#i have to swallow my shame and post in the tags. i'm sorry

[mangomonk]

to feel warm in cold love

↳ summary: in his attempt to make tav touch-starved for him, astarion realizes he's lost his own game. (alternatively, astarion is dreadfully cold and touch-starved, and tav is dreadfully warm and respects boundaries.) ↳ content: mentions of blood and battle, named tav, astarion is a little mean and very emotionally repressed, act 1 and 2 plot mentioned ↳ a/n: inspired by astarion's "don't touch me" dialogue and that one post that basically calls him a loser lol. title is from "cold love" by rainbow kitten surprise! also i'm a little confused by tagging convention — is tav alright to tag if they're an OC and not 'reader?' cross posted on ao3

The first time he fed on her, she sat perfectly still, her legs criss-crossed and posture straight as she swept her hair to the side. The perfect image of a monk. He would’ve teased her for it, had he not been distracted by the gleaming skin of her neck and the ache of hunger with his fangs. He couldn’t believe his luck.

How perfectly foolish to trust a vampire, he thought dimly to himself as he crouched over her, eager to take the opportunity — no matter how ridiculous it was — before she changed her mind. His fingers slipped into her hair to cradle the back of her neck as he tilted her head back carefully for better access. He moved with perfect precision — though he had never fed on a person before, he had imagined it in the darker moments of his hunger, even more so after he had met Xuan as he had begun scheming of ways to earn her favor. It wouldn’t be far-fetched to say that he had been dreaming of it.

The moment his fangs pierced her skin, all previous notions of what he had dreamt of before melted away and all he knew was the rich taste of her blood. He didn’t notice her shuddering in his hands or her slowly going limp against him as he swallowed gulp after gulp. He nearly forgot all restraint too, until she pushed at his shoulder hard enough for him to draw back. 

He felt warmth spreading through him, his hunger satiated, and then, shame roiling deep in his gut. A trickle of her blood dribbled from the corner of his lips. She was pale-faced, a dazed expression on her face as she stared up with him. Astarion, swept by this newfound satiation and familiar shame of his hunger, was at a loss for words. “This is a gift, and—” he began, just as she seemed to snap out of her daze.

“Sorry,” the monk said, “I didn’t mean to touch you but you didn’t seem to hear me.”

Astarion stopped short to stare at her in disbelief, reeling a little. Had her blood been drugged with hallucinogens? Why was she apologizing? He stared at her for a beat longer, but she seemed to be entirely sincere.

“Oh,” he said ungracefully as he recovered, straightening and letting his expression fall into one of familiar charm. “Oh, darling, you can touch me however you want if it means I have a little snack as sweet as you.”

She frowned at him, but Astarion was too distracted by the bead of blood forming on her skin where his fangs had been to notice.

— — — — —

The next time he fed on her, Astarion was less controlled by his hunger, though the same thrill of anticipation ran through him as he crouched next to her. She insisted again on sitting, and though the position was awkward for the both of them, he wasn’t going to bite the hand that was feeding him. Not metaphorically, anyways. And not the hand, at least.

This time, he noticed her hands clasped tightly in her lap as if she was anticipating the sting of his fangs. He paused, hovering over the nape of her neck. “My sweet thing,” he murmured, amused. He noted the goosebumps that formed along the pretty curve of her neck where his breath ghosted across his skin. He noted the way she shivered in his hands. He noted that she smelled wondrously sweet beneath the smell of soap. “You can hold on to me if you’d like to.”

“Do you want me to?” She asked.

Astarion blinked, grateful that she couldn’t see his surprised expression from her angle. “Whatever you want,” he said after a beat. When she kept her hands clasped carefully in her lap, Astarion shrugged to himself and dove in.

— — — — —

The third time, he perhaps had gone too far because when he withdrew, she swayed for a moment and slumped forward, her forehead falling against his collarbone. For a moment, panic flared within him as he caught her, before she mumbled something into his shoulder. “Sorry, got dizzy for a moment there.” Another apology — he thought he’d get used to them by now, but each one left him equally bewildered and baffled. “I didn’t mean to touch you.”

In his arms, he felt her try to withdraw weakly. Instead though, he held her firmly, supporting her boneless weight against him. “Let’s stay like this for a moment,” he hummed, tucking his chin carefully over the crown of her head and letting his fingers splay against her back. She was always so unfamiliarly warm. It felt like he was being scorched alive. “Would hate for my favorite traveling companion to crack her skull open. Our other companions would immediately have a stake through my heart, I suspect.”

To his pleasure, she didn’t protest, instead going even more limp against him. “Thank you,” she said into his shirt.

Astarion felt a warmth, similar to the one that she was radiating, flare deep in his stomach. It must have been because he had just fed. “My pleasure,” he said simply, meaning it.

— — — — —

Strangely enough, Xuan seemed to have no qualms with touching their other companions, Astarion began to notice. She linked arms with Shadowheart occasionally when they were walking — Astarion noted that Shadowheart never complained. She leaned on Karlach whenever they were standing close, despite the tiefling’s obvious warmth. Even Gale, the wizard who hadn’t touched a mortal being in years, she greeted with a fond hug.

Astarion though, she never touched.

It wouldn’t have bothered him if she didn’t make such a show of giving him a wide berth or nearly jumping out of her skin whenever he brushed by within an arm's reach.

It definitely wasn’t because he watched Wyll’s arm loop over her shoulder affectionately one night as they sat around the campfire. In the name of keeping warm from the cold, Wyll had teased. Cold? What did Wyll know about being cold? Astarion was always so miserably cold, but in that moment he felt something like angry heat flare up within him as he watched her lean against The Blade.

That was definitely not why it bothered him. Though Wyll flirted with Xuan in fleeting, light-hearted comments, it was Astarion who was putting honey in every word he shared with her. And he had made his advances even more than clear, quite literally spelling out his propositions for her. He knew she was interested in him with the way she flushed or the way she looked at him when she thought he wasn’t looking at her. So why was it that they never touched, not unless he had his fangs buried in her neck?

Soon, Astarion came up with a new scheme. And he thought himself clever for his plan too as he followed the sure-footed monk closely across the goblin camp, docking and releasing arrows efficiently the moment he spotted a goblin. He was feeling impatient. At the end of each battle, it seemed ritual for her to give the nearest companion a crushing sort of hug of relief and triumphant. So the faster this battle was over, the faster he’d—

“You’re fired up today,” she remarked to him as she clubbed another goblin with her staff. She didn’t even have to shout at him across the sounds of the battle because he had stayed within an arm's reach of her the entire fight.

Astarion preened a little, flashing her a devilish smile. He opened his mouth to smarm when Karlach bellowed across the courtyard. “I think that’s the last of them.” He watched Xuan’s face break into a triumphant grin as he took a step closer to her. The others were mostly across the courtyard, though Lae’zel was a few yards away.

“We did it!” She beamed, whirling around. Astarion now was only two steps away from her, his arms already preemptively outstretched when she stepped past him, throwing her arms around… the Githyanki warrior.

Astarion blinked once. Then twice. Then he turned, incredulous, to see Lae’zel pat the monk on her back awkwardly.

“The customs of this plane never fail to baffle me,” the Githyanki warrior said stiffly.

“You did brilliant today!” Xuan said brightly, practically glowing.

Astarion stared at the two, still slack-jawed. “And what about me?” He spluttered now, entirely undignified, but he couldn’t help it. Not when she was being so obviously stingy in her affections!

Xuan drew back from Lae’zel. Astarion couldn’t help the sick anticipation growing in his stomach as she took a step towards him. His hands twitched at his side, but he forced himself not to raise them. 

“You were brilliant too,” she beamed. “Your aim for the one in the tower was so precise—”

Astarion’s anticipation fell flat as she stopped several feet away from him, still prattling on about his fighting.

“Spare me the praise,” he snapped irritably, turning on heel swiftly to stalk back to camp.

— — — — —

He spent the rest of the evening brooding in his tent as the others celebrated their success with a hearty stew that Gale cooked and some cheap wine they had looted from a cellar in the Blighted Village. 

Was it possible that she wasn’t interested in him? He had made his advances perfectly clear, and though they had often rolled off of her like water, or she had just smiled embarrassedly down at her feet, she had never rejected him. 200 years of perfecting the art of seduction, and he couldn’t even get within a foot of a naive monk? The thought hurt his pride. And then another thought, one much worse, that spurred him to his feet and out his tent to seek out the target of his thoughts.

Was she disgusted with him? So much so that she couldn’t bear even touching him?

“Darling, are you decent?” He asked from outside the tent, letting his normal drawl tinge his voice as he added, “Though I wouldn’t mind if you weren’t decent.”

“Astarion?” She asked from inside. “Come in.”

He lifted the flap of her tent and stepped in. She was standing in the center of her tent, a crude, wooden comb in her hand — he recognized it a little bitterly as the one that Halsin had whittled for her. She must have just come from the nearby stream, because her hair was still damp and hanging in tangled tendrils, a sharp contrast to the dreadful braid she normally kept it in.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, blinking up at him owlishly. Astarion ignored the bubble of irritation in his gut. He couldn’t seek her out unless he was hungry? Though to be fair, which Astarion was not, the only times he did were when he was hungry.

“No, no,” he lied dismissively, waving his hand airily. Now to disprove his theory. “Darling, I can take care of that for you,” he offered, closing the distance between them and reaching for the comb.

To his dismay, she shied away from him swiftly with a nervous laugh, putting that cursed two feet of space between them again and nearly stumbling over her own bedroll in the process. “No, I got it, but thank you—”

“I don’t bite, you know,” Astarion blurted, half-irritatedly, half-miserably. She shot him a raised brow and quickly, he waved his hand dismissively. “Okay, fair point, I do bite, but you already know what it’s like, so there’s really no reason for you to jump out of your skin the moment I’m in an arm’s distance from you.”

“Well,” she said, not quite able to look him in the eye as she inched back imperceptibly. Astarion huffed under his breath at the sight. “I didn’t think you liked being touched.”

Astarion stared at her for a moment, expression slack. “Darling, what in your sweet mind has you thinking that?” He dropped his voice in a well-rehearsed manner. “Haven’t I been clear with you in my propositions that I’d like to be more than touched by you?”

A pained expression flitted across her face, but it disappeared tactfully. He only caught it because he was studying her carefully, quick to pick up any changes. She bit the inside of her cheek. “You told everyone not to touch you.”

Oh. Oh. He did have a vague memory of sneering, “Don’t touch me,” at the start of their travels. But he hadn’t expected anyone to respect it, let alone remember it. He felt like she had just clubbed him over the head and sent him reeling.

“If it’s you, it’s fine,” Astarion said quickly. He found himself surprised to know that he meant it.

“Oh,” she blurted, mouth opening and then closing. She looked equally dumbfounded.

Perfect. This was the perfect moment he had been building towards, when her guard was down just enough for him to sink his teeth in. Metaphorically, of course.

Astarion took a step closer to her. And then another. She looked like she was ready to flee, but out of pure stubbornness, stood very still. They were so close now that he could feel her body heat rolling off her in waves. He held back a shiver.

Astarion skillfully let his posture slouch in an attempt to not tower over her, tilting his head to catch her gaze again. He had a plan. Proposition her, offer her his services so she could enjoy his range of touch. He’d say it coquettishly, perhaps brush her hair to the side. Maybe drag the tip of his finger down the angle of her jaw. Something that would make her cave, that would make her so starved for his touch that she would devote herself to him. That was the plan, he reminded himself, and this was the perfect moment—

 “Well, maybe if you said please once in a while,” she huffed mulishly, clearly just to regain face, though her gaze darted away from him in clear embarrassment as a dark flush began to bloom rapidly across her cheeks.

Astarion was clubbed over the head with the sudden, newfound realization that she looked wonderful when she was flustered. His fingers twitched — he wanted to cup her cheeks and confirm that her skin was as warm as it looked. He stared at her, entirely distracted by this line of thought, any previous thought melting away as he watched the blush spread to the tip of her ears. He was so entirely distracted by this new image of the monk, that without much thought or resistance—

“Please,” Astarion murmured in a soft sigh, the yearning in his voice an unfamiliar ache even to his own ears.

She swallowed thickly, her throat bobbing. Astarion’s vision would have normally pigeon-holed to her neck at the motion, but he couldn’t quite tear his gaze away from her hand as it raised slowly, palm up between them. And then she stopped, her hand hovering between them, her gaze intent on his, brows raised in almost a challenge. Astarion found himself moving by himself, his hand moving to rest uncertainly over hers.

Her hand was wondrously warm. 

“Is this okay?” She asked softly, as if not to spook a wild animal.

Astarion swallowed. How could he tell her that this was more than okay? That it felt like she was lighting him on fire with just a mere touch? That he would happily burn? That he was warmer than he had been in the past 200 years? “Yes,” he managed instead, voice tight. “This is nice.”

Encouraged, she covered his hand with her other one, the callouses on her fingers brushing against his skin. Gods. She was devastatingly warm. 

— — — — —

When Ketheric Thorm finally fell to Dame Aylin’s blade, Astarion breathed out a long sigh of relief, undocking his arrow as he surveyed the mess and rubble. From his higher vantage point, he did a quick headcount. Shadowheart and Aylin seemed to be in a private conversation, the latter handing the cleric Selune’s Spear of Night. Gale was putting his spellbook away, looking haggard, but otherwise in one piece.

Astarion frowned, scanning the tower again swiftly. He always had a mental tab on where the monk was in battle given that most of his arrows went into picking off enemies that he deemed too close to her — most of them, if he was being entirely honest. He could’ve sworn she had been by Ketheric Thorm when he fell, but he still couldn’t spot her. Swallowing back his growing panic, he turned to hurry down from the little cliff he had used as a vantage point.

“Astarion.” His alarm melted away instantly at the sight of his monk straightening from where she had hauled herself up. The thought that she had sought him out after the battle sent a pleased thrill through him. “I never understand how you get to these places,” she huffed, brushing her bloodied hands against her tattered robes. He really wished she wore armor.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, reaching out to cradle her wrists and inspect her fists. He really wished she used her staff more. His stubborn monk. “As much as I love blood, this is quite a lot.”

“Not mine,” she said with a tired, but triumphant grin. Astarion thought he couldn’t tire of seeing her post-battle, breathless and beaming, even if she was covered in blood and grime. They stood staring and grinning at each other perhaps foolishly for a moment longer. “I can’t believe we did it,” she said finally, eyes still bright.

“I can,” he huffed as he rubbed his thumbs over her wrists, marveling at the warmth of her hands. “With a monk as stubborn as you are, I wouldn’t be surprised if you found a way to punch mindflayers back to their original form until your hands are just nubs. You really ought to stay out of the front lines,” he chided half-heartedly.

“But I have these hands watching after me,” she said, twisting her hands in his so that she could grasp his hands. Astarion stilled instantly, fighting the urge to close his eyes to immerse himself in the warmth of her hands. “Thank you for picking off the Necrolites.” Before he could respond with a shrug or a huff, she brought his hand towards her.

Astarion’s brain, for lack of better words, short-circuited as he watched and felt her lips press gently against his palm. Gods, the post battle adrenaline made her bold.

Inwardly, Astarion hoped for more battles to come in their near future. 

“Oh,” he blurted inelegantly, dead heart jumping back to life in his chest. “Do that again.” A pause. “Please.”

He could feel her lips curve into a smile against his palm. She pressed a firmer kiss against it again before brushing a ghost of a kiss against his fingertips and then one more against his wrist, as if she was feeling for a heartbeat. Astarion sighed, curling his fingers around her jaw.

“Oh,” she hummed, her eyes tracking over his face carefully. He felt entirely wrong-footed, as if he was losing a battle he didn’t know he was in. “You’re blushing.”

He jolted, scowling. “I don’t blush,” he retorted, before correcting himself. “I can’t blush.” In a poor attempt to distract her, he glared down at her a little impatiently. A little shamelessly. “Anyways, aren’t you here for your victory hug?”

