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fridayasteroid · 2 years

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NIKI - AUTUMN

Niki's new album is out! Actually, its been a while since it was out but I only just had the time to write about it now.

She said that this album was her true voice, Nicole Zevanya's voice, and I gotta admit that its true. The album is full of slow indie ballad pop songs back from her YouTube days, that I once really loved to the point when she changed her genre I was so disappointed.

So, when this album came out I was so excited and I literally cried in happiness that I could hear the lost songs again (cuz she deleted her YouTube account). This album, from my point of view, is filled with the story of a toxic relationship. So at some point it really hurts so bad listening to the album.

About Autumn

This is one of the songs that she had on her YouTube days. You could say that all her songs from YouTube has gone through improvements from Niki's point of view, but personally I think that most of them are much better in the original form. Autumn in the other hand, was actually much better in the new version.

Title

This song has no words about Autumn or contains the word Autumn in it. I really love when artists do this, the title itself is a metaphor, but can portray what the song's truly about. Its full of overthinking thoughts, anger, heartache, and sadness that there's no straight forward words that could cover what she's experiencing, it has to be a metaphor.

From what I feel and understand by hearing this song, I think I could understand a bit as to why she specifically picked "Autumn" for the title.

"Autumn" is the season after spring and summer, also before winter. Spring for many people brings joy and happiness, fruits are ripe and flowers bloom. Summer all the same, it brings closeness to people, most people like to hang out and do things outdoors together. Whereas winter, is where people feel cold and sometimes depressed, there's no sunlight that could give warmth to people.

From that, we could say that she's trying to portray that her relationship is none of the above but closer to winter, autumn. The coldness hanged in the air, its still beautiful in a way but everything's starting to die.

The melody

I gotta say the new version could really portray all those feelings melodically. Its kind of up beat with its drums (I don't know what its called), giving that sense of anger but hurt, but her way of singing it in slow rhythm and with a soft voice portrays her love, disappointment and sadness.

In the old version of Autumn, the rhythm was off, and it couldn't fully portray all the feelings.

Not that I'm an expert on music, just from a perspective of a listener.

My Interpretation of The Lyrics

I carved my name into your ribcage We talked of lands away from this cage You said, don’t fret love, someday ill be my own man I'll be free Oohhh Oh but darling did you mean Darling, did you mean free from me?

I don't know about you, but man, these are very well written lyrics.

"I carved my name into your ribcage," metaphorically, ribcage means the heart of romance, a nest that we are familiar with, but its metaphor has another meaning, a cage of love that we need to escape from (that has a continuity in the next line.)

Another meaning could be that she 'enforces' herself to say that the mans ribcage is hers. Since if we look at Adam and Eves story, Eve was made from Adam's ribcage.

The next line is a bit tricky, I'm still a bit confused and might be very wrong in my interpretation. "We talked about lands away from this cage," when experiencing young love, we tend to want to break free from the bonds that kept us from being together, family, money, etc. People with young love really likes to fantasize the future together, their in the heart of romance after all.

The next line tells us what the man said to her. he's giving him assurance of the future that they'll be together when he's a 'free' man, meaning able to make money for himself and be the leader of his own family so he could do whatever he wants.

But after that, we could see that this relationship isn't what it seems, its kind of toxic. Its like they know that there's something wrong with the relationship that he implicitly talks to her in a way so that the she understands the true meaning, and its like their enemies in a sense, he 'hits' her, and she 'caught' him 'hitting.' That's why she has doubts with him.

In this scene, she caught up with his implicit words, that he wants to be free from this relationship and far away from her.

You promised home The kind I've never known Oh oh-oh But here we are Skin and flesh and beating hearts and I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong

These lyrics follows the interpretation before, in a relationship we always seek home in it. But that's where it gets interesting. A relationship is supposed to be a home, but seeing as though they both can't feel that it is, means that their relationship isn't healthy. But they're too 'comfortable' with each other to admit that, so they dreamt of a home with a sense that they'll get it after all the hurdles and bonds they'd have to face, or specifically he feels that way, whereas she feels that this is a home for her.

In the 4th and 5th line, solidify that the relationship is filled with 'battles' to beat hearts and maybe physically too(?)

"I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong" makes it more clear that she is the one that wants to fight for the relationship.

You said Let's make ourselves our very own brigade This love our shield, our blade Oh but darling do you see The cuts from which I bleed? It’s me you’ve slain

He continues with the promises to reassure her doubts of him, that one day they'll make their own family, and protect it with our love. Protecting can mean to shield off enemies but also slay the enemies, having the terms 'shield' and 'blade' tells us how Niki really thought of this.

Enemies here is like what I said previously, the bonds, whether its family, age, money, etc. Its like the whole world is against their relationship when he says it like this.

In the line, "the cuts from which I bleed?" tells us whats going inside her mind, what she wanted to say but can't (since theres no words of 'said' like how Niki put it with him). She feels that the love he gives actually hurts her deeply or in fact tortured her, to the point where she wanted to die, slain means to violently kill.

I didn’t obliterate these walls for you to come and raid my home And here you are right next to me Ironically, I've never felt more alone

Here she's at the point of anger and disappointment and maybe sadness. Everyone has a weak side that they keep inside themselves, and because technically we are our own home, we all try to protect it. A home is a place where you are safe. Here she says that she allowed him to go inside by putting down the protection.

But not only did she feel that he attacked her weakness, she also felt that he couldn't support or complete her weakness, so with that expectation not met, she felt more alone than when she was alone (not with him).

I fell for you Faster than I fell apart And I guess I'm the one to blame For letting myself fall too hard I ripped my heart out and put it in your hands In hope that we’d put up a fight Mmmmm How paradoxical, since now all I can think about is When will we stop trying Ehhhhh

I think its the nature of human beings, saying goodbye is always harder, change is always harder especially when their painful. But here, its like she's saying it in a regretful way. That she really regretted for having to fall in love with him.

Her expectations for him to protect her heart and fight for the relationship isn't given to her. The fact that she wants this relationship to work but seeing how it comes to this, she wants it to end, and that continuing his way of 'fighting' is a torture to her. Maybe gaslighting, empty promises, and such.

Ohhhh oohhhh How do we stay afloat When do I let go-oh-oh?

But here, in a sense, its like she still loves him, even though the relationship is dying or drowning, she still wants to make it work. Or it could be that 'afloat' means alive, figuratively since this relationship is killing them. This is supported by "when do I let go" as to her knowing she has to let go or it could mean that she doesn't want to let go yet so she asks that question to herself.

Either way, its still unclear to what she wants. I think that's the point of a toxic relationship, we experience so many positive and negative emotions and actions that we don't know what we want anymore. Here, I feel that she's kind of sad to the situation that she's in.

All you do is blindside me, its hard to be brave But when the night cut into the day It's your love I crave I must’ve thanked my lucky stars too much They left me sitting in too much dust Mmmmmmm You know all my dreams You were one, so it seemed And I love you but with you It's heartache I breathe You showed me your heart but You never let me have the key Ohhhhh

"All you do is blindside me, its hard to be brave" really explains the situation of gaslighting very well. When faced with gaslighting, the victim is taken aback, either don't know when they'll be 'attacked' or they don't know how to respond to that because of how it makes them feel or how their answer could hurt them. So because of this, a person who is being gaslighted won't have the courage to fight for themselves. Here, I could really feel that she's so hurt and angry.

The next line supports the interpretation that she's being gaslighted. The feeling of still wanting him moreover when its at night when people tend to overthink. Here, conversely, I feel like she's more angry at herself for still loving him.

The next lines are hard to interpret, I dunno. I think she feels that this is a consequence of being too happy, "thanked my lucky stars too much," that in a sense comes a bigger sadness and pain because of it. I dunno, but the image I'm getting is that because she thanked the stars so much, they shook themselves and gave her loads of stardust, it seems beautiful at first but dust is just dust, and she got buried in them.

The next line about dreams. I feel like she's sad, angry and pitying the situation of him not having any empathy of her dreams especially the ones about/with him.

"And I love you, but with you, its heartache I breathe." man this is deep. The way she sang it... You could feel that she's so hurt, man I can't find the right words, its like she's being gentle but it has so much depth of hurt and sadness. It really portrays that staying with him is a torture, but she loves him, and its a pity that it is torture.

"You showed me your heart, but you never let me have the key." At some point, these type of toxic people just wants someone that depends on them so they never really open up and they give false assurance. He never really wanted to be with her but wants her to stay and be dependent, so he never gave her his weakness and does gaslighting.

Oh, my love Is this the end for us? Maybe we’ve had enough

I feel like we could tell from these last lyrics that the relationship isn't over yet. She's in the phase of giving up or the relationship is in the phase of burning down. But from her asking "is this the end for us?" is like saying that she still have a glimpse of hope for the relationship, because maybe is still a maybe.

#NIKI #nicole zefanya #niki zefanya #Nicole lyrics #nicole album #autumn lyrics #autumn niki #meaning of autumn #niki autumn #niki 88rising #88rising #interpret lyrics #lyric analysis #song lyrics #sad songs #Spotify

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year

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BPP, have you hated a song at first listen before but then tried to listen to it again and you ended up liking it?

Cuz that’s what happened to me with PTD. I remember listening to it when it dropped with a kind of grimace? on my face and refusing to listen to it again right after. My brain didn’t like how it sounded at all. But when the members performed it live, I really loved it, especially when they first did it at PTD concerts. I really grew to appreciate how happy it makes you feel. And the concert variation has so many interesting elements to it compared to the recorded version too. It sounds so fresh and peppy. I think I just didn’t like the autotune? and how it made them sound so flat to me. Now I’m going through it with Dreamer too but I don’t think it’s cuz of autotune since I think Jungkook sounds okay in it. I didn’t like it at first listen but I’ll give it a chance with the live performance once twitter ARMYs clips it.

Ask 2: i have a lovehate relationship with your blog. i thought you were full of yourself and a bit annoying when you didn't reply to my ask on jk performing at the world cup.. i felt like you told me to shut up and be quiet by not replying me even when i explained everything the whole controversy you just said everybody should do what they want like you didn't care about jk. sorry for saying that i now see your point.

Hi Anon(s),

Anon 1, your experience with PTD is almost exactly like mine. I also found PTD too sweet, too sugary in an artificial way, the first time I heard it. But I really liked the song played live in concert. You sent this ask to me a long while ago Anon, so I wonder if Dreamers did in fact grow on you.

Personally, Dreamers just isn't a song that can grow on me. The potential of that happening is already maxed out and I'm still indifferent. My mom is a huge fan of the song though, and obsessed with one particular tiktok edit of JK singing the song lol. Apparently, he's her bias now.

...

This is a bit of a personal tidbit, but my mom usually does not care for k-pop or anything related to BTS. But for the last few weeks she's expressed strong pride in her heritage and always mentioned BTS in the same sentence. To see Jungkook singing the opening song at the World Cup, to seeing Korea's team advance into the tournament... I'm not sure if my followers are keeping up with news out of Korea but a lot of fucked up shit is happening right now. Korea's participation and profile at the World Cup unexpectedly turned out to be one of the few bright spots lately. I personally did not have a strong opinion one way or the other about Jungkook performing at the World Cup, and I still don't. Like I guessed, many of the people up in arms about him performing there still watched the world cup and hyped it in one way or other, or they did nothing actually towards the cause they appeared so passionate about. And while that's not necessarily wrong, it's lame. My opinion on the underlying issues is that many of those issues are rampant in Korea, and we can all compartmentalize for this, but somehow never for brown cultures, generally speaking. And again that's not wrong per se, but it's inconsistent. And lame.

As the boys mature and get into other ventures, it's very possible they'll do things and/or collaborate with people we disagree with for whatever reason. And each time the fandom will react the way it has always done: each individual will do what they want. Just as they did during this World Cup. So Anon 2, I just thought to cut the bullshit and get to the crux of it for all the panicky asks I was getting about JK performing at the World Cup. I felt that outside a handful of people who truly care, most of the anxiety around JK performing was performative, and that eventually people will do what they actually want to, which is get on with whatever is happening which at the time will be watching the World Cup. And that's what happened.

#bts #dreamers

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the-firebird69 · 6 days

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Castles Live @ Abbey Road #shorts

He said I lost my family lots of them in my friends and I clean might be up there but we got to get this fixed for you and Santa and we'll find your bo. And she didn't believe him but what he said before horrified her and said this for Mac over there in Germany and it's for people like me and I have to carry it all the way to the end I guess she was horrified by that and she said I found my castle and then she said there are other people who before and later he said is the clan around still and she said I don't know and she thinks that they're gone so that would be why you're out front but other people are not so lucky and she got angry and said this is going to get out and it's going out now we're talking about rulership castles and how people who were ruling might be put back in them by the max and they mean the French and the Chinese and some who are gifted but most of them will be gone and you'll be surrounded by normal people and she looks normal lots of times because they're doing it and it's because the clans gone and they're going to have her do the job I can't believe it this is very rude okay

Hera

And we said the top part but we're going to print

Thor Freya

He's speaking to me in the top part and it's kind of horrible this is hell but he's smart and he figured it out and I'm doing a big chunk of it he says right now and it's true and we have a game plan now

Freya Ridings

I can breathe again no this is much worse he's going to be in my house no they're going to rebuild it into what it was and put the block on it from Disney world that's wonderful so guess what

Trump

Hahaha you figured out why they enclose the building scaffolding yeah LOL hahaha boy are you a deep s*** boy are you d****** try and hang on to it you dumb a****** LOL Zues he's never going to do it and he showed an image of trump with his hand on the building for a few seconds and he says it can't it's kind of the size of it Hera

This f****** blows so bad I can't believe this it's hilarious at the same time cuz this kid is burning through it he's got like a time limit and he's real sharp and people are helping him he's controlling asking them riding his bike around like he's the cheese I cannot believe how rude that says what he says is give me a joke they don't want you to is what are you saying and I wasn't listening and now I probably have to

Bob borghetti you saying it's like driving that stupid little pickup truck with three of them three people in the front seat full of machines and I'm off the road with with my hands off the wheel they're kind of yelling at me we are off the road do a remake of the castle song as a man because it's so terrible yeah that's great

Olympus

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noyaism · 3 years

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No Manners

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: enemies/rivals to lovers, public sex, hate sex, heavy degrading, edging, choking, overstim, teasing, size kink, power dynamics, sir!Tsukki, dacryphilia, humiliation, spanking, slapping, exhibitionism, sadism, masochism, dumbification, creampie, this shit is pure filth (let me know if I missed any warnings!)

Song Inspo: No Manners - Superm

If there was anything you prided yourself on, it was being the smartest person in any given room you walked into. School had always come so easily to you, no subject too hard, no concept you wouldn't understand. That was, until you got to college. University was a beast unto its own, and it showed you that maybe the genius you had always believed you possessed could indeed be threatened.

While you found yourself at the top at almost every single class you took, your economics class was your Achilles heel. It irked you how the information just didn’t seem to mesh with you. It made you feel so inferior, and that wasn’t something you were used to. It also wasn’t something Tsukishima Kei was used to, however, thanks to you he was feeling a new sense of inferiority that was completely foreign to him. He, like you, was used to being at the top of his class, nobody coming close to him academically. Then, he got to university, and unfortunately for him you two shared a major, and took the exact same classes. It was odd enough in the first semester, and when it ended he was so glad to finally get away from you, and to regain his status.

Then the second semester came and once again, you both signed up for the exact same classes. This time was different, though, because finally, Tsukishima held something over you; you couldn’t understand economics to save your life, and it came to Tsukishima as easily as everything else did.

Understandably, the two of you had developed a bit of a rivalry. It would come around every so often that Tsukki did better than you on a test, scored higher in a lab, and it drove you insane how he would rub it in, so when you did better than him, you did the same. The two of you were starting to hate each other’s guts. However, you were on the verge of failing your economics class, and there wasn’t going to be anyone better to help you study than Tsukishima. When you asked him to help you study he straight up laughed in your face, entertained by the fact you were actually coming to him for help. It was such a stroke to his ego, he couldn’t possibly say no.

You two scheduled a study session for the following Friday evening. You met in one of the study rooms up on the third floor around five, intending to stay for a couple hours. Tsukishima had arrived a little early, as you walked in you saw him with his notebook and laptop out on the table, writing down some notes. You took a seat next to him, getting yourself ready to begin. As he attempted to explain all these concepts to you; rambling on about monopolies and price ceilings and deficits, none of it was clicking. You asked him to explain things time and time again, and he was getting visibly irritated the more you seemed to not be getting things.

“You agreed to help me study, Tsukishima. You can't go on and complain now that I don’t get it, you knew I didn't.”

“Yeah, I got that part, but I wasn’t expecting you to be this utterly dense.”

You folded your arms across your chest, letting out a small huff under your breath.

“You're such a dick.” You muttered, not thinking much of the remark. It was an unequivocal fact that anyone who ever came in contact with him had to know, which you yourself already knew quite well, but you hadn't expected him to be this bad personally. You thought since you were undoubtedly better at him in any other subject you would at least be spared of his ill mannered remarks, but it seemed to be the opposite; he'd get on you because you were so much better at him in everything else. It was the one thing he held over you, and he was going to make the absolute most of it.

“What did you call me?” He asked, snapping his head in your direction.

“I called you a dick, because you are. I get it, okay? I don’t understand the material, it’s above my intelligence level, I’m the dumbest bitch in the world. Cool, fine, awesome. If tutoring me is that much of a pain I’ll just go, alright? Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Utterly fed up, you tossed all of your things into your backpack and got up from your seat, starting to storm away. Tsukishima watched you as you went for the door, only momentarily, before getting up and following behind you. You barely got the door unlocked and open before a forceful push of a hand from above shut it, and you turned and looked up at the man, confused as to what it was he was doing.

“We aren’t done studying.”

“Yes we are. I can’t take your shit anymore, I’m done.”

“No, we’re gonna stay here and work on this until you get it,” He lowered himself down to make more direct eye contact with you.

“Got me?” He finished, once the two of you were level. You let out a chuckle, shaking your head a bit. This situation was unbelievable, and he was totally impossible. You weren’t sure how much clearer you could possibly get, but you had no problem reiterating yourself.

“No, I don’t. Makes sense that I don’t, right? ‘Cuz I’m ‘utterly dense’, as you said.”

“And incredibly mouthy, apparently.”

“Only when dealing with assholes like you.” Tsukishima let out a chuckle of his own after that line, straightening himself up and looking down on you once again. You hated when he did that, but it wasn’t like he had much choice, he towered over your much smaller frame. It personified your current situation almost too well.

“You know, someone should put little girls like you in their place.” He fairly quickly retorted.

“And someone should knock tall elitists like you down a peg.” You scoffed.

