this, any of this. You felt trapped like a songbird in a cage, unable to scream out what you desperately wanted to say: if he didnt love you, you didnt want any part of this.

Your father seemed to not notice the look of terror on your face, continuing to inform you of his plan. “We already have sent out invitation to relatives and noblemen in other countries, as well as begin to plan out the festivities. It will be a 3 day event, full of food and parties and, of course, the celebration of our kingdoms coming together. The closer to the date, we will begin to need you for fittings of your dresses as well as rehearse your wedding vows and such. I promise I will make this as wonderful as I can, for you are my only daughter.”

The king smiled at you, wrapping your stiff body into a hug. You could barely feel his embrace- the world was numb to your screaming mind. You wished upon everything in you to end this, to make this all go away, but you knew you couldn't- you would be forced to do this whether you wanted to or not.

You simply nodded your head to your father’s parting words, and then ran to your quarters, shutting the door and ceremoniously throwing yourself on your bed in defeat.

--------------

For days you felt numb and broken, all fight leaving your body. You watched as all your handmaidens and servants ran like chickens around the castle, preparing for the enormous festivities coming in close time. You were a good and proper princes, silently placid and allowing everything around you to happen.

Flower arrangements, samples of sweets, and fabrics for your dresses all came to you, and you agreed to all of them or just randomly choose. You could care less for your “special day”- the only thing you could truly hope for was prince Shoto ignoring his father’s wishes and not coming back.

That, of course, was a wishful fantasy. You were having a blissful dream when your hand maiden barged into your room, clearly too excited to be considerate of your sleeping state.

“Miss y/n! Miss y/n! Oh please wake up! There is most wonderful news!” she cried excitedly, gently pulling the covers off your body, “You must get ready at once!”

“Prince Shoto- he is back from his quest!”

---------

The whole of the kingdom rejoiced at the news, since he had arrived a month before the wedding. He was here, ready to marry and unite the kingdom. That was all that truly mattered.

Your handmaiden dressed you in your most elegant gown, the icy aqua color bringing out the rosiness of your cheeks, as she placed pearly ornaments in your hair. You felt like you were being presented as a gift to the Prince, a reminder of what he was destined to do. You sighed, dreading having to reunite with your once friend and secret love.

Shoto was standing in the ballroom of your castle, very accustomed to it since you both played here occasionally as children. He was used to the golden floors and the crystal chandeliers the sizes of boulders, all hung gracefully in a row on the ebony ceiling. Him and his company were standing shoulder to shoulder, facing the polished staircase cascading towards them.

He looked at his new found friend’s faces, their expressions clearly in shock. Izuku, his face ruddy with dirt and his cheeks aflame from nervousness as he twisted his shirt between his fingers (a nervous tick Shoto had noticed). Uraraka gawked at the room around her in awe, her wide eyes drinking up the scene in front of her. Bakugo was least impressed, his arms crossed in front of his exposed chest and his eyes formed in judgmental slits.

Shoto had told the others before why he had to go back, but only after the quest was over- he wanted to help his new found friends, and after promising to help them in their battle, he would have felt extremely guilty leaving them behind.

Their reactions were mixed when he revealed he had a marriage in a few weeks time- Izuku was clearly shocked yet in awe hed be marrying a princess, while Uraraka seemed to find the situation romantic. Bakugo simply laughed, mocking him from being such a “sissy” for actually getting married in the first place.

Shoto was feeling conflicted inside at the moment- it had been so long since he had last seen you, and when he had, he was less than kind to you. He was quiet, distant, and quite petty about the whole situation of your marriage. You had turned barely 17 when he left, his young body desperate for some adventure and resilient to his father’s wishes. He merely saw you as a nuisance, someone in the way of his freedom. He knew it was unkind and unjustified, you didn't know what was going on inside him, but he was angry nevertheless and desperate to leave. So when he was approached by young boy in need of a friend for his quest, it was hard to resist the offer.

But as nights when on and he had time to be alone with his thoughts, his mind always seemed to travel to you. The way you giggled, your laughs sounding like chimes in the wind, or how your smile always seemed to make his skin tingle with warmth.

You were always a strange girl, but always in the best way, daring Shoto to races even thought your father said it was “unlike a princess to do so” or trying to braid Shoto’s mix-matched hair.

He would never forget the day he had allowed you to do so, your nimble fingers soft against his skin and making him burn up from nervousness. Your touch was so calming and soothing, your small compliments and soft voice sending his soul soaring with pleasure. It was then he realized he had loved you for you, not because he was forced to.

Shoto felt guilty for forgetting those cherished memories in his fits of anger, but he had agreed to help Izuku and he vowed to not give up on that promimse. Months went on, and Shoto couldnt tell how much time had passed: he only hoped you were doing okay without him.

It wasnt until his father had came to collect him that he realized how short he was on time. He had still stuck by his friends, yet the constant reminders of your wedding was in the air, haunting him. They would travel through kingdoms, the whispers of this event following him as the townspeople began to talk. It was a wonder his friends never caught on except him, only to find out weeks before your wedding.

Now Shoto was standing in the ballroom, feeling quite nervous- he hadnt seen you in so long….would you look any different? He was certain your beauty had grown by then, the thought of you looking older and more womanly bringing a blush to his cheeks. How would you see him? He had become quite a different person on his quest, his body becoming more hardened from battles with bandits and the harsh life of travelling. Would you feel the same for him still? Were you just as excited as you were so many years ago to finally be together?

Shoto heard the clicks of shoes on the wooden floor, a man with the straightest back he had ever seen standing proudly at the steps of the stairs.The man took a deep breath, his voice traveling through the room as he announced your arrival to the group of travelers.

Yet Shoto didnt hear a single word he said- he was enraptured by your beauty. You had seemed to turn into a fine young woman since he had last seen you, your curves accentuated by the tightness of your gown, the blue complimenting you perfectly. Your hair flowed in soft ringlets on your back, the pearls in your hair like stars. You were an angel blessed to this planet- an angel he was destined to marry.

The only thing that was worrying him was your expression- he had expected you to seem so much more lively, welcoming the bright smile you would always give him when you saw him. But now, your face was gone of any warmth, looking almost numb to the situation as you looked down at the group.

You traveled down the stairs, hating the way your name sounded in the announcer's voice. This was all so cliche- the Prince comes from a quest, and there is the Princess, simply a prize for his hardwork. A trophy of sorts for doing a good deed. Why did it have to be this why? Why couldnt you feel anything? The world had felt so cold for so long, feeling trapped due to the lack of control you had. Everything had seemed to loose its splendor and color, your vision for weeks turning gray in sadness-

Until you saw him.

The ash blonde boy, his hair unruly and his eyes a bright red like blood. He was clad in strange clothes, like a barbarian, his chest completely open and showcasing his taut muscles. You were intrigued by him- you had only seen likes of him in books and stories you read. He was so different, so menacing, and you wanted to know more. He was the only thing you could focus on, not taking any time to look at the others in the group, including Shoto.

Shoto was the first to reach you, unafraid to approach you like the rest of the group as you reached the bottom of the steps.

“Y/n-” he said, his voice deep and airy, “you look-wonderful.”

You gave him a small smile, but it made his heart sink- you didnt look happy at all. It seemed forced, far from the bright grins you used to send his way all the time.

“As do you, Shoto. You look quite different from when we last saw each other.”

You quickly turned your attention away from him, focusing on his new comrades instead.

“I assume these are the young heroes that accompanied you on your journey?”

“Y-yes!” the young boy with the unruly green hair stuttered, nervously bowing his head. He was quite adorable in a way, his small stature and freckles dusted on his cheeks giving him a child-like quality (even though he was most likely your age). “My name is Izuku Midoriya!”

You gave a reassuring smile to the young boy, trying to make him feel comfortable.

“It is wonderful to meet you Izuku.”

You began to walk towards the girl know, her pointy yet colorful hat signaling that she was a light witch, a sorceress who used your powers for good.

The girl shimmied in her dusty boots, clearly as nervous as the boy. She lifted the corners of her cloth dress, bowing slightly.

“My name is Ochaco Uraraka, your highness,” she smiled sweetly, her cheeks dusted in a pinky glow.

“Ochaco…” you mused over the name, its sound foregin yet light on your tongue, “you are a light witch, I assume?”

“Yes, yes I am!” the girl practically squealed, relief seemingly flooding her face. ‘How did you know?”

You giggled a her amazement at you, completely unaware apparently that she had the most witch-like outfit you had ever seen.

“A lucky guess,” you shrugged your shoulders playfully as you began to walk again, your heart beginning to race as you edged toward the barbarian.

You stopped in front of the man, his stature a head taller than yours. You eyes looked slightly up at him, your cheeks reddening- he was much more handsome up close, his rugged features making you feel breathless. He un-apologetically judged you with his vermilion eyes, looking you up and down with scorn.

Why did you find that so attractive?

“And you are-”

“My name is Bakugo.” he instantly interrupted you, his voice deep and velevty like syrup, “thats all you need to know.”

“Bakugo?” Your brain searched for any name similar to that, but found none- this boy was definitely a foreigner, most likely from far off lands you could only dream of. You had no idea why he followed Shoto back to the kingdom, but you were happy he did- he was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

“A warrior, I assume by your garments,” you nodded, your eyes trailing to his torso “and by the looks of your scars, an experienced one.”

He scoffed at your observations, his eyes rolling in his sockets.

“For a princess, your eyes wander a damn lot. But yeah- Im hella of a good warrior. Best in the kingdoms.”

You cocked an eyebrow at his language, your cheeks red by his comment. He was so unapologetic and rude, yet- it was intoxicating to you.

“I’m glad to here that.”

Shoto was eyeing you sadly the whole time- what was so different between you two? Why did you seem so welcoming to the others but so distant to him? His face began to turn red with fury as he watched you interact with Bakugo, the way Bakugo insulted you so plainly and cockily making him want to yell. He watched as your face had light up for just a moment when you spoke with him, something Shoto didn't get the luxury to experience.

He also noticed what Bakugo had vocalized- you eyes did wander when you looked at him. Shoto at first tried to rationalize that you were simply being curious, since Bakugo was definitely a strange sight for you, but the way your cheeks blushed and you smiled so warmly at him made him think otherwise.

What did you see in that barbarian that you didnt with Shoto?

You looked again at the odd group, taking a deep breath through your lungs.

“I want to congratulate you all for your successful quest,” you began, the lines slightly rehearsed, “and as thanks from my father for bringing back Prince Shoto, he would like to welcome you all for dinner tonight. We would love to hear all about your journey then,” you then snuck one last look at Bakugo, his eyes boaring into yours. It was making you feel a warmth inside that you had thought long ceased.

You instantly looked down at your hands, your cheeks feeling hot. You knew this was wrong- you shouldn't feel smitten for any other boy, especially this warrior, yet you couldnt help it- you were entranced by his resilience and the freedom he had, something you could only dream of.

“If youll excuse me, I have - things to attend to. It was a pleasure to see you all” you gave the group a tight smile, turning your back quickly from the group to follow your handmaiden back to your quarters.

Shoto watched you until you were gone, his heart beating painfully. He wished he could run up to you, grab you by your wrist and ask you what was the matter. It was still him, your friend for all those years, and you were still you, his love and his best friend. Were you beginning to forget, like he did? He felt his stomach drop painfully at the idea- he would ask you, tonight. He would figure out what had happened between you two, and fix it.

--------------

You were now at dinner, sitting stiffly as you moved your food around your plate, your tight corset making you feel un-hungry. All night you had been detached and quiet, feeling almost sick by your surroundings. Your father was overly outgoing to the guest,giving you side-eyed glances and trying to enter you in the conversation. You would simply smile and nod, occasionally throwing in a comment before returning to squishing your food between your utensils.

The only time you ever seemed interested was when Bakugo would speak. His comments were all snarky and rude, completely self centered about how strong or intelligent he was.

He was constantly proving his worth throughout the dinner, taking over the story of their journey when he saw fit, making sure everyone knew he was the most capable one of the group. It was obscene, his remarks, his language, even his personality, but- you were intrigued by it. The only person he had to listen to was himself. It was so intoxicating to watch him talk, to hear what other remarks would leave his mouth. Whenever he spoke, you stood up a little straighter, taking time to take in any information he gave about himself and immortalize it into your brain.

Shoto had felt awkward the whole meal, not knowing how to gauge your emotions. You seemed so distant, as if a stranger was sitting next to him. He wished he could enter your mind, detangle all the emotions and thoughts that were keeping you from being yourself around him. There was no laughter, no genuine smiles, no happiness came from you. This bothered him- you were usually so cheerful. His nervousness was eating the inside of his stomach, as his mind still couldn't figure out how to approach you after dinner.

“-and the wedding will be a three day celebration, full of festivities,” your father continued boisterously, his voice booming embarrassingly around the room, “Shoto and y/n will be the main attention, of course, over 200 noblemen will see them share vows-”

The sound of your chair pushing away echoed throughout the dining hall, making the whole group look to you. You cleared your throat delicately, a hand resting on your chest.

“Excuse me for my rudeness, but Im feeling- unwell,” you sighed a quick smile.

“Are you alright, do I need to-” the king asked, his eyes full of concern as you shook of his worries.

“Oh no, Im completely fine- just a headache,” you gave a pained smile, “I hope you all enjoy the rest of the meal.”

Shoto watched you walk away, desperate to make sure he knew which way you went in this large castle. He instantly pushed away from the table as well, rising quietly.

“I- uh-am full, thank you for the meal,” he bowed to the King slightly, placing his napkin on his plate as he rushed out, confusing the group that was left.

Izuku and Ochaco looked at each other, their cheeks red with embarrassment and shock as they looked at Bakugo, who was clearly not bothered by the disturbance. Ochaco then looked at the king, who was clearly confused by the whole ordeal, as an awkward air lay heavy on the table.

Ochaco hastily took a large bite from her plate, filling her mouth with food- “MMMMMM!” she exaggerated, trying to start up conversation again, “I LOVE the ham!”

------------

Shoto ran around the castle, looking through every corridor and door, searching for you.His head was racing, trying to organize his thoughts in his minds. He needed to figure out how to speak to you- should he act normal, like nothing was wrong? Should he be formal and see how that went? Angry? Upset? He didnt know how to approach you, but he knew he had to do it.

He finally saw your gown turn an empty hallway, his feet picking up pace. He quickly was able to catch up once he could pin point your location, his hand wrapping around your wrist in order to stop you.

You felt slender,cool fingers wrap around your skin, making your body run cold. You instantly jumped by the sudden touch, all breath leaving your body as you turned around quickly.

Your wide eyes met the mix matched orbs of Shoto, a small pang of annoyance filling your body from getting so scared.

“Shoto,” you replied breathlessly, slightly happy though it was only him and not somebody else that had grabbed you.

“I-uh-y/n,” he replied back, his mind going blank.

He let go of your wrists, his hands resting at the side of his body. “I-Im sorry to scare you like that,” he apologized, “I just- wanted to speak to you. If you’ll let me.”

You looked at the boy, his eyes now averting yours, probably from nerves. You decided to listen, turning your body to him.

“Apology accepted,” you said plainly, “What did you want to speak about?”

Shoto drew a blank- what did he want to talk about? He loved hearing your voice, finally only reserved for him, but yet you seemed preoccupied. Distant. Like you were on another world and not truly there with him.

He stared at you lightly, looking extremely conflicted. “I-I wanted to talk to you about what happened while I was gone.”

“You explained quite plainly what happened on your journey,” you replied, clearly not in the mood to talk, “I applaud you for your bravery, it must have been quite a difficult journey-” you gave him a small bow, your eyes gone of any warmth. “I really must go to bed, Im sorry, but i do feel-”

You began to walk away again, Shoto desperate to keep you near him. He walked in font you, blocking your path.

“You didnt here me correctly-” he changed his wording this time, trying to be as specific as possible. “I want to know what happened to you while I was gone.”

You eyebrows turned down in confusion. “What are you trying to say Shoto?”

He swallowed, trying to clear his dry throat as he licked his lips, conflicted.

“You seem-different.”

“Its been a year and a half since I last saw you, Shoto,” you reasoned, “of course Ill be different.”

“Yes, but-” he paused, “youre too different. Youre not the same y/n I knew.”

“Why? Because Im not following you around like a love sick puppy?” Annoyance began to bubble inside, feeling attacked by Shoto’s words. “Because I finally got over the fact you didnt love me ? You dont have to pretend Shoto, I know full well you only see me as a nuisance.”

Shock flooded Shoto’s system as your icy words pierced his skin. What happened to you? Yes, he was rude to you before he left, but he didnt feel like that anymore. That was a simple phase, were you going to define him by that?

“I dont see you as a nuisance, y/n.”

“Really?” you scoffed at his words. “then tell me why your father had to go out to find you twice before you finally decided to come back?”

“I made a promise to my friends. I had to finish my quest before-”

“You had a promise to me, Shoto!” you yelled exasperatedly, your heart bursting with hurt. “To your family! To my family! Our people! What was so much more important than that?”

“I was so worried about you Shoto, terrified for you. Those first few months I couldnt think of anything but you.” You were beginning to reveal a lot, too much, but the emotions, the hurt, the anger, was flooding out of you like a broken dam and you couldn't stop it.