Xuan arched her brow as she stepped closer. Astarion fought the urges to flee and close the gap between them and instead stood very still as she stepped even closer until there was only a hair's width between them. And then she paused, as she always did, a question in her stillness. Is this okay? 

To answer, Astarion closed the gap between them, looping his arm around her to place his hand against the small of her back. In all honesty, he was still getting used to it, his actions clumsy and stiff at times. But she never pushed him, instead always letting him take the next step in closing their distance. Once he did, she shifted a little in his arms to wriggle her arms around his waist. 

“You’re getting blood on me,” he huffed softly, though he made no move to shift away from her. Instead, he dropped his head to rest his forehead in the junction of her neck. He let his eyes flutter close as he marveled at how warm she was.

“I thought you liked that,” she said. He could almost hear the coy smile in her voice. 

Astarion sighed in defeat, smiling against her skin. “Only if it’s you.”

— — — — —

my masterlist

a/n: if u liked this, i would love to read ur thoughts tee hee it's always honestly a giant encouragement to write more when i read everyone's comments + i can't tell if i'm writing him ooc!

#astarion x tav #astarion x oc #astarion x original female character #bg3 astarion #bg3 fanfiction #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #named tav #baldur's gate 3 #my tav

[sugar-omi]

im....I'm never doing feet shit again</3 I'm SORRY

this feels like such a parody post but also imma live my truth bc ive been holdin onto this one... cove has a foot fetish. goodBYE🏃🏃🏃💨

eta: okay but... if dilf!cove wanted a footjob I'd give him the most mindblowing foot job of his life.... fuck that changes everything

DAY NINE — FEET & DEGRADATION

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : drabble, NSFW, step 3 charity event, gn reader, foot job ofc, cum eating, foot licking...

synopsis : you told cove you'd repay him for buying your ticket, your gift doesn't end with the anklet.

"you're such a pervert." you snicker, grinding your heel into his crotch, making cove groan and you push away his hand wrapping around your ankle.

"don't touch me. i told you i'd take care of you, didn't i?" you remind him, stroking his cock with the arch of your foot.

cove pants, his cheeks flushed a brilliant red even in the dimness of your room.

his hips thrust up against your foot, needing more friction, his eyes closing.

you dig your heel into his crotch, a pained yelp coming from cove's lips. the pain easily melting pleasure, a visible stain growing on his boxers.

"you're disgusting," you laugh, pushing back cove's hair and yanking back his head to show you his trembling lips and teary eyes.

"look at you. you're falling apart so easily."

cove's lips wobble, trying to find his voice. "s-sorry…" he pants.

even if he is sorry, he has no shame or restraint because he grabs your ankle, humping the arch of your foot with his tongue poking out from his lips like a dog.

you let him have his way this time, curling your toes around his tip before pulling away. "pull your dick out. you're going to make a mess."

cove obeys, quickly pushing his bottoms down around his thighs.

you bite your lip, clenching your thighs together. its a shame you don't have time for more.

you poke his dick with your toe, enjoying cove's shaky breath and how flushed his dick is, eagerly dripping pre.

"don't.. tease me..." cove begs softly.

"aw but why not? i'm not the one getting jerked off by my lovers foot." you sandwich his toe between both your feet, laying back on both your hands to support your body.

"ahh-!" cove cries, his hips bucking up into your feet.

you reach behind you for the lube, pouring it over your feet for a good glide.

cove's eyes are focused on how you stroke his dick so easily with your feet, your toes curling around his dick to hold it, the length of your other foot sliding against his shaft.

he pants, lost between watching the way the anklet jingles and bounces from the movement, and the way your feet have their way with his dick, cum and lube pooling around your toes.

cove shakes, his fingers tangling in your long fluffy rug.

"good boy. just watch me fuck your dirty dick with my feet.."

cove pants, fucking up into your feet, the heel of your foot abusing his leaky tip.

"i'm.. close..." cove gasps out, groaning when you squeeze his dick between your feet, stroking him quickly.

"do it. cum on my feet!"

he finishes quicker than you thought, spurts of cum coating the bottom of your foot and leaving a sticky mess between your toes.

you stroke him through his orgasm before finally giving his poor, twitching dick a break after he's made a mess of your feet.

his cum runs down your feet, his cum pooling between your toes.

"clean up your mess." you push your feet towards cove's face.

wordlessly he wraps a hand around your accessorized ankle, keep eye contact as he licks up his mess, making a show of getting the cum under your toes.

you huff when he swallows, presenting his empty mouth.

maybe you can convince him to give you head in the bathroom or the parking lot after dinner...

#sugar-omi kinktober #sugar omi kinktober #kinktober #olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #smut #cove holden smut #cove our life #cove x reader #cove x mc #our life cove #cove holden x mc smut #cove holden x mc #cove holden x reader smut

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A bunch of shorter ones today, but first!

We posted two top-centric hc lists yesterday, and I somehow completely forgot to mention Jack in either of them 🥳 I am so sorry to Jack Nation and to the goodest of boys himself, so at the end of this post there are hcs about him on both of the yesterday’s topics… (I’ll also add them to the respective posts, obviously)

This weird oopsie aside, here are the replies:

feverish-dove asked:

THANK YOUUUUUUUU♥️ i don’t think you realize how happy that made me. i love speedpaints but when an artist takes the time to break down what they did so i dont have to try (and usually fail) to do so myself it just goes brrrrrrr<3 im soooooo happy rn. you and katsu are awesome

You are so very welcome!! ♥️

I am very happy that the post was useful and any of my explanations were cohesive enough to understand something. And I really love talking about my art process, so thank you for your question!

Anonymous asked:

I just wanna say i'm in love with genderswap twst headcanons and arts... Thank you for sharing a full course meal-

You’re very welcome, Anon! I am super happy that you’re enjoying these. Like I’ve already said, drawing and writing these are a treat and a national holiday for me lol

Anonymous asked:

I’ll break Idia, you say? Well, I did always want to wreck him… 😏

Anonymous asked:

You can't tell me what to do 😠

I'm swallowing your art whole as you speak

Anons are misbehaving… Anons are getting wild 😳 breaking Idia left and right and not chewing stuff properly!

I love the chaos.

Anonymous asked:

I also have an Idia plush and he’s cheeked up.

His clothes sold out though so he’s naked. I put a Nagito jacket on him to hide his shame i.e. his butt.

Damn Anon this is even better though. Imagine Idia with a Nagito jacket barely covering his naked body. This image is doing something with my brain.

Anonymous asked:

HELP do you have any thoughts on azurido??? its been on my mind since i saw Floyd say Azul (probably) wouldnt mind keeping him as a pet for winter (?) break

Indeed, Anon, here is the tag!

Oh we love that line from Floyd lol This whole scene happens so fast and feeds us with so much stuff that it takes time to process.

Azul absolutely wouldn’t mind keeping him as a pet… it’s upsetting that Riddle probably wouldn’t be much of a help at the Lounge (the main reason for Azul to keep pets lol) but knowing how much Riddle’s existence wounds Azul’s precious ego? He would get super smug with Riddle temporarily being his lap cat. Or a little chihuahua.

Anonymous asked:

I’m not sure why but I would love the idea of Epel talking about how girls are weak and then getting his butt handed to him by a girl in Magical Shift. The competitive, tomboy in me would be grinning like a maniac.

Epel absolutely needs to have a girl kick his ass, and it’s weird that he even needs this to happen to realise that “girly” doesn’t mean “weak”; just look at his meemaw and how scary she can get. I’m sure Epel’s mom isn’t any better lol

Anonymous asked:

I had a sudden thoughts last night

So coway au

But it's just Riddle riding Floyd in a cowboy outfit

Thoughts? 👀👀👀

Anonymous asked:

yeehaw 🤠

I wonder… if you two are the same Anon… maybe not. Maybe we just mentally entered a saloon somehow and now I am a sheriff.

To answer the first Anon, this would be insanely hot, and I feel like if Riddle is drunk out of his mind enough, he could do that. He wouldn’t succeed though, because riding a horse is one thing, but riding Floyd while being completely drunk is totally different lol But it’s the attempt that counts. Floyd is going to be very entertained either way. Or annoyed, you never know with him.

Alright, so JackJack hcs.

strap hcs for fem tops or if they even use them lol.

Jack could’ve been very good at it if someone made her use it, but I feel like she thinks that this is too obscene of a thing to do. It’s not like she’s prudish, but wearing a strap is a bit too far for her. Even though someone would probably look at her and think that it looked very good on her…

Based on that one post about the bottoms getting creamed up inside how would the tops react if their partners are demanding/begging for them to cum inside them?

Jack – he is probably the type to start thinking about pulling out when he starts to feel his knot growing, you know, being responsible and stuff, but if he hears his partner begging or demanding him to cum inside, his brain would shut down completely and he would go even deeper than before and fill his partner to the brim :( He would be very embarrassed of himself afterwards.

#replies

[jiracheer]

authors note: sorry for not posting requests n what not. I needed to write this piece as a form of self comfort </3

reader uses she/her pronouns, wanted to try something new! reader is also an artist :]

tags: a bit angsty, but ends on a good note!

She was beyond frustrated, but not exactly angry. Maybe upset? She wasn't sure. It was so hard figuring out how she felt and perhaps it made her even more confused about the whole thing.

"I just can't do it!" Tossing her laptop to the side onto the plush bed she had claimed that evening, she drew her knees to her chest. Squeezing her legs closely to her frame with heavy sigh through her nostrils, shame and embarrassment washed over her. She was overreacting. She knew she was, but she couldn't help but react the way she was.

Glancing back over at the drawing displayed on the screen of her laptop, a look of disgust settled deeply on her typically soft face. She had spent so long on it and put every ounce of herself into it as well, and yet, it wasn't looking good to her. And she needed this piece out soon.

Before she could even get angry again, a sudden smack of insecurities hit her over the head. Why wasn't she getting it? She had a reference, she had spoken to her friends about the piece, even got their insight! But it just. Wasn't sticking. It wasn't looking good. Then she just had to make a scene and pull away from them.

She was ridiculous.

"Dearest? I'm home!"

An oh-so familiar voice rung through the apartment she shared with her lover, and the stress that hung heavily on her shoulders lifted just slightly. "I'm in the room, Ingo." She croaked out, pushing herself off the bed to greet her husband halfway through. Sinking into his arms as he embraced her she nuzzled her face into his chest as he gave her a good squeeze. Lifting her slightly off the ground to make her giggle before settling her back down, brushing a gloved hand over her cheek in the process.

"How was your day, hm? Oh. You look tired... Were you just resting? I am terribly sorry if I woke you." Ingo looked as if he was caught doing something wrong and stroked your cheek, gazing at you with so much love and affection you almost began to cry on the spot.

"Hm? Oh. No, no. Not at all Ingo, I just... I dunno. It's so stupid." She sighed, rubbing at her face. Tears of frustration were already building in her eyes. "It's dumb."

"I'm sure it isn't, my dove." Bringing her again into his embrace, Ingo swayed her gently side to side. "Talk to me. I'm here to listen to you, and to make sure you're well. What kind of husband would I be if I couldn't make your worries go away?" With a kiss to the top of her head, the Subway Boss rested his cheek on her head. "But if you prefer not to talk about it, we can go find something to do. We can go watch that movie you like so much-"

She began to sniffle, feeling so touched by his words. "I... I." She swallowed the lump in her throat, "I wanna talk about it. I just ask that you don't judge me, because. I think I'm still a bit raw about it all."

Ingo nodded silently as he guided her to their bed, sitting next to her with her hands in his own. "I have no reason to judge you." Nodding to let his wife know that he was ready to listen, she took in a deep breath to begin.

"I guess I got really frustrated over this art piece I was working on. I mean, I've been at it for hours. You knows this... I've been sending you w.i.ps when I could, and as much as I loved your feedback." Her smile dwindled as her insecurities crawled up her back. "I couldn't take it. I hate the piece, and I hate my art in general, Ingo. I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be, and all of my friends are way ahead of me, I mean. They draw so well and I don't at times. Look at Burgh! He's come so far and it comes so naturally to him, why can't that happen to me-?" Choking up on her words, she shook her head. "I'm jealous of him, of all my art friends, which is so selfish of me, but it's the truth."

She continued on her tangent, going on and on about the thoughts that caused her such distress before sighing through her mouth. She looked more tired, a bit worn out, and possibly even burnt out.

"My sunlight... I'm so sorry you feel this way, truly. It pains me to see you in such a way. I wish I could simply grab that feeling from you, and take it away." Ingo began as he stroked her knuckles with his thumbs. "I love you deeply and think you are a fantastic artist! Now, before you interrupt me, I mean it sincerely. Even before we met I thought you were a stunning creator! Your ideas are unique, your strokes and style scream your name. Whenever I get a chance to see your art I am filled with joy, and you inspire me to be the best that I can be with my own job. Which sounds odd since we both work in different professions, but your art is simply that impactful.

"What I'm trying to say is... It will be difficult for you to get over this mental hurdle, but I know you'll be able to get through it because I'll be here to help you every step of the way. As will your friends! Why don't we look at the sketch together, hm? See what we can change and adjust? And if you still don't like it at the end... That's fine! We can move along and start something new. How does that sound?"

Gracing her with one of his rare smiles, Ingo reaches upwards to grab the back of her neck to gently bring her head down to kiss her forehead. That starts the waterworks. All the pent up emotions came out with ease as she sniffled and sobbed in front of her husband. His support meant the world to her and him being so patient with her meant even more, she couldn't help but throw her arms around him to embrace the silver haired man.

"T-Thank you Ingo, I'd love that. Really I would. It would mean a lot." She wept into his shoulder, sinking into him as he rubbed her back.

"Then we'll get to it... After you take a break. I'll go get takeout from your favorite restaurant, and we'll spend the rest of the evening relaxing. Come morning we'll face this head on." The conductor rose to his feet, hands still holding hers with a fond smile.

With one final nod from her, Ingo let go of her hands and pulled out his phone to get the order started as he left the room. She could hear him instruct his Pokemon to go comfort her while he was gone, and a large smile replaced her sad features when she heard Crustle's familiar clunks were met with Excadrill's complaints towards the bug-rock Pokemon for ruining the surprise, meanwhile Chandelure was already singing a song for her as they entered the room.

Leaning back on the bed, she felt more at peace. More at ease. And with one final glance at her laptop screen, to gaze at the drawing, she no longer felt frustrated. But hopeful.

#. 🥣 fics #pokemon #pokemon x reader #subway boss ingo #pokemon ingo x reader #subway boss ingo x reader #submas x reader #ingo x reader

[sansxfuckyou]

Defiance is a love story

Summary: After years of never seeing him, Sapnap decides its time to make peace again, especially with his parents new idea of how to help the kingdom prosper.

Warnings: referenced arranged marriage, emotionally tense, heres the Ao3 port with full tags

Authors Note: hi *posts SNF for the third consecutive day in a row like an absolute mad man* rarepair nation wishes I could channel my passion into multichapters instead of stupid fantasy AU oneshots. @sobredunia this is just habit now, I'm sorry but not really that I've actively subjected you to around 30K words of SNF if my memory of which fics I've tagged you in serves me well. Not sure if I should tag you @lasnevadastardly but we're mutuals and if my memory serves me well you're also an SNF fan, so look at this morsel. Anyways, reblogs are always a treat that keep me writing, hope ya'll enjoy this little fic.

Sapnap heaved a sigh as he pushed open the door to the throne room, he was hesitant to dare take a step in. He forged ahead, he made it about four feet in before his presence was acknowledged.

"Don't you dare take another step," The voice was ice, but it sounded like childhood, "Why are you of all people in my domain?" A snarl was on his voice.

Sapnap opened his mouth to speak but closed it again, gloved hands holding his tail tightly to try and calm down.

