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ash-says · 29 days

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Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:

We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.

So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.

Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.

1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.

2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.

3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.

4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.

5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.

6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.

No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.

7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.

8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.

9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.

10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.

Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

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esamastation · 6 months

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Part forty-one of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty

"... So there's Natural Materia that grows and evolves and eventually spawns an offspring of exactly identical Materia that can then make the exact same journey - and then there's Artificial Materia that… doesn't?"

"You're really asking the wrong person - Genesis is the expert," Angeal sighs, rubbing at his forehead. "But yeah, that's basically it? Artificial Materia can still level up a bit, but it doesn't evolve or make a copy of itself."

Sephiroth nods, fascinated. "So Natural Materia basically does mitosis?"

"I… don't know what that is?" Angeal says, sounding lost.

They're walking through the forest, in between random encounters - following a wide old footpath towards the charcoal burner's house. The path has the signs of wheeled traffic where the dirt has really been compacted, but it was a while ago, and grasses have started taking real estate on the path. Still, it makes for easier walking than the wild, untamed forest.

"It's when something - a cell - splits into two identical copies," Sephiroth explains.

"Ah, then no, that's not exactly it - the offspring Materia is unleveled and undeveloped. It has to be matured anew," Angeal clarifies.

"Still. Eventually the offspring Materia becomes identical to the parent. It's asexual reproduction, at least," Sephiroth muses, fascinated by how organic it all sounds. Like Materia is actually a breed of organism doing what all living things do - eat and reproduce. And artificial versions are basically infertile! "I bet Artificial Materia still needs to be somehow seeded by the natural sort."

Angeal shrugs, helpless. "You'd really have better luck asking Genesis. Maybe you should send him a message, asking about it."

"Maybe I will," Sephiroth says, determined, and then looks up. "Heads up - bugs."

One random encounter later, they're back to walking.

"You know, you could actually just try using your Materia," Angeal comments. "Might give you some insight on how it works. Or do you not remember how?"

Sephiroth waves a hand. "You just push energy through the thing, it's not that hard."

"Then why not do it?"

Because MP is Qi, kinda, and using Materia basically burns it away. Or, well, transforms it. Part of it goes into the Materia being used, aiding its maturation, and the rest of it is transformed into whatever spell the Materia is for. It's very easy to use and very powerful and incredibly energy inefficient. And since Sephiroth still isn't sure whether he wants to take in ambient energy in the way of the locals, he isn't sure his MP actually replenishes? And sure, he could take an Ether, a potion that replenishes MP - but that's basically like drinking raw Qi, and the very idea is a bit alarming.

There's just a scary level of energy transference going on in this place, and his core is unstable enough!

Also Sephiroth would rather figure out how to consume the Materia itself, like you'd consume spirit stones - except he really doesn't need any extra Qi at this point.

"Maybe later," Sephiroth says and looks ahead for a distraction. "Oh, hey, is that the house?"

Angeal gives him a look, amused, but lets it go and looks ahead too.

The charcoal burner's house is built near to the side of a mountain wall, with three enormous charcoal kilns half carved into the stone of the mountain. The house is more of a homestead, with a large area cleared and fenced, with the house itself in the middle, a couple of storage huts, a stall, and a big shelter for wood.

It's a bit rundown, though. One of the storage houses has its rooftop caved in, and there's long grass growing everywhere. The charcoal kilns look not just cold, but like something had been nesting in one of them.

"That's strange," Angeal murmurs warily, looking around. "It… doesn't look like anyone's been living here for a good long while."

"Hmm," Sephiroth hums, crouching down to examine a footprint in the dirt. It's fresh. "Someone has been here very recently, though." Someone in modern footwear - with treaded soles. Not that he knows what kind of footwear the people of Wutai favour, but, still…

Angeal looks at the footprint and hums. "Be on your guard. There's something weird going on in here."

Cautious, they examine the place and find no signs of any monster attacks. What they do find is more footprints, all by the same set of shoes, going strong in the place and by all appearances checking out the buildings.

"Looking for something, maybe?" Angeal murmurs as they consider the footprints.

"Hmm. I don't see any signs of monsters," Sephiroth comments. "Didn't the mission files say the place was already attacked? Maybe we're in the wrong place."

"Maybe…"

While Angeal checks their mission files and coordinates to confirm they're actually in the right house, Sephiroth tries to figure out why it was abandoned in the first place. It wasn't sudden, that he can tell - whoever lived here had the time to pack up. Everything that's left was put away very neatly, too.

"Well, this is the right place," Angeal says, following him inside. "Either they got the coordinates wrong - or the intelligence."

"I guess it could be a trap," Sephiroth muses, poking around the charcoal burner's old office in search of any paperwork. "If this is really where an informant once lived, maybe that informant turned into a double agent and set a trap."

"You really think so?" Angeal asks, sounding more interested than alarmed.

"Not really," Sephiroth shrugs and picks up a crumpled piece of paper, someone's attempt at a letter that had gotten ruined by an ink smear. Gently he spreads it out on the office table to read. "Or else it's a terrible trap…"

The letter is addressed to someone's uncle, informing them of the charcoal burner's good fortune. Apparently their family had been invited by the emperor to live and work in the capital. Lucky guy.

"Maybe we should prepare for an ambush, just in case," Angeal comments thoughtfully, adjusting his gloves. "What do you think?"

"I think they would've revealed themselves already, if it was the case," Sephiroth says. "And this is a terrible place for an ambush anyway. It's far too open."

"Well, good thing it's not an ambush!" a voice calls from the outside before Angeal can answer.

"... Sounds like something an ambusher would say," Angeal mutters, clearly recognizing the voice, and Sephiroth chuckles.

Reno waits for them outside, lazily scratching at a bug bite on his arm. "Congratulations, you have been summarily recruited for a secret Turk mission," he says and motions around them. "Your station."

"Turk mission?" Angeal repeats. "It was you who sent out that mission file?"

"Yep," Reno agrees, shrugging unrepentantly.

Sephiroth watches him warily. He'd not interacted with Reno or Rude much, Angeal had kinda covered for him there. He'd not entirely sure why the Turks followed them to Wutai. Maybe this is it.

Maybe this is as far as he gets, before having to commit, one way or the other.

Sephiroth braces himself. "What's the mission?"

Reno grins and points a finger at him. "Your mission, starting right now, is to stay here," he says, "And get your shit together."

Man I've missed ff7 world so much. The whole magic system from Lifestream to Materia to summoning world ending Meteors from the sky is just 😗👌

I'm playing og ff7 while writing and none of the sequelsprequelsremakes come even close to comparing with how delicious Materia in the original game is.

#Fanfiction #Ff7 #ffvii #svsss #sephiroth #shen qingqiu #angeal hewley #reno of the turks #shen yuan

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anonzentimes · 24 days

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I've read fanfic where Nagito is jealous because he feels that Hajime thinks (remembers) about Chiaki at various times, but the idea that Nagito might feel guilty is new to me.

But it is true that Nagito might feel lonely or inferior, thinking that Hajime's awakening as Ultimate Hope was thanks to Chiaki and not to him. In my opinion, Hajime is likely to be depressed and mentally unstable even after 3, but Nagito might be afraid to see Hajime like that and speak harsh words to Hajime. Then he would think that if Chiaki were here, she would speak kind words to Hajime and regret that he himself couldn't do the same later.

However, in my personal opinion, what Hajime needs in the post-3 world is someone like Nagito rather than Chiaki, because Hajime has too much 'can do' due to the power of Kamukura's talent.

Chiaki has the mindset that if you do it, you can do it, but post-3 Hajime can do too many things, it will cause him to worry about where to start, and he will become impatient and overwhelmed by the need to use his talents.

Nagito has a very pessimistic view of things and (unless the other person is very talented) has no expectations of the people around him. And he might also have pessimistic opinions about Hajime, for example that he is basically an ordinary man, even though he has the power of Kamukura. But without people around him who think like that, Hajime would think that he can do anything he sets his mind to and try too hard at everything, which would probably lead to his self-destruction. So I hope that at some point Hajime will realise that he can control himself thanks to Nagito being there for him, and that by telling Nagito this, Nagito can gain a little confidence that he can support Hajime from a different perspective to Chiaki's.

Hmm, I may have somewhat forced the story into my interpretation 🤔 Well, at least I don't think Hajime would ever actually wish Chiaki had been here instead of Nagito, and he would rather strongly feel that he doesn't want to lose Nagito as well, even though losing Chiaki was sad enough. I hope that Hajime's feelings will be conveyed to Nagito at some point (for example, when Nagito is dying and Hajime is very desperate to help him) and that he will want to do something for Hajime instead of feeling guilty.

oh my word you turned on the stove and COOKED!!!!!!! This is definitely the kind of thing I was talking about!! :)

To be honest I think it'd be really sweet one way it could be resolved is that Hajime has to say that he loves Nagito and that he wouldn't replace him ever. Sure, he misses Chiaki and loved her but his love is with Nagito and he's so happy even if Nagito's beliefs and mindset are troubling to understand or bad for Nagito.

