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nctworststuff · 3 years

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P-Bestfriend!Yuta x female!reader | G-A bit of angsty (?), Fluff, bestfriend to lover | W-Mention of rooftop, mention of toxic person, negativity thought | WC-0.7k

Velvet's say: I just realized I didnt post anything in this 2 weeks. I just having a stress month or maybe a year. Blame my exam paper lol jk. So here for you:)

Tagging: @neoturtles

Moment

Time passing, and the sunset right now are following the time. Just wait till the end. The ending sometimes sad and happy, that's the quote he always put it in his smart-savage brain. He still wondering what would it be, a happy or another one? But the ending isn't happen yet, like what it said, just wait till the end. The truth of sunset never lies to you, never to you two.

Yuta are gazing the beautiful sunset, at his favourite place to admiring it, rooftop. Nothing to be scared when he chilling at here. Everything feel safe,secured,the fear dissapeared in this place. Nothing to be scared

Suddenly your figure running through his mind, is he thinking about you right now? Yes. Its about your friendship, what happening in the future? Is it will become like a clićhe kdrama? Like besties to lover? How? Or maybe the future will ruin your friendship? How about if third person will make it toxic?

Thousand question sank into his mind almost make him 'crazy' but nah, he just want to chill right now. So he tried to calm his own soul and trying forget what he thinking. Urghh no, why Im still thinking about that? He thought. Is it love?

No, you maybe dont love him if he confess it. You said you love him as friend. So why he want to confess it if the risk to ruin the friendship is high? Sometimes he just want to tell you his feeling for you, but it stops him to tell about it when you say that.

No, the truth is you regret to said that

When the thoughts busy running in his head, suddenly something disturbed by someone body leaning against his back that make him flinch a little. He know who is it

"Busy huh?" You joked

"Kinda. Busy thing about you" he said

"Sounds interesting" you slowly move your hands and put in on his hands. Its make his heart more fluttered. In short, you two silently like it

"How long we being a bestfriend?" He ask. Yuta suddenly feel dumb to asking that. I mean, he know how long it is. Why he asking that if he know the answer?

"Sudden question huh? Of course 1 year" you close your eyes tightly and breath slowly

"Do you ever feel something odd between us?" Why he suddenly asking this,you thought

"What?"

"I mean, do you ever an intense feeling of deep affection on someone?" He feel awkward to said that. He never forgive himself if you reject him

You laugh

"Do you search the word "love" for the definition in google" he grinnning when you reveal the truth

"Yeah whatever. I like you" he said

"I like you too"

"No, in the different way" he can feel the nervous filling in his soul. Want to knowing what would you said.

"Oh" you speechless. You not expeting this could happen. You turn your body and make eye contact with Yuta. After he hearing those 'oh' word, he really regret it

"Its okay if you dont feel it. I just know this dumb thing will ruin our friendship" he look away

"No,wait" you hold his shoulder and kiss him. Your action make him shook and his eyes gone widen

"I love you too" You said. He smile sheepishly when he hear that like an idiot. While you cant stop blushing

"ImSorryIKnowIbadAtConfessIJustPanickWhatWouldHa-"

"Hey slowly, yeah maybe you are bad at confess but at least for me this is the best thing ever that hit my life" you smiling at him. He is about to kiss you but unfortunately-

"Yo new couples! I know you busy with your business but can at least you join us to go to the fancy dinner tonight?" Mark shout from far

°•°•°•

Its true. The love between you two keep blossom continuously without feel any doubt, like the flower meet the sun and water to keep growing healthy without sick. The powerful of love sometimes make storm scared to snatch you. The sunset never lies,never.

"Mom! Dad! Look at this! I got A on all subject!" Your son run towards you and handed you his result paper. You can scan his face that he's very happy

"Congrats, dear! We are very proud of you!" You hugging him and kiss his forehead while Yuta keep pinching his cheek

"Yeah! Thats my child! Smart like me" Yuta said

"We also have a surprise for you" yuta said

"Youre gonna be a brother soon" he winked at his son

Your son jumped on his own happily

"Im gonna be a good brother!"

And they live happily ever after

Ending fairy

©ɴᴄᴛᴡᴏʀsᴛsᴛᴜғғ

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #neoturtles #czennet #yuta imagines #nct x reader #nct fanfic #nct prompts #nct enemies to lovers #nct 127 #yuta x reader #kpop imagines #kpop fluff

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the-black-birb · 4 years

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Pins and Needles [Tanaka Ryuunosuke x Reader]

Prompt: From @thedeepestdaydream 's prompt "Hey I'm your soulmate which means I can feel your pain and I also really hate needles but you keep getting tattos so could you please maybe stop?"

Summary: In which Tanaka finds his soulmate, and they are not happy with him.

Pairing: Tanaka Ryuunosukd x Reader

A/N: happy belated birthday to Tanaka!! Season 4 really made him so pretty!! This is the second time I'm trying to post this so tumblr plz dont eat it

**enjoy**

You swore when you found your soulmate, you'd tell them off for all they put you through.

Most people were happy enough just to have a soulmate. It wasn't a guarantee, and most people went their whole life without finding them.

But you were positively furious.

You'd always lived close to your soulmate. For as long as you could remember, you'd get ghost pains at random times. Usually never too bad, so you didn't mind.

Come middle school, it got much worse. There'd always be pain in your forearms and on your palms. When the pain continued every day after school and well into highschool, you realized they must've played a sport. And they were awfully serious about it, too.

The pains were unbearable in highschool. Your soulmate worked hard, you were sure, but sometimes the exhaustion was just too much. Occasionally they got slapped and you'd simply laugh. They probably deserved it.

Come college, the familiar pain in your palm dissapeared. Sometimes you missed it, wondering if your soulmate gave up something they loved. You could understand, you dropped plenty of hobbies once you got to college. But you hoped they were happy.

That is, until the new pain started.

You'd never been particularly squeamish. You could handle ghost stories or bugs. You weren't scared. But needles made your skin crawl. The sensation of the pin point prick against your skin put all your hair on edge.

The first time your soulmate got a tattoo, you almost passed out.

Fortunately, you were simply in your dorm with your roommate. You mentally forgave your soulmate, understanding that everyone goes a little off the rails once they hit college. You had been through your fair share of poor decisions. And then, they continued.

It had been months since the first tattoo. You swore they got a new one every week. But never at the same time, no, you couldn't prepare yourself.

Finally, you had it. You were taking your final exam for a class when pain burned through you wrist. Some of their tattoos were small and quick, so you thought perhaps you could sit and bear it. How wrong you were.

The pain only got worse. You thought you reached sweet relief when the outline finished, only to feel the needle start to fill in with color.

Soulmate or not, all you saw was red.

You got up from your seat, essentially voiding your exam. You could care less. Mumbling a quick explanation to your professor and hoping you could make it up, you sprinted away from the building.

Careful with your tender skin, you traced the outline of the tattoo as best you remembered. When you were finished, your forearm a large crow wrapped around your forearm.

It was a beautiful tattoo, you thought, although your skin continued to burn from the needle on your skin. Your chest tightened, and your breathing became ragged but you managed to deal with the sensation. This wasn't their first tattoo, after all.

As the pinprick of the needle faded, you prepared to find your soulmate. It's said the closer you are to your soulmate, the easier it is for you to feel their pain. You were sure you'd lived in the same town as your soulmate your whole life, since there wasn't a time you couldn't remember ghost pains.

So you'd found all the tattoo parlors in Miyagi. There weren't many, and the pain in your forearm meant you could likely narrow it down to the ones closest to you. And now, you were ready to track down your soulmate.

You thought you'd seen all corners of Miyagi, but you weren't all too familiar with this area. The streets seemed a bit colder, and the shops more empty. The pace of your steps picked up.

Relief flooded your chest as you realized you were just a block away from the tattoo parlor you were headed towards. You rounded the corner, wondering if you were truly about to meet your soulmate. Where you ready? Your head dropped to look at the ground. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you weren't ready. They were your soulmate, so you were bound to meet them eventually. You didn't need to rush it, right?

"Hey cutie, what's a pretty lady like you doing here?"

You stopped in your tracks, still staring at your feet. If someone could sound greasy, he did. You stared at the shoes of your approacher. He was in sweats, wearing beat up sneakers. You snickered. He's probably bald and ugly.

"Minding my own business," you retorted, walking past him. "You should do the same."

You brushed past him quickly, trying not to cause a scene. The tattoo parlor was just a few steps away. Surely, someone in there could help you.

"Hey!" He grabbed your wrist, pulling at you. "C'mon what's with the sour face? Why dontcha smile?"

His grip on your wrist was unwavering.

You swallowed hard. A bell chimed behind you, signalling a door opening. A silent prayer left your lips, hoping whoever entered would be generous enough to intervene.

You pulled your wrist away, but his hand was like a vice. "Let go of me!"