"Answer me," It's a threat, Georges hand flies to rest at the pommel of his sword as he steps off of his regal throne, mushrooms of varying sizes sprout up from the wood. With each step he takes a burst of grass grows around his shoes, occasionally flowers bloom. If Sapnap was a chump he would be intimidated at the power, but he's well aware this is just a bluff.

Sapnap takes a deep breath, "Political stuff," George steps closer, gripping the hilt of his sword, "Really important political stuff."

Sapnap can't bring himself to move even an inch as George keeps inching closer, silently. Two eyes, sharp and mismatched in hue, are trained on the halflings form- the prince simply circles the halfling when he's close enough. Annoyance etches itself onto his face and Sapnap still doesn't move even as a sword is swiftly pulled to his abdomen, he swallows audibly with a hint of fear.

George gives a single chuckle, as he pulls back, "Everyone else would've ran, you're different."

"You don't have the guts to slice open your old friend," Sapnap answered with, his tail tightened itself around his waist if only to stop it from whipping around.

George hums, "True- although, we haven't been friends in a long time."

"Real shame how that happened," Sapnap said, waiting for George to step back from him before he could ease up.

"That's life, now, I'm intrigued as too what political duties could bring you crawling back to me," George said, sheathing his sword as he spoke, he had to crane his neck a bit to catch eye contact with Sapnap, "You've gotten taller."

Sapnap gives a nervous chuckle, "Demon genetics, took a while for them to kick in though," He gestures to the horns on his head and unwinds his tail.

George nodded, "I suppose that made sense given your fire powers."

"Definitely," Sapnap added on, "But, onto more important discussions, the political shit," He took a heavy breath, "My parents want to marry me off for the sake of the kingdom."

George felt every muscle in his body tense at once, it felt like his organs were being stamped on at the sudden information drop. His grasp on the handle of his sword tightened, then loosened once more. The first time he's seen his, well, they're just names to each other now, and he learns that Sapnap is being married off.

"Oh," Was all George could muster, his expression was lacking in the way of carrying the emotion behind the utterance, "And they chose me?"

Sapnap shook his head, "They have someone chosen out already, but they said they would give me a week to find someone else," He brought his hands to play with the hem of his shirt, fingerless gloves left blunted claws on display.

"And you came here for my help doing so?" George asked bluntly, Sapnap shook his head again, gaze averted to the ground.

"I came here too ask if you'd be willing to take my hand instead of whoever my parents chose," Sapnap said, his voice was strained as he spoke, it sounded like every word escaping was tying a knot in his throat tighter. He can barely bring himself to look for a reaction of some sort from George, the blank expression hurts a lot. He heaves a sigh, "Figured as much."

He turns to leave but freezes up entirely at what he hears.

"Why me?" Georges voice is cracking a little bit as he stares at Sapnap, his grip on his sword has disappeared entirely. He just sounds confused if anything, "There are a hundred better suitors in the world, you know that Karl would say yes without a doubt Sapnap."

"I know," Sapnap said quietly.

"Then why would you trek all the way out here and risk getting told no instead of taking someone else?" George asked as he raked his eyes over Sapnaps form, searching for any tell this was some sick joke- he found none.

Sapnap took a shaky step closer to George, "Because they don't know me, you do."

"But I don't, not anymore," George said, "It's been so long and you barge in here, asking for my hand, and expect for me to bend over backwards and say yes?"

Sapnap looked at the ground again, saying nothing.

George sighed, "Tell my why your family is marrying you off?"

"We don't have enough fighters for war, our supplies run low and conflict runs high, we need a new breath of life," Sapnap explained, paraphrasing what his mother said, "Or something like that."

George nodded, "Those make sense, now, tell me why you came to me first," It's an order and Sapnap isn't in a mood to be on the receiving end of Georges blade. They haven't sparred in what feels like eternity, but he's heard great things about how his skills have evolved. About how heartless he is on the battlefield, how he doesn't mind a mouthful of blood if it means winning- Sapnap isn't ready to test the tales.

Sapnap opened his mouth to speak, but not much came out, "I miss you George," Another gaping pause, "I don't even remember why we stopped hanging out," He pauses, taking a stuttering breath, "It's been so long but I'd still level mountains for you, I'd still tear open angels and demons alike if you asked me too."

George freezes again, "Really?" He sounds desperate and he wants to punch himself for letting that sense of desire slip out. He misses this. He misses Sapnap.

Sapnap nodded, "Really, it's stupid I know, given how little time we've spent together over the years- fuck man, you're literally the ruler of your domain now! I missed so much of your life," He gives a weak chuckle, "But you're still at the top of my marriage candidate list."

George swallows thickly before speaking again, "If your parents hadn't forced this on you, would you still pick me?"

"Of course," Sapnap answers faster than he can calculate the words coming out of his mouth, "I'll always choose you," There's a carnality to his tone.

George felt a tangle of emotions blossoming in his chest, thorny and making him ache. He takes a deep breath, "I always wanted to choose you Sap, never got the chance," A light laugh is on his voice.

"Really?" Sapnap asked quietly, George nodded.

"How come you think I'm ruling alone? I was waiting for the moment I could have you at my side again, like when we were young," There's a weak laugh on his voice as he draws his hands up to rub along his upper arms nervously.

"I thought you were joking when you said you'd design me a throne," Sapnap said, his tail tightened around his waist painfully so.

George shook his head, "The offers still open, I've always wanted to choose you," He brings himself closer to Sapnap, chests nearly flush against each other, "And now I can."

Sapnap is bright red, from his neck to the tips of his pointy ears, "The feelings mutual then."

George doesn't want to move from his spot, he wants this feeling preserved in glass till the day he dies because it feels so perfect. He inches a little bit closer to Sapnap, he's three inches shorter, at least, he remembers being taller. They were so young when he was taller, and now they have their own lives, their own duties.

Yet here Sapnap is, trying to join them at the hip again, intertwine their fates all over again. It's endearing if anything, the stories didn't lie about the devotion a demon could hold (it said something about grudges but this is proof enough it goes both ways). He knows that they'll get split up all over again with duties that require traveling, but this time he would have a day. He'd have a promise to return to him, and secondly the kingdom, and he's never once met a ruler who strays from the kingdom.

He should know better than this, to just fall back into a chance of losing his friend- they'll be spouses soon enough. He's closed off everyone to avoid getting hurt, and he's opening himself up all over again to the person who jammed him shut in the first place. He gives a bit of a sigh as he presses his head against Sapnaps chest, conflict fills him, this is probably stupid.

But he can't bring himself to turn down the offer.

"Don't your parents hate my domains guts?" George asked as he gently pulled away from Sapnap.

"If they do then they can suck destinies dick, I'll just run away if they try and keep me from you again," Sapnap answered with, his tone serious even with the euphemism, George gives a nod.

"Guess I'm leaving my window open then, better pay me some visits if they decide to trash your choice," George said, hands never once leaving the small of Sapnaps back as he spoke.

Sapnap gives a small chuckle, "I wouldn't dare leave you alone for that long ever again."

#dsmp #dsmp fic #dsmp fanfic #sapnotfound #georgenap #georgenotfound #sapnap #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic #fan fiction #tw arranged marriage

[poeticmoonspirit]

I posted 571 times in 2022

That's 230 more posts than 2021!

89 posts created (16%)

482 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@juldooz-atla

@cobraonthecob

@the-badger-mole

@zutarawasrobbed

I tagged 112 of my posts in 2022

#zutara - 41 posts

#zutara month 2022 - 17 posts

#zuko - 12 posts

#anon asks - 12 posts

#katara - 12 posts

#pro zutara - 8 posts

#zutara week 2022 - 8 posts

#fanfiction - 8 posts

#jet - 8 posts

#jetara - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#when i continue writing my jetara fic im gonna picture jet like this during flashbacks

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Why does everyone say "I wish zutara was canon" lmao have you seen the creators and their writing?? We've got everything we need in fanfics and art—hell, even AMVs! Canon is overrated!

Zutara exists in every way that matters.

96 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#4

LMFAOOOOO why are they so mad?!?!

Imagine going on AO3 and looking for a fic for a ship that you don't even like at 6 in the morning. Talk about dedication! I love my fans <3

Anyways! I'm going to continue minding my business and writing my stories✍🏾

103 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

#3

I've talked about this on twitter, but the way canon shippers defend their ships with their whole chest is hilarious. You're that defensive because zutara is mentioned? Why? You HAVE canon, you have EVERYTHING, yet you still care about what we ship? It's giving insecurity to be honest. It's been fifteen years and you'd think they'd get it through their heads that zutara fans don't give a flying FUCK about what's canon.

Why would we when our fan content is better than anything Bryke would put out? LMAOOO

109 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#2

These Things I've Done

"Katara, you're not a monster. You'll never be a monster."

She shook her head angrily, unable to contain herself any longer. "No, I don't think you understand, Aang. I decided to end that man's life today. I did that. Not Zuko, not Sokka, me. And if you can't handle that then you can just kindly fuck off!"

Aang sputtered, "You don't mean that—"

She let out a bitter chuckle, "Oh, I think I do," She stepped closer to the airbender so that they were face to face, toe to toe, "And I won't repeat it."

He was breathing harder now, his eyes wide, unable to believe what she was saying. She was perfect. Katara was always perfect. So innocent and kind. So why was he seeing her so differently now? Why was she acting this way?

"Katara, I think Zuko has corrupted you somehow. This isn't like you—"

She clenched her jaw, pressing her finger into his chest, "Oh, no no no—we are not doing this again. You and I? We are not the same. We've never been the same! You can't tell me how to live my life just because you don't agree with it! I ended that man's life because he killed my mother! I was owed that! And I'll be damned if I let anyone else tell me otherwise!"

"And if you think for a second that I am gonna let you slander my best friend then you've got another thing coming! Zuko was there for me, he's always been there for me! So why won't you? Why can't you support me on the one thing that would give me closure?"

"Katara, the monks always say to—"

"I don't care what the monks said, Aang! I am not a monk! I am Katara from the Southern Water Tribe. I am not you! Why don't you understand that?"

"Katara–"

"I'm sorry, Aang," She gulped, swallowing the lump in her throat, "But if you're going to shame me for killing my mother's murderer then I don't think we can be friends anymore."

Part II Part III Part IIII Part V Part VI

182 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"zk is mostly katara-centric" first off, so what? And secondly, we love them both equally. Katara gets more hate than any of the other characters. As a brown girl, she can't get too emotional. She can't bloodbend because then she'll be "evil", and she can't be nuanced or too complex.

Outside of zks and the occasional Katara stan, who else is gonna ride and die for her character?? Casual fans who don't even remember what happened in the show?? Antis?? Just shut up already, you sound like a broken record.

186 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[tx-828]

i made some memes for you guys

#i hope everyone enjoys the stupid ways i spend my time #the second one is me at my psych eval while the doctor is asking me increasingly difficult math questions #temuera morrison #seekers 1986 #he is a good actor and he makes great expressions #i'm not trying to make fun of him #cornelis was here #listen i know this isn't actually star wars related but i made it for the tcw fans and i want them to see it #so here come the dreaded tags #star wars #jango fett #boba fett #the book of boba fett #tbobf #the clone wars #tcw #swtcw #star wars: the clone wars #clone trooper #i have to swallow my shame and post in the tags. i'm sorry #if you read this far hi i love you please check out my pixel art in the ''my art'' tag #tem memes #my edits

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Bad Behavior (Kang Yeosang and Choi San) Rated

Pairing: Dilf Sugar Daddy! Kang Yeosang × Younger Sugar Baby! Reader (Female) × Dilf Sugar Daddy! Choi San

Genre: Smut, Slight Angst, Dilf/Sugar Daddy AU.

Summary: After coming back and finding out their beloved princess misbehaved, Yeosang and San must remind her to not cross them again.

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: Aged up/Older ateez (but age differences are still within legal boundaries). Sugar daddy × sugar baby relationship. Poly relationship. Degradation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, edging, bondage, slight sensory play, orgasm denial, oral (male receiving), fingering, spanking, hair pulling, unprotected sex (always use protection), breeding kink, daddy kink. Dom! Yeosang, Dom! San, Sub! Reader

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @galaxteez @multidreams-and-desires @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @deja-vux @brie02 @hanatiny (not sure if you wanted to be tagged in Yeosang content that feat. other members), @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @nanamarkie @minhyukmyluv @leoninadecorazones

✿*:･ﾟﾟ･:*✿✿*:･ﾟﾟ･:*✿✿*:･ﾟﾟ･:*✿✿*:･ﾟﾟ･:*✿

Yeosang sat calmly on the chair leaned against the wall, hands delicately placed on his lap as he listened to the desperate whines echoing through the room. His eyes were hardly blinking as he watched his friend press the wand vibrator further into the small, sensitive button of the young female. Her skin was heated, face flushed, cheeks burning. No matter how much she writhed underneath the man standing over her, she was still unable to free her wrists, which were bound by the ropes they had tied up to the bed posts, and the male who was currently edging her as he pleased made sure she kept her hips and legs with the help of his strong arms.

Taking notice of how her thighs began trembling and wanted to clench together, Yeosang quickly spoke up:

"San move the vibrator away from Y/N, she's about to cum."

Even though she had been blindfolded, she could practically feel the sadistic smile on San's face that sent shivers down her spine everytime she saw it. She threw her head back against the pillow, grunting loudly in frustration when yet another orgasm was merciless was taken away from her, leaving her in utter disillusion.

"Look at how cute she looks Yeosang, bucking her hips up into the air like a needy bitch." San let out a snicker as he released part of his hold on her lower half to watch as her body practically pleaded for his touch once more.

"How pathetic. Maybe you should have thought twice before going out without your daddies' permission to that cheap club and have your body groped by some lowlife douche."

With an annoyed click of his tongue, San gripped the end of her chin and tilted it slightly towards him.

"Well? Was it worth it? Did you enjoy having his dirty hands touching you? I hope it was worth it you little bitch."

Releasing his grip on her chin, Y/N then let out a tiny shriek when she felt the palm of his hand strike against her left cheek, leaving her stunned momentarily.

"I can't even look at you, let alone want to touch you after knowing someone else defiled you." If the silk material wasn't rendering her blind, she'd be able to see the disgusted look on San's face as he pictured the younger man in question touching and feeling up his prized possession.

"San, I understand that you are very upset and disappointed at our little princess, but slapping her like a common whore is not a proper punishment." Yeosang's eyebrows furrowed significantly as he witnessed the appalling incident.

"Oh don't be too soft on her Sangie. If she's going to act like a common whore, then we have to treat her as one. Besides...."

He let out a low chuckle as he traced the outline of her lower lip with his thumb.

"Our princess likes being treated roughly. Why do you think she went out and disobeyed us? She probably wanted to get us mad so we'd treat her like this. Isn't that right babygirl?"

Y/N let out a shuddering gasp when she felt San's hand wrap around her neck, making her swallow harshly and hold her own breath even though he wasn't even cutting off her oxygen. Hearing her other sugar daddy sigh softly, she trembled even more when she discerned his footsteps coming towards the bed, stopping right at one of the corners were one of the ropes were tied to. She released the breath she was holding when San's hand was removed from her neck by Yeosang, who although having a stern look, was still very calm in his demeanor.

"She misbehaved, yes, but I'm sure she's very sorry about her bad behavior. Am I correct sweetheart?" Yeosang shifted his attention to her.

"Y-yes." She responded promptly.

"Yes what?" Yeosang raised an eyebrow.

"Yes daddy. I'm very sorry for behaving so badly." She corrected herself, remembering the way Yeosang liked having her respond.

With a hint of a smile, he lightly caressed her cheek, a sign that he was indeed pleased with her.

"Well then....why don't you show us how sorry you are baby?"