“I’d love to see you try.” Tsukishima took a couple steps back from you after speaking, as if to quite literally challenge you to do something. You weren’t a violent person to say the least, but at that moment you would’ve paid good money to punch the man before you in the face, and it seemed you were going to get the opportunity for free. How could you possibly pass that up?

You dropped your backpack onto the floor, lurching forward at Tsukishima before it even hit the floor. To your utter surprise he caught you before you got too close, his hand wrapped around your neck. It was nowhere near a tight grip, but it left you breathless, and forced you to look up at the blonde. There was this smirk on his face, like you had done exactly what he wanted you to, like he now had you in the palm of his hand. The look in his eye was so devilish, nobody had ever looked at you like that. You almost didn’t know what to make of it, almost.

“Now now, dumb little whores like you don’t get to touch me.” The pure filth that fell from his lips confirmed exactly what you rationalized from his gaze. It was all you needed.

“Fuck me, now.”

Tsukishima needed no further instruction, moving his hand off your throat and down to your thigh, pulling your leg up and prompting you to wrap yourself around him. He caught you midway through your small jump, and in an instant your lips crashed together. You couldn’t shake just how angry he made you, and he couldn’t shake how sexy you looked when you were mad. That little body of yours held so much aggression in it, and since he was more than willing to let out the beast in you, Tsukki was just as willing to tame it.

In fact, he would take great pleasure in doing so.

Tsukki walked back over to the table you two were sat at, placing you down onto the cold, manicured wood. The exchange of your lips was filled to the brim in the most carnal, lustful intent. The two of you fought for dominance with it, neither of you having even the slightest intention of backing down. Tsukishima was already more than frustrated with you, and your attempts to gain control of the situation weren't helping.

With a swift move he pulled away from the kiss and brought a hand around your neck once again, this time giving it a fairly decent grip. His face looked so calm, like this was nothing he hadn't done before, but his actions told a completely different story. How he managed to keep his expression so composed while taking full control of you made a shiver run down your spine, and the heat between your thighs grow exponentially.

“Listen; I’m the one in charge here, y/n. What makes you think a tiny, powerless slut like you could ever even attempt to control someone so much bigger, so much stronger than them, hm?”

“I-I dunno…” You stuttered out, much to Tsukishima’s liking.

“You don’t know, that's exactly what I thought. Well then, let me teach you where your place is.” While his left hand maintained its place around your throat, his right hand snaked up your thigh and under your skirt, his fingers ghosting over your clothed sex. The faint contact made you whine, you couldn't stand how badly you needed him to touch you. Your eyes pleaded for him to do something, and he basked in the glory of making you so weak so quickly. He then obliged, rubbing small, slow circles onto your clit.

“Your place is right here; being dominated by me. You will feel pleasure only when I allow you to. You will cum only when I allow you to. You will be obedient, and you’ll love every second of it. Am I understood?”

You nodded your head with what free range of motion you had, your hips bucking in the direction of his fingers, trying to gain more pleasure in the only way you currently could.

“Use your words, and address me only as sir.” He instructed, moving his fingers away from you. It was bad enough his moves were teasing at best, but denying you of any contact completely was infinitely worse.

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

Tsukishima let go of your throat, using both hands to undress you, leaving you in nothing but your panties, which were horribly stained with your eagerness. It stroked his ego immensely, looking at the girl who plagued his mind, who made him feel so inferior so many times, naked in front of him, so ready to be ravaged by him. So exposed, so pathetic, but so undeniably sexy.

He pulled up a chair, taking a seat in between your legs. His fingers danced over the skin of your inner thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You felt so needy all you could do was whine, not a single beg or plead coming from you. He hooked a finger onto the side of your panties, pulling them over to get a good look at you. Your pussy glistened under the fluorescent lights, coated in wetness you had never experienced before. It was like a work of art for Tsukki, who took a minute to admire the piece before he pulled your underwear off of you entirely.

He took his left thumb and ran it down the length of your sex, dipping between your folds before coming back up to your clit, finally starting to please you again. A moan slipped from between your lips, filling the quiet of the room. Tsukishima brought two fingers from his opposite hand up to your lips, and without needing instruction you allowed them entry. Your tongue swirled around his digits, a slight hum ringing from your throat as your oral fixation was satisfied.

His fingers left your mouth with a small pop, and they were brought down to your core. They prodded at your entrance, teasing you by the anticipation of entry. You wanted it, wanted it so bad it was much more a need, and at that point you weren’t too proud to beg for it. Just as your lips parted Tsukishima pushed them into you, a whine coming from you instead. You fell back onto the table, your back arching off the wood as his fingers worked wonders unknown on you. With an upward curl he brushed up against your g-spot, your hips bucking upward in response. The pads of his fingers massaged the rough patch of flesh momentarily, making your legs shake as helpless little curses fell from your lips.

As he began pumping his fingers again he also sped up the rate at which his thumb circled your clit, and it became quite clear to Tsukki that your orgasm was approaching, and was doing so fast. You could feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter, it was almost unbearable. You heard his voice say something, but your head was spinning you could barely make it out.

“Answer me, slut. I’m not repeating myself.” Was all you could make out, but considering you didn’t know the question, it was an impossible feat. Just as your orgasm was about to arrive Tsukishima removed his fingers from you, his thumb ceased all movement, and you were left with a ruined orgasm and your hips bucking into the air.

“You’re not cumming until you can answer one of my questions correctly. That should be good enough incentive for a stupid, needy little bitch like you, right?” You propped yourself up on your arms, looking at Tsukishima in utter bewilderment. You couldn’t believe what he was saying, or that he was going to make you answer questions in order to cum, but you had to admit he wasn’t wrong. It was a pretty good incentive.

“Y-yes sir.”

With a quick smirk Tsukki sank his head down between your thighs, his tongue dipping into your pussy, savoring your delectably sweet taste. His his hands held the backs of your thighs, giving himself unrestricted access to your sex. His tongue flicked over your clit every so often before lapping up your juices again, until he finally gave the bud uninterrupted attention. His lips latched around it, starting to suck as his fingers entered you once more. Your back arched sharply, and your hands moved to tangle into his hair, tugging on the blonde strands. Before you could even process what it was you had done, Tsukishima was hovering above you, slapping your cheek before taking a rough hold of your chin.

“I told you not to touch me, did I not?” You nodded your head frantically,

“You d-did, sir. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you will be. Off the table.”

You followed your instructions, and as soon as your feet hit the ground Tsukishima pulled you onto your knees, and held your chin in his hand once again, forcing you to look up at him.

“I don't think I need to tell you what to do here, do I?” You shook your head lightly, your eyes full of wonder as you looked at him.

“No, sir.”

“Good, then show me that you're actually good at something.”

You shimmied in between Tsukishima’s legs, frantic hands fiddling with his belt as you tried to get his pants off as quickly as possible. You didn't know what was causing you to be so eager, but something in you urged you to act as quickly as possible. As you pulled his pants and boxers down his erection sprang free, the pure size of him catching you off guard. You were no inexperienced woman, this wasn't your first time seeing a penis, but you had yet to deal with anyone of his size. It was a bit intimidating, if you were to be completely honest.

As you were told, you weren't allowed to actually touch him. You presumed if you used your hands at all it wasn't going to end well for you, but to that you could fairly easily oldige. You licked a long stripe from the base of his length up to his tip, your tongue pressing along a vein that ran that same course. You circled his tip before sucking on it, letting out a satisfied moan around him as his precum leaked out onto your tastebuds.

You started to take him further into your mouth, each bob of your head adding another inch until you had all of him. Your eyes watered as you felt him in the back of your throat, and you gasped as you came up for air. Tsukishima looked down at you, smirking as he saw a tear run down your cheek.

“You should do more of that.”

“More of what?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion.

“Crying for me.”

Tsukki took hold of your hair, forcing his cock into your mouth and once again making you take the entirety of him. He held you there, letting out a groan as you choked around him. He brought you up for air and marveled at the tears running down your face, and the desperate look in your eyes. It was art for him and him alone to scrutinize, and he was most certainly a fan of the piece. Before you could fully focus your attention he was in your mouth again, his hips pushing up off the chair as he fucked your face. You gagged around his length, the sounds remarkably gratifying for Tsukishima to hear.

He brought you back up for air one final time, holding your head up so the two of you made eye contact. He chuckled at you, admiring your current state. Spit dribbled from the sides of your mouth, tears spilled out of your eyes, and you were perilously trying to catch your breath.

“Messy little girl. You're looking more and more like the stupid little slut I've always known you are. Cmon, say it for me, tell me you're a stupid little slut.”

As if his words weren't degrading enough, this request was surely the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of the sundae. He had you exactly where he wanted you, powerless and obedient. Just a small little toy for him to play with how he pleased. He wasn't satisfied with your lack of obedience, and slapped your cheek once again, roughly grabbing your face after.

“I wasn't giving you an option. Say it.” He demanded.

“I-I’m a stupid little slut.” You complied, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I can't fucking hear you.”

“I’m a stupid little slut!” You repeated, much louder this time. Tsukishima let out a satisfied chuckle, nodding his head.

“That's right, and who's stupid little slut are you?”

“Y-your stupid little slut, sir.”

“That’s right.”

Tsukishima pulled you up off the floor, laying you out on the table. He pulled his shirt off, your eyes combing over every little detail of him. You knew on top of being a student he played volleyball, so he had to be fairly muscular, but you weren't expecting what you got. He had a body even Odysseus would be jealous of, making you the ever loyal Penelope.

Tsukki lubed himself up with your wetness, as you were far from falling short of it. No man was ever this rough with you, ever this dominant. It turned you on more than you would like to admit, but there was no need to with Tsukishima. He could tell from the look in your eyes, the tone of your voice, the way your hips slightly bucked as you sucked him off.

Without warning his tip began to prod at your entrance before starting to slip in. It was no easy feat, though. You were incredibly tight, and even then you hadn't taken anything even close to Tsukishima’s size. He took things slow, watching as every inch of him stretched you further. You whimpered at the sensation, it was intoxicating beyond what your words could even describe. A groan slipped between his lips as he bottomed out, light curses following it. The way you tightened around him made it so hard for him to control himself, but he knew you needed a moment, and he wasn't trying to hurt you.

Not at the moment, at least.

You nodded your head lightly as you felt adjusted, giving him free reign over your body once again. Tsukki grabbed your hands, pinning them above your head before he began to move. He slowly started to pull out, and with a sudden snap you were once again taking all of him, a soft scream coming from you. He did this a couple times, watching how your body jolted. Feeling how your thighs tensed up next to him. Each of these thrusts hit your cervix, sending you reeling each time.

He picked up the pace, starting to pound into you at a relentless pace. You wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping him close and forcing him to go as deep in you as possible. Tsukishima brought one of his hands down to wrap around your neck, the other still holding your wrists in place. He gave the sides of your neck a squeeze, the lack of circulation rushing toward you just as he hit you with a particularly hard thrust. A light scream fell from your lips, the pleasure in that moment so crazily overwhelming. This routine continued; harder thrusts while he actively choked you, very slightly less hard ones as he gave you a moment to breathe correctly, all the while denying you of your high.

“You better not cum, slut.” He warned as he felt you once again starting to get just a bit too tight around him.

“W-wanna cum....so bad.” You weakly replied, tears welling in your eyes as you spoke. Once again, just as you were on the precipice of release, Tsukishima denied you again, pulling out and leaving you empty. Tears fell from your eyes as you uselessly whimpered and protested, all of it only earning you another slap to your cheek.

“Really thought I’d let you, huh? Dumb little bitch.” He said as he turned you over onto your stomach. He filled you up again, but before he moved any further he began raining spank after spank onto your ass. You could only assume it was punishment, but it felt far from it. The pain was nothing but masochistic pleasure for you, and sadistic pleasure for him. Each stung more than the last, and thus each felt even better than the last.

Your senses were so overloaded as he started to thrust into you again that your brain had turned to utter mush. Coherent thought was so far behind you it was like it was never something you could’ve done in the first place. The only thing you could process was pleasure, and to enhance it you lifted one of your legs back up onto the table, the other continuing to stay hanging over to keep yourself up. This new angle let Tsukishima hit sinfully deep in you once again, adding to the utter brainrot you were experiencing. Words no longer were an option for you, only whines and whimpers, a stray profanity at the very best.

Tsukishima grabbed a fistful of your hair, picking your head up off the table. He made you look in the direction of the door, bending down to speak into your ear.

“Look, you left the door unlocked. Someone could come in at any moment and watch you getting fucked like the little whore you are. But I’m sure you'd like it if someone saw us, wouldn't you?”

You couldn't bring yourself to form any sort of coherent response, and Tsukki very well knew that. He chuckled at your attempt to reply, which was just a rhythmic whine as if you were trying to get some words out.

“You're not very quiet, either. Stupid sluts like you like having everyone know how good they feel, don't they? I’m sure someone's come by to spy in, hearing how utterly pathetic you sound.”

His words only made you whine and whimper more, your head in an absolute daze from the sheer amount of pleasure you felt. Tsukki let go of your hair and your head fell down, and you got a good look at yourself in the mirrored wood table. Your mouth was hanging open, your hair a tangled mess and drool slipping from the corner of your parted lips. He had fucked you so past dumb you didn't even know you could be this far gone, and all the while you still had no clue if you would be allowed to cum.

Your hips pushed back against his, meeting every one of his thrusts and forcing him deeper. Each time he re-entered his tip made quick contact with your cervix, the repeated feeling driving you absolutely crazy. Your eyes rolled back as you let yourself fall onto the wood once again. You took everything he gave you, all the while holding your orgasm back. Each time he felt you were a little too close he pulled out, you couldn't even count how many times you'd been denied release, you were sure the number was shameful. You could tell this was getting harder on Tsukishima as well, the twitching and pulsating of his cock inside you letting you know he was having trouble holding back as well.

You saw no use in begging at this point, and you couldn't have mustered the words for it even if you wanted to. You simply whined and whimpered with every thrust, your body jolting forward each time. Tsukki held on tight to your hips, keeping you in place as he pounded mercilessly into you. In your daze all your senses had dulled, but you could hear just enough for Tsukishima's next four words to be heard, almost as clear as day.

“Cum. Do it now.”

In an instant you finally let yourself topple over the edge. Your voice was so hoarse you couldn't scream, rather you let out something between an incredibly loud moan and a whimper, your back arching and your legs shaking vigorously. Tears spilled from your eyes as your body was overrun by an orgasm unlike any other you had experienced. The feeling was only intensified by Tsukishima cumming inside you, depositing a sizable load inside of you. Your vision was blurry and a little white around the edges, and your chest heaved as you let out shallow breaths. Soreness set into your body as you took time to regain yourself, almost ten minutes passing before either of you even thought to move.

Tsukki pulled out of you slowly, admiring how fucked out you looked, your small body sprawled out on the table. He figured moving would be hard for you, so he gently let your leg down and peeled you off the table, sitting down in the chair behind him and sitting you on his lap. Your head fell on his shoulder, your eyes still a little glazed over, but for the most part it seemed you had come to.

“Are you feeling okay?” You nodded your head lightly, your breath finally leveling out. Your throat was pretty scratchy, and you knew your voice would be raspy, so you just didn't bother speaking yet.

“What have you learned today, then?”

“A good couple things.” You croaked out, wiping a stray tear from your cheek.

“Oh really? Enlighten me.”

“Well, I learned that economics is just something I'm never really going to understand. I also learned that you are a complete and utter asshole, even worse than I thought. Finally, I learned that you are a way more experienced man than I thought you were, and maybe I don't hate you as much as I was letting on.”

Tsukishima laughed out lightly, giving you a bit of an approving nod.

“Good, I’m glad I at least taught you something. Maybe not what I originally intended, but learning is learning. I think with a couple more study sessions you’ll start to understand the econ material, though.”

You didn't say this out loud, but the thought of getting to spend some more alone time with Tsukishima actually wasn't the most terrible thought in the world. It seemed clear enough to you that the resentment between you two was clearly something much, much different than that, and so you were open to the thought of exploring what it actually was. Maybe not in as much of an erotic way as you just had next time. Not that you would've minded if it escalated to that point.

Although, you thought, if Tsukki was going to fuck you like that every time, brainrot from class material was going to be the least of your worries.

The both of you made yourselves presentable again, packing up all your belongings and leaving the room clean before walking out, which you did fairly slowly due to how sore your legs were. You both walked through the library, which was overwhelmingly empty besides a few staff members working hard at hardly working. It was to be expected; it was a Friday night and you were the only two in the world who'd pick studying over any other activity. You stopped just outside the entrance, turning to your side and giving Tsukishima a wave.

“I guess I’ll catch you later then, Tsukishima.”

“Oh, so no thank you for helping you study? I guess the one thing I didn't teach you was manners, huh y/n?” You chuckled at his comment, shaking your head a bit.

“Guess you didn’t. It’ll have to wait until next time.” You turned on your heel and started in the direction of the train. Before you could get far Tsukki grabbed your arm and pulled you back over to him, holding your chin so softly with his other hand, the action so outrageously condescending.

“Oh no, I’ll gladly teach you right now.”

#tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyu x reader #tsukishima smut #tsukishima #hq x you #hq tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima oneshot #haikyuu!!

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werewolf-witchboy · 3 years

Text

Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader

Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami

WARNINGS: none uwu

Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.

I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.

💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.

🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.

💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.

🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.

💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.

-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.

-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.

🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.

💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).

🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.

-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.

💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.

-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.

🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).

-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.

💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-

-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.

🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.

-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.

-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.

-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.

💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.

-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.

🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).

💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭

🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.

-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"

💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.

-He's definitely a Loona stan.

🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.

-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.

-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.

-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.

💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.

-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.

-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.

-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.

-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.

-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.

-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.

💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.

🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.

-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.

-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.

💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.

-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.

🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.

-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.

-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.

-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.

-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.

-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.

-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.

-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.

💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.

-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.

-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.

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bicycle4two · 3 years

Text

say you wanna, say you wanna be || Sam Drake x Reader || Chapter 3

Summary: Sam isn't looking for a girlfriend and, frankly, you don't think you'd be a good one anyway, but you two aren't some one-night stand and it's been a long time since either of you thought of each other as a convenient booty call. This is something more, something the two of you didn't realize would be. It's uncharted territory. And there is no other choice but to figure out how to navigate through it together.

Pairing: Sam Drake x Fem!Reader

Tags(ish): developing relationship, implied/non-explicit sexual content, romance/fluff/hurt/comfort, age difference (though reader’s age is not stated), switching povs (second person reader, third person sam), no y/n but reader has a nickname

C.1 || C.2

Chapter Three:

There’s a memory that haunts you from when you were young. It’s always there at the back of your mind, coming up at the most inconvenient of times. Well, it’s not like there is a convenient time for you to remember such a thing but sometimes it catches you when you’re at a really bad place.