Like Hajime would have to be like, "Hey, I loved Chiaki, yes, but I love you and I wouldn't replace you for anything. You aren't taking her place" just like try to get it through Nagito's head lol. And maybe Hajime would believe that regardless in some way him and Nagito would fall in love and be happy if nothing Despair ever happened.

They definitely both don't want to lose each other, Hajime having already lost Chiaki, and Nagito having barely any reciprocal relationships besides Hajime and everyone dying around him due to his luck gives a lot of "I don't want it to happen again" for the both of them.

They're different people after Dr2 that experience and trauma of a killing game does a lot to you and at that point of growth, Hajime being him and Izuru, and Nagito having grown a bit more they are really perfect for each other imo.

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sawiet · 7 months

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draco malfoy and bpd

warning: contemplation on borderline personality disorder. if this topic triggers you or you'd rather not read reflections from a non-therapist/non-psychiatrist, it's best to skip this.

since i no longer attempt to conceal the fact that for years i've projected my mental disorders onto beloved characters... what do you think about the idea that draco malfoy may have borderline personality disorder?

from the books, we know little about the dynamics within the malfoy family, but in the films, lucius was portrayed as quite an aggressive and strict father. this already gives me some basis to speculate that due to his narcissistic father, draco might be at risk.

(please don't take this post too seriously. i'm not an expert, i lack reliable data, so all of this is just my headcanons, theories, assumptions, fabrications... anything not claiming one hundred percent canon.)

usually, children with bpd have rather unstable relationships with their parents. one moment they love and adore you, and the next, you become the worst child in the world for them. you constantly have to be on guard and gauge the adults' moods to know how to fit in. we have lucius (evidently, an authoritative figure in draco's life) with impulsive behavior. he loves his son (during the battle of hogwarts, he was genuinely willing to risk his life to save draco), showers him with expensive gifts, indulges his whims (like securing a spot on the quidditch team), but at any moment, he can also harshly reprimand or publicly humiliate him.

years of such emotional/physical abuse can lead to the following reactions:

1) aggressive behavior leading to relationship problems (draco does indeed have anger issues; he often displays unjustified cruelty towards classmates; he has a sense of invincibility and impunity).

2) unstable emotional background and inadequate self-perception (this is my favorite! draco struggles with self-identification, he lacks his own opinion. he grew up in an environment of hatred towards muggle-born wizards, so everything he knew, said, and thought was instilled by his father).

3) high anxiety (the half-blood prince and the deathly hallows are direct proof. while most of his slytherin peers were resolutely against potter and never doubted the righteousness of their actions, draco tormented himself with thoughts and doubts. he teetered on the edge between psychopathy and stability. in one moment, he spoke of how much he wanted to leave hogwarts, how much he hated muggle-borns, but in the next, he suffered a panic attack, was unhealthy, couldn't continue living as if everything was fine).

4) total fear of solitude and a perpetual sense of boredom/emptiness (oh, remember all those moments when draco was never alone for a second, when after every joke he looked at his friends seeking approval? or how draco pursued harry and the golden trio for years just because he was bored? we know very little about draco's interests. even his interest in quidditch always seemed imposed, as if he became a seeker only to challenge harry. and again, the half-blood prince... draco looked unhealthy, cried in the girls' bathroom, and slowly lost his mind from the burden of solitude. his only company is the ghost of the girl from the bathroom).

5) dichotomous thinking and volatile mood, dividing the world only into "black and white" (muggle-borns must be eradicated!.. but can i really kill a person? i hate potter so much!.. but would i betray him to the dark lord?).

also, it's important to add that individuals with borderline personality disorder (bpd) experience frequent and sharp shifts in emotions. from adoration to complete devaluation, mere seconds can bridge the gap. in the first book, when harry rejected draco's offer of friendship, draco immediately eradicated any trace of friendliness or goodwill towards harry. it never even occurred to him to alter his behavior or extend an apology. if someone dared to offend him, that person was promptly expelled from his life. take, for instance, the case of severus snape. the moment lucius malfoy was incarcerated in azkaban, draco ceased to harbor affection for his teacher, gripped by a surge of jealousy. he concluded that snape was endeavoring to assume his father's role and become the new favorite of the dark lord, despite there being no grounds for such an assumption.

so yes, this is all i wanted to say. you may completely disagree with me, and that's okay. in any case, i just needed a reason to write down my thoughts somewhere.

peace and love to all!

#harry potter #draco malfoy #my stuff #bpd #borderline personality disorder

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ctheathy · 1 year

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PLSSS YOU WRITE FOR VOCALOID??? FOR FUKASE????

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME GENERAL YAN HCS FOR MY BOY FUKASE 😩😩😩💕💕💕

....ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɪᴍ ᴡɪʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀ sᴍᴀʟʟ ᴄʀᴜᴍʙs ᴏғ ʜɪᴍ..

Yandere Fukase Headcanons

Fukase x Reader

Yandere Headcanons

Author’s Note : Hihii Nonnie-!! You’re at the right place for Fukase content, love our unstable lil memelord here. Definitely going to be making some more content of him in future occurrences ahah

Fukase is really just grossly obsessed with an idea instead of the real you to be honest. It’s a more realistic view on one obsessing over another, and I personally really enjoy this concept for yandere aus of a character. Stay safe yall, it’s important your mind remains in reality.

Potential ⚠️TWs⚠️ :

Gender-neutral darling • Stalking • Murder • Abuse of power • Anger issues • Jealousy • Extremely delusional mindset • General toxicity • Guilt tripping • Obsessive behaviour

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There’s a few ways how this could go; quite literally being seen as a celebrity under vocaloid circumstances, I cannot see him as extremely impressed by doting courses. He’s loved all over the world by the many, many fans of his and he knows this. Although undoubtedly being appreciative torwards it, in a way he desires his own personal space and rest for once in a while. So if anything, I believe a darling who treats him as a neutral being instead of the usual idolising would rather be what catches his attention; his features forming into a look of genuine shock after lacking the enthusiasm he’s used to, his surprise being rather indescribable, yet he feels intrigued right at the same time. If anything, he’s the one off for showing his unusual excitement and interest torwards you; likely being closer to desiring an impartial conversation with another that’s not all about himself. This actually felt... favourable to him.

He’d want to get to know you better, questions literally lingering left and right. It’s just been so long since he’s met a human being that can treat him right; basic manners having often been lacking when meeting the average fan. He’d get especially excited if you just so happen to share a similar interest in music. His entire creation has been surrounded by the idea of taking good use of those vocals of his, of course he could not help but get himself all hyped up over gathering that information!! He finds himself continuously going back to the things he’s heard from you, remembering the music you’ve mentioned by chord and getting far lost in his thoughts with that lovely voice of yours being repeated in his head, it having become the most gorgeous tune he’s ever heard.

At first it happened to be quite innocent. An example being how you’d easily find your ways into his head whenever he’d sing tracks with hints of romance connected to it, and becoming rather giddy as his imagination did the rest of the work for him. As so started his fantasies, which would end up being the literal root of screwing over not only his reflection, but his entire sanity aswell. It had started from occasionally seeing you in the particular musical numbers in a sense of comparison, to constantly being reminded of you among the whole singing process as a whole. He gets too deeply invested into these mere illusions his mind creates for his own self solance, almost corrupting him in a way. And it’s only then when he realises how much he’s been thinking about you; from daily, to every hour, to every minute, to the point of not being able to get you out of his racing mind at all.

Things only worsen from that point, much due to his sense of music having quite the dark side to it. Many of the songs he’s required for that are considered an entirely pure context also just so happen to be in the minimum, becoming the start of his mind taking quite the disturbing turn. Instead of the usual lovey dovey songs he’d view within the two of you, over time these get twisted into the songs with the most sickening meanings behind it. These songs of innocence, they...they do not do anything for him anymore. He’d slowly start acting upon the information of these music genres; looking up to them, even. Over time, all has become nothing but normalised in his head, the continuation of it definitely not having been pretty so far. Hateful notions torwards those around are starting to worsen to a severe extend, and unsanitary thoughts have been taking place in the back of his mind. Pictures of you are starting to find their ways on his walls and he’d briefly find his inappropriate mind going even further than that when the satisfaction runs out.

A massive stalker at heart, silently adoring and following you around from the distance as heavy breaths leave his lips. His heart continuously beating in an uncanny manner and feeling as if it’s going to burst out of his ribcage each and every single time; may that be due to the fact that he knows it’s wrong or because of way his mind fogs up whenever you just so happen to be nearby in the area. You’re quite close to being a drug to the redhead, and the more he tries to keep his hands off, the more desperate he comes crawling back right after, one occurrence being worse than the last.

As for when he’s required for a concert, singing requests or through other means, he becomes a whole lot more pouty and incredibly irritated by the solicitation knowing he has no saying in the matter. His patience likely dropping down to zero, not wanting to associate with any other of the vocaloids who had also been asked for their attendance and just wishing to hurry things up with to get back to you as quickly as possible. During these occurrences, I could totally see him making a demand to Point to keep his eye on you, and making very well sure you remain in eyesight atleast every five minutes in his absence.

