#certainly not worse than normal. im not Good but its like fine.

[simonstamenovic]

🙄

#self harm #jst as a preface ugh i feel cringe anyway #love getting the urge to hurt my self for no reason im not even feeling... like #certainly not worse than normal. im not Good but its like fine. #just so bored i feel i need to crawl out of my skin #and i can't go get in a fight as a fun little treat so. this ig. annoying. #not gonna do it but i still really wanna.

[glitterrosesnzz]

okay so technically it's not the 25th where I am yet- its two hours until midnight- but listen the go ahead message came in and im far too hyped to wait so-

@casspikaeyaliker i was your assigned snalentine this year!!! i returned to my roots for this one shdlfkjssdhflksjs

Venti climbed in through the window of Kaeya’s office. 

“Good afternoon, Sir Kaeya!” He said, like this was a completely normal occurrence despite Kaeya’s incredulous look. “How are you doing today?” 

“...Fine.” Kaeya slowly answered, watching as Venti closed the window behind him, readjusting his clothes as he seemingly settled in. “To what do I owe the pleasure of having Mondstadt’s number one bard in my office?” 

“Psh, nothing much, what, can’t I just visit a friend from time to time?” Venti asked, “Oh, by the way, do you usually keep your door locked?” 

“Yes, and I normally keep my window locked as well-” 

“Do you mind if I stretch a bit then?” 

Now that was a follow-up question Kaeya hadn’t been expecting. Despite the innocent look on Venti’s face when he had asked it, something about it seemed… suspicious. Still though, Kaeya thought, subtly rubbing his nose against his sleeve, it wasn’t a request that screamed danger. 

“Sure, be my guest-” Kaeya cut himself up with a startled yelp, shooting out of his seat and pressing his back against the wall to be as far away from Venti as possible as a pair of white wings suddenly emerged from the bard’s back. “Hey!” 

“What’s the matter? You’re not scared of birds, right?” Venti looked slightly smug as he shook his wings a little, various loose feathers falling to the floor as evidence that his wings had not been let out in quite a while. “Unless… well, no, surely that’s not it? Certainly the feathers cannot be bothering you at this distance… or maybe, is our dear Calvary Captain’s nose a bit more sensitive than usual today?” 

Kayea almost imperceptibly tensed. Venti should’ve been right, the feathers shouldn’t be bothering him at this distance, but… he could already feel his nose begin itching, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the allergy or- 

…Venti had a very knowing look on his face. Kaeya sighed.

“How did you know?” He asked, slumping a little, allowing a little bit of how horrible he actually felt right now to slip into his posture as he ran a finger under his nose, trying to quell the slight itch before it could evolve any further. 

“Oh, well, a mysterious red-headed bartender mentioned that one of his… informants, happened to overhear a certain knight sneezing his head off in an alleyway last night.” 

Ah. So the person he had only barely avoided running into last night had been the famed ‘Darknight Hero’. Apparently Kaeya hadn’t managed to stifle his sneezes to silence as well as he thought he had…

…His damn brother didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. 

“While that is an interesting story, that still doesn’t ex-... explain why you’re hh-here…” The tickle in Kaeya’s nose flared, and he rubbed at it a bit more harshly. Venti let out a laugh. 

“Well, it certainly won’t do to have you working while sick, would it? No, I’m here to take you home so that you can rest.” He said, crossing his arms with a smug look on his face that normally Kaeya would’ve responded to with some kind of sassy remark, but- 

“Hh-hiH’NGTsh-iu!! Heh- H’NTCh-uu!! Hh’ISHi-uu!” Ah, shoot, he hadn’t been able to stifle that last one, a small layer of frost covering the arm he had subconsciously raised to his face. The tickle still hadn’t gone away, the three sneezes simply being unsatisfactory for it, and Kaeya tried to resist the urge to just instantly sneeze again and get it over with. He failed. “H’ItCHhi-uu!! HhiH- …hH’iSShu!!

“Oh, wow.” Venti’s wings folded up and then vanished as though they were never there. “Diluc wasn’t kidding, you do sound horrible.” 

“Snf…It’s just a cold, it sounds worse than it actually is.” Kaeya said, ignoring the doubtful look Venti shot his way. “I can work through it-” 

“Kaeya, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you’ve covered the entire floor around you in frost.” Venti said, pointing downwards, Kaeya following his gaze to find that he was right, the floor was now covered in a thin layer of swirling frost. “Not to mention the fact that the temperature in here dropped by at least two degrees, and it was already freezing in here when I came in. It’s a wonder that you haven’t noticed.” 

“It just doesn’t bother me that much.” Kaeya carefully stepped onto the frost, only slightly worried about slipping, trying to make his way back to his office chair. “Cryo vision and all. Like I was saying I can handle it- hH’IShh-uu!!” 

Damn. That one had snuck up on him. 

“Nu-uh, don’t think I’m falling for that one Sir Kaeya.” Venti said, “I’m going to be taking you home, whether you like it or not.” 

“But what about Jean?” 

“I got her permission earlier-” 

“Ah. Is that what the scream this morning was about? You came in through her window didn’t you-” 

“Enough talk about my choices in how to enter buildings.” Venti interrupted, “Jean says you can have the day off, so you’re. Going. Home.” 

Well. Kaeya honestly didn’t think he had the option to say no to that. 

“Isn’t this encroaching on my right to freedom?” Kaeya asked, as Venti stepped forwards to grab hold of his wrist. 

“You can be free when what you’re doing isn’t detrimental to your health.” Venti sighed, muttering something under his breath about how ‘you brothers are exactly alike’, which, Kaeya didn’t really get what he meant by that, but he figured he wasn’t exactly in the position to ask. Venti’s hand tightened around Kaeya’s wrist. “Hold on tight.” 

“You’re the one holding onto me- wait why would I need to-” Kaeya didn’t get the chance to finish his question, as a surge of anemo picked up around them, and, between one blink and the next, Kaeya found himself standing in the foyer of Dawn Winery. “This. Is not my apartment.” 

“No, but it’s still your home isn’t it?” Venti sounded way too certain when he said that, and, well, technically Kaeya couldn’t consider him wrong, but… Before he could answer, Venti’s expression suddenly shifted to a guilty one. “Ah… oops.” 

A stray feather, that must’ve been caught up in the teleportation winds, drifted down and just lightly brushed past Kaeya’s nose. But still, it was enough. 

“Hah-hH! H’NGtsh-uu!!” Kaeya freed his wrist from Venti’s grasp, quickly using his hand to stifle a sneeze. But of course, this cold of his wasn’t just going to accept that. “HihH’NtCh-uu!! Heh- hH’NGTchii!! ‘Ntch!!! Hih- hH-! H’ISHi-uu!! Hh’iTCHi-uu!!” 

“Jeez, you sound worse than you did last night.” 

Both Kaeya and Venti startled at the sound of Diluc’s voice, turning around to see him standing in the doorway. Kaeya sniffled, taking a second to rub a finger against his nose and insure that he wasn’t going to sneeze again before responding. 

“And how would you know that? I thought it was one of your, ‘informants’, that had seemingly overheard me last night.” 

Diluc almost imperceptibly stiffened, before relaxing. 

“After hearing what my informant told me, I went to check on you myself.” He said, turning to walk into the dining room. “Don’t think about it too hard. Adeline’s made your favourite soup, by the way. You should come and eat.” 

Well. Kaeya most certainly couldn’t say no to Adeline’s soup, now could he. 

#Gen/shin Imp/act #snz #snz fic #24snzvalentines #i WAS gonna do a g/aming fic but then realized i unfortunately have no idea how to write him #i might try a drabble with him in the future though sjldfkjslfks #anyways... i hope you like this!!!

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey uhhh i hope its fine to ask advice.

i (??? im really blurry rn sorry) got two new headmates relatively recently and im trying to figure out how i can let them front without putting us in danger.

if i dont let them front they will be even more mad at me, which just makes it worse.

i just really dont know what to do because we're busy with (online) school for 5 days a week and on the weekends i want to relax, but i guess i cant take all that time for myself because they need time to relax too. but im still really stressed because if they meet my parents and act wrong it might not go well like last time.

it seems really hard to put the time out of my schedule despite it not being that busy due to stuff like chronic pain and needing a lot of time to rest compared to normal. but i dont want them to hate me.

sorry if this is impossible to answer. i get it if you delete it /gen

Hey, this is a fine and valid question to ask. We’ll do our best to answer:

For hosts, allowing their other headmates time to front and interact with the world (if those headmates want it) is essential to ensuring that the whole system can live happy, healthy lives. We know this can be very difficult to come to terms with, especially if you’re not used to having to share your time like this. I (Parker) still get weary from time to time sharing my life with my alters. It used to frustrate me more than it does these days, though. I understand that my alters want to experience life and interact with the world, and in order for me to give that to them, I had to learn how to step back and just let things happen without trying to control every aspect of their lives.

We understand that you might have to mask at home for your own safety. If you are able to contact and communicate with your headmates, it would probably be good to try and explain this to them. Y’all might be able to reach a compromise where other headmates can front if, while your parents are around, they’re able to effectively mask or pretend to be you. We know this situation isn’t ideal, but at least that could allow these headmates a chance to front every now and then. Many systems unfortunately do have to mask for their own safety - and if y'all reach a point in your lives where you no longer have to live with your parents, you can focus on learning to unmask.

At the same time, maybe you could set up some ground rules for dealing with your chronic pain and the amount of rest you need. Could you educate your headmates about the body’s pain and fatigue issues? This way, if other headmates understand how to manage your body’s pain and get enough rest, they may be able to front more often and even help you take care of your body.

To start, even just allowing your headmates to front for 5-10 minutes at a time can allow them to test out the waters of existence, hopefully without exhausting you. The more informed they are about your situation, and the more willing y’all are to make compromises and cooperate with each other, the more you may find it’s possible for you all to live in harmony together. Perhaps with communication, patience, and taking things slow, y'all may be able to start switching in a way that allows your headmates to front occasionally, without putting your system in danger.

Good luck with this! Trying to navigate system life by allowing other headmates to front while keeping the system hidden can certainly be difficult, but for many, this sort of thing is necessary in order to accommodate other members and allow the whole system to experience the world. We're wishing y'all the very best as you try to figure this out!

💫 Parker and 🍃 Corrie

#long post #fronting #masking #switching

[ask-the-mailman]

to any of the ethans we haven't talked to yet; how fo you feel about this place?

( Strawberry Milk Ethan looked over before looking at their brothers again, asking a silently question before turning around complete ) " We like it so far.. its different but also the same in a way! " ( They said happily for them and their brothers besides poison )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Cupcake Ethan hummed, having a finger on her chin as if she was thinking, then she looked down at you to answer ) " it's rather plain, but I like it! Could use more candy though— "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Ethyn stared silently before just shrugging ) " It's not different from my world, so I'm not too sure on what to say ! " ( She answered, now dragging you to her room ) " Anyway, let's go play games now! "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Yandegire scoffed, lowering the knife he had pinned at your neck before pushing Yangire away ) " what's it to you anyway? hoping we're all having a good time so you won't worry? " ( They glared at you before Yangire pushed Yandegire back with a hand to yans face ) " we're fine! it's normal here, there isn't much to say. goodbye now! " ( He slammed the door )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Priest Ethan raised an eyebrow while stopping his movement of patting your head ) " well.. it's certainly something here, nothing too different! I just hate that pesky demon though.. why did they make me share a room with him.. " ( He sighed, patting your head again when he heard a thud behind you both, an offended 'hey' being heard shortly after )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Cupid turned to look at you as God Ethan brushed loves hair ) " Oh! How i feel? i feel great here! It's nice and cool! I personally— " ( Lov then proceeded to ramble, causing God Ethan to giggle )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Gem looked at you as he stood straight next to a warp pod ) " How I feel? Um, it's very different! In a good way i mean.. My diamond and I used to visit earth a lot even if it was way different than this one, so I'm accustomed to it! " ( He shuffles his feet ) " May I go now? "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Darling Ethan only stared blankly. ) " how else am I supposed to feel? different? Its just the same. "

( Brazilian Ethan elbowed him and waved at you ) " it's cool here! Wish I was back home though, to be honest. Kinda getting home sickness! "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( ??? Ethan looked at you from a very large distance and shrugged, too uninterested to really answer )

( Ime Ethan(lucifer) sighed and turned to you from his seat ) " It's normal. Just normal. " ( She said and promptly picked up a knife from inside their sleeve ) " Now will you leave or do I have to use this? "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( AD!Mailman simply walked away before you could even ask the question, Mayor Mailman following after apologetically ) " Its cool! " ( He said in a raised voice before walking away completely )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( omo ethan maintained eye contact with you before starting into the camera, choosing to not speak )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

" Uh..? Normal? For like any ethan who's not drastically different? " ( Hanahaki ethan said, ticked off as his leg started bouncing ) " Why are you asking everyone anyway? " ( They asked, their irritation getting worse the more she stays seated ) " This is stupid, get out. "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Ahodere Ethan wasn't found, maybe its because he's lost? uh oh.. )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( SCP ethan merely continued to cuddle you, not worrying about anything in the world.. head empty, no thoughts... )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( MH Ethan stared at you in shock, how did you even find his room— coughing, he answered ) " its nice? "

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Gacha ethan and pony ethan only hid behind sans ethan, opting to not answer ) " * ah.. sorry! " ( Sans Ethan said, sweating a little )

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

( Plush, Cloud, Shipper, Moth and Moth keeper were sleeping, they had got here recently and were tired from the transportation )

#ethanverse #basement boys

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

im telling you guys, yall are NOT gonna like my opinion on the incest in this show as a victim of incest

honestly i was just gonna leave it at that but im gonna put it all under the cut so i can nuke it if this gets out of hand. obvious tw for incest but real actual incest and csa

so ive been a victim of incest. what happened was my cousin, who was my age, got me to play a "game" where we were just humping each other. i was uncomfortable because it was surrounding something i didn't know about* and knew i shouldn't know about, and i didn't want to get in trouble when we got caught. so i squealed, they talked to him, and it stopped. he asked me to play once after, i said no, we did something else

(*i was a sheltered kid, and he was already on the internet. i was 8-9)

but that's not when i was a victim of incest.

what really happened was my mother had a strange fixation on my ass when i was prepubescent. and when i started going through puberty and developing, she'd slap it as i was walking by, no matter how many times i voiced my discomfort. she also showered with me past the appropriate age and once touched my vagina under the guise of "cleaning" it, and as i grew up would have an uncomfortable fixation with my affection, and there was an incident where shed plant long, sloppy kisses on me and smell me, like take a huge fucking whiff. and she even admitted she had a fake version of me in her head that she talked to. it was emotional incest with a side order of real incest

and my opinion?