“But then I realized that you didnt care for me. You thought I didn't notice how you gave me the cold shoulder those last few months? How you ignored me, only gave me quick answers, acted as if I was just a pest following you around? I remembered all of it, and then I realized- you left because of me.”

“You left because of me, didn't you, Shoto?” your voice was harsh and crude like metal, stabbing into Shoto’s conscience.

He stayed silent- how could he say anything back? Your words were making him feel small and foolish- he should have known that you would have noticed his change in demeanor, just as he noticed yours.

You smiled painfully at his silence, feeling a fresh cut of pain slash inside you. “I knew it.”

“Y/n, I-” There was so much he wanted to say, things he wanted to take back. He didnt want this meeting to go like this- with you even more distant to him. Out of all the possible outcomes, this had to be the worst one.

“Dont even try to backtrack Shoto, I know the truth now,you just confirmed it.”

He knew he was less than kind to you before he left, but know it wasnt like that anymore. Why were you so angry?

“Fine-yes-I left, and it wasnt right,” he admitted, his voice deep, “but Im back. Why are you putting my old self against me now?”

“Because I couldn't for the year and half you were gone! I-I loved you Shoto, and you-”

“You dont love me anymore?” Shoto looked down at you sadly, his eyes full of sorrow. It felt like his heart was breaking in two, the way those words spilled out your mouth so easily making it sting even more.

You swallowed, filling a pit grow in your chest. Everything felt so cold, so empty. This was your best friend- why couldn't you just be nice to him? You thought you had gotten over all this.

“You dont love me-so why should I love you?” your voice was barely a whisper, cold and empty in the frigid hallway.

Shoto stared down at you, his voice caught in his throat. Did you really believe that? That he didnt love you?You had been friends since children- you really thought all those times, all those days you played together, were all fake? Who even were you?

“I just want you to know,” you spoke, your voice monotone and icy,” Im not doing this for my father, or your father, or even you. Im doing this for my people and thats it.”

“It” meaning the wedding.

Tears began to prickle your lashline, confusion flooding your numb body as you began to walk away from Shoto-

you hadnt cried in what seemed like forever.

Why were you now?

“Y/n, please, can we just talk-” he tried to reason, harsh with desperation.

“No.” your voice was plain in its tone that you were done with the conversation.

“Im just curious Shoto- why did you come back? Because if I had the luxury to have all that freedom, to be free for once- I wouldnt.”

Shoto’s heart felt broken as he watched you walk away, your dress ruffling as you continued on your path. He felt defeated, confused, even angry- what had happened to you since he had been gone? Did you really hate him that much? What did you mean you had no freedom? More questions flooded his mind than what were answered, but he now knew one thing- you didnt want anything to do with him.

As Shoto’s was returning to his corrdiors sadly, you were lost in thought, just feeling- empty. You didnt feel sad, or angry, or even spitefu anymorel. Just- numb to the world. You could walk for miles and miles it seemed and you wouldnt feel a thing.

Why was that? Why were so mean to your long lost firend? You should be hugging him from happiness and relief-not meeting him with coldness and hate.

As you were lost in thought, you didn't even notice yourself running into a person. Your hand instantly reached out, meeting soft yet rough skin. You looked up in confusion ,and your breath hitch- it was the barbairan, his vermilion eyes like rubies as he stared down at you in scorn.

“Oi, watch were your going you damn princess,” he scolded,pushing you off him gently. You stumbled slightly, trying to get your footing right- you had run in to him, you had even touched him. If you were feeling alright, and if the circumstances were different, you could practically squeal. “Youre gonna hurt someone.”

“Did I hurt you?”

He scoffed at your comment. “Like you could ever hurt me,” his voice was deep and velvety, his comment sending shocwaves into your system. The reply was prideful, yet it could have been- sweet. Kind, in a way in a different light- maybe he meant it like that?

“How do you know that?” you blurted out, a small smirk crawling across your lips.

You just wanted him to talk more, to hear that velvety voice directed towards you- but you were close to flirting with him. What were you doing? What was going on with you?

One second you were chewing out your life time friend weeks before your wedding, and now you were being smitten with a random man you didn't even know.

He chuckled slightly, his canines glinting. “Your a fucking handful, arentcha?”

He eyed your wobbling feet, as you still were finding your footing slightly.

“You clearly cant walk right-you feeling fine, because Im not gonna be the one who carries you-”

“No, no , Im fine.” you reassured, your cheeks rosy. ‘Thank you for catching me.”

“Youre the one who ran into me.”

“You could have just pushed me off though, you seem like the type to do that,” you gave him a cheeky grin, it disappearing when you heard a slight growl come form him.

“The hell you mean princess?” he was trying to be menacing, but you could tell there was something behind it- he was curious. You loved how he called you “princess”, making it sound like a pet name than a title.

“Your a lone wolf, are you not? You are strong, independent, free-” you began to list off, your eyes focusing on his, “you follow your own code and beliefs”

“Damn right I do,” he agreed, your heart soaring that he looked so proud of you for describing him so perfectly. “-which is why Im confused as hell that half-and-half prince is allowing himself to get married.”

Ouch.

The small amount of hope that Bakugo seemed to like you had quickly got destroyed, feeling hurt flood your body. You quickly tried to shake it off, so Bakugo couldn't see it on your face.

“What he even want to talk to you about anyway?” The boy shifted in his stance, his muscles moving with his movements.

You gulped, guilt filling your body- Shoto, the one who had just fought with. You couldnt tell this boy what had happened- that was private, and really, it was embarrassing.

“Just-uh-about-” you stammered, your cheeks red as you searched for a lie.

“Ugh, let me guess, you two were trading spit werent you?” he interrupted in disgust, taking your red cheeks as a sign you two were doing something unholy in the hallway.

You swallowed, licking your lips as you gave him a tight lipped smile. You were just going to follow along with Bakugo’s line of reasoning- you didnt have any other better ideas.

“Y-yep, just- please dont tell anyone?”

He gave a bitter laugh, his voice booming against your ears. “You guys cant get dirty? I guess that makes sense, since you all our royalty, cant be having any scandals-”

“Do you promise?” you rushed him, now feeling uncomfortable- if anybody heard you and Shoto were kissing in the hallway, and you two were really arguing-

“Yeah, dont worry princess, youre secrets safe with me.”

You sighed a breath of relief, feeling your heart jump at the smirk the boy sent your way.

“Thank you- I- uh- best be going now,” you stammered, rushing past the warrior, “have a nice night Bakugo.”

You rushed to your room, your heart feeling on fire. Your hands were shaking, your mid racing- all you could think about was that boy. Your world had seemed so dark, until he showed up. His rude responses, his chaotic personality, his snarkiness, that overly prideful speech, his freedom- it was so intoxicating to you. You felt your heart pumping against your chest- you hadn't felt this alive in so long.

You suddenly felt very sick, your head feeling drowsy- maybe you were actually catching something, and thats why you were acting so strange? You were gasping for breath it seemed, your corset making it hard to breath. I felt like something was tightening around your chest, small prods poking into you from the inside- it was a strange sensation, one you did not welcome in the slightest. You stumbled to your bed, holding on to the post as your lungs felt tight with no air, liking something was blocking your passageway. Coughs began to erupt out of you, wracking your body until you finally felt you could breathe. You sucked in a deep breath, welcoming the sweet night air, your chest still feeling tight. You looked down at the ground, trying to slow your stammering heart, until your eyes feel upon something new- a single white petal, resting softly on the ground.

------------

After that night, You became obsessed with this boy, learning bits and pieces from him though conversation you had overheard from Shoto’s friends and workers inside the castle. You learned he was from an extremely far off land, past even the Mountains, which surprised you. He lived alone, and apparently had a dragon as well. He had gotten in many fights due to his overly prideful personality, which was why he had so many scars decorating his taut body. Your handmaidens seemed to look at him with annoyance, saying he refused to wear anything “civilized” and would plainly cuss them out if they even set foot in his room to clean.

You knew he had a softer side though- he had kept your “secret” safe, right? You heard nothing around the castle about any make-out session or argument between you and Shoto. That little act made you feel special in someway- maybe he had a soft side for you?

Whenever you would feel yourself getting sucked into the sadness of planning your wedding, you’d think of fantasies with that barbarian boy. Him taking you in the middle of night, taking you far away from this place. His hands placed around your waist, that snarky smile looking down at you again.

Seeing him walk around the castle grew a desperation and love in your body, watching his handsome face stare around the rooms, his voice loud and prideful- you wished he could look your way, acknowledge you again. His vermillion eyes sent fire into your soul whenever you closed his eyes, his face being a beacon of warmth in your life.

Yet that beacon of life was killing you from the inside- every day and every night you fantasized about Bakugo, the sickness taking over you grew worse and worse. The closer you got to your wedding day, the worse it felt, the vines inside you prickling at your soft organs. They were growing, you felt it, as you coughed up more and more petals.

For a few days you had no idea what was going on, fear striking you as you wondered if you should ask to see a doctor. But you decided to do your own research, scourging through books until you found your sickness: Hanahaki. The the mythical disease for unrequited love. It was quite rare, but it came to the most lonely, delusional, and desperate of lovers.

It made sense, really- it all started when you talked to Bakugo, after falling in his arms. It hurt he didnt love you back- but why should he? One run-in shouldn't make people fall in love with each other, but somehow it made you. You welcomed the pain alittle, as it was a reminder you still had some feeling other than emptiness inside you. It also terrfiied you- you were supposed to be in love with Shoto, not some barbarian from a far off land you barely spoke to.

How had this happened, how could you let this happen?

Even if you did tell others you had Hanahaki, they would point the finger at Shoto, calling him cold and callous for not loving you. You were the one who was the cold one, pushing your old friend away. Even if you felt some residue of anger for him, you wouldn't put him through that- he didn't deserve it. You let this disease do its course- if it went away youd be freed, knowing that Bakugo loved you back, and if not- well, you’d figure that out when you got there.

You had barely talked to Shoto or even noticed him since that night, not realizing the amount of worry he felt towards you. Everyday that went by he noticed how sick you looked, your skin paling and you eyes losing any life. Every cough you tried to hold back he noticed and it rang in his ear like a terrible siren- there was something wrong with you.It ate at his insides, his fear of you pushing him away again making him scared to ask what was wrong.

------------

It was now the night before you wedding and you were feeling less than hopeful. You were supposed to be lively and happy, as your father had thrown a party to celebrate the events of the next day, yet you had no energy left in you to dance or socialize. You stayed in a dark corner, trying your best to blend in and not be noticed.

The coughs were not leaving, and it felt like your chest was being constricted until you could barely breathe. The annoying tickle of a cough was constantly at the back of your throat, as you tried to keep the petals at bay. You were miserable.

“Princess, are you doing alright, you seem a little- pale? Do you need some water, or maybe fresh air,” the young witch Ochaco approached you, her rosy cheeks and bright eyes looking at you.

“Hello, Ochaco,” you greeted, your smile strained, “you know-fresh air would be nice.”

The sweet girl smiled at you, gingerly taking you by the crook of your elbow and out of the ballroom. The fresh air was rather nice, soothing your hurting brain and your sore lungs. You two walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. Your mind was shifting around, thinking about Shoto and what would happen tomorrow. It hurt too much, though- you still were both not at speaking terms, and now you had to be promised to each other for eternity. The thought made your throat itch even more, and instead, you switched to own of your many fantasies of Bakugo that brought you some comfort.

“So, how are you feeling? Nervous, excited, scared?” Ochaco asked gingerly

“About what?” you asked, looking at her with curiosity

“Uh,um-your wedding,” she giggled nervously, her cheeks growing red again.

Oh-you cursed yourself for getting to invested in your fantasy, feeling embarrassed for thinking of Bakugo and not about Shoto.

You really didnt know how to answer her question-You felt yourself dreading it-how could you tell her that? But you didnt want to lie to her- lying to her would be practically evil, like giving a child a promise and not fulfilling it.

“Its expected of me to marry him,” you reasoned out carefully, “Ive been thinking of this day since I was a child.”

She gaped out you in awe. “Really?That early? In your kingdoms is it a tradition to marry from each other’s kingdoms?”

You gave her a wihsful smile. “Actually- no, it isnt. We’re the first ones.”

Her brown bob fluttered against her cheeks, her eyes staring up at you in confusion.

“I-if you dont mind me asking,” she asked nervously, “why is that?”

You sighed, giving her a small smile.

“Its kind of a long story….”

------------

“Long ago our two kingdoms began to quarrel against one another. But that happened years back- we still continued to fight against each other, and quite frankly, we forgot about why. We just knew we hated each other and wanted to see the other fail. My father had always said to me that my mother wished for her children to be born in a peaceful kingdom, yet my father’s pride prevented that from coming true for her.

“Until the day I was born- my mother, sadly, died while giving birth to me. My father now had no queen, and really, no future ruler, since I am a girl and only men can become ruler in my kingdom. In his grief, he began to feel sympathetic, I suppose- he knew King Todoroki had a young boy who was barely turning 4, and my father got an idea. He travelled to his kingdom, and somehow was able to talk King Todoroki into an agreement.”

“In order to end the suffering of our two kingdoms, Shoto and I would marry once I turn 18, in which would bind our kingdoms forever in peace, with Shoto as ruling over both.”

Ochaco breathed out a large sigh, giving you a conflicted expression.

“So-thats why you two are getting married? Its arranged?”

You looked at her in confusion-“Didnt-Shoto tell you that? I thought Bakugo at least knew-”

��Bakugo?” Ochaco blinked a few times, clearly puzzled. “Bakugo just thought it was quite, well, wierd Shoto was getting married- Bakugo is just a lone wolf who cant understand love I guess-”

You strangely felt angry at her words- how could she even say that about him? Yes, he was cold and callous at times, but how could she know he couldn't at least love? You knew he had to at least have some way of having feelings for another person, you had to at least hope for that-

“-it must be why he left last night,”

You stopped in your tracks, feeling a ton of bricks pound into your chest.

“He-he left?

“Um yeah! Something about being ‘bored waiting around for a stupid’- oh my gosh, y/n are you alright!?”

You were coughing up quite alot, your lungs dry and painful as your heart tore in two. He-he left. Without you. Without even a goodbye.

After all that daydreaming, all that hope, that dedication to him, hoping he would notice you- he left. He never loved you, and you knew it- you were just so desperate for someone to take you, to teach you how to be free.

You wanted him to teach you, to see potential in you that you could be just as defiant to the world as him.

Uraraka wrapped her slender arms around your body, patting your back softly to help you rid your body of whatever had attacked you. It was taking everything in you to not let a single petal fall out, the itching in the back your neck unbearable as your heart beat agonizingly against horribly.

You felt a few silky petals slip out of your mouth, soft against your dry tongue. Miraculously, Uraraka didn't suspect a thing- most likely from the darkness she couldn't see the disease overtaking you.

You gulped desperately for air, finally getting a hold on your lungs.

“I-Im fine,” you panted out, raising from the floor on shaky knees. “Thank you”

Urarka gave you a pointed look, clearly not convinced. “Of course, but are you sure? Do you need water, or maybe I should get Shoto-”

“No!” you yelled out, covering your mouth in case of another attack.

You felt a little guilty for yelling at Uraraka so harshly, her wide eyes looking at you in shock-you just couldnt bear seeing Shoto when you were grieving over a lover that was never yours- and apparently dying from it too.

“No, Im fine, really,” you said more calmly, trying to be reassuring, “lets, just- walk back, if thats okay-”

“Yes of course! Ill walk you to your room, just in case you get sick again-”

You two walked in silence again, you mulling over your broken heart as Uraraka watched you in worry. You two passed the ballroom, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves and not noticing you two as you lead the way to your room.

You stepped up to the door, your hand grasping the doorknob until you paused, a question entering your mind. You were still confused why Uraraka said she didnt know your marriage was arranged-you would have expected Shoto to have told his group after saying he was getting married.

Was he embarrassed by it, that he was marrying you?

“You said you were surprised to here our marriage was arranged,” you asked quietly, “Shoto never told you?”

Uraraka shuffled in her pink boots, her shoulder hunched close to her chin.

“He-uh-no,” she breathed out, “he said he made a promise to marry a girl he loved.”

-------------------

Morning.

Daylight.

Wedding.

You should be feeling happy, excited, optmistic-you had been imagining this day since you were a child. But now, all you could feel was a coldness you couldnt seem to shake off- after your talk with Uraraka last night, you felt so confused.

The person you “loved” had never loved you, leaving you sick and hurt.

The person who did love you, you most likely pushed away to the point where they didnt love you anymore.

You couldnt even understand your emotions yourself. All night your sickness wouldnt leave your poor lungs alone, making you cough uncontrollably all night, the petals piling up around you.

You wouldn't allow anyone to see you in the morning, snatching your wedding dress from your hand maidens and putting in yourself. You fixed yourself up, trying to make yourself look as lively as possible, but it seemed impossible- you felt too empty inside to really put your heart into it.

Another round of coughs attacked your chest, a single petal dribbling out of your mouth, along with a speckle of blood. It dripped on the inner folds of your creamy white dress- easily disguisable if you made sure it was covered- yet it made you begin to cry.

What was going on? Why did you have to do this? Why were you still sick?