He pulled you closer. "C'mon that's no f-"

And then there was a fist in his face, and a burning in your knuckles.

You didn't really process what happened, but suddenly there was a man in a beanie staring down at your assaulter.

"She doesn't want to be bothered," he demanded. As if possessed, the man who grabbed you walked away, wearing a mix of shame and disdain on his face. If you'd been more aware of yourself, you would've spit on his dumb shoes.

But your attention was taken by you savior, instead, and the tattoo sticking out his jacket arm.

"Can I see your forearm?" You asked. He looked at you surprised, but started to take his jacket off nonetheless.

"Uh, sure? You okay?"

You nodded. You were here for a reason, afterall.

"It's a little tender, still. You see I just got a tattoo and..." he trailed off as his eyes traced up your arm and the crow you outlined on it.

You looked at his crow, shining and beautiful, as well as the tattoos adorning other parts of his arms, and had no doubt in your mind. You remembered those sensations, too.

"Hi I'm [S/N] [Y/N] and I'm deathly afraid of needles. Of all your tattoos, that one really hurt like a bitch."

He laughed at you, and put out his hand to shake.

"Tanaka Ryuunoske, but you can call me Ryu. Would you want to get coffee sometime?"

You took his hand in a firm shake. His hand was larger than yours, and worn, too. Callous painted the tips of his fingers, no doubt from years of practice. But his hands felt safe, like home.

"That sounds nice."

bonus:

You walked into the cafe Ryu told you about, looking for a familiar face. You found it behind a black cup of coffee and an black sweatshirt. And no hoodie.

You laughed.

"Got a problem?" He teased.

"I didn't know bald men could look handsome."

It would be a long date.

#tanaka ryuunosuke #haikyuu tanaka #happy birthday tanaka!!#tanaka #tanaka x reader #tanaka ryuunosuke x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #fem reader

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moonlight-mellohi · 4 years

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Familiar Faces, Connected Stories

So.... I am very late to posting it here XD sorry sorry, I kept forgetting, but its here! Finally we get to see the stinky trash man and slimey boi! Or at least partially

See with this part taking so long this part is going to be split into two CHAPTERS! Dont worry I made sure it left off at somewhere where it would make sense. Anyways @sugarglider9603, on with the show!

Ao3 link

Ao3 series link

Part 4 Part 5 (chapter 2)

Master Post

Words: 2,070

Summery: ' Virgil leaned back and stared curiously at his teammates, instinctively sliding a paw in front of his brothers, surprising the two. From their past prospective, Virgil always stayed back, uncomfortable with any form of pokemon battles. Yet here the youngest was, defending the two against pokemon he seemed to trust. Trust? Did he not?

The two Eevees shared a glace, one thing running in both their minds

was it possible to get their brother back? '

It's time we brought our good ol trash rat and slimey boi into the story

Well trash Eevee and.. ok Deceit is still a slimey boi but they're also here!

Chapter 1

Thomas stirred the boiling pot beneath a slowly darkening sky, making sure to watch the food so nothing burned. He wasn't the best at cooking, but he'd learned enough to make some food when stuck in the woods, and having a Logan helped quite a bit.

"Hey!" He stumbled a bit as Roman crashed into his leg, the Eevee chasing Patton around. Roman shook his head, chirped up a sorry before going back to the chase. Thomas shook his head fondly, returning his gaze to the cooking stand "be careful guys, Virgil keep an eye on them" Patton and Roman cried out at Thomas' distrust, but continued playing anyways as Virgil watched laying by the table.

After some time, Virgil occasionally snapping at Roman, Thomas was nearing down with the stew when crashing and yelps caught his attention. He whipped his head up just to see Roman and Virgil tangled together, the table fallen onto its side and the finished berry skewers astray across the ground. Patton ran over, sniffing as the two untangled themselves from each other. Thomas groaned.

"That's it! Patton, you're going to stay right next to me, Virgil and Roman, you're going out and getting us more berries" all three cried out as Logan shook his head from Thomas' shoulders.

"You two, don't even try. Virgil, I need you to keep an eye on Roman so he doesn't run off. And don't try me, I remember that giant pile of Oran berries you brought us" Virgil grumbled, hissing a bit at Roman before leading the way out of the clearing circle. Patton walked over, glumly laying down over Thomas feet. Thomas sighed, he could pick the table up later he supposed, focusing on the pot once again.

Not noticing the two pairs of eyes watching.

Eevee flicked his tail, the uniquely marked pokemon correctly predicting and stifling his brother's angry huff once again. Even with this action, he could understand his partner.

Because he was right there, right there! Their Eevee brother was walking away with another Eevee, telling the brown furred pokemon ('Roman' he believed) off for getting him mixed up in the other's mess. And then there was the trainer.

Eevee glared at the smiling human, stirring a large delicious smelling pot, two more Eevees laying on him. If it wasn't for their brother always being around the human or the other pokemon, they couldn't have gotten him back a while ago. Yet, they had learned their lesson after the chase, the marked Eevee stifling his own growl at the light gray Eevee laying at the trainer feet. If it wasn't for him especially, he remembered the day they almost got their smallest back.

"Please" his brother whined quietly "he's alone with just one of the Eevees, if he saw us he would help! Can't we just go get him now?" He shot a sympathetic look at the other Eevee, understanding his pain. The trash covered pokemon always had a bit of a stronger connection, not much but something more, as he was the one to find the small one in a dumpster. The other shuffled closer and he rapped a tail around his non blooded brother, keeping him close.

"No, you remember how strong, what was he called? Patton was, and you see how often they train. We wouldn't stand a chance" the other's ears lowered.

"I.. I just want him back" the other murmured, ducking his head into his fur, the cleaner of the pair giving a reassuring lick back.

The two jolted as they were brought back to reality, only realizing too late how loud they began to speak as a gray head poked through the bush they were hiding within.

The three Eevees stared at each other for only a moment before the marked Eevee leapt up, standing defensively between his friend and the pet, letting out a low growl. Its eyes merely blinked behind glasses before brightening.

"Oh! It's you!" Patton exclaimed, from the sound of it his tail swishing back and forth rapidly "whatcha doing here?" The tail swishing suddenly stopped as the shiny glared "you aren't here to try and steal Virgil away again, are you?"

The protective Eevee pushed the other behind him a bit, signaling to run, but the trash loving Eevee didn't budge. He sent a look back at the other, only to see the pokemon completely petrified. Oh right, last time they came in contact with Patton he knocked him out nearly immediately.

The shiny seemed to notice, blinking away the anger from his eyes "are you hungry? We wouldn't mind you joining us for dinner, if you wanted!"

And now the marked Eevee froze, yet in confusion. Did.. he just offer food to them? With a trainer no less? He was about to protest when his stomach betrayed him.

Patton perked as the marked Eevee used his tail to bring his brother forward, keeping him close ".. I guess free food would be a stupid thing to pass up" Patton giggled before his head dissapeared as he ran back to the trainer.

"Wait" the trashy Eevee stopped him, "What are you doing? We, we can't-" "I know, but" the smaller yet protective Eevee hesitated "we, we might be able to see him again" the other looked down. This could be their only safe chance, heck the moment they see him the trainer might run them off. The realization they may not be able to be with their youngest brother again hit both hard, but at least seeing him, whether forced to stay with the trainer or (somehow) happy with his place, at least they would know.

The non blooded brothers looked at each other one last time before nodding, making their way through the bush.

Thomas kept a half an eye on Patton as he turned off the camping stove set MJ gave him, walking over with Logan still laying over his shoulders and picking up the knocked over mini foldable table. He went to pick up the dirty berry skewers when a chirp behind him caught his attention.

"So, what were you looking at Pat-" Thomas stood and turned around, only for Logan to let out a deep grown from his shoulders and surprise from himself.

"So" Thomas smiled, crossing his arms "we meet again" the two Eevees moved cautiously into view, Patton leading. He remembered these Eevees from a couple of months ago, yet he didn't think he'd be followed.

Patton chirped happily, running up to Thomas and nodded to the skewers. Thomas raised an eyebrow "you.. want then to join us for dinner?" Pattom chirped again, rising up onto his hind legs and pawing up in an honestly adorable manner. Thomas smiled, petting Logan's head to calm his fur.

"Alright, if they help us clean this up, they can join" The two Eevees seemed surprised by the news, but after Thomas explained where to put them, they rushed forwards to help.

With their help everything finished up quite quickly, Thomas starting a fire once again for when Roman and Virgil returned back. Virgil.

The trainer was now sitting in a camping chair, Logan still giving him a look of 'how dare you let these hooligans near my son and husband again', but Thomas blatantly ignored him, instead focusing on poking at the fire as Patton and the dirt covered Eevee rolled around, they one with marks around it's eye lazily watched the fire a few feet away from Thomas. He stole some glances at the strangers but inevitably realized they would commit no harm.

