#i remember when what a catch was still considered this sad farewell even after the hiatus. it would resurface every now and then like that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

queen-ofsunflowers · 3 years

Text

DadWorth AU: Part 3 (Justice For All)

Justice for All has to be one of the angstier parts of this AU, right up there with some ideas I have for Apollo Justice. Especially considering the whole Miles “chooses death” thing. So, let’s dive into it!

< Part 2 | Part 4 >

Reunion, and Turnabout

Things fast forward a couple of months after the end of Rise from the Ashes. Gumshoe’s been taking care of Kay since Miles kind of fucked off. He’s been doing his best, and so are Sebastian and Klavier -- who have been trying to cheer up their third musketeer ever since they found out what happened. But Kay is miserable.

So, now summer break is here for her, Gumshoe decides to take her out to the mountains for the day to get out in nature and hopefully get her mind off of things. Even if it is for a little while.

However, that plan is totally ruined when he gets a call about a murder nearby. He’s the only detective in the area, so they have to go down to Kurain Village to check it out. And that’s where they run into Phoenix for the first time since the end of Rise. Both he and Kay are not doing well in the aftermath of that case, and neither are really sure what to do around each other. Needless to say, the whole interaction is awkward.

Gumshoe does not pick up on this. He asks Phoenix if he could keep an eye on Kay while he takes care of the investigation. After some hesitation and deliberation, Phoenix agrees. So Kay becomes his partner button and Phoenix finally get to interact one-on-one with each other during the investigation for Reunion.

This is the first time they get to do this, since they were either with Maya or Ema on previous cases. It’s still a bit awkward, but when Phoenix finds out that she’s studying to be a defense attorney, things get a little bit easier as they find common ground.

Phoenix unknowingly starting to settle into a mentor role? Yes.

Kay is super turned off by Morgan Fey (getting chills up her spine and a faint memory of Dahlia Hawthorne -- she saw the Fawles trial. Phoenix also gets the same vibes from her.) And is surprisingly good with Pearl.

Her reaction to learning that Franziska is the prosecutor for this case catches Phoenix’s attention. Kay hasn’t heard from Franziska outside of a few text messages to check in on her over the past few months, so the fact that she’s in the country and Kay’s only finding out about it now makes her wonder what’s going on.

Kay goes to meet with Maya at the detention center with Phoenix, and kind of gets overly excited when she sees that Maya is channeling Mia because if you remember, she looked up Mia. Mia was an idol for her. So getting to meet her -- even if it is through spirit channeling -- is the highlight of her week.

And then we get to the trial. Phoenix asks Kay if she wants to stand co-counsel and Kay immediately jumps at the chance to say yes. So this is technically her first trial (she’s excited for it, but a little bit sad that Miles isn’t there to see her). Franziska, on the other hand, is surprised that Kay is standing at the defense’s bench with Phoenix Wright, leading to a lot of things including seeing Kay as a traitor (reason why will be explained later.)

So, Kay stands in for Pearl as co-counsel. As a result, her spirit channeling abilities are not revealed until much later. In the second trial day, she’s not present due to Gumshoe’s intervention and keeping her busy (something which Pearl agrees to so long as Kay and Phoenix get Maya a Not Guilty).

The investigation moments are full of small bonding moments between Phoenix and Kay as they get to know each other a bit better.

So, Team Wright-Faraday get a Not Guilty verdict as promised. Kay’s super proud of herself for managing to do this and it puts her on cloud nine. Franziska only believes that Phoenix won because he had a semi-competent co-counsel with him (Aunt Fran starting to show that she’s proud of Kay a little bit, but is still incredibly pissed that she lost.) Overall, she isn’t sure how to feel about Kay in that moment, and it all comes down to one simple reason:

This is the first time Kay has smiled in months. Everyone who knows her is relieved to see it back.

After the case is closed, Maya does thank Kay for helping and Kay in return does try to cheer her up after the whole “morgan stabbed maya in the back” thing starts to settle in. Am I saying Maya and Kay friendship? Maya and Kay friendship. It starts here.

So, things are starting to look a little bit better for Kay.

The Lost Turnabout

It’s not... Kay’s not involved in this one. Teenage shenanigans happen here as the new school year at Themis starts up.

The first day of school is always pretty easy, but it gets pretty depressing for Kay when one of her professors decides a good idea to break the ice by talking about some of the more ridiculous things that have happened in court cases. It gets the class laughing, and isn’t a bad idea...

Unfortunately for Kay, though, the professor also brings up a certain defense attorney cross-examining a parrot. The memory of that trial brings up a whole lot of feelings for Kay and she just kind of falls quiet for the rest of the day.

But luckily, Klavier and Sebastian have known Kay for a year now, and they realize something’s wrong. So they (primarily Klavier, since he instigates the whole thing) decide to do something about it and distract her. Here is where teenage shenanigans come about.

Just wholesome fun with what is slowly becoming a favorite chaotic trio that ends with everyone collapsed on a couch with an old movie playing in the background. ...and possibly a few appearances from other characters. Who knows?

Kay only finds out about Phoenix’s trial after the fact from Maya, and she’s not sure whether to be impressed that Phoenix managed to do all that with amnesia or laugh about it. She decides to do both.

Turnabout Big Top

It all starts with Phoenix going from ace attorney to ace babysitter as he’s in charge of four teenagers and one small child. Over the past few months, he’s gotten acquainted with Klavier and Sebastian as well, especially after the trio used the Wright & Co. Law Offices as their own personal hangout spot to get homework done and hide out when needed (thank you Kay).

The only reason Kay is brought on as co-counsel for this case is because a: its winter break so she doesn’t have school to worry about and b: the time frame is the same as when Miles was arrested the year prior. If Phoenix is having a rough time, then so is Kay. Especially since this will also be her first birthday since the whole incident. She’s also at Wright & Co. for the same reason when Maya calls up with the case.

This case is not the best distraction for Kay, but at least its something. Lesson learned: as a lawyer, you gotta take the good with the frustrating. Things get worse with Franziska prosecuting again. Kay still doesn’t get what’s up with her and why she’s still getting called a traitor.

The boys are also in on this case because why not, though they don’t stand as co-counsel but rather just help with the investigation. Because we all know that Kristoph and Blaise wouldn’t agree to them standing on the defense’s side, one more than the other.

Kay openly admitting to getting a headache while trying to figure out what the heck is actually going on during the first trial day. She grew up with the Master of Logic himself, so trying to make sense of this without all the information is making her head run in circles. But she’s not going to give up.

It’s revealed when Franziska confronts Phoenix & Co. outside of the lodging house later that day that the reason Franziska calls Kay a traitor is that she deliberately is siding with the man responsible for Miles’s “death”, something that she never thought Kay would do.

Kay never blames Phoenix for what happened to Miles. She mostly blames Gant (and von Karma somewhat) for it. They were the ones who pushed him, not Phoenix. So, when Franziska openly blames Phoenix for what happened, Kay gets pretty pissed.

When Phoenix and Maya continue their investigation, Kay goes to confront Franziska on that matter and just goes off. Months of bottled up emotions just kind of explode outward, and Franziska is the unfortunate target of it all. This blow-up is also the first time that Kay refers to Miles as her dad. Which hits pretty hard. Franziska starts regretting a few choices she’s made today. Klavier and Sebastian pull her away as she starts to break down.

So they just... let her cry it out in the circus’s cafeteria. They end up being the ones who find out about the incident with the lion (once Kay’s calmed down) rather that Phoenix and Maya. The story has them racing over to them, catching the duo just as they’re about to enter Acro’s room and things go about pretty much the same way they do canonically from there.

The next day is a bit hard, and its easy to pick up on the tension between Kay and Franziska here. Taking a page out of the anime, Kay, Klavier, a reluctant Sebastian and Maya recreating the crime for the entire court. She does feel bad about having to indict Acro, though, due to the circumstances surrounding everything.

Kay does a pretty good job, something which Gumshoe relays as a message to her, at the end of the trial, much to her surprise. Who else would be proud of her is something that she wants to know.

Meanwhile, Miles Edgeworth wonders how he’s going to tell his daughter that he’s still alive upon his return to the country. (and yes, he was the one who told gumshoe to tell kay that he was proud of her)

Farewell, My Turnabout

So, Kay at this point still doesn’t know that Miles is alive. He wants to get everything settled before he makes any grand reveals to anyone. He’s also still trying to figure out how to do it since that wasn’t supposed to happen. Kay wasn’t supposed to think he was dead. He told her that he was leaving, sure, but Kay was also half-asleep when he did. So, misunderstandings~

Meanwhile, Phoenix takes the girls (Maya, Pearl and Kay) to the Hero of Heroes Grand Prix. Kay’s gotten decently close to the members of Wright & Co. over the past few months, that much is clear by now.

Kay gets upset about Corrida’s murder because ya know. Jammin’ Ninja fan. She hopes that Engrade gets locked away for doing it. Maya thinks she just doesn’t like the Nickel Samurai, which isn’t that far off. Kay just doesn’t like Engarde thanks to reading Klavier’s tabloid magazines. She never gets to explain the contents of those magazines, though. Phoenix finds out about them later.

Things take a sharp turn when Maya is called to the front desk to answer her “call”. Kay goes with Maya because ya know. Buddy system. (”girls don’t let each other go anywhere alone, nick!” “*sigh* i will never understand teenagers...”) i think. you know. where this about to go--

So, yeah. Kay gets kidnapped alongside Maya. She puts up a pretty decent fight against de Killer (look at the people she was around growing up, Kay probably does know a little self-defense), but in the end, she still gets ‘napped. And so, Phoenix has to defend Engarde or the two girls will “disappear”.

Things are made worse, as Phoenix is accosted by two teenage boys who can’t get in touch with their third musketeer who didn’t show up for school that day. He’s just trying to do his job, but Klavier and Sebastian are really stubborn and will not leave him alone.

And everything gets worse when Miles makes his grand revival. And then is made the prosecutor for this case. So, Phoenix is not having a very good week at all.

Phoenix and Gumshoe are doing the best to keep the fact that the girls are being held hostage from Edgeworth and the boys. Emphasis on try. All three know that there’s something going on, but they can’t figure out what.

Meanwhile, Kay and Maya are in a wine cellar. Kay has tried several times to break down the door, but it hasn’t worked. de Killer took their phones, so they have no way of contacting the outside. They’re screwed unless they can escape.

Maya realizes that they do have a way to contact the outside and uses her spirit channeling powers to contact Mia, and with Kay’s help manages to explain what’s going on and giving a message to Mia to give to Phoenix.

So, Pearl finally reveals her spirit channeling powers. It freaks Phoenix out at first, but he gets over it quickly because at this point, he’s kind of used to Fey Family Weirdness.

The first part of the trial goes on as pretty much the same as it did before. Afterwards, Phoenix does his best to keep the fact that the girls are kidnapped from Miles because he’s gonna flip the fuck out. And he fails. And Miles kind of does flip out.

So, de Killer and Engarde (more so de Killer because he did his research, he knows the connection with Kay that Edgeworth has) have two pawns to work with and dangle over both the prosecution and defense. And now Edgeworth has two assistants on his side: Sebastian and Klavier, who don’t want to see Kay hurt. However, as future prosecutors, they can’t do much to help Phoenix. So, they help out with the investigation (and using the excuse as this being extra credit for anyone who asks why there are two teenagers here.)

On the other side, Maya and Kay break out of the room they were locked in thanks to a card Maya finds. Things go about as well as they do canonically, but with more struggle. Kay makes a fucking mess trying to defend herself and Maya from de Killer, which will later show the police that something definitely went down here (and concerning the heck out of a good handful of people in the process).

Kay may not know the truth about the Yatagarasu yet, but she sure is acting like the Yatagarasu.

The investigation goes about as well as you expect it to. Klavier and Sebastian are doing their best, but they can’t do much since they’re still only students. And Miles is worried as hell for Kay and ends up wanting to tear Engarde apart. Klavier is right to not like Engarde, as was Kay earlier.

When the trial starts up again, you have both the prosecution, the defense and a few members of the gallery nervous as hell. Gumshoe is doing his best to find the girls, but Miles and Phoenix still need to stall for time.

They do their best, but things are going about as well as they do canonically with Edgeworth being more on edge due to Kay being in danger. And the last time he saw her was when he left. So, he wants to be able to reconcile with her.

Things go on much like they do in canon. The note, Gumshoe’s accident, etc. Mia’s with Kay, doing her best to help, but she’s not sure what more she can do because the girls are weak and tired from being held captive for so long.

More worry on both parts.

When de Killer threatens to kill Maya and Kay when Edgeworth and Phoenix press him and try to get more time, Miles is also there to beg him to leave them alone. This is also the first time that Miles openly refers to Kay as his daughter.

Not much is different there out. They manage to expose Engarde as the asshole that he is, the girls are released and Engarde is declared guilty.

The scene with Franziska at the airport and Phoenix giving Miles the whip takes place a bit earlier, as that’s where Miles goes first before going to meet with Kay. Because he’s still trying to figure out how he’s going to talk to Kay again.

Phoenix and the others meet Maya and Kay at the hospital (Kay and Maya were held captive without much food or water for about three days, and Kay has a few minor injuries from de Killer, so they do need medical attention). Maya has a tearful reunion with Mia (as channeled by Pearl), and Kay gets tackled by her friends on both sides.

And then Miles Edgeworth walks into the room a short while later and Kay does not know what to say. She thought that he was dead for over a year, and a lot of things start bubbling to the surface. She starts tearing up because she thought she would never see Miles again, and he with her.

As soon as he gets close enough, Kay hugs him and calls him stupid in a couple different ways. Miles accepts it and apologizes for making her worry. He promises not to vanish like that again, and returns the promise that Kay made in part 2: to not keep secrets from her again.

So, what they didn’t get at the end of part 2, Miles and Kay finally get at the end of JfA: a chance to actually rebuild and reconcile their relationship without anything getting in the way.

So Justice for All ends on a pretty good note.

That may be the end of Justice for All, but it’s not the end of the story. There are still more ripples to come and fun shenanigans.

#ace attorney #ace attorney au #kay faraday #dick gumshoe #phoenix wright #maya fey #pearl fey #franziska von karma #miles edgeworth #sebastian debeste #klavier gavin #dadworth au #kay edgeworth au #queen speaks

58 notes · View notes

bonjour-rainycity · 3 years

Text

Double Heart | Chapter Eleven ~ Cosima

|previous part|

Pairing: Haldir x OFC

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 4471

Warnings: None

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**

A/n Hello hello, happy Easter! Tomorrow (Monday) is a little bit hectic for me so I’m getting this one out tonight (Sunday) instead. Thanks for reading :)

After a quick breakfast with Haldir and Glorfindel, they set off and I spend the day exploring Imladris. I do not stray far from the main household, yet all that I discover does not cease to amaze me. Elrond’s home is beautiful. If it weren’t for all the horrible, sudden drop-offs, I would consider it a perfectly wonderful place to live.

I spend the first part of my day in the garden. Behind the stone of the estate is a sprawling field filled with an impossibly wide variety of flora. I pass time exploring each bush, tree, and sprout, every one somehow more beautiful than the last. A few of the more sweet-smelling blossoms make me sneeze, so after a while, I head back inside to explore Elrond’s extensive library. But when the sun begins to sink below the horizon, I know I shouldn’t put it off any longer — I have ignored him since our arrival. I need to go see Alex. We haven’t talked in private ever, really, but I feel like we need to touch base. Though we may be slightly at odds, we owe it to each other to work through it.

I remember an attendant leading him down the hallway below mine as I ascended the stairs last night, and from there, it’s not hard for me to figure out which room is his. All the other doors are open, indicating that the inhabitants are out for the day. Already in my short stay here, I realize the elves are much more trusting than humans — while private, they must rely on each other to respect that privacy, because they don’t attempt to bar others from entering their spaces by closing their doors when they are not home. One door at the very end of the hall is closed shut. It is undoubtedly Alex’s.

I knock once.

He opens the door and I try to disguise my shock at the dark circles under his eyes and his disheveled hair. In all my memories of him, he is so put together, and this is completely at odds with the man I think I know. He ushers me in and shuts the door quickly behind me. The slam echoes through the stone room. He turns to me, wringing his hands together almost nervously. Unease grows in my stomach.

“Are you okay?”

He shakes his head violently and begins to pace the length of the small bedroom. “Of course I’m not okay. We’ve been wrenched from all that we know and dropped in this ridiculous place—” He cuts off his words and stares at the ground, shaking his head. “Look, I’ve decided that there’s no way around it. We are in some sort of other world — there’s no way this is some place back where we’re from. But if we did arrive here somehow, that means there has to be a way back. So we need to find it.”

I sit on the edge of his bed, watching him warily. I, too, have recently accepted the reality of this new world, but I hadn’t expected Alex to come around so easily — especially after our conversations on the way here. But getting home…if it’s a real possibility…”Do you think we could do that?”

His eyes snap to mine, desperation causing them to blow wide. “I think Elrond could. The people here hold him in such high esteem—I believe he’s very powerful. We need to talk to him, plead our case. If anyone could send us back, it’s probably him.” He notices my silence and turns on me with an accusatory stare. “You do want to go home, right?”

I swallow. “I…I think so. I mean, it is really dangerous here….But Elrond had a good point when I talked to him earlier. He said it’s probably just as dangerous in our homeworld.”

He groans almost animalistically. “I cannot keep having this fight with you! We don’t belong here. The dangers of our world are ours and the dangers of this world are theirs. And just because we agree that this is a different world doesn’t mean that anything’s changed. We still have people back home who miss us.”

But after my conversation with Haldir, I’m not so sure that’s the case. Yes, there are probably people who miss us in the usual sense, but the crushing grief that must come from being separated from someone you really, truly care for…I’m not sure I have that. I think I would know if I did.

I try to redirect the subject, not wanting to get into it with Alex. “How do you think it would work? Getting home. Do you think we would get our memories back?”

He stops pacing, excitement entering his eyes now that I’m seemingly more agreeable to his position. “Yeah, I think we would. Now, does that mean we would lose the memories we’ve made here? Maybe. Probably. Again, I think Elrond has the answers.”