shut the fuck up about the incest jesus christ.

i remember when i saw this therapist. my mom was isolating me away from my entire support system and i was spiraling hard. i told him everything and he concluded i had PTSD

but not from my abusive mother.

from my cousin.

the insistence that the incest was the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me infuriated me back then, and it infuriates me now.

the uncomfortable experience with my cousin paled in comparison to the repeated, rampant abuse i suffered at the hands of my mother. not even the incest shit, the other stuff.

but the insistence that incest is the Be All End All of bad harmed me. it prevented me from getting the help i needed- once i revealed that experience, it was all that therapist focused on. not my mother. not the damage she was currently doing to me. a weird encounter with my cousin.

which brings me here.

the whole.... point of this show is to reveal the seedy underbelly of society. how immoral it all is, the things normal people would shy away from and be disgusted by. and the incest is just.... one of those things. it's not portrayed as good, nothing in this show is! but yall treat "not explictly treated as the worst thing possible" as "glorifying and fetishizing" and its getting on my goddamn nerves

and before yall say "yeah but there's just some things that are too far!" by whose metric? yours?

another person who watches the show could say that izaya's kidnapping of suicidal girls is "too far." another could even say that a man having dyed hair is "too far." someone else could say that the high-school characters being in gangs is "too far." why should everyone follow your metric of what "too far" is? why are you the main arbiter of good and evil in fiction?

and i'm not saying you have to like the incest. it does cross a line for a lot of people, including other victims of incest. i get it.

but its mere presence isnt suddenly worlds worse than everything else in this show, and it certainly isn't something that needs to be fixed. sorry ur girlboss gaslight slayqueen fave is an incestuous pedophile but that's just the canon of the show and it fits with the theme of the show. you just want it to be fixed because you can't bring yourself to like her with this information, you have to moralize everyfuckingthing you do, including liking a character, because liking a character means you agree with everything she does??

again its FINE if people want to make fan content of her without the incest in it, blah blah et cetera I GET IT, but acting like its some sort of moral failing on narita's part for even including it in the first place is kind of selfish and misses the point of the . whole series

#cancellation speedrun #please dont be braindead about this #sorry i dont think incest is miles and miles apart in severity than any other evil #that wasnt very 'one of the good aspds' of me

[slenderfirebolt]

Since im up too late i may as well make a too-long post about my thoughts on meat consumption in its present form. So, while im not completely against eating animals on an ethical level (animals eat eachother in nature, we evolved from animals that ate animals, pretty normal stuff) most of my issues come from our means of meat production and the insane amount of food waste, which while especially bad in the US, i imagine definetly exists everywhere else. the main reason why i was fine with eating meat before is because it feels so wasteful to *not* get the benefits after everything the animal went through. i imagine myself from the perspective of the animal; i am born to be a product, i am fed and watered only so that my flesh may be harvested for consumption by a being beyond my understanding. i may live without ever seeing the sun or feeling the wind... that fucking sucks, obviously evil. So when i consider that the life of so many animals, i feel terrible thinking about how after that, so much of the meat is wasted, left to rot and be thrown away. while it would still be an ethical dillemna even if we *did* consume 100% of the meat produced by factory farms, the fact that we basically make animal grinders to mass-produce living, feeling things and then *chuck most of it in the trash* is utterly unacceptable to me. Factory farming is likely to continue forever, even though we have many alternitaves to meat, plenty of people still eat meat *because* it is from an animal, so that demand will always exist. worse than that, a sudden decrease in demand would lead to *further* food waste, and some meat alternitaves are too expensive for everyone to afford. also, theres a cultural aspect as well, many cultures are very meat-centric or have the raising of animals for meat as a core practice, what right would anyone have to decide that a tradition or practice should end? so if i have so many reasons why its ok to eat meat, why am i deciding to cut back now? it seems like, at least from my perspective, my reasoning is fairly ethically sound. well firstly, its expensive if its anything other than chicken and im a college student, and given the fact ill probably need a *doctorate* and at minimum a master's in my field, any savings is good. Holy fucking shit i hate having to use my teeth to scrape bones free of their meat, also eating tendons is annoying. overally, eating tofu and beans tends to provide me more enjoyment (an important part of good food) than eating most meats. they are more consistent, can have plenty a variety of flavors, and while certainly far from *cheap* depending on brand, the cost/enjoyment/calorie balance, at least for me, is better than meats. easier to cook alternitaves. wont poison you if you cook em wrong. also since its so consistent its fairly predictable, and you dont have to navigate all the bones. to be completely honest, im unsure if ill end up totally ommitting meat products from my diet, since i dont want to waste food thats given to me, and i still want to enjoy the foods i do eat that involve meat, but i think from now on im not going to buy meat as part of groceries, and instead consume the alternitaves. i have already been on track to do this for months, the chicken that inspired this is the first 'meaty' thing i have eaten in ages. If anyone has any particular favorite vegetarian dishes, especially on the cheaper end, lemme know, since im more than open to try them out.

#food #vegetarianism #vegetarian #ethics #meat consumption #meat #i hate bones #also tofu is good #and beans are good

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

The Kings of Middle Earth - Thranduil | Thorin | Bard

pairing: Thorin x reader, Bard x reader, Thranduil x reader | gender neutral! btw lol

wordcount: i was too lazy to check

triggerwarnings: there's two sentences with gen z exaggeration indicating suicide, and i just want to say that this is not meant to in any way downplay suicide and suicidal thoughts. please don't take it seriously. if you have to fight those thoughts yourself, remember that there's telephone numbers and websites where you can ask for help

here are three gifs because christmas. 

no im lying its because google wouldnt give me one of all three of them in one so i had to do them separately. 

stan my kings or come die at their hands,, because you will, i dont make the rules- i’d say “or come die at my hands” but thats very unrealistic tbh, i wouldnt be half as good at fighting as them and also they can look out for themselves very well. mostly. partly. what im tryna say is fuck you if you dont like them 

Being ambassador was fine. Usually. Fine when there weren’t three grown men, kings at that, gushing and fighting over you like teenage boys. And the fact that your family had mixed to the point where you had all their kin’s blood flowing through your veins - which had really got you this position in the first place, seeming like a good idea at the time and a very questionable one now - made it a ton worse. You had been fairly sure that you could play some kind of helpful role in the negotiations after this war, but all you had got yourself into was a mess that rather ensued another one instead of solving the first. In a way you were naively proud of it, flustered and bemused and all giddy because of it, but far more than that were you annoyed. They got on your nerves all the time and made your job so, so much more complicated than it had to be and than it initially had sounded like. 

Today had been especially exhausting to say the least. Normally you ignored their behaviour, dismissed all they said that had nothing to do with negotiations, and quickly slipped out of the room before anyone could stop you. You didn’t quite know either why you were so disinclined to spend more time than necessary with them - certainly every other person in your place would enjoy it far more. But today of all days you were in no mood for another of those meetings, for negotiation and talk of war and their tiring attempts at snatching your attention away from the parchment you always had draped over your lap. You’d woken up in a bad mood already, then spilled your breakfast on your newly put on clothing and had to change it. Your horse seemed to be in the same kind of gloomy state you were in, because the second you’d slipped into the saddle it had thrown you right off again. Luckily it wasn’t a rainy day at least, so you’d only fallen onto grass and dirt and not mud to stain your shirt again. 

You lived in a little house in Dale at the moment, one of those that was safe enough to sleep in without being crushed by a breaking ceiling. That really would’ve fit your mood though. Thorin had offered you chambers in the mountain, Bard and Thranduil had offered you one of their tents, but you’d declined both and declared that you’d gladly stay on your own down there in a house far enough away from all three of them that you didn’t have to see none of them even when you rode up to the mountain when there was a meeting to attend to. Because they did usually happen in the mountain. Only rarely did Thorin come to Dale, and then only when the two other kings had complained so badly about their rides that he had no other choice but to offer a meeting in their tent. Because he was certainly not about to offer chambers to them. And they would not have accepted anyway, neither of them, for very different reasons. 

“Are you even listening?” 

The pen you’d been holding slipped, drew a dark, black line down the parchment and fell to the ground with a thud. You cursed as you bent down and reached for it before surveying the damage it had done - this was one piece of parchment you would surely not be using further. 

“I was, in fact, not”, you muttered, crumpling it in your hand and throwing it to the corner of the room - where you would absolutely have to go pick it up again once you were done, but couldn’t bother thinking about now. You’d been gloomily, silently sitting in your chair, staring at the parchment and your pen and not listening to anything the three of them had said. It was a wonder they spoke without your assistance anyway. Now you looked up to behold the mostly bemused face of Thranduil and the somehow a mix between worried and amused expressions of the other two. You straightened your back, ran one hand through your hair and tilted your head to the side a bit. 

You might have been in the presence of three kings, but you certainly were not going to act like someone had shoved a stick up your ass, especially not after three months, three months!, of these ridiculous negotiations that could have been settled after one. And, despite the utter respect both Thorin and Thranduil were used to being shown, none of them had once commented on your less royally-fit behaviour. You were you, and the kings were also just men, with emotions and thoughts the same way you had them, so there really was no need to play the cowering animal. Yes, they had done great things, yes, they had a ton of influence, yes, they could probably have you executed or thrown into a cell in a matter of minutes, but they were not god-like beings that you should fear. Really, who could actually be afraid of these three absolute, jealous idiots? 

So you leaned back in your chair and stretched your legs out on the stone floor. “I seem to have missed the entirety of the conversation, though I do have to admit I’m shocked there was one at all.” 

Thranduil, who was in the chair opposite you which he’d claimed his ever since the first meeting, smiled, and it was a soft smile that you couldn’t help but return. If any of them were to be feared, it was him - but not by you, not when that lovely smile was so often directed at you, not when there lay something beautiful in his gaze that you could always spot when he was looking at you. 

But it was Thorin who replied, and you tore your eyes away from the elf and towards the dwarf, who sat, of course, at the head of the table, lounging in his chair that was just slightly bigger and slightly more decorated than the others were. He was as proud as Thranduil was, but this was his home after all, and so he had all the potential to show it. Not that you minded - it was never his behaviour that was affected by it, not around you at least, it was pride for his people, pride for his kin, just the same way you knew Thranduil had it, too. It was strange how much the two had in common, though it led more to argument and difference than similarity. 

“What is it that is on your mind so much you cannot pay attention to the one talk that happens without you?” 

He was grinning a bit, though he tried his best to hide it. You did not - you laughed out loud without restraint, actually laughed for the first time today. As much as you cursed the lot of them, you loved them too, for they could cheer you up in a matter of seconds and have come close enough for you to throw away all reason more than once. You knew that if you were not here for work, you would not have denied them your blush and giggle and become as lovesick as you sometimes felt you wanted to be and had never been. 

“Horrible morning, I have to be honest with you. But - The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid”, you quoted with the ghost of a smile on your face. “Thinking makes age a quick thing and beauty lingers only in youth. I don’t like losing all sense of reality, so I do dearly apologise.” You chuckled quietly as Thorin raised his eyebrows, looking only a little bewildered. 

“Because we never get back our youth. The pulse of joy that beats in us at twenty, becomes sluggish. Our limbs fail, our senses rot. We degenerate into hideous puppets, haunted by the memory of the passions of which we were too much afraid, and the exquisite temptations that we had not the courage to yield to.” You laughed, almost snorting as you beheld the face of utter confusion and perplexity of the dwarven king. “It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place.”

You turned your head back only to see that Thranduil had raised his eyebrows all the same, and Bard was smiling faintly, eyes fixed so piercingly just on you that for one second you had to blink. It was no predatory gaze, no stare that could have made you uncomfortable, yet he seemed as though he could read you like an open book, and you had to admit you’d thought more than once that he knew you well without actually knowing you well. It was strange in itself that you were in this situation, kings so alike and different all the same, and while they took the same interest in you for whatever reason that you could not tell, they looked at you and spoke with you so uniquely that sometimes you wondered how they all held the same title. 

“It’s a wonderful little book, one of my beloved favourites, but hauntingly real in a way that left me breathless upon first reading and still does whenever I open it, though now I can recite half of it”, you explained, rolling the remaining parchment in your lap to make it a scroll and putting it onto the table together with the pen, not believing that you had been here for hours and written down two sentences collectively, which now were gone as well, for you had crumpled them and thrown them away. You were well aware that you were not here to speak about books you enjoyed, and had someone told you half a year ago that you would care so little that it were three kings you would open up to so easily, you would have laughed at them. 

“I don’t remember ever having read anything like it.” 

You tilted your head to the side and looked at Thranduil, knowing well that the small smirk on his face was a mirror of your own, but only bothering to consider it for the sake of Thorin’s scowl you could see even out of the corner of your eye. It had become normal at this point, even though you still checked twice when it were not the elf nor the dwarf, but the human king, who was usually, though more expressive than Thranduil, less likely to show jealousy, jealousy of all things!, like that. 

“I would have been shocked”, you admitted. “It’s human literature - the kind that no one reads anymore, I would have been surprised even if Bard had recognised it. But he does not strike me as the type who owns too many books anyway. Or do you?” You turned your head to look at Bard once again, ignoring wholly the way the elf tensed. You liked the three of them, but you simply could not bring yourself to be less annoyed by the constant competition about you. You, of all people. What reason was there for you to be fought over? By kings, dear god! No matter how much you did not want to consider their titles, there was life to be lived, people to be tended to, courts and lords and ladies to be satisfied - indeed, as much as you did not want to worry about it, as much as you did not want to see them in that way, they were kings, after all, and you were no ruler, not even born royal, and certainly not suited for a crown, even if it was one won in battle the way Bard had. 

Your expression fell once more today, and you slumped back into the chair, barely noting the shake of his head and the answer he readied himself to give turning into silence as he frowned. Of course it was today that you managed to also pull yourself down further. Hadn’t they just managed to cheer you up? And hadn’t you recited about how horrendously thoughts could poison the own mind a literal second ago? 

“What is it?”, Bard asked. You couldn’t bear the sheer worry that was laced with the simple question, about to crush your very skull. What had you got yourself into this time? Three kings, three charming kings, each so wonderful and wondrous in their own way, and somehow you were stuck in the middle of it all and toying not only with them but yourself, knowing fully well that there was no future for any of it, no matter a decision or none. You couldn’t rule a kingdom even if their interest were to be serious, and certainly you could not rule three. You pushed yourself out of your chair, ignoring completely the pairs of eyes that bore into yours. 