Sometimes you remember it when you have one who hides their phones for more reasons than just “privacy,” one who only takes you out when there’s no one around who knows the two of you, one who disappears without a trace only to come back with flowers and excuses, the smell of another woman’s perfume on their clothes.

Sometimes you remember it when there’s nothing for you to worry about, like now, when you’re under Sam, his weight more comforting than suffocating, trying to catch your breath after a mind shattering orgasm. Your ceiling, something that’s never been impressive before, has your full attention as you try to gather yourself, lure your soul back into your body.

“I-I think. I think I lost my vision for a second there,” you breathe out, earning a chuckle from Sam.

“You flatter me, princess.”

“What was that? I can’t hear either,” you push your hair away from your face. It’s damp with sweat. You’re going to need another shower. “I think I entered another dimension. I think I saw God.”

Sam pushes himself off of you and kisses you gently on the lips. You’d think he was asking for another round if he wasn’t as tired as you. “Not God,” he says, voice deep. He’s caught his breath, the rise and fall of his chest steady. It’s kind of funny that a smoker can recover faster than you. “Just me.”

And it’s the word “just” that sticks to you, that repeats itself over and over in your head, that brings forth the memory that you’ve desperately try to keep at the back of your mind, locked up and buried. It’s the memory of a phone screen, a chat with a coded name, pictures of a woman you don’t know. A woman who isn’t your mother that your father messages, saves pictures of.

You were young when you found out, much younger than you are now, and although deep down, you knew, you’ve always known your father was a man who could not be trusted, a man who had straying eyes, long trips with women he called friends, you were hurt. Betrayed. Because you always thought that things like this only happened on TV, in books, to friends and classmates.

But not you.

And yet, here you are, in bed with a man who hides his phone, disappears for long periods of times, and has a history you don’t even know where to begin to look into. A man who acts so much like the ones before, only sweeter, gentler, but still suspicious.

And you’ve been hurt by men like him before and you don’t know if you can take another blow. Not from someone like Sam.

So, you push away the memory and say, “Just you and,” And you hesitate for a second, find the courage somewhere deep inside you to ask, to finally ask, “And it’s just me, right?”

“You scared me for a second,” Sam lets out a breath you didn’t know he was holding and you realize that you had paused at the wrong word, the double meaning. You offer him a small smile, an apology. “Yes, it’s just you.” He confirms and you feel yourself relax, only away now of how tense you were.

“Good,” you say, looking back up at your ceiling. “That’s good. I, uh, I wasn’t sure.”

“This has been bothering you?” Sam gets off of you and you instinctively cover yourself with a pillow as Sam has your blanket thrown over his waist. You never thought you’d have this conversation with him. You never thought you’d get to ask one of your questions and actually get an answer. You wish that you had clothes on for this.

“A bit,” you say. “I know we aren’t, well, a thing, but when I saw you with your sister-in-law and when I didn’t know she was your sister-in-law, I have to say, I panicked.”

“You thought I was cheating on you?” Sam lets out a chuckle like the thought of it is absurd but he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know what went through your mind that day in the café.

“I thought you were cheating on her. I’m not really a fan of being the other woman.”

Sam winces and you can see that there’s something he wants to ask but doesn’t know if he should. Huh. You wonder if you’re that easy to read.

“From experience,” you end up saying anyway, just because you know how it feels to have your questions answered. “It would be nice, I think, if we’re clear on some things. Be on the same page, you know?”

“I’m not looking for a girlfriend.” Sam looks at you straight in the eye, like this is important, that if you don’t get this then that’s that. And you do get it because for all the things you don’t know about Sam, you can at least say you knew this.

“I know. I can’t say I’d be a good one anyway.” You know you can’t base your worth on past relationships but sometimes you can’t help but think that there was something you lacked, that you came up short somewhere, that made the relationships turn sour. Psychopaths and unfaithful husbands aside. “But we aren’t exactly a one-night stand anymore.”

Sam rubs the back of his neck and the action causes you to look at his tattoos, the familiar sight of birds in flight. Tim had mentioned them that day in the café, said something about prison tattoos, and you’d just rolled your eyes at him. But then you think about the scars and gunshot wounds and you can’t exactly say that Sam lives a normal, danger-free life.

“So, what do you want, princess?” Sam asks, reaching down to pick up his shirt. It seems like his clothes weren’t flung too far from the bed. You can see your pants by your bedroom door. “Cuz I don’t know what I can give ya.”

“Well,” you play with the ends of your pillow case just so you have something to do with your hands. There are so many things you want. Answers, for one thing. That’s number one. But Sam looks tired and you sort of feel guilty for springing this on him. Because, again, this isn’t a normal relationship. He doesn’t owe you anything and if you ask for more than he can give, well, this just isn’t going to work.

And you want this to work. You can’t deny yourself that truth. You want whatever it is Sam can give you. So, you say, “It wouldn’t hurt if you’d give me a heads up before you leave for God knows where. It’s not fun thinking you’ve gotten tired of me and just disappeared off of the face of the earth.”

Sam lets out a breath you don’t think he realized he was holding. “A call, I can do that.”

“You can even just text me. Email. I don’t have a pager but if that’s how you work…”

“I’m not that old, princess,” Sam rolls his eyes, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’ll call you. I promise.”

And it’s the word “promise” that sticks to you, that repeats itself over and over in your head, that brings a smile to your face.

...

It’s the same old song and dance and you swear you’d give up your left kidney for the tune to change, for the choreography to switch up, because Tim’s on your case again and you’re getting really close to filing a request that you two don’t share the next few shifts together.

(But then Agatha would be questioning you as well and you’re sure that half the questions Tim asks are echoes of Agatha’s and she’s honestly the harder of the two to deal with. So, damnit, you’re going to have to suck it up. Deal with the kid.)

“Is this really the kind of relationship you want to have?” Tim asks, leaning against his broom for support. The café’s closed for the day and the two of you are in charge of cleaning and inventory. Agatha’s in the back, balancing the day’s earnings.

“This again, Tim?” You glare at the stain on the table your wiping, spraying it once more before scrubbing the surface harder. You’re not going to lie, you’re picturing Tim’s face, attacking your imagination instead of the person. Even if it’s tempting, oh so tempting.

“It’s just weird that he just goes off unannounced and doesn’t come back for weeks.”

“Ever heard of a business trip?” The table is shaking from your force, the surface almost like a mirror from how shiny it’s getting.

Tim scoffs. “I’ve seen your boyfriend—”

“Not my boyfriend.”

“—And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a nine to five office job.” Tim goes back to sweeping even though the floor is clean. He really should get the mop but he hates handling it. “Also, daddy kink? Didn’t think you were the type.”

“Oh my God. It’s not like that!” You groan, throwing your dirty rag at him. Tim yelps when it hits him on the back. Honestly, he should have seen it coming. “And we’ve talked, okay? Ages ago. He doesn’t leave without warning anymore.”

“The bar is really low.”

“Shut up, Tim.” Your phone is ringing, saving you from this conversation and punching your co-worker in the face. “Hello?” You say once you answer your phone, smiling. It’s Sam.

“Hi, princess,” Sam grunts out and you frown at his tone.

“Hi, uh, are you okay?”

Tim is looking at you now, blatantly listening in, and you turn your back to him, facing the painting on the wall. You never really understood this piece, but Agatha likes it.

“Yeah. I’m great! Just—wait a second.” You hear Sam suck in a breath and all of a sudden there’re gunshots. You jump in surprise, shoulders rising, tense, and you have to pull your phone away from your ear from the sheer volume of it. “Okay. I’m back.”

“Sam. Please tell me you’re playing a video game.”

“Huh? Yeah, sure, if that makes you feel better. Wait.” You hear the crunch of gravel, quick and quiet footsteps, and then the sound of surprise before a crack and thud. “Sorry. Anyway, so I have a problem.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask what it is.”

“It’s nothing bad. I promise,” his voice is quiet now. Like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear him. “Y’see. I told you about my job, right?”

“I mean, all you said was you were going to…I want to say Japan. You were in India last time.”

“Yeah! Beautiful country, by the way. We should go next time.” Sam says in one breath and you feel your heart skip a beat. A trip? With Sam? “If I don’t get banned from the place. Which would be a shame, really, cuz the food’s great—hang on.”

There’re gunshots again and then running. You don’t realize that you’re outside the café until a strong wind blows by. You had walked out the door when it seemed like this wasn’t going to be a normal check in. Which was almost immediately, to be frank. From the corner of your eye, you see Tim watching you, broom still in his hands, the rag on the floor by his feet. You wave him off, turning your attention back to Sam. You hear him shout “This is a goddamn temple! Show some respect!” before he gets back to you.

“Where was I?”

“What the hell is going on, Sam?”

“Nothing to worry about, princess. What there is to worry about is my fish.” Sam’s whispering again, ragged. He’s catching his breath. “Y’see. I told you where I was going but I forgot to tell my little brother and, well, someone has to feed my fish.”

“Oh.” You ignore the crunch and thud you hear from Sam’s line. You’re too busy thinking about this fish you’ve never heard of. There’s so much information to unpack right now but the fish is what you zero in on. It’s the only thing that makes sense. “Oh shit.”

“Oh shit’s right. I can’t believe I forgot Jimmy like that.”

Jimmy? “Can, can a fish live this long without food?”

“Now, princess, that’s not the kind of talk I need to hear right now.” There are sounds of movement again. Rustling now, too. Like leaves. “I need you to tell me that Jimmy’s going to be fine. That I did not just leave my fish to die alone.”

“I’ll go to him. Just, uh, I don’t have your key.” You know where he lives, you’ve been there a few times when all of this started, pre-Jimmy, but Sam was always there. You never needed to go there alone and you were never left there alone.

“You have one. I left my spare in your room. Y’know, for emergencies.”

“Were you ever going to tell me that?”

“Didn’t think I had to. It’s in plain sight, princess.” He grunts out. “Listen, I have to go, but check your dresser. It should be there. Save Jimmy!!”

Jimmy is, thankfully, miraculously, fine. His tank needs a little cleaning but you’ve fed him and made sure that there’s enough water for him to swim around in. The top of his castle was starting to peak out. When that’s all done, you send a picture to Sam. You don’t think he’ll see it anytime soon so you toss your phone away and collapse onto his couch.

You’re tired. Apparently getting Sam’s spare key wasn’t as easy as you thought because after sprinting to the bus stop and up the stairs to your apartment, stumbling into your bedroom, you did not find a key at your dresser. No.

After messing up what was once an organized table, you find a note that was clearly written by Sam stuck on your corkboard along with all your other notes written for yourself. Reminders that you needed to go through before the start of your day. Things you’ve long since memorized and never bother to read anymore. That’s Sam’s idea of an “in plain sight” note. Which is also a clue, a riddle that led you to another part of your room, then to your kitchen, underneath your couch, and then to your bedside table, the side he sleeps on. There you find the key taped under a laminated flower. It was the one you had with you when you’d first met Sam. And if Sam recognized it, and you’re pretty sure he did, well you’re glad he wasn’t around for you to find it.

Your phone rings, jolting you out of your daze. You almost fell asleep, the adrenaline gone. You reach for it, refusing to leave your spot, and manage to answer it before the caller hung up. To your surprise, it’s Sam.

“Finally figured out video call?” You say once his face appears on your screen. His holding his phone a little too close but you don’t correct him, finding it cute.

“And you found the key!” Sam says back. “Thanks for saving Jimmy, princess.”

“I read somewhere that goldfish can actually go two weeks without food.”

“Doesn’t mean he has to. C’mon. That’s my roommate.”

“I’m just saying,” You smile because even you wouldn’t want to leave a fish hungry. “Oh. Also. You and I have completely different interpretations of ‘for emergencies.’”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

“If I left you something for emergencies, I’d like to think you’d be able to get to it immediately.” You whip the smile of your face. Exchange it with a raised brow, an unamused gaze. “Making me hunt for clues all over my apartment isn’t something I’d like to do in emergency situations.”

Sam lets out a laugh. “Ah. Well, I guess I picked up a few things from work.”

“It would have bitten you in the ass if I didn’t find that key.”

“I had faith in you, princess.”

...

Chapter 4

Read on AO3

#samuel drake #sam drake #samuel drake x reader #sam drake x reader #sam drake fanfiction #uncharted #uncharted 4 #uncharted fanfiction #a thief's end #fanfic #self indulgent writing

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kagsluvr · 3 years

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hq boys as things my exes/flings did pt.2

a/n: i swear these scenarios probably make it seem i was in such happy relationships but nooo never that, (i’m exaggerating some of these, but it’s fine since the boys would definitely do these for you with no complication :D) anyway here's a pt. 2 no one asked for but i felt like writing anyway cuz i couldn’t sleep last night lol <3

part one here

- kageyama tobio will always appreciate a nice set of nice, healthy nails. he probably cares about your nails more than you do yourself. when he’s playing with your hands, he especially likes to rub against your nails, making sure they’re in the best condition possible. he will most definitely take you to the nail salon every two or three weeks for you to get them professionally cleaned and painted (if you want). and he always pays for it. he doesn’t ever let you pay for them lol. “no let me, please” he always says, with a baby pout on his face and of course, you let him.

- miya osamu will bake sweets for you all the time. chocolate chip cookies, fudge brownies, lemon cupcakes (they’re fucking good), you name it. you never asked him once to bake something for you, he just does it as a symbol of affection. he knows how much you love it too. he saw it in your face. the first time you took a bite of his homemade matcha brownies, your eyes widened and you began to chew slower, savoring the flavor of every single bite. this made him very happy, taking it as a sign to give you more of his love-filled desserts.

- iwaizumi hajime will always carry your textbooks for you. he never lets you carry them yourself no matter how much you insist. the book could just be a skinny soft-covered math workbook, and he would still snatch it from your hands to hold it for you as you guys make your way to the cafeteria. before you guys started dating, when you were still friends, you complained a lot about how your next year’s classes were going to assign such thick and heavy textbooks. well he remembered this and couldn’t be more than happy to be dating you now so he could perform the chivalrous act of carrying your books.

- sugawara koushi will always allow you to take the only available seat in a crowded bus or train. he stands up next to you, one hand holding the railing above his head and the other holding yours. he even offers you one of his airpods, as you both listen to music, slightly tuning out the conversations between other passengers and the rusty noise of the moving train. although, there are still many instances where there’s two seats available next to each other.

- yamaguchi tadashi will make a ton of playlists for you. will make playlists full of songs that remind him of you, or will make some full of song recommendations. occasionally he would just come across a song he really likes and would get too excited to add it to a playlist to send to you later on, so he would just send it to you right away. you both have a wide music taste range and along the way, you guys tend to share a lot of favorite artists. he will also listen to and appreciate the tunes that you send to him, which makes you incredibly happy.

- ushijima wakatoshi will surprise you with little things that remind him of you. whether its a bouquet of flowers or a pocket sized hand sanitizer of your favorite scent. he remembers every little detail you tell him about yourself and casually gifts you anything that he associates you with. he recently bought you a vanilla cupcake candle because he remembered you telling him how your 12th birthday was your favorite because you had vanilla cupcakes as one of the party treats and they tasted out of this world. then ever since, vanilla cupcakes have been your favorite dessert.

- tsukishima kei will always tie your shoes whenever you’re with him. you guys will walk down the hallway or will be your way home from school and he’ll be the first one to notice the dangling shoelaces of yours flopping around each time you take a step. he stops you in your tracks and bends down to knot them - not as tight as you’d think he would. he does this shit on purpose, just so the laces can become loose enough to untie itself again, only for him to do the same thing again, even if it’s only been like five minutes since that last time he tied it.

- sakusa kiyoomi will practically beg you to wear his hoodies and sweaters. which you don’t mind at all. almost every morning, he’ll approach you, offering a freshly washed jacket to wear, even though you already have one on. he insists and of course, you accept it. the comfort of walking around school in a jacket slightly bigger than yours makes you feel extra warm. your parents don’t like it when you wear other people’s clothes, so at the end of the day, you give back his jacket. this works out perfectly for him since he gets to wash them immediately when he gets home, ready to hand you another one the next day.

---

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #hq #hq x y/n #hq x gender neutral reader #kageyama x reader #osamu x y/n #iwaizumi x you #sugawara x y/n #yamaguchi hcs #ushijima x reader #tsukishima x reader #sakusa headcanons #hq fluff #hq headcanons #haikyuu headcanons

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kalimagik · 4 years

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Not A Movie...Right?

Harry Potter x Reader

Word Count: ~7,400

Warnings: Some cursing, mentions of sex, but that’s the only time the word is used....

A/N: Soooo, here’s a fic I wrote that isn’t based on a song! (Look at me trying to expand!) It’s got angst, tears, strong women standing by each other, oblivious Harry, and then fluff at the end cuz I love me a good happy ending... If you enjoy it, like, reblog, comment, or follow! You can also send me a message if there is something you’d like to see me post! still new on here, so I’m open to pretty much everything! Happy reading <3<3

*not my GIF - credit to owner

The corridors were empty, the classrooms were quiet, and the students were busying themselves outside, well most of the students. Y/N dragged her feet down the hallways, avoiding the windows, she didn’t want to be seen by the other students. Why be lost in conversation when she was lost in the thoughts that had been consuming her brain?

Had she made a mistake? Was it stupid to get everything off of her chest? It had been four years after all, right? It was okay to feel these things. She’d hid them for as long as possible, she tried to at least. Maybe she shouldn’t have told him, but maybe he shouldn’t have kissed her after the quidditch match. Didn’t he know that would completely scramble her brain? He knew her! At least, she thought he knew her.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” Hermione called from a little bit ahead.

Y/N looked up for her eyes to meet her best friends’ right away. The brunette knew something was wrong, she’d barely seen Y/N in the last week.

“We’ve been outside all day. It’s so nice and you told Ron that you were going to meet us out there. I didn’t even see you this morning. What’s going on?” she prodded, knowing that there was something more happening with her friend.

Y/N couldn’t look at her. She knew that tears would start rolling down her face the moment she did. Yes, Y/N normally told Hermione everything, but she hadn’t told her about this yet and she’d been dealing with it all herself. So, maybe she should tell her?

“Y/N/N…Please talk to me!” Hermione’s voice begged. Y/N finally looked up to see the concern in her friend’s face. “Oh common!” Hermione rushed to Y/N and pulled her hand until they were at the Gryffindor Common Room and climbing the stairs to their shared dorm room. Of course it was empty, everyone was enjoying one of the few nice days that Hogwarts saw.

Once in the comfort of her own room, Y/N started to sob. How did she start to explain what had happened? Before she had to, Hermione spoke up.