When it comes to shedding blood; Fukase is nothing above of it. Due to how aggressive he can get in the rivalry dialogue, his murders are usually pretty brutal and messy to say the least. His main targets honestly ranging between friends, to family, to mere strangers you’ve only met on the streets once. Telling himself that the reasoning behind it all would be for you, despite it honesty becoming closer to being an obsession of his own rather than anything else. He’s not the kind that’s up for torturous desires though, the patience of his being far too short for his liking and being limited to almost nothing when others just so happen to be in the picture. The appearance of the said opponent alone would already be enough to push his frustration streaks on edge, over time becoming as unbearable as it is. He’d often be one to lure his victims in, using his approaching and friendly demeanor and seemingly innocent intentions in a way to guide the said person to their destiny, only leaving them to rot near the stage when the job is done. Yet on the other hand, they’re likely never truly planned to begin with. It’s almost as if he’s in a constant rampage, his instability and growing temper having caused in quite the anger issues in his system. These also cause him to become a rather unpredictable yandere over time, not only causing physical and sometimes even fatal damage torwards his rivals, but emotional harm torwards his darling.

Even if he does still manage to crawl his way into your heart, you rarely know what to do with the boy. It’s always the question whenever he’ll be close to reaching his limits again or not; he could easily be having the time of his life, suddenly snap at you, and then leave him to have a mental breakdown right infront of you for apology matters. Which is something he’ll stand to rather commonly as well; making himself out to be much more fragile and sensitive than he actually is. Though his supplications for forgiveness at a moment’s notice would be genuine ; he’d also be one to plead and beg for your full-time attention if he has to, crocodile tears spilling from his eye in an unsavoury attempt to win over your compassion one or another way. He needs your observation, and he’ll have no shame in doing whatever in order to get it.

His position as a vocaloid has caused in the unsteadyness in his mind and has made him become highly fragile torwards any riskier emotions he may experience from time to time. He takes advantage of his fame in order to get what he wants. People have begun to disappear around you and you’re likely starting to become paranoid by now, but there’s nothing anybody can even really do about it without violating their position with him being the loved and well-known vocaloid that everybody just so happens to adore. His high position always finding one or another way to get him out of trouble. Any suspicions are disintegrated into being that of a lie and any caught acts are merely justified. He knows you’re going the be the end of his entire career at some point, but he straight up cannot get himself to care for it anymore; not as long as you’re there with him, may that be through participation or force.

Even if this includes being solely lured in by a mere delusion he’s created out of you.

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#yandere vocaloid #yandere fukase #vocaloid fukase #vocaloid x reader #fukase x reader #yandere fukase x reader

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redysetdare · 11 months

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Monkie kid headcanons for fun

Red son headcanons:

Red son has bad memory and he only calls MK and Mei Noodle boy and dragon girl because he legit cannot remember their names to save his life.

Red son's glasses are shades, which aren't normal for prescription glasses which makes me think he actually uses them to control light intake due to his pupils not adjusting to light properly.

Red son has chronic pain but doesn't even realize it because He's lived with it for centuries so it's basically just the norm for him. His pain is mostly centered in his back and joints.

Red son has neurodivergent swag. Idk what kind but he sure as hell has it.

Red son doesn't like being touched. He probably has to be the one to initiate the touch to feel comfortable. (You could read this as him being touch starved but tbh i don't really read him one way or another :P)

Red son has the nonbinary swag. Source: trust me bro.

Red son can't cheat on anything. he legally is not allowed to cheat. this may or may not be related to the fact he feels the need to prove himself. Source: he tried to win the great wall race fair and square instead of just stealing the peach or cheating to win.

Red son just genuinely finds racing fun. Source: His truck literally turned into a race car before he ever had to race. he just likes going fast and building cool cars. also the fact he chose to race in the great wall race when there were other options to get the peach.

Red son has low empathy.

Red son isn't very good at comforting and instead is someone who tries to find a solution to a problem. He struggles to realize that sometimes there is no solution and some people just need comfort.

Red son is non-partnering aroace. He used to just say that romance got in the way of his work because he didn't realize that romantic interest wasn't just something you could turn on or off at will.

Red son actually doesn't have any bull-like features and he is rather self conscious about the fact he doesn't look like his father at all.

Red son is a cat person. Cats tend to flock to him due to being a living heater and he just accepts his fate and gets buried in them.

Red son doesn't know how to handle compliments or people being nice to him so he usually mistakes his confused feelings towards them with anger.

Red son is able to get "burnt out" in which he uses too much energy and his fire dies out for a while, in which he is only able to produce smoke. Usually after resting he is able to use his fire again.

His fire responds to his emotions. It can become hard to control when he is emotionally unstable.

When angry or stressed Red son turns to work. usually he will lock himself up in his room or workshop until he's calmed down or finished what he's working on.

Red son talks to himself and thinks out loud often. he finds it easier to work through his thoughts when he is able to verbalize them out loud as compared to them floating vaguely in his head.

Red Son doesn't really have a filter and will reply bluntly with his exact thoughts. he struggles to take into account how his words could upset others which has made him come off as rude.

The only time he is aware of what he is saying is when speaking to his parents. Source: Red son will seem to speak without filter until his parents show distaste in what he said in which then he will backtrack and try to change what he said to make them happy. (the "I have made it's power my pow - our power" scene in the pilot)

Red son doesn't eat beef because of his father being a bull. (more of a silly headcanon rather than serious)

Mk Headcanons:

Mk has the transmasc swag. Source: trust me bro. Also just him mentioning how he used to go by something before MK, how he wears a shirt when swimming, and how much he screams about being a monkey MAN. Very transmasc of him.

Mk has ADHD. He is SO ADHD you guys have NO IDEA. Source: IMPOSSIBLE DELIVERY THAT IS THE ADHD MOOD ALL THE TIME.

Mk cries over movies all the time. It's basically expected that every emotional scene in a film will end with him sobbing.

Mk is Gay AroAce. I imagine him being Demi or gray aro and then just plain ace!

The more power MK uses the more he shows monkey-like features.

Mk was actually decently strong even before he got monkey king's powers. basically he's got a bit of muscle on him.

Mk has a war form like Wukong, he just hasn't activated it yet :) (iirc Wukong's "war form" is really just Wukong's power to multiply his limbs so MK can do that too)

Mk will make weird noises as he does things, usually as sound effects to the task he is currently doing.

Mk can't swim. Source: He has monkey floaty :)

MK is sensitive to sound and uses his headphones to help control that. He often uses music as a stim and to help him focus. Source: he wears headphones a lot. also trust me bro. it's the adhd

MK talks to himself a lot, usually as a way to sooth his nerves to talk his way through a problem. He will also talk to plushes and other inanimate objects as a way to talk thought his thoughts as they get all jumbled in his head.

He tends to stay up incredibly late, even when he is tired. He can't ever seem to go to bed at a reasonable time.

MK is unmedicated for his ADHD. Not for lack of trying he just keeps forgetting to go get it prescribed.

MK can't drink coffee has it has the opposite effect on him in which it causes him to crash intensely. he tried to use it as a sleep aid once to go to bed earlier but instead it made him late for work as he slept way longer than expected. source: very common for ppl with ADHD to consume caffeine and become sleepy instead of energized. ofc this isn't how it is for all ppl with ADHD but it's common enough that i put it on MK ;)

MK tends to snack as a stim. He often will find himself missing full meals because of hyperfocus and his snacking stim making him forget he's hungry.

Mei Headcanons:

Mei also has the ADHD swag sorry I don't make the rules.

Mei is Lesbian Ace. I feel like she is either Demi-Ace or Gray-Ace.

Mei has a physical dragon form as well as the energy dragon. The energy dragon is a lot easier to summon compared to turning into a dragon - plus takes less energy.

While Mei likes cats, She is more of a dog person overall.

Mei used to be pretty shy as a kid mostly due to her trying to fulfill her parents idea of her. She only really came out of her shell when she became friends with Mk. Hence why Mei's parents, specifically her mom, didn't really care for Mk all that much. if anything they found him to be a bad influence for a while. also why Mk was never invited to Mei's house until S1E3

Mei has a better relationship with her father as compared to her mother. While both her parents are more traditionalists her father always was a bit more lenient and supportive of his daughters eccentricities.

Mei met Mk when out in town with her family. She saw him trying to win a crane machine and ended up helping him get the monkey plush he wanted...even if it was cheating the system. (also yes the plush he is seen with I headcanon to of been won by Mei and gifted to him)

Mei was a late bloomer when it came to her dragon powers which just added to the stress she had of being the family disappointment.

Mei often speaks without a filter when around the rest of the monkie kid group as she feels like she can truely be herself with her friends as compared to her family where she feels constantly stifled.

Mei is a variety streamer. She most often streams video games but sometimes will do vlogging streams along with MK as they go around the city. She has definitely streamed MK fighting a demon before.

Mei has raced illegally at least once and she totally WON.

Mei made the upgrades to her bike herself, such as the ability for it to come to her when she calls it. It made it easy when she has the sudden burst of motivation to drive it.

At first Mei was incredibly polite when meeting Pigsy and Tang, not fully coming out of her shell right away. At first Pigsy thought Mei would be a good influence on MK - he was proven wrong when Mei became more outgoing and starting causing mischief with MK.