Though something, something was bugging him.

He sighed, dropping the stick some inches from the fires edge and leaning back in his chair, all the Eevees halting in their action and looking to the trainer as he huffed.

"Sometimes, I hate language barriers" he muttered, causing four heads to tilt, making the trainer chuckle.

"Well, I know you two tried to steal Virgil from us, you probably know him from somewhere" he waved at the wild Eevees "the only thing I don't know is, well, why" Patton and Logan perked in interest, as if realizing they never thought to think of that.

At that moment, the bushes started to shake.

______________________________

Virgil slightly winced as he picked up a falling Pecha berry, placing the berry back onto the pile. Originally the two were pulling the giant leaf topped of berries together, but berries kept rolling off, and with Roman really being the one punished, Virgil got the easy job.

Roman stopped for breathing break, panting slightly "c'mon Bluk Berry, please switch?" In response Virgil grabbed a Bluk berry and tossed it at Roman's face when he wasn't looking, getting a sad and insulted hiss back "nope, you got me into this, you get to do the labor Princey" Roman dropped his ears glumly "calm down you Drama Vespiquen, we're literally almost back" the idiot he called his boyfriend perked up at that, grabbing the leaf's strong stem and pulling backwards.

Not long afterwards they reached their final obstacle, Virgil making his way to the front and pulled the branches off to the side to make a clear path. As Roman dragged it through the same damn Pecha berry was knocked off the top, bouncing down to the ground. The dark furred Eevee huffed at it, letting the starter pass through before paddling forward and picking it up. No way he was going to leave a Pecha behind again.

He sighed, turning around and ducking his head, his slightly longer ears straight (or as straight as possible) back as he pushed through the bush. Seriously, why did they pick this way to come back as well, they could have moved anywhere and they came back the difficult route. He pushed his way through, his body escaping the bush only to bump right into the berry pile. Honestly it was a miracle nothing fell.

He placed the Pecha berry down, making his way around the pile "Roman, what the fu-" he stopped dead.

Roman stood in a defensive position, low growls escaping his throat. Patton perked up by a newly set fire, Logan glancing over from Thomas' lap. And then..

It couldn't be

He brushed against Roman, eyes wide as two pokemon he thought he would never see again stared back. Puzzle pieces he accidentally lost, ones he looked for for so long before accepting defeat.

One stepped forward, the stink from his fur not pleasant, but it wasn't horrible. It felt familiar in fact. The Eevee took a deep breath, before

"hey Little Trash" the Eevee smiled, surprisingly still in one place "did you miss us?"

The answer was given with Virgil tackling said sticky Eevee, purrs rolling out like a thunderstorm "its you!"

His brother laughed, quickly switching back to his chaotic playful nature and snapped up at the smaller, rolling them around.

"Hey! What about me?" The two tumbled apart, Virgil nearly bouncing up and, without noticing the completely confused gazes coming from Thomas, Logan, Roman, and Patton, bolted strait into the strangely marked Eevee, cuddling deep into the parental and brotherly figure, breathing in the long lost familiar scent. The trashy Eevee crashed into the pair, thankfully not knocking them over, joining the three Eevees into a long lost family hug.

It was something Virgil missed, the two scents were like a comfortable blanket, rapping around himself leaving all his worries outside. He didn't want to confront Thomas or the other, he didn't want to know if they would stay or not, Virgil just wanted to be here with them, and unbelievable, he was. He finally found half of his family he lost, he wouldn't lose them again.

Unfortunately though, time still existed, a attention grabbing cough came from Thomas crashing reality back down on the trio, the crackling of fire, the wind blowing through the trees

and the low growls coming from two of the other Eevees.

Virgil leaned back and stared curiously at his teammates, instinctively sliding a paw in front of his brothers, surprising the two. From their past prospective, Virgil always stayed back, uncomfortable with any form of pokemon battles. Yet here the youngest was, defending the two against pokemon he seemed to trust. Trust? Did he not?

The two Eevees shared a glace, one thing running in both their minds

was it possible to get their brother back?

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theravencawsatmidnight · 4 years

Text

Bittersweet events. Part one

A/N. Uhh this is longer than i thought it would be oops. This idea came to me in a dream and i love it so muchhhh. I love Stain hes my baby uughnnn. Enjoy! THANK YOU FOR READING.

He was not sure how he got here really. He had to break in ofcourse . He had locked the only entrance into the tiny depressing room. White walls , white curtains , white bed. The only sound was a heart monitor .

One year ago his life changed forever , like it was thrown out of left field and hit him right in the face. Hero Killer Stain was what he went by, and purging heroes was what he did best. The Pros never caught him , his quirk was to powerful for most . One night , this one particular night everything changed. Villains were out causing terror in the streets, fires were started and were spreading . Cries for help and laughter filled his ears as he watched perched up on a roof top . All these Pros... fakes. These villains killing just to kill... fakes. He wanted to fix this world.

Stain jumped down from his rooftop after observing for awhile , a news van had sped onto the scene as well. He did not bother with most villains who were running around causing a ruckus. The Pros were trying to keep the news crew at a safe distance but they pushed and tried to get the scene on film. One woman had snuck away once she saw the Hero Killer dissapear into the shadows of a alleyway . Stain stopped halfway in when he heard heels clicking towards him , they sounded staggered and offbeat. He turned his head watching the shadow grow larger as she got closer. The woman sounded like she was catching her breath and fumbling with something. She clicked a button and held her arm out speaking with a shaky voice.

“Hero Killer Sssstain!!! Did you start this ?!? This run of crime this city has been faced with recently ? These fires? These deaths?”

He turned , he could not really see her in the dark except for her shadow. He stepped over to her finally being able to see her . A small woman with a blond ponytail and black glasses in a grey business jacket and long skirt. She was holding a voice recorder in her shaky hand. She gazed up at this tall dangerous man , she maybe came up to his chest even if he was hunched over. His bandanna and bandages blew in the wind along with his hair.

“I may have kindled the flame but i did not spread it, these villains, they might have fed off my actions.”

“But.. but!!! They all idolize you !! They want to join you , be like you!”

He hunched down getting almost eye level with her , she was shaking but she did not run . This interested him. “These villains are fakes... these Pros you love are fakes. Wanting fame, money. They should all die” he stepped back but the woman stepped forward.

“ wait!!! I... i want to know more.. “ she retracted her hand fumbling with her jacket pulling a card from her pocket. “If you want to talk more on...way life should be come to this address. Im home most days after 5 o clock.”

My my my...

He swiped the card from her startling her, she had to fix her glasses. Stain held the card up to the light reading it. Suki. Journalist. He memorized her address and shoved the card in his pants pocket fleeing the scene leaving the woman there all shooken up. She pressed the button on her recorder again and letting out a long sigh of relief. “Phew...”

It was a friday night when he showed up at her window staring in till she noticed. Suki nearly jumped in her skin when she saw his silhouette staring at her upside down. Suki ran over opening her window panicking.

“What are you doing?!? Use the door you’ll fall!!!”

“Do you really think they would let me in if i went to the door of this complex?” He asked genuinely curious.

Suki pushed her long hair from her face rubbing her eyes. “Well.. now that you say that.” She backed away and the villain let himself in looking around the room. Nothing fancy it looked like. Just a bed and dresser with a lamp on it. Suki was feeling around the dresser for her glasses, she had heard him come in but she did not say anything. She was a little nervous , was he going to kill her?

“Im here because you wanted to know more about my ways.” He said watching her feel around her dresser. Suki had hit her lamp making it stagger around, she mumbled under her breath trying to steady it. The lamp had suddenly stopped rolling around and Suki heard a heavy slam. The lamp was steady now and she felt him behind her. “Yes.. i just need my glasses.” She was scared now.. he was really close. She felt the heat on her back from him and the clicking of his kives made her skin jump. Stain looked over the long dresser spotting them, he picked them up and dropped them in her shaky hands. Suki gasped putting them on and turning around.

“ uhm thank you.. we can talk in the kitchen..”

Stain looked for the door and Suki lead him to it going to her kitchen. She had a lot of books everywhere , journalist books and newspapers seemed to cover her floor and tables. Stain sat down in the squeaky chair putting his knives on the table so he could sit comfortably. Suki came over sitting down, she pushed some newspapers to the side trying to hide the headlines . He had already seen them though, they were all about him. She placed her recorder on the table in the middle and pressed the button.

“ okay.. uhm.. why . What brought you to this lifestyle?”

“When i was in highschool, i overheard my classmates talking about how they wanted to be heroes for the money. Thats not what a hero is. “

“What is a hero?”

“"Hero is a title reserved for those who perform truly great feats! Too many are undeserving... Just money worshipers playing hero! Until this society wakes up and rectifies itself... I will continue to do my work”

“... the work ?”

