#fucked up fanfics

[legendaryskeletonpicklewolf]

I DONT KNOW WHO MADE THIS BUT YOUR FUCKING DISGUSTING! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THIS!?!?!

#no #borderlands #fucked up fanfics #fucked up #tftbl #borderlands 3 #tales from the borderlands #in not going to tag rhys for obvious reasons

[prokopetz]

Fact: The earliest reliably dated use of the phrase “fucked up” appears in the court records of a US Navy court-martial case from 1863; the way the phrase is used suggests that its meaning was already well known at the time, but this is the first known printed record of it that we can confidently put a date to.

Additional fact: Bram Stoker’s Dracula is set in 1897.

Conclusion: It would not anachronistic for your Dracula fanfic to have a character describe the Count as a fucked up old man.

#media #literature #dracula #bram stoker's dracula #fandom #fanfic #history #language #linguistics #etymology #swearing #sherlock holmes could also say 'fucked up' #he wouldn't #but he could

[just-french-me-up]

I'm sorry, cringe culture can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause it's dead!

#fandom #fandom culture #writing #fanart #fanfiction #fanfiction writing #fanfiction writers #fanfic #artists #look free yourself from the preconceived notion that your creativity has limits #draw that character however the fuck you want #write that OC #draw that OC #publish a fic with that ship you like #write self insert #fuck your fav character if you want? Hell #15 of them if you want #it's all made up #it's all in our heads #it's fine #just be respectful of people #and don't commit crimes i guess #also pretending you never imagined yourself as part of your fav narrative.... please #we're all weird it's fine #it's called being human #the sooner we all realise that the sooner we can have fun #mine

[elexuscal]

squinting at the 'fix it fic' tag on any given story on Ao3, trying to discern if it's intended in the sense of:

I genuinely think the story had bad writing and I am taking my toolbox and improving it [and i the reader agree]

I genuinely think the story had bad writing and I am taking my toolbox and improving it [and i the reader disagree]

The story's ending was Tragic and I Respect that but also i just want to read about my faves having some kind of joy and fulfilment okay?

The story's ending was Tragic and I do Not Respect That please God Damnit Let Them Be Happy

We Are Literally Fixing The Canon With The Application of Time Travel or Reality Warping or some other Wild Plot Device

I am going to fix one obscure detail or plot element that 95% of the fandom has never thought about in their life

(because these are all extremely different vibes)

#fanfic #ao3 #also shout out to those who write fix its of their own fucked up angst fic

[sp0o0kylights]

I'm rewatching S3 and there's a part at the very end of the 7th episode where Mike tells Dustin he couldn't understand half of what he said over the walkie.

Dustin responds by going: "Goddamn low battery"

AND STEVE, our BOY responds by going "How many times do I have to tell you with the low battery!?"

WHICH MEANS: this is a situation that's happened before, specifically, happened enough between the two of them that Steve's bitched multiple times about how Dustin needs to replace his batteries more often bc he lets them go low.

So either somewhat vigilant Steve is canon OR (the more likely scenario canon wise) Dustin bothers the living shit out of Steve with the walkie and Steve just casually accepts this as part of their friendship, and gets annoyed when Dustin's battery dies on the reg lol.

#fanfic wise you can use this as a basis for hyper vigiliant Steve or PTSD signs Steve #but I love the idea of Dustin just fucking #asking Steve six million questions #half of which end up with Steve going “fucks sake where are you I'll show/prove/answer/etc this IN PERSON DUSTIN”

[dan-under-the-bed]

I don't think fanfics or fandoms will ever get the absolute insanity that was sbi ever again like you could put tommyinnit in any situation with his little found family and it would work

Like you want superhero/supervillain fics? You got em

You want space fics? Right over here

Mermaid fics? Yep

Zombie apocalypse? Don't even have to ask twice

You could have a random thought of the wildest au and he would fit right in and I dont believe anything will ever come close to what that was

#sbi #sbi fanfic #tommyinnit #philza minecraft #found family #fanfic #ao3 #technoblade #fuck the other guy #dsmp #like just looked up #zombie apocolypse au #in a different fandom #14 fics #half are written by the same person

[yourlocalabomination]

I am not immune to funny crackships.

