#i hope you had a great end of summer / beginning of fall!

[sapphire-writes]

Thin Ice (modern!HOTD)

pairing: Aegon x Reader & Cregan Stark x Reader

summary: Aegon and you attend the annual hockey awards. The spring semester comes to a close and you and Aegon plan to say goodbye for the summer.

rating: Mature/Explicit/18+ (detailed warning below the cut)

series masterlist

previous chapter ~ Ch. 11: Worth It

warnings: language, explicit p in v, oral (fem receiving), titty slapping, finger sucking, car spicy times, mentions of recovery

word count: 3.6k

note: SUPRISE!!! hope you enjoy this finale! thank you so much for reading my story about this lovable goofball 🥹

dividers by @firefly-graphics

As long as you’d been in college, you’d always felt the spring semester went by faster than the fall semester. This year was no exception. January melted into spring and hockey season came to its inevitable end. Sara, though saddened at first, was overjoyed when she realized she could spend more time with Jace.

“No more practice to get in the way of date night,” she said triumphantly, “You and I have to double date.”

“Of course,” you’d assured her. 

Everything was going great. Classes were easier this semester with philosophy out of the way, the Knights had won their championship game. A celebration banquet was held for the team, along with an awards ceremony. Though, you were missing the majority of the awards as you were currently otherwise occupied. 

“Aegon,” you moan, right leg draped over his shoulder. 

Look, you hadn’t meant to miss the first part of the ceremony, but Aegon was insistent. You’d joined Aegon and the rest of the team for the fancy dinner, held in the ballroom of The Golden Lion Hotel which, coincidentally enough, was owned by Jason Lannister’s family. 

Suddenly, before you could find your seats, Aegon was dragging you down the hallway and into a supply closet, kneeling before you and removing your panties; throwing them to a forgotten corner. Aegon swore it wasn’t his fault, you just looked so tempting in your dress and heels.

Aegon’s head is currently buried between your plush thighs, tongue lapping your folds like your pussy is ambrosia. He murmurs a soft command “Keep quiet bunny, c’mon you can do it, that’s my good girl,” and you’re suddenly raking your nails against his scalp, soaking his mouth with your release. 

Aegon rises from his knees, his hands trailing a path up your thighs to rest on your waist. He looks too damn good in his black tux, with his forest green tie that matches the silk dress you’re wearing. His shaggy silver hair is slicked back with gel, he runs his palm over the side to make sure he didn’t mess it up too much with his antics. 

“I love it when you’re noisy,” he murmurs, kissing you passionately, beginning to grope your ass while grinding against you.

Your eyes roll back into your skull as he trailed kisses down your neck. He’s so hard, you can feel him pressing against your legs-

“We have to go, they’ll be looking for you-” your concerns are silenced by another kiss.

“I’ll be quick,” Aegon promises, kissing your lips gently.

“You’re never quick-”

“And you love it every time-”

“Seriously,” you tell him, fisting his hair and pulling his face away from you, “Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes! I’m doing you a favor, Mr. Player of the Year.”

“You don’t know that,” he mumbles, a blush blooming on the apples of his cheeks, “I’m not that good-”

“Stop it,” you tell him, “You are. You’re going to win. C’mon.”

You adjust your dress back over your ass, smoothing the silk fabric over your thighs. As you exit the closet Aegon smacks your ass with the palm of his hand- the very reason you’d ended up in there in the first place. 

You glance back at him, a playful disapproving smile on your face. His eyes are glued to your ass, as he takes his lower lip between his teeth.

“How’d I get so lucky?” he murmurs, reaching for you again.

You move away, just out of reach of his grabbing hands, ushering him down the hallway and back into the ballroom. It’s been decorated for the occasion, with lots of streamers and centerpieces in the colors of KLU. You catch Cregan’s eye, he’s sitting next to Jace, and flashes him a small smile.

He returns it, smiling politely before turning to say something to Aly Blackwood. You’d heard through the grapevine they’d reconnected recently at Riverrun Cafe. Judging by Aly’s smile, it was going well between them. You can’t help but feel a warm feeling spreading in your chest as you watch them. Cregan deserves to be happy, he’s a great guy. 

You slide into the seat next to Sara. She raises her eyebrows at you and Aegon before mouthing ‘quickie?’ You quickly shake your head no, but Aegon nods, a smug smile plastered on his face. Sara lets out a snort and you jab Aegon in the ribs with your elbow. Jace turns to Sara, frowning at the lack of context as to why his girlfriend is in stitches. 

“Alright, listen up,” Coach Mormont says, clearing his throat, “Next is player of the year.”

You notice Aegon shift in his seat, his goofy attitude switching to one more anxious. He begins picking at his cuticles and you reach for him, taking his hand in yours to distract him.

“This player is integral to our team. He’s a fighter, always has been, but always shows up when the team needs him. I’m proud of how far he’s come, how he’s handled challenges on and off the ice,” Coach Mormont pauses, “And I’m proud to announce that the Player of the Year is our center, Aegon Targaryen!”

The hall erupts in cheers, even Cregan is clapping and nodding in agreement as Aegon rises on shaky legs to accept his award. You can’t stop the tears that blur your vision as you clap for him. Sara squeezes your shoulder, a smile plastered on her face.

Aegon makes his way to the podium, hugging Coach Mormont and taking the trophy before standing in front of the mic.

“Shit I-sorry I shouldn’t swear but…..shit,” he says with a breathless laugh. Aegon pauses for a moment, just gazing down at the trophy in his hands.

He looks up, meeting your eyes across the room and smiling.

“I really didn’t think this would happen,” Aegon begins, “My freshman year was pretty rough. I couldn’t have gotten the help I needed without the guys on this team.”

Aegon pauses, voice cracking with emotion.

“I’m proud to say I’m almost two years sober, and hockey…it means everything to me,” he says, wiping his eyes, “And I want to thank my siblings, the guys again of course, and my girlfriend.”

Your heart stops. 

“I couldn’t have made it through this year without her. I wouldn’t be right here, without her. So, thank you. Thank you so much,” he says smiling.

The crowd erupts into cheers as Aegon leaves the stage. You stand to greet him, wrapping your arms around him in a fierce hug. 

“Holy shit,” Aegon says, holding the trophy in his hands. 

He hasn’t stopped grinning since accepting it onstage. The dinner had long ended and you’d been seated in his car for the past few minutes. Jace and Sara had driven separately and had already headed back to the hockey house for the celebratory after-party. 

“I’m so proud of you, Egg,” you tell him, for the millionth time. You’ll probably never stop reminding him. 

“I just…” he trails off for a moment, eyes becoming glassy with tears, “I don’t know. I was never the make mom and dad proud kid, you know?”

Your expression softens, and you can feel your throat begin to constrict, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. 

“But I’ve been really trying, you know? It’s nice…for someone to notice,” he finishes, with a sniffle.

You reach for his free hand and he looks up at you, watery violet eyes meeting yours. 

“You are amazing, Aegon Targaryen,” you tell him, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he says, a tear falling down his cheek, “I should probably put this down before driving, huh?”

You release a breathy chuckle.

“Yeah I think that’s wise,” you tell him, “We can buckle it in the back seat, like a child?”

“Our child,” Aegon says, his tone teasing, “What a beautiful baby.”

You laugh, opening the passenger side and getting out. Aegon slips out of the driver’s seat and opens the back door of his car. He glances at you from across the seat, smiling suggestively.

“On second thought…” he says, placing the award on the driver’s seat and slipping in the back, “Get in, bunny.”

Your eyes widen, sensing where this is going.

“Egg, no way-”

“C’mon we’ll be quick,” he says pouting, “It’s a celebration!”

“What if someone sees?” you whisper, but slip into the backseat all the same. You close the door behind you and Aegon grins, looping an arm around your waist.

“Everyone’s gone,” he murmurs, kissing your lips softly, “No one left but us.”

You melt into him, as you always do. He seems to have that effect. Aegon keeps one arm around your waist, the other wraps itself around your neck, his thumb smoothing the outline of your jaw. Your tongue seeks out his metal tongue ring as you kiss, and you arch your back to push yourself closer to him. 

“I fucking love you,” he groans, breaking away from kissing you for just a moment.

“Egg, I love you so much,” you whine, “Please, please.”

“What do you need, pretty girl?” he asks, whimpering as you tug harshly on his silver locks. 

“Just you, always you,” you tell him, burying your face in the crook between his neck and shoulder. 

Aegon quickly unfastens his belt, freeing his hardened cock. He strokes himself with his hand, pausing to swipe his thumb over the tip, wiping away a bead of precum. You get on your knees, preparing to straddle him when he stops you. You frown, confused, which causes Aegon to chuckle.

“Backwards, baby, c’mere,” he says, motioning so you straddle him, facing away from him.

Aegon’s hands move to push your dress up your thighs and he chuckles, feeling the wetness there. He playfully frowns at you, his lower lip jutting out in a dramatic pout.

“What happened to your panties?” he questions, sliding a finger through your dripping folds.

“Probably still in that closet,” you admit, breathing heavily with anticipation as you hover over his cock. 

You were in such a rush to get back to the table, you’d forgotten to put them back on. You can feel the head of Aegon’s thick cock prodding at your entrance and you sink down on top of him. The angle is new, and you feel every inch deep in your abdomen as he bottoms out. Your mouth falls open, a moan spilling from your lips.

“Fuck,” Aegon murmurs, lifting his hips to thrust into you, “Gods this fucking pussy, feels so good wrapped around my cock baby.”

“Oh fuck,” you whimper, lifting your hips and bringing them back down, matching Aegon’s thrusts, “Gods you’re so big.”

Aegon brings his hand to your neck, wrapping it lightly around your throat, squeezing just enough for there to be a pleasurable lack of oxygen. Your head is spinning as he continues sliding his cock in and out, the wet sounds of your soaked pussy filling the car. Through your lashes, you can see steam begin to cloud the windows.

Aegon takes his free hand to your chest, freeing your breasts from the top of your dress. It didn’t make sense to wear a bra, the back was too revealing. You thrash against him as he removes his hand from your neck, pressing his fingers against your lips. 

“Open up,” he murmurs, placing a hot kiss against your neck.

You do as he says, allowing him to push three fingers into your eager mouth. You suck the digits greedily, the cool metal of his rings kissing your lips as you do so. Aegon palms your breast with his other hand, tweaking your pebbled nipples before lightly slapping them. You whimper against his fingers, but they keep you quiet.

“So pretty like this baby,” he coos as you swirl your hips around him.

It’s perfect, his cock pulsating inside of you, rubbing against your sweet spot with every swivel of your hips. Not enough to get you off, just leave you on the edge of pleasure, your sanity slipping with every slap he delivers to your heaving breasts. 

You gaze at him with pleading eyes, and Aegon grins wolfishly. He pulls his fingers from your mouth, trailing them between the valley of your breasts, and down your stomach; knowing exactly what you need. 

His hand comes in contact with your clit, and with his well-lubricated fingers, he begins rubbing circles around the sensitive little button. Pleasure courses through your veins, prickling your nerves like lightning and he squeezes your breast harshly. 

“Aegon, oh fuck Aegon,” you moan, head dropping back onto his shoulder as your legs begin to shake.

“Just like that bunny, that’s a good girl,” Aegon encourages as you desperately ride his cock, chasing your release. 

It builds and builds before you finish with a cry, walls fluttering around his thick cock. Aegon moans as you cum, bringing both hands to squeeze your breasts as he finds his own release, deep within your pussy. 

You take a moment to regain your breathing and Aegon reaches out drawing a smiling face on the fogged window. 

“Girlfriend,” he says, phrasing it like a question, “I hope you don’t mind that I called you that during my speech.”

You rise from his softening cock, reaching over his lap to write on the window. 

“Of course, I didn’t,” you murmur, “I want you to be my boyfriend, Egg.” You finish your drawing. 

Another smiley face, right next to his. 

Aegon presses a kiss to your cheek, and you make yourself presentable before driving to meet your friends. 

Finals are a blur, and to your dismay, Aegon finishes his before you finish yours. 

“It should be illegal for this to happen,” you argue, as Aegon finishes putting his things in Criston Cole’s car. 

Cole has yet to return from helping Helaena with her luggage. Aegon likes to joke that she’s a princess and has 7 bags. Finals take place on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday. Aegon had his last final this morning, along with Helaena and Aemond. 

Thus, the siblings were being packed up and shipped back to their hometown, while you were stuck here until Monday. At least Sara, Baela, and Rhaena were in the same boat, but still. You were not ready to say goodbye to your boyfriend. 

“Bunny,” Egg says, pulling you towards him, wrapping you in a warm hug, and placing a kiss on top of your head.

“You really have to leave now?” you murmur against his chest as you bring your hands around his back.

Maybe if you hold on tight enough, he won’t go. You can feel his chest shake as he chuckles. 

“You know how my mom is,” Aegon says with a sigh, “But, she was pretty cool about you coming on the Summer Isles trip.”

“I can’t wait,” you tell him, honestly.

“Two weeks,” Aegon says, pursing his lips and nodding, “We can survive two weeks.”

You grab his cheeks, connecting your lips once more.

“Gross!” Helaena calls, appearing from the direction of her dorm carrying a duffle bag. 

You pull away from Aegon, but Helaena only smirks.

“Is this going to happen the entire time in the Summer Isles?” Helaena teases. 

Aemond walks up beside her, taking her bag.

“Gods I hope not,” he grumbles, taking Hel’s bag to the car. 

Criston appears a moment later, pushing a luggage cart full of Helaena’s suitcases. 

“That’s everything,” he assures and you quickly count 9 bags on the cart. 

Helaena embraces you, pulling you against her tightly.

“Good luck on your finals,” she says, “You’ll do amazing. And I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll miss you Hel,” you tell her, squeezing her close.

“2 weeks, no biggie,” Helaena says, pulling away, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” you tell her, “Drive safe!”

“Criston will!” she confirms, sliding into the back of the car. 

You turn back to Aegon once more, your heart heavy. Goodbyes are never easy, no matter what.

“I love you,” you tell him, trying to fight the tears that form in your eyes. 

“I love you too,” he says, giving you a final kiss.

You wave to Aegon and Helaena, watching as their car disappears. 

“Okay enough of that!” Sara’s voice says before you feel her arms on your shoulders, dragging you away, “I’m starving, and besides! What about me? What am I supposed to do without you?”

Sara links her arms through yours, starting to walk to the main dining hall. You wave, spotting Baela and Rhaena headed toward you from the opposite side of the main quad. The sun is setting, casting a golden haze over campus. The flowers are in full bloom and the air has a lovely chill to it this late in the day. 

“Wither and die?” you sarcastically suggest.

“So not funny,” she says, shaking her head, “And you are so visiting Winterfell this year, I’m not driving all the way south for your ass-”

“Okay, you drove one-time last summer-”

“I haven’t recovered,” she interrupts, “Plus, I need to show you my hometown! And we’re going to Facetime every-”

“Night,” Baela says, joining you, with Rhaena beside her, “At 7 pm sharp, but you know Rhaena’s gonna hang up promptly at 9 for her mandatory 8 hours.”

“Some people care about their routines, and don’t want to waste their summer!” Rhaena interjects.

“I’m not wasting anything! I have an internship,” Baela insists.

“How long is this one going to last?” Sara snickers.

“Shut up,” Baela scowls, “Are you going to visit Jace at all?”

“Of course, I can’t survive without his big co-”

“Sara!” the three of you scold in unison causing her to snicker.

“We’ve become too comfortable here,” you say laughing as you enter the main campus dining hall.

It’s relatively quiet, some students cramming in some last-minute studying while scarfing down various fried food options. It makes you momentarily reminisce about when you met your best friends freshman year. You don’t know what you would have done without them.

“One more year,” Rhaena says, her expression wistful.

“One more year of KLU,” Baela says with a sigh, “I can’t believe we’re seniors now.”

“Don’t remind me,” you tell them. You can’t imagine college ending. 

Sara smiles knowingly.

“One more hockey season,” she says with a smirk.

Your cheeks flush at the thought of spending your senior year with Aegon. At his games, at the hockey house, in the library. No scheming this year, just you and him. You can’t think of anything better. 

“Dude guess what?” Sara says suddenly with a gasp, “I have to take Intro to Philosophy.”

“I thought you got out of that?” Baela asked with a frown.

“Nope, you’ll tutor me, right Y/N?” Sara says, pouting, “Please please please!”

“We’ll see,” you tell her with a chuckle, “I don’t know if I’m the best tutor.”

“Egg passed!”

“That was special circumstances!” you argue, grabbing a table. 

Sara slumps into the seat across from you, Baela sits beside you and Rhaena squeezes behind Sara. 

“I’ll ask you again in the fall,” Sara says with a smirk, “You’ll be with Egg all loved up and will have to say yes.”

Just as she mentions his name, your phone buzzes. You glance at it, seeing Aegon calling you. You rise from your seat. 

“One sec,” you tell your friends and they roll their eyes. 

You can tell they don’t mean it though, they’re only teasing you. They were beyond happy for you and Aegon. You walk out of the dining hall before answering. 

“Hey you,” you say, unable to stop your smile, “You miss me already?”

You push through the glass door, the warm spring evening air washing over you. 

“You could say that,” Aegon says, and you can practically hear his grin through the phone.

You laugh, before glancing up and meeting a pair of violet eyes. 

It’s Aegon. 

You’re still holding your phone against your ear as Aegon hangs up, sliding his own phone into his pocket. And even though it’s been maybe 20 minutes since you’d last seen him, you throw yourself into his arms, kissing him ferociously. 

Aegon chuckles, lifting you off the ground and spinning in a circle.

“What are you doing here?” you manage through a giggle as he plants you back on the ground, “Your mom, you said-”

“I told her I had a final Monday,” Aegon says, grinning ear to ear, “My car’s still here, I’m driving down after.” 

He holds your hands in his, his thumbs caressing yours. 

“I was thinking maybe, you could come home with me? You know Helaena misses you and Daeron seemed to like you and Aemond is-” You cut him off with a kiss.

Aegon came back for you. He’s staying, for you.

From the beginning, Aegon’s always made it clear. Even when you didn’t understand. Even when you weren’t ready to admit it. Even when you were scared.

It’s always been you.

You pull away from him, smiling ear to ear. In the light of the setting sun, he’s so beautiful. And he’s all yours. And you’re his. 

“C’mon,” you tell him, grabbing his hand, “Sara is taking philosophy next term and needs pointers.”

Aegon groans, but a smile plays on his lips as you drag him back towards the dining hall. You all sit together in the dining hall, staying long after you finish eating; laughing, nearly crying, and just talking the entire time. The smile never leaves Aegon’s face.

He can’t help it, it’s the happiest he’s been in what feels like forever.

note: and that's a WRAP! thank you so so much for supporting me through this series! I love each and every one of you, and will miss my KLU babies!! Until next time, ilysm ~ Jo

Thin Ice Tag List:

@padfooteyes, @nina2697, @julieeba, @darkenchantress, @heavenly1927, @fan-goddess, @possiblyafangirl, @n4tforlife, @serving-targaryen-realness, @bubblyabs, @cicaspair418, @jamespotterismydaddy, @tssf-imagines, @platonichug, @tosiaf, @skikikikiikhhjuuh, @rwdkarla, @partypoison00 @moira-strangle-me-please @clairacassidy, @sh4dowrav3n, @okfashionista, @kravitzwhore, @queenofshinigamis, @misspendragon, @marytargaryen, @dope-trope-105, @imarimon, @whoisalexa, @oneeyedvisenya, @valeskafics, @aemondsmoon, @doublesparrows, @namelesslosers, @fidelias @imarimon @trifoliumviridi, @bellstwd @elle4404 @schmexie @sahvlren @clairepotter, @m1ndbrand @shessthunderstoms

bold means I could not tag for some reason!

#aegon targaryen imagine #aegon targaryen x you #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon x reader #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x you #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii targaryen x you #hotd au #hotd x reader #hotd aegon #house of the dragon #house targaryen #aemond targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #cregan stark #cregan x y/n #cregan x you #cregan stark x y/n #cregan stark x reader #cregan stark x you #hockey!au #modern!aegon x reader #modern!aegon targaryen #modern!hotd #hotd modern au #modern au #aegon ii x reader

[starlingflight]

loml

Written for @corneliaavenue-ao3 TTPD Several Sunlit Daylights challenge.

Read on AO3 or below:

I. lesson of my life

Every illusion Ginny has ever had is shattered over the course of a single night. 

She doesn't go into the chamber willingly. She claws, and scratches and fights against Tom's commands with all her might. She cries, and she struggles, but in the end it makes no difference. She isn't strong enough. As the darkness swallows her up, her final childish hope is for a rescue she knows isn't coming. 

When she opens her eyes again it doesn't feel like a miracle. The cold from the stone floor has seeped through her skin, a chill has settled deep in her bones and she knows, with absolute certainty, it will never fully go away. 

Of course Harry is there, holding a mighty sword, a dead monster behind him. The very image of the conquering hero she's always fantasised about, but this isn't like one of Ginny's fantasies. He's covered in blood, and his eyes are wide with the same terror that's taken root deep within her soul. There's no triumph in this moment, only horror. 

This isn't a dream. It's a nightmare. One that Ginny won't fully wake up from for a very long time. 

She learns many lessons that night, but the most important one will come later. After she's spent weeks, months, years putting herself back together, because Harry might have rescued her from the chamber, but, as Ginny will come to realise, the only person who can really save you is yourself.

II. light of my life

Harry's never known a darkness like this. It starts when he watches Sirius fall through the veil, tiny tendrils of black slowly leaking out from his heart, unfurling with increasing urgency until he's overwhelmed by a cold, empty abyss that he's sure nothing will ever penetrate again. How can it when Sirius is never coming back? 

He doesn't even notice the first ray of light. It happens so quickly. He's in the hospital wing, trying very hard to let Hermione's commentary on the latest news from The Prophet distract him from the aching chasm in his chest, and the unbearable weight of the prophecy, when it happens. 

Luna says something completely ridiculous about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks – whatever they are – Harry can feel Hermione's exasperation from across the small gap that separates her bed from Ron's. Ginny's chocolate eyes meet his, and something happens that he'd assumed would never happen again. 

Harry smiles. 

It's fleeting, lasting less than a second.  There's very little time to dwell on it before they're looking away from one another, and the grief washes over him again, a tidal wave that steals the air from his lungs. 

That's just the beginning though… or maybe the beginning had been years ago. Maybe the blush he'd once thought of as the setting sun had actually been the opposite; Ginny's light rising, her warm, rosy glow beginning its ascent into his life. 

She continues to rise that summer, forcing the darkness back with her sheer brightness. Her smile turns black to grey; her laugh is powder pinks and bright oranges; the jokes she coaxes from him are pure, cloudless blue. 

When she runs at him across the common room months later, she's blazing, burning red. When she reaches him, when Harry finally kisses Ginny, the sun reaches its apex and his whole life is awash with bright, brilliant gold. 

For a few shining weeks there are only sunlit days. 

III. loss of my life

Fittingly, they're at a funeral when it happens. Ginny always knew he had great comedic timing. She's not laughing, however, as Harry lays out all his stupid, noble reasons why they can't be together. She's not crying either, though; that feels like a small mercy. The only one she's going to get for a while. 

She does cry when she finally makes it home. It's silly, she knows. Silly, foolish, naive Ginny Weasley, a familiar, cold voice whispers through her mind. For once, she doesn't try to argue with it, but she doesn't try to stop either. 

Instead, she buries her face into her pillow and lets herself sob until her eyes run dry. Her tears aren't just for her broken heart, but for everything Ginny's already had to sacrifice; her childhood, her innocence. 

It isn't until weeks later that she realises the true magnitude of what she stands to lose. 

“And then what does she think's going to happen? Someone else will kill off Voldemort while she's holding us here making vol-au-vents?” 

The fork Ginny is holding almost slips from her grasp. Her heart falters in her chest. Harry playing his flippant comment off a joke does nothing to return it to a steady rhythm. 

It plays round and round in her mind that night. Her knuckles are ghostly white where they grip her bedsheet. Vaguely, she'd known what he'd planned to do, but vague notions and knowing with absolute certainty are two very different things. The task Harry brought up so nonchalantly in the kitchen is nothing short of a suicide mission. It hits Ginny with the force of a barrage of stunning spells, knocking the air from her lungs; Harry might not come back to her. 

Two days later, when she kisses him in her bedroom, it doesn't feel like she's saying happy birthday, it feels like she's saying goodbye.

When Harry follows Ron out of her bedroom door, he takes a piece of Ginny with him, one she prays she hasn't lost forever. 

IV. longing of my life

She haunts him like a ghost. What was once screaming colour and pure unfiltered brightness is now just a memory, a pale imitation permanently stuck on repeat in his mind. 

Harry moves stoically from one hiding place to another and, though they're separated by miles, Ginny follows him to every single one. 

He can hear her laugh in the wind that shakes the canvas sides of the tent. He can see her smile in the sunlight that penetrates the thick canopy of the forests they move between. At night, when he closes his eyes, he can almost pretend the sheet brushing against his skin is her fingertips. 

It's worse when he has the locket on. Then, he's tormented with visions like the one he'd imagined on his birthday; of her moving on. Finding someone else. Living a life that can never be his. 

Horcrux or no, he can't stop himself thinking about her. Aching for her. Longing for her. 

He clings to memories of Ginny like scraps of driftwood, the only thing keeping Harry afloat when he's been set adrift. 

V. lament of my life

It's like the chamber all over again. Ginny's whole world is flipped upside down in the space of a single night. 

She doesn't see Fred go. She doesn't know the last time she sees her big brother that it's the last time.  

“Take care of yourself,” he'd shouted over his shoulder as Ginny had gone hurtling down a corridor in pursuit of a Death Eater.

“Don't I always?’ she'd called back. 

What if she'd told him to do the same? Would he have listened? Would he still be there? 

There's very little time to dwell on such questions in the middle of a battle.  Especially not when every passing second brings another devastating loss. 

Lupin. Tonks. Colin. 

Ginny's heart shatters into a million little pieces until it doesn't exist at all. Or so she thinks, until she sees Harry's body cradled in Hagrid’s arms. 

Then she knows she still has a heart, because it's in unbearable agony. She doubles over from the pain of it. His name escapes her lips on a scream, as though she might be able to call him back to life through sheer desperation. 

Tom Riddle talks; for the second time in Ginny's life, she's unable to hear him, but this isn't like the Chamber at all. This time Ginny wishes she was dead. 

When the battle resumes, she jumps straight into it with wild abandon. Ginny's lamentation is not filled with tears, or wailing. It's fire and rage for everything that's been taken from her. Tom Riddle already stole her past. Now he's taken her future. She will take everything she can from him, or die trying. 

VI. lowest of my life

He's never truly let himself imagine what it might be like to actually defeat Voldemort. If he had, Harry doubts he would have pictured it like this. 

If it's a win, why is there so much loss? 

He doesn't know whether the grief or the hope is more overwhelming. They mingle together, like waves in the ocean, swelling and breaking, threatening to pull Harry under. 

He can feel it crash over him as he stands in the great hall the day after the battle. The bodies are still there; all the people who don't get the second chance Harry does are laid out in front of him. Lifeless eyes staring, unseeing, up at the enchanted ceiling. 

The guilt and the pain sweep through him like ice water, filling his lungs; rising up in Harry's throat until there's no possible room for air. He takes a step back, desperate to flee somewhere he can sink down into the cold, lonely depths. 

Before he can, a hand, small and warm, slips into his, pulling Harry back to the surface. He releases one, long, deep breath before looking at her. 

Ginny's attempt at a smile is tinged with sadness, sunlight peeking through dark grey clouds. 

Only hours ago, he'd contemplated all the things he needed to say to her, but now no words are exchanged at all.  Only a look. It's all they need. All they've ever needed. Everything has changed. But he's still Harry, and she's still Ginny. 

Instinctively his arm comes around her. Ginny buries her face in his chest, sagging slightly against him, as though she was waiting for this moment to let herself rest. Like she needs him as much as he needs her. 

Harry's head rests against hers, the floral scent of her shampoo is faint, lingering beneath everything that's happened. It makes his heart falter anyway. He holds her tightly to him, something he never thought he'd get the chance to do again.  As he's come to expect, time seems to stop for her. They stay like that for what might only be seconds, or possibly an entire lifetime passes. 

Eventually, Ginny pulls out of his grasp. It takes less than a second for her hand to find his again, fingers entwining. She pulls gently, silently commanding him to follow her. Harry almost asks where they're going, but he doesn't really need to. He's free to go wherever he pleases now. He'll follow her anywhere. 

Ginny looks up at him as they walk towards the double doors. He can still see the embers of her blazing light smouldering in the dark depths of her eyes. He was right, there will be hours, days, and years in which to talk, but he doesn't need her to say a word now to know where she's taking him. He lets her pull him forward, lets her light guide him to a future he's still not sure he deserves to have. 

VII. loser of my life

For a while, Ginny thinks she'll never recover from the loss, from the grief and the heartache. It's not the first time she's felt this way, but this time she doesn't have to face it alone. Once she has Harry back, he doesn't leave her side again. 

They fall back together naturally. They stitch themselves back together slowly until one day, years later, the sun is blazing brightly in the sky, the pleasant summer breeze is ruffling the grass beneath her feet, and Ginny feels whole again. 

“Ready?” Her father asks, holding out his arm out to her. 

“Ready,” Ginny agrees, threading her hand through the crook of his elbow. Holding her colourful bouquet of wildflowers in front of her with her free hand. 

There have been times, in her darkest moments, when she wished she was someone else. A girl who hasn't dwelt in a darkness that most people don't ever see even in their worst nightmares; a witch who hasn't looked into the eyes of evil and refused to bend, refused to break; a woman who hasn't lost things that can never ever be replaced. 

Now, as soft music begins to swell in the summer air, and her gaze locks on Harry, waiting for her at the end of the makeshift aisle formed by the rows of chairs that have been put out in her parent's orchard, Ginny doesn't regret any of it. Everything she's lost is a step she's taken towards this. 

She can feel dozens of heads turn towards her, but Ginny only has eyes for Harry, and he, it appears, only has eyes for her. His smile makes the sun look dim in comparison. Still, the corner of his mouth trembles; even from a distance, Ginny can see emotion well up behind his glasses. 

‘Don't you dare,' she mouths, feeling her throat tighten as she does. Her arm stretches out, lifting her bouquet like it's a wand, miming hexing him. She's closer now. She can hear the tremor in his laugh as he puts his arms up in mock surrender. 

It's too late; the laughter she's coaxed from him doesn't stop the tear that slips down his cheek. Of course, one of her own escapes only a half a second later. 

“We look like such losers,” Ginny informs him, shaking her head, as her fingers slip from her father's arm into Harry's awaiting hand. 

“Yeah,” Harry agrees, quietly enough for only her to hear. He's still smiling as another tear slides unconcernedly down his face. His free hand reaches up, his thumb swipes away the ones that are currently leaking traitorously from Ginny's eyes. “But you're my loser.” 

It takes her a moment to regain her breath. A fleeting second in which she can't quite believe they're here; that they made it. Then she smiles even wider than before. “Not officially – not until we get through this ceremony.” 

Harry's gaze holds hers. Ginny almost forgets they have an audience. The world reduces down to just the two of them, grinning madly at one another. Harry's fingers squeeze her hand. “We'd best get on with it then.

VIII. legacy of my life

Books are filled with what many consider to be his finest achievements. Tales of thrilling battles, speculations on unsurvivable curses, and records of great victories are inked across the pages of history. 

As are the many titles thrust upon Harry; The  Boy Who Lived, Chosen One, Saviour.  To him, they're little more than noise, assumptions from people who don't really know him, and never will.

When he slips the wedding ring onto Ginny's finger, Harry gets the first title he's ever chosen for himself: husband. Her husband. 

Not long after, he gains another one, this one unplanned, but no less momentous. James, tiny, and so precious, is placed into his arms, and Harry becomes a father. 

His real legacy begins there. It's not just his, it's hers too. Their legacy. 

It's recorded in baby books and photo albums rather than history books. It's memorialised in finger paintings and handmade Christmas ornaments (made under Ginny's expert supervision) instead of plaques and statues. It's hundreds of little memories of their family that will never see the inside of a newspaper, but that doesn't make them any less noteworthy, not to Harry, who'd never dared to imagine that this life could be his one day. 

IX. love of my life

“Dinner!” Her mother calls from the back door of The Burrow, her voice ringing out across the garden. 

The sun is setting, dipping below the topmost branches of the orchard. The sky is a tapestry of pinks, purples and golds, stretching out for miles above them. 

“What do you think?” Ginny asks as her feet meet the ground, dismounting from her broom. “Could I make it as a pro?” 

Harry lands beside her. His eyes sweep appraisingly over her. Ginny's stomach swoops like she's still in the air. “I don't know,” he says thoughtfully. “The League is brutal. It requires rigorous training.” 

Ginny shrugs unconcernedly, hoisting her broom onto her shoulder as she does. “Do you know any Quidditch captains who might be interested in helping me with such an undertaking?” 

“I know one who might be able to make some time for you this summer,” Harry says as he falls into step beside her. He inclines his head towards her broom.“I can take it for you?”

Ginny's eyes narrow, prepared to tell him she's perfectly capable of carrying her own broom, but, when she turns, the way he's looking at her makes her heart race, and the words die on her tongue. without her permission, her expression transforms into a grin. “Very chivalrous of you.” 

A weight is lifted from her as Harry settles her broom beside his on his shoulder. “That's kind of what I'm known for.” 

“Only ‘kind of’?” Ginny's eyes wander to the quickly darkening sky above them as she laughs. “In that case, I'll be sure to let people know of this latest act of heroism – personally, I don't think you get enough attention.” 

“Well, if that's how you feel, you could always give me more.” 

Ginny stops midstep. Her head turns sharply back to Harry. She should keep walking, the words that are on the tip of her tongue will lead to something that neither of them planned for on this particular summer evening. 

Harry's eyebrows rise upwards; even in the dusk, Ginny can see the challenge sparking in his eyes. Unbidden, she takes a step towards him. “Are you flirting with me, Potter?” 

He doesn't back down, but he doesn't make a move towards her either. The brooms he's holding clatter together as he shrugs with just a bit too much tension in his shoulders to be truly nonchalant. “I might be.” 

Ginny's blood thrums in her veins as she takes another step towards him. “Need I remind you that I'm spoken for?” 

“How could I forget?” Harry's head lowers despite her reminder, until he's so close Ginny can see the flecks of gold in his green eyes. “I suppose he's deeply in love with you?” 

“Yes,” she nods with absolute certainty. “And I feel the same about him.” 

Harry's head dips lower, the determination in his eyes making his intention clear. Ginny rises on her tiptoes, unable to fight the pull that always inevitably beckons her to him. 

Barely an inch of space remains between them. Her heart flutters wildly– 

“Oi!” The loud, obnoxious shout comes from the far end of the orchard, making Ginny jump. She turns towards it and finds a lanky figure glaring at them from where he leans against the fence. “When you're done being disgusting, Nanna says to hurry up – dinner’s ready and the rest of us aren't allowed to start without you.” 

James doesn't wait for a response before turning on his heel and marching back towards the house. 

Ginny rolls her eyes at her son's retreating back. Her hand slips into Harry's, the most contact they're getting, at least until after dinner. “Remind me again why we had children?” 

Harry sighs, allowing her to lead him towards the gate James has just departed from. “You said they'd be cute.” 

“Well, they used to be,” she says fairly as she pushes the gate open with her free hand. “I wasn't thinking as far as them becoming teenagers.” 

Harry nods seriously. “Really, who could've predicted such an unforeseeable outcome.” 

Ginny looks up at him as he follows her through the gate. Brown eyes meet green through the burgeoning twilight. Two identical smiles bloom like flowers in spring. 

“Certainly not you, judging by your appalling Divination grades.” 

#several sunlit daylights #hinny #harry x ginny #TTPD

[chericarlisle]

you come home for summer break from college and meet your dad’s best friend carlisle cullen for the first time at family dinner and mans is 🤤🥵😍

Just a Summer Thing || c.c

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: carlisle cullen x human female reader

(𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.6k

𝐚/𝐧: i haven’t been on tumblr in about two years. y’all i literally couldn’t even navigate this new format of the app, so needless to say my writing is rusty and my formatting is shit. i’ve literally never seen some of these requests in my inbox until now i’m so sorry 😭

for the sake of this story we are just gonna pretend that carlisle doesn’t light up like a bottle of glitter in the sun.

For many, the most exciting part of graduating is the freedom that comes with the college experience; however, after almost a year of no privacy and very loud neighbors, you begin to miss home. Suddenly graduating high school is not the most exciting part, but rather it is coming back home from college for summer break. 

Finals week had kicked everyone’s asses and after celebrating such a survival, many college students- yourself included- eagerly packed up their 290 sq ft. rooms to return to much larger ones. 

You and your roommate, Mel, had helped each other pack up the first day that finals were over. Mel had become a pretty good friend over the past year, but she unfortunately had to live on the opposite coast. It seemed that things always worked out that way for you for just about anything. 

Your parents had finally divorced when you were sixteen which sent one parent to the west coast and the other to the east. The same could be said about a package of jeans that you had ordered; each one coincidentally ended up on the opposite sides of the United States. 

Since your mother was taking a sojourn around the world, you were going to stay with your dad in Forks for the summer. He had recently moved to the new city after receiving a job offer from the city’s barren hospital. The job came with great pay, but most importantly a wonderful modernist house resting on the eaves of the forest. The exact words being from the realtor who had so eagerly sold your father on the house. Despite the fact that the house was a lavish build in the middle of nowhere, it was only fair that your father finally lived happily. The man had been living in an unhappy marriage for so many years; it was something that you all could attest to. 

You had stayed at his house a few times before in the fall and winter, yet you hoped that summer would vanish the melancholy atmosphere of Forks. If it wasn’t raining, then it was snowing and vice versa. It seemed that there was always something falling from the sky in Forks almost year-round. 

Your hopes for a glowing summer at your father’s were assured when you arrived at his house surrounded by not a single cloud. It was about a six hour drive before you arrived in the town, and you noticed that the sun does in fact shine in Forks after all. 

“(Y/n), you made it!” Your father came running out of the front door, although it was impossible to not notice him since more than half his house was made of glass. 

You put the car in park and stepped out to meet the man in an embrace. His usual cologne was overpowered by the smell of the hospital disinfectant that lingered on his white lab coat. “Dad! It’s been too long.” 

He nodded in agreement before offering to help you unload your car. The upside of living in a dorm room that was about the size of a large bathroom is that one can’t accumulate too many boxes. You popped the trunk to reveal about six medium sized boxes that consisted simply of clothes and dorm room decor. 

Your dad chuckled at your down sizing, “That’s all you got, kiddo? Wow, college really has changed you! Where’s my girl that moved in with a gazillion boxes?” 

“I could say the same about you, Dad. Living in this giant fishbowl and all, I would’ve thought that you’d have more furniture.” You jested at him as the two of you began to pick up the few boxes. 

He set down a box and placed his hands on his hips, “Well how would you know that? You haven’t even stepped inside yet!”

Closing the trunk you jokingly shook your head, “Like I said, fishbowl.” 

Your dad helped you unpack your meager amount of belongings. He made the bed with the new mattress while you hung up your clothing in the empty closet. Even though you had visited last year when he had first moved in, this house and its furniture still felt foreign. The newly constructed home aroma still lingered in the air.

“So Dad, how’s work?” Mindlessly rearranging the hangers, you decided to organize the closet for the second time. 

“It’s going pretty well actually,” He smoothed out the plush comforter before continuing, “I’ve gotten close with some of the other doctors and I was actually thinking of inviting them and their families over tomorrow for a barbecue.” 

You hummed a response while continuing to sort the hanging clothes, for you were not opposed to the idea of a barbecue. It had been so long since you’d had any good food that wasn’t from the dining halls. 

“You know you were right, (y/n). The sun does actually shine in Forks!” Your dad chuckled once more before excusing himself to go make phone calls to his friends from the hospital. 

—-

The next day, despite that there was a small chance for rain, Mother Nature held out and it seemed to be for the better. There would be plenty of time for rain in the months that occurred after August.

Your dad had opened up the pool because what’s a barbecue without a pool party? Slipping on a yellow sundress over a swimsuit, you went downstairs to help with the food preparation. The kitchen counters were covered in various packages of bread as well as hamburgers and hotdogs waiting to be grilled. Everyone was set to arrive around one o’clock, and it was currently two hours before then. The time crunch was apparent as your dad ran around the kitchen frantically trying to man the stovetop and the ovens. Between the combined work of both you and your dad, lunch was prepped right as the visitors began walking in.

Last night, your dad had told you that he was inviting a few coworkers and their families, but you had no idea that it would turn out to be so many people. The backyard was brimming with young kids running around the pool while their parents socialized over drinks in the vast plot of grass. While your dad grilled the main course for lunch, he had you welcome everyone at the front door. Most of them were doctors, but a few were nurses. Regardless, they all came with either spouses, kids, or both. 

Except one doctor stood out very much, for he came alone. You were not only stunned by his lack of family, but also how perfectly styled his light blonde hair was. His hair somehow managed to contrast his flawless skin that seemed even paler. Not a single strand fell forward and covered his golden eyes that crinkled as he wore a polite smile. One hand sturdily held a case of beer, presumably for the party, while the other reached out to greet you. 

“Hello, you must be (y/n). I’m Carlisle Cullen. Your dad talks about you a lot at the hospital.” The man squeezed your hand gently in a friendly manner before letting his own drop to the side. 

“Wow, I just got here and I’ve already got a reputation. Hope he says good things about me.” You reached out to take the case of beer from him, but he insisted on carrying it himself like a gentleman. Most of the guests had just thrown their things at you, so this was a nice change of treatment. 

“Only good things, of course.” He nodded.

You gestured Dr. Cullen to come inside and he followed behind you, waving to the couple of guests that were mingling indoors. 

“So Dr. Cullen, are you the one who hired my dad? Your name sounds vaguely familiar.” The two of you were nearing the backyard, and your dad waved you both over through the screen door.

“Your father had an impressive resume and we desperately needed that kind of help around the hospital. And please, call me Carlisle.” He turned around to smile at you before making his way over to your dad who wore the grin of a five year old standing in a candy store. The two seemed to be talking a mile a minute as if they had not just seen each other at work. It was apparent that Dr. Cullen was your dad’s closest confidant in the hospital. 

Sitting on one of the lounge chairs, you began to feel the rays of the sun harshly beaming down like a spotlight. The heat was becoming unbearable, so you slipped off the yellow sundress to reveal a teal bikini that was a gift from Mel. Everyone was either preoccupied with their friends or family and couldn’t have cared less, except one man who stood by your father at the grill. 

Dr. Cullen, an untouched beer in hand, was walking over towards you. A smirk painted his lips, but you knew behind those sunglasses there was a playful glimmer in his eyes. Your father was so preoccupied with his role as grill master that he didn’t even notice that the doctor had walked off. 

“Now, Dr. Cullen, why aren’t you out there socializing with your peers?” You playfully pulled down your sunglasses to peer at the man who had leisurely taken a seat on the lounge chair beside you.

“Well, Ms. (y/l/n), I see these people every day,” He gestures to the mass of people surrounding the yard, “but it’s not every day that I get to talk to you.” 

You stifled a giggle at his poor attempt to flirt, “Do you get many girls with that line, Doc?”

He shook his head, laughing at his own poorly planned pick-up line. “Apparently, I’ve been out of practice for a while, sweetheart.” 

Leaning the back of the lounge up, you turned to sit and face him. The chairs were positioned so closely that your knees hit his, yet neither of you moved. Barely leaning in, your lips ghosted against the shell of his ear. The smell of mint clouded your senses being so close to the man who was as still as a statue. 

“We’ll see about that.” Breathlessly, the words left your lips as you leaned further to grab his untouched beer and take a confident swig. 

You leaned back to see that his face was not shocked, but rather smug. If he had been stunned by your receptiveness, then it surely wasn’t obvious now as he seemed unphased. It was more obvious that a challenge had been accepted.  

Just as he was about to continue the banter, your dad hurriedly ran over to the both of you. He was covered in one of those cheesy grilling aprons and desperately waving around the tongs in his hand. “Hey, would you guys mind grabbing some paper plates and cups? We ran out, but there should be some in the closet upstairs. I’ve got just about a million more burgers to cook.” 

You looked at Dr. Cullen who just shrugged in return. Agreeing to help, you both stood and began to walk back to the house. Your father, pleased with the answer, ran off to continue to man the grill and the line that was beginning to form. 

Dr. Cullen seemed to trail behind aimlessly, so you grabbed his hand without second thought. Once you were inside, you eagerly led him up the stairs and to the hallway where the closet was. 

Just like everything else in this house, the hallway closet was unnecessarily elaborate in its design. It was no towel closet, but more like the size of a whole bathroom itself. You walked in once the barn door slid open and Dr. Cullen flicked on the lights. 

For a man who lived by himself, your father stored a lot in the closet that would make you think he had a family of ten living with him. You scanned the endless shelves as did Dr. Cullen, but the plates and cups appeared on your side first.

“Found ‘em.” Of course the supplies had to be on the very top shelf which appeared to be closer to the sky than you. It wasn’t until you were on tippy toes trying to reach the items that you were aware of leaving your sundress downstairs by the pool. 

And it wasn’t until Dr. Cullen stepped behind you, that you were aware of how chills racked your body.

“Need some help there?” A cold hand rested on your bare waist as you turned your head ever so slightly to be met with Dr. Cullen who tauntingly looked down at your lips. Without shame, he continued to admire your pillowy soft lips before you gave in. 

Fruitless attempts to get the supplies were damned as you threw your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. You pulled him down as he pulled you closer; neither of you wanting to let go. His one hand on your neck slid up to cup your jaw, slightly turning your head to expose your neck. For a brief moment, his lips disconnected from yours, but only to make their way further down. The man slowly moved his free hand from your waist to delicately brush your hair off your shoulder. His lips connected with your neck as he kissed a slow line down to your collarbone. 

“God, Dr. Cullen,” You threaded your fingers through his hair as he mercilessly continued on, “You don’t seem that out of practice to me.” 

For a split second he stopped his maneuvers only to correct you once more, “Please, call me Carlisle.”  

So overcome with pleasure, his name breathlessly rolled off your lips and you only pulled yourself closer to him. Moving your hands from his hair, you began to blindly fiddle with the buttons on his shirt as he continued to nip at the sweet spot where your shoulder met your neck. His skilled fingers began to play with the strings of your bikini top that held it together.

He murmured while trying to slow his movements, “Sweetheart, I don’t think I can stop, but I don’t want to do this here.” His efforts to stop were becoming forgotten as he took in the sweet smell of your perfume that painted your skin and tempted him more. “You deserve something thoughtful, not a heated moment in a closet.” 

You quickly pulled back and he seemed shocked, for he mistook your adoration for insult. His eyes scanned your face for any inkling of meaning before your lips reconnected with his in a hurried passion which instantly cleared his confusion. 

Meanwhile, downstairs, your dad noticed the absence of paper plates and cups. He didn’t come to think of where you might have run off with them, but he instead took initiative to find them himself. Not a single thing could’ve prepared the man for the sight that he would see once he made it to the top of the stairs and down the hall. 

Without a care in the world, your dad slid open the heavy barn door to not only find the missing supplies, but to also find his daughter pressed up against the shelves and lip locked to Dr. Cullen. The faint sound of someone uttering their shock caused you and Carlisle to separate. Your father stood in the doorway frozen in shock before Carlisle instinctively jumped in front of you to cover any indecencies. 

After what felt like the longest minute of your life, your dad awkwardly cleared his throat before speaking. “I’ll uh just grab some paper plates next door.” 

As your father scrambled off, Carlisle turned around to plant a kiss on your forehead, "Like I said, we can do this somewhere else."

a/n: i haven't posted on tumblr in so long this feels so weird 😭 please like and repost! REQUESTS ARE CLOSED (these are ones from years ago lol)

#carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen fanfiction #twilight carlisle #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen #twilight fanfiction #twilight

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 6

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; talk of Reader's anxiety; drunkenness; New Girl spoilers (if you’ve never watched the show and don’t wanna know things!); absent parent thoughts; heavy petting; oral sex f!receiving; fingering; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; spanking (hehe); Reader is stubborn; Jake is stubborn (if i missed any that may have triggered you, please let me know!!)

Chapter Word Count: 24.5k+ (damn. i'm v sorry lmao)

Covet Masterlist

a/n: welllll, after summer school (that shit really took it out of me), one vacation w my whole fam, two gvf shows with my sis @joshym, an extended vaca in nash (bc we just HAD to!!), and INSANE writer's block....... HERE IS CHAPTER 6! finally! i'm insanely sorry it took so damn long. thank you all for being the fkn B E S T and so understanding and the best gresties/readers a girl could ask for! <3333 ("heart eyes, motherfucker" - that's how i feel about u all :) (also if u remember that vine, ily even more now))

i hope you enjoyyyy ;)

-🌼🌼🌼-

At the beginning of July, you were stacking a shipment of some blues records in a bin at work, your mind in a blank space, which naturally moved you to think of the one person who was seemingly always at the back of your mind.

Jake.

He’d really just taken up residence in your brain, as he had in your home.

He was still on his shit. You know, acting like a pouting child, barely acknowledging you. Even after you’d literally bared yourself to him, pussy out, nipples pebbled in the open air. . . 

You blew a breath through your lips, and tucked hair behind both ears, readjusting your thought process. 

Now he seemed set on only acting like an ass after your time in the cramped bathroom had been cut short. Before, he’d taken the time to still seek you out. After the incident in your bedroom bedroom, he’d literally shown up at the B&G, begging you to come see him.

Were you just not worth it to him anymore?

You rolled your eyes to yourself, focusing on stuffing records in the bin alphabetically. 

It. Didn’t. Matter. He didn’t matter.

Really.

And you knew he didn’t matter because it wasn’t hard for you when you finally decided to play into his behavior—his little game. You didn’t stop yourself when you started to match his energy. It was easy to act as though you didn’t care about him. 

Because you didn’t. 

All you really needed was to satisfy that itch and then—then, you’d be good. 

But as you came across a re-release of a Howlin’ Wolf record, you suddenly became slightly disheartened at the thought of it all. What if this wasn’t a game for him? What if he was actually so upset that he just decided you weren’t worth it? Would you ever get as close as you had at the gig again? Did he still want you like he had in the bathroom that night? Or in your bed the night before Baby’s?

You shivered as you (once again) thought of his hardened dick pressed up against your leg. You could hear his voice, low and sultry.

“That’s what you do to me.” 

Fuck. Did you still do that to him? You hoped so.

Then there was the feeling of him pressing into you, your bare ass on the cold ceramic of the sink, leaning your body into him, craving more—so close. 

God.

You frustratedly groaned and shoved the vinyl in its place and shook your head. It didn’t matter. Really. But you couldn’t help your heart falling at the idea of him not wanting you like you wanted him. 

All you could do was hope that he still wanted it—wanted you, like he had before. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You'd also started July deciding that in order to keep some sense of dignity, it would be best to not go see Jake perform. Especially if it was possible he’d completely closed himself off the idea of you. 

It was humiliating to be a try hard.

You would distance yourself from that part of his life, if he was going to ignore you and distance himself in your shared home. 

Did you want to see him play again? Hell freakin’ yes. It had been such an intimate experience that first night. You’d felt so privileged to witness it the way you had then, up close to share his emotions as he played, holding his eyes almost any time he’d looked up at you. You’d been taking in every flick of his fingers, every thrust into the back of his guitar, the concentration on his sweaty face . . . and he’d wanted you to watch. He’d wanted you there, in that moment, with him.

You could still see him clear as day, tanned skin glowing in the B&G, his eyes golden in the evening sun, pleading with you. . .

“I really want you there.”

When you’d gone to their last shows in June, all you wanted was to feel that way again. Connected to him. Close to him. You wanted it so badly—but it seemed he didn’t want it anymore. He hadn’t looked at you once during any of the shows. To be fair, you had been standing so far towards the back that it’s possible he hadn’t even known you were there. But, he hadn’t even tried to seek you out to ask you to come like he had before (if it really was possible he thought you weren’t there). 

Things were just different than before. 

So, yeah. It was best that you didn’t go. You didn’t want to seem desperate or possibly annoy him with your presence just in case he did see you at a show. You’d made up your mind that it was obvious he didn’t want you there. He wanted things like they currently were. 

And it wasn’t so much that it hurt to have him act so aloof and absent and uncaring. It didn’t hurt. Really. You’d tried to convince yourself that he was just making you angry. Nothing more.

So, you just continued to play his game however well you could. It wasn’t that important. 

Though, any time he left the apartment, looking deliciously ready for a performance, all you wanted to do was follow. But instead, all you’d actually do was look at him from wherever he passed you in the apartment. You’d glare at him, matching his pissy behavior as long as he continued to show it. 

But you’d eventually noticed that his eyes weren’t always holding irritation when he passed you. . .sometimes, you could have sworn his eyes held more longing than anything. 

Although, as soon as you’d think you saw it, he was already gone. And you would eventually decide that you’d imagined it.

You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if it was possible that underneath his moodiness he did still want you?

All you wanted was to understand what he was feeling. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

So, after not going to their shows for the first couple weeks of July, Josh had finally reached out on the night of one, asking if you’d come because he ‘missed seeing you’.

You initially wanted to send a text back that said: ‘No, sorry. Your brother sucks and I’m mad at him right now. And if I go all I’ll want to do is fuck him senseless after watching him play, even though he probably doesn’t want that at all. So, I have to decline.’ 

But, then you guiltily started thinking of how you needed to support your best friend and the other two guys. It was incredibly rude of you to not go see Josh, Sam, and Danny do their thing simply because Jake was a pain in the ass that you couldn’t figure out. 

You wanted to support your friends. Support Josh.

So that’s why you ended up texting an ‘Of course! What time?’ in response. 

And as you got ready that night, you pulled on a cropped Cream T-shirt, thinking momentarily of your roommate. Would he like it if he saw it? Or would it piss him off?

Pushing it out of your mind, you focused on how excited you were now, the idea of getting to see them live again. 

The guys put on a helluva show; they were absolutely magnificent, so magnetic. 

Once you felt totally ready to go, you secured an Uber to pick you up, already planning to have a few drinks to ease your mind at the show.

As you put your shoes on, you thought. . . The thing that made you most excited really wasn’t seeing the band perform again as a whole. It wasn’t even the thought of seeing Josh. It was getting to simply be near Jake again, pathetic as it may sound. And the thought of seeing him play again. . . Fuck. Watching him was so enticing. He was like a drug. . .always drawing you in.