Your knees hit the cold floor, wave after wave of tears and coughs struck your body in a terrible symphony, the petals piling up on your dress.

You couldnt take it anymore- this sickness was going to have to take you, because you had no energy left to fight it anymore.

You felt a knocking on your door, the sounds harsh against your temple. You sniffled, one last cough feebily spilling out of your bloodied lips.

“Go away-I promise Ill be out soon-” you began sadly, until you heard the door swing open.

You looked up, your face in shock as you did not lock eyes with your handmaiden, but with Shoto’s.

He looked around the floor, noticing the bloody petals, his face completely torn-he knew what was going on.

Shoto stared down at you, his eyes boaring into yours-he knew something was wrong with you. He had came by your room in hopes of fixing your relationship before speaking your vows, working up the courage until he heard you crying. No matter what was between you two, he wouldnt let you go through pain by yourself.

Now he watching you cough up your life, those sickly petals flowing out of you, each one taking a toll on your body.

He gasped out your name, the words like honey as he sat next to you on the floor. You looked so beautiful in that white gown, like an angel from heaven.

But the paleness of your skin, the bags like bruises under your eyes, the blood on your lips- it all reminded him that you were human, and you were hurting inside. He reached for your hand, his fingers grazing your skin-so cold- but you pulled it away quickly.

“Please, dont Shoto-” you whispered hoarsely, “Im-”

Another wave of coughs wracked at your chest, this time the rasps painful against your chest as the vines squeezed.

Shoto didnt know what to do- how could he help you? There wasn't anything he could do to help, except watch his best friend and love slowly cough her life away. A few petals cascaded out of your mouth, adding to the piles as you heaved air back into your lungs, your knuckles white.

“How, how could you keep this from me?” he asked sadly, ignoring your pleas and pulling you into his lap.

You felt how warm he was, and realized- he did love you. He had been there for you as a child, and he was here for you now, comforting you in your worst moment.

Your heart felt like it was exploding as tears cascading down your face, salty and warm against your skin.

“How-how could I Shoto?” I shuldnt have been so mean to you,” you sobbed, “Im so sorry, so sorry, this is all my fault-”

“Please, no, dont be sorry,” he said softly, his arms cradling your body, “we both have our own faults. I shouldnt have left you for so long, and Im sorry for that, I-” he gulped, his heart beating harshly against his chest.

“I-I do love you,y/n, I do.”

You picked up your head, forcing yourself to look at him- he was so handsome, his mix matched eyes softly looking down at you- he was still the little boy you knew from a child, though, always so calm and sweet.

“I know, Shoto, I just, I-” you gulped, fighting to keep the coughs and sobs at bay.

He sighed, feeling his heart sink.

“You loved Bakugo, didnt you? Thats why,” he motioned to the petals, “this is happening to you.”

You gave him a shocked look, your eyes wide and glassy. You forgot how observant Shoto could be- you felt your cheeks grow red, realizing now he must have known by the way you stared so much at Bakugo.

“Was-it that noticebale?”

“Y/n,” he sighed, his chest feeling heavy, “very.”

You giggled at his remark, feeling strange for laughing for once. But Shoto was so abrupt with his words, it always made you laugh at his remarks.

Shoto’s heart soared at your laugh, the sound like chimes against his ears. It died down, the room quickly feeling closed in again.

“I just dont want to do this. I-I want to be friends again. To figure out who were are, without us being forced to be with each other.” you sighed, your heart rattling against your chest. “ I-I want to be with you and marry you- when we decide. Not my father, or your father- I want to be free to choose.”

You turned to Shoto, your hands touching his cheek.

“I-I did love you-and I still do-Im just so confused, and trapped, and-”

“You just want to be your own person,” he finished your sentence, his voice so much stronger than yours.

He looked down at you, his face surprisingly smiling.

“I think I may have arranged that,”

You jumped up, your face in shock. “H-how? Tell me!” you squealed, not unilke a child, your eyes wide with anticipation.

Shoto grinned at your face, loving how excited you could get so quickly.

“Do you remember my oldest brother?” he asked

“Of course I remember Natsuo! He was always so kind to me as a child,” you reminenscenced, “but how is he going to help us?”

“Well, as it turns out, I spoke to our fathers and my older brother,” he said, a small grin on his face, “they agreed that my brother could rule both kingdoms in my place. By himself, and my sister will accompany him if he ever needs help.”

You sucked in a lung full of air, unable to believe what you had just heard-

“So that means-”

“We are free to do what we want now.”

You yelled in happiness, happy tears cascading on your face as you wrapped his body around yours, “thank yous” spilling out of your lips.

Shoto hugged you back, smiling sadly- he had to admit, it was hard negotiating that new deal. After the night, that remark of how you didnt feel “free” stayed in his brain, haunting him until he found a solution. Knowing it would make you happy made it worth it- even if that meant you could leave him now. He loved you, but if that meant you could be happy with or without him, he would be content with the knowledge that you were finally able to be your own person.

“You can now be yourself,” he said sadly, his eyes staring down at the floor, “and even if that means you do not love me, I accept it. You dont have to feel guilty.”

You looked at the poor boy, his eyes shaded as his bi-colored locks cascaded onto his foreheads. You felt a warmth fill your chest, the sensation soothing and calming as the tightness in your lungs dissappeared. The tickling in your throat seemed to wane slightly. Your hand found his as his eyes instantly rose to meet yours.

“I wont feel guilty,” you smiled gently, “I want to be free- with you.”

Taggings: (if you want to be added, just shoot me an ask or a reply on this post and Ill add you on to my future fics!)

@freckledoriya @orokayagi @leeeah-loooser

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnhabookclub #bnha au #bnha fantasy au #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #todorki x reader #mha todoroki x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto #mha shoto x reader #mha shoto todoroki #bnha prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x reader #prince shoto x you #prince shoto x y/n

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smoochkooks · 5 years

Text

—if walls could talk (m.)

⇢ pairing: min yoongi/reader

⇢ genre: smut, angst

⇢ word count: 5k+

⇢ warnings: friends with benefits, infidelity, explicit sexual content: unprotected sex, dirty talk, possesivness, slight degradation, very light choking, unhealthy relationships, this is sad im sorry

⇢ summary: for most people, love is an enigma; hard to describe force that brings two hearts together and makes one home. love is happiness and delight. love is goodmorning kisses when sun rises and warm cuddles when it gets dark. love is sharing deepest, most hidden insecurities together and finding solutions for them. love is looking into someone’s eyes and seeking comfort in them.

but for min yoongi, love is the most unfair feeling in the world.

a/n: this is my first ever writing posted here so please give me some love. listen to ‘if walls could talk’ by 5sos.

If someone ever dared to ask Min Yoongi what is love for him, his answer would fall from his lips without a hint of hesitation.

For most people, love is an enigma; hard to describe force that brings two hearts together and makes one home. Love is happiness and delight. Love is goodmorning kisses when sun rises and warm cuddles when it gets dark. Love is sharing deepest, most hidden insecurities together and finding solutions for them. Love is looking into someone’s eyes and seeking comfort in them.

But for Min Yoongi, love is the most unfair feeling in the world.

It’s sadness and pain, making him want to scream out hopelessly into dead hours of the night his frustrations. For Yoongi, love is nothing but heartache and longing for the person who can’t reciprocate his feelings the way he wishes to.

But for you, the girl he loves, Yoongi would suffer for the rest of the eternity, for the sake of your own happiness, and his downfall.

Intertwined bodies, limbs tangled together underneath the messy sheets, moonlight slipping through the curtains of the bedroom and illuminating silver gleams on the surface of the ceiling. Laboured breaths and swollen lips, drinking poisonous taste from mouths caught mid open in sheer ecstasy that only carnal lust can provide. The sounds of sweat-covered skin slapping on skin, sinful noises with a cacophony of moans.

Yoongi kisses you like his life depends on it, like he’s trying to put into it all the unspoken, broken sentences he’s to afraid to let out.

“I missed you,” kiss on the corner of your mouth, just a brief prelude to the symphony of lovestruck boy that he hides behind his rough touches.

“You are the best thing that have ever happened to me,” kiss on the crook of your neck, supressed in depths of your sweetly scented hair, where he inhales the soul shaking intoxication.

And the last one, the scariest of them all.

“I love you,” kiss on your pillowy lips, stealing the breath from his lungs away and leaving him dizzy.

Yet, Yoongi knows, even in his lustful state of numbness, that he cannot say them. He chooses another words, he thinks it’s better like this; when he’s not giving into it too much because it will bring him down. Even though it hurts so bad, stabbing his heart with invisible dagger and spilling blood all over the white sheets.

“Can he fuck you this good?” It’s nothing but a growl against the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

It’s selfish, truly egoistic, asking things like that, with your nude, pliable body beneath him, submited to his mercy and his touches only, with his cock drilling into you deeply. Yoongi can’t find the strenght to stop. He’s feeding on your strangled proclamations like they are the most delicious course, sweet on his tongue, yet bitter on the edges.

“N-no,” you stutter breathlessly, more of a moan than a real word. “Only you.”

It’s addicting, the way those words slip from your mouth, the way your body arches to him when he thrusts harder, when he plays with you the most dangerous game in the world, the one mixing pain with pleasure. His name rolling of your tongue over and over is a sin, pure ambrosia to his ears but he devoted himself to this temptation a long time ago.

“Yeah? You like when I’m fucking you open like this?” Yoongi asks.

He slows down his pace, dragging his cock through your silky walls agonizingly gentle, watching how it disappears into the wetness of your cunt. You writhe beneath him, eyelids fluttered shut from the immense pleasure he is bringing to you, always giving you the part of himself between each roll of his hips.

When no response comes out of your mouth, he lands a harsh smack to the back of your thigh, making you gasp. Deft fingers find their way to your chin, thumb pressing into the swollen flesh of your bottom lip. “Fucking answer me, slut,” he snarls.

“I–God, I love it,” you blurt out, reaching for his forearms like they are your lifeline. “You’re always making me feel so–fuck, so good, Yoongi.”

Your words push the dagger deeper into his heart, the blood runs thicker. Yoongi starts fucking you harder then, and you rake your nails through his back, until a hiss escapes his mouth because the pain always feels oh, so good.

And you love it too, love the pain your rough fucking brings to your body. You relish in the way he holds you down, pinning your hips to the mattress with enough force to leave purplish bruises. You succumb to him every time, no matter how wrong it is, no matter how loud the screaming to stop this before it will get out of your hand is in your head.

You’re addicted to him just like he’s to you.

His bony fingers slowly caressing your throat make your breath hitch. He doesn’t apply pressure, not yet, he just holds his hand there until you beg him to push, grasping his wrist between your fingers.

“Yoongi, please–”

He lifts his head up and you have no choice but stare right into his eyes, right into his dark orbs that always hide so much love for you, everlastingly for you. You could hurt him all over again, yet he will never falter.

Something snaps in him. Maybe it’s his name on your lips, a breathless plea in his ears. Maybe it’s the deliciously good way your walls hug his dick snuggly inside. Or maybe it’s you in general, cascades of hair strewn around the pillow and face flushed in pleasure.

You, stabbing him right into his heart.

“You are mine,” Yoongi groans before he could stop himself; ugly possessiveness dripping from his tone. Veiny hand around your throat gradually tightens with practiced ease, and your senses blurr. “Mine to kiss, mine to fuck. Mine, fucking mine.” he repeats like a mantra, like he foolishly thinks it will become true after so many times he wished to ink them on your skin, mark you as his and only his. But they are all just words, sentences thrown hastily in the middle of carnal desire.

He feels your walls clenching around him, approaching your high. He slows his pace to bare minimum, fucking himself into you deeper, like he’s trying to reach the very core of your soul. He wants you to come like this, with your eyes glued to his ones. Maybe you would find in them the truth he would never tell.

He captures your lips in a kiss too sensual and too sweet to be mistaken with crimson lust. You sigh into his mouth and his tongue laces with yours, tasting cheap strawberry wine you drank earlier that night. He hadn’t come to you with a plan to have sex. You called him because you needed someone to talk.

You needed your best friend.

However, after few glasses and several lustful glances, before he could even tell you to stop, you were sitting on his lap, lips hovering over his, your center grinding against his crotch, leaving him no choice but indulge. A sigh of “I want you,” spoken directly to his ear was enough to sprung him into action and kiss the fuck out of you, ripping your blouse from your body and have his way with you on the couch, with his face burried between your legs. And then on your bed, where you sleep in the embrace of your boyfriend every night.

“Fuck, baby,” Yoongi grunts, releasing your throat from his grip. “You’re gonna take it, yeah?” he breathes out, and you could only moan in approval, too fucked out by the feeling of his cock reaching depths of your pussy. “Take it like a good girl–” he continues, practically slurring his words. “–and let me fill up your tight cunt with my cum.”

There’s only a whimper in response from you but it’s enough for him. His face falls to the crook of your neck, lips ghosting over the skin.

One mark, Yoongi thinks, one bite on her neck and he will find out. He will finally know what his girlfriend has been up to these past months. He will know who’s face flashes behind her closed eyelids when they make love, bringing her closer to the edge. But Yoongi would never do that, no matter how tempting the thought is. He has seen you broken so many times before, crying on his shoulder. He has wiped bitter tears from your cheeks, assuring you it’s going to be okay. He won’t stand seeing you hurt again for the sake of his selfish desires.

But is it trully so cruel that he doesn’t want to share? He can cherish you so much more. Make love to you like he wouldn’t. Love you like you deserve to be loved.

Your mouth falls open in ecstasy, sweat covers your brow and forehead. You’re beautiful like this, so vulnerable, caught in the most intimate of ways possible, underneath his body. Your thighs tremble but you circle his bare waist with your legs anyway, bringing him even closer to you.

Your hands find the sides of his face, shaky palms cupping his cheeks, urging him to lean into your direction more. “I’m so close–” you mumble into the seam of his lips, followed by a messy kiss. “Yoongi, please, baby.” A broken sob falls from your mouth as his dick rock into you without any sign of mercy, hitting the one spot inside you that blinds your vision with hot white pleasure.

“Say that again.” Yoongi growls, his hand travelling down your body and reaching the apex of your thighs, when your body ends and his begins. His pace has become sloppier, a sign he is close too. He thrusts so hard it makes you see the stars, chasing both yours and his high. Pleasure sprouts through your whole body, coil in your stomach gradually tightening with the way he strokes your clit.

“Yoongi,” you moan. “Make me come. I want that so bad–” You start moving your hips in tandem with his, meeting him halfway. “–please, baby.”

He doesn’t need anything more than that, at least for now. His thumb traces messy circles on your sensitive numb, bringing you to the climax. You shout his name and he curses, feeling his cock twitching inside your cunt.

“Fuck,” Yoongi groans one last time before he comes, coating your walls with his seed. Few lazy thrusts later he pulls out from you, his cum dripping down your thighs as a dirty reminder of what you have done.

He lays on top of you, supporting his weight on his arms not to crush your smaller frame. Staring into your eyes, into your soul, like he’s trying to memorize every feature of your face, every small detail he knows so well, like he’s afraid he will forget it once he opens his eyes the other day.

You stay like that for a while, basking in the post-sex afterglow, heavy pants falling from your lips being the only sounds audible in the confines of your bedroom. Bu then, you cup his cheeks with your palms, kissing him deeply and so lovingly, he could delight in this moment forever. He could stay in your arms until his death.

You did to his heart what Spring does to cherry trees.

You met all those Springs ago, at the age of seven, on a gloomy day when you were both just in primary school. It was your first day there after moving out to another part of the city. Yoongi remembers it so vividly, you standing among other kids, watching everyone with curious eyes. Then, some older kid came up to you, pointing at your pink polka-dot wellies and started making fun of them. You immadietly bursted into tears in the middle of the playground.

And that was when seven-years old Yoongi decided he didn’t like seeing you in tears for the first time. He left the swing he was sitting at and approached you and the boy, standing proudly in front of him in his blue wellies.

“Don’t laugh at her boots you idiot! Your trainers aren’t cool, they are stupid! At least her socks aren’t wet like yours.” Yoongi said, pointing at the kid’s shoes that were, in fact, completely drenched and dirty with mud. He stucked his tongue out as a final warning and farewell, dissmising the other boy.

You looked at him hesitantly with wide, doe eyes, unsure of what to do. Fortunately, Yoongi knew.

“I’m Yoongi. Do you want to play with me?” he asked out of the blue and sent you a cute, gummy grin. You nodded shyly, going after him. You ended up testing your wellies that day, jumping to every puddle you could find.

You became inseparable since that day. There wasn’t any power that might possibly disconnect you. It was always Yoongi and Y/N, Y/N and Yoongi. Your bond was unbrakeable.

In the age of fourteen, you shared your first kiss under the blackboard sky one summer night, too young and too stupid to know things like love. But it felt so right to stand on your toes and reach for Yoongi’s mouth, placing a chaste kiss on his lips that made his cheeks red. Next day however, you claimed it was a mistake that shouldn’t have happened, that best friends don’t kiss each other, Yoongs. Yoongi swallowed the lump in his throat, agreeing with you even though in his fourteen-years old heart he felt different. Even though he didn’t know what it was like to be in love back then, he was sure his heart beating rapidly faster when you were around meant something more.