+ Bonus

#*falsettos your chasitys* #this started out as a ‘aha yea they fucked once in highschool’ joke for me how did I end up here #it went from ‘Teddy: yea man it doesn’t count if your socks are on’ to queer teen situationship in the 90s angst with religious overtones #I would like to blame everyone who has made holybastard fanart/fanfics for converting me #I don’t see them as a long term relationship but more on an active affair between two old high school ‘friends’ #I drew these while listening to The Last Dinner Party ans now I can’t stop thinking about holy bastard to some of their songs #‘picture me in bed- under your crucifix- under your long black hair- I’ll see you on Sunday’ are actual lyrics how can I not- #I just impor you to listen (there only 5 songs as of now) and do the same- ESPECIALLY SINNER ITS SUCH A MARK CODED SONG #who would have figured the queer ex religious person would be a sucker for queer relationships with religious themes #grace chasity #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #mark chasity #holy bastard #starkid #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid fanart #starkid animation #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #nerdy prudes must die fanart #npmd fanart #npmd starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #hatchetfield universe #fanart #my art #my animation

[rubywingsracing]

Partners in Crime

LandOscar Spy/Assassin AU!

#f1 #mclaren #papaya army #lando norris #f1 fanart #oscar piastri fanfic #landoscar spy au #spy au #assassin au #hitmen #landoscar fanart #landoscar fanfic #oscar piastri fanart #lando norris fanart #ln4 fanart #op81 #they fuck shit up fr #hot as hell ngl #they could murder me any day #the landoscar brain rot is all consuming #formula one fanart #formula one #f1blr #f1 rpf

[spacedace]

Okay but the Justice League finds out their new baby hero teammate Phantom is the Ghost King by virtue of the Fright Night showing up while they're in the middle of a meeting, looking terrifying and such and scaring the shit out of everyone- even more so when Constantine starts freaking out over the fact that the sworn night of the King of the Infinite Realms is in the Watchtower what the fuck that's apocalyptically bad Pariah Dark is supposed to be locked the fuck up forever - but instead of trying to smite them all or yeet them into the nightmare dimension he just pulls out a space themed packed lunch??? And gives it to Phantom??

And the mildly eldritch giant murder ghost is talking about how "The Queen Mother commanded me to ensure you ate my Lord, she says you missed your morning meal."

And Phantom is just grumbling about over protective sisters and "there's a cafeteria i would have been fine" what the fuck is happening right now?

What do you mean "oops you forgot" Phantom I thought the ghost thing was just a theme!

#dc x dp #dp x dc #justice league #danny phantom #danny fenton #jazz fenton #fright knight #ghost king danny #fanfic writing prompts #danny at lunch later: aw shit she packed from home now i gotta fight it #justice league watching in horror as his left overs try to kill him: what the fuck what the fuck what the fu- #john constantine #Constantine thinks danny as the ghost king is gonna yell at him about all the soul selling #Danny just thinks it's hilarious and has no intention of interfering #he doesn’t have to deal with that paperwork and thise demons are assholes anyway #danny does get a long lecture after fright knight shows up about sharing need to know information #he gets another one after that about not missing meals #JL member: I don’t *care* if you're the Ghost King you're still growing and need to make sure you're eating enough! #Danny desperately trying to keep them from meeting Jazz because it's all over for his days of eating junk food if that happens

[bunnyreaper]

john price is nothing without his girl.