“Excuse me”, you said through gritted teeth, dragging your gaze to the ground and, just to busy yourself, pulling the cloth you used as a hair tie from your wrist and prodding your mane with it, trying to make it into some kind of presentable bun while taking three steps collectively before you were stopped. 

“I- We will not.” Thorin blocked your path with an arm to your waist, and you looked at him despite yourself, instinct taking over. All of this was shit. All of it was hell, and you had run right into the arms of trouble once again, just as you had always done, your whole life. For once you were happy, and after all it was just an illusion anyway, just a moment, something with only present and neither past nor future. It was definitely the wrong decision to lift your gaze though, because the second you saw the expression on the dwarf’s face, you were inclined to either throw yourself into his arms or off a balcony. Never before had anyone looked at you with as much care, as much tenderness and worry as these three kings did, and you could not keep it, not a single one of them. Though at this point you were not sure if you could and if you even wanted to decide if you had to, which you would not, because this thing was nothing but the blink of an eye for them, nothing serious, even if it was real. 

“You will tell us what is wrong”, Thranduil demanded, though... it was as much order as it was plea. A king speaking and a lover asking. Perhaps the throwing off a balcony idea was one you could actually make use of. It took all your willpower, all your concentration and determination, but you turned around slowly, did not whisk and jump over. the table and neither did you cry. You would not. This was work for you, negotiations for them... they were kings, you would not behave like a two year old in front of them, though you felt like one. And you knew just as well that you would crawl before them and beg if it came down to it, the stars knew for what. 

Thranduil's lips were a thin line, his stare as icy as it was soft, and you could not even bring yourself to wish you had never come to this war, because... as stupid as it was, you were more, far more than happy that for once there was someone who cared, that there was someone you did not mind being just yourself around, who teased and joked and still accepted all that you were. It was not your and not their fault that they were kings. 

“I’ve had a bad morning”, you repeated again, and indeed it was true- just not the whole truth now. Though the elf’s gaze softened, and Thorin to your left grabbed for your hand and gave it a light squeeze in reassurance - which was so unbelievably unusual in itself that you had to look down at your intertwined hands and brush your thumb over his skin in amazement. Thranduil did scoff this time, but the way your face lit up made up for it. He watched, not without the hint of a smile, your eyes widen and some of the life returning to your cheeks. Some of the heat, too. You hid it well normally, but never good enough, always just so much that they all still noticed it, and now that you made no point at all trying to conceal it, he found himself enamoured by it, wishing that it was him and not the dwarf who caused it, but content regardless, and promising himself that he would have you blush far more often in the future. 

“But it is more than that.” You turned around once again to look at Bard, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes that had fallen from your bun. You nodded, perhaps more gravely than before, which had Thorin strengthening his grip on your hand. Like a desperate man, you thought, and it brought a bit of a smile back to your face, if only for a second. Who cared that these men were king? Who cared that they had a crown and a title? Who cared? For in this moment, you decided that you did not. And it was a burden that fell from your shoulders, one that you had only subconsciously acknowledged, one that you’d ignored the way you’d ignored all that was too far from the topic of war and negotiation. They were here, they were right here right now with you, and there lay fondness and genuine interest in all their gazes, and everyone could go to hell if you could not savour that. If this were to end in heartbreak, then so it be, and as long as it did not, you would enjoy the present that this one was. Enjoy the interest of not one, but three kings, in such a person as you, of no name and no influence, with no promises and no obligations.

“Perhaps”, you said, and the corners of your lips tugged up. How ridiculous everything was, and how little you were to care for it. “Or perhaps not anymore.” 

#thorin x reader #thranduil x reader #bard x reader #bard #thranduil #thorin #thorin oakenshield #thranduil oneshot #bard oneshot #thorin oneshot #thorin oakenshield x reader #thorin oakenshield oneshot #the hobbit #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit fanfiction #christmas #for christmas

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Ten. Faces

warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!

**********

It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.

The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.

But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.

Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.

Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.

-

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.

A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.

"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.

After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.

"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."

"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"

Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."

"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"

"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."

This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.

"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.

"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"

Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"

"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.

"I seriously will kick you out of my house."

"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.

"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."

"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.

The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.

*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*

Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.

A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.

She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.

"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.

"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"

"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"

"Okay."

"Just okay? What's up?"

"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"

There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"

"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.

"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"

"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."

"Oh. Really?"

"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.

"Oh. Then why...?"

She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."

"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."

"I know."

"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."

Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?

"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."

Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.

"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."

"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."

He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"

She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"

"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."

"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"

"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."

She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."

Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.

Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.

She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.

"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.

"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.

Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."

"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."

"Can I see it when you're done?"

"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."

"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."

"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"

"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."

She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."

"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.

"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."

"Disgusting!"

A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"

Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."

"Are you talking to Bugsy?"

He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"

"Hi, Sapnap!"

"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."

"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."

A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.

"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."

"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."

"That's punishing yourself too though."

"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.

"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."

She had been caught. "It was implied."

"Sure it was."

"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"

He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.

Her smile dropped. "Clay?"

"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.

To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.

"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"

His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"

She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."

"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."

"Whatever."

"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"

"Very scary."

"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.

"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."

"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"

"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."

Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."

"Who knows if I'll actually go?"

"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."

"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."

Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.

"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."

"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.

"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.

"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.

She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.

He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"

"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"

He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."

"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"

"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"

She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.

"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???

"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.

She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.

His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.

Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.

She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"

She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."

"Aw cute, I made you blush."

"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"

"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"

"Sure you were."

"I was."

"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."

"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"

"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."

He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.

This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.

"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.

There was a long pause. "W-what?"

"Y/n."

He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."

"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."

"I would have been content never knowing."

"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.

"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."

It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"Bug? You okay?"

"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."

"Sorry."

"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.

He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."

"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.

"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.

"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"

He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."

She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.

"By the way, check Twitter."

"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.

"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."

She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.

"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.

Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.

"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."

"Booooo," he pouted.

"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.

"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"

She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."

Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.

"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.

"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."

"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."

"It's okay when I have people like you."

"People like me? What does that mean?"

"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.

She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

taglist: OPEN (at the time)

@hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @crybabyjabby @mae-musicbitch @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam​ @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot​ @fangeekkk​ @haseulreturns​ @queenwastaken​ @peteysgf​ @losingvienna​ @bi-narystars​ @zero-nightshade​ @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime​ @youhyakuya​ @danny-devitowo​ @clubfairy​ @loser-keiji​ @oi-itsemily​ @alm334​ @the-katastrophe​ @wreny24​ @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @brendalopez99​ @spacecluster​ @justonemoreepisode​ @strawbrinkofdeath​ @aikochan4859​ @chaotic-tieflings​ @dreamsofficialwife​ @where-thesundoesntshine​ @jamiealenaa​ @unstableye​ @kageyamama-hinatatata​ @officiallyunofficialperson​ @secretly-a-weeb​ @localsimp​ @loxbbg​ @rhymeorreason1​ @flubblubbb​ @kiritokunuwu​ @sylumarts​ @raining13lemonade​ @aiyncel @ghostfacefricker6969​ @avengemepercy​ @modyoonie​ @sapnapsupremaci​ @donttellaweirdweakling​ @writinginnit​ @mosstea-png @mayempress @theboywhocriedlupin​

#dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dream x y/n #dreamwastaken x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #smau #social media au #dreamwastaken smau #rpf #real person fiction

[chew-beka27]

Gally x (fem) reader - Jobs

Y/N hadn’t been in the glade long. Long enough to be trialling the different jobs with the keepers though. So far she’d tried helping Fry in the kitchen which would have gone okay if she hadn’t burnt everything, gardening with Newt and Zart, building with Gally but today was with in the blood house. Y/n was okay with blood, its just a thing that most living things have after all. However, she were most defiantly an animal person who most certainly did not want to be dealing with the freshly killed meet.

“Gally, please please let me come build with you again today. I won’t be able to handle it in there. I swear I’m gonna be sick just thinking about it”.

“Y/n, you’ll be fine. Everyone had to have a go at everything before they got their job anyway”

“But you’re a keeper! Can’t you just say that I did so well when I was working with you and you recommend I just start working as a builder right away?”

“You want me to go against Alby’s rules?” Y/n nodded her head enthusiastically “Nope can’t do that. Even if I could, don’t you remember your day building?”

Thinking back Y/n remembered how physically draining it was as a builder, a lot of lugging the building materials around (most of which she needed help to carry). Other than the difficulty carrying items y/n remembered the large amount of splinters she had received that day along with the bruises and the still black finger nail from using the hammer poorly. Despite Gally’s usual tempter towards others in the glade, y/n realised that day that he didn’t take that tone with them. Rather than cracking down on them and complaining she were doing everything wrong, he actually helped. This was nothing like what y/n had expected based on what the other graders had said. “You did well in the gardens today y/n, tomorrow won’t be so easy building with Gally though” said Newt. Chuck pipped up “he was so mean to me when I was trialing builder, it was worse than when I passed out in the blood house. Good luck tomorrow. You’ll need it.”

Turning back to Gally “okay so I’m not the best builder in the world but I can assure you that I’d be a better builder than working in blood house and I’m sure Id be an even better builder this time around now that I know what I’m doing” y/n pleaded.

“Sorry y/n still not gonna tell Alby that you should drop be a builder and not give it a go in the blood house. Plus by the sounds of it there leaning towards making you a trackhoe anyway so doubt you’ll be in the blood house again after today.”

“You’re not help. I think ill go find Newt and plead my case to him instead them,” y/n grumbled turning away from Gally. He caught her wrist and looked at them with an odd expression that y/n couldn’t read. She’d only been in the glade for about a week and she don’t remember seeing Gally look at them like that, nor anyone else for that matter. Confused y/n huffed. “Fine, ill go to the blood house. But when I pass out or worse vomit everywhere you better come visit me the med jack hut.”

“Deal”.

With that y/n met Jeff outside the blood house. “You ready for this y/n?”

“Not really Jeff but im here anyway. Ill do my best but no promises that I’ll be any good or that you won’t have to take me to the med jacks as soon a I see a dead animal”

With that she went inside. The smell instantly made y/n want to hurl. “Oh please its not that bad”

“That’s because you’re use to the smell Jeff.”

Surprisingly y/n had made it to lunch time without needing a visit to the med jacks. What was even more of a surprise was that Gally came to meet them at the blood house to go to lunch together. Normally y/n would eat with the group of where ever she were working that day. “Not at the med jacks yet I see” Gally remarked.

“Haha very funny Gal.”

The rest of the workers from inside the blood house exited and started to make her way over to lunch. “All good for me to head over for lunch Jeff?” Y/n asked poking her head back inside the blood house.

“Yeah go ahead. I’m just going to finish up this then I’ll be over.”

Y/n turned to Gally and gave him the thumbs up as an okay to head to lunch. As she started to walk over there was a loud crash sound that come from inside the blood house followed by what sounded like Jeff screaming in pain or surprise or both. Gally and y/n looked at each other before turning and running back to check what had happened.

Throwing the doors open, the saw the one of the goats had escaped the pen and had charged right at Jeff. Knocking his knife off the table and sliced his leg in the process.

“Gally, get that goat out of here now!” Y/n yelled before turning to Jeff who was now lying on the ground looking very pale. “Hey Jeff can you hear me?” His only response was a low grumble and a role onto his side. Okay good, he’s responsive y/n thought followed by stripping her shirt off and using it to apply pressure to Jeffs leg that was bleeding heavily. Y/n turned to look toward Gally to see if he had the goat way yet. Thankfully he had but was now staring at her. Only then did y/n remember that she had taken her shirt off. “Don’t just stand there Gally. Give me your shirt, Jeff is bleeding through mine then go get the med jacks!” She yelled at him. It took Gally few seconds to register what y/n had said before he rushed over, looked at them, turned a bight red colour. He was clearly flustered at seeing y/n shirtless. “Gally! Your shirt! I need it to reduce the bleeding.” Just as he was about to take it off others came bursting into the blood house taking in the scene of you sitting shirtless next to Jeff who was bleeding and Gally standing above you about to take his shirt off. “What the hell happened?” Newt asked as the med jacks came over to where you were sitting next to Jeff. You began to explain when you noticed that Gally was still staring at you with blush covering his cheeks. Not the time to think about this you though as you pushed the though out of your mind. Gally snapped out of whatever trance he was in and took over explaining to Newt and Alby what happened. You began relaying what you’d done to Jeff to the med jacks. By the time you had finished explaining Clint told you to take your shirt off Jeff’s leg so he could have a look. Thankfully the bleeding had slowed down that it had practically stopped now. As Clint examined the gash on Jeff’s leg you began to rummage through his med kit to find some wet wipes of some kind so you could get a better look at the cut. “We should get him back to the hut” Clint said to the rest of the keepers that had gathered to look. Once she had retrieved the stretcher and Jeff was on his way to the med jack hut y/n pipped up to ask if she could come along too. “It looks like the cut will need stitches” y/n said.

“We don’t have anything to do stitches with so bandages will have to do” Clint replied.

“I thought that we each got a little sewing kit from wicked when we arrived in the glade and stuff?” Clint, Gally and Newt all paused to look at you confused.

“ You know like the needles and tread packet that was in your pocket? I figured that we were each given one to fix our clothes and stuff?” Y/n replied. “Ill meet you at the hut then” yelled back as she took off running to the homestead where her kit was.

She shortly returned to the med jack hut with the things required for stitches and a new shirt on as well . “Here” y/n said passing the stuff to Clint who looked at the needle then gulped. Y/n watched as he took the needle and thread out of the packet trying to tread it. “Do you need some help? Y/n asked. Clint sighed and handed it back to them. Y/n threads it with ease and tied it off preparing to hand it back to Clint. “Y/n? You know how to do stitches?” Clint asked

“I know how to sow things so it can’t be that different can it?” Y/n responded

“Newt if it’s all good with you I think Y/n should do the stitches” Clint said.

“You’re the keeper of the med jacks Clint, its up to you”

“ You want to give it a go y/n?” Clint asked. You nodded, cast a look at Gally so looked at you, blushed then looked away.

Once you were finished, Clint took over the rest of the care and sent you to go get some now very late lunch. Once you came out of the hut you ran right into Gally.

“Jezz Gal you always waiting for me outside huh?” Y/n said as she looked at him.

“Wanted to make sure you were okay after all that. Wasn’t a pretty sight.”

“ I just hope that Jeff is feeling okay. He’s got some colour back to him now which is good.”