I let my eyes fall to my fingers. The thought of forgetting…of basically erasing my time here, the friendships I’ve made…it makes me feel horribly sad. I drop my head into my hands. Oh, I just don’t know what to do!

“Let’s go talk to Elrond,” Alex urges. “See what he has to say.”

“Okay,” I agree, trudging to the door. At the very least, it will provide a distraction from the grief that has hit me so unexpectedly. “He’s probably in his study—follow me.”

I lead Alex along the same route I took this morning. Only, then, Haldir was at my side. I feel a pang of loneliness. Huh. After two weeks in constant company, I guess it is a little strange to be separated from him and the others.

As this morning, Elrond is in his study, surrounded by books and stacks of parchment. Stress tugs at the edges of his eyes but when he raises his head to greet us, it fades into a look of knowing. He was expecting us.

“Ah,” he stands, beckoning for us to enter. “I was wondering when I would be seeing you. Please, come in. I believe we have much to discuss.”

Alex strides forward, a stubborn set to his shoulders. He wastes no time. “How do we get back home?”

Elrond raises a thoughtful eyebrow, leading us to an auxiliary room with plushy chairs and couches. I sit on an unoccupied cushion. “What makes you so sure you can?”

Alex huffs. “If we got here, we can get back. Somehow, there’s a link between the worlds. We just need to find it and use it to get home.”

Elrond nods, appraising my friend. Unexpectedly, he turns his head to me. “And you, Cosima? Do you think there is a way home?”

I open my mouth, but no words come out. I close it, looking at the ground to buy myself some time. What are the possibilities? What are the chances? … And what am I hoping for? “I…I think Alex is probably right. Doors open both ways, right? If it opened to send us here, it can open to send us back. But we don’t know how easy it is to open that door.”

A sparkle enters Elrond’s eye. “Humans often do not get enough credit for their intelligence, nor their tenacity. Yes, I agree that there should be a way for the two of you to return to your homeworld. Power in Arda is changing. Forces of evil grow and the wisdom of the elves must adapt to overcome it. There is a finite amount of power in this world, and with it being pulled in so many different directions, it is possible it has grown thin in its blanket over our universe. The two of you could have fallen between the cracks.”

I look at the wall, not able to withstand Elrond’s piercing gaze or Alex’s frenzied one. If there is a real possibility of going home…isn’t it my duty to try?

Something in Elrond’s words catches my attention. “If the dispersion of that finite amount of power is constantly changing…is it possible that the ‘crack’ that let us in has already closed? Or moved somewhere else? If we tried to go back, isn’t there a chance we would end up in some other world?”

Elrond’s mouth sets into a grave line. “Precisely. There is a great deal of risk involved in your endeavor to return to your world.”

“But you can help us?” Alex speaks in a rough, desperate voice.

Elrond shakes his head, expression regretful. “I have power, yes, but not in the way you seek. If someone were able to help you—and bear in mind, it is a strong ‘if’—it would be Lady Galadriel. I believe you have heard of her through your companions?”

Alex grits his teeth, standing and beginning to pace a furious line. “Are you positive there is nothing you can do? It took two weeks to get here and that wasn’t even the whole journey. We do not have time to wait for them to decide to return to Lothlórien and then make the trip there. That could set us back months.”

“With regret, I am unable to help. My skill lies in healing and languages—academia, really. My power cannot compare to that of the Lady. I am sorry.”

I hate myself a little for it, but I feel relieved. The choice is taken from me. For the time being, all I can do is wait. Lady Galadriel might be able to help us, yes, but it will be at least two months before I have to make the choice to attempt to return home or not.

Alex evidently doesn’t feel the same way, and I don’t like the way he’s glaring at Elrond. I try to smooth things over. “Thank you for speaking with us and trying to help. We’ll let you get back to your work.” I stand, bowing my head in farewell as I’ve seen the elves here do. Alex makes no move to follow me. I prompt him with his name. He keeps his jaw tightly clenched but does incline his head towards Elrond before stalking from the room.

I have to jog to catch up. “Alex—“

“Entertain yourself, Cosima. I want to be alone.”

I take a step back. It’s not his words that stun me, it’s the grief in them. He sounds like he’s being torn apart.

Whereas I feel relief and, if I’m being honest with myself, no small amount of happiness.

I think I’m a bad person.

But I can do one good thing, and that’s grant Alex his wish to handle his feelings in private. I step forward, give him a quick, awkward hug, and let him walk away.

{***}

After lunchtime, there’s a knock on my door. I open it to the grinning faces of Rumil, Orophin, and Lavandil.

Laughing at their enthusiasm, I wave them in, grateful for the seating area in my bedroom — it makes hosting quite convenient.

Rumil whistles lowly, taking a look around. “Look at how they’ve set you up! I’ve got to share with Haldir which is just as terrible as it sounds. He says I snore! I do not snore.” He looks so offended, I don’t have the heart to tell him that he occasionally does.

Lavandil runs her hand over one of the gossamer curtains, eyeing the view. “I love these falls. You don’t seem them as well back where I grew up—that’s partly why I moved to the main city. They’re wonderful, no?”

Even though I’m not a fan of their height, I can definitely agree to their splendor. “Oh, absolutely. After days of the plains and rocks, it’s so nice to have a change of scenery.”

Rumil pours himself a glass of water and reclines on the chaise. “So, where have you been off to today? Baranor and I came looking for you this morning but you weren’t here.”

I blink. I figured Rumil would know, given he shares a room with the brother who collected me. “Haldir took me this morning to see Elrond about my arm. See?” I hold it up to present the thin, raised scar. “All healed. It’s miraculous, really, how it healed within minutes. And then Glorfindel, Haldir, and I had breakfast in the kitchens because I guess we missed the main meal, and then the two of them took off for the borders. I explored for a bit and then—” I falter. Should I tell them about my meeting with Alex and Elrond? Silly, I admonish myself. You didn’t do anything wrong. Still, it feels strange to admit to them that I had been seeking a way home—a way to leave them, essentially. But there’s no good reason to keep it hidden, so I brush aside my hesitation. “I talked to Alex, and then he and I went to visit Elrond.”

“About your home,” Orophin guesses, gravity in his voice.

“Yes,” I admit.

Rumil gapes, evidently caught off-guard, and I shoot him an apologetic look. Yeah, that hurts.

“We wanted to know if getting home is even a possibility. And, well, jury’s still out. But Elrond thinks if someone can help us, it will be Lady Galadriel. So…” I shrug.

A twinkle enters Rumil’s eye and he sits forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So you’re returning to Lothlórien with us?” All traces of hurt have disappeared from his features.

I can’t help but grin at his excitement. “Yes—if you’ll have us.”

“Of course we will!” He beams, sitting back into the chaise with a new air of relaxation. “I mean, Haldir has the final say of course, but he’ll say yes. He might not like Alex, but he has grown quite fond of you.”

Each ellyn suddenly seems very interested in scrutinizing my face. I feel my cheeks heat under the weight of their stares and try to disguise it by standing and filling a glass of water. “I’ve grown fond of all of you, too.”

Rumil presses further. “Yes, but if you had to pick one—someone you’re the most fond of—who would that be?”

Orophin chuckles and Lavandil bites her lower lip, looking up at me with interest. I take a sip of the water, trying to buy myself time. This feels like a trap. I get around it as best I can. “Roch, of course. I miss him already.”

This sends them into fits of laughter and evidently puts their curiosity to rest — for the time being. I return to my seat, lounging along with them. When the sky begins to darken, Orophin requests dinner to be brought to us and we talk into the late hours of the night enjoying good food and even better company. And, though I am sure to feel guilty about it later, I do not miss Alex or my home at all.

{***}

Despite my full belly and long day, sleep eludes me. Part of that is my fault—I hold myself back from drifting off, not wanting to have another nightmare. When it must be at least midnight, I give up tossing and turning and change back into my day clothes. I didn’t spend near enough time wandering the garden or the library — perhaps I can tire myself with some exploring. As silently as possible, I push open the creaking door and step into the hallway.

It’s surprisingly bright — I’ve caught the moon when it’s high in the sky, and tonight it is full and robust in its shine. Light dances atop the ever-flowing water, creating a sparkling effect that leaves me breathless. Once again, I find myself glad that I have more time here. Though part of me feels like I should want to return home, another part of me isn’t near ready to leave. There’s so much more to see and learn and…well, I’m not ready to give up my new friends.

I go slowly down the open-air corridor, trying to keep my noise to a minimum. The household is asleep, for the most part. I see the odd attendant bustling around finishing duties, but the night is quiet and peaceful. It’s too beautiful to pass time away inside, so I elect to go back to the gardens and just avoid the blossoms that sent me into a sneezing fit earlier today.

The gardens are at the back of the estate and I do my best to remember the path I took this morning. With so many pavilions and archways and hallways and staircases, it’s easy to get lost. But all hallways—sooner or later—lead outside. So, after minutes of unsuccessfully trying to retrace my path, I choose a hallway at random, deciding to follow it to its end.

Further down, warm light flickers and ebbs—candlelight. As I get closer, I catch a voice I know well. He speaks in hurried, hushed tones in the Elvish language—arguing, maybe? Or just having a rushed discussion? A vaguely familiar voice responds in the same manor. Abruptly, the sounds cut off.

I take a few steps forward, the two figures becoming visible in the limited light.

“Haldir?” Squinting, I realize why I sort-of recognized the other voice—it belongs to Glorfindel. The two turn to me, each dipping their head in welcome.

Glorfindel looks perplexed. “Hello, Cosima. Do humans not require much sleep?”

I laugh guiltily. “No, they do — probably more than elves if we’re basing it on my traveling companions. I just couldn’t sleep so I was trying to find the gardens.”

Haldir steps out of the doorway and turns to Glorfindel. “Ah, I should be letting you get to bed, mellon.” He gives a nod of farewell to his elven friend. “We will continue our discussion tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes.” Glorfindel waves off Haldir’s stern look and moves to shut his door. “Goodnight.”

Haldir and I are alone in the hallway.

He clears his throat. “Would you like company?”

I smile, gesturing in the direction of what I hope is the outdoors. “Sure. You’re not tired after being gone all day?”

He shrugs, clasping his hands behind his back as he walks. “Tired, yes. Though my mind is not yet ready for sleep.”

“Was it a long day, then?”

Haldir sighs, and the sound is so weighed down with exhaustion and sadness that I nearly stop and insist we both go to bed. Sleep might make him feel better. But he is an adult and so am I, and neither of us really wants to sleep. So I say nothing and wait for him to explain.

“Much of Elrond’s border patrol is young. I worry they are unprepared for the increase in attacks. The conversation you heard—Glorfindel and I were disagreeing. I think it is worth advising Elrond to send his more experienced fighters to the borders and allow the newer ones to use this time to train. Glorfindel thinks calling the entire army is an overreaction and that I am overstepping my bounds. And he is right. I am captain of the Lady’s guard, not Lord Elrond’s. Still, I cannot help but believe it is worth interfering in this way — I think it could save lives, help Imladris be more prepared.” He looks at the ground, shaking his head. “I am sorry. I don’t need to be bothering you with this.”

“No, it’s alright.” I chuckle ruefully. “You’ve seen me cry so many times, you’ve earned the right to talk about whatever you want.”

He smiles and gives me a side-eye. “I’ll admit, while your tears used to perplex me, I think I am more accustomed to them by now.”

I roll my eyes and make a conscious effort not to be offended. “Great.”

He gives me an apologetic look, but mirth dances in his eyes. I turn the conversation back on him. “So what are you going to do?”

He sighs slowly, turning the corner into an adjacent hallway. “I will continue discussing it with Glorfindel tomorrow — it would be ideal to have him on my side. But if not, I plan to go to Elrond. I’d rather cause offense than withhold strategies that could save lives.”

I nod, agreeing. “Hopefully Glorfindel will see your side, and if he doesn’t, at least Elrond. I can’t imagine he would disagree — Elrond doesn’t seem like the type of man to choose pride over lives.”

“Ellon,” Haldir corrects gently.

I turn over my shoulder so he can see the begrudging look I give him. “Ellon.”

Haldir smiles almost smugly and we step from stone to lush grass. We’ve come out on the side of the estate — the garden is in the back. Thankfully, Haldir seems to know where to go. We curve our path left.

It’s a bit humid and I can feel my hair already reacting. I bring a hand to the back of my head, attempting to smooth the frizz. “Speaking of Elrond, Alex and I went to see him today — Did Rumil tell you?”

Haldir shakes his head but gives me a look that shows he’s not surprised — he guessed Alex and I would ask Elrond about getting home.

I continue, feeling a tad nervous. Rumil said Haldir wouldn’t object to our returning with him, and I don’t think he would…but what if he does? I don’t think I’d be able to keep myself from taking it personally.

I twist the fingers of my right hand into the fabric of my dress. “Um, Elrond mentioned that if anyone can help us get home, it would be Lady Galadriel. So—if it’s alright with you, of course—I—we—would like to return home with you. To Lothlórien.” I add, perhaps unnecessarily.

Haldir stops walking and turns to me, blinking once. Dread seizes in my chest. Oh no.

But his lips twitch and I realize he’s fighting a smile. “Lothlórien would be happy to host you, and I would be honored to escort you back.”

I beam, feeling nearly giddy with relief. Haldir relaxes and a hesitant smile brightens his face. The movement causes moonlight to reflect in his eyes. It sets them alight. I can’t believe I used to think them cold towards me — they are anything but. Guarded and suspicious at times, yes, but never cold. Not now that he’s gotten to know me, anyway. Instead, they are soft, gentle. And, exactly as Rumil had said, fond.

“Thank you.”

He inclines his head in that formal way of his, and the softness never leaves his eyes. He resumes his steps, leading us around the corner and into the labyrinthine garden.

I sneeze.

And again.

Haldir sputters out a ridiculous laugh, the sound so carefree and wild that I almost don’t mind having to sneeze to hear it.

“You’re allergic,” he accuses, gesturing to the flowers to our right.

I shrug, trying to ignore the tickling in my nose. “Just to some of them. Come on, I found an area earlier that’s not so bad.”

Haldir chuckles and shakes his head but follows me through the gardens. “Why did you want to come here if it just makes you sneeze?”

“Because it’s beautiful,” I answer simply. Because sometimes, that’s enough.

I find the alcove I discovered this morning and sit on the stone bench there, scooting over to make room for Haldir. He sits next to me, stretching out his long legs. Looking up at the sky, I can see stars through the wooden, flower-filled lattice that hangs above us. I sigh, finding the sight of the sky sobering. “Do you know how I finally realized I was in another world?”

Haldir shakes his head, waiting for me to continue.

“The stars,” I murmur. “In almost every memory I have, I’m looking at the stars. I know their patterns, how they move with the seasons, the names of each constellation. I watched them my whole life. But that night in the plains—when you came looking for me by the river—I looked up and realized that I don’t know these stars. They’re not in the right order or in the proper places. And I knew, even if I wasn’t ready to accept it, that these aren’t the stars of my world.”

Haldir tilts his head to the side, watching me in silence. He twitches as if to move and then tenses, looking uncertain. But after a moment he sets his jaw and, in one fluid motion, stands and removes his cloak, laying it on the ground. He offers me a hesitant smile as he sits—the expression so at odds with his usual confidence that I half-gape at him in disbelief. He reclines slowly, leaving room for me to do the same.

I press my lips against a smile even though I can feel that I’m losing the battle. Okay. I rise from the bench and, taking great care not to step on Haldir’s fingers, lay down next to him.

The thick fabric of his cloak mitigates the coolness of the ground and I stretch out, feeling my back resting on the firm surface of the earth. Though we slept near each other outside every night for two weeks, there were more people, then. We were farther apart. Now, we are alone and, due to the width of the cloak, there is only a sliver of space between us. If I moved my arm even slightly to the right, it would touch his.

When he finally speaks, his voice is quiet, gentle, and rumbles deep in his chest. “I have been watching these stars for centuries. They will become familiar to you, too. You only have to spend time with them.”

So I do.

Haldir and I lay on his cloak staring at the stars for hours. We don’t say much, only periodically mentioning something about our days or asking the other if they’re comfortable or cold. The newness of our proximity never fades, and I find myself hyper-aware of the warmth on the side of my body that nearly touches his. There’s a desire in me—something new and strange—to close that space between us, to rest my head on his chest and feel his arms hold me. I fight it, attempting to focus on what’s above me instead. He doesn’t seem to be struggling like I am.

At some point, I must slip into sleep. When Haldir gently nudges my shoulder, there’s a touch of early light in the sky. He smiles softly, offers me a hand up, and walks me to my room in silence. My efforts and sleep deprivation have left me exhausted. I barely remember climbing into bed and immediately fall back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

A/n Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs make me smile <3 Let me know if you’d like a tag!