“The purge of these fakes.”

Suki did not know what to make of all this information. It was a twisted way of thinking , sure some Pros were money hungry but... but what? She watched him thinking it over. Stain did not have much .. expression in his face . His eyes burned holes into her.

“You.. didint kill me when i found you”

“You didint run”

“... what is youre name?”

“Chizome.”

“I dont have anymore questions right now Ch..Chizome..”

He got up gathering his knives, he also turned the recorder off and leaned over the table staring down at this nervous woman.

“Suki.”

“Y..yyyes?!”

“ will you have more questions at a later date?”

“I uh.. most likely will yes”

“Then ill be back”

Stain went back to her room leaving the same way he came in. And thats how it started. Stain returned for more interviews on his lifestyle, his killings, his outlook of the world. Suki was growing more comfortable around this man , even laughing when they talked. Every interview she began to understand more and more his way of life and his way of seeing the Pros. They got closer too. The interviews would move to the couch and she would even offer him something to drink. She even called him by his name now.

During one interview Stain was talking about purges and how they made him feel nothing for his victims. Suki had placed her hand on his knee . “Chizome, they were wrong in they’re ways. Its okay to not feel some kind of remorse.” He looked down at her little hand then up at her. She was moving closer to him , crawling on the couch. Stain grabbed her arm pulling her ontop of him.

Stain came over regulary after that one night . Spending the night and leaving in the morning , he always came back though . Telling her all about his day full of righting the wrong. This went on for months , the two were very much in love with each other . No one could find out though, for Suki’s safety . The two also had a little surprise on the way as well.

“I hope its a girl. We can name her Shifuku” Suki said full of eagerness.

A child was new to Stain, he did not know what to make of the situation, when Suki told him he just stared at her . “A baby? “ he asked a few times. Suki would giggle and place her hand on her stomach. Eventually, he got use to it . But he was still unsure of what to do. The pregnancy was not easy and Suki faced many complications . The doctors told her that her body could not handle a baby . She did not listen . Stain was growing angry with each visit she made to the doctors . Why arent they helping her? Do they know its his? Why .. arent.. they.. helping her..

The day finally came when Suki’s water broke, she called an ambulamce and Stain followed from the rooftops . He looked in every window till he found her room. He could hear her crying and her struggling . He could not take it anymore and rushed in through the window scaring everyone. He paid the doctor no mind and went right to Suki. She screamed and cried till the baby was finally born. Little cries filled the room and the baby was given to Suki. The doctor had run out of the room and Stain locked the door.

“ oh Chizome its a little girl... i...” Suki was losing her grip on her baby and her knees touched. The heart monitor started to spazz and Stain looked all around the room in a panic. What could he do?!

“Chizome...”

He turned his focus to Suki.

“ can you hold Shifuku .. im a little tired.. im eh.. a little scared if i go to sleep i wont wake up though”

“Suki , youre alright . Everything-“ she grabbed his arm stopping him. “Take care of Shifuku .. i love you both so much.”

“No im not leaving you here! Suki!!”

“I know you wont.. theres a pretty flower field . Im sure youve seen it. In the graveyard.”

“ i have. .. i have. Suki..”

“I love you Chizome.”

“I .. i love you Suki.”

The heart monitor went flat sending a irritating buzz throughout the room. Shifuku was fussing in Stains arms and he was just staring at the body of the woman he loved.

#papachizome #hero killer stain #akaguro chizome #my hero academia writing #my hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero #writing #fanfiction #my hero academia fanfiction

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the-drawing-tardis · 4 years

Text

I forgot I made this a few month’s back, but Im posting it now lmao. Anyways, you ever have this like one scene from a book/show/movie you think about all the time? Cuz I do. And its when Fireheart decides to trust Longtail back in A Dangerous Path and discover hes actually a Good Dude, instead of the Tigerstar follower Fireheart thought him to be. I really liked that they showed each other trust and loyalty and I’ll forever be mad we never got to see more of their friendship from that point.

And dont @ me about Longtail’s design, the SSS Warriors animation is too iconic, this is what he looks like in my mind forever, you can’t change my mind

(Watch as the quality of the picture dissapears forever, I have no idea what to save pics as on procreate to retain the best quality or even what canvas to use fjcjdjd)

#warrior cats #fireheart #longtail #art #warrior cats fanart #digital art #the cats in the background are graystripe cloudtail and whitestorm #i was and still am messing sround with procreate to figure out how to best draw stuff #so this was the first time i tried out highlights and lighting lmao #it went... decently id say

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blackgirlblues · 5 years

Text

Being a Black Girl and Finding Love

l o fucking l

impossible

the last time i posted on this blog i was 18, 3 weeks away from leaving my hometown to pursue music in London and upset because my white friends didn’t understand the basics of cultural appropriation.

here i am, back almost a whole year later.

im 19 now, im a singer songwriter living in London, with an amazing group of diverse friends who understand each other and really have eachother’s backs. the last few months have been crazy for me, and i’ve experienced and learned about different parts of myself that i never knew existed because of how suppressed i was in my home environment until i moved.

one of these things that i never really knew that well about myself, was how much i could feel for one person.

growing up, i never really had much luck in the guy department. all my friends were white, and pretty, and most of the time i was the only black girl which, automatically, in society’s eyes- made me the ugly friend. it’s a statement that i know will make whoever reads this gasp. how can i call myself the ugly friend just because i’m the only black girl in the group? the same way our white as fuck society upholds euro-centric beauty standards and gives us warped depictions of what beautiful should be. beautiful in our modern day society means skinny, white and with long hair. its 2019, so this is not as rigid as it used to be, but growing up, it didn’t take long for me to realise that i was not what was desired by any of the guys me or other girls had their eyes on.

not that boys are the be all and end all of life, but we can all agree that as young teenage girls, developing your first crush was a pretty big part of life. and the need to feel desired, and loved, and wanted will always be a big part of the human condition. and this isn’t something i’ve always had the pleasure of experiencing growing up as a young girl the way i watched my other friends have.

i’ll spare you the long emotional details of childhood trauma when it comes to accepting myself and not letting whether white boys think i’m cute or not decide my value, i’ll just cut straight to what’s been keeping me up at 2am for the past 6 months.

two characteristics.

capricorn with green eyes.

i met him randomly at some music networking event and i always think about how weird it was that we somehow met in the first place. i was supposed to have gone home 10 minutes before, picked up an angry call from my dad telling me to go straight home even though he was a whole plane ride away. and my friend - let’s call her ellie, was outraged. “it’s only ten o’ clock you can’t leave”. she sounded stressed, to say the least. so, i didn’t. and 10 minutes later, i bump into him.

fuck him.

pretty smile, pretty eyes, pretty face, pretty laugh and he liked lorde and brockhampton. i was doomed from the start quite honestly.

we exchanged instagrams, he invited me to some event he was putting on and this open mic in shoreditch that he and his friends always went to. and the rest was history that i cant ever seem to properly let go of.

i started going to this shit every week just to see him, and after a couple months started developing a little crush, which after an invitation to some house parties, 2am voice memo conversations, supposed songs written about me (maybe), lingering looks, and a lot of conversations about astrology spiralled into me having full blown feelings for his pretentious ass. and it’s worse because he was never just a stupid boy. he was everything that i had always asked the universe for. i always said, that if the universe ever decided to send me my first boyfriend, that i wanted him to be educated in social issues, intelligent, motivated. capricorn was this.

it’s just a shame that he probably didn’t feel the same way.

i’ve been holding out hope for the longest time that maybe, just maybe, this time, i could finally be the girl that a guy looks at and says “yo, i want her.” the girl that someone looks at and sees something they could love. i wanted to experience the feeling of having someone reciprocate your feelings, and being in a relationship, and learning and growing with eachother. i wanted to have my first kiss and all these other things i dreamt up in my head because that’s what my scorpio ass does best; dreams.

for once, i wanted to be that girl. the girl that’s desired. and not just desired but desired enough that someone truly starts to pursue me.

let me cut to the chase and tell you that didn’t happen here.

i let myself over-analyze, i blamed myself, wondered what i was doing wrong, how i could be “cooler”, if i was “cool enough” to even be with someone like him; that was my first mistake, putting some boy on a pedestal because i was lonely and touch-starved. scorpio ass behaviour.

i let myself get sad when he wouldn’t text, or when he wouldn’t reply how i wanted. when he wouldn’t give me back the same energy i gave to him. i let myself get angry when i would show up to events to support him and he would dissapear for hours or flirt with other girls. because what the fuck? wasn’t i the one? i’m supposed to be the one. it’s my turn to be the one that somebody wants. why did the universe keep dangling something in front of me that i clearly couldn’t have?

i thought that when i moved, everything would be different and somehow the stars would align and i would meet a boy that would finally make me “the one”. finally, i would get to experience everything my friends did while i sat on the sidelines and wished i had what they did.