“That good to hear. You did well with all that im impressed.”

“Oh so I impress you huh?”

“That not what I meant”

Y/n nodded and began to walk over to see if Fry had any food left.

“I’m starving, you coming Gal” y/n turned around smiling at him. He just nodded and followed y/n.

Thankfully Fry had saved them some food. Although he did give Gally an odd look that y/n suspected was to do with how he was interacting with them. Y/n tried to make small talk with Gally while she ate but he wasn’t all that talkative.

“You feeling okay Gal?”

“Huh? Oh yeah yeah. Don’t like the sight of blood all that much that all.”

“Ahhh. So nothing to do about you seeing in just a bra then huh?” With that Gally’s face turned bright read. Y/n just laughed.

“I wasnt expecting that okay?” Gal responded in a hushed tone. Y/n placed her hand in on his arm in an effort to comfort him and she felt his body go stiff. She quickly removed her hand but Gally reached for it and just held her hand in his. Y/n looked up at him and smiled sweetly. Gally realised what he’d done and quickly dropped her hand much to y/n’s dismay. He cleared his through and stood up. “I should get back to the builders they’ll be slacking off since I’m not there.”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea. See you at dinner?” Y/n asked trying to mask to the sadness that their little flirtation was over for the moment but hopeful it would resume later. Gally nodded before turning around.

“Oh and despite what I said earlier I reckon you’ve found your job as a med jack” he looked over his shoulder and smiled before turning away running off to the rest of the builders. Y/n smiled and sighed as she wanted him run off.

“You know I saw all of that right?” Y/n jumped at Frypans comment.

“Oh what ever Fry. Do you want help with those dishes or what?” Y/n laughed and followed him into the kitchens.

#tmr gally #maze runner #gally #gally x y/n

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

hi can i please request one where levi's s/o is sort of like him in personality but just melts whenever theres a baby. like she'll see a baby in town and will go from silent and moody to the heart eyes emoji but a person, or she'll babysit her neice or nephew or cousin and will be just so loving and bubbly? like its obvious that she wants to be a mum but she never brings it up because she doesnt think he wants kids and eventually they get pregnant + his reaction? sorry if this is too much (1/2)

ΑΝΟΟΟΟΝ IM BLUSHING THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really loved this request and it inspired me so I pushed before others because I had to get it out of my system. I hope you like this. It's super duper long also👉👈

Warnings: uhh pregnancy, mentions of anxiety

Tags: fluff, domestic Levi, pregnancy, modern au

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Baby Fever

Your heartbeat grew louder with each passing second as Mike abused the door with one too many knocks. You didn't know if you could talk, or breath or do anything other than vomiting though this time from the anxiety building at the pits of your stomach and not due to your very recent event of morning sickness.

"Are you alright in there?"

You choke on your own voice as you try to huff a single response. It's not really up to your judgement of you're alright or not but rather in the small white object's that rests between the thumbs and pointer fingers of each of your hands. You contemplate if there's a way to not raise any more suspicion to the blond male, you're at his house for all that matters. Nanaba called you to take care of their their twins and you happily complied to your half sister's pleas because Mike had a very important job interview. Life had taken a toll on him lately, they couldn't afford a babysitter and he was just recently fired due to his company having to cut down expenses thanks to the pandemic. Amidst this pandemonium he had to find a way to provide for his family and help Nanaba with at least a short monthly salary. So babysitting your beloved niece and nephew wasn't much of a problem. Not until now.

At first it hadn't bothered you that your period was late, you had accepted the pcos lifestyle the hard way ever since you first got it. You would track down your period in hopes you could ever predict when it would come again but it always seemed to surprise you. Sometimes it would come in a months notice only to take four months to do a full circle. At twenty three, this was the most positive outturn as a resolution to your problem. Levi was pushing you to eat healthy and exercise to get a better grip of your situation, even though you knew it was in vain. And thus, overall it didn't bother you that you hadn't had your period still, fatigue and breast inflammation were also common problems due to hormonal abnormalities so you chose not to pay any attention to those early signs either.

What had driven you to urge Levi to drop you off to the drugstore next to Nanaba's house though was that you've been having symptoms of morning sickness for almost a week now, that you had tried to push aside for Levi not to notice. He would quarantine you on your on your own and go stay with Erwin and Hange had he any suspicion of you being down with the stomach flu. The stomach flu though didn't feel like that and you knew, you had been through it one too many times, this was something different and yet you cursed at yourself for overthinking it. You had bought the pregnancy test as something that was supposed to turn out negative, as a positive resolution that you weren't pregnant and that you should quest for whatever it was that was making your stomach turn and twist every morning.

Upon finally opening the door in an attempt not to delay Mike who wanted to attend his interview, the blond male inspected your form with a harsh gaze. "You shouldn't push yourself if you're sick. We could call my mother to watch over Eli and Blaire."

"No." You pushed it off. "I'm fine Mike, it's probably that weird mushroom soup I ate yesterday, Levi insisted on not buying it but I didn't listen."

"I see." Mike said scrunching his nose at the process. Sometimes you hated that he knew you so well that he could even smell you lying, but he was Nanaba's childhood friend before her mother married your father and had you; you had practically grown up with the blond duo so for all you knew, even if he was certainly aware that you were lying he didn't push things further. He simply placed a hand on your shoulder, the brother like nature of his touch as assuring as one can be. "If you need anything call me, I'll answer as soon as possible, drink lots of water and don't wear yourself down."

You bore your eyes into his and nodded simply. Mike greeted the twins with reluctance and let out a sigh before fixing his suit perfectly on his shoulders. The small kids smiled bubbly in return and waved at their father enthusiastically. As soon as the door closed and their father got out of sight both children jumped on you with loud giggles. The act alone was enough to curl your lips into an upward position.

By noon you had fed and lulled the kids to sleep, earning some significant time to sink into the crevices of the feathery soft sofa before Nanaba came back from her shift. As tiring as Eli and Blaire were you enjoyed their teeny company. You didn't mind their lack of ability to form full understandable sentences yet, you loved how they didn't even try to spare a second thought on what they bubbled on about and you did your best to provoke them to speak correctly. They would open their arms for you, their tiny palms signaling you to take them into long affectionate hugs as they called a baby spoken version of your nickname and you would melt at it every single time. Everyone knew you much you loved the chubby cheeked sweethearts, as much as it contrasted with your usual demeanor. There was something that truly made you feel like the best version of yourself when you were around them.

Babies seemed to be a hot topic in your group of friends for a couple of months now, ever since you started helping Nanaba in the house before Mike got fired. Levi seemed very unbothered by the subject in a way that saddened you almost; sure, you might have talked about it in the past, being that he was a little older than you and he might have understood that you longed to be a mother one day, but that was as far as that one conversation had gone. He still had that bored, stoic gaze that slipped off of yours when you would encounter a baby in the street, whereas you would basically make heart eyes and weird grimaces to any infant he would just click his tongue and avert his gaze away, to any other direction as if he disapproved off your fondness.

That memory alone left you hollowing inside as you recalled of the two very much pink lines on the screen of the test this morning. Naturally you would check with a doctor before jumping to conclusions, there still was a chance that the test was at fault and you wanted to bet on simply that. If the case was that you were actually pregnant though things were more complicated than you wanted them to be. For instance you were still in University, for your last year at that, but you had excessive amounts of studying to get your hands on your degree and Levi was cornered and ready to be squished by his job for being a vice president, which was unfair as he worked for Erwin. You understood the situation though as Erwin was struggling to keep the company going especially through these rough rough times. There was also the fact that you were terrified of Levi asking you to put the baby down, with pcos wearing your system down you were panicking that you wouldn't have a chance to conceive a baby later on. What if this was your only chance? You've always longed to be a mother so it didn't matter that it came to you this early right?

The sound of the front door clicking open shook you off your thoughts immediately. For better or for worse it was Nanaba that had finally returned, eager to strip herself of her clothes and face mask and run to the bathroom. She offered you small greeting to which you only nodded, your tired mind ordering your eyes to find comfort at small shapes in the ceiling. You didn't know how long your sister took in the bathroom, but judging by the lack of giggling coming from the babies' room you supposed it wasn't for long.

"You want to wait for Levi to come pick you up or should I give you a ride home when Mike's back? He should be home soon!" She spoke as she poured water in a red metallic boiler.

"I'll just walk. I need some air."

Nanaba emitted a soft hum in response "Are you alright? You seem off."

"Oh no." You brushed her off "I was just thinking about what I should wear at Erwin and Hange's anniversary dinner next week, and what gift to buy Levi now that his birthday is coming."

"Good, I see, just don't stress alright?"

___

The way home was longer than you had initially remembered, whether it was for your inability to walk with a steady pace or mostly because it was already getting dark and cold. You wondered if Levi would be getting home by now as you neared the apartment complex the two of you resided in. By the looks of your illuminated window he was already home as expected of him this certain hour. It probably was one of those days when he didn't have a strict deadline to attend to, which, under normal circumstances, only meant more cuddles and kisses for you. Yet, tonight was different.

"Hey Levs" Your voice lingered in his brain the moment you stepped inside.

"Hey brat, welcome home." The kiss you left on his cheek as you hurriedly headed to the bathroom was different, off almost, and he picked up on it immediately. "Did Nanaba drop you off? I had asked Mike to come by tonight, he said he'd bring some tea leaves he bought for me."

He leaned at the frame of the door as he watched you wash every crevice of your face thoroughly, paying enough attention to the insides of your outer nasal cavity. He was pretty meticulous about hygiene and especially at times like these with a hole pandemic going on he wasn't taking any chances, you knew, plus you were kind of disgusted of germs lately yourself, you thought you finally understood where he was coming from. He took a few steps ahead, away from your body in search of a clean face towel to hand out to you when you were done. You have it to him, even if he seemed cold as stone that domestic lifestyle was mesmerizing to you.

"Thanks baby, you're the best." You half smiled.

"You good?"

At this point you wondered if you seriously we're so easy to read. You supposed you were off, but you were always off and unresponsive to many things so what exactly was it about today that made everyone know you had a conflict in your mind.

"Yeah I'm just tired, I walked here."

Levi clicked his tongue at that "Nanaba's home is very far away from here, have a shower and I'll rub your legs and feet." With eyes that never left yours Levi watched as your face lit up a little more, he gave you a tiny of a smile on return.

"You prooomise Levs?" You knew teasing with him could only lead to one thing, yet you did it shamelessly.

"Tch, of course, hurry up, I'm making pancakes with eggs and bacon."

Normally at the very sound of this particular food your eyes would water and your mouth would drool but the unresponsive nature of your expression only sent a new wave of worry through Levi's chest. As much as he had wanted to convince himself you were just tired, he couldn't, not after this reaction to your favorite snack. He decided not to push you into saying anything you didn't want to though. Maybe it was that enormous amount of notes you had to memorize for your next exams in addition to your fatigue and any hormonal altercations.

"Yeah" you trailed off "babe, about that, can we have cocktail shrimp? And maybe fried rice and fries? Pretty pretty please?"

Ah, there it was. Although it was a rare occasion for you not to be in the mood of his infamous pancakes, you could still have a few different cravings from time to time. Levi let out a sigh of relief as he proceeded your order trying to figure of where he should order from, last night's mushroom soup had messed your stomach up, that he knew, but you seemed to be fine now so in theory that should be enough to prevent him from whining out his concerns.

As he closed the door to the bathroom he hummed his favorite tune to himself, softly enough as not to disturb you with your bath. He picked up his phone from the kitchen table with ease before collapsing on the couch, there was a limit to what his body could take and he had surpassed that by far these past few months. Endless deadlines that took turns one after another and extra hours at the office had been killing him, mentally and physically, making him a little more grumpy than usual. In great addition his back ached, his fingers were sore and his mind felt like canned alphabet soup every single night. Perhaps, seeing him in this state was taking a toll on you as well; you were always so protective over him, almost like a mother to her child, despite being younger, and he if he had to, he'd admit he enjoyed it a little too much than he should have.

When you came out of the bathroom he gazed over you briefly, you were sitting before the end of the dresser, standing in front of the full body mirror, examining your form. He seemed to be puzzled by your demeanor once again. Normally, or up until yesterday, you would have immediately shot out to where he was seated at to plough into his arms with wet hair, only to slightly irritate him for getting him wet, not that he didn't enjoy to smell your fresh scent anyway, but it was a game of routine for you by now. It was almost as if you were seeking to be scolded at for not rushing to dry your hair. He always wanted you as healthy as ever.

You couldn't shake off your head how soft Levi's chest is. There probably wasn't a reason as to why he's sleeping shirtless tonight, your apartment was very warm, given that it was the start of December already, but you didn't complain. The feeling of creamy, milky soft skin, perfectly excused by any coarse hair was slowly putting you to sleep. You loved how Levi was so soft everywhere you touched, it was so unlike what the world perceived of him, maybe your baby's skin was going to be as smooth and perfect as his and not as dry and oily as yours. Of course the baby's skin was going to be soft, ugh and those little arms and legs, you couldn't lie to your self, deep down you were just a tad excited to have a baby, if it meant that it would look like Levi you wouldn't want to give up on it for the world.

"Levi, does Kenny keep baby pictures of you?"

"What?" The onyx haired male raised a brow at your inquiry but didn't give you enough time to repeat yourself before he answered. "My mother had so many pictures of me so I guess that it's natural that he has some and well there probably are a few pictures from after my mother's death, I'm not that sure."

In response, he only earned a hum.

"Tch, can I lay on your chest? I want you to play with my hair." His eyes pleaded with you in the darkness. Of course you could never say no to such thing, you loved it even more when he was the one sleeping on you. Another sentence left his lips, this time with a yawn as he shifted himself on you, cooing like a small child. "I'll call Kenny tomorrow, sleep now I know you need it."

____

Under any other circumstance you would have loved seeing everyone's dumbfounded faces stating at you as if they had seen the dead rise from their graves. You had to pinch your arms to remind yourself this was indeed serious and you shouldn't let out a single chuckle.

"Please tell me you're joking" Nanaba pleaded, placing her hand on yours in disbelief.

"I'm going to screeeeeam! Shorty can't even hold it in, ghaaaa!"

"Hange he will hear you through the restroom."

Hange blinked her eyes rapidly at the sound of that. "You haven't told him?" She immediately seemed to lose her enthusiasm, something you hadn't intended to happen, especially at such a night, but you knew you didn't have a say in other people's emotions.