There was no denying the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of watching him perform again. Because even though he was pissing you off and you had no earthly clue how in the hell he was feeling, watching him perform was unlike any adrenaline rush you’d ever experienced. 

(Save for the feeling of your blood pumping erratically at the feeling of him tucked between your legs. That was a feeling unlike anything else.)

-🌼🌼🌼-

Like you had at shows before, you sat at the back to witness the performance. 

It had been great, per usual. Jake had left you wanting him from your seat. And just like it had been at the shows in June, he never failed to make you feel incredibly stupid for stopping things in the bathroom the night of their first show. 

Yet now, while they performed their encore, you hadn’t left the venue like you normally did. You hadn’t tried to get the hell out of dodge. 

No, tonight, you stood at the outdoor bar area connected to the back of the venue. It was set in a huge space covered in bright green turf, a small patio with a couple of tables, and plenty of Edison bulb string lights to set the cool mood of the place. 

There were even a couple of ping pong tables and a cornhole game set up for people to play at. A random sporting event was drawing in a few college-aged men, on a giant flat screen TV.

Although, unlike those men, it wasn’t your choice to be hanging out in the open area. You had wanted to avert to your normal plan of leaving to go home with a quick ‘proud of you!’ text to Josh. 

You wanted to avoid Jake seeing you at all costs. But Josh had inadvertently seen to it that you wouldn’t get away with that plan again.

He’d apparently caught onto your little trick. Before you could begin to type a text, and before they’d even come out for their encore, Josh had sent a text. Or three. 

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: Don’t you dare leave.

Josh, 10:23 p.m.: I really want to see you and give you a hug 

Josh, 10:24 p.m.: I don’t see you nearly enough these days and I miss you dearly and I really want to have just one drink with you after the show. Pleeeeaaaase

So, here you were, outside before the set even totally ended, standing at the bar, downing another lemon drop to calm your nerves. You really just wanted to be home, with Stevie snoring against your calves. 

You were not totally ready to be in the same area as Jake for an extended amount of time.

You were just asking for your another beer when you felt someone sidle up beside you. The nudge against your shoulder, and the familiar hint of patchouli in his cologne, made you grin at your best friend.

“One salty dog for me,” Josh said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. After a nod, the bartender went to get his drink ready, and he turned you fully into him to give you a big hug. 

It felt so safe. . . but you couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to be this close to Jake instead.

When you pulled away, you momentarily closed your eyes, collecting your thoughts. When you opened them, you watched as he placed an elbow on the bar and a hand on his hip. His eyebrow went up. 

“Great job tonight. I’m so prou—.”

“Why haven’t you let me know your anxiety’s been flaring up again?” He interrupted, obviously worried.

You blinked once. What? “What?”

“Last month, you kept fleeing before I could even take a breath after a set. I figured you were just trying to get some sleep with your summer classes starting. But then you just stopped coming altogether,” he scooted in closer to you. His voice got lower, his eyes concerned. “I just wanted to put eyes on you. I’ve been so busy; I haven’t had time to check on you like normal. My schedule is shit. I figured this would be a way for me to see you and make sure you’re doing alright,” he continued, reaching his hand up to lightly rub your shoulder. “It came later this time. I expected it to get bad at the end of May, but it never came. What’s going on? Are you okay? Are you eating?”

Your cheeks pinkened. With your concern for avoiding Jake at these gigs, you hadn’t even taken time to think about how your behavior might have worried Josh. Of course he’d been thinking deeply about your absence. He cared so much for you, and was a sole confidant on multiple occasions of your depression induced anxiety flare-ups. And, to be fair, being flighty usually signaled the beginning of your bigger bouts with your superb anxiety-depression combo.  

You’d had a few times in your friendship where it had gotten really bad. Definitely a trauma response, almost always coming with a change in season. For some reason, the change in leaves, flowers blooming — it always made you think of just how much your mom had broken you. You didn’t get to appreciate the beauty without it being tainted by darkness. Your mother's leaving had come right at the turn of fall into winter. 

There had been a few times after Elsie left when it got so bad that Josh’d insisted he stay with you. With your sister around, he wouldn’t always stay the night when it hit you, but he’d check on you at work, and hover with texts, food, and quality time until he felt you were better.

But this had nothing to do with your mother. And really, your anxiety wasn’t bad. Jake wasn’t causing you anxiety for you at all right now. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Were you on edge around Jake at all times? Yes. But it wasn’t anxiety. It definitely wasn’t depression. Sadness that he could possibly not want you, yes. But it wasn’t something dark like the thought your mother might bring. You didn’t know what it was. 

You just knew you had to reassure Josh.

“I’m okay,” you looked into his eyes and reached out to hold his hand on the bar. “Yes, I’m eating. I’m just—feeling a lot right now? I don’t know. It’s weird,” you shook your head and removed your hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. How could you explain this to him? You couldn’t. “Just a lot going on in my head.” 

He studied you, squinted his eyes. “Is there something I should know about?” He questioned, his voice getting crisper as he tried to make pieces click. Your stomach dropped. “You’re being vague. You’re sure it’s not—?”

“No,” you shut your eyes, huffing a frustrated breath. “Yes. I’m—it’s just—I don’t know.” Improvise, improvise, improvise. “When Elsie was in town, we talked about my mom. I’ve just been in my feelings, I guess. And, yeah, summer classes have started and that’s added some pressure, too. But it’s not anxiety or depression or anything,” you connected eyes with him again, and reached to squeeze his hand. “I promise.”

He still didn’t seem convinced. You weren’t surprised. He was an empath after all. He shouldn’t be convinced. He knew better than to believe that was all it was. But you didn’t want him knowing any better than an assumption in his head. And as long as the assumption didn’t have anything to do with his brother, you were okay with whatever he was assuming. And, you being in a weird headspace because of your mom wasn’t a lie. You truly had been. He’d even witnessed it at the coffee shop. 

It just wasn’t the whole truth. The biggest thing was something he absolutely couldn’t know: the way your mind had been swarmed with Jake, Jake, Jake for the past months. And it’d only gotten worse with the past couple . . .events.

The thought of Josh catching on to anything about his brother continued to make you fearful of him possibly being cross with you over it. Or worse, made you fear him feeling betrayed by you. You didn’t want him upset or thinking poorly of you for possibly distracting Jake in any way. 

You couldn't be to Jake what his ex had been. And you feared Josh’s mind would go to that immediately—out of protection for his brother. Rightfully so.

His eyes settled back to normal, accepting your answer for the time being. His eyes curved down with understanding. “I saw you watching that girl and her mom at the coffee shop. I should’ve known.”

All you could do was nod. You didn’t know what more to say to cover your ass. 

You cleared your throat, signaling you were ready for a change of topic. “Enough about me. How are you feeling about all of these amazing shows, rockstar?”

He grinned wide, letting his worries go as a drink landed in front of him. 

And in no time, things were like they’d always been. 

Just you and Josh, not a lingering thought for Jake’s moods as you let yourself listen to his twin’s many thoughts and feelings of this new life of his.

You just had to try your best to ignore the way your heart leapt in your chest at any mention of Jake’s name in a story.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

I wasn’t prepared for the sight of her as I walked out onto the back area of the establishment. 

And fuck it all, if she wasn’t the first thing my eyes found in that slightly crowded space. It would be impossible for her not to be—she was most definitely the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. 

But my heart immediately dropped when it registered that she was holding Josh’s hand, talking animatedly with him. It would be stupid for me to assume she’d come for anyone else but him. 

I had thought for sure that she’d been interested—wanted me—that night at Baby’s All Right. She’d said so much the night before that —her being so open with me at our home, right before we’d kissed for the first time in the hallway. 

Then, that night at Baby’s. . .I’d been so close to her, feeling her swollen pussy, still wet from my mouth, on the head of my cock. The way her body had thrummed around me. . .making my body need more. 

But just before I was inside of her, she’d heard my brother and her mind had gone immediately to him. Only caring what he thought. 

I didn’t know what to think about what they had between them. It was very possible that they were just friends—best friends. I knew that was likely the case. 

(And if I were thinking reasonably—it was definitely the case from how Josh talked about her sister.)

But my ways of reasonable thinking had been shot to shit these days. 

I’d been burned by assuming something similar in the past. The whole “just friends” thing was a cover I wasn't too fond of. Thanks to the woman I’d loved in the past, my trust was shot and I had become a primarily “glass half empty” thinker. My past had bit me in the fuckin’ ass. 

But y/n—she made me feel electric again—full of life. She was the most beautiful symbol of a fresh start. A fresh start I’d been craving—a feeling I’d been chasing for years. 

I truly hadn’t felt so full of possibility since I was 16. Even when we’d bicker, I felt this glimmer of hope for my life. . . She was a natural light. 

I just wanted her so bad, going dizzy at the sight of her . . . And that was a feeling I hadn’t ever felt with any other woman. My brain was almost always fuzzy when she was near. 

She was absolutely breathtaking, every movement she made that had her hair flowing in slow motion around her head, the way her eyes hooded when it was just the two of us. . . but even better, the way her eyes shined, so bright, all the time. She was positively heaven sent. 

And I’d be an idiot to think she’d want me more than my brother—who she’d known for years, who she was instantly drawn to at all times. They had natural chemistry. Anyone with two eyes could see it. 

She deserved a light that matched her own. Could I capture that light? Yes, I knew I could. But I’d been so terrible to her from the get-go; I wouldn’t blame her gravitating towards Josh—feeling safer with him. 

Like he always said, he was the sun, and I was the moon. I naturally came with darkness. I’d made it clear enough by acting like an asshole for the first portion of my time living with her. 

People who knew me knew I was notoriously terrible at reacting to hurt. I didn’t naturally know how to handle my emotions like Josh was practically born knowing to do. 

And the moment I laid eyes on her that first night at the apartment—when she’d opened the door. . .her hair falling against her sweet face, her eyes opening to show me the most beautiful color I’d ever seen. I knew then that I was a goner. 

But it’d seemed to be terrible timing at that instant. Feeling so drawn to her—it was coming right after I’d had the biggest life change. My heart was hurting—not necessarily broken, just . . . lost.

And I didn’t want her to be involved in the hopeless sea I’d been drowning in since my past troubles had come crashing down around me. 

Though, when I’d first seen her, standing there, the evening sun hitting her stunning face in her doorway— I felt like all of the pirates I loved to study. I’d found a hidden treasure I couldn’t even imagine could be so beautiful— just around the bend for so long, finally in my grasp. 

But I hadn’t known her. I hadn’t even met her. She was a treasure that wasn't mine to enjoy.

And I truly needed to heal, without bringing someone else down with me. I was scared of all I was feeling, and I only knew to react with bluntness, rudeness, irritation at every fucking turn. I’d even brought girls to bed to try to get her the fuck out of my mind. 

But it never happened. She was persistently there, in my everyday routine, in the eyes of the girls I'd mindlessly fuck. She'd sealed a sweet spot in my brain. 

But I’d still kept up with the douchebag act.

It was so unfair.

She’d tried so hard to be friendly, and I never greeted it well. I hadn’t known what to make of it all. That first night, Josh had said we were the same. Though, as he’d said this, I’d been watching her—so peaceful and beautiful, deep in a surely dreamful sleep. 

It’d instantly made my stomach dip when he said it. . . I knew well enough that she couldn’t be the same as me. 

But she was the same as Josh—pure, unadulterated bright, yellow sunshine. She was the sun on a spring day, flowers blooming and the grasses so green. Not a cloud in sight. 

But I was the cloud in her flawless sky. I’d been reminded of that when she’d stopped us at Baby's, saying she didn’t want Josh to know. It seemed she didn’t want to take a chance on people knowing we’d been so close.

I could only assume she didn’t want that darkness in her life, and I didn’t blame her. 

So I’d separated myself from her.

After that night, when Josh had told me of her being at our other gigs in June, I’d brushed it off. I knew why she was there—for Josh. I hadn’t even tried to seek her out because I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want me near her. Didn’t want people to know how close we had been. 

How well her body shaped to mine in secret— and it was just that: a secret she wanted kept. 

Especially wanted it kept from Josh. To him, she wanted us to be strictly roommates. So that’s what I’d decided I’d be for her. 

I’d wanted to ask her to come to shows after our little stint, but I fought the urge every time it came on. I wanted her there, I fed off of her energy—she made me play better. But, I didn’t want to rub her the wrong way after she’d put her foot down in the bathroom. I didn’t want to come off too strong. 

I’d also given my best attempt to not let my feelings show in the past weeks. It had been so hard anytime I’d meet her beautiful eyes. Her eyes that, over the past week, had seemed to turn from something hopeful when she looked my way to what could only be called disdain —disdain for me.

I had been an asshole, and she was better than that . . . 

But, still, all I wanted was her. I wanted to take back everything I’d said or done out of hurt, due to not knowing how to handle my mess of feelings. 

I wished I could go back to day one and make things different. I wished I could go back in time to stop myself from becoming a slab of stone to cope with my feelings. If I would have just been myself. . . Maybe I’d have her now— ever-endearing and enrapturing.

Fuck. And as I watched her tousle Josh’s hair, I just wanted to feel her fingers in mine again. My heart twinged with jealousy at the action.

“Look who’s here!” 

Sam’s loud voice snapped me out of my reverie. I continued to watch her, her smile widened at Sam’s voice, looking in his direction, and away from Josh. Then, without warning, she looked over to me as I was still studying her face—the way her full lips stretched to show her beautiful beam. 

But as soon as she looked at me, her smile fell. And all I wanted in that moment was for her smile to get bigger when she saw me, just as it had when she saw Sam.

I just wanted her. 

I decided at that moment, I was going to bite the bullet. I could make one more move to be close to her again. And if there was one moment where she acted as if she didn’t want it, I’d back off. 

But right now? I couldn’t see that happening. Couldn't see her backing off. She didn’t pull her eyes from mine, and I never let my gaze fall from hers. She held me with her stare, and I held her with mine. 

It was just us.

And as I came up on her other side, opposite Josh, she never broke eye contact with me, turning from my twin. And even as Sam and Danny traveled behind me, she only looked at me. 

I watched her chest rise and fall, the swell of her breasts making my mouth run dry from where they peeked out at the makeshift tear at the top of her shirt. The sugary sweet smell of her perfume made all of my senses lurch forward, wanting to take her—all of her— right at that moment.  

I was close enough to see the shine from the Edison bulbs around us, reflecting in her irises. 

Daniel and Sam came up to give her hugs, honestly acting completely oblivious to what was transpiring between us. Josh was chatting it up with the bartender, asking if he heard us from out here. 

And finally, they all left to go play ping pong. They’d offered for us to go play, but she hadn’t even acknowledged them talking. I waved them off, and looked at them with a shake of my head. I felt her eyes continue to pore over me as she let me do the work to get them to leave. 

Then, y/n and I were in our own world, I placed my forearm on the bar, my body curving to be around hers of its own accord. She followed by turning her whole body to face mine. It felt natural as she leaned into where I stood. She wasn’t quite touching me, but she let her own body follow all of my movements. 

I couldn’t help but feel my chest puff as she let her body move with mine as I matched her, moving in time with her. I was the dull moth and she was the bright, alluring flame.

I wondered if it felt as seamless for her as it did for me, she sat her elbow on the bar, and leaned her hip against a stool. She went to sit on top of it, but she struggled with her footing, so I let my instincts take control and I helped her onto it. However I could help her, I wanted to. 

I also wanted nothing more than to touch her, so that seemed like the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. 

The gasp she released when I touched her, and lifted her the slightest bit to help her situate on the glittery plastic top of the stool, combined with the way her legs spread the slightest bit, her black jean shorts showing so much of her sweet, sun-kissed thighs—it made all of my blood rush through me and to a throbbing halt at the head of my cock.

I wanted to cross my legs to make sure it wouldn’t show what she was doing to me. But she was so magnetic, I couldn’t help the last step I took, towards the stool, to be closer to her. I was so close that my thighs touched her knees. Her knees, which she then crossed, in the process grazing the zipper of my jeans. 

My breath caught in my chest, and my dick pulsed. She was still looking down at where she’d touched me, so I knew she saw what I felt happening in my pants. 

She shot me a look, questioning all of this. And all I could do was look down at her, letting my eyes sweep over her entire outfit. So simple, yet so lovely, as always. She was wearing a cropped band tee (Cream. Fuck—did she do that on purpose?) and those cut off black denim shorts, with her black-colored toenails showing in a pair of cheap black flip flops. 

I swallowed hard, feeling so entranced by her. My gaze went back to her face, the most appealing part of the woman. Her face was so open, so kind, so pretty—it had done nothing but draw me in since day one. And being so close to her again, I saw the familiar dusting of a few lighter freckles that dotted her nose. She was smiling—her eyes were smiling— at me. 

Somehow it seemed she knew exactly what was going through my mind. Crazy how we’d been avoiding each other for the past couple of weeks, but now just clicked back together as if we were back at Baby’s All Right—in the cramped space of that bathroom.

I looked into her bright eyes, feeling something overwhelming come to life in my chest. 

Fucking hell. She was perfect.

I needed this. I needed to feel this with her again. I’d missed it. The closeness.

“Hi,” I said with a nod, just loud enough for her ears to hear. 

She blinked once, her eyes wide and wondering. Fuck. She was so damn cute. 

Then, I watched fondly as her dimples showed in her cheeks with a soft grin. “Hi.”

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

It had been a decent amount of time since Jake had come up to stand right next to you, completely ruining any chance for sanity on your end. 

He’d acted so normal, so forward. His actions were exactly what you’d needed to feel relieved—to know that all was okay. 

You’d gotten nervous being around him, like Elsie would say, you were pretty sure you had a ‘good ‘ol crush.’ Nothing more. You focused on complimenting the set when you’d talked, asking simple questions, just to hear his voice explain the same things Josh already had. The raspiness in his tone was just delicious, and you wanted to hear the small things from his perspective more than anyone else’s.

When you weren’t listening to him talk, you pretended to be interested in the game on the flat screen—you had no clue what they were doing on the field, but it was distracting you from how sweaty your palms were getting at Jake being so close.

Though, you were now several beers (and a couple margaritas) in, previously deciding you wanted to make this night like old times where you’d get drunk and have fun with the guys. The boys’d come up to you a few times in your precious time being next to Jake. They’d bump you with a shoulder as they grabbed a drink. . . Josh only coming by once or twice, having been the chosen one to hold off, as he was the DD.

And, per usual, Sammy had chosen a game that would supposedly be much more fun, completely inebriated: ‘drunk ping pong.’ 

“Like normal ping pong, except you’re drunk!” Sam had excitedly said, his signature cackle following his words. He was right there with you on the 'shitface scale'.

Jake had barely left your side all night, and it felt so right to be so close to him, to stay with him. It felt right, just like it had before, except this time, it had nothing to do with anything sexual. . .it was just his simple presence that made you feel good. 

(You weren't going to talk about how you'd felt his dick twitch in his tight jeans. . .because holy fuck. Your panties had been the victim when that had happened.)

By the middle of the ping pong game, you were still drinking. You felt light in the head, completely carefree. You even caught yourself leaning into Jake a few times, the two of you deciding to be a team against Sammy and Danny. Josh preferred being the referee for the game, getting a chance to nonstop talk by narrating the entire game.

At one point, you knew you were leaning back into him, but you were far too gone to care. You’d purposefully pressed your ass against his crotch, and he’d patiently repositioned you. You were grateful for him being so aware, because you knew you’d regret it in the morning if something stupid happened in front of your friends. You just couldn’t control your actions like a sober-you normally could. 

You were in a body that was moving on its own, your brain barely registering what you’d do.

He’d repeatedly asked if you were doing alright, and you’d get so lost in his chocolate gaze you could only breathe a ‘yes’ in response. 

And, now, as you settled into a booth inside the establishment, it was nearing 1 a.m., and you were simply listening to the guys talk about their next performance. And as you had been all night, you were next to Jake. 

At this point, you were cuddled up next to him more than anything else. You felt so cozy with him. His body was a warm furnace for yours. You were sitting in a way that none of the other guys could see what you were doing. Because of them not seeing your bottom half, you situated a leg over his thigh, comfortably draping it the best you could to make it look as inconspicuous as possible (while simultaneously being incredibly drunk). 

But you could barely worry about it when you leaned your head on his shoulder. You were sleepy. And he was warm, right, and close. 

And he smelled so fucking good. Hints of sage and vanilla overwhelmed your senses, mixed with sweat. . .it was the perfect mixture that helped to lull you to sleep, along with the calming vibration of his voice as he talked with his brothers, your head laying on his shoulder perfectly placed for the melodic sound waves from his voice. 

And right before you dozed off, you felt one of his calloused hands lay on your thigh, warm on your cooled skin. You snuggled into him, a small smile finding its way to your lips.

-🌼🌼🌼-

Before you knew it, the same hand was squeezing your thigh, urging you to wake up.

“Y/n. . .let’s go home,” his voice softly said, his minty breath hitting your face. Home. As your eyes wedged open, you looked up at him to find the apples of his cheeks redden with a deep laugh as he reacted to something Josh said.

If only you could just kiss him - right then and there.

You were still too out of it to register what Josh was saying, but you noticed the other three standing around the booth, Jake securely next to you still. 

Your tummy fluttered at him being so attentive to you, and continued on that way as he helped you climb out (or rather squeak out of the booth, your bare thighs making racket against the seat). 

“Y/n. . .,” Sam started, his voice way too high for him to be requesting your name for anything too serious. And still, you looked up at him as you finally edged your way to the very end of the red booth. “Did you fart?!”

The rest of the guys started chuckling with him, and you couldn’t help but join in as you went to punch his scrawny chest. “Shut the fuck up, you fucker.”

Danny whooped, beating a fist in the air. He started leading the way out of the bar. As you all followed, he turned to catch your eye briefly. “Y/n. . . coming in with some nasty ass insults tonight,” he laughed. “You’re killing it, Baby Dragon.”

“Haven't heard that one for a hot damn second,” Josh remarked, right behind Danny, waiting to hold the door open for you, Jake, and Sam. “Baby Dragon.”

Jake looked at you and Sam curiously, wanting an in on the nickname. 

“Baby Dragon?” He questioned, taking the door from Josh to let you into the dark night, under his lifted arm. 

“Game of Thrones,” was Sammy’s explanation, as he started teetering on his feet, balancing himself on the ledge of the sidewalk to keep himself busy. “Baby dragons.”

You could tell he was still wondering why, so you tried to extend Sam’s drunken response with your own woozy one. “I’m a baby dragon.”

Well, that made no damn sense, you thought, giggling to yourself.

The guys started busting up laughing, Jake still dipping his eyebrows in at you, a smile playing on his full lips. He was watching your every motion, continuing as you looped your arm with Sammy, trying to balance with him.

Josh continued, more lucid than either of you. “We watched Game of Thrones week after week at our apartment for about a year. . . binged it together,” he nodded his head toward you, smirking. “One of y/n’s favorite ways to bond is with a good television show. And she had been dying for us to watch it with her. So, we did.”

The curly headed twin then laughed at you and Sammy as you both nearly fell, making the same ridiculous sound as you almost went down. Sam thankfully recovered in time, even with his feet slippery in his Birkenstocks. He held you close to him. It made you laugh even harder as he playfully checked you for bumps and bruises. 

“We deemed her Baby Dragon,” Danny finished.  

Jake nodded, but he still wanted more information, looking left out. You also noticed him looking as though he’d discovered something. And then it clicked that Josh had exposed a bonding tactic of yours. You slapped your forehead, your reactions still slow, even after your nap, where you had snoozed off the tiniest bit of alcohol. 

“Josh!” You scolded him, way past time. You still made no sense, randomly saying his name— you knew this. 

But, the more Josh looked at you dubiously, you thought you’d leave it at that. You didn’t need to correct him for saying anything. Because, well, it really wasn’t that big of a deal, the more you thought of it. Maybe you were okay with Jake knowing you’d used TV to bond with him. 

In this state, you could plainly admit that you wanted him to know your heart—all of your intentions. And you wanted to tell him all of your desires. . . Show him, even. You were craving him, especially after being so close with him all night. It felt nice. 

You looked up to observe him at that moment, but he was checking his phone, his eyebrows crinkled. He looked up from it, clicking it closed and glancing to the street to see a car rolling up.  

“Your Uber AWAITS!” Sam declared, motioning to the car that had pulled up to the curb, the black and white Uber sign in the corner of the window to confirm his words. 

“Jake, you need to get a damn car,” Josh noted, opening the back door for you. “I’m tired of being your chauffeur. And Uber is going to get tired of you soon, too,” He caught your eye and winked, nodding over to your roommate. “Y/n, I’m thinking it’s your turn to cart Jake around everywhere he goes.”

You approached the nice little silver car, rolling your eyes at Josh, but still giving him a hug as you came up next to him. “Love you, Joshy,” you leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m not taking any car advice from you, Mister Clunkerfuck,” he commented plainly. It made you burst out with laughter. “Your car is on its last fuckin’ leg. It’s going to break down on you at the worst possible moment and I’m not going to feel bad. I think you’re the one who needs to get a car—a new one.”

Sam started drunkenly singing a track you hadn’t heard that included the lyrics ‘you’re the one’. His actions were dramatic, only Danny paid him any mind, starting to sing with him, being just as goofy. 

You were still thinking of what Jake had said. It was exactly how you thought of Josh’s car.

“Clunkerfuck,” you smiled in Jake’s direction. Though, when you caught his eye, he looked a little downcast, you just couldn’t pin why. Maybe you were seeing it, all dazed out. “Good one, Jakey.”

Jakey? It did register in time that you’d called him that, and you were instantly embarrassed by your nickname for him. Too far. So, you hurriedly got in the car, your cheeks flushing as you haphazardly yelled goodbyes to the other guys. 

“Nighty night, Baby Dragon,” Josh had said with a laugh, calling you the nickname once more, closing the door behind you. You’d honestly forgotten about the nickname. . .it had been so long since they’d used it. 

Before you knew it, Jake was scooting into the passenger seat to offer an address to the driver. 

He doesn’t want to sit next to me? You thought, sadly. But he chose to be close to me the rest of the night. . . Why not now?

You tried not to look too disappointed on the outside as he was back to ignoring you for the twenty minute drive back to your place. He paid you no mind, and didn’t even care to check on you like he had all night, on the ride back. 

You weren’t able to give it much thought as you looked at the GPS and reasoned you could get a good nap in on the way home. Drinking always made you feel so tired. 

You laid your head against the cooled window next to you. Jake’s naturally husky (fucking sexy) tone as he spoke to the driver, was the last thing you heard semi-coherently. 

You let the car sway you to sleep for the last 10-ish minutes of the drive back, only one handsome man, with long hair and a voice that dripped of sex, waiting behind your lids as they closed. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were still feeling loopy as Jake helped you up the stairs to the apartment. 

You’d had way too much to drink. You needed sleep. 

Once you entered the apartment, it was so quiet and dark. . .you needed light. So, you felt against the wall to switch the light on. But, you instantly regretted it, covering your eyes with both hands. 

“My eyes!” You yelped, way too dramatically. And when you peeked through your fingers, you saw Jake stooped down, next to Stevie’s dish, giving her a scoop of food. She nudged her little gray head against his hand. Your heart squeezed at the sight. But it was still too bright. “My eyes!”

With two hands still covering your eyes, you sauntered, on unsteady foot in front of the other, back towards the switch you’d used to flip the lights on. 

But before you could get to the switch, you knocked into a chair, sending you back onto your ass. Yet again, dramatically.

“Ow!” You moved a hand from your eyes to massage your sore butt, and as you did, you saw Jake moving to switch the lights off. You were once again cloaked in darkness, but he turned the lamp on closest to him. You sighed, your ass not hurting as much as you’d imagined it had. Now you only cared about the lights, how perfectly dimmed the room was. “Ahhh. . .Much better.”

Your lids were drooping again, and you were not looking forward to getting back up on wobbly feet to make the trek to your bedroom. 

Deciding the floor was a comfy enough bed for the night, you laid back, curling onto your side, your hands under your left cheek to make a pillow. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake’s POV

Her eyes slid closed. I watched her, a small grin on my face. So adorable. 

But, she was so gone. I felt bad appreciating her being so cute while she was so incoherent. 

So instead of taking advantage, I’d taken it upon myself to watch over her and make sure she was alright all night. I kept my drinking to a minimum so I could keep a careful eye on her.

We’d spent the whole night together, enjoying each other’s company (even if she had been slightly—very—drunk). It’d felt so right. 

My heart had beat at being like that with her in a similar way it did when we’d watch New Girl together. But, it was different tonight. Instead of only sitting on a couch, we’d been together, walking around, playing, her willingly (albeit drunkenly) falling asleep on my shoulder, a smooth leg draped over mine (holy fuck, by the way). 

We hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk a whole lot, thanks to my brothers demanding our attention. The only talking we had partaken in had been very little. And it’d only been about what she’d thought of the set, little questions she had for me. We’d mostly just taken time to be next to each other. 

For me, it’d felt like coming back home.

I had just watched her as she watched the game on a TV in front of us (didn’t peg her as a girl who liked sports, but whatever), occasionally looking over at me to share a secret smile, making my skin hot with want for her. 

I’d hoped, sitting there on those barstools, that she’d felt it with me—the whole cheesy ass ‘coming home’ thing. 

But then, having to stand there and watch her kiss Josh on the cheek at the end of the night . . .that had been a kick in the fuckin’ ass. I’d literally felt my heart sink in my chest as I watched them, their respective energies feeding off of the other so well. . . they were practically one. 

He’d even helped her into the car, once again calling her that ‘baby dragon’ thing that I couldn’t understand at all. I couldn’t understand her the way he could—the way all of the guys could. I hadn’t been around to get to know her with the rest of them. I wasn’t in sync with her like they were—like Josh was. 

I was late to the game. Probably too late. 

Though, when we got home, I still wanted to help her with a few small things . . . It was impossible for me not to try and help her (even if she didn’t fit as well with me as she did my brother).

And at this moment, I could tell that she was going to let herself sleep on the floor. 

But I wasn’t going to let that happen. 

Bending down next to her beautiful body, I couldn’t help but bite my lip when I saw her round ass peeking out from the bottom of her shorts. She was filled out in all of the right places—an absolute fucking masterpiece. 

Then I heard a little whimper in her sleep. A sigh, as she probably started slipping into dreamland. I felt my dick harden just the slightest bit when I thought of hearing those same whimpers through the walls. . . how she’d said my name in her sleep a few times — moaned it, even. . . Off in her dreams where I could have only hoped to meet her.

I’d spent many mornings so sexually fucking frustrated with how close, yet so far she was. So many times—I was there, right next door to her as my name would slip from her lips. And with only a thin wall between us, I’d jerked my cock into a hand I’d imagined was her sweet pussy, having to bite my lip to keep from saying her name.

Fuck. I palmed at my crotch, willing my dick to soften. Now was not the time.

I touched her shoulder, nudging her a bit. “Y/n. . .come on, wake up. You don’t wanna sleep on the floor.”

She sighed again, “Yes, I do,” she retorted. 

And then she moaned as she snuggled further into the carpet. Her moan. Fuck. She was like a damn good drug. 

“No, you don’t,” I scooped my hands under her back, ready to carry her to bed. “I’ll carry you if you don’t move yourself. Come on.”

I saw her lids flutter, eyes still closed. A little smirk graced her features. “Carry me, Jakey,” she mused. 

There she was using that nickname for me again, I thought. It sounded so much better, sweeter coming from her lips than I’d ever heard it.

And when I let both of my hands totally slip under her, scooping her into my arms, and against my chest, her eyes blinked open, still slightly hooded. Her eyebrows curved in, the look she was giving me telling me she hadn’t believed I would do it. 

She wiggled, arguing. “Jake. You don’t have to,” wiggle. “Carry,” wiggle. “Me.”

I gripped her a bit tighter, but did give her a chance to climb out of my arms. “I’ll let you walk if you want to,” I continued, letting my guard down with my next words. “But I really like being this close to you. . .feeling you against me.”

When she looked at me again, it was as if she’d totally sobered at what I’d said (even though I knew better). Her eyes were inquiring, but so full of an emotion I couldn’t fully place in that moment. All I knew was her unnamed emotion somehow perfectly matched the thrum of my heart in my chest. 

“Me too.”

And then she looped her arms around my neck, bringing my face down to meet hers, just as we’d made it to her room. 

I couldn’t help it. I let myself give in to her apparent want in that moment, and met her lips with mine. 

End of Jake’s POV

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Jake carried you further into your room, to your bed, you never let your lips leave his. Even as he laid you down on your bed, you kept kissing him.

Yes, you thought. This. This is what I needed. I needed him.

You knew you weren’t totally sober, but when he’d said what he did about liking the feeling of being close to you. . . it had made your heart leap into your throat with joy. Because you’d been hoping he still felt like that. You’d been hoping so hard to hear words like that, that it had kind of snapped you from your drunken daze. 

And having him on top of you, laying his body between your legs that naturally opened to make room for him. . .the feeling was divine.

Having Jake with you, it was more than the alcohol that still lingered in your system. You wished you hadn’t let yourself get so wasted tonight, wished you'd have taken him coming closer to you as a sign to not make tonight ‘like old times’. You realized that you wanted it to be new times—times where Jake was here. Things were different with him around. 

And now that you were so far away from the beginnings of him living with you, seeing him show bits of himself, outside of his shroud, throughout June. . . knowing what his lips tasted like—you could admit that having him around was a good type of different. 

Your mouth opened, needing his tongue to meet yours. As soon as it entered your mouth, you sucked on it, loving the taste, the feeling of it, safe in your mouth. 

Needing to be closer to him, you leaned up the slightest bit. You had to feel your skin against his. Closer, closer.

You separated your mouth from his, your lips wet, probably looking just like his: swollen and pink. 

His eyes were dark, lids hooded, encouraging you. You tugged at his shirt, and he got the idea. Thanks to not buttoning his shirts all the way, he was able to slip his short sleeve floral button down over his head. As he did that, you reached around the hem of your old T-shirt, taking it off. 

But before you could throw it to the side, he reached a hand out to grab it, turning the front of it to face you. The members of Cream, staring at you from the splotch of white on black material.

“Does it get you off?” He questioned, an eyebrow raised. “Turning me on with these little outfits you wear to the shows?” 

You smirked, your eyes hazing with want for him. He’d liked your choice of shirt. It hadn’t irritated him. You had made progress. You weren’t at square one anymore. Thank God.

“You liked it?” You rhetorically asked. “You were all I thought about when I put it on.”

His eyes glazed over, just like your own. He liked that.

He huffed, his mouth forming a grin before leaning down to nip at your lips, throwing the shirt to the side. His hands found your thighs, lifting them around his hips. He sucked your bottom lip, moving his tongue to lick into your mouth, his mouth following yours as you melted into the feeling, needing more. 

You pushed him away again, using the time he was leaned back to take your shorts off. He helped you so you didn’t have to awkwardly wriggle out of them. You flashed your eyes at him, smiling with them. 

Then once they were gone, you sat up fully, legs falling from around his hips, to help him. You messed with the button of his jeans. 

He placed his hand over yours, stopping you. You looked up to question him. And as you did, he was already laying you back down, honed in on the sight of your chest that hadn’t stopped heaving since you’d kissed him. 

“Did you think of me when you put this on?” He pulled at the strap of your bra- the same bralette you’d had on the night you’d first kissed. His eyes looked down at the rest of your body, palms running smoothly up your thighs, and over the curves of your hips, giving them a firm squeeze that made you thrust up towards him. His eyes found yours, completely dark. “Don’t start with that.”

Okay, I will, you thought, ready to tease him.

You moved a leg to be between both of his, bending it at the knee, causing it to rub against his crotch ever so slightly, then you brought it back down to lay beside your other leg, looking up at him, eyes innocent. 

“Oops,” you smirked, watching his own lips quirk. 

But as soon as his mouth lifted, it fell into a frown. His eyes squeezed shut, brows drew in, his jaw suddenly set as he ground his teeth. . . 

He looked . . . Frustrated? 

He started shaking his head and quickly grabbed his shirt, going to get off the bed. 

What the fuck?

It made you sit up again, like you had minutes before, but out of alarm this time. 

“Jake?” You worriedly asked, getting off your bed to follow him, clothes be damned. 

He didn’t respond, only grumbled something under his breath. You couldn’t understand him and you were wondering what in the hell was going on. 

As you followed him out of your room and a few steps to his room at the end of the hallway, you grabbed his arm before he could open the door to his room. 

“What’s going on? Are you—?.”

He roughly shook your hand off of his arm.

“Y/n. Go to bed,” he gruffly said, his next words made your throat tighten up even more than his initial tone. “It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone. Go to bed.”

Your mind was suddenly on high alert, ignoring any kind of lingering effects of alcohol, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 

What the fuck was his fucking problem? 

A mistake? That's what you were?

“Jake. . .,” you went to grab his arm again, but he turned before you could, facing you. His eyes were stern, dark with anger. It stunned you, so opposite of how he’d been all night. You continued on, not letting his reaction to you, deter you, “You don’t. . .,” swallow the tears, y/n. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he confirmed. Your chest tightened, you took a step back. “We can’t keep—just go to bed. Leave me alone.”

Your sadness quickly turned to bitterness. . . spitefulness. All of a sudden, you were extremely aware of your state of undress. You felt completely embarrassed from the rejection. You covered your body the best you could. 

“Fine,” you turned quickly on your heel, needing to get away from him and back to the safety of your bedroom. You were suddenly feeling anxious, upset, and ready to recluse. “Good-fucking-night, Jake. I’ll give you what you want. I’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

“Wait, y/n,” you heard his voice behind you.

But you ignored him, gave him a taste of his own medicine. 

Asshole. Fucking asshole. How could someone change so quickly? Be two different people in the span of minutes-time? He had just been telling you how he liked being close to you, he’d barely left you all night. . . Even approached you at the bar, for seemingly no reason but to simply be with you. 

But now? Now you were a mistake.

Fuck him.

“Y/n. . .please, I’m just—.”

Sharply, you spun to face him once you’d made it to your bedroom. You cut him off. “Fuck you, Jake.” 

You let your emotions reflect with an icy glare in his direction. 

Just before you shut the door to your room, you saw his face, completely crestfallen.

When you got back into bed, you curled up into yourself, and angry tears were your sad lullaby to get to sleep. You tried to be quiet enough so he wouldn’t possibly hear you. 

You’d had enough embarrassment for one night and you didn’t want to give him any more reason to judge you, be angry with you, or worst of all—pity you.

As you fell asleep that night, you couldn’t help but think that his sorrowful expression had matched exactly how you felt. Had he been sad? What gave him the right to be sad when he’d cut it off? Called it a mistake?

You worked to push him as far from your mind as you possibly could. You didn’t want to think of him.

He was impossible to understand. As soon as you thought you had an idea of the man, he changed, confusing the hell out of you. 

You tossed and turned, wondering why you still so desperately wanted to understand him. Why did it still matter? He shouldn’t matter. 

When you finally faded to a restless sleep,  you made the decision that you were going to try your hardest to not give a fucking damn about your roommate. 

You apparently weren’t worth his time, so he shouldn’t be worth yours.

You’d meant what you told him. 

Fuck Jake Kiszka.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As the week faded into the next, you’d made it your personal mission to make it perfectly clear to him that you were not giving him any of your time or attention. 

You used one of his earlier tactics and didn’t come out for anything except to eat, shower, go to work, go to class. You tried to avoid seeing him when you knew he was home, so thankful for the work schedules that still got posted on the fridge. 

He now had the additional schedule which showed when they had performances or practices, giving you a couple nights within that week to laze around the apartment with no worries of running into him. 

Occasionally, he tried to stop you to talk to you as you would pass each other. But you weren’t having it. You would cut him off with a wave, a short ‘no’ or a curt ‘goodbye’ as you left the apartment to do your own thing. 

You wanted to make it clear that you were done with whatever the hell you two had been dancing around for the past month. What he didn’t need to know was that you were mostly doing it to convince yourself that you were done with it. 

In the moments he tried to stop you, you would just get hurt all over again that he seemed to be so desperate to beat the dead fucking horse—explain his hateful words. That was all he could possibly want. What else?

And you didn’t want that.

Why did he seem so intent on stopping you to just explain what a mistake being with you had been?

Drawing a line was imperative.

You had to convince yourself that you didn’t still want him and that you didn’t have several passing thoughts of him throughout your days. 

It was much harder than you’d anticipated. Being your roommate, he was still everywhere you turned. No matter how hard you tried to escape him, he was there. In your shared home, in your thoughts, in conversations with Josh. . .

And in your fucking dreams. 

Several days during that blessed week of ignoring him, you woke up in a sweat wanting only him. Your body was calling out to be touched by him. 

And then you had the weak moments. The ones when you’d accidentally run into him, and you wanted to let your guard down, let him know you were hurting more than anything. You wanted to talk to him— wanted to know where he stood. 

But every time, you'd bit your tongue to stop yourself.

He’d said it himself—you were a mistake. 

So, that’s why you never gave in to the temptation to let him talk, or let him know your own feelings about it all. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Classes were a great distraction from what was going on in your heart and home.

Being able to dedicate your time to something completely unrelated to your roommate was exactly what you needed.

Spending more time on things like class work meant less time to think about Jake.

Though, it wasn’t necessarily doing what your family had intended it to. They’d wanted you to take a summer class to get your mind focused back on writing, use the class as a chance to get your passion for writing back.

But just as it had been before the summer class, your love—your passion for writing just wasn’t there anymore.

For some reason, when Jake had come into your life, it'd helped you realize for the first time in years, just how important music was to you. He brought out this spark that had faded. Being able to be around someone so often who was on the same page when it came to a passion for the art of music—it had done something impeccable for you. 

(He’d done it unintentionally—unknowingly—, of course, as he’d hated your guts when you’d started feeling that incredible pull towards music again.) 

And then there was the day in your summer class that pieces started clicking in your head. Slight identity crisis, if you may.

It had come to you when you’d been prompted to discuss and write about inspirations for pursuing writing. And in that moment, you’d realized you couldn’t think of any other reason you’d pursued your degree save for you wanting to be just like Elsie. (And the added bonus of your grandfather encouraging against a pursuit in a musical degree- at all costs.)

You’d set your sights on Elsie years ago as your number one role model. Your mother had left you with only your older sister to inspire you. Elsie loved writing, so in turn, you’d decided that you would also love writing. 

It was her dream. And, unfortunately, you were only just now realizing that maybe it wasn’t fully yours, as you embarked on your senior year of college. 

Terrible timing for Jake to enter your life and bring out that flame you’d always had for music. 

Another strange thing that had come along with Jake entering the picture were thoughts of your mother. More than you’d ever really had before. 

Thanks to Elsie having to use your forgotten past to help you have a better understanding  of Jake, your mom had been in more thoughts than you were comfortable with as of late. 

You hated thinking of her. But after that conversation, every time you saw a child with his or her mother, you had this giant burst of longing in your heart that you couldn’t put a name to.

It was truly odd, but the sight brought you this sense of impending healing. 

Were you finally on a path to figuring out who you truly were in the aftermath of her leaving?

You had no clue what the pull on your heart meant. 

All you knew was, there were a lot of changing feelings that were quite different than anything you’d felt in the past several years of your life. In those many years since your mother had left you broken on the porch step at ten years old—you’d simply gone about everything in life in a sort of monotone style. 

Rather than thinking with your heart, you’d just followed a gray wave. You’d never taken a real initiative to understand yourself. The waves of life had carried you, and you’d let them, willingly. 

It had been easier—more comfortable— than actually taking time to think about yourself and what you wanted. 

But Jake. . .he’d been the cause of bringing about the most feelings you’d had since your mother left in her blaze of glory. He’d brought out pieces of you that you hadn’t come in contact with since you were ten years old and vulnerable, screaming and crying for your mom to come back as she left you, broken.

But with the feelings this time, it truly felt more like a yearning to be more. You felt this sense of understanding for yourself that you hadn’t ever had before.

In some backwards way, he was helping you get to know these pieces of yourself you’d kept in the dark for far too long. Pieces that needed time, attention, and love. 

It was fucking weird. 

You didn’t understand the anatomy of it all. 

But you desperately wanted to learn more about these parts of yourself you were discovering.  

-🌼🌼🌼-

In order to push through the class (and your degree), you decided it was a good idea to pair up with a study buddy. 

You needed someone to help motivate you to keep going—finish with a skip in your step, rather than falling into a pitiful slump. 

It’s why you decided to ask Theo to be that person after class one day.

Surely that was a reason he’d floated back into your life. Help you stay motivated to get this degree. You didn’t know. 

And maybe it could be more. . .he would end up assisting to help you get your mind away from Jake. You didn’t need to be distracted by your roommate. 

Everything happens for a reason, after all. And maybe these were Theo’s reasons in your life.

He’d agreed with no hesitation, which had made a giant smile plaster to your face. 

But why, when you were leaving class, had you felt as though something had fallen to the bottom of your gut? 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Fiction or non?” 

You were splayed out on your bedroom floor, with Theo across from you. As he’d pored over his textbook, he kept coming up with questions to ask you. 

Sure, it might be cute and endearing in a normal circumstance. But right now, you wanted to focus on studying for a couple of upcoming tests, as summer semesters were the worst at moving so damn quickly. 

There were more important matters at hand than nonsensical small talk. 

Deciding to humor him (and hopefully get back to the task at hand), you responded. “Hmm. . .,” you sat up from where you’d been laying on your stomach to read about Geoffrey Chaucer. “They both have special things about them—both stretch our minds to understand more about other worlds and our own,” you paused, giving it a second to ponder. “Are we talking writing-wise or reading-wise?”

He chuckled, and winked at you. “It doesn’t have to be something you think so deeply about,” he closed his textbook. What was he doing? You still had to make flash cards! “Pretend we’re playing a game and it’s rapid fire questions.”

You didn’t want to be playing a game. You wanted to be sinking your teeth into the intricacies of this author in order to ace your test. 

You shook your head, your eyes stuck on his closed book. “Fuck,” you scratched your eyebrow. Your mind flicked to music: fun to write and read about. You were actually currently reading a book about John Lennon. You had many books on your TBR list about famous musicians. A most intriguing subject, in your opinion. “Non-fiction.”

His face scrunched up. “Nah,” he disagreed. “Fiction.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” his stare was blank in response. “Don’t really have to think too hard about it.”

You tried not to roll your eyes at him. In your opinion, thinking hard about what you were writing or reading was what made it most desirable. It made you venture into undiscovered realms of your mind. 

When you went to lean back over your book, the movement made you realize just how badly your bladder was begging to be released. 

Stupidly, you thought of the ridiculous work schedule on the fridge. 

Why the hell couldn’t you just let yourself go to the damn bathroom without thinking about Jake? You knew it was fucking ludicrous. You just didn’t want to see him. When you pulled up the picture of the fridge on your phone, you saw you were in the clear. He should still be at band rehearsal. 

You tapped your open book, giving Theo a sign that he needed to open his back up. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” you stood up, the wave of having to pee rushing through you tenfold at the motion. He still hadn’t gotten the hint to open up his textbook. Ugh. “I’ll be back soon and then we will make our cards for the test.”

And as you exited the room, you saw him finally get back to business and open his book back up.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You dried your hands on the towel next to the sink, and took a look at yourself in the mirror.

He sort of annoyed you, but Theo was still cute, and he’d made you happy in high school. You weren’t totally opposed to the idea of kissing him (or maybe more) by the end of the night.

It seemed to you to be another good plan to get your mind off of Jake.

And Theo seemed interested enough. Considering he’d been more interested in learning about you, rather than the material for class all night (irritating, but whatever). 

Deciding you looked good enough to return, you opened the door to go back. And as you went to walk out, you stopped at a chest in your way. You got dizzy at the smell—smelled so fucking good—familiar. . .

You looked up.

Jake.

Your eyebrows pinched together, not happy at all that you’d crossed paths. Fucking hell. Why wasn’t he. . .?

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like thi—.”

You held a hand up to silence him, crossing your arms. “Why aren’t you at band practice?” 

Why the fuck was he cracking jokes? You were not in the mood. 

“Ended early,” his face hardened when he shrugged, stating it plainly. 

“Why didn’t you just stay with the guys?” You asked, secretly glad he didn’t. For whatever reason. “You could have hung out with them instead of coming back here.”

“Oh,” he stuck his chin out at the word and leaned a shoulder against the door-hinge. He raised a brow and crossed his arms to mirror you. “I see.”

You definitely didn’t glance at how his bicep flexed as his fingers wrapped around it. And you didn’t take time to appreciate his beautiful hair. . . had it started getting slightly longer? 

You shook your head, retraining your eyes.

“Tell me, Jake, what do you see?” You snapped, flicking your eyes up to his.

He scoffed, rolled his eyes. “Saw that guy lying on your bedroom floor, waiting for you. He was even sweet enough to wave at me when he saw me pass your room,” he sarcastically remarked, waving his hand to mimic. 

“We’re just studying,” you hushed back, feeling the (unnecessary) need to reassure him.

He scoffed. “You think that’s all it is to him?”

You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips before you pulled him by his T-shirt into the bathroom. You weren’t going to discuss this in a place Theo could possibly hear. 

“I know that’s all it is,” you released his shirt like you were repulsed by the touch, when in reality you wanted nothing more than to pull it completely off of him. Damn him. "Why does it matter?"

“It doesn’t. Just think it’s funny how you’re so naive to believe he doesn’t want more.”

“He doesn’t.” 

“Do you?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t. I just think it’s also a little funny that you might want me out just so you can fuck that guy in your bedroom,” he nodded his head in the direction of your room. 

Oh. He was taking it there. Okay.

“Yeah? And if I wanted to?” You jutted your chin out the slightest bit, bringing your arms closer, to press against your chest. “How is it any of your damn business?” 

He stepped once towards you, eyeing your chest, the tops of your breasts revealed, pushed up to the top of your tank. Your skin flushed, heart racing. 

His voice lowered. “It became my business the night you spread your legs for me at Baby’s,” one more step towards you, his eyes locking with yours. Fuck. “When I had you moaning my name while my mouth played between your pretty legs,” another step. “I think you gave yourself away that night. I don’t buy this little act.”

Oh. 

Fuck. . . If your heart wasn’t racing. 

You blinked, shaking your head. You tried to stand firm. “Wh-what act?” Dammit. Why were you stuttering? 

Stand your ground, y/n, you thought, motivating yourself to stay strong. 

But as he took one more step in, your body was effectively once again trapped between his body and a sink. Thankfully, he hadn’t pressed himself up to your front, so you weren’t distracted by that. 

You tried to hold your own.

But shit. . .he was so close. Your skin flared with heat, your heart still beating erratically in your chest. 

As you were making direct eye contact with the chest of his white t-shirt, you craned your neck to see his face fully.

“What act, Jacob?” 

He shook his head. A little smirk played at his mouth. He brought his hand up to hold your cheek. Your skin was on fire for him and his touch.

You couldn’t help it when you leaned into his hand, letting your cheek press into his calloused flesh. 

He licked his lips. “You tell me,” he whispered lowly, nodding his head once at you. 

And you couldn’t help it, his deep brown eyes pulled you in. He was begging to be touched. You had to feel him. 

Leaning in, you held his cheek just as he held yours. He then took the chance, and captured your lips with his.

Ah. His lips. So soft. 

Your vision was hazy, eyes still open, you saw how his eyebrows dipped in with a moan. You matched the sound, closing your eyes, and slipped your tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. 

You heard him shut the door with the hand that wasn’t holding your face. 

He then moved that hand from your face, reaching both hands under your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he lifted you the short distance to sit on the bathroom countertop. 

You bit his bottom lip, getting another small moan from him. He did the same to you and then soothed the spot with his tongue. You sighed into his mouth. 

Reaching both hands up, you sunk them into his dark, brunette locks. He matched every movement of your lips with his own, and then licked one wet stripe on the roof of your mouth. 

You were able to gasp for air when he moved his mouth from yours to give the softest, small kisses to your neck. Though it didn’t last long before he turned his pecks into wet, open-mouthed kisses. The slightest stubble of hair on his lip skimmed against your sensitive skin. He worked from under your jaw, all the way up, to the tender spot behind your ear. 

Shivering with a sigh, you gripped his hair tighter, pulling him in as close as he could be to you, on the counter. You felt his hardening length against your center when you did so, making you immediately grind into him. 

And when he did the same to the other side of your neck, this time, he nipped at the skin behind your ear. You bucked your hips into his. He released a groan that echoed through the small bathroom, making you want to melt into it. 

“More,” you breathed, clutching him closer, making sure the front of you stayed connected to him. Feeling his hard length through the material of his jeans was almost too much, but you craved it. You needed it. 

More.

But, the next moment, you heard a little cough from your bedroom, right next door. 

It snapped you from your daze. You were suddenly hyper aware that it was not just you two in the apartment. You had to stop.

You pushed him back, jumping off the counter. When you looked in the mirror to check your face and neck, your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. Your neck was still pink from where he’d been. You checked where he’d bit behind your ear, and seeing the redness back there made you want to hop right back onto that counter. Let him have his way with you— right there. Theo be fucking damned.

But you knew better.

Tucking some hair behind your ear, you tried to make yourself look slightly presentable. 

From behind you, he was brushing a hand through his hair, when he went to smooth a hand over his cheeks, his jaw stretching with the motion. He was contemplative.

His eyebrows drew together, curious. You couldn’t tell if he was upset. He mostly looked . . .confused. 

He removed his hand from his face when his eyes found yours in the mirror, open and wondering. He looked desperate to understand. 

“What do you want, y/n?” 

You didn’t know what in the hell to tell him. 

You wanted Jake. And you wanted him bad. But somehow saying it out loud seemed too difficult at the moment. 

And how could you say that to him when he’d so recently, blatantly told you that you were a mistake?

“I don’t know, Jake,” you whispered back, still looking at your blushing cheeks, messy hair, and freshly kissed lips. You’d need a minute to let your skin return to its normal shade before going back to your room. 

You turned to face him.

When you saw him, looking so beautiful, so lost. . . You thought of how lost you’d felt for the past couple weeks. His words were once again flashing back through your head. 

“It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone.”

It still hurt as you could see him so clearly in the doorway of his bedroom, angry and insistent that you do what he said and leave him alone.

But tonight? Crowding you in here to make out on the bathroom counter? Did he truly want that? For you to leave him alone?

“What do you want?” You leveled him with a stare, your tone sharp, but keeping your voice low since Theo was one room over. You pointed a finger in his chest. “You say you want me to leave you alone, but then you trap me in here like this?”