nah though, that’s not how shit works for girls like me apparently.

girls like me lead ourselves on, the boys don’t even have to do any work.

girls like me bask in the smidge of attention our crush gives us because we thrive off of the hope that somehow, maybe, possibly, they could feel the exact same way we have for so long and that eventually everything will come out and it will be a happy ending.

but what happens when none of that shit goes to plan?

i uploaded some random track that i was pretty proud of, it wasnt an official release so i wasnt really expecting a wide response. and i had been training myself not to expect anything from capricorn so i wouldn’t get hurt. but i couldn’t help the feeling i got when i realized that he didn’t share my song on instagram - which - i know, petty. but it was really the principle that got to me.

i’ve been so supportive of this guy for the longest time. i would always ask about his projects, current and upcoming, hype him up over the littlest things but very rarely did he ever even ask me about what i had planned or about my day, anything he posted relating to his music, i would repost. i would message him saying congratulations, or that his song was fire or that he was just doing a really good job. i’d come to his shows and do the same. and he couldn’t even repost a track on his instagram feed? why? too worried about looking cool and professional for his all his lowkey famous edgy hipster friends?

something switched inside me, really, i just got angry. anger is the key for me a lot of the time. and it helped me realize, as much as it fucking hurt, that i wasn’t and would never get the same energy back from capricorn, no matter how hard i tried. no matter how much or how little i posted. regardless of how i analyzed the lyrics of his songs that i thought were about me, or the content of his instagram posts or his messages back. i would never get what i was putting in. and i still don’t know why.

i don’t know why i never seem to be enough for the ones i truly want. but then did i really want him or the idea of him? regardless, i get neither at the end of the day. and that shit hurts, because this time, i let my hopes get higher and higher.

and boy is it a long way down.

my minds gone through many phases when it comes to him, but i think im finally at the point where im just accepting the fact that he doesnt want me even though i want him.

so bad.

and maybe its the 3am talking, but i dont think anybody will ever want me in the way i want them.

one time when i was 15, one of my friends said she couldn’t ever imagine me in a relationship. i cant either.

maybe i’m unlovable, maybe love and relationships just aren’t supposed to be a thing for someone like me.

i don’t really know if i believe in love anymore- which i know seems a bit dramatic all because of one guy but please understand its really an accumulation of things over the past few years of my growth.

nothing the universe has given me or shown me tells me that i could ever find love in any place i look.

so, i’m just going to stop looking.

and i’m going to stop hoping, and manifesting, and wishing on 11:11′s, and on stars that i’m too far away to reach.

and i’m going to stop opening my heart to every person who glances at it and smiles.

and i’m going to stop giving the best version of myself to boys who wont even give me a quarter of what they are.

and i’m going to stop thinking like just because i’ve moved countries that things have changed for me.

and i’m going to accept that love isn’t something that was made for me.

it never was.

at least now i know for sure.

#black girl #black love #first love #first kiss #young love #crush #unrequited love #sad thoughts #poem #poems on tumblr #text post #confessions of a black girl #diary of a black girl

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years

Text

3AM Drive - Thru (JJKx You x The8/Minghao) // Chapter 9

MASTERLIST

Jungkook grab her hand.

“Y/N I need to talk to you. Please,” he then turned to Minghao who starts to stand up. “And it would be wise if you do not interfere. This is between me and her,”

////////

“Yah Y/N. Why are you talking to MY Kookie and his oppas like that, you psychotic fan!? Dont you know who he is? Who they are? Who I am?”

“Minji, stop it. Just-”

“Its okay Jungkook-ssi. Minji-ssi, I apologize. I will asks someone else to assist all of you for the broadcast,”

“Y/N, you dont have to-”

“Let go of my hand Jungkook-ssi. Please respect Minji-ssi’s feelings. Afterall, I am not of importance to you,”

———————————————————-

Since that night, Jungkook’s mood is noticably happier. He wakes up every morning whistling and his steps has more bounce, a smile never seems to leave his face.

Yes, he admits he feels some kind of way watching how close Y/N’s is with Minghao, but he also feels some kind of way just by seeing her. Something he will never admit to anyone else. He managed to exchange numbers with her that night, and so does the rest of the boys (to Minghao’s displeasure), and they started to text each other since then.

The conversation might consist innocents how are yous, have you eaten and random what are you doing, and most of the time she only give a one word reply, but its enough for Jungkook. He just really miss you. Y/N, after all, used to be his best friend.He justified her not too chatty reply with her being busy. She is next in line to be the CEO afterall.

Despite Jungkook texting her every day without miss, he never actually met up with her other than the occasional dinner with Minghao and the other boys. Until the manager informs Jungkook and his hyungs that they will be doing a reality variety show with the in house production from one of Y/N’s broadcasting company.

He took this opportunity to invite Y/N to hang out with him and his hyungs, using ‘You should get to know us. It will help the recording process better’ as an excuse. Its important to him that Y/N gets to know the most importabt people in his life. Y/N, naive as she is, didnt think anything of it and agreed for the sake of her work.

“Hyungs, please, please behave okay. Especially you Tae,” Jungkook point his finger to Taehyung who is doing weird things with his bowls.

“Why is it always me!?” Taehyung exclaim.

“You know why Tae. Don’t ask stupud questions,” Jin chimed in.

“Hey, but are you so nervous? I thought she is just the head producer or something? I’ve never seen you like this when we were filming before,” Namjoon rubbed his chin, confused with the maknae. “Is she-”

“Hello everyone,” Y/N who had just arrived bowed to all of them. Hoseok eyes went wide when he realize you are the Song Y/N that he saw on TV the other day. The rest of the boys also just realizing the fact.

“Hey! Aren’t you-”

“This is Song Y/N,” Jungkook cut off Taehyung. Y/N smile, bowed and shake hands with everyone. After taking a seat besides Jungkook and getiing comfortable, the other boys starts to get to know Y/N. Y/N answered every question that is thrown her way comfortably and full of charms, which the boys enjoy. Jungkook is amazed at how smooth and amazing Y/N is at handling his hyungs and making everyone she met for the first time comfortable.

“So you and Jungkook looks close. How do you guys know each other?” Namjoon asks while stuffing some beef wraps into his mouth.

“Oh we used to be-” “I’m close friends with Minghao-”

Both Jungkook and Y/N answer at the same time but with totally different answer. The rest of the boys looks at them, confused. Jimin raised his eyebrows, sensing something is off. Jungkook looks at Y/N. Y/N just avoid his eyes and continue to answer like nothing happen.

“I am close friends with Minghao from Seventeen,”

“Oh, The8?”

“Yes. He introduced me to Jungkook and the rest of their 97 liner group. That’s how we know each other,”

Jungkook cant believe Y/N didnt even want people to know that they had been friends, and even more, way before she even met Minghao. That fact alone feels like a thousand needles poking through his heart, but he guess Y/N really just wants to forget the past. Their past. He just wish she would stop mentioning Minghao’s name.

The meet up goes well. His hyungs sang praises for her, even long after she went home. Jungkook already expected it. Y/N is incredible, who wouldnt like her? I should have introduce her to them way before. Maybe even while we were still together. Jungkook sigh to himself. He excuse himself to take a walk to clear his mind.

“Okay JK. Be safe. Are you going to go see Minji?”

“Urm.. urm.. yeah,” Jungkook just nodded, to avoid more suspicious questions. Minji havent been on his mind for a while now. In fact they havent seen each other for about 2 months. She’s busy with her comeback and he’s busy with…, well, he’s busy with Y/N.

But he did see Minji posted screenshots of their text messages and sometimes his voice note wishing her 'goodnight and I love you Minji’ , which to be honest, he didnt do it as a sweet boyfriend act, but because Minji forced him to do it. She wanted something to feed the fans. Afterall, as she had mentioned a thousand times before, they are idol relationship goals.

The route of his walk seems familiar even though he didnt plan it. He realized its the way he always uses with Y/N when they walk for her 3am midnight snack , way back when they first move into their apartment after graduation.

“I wonder if you will still crave for fries and chicken nuggets when we are 60 and too old to actually walk here,”

“I dont mind walking here even when we are 70 and need a walker, as long as you are in the walker next to mine,”

“I think we need about 3 hours just to get here then,” Jungkook giggled.

“More time to spend with you then. I love you so much Kookie. I would be the happiest girl alive to just be 70 and eating McDonald’s fries as long as its by your side,” Y/N tip- toed and kiss him.

“Then I promise I will make you the happiest girl alive. I love you Y/N. I will always love you. I dont think I know how to do otherwise,”

“Promise?”

“Promise,”

Jungkook snapped out of his memories when he felt his cheek is wet with tears. He no longer need to hold it in and start sobbing. The memories of being with Y/N came back one by one, all of them mocking him for his stupid selfish mistake. I’m sorry Y/N. If I could turn back time I would, and I will keep my promise to make you the happiest girl alive. But I promise I will make things right again.