Feeling the tight rope being loosened up, Y/N's hands dropped to her stomach when they were finally freed from their confinement. The blindfold soon was also peeled off and she was graced by the sight of Yeosang's beautiful face peering down at her. Cupping the side of her cheek, Yeosang bent over so he could tenderly place a kiss on her. He was so gentle yet zealous with his kiss, Y/N found herself losing her breath the more he intensified their kiss. She didn't hesitate to part her mouth when his tongue swiped over her upper lip, she allowed him to take advantage as he wanted, wet muscle roaming all around her cavern. Just as they were getting lost in their passion, they were soon reminded they weren't alone when the other male cleared his throat rather exaggerated, his eyes elongating themselves even more as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Reluctant to break away from his dear sugar baby, Yeosang nonetheless took a step back.

"Now honey, Sannie here was very hurt by what he calls your betrayal."

San crossed his arms and let out an angered puff of air.

"Why don't you make it up to him? Show him how sorry you are?" Yeosang suggested, although Y/N knew it was more of a command.

Propping herself into all fours, she crawled over to the other side of the bed where San was. She tried reaching for his zipper, but San retracted himself away before she could even touch him.

"I don't know if I want a dirty slut's mouth sucking my cock. Who knows what else she's put in there?" He sneered at her, which made Y/N look down in shame.

Shaking his head, Yeosang walked over and patted his friend on the shoulder.

"San, stop being that way. Our Y/N is a good girl and she wants to make up for what she did. And I know for a fact you really enjoy having her suck you off."

San bit down at his bottom lip, enticed by the thought of his favorite doll's mouth stuffed full with his cock.

"Plus look at her, she wants your cock in her mouth too." Yeosang whispered softly in his ear.

Looking back down at the younger female, San took in her eyes that were widened like a deer's and staring up at him with a yearning. Although he made up his mind to give in, purely for his own satisfaction, he was going to have fun with it first.

"You want to show me you're sorry by sucking my cock babygirl?" San tilted his head down at her.

She quickly nodded her head, which displeased the other male.

"Words princess. Those lips of yours aren't just there to adorn your pretty face, now speak up or I'll take away your ability to speak." Yeosang gave her the first warning of the night.

"Yes, I want to show my daddy how sorry I am. Will daddy let me suck his huge cock?" She ended her inquiry by poking her tongue out to wet her lips.

With a totally smug grin, San started to unzip his pants.

"Hmmmm I don't know if you truly deserve to suck off my cock, after all, it's a superior cock to all the other one's you've had, aside from Yeosang's." He added, to which his friend couldn't help but smirk at.

"So why don't you beg first and then maybe I'll think about it?" But San and Yeosang both knew he'd end up face fucking the girl on the bed.

"Please daddy, let me suck your cock. I know I've acted like a total slut, but please use my mouth as you wish. Fuck yourself on my face until you make a mess of me."

With a satisfied gaze, San didn't hesitate to strip himself out of his pants, revealing that he had not worn any underwear underneath at all. Getting a peak over at Yeosang's disgruntled look, San could only shrug.

"We both know we'd end up fucking her either way so what was the point?"

Noticing that Y/N seemed to brighten up at his words, San was quick to tear down any illusions she had.

"Don't get ahead of yourself missy. Just cause I said we'd fuck you, it doesn't mean we're going to let you cum."

She couldn't help but pout her lips when he shut her down so cruelly. Resting a palm on the top of her head, San grabbed the base of his erect member and tapped the head along her upper lip.

"Maybe if you suck me off real good, I might think about it."

Lips parting around his cock, Y/N hummed as San sunk his length deeper inside her mouth. He sucked in a deep breath and then released a heavy groan, head tilting back as he slowly rolled his hips forward. Y/N generously opened her mouth to make way for his entire cock to slide in and out of her. San started a slow pace at first, wanting to savor the feeling of her wet mouth engulfing his entire shaft.

"Shit, you always treat me so well." He said in a raspy voice when he felt Y/N start suckling around his length.

"Told you she was our good little girl." Yeosang spoke up from the other side of the bed, watching in earnest as his friend was getting his cock sucked by their sugar baby. Feeling the atmosphere get heated, Yeosang started unbuttoning his dress shirt, peeling it open enough for his rock hard abs to peek out, a sight very few got to behold. He ran a hand down his thigh, resisting the urge to whip his own member out and jerk off to the scene in front of him. As much as he wanted to, he had a lot of self control and he'd much rather have Y/N wrap her own hands around his cock. Or better yet, he'd rather pound it into her pussy.

San continued to let our groan after groan, his hips starting to become more aggressive in their movements. With a hand gripping the back of her head, he forced her face down until she was gagging all around his shaft. When he released her, she only managed to take a deep breath before he was bucking his hips up into her mouth in a continuous motion.

"Oh God- yes that's right. Suck my cock like the good whore you are."

Y/N felt herself clench around nothing when he heard San speak up above her. Hollowing her cheeks even further, one of her hands slid up San's thigh and then cupped his balls. That action had him throwing his head back as he drove himself into her mouth more roughly.

"Oh fuck babygirl, you're driving me insane."

If she could, Y/N would have smiled at the praises San was now bestowing upon her. She made sure to squeeze and fondle his balls as she knew he'd like, further heightening the pleasure he was feeling. She was so concentrated and focused on sucking San off that she didn't realize Yeosang had leaned closer towards them. One of his hands delicately came up to caress his baby's ass, fingertips brushing across her soft skin and creeping closer to her tiny hole. With a sly smile, he plunged his middle finger inside her, wiggling it slightly before curling it up and rubbing it on her hood.

"Yeosang-" San growled when he was made aware of what was happening only because when Yeosang started pushing his finger inside Y/N's pussy, she had given him a particularly long suck that caught him off guard, nearly throwing him over the edge.

Smiling unapologetically, Yeosang merely added a second finger into her hole, using them to spread her folds apart.

"She's mine too and I get to play with her however I want."

Although muffled due to San's cock, Y/N was moaning wildly as Yeosang swirled and circled his fingers into her, his thumb playing close attention to her clit.

"My cute little doll for me to play with." He finished saying as he continued to finger her hole.

"Yeah? Well right now I'm going to paint this little doll's face with my cum. Make a mess on her."

Holding her head in place, San shut his eyes and through gritted teeth began to recklessly fuck himself against her face, his tip hitting the back of her throat every time he pushed back in. As soon as his cock twitched, San pulled himself out and quickly began pumping his length. Making sure to get as close as possible, San groaned in ecstasy when sputters of his cum started pouring out and landing on Y/N's face. Yeosang himself whined lowly as he watched the white liquid trickle down her forehead, cheeks and even her nose. Whatever fell close to her mouth was quickly cleaned up by her tongue, further pleasing the male she just brought to his climax.

"Oh you're such a dirty girl." He grinned at her.

Knowing his friend wasn't done with her quite yet, Yeosang slipped his fingers that were still lodged in her heat out. Bringing them up to his mouth, he licked it all clean as he saw how San began turning her so her ass was now facing him.

"You sucked me off like a champ baby, but you know my hard on is difficult to get rid of."

She did indeed knew, having been used over and over by solely him in just one night. It seemed he was insatiable when it came to her, never leaving without at least making sure they came 4 to 6 times. If Yeosang was added to the equation, then it'd be less, but only because it would get more rough, kinky and he'd insist on not pushing their precious princess too far.

Y/N eagerly pushed her ass up as far as she could, wiggling it a little just to put on a show for San, which he noticed.

"Does the little slut now want to get fucked from behind?" San teased, his hardening member poking at one of her cheeks.

"Please Daddy." She made sure to remember the manners Yeosang had taught her, the latter smiling proudly that she remembered the training he'd given her.

"All right, but only cause you said please."

They both moaned out, one from the overwhelming feeling of his member being gripped tightly and the other from having her walls stretched out so deliciously. Y/N couldn't get comfortable just yet, as there was still an extra pair of eyes watching them and he was now beginning to strip himself out of his clothes, his eyes peering down at the younger female so intensely.

"San, quit playing around and fuck her, but make sure she doesn't cum."

Before Y/N could get a chance to say anything, any words about to come out of her mouth were strangled out when the man behind her started pounding his cock into her core. His hands were gripping down harshly on her skin, using her ass as leverage to push himself back inside her even more deeper. Yeosang stood to the side watching all this with an eerily serene and pleased smirk. As much as he loved punishing and fucking their babygirl himself, he preferred and enjoyed more watching San carry out his orders and punish her instead. San may be the one who mostly took action, but it was always at Yeosang's commands. He was the true mastermind behind everything that happened in the bedroom. His cock was painfully hard as he reveled in the sight of seeing his friend's cock being driven inside Y/N's pussy.

"You enjoying this you fucking sadist?" San snarled as he noticed the way Yeosang was staring. Wanting to toy around with Yeosang for a bit, he cupped a bit of Y/N's hair in his hand before yanking on it so her face would look up at Yeosang.

Smiling with no remorse, Yeosang chuckled under his breath.

"More than you'll ever comprehend. Now can you please add a little bit more spice in this? Make it hard for our princess to not cum."

Having the perfect idea in mind, San used the free hand that wasn't gripping her hair to come down and spank one of her ass cheeks.

"F-fuck!" Y/N cried out as her body jolted forward.

"You heard Yeosang. Don't you dare cum at all baby." He warned her as his hand landed 2 more smacks across her skin.

Y/N's legs began trembling under San. The combination of his hips snapping his cock deep in her plus his hand striking her ass was becoming unbearable to withstand. She wanted to cum so badly, especially after hours of being edged and toyed around with before. Her eyes looked over to Yeosang, silently pleading him to allow her to give into her much anticipated release. But he remained unmovable, he just continued to watch her as his hand slowly stroked his shaft.

"Please daddy....." She whimpered in a rather pathetic manner, trying hard not to clench around San's dick.

When Yeosang moved towards her, she thought that maybe she'd get what she wanted, but instead she shuddered when he suddenly gripped her face harshly.

"I told you time and time again that I want you to use your words, but it seems you just don't get it. So why don't we try to fix that?"

Releasing her cheeks rather harshly, Yeosang looked over to San.

"San, do me a favor and shut her up for a while. I don't want to hear any sound from her for a few minutes."

Getting the hint of what Yeosang wanted, San sent him a knowing smile.

"It'll be my pleasure."

Pressing his hand on the back of her head, he pushed her face until it was completely sunken in the mattress underneath them. Yeosang smirked with satisfaction as he heard Y/N's screams being muffled now as San intensified his thrusts, the new angle making it easier for his dick to hit her g-spot each time he pushed back in.

"Oh fuck! I'm gonna cum." He gasped out, frantically chasing his high.

"Cum inside her."

That command shocked even San. Ever since they started the relationship, they had never once came inside Y/N's hole, always preferring to cum on her body.

"Have you lost your-"

"Did I stutter? Either you cum inside her little cunt and fill her up or I'll make sure neither of you are cumming at all."

Knowing fully well Yeosang was very capable of making it happen, San didn't press the matter any further and caved in. With feral groans, he stilled his hips as he began emptying himself inside Y/N, cock spurting out endless amounts of cum that painted her walls. Even though her sounds were semi muted, both of them could make out her frustrated whines at not being allowed to cum while feeling San's hot semen pool into her. Releasing his hold on her, San pulled out of her and quickly stepped aside as he could tell Yeosang couldn't hold back anymore.

Before Y/N could fully catch her breath or get a hold of herself, she gasped when she was suddenly turned around on her back as Yeosang stared at her with hunger and lust. She let out a choked wail when his cock entered her and gave her no time to prepare as he started a merciless rhythm of tearing into her pussy. With her legs thrown over his shoulders, the position only made her more weak. Her clit and folds were beyond pink, bordering on a crimson red and were puffed up to an extreme. Tears brimmed down her face as she felt her body give into the overwhelming pleasure she was feeling. Her body was so exhausted after so much foreplay and being used for her daddies' twisted ways that she felt like she was going to pass out from how intense her growing orgasm was becoming. She couldn't feel or register anything aside from the burning between her legs and the sound of skin slapping that was heard throughout the room.

"You wanna cum now my little doll?" Yeosang taunted at her, one hand snaking to her neck once more and squeezing softly.

"Yes! P-please let me cum!" She begged fervently, shouting as loud as she could even though her throat was being constricted.

"Fine. I think you learned your lesson princess. Now cum for me. Cum for your daddy." He instructed her.

With eyes rolling to the back of her head, Y/N's body started convulsing uncontrollably under Yeosang's. Her vision blurred as shockwaves gripped at her body and had her dissolving into a puddle of intense pleasure. Throughout all this, Yeosang continued to plunge his cock into her, not stopping until his own cum was flooding her heat, mixing in with her juices and with San's cum that had been previously bestowed inside her. He had a completely unapologetical and proud smile as he pulled out to watch his cum seep out of her.

"One of us is going to get you pregnant babygirl.... let's wait and find out."

#ateez scenarios #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez reactions #ateez dilf au #dilf!ateez #ateez yeosang scenarios #ateez yeosang imagines #ateez yeosang smut #ateez yeosang fanfiction #ateez san fanfic #ateez san scenarios #ateez san smut #ateez san imagines #kang yeosang #kang yeosang smut #choi san #choi san smut #kang yeosang scenarios #choi san scenarios #kang yeosang fanfic #choi san fanfiction

[for-the-ninth]

I know it's technically Last Line Monday, but I re-wrote a previously posted excerpt and wanted to share it with y'all before I forget. Tagged some folks below the cut, share some work if ya wanna!

This is a snippet from what I think will be chapter 14 of The Life That Left Me, in which Cullen has a PTSD flashback (it's not described here) and Cassandra comes by to check on him after. Still not sure if I like this version or the previous better. If you have a preference, feel free to let me know in the comments!

***

Cassandra laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he met her gaze. “You will always find someone whose suffering seems greater than yours—people for whom life dealt a bad hand.” 

“Life didn’t deal those people a bad hand, Cassandra—we did. We imprisoned them out of fear, or perhaps out of malice.” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m not sure which is worse.” 

The implication was clear, and it silenced Cassandra, though she did not appear to be angry. Cullen kept his eyes averted and she did the same. Did she feel as shameful as he did? 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. 

“What for?”

Everything. “The guard said I turned you away when you last visited, but I’ve no memory of it.” 

Cassandra snorted. “I can hardly fault you for what you cannot recall.” She lifted the iron fire poker from its stand and prodded unnecessarily at the logs, eyes fixed on the crackling flames. “You were out of your mind.” 

A hollow chuckle fell from his chapped lips. “That’s…one way of putting it.” 

Cassandra’s eyes left the fire to meet his, and she took a long pause before speaking. “You must give yourself grace, Cullen.” 

She’d expressed similar sentiments before, to placate him when the going got tough and the guilt threatened to sway him from the path, and he’d always listened. “You’re only human,” she’d say, or, “We do the best with what we have.” But was kidnapping, imprisoning, and killing truly the best they could do?

“I have earned no such thing,” he said. “I deserve no such thing.” 

Cassandra leaned toward him, eyes alight with a fresh wave of indignance. “And who put you in charge of deciding who is worthy of the Maker’s forgiveness?” 

“The fucking Chantry!” His voice was too loud for the tiny room and too sharp for his dear friend, but years of pent up rage bubbled in his belly and he hadn’t the heart to push it down again. “I trained until I could no longer lift my arms, I prayed until the recitations felt like breathing, I drank the draught of the faithful and I did whatever was asked of me without question, because they said the nature of the threat justified our means. I gave everything to the Chantry, and now”—his voice broke, and he swallowed the lump in his throat—“now I am nothing.” 

His head fell to his hands. Cassandra made no effort to comfort him physically, and for that he was grateful—tears already pricked the corners of his eyes, and her touch would’ve opened the floodgates.

“You are not nothing,” she said. “You are mortal and therefore flawed, as we all are. That makes you no less worthy in the eyes of the Maker.”  

“I already told you, I don’t—”

“Your faith in Him may be shaken, but my faith in you has never wavered, Cullen.” He met her eyes, and though her tone was firm, her gaze was warm, filled to the brim with compassion he didn’t deserve. “I know you to be kind, capable, and more resilient than most.” 