He shook his head, a dimple showing again with a sarcastic grin. After tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, he put the same hand in his pocket. 

“Oh, there is no way you are going to turn this around on me,” he matched your quiet tone, understanding. “And trap you? Okay, Little Miss ‘Fuck Me, Jake,’” he used air quotes to remind you of your words from the night at Baby’s. 

Fuck. 

Of course he remembered you’d said that. Why wouldn’t he? 

You decided to ignore it, focusing back on him.

“You’re the one who said it was a mistake! That I needed to leave you alone,” you protested, anger flaring in your chest.

He covered his eyes with a hand, the veins in the hand catching your eye. You’d never noticed how masculine his hands were. And damn if he didn’t know how to use them . . . Even in this moment, debating with him, you wanted them touching every part of you. You wanted his skilled fingers, flexing inside of you.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” His eyes were sad when he moved his hand, when you saw the brown irises again. But there was a fire behind them still. “Dammit, y/n. Why do you insist on assuming the worst about me all the fucking time? I’m not the one who can’t make up my mind about what I want,” he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms. “One minute you’re kissing me. You’re with me, naked and ready as I’m pressing into you,” his voice was being raspy, along with the picture he was drawing. . . It made your cheeks pink. You could still feel what he felt like, pressing against you, throbbing. . .so close to being inside of you. He went on, “And the next moment you’re shoving me away from you, making sure to tell me that Josh doesn’t need to know what we’re doing.”

Of course some of this had to do with Josh. You’d had the smallest inkling, based on how weird he’d acted when you set the rules. 

Stupid.

“I knew you were making it all weird with Josh. . . is this all about Josh?! You know that he and I—.”

“No! It’s about you and how you make it impossible for us to—.”

“You told me to go away!”

“And you told me to stop,” he said back, his smoky voice still hushed. “More than once.”

Your chest heaved, knowing he was right, but you were so lost on how to explain it all. “There were reasons every time.” 

“Reasons,” he scoffed. “So are you going to keep having these reasons? Keep stopping it? Why do you keep letting it happen if all you’re going to do is make us stop?” 

“Last time you stopped us, Jake!” You defended, focusing on keeping your voice low. “Not me. You walked away and called it a mistake.”

He covered his face with both hands, growling. You shushed him. 

He took his hands away to show his jaw set, clenching with frustration. “You were drunk, y/n!” He begged you to understand, “I wasn’t going to do anything with you without you being in full and total control of yourself.”

You were sure your expression showed it all clicking. You blinked at him. It all made so much sense now. 

And what he’d done? His true intentions? Fuck. Sexy as hell.

Maybe you really did need to stop assuming the worst. You just couldn’t help it. It was a trauma response. Jumping to conclusions, thinking that people didn’t want you. . .

Your mom didn’t want you, so you were always convinced other people wouldn’t either. 

Especially men who were as beautiful and mesmerizing as Jake Kiszka.

Damn. Now it really was all on you. How did you even begin to lay it all out? 

You looked him dead in the face, completely unsure of how to articulate the mess in your head. 

“I don’t know,” you covered your face with both hands, mimicking him and frustratedly groaning into your palms. When you removed them from your face, you tucked them into your front pockets. You decided to assure him of one thing. For whatever reason, you wanted—needed him to know this. “I do want you. I want what we almost had in the bathroom at Baby’s,” You stepped towards him, wanting to be close to him again. You placed a delicate hand on his chest. He looked down at you, as you looked up into his eyes, reaching to hold your hand on his chest. Your skin tingled at his touch. “I need to feel you, to be with you. . . it just never seems like the right time. There’s always something.”

You didn’t know why you’d suddenly felt the urge to be vulnerable with him. He kept your hand on his chest, holding you, his eyes meeting yours in understanding. 

And you knew then that it was just him. Jake Kiszka, in and of himself, made you feel this strange sense of safety, comfortability. 

And it was different from the kind his twin had offered you as your friend for so many years. 

With Jake, you weren’t just friends. You weren’t even really friends. . .it was something else—an intense, unavoidable attraction. The safe feeling came combined with this desire to be with him. 

He felt like a resting ground. 

It was weird.

But you liked it.

He smoothed a thumb over your hand on his chest. You held his deep gaze, getting lost in it. 

And out of nowhere, he leaned down, kissing your lips with his. Just for a moment. 

You felt it all the way down to your toes. The feeling of him so close, with one simple kiss from his soft lips, it felt perfectly intimate. 

He released his hold on your hand, wrapping his hand around your waist instead, eyes connected with yours. It was as though he just wanted to touch you, have his hands on you.

It was what you wanted, too. Just the feeling of his hand, as it moved down to just over your hip, his thumb on the skin underneath the hem of your gray tank top. . .it felt right. 

He penetrated the thickness in the air with his low, gravelly tone. His eyes were vulnerable as he asked, “Do you want that? To find the right time?” 

You reached a hand up, holding his handsome face. You smoothed a thumb over his skin, tracing a freckle on his cheek. “I do. I promise I do,” you blinked up at him, needing his answer to that question. “And do you? Wanna find the right time?”

This was so much, butterflies flew rampant in your tummy. 

The grin he gave you was loose, his eyes relieved and open. “I really do.”

It felt so amazing to hear it straight from his lips. He really wanted it too. 

You’d overthink all of this later.

He leaned down to kiss you again. You reciprocated, for just a moment, letting your lips move with his. 

Then you pulled back, your hand falling from his face.

You nodded at the door. “I gotta get back to studying.”

His hand that was holding your hip squeezed slightly, your skin heating at it. You caught his eye, the intense feeling setting in your beating heart. 

“Is that all you’re doing?” His eyes were dark and questioning, making your head spin. “Studying?”

You winked at him, still holding onto your teasing from earlier. “It’s whatever I want it to be.”

His eyes seemed to darken more, pulling you in so your chest touched his. So warm. “I really don’t want to hear another guy fucking you through these walls.”

You pressed closer to him, your body thrumming with fire. “Funny coming from the guy who told me I could just wear earplugs when he brought women over,” then you pulled back, his hand fell. His eyebrow lifted, a tiny smirk lifted his lips. You continued, “Why don’t you go ahead and get a pair of your own, hm?”

You patted his cheek, reluctantly parting from him. Before leaving the bathroom, you chanced one more glance at your appearance. Not quite as flushed as before, though your cheeks were still blushing. You’d find a way to pass it off. Whatever. You’d been gone too long. 

You were about to open the bathroom door when, from behind, his voice stopped you. You felt a spark as his hand delicately touched yours.

“Hey.”

You swiveled on your heel, raised your brows in question. “Yeah?”

“Do you think you could come to our gig this weekend? It’s a bigger one.”

Did you work this weekend? You couldn’t remember. 

All you knew was that, suddenly, you really wanted to be at their show. 

“I’m not sure . . . Depends on work.”

“I would love—,” he put a fist in front of his mouth and cleared his throat. “The guys and I would love it if you could be there,” he shook his head, seeming to come to terms with an inner battle. “For me, I would just love to look out and see your beautiful face in the crowd.”

Your mind was fuzzy. All of this felt so unreal, yet so real all at once. He really wanted you there? And had he just called you beautiful? 

“I’ll try my best,” you slapped on a small grin, trying to play hard to get, masking your inner shock. You wanted to keep him on his toes, like he’d kept you for the past weeks. 

He scrunched his brows in and messed with his bottom lip. “Yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, totally get it. Just text me and let me know.”

Anytime he messed with his mouth, it was a distraction. You had to keep yourself from watching too close. It really didn’t help that you knew the feeling of those full, pink lips. . . 

And as you walked the short distance to your bedroom, you realized something else.

Had he just asked you to text him? 

What was all of this? This new territory you had just discovered?

-🌼🌼🌼-

And a couple nights later, when you were sitting on the couch watching New Girl, Jake came to sit at his end of the couch. 

Once you’d finished the episode he’d sat down to watch with you, he cleared his throat, making you look over at him. 

He was already looking at you. It made your stomach flurry. You decided to look back at the TV, nervous under his gaze. 

He spoke, keeping your ear in his direction, you paused the show. “We should start the series over. You know, start at the beginning together.” 

You smirked, feeling a rush of giddy happiness and excitement buzz through you.

“Yeah, sure,” you coolly respond, starting the show from scratch.

And as Jess began the first episode, you peeked quickly over at him, a content smile resting on his lips as he lounged at his end of the sofa.

-🌼🌼🌼-

And for the next few nights, Jake kept coming back. He would sit on the couch with you, simply to watch your show. 

Just to share that quiet time at the end of each day with you.

Whenever he would come to sit down, your nerves would translate to a dizziness of butterflies in your stomach. 

Though, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to laugh with him, share popcorn or pizza, look at each other when a character would say something particularly hilarious. . .

But neither of you ever moved to kiss the other. You know . . . make it anything more than two people watching a TV show.

It almost seemed like an unspoken rule that you were not doing that again . . .

. . .yet. 

Both of you, seeming to wait for the right time.

But you sure liked those quiet nights.

These nights with him made your house feel like a home. . . comfortable and safe. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

On Friday night, you got off work a little early.

It was the night before the guys’ show, so Jake obviously wasn’t home due to a last minute rehearsal and details. You'd seen as much on the rehearsal schedule on the fridge.

You took your time showering, shaving, exfoliating, pampering yourself fully, with the apartment to yourself. . .

Once finished, you realized you really wanted to watch New Girl. Even though Jake wasn’t home, you were in the middle of one of your favorite parts of the show. You had to watch the next couple of episodes. 

You’d just rewind to watch again when he was home next. 

You couldn’t help it. The two of you had been binging and you'd come to your favorite part in the whole show. It was arguably the best part—what the audience waits for from practically the first episode. 

Jess and Nick were finally about to bite the bullet, get their shit together and get together. 

And as you sat with a couple slices of warmed up cheese pizza from the night before, cuddled up with Stevie purring against your blanket covered thighs. . .something clicked. 

As they looked at each other throughout the whole episode of “Cooler,” you were angry with them. So angry that they were so close to finally being together, yet so far. . .

“Not like this!” Nick said to Jess, stopping her from kissing him. He suddenly sounded and looked very much like you had felt recently.

He looked desperate to make it the best it could be, get Jess to understand that it had to be just right. They’d waited long enough, and he wanted it to feel like it deserved to. 

You couldn’t stop it when it pulled you right back to your real life. Your current situation. 

And if you were upset with Nick and Jess for piddling around and not just acting on their feelings, not letting loose when it was so obvious they needed to . . . Then why the hell were you dragging it out so damn long with Jake? 

You felt like the two of you were essentially Nick and Jess. You were roommates, with so much building between you—everything and nothing to lose all at once. 

You wanted to act on it. You wanted it all. It was time. 

No, it was past time. 

And as Nick and Jess finally kissed, you decided.

The gig was tomorrow. You were off work early enough to go. . .

You were going to the show, and you weren’t going to stop anything that may happen afterwards this time.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you left for work the next morning, you noticed a piece of paper sitting on the dining room table with your name on it, along with a sticky attached to it with an address and a little scribbled note underneath. 

Just in case 

-J

Your tummy fluttered. 

You’d been running late, so you hadn’t had time to look at it, tucking it into your bag to look at later.

-🌼🌼🌼-

In the quietness of the record store, you opened it up to find the setlist.

Grinning, you checked it over. Every song on the list were ones you knew. Save for one near the bottom. 

Edge of Darkness.

Suddenly curious about the song, you wondered. . . Was this song the reason he wanted you there?

-🌼🌼🌼-

Due to stupid-ass New York traffic and thinking you’d let Stevie run out of the apartment, only to find her hidden behind clothes in your closet, you were running roughly forty-five minutes late for their gig.

You’d texted Jake to let him know you were running late, but hadn’t received a text back. Momentarily, you’d been afraid of him being upset with you for being late, your stomach falling when he hadn’t responded for the thirty-ish minute drive to the venue after you’d sent it. 

Then, you realized he was on stage performing, so of course he wouldn’t respond. 

Whenever you’d sent the text, your hands had been extremely shaky, checking your text a million times for grammatical errors, even after you’d sent it. It was seriously like a ridiculous high school crush. 

Dumb.

You still believed that if you just fucked him and got it out of your system, some of those juvenile feelings would come to pass. 

As an adult woman, you didn’t need to care so deeply for how a man might respond to you. There was no use for that, and you thought yourself ludicrous for it.

Though, you really did feel terrible as traffic took so long, delaying your arrival to the venue. Your normal road rage came out a few times, honking your horn and cursing as people would drive several miles below the speed limit in front of you. 

You just wanted to get there.

-🌼🌼🌼-

When you did get there, the guys were playing their hearts out as you had to squeeze through a mass of sweaty, singing bodies, alcohol sloshing whenever you’d pass through. 

The establishment had two levels, so you decided to climb some stairs to watch from a higher level, hoping for less of a crowd from that vantage point. 

And when you’d made it up there, you realized it was still crowded. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as below. You found a semi-clear space to claim, a thankfully nice view of all of the guys.

The first thing you noticed when you looked at Josh was his hair. He’d told you recently that he was trying to grow it out on the sides, going for a full head of curling hair. You hadn’t seen him recently enough to see the progress, though, and it looked great on him. 

“All right!” Josh had screamed into the mic, hyping up the packed house, receiving screams from everyone watching. Jake strummed a little note which made you immediately hone in on him, but he seemed irritated, strumming a few more times, shaking his head.

Josh glanced over at his twin, sensing the issue, and he smiled back at the crowd. “How we feeling?!” He raised his hands, eliciting more screams as Jake continued strumming, finally gaining some help from someone in their little backstage crew. The curly headed twin gave Jake another look, but Jake’s back was turned as he worked with the crew member to get the problem figured out. 

Josh walked over to his twin, checking out the problem for himself. They were having the smallest conversation before Jake shook his head at Josh, and then the crew member. He turned around, effectively giving up on the issue. He played another chord, checking, but his brows were still drawn in with irritation.

What was going on? Was he okay? You suddenly had an incredibly impulsive urge to go check on him. But you stood your ground as he felt out a few more notes, shrugging shortly and giving a curt nod to Josh as a go ahead. 

Josh once again smiled so wide it looked like it hurt. You could tell he was trying his hardest to alleviate any sort of tension for the crowd. Fortunately, the crowd seemed oblivious, playing into it as a sort of bit, it seemed.

You took a few seconds to send a text to your sweet, empathetic friend to let him know you were there and that you wanted to get a drink after the show.

You hated seeing him stressed- especially on stage. You were feeling it with him and with Jake.

“How about a new one?” He asked, receiving a plethora of yells and screams. You smiled with the crowd. “This next one is called Edge of Darkness. . .and it’s about. . .the edge of darkness.”

You giggled at him. He was a great frontman. The people were soaking it all up, laughing with him, and screaming for more. 

But you had to check back in on Jake. He seemed to be doing better, still upset, but he smiled tightly to a few screaming girls in front. 

He started playing, his face saying that something was not blending together like you knew he wanted it to. But you couldn’t tell the difference, so you knew the crowd couldn’t, either. 

It didn’t stop him from turning to check the amp a couple more times before suddenly, he was ripping through the most erotic guitar solo you’d ever heard him play live.

Fuck. The song was called the ‘Edge of Darkness’, and it was ironic because you felt like you were on the edge of some kind of dark shit. Watching him manipulate those strings with such precision and intent, his hips fucking (yes, fucking) into his guitar. It was unlike anything else he’d ever done with that guitar. . .you were absolutely sure of it.

You were sweating. And you knew it wasn’t from proximity to any people around you. No, it was from watching him go to this secret place that you wanted to join. 

His facial expressions were driving you insane. All you could imagine was seeing those faces above you as your body replaced the guitar. Bent over, with him fucking into you with the same vigor he was giving his instrument.

Then he threw it behind his fucking head. It got you every. time. He made it look so effortless— so easy for him to balance it there (though you knew it wasn’t), while he still played all of the intricate chords. He was a natural—a true rockstar. 

You wondered what else he was a natural at. 

You were squirming underneath your skin, your palms were clammy and when you moved a bit, you noticed your thong was uncomfortably damp between your legs. And your jeans made it impossible to move to fix the issue. 

These solos of his. . .fuck. They were the sole cause for your sexual frustration after these shows. Why you’d had to replace vibrators in the past month. 

But tonight? Tonight, you wouldn’t need the help of your hand or a tool. No, tonight, you planned on going home with him— to take care of it with his help.

-🌼🌼🌼-

But as you waited out in the bar area after the show, after sending Jake a text on how well he did, you were met with radio silence on his end. 

It sat there, glaring at you in the blue bubble. 

You, 10:43 p.m.: You fuckin killed it. So glad I came.

It had now been several minutes since the show had ended and since you’d sent the message, and looking at the time on your phone, you realized it had now been closer to an hour. 

What was taking them so long? Their crew packed their shit up now . . . so where were they?

You weren’t able to wonder too much longer, hearing Josh’s voice come up right behind you. 

But he didn’t have his usual bounce. He sounded super pissed.

“Your roommate’s a dick,” he sat in the seat at the bar next to you. He ran two hands through his growing hair and then put both of his hands over his face. He sat there like that until the bartender came up, removing them when they asked what he wanted. “Strongest thing you have.”

“Josh?” You tentatively reached a hand out to touch his bare shoulder. He’d worn his little brown vest he loved so much, sans a shirt underneath. “You okay?”

When he looked at you, he looked sorry for how he’d been acting. And he said as much. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Jake just—,” he put his face into his crossed arms on the bar to growl, then he faced you again. “He’s been in a piss mood all fucking night, and when he’s mad, I feel it all the way down to my bones. I also just get really fed up with his little attitude he gets when something goes wrong. It’s annoying as hell and I get tired of it.”

You could relate—you also hated Jake’s pissant attitude when he was upset over something. Though, in this circumstance, you felt inclined to be the devil’s advocate.

“Josh. . .you also get upset when things go wrong. You’re the biggest perfectionist I know.”

“Apparently you don’t know Jake, then. And you’re one to talk!” He spat. Then he groaned again, his eyes sympathetic when he looked at you. “I’m sorry. I know. I agree with you. I’m sorry. He just. . . seemed off all night and it already bothers me when he’s upset over something and he wasn’t telling me everyth— my twin intuition always knows when he isn’t telling me everything. And tonight he sure as hell had something else on his mind that he refused to give any weight to,” the bartender came up with a shot of something. Josh threw it back, and shook his head, coughing just a bit. His eyes bulged the slightest bit.

You couldn’t help your little laugh at him. He needed that. Take the fucking edge off. “Strong like you wanted?”

He gave you a grin, his eyes easier than they were before. You relaxed, realizing you were absolutely feeling that tension with him. You felt especially better when he waved the server back over to ask for a salty dog. That’s more like it.

“Anyway,” he started, swiveling his body to be facing towards you, one arm on the bar. “Sam and Daniel didn’t even have to be subjected to it. They left to meet up with a couple of their other friends before he exploded on me. Just me! And they don’t get those same inklings from him that I do. Being a twin is both a blessing and a curse. I swear we fuckin’ share a brain sometimes.”

His movements, facing you like this on his barstool, made you think of when Jake had sat next to you like this—the night he’d kept you close, taken you home, and then cut things short. Everything you’d felt that night coming back tenfold. 

 . . . Where was he? It didn’t matter where he was. Really. But you were curious. 

“Where is Jake?” You tried to play it cool, because that’s what you were. Cool. It was nothing. You went ahead and softened the question by complimenting his growing hair. “And I like your hair.”

“Thanks. Biotin vitamins, I swear to God,” he patted the sides of his ‘do, giving you a cheeky smirk. “And Jake—. Thank you,” he said to the bartender, giving her a quick wink as she sat his drink on his coaster. “He went back to your place. Didn’t wanna stay around for a good time. He was not in the mood.”

Your heart sank.

What? He’d gone home?

But he'd asked you to come tonight? Had he gotten your texts? Surely he had. There was no reason he wouldn’t’ve. All of a sudden, you felt extremely stupid for sending them. . .for thinking anymore of tonight than you should have. For worrying about him from the balcony. When he didn’t even care to stay to see you. 

He was the most unpredictable asshole and you were foolish to think, for even a split second, that he wasn’t. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Luckily, Josh was ready to end the night fairly early. 

You were glad because you weren’t in the mood to entertain after having your feelings hurt (stupidly) by Jake leaving and not telling you. It was the smallest thing to be upset over, you knew. Your heart had gotten ahead of you, and into something ridiculous. 

On your drive home, you kept telling yourself that you were done with all Jake related thoughts. You shouldn’t give two shits about the man. Really. He’d been a jerk from day one. And even though he’d had a few instances of being someone so wonderful. . . he kept doing things that just reminded you that maybe he was just incapable of being consistent.

You were worried about what you’d go home to. Afraid of hearing him and a girl from his bedroom, seeing them on your couch. . . You were tired of not being able to keep up with him. It was exhausting. 

And as much as you told yourself he didn’t matter, you knew you were lying to yourself. You’d made him matter the past couple months—let him matter. Too many times you’d let him get to you. And as much as you wanted to regret it, you couldn’t fully let yourself do that yet. 

The stubborn, stupid part of you wanting to give him a chance. Wondering what had happened tonight that got him so upset. 

You cared. . .even though you really wished you didn’t. 

So as you traipsed through your front door, you were relieved when all of the lights were turned off, and there was no sight or sound of a woman. Only Stevie, who came up to purr against your calves. Feeling bad for your hungry kitty, you quickly went to drop your purse to the table so you could feed her.  

But when you looked in her dish, there was already fresh kibble in the bowl. You hadn’t fed her before you’d left. . . 

Had Jake . . .? Obviously. Your heart perked at the gesture.

Then, the sound of a guitar being strummed from his bedroom stopped your thoughts. Stevie went to eat, and you left her to do so as you walked towards the sound. 

You weren’t choosing your path. . . your feet were simply leading you, your mind hardly keeping up with what you were going to do once you got to his room. 

Just felt a want to see him. Talk to him. 

Why?

You’d worry about that later. Didn’t want to think about that for the time being.

Once you got to his door, you noticed it wasn't fully closed. You didn’t think as you pushed it open. 

And then, there you were. And there he was, facing the door, his concert attire still fully on. He looked up at you from his spot, stopping the strumming abruptly. 

But his eyes weren’t kind. He wasn’t happy. He was still feeling the anger Josh had been talking about. 

Not giving two shits how he’d react, you didn’t hold back. You were still pissed, too. At him. 

“It’s not fucking kind to invite someone to something and then leave them there without a damn hello or goodbye.”

He blinked, his lip curling to show a sarcastic smile. “You’re gonna pull that shit?”

You stepped further into his room, coming close enough to him that your knees were almost touching his, where he sat at the edge of his bed, his hand clutching the acoustic with a tight grip. Too tight. 

“What the fuck, Jake? Of course I’m going to ‘pull that shit.’ It was a fuckin’ prick move and I didn’t appreciate it.”

“It’s a prick move to keep someone waiting for a response about whether or not you’ll be somewhere when I can see damn well your schedule on that fridge, saying all week that you didn’t work tonight,” he got up to place his guitar on the stand next to his bed. He kept careful to not touch you as he moved. Wow. He placed it delicately, in stark contrast to his sharp movements. He spun on his heel to face you. “Why don’t you care, y/n? You don’t have to fucking come if you don’t care. I’d rather you stay home if you don’t want to be there when I invite you.” 

“What made you think I don’t care?!”

“You kept me hanging! All week,” he angrily brushed a hand through his hair, growling with the motion when a ring got stuck in the locks. “Fuck!” He started pulling down his bed covers, not looking at you as he argued. “You don’t do that when it’s my brother. He wants you there, you’re fuckin’ there. With me, when I ask you, you’re always late and you barely even tell me you’re coming. It’s obvious who you’re really going to see and I’m tired of you acting like you care about me when you really only care about Josh.”

“What?! First of all, you knew I worked the night of your first show. I didn’t want to. . .I got fucking called in— so don’t you dare hold that against me!” You came closer to him, hitting his arm to make him stop the unmaking of his bed. “Quit doing that and fucking listen to me!”

He went rigid, throwing the covers dramatically, stopping like you asked. He stood stiff as a board with his arms crossed at his chest. He motioned a hand for you to continue, almost mocking. “Go on. Enlighten me.”

You shoved his chest. “Stop it!” You crossed your own arms, your heart beating so hard in your chest. “Stop with the Josh shit. Anytime either of you ask, I’m there. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner about tonight. I’ve just been—I don’t know,” you’d been thinking about him. How badly you wanted to do him after the show tonight. “Distracted?”

“School?” He questioned, seeming genuinely concerned.

You shook your head, not wanting to lie. “No. Not school. I don’t know how to explain—,” you looked into his eyes. They were hardening again. “I don’t know. Just distracted.” 

He shook his head. He was in the dark. There was no way he’d know the full truth unless you told him. But you weren’t sure how to articulate it. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his jaw set. “Thank you, y/n. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Jake— seriously. Please sto—.”

“I just—dammit!” He combed a hand through his hair and got the same ring stuck. Having enough, he took the one piece of offensive jewelry off, and placed it delicately on his desk behind him. He locked eyes with you again. “The other night in the bathroom, you—I could have sworn you—but you—you told me— I just can’t keep up!”

“I can’t keep up with you!” You yelled back, momentarily worrying about neighbors. It was very late.

You were at a loss. 

You surveyed him, his chest was heaving like yours. Walking a few steps forward, your chest was almost touching his— you softly grabbed at the front of his light red T-shirt, eager for him to hear. His breathing seemed to slow at you being so close. Your eyes held each other, his were questioning.

It was now or never. The frantic beating of your heart, sounding in your ears. You were shaking. You were tired of him thinking he knew best. 

What you were most tired of was tiptoeing around—the barely missing each other. 

“I’m only asking one more time. What do you want?” He begged, reminding you of Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.

You would have giggled at the similarity if you weren’t feeling the seriousness of this moment. 

There was so much to say, but only one thing left to say, all at once. . .

You stood there, sharing breaths, for a few still seconds. Could have been minutes. You were lost in the beautiful gaze of his deep, dark eyes.

Your heart slowed, your breath catching in your throat while your stomach dropped to your knees.

“I want you to fuck me,” you said lowly, grabbing at his shirt with a sturdier hand. You weren’t scared—only sure. So fucking sure. And beyond ready. 

His jaw went slack. It almost looked like he wanted to say something to challenge you, but he bit his lip. Instead, he grabbed softly at your jaw, curving his hand up to cradle your head, softly under your flowing hair. 

“Well I can fucking do that.” Was all he said as he dove in, securing your lips with his. 

He sucked on your bottom lip and penetrated your mouth with his smooth tongue. He tasted like minty gum and cigarettes. Usually, you found it repulsive to kiss someone with the taste of nicotine in their mouth, but with Jake . . . It was suddenly everything you’d ever wanted in a kiss. 

You lost yourself in the moment. In him. There was nothing stopping you now. 

Continuing to kiss you, he turned you both, until the backs of your legs softly hit the edge of his bed. Taking that as your cue, you went to sit down on the sheets. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, his delicious hips right at eye level with you now. He took initiative and pushed them the rest of the way down, stepping out of them.

Then all you could see in front of you was him, bursting at the seams in his pink, AE briefs. Fuck, he was so cute and sexy all at once. You didn’t know how he did it. 

Your mouth watered as you went to pull down his briefs. But he put a hand on yours to stop you, the cold metal of his rings a contrast to your heated skin.

You looked up, your eyebrows dipping in question. 

“Not yet,” he corrected. Then he took his shirt off, exposing his beautifully soft, tanned, and perfectly toned chest. A long necklace laid against his stomach, and you used it to pull him down to you. 

You laid back, his legs coming to rest in between yours as he crawled onto the bed to follow you. He unwrapped the necklace from his neck, putting it on his small bedside table. Using the time he was preoccupied, you pushed his underwear down his thighs, watching his face to see his reaction. 

He teasingly rolled his eyes at you. 

“Damn, woman,” he chuckled under his breath, showing his perfectly straight teeth. Beautiful man. He finished the job, kicking them off. “One track mind or what?”

Rolling your eyes back at him, you gave a quiet grin and clicked your tongue. “Whatever, Kiszka.”

But he wasn’t wrong. You wanted to see him. Fully.

And you were glad you got your way, because fuck. 

He was stunning. Even more so when you could fully see it, without the dimness of the bathroom lights at Baby's. How could a cock be so pretty?

You reached out to touch him. He shivered at the feeling of your cool skin on his heated, swollen flesh. So soft, smooth. . .thick.

Shit.

His precum was already leaking from his pretty pink tip. 

Your mouth was watering. Your need to have your hands on him clouded your every thought. 

But before you could do anything more than run your fingers over him, he was moving his body to be on top of yours, your hands falling from him. You edged up the bed, him following after you. His eyes were hungry, and his hands were purposeful and strong as he quickly unfastened your jeans, pulling them off in one smooth motion. 

Your pussy throbbed at how close it was to happening. How close you were to finally feeling him. Fulfilling the need you’d discovered too long ago. 

Taking off your cropped t-shirt as he stripped you of your panties, you hissed as your wet mound met the air of his room. You made quick work of your bra. 

He sat above you, gently cupping your bare pussy, while watching your naked chest rise and fall as you took several deep breaths, waiting. You ground into the palm of his hand, needing the friction. He then moved his hands, grazing them up your thighs, hips, waist, and finally let them settle on the outer curve of your breasts. 

Your skin grew goosebumps, your nipples hardening to peaks in the cool air of his bedroom. He seemed mesmerized. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes studying your chest with every breath you took. 

“Jake?” You whispered, breaking his stare at your breasts and making him look into your eyes. 

“Sorry,” he blinked a few times, shaking his head with a little grin, balancing his hands on either side of your head. He leaned down to give your lips a sweet kiss. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen all of you . . .,” He leaned on a forearm, and reached to your chest again, holding one breast in his hand, massaging it as his thumb skated over the nipple. “Beautiful,” he praised, looking you right in the eye. Oh, Jake.

Then, his mouth attached to the opposite breast, his lips sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to lick the nipple. 

You felt it everywhere, your toes curling at his touch. And with a sigh, you leaned into his mouth, needing more. Needing all he could give. 

“Fuck, Jake,” you whined. “Your mouth feels so good.”

And then he switched breasts, making sure to give each the same treatment. . . Holy sweet hell. You were done for. 

Your body shook, feeling your nerve endings spasm. No one else had ever stimulated you this much, this way. You didn’t know you could feel so much from a man only lapping at your chest. He was magic. 

“Jake,” you keened, your chest pushing further into his mouth. Your hips thrusting up to meet his. Fuck. With both of you having your pants off, he almost entered you at the motion. And damn the temptation was too much. “Shiiiit.”

He continued to worship your chest, and when you met his hips again, he bucked into yours, deliciously rough, matching a thrust. You felt him, hard, and fitting right between your wet folds, so close to being inside you. 

You saw stars, closing your eyes. 

Fuck.

You heard the softest groan against your breast. You looked down at him, lavishing at your supple skin. One thick brow was raised, but then he pulled them in, in concentration, as he rocked into you again. Shit. 

You couldn’t help the cry that escaped you. Or the words that followed. 

“Please, Jake. Please,” you didn’t know what you were asking for. Just needed more of him. You pushed your hands into his hair, growing confidence from your position. You pushed his face further into you, and you felt him bite at your nipple. Your hips naturally came to meet his and with all of it—fuck—your moan was pornographic. “I need you,” you pushed up, grinding your hips into his. “Here,” you did it again for emphasis, your pussy aching for him.

He released the nipple he’d been sucking with a pop. There was a snicker at your chest, and you saw the dimple in his cheek when he smirked. But before he did anything else, he moved back up your body, your chests finally touching. He had a hand still holding snug to a breast. He squeezed it once, your clit thrummed at the motion and you once again pushed your front to his. 

He kissed the column of your neck softly, trailing kisses from there, all the way to the corner of your mouth. You moved to meet your lips with his, your hand still tangled in his wavy hair. 

You kissed lazily for a few minutes, just enjoying the taste of each other. Your pussy still occasionally grazing his impossibly hard front. You’d moan into each other’s mouths every time. . .absolutely euphoric.

When you came up for air, you let yourself get lost in the chocolate pools of his irises. He was so handsome. So pretty. You couldn’t help the hand that came to hold his cheek, the other one still combing through his hair. 

He gave the corner of your mouth one more peck before he rasped, moving to give the same kiss to the swell of each of your breasts. “Your tits . . .,” he blew out a breath against your skin, making the flesh erupt in goosebumps. You sighed. “Fuck, y/n. They’re perfect. So soft and full. . .” One more kiss to each, this time with tongue. “Fuckin’ perfect.”

Then his slick tongue was moving from your chest, down your stomach, and over your right thigh. He hitched both of your legs up, to be bent at the knee. Giving him better access to what you knew he was about to do. He gave your pussy the same long look he gave your breast, admiring what was in front of him. He licked his lips at the sight. 

Your heart was racing. 

And without warning, his tongue found you, flattening on your sensitive clit. It was so hard, with only the slightest direct contact from his tongue, you were bucking your hips into his face. He used two strong hands to grasp and hold your hips to the bed, making sure to soothe your position by making wide, smooth circles with his thumbs in the hidden flushed dips between your thighs and groin. 

He then dipped his tongue to curve into the growing wetness between your folds. You gasped as he lapped at your arousal, occasionally moaning into you as he would lick. He continued like that for long enough that you weren’t sure you could see straight. Your legs were weak from your position. It was almost as if he was enjoying this—simply getting to taste you, feel you against his mouth. 

And suddenly, you felt your body begin to tremble uncontrollably, your every sense becoming heightened. The feeling of him was all-consuming. You couldn’t deny it any longer, the growing sensation in the pit of your belly threatening to give way at any moment. And he knew it. The work of his mouth became more intense, more fervorous, more hungry. His plush lips working your throbbing cunt into a frenzy until you finally gave in. 

He hardly took his mouth off of you, only enough to speak his velvet soft voice against your soaked pussy, his breath hot against the wet skin. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me have it.”

Then it hit you, harder than it ever had. You suddenly realized that you’d been deprived your entire life of this feeling, no man had ever done that to you. Let alone with just his mouth. 

You came back to, arching into him as you felt his tongue make a perfect circle around the still-tight bud of your sensitive clit. You could hardly control your tremors as your body had felt the ultimate test of ecstasy. 

Then you heard a little whimper from Jake, and you looked down through hazy eyes to see his eyebrows were drawn deeper than you’d ever seen them. 

A movement caught your eyes further down. His hips were thrusting, and with each rut of them, he kept forcefully meeting the mattress. You felt his bed shake with each jerk of his hips. Your clit twitched at the sensation of the bed rocking and his mouth on you. You could only imagine what it would be like when he was inside you. You felt the vibration of a growl against your pussy.

“Jake. . .,” you moaned. He hummed against you, which you presumed was a response to you. You hitched your hips up to meet his mouth as he curled his tongue to fit in the small hole between your folds, which gained him an involuntary shake from your body and a whine from you. He then trailed his tongue all the way up from your hidden spot, to hit the sensitive underside of your clit. You groaned loudly at the way his tongue was intermittently flicking against and massaging your overly sensitive bundle of nerves. 

He whimpered again, and his brows creased so closely together. You felt another jolt beneath you as the bed shook with a rather forceful thrust from his hips. You knew he was either really enjoying himself or was getting tired and really wanted his own release. From past experience with men, you assumed the latter. 

“Jake,” you started scooting your body up the bed. You got flashbacks to nights cut too short when you said his name like that. You knew he did, too, as his mouth lifted from you and his dark eyes met your own.

“You said you wanted this,” he grunted in response, his forehead falling to lay on your thigh in defeat.

“I do, Ja—.”

He interrupted you when he dug his fingers into your hips harder, pulling you back down to meet his slick tongue. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the feeling of him lapping at you with the force he was exuding to seemingly keep you in your spot.  

You tugged at his hair harder, trying to signal him to stop. As much as you didn’t want him to stop, it wasn’t fair for you to have all of the attention. He needed his release.

He slowly, hesitantly stopped and looked up at you, and you saw his eyes soften the slightest bit at your face. You knew you probably looked concerned, as that was how you were feeling for him. 

“Are you okay?” He lifted his body from the spot he’d been laying in between your legs. He laid his body beside yours, and his swollen cock came to heavily sit on top of your leg. 

You could have drooled at the sight of it flush against your skin. Fuck.

“You need release, too, Jake,” you combed your fingers through his hair. He wrinkled his brows at that. You continued, “I’ve already finished once; you don’t have to give me any more attention.”

He leaned back a bit, seeming offended. “You don’t want me to keep going?”

You pulled him by his shoulders, back to where he’d been, and reassured. “No, I want you to keep going—Goddamn, babe. . .but I also want to make sure you are able to feel satisfied and taken care of,” you sat up, and moved down the bed, so you were looking right at his thickness. You got him to position himself to be where you just were, his back against the headboard. You stared up at him through your lashes as you spit onto his aching head, then grasped his dick in your hand, all in one fluid motion. 

His eyelids dropped, and his Amber-brown irises darkened. You gave him one slight squeeze and you saw the muscles in his thighs tighten and his head fall back slightly. But his gaze stayed on you. 

Giving him one more pump, you rolled your thumb over the head. He groaned, but you weren’t able to give him any more attention as he flipped your body to be under his again in one swift motion. 

You squinted at him from your new position, “Why can’t I—?”

“You act as if I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing before,” he retorted, voice low and face right above yours. 

“You were obviously wanting more. You were—I wanted to help because you kept. . . thrusting into the mattress,” you blinked up into his sultry glare. “I could tell—.”

“I was fucking the mattress because I loved getting to tongue fuck the hell out of your perfect pussy,” he snapped. 

Your body tingled at his words. This man. 

But you didn’t want your desire to please him to be ignored. You reflected the glare that was still shading his features. “Why do you always have to get your way?” You argued.

He huffed, “My way?” He went down to bite the inner curve of your right breast. You moaned, feeling your nipples harden even more at the sensation. He continued his way down your body, “If I would have had my way this wouldn’t be—," You thrusted up into his stiff dick again. You smirked when he bit his lip, eyes closing to stave off your distraction. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, y/n,” his eyes bore into you, then he worked his way down to where he was, once again, settled between your legs. He gave you one lick up your folds. You whispered his name, shaking. So sensitive. So delicious. “Have I wanted your mouth on my dick for a long ass time? Fuck yes. But I’ve also wanted this again. Give me this. I want this.”

“Jake, you don’t have to say that just becau—.”

He closed his eyes and groaned. “Can you not fucking argue with me for once?” 

“Can you just fucking listen to me? I want to make sure you—.”

He forcefully entered you with one finger, his thumb reaching up to rub over your hard clit. You threw your head back, looking down at him with lust clouding your vision. You wanted to be angry with him for interrupting you, but dammit . . . you just couldn’t be. 

He pumped it in and out a few times before putting the finger in his mouth, closing his eyes and moaning. “You taste so fuckin’ delicious, baby.”

His usage of the pet name made your brain short circuit for a few seconds, but you got distracted from it because suddenly, his face was back, right above yours. His forearms caged you in, on either side of your head. His hair was draping around you like a curtain. It felt so familiar. . .so wonderful.

And now, you knew it was about to happen. 

You felt the head of his cock at your entrance, just as you had at Baby’s. 

But this time. . .this time it was different. So different. You couldn’t pinpoint how or why—it just was.

You looked down to where your bodies were so close to finally connecting. When you looked into his eyes, you noticed he was waiting for you. 

For some reason, you felt as though he’d been studying your face while you were looking away. He seemed so content to simply be watching you, waiting for you, until you found his eyes. 

When your eyes met his, you saw the smile that filled his amber-brown irises. It was a sweet moment that felt like it would forever be locked in time. You stayed there, him above  you. And somehow, you knew he was waiting for permission. So, you nodded your head. 

And without a second thought, his eyes still honing in on yours, he entered you. 

You could’ve sang, you were so relieved to feel him like this. Finally. 

“So fucking tight,” he grunted, letting his tip meet your most secret spot inside. Ohhh yeah. You wanted to fuckin’ purr.

It had been awhile . . . and Jake had noticed by your tightness. But as he rolled his hips the slightest bit, helping you adjust, hitting you right where you needed him, deep inside—there was no questioning that the man knew what the hell he was doing. 

Just like your thoughts earlier tonight. . .he was a natural. 

You continued to wince a little, since he was so thick. It took a second to stretch to his size, and he let you, moving around enough from inside to help you. But he felt so damn good, you didn’t want to stay like that for too long. You needed more. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, needing to feel closer to him. His hair tickled the back of your hand.

Though, when you’d looked back at his face, his eyes were stuck on you, seeming to be caught in a trance, a relaxed, loose grin fitting to his pink lips.

You moved your hips just a bit. He felt you move, and he seemed to come back, his eyes locking in on your lips. He gave into the urge, kissing you, letting his tongue explore your mouth briefly, you doing the same to his mouth.

Then, when you came up for air, breathing so hard, you shared this look. Such fondness behind the gaze. It was almost too much. But like all things with Jake, it felt right.

You played with the ends of his hair, where your arms were crossed at his back. Maybe you could stay like this forever. 

But then he moved out slowly, and pushed back into you, hard and to the hilt. You felt his balls hit the bottom of your ass and you almost crossed your eyes at the ecstasy of it all. 

He rocked into you like that a few more times, a little slower, moving steadily. 

Then he switched things up. 

He held your body up, his dick still firmly inside of you as he sat up on his knees, leaning back on his heels. He balanced your ass on his thighs and pushed a pillow up behind you, sitting you up, your back against the headboard. Your legs moved of their own accord to be on either side of his hips.  

The position had you completely open to him, as your legs were spread wide, his cock pulsing inside of you. He bit his lip, focusing. It was like he was admiring a piece of art, not able to take his eyes from it. Deep in thought. 

And all of a sudden, you felt extremely vulnerable. Every piece of you on full display, save for your backside which sat perfectly on his bare thighs. So, still. He had every piece of you open to him, around him, or on top of him.

You almost spoke, but he beat you to it. 

“You are so fucking beautiful, y/n. Dammit,” he said with awe laced beautifully in his raspy voice, hitched on his next words. “This is— you are . . .,” he shook his head, and was never able to come up with the words. Instead, he just continued to let his eyes graze over you.

You felt your entire body heat at his words, the intimacy of all this. You felt emotional hearing the words, being like this with him. It was the most open and vulnerable you’d felt with a man in a long time (maybe ever), and he was seeming to treasure it just as much as you. 

His hands held your waist as you tangled a hand in his hair, and looped one arm over his shoulders - both of your chests heaving, needy.

He then brought you forward, until your clit was positioned to rub right below his belly button. You gasped at the full change in position, his cock as deep as it could go. You used the new angle as leverage and went onto the pads of your feet, raising off of him briefly, and then you slowly sank back down onto his throbbing length.

The moan he let out was heavenly. It made you feel like you were on top of the world, the way his mouth hung open. You continued to rise, and sink back down. Long and slow motions that helped you both to feel all of each other. Once you got more confident, you started swiveling your hips as you started to bounce on top of him. 

After a few more swings of your hips, he used his hold on your waist and lifted you off of him. 

You unabashedly let out a small cry at the loss of him inside you, but you moved with him. You positioned yourself to be on all fours, ass facing him— going with his motions and assuming that’s what he wanted. 

The hiss you heard leave his mouth when you were in position, and the way he kneaded your plush ass cheeks with his calloused fingertips made you smirk with victory. You knew exactly what he wanted. 

“You like that?” You breathed at him, wiggling your round ass at him, grinding back on his hardness. You felt him quiver at your movement. Then you felt a hard smack against your right asscheek. “Fuck— Jake!”

He soothed the spot, massaging it the slightest bit, and before you had time to fully process the first hit, he went in for another slap on the other cheek. 

You jolted with a squeak, surprised, but fully welcoming it. 

Fuck yeah. Did he like things rough? If so, you were here for it. 

Tossing your hair over your shoulder, you pointedly made eye contact with his hooded gaze. He had a knowing smirk on his face, matching your own expression. 

He gave you two more slaps, one for each side, and this time you felt the cold metal of his rings with the hits. Oh fuck. 

You pushed back on him, wanting more. His thick cock, snug between your sore cheeks at this angle. 

But instead, he flipped you to lay on your back again. Where was this strength coming from? Dear God. 

How easily he maneuvered your body, wherever he wanted it to go. . . You bit your lip. Fuck. It was like you were his little instrument, moving you every which way, like he threw his guitar behind his head so effortlessly—that was you right now. 

Your core convulsed at the thought. 

Jake set an arm next to your head, and the other above, almost cradling it to not hit the headboard. Then he sunk his pulsing dick into your waiting, dripping cunt. At this point, you were getting fairly acquainted with his size, so you grabbed his perfectly round backside, burying him the deepest he could be in you. 

You also used this position to sway your hips up, each stroke on his dick intentional. Throwing in a little trick of yours, you tightened your muscles to grip his length with each roll of your hips, making him fit even more snug, inside of you. 

“Oh baby,” he groaned at the feeling, the first time you did it. And after a few more, he tapped your hip. “If you don’t stop, I’m not gonna last.”

He was trembling above you. His arm was shaking next to your head. 

“Y/n, baby—fuck,” he grunted, tapping at your hip harder. He wasn’t ready to be done. Neither were you. So you tapped him right back, motioning for him to move off of you. 

After he’d moved, you went to lay partially on your side and partially on your belly. You lifted your ass to indicate you were ready. And in one smooth move, his chest was against your back, his arms back where they were before, but in the new position. He slowly slid in, feeling out the new angle. 

You loved it. One of your new favorites. 

“I love this fuckin’ view of you, y/n,” he groaned, his breath hitting your shoulder. “And the way you feel like this—goddamn.”

He was filling you up, all the way, except this time, you had the combined feeling of him inside, while his smooth sac hit your pussy with each languid pump of his hips. 

You watched how his bicep and fist flexed at the same time, with each thrust, so purposeful. 

Damn him for being so sexy.

His hips started moving quicker, almost of their own accord. And before you knew it, he was pounding into you, his balls slapping hard against you. 

The sounds—the way it felt— perfection.

Your toes curled. Ecstasy. He kept hitting your hidden spot inside; your clit was getting friction from his sheets; and the back of your pussy was getting attention, too. Fuck. This position was going in the books.

Without warning, you felt the arm next to you move, his hand going to sweep swift circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“Jaaaake,” you whined, sounding completely pathetic. Sweat was beading at your forehead. Your folds were spasming, your pussy ready to let go. “Fuck, baby.”

You couldn’t hold it anymore. All of it combined—the loud slaps of flesh, the sweat, his hand, the pressure of his pretty dick stretching your tender pussy- hitting every part of you—damn.

You came for the second time that night with a curl from your hands and toes, and a loud sob.

“Doing so good, y/n,” he pushed his chest closer to your back, feeling your release against his hand and helping you ride the wave. And all of a sudden, his hips started rutting, so erratically against your ass, his dick pulsing inside with each roll of his hips. “I’m gonna—where do you—fuck! Y/n—.”

Shit. You almost forgot. You weren’t on the pill. You’d just gone off a few months ago. Shit shit shit shit.

Momentarily snapping from your hazy afterglow, you grasped his hip. “Dammit—on my back!” 

Thankfully, he pulled out in time, and with a small moan from his perfect lips, hot spurts of his cum met your back, shiny from sweat. 

After, he laid above you, one shaking arm still above you, the other now holding your tummy. Okay, now you hated this position. You couldn't easily flip to see his face. And you wanted to see him.

He made quick work of reaching for his T-shirt from earlier to clean off your back. 

“Wanna see your face,” he sighed, rubbing at your shoulder. 

You grinned at the sentiment, wanting so desperately to see him, too. So, you rolled onto your back, letting an arm fall above your head, and the other lay across your stomach, replacing where his had been. In a daze, you watched him as he cleaned up his cock, still glistening from your climax. 

Changing your line of sight, you let yourself watch his face as he cleaned himself. His lips were slightly parted, his top lip curled a bit to show some of his top row of teeth. He was focused. And damn he looked good like that. 

But you already knew that. 

Finally, he was done, and he threw the shirt over the side of the bed, joining the pile of clothes on the ground. 

He went to lay just as you had, but with extended an arm for you to curl into.

You should have left. Gone back to your room. You’d gotten what you wanted.

And this was wrong. If it went too far, it could seriously hurt Jake. Make Josh impossibly angry with you for corrupting his brother. . .

But before you could even begin to move, focus too hard on any reasonable thought whatsoever, your head filled with Elsie’s voice, wise with the conversation you’d had that day, in the entryway. 

“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She’d scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”

You glanced up at his face, his eyes drooping to follow the sleep you were also craving. His lids fluttered against his smooth skin - his sharp features. Yeah, you were good on that, still . . . no emotional attachment. But he was nice to look at.

Your voice from that day sprang to your mind, fighting.

“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she’d gasped at your insult to her idea. And you’d leveled her with a stare. “And you know it.”

“I do, I do,” she’d reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”

You looked to his hands, drumming mindlessly against his hard, tanned stomach. His mouth hummed an unknown tune. You wanted to sink into him. But you knew you could cut it off. You were a pro at that.

“You think I could do that?” You hadn’t been able to believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 

(And here you were doing it again.)

“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She’d blinked at you, almost innocently with her savage plan leaving her lips. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”

So, you used your sister’s words from the past as your pass to let yourself be exactly where you wanted to be right now: in his warm, safe, strong arms. It had been now one time. You'd given it a shot. . .

But what if . . .?

And just as you settled into him, your cheek resting on his toned pec, his heart beating steadily underneath, you heard the last of Elsie’s words from that conversation, inspiring you even more to do this. 

To force some substance on this otherwise ridiculous, horrible idea. 

She’d glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 

And that was all you needed in that sweet, quiet moment, letting yourself cozy up, right into Jake’s chest. . .feeling him kiss the crown of your head. 

Tomorrow could worry about itself.

Because right now? Right now, you were the most blissed out - the most comfortable you’d ever been. 

You weren’t fucking ready to lose this yet, dammit.

And as you drifted off, seconds later, his soft snores lulling you peacefully, you could only hope that he wasn’t ready to lose this—whatever the hell this was—yet, either. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i'm so ready to share what's coming... i wish i could tell you guys (gn)!! it's killingggg me. anywayssss... please let me know your thoughts! you know i love hearing from you all :) &lt;3

(I will say, I've been giving sporadic hints from the first chapter of what's to come. . . hmmm. who thinks they can guess what's going to turn Reader's life upside down?)

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!

& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)

Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf

#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka smut #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet fanfic #jake fic #jake kiszka #covet #my fics

[cellythefloshie]

;; Cruel Summer Dedicated to @snugglyducklingbrewhouse for her birthday bingo

Summary: There was nothing more you looked forward to than summer after a long academic year of studies. You and your best friend are set to hit the road for a cross-country road trip, but with her comes her boyfriend, Jack Hughes, and with him his best friend and college hockey captain Nico Hischier - who just happens to be the bane of your college existence. M's Bingo Card Tropes: Taylor Swift Song AU - Enemies to Lovers - Summer / Off-season - Roommates - College AU - Sharing a Bed Kinks & TW: unprotected sex (are we surprised?) - pull out method (please don't rely on this at all it will fail you), morning sex, casual sex, hook-ups, secret relationship, situationship, drunk confessions Word Count: 7k+ A/N: We haven't been a part of each other's communities long, but you have been nothing but a welcome presence since! I am so happy that I am able to celebrate your birthday with you with this fic! I stepped out of my comfort zones a lot with this one by writing for Nico and using Taylor's Cruel Summer as the main inspiration for the fic. And somehow I managed to roll all of those amazing tropes into one fic! Happy Birthday, Hun! I hope you enjoy! 🎉 I also made a quick Pinterest board for the vibes. Playlist.

With final exams behind you, there was nothing more that you were looking forward to than summer. The warmth of the sun, the carefree freedom that was already ready to consume every bit of you as you left all your responsibilities behind you. There was nothing better than the summer vacation after a hectic academic season, especially after the stressful junior year you had. The stress of your studies aside, you could have considered it to be a great year, that was if it hadn’t been for your roommate. 

At the beginning of the term, you and your best friend had decided that you wanted to live off campus. Tired of the dorm life there was nothing more exciting than having your own place, but that came with a great cost - which meant rooming with more people than just your best friend. The three-bedroom duplex apartment you have been able to secure not far from campus was perfect, especially since your best friend had gotten her boyfriend, Jack Hughes, to room with her - but that had left a spare room to be filled. And Jack had taken the liberty of offering it to his college hockey captain: Nico Hischier. 

This hadn’t been an issue at first. He was easy enough on the eyes that you didn't complain, but it quickly become clear that the two of you weren’t going to get along. He seemed to know how to press all of your buttons, your days starting and ending with snide comments or heated arguments that left you both returning to your respective rooms - and you couldn’t wait to put that all behind you. 

With summer, you could leave that animosity behind you. You wouldn’t have to see him until you both returned for your senior year in the fall. That thought alone excited you as you packed a single duffle bag, but what excited you more was the trip you and your bestie had planned to take. You had been looking forward to it for months. The two of you had rented a van - one of those ones with the small bed and kitchen in the back. You were going to travel the country together, take in the sights and monuments the great country of America offered you. But the excitement quickly faded as you threw your bag over your shoulder and made your way down to the van that waited in the driveway. 

You wore a smile as you spotted your best friend throwing her back into the back, but then it wavered as she tossed in one bag and then another. Your lips parted to call out to her, but your throat was left weak at the sight in front of you. The devils and angels had been gambling with your happiness as with your bestie came her boyfriend Jack and with him Nico. Your biggest college nemesis would be joining you on what was supposed to be your greatest escape from him. 

Most nights, the four of you piled into the back of the van. You would all sleep stuffed into the cot, elbows bent into backs and uncomfortably hot as you found yourself venturing into the southern states. It left tensions high, and you constantly on edge, especially when Nico tested the boundaries of just how much room he was allowed to take up on the bed. He was by far the biggest of the four of you, standing at 6’1 - a whole 2 inches taller than Jack - and broad with muscle he seemed to take up more and more room as the nights went on. It sent your blood boiling as you fought him on it, as it sent Jack closer to the center of the bed, and your best friend further into you,  and in turn you were forced closer to the wall of the van. It left you claustrophobic and struggling through sleepless nights so finally after mere days of driving the four of you agreed to check into a motel for a proper night of sleep. 