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart Tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

62 notes · View notes

friedloverherringfarm · 3 years

Text

The loss of your cat Dear readers, losing your cat is devastating. Meanwhile some people don’t really understand that. Considering they may either never experienced it or they may have a rock as a heart. When our cat dies we can’t stop our tears because such an event we do not expect, we do not think of it, never. But it happens. Whether it was an accident, whether it was a disease. Animals can’t live as much as us humans. And it is a fact, we cannot hope it will live longer than it already has. And I am sorry, I know it is hard and dramatic and that you have your mindset that you were the cause of its death, I know that you feel responsible for what happened, I know exactly what you feel. I have experienced it and it is really devastating and it hurts more than anything, because we grew fond of them and we grew closer to each other every day. And actually I never let it go because there are moments that come out of the surface when I least expect it, reminding me of how much I cherished it. If there is something I regret is not spending more time with it even though we shared a room and a bed and the air together for 3 years. I regret not hugging her more, kissing her, telling her how much I loved her. The difference between me and my cat and others with their cat is that my cat didn’t come towards but I was, and even if I knew she didn’t like me to take her in my arms I still did it because I loved how warm she felt and soft her felt on my skin, and not to forget her smell, I really loved to kiss her on her head, sometimes even biting her cute ears while calling her sweetheart, it may sound a little bit cringe sorry I just really loved it. As well my hands and my shoulders were always scratched by it but I didn’t mind it as long it didn’t hurt to the point I’ll cry. Even though my parents said to me to stop it scratches you because she hates you or something, I knew better than anyone she didn’t, she just needed to make sure she did not fall and I understood it. When it was scratching me it was never with hate and I could feel it. By the way, I got this cat as my seventeenth birthday gift. I was really happy because I really wanted a cat from a long time ago. And for the first time I fell in love with it, I wanted to take care of it and the feeling of protecting it was invading me. This is the moment I felt like I became a whole new person, I grew in myself a motherly affection and I really kept it until the very end. This cat not only brought me joy but also made me a better person, brought me confidence and love. Since I was in my first year of high school, I started to encounter hardships and was very depressed by my results and this little being just gave me the strength at the right time, helping me to seize myself, to not let myself fall. And already the next year I was getting better results. I was progressing because I had someone to keep company. Don’t get me wrong I had my parents by my side too but the real helper was my cat. And in my last year of high school, I may have been down many times because I still did encounter hardships at school but my cat always helped me, always made me feel better, the strength she gave me was amazing. Each day I felt and really did felt she grew to love my company too which by the way the best feeling you can get. Finally the day, but before a week before, I was working hard because I had exams coming and my cat was by my side, all good. And the day before my exams, it happened. When I was finally feeling that everything was working perfectly, even my relationship with my parents was doing really great, my revision was good too, I felt really confident actually and my cat grew closer to me. That day I was feeling happy, there always been days similar but not the same I had days when I felt maybe about seventeen percent happy but the rest I still had worries, though that day I had zero worries and I could imagine myself at ninety or ninety nine percent happy and this was truly a first since my careless childhood. But you know it when everything feels too right something bad happens. Just after I was finally revising for the last time, and went to have a sleep break along with my cat. After sometime my cat wants to go out so I wake up mid sleepy and open her the door. Usually I would take her in my arms, kiss her head while inhaling her smell and even calling her sweetheart and telling her at least once that I love her but that day I felt sleepy from the whole week of revision so I can’t forgive myself that I didn’t do it. Anyway I knew I would see her again later so I went back into my bed and fell dead asleep. After two minutes my heart just doesn't feel right but I don’t wake up. One hour later I wake up, I go downstairs to eat a sandwich and from the kitchen's window I see my mother talking to someone I don’t mind and keep eating. My mom comes to the kitchen and tells me with a sad tone “Sweetheart, I have bad news” my heart already starts to break and I ask her right away “What?” She tells me then that my cat died and that my neighbors happened to see it and they brought her to us liveless. I stood up from the chair and ran towards the garden throwing my sandwich on the grass, my mind was blank and I started to shout Where is she Where is she. My mom appears and points with a finger. I spot her, laying on the grass, not like she always does when she enjoys the sun but like a being lifeless. I’m breaking into tears. I can’t control my sadness. My baby, my happiness is gone. An hour ago I was sleeping alongside in my bed and then the next moment I saw it dead. I started to caress see if her paws wouldn’t move. Maybe she was still alive but nothing. Her eyes were open but she wasn’t answering even if I touched her tail. I knew she didn’t like it. After crying until I couldn’t anymore, I went to my parents and told them that we needed to bury her. I didn’t want her to be like the dead cats left on the left side of the road lifeless and starting to fade. My dad agreed to come with me, he is the one who made the hole and I was the one who put her in. First I said my farewells, I held her in my arms and told her how much I loved her and kissed her on her head for the last time. My hands trembling. I put her in the hole and left so my dad could bury her. The day I felt the happiest became the worst day of my life, I felt guilty for a long period and was completely at loss of appetite and everyday I would look at her pictures and saying each time “I will never forget you” The reason why I came to reveal everything here is because I don’t want people who experienced the same tragedy to feel lonely, I want to call a community that will warm up and help those people to regain strength bit by bit. At first it feels hard to reveal everything and every memory of it hurts but trust me sometimes saying it out loud it heals you much more than hiding it in your room or under that fake smile you would put everyday so no one asks you what is the matter with you. I used to think that I would look powerless if I said it and if I expressed my sadness openly. It is alright to express our feelings. We are beings with emotions too. It is ok to feel you were responsible for its life and not to have accomplished that duty. But your mindset should be more like this: Did I do my best so it had everything she needed? Did I make good memories with it? It is alright to feel it is unfair. It is alright to want to hide from the world, I respect the decision you made because I was the same. The pain is growing and sometimes you will feel like there is no point in life though it isn’t true. You must come back! Don’t stay on the ground, you’ll catch a cold! Get up and find a way to express your feelings. Maybe sometimes you will feel like crying but you can shout, you can draw and tear that paper. You have the right to do it and no one has to tell you that you are only making a fuss for a dead cat because that cat was your everything and no one has the right to disapprove it. If you ever lose your temper in a way even yourself couldn't have imagined you could, there is something I know will change you and bring you back bit by bit. Trust me, it was my best remedy. It is called Passiflora, a plant documented with therapeutic properties, helping not only reducing stress but also helping with sleep problems, anxiety and depression. Finally I hope I didn’t add more tears to your face but instead I hope I extended a little hand so you can reach it. I want to be the hand that makes you stand up from the cold ground. Please take care of you and remember to find you need to find again something or someone that you’ll want to protect. (Ps: Sorry if I made mistakes while writing this.)

#loss #animal #strentgh

30 notes · View notes

captainthane · 3 years

Text

Lineage and Ancestry (Part 2)

There was a moment of silence. Lea kept feeling this familiar sensation as she knew somehow deep down who that demon was. She couldn’t find her words…she wasn’t sure what all of that meant. It was the demon who broke the silence and invited Lea to sit on the ledge of the fountain.

- Please Lea. Join me and sit next to me. (Shanya)

- Okay miss Shanya. Colan and Vylixia told me that it was time for me to have some answers but I’m not certain why they said that. Is everything fine? Am I trouble? (Lea)

- You are not sweetie. (Shanya)

The demon looks around makes a sign towards Ennor, Colan and Vylixia. They three understood and left them alone. Shanya sighed deeply and then stared at Lea with a humble and kind expression. She put her hand on Lea’s cheek, caressing it. Lea blushed but also felt warm and comfortable.

- You have their eyes, freckles and hair colour. Even after all this time. It’s amazing how genetics work. (Shanya)

- Miss Shanya? I don’t get it…(Lea)

- I think you do. What does your heart and soul tell you right now? (Shanya)

- It’s like we are…related? (Lea)

Shanya nodded and removed her hand from Lea’s cheek. Afterwards, she held Lea’s hands softly and smiled at her with teary eyes.

- I’m…your ancestor Lea. It’s unexpected but it’s the truth. We demons are master of lies and deceptions so our truths are more trustworthy than the ones from angels. Ironic in a way. (Shanya)

Lea was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Many questions were flooding inside her mind. She was trembling slightly. Her ancestor reacted directly and used her healing abilities to calm Lea down.

- Even if you are my…ancestor…why me? Why contacting me and not my parents, grandparents? (Lea)

- It’s…complicated and quite the long story. Will you allow me to share it? It will make sense why you are here today. (Shanya)

- I’m…okay…I’m listening. (Lea)

Shanya first played with the fountain’s water like she tried to remember something…a different time.

- Centuries ago…I did something. At that time, you can consider it a mistake. I fell in love with a human. Sure, demons always made contracts with humans and mortals for millennia. However, we always did our best to stay professional. As I did…for as much as I could remember. But that man…he was incredible. It was just a regular contract. We were supposed to have fun for quite some time and in the end, I was taking a part of his soul. He wouldn’t end up in Hell. Your religions and your beliefs have a misconception about us. (Shanya)

- What sends us here then? I mean our souls. (Lea)

- Bad actions and choices. In the past, it was easy. Angels didn’t really check every detail of people’s lives. Mistakes were made…no one is omniscient. Nowadays, each life, each soul is studying at its core before what to do with it. Whether it’s Hell, Heaven, Purgatory or something else. It requires both sides. Angels and Demons work together. Anyway, back to the reason you are here. (Shanya)

- Yes. So, you met a mortal? (Lea)

- After some time, when our contract was about to be over, he…fell in love with me. The thing is…mortals can only develop physical attraction…not real loving feelings…except if the succubus or the incubus developed them first. Usually, it’s not a big deal. The succubus or the incubus ends the contract early explaining the situation and says goodbye. However, there was a catch…I…got pregnant. (Shanya)

Suddenly, Shanya let a little tear coming from one of her eyes. Lea panicked a bit and quickly cleaned her ancestor’s cheek. Shanya smiled again.

- Thank you, my child. (Shanya)

- If I’m here today…you had to give birth. What happened? (Lea)

- I consulted our leaders…King Lucifer and Queen Lilith. They were both frightened and worried. You need to keep in mind that there never was any hybrid before…Actually no, there was one but it didn’t end well…Hybrids are...were forbidden back then. Lucifer and Lilith had to contact the Archangels. They were…categoric. Mostly Gabriel. (Shanya)

- The solution proposed wasn’t…the best. (Lea)

- It was…at that time it was…(Shanya)

The demon took a long and deep breath. Lea held Shanya’s hands tighter to ease her ancestor as much as possible.

- After I gave birth to my son…I had to erase my lover’s memories and to modify them. Then, Lilith helped me to shut down the half demon part of my son. That way, he could live as a “normal” human and not inherit our powers and immortality. And we also made sure the demon part couldn’t be inherited to my son’s children and descendance. I left them all alone. (Shanya)

- I’m so sorry miss Shanya. (Lea)

Lea hugged Shanya tightly and pet her ancestor’s back slowly and kindly.

- Once my lover died…I requested to see his soul to restore his memories and to explain to him everything. He was…upset. He understood but his sadness was…as clear as water. He chose the reincarnation option and told me his farewell for the last time. I did the same with my son…he was definitely angry and disappointed. We talked for hours as he freed himself from his anger and sadness as well. Finally, he cried, gave me a big hug and also chose the reincarnation option. After that I moved on and didn’t want to look for my descendance…Until you came along…until you started to exist…(Shanya)

- But why? What makes me different? (Lea)

And once again, there was a moment for these questions…like the demon didn’t wish to answer them. After a few more seconds, Shanya caressed Lea’s cheek one more time.

- In fact, even if we did shut down the demon part, it was still inherited through the children. It was dormant and it should not have been awakened. That changed when you were borned. Did you never notice that you could heal slightly faster than a regular human? Or your muscles, look how they are today? Or more precisely what happened during the road trip? (Shanya)

- Before the road trip, I never thought of that. I believed I got lucky for my injuries and that my efforts paid off for my muscles. (Lea)

- Your efforts did I would say eighty percent of the job. The rest is…thanks to your demon legacy. (Shanya)

- Damn that’s…I don’t have the proper words for it. (Lea)

- That’s also thanks to your demon legacy that you survived the attempted murder while your parents didn’t… (Shanya)

- …...What? (Lea)

------

Finally I could post another story XD I’m sorry life keeps me busy but I hope you will enjoy that one ^^ and I know it ends on a cliffhanger XD sorry (not) XD Take care everyone ^^

Lea, Vylixia, Colan, Shanya and Ennor belong to me

Okaria et feria belongs to me and @wildstarfan @milasartblog

#okaria et feria #lineage and ancestry #part 2 #lea #shanya #ennor #vylixia #colan #writing #enjoy the story #cliffhanger

6 notes · View notes

luna-paradoxz · 3 years

Text

Emptiness of a Soul

Summary - the vision hunt decree gets its 100th vision.

A/N - If you want to support me you can donate on Ko-fi or commission me.

He is on his knees as he looks up to their god in cold fear. He can't feel hatred neither does he feel any warmth towards her. She inspires fear and hesitance, a wish to rebel against her even if all his nerves screamed in fear inside him. She is his archon, but he can't hand over his vision to her, he can't hand over his dreams and ambitions towards her. He can't let her take away everything from him. He struggles against the ropes, it digs into his skin, the seconds slowing down as he watches helplessly as his visions shake against him. He watches in cold as thunder screams and his vision flies away from him, he moves everything in him wishing to get back as cold starts crawling down from his head. He needs it, he needs it, he needs his vision. And yet in a mere second, it's gone, tore away from his soul as it lands in the deity's hand, and he feels everything slowing down around him as the cold seeps into his veins. Electricity is being shot in front of him as his eyes lose focus and he stares down at the wood as his mind loses everything, he once held dear. His memories slip away and empties slip into him as he tries to catch up to everything that is happening to him but sadly, he was slowing down at the same time unable to make sense as he forgets everything. When Aether looks back to his friend, he only sees a corpse wearing the husk of his friend, still, he cuts the rope from his cold skin and picks him up to run away with him. He is taken away with whispers of pity surrounding them from common people who didn't understand the cold pain he was currently in. His mind felt foggy, his body heavy and his skin as cold as ice as he was walked to a destination that didn't come to him anymore.

A shirl voice in the back of his head screams at him, to remember as he is taken inside the tea shop. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried to shut the voice, but it was screaming, its words made no sense and it was only clawing at him to remember something, something that seemed only an annoyance to him right now. A surprise scream follows their entrance as a young lady with pale blue hair and a beautiful face greeted them with a gasp and widen eyes. He notes her greyish eyes as their eyes meet and she flinches away from him as he stares at her as a stranger. The traveller meanwhile motions her to back away as he carries Thomas's limp body inside to sit him down as he shivers in the cold that assaults his skin. He is given some tea by Paimon, and he is left alone as they all walk out, and he can hear the whispers float around as his situation is explained to the young lady he didn't know. He can feel dizzy as her voice assaults him and the crawling only increases as it demands him to remember, to remember it screams. A dull foreign pain struck as he tries to force his memories back to remember if he ever meet the beautiful lady. None, there is no record and yet the screaming doesn't shut up, his body is too heavy and coldness in his veins makes him want to curl and forget everything. He puts the tea down just in time for them to come in and the lady looks at him and she then speaks,

"Thoma," she says his name too familiarly, "Have you forgotten everything?" She asks, desperate as her eyes stare deep into him. He notices the tears gathering and it is like icicles are being shot at him as he realizes he did seem to have forgotten something important. His cold tongue moves lightly as he breathes out a yes and tears falls from her pretty eyes, and he almost wants to comfort her, but his limbs doesn't move, and she is taken away by the traveller as he is left alone again.

He lays down as he tries to catch his breath, closes his eyes, and does tries to remember but all that greets him is emptiness. An emptiness, the screaming and coldness are all that greets as he lays there, folding into himself as he tries to gain some heat back, but he feels uncomfortable and wrong. He doesn't know how much time passes before they come inside, note him and then he is pulled into a futon as the traveller goes to prepare some porridge. The young noble lady gracefully takes a seat beside his bedside, her eyes have dried up, red streaks only around them as they flash with concern. She presses her palm against his forehead and though it is icy cold it gives him a little bit of warmth instead; she pulls it back though with a frown on her delicate features.

"Thoma rest I'll call a doctor for you." Is all is said as she gets up and leaves the room. He wishes silently as he closes his eyes that she would stay a bit longer.

He gets up when the doctor comes in and he notes her sitting there, worried as she watches the doctor examining with hawk eyes. He answers the man's quick questions and is let to eat while the doctor turns to the lady and explains.

"Lady Kamisato it seems to the cause is his loss of vision after all," He remembers the name, one of the tri commissions of Inazuma, why would she care for him? "It is just like other pyro users; the loss of the visions seems to have thrown his body temperature into disarray. Proper rest and food will mostly make him recover in a few days if we go by the other cases." She nods, as he learns more about himself. He had a pyro vision and a relationship of some sort with the young lady of the Kamisato family. It is so unbelievable and yet he accepts it.

He falls asleep again as he is left alone, and he wakes up finally feeling better as he notes the dim light and hears voices speaking outside.

"I am sorry to ask you both just after you both came back but is it possible for you to bring the materials to the doctor to get the medicine?" She asks, her voice quiet and stable, it sounds like a beautiful melody to him.

"Don't worry Ayaka we will get it and come back as quickly."

The traveller nods, "Take care of Thoma." That is all she says as Ayaka bids them farewell with a warning. She walks in and smiles when their eyes meet.

She sits down, so prim and graceful as she takes a seat beside him again and he wonders distantly why she is so beautiful. She checks his temperature before nodding to herself happily and says,

"They will bring your medicine soon so take a rest. You will feel better in the morning."

He huffs as he asks the burning question in him, "Why are you helping me?"

Sadness clouds her eyes as she takes his cold hands and grasps them tightly, "Because you were someone important to me and this time," She promises with determination, "you don't have to worry about anything anymore. I will keep you safe." It still doesn't make sense to him, but he still nods and is lulled back to sleep.

He wakes sometime in the night to be given medicine and notes her handing a letter to the traveller, her eyes blazing as she returns to her place beside him. She smiles gently as she checks his temperature and helps him as his stomach grumbles a bit and she laughs, a chuckle that softens his heart as he watches her get his dinner. She hands him some porridge again and she settles down beside him and he observes her as he eats slowly and notes some little things about her. She was quite beautiful he thinks as she smiles a little at him, patient and more than that seems to care a lot for him. He still doesn't get what relationship they had, but he did feel guilty now that he had forgotten someone who seemed to care so much for him. If she was someone so important to him then shouldn't he have still remembered her? For him, the loss of his vision was not so desperate anymore but he feels guilty and really wished that if it meant saddening this person then he wished he could have kept it by him.

"I'm sorry Lady Ayaka." He says his face down. He doesn't see her smile fall as her lips tremble and her hands wrangled tightly on her lap as she tried to keep her calm and collectiveness. A sec is all and then she is put back together as she smiles again,

"Thoma the shogun took your vision away. It is not your fault." He looks up, that still doesn't make him feel better because wasn't what their archon would do was the right thing to do right? He doesn't say anything though and she only smiles and takes away his dishes. His body is still recovering so he falls asleep again. This time when he wakes up, he doesn't find her there instead he finds other people who explain his life to him and take him back to the Kamisato estate. It is only there that he would learn that the Lady had left the estate for special work and will not return anytime soon.