Mei definitely crashed through MKs window while in her dragon form at least once (she was probably trying to visit him while he was grounded lol). Pigsy was not impressed.

Mei went to private school when she was a kid meaning that her and MK were only able to hang out after school. Though as she got older she had a tendency to start skipping class to go crash MKs classes instead.

Some mixed headcanons that don't belong with one character or another:

Mei and Mk are literally the only friends each other has. MK always struggled to make friends due to kids finding him obnoxious. Mei struggled to make friends due to her upbringing along with her ADHD making her rather abrasive.

#monkie kid #headcanons #monkie kid headcanons #long post #tumblr should shorten this automatically but tagged as long post just in case #this is ignoring s4 as i refused to watch it lmao #so if anything wrong then sucks to suck i guess!#but also i'm always right so #if others can blatantly ignore canon for fanon then so will I!#but my headcanons are better than fanon #this is a bit all over the place and tbh i could probably add more but my brain is blanking so #this is what u get #sorry not sorry the red son section is so big he's just the best character i dont make the rules

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cousticks · 3 months

Note

Can you expand on Rimlaine in your zombie au? 👀

oh i sure fucking can. warning for self destructive behavior a little greater than canon because i did some rather messed up things to make them work!

I kind of gave them a bit of a "you're the only person in this town crazy enough to handle me" dynamic but more of as a quarantine measure because nobody else wanted anything to do with either of them. My explanation of how I translate their abilities and dynamic into this universe is kind of long so I'm putting this under a cut!

so, i spend a lot of time in this au trying to translate everyone's abilities into an ability-less zombie au. rimbaud's ability in translation kind of got broken down into two main parts: compartmentalization and control. in an ability, this is his ability subspace, and the manipulation of the rules within it.

now. we know rimbaud is kind of nuts. we also know that in canon he's used his ability to keep himself "alive" when he should have died.

you're probably reading this going okay cou, that's cool and all, but where's the zombie apocalypse part? well, resistance to death, compartmentalization, and control? rimbaud is going to survive several zombie attacks. in the most fucked up way.

i've mentioned my zombie virus's function is, among some other diseases, based upon rabies. rabies spreads pretty slowly in the body, through nerves. so if rimbaud gets bitten? he's not going down so easy. compartmentalization and control - he just fucking cuts off a solid chunk of whatever part of him just got bit before the wound has a chance to spread then carries on. (note: i do not know if this would work with real rabies nor do i recommend it. this is science fiction! i do what i want!)

so we've got rimbaud, who just lops off chunks of himself when he gets attacked to survive. he develops a bit of a reputation for this. after all, in canon, he's a powerful ability user. why wouldn't he be of high reputation (with people a little afraid of him) in this world, too? he's known for having ways of "dealing with" zombies.

now, verlaine. he, like chuuya, is an experimentally "cured" zombie (not cured. still zombie. just... staved off.) he's still dangerous and unstable to a point. the experimental cure is rather miserable and not super effective (most just die when its attempted). he's still very much infected with the zombie virus, but it won't be getting much worse, save for occasional "slips" of fun zombie brain moments (not fun in the slightest). shoutout to @/squidsandthings for giving me another virus type to look into for ideas on how these slips work!!! i love taking inspiration from real life diseases to make this work.

so after verlaine gets essentially thrown to the wolves after the zombie treatment, he gets passed off into the care of pretty much the only guy who can put up with someone that's just a zombie with a still functional brain, aka rimbaud.

yes, verlaine has bitten rimbaud a few times. this is fine though. remember how rimbaud literally gives himself up for verlaine at the end of stormbringer? i'm carrying that over, here, with rimbaud literally being willing to chop bits of himself off to keep verlaine around. and in return verlaine is the only person around not dismally horrified of rimbaud... Doing That.

i wanted at least someone to be kind of happier than in canon somehow in this universe so i'm allowing rimlaine to at least get to stay together without that separation they have in canon. but also one constantly runs the risk of killing the other either accidentally or out of necessity.

i also really wanted to create the rimbaud & dazai parallels of "immunity" of a sort, though rimbaud's is a distinctly different flavor of immunity since its very self-wrought.

so there you have it! that's the rimlaine zombie au dynamic. they're both miserable and having a bad time but at least they're having a bad time together. (fun fact! they can't like. kiss or anything. because, like rabies, the zombie virus can be spread through mucus membranes ((like mouths!)) i can make them as canon as i want and it still doesn't do either of them any good! <3)

#⚰️#asks? answered. hotel? trivago.

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dxppercxdxver · 2 years

Text

AS FUCKING PROMISED! outlines for my ideas based on @teethworm‘s werewolf curt au!

there are Two of these ideas, the only differences between them based on When curt originally get werewolf-ized

oh also. this is gonna be a long-ass post

idea one: pre-fall

- in this story, curt becomes a werewolf while he and owen are still working together

- curt gets pretty banged up on a mission with owen and doesn’t really process exactly that he Has been bitten, let alone what that means for him

- he recovers from his wounds but now he’s having to struggle with the adrenaline of missions being a huge catalyst for his turning and that’s making him Extremely volatile and dangerous at spying

- curt decides to keep this secret from owen (for symbolism reasons of repressed queerness but also for practical reasons) but it really puts a wedge in their relationship

- because curt’s getting touchy and distant and hostile and owen doesn’t really know what’s happening

- eventually curt turns while they’re holed up in a safe house and goes after owen

- owen survives obviously but the two of them are suddenly confronted with “what do we Do”

- (also based purely on @owen-not-carvour‘s rememberings and my choice of Vibes the werewolf stuff is mostly triggered by very strong emotion rather than just the full moon for. Reasons)

- almost out of necessity owen kind of has to become curt’s confidante about this, even before they fully trust each other as people

- they still get together, in spite of a lot of curt worrying about hurting owen

- it gets to a point where owen’s kind of a stabilizer for him, and he trusts owen completely even when he’s not fully in control of himself

- and then owen Dies

- curt’s leave isn’t just for grieving, it’s also because he’s constantly struggling to just hold it together and Stay Human

- he spends a lot of time not really in his own head, tearing up his apartment for lack of anything better to do

- so he turns to alcohol to either stop the transformations or at least sedate him enough that he’s pretty chill when they happen

- but then. of course. chimera

- the entire time in his grieving period curt’s convinced himself owen’s death is his fault. he’s a monster, not fully in control of himself, and no one should trust him, least of all himself

- spies musical takes place pretty much as usual, except intermission has curt turning when the deadliest man tortures him and shoots him

- so he has to talk about that to tatiana, and kind of learns like. you’re not a monster, you’re just a person with emotions. you didn’t choose to kill owen, nor did this part of you make you do it. you just made a decision based on what you thought was best at the time, and everyone does that

- journeys of self-acceptance!!

- jumpcut to the staircase scene

- owen knows curt’s especially unstable

- also

- “silver bullets, love. don’t think we don’t know what you’ve been up to these last four years.”

- confrontation happens. owen is banking on curt losing his cool and shooting him during the turn

- he never does

- curt, entirely human, shoots owen between the eyes

- epilogue is basically the same except with some dog puns thrown in

- essentially the werewolf dynamic functions as both repressed queerness and a demonstration of curt becoming more well-adjusted in regards to his anger toward himself and others

idea two: post-fall

- in this story, curt is bitten after owen’s fall in the weapons facility

- once owen dies, curt tries to stay in the field and work his grief off, but he’s gotten sloppy without a partner, not to mention the ptsd

- so he gets jumped and he gets bitten

- this time, the turns represent curt’s increasing downward spiral of belief that he’s inherently harmful to the people he loves

- he turns to alcohol for much the same reasons

- tbh a lot of this story functions pretty much the same until we get to the staircase scene, where owen has No Idea that curt’s a werewolf now (would chimera likely know this about him. yes. now shut up i need this for plot reasons)

- curt manages to stay pretty cognizant during their conversation but at some point something just. Clicks

- owen watches as curt expertly shoots the gun out of his hand, but then instead of advancing on owen, curt drops his own gun

- and owen sees this Thing in front of him that is no longer curt writhe and scream and howl and then Look

- there’s barely enough time to blink before curt’s tearing owen’s throat out with his teeth

- thus, the werewolf stuff functions as the lesson that curt can embrace and utilize a part of him that he’d learned to despise

either one of these poses Soooo many possibilities and honestly i love both of them

#radio free junebug #spies are forever #curt mega #tatiana slozhno #owen carvour #my writing #friend words #lars!!#werewolf au

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0thsense · 11 months

Text

5/27/2023

Welp it's been about a month since I've returned from Korea. I've decided (for now) to not follow a consistent format for these posts and just write however I feel like for that day. For today I just wanna snapshot how im feeling. Yesterday I went on a hike with Carter and Martin which was nice since I havent talked to Carter in a while. He might move away soon and so might Martin, which makes me sad. I've thought about it for a while but I need to make new friends if both of them leave. I guess I should build up the willpower to go to church with Austin. I also saw James recently, maybe I can be closer with him.. but he will always have a different core group of friends.