“Y/N/N. I know this has something to do with Harry. You never act like this. You’ve been up early for breakfast every morning and leave by the time I get down there with the boys. Sometimes Ron gets there early enough to see you, but then you leave before he can have a full conversation. You don’t speak during lessons and you’ve been sitting in different seats. Y/N/N, you sat with the SLYTHERINS the other day! You’re obviously avoiding him!”

Y/N just looked down at her hands that were folded in her lap.

“What happened? Please? You normally tell me this stuff. We’ve talked about all of your other boys before. I know that you like him. You may have not told me, but I am observant. I did notice. Just talk to me!”

Taking a deep breath before she started talking, Y/N began the story.

“It has been going on all year, ‘Mione. Remember when we first got back to school and we had that huge party after quidditch tryouts? Well, Harry and I just went and got some air. We were talking like we always do. You guys became my best friends in our second year, so it was easy. And it was probably the fire whiskey, but Harry started talking about how great I was. He was all of course I’ve had a crush on you before! You’re exactly my type and fun and cute. And I just sat there listening and thinking. And it was just nice to hear, but then I realized something. I could have always fallen for Harry so easily, but I always kept myself from doing it. I didn’t want to because I knew it would be too big for me. But, he, he opened the gates. It’s his fault, ‘Mione!” Y/N could feel her voice raising as she thought of how stupid she had been.

Hermione looked at the 6th year girl, whose eyes were puffy and red, whose lips quivered as she thought about everything. Hermione didn’t want to push her anymore, but she knew that Y/N needed to get it all out. She’d been holding it in for too long and it was affecting how she was in school and with her friends and as a person.

After giving Y/N a few moments of silence, Hermione spoke up. “So, what happened then?”

“Well, I started letting myself fall. I was such a git! And I wanted to spend so much time with him and be around him. I mean, I always was, but it just felt different now. I wanted to be close to him and touch him and it just felt different. And he was different too! He was attentive and seeking me out and yeah…” Y/N paused as she thought. Thinking about what happened.

“‘Mione,” Y/N whispered, “we snogged. A lot. And it went further than that. And – and I thought we were on the same page, but then he said he just wanted to stay friends because he didn’t want to ruin what we had…”

“HE DID WHAT?!” Hermione howled. Y/N could see the rage building up on her face. She knew maybe she shouldn’t have said that.

“ ‘Mione, please don’t get mad. Don’t yell. Don’t get mad at him. It’s already happened. I made the same decision he did. Plus, I told him it was okay. I told him I was fine, so I messed up. I didn’t check and make sure we were on the same page…” Y/N tried to explain.

“This is not your fault! Why is he so daft! Why would he do that! He did that AND THEN said he didn’t want to mess up the dynamic?”

“Well yeah, but he’s a boy, it's fine. Seriously.”

“Fine. I won’t yell at him yet. When did this all happen?”

Y/N bit her lip, thinking. Everything seemed to always blend together. “Two months ago, maybe…”

“Y/N! It’s April now…What happened next?” Hermione asked, knowing the story wasn’t over.

“Well, you know the quidditch match two weeks ago? When they beat Hufflepuff?” Y/N asked, wiping her eyes.

“yeah….”

“Well, I thought I had come to terms with everything by then. I went on that date to Hogsmeade and even though Zacharias Smith was an ass after, it was still nice when we went.”

“Okay? I knew that. He was an ass…”

“Yeah, exactly. Well, then the match came and they won and I didn’t get to see Harry because the people were just crowding and I couldn’t get to him. So, I waited for everyone to come out of the changing tents so I could congratulate our friends.. Well, Harry was the last one to come out and he was so excited that he kissed me. And I pretended I was fine because I couldn’t go through the ‘we’re just friends’ talk again. But, I couldn’t stop thinking about it after that. All the feelings that I gated off flooded right back in because it just felt right! He held me in a way that no one ever has and his lips just felt right. I couldn’t stop it!” Y/N was gasping, reliving what she had been avoiding.

“But, you’ve only been acting strange for a week. What changed between then and now?” Hermione asked. She’d been nodding along since Y/N started. She was thinking a lot and felt pretty angry, but she was keeping her anger at Harry hidden for Y/N’s sake.

“Well, I became overwhelmed. It’s all I could think about. It didn’t feel fair because I didn’t get to say what I really felt. I just took everything in. So, I worked up a little bit of courage and I told him how I felt last week. I said everything. I wrote it down and I just told him! But, but, but he didn’t say anything back. And when I saw him the next day, he just acted normal and as if nothing happened and I couldn’t do that! I couldn’t, ‘Mione…” Y/N felt the tears begin to swell up along the edges of eyes.

“Wow…he hasn’t said anything?”

Y/N shook her head.

“And you’ve just been dealing with it and acting as normal as possible?”

Y/N nodded.

“But, you’ve still been avoiding him and he hasn’t said anything.”

“I don’t think that he noticed,” Y/N said. “Of course, I haven’t seen him to know whether or not he has.”

Hermione thought for a second. She knew that Harry hadn’t said anything to her about Y/N not being around, so either it wasn’t bothering him or he didn’t notice. Ron was always slightly oblivious, so he didn’t completely understand what was going on, but he knew Y/N hadn’t been around as much. Hermione could tell Y/N this, but she didn’t want to be the one to break her friend’s heart, no matter how honest she wanted to be with her. She couldn’t do it.

“Do you want me to ask him what he’s thinking?” Hermione asked timidly.

“NO!” Y/N spoke louder than she had in a while. “I don’t want him to know I told you. ‘Mione, I’ve been thinking a lot. Harry not saying anything to me is an answer. He doesn’t want me… I can’t keep walking around here thinking that he’s just going to run up to me and tell me that he loves me. That only happens in the movies and this isn’t a movie. I need to just move on, but I needed a little bit of time before that. I needed to come to that decision myself.” Y/N tried to explain, with pleading in her eyes.

“I get that, but it isn’t fair to you…You deserve to be so happy!” Hermione argued.

“But, it doesn’t look like I’m going to get that from him…”

Hermione couldn’t hear it. This whole situation was ridiculous! Harry couldn’t just not say anything. If she had been in that situation, she wouldn’t have taken it! But what could she do? Y/N didn’t want her to get involved.

Y/N spoke up, breaking Hermione from her internal thought process. “I told you ‘Mione, I just need to give myself some time to move on and I can’t do that when I’m seeing him every day.”

“That makes sense, but I miss you! Can you please just be around more. I can stay away from him. Plus, we have to start studying for exams soon anyways. I just want to spend time with you!”

“I’m sorry you got caught up in all of this. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m always going to worry about you!” Hermione assured her friend, fighting the internal struggle about what to do. She could do what Y/N asked and just leave it be, but that didn’t feel right. Boys this year were just messing everything up.

“I know. But we only have like two months of school anyways. It’ll be fine.” Y/N waved off whatever she was feeling, wiping away the few stray tears.

Hermione nodded, knowing there was nothing else she could do in that moment. So, she spent the rest of the day with Y/N. She convinced her to walk around and go out to the courtyard for a bit. Everyone else was on the grounds, so it was clear. They did run into a few Hufflepuff girls, but it was fine interacting with them.

Being a Sunday evening, the girls knew that they had a busy week, so they headed to the Common Room after a short dinner. A Harry free dinner of course.

“You go up, I need to gather some books from the Common Room,” Hermione said as Y/N went to the steps for the dormitory.

“Okay!” Y/N waved as she went up to their room.

Hermione looked around. She knew it wouldn’t be long before the boys got back from dinner. Hermione noticed on her way out that Ron and Harry ate with the other boys in their dorm tonight. She waved, but only Ron saw her. Y/N was walking out of the Great Hall so quickly that she didn’t have time to stop and say hi.

She dawdled picking up what she could, taking her time. She’d just tell Y/N that she realized she had to finish an essay if they took much longer. But, as if on cue, the portrait door swung open and in walked 5 boys. Seamus, Neville, and Dean stumbled up the dormitory stairs while Harry and Ron walked towards where Hermione was standing over her books.

“Where have you been?” Harry asked casually.

Hermione felt the fire inside of her flare, but she responded as calmly as possible. “I’ve been with Y/N for most of the afternoon and evening.”

“Blimey! So that’s where you went! We sat by the lake forever and figured you just went to do an assignment,” Ron shrugged as he turned.

“No, I went to find our other best friend. I haven’t seen her nearly at all this week and Ron said she was coming to the lake, but when she didn’t, I went to find her unlike you two blathering gits!” Hermione raised her voice.

Ron and Harry looked at her confused. “What are you talking about, ‘Mione?” Ron questioned.

“Have you two noticed nothing?! She’s never at breakfast with us, she skips meals, she hasn’t sat with us in lessons all week! We haven’t had our best friend! Ron, you’ve been so caught up with your break up and you, Harry, with that stupid book! We’re losing her!”

Now, the boys looked concerned. Hermione did raise her voice at them quite often, but something about this was different.

“What is wrong with you, Hermione?” Harry spoked up.

“You of all people should know!” Hermione spat before picking up her books and heading towards the stairs.

Ron looked at Harry with so much confusion in his eyes. “What’s she talking about?” he asked.

Harry stood there for a moment before he called after Hermione. “Wait! Come back here!”

Hermione stopped at the bottom of the stairs, taking in a deep breath before turning around. “What?” she responded sternly.

“Can you just tell us why you’re so angry?” Harry asked, trying to get a little more information out of her.

“It’s not my place,” Hermione barked. “Besides, it could be more efficient for me to just not say anything at all. Then I’ll just act like everything is normal!” With that small jab, she stomped up the stairs to her bedroom. She promised Y/N she wouldn’t say anything and she didn’t really. Not out right.

Hearing the door slam, Ron turned to Harry aghast. “What was she blithering on about? Bloody hell!” He ran his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck!” Harry cursed, when it dawned on him why she was so angry.

“I mean, I know Y/N’s been out of sorts this week, but she gets like that sometimes. I figured it was just that thing that happens to girls every month.” Ron rambled on, not hearing Harry. “Sure, she seemed a little more rushed and like she just wanted to be alone. I didn’t think it had anything to do with us.”

“It didn’t have anything to do with us, Ron. It had everything to do with me,” Harry flopped onto the couch as he slapped his hand over his face.

“What are you talking about?” Ron asked stupidly.

“I was an idiot! How couldn’t I have noticed that she was avoiding me?”

“What?” Ron asked again.

“Whenever you were at breakfast early this week, did you see Y/N?”

“Yes? But..”

“And did she always leave right before Hermione and I got there?” Harry cut him off.

Ron sat on a chair near Harry, thinking about the past week for a moment. “Now that you mention it, I guess she did. I thought she just had assignments to get ahead on. You know how her and Hermione can be…What are you thinking about, Harry? Come off it!”

“I’m an idiot!” Harry stood up quickly and rushed towards the stairs.

“Harry, you know that’s not going to work…” Ron called as he heard the stairs turn into the slide to keep the boys out of the girls’ dormitory.

“But, I’ve got to get up there! I’ve messed up Ron!”

“You could send her a note. It's only 7:15. I bet you could make it up to the owlery before curfew,” Ron suggested, getting comfortable.

“Ron! That’s brilliant!”

Before Ron could continue, Harry was out of the portrait hole again.

“OR!” Ron tried to call after him, “or you could wait until one of the other girls comes back and give them a note for Y/N…” Ron finished. “What the hell is going on with everyone?” Ron wondered as he placed his hands behind his head and relaxed in front of the fireplace.

______________________________________________________________________________

“What took you so long, ‘Mione?” Y/N asked when she came out of the bathroom to see Hermione just putting her books down.

“The boys came in while I was gathering my things,” Hermione responded truthfully, not knowing how her friend would respond.

“Oh…” Y/N faded off. “Did they have a good time at dinner?” Y/N asked, trying to be as normal as possible.

“Yeah, they did. We didn’t say much about dinner though.”

“Oh? What did you all talk about?” Y/N questioned as she moved around the room, pulling on her pajamas and hanging up her towel.

“Well, they asked where I went and then I kind of got angry with them…” Hermione tried to look innocent.

“Mione?” Y/N was now getting worried. “Why would you get angry?”

“I just, they asked where I went and I said to find you and then I got mad that they hadn’t noticed how you had been acting all week and…and _ I –” Hermione cut herself off to look up at Y/N just in time to see a horrified face. “Don’t worry! I didn’t say anything about what you told me! I can hold my tongue at least that much. But, I may have made a slight comment just to get him thinking…”

“YOU DID WHAT?” Y/N yelled, dropping everything in her hands.

“I don’t know if he got it. Ron was blabbering like an idiot when I came up the stairs. I just think that he owes you something! You are friends, at least! Maybe he just didn’t realize how he felt about you…” Hermione tried to explain.

“Mione! Now he knows that I’ve been sulking over him all week! He may be daft, but he’s not THAT daft!”

“But, you deserve to get something!” Hermione yelled out.

Luckily, it was early enough that the other girls weren’t back to the room just yet, so Y/N had a moment to compose herself. She really despised whenever Lavender tried to act like her best friend and comfort her. It was really the worst and just awkward. That all started when Ron and Lavender dated and Y/N wound up around her more often than she would have liked. Whenever she was with Harry and Ron and Lavender always popped up to be with Ron. It was the worst.

“What am I going to do now? I was so close to moving on, Hermione! Common!”

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry, Y/N/N! But, someone needed to do something. He needs to talk back so that you can actually get some closure!”

“What did I tell you earlier! This isn’t a fucking movie! Merlin! I just wanted to move on before being around him all the time again, okay? Now I’m going to need to keep doing what I’ve been doing for a week!” Y/N ranted as she paced back and forth across the floor.

Hermione sat there silently, realizing how what she did may have been stupid, but she was going to continue to defend her actions. “Y/N/N, I’m going to tell you this again. He needs to say something. You can’t just let him off the hook. He’s being an idiot! And –”

Hermione was cut off by a light tapping at the window. The two girls turned to see a white snow owl.

“Hedwig?” Y/N was startled as Hermione went to open the window to let the owl in.

“She has a note tied to her leg…” Hermione noticed. “It’s for you.”

“He wrote me a note?” Y/N questioned.

“Maybe he realized that he was being an idiot. What’s it say?” Hermione asked as she handed Y/N the note and sat down next to her.

Hedwig flew over and hooted happily as Y/N unconsciously petted her, holding open the letter to look at Harry’s tiny, scribbled handwriting.

“What’s it say?”

“Give me a second! I need to decipher his writing,” Y/N trembled.

Y/N looked down at the note. It wasn’t long, it was straight forward.

“He wants to talk to me…” Y/N sat the note down and stood up suddenly, pacing around again. Hermione picked up the note and quickly scanned it.

“Y/N/N, he’s pretty much pleading for you to come downstairs right now. I bet he just ran all the way to the owlery to send this and get back in time.”

Y/N stood there thinking, not sure what to do, but before she could speak anymore, the dorm door flew open.

“Why was Harry so out of breath?” Parvati wondered out loud as her and Lavender discarded their things onto their beds. The two were giggling.

“What’s going on up here?” Lavender asked, trying to read the room.

“Nothing!” Y/N blurted quickly, knowing that Lavender wouldn’t ask Hermione for any details. The two hadn’t spoken in weeks. Before she knew what she was doing, she swept to the still open door. She didn’t know why she was going so quickly, but she forced herself to slow down when she was about halfway down the steps. She couldn’t seem too desperate. She had “moved on,” remember.

As she went to take the last turn, she practically stopped. She could hear the soft voices of the boys that she knew so well.

“Do you think Hedwig got her attention?”

“Mate, you haven’t even told me what’s going on,” Ron pointed out.

Y/N inched a little further down, trying to hear better.

“I’ll tell you once I know what’s going on!” Harry practically exploded. He’d gotten better at that from last year, but his temper still spouted from time to time.

Y/N felt her heart constrict. Was that good or bad? She moved forward just a little bit more as Harry had lowered his voice again. But, she must’ve gone a little too far and her foot slipped off the edge of the step. She felt her torso follow quickly after, tumbling down the last stairs and onto the Common Room floor.

“uhhh, hey guys…” Y/N felt her cheeks heat up. Thinking quickly, she added, “I just left something down here…” Maybe she couldn’t do this. She’d already poured her heart out over a week earlier. She couldn’t go through the pain again.

When she finally stood up, she realized that her fall must’ve caused both boys to jump out of their seats.

“What are you guys doing?” she tried to ask as normally as possible.

“Ummmmmm…well, look at the time! I’m going to go to bed!” Ron spit out quickly, lifting his arms and pretending to yawn. “Goodnight!”

Y/N watched helplessly as the only buffer in the room left. Now what was she going to do?

“Y/N?” Harry spoke up, Y/N still looking at the stairs Ron had just ascended.

“Uhhhh, hi? I’ll just grab that thing that I forgot and get out of your way.” Y/N looked around, trying to find something in the Common Room that she could claim as hers.

“I can help you look. What did you forget?”

Shit! Y/N thought to herself. Why was he so helpful?

“I didn’t forget anything, Harry.” Y/N sighed. “I – I got your note. Hedwig popped in upstairs…”

“Oh? You did? Good. That’s good because I wanted to talk to you about the other weekend and this week.”

“You really don’t have to, Harry. I know Hermione put you up to this. It’s fine. I told you that last week. There’s nothing to talk –”

“Y/N, will you just let me say something?” Harry interrupted. Y/N closed her mouth and nodded.

“Hermione didn’t put me up to this. I should have realized that something was wrong all week. I’m just blind and an idiot and I’ve been busy and…” Harry looked up to see Y/N looking at the ground. “That’s beside the point and not an excuse. I should have said something last week when you opened up to me.”

Y/N lifted her eyes from the floor for a moment, waiting to hear what else he had to say because as of that moment, she did not have any words that would fit in quite yet.

“I did the worst thing possible for that situation. I’m sorry, but I thought everything was normal between us, at least, I let myself think that.”

Y/N couldn’t handle the rambling anymore. “What do you want to tell me, Harry? I should really get back upstairs. I can’t go through this again. Stop dragging it out!” Well that was courage that she didn’t know she had.

“Right, I’m sorry. I guess what I want to say is that I really didn’t know what to say then. You caught me by surprise…” Y/N stared at him. She obviously already knew this and at this point, the situation was just getting irritating. Was he going to break her heart or not?

“In reality, I’m just scared. We’ve been friends for so long. How do you stop being friends and begin being more than that? I don’t know. No one I know seems to be figuring it out,” he added in, rolling his eyes. Y/N couldn’t help but giggle. She knew he was talking about the undiscussed feelings between Ron and Hermione.

“And you’re just amazing at everything you do. I’m not. You deserve so much more.”

Y/N’s heart panged at his words. Of course he was going to break her heart. Why did she bother getting her hopes up even slightly?