“Even if all you say is true, even if I am all of those things, I…” His voice broke again, and this time he did not bother stifling his tears. “I don’t know how to live when I’m the reason so many have died.

“Nor do I,” she said. “But the Maker did not give us life just so we could wallow in it. Whether for His sake or everyone else’s, we must try.”

tags: @a11sha11fade @barbex @scribbledquillz @nirikeehan @oxygenforthewicked @noire-pandora @roguelioness @charmcity-jess @roguelioness @emerald-amidst-gold did I forget anybody??? I always feel like I'm forgetting someone

#my writing #dragon age fanfiction #cullen rutherford #accountability hurts and regret is heavy

[romeulusroy]

Instinct (Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

((TFATWS SPOILERS))

Character/s: Bucky

Word Count: 1,110

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @megnotfound @ladyeliot @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon @valkyrie-2312

A/N: I haven't written in over a month and I'm scared it shows 💔 I'm really unsure with writing lately, I thought about not posting this, but I feel like I owe it big time. This was supposed to be something different, but I can't say I hate the direction it took. There aren't any major spoilers, it just follows the general plot, but I figured better to be safe than sorry. I hope you like it, and that I'm not too "out of the game" or bad at this lol. Feedback is always appreciated.Thank you for being so patient with my break my loves, it means the world 💜💖💜

Summary: He wants to move on, you don't 💕

Gif Credit: @captain-james / link :)

FIC MASTERLISTS 1 -> 3 / WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

There is a static between you. One that is ruthless, hostile, sharp. It makes your gums bleed to describe it, tasting nothing but iron, bitterness, a resentment that is otherwise untouchable by any other creature. A hatred towards the mirror, towards your own skin and bone, your entire fucking existence. Catching his eyes, even for a second, is staring into the sun. Blinding. Aggressive. Burning, until every inch of you is set aflame, itching to turn and run, to tear apart, to scream. Scream until there is nothing of you left. A reminder of what was, what is, and what will never be. What neither of you can go back to, as fitting as the mold may seem, as secure as that title may be, as comforting as that role used to be, he refuses, and you follow along. Bury the body, he thinks that will make him someone new, someone worth everyone else's time. Do not flinch when they say your name, when they whisper every awful thing you did, when they tease you, leaving the door open, enough so for the light to peak through. An escape plan, you think. You hope. A way back to the life before, where your mind was someone else's, when the world was cruel and you were allowed to be cruel back. He does not see it that way, slamming that door shut, locking it from the outside, and swallowing the key.

One word, an invitation, that's all you need. The risk is great, but the urge is greater. Split yourself open. Self destruct. Skip the steps, skip what they insist is healing when all they do is rip open old wounds. Skip the apologies, the sob story, the introduction. The look in their eyes never flinches, no matter how many times you beg. Why bother? Return to what they wanted, needed, feel a certain belonging you could never get back walking into the civilian world.

Your footprints made of blood, a sticky red trail left wherever you go. That's what they see, and they don't bother hiding it. The disgust. The references you don't understand, too old to laugh, to sigh, to roll your eyes. The world moved on without you, spinning faster than you remember, and you are left to catch up. They have their lists, their paper and pencil, all the recommendations one could offer. It would be endearing, maybe, but you have nothing to offer. None of the energy to play catch up. None of the want. Time slips through your fingers, wasted, growing spoiled, mocking you. You have better things to do than watch a movie, more important things, things that filled you with purpose, no matter how sick.

You would have been disgusted. Horrified. Speechless. You would have hated yourself more than you already do. But you are older now, far more experienced, hardened by a life you never could have expected. Learned to want it, though. An animal secured by captivity does not know how to survive in the wild. You were never equipped to live like this: free. The knives, the guns, the special ways in which you read even the smallest of actions, turning people into pages, an open book for you to skim, before placing back on the shelf.

You adapted, grew to fit what they wanted, who they wanted, until you too loved what you were. Dangerous, powerful, unfeeling. The numb became a high to chase, unsatisfied by anything else. Where he mirrored a version of yourself you left in the past, you embraced this role. The damage was done. The bodies put to rest. None of which you could take back, nor make up for. He sought redemption. You wouldn't dare. It wasn't by your choice, that much you could admit, but you could feel it, from the fits bullet to the last, you were never meant to be anything else. As gruesome as you had been, uncaring, quick, but painful, you would be nothing else. Assassin. Killer. Murderer.

They say it like it's a bad thing.

The guilt eats you alive, chews you up and spits you out, shattering your very being as you wake, each night, from another nightmare. The aggression, the shame, all of it you share as fairly as you can, and yet, you wear it so differently, making you more distinct than you could ever explain. The only other person in the world who has seen you at your lowest, your highest, faced what you have, seen what you've seen, and you can't stand to look at him. Not for the wounds he sewed up, his eyes falling on your broken body, nor is the sobs, the pleas, the prayers he heard escape you in moments of desperation. Not because he knows the way you scream, your body used for their own gain, enveloped in a pain only the Devil can inflict, or because he has seen you shoot without a second of hesitation, moving forward before their body hits the ground. None of it, not even the things you care not to mention, to think about, nit even now. It's that he has become resistant, soft even.

He fights a fight he knows he cannot win. He draws the line between good and bad, hero and villain, as if there even is one, as if they are not the same in moments of desperation, of selfishness, or of great selflessness. That he thinks he can stop being what they made him, resisting the instincts they worked so hard to ingrain. You feel it, too. Turning off everything around you, picking apart the situation before it plays out. Footsteps, whispers, how many there are, where, how quickly they can get to you. A dance you know each step to, the two of you in sync. This time, no leader, no follower, but two soldiers taking orders. Without them, he thinks himself above who he used to be, who you used to be, what you were, but you know better.

You want nothing more than to slip back into old habits. That look, that stare, the wince he hides when they bring up his crimes, he wants the same. Step back, fall into old ways, let go until there is no one left to scorn you for what they put into your head.

Where they see Bucky, a man escaped, in remorse, righting his wrongs, you see The Winter Soldier, a friend, a weapon, an old accomplice. One of them, you respect, trusting with your life. The other, nothing more than a facade, a mask, a weakness, an act even he has tricked himself into believing.

#writing #bucky barnes #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes oneshot #the winter soldier #the winter soldier drabble #the winter soldier oneshot #avengers #avengers drabble #avengers oneshot #the falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier drabble #the falcon and the winter soldier oneshot #tfatws #tfatws drabble #tfatws oneshot #marvel #marvel drabble #marvel oneshot #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #x reader #drabble #oneshot #tfatws spoilers #the falcon and the winter soldier spoilers

[maplecornia]

chapter 28

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.13K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔞/𝔫: Jin looks kind of like a vampire in my banner ngl

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags:@kookaine |@fangirl125reader |@kookiebbyxx |@taradevonne |@rae-bear |@mangminnie |@pixiekooo

What does he know?

You find yourself spacing out as you stand at the printer, waiting for Namjoon's schedule.

Just when you thought you had found some normalcy to your already chaotic life, you find yourself here. Biting your bottom lip, you groan, falling on top of the printer, the warmth as it sparks to life easing you even if it's for a little while.

"Why me?" you murmur, your brow furrowed and eyes glistening with helpless emotion. "Why now?"

What happened to the auditions you had sent before? In a time where you believed that you could achieve your dream without anything or anyone else holding you back. Were you not good enough then?

What makes you good enough now?

Groaning, you slide off the printer and run your hands through your hair. Your neat look has been thoroughly rumpled, just like your day, and you wonder if there will ever be a time where you're allowed to breathe.

Where you're welcome to let go.

With the small slip of paper sliding out of the printer, you grab it and turn swiftly around, ready to take it to Namjoon.

If only life were easier.

With a sharp cry, you bump into a couple of people walking by, and scalding hot liquid splatters between the two of you. A bitter, almost pitch black liquid soils your shirt and destroys the schedule you hold in your hands.

Coffee? Again?

Sighing, You wipe some of the drops off your face before glancing up to see if the pair is all right.

It's two girls and from the looks of it, they seem to be staff themselves, perhaps working on the publications team. You try to catch a glimpse of their badges, but they're moving too much and you can't get a good enough look.

However, you're able to catch a glimpse of their features perfectly fine. One of them is tall, with a soft tan to her smooth skin, and darker features. She has obsidian eyes that glitter when the light catches them and a square jawline that matches her demanding aura. Her hair is long and straight but looks soft to the touch. She doesn't wear many expressions on her face, however, and looks to be a bit standoffish. She would be hard to get close to.

The second one is the one who was carrying the coffee and though her face is pulled into one of disgust, you can tell that she's gorgeous. She has soft honeydew skin and almond butter eyes. Her face is perfectly symmetrical, and her lips full and glossy. Her eyes are large and wide, a deep brown color, with long dark eyelashes brushing against her cheek each time she blinks. They would otherwise be beautiful if they didn't sparkle with hatred and malice.

After a moment, you recognize what you've done; panic rising in your throat, you scramble to do something. You quickly reach for your emergency towels, but you've left your satchel in your small office. Cursing silently underneath your breath, you reach down to pick up the discarded cup and help her as best as you can.

"I'm sorry I--"

"Watch out will you?!"

Stunned, you step back, not sure what to do. It's been a while since you've been yelled at like that. A while since you've felt that shock. Swallowing hard, you shake it off and proceed to pick up the cup, keeping your distance.

Maybe it's better to just leave her alone.

"Wait..." at the sound of her voice, you look up, rather disinterested. "Who are you?"

Rolling your eyes, you turn to the trash can. You can't believe you expected an apology. Her friend, the one who was helping her clean up, peers at you before nudging her.

"She's who we were talking about, remember? Jaejin's replacement."

At the mention of your friend's name, your ears perk, and you drop the coffee cup in the trash can. Just what have they been saying about you two? Biting the inside of your cheek in annoyance, you turn around, facing them head-on.

"Oh!" The coffee girl's eyes widen. She looks you up and down as though inspecting a piece of meat. Her lip curls as she turns to her friends, eyes darkening with disgust. "Why didn't they ask one of us? She's hardly experienced."

You raise an eyebrow. Do they think you can't hear them? The dark beauty shrugs, her black eyes dull with disinterest.

"I heard she knows Jaejin. He gave her the post."

You try to be angry, you try to deny the accusations...but they aren't wrong.

Somehow, that makes it worse.

"Who is she, a colonizer?!" Ms. Coffee scoffs, tossing her hair over her shoulder. You try not to flinch, but you can't control it. You swallow hard, curling your hands into fists at your sides.

"Besides, isn't Jaejin dating Mijeong?"

Your breath stops as you hear the words, the same words Sunoh said when you met him. The same words which remind you of everything you have lost.

If they continue to speak, you don't listen, you can't hear them. The roar starts in your ears as your blood rushes to your head, and spots cloud your vision. You can't see, you can't think, you can't function.

Why is it still so hard?

Why can't you let go?

You feel yourself begin to sway as the room swirls into fragments of time and space, and you lose sight of where and who you are.

The only thing left is pain.

Always pain.

"Who says he isn't?" The hand wrapping itself securely around your shoulder, the soft calming voice at your ear, brings you back to reality and you're able to breathe again.

"Jojo?" The tall dark beauty's eyes widen and she steps back a bit. It seems as though she's started a fight she won't be able to finish. Jojo narrows her eyes, her hand tightening around your shoulder as she pulls you behind her in a protective gesture.

"What's going on here?"

"Nothing." Miss Coffee quickly intervenes, sending a wide smile your way. One that somehow comes across as menacing, matching the anger in her eyes. "Just a careless newbie is all."

Her voice is dripping with sarcasm and her friend beside her pinches her in her side, whispering something incomprehensible in her ear. The Coffee Girl shakes her off, growing furious by the second. You narrow your eyes her way. This has to be more than a stupid coffee spill, but what could she possibly have against you?

"Come on, Jojo. She's the one in the wrong. If it were any one of us, you wouldn't give a second look." She snarls before turning to you and reaching around Jojo to push you backward.

"Ya!" Jojo cries out in surprise, stepping in front of you, but not before the damage is done. Caught off guard, you stumble back into the printer. Her friend gasps, and steps back. You wonder if she's considering removing herself from the equation. Pulling yourself up, you glare at her before stepping forward.

"What's your problem?" you hiss, your hands clenching at your side to try and contain your anger. Jojo steps in front of you once more, just in case you decide to start swinging some punches. Frustrated, you push her aside. It's not like you're going to do anything. Jojo sends you a sideways glance, but you ignore her, focusing on the target in front of you. “What are you, a child?”

"Did you hear something?" The girl smirks, nudging her friend beside her who swallows nervously. You don't know why, but that only makes you angrier, and you consider stepping across Jojo to smack some sense into her. Instead, you deepen your glare and roll your eyes.

"Pathetic..."

Are you wrong? She's acting like a child. So naturally, your snide comment doesn't sit well with her. Eyes widening in anger, she raises her hand to slap you across the cheek, and you flinch.

But the strike never comes.

Opening your eyes slowly, you turn to find someone has come in between the two of you, hand wrapped tightly around the girls. You look to Jojo, half expecting the source to be her...but it's not. Her eyes are wide and she seems to have frozen.

So then who?

"Now now." Your eyes widen at the voice and your heart starts pounding hard in your ears as he steps in front of you, shielding you. The girl stares up at him with shameful fear, as though her entire world has just been shattered. "You should really watch your temper."

He drops her hand and she steps back, her friend catching her from behind.

"You never know who might be watching."

He gestures to the room, at the groups of people watching, whispering to each other. They don't hide their interest, nor their disgust as they send looks towards the girl.

Satisfied, he turns to you, a reassuring smile breaking out on his face. The same face known and cherished worldwide. Up close, it's even more unreal.

Kim Seokjin.

"As you said, Yen is new, and when you were first starting out, you made way more mistakes believe me." Jojo snaps, her eyes glittering with anger as she turns to Coffee. She steps forward, leaning beside her ear.

"I would be careful who you make an enemy, sweetheart." She whispers harshly, loud enough for anyone close to the two of them to hear. "Namjoon quite likes his assistant, wonder what he'd do if something happened to her."

Though the threat wasn't directly said, it's clear what Jojo meant and as she pulls back, smiling sweetly; the girl's pale face tells you that she clearly understood.

"Is that all then?" Jin says from beside you, causing you to jump. When did he get so close? The girl glances at the two of you and seems to grow furious at the sight. Her pale face quickly flushes with anger and she scowls before storming away, ramming her shoulder violently into yours before she goes; her friend scuttling after her.

"Ya!" Jojo calls, but the girl is already gone, and you don't mind. Scoffing, she shakes her head before turning to you. "So immature...what are we kids?"

You don't respond, instead, you turn away from the pair of them, finding your printed schedule discarded and drenched on the ground. Sighing, you pick it up, holding it gingerly in your hands.

Everything soiled.

"Now I have to start all over."

Behind you, Jojo and Jin give each other a look before Jojo kneels beside you and places her hand on your shoulder. When you don't look at her right away, she peers into your face and you turn to her, your face blank.

"Yen, are you alright?" you nod before pulling away, throwing the schedule in the trash can.

"I'm fine."

Jojo sighs before standing as well.

"Why didn't you stop them?" you pause at the question.

Why didn't you stop them? You're not sure you know yourself. You wanted to, you wanted to fight back...

But you have no fight left.

Sighing, you shake off the feeling of despondency before turning to her and smiling weakly.

"Were they wrong?" Jin furrows his brow in concern at the phrase. He tries to read your expression, understand what's wrong but it's near impossible. You've closed yourself off to everyone around you, and while you try to act tough, you're afraid. Sighing you turn away from them, unable to handle the pitying looks. "Besides, I don't have to answer to them."

I don't have to answer to anybody.

After a moment, Jin walks to your side and places his hand gently on your shoulder. Surprised, you flinch away from his grasp, but it doesn't phase him. He looks down at you with a somber expression before noticing your drenched shirt. You follow his gaze and the heat of embarrassment floods your cheeks. You quickly fold your arms across the stain, acting as though it doesn't exist. He smirks a little at the attempt.