——————-

Jungkook stepped out from the van and enter the building. He feels great! Today was the first day of recording for the reality variety show, which means he will be spending a lot of time with Y/N. What’s not to feel great about?

“Kookie, baby!” A high shrill voice calls out to him, followed by a sound of high heels running. He whipped his head around to see his supposed girlfriend, Minji, and her group members. Both BTS and 2Hearts greeted each other.

“What are you doing here Minji?”

“Didnt they tell you? Both of our group are doing the show together Kookie. The manager thinks it would help the ratings as we are the power couple and both of our groups had toured together before,” Minji latched onto Jungkook’s arm.

This can’t be happening. Jungkook shakes his head. What if Y/N sees? Then again, what’s wrong if Y/N did see? Jungkook and Minji is officially a couple and even Y/N herself know about them. Jungkook felt a lump in his throat and the good mood he wakes up with definitely dissapeared.

“Okay, BTS and 2Hearts, this is the main studio where we will be shooting the series. Since its only 30 minutes per episode, I dont think it will take long to shoot each episode,” Y/N explained to them. Jungkook keeps on looking at Y/N, even with Minji still latching on his arm. He’s nervous and sweating like crazy. He just reconcile their friendship and he would like to keep it thay way. But Y/N acts perfectly normal and unaffected. Showing them around and briefing them regarding the shoot.

Y/N came in the dressing room to check up on them before the shoot. Due to the friendship between Y/N and BTS that has formed when Jungkook introduced them the other day, the boys had told her to just be comfortable with them. While Y/N is laughing and joking with the boys, Minji is giving her the stink eye.

“Unnie, why is she so close to them? This is so unprofessional. How can a production staff act this way. How can they hire a fan girl as a staff?”

“Yah Minji. She’s not just a staff. She’s the-” one of her group members try to explain who Y/N is since Jin has told her earlier about Y/N’s status and her forming friendship with BTS. But she was cut off by the fuming Minji.

“Yah Y/N. Why are you talking to MY Kookie and his oppas like that, you psychotic fan!? Dont you know who he is? Who they are? Who I am?” both BTS and 2Hearts members turned to look at her in shocked. “Don’t you know we are idols? International stars? I cant believe they assigned a fan girl like you to assist this production!”

“Minji, stop it. Just-” Jungkook stood up. Trying to stop his crazy girlfriend. Minji is fuming and is now standing in front of Y/N.

“And stop flirting with Jungkook! Dont you have any shame? He’s an idol and you are just a nobody. Plus, how dare you flirt with him in front of me, his girlfriend!,” Minji latched herself on Jungkook’s arm again. Y/N’s face, which was calm before, scrunched a bit when she heard the word flirting and a nobody.

“Stop it Minji,” Jungkook finally raised his voice, shrugging her off. Minji was shocked that Jungkook would use that kind of tone with her, her mouth fell wide open and her hand on her chest. “You don’t-”

“Its okay Jungkook-ssi. Minji-ssi, I sincerely apologize for my behaviour if you deem it to be inappopriate. I will asks someone else to assist all of you for the broadcast,” Y/N cut Jungkook off, bowing to apologize.

Its not that she admits that what Minji did is right and nor is she afraid of her. But she’s the soon to be CEO and she needs to handle the situation calmly and profesionally. Minji is not the first celebrity with the diva syndrome that she had ever encounter. She works in a broadcast company, she met handful of celebrities every day.

“Y/N, you dont have to-”

“Let go of my hand Jungkook-ssi. Please respect Minji-ssi’s feelings. Afterall, I am no one important to you,”

Y/N shrugged off her hand from Jungkook’s grip and went out to find another staff to assist the recording, leaving Jungkook speechless. ——————

“Miss, are you okay?” A staff rushed after her.

“Yeah I’m fine Jin Hee. But please assign two of the senior staff to assist the recording ya. We need to make sure this project runs smoothly,” she smiles at her staff. She nodded quickly.

“Aish, what a diva! Its not like she’s Taylor Swift or Beyonce. Dont she know who you are miss?” Jin Hee huffed. Y/N shakes her head.

“She doesn’t and its fine. And dont say that. Be profesional okay. Now go,”

“Miss, you are really too nice for your own good,” Y/N just chuckle to that. She grabbed her files and move towards her office. Oh well, she can just monitor the show from the updates then.

Y/N decided to take an early day and just go home. She entered her office to grab her jacket and purse and her smile turn wide by what’s waiting in her office. All her worries seems to flew away.

“Hello miss CEO. Want to grab lunch with me?”

“You will never find a day where I will say no to that, Minghao,”

——————–

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jungkook screamed at his so called girlfriend. Once Y/N went out from the room, Jungkook immediately drag Minji outside to knock some sense into her.

“What do you mean Kookie? Everything I said in there was true. How can a mere production staff treat you and your oppas like that? And how dare she flirt with you?! You are my boyfriend Kookie! Right in front of my eyes!”

“Urghhhh. Just shut up Minji. Dont you know who she is? She’s the freaking soon to be CEO of this company!” Minji mouth dropped open.

“Wh..what?”

“And even if she’s not, even if she’s just a production staff, why is it a crime for her to be friendly to us? We are just idols Minji. This is just our job. We are not Gods! And my hyungs and I are fucking friends with her!!” Jungkook is losing it.

Minji’s mouth open and close like a fish, speechless. “Fine. Maybe I was wrong about that. But it still doesnt give her the right to flirt with you Kookie! You are my boyfriend!”

“She wasn’t flirting!!” Jungkook screamed. “I would know. And even if she is, so what? That would be the happiest day of my life is she did!”

“Wha..what? What the hell did you just say? What do you mean by that Kookie?”

“Shut up. Just shut up! And stop calling me that. I hate it when you call me that. Arghhh, I don’t know anymore. I just need to get away from you!” Jungkook screamed once more and stormed off. He needs to find Y/N and explain things. What should he be explaining, he himself doesn’t know, but he just knows he needs to see her now.

He was worried and panicking. Is Y/N okay? She seems like she didn’t care back there. Does she really not care about me anymore? Jungkook pushed the thoughts away and focus on finding her.

He stormed into the huge cafeteria. With not so many people around since its past lunch hour, he saw her at a secluded corner, but she’s not alone. Sitting across of her, wiping crumbs from her chin while she’s happily laughing is Minghao. Xu freaking Minghao. Dont get him wrong, Jungkook loves all his friendd very much. He even treasures their friendship but when it comes to Y/N… its a totally different issue.

Losing all rational thoughts, Jungkook stormed into their direction and grab Y/N’s hand.

“Hey, Jungkook. What are you doing he-” Minghao greeted his friend but was rudely cut off.

“Y/N I need to talk to you. Please,” he then turned to Minghao who starts to stand up, confusion in his eyes at Jungkook’s action. “And it would be wise if you do not interfere. This is between me and her,”

———————————————————– Chapter 10 preview

“What is really going on between you and Jungkook, Y/N? Please tell me the truth. Please, please, tell me that I won’t be losing you to him,”

//////

“All my life, all I know is how to love him. I never thought I would know how to do anything else. Until I met you Minghao. I think I’m finally ready to learn something new…”

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lonelylittletransgirl · 4 years

Text

3:58am - 13/05/2020

i’m gonna try and tell the rest of the story, its now been 4 months and a day since last talking to him, this writing is stream of thought im not editing any of this fyi

the introduction to rowan was a messy night, I had just finished work and it was probably around midnight, i recall it being a cold night, i wasnt in the best of mood, as dan and i wrapped foh shutdown i noticed a new person in the discord, everyone was in vc, so i joined in, and asked who this new person was. after being teased for a few hours over being jealous of the new person i went to bed, i think i cried myself to sleep? i forget, but i remember it was cold, talking on discord driving home, not a fun night at all.

within the first month of rowan joining he quickly became close with felix, lots of flirting, suggesting things he wanted to do to the boy, and the boy asked for it, soaked up the attention, felix took pride in me being jealous, he fed off it, he’d ask if i was jealous of rowan, and he’d giggle while asking, i hated rowan, and rowan hated me.

a lot of shit happened, but i forget most of it, im gonna skip ahead to the day we met rowan, because its significant to me, and is the most i can remember anymore.