"Hange he never seemed too fond of the idea, why would I complicated things for him?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. There was no way in hell he was having this. You were practically his little sister, seeing you so tormented as you were in the moment when you spoke those words ravaged his last nerve, causing anger to clench his hands into fists. He watched as you took a small bite of your food giving the rest to Eli who was comfortably sitting on your lap, tapping his little hands on the rim of your plate. Other than the fact you broke out such news to him, Nanaba Hange and Erwin and had expressed your fears on informing your significant other, you seemed quite bubbly. Children really did bring out such a soft side of you, he knew that was for sure.

"Hange" you spoke, unphased as ever "Levi's coming please stop screaming at me, i love you but it's only making me dizzy."

It felt as if a thousand pairs of eyes were burning holes through his whole body, his head, and everywhere around his personal space bubble. Levi could feel his pulse tense just a tad, Hange's unnerving gaze and her crippling smile were fixated especially on him, making his nose itchy. There was something very different in the atmosphere around him; Nanaba wasn't eating anymore, she was more fixated on her daughter than anyone else, Erwin was nervously staring between him and you and you and Mike were trying to clean Eli's hands from the food he had just touched. When the scenery wasn't something irregular, none of you dared look eachother in the eyes, beat it that Hange was staring only at him.

"Oi, what the fuck is wrong-"

"Levi, shorty! Does Eli look like he's enjoying himself in (y/n)'s arms?" Hange turned her sweetened gaze on you, making you choke on your words, you shot her an atrociously strict glare. "Remember when Nanaba gave birth? What do you think about babies? Maybe you think they smell a lot? But what about ackerbabies?"

"Way to be discreet Han, thank you!" Your lips puckered in anger as you brought your arms to cross under your chest.

"Wait what's going on shitty glasses?"

"Yada Yada shorty, you're not getting a word from me, my lips are sealed" Hange spoke and shut her eyes to emphasize the significance of her words.

You sighed in a pathetic attempt to relieve some tention of your chest. A tight knot had formed due to anxiety, fog had clouded over your brain and you were feeling so faint and exhausted that you just wanted to get it over with. You didn't mind standing there like a fish out of water after breaking the news to him, the tention in the air was in fact what was making you suffocate in your seat. With wobbly hands you pushed Eli off your lap, not caring about the moan of disagreement he made and you shot up from your seat, announcing you had to take some fresh air. Levi had to stop Nanaba mid tracks to be able to come after you, fast enough to be there when you got out.

Naturally, you stood seated at a bench that neared the restaurant. Your hands were covering your face scratching softly through your hair, probably in attempts to calm your self down. He approached you without any second thought, this time determined to know what was it with you. Your behavior these past week had been unnerving and overly concerning to say the least. Carefully he sat himself down next to you, his right arm come around your frame comfortingly while the left one came to caress underneath your cheek.

"You should probably talk to me."

Your voice came muffled from between your palms as you still hadn't dared to look him in the eye. "Levi, I'm, I'm so sorry it's just... I'm very anxious."

"I think I figured that, brat." His voice was so soothing, it felt as if he was speaking to you in the comfort of your private room, not on a bench outside a semi fancy restaurant

"You know when Hange talked about ackerbabies she uhm, she might have had a particular baby in mind."

Levi blinked erratically for a single second before his mouth, unable to compel to his brain's orders, formed the shape of an oh. Of course, in the moment it was hard to click with any other even but he attributed that to his lack of knowledge over the situation. Had he any clue or suspicion that you could be pregnant he would have been able to realise that it wasn't that your stress had been messing with your stomach every morning and that your extreme fatigue couldn't possible align with the erratically swift rhythm of your palms. Of course, of course it wasn't a thermometer that you had disposed of in the toilet, he wanted to slap himself for being so naive as to believe that. He was strict with recycling rules, you wouldn't have just straight up there s thermometer in the trash. Fuck now's not the time to think about recycling.

With the soft, chaste kiss at the top of your hair you finally decided to turn your gaze to him. Watery eyes met with an adoring grey gaze, a gaze you've never seen at this extreme before. "I love you, you know." Another kiss meant your head got to lift a little more, just to get closer to him. "I don't say it often but you don't have to worry, I'll try to tell our kid more often."

Your eyes shimmered with adoration at his words, despite the cold weather you couldn't bring yourself to feel not even a little tingle, Levi was keeping you so warm with his words. "Really? You want this?"

"Tch why wouldn't I, you thought I'd ever let you go and leave me lonely? I've always thought you knew we're sharing the same future."

Your lips attacked his in fiery passion. It was a natural reaction to his words, an ice melting kiss, a promise for the future. There were many reasons as to why you lived Levi but maybe the fact that you would have a little stoic faced baby running around your feet made you love him a little bit more.

#aot #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #snk x reader #levi #aot x reader #shingeki no kyojin #levi ackerman #attack on titan #snk #Captain levi #modern au #levi x reader imagine #ahhhh brrr #wufff #daddy levi makes me go wuf #barkkk #eye-

[arhvste]

can i maybe request some comfort hq’s w any of your favorite boys (but maybe throw in some oikawa) when their s/o doesn’t get invited to hang out w her friends but like all her friends are hanging out and they didn’t invite her so she just has to watch them all have fun on social media and stuff? totally not speaking from experience haha.. take your time if you’re busy! i love your writing so much 🥺✨💘💖

hi bby i love u a lot <3 ✨🐉🦋

-

OIKAWA, BOKUTO AND TSUKISHIMA COMFORTING LEFT OUT S/O

-

OIKAWA

you’re minding your own business at home in your room scrolling through instagram when your heart sinks 

you see your friends have posted group photo they took today when they went out and failed to invite you

you felt silly being bothered by it but you couldn’t hep it 

friends are meant to invite each other out not leave individual members out

while you’re staring at the picture, you’re interrupted by a facetime call from your boyfriend

you answer and see his smiling face on your screen

“hi y/n-chan i- wHATS WRONG?!”

he sees you’re not smiling back and he immediately knows somethings up

“its nothing tooru, don’t worry”

you give him a little reassuring smile and he frowns a little 

so anyway you guys go about your call just talking as normal and you casually mention that your friends hung out without you

you can’t actually see oikawa’s face because he has you on pause and kept muting and unmuting by what you assumed was accident

rude

but you just assume he’s on his daily run because you can hear him doing so

you carry on telling him about how you’d been left out and just talking about it made you tear up a little

“i know it’s stupid, but i can't help but feel annoyed.”

as you’re explaining to tooru you hear a knock at your door

muttering a quick “hang on” to your boyfriend you go downstairs to see who’s at your door

you open the door to reveal your panting boyfriend with a bag containing, one of his favourite hoodies you like to borrow, his laptop, another bag of take out food and a bunch of sunflowers gripped under his arm

“sorry i took so long y/n-chan”

“tooru? what's all this?”

“as if im gonna let my pretty girl feel upset all by herself, come here”

he pulls you in for a tight hug and you let him inside where he unpacks the contents in the bags 

the fact he did all of this for you make you want to tear up again

and you do just that

he pulls you back into his chest and wraps his arms around you 

“what did i do to deserve you?”

“i should be asking you.”

you guys eat your take out, oikawa has a shower because he was lowkey sweating with all that running about, you pull on the jumper he brought round for you (he only took it back in the first place because you mentioned his smell wasn't as strong on it anymore)

you watch a few films before you both start to just lay there and cuddle

“come on, lets take cute photos!”

“why?”

“so we can show your stupid friends that you don’t need to be with them when you have me”

you guys take some immaculate pictures and upload them to your insta story where a ton of people are swiping up compliment how cute you both are

including a few of your friends who swooned over your boyfriend saying how they wished they had a boyfriend like tooru

oikawa looked at their messages and sneered

“ignore them it’ll piss them off”

he is so petty

but so are you fdshfghu

he’ll stay over for the night because he refuses to leave you until you’re totally over it

best boyfie

63/10 experience would die for this boy 😼

-

BOKUTO 

bokuto is actually the one who points out that your friends are hanging out without you

you two have just left grabbing breakfast together when he sees your group walking and laughing together across the street

“hey y/n? aren't they your friends?”

“huh?”

you turn to look and you wish you hadn't 

bokuto saw the drop in your face and suddenly felt sad too

“do you want me to say something?”

“don’t worry kou, it’s nothing”

you give him a weak smile and pull him back to your house

the walk back is quiet which is unusual for the two of you as usually you two never stop talking to each other 

when you get back home you turn away from your boyfriend and wipe a few stray tears that you’d been holding back the whole time

bokuto notices and grabs you shoulder and turns you to face him

“oh y/n please don’t cry! shall we make a blanket fort? do you want to go out somewhere? shall i get akaashi to come over and we can plot muder against your friends?”

the boy isn’t used to seeing you upset

he’s used to seeing you so happy and cheerful around him because he always does his best to make sure you’re comfortable 

you laugh dryly and smile at him

“no baby it’s fine, i just need to let it all out and i’ll be good”

he pulls you and and wraps his big arms around you as your sobs grow louder into his chest

“k-kou am i stupid for feeling like this? it’s not even that serious i just feel kinda betrayed they didn't even ask me you know? like this isn't even the first time -i”

you look up when you feel chest chest move and you sees HE’S got tears falling down his face too

“kou!! i know why i’m crying but why are YOU crying?”

“i-i don't know?? seeing you cry makes me cry??”

the two of you are laughing and sobbing together you forget why you were even sad in the first place

he picks you up bridal style and carried you over to the couch where the two of you proceed to just cuddle and enjoy each other’s presence

“hey, y/n you should hang with me and akaashi at lunch if you want”

“maybe...”

“come onnnn, if your so-called ‘friends’ don’t wanna hang with you, we most certainly do!”

he’s giving you his big toothy grin you can't say no to

“okay kou, i’ll start spending my lunches with you”

he doesn't even hide the fact he's excited lmao

“yES!! we get to spend even more time together now and everyones gonna see how cute we are together!”

bokuto just wants to make sure that wherever you are, he can make you smile and forget about all the bad things 

so the fact you agree to spend your lunchtimes with him makes him ecstatic now that he knows he can make it his mission everyday to make you smile more

he won't ever leave you alone when you’re sad so you spend the rest of your day playing on your switch and making tiktoks together

because bokuto will always want you to feel like you’re having fun with him because it’s your smile that first caught his attention before you started dating 

-

TSUKISHIMA

you and tsuki are at his house in his room together

both of you are going through your phones until your group chat starts spamming with photos and videos 

your notifications are going off like crazy and its driving tsukishima mental

“since when were you popular?”

you glare at him as you open the messages and your face drops 

your supposed friends were all sending videos and photos of each other into your group chat

they had all gone out and hadn't mentioned it to you

tsukishima glanced over to your phone and watched as you mindlessly tapped through the never ending stream of content 

“i don’t know why you surround yourself with such loser’s y/n, i’d be embarrassed to send videos of my friends screaming like babies”

this made you smile ever so slightly

you’re not a mean person

but there's something about tsukishima’s snarky comments which make you feel better about the situation

tsuki has obviously noticed you were bothered about not being invited but he won't tell you he knows because it may trigger you to get upset

instead he pulls your back into his chest as the two of you lay in his bed together as he rests one of his arms on your side and the other over your shoulder

instead of being overly comforting, tsuki will encourage you to tap through the group chat but he’ll make a snarky comments for each picture or video

“ew she really left the house with confidence looking like that?”

“why has the girl on the right done her make up like that? did they go out for a day at the circus or something?”

“you can see the people in the background literally cringing, i can feel the second hand embarrassment through the screen”

the two of you sit there for a while laughing and making snide comments 

tuski’s are way worse than yours because he literally doesn't know how to stop 

after you finish tapping through everything, you set your phone down and smile at your boyfriend 

“hey, thanks for that”

“for what? being myself”

“for making me laugh you idiot”

“i was being honest but okay then”

you’ll just lay there together in a comforting silence

“you know... you’re too good for them anyway, ditch them”

you hesitated before answering

“but, they're my friends? i can't just ditch them out of nowhere”

“they had no problem doing it to you”

harsh words 

but he’s right

they didn't have a problem ditching you so maybe tsuki was right

“i don't mind doing a bit of charity work and letting you be with me at school”

“oh? how considerate of my boyfriend, the one who’s meant to love and be there for me unconditionally! you’re too kind!”

you both snicker at this before he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head

“go on, leave the group chat... if you’re bad 😈”

he gets lowkey excited watching you leave it he’s got a stupid little evil smirk 

tsuki may seem like he enjoys conflict and malicious behaviour 

but really he just wants to make sure you’re kept away from people who clearly don't value or deserve you

‘their loss’ he thinks to himself as he pulls you closer

#oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa hcs #oikawa headcanons #bokuto koutaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto hcs #bokuto headcanons #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu hcs

[wistfulwatcher]

Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.

#ask #me #personal #i am so sorry this is a novel #i hope that it helps you even a little! #can you believe i can write about myself for 2 hours? embarrassing lmao #long post

[emmidqueso]

Do You Know Your Neighbors?

It was only midday, but the sun’s inescapable heat and glaring rays had already made the diner unbearable. It usually got hot around one or two, but today was supposed to be one of the hottest of the year. The Cook had a bandana tied around his forehead in a pathetic attempt to keep the sweat out of his eyes, but the waitresses had no choice but to wipe their foreheads with a spare napkin when they got the chance.

Well, it’s not like they didn’t have a lot of chances. At this time of year, most of the locals were out on vacation at the beach or a week-long tropical cruise. Sylvia was jealous of those who could go – her boss rarely let them take sick days, let alone vacations. Even when the tables were empty for hours, the bell on the door didn’t chime, and Cook stepped away from the grill because he had nothing to do. It was weird yet normal for the only cars in the lot to be Cook’s old Mustang that still shone like it was new and Sylvia’s beat up Ford. They’d listen to the second hand of the clock tick, the sound echoing against the linoleum, just to pass the time.

She didn’t know if the constant tick, tick, tick was better or worse than silence.

Jolene smiled weakly at her, noticing Sylvia’s blank stare and thinking she needed something (really, Sylvia had just been zoned out, feeling like she’d been in a trance from the hypnotic sound of the clock). “Sorry you gotta be here, hun. It’s just as dead as usual.”

“It’s fine,” Sylvia murmured. “It’s not your fault Boss thinks he’s God or something and needs to keep us in prison.”

Jolene chuckled at that – in the way someone laughs at you when they don’t find the joke all that funny. “God or summ’,” she repeated to herself, turning away to wipe some imagined dust off the counter.