What really triggered me to write a blog today was the fact that at this point in my life any attempt to derive self-worth from any external or even *internal factors is unstable/failing. by internal I mean things like my own capabilities or value props to society. Clearly from an outside perspective my value is in question, being unemployed for like 2.5 years now. From an internal perspective I also feel worthless a lot of the time because of my inability to work towards any of the goals I set for myself. So where then can I derive any sense of self-worth? I think it's not viable to live life thinking that I'm worthless. So I guess I have to try to believe that I and by extension everyone has innate self worth, regardless of their value to anyone else. Sounds suspiciously close to christianity lol. so yea I just have to believe it. My current desperate line of reasoning for it is that everybody has a story and everybody's story is beautiful. The implication of this is that you have to even believe people like serial killers are not exempt from having this innate value. I remember reading about Albert Fish and his quote "I don't even know why I'm here". Obviously an extreme example but the world isn't built for everyone. Some people are a good fit for today's society and others like me struggle some more. It is an easy way of thinking to judge people's worth in the context of today's society, and for many people thinking like that is perfectly functional. Probably they look down at least subconsciously at copers like me and just think we are weak for not being able to succeed in the current world parameters. For me it just brings sadness, and I'd rather think that everyone's human story is beautiful.

I remember that I used to derive self-worth just by knowing that I'm smart. taking IQ tests was therapeutic seeing the high number affirm myself. more and more though as I realized IQ is only one of a long string of coefficients in the formula of your productive worth, and as I realized some of my other coefficients are sorely lacking, and I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to change them, this store of self-worth eroded. wow that sentence was terribly constructed but it is what it is.

Not related but I want to clarify that my self-worth idea is one step further than the surface level online advice, which is to not base your self-worth on what others think of you. The normal idea is that you should have a stable idea of your own self, for example let's say you believe that you are good-looking, then if someone insults you and says you're ugly you will not be too affected by it. But what if your stable idea of your own self is both accurate and also not very worthy. For an extreme example what if you know that you're an ugly stupid mean person who brings no value to society? Then you must believe in the innate value that all humans have, and believe that you are worth just as much as anybody else in this sense. Otherwise how can you live a viable life?

I guess for some quick updates I still go to the gym though I need to go more regularly, and I'm trying my best to do things like going out on hikes, etc. I'm not as depressed as I was earlier this year though it's still tough sometimes. I tell myself I will move if nothing changes in a year, and that really scares me. I'm deathly scared of moving and just failing at a normal job. Then I'll feel like all my doors are truly closed. Pray for me if that happens. Writing this wasn't as therapeutic as I thought it would be. I wonder why. Maybe this reflection of myself is too dull. I am struggling deeply to really believe in my own self-worth. If I can't do this step then it feels doomed. I will have to try to find self-worth in the conventional fashion which I've been failing at for so long.

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bitea-sweetea-roseytocin · 3 years

Note

Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie

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awhitehead17 · 3 years

Text

Batfam Alphabet: J - Joker Junior (JJ)

Summary: When Dick is joined by his brother’s alter personality he struggles to complete his case work. JJ can be rather distracting especially when Dick has to keep a constant eye on him because he can’t be trusted to be on his own.

A/N: This story references to torture and self harm, nothing in graphic detail but please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable. This story is based where Tim had been kidnapped by the Joker and turned into Joker Junior.

Enjoy! :D

“Don’t. Put it back. Now.”

There’s a few beats of a silence and without looking he could tell his orders haven’t been followed. “Don’t make me tell you again.”

Seconds later there’s a clanging of metal which indicates he’s been finally listened too. Dick takes a deep breath in and slowly lets it out before turning his focus back onto the task at hand.

He’s currently re-reading old case files looking for any names, locations, alibies that could possibly be linked into the current case he’s working. It’s a tedious task but it needs to be done. That being said it would be a lot easier if current company wasn’t present. It was rather distracting having to split his focus two ways so he could try and work as well as keep an eye on the kid at the same time.

This time Dick’s read no more than a paragraph when the sound of moving metal could be heard yet again.

Sighing in resignation, he shuts the file and turns around to face the rest of the cave. His eyes instantly drift over to the weapons table where his companion currently is at. The kid is frozen in place, staring wide-eyed at Dick knowing he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. It’s like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, only in this situation the cookie is a dagger rather than an edible treat.

Opposite him the kid silently blinks owlishly, it would actually be an adorable sight if it weren’t for the creepy ass grin stretching across his face. It’s the grin that reminds Dick who he’s dealing with. It isn’t Tim who is standing in front of him but rather his alternate personality, JJ.

JJ first appeared about two years ago after Tim had been captured and tortured by the Joker. The best explanation they could come up with for his appearance is that JJ is Tim’s way of detaching himself from the traumatic experience he had. JJ is the result of the horrendous torture Tim went through.

It’s certainly taken everyone some time to adjust to this development. Even now, years later, everyone is still getting used to it. Tim is here, he’s still present and is the core identity, but JJ occasionally makes an appearance especially when Tim is feeling threatened, extremely stressed or emotionally unstable.

The whole thing has been a learning curve for everyone involved. Even Tim had to learn to deal with it. At first he understandably didn’t accept what was happening but over time he seem to concede with it and even come to some sort of agreement with JJ, apparently the two identities can communicate no matter who’s in control. Tim’s tried to explain it to him in the past but it’s pretty mind boggling so Dick simply believes what Tim is saying and doesn’t ask questions.

He can’t help but feel a little disturbed by JJ’s presence, it’s an unfair feeling because it’s not JJ’s fault – or Tim’s – but being reminded of what his little brother had to endure at the hands of an insane psychotic man is unnerving. It’s like a reminder of how he didn’t protect his little brother and how he failed him by not being good enough.

He knows the others also share similar feelings. Jason simply stays away from JJ, he doesn’t even enter the same room as him. Damian is constantly on edge when JJ is present, he often carries his katana around with him when they’re near one another. Cass happens to be the one who handles JJ the best, her calm demeanour seems to bizarrely settle JJ a little. Bruce… well Bruce has similar thoughts to him of how he failed to protect Tim, but both as a father and a mentor. He’s sat down with JJ and has had a conversation with him, they seemed to come to some sort of agreement which Dick doesn’t know the details of. Alfred, god bless him, takes it all in stride as he does with everything. Everyone else is weary of him but are civil towards him as much as they can be.

“JJ, I told you to put it down. Why did you pick it back up?” Dick questions after a long drawn out silence.

JJ plays with the dagger in his hands, twisting it this way and that with skilled precision. He blinks again and lets out a giggle. “Timmy needs to be punished.”

Dick frowns at the answer. That’s not what he had been expecting. “Why does Tim need to be punished? What has he done?”

“He failed us.”

JJ says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but Dick has no idea what he’s on about. How has Tim failed? All Dick knows is that recently Tim’s been busy with the Titan’s and how he’s been working on his Neon Knights programme.

“What happened?”

JJ doesn’t respond and continues to play with the dagger in his hands. Seeing the sharp blade being toyed with makes Dick feel tense, he knows what kind of damage can be done with a weapon like that and he doesn’t want Tim – and by extension JJ – to get hurt.

“Timmy needs to be punished!” JJ repeats agitatedly. He stops playing with the dagger and grips it in both hands, Dick couldn’t help but wince when he sees the blade dig into the skin of his palms. “When someone fails they get punished. When they are bad they get punished! Timmy has to be punished for what he did.” JJ trails off with a high pitched giggle like the idea of punishment is hilarious.

Dick runs a hand over his face, he’s not getting anywhere here. Where’s Cass when you need her? She’s usually better at dealing with this side of JJ than he is.

“You know that physically punishing Tim also means you hurting yourself, don’t you?” Dick suggests evenly, trying a different tactic. “There are other ways than physical pain to deal with these sort of things.”

Dick has an inkling he knows what this is all about but he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions just yet.

JJ lets out an uncontrollable giggle. “Silly Big Bird, I don’t feel pain, Uncle J made sure of that. Timmy on the other hand needs to pay for what he did and physical pain is the best way to teach a lesson so he remembers not to do it again.”

As if to prove a point, that’s when a drop of blood drips from JJ’s hand and lands on the floor. JJ doesn’t even notice. Dick tries to not flinch at the sight it, he hates the idea of his little brother hurting, no matter what it is it’s always hard to witness.

“I understand that you may be frustrated JJ, but why don’t you try talking to Tim instead. Tell him how you feel about whatever it is that he did and explain why you’re upset with the situation.” Dick suggests trying to sound as reasonable as he could.

JJ violently shakes his head, he seems to be getting more riled up as the conversation continues.

“No! Talking doesn’t work! He ignores me and doesn’t listen. The mission failed and he put us in danger for no reason, we could have been killed for nothing. He needs to remember to not do that again. I’ll make sure he remembers not to.”

Dick lets out a hum in acknowledgement. Something they’ve come to notice since JJ’s appearance is how protective, and even possessive, he is of Tim. The key thing is how no one is allowed to hurt Tim in anyway whatsoever, if they do then JJ will go on a vengeful rampage against whoever was responsible for it. That includes Tim himself.

To JJ, Tim putting himself in danger is essentially Tim hurting himself and he really doesn’t like that. It’s happened a couple times in the past, so in response to Tim putting himself in danger (often during missions) JJ feels the need to punish Tim for it.