the day we where gonna meet rowan we planned on exploring an abandoned house, i really didnt wanna go, but felix needed someone to drive him, and i didnt want felix to go without me, i was scared id loose him otherwise, so i went along. i woke up that morning and immedietly had an anxiety attack, i felt like i was going to puke, i was trembling, i could barely tie my shoes, but i managed to get some water, got dressed, and made my way to pickup felix. outside of his house anxiety really hit me again, i thought i was gonna puke, or faint, and felix just sat in the passenger seat, asked if i was okay, and if i was ready to go, he didnt seem to actually care about me, but it was whatever. we met up with rowan, and he was... okay ngl he was kinda cute, tall, nice hair, well dressed, but i was too busy hating him for trying to take felix to actually crush on him, so... yea. we met up with chris and the rest of the discord group shortly after, drove around, couldnt go into the abandoned house because there where workers there, we drove to chris’s house, chris played video games, i just kinda sat there, trying to not cry, while rowan held felix in his arms like a baby, kissing in view of everyone, i hated rowan. finally we had to leave, felix had work, i dropped felix off at his house, then dropped rowan off at the bus station so he could get back to hamilton, i went to go see xander, and that was that day.

rowan increasingly felt the need to call me out that im not dating felix and got more and more protective and possessive of him, as it turns out, felix had been hiding rowan from me since september, i got more and more desperate for felix’s attention, i started self harming more frequently and more visibly, he didnt care, i started threatening suicide, i got to a point mentally where i thought it might be time to take myself to a hospital to stop myself from doing anything dumb, but my busy work schedule + not being able to just dissapear from home meant that was a complete non option.

more things happened, we made a seperate group chat for sending tasteful nudes of ourselves to; idk why, but i partook, i didnt enjoy anything anyone else sent, but i wanted attention and validation, so i partook. there was another night that was kinda meaningful, felix and i where gonna sleep over, but then felix invited chris over, and i didnt want chris to come over, but he came anyways, stayed for an hour or two, then had to go to work and was gonna come back after work, i ended up crying for over an hour once chris left, and had to leave myself, stayed at xanders house instead.

finally, we reached a point, the 20th of january, i was at felix’s house, and i was in a bad mood, i had a bad night the night before, and i had cut myself quite a bit compared to previous, felix was hiding his phone screen from me, nothing out of the ordinary, but i caught a glimse, i realized he was on my tumblr, then suddenly he grabbed me and looked at my scars, scolded me for cutting, then went back to his phone what looked like screen shotting my tumblr. see, i started my previous tumblr similar to this one, for venting, and i shared the link with felix for some stupid reason, but i started catering the phrasing of my posts to include the things i wanted felix to know about, and started omitting the things i didnt want him to know, i would purposely include things i wanted to linger in his mind, and at this point he was going back through them all, realizing what kind of things ive been saying/feeling; i looked at him, and asked if i should leave, he said no, but i did end up going home. that night he sat in voice with rowan, his ex, and chris, i didnt join i was too busy crying. next morning i came online, and noticed it was quiet, i messaged felix asking if he wanted to hang out later in the week, and he left me on delivered for hours. i texed him again that night around 9:30pm asking if we where okay, and got no reply. finally, i messaged chris, asking what was up with felix, and the response i got was that chris isnt supposed to tell me, but rowan and felix’s ex convinced felix im a bad person, and that im toxic, and bad for felix. i felt sick, i couldnt stop crying, i knew it’d come to this point, and i tried so hard to keep him, but he finally gave up on me, i went to xanders house and cried more, finally, at 11:32pm i messaged felix, i appologized for everything, i thanked him for being a decent person to me when nobody else would be and that was that.

I dont know how i feel about it, writing this out makes me feel numb, im not crying, im just shaking, i wanna hurt myself, i wanna get in my car and drive off to nowhere and fall asleep forever, i hate felix, hes a terrible shitty person who hurt me when i was vulnerable and in need, i feel taken advantage of, like i was just some toy to use and throw away, and he almost seems to enjoy my suffering, i cry about him every few days, look at the memories we made together, he was such an important part of my life, he was the best part of my life, the only thing i had to look forward to every week, honestly without him i dont even know if i’d be alive, and to him i was just some weird obsessed creepy trans girl.

i’ve texted him a few times since then, he’s never replied, i miss him a lot, but idk if i can take him back anymore without being scared of getting hurt again.

and i think thats the whole story of felix and i, i fucking loved him to death, and sometimes still do, but he treated me in ways that im not even sure are normal or not anymore, i want him back so badly, id do anything for him, but i hate him, he’s a terrible person who deserves to feel the loneliness ive gone through for almost 20 years

i guess the only addition is that i ended up kinda crushing on rowan for like a good month or two, idk why

its not 4:54am and i need to write down all the shit i wanna bring up in therapy because thats something i need to pay more attention to

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fyrapartnersearch · 6 years

Text

Dedicated RP partner

Hii My name's Nia! Hope everyone is having a lovely day for starters.

Now before i even get into the rp stuff itself i just want to say please please please do not reply or email me if you know you have a habit of disappearing or that if your life has a habit of making you dissapear for months on end. I am am extreamly loyal rper and has had rps that have lasted 3+ years and others that have lasted nearly as long. So i need someone willing to be just as loyal.

Now dont get me wrong, i undestand life gets in the way. And if you need even up to a month off its cool. Its no problem as I am also very patient. But I have been let down by too many people with that situation. And because i only do long term rps its really really fustrating

On another note,I'm a very passionate writer. I can write from ten to 70 paragraphs on a good day. But my average is 15-20 per post. Im pretty detailed all around and very plot oriented(which is why people who dissapear is so fustrating lol). I also really like to talk about the rp with my partner. While its not required it is fun to talk and joke around about the story and characters especially when neither of us is able to get out a post right away. Plus I have noticed that doing so keeps the rp petty fun and less stressful especially when we're busy.

Sometimes though i have noticed just through experience that some people ditch rps or give them up because of lack of interest or it becomes boring to them or simply (as i been told) that they cant keep up with my writing.....Now as my partner if your not feeling the story let me know. As its not hard to start a new rp but it is hard to find a new partner. If you can write well then instead of dissapearing lets fix the story so that it will work. I want us to both work together so that we both enjoy the story and have fun while making it. Hell if you want to do multiple rps at a time or side rps from the main story because its an idea that you really are passionate about then im all for it.

But do not just up and dissapear or just quit. A break? Definitely. Straight up quitting please dont.

I know a lot of what i said sounds repetitive but not being able to even finish an arc or a plot in a long term story is really fustrating. And if you understand where I'm coming from then you'll also understand how much it makes you want to quit. Especially when you know your a good writer. I know i quit, but the urge to write a good story got the best of me lol.

So please, if you know you cant do long term novel style stories or cant just be a faithful partner please dont bother emailing me. Before we even rp i send a excerpt of my writing and style just so you can get an idea of how i write. If you feel as though you cant keep up then let me know. If you want to try,then let the story be short term. But if your confident well....

You deserve a metal lol. And i am sure we will make awesome stories together but be sure to send an example of your writing too and what your looking for.

Now if you made it this far Im sorry for the long rant. But its definitely something that had to be said. Anywho heres my stats and what not and all that jazz.

TimeZone: EST

Age: 19

Email: [email protected]

So rp wise i really love horror romance(with some comedy relief here and there) and overall dark themes. But with a good amount of character development. Now the genre doesn't have to stay like that throughout the rp. The genre will definitely change depending on the plot and characters development. But again if theres a side rp that you want to do that's just one of your creations aside from the main rp i really dont mind what genre it is.

Pairing wise, I really dont care what your character is. Just know the main character i create wont be human. I have an entire species bio,and dont worry its nothing godmode or extreme its simply not human lol. And I tend to make slight modifications to the creature as well depending on the other persons character. I also have other creatures too and a whole world written out if you care to see it lol. Also i dont care what gender you chose either for your character. I play both. But i will say I only do M/F pairings. Sorry lol.

I think that is all. If you have any questions do ask. I have very little restrictions that apply to the rp other than dont turn it into a porno for every other post

If you still have interest i would love to hear some of your ideas. Cause i already have a ton i want to use. If not well i wish you the best on finding an rp partner.

Thank for reading this far though. Have a lovely day!

#multiple paragraph #long term #submission

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beclookingforkayleigh · 7 years

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Missing her so bad

Back again, i deleted all the other posts. I guess i gave up. I had managed to convience myself she just wasnt real, that she took me losing my phone as the perfect opportunity she must have been waiting for, to just dissapear. Catfished.

But thinking that every day is hurting me so bad. Id rather believe shes real and out there...i guess even if shes not its still easier to think this way

I just miss her

Literally not an hour has passed since June 29th where she hasnt crossed my mind multiple times.

Again: if anyone can help all i know is the following:

Shes called Kayleigh

Shes from Wisbech

She works at a post office

She plays football

Shes 30

She has Crohns

Thats literally it. Ive looked at every Kayleigh i could find in Wisbech on social media. Ive been to all the post offices there, ive messaged the 2 football teams in Wisbech...

Nothing...god i dont even know if shes real!!