Ayaka is standing there amidst the wounded and battered men as they glare at her as she is escorted by an army man named Teppei and traveller to the place where she will be granted an audience with Sangonomiya Kokomi and General Gorou of the resistance army. She doesn't flatter as she walks behind them with sure steps and is ushered in a small cabin. There on the headstand are the two most important people of the army, while the soldier heads away, the traveller gets in the middle as Ayaka stands there now to complete her conviction. The doors are closed behind her. When they open again Kamisato Ayaka will betray the shogunate and become a part of the revolutionary army. It will be later known the reason for her betrayal was to end the vision hunt decree and also more personal to get a certain vision back from Raiden Shogun.

A/N - Hey guys I am back and am posting for another GI ship Thomaya. I love them quite a lot and after playing the story quest I decided to write this piece because I was really intrigued by the whole idea of losing everything after losing your vision. So ya this is my headcanon not exactly canon. So hope you like it.

If you like my writing and wish to support me in some way, please consider buying me a coffee on Ko-fi, /luna2572, or you can also commission me. You can dm me or visit my Tumblr/Twitter to get the details.

Don't forget to review, favourite and/or follow.

Xoxoxo, Luna.

#my wrtitng #genshin impact #tohma #kamisato ayaka #thoma x ayaka

10 notes · View notes

wrenhyperfixates · 4 years

Text

Party Favors

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki comes to the rescue when your nephews’ birthday party is on the brink of disaster. Warnings: some curse words and implied smut; fluff

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“No! Don’t run there. It’s slippery.”

“Hang on, the bathroom’s right inside.”

“There’s going to be cake later, and you don’t want to get a tummy ache.”

Gosh, kids were tiring. You’d promised your sister, Katie, that you’d help out at your nephews’ birthday party. It was a sticky summer afternoon, but the heat did nothing to slow down the thirty-something kids running around the backyard. Between neighbors, classmates, and camp friends, the birthday boys had quite the guest list. Your sister and brother-in-law were both chaperoning the party, along with some other parents, but you were still outnumbered. Even if you weren’t, kids in large groups seem to have a penchant for trouble. It sure didn’t help that they were all at the age where chaos seemed like average fun.

Spotting the twins, you decided to take a few photos for your sister, who was busy running around to make sure everything was running smoothly. “Hey, Timmy. Hey, Tommy. How’re my favorite nephews today?” you said after snapping a few shots.

“But Auntie (y/n),” Timmy started, “we’re your only nephews.”

“Yeah, and we’re eight now,” Tommy continued for his brother. “You can’t trick us anymore.”

“We’re big boys now,” they finished together.

“I guess you are,” you replied, laughing. “Not too big for the bouncy house, I hope.”

“Of course not, Auntie. Bye!” they shouted, running towards the inflatable castle.

You walked over to the boys’ father, Lucas, and helped him check all the Slip 'N Slides and water balloon supplies. Just when you thought you might get through the day without any disasters, your sister came running up to you and Lucas.

“The clown just cancelled. There was a huge traffic jam and he can’t make it in time,” she said in a conspiratorial whisper.

“That’s all right,” Lucas said. “I’ve been saving some grade-A dad jokes for a situation like this.”

Both you and Katie groaned, eliciting a hurt scoff from her husband. And then a genius idea hit you.

“Wait a minute, guys. I literally work with superheroes.”

A few years ago, you’d scored a position at Stark Industries and, though you’d never worked in the field, often helped the team from the lab. You’d even played a large role in designing Tony’s latest suit.

“Could you really get one of them to come? I mean, aren’t they busy?” your sister asked.

Truth be told, you weren’t sure that they were free, but they definitely owed you a favor. You’d saved their butts more times than you could count. It was, at very least, worth a try. You found the quietest place you could, then called Tony. Then Thor. Then Steve. Then Nat. None of them picked up. In a desperate last attempt, you phoned the Tower hoping someone would pick up. F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered and confirmed the presence of one Avenger in the Tower. You immediately asked her to put them on, not bothering to check who it was.

“Hi. I have an urgent matter and need to call in a favor.”

“And since when do I owe you one?” a smooth baritone came from the other end of the line.

Shit, you thought, of all the people in the Tower it had to be him. You and Loki got along well enough, but you weren’t friends, per se. The two of you constantly kept up a witty banter that was often flirtatious. The others teased you about it, and you were sure they placed bets on which one of you would ask the other out first. That, of course, was stupid, as Loki obviously did not feel that way about you. And how you felt? Well, it was best not to dwell on it.

“Oh, hi Loki. Sorry, you weren’t who I was expecting. Where’s everyone else?”

“Out at the movies. They should be back in half an hour, if your urgent matter can wait that long.” You let out a frustrated groan, which prompted him to say, “Well, that’s certainly not how I imagined getting that sound out of you.”

You were thankful he wasn’t there to see you blush. You didn’t know if you could wait that long for the rest of the Avengers. That didn’t even include the time it would take for them to actually arrive. You were about to hang up and tell Katie she better try to find a replacement clown or magician when you got your second great idea that afternoon.

“Loki,” you said, “I’m sending you my location. Just come over as fast as you can. I’ll explain when you get here.”

Then you hung up before he could respond. You raced to the front of the house to wait but were nervous that he wouldn’t show. You didn’t have long to worry, though, because he suddenly materialized, making you jump a little. Sometimes you forgot that he could teleport.

“Your savior is here,” he declared, striking a dramatic pose.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah, yeah. My hero,” you said before explaining the situation to him.

“Well, I’m afraid I’m not very popular with the masses, (y/n). I think you’d be better off waiting for one of the others.”

You couldn’t help but notice how he tried to hide the sadness behind those words. Before he could leave, you protested, “Kids may love superheroes, but you know what they love even more? Magicians!”

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at that. “I’m not sure how you came to that conclusion. Besides, I don’t much appreciate being reduced to a mere magician.” He stopped for a second to tap his chin as if deep in thought, before continuing, “But, I suppose if you ask nicely, I might consider it.”

You made your best puppy dog eyes and stuck out your lower lip while giving him a pouty please. He considered you for a moment before responding.

“Very well,” he said. “I will save you this time. Just remember that you owe me. In fact, I’ve already got just the thing in mind.”

The devilish grin he gave you with that last part caused an involuntary shiver to run down your spine. He noticed but decided not to push his luck. Besides, he genuinely found it cute. In fact, he found everything about you cute. However, he refused to acknowledge the way his heart beat faster when you took his hand to lead him into the house. As you were walking, he conjured a classic magician outfit for himself. Though, he opted to have green accents instead of the traditional red. When you turned back around to face him, you couldn’t stop the girlish giggle that escaped your lips.

“Like what you see, darling?” he asked, striking a pose.

“Oh, fuck off.”

Despite your harsh response, you were blushing. As much as you were loath to admit it, he was rather dashing in the suit and top hat. You felt a sudden rush of nervousness as you introduced him to Katie and Lucas. You could see on their faces that they were trying to figure out where they knew Loki from. The second they connected the dots, their faces fell, but the reassuring smile you gave them must have worked since they started gathering the kids for the show. In all honesty, you hadn’t thought about their reaction to his being there. Or the other parents’ reaction, for that matter. It was hard to remember that the world was still clinging to the madman he’d been at the battle of New York when you knew he was just a witty prankster. Actually, he did a lot of good for the world. To you, he was just Loki.

You offered him a grateful smile as he stepped up in front of the kids and introduced himself as Loki the Magnificent. For as reluctant as he was in agreeing to this, he was putting on quite a show for them. It was a good thing, too, considering how brutally honest kids could be. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when it became apparent how enraptured all the children were with his act. He even brought Timmy and Tommy onstage to assist him with a few tricks. You made sure to take tons of pictures, partly for your sister, but mainly to tease Loki with later.

Once he finished his last trick, the kids were seated at various tables and the cake was brought out. You wanted to run up to Loki and thank him, but you had to help distribute the cake. After double checking that all the kids got a slice, you brought a piece to Loki.

“Hey, you were great up there. And I guess you really saved my ass,” you said, mumbling the last part.

“It was my pleasure. Believe it or not, I had fun.”

He raised a bit of cake on his fork in a sort of salute to you. You fully expected him to leave once he finished eating, but, to your surprise, he stayed even after all the guests had gone. You two were cleaning up the junk in the backyard when you found yourself thanking him again.

“Really,” you said, “I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

“Well mortal, let this be a lesson on how superior I am and-”

His sentence was cut short by you dumping a bucket of water down his back. You were laughing so hard that you didn’t notice him get one of his own to return the favor. You shrieked in delight as he started hurling leftover water balloons at you. You ran away from him, but his aim was impeccable. Pretty soon, you were drenched. Though you were able to seize some ammunition of your own, you were no match for the god.

“Okay, okay,” you shouted to him, bent over, trying to catch your breath. “Truce.”

“No way,” he replied, running up behind you and grabbing you by the waist. Lifting you into the air and spinning, he said, “I’m claiming this as a victory!”

Your laughter was making such a racket that Katie came to see what was going on. Through giggles, you apologized to her, but she just waved you off. Seeing as you and Loki were both sopping wet, she thanked you for all your help and sent you home to dry off. You wondered why she didn’t let you stay there to do so, but the smirk on her face answered that. Rolling your eyes at her, you said goodbye and then shouted farewells to Lucas and your nephews, who were inside.

You and Loki made your way to your car in a peaceful silence. You offered him a ride, but he insisted on teleporting you home instead. Only problem was, he brought you straight to his bedroom, not your home. You gave him a quizzical look that demanded he explain himself.

“Don’t forget, little one. You owe me a favor.”

“Oh yeah? Bring it on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After their movie ended, the Avengers tried to return your calls. You never did pick up. They didn’t have to wonder why for long, though. The sounds coming from a certain bedroom answered that question perfectly.

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #reader insert #fluff #loki fluff #marvel #mcu

222 notes · View notes

gingerwritess · 4 years

Note

just a question regarding the loki imagines ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°),, if loki lives for thousands of years , what happens to his mortal wife and elliot? do they just die within their 100 years or so?? you might’ve answered this before but I was just curious...absolutely adore your writing!! xx

it’s the mortality talk. happy reading... (the read more tag isn’t working i’m sorry! it’s in the wrong place and i can’t move it :( )

warnings: talk of death/mortality, mentions of childbirth, poor editing

“Elliot’s finally down. He put up a fight this time.”

You glance up, watching Loki peel his shirt off. “That’s not like him.”

“Didn’t want to leave his Blueberry,” he chuckles. “Can’t blame him.”

A soft smile on his lips, he settles onto the bed beside you, pressing a kiss to your temple before laying his head on your shoulder to gaze down at the tiny baby girl in your arms.

“She’s a hungry one,” he murmurs, reaching down to cradle her head as she feeds. “Are you still okay?”

You nod with a small smile. You’re alright, all things considered. As okay as someone who nearly lost their child can be.

Loki wraps his arms around you for a moment, lifting you carefully to set you between his legs, resting against his chest. You don’t protest, focusing on keeping Frigg close, and you feel him kiss the top of your head, run a hand down the back of your neck.

That all-too-familiar warmth curls around your shoulders and you can’t help but sink back into him as the tension gives way to a relief you haven’t felt for nine months.

It’s a somber evening.

You want to celebrate, revel in the fact that your daughter is alive, in your arms, but...neither you nor Loki can manage to keep a smile on your face for more than a few minutes at a time.

Neither of you want to bring it up, either.

So you sit there, giving your daughter any life you can offer, and Loki cradles you both close against him, arms under yours and head against your cheek, his breath tickling your skin.

He brushes a finger over Frigg’s cheek as she sucks, and her whole body jerks, a tiny hand hand flying out to grab Loki’s finger.

“Ow.”

You grimace, the sudden movement not exactly comfortable, and try to reposition her for a bit more relief.

“Sorry,” Loki whispers, dropping a kiss to your cheek.

Silence settles heavy over the room again, both of you staring at this miracle of a baby in your arms, gripping onto Loki’s finger with a tiny death-grip.

You catch your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Loki...”

He grabs your chin in his free hand and kisses you, hard.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

Your eyes sting when he pulls away, trying to give you a steady smile, a reassuring gaze, trying to be everything you need.

That only makes this harder.

“Yes, we do,” you manage to say, quickly turning to lean back against him; tears are the last thing he needs from you right now. “We can’t keep ignoring this, it’s–it’s going to catch up with us.”

You feel him swallow thickly behind you, his chest lifting under your back.

“We can keep doing what we’re doing. Not thinking about it. Focus on the present, and whatever happens in–in the future...”

His voice cracks, and he falls silent.

The grip he has on you borders on bruising.

Your vision swims and you take a shuddering breath, clutching your daughter to your chest.

“What the hell are we doing?”

He can only make a distraught noise in the back of his throat, giving a tiny jerk of his head. Seconds away from breaking, you can tell.

“We had another kid,” you whisper, more to yourself than to him. “And she can die.”

Loki is breathing sharply through his nose, his teeth gritted and eyes clenched shut, willing this conversation to die and fix itself.

“Loki.” You tap the back of his hand. “Did I die, too?”

The desperation in the way he buries his face in the curve of your neck answers the question for you.

No force of clenching your teeth can stop the tears anymore, and you quickly shift Frigg to one arm and press your fingers to your eyelids, rubbing away the tears before they fall, fighting back the lump in your throat.

“What are we doing?” you choke out again, not trusting your eyes to be open. “Loki, we–we have kids, what the hell were we thinking—”

“Stop it,” he hisses, still hiding in the curve of your neck. “Don’t do that.”

“I have to,” you plead, voice trembling. “If you won’t think about it, someone has to, and–and I’m going to be the one who dies—”

His grip on you tightens. “Please stop.”

You couldn’t if you tried.

“You’ll just move on, and the kids—they’ll probably stay with you, too, or maybe they’ll die with me, and we have to live the rest of our lives just waiting for them to die—”

“Shut up,” he groans into your skin.

“I can’t live like that,” you choke, clapping a hand over your mouth at the awful sob that escapes. “I don’t know what we were thinking, getting together, having kids—”

“Shut up, norns, stop.”

“No, you listen to me,” you gulp, eyes clenched shut. “I’m just a human, you’re–you’re like, four other things and I don’t even know why we thought this could work—I won’t–I won’t even get your lifetime, much less th—”

An ice-cold, blue finger lodges itself between your teeth, shocking the rest of your worries to freeze in your throat, and Loki lifts his tear stained face to level with your ear, forehead pressed to your temple.

“Bite,” he hisses in your ear. “Do it. As hard as you can.”

Teary eyes wide and frantic, you try to protest and squirm out of his grip, but his gaze is feral, breathing erratic.

“Bite.”

So you do, eyes locked with his.

His eyelids flutter shut when your teeth break skin, frozen blood dripping onto your lips.

For a horrid moment he won’t move, and Frigg has stopped sucking, probably disturbed by your pounding heart; his hand is blue over your jaw, pulling your head back against his shoulder, his bleeding finger still between your teeth.

“‘Oki,” you gulp around his finger, the tightness of your throat starting to choke you up again.

“My blood,” he whispers, staring down at your mouth. “By your doing.”

You nod frantically, your eyes pleading with him to let you go. You told me to.

Even with the bruising grip he has on you, you can’t find it in yourself to be upset at him for it; he’s grounding you, grounding himself, in the only way that makes sense to him.

“Breathe.”

He says it to himself, struggling to remember how, but you follow his silently counted focus with him, reaching up to brush your fingertips across his lips.

Minutes tick by before you’ve noticed your chest rising and falling with Loki’s, your heartbeat slowing; your day-old daughter latches back on, her tiny eyes opening to gaze up at you.

Loki hasn’t reached the point of opening his eyes.

You move for him, reaching up and carefully pulling his hand away from your mouth, placing a gentle kiss on the bite mark.

“Thank you,” he breathes, staring at the bite.

Generally when something like this happens, it’s only to one of you, and the other is there to help the other back to their feet. But this time, you don’t know if you can lift him when you’re still fallen yourself.

So when he presses his lips to your jaw and whispers “let’s have it out,” it catches you by complete surprise.

“You don’t...want to wait?”

“No. We’ve waited too long already, you were right.”

You take another deep breath; here we go. This has to be figured out. Decided.

“Turn around,” he adds quietly, nudging your back to help you turn to face him. “I need to look at you.”

You oblige him, cradling Frigg close to not disrupt her, and when you sit between his legs facing him and get a good look at him, your heart shatters.

“We’ll figure it out,” you promise, caressing his tear-stained cheek with your free hand. “That’s what we do.”

He nods; but it’s more of a resignation, a farewell before marching off to war, a goodbye wave out of a window.

Where to start.

—

“So,” Loki begins shakily, “you–you are going to die. Soon.”

You give him a sad smile. “Right. And you are going to keep living. For a long time after I’m gone.”

His eyes snap shut and he grunts, smashing a fist to his mouth to stop the sob that he almost lets out.

You give him a moment.

“You’ll ruin me,” he eventually concedes, voice still muffled and thick with tears. “If you die, I’ll be ruined. There’s no way I could function, I–I couldn’t be what our children need.”

“You know that’s not true...”

He holds up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t.”

Your heart sinks, and you take his hand in yours and hold tight.

“Then let’s figure out our options.”

“You come with me,” he blurts, “you eat the fruit, extend your life to match mine, we give it to the kids, and nobody has to go. Nobody...nobody leaves.”

“But we would need Odin’s permission,” you point out, stroking your thumb over his knuckles. “And we don’t know how human bodies would react to that.”

“Then I will steal them for you.” Loki lurches forward, eyes ablaze, and grabs your face in his hands. “I will break every law I’ve ever known and rewrite the rules of nature, just to have you by my side.”

Your eyes burn and you look down at Frigg, wishing your husband didn’t sound so desperate, so certain that he knows the perfect solution.

“That’ll just cause a million problems. Humans with immortality, it’s not going to be a good mix. If I can have it, then every human is going to feel they have a right to it.”

“Then we don’t tell any other humans. Keep it above the clouds, between us.”

Your eyes close with the soft shake of your head, and Loki bares his teeth in a quiet snarl.

“Talk to me,” he pleads, eyes glistening. “Why not? Tell me, please, tell me.”

“I don’t...” you swallow thickly, gaze darting to anywhere but his.

“Tell me.”

“I don’t know if I want to live forever.”