Now she...she's interesting.

"Jojo?" He calls, still staring at you, and you narrow your eyes.

What is he expecting, a cookie?

"Would you mind printing out the schedule for Ms..." His eyes search for your badge before he locates it and takes it, reading your name. "...Lin today?"

Jojo nods but looks towards him a bit perplexed.

"Sure...but what are you planning to do?"

Smiling he twirls your ID in his hand before you snatch it away from him which only makes his smile grow wider. Taking your hand, he turns and pulls you behind him, Jojo staring at the two of you in shock.

"I'm going to help her change."

𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢: another BTS member encounter! and yes, it's the cliche stop of the slap, shut up 🙄

chapter 29 here

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

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[justice4harwin]

Light's Corruption- Chapter IV

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Summary:With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty

Rating: 18+

Click here for chapter 3

Tags are in the comment section. If you dont wanna be there or wanna be added please let me know 😊

Anyways, I hope you like this one. I'm really excited over a particular scene 😏😏

Chapter 4: golden butterfly, black rose

Alina woke up with a new purpose: to observe and listen.

She hastily threw the blankets and sheets off of her and put on her kefta as she realized she might be late for breakfast.

Running down the stairs, hair a mess, the Sun Summoner smiled and greeted everyone on her path.

Some replied. Others just stared oddly.

She entered the hall to find that, as usual, Marie and Nadia had left a seat empty between them. Alina gingerly took it.

"Good morning!"

They gave her smiles as they reciprocated the greeting.

"You're in a good mood today." Nadia noticed, taking her spoon.

"I slept like a baby." she lied. She hadn't gotten that much sleep -Genya must've gotten even less- but she felt good that day.

Just the day before, she had been able to summon on her own for the first time, and she had to stay positive if she wanted to accomplish her new mission.

She engaged more in the chatter with the grisha women that day, venturing so far as to reply with questions of her own to get to know them better.

"I didn't know you had a brother, Nadia." she said, genuinely surprised as they made their way to Botkin's stables.

The woman nodded with a half-annoyed, half-endearing smile.

"He's grisha too. A few years younger, so he's still at school. His name's Adrik."

"Is he a Squaller too?" 

Nadia confirmed that he was, because of course, the little rat had to copy everything about his older sister.

Alina laughed at that.

"The little girl seems very happy for someone who's about to get into a fight?" were the words with which Botkin received her.

Alina fought back the need to recoil. The only time she had won so far had been against Zoya, …if one could consider that a win given what happened right after.

"Maybe I'll be lucky today." she beamed at him.

Botkin seemed almost surprised.

"Positivity is fine, little girl, but you need to focus during a fight. But first." he clapped his hands twice, immediately getting all the attention. "Run around the lake. Twice. The last one to get back here will help the stable hands for the rest of the day."

Alina really ran like never before that day.

Her side hurt, and she almost felt like she wasn't getting enough air; but after the first half, her legs didn't burn so much anymore, and she felt almost as good as she did when walking.

"Damn, Starkov." she turned her head to see that Michail, a heartrender with a hard-shaped face and kind, green eyes, was easily keeping up with her. "When did you get this fast?"

"Practice." she said, a little breathless but feeling nice with the cold air slapping against her face. "Besides, I really don't wanna end up in the stables."

He laughed at that.

"That makes two of us. I hate those animals."

Alina frowned. She just didn't wanna clean up their shit, but other than that, she could find nothing wrong with horses.

"Why?"

"Those long faces," he said, gesturing over his own. "they're scary."

"You're scared of horses?!" she asked, disbelieving. 

"Why don't you yell it a little louder?" he asked, looking around at the disperse group, but he was smirking. They weren't at the front, but they weren't slagging at the back either.

"Sorry." she leaned in. "I'll keep your secret if you help me not to be the last."

"I don't think you need my help," he laughed. "but sure."

She got knocked down on her ass by a short Inferni woman with dark blonde hair, but Alina laughed it off, hiding her embarrassment, and stretched out a hand. The Inferni rose an eyebrow and then helped her up.

"Thanks." she told her, dusting off the back of her kefta.

"For kicking your ass?"

"Hey, I think I did learn a thing or two." she winked. "Next time I'll be ready."

"Oh, so you want a rematch?" the woman asked, amused, as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

"If you're up for it." Alina shrugged.

"Deal." they shook hands. "But it'll have to wait until we're done with him." she said, nodding towards Botkin, who was busy making rounds, watching the others. "I'm Natasha, by the way."

"Alina."

"Oh, I know. Everyone knows." she smiled once more before retreating to a small group of Inferni that had reunited by a corner.

As she passed by the lake in her usual route to Baghra's hut, Alina got startled by the damage she had done to the perfectly green grass. Gardeners were still at work getting rid of the black mass she had left in her path, going so far as to dig into the earth. They saw her passing and glanced up, some frightened, others definitely not amused.

"I am so sorry." she whispered frantically, before hurrying her steps.

"Don't let the heat out!" was all the greeting she got from the ancient woman.

Alina closed the door and hurried to the chair that awaited her. She was smiling.

"I don't think that will be a problem." she said, proud of herself.

She scoffed. "So I have heard. Show me." she said, hitting her in the arm with her cane.

"Ouch!"

With a nasty frown, Alina placed her palms in front of the others and called the light that she had rejected for so long. So eager to answer, her power rushed through and out of her, and she was almost puzzled by its intensity. She focused on keeping the orb small.

"Uh. Well, it took you long enough."

"A 'Congratulations' would be nice."

She got hit again. Her light wavered and then solidified again.

"Congratulations? What? Do you want a parade thrown in your honour as well? For what? Doing what you were supposed to do your entire life? Shut up and expand the orb. Make it encompass the entire place."

With deep breaths, both to concentrate and control her anger, Alina steadily expanded her light, making it fill the hut.

"Bend it to its shape."

Carefully, she tried to do as she was told.

"You were right, about being held back." she uttered as she tried to shape her light to blend in with the walls.

"I know." the woman said, petulant. "Now call it back and repeat until there is no effort to it."

Alina tried, and tried again, but as eager as her power was to explode, her body was eager for a long, long nap. There had been so much repression, so much denial for so many years, that it was as if the light wanted to just explode out of her body and consume it all.

It scared her a little, but she focused.

The Darkling had told her she was magnificent, Alina remembered, and he had made it sound like she was capable of anything.

The way his grey eyes shone with such intensity, like he wanted to engulf her into his arms and have her all to his own, the way in which his hand felt against hers, or how just even being next to him made her want to lean into and over him like a lazy, overly clingy cat. 

She'd lay on top of him all day if she could.

Alina wondered what would've happened if Genya hadn't arrived at the moment she did. Would The Darkling had kissed her? What would his lips taste like? How would his beard feel against her skin? Just exactly how good was he with his tongue?

Alina blushed. The light flickered, as if excited at the mere idea of the man.

She had kissed a few people before, but him, there was something about him that told her that if he should kiss her only once, she'd spend the rest of her life running after the very same sensation and more.

"Dreaming about your dark prince again?"

She looked at Baghra.

"What?" looking around, she noticed that her light had expanded farther than the hut and she was glowing.

Alina snapped her hands, and everything was dark again. Her fingers tingled with power, her eyelids closed with exhaustion.

"I-I wasn't-" she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the new environment.

"Stupid, stupid girl. You need to focus on your task."

"I'd concentrate better if I wasn't being hit every five min-OUCH!"

"Do not make excuses with me. You are lazy, easily distracted, you do not know what you are getting yourse-"

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be such a great teacher, I've still got to see some actual teaching." Alina snapped. "All you do is yell at me, hit me and belittle me; yet one conversation with The General I can finally summon." the brunette spat, each word more angrier than the previous one. "So don't try to blame me for your shortcomings."

Baghra was silent, nostrils flaring. When it looked like she might raise her cane and hit Alina right in the head with it, she opened her thin lips instead:

"Out." she uttered, almost inaudible. "Out! And do not come back!"

"Gladly!"

Alina stood up and marched for the door, her steps almost as loud as the insults the old woman was throwing after her.

"Stupid girl! Unconscious! Just another pawn of his! You never learn! Lazy! Stupid! Blind!"

 It was a good thing the old crone couldn't see the tears of frustration and shame in her eyes.

She was on her way back to the Little Palace, trying to decide if she should bathe or go to the library first.

Baghra’s words still rang in her head.

Maybe, if she was quick, really quick with her bath,...but then again, she was getting too used to such a luxury, that once in there it was quite difficult to leave unless the water turned cold.

But if she went to the library, she’d be there until the words blurred and her eyes burned.

On the other hand, there were other grisha in the library, and she couldn’t afford to walk in there smelling like-

"Alina?"

General Kirigan's smooth voice had her turning on her heels, hand still massaging the spot on her arm Baghra's cane had so harshly landed. She had managed to hold back the tears, but the woman's word still stung.

"Moi Soverennyi." She greeted but forgot to bow.

He looked at her arm.

"How was your lesson?"

"I spent months with her and nothing; five minutes with you and I can summon." She basically spat, still bitter at Baghra's harsh words. "I think that speaks for itself."

He smiled, almost.

"Give the old woman some credit. She is good at what she does."

"Terrorizing isn't teaching." she replied, and then, with her head high, added: "She didn't get me to summon."

"No." The Darkling agreed, taking a step towards her. All engulfed in his black cloak, he almost seemed to float. "You did it. It was all you." He said it with such reverence that her breath became shallow.

She didn't look away from his eyes. The storms swirling in there were magnetic. There was so much going on in there at the moment, yet it all sped up through those grey orbs so fast she couldn't make sense of it.

"Why don't you teach me?" The words slipped from her tongue before she could think better of it.

He rose an eyebrow, taking another predatory step towards her.

"I serve the King. I run an entire army. I do not have the time to train everyone personally, nor would I want anyone to think they are favoured above others." 

He was so close to her now, she had to crane her neck to look up.

"You once said there was no one else like us; who could be a better teacher?"

In truth, she also wanted to see him more often. Glimpses as he passed through the Little Palace or left Os Alta, and the occasional conversation weren't enough for her.

"You flatter me, Miss Starkov."

"I only state my opinion." she took a step, shortening the distance, like he was a magnet calling for her.

Mirth shone in his eyes. It made her smile. 

"I will be going away for a few weeks." At this, her smile fell, and his formed as he tilted her chin up with his gloved fingers.

Alina stared up into his eyes, dark with something.

"I'll miss you." She whispered, foolishly, without thought. 

"Will you?" He asked, almost perplexed for a moment.

She found herself nodding.

"I know we don't get much chance to talk, but I like talking to you." She confessed, a knot in her throat. "You understand all,...this." she flickered her fingers and a tiny orb of light formed above her hand.

His eyes followed suit, almost fascinated, like he still couldn't quite believe her power was real. And when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe she was real.

His hand rose and shadows swallowed her light. Alina watched them dance, entranced by his power, and noticed it taking shape.

"For you." The Darkling said, handing her a black rose, from the base of its steam to the very last petal. "To remember me by while I am gone."

Disbelieving, she reached out and gasped as she touched the shadow. There was a little bit of gold in there, her own power hidden within, shimmering weakly here and there.

"I don't have anything to give you." She said, lamenting.

He leaned down, his beard rough against her soft cheek.

"Trust me, Alina," he whispered, her name on his lips against her ear making her tremble. "I could not forget you if I tried."

There was the whisper of a kiss against her cheek that seemed to linger for the longest moment, …and then he was leaving, cloak flipping behind him as he left the sun Summoner holding onto a small piece of shadow and a piece of her heart gone with him.

Click here for chapter Five

#shadow and bone #alina starkov #the Darkling #darklina #alina x aleksander #darkling x alina #fanfic #shadow and bone fanfic

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Hi this may not be new to everyone but I was recently introduced to the concept of questioning God. I was raised with the idea that you do not question Them bc who do we think we are to question God, and to question Them is to lack faith. I'm still trying to wrap my head round this new idea so sorry if this sounds really silly and naive but why would we want to question God? And is questioning God=lack of faith? Sorry if this was messily worded

Hey there, anon! When you’ve been raised never to question God, the idea of questioning them can be kind of scary -- but hopefully you will find it to be freeing and empowering and enriching, too! 

Now, I think most Christians would ascribe to some sort of “who are we to question God?” type mindset, as you name. I think I probably do, insofar as that means I tend to understand God as omniscient; I do believe that God’s answers and God’s will are Right and Just, are Correct, and that I don’t really have any hope of “proving God wrong.” But even so, it’s not a failure of faith to question anyway! As this post will assert, questioning is a healthy and powerful part of faith. 

For in questioning God, in going on a journey of reflection and asking God what the heck is up, I will learn and grow -- I will discover what God’s will truly is, and just why it is Right and Just. And I will grow deeper in relationship with God on the way. 

___________

(Before expounding on all of that, I want to add that there may well be some Christians who do believe that God might could be proven wrong -- or at least that God is open to learning and changing God’s mind! Diversity of faith and interpretation is valuable and worthy of respect. 

After all, there are stories in scripture where God changes Hir mind -- Xe is convinced by Abraham not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah if even just 10 righteous people live there; and by Moses to spare the people of Israel. 

And then there is one of my favorite stories from the life of Jesus, i.e. God Incarnate, where he seems to get schooled by a Canaanite or Syrophoenician woman. I’ve got a sermon on this very story and what it might mean about God’s relationship with us as one open to give-and-take, growth and change! 

If I’m not mistaken, a faith that makes room for the possibility of God changing God’s mind is more similar to most Jewish persons’ beliefs about God than a “God is always right. period.” type mentality. Anyway, back to the main point of this post!)

___________

Questioning God does not = a lack of faith. After all, countless faithful figures in scripture asked questions of God, from Moses to Habakkuk, from the psalmist to Jesus himself. See this post for examples!

In fact, many say that questioning God is actually evidence of a deep and vibrant faith. (Again, this idea is a Big Deal for our Jewish neighbors.) 

If you dare to question, if you spend time and energy pondering hard topics and you engage with God as you do so, that’s a sign that you care. That you want to know what is true about God, what is true about God’s will for us. You’re not willing to swallow lies or submit to easy answers. That’s powerful faith. As Rachel Held Evans puts it in her book Inspired,

“If I’ve learned anything from thirty-five years of doubt and belief, it’s that faith is not passive intellectual assent to a set of propositions. It’s a rough-and-tumble, no-holds-barred, all-night-long struggle, and sometimes you have to demand your blessing rather than wait around for it.”

___________

Now, saying all this stuff about faith probably requires a redefining of faith. If you’ve grown up being told that faith is as simple as believing in God, as not doubting God’s existence or God’s will, all of this stuff about faith being a struggle or a conversation with God or any of that doesn’t make much sense. So here are some quotes + places you can go to explore new meanings of just what faith is:

“The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s certainty -- because what need do the certain have for faith?” - Science Mike, The Liturgists. 

"The opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty. Certainty is missing the point entirely. Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns." - Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

It can also be helpful to understand faith not as an achievement, but as a gift -- not something we earn, but are given freely. See this post. 

The idea of faith being a journey with ups and downs, and doubt not being faith’s enemy but a healthy part of it, can be explored in this posts + the posts linked in that one.

I find Barbara Brown Taylor’s discussions of a full solar faith vs. a lunar faith in her book Learning to Walk in the Dark very helpful when discussing a relationship with God that allows us to bring Her all our questions and doubts and messy emotions. I described her idea of the perils of a full-solar faith in which we cannot question God and must act happy & thankful all the time in this older post.

____________

Okay. Let’s get to the part of asking questions of God that excites me the most -- using our questions as a way to enrich our relationships with God!

God longs for real, mutual relationships with us -- and that can’t happen if we are unquestioningly obedient, right? A relationship cannot be one-sided; it cannot be unbalanced; it must involve a willingness on both sides to hear the other out. It must allow for vulnerability, for confusion, for communication. 