Sylvia found herself watching as Jolene moved around the stools and bar. The latter was a curvy woman, probably what some would’ve called a ‘southern belle’ in her youth. Two kids and a husband who worked long hours wore her down, though, and her job was her only escape from that monotony. She often looked older than she was with the dark circles that colored under her eyes and the wrinkles forming around her lips. Despite that, she was almost certainly the peppiest member of the staff and subsequently got the best tips.

The bell chiming pulled her from her thoughts, and both waitresses turned toward the door, eyes flashing with curiosity and eyebrows raising in surprise.

A man stood next to the first booth, hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. He looked boyish, but he towered over Sylvia by at least a foot, thin and willowy. His blonde hair fell into his eyes, and it looked frizzy enough to indicate he probably had kept brushing it away and then given up. Once he noticed Sylvia’s eyes on him, he gave her a crooked grin and a little wave before tucking his hand back in his pocket.

“Can I help you?” Sylvia asked, putting on a bright smile and grabbing a menu from the counter. “We ain’t had many customers today, so we’ll have to brew a fresh pot of coffee if you’d like a cup.”

The man gave another toothy grin that stretched a bit too wide. “Aw, no ma’am, that’s alright. I’ll just take a water, please.”

“Comin’ right up. You can sit anywhere you’d like to, hun. We’re dead as can be.” Something about his smile had been off putting, sending a chill down her arms, but she kept up the cheery demeanor. Just ‘cause you don’t like him grinning like that don’t mean you slip up, Sylvie, she thought to herself.

“Thank you very much,” he answered, sweeping around to perch in the booth closest to the door.

Jolene had come back out from the kitchen where she’d been with Cook to see who Sylvia was speaking to. “Good mornin’ to you. What’s a young fella like you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?” Always the charmer, she could use that to snoop into everybody’s business when they came in – quite a talent, really. It made her a good gossip, which had both its perks and drawbacks for those she spoke to.

“Just passing through, ma’am.”

“Oh, no need for that. Just call me Jo.” She laid down a set of silverware and a handful of napkins, glancing up as Sylvia came back with a glass of ice water. “Got business in town?”

The man looked out the window, a not-quite-a-smile flashing across his lips. “You could say that.”

Jolene didn’t seem to notice his face. “Well, hun, a man like you’s gotta need a hearty meal, right? We’ve got a nice bacon cheeseburger meal, but if you’re looking for breakfast, I’m sure Cook wouldn’t mind grilling up some eggs for ya. What’s your name, hunny?”

“Randall Harrison, ma’am. That cheeseburger sounds real nice.” He ran a hand through his hair, most of it staying back but a few strands falling back into his face.

“You got it, hun. Jus’ yell if you need anything else.”

Sylvia followed Jolene back to the kitchen, the latter giving the ticket to Cook. “Don’t you think he’s a little young to be havin’ business? It’s a small town anyways, nobody wants to go there. Especially not this time of year.”

Jolene gave a chortle and nudged the younger woman with her shoulder. “Now don’t go all detective-y on the poor man.”

“It’s just a little weird to me,” she defended.

Jolene arched a brow at her. “Weird for somebody to wanna grab a bite in this heat?”

“I’m just saying—“

“For the love of all things holy, don’t go bugging ‘im.”

Sylvia stared at Jolene for a moment, waiting to see if she’d cave at all. When she didn’t, Sylvia finally answered, “Fine, I’ll leave it be.”

The pair looked over at Randall, who was now doodling on a napkin with a pen — who knows where he got the red ballpoint. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he glared down at his work.

“Go keep him company,” Jolene commanded. “He came out here lookin’ for a meal, not to be lonely.”

“Yes’m,” Sylvia grumbled in resignation, walking back to the booth.

Randall looked up as she approached. “What time is it?”

“Oh, it’s—“ a look toward the clock, the second hand still tick, tick, ticking— “11:36, hun. Somethin’ you’re waiting for?”

“Just a few more minutes, then.” He caught Sylvia’s eyes and grinned, but this time, the boyishness had disappeared from his face. The warmth of his smile didn’t reach his eyes, feeling forced and icy cold. A blink, and the look was gone, and he was back to doodling.

She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. “What kind of business do you got in town?”

“Why’s it matter?” he asked her.

She shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “Curiosity, I s’pose?”

He didn’t bother to look back up at her as he scribbled faster. “The important kind.”

“What does that mean?”

A deathly moment of silence ensued as he stared at her. It was a chilling kind of stare, the sort that makes somebody feel more like a mouse in an owl’s claws than a person. There was a knowing gleam to his eye, and though she was certain he couldn’t have heard the conversation from here, Sylvia felt that he knew what she’d said back in the kitchen. “You’re a bright girl, Sylvia,” Randall responded at last. “You’re suspicious of me, right? But your ditzy coworker there isn’t. Your cook probably isn’t, either. You wanna know why?”

Sylvia threw a look over her shoulder and searched for Jolene, wondering why the man’s food wasn’t out here already. Having someone out here, maybe he wouldn’t be saying such strange things. No dice, though — she couldn’t even hear her coworkers speaking to each other.

“Do you want to know why?” he asked again, more insistent.

“Yes?” she stuttered, hesitating before meeting his gaze once more.

He smirked. “Check what time it is again.”

“11:36.” Wait, still?

“Something about that doesn’t feel natural, does it?”

She jerked up from the seat, an invisible weight settling on her chest. “No, the clock is just… It’s just broken.”

“It always ticks. How else do you pass the time but to listen? This is the first time it’s been silent, isn’t it, Sylvia? Is the silence nice?” Randall taunted.

The waitress shook her head. “No, it has to be broken. That’s all.” I don’t care how weird it is, the clock is just broken. That’s how things go, they break. It’s not its fault for bad timing. It’s just a coincidence.

He stood up to face her, his height so much more than hers, making her feel scared and small and insignificant. “What more proof do you need? Do you want the sun to go dark? Locusts to swarm the windows? Do you want me to turn the water in the faucets to blood? Would you rather that I don red horns and fiery robes to prove to you who I am?”

A look at her hands showed her how badly she was shaking, tears welling up behind her eyes and knees shuddering against each other. “You’re insane. Demons don’t really exist, you’re just a person.”

Randall leaned in, an icy cool hand roughly grabbing her chin to yank her gaze to meet his. “You poor thing, telling yourself lies to make yourself feel better.”

“If you’re really a demon, why are you here?”

“To deliver justice.” His eyes seemed to flash red, and though Sylvia didn’t believe him, she didn’t think that she imagined the shift in color. “Do you know how awful the people in that small little town next door are? Liars, thieves, whores, murderers. The whole bunch of them. Men taking advantage of women for fun, teens getting high on the strong stuff, people in power begging for cash they don’t need, spouses with double lives. Why that town attracts those folks, I can’t say, but it does. A little haven where no one looks twice and everyone pretends they know nothing. I think it’s time that the lot finds out what karma waits for them, don’t you think?”

She was frozen in her slip ons, but Sylvia managed to gasp, “You’re lying to me. I know my neighbors, and none of them are what you’re saying.”

“Then you don’t really know them, girl. You’re one of the few innocents, but even Jolene and Cook aren’t. Have you ever met Jolene’s husband? She killed him last year in a rage before burying his body in the backyard. Have you wondered how Cook has such a nice house on the salary this place has? His brother is a drug lord, and in return for recommending his brother to any drug addict he comes across, he gets a good cut of it. Even your boss is an asshole - working you to death and further, all so he can take the profits and pay you barely enough to survive.” He finally released her chin, pushing her into a chair and just watching as she landed on its seat. “You’re blind to it all, but it’s time you figured it out.”

Sylvia watched as the man stalked back to where Jolene and Cook were, as she found herself glued to the chair and unable to even call out their names. Through the order window, she could finally see them, frozen in place by the stove mid conversation. Jolene’s mouth was open in what looked like a laugh, and Cook had a spatula still grasped in his palm as he went to flip a burger.

Randall reached them and reached a hand towards each, the air suddenly static around him. Two fingers touched both Cook’s and Jolene’s foreheads, and it was like the light and life was sucked from them. Both went limp but still stood, their eyes losing their shine and falling shut. Their skin dulled and hair lost its volume as Randall drew his hands away.

Finally, Sylvia was able to find her words, air rushing down her throat as if her chest was a vacuum. “What the fuck?” she yelled.

He quickly returned to her, standing solemnly over her. “I’m sparing you, Sylvia. You’ll find a good amount of cash in your accounts, and no one will ask questions. You go find somewhere else to be and a better job. Forget about this place and this day, and you’ll be just fine. Don’t do anything wrong, and you’ll never see me again.”

“Did you just kill them?!”

“I’m not going to kill you, so does it matter?”

“You killed them!”

Randall glared at her before turning towards the door. “Take my advice, Sylvia. You’re a smart girl. Do better.”

Her body shook so hard that the chair legs were clacking against the linoleum floor. “You just fucking killed my friends in front of me!”

With a sigh, he turned back around and touched two fingers to Sylvia’s forehead. The air was crackling again with static but subtler. “This isn’t your death. I keep my promises. You just need to relax and think straight.”

Her vision began to swim, then go dark. She swayed sideways before falling to the floor with a crack. Pain lanced through her head, a small cry leaking from her throat. She refused to succumb to the darkness, though, and kept her eyes trained on Randall’s figure moving towards the door.

What she didn’t expect, just as the darkness consumed her — horns seemed to sprout from his head and curl around his ears, bat-like wings sprung from his shoulder blades, and fire outlined each step as he lifted his foot from the floor.

He isn’t a demon, is he — he’s the Devil himself.

The door slammed behind him, and finally the clock began to tick, tick, tick again.

[junghosunshine]

Shut In

pairing: Kim Taehyung X reader

word count: 4k+

summary: Without a place to stay after you are kicked out of your dorm amidst the Coronavirus outbreak, you have no choice but to stay with Kim Taehyung (the son of one of your moms friends whom you have never met). You worry that it will be awkward but you are pleasantly surprised by the bond you end up forming with the overly welcoming man.

warnings: Smut, Fluff, overprotective, slightly dom!tae, mentions of covid19 and quarantine, age gap (5 years), unprotected sex (please use protection guys) 

notes: This was written to calm me down while being stuck in my house in no way am I trying to offend anyone. Please go easy on me i’m sensitive :)

_______________________________________________________________________

You should probably be thankful that you have somewhere to stay during quarantine but at this particular moment you were dreading the next few weeks.

“Mom, why can’t I just stay in a hotel?” You asked over the phone. You knew you were being irrational and that this was much better than paying a hundred dollars a night (even if you would feel much more comfortable). Ever since your classes had been canceled, you had been living in the dorms at your college but they had begun to kick students out. Going to school overseas seemed like such a fun idea, and it probably would have been, but because you were in another country during the corona virus outbreak, there was no way you could get home especially with the travel restrictions. You had called your mom sobbing, worried that you would be homeless through the pandemic in a country you barely knew. Luckily, within an hour your mom had reached out to one of her friends who had a son living in Seoul and you suddenly had a place to stay. “Mom, that is going to be so weird. I don’t know him and now I’m going to live with him. Alone. For who knows how long?!”

“Y/N, I’m not paying money for you to stay in a hotel when there is a perfectly good, free place for you to stay. This is the only option.”

You gave in knowing your arguments were useless against this woman. You just wanted to go home and see your family and to be honest you were scared at how big this whole thing had become.

“Okay. Stay safe mom. Love you.”

“I love you too sweetie. Be careful and make sure you thank Taehyung for giving up his space.”

After you hung up with your mom you felt a bit empty. This much change in only a few days was a lot to take in and processing it all was near impossible. ‘Its going to be okay’ you told yourself.Your had mom told you that Taehyung was 24 and she had seen him a few times when he had just been born but didn’t know much about him other than that he apparently worked as a graphic designer for a popular art company. She had gone to college with his mom and they had been very close until mom moved to the US after college. Regardless of your mom’s connection, it felt awkward to be moving into some complete stranger’s space.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Pulling up the email your mom had sent you, you found the address to Taehyung’s house and his phone number. Sighing, you forced yourself to send him a text to let him know you were coming to his place.

To: XXX-XXX-XXXX

iMessage: Hi, this is Y/N… my mom just sent me your address. I should be there in about an hour. Thanks for letting me stay with you.

You put your phone back in your pocket and gathered you bags. Struggling to stand upright you wobbled out of your dorm and made your way to the subway.

Thanks to the virus the subway was not crowded and you had a place to rest all of your stuff. Once you sat down your phone vibrated and you pulled it out to see a response from Taehyung.

iMessage: Y/N, it is my pleasure! My mom told me to treat you well since you are her best friend’s daughter. Ill see you soon!

He was sweet. You felt yourself relax a bit. Maybe it wouldn’t be as awkward as you had thought it would be. You certainly hoped you were right otherwise this was going to be the most uncomfortable period of time you have ever experienced.

Once you were off the subway you lugged your bags up to the street level. Looking around your confidence wavered a bit. You had only been living in Korea for the last few months for college and while you went out a lot but you rarely ventured outside of the college area. The fact that there was no one outside made it even harder because you couldn’t ask anyone for directions. Oh no, there was no way you were going to find his building. You typed the address into Maps and attempted to both hold all of your stuff and navigate.

You were having very little luck and you were afraid your phone was going to die if you continued like this. As you stopped to calm yourself down, your phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Oh hi, is this Taehyung?”

“Yeah, Im just calling to make sure you’re okay. You said you’d be here in an hour two hours ago and my mom would kill me if anything happened to you.”

“Oh… Uh…” As much as you didn’t want to cry you couldn’t help yourself. It had been a long few days and the fact that you couldn’t even navigate was infuriating. “Im a little lost.” You managed to say through tears.

“Are there any restaurants or stores near you?” He asked. Looking around you found you were next to a pet store.

“There is pet store near me and I’m right across from a park.”

You heard shuffling from his end of the line. “Okay,” He said finally. “Wait there I’m coming to get you.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

Exhausted, you sank to the ground and rested your head on your knees. It was embarrassing that Taehyung had to go out of his way to find you before you had even met him. He probably thought you were incompetent. And it was even worse that there was an outbreak going on.

Only a few minutes had passed when a black Hyundai pulled up next to you. A guy got out and walked toward you.

“Y/N?” You looked up at him as he came to a stop above you. You nodded and embarrassed yourself by pouting a little. Something you did at home when you were sad or angry. You noticed immediately how striking he was with dark hair that fell into his eyes. He was distractingly handsome and as you stood up, you noticed, very tall as well. Taehyung smiled warmly and reached for your bags. “Go sit in the car, i'll load these in the back.” You complied grateful that he didn’t seem upset with you. He loaded your bags into the trunk and returned to the drivers seat.