You watch the words smack him across the face. Imprint themselves on his forehead, gouge his eyes out. In an instant his face sets like stone, a practiced facade void of any betraying emotion.

“You don’t?”

“I...I don’t know,” you whisper; he looks so hurt. “Hear me out, okay? It’s not you.”

He stays silent, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“I think...maybe it’s nice having an endpoint,” you start cautiously. “Knowing that one day I’ll have reached the end, and–and hopefully have done a good job. That’s been the only constant my entire life.”

“And you actually want that??”

“I don’t know.”

“You should know,” Loki says incredulously, staring at you as if you’d gone insane. “There’s no question, I–I can’t believe you’re even entertaining this.”

“What about the kids?” You nod towards the door; Elliot. “He has friends. We have friends, I have family—human family—and I’ll have to watch them die. If my life changes, I can’t just bring along anyone I want. It doesn’t work like that.”

He clenches his jaw, his gaze dropping to Frigg. “It can work like that for us.”

“But it’s not just us. Everyone we know and love would die and we would have to watch.”

“So you’re scared.” He taps a finger on Frigg’s tiny toes. “You’re just scared of losing people?”

“Of course I am,” you hiss. “I’m terrified, and you certainly aren’t helping put me at ease.”

That hits him a little harder, and for a moment he stays silent, absently playing with Frigg’s toes while she continues to eat.

“There’s still the other option,” you quietly remind him, reaching over to catch his hand in yours.

“Ah, the one where I kill myself for you?”

“No...no, Loki, don’t.”

“I’ve tried,” Loki says bluntly, eyes stone cold. “It didn’t work out well.”

You chew your lip, thumb rubbing over his knuckles. “You’re scared, too. You’re not fooling me.”

His shoulders sink.

It’s perfectly twisted, and he shouldn’t be so surprised that this is how his life would end up: you want to die together, he wants to live together.

And you’re both terrified.

“I’m...sorry. Sorry.” He shakes his head. “Which one, then?”

“Choose a sacrifice,” you quietly answer. “I don’t think there’s a happy ending either way.”

Loki falls silent, his gaze dropping to his hand in yours. Your thumb still moves over his knuckles, his daughter cradled to your chest.

“Would you...be happy if we went my way?”

You can’t answer; you don’t have an answer.

Your husband nods. “Alright.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, eyes clenched shut, “I don’t know. Humans have never had to answer a question like that, I-I have no category for something like this. I don’t know.”

“Alright.” He forces a smile, catching your thumb with his. “Then starting now, I have about seventy years until I die.”

You blink up at him through teary eyes. “What??”

“I’ll die. When you do.” He reaches up and wipes away one of the tears that makes it down your cheek, a cracked smile on his lips. “We’ll go together, when the time is right.”

“No,” you choke, “no, I can’t make you do that—”

“My love.”

The tears on his cheeks only adorn his smile all the more beautifully, and he takes your face in his hands, brushing his thumb over your lips.

“You are not making me do anything.”

“I’m guilting you,” you gulp. “Aren’t I?”

“No.” He shakes his head. “Not in the slightest. I’m choosing this. You are my choice.”

“Loki—”

Pressing his lips to yours, he shuts you up with a harsh kiss. “I would rather live a hundred years by your side,” he murmurs, “than five thousand more without you.”

“But I’m asking you to die,” you whisper, searching his eyes for the lie, “I am asking you to kill yourself for me. Just say no and leave, Loki, say no.”

He laughs softly and shakes his head again. “No. You’ve sacrificed enough for me, let me try to repay you for all you’ve done.”

You can only stare up at him, trying to regain control of yourself, clutching your daughter close; Loki just smiles, and you know his mind is made.

“I think,” he says, and kisses the tip of your nose, “perhaps I was only allowed my...immortality or whatnot, to keep me alive until I met you.”

You wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “What do you mean?”

“Perhaps I am a man out of time.” His gaze drops to Frigg. “I know this is where I am supposed to be, so maybe now is the time when my eternity ends and I become a part of yours.”

“You–you mean it?” You sniff, and Frigg lets out a quiet mewl to let you know she’s had her fill.

“More than I’ve ever meant anything in my life.”

“Are you sure??”

“Listen to me,” he laughs, carefully taking Frigg from your arms. “You’ve given me life a hundred times over—and two entirely new lives.” He kisses Frigg’s tiny forehead. “So the least I can do is give you mine. End of discussion.”

Frigg starts crying then, and Loki pulls himself to his feet to gently rock her and pace around the bed, quietly crooning at the tiny girl.

In another world, it’d be laughable: she barely extends the length of his hands when he cradles her in them. And he can only stare at her, this little being he lost and gained all at once.

Steeling yourself, you manage to sit up on your knees—everything still hurts from giving birth just a day before—and call Loki over.

He gently pushes you back down though, back onto the pillows, and sits beside you. Your teeth worry at your bottom lip, and you study his eyes.

“Are you lying?”

The only change you find in them is a new sadness, his soft smile faltering.

“I am not,” he promises, “and I cannot. Not to you.”

Elliot’s tired eyes peek through the doorway before you have a chance to ask him one more time.

“Why’s she crying, momma?”

“You,” Loki frowns at the little boy—half-heartedly, of course, “are supposed to be asleep.”

That guilty grin is going to get him into trouble one day.

He gives some rambling excuse, something about his heart hurting and his head hurting and it being too loud to fall asleep, but you don’t care. There’s a light in Elliot’s eyes that lifts the weight off your chest, a glimmer of contentment in the kid’s grin, and you don’t want him to go back to bed.

Once his sister is secure in his arms, Loki scoops them both up and carries them to your bed. “You have to sleep,” he warns him, tapping him on the nose. “No tricks tonight, your mother needs to rest.”

Elliot only giggles and hugs Frigg to his chest, the little prince snuggling into the pillows between you and Loki.

You lay back down, watching Elliot make faces at the baby, and Loki climbs into bed on his other side with a quick smooch to his cheek. He reaches over Elliot’s legs and takes your hand, giving it a squeeze, and you offer him a small smile, half-hidden in your pillow.

Should we tell him? you mouth, and Loki presses his lips into a thin line, mulling over the thought.

Between the two of you, Frigg blows a spit bubble, which only makes Elliot laugh so hard he snorts, and Loki shakes his head with a smile he can’t fight.

Not for a long, long time.

You nod and squeeze his hand, too.

“Goodnight, crazies.”

“Night,” Elliot giggles, and you know no sleeping is going to be happening anytime soon. “Love ya.”

“I love you,” Loki announces, tapping his thumb on the back of your hand. “I love all three of you, so, so much.”

You fall asleep that night hand-in-hand and cuddled up to your babies, content with the firm decision that that, however long this life lasts, will be enough.

― ― ― ―

~ masterlist link in my bio ~

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424@fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @the-republic-and-face-of-texas

~ scroll here! ~

@doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15

~ scroll here ~

@mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes @narcissxblack @woohoney @anxiousamandapanda @padmeisgay @authordreaming13 @lokisironthrone @theunknowinglys

~ scroll here ~

@highfuncti0ningfangirl @epicfallenismine @stubby-toe-589331 @fandomnerdsarecool @retrofantasyland @arch-venus25 @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @littleredstarfish @marshyrebelcloud @okie–loki @atterodominatus @stfxlou @pandacookieowo @tonakings @shinisenko @tinchentitri @nildespirandum @thefallenbibliophilequote @vodka-and-some-sass @highfunctioningfangirl19 @sadwaywardkid @lokioneshot @brooksaza @wild-honey-piy @ellaenchanted91 @watermelon-lights19 @just-another-romantic @skinny-macncheese @lokisironthrone @rorybutnotgilmore

~ scroll here ~

@toozmanykids @brooklyn-times @nonsensicalobsessions @londonisacountry @peterparkerbabyyy @rogvewitch @imnotrevealingmyname @magnitude101999 @pistachoz @sigyn-njorddottir

#loki x reader #loki reader insert #loki imagine #loki fluff #loki angst #domestic!loki #dad!loki #daddy!loki #loki fanfiction #frigg lokadóttir #elliot lokason

460 notes · View notes

fieryhonesty · 3 years

Text

The life of You

[AO3]

Words: 3825

He didn't sleep much. Thinking of next day, how to delay you. He knew the moment he goes to headquarters you would disappear and go to your foster parents. Then finding out they are nowhere, finding out the house was sold and somebody else lives there. Perhaps he should have just told you the truth. Perhaps he just made it even more cruel than he needed to.

Waking up was hell, he never felt so broken before. Was he even sleeping? This felt like fighting nonstop for hours. When he got out of his room he noticed the light coming out of the kitchen. Still half asleep moving towards the light. Meeting up with you who were running around the kitchen. Asking what's going on to which you just answered 'making breakfast or at least trying to'.

Perhaps if he paid more attention to trying to he could avert the catastrophe in the form of burned eggs. He didn't know what was more surprising, the fact he had eggs at home or that you can't cook well. Took him several minutes to calm you down and assure it's fine. You can fetch some stuff at the bakery later.

"Meh, I wanted to make you a surprise for letting me sleep here..."

"For last time. It's fine. Look, you made amazing coffee and that's all I need in morning to wake up." Putting his index finger on your lips. "Shh."

Once you bought some pastry and ate it on your way, Kaeya noticed how you looked towards the direction where you used to live. In hopes you won't run off, saying you should come with him. To meet with some old acquaintance which you just shrugged at and agreed with. In fact he was not sure how much you and Jean knew each other. But hey he had to try it.

His entire plan is based on improvisation. Keep you busy until evening, take you to the tavern and leave it to the right person. If there was somebody who should tell you about their father's passing away. It should be his rightful son.

When you two arrived at the headquarters, knights already greeted him as a captain. Cursing for himself. At least he could tell you that Diluc is no longer with the Knights of Favonius. Glancing over at you, noticing you didn’t seem surprised or anything. Instead giving him a confused 'huh?'.

Excusing himself as he disappeared to the acting Grand Master's office. Quickly explaining his situation. She stared at him trying to take it all in.

"So, you want my help to keep the miss y/n occupied until evening. Also expecting your plan will work out perfectly considering your relationship with Diluc?" Jean rubbed her temples. It wasn't everyday when somebody came to her office asking for help like this.

She knew about that specific incident. About two adventurers taking it too far in the mountains and never coming back. Being found weeks later frozen to bones. "Fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt to get acquainted. I don't remember much more than her name and that she was with you guys all the time."

"See? That's enough to get known with somebody. I will take over your work and you will have a day off." Kaeya had to control his voice not to be too loud in case you could hear it through the door.

It was one awkward day for the acting Grand Master yet full of fun. At first Jean was a little anxious about literally knowing nothing about you but that quickly changed. Especially after taking you to the local library where you guys meet up with Lisa.

She might be librarian but she is more than that, she could also work as a professional advice giver and love guide. It didn’t take long until you all felt like knowing each other for a long time. Talking about all kinds of things, it even ended up Lisa making you sign up for library membership. So you could borrow a book sometime. Making Jean forget about what Kaeya said to her earlier.

"Just keep y/n busy until evening, we are not the right people to tell her the truth. If there's anyone it's him. In the end the only one who will come bad out of it is me. Which I fully deserve." Kaeya's last words didn't make sense to Jean but that was probably all tied to their ill brother relationship.

As it was about the time for you and Jean to return back, bidding your farewells to the librarian.

"See you next time, miss y/n~"

"Oh please Lisa stop calling me miss. I think we are acquainted enough." Rolling your eyes and laughing afterwards.

"I know, I know. It's just really fitting to your name. Knowing that you are a business woman, one has to treat you as one." Lisa was clearly teasing you more than anything.

----

As you arrived back to knights headquarters you wanted to drop off. Explaining you really should check on them. Luckily Jean didn't have to come up with some lie as Kaeya suddenly appeared. Like he could hear you talking. Convincing you to tag along with him as an apologize for burned eggs.

Making you pout but nonetheless you agreed to come. Noticing an envelope in his hand, coming to a conclusion he will have to deliver it personally. To your surprise you two crashed at Angel's Share. The same tavern where your little reunion happened. The tavern was still nearly empty, it was short after opening.

‘So Diluc is working as a bartender here now?’ Thinking to yourself upon seeing the scarlet man behind the bar again. Noticing his glare. But it was not meant for you, his eyes locked on Kaeya. Locked like he was his prey. Just what was going on?! Kaeya’s no longer living at winery, their relationship feels odd and this death giving aura all focused on the said man.

Diluc was scary. It was far too different from the kind lad you remember. Making you nearly turn around and leave but when he looked at you, his expression softened. He was not smiling but also not giving you the same look as he gave to his brother.

"Um, hi?" Your voice was nervous all of sudden. Cursing in your mind, trying to calm down.

"How are you? I hope he didn't do anything to you." Ignoring Kaeya's remark about he is there and he can hear it.

"Ah, no! It's the opposite actually! After he offered me a place to sleep at, all I did was burn his breakfast..." Diluc had a hard time not to laugh or change his usual expression. All he could do is think that liar actually deserved it. Noticing you were wearing something different than the other day. At least two or maybe three sizes bigger than a woman of your size would wear. Resisting the urge to question Kaeya what he has done with your clothes.

He could not trust that man with anything. Not even with the letter he received earlier. A letter full of nonsense, it was not his style. Kaeya would plot and scheme something not indirectly come and beg for help. Diluc would burn the letter and do like nothing happened if the context of whole writing wasn't about their childhood friend. Shooting an icy glare at Kaeya.

"Well?" Rising an eyebrow at the bluenette.

"Oho, I thought I'm a frequent customer. That you would know what I want. One death after noon~" Diluc was amazed how well the other male can act. Doing like nothing is going on, trying to be funny. He was disgusting. Looking back at you.

"What about you, y/n?"

"Hmm, surprise me. Wait actually... that thing from yesterday. Not the wine, the other red thing."

Giving you a nod and pouring the drinks. He actually couldn't help himself but to give Kaeya just grape juice. He knew he shouldn't let his personal feelings slide into work but knowing how much the man despises the juice.

The temptation was too strong for him to resist. Kaeya looked at the glass and at Diluc, back at the glass. It was like he knew it's not wine even before smelling it. Not saying anything but also not taking a single sip.

"Y/n." Diluc spoke to you who already drank the entire glass of juice. "I'd like to talk to you. We need to... catch up."

"Ah, sure. I actually wanted to talk with you too!" Your voice was much less tense than before.

"Although that has to wait for a bit. Waiting for the other bartender to arrive. Until then, please do enjoy your drink." As he said he gave you another glass. Receiving a gentle smile in return.

It didn't take long until Charles, the other bartender, arrived and could take the bar from Diluc. As you were about to pay for all those glasses he just shook his head to leave it be. Receiving a protest about one has to pay for their drinks. Turning you down with 'It's on the house, now shush.' Clearly a few glasses of juice won't hurt his business. Wishing Charles a calm shift and leaving the tavern followed by you.

You two made a little stroll around the city, as time was passing by it was slowly getting darker and darker. You remembered you wanted to stop by your home. Looking at Diluc with a smile.

"Hey Diluc, how about we first check on dad and mom? It won't take long I promise! I just want to let them know I'm back. I can't barge in at midnight and give them a heart attack."

Diluc pressed his lips together. No matter how he does this or what he says it will end up the same. You noticed his pained expression, looking to the side. This was odd. Smile slowly retreating from your face. Why does both Kaeya and Diluc have the same expression whenever you mention your old people? Then it hits you, like a cold shower. Making you shiver, a wave of denial and anger trying to take over.

"What are you hiding..." You snapped at him.

How could you be so dumb until now. Thinking of it, Kaeya did successfully keep you in the dark for the whole day and night. Growing impatient with Diluc's silence. Turning around to run to your home but he grabs your arm.

"Let go-!" Diluc sighed, he never was good with words. Or at least when it came to telling the sad truth.

"If I let you. Are you ready to face whatever lies up ahead?"

"Just let me go! For fucks sake!" Yanking off his grip and making a run for it.

Not caring about your surroundings, barely bothering enough to avoid to crash with somebody. Ignoring the angered shouts coming at you. Your mind was locked at only one thing. Deep down wishing your assumption was wrong. Maybe they are just in a bad financial situation or sick but not...

Sharp pain in calves didn't make you stop not until you arrived at the destination. The house looked a bit different. It no longer had flowers on windowsills and it no longer was giving the warm homecoming aura. Lights were on, your last hope. Dashing to the door, violently knocking on them. When they opened it was not your old man greeting you but somebody you had never seen.

Blankly staring at the man with wide eyes. Still in denial. This can't be! No! Slowly backing off, knocking over a stone. Landing hard on the ground, feeling how tears were forming in corners of your eyes. A little boy popped out from behind the man, asking if the aunt lady is alright.

Reality was too harsh. Looking forward to share your adventures, troubles and findings with them. But they were not here. What happened? Why did this man open up the door? Perhaps you just jumped into a quick conclusion, perhaps they just moved. But. Something was telling you that's not the case. The pained expression Diluc had just a moment ago before you ran off.

Getting up on foot, murmuring a quiet apology and walking away. You had no strength to run anymore. Everything was spinning. Why has nobody told you about this? Why has nobody been straight with you? Where are you? Where should you go? This is not how your homecoming was supposed to be.

----

Not knowing where your legs were carrying you. Already outside of the city's gates. Moon was already up, illuminating the road ahead. Lost in your own world, not noticing how shadows were moving. Only because of your sixth sense you built up during those years you managed to avoid the ambush.

Dodging the swing from mitachurl's axe. Your movement was swift but lacked the will to bother. Yet you found yourself agitated enough. Just the fact something had the audacity to attack you was enough. Feeling presence of something stronger than the oversized churl. It was disgusting and suffocating feeling. Fitting to the Abyss.

Mitachurl charged with high speed, swinging its axe at you one more time. Only being blocked by an icy wall. The angered beast roared and slammed the ice into pieces. You were already behind it, a sword in hand. Slashing the beast's rear, getting distance. It followed you with a single leap. Avoiding all of its attacks, sometimes putting a wall of ice between you and the beast. If you were interested enough the battle wouldn’t go this way. It would be done in a matter of seconds.