(18+/mdni, f!reader, daddy kink (but no ageplay), dom/sub, legal age gap)

john never realised just what being a daddy could mean until he met you. he'd hesitated so much about starting a relationship with someone so much younger, but your sparkling doe eyes, darling personality, and schoolgirl-like crush on him were too much to resist.

you were mature beyond your years, having adapted to a world that wasn't so kind, and you could easily hold your own in any part of life--but you didn't really want to, and you were sick of pretending. john didn't want you to, john could provide the solace you needed--a space for both of you to be your true selves.

he's always been a caring, kind, and protective lover, but you send all his instincts into overdrive--especially since you never resist them. despite everything you are, you blush when he opens doors for you, carries something heavy for you, always says 'ladies first'. every time he treats you like you're something delicate, you let yourself be cradled in his safe hands, and that feeling of being responsible for you in every way is just so fucking addictive to him. once he's had a taste of being your guiding light, he just can't let it go.

he's your big, strong protector too, always there to watch over you--an ever present hand on the back of your neck as you walk around town, or his sudden appearance if someone is making you uncomfortable. god fucking forbid anyone tries to come to close to you.

he easily picks you up and cradles you whenever you crave his cuddles, or he's carrying you to the bedroom to have his way with you. you've never felt as safe as you do in his arms, and he encourages your addiction to his touch--whether it's just his soothing strokes through your hair or the feeling of his cock making its home inside you.

everything he does is in service of you, just as everything you do honours him. he treasures the gift of your submission, and knows the way he earns such a privilege is by fulfilling your every need, as you always do the same for him. you compliment each other so naturally, he leads, you follow. he commands and you obey, because you know in your soul he only ever has your best interests at heart.

but at his core, he would do anything for you. this man is not afraid to fall to his knees to help you put on your shoes, would shield you from the rain if it meant keeping you dry, get his knuckles bloody and bruised if it meant keeping yours so delicate and clean.

it's strange how he can feel such an affinity to a name that isn't really his, and yet when daddy leaves your lips, it calls out to him like anything else. when he calls you his, you've never felt more like you belong.

#captain john price x reader #captain price x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #captain john price #captain price #call of duty fanfiction #call of duty x reader #call of duty fanfic #incoherent ramblings about my ideal relationship with this man #ive officially lost the fucking plot with this one folks #screaming crying throwing UP #cw daddy kink

[alien-bluez]

Lark can't handle nice things, and as he says "always fucks it up."

Drew a scene from this fic here, please please go read it right now!

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies fanart #dndads fanart #fanfic #dndads fanfic #lark oak #nick close #nicky foster #i'm not tagging all his names #lark oak garcia #dndads s1 #nark #baby's first ever comic yippee #nark got me so fucked that i learned how to make a comic for them #this fic has me real fucked up i love it so much #and everything by this author is rlly good #if u like nark angst or lark angst or both ur gonna have a good time then #kind of obsessed with this they've been rotting my brain so hard i drew lark so much here i have him down pat

[preyofolympus]

Bernard: I always saw him as like a kind of funny little man.

Tim, trying to contain himself but Bernard loving the Red Hood is pushing his limits: he’s a fucking criminal Bernard.

#Bernard calls Red Hood some fucking cringe online name one (1) time and Tim just reveals all their secret identities to stop him #all #the torture in the world couldn’t make Tim give up their identities #but Bernard calling dick a “pathetic little meow meow does the trick in less than a second #now I know why everyone is funnier in the tags I hope y’all see this shit #batfam #batfamily #red robin #tim drake #dc robin #tim drake wayne #batkids #batman #batman urban legends #bernard dowd #dc fanfic #jason todd #red hood #tim x bernard #timber #timothy drake #batbros #dick grayson #nightwing #discowing #red hood jason todd #bernard x tim #source- some Ryan and Shane screenshot thing but it’s those ghost cunts

[wistfullywaiting2]

The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.

The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.

He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.

Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.

If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars

If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.

In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.

In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.

And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.

Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.