Harry must’ve noticed the sudden change in demeanor of the girl standing a few meters away from her. He knew he needed to change his tactic. “You care so much about everyone that you love. I don’t know if I could be enough for you.”

“HARRY!” Y/N just couldn’t take it anymore. “These all sound like excuses and ways for you to soften the blow. Just tell me that you don’t want to be with me so that I can go back to moving on like I was trying to do for the past week, for the past two months really!!” Her heart raced and she could hear the blood pounding in her ears. Couldn’t she just go back upstairs and flop on her welcoming bed?

Harry stood, speechless for a moment too long. Y/N huffed and turned to go upstairs. This really wasn’t a great way to start her week, so why prolong it? But, before she could reach the steps, a hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back. Y/N closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was not going to cry.

“That’s not what I want though!” Harry blurted once Y/N turned to face him. “Y/N, I care about you so much. And I told you! I’m scared! These feelings scare me. What if something happens to you? It will all be my fault! I could never forgive myself.”

Y/N instinctively bit her lip, taking in his words. What could she say to that? She still wasn’t sure about any of this. Why had he waited a whole week?

“Say something?” he asked, eyes wide and looking at her hopefully.

“Oh? Say something? Maybe I should just nod and walk away. It seems to be really effective in avoiding situations,” Y/N scoffed. She could feel her walls going up. She knew she had avoided these feelings for so long and this was why.

“I was an idiot, Y/N! How was I supposed to tell you that? It would’ve just been easier to pretend that there was nothing between us. Then I wouldn’t have to think about what I’m feeling, let alone how I could potentially hurt you.”

Y/N could hear the sincerity in his voice.

“I don’t know what you want me to say now, Harry. You hurt me. You played with my heart all year. You had me thinking there was something when we were ‘just friends’ according to you. That hurts!” Y/N felt her voice waiver, but she was still set on not crying. She’d done more than enough of that.

Harry looked shocked. This was not what he was expecting obviously. Just a week ago, the girl of his dreams told him that she had feelings for him and he was too daft to say anything back. He screwed up, badly.

“My thoughts exactly,” Y/N spit as she began to pull away from him.

“No, wait. Don’t go.”

“What else is there to say?” Y/N asked, throwing her hands out to the side.

“Say, say that you still love me like I know you do. You may not have used those words, but I know you do. So that I can tell you that I love you and didn’t mean to play with your heart. It wasn’t fair of me because I didn’t know what to do with my own heart. And then I could pull you in and kiss your lips like I’ve wanted to again since two weeks ago, but didn’t.”

Y/N looked right into Harry’s green eyes. They looked as desperate as she had felt coming down the stairs earlier.

“Please, Y/N/N?” Harry asked again. “Please, because I love you…”

Y/N felt every time her chest rose and fell. She wanted this. She had wanted this for so long and now, here he was, fighting for her. It was literally like something she would see in one of those muggle movies, but why couldn’t she do it?

“Harry, I want to say it. I want to be in this moment with you. I haven’t wanted anyone like I’ve wanted you in so long, but you broke me. How can I trust that you aren’t going to want to be ‘just friends’ again next week?”

“You can trust me. I’m your best friend. You’ve always trusted me. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you went out with Smith. I did. And it made me so mad that it wasn’t me!” Harry continued to argue and explain. He realized that he should have said this all to you months ago.

Y/N sucked in a large amount of air, pulling her mouth muscles into her usual thinking face. What should she listen to? Her heart or her head. One telling her that this would be great and that they would be great together. The one telling her that this was what she had been wanting all year. Then there was the other side warning her that this could end in her hurt in just a few days. He didn’t seem so sure a week ago, why was he so sure now when he didn’t even realize how she was acting throughout the week?

Y/N looked down to where he was still holding her wrist. This wasn’t right. He should have found her days ago and said this. Or he should have said this when she poured herself out to him. He had every moment to do that!

Y/N shook her head. She had been right to tell Hermione earlier that this wasn’t a movie. It just wasn’t. He broke her trust and he broke her heart. But, she wasn’t going to do to him what he had done to her. She was going to tell him. She was going to break her own heart. And most importantly, she was going to give herself the chance and the opportunity to finally move on. Only she was going to be able to make that decision for herself.

“Harry, I just can’t do it. I dreamed about you coming to me, but it just doesn’t feel genuine. If this is how you actually felt, you would have said it last week. You aren’t that oblivious. You knew that was your chance if you wanted it too. I can’t just take you and pretend that you haven’t hurt me. Our chance is over. I’m sorry.”

At the end of her words, she looked up to meet Harry’s watering eyes. She’d seen so much joy in them in the past, but now all the pain in them was because of her. She couldn’t do it anymore. She needed to get out of the Common Room, but go where? All of her roommates were upstairs and it was well after curfew. Honestly, leaving and facing the possibility of detention sounded a lot better than a room full of girls.

“I– I have to go.” She pulled her wrist out of Harry’s grip and darted sideways towards the portrait hole. She flew out, not even stopping to see if the Fat Lady saw her, and climbed the stairs. She found herself in a 7th floor corridor before she even stopped to look around.

With eyes threatening to spill tears at any moment, Y/N fell to the floor. I just need somewhere to cry – she thought to herself as she began to sob. That’s when she felt the wall behind her start to shift. A small door appeared and without looking Y/N crawled inside. Once the door closed, she let her head rest against it and the tears fell in steady streams.

Rushing out of the Common Room so quickly, Y/N hadn’t seen Hermione and Ron emerge from their hiding places on the stairs. They found a stunned Harry, who was already beating himself up for how that went.

“Do I go after her?” he asked, tears starting to stream down his cheeks.

Hermione shook her head. “It’s after curfew and you have no idea where she went…”

“She’ll have to come back eventually mate,” Ron encouraged. “You could always just wait here.”

Harry nodded as he let Ron and Hermione direct him to the couch. Why had he been so impulsive? Why had he waited to begin with?

He sat there, staring as Ron and Hermione attempted to cheer him up. He knew that wouldn’t work. The only person who could make him happy ran from him. He blew it. He’d have to find a way to accept that, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to for a while. Not until she was at least his friend again because he couldn’t lose her all together.

______________________________________________________________________________

Y/N cried until she didn’t have any tears left. Once they ran dry, she only felt numb. She couldn’t go back to the Common Room now. Knowing how stubborn Harry is, he would still be sitting there, wanting to try all over again. Y/N couldn’t take another round of that tonight. I wish that this room had a bed – She thought to herself, finally looking around. Then, there in the corner, she saw a folded up cot. That would do. On one of the shelves, next to some tissues, she found a blanket and pillow. Okay. Now I just have to wake up early enough to sneak back in and get my books in the morning.

Feeling completely drained from the day, Y/N fell asleep quickly. She dreamed of nothing, which was a relief and in the morning, she decided that today was the day to start moving on. She would do it no matter how hard it was because this wasn’t a movie and she wasn’t going to wait around for someone who didn’t truly want her.

With that attitude in mind, Y/N quietly left the small room of requirement and tip toed back towards the Gryffindor Common Room. It was maybe 4:30 in the morning, so she hoped no one would be up for any reason. Giving the Fat Lady the password and receiving a slight scolding for waking her up so early, Y/N shut it silently behind her. Once in the Common Room, she could see that the coals of the fire were nearly burnt out, but there were three forms resting in the chairs in front of it – asleep.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile to herself? Had her friends been there all night? Did they really try to wait up for her? Okay…maybe seeing Harry sleeping there tensed and cold would make it a lot harder for her to move on. It was really sweet. She could only guess that Hermione was the one that kept the three from going to look for her. Y/N tip toed over to the three lumps as she summoned some blankets from the other side of the Common Room. She placed a blanket on both of them and took Harry’s glasses off his face. Then she saw the old piece of parchment open and clenched tightly in his fist.

Of course he’d pulled out the Marauder’s Map. She could now see where she was standing next to the three of them, but his finger was stationed at the entrance of where the room of requirement usually popped up. How did he know she would wind up there?

Y/N carefully pried the map out of Harry’s hands, so that she wouldn’t wake him up and mumbled “mischief managed” in order to make the parchment erase the lines of the castle and appear blank. Folding it and setting it next to his glasses, Y/N left the three and headed towards the stairs. But before she could get there, she heard movement. Not wanting to be noticed, she froze in her spot, hoping whoever it was had just been moving in their sleep.

“Y/N?” a soft voice rang out.

Y/N closed her eyes and scrunched up her face. So much for not being seen. Why had she gone over to her friends? Why hadn’t she just gone right upstairs?

Not knowing what else to do, Y/N turned back towards the fireplace to lock eyes with Harry’s, albeit sleepy, green eyes. He looked concerned and worried, but also happy and relieved at the same time. He picked up the glasses she had just taken off of his face and put them back on.

“Where did you go? Are you okay? We were worried when you didn’t come back,” he whispered, being mindful of the other two in the room.

“Uhhh, yeah. I just had to get away for a while and didn’t want to face a room full of girls…” she drew out, matching his soft voice.

“I understand. I wanted to come find you, but Hermione wouldn’t let us. I was going to sneak out after she went to bed, but then she stayed. Plus, she thought you may have gone to the room of requirement and said we wouldn’t be able to get to you if you didn’t want anyone bothering you…” Harry explained, recounting his night as quickly as possible.

“She sure does know me well,” Y/N replied, brushing one arm with her hand. When had it gotten so cold in here?

Harry must’ve noticed instantly because he immediately took off his jumper and tried to hand it to her.

“No, Harry, it’s okay. I’ll just go up to bed.”

Harry lowered the jumper, looking defeated. Now Y/N felt bad.

“Harry,” Y/N sighed. She had really wanted to avoid this.

“No, you don’t have to say it again. I heard you the first time. But, just let me say something?” Harry asked.

Y/N nodded in response.

“I don’t want to lose you. If you don’t want to be more than friends anymore, I understand. I was a complete prat, but I can’t lose you in my life. I still want you to be my friend. Of course, I won’t stop trying to prove myself to you, but that’s besides the point. I just need you with me in some way.” Harry’s eyes widened, begging her to understand. Of course she understood, that’s why she didn’t want to tell him how she felt to begin with. Why had she done that again?

“Of course I want to be in your life, Harry. I can’t imagine mine without you, but you might have to give me some space.” There she goes, continuing to put distance between them. Harry hated it.

“Well, how much space? Because we could keep that space to just the meter in between us across at the dinner table or…” Harry moved a little bit closer. Y/N was frozen in her spot. “Or, I could drop out of school and pretend not to go here for a month. I’ll go back to the Dursley’s if you need that much space.”

He moved towards her again. Y/N felt her heart thump in her chest. It was too early for this. She wasn’t in her right mind because it would just be so easy to give in to him right now. Why did his eyes have to melt her insides every time?

“Or, the only space could be the short distance when we sit next to each other in potions. Please, don’t go sit with the Slytherins again. Draco looked way too smug.” Y/N couldn’t help but smirk at that comment. He moved a few steps closer to her again. “Or, we could just forget the space…” Why oh why did he do this to her? By this point, Harry was towering over Y/N, pretty much daring her to look up at him and meet his eyes.

Y/N could feel his breath near her skin. It was warm and slow. She knew that he was waiting for her to do something. Common Y/N, just do something! – she thought. Shit! She gave in, she looked up to meet his eyes. There was a determination she had never seen in them before. It bared into her soul. She instinctively bit her lip, she couldn’t help it. She always did it when she was nervous.

She watched as Harry’s eyes wandered down her face and to her lips, then back up to her eyes. Damnit, she was going to give in.

Softer than she had ever spoke, she whispered, “Maybe, space is a little overrated…”

That was all he needed to crash his lips onto hers. His hands found their way to the nook between her face and neck and he pulled her closer to deepen the kiss. It felt like so much more than any kiss they had shared before.

Y/N was the first to pull away, breath heavy. “This is not what I had in mind when I told myself I was going to move on,” she whispered.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “No, probably not, but this way is definitely better for me,” he smirked.

Y/N let her hand move up to hold one of his, both of which were still holding her face. No, things that happen in movies don’t usually happen in real life, but maybe this was the exception. Maybe, this was her movie.

#harry potter x reader #harry potter #harry potter fic #angst #fluff #harry potter x gryffindor!reader #ron weasley x reader #hermione grander x platonic!reader #fred weasley x reader #goldentrio #golden trio #new fic #draco malfoy x reader #hp fanfic #hp #kalimagik

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paisley-print · 3 years

Text

3:00am : George Strait Sang It Better.

About: The two of you make your way home from the bar...

Rating: SFW

Word count: 1635

Characters: Agent Whiskey x Reader

Warnings: HEAVY ANGST I AM SO SORRY (no I’m not hehehe), Curse words, fluff, mentions of death, grief, mentions of alcohol, mentions of vom*t ,implied age gap.

NOTE: Not me making myself cry....not that. Also I love country music y'all can square up on me if you like. I find it funny how I am turning this satire of a character into a Nicholas sparks protagonist. Wild.

MIDNIGHT MASTER LIST

3:00am : George Strait Sang It Better

“I’m not drunk.”

Jack had you slung over his shoulder “I don’t believe that’s a correct statement.”

“Are you proud of me for beating all those guys at pool?”

“Are you kidding? Of course I am sugar, you know…. I think the whole bar was lookin’ to take you home after that.”

Jack had spent most of the night sitting back and watching you interact with the other patrons. How you flitted about like a little fairy; all giddy and flushed from the alcohol. He enjoyed seeing men and women ogle over you. The looks on their faces when he scooped you up to leave was priceless.

“Wha?! No! Only you can take me home!”

He smirked “that is right babygirl- only me.”

You giggled and whispered to him, “Jack?”

He whispered back to you “what?”

“May I smack your ass please?”

You heard him chuckle “only cuz you asked so nicely.”

You gave his ass a light tap “boop”

“Excuse me mam I said smack not a boop. My ass is too incredible to have it booped.”

“Well, I booped you- watcha gonna do about it?”

“Might not help you take off your makeup when we get home.”

You gasped dramatically, “you wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me honey,” he shot back.

You cleared your throat, “wait, put me down.”

His brows knit together, “you gotta throw up?”

You hummed in response.

He took you by the waist and placed you down, keeping his hands there to make sure you didn’t take a header into the brick wall.

Before he could react you flashed him a bright grin, broke from his touch and proceeded to skip down the street. It took him a second to realize he had been conned; he had to jog a little to keep up with you. “Girl, where in the hell do you think you’re goin’?....... y/n?”

“Do you hear that?” You asked, rounding the corner onto a totally empty side street. This side of town was mostly strip malls and county buildings. A record store was playing music from inside...it floated through the street and echoed lazily into the humid June night. “My father used to sing this song to me.”

The song was a cover of ‘Cross My Heart’ written by George Strait but sung by Dierks Bentley. “God I haven’t heard this song in years” you breathed, making your way into the street and laying down under the streetlamp. You sang along, “I cross my heart And promise to, Give all I’ve got to give, To make all your dreams come true.”

Jack stood off to the side, getting more and more frustrated. “I’m not gonna scrape you off the sidewalk if you get hit.”

You laughed, unable to see that he was upset…. “hit by what? All the cars?” The street was completely deserted, most everybody was home in bed. “You will always be the miracle, That makes my life complete, And as long as there’s a breath in me, I’ll make yours just as sweet.”

Jack shook his head, shifting uneasily on his feet.

It was an absolutely beautiful night- full moon, warm, not a single cloud obstructing the sky. You gasped and sat up “Jack please dance with me!”

“I’m tired, put your shoes on- let’s go-”

You gave him the puppy dog eyes “but it’s perfect! The song is almost over anyway-”

He snapped, losing his temper and shouting at you. “What part of I’m fucking tired do you not understand? Come get your shoes and stop acting like a goddamn child!”

You stared at him wide eyed while the music played on. The two of you had little spats in the past….but you had never seen him do anything close to that. Sobriety struck you in an instant. You held tears back and pulled yourself from the asphalt. Silently, you took your shoes from him and placed them on your feet.

His tone was still a little harsh but not nearly as bad as before, “you want me to carry you?”

“No” you said quickly “I can walk - thank you.”

Jack pulled the car to a stop at an empty intersection and waited for the light to turn green.

You were the first one to speak “sometimes I get too excited and act stupid... I apologize for not listening to you when you said you wanted to go. I’ll listen better next time.”

He sighed and hesitated, “I’m sorry I didn’t dance with you.”

You shrugged, “it’s okay, you were tired...plus George Strait sang it better anyway.”

“No, it’s not that-”

You could tell that he was fighting something, but you didn’t know what. His lack of verbal communication frustrated you at times, however it was something you had been learning to accept. Each day you noticed his tells and from those you would peace together how he was feeling. He would get boisterous when he was nervous, silent when he was focused, chatty when content...so on and so forth.

Although you would rather him tell you these things, you understood that he was a man raised in a way that forbade overly emotional declarations. He was getting better the safer he felt with you and it was okay that he wasn’t perfect with it just yet. Jack had spent years shutting people out, it was going to take time for him to break the habit.

“-that was my wedding song,” he confessed.

You nodded slowly, showing him that you were listening.

“You looked so fuckin’ beautiful and just - happy…….” he sighed again. “It’s uh- do you know that the two of you share the same birthday? I didn’t realize it until the other day when you mentioned yours …...three hundred and sixty five days in a year, what are the fuckin’ odds?”

The light turned but he didn’t move, he was staring transfixed at the road - his mind somewhere far. You watched him remember her and a life that no longer existed. He always had a certain look about him when he was thinking of her. You couldn't really put it into words; he just seemed so at peace with the world….like the burden of loss wasn't weighing him down.

His hands gripped the wheel tighter “the birthday you have coming up will make you one year older than she ever got to be…. It’s like one day I woke up and twenty-four years have come and gone overnight.”

He started to choke up a little, but fought against it. “ I don’t know why it just hit me all of a sudden. I can go weeks, months, without feeling upset. Then one little thing just sets it off and everything comes rushing back at once…. and it hurts the same way it did then.”

His breathing hitched in his chest, you could tell that he was probably on the verge of a panic attack.

You placed a hand on his leg “hey-”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That wasn’t right….. I’m not that person-”

“It’s alright-”

“No it’s not. I’m sorry if I scared you and I’m sorry that I’m talkin’ about this. I know you probably don’t want to hear it-”

“Jack” you spoke softly in an attempt to stop his spiraling. “I always want to hear about what you’re going through. No matter what it is…..your wife, she sounds amazing.”

He reached down to take your hand, squeezing it gently.