Years passed and the bitter-sweet time of the high school came faster than anyone had expected. Yoongi started being some sort of a popular boy back then. He wore black leather jackets and ripped jeans, smoked cigarettes at the back of school and fuck girls in shady bars’ bathrooms more often than do homework. He found a new group of male friends, hanging out with them sometimes even more frequently than with you, distancing himself.

He thought it was better like this, when he wasn’t looking at how you even got prettier, smarter, drifting away from his reach. When he wasn’t listening to your rambling about another asshole you had a crush on.

It hurt less like this.

You started going to the parties because of him. They were the constance in your teenage lifes, alcohol swimming in your veins your best company on Friday evening’s at clubs when you were showing fake ID’s just to get wasted and dance for dear life. He liked those moments the most, when there wasn’t any guy around you were interested in, when it was only you and him and a bottle of tequila bought with your first earned money.

Yoongi had never told you how bad he wanted to kiss you every time you swayed your bodies to the loud bass of the music. He had never said aloud how he dreamed about licking your throat with his tongue, how he wished your cunt was the one he runs his fingers through, digging his digits into the wetness and hearing your moans. How much he wanted your pink colored lips wrapped around his cock, instead of some nameless girl’s.

But your were best friends and best friends don’t hook up with each other, as Yoongi overheard you saying it one day to your other friend Jihyo, when she asked you about him. You eventually forgot about this rule though, year or so after, letting him fuck you dirty at the backseat of his dad’s car.

His name was Jaehyun and when you met him, you believed he was your first and last love. He was one of those guys Yoongi hated the most. Obnoxiously rich, too confident and arrogant for his own good, but you fell for his poor charms and sweet words anyway. Until Jaehyun eventually got bored and broke up with you in the middle of a party, leaving you with no choice but stare mouth agape at him, casually flirting with another girl minutes later. However, Yoongi was there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, letting you drown your misery in alcohol along with him.

When your glassy eyes lingered on his lips for a moment too long, he was sure it was his first warning.

When your lips brushed his and he let you kiss him, he knew it was his first mistake.

When you took his hand and led him to the parking lot with clear intentions in your head, he was sure there was no going back from it.

Not when you were lying at the backseat of his dad’s car half naked underneath him, with your skirt hiked up and revealing yourself to his hungry eyes; shy, with your bottom lip caught between your teeth, begging him to ruin you.

You didn’t ask him to be gentle with you, he promised you roughness and fulfilled it, pulling your hair and rasping filthly exclamations to your ears that made your head spin and wetness running down your thighs. He could taste alcohol and sweetness of something only akin to you on your tongue that night. It was addicting and he was ready to overdose.

Yoongi remembers the day you shattered his heart into pieces clearly, like it was barely yesterday. It was Saturday and Saturday meant college parties at Jung Hoseok’s place. He remembers how you took his hand and led him through the crowd of drunk people, just like back in high school days but something was definitely odd with your behavior that night. He knew you too well not to feel that. You were tense, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

You ended up on the balcony, starring at the sky and smoking. You still looked so innocent with a cigarette between your fingers, even after all those years he taught you how to do that during one of the lunch breaks at your high school.

“I moved to Jinyoung last week,” you said suddenly, breaking the silence. “I think I love him.”

Jinyoung wasn’t another Jaehyun or an upgraded version of him. He was studying law and had a bright future ahead of him, which Yoongi couldn’t say about himself. Yoongi hated him as much as he did your every previous boyfriend but something was different with Jinyoung. He actually cared about you and that was what scared Yoongi the most; the lack of flaws in your current boyfriend that could put him in lost position. That could make you chose Yoongi over him.

Yet, Yoongi just chuckled at your words bitterly. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if he knew they were true. But you were always a terrible liar.

“Funny,” he muttered, blowing out the fumes of his cigarette. “You didn’t seem like head over heels for him when you sucked my dick last Tuesday.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. He knew he hit your sensitive spot, that he had you right there cornered into situation you hated confronting. Because there was no rational explanation of what you were doing, beside how wrong it all was.

You threw away you half-burnt cigarette, looking at him for the first time since you dragged him here. “You are not inside my head, Yoongi. You don’t know what I really feel.” Your tone was laced with anger even if your voice quivered slightly at the end. Because you lied again. He was the one who knew you the most, inside and out.

Yoongi hated how beautiful you looked under the moonlight, how your skin glowed and eyes sparkled, even when you were mad. You were a picture of perfection, a blurry mirage remembering of what he might yet he couldn’t have.

“You’re right. I don’t know how you feel. But neither do you,” he said. “Call me when you will change your mind. You know where to find me.” He shoot you one last final gaze before he left you alone on the balcony, staring into the city covered in darkness.

You didn’t speak a word to him for the next few weeks. No texts, no calls. Until one day you showed up at his door unannounced, crashing your mouth onto his. He didn’t ask any questions when you mumbled, “Make me forget,” between kisses desperately, twisting his shirt in your palms. It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this.

But his selfishness let that occure again and again. Next morning he woke up to cold sheets, a sight of your naked body gone but the smell of you still lingering on the pillow next to his head. You probably came back to him, made some shitty excuse he easily believed in and kissed him as an apology.

If only he knew what sins those lips had committed the previous night.

Yoongi tried to convince himself it’s better like that so many times. He tried to move on, find someone new but in every girl’s face he saw you.

Fairness it’s truly not love’s attribute.

A few days ago you and Jinyoung got engaged. He bought you an expensive ring with a diamond too big for Yoongi’s liking. He proposed on some family dinner, too cheesy for Yoongi’s liking. And again, it was all too soon for Yoongi’s liking, but Jinyoung said it didn’t matter if you were still young, because you love each other unconditionally.

What Jinyoung doesn’t know however, is under what conditions you claim you love him.

Yoongi pulls away from the kiss, throwing his sweaty body next to yours. He turns his head to the side, catching a glimpse of your face, looking directly at him with emotions written on your face he cannot read. You were always like that, a beautiful enigma, an equation he couldn’t solve.

And then you smile, the same way that would put even sun into the shame. He could swear he’s never seen anything more mesmerizing. You’re ethereal, you feel so dreamlike he has to swipe his thumb on your cheek to be sure he hasn’t imagined all of this. But you’re still here.

He pulls you closer, flush to his body. He looks at you carefully, like he’s trying to remember your every feature, every ridge and dip, because it might be your last time together like this. Your hair you hate so bad and always complain about when it rains. Your forehead and brows that furrow every time you wonder about something. Your sparkling, doe eyes he has fallen for so many years before. Your cute nose, rosy cheeks. The curve of your full lips he had kissed countless times.

“What are you thinking about?” you whisper, your voice quiet in a small space of your bedroom.

“Just admiring your beauty.” Yoongi answers simply, flashing you a lopsided smile.

“When did you become so cheesy?” you tease, poking him in the ribs.

For you, I could be like that all the time. I could buy you flowers, take you out to fancy restaurants, kiss you goodbye before you leave for college or work. If only that meant you will be with me, I would try to be the best boyfriend on the Earth. If you just let me.

He chooses no to respond to that, instead asking another question, the one that makes his insides churn. “When’s the wedding?”

You gulp, the guilt taking over your features. That’s when the reality kicks in, waking you up from the dream that last only during sleepless nights. You choose not to look at him, you’re not gonna break down in front of him again today. “In July. Jinyoung thinks it’s the best month to get marry. It brings luck, or something.” you say and he hums, nodding. For the person claiming to be so deeply in love, you look pathetically sad.

“I hope I’m invited.” Yoongi chuckles, but you know it’s a bitter laugh. He kisses your crown lovingly, smiling down at you.

You missed his gummy grin, missed the days when it was just the two of you, and the cruel world. “Yoongi, I'm–” you begin, tears starting to build in your eyes, but he shooshes you, cuddling your body closer to him.

“Shh, I know, baby. You don’t have to say anything. We will talk about it another day.”

You let out a shaky sigh, burring your face in his chest. He holds you like this, flushed to his chest where his heart beats with the love he has for you, lulling you to sleep. In his arms you’re again a little girl in pink polka-dot wellies. You’re again a teenager that argued with her parents about getting caught smoking on a school yard. You’re again the girl who cried because her first boyfriend appeared to be an asshole. You’re the woman he loves and would never be his, no matter how much he wishes.

And to love is to let go. So does he, no matter how much it hurts him to do so.

For the one last time, Yoongi brings his lips to your forehead, kissing you goodnight. When your breath slows down and when he’s sure you’re asleep, he whispers, “You’re going to be the most beautiful bride. I love you.”

What Yoongi doesn’t know, is that you are wide awake the whole time.

“I love you too,” you answer him back in your head. The single tear rolls down your cheek and falls to the pillow.

If walls could talk, there wouldn’t be any silence. Confessions would be spoken out loud, emotions would be revealed. But love, indeed, is truly an unfair power.

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gamerwoo · 5 years

Text

Hansol: Fear the Cursed Lover

Characters: Hansol x reader (gender neutral) ((but I might’ve slipped up a few times because this wasn’t looked over so i’m sorry))

Genre/warnings: fantasy au, kinda horror, angst, slight fluff, death

Word count: 1,318

Summary: Got to get away. I can’t hesitate anymore. Everything turns grey. I cut out my fantasy and escape. Before the poison spreads, got to get away.

a/n: i’m gonna be honest guys, i’m not super proud of this one but i spent way longer trying to figure it out than i wanted to, and i have to finish writing the rest of them. so i’m really sorry that it’s not necessarily as good or as ‘creepy’ as the others but i didn’t get to put my 100% into it and that’s my fault for not planning my time better

Tag list: @exo-chan-kai @purpleseleva @mntax @squishy-yamdumplings @linophobia @fullsun-donghyuck @greenmetalroof

Fear Masterlist

She thought he was unfaithful. She thought he was a cheater. She thought he deserved the curse, but he did nothing but treat her as best as he could. But she wouldn’t accept explanations and left him with the most horrible parting gift she could.

“From now on, any lover of yours will suffer from an awful, horrible death, and you will have to live forever with your guilt,” she had sworn before disappearing forever, for Hansol to never see again.

At first, he thought maybe she was just crazy. He hadn’t known she was a witch or ever suspected her to be one, so he thought she was just that angry that she would make up something to scare him. So he moved on and found a new love. One that had a loud laugh that could be heard throughout the town, and always misplaced her things, and was a bit clumsier than normal.

A little too clumsy.

While out for a walk by the river, she was holding onto Hansol’s hand while walking along the rocks. But her foot slipped, and as Hansol was taken by surprise, he couldn’t pull her upright. She fell sideways into the river, smashing her head off a rock and dying instantly. He frantically called her name as her body floated down the river, gasping when he felt a cold hand on his shoulder.

“Any lover of yours,” he heard a familiar voice whisper in his ear, “will suffer from an awful, horrible death, and you will have to live forever with your guilt.”

But when he whipped around, nobody was there.

After that day, Hansol ran away. The town never saw him again, and he was accused of murdering his lover that had died in the river after her body was found days later. He kept away from civilization and learned to live in the forest among the animals. He couldn’t get them killed horrifically, at least. And they liked Hansol. Trully, he was kind and caring. But because of his curse, he was doomed to be alone forever despite that.

Until you wandered into his life.

He knew he shouldn’t have let you get so close, but he was weak for the friendship you offered. Speaking to woodland creatures all the time could only get rid of so much of his loneliness, and they couldn’t respond to him. So when you kept coming back to find him after he had helped you when you twisted your ankle in the woods, he couldn’t manage to push you away. He told himself that as long as he didn’t fall in love with you, you’d be okay.

It did start out harmless. You were intrigued by the strange woodland boy who had helped you when you were picking berries and twisted your ankle on a tree root. You wanted to know more about him, and you wanted to offer companionship since he didn’t seem to have anybody else out in the forest. And he seemed to appreciate that you kept coming back days, weeks, months after that afternoon in the woods. He always smiled brightly and laughed warmly when you were around. But what you didn’t know is that for the first time since that day by the river, he started to feel whole again. And slowly, he felt more and more whole.

But that was his downfall.

The more whole you made him feel, the more he fell for you. He didn’t even realize he was in love with you. He just knew you made him feel happy again. You gave him the care he craved. You listened when he was feeling down, you hugged him when he wanted to feel comfort, and you made him laugh just because you liked to. He hadn’t even realized how much he missed all of that until you came along.

He thought he’d found the loophole. He thought he could be happy again. He thought you would be safe.

“Have you always been good at spearing fish?” you asked as you watched him one day as he stood on two rocks in the middle of the stream, pulling out his spear to show off a fish on the end of it.

“No,” he laughed, “definitely not. It takes practice. Could you pass me the bucket, please?”

You hummed in response as you got up to grab the bucket Hansol put the fish in to carry back to his den.

Hansol looked up, staring off into the woods while he waited. But something unusual caught his eye off to his right on the opposite side of the stream you were on. Peeking out from behind a tree was a face that was much too familiar. She hadn’t aged at all, but that wasn’t what sent chills down his spine. It was the fact she was there at all. And he knew what it meant.

Hansol whipped his head toward you to see that you were already stepping on one of the rocks to lean over and hand him the bucket he asked for.

“Wait, _____, no--!”

It was like deja vu. Watching you fall happened in slow motion. He tried to reach out to catch you, but you were just barely out of his reach. Your head hit against a rock with a noise that made him whimper. But this time, the one he loved didn’t die on impact.

Hansol dropped the spear and jumped into the water, wading through to get to you. The water level was low so it was easy to get to you, but it didn’t make him any less panicked. He said your name over and over, even when he’d gathered your wet body in his arms and gotten you back to shore, laying you down in the grass and maneuvering you so your head was in his lap. He could see that your eyes were starting to go out of focus, going back in briefly before the same thing happened again.

Hansol looked back up toward where he’d seen the witch. She had an amused smirk on her face with a glint in her eyes. She tapped on her wrist like there was a watch there. Time? Time! Did he have time to save you?

He had to get away from you. Run as far away from you as he could before the curse could take effect on you and claim your life, too. He didn’t even think twice as he stood up and bolted in whatever direction, leaving you there alone on the bank of the stream. Even though he could hear you softly whimpering his name, begging for his help, as you tried to keep consciousness, he didn’t turn around. No matter how much hearing you pulled on his heartstrings, he kept running. Far, far away. Deeper into the woods where nobody would ever find him again. He’d keep himself away from other humans at all cost, even if they were injured or lost. He couldn’t risk this again. He couldn’t feed into this fantasy that he could be happy again and let somebody lose their lives because of him.

The witch chuckled as she appeared on the other side of the stream. She approached you as your eyes started to glaze over. Hansol’s name was the last thing to pass your lips before she watched all the life drain from your eyes. Because nothing could truly save you once he fell in love, she just wanted to make the guilt worse for him and let you die all alone -- and he would know that when he inevitably went snuck back to town to see if you had made it. The curse had started to take effect as soon as he felt it in his heart, and even as Hansol tried to escape, she knew he still loved you. That was why he ran, after all.

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hyunjilicious · 5 years

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Coffee Shop AU/College experience - Shawn Mendes

A/n: I love this with all my heart and i trully hope you will too!

Summary: Y/n works at a coffee shop and one day her boss asks her for help with hiring a musician. Shawn shows up at the auditions and this is their story. Shawn’s a gentleman and this story contains FLUFF and SMUT and 0 angst because everyone is happy!

Word count: +12k (this killed me so please don’t let it be for nothing)

I love you, i hope you like this and if you do please don’t hesitate to tell me!

"(Y/n)?" your boss called after you, "Come here for a second" "Uh-" you mumbled, thinking what to do first, "Just a second" You gathered the slices of pie you just cut and the two cups of coffee you just filled, put them on a tray, rushed to drop them off at the table that ordered them, and then made your way into your boss's so called office. "Uh, yeah?" you said walking in and sitting down on the small couch opposite his desk. "I decided to finally hire someone to play in here" he said, shuffling through a mountain of documents on his desk, "A few people have applied for the post and they're coming in tomorrow morning. I was thinking maybe you could help me out. Like give me a second opinion?" "Oh, sure! Finally, can't wait" you rushed to say. James started this business less than three months ago, and that was his original idea, but until now, money didn't allow him to go forward with his plan. You were all like a family there, so you knew very well how much he waited for this moment, so the simple fact that he chose you out of everyone to help him with something like this, made you slightly nervous. "Can you be here at 8?" he asked "Sure" "You're still on for the afternoon shift, though" "Yeah, of course, no problem" you agreed and after he went on to tell you about the plans he had for the coffee shop you returned to your post. The rest of the day went by pretty fast, and before you knew it, it was morning, and you and James were ready to meet the first person that applied for the job. Nothing could have prepared you for the multitude of personalities you were going to be faced with, almost none of them failing to leave you speechless, and not in the good way.