What the four of you couldn’t agree on was the sleeping arrangements. With your best friend dating Jack she was quick to state they would be sharing a room, but you couldn’t afford a room all to yourself and that only meant sharing with Nico. You were far from interested in that. 

“We could share a room, and the boys could share a room,” you insisted, your arms coming to cross your chest as you leaned up against the van, “it’s not like they haven’t shared a room before - and we used to share a bed all the time-”

“Tell us more,” Jack was wearing a wide grin as he grabbed his bag from the back, earning a displeased groan from your lips. 

“You wish Hughes,” you scoffed at him and looked at your best friend with pleading eyes. She had to be able to see this from your perspective. She had to understand why you couldn’t stand to spend another moment with Nico never mind having to share a room with him. “Do me a solid, just this once-”

But her mind was clouded by one thing, and one thing only. Sex. You could see it on her face as a blush crept up onto her features and her words became a soft, unapologetic, “sorry.” And you couldn’t blame her. The pair of them were like two love-sick puppies that fucked like rabbits, and they hadn’t been able to fuck since the four of you had left Newerk - though you were sure Jack had finger-fucked her at least once when they thought you were asleep in the passenger’s seat during Nico’s turn to drive. 

As much as you wanted to protest, to stop your foot and throw a tantrum because Nico wasn’t even supposed to be on this trip you conceded and pointed a finger at Hughes and narrowed your eyes, “You owe me one.”

“We’ll make it up to you,” his smile didn’t waiver as he tossed your bag at you, and locked up the back doors of the van before the couple ran off to one of the two rooms Nico had gone to the front desk to secure. 

They left you both to stand in the parking lot, a standoff of sorts as he held up the remaining key. “I’m about as excited about this as you are.” Which meant he was dreading it fully, with his entire being. He’d rather die than have to be rooming with you on the road, and yet you both stood there, full of life but seething. 

“One room?”

“Yup.”

“One bed?”

“Yup,” Nico answered again, and you could have sworn you saw the corner of his lip threaten to curl up into a smirk. 

“Fuck me,” you groaned out as you reached out to snag the key from his hand, but he pulled it back, just out of your reach. Hearing your words sent his smirk blossoming into a full grin now. 

“Keep dreaming,” and when he said your name, you were on the verge of letting out an annoyed scream. 

“I wouldn’t fuck you if we were the last people on the planet and the fate of humanity was solely up to you and me,” you assured him. 

“If we were the last people on the planet, it wouldn’t be long until you were the only one left-”

Your lips curled up into a smirk of your own as your stepped forward, “Let’s play a little bit of pretend, shall we? Our planet is the hotel room, and it’s just you and me alone on that planet - so why don’t you just fuck off, sleep in the van and let me enjoy the bed.”

“Not a chance,” his eyes narrowed, “if you want the van, go right ahead but I’m not missing out on sleeping in a bed even if it means having to share it with you.” 

You had dipped into your saving to be able to cover your share of the room, you weren’t going to concede for a second time. “Just get us in the room for fuck sake, I want a real shower.”

In an instant, you knew you should have bit your tongue as Nico’s dark gaze had risen to meet your and there was a flicker of light in them that sparked like the ignition of a flame. A shower. A real shower. No one had one in days. You were sure you stunk. You knew he did. And now you would be fighting him for it. 

You couldn’t fight Nico for the key. Not with how he towered over you, and not with how the strength of his hands had fisted the key in his palm for safekeeping. Holding it down by his side, he stalked off in search of the room, but you never let him get too far out of your reach. For as soon as you heard the lock of the door disengage you had thrown a shoulder into his chest in a desperate attempt to shove him out of the way. Yet, he barely budged. Hell, you hadn’t even thrown him off balance. The only thing you had managed to do was coax a smile onto his lips as he leaned into the door, the heavy weight of him easing it open. 

Stumbling in after him, you reached your hands out to give him a good shove. Your palms met the plains of his back, your breath catching in your throat as you felt the strength of him flex beneath your touch. It was almost enough to have you conceding, your mind suddenly clouded when it shouldn’t have been. You had lived with each other for the entirety of a semester. You knew how strong he was. You had seen it when he had worn a tight t-shirt to class or had caught a glimpse of him as he made the short walk from the bathroom to his bedroom in nothing but a towel when he was sure no one would notice - because if there was one thing he was that you didn’t really mind, it was that he was modest. 

He didn’t flaunt himself around the house or the campus like the other players seemed to. His appointment of being the team Captain didn’t go to his head either. He respected his position and accepted any and all responsibilities that came with it. He didn’t even use it as a way to get girls to come back to the house - hell, had you ever seen him bring a girl home at all? 

It was a thought that left your brows furrowed as you battle him along the path towards the bathroom. You would push him, and he would shove you back - but his hands were careful, calculated in just where he touched you. Finding your waist at its curves or against the back of your shoulder as he tried to move you out of his way. But neither of you would concede. Not even as you both tried to jam your way through the bathroom door. Your bodies collided, pressed firm together at your sides and earning an exasperated sigh from both of your lips. 

Groaning you let out a sigh as you turned just enough so that your back was pressed against the cold frame. Nico did the same but stretched an arm across the doorway to grip at the frame as he tower over you. Suddenly you felt claustrophobic and small as he looked down over you, his dark hair hanging into his eyes and his smile crooked - conniving. 

“Hischier,” you swallowed hard, challenging him with nothing but his name. What was he thinking?

Whatever it was, you didn’t wait long enough to find out. You wanted to shower, and you were going to be the first one to indulge in it. Even if that meant stooping low. Easing away from the door, you inch dangerously close to Nico, giving yourself just enough room to reach down and draw your shirt up over your head. Then you reached down to your shorts, thumbing the button free before letting them fall to the floor before you were standing there in nothing but your bra and panties. 

You watched as his face softened, his dark gaze raising just enough for you to know you had some kind of effect on him. Cocking your head, you smiled, pressing up onto your toes just enough to mutter up to him, your words hot against his cheek, “I’ll try to leave some hot water for you. Now, be a gentleman and shut the door.” 

Ducking under his arm you sauntered off into the bathroom with your bag in hand and a bit of a hop in your step. You would celebrate every single one of your little victories. 

With Nico’s silent surrender, you heard the door close behind you and you let yourself undress and relish under the heated embrace of the water - but you did keep the shower quick. It was the least you could do when he was nice enough to concede when you challenged him. 

Exiting the bathroom, you were dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of barely there shorts. You had hoped that you would be able to sleep without pants for the first time in days but there was no way that was going to happen now. Nico wasn’t about to get a free show, not from you. 

“There’s still hot water there for you,” you told Nico firmly as you moved for the bed and crawled up onto the side of the bed that was left for you. 

It wasn’t the side you normally slept on, but you weren’t going to fight him on it. You had gotten to shower first, so he could have his preferred side of the bed. You settled into the bed, it was stiff and the sheets a bit scratchy but it would do. Anything was better than sleeping in the van at this point. 

You had hoped to be asleep before Nico had come out of the shower, but the rush of the water in the next room was all too loud and you couldn’t get comfortable. Worst of all, when the tattooing of the water against the tub had seized, your discomfort only intensified when Nico had come to bed. You could feel his heat radiating across the safe distance you had both agreed upon - a good foot of mattress that left you both sleeping on the very edge - and to your distaste he had decided to sleep shirtless. 

Every opportunity you felt sleep had to take you, you ruined it with one accidental glance over at Nico who fell asleep all too quickly at your side. You would catch a glimpse of his soft features, or the flex of his all-too-impressive muscles and it would leave you tossing and turning in bed in a desperate attempt to get comfortable. But your mind continued to haunt you: How unfair it was to have someone so irritable look like that?

Scoffing to yourself you curled up with your back to him. You thought of literally anything else but him in an attempt to bring yourself to a state where maybe, just maybe you would be able to fall asleep - but Nico had found yet another way to keep you awake. He was talking in his sleep. 

You let out a long, agonized groan as you took your pillow and shoved it over your face. You would have to go out and sleep in the van at this rate. 

Rolling over you contemplated waking him up, but the shimmer of sweat on his skin and hardening of his features was almost enough to leave you concerned. Was it a nightmare? You leaned in, encroaching on the space between you both, a careful hand coming to rest on his shoulder - it was then his lips parted, muttering an almost silent word before you heard something all too familiar: your name. Nico was dreaming about you. You swallowed hard, your eyes widening in shock before falling back into their heavily lidded state. That had to be a coincidence. Maybe you had heard him wrong. 

That was what you told yourself as you settled back into your place in bed. And with a final huff sleep crept on you, one final thought on your mind: If he was dreaming of you, you hoped it was a nightmare. 

Come morning, the space at the center of the bed no longer existed. Your bodies had both moved inwards on the surface to avoid tumbling over the edge in the night - and with that, your bodies had become intertwined. You could feel Nico against your back,  his legs tangled with yours, and you could feel the stiffness of his cock pressed up the back of your thigh. For a moment you almost forgot that it was Nico in bed next to you, a faint smile on your lips as you wiggled your hips back into his cock. His cock was impressive, to say the least, the outline of it felt so clear as he snuggled a little closer - but as Nico cuddled in close you caught a breath of the unique scent of him and it sent your heart plummeting. 

This was the worst-case scenario - and you hadn’t even thought once that it might happen. You couldn’t hate yourself more than you did at the moment as you shifted just enough to press your ass into the girth of his cock. And you chastised yourself for it, disgusted with your own actions as you wiggled and pressed yourself against Nico to feel all of him. He would notice, he was still asleep - and with how carefully and subtly you moved you hoped in the off chance that he did wake up that he would think you were still sleeping too. 

But then you felt a hot, heavy breath blossom out and over your shoulder and the strength of his arms was coiling around you like a boa constrictor. Nico had been awake the whole time. You should have pulled away at the realization, but instead, you were frozen, petrified as he leaned in and nuzzled his face into your hair. Then, with sleep still heavy on him, he leaned in and placed a lazy kiss on your neck. And when he finally spoke you could hear the amusement in his words, “I won’t tell them if you don’t.”

For a moment, you think it might be some kind of joke. Something that will end with him peeling away from you with laughter at your willingness if you were to agree with him. A cruel joke for him to play, but then you feel his hips as he presses his hips up against your ass as if you hadn’t felt his hard-on already. It was that action, that really had you entertaining the idea of letting him fuck you. You really should have, not with how much you loathed him, and not with how much he loathed you. He was all around intolerable, you knew it. Everyone knew it - and yet, when he shifted just enough to ease his cock from his boxers and ease it into the small triangle of space between your thighs and clothed cunt you were caving. 

“For fuck sake, Nico,” you groaned out, using his first name for the first time. It felt foreign as it slipped off your tongue, having only exclusively addressed him by his last name until that moment as he slowly fucked that space between your thighs and your judgement waivered. 

“Is that a yes?” he spoke against the sensitive skin of your neck, his voice low, sultry hum that left your arousal puddling between your legs. 

Your head cocked, “You won’t say anything?” 

“Not a damn word,” he promised, angling his hips just right to press the head of his cock up against the sensitivity of your clit as thrust lazily. 

You had to bite your lip to combat the shutter that threatened to crawl up your spine and the soft sound that would have left your lips with it. Fuck, what an embarrassing thing it was to be so desperately wet for him - but he was hard for you, and something now was telling you that the dream that left him muttering your name in the night was no nightmare, but a sex dream. You almost smiled. Almost. But you didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. This was nothing but an agreement of convenience. 

“Then stop teasing me and fuck me properly, or did you need me to teach you how to do that?” Even in bed, you wouldn’t let your rivalry wouldn’t subside. 

Drawing back, Nico was free of the space between your legs and he had given you just enough room to roll over and push the flimsy fabric of your panties down the length of your legs. You didn’t even think to discard your shirt until you were climbing into his lap, taking the dominant position on top of him, and meeting him at the mouth. 

You had never considered kissing Nico. Not once, not ever. But now as you were, feeling his soft lips against your own, and tasting his morning breath - which really wasn’t all that bad - in your mouth you started to question why it had never crossed your mind. He was a very attractive man after all, and he was very, very good at it - not that you could have predicted that when you seemed to do nothing but challenge and throw childish insults at one another. 

The caress of his tongue against your own left you melting into him, your hands exploring the shape of his body - something you hadn’t done so much as catch glimpses of before. You could feel every ripple of his muscle as his hands moved to hold you just right, and every twitch of his cock as you let your hips roll up and down the length of him without taking him inside you. It left his coated in the slick of your arousal, sending tingles down to your toes, but you were impatient - and your best friend would be too when they would be kept waiting on the both of you. 

Reaching down between the both of you, you took hold of his cock in your hand and stroked it slowly. Nico let out a soft sound against your lips, coaxing a smile onto your lips as you guided him to the entrance of your cunt and eased yourself down onto him. His cock stretched out in all the best ways, sending a burn of pleasure to spread throughout your body in a heatwave as you rode him in a steady rhythm. 

For a time, you thought Nico was just going to fall into submission. That he was going to let you ride him hard and steady as you would your fingers into his messy hair and relish in how you tugged it - but you could always count on Nico to challenge you. His large hands spread over your hips, lulling you into the false sense that he was going to help guide you up and down the length of his cock but he was only trying to find his leverage. Soon, he was holding you firmly in his hands, flipping you so that your back was against the bed - and not once had his cock left you to feel void. 

You could feel every inch of him with every thrust as his large hands guided your legs up to wrap around his hips. The simple action had left your lips parting to protest him - there was something too intimate about missionary, the last thing you wanted was to be looking him straight in the face as he fucked you - but your words were silenced completely by a moan. He was bringing pleasure to you that the frat boy hookups you had collected during your time in college could only dream of bringing you. 

It left you reeling against the mattress, your head thrown back into the pillows as you reached out to grasp at anything to ground you. The mattress, the T-shirt that still hung off your body, and Nico. You clung to Nico as if he was the very source of your gravity. Your hands found his shoulders, clutching at his strength desperately as your legs wound around his middle. Heels pressed into his back and the pressure of his weight against your inner thighs as each deep thrust tested the depth of your flexibility but you were desperate to take him to your limits. 

It left your head spinning as the pleasure of him fucking you - and not just fucking you, fucking you hard. His every thrust fueled with every ounce of animosity the two of you had held since September - threw you into ecstasy, your mouth agape with a silent moan as you refused to give him the satisfaction of hearing you - and you could not risk anyone hearing you both from outside the motel door. 

But Nico wasn’t as discrete. His lips parted in a soft moan that had you drawing him into you to place one last hungry kiss on his lips before he was pulling back and pulled out of you. His face was soft, completely and utterly relaxed as he took hold of his cock and stroked it until his cum had shot out over the thin fabric of your oversized t-shirt. 

It left you cursing. You slept in that shirt more often than you would like to admit, and now it was going to be a mess you had to hide - but at least he hadn’t cum inside you. 

Pulling off the shirt, you stepped into the bathroom to clean yourselves up in silence. You shared nothing more than careful glances as you dressed and you didn’t speak to one another until you were both standing at the motel room door, staring at it as if it were going to open itself. 

“This never happened?” You quirked a brow up at him. 

“What never happened?” he met your gaze, his face expressionless but you could see the playful smile that lingered in his dark eyes.

“Exactly,” you breathed out and reached for the handle. 

You were both hit with the blinding light of the morning, your eyes squinting before you could pull your sunglasses down to shield them. You tried to keep your head down, to make your way to the van with the hope that Jack and your best friend had yet to finish up your own fun - but it was that very pair that greeted you, her voice all too chipper for you to be happy about so early in the morning, “we were starting to think you killed each other- 

Groaning, you opened the side door of the van and tossed your bag into the back. It wasn’t abnormal for you to be irritable in the morning, you were in no way a morning person, but the last thing you wanted to talk about was Nico. Especially when you could still feel the ghost of his touch on your body, and the heat of him as he trapped you between his body and the van as he reached around you to toss your own bad inside. Sure, you could pretend he hadn’t just fucked the life out of you, but it wasn’t going to be something you forgot about. Not when your legs were still on the verge of trembling and not when you could feel Nico’s eyes dragging over the curves of your body - undoubtedly admiring how you looked in the little sundress you had put on. 

He would have to get better at hiding that stare of his. Climbing into the back of the van you let yourself glance back at Nico, your eyes meeting his as your lips pressed into a firm line to suppress that smile you wanted to give him It was then you finally answered your best friend, “Yeah, well, there’s still time.”

The rest of the summer had been cruel. Both June and July had been heated, and not just because of the rising temperatures. As you travelled from state to state you teetered on the tightrope walk of secrecy you had created with Nico. Since the two of you had shared the bed back in at the cheap motel there was no ignoring the magnetic draw you had towards one another. Don’t get it wrong, you still hated him - or at least that’s what you told yourself as you travelled across the country with him, your best friend and Jack. 

The two of you would start fights just for the hell of it. The arguments were mundane and heated to distract your friends and yourselves from the lingering glances the two of your found yourself sharing, or the lingering of his hand against your thigh as you both sat in the back seats and you were sure your friend and Jack couldn’t see a damn thing - and not once did they think anything was going on between the two of you because on the surface nothing had changed. 

It was in secret, between breaths and late nights that you and Nico had stolen your moments. Time in time again the two of you would sneak away - sometimes it was Jack and your best friend that left you alone when they would sneak off for some shameless fun of their own - to break the tension that would build in the hours, minutes and seconds from the last time you would have indulged in one another. It was a whirlwind of emotion to go from fighting one moment to having Nico’s hands on your body the next. It was an exhilaration you chased right down to the very last day of your trip. 

You relished in every moment of no-rule, no-strings-attached affection the two of you indulge yourselves in over your 100 days of summer. Even now as you sipped back your drink in the dim light of the dive bar you frequented on campus you struggled to forget the hookups and makeup sessions that had been the highlights of your summer fling. 

Shutting your eyes, you sighed out, the memories so clear as you let your mind wander. You could remember so clearly how the two of you had stood in the warm embrace of the van’s bright headlights, your silhouettes stretching out over the motel’s brick walls. You were mere feet apart, the spotlight on you keeping you at bay as you exchanged subtle glances. His dark eyes left you melting, your heart racing with excitement as your best friend and Jack had already run off to their motel room. You and Nico had put on your usual charade, protesting about having to share a room with one another again. It had become a version of foreplay more than anything as when the van’s headlights dimmed, and his features were left aglow from the buzzing light that flickered above the nearby vending machines there was no stopping the two of you. 

His gaze had dropped, his lips curling up into the cocky smirk he often found himself wearing when it was just the two of you before the space between you was stolen and he was pressing you back against the hood of the van and kissing you. The kiss had been far from chaste. There was always an insatiable hunger the two of you shared, one that could only be combatted by the touch of his hand against your skin, or the taste of his tongue in your mouth. You remembered it all so fondly, and you wish you hadn't because it left you to drown your longing in your drink as you watched Nico as he leaned up against the bar. His features were illuminated by the neon glow of the neon bar lights. He was entertaining the attention of a pretty girl, one that had been shamelessly flirting with him for the last 45 minutes - not that you were counting or anything. 

Upon arriving back on campus after your summer-long adventure together your secret summer fling had been left behind. It was easier that way, at least that was what you told him. You needed to focus on your studies, and he was juggling his college hockey career and maintaining a high enough GPA not to get kicked from the team. With your responsibilities aside, it had been a relationship of convenience, you had been stuck with him all summer, so it just made sense. Right?

That thought didn’t make the jealousy any less tolerable as your empty glass met the tabletop and you excused yourself to get some fresh air. You had thought the crisp autumn breeze would have been enough to calm you. That it would ease the race of your mind and draw you from the void you felt aching deep in your chest. But the chill only brought attention to how you missed the warmth of his body against your own and it left you sinking to the ground, your head in your hands as you sat on the curb as you let out a sob. 

As much as you tried to hide it, the crying drew the attention of those outside taking long drags of cigarettes and those coming and going from the bar. There was a time nobody would have given a damn. When they would have just passed you without looking twice, but you were best friends with Jack Hugh’s girlfriend and no longer got to slip beneath the radar. 

It only took a few minutes for your best friend to come running out of the bar, her face blanketed with concern and Jack in tow. Even he, who seemed to be the embodiment of smiles and sunshine, had let his face go soft. They had never seen you like this before. Your name was a mere echo in your mind as your best friend’s voice echoed in your mind. 

“Hun, what’s wrong?” she spoke out to you in a soft tone, her hands on your shoulders as she tried to get you to look at her, “did something happen?”

“No, no,” you shook your head, your hands raising to wipe your cheeks free of your tears, “I’m fine, really.”

It was a lie. You knew it. They knew it, but you refused to tell them the truth. You couldn’t exactly tell them that you hated seeing Nico with someone else. Not when they thought you hated him - not while you were still trying to convince yourself you hated him too, but there was a very thin line between love and hate and you had broken it. 

Through vision blurred by your tears, you watched as Jack and your best friend exchanged worried looks, and without exchanging a single word they had reached a decision. “Com’on let’s get you home,” your friend sighed, her arms wrapped around your shoulder to help you into a standing position, and when she spoke again you almost vomited, “Jack, go get Nico-”

“No!” You blurted out, your eyes wide and your stomach in knots. 

And they don’t question it, because why would they? To them, you hated Nico and leaving him behind had always been something you had been advocated for - especially since that often meant you had more time away from him. Yet, it didn’t stop Jack from going back into the bar as your best friend helped you into the back seat of the car where she would sit with you for the duration of the ride home. Her hand stroked over your hair, her arms keeping you pulled into her as you couldn’t shake the cries that consumed you. 

You choked back each sob, your face burying into your friend's shoulder as Jack, who was always your designated driver, drove through the campus traffic and back to the house. But it didn’t stop the tears from leaving the hot trails down your cheeks and you couldn’t ignore how Nico’s stare had been fixed on the rearview mirror that was angled just right for him to take in the sight of you. With just a single glance at the mirror, you were left to fight a shiver that threatened to travel up your spine. You didn’t like the way he was looking at you. It wasn’t with annoyance, frustration or anger for pulling him away from the nightlife, but instead, he was looking at you with concern. 

Feeling the heavy weight of his stare on you for the duration of the car ride, you were quick to get out of the car the moment it had been thrown into park. Your limbs felt numb, and your heart was racing. Your tears had seized, but you had been thrown into a flight response. Quick steps carried you up the driveway as you pleaded with your friend. Your words assured her that you were fine as you abandoned them in the driveway and disappeared through the gates of the garden. 

You were welcomed by the garden that had already welcomed the embrace of autumn. Flowers wilted, and leaves began to change into brilliant shades of red, orange and gold before tumbling to the ground with the gentle embrace of the breeze. It sent a chill through your body as you settled yourself down on one of the garden benches, and it left you contemplating about going inside and locking yourself in your room but you needed the distraction. You needed to hear the rustle of the leaves. You needed to smell the unique scent of their decay. You need to feel the change of the season, the changes that came with life that you would be forced through and accept. In that you found your calm, one that was challenged in an instant as you heard a pair of footsteps against the cobblestone path that wound its way through the garden. 

Looking up, you had expected to welcome your best friend, she had never failed to make sure you were taken care of and yet it wasn’t the sight of her that greeted you. Somehow, some way, Nico must have convinced her that this was a job he was suited for and it left you sick to your stomach. 

“Can I help you with something?” you didn’t mean to be so polite, you should have bit out some kind of snarky remark at him, but your voice was weak and you didn’t have enough energy for a fight. 

Nico was silent for a moment as he came to sit down at your side on the bench. He didn’t meet your gaze, his hand folded in the hold of one another as he fidgeted with his fingers. You watched him out of the corner of your eye as he looked down at the ground, his dark hair falling down into his eyes as his lips parted in an uneven breath. “No, I ah-” he rambled out gently, you had never seen him as such a loss for words before. Nico had always been so quick to counter you, to challenge you and you so quick to do so in return and yet you both had been reduced to tiptoeing around just the right words to say, “I just, wanted to- Are you okay?”

You answered with a stiff; “Ha!” Your gaze cast to the side as you rolled your eyes, “as if you care.” 

Your words left him wincing, his head cocking to the side. You had his full attention now as his jaw slacked, and his mouth was left gaping as if to say, did you really just say that to me? 

“Of course I fucking care,” he bit out, your name followed after, his voice raised. Offended. 

You could only scoff again, “Why would you?”

“Why would I?” he echoed you, a thick brow raising up, “you damn well know why. So why don’t you tell me what happened, and whatever asshole did this to you is going to have to deal with the entire hockey team-” 

You near groaned, he would never understand. There was no one to punish because the person who did this to you was yourself. You chose to push Nico away after returning home. You chose not to sneak around anymore and that meant you couldn’t have him. Then, the protectiveness of his tone dawned on you and you almost laughed. He had no reason to be getting that way. Not when he had no claim on you, not when you had both agreed to act like what happened during the summer didn’t happen - and yet your heart still ached for him, and it seemed he struggled to put it behind him as well. But if his words were enough to lull you into a false hope that maybe he had fallen for you too, you couldn’t let yourself admit it to him - you hadn’t even fully admitted it to yourself either. Pushing up from your seat you began to walk away from him, your hand waiving him off carelessly. 

“Just as I said earlier, I’m fine,” you did your best to assure him as you tried to leave him at the centre of the garden, but in one rushed stride and he was close enough to reach out for your wrist. 

“For fuck sake, talk to me,” he demanded, his voice raised as he tugged on your arm just hard enough to turn you back around to face him. 

You didn’t know if it was his tone or the way his skin felt against your own but it felt a rage inside you, one that wasn’t quite an anger, and not quite desire, but it left you to shout, “I love you” before you could stop yourself. Then your eyes went wide with the sudden realization of what you had just let yourself say. Then your words fell into a scoff, your head shaking as if you were talking to yourself and yourself alone, “Ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?”

Your words had sealed your fate, leaving your heart racing as Nico had lost every sense of hesitation. Shoving your hand to the side he stepped in to steal the air between your breath and took your face in his hands. And as his name was but a mere whisper on your lips he was guiding you in, his lips coming crashing down onto yours. Your cruel summer may have ended, but autumn was just the beginning for Nico and you.  

#nico hischier #hockey imagines #hockey rpf #hockey smut #nhl rpf #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagine #M's Birthday Bingo #aestethic

[iveseenstrangerthings]

coming back to you - steve harrington imagine

summary: an exes to lovers imagine in where Steve broke up with the reader over his own worries and has left the reader heartbroken and confused, but of course, where there’s a will, there’s a way...

word count: 2.6k

warnings: just a couple of swears

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summer was slowly drawing to a close, much to your despair, and the group was ready to disband for the evening. As the countdown for back to school begins, your evenings end quicker as people head home to prepare for the school rush starting again. 

You watch as Max and Dustin fold away the camping chairs you’ve all been sitting on, “God this is depressing.” You sigh heavily, willing the night to etch out just that little while longer.

“Please don’t even mention what I think you’re going to, or I will swing you in that pool.” Lucas chips in, getting the hint that school may be snaking its way into the conversation. In defence, you hold your hands up and start to slowly get up from the camping chair, pulling the blanket from your legs and folding it up neatly. 

In this moment, you reflect on the summer you’ve had. It’s not been a great one. At the beginning of the summer, yours and Steve’s relationship crumbled away from underneath you so fast you felt you were falling fast towards a hole that you couldn’t recover from. In short, the Steve you knew at the beginning of the summer was not the Steve you had spent the last year and a half with. He was distant, he was cold, he wasn’t willing to make plans and, in all honesty, you weren’t actually shocked when he asked to call it quits. You’d assumed there was someone else, as is usually the case, so you completely cut ties with each other.  

Much to the group’s surprise, the pair of you kept coming to the group gatherings, and slowly over the summer started to show signs of your friendship thawing out from the hard layer of ice that had covered it at the start of summer. 

It started off as him offering you a lift home, with others, in the car. Then, as the curtain has started to go down on summer, he’s asking you if you want a lift on your own. He’s offering you drinks when you’re all out and he even bought you a meal at the diner last week. 

Now, as the group shuffles around quietly packing the chairs and blankets away, you catch his eyes over the dying fire. Quickly, as if embarrassed to be seen, he averts his gaze to the bag he’s covering the folded chair with. You sling the chair over your shoulder and move to the shed in Mike’s yard to put it away, but you feel a soft graze of skin move over your knuckles and you turn around. Behind you, Steve’s waiting. “Need a hand?” He offers.

You shake your head, offering a small smile at the gesture, “Thanks, but I got it.” 

Once tidied away, everyone moves around the side of the house to start making their way home and you all wave each other off and give each other a chorus of goodbyes as you split off into different directions. Mike and El slope off back to the house, Mike’s arm draped over El’s shoulders, and you turn away to start walking with a small smile. A hint of jealousy at the pair sitting in your gut, although you hate to admit it. 

Just as you start walking, you hear a voice call out from a few feet behind you. “Hey, (y/n)?” You stop and turn ever so slightly, Steve is walking slowly, his hands in his pockets, towards you, “Can I walk you home?” 

For a minute you ponder the question. You battle between letting him walk you home and allowing yourself to feel a, probably false, sense of hope for the pair of you rekindling. Or you could just shut him out completely and try your best to keep moving forward. 

He waits patiently, his whole demeanour and attitude completely different to that of the one he wore seven weeks ago. Maybe, just maybe, this could be the opportunity you’ve been craving to talk to him, one on one, about his actions and decisions. So, you reply, “Sure, I’d like the company.” 

Now that he’s had permission, he closes the gap between the pair of you and starts to walk with you away from Mike’s. 

For the first few minutes, it’s quiet. The only sounds those of your shoes on the sidewalk and the gentle breeze shaking the last of the luscious summer leaves on the trees. How you’ll miss the gorgeous colours once the season changes. 

Just as you’re getting used to the silence, Steve speaks. “Summer’s gone by quick this year, huh?”

You nod quietly back, “Sure has.” 

For a moment, you regret allowing him to walk you home. If this is what your walk is going to consist of, awkward small talk and silences, you’d rather have walked alone. A flit of anger surges through you like an electric shock and you shudder almost at its imaginary presence. The urge has almost willed you on to start up a new conversation with Steve. 

“What happened with us, Steve?” Your voice is small but firm, you want to have this conversation now and you want some answers. His silence has been overbearing for too long now. “Was there someone else? Is there someone else?”

He ponders a moment, watching as the sun dips off even further into the horizon, “No. There never has been anyone else.” He matches your firmness, and you hope he hasn’t taken your question for hostility, when all you want is clarity.

“So, what was it then?” You reply.

Again, he waits a moment before replying and you begin to think he’s doing it for dramatic effect, “I just look at you and see so much potential. I mean academic and personal potential. (y/n), you’re gonna go on to do amazing things, change the world and what not,” he pauses, and you briefly look towards him, smiling at the joke you used to share, “I want you to get out of Hawkins. I want you to explore the world and all the opportunities that I know are out there waiting for you.” You frown, trying to work out what any of this has to do with the pair of you splitting up. He continues, “But me,” he stops, but this time not for dramatic effect, you can hear the emotion that’s become thick within his voice, “I don’t feel I have that same future. I mean, what have I got? Shit grades, I sling fuckin’ ice cream on the side and my parents are assholes who don’t want to support anything I do.” 

Gradually, the pace the pair of you are walking has slowed right down to almost a gentle stroll, as you would in a museum, taking the time to admire all the artwork in a slow rotation. “Steve, what job you have now doesn’t define what you’re gonna do for the rest of your life.” 

“No, you don’t get my point. We have one year left of high school, then it’s college.” You really don’t know where this is going, but you listen on intently, “I know you changed your option for college last minute, your mom told me.” You drop your gaze now to your shoes, ashamed.

Admittedly, you had applied to go away for college, you wanted to move away and see more of the country you call home. Plus, with everything that’s happened in Hawkins recently, you can’t see Hawkins actually being here, at all, in the next few years. However, the closer you got to Steve and the more your relationship developed, the more you didn’t want to leave him. So, you changed your college application to a local one, without his knowledge. It was for this reason that you didn’t want to tell him until closer to the time. 

“You changed your admission application for me. I know you did.” His voice shakes now as he continues, “and I cannot let you do that. I cannot let myself hold you back from the amazing things I know you’re capable of achieving. That’s when I started to think, I’m just going to hold you back. I’m just going to be a burden for you, I’ll be one of those boyfriends who their girlfriend’s friends complain about. I just felt I couldn’t sit back and let you change your options just for me. I’m not worth it. I just got angry at myself, and angry that you kept your college change from me, so I snapped and ended it.” 

  Holy shit. Never in the years of knowing Steve have you ever had such a true and vulnerable conversation with him. Never has he spoken to truthfully and openly about his feelings. This has only reignited the kindling flame of your love for him that had never really died out. “Steve, why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?” Your voice comes out exasperated, tired. 

He simply shrugs and offers no verbal answer. You take a minute to piece together your reply, you want to organise your words carefully, not haphazardly. “I couldn’t care less about what you do now, whether it’s selling ice cream or what, Steve, for our age, a job is a job. But you have prospects too, I know you do. You can sit there all you like and say your grades are shit and that your parents are assholes, but I know that you have goals, and that you have dreams, that are just as bold, and achievable, as mine.” 

The pace of your walking has now pretty much come to a complete stop, so you turn to face him side on, his side profile just as striking as you remember admiring months ago. “Steve.” You say softly, taking his hand in yours. Eventually, he turns to face you and his eyes are glossy, glass like. Blood soars in your ears as it drowns out any other noise that is in the vicinity. It feels like it’s just the two of you left in the world, nobody else matters. “I want to achieve them with you. I want to do all those things we talked about with you. I want to make you see that your future is not already written for you. Seriously Steve, you have it all ahead of you to look forward to. And I want to experience all of life’s ups and downs with you, not on my own, not with anyone else. You need someone to show you how much of an amazing person you are, because hell you don’t get it from anyone else.” You know that was a low blow, a dig at his parents, but it needed to be said. 

  “I can’t let you change your life just for me, though.” He says quietly. 

“And I wouldn’t. We would take things on together, if it meant going long-distance for a few years then figuring out our plans after that, then so be it, we would get through it Steve.” You don’t know whether you’re just coming across as that you’re begging, and you don’t want to seem needy, but the floodgates are open, and the forces are too strong to shut them anytime soon. 

With your hand still in his, he brings his other hand up to your cheek, brushing his fingertips over your skin delicately. Just like he used to. You watch as his eyes search your own, his pupils dilating slightly, causing an eruption of butterflies to set off in your stomach. The seconds pass nonchalantly, enjoyably, as you take the time to gaze and search each other’s features for the first time in months, taking in every detail and every crevice that you missed.

You hadn’t realised, but tears had started to spill over onto his cheeks. You absentmindedly bring your thumb up to wipe them away. As you do this, your own vision goes cloudy and you know in a second, there will be tears of your own decorating your face. “I have missed you so much.” He admits, now letting your other hand go and bringing it to the side of your face. “I have thought about you day and night, just trying to figure it all out. But I realised that I’d made a huge mistake, letting you go.” His thumb continues to gently trace your cheeks, carefully wiping away each falling tear. 

“I never, ever thought of you as being a burden, Steve. Never. I hate that you felt like that, and you didn’t just tell me. We wouldn’t have had to go through this.” A small, short sob escapes your lips and the corners of your mouth turn down slightly. 

“I know, I know.” He says softly, almost inaudibly. It’s evident he’s spent the last few months beating himself up, going over the decision, thinking about it all and quite simply catastrophising everything when he really didn’t need to. Inch by inch throughout the conversation, your faces have moved closer. “Everything I’ve said, I feel so deeply, and I worry that it’s true, but selfishly I just want you back.” 

Steadily, your tears stem and you nod, feeling his secure grip on your cheeks, “I do too. I’ve never wanted anything more.” 

Before either of you realise, you close the small gap between the pair of you with your lips. A salty taste enters your mouth as you realise tears are staining your lips, whose tears they are you don’t know, but it seems irrelevant now anyway. Like you’d never been apart, your lips find their natural rhythm you shared so enjoyably, and you bask in this moment. Feeling his hands on your face pull you even closer, you place your hand on his wrist and the other slips in between his jacket, leaving your hand resting on his side. As you pull away, you finally see the smile you fell in love with adorn his face, causing your own to bloom widely. 

“Can we try again? Can we go conquer the world together?” He laughs slightly as he speaks and your heart is thundering in your chest, all in happiness, though.

Your smile still paints your face, and you bring your lips up to meet his once more, quickly. “I would want nothing more.” 

Still standing close to one other, he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear before bringing his fingers back down, tracing the side of your jaw with his fingertips before finally resting his thumb on your chin where he slightly drags your bottom lip down as he does so. He does this as he knows how it makes you feel, he knows you’ll feel the heat rising within you as he does so. After parting your lips, he comes back down and kisses you with pent up passion and just pure longing. If you were in a movie, you just know fireworks would explode behind you and the credits would start to roll in, the feeling of a happy ending leaving everyone teary eyed and satisfied. 

Eventually, you both pull away and start to resume the pace of walking side-by-side, this time with each other’s hand resting comfortably within one another’s grip. “Would you stay with me tonight?” He asks into the now night air, the sun having long gone down. 

You give his hand a small squeeze, thinking he’d never ask. But also, grateful for the question, as you really felt you’d never hear the words again. “Of course I will.”

And so, the pair of you wander aimlessly back to Steve’s, in no rush whatsoever, catching up with each other and sharing each other’s lows over the last few months of being apart. Deep down, Steve knows that the pair of you will work. He knows that you’ll change your college application, you’ll do long distance and make it work. He’s also decided that he’s going to investigate college now, too. He’s going to look into his options and do his very best to prove himself, and his worries, wrong, knowing he will have you there every step of the way.

#masterlist #stranger things prompts #stranger things imagine #stranger things blurbs #stranger things preferences #stranger things imagines #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve Harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington prompt #steve harrington fic #steve harrington comfort #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington drabble

[sparkle-d]

untouchable

pairing: daniel ricciardo x you

tags: friends to lovers; unrequited love; mutual pining

warnings: drinking, mature, swearing, sexting

words: 16541

summary:

“I bet I can make you fall in love with me.”

“Well, I bet I can make you fall in love with me first.”

They say after drinking a bottle of tequila.

you can also read it here!

hope you enjoy it <3

Your friendship with Daniel has always been like a ticking bomb, ready to explode any time. Since the first day you met, things were very intense and… fiery. Apart from that little detail, you were inseparable, even when Daniel broke his arm and needed to stay at the hospital for the night, you stayed and slept beside him in the bed. And you totally hate hospitals.

But what really made things hard for the outsiders to handle your friendship was that both of you are very, very competitive, always wanting to do better and be better. Alex says it’s a healthy thing, to push yourself to the limit and try to be a better person. Pierre is the one that hates it with all of his guts, he always thought you would end up killing each other one day.

When the bets started, things got even worse.

The first bet in all those years of friendship started when you were just thirteen years old, when both of you were still in the school’s soccer team. It was a summer afternoon, when Daniel had his first real and official match as a team and you, being the great best friend you were, went there to watch and support him. After winning it, the coach took the team to eat pizza in a small diner near the soccer field where the match had been held.

The pizza was so good you said aloud “I bet I could eat a whole pizza alone.” Daniel peered you with the corner of his eyes, watching a string of cheese get stuck in your chin. Daniel pointed with his fingers where you should clean your face.

“I bet I could eat a whole pizza plus an extra slice. Alone.” Daniel voiced, his eyes piercing you, which just raised one of your eyebrows.

“With peppers and pineapple?” Daniel aggressively nodded at your words.

Daniel could fulfill his bet and actually ate more than a whole pizza alone, with all the peppers and pineapple. But that led him to stay in the hospital for an entire day with an upset stomach. He won the bet anyways, so it gave him some confidence, even if you laughed his ass off while Daniel was throwing up his guts during the night.

The second time it happened, it was some months later and, this time, you were the one to start the bet. You were in football practice, just some days away from an important game for both teams. You caught yourself thinking about Daniel’s long legs. They were so lean he could run ten laps around the field in minutes. At that time, you still had short legs, making it difficult for you to run as fast as Daniel.

“I bet I can finish ten laps faster than you.” You started to stretch your legs and noticed a grin around Daniel’s lips.

“You know I’m always up to beat you up in a bet.” And he fully smiled at you.

You snorted “I’ve been practicing my time. It’s way closer to yours than you might think it is.” Daniel shrugged, not really buying your improvement in running.

You and Daniel got set up and started the laps. Daniel was so fast in the beginning, but you did indeed improve your running and could beat him up so easily. Daniel felt bitter about it later. After you finished, you were feeling glorious about you winning and he needed to put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“It doesn’t matter if you win or not, we aren’t from the athlete’s team anyways. We play soccer.” You rolled his eyes at your words “Let’s upgrade this bet a little.”

“I’m listening.” You said.

“Who scores the most during our next game wins.” You know Daniel is better at scoring, that’s why he’s the forward of the team. Daniel seems pleased with the bet, but it would be too easy for you to not even try hard and accept your loss. There’s no point in winning something if you don’t have a regard for it in the end “And the loser has to shave all of their head.”

You thought twice about the bet. You’ve never even thought about cutting your hair short, imagine shaving it. You were not even sure your parents would allow something like that, but you agreed, excited with your newest bet.

The next monday, Daniel appeared at school with his head shaved.

At some point, Pierre started to get worried with your competitive asses and tried to stop it. It wasn’t healthy at all in his opinion, especially when you started to grow up and you weren’t from the soccer team anymore, so the bets started to get serious.

Like when you were sixteen and you bet who could stack more books on the foot while upside down. It became a school’s event, everyone stopped to watch you two struggle while all of the blood in your bodies was flowing to your heads.

After ten books on each, you fainted, causing the whole school to freak out, especially Pierre who almost started crying when you were still unconscious.

You had to give your Percy Jackson collection to Daniel after losing that bet.

After the fainting event, you stopped with the bets for some years, until you were in their last year of high school and you decided you needed to shake things up once more “I bet you to go to the school’s radio during the class break, take the mic and scream ‘ HULAHOOPOHOOPIN ’ .”

“Just HULAHOOPOHOOPIN ?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah, you’re right, scratch that. I bet you to go to the school’s radio during the class break, take the mic and scream ‘ HULAHOOPOHOOPIN, I’m Daniel Ricciardo from 3-C and I have two penises ’ .”

Daniel never felt so betrayed by himself before for encouraging you to do worse with him.

The next day a girl came and asked him what two penises could do. 

°°°

In university, the bets started to involve alcohol too, leading things to a whole different and dangerous level. But since Pierre was always around you two, nothing deathly happened, just Daniel in the ER taking glucose shots in his vein after drinking a whole bottle and a half of vodka alone. Plus some other things - but you like to forget that part - and label Daniel as a ‘ light weight ’, in your opinion.

“It’s been a while since the last time we bet something.” You say, leaning against the kitchen’s counter of Charles’ house. Daniel is opening the second bottle of tequila for you, since you two have been drinking alone in the kitchen while everyone else is playing some card game in the living room.

“Sometimes you forget that our last bet led me to break up with my girlfriend, so yeah, we stopped with the bets for real.” Daniel says it in a bitter tone with a grimace in his face. He remembers your bet with him: who could run the longest naked around the campus without getting caught by the security. You never actually went running naked, you were in your bikinis, only Daniel did indeed get fully naked.

Daniel’s ex-girlfriend didn’t like it, everyone seeing his boyfriend’s hot body naked and talking about it for the rest of the year.

“She was a coward. Everyone, even the ones that aren’t close to you, know that you have a six pack anyways.” Daniel drinks another shot of tequila and glances at you. He looks totally drunk, his eyes almost shut and a corny smile on his lips.

“You just say that because no one said anything about your body.” Daniel knows that gets on your fragile spot, because you always want attention and praise, but no one really cared about you when your best friend Daniel was showing off his nice butt around. Which was odd because Daniel thinks you have a really good body, maybe not as muscular as Daniel’s, but still, nice thighs and curves.

“Yeah, because I’m a girl and it wouldn’t be nice to comment on my body around campus.” You roll your eyes “And I didn’t even go past my dorm’s door.”

“Yeah, sure.” Daniel chuckles “Oh, some of them remembered the two penises thing. Turns out I only have one, sadly.”

Daniel does the face he always does when he’s being sarcastic and you hate it, because you’re the sarcastic one in your friendship and what’s the point of being sarcastic if you’re going to give it away with your expression? “I thought people would let it die in high school.”

“They were really interested in my two penises, you know.” You punch Daniel’s arm, but he doesn’t feel a thing because his body is already numb and you are not that strong “Even with only one penis, I may be more interesting than you.”

You gasp “I have my charms too, Daniel. I’m hard to get, but a bunch of people are interested in me, for your information.”

And Daniel wheezes.

“I bet they are.”

“What do you mean by that?” You hiss and squint your eyes in Daniel’s direction. Daniel says all sorts of things when he’s drunk, but he’s playing with a side of your insecurities that is really sensible.

“I mean that it’s hard for you to make people fall for you. You always look so mighty and when someone tries to get closer to you, you always push them away.” Daniel shrugs, as if what he’s saying is nothing, but it gets deep in you.

Daniel is your best friend, but still he doesn’t know how to deal with your feelings most of the time, maybe because you never show what you’re truly feeling in your core.

“They fall for me, you’re just not around.” You say, trying not to sound as pathetic as you feel.

“Yeah? Could you name them for me then?” Daniel takes another shot.

“I could if I cared about them, but I don’t so…” That could fool Daniel, especially when drunk. You can be really cold when you want to and Daniel knows it.

“Not a single name from the people that technically fell in love with you? A one night stand, maybe? Nothing?” Daniel continues to try to get something from you, but it only makes you more and more nervous with your conversation “That’s bullshit, just assume people don’t have interest in you because you’re not that appealing and that’s okay, you don’t need to be a lady killer or whatever.”

That’s easy to say when you’re literally the heartthrob from campus , you think.

Even if you have your reasons for not being tempting in others eyes, you can’t just say it in front of Daniel like it means nothing to you. Daniel is too drunk and wouldn’t understand your reasons anyways.

Your mind is foggy with all the alcohol you drank with Daniel. The second bottle is almost empty already, the liquor disappearing faster than you imagined. You think of something Daniel would say if this conversation was the opposite, if you were the one accusing Daniel of being untouchable and impersonal. Daniel would get at the main point of the conversation and use it in his favor, so you do the same.

“I bet I can make you fall in love with me, Daniel.” You hiccup, glaring in Daniel’s direction. The latter grins because he knows what you are doing. Trying to scare him . But Daniel isn’t the type to bolt away from your bets and panic with it, he’s the one to embrace them and make you regret betting with him in the first place. It was always like this.

“Well, I bet I can make you fall in love with me first, cupcake.”

The mood completely changes in between you, because as Daniel says those words, you lick your lips and smirks, reaching for the bottle next to Daniel. You could blame everything in the booze you drank so you did close the gap between you and Daniel, touching the latter’s chest with your fingers.

You obviously never flirted with Daniel before, your friendship never got that intimate, but Daniel can feel that you are already trying to make a move in his direction. You’re too close, with your expression showing anything, but innocence and Daniel takes a deep breath, because you are serious about whatever you were just talking about seconds ago.

“Deal.” You whisper next to Daniel’s ears.

Maybe Daniel is the type to panic a little, just a bit.

°°°

“Jesus fucking christ, calm down.” Alex rolls his eyes, sitting in your bed. He watches you pacing around in your room, panicking with every little cell in your body. You are close to having a breakdown “Can’t you just quit the bet?”

“Alexander, I love you, but do I look like a quitter to you?” You let a hand go through your  hair, messing it a little bit, trying to think of a way to get out of the bet without sounding like you’re chickening out, which you totally are “W-What if he touches me, Alex? Like, intimately touches me. I would probably have a heart attack.”

“I still can’t believe you started this bet about who falls in love with who first,” Alex sighs, pulling a strand of his hair out of his sight “when you’re already in love with the person.”

“I WAS DRUNK.” You snort because you don't want to believe you actually did that. Daniel would win the bet, he already did actually, and plus he will get to know about your feelings, you’ve been hiding them for so fucking long. It’s bullshit letting Daniel know about them now, after so many years “It’s your fault, actually. You started that crappy card game you know both me and Daniel hate, so we left to drink and that’s when things got out of control.”

“You started a bet out of your free will with your best friend, how is that MY fault?” 

“That’s not the main point here, Alex. I need to think of how I will conquer him and not give myself in with his first attempts. No… I can’t, I need to at least try to hold myself back from it.” You stop and stare at Alex “From where should I begin to try to seduce him? I need a plan.”

“Okay, let’s see. He’s your best friend, so you should know what he likes and what makes him hot… at least the basics. Focus on those things and it’ll be a complete success.” Alex says it like it’s the easiest thing to do.

Maybe he’s a maneater and knows how to steal others' hearts with a snap of his finger, but you don't have much background to work with. People are always trying to win him over, not the other way around.

“Uhm… Daniel likes touching, things like grabbing his thigh during meals and cuddling, but he’s also really into sexting, I guess?” You start thinking about everything you know from your best friend “I don’t know if I can be this risky with him. Not like this, as his friend.”

Alex blinks twice “I honestly don’t wanna know how you know the sexting part, but you have your plan here. Grab him whenever you can and cuddle with him before going to sleep. Also text him like you normally would, but put something spicy in it. Like… invite him for dinner! In my apartment, so he won’t suspect anything.”

You laugh, out of nervousness “What should I do? Be clingy with him the whole night? You know he’s trying to win this too, right? If I do something like that, I might be the one enjoying it more than him.”

“I don’t know. You’ll figure it out once you’re doing it.” Again, you snort. You want to tell Alex it’s useless trying anything, but don't want to sound like your friend isn’t helping you at all “Let’s not panic and think about solutions to your plan.”

“Ok, I’m going to invite him for dinner in your apartment. Play it simple, some slight touches and some flirting…” You say, holding your hands.

Maybe Daniel is right and you have no idea how to do these things, not even how you should make someone pay attention to you. You’re useless when the main point is love life and things related to it.

“Maybe… try kissing him at the end of the night? Oh, Pierre would have a heart attack if he saw it happening.” Alex laughs and gets up from the bed.

Your group of friends consists of your friend’s from the football team. You’ve known each other since kids, they would indeed find it weird if you and Daniel became more than friends. None of them ever thought of you in a different way than everyone’s beloved friend. You don’t want to mess up that too.

“Alex, jesus fucking christ, if I kiss him I might, I don’t know, melt right there in front of him. I already told you, I don’t want him to notice I like him.” You roll your eyes, feeling your heart start racing only by thinking about kissing Daniel.

“Look, I can’t help you with a lot of tips because things like this come easily to me, but I can help with something else. Give me your phone.” Alex says.

You raise an eyebrow, thinking if you should really give your cellphone to Alex. You couldn’t invite Daniel for this kind of dinner alone, you’re sure of it, and Alex might really help. So you hand the phone. Alex gives a giggle and starts typing, making some pauses to think, and going back to it again.

“So, what are you doing?” Alex does a dramatic last touch on the screen and gives it back to you, with a small grin around his lips.

You read the message on your phone.

mybuttercup said: hey, so we’re having dinner tonight at Alex’s. at 8pm.

mybuttercup said: bring that wine i like ;)

And immediately Daniel replies.

danirik said: ok… but which wine you’re talking about tho?

“This is what you call spicy? I could’ve done better alone.” You feel frustrated after reading the simple texts and Alex just shrugs “But that’s enough, he’ll never guess this is a trap for me to seduce him.”

“I’ll invite Pierre and the boys too, so it won’t be too awkward for me while you two are flirting.” You sit in your bed for a moment, your mind spinning with how much you need to think now “We should eat pizza.”

You nod because you don't really mind that much what the menu will be for the night, you need to organize his thoughts about what you intend to do with Daniel. You need to prove to Daniel that you’re playing seriously and you can make Daniel feel the slightest of attraction towards him. You need to prove that to yourself too, or else, everything Daniel said to you will be one hundred percent true, and you hate that you’re not lovable. You need to think people actually fall for you.

The first thing you come to a conclusion, is that the grabbing thigh under table is a must.

°°°

“Use your best cologne, she likes men that smell good.” Pierre yells when Daniel comes out of the bathroom “And let your curls down, she likes it too.”

Sometimes Daniel thinks Pierre is your best friend and not him, but it’s just that there are things that you won’t speak about with Daniel. Like your love life, or sex life, or whatever. You just mention the basics, a date with a girl you met in the bar or that you kissed a cute freshman from Daniel’s history class in a party. No details, rarely names, or if you think you’ll have a future with this lover or not. It’s very impersonal like everything you do in your life.

But with Pierre, you normally say all the little details and answer every question Pierre does, even the personal ones. Daniel can feel a small sting of jealousy, bothering him every time he thinks about the matter, every time he remembers that he is your second option sometimes, while you are always his first.

Daniel decides to dress the way he always does when he wants to get someone’s attention: black t-shirt and skinny jeans. Once you said he looked hot in a suit, but laughed it off some seconds later, saying you preferred the normal shirt and jeans look better, so Daniel kept that in mind since then.

“Do you have any idea of how you’ll win this?” Pierre enters the room, holding his shoes in his hands “Like, okay, you can look hot for her, but she saw you naked already so many times, that won’t change much? You need to think about how to win her heart, not only make her horny.”

“Her being horny would be enough… I mean, she could fall in love with me because of her hormones and my-”

“This is not the way to go, I think.” Pierre starts, totally cutting Daniel “It’s hard to get into her core, you should try something tender. Show her you’re really intending to make her fall in love with you, that you’re the love of her life, not just a sexual attraction.” Pierre finishes putting his shoes on and looks at Daniel “She can have anyone’s body and you know it. You need to be different and conquer her heart.”

Daniel thinks through about what Pierre said and maybe his friend is right. You had countless relationships, but none of them were really that important to you; the moment you broke up with the person, you wouldn’t care about them anymore. Daniel can’t aim for something like that, he needs to go somewhere no one tried to go before and bloom your deepest feelings.

He already knows what to do. Even if you run to Pierre’s direction sometimes, Daniel is still your best friend and he knows you better than anyone else.

“I should make a list of the things I should do to try to win her.” Daniel speaks more to himself than to Pierre, already plotting how to put everything in practice.

°°°

“Can we eat already?” Max asks, whining because he’s hungry and everyone is doing whatever, but gathering at the table to eat “The pizza will get cold.”

“We’re coming.” George screams from somewhere in the balcony, where he’s waiting for Alex to enter too “Max, go upstairs and tell our beloved friend to come eat, she’s been hiding in Alex’s room the entire night.”