“Im Tae by the way.” You took his extended hand.

“I am so sorry for inconveniencing you like this especially now. I promise i’ll make it up to you. I’m not usually this helpless.” Taehyung chuckled. “No problem. I’m glad I had an excuse to go out one last time before the lockdown.” You blushed at his kindness and were relieved when he began to drive.

Taehyung’s apartment was very clean and well decorated. You could immediately tell he was into art as his walls were covered in it. It was an open concept and the living room was only separated from the kitchen by a large kitchen island. He led you across the flat to a door on the far side, opening it to a small bedroom. It looked as if it had never been used and it smelled very clean. There was a large window overlooking the city and you gasped at how pretty it was.

“I’m glad I finally have someone here to use the guest bedroom. It was getting kinda lonely here.” It was shocking how welcoming he was considering you were dumped on him at the last possible moment.

“Thank you so much.” You walked in and he helped place your bags on the bed before leaving you to unpack.

That night, He made you dinner. It was so odd since it had been months since you’d eaten like a normal human. College life was certainly not luxurious. He waited for you to take the first bite and hum with pleasure before he was satisfied enough to eat.

“So, you were attending college here.”  He said. You nodded. “Yeah I’m in my second year at Yonsei. Er- was.”

“This virus is kinda fucking things up isn’t it?”

“Yeah, Im kinda pissed off that I can’t even see my family during it.” Taehyung nodded. “Well I’m lucky that you are keeping me company right now.” You coughed and he watched amusedly as you tried to cover up your awkwardness by taking a sip of water.

“How old are you?” He asked you. “Nineteen.” You replied. He smiled a secret smile before taking another bite of his food.

“Thank you so much for dinner.” You said when you had both finished. He shrugged like it was nothing. “Im happy to do it.”

You tried to help him with dishes but he insisted that you get some rest after your long day.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Usually you woke up around seven the morning so that you could get started on the day but with nothing to do, it seemed a bit unnecessary. Still, your internal clock was hard to reset so despite your empty schedule, you were up. You assumed that Taehyung was probably asleep so you made your way into the kitchen and put on some hot water for tea. This was a ritual of yours. That you had been taught by your mother.

Unconsciously you began humming and you didn’t notice that Taehyung had exited his bedroom or that he was standing shirtless at the kitchen island smiling as he watched you work. You looked cute with your little shorts and oversized t-shirt he was going to have a hard time not thinking about that all day. Turning, you let out a yelp when you saw him, spilling hot tea on your had and causing the mug to break on the ground.

Taehyung immediately rushed over to you and grabbed your wrist before you could pick up any of the pieces of ceramic. “Are you hurt?” The way he looked at you with so much concern made your cheeks flush.

“No, I’m fine, I just got a little surprised.” He chuckled and continued to hold your wrist “Sorry, I didn’t want to disturb you, you looked like you were meditating.”

You tried to pick up the pieces again but he stoped you. “I’ll get it, let’s treat your burn first.” He led you to the bathroom and sat you. on the edge of the tub. Rummaging through the medicine cabinet he found some gauze. You cringed a bit. “Taehyung, it’s not that serious, it’s just a little red that’s all.” Taehyung shook his head. “Better to be safe than sorry. Give me your hand.” You were a bit too happy to have him hold your hand as he ran it under cold water. He was so careful and the way he touched you made you want him to never stop. He dried your hand before wrapping it with gauze, clearly pleased with his work. “There!” He smiled. “Good as new.”

“Thank you.” You laughed and the two of you locked eyes. With him looking at you, you suddenly became hyper aware of his bare chest. He wasn’t super buff but he was lean and toned. He looked very strong and it was hard to look away but you made yourself.

For the next few days, you continued to get up early and make tea, careful not to drop it again.

It was getting really fucking hard for Taehyung to not look at you. It seemed like the only thing you owned were little shorts and huge ass t-shirts. Every time he saw you he wanted to push you against a wall and destroy you. Taehyung had take showers very frequently because of you.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Quarantine was not the most fun and besides meal time, you and Taehyung had not interacted very much. He was very sweet and funny but you were too shy to ask him to hang out.

He must have been going stir crazy too because eventually there was a knock on your door.

“Come in.” You said. Taehyung slowly opened the door. He was wearing sweats and a dark blue sweatshirt. It was annoying that he looked good in even the lumpiest clothes.

“Hey, Im really fucking bored out here can you come watch a movie with me.”

“Sure.” You followed him out to the living room “What movie?” “Im not sure.” He said sitting down. “What do you like to watch?”

You shrugged, to be honest you. Weren’t really a movie person. You. Spent a lot of time listening to music and reading but movies weren’t something you did too often. Being away from your family was making you a bit nostalgic and you recalled movies you watched with them.

“When I was little I really liked Howls Moving Castle.” Taehyung raised an eyebrow at you. “Out of every movie you want to watch a cartoon?” He asked.

“What?!” You giggled. “Howl was like my dream guy when I was younger.” You looked at him as earnestly as you could. “Please can we watch it. I really want to now.” He sighed dramatically but didn’t object.

Once it started you were immediately spellbound. You had forgotten how beautiful Miyazaki movies were. At one point without thinking you said “Howl kind of reminds me of you.” Taehyung looked at you but you were too entranced to notice. His eyes roamed the curves of your face and made their way down your neck, to your shoulder which was bare as your huge shirt slipped off of it. He cleared his throat and returned to watching the movie. There was no way he would let himself think about you. That wasn’t fair to you at all.

Yo had forgotten how sad and intense Miyazaki movies got and you hated when there was conflict in stories. A couple of times you reached out for tae’s arm and he let you. He hated how much he liked the feeling that you needed him there. After your fourth time grabbing onto him, He took your hand and laced his fingers through yours. He watched you register this and look at him. Your eyes were so big and innocent. God, he wanted to ruin you. You smiled at him and continued to watch the rest of the movie. He stopped himself from doing anything stupid. He couldn’t help but be a little disappointed when the film was over and you released his hand. “Thanks for watching with me.” He said. You nodded “Thanks for letting me choose the movie, I forgot how much I loved it.”

There was a silence as he looked at you in the now dark living room. You let him allowing yourself to observe him as well.

“Y/N.” Taehyung’s gaze was filled with a sudden intensity. It scared you a little.

“Yes?” Taehyung pulled you into his arms and buried his head in your hair breathing you in. “I would be so goddamn lonely if you weren’t here.” He said his voice a bit muffled. You were taken aback by his sudden affection that it took you a moment to return it. You gently wrapped your arms around his neck. He smelled so good it was hard for you to think about letting go. Lucky for you Taehyung didn’t. He stayed like that for a long time, so long that you fell asleep and then he fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up still wrapped around each other. He was observing you when you opened your eyes and grinned when he noticed you had woken up.

“Good morning.” You felt a bit awkward that you had ended up in this situation.

“Morning.” You replied avoiding is stare. Taehyung only released you when he was worried you’d be able to feel him. When you finally untangled your limbs from his, he rushed to the shower.

——————————————————————————————————————————

You had started to notice the Tae had become very touchy with you. Not that you were complaining, you loved it. You were definitely starting to develop a crush on him and as much as you hated to admit it you were definitely flirting with him. If you were cooking he would find ways to pass behind you and touch your waist. At the dinner table he began to sit next to you and would knock his knee against yours. He’d even started to put his arm around you when you watched movies which had become a very frequent thing. Regardless of how much you enjoyed his touches you decided not to put too much weight behind it. Tae was like an older brother and in this short time you had been living together, he looked after you. You refused to get his affection confused with attraction.

“Hey, my mom just sent an old picture of her and your mom in college.” Tae called from the living room. You ran out to see jumping on the couch next to him and looking over his shoulder.  You immediately recognize your mom which made you miss her a lot. The woman next to her in the picture looked like she had just stepped off a runway, you could see where Tae had gotten his good looks.

“Wow, She’s beautiful you look so much like her.” You said. He leaned back into your lab and looked up at you grinning. “Y/N, are you calling me beautiful?” You choked on the air. “No! Um, er- you are beautiful, but- I wasn’t..” Tae turned towards you and poked your nose. “You’re so cute.” You felt yourself turn completely red.

“Im not cute.” You mumbled, punching him in the shoulder.

“You are ridiculously cute. It’s almost too much.” You found yourself pouting again and you crossed your arms. Reached up and pulled your face towards him. “See? Thats cute. If you keep doing that I’m not going to be able to stop myself from doing bad things to you.”

You found yourself at a loss for words. Tae rand is thumb over your bottom lip before laughing. Anger overwhelmed you. “You’re an asshole!” You shoved him away from you. He continued to laugh “Oh yeah? Am I?” He tickled your side and you shrieked jumping off the couch and running away from him. He chased you around the apartment and when he caught up to you he threw you over his shoulder. “Tae!” You giggled. He threw you onto the couch and plopped down next to you. “Don’t deny who you are.”

“Shut up.”

——————————————————————————————————————————

Tae picked the movie tonight. It was the notebook and apparently he was a huge fan of Rachel McAdams. You didn’t blame him, she was very pretty but you did feel weirdly jealous. You noticed he didn’t put his arm around you like he normally did which kinda disappointed you. You wondered if he was mad at you which made it hard for you relax. You sat with your arms wrapped around your legs. In your head you started to go through everything you had done during the day that could have upset him but you weren’t finding anything he had seemed happy all day which is why it was weird that he wasn’t acting like he usually did. You were about to start crying until you felt him touching your thigh. He looked like he didn’t know he was doing it as he continued to watch the movie.You couldn’t focus at all, his touches felt so good and you closed your eyes accidentally sighing with pleasure. You felt his hand travel closer to the line of your shorts until they ghosted over your core. Taken aback you looked at tae, worried that he was unaware of what he was doing but he was looking right at you now, his eyes full of something dark and wild. He pulled you closer to him and applied more pressure which made you moan more and you leaned your head against his chest. His other hand caressed your head. “You are so pretty.” He mumbled. “You have no idea how much I want to ruin you.” As he rubbed harder you could feel yourself building up to something you bit your lip and felt your hips roll against his hand. “Do you like that?” Taehyung asked

“Mhmn.” Was the most you could say. “Do you want to come?” You nodded but tae wasn’t satisfied. “I asked if you want to come.” He said.

“Yes! I want to come!” You shouted and almost instantly you felt yourself reach the edge. He continued to move his hand against you as you shook. “Oh my god.”You exhaled. Once you came down from your high you couldn’t bare to look at him and kept your head buried in his shirt. He kissed your hair and then your forehead, your eyes cheeks, nose, before making his way to your lips. It was soft and too brief you almost felt like it hadn’t happened. But he didn’t offer anything more. He got off the couch and walked to the bathroom. You heard him start the shower and you fell asleep before he opened the door again.

——————————————————————————————————————————

It had been three days since whatever happened between you two had happened. You weren’t sure what to call it just as much as you weren’t sure what it meant. You were so confused and too afraid to ask him. Tae seemed just as goofy as he always was which was a relief though he didn’t touch you as much. In fact you had tried to hug him earlier and you could swear you saw him flinch. This was infuriating! He was the one who has initiated the whole thing and now he wasn’t even going to acknowledge it. There was no way you were letting him get away with this. If he was going to make you mad then you were going to mess with him.

“Hey Y/N I’m bored come play cards with me.”

You were sitting in your room reading. You smiled to yourself as you ignored his request.

“Y/N?” Again no response. You. Could hear him walking to your room. He stood in the doorway looking at you.

“Y/N, did you hear me?” You put on your most innocent face before looking at him. “No, did you call me?” He scratched his head clearly confused before sighing. “No, never mind.” You stuck your tongue out at him when he walked away.

When he made dinner that night you told him you had already eaten. “When?” He asked. You shrugged, “I had some crackers earlier and I’m full.”  You could tell that he was getting frustrated. But he still didn’t ask you what was going on.

You didn’t watch a movie that night but you hadn’t in three days so it wasn’t that weird. When  He closed his bedroom door you waited an hour before leaving your room and slipping into his. He was definitely asleep when you got under the covers. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and you were pleased when he moved to wrap his arms around you groaning into you.

——————————————————————————————————————————

In the morning he was not in the room and the door was opened. You got up and found him at the island waiting for you. You liked the way he looked in the morning his har disheveled hid voice incredibly deep.

“Y/N.” He spoke. You shivered at the way he said it. He was angry and it was very hot.

“Tae.” You responded. He shook his head at you and you went on pretending to be oblivious.

“Can you make me pancakes?” You asked sweetly. “‘Im, hungry.” You opened one of the cabinets and got a glass for water. Before you could open the fridge Tae moved grabbed you and pushed you against the counter placing a hand on either side of you.

“Y/N, why are you doing this to me?” Although you were a bit shocked you forced yourself to continue the act. “Doing what Tae, I just asked for pancakes.” Then he actually growled, leaning his head onto your shoulder. You felt blood rush to your core you were so turned on. “Goddamn it, Y/N. I keep convincing myself that this is a bad idea but you keep doing things that make me want to teach you a lesson.”

“Then teach me.” You say. He lifted his head from your shoulder and looked into your eyes. The darkness had returned and his eyes seemed heavy as he looked down at your lips. Suddenly he was devouring you. This kiss was nothing like the ghost one from before. This one felt like he was trying to suck all of the life out of you. And it was working. Your knees went weak and you had to hold onto his shoulders to help yourself stay upright. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and you moaned into him. He tasted so good and just as you felt like he was giving himself to you he pulled away. You whined. “Y/N, tell me what you want.” You rolled your eyes and he gripped your face with his hands. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.” He kissed you smiling against your mouth. “Where do you want me?”

“Everywhere.” You moved his hands to your breasts and he quickly lifted up your shirt to reveal your breasts.

“Holy fuck I can’t believe you slept next to me like this.” He moved his mouth down your neck before latching onto you nipple and sucking hard.

“Oh my god.” You ran your fingers though his hair. Tae slipped his fingers down to the waistline of your shorts and you let him pull them down along with your underwear. “Such a pretty little cunt.” He said before slapping it making you gasp. He turned you around and licked your folds your eyes rolling back. He began to suck on your clit and you lost it. “Fuck, oh my god! Yes!” Without warning tae pushed you to the ground and stood up you could see the bulge that had formed in his sweats. He placed your hand over it and rolled his head back while you massaged it. Then he pulled down his sweats to reveal a very large very erect cock. You swallowed and looked up at him. ‘Fuck, Y/N you have no idea how pure you look. I can’t wait to fucking ruin you.” Grabbing onto your hair he pushed his dick into your mouth. “Good girl.” He said gently. Tae watched as you tried not to choke on him. “You're doing so good.” He began to buck his hips into you and you gagged on him getting saliva all over his length. When you almost couldn’t take it he pulled out and picked you up placing you on the counter.