In asking questions of God, we can grow in relationship with Them. And we will be following in a long tradition of good and faithful people who have done the same! 

Here’s a quote on how sharing our questions and frustrations with God can actually deepen our relationship with them:

"My favorite Quaker example of this willingness to confront God is a story told by a woman who was so frustrated with her life she began berating God. For nearly an hour, she told God how pissed off she was with Him. Finally, her anger subsided and she heard a “still, small voice” whisper to her: “Finally, we can have an honest relationship.”"

- Anthony Manousos

And another quote about how letting God in on our anger or frustration towards Them is an important part of being honest and connecting with Them:

“Is it ever acceptable to be angry at God? I would suggest that it is not only acceptable, it may be one of the hallmarks of a truly religious person. It puts honesty ahead of flattery.” - Harold S. Kushner

_____________

An additional reason we would want to question God is because sometimes, what we are really questioning is whether a certain thing we have been told is actually of God is or not. Often, when we question God what we’re really questioning is the ideas of God that have been fed to us by other human beings. 

For instance, if we have been told that the Bible holds nothing but God’s direct word and will, and then find passages that seem to promote harmful things like genocide or slavery, it is right and good and human to question whether such things are actually promoted by God! 

“Accepting the Bible’s war stories without objection threatened to erase my humanity. ‘We don’t become more spiritual by becoming less human,’ Eugene Peterson said. How could I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength while disengaging those very faculties every time I read the Bible?” - Rachel Held Evans, Inspired

Or if we’ve been told that LGBT relationships are not God’s will, but then we see such relationships bearing good fruit while the repression of an LGBT identity bears bad fruit, it’s sensible and good to question what God’s will in this matter really is.

"If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?" - Rachel Held Evans

For more on this element of questioning God that is more about questioning scripture or certain church teachings / leaders, see my “Framework for Interpreting Scripture” page on my website. 

_________

I’ll close by commending to you my #wrestling God tag. There you will see many examples of faithful people asking God questions, bringing their difficult emotions and their doubts to God, and even getting snarky with God! For instance, a post with verses expressing anger or confusion towards God.

Finally, if you dive into what it means to ask questions of God, things might get overwhelming for a while -- some people find that taking these steps causes them to feel like everything they thought they know about God has changed. If that happens to you, I’ve got a post that aims to guide you through some steps to getting to know God again. 

Best of luck to you, anon, as you continue your faith journey! Please let me know if you have any more questions as you go! 

#wrestling God #questioning God #faith tag #doubt tag #Anonymous #essays

[katedrakeohd]

Sweating it out. 🤤💦

This is a naughty wacky drabble incorporating @emceesynonymroll prompts #40 and #41.

40Don't you ever do that again and 41Can you move? will appear bolded in the story.

The previous two parts in this series can be found here if you want to catch up.

Choices Book : The Royal Heir

Rated: Mature 18+ for sexual content and swearing.

Warnings: swearing, pregnancy sex, oral sex.

Characters: Drake and Kate Walker, Hana Lee. (No this is not a threesome)

Word count: 2653 (all fun, no filler 😉)

...

Tagging:

Wacky Drabblers: @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @bebepac @pedudley @bbrandy2002 @axwalker @sirbeepsalot @debramcg1106 @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby @ravenpuff02 @romanticatheart-posts @jessiembruno @flutistbyday2020 @soheila-1996 @kingliam-rys

Drake Walker tag list:

@texaskitten30 @janezillow

@hopefulmoonobject @dcbbw @pedudley @marshmallowsaremyfavorite

@indiacater @kingliam2019

@jovialyouthmusic @walkerswhiskeygirl @speedyoperarascalparty @mfackenthal

(Sorry for any duplicate tags)

...

Author's note: this proceeds into smut right away, so consider yourself warned.

...

In the sunroom at Valtorian Manor the conversation has diminished from lighthearted chatting over lunch, to lounging on the floor in a lazy comfortable silence. The warmth of the room has lulled everyone into a sort of drunken, sleepy stupor. When the quiet is broken by the soft drone of Drake snoring, it makes Hana giggle, waking him up with a snort.

Hana stretches sleepily and gets up, deciding it's time to give the two lovers some privacy.

“Well this was a pleasant lunch date, but I have somewhere else to be. I'll gather up our lunch tray and dishes and return them to the kitchen on my way by.”

When Kate tries to sit up, Drake tugs her back into his arms, making her giggle. “Oh Hana, you're too kind. Don't worry about all that stuff.”

The two corgis follow Hana out of the room as she takes things with her. She responds cheerfully on the way out, “Really Kate, I don't mind. I'll see you two later for dinner.”

Kate sighs happily as she settles into Drake's chest, tucking her fingers between the buttons of his shirt and caressing his skin, “I love Hana, she's so wonderful.”

Drake responds with a hum of agreement, tucking his own hand into the denim shirt that Kate's wearing to rub her belly. “And I love both of you.”

Drake starts unbuttoning the shirt for better access, his hand sliding up to cup her breast, and tugging at her bikini top with his fingers. “I also love how full and beautiful these are, and it's a shame to keep them covered.”

“Be gentle now, they're sensitive.” Kate scolds playfully as she works on unbuttoning his shirt.

Once his chest is partially bared, she starts to kiss down the salty column of his neck, cupping his furry tit in her hand, and caressing his nipple with her thumb. Drake sucks in a breath and shifts his ass on the cushions, spreading his leg out a bit to give himself more room. His jeans were beginning to get uncomfortably tight.

When Kate's hand slides down over his belly and stops where his shirt is tucked into his waistband, Drake lets out a quiet groan, his breath hitching, “Kate, where are you going?”

Kate bites her lip, trying hard not to grin too wide, “Well it wouldn't be right not to finish what I've started now would it?”

Drake sits up on his elbows and looks around nervously at all the glass walls. “You sure about this? What if somebody sees us?”

Kate shrugs running her hand over the tight bulge in his jeans. “Well this is our house. And with the reduced staff right now, we're not likely to be disturbed.”

Drake leans over to give her a kiss, cupping her cheek, “And what did you have in mind?”

“Well, can you move over a little and get out of those jeans then I'll show you?”

Drake rolls over and gets up to strip down out of his jeans, and tosses his shirt aside as well, “Does this answer your question?”

After taking off her borrowed denim shirt, she beckons him over. “C'mere sexy.”

Drake strides over, the prominent erection in his underwear leading the way.

“And what does the Duchess want me to do with this ?” he grins, putting his hands on his hips and rocking them side to side.

Sitting up on her knees on the cushions, Kate reaches back to untie her bikini top. “Bring it here.”

Drake can't help but lick his lips as he watches her breasts swing freely. With the heat of the room they were both sweating, and he felt incredibly thirsty all of a sudden. He wanted to lick the beads of moisture that he could see running down her naked skin, to bury his face in her breasts and hear her whisper his name.

Kate notices him staring and laughs, cupping her swollen breasts in her hands, “You like these huh?”

Drake nods, adjusting himself as he strained the fabric of his underwear. “Very much so.”

Giving him a sly grin, Kate massages each breast gently and rubs her thumbs over her nipples. “It's too bad these are for baby, and not for Daddy.”

Drake shakes his head and reluctantly looks away, “You're such a tease.”

“I know, but you love it. Now come closer and give the Duchess what she wants.”

Standing in front of her as he was, there's no confusing the hungry look in her eyes.

“And what does the Duchess want?” , he asks again his voice low.

Kate slides her hands up the backs of his thighs, leaning in to take his cock in her teeth and giving him a squeeze. Drake gasps in pain and surprise, “Jesus Kate, don't you ever do that again!”

Tilting her head back to look up at him, she can see that his chest is heaving and his hands are clenched in his hair. “I don't know. By your reaction I'd say you kinda liked it.”

Drake's heart was racing and when the pain had subsided he admitted to feeling a little more excited by the throbbing sensation her grip had left behind. “Ok maybe, but not so hard next time?”

Kate snaps the waistband of his underwear at his ass, “Time to get these off.”

Drake chuckles, “Ow.. okay.”

When he reaches down to take them off, Kate stops his hands. “No, let me. Better yet, keep your hands totally to yourself until I give you the magic words.”

Drake holds his hands out to the side, “And the magic words are?”

“You'll know when you hear them.”

Drake throws his head back and laughs, then covers his mouth when he realizes how loud his voice echoes through the large room.

Kate grins as she slowly lowers his underwear, “Let's see how quiet you can be too.”

Drake's hand clamps on his mouth when he feels her lips touch the end of his cock, but he can't stop the muffled groan of pleasure when she opens wider and welcomes him into her mouth.

Looking down, he watches Kate swallow him inch by inch, her lips gripping firmly each time she draws back. He wanted to sink his hands into her hair, to feel her cheeks and jaw as she worked on him. He clenched his fists at his sides, and enjoyed the sucking and licking of her mouth as she devoured him like she was dying of hunger. He's not sure what has brought on this sort of attention, but he wasn't complaining. For the last few weeks of the pregnancy there had been very little sexual interaction between them. Kate was usually too tired or not in the mood whenever he was, plus they couldn't exactly engage in their usual rigorous sort of fun.

Kate sits back, letting him go with a wet slurping pop. He's breathing heavily as she looks up. Seeing the lust in his eyes get hidden by his hair blowing into his face again makes her giggle, “Let me know when you're ready for that haircut.”

Drake shakes his head with a grin, brushing his hair back from his face and holding his hands behind his head. “Not yet.”

Kate lets out a sigh, lifting up her breasts to pillow them around his slick cock, “Good, because I'm not done either.”

Drake bites his lip at the smooth warm sensation of her tender skin swallowing him up. When her mouth closes around his tip again he closes his eyes, resisting the urge to thrust himself into her throat. “Jesus Kate, that feels so…..” he whispers hoarsely.

“Hmm..” Kate moans, sucking him deeper into her mouth. Flattening out her tongue and tickling back and forth along his length, she's encouraged by his soft groans and sighs of pleasure. “Oh God..j- ..just like that…ff-fuck yes..”

Stroking her hands slowly up and down the back of his thighs and ass, Kate can feel his legs start to shake and the muscles in his ass clench as he tries to maintain control. His rapid breathing as she picks up her pace, swallowing as much as she can with each stroke lets her know how close he is to totally losing it.

The sweat runs down over his abs as the muscles tense and relax with each gasp and groan.

(Play video below for sound)

“You..are running me ragged.” He whispers

Kate sits back on her heels, wiping her mouth with a smile. “Sorry.”

Drake shakes his head, breathing a sigh and chuckling softly “No..no, in the best possible way.”

With the sun shining down on his glistening body, his engorged cock purple and throbbing Drake feels like some wild sex God standing in the Garden of Eden. His heavily pregnant wife kneeling in worship at his feet. Damn she looked beautiful as her eyes travelled over him lustfully.

“Come here,” he whispers, reaching out to her.

She places her hand in his and he helps her up from her knees. “Oh look you figured out the magic words.” She purrs seductively as he glides his hands down her back to cup her ass.

Her lips are swollen and soft as he tips his face down to give her a kiss. Kate brushes his damp hair back out of his face as the kiss deepens and he tastes himself on the inside of her mouth. Kate sucks on his tongue and Drake draws back with a deep groan rumbling up out of his throat. “Fuck me Kate.”

Drake moves his mouth to lick and nibble at her neck, sucking at her earlobe, his hands pushing down her shorts.

“Yesss,” Kate whispers, reaching around to rake her nails across his back.

Kate shimmies her hips to make her shorts drop around her ankles, and then kicks them aside. Drake grabs her bare ass again, lifting her up on her tip toes. With his cock tucked under her full belly, he couldn't quite reach for penetration. Burying his face into her shoulder, he sucks and kisses his way up to her mouth again. Whispering against her lips he traces them with his tongue, “How are we going to do this?”

Kate reaches between them to give his cock a firm squeeze. “Get down on the floor with me, and let me get on top.”

Drake nods, kneeling down on the cushions and helping her get down with him. Digging his hands into her hair, Drake grabs a handful in his fist and pulls Kate in for a kiss. Wrapping her arms up around his neck, she presses her breasts up into his chest, grabbing a fistful of his hair too. When she pulls sharply on his hair and bites his bottom lip, Drake grunts and breaks off the kiss. Staring into eachother's eyes, they dare the other to make the next move, both breathing hard. Drake growls and buries his face into her breasts, sliding his hands down and gently tickling her sides. Kate giggles as he licks and kisses up and down the smooshed crevice between her breasts.

“Have I ever told you..*kiss*…that ..*lick*..you have..*kiss*..”

Drake grips her by the hips and pulls her onto his lap.

“The most beautiful..*long lick*..and..*kiss* ..”

He slides his hand under her belly and tucks a finger between her moist lips. “tightest little pussy I have ever seen?”

Kate moans, rocking herself against his hand, pulling his head up out of her chest to whisper in his ear. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

Drake laughs, introducing a second finger, “When I said it to Hana, she didn't believe me either.”

Kate bites the shell of his ear, “Ow! I'm kidding, I'm kidding!”

Licking it better, she whispers, “I know, I just wanted a reason to bite you.”

Spreading out his fingers, Drake kisses down her neck and across her shoulder, continuing his anatomy lesson. “Did you know that there's more to the clit than the precious little pearl you polish with your fingers?”

Kate moans hugging him around the shoulders and licking and kissing up the side of his neck, “Somebody's been reading my book on female anatomy, hasn't he?”

Drake shrugs, tucking his two fingers up inside her and continuing to stroke in and out. “Hey sometimes at night I can't sleep and need something to read. It's been very…educational.”

Kate bites her lip, loving the feeling of his rough fingers slick with her own fluids as they moved in and out. “I'll say..” she whispers hoarsely. “And what is your other hand doing while you're looking at vulva and vaginal pictures late at night while I'm fast asleep?”

“That's between me and little Drake to know, and none of your business. Speaking of which, I think my handiwork has made enough room for Daddy, if you’re ready to perform our final act?”

Kate pushes him by the shoulders and forces him back onto the cushions, “Gladly..”

Drake reaches out sideways to hold onto the cushions beneath him, watching Kate wrap her delicate hand around his cock and give him a few firm strokes before moving him into position and tucking him inside. Rocking her hips they both moan with pleasure, tipping their faces up to the sky as each rock brings them closer together.

“Yeaaaah,” Drake sighs, a grin spreading across his face..“Still the tightest.”

“Mmhm,” Kate gasps, her hands on her thighs as she moves. “But the next time we do this is gonna feel different for both of us.”

Drake looks up at Kate, watching the concentration etched on her face, “What do you mean different?”

“I'm due anytime now, and after the….birth, it'll be six weeks at least before we can …do this again. Aaaand, things aren't going to be so tight anymore.”

Drake chokes on the groan that bubbles up out of his throat, “Six weeks?!..”

“Yeppers…” Kate moves a little faster, and by Drake's body language she can tell he's trying hard not to let things end too soon. But she was getting tired and with the oppressive heat in the room she was craving a shower and a glass of something cold to drink.

Drake clutches the cushions in his sweaty grip, feeling an overwhelming tightness in his cock and balls that was begging for release. Squinting against the bright sunshine, Kate's body seems to glow as she rocks and bounces against him. Turning his head to the side he takes one more look around the tropical flora and glass walls of the sunroom and knows for a fact that he'll never be able to imagine this room innocently again. Turning back to look up at Kate, listening to her gasp and moan as she slows down her movements, wiping the sweat from her neck and down over her breasts, he loses it and bucks upward flooding her cavity with his seed. Closing his eyes, he rides out each painful spasm, and lets out a long groan of relief as his blood sings through his veins flooding him in a wave of bliss.

Both breathless and panting, Kate drops her head back and lets her shoulders sag with exhaustion. Drake sits up on his elbow, reaching up to wrap his hand around her shoulder and pull her down gently beside him. Kate sighs, stretching out her limbs as he brushes the sweaty hair out of her face and peppers her salty skin with gentle kisses.