Max rolls his eyes because he doesn’t want to move from his seat, he’s ready to dig into a big plate of pizza and drink a whole mug of beer in one sip. Charles gives him a look, the one he always does when Max is being stubborn about something, and Max just sighs “I’m going, okay?”

Charles smirks at him and Max gets up off his chair, heading to Alex’s room.

Everyone is in the living room, so when Max is in front of Alex’s room’s door, it’s pretty silent compared to the rest of his friend’s house. When he opens the room’s door, he finds a worried you inside, totally panicking over something, with one hand in your waist and the other on your forehead, trying to figure something out.

Max lets out a giggle, because the view is funny. You are always composed and hardly show any bad feelings, you always look happy and confident.

Max never saw you like that.

“What’s happening?” Max asks, entering the room. You seem to not notice Max until the moment he speaks, so you look surprised with the boy there, watching you “Something’s wrong? You’ve been in this room the whole night.”

“I was just trying to figure something out…” You say with a low voice, more tense than ever. And then something pops in your mind “Actually, Max, I have something to ask you.”

“Sure, shoot it.” Max says.

“Remember when Daniel had a crush on you in...”

“Middle school. Yeah, terrifying.” Max grimaces at the memory of Daniel being all kinds of cringe with him and eventually giving up because Max didn’t give two fucks about him “What about it?”

“I was wondering if you’ve ever done something to him to, you know, make him like you.” 

Max stops for a moment and tries to remember something that triggered Daniel’s feelings for him. They were from the soccer team and you broke your little finger, so you couldn't show up in the practices for a while.

Daniel was lost in the first few days, especially because him and you were almost the same person, always stuck together. One day after training, Max went home with Daniel because he looked lonely and sad, and that’s when everything started.

“I spoke with him about you while walking home, he said you broke your finger because you two were betting who could punch the wall harder and you won.” Max shrugs, because he didn’t do anything special for Daniel to feel that way about him, he just did “I told him to take care of you and after that day he was always around me wanting to spend some time together.”

“So he likes to just… talk? Uh…” That didn’t help much because you already did that with Daniel. All the time. 

Max nods, not thinking too deep about Daniel’s feelings “I guess…? Daniel is a pretty quiet guy sometimes, but he likes to be listened to.”

You look at your friend, wondering if you should thank for what he said or keep it like that because you don’t want to speak about the bet with Max, or mention it to him at all “He’s been distant to me lately, so I was wondering what I should do.”

That makes zero sense in your head, asking about how Daniel started to have feelings for Max and then telling him it’s because you’re going through a phase in your friendship. But Max seems to not bother it too much.

“Communication is an essential thing in friendship, I would say.” Max shrugs. “Anyways, I came here because the pizza is ready, we should go downstairs to eat.” Max isn’t the type to listen to others, or give advice, or anything that implies in giving too much of his time, but you seem troubled and friends are supposed to help, right?

“Yeah, we should.” You take your last deep breath and follow Max in the hallways.

°°°

Daniel is there as expected, of course, you invited him. Actually, Alex did, but Daniel didn’t know about that. You notice Daniel did the thing with his hair that you said one hundred times that you loved. That made it more difficult for you to not show any kind of confused feelings you have for your friend, but you were used to hiding it, you’ve been hiding for years now. 

“Hey, I haven’t seen you all night.” Daniel is the first to notice you’re in the room. He comes for a hug and makes it last more than it usually does. You can smell Daniel’s perfume and feel the soft skin in the nape of his neck. 

For a moment, you forget Daniel is playing his game too and trying to win against you, because there’s nothing to win there. You already like him. But Daniel seems to be trying to do all the things you like, and that pleases you more than you thought it would.

“University stuff.” You smile when you get away from each other. Everyone is already sitting at the table and there’s two spots left, one for you and the one next to it for Daniel “History of Art can be really exhausting when your teacher thinks you only study their subject.”

Daniel chuckles and sits in one of the chairs, next to Alex. You sit in the remaining one, George by your side. You feel relieved because if George saw your hand running around Daniel’s thighs he wouldn’t make a scene out of it, like Lando and Charles would. They would make everyone look at you and Daniel, and point at your faces, claiming you were almost fucking under the table while your friends were there, eating.

George would find it normal, just bros being bros. 

Things are going smoothly as ever and everything is leading to a success for you.

You start to eat, but you can’t even finish your first slide of pizza out of anxiety. There’s always the option that Daniel will hate it, especially because you’re with friends around them. You need to be seductive, and also do it in a way you’re sure Daniel will like it.

“There’s something I have to ask you.” You whisper in Daniel’s ears, when you notice everyone is too distracted with Pierre’s story of how he lost his car in a parking lot next to the University, to care for what you’re whispering in Daniel’s ears.

“What?” Daniel answers, just some inches away from you. You normally speak like that, close to each other, so you don't have to cope with your proximity.

“I was wondering, what’s the final prize of our bet?” You whisper again, speaking slowly in the last words of the sentence. And when Daniel turns to face you, you slide your left hand in the corner of Daniel’s thigh.

Daniel tenses up, you can feel it under your fingers. All the muscles are stiffened up and you continue your trail until you’re fully grabbing Daniel like you’ve planned to since the beginning “A prize?” Daniel breaths out, trying not to catch your friend’s attention.

“There’s no point in a bet, if there’s no prize in the end.” Your fingers almost reach Daniel’s groin area, but come back to massage Daniel’s thigh. It seems to be working because Daniel takes a little longer to even think about what is happening “Like that time when I bought you lunch for a whole month.”

You want to touch more, to really make Daniel horny and bothered in the middle of your friends, but you need time. It would be no fun if Daniel gave away so easily, it’s not only an arousal you are looking for. So you stay in a safe area, running your fingers up and down, sometimes doing circles in some areas. Daniel doesn’t even move under your touch.

“I don’t know.” He whispers back, staring right into your eyes “If I win the bet, your love and heart is the best prize I could ask for.” And you freeze, because Daniel says that like he means it. As if your affection was the only thing he was aiming to get out of that craziness you called a bet “Or maybe a car, I need one.”

You brush off any thoughts of Daniel really meaning what he said, because he ruined it just seconds later. You smirk, letting your hand run freely in the inner part of Daniel’s thigh, discovering every inch of it “I’m being serious.”

Daniel breathes in again, glancing to see if any of your friends noticed what is happening there. They seem to be used to you and Daniel having your own conversations like this, in your own world “The prize is that the loser needs to do one thing the winner wants.” He glances at your hand on him, and looks back at you “Whatever the winner wants.” 

“Whatever the winner wants?” You repeat and Daniel nods “Deal.” 

Even if it wasn’t your intention to give Daniel a boner, you could see it slowly appearing through his jeans. You lick your lips thinking about if you should go near that part, maybe touch it with your fingers, but in that exact moment Pierre says loudly.

“We need another bottle of wine.” And you hear it despite your intimate moment with Daniel.

“Daniel can go get a new one in the kitchen for us.” You say with a smile on your face.

You take your hand off from Daniel’s body, feeling the skin of your palm feverish after touching Daniel like that, so different from what you’re used to. Daniel looks confused and mostly embarrassed because if he stands up, everyone will see what is happening inside his pants.

“Daniel?” Pierre calls after no answer from Daniel, not a single muscle moving “Will you go get the wine or…?”

“Sure.” He says, starting to cover his crotch with his hands, but you stop him from getting up.

“I’ll go.” You say, holding Daniel down in his place. Daniel looks disoriented with everything that is happening in such a small span of time. You groping him in an unsafe way during dinner with your friends and then trying to sabotage him in front of everyone… but not really.

“Thanks.” He smiles softly at you and you give a smile back to him.

danirik said: next time you do something like that

danirik said: please don’t leave me hanging like that

danirik said: i almost got blue balls from whatever you were trying to do today

mybuttercup said: nice :)

After the first time during the dinner, you start to feel more confident with your actions. Not because you’re over the fact you’re, finally, hitting on Daniel for real, but because you saw Daniel’s reaction to it.

In all those years of friendship, you always kept your feelings a secret from Daniel, not even showing the slightest attraction towards your friend. You never even thought about Daniel actually reacting positively if you ever tried anything. In your head, Daniel would turn you down in every scenario. But in reality, Daniel is showing way more attraction towards you, than you towards Daniel

Maybe you have a chance of winning this thing after all. Daniel hasn't won this one yet.

“I think we should put some rules in this bet.” Daniel puts his plate on the table where you are sitting to eat your lunch during break “Or things can go bad really easily.”

“Aren’t you taking this too seriously?” You ask, trying to be the calmest ever. You are the one being too serious about winning it “It’s just a bet, we had countless of them.”

“But with this one, now I feel like you will slide your hand inside my pants during class someday.” You look up to see Daniel glaring at you. After the event during dinner, Daniel stormed down with you, and you just laughed in his face (and found Daniel’s angry side really hot). Daniel admitted he liked the massage, but the situation was awful, especially that not all of your friends were fully aware about the bet they were in “Or I don’t know, do something as dangerous as that with me.”

You grin, “Okay, you’re right, we should put some boundaries in this.” Daniel feels relieved that you agreed with it “We could’ve made Pierre’s life so much easier by putting rules in the bets since the beginning.”

“It wouldn’t be as funny as it was.” Daniel says, almost grinning at his own comment, but shaking his head and getting back to the serious subject “But this one is a different case. So, the first rule is: nothing during classes or around friends. No teasing, rubbing, massaging, or groping. The crotch area is completely out of limits in these cases too.”

“So, public stuff is allowed, just in class and with friends that it’s forbidden?” And Daniel can feel your foot touching his leg underneath from the other side of the table.

“Yes.” Daniel just answers. You go up with your foot a little, but stop in Daniel’s knee. You could use that move in a better situation, you think “Aside from these two things, everything is allowed.”

Daniel smirks and for the nth time, you regret starting that bet in the first place, because there’s no way you’ll handle whatever Daniel have in mind to do with you.

°°°

It’s test season and you are stuck in the library the whole day. You saw the morning, afternoon and night students pass by the library and leave. Now, almost too late for anyone to be there, there’s only you, a student in the computer and the library lady in the place. Oh, and Daniel is sleeping on his chair on the other side of your table, right in front of you. He stayed the whole day with you, helping you study History of Music for your test.

But now he’s sleeping, his eyelids not fully closed and you could hear a soft snore coming from his mouth. Daniel’s arms are his pillow and his hair is falling over his face. You have seen Daniel sleep a zillion times before; since you were six years old you would throw sleepover parties with your friends, or just sleep in each other’s house once in a while. But every time you remember Daniel has this habit of sighing while sleeping, you get reminded of why asleep Daniel is the most adorable thing in the world.

The library woman looks at you and points at the clock, showing that they’re about to close and you should leave. You stare at Daniel, thinking about how you should wake him up. You really don't want to do it, because you know Daniel is tired and probably needs all the sleep he can get, but there’s no other option than waking him up.

Maybe leave him in the library, but that’s not really an option at all either.

You wonder what he’s dreaming about, because he looks so calm and peaceful, and Daniel is normally an agitated sleeper. You remember all the kicks Daniel gave you whenever they shared a bed together. It’s rare to see him still for so long while sleeping.

Daniel sighs, moving his head slightly on his arm. You feel your chest tight, squeezing your heart inside of it. If Daniel knew he didn’t have to do anything to conquer your heart, how would his reaction be? You thought about it a lot. Would he still be there in the library with you?

You always wanted to tell the truth to Daniel, to speak your mind and explain to him how much you’re attracted to him; it’s almost absurd the way you feel towards your best friend.

For a couple of years, it was torture every minute of your life.

You are still Daniel’s best friend and that means seeing him naked or changing his clothes in front of you at least once a month, touching Daniel. Feeling like electricity is running through your body, but having to hold it back; cuddling with Daniel but not being allowed to go too far. But what hurt you the most over the years was Daniel talking about his significant others. And Daniel had a lot of them. And the worse one out of all of them: Max. 

Daniel never confessed a thing to you or Max, not even Pierre, but everyone knew it. The way Daniel looked at the boy made super obvious that he had a crush on Max. It was as if he was mesmerized by seeing such a beautiful creature in front of his eyes. You don't take Max’s credits in the story, he’s pretty handsome and anyone with two eyes and a little bit of patience would fall in love with him too.

“I like his eyes.” Daniel would say to you, with a dumb smile in his lips. You normally would just roll your eyes and Daniel would still go on about Max for the rest of the day.

It’s been a while since Daniel hadn’t had anyone in his love life and you feel relieved for it, but something it’s fishy because Daniel is the type of person to always have someone by his side. He needs affection all the time.

“Hey, wake up.” You whisper into Daniel’s ear, trying to wake him up.

Daniel hums something you can’t understand and squeezes his eyes. When he opens it and sees you so close to him, he almost jumps out of his chair. There’s no one around, so it’s alright to make some noise and have some reaction. You just giggle.

“We need to go, they’re closing the library.” Daniel rubs his eyes with the back of his hand.

“How long have I been sleeping?” Daniel’s voice is still warming up, so it cracks a little in the middle of the words.

“A couple of hours maybe?” Daniel’s eyes go wide and you laugh again “It’s okay, I know you’re tired from all the race training.”

“But I said I would make you company.” He says it more to himself than to you.

“I guess your plan didn’t go as you expected?” You grin, because you know Daniel spent the whole day there because of the bet. Daniel would do something like that for you on a daily basis, but he surely thought it would be a nice move to try something with you. Make you melt with his tender action of spending the whole day watching you study. You already melt for him all the time anyways, so there’s no difference between “We should go.”

Daniel nods, packing his things inside his bag and getting up, ready to leave.

Outside the building, you can feel shivers running around your body because it’s much chillier than earlier. You hug yourself, trying to keep yourself warm, but there’s not much you can do when you’re wearing only a shirt and it’s freezing outside. At this time of the year, no one really expects to be this cold already, but you were naive to leave your house without a sweater.

“Here, take my jacket.” Daniel puts the jacket on your shoulders and covers you, rubbing his hands around your sides. When you are ready to protest, Daniel continues “You get sick too easily.”

You don't know if Daniel is really doing it because he cares about you or just because of the bet. You had repeated at least a hundred times to Daniel how much you love when people give you their hoodies or jackets, trying to protect you.

That’s the issue of betting something so intimate with your best friend, he knows everything about you, everything you like and how you like it.

The jacket smells like Daniel, citric and woody. So different from the floral perfume you use, but you like Daniel’s scent better. It’s warm and involving, wrapping around your body. You feel like you're more and more falling into Daniel’s trap, even if you thought things couldn’t get any worse for you.

Daniel surely is doing it for the bet, you don't doubt it for a minute.

Daniel watches you for a moment, stopping his hands and just contemplating your figure in front of him. He likes your eyes a lot. But Daniel likes a lot of things about you and that’s no secret. He’s always telling his best friend about it. He’s always praising your looks and your beautiful legs.

You always take Daniel’s compliments as jokes, or something normal between friends, but Daniel is serious about it. He always takes notes inside his head about your beauty and sense of humor, even when he doesn’t share it with you. Daniel really likes you as a whole.

“Is kissing allowed?” Daniel asks suddenly, then blinks twice and smiles at you “I mean, in our rules, we didn’t mention it, right?”

“No, we didn’t.” You say, bluntly.

“But if I want to, is it allowed?” By the distance in between you, he can easily kiss you if he wants to. You aren't sure if Daniel is asking you for consent to kiss you, or if he’s just asking if during the bet - as a whole - you can kiss at all.

In whatever scenario he means, you are panicking inside because the kissing thought crossed Daniel’s mind at that moment.

“No.” You say. Daniel tilts his head, backing off a little and taking his hands away from yourbody “We should add it to the list of rules. No kissing is allowed during the bet.”

“No kissing.” Daniel repeats.

You know that if you, by any chance, kiss Daniel, it’s over for you. While for Daniel, this is all fun, hormones and nothing more than a bet. You can’t risk any more things into this.

Your drunk self should fuck off , you think.

°°°

You are just laying down on the couch in your dorm, waiting for the delicious meal Alex is doing for you. Probably spicy noodles, with grilled chicken and cheese on top of it. It smells good and you forget about your problems for a moment, because you’re too hungry and can only think about that for a while.

Until your phone buzzes in your pocket and you see a message from Daniel popping on the screen.

danirik said: are you alone right now

mybuttercup said: kind of

mybuttercup said: alexie is in the kitchen doing dinner for us and i’m procrastinating in the couch

You see in the app that Daniel starts typing and then stops midway. He does it twice and then the message arrives.

danirik said: are you up to something

It’s kind of suspicious because Daniel is normally straightforward with what he wants, especially with you. But he’s not going to the main point of the conversation and you frown your eyebrows reading the message.

mybuttercup said: up to what exactly?

Again, Daniel takes a while to answer, but he does it. When you read the message on the screen of his phone, you jump from the couch, holding the phone tight with your fingers.

danirik said: idk i’m kinda horny right now

You can feel your heart pounding against your chest. It’s unreal how much it affected you. Daniel haven’t said anything in particular with that, but he could only mean one thing with that message – and it was directed towards you.

Alex shows up in the living room, holding a bowl in each hand. He studies you for a second and raises an eyebrow in his friend’s direction. You are patting to say the least, your face has this reddish tone all over it, especially in the cheeks and ears, and you’re almost hugging his phone.

“What is happening?” Alex asks a little concerned and you just shoves your cellphone in Alex’s face, showing your text chat with Daniel. Alex’s mouth forms a perfect ‘o’ when he reads the last message, putting the bowls on the living room’s table for a moment “He’s willing to sext you!”

You groan loudly, falling on the sofa and hiding your red face in a pillow “Is he really?”

Alex takes a while to understand what his friend said because you said the words against the pillow, but when he understands, he jumps on his friend’s side on the couch and makes you look him in the face.

“Of course! He wouldn’t tell you he’s horny out of nowhere like this, has he done it before?” You deny and Alex almost rolls his eyes at you “Do you want to do it too?”

“I don’t know, Alexie.” You murmur, trying to hide again but Alex stops you before doing it “I’ve never done this and it’s Daniel we’re talking about here. He might send photos!”

The phone buzzes again and both you and Alex look at it the fastest you can.

danirik said: is it against our rules

“What rules?” Alex asks, taking his bowl of noodles and starts eating.

“We’ve made rules for this bet, you know, to make things more civilized. But this isn’t in any of the rules, I should’ve thought of it first.” You are whining and Alex just sighs at his friend freaking out in front of him.

“This is your opportunity, sweetie. It won’t kill you to go with the flow and enjoy this a little.” Alex says.

Another message arrives.

danirik said: welp nvm then

Alex is the one yelping this time, almost pouring his dinner on their couch. He looks at you and you look like a scared kitten lost in the middle of the night. 

“Come on, I can help you.” Alex tries again, now thinking that if they wait for too long, Daniel will give up for real or think that he went too far in their friendship’s boundaries.

“This is personal, Alex! How will you help me?” You look at your phone again, reading the messages Daniel sent and taking a deep breath.

“I can help you with the beginning and then you just need to continue it as if it was in real life. Start with the foreplay, you know.” Alex slurps his noodles and continues “But first, answer Daniel and tell him you’re down to it.”

You unlock your phone, your fingers trembling a little as you start to type on the screen.

mybuttercup said: it’s not against rules I guess but im having dinner right now

mybuttercup said: if you can wait a little until im done and in my room…

mybuttercup said: ten minutes

And as soon as you send the message, Daniel replies.

danirik said: sure ;)

“Ok, you did well.” Alex says, reaching for your bowl and handing it to his friend “Now you need to eat while I tell you what you need to do here.”

“I don’t feel like eating right now…” You are hyperventilating with what you’re about to do.

“But you need to, also I made the noodles for you, so eat while I teach you the ways.” Alex waits until you take the first bite to continue, “First, it’ll start a little weird, especially if you’ve never done it before, it’s more like ‘what are you doing right now?’ and then you need to answer things in a sexy way. He’s already horny, so he’ll probably start things and you continue with whatever is happening.”

“And if I just don’t know what to answer?” You are still frightened, but now your only option is to do it or ignore Daniel for the rest of your lives.

“You’ll know. Remember that you can’t be ashamed of whatever you’re talking about with him, he’s your best friend and you probably said worse things to him than just a little sexting.” Alex pats your shoulder, giving you courage to do it. It seems like such a big thing and it’s only Daniel wanting to be naughty with his best friend “Ah, and have fun, of course.”

Alex seems more into this than you. He waits until you finish your noodles, takes your bowl and leaves to the kitchen. So now it’s your turn to go to your room and start that nonsense with Daniel.

mybuttercup said: im back

You close the door from your room, feeling your heart racing again. You’re anxious and can already feel your body warm. You lay on your bed, waiting for Daniel to show up. Will Daniel say explicit things to you? You’ve spoken about Daniel’s sex life before, but details weren’t mentioned. And even if you have already seen Daniel naked, you’ve never seen him naked with a boner. Only with clothes on, most of the time Daniel’s hand was covering it, so that’s a field you’ve never walked in before with your best friend.

There’s a chance photos won’t happen too, and you would be a bit thankful if they didn’t.

Maybe you can send one to Daniel, to surprise him.

danirik said: hey

danirik said: have you eaten?

mybuttercup said: yea, left alex alone in the kitchen so i could talk to you

Not that you would complain about not doing chores, but you know Alex let this time slide because you had business to finish.

You remember that Daniel doesn’t know that Alex is aware about what you’re going to do, and Daniel knows Alex as good as you do, so you continue.

mybuttercup said: he started to whine about me not helping but i said i have a headache and he let me leave

mybuttercup said: heh

danirik said: were you this excited to chat with me?

danirik said: even lying to alexie

mybuttercup said: i told you i would be back in ten minutes

mybuttercup said: and here i am

mybuttercup said: :)

You bite your lower lip and remember Alex’s tips, so you think a little and send another text, before Daniel can reply.

mybuttercup said: and what are you doing right now?

danirik said: spent the day on the couch only left for training

danirik said: now im on the couch and talking to you

danirik said: you?

mybuttercup said: laying in bed and talking to you

danirik said: you could be laying in bed WITH ME right now

danirik said: just sayin

mybuttercup said: could i? and what would we be doing then

mybuttercup said: you should’ve invited me earlier

You slap your face, feeling the embarrassment bubbling inside your body. You can feel the heat in your face growing and as the conversation starts to lead to the point where Daniel wants to, the more you feel hot inside your clothes.

danirik said: first i would cuddle you because you know how much i like it

danirik said: i like to have you in my arms

danirik said: especially because you smell so nice 

danirik said: it makes melt every time i feel your scent so close to me

danirik said: and other things not very pg13 i guess

mybuttercup said: kjdskjfn

mybuttercup said: what-

mybuttercup said: whta you mean

danirik said: that i like your perfume?

danirik said: and i think the skin in your neck is very smooth 

danirik said: very kissable

mybuttercup said: you know that i have a sensible neck 

mybuttercup said: i wouldn’t let you get any way closer to my neck. not even in your wildest dreams.

danirik said: You. you say this now 

danirik said: i would get closer to your neck and whisper something in your ear

danirik said: and make my way to your neck with my lips

danirik said: leaving soft pecks all over it until i decide to fully kiss it

The messages start to cause some reaction in your body aside from awkwardness, anxiety or embarrassment. You can almost feel Daniel getting close to your neck and kissing it, sending shivers through all of your body.

mybuttercup said: if you do this

mybuttercup said: i will kick you in the balls

After sending the messages, you notice what you did. That would be your answer if Daniel ever said something like that normally, but that wasn’t a normal conversation between you and your best friend. This wasn’t the time for you to say anything like that.

danirik said: Yo

danirik said: WHAT THE FUCK

danirik said: KSKFJGNB

mybuttercup said: sorry heh

mybuttercup said: i got carried away force of habit etc etc

mybuttercup said: you know what would really happen if you kissed my neck

mybuttercup said: and it wouldn’t be a kick in the balls…

danirik said: no i don’t?

danirik said: i’ve never kissed your neck before remember

danirik said: duh

You think about what to say for a second. You have something in mind. As you start writing it, you stop, erase it and sigh loudly. You can’t say that to Daniel, not like that.

No, you can’t.

But you have nothing to lose there. You can even use that to tease Daniel a little. Alex told you to have some fun, so you will.

mybuttercup said: as you kiss my neck

mybuttercup said: it’s so sensible and you will be so close to me

mybuttercup said: i might moan a little

mybuttercup said: very close to your ear

mybuttercup said: you know i’m not quiet at all

Daniel doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, but you can see that he’s online. Perhaps you went a little too far and now Daniel is awkward to answer something to you, but that was what Daniel was asking for, right? 

danirik said: then i would know i was doing the right thing

danirik said: and continue doing it 

danirik said: until i thought your neck received the care it deserves

danirik said: then lower my kisses

It’s like Daniel is there with you, and you truly wish your best friend was indeed there. You can almost sense the kisses tracing its path through your neck, to your collarbone and to your chest. Would Daniel do it in real life, or was it just a momentary thing? You couldn’t tell exactly the difference there.

Daniel seems good with this entire sexting thing, and of course he does, he’s a normal person after all. He has had girlfriends before and he probably played the same card on them too, just repeating things he already told someone else.

Does Daniel do this often?

That’s the question.

With plenty of different people? 

Probably.

Doesn’t he have someone better to do it, so he’s doing it with you? What does this have to do with the bet after all?

And even if you want to continue this and see where it goes, you’re also not feeling it anymore. You’ve never felt the slightest kind of jealousy over your best friend, but the thought of others having him entirely and you can’t even tell him your feelings, makes you feel pettiness for yourself. You’ll never be more than just a good friend, something like a sister, to Daniel and this thought breaks your heart more than anything.

Sometimes you think this is why you’ve never had anyone by your side, because the thought of the person not being Daniel makes everything too overwhelming to you, and it wouldn’t be fair.

danirik said: are you there

danirik said: i can see you online skjfn

danirik said: are you doing something without letting me know?

Yeah, just overthinking my situation again , you think.

You feel a heavy weight in your chest, as if you’re sinking to the ground. You don't want to talk to Daniel anymore, you just want to lay and be gloomy until you fall asleep. Until you stop thinking about Daniel kissing your neck, with his soft lips discovering every part of your collarbone and chest.

You need to stop.

mybuttercup said: i have to go sleep

mybuttercup said: sorry…

mybuttercup said: we can talk tomorrow

mybuttercup said: good night

danirik said: good night cupcake…

danirik said: tests are over!!!!

danirik said: we should do something

danirik said: i feel like I haven’t seen you in ages

mybuttercup said: my room or yours ;)

danirik said: mine ;)

You sigh after reading the message, because there’s no escape from Daniel if it’s just both of you together - and you’re pretty sure Daniel didn’t invite the others to his house. After a week of flirting all the time and touching in inappropriate places, you don't feel as scared as you did the first time. 

You feel freer to try things with Daniel, but you’re still trying his best to hold it back a little. Your feelings are still in the game and you can’t let them control you, not right now, not after so many years hiding them deep inside your heart. After the event that led you to avoid Daniel for some days, you’re trying really hard to hold everything in and keep things like they always were.

°°°

“Really?” Daniel says looking up at you. Daniel is studying for his tests and you are laying on the floor of his room playing games on your phone, looking through your social media feeds and doing whatever. You’re beyond bored, you had enough of watching Daniel reading that book about engineering over, and over again. So you decide to try something new “Sitting on my lap? While I’m studying?”

Daniel has a defeated look on his face, almost grinnin in your direction when you put your legs on each side of Daniel’s waist. At first, Daniel doesn’t know where to put his hands, he would normally put them on the thighs, maybe a little higher… But it’s you and he still doesn’t know how to act when things like this happen between you.

“You’ve been studying for several hours, you need to relax a little.” You smirk and grind with your hips, watching the normal face Daniel does whenever you touch him in the right places. It’s something similar to a pleasure expression, but when the person tries to hold it back and fails “I know it’s a big test, but you could take a little break.”

And you grind again.

It’s not like you wanted to have sex with Daniel. Actually, you wanted to, but not in this situation. You’ve been holding back all of the uncontrollable hormones inside of you for so long, you could wait a little longer. Also, you’re pretty sure nothing like that would actually ever happen between you, but if it did, you would want it to be special. Not you just messing around in Daniel’s room before a big test.

You just want to tease Daniel because it’s fun. Daniel is desperate and gets turned on easily, so you only need to do the bare minimum and Daniel is already crawling in your direction. It’s fun to see Daniel like that, especially because it’s a part of Daniel that you’ve never had the chance to see before.

“You’re right, a break should be fine.” Daniel almost bites his lower lip, but decides to grin at your direction instead.

You can feel Daniel spreading his legs under you, making your legs spread too, and grabs both of your butt cheeks with his strong hands. Daniel tightens his grip and makes you grind again, this time slower and deeper

He continues to guide what your body should do, with his fingers tight around your ass “Are we dry humping?” You smile because you like it, especially because Daniel is so down to it too.

“I don’t know, are we?”

“I think so.” You say in a soft whisper because you’re starting to feel things, and feeling whatever is happening with Daniel’s down parts too. 

It’s a new sensation, to be finally able to share a moment like this with Daniel. It’s totally different from when you were fourteen and decided to share a first kiss, just to see how it was to kiss someone. It was just a peck on the lips, but it was the most intimate moment you shared in years. 

It was different from your almost-sexting weeks ago, because now you are face-to-face. You can feel Daniel under you. It’s physical, tangible and hot. You don't need to imagine anything, because you’re living it.

For a moment, you stop and think about this situation. Daniel has no idea about your true intentions. Of course, Daniel was the one to start the intense grinding, but he doesn’t know you are actually taking advantage of everything. And you feel awful thinking about it in this way.

You put your hands over Daniel’s and the boy smiles, thinking you wanted to take control, but it’s the opposite, you wanted to end everything right there “I-I should probably go home… you have to study.”

Daniel looks like a lost puppy, eyes begging for at least an explanation from his best friend “You… Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry if I did, you don’t have to leave, you can stay.” 

“No, I really should go.” You brushed off any chance Daniel could get off making you stay. You grab your jacket on the floor and leave the room before Daniel could even get up from his chair.

While you’re walking home, you feel nauseous because you know you’re doing something wrong. It’s not fair with both of you, but you can’t think of a way out of this situation.

You decide to avoid Daniel for a whole week, until Daniel asks you to come over, so you do.

You still have to win the bet and being impersonal and avoiding Daniel isn’t the way to win him over. Daniel’s love language is physical and touches, so that’s your chance to make a move again.

Daniel would never resist your cuddles, you’re sure of it. 

When you arrive, Daniel is watching something and eating snacks on his couch. It’s the perfect mood for a cuddling session and you are glad Daniel’s brain always works in your favor.

You watch an episode of some series Daniel has been binge watching since early that day and in the middle of the second episode, you’re already tangled together. It was easier than you imagined, because all you had to do was lean against Daniel’s shoulder and Daniel did the rest. You’ve already cuddled before, especially when Daniel feels down and sad, he can be really clingy. But Daniel is being more… loving? If that’s the right word to use in that situation. 

You’re on the floor, you're sitting in the middle of Daniel’s legs. You gave up on the sofa because it was too small for both of you and you honestly hated that sofa since day one, it was too uncomfortable. 

You like this new cuddling more, because Daniel keeps kissing his neck and caressing your arms. There’s not much difference from when you used to cuddle when Daniel needed to, but you would normally just stay hug on the bed during the whole day. Now, Daniel is really cuddling you, not just waiting for you to comfort him. 

This time it looks like what Daniel would do with his love interest. You saw him doing it to many of them, and deep inside envied all of them. Daniel is romantic and his love can be really intense when he’s into someone. You've never thought you would experience this type of relationship with Daniel after so many years of crushing him. It always felt too far away from your reality, but now that you’re in it, you enjoy it.

“I need to ask something.” Daniel says, placing another round of kisses in your neck. And you don’t feel like punching him at all.

“What do you want to ask?” You are ticklish in your neck, but you don't mind if Daniel continues to kiss it for the rest of the day “It isn’t related to the episode we just watched, right? You always get distracted when we watch something and I always have to explain everything that happened in it to you. But this time it’ll be a little difficult, I already forgot how many times he went back in time.”

Daniel keeps quiet for a second and then says:

“No, it’s about us.” The way Daniel says ‘ us ’ makes you turn around and face him. Nothing good comes from Daniel using that type of tone and speaking about a relationship “It’s nothing serious, don’t worry.”

You gulp because maybe Daniel noticed you have a crush on him, and now he wants to claim that he won the bet and kick you out of his life “Okay, so what about us?”

“I was just wondering, this is weird, right?” Daniel scratches the back of his head, looking away from your eyes “We’re best friends and we never had something like this. I know all of this is because we made a bet and we’re trying to win this by seducing each other, but when this ends, what will happen? Are we friends with benefits now?”

“No, I think we’re still just friends.” You feel like throwing up, or maybe running away. You can still end the bet and things will go back to normal, but deep in your guts you want to continue this fantasy and have Daniel treating you like you’re in a relationship for a little longer. You’re selfish after all.

“So what will happen? The bet will end at some point.” Daniel sighs, a defeated sigh.

“In the end one of us will have fallen in love.” You shrug, trying to sound unbothered by the matter “And probably heartbroken too. It's a pity to fall in love with your best friend.”

Daniel keeps silent for a moment, making you even more nervous “We should add more rules into this bet, it’s still too abstract in my opinion and I get confused.”

“Okay, let’s solve this then.” You cross your legs and start to point out everything you’ve discussed about the bet “I said I can make you fall in love with me and you said you can make me fall in love with you first, that’s how the bet started, right?” Daniel nods “We can do everything to win this bet, BUT nothing during classes or when our friends are with us. And no kissing. This is a long-term bet, we have all the time we want and the winner can make the other do whatever they want as the prize. I don’t know what will happen next, Daniel, because I don’t know how our reactions will be if the other wins the bet. It’s crazy to bet on something like this because it involves feelings and all, but that’s what we agreed to do.”

Daniel thinks for a while and says “I want to add another rule.” You just nod at him “We need to know when and if the other falls in love, right? So the new rule is: confess your feelings the moment you realize you’re in love. No lying, just accept you lost the best.”

You freak out inside because you already know you’re in love with Daniel, but you’re not ready to confess it right away. You can’t just say in Daniel’s face that you’ve been in love with him for the past few years, even before the bet even started. You can’t say without it sounding bad; Daniel will feel betrayed and he’ll assume you started all of this to take advantage of him.

No, you can’t confess.

“Deal.” You say with a straight voice. You need to get out of this situation so you continue “You know Daniel, now that we figured everything out, I really want to know the end of this episode, so…” Daniel rolls his eyes and nods.

You sit like before, in your spot in between Daniel’s legs. Daniel hugs you and hides his face in the curve of his neck, holding you tight.

You have made your mind – he needs to forget about Daniel, quickly. For your own good.

°°°

It’s 4 a.m when Daniel’s phone starts ringing. He reaches for it on the bed table, and with his eyes almost shut he looks at the bright screen. ‘My buttercup’ is shining in it, so he picks it up right away.

“Cupcake?” He says with his husky voice, confused with the call.

“Daniel, can you come pick me up, please?”

°°°

“Our relationship labeled as friendship

I wonder if I’ll ever ruin it

I just hover around you as if I was lost”

You feel completely out of control, everything that happens is just a huge mess.

It’s something new in your life because you have always been in control of everything. If you knew the bet would make you feel this way, you would have never even started it. But now you’re here, in the middle of your friends for Daniel’s birthday.

You decided you would wait until Daniel’s birthday was gone to tell him about everything - you couldn’t ruin such a special date for your best friend with your bullshit. Once, Daniel told you his birthday was the best day on earth for him; he liked the attention and the gifts, that everything always works in his favor and he could eat all the cake he wanted to.

You can’t confess to him in such circumstances and ruin his birthday.

“Have you sent it already?” Alex whispers, eyeing everyone sitting around the table in Daniel’s apartment.

Charles is stuffing all the cake he can inside his mouth, while Max rolls his eyes and eats another slice of pizza; Max was more of a savory guy, so cake wasn’t that attractive to him.

George is holding a glass of wine, watching everyone with almost shut eyes. You knew he drank too much wine for a night and now is sleepy as hell. Daniel and Pierre are with birthday hats, drinking beer and eating all the snacks they can. Pierre would punch Daniel in the arm every time he stole a snack from Pierre’s bowl, leading him to pout, but laugh just a moment later.

Alex is dancing in the middle of the living room; he drank too much beer and is drunk too, so whenever he approaches you, you would feed Alex with something sweet, trying to sober up your friend.

“I don’t know about this, Alex.” You sigh, keeping your voice down, but with the loud music you’re sure no one would listen to your conversation “I mean, he already saw me naked before.”

Alex sits beside you and puts his hand on your shoulder, looking straight inside his eye “Being naked isn’t the only way to turn someone on, sweetie, and you know it.” Alex tsks because he feels like you’ve lost all of your flirting skills, that Alex knows they exist, when the only one you’re supposed to conquer is Daniel “Also, it’s a pretty picture, he’ll probably go nuts with it.”

“Did YOU go nuts with it?” You are grossed out by thinking that. Alex was almost like your brother, he couldn’t think of your body in that way.

“You disgust me, loser.” He grimaces “Anyways, do you want me to send it then?” 

“No, I’ve got this.” You shrug it off, holding your cellphone tight inside your fingers “Should I wait until we sing ‘Happy birthday’?” 

“Charles almost ate all of the cake, but yeah, you should send the photo after it.” Alex looks around, grins at you and then yells “Let’s sing ‘Happy Birthday’!”

You try not to look so surprised with the sudden suggestion because everyone is cheering and excited with the candles, it would look bad if you winced at Alex’s actions. Daniel would think it’s directed to him and it would be difficult for you to explain the situation to your best friend.

Daniel looks so happy and cheerful, you don’t want to take that away from him.

They put the candles on a fried chicken because the cake is already destroyed and Pierre is the one to start the Happy Birthday’s singing. You can’t breathe properly, but keep on singing, trying not to look suspicious to your friends. Daniel’s stare crosses with yours and for a moment you keep just looking at each other. Daniel looks so happy, like really happy, the wrinkles around his eyes are more prominent because of his smile. 

Everyone is cheering and yelling, but the first thing you do after they finish the ‘Happy Birthday’ part is unlock your phone and send Daniel your picture. It’s not a nude, because it would be too obvious - Daniel sent one to you last week and all you did was laugh because he saw him naked so many times it wasn’t a surprise at all to you. Even if your face turned bright red instantly, but you were alone, no one needs to know it.

You needed to go somewhere Daniel never reached. Something he thought you would never do in front of your best friend, with all the no romantic feelings in your relationship. Cuddling and neck kissing, but no romantic feelings. At least three dates a week, but no romantic feelings.

Everything is a hundred percent normal between best friends.

That’s how you imagined Daniel’s brain would think about everything that was happening between you in the last few weeks.

Alex is sure Daniel is already in love, you think he is crazy.

You two promised to tell whenever you fell in love.

“You never told him”, Alex said to you when you used that excuse, but it was different. You didn’t confess because it was a much deeper matter, not just because of the bet. If it was just the bet, you would’ve already confessed. Probably.

You can see Daniel take his phone from his pocket, a frown growing in his forehead while he looks at the screen of it. It takes him a moment to unlock the phone. He looks up in your direction and grins, probably knowing what that photo meant, and then unlocking the phone.

Daniel’s expression changes to completely astonished with a hint of dumbfoundedness in it. Maybe horror too.  Daniel glares at the photo for too long and that makes you uneasy because you wanted a reaction from him, anything at all.

Actually, you didn’t know what kind of reaction you wanted or expected, you’ve never experienced that with Daniel before and you also thought you broke the friends’ rule a second time. But again, it is just a photo.

Daniel looks up in your direction again, and he looks somewhat angry. Not as angry as when you broke his CD player, but the kind you can see his jaw clenching and his eyes narrow, studying you.

He goes back to the phone and takes a deep breath, his eyes search for you and he mouth-shouts “Bedroom” to you. You just tilt your head, not getting what he means, so Daniel does it again.

“My. Bedroom. Now.” 

You gulp because you feel like you’re going to get scolded.

Daniel looks beyond pissed, or maybe it’s just you increasing everything inside your head. You get up from your chair and see Daniel doing the same. Daniel puts his hands in his pocket and walks to the hall, so fast you lose his figure for a moment. You look back and your friends don’t seem to mind that you are living the small party. If they didn’t miss the birthday boy, they wouldn’t miss you as well.

The room’s door is opened, so you peek inside of it, trying to read the atmosphere before getting in. Daniel just looks like he’s about to explode, you can see his cheeks flushed a bright color of red.

You don't feel like Daniel would be physical with you, maybe scream at you? He looks more frustrated than anything. In any case, you should close the door after getting in, Daniel can be unpredictable sometimes.

When you enter the room, you do it in slow motion, saving some time before Daniel criticizes you for what you did. You close the door behind you, leaning your body against it, not wanting to get any closer to Daniel. Daniel looks at you, holding your stare for a couple of minutes, until he reaches for you. It’s not the reaction you expected at all, but Daniel goes at you, his stare so intense you could disintegrate right there, on his room’s floor.

“I know this is in the rules, but you broke one too, so…” Daniel speaks too fast, holding you with both his hands on the sides of your face. Your mind is swirling around him, ready to have a meltdown in that moment, right there. Daniel is so close there’s no other rule to break than the kissing one and that makes you lose it in the few seconds you had to think about what was happening “Actually, can I…”

Daniel doesn’t have to end his sentence because you are already kissing him, all the red signs starting to appear in your brain, telling you to stop it right away. But you don't and Daniel doesn’t too, he actually deepens the kiss and runs his hands from your face to the lower part of your back. Daniel tastes like beer and candy. It’s a bittersweet taste, but you don't mind because you’ve been waiting for this to happen for so long that everything seems perfect to you.

It’s not like you once imagined it, because it’s way sloppier and you never thought Daniel was the messy type of kisser. But there was a lot going on with you, all the hands running on your curves and tongues out of rhythm. You hold Daniel back and make the kiss slower, taking control over the kiss and Daniel follows you, biting your lip every now and then, tasting your flavors.

Daniel lets a groan escape his mouth, trying to reach for some air after several minutes of kissing.

Daniel is out of breath. He’s only pecking your lips, but not kissing you properly, just not wanting to let the moment end. He doesn’t close his eyes and you watch him in front of you, so vulnerable and tamed, you felt like you could ask for anything in that moment and Daniel would do it. Start a war, rob a bank, steal the sun or just confess your feelings… and Daniel would welcome those twisted thoughts and feelings you had for years about your best friend.

“Daniel…” You take a deep breath, ready to say something.

“I like you, cupcake.” Daniel blinks twice and shakes his head “We promised we would say something if we were sure and now… I am.”

“Did my photo in lingerie make you fall in love?” You try to laugh, but you’re sinking in your own mind, not knowing how to cope with what Daniel just said because now it would be weird to confess too.

You just won the bet.

“It wasn’t the photo.” Daniel lowers his voice as if he’s telling a secret to you “I just feel like I want you all the time and I kind of lost my control here because it wasn’t my intention to kiss you, but that’s not what I’m trying to say. I love you, cupcake. As a friend, of course, but maybe more than a friend too.”

You doze off, Daniel’s words echoing inside your brain. It’s not like you ever imagined things to go this way, not even a little bit. You always thought things would end up with you confessing and being rejected.

Daniel didn’t go as planned and just dumped you. No, he had to fall in love too.

You feel lost, weird and kind of happy. You still don't know how to react, you should probably confess too, Daniel would laugh and the bet would end up as a tie. But you say nothing, you just stare at Daniel’s direction, studying his rose cheeks and plump lips.

“I’m sorry, I went a little too far. We should go back to the party, they’ll notice we’ve been gone.” Daniel says, patting his best friend’s shoulder. You just nod, starting to open the door behind him.

You didn’t have the chance confess too. 

°°°

Daniel pulls the car and waits for you to come out of the house party and enter the car. Everyone looks wasted, some of them are laying down on the sidewalk, with friends helping them to at least survive.

Daniel can hear the loud music coming from inside the place, it’s a deep beat, but Daniel can’t really recognize which song it is because it sounds distorted from where he is. He can see you getting up from the sidewalk you were sitting on, near where Daniel parked, and walking to the car’s direction. Opening the door, closing it and putting the seat bell.

You don't say a thing, not even a hi to Daniel.

He smells like cigarettes, booze and sweat. Daniel is pretty sure he can see a beer stain in your jeans. You turn around to the window and keep watching the night sky, so silent it’s like you’re not even there. Daniel is confused because he’s sure something is up with you. You normally go to parties every weekend and never called Daniel to pick you up before. It’s so out of ordinary and weird, Daniel doesn’t know how to act, so he stops the car.

“It’s my prize, Daniel. I want you to give me a ride to my dorm.” You say.

You eye him, not fully looking at Daniel’s direction and go back to the window, looking in whatever direction, but Daniel’s “Did something happen? Can you tell me what?”

“Nothing.” You sigh.

“I’m serious, what happened?” Daniel didn’t buy the monotone you used with him, he knows you too well to be fooled by a simple ‘nothing’.

You gulp, turning in Daniel’s direction. Daniel is watching you with worried eyes, the same exact ones he uses when you are sick, or hurt. It’s as if Daniel can feel what you are feeling, but doesn’t understand it.

When you open your mouth to speak, you stop for a moment again, thinking, and start to cry.

Big and round tears fall from your eyes, washing your face with them. You try to brush them off, but every time a tear is pulled away, another one appears in its place. You cry so hard you can’t even breathe. Your head feels like it is about to explode and your chest is tight. You start sobbing and trying to say something to Daniel, but Daniel can’t understand a thing.

“T-They… they…” You try to continue, but nothing comes from it. 

Daniel doesn’t have a reaction at first. He normally doesn’t know what to do when people start crying, but what makes him more numb is that you hardly cry. He saw you crying maybe twice during all the years you’ve been friends. Of course, you whine and sometimes you let a tear or two fall, but cry like a baby like that, it’s something new.

With gentle fingers, Daniel reaches for your face and starts to caress your cheeks slowly. He wipes some tears and touches your hair, brushing it away from your forehead and face “Take a deep breath.”

You do what he says and take a deep breath, your restless hands rubbing your knees, trying to calm yourself down. Daniel continues to try to calm his best friend down, even if you spent the night there, trying to figure out what is really happening. Daniel can see some red spots around your neck and it makes his heart sink a little, not wanting to know the story behind the bruises. You slowly stop crying and breathe normally, but you don't look at Daniel’s direction, not even a single glance.

“I was hanging out with some friends, they were all drunk. We started talking about some people in our campus and they just told me about a rumor that goes around about me and… For a moment I-I thought about you and I started to panic and I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t mean to call you, but your number is the only one in my favorite’s list so I called you, but…”

You let some tears fall, wiping them quickly away from your face. Daniel doesn’t know what to say because he knows about the rumor, but he doesn’t want to believe you thought he would do something like that to his best friend “Why am I included in this?”

You wheeze at Daniel’s words “Daniel, there’s a rumor on campus about me. A very specific one about people trying to sleep with me in these three years and that’s why people call me the Ice Princess behind my back, and there’s a bet with the people around campus about who can take me to their beds and have sex with me, but you don’t see anything related to you in this?”

Daniel tries to control anything he’s feeling inside of him. He’s running his hands around his hair and looking redder and redder as he controls to not yell with you.

“Really? I’ve known you my whole life, but you think I would do something like this to you?” He puts his hands on the wheel of his car, trying to calm down a bit and waiting for you to say something.

“You’re popular and I don’t know, people thought it was funny.” Daniel looks like he’s about to burst “It’s just that everything fits so well, Daniel. Our bet, you getting closer to me in a way you’ve never done before and the thing at your birthday. The next step is obvious in my opinion.”

“Next step? What, me trying to have sex with you?” Daniel tries to sound as sarcastic as possible, or else you would believe this was his evil plan from the beginning “You forgot you were the one to start all of this? I was just drunk and went with your craziness.”

“So you didn’t think about it even for a second? You had everything in your hands.” You still want to take something from Daniel, maybe a confession, it would be easier if Daniel did all of that out of pure selfishness.

“You know, it pisses me off that you even thought I would do something like this to you. Humiliate you in front of everyone just to win this stupid thing? I just confessed to you, dumbass. I just said I love you as in more than a friend and you think this about me. I liked you for so long and when I finally realized and said something you mislead my actions. Why would you even consider this crazy thought in the first place?”

“Because in my stupid mind it makes sense, Daniel!” For a few seconds, it escapes your mind what Daniel just said, but you overlook every word again “Liked me for so long?” 

Daniel freezes there, looking at you. He didn’t intend to say that, not in a moment like that. You just accused Daniel of being a jerk with you and now he’s being whipped as always “Yeah, for years, I think.”

“Years? But what about Max and…?” You try to not sound jealous when mentioning it, because if Daniel is just messing with you, you might sound too unsettled.

“Jesus fucking christ, I have no idea where all this Max thing came from, but I’ve never had a crush on him.” Daniel rolls his eyes, leaning on his seat and crosses his arms.

“What? You were all over him the whole time, everything you spoke was about Max.” You blink a couple of times, to make sure it is really Daniel in front of you “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“When you were gone for that week, when you broke your finger, Max was the one to fill the gap you left. I know, it wasn’t that deep, but we were almost the same person at that time and I missed you so much. And if you ask Max, everything we spoke was about you, he gave me tips about my feelings towards you. I guess it didn’t help at all because Max is terrible with feelings, but at least he tried. And for years I thought I was confusing my feelings for you because of what he said to me.” Daniel speaks everything too fast, almost eating some words and making weird sentences that you almost would not understand.

“What about your girlfriends and boyfriends?”

“Oh, I couldn’t wait forever for you, cupcake.” Daniel sighs, glancing at his best friend’s direction “At some point I just accepted you were only my best friend and I needed to move on, but then you made the bet and I couldn’t run from it.”

You don't know what to say, because it all sounds too unrealistic.

Daniel crushing on him since forever? Doesn’t sound like something you should believe. Daniel never showed his true feelings towards you, except from that one time he went to take care of you when you were sick, or when he got in a fight because some boys from school said some bad things about you. Or when he helped you finish your essay in the middle of the night, on a Monday before his race test.

But you thought he did all of that just because you were best friends.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” You whine with your crying voice, feeling like everything would be much easier if Daniel just said things right away. Or even you, but that’s a small detail.

“Because you’re my best friend and you’ve never shown anything more than just friend’s love and all the ‘ I don’t want to ruin our friendship ’ crossed my mind.” It was amusing to think both of you were idiots trying to hide your feelings; one because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship and the other because she couldn’t handle rejection. “But I’ll get over it, you don’t have to worry about my feelings. Just please, never doubt me again.”

You hold your breath for a moment thinking about your next actions.

You could end everything there, you wouldn’t get over each other for sure, you’ve been in this for so long that thinking about getting over anything at this point is almost impossible.

At least for you.

Or you can pretend as if nothing happened, the next day you can tell Daniel you were too drunk and don't remember a thing.

It’s a rough choice, because the last one is so much easier.You’ve been hiding everything for so long, you can pretend nothing happened for a little longer. The one with feelings and commitment was a much more complicated choice, especially because you had no idea about what would happen after you got together.

Maybe you wouldn’t even get together, now that you doubted Daniel and everything. Everything is just messed up now.

“Okay Daniel, if we’re going to do this we need to start from the beginning and not just cover everything for years and be constipated about our feelings.” Daniel frowns his forehead, not getting where you are going with all of this. But you continue before Daniel can get the wrong idea “First of all, I hate that we waited so long to speak about this. We literally had to come up with a bet to make things clear about this matter and it should be so much easier. We’ve always been so close and open with each other, we should’ve talked about this when it started. Maybe the fifteen years old me was too scared of rejection, and it only grew inside of me with the passing years. Because I always saw you with someone else and never pictured me by your side like them. It’s still a weird thought because I never thought I had the chance, but if what you say is true then there’s no running from it, right? There’s no point in suffering more just because we don’t know what will happen. Can it end pretty bad? Of course it can, knowing us there’s at least a hundred different horrible ways to screw things between us. Can it change us? Well, if you take into account that we’re always changing, for bad or for good, there’s not much we can do about it. Can it end our friendship? Never in a billion years. I would never let this happen, even if I need to step in my pride and do anything to keep you in my life, I would do it. So there’s nothing we need to worry about, right?”

Daniel takes a moment and nods “So, what you’re saying is…?”

“That you’re really dense and never noticed that I’ve had a crush on you since forever.” You roll your eyes.

“Have you?” Daniel raises his eyebrows and looks shocked, but with a little bit of irony in his tone “What does this mean exactly?”

“That we’re probably going to date?” You sound as if you think Daniel is dumb, which you totally think he is “Sorry, I’m not as good as confessing as you’re.”

“You just did a whole essay about our ‘relationship’ but can’t ask me properly about it.” You think about kneeling and doing a show about asking Daniel to be your boyfriend, but that would be something Alex would do, not you. Maybe if you were drunk or in front of your friends, but just you and Daniel makes you a little shy about being so extra in a moment like this. Also, you’re inside of a car, no kneeling space.

“Oh, Great Daniel Ricciardo, do you want to be my boyfriend?” You say, hiding all the redness in your face, but it goes down your neck and up your ears. Daniel can see it even with the dim light from the pole.

“Two things I never thought I would have the pleasure to be alive to see: you being so shy about something and you asking me to be your boyfriend.” Daniel chuckles.

“Answer the damn question, Daniel.” 

“Oh, you want me to answer it even if I was the first to confess. But, yeah, I want to be your boyfriend.” Daniel shrugs and you hit him on his arm, both of you letting soft giggles escape “Now that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend can we kiss? And hold hands? And cuddle, like, all the time? And touch each other in inappropriate spots even in public?”

“I guess the last one is a bit too much, maybe only sometimes. But the rest, a big yes for those.” Daniel lets his hands fall on his side and then tries to reach for your’s, grabbing your fingers first and then holding your hand. It feels warm, safe and right to do it, so Daniel squeezes your hand to make sure everything it is real. And it indeed is. 

“How are we going to tell our friends about this? They’ll freak out or not believe it.” Daniel imagines Max tsking because he already knew Daniel’s feelings. Pierre would laugh in your faces because it was too obvious. George and Charles wouldn’t believe it, they would think it’s just pretending to fool your friends. Alex would make a play about your love life and make the next university’s recital be about the foolish best friends that were too damn idiots to know how to deal with feelings. And finally when Lando comes back from his trip he would join Pierre and laugh in your faces, but help you to make a silly poem for Daniel. Something really cheesy and stupid that you would mention only when you’re drunk or during midnight talks. You are the type to spill things when you’re sleepy.