"Hi man" the first person said, "I'm Carl, when can i start?" "Hi, Carl" your boss greeted, "Just let us hear you first and if we decide you're for fit for the job we'll call you back, and you could probably start next week" Carl's eyes went wide in disappointment, and he looked at you, probably hoping you would step in. His appearance threw you off a bit, black leather from head to toe, pitch black eye shadow around his eyes and tattoos all over his neck, so the only thing you managed to do was send him a slightly reassuring smile as you motioned for him to sit down and start playing. Despite the fact that no one knew, you could sing, very well actually, so it wasn't hard for you to tell that Carl didn't hit any of the notes. His guitar was out of tune and his lyrics were beyond offensive, so you and James didn't waste a second before telling him he wasn't what you were looking for. The next person was a 50-something year old woman, that brought along a tambourine and proceeded to harmonise with her cat. Needless to say, she wasn't hired either. The next few people that entered the shop did relatively well, and you wrote down their names on a piece of paper. "The last ones were fairly good" you confessed as you waited to see whether someone else was going to show up, "But im not a fan of any of them" "Yeah, me neither" James sighed rubbing his palms along his face, "I might need to postpone this, I wanna be satisfied with the person we hire" "Yeah well" you said, trying to lift his mood, "we still have 30 minutes left, who knows what rockstar is gonna walk through that door?" "I don't want a rock start though, I dont need anyone to scare my customers away" he joked "We'll see" you laughed, and before you managed to continue with his joke, the door opened, as probably what was the last applicant walked in. You've never been good at reading people, but this boy yelled talent and charisma. Well, soon to be discovered charisma, as his cheeks were on fire while he struggled to keep his breathing regulated. "Hi, hello" he mumbled shyly, tugging at the roots of his curls at the back of his head, "I'm here to apply for the-" "Sure! Yes" James beamed, gesturing for the new boy to sit down on his designated chair. You couldn't help but smile broadly as you made eye contact with the stranger and considering how bad his hands were shaking around his guitar case, you decided to look away, in order to not make him even more nervous than he already was, "What's your name?" you asked kindly after you introduced yourself. "I'm Shawn, Mendes, nice to meet you" he mumbled, setting his guitar into his lap, and waited to see if you we're going to ask anything else. Normally, James would've asked about experience and stuff like that, but considering how Shawn was already sweating buckets in front of you, he decided against it, and urged the boy to just start playing. "Yeah, ok" Shawn whispered to himself as he wiped his palms against his jean covered thighs. A few seconds later, he started playing, and even though he probably wasn't the biggest talent you have ever seen, he was something else. He was way too good for this position, way too involved in the song that you later found out he actually wrote himself, way too genuine for this kind of gig, but neither you, nor James took that into consideration when you offered him the job on the spot. "Are you serious?" he asked shocked "Don't be so surprised" your boss chuckled, "You're really good" "Yeah, that song?" you laughed, all of a sudden completely mesmerized by this boy and his small performance, "Is this what you do? I mean you obviously know some stuff" "Um- well yeah, I'm focusing on music, that's what I want to do. Gotta start somewhere right?" he chuckled sweetly, starting to regain his composure. "Well Shawn" your boss said standing up to shake his hand, "I'm glad you're starting with us" "Thank you so, so much" he exclaimed, before moving to shake your hand too. The coffee shop was supposed to undergo a few minor changes here and there in order to set up a small stage-like area, and since it was a few days until it would all be ready, your boss decided Shawn should start on Monday, this way allowing a 4 day time period for the renovation process. "Turn the sign around on your way out" your boss joked as Shawn was about to leave, "You're one of us now" With a small chuckle, he waved you two goodbye and proudly spun the little "Open/Closed" sign before making his way out the door. "I'm so glad we found this guy" James sighed, turning on the machines as the customers were going flood in any second. "I know, right?" you laughed, picking up your bag, "See you in 4 hours" "Bye, (Y/n)" your boss yelled as he made his way into his back office, "Thanks again" For the next days, until Shawn was supposed to begin, you found yourself feeling like you were in high school all over again. You remembered what it was like to wait days for your geography class in order to see that ginger guy you were so scared to talk to, and you couldn't help but feel like this was exactly the same. There were supposed to be 3 hours of live music a week, one hour a day, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Sundays. You were thankful for the fact that your boss knew nothing about music and allowed Shawn to perform anything he wanted, as even if you had only heard one song, you could tell you were going to love the others as well. Saturday night, as you were going through your Instagram feed, a message from an unknown number popped up at the top of your screen. "Hey (Y/n), it's Shawn, I'm sorry I'm texting you like this, but I was hoping maybe I could send you a recording of the songs I chose for Monday and maybe you could tell me if they're ok. I don't want to let James down, and I'm thinking since you work there maybe you can help me. I totally get it if you don't have time or anything, so don't be afraid to tell me off and I'm sorry I'm putting this on you" As you read the text, your heart grew a bit. You read it again, and again, smiling more every time, and your palms got sweatier by the second as you tried to think of a response. "Hahah, hi Shawn, of course, send them to me!" "This means a lot, thank you, listen to them when you can, just you know, before Monday" A few seconds later, you received three attachments: "There's nothing holding me back", "She'll be the one", "Youth" You played them in that order, and the rollercoaster of emotions this boy sent you through was not something you anticipated. Your heart raced with unexplained jealousy as his deep and slightly raspy voice sang through your speakers, about a love so beautiful you could only see materialise in a book. The first song, its riff, the bridge, the lyrics, made you imagine what it would be like to have a song like that written about you. When the second one started, before you got a chance to analyse the words, you had built up a whole story inside your head, about how he's found a girl that would be his' in every sense of the word, only to have your world come crushing down as his voice reached your ears. You were not the kind to get easily impressed but goose bumps and tears started to mock you as the recording played on. The last song was exactly what you didn't need to hear. So beautifully constructed, and so perfectly played, you seriously found yourself speechless as you realised you had to give him your opinion. "These... these are incredible, wow" "They're good? Thank god" "They're good!? I hope you're just modest and actually realise what you have here" you typed out. "Stop lol" "Ok, so you know! Good!" "You'd tell me if they sucked, right?" "The vocals are honest, the guitar is catchy, well yeah they're no Bohemian Rhapsody but they're just so so good, I swear" "Thank you for tickling my ego, (Y/n)" "Any time, as long as you won't have anyone bawling their eyes out at that second song of yours, I think you're ok" "(Y/N)!! I'll change it" "I never said you should change it" As you waited for him to answer, bubbles kept appearing and disappearing, he kept typing and then erasing, he was nervous and it was basically your fault. "Just give me half an hour" he eventually said. "No! Don't change anything, keep the song, damn it!" After you replied, his fingers must've caught on fire as text after text from him kept showing up on your screen. "No, listen, I'm glad you told me, I've only played this to like 2 people before and I didn't realise what they were like" "I don't think it could make anyone cry, but if you find it sad, I don't want to play it in a cafe as 6 in the afternoon" "Are people gonna be sipping their coffees and go- who hurt this kid?" "Because I don't want that" "Don't leave me like this, I want to impress James" You rolled your eyes as your cheeks were beginning to hurt from the ridiculous smile this boy put on your face. You started to type an answer, but he wouldn't stop sending text after text, so on impulse, you pressed the call button and waited. "Yes?" Shawn's voice broke trough your speaker. "Change something and you're dead" "Wow ok-" he gasped, breathing out directly into he microphone, "I won't... Thanks" he said shyly. As much as you wanted right now to get more information about the songs, you decided against asking for details over the phone, " No problem, but I'm just curious-" you cringed, "What were you gonna do with that half an hour?" You refused to believe he was just going to come up with another song on the spot, and you were right. "I have a few more songs, I was gonna record another one for you" "Well honestly-" you sighed, driving a hand through your hair, "I'm not gonna stop you. I mean if you get bored you can record and send me more" "That's giving me anxiety" Shawn laughed, "But as soon as I have something decent, I'll send it to you" "I'm not gonna fight with you" you sighed, "I'm pretty sure everything you have passed decent a long time ago, but no hurry" "You're too sweet" Shawn chuckled, you heard the smile in his voice and imagined his rosy cheeks, it was impossible not to realise how nervous he got. "I appreciate this a lot" "No worries. Go work on your stuff, I'll see you on Monday" "Thanks Y/n" he said truthfully, "So much" "You got it!" You hung up the phone, and felt yourself morph into the cushions of your couch. Your heart was beating all the way up to your neck and the simply wasn't a way for you to unclasp your fingers from around your phone. Unsurprisingly, a few moments later, you found yourself listening to his recordings again... and again, and breathed in deeply as an idea materialised inside your head. You hurried to your room and pulled out your old guitar, feeling it in your hands bringing up so many memories from highschool, back when music was still your main focus. Getting the guitar out of the case felt surreal and to some extent, you regretted doing it as you knew the chances of letting it out of your hands in the near future were slim. As you listened to There's nothing holding me back over and over again, you couldn't help but find yourself trying to recreate it. You musical ear was unbeatable so it wasn't hard for you to pin point the exact rhythm and sound, and before you knew it, your fingers got a hold of the notes, hitting every single one of them. This applied only to the first part of the riff where the guitar was clear, as when he started singing and slowed down the beat, you got lost and couldn't hear anything exactly. Proud of yourself for achieving this, you busied yourself for the rest of the night, humming and playing along to whatever song came to mind, and couldn't stop smiling and gushing alone in your house thinking about what face Shawn would make if you just played him one of his own songs. Eventually, you stopped playing and even though you managed to not pick up the guitar again on Sunday, you didn't manage to keep him off your mind, so for the first time in your life, going to work on Monday felt like a breath of fresh air. As you approached the door at around 4pm, a small board that laid beside the entrance, reading "Live Music: Shawn Mendes, 6pm" in light blue chalk, caught your attention. Giggling, you walked inside, "I swear to god, we're so professional" you laughed, throwing your bag on a refrigerator and joining some of your colleagues in the back. "What are you talking about?" your boss yelled coming out of his office, a bowl of cereal in his hands, "We're like the epitome of professionalism" Dan walked into the room, shirtless, "Dude, you gave the kid that's coming to play today the keys, when he, by the way, doesn't need any, and he didn't even sign anything yet." he laughed. "He seems like a stand up guy" James said, munching on his lunch, "Cute ass too, I wonder if he's single" "Well, didn't this take an unexpected turn!" you exclaimed, going to change and get ready to start your shift. 10 minutes later you were sprinting from table to table, your mind already numb from how many orders you had been too lazy to write down, and were now trying to remember, "Hopefully they wanted almond syrup and not anything else" you thought to yourself as you filled a cup with hot chocolate. When you turned around to deliver to the tables the ridiculous amount of snacks you gathered on your tray, you saw Shawn enter the shop. You nodded to him, and upon making eye contact, his face lit up as he started walking towards you. "Hi, (Y/n)" he mumbled, following you around from table to table. "Why are you here so early?" you giggled, as you silently responded to the customers that thanked you. "I don't know how things go around here" he said, "Do you need help with that?" "Yeah, no, it's fine" you dismissed his offer, as you sat down that last of your orders. "And neither do I, so i can't really help you with that" You tried suggesting he found James and go from there, but hearing your words, panic washed over his face. To be honest, although the atmosphere around there was one of the friendliest and most laid back, you remembered how overwhelming your first day was, so you decided to help him. You led him to your boss's small office and uselessly knocked on the door. When he failed to answer, you turned the knob but it was for nothing as when you tried to push it open, it failed to move. "Shawn" you sighed, "James must've left" "Oh" he mumbled, eyes snapping to every direction as he turned to look at the shop and customers, then at you, then at the locked door. He opened his mouth to speak, failed for a second to form any kind of decent sentence and sighed deeply, "Ok" "Ok?" you pouted, "Come, I'll introduce you to the rest of the guys" Shawn just nodded and followed you. Only Dan was in at the moment, Mike and Luka probably being late as always. With his usual air of superiority, Dan tried his hardest to play off some kind of character in front of Shawn, but after a couple of minutes, he laid the guard down, realising his missconceptions were indeed, one more time, just uncalled for and unrooted. Even though they hit it off, Dan's schedule was much busier than yours so, for the hour that was left until Shawn had to start getting ready, you dragged with you, teaching him all the little things you had become so used to. After writing down on a piece of paper what three girls in the far corner of the cafe requested, you asked Shawn to go over to the counter and cut the two slices of cake they had asked for, while you went and handed the note to some other group of customers. As soon as he left, the peaceful sound of the chimes above the door reached your ears, but didn't acknowledge who came in until a small old lady tapped your shoulder. "Yes?" you smiled at her, taking in her genuinely sweet appearance. She seemed unable to do harm, the definition of a good, genuine person, so the fact that her eyes showed so much fear broke your heart. "Miss-" she spoke in a trembling voice, "Can you help me find my husband?" "Um..." you mumbled, taken aback by her question. "Is he- was he-" you stopped and cleared your throat, "We're you supposed to meet him here?" "No dear" the lady shook her head, "He was waiting for me outside the boutique on the other side of the road" "Ok" "But when I came out, he wasn't there anymore!" "Ok" you sighed, looking around you, as if you would have recognised her husband had you seen him. "Do you have a phone?" "I do" she smiled proudly, "But he doesn't" "Oh ok" you frowned, thinking of what the next step would be. Before you managed to open your mouth, Shawn came back to you. "Y/n" he called excitedly, "This ok?" You turned around. First your eyes met his and you unconsciously smiled, but then you saw the plate he was holding and noticed the pathetic excuse of a slice of cake he had - but no matter what, you didn't have the heart to tell him there was no way he could ever sell that to a customer. "It's good" you choked, completely failing to cover your feelings. "It's bad, isn't it?" he cringed, face falling as his features got covered in disappointment and desperation. "No, Shawn" you said, this time so much warmer as you placed your palm on the back of the hand he was holding the plate with, "It's ok, I promise but um-" you paused and turned to look at the old lady, but still addressed him as you spoke, "Can you take it to the-" "What's wrong?" Shawn asked, looking between the two of you. The lady explained again what had happened and he offered to go and help her look for her husband. After thanking him and taking the order to the table - but not until you fixed that awful slices Shawn cut, you tried to return to your post, but your mind was busy thinking about what could Shawn and the lady have been doing and how the search was going. "Any luck? :)" you typed and sent to Shawn. "Yes. We found her cat" he replied. "I'm not even gonna ask. Just go save the day" "She's not very helpful" "Ask if she has a picture of her husband. Maybe you'll see and recognise him" "Smart" Shawn texted and then after a minute or so, another message from him popped up on your screen. "Y/n..." "She doesn't have a picture?" you sent, laughing out loud in the middle of the coffee shop, already anticipating a multitude of weird scenarios. "She does lol" he replied, and then another bubble appeared, "BUT ITS THEIR WEDDING PHOTO" "Omg how cutee" you typed, "You're a nice guy and I know you're probably annoyed, but this is hilarious" "I'm not annoyed" he sent, "But I just hope her husband is real and that she's not crazy bc this cat already scratched me and I keep staring at every guy over 50 that walks past us. And it's uncomfortable" "I can't wait to see how this ends omg. Hurry" "I will I will" and with this, you shoved your phone back in your pocket and continued with your work. As you busied yourself with all the small things that were to be done behind the counter, minutes have passed without you taking any kind of notice. Before you knew it, someone tapped your shoulder and you were more than happy to see it was Shawn. "Oh god!" you gasped, smiling broadly as you looked up at him and met his exhausted stare, "Did you find him" "Yeees" he whined elongating the word, and leaned his head to the side as he raised his hand, carrying a yellow lily. "He went to buy her flowers and Maggie insisted I took one for you too" "Oh, how sweet" you gushed, taking the flower, "Thanks!" "I have one too" Shawn chuckled embarrassed. You grabbed the two lilies, took two small glasses from the back hoping no one would notice they were missing, and placed the flowers in water, on the side of the stage. Soon after, Shawn started to get ready, and as the evening was approaching, the cafe became so much more crowded. No matter how much you trusted him and believed in his songs, you still had butterflies in your stomach as you saw that most of the people simply couldn't look away from their phones and refused to pay any kind of attention to the stage. A change was still possible as Shawn was still tuning his guitar, and you sat down at the bar and turned around to listen to him perform. When he was ready, Shawn tapped the microphone faintly, and tried to introduce himself, but no one was listening. You turned to James who was making a cocktail behind the bar, and sent him a pleading look. Luckily enough, he took the hint and stormed to the stage, pushed Shawn aside and spoke loudly into the microphone. "Good evening!" he beamed. "Thanks for coming here tonight, as some of you might not know, we're trying something new. We have a guest, and I'd appreciate it if you took a moment to listen to what he prepared because frankly-" James sighed, "This kid rocks, so I hope you'll have a great time, and after the program is finished we serve Blueberry sunrise cocktails on the house! I'm gonna stop rambling and ask you to welcome Shawn Mendes" When he stepped of the stage, James looked as if just an ounce of more air would have made his collapse. He breathed out, finally relaxing and walked back to his spot, "Was it obvious?" "Not really" you smiled, squinting your eyes. "I feel the adrenaline-" he began saying, but then stopped when the first strums of the guitar filled the room. You turned to look at Shawn. He was something else - entirely absorbed into what he was doing, a completely different person than who he'd been until he walked on stage. Nothing about him came off as clumsy or indecisive, every note followed the other in perfect harmony, his fingers moving