Also little footnote here that I think the scenes with Lucy and Akutagawa in specific are probably references to the moon over the mountain but I digress

#bsd #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #nakajima atsushi #idk #on the floor wallowing in pain as we speak #bungou stray dogs #tagging is hard and i’m lazy #I love the Atsushi trauma dumping for no reason headcanon too #but I have to complain about it not being canon accurate #just don’t put it in fanfiction ok that’s all I ask #Guys let atsushi be painstakingly vague about his past in peace stop ruining it #atsushi #Atsushi hated pain #but pain had been an intimate- dies #anybody have fanfic recs with this concept or do I have to write them myself #idk guys you’ll just never catch me writing anything where the other characters truly understand Atsushi #sorry #Kunikida will never be written to know what the fuck is wrong with him for as long as I live #He just gives up #at some point

[gallusrostromegalus]

You can lay blame for this second ask at @hoifne 's feet, I saw their comment on the post and had to:

How did folks react to the moon landing?

"You're ready? No Big Regrets?" Renji asks. He always asks. He'd done hundreds of Konso rituals now that he was doing his mandatory tour of duty in the living world, but he never wants them to feel 'routine', so he talks to the ghosts. Hypes them up a bit for the afterlife, tries to keep his heart in it.

Especially when it's a kid.

"Well, it's not really a big deal..." The ghost Suichi considers. He was maybe ten or eleven years old. Thick prescription glasses, face round with puppy fat, very loved. Love won't stop a freak electrical accident though. Young Suichi is handling his sudden departure really well, all things considered, so maybe love does stop despair. "-but its a bit of a shame that if there's no TV in the afterlife, I won't be able to watch the moon landing."

"Yeah, we're a bit behind the times, but I'm sure one of the mad geniuses in the 12th will invent one sooner than late-" Renji grins ruffling the boy's hair before the rest of the sentence registers. "-The What Landing?"

"The Moon Landing!" Suichi lights up with excitement. "They just launched the rocket yesterday! But in just three days, man will walk on the moon!"

"...The Moon?" Renji blinks, bewildered.

"Yeah!"

Renji points up over his shoulder into the sky, gripping the boy's shoulder, eyes wide. "THE MOON IN THE FUCKING SKY?"

---

The lights of the Fifth division offices reflect blankly off of Captain Aizen's glasses as he attempts to process the news. He is entirely still, save for his eyebrows which are writhing like overcaffienated caterpillars, unable to settle on an emotion to convey.

"The Moon?" Lieutenant Ichimaru squints at Renji even harder than usual, pointing up out the window behind him. "The Moon in the fucking sky?"

"Yeah!" Renji spread his hands. "I didn't believe it either but the humans have managed to work out some neat trick with the way the world turns to like, throw the spaceship like a slingshot..?" he tried to explain.

"So, so there's three guys in a boat-" Captain Aizen tried again, reaching up under his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose.

"It's really more like a sealed metal tube, but they call it a Space Ship because it does sorta sail through space..." Renji tried to explain, holding up the newspaper from the living world he'd brought back to substantiate his claims and also provide helpful images to explain what was happening.

"So there's three guys in a metal tube and they... threw it into the sky so hard that instead of falling it started flying instead?" Aizen tried. "How do they even throw something that hard without Kido?"

"So the men are up in this little itty bitty bit at the top that looks like a cap on a vaccine needle-" Renji pointed at the image of the Apollo 11 rocket. "-All the rest of this is the uh. enormous amount of extremely coordinated high explosives they used to launch it. The. The whole thing is like... It's a little over three hundred fifty shaku and only 12 shaku of that is where the humans are. The rest is um. Air they smooshed so hard it became liquid and then they set that on fire and look at the picture you can see the kaboom!" Renji tried to explain, pushing the paper across Aizen's desk for his captain to read.

Aizen certainly pointed his face at the image and accompanying article, but 'read' may have been a bit beyond him at the moment.

"Oh, is that all it took?" Ichimaru hummed with interest. "Well fuck, why haven't we done that?"

"Oh yes, how very silly that the humans have beaten us at the trifling matter of FLINGING OURSELVES INTO SPACE, WHAT THE *HELL* ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ICHIMARU??" Aizen objected.