“That was..” she whispers, reaching up to cup his cheek.

“Amazing?...” he finishes for her.

Kate nods, stopping his wandering mouth with a firm kiss.

“Yes.”

A cool breeze wafts over their hot, sweaty and spent bodies, causing Kate to shiver.

“Shower time?” she asks.

Drake kisses her back and smiles, “Yes, a shower and a haircut.”

#long post #drake x kate #trh drake #wacky drabbles #kate walker #drake walker #that was hot

[bbrandy2002]

Wacky Drabble #16: What Goes Around

Part 2 of Something Flubbed…

This is part of @emceesynonymroll #wackydrabbles

Liam x Riley

Catch up with Part 1

A/N: What started as a crack drabble about tumblr reblogs, of all things, has somehow morphed into a semi-actual story. I'm still scratching my head on how I did it and have just decided to let my Liam and Riley tell the story. Its still mostly crack yo!

Prompt: Was I not supposed to

Word count: 1322

Liam’s right eye was twitching as he shot her a look of pure hell and contention. He stammered for words, unsure of what to say or even think. The last thing he ever expected from Riley was infidelity, believing their marriage was something special, something sacred, something she respected and was devoted to as much as he was. That she had written, in a mediocre fashion, the details of a courtyard tryst with Drake, his best friend of all people, and even relished in the fact that she was doing so, was next to unforgiveable in his mind.

Riley approached her husband apprehensively, wanting to explain herself, if she even could. She clasped her hands together firmly, attempting to control the visible trembling. She knew this was bad, but, was hopeful it could be cleared up quickly. At this point, the truth had to be better than what she assumed he was thinking. Before she was able to inch too close, he held his hand up to stop her. With his mist filled eyes, the ones that were breaking her apart, he began his scathing remarks. “First off…..your friend here just sent you a message asking if some girl named Alyssa should fuck me at Drake’s funeral”.

“Aww, she’s killing Drake off”, her posture slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. Her gaze met his again; realizing he really was in no mood for banter. “Liam, It’s not what you think ”

“Secondly”, he continued with a raised voice, cutting her explanation off, “Did you fuck Drake in a courtyard in Fydelia, writing….and I quote, “his cock is much larger than Liam’s”.

Riley swallowed hard, searching for the right words, ones that were truthful, yet, not so hurtful. She inhaled deeply, preparing to come clean of her offense, "Sweetheart, its just fanfiction and all that Drake stuff was just a really, really bad bet I lost. I swear, I have never, ever been with Drake."

Liam quirked his brow, "a really bad bet, huh?"

"Yes", she answered, tugging nervously at the tie on her robe. " I bet Burnsy I knew Drake better than she knew you, and...."

"Burnsy?"

"...but, when I took Anitah's quiz..."

"Quiz?"

"I didn't know about the mojitos and bears and a bunch of other shit and then Beeps had to make..."

"Beeps?"

"those monster Drake kids that are on my blog and I had to write smut, but, I didn't know how to write smut, so I had to watch porn....oh my god, there was so much porn, and ritachacha wanted to read it and...Im no ritachacha...so I drank and cried and binged on porn and bananas for two weeks solid and I attempted to hide the post but these turmblr girls are thristy and can sniff out smut, even the bad ones and Im so sorry Liam, Im so.....so sorry", she inhaled deeply trying to catch her breath from her long winded tangent.

"I have no idea what the hell you just said", he bit back, completely dumbfounded and baffled by her explanation.

"You don't understand what I said?"

"Do you?", he yelped.

Riley watched with trepidation as Liam tossed the laptop on the bed and eased himself up from the floor, wincing at the shooting pain in his back from the fall, rubbing and massaging the sore spot above his ass.

Riley moved towards him in an attempt to help, concerned about his injuries and wellbeing, but, he jerked away, hobbling to the other side of the room, keeping his back to her.

"Liam", her voice cracking as tears of shame began to fall. "Liam, please look at me....none of that is real..none of it...it was just a dumb bet".

He shot a glance sideways, still not completely looking at her, "so you wrote that you rode Drake's...collosus dick, harder than Seattle Slew because of a bet?".

She chuckled a little, amused by her husband's analogy, before quickly composing herself, "Was I not supposed to?", she replied innocently, "it was a bet, Liam...everyone knows you can't take back a bet".

Liam spun around to face her, shocked at the words that just spewed from her lips, "I see", he nodded, tapping the front of his chin. With a clenched jaw, he breathed deeply through his nose and exhaled sharply, his eyes speaking for him, full of disdain and hurt.

He strolled forward in her direction, stopping just shy of her petite frame. He leaned over until his reddened face was directly in front of hers and just inches apart, his voice clear and firm, "Then I bet your ass won't mind sleeping elsewhere tonight".

Riley's eyes widened, her mouth falling open, unable to find words. She watched in astonishment as he reached across the bed, retrieving her pillow before holding it out to her.

"You can't be serious?"

"Oh, I'm very serious", he stated matter-of-factly, "and if you want back in this bed anytime soon....or my "not as enormous as Drake's" cock, you will delete that fucking blog".

"I don't accept that bet, Your Majesty", she seethed, tossing the pillow back on the bed, sitting herself on the edge with her legs crossed and her hands folded on them. "I'm not going anywhere and I'm not deleting that blog".

Liam perched his lips, gliding his tongue along the inside of his cheek. Realizing she called his bluff, "Fine..", he yanked his pillow up and tucked it firmly under his arm, "I'll be in my study"

"Fine", she shrugged.

"Fine!"

Liam hastily exited the bedroom, slamming the door and did what he said he would do. He opened his desk drawer searching for anything that would take away the pounding in his head and the throb in his backside. He opened the bottle of Aleve and found it empty before throwing it across the room. He kept Riley's Midol in there too for when he needed to quell her bitchiness during certain times of the month. Helps with cramps, bloating, tension, backpain, headaches, irritablity, muscle aches and water weight gain, he had all of them.

Liam unloaded three into his mouth, washing them down with the bottle of whiskey he reserved for when Drake would drop by for a quick drink. He slumped down into his desk chair, still reeling from the audacity and nerve of his wife. He wanted her to feel as bad as he did at this moment, to see how her actions made him feel. It didn't matter if it was real or not, she wrote it. He knew in his heart she and Drake wouldn't betray him that way, but, did she want to? Did she really think his dick was small and that he was an asshole?

He thought to himself as he continued sipping on his drink, how could he make her see and feel exactly the way he does? He contemplated his options for several minutes, when, like a spark igniting, it came to him....two can play this game.

Liam's lips curled into a sinister grin, his eyes lighting up, as he pulled his chair closer to his desk, turning the computer on. He downed the rest of the bottle, tossing it aside, as he cracked his knuckles, preparing to give Riley a little taste of her own medicine.

----------------------

It was early Saturday morning when the sun just started to brighten the morning sky. A bright, warm ray shining through the balcony doors and landing squarely on Riley's face, her darkened complexion glowing more than usual. She yawned and stretched, feeling content from a good nights sleep.

Reaching her arm across the bed, she felt the emptiness of where Liam usually slept. Did she care that he was pissed off with her, of course. She loved him and never wanted to hurt him, but, she wouldn't be controlled, nor, intimidated by him. She was hopeful that by him sleeping in the study last night and a little time away from each other, it would cool him down and they could discuss this rationally.

With another big stretch and yawn, she noticed her laptop still sitting in the same spot on the bed Liam had left it last night. She lunged over and scooped the device into her arms.

Plugging in the charger, she fired up the app and immediately took note of the numerous tags she had from several of her mutuals for the same story. Curious, she clicked on the link taking her to a rather peculiar title:

"Liam Fucks Hana Five Ways From Sunday With His Enormous Dick"

A new collaborative drabble by @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore and newcomer @inyourfacerileybrooks-love-liam

NSFW 🍋🍋🍋

He had bamboozled her, and in doing so, somehow convinced Bleakmore to join into his scheme; she knew it was him.

"I'm going to slaughter him...LIAM!!!!!!!!"

Wacky Drabblers and Permatags: @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @jessiembruno @sirbeepsalot @dcbbw @romanticatheart-posts @stopforamoment @katedrakeohd @pedudley @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @drakesensworld @ao719 @janezillow @eileendannie @texaskitten30 @glaimtruelovealways @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @eileendannie @hopefulmoonobject

#liam x mc #wackydrabbles #liam x riley #trr liam #trh #trh fanfic #choices trh #trh liam #trh mc #the royal romance fanfic #the royal heir #the royal romance #long post

[an-abundance-of-castiels]

Best Left Forgotten

Part 14: Please

Series Summary: You wake up in the bunker with a serious head injury and no memory of the last year or the Winchesters and find that Dean is avoiding you. You are determined to find out the truth about what happened but maybe the truth is best left forgotten.

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam, Cas

Warnings: language, Season 10 Spoilers

Word Count: 1403

General Disclaimer: I do not own the gif or any of the Supernatural properties or characters. This is a fan piece and is intended to be enjoyed only as such.

A/N: This is my first fic so any and all feedback is appreciated! A HUGE thanks to @weirdochick56 for rough beta-ing and encouraging me to pick this up again and give it another try in the first place!

Best Left Forgotten Masterlist

Missed Part 13?

**********

“She didn’t see our face! We don’t have to kill her. Please. We don’t have to.” You hear a young boy begging from down a tunnel. Heaviness presses down all over your body and you begin to feel your body. You blink your eyes open to a blurry image of your lap. Slowly, your hazy mind clears. You notice two things immediately: you’re tied in a chair and you have one hell of a headache. Whoever bashed you in the head earlier is clearly standing in front of you, so you don’t move or look up; maybe your ignorance can save you.

“You’re right Cy. We don’t have to. We get to. Here. When I get back, I want her dead.” You hear retreating footsteps and open your eyes. You frantically assess your options, a strange mix of adrenaline and hunter’s instinct giving you clarity. You have nothing in your pockets. The rope is too tight to escape. You have no hope of fighting back while tied up here. He has a gun.

Escape isn’t an option. The only thing left to do is beg.

You finally look up. The boy is lanky and nerdy looking with glasses. He’s holding a gun and looks awkward with it, like someone handed him a dead animal. He seems afraid of you and is standing terrified, looking from the gun to you.

“Please don’t hurt me,” you blurt out in desperation. You don’t wanna die like this, chained to a chair like a dog.

He stares into your eyes, conflict and fear clouding his eyes. “Ummm… maybe I can untie you? And then you run. Before he gets back, okay?” His eyes look kind, but afraid behind his glasses. He seems sincere. He glances around frantically before he steps to untie you just as a large man rounds the corner.

You recognize him. It’s that Styne man that the boys had in the dungeon. The one who killed Charlie. All fear for your life vanishes as liquid hot hatred burns through your stomach. “YOU FUCKING MURDERER! I’M GONNA-” You scream at the top of your lungs, but the words choke you when Dean rounds the corner with a gun. You feel an instinctive surge of happiness at the sight of his face. He’ll save you and kill this asshole. Your celebration is cut short when you notice the mark glowing and see the glaze over his eyes. What has he done? He’s so pale, like all the blood has been drained from his body. His body and clothes are soaked in blood. How many people has he murdered? Your stomach drops. You gag and tremble.

“Been looking for you.” Dean says glaring at the large man.

“Oh yeah? Why is that? Oh wait. You're not still sore about um, what's her name?” The Styne man waves his arm, brushing it off. Your stomach burns with anger.

“Charlie.” Dean swallows hard at her name. “Her name was Charlie.” His face falls and his eyes dim. You look down in shame. You begin to pray to Cas, something you realize you should have done earlier.

“Yeah, well. Chuckie, she got what she deserved. Wanna know how I did her? It's a kinda funny story—"

“Shut up.”

You silently pray as hard as you can. “Please hurry Cas. I think Dean can be saved. He’s covered in blood, but he’s after Charlie’s killers.”

“Straight to it, then. I respect that. You got lucky before. This time, I'm sporting some new upgrades. See my old man-”

“Your old man's dead.” Dean interrupts. “They're all dead. So, you can save me the speech on the three hearts, the two spleens, the seven nipples, for the ladies... or the fellas, I don't judge. But even with all that, you still only have one brain.” Dean smirks.

“So?”

In one swift motion, Dean draws his gun, shoots the man in the head, and turns his gun on the boy. He throws his arms up and starts to cry.

“No no no no no, don't! Dean, don't!” You scream desperately at Dean, struggling to break the rope.

Dean looks at you blankly and cocks his head, “Why not? He’s one of them.”

“No. No, I'm not! Okay, I hate my family! See, look!” The boy yanks his shirt up desperately, “No stitches! I'm not like them, I promise.”

“Oh, you are like them. There's bad in you. It's in your blood.” Dean insists matter-of-factly. “Now you can deny it and you can run from it all you want, but that bad.... will always win.” The absolute sincerity in his eyes makes your heart stop. He’s given up. How could you ever hope to save him if he’s already given up? And then it dawns on you: he’s going to kill that boy. Your Dean is about to murder an innocent kid. But maybe if you stop him, you can convince him that there’s still hope. This battle for a kid’s life suddenly becomes a battle for Dean’s soul. You continue to struggle with your ties with a renewed desperation. “He was trying to help me. He was going to let me run.” You beg with Dean as you frantically fight the ropes. You have to get to Dean so you can calm him down.

“I'll do anything you want. Okay, please. You don't need to do this” the boy begins to cry. “Please.”

Dean looks down and lowers his gun. He seems in thought. The next few seconds seem to move in slow motion. Several things happen at once:

You finally pull your hands free and yank the rope off of your torso.

Dean looks up at the boy, points his gun at him, and says, “Yeah. I do.”

You lunge at Cy. 

You and Cy come crashing to the ground into a pile of books and at first, you think you got away with it. You smile at him and he looks back at you, horrified. You’re confused, and the world is a little blurry. “What’s wrong?”

Cy points at your shoulder. You reach your left arm round to feel the back of your right shoulder. It comes back bloody. Cy’s eyes grow wide and he frantically tries to pull you toward him.

“What?” You realize your words are slurred. When you don’t budge, he begins to crawl away and trips several times.

You turn to look behind you and see Dean approaching. He seems to be in no hurry and his cold eyes hold no concern for you. It occurs to your foggy mind that this is odd as you are hurriedly bleeding out.

“Why did you do that?” He asks evenly as he points the gun in your face.

You try to slide away and fall over, groaning when you hit your shoulder. “Dean…” is all you can manage to get out.

Suddenly, you see a blur of beige as Dean is tackled out of your view. You hear struggling and your body starts to react on its own, desperately dragging you away from the fight. Something brings you to a halt.

You hear Cas start begging. “Dean stop.”

Dean stands over Cas and continues to hit him. Blood is everywhere, and Cas’s face is almost unrecognizable. You feel a surge of energy. This isn’t like last time. This time it ends in Cas’s death if you don’t do something. You start to frantically drag yourself back, not sure where the sudden energy and clarity came from. You are a couple feet away when Dean takes Cas’s angel blade out and raises it high above his head, pulling Cas up by his tie. Cas grabs Dean’s hand.

“No, Dean. Please.” Cas manages to choke out through the blood.

Dean hesitates a moment with a cold expression on his face. You reach his blood-soaked leg and grab it. “Please, Dean.”

Dean glances down at you coldly and shoves you to the side with his foot. You skid to a halt roughly into a pile of books and photos, finding that whatever propelled you forward before can’t fight the blood loss. You feel like you’re drowning. You’re swimming up and just can’t reach the surface.

Cas looks at you with guilt in his eyes. “I’m sorry I failed you.”

The last thing you see before the darkness overtakes you is Dean begin to bring the angel blade down swiftly into Cas’s chest.

Part 15

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#best left forgotten #demon dean #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #spn #spn fic #dean x reader #demon dean x reader #angst #fluff #mark of cain