along the fret board with a confidence you never knew he had. The moment he raised his head and looked into the room, Shawn took a deep breath and allowed his upper eye lids to lower as he started singing, a melody so beautiful in it's own painful way, that right then and there, your felt all the hairs stand up on your body. His voice, soft and warm where required and raspy and dominant on the bridges, simply struck you, and to say it didn't have anything to do with what he played at the addition would be a crass understatement. Much to your surprise, but rightfully so, the people listened to him carefully, from the first note to the very last. You watched him with a genuine smile on your lips, cursing under your breath whenever someone waved at you in need of a refill. It didn't take long until he was done - technically an hour passed, but it surely didn't feel like anywhere close to that. When he finished performing, as he gathered his stuff and thanked the people that enthusiastically stood up showing their support, you saw James come to you. "We did a freaking good job picking this kid" he beamed, grabbing your shoulder, "I'm proud of you" "Of me?" you laughed, "Why of me? It's Shawn who-" "Well, you listened to his songs to see if they were ok and Y/n, they were so much more than that" "Sure" you shrugged amused, "Let me take the credit, I don't mind" After that, your boss joined Dan at the bar, the two of them managing the drinks while Shawn enjoyed a well deserved beer. You finished serving your assigned tables and walked over to them, letting your palm run across Shawn's back as you passed him, to which he responded with a pleased smile. You all hung out as much as you could during the remaining hours of the program, and then started tidying up the place as 1am was fast approaching. Shawn found himself naturally helping all of you out even if no one ever asked him to, and not to anyone's surprise, you all had quite a good time cleaning up the cafe in the late hours of the night. Shortly after it turned 1:30, you lazily dragged your feet through the back door, going to throw some thrash out before finally making your way home. "Hey, Y/n" Shawn called, grabbing your elbow out of nowhere. You shrugged surprised and turned to see him with his phone pressed to his ear, nodding slowly as he listened to the other person talk, "You're insane!" he laughed. You threw out the garbage and and then waited for him to finish talking on the phone, "Aaliyah, stop" Shawn continued, "Yes, I'm gonna get drunk, I promise- No, don't tell mum- I love you too but I still wouldn't give you any alcohol" You smiled amused, realising halfway through the conversation that the person he was talking to was nowhere near a threat to your growing crush on him. Now, without any doubts inside your mind, you relaxed as he ended the conversation and placed his phone inside his pocket while turning to you. "Go get drunk Shawn" you laughed, not allowing him to speak. He opened his mouth, but eventually just giggled, leaning his head to the side. "Do you wanna get drunk?" "I have classes at 12 tomorrow" you pouted, leaning back against the back of your car, "I mean today, because it's almost 2" "Why did you stay so long?" Shawn asked shocked, walking over to you. "It was fun" you whined, "But now I'm super tired and as much I'd love a drink right now, the responsible thing to do would be to go home" "No, of course!" Shawn jumped to agree, and he did it with a smile, "Go home and sleep and-" "But before, like-" you mumbled, cutting him off, "I kinda wanna show you something" Shawn nodded with curiosity, and reluctantly made his way inside to bring his guitar after you asked him to do so. As you waited, a rush of adrenaline overtook your body, so you pushed yourself off the car and ran inside after him. You stopped by a fridge and stuck your head inside. "Vodka? Beer? Tequila? Rum?" you yelled over your shoulder. "Y/n" Shawn sighed, coming up behind you, guitar case in hand, "You don't have to-" "What's the college experience without hangover morning classes?" you giggled, "What do you like to drink?" "I really wanna say vodka but you need to get home" You rolled your eyes and then looked at him tauntingly, "I'm starting to think you changed your mind about wanting to drink with me" "School's important" he said, and the sarcasm that dripped off his lips made you stare him down until he gave up, "You sure?" "Yeah, I'm sure" you beamed, grabbing a vodka bottle and a orange juice one. "Plus the class I have tomorrow is ridiculous, the teacher is insane" "What do you mean, insane?" Shawn asked as he followed you back outside, going over to sit down on the bench where your colleagues spend their cigarette breaks. "It's a long story" you sighed, gathering your legs under your body so you could sit facing him, "You'd have to see it to believe it" "I'm not doing anything tomorrow" "Oh" you laughed, "If you can wake up, I'll gladly take you to the crazy show that histology is" "Deal" Shawn nodded. After that, he excitedly handed you the guitar, and faking confidence, you pulled it out of its case and set it in your lap. Unfortunately, your cockiness faded, and when you had to start playing, you froze. Under Shawn's expecting stare and his overly excited expression, you couldn't move a muscle. "Sorry" you whined, covering your face with your palms, "I'm not always like this" "No, I get you" he encouraged. He shifted further towards you and spread his along the back of the bench, his hand coming up somewhere behind you. "Just strum it for a few seconds and imagine I'm not here" "How could I imagine you're not here if it's for you I'm playing?" "Imagine I'm someone else" "That wouldn't make sense" you rolled your eyes, "It is for you!" "Did you write me a love song?" Shawn teased, opening the bottle, taking a sip and then handing it to you, "For courage" "Don't think I can win you over with this thing" you said after you drank, "It's like 10 seconds long" "Yeah you can" he nodded, closing his eyes shortly as he spoke to emphasize his point, gesture that only managed to make you even more nervous. "Come on" "But don't laugh at me" you said pointing a finger at him. He promised he wouldn't, and after wiping your palms against your shirt, you took a deep breath and settled your hands on their designated spots on the guitar. Realising Shawn would be able to recognise he chords if you just kept your hand on the neck of the guitar, on impulse, you started playing the riff of There's nothing holding me back, and something your might for ever regret, was not looking up at him as you played. "This is all I know" you mumbled after finishing the part that you were familiar with. Shawn had his mouth comically open, as his eye brows were probably two times higher on his forehead than you were used to. "Shut up. Did you get how to play it from the recording?" You just nodded shyly. "I'm never sending you any of my stuff ever again" he belted, trying to seem offended, "I can't reproduce songs like that. Why didn't you tell me you were so good at this?" "I used to be good, I'm not that-" "No" he cut you off, shuffling closer to you, "No-uh. Don't tell me you also sing" "I do" you laughed, placing the instrument back in its case, "I only started playing guitar so I'd develop my musical ear and hear myself better" Shawn widened his eyes suggestively and as soon as the guitar was out of reach, safely laying on the ground behind the bench, you got to drinking. And you did it wholeheartedly, chugging mouthfuls of vodka like it was water, laughing more and more at every humorless joke Shawn told, getting closer and closer to him with each passing minute; the need in the pit of your stomach to jump and kiss him only growing bigger and bigger with every suggestive longing stare he blessed you with. "I wanna meet 14 year old Shawn" you cried, bringing your hand up to caress his cheek with the back of your fingers as you were now laying on your back with your head in his lap. Shawn leaned into your touch, waiting a moment before ruining it, "You don't wanna do that" "Why not? I think you were the absolute cutest" you countered as he had been talking about how he got into music for the past half an hour. "I looked and acted horrible, Y/n" he whined, finally grabbing your hand, lazily holding onto it as he guided it away from his face, "I wouldn't want you around that" "Did you just call yourself 'that'?" you giggled, "Don't! 14 year old me would've loved the 14 year old you" Shawn rolled his eyes and grabbed your cheek, leaning down to look at you as he spoke, "I was an asshole!" "Cute asshole?" you giggled. "Why aren't you taking me seriously?" he laughed, his warm hand still pressed to the side of your face, "I'm serious!" "So am I" you countered. "I was taking shirtless selfies sending them to girls.. for whatever reason I thought they'd just magically fall in love with me" Shawn whined, shaking his head as he looked up into the sky as if asking the world for answers. "And did it work?" you laughed. "Of course it didn't, what are you talking about?" "Has drinking laying down been invented?" you asked, changing the subject as if you didn't, with all your heart wish to keep it going. The words just slipped from your mouth and despite regretting it, all the alcohol you had ingested made you instantly forget about the previous topic of conversation. "Wanna try?" Shawn smirked, removing the top of the bottle as he looked down at you. Truthfully, you contemplated for a little while but eventually you decided against experimenting with this right now, you so stood up and drank normally, on your own. After placing the bottle to the side again, Shawn held your stare, causing deep sparkles to electrify every corner of your whole body. He smiled kindly, an expression that was hard for you to read. Something in it didn't give you the confidence you needed, and even through your blood boiled, even through your ears were buzzing and all you could hear was the sound of your heart going into overdrive, something failed you and you didn't have the courage you wish you did. When you felt yourself gather up everything you had in you and leaned in, another wave of shock ran along your body, and instead of going for his lips, you his your face in his neck, and the be honest, the only reason you managed to keep breathing after that, was the fact that Shawn wrapped his arms around, bringing you a tiny bit closer. "You tired?" he asked softly, and even though he probably didn't mean to, he spoke directly into your exposed skin, bringing back to life those goosebumps that you were so happy you got rid of. With your forehead still pressed against the side of his neck, you nodded no, even if your eyes threatened to fall closed at any second. "Lets take an uber" Shawn suggested, this time tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, hoping maybe he'd be able to see your eyes. That didn't happen. "Come on" he laughed. "If I go home-" you sighed pulling back a little, "It means I'll go to sleep. If I go to sleep it means I have to wake up and if I wake up, it means I have to go to school" "But you said the teacher's crazy" Shawn laughed, grabbing both your hands, "Crazy teachers are the best teachers" "Second best" you countered, leaning your head to the side, "I gotta give credit to those real teachers that put passion into their work" "That sounds way too politically correct for you, Y/n, wow" "Stop" you rolled your eyes, standing up from the bench, "I'm used to this lunatic, it's not fun anymore" "Yeah, but like-" Shawn said slyly, coming up beside you, "I'm not" "Wait, you were serious about that?" you questioned, looking up at him with a frown, "I thought you were joking, god" And as it turned out, he wasn't. One of the things that drew you to this job was how conveniently near your house it was. Despite swearing up and down that you walked that distance every night after work, Shawn didn't show any kind of sign of letting you to it again - not tonight, and he also tried, and failed, to convince you to stop walking on the streets alone at night. You appreciated the concern, but just smiled and giggled a proud "No" while he shook his head. You shared an Uber, and he dropped you off first. Since the day before you had driven to work, your car wasn't at home and unlike the the coffee shop, the school was much further. Due to the short drive, you and Shawn didn't have too much time to argue, and agreed that he'd be in front of your apartment at 11 that morning. Then you'd do to school and after that to work. Now that you thought about it during your nightly contemplative shower, you realized another whole day to spend with him was a bit too much, considering you barely knew each other - but there was an excuse, you were drunk and he was cute. Afterwards, you set your alarm and fell asleep soundly in a matter of minutes. The day's been full and this night's sleep, although cut short, was very much awaited and more then welcome. You slept soundly and as if waking up in the morning wasn't already the most hideous part of the day, what annoyed you beyond words was that the sound that pulled you out of your sleep wasn't coming from your phone, which was inches away from you - it was coming from the front door, that was all the way on the other end of the apartment. You stomped your feet childishly against the floor, slapped your hand on the knob and dragged the door open with a loud groan, "What- Oh!" "Why aren't you dressed?" Shawn laughed, squinting his eyes. "What are you doing here" you whined, walking away from the door and crawling all the way over to the couch. "We're supposed to leave in 15 minutes" he said calmly taking his jacket off. "Yeah sure" you scoffed, face sunk into the cushions, "Make yourself at home" "I brought you food" he defended himself, and with a delay of a few seconds you looked up, and you did it just in time to see a small bag flying towards you. "What the-" you mumbled, grabbing the bag. "Avocado and toast" he said over his shoulder as he started rummaging through all the cupboards and drawers in your small kitchen. Your heart rate went up. After pulling the bag open with too much force and managing to rip it in the process too, you stuck your hand in, ready to find all the goods. "There only toast in here" you whined, disappointment hitting you like a brick. You stood up and walked to the kitchen, more or less in a straight line, "Why did you do this to me?" "Relax" Shawn laughed, opening an ice cream box, "I didn't put the avocado on the bread because it would've gotten all soft and gross" Failing to suppress a smile, you tip toed to his side, and leaned in to look into the the box, "Oh here it is" you giggled, "Sorry" Shawn just laughed in response and commanded you to sit down, while he got everything ready. Although you felt somewhat bad for pointing all over your kitchen whenever he asked for any ingredient or utensils, there was no energy or will inside your body for you to actually do anything more. When everything was ready, and the plate of food waited on the table in front of you, you actually stood up, to be able to face Shawn properly, "I'm sorry I'm acting like a bitch. Thank you, this is the sweetest thing, I appreciate it" "I know you do" Shawn chuckled, cupping the back of your head so he could kiss your forehead, "You asked me to do all of this" "What!?" "I figured you forgot" he laughed, sitting down opposite from your spot at the table. "That's ok" "Shawn, what the fuck" you whined, plopping back down on your chair. You sighed deeply, "How could I have possibly asked you to do all of this and why did you listen to me?" "You also asked me to let you dye my hair, and to that I didn't agree" he shrugged amused, digging into he food he just got ready, "So you're not forcing me to do anything" "You know-" you sighed, "I'm starting to think this is all like upside down. Like you are the one who just had his first concert and you're the one who was supposed to party all night with their friends. But somehow, I got drunk and you had to listen to me talk shit for god knows how long last night, and now, instead of being hungover, you're here making me food" He was pleased. It was readable on his face. "Eat" he smiled. "How are you even so awake at this hour?" you mumbled, dropping the subject as you started eating, feeling completely defeated. "James called me" Shawn said which made you look up at him curious. "I'm not playing tonight" "What? Why?" you asked. "He said he rushed with the program and that he thinks it's better if we have at least one day between the shows" "Oh, ok" you breathed out relieved, "I thought something happened" "Last night?" he questioned before taking a bite of the toast, "What could've happened last night, I mean we locked the-" And that was when the food got lodged in your throat. "Shawn?" your voice trembled, "Did you lock the door?" His eyes widened as he looked to the side, "Didn't you-" "Holy fuck-" you yelled, jumping from your seat and sprinting back to your bedroom. In case you had ever during your life wondered what was the worst thing about not hearing your phone while you slept, you figured it out now. 7 unread text messages from Dan and 3 missed calls. "Please tell me you came in early and are somewhere inside" "YOU IDIOT" "You're so mtfken lucky I came in before James" "He would've strangled you" "LOCK THE FRIKEN DOOR WHEN YOU LEAVE WTF DID YOU EVEN DO LAST NIGHT" "Shawn.... that's what you did.didn't you? that's why you forgot. You slut, you're lucky I love you" "Btw you owe me jahaha" After reading all of them you walked back into the kitchen were Shawn was waiting, probably being too polite to just walk into your bedroom without you inviting him. "Everything ok?" "Yeah" you sighed, throwing your phone on the counter and covering your face with your hands, "Too much shit happened today already and I just woke up" "And we need to go see the crazy lady" Shawn laughed, knowing he just pushed your buttons further. "Fuck" you whined, "I managed to forget about that too" After checking the time, you felt your veins on the verge of exploding, "I need to get ready in 6 minutes" "Go" Shawn said, nodding his head in the direction you just came from, "I'll put everything in the fridge" Your heart got filled up with all kinds of emotions that were too new and pure for you to put your finger on, so in lack of ways to express what you actually felt, you thanked him shyly and rushed to the bathroom. Even if the sight of you in the mirror made you want to slap yourself for letting Shawn see you like this, you couldn't remove from your mind the image of him smiling in awe as you got way too excited over some trivial breakfast that probably took him 15 minutes to make. But he did drive all the way over here and put up with your morning attitude, and you just couldn't help but giggle against the tooth brush the was lodged between your teeth. After being done in the bathroom, you started walking towards your closet thinking about what you should wear, but instead, somewhere halfway along your hallway, you turned around and headed back to the kitchen. Shawn was standing in his previous spot, scrolling through his phone. "You're not dressed" he laughed, looking up at you as soon as he heard you enter the room, "Why aren't you dressed" You just giggled as you rubbed your eyes, and the fact that you didn't say anything prompted him to, "As cute as those hearts look on your buttcheeks, I don't think that's appropriate for college" "Shawn" you whined, still having trouble putting into action the thoughts that got to back into the kitchen in the first place. "Y/n" he chuckled, throwing his phone to the side and mirroring your attitude. When he pouted at you playfully with half of his upper body leaning on top of the table in your direction, you finally closed the distance between the two of you. He straightened his back and looked up. "Thanks" you smiled, grabbing the sides of his face. Shawn seemed as pleased as ever, and the smirk on his face when you placed your knee on the edge of his chair between his tights was way too much. He tilted his head back, leaning into your touch as you held his cheeks, and he did look at you calmly for just a few seconds, as they fluttered closed when you started leaning in. Despite letting his guard down entirely, he met you half way, his lips brushing over yours so softly at the beginning you felt waves of delight follow the traces of his touch. Eventually, you kissed him, a longing peck on the corner of his mouth, and the sole feeling of his lips curling into a smile ignited your cravings. Shawn grabbed the back of your legs pulling you completely into him, and his hands traveled upwards, rousingly stopping at the top of your thighs. Taking in a deep breath of air, you both leaned in opposite directions, going in with a fervent need you were so pleased to see he has be harboring too. Your hands got lost in his hair and his arms had wrapped around your body. Uncomfortable - it was, your knee hurt against the wooden surface of the chair, your back was worringly straight as Shawn kept your body locked against his, your neck muscles were strained but all you felt was pleasure, emanating from his touch, his lips, from his tongue against your and from his crazed breathing. In need of a break, you sucked his bottom lip between