"Well like. Idea's sound. Moon goes around the earth, so a smaller thing should too. And we can absolutely make a sealed metal container and kaboom bigger than that." Gin shrugged, as though this were plainly obvious. "Betchya the clown that runs the twelfth has the stuff laying around- we got a meeting with him later today anyway, why not ask?"

"Oh sure, that's a great Idea!" Aizen beamed. "Why hello Kurotsuchi-taicho, curious news from the human world- do you think you could spare a few parts and several tons of explosives to send some guys for a stroll on the moon?"

There was a moment of silence where Renji and Gin shared an awkward glance (or at least, Renji gave meaningful look to the narrow slits where his lieutenant-commander's eyes theoretically were).

"...he'd agree to that in a heartbeat, if he hasn't started work on his own Spaceboat already." Aizen groaned.

---

"No." Grunted Mayuri.

"No? Why not?" Aizen asked, head cocked to the side like a confused spaniel.

"Look, what the old man doesn't know about budget expenditures won't hurt him!" Gin smiled encouragingly. "Think of all the scientific data you'd get to research!"

"What the old man finds out about budget expenditures after the fact can and will hurt me." Mayuri growled. "It's not cookie money, kitting an expedition to the living world to engineer a spaceship with atomic matter instead of Reishi- No, much more efficient to let the humans do it for us and poach the date from them."

"...Why would we need to go to the Living world?" Aizen blinked, confused. "I can see the moon from the window right here?" Aizen pointed out the window of Kurotsuchi's office.

"What? That moon? You can't go to that moon!" The clownish chemical engineer cackled."

Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him blankly.

"Is. Is the moon here different than the one in the living world?" Aizen asked, bewildered.

"Different? It doesn't exist!" Mayuri laughed, waving his hand at them.

Aizen and Ichimaru stared at him, then leaned back in their seats, looking out the window at the moon, which still looked as physical and present as it ever did.

"...Oh don't tell me you didn't know." Mayuri frowned, pouting. "No, spirit world doesn't have a moon. The thing up in the sky is a Tulpa- there's a "moon" because everyone who comes to spirit world thinks there should be one, and there's so much ambient spiritual energy even weak souls can exert some force on the nature of reality and when millions of them are all certain there should be a moon, a moon manifests. Or at least, a thing that looks like a moon. Doesn't act like one, changes size and skips around it's phases all the time and if it really were a round object in space, that's NOT what a crescent moon would look like."

Aizen and Ichimaru looked back out the window at the "Moon", whose crescent arced a full three quarters of the alleged satellite's circumference.

"Seriously? this is some really basic stuff." Mayuri glared at them in disappointment. "You never noticed that the moon is always visible out any random window at night, no matter what time it is? It doesn't even go east-to-west more than half the time!"

"But. But we have a lunar calendar..?" Aizen muttered, an edge of genuine distress in his voice.

"Oh yeah, the moon *used* to be regular as clockwork- everyone literally set their watches to it." Mayuri shrugged. "Then sometime about eh, two and a half, three thousand years ago? Right around the same time the first captain-class spirits started appearing, the moon started doing this 'Full Moon Thrice A Month If it Feels Like It' and 'Visible At Improbable Angles' nonsense."

Aizen's eyes were wide and Gin's very nearly open with alarm.

"That's uh- that's terrifying?" Aizen sputtered, now outright frightened.

"Yeah, anybody know what coulda caused that?" Gin muttered.

"The going theory is that the precipitation of a new class of spiritually hyperpotent souls like us has caused disproportionate tugs on the desired appearence of the the "Moon", but that's only a theory- my predecessor's predecessor once attempted to send a camera to the 'Moon' for a closer look, but it never actually *got* any closer." Mayuri explained, casually inspecting his fingernails- he seemed to be growing out the middle one for some godforsaken reason. "-Your theoretical starboat would likely far worse."

"...Okay but that's worse. You understand how that's worse, right?" Aizen demanded and Mayuri waved him off.