You brushed your thumb across his knuckles. “If you ever need to talk about her you can, I hope you know that. And what you said about it all rushing back….grief is not linear. It's not something that has a start and end...instead it’s like a box with a little ball inside. Every time the ball hits the side of the box you feel upset. Like tonight-”

Your other hand reached up to tuck a little strand of hair behind his ear, while you went on… “At first the box is tiny and the ball hits the sides of it often. However as time goes on the box gets bigger. Meaning that the ball has much more space to travel until it hits the sides.”

You paused for a moment to let him follow along. “You grew up with her; she is literally woven into the fabric of your soul. You are allowed to miss her and miss her deeply. Even after all this time. It is okay. In the same breath though, you are also allowed to be happy. I know you carry around guilt - I see it in you constantly……. but there was nothing you could have done Jack.”

You placed a finger under his chin and turned his head to face you, “and you didn’t scare me. You just caught me off guard is all.”

“I wish I danced with you,” he said softly.

“We’ll have plenty of time to dance, Jack.”

He looked so utterly exhausted; you dropped your hand to let him focus back on the road. “Yeah” he agreed, then lifted his foot off the break to continue on.

The open windows let wind rush through the cabin. He kept a tight hold on your hand, it was the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment.

An idea surfaced in your mind…. “I think we should include her this year. We can pick up some flowers - maybe a little toy for the baby, and have a picnic. I’ll make cupcakes and we can blow out a candle for her as well ….would that be something you want to do?”

He rubbed his eyes and nodded.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Thank you.”

You smiled softly “you don’t have to thank me Jack.”

#Jack Daniels x you #Whiskey x you #Agent whiskey x Reader #Agent whiskey x you #Agent whiskey fanfic #Kingsmen Fanfiction #Kingsmen Fanfic #Pedro fanfic #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Pedro Pascal Fanfiction #long live the queue

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incarnateirony · 3 years

Note

idk if you are on twitter, but there's a journalist named Natalie fisher that basically just said we should believe that episode 18 was mishas last? on one hand a lot of the analysis you provide makes sense, but also like,, she is a journalist so idk what to do with this information

...Listen, I’m going to tell you something.

Someone literally told that same journalist exactly what was going to happen in the 15.18 confession scene before it happened and she argued with them that it wasn’t going to happen.

I only know this because a friend explicitly asked me if they were allowed to tell her our exclusive leak which was different from the original script leak but had to do with a fluke interception of the episode in transit. Because other countries exist that dub the show. But of course you can't just swing that around, so it was proposed, and apparently, she sat there refusing it. Well, we tried.

Our own server was so damn well prepared the bot was coded to link a Whitney Houston song any time someone yelled WHITNEY, as was expected inevitable, because the general vibe was

An entire server of clowns had like 60 memes ready. But here she is, arguing. With someone who knew better. For 2 months. Condescendingly even. Like wow that's stupid it would never be that loud ignore it lolol.

In fact in her misguided confidence she basically gaslit both herself and the friend to the point the friend rolled back what they believed and started questioning if it was a translation issue since it didn't arrive in english and maybe cas reall WASN'T going to tell dean he had always loved him and tell him why he deserves it before the empty takes him.

Uhhh...

So like.

Take it with a grain of salt.

Natalie is usually good, for the record. Among journalists, she’s okay. She’s even friends with Meredith. But that said Meredith clearly didn’t tell her that, and that had been planned from go. She’s been stonewalled, she’s not getting screeners, she’s not getting intel, she’s /just as blind as you are right now./

Also her own logic is self-contradicting. What she is functioning on is anxiety.

Just like everybody else. She’s not used to flying blind. She’s used to knowing exactly what’s going on. She’s not used to doing fandom CSI and frankly, she even has been known to uh, borrow meta, but most meta right now is “DeanCas?” and she doesn’t want to do that because “getting up people’s hopes” or whatever. So she doesn’t have her direct feed line, she doesn’t have her screeners, she doesn’t have her normal press access and she doesn’t even have content to lift.

Summarily: she has no idea how to function right now, and I actually mean that in the kindest way.

As for that conflicting logic? Read her thread and apply your brain.

She acknowledges that Misha said he was going to be filming 5 more days after episode 18.

She then says that covid might have changed it.

She then also says that the reason he can’t come back is actually because that would just about demand reciprocation from Dean which, she personally believes they can’t do (just like she didn’t believe a week and a half ago that they were going to do ... uh, 15.18.)

Okay, so riddle me this: if the logic is that Misha can’t come back cuz it’s too gay, what does covid have to do with that change, and why would that change from literally the day after they filmed 15.18?

Logic people. Use it. Stop letting anxiety drive your CPU.

Like either they had a way to handle it or they didn't. You don't cut one of your leads for extras after a major plot decision. And she even breaks out the stupid HE WAS FILMING A DIFFERENT MOVIE THATS WHY HE WAS IN VAN line.

Protip: spn was the only thing back in production then. They were the first ones back and a testing ground for Vancouver protocol.

Protip: the Amazon movie he's filming is filmed in the US

Protip: he went through multiple beard and haircut waves between each of these events, changing for each role.

What this actually means is, in lieu of actual sources, she's lifting fandom created noises that simple checks shoot down (eg being in van before van filming opened to film a us movie that didn't start filming for weeks even after his covid quarantine period in the wrong goddamn fucking country). Fandom, so goddamn desperate to find some validation for noise, decides to ascribe extra meaning to words and ideas they themselves halfassedly created and got a confused fandom journo to repeat in lieu of other sources. This is like the Trump Fox loop.

Pls ppl i beg you to use your braincases.

Like us, sitting here staring into the abyss of a transcript of not just words but events, trying to shoot holes in the source for months, peering into the abyss of the chain link saying "Destiel is going canon" (though i disagree with the fandom use of the term still) and even we weren't ready for the merch line that Stands had planned for a year and a half and also not told anyone.

Is this a way to promise your specific destiel goalpost is hit, no. But it's a point that currently she knows no more than you do, she has been violently wrong on just this topic matter recently, and her points don't even MAKE SENSE.

As it is, even on set leakers have been wrong. The original march leak came attached to a statement of having read 19 and Cas not even being mentioned. How did that work out for you?

But sure. They decided a groundbreaking swing for Cas with marketing for Dare To Defy everyone called queerbait that he and Jensen were both put in and a full planned merch line but stopped their plans because of the gay covid.

Again, do i promise your personal destiel landmark, no. Am i confident that Misha will be in the finale? Absolutely. If you remember in regards to destiel, before the season started, I commented that with the change in WB leadership, having its first woman CEO, having more women, people of color, and lgbtq people in high-ranking positions that ever, they're repackaging plan to recover from the AT&T bounce, the complete crash out of CEOs in their child and sister companies, and more, Anything Could Happen. I believe I used the term, it is a roll of the dice. Somewhere in the depths of my blog from season 14 and 15 Hiatus is the phrase, with the right roll of the dice, we could do anything. That line, from the god corporate told them in s11 they couldn't kill so they would find another way, has still slapped the taste out of my mouth from the Trap.

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steve0discusses · 3 years

Text

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

youtube

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

#yugioh #ygo #yu gi oh #photo recap #recap #episode recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Apdnarg #Grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #professor hawkins #and then I ranted about BTS #but please don't quiz me about BTS I know nothing about them aside from the music #I actually thought there were over 12 of them because every time I see them perform it feels like an entire stageplay production of people #like a 101 dalmations situation where every time I saw BTS there were 3 new people #I assumed it was like the Gorrilaz where people just show up and then disappear in a rotation #but no. There's 7 BTS members #that can't be right #there has to be more than 7 #is this a berenstein bears situation?#how is there only 7?#I swear there used to be like 16 #and they would be introduced like here's jimin and Jungkook and red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and pea #like is google seriously telling me there's only 7 kids in this band?#this is the biggest scam google has ever played on me #this weird alternate timeline that not only has an epidemic but also only 7 members of BTS

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

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Tsukki fanfic owo S/o is always loving and caring towards tsukki but one day tsukki keeps being emotionless and neglecting s/o. He thinks that s/o will always be there cuz s/o has always been the one saying how much she loves him. But s/o gets mad cuz it was a bad day and tsukki is still emotionally off. S/o ain’t like screaming or anything but silently crying cuz that’s how tsukki is and thinks that she should take care of her own emotions. Tsukki sees this and opens up about being stoic.

Heyyy if you’re taking requests for tsukki fic, can you do a wholesome tsukki and s/o kinda thing. I wanna have one where tsukki laughs and enjoys his time with s/o. like he secretly thinks a lot about how much he loves s/o. idk but I just wanna read fanfic where tsukki laughs and smiles a lot :”)

okay i know these two were probably sent by two diff. people but i kind of wanted to do both of these in one, slightly long drabble hehe. i hope you all like this i had a ton of fun thinking of it and writing it :). also, i made reader a university professor because that’s an occupation i’m more familiar with. and,,, i hope this is what you were looking for ? (i kind of went off a bit ahh i’m sorry!)

You and Tsukishima struggling with being around each other 24/7 during quarantine

(feat. arguing, pen-clicking, and then some singing and fluff later on)

between you and tsukishima, it was him who predicted that the pandemic would inevitably lead to a long lockdown period where you two would have to live in the same space, twenty-four hours a day. it was your one ray of light during that dark time when the world was essentially on fire. you and tsukishima tended to have busy work schedules with him at the museum and you teaching at the nearby university so you saw the lockdown period as a way to spend more time with your boyfriend.

the first few weeks were fine aside from the constant caution whenever you or tsukishima went out for groceries. neither of you had work yet with the university and museum still adjusting so you two spent the time learning how to bake bread, sleeping in until noon, and staying up late, curled up on the couch and re-watching the Jurassic Park series.

the next few weeks were... less than fine. both of you had to get back to work, which meant a whole lot of online meetings. tsukishima spent hours working on the new online exhibits that the museum was doing while you were grading papers for days. that’s when you started picking up on some of the annoying things that your boyfriend did, like: not putting the milk back in the fridge, hogging the blankets when you guys slept, and playing the music on his headphones really loud that you had to remove them yourself to talk to him. but you weren’t the only one picking on annoying habits. tsukishima felt that he was just now realizing how many products you had in the bathroom that he couldn’t even find his own shampoo. he hated that you always finished the hot sauce by dumping two tablespoons on your food whenever you ate. and he absolutely loathed the sound of you frantically clicking your pen whenever you were stressed.

but, those few weeks were still somewhat alright. the two of you either dealt with things by talking it out or just ignoring them altogether. tsukishima would still carry you to be whenever you passed out on the dining table and you still made him an extra cup of coffee in the afternoon.

and then, the next few weeks happened. at this point, tsukishima barely had any work to do with the museum’s online exhibit up, except for answering the occasional dumb question on their website. he spent most of the day pacing the house, looking for something to do unless he was going to lie in bed while blasting music. you, on the other hand, were chest-deep in writing course packs, syllabi, compiling readings, emailing students, and conducting online classes. almost everything you two did led to you or tsukishima jumping at the other’s throats.

and that’s when the metaphorical shit hit the metaphorical fan.

you were in the middle of checking papers, knowing very well that your deadline was fast approaching and if you wanted your students to get on with their next task, you had to send them the drafts of their papers as soon as possible. as per your usual habit when you were stressed out, you were clicking your favorite violet pen like crazy. tsukishima, who was at his desk on the other side of the room that you two shared as your office, could feel his sanity hanging by a thread that was unraveling with every click of your pen. and you were clicking your pen a lot.

‘it’s their nervous habit, it’s their nervous habit, it’s their nervous habit,’ tsukishima repeated as he closed his eyes and increased the volume of the music he was listening to in hopes to drown out the sound.

click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-cl--

“can you not?” tsukishima tugged his headphones off and swiveled around to yell at you. the sudden volume of your boyfriend’s voice made you jump in your seat but unable to react fast enough when tsukishima stood up and plucked the purple pen from your hands.

on any other day, you would have simply apologized and reasoned with tsukishima about your nervous habit. but, you weren’t grading a shit ton of papers on any other day.

“easy for you to say when you don’t have all these papers to grade!” you stood up and looked at your scowling boyfriend right in the eye. both of you had dark circles under your eyes and unwashed hair and neither of you cared. “why don’t you get out of the room if it’s so damn annoying?”

“maybe it’s because i also live here and i have every right to be comfortable in the office without having to hear the sound of your pen 24/7!” tsukishima yelled.

“well it’s not like you have anything important to work on,” you snapped, putting emphasis on ‘important’. that struck a vein with tsukishima and you could see the irritated quirk of his eyebrows.

“are you saying that i’m useless here?” he said slowly and menacingly. “it’s not my fault that the fucking museum isn’t open at this time.”

“i’m not saying that but it sure would be nice for you to give me a helping hand once in a while when you know what i’m going through,” you huffed. you knew that you two were straying far away from the discussion about your pen-clicking habits but all those weeks of putting up with each other’s habits and other frustrations were bubbling from the surface.

“don’t you think i wish i could just take a break from all this? it sure would be nice if you just asked me how i was doing or cooked dinner more than just a few times a week!” you yelled.

“what am i, your mom?” tsukishima scoffed.

“no, you’re my boyfriend,” you emphasized. “and you’re just supposed to do things like that especially when you know what i’m going through. like, i get that you like keeping to yourself most of the time and you’re not super into cuddles or anything but, i don’t know, a ‘how are you?’ once in a while would be fucking great!” you gasped for air after your rant ended. for a fraction of a second, tsukishima looked almost sad or sorry and you began to hope that maybe you got through him. but, as quickly as it came, tsukishima scowled and turned away.

“if dinner’s what you want then fine, i’ll make something later. but for the love of god, stop clicking your fucking pen,” he sighed and sat at his desk before putting the headphones over his ears. you fumed at his indifference, you could practically feel your face heat up from anger. in a few strides, you crossed the room to his desk.

“we’re not done talking tsukishima!” you yelled over how loudly you knew tsukishima was blasting his music. in one quick motion, you unplugged the aux cord of his headphones.

unluckily for tsukishima, his phone did That Thing called ‘Playing Your Music Out Loud After Removing the Headphone Jack’ that he desperately avoided again and again by constantly lowering the volume on his phone before removing his headphones. even more unluckily for him, he was blasting his playlist full of taylor swift songs that had somehow held his sanity for the past few weeks.

and you, a sworn taylor swift fan, heard the very familiar opening track of ‘Wildest Dreams’.

both of you were quiet as the intro played, both very shocked from the sudden interruption that had broken your heated argument. and then, tsukishima reacted by reaching for his phone. unluckily for him again, you reacted faster and grabbed the phone first.

“no way,” you exclaimed as you opened his playlist and scrolled through the songs, your anger quickly forgotten.

“y/n, give it back!” tsukishima gritted his teeth and swiped at the phone in your hand. he could feel his own face heating up from embarrassment at his secret being revealed.

“why are you embarrassed about it? it’s cute! you should have told me way sooner and we could have listened to folklore together,” you grinned at him. “and i love this song. ‘you said let’s get out of this town--’”

“give it!” tsukishima grabbed the phone out of your hand while you were distracted singing.

“no, no, no! don’t pause it! i love this!” you whined, grabbing at his arm as he sat down. tsukishima was one press of a thumb away from ending your enjoyment. but, it was exactly that which stopped him from pressing ‘pause.’ now that he thought about it, when was the last time he heard you laugh.

and besides, ‘Wildest Dreams’ was a good song.

“come on tsukki,” you grinned cheekily. “look! it’s about you! ‘he’s so taaalll and handsome as heeeellll,’” you sang, trying to reach taylor’s high notes.

“do you realize how embarrassing you’re being right now?” tsukishima sighed, but the hand over his mouth hiding the grin on his face betrayed how flattered he was.

“sing with me! sing with me!” you chanted, jumping up and down on the balls of your feet. “come on, nobody’s watching! in case you haven’t realized it, it’s literally been just us here.”

tsukishima looked at you. he wasn’t that unhinged from the lockdown yet that he would start singing taylor swift out loud.

but the ecstatic look on your face was something that he undoubtedly missed, along with his favorite strawberry shortcake at the cafe you two frequented. and you were right. it was just the two of you.

“...say you’ll remember me,” he sang softly. the grin on your face widened and you let out a giggle before joining him.

“standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset babe,” you sang. tsukishima smiled freely as he sang and watched you enjoy yourself. and then, you held at his hands and tugged him from the chair.

“what are you doing?”

“we’re going to dance. duh.”

“wh-what? no!” tsukishima shook his head even as you successfully tugged him out of his chair. “singing is one thing and dancing is another thing.”

“think of it as more like, you already sang so might as well dance,” you smirked at him. tsukishima stubbornly kept still even while you held his hands and swayed from side to side. “tsukkiiiiiii,” you whined when he still refused to move. you kept swaying while pouting up at your boyfriend. finally, he let out a sigh and put a hand behind your back before pulling you closer to him.

“that’s not how you dance, idiot,” he muttered.

“so... you’re going to show me how?” you smiled cheekily. tsukishima rolled his eyes but proceeded to sway you back and forth as he hummed along to the music. you enjoyed the slow dance before, without warning, tsukishima grinned and spun you around.

“hey!” you laughed, feeling yourself stumble before being pulled back into tsukishima’s arms.

“what? i thought you wanted to dance?” this time, it was his turn to smile cheekily at you.

“yeah but--” you were cut off with tsukishima spinning you around again. “tsukki-- i-- stop!!” you attempted to say in between your boyfriend laughing and repeatedly spinning you around.

“stop! i’m dizzy!” you erupted into fit of laughter as you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend to stop him from spinning you again. “where the hell did you learn that?”

“mom always had this thing where she would suddenly dance during christmas and new years when she had too much to drink,” tsukishima smiled at the memory as his hands circled around you. “usually, it was akiteru who she pulled to dance. i kind of, picked up a thing or two.”

“hmmmm, a new fact about tsukki,” you hummed and looked up at him. “i’ve learned two new facts today.”

“two new facts that you’re going to keep secret,” he emphasized, flicking you lightly on the forehead.

“yeah, yeah. you can stop burying yourself in your headphones now and blast your favorite artist on loudspeaker,” you sang.

“fine,” he muttered, wrapping his arms around you tighter. tsukishima realized that he hadn’t hugged you like this in a while. hell, you two hadn’t had this kind of break in a while. after weeks of feeling like he was ‘putting up’ with you, tsukishima remembered what he was doing sharing a living space with you in the first place.

“hey... i’m actually not that bad at grading papers. like, i know grammar and how to write a proper argument. also, i had to tutor two idiots throughout high school,” tsukishima said. you looked up at him with a relieved smile on your face. tsukishima felt a knot in his chest loosen. maybe he should have offered that weeks ago.

“that would be great, tsukki,” you smiled. “i’ll... try not to click my pen too much.”

“yes please,” tsukishima sighed with relief and let you go. “i’m getting some water from the kitchen. need anything?”