“I bet I can hide it better than you. I’m almost an actor, you know. It’s easy for me to hide things.” Daniel looks as if he’s superior to you.

“And I bet I can hide it better than you, because now that I know how you play your games and now that I know that you’re crazy about me things are much easier for me.”

“Cupcake, you’re so naive.” Daniel runs his hands up until his fingers are on the side of your neck “I can’t wait to win another bet over you.”

#daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo #f1 #daniel ricciardo fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x you #formula 1 #daniel ricciardo x reader #f1 fic #awriting

[fieldofdaisiies]

𝑫𝒂𝒚 𝟕: 𝑭𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒚

Azris Hogwarts AU for @erisweek2023🧡 ~6k words

• ──────────────────── •

As the clock's hands show 11am the Hogwarts Express lurches forward with a jolt. The train's whistle is louder than the chatting of the pupils who haven't seen each other for over six weeks, finally reunited and trying to find places to sit down. 

And so, once again the journey begins, for some of the pupils for the first time, for some for the last time. 

Eris loads his hand luggage above him, rolls back his shoulders, smoothes out his white shirt and then claims his usual seat alongside his house mates. His long legs are stretched beneath the small table, crossed at the ankle. And thank Godrick, the mark he bears since this summer, his mark, is hidden beneath the sleeve of his shirt. It is nothing he is proud of, nothing he wanted, but he had no other choice. 

Slowly, Eris' attention returns to reality. His friend, Tamlin laughs loudly as Elain Archeron trips over his out-stretched foot. He is sneering at her, her disheveled demeanour, having fallen to the ground and landed on her bag. Plants and books about Herbology are scattered around her, pages torn, branches of the plants and flowers broken or twisted. 

The young Hufflepuff only bites down on her lower lip, tears rising in her eyes from the pain that erupts in her knees where she hit the ground. "Foul beetle," she grumbles through gritted teeth as she collects her things, and gets up. She hurdles away, quickly following after her older sister, Feyre who is already in the next compartment, not having noticed her falling. Tamlin is lucky, because if Feyre or Nesta had noticed what he had done they would have punched him right in the face.  

"Isn't the little Mudblood dating your bastard brother?" Dagdan asks. He snorts and points the end of his wand at Eris. 

The seventh year Slytherin flashes him a glower and shakes his head. "Don't mention that, or I will curse your stupid ass."

Deep inside his heart, Eris loves his little brother. But no one can know this, no one can know about their secret meetings where he warns Lucien about what is happening in the world, where he checks to make sure Lucien is alright. And Lucien…he can never know that he now bears…his mark. Koschei's. There are so many secrets now, secrets that weren't always there. Once, Eris used to be a happy, young boy, joyful about going to Hogwarts. This no longer is. Now he is serious, sad, torn and twisted. Scared. 

"Last year, huh?" "Fucking finally," Amren chuckles, claiming her seat next to Eris. He moves over a little, making room for the short, dark-haired witch. 

Dagdan snorts, but then is attention moves to Nesta Archeron passing them, chin held high and not deigning her housemates a single look. 

"Not sitting with us, beautiful?" Dagdan drawls.

Nesta turns her head a little, gives him a once over, her stare flat. "I would rather sleep in the Forbidden Forest or kiss the giant squid in the Great Lake than sit with you."

Just like every year, Nesta sits with her sisters, and their boyfriends and her boyfriend. Cassian is in Gryffindor and it took her a damn long time to allow herself to fall for him, but now she loves him more than anything. 

She does find two of her classmates alright — Eris an Amren— but the rest she can really do without and since she only tolerates the other two, she rather opts to sit with her family and friends. 

"Making out with the squid is probably not much different to making out with Dagdan, is it?" Eris comments, a sly smile on his lips, as his eyes trail over Nesta. 

That makes Tamlin laugh wickedly, but the slap he earns himself from Tamlin immediately shuts him up. 

Nesta is gone in the meantime, not paying anymore attention to them.

"Big mouth, Vanserra. You are the one who hasn't hooked up with anyone in ages."

"We had summer holidays, how would you know?" the oldest Vanserra brother shoots back, hoping his glower will edge onto the Cruciatus Curse. 

He is not in the mood to talk about anything related to love. Love is fucking awful, and annoys him. And in all the chaos, and whirlwind in his mind, definitely something that is not on top of his priority list. 

Tamlin only snorts and shakes his head, not finding the right words for a come back. 

Tired of the conversation, the Vanserra boy leans his head back after a moment, and closes his eyes. And then…Bloody hell!

Maybe love is higher up on his priority list than he thought. His thoughts immediately start to wander, going to…to the stupid Ravenclaw half-blood…And he immediately shuts up his brain. These are thoughts he can't allow. 

They are long past London when Eris blinks open his eyes, absently staring out of the window. "They are recruiting," he hears Tamlin say and quickly hits is leg under the table. What a fool, talking out loud about it. "Who?" Dagdan asks, the obvious idiot he is.

"You know who," Tamlin answer him, but Eris' warning glare is enough for him to not continue speaking about this topic. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

The atmosphere is gloomy, the scenery eerie, no excitement comes from the pupils as the Hogwarts Express comes to a halt at the platform of Hogsmead station. Students leave the train, crowding along the platform, getting ready to go to the castle. Anxiousness and nervousness weigh heavy in the air, a sense of uncertainty going along with. Koschei is rising to power, and people —mostly Muggles of course— grow more and more afraid the imminent danger. 

Eris Vanserra is nothing, but elegant and arrogant confidence when he steps out onto the train platform, smoothing one hand over his neatly combed hair, the other moving into the pocket of his trousers. The air around him is crisp, a breeze carrying the scent of pine and moss, as it touches his skin. His amber eyes scan his surroundings, halting on the big gates. 

Beside him, Tamlin Fahrhan grumbles loudly, complaining about something Eris couldn't care less about. Dagdan wears an amused smirk on his face, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers as he saunters a few steps behind the two boys. "Our last year," he comments. 

But Eris does not answer him, his eyes are still on the gates, on the Aurors behind them, searching every pupil and all the luggage upon arriving. Cold sweat breaks out on the back of his neck, a kernel of panic and anxiousness taking root inside of his chest. 

"Can you believe this nonsense?" Eris mutters, his tone tinged with disdain. "Searching our trunks as if we're hiding dark secrets." Like the fucking huge secret hidden beneath his sleeve! He is terrified, but masks it in sheer arrogance and disdain. 

Tamlin snorts and shakes his head. "Honestly, do they think we are Death Eaters or what?"

Dagdan chuckles, his eyes dancing with mischief. "Well, that I would not deem as something bad, you know, Tam." 

The two boys chuckle, but Eris doesn't. He feels like throwing up, the tattoo feeling like it is burning its way right through his pale skin. Shame and regret feel like they are sinking claws into Eris' heart. 

As they make their way towards the gates, their grumbling continues, complaining about being searched and all the unnecessary things happening, but Eris does not pay attention. He is caught in his own mind, pained and haunted by what had been done to him during the summer holidays. It wasn't his choice — the choice was made for him. Beron made this choice for him. 

The Aurors check them only quickly, Eris glowers at them, hoping they remember who his father is so they will let him pass — and they do. 

The majestic Thestrals —only visible to Tamlin at this point— are awaiting them when they reach the carriages. Eris, Tamlin, and Dagdan climb into the carriage, no conversation happening between them, until Dagdan unfortunately has to open his mouth.  

"At least the Mudblood is pretty. All three sisters actually are," Dagdan mumbles, gazing back into the distance when the carriage departs. 

"By how much you talk about them, one could get the impression you have a crush on Elain Archeron!"

"Shut up, Tamlin!" Dagdan growls and slumps back into his seat. He flips off his friend, with a grimace on his face. 

Once again Eris is in his own mind. The creaking of the wheels, mingles with the wind around them as they continue their journey to the castle.

As the carriages come to a halt in front of the castle, Eris, Tamlin, and Dagdan step out onto the cobblestone, heading for the inside. 

The Great Hall, brightly lit and welcoming, awaits them, its doors wide open to let everyone in. In here everything seems lighter, the people happier — chatter and even laughter fills Eris' ears and he looks around in the Great Hall. 

Eris once again wears his demeanour of arrogant confidence, a mask and shield he has perfected for himself. He veils his face in cool boredom, strutting towards his house table, just when someone walks past him. Not someone…Azriel Moretti. 

He is also already dressed in his robes, his dark blue Ravenclaw tie in perfect place just like the glasses sitting on his nose, as he wants to walk to his table. 

All house tables are adorned with goblets, and plates filled with all sorts of dishes. But Eris is quicker, not sure why he even bothers to talk to him…maybe because he wants to spend time with the handsome Ravenclaw, with the beautiful brown eyes and the lovely glasses? Ugh, hell no…

"Moretti." Eris' lips curl into a sly smile as he turns to Azriel, who has stopped walking and also turns around.

"Well, well, well," Eris drawls, his voice dripping with a feigned air of superiority. "Look who we have here. Look who has returned again, the Ravenclaw half-blood, so very smart and brilliant. Must be tough, not being part of either side, huh? Not a pureblood and not a mudblood either."

But Azriel looks unfazed, tired, his expression emotionless. He stares at Eris for a long moment and then brings one hand up to adjust his glasses. 

"Being half-blood doesn't seem to be bad to me, and everything is better than being like you — a pure breed who thinks that that sort of thing really matters in life."

Eris raises an eyebrow, momentarily caught off guard by Azriel's unexpected response. His usual air of arrogance threatens to waver. His nostrils flare, eyes sharpening on the Ravenclaw. "Oh, how wonderful of you, Embracing your…oddness."

Azriel's lips curl. "Better odd than like you."

When the fuck did he grow that confidence to answer back to me? the Slytherin boy thinks. His glower only intensifies, but damn is it hot that Azriel turned so confident and strong over the holidays.

Eris opens his mouth to retort, but no words come out, he is too stunned. Azriel's subtle confidence has left him momentarily speechless and he does not like this. Before he can find his voice, Azriel leans forward a bit. He is the same height as Eris, another thing the Slytherin doesn't really like about him. But then…there is hardly anything the Slytherin really doesn't like about Azriel. 

Over the last year he has figured out that he actually likes too many things about Azriel. Too many things no one can ever find out about. No one can know about his crush, it would be his end.

"You know, Eris," Azriel says, his voice dropping an octave, "I am pretty alright with the way I am. It took me a damn long time to accept it, but now I can say I feel good about myself, my heritage. And no matter what complexes you have about your own heritage, don't leave your frustration out on someone else, it doesn't make you a better person. It only makes you look pathetic. "

Eris' cheeks flush slightly, embarrassment flooding his entire being. He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure. "Don't get ahead of yourself, Moretti. I was just messing around with you, not my problem that you don't understand some fun."

Azriel chuckles coldly, his laughter like a melody that caresses Eris' skin. "Of course, Vanserra." Azriel's gaze is stern and hard. "But I want you to remember one thing: it's not the blood that defines a wizard, but his heart and mind. Maybe you should remind yourself of that from time to time."

With that, Azriel turns around and walks away, not deigning the Slytherin boy another glance. Frustrated, embarrassed and deeply annoyed, Eris heads to the Slytherin table, his thoughts a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. 

What goes unnoticed by him is that as Azriel walks over to the Ravenclaw table, he turns and his gaze lingers on Eris for a moment before he sits down and dives into his meal, his heart beating with a secret that is only his share. But he will never do so.

The feast begins, the pupils are greeted, Headboy and Headgirl are announced — Rhysand and Feyre, to no ones surprise. 

Then the pupils are warned about the dangers lurking outside the castle walls. And then the pupils are sent of to their dorm rooms. 

In the quiet Slytherin dorm room, the moonlight casts a gentle glow upon Eris' pale skin. He leans against the headboard of the bed, his long legs crossed at the ankles. His roommates, Tamlin and Dagdan, are fast asleep, their snores drifting to him, but otherwise the room is calm — one could hear a needle drop.

Eris is wide awake though— too many thoughts are coursing through his mind. 

And somehow, he can't help but think back to his encounter with Azriel in the Great Hall. He remembers the witty come-back the Ravenclaw had, his confident responses, and the way his eyes shone with some unplaceable emotion.

Alone with his thoughts, Eris lets himself dream. He traces his fingers along his bedsheet, mulling over his feelings. And then…he smiles as he replays the memory, hearing Azriel's voice in his mind, seeing his eyes. His heart suddenly beats faster at the sheer thought of the Ravenclaw. Idiocy…

But in the quiet of the Slytherin dorm room, Eris allows himself to hope for something more, something completely impossible.

With a sigh, Eris settles into his bed, pulling the sheets up to his chin, thoughts of Azriel warming his heart. The memory of their encounter becomes a secret source of joy, even though it was all but joyful. But it was…something and a good distraction from all the chaos and pain in his life. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

"Same old bullshit," Dagdan comments as Professor Devlon strolls to the front of the Potions classroom. The first week at Hogwarts was rather uneventful, but now that the second week has started, things are starting to become more interesting. 

"Today, we are brewing a potion of which the name should for now be a secret to you. And I will chose the partner you are working with."

Groans and annoyed grumbles fill the Potions classroom, the pupils letting their displeasure about it be known out loud.

The professor turns around, his brow raised, black robes like a veil of darkness around him. "Anyone wants to say something?" he asks, in his deep rumble, speaking very slowly. 

Everyone is calm. 

"I thought so. Now, let me put you into pairs." And so he starts. 

Some are happy with their partners, some are not. Emerie from Gryffindor, who is in a team with Tamlin nearly throws a cauldron through the whole classroom when she finds out about her partner.

But it is another cauldron that should bring Eris and Azriel together. "Moretti, Vanserra."

Eris' eyes nearly fall out of their sockets and the groan Azriel releases speaks volumes. 

Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Cassian, and best friend of Azriel, quickly reaches his hand over to give his friend a supportive pat on his back. "You can do this, Azzy. It is just one potion."

Azriel fights the urge to roll his eyes and walks over to where Professor Devlon is waiting next to a cauldron, Eris already standing next to him — obviously Devlon would chose Eris' cauldron, him being head of Slytherin House obviously makes him favour the Slytherins. 

"Don't mess this up, I need a good grade." "Funny, I was going to say the same thing," Azriel grumbles and turns to Eris, a disdainful expression on his face. Azriel pushes his glasses up his nose as he draws in a steadying breath, steeling himself for what lies ahead — having to work together with Eris. Being in close proximity to Eris. 

With the cauldron in front of them bubbling softly, the two boys set out to work, their movements cautious. Eris reaches for a vial of crushed rose thorns, his fingers accidentally brushing against Azriel's as they both reach for the same jar. Their hands linger for the blink of an eye, and they exchange a fleeting glance that holds a hint of intrigue. But quickly they look away, and pull their hands back.

"Watch it, Moretti and take a step back," Eris growls. "I'd hate to see your glasses fog up from the heat of the cauldron."

Azriel rolls his eyes, his lips curving into a wry smile. "I'm more worried about you accidentally dipping your fingers into the liquid." Not a good come-back, but the only one Azriel could come up with. His mind is racing, heart beating to fast — he still feels Eris' fingers against his. 

Somehow, they slowly find their rhythm, falling into a pattern of actions and they work perfectly together, without any conversation passing between them. 

Eris pours a good amount of peppermint and Pearl Dust into the Caulrdon, while Azriel grinds moonstone powder. "Easy there, Moretti," Eris quips, "we don't want you to grind it down to nothing."

Azriel only shakes his head and then adds the powder to the potion and it starts to bubble a little more. "Looks good."

Eris smirks. "Talking about me?"

"No, about myself." Azriel quickly turns his head, not able to avoid the small smile that appears on his lips. 

Their banter continues, and soon turns from not so nice remarks to subtle flirtation — somehow unbeknownst to them both. As they lean over the cauldron, their shoulders brush against each other, a sensation that sends a shiver down both their spines. Their eyes meet once again, a spark passing between. 

The potion continues to simmer, and they are constantly checking if everything goes well. 

Azriel and Eris are the top students of the class, and barely ever fail any potion. But this time, it is a little more difficult. With the constant distractions…

Both look into the cauldron and then lift their gazes. Their eyes lock. In that moment, the classroom fades away, and it seems like it is just the two of them. Their fingers brush once more, the touch fleeting, as they both sharply pull their hands back from the cauldron. 

Eris's heart races, his breath catching as he meets Azriel's gaze again. Time seems to stand still.

And then, as quickly as it began the moment between them is gone. Eris reaches up to brush a few strands of hair out of his face. They have curled around his forehead from the steam rising from the cauldron. 

But it is the wrong arm and his sleeve shifts, revealing a glimpse of ink on his forearm. 

Azriel's eyes widen as he catches sight of the tattoo – his mark.

"Eris," Azriel starts, his voice cautious, "what is…?"

But Eris pulls his arm behind his back, panic flashing across his features. Cold sweat breaks out all over his skin, panic gripping his heart with icy claws. "Don't. Don't ask. Just… promise me you won't say anything."

Azriel doesn't react and so Eris grows angry. He glowers, teeth clenched. "You can't say anything. I warn you. Think of your pathetic Muggle mother," he seethes. 

Shock flashes in Azriel's eyes, just like pain and disappointment. Azriel takes a step back, his lips parting but no words leaving his mouth. 

Eris takes a cautious step forward. He wants to take back the words, wants to tell Azriel that he would never hurt his mother, but his fear, the panic running so deep in his veins, has been stronger and made him say something he did not at all mean. The Slytherin wants to apologise, explain himself, but he gets no chance to do so. 

"Tell us what yours smell like!" Devlon orders, suddenly appearing in front of them. 

Being so caught up in their own conversation, the two boys haven't noticed that everyone else has stopped brewing and it is time to do a presentation in class now. 

"Go on then!" Professor Devlon commands, no hint of kindness nor any room for protest in his voice. 

Azriel harshly shoves Eris by his shoulder as he steps forward, closer to the Cauldron. 

"Step back, I can only smell you, Vanserra."

"Says the one who bathed in cologne this morning — its the only damn thing I can smell," Eris growls, although his heart aches. Why the bloody hell does his life have to be so terribly difficult?

In this moment, as they present their potion, even Amren is quiet at the scenery that unfolds itself  in front of the pupils. She is watching the two males through squinted eyes, a sly smile on her lips. Are they truly revealing their most hidden secrets in this moment, their crush for the other? Obviously unbeknownst to them… 

"That, is indeed highly interesting," professor Devlon says, his eye brows raised. "Is that all you can scent, Mr Vanserra?"

"It is, I can barely make out the other scents over his cologne. But I think there also is…spearmint, and hint of old parchment, and night air."

Professor Devlon taps the side of his face, as if in deep thought and then waves his hand. 

"Good, good. As it should be. Class is over for today."

"Won't you tell us what potion it was, Professor?" Azriel asks, but Devlon does not hear him or decides to ignore him.  

"Amortentia, Azriel." It is Gwyn who answers him. She is in his year and in his house. Her teal eyes meet his when she says in a soft voice, "It lets us scent the things we like the most, the things we desire, those things that attract us." 

There is small curve to her lips and then she walks past Azriel, following after Emerie and Nesta, leaving an absolutely stunned Azriel behind. 

Holy Helga! The things we desire. 

Eris hasn't heard the conversation, his mind is racing, thoughts too loud and he knows he has to talk to Azriel. He walks up to him when the Ravenclaw is about to follow Cassian and Rhysand. But Eris is faster. Hidden behind the robes, he grabs Azriel's arm, pulling him to him. 

There is warning in his voice, but also fear when he leans in closely. "Astronomy tower. 10pm. Come alone."

He does not wait for an answer, he only holds on to the sliver of hope that Azriel will come.

The moment Eris steps outside the classroom, a painful, dreadful time is about to start. He has to wait until it is 10pm to find out if Azriel will give him away, and if he even shows up. 

He barely communicates during his time at dinner, and also not later when they sit together in the common room. He excuses himself early, leaving for his dorm room. Both Tamlin and Dagdan give him questioning looks, sneering at him for being a baby who needs a lot of sleep. Amren simply does not care about him going to bed so early, she just shrugs her shoulders and Nesta, when he passes her before the staircase, has something like empathy glimmering in her eyes. 

But it is only fleeting, and Eris not at all in the mood to talk to her. His mind is racing, heart beating faster than a stallion galloping in the wilderness. 

He feels so empty, so sad, so torn, and broken. When he is finally alone all the emotions reach the surface, and he silently sobs into a pillow. 

Later, he washes himself, not immediately putting back on his pyjama shirt so he can look at the tattoo, his mark for a moment. Everything inside him convulses, until there is nothing but a painful ache in his heart. 

Everything hurts just at the sheer thought of what had been done to him. It wasn't his choice, he never made this choice. His father did and his mother had to stand by and watch. 

He does not look at it directly, the steam from bathing earlier making the tattoo barely visible through the mirror. But it is there. And if he can't see it, he will always feel it. It is burned into his skin…and that until forever. 

Eris' fingers curl around the frame of the sink, his teeth clenched, until he pushes off and finally dons his night shirt. He brushes his damp hair back, securing them at the nape of his neck with a hair tie. 

He hopes he can somehow make Azriel see that he did not want this. He hopes Azriel will somehow understand he was forced to wear his mark. Azriel is a smart boy, and also kind, Eris thinks, he will understand it. Or at least, maybe not tell anyone.

But what if Rhysand or Cassian, Azriel's best friends, already know about it? Would he really keep a secret from them?

Although, Eris doubts it, he holds on to the glimmer of hope — Azriel would first let him explain…

The handle on the clock ticks almost painfully slowly, reminding Eris exactly how miserable his situation right now is. And it is very miserable. 

When Dagdan and Tamlin return to the dorm room, Eris is still awake but pretends to be fast asleep. They also wash and finally climb into their beds, falling asleep soon. But Eris is wide awake, awaiting the time to finally go up to the astronomy tower. 

And so the time passes, so terribly slowly, but at some point 9:45 arrives and Eris sets out for the astronomy tower — calm and smooth as a cat. He can't be caught. Under no circumstance can anyone catch him. 

Eris, his wand tightly grasped in one hand, wanders through the corridors, always watching out for any imminent danger. He doesn't know what wanders the corridors of Hogwarts at night, you can never be careful enough. 

The air is cool and crisp, goosebumps appearing on his skin. But they don't appear because of the cold, but because of how nervous and anxious he is. This talk will decide about everything. 

If the talk even happens. What if Azriel does not show up? What if he already told everyone?

Doubts start to gnaw on Eris…Maybe it had been a bad idea to ask him for a talk in the first place?

Eris' bare feet — so caught up in thoughts, he forgot to put on slippers— move over the floor as calm as possible. 

He releases a low and relieved breath when he finally arrives at the staircase leading up to the astronomy tower. With careful and coordinated steps he climbs upstairs and—

His breath catches in his throat, heart hammering against his rib cage. 

Azriel turns around, adjusting his glasses, and gives Eris a once over. Just like the Slytherin, Azriel is dressed in his pyjamas…and barefoot. 

"You are late," the Ravenclaw says matter-of-factly. His face is expressionless, on the edge of cold.

"I didn't think you would come," Eris breathes, finally taking the last step. 

"But I am here. So what do you want to tell me?" Azriel takes a step back, leaning against the railing that surrounds the astronomy tower. "How you got the mark? If you are proud of it?" Azriel raises a brow, waiting.

Eris swallows around the lump in his throat, it is probably the size of a peach. He wipes his clammy hands down his thighs, his jaw aching from how hard he clenches it. Then he shakes his head. "Did you tell anyone?"

Azriel looks pained, almost like he had been struggling with this question for the past hours. And he has. It has plagued him ever since he spotted the mark on his classmate's arm. 

The Ravenclaw gives his head a little shake and Eris releases another breath of relief, before Azriel says. "Not yet…"

"You can't tell anyone, Azriel." Eris is in his face in an instant, hands brace next to Azriel's body on the railing. "Hogwarts is all I have. The only place where I am safe, where…I…" His voice breaks, not able to finish his sentence.

"Are you not safe with your Death Eater mummy and daddy?" Azriel retorts, glowering fiercely.

"My mother is no Death Eater!" Eris quickly defends, glowering as well. 

He can see his breath —or is it Azriel's?— between their faces and it distracts him momentarily. Their closeness does. 

Azriel raises a surprised brow. "She is not?"

"She would never." Eris swallows thickly. "And neither would I. It wasn't my choice. I did not agree to this, I was forced to do it." "Everyone has a choice!" Azriel growls, shoving his face forward, his forehead now pressed against Eris'. "Everyone has a choice, Eris."

Eris grows angry, because he didn't. It is simply wrong. Sometimes you don't have a choice. He clearly didn't. 

"I did not. With a father like Beron, you don't have a choice."

Eris' eyes close, when tears start to burn in them and already dampen his lashes. He inhales a deep, shaky breath and makes a move to step away from Azriel. But the Ravenclaw is faster, his hand…with scars on it, curls around Eris' wrist. "You were forced to do it?"

Eris nods slowly, and the first tear slides out of the corner of his eye. 

"Do you believe in what they praise? Blood purity, I mean." "I did…I did for a long time." "Not anymore?" Azriel's tone is careful, but much softer. Eris shakes his head. 

"What has changed?" the Ravenclaw knows this is his only chance to properly talk to Eris, to see if he really means it, or if he just pretends to be something better so Azriel won't give him away. 

"Many things," Eris breathes, Azriel's hand still on his wrist. And it really shouldn't feel that right.

"Enlighten me." Azriel won't let him go that easily. 

"My little brother…Lucien. I think you might know him?"

Azriel nods, his expression once again unreadable. 

"He as a Pureblood is dating a Mud—a Muggleborn now. Elain Archeron. And this somehow already changed a lot about how I see things. And I realised that blood purity is simply wrong, our beliefs are. And then—"

Eris cuts himself off, swallowing thickly once again. Will he lay all the cards on the table now? Reveal everything? Maybe this is his only chance…

"And you."

"I changed?" Azriel seems irritated, his brows raised.

Eris throws his head back with a loud groan. "How thick are you? You fucking changed something about me, okay? I have an enormous crush on you. And I don't give a damn about you being a Half-Blood or your mother being a Muggle. I couldn't care less and that was when I realised that I am not like them. That I am different. That I want to be different!"

Tears freely roll down the Slytherin's face. His declaration somehow hangs in the air between them, heavy and tangy, but Azriel, gathering all his courage, does what he has been dreaming of since quite a while. 

He slams his lips onto the Slytherin's, his arms curling around Eris' shoulders so he can bring him in as close as possible. Eris pushes the Ravenclaw against the railing, his tongue brushing Azriel's lip. He can't kiss him hard enough, fast enough. 

The Ravenclaw's glasses are wedged between their faces, low groans and growls, erupting in both their throats, hands touching every possible place just to feel more of the other. 

Once their lips are swollen, breaths ragged, their lips part, but their bodies stay close, holding onto each other. "Azriel," Eris breathes, needing a moment to ground himself. 

"My Amortentia…the potion we brewed today. It smelled like you." There is a small, sheepish smile on the Ravenclaw's face. Azriel adjusts both his glasses and his hair and finally meets Eris' gaze. 

"Amortentia…" Eris' voice is tinged with wonder. "Mine smelled like you." He smiles then, relief and something like hope in his eyes. 

"I don't want to drag you into this with me, Azriel."

Eris brings up a hand, brushing his thumb over Azriel's cheek. "It is my battle and it won't get easier, I don't want you to be in danger because of me. I bear his mark, and I am part of the Death Eaters, I can't bring you into this with me."

But Azriel vehemently shakes his head. "Too late. I am already in this with you. From now on, we are doing this together. I will help you get out of it. Or I will protect, but you don't have to deal with all of this alone."

"Azriel—" "Don't Azriel me! I will help you with this, and you can't stop me."

"Good Godrick, I don't deserve you." Eris shakes his head with a small, sad chuckle and leans in to press a kiss against Azriel's lips. 

"You don't deserve what was done to you, Eris." Sadness passes over Azriel's face. "But we will find a solution. Together."

Eris intertwines their fingers. "Together."

~~~~~~~ erisweek tag list: @brekkershadowsinger @honeysuckle-daydreams13 @liftyourhipsformelovex @elsie-bells @the-sweet-psycho azris tag list: @azrielsbabyg @lady-riel @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt@brekkershadowsinger  @ladyelain @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop @ofduskanddreams

#erisweek2023 #eris #eris vanserra #eris acotar #eris x azriel #azris #acotar au #hogwarts au #slytherin #ravenclaw #acotar #acosf

[minty-mumbles]

And the Universe Said I Love You (Ch. 1)

Summary: Late one summer night, a half fairy being hunted for their magical blood stumbled into the temple of the gods and claimed sanctuary. Years later, Hyrule is still living in the temple, working to keep it tidy and operating smoothly. And for some reason, the gods have taken a keen interest in them.

AN: I put a list of all the gods and their domains at the end. This was inspired by this prompt

(Read on AO3 )

~~~

“Hail, great mother of the gods, great mistress of the skies. In all ways, I honor your name. I come bearing offerings, in hopes that you will hear my plea...” 

Hyrule hummed a pleasant tune as they listened to the prayers of the young boy, who looked to be only eleven or twelve. The boy was across the room from Hyrule, kneeling in front of a statue of the god he was praying to. He was praying to Sky, the god who ruled over divinity, the sky, sleep, and- most importantly in this case- children, among other things.

From what Hyrule could overhear from where they swept the floor in the back of the room, the boy was praying to Sky for the health of his sick younger brother.

It was very sweet, and it was always nice to see younger children come to worship the gods. Usually, it was only the older folks who came to the temple on days that weren’t specifically designated for worship. Hyrule hoped the Sky would grant the boy a blessing, and aid in his brother’s recovery. 

“Hear my prayer, oh mother god, and answer. Amen.” The boy dipped his fingers into the bowl of water that sat at the feet of Sky’s statue, and brought his wet fingers to his forehead, one shoulder, the other shoulder, and then back to his forehead. His movements were clumsy and unpracticed, but they served their purpose to form a triangle to symbolize the mark of the triforce. The gesture was a sign of respect toward the gods, and also signaled that his prayers were finished.

The boy rose to his feet, taking one last look at the serene face of the god. The artist who’d carved the statue had depicted Sky kneeling, hands clasped piously in his lap. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile on his face as if he were two seconds away from nodding off.

As the boy turned and walked out, Hyrule finished up their sweeping, following him out of the mother god’s shrine room. 

Hylians called Sky the mother god, and they weren’t entirely wrong. Sky had been the first god and had existed long before all the others. Eventually, he’d grown lonely. He’d been tired of the endless sky and storms surrounding him and had started to wish for companionship.

So Sky had created Four, the god of earth and the forges. Four had been the God who had tended the fires at the beginning. He was the one who had forged the world that Hylians lived in today. 

And after that, when Sky had gotten bored of time standing still and become tired of nothing growing or changing, he’d created Time, the god of time and the seasons. Time had started the clock ticking, and it had been his hands that induced the turning of the seasons, fall into winter, winter into spring. 

And so it went, for most of the gods. When Sky saw a need, he made a new god. Twice, Sky had instead blessed a mortal with divinity, gifting them with godhood. This was how the god of the ocean, Wind, and the god of hearth and hunting, Wild, had risen to power

No one knew why Sky had chosen to bless mortals to create the gods of the wild and the ocean. Usually, Sky crafted the gods from nothing.

Sky didn’t create life like a Hylian would create life. Hyrule didn’t know exactly how it worked, but they imagined that the knowledge was far beyond their comprehension. 

Regardless Hyrule thought it was a stretch to call Sky a mother, but the god didn’t seem to mind it. In fact, most of the gods seemed to find the concept of Sky being their mother rather funny. (Hyrule wouldn’t want to be too presumptuous and ask, however. Just because the gods liked him for some unknown reason didn’t mean that he could ask them about things that likely weren't for mortal ears.)

Sky didn’t seem to mind being referred to with feminine terms, either. Gender was a Hylian concept that gods played with occasionally, but never took very seriously. Even the few statues in the temple that portrayed Sky as a woman didn’t seem to bother the god, even though he usually chose a male form when appearing to Hylians. 

Of course, most of the general public didn’t know all this information. 

Hyrule was just a bit of a special case. 

Hyrule and the boy left Sky’s shrine room, pushing aside the fine white silk draped over the doorway to do so. The boy turned left, towards the temple’s exit. Hyrule turned right, toward Warriors’ shrine room. As they walked, they passed an old man and a young mother with an infant strapped to her chest. Standing near the doorway. The old man, seeing that the boy was done with his prayer, entered the room to do his own business there. 

The young mother remained hovering nervously by the doorway, not daring to enter while the old man was inside. It was rude to enter a shrine room when someone else was praying. Whatever business they had with the gods was their own. 

Again, Hyrule was a special exception to this. As the temple’s keeper, they had to enter the rooms to clean and take care of offerings, so they were exempt from such etiquette. 

As they passed the mother and child, Hyrule could see that the mother was very nervous, and seemed to be holding a package wrapped with brown paper and tied with string. A red feather was tucked under the string. 

Ah. 

She was a new mother, then, coming with an offering to ask for blessings for her baby and future family. 

As much as Hyrule wanted to stop and say hello, try to ease the mother’s nerves, and greet the baby, they had work to do. So instead they simply nodded as they passed her, and continued on. 

Warriors’ shrine didn’t have anyone waiting outside of it. Secretly, Hyrule hoped that meant it would be empty. Not because they didn’t want Warriors to have worshippers! 

It was just… There had been issues recently with some of Warriors’ worshippers.

Instead of silk covering the doorway making the room more open and inviting like Sky’s was, there was a heavy stone door. It had always reminded Hyrule of the gates to the castle in the middle of the city. The door took some effort to open, but Hyrule managed eventually. They slowly entered the dark room, shutting the door behind them.

Instead of the large skylight, silks draped across the walls, and the delicate offerings like feathers and wood carvings that decorated Sky’s shrine, Warrior’s shrine room was dark and almost gloomy. The air inside was still and felt warmer than it should have. The only source of light was the large stained glass window directly behind Wariror’s statues, and a few flickering torches and candles. 

The air smelled like smoke from the torches, but underneath that, there was a metallic tang to the air. Some might argue the scent was from the weapons that hung on the walls, but if anyone asked Hyrule- though no one ever did- they would say that it smelled like blood.

It wasn’t the kind of place Hyrule would usually find comfort in. It was too reminiscent of the dark summer nights they’d spent being hunted for their fae blood. The darkness and the scent of blood reminded them too viscerally of the night they’d ran into this temple for the first time. 

It had been a last-ditch attempt to find safety. They had asked for sanctuary from the gods, and Hyrule had fully expected the temple doors to remain barred against them. They’d expected to be slain on the temple steps as the uncaring gods looked on.

 Hyrule thanked the gods every day that that didn’t happen. Thanked them for letting the doors open and allowing him inside where the hunter wouldn’t dare follow. The gods had granted Hyrule clemency and even allowed them to stay in the temple permanently.

So even though the dark room brought back unpleasant memories, it had never felt oppressive to Hyrule. In fact, it was quite the opposite. There was a protective feeling in the air that made Hyrule relax, knowing no one would hurt them here.

Hyrule was sure that if they sat down in this room, it wouldn't be long before they started nodding off. They wondered if that was the doing of Warriors xemself, trying to make them feel welcome.

Recently though, Hyrule had started to dread coming in to clean Warriors’ shrine during the day. Worshipers were only allowed into the temple to pray during the day, and that was usually when Hyrule cleaned. Recently they had started to think they should clean Warriors’ shrine after hours. 

Warriors usually didn’t get as many visitors as the other gods, as was expected for a god of war and battle. But recently, there had been one worshiper who was coming in much more frequently than Hyrule liked. 

Specifically because she didn’t bring any offerings…. Besides herself.

Hyrule exhaled heavily when they saw that said worshiper was indeed in the shrine room. She was kneeling at the base of Warriors’ statue, wearing a dress that left very little to the imagination. She didn’t even look away from the god’s statue when Hyrule entered the room. Hyrule turned away, beginning to sweep the floor with their back to her. She, meanwhile, completely ignored them.

Cia… irritated Hyrule. They couldn’t exactly say why besides the fact that she conducted herself with no shame in the temple. 

She was a beautiful woman, perhaps even the most beautiful in the city. At least that’s what people said. Hyrule wouldn’t know. They’d never held any love for physical beauty, anyways. 

But Cia knew how beautiful she was. Maybe that was why she was willing to keep offering herself to the god even after it became clear xe was rejecting her.

Perhaps that was what irritated Hyrule. She just kept trying. Over and over, even though she must know it wouldn’t work. Either Cia didn’t understand her offering wasn’t pleasing to Warriors, or she simply didn’t care. 

Hyrule didn’t know what Cia wanted so badly, but whatever it was, it was ultimately a fool's errand. No matter what she did, she wasn’t going to tempt Warriors into taking her as xyr wife.

The commonly held belief that the gods would take a mortal bride if the person were beautiful enough was only rooted in the stories of liars. 

The myth of how Malanya had risen to godhood probably also played a role. But the truth was that she had never been a mortal. 

Malon was beautiful, yes, but she had not been a mortal, even before she had become Time’s wife and the goddess of horses. She had been a wood nymph, already an immortal being. That part of the story was lost to time though, so most mortals thought Malon had been mortal and had managed to catch the eye of the god of time. 

Hyrule knew this was false. They also knew that gods usually didn’t often interact directly with mortals. Much less take them as brides. 

Hyrule pulled a face when they heard a rather breathy sigh from Cia as she finished her first prayer. In any other situation, Hyrule might have been flustered, but now they were just embarrassed for her. Perhaps they should say something. It would save them the ordeal of having to deal with her, and save her the ordeal of coming to the temple so often on a fruitless endeavor.

When Cia paused in between prayers, gathering herself up to start another one, that was when Hyrule spoke. “You should stop trying to gain the god’s favor like that. Stop trying to give yourself as an offering, I mean.”

The sweet smile that had been on Cia’s face the entire time she had been praying turned into an irritated scowl in the blink of an eye. She shot to her feet, turning away from Warriors’ statue to face Hyrule, who only calmly continued with their sweeping. 

She sneered “Why? It’s worked for others before-” 

It hadn’t, but Cia continued, not giving Hyrule a chance to correct her. Not that they would have, anyway. “Why do you care so much? You aren’t supposed to interfere with the prayers of people who come to the shrines!” 

Again, she was incorrect but had no way of knowing that. 

The gods had never taken a mortal to tend to any of their temples before. Usually, they employed the help of wood nymphs and forest spirits. Those types of immortals didn’t like to be seen by mortals. They cleaned the temples and dealt with offerings during the night when no one was around to see them. However, being adverse to being seen by mortals meant that they had no recourse to correct inappropriate behaviors from the worshipers. 

Hyrule had no such restrictions.

How Hyrule had gained so much favor from the gods that they had offered them protection and a job at the temple was beyond them. But they’d managed it somehow. So now Hyrule kept the temple clean and took care of the offerings the gods didn’t accept. They gave shelter, healing, and protection to those who sought sanctuary at the temple. Along with all of that, though, they were also here to make sure that the actions of the temple-goers were proper. 

Prostrating herself in front of the shrines was not proper. Hyrule felt quite certain that Warriors would only feel relief if xe didn’t have to watch Cia do it anymore. Hyrule certainly would. Cia was no doubt a beautiful woman, but it got embarrassing after a point.

Cia huffed when she got no response from Hyrule- who wasn’t even looking at her- and stalked closer. She stepped close enough that Hyrule had to stop sweeping to avoid smacking her ankles with the broom. 

“Or you just don't want the gods’ attention on anyone but you? I bet that's the reason they keep you here. Not good enough to take as a wife, but pretty enough to keep around all the same.”

Hyrule ignored the hurtful words and the implications that came with them. They were more than used to such things being insinuated about them by now. 

Most people who heard of the gods taking on a mortal to tend to their temple were confused by it. 

Hyrule themself was confused about why it had happened, so they didn’t blame other people for their assumptions. Though it did confuse Hyrule that people thought the gods had chosen them because they thought Hyrule was pretty. Hyrule knew they weren’t considered that attractive, so they didn’t know how that line of thinking held up. 

Speaking of…

Hyrule wasn’t phased by Cia’s insult, but they did blink in confusion at Cia’s backhanded compliment. No one had ever called them attractive before, let alone pretty. Usually, people called them unique-looking and left it at that. Their fairy blood influenced their appearance a bit too strongly for most people's tastes. They’d been told that their innumerous golden freckles were particularly unnatural and off-putting.

Regardless of her odd compliment, Hyrule was getting sick of Cia. “No. I’m not trying to keep the gods all to myself. I’m trying to warn you before Warriors’ patience wears out and xe curses you.” 

An exaggeration- Hyrule doubted Warriors would curse her- but Cia didn’t need to know that.

Cia puffed up at that, her face flushing. Hyrule was honestly kind of impressed. Even angry and looking like she was two seconds away from hitting them, she still managed to look composed and well put together. “How dare you call a god by their true name! They choose you to sweep the dirt out of their temple, so you think you're special?” She hissed venomously. “You need to learn to respect those who are better than you.” 

For some funny reason, Hyrule didn’t think that Cia was talking about the gods anymore. Especially not when she raised her hand in the air, open-palmed and ready to strike them. 

Her fingers glittered prettily as she swung her hand down. Hyrule let themself get distracted for a split second by the twinkling of the rings that adorned her fingers. They couldn't help themself. Fairies loved sparkly things.

Their distraction lasted only a moment, though. As her hand swung down to strike them, Hyrule’s hand shot up to meet it, grasping her wrist firmly but not harshly. 

Hyrule only sighed, exhausted already. Part of this was their fault. They really needed to start referring to the gods by their proper titles while in public. Most of this situation was entirely Cia’s fault, though. 

“Cia, I think you should leave.”

“What? No!” She protested, yanking her hand back away from their grasp. They let her. “How dare you! You can’t kick me out, I have every right to be here.”

“You tried to attack me.” Their protest falls on deaf ears. They see her hand raise once more, and they prepare themself to catch it a second time.

Gods, couldn’t they catch a break?

Perhaps invoking the gods- even in just their head- while also being in one of their shrine rooms was a bit of a mistake. Before Cia could even start to bring her hand down again, her wrist was caught, but this time it wasn’t Hyrule who grabbed her. 

Both of them were startled, and Cia spun around to face the newcomer who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

The stranger was difficult to look at. Neither one of them had noticed that Warriors’ statue had started glowing over the course of their argument, but it was indeed glowing. Golden light played along the statue’s features, lighting up the room much better than the stained glass window did. It had become so bright that it was difficult to make out the features of the person who was haloed by the light. 

But Hyrule already knew who it was.

It took Cia a few moments, but as her eyes darted from the person’s face- a perfect mimic of the war god’s statue- to the statue itself, and then back again, and Hyrule was sure she had figured it out.

Hyrule was more than accustomed to seeing such a glow, but Cia remained silent and trembling. Hyrule could tell she was terrified. Not that they really blamed her. Warriors could be terrifying when xe wanted to.

When xe spoke, xyr voice rolled through the room like the distant sounds of an approaching thunderstorm. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. It wouldn’t end well for you if you try to assault one so favored by the gods.” Distantly, Hyrule could feel the deadly pressure building in the room, but it wasn’t meant for them. They knew that Cia could feel it much more directly. 

Cia wavered for a moment, before yanking her hand out of Warriors' grip. Xe let her go easily. She ran from the room, looking very frazzled and more than a little afraid.

The figure in front of Hyrule paused for a moment to insure she was really gone, then the light slowly faded away. Soon the figure- looking less godly but still exactly like xyr statue- stood in front of them without an unnatural backlight.

“Hello, Warriors.” Hyrule greeted politely, hoping that the god wouldn’t make a big deal out of the incident. Thankfully, Warriors didn’t seem to think that one mortal was that big of a deal, even if she had tried to hit Hyrule.

Xe smiled, greeting Hyrule, then turned to look at their altar. Cia hadn’t brought anything with her, as per usual, but there were a few offerings from earlier in the day. A small knife with a wooden handle, a gleaming golden apple, and an unfortunate scrap of fabric that looked like it was stained with blood. 

An offering like the fabric usually meant that the worshiper had a loved one who was off at war or had died in battle. Someone had been here, praying either for their loved one’s safe return, or for their safe passage to the god of the ocean. Wind was the one who guided souls into the afterlife.

Hyrule couldn’t make heads or tails of the other offerings, but Warriors would know what the worshippers had asked for. 

Warriors frowned as xe leaned over the table, fingers fluttering over the offerings. The knife and the scrap of fabric disappeared, while the golden apple remained untouched. That offering had been rejected, and the worshiper’s prayer would not be answered. Hyrule would have to clear the shrine of the rejected offering, but they could do that later. It would be a little rude to take the offering from Warriors’ shrine when xe was standing right there.

When Warriors turned back to them, Hyrule asked, “Are you sure you should be here?”

Warriors waved away their concern. “Relax, It’s getting late and it’s almost time for the temple to close. No one will see us. And if anyone does,” Here, xe paused and grinned, xyr features twisting and warping slightly as xe did so. Xyr formal clothes also melted away, turning into a more normal-looking outfit, although xe did keep the scarf.

Xe was still recognizably Warriors, especially to Hyrule who spent a lot of time around xem and knew xyr appearance. But anyone else who saw the god wouldn’t be able to match xyr features to the statue that loomed behind xem. 

It was always disconcerting to Hyrule when they were reminded that their friends didn’t truly look the way Hyrule thought they did, but they brushed it off. Hyrule would never be able to witness the gods’ true forms. Hyrule was mortal. Witnessing the gods’ divinity in its pure form would burn their eyes out, and they would rather avoid that fate.

“See? No one will recognize me.” Xe continued, satisfied. “It’s the same as we usually do, yes?” 

“Hmmm, yes,” Hyrule agreed. “Sorry, I was just worried about Cia.” 

Warriors snorted in derision but sounded more amused than anything. “You shouldn’t worry about her. It’s not like she can do any true harm.” 

Hyrule rolled their eyes. “No true harm except to me,” they complained. “What if she says something? Her family is rich, you know. If she decides she wants retribution for her embarrassment, she can easily come after me.” 

Warriors waved off their concern. “I doubt she’ll be back anytime soon, and I doubt she’ll say anything. No one would dare touch you. You're under our protection. We wouldn’t let you tend to our temple if you weren’t.” 

This was true enough.

For all that people were baffled that the gods had chosen a mortal to tend to their temples, most people left Hyrule alone. People were fearful of the gods’ wrath if they messed with Hyrule. 

Hyrule was glad. They liked living in the peace and quiet of the temple, and they loved not being bothered. It was a stark contrast from the time when Hyrule would constantly be harassed and even hunted because of their obviously fairy features.

But just because Hyrule loved peace and quiet, that didn’t mean they didn’t have room for some chaos in their life, and the gods were more than adept at providing that.

~~~

Hyrule sighed deeply from where they were standing in the doorway of their small room, their hands on their hips. 

This room- which more than likely had originally been a storage closet- had been theirs for the past several years. It was small, yes, but it was home. A bed tucked into the corner, a chest to store their clothing sitting at the foot of it, and a small personal shrine was all the furniture in the room.

And currently there was one more addition to the room: a wolf laying in their bed like it belonged there.

“If this is why I keep getting dog hair in my sheets?” Hyrule tries to keep a stern expression on their face as they scold the wolf. Given the way the wolf lifted his head to look at them and then promptly started wagging his tail, Hyrule wasn’t successful.

“Twilight.” Hyrule stresses, which only causes the wolf to roll over on his back and show his tummy. He was doing an excellent imitation of a shit-eating grin as he stared at Hyrule, even though he was currently a wolf and wolves could not grin. 

A wolf, and laying in Hyrule’s bed. 

If Hyrule wasn’t so acutely familiar with the god, they would be terrified out of their wits. As it was, they were more than used to situations like this. The gods usually took up Hylian forms, but some of them liked to take the forms of animals sometimes. Twilight, as the god of animals, was one of those, and he was particularly fond of canine forms. 

Hyrule had gotten more than used to random dogs in the temple.

After another few seconds of silence from Hyrule, the wolf raised his head to look at them. It made no move to get off their bed. Hyrule contemplated him, but eventually decided trying to get Twilight off the bed was too much work. They were tired from the day, and wanted rest. 

They flopped down onto the bed and partially on top of the wolf. Twilight chuffed at them, but still made no move to leave. Hyrule took it as a sign Twilight wasn’t actually uncomfortable with Hyrule laying on top of him. They buried their face in his fur, and closed their eyes.

In no time at all, Hyrule was asleep, curled up next to the divine beast.

~~~

“Will you take me to the festival? Please?” Wind’s eyes were big and watery as he begged Hyrule to bring him with them. 

It was late autumn, which meant it was time for the harvest festival, when people gathered together to celebrate a successful summer and a bountiful harvest. The past few years- ever since Hyrule had come to stay at the temple actually- had seen particularly generous harvests. This year had only continued the trend.

Once the harvest was finished, the farmers and craftspeople from surrounding towns would gather in the city to sell their wares. They also came to give thanks to the gods at the temple. For some, it was the only time of the year they managed to make it into the city, and the only time they were able to pay respect to the gods. 

As the god of the seasons and by extension, the harvest, worship for Time skyrocketed during harvest festivals. Twilight, although he was mainly the god of the night, day, and the moon and sun, was also the god of animals which meant he was worshiped more during this time as well. 

So the temple was busy at this time of year. Time and Twilight got plenty of attention, but the other gods got their fair share as well. Because of the influx of worshipers, Hyrule always has more work than usual to do. That meant they hadn’t had much time to enjoy the festival itself in the last few years. It always felt like a waste to go galavanting off to have fun when they had a job to do.

This year though, the gods seemed to think that Hyrule was overworking themself. Legend had visited last night, needling Hyrule until they begrudgingly agreed to take a break from their duties. He had even slipped a small purse of rupees into Hyrule’s hands. They had tried to return the purse, but Legend had glared at them into submission.

Hyrule had to admit that there was little chance that anything would go wrong in their absence. The temple had always run smoothly without a mortal attendant before Hyrule had arrived, even during festivals. It would survive without them for a few hours. 

That was why Hyrule was preparing to go to the festival now. They had no doubt that Legend had sent Wind to insure Hyrule was actually taking a break and annoy them into doing so if it were necessary.

“Uh, are you sure going into the city is the best idea?” Hyrule asked the young god. Not that Hyrule was opposed to Wind’s company! The young god could be strange at times, like all the gods, but he was still fun to be around. It was just… Well, most of the gods weren’t the best at pretending to be mortals. 

Wind seemed to understand exactly what Hyrule was getting at, and he scoffed. “Oh, please! I used to be mortal before I was a god, you know. I’m a lot better at blending in than the others are. You don’t have to worry about me.”

When he saw that Hyrule was still reluctant but had started to soften their resolve, Wind grabbed their hand. He looked up at them with big watery eyes and went for the kill. “Please?” His voice was softer now as he pleaded. ”I kinda miss it. Festivals like this remind me of my mortal family. And the other gods don't want me wandering around without supervision,” An irritated look flickered over Wind’s face, “Which is dumb because I’m literally a god. I can handle myself!” 

And yep, Hyrule couldn’t say no to that face. It just wasn’t possible. (They also didn’t want to start the argument that, yes, Wind was a god and could take care of himself, but most of the time he looked like a thirteen year old. That put a target on his back, especially when he was wandering alone. It was better to let the older gods try and convince Wind of that. It wasn’t really Hyrule’s place.)

“Fine,” Hyrule allowed. They continued before Wind could celebrate too much. “If you do anything weird, I’m telling Time. No stealing either.” That caused Wind to deflate a little, but he still looked more than pleased with being allowed to tag along.

Hyrule turned away to get themself ready. They pulled on their cloak to hide their features and not draw attention to themself, and grabbed a basket to carry their purchases. Meanwhile, Wind sat nearby, swinging their legs back and forth absently. 

After ensuring that their money pouch was tied securely to their belt, they turned to Wind. “Okay,” Hyrule said. “I’m all set. Are you ready to go?”

“Yep!” Wind replied, hopping down from his chair. 

As he did so, he changed. 

His form shifted and warped until instead of a blonde teenage boy in front of them, it was a young girl- probably eight or nine- with curly chocolate brown hair that fell untamed down their back. Bright green eyes shone up at Hyrule from under their curly bangs. They even had a smattering of golden freckles across their nose. In short, they looked like a spitting image of Hyrule themself, when they had been younger. 

Wind skipped forward, grabbing Hyrule’s hand. He looked like a perfect example of innocence. “There! We look like sisters! Now no one will look twice at us.” Wind sounded proud of himself for the disguise. 

Hyrule felt their breath stutter involuntarily, feeling like they’d just been punched in the chest. All of Hyrule’s sisters in real life had been immortal, having taken after their fairy mother. Hyrule had been the only one who’d taken after their mortal father. 

Was this what it would have looked like if they had a little sister? If they had had some small piece of their family they could have clung to? All of Hyrule’s sisters had stayed with their mother when Hyrule had to set out from home. Hyrule’s eyes started to mist over as they looked into Wind’s big green eyes. Was this what it would have been like if they had a little sister they could’ve held onto during those long lonely nights? 

Wind looked regretful when he saw Hyrule was close to crying. “If you want, I can turn back!” He exclaims worriedly, tugging on where he was hanging on to Hyrule’s hand. 

“No,” Hyrule denied. “You’re fine. You don’t have to turn back.” Their voice sounded a little fragile. Wind didn't protest. He didn’t try to herd Hyrule towards the temple’s door either, letting Hyrule continue to hold him. Hyrule also didn’t try to get the two of them moving, despite the fact they were losing daylight. 

The two of them stayed where they were for a while, standing together. Wind continued to hold onto Hyrule’s hand and lean into their legs. Hyrule hesitantly put their free hand into Wind’s hair. When Wind didn’t protest, they ran their fingers through Wind’s curls gently.

Hyrule eventually sniffled, shifting away from Wind. “Alright. I guess we should head out if we want to get to the market before it gets too busy.”

No one glanced twice at the pair of them as they walked down the steps of the temple and into the market square, which set Hyrule’s heart at ease. They must really look like siblings. 