"No, no hit makes sense-" Gin nodded, and Aizen glared at his lieutenant. "Think about it! There's what, three and a half billion human on earth? Millions die every day, but only a couple hundred ever turn up every day at the intake queue in the 7th, and nearly everyone is from just the one part of Japan. We're one afterlife of many- ugh, could you imagine if the missionaries were sent here?- anyway, our world is nowhere NEAR as big at the Living World, so the moon-moon is just a geographical feature in the living world, and there's only a couple million people living here. We got disproportionate swing, so we pull on the collective conciousness more. It's fine!"

"That's AWFUL!" Aizen shouted, dismayed.

"I mean I think we all understand God is an Asshole, but what are you gonna do about it?" Mayuri shrugged before tapping on the crate beside his desk. "-Anyway, do you want these Polio Vaccines for the rukongai outreach program our not?"

"I- yes. Please." Aizen muttered.

"Good man, sign here." Mayuri tapped the sheet on his desk. As Aizen tried to read over the provisions release paperwork, the small "Electronic Mailer" on Mayuri's desk pinged. "Oh, the word got out- Kyoraku-taicho wants to hold another moon-viewing party for the occasion. Do me a favor and attend so you can explain to him why we can't go to our 'moon' for me? I don't want to go, and I really don't want to explain it to him through a hangover either."

"If you don't wanna go Boss I'll stand in for you. Promises to be a real riot." Gin grinned.

"Yes, you have your young friend, don't you? Miss Matsumoto?" Aizen smiled fondly at his second-in-command.

"Oh, she probably already got her invite- she an' Miss Nan- er, lieutenant Ise are real pals from the academy." Gin laughed. "Nah, I was gonna drag old blind bones along."

"...Captain Tousen?" Aizen asked, befuddled. "Whatever for?"

"Stars ain't exactly braille, y'know?" Gin explained, wiggling his fingers. "He knows even less than we do an' I wanna watch Rangiku and Kyoraku try'n 'splain the whole thing to him." Gin grinned.

"Sounds lovely! Take your shit and get out of my office." Mayuri threatened.

---

Renji exhaled, still bewildered, laying on his back on the grassy hill just outside the 2nd division training grounds, staring up at the moon as it rose opposite the sunset behind him. Or, maybe not? There had been some lecture about how the moon in spirit world wasn't a moon back at the academy that he didn't really remember-

"You sound like you're in the throes of a moral conundrum Red." Shuuhei teased, looking up from the strange contraption he was setting up.

"Huh?" Renji blinked. "Oh, no I'm just- Those guys in the Spaceship gotta be somethin' else, going to die thousands of miles from home."

"What? The Astronauts? They'll be fine! -Probably." Shuuhei laughed. "They're definitely insane, getting in that contraption at all, but they still gotta come home with all the rocks and whatever they get from the moon for the lab techs to look at."

"...How the hell are they getting back?" Renji frowned, rolling up onto his elbow to frown at his senpai. "I thought they blew up all the rocket getting off the planet?"

"They got a bitty rocket in the lunar landing craft that will get them between their ship and the lunar surface, and then they will angle the ship a bit and the moon will fling them back to earth the way earth flung them at the moon." Shuuei explained, not looking up from the weird bass-drum looking object he was messing with.

Renji opened his mouth, realized his friend probably understood it way better than he did, closed his mouth, shrugged, and changed topics. "So what is that thing you had me haul up here?"

"It's uhhh... Experimental. Haven't got a name for it yet." Shuuhei muttered, placing a level on top of it and frowning at the bubble before adjusting the legs bolted awkwardly to the side of the drum. "-But with all this excitement about the Lunar Landing, I realized Tousen-Taicho is... I mean he gets left out of a lotta stuff, y'know? But it's not like he can see the stars, or the spirit-moon, and I don't think he really understands orbital mechanics-"

"I sure fuckin' don't." Renji muttered.

"Yeah, because you're the kind of moron who put a ham sandwich in a VCR-" Shuuhei rolled his eyes.

"That was ONE TIME, and Matsumoto Senpai told me it was a Panini Press!" Renji sulked.