“some tea would be great right now,” you nodded and sat back in your chair.

“got it,” tsukishima nodded and started for the door. but before he left, you called out to him.

“love you, kei.”

tsukishima smiled as he reached for the doorknob. “love you too, y/n.”

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart@akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan@therainroguefanfiction@atetiffdoesart@stephdaninja@oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469@tremblinghearts @applepienation also you @janellion because you’re responsible for any swiftie!tsukki content that i write from now on

#haikyuu!!#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #haikyuu!! drabble #haikyuu!! fanfic #haikyuu!! requests #i absolutely loved writing this in case you couldn't tell #i want to sing and dance with tsukki ;-;#also if you want something fluffier maybe i could do that ?

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avungerthatgotaway · 3 years

Text

Baby it's the Sign of the Times

Eyoo guyzz! This is a new oneshot, I hope you like this❄ I'm currently rewriting my Hawkeye fic, so I'm not gonna post that one for a little. This one is a bit longer than my previous ones.

I totally recommend you to listen to this song while reading, even if you're not a fan of Harry's. It will really help the mood.

I don't own anything, even tho I'd like to have a few... choice words with Russo brothers about endgame...👍🏼🤔

Warnings: none

Summary: events when Peggy dies, mainly before Steve goes to London, and you comfort him. (I know it's stupid summary, but I don't want to spoil it, sorry)

Genre: angst

I don't mention civil war at all. No other avengers are at Peggy's funeral. There are no romantical pairings, and Sharon is not mentioned cuz she doesn't fit in the storylineeee.

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She's gone.

In her sleep.

This words crushed Steve inside. He knew this was coming, but he'd never be ready for it, no matter what.

When he came from ice, he met her again. He knew they could never be together. No matter his actual age, Steve still had a full life in front of him. Unfortunately, same couldn't be told for Peggy.

Oh Peggy... She was always his ray of sunshine. Even through darkest of days. It is a cliché, but she was.

Was.

She is gone now.

Why did she have to go? Why didn't he get to spend a life with her? Steve's biggest wish was, and always will be, to spend a happy life with her. He didn't want any of this famous captain shit. He wanted a house in a village and 2 kids with Peggy. And a little dog. Or they'd be of service, and fight next to each other. Nevermind, Steve wanted a life with Peggy. For them to watch each other go grey. Maybe he could've been there for her as a husband now, through her sickness. Or maybe he'd be the one to go first. But still, that'd be a life...

One tear slipped down his rosy cheek, the other one following. Soon he had tearstains on his cheeks, but he didn't care. It was a silent cry. Those carry the most pain.

"Eyo, capsicle! You good there?" Tony snapped him outta his thoughts. Steve forgot the whole team was in the room. Fortunately, he was turned, so they were facing his back. He just couldn't talk to anyone right now.

"Yea yea, I'm good. I gotta go." he quickly got up and exited the room. He climbed up the stairs 2 more floors, but his toughts started haunting him again.

He's going on a plane tomorrow morning to say goodbye for the last time. Oh God, even thinking of a last time kills Steve inside. It's pretty late, but he didn't know what to do until morning. Sleeping wasn't an option, he knew that much. He gave in to overthinking again.

Of Peggy. Of her life. Of what could've happened if he didn't freeze...

"Just stop your crying, it's a sign of the times..."

"...welcome to the final show..."

"...I hope you're wearing your best clothes..."

Steve heard a silent piano in the background, and he heard an angelic voice. He still had tearstained cheeks, but he needed to hear what the voice had to say.

"...you can't bribe the door on your way to the sky..."

He was still clutching his cellphone in his hand, while following the voice. He came in front of Y/N's room. Y/N was a 16 year old avenger. She was very mature and wise for her age.

Her door was opened, and he just leaned against the doorframe, listening to her beautiful voice.

"...if we never learn, we been here before..."

"... why are we always stuck and running from the bullets..."

"...they told me that the end is near..."

Steve was crying a river at this point, and he didn't care. First shock was wearing out, and silent cries became little sobs. Yet, not loud enough for Y/N to hear.

"...just stop your crying, baby it'll be alright..."

"...we got to get away..."

She played final chords on piano, and then she turned around.

2nd person POV

You were singing "Sign of the times" and playing your piano. You loved this song. It was helping you relax, the melody was perfect. During the few last, silent piano chords, you tought you heard something. You softly finished and turned around. It was Steve.

But not the Steve you knew. This one had red puffy eyes, swollen from crying. He was sobbing quietly, trying to stop the sobs, but he couldn't.

You slowly came up to him, like to a wounded animal. He was just so hurt, you could see it in his eyes. You felt bad for him, but you wanted to know what happened. Who could hurt Stevie so badly.

"What happened, Big Guy?" you asked him. Steve just kept on sobbing even harder.

You moved him a little, so he was in your room, and you closed the door. You lead him to your bed, and sit on it, next to him. He was clutching his phone tightly in his hand, so you lifted his hand and gently tried to take it. He wouldn't let it go. You don't wanna pressure him, but whatever is on that phone is causing him this much distress.

"Stevie, cmon big babe" you cooed and rubbed the back of his hand with your thumbs. It may sound strange so someone, but Stevie really was like a big baby, so fluffy and vunerable inside.

He gave in and the phone just slipped from his hand in yours. You read the text and everyting was clear right away. You knew he went to visit Peggy in hospital, you didn't know she was this bad. I mean, Steve and you were close, but still that's too personal. You felt sooo sorry for him. He didn't deserve it. Not now. Not ever.

"Ohh, I'm so sorry Stevie..."

You immidiately hugged him close to you. He burried his head in your shoulder and neck, crying his eyes out, but at the same time trying not to cry. At least not to sob.

"Stevie, bear, it's okay to cry. Just let it all out."

That was all he needed. He started crying and sobbing uncontrollably, and your shirt was soaked in his tears. You didn't mind it tho, if it'll help him to feel better afterwards, he can cry as much as he needs.

After some time he lifted his head and looked into your eyes with his puffy baby blues.

"I'm sorry, Flower, I-I ju-ust can't believe s-s-she's go-one-e" he was still crying. You could see how much Peggy meant to him. You hugged him again, tugging at his hair softly to comfort him.

"Hey, hey no need to apologise Stevie. You cry yourself out, it'll help you. I'm here for you, Bear."

"T-tha-ank you. A-and and please... ca-can you-u not tell a-anyone about he-er ye-et..."

"Shhhh, Bear, I won't tell anyone about her. You wait until you're ready." you whispered.

You understood him. Not everyone in the team knew Peggy existed. And now telling them that she died, and what happened with them would be too much for Steve.

"T-thanks"

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." you whispered. You whispered to soothe him, you didn't know what to do when someone's loved one dies. But you wanted to be there for Steve so badly. Little did you know that what you did was just perfect for Steve.

Steve at first felt ashamed, because he cried in front of Y/N. But she talked just enough, whispering soothingly. He didn't have streinght to act like a big guy anymore. He craved comfort so badly, and he got it from Y/N. It felt nice.

Back to 2nd person POV

Something was bothering you. Steve didn't want anyone to know about Peggy's death which meant he was probably going to funeral alone. You didn't want that for him. At least he needed someone to be with afterwards. You knew Steve and how sensitive he was. You didn't want to think of things going through his head while he's alone after funeral. But if it was in London, as you tought it was, you had a plan.

"Stevie?" you said quietly playing with his hair a little.

"Mhm?" he asked, face still in your shoulder.

"When is Peggy's funeral? Is anyone going with you?" you asked. He lifted his head a little.

"T-tomorrow. L-london. And no. It's too much-h t-trouble for anyone. And I know it is Y/N, do-don't try to o--object" he smiled through his tears. You smiled back at him, your own eyes glistening with tears a little, but you didn't want him to notice.

He burried his head in your shoulder and neck again, like it was his safeplace, and he just cried. You couldn't imagine where those tears come from.

You softly stroked his short blonde locks, and started singing.

"Just stop your crying, it's the sign of the times...

...welcome to the final show

...I hope you're wearing your best clothes..."

Half into the song, you felt more weight on your shoulder. You looked down, and realised Steve fell asleep. You pressed one kiss to his temple, and moved him, so he was lying in your bed.

"Good night, Stevie Bear." you whispered.

When you exited your room quietly, you immediately called your best friend, Jon.

It was 2am, but you and Jon were just the best friends, you could call him whenever, and other way around.

Him and his family were going to London, and he invited you to go with them. You declined the offer, because you had to study so. so. much. But this was way more important.

"Heey, Jonny. Is that London offer still on?

Great. When are you going?

Ohhh, in 2 hours?

Yea, I'll be there. Thanks

And by the way, I'll have somewhere to go to tomorrow, around 4pm, I hope you guys don't mind.

Ohh cool. Thank you bruhhhh. Byee"

Great news. They still had a plain ticked to spare, and they'll pick you up soon.

You quickly packed your stuff, careful not to wake up Stevie. Poor baby. With everything he's been through, and now his Peggy dies...

You tell JARVIS to tell Tony you're in your friends house, and to wake up Steve 'round 6am. His flight was in 7. You knew this, and which Church it was in at what time because you did a little research. Aka, asked JARVIS for help. AI already heard everything, so it wasn't news.

You left the tower and went to meet up with Jon and his family.

Steve woke up by alarm ringing at 6am. He immediately realised he's not in his room. He was in Y/N's. And then he remembered how you comforted him. He was so thankful for you. Even though, you weren't here, and it was confusing. You probably went to sleep on the couch, or in some other room, and Steve felt bad about it. He quickly got ready, and tried to find you, so he could get you back to your bed. Fortunately JARVIS easened his search.

"Mr. Rogers, ms. L/N went on a trip with her friend a few hours ago."

"Oh. Thanks JARVIS." Steve said, and left the building. You didn't mention any trips, but then again, you two didn't talk anything except Peggy tonight.

(timeskip to Peggy's funeral, cuz no one wants to listen about the trip now)

3rd person POV

It's so devastating to attend a funeral on your own.

Even more so if it's a funeral of your lost loved one.

Maybe Steve should've brought someone with him. For comfort. At least to feel the familiar presence. He carried Peggy's coffin, and it was enough to make him feel empty and sad. It was nearing to the end of funeral, and Steve didn't want to be alone. He wanted comfort. Like when Y/N comforted him last night.

After the ceremony ended, he stayed behind a little. He craved someone's presence. Anyone familiar. And then he felt a smal hand on his shoulder. He turned around, and it was Y/N. At first, he tought he was hallucinating. But her petite hand on his shoulder felt so real. He felt so grateful for this small human being at the moment, he just wanted to thank God over and over for having her with him.

"Y/N, Flower, what are you doing here?" he asked, still in shock.

"Hey Bear. I figured out you could use some company after the funeral. But if you wanna be alone, I understand, I'll go."

"No no, I mean, if you can stay, it would mean a world to me. You really know me better than I know myself sometimes Y/N. Thank you so much, Flower." he said, and immediately came for a hug. You hugged back, of course.

"I'll stay for as long as you want, Bear. I'm here for you, as long as you want me to stay."

"I want you to stay forever kiddo" he mumbed in your hair.

"Forever it is."

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@afictionaladventure16 @rae-is-typing @elles-writing @avengersarchive @avengersuniverse

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g-lbertblythe · 3 years

Text

Television Heaven // Rafe Cameron

Summary: As the each day passes, you fall for Rafe Cameron solemnly and irretrievably.

A/N: This song made me think of Rafe. Actually, I was thinking of Rafe then I started to listen to this one. Anyway, I was planning on something different but it got out of control. So it has really nothing to do with the song. Hope you enjoy anyway.

It might contain grammar and spelling mistakes cuz it's not my native language.

Every move you made, you made after long considerations, with caution. You questioned every little detail, calculating every probable outcome so strictly, sometimes you end up missing the chance to carry it into action. Just because you didn't want to find yourself in a situation that would make you embarrass and hurt yourself or just would make you feel something, you always choose the right and short way to do things. The logical one but the one no flowers grow. You held yourself back when you encountered with something so beautiful that may change your life, you just refused it, ignored it because you wouldn't know what to do with it. You ran away from anything in sight that may make you an idiot for doing it or make you weak, helpless; therefore you stayed away from anything unsolvable, complicated even. You didn't know everytime you ran away, you come closer the edge of falling apart. You've lived your life so guardedly, you've actually never lived. You come to understand that you never made any effect on your life, never pushed the buttons of the controlling panel of your life although you always tried to keep everything on your control. You didn't make things happened, things only happened to you. The day you became aware of this ugly truth, you also discovered a hole inside you. A hole which you use to suffocate any heavy, intense sensation you might feel. Now, it was the one taking control of you.

Lately, everyone around you was able to notice that something's wrong with you. Changed, you looked like you were fading away. You were disappearing more and more, the each day you realize the things you didn't do or things you wanted to say but never said. Because any time you don't say what you wanna say, you die a little. And you died very. Reminiscing the moments you stole from yourself pushed you an edge and you were standing the very edge, unsteady. One day you lose your balance, you start falling and you've been falling since.

The strong liquor on your lips never dried, you kept sipping one after another. You were never drunk on life before, you might actually get drunk at least. You were tired of filling your glass constantly, you left the glass on Camerons' table and head for the bottle.

"Are you okay?" Kiara asks hesitantly. She noticed something was off recently but she didn't think it will last this long. Normally nothing would affect you so long. But now, something in your eyes was missing and she didn't know what was it. She wanted to help you but didn't know how because you never needed any help before.

"Yeah, " you smiled to her slightly so she could see you can still do it and it was okay. The problem was your lips and your eyes didn't match. "You?"

She just nodded as an answer but the suspicions she had was still there. She didn't want you to be alone so when you refused to hang out at the beach with the rest of the gang, she came with you to the kitchen. But you knew, she wanted to be out there so you should gett her off the hook.

"Hey, " you said to draw her attention. "Let's head outside. I am bored here sitting."

"You sure?" She asked. "You wanted to come inside?"

You smiled, forcibly, lately every smile you gave was like that. "Yes. It turned out to be a bad idea. "

"Okay, " she said when she got up, you had to also. She was ready to walk away before you stopped her. "I'm going to hit the bathroom first. You go. "

She looked at you unsurely. "I'll wait."

You laughed, you were a little lightheaded from standing up swiftly but you didn't drink enough to get drunk yet. But she thought you were. You wished you were too. "I can pee just okay without you waiting, Kie. Tell them I'm coming and determined to drink whatever out there."

Eventually, she ended up leaving you and as soon as she was gone, you let yourself fall on the sofa again. You just needed few minutes before you head outside.

The Pogues have started becoming the huge part of your life not so long ago. You think the awareness hit you just after you met them because they were the most animated people you've met. They were full of spirit although some of their lives weren't always bed of roses, still they managed the find attraction and beauty in other things. You admired them before, now you envied.

The cold hit you as soon as you stepped outside but you liked feeling the breeze on your bare arms. The cold was all you feel anyway. You knew exactly where your friends at, before worrying Kiara any longer, you made your way to them before you saw of a guy that one beer bottle in his hand and the other hand in his pocket. Watching your friend from afar. You pushed the urge of considering if you should go near him or not. You were going because you didn't go so many times before.

"Hey, " you let him know of your arrival. His upper body moves to face you only to see you looking at him with your unfinished bottle on your hand. He turned back to keep watching his sister and the junk she brought along with her. He never ever liked them and he never will but he had to behave because his father told him to. Rafe could only behave himself to a certain extent. He tried to stop himself making their life like hell but failed so many times that you forgot how many times you had to stop himself from hurting your new friends. He was mad at Sarah bringing them into your lives and he was mad at you for joining in this quest and defying him about this matter. You knew Rafe felt like the Pogues were the ones blame for everything that goes wrong in his life and almost anything he does and and he has goes wrong. Yet he was almost sure they were guilty of everything that happened. He had a temper and an addiction that makes it worse. He was confused and lost in so many ways, he was all over the place. Regarding the fact he wants do right by his family, friends and by you, he always and always ends up doing the worst of there is. Rafe's choices was never right and until that moment, you couldn't picture yourself being jealous of him because still, he had a say in what he had done with his life. The kind of life you regret having maybe, however with the pills mostly, he thinks nobody has it right but him.

Rafe was angry at his father, at himself and at you. He was angry at everything. He no longer knew what has left for him anymore. He has never received anything from his father but the disappointment he caused him. The things used to be his now was taken over by others. His part of the island, his so called values, his friends even and you too. Rafe knew you for so long although you were almost distant with everybody, you shared a huge deal of time together. Mostly because you had close family relationships and Kooks hanged out together all the time until his little sister violates that rule.

"Your new friends turned you into an alcoholic, huh?"

He said coldly as possible, still bitter about you stood between him and JJ Maybank and chose him over him. Well, he didn't expect you to be on his side because you would never. You had principles or some kind of shit he lacks, however he didn't expect you to be on his side too.

"My oldest friends couldn't turn me into an crackhead, I thought I might as well try this one." You said, trying to sound as cold as him but you couldn't make it last so long. "You look like you hadn't drown yourself in snow."

He faced you. "Yet."

You smiled looking at the ground and it was a real one. Rafe was frustrated to so many and sometimes to you but you like to talk to him sometimes. All the time, probably. You didn't know exact amount because you started avoiding being around him for too long after sometime in your life. Because you felt your heart pounding in your chest in a way that so weird as he talks to you and looks at you a little too long. You couldn't take the risk of acknowledging that feeling and letting it grow.

"No lectures about how I shouldn't do it?" Rafe asked you surprisedly. Because he wouldn't hear the end of it generally.

"Would you take them seriously?" You said. Somehow, you felt like grinning like a idiot and you didn't stop yourself from doing it. You asked him, one brow lifted up, playfully. Not like the times you fake being playfull. For real.

As you talk to him, he was about to forget he was mad at you. He grinned at your way. "Nah."

And the way he smiled it was so deadly, but he felt so heavenly just like that.

"You see, I've learned my lessons." You say to him and he just shrugges.

Rafe wasn't the type to approach people with an passive aggressive attitude. He would go with full active. But tonight, what he felt the most was so sickening feeling like sorrow but not, destructive one like hatred which he usually feels most. Therefore he looked calmer outside but the war was going inside his mind and his chest. Yeah sometimes even he had one of those melancholic days.

You felt uneasy as he wasn't even looking at your way to answer. It was like you didn't get what you came here for. He just stood there, making you wondering what he was thinking of at the moment.

Your eyes caught JJ, looking worried as his eyes searched for you in the crowd then they found you. He paced towards to you, seeing Rafe, he thought you might need to be saved from him. "Hey, where've you been?" He asked you after he sent brief glares to Rafe and he recieved the same ones in return. "We were waiting for you."