Taking a deep breath Dick stares at the kid and wonders how he should proceed. He can’t just turn around and say “no” or retaliate because JJ will only get defensive and probably go do something much worse as a result. While Dick ponders, JJ stands there opposite him still gripping the dagger tightly in his hands with a small puddle of blood forming at his feet and grins creepily at Dick. To make the scene worse JJ tilts his head to the side just a little, adding to the creepy affect even more.

Thankfully he’s saved from trying to decide what to do when another body soon joins them in the cave. Dick’s attention turns away from JJ and onto Cass who casually strolls towards them with a light bounce in her step. Dick smiles warmly at her, feeling relieved for her appearance. Then immediate guilt hits him because he really shouldn’t be thinking that, Tim is his brother and what’s happened is by no means his fault and he should try to be supportive where he can, though sometimes it can get difficult.

Cass silently comes up to them and stands next to JJ. Dick watches with amusement as JJ’s grin slowly disappears from his face and is replaced with a scowl, his eyes narrow in what he would say is a challenge as he stares at her unmoving. Cass simply raises an eyebrow, she places a hand on her side and cocks her hip while she holds out the other in silent demand.

The two stare at one another for a long time, clearly testing the other’s patience and if Dick’s being honest he has to give JJ some credit for how long he’s with standing Cass’s pointed look. However it seems like JJ can’t out last Cass because he soon drops his gaze and relaxes his grip on the dagger but doesn’t let go of it yet.

“Timmy and I just want to have some fun. Why is that wrong?” JJ pouts, actually seeming disappointed and confused for why they’re saying no to him.

Dick catches himself from saying anything at the last second. He wants to question the ‘fun’ part of punishing but thinks better of it, it’s best that he stays quiet and lets Cass handle the situation.

Still staring at JJ, Cass keeps her hand out waiting for JJ to give her the dagger. After more staring he slaps the weapon into her hand with an exaggerated huff.

“Fine.” JJ huffs with a stomp of his foot. He scowls and crosses his arms over his chest. “I guess I’ll have to find another way to punish – oops! – I mean play with Timmy.” He lets out a hysterical giggle at his own words.

Cass shakes her head and moves towards Dick. They make eyes contact and Cass sends him a soft smile, when she gets close enough with the hand not holding the bloody dagger she reaches up and cups his cheek. “Finish work and rest. I’ve got this.”

Dick places his hand over hers and sends her an appreciative look. “Thank you.”

Standing up Dick grabs the file he had abandoned earlier and makes a move to leave the desk, it’ll probably be best to head to his bedroom in the Manor where he won’t be disturbed, but when he turns around he finds JJ now over by the weapons table yet again.

“JJ!” He snaps harshly. The kid startles and looks up at Dick before a wide grin stretches across his face, he’s not even ashamed that he’s been caught with his hand hovering over another dagger. He soon retracts his hand and places them both behind his back, he sways side to side like he’s an innocent kid.

“What? I’m not doing anything.”

Dick couldn’t help but eyeroll at the blatant lie. He sends JJ a pointed look. “Behave.” JJ’s response to that was to blow him a raspberry. Sending Cass a nod he leaves the desk with his folder tucked under his arm and makes his way to the stairs.

Unfortunately it wasn’t that simple. He should have been expecting something to happen really considering that nothing is ever easy with the kid, it’s only thanks to his reflexes and instincts that he hadn’t been impaled by the dagger JJ had just been eyeing up moments ago.

The weapon is now lodged in the wall in front of him from where Dick had luckily dodged it. The situation takes a moment to process in his mind and once it does he spins back around to witness JJ giggling hysterically and a wide-eyed Cass who had a hand over her mouth in shock. She’s clearly just as caught off guard by JJ’s actions as he was. Dick takes a deep breath and steadies himself, at least it didn’t actually hit him, not that the sentiment really helps with anything.

Deciding it’s really not worth it, he continues his journey to the stairs and proceeds to climb them, but not before grabbing the dagger buried in the wall along the way. JJ is Cass’s responsibility now, one he’ll happily pass over to her.

The last thing Dick hears when he gets to the top of the stairs is JJ calling out to him in between giggles.

“Bye bye Big Bird! See you soooooon!”

#batfam alphabet #dick grayson #Tim Drake #cassandra cain #JJ #joker junior #implied torture #torture #tw: self harm #bit angsty #cass cain is the best #This is not my best work #i really struggled writing this one #I've gotten to the point where I'm done with it #here have this mess #batfam #fanfiction

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whosscruffylooking · 3 years

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The Purest Things-Something There

Warnings: Mentions of murder. Canon-typical violence.

Word Count: 2.5k

a/n: i am so beyond sorry that it has taken this long to get another chapter out. this doesn’t follow my post schedule that i had previously given, but hopefully this can be a good place holder till later this week.

The Purest Things Masterlist

May 2008

Bookend: "It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent." -Madeleine Albright

"There's no way I'm doing that," you rebuttal, "Hotch? Tell them it's a ridiculous idea." He stays silent, but his mouth twitches slightly.

Oh, you son of a-

"Richards is a classic narcissist. The challenge of facing a tough, fearless, and intelligent woman will give him his high. Narcissists are drawn to goal-oriented women, women who are resilient, adaptable, yet decisive. Show him that you are a good listener, but don't praise him."

"Think of him like a wild animal," Spencer adds, "You don't feed zoo animals because they are unpredictable. Remember, narcissists have an extraordinary sense of self, and when you praise his ego, you enable his unstable and feeble mind. He doesn't hear praise; he hears how much better he is than you. If you don't feed the beast, he won't have the stamina to combat your confidence later."

"Once you disarm him, I'll come in and challenge his confidence," Hotch concludes.

Could you have said that less attractively? That would have been more helpful.

Aaron cheekily smirks as if reading your mind but quickly looks away. You wish you didn't blush so fast-that you had some sense to keep your emotions to yourself. In a second, your cheeks are rosy, and you are convinced that everyone in the room can perceive your feelings as if you wrote them on little notes and passed them around.

You grunt and roll your eyes, "I hate all of you."

Derek snaps his fingers at you, "Lose the jacket."

"All men are pigs," you spit while removing your blazer, leaving you in a fitted tank top and your tight-legged jeans that hug your curves in all of the right places.

Derek wolf whistles at you, and you hurl your jacket at him. Aaron lets his eyes slide up and down your body, his gaze lasting longer than it should. He swears that as you stride into the interrogation room, your hips swing a bit farther side to side than usual. It is the very action that radiates courage, a mind coupled perfectly with itself and the world around it, concentrated and solemn.

Typically, Hotch would divert the task of adulating a narcissist to Prentiss, but he knows if anyone can take command of someone's attention, it's you. How does he know? Because you captivate him far more often than he cares to admit, defying his very being with every interaction. You are a secret weapon that he wants to keep concealed until you can allow your talents to shine genuinely. Aaron knows that now is your moment. ++++ "What is it that I am being accused of? Fraud? Embezzling?" The sharp-dressed businessman questions; his gaze is straying further below your eyes than you care for.

Pig.

You throw a file down on the medal table, and it slides across, stopping right in front of the man, successfully redirecting his stare somewhere other than your chest.

"Try murder."

His eyes widen, "You're joking. Come on, where are the hidden cameras? I'm ready for you to yell candid camera now! I am Milton Richards, for god's sake!"

"I don't know!" You shrug your shoulders. "Why don't you explain this to me, Mr. Richards. I'm just as confused as you are. What reason could a successful, charming, handsome, wealthy business mogul like yourself possibly have to kill someone?"

"Oh please," Richards scoffs, "This isn't an interrogation. You've already pegged me as guilty."

"I don't agree, but you have the right to feel how you feel."

He purses his lips, leaning as far away from you as physically possible while handcuffed to the table.

"Milton, why did you try to escape a moving vehicle when my team apprehended you?"

"Just felt like it, I guess," he shrugs mockingly.

"So, something just randomly compelled you to flee the custody of a federal agent?"

Richards leers at you. You stand up and walk around the table, leaning down next to him, "I get it. I do. You're a suave, wealthy, and ruthless business tyrant. You have to cover your tracks-do what it takes to survive."

He raises his eyebrow, turning to face you, your faces mere inches from each other. I got you now.

"Trust me. I know probably better than anyone what it takes to maintain a position you fought your entire life for. I'm a woman; I had to claw my way into the F.B.I. Do you think it's easy being surrounded by a team filled with uncontrolled testosterone? Womanhood requires balls; I see you keep your balls in your pants, cool, cool. Mine are on my chest, up top. As you've so duly noticed."

His eyes flicker to the aforementioned area, and you restrain yourself from gagging.

"And you know what, Richards? I use them every day of my life. Because in my line of business, sometimes I have to take the backdoor to get things done. Why do I get the sense that you were the same way before you became Mr. Wolf of Wall Street? How else does a kid who grew up in the projects become a multi-millionaire mogul by 27?"

"We both know what the other is capable of. C'mon, let's show each other a bit of respect here. No games, let's be upfront with each other," you appeal. ++++ Aaron watches as you work the room like it is your stage. You play the part perfectly. He admires your ability to absorb things and then responded rather than immediately react to douse firey circumstances rather than add to the flames.