The anger you felt, the pain which was irritating. The last thing you wanted to do was bother with this thing. But what other options do you have? One last dodge. Before the monster could attack once more it got staggered by several cryo blades attacking its weak spots. Making it yowl in pain. The blades then returned back to your side.

Air was getting colder every passing second. Jumping over the mitachurl, swinging blade, sending icicles which shattered upon contact. Sharp as swords they were digging deep into the beast’s body. Upon landing you begin assaulting the beast with quick attacks. Slash after slash. The cryo blades copied your attacks. When you were done they returned back to your side.

To finish the thing off you summoned an ice spear in the sky. With a single motion of your hand it landed. Piercing the beast through. Freezing everything around in a small radius. Knowing the spear can reach the absolute zero, nobody at low skill level as monsters in the wild could survive this.

"I hate this..." Murmuring to yourself. The evil presence was still lingering in the air. Where is it hiding? Eyes darting everywhere. Unfortunately clouds were covering the moon and there was really low visibility. An attack could come out of everywhere. Hearing a low whisper in language you could not understand.

Abyss mage's incantation! Just in time avoiding a shower of icicles. ‘Cryo?! Are you kidding me?’ You cursed while taking cover behind your cryo wall. What you can do? Fighting ice with ice is ridiculous.

Mage was laughing in amusement, it could toy with you as long as it wanted to. You can't hurt it, not with your vision. Luck was on its side today! Its Queen would reward it for bringing her yet another trophy. Especially if it's somebody who's already on their list.

It knew who you are. Description of h/c and e/c, cryo vision and one handed sword. That's definitely the same woman who blasted one of their important hideouts in Liyue.

Enjoying the view of your futile attempts to get lost from its sight. Showering you with more and more icicles. It couldn't tell why but it felt like you seemed down, weaker. A perfect opportunity to take you down. Following your tracks was worth the time!

Another laugh escaping its lips. But then something felt off. Before realizing what caused the intense change in air, the heat slammed it down. The perfect and unbreakable shield, covering it from any kind of attack was gone! Only one thing could cause this. Rising its head up and noticing a tall figure coming closer. Holding a fiery weapon. Just when it thought today was its lucky day this man must have appeared!

Using its ability to teleport away, however the man wielding the flame sword was quick on his feet. Slamming it again into the ground. There was no escape, not from the notoriously known man, Diluc Ragnvindr. He is the most hated and focused man by the entire Abyss Order. Destroying all of their plans. The abyss mage perished in flames. Screaming this will cost him.

Diluc stood there, eyes locked at slowly dying flames. He tried to keep his emotions in control. However there were many things pissing him off. One of them being cowardly Kaeya. His mixed up feelings about you. Abyss Order daring to disturb tonight. His inability to find proper words.

Hearing footsteps behind him closing the distance. Hearing the blade cutting through air. Blocking it with his claymore. Eyes to eyes facing you. There was no longer anger in them. In fact it was hard to tell what you were thinking. A few more attacks. All he did was parry each of them. Your attacks grew weaker and weaker until your hand holding sword froze mid air. Looking at your friend with watery eyes. Confused. Hurt. Angry. Letting go of the sword, before it could land on ground it disappeared. Falling on knees and sobbing. Feeling defeated. Crushed. Helpless.

Diluc let go of his own weapon. Considering what to do next. He could just throw everything at his friend. At least you would know the truth but he was not a man of sugar honey covered words. Being aware it could make everything worse. He is not really fit into this role. But at least he could relate to your pain, to your feelings or so he thought.

Hesitantly kneeling next to you, putting hand on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Just what was he doing? Is this how you comfort people? If it were him he would just shut himself in bedroom, not caring about anything else. You were no longer a little kid where you used to cry a lot over tiny things. And even then comforting was something completely different to him than it is now.

What should he say? What should he do? Would it be too bold or stupid to do it like when you were kids? But this time you were not hurt, at least not physically. It's not like falling and hitting your head, crying aloud. Where he could just blow at the ouchie and say the pain will go away soon.

"What... what happened? Tell me the truth... everything... please!" You managed to whisper between sobs. Looking into Diluc's fiery orbs, finding empathy in them.

Listening to everything what he said. How things slowly unfolded. How your parents decided to go on an expedition into mountains, underestimating the cold climate. Only being found frozen to death. And since nobody knew about your exact whereabouts there was no way to inform you or ask what to do with the house.

The house was unoccupied for three years, just recently somebody moved in. A young couple with their son. Maybe if you wanted to and were heartless enough you could get the house back. But that wouldn't be right thinking to yourself.

Diluc also told you about him no longer being with knights and practically despises them now. From that point it was really hard for him to speak with a clear throat. He will never forget the pain of losing somebody close to him. Even before he got to the part how his father passed away, you crawled over, now sobbing into fabrics of his attire. Holding tightly to him.

For a brief moment he closed his eyes, trying to chase away those bothersome tears which were forming in his eyes. This was a hard topic for him. Except the traitor and his personnel, nobody really knew what happened. He didn't trust anybody since that day, or at least not enough to share this.

Perhaps he was feeling sentimental and emotional enough. At first he planned to skip details and just tell you his old man died. But somehow he felt like he could trust you. In the end it all seemed like you were the one who cried for both of you. He cried enough back then, yet holding back some tears was impossible. It will always hurt.

None of you knew how long had passed or what time it was. When your cries slowly fell quiet, when there were no more tears to cry.

"I don't know what to do now... Where to go. I have no home and I don't want to go to Liyue..." Whispering into night air.

Feeling how Diluc let out a deep breath. Probably wanting to say something. Releasing from his arms, suddenly feeling cold.

"Damn, I should have taken more mora with me. But who would have known I would need enough to pay rent, huh." You tried to lighten the mood. Not sounding so dreadful.

Diluc stood up and offered you his hand. "Manor has open doors for you. Unless... You'd like to spend another night on somebody's sofa." He didn't tell you about Kaeya. Feeling like it's his responsibility. All he said was that their opinions are different way too much to remain the same.

Not sure if you were mad at that man but he would have preferred if you kept distance. Kaeya can't be trusted, not anymore. However, telling you what to do is not his business anymore.

"Ah, well. I... I would need to scold him first for being such a chicken. Leaving the bad news sharing to you. Anyway we are not done with bad news and stuff, but how about we leave it for later?" Giving him a weak smile.

"Oh! Does Adelinde still work as a head maid?"

"Yes. She's very loyal. Considering she already worked for my father." Diluc dusted off his coat and then taking it off, pulling it over your shoulders. You were shocked to say anything, feeling blood rushing to your face.

"Well then. We better be on our way."

Walking silently towards the winery. One thing was sure, things won't be the same as before. But with some work around you could restore your friendship.

Sharing your own secrets and story behind the vision. The thing about business heritage and in general what took you so long. Diluc valued your honesty and trust. You can be sure he will be there for you if you need.

Previous ✨ Next

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin diluc #genshin kaeya #f!reader #genshin #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #kaeya alberich #fiery series #homecoming #writing tags or anything is hell #my hand is bandaged yikes

25 notes · View notes

blacknailpolishonguitarstrings · 3 years

Text

The irony of white lilies

CW: funeral, mention of death, hate of a loved one

Bright golden sun, radiant blue sky, fluffy white clouds, joyful chirping birds, colourful blooming flowers, iridescent dew drops sliding off waxy green leaves, sweet scents of freshly-baked bread and pastries wafting through the fresh morning air… all of it was too much for Remus. It was too pretty, too happy, too good to be true. London was never this beautiful. Of course, the one day where it was had to be the funeral of his three best friends and his relationship with the one person he had loved more than anything else. He looked at himself in the narrow mirror in the hallway: tall, slim, long gangly limbs drowning in a dark brown suit, the only one he owned, which was slightly too large for him, mousy brown hair strands hanging limply over his face and having lost their golden shine, honey brown greenish eyes shadowed by dark rings, and pale, ashy skin stricken with several old silvery scars and a couple of fresh pink ones. The mirror reflected the ghost of a person, a mere shadow of who he was before. In the top right corner of the reflective glass, five words and a name were hastily written in black marker. The letters were perfectly shaped, curved in elegant lines, clear and regular, so very different from Remus’ own scrawny, barely readable handwriting. It was unmistakably Sirius’ handwriting through and through, remnants of his aristocratic past clear as day. And it read:

“I love you, remember me

-Sirius”

It was nothing more than a mere note, a regular thing Sirius did, nothing out of the usual, and yet, it was as if he had known what would happen, as if…

“As if he had planned it all along,” Remus realised. Ragingly, he whipped the glass with his long, frayed sleeve, attempting to erase the message before his eyes, from existence, from his memory, but the letters wouldn’t even smudge. Huffing in frustration, he grabbed his wand, before stomping out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind himself.

“Colloportus,” he whispered sharply, waving at the lock briefly with his hand.

The air around him crackled quietly, buzzing with the magic that escaped the howling wolf inside him, are emotions and uncontrollable feelings ruling over his entire being, brimming with pure power. Remus ran down the stairs, ducking out of the building, and slipped into a nearby foul-smelling alley, shadowed by the silhouettes of the tall houses surrounding it. Hiding behind a dumpster, he Apparated away with a loud crack.

***

The fields surrounding the Potter’s barndominium swayed in the fresh autumn wind, grass blades rustling softly as the last few flowers undulated and bent over under the pressure of harsher gusts of cold air. Not far from him, about 50 meters or so away, a group of people clad in black clothes stood amongst pristine white chairs. An altar of some sort crowned with a plethora of flowers stood proudly above them, a few long ribbons of white silk swaying in the wind over the guests. Ridiculously, it looked almost like the preparations of a wedding ceremony instead of a funeral, full of decorations and extravaganza.

“The entire opposite of what James and Lily would have wanted,” Remus thought, scoffing, before making his way over to the small crowd, striding through the tall yellowy dried out grass.

No one noticed him when he approached the congregation, all too busy talking in hushed whispers amongst themselves or staring at the front towards the flowered altar. Remus recognised a couple of faces here and there, some Professors from Hogwarts, some people he remembered having seen at Fleamont’s and Euphemia’s glorious and colourful Christmas parties, and a few students he had attended Hogwarts with. Order members were stationed in several places, milling around the mourners, stances guarded and wands drawn. Now more than ever, the aftermath of the War hung heavy in the air, looming darkly over everyone’s minds, deemed finished yet never entirely gone. Clenched fists stuffed in his pockets, Remus hung back a little, staying at the back of the crowd, observing everyone carefully and nodding to the occasional acquaintance who caught his eye. Something about the atmosphere felt very off and erroneous, yet he couldn’t quite place his finger upon it thus far. Suddenly, the loud telltale crack of Apparition cut sharply through the muffled conversations, and Dumbledore appeared in the middle of the funeral, exceedingly dramatic. Everything quieted down as he swept the crowd with his bright blue eyes, staring half-pensively half-gravely at everyone behind his half-moon spectacles. Finally, after a few strangely agonisingly long seconds, he turned around swiftly in a swish of robes and walked up to the altar on which lay James and Lily’s lifeless bodies. While Dumbledore waved briefly at the gathered attendance, gesturing for them to sit down on the white wooden chairs, Remus only had eyes for the cadavers of his two best friends, allowing himself to really look for the first time. They laid side by side, dressed in pristine softly shimmering silk white robes as if it were their wedding day, surrounded by wreaths of white lilies. James’ dark caramel skin and black curls and Lily’s auburn hair stood out drastically against the pureness of their milieu. Eyes closed faces relaxed and serene, they almost looked like a pair of coloured porcelain dolls that had been deposited on an elaborate flowerbed. Neither of them seemed dead, on the contrary, it was as if they were plunged in nothing more but deep, tranquil sleep, away from everything, at peace. Unable to bear it any longer, Remus turned away, biting his trembling lip as he watched the grass continue to sway softly. The sickeningly sweet smell of lilies was carried to him by the wind. A small, ironic smile bordering on slightly crazed stretched across his thin lips as his face contorted into a tight, pained grimace.

“Lily hated lilies, especially white lilies,” he thought with morbid amusement.

Behind him, the people had ceased to shuffle around and settled in their chairs. Dumbledore coughed lightly, and Remus glanced back, locking eyes with him. A rush of anger surged inside of him, though he did not know exactly why. The old man must have perceived it somehow, maybe seen the raging flare in his eyes, because after a few seconds, he lowered his eyes, gazing instead at the guests.

“Ladies, gentlemen,” he began, “we are gathered here today to honour James and Lily Potter, who unfortunately and tragically lost their lives far too soon on the grim night that was the 31st of October 1981. Both Lily and James were remarkable people, praised both in magical and emotional domains by many. They were caring and loving people, who brought much new to better the world we live in. I would thus like to go back on some of the deeds James and Lily Potter accomplished in their noble, albeit short lives, to mourn them in a celebration of them rather than in wallowing in sadness, reminiscing what we lost. I knew James and Lily as students under my care at Hogwarts first and foremost, but they revealed to be dear friends as they grew older. I remember the first day…”

The words blurred in Remus’ ears, sounding meaningless and hollow, empty, almost…false, if one would dare to call them as such. They did not appear to hold any real value, and as speaker after speaker would pronounce their own valedictory, Remus doubted more and more whether these people actually knew or cared about James and Lily. All they ever seemed to remember was how good of a witch Lily was considering she was a Muggleborn, how wonderful of a Potioneer she was, how spectacular and outstanding James’ Quidditch skills were, how pleasant of a boy he was even if rather mischievous, and on and on and on. It was incredibly and unexpectedly painful for Remus, to whom Lily and James meant so much more than that, to hear people deliver such vain and barren speeches.

“They deserve better than a listing of their accomplishments, Lily and James deserve better,” he thought ragingly.

All throughout, he noticed Minerva, who sat quietly at the first row, only distinguishable from this far by her telltale pointy black hat, remained quiet. Remus deemed it rather surprising, but paid it no real mind, knowing she must have her reasons. Ever since the war, that peculiar bond they had formed on his very first day when she welcomed him had strengthened, grown into something deeper, maybe a friendship. Minerva McGonagall was probably one of the last few remaining people Remus still trusted. Finally, the tall, thin, balding man whose name Remus had failed to catch finished talking with a mere “We will miss them”, and Dumbledore walked up to the small stage once more.

“Before we bid farewell to our dear friends forever, does anyone else wish to speak?”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Remus walked up to him from the back of the gathering.

“Yes, Professor, there are some things I would like to mention before we let go of James and Lily, some things I believe they would have liked to hear,” he started, nodded faintly.

The gathered witches and wizards watched him expectantly, mistrust painted on the faces of a few at the sight of a skinny, tall, scarred, and shabbily dressed young man.

“Lily Evans hated lilies you know, James learned that the hard way in 5th year when she threw the humongous bouquet he had offered her in an attempt to woo her right at his face. Some said Lily could have been a fine Chaser with such precision of throw. James later learned that the way to Lily’s heart was blush roses. Anyhow, I believe it is time we change…this,” he said gesturing vaguely at the extravagant decorations, a slight moue of disgust forming on his bony face.

Whispering an incantation, he waved his wand briefly in the air and the lilies disappeared in a light poof of sparkles, replaced by creamy white roses with very faint blush pink cores.

“Better isn’t it?” he asked rhetorically, laughing a little to himself at the disbelieving looks painted on some of the elder witches and wizards. “Lily and James were two very special and talented people as you all already mentioned, but to me, they were important in a very different way, I remember them for other reasons which I believe, are just as significant. Lily Evans Potter and James Potter were two of the very first people who made me feel safe and welcomed, who made me feel truly loved, who made me feel at home. I trusted them with my life, and I still would if they were among us. I could spend hours here in front of you, telling you hundreds of stories about them, both sad and happy, about the time James fell off his broom into the Black Lake while attempting to impress Lily with some crazy stunt, about the time Lily was paired up with James in Potions and nearly died of stress and frustration, considering James was practically hopeless at Potions. I could tell you about the time they had a picnic under the stars at the top of the Astronomy Tower and Si…”

Remus choked on the word, feeling his throat tighten around it, refusing to let it go.

“And some friends and I,” he continued, sighing shakily, “found them and scared them into believing there was a ghost haunting them, although it was James who was more afraid if truth be told, Lily was too busy laughing and making fun of him.”

Some people in the audience cracked a faint smile at that.

“What I mean to say is, we can remember Lily and James for the many deeds they accomplished during their lives and for the wonderful stories we have of them. But we could also simply remember them as wonderful people who worked tirelessly to be good and make this world a little brighter, as people who cared for and loved everyone who was in need, as people who always strived to be a better version of themselves. I saw James and Lily as examples of kindness we should all attempt to live up to, and it is how I wish to remember them. I…”

Remus didn’t know what else to say, it felt like he had shared so much already, yet spoken so little of them, and none of the things swirling in his confused mind right now felt right to share with these strangers. It was simply too much, he wasn’t even sure he had already accepted the deaths of his friends, a part of him was still in deep denial, believing hopelessly and foolishly that neither James nor Lily nor Peter were gone, that it was all a terrible nightmare he would wake up soon from. Sirius wasn’t even worth mentioning anymore, he couldn’t think about him. Not today, when his focus should be entirely on Lily and James. From the first row, Remus saw Minerva smile at him gently, tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks which appeared so pale against the darkness of her robes. He mustered a faint mirthless smile in response, before turning away, tears welling in his eyes. Desperately, he clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into the calloused skin of his palms, trying to distract himself with the sharp pain, doing anything just to forget what was going on around him. He left the stage like that, and walked away from the ceremony, refusing to turn back again, even though he felt a sharp stare drilling holes into his back. Dumbledore probably. Finally, he stopped and willed himself to glance back at least one last time at the lifeless bodies of his friends. At that precise moment, Dumbledore waved his wand, and the flower bed went up in silvery-white crackling flames. Only two white marble caskets remained when they died away. The charred petals of white roses which had burned in the fire softly twirled down on the stone, gentle and dead.