yours and pressed your forehead against his when his hold tightened significantly around you. That was a sign it was time to relax and let go, but it took you another moment to gather yourself. "Someone brushed their teeth?" Shawn teased even if he was in no position to do so, as his fiery cheeks and miles wide smile gave off nothing but awe. "Shut up" you scoffed trying to back away but he tightened his hold just in time. "I'm sorry" he chuckled shaking his head from side to side, "But you have no idea how hard it was for me to not do this last night" You pouted disappointed, "Why didn't you?" "You were drunk" he said simply, "That's not-" "What a gentleman!" you jokingly gushed. "I did bring you a lily, didn't I?" "And I left it by the stage..." "But my lily is there too" "Oh" you laughed out loud finally pulling away so you could go change, "They're gonna die together, how romantic!" "But" Shawn continued, pointing a finger, "They're the only lilies on a stage full of instruments, so that's gotta count for something" By now you had already reached the door, but stopped and spoke over your shoulder, turning just slightly, "Just like we're the only ones in that coffee shop that can sing!" Initially, his mouth fell open, but then he turned to smiling, "You can also sing!? I thought you just played-" You loved how happy and playful he made you feel, so you just sprinted to your room, way beyond satisfied with how you left him. After getting dressed, you left for class. You stopped for coffee because none of you actually thought of making some at home, parked in the middle of nowhere as every space in front of your school was taken due to the fact that it was already the middle of the day, and ended up running up the stairs of the main building and down the corridor, only to see all your classmates still waiting in front of the classroom. "It's occupied" a girl sighed as soon as she saw your confused expression, "And no one cares? The class was supposed to start 20 minutes ago" Panting, you agreed with her and decided to find each other in case any of you heard something new, and then you turned to Shawn, "And we thought we we're gonna be late" "We are late" he said distraught, looking over the crowd, trying to spot someone that might look like a teacher. "Think I have enough time to go to the bathroom?" "Go" you laughed, "See those stairs?" You pointed to the end of the hallway and then looked at him, "Go down one level, and it's the first door on the left" "What if the teacher comes?" Shawn asked worried, still scanning the crowd. Unconsciously, you grabbed his hand, "I know you didn't go to college, but relax" "Does my anxiety show?" Shawn laughed. After shaking his head and shrugging away the bad energy, he kissed your lips, and as natural as it felt it electrified you whole. Eventually he left, and you walked a bit behind him, getting out of the crowd of people, and sat on a bench so you wouldn't have problems finding each other afterwards. A few minutes later, the situation hadn't changed, at least not for the better. Now there were actually even more students waiting by the door and no teacher had been seen around. Coincidentally, just when you turned to look for Shawn, you saw him head down the hallway. How he managed to fit in so well made you warm inside but your blood ran cold when two blondes turned their heads as soon as they passed him. You saw him walk proudly, head held high, arms hanging loosely around his frame, his frame that you had just a bit too much fun analysing. You just now realised how much like a genuine college kid he looked - his boots were missing but the white sport shoes he wore didn't fail you, he wore the irreplaceable black skinny jeans, and while you knew him with loose dress shirts with one or two too many buttons left outdone, now he had a white simple shirt that hugged him in all the goddamned good places - with the finishing touch being represented by the tiniest backpack in the world hanging on his shoulders. To say you tried would be a lie, you just nonchalantly stared until eventually standing up and walking in his direction. That cold air of superiority that had just surrounded him turned sweeter as he was now all just a smile. "What did you do?" you giggled. "I found out what happened" he spoke into your ear. When you pulled away to look into his eyes, he signaled with his stare for you to check behind him, where three teachers were approaching the group. "What did you do?" you asked shocked, and he broke character. "Nothing" Shawn laughed as the door finally opened. You both sat down somewhere in the middle of the classroom and got ready. He opened his back pack and pulled out a piece of paper, and two pens. "Shawn" you gushed, grabbing his bicep and placing your chin of top of his shoulder, "This is a debate class, we don't take notes" "You're just jealous" he scoffed, nudging your nose with his. "You got me" you joked and the two of you got ready and waited for the presentations to begin. A few minutes in, and Shawn was already throwing you side glances every time someone used a word he never heard before in his entire life - and that was way more often than you anticipated. The class was two hours long but it always felt like no more than 30 minutes. At the beginning you were shocked but now, all the crazy things that happen simply amuse you. Shawn on the other hand, was amazed every time someone raised their voice, someone yelled, or someone left the class without saying a word. Eager to give him the full college experience, you wrote down the main aspects of String Theory and asked Shawn to raise his hand and answer. He did so, red cheeks and trembling voice but he did it, and boy, was he proud of himself when the lab assistant congratulated him. "What's your name?" the teacher asked. "Shit" Shawn mumbled, "Um... Roberto?" "Very well Roberto" she nodded, walking around the class, "We're gonna take a small break and after that, you're gonna help me present the rest of the lecture. You're excused" "What the fuck did you just do to me?" he cried, turning to you as most of the students stood up and left the classroom. "Relax, she's gonna forget" you waved him off, "And if she doesn't, I'll ask her to let me present with her, instead of you" "Do you know the next part?" "No" you laughed, "But I know more than you do" You could tell he almost tried to not let you take the fault and probably embarrass yourself in front of the class, but you both knew he had no idea what the whole lecture was about, so he slowly backed down. Just when you were starting to complain about not eating more before class, the teacher slowly approached the two of you. "Roberto, can I have a word with you?" Not going to lie, your face fell. Shawn stood up slowly and followed her, and they settled by her desk, her leaning playfully against it and him awkwardly standing in front of her with his hands being his back. You saw him nod to what she was saying but the buzz in the room made it impossible for you to actually hear anything. Trying to get a better view, you walked to the widow and hopped on the sill, from this angle seeing Shawn's freaked out expression ten times better. He looked terrified, mortified even, at one point he brought his hands together in front of his chest and leaned forward faintly, as it deeply apologizing for something. A few moments later he walked away from her and made his way to you. "What happened?" you asked excitedly, extending your hands for him to take. "Um..." he cringed as he tilted his head to side with a slight frown, "Nothing?" Your eyes widened, "Tell me!" "What's she doing?" Shawn asked, so he wouldn't have to turn around and see for himself. You peaked over his shoulder and figured she had left the classroom as she was nowhere to be seen, "She's gone. Tell me" "She kinda asked me out" "What" you belted, pulling on his hands to bring him closer, "You're not serious" "She knows I'm not from this class and she said that there shouldn't be anything wrong with-" "And what did you say?" you cut him off, way too excited. "That I'm in a relationship?" "With me?" you gushed. "I- I mean, I didn't tell her that" he chuckled teasingly, "Wouldn't want her to be jealous of you or anything" "Oh my god" you giggled, grabbing his cheeks to pull him in for a kiss. Aware you were still in the class room, you didn't wrap your legs around him trying to not cross a line or anything, but Shawn's hands grabbed your hips as he pressed himself against you. After placing more than a few lazy pecks along his bottom lip, you made your way to his jaw line, advancing further down his neck, sucking mercilessly on his smooth skin. Every time he moaned into your ear you felt yourself buzz more and more and soon enough you realised it was time to stop. "Let's go back" you said softly as you caught your breath. "Back home?" he grinned. "Nope" "Aren't you turned on at all?" Shawn laughed, following you back to your seats. You turned to him and contemplated. "I promised I'd give you the college experience" "I'm kinda hard and I-" Shawn started but you ignored him completely as you grabbed both of your bags. Taking his hand, you heard a faint "Thank god" coming from him as you dragged him to the door. As you turned the knob, you instantly jumped back as the door flew open by itself. Before you managed to realise what was happening, Mrs. Rutth stormed past you, "Back to your seats" When you felt Shawn's hold loosen around your fingers you pulled his hand, and nodded towards the door. Everything happened in a split second and before you knew it, the two of you were sprinting down the hallway with your teachers threats barely audible in the back as she settled for yelling after the two of you from the threshold. "If this is what college is actually like, I might enroll next year" Shawn panted as soon as you stopped after you passed a corner. "Don't make that mistake" you giggled. He cocked his head to the side smiling wide before he grabbed the sides of your face and pulled you in for a longing kiss on your forehead, "Did your mood just change in less than 2 minutes?" you giggled. "No" he laughed, "But you're cute no matter what mood I'm in" You wrapped your arms around him and started walking backwards, forcing him to stumble after you, "I'll fix it" "You don't have to fix anything" Shawn confessed as you pushed him through the doors of the first bathroom you laid eyes on. You looked up, "Full college experience, remember?" "You fucked guys in the bathroom before?" Shawn questioned, backing you against the wall. "When I want something, I gotta have it, ok?" you defended yourself. "And then you just drop 'em?" "I would never drop someone that made me avocado and toast" "Jesus" Shawn breathed as leaned forward, inching closer to your neck. He kept his longing stare fixed on your features for as long as he could, and when he averted his gaze going lower towards your jaw line, you saw his eyes flutter closed. In a matter of seconds, his lips brushed over your skin causing goosebumps to arise all over your body, before his teeth finally sank into your neck. "Ok.." you moaned, wrapping your arms around his back for support. Shawn grabbed the back of your thighs and pushed you up, bringing you at the same level with him. Now he wasn't towering over you anymore, but your face was still hidden in his shoulder as he did his magic. "I really don't wanna fuck you in this bathroom" Shawn panted, pressing himself closer to you as he looked up, "This isn't what I imagined" "No, this is exactly what I imagined" you shook your head, "But we were in the bathroom of the coffee shop" "Stop" he laughed weakly, planting his lips against your one more time. You kissed passionately, noses bumping and moans everywhere, doing nothing but accentuating the feeling that got you in the bathroom in the first place. You steadied your hold around him with one arm and pushed yourself off the wall with the other, and Shawn unconsciously followed your lead, spinning the two of you around. Lowering yourself, you greedily kissed down his neck as you hands roamed his body. Your heart beat was boomed in your ears, but irronicaly, the way his muscles clenched under your touch made you relax heavily. Seeing him just as nervous as you were ignited sparks all over your body. With your hands hooked into his jeans, you straightened your back and kissed his lips slowly, pulling him after you. Crashing against one of the stall doors, you pushed past them and turned the lock behind the two of you. Shawn leaned back against the door, "Turn around" You laughed against his lips. Without breaking contact, you undid his belt and the button of his jeans, sliding down the zipped as you kissed him one more time. In need of a little more build-up, you grabbed his sides and pushed yourself against him, applying pressure just where you knew he needed the most. "I kinda want something else" As you knelt and pulled his jeans down, you saw him shake his head, "You'll kill me" A bit too excited about what was to come, you palmed him through his underwear and pushed yourself up a bit, allowing your teeth to sink into his sides, his abdomen muscles forcing the air to dash through his lungs dangerously fast. "Relax" you cooed, standing up once again. This time, you stuck your hand inside his underwear as you kissed him, and despite whimpering, Shawn grabbed your waist, holding you in place. Your tongues worked against each other as you wrapped your fingers around his base, gripping the elastic band of his underwear with your free hand and pulled it down. This time you lowered yourself for good, settling on your knees in front of him. The looks Shawn was giving you made it all so much better; in the dark stall the light was mostly nonexistent, the shadows accentuation his cheekbones and jaw line as he had his head slightly dipped forward. You took your time exactly like you were used to, trailing your fingers up his thighs waiting for any kind of sign - a go ahead signal, before giving him what he surely craved the most. A slight twitch was enough and when a breathy moan followed, you licked your lips and stuck your tongue out to meet his tip. After working experienced flicks against his cock, you raised your stare trying to keep the eye contact as you took him in your mouth. He slid inside until his end reached the back of your throat which required more concentration, causing you to lower your gaze and close your eyes as you pressed your palms into his thighs. Pulling back slowly, you started to bob your head, going back and forth, sucking him with an eager determination which would soon be also visible on his legs, as with every passing second, your nails dug deeper and deeper into his skin. Shawn kept quiet, he was good, too good, you wanted him over the edge, you wanted him panting and moaning your name. He was taller, stronger than you, more composed and you wanted him a mess - that frown you've seen earlier, you wanted that again, to see him bite his lips and throw his head to back as his eyes fluttered closed no matter how hard he tried to contain himself. Before you got a chance to do anything, from behind him you heard a door open and slam closed, followed by a pair of determined heels clicking against the marble floor. You fisted a good amount of his shirt into your right hand and pushed down the lid so you could pull back and sit on your knees on the toilet. 'So not what you hand in mind'. You could see the regret in his eyes, but he was smiling, a crooked - What the fuck are you making me do - kind of grin and somehow, you figured you should make the best of the situation. You placed your pointed finger in front of your lips trying to hear whatever that person was doing and you almost burst into laughter when you heard them enter the stall next to you. As uncomfortable as it was, you bent down and took him again into your mouth with absolutely zero warning, and the moment your fingers brushed against his balls, Shawn's hand flew up to grab something. Unfortunate choice, as his fingers reached past the top, poking onto the other side of the wall that separated the stalls. "Hello?" you heard a masculine voice call and it took everything in you, but thanks to your teasing nature, you went on, sucking from between hallowed cheeks, leaving Shawn to deal with the consequences. "Sor-" he whimpered until his voice broke. He cleared his throat and threw his head back in desperation as you wouldn't give him a break, "Sorry" The more you took him down your throat and the more you pushed his buttons the harder it got to keep yourself silent. The morning against his cock were repressible, but you'd worked him up - precum and spit got everywhere and that was not in your power to control. Pulling away hurriedly, you took him in your palm and pumped along his cock hurriedly as you shuffled on your knees and pressed your lips to his base, ready to go lower. The movement of your hand slowed down as you shifted your concentration to the actions of your tongue, your fingers eventually stopping at his tip, your thumb rubbing over and along his slit. You heard a loud slap, and looking up curious, you saw Shawn's hand cover half his face. He looked down at you from between his fingers and his eyes begged. For something. He was lost. Forget the cheeks, his face was red and his sweat coated curls were now sticking to his forehead as he struggled to keep his eyes open and his breathing regulated. "'S good" you mouthed before taking his balls into your mouth again, unconsciously moaning, and moaning loudly. "Listen dude!" that same person from before yelled before slamming his fist against the thin wall, "I can't shit if someone jacking off right next to me!" You knew Shawn wasn't listening. His eyes showed the fact that was on another plane of existence right now, who knows what was going on through his head. At this point he wasn't even trying to keep quiet anymore, panting uncontrollably, whining out loud the things you put him through. Shawn grabbed the sides of your head, pulling your back with shaky hands, "I'm not gonna last much longer" "Good" you whispered, shaking your head, "Been waiting since last night" "Holy shit" he sighed, and you wrapped your lips around his tip again, letting his cock slide in your mouth, not caring about any kind of technique or precision anymore, he was done. You sucked hard and fast, until he reached his finish line, thrashed it, passed it, went over the edge and moaned it all out. He shook in your hold as his cum filled your mouth and you swallowed proudly until you had to pull away and end by pumping him in your hand. Jerky breaths followed as a few more drops slipped him his cock and onto your tongue and your palm did a few more laps along his length. "Don't ever make me have to keep quiet again" he threatened shaking, gathering his hair into his hand. "Nah" you shrugged, "I should've done better" Shawn shook his head as he let his weight slide from one wall to the other, allowing you to leave the stall. As you opened the door with absolutely no care in the world, your eyes first landed on the mirror which reflected the figure of the man that had supposedly been in the other stall. "Holy fuck-" you choked, backing away instantly. Your back collided against Shawn who was getting ready to clean himself up and follow you outside. "What?" he asked out loud. "That's the principal" you whispered enraged, slapping his side. "And what do you want me to do?" Shawn laughed, one hand on his dick, one crumbling toilet paper. "I thought he left" you mouthed barely audible as you stomped your foot against the floor. Shawn smiled, turning away and brushing his nose against your cheek trying to get you to turn your head towards him so he reach your lips, but you pulled away frowning. "What?" he looked at you confused. "I can't kiss you, I just sucked your dick, let me rinse my-" With a scoff, Shawn rolled his eyes and grabbed your chin. His lips slammed into yours with passion, his tongue making its way into your mouth instantly. You struggled to follow his lead for as long as you could but since you he took your by surprise, you were soon left without air and had to pull back. "No matter where you put that mouth, I'll still wanna kiss you" As you giggled, you heard the man walk past your door, "You kids have absolutely no manners" he yelled and then left the room. "Oh yeah, this is the teachers bathroom, I forgot to mention" "I figured" Shawn mumbled, buttoning his panties and following you outside. "What's next on the college experience thing?" He asked eagerly. "You're gonna take me home" you laughed. "What? What about you?" "Next time" you shrugged. "If you think what you're doing is noble, you're wrong, you're depriving me of pussy" "What the-" you jumped hearing him saw that out loud on the hallway. "Oh don't try to tell me you think that was obscene..." "It was very obscene" you laughed, shaking your head exaggerating your point. "We'll see" Shawn teased. The conversation continued in the same manner until he dropped you off at the coffee shop so you could take your own car that you left there the night before. As much as you hated that he wasn't coming to work that night, as excited you were about the fact that he had another performance scheduled for the day after, and until then, you just had to find a way to hide just how needy he left you.