Derek finds himself next to Aaron, smugly observing Aaron's visible fascination with you.

"She's fantastic, Hotch," Derek beams with pride. Hotch holds his breath behind pursed lips in an attempt to barricade himself from the feelings of foolish jealousy he feels creeping up.

I know she is. I think I recognize it a little too well.

Aaron knows that Derek will be scrutinizing his reaction to the commendation and refrains from responding.

Of course, Derek reads this lack of a reaction as a response itself. And he finds it strangely amusing. ++++ "Here's what I think happened," you twirl your finger around the manilla file, "I think you were having some money troubles and your top investors caught onto your little games. When you sat down, you volunteered the crimes fraud and embezzlement as reasons you assumed we brought you into custody. You listed them like they are apparent reasons for us to charge you. Those are two areas you are clearly willing to take the fall for and have cause to oblige by."

Opening the file, a photograph is revealed within of a murder victim. Richards shifts uncomfortably in his seat, stifling a cough.

"Do you know this man?"

"N-no," he claims as his eyes flutter from the photo to his hands.

Surprised by his blatant tell, you glance back at the two-way mirror.

Turning back to the suspect with a newfound spark in your eyes, you press harder, "Strike one. Try again."

"Excuse me?"

"The man in the image is Walter Barone, the C.E.O. of Jameson Whitely Associates...your accounting firm. Your company was going bankrupt, Milton. There was nowhere left for you to turn. So, do you want to try that again? This time, answer my questions directly and honestly."

"Walt had a reserve saved for me worth $5 million. Last week when I approached him about dipping into the fund to keep the company afloat, he withheld it. I wouldn't kill him for it, though."

"Well, see, that's the problem here, Milton. When he was found, that little reserve of yours was nowhere to be found. Naturally, you can assume where my mind goes when I try and put two and two together, right?"

"I told you," he says, clearly provoked by your accusation, "I wouldn't...didn't kill him."

"Wasn't it you, in your book, right? Who said, 'It's surprising what a man will do when properly motivated?' I don't know about you, but losing everything you'd ever worked for and having your one saving grace held from you seems like pretty good motivation."

Silence. "Oh, come on, Milton, now is not the time to act so arrogant!"

He slams his fists on the table; you abstain from being startled in an attempt to show him no fear.

Wild animals can smell fear.

"Arrogant, huh? Why don't you step up and prove me wrong? Prove you're better than me. You despise me for being successful; I despise you for your assumption that you could waltz in here like a tramp and seduce me into giving myself up. What? Too harsh? I'm not sure you and I are even the same species."

Hotch bursts into the room, and you quickly signal for him to stand down. I've got this.

He gives you a prideful wink. I know you do.

Somehow Aaron being in the room gives you that last little push to conclude this grand performance of yours. Slowly, you begin clapping dramatically for his little one-person comedy act. He certainly knows how to play the fool.

"Is that a dare? Challenge accepted. Your entire life, you have suffered from a disease... a fragile ego. You have built these walls of detachment so that you can conveniently solicit status to hide your true, weak self. You lash out because you feel it compensates for your insecurities."

"The truth is, despite being at the top of the corporate chain, every day you lead the life of a loser. You are willing to destroy people psychically, emotionally, and mentally. And you view that as a cause for celebration. You are the embodiment of a loser and abject failure."

Hotch touches the small of your back; you shiver at the sudden warmth that fills your body in reaction to it. He hands you a piece of paper, one that seals Richards' conviction.

"Milton Richards, you are under arrest for the murder of Walter Barone, Hank Simmons, Frankie Lisbon, and Jillian Ryder."

Hotch motions for you to do the honors.

"By all means, lead the way."

Holding yourself proud and tall, you waltz over to Milton and hoist him out of his chair. Inclining your lips to his ear, you tell him contemptuously, "You lose." ++++ "Way to go, superstar! You had us all on the edge of our seats," Derek says, wrapping his muscular arms around you. You breathe in his cologne and savor the sensation of being in his arms.

Since the day you met Morgan, you've felt a draw to him. Not in a romantic way, though you proudly admit he is hands-down one of the most gorgeous men to set foot on earth. He gives you the feeling of safety, warmth, and brotherly love. His hugs rejuvenate you after a long day of work, and you see to it that neither of you leaves the office without receiving your signature embraces.

Aaron observes you and Derek's shared embrace from the shelter of his office. Before he can comprehend his movements, his legs carry him to the terrace overlooking the bullpen.

What do you think you're doing, Hotch? Pull yourself together. They’re friends. Just like you and her are.

Dismissing his inner voice of reason, he calls out to you, "Y/L/N. See me in my office."

You grimace at his tone of voice but abide by his request.

Derek chuckles, "Green is not that man's color."

"What?" You turn to him, confused.

"Goodnight, superstar."

"Night, handsome," you blow him a kiss, trying to brush his comment out of your mind. ++++ "You summoned?"

Aaron's whiskey-colored eyes meet yours. The tempo of your heart quickens like a metronome.

"You did a phenomenal job in there."

"I've learned from the best." You. I've learned from you.

He clears his throat, "Those things you said...a-about the men on this team. Is that how you truly feel?"

Shocked by his willingness to believe such a misleading statement, you gasp and close the distance between the two of you.

You must have some nerve to believe that I would ever view you as anything other than the most upstanding man I've ever met.

"Aaron, what I said in there is further than the truth than I would have liked to have strayed. In fact, it was with you that I finally felt equal as a human being-like someone recognized me for my intellect and self-worth. A woman can't acquire that regardless of how 'equal' this world claims to be."

Aaron finds himself lost in your eyes, absorbing every meaning behind your words.

"It was a freeing feeling having someone I respect so highly show me similar respect."

No. Don't stop talking. Please. Hotch blushes at his inner monologue, incapable of comprehending precisely what kind of influence you hold on him.

"Anyway," you laugh, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in your face, "Sorry for my little tangent."

"No," Hotch interjects firmly, "Never apologize for expressing your feelings. I assured you last year that I'll always be available as a sounding board for you. That offer still stands."

Your gaze softens as you study him, his intentions, his mannerisms. He notices your pupils dilate, and it commences a chain reaction within his veins. To him, it's not the fact that you radiate beauty on the outside. Sure, you are physically fit and put in the effort to maintain your appearance. Naturally, that would be why someone like Derek Morgan would have you on his radar.

But, Aaron has gradually grown accustomed to the kindness that you seem to reserve just for him. He sees the differences between how you act around the team versus when you step inside his office or are alone in the car with him, even the way your confidence elevates when he walks into the interrogation room.

These differences aren't unique to just you, though. Aaron notices the same changes in himself when he is around you. Never did he expect to go home from work and lie in bed thinking about the way your eyes strayed on his for a moment too long, or how as he completed paperwork at his desk, he'd replay in his mind a cheesy joke you told the team. He knows how you like your coffee from observing you in the break room one too many times.

One cream, two sugars.

Your laughter warms his body from the inside out. When you talk about your favorite comic book with Prentiss and Morgan, the twinkle in your eye never fails to bring a smile to his face. He knows that you hate getting out of the car when it rains because your perfectly straightened hair that you spent god knows how long on will undoubtedly curl.

His changes were less evident on the outside. But, he knew that deep down, there is something there that wasn't there before.

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thehmn · 4 years

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The first time I head someone say “Tony Stark created all his villains” I thought “Oh my god that’s brilliant! I love it!” because I honestly love the idea of a hero who started out as a villain and is now haunted by his past in the form of people he has wronged.

So I was actually a little disappointed when I watched the movies again because Tony had a lot less influence on his villains than I had been lead to believe. He has some, but a lot of it was trivial stuff we’re all guilty of.

Terrorists

Probably the closest thing to villains truly created by Tony because of malice. He was too stupid and self centered to see the pain his weapons caused these people and it took them kidnapping him to be shaken out of his entitled, drunken stupor. If not for them he would definitely have stayed a villain.

Obadiah Stane

Tony was a victim of him rather than the other way around. Through it probably wasn’t intended when the first Iron Man movie came out, later movies have implied that Stane was a member of Hydra who helped arrange Tony’s parents murder, then made himself Tony’s new father figure and got to work grooming him, all so he could eventually become the owner of Stark Industries.

Ivan Vanko

His beef wasn’t really with Tony but with Tony’s dad for screwing over Ivan’s dad. He basically just decided that the sons should continue their fathers’ battle and was ready to kill and maim hundreds of people to get to Tony.

Justin Hammer

Just a fellow arms dealer who fell in love with Tony. In an attempt to get ahead on the marked and impress Tony he broke Ivan out of prison and realized too late how mad Ivan was. Not evil so much as stupid and I have no idea how Tony could have stopped this other than fucking Justin so he wouldn’t be so desperate for his attention.

Ultron

Created by Tony from the bottom up, and his version of a knee-jerk fear reaction. The moral of Age of Ultron: don’t let people with unchecked anxiety and PTSD create weaponized robots.

Aldrich Killian

Tony didn’t meet him on the roof. Killian saw this as a good reason to turn into a murderous maniac instead of, you know, chill for a second.

Trevor Slattery

Does he even count?