 Although it wasn’t even noon, the market was already decently busy, and Hyrule knew it would only get busier as the day wore on. Most of the square was taken up by stalls, some of which were already open to serve the early morning crowd. One small section was taken up by vendors selling hot food made to order, and one corner of the square was dominated by festival games. 

Wind didn’t seem to have any preference on where to go, although he made some not-so-subtle hints about visiting the confectioner’s stall at some point. Hyrule decided it would be best to visit the stalls first, before it got too crowded, and they could go find something to eat later in the morning.

It was nice to just blend into the crowd and browse what goods were on sale. No one looked twice at the two of them, and even if they had wanted to, the crowd ensured anyone who caught sight of the pair's golden freckles and took issue with it would quickly lose sight of the two of them. 

The pair passed by a leather worker’s stall with only a cursory glance. Hyrule didn’t need any leather goods today. And if they did need to buy something, they could buy it at a lower price at a later date. Merchants always upped the price of their goods at festival time. With demand being so high, Hyrule couldn’t blame them, but some things just weren’t worth it.

The next stall they passed smelled heavenly, and Hyrule didn’t use that word lightly. The temple was nearly always filled with the scent of incense and flowers, so Hyrule was more than used to smelling good. At this point, the scent of incense had seeped into their clothing and hung around Hyrule even when they left the temple. 

But the smell from this stall gave them pause anyway. It was a warm scent, like spiced cider on a cold winter evening. It was nothing like the incense that burned inside the temple. 

The stall was selling bottles of shampoo and conditioner, bars of soap, and even some bottles of perfume. Hyrule paused at the stall, eyeing the soap bars consideringly. The bar Hyrule was currently using was getting kind of small, so they did need to buy a new one sometime soon.

It was festival time, after all. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little on a new one. And whatever scent they were smelling was worth splurging a little on.

It didn’t take long for Hyrule to flag down the merchant and get their hands on one of the bars of soap. It took a bit of haggling to get the price down to a more reasonable level. The merchant wrapped the soap up in paper, thanking them for their purchase. Hyrule smiled at him, turned around to find Wind so they could move on, and their smile slid off their face

When they turned around, Wind was nowhere to be seen. Hyrule choked down their initial panic. Just because Wind was no longer clinging to them didn’t mean the god had somehow managed to get himself into trouble in the five minutes Hyrule was distracted. Not that Wind wasn’t capable of finding trouble in that amount of time, but hopefully he hadn’t.

Hyrule almost missed the small blue-clad figure as their eyes skimmed over the crowd. They did a double take when they spotted Wind- still in the form of a young child- making very rude gestures that a child as young as Wind appeared to be should not know. 

Hyrule choked, hurrying over to Wind. They caught his hands in theirs and yanked them down. “What are you doing? Are you trying to cause a scene?” Hyrule hissed quietly at Wind, who seemed completely unapologetic. Hyrule turned to try and see who Wind had been flipping off.

But when they turned around, they saw no one Wind could have been gesturing at. There was a throng of people surrounding them, but none of them were paying any attention to Wind.

Looking back at Wind, Hyrule saw he wasn’t even looking at any of the people in the crowd around them, but glaring upwards. Following his gaze, they saw a little red bird, probably a cardinal, perched on top of a nearby noticeboard. 

Hyrule blinked in confusion, looking back down at Wind. They almost opened their mouth to ask why Wind was flipping off a bird, but then their head whipped back around to stare at the creature. 

It was a red bird, it was staring at Wind and Hyrule in particular, and it was a bird that Wind seemed to be intimately familiar with. 

With those facts in mind, Hyrule squeezed Wind’s hand and tugged him away in the direction of the rest of the stalls. Their lips were pressed tightly together to keep themself from laughing. 

“You know,” Hyrule started casually after a moment of silent walking, “You probably shouldn’t be flipping off the god of divinity himself.” They didn’t worry about anyone overhearing them. The crowd was thick, and a stranger’s odd conversation wouldn’t draw any attention. Even if it did draw attention, they were moving through the crowd and would be gone before anyone tried to listen in.

Wind pouted, stomping his feet a little. He looked exactly like a grumpy little kid throwing a tantrum, and Hyrule had to suppress another laugh. “That’s not even Sky! It’s just his stupid messenger bird.”

Hyrule hummed understandingly, and pulled them to a stop so they could inspect a display containing a rainbow of different yarns and threads. Their spare tunic had gotten a hole in it, and Hyrule was out of thread. They should buy some more. “I thought you liked Crimson? I’ve met her and she seems nice.”

Wind grew quiet, almost sulking. “It’s not that I don’t like her- especially not when she’s in a smaller form like that. Her bigger forms kind of freak me out, it's not natural- But Legend asked me to come to the festival with you-”

I knew it, Hyrule thought, locating some shades of green thread that were pretty similar to his tunic color. The tunic that had a hole in it was the same shade as the one they were wearing now, so they used it to compare colors. 

Wind kept talking. “-And it feels like Sky won’t even trust me with this one thing! I can take care of you! I don’t need my own babysitter!” 

“Hey now,” Hyrule protested. “I don’t need a babysitter either. I’d be just fine on my own.” 

Wind huffed. “It’s not the same. You’re so fragile. I’m a literal-” 

Hyrule’s heart skipped a beat in dread, and they acted quickly. Before Wind could continue, Hyrule shoved the two spools of thread they’d been contemplating into Wind’s face and asked, “Which shade of green do you think matches my tunic the best?”

Wind shot him a nasty look for the interruption, but Hyrule only lifted an eyebrow at him, unimpressed. Wind rolled his eyes and pointed to the one on the left. 

”Careful what you say.” Hyrule whispered warningly. People might not listen in on the conversation of others here, but that wasn’t any reason for Wind to go around declaring to all and sundry that he was a god.

“Whatever.” Wind said, rolling his eyes. “You know what I mean. You’re not even two decades old yet. You’re young.” Wind stressed his last word, and Hyrule tried not to feel a little insulted. What Wind was saying was true, from his point of view. Hyrule wasn’t even twenty yet, although at nineteen, they were close. To a god such as Wind, who’d lived for millennia, they would be incredibly young.

Instead, Hyrule only said, “You’re young too, you know.” They waved over the merchant and paid for their thread, tucking it into their basket with the soap.

“I’m not even the youngest!” Wind protested hotly as they moved away from the stall. He was flushed in anger that, frankly, just looked adorable in his current form. If this was how Hyrule looked when they were angry when they were hung, they don’t know how their mother ever took them seriously. “Wild and Wars are both younger than me!”

Hyrule lets the conversation trail off after that, as Wind starts telling stories about how adorable Wild and Wars had been as new gods, back when they were unsure of themselves and unused to their powers. Wind was right- he’d been made into a god before Sky had needed to create Warriors, and long before Wild had even been born a mortal.

Hyrule didn’t know exactly why Wind was considered to be the youngest of the gods. The way gods aged was strange though, sometimes not even following a linear pattern. It was further complicated by the fact that they could appear to be whatever age they wanted to be.

Hyrule thinks they might have heard Warriors mention that Wind was the youngest because he had still been a child when he’d been turned into a god. He hadn’t had the chance to grow normally. Hyrule could understand that dying and becoming a god might stunt that sort of development. 

Wind had to grow up as a god, which took a lot longer. Sky had created the other gods in the form of teenagers, and Wild had at least been of age when he’d been given godhood.

So while Wind might have been alive longer than Warriors and Wild, he was still mentally the youngest, and treated as such by mortals and gods alike.

Hyrule was pulled out of their thoughts by tugging on their hand, which slowly led them away from the direction they’d been walking. Wind was steering the two of them slowly but surely over towards the confectioner’s stall. 

Hyrule snorted when they realized what he was doing, and dragged Wind back on course. In his current form, there was no way Wind could overpower Hyrule, so he resorted to pouting at them. Hyrule chuckle at that. 

“Come on. We have to at least get lunch first before we have dessert.”

The pair wandered the festival until they found a nice stall that was selling meat pies. Hyrule paid, despite Wind’s protests. “What are people going to think when they see me making my little sister pay for her own food?” Hyrule said. Wind opened his mouth to protest but shut it again, seemingly not having a response to that. 

If Hyrule’s money pouch somehow suddenly felt as heavy as it had before they paid for the food, they said nothing. They had told Wind not to steal, but they didn’t think reverse pickpocketing Hyrule themself counted. Hyrule would just have to pay Wind back somehow. Maybe a nice offering tonight in the temple after the crowds left. 

The two of them ate as they walked and people watched. This time, when Wind subtly tried to steer their direction to the sweets stall, Hyrule let him. 

The stall was already being browsed by a family with three young children when they reach it, and Wind and Hyrule join them in looking at the selection. Wind only had eyes for the honey candy, but Hyrule took a bit more time sorting through what was available. Being part fairy, they had more of a sweet tooth than most, and they couldn’t help but spend more of Legend’s rupees on candy than they’d intended.

They managed to buy a small package of sea salt taffy without Wind noticing. They hid it beneath the package of soap in their basket. Tonight, they could place it on Wind’s altar to repay the god for the food Wind had refused to let them pay for. Honey candies flavored with blueberry syrup joined the taffy, to be tucked away for a rainy day. To munch on now, Hyrule ends up buying a bag of chocolate-coated nuts.

The chocolate was sweet on their tongue as they and Wind wander through the rest of the fair. It's well past noon by now, and things were starting to get busy. People throng tightly around them. Hyrule would feel crowded, but every time they started to feel anxious, Wind squeezed their hand tightly, as if he could sense their turmoil.

He probably could. 

The reminder of the protection the god offered soothed Hyrule a great deal, and they managed to push away their anxieties. 

Eventually, the two end up wandering around the second of the market set aside for 

There’s a dunk tank set up nearby. Wind pays for three tries to hit the target. He doesn’t succeed, and that alone told Hyrule that he wasn’t really trying. But his gleeful giggles make Hyrule’s heart squeeze, and they smile at the god’s joy. It’s more than infectious.

They don’t see any games they're interested in paying themself. Most of these games Hyrule can guarantee are rigged, and the prizes usually aren’t of interest to them.

That was until something sparkled in the sun out of the corner of their eyes.

It was a small necklace. A small blue stone was set in the center of it, glittering attractively in the sunlight. Silver filigree filled with green-tinted glass created tiny wings surrounding the stone, mimicking fairies wings.

That. Hyrule wanted that. They know it was their fairy blood that made them want it so badly. (The irony of the necklace being in the shape of a fairy was not lost on them.) Everyone knew that fairies were attracted to shiny objects. Even half-fae like Hyrule were affected by that particular biological quirk.

 The necklace hung on a peg inside one of the many game booths, a prize for one of the shooting games where you were given a small bow and three arrows, and targets popped up that you had to attempt to hit.

Hyrule didn’t even wear jewelry, most of the time. But the necklace sparkled so prettily in the sunlight they couldn’t take their eyes off it. They tried to caution themself. The game was probably rigged, and they're not that great a marksman anyways. 

But Hyrule wanted that sparkly necklace, and by the gods, they were going to try to get it.

It took them three tries before they finally gave up. They eyed the necklace with longing, but their purse was starting to feel a little bit too light for their liking, and Wind was starting to look impatient. 

The man running the stall offered the bow back to Hyrule for them to try again, but they gave a polite smile and shook their head.

A sudden voice coming from behind them made them startle. Wind remained nonplussed. “Here, let me try.” The voice was familiar, and Hyrule was both surprised and not to turn around and see Four standing behind them. They are a bit surprised to see Time, though. The god wasn’t really the kind of person that liked festivals. 

But on the other hand, this festival was dedicated to Time. If there was a festival dedicated to Hyrule, they’d want to go out and see it, even if they didn’t like crowds. So maybe it shouldn't be a surprise to see the older god out and about.

He looked much less stressed than the last time Hyrule saw him. The harvest was over, and Time could return to his usual duties until next year. Hyrule was glad. Time always seemed like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders during harvest season. 

The game master was more than happy to take Four’s rupees. Only once the man disappeared behind the back of the booth to operate the targets did Four turn to Hyrule with a wink. 

As Hyrule expected, Four was able to hit a target on their first try. Wind rolled his eyes. “Show off,” he complained but didn’t look all that bothered. Time, who seemed unimpressed and uninterested in watching Four demonstrate their archery skills, clapped Hyrule on the back with a nod, and then wandered off in the direction of the Temple.

“That’s hardly showing off.” Four insisted. Suddenly, their eyes flickered, a deep blue color flooding their irises. Their hair color shifted ever-so-slightly to become more of a strawberry blonde than true golden as it’d been before, and Hyrule swore the god was an inch or two shorter than they were before. 

Hyrule twitched, but after spending a certain amount of time around the god of the four elemental spirits, you start to get used to sudden appearance changes. This time the change wasn’t even as dramatic as it usually was. Four had kept the change rather subtle compared to what they usually did when one of the elemental spirits decided to surface. 

Four’s eyes had gained a competitive glint. “This is showing off.” Their next arrow not only hit the same target they had struck before, but it split the previous arrow they’d landed on that target. The last arrow once again landed on the same target, splitting the second arrow. 

Four turned to Wind with a smirk. “How about that, then?” 

Wind rolled his eyes. “Anyone could do that.” Hyrule resisted telling him that not everyone could do that. Not everyone was an immortal god who had eons to hone their skills.

When the game master returned from behind the curtain, his mouth dropped open at the sight of the perfect bullseye and the two split arrows.

“O- oh,” He stammered, eyeing Four- who still had a slightly dangerously competitive gleam in their eye- warily. “That’s very impressive, kid. Well, I suppose you can choose any prize you like.”

Four turned to Hyrule, waving an offering hand. Hyrule, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, gestured towards the necklace.

The gamemaster, still looking a bit baffled, shook his head in disbelief, but pulled down the necklace from where it hung on its peg, and handed it over to Hyrule. They wasted no time clipping it around their neck. They grinned stupidly at the necklace, flicking it back and forth across their chest to make the light dance along the glass of the wings.

When they looked back up, Four had already vanished. Maybe literally, or perhaps they’d simply wandered away in the crowd. Wind, inpatient, wasted no time in dragging Hyrule away from the still gawking game master.

Later that night, after giving an offering to both Wind and Four’s shrines, Hyrule lay curled up in his bed. Maybe it hadn’t been a waste to go to the festival after all. 

~~~

The temple of the gods that Hyrule served was located in Castle Town, the capital city of Hyrule. Castle Town was notoriously hard to invade. As far as Hyrule knew, no one who tried to lay siege on the city had ever been successful. 

The Great Sea lay to the east of the city, allowing the city to get supplies during a siege. Sprawling docks and beaches made up the eastern side of the city. Under the tutelage of the ocean god, Hyruleans had become masters of the sea, both above and below the waves, in the case of the Zora (Worship for Wind was, unsurprisingly, more popular in that part of the city.) 

To the south the land became more arid, the landscape past the city slowly shifting from forest to a large desert. It was impossible to traverse unless you knew the right routes to travel and had the correct supplies. Invading countries who tried to cross the desert had to carry their own supplies and bring enough water for a whole army. They very rarely made it very far.

Out west, a mountainous landscape gave shelter from potential invaders. Death mountain oozed lava across the southern half of the mountain range. The lava and heat made it impossible to cross to everyone except the Gorons.

In short, Castle Town was an impenetrable fortress of a city. It offered safety to those who lived there. The citizens of Hyrule were more than used to the natural barriers that offered them protection and knew how to harness them. They knew the dangers and how to minimize them.

That was, besides the Lost Woods. The Lost Woods was kind to no one who carried pure mortal blood, Hyrulean or not. The nymphs and other forest spirits that lived there didn’t like to be seen by mortals. 

Those who entered the woods brought with them thick fog that confused their senses. The Skullkids would dance through the mist, giggling and disorienting the mortals. If they were lucky, mortals would stumble out a few days later, exhausted and starving but ultimately fine. Those who weren’t so lucky never came out at all, remaining in the woods forever, becoming a wandering lost soul. 

Those who’d survived the woods told tales of it being a dark and haunted place, unwelcoming and horrifying. 

To Hyrule, the woods were home. They were technically mortal, yes, but their fairy blood gave them a bit of a pass. They might not have inherited their mother’s immortality or fairy form, but they had still been born in these woods. The forest recognized them as one of its own, even if they were mortal. To Hyrule, the forest was never hostile. The nymphs and spirits were shy but didn’t hide away from Hyrule as they did from other mortals. The Skullchildren left them alone besides trying to goad them into an occasional game of hide and seek.

Hyrule’s mother’s fairy fountain lay safe, deep within the trees. She still resided there with their immortal sisters. Hyrule visited sometimes, but the visits were almost always brief and strained. The chasm that had been created when their mother realized Hyrule was mortal had only grown since Hyrule had left the safety of the fountain to strike out on their own. 

But even if they could never truly go back to how it was when they were a child, the forest still welcomed them with open arms, magic reaching out and twinging around them. They had grown up here, and the forest knew that. 

Their ability to enter the forest made them popular with the apothecaries in Castle Town. Usually, the doctors and potion brewers who wanted to harvest magical plants had to creep along the outer edges of the forest to do so, all while remaining cautious of the ever-present fog. 

If the mist started to creep in too much or the whispers of the skullkids became too loud, they knew they’d wandered too far in. It was a delicate balance between getting the plants they need, and not becoming trapped 

Hyrule’s fairy blood allowed them to freely pass through the woods and collect as many of the needed plants as they wanted, and they were more than happy to do so, and sell them to the apothecary shops. For a price, of course. This was how they got most of their money. Their jobs at the temple were paid in room, board, and protection from the gods.

That was what they were doing today. It was a sunny day, but the sun’s warmth was cut by a brisk wind that blew between the trees. It was getting a little late in the afternoon, but they still had plenty of time before they had to start heading back.

Hyrule shivered and drew their cloak tighter around them to block out the chill. They were crouched at the base of a gnarled old apple tree, picking a few stems off of a cluster of warm safflina. They were careful not to take too much of it, leaving enough of the blooms for the plant to thrive. They had to be cautious not to over-harvest if they wanted the safflina to continue to flourish in this part of the forest. They tucked the safflina into their foraging pouch, standing up to move on to find another plant. 

A sudden rustling from the tree above made them startle slightly, but they dismissed it as a bird or squirrel, or maybe even a curious skullkid. They hadn’t even taken two steps before they were proven wrong. A louder rustle this time followed by a gloopy-sounding thud sounding from behind them, and they whirled around to see what had fallen from the tree. 

It was an electric chuchu, glowing a sickly yellow in the shadow of the trees. The creature gurgled for a moment, bugling green eyes locked onto Hyrule. Instinctively, Hyrule took a few stumbling steps backwards to get out of its immediate shock range. 

If it had been a regular chu, Hyrule would have probably dealt with it themself. Chuchus, as a general rule, weren't that dangerous. Anyone with a knife could deal with them, as long as they were quick enough to avoid getting trapped in their acidic ooze. 

Electric chuchus, on the other hand, were much more dangerous to the average Hylian. Their shocks were the real danger, making them able to paralyze their victims. Those who got caught by the electricity remained conscious but unable to move. By the time the chuchu’s victims regained movement in their limbs, they were usually halfway dissolved and well on their way to becoming the slime’s dinner. 

Hyrule shuddered. The forest might love them, but there were still dangers in the woods, who didn’t care if Hyrule had fairy blood in them or not. Personally, they thought that was one of the worst ways to go. Forced to watch in terror as you were sucked into a chuchu’s slime, but unable to so much as scream for help. 

It was somewhat easier to deal with electric chuchus if you had a ranged weapon like a spear or bow. Unfortunately, all Hyrule had brought with them was a small metal knife. Even if they managed to land a hit on the chuchu, the electricity coursing through the metal would cause them to drop their weapon, which would be the last thing they wanted. 

Hyrule turned to run, a bolt of pure fear shooting through them. Chuchus were slow, but when they were close to their prey they could put on terrifying bursts of speed. And for eclectic chuchus, those bursts of speed came with waves of paralyzing electricity coursing through the ground. They could hear the gurgling sound of the chuchu getting ready to spring them before they had made it more than a few steps.

Hyrule eyes squeezed shut. Was this how they were going to die? Alone out in the forest, destined to become a skeleton stripped clean by a chuchu’s acid. Hysterically, they thought that at least their remains would be returned to nature when they died, and not burned like Hylians tended to do with their dead.

Just as the sizzling behind them grew to a crescendo and Hyrule was expecting to get hit with a wave of electricity, there was another sound of rustling above them.

Another chuchu in the trees? Oh gods, no-

But what followed wasn’t the wet sound of another chuchu landing on the floor. There was a whoosh of something falling from the tree, a loud pained gurgle, and then silence. When they had run a good distance away, and no electricity overcame them, Hyule slowed down cautiously, taking a quick look behind them. 

It hadn't, in fact, been another chuchu. It had been Wild.

Hyrule slowed to a complete stop, staring in shock at the god. He was crouched in the middle of the remains of the chuchu. His back was to Hyrule, so they couldn't see what Wild was doing, but that long blonde hair and scarred ear peeking out of it was unmistakable. 

A sword- still dripping with sparking goo- was slung on his back. The blade seemed unaffected by the acid, leaving it as clean as ever when it dripped off. Hyrule didn’t have to ask to know who forged that blade. No mortal smith could have made a blade like that. At least not without the blessing of the god of forges. 

Hyrule pressed a hand to their chest, feeling their racing heart. They let out a slow and steady breath as they tried to calm themself. Their legs felt weak. They offered a silent but honest prayer to Wild for the protection given to them. 

That seemed to catch Wild’s attention from whatever they were doing with the chuchu jelly. He looked up, sending a mischievous smile at Hyrule. “No need to thank me. It wasn’t a big deal, it was just a chuchu.”

“Well, still,” Hyrule protested, walking back over towards the god. “I’m pretty sure you just saved my life. So thank you.”

Wild didn’t respond to that. His attention had wandered away, as it often did. He seemed distracted by something up in the tree above, pulling himself upward by a low-hanging branch. Hyrule left him to it. Worrying over the wild god never got anyone anywhere. He would do what he wanted to, and it's not like falling out of the tree would actually hurt him.

Hyrule took a seat below the tree. They were more than rattled by their encounter with the chuchu, and not willing to wander too far away from Wild just yet. They would wait until WIld came back down again.

After a few moments of Wild moving about in the leaves, he called down to Hyrule, His voice sounded slightly wistful. “I wish your fairy blood had won out over your mortal parentage.”

Hyrule blinked at the seeming non sequitur but didn’t bother about it too much. Wild was scatterbrained on the best of days. One could never know how a conversation with him would go. If you wanted to keep up with him, you had to be ready to change topics at a moment's notice.

When Wild saw Hyrule had stopped to sit, he dropped out of the tree. When he landed, he was crouched on all fours like a lithe cat. For a moment, Hyrule swore Wild’s eyes glowed a bright teal as he looked up at them.

Then they blinked and the moment was gone. Wild flopped dramatically over Hyrule’s lap, handing them an apple he had picked from the tree. Hyrule, more than used to Wild’s lack of respect for the concept of personal space, simply hummed. 

“I would’ve liked to have your company when I go out hunting,” Wild admitted. “You’re fun to hang out with. A lot more fun than some of the old nymphs can be. They’re always complaining about Hylians encroaching on their territory. It’s not like I can actually do anything about it, though! Forest spirits already have the Lost Woods, I can’t claim any more land in their name.”

It was commonly said among the gods that Hyrule should have been born a fairy, not a mortal. Hyrule couldn’t bring themself to be offended by it. They couldn't even say they disagreed, necessarily. They especially couldn’t disagree with what Wild had said. Being a part of the Wild Hunt sounded fun.

They didn’t often get to hang out with Wild. He was the god that Hyrule saw the least of. He was somewhat willing to enter the city, and therefore didn’t come to visit the temple often.

Maybe they could convince Wild to let them join the Hunt, just for a few hours. They probably wouldn't be able to keep up, not without the wings that true immortal fairies were blessed with, but it would be enjoyable all the same.

For now though, they could settle for relaxing under the tree with Wild, happily munching on the apples he had picked.

~~~

The Pantheon:

Sky: God of the sky, divinity, sleep, and children (The first god, Mother of the gods)

Four: (They/Them) God of the four elemental spirits, and the forge. (They created the world out of the endless cloudy void Sky had been living in. The void is now the realm of the gods, the world is now the realm of the mortals)

Time: God of time, the seasons, the harvest/farming (He began the turning of the seasons)

Twilight: God of the night/day, animals, and the sun/moon/stars (He created the stars, planets, moon, and sun, and helped populate the world with animals)

Legend: God of myths, adventure, and music (He worked together with Twilight to create mortals. He also helped create the constellations)

Wind: God of the ocean and the dead (He helped deal with the overpopulation of mortals. Psychopomp. Started out as a mortal)

Warriors: (Xe/Xem/Xyr) God of war, strategy, and battle, (Also a psychopomp, but only to the effect that xe delivers souls of those who die in battle to Wind. “Battle” is very widely defined. Lots of things can be battles Ie: childbirth, battle with sickness)

Wild: God of the hearth, hunting, and the wilds (He moderates how much Hyians encroach on nature. Started out as a mortal)

Malon: Minor god of horses. Used to be a forest nymph before marrying Time

#mint's fanfiction #and the universe said i love you #linked universe #lu hyrule #lu warriors #lu wind #lu wild #lut ime #lu four #lu twilight #lu wolfie #lu malon #lu sky #lu legend #lu fanfiction #god au #fluff #angst #found family #fairy hyrule

[thedepthsoffandomminds]

The subtleties of the force part five- final

You are from this world, but at a convetion you stumble into the world between worlds, eventually falling into the Star Wars galaxy. Slow burn Anakinxreader content due to reader trying to keep the timeline straight.This is a long one, as I had put all chapters below so strap in. Begins at the start of AOTCFem reader, I hope you enjoy.

Convention lines were always long and this one had been no different. Alone once more you stepped forward, hesitation and excitement fighting for dominance in your stomach. In your hand you held a pile of promotional headshots, actors from a movie you had loved for years. You had always dreamed that one day you might find that your own father was a great hero and not the man who abandoned your mother and you. It had not happened yet so you supposed it never would. Looking down at your hands you could see the beginnings of age creeping over you, age spots covered the slowly thinning skin. Were you really closing in on your fifties? No family to rely on, no one there when you needed a friend, nothing. You'd lived an empty life. A staff member whose face seemed blurred in some way ushered you forward allowing you to step up to the celebrities. A pair of brown eyes met yours and you felt a twinge of sadness.

"Y/n?" Natalie Portman narrowed her eyes on you. You ignored the use of your name, took the picture back from her and moved on.

Ewan McGregor took your next picture and signed his name across it before looking up at you.

"Y/n? What?" His voice sounded miles away and you stepped away once more.

"Mother?" The voice of Mark Hamill caught your attention but that word didn't make sense, you must have heard it wrong. Were you dressed in cosplay? You check but no, you're in simple jeans. You can see the person you wanted to meet the most at the end of the line and you walked. A trance falling over you as people called out to you. Hayden Christensen looked up, his blue eyes catching yours. Panic filled him and you wondered if you were doing something wrong. He was rounding the tables and coming toward you. Hands grabbed your shoulders and dragged you away. Hayden reaches for you but misses your hand.

"Hmmm, her mind is confused. It will be hard to push our way in." The grand inquisitor huffed.

"Maybe we should take her straight to the Emperor?" Reva, the third sister suggested.

The two looked at each other, a conversation continuing in their minds.

The larger man turned once more to your body, placing his hand over your head.

"Perhaps I can at least clear her mind a little before we reach him"

Reva nods.

Everything stopped. The lights of the city, the noise of people, are all gone. You knelt holding your arms around your body in a dark room. You knew there was nothing there, no doors, no windows, no furniture. You know you need to keep everything locked away, pretend like you are nothing. The feeling of denticles wriggling through your mind comes again, slowly turning into the scratching of spiders.

'You will find nothing.' You spit out the words.

A cold wind whips around you and snow appears below you. Reaching out you touch the snow, feeling your fingers beginning to freeze. What place could be this cold? No place on Earth, illium perhaps or Florium, Both? You had never been to Both, so it could not be in your mind. This place was not a memory but knowledge. Your body is flung backwards.

Children are playing, not your children. No this is a street on Earth. Your street. Children are running by you in the summer heat. Turning away from them you see your home, a tall house with many levels, each an apartment. A hand slides into yours and you turn to see Anakin beside you.

"I know you haven't been here for a long time, y/n, but don't worry it's just while we're shooting this film." He kisses the side of your head and you feel soothed. Wait…did he say shooting a film?

"Sure, Anakin." You try out the name, he laughs with his whole body.

"You're going to call me that the whole time aren't you?" His smile was hard to ignore.

"As long as you let me." You say. He begins to lead you up the steps when you feel something off. Your feet feel too light, like you aren't walking on the paving slabs.

'This isn't real' you think, pulling your hand from his and spinning you're back in the dark empty room. No, it's not empty any more. There is a man, his skin is white, and eyes are yellow. The Grand Inquisitor. He cannot see you, his hand is hovering above something you cannot see. You feel your lightsaber in your hand and you approach him. In silence you place the hilt against his back.

"Stay out of my mind." You hiss and ignite your blade. The purple colour bursting from his chest.

The Grand Inquisitor stumbles back. A hole burned through his body. He drops to his knees and falls down. Reva, steps to him.

"Dead? She killed you from inside her mind."

—---

"Is Luke okay?" Leia asks her father, bending down to hug him from behind. Anakin sat in the pilot seat of the millennium falcon.

"The Droids say he is fine. The whimper got him good but he's a Skywalker, we're a hard bunch to kill." He pats his daughter's hand.

"We'll find her, father. We'll find all of them."

He smiles at her, "how did you become so smart?"

"I got it from my mother." She grinned, winking at him.

"Heh, yeah you did. She'd never do what we are though."

"I'm not going home without my family. Han found Luke, so now we're going to find mother." Leia kept her face stoic as she spoke.

"That you get from me." Anakin smiled.

"So what are we going to do?" She asks

"The only thing left to do. I was supposed to be the chosen one, bring balance to the force. So let's go kill the Sith."

Leia thought for a moment, pressing her lips together.

"Do you think that's what it means?" She asked.

"What else could it mean?"

"Well, forever there have been Jedi and Sith, at least two on each side. That's pretty balanced but what if, dad, what if it means that force users should be balanced?"

Anakin turned himself fully round to face his daughter.

"I know it sounds crazy but what if the only way to defeat the Emperor is by letting go. Use both sides of the force?"

"I don't…you know a long time ago, when your mother and I met we sat in the old temple one night. Your mother told me things about the force that I and none of the Jedi had ever known or thought of. It was her who showed us that love could be used for good, before we weren't allowed attachments, possession was forbidden for fear that it would lead to the darkside. Now we use our love to strengthen the light."

"Sounds similar to me. Mum is always saying that you shouldn't give in to your anger and that's true but what if we used it, just a little."

Anakin nodded.

"You might be onto something. Here, take over, I need to make contact with Obi-Wan." Anakin jumped from his chair and ran to the back rooms. Chewie had fallen asleep on the round booth chair which made Anakin laugh to himself as he passed him.

—----

Obi-Wan couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to go wrong. Over the years he had learned to trust his Padawan, his reckless ideas almost always worked out. Yet, now there were two more reckless Skywalkers to contend with.

"Look, I do not disbelieve or distrust your idea, I only wish to convey caution in all matters. Mace and Y/n are the only two Jedi who have been able to use their fear and anger to strengthen their abilities. Be mindful Anakin, at all times."

"I will be Master."

The hologram faded away.

"Time to save mum?"

Luke asked, his wild blue eyes glinting under the lights of the machinery.

"Let's go get mum." Anakin repeated, clapping his son on the back and pulling his daughter along behind by her hand.

*******************

Your eyes open, only to close again against the pain in your head. The room around you seemed familiar somehow. The same feeling you continued to get becoming more and more irritating.

"AHH, Madam Skywalker, lovely to have you here." The voice scratched your ears.

"Palpatine." You reply, looking at him with no respect for his self appointed title. Palpatine visabally grits his teeth at you.

"I am glad you could finally find your way out of whatever mind dungeon you had shut yourself in."

You roll your eyes.

"Oh yes, it's a decided displeasure to be in your acquaintance as always." You give him a fake grin. An Inquisitor steps forward and slaps you with the back of his gloves hand.

"You will not speak to the Emperor in such a manner." He growled. Palpatine raised his hand and gestured for him to step away.

"Not to worry, y/n will know her place soon. Your mind has given me plenty. Poor little girl, lost in her world not meant to be there. The force found you and you pulled you to exactly where you needed to be. Now, you will be mine, my apprentice."

"Ha! No way." You laugh. Palpatine steps closer to you, his face mere inches from your own, you can see the deformation of his skin below his hood. You feel and smell his rancid breath on your skin. His yellow eyes bore into yours.

"For some time now my new obsession has been you, y/n. How did a person appear from nowhere and become the strongest force wielder we have ever seen. How is it the Force could travel so far and pull you here? You must know."

You swallow and take a deep breath.

"I have been here for over twenty years, if the force has a higher meaning for me, I think we'd know it by now. Also toothpaste is a thing."

"AHH yes, make jokes all you like, you will bend to my will." He snarled.

"I didn't turn then, none of us will turn now."

He laughed, cackled in your face.

"Oh once I've turned you, Anakin and your children will follow easily."

You roll your eyes and sigh, hoping it would convert every ounce of contempt you had for him.

Heavy boots echo as they approach, too loud for the quiet room. The officer speaks to the Inquisitor who glanced nervously at you.

"My Lord Emperor, the rebels and the Jedi are here."

"Then shoot them all down, but let the Skywalkers come to me." Palpatine kept his eyes on you as he spoke.

"It seems they already are here, on the planet. They have made contact with the Natives."

Palpatine's smile became impossibly wider.

"Here they come, time for you to choose Skywalker."

"I would rather die."

"Then you will, and they will turn."

—----

Han Solo, Chewie, Anakin, Leia and Luke crouch behind trees and rocks looking at a set of troopers. Troopers with black uniforms and red flashings. They stand between several speeder bikes.

"Chewie and I will take care of this. You stay here.." Han whispers to the others.

"Quietly there might be more of them out there." Luke warns his friend.

"Hey it's me." He grins and moves away from the group.

"That's what we're afraid of." Anakin quips, winking at his daughter. Han creeps toward a trooper pulling out his gun. A twig snaps below his foot and the trooper turns. Han manges to punch him and a fight breaks out between them. Two troopers jump on speeders and rush off. Luke has only a second to register both his father and sister leaping forward onto speeders.

"Leia, dad!" He just manages to jump.on to Leia's speeder and keep hold as she pulls away. Anakin laughs as he speeds through the trees. A different climate but it felt just like the pod racing of his childhood.

The two teens took on one trooper managing to knock him from his course and smash into a tree. Anakin was enjoying the race a little too much. Toying with the trooper, he would pull up alongside him only to disappear between the trees again. Fear radiated off the nameless soldier as he tried his communications router. There was nothing but static.

Anakin appeared alongside him once more, a smile dancing upon his face as he drew his lightsaber. The trooper had no chance to react as the blade sliced through the front of the speeder and he landed in an explosion against a tree. Anakin laughed, and his children drew up beside him.

"What are we doing? Going back for the others or heading in?" Leia called to him.

"What do you say Luke?" Anakin asked.

"Let's go get her!"

They pull up the bikes and jump off them, not wanting to alert any more troopers to their presence. By foot they ran through the trees till they could see the base.

"Imperial architecture is hardly imaginative." Leia rolls her eyes.

"Well when you're a senator in the new republic you can order it all made pretty." Luke laughed.

"Alright kids, remember your training, quickly and quietly."

The twins nod to their father and move out.

The troopers and droids outside the base were little work for the three Jedi. Luke crouched next to a trooper and pulled his helmet off.

"They aren't clones." He announced.

"Count Dooku destroyed Camino a long time ago, I doubt anyone else knows how to clone people." Anakin explained as he tinkered with a battle droid.

"What are you doing?" Leia asked him.

"Nothing like a little confusion to distract the enemy." Anakin said as he pulled wires around.

"You're rewiring it." She nodded, "I'll get the door." Leia ran over to the base and started pressing buttons. The combination to the door was long but not complicated and by the time Anakin was done with the droid the doors slid open.

They directed the droid inside before slipping by and turning in the opposite direction.

The halls were dark, normal imperial interior design of black walls and tiny red lights, decorated their path through the base. The trio hadn't seen any officers, soldiers or troops for some time when Anakin stopped in his tracks.

"This is a trap." He whispered to his children, "Luke go down a level, Leia into the vents, both of you stay hidden, we'll go in the same direction and find your mother. Stay hidden until I give you a signal."

The twins agree and run off to their specified places as Anakin squared his shoulders, dropped his brown cloak to the floor and marched forward.

The closer he got to the centre of the building the colder it grew, air blew out of his mouth in clouds of vapour. He could hear you somewhere inside, your low grunts of pain emitting through the walls. Though he desperately wanted to charge in and destroy whoever was hurting you he knew he needed to be more calculated. Steadying his breathing Anakin used the force to open the final door. Turning to him the Emperor plunged his crimson sabre through your body. You cried out for your husband, feeling the heat sever your spinal cord. He drops you to the ground and you hit your chin.

"Ahh at last, we meet again. Are you ready now, my boy?"

Anakin smiled. He did not care about the Inquisitors that circled him.

"Thank you, Emperor, you have given me exactly what I need." Anakin's eyes flashed yellow for a moment as he spoke and felt his body full with new power. Ignoring his sabre he charged forward. Behind him Leia dropped from the vents cutting down one of the inquisitors before Luke emerged from below. The battle went on around you as you struggled to keep yourself awake. A pair of hands touched your shoulders and you spun your face round.

"Cody, you're okay?"

"I sure am madam Skywalker. Let's get you out of here." He grinned, pulling at you.

"I can't walk." You force out. Cody lifts you into his arms and runs for the exit, dodging and weaving through the fighting force users.

"How did you escape?" You ask him, arms clinging around his neck.

"I was only clipped.in the shoulder ma'am, your son found me in a cell." He hits the door with his boots hoping it would open.

Looking over his shoulder you see the last inquisitor fall limp to the ground, his head rolling away. Your two children stood triumphant above their enemies.

"You played it wrong, Palpatine. Hurting my wife doesn't make me weak." Anakin held his adversary around the neck with the force.

"Yes, good, give into your anger." Palpatine hissed out the words.

"I don't need to." Anakin laughed, clenching his fingers as if they were clamped around the Emperor's neck.

The Emperor let out his own strangled laugh and pointed his fingers toward Anakin. Blue lightning burst out of them and struck Anakin. He faulted slightly, taking a step back but holding himself still. Luke and Leia ran up behind him putting their hands on their father's shoulders.

"I am the Empire, the galaxy and the Sith." Palpatine growled.

"And we are the Jedi and the Force." They spoke in unison, the two children bringing their hands up in front of them. You closed your eyes and called out to any Jedi who could hear you.

Around the galaxy, within each system force users heard your voice. They stood and closed their eyes, focusing in on the room. Power surged through the trio. A beam of golden light shone from their hands and engulfed the Emperor. Red and blue sparked from all around them as the Emperor's skin peeled from his body. Slowly he faded into nothing. A mass of robes and dust fell to the ground.

Your husband and children dropped to their knees.

"What was that?" Luke asked.

"I don't know but it worked." Anakin said standing up. He turns to you and rushes to your side.

"Take her, General. The men and I will get this all cleaned up." Cody passed you over to Anakin, the pain in your back spasmed with their movements but your legs dangled limply. Leia told Cody to put the Emperor's remains in a box and seal it away.

************

Immediately after the rescue of you and the galaxy Senator Organa is given the role of Chancellor and begins to build a new republic senate. It would take years to rebuild the trust amongst the planets and the people but they were finally willing to put in the time.

All imperial buildings were demolished to make way for rehabilitation centres.

The Mandalorians returned to their home world, the Clone troopers were given full citizenship of any planet they chose, free to live a normal life.

And the Jedi?

The Jedi were gone, at least the order that had once been known. A new way had begun, the Skywalkers taught everyone how to use both sides of the force, to create a balanced life.

Though the healers and medic droids had tried they could never fully repair your spinal cord. Though you could walk and move about it was often short lived and used much of your focus to do. Anakin insisted on always being by your side, you didn't mind one bit. Sometimes at night you would dream of the life you left behind, a life of loneliness. You traded that life each time for the one you have now.

Though many of the old Jedi slowly grew old and died you relished on seeing the new council ascend. Obi-Wan became grandmaster after Yoda became one with the force. You, Anakin, Ahsoka and an extremely skilled young man, called Cal, held seats alongside him.

One year after the Empire's defeat you watched as Anakin walked Leia down the aisle, followed soon by the birth of her son with Han Solo. Ben was a beautiful boy, the image of his father and the spirit of his mother. He was followed by a brother three years later, baby Anakin's blue eyes shone just as bright as his namesake.

Luke two found love with Mara Jade, mandalorian born with skills unmatched by so many in the force. Two more grandchildren blessed your life Jacen and Jaina.

Anakin and you slowly grew older until you decided it was time to retire from the council, and live a quiet life. You watched your grandchildren grow into adults, Ben found a girl, lost in the deserts of Jakku.

You saw it the moment you met her, though you would never tell a soul of her ancestry. Rey quickly became a part of a family and gave you a great granddaughter who named after you.

Finally sixty years after your arrival, forty years after the emperor's demise you and Anakin laid down once more beside each other.

Anakin held you in his arms and you kissed him one last time in your corporeal bodies before both of you became one with the force. Content and happy and together with the force finally, truly balanced across the universe. At least it would be for the next three thousand years. The republic would thrive until amongst the depths of Moraband a spark would ignite. A child would be born and the saga of the Skywalkers would begin again.

The end.

An - Hey, I have used names from the Legends cannon in this part though swapping parentage to accommodate the current Cannon as well. I decided on a happy ending for the galaxy.

Hope you all enjoyed the story. Thank you so much for coming along this journey with me.

Please do no post anywhere else reblogs are fine. Interact and let me know what you think. (I may do an alternative ending)

#anakin x reader #anakin fanfic #anakin and ahsoka #star wars anakin #anakin and padme #obi wan kenobi #yoda #mace windu #ben solo #luke skywalker #leia organa #star wars #star wars fanfiction #anakin skywalker

[siriusly-addicted-to-writing]

[Y/N] Picks…

Pairing: [Y/N] x Sirius & [Y/N] x James (@ different times)

Summary: [Y/N] needs to decide between James & Sirius, but she doesn’t know who to pick.

Warning(s): cussing, sexual implications, make-out (kinda detailed but nothing too crazy), unedited,

A/N: hey everyone. wow, i didn’t expect to ever be back honestly… but here I am. i’m going to be upfront and tell you that this will be ROUGH because i haven’t written anything from this world in almost two years. i also wanted to try something a little different, so it’s a chose your own adventure. at the end, you’re able to pick where you want your path and it will take you right there! anyway, i hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

——————

Of course, [Y/N] didn’t expect to fall in love with two guys. Nor did she expect them to fall in love with her. Stuff like this isn’t planned. It just happens.

First, there was Sirius. Yes, Sirius Black. The boy of about everyone’s dreams. From his charisma to his style, there was nothing to hate. Well, besides one, minor detail. 

He was a player.

Simple as that. Sirius Black was a player. He talked to the most girls, or well, that’s what everyone thought. The people who actually knew him, knew differently. If you asked someone who actually knew him, they’d tell you that he didn’t like most of the girls in his year… besides roughly three. Those were the ones he talked to.

Although, if you continued asking questions, you’d find out about the older girls. Of course Sirius Black was a sucker for older girls, especially the ones in the year above him. It always started with a conversation, but with Sirius, it was never just a conversation. When given the chance, he would make sure to give them a good time.

So when [Y/N] started catching feelings for him, she knew it wasn’t going to be good.

And, well, it wasn't. 

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One year ago...

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The moment [Y/N] caught feelings for Sirius, it was like a blow to the chest. The whole world around her was quaking. It had to have been the fact they were in the same house. It had to be. 

The days when she would get up in the morning on Saturdays and he would tell her how great she looked in those jeans or that shirt. She knew it was just him being friendly, because how many girls has he said that to? …but she couldn't help the butterflies in her chest.

It wasn't just that; it was also the fact that he would talk to her the most, and even though she was awkward with almost everyone. He could get her to have coherent sentences come out of her mouth. And damn she was thankful. 

[Y/N] saw a side of Sirius he didn’t let that many other people see, or at least that’s what she thought. She isn't sure who saw this side of him, but she hoped it was just her. 

In the beginning, liking Sirius wasn’t that bad. No, it was actually pretty great. Nothing changed. Their friendship was as strong as ever. 

But then a few months past. 

[Y/N] had liked Sirius for FOUR months now, and he didn't show any interest. There was nothing concrete that convinced her that he had feelings. It didn’t help that all of her friends said the feelings were mutual. [Y/N] didn't want to get her hopes up, so she said it was just him being nice and as friends. Although, she couldn’t help the desire in her heart that her friends were right.

But then summer came, and the perfect opportunity for her to get rid of her feelings for him. Being a half-blood was a good thing. She could see muggle guys, and maybe move on from her five month crush. 

Her goodbye was bitter sweet, but it was good. It was healthy. 

What wasn’t good, however, was the fact that Sirius would send her messages by owl constantly. [Y/N] would stop whatever she was doing and immediately read and respond to the letters. It was fine until the owls started arriving hourly. Hourly.

Now, hourly wasn’t a bad thing, but it did make things a little more complicated. How was she supposed to get over Sirius now?

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Two months later

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Summer went by quickly for [Y/N]. Between hanging out with her muggle friends, including a few cute guys, and writing to Sirius, the time flew by. Although it meant saying goodbye to her friends and family, she couldn’t wait to get back to Hogwarts to start her 5th year .

Something felt different in the letters Sirius had written. There was a shift sometime in the middle of July. The letters started to feel fueled with longing. He would tell her how he missed her: her smile, her laugh, her presence. The last letter he wrote to her was to tell her he couldn’t wait to see her.

Now, [Y/N] wouldn’t lie to herself, she did have a little fun over her summer break. There were a few wild nights that ended in kisses under the stars, but nothing too far. She didn’t doubt that Sirius had some fun too, but despite with being with other people, she felt like her and Sirius were going to go somewhere this year.

Once [Y/N] got back to Hogwarts, everything would be as it should be. Her and Sirius would finally get together, and this would be her year to shine.

Except, there was one minor problem she didn’t bother to take into account.

Head in clouds, beyond excited, [Y/N] walked onto the train looking for Sirius. Maybe he had a spot saved for her, or maybe he was looking for her. Her eyes scanned the cabins, but as she got closer to the end, her heart stopped as she narrowed in on a cabin to her left.

There he was, in the arms of another girl.

It’s not like [Y/N] hadn’t seen it before. She had. Many times, but it was different this time.

Sirius’ eyes devoured the girl in front of him. He wanted her, all of her. With a flick of his wand [Y/N] heard the compartment lock and the blinds went down.

[Y/N] blinked.

She heard nothing as she walked away, with only the ringing in her ears to remind her it was real. That, yes, she just saw that. She was only vaguely aware that a strong arm reached out and pulled her into a cabin. She was only vaguely aware that the boy held her in his arms, rocking her back and forth the whole way to Hogwarts. She was only vaguely aware that he whispered in her ear that ‘it’s going to be okay’, over and over again.

[Y/N] blinked.

Her ears stopped ringing to allow her to hear this whispered phrase again.

“It’s going to be okay, [Y/N],” the voice said. [Y/N] thought to herself for a second before deciding that, yeah, it was going to be okay. Her eye’s focused on the male who held her in his arms.

James Potter.

Of course. She smiled at him before drifting off to sleep.

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One month later

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“James, stop it right now, or I’ll…” [Y/N] started. James was currently sitting on the couch next to her in the common room clicking his wand on the table. [Y/N] sat down about an hour ago to start her potions homework. James quickly sat down next to her to get a head start on his too. The first half an hour was entirely productive… that was until James started getting too distracted to focus.

“Or you’ll what?” James countered, wiggling his eyebrows at [Y/N]. [Y/N] scoffed and rolled her eyes.

James and [Y/N] have always been friends. They’ve always been study buddies, but they didn’t do much other than that. They hung out with their mutual friends during their fourth year, but James had been actively pursuing a girl named Lily and [Y/N] was crushing on Sirius. Although, James decided to give up on Lily over the summer and move on (like [Y/N] should have), and saw [Y/N]’s face when she saw Sirius.

Later that day, when James and [Y/N] were sitting in the common room, Sirius walked in announced his new girlfriend. [Y/N] almost threw up, but James’ firm hand on her knee kept her grounded. Sirius’ eyes drifted to [Y/N], then to James’ hand and his smile faltered.

For less than a second.

If [Y/N] hadn’t been so caught up in her despair, she might have caught it.

But James did, and he took care of [Y/N] from moment day on. The first few days were rough. [Y/N]’s heart was breaking all at once and it hurt. But as time went on, it got easier.

Over the next month, her and James became inseparable. They did everything together, from eating, to studying, to sneaking out to stargaze. They were each other’s partner in crime.

Although, Sirius was still there. He’d distanced himself (having a girlfriend and all), but he was still friendly to [Y/N]. [Y/N]’s pain settled into a dull ache after awhile. He’d smile at her every now and then causing that dormant pain to spark through her, but she was okay. James helped numb the pain too.

It was easy to see that James and [Y/N] had feelings for each other. Everyone could see it, but neither of them admitted it. Whether it was too soon, or they were scared, nothing happened between them.

Well…

“Oh never mind, just shut up,” [Y/N]’s face blazed pink as she buried her face back into her homework. Beside her, James fell quiet. She did dare glance at him because what she wanted to say was written clearly in her eyes.

“You better tell me,” James started. [Y/N] tilted her head to look at his face. There was a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Or I’ll…” he continued.

“Or you’ll what?” [Y/N] said, fully facing him. James leaned toward her and nudged her chin with his thumb.

“Or I’ll kiss you,” James said, not waiting for a reply as he leaned in the whole way. [Y/N] had just enough time to close her eyes before his lips were on hers. Her hands reached up to grab his head, pulling him closer, to deepen the kiss. A surprised grunt escape James’ mouth before he reached over to reposition [Y/N] on his lap.

Now that she was straddling him, she kept his face close to hers. Nothing had felt this good in awhile. She could get lost in his kiss. She felt secure in his strong arms; it felt safe.

Seconds, minutes, or hours could’ve gone by, James sure didn’t know. He was too lost in completely devouring the girl he had sitting on his lap. That was until he heard a clunk.

Frightened, [Y/N] pulled away and looked over her shoulder to see a shocked Sirius. Sirius stared a second too long before bending over to pick up the book he dropped. When he stood up, he did not make eye contact with James or [Y/N] before walking up the stairs to his dormitory. 

“Well, that was... wow,” James said, causing [Y/N] to regain attention on James. When she looked at him, his hair was a complete disaster, and not to mention his swollen lips. She smiled, thinking she probably looked just as ridiculous.

“Yeah,” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek, “it was”. James smiled at her before turning back to his homework.

“Now, what potion were we working on?” James asked as [Y/N] shifted off if his lap to sit next to him. She smiled at him as he started to flip through the pages of his textbook. 

‘I’m happy. This is what I want. James likes me,’ she told herself. Although, that dull ache returned, bringing Sirius’ shocked face right along with it. 

-------------

 Present day

-------------

James and [Y/N] started dating a few days after that. He brought her a bouquet of roses and turned them from white to her favorite color. He presented them to her after a big quidditch match. She blushed profusely, and said yes in front of the whole party. She didn’t fail to note that Sirius left with his girlfriend shortly after.

James and [Y/N] fit together perfectly. They never argued, supported each other, and were best friends. It was safe.

Safe was the right word to describe it. What James and [Y/N] had was safe. There would be no heartbreak because they both knew they loved someone a little more, not that they would ever admit it. They would never call each other out on those one second too long glances, or those wandering eyes in the common room.

[Y/N] saw a future with James. She truly did. It was a simple one, but perfect nonetheless. They would live in a small cottage right outside of London with their two boys. It was perfect and happy future. She loved James a lot, and she knew he loved her.

And she knew they would grow to love each other completely. It would just take time.

Honestly, everything was entirely uncomplicated.

Until…

-------------

Later that night

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[Y/N] and James were eating dinner in the great hall. It was James’ favorite meal, and [Y/N] rolled her eyes as he was literally stuffing food into his mouth.

“You know, this isn’t a race. The food won’t get up and run away from you,” [Y/N] said, nudging James in the shoulder. James turned his head and you barely caught the mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Well, you know [Y/N], this is a school of witchcraft and wizardry. You actually never know when the food will get up and run away from you…” and with a flick of his wand the food started running all over the table. She laughed as the chicken sprinted through your potatoes, only to be silenced by a single look from one of your professors.

“JAMES POTTER,” a loud voice bellowed across the hall. James flicked his wand again to stop the running food; the chicken landed in the pudding. James turned and winked at [Y/N] before getting up and walking over to the voice. She blew him a kiss and watched him go.

She smiled as he reached out for the kiss and smacked it right in his cheek. Her stomach swarmed with butterflies.

She talked for awhile more before grabbing a cupcake and heading back to her room.

As she left, she didn’t notice that Sirius walked out the door moments before her. She definitely didn’t notice that he walked into a broom closet near her house.

Although, she did notice when a strong arm reached out and pulled her in said broom closet.

“What the hell?” [Y/N] yelled before a hand clasped over her mouth as she dropped her cupcake. She jumped back in surprise when her eyes landed on her captor face.

Sirius’ face.

“Please, let me talk first before you say anything,” Sirius said, slowly removing his hand from [Y/N]’s mouth. She raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. Sirius paused a moment before continuing. “[Y/N] what happened to us? I thought we had something going on over the summer, and then I see you in James’ arms on the way to Hogwarts and I…”

“Let me stop you right there. Are you trying to pin this on me? YOU were the one who was making out with another girl on the train. James found me after I saw,” [Y/N] said, interrupting him. For the first time, thinking of that memory didn’t bring pain, it brought anger instead.

“What? No.. I didn’t.. we didn’t…” Sirius started, but couldn’t form a sentence.