"-and then pressed "Fast Forward", but Tousen is actually smart as hell- I'm the one who can't explain it without gestures he can't see." Shuuhei continued. "...but I can use a camera obscura and reiryoku-sensitive film to sort of take an old exposure image of the night sky. I'm hoping that if I treat the exposed film right, that the light and dark parts will turn into different textures for him to read, like a braille sky."

"Oh." Renji muttered. "That's really nice of you actually."

"I mean, we'll see if it works." Shuuhei shugged, examining the level again. "Hand me the allen wrenches- What about your boss?"

"Captain Aizen? Uh- honestly? He seems a little freaked out by all this and I saw him fuckin' slam the newspaper into his wastebasket when he got back from the twelth." Renji winced. "He's weird like that. Sweet as cake most of the time but then there's these weird flashes of anger... and I'm not sure how much longer he's gonna be my boss."

"As in you got ambitions, or you think he's gonna get fired?" Shuuhei asked, staring at the level again.

"As in 'Tetsuzaemon Iba got in another brawl with his mother about him only being fourth seat when she made captain, and Liuetenant Madarame asked me if I'd updated my resume recently." Renji winced.

"Woof. Talk about a lateral promotion." Shuuhei winced. "Still, the pay raise would be nice. You could afford to take your girl Rukia somewhere up to her brother's standards!"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Renji snapped, rolling over and jumping to his feet. "-It's -I'm sorry. It's kinda complicated." Renji sighed.

Shuuhei was silent for a minute as Renji sat back down on the grass, face in his hands. After a minute of fine-tuning the drum to keep it level, he spoke up. "You're more than good enough."

"Huh?" Renji jolted. "Oh, yeah- I'd be doing all the eleventh's paperwork but there's no way it's worse than the fucking rice subsidies accounting board-"

"That's not what I meant." Shuuhei glared.

"...I know." Renji groaned. "It's just. It's complicated, okay?"

"If you say so." Shuuhei shrugged. "Alright, hand me the flat box- thanks. It'll be ready for exposure in a minute, and I want to get it done before those clouds roll in." He gestured at the distant thunderheads threatening to bloom into a summer storm on the edge of the city.

The process was quick- the shielded plate went into the gap under the drum, and the light of the night sky was reflected onto it from a pinhole in the top. Once the metal plates were pulled back, it needed a few minutes to pick up enough light, before Shuuhei pushed the metal shutters back in and locked the plate in darkness until it could be developed.

"It's for taking pictures of the stars, right?" Renji asked as Shuuhei started disassembling the camera. "You could call that plate an Astrograph."

"Hah! Futuristic. I like it!" Shuuhei grinned. "C'mon and help me with this thing before the punishment squad turns up to kick my ass for having a camera within a mile of the second."

#AEIWAM #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #Bleach #Bleach Fanfic #renji abarai #sosuke aizen #gin ichimaru #mayuri kurotsuchi #shuuhei hisagi #the moon landing #And THAT's why the moon is fucked up in spirit world! #long post

[ao3-crack]

(x)

#archive of our own #ao3 stuff #ao3 quotes #archive of our own quotes #fanfic #fanfic quotes #funny #ao3 #ao3 tags #Author Has No Plan And It’s Causing Her Problems #how dare you call me out like this #it’s not like I’ve been staying up an extra hour every night trying to write a single one shot #bc the only time my fucking brain wants to come up with the next part of the plot #is when im already cozy in bed and halfway to being asleep

[candle-scm]

my takeaway from natla is that og atla zuko is hot topic flavored gay and natla zuko is barbie flavored gay

#atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #natla zuko really does give YOU RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL #thinking of natla as a weird fanfic that occasionally has some oddly clever ideas #but drops the ball pretty often #makes it a lot of fun #spoilers below #we fucking died when it was revealed that jet was going to actually blow up the mechanist and bumi #like its so bizarre and weird and hilarious #even typing it out i cant believe thats a real thing #we're only on episode 3 and i'm excited to see the other wacky shenanigans #natla #natla spoilers