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes x reader

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chipswithfanfics · 6 years

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❝ What are you doing? ❞ Jungwoo

Genre: bittersweet angst, some fluffy, college!au, bestfriends to enemies to... Pairing: Jungwoo x Reader Summary: "What are you doing?" You ask, eyes filled with tears, stuffy nose, voice shaking at the sight of Jungwoo's face. His hand is so firm in your arm, and his expression is so cold that you shrink, feeling the fear, afraid that what is already so painful can become even more... "What I should have done a long time ago" he whispers. Word count: 3,7k

Request: “Omg! Your jisung angst was everything! I saw that requests are still open, so I was hoping I could request a jungwoo angst. Have a good day:’)💓” by @anon

A/N: well, I confess it was very difficult to write this, sorry if this aren't well the way you imagined, I hope you enjoy! <3 <3 <3

You met Jungwoo on a day that everything seemed to go wrong...

Your life has always been like this anyway, it always seemed to not get any worse. But it always ended up getting worse...

The very first day at your university you got lost, literally, which resulted in you running from one place to another simply because your first class was about to begin.

Asking for help from the lady you found along the way didn't help much. Actually, it just got you three full laps down the same block, looking for a room that didn't even exist.

Your college life didn't start in the best of ways. When you reached a seemingly deserted corridor you sighed, leaning against the wall, letting the body slide, simply defeated, desolate and almost crying all your tears out.

"Uhm..." But the sweet voice came to you, making you jump off the floor as you noticed the boy at the drinking fountain, casting his eyes and smiling at you. "Need some help?"

That's how the boy from the water cooler helped you find your classroom, which happened to be the same as his. In fact, it was only when he called you to sit in the place next to his that you actually met Kim Jungwoo...

Well, let me tell you something: most of the girls in your room started to get a bit of envy...

That's because, somehow, Jungwoo is always around you.

Be it to give a helping hand in the housework that the teacher has passed, even though it's expressly said that it isn't in duo.

Whether it be to help you buy the snack of the day; and always making you opt for healthier options.

Or even, simply to keep your place safe in the class, right next to him.

It started little by little, but it ended up becoming like this over the course of days. Jungwoo is always around, to the point that, you have become synonymous with Jungwoo, and Jungwoo has become synonymous with you.

And, know the days when you're sleeping too much and the alarm clock will not wake you so soon? Do you have a Jungwoo to knock on your bedroom door — how does he get into the girls' dormitory? That's a secret.

Know that times that you forget the notes, the pencils and even the snack money? Or when your own room is too messy? You have a Jungwoo for that too.

"I know how to take care of myself, Jungwoo!" And you even try to defend yourself from looking so useless and at the same time so irresponsible.

"Yes, yes, Y/n, you know how to take good care of yourself..." And he responds in a voice so sweet, so soft that it's impossible for you to stress yourself. "I'm just making sure you're going to stay alive and... entire."

And, know the times when you just need someone quiet, sitting on the tiny sofa in your room, just to listen to all your outbursts about the day? Or, of those rainy days that your will is only to stick the face and the whole body underneath a duvet and never leave? Putting your pink teddy bear socks, eating popcorn and putting on a good cartoon? You have a Jungwoo for that too. To make popcorn, to curl you in your favorite duvet and of course...

"I think your fever is coming down" he says whispering as he runs his hand over your forehead.

Taking care of you while you're sick, because no, you don't know how to take care of yourself, much less stay alive on your own.

Jungwoo is your best friend. Your walking lifeguard. The apparent solution to most of your problems. In fact, Jungwoo is more than all of this...

And you realize on one of those days that you slept so badly that you did not hear the knocking on the door, because you fell sick for the second time in the month, and it was raining hard when he decided it would be nice to bring you some old Jack Chan movies, bring along some sugar-free candy, and stay to take care of you.

So you're sitting on the floor, completely wrapped in duvets, Jungwoo is right on your side, the candy is thrown all over the place, and you do your best to keep breathing because your best friend squeezes you both in a hug, but so much, that you are sure that you will not die of fever, but suffocated...

Jungwoo loves hugs, loves so much, that for you it is no surprise that he is always hugging you.

And, well, this kid has the best hugs in the world. That's why you never complained. Because it's warm, and especially, you feel that nothing in the world can hurt you from within. It's like being held by a bear.

And, this is how you get this nickname for your best friend: Giant-teddy-bear

"Okay," and one morning your friend, a classmate with the room right next to you, frowned, "when will you two assume the whole dating thing?"

The question shocked you, trully, you choke with your morning snack that hadn't even begun.

It began in a way far from normal.

"What you mean? We're just friends." You said, deep down, deep down, so deep you didn't even realize it: wishing your own words weren't true.

"Ow..." Your friend raised her eyebrows, drinking from her straw, "so... poor Jungwoo is in a one-sided love?"

The world could explode in your head, at the same time, because it was almost happened

Your own world exploded ... You denied it, told your friend she was exaggerating. But inside, something in you has changed. You came to see Jungwoo differently.

Or rather, you finally noticed why Jungwoo's hugs were always so welcoming You're in love with your best friend.

So you look for the smallest details, that he feels the same, because it's what you most want: Jungwoo also feels the same warmth for you.

You want to believe that your friend was not exaggerating, so you keep searching for any deep meaning in the hugs that come out of nowhere, something deep in the eyes when he throws one of those sweet, lost looks with a smile tied to his lips.

But whatever you find is nothing...

It's what drives you to this particular day, in which you have been called to a small celebration in a bar not far away.

You accepted without hesitation for more than two seconds.

You drank, you drank too much...

And ignored Jungwoo's calls also.

What happens is that if you don't answer to his calls, he'll find a way to appear — spontaneous generation, you can swear — at the bar, pulling you back to your room.

How did you get there so fast, almost tripping over your room and wiping your face from the rain? You don't know.

"I was worried." But you are sure of what you hear from Jungwoo, but you don't turn to look at him.

"I don't need you to worry about me." You counter, still on your back, running the sleeves of your blouse up against your face, in vain trying to wipe it off with what was already soaked.

You hear a heavy sigh coming from behind. You hear his footsteps, and you can see from the reflection of your bedroom mirror that he bends down, picking up the pile of clothes tossed in the corner, where you almost stumbled.

Your chest burns.

"Why are you doing this?" Asking, you turn around.

Jungwoo stop right there, with your clothes in his hand, his eyebrows raised:

"This what?" He stammered, clearly lost.

How long will he pretend to be misunderstood? Alcohol seems to mess with your head...

"This, Jungwoo!" And you point, directly at him, directly to the bundle of clothes still in his hands, "why do you always have to take care of me?"

He stares at you, his eyes slightly widening, and his lips parting.

"That's what friends do" he replies softly, sort of wanting to laugh, because he knows a lot of that uprising is because of the shots you took.

But only a large part, the other part is what leads you to go on...

"Friends?" You babble.

And Jungwoo couldn't be more confused by putting your clothes on the table, watching you withdraw.

"How long do you plan to take this forward?" You whisper, the words slide out of your mouth, unknowingly, are already there, coming through Jungwoo's ears.

"I don't understand, Y/n." But Jungwoo's eyes remain the same as you feel yourself burning inside.

"How much are you still planning to take advantage of me?"

But not for long, Jungwoo's bright eyes widen, and the silence comes too fast. His mouth opens and closes as fast as you feel the world turning.

"Y/n, I don't think I heard right." He whispers, his expression sinks into shadow, there is no more sparkle in his eyes, let alone a playful smile on his lips; and Jungwoo had always been that happy, airy guy, but good...

Things were about to change now.

"You don't have to pretend to be my friend just to fuck-"

"Be honest with me..." He interrupts you. "Do you think I'm that kind of guy? Just to fuck with you..."

You freeze. Jungwoo's eyes are cold, angry, it's the first time you sees him like this; well away from what might be considered your teddy-bear.

"No, well, I... I heard that..."

Jungwoo takes a step back.

"You don't have to hide that you have a crush on me, Jungwoo" the alcohol only makes you stumble in the words, with a silly giggle, deep down, nothing but despair.

Because sobriety hits you too late, just in time to see a straight smile on the lips of who you call best friend...

"Sorry, Y/n" the door then opens, you hear the metallic click, "But I don't like you..." "Not in the way that you think..." "Sorry."

And you can see the seriousness on Jungwoo's face by saying this, by saying the words that cut your heart right in the middle.

You feel like a complete idiot.

"Jungwoo, this is a mis-" You want to mend, you want to mend before...

The door closes.

Before the silence is done, suddenly, without any warning; just as Jungwoo walks out the door without saying anything, with his eyes coldly serious.

The truth is, it took exactly eleven minutes, in the silence that lingered after the door was closed for you to finally understand what had happened, so, you finally understood how much you had spoiled everything.

The truth is that outside, Jungwoo listened to you crying, with his back pressed against the door of your room, in silence: the heart became pure chaos that day, and in the night also, when a single tear fell down the face.

The next day there is no book, sweatshirt or backpack guarding your seat. And when you approach, with your eyes swollen from so much crying last night, you take a deep breath...

"Good morning," you say to Jungwoo.

He looks at you for seconds before turning his face, continuing to talk to his next colleague...

And right there, you want to cry.

Because from this day on, you go to sit on the other side of the classroom.

Just as if you forget the snack money, it's your friend who lends you; and there's no one to force you to buy the wheat cereal bars instead of the chocolate bars.

The knocking on the door on the days you're late is gone too.

Just as the days of laziness with duvets, popcorn, candy, movies and teddy-bears are replaced by solitary days, with boring movies, no food, and the purest cold.

The bear hugs is what you miss the most. Beside the soft whispers.

And you still try, in any way possible, to approach Jungwoo, say at least one word, anything to give you the sign that he still knows of your existence.

It's an attempt to remain still on the edge of the cliff because you're afraid to find out what will happen when you finally fall.

So that it's at interval, in front of the ice cream shop, that you make the decision to get up from your chair, forgetting your ice cream, to go talk to Jungwoo...

In fact, to call him to look in your face and cease to act like a complete spoiled child: "If you keep ignoring me I swear I'm going to stick my hand in your face, what about?" You already have all the rehearsed talk, when...

You can not move on, your feet stop right in the middle of the road

because what your eyes find is too much for your whole body to process, it's too much even for your heart to endure...

and it comes down to Jungwoo sitting with no one else but the girl in your class, the special girl you both hate, the girl who always has the best nasty comments on the tip of her tongue and always for you

And you're sure, Jungwoo heard everything he had to hear from this girl, right out of your mouth.

Even so, there he is, all smiles, sitting with her, with her disgusting friends, while you're right there, alone, without him and, crying every night...

You feel like a monster.

Losing a friend.

And, losing who you love too.

"It's not your fault, Y/n," and no matter how many times you listen, you know very well that at least one tip is your fault, "Jungwoo is being an asshole."

And, yes, that's true also.

The rumors don't delay much until reach your ears, in fact, the rumors are crowding all the corners of the university, it's simply natural that one day came to you that;

Jungwoo is dating.

Just the girl you hate.

You reach your limit when you see a photo in your feed. Jungwoo looks happy, smiling, with a blonde girl on the side, some drinks appearing on the table, the party looks lively...

This isn't the Jungwoo you thought you knew.

[What's happening with you?]

It's what you type, for the contact you should have deleted yourself; but didn't delete, and still has the old nickname saved.

You don't expect him to see, let alone respond... [What do you want?] But that's what happens... [We need to talk.] [Now?] [Jungwoo... I know it was stupid, idiot, and... I shouldn't have made those assumptions about our friendship, I'm sorry.] [Ah, is that all about it?]

Your eyes are filled with tears, when the screen of the cell phone shakes, your fingers are shaking... [Forget that. Be happy… I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with loving your best friend because that isn't controlled. And I loved you so much.] [Y/n, wait...]

This is how you finally delete the contact named "Jungwoo <3 giant teddy bear". In silence and in tears.

The next day you're not going to class. Not even the other day. and the other... until a week has passed, and not even to the dormitory you are coming back more, you managed to rent an apartment, because staying away from everything seems like the best option.

Until this day... "Come on, you're going to have fun..." said your friend and, well, when you realized you were already in this bar-half-pizzeria.

The idea was to celebrate your birthday, to eat a lot, to drink a lot; have fun until you faint or someone faints, literally. And you thought that; Well, I deserve to have fun after all this shit... forget him and... You thought, it would be all right some time, that someday that wound would stop bleeding and it would be all right when you saw Jungwoo again.

It was all but "good" that your heart reacted when you saw him, exactly five tables ahead.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," you heard, coming softly from your friend's lips as Jungwoo's eyes slid directly to you...

"I need to go to the bathroom." You stood up at once, feeling everything burn inside you, the face, the throat and especially the heart.

This was cruel, the lowest cruelty.

And on the way to the bathroom, you didn't see the girl coming your way.

"Hey!" The bump was huge, making you notice who the voice was, acute and exasperated; none other than the blonde from your class. "Look where you're going!"

Great, the whole troupe is here: you think to yourself, with a grunt.

"Sorry, Tiffany, I'm in a hurry..." you say this, trying to escape as quickly as possible.

"Oh, what's the rush?" she tried to raise her voice, holding you still in place, a sigh escaping from your lips that could be everything, but mostly: a great desire to pound her face.

"Why don't we sit down and have a little girl talk? Away from those idiot friends?"

"Ah, Tiffany, if you can get past four shots without giving a stripper show, maybe we can talk." You say, popping your tongue when you turn to the blonde, who already has a red face that would be rage.

"What did you say, bitch?" Yes, it sure is red with anger.

"That's what you heard, and if you'll excuse me... I do not have the balls to put up with you today," you says, turning around again.

The blonde girl snaps her tongue.

"I really don't understand what Jungwoo sees in you."

And what happened in your head is: Am I missing something? You sure are...

Because Tiffany manages to spend a full drink, right in your face, and entitled to an evil giggle in the end.

And you're about to show this chicken how to fight for real, you're about to pluck her when...

"What's going on here?" Jungwoo says.

His eyes are on you, and then they turn to Tiffany.

"Jungwoo, dear, she jumped on me and-"

That's all you don't want to see tonight; things are already so bad, and you don't want to make them worse, so that's what you do...

You escape, thrusting into the crowd around the show.

It isn't long before you find the back door of the place, just as the tears don't linger until meet your eyelids.

You cry for the twentieth time, and you even think about quitting, because the promise that it will be the last time never seems to work.

"Y/n" the voice is soft, and whispered. You didn't hear his footsteps approaching, just as you didn't notice that he had followed you here, in the middle of a dark street, where the illumination was scarce.

But even in the dim light, you can easily distinguish the features of Jungwoo's face, his brow furrowed, his jaw tense.

"Wait" he shakes, when you turn away, determined to ignore him; as a form of revenge for being ignored so long, so coldly. "Y/n!"

"Leave me alone!" You scream, the crying in your throat; You sound like a walking baby.

"Please, I need to talk to you." And he insists, following in his hurried footsteps.

"I've always wanted to talk to you, Jungwoo!" You rub your nose, sniffing. "But whoever ignored me was always you."

"Sorry."

"Leave me alone!" You scream again. "Why don't you go back to your sweetheart?"

And your footsteps continue to echo in the night inu rush, hoping to leave it behind...

But your body is held in place, your left foot is in the air, returning to the ground. Jungwoo's hand is strong, even if everything in him seems so soft, delicate and gentle; the hand is strong and firm, and holds you in place.

"What are you doing?" You ask, eyes filled with tears, stuffy nose, voice shaking at the sight of Jungwoo's face.

His hand is so firm in your arm, and his expression is so cold that you shrink, feeling the fear, afraid that what is already so painful can become even more...

"What I should have done a long time ago" he whispers.

And you? You really didn't ask to suffer so much.

Jungwoo pulls you, the other hand held in your face, and in a half-deserted street at midnight; Jungwoo kisses you, as simple as that, sticking his lips against yours, like a jigsaw puzzle that has been postponed to its limit.

"I'm sorry, Y/n," he says, when he separates the kiss, the expression of pain, the voice has the same tone; fragile, almost like a baby about to cry, "I thought you were joking with me and… you sounded so cruel."

"I love you," you whisper, dictating, letter by letter, because it feels so warm again, it's so good to see your Jungwoo; this one you know so well, not the Jungwoo of the last weeks...

He smiles, his eyes shine.

"I love you too," and he says, before a second kiss, smiling, as fussy as you, as sweet as ever should be "I've been in love with you since day one, and I just wanted you to realize it soon..."

Jungwoo tightens you into a hug, tight, tight, warm and cozy:

There's your teddy bear.

Fixing a few slaps on Jungwoo's shoulder, you get rid of the grip, but only temporarily.

"Never again try to confess while you're drunk ..." He says, putting a palm to every apple of his face, and the seriousness that takes Jungwoo's face is at a minimum; comical "I thought you were playing with my feelings, when you said those things."

"Your feelings?" You babble.

"I thought I was making it clear. Since always..."

And this is what happens, "To know what? From what?" "Don't make me repeat." "But I don't know, I swear..." He holds you tight, strong enough to make some more tears escape your face: "I love you too, giant-teddy-bear."

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