She made me smile like i havent smiled in years. She made me feel full of life and optimistic...happy. i never even got a chance to meet her but she had the biggest impact on me. I fell for her...over a month on Whatsapp. That might sound crazy to some...but i cant stop thinking, if i can feel that much for her before we even met, how good would it be to be with her. I want to protect her and love her..ARGH!!!

I felt like she really liked me...i just want to find her, see what is really real.

#rebeccakayleigh

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skyquack-blog · 7 years

Photo

I am in such a bad mood you guy's A survivor story WiLL FolloW Legit this is a story of triumph and survival... Please read this. If i ever post anything important THIS is it so please for me read this!! This is my story and its pretty amazing. :'( Here i want all ya'll judging me right now to read this and think about it for a moment okay... This is what i wish would happen to you ass holes who cant keep you fucking opnions and scruteny to yourself... Okay!! Go back in time and be essentially a "shut in" with no actual friends to hang out with or talk to mostly because your suffering from certin aspects of schizophrenia that you as well as your family arent aware of... so here we are living under a rock way more quiet than the average human being dealing with weird ass issues like hearing voices and feeling like people can hear your thoughts and feel your emptional states so as a result you shut up and keep to yourself all the time... Then for the first time ever since ever you move to town and get yourself a friend who is mind you border line psychotic but she likes you and shes fun... now 6 months of this and suddenly BOOM your pregnant at 17... your baby daddy dont wanna hang around dont seem to give a fuck bout you even tho he does ect... Spend the next 2 years of your life fighting hard core yelling matches breaking things in a desperate ploy to get your baby daddy to fucking come home... Fight like this hard every day damn near for 2 fucking years b4 you finally give up... Then at 20 i want you to be the single mom of 2 children work every day pay all your own bills take care of and try to raise 2 kids all the while looking back on your bad relationship trying to find a new better more loving and equal partner ship (as a parent so young mind you your only 20)... and now here is for the fun part... Your 22 years old now and you found your self a psychopath... yup full on crazy ass mother fucking manipulative beyond your wildest understanding of manipulation im talking weird mk ultra shit going on and you fall head over heels in love... Great things are stupid as fuck by now but hey your in love who care right??? Well they get even dumber for some unknown reason to you still to this day your kids dad and his family decide to rip your 3 year olkd son away from you and your in a state of total SHOCK and cant seem to even think............ Cant even think........... Your still in shock....... Your son is gone. SEVERAL MONTHS PASS B4 your even allowed to talk to him........ your 3 year old son.... its just you the baby and the psychopath and daily texts from your BFF..... You finally push loosing physical custody and not being abel to have ANY contact with your son of which YOU HAVE COMPLETLY TAKEN CARE OF AND RAISED BY YOUR FUCKING SLEF so deep down insode of you it hurts even to simply think about him but now you get to visit CAUTIOUSLY btw.... Are we done yet??? NOPE!!! Alrigh well now your 23 god damn years old you survived a horrible relationship screaming and fighting, having your 3 year old son ripped away from you DATING A PSYCHOPATH (which has its own uneik set of fucking issues btw like rejection on a constant basis as well as being manipulated into self destruction yourself as well as your life without knowing your doing it) Dating a psychopath.... LOOK IT UP and suddenly out of no fucking ware you go through one of THE MOST INTENSE ONSETS OF SCHIZOPHRENIA most people and doctors could imagine happening to somebody... I mean normally people notice little symptoms like hearing voices and shit... Its already a rare brain disorder but its even less frequent for somebody to go through a full blown psychosis... Thats you... That 1 in 1million out of a billion going through a psychosis RAISING 2 CHILDREN IN LOVE WITH A PSYCHOPATH MENDING A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP WITH THERE CONTROLLING ANGRY FATHER ECT... EVERYONE THINKS YOUR HIGH ON DRUGS AND YOUR NOT.... Also not only are you experiencing this intense onset but your BFF ditches you cuz shes a huge attention whore bitch and suddenly you actually need her to be there ONLY for you and she just cant have that in her life so now your alone in the world... AGAIN!! For several years actually... You spend years recovering yourself your personality your ability to properly communicat eand associate or identify with yourself and the world around you because yeah the onset was that bad... Your relearnign and TEACHING YOURSELF how to human agin (nobody knows nobody gives a fuck) it was bad people... really really bad!!! Okay cool you think you have been through enough so quickly right i mean like within a 3 or 4 year time span you've encountered the worst of the worst for the most part loosing your son giving up week days with you daughter DATING A PSYCHOPATH that stupid relationship that was hugely stressful Did i mention that you were working full time paying all yo bills on yo own taking care of yo kiddow by yourself living essentially completly isolated at least 20 minutes to half an hour away from EVERYBODY you know you indapendent as fuck b4 this onset... SOBER dont even drink!! Your good to go... like good to fucking go... But no during this onset you loose your JOB ($10 an hour mind you that you were bad ass at and loved and ready to retire from) you loose your car you loose your house (for the better part of owning a home you cant live in it anymore) you LOOSE YOUR GOD DAMN MIND LITERALLY its gone schizo psychosis took it from you and held you captive no joke... your insane... considering your an adult now and not a child and your less susceptable to things you should be done by now right... NOPE so your by this point LONELY as fuck and kind of clueless cuz why has life been so hard for me man like i didnt intentionally fuck shit up for myself you know... i really honestly didnt... and you have a new outlook on things which is kind of really uneik considering how things have gone for you, your boundaries thanks to the schizo are all fucked up and off but you have managed to like regain certin aspects of your personality enough to feel strong and confident and your head on going itno life full force with hope and determination you got a year and a half of university under your belt ect... your not done... Your addicted to meth right now... yup whole heartedly consuming the shit out of one of the worst drugs IN THE WORLD right now... You know your addicted (your 26 btw) and your doing your absoulte best to quit (have i mentioned thanks to the schizo you pretty much went a year without physical custody of your other kiddo just so you could actually manage that year and a half in college which killed you every singel day to be away from her so that was hard) well even though your really trying to stop like really trying so hard you call 911 one night and ask an officer for help... okay cool your like a fucking METH ADDICT HERO by all tweeker standards lolz Well you go to some friends for help and instead of keeping it in the family they call DFS and even though you have done EVERYTIHG in your power INCLUDING giving you kiddow to friends of the family to look after while you go to rehab ect... yeah now you actually legally lost custody of your kid... The light of your life is gone... YOU ARE ALONE IN THE WORLD NOW... (both your fucking kids have been taken from you OMFG your entire life has been built arounf being a fuckin parent and now your nothing but a drug addict... they say time dont matter but dang a year on meth and my ENTIRE LIFE DISSAPEARED BEFORE MY EYES) you have nobody and nothing to look forward to on a dily baisis now... what do you do though?? By now youd think with all you been through how lonely you are how much of yourself and your life and the people you love that you have lost youd sink into a full blown life destroying meth addction... NOPE you actually get clean... YOU GOT SOBER OFF METH OF ALL DRUGS against all the odds set before you YOU GOT CLEAN (does anybody care nope) god i mean your not a success story at all by now. Not only have you survived being a single mom at such a young age as well as survived an tramatizing schizophreina onset loosing both of your kids and got away from a PSYCHOPATH but now you have survived a fucking meth addiction... JESUS CHRIST YOUR AN INSPIRATION do people think this about you??? NO not at all... your a looser fuck up crazy weirdo... damn and you thought you were doing good... nope... not yet... All you had through all of this was your mom. figures the strongest person you know is your fucking mom. Like nobody has survived as much shit as your mom accept you by this point. Sooo thanks mom for always being there when i needed you the most.. okay cool so here we are 7 fucking years later things have chilled out FINALLY for sure you got this after all that bull shit your pretty much back to normal and you got shit under control... K well i want you to look around and realize that nobody gives a shit... Your a LEGIT survivor and not one fucking person (welp accept oyur mom cuz shes the only one who really knows) gives a shit and people are constantly judging you thinkning you should have a job and be trying harder at life ect... You not doing the mom thing well enough your not doing the stay at home wife thing well enough your not being a productive member of society ect... Go through all that stereotypical DIFFICULT and CHALLENGING as well as RARE INSANITY and loss and then well and then place yourself under as much scrutiny as you can possibly imagin... Look around and realize that all the people in your life (beside maybe your mom) think your a puriah of the system cuz your living off a dissability check (a whopping $500 a month) a crazy weirdo your nothing but an insane weirdo looser lazy person... The only way anyobody will ever have any respect for you is if you get a pathetic $8 an hour job and pull yourself away from life as you know it now and work like the rest of humanity... GET A FUCKING JOB AND BE A BETTER PARENT BECAUSE YOUR A POS int he eyes of a lot of people close to you... CLEAN YOUR FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK 9 course meals every single day... Your a looser I feel like dying right now... No joke :/ Im having a really bad fucking day~!!!!! Somebody mail me a fucking gold star okay!!

#schziophrenia #struggle #FML #addiction #recovery #life #love

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