“You can try to deny it all you want, but I know what I saw,” [Y/N] said. “You know what else Sirius? I loved you. I wanted nothing more than to be with you. You crushed me when I saw you on the bus, and you crushed me again when you announced you were dating her. I don’t know where this conversation is going, but we have both moved on Sirius. I’m with James and you’re with…”

“No, I’m not with her. We broke up weeks ago. I broke up with her because I wanted to be with you. I only started dating her to make you jealous. Who would’ve thought you’d be the one making me jealous,” he glanced at [Y/N]. She had nothing to say, she was just watching him. Sirius continued, “[Y/N], I love you. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I’ve loved you for awhile now. I’m sorry I’ve been such a fool and made a huge mess of things. I should have never done anything to hurt you. Damnit, I want a second chance [Y/N]. Please, give me a second chance.”

He took a step closer, and leaned forward…

Time seemed to stop for [Y/N]. She didn’t expect to fall in love with two guys. Nor did she expect them to fall in love with her. Stuff like this isn’t planned. It just happens.

There was Sirius, her first love. The boy who had her heart from the beginning, but then broke it into two.

Then there was James. The boy who picked up those two pieces and made them whole again.

But the more she thought about it, the answer was right in front of her.

Of course, the person she belonged with was…

James

Sirius

#harry potter #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines #sirius black x you #sirius black fanfiction #sirius x reader #sirius orion black #sirius black #sirius black fanfic #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagines #sirius black imagine #james potter fanfiction #james fleamont potter #james x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter imagines #james potter #james potter imagine #james potter x reader #marauders era #marauders fanfiction #marauders era imagine #marauders #lily potter

[lavenderlilacbones]

Love Never Dies

Vampire!Eddie x Fem!Reader

Description: It's been months since the horror that enveloped your spring break ended. Life has been miserable in the aftermath and all you want to do is run away until an unexpected visitor shows up in your room.

Warnings: NSFW/18+ ONLY, SMUT with an attempt at minor plot (post ST4 Vol 2), minors DNI, slight praise kink, dirty talk, blood, reader uses she/her pronouns, no use of y/n, use of pet names, fingering, unprotected p in v, creampie, tiny touch of fluff at the end

A/N: Vampire Eddie fics are *chefs kiss* so I really wanted to do one too. I was further spurred on by rewatching Bram Stoker's Dracula recently which is a surprisingly horny vampire movie (and overall great film). This one came out pretty quick which is great since I've felt a little creative block with the other story I was working on. Hopefully this gets the juices flowing.

Word count: 3500

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months had passed, spring had given way to summer and as the days grew long and the midsummer heat continued to rise, your window rarely stayed closed. The living nightmare of March of '86 was behind you but still left lasting trauma. Hell, you barely graduated in the end but you pushed through. You couldn't bear to fail and get locked into staying in Hawkins another year, having to continue walking through those now claustrophobic halls at school. Not without him.

Living without Eddie didn't get easier so much as it just got more bearable as time went on. You woke up, you went to work, you came home, you went to sleep. Rinse, repeat. You'd almost become a recluse, trying to save up as much as you could from your meager paychecks just so you could get the hell out of town as soon as possible. To run from the painful memories. The gang always checked in, they've been through this enough to know how important it was to support one another in the aftermath. They were the only people who could get you to break your dull new routine.

After spending the evening with Robin and Nancy, all you wanted to do was be in your bed and shut off. You flopped back on your mattress, kicking your shoes off before pulling your legs up to join the rest of your body. As you curled up on your side, you reached a hand up to fidget with the skull ring attached to the delicate chain around your neck. One of Eddie's rings. Something he shoved into your hand as he choked on his last dying breaths lying between you and Dustin. Your mind drifted, staring off unfocused into nothing. Time had transformed your grief from crying fits to quiet moments of dissociation.

Before you let yourself slip too far you sat up sharply. You weren't going to fall asleep like this again. Getting up, you went through your normal evening routine, settling for a cropped tank top and your underwear to sleep in. As warm as it was, you couldn’t sleep without something covering you, loosely pulling the flat sheet from your bed covers over your lower half. You left your bedside lamp on. Despite being an adult now, the horror of the Upside Down had reignited your fear of the dark. At least now when the nightmares ripped you awake, you couldn't be fooled by shadows in the dark. You drifted off to sleep, hoping for a more restful night for once.

Not long after sleep claimed you, a red fog began creeping through your window. Slowly it gathered at the foot of your bed in a thick growing pool before it began to take shape, becoming a tall figure with wild dark curls. As the figure solidified, he rolled his shoulders, taking a long and satisfying stretch. He trained his eyes on your sleeping form, walking round to the side of the bed, taking a careful, weightless seat on the mattress beside you. Lifting a hand to your face, he caresses your cheek softly.

You shiver slightly at his touch. Despite the extreme gentleness of it, the stark difference in temperature between his freezing cold fingers and the heat surrounding you stirs you from your slumber. Bleary eyed you begin to notice the large form beside you, suddenly shoving yourself backwards towards the opposite side of the bed. "Who are you?!" You blink and rub your eyes, forcing them to focus.

"I know it's been a little while, but you can't tell me you don't recognize me already," he chuckles, turning his body to face you.

A sharp gasp slips out, your hands darting up to cover your mouth as it hangs open. You can't believe what you're seeing. "...E-eddie?"

Eddie spreads his arms out in a small flourish, bowing slightly, a smirk flashing across his face, "In the flesh, sweetheart."

You reach a shaking, cautious hand towards him. "I must be dreaming, there's no way… Eddie… I watched the lights go out in your eyes. Steve had to practically drag Dustin and I away from you!" If this was a dream, it was a cruel new kind of dream. You would almost prefer the nightmares, reliving that terrible moment of being too late over and over again was at least familiar.

Eddie attempts to grasp your hand, the sudden cold sensation shocking you and causing you to rip it back. He frowns at your reaction, "It's really me. It took a long time, but I recovered, I pulled myself out. I…" His voice trailed off as he looked away from you, his eyes distant.

"Eddie…" you reached for him again, this time not shying away from the chill as you took his hand, "...baby why are you so cold? What happened after you died?" Tears filled your eyes and threatened to start falling down your face.

His gaze returned to you, closing his hand around yours and squeezing. "I'm not sure… something changed. I changed. I thought it was something about that place, but I've been back in real Hawkins for a week and I haven't eaten, I haven't wanted to for months." Eddie's tongue darts out to lick over his lips as he becomes more aware of your warmth and of something else he can't put his finger on. "I've been hiding in the woods. You're the first person I've tried to come near."

You take in a deep breath, using your free hand to wipe your eyes. "Eddie, it's July. How have you not eaten anything since March?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think I'm human anymore." His words hang in the room, the silence near deafening.

You study his features. Even in the soft warm light of your lamp he looks paler than usual, the demobat bite marks you remember seeing on his neck are completely gone, he doesn't even have a noticeable scar. You scoot closer to him again, hanging a leg off the side of the bed as you take his face in your hand.

Eddie closes his eyes as he breathes you in, leaning his face into your hand. The scent is intoxicating, he always loved the way you smelled, but something is different now. An insatiable hunger began to ignite in him as he cupped his hand over yours, turning his face to it and placing a gentle kiss on your palm, trailing another closer to your wrist, followed by another as his mouth opens slightly.

Your eyes widened as you took your hand from him. "Eddie!"

Your voice snaps him out of his trance as he looks at you like a deer caught in headlights, pupils blown out.

You grab his face, thumb gently lifting his lip to see his much more pronounced canines and gasping again as you release him. "Fucking shit Eddie, you're a goddamn vampire! That's why you haven't been hungry!" You pause for a moment before slapping his knee. "Did you just try to bite me?!"

The metal head blinks and throws his hands up. "Sorry! I can't help it! You're the first warm body I've been this close to and…" he licks his lip again, "God, baby, you smell so good. I mean, you always have but… this is… different." He pants slightly, rubbing his hands over your warm thighs. "I think you're right. Those fuckin bats turned me." He's not looking at your face anymore, eyes dropping to your chest as his hands slide towards your hips and down again.

Having his hands on your thighs reminded you of your own needs, how much you missed his touch. As inappropriate as it felt to get aroused at a time like this, you couldn't help yourself. Despite the situation at hand, you felt overtaken by some unknown aphrodisiac and you needed Eddie. His fingers kneaded the flesh of  your thighs. "Eddie…" you breathed, leaning towards him, placing a hand on his thigh sliding it further up his leg as you grew closer.

"Yeah?" His eyes don't meet yours, it's almost as if he's staring directly at your heart, seeing your veins through your skin as the blood pumps through them.

"Are you doing this?" Your hand comes to his face again, your breaths quickening.

He meets your eyes now, pupils still blown out with lust. "Dunno, haven't really had a chance to flex all these new vamp abilities yet." He laughs to himself, beginning to lean in as well. "Vampire books were your thing, sweetheart." He places a tentative kiss on your chin taking note of the change in your demeanor. "Are you saying I have some kind of new sexy powers?" He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

You choke down a hard gulp, your hands sliding over his dingy, torn Hellfire shirt. Despite your fictional knowledge of vampires, you weren't sure how much of it applied to real vampires. Hell until tonight you didn't even think they could be real. What little you had read had been about tragic, romantic vampires and less about terrifying monster vampires. Fingers crossed Eddie was the former. "Maybe I've just been ignoring my needs since you've been gone…" You chanced a chaste kiss on his lips, feeling him softly groan into you. 

"I missed you so much, baby. Thinkin' about seein' this pretty face again might've been what drove me to crawl my way out of that fuckin' hell hole." Eddie slides a hand on your ass and another around your back, dragging you closer to him as he kisses you. "I don't know how much control I really have over myself but fuck, I want you so bad sweetheart and I don't mean your blood."

A small moan escapes you as he kisses your jawline. "Just try not to kill me, would ya, Eds? Christ, I've missed you so bad too, it'd be a shame to end our reunion on a sour note," you try to slip a little humor in, laughing nervously at your own words. 

Eddie pulls back to study your face, bringing a hand up to your cheek and dragging his thumb over your lips. "I'd go back down there and throw myself at Vecna himself before I'd do that sweetheart." His eyes are locked with yours, a moment of clarity in the haze as he makes his promise. 

You give him a little nod and he meets your lips again in a kiss, more passionate this time. Before you realize it, he's lifting you over his lap like you weigh nothing, settling you down to straddle against him. He sighs through his kisses at the feeling of your full body heat against him, wrapping his arms around your back.

Your hands grip his shoulders before sliding over them and around his neck. You grind into his lap, moaning into him from the friction, your thin panties providing a very minimal barrier between you two. Eddie takes advantage of your open mouth and slips his tongue in, connecting with yours and twisting together. His fingers dance nimbly over your sides, sliding under your loose cropped tank, his hands coming up to cup your tits and squeeze them.

"I missed these perfect tits, baby," he huffs as his kisses begin to trail down your throat. Unwilling to break his grasp on you, he nods down and takes the hem of your top in his teeth and pulls it up over your chest. He locks his lips on one of your nipples, gently sucking and biting at it before switching to the other.

Your hands slide up his neck, fingers wrapping in his hair and tugging lightly, eliciting a moan from Eddie as he worked your chest. "Eddie… I need you, I want you inside me," you whine against him, face buried in the crown of his hair as you pant.

Eddie licks a line between your breasts. "Yeah, baby? Want this cock inside you already?" He thrusts his hard bulge against your heat, another moan falling from your lips. His hand trails down your stomach, slipping under the hem of your panties. The longer his body was in contact with yours, the warmer he became, you barely noticed a chill when his fingers rubbed your clit. Eddie sucked in his bottom lip as he pushed further, strong fingers running over your soaked lips. "God I missed this too," he groans into you, "I missed how wet you get for me." He slides two fingers inside you with minimal effort, curling them inside you and immediately finding that spongy spot he knows best. "So warm and inviting."

You whine into him, your hold on him tightening as he works his magic, quickly causing you to fall apart in his hands. You really hadn't given yourself any attention since he'd been gone and it was embarrassingly apparent with how easily he ushered your orgasm forward. "Fuck Eddie, I'm gonna cum baby!"

He laughs and uses his free hand to cup your jaw so he can look at your face as you cum. "So soon? You really did miss me, didn't you? Cum for me, Princess. Soak these finger and then I'll fuck you."

Without another word, you clamp down on his fingers, sobbing moans leaving your mouth as he helps you ride out your first orgasm in months. He hisses through clenched teeth as he watches you writhe in his hands, his fangs glinting in the soft light. "That's it baby." He pulls his fingers from you, bringing them to his mouth as he drags his tongue over them, lewdly sucking your juices off each individual digit. He closes his eyes and growls, "Fuck, you taste so good." He roughly removes your top, sliding you down on the bed at an inhuman speed you can barely register.

Eddie pulls his shirt over his head, throwing it across the room before unfastening his belt and pants, shoving them off his legs. Crawling over you, his fingers hook in your underwear as he slides them down you legs. "Look at this pretty pussy, I bet she missed me too," He teases his thumb over your clit as he palms his erection through his boxers.

"Eddie…" you beg, "Please baby…" you writhe beneath him, hips thrusting into his hand. You look up at him, his slim, muscular form, hands reaching for him, to touch him.

Eddie grins, his large fangs more obvious now. "Please what baby?" He presses his thumb against you a little harder leaning over you to whisper in your ear, "What do you need, my love?"

Panting, your head falls back on your pillow, eyes closed. "Fuck me, Eddie. I need you so bad, baby."

He slides a finger down to drag along your slit, chuckling at the way your hips buck in response. "Fuck... I love when you beg for me, baby." Finally, he pulls down his boxers, kicking them off the edge of the bed. His thick cock hangs free as he spits in his hand, jerking himself until he's sufficiently lubricated. "What kind of man would I be if I left my pretty girl hanging?" He rubs his tip against your entrance, slowly pressing himself in.

Gripping the bed sheets, you moan beneath him, eyes rolling back slightly at the familiar feeling of Eddie stretching you as he fully settles inside you. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you passionately as he thrusts, slow and deep at first. Your legs wrap around him, both of you moaning into each other wantonly as Eddie begins to thrust faster and harder. 

"Fuck Eddie! You feel so good!" You bite his shoulder, fingers scratching his back 

Eddie moans loudly. "Ohhh sweetheart, you're so fucking tight. I could cum right now. It's like this pussy was made for me." He nibbles on your ear, trailing more kisses and love bites down the side of your neck. Eddie's breathing quickens as he licks over your jugular, feeling your pulse as he continued his unforgiving thrusts. His lips latch over your pulse point, sucking gently, teeth grazing the space as his left hand finds your right and intertwines his fingers tightly with yours.

Despite how lost you are in your combined pleasure, you can feel him teasing over your neck. Whining and mewling, one of your hands snakes through his hair, pressing him against you. "Eddie…" you gasp.

"Mmmhm?" He's in a trance, he can practically taste your blood already with how close he is to it.

"Drink from me…"

Eddie's eyes shoot open, pulling himself from your neck as he processes what you said, his hips stalling. "...what?"

"You'll need to feed eventually and I know you want to. You can drink from me. I-if you think you can stop that is." You feel your cheeks flush, you'd be lying if you said the thought didn't turn you on a little.

"I don't want to hurt you." Eddie's looking at you with those brown eyes of his, half hungry and lustful, half soft and cautious as he searches your face for any hint of doubt.

"You won't. I trust you, baby." You cup his cheek in your hand, giving him a deep, reassuring kiss. "Drink from me," you beckon, offering your neck to him.

Eddie begins to thrust into you again, watching as the sensation brings up your heart rate and quickens the pulse in your neck. Licking his lips he locks them on your jugular, fangs gently grazing the vein. He brings a hand up to caress your cheek before settling it in your hair and tangling it in the strands. Tender flesh gives away under the pressure of his bite and warm, coppery fluid fills his mouth. His eyes roll back in his head slightly before closing them completely, moaning into your neck. 

A heavy, sobbing moan leaves your mouth and you tug on his brown curls, your walls fluttering around his cock. The endorphins that rushed over you were incredible as Eddie's mouth sunk into you. His thrusts became ragged, your other hand running down his back to squeeze his ass and encourage him to keep going. "Fuck Eddie! Oh god I'm gonna cum again!"

He pulls his mouth from you, lapping gently at the punctures he left behind. "Fuck yes, baby. I want to feel you cum around me." He pulls his hand from your hair to grab your hip and angle your body against him, helping him keep pressure on your sweet spot. 

He has you screaming for him and in a few more rough thrusts, an overwhelming wave of pleasure washes over you. You pull him in for a deep kiss as you ride out your climax, sucking on his tongue and tasting the barest hint of your blood. Before long Eddie moans deeply into your mouth, his own release spilling forward as he shoots his load into you. He continues to thrust until your orgasms pass, finally stilling in you when your walls let up the pressure.

Eddie's head falls against your chest as he manages to keep from crushing you under his weight. "Still with me, sweetheart?" He asks, a hand coming up to touch your cheek.

Sliding your hands up his back, one following his arm to rest over the hand on your cheek as you pant. "Still here," you look down at him and smile. Blood gently trickles from where he bit you. 

Eddie licks over the punctures again, another satisfied groan leaving his mouth before using your sheets to apply a little pressure over them. "I think you're gonna need new sheets, Princess," he laughs, taking note of the small blood stain that had pooled beneath your neck.

"Mmm, I guess bloody sheets aren't a very good look," you smile at him, eyes half lidded in exhaustion. Eddie usually wore you out, but the slight blood loss exasperated it. "What do we do now?"

"Now," he pulls his softening cock from you with a small grunt and lays beside you, "we nap."

"No you dork, I mean, how do we tell our friends you're not dead anymore? Henderson's gonna flip," you gently bat at his shoulder, ushering a laugh from Eddie. His face is noticeably flushed, his soft lips that familiar pink again. An added benefit of the blood you assume, he looks a little more human after he's fed.

"I don't know," Eddie checks your neck, satisfied to see the punctures had finally clotted. "Right now all I want to think about is right here in this bed." He traces his thumb over your lips before presses his into them, joining his forehead against yours. 

You sigh and wrap your arms around him, his body feels warmer now, but still provides a welcome chill in contrast with the sweltering heat from outside. "I love you, Eddie."

He smiles, planting another sweet kiss to your lips, "I love you too, baby."

#eddie munson smut #vamp eddie #vampire!eddie #stranger things #eddie munson x reader

[c-e-d-dreamer]

Falling For Your Fools Gold: Chapter 13

A/N: Can y'all believe there's only one more chapter and then the epilogue remaining of this story? Wild. But I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! The ending is dedicated especially to @dustjacketmusings who said she'd only forgive me for the last chapter if there was murder. Which is a great segue into TW: murder, blood/violence, and attempted execution.

Read on AO3 // Chapter Masterlist // Previous Part // Next Part

Nesta stares at her window, at the sheer curtains blowing gently in the breeze that pours into her room. She can see the blue sky that stretches far and wide beyond the window, the sun as it begins its steady climb high above. It’s clearly going to be a perfect, late summer day, but all Nesta feels is cold numbness. It settles like ice in her gaping chest, her heart a throbbing and aching thing between her ribs.

Nesta tilts her head just enough that she can bury her nose in the fabric at her collar. She takes a shaky breath in, the scent of pine and burning embers flooding her senses and seeping beneath her skin. If she closes her eyes tight, she swears that she can almost feel the rocking of the sea beneath her, swears she can almost hear the sound of crashing waves against a wooden hull. And if she really concentrates, she swears she can almost feel a warm body pressed along her spine, strong arms holding her close, and slow, sleepy breaths fanning across her cheek.

She lets out a soft snort, barely a derisive laugh, as her eyes snap back open and reveal the truth of her situation. She never thought there’d be a day when she’d feel like a stranger in her own room, but then again, Nesta supposes she never thought she’d fall in love with a pirate captain either.

A whimper tears its way free past Nesta lips at that thought, at the thought of never seeing Cassian again, and she lifts her hands to press the heels against her eyes, determined to stop any more tears from falling. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and allows determination to settle like steel through her bones. She can’t let this get to her, won’t let this get to her. She’s stronger than this.

She just needs a plan.

Perhaps she can use everything that’s happened as an excuse to stall her father and Tomas, to delay the wedding while she “recovers.” It will give her the time to secure passage out of Adriata. All she needs to do is find someone with a ship, someone willing to take her to one of the port cities that Cassian and his crew are likely to stop in at some point.

“Nesta?”

Nesta turns her head over her shoulder, finding Feyre peeking her head through the bedroom door. Her youngest sister offers a small, tentative smile when Nesta meets her gaze, and then she’s stepping fully into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

“Father said you arrived late last night and to let you rest, but I wanted to see you,” Feyre explains, clambering up onto the bed as though they’re children again. “Are you wearing a man’s shirt?”

The sudden question and subject change has a genuine smile tugging at Nesta’s lip as she sits up properly. “You haven’t seen me in how long and that’s the first thing you ask?”

Feyre rolls her eyes, but she slips under the blankets beside Nesta, and when she meets her oldest sister’s eyes again, her face has gone serious. “Are you alright?”

Nesta drops her own eyes to her hands, fingers curling and twisting within the blankets. She considers lying. It would be so easy for the words to tumble past her lips, to weave the web about Tomas saving her and being happy to be back in Adriata. But though she, Elain, and Feyre had been through so much, though they had sometimes grown too long of claws through the years, they never lied. Not to each other.

“I will be,” Nesta finally answers.

Feyre offers a small, sympathetic smile at the response. She opens her mouth as though to say something more, but the opening of Nesta’s bedroom door again draws both women’s attention. They turn their heads just in time to watch Elain slip inside, the middle Archeron blinking a few times in surprise before a small smile takes over her face.

“I see we both had the same idea,” Elain tells Feyre as she too clambers up onto the bed to join her sisters. Once she’s settled on Nesta’s other side, she reaches a hand out, curling her fingers around her older sister’s. “I’m so glad that you’re home safe now. We were so worried.”

Shame claws its way through Nesta’s throat at her sister’s words, at the sincerity shining in her brown eyes, and she ducks her head and chokes out, “thanks.”

“I can’t imagine what it must have been like,” Elain continues, frowning as she shakes her head. “Taken by pirates? That must have been terrifying.”

“Surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as you think,” Nesta answers honestly, barely swallowing down the emotions threatening to spill over, the lump trying to form in her throat, as memories of the crew, of Cassian, are forcefully pulled back to the front of her mind.

“Speaking of pirates,” Feyre jumps in to say, leaning forward and dropping her voice. “I snuck off to the market square the other day, and I overheard some of the fishermen talking. Apparently, there’s a new pirate sailing the waters. A female. They called her Lady Death.”

It takes everything within Nesta to keep down her amused laugh, and she has to press her lips together firmly to stop from smirking. She can already imagine how Gwyn, Emerie, and Cresseida would react to stories of her being spread, to her name making it back to Adriata before she did.

“That’s absurd,” Elain scoffs, with a roll of her eyes. “There would never be ladies on a pirate ship.”

“The pirate crew I was with had women,” Nesta corrects, suddenly feeling offended on Cassian’s behalf.

“Really?” Feyre asks excitedly.

“You can’t run off and join a pirate crew, Feyre,” Elain teases lightly, laughter coloring her tone.

“Well, obviously. I don’t even know where I’d find a pirate crew,” Feyre grumbles before her face lights up again and her head snaps back toward Nesta with a smirk. “Unless Nesta can tell us the secrets to finding one.”

“Feyre,” Elain scolds, giving her younger sister a firm yet outraged look. She turns back to Nesta with a sympathetic smile, squeezing her hand again. “Don’t worry, Nesta. You don’t have to worry anymore about that Lord of Bloodshed or any more pirates. I’m sure that Lady Death will be brought to justice soon too.”

Nesta opens her mouth, ready to thank her sister for her concern, however misplaced it may be, before Elain’s words fully snag in Nesta’s mind. “How did you know I was with the Lord of Bloodshed?”

Elain and Feyre both frown at the question, sharing a look between them before Elain answers, “they brought the pirate captain back to Adriata with you. He’s going to be punished for his crimes.”

The world falls away from beneath Nesta’s feet, and for a moment, she feels like she’s free falling. Her head spins, all the air sucked out of her lungs, out of the room, as the walls press in around her. She tries to breathe around the pain flaring through her chest, through the black spots threatening to press into her vision, and somehow is able to squeeze words out again.

“What?”

“I thought you knew that Tomas had captured him when he rescued you. He’s going to hang for his piracy and for kidnapping you.”

“When?” Nesta demands, her heart already starting to pound an erratic beat.

“The hanging is scheduled for noon, just like always,” Feyre explains slowly, tilting her head curiously. “Nesta, are you alright?”

Nesta wants to scream. She wants to scream at her sisters that no, she is decidedly not alright. Nothing is alright. This can’t be happening. The crew was meant to be safe. That was why Nesta left with Tomas and came back to Adriata. That was why she walked away from the life she’d built on that ship, from the happiness she had found. She did it all so that the crew would be safe, and that includes Cassian.

He can’t die, not because of her. Losing him when she stepped off that ship was hard enough, but this? And it being all her fault? No. She refuses to let that happen. She’ll use every trick and honeyed word in her arsenal. She’ll plead and promise Tomas whatever he wants if she has to.

She will not let Cassian die.

Nesta snaps her head back toward the window, eying how high the sun has already climbed in the sky. It can’t be long now. She needs to hurry. Without another word, she throws the blankets off her legs and clambers off the bed, rushing toward her wardrobe and the dresses hanging there.

“I need you to help me dress,” Nesta requests, although the tone of her voice leaves it sounding more like a demand. She can’t find it within herself to care.

“Nesta, what's wrong?” Elain asks, decidedly not moving from her spot on the bed.

“I don't have time to explain,” Nesta snaps, pulling out one of her dresses and yanking it on over her shirt.

Elain looks less than impressed by the non-response, her face practically exasperated, but at least, Feyre clambers up off the bed. She steps up behind Nesta and helps tug the dress into place, working through the laces with deft fingers. Elain lets out a soft sigh, but she too climbs off the bed. She grabs Nesta's brush and golden pins off her vanity table, and starts to help Nesta get her hair into a semblance of order.

With her sisters' help, Nesta is ready in record time. She barely waits for Elain to slide the last pin into place before she's picking her skirts up and rushing for the door. She's half aware of Elain exclaiming her name in shock, of Feyre's footfalls following her through the winding corridors, but all Nesta can think about is Cassian.

As she bursts out the front door of the manor house and runs through the streets of Adriata, she swears her heart starts to beat in time with his name. A steady thrum of Cassian Cassian Cassian. And with every step closer to the Fort, every slap of her feet against the cobblestone, that beat grows louder, grows faster, grows desperate, urging her to keep moving.

Nesta's chest is heaving by the time she reaches the entrance to the Fort. The soldiers guarding either side eye her curiously, but Nesta refuses to let it faze her, determination blazing too hot, too bright, through her veins. She takes a moment to take a deep breath, to finally slow her steps. Then, with her spine straight, shoulders back, and head held high, Nesta walks through the large, stone archway and into the Fort.

“Nesta!” Feyre's voice calls before her youngest sister is settling into step beside her and looping their arms together. “Since when have you been able to run so fast?”

“I've been training,” Nesta explains simply, leading them both through the corridor until they step back into the sun and the main square of the Fort.

“Training for what?”

Nesta doesn't have time to deal with answering her sister's pestering questions. A wooden platform has been erected at the center of the main square, the executioner already standing atop it and waiting with cold indifference. Above the platform, a rope hangs down, a threat and a promise of what's to come. A decent sized crowd has already formed around the platform, from Adriata townsfolk taking time away from their shops and market stalls to the soldiers standing at attention and scattered along the inner walls of the Fort. Nesta's eyes scan the crowd, trying to spot her father or Tomas. She's sure that wherever they're standing, they are most likely together, and once she finds them, she can begin pleading her case for sparing Cassian.

A cacophony of cheers and jeers rise from the crowd, and Nesta snaps her head toward the sound just in time to watch the sea of bodies part and create a path. Two guards step forward, and walking in between them is Cassian. His hands are bound behind his back, his head hanging low over his shoulders and his loose hair obscuring his face.

Nesta feels like she can’t breathe watching him get closer and closer to that platform. The urge to call out his name claws at her throat, but when she parts her lips, no sound comes out. If she thought her heart was pounding before, it’s beating double time now, twisting and squeezing until Nesta’s whole chest seems to radiate pain.

Urgency prickles along Nesta’s skin now more than ever. She can’t handle watching Cassian take those final steps up onto the platform. Can’t stand the sight of his shoulders slumped and hunched as though in defeat. Doesn’t even want to think about the look on his face as they settle that rope around his neck. She just has to find Tomas. Or perhaps, if she makes a big enough scene—

“Lady Nesta.”

Nesta turns to find a man now standing in front of her. He’s dressed in dark finery, a coat of rich, black fabric and silver thread. A hat hides most of the dark strands of his hair, the wide brim of it casting a shadow across his face and leaving his eyes looking almost violet. Nesta is sure that she’s never seen this man in her life, but with the way his eyes flicker, the way the corner of his mouth twitches up in the barest hint of a smirk, it’s clear that he knows her. Even more so when the man sketches into a bow.

“My lord,” Nesta answers politely, dipping into a curtsey.

“And who might this absolutely lovely woman with you be?” the man asks, turning his attention to Nesta’s left.

Nesta frowns slightly at the question. “My youngest sister, Feyre.”

“Feyre darling,” the man all but purrs, taking Feyre’s hand in his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “A pleasure.”

“You as well, my lord,” Feyre offers, pink spilling across her cheeks.

“I must say, as much as I’d love to stay and speak with such beautiful women,” the man continues, daring to wink at Feyre. “I hope you ladies can excuse me.”

Another bow, and the man steps away from them and toward the crowd. Nesta watches curiously as instead of merely joining the onlookers, the man actively makes his way through the sea of bodies. Even more curious is that Nesta spots another man doing the same a little further away. Much like the first man, he’s dressed in all black, a hat hiding his face as he moves through the crowd and around the bodies gathered like a shadow.

Both men seem set on reaching the platform where Cassian is standing, and it hits Nesta suddenly who they must be, how the first man must have known her name. His brothers. Nesta’s attention snaps to the pirate captain up on the platform at last, and she almost wants to laugh. Despite the rope currently hanging around his neck, despite the bruise purpling the skin of his temple and cheek, despite the literal verdict decree being read aloud to a jeering crowd, Cassian is currently wearing that cocksure smirk of his.

“You now have the opportunity to speak any final words,” the executioner informs him.

“The only words I have are for the Commodore,” Cassian declares, his gaze darting to where Nesta assumes Tomas must be standing. “I want to commend you on your attempt at bringing me to justice, but I regret to inform you that you’ve once again failed.”

A confused murmur breaks out from the crowd before Tomas’ voice rings out above them all, “just hang the bastard already!”

The executioner listens to Tomas’ demand, the platform beneath Cassian’s feet suddenly falling away. At the same moment, a dagger goes flying through the air. It cuts clean through the rope, embedding deep into the wooden pole of the platform and sending Cassian tumbling to the ground. For a moment, there’s only stunned silence, and then all chaos breaks loose.

Nesta doesn’t waste another second. She lunges for the soldier closest to her, reaching for his sword and yanking it free. The soldier whips his attention toward her, eyes wide in surprise, but Nesta is swinging the sword with ease, cutting him down where he stands.

“Nesta!” Feyre exclaims.

Knowing that her sister can take care of herself, Nesta doesn’t look back and rushes into the fray. Shouts and the sounds of metal on metal echo off the stone walls surrounding the main square of the Fort. The crowd has started to disperse, everyone rushing toward the safety of the inner walls of the Fort and away from the fighting, and Nesta shoulders her way against the current of bodies, striking down soldiers as she gets closer and closer to the center of the square.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Cassian’s brothers distracted and engaged in their own fights, so she continues to push forward until she reaches the platform. Cassian is still sprawled across the ground; although, he’s worked his arms around so they’re bound across his front rather than behind his back. Nesta releases a relieved breath at seeing him alright, the sight a soothing balm that calms her thrumming heart. Cassian raises his head away from where he was focused on getting his hands free and meets her gaze as she steps closer. A wide, slow smirk starts to pull across his face, but then his attention dances over Nesta’s shoulders, eyes widening.

“Nes,” Cassian warns.

Nesta whirls around just in time to watch a soldier rush toward them. She resets her stance and lifts her sword, readying for a fight, but the soldier’s steps stutter to a stop. The soldier’s jaw slackens, his mouth open and closing as he merely stares at Nesta, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. With a scoff, Nesta rolls her eyes and swings her sword, easily disarming the soldier. With a twist of her wrist, she brings the hilt of her sword across his temple, and the soldier crumbles against the cobblestones unconscious.

Nesta moves to turn back to Cassian, but calluses sliding against the skin of her ankle have her jolting in surprise. She snaps her attention down only to find Cassian at her feet. With his still bound hands, he lifts the skirts of her dress up higher, not even bothering to meet her gaze.

“What are you doing?” Nesta demands, kicking her leg out to dislodge his grip.

“Where is your dagger?” Cassian shoots back, his tone almost exasperated.

“I left it on your ship.”

“Have I taught you nothing, princess?”

With another roll of her eyes, Nesta leans down. She slides the blade of her sword between Cassian’s hands, tugging until the rope tears. Cassian untangles the remaining rope from around his wrists, tossing it aside, before finally clambering up to his feet. He steps over to the unconscious soldier, picking up the discarded sword.

Cassian opens his mouth, as though he plans to say something more, but before he can, more soldiers rush toward them, none of the hesitation from the earlier soldier about fighting a woman to be seen. Nesta and Cassian settle back to back, moving in tandem and around one another as they fight off the onslaught. It’s like a dance known only to the two of them, each step, each swing of their swords, in time with a melody heard only between their souls.

Nesta ducks under an arching sword, spinning to swipe at the offending soldier’s legs. The sound of metal on metal echoes especially close to her ear, and when she turns her head to the right, she finds someone has blocked a sword that was careening straight for her shoulder. Her eyes follow along the blade that saved her until she meets a pair of hazel eyes, different yet so similar to the pair she’s come to love.

“You must be Nesta,” Cassian’s brother offers, using his free hand to pull a dagger from his belt and sinking it into the soldier’s gut. “Azriel.”

Nesta blinks a few times in surprise, at Azriel’s cool calmness despite the chaos around them, before she shakes herself back to the moment. She kicks at the soldier until he goes crumbling to the ground, clutching at his gut where the dagger went in. She stands back to her full height, rolling her shoulders and readying for the next soldier to step forward.

It seems that both of Cassian’s brothers have been pushed closer, the brother that spoke to her earlier, Rhysand Nesta realizes he must be, now swinging his sword with flare on Cassian’s other side. It has Nesta’s hackles rising as her eyes dart between the soldiers pressing in around them, at the way they’re being all but herded. Even worse, the only thing at their backs is the outward facing wall of the Fort, the raging sea and the cliffs just below.

“Please tell me you have a plan,” Nesta hisses, gaze darting between Cassian’s two brothers. “Or are we to fight our way out of the Fort and hope for the best?”

“Fight our way out of the Fort?” Rhysand parrots, taking a moment to finish off the soldier squaring off against him before brushing a hand against his sleeve like he’s merely discarding some lint rather than the soldier’s blood from the fabric. “There’s a ship waiting in the bay. We merely need to jump.”

Nesta snaps her head toward Rhysand, her jaw slackening as she asks dryly, “jump? That’s your big plan? And what of the rocks below?”

“Don’t hit the rocks,” Rhysand shoots back as if it’s obvious. He steps over to the ledge of the Fort, between the large, stone pillars there, and jumps, clearly trying to prove his point.

Despite the fact he can no longer see her, Nesta still can’t stop her scoff or her eye roll. Azriel smirks at the reaction, as he too shifts closer to the edge of the Fort. He shares some sort of knowing look with Cassian, tossing one last dagger with perfect aim, and vanishes below. Cassian inches closer to the edge next, and Nesta keeps one eye on him while still eying the remaining soldiers around them.

She knows that once he squeezes through and jumps, it will be her turn. Knows that there really will be no going back once she takes that leap. Everyone in this Fort will have seen her fighting alongside the pirates, will watch her as she flees with them. There will be no denying, no pretending that she was taken against her will. It’s a firm line in the sand, and Nesta knows that she should feel trepidation about crossing it. She knows that she should feel anxious about leaving her sisters, her life, and Adriata behind for good, but she doesn’t.

Instead, Nesta feels excitement thrum through her veins, her soul feeling almost entirely at peace at the prospect. The sea below seems to call her name, a whisper of Nesta Nesta Nesta as the waves crash along the cliff face and rocks. Already, Nesta imagines stepping foot onto the deck again, imagines the sounds of the wind billowing through the sails, imagines the feel of the salty breeze kissing her skin. She thinks of her Valkyries, of Baz and the rest of the crew. She thinks of the safety and happiness she found in the captain’s cabin, and her heart swells deep between her ribs at the thought of returning there, some invisible string tugging until she’s stepping back and back closer to Cassian and that ledge.

“Nesta.”

Nesta turns her head to find that Tomas has finally deemed to join the fray, to join his men that have already fallen. His eyes sweep over Nesta’s frame, taking in her raised sword, the blood now staining the skirts of her dress. He looks shocked for a moment at the state of her, but then his face is morphing, an almost pitying smile taking over his face.

“Nesta,” Tomas repeats, holding out an expectant hand toward her.

The way he says her name is patronizing, condescending, like he’s scolding a child. Like she has no idea what she’s doing. Like she’s just some silly girl making some silly mistake, and he’s disappointed in her. It ignites her blood, makes it boil until there’s no stopping the scowl that takes over her face.

“It’s Lady Death now,” Nesta declares, raising her sword between them with no hesitation, the threat clear in her tone, in her stance.

Cassian lets out a dark chuckle behind her, and Nesta can already picture the way the pirate captain must be staring Tomas down, all smug pride. All at once, the niceties drop away from Tomas’s expression. That cold cruelty bleeds back into his eyes, his bottom lip curling up as he sneers.

“Why am I not surprised?” Tomas asks derisively. “I should have known when we found you in the captain’s cabin. Should have known that you’d lower yourself to a bastard pirate’s whore. Did you enjoy yourself? Keeping a criminal’s bed warm?”

“What did you just say to her?” Cassian growls, stepping around Nesta with his own sword raised, a dangerous glint to his hazel eyes.

“Cassian, don’t.”

Cassian turns his head back toward Nesta, the confusion clear in his expression, but then his gaze dances over Nesta’s face. Understanding floods his eyes, a smirk tugging up his lips. He tosses his stolen sword aside, no longer needing it. Tomas raises an eyebrow at the gesture, smirking himself, his face the picture perfect of male arrogance, but when Cassian steps around him, pulling the Commodore’s arms back and holding him in place, that smile starts to slip.

Tomas tries to shift, tries to pull free from the grasp, but Cassian is too strong. His attention snaps back to Nesta, and while he clearly looks confused, it’s the anger simmering just beneath, the anger and cruelty Nesta knows all too well, that drives her to step forward. She twists her wrist so she can press the blade of her own sword against Tomas’ throat. His eyes widen, the color draining from his face, and Nesta relishes in it. All the things he’s said to her, all the things he’s done and tried to do, and now here he stands. Afraid.

“Do you remember the ball the Beddors hosted? When you cornered me out in the gardens?” Nesta asks lowly, pressing her blade tighter until blood starts to trickle down Tomas’ skin. “I asked you to stop, and you told me to beg. Well now, I want to hear you beg. Beg for your life, Tomas.”

Tomas swallows hard, the movement causing the sword to dig just a bit deeper. “Nesta…”

Nesta doesn’t even let him finish speaking, slicing the sword clean across his throat. Tomas splutters for a moment, but when Cassian releases his hold, the Commodore goes crumbling to the cobblestone, his eyes unblinking. Nesta can feel his blood on her cheeks, and her chest heaves along with her pounding heart as she stares down at him, but it’s pure relief that pours through her veins.

Fingers beneath her chin have Nesta’s gaze rising and meeting a pair of hazel eyes, the gold of them practically burning beneath the afternoon sun. Cassian’s hand shifts to cradle her cheek, his thumb wiping gently at the blood still marring her skin. Nesta expects him to say something, to ask if she’s alright just like that day back in Windhaven, but instead Cassian crashes his mouth against hers. Nesta clutches at his arms, pressing up onto her toes to meet the kiss with the same fervor. She pours every emotion, every word unsaid between them into that kiss, feeling the way Cassian does the same.

Too soon, the pirate captain is pulling away. He reaches down and squeezes Nesta’s hand, stepping around her to slip through the opening between the pillars and jumping over the ledge. Nesta’s gaze sweeps across the few remaining people still in the Fort, finding where her sister is sheltering. She tries to express everything, tries to offer an explanation through her expression, and she swears she can see understanding flicker in Feyre’s blue eyes. Swears the smallest hint of a smile tugs up Feyre’s lips. It’s enough.

With that, Nesta tosses her own sword down, the blade skittering along the cobblestones. She turns toward the Fort’s wall, stepping between the gap and eying the water and the rocks below. She takes a deep breath, her eyes falling shut as she sends one final prayer up to the Mother, and then Nesta jumps.

—

Updated Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog​ @lifeisntafantasy​ @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl​ @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld​ @isterofimias @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust​ @a-trifling-matter​ @blueunoias​ @kookskoocie​​ @unlikelypersonalknight1​ @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #nessian fanfiction #nessian fic #nesta x cassian #pirates au #my fic

[metamorphesque]

bts as poems (mary oliver edition)

The Fourth Sign of the Zodiac 

I know, you never intended to be in this world. But you’re in it all the same.

so why not get started immediately.

I mean, belonging to it. There is so much to admire, to weep over.

And to write music or poems about.

Bless the feet that take you to and fro. Bless the eyes and the listening ears. Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste. Bless touching.

On Meditating, Sort Of 

Some days I fall asleep, or land in that even better place — half asleep — where the world, spring, summer, autumn, winter — flies through my mind in its hardy ascent and its uncompromising descent.

So I just lie like that, while distance and time reveal their true attitudes: they never heard of me, and never will, or ever need to.

Of course I wake up finally thinking, how wonderful to be who I am, made out of earth and water, my own thoughts, my own fingerprints — all that glorious, temporary stuff.

How I Go Into the Woods 

Ordinarily I go to the woods alone, with not a single friend, for they are all smilers and talkers and therefore unsuitable. I don’t really want to be witnessed talking to the catbirds or hugging the old black oak tree. I have my ways of praying, as you no doubt have yours. Besides, when I am alone I can become invisible. I can sit on the top of a dune as motionless as an uprise of weeds, until the foxes run by unconcerned. I can hear the almost unhearable sound of the roses singing. If you have ever gone to the woods with me, I must love you very much.

To Begin With, the Sweet Grass

What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself. Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to. That was many years ago. Since then I have gone out from my confinements,   though with difficulty. I mean the ones that thought to rule my heart. I cast them out, I put them on the mush pile. They will be nourishment somehow (everything is nourishment somehow or another). And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope. I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is. I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned, I have become younger. And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know? Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.

The Ponds 

Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled -- to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. I want to believe I am looking into the white fire of a great mystery. I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing -- that the light is everything -- that it is more than the sum of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.

Dogfish 

If you asked for a picture I would have to draw a smile under the perfectly round eyes and above the chin, which was rough as a thousand sharpened nails.

And you know what a smile means, don’t you?

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song  where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;  I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was alive for a little while.

...

Also I wanted to be able to love. And we all know how that one goes, don’t we?

When Death Comes

When death comes  like the hungry bear in autumn;  when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse ... I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. … I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

#bts #bts as poems #bangtan #poetry #parallels #music #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jeongkook #rm #jin #suga #j-hope #jimin #v #tae 🐻 #jungkook #bts imagine #kookie 🐰 #jiminie 🐥 #hobi 🌞 #yoongi 🐱 #jinnie 🌼 #joonie 🌼

[negrowhat]

2022 BL ROUNDUP PART 5

Hey y'all, I've seen everyone doing their top 22, 20, 15, 10, and 5 BLs of the year and I didn't want to do a ranking! I just want to do a quick rundown of everything I watched and how I feel about it now! This is gonna be multiple posts! But I'll post them all at the same time.

LAST PART

Thai BLs I watched in 2022 that I loved

KinnPorsche the Series. Saved my summer! It was the most exciting series I've watched all year. Toxic ships never sailed so well and so far. I loved the action, the drama, the lies, the deceit, the mystery, and the raunchiness. 10/10. BUT I DON'T WANT S2 IF THEY'RE GOING TO CONTINUE WORKING WITH THE WRITERS OF THE NOVEL! THAT AMAZING CAST DESERVES THE WORLD!

Love in the Air. PAYURAIN FTW. PRAPAISKY FTW! I'm still thinking about my boys to this day. I loved our little weather boys. I loved both couples a lot, PayuRain a bit more. I love how different both storylines were and how they tied together. The chemistry between both pairs was *chef's kiss* we were given such an amazing cast. I hope to get more FortPeat and BossNoeul in 2022.

Secret Crush on You. A mess of a series and yet so well written. I think next to Not Me and the Eclipse, it was the most socially relevant series I've watched this year. They focused on a lot of real life issues that not only queer people deal with but also young people. The amount of green flag characters in this one series was astounding. If you can get past how over the top Toh was in ep 1 then the rest of the series is a treat.

Triage. Oh my gawd. What an exciting series. It's the BL version of the Butterfly Effect. I didn't think they would be able to properly showcase Tin and Tol falling in love because of the small amount of time covered in the actual time loops but gotdamn they did that. It was such a great watch, had me on the edge of my seat til the very end. Also I was not expecting a TaeTee series after OG 2moons played us.

My Ride. It was just a wholesome series. Both mains were just literally great people and green flags all around. It was a sweet strangers to friends to lovers series. The slow burn was good. Hated that Tawan had to deal with a cheating boyfriend but Mork was there for him. Loved Mork's uncles, they gave the BEST advice and Mork's moped friends were hilarious. Wish the one guy had a storyline with the Trans woman instead of the actual side couple we got. ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT MORK DECIDING TO GO GET HIS DEGREE TO OPEN HIS OWN GARAGE AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????

Ghost Host Ghost House. Wasn't expecting to love it so much. Loved the ghost storylines. That family had me CRYING! ESPCIALLY SEE NAM! I WANTED HER TO BE HAPPY WITH PRIM! PRIM LOST SO MUCH! Kevin and Pleum were perfection. Their chemistry was insane and it was clear they vibed the second they met. My friend and I had a discussion about why we think they waited 3 years to reunite and was it necessary. I honestly think they both needed that time to grow, they were both just out of highschool and dealing with death and trying to figure out life. They needed to grow up and let's be real their glow-ups were amazing.

Big Dragon. Was never expecting to enjoy it as much as I did. Yai did annoy me a bit because he was a brat, but he was so cute. I loved Mangkorn a lot. I loved that all of Yai's plans backfired and how his biggest enemy turned into the love of his life. Mangkorn on the other hand was just waiting for the right moment to prove himself to be the best choice for Yai because he was in love with him from the beginning. I'M PRAYING S2 IS NOT ABOUT CHEATING AND JEALOUSY!

Honorable Mentions because they're still ongoing:

Between Us. WINTEAM FTW. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND HAVE BEEN WAITING 3 YRS FOR THEM. THE SERIES HAS BEEN DELIVERING FOR ME AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR IT. 10/10.

Gap the Series. Not a BL but a GL. Sam and Mon are clearly vibing but Mon thinks she's still idolizing Sam and can't tell she's falling in love. Sam has an overbearing granny and an appointed male finace who she can't stand because he's male. I'm hoping TeeYuki is still a thing because I want them too.

#thai bl #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #love in the air #love in the air the series #ghost host ghost house #between us #between us the series #gap the series #big dragon #big dragon the series #my ride #my ride the series #triage #triage the series #scoy #secret crush on you #secret crush on you the series

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Love in the Air (2022) - Review

When clouds in the sky and falling rain tease the two close friends in trouble, Rain and Sky, it takes them to meet Payu and Prapai, who are not only cunning saviours but also guys making storms in the two best friends' hearts. The war of love is about to take place in the warm spring, hot summer, lonely autumn and cold winter. How would the atmosphere of love be? Which way would their hearts wave and the air full of love take them to? (via MyDramaList)

Where do I even start with this one? Maybe with the fact that the synopsis only loosely relates to the story you actually get? Or the fact that unless you're a fan of the "pushy rich guy pursues shy/naive younger guy" trope this series definitely isn't for you. I normally don't mind this trope but something about the way it was executed in Love in the Air just rubbed me the entirely wrong way.

The series itself is basically split into two, the first half following the romance between Rain and Payu and the second following Prapai and Sky. In theory that's great especially because there isn't all that much plot that happens so why stretch it out more than necessary but somehow it still manages to fall flat anyway. Mostly because I felt like the writers were only able to write two kinds of main characters--pushy rich guy and naive, somewhat whiny, younger guy. The problem though is that in the first half where we focus on Rain and Payu, Sky is Rain's best friend and is set up as more of a voice of reason, levelheaded, smart and rather confident type of character, which is all fine and good until we switch to Sky's story with Prapai and his character changes entirely. Instead he quickly turns into the same character as we previously saw in the first half from Rain. And while the writers tried to explain that and gave him a very sad backstory that affects him a great deal still (I so dearly hoped that would make him a more interesting and layered character than Rain...it didn't), it still didn't really know how to make that work anyway.

The story between Rain and Payu starts out fun with Payu, as is typical for the trope, being "obsessed" with Rain and trying his darnest to get Rain to become equally as obsessed with him, fall in love with him, and just to play with him. They kind of bond over architecture, since that's Payu's day job and what Rain studies at university, but it's mostly just Rain making a fool of himself trying to get Payu, even though Payu has been his since the start since he'd already had an eye on him before they even met at the beginning of the series. Payu also works as a car mechanic and owns a shop with his brother, and he also works as mechanic for a rich boss and his bikes for illegal street races. I thought the street racing would play a bigger part in the story but besides being used as crutch for the third act drama in Rain and Payu's story, it wasn't all that important, at all. There was some character growth on Rain's part and overall their story was fine and sweet. Nothing too exciting or new, just fine. Visually the actors playing them fit together so that added to the enjoyment of watching them together.

Then we have Sky and Prapai. Their first encounter led to them hooking up and then having no contact for two months after. Much like with Payu, Prapai developed a "obsession" with Sky in that after their hookup he couldn't forget about him and couldn't hookup with anyone else anymore cause he kept on thinking about Sky and their magical encounter. So, perfectly timed, once the RainPayu storyline finished, Prapai asks Rain for Sky's number and their story begins. For most of their story Sky is not interested in being associated with Prapai whatsoever, constantly tells him to leave him alone, rejecting his advances and attempts to bond. (Trigger warning for SA) This is explained by the fact that Sky's previous boyfriend was a illegal racer as well who used Sky as a toy and eventually started to abuse him and ended their relationship by basically allowing his besties to SA Sky for his amusement while telling him just how bored he is of him and how useless he is. Understandably Sky still has horrific nightmares about it and doesn't trust Prapai even if solely because he is a racer as well. And because we're all adults here, no conversation about this happens until the last episode. After Sky gets nearly SAed by his ex once more. (Trigger warning over) How did the writers choose to deal with Sky's obvious trauma? A five minute conversation with Prapai afterward and voila, problem solved. Yeah I don't think so buddy.

As I mentioned before Sky quickly devolves into the same naive and kind of whiny character that Rain was previously, and the amount of times that Prapai touched his head in a way that I know was meant to be tender and sweet yet to me it just came across as almost patronising or like a older brother/father petting their younger brother/kid on the head. Generally I also didn't really feel their chemistry which was a shame.

Overall once the series finished, I was relieved that it was over. There was too little plot to fill 12 episodes despite the material they had and could've used. There were a lot of missed opportunities and some of the behaviours and tropes just drove me up the wall more and more as the story progressed. In short I, as well as Admin 2, did not have a fun time watching this and if it weren't for the fact that we watched it together and commented and laughed at it together, I would've probably not made it past the first or second episode on my own.

I'm really sorry to the person who left a comment that this is their favourite BL but for me/us it was unfortunately a miss.

From Admin 2 - I won't hide the fact that I like BL because there's a lot that's pleasing to the eye, it you know what I mean, and that BL as a whole showed me something I'd previously not seen/gotten from Western media to such an extent when it comes to queer stories. As proud ally I'd glad that we have something like this.

Because of that the first half of this series was fun for me since the actor playing Payu, "Boss" Chaikamon Sermsongwittaya, is really hot and handsome and in the car mechanic uniform with his half tied up hair he just looked wow, for a lack of better word. In contrast with the good university student Rain, they seemed exciting and believable and it was nice to look at them act together. They have chemistry. Their interactions seemed comfortable and looked natural so they weren't embarrassing/uncomfortable to watch which I can't say about Sky and Prapai.

After researching the world of BL I know that pair is very popular as BL ship but personally I don't see it and I'm not a fan. In my eyes they don't fit together and I also felt like both didn't enjoy playing these roles and especially the more intimate scenes. But I only talk about my own thoughts and I don't want to ruin anyones fun or anything. Without that feeling of believability and chemistry between the actors, I can't call the series good even if I thought the plot was good or whatever else. The choice of the actors for the main couples makes up a big portion of the success or failure of a show. Even if there wasn't that chemistry between them in the intimate scenes, it could've been remedied with other scenes that could've made watching more enjoyable overall, but unfortunately the focus was put more on the former and so it wasn't convincing at all to me. From research I also know that some fans have a ranking of best BL kisses that acts as almost like a way to decide whether or not a series was a success or not as a whole, and to me Sky and Prapai wouldn't rank anywhere on that list.

I haven't watched that many BL series yet and maybe my mistake was starting out this journey by watching series that set the bar quite high when it comes to the chemistry between the main pair (KinnPorsche) and now I automatically look for the same level of chemistry in other series and their actors as well. Because in these types of stories the chemistry is an extremely deciding factor.

They touched upon a very deep psychological issue in Love in the Air but it was shown in a very naive way and also acted very naively where Sky's trauma manifests in Sky acting naively like a child. It comes across too cartoony for both the severity of the issue and also his visuals as actor through behaviours. Likewise Prapai who's supposed to be the person to help him "solve" or overcome his trauma didn't convince me either. For me the trauma and issue they tried to touch on exceeded the skills as actors that the two actors have as well as the abilities of the writer. Which is a real shame because they could've done something really interesting with this.

And I agree with Admin 1 that we surely only had fun watching the show because we were watching it together.

#love in the air the series #thai bl #bl drama #bossnoeul #fortpeat #payurain #prapaisky