#marauders fanfiction #jily #remus lupin #angst

9 notes · View notes

ask-october-fox · 4 years

Text

A Gift

I hope that this gets to you before you leave for the year. I’m not an artist, but I am a writer, and I wanted to take some time to make something as a thank you for the great comfort you give everyone around you. Thank you for everything you do. Lots of love, -Pennington Inkwell ————————————————-

There was a chill in the air, one that pushed just on the border between crisp and biting. Autumn was still far from over, but October could feel that her time was nearing its end for this year. She was always sad to say farewell to the many spirits who came to visit her year after year for her short month in the world of the living, but it was always accompanied by a sense of overwhelming relief. This year had been trying for the entire world, and she was no different. There were many more than she had been expecting needing her guidance to the other side, and she had performed her duties with all due diligence for each one. Now, though, she was going to be able to rest. She’d sleep away her exhaustion for another eleven months and return again as the spirit of the season next year. She had returned to her favorite resting spot, a wide tree stump that seemed to refuse to rot. She often wondered if the resting place for her lantern had somehow been enchanted by her presence, but it was of little consequence. It was her spot and she enjoyed it, and that was all that mattered. She curled her three perfectly-groomed tails around herself, resting her chin on them as she let out a yawn. She was ready. Or so she thought. Her ears perked up involuntarily as she heard the crackling of leaves and snapping of twigs approaching. She could tell by the pace and the gait that it was a human, a fact that momentarily confused her. She could count on one paw the number of humans who would venture this deep into her forest and still know their way, and none of them had been able to visit this year with the state of the world being what it was. She considered hiding, but decided to wait it out. If worst came to worst, she was more than capable of defending herself. The human was indeed a stranger to her, but she could tell that they weren’t a threat. They were caught in that perilous position of being too old to be a child and too young to be an adult, but they moved as if they had the weight of the world on their shoulders. Curiously, October could see a wandering spirit traveling alongside them, watching just over their shoulder as a small wisp of light. She watched them as they caught sight of her, their breath catching in their throat. For a moment their eyes met, and silence fell as they each stared at one another, one curious and the other fearful. They held up their hands in a placating motion. “I don’t want to hurt you.” October chuckled internally. “I never believed you did.” She smiled and rested her chin back on her tails. “You’ve come a very long way to be here, young one, this forest is full of perilous creatures. Why?” The human squirmed somewhat. “Y-You’re the Fall Fox, right?” October felt a small flare in the embers of her rage for her predecessor, but she didn’t let it show beyond an annoyed flick of her third tail. “You’re 300 years too late, I’m afraid. I am October, his… successor.” “But… you still guide spirits to the other side?” the human spoke almost in a whisper, what little confidence they had quickly dissolving. “Indeed.” October glanced again at the spirit floating alongside them. They clearly weren’t capable of seeing it, themselves, but it wasn’t out of the question for humans to be able to sense a spirit’s presence. “Did you come all this way to ask me to take someone beyond the veil?” The human nodded again, slowly walking up to the tree stump in as non-threatening a way as possible. Once they’d come close enough, they fell to their knees. They took one long, shuddering breath and bowed their head. “I-I think I’m ready to go…” October recoiled, the last vestiges of sleepiness vanishing in a moment of unadulterated shock. She blinked several times, trying to process the request. “I don’t- Are you certain that you understand what I do?” she asked. “My work is for the spirits of the dead, child! I don’t have any domain over-” “I know.” The human sniffled, and October could see tears dripping from their face. “Like I said, I’m ready.” They were walking the knife’s edge of despair, and needed to be brought back to safety. October knew that, even if they weren’t dead, this was another lost spirit, a VERY lost one. Perhaps, even if it wasn’t necessarily her place, she could bend her rules enough to help guide them to safety. She rose to her feet and hopped down from the stump. She seated herself directly in front of them, fixing her piercing orange gaze on their eyes. “Why?” As much as she wanted to give them nothing but comfort and softness, she forced a terse edge into her voice. She expected an answer, a truthful one, on the first try. “Why not?” They couldn’t hold her gaze, turning away. “Look around. Everything’s gone to hell. The planet’s dying, no one can really advance their station if they want to, people are dying in throngs, it feels like half the world’s on fire, and every day we hear more bad news…” they buried their face in their hands, as if it could hide their weeping growing stronger. “The ones who have power are the ones who are selfish enough to take it for themselves, and the ones who need help-” their breath hitched in their throat, and October could see the spirit that had accompanied them move closer, as if trying to comfort them. She could feel the strength of the bond and the love between them, and she understood why and how they’d found their way here: the spirit couldn’t save them, so it had come to her. She stepped forward, putting a paw on their chest and resting her chin on their shoulder. Her tails shut out the cold night as they were both enclosed in her gleaming fur. “Young one… There are many who question the meaning and purpose of life. It is an immutable rite for every living creature to question why they live at all. In good times, they wonder why it has to end and what the pleasure amounts to. In bad times…” She tightened her tails slightly, pulling them closer. “In bad, they question why the pain must exist, and themselves along with it. Sometimes, they are at fault for their own suffering, but much more often it is something beyond their control that inflicts such a cursed doubt on them.” She felt tears of her own brimming up as painful memories resurfaced, stories told to her by the many spirits that had passed through her care mingled with pangs from her own long life’s memories. "I wouldn’t aspire to the lofty title of ‘Oracle,’ but would you like to know the answer that I’ve found over my years?“ She felt them nod, unable to speak through the tears any more. "It is true that the world can feel uncaring or cruel. It may fall to pieces and lose parts of what we think are the very heart of it all… But that doesn’t mean it cannot be pieced back together… together.” She leaned back slightly to move and press her forehead to theirs. “When the summer sun dims and winter’s winds blow across our hearts, we gather together around an autumn campfire and warm ourselves with fables. We remember heroes that never existed so that we can, through the whole of the world, make them real. When we are fearful and trodden upon, we look to others to help us rise, and then look to lift up others. And when we find ourselves with… a hole in our hearts, one that feels as if it could never be replaced, we mend it with memories and love, both old and new. The hole remains, of course, but it is no longer the doorway through which despair can enter our souls.” She sighed, feeling the pangs in her heart soothed by the memories of the countless spirits who came back to her every year, always more enthusiastic than ever. Some were joyful, some would seek to help her or please her, and some would need guidance or comfort. It never meant that what she had lost was replaced or returned, but… “I’ve found that the heart is boundless. We can always fill it, piece it together, and make it grow anew if we throw ourselves into others. Helping them, laughing with them,” she smiled in spite of herself, “or even crying with them, when need be.” The human’s sobbing had slowed to a stop, and their tears had become a tiny trickle dripping off their chin, now. “S-So what should I do?” they whispered, their voice still wavering. “If you find that humankind feels beyond help, involve yourself in humankind. You’ll find that you’re never so alone as you feel in your beliefs. If you feel the world is beyond saving, save the part of the world you can, in what little ways you can. It can be helping someone across the street or a spirit across the veil. The more you help others, the more you’ll find your ability to help grows, and the joy you bring will be twofold: for them and for yourself.” She had to stop for a moment as another yawn forced its way past. “In my experience, THAT is the balm of a broken heart.” It couldn’t have been more than a minute that they sat in silence, but it felt like an eternity. For a moment, October worried that her words had fallen on deaf ears. When the human reached out and pulled her into and awkward hug, however, she smiled and knew that she had been heard. “Thank you.” “You are always welcome, child…” She did her best to reciprocate the hug with a squeeze of her tails before the two of them were separated again. She hopped back up onto her stump, seeing that the human was wiping away their tears and wearing a melancholy smile. They seemed unsure of what to say, but October knew just how to fill the silence. “I expect to see you again next year, child. Do you understand?” They seemed surprised at the assignment, but soon smiled wider, with a little more joy to their expression than grief. “I promise!” As they departed back into the trees, the spirit hung back, floating up to her and hovering just over her muzzle. October could already tell that they weren’t prepared to go, but she could feel the gratitude washing over her in waves. She only gave an understanding nod before the wisp flew away again, hurrying along to catch up to their beloved companion. With that last odd pair of spirits accounted for, October once again curled herself around the warmth of her lantern and settled into a comfortable position. As she felt herself dozing off into that deep sleep, she wondered what kind of world she would awaken to next year. If this year had truly been so painful, then there was no telling how much love would blossom as humanity sought to heal. Even if only that one soul would take her words to heart, she knew it would be a world deeply changed for the better.

44 notes · View notes

imagine-lcorp · 4 years

Text

Think About It (One Shot)

Request

fem!Reader and Lena where R is Winn’s older sister and like him, is very intelligent. Yet, unlike him, is more confident and a whole badass person 🤩 lena and r bump into each other when they’re both at the DEO. R and Winn are enthusiastically chatting about some nErDy stuff and while Lena is talking to Supergirl, she catches R in the corner of her eye and is absolutely mesmerized

A/N: I guys, so we are back!! I’m sorry it’s taking a shot ton of time from me to write but i’m trying to get my shit together over here so that’s a work in progress but remember it is my mission to finish your request so pls don’t worry! Now, kudos to the dear anon that sent this one, i hope you like it! love ya guys :)

Lena Luthor x Schott Fem!R//Word Count: 2,008

-------------------------------------------------------

The DEO had been relatively quiet during the whole day as there seemed to be nothing that could disrupt the calm that surrounded the whole place. There had been no threats of any kind. All hostile aliens were already on their cells, and the agents had been going about their day without interruption. Nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen, and it almost felt like a well deserved day of rest considering the last threat they had to face. Reign and the Worldkillers had given the world a show to remember and everyone was still trying to go back to some sort of normalicy.

J'onn and Alex had been in the main office, discussing what she needed to know as the soon to be new director of the DEO. Part of the Legion of Superheros was still around, taking care of the last details before returning to their own time. Supergirl was close to the labs, thanking Lena for basically saving everyone's lives with the Harun-El.

It could have been one of the quietest days at the DEO had it not been for the sudden bickering that filled the lobby.

"It is not." Winn's voice echoed through the walls.

"It is." Your voice came almost instantly.

"It's not!" "It is!"

It kept going and going until the voices reached the center of the lobby and everyone turned their heads to see who was causing such a fuss.

"(Y/N), come on! Those are high tech machines, what's not to love about them." It was Winn who kept going about it.

"Look, I totally get it." You said as you walked through the lobby. "You wanna have your fun punching giant monsters in your giant robot? That's great! But they are unpractical."

"They are not. You're creating a line of defense against big alien creatures, fighting fire with fire."

"The thing is they are purely mechanical bodies fighting sentient creatures that obviously have a huge mobility advantage. Why don't you use biological weapons instead and end the job faster?"

"You serious?" Winn stopped in the middle of the lobby. "Bio weapons is the last thing you want to use. Do you wanna endanger the whole population?"

"Alright, alright. I'll give you that." You stopped too and turned to look at your brother. "But it is still unpractical a waste of resources because you cannot fight, guess what?"

"What?" Winn crossed his arms.

You gave him a cheeky smile, like you always did when you were sure you were about to end an argument. "Physics."

Even though you were sure that would end the discussion, it only helped to increase the debate between you two.

Lena, who had walked outside the labs along with Supergirl to find out what was happening, became pretty interested in the discussion you were having. First, because she had never seen Winn fight with anyone like that and second, because she had never seen you before, and once her eyes were on you it was almost impossible to take them off.

"What are they talking about?" She asked Supergirl, imagining her super hearing could help her have a better grasp at the debate.

"Uh, something about giant robots?" Supergirl shrugged and smiled fondly at the scene. She had seen this kind of fight between the Schott siblings, and she knew this was the way you usually showed your affection to each other. "You never really know with those two."

"Who's that?" Lena asked.

"That's (Y/N), Winn's older sister."

"I didn't know Winn had a sister."

"Well, there she is." Supergirl smiled, noticing the way Lena looked at you. "She's great, I hope you get to meet her tonight."

"Tonight?" She raised her eyebrows.

"The Legion of Superheroes is leaving, and Winn along with them. We organized a little farewell party, so she came." Kara turned to see you and your brother still arguing. "You're staying for the party, right?"

"I don't know." Lena shrugged. "There's a lot I still have to do at L-Corp."

"Come on, Miss Luthor. I think you could use a little distraction too after all that has happened."

"I'll think about it." She said as she watched you two.

She could hear a bit more of what you were talking about. It was a really heated argument indeed about giant robots and the impossibility of creating such machines with the current technologies available. She could see, after a minute observing you, that this conversation was now just an excuse for you to annoy your brother. Every time Winn tried to make a valid point to his arguments you came with another equally valid. The fight couldn't seen to find an end, until J'onn came out of his office to talk you down.

"Agent Schott?" He stood in front of you both and Lena watched as you stood watching your brother trip over his words.

"Sir-I m-mean- J'onn!" He said.

"Is everything alright?" J'onn asked with a very paternal frown.

"I'm sorry, yes." You steeped out saving your brother the embarrassment Lena could see on your brother's red face. "My brother and I were just having a little discussion over practical armament. Also, I'm (Y/N) Schott, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, sir."

Lena watched as you smiled at him confidently, as if you were meeting an old friend instead of your brother's boss, and without noticing she smiled too. Then she saw J'onn take you and your brother to his office and with that you disappeared for a while. Lena imagined they had invited you to the party and the idea of staying a little longer didn't seem too bad.

Meanwhile, once J'onn got you in his office, he spoke with you and your brother about the current DEO situation. You had had an idea of what this visit was all about the moment Winn had invited you to come with him and, as J'onn kept talking, you finally got the whole reason why you were there. To join the DEO.

"Would you consider it at least?" J'onn asked after he stated the final proposition.

"Yes, she will." Winn looked at you with a raised eyebrow. "Right?"

"I'll think about it, sir." It was the only thing you said before leaving J'onn's office.

Once you were out you could sense your brother about to have some words with you, not believing you hadn't say yes right away to the possibility of working for the DEO, when J'onn opened his door again and called your brother for a private conversation and saved you the annoyance.

"We'll talk later." He said to you with a frown before leaving you.

You waved at him with a cheeky smile before he closed the door and you were then alone in the middle of the hallway not really knowing where to go or what to do. You decided to walk back to the lobby, thinking about the position J'onn had offered to you and how it hadn't been much of a surprise.

When Winn had called a few days ago, you could hear in his voice the sort of seriousness and solemnity that was reserved for the great moments and great tragedies. Like when your he had told you your father had escaped from prison or like when he told you he was joining a secret agency. So when he told you he was joining a team of superheroes from the future, you started to think about what it meant for you.

You didn't want to take his place as you knew it could be impossible to replace him but you also knew it was probably the only place were you would be able to check on him constantly and without further trouble. But Winn, being the brother he was, wasn't going to leave you all by yourself. He had probably been the one to suggest you took his place in the agency, first, to have someone as capable as him to assist his friends, second, to finally have all of his family in one place and, third, so you could have someone to rely on once he was gone. It was both a sweet and sad gesture and it made you realize how much you were going to miss him.

Thankfully, your mind found a little distraction while looking for the nearest exit.

The laboratories seemed to be abandoned as everyone else was preparing for the party and you glanced at something quite interesting inside of one of the rooms. You took a look at the hallway and considering you were alone you thought it wouldn't harm to peek a little. Inside, the room was illuminated by the artificial light and in the middle of it there was a work table with some kind of rock on display. At first, it didn't seem like much until you looked at the screens showing its molecular composition. You took the safety glasses that laid around and took a closer look at it.

"It isn't very polite to trespass inside someone else's lab." You barely flinched at the voice behind you and kept looking at the rock.

"Sorry, didn't mean to sneak upon your work but it looked pretty interesting." You took a step back from the table, took the glasses off and turned to see the person behind you.

"That's Harun-el. Krytonian mineral." The rock was instantly forgotten as she walked towards you with crossed arms and a little smile, and you were caught by her green eyes.

"Oh, wow, no wonder why Winn likes it in here." You said looking at her and then cleared your throat. "Uh, what does it do? Found anything about it yet?"

"Considering this is a highly secret agency and this a highly secret investigation, I can't say much, unfortunately." She pretended she didn't hear your first comment.

"Right, right, sorry again." You put the glasses back in the table. "Also, I don't think we have been introduced. I'm (Y/N) Schott."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Lena Luthor." She uncrossed her arms to shake the hand you were offering.

"Are you serious?" You replied with raised eyebrows. "I'm a, uh, big fan, by the way."

"Thank you, (Y/N)." You saw her smile and were grateful she kept talking to you. Lena herself felt her cheeks turn a bit red at your compliment. It was hard to imagine how someone like you could like her.

"So, you are here often? I mean, you work for the DEO?" You asked.

"Yes and no. I assist the DEO in some cases. I do not work for them." She turned to look at the Harun-el. "What about you? You came to work for the agency?"

"No, I guess I just come to say goodbye to my brother. But I haven't decided yet."

"Oh, that's sad." She said looking at you with curiosity. "I might have been open to share some details of my investigation, seeing as you're interested in it."

"If you put it that way, I might also have a very compelling reason to accept the job offer but...I would be more interested in sharing a drink with you, Miss Luthor." You thought for a moment about your words and finished with a little smile. "If you were interested, of course."

"Well, first you have to accept the job, right?" You watched as she walked outside the lab. "And I hope this isn't the last time we talk."

You followed a step behind. "Aren't you staying for the party, Miss Luthor?"

"Maybe not for this one." She stopped for a second to consider it. "But if you have a welcome party, I'll think about it." She turned to smile at you and turned around keeping her pace.

As you watched her go, you decided working for the DEO wasn't such a bad idea. You could check on your brother from time to time, and the job offer wasn't so bad. And of you had the change to work with Lena Luthor, what else could you ask for?

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor imagines #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor x female reader #Female reader #fem!reader #fem #schott!reader #schott reader #lena luthor x you #lena x reader #lena x you #request #one shot #think about it #schott sibling

400 notes · View notes

bluescluelessly · 4 years

Note

So, when Sith!Obi-Wan kills Qui-Gon, what will happen to Anakin? Will he be trained as a Jedi, will him and Shmi stay with Obi-Wan? Can they have a good relationship?

PART 1 | PART 2 | KING KENOBI | JEDI PADMÉ

°| PART 3 ●.*•

longish post, hit J to skip on desktop

[Rating: Teen] | funeral, reverse au, pre-obikin, death/murder mention, imposter syndrome

°|●.*•

Qui-Gon Jinn’s funeral is a solemn event.