Rafe felt so regarded before by everyone else, he knew you would have gone. Again.

"You coming?" JJ had to ask as you didn't say anything.

"I think I'll stay here for now. " You sounded so clear that although Rafe was surprised that you wanted to stay, he didn't think he heard you wrong.

"Are you sure?" He said and couldn't stop himself from looking at Rafe. Rafe hated that look and the way he was being protective of you like he would hurt you.

"She said she'll stay, didn't she? Beat it."

JJ turned to Rafe, his jaw clenching in anger. "I don't remember talking to you man. " He sounded hostile as possible.

As Rafe took a step towards to him, JJ was also ready to pick up another fight so he didn't hold himself back.

"Hey, hey!" You had to step in and pushed them away from each other but it was hard because they were always so willing to beat each other up.

"I'm tired of doing this again and again. " You left your hand on Rafe's chest but didn't move the one on JJ's, the one also holding the bottle. He didn't have much common sense either but still was better than Rafe. "I'm sorry to ditch you guys but I need to talk to Rafe."

JJ had seconds thoughts but he left you eventually. Rafe went back to being silent and didn't even ask you what was you wanted to talk him although he wondered.

"You had to be the alpha, didn't you?" You asked just to hear him answering.

"This is my house, I am the fucking alpha here." He spits nearly. He tried his everything to not make a scene but it was a hard battle he had fought inside. You couldn't keep your eyes off of him, the way he's so annoyingly silent and the way he looks so mad but hurt at the same time was confusing you. You couldn't know you either hate him or hug him so tightly that he should never feel broken again. You knew all he did, he did it to make everyone around you to love him.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Is this what you wanted talk about?" He stares at you, answering your question bothers him so he doesn't.

"No." You said. No use of him confirming his anger, it was obvious.

"Just cut the to chase then. Your boyfriend waits for you."

You reached for the cup in his hands and it took him by surprise. "He's not my boyfriend." You said as his eyes widened by the sudden move from you, trailed your hand until you threw the cup to the ground. Then they turned to see your expression to figure out what you up to. You were a little too close.

"What are you doing?" He asked slightly angrily, slightly astonishedly. His pink, soft lips moved so beautifully, you had hard times focusing on his eyes.

"I want you to be sober for this."

You smiled as you grabbed his hand that held the cup the seconds ago. He was baffled by your soft touch, something was different about you tonight.

You pulled him with you and he didn't move at first as he tried to make sense of what you are doing. This was as strange to him as it was to you because your remember how many times you avoided being close to him. When you were talking to him casually or you were fighting with him, you felt so uncomfortable when you get too close to him. He was like this stunning and mesmerizing thing you felt his energy all over you but if you touched him or stay too close, you would get burned. How many times you wanted to hug him, hold his hand, pat his shoulders but you just didn't...

"What are you doing?" He asked, you had a loose grip on his hand and as you two moved swiftly, he was scared that it might break off. "Where are we going Y/N?"

"Be patient just for once."

And he had to be, however he never liked not knowing what's coming for him.

"Are you drunk?" Rafe said as soon as you stopped in front of him, making it to your destination. His eyes wandered around the balcony to see If there's something he sould notice but he's missing. But there were only you and him.

You rolled at your eyes the fact everyone's assuming you're drunk when you never felt so sober and wide awake before until now.

"No, Rafe. I am not." You even left your bottle at the beach.

"Why did you bring me here?"

You had to let go of his hands but your eyes never left his face. There was something with him that you could never understand before. You look at him and never want to see anything else. You could watch him for hours and days and still wouldn't want to look away. How foolish you would sound if you said these out loud.

Rafe waited for an answer but all you did was stare at him blankly.

"Why are you being weird Y/N? You high?"

You walked towards to the edge and left him behind you but turned away to see him, leaning back on the parapets. You had this idiotic smile on your face that just can't go away when you see him. You kept it hidden all this time but no longer fight the feeling.

"No. I am not drunk. I am not high. How many times I have to repeat myself?" You didn't sound sarcastic or angry, on the contrary Rafe found your tone extremely cheerful and it left more confused with the the situation.

"But you don't seem that way. " He admitted. The girl he knows was earnest, restrained and would do what what expected from her. It was annoying to him time to time because you were perfect example people-his father- gives when how he should be like. You were decent and kind, type of person who knows what to say to the people older than you. You were more relaxed and fun when you were with close friends. He liked that you could do it many ways but he always found you hard to get to. You would only let people in -or only him to the some point and would just go ice after that point. You were sharp with your words too If you wanted to and would know where to hurt when you want to hurt somebody but you only did to him once or twice. Probably they were the only times you actually went so cruel with anybody and Rafe was the only person could enrage anyone despite of how calm this person is. Rafe thought you had a side that you kept in secret and he was aware and impressed by that.

Now, you stood there, your hands on the parapets and your head tilted to your side with a small smile on the corner of your lips. You didn't look that weird but the energy you radiate was most peculiar.

He looked up and down. "You seem different."

The way he sound was like a melody. "How come?"

He only shrugged his shoulders and watched you giggle, breaking the silent night with it. You didn't know why you did it, it just got out of you.

Rafe took a step towards you, his eyes squinted with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Oh my God, could you just stop it? I am fine Rafe. "

"Then speak. Why did you bring me here? You're acting insane as fuck." He was impatient now and you were a little upset he thinks you are insane. So being out of your character just for a night and even he thinks you're insane. Your mood was spoiled.

"You can leave If you want. I didn't bring you here to fight. "

You sounded hurt and he couldn't comprehend how did you get too sensitive. You would scream at each other and you wouldn't even fling.

"Okay," he said to ease the tension. "Just tell me why are we here."

His words didn't bring your cheerful attitude back but you still continued. "Do you remember the summer two years ago? You and Sarah stayed here when Rose and your dad went to Caribbean's along with Wheezie?"

Rafe nodded slowly, wondering about why the hell you were bringing this up. "Yeah, we threw the biggest party this island has ever seen." He said little proud with himself.

He hoped the way he chuckles would make you all giggly again but you kept a straight face.

"It had started as fancy party at first. Sarah and I really wanted it to be like Midsummers because we wanted to feel like grownups in our fancy clothes." You smiled softly with remembering all of this. "And Topper was down with the idea because he wanted attention from Sarah. We even convinced you to it."

"And I remember we end up trashing the house at the end of the night though. "

"It was a mess." you said with a small smile that was gone so quickly. You approached to him slowly, with a serious look on your face that finally resembles to your normal self. "Do you remember you put on your dad's tuxedo and it was short for you because you became a giant that year?"

Rafe nodded firmly he was nervous of your serious expression. Now, you were only a step ahead of him and you were searching for something in him that he had no idea what. "I do." He brows squinted. "I had to take it off."

" You put on your ball cap when everyone wore a bow-tie." You smiled sadly, when you remember it hurt how good he looked that night. You'd remember him like that way forever.

"You were too drunk that night. I don't think you remember and it probably didn't matter to you," you cleaned your lips with your tongue. "We were here, alone, and you told me I looked beautiful in my sundress that night."

You felt a warn sensation on your cheek and your vision got blurred before you realize you are crying. You didn't know why because you finally felt so relieved you got this out of your chest. "And I couldn't forget that moment how much I tried to. "

Tears kept falling from your eyes, not matter how hard you tried to keep them in. You were tired from deceiving yourself about Rafe and pretending like you don't feel the way you do. Keeping this hidden from him and yourself. And you hated that you're crying and being so emotional and vulnerable now.

You wiped the tears and able to stop yourself although when you finally managed to look at Rafe, your vision wasn't all clear.

He looked at you as If you are not real. When you didn't get any reaction from Rafe, you were ready to drown yourself in bottles. You couldn't believe how stupid and naive you became in a week. This was the reason you never told him. This was the situation you didn't want to put yourself in. Just like that, a tear warmed your cheek again.

Rafe reached for your cheek, cupped it in his hand hesitantly. His heart shattered when you cried. And it was because of him. His hands left you naked, staring at him and wishing you were dead.

"How can you like me?" He asked, the words didn't almost make it out of his mouth and you weren't able to see his blurry blue eyes because of your own.

You cried a little more to his words. It hurt you how he thought he was unlovable. Yes he was mean, confused and a total mess but he was so much more. Maybe he didn't knew what to say or what to do all the time, maybe everything he did was wrong but he had good intentions. He was damaged and wounded by so many places. He was chaotic, problematic and it was probably wrong to mant to like him. Yes it was hard to love him but you did love him with every inch of your body and soul. You put your hand on his cheek and his skin underneath your palm was the smoothest things you ever touched before.

"You're beautiful, Rafe." You said and you just didn't know how to explain the way you feel. It was too much, too powerful.

"No." He stepped back, shaking his head side to side. He just couldn't believe you. You... of all people, knew how bitter he is and liked him? You were amazing and breathtaking in so many ways, you could do so much more and deserve so much better. And he was wretched soul, not even his father loved him. How could you possibly do?

"Don't fuck with me, okay?" He was angry at you playing with his mind like this. You were being cruel again, hitting where it hurts. "You don't." He said it like it is impossible for someone to love him because somehow, it was for everybody around him.

"I do."

He looked at you like you committed an unspeakable crime. Like you were trying to deceive him into that he has what he always seeked for. "Don't fucking lie to me. You don't." He said and a tear fell from his eyes. "You.." he had to take a deep breath to continue. You... A creation that is above him. "You can't."

If he only knew how he made you feel. If he knew how many times you pushed back the thoughts of him when they suddenly came to you and made your days unbearable. How you convinced yourself that he doesn't mean anything to you and felt sick in your stomach when you saw him with another girl and wished it was you instead. He had a possession in your heart without his knowledge and today was the day that part declared its freedom.

"But I do, Rafe. I spent so much thinking that it's nothing, thinking it is wrong, but I just do. I don't care if it is anymore, Rafe. I always tried to do what's right, it got me nowhere. If this is wrong, then I don't wanna be right."

You brushed his hair back and he was breathing heavily in your face. "Don't push me away." You whispered. "Please."

"I might never be this brave again." You kissed him, slowly made your lips as one. His skin burned you when his lips felt like heaven. When he gently kissed you back, you felt like nothing in this world could make you feel better than this.

Although you needed him more than the air your lungs lacked, you had to pull away. Your breaths melded with each other and now you got a taste of it, you didn't want to stop. Your lips once more was intertwined with his and they danced softly on yours. As your movements became more passionate, he followed you replacing his hands on both of your cheeks and pushing himself closer to you as if that was even an option, If it were, you'd do it sooner.

You wanted more and more. The scary truth that's been invading thoughts had no chance of fighting with the desire you were burning with. Him not loving you back as you do love him would kill you tomorrow but tonight you were born again.

#outer banks #rafe cameron #drew starkey #rafe obx #obx #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine

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potterology · 4 years

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fave dylb scenes bc I can't get over and I’m already rewatching and noticing little things heheee

- first meeting outside the restaurant. ohh how I love how awkward yet endearing they both were when they finally introduced themselves to one another. rewatching it made me realize that JY was already smitten by SA since the start. (like literally since the start y'all!!! he didn't even know her yet and wanted to stop the car to get SA an umbrella and this was in the first ep!!)

- when JY switched coffee cups with SA bc she spilt her cup and he started drinking it so she can’t refuse even though he doesn’t like coffee. Like he just did it bc he was compelled to do so?? like dude what if she already drank from it??? This scene was so funny to me and I love it cuz I dont think SA is used to being the one taken care of like that so it was just v cute

- when the noona was trying to get them to talk banmal but SA was like oh noooo he’s a superstar. This was cute bc you can actually see that JY was disappointed. Also they keep sneaking peeks at each other lol cute fools

- waiting for taxi scene- this was so freaking adorable. shows how considerate they both are for each other and it’s so freaking awkward when they both realized they were standing there waiting for each other to get a taxi- but like in the cutest way

- when they were both outside that restaurant and SA asked if JY enjoyed his performance at granny’s house and I think this was the first time someone asked our boy if he likes what he does for a living and you can just tell his heart went soft for her(same dude same)

- spontaneous non-date date. ohh I love the first time they ate together at that beer place. they really started to get to know each other there. the mood and how that scene was filmed was just chef’s kiss~~

- rehearsal room we should be friends scene. when homeboy transitioned from moonlight sonata to happy birthday, y'all knew it was over for SA- god damn I would have swoon over too

- by the river “I wanted to see you” scene- high key JY sucks at communicating but I love how he is just so taken by SA that he just flat out says he misses her and as soon as he says it he was almost shocked himself. so pure

- the midnight call. I MEAN. guys. guys. he wanted to just talk to her and ask her out but tried to be nonchalant about it. ahhh they literally portrayed the first stages of dating so well I'm goo for it !!!!!!

- first walk together in the walkway. this was just so adorable. the almost hand holding. the chemistry!! the shy smiles :’’’)

- SA’s birthday when she thanked JY for just being there for her. I love how she quietly acknowledges him and it was such an intimate interaction between them. I replay that scene a lot in my head

- when he ran to SA to give her his signed CD. He was so worried about her he forgot about JK lmaooo. Also the fact the he validated her as a violinist when SA was at a very low point... I mean... boyfriend material ugh

- the scene when SA told JY every little thing he does concerns her and that she didn’t want to feel that way about him anymore. As soon as SA said that homeboy PANICKED!!! I don’t even think he knew how much he liked SA until she said that :’)

- the lunchroom scenes 1) when they were teasing each other and 2) when JY announced that they were dating lolol I love how stoic he normally is but for SA he becomes a softie hehe

-ice cream day date; lol when SA won’t let JY tie her shoelaces bc she didn’t want to fall for him lol ok girl

-night ice cream/ stairs date. y'all know already. shit was just adorable. SA going for the kiss. I melted with the ice cream

- when JY asked SA for her handkerchief!!! it’s such a small gesture but they both knew it had a special meaning and I love how it put SA over the moon. (Also let’s include all the other times we see JY actually use that handkerchief- especially after they broke up. like homeboy was holding on to it for his dear life bc it was the only thing he had of SA~~ my fragile heart!!) ps did we ever see SA get a handkerchief from him???? No??? Sbs give me that pls

- when MS was telling JY in the car that SA has only openly confessed liking two things in her life and one them was JY. He was so flustered and couldn’t hide his smile and dimples... bruhhhhh he was full on swoon. Also when JY heard SA say that she really likes JY like he was so proud of himself lmao he’s like “yeah my gf LIKES ME” lolol

- when the lovebirds fought who was gonna clean up the broken glass at JY apartment. I love loveee this one bc SA has been beaten down so much by everyone calling her talentless that she didn’t even consider how important her hands is to her as a musician. And JY being like honey ur a violist and a musician too- UR HANDS ARE PRECIOUS. This was just v touching. Again showing how JY has always considered SA as an equal despite all the shit people say about his gf. luv him :’)

-all the moments JY just stood by SA’s side and held her hand when she needed comfort. I love how he’s just there for her. His silent support was just enough. (One thing that would have been nice is if we saw SA do the same thing, I felt like the writers were almost there but just didn't go all the way which is a shame tbh)

- Their lil day trip to JY’s hometown. I like how JY was so open to SA here. When he proclaimed that he never felt “this way before” I screamed!! It was at that moment you clearly knew as a viewer that JY never really loved JK. He might have he loved the idea of her, yes. But he never truly loved her the way he loves SA. And his realization of this in that particular episode just made me so so so happy

- Handholding in the bus scene. That shit was so freaking tender bc you can tell how content JY was. He was beyond smitten- homeboy was IN LOVE AT THIS POINT

- when JY dropped SA home. I mean everything about this scene really makes ur heart soft right?? How both of them were beaming? How SA feet probably hurt bc homegirl was wearing heels the whole day and walked another 30 min just so she can spend more time with JY? How she literally ran back to him and JY just had this impression watching her like “my gf is cute af”?? How SA said something along the lines of JY having somewhere to belong to now and you can tell this had a double meaning for him bc at this point he prob considered SA as his home..I was literally mush oh my god.

-break up scene. I know, v painful- but this was a rare one in kdramaland where I actually thought it was necessary for them to split (still wish it was done earlier but alas I'll take it) It was a graceful and needed breakup. Also when JY pulled out that umbrella for her.... bish it was over for me

- SA’s recital. I MEAN HOW IN SYNC COULD THEY BE. I normally skip the musical performances whenever I watch dramas that are music related- but this show makes it so magical I simply could not. PEAAAKKK ROMANCE

- JY’s recital- when he played that last song I was a big mess cuz we all knew it was dedicated for SA :’’) (I listen to this piece all the time now and im so emo when I hear it bc like god WHEN)

- First I love you scene. JY just going for it and chasing his happiness without caring if SA might reject him. We love to see it

-Second I love you scene. YALL. YALLLLL the way JY just releases his breathe when SA said she can't be friends bc she loves him more than a friend will forever slay me. Kim min jae’s acting here was real good. I love how JY said I love you four times and just went for it. top kissing scene in a krdrama for me hehee

- dubokki date. lmao at JY with the spicy level. just plain cute

-the quick side by side peek to JY new album in the last episode. the way it showed how their relationship evolved. how he signed it as “for my love song ah” BISH I WANNA DATE A MUSICIAN TOO NOW

- that lil scene where JY wrote SA’s name as the planner bc he knows she works just as hard as the musicians and deserves the recognition. get u a boy who will vandalize a program notice for u :)

- basically all the scenes at the end of ep 16. I wish all of them were longer. I wanted to see more of them dating and happy!!! But I just love how they are both so INTO each other and you can see how happy JY is bc he finally has that person back that understood him since the beginning and it makes you feel so warm knowing they’re each other’s support system ahhhh I love their love !!

- also just all the scenes that JY looks at SA lovingly ~~ which literally happened since ep 1 I mean they are literally heart eyes emoji for each other every time :’))

- oh oh OH special shout out to ep 11 when JY just can’t stop holding SA’s hands !! the way he does it is so freaking INTIMATE like if I can only describe how I feel whenever I see compilation gifs of that episode where JY just reaches out and holds SA’s hands so steadily and tightly...it’s literally the most heartwarming thing.. idek how to explain what I’m trying to convey but I just vibe with it so much?? it’s so intimate and romantic.. Kim min jae I will die 4 u my love

#do you like Brahms?#do you like brahms #there are more scenes and I will prob go back and add them #I'll shut up soon but I need to talk about it as a form of release lmao #anyways if y'all got dylb thoughts feel free to talk to meeeeee hehehe #also making this list made me realize that Kim min Jae really lives in my head rent free #HIS ABSOLUTE POWER OVER ME #and of course eun bin was just oh so good #I added more #sorry if u reblogged already but I keep remembering more scenes that I love #Audrey

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