“Are you ready for me baby?” He asked and you nodded. He didn’t move. “I need an answer.”

“Yes, Please fuck me.” You beg. And then the pushed into you stretching you out so much you stoped breathing for a second. But as he pulled out you immediately wanted him back inside. Tae grabbed your neck. “I want you to look at me when I’m fucking you.” He pounded into you and when he thrusted at just the right angle your eyes started to water but you kept looking at him. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N. I’ve thought about this so much and you are even tighter than I expected.” The lack of oxygen was heightening your pleasure and you started to feel your orgasm coming on. “Im going to come!” You screamed. He pounded into you harder. “Not yet baby, Not until I say so.” You bit your lip in an effort to hold it back but your vision blurred and there was no stopping it. Tae kept thrusting as you rode it out and as you squeezed around him he reached his climax. He pulled out and his juices poured out of you. He wrapped his arms around you and hugged you for a long time. After some time he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and pulled you inside. As the water ran he took your face in his hards and kissed you softly. He kissed your shoulders and your breasts. He knelt kissing your stomach, thighs, knees and feet. You grabbed his face and pulled him back up into your lips. He felt safe and secure. You let him wash your body and he let you wash his. Finally he stepped out of the shower and dried off before opening the bathroom door.

“Where are you going?” You asked him.

“To make you pancakes.”

#bts #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts smut #bts fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #Jung HoSeok #park jimin #jeon jungkook #bts fic #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts drabble

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 18

AO3

Beta reader is @thesnadger!

Communication is established.

Martin has a job to do.

After months of near constant solitude and a week of above-average social interaction, Martin had to deal with an unhappy middle: Peter, with no warning or pattern, would appear at the lighthouse at whatever time seemed to suit his fancy. Bright and early one day, late lunch the next, twice already on Thursday, all for reasons Martin couldn’t wonder aloud at for fear of seeming too curious.

No alone time meant no poking his nose around. Not that he was supposed to, keeping his head down and all that, but sitting around wasn’t doing his nerves any favors.

It was easy to imagine Peter hiring someone to tail him home, so Martin never dared to take a new path or turn for that whole week. When he got home he stayed home. When he got to work he stayed at work. And when he walked in either direction he most certainly never took the sharp turn toward the Fairchild home, no matter how intensely curious he got.

So, once the group text was actually formed early in the next week (Tim: it was a promise not a threat!), Martin had taken part in the first of many nearly identical conversations. They boiled down to:

Martin: peters been weird, cant predict when he’ll be around

Sasha: we’re still pretty locked up, will let you know if things change

Jon: Elias has been elusive but I’m working on it.

Tim: can’t keep us busy forever

Besides some scattered thoughts and jokes primarily from Tim that got Martin through the more tedious aspects of the work day, the messages were all vague statements telling him “soon, we promise” and random tidbits from him of Peter being weird. The whirlwind of progress from the week prior was over. Waiting and sitting on his hands was all Martin had left.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Jon had a lot more to say over phone calls than text. That much was clear by Tuesday night as Jon called to elaborate on his frustrations with Elias and continue other topics they’d discussed the conversion prior. The burden of starting the call and coming up with a topic was blessedly off Martin's shoulders, and it made the idea of regular conversations seem more possible.

While it was a relief to still talk to someone at length, Martin knew he would run out of things to say before long. He had no stories from the university he never attended, and Jon had been witness to Martin’s strangest place of work. The more he could deflect personal questions and get Jon to talk about himself, the longer it would take for Martin to be revealed as... well. Dull.

Still, he hoped that Jon would call again soon. If Martin was around for it.

It was Thursday. Peter had been around twice already with no warning. It was getting to be mid-afternoon and he still had a duty to perform. That part of his contract hadn’t changed.

Martin groaned into his desk. It wasn’t fair to have his most mindless and daydream-conducive task twisted into something horrifying. Some little part of him hoped that Sasha’s reasoning from the week before would hold some water, that his knowledge of what was coming would somehow keep him aware of his surroundings.

There was one way to find out, as much as it made his stomach squirm, and the thought of doing so with Peter around was enough to propel Martin out of his chair and toward the cleaning closet.

He began to mop the main floor with a fervor. If Sasha was right and he managed to avoid getting sucked into a wall, Peter absolutely could not witness it. He would have to move fast, even if it scared the shit out of him. And really, was it so scary? It wasn’t something he remembered, and it never hurt him. Probably. He would at least feel pain if something had happened, right?

He had always been fine. A bit sore from lugging things up the stairs, but otherwise nothing had harmed him as far as he knew. What was he afraid of? A person that could watch him as he went about his work in a haze? Or the wall refusing to release him after he entered, trapping him without ever releasing his mind from-

Oh, no, his heart was racing, his hands shaking more by the second. Swallowing had become more difficult, dry throat and a tongue that felt three times too big. Martin walked toward the stairs, trying to keep water level in the mop bucket. The water level was the only evidence that he’d lost time, and he wasn’t going to do this without something to show for it.

Letting out a breath that sent shivers down his arms, Martin placed the mop down and took out his phone.

Martin: so im going upstairs now? to do the mop thing?

Martin: gonna try and use an old analog tape recorder like you all said. any final thoughts would be appreciated

He waited, growing more concerned by the second that he would get no answer, but finally someone responded.

Jon: Sounds like you’re all set. Be sure to send a message here once you’ve gotten back out again, or if you don’t go in at all.

Tim: yeah any situation where your feet are on solid ground really

Jon: You said before that Peter was around. Is it safe to assume he’s left?

Martin: ok will do. he’s not here now so im getting it over with so he wont see anything weird

Jon: Okay, good luck and let us know when you’re out.

Martin: thanks

Sasha: if things start to seem off, retreat back downstairs and call us immediately

Tim: ^^^

Martin: okay, talk to you all soon

Before Martin pocketed his phone, he saw Tim leaving a string of thumbs-up and broom emojis, and as he began up the stairs the occasional vibration in his pocket revealed that something was happening past his goodbye. It wouldn’t be good for the recording if he kept it on like that, but he had no intention of silencing the phone or the people on the other end. He clicked on the tape recorder, placed it in his pocket, and began his climb.

The bucket and mop were as unwieldy as ever, and for not the first time he thought about how nice an elevator would be for his knees before shaking his head. This was a time for focus. Drifting thoughts were a one-way ticket to lost time in a much more literal sense than usual.

He was walking up a rather repetitive staircase, but every once in a while there would be an imperfection that reminded him of where he was in space. A crack here, some chipped paint there. Looking around there were plenty of place markers. His feet were on stairs that were the same as they always were.

About a quarter of the way up, this method began to make his stomach flip. Once, he looked too far ahead, too much up. So he kept his eyes down. He’d been keeping to the inside of the stairs, but his gaze drifted too far and oh, no, another spiral leading down which was worse.

This building, he thought, didn’t appreciate him looking too hard. Fine. He could stay present without a visual anchor. There was still buzzing coming from his pocket, thought less often than before. At least they were still around. If anything happened, they would know quickly and be able to do something. Sure, he hadn’t seen them solve any problems yet, but there was enough confidence between the three of them that they had to have some level of competence.

Martin looked down at the bucket in his hand and held back a scream.

Instead, he hissed at the thing, “When?! We aren’t even halfway up! I let myself think for two seconds and- oh, dammit!” He dug into his pocket for the tape recorder, but it was nowhere to be found.

Martin turned toward the wall, any fear being quickly replaced by petty indignation. “Hey! I paid for that! You can’t just- as if you even need to pick my pockets when you’re a big, stupid voice recorder all on your own!”

Besides the echo of his own voice bouncing up and away from him (mocking him, probably) nothing bothered to respond. He had half a mind to toss the bucket and mop down the stairs for the sake of his aching arms, but he resumed his walk with a quickened pace. If Peter hadn’t come back yet, and it didn’t sound like he had, Martin would do something while he had the time.

At the top of the stairs, Martin opened up the group chat just long enough to type one message.

Martin: lighthouse stole my tape recorder

Then he stuffed the mobile away and made a beeline for the horrible machine he’d been faced with every day that week. His phone buzzed with incoming messages, the motion in his pocket slowly becoming more of a reassurance.

First, he took the time to look at it as a whole. The back couldn’t be reached with it pressed up against the inner wall. Did it make sense for it to be put there? Unsurprisingly, when he’d finally looked up how lighthouses were supposed to work, the panel itself was nowhere to be found as part of the process. What a surprise!

When he’d started the new order of button pushing that past Friday, he’d tried to listen for the mechanisms behind it, but he didn’t know enough about normal mechanics let alone whatever this was to make any judgments. He’d cursed himself then for not paying attention and asking more questions at the start, but there was no helping it.

Really, the fact that he’d been hired at all should’ve been a dead giveaway.

The dial that had once allowed Evan to speak was entirely cut out from the process, a disconnected thing that gave no feedback after being twisted. Did that mean the entire cause was lost? Or had its function been moved to another piece, or a series of pieces-

“Ah, Martin, thought I might find you up here.”

Martin was going to die.

It was a thought that came unbidden, the only clear thing in his head as he turned to find Peter Lukas climbing the last stair without a sound coming from his less than newly polished leather shoes. The soles should’ve made a clicking sound.

Peter looked at him and smiled. “Scared you, didn’t I? Always been told I have quiet feet.”

“Yeah, you did. Wasn’t very nice.” He couldn’t keep the slight shake out of his voice. His hand reached out and grasped the mop’s hand.

“Not for you maybe, but the look on your face is very funny.” The smile grew just a little more cheerful.

“Sure. Well, I’m-”

“Cleaning, right,” Peter said, pressing a hand to his forehead as if remembering something. “Glad to see the last smudges from them wiped away, if I’m honest. More people, more mess for you to clean up later.”

“I suppose, yeah. Need to clean anyway, though.” To emphasize his point, Martin began to clean the floor around and away from the panel. “Did you…”

“Oh, no, nothing really. Just wanted to check in a bit more after all the... disruption from before. And to make you jump a little. Need to make my own fun, sometimes. The week has been dreadful, Martin.”

And you’re spreading the feeling around. “Hm,” Martin replied, as dismissive and uninterested as he could muster.

Martin could hear the smile in Peter’s voice and knew he’d failed to dampen the man’s strange energy. “Yes, well, I’ll be off. When-” And then Peter was interrupted by a prolonged buzzing in Martin’s pocket. “Need to answer that?”

Shrugging, Martin continued to mop and kept his eyes to the ground. “Weird spam call, probably. Mum wouldn’t call my mobile.”

“Mm, good answer. Company time and all that.” With an odd stretching motion, Peter glanced out the window. “Oh, and what were you doing when I came up?”

“Stretches,” Martin replied abruptly. He coughed and evened out his voice. “The walk up is terrible.”

“And that’s why I have you do it for me!” Peter’s laugh came out rough and strangely quiet, a noise that settled under Martin’s skin. The old man’s face twisted into an unreadable smile, something that underneath the mirth felt like a taunt. “But enough of that. Don’t know if I’ll be back again today. And keep that thing quiet if you’re not expecting work calls. Nothing worse than being contacted from anywhere in the world at any time, truly.” The smile seemed to sink into a genuine, almost childlike frown, and Peter slinked back down the stairs without another sound.

After about five minutes of mopping, Martin released the hand and collapsed on the couch. Stupid, stupid, of course he would come right as he was about to fiddle with things.

The prolonged vibrations had ceased some minutes ago, and Martin finally opened the group chat to see what he’d missed. There were several messages from earlier in which Tim and the others had continued to chat. Then his message and general confusion and concern which Martin had expected. Finally, a missed call from Sasha, followed by a text.

Sasha: do we need to get over there?

Blinking, Martin considered the message. Was that an option?

Martin: no everything is over

Martin: peter came in, had to lie about it being a spam call

Jon: of course he did

Sasha: well, call when you think it’s safe

Tim: and maybe check your pockets

Immediately, Martin patted himself down, though nothing seemed amiss. His phone was of course still on him, and there was nothing new.

Martin: everything else is the same. the lighthouse wasnt nice enough to trade something for my tape recorder

Tim: :(

Jon: Sasha is right. We’ll do better if we talk over the phone later when you’re sure to be out of Lukas’ sight. Keep inventory of your things and call us when you can.

Hesitating for a moment, Martin looked down at the winding stairs.

Martin: if you had to get here how long would it take

Sasha: about two hours if i’m driving

Martin: right

Martin: okay. ill call you soon

--

The same conclusion was made as before, only moreso. Martin would keep his head down with exactly zero poking around. The lockscreen of his mobile would show no notifications to mitigate the risk of eavesdropping (what if his phone was stolen by his evil workplace?), and unless there was some sort of emergency no messages or calls were to be made during his work hours.

Peter certainly knew something was going on. There was no point in pretending otherwise. Martin would have to hope they were both committed to playacting their routine for as long as the others needed to get back and do something.

The thought dug a pit in his stomach. Pretending that everything was exactly the way it had been was just... being alone for most of the day. He’d enjoyed receiving random messages at work and the sudden movement in his pocket that meant someone was around. It was a normal thing for people, texting when they’re supposed to be working. Pity he’d mucked it up so fast.

Long after he’d prepared for sleep, Martin sat on his bed with mobile in hand. His contact list was so short that he didn’t even need to scroll to find Jon’s name. It was right under an old manager he’d never deleted from his contacts.

His thumb twitched over the call button. He wasn’t going to do it, but it was a nice thought. They’d already spoken at length today, with everyone showing enough concern that Martin had needed the alone time afterwards to breath.

That being said, enough time had passed for him to be itching for any conversation he could get, and he wanted to talk to Jon because he still didn’t quite get Sasha, and conversation with Tim tended to run short because Martin didn’t know how to keep things going after he’d dumped all of his grievances on the guy the week prior.

And he liked talking to Jon. And maybe it was because Martin understood a topic Jon cared deeply about, but Jon seemed to like talking to Martin, too.

There was no call that night, and he was out 20 pounds for that tape recorder from the resale shop.

#tma #the magnus archives #breathe in the salt #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #sasha james #timothy stoker #peter lukas #jonmartin #fanfic #au fanfic #selkie au