Quentin Beck

Tony didn’t credit him for his invention and called it BARF, and when Quentin confronted him about it (implied flipped the fuck out) Tony fired him for being unstable, and was proven right when this prompted Quentin to hack a plan to murder millions and take his rage out on teenage Peter Parker. Notice how in the actual scene of Tony showing off BARF nobody laughs, but when Quentin remembers it there’s a laugh track. It’s heavily implied that he saw things as way worse than they actually were and overreacted. So yes, Tony should have credited him in the first place but a calm conversation would probably have solved it instead of, oh I don’t know, trying to kill half of Europe’s population.

So I suppose you could say Tony created his own villains, but it’s a lot less impressive than it sounds.

#tony stark #mcu #marvel

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makingspiritualityreal · 3 years

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Numerology Life Path 22 - Your Birth Card and its Ruling Planet

Numerology Life Path Numbers and their assigned Tarot Card Meaning Series - Master Number Edition

This is a post in my new astrology/numerology/tarot series, that only concerns you, if you are a Life Path 22. Originally, I wanted to do them all in one post, but my writing turned out to be so long, I decided to split the post and seperate the Life Path Numbers. The introduction part of the post will be the same for all Life Path Numbers, in case you only read a post about your own Life Path Number, and nothing else.

Introduction

The concept of a Birth Card links Tarot and Numerology together, in order to deepen our understanding of a vibration of a Life Path Number we are born with. The Birth Card, or rather Birth Cards, are Major Arcana Tarot Cards with assigned numbers, which correlate with Life Path Numbers. Understanding the meaning of tarot cards, mixed with the knowledge of Numerology Vibrations, helps create a more unique vision of your life experience. A person with any given Life Path Number, having several Major Arcana energies present in their lives, usually struggles with one of the energies more than the other. As a result, life will probably force them to focus on mastering one of these energies. In general, however, any Life Path describes both your biggest downfall and ultimate triumph - just like with an Astrology Chart, the highlighted numbers/astrology houses point to your biggest strengths and weaknesses. For a better understanding of this concept, visit my article “Natal Chart - A map of your issues?” Remember, that everyone, besides their Life Path Number and Birth Card also has a unique astrology chart. Thus, for some people embracing the higher expression of their energy is easier, for others it’s harder and it takes more time to master, and some energies become easier to deal with than others. Most human beings are somewhere in between, working on their path and having some achievements while struggling with difficulties at the same time. In the spiritual community, there are differences in opinion on linking Astrological Planets and positions to specific numerology numbers energies. My take is a result of my own personal experience, conversations with other people in my field and research, in order to give you the widest possible spectrum of ideas and increase the understanding of every Life Path Number. Even If you have only a basic understanding of Astrology, Tarot or Numerology, this post will still be helpful to you, because it describes the unique vibrational mix that comes from the expression of both these spiritual sciences mixed together. To calculate which Tarot Cards and what Life Path correspond to your birthday, click here.

Life Path 22 - The Caring Master Builder

The vibration of a Life Path 22 blends within the energies of the 2 and the 4. This makes it a very sensitive, yet energetically heavy combination due to the mixed influence of the Moon, Saturn and Rahu. Early on in life, this Life Path exists in a state of constant struggle between the mind and the heart, fighting between their compulsive urge for practicality and extreme sensitivity. They can be emotionally unstable or drained, depressed, frustrated and compulsively attending to the same, mundane tasks to regain the feeling of control. That dynamic takes time to get a hold of due to the extremely contradictory planetary energies. The energy of the Moon is sensitive and caring, the energy of Saturn is strict, practical and grounded. It is a difficult task to provide for oneself both the internal high standard, that exists with Saturn, and the gentle touch that the Moon needs to function. The additional energies of Rahu can give this Life Path a very compulsive mind, as Rahu continuously desires to move forward with new details, which throws an extra spark of anxiety on the already fragile mind of a 22 vibration, if that progress can't be provided.

Life Path 11 and Life Path 22 share the intensity of the 2 vibration, however the 2 is more pronounced in the 22 Path, being doubled.

That makes a Life Path 22 struggle on a higher level with independence and extreme emotional volatility. While an 11 in crisis tends to shut down internally and downplay their uniqueness in order to be accepted externally, they don't really let anyone in as they are in self-protection mode, as they are fundamentally self-directed. A 22 however, lacks that self-direction, because they have a different mission in this incarnation. As a result, when distressed a 22 latches on to the nearest energetic source for survival, entangling it and integrating itself into their being. The result of this tendency depends entirely on the environment, that a Life Path 22 finds themselves in.

That is why working for a community is a must for a Life Path 22. The intense, Moon ruled energies of a double 2 need a big, energetic outlet that a group provides, and in the framework of a group they can practice, master, share and unleash their 4 vibration, becoming an invaluable asset to any community they are a part of. A group also fulfils their need for emotional belonging. If too isolated, 22s tend to fall into abusive relationships, due to their deep need to be surrounded by and connected to external energy. Out of desperation to have their energetic needs fulfilled, they can become very toxic and clingy, because unlike the 11, the 22 doesn't have the 1 vibration that forces them to work on their individual self expression. The double 2 creates an extreme danger of putting themselves in the victim position, yet at the same time tying themselves to another willingly out of a sense of survival. A 22 vibration has a very deep need for a solid emotional structure, and the threat of having this structure removed threatens their need for stability, which can make them hold on even tighter even to the most toxic partnership. That type of partnership sucking the energy out of them prevents them from developing the positive 4 qualities, which is innovative, practical achievements. Living in a larger community prevents a Life Path 22 from entering this dynamic. Due to connections formed with many people, the setting disperses the overly intense 2 energy among the crowd and gives this Life Path a sense of safety that they so desire, which creates a good environment for their work.

It is equally important for a Life Path 22 to avoid toxic situations as it is not to demonise their needs and emotions. While it may be difficult to handle a Master Number energy in human society for all Master Vibrations, the needs of this Life Path exist to be fulfilled, just like with everybody else. This Master Number is at most risk to try to deny their sensitivity and emotional needs due to being influenced by the 4 vibration. While an 11 is the most likely to hide with their self expression externally, they understand their needs on a deeper level internally and guard them, and the risk of shutdown doesn't eliminate their acute subconscious self-awareness. A 22 however, can completely push out their needs and desires due to their conflicting desire for practicality, progress and material results. That puts them into a negative expression of the 4 vibration, which is a cliché of a dry, uninspired workaholic who feels empty on the inside and compensates it with practical perfectionism. However, since emotional nurturing is what actually drives this Life Path in life, they can't hold on to this perfectionism for too long, and this dynamic eventually leads them to a burnout, when in the tired state they shut down even from their 4 vibration and they are not capable of producing practical results.

To find out about the birth cards associated with a Life Path 22 Vibration, read my writing on Life Path 2 and Life Path 4, as all those tarot cards will be applicable.

The key word for a Life Path 22 is Balanced. This vibration out of all numbers possesses the most potential to create and nurture an extremely abundant, tangible energy, both from a material and emotional standpoint, however this cannot be accessed without internal balancing of an unstable psychological makeup. This combination can produce an expert, who possesses deep knowledge with a high attention to detail, yet is still sovereign and connected to their heart space. This is a vibration of a scientist, that hasn't lost his compassion and can connect both to their mind and their heart. A mature Life Path 22 uses their skills for physical survival, without closing off their heart, or falling into the other extreme of being emotionally overwhelmed and uninspired. No other Life Path has such a unique skill for community building and providing. This is the additional energy that is produced in this Master Number, that differs from a singular 2 or 4 vibration. A mature Life Path 22 is a rock for the network of connections that they have build, which in turn allows them to thrive within this network and continue developing and sharing their skills.

#numerology #master numbers #life path 22 #master number #numerology master numbers #numerology master number #numerologist #numerology reading for you #life path number #numerology reading #numerological #tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

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syubub · 3 years

Text

May 13th Reading

Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.

Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!

Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.

(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)

So so so so

Let's start.

I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!

Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.

The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?

I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.

The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"

And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.

I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were

Now this part:

"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"

Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.

This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.

Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.

Anyways

He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.

I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.

Now let's begin the monster read.

So. The first row of cards

I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"

Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.

The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.

So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?

Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles

This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.

I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.

Soulmate time

Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.

As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)

Now for the bad boys in the middle

The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.

Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.

FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.

For the row of bottom cards

I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.

Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.

Now to the sides!

Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.

So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)

We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.

The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.

"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"

Now for soulmates cards (same structure)

Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."

Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.

Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"

The last stretch my friends.

So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"

Now we have heaven sent.

""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"

" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."

And free from judgment, free to love

" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."

" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."

" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.

And that's all for the cards but but but.

Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.

So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up

You gotta be fucking with me.

Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.

YOONGGGIIII

Anyway,

I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.

As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"

And then

It hit me

"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"

I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.

The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.

I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat

But Mr smug butt had different plans.

My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????

My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"

Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.

(Asshole)

Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?

To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.

Thanks, buddy.

Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.

My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.

Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!

~~~~

That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.

#bts #bts tarot #bts reactions #yoongi #bts imagines #bts readings #yoongi imagine #bts suga #min suga #suga #min yoongi

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