As a former initiate, Obi-Wan is allowed to attend. And though he would rather not go, it would be suspicious for him to avoid it; so he goes, and Anakin sticks close to him the whole time.

He finds himself gravitating towards Padmé. She has a calming presence in the force, even so soon after the loss of her Master.

Obi-Wan feels like an imposter here. He is no Jedi. He killed the man every person here is mourning. He would rather crawl out of his own skin than stay here a moment longer.

When it's drawing to an end, a tug at his funeral cloak gets his attention, and his gaze falls downward to where Anakin is looking at him, eyes full of worry.

"Obi-Wan... what happens to me now?" The child asks, and Obi-Wan instantly regrets his self-centered worries. He bought Anakin's freedom, and with Jinn gone, Anakin is looking at him for guidance in his new future.

Weighing the politeness of it and deciding that no one will think him rude for comforting a child, Obi-Wan kneels to speak to Anakin. "You can do whatever you want now, Anakin. Your Mother has found enjoyable work as a handmaiden to Queen Sabé, you could go with her if you'd like. You said you want to be a pilot; we have schools on Stewjon if you'd like to come with me and learn there. Whatever you want to do, Anakin, I will help you to do it."

The boy nods, keeping his voice hushed. "... Master Qui-Gon said I could be a Jedi... but, the other Jedi didn't want me to be trained..."

Obi-Wan wishes he could help with that... but of all the things he can do, forcing the jedi to take on an initiate so old, when he himself was rejected...

That's not within his power.

He is about to say as much when another body joins them, Padmé taking a knee by Anakin's side.

"Ani," she starts, tone kind and strong. "My Master promised you could be a Jedi, and if that's what you want, you can be. I've seen what a good heart you have; I will train you myself whether the Council allows it or not."

Obi-Wan smiles, half out of relief and half in admiration. He realizes he was silly to ever hold resentment for Padawan-- no, Knight Naberrié, now. She is kind and good, and has let Anakin and Obi-Wan into her heart without question.

Anakin lights up as she offers, looking truly hopeful for the first time since he woke up and found out Qui-Gon Jinn was dead. "You would?" He asks, as if he can't quite believe it.

"I will," she promises. "If you will accept me as your teacher, I would be happy to train you as my padawan learner."

Anakin looks as if he wants to give a happy shout, but seems to remember his surroundings, and simply nods. "Yes, I want you to teach me."

Obi-Wan lets them be, staying kneeling but turning his eyes back to Qui-Gon's pyre.

He shouldn't be here. He felt sick even thinking of being here, and it's a wonder he hasn't revisited his breakfast yet.

When he can leave, return to Jango and his ship and get off of Coruscant, he'll feel better. Hopefully.

That won't be for some time yet, of course-- Palpatine requested to see him. He will likely need to explain why it's going around that he killed Maul... not a conversation he's looking forward too.

His heart is heavy still when arms wrap around him, surprising him out of his thoughts.

It's Anakin, leaning awkwardly over his knee to hug him.

"Hello there," he says gently, putting a smile back on his face as he returns the hug easily. "What's this for?"

"You're sad," Anakin says, "I can feel it. And... Master Naberrié is gonna train me, so I have to say goodbye to you... I wanted to give you a hug. And this," he says, pulling away to pull a carved wooden charm out and hand it to the king. "You freed me and my mom... I wanted to thank you... I know it isn't much, but I want you to remember me and my mom when you see it, and remember you're a good person, one of the best I've ever known, really." The young boy is so earnest and kind, it makes Obi-Wan's chest tight, knowing that Anakin believes in him without even knowing what he's done. "And I'm gonna be a jedi, so maybe someday, I can help you, too."

The boy feels so light and good in the force, Obi-Wan can't help but smile, even with all his self doubts. "I don't think I'll need this to remember you, Anakin Skywalker," he starts, tone fond. "You or your mother. But thank you, I will keep it close and safe... and maybe we will cross paths again. You have a good heart, you will be a great jedi, I know it."

"I wish you could be a jedi too," Anakin responds, a little petulant. "You killed a Sith, you'd think they would knight you just for that."

The young royal shakes his head, eyes crinkling with fondness. "The Force has other plans for me, Anakin. I am right where I'm supposed to be." In any case, he has other responsibilities, now. Even if they would offer him knighthood, he has an entire planetary system to look after. He can't run off to be a jedi now, no matter how much he would like to.

Anakin pouts, but nods his understanding. The funeral is over now, and most of the attendees have left. Padmé waits patiently off to the side, letting Anakin say his goodbyes.

"I best not keep you from your Teacher any longer," the young king says, taking the wooden charm and carefully pulling the leather cord over his head, minding his jewelry so it doesn't get caught. "And I have my own duties to get to." He takes Anakin's forearm, gripping it in a traditional Stewjoni sign of kinship-- used as both a greeting and a farewell. Anakin catches on, gripping his forearm as well. "Next time I see you, I want to hear all about your Jedi training. Be good for Master Naberrié, and I'm sure you'll do fine."

Anakin looks pleased at the assurance, nodding happily. "Okay, Obi-Wan! I'll see you again soon, I hope!"

Hope is a dangerous thing, Obi-Wan thinks but does not say.

"I hope so too, Anakin," he answers, standing and ruffling the kid's hair. He looks over at Padmé. "He's all yours now, sorry for keeping you."

"It's alright," she tells him warmly. "It's good form to thank people for their kindness, and to say goodbye to friends. I wish you well, Your Majesty. May the Force be with you."

"Please," he states, deciding he rather likes Padmé now, despite his initial introduction to her. "Call me Obi-Wan, Master Naberrié. I apologize for my previous rudeness, you have been nothing but kind, and I would like to consider you a friend as well."

This seems to cheer her up, and she gives him a pleased smile. "Of course, Obi-Wan. I would like to consider you a friend as well, please, call me Padmé."

"Thank you, Padmé, he responds, bowing his head. "And may the Force be with you both. Until we meet again, my friends."

He waves, and both Anakin and Padmé return the gesture as they part ways, Anakin following dutifully by Padmé's side.

Obi-Wan barely gets out of the funeral chamber before he's stopped, another jedi in his path.

And not just any jedi, either...

"Hello, Master Yoda," he greets.

The diminutive Grandmaster of the Order eyes him carefully. "Walk with me, you will."

"I must be getting to the Senate, I have a summons from the Chancellor, perhaps after--"

"Know this, I do." The green creature tells him, giving him a curious sort of look. "Not long will this take."

Obi-Wan feels like a youngling again, following Master Yoda as he did many times in the crèche. They continue to march towards the senate, so he can't really complain. "I don't understand, Master," he says after a moment of silence. "Am I in trouble for something?"

Yoda hums pensively. "Hope not, I do." He doesn't bother to elaborate, as cryptic and frustrating as he remembers.

Obi-Wan has a bad feeling about this.

#star wars #king kenobi au #casecreates #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #anakin #padme amidala #jedi padme #qui gon jinn #part 3 #reverse au #pre-obikin #the phantom menace au #yoda being yoda #just in case i need a queue

45 notes · View notes

hysterialevi · 3 years

Text

Eitr | Chapter 2

Fanfic summary: In an alternate universe where the Raven Clan is wiped out, Sigurd ends up being rescued by the son of a Saxon ealdorman, and is tasked with being the boy’s new bodyguard. Upon meeting the boy’s father however, Sigurd soon realizes that the ealdorman is responsible for his clan’s destruction, and secretly plans for revenge while hiding behind the guise of a Norse pagan turned Christian.

Point of view: third-person

Pairing: Sigurd Styrbjornson x Male OC

This story is also on AO3 | Previous chapter | Next chapter

FORANGAL CASTLE, WEDENSCIRE

MORNING

Hurrying down the steps of the castle as her dress frolicked around her legs, Lady Edlynne rushed to catch up with her brothers before they could scurry off into town without her, and leave her at the mercy of Bishop Hundwerth once again.

Apparently, the head chef of the castle was in need of some trout for the meal she had planned for this evening, but instead of relying on one of her servants like she normally did, the ealdorman’s sons had offered to fetch it for her, and were preparing to leave from the main gate.

Unfortunately for Edlynne however, her name had been left out of their festivities as per usual, and thus left the girl at a disadvantage considering how she only learned of their plans mere moments ago.

But this time, she was not willing to stay back as she normally did. The dreary walls of the castle had caged her in for far too long already, and with Hundwerth constantly hammering his piety in her ears, the young noblewoman was in desperate need of some fresh air.

Jogging up to the main gate, Edlynne found her brothers conversing at the stable as they readied their horses for the journey ahead, giving them a light snack to start off the new day.

Her twin brother, Joseph, was currently sat on top of a rather wobbly looking fence with an apple in his hand, but seemed to fare alright thanks to his lean frame. He was only a boy of sixteen years and hardly stood any taller than his sister, but even then, some still considered him to be particularly scrawny for a nobleman.

As for their elder brother, Edric, his appearance was more akin to that of a soldier than a lord. Despite not even being thirty years of age yet, the young man already had his fair share of battle scars and sported a rough beard, giving him a much more weathered temperament than his father probably would’ve liked.

He constantly carried a sword around with him and armored himself with a black gambeson, but still made sure that the cross hanging from his neck was visible underneath the collar of his cape.

Both of them were a welcome sight to see after Edlynne’s many days of being trapped in the castle, but with the absence of their eldest brother Gareth looming over them like a stormy cloud, she couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sadness suddenly gripping at her heart.

“Joseph, Edric!” She exclaimed, running up to them. “Wait!”

The two boys turned their heads towards her, clearly surprised to see her face this morning.

“Sister,” Joseph greeted, “I didn’t expect to see you here today. It’s been ages since I last saw you out in the sun. Will you be joining us in town?”

Edlynne sighed out of annoyance. “God, I hope so. Bishop Hundwerth hasn’t dared take his eyes off me ever since I spoke of my interest in the Danes’ religion. He fears that their influence will corrupt me.”

Edric chuckled at that. “You thinking of converting to paganism, Edlynne?”

“Hardly,” she denied. “I will always be a Christian at heart, but I do not think it is wrong to have an interest in other religions either. How can we expect to resolve the conflict in our shire if we will not even attempt to understand our enemies?”

Joseph took a bite out of his apple. “Well, some people would consider that to be heresy.”

Edlynne crossed her arms. “Some people would see us at war for another century.”

The eldest threw a grin at his brother. “You hear that, Joseph? Wise beyond her years, this one. We should give her a seat next to father.”

Edlynne smiled in response. “You jest, but I’ll have you know that father has sought my counsel in the past. He spoke to me last night, in fact. Though... it’s not very often he actually listens to me, I’ll admit.”

Joseph hopped off the fence. “Well, whatever you do, just make sure he doesn’t hear of your fascination with the Danes. You know of his feelings for them.”

The girl’s expression drooped with sorrow. “Yes, I do. He’s changed so much ever since... well, you know.”

Falling into a state of heartache, the young woman quickly snapped out of her grief when she realized how she had dampened the mood and forced herself to push her thoughts aside, not wanting them to overtake her again.

“But... let us not dwell on that. You two have a busy day ahead of you, and my chances of getting any fresh air dwindle with every minute Hundwerth isn’t near me. So let’s get going.”

Edric climbed on top of his horse, taking hold of the reins. “Alright. Edlynne, you go with Joseph. I’ll take my own mount. We’ll ride the path west of here, and cut through the woods into Agenbury. It’ll take longer, but the main roads are laden with soldiers nowadays. I’d rather not weave my way through them.”

Taking a seat behind her brother as he plopped himself onto the saddle, Edlynne wrapped her arms around Joseph’s waist and held him tightly as the three of them began trotting through the main gate, bidding the castle farewell.

It was a bright morning today, blotted with only a few clouds. The sun shone freely throughout the sky despite the residue from the recent storm, and thanks to the rain that poured on Wedenscire the previous night, a fresh layer of mist hung over the land, catching the light in a fashion that was worthy of paintings.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Edlynne remarked. “And also much colder than I remember. Though, that’s probably due to the storm. Still, it’s nice to be outside of the castle walls again. I can’t recall the last time father allowed me to leave. Thank you both for letting me come with you.”

“Of course,” Joseph replied. “I fear that Edric and I were also in need of some time away from Forangal. That’s why we volunteered to help Nelda. The poor old woman’s practically locked herself in the larder this morning, trying to prepare this meal for us.”

“How is Nelda?” Edlynne asked. “I’ve not spoken to her in ages.”

“Oh, you know her,” Joseph said sarcastically. “Cranky, old bat as usual. Still the same woman that used to chase us around the castle after we’d steal the treats when we were children.”

Edric butted in. “And then blame me for it.”

Joseph laughed at that. “Do you remember that one time Edlynne and I brought in that stray cat from the streets? And we accidentally left it alone in the kitchens? The wretched animal had buried its face in a meal she was making for father, and sent it spilling all over to the floor. I thought Nelda was going to butcher us all that day -- cat included.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. She dragged the two of you fools over to me later that day and shouted with a fury so hot that I could’ve sworn I saw flames on her breath. Gareth had to calm her down whilst we ended up cleaning the kitchen.”

Edlynne smiled at the memory. “Gareth always had a way with Nelda. He knew how to ease her temper.”

“Indeed,” Joseph said. “Though, I think he had that effect on everyone. Something about him always brought peace to other peoples’ hearts. He knew how to unify them in times of division, and comfort them in times of war.”

A morose sigh escaped the sullen boy. “Things will... not be the same without him around. I know it’s been over a month since he died, but... I fear the wounds are still fresh.”

“Aye.” Edric agreed quietly. “He was a good brother to us all. And an even better friend. It was a tragic loss, the day he died. I think father’s taken the brunt of it.”

A sudden thought crossed the man’s mind. “Edlynne, you said you spoke with him last night?”

The girl nodded. “I did.”

“And... how did he seem? Did he seem better to you?”

Edlynne stuttered, unsure of how to describe their encounter. “I... I don’t know, to be honest. He appeared to be doing alright, but it felt like he was wearing a mask. As if... he was simply putting on a strong face for everyone else’s sake. Deep down though, I think he’s still hurting.”

“Of course he is,” Edric noted. “He lost one of his children. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare.”

Joseph raised a question. “What exactly happened to Gareth, anyway? I know he was killed near Grantebridge, but father has yet to give us any further details.”

“That’s because you would not wish to hear them,” his brother explained. “Believe me. All you need to know is that a clan of Danes killed him. The Raven Clan, specifically.”

The name was unfamiliar to Edlynne. “The Raven Clan? Who are they?”

“You haven’t heard of them? They’ve been causing quite a stir in Mercia -- killing kings and crowning new ones. From what I understand, they’re the ones who helped the Ragnarssons remove Burgred from his throne.”

“But why kill Gareth?” Joseph asked. “What could they possibly gain from killing the son of an ealdorman? Aside from a lifetime of conflict, that is.”

Edric sighed solemnly. “I do not know their reasons, nor their justifications. But you would do well not to get caught up on it. All that matters now is that Gareth is at peace. He was a devote Christian, and he now joins our mother in Heaven, forever to be at God’s side. He would not want us to sulk. So keep your chins up -- both of you -- and let us carry on with our day.”

~~~~~~~~~~

A WHILE LATER

AGENBURY

Finally arriving at Agenbury, the three siblings slowed down to a halt as the peaceful settlement came into view, decorating the flat horizon with a quaint series of houses and shops.

The quiet town seemed to be the same as usual -- lunatics and all -- and despite the hefty toll the war had taken on its people, everything appeared to be in working order.

The fisherman’s wife, Ardith, remained attached to her husband’s stall as always, and with the unpleasant stench of freshly-captured fish to start off her morning, the permanent scowl on her face only seemed to deepen.

“There’s Ardith,” Edric pointed out. “She’ll have the trout we need.” He climbed off of his horse, leaving it near the main entrance. “Come along then, you two. Let’s finish this quickly.”

Mirroring their brother’s actions, Joseph and Edlynne unmounted their horse before following the young man into town, hanging behind him as he navigated his way through the scattered groups of civilians.

Many of the town’s residents seemed to eye the noble family with a wary gaze -- which was uncommon for their people -- and the further they stepped into the watchful settlement, the more everyone’s voices seemed to lower into hushed tones.

“Is it just me,” Joseph whispered among them, “or does it feel... odd here today?”

Edlynne narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “No, it’s definitely not just you. The people here seem frightened. It’s almost like the whole town is... waiting for something. Do you reckon something happened before we arrived?”

“It’s most likely because of the war,” Edric assumed. “I know the conflicts in Wedenscire have had a rough impact on these people. Who knows what kind of horrors they’ve had to endure at the hands of the Danes? Though... there don’t seem to be any signs of a raid.”

Joseph disagreed. “If there had been a raid, we would’ve heard about it. This is something different.”

“I suppose we’ll find out, given enough time. Just keep your wits about you, and try not to alarm anyone.”

Carrying on with their plans, the three of them casually walked up to Ardith’s stall as the woman focused on organizing her collection of fish, stopping only to greet the peculiar customers that had suddenly shown up at her shop.

“Hello, Ardith.” Edric said, deterring the woman’s attention.

“Oh, good morning, milord!” She said in surprise. “I was not expecting to see you here today. Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m just here to pick up some trout for Nelda back at the castle.”

The stout woman rested a hand on her hip. “Ah, I see. Normally, it’s her servants that come by, but I won’t turn away a friendly face.”

Her expression grew dim. “I’m... so sorry about what happened to Gareth, Edric. We received the news not too long ago. He was loved by many people in Agenbury. It’s such a shame that he had to depart from this world in so brutal a manner. He will be missed.”

Edric nodded in agreement. “Indeed. His death has affected us all, I fear.”

“And Aegenwulf? How does your father fare?”

The young man shrugged in uncertainty. “Hard to say. He keeps his head high and does what he must to protect this shire, but he bears the burdens of twenty men combined. I do not envy his position.”

Ardith gave him a look of sympathy. “Aye. But have no fear, Edric. Your father’s always been a fighter. Trust me. I’ve known him since before he had any grey in his hair. He will come through. I know he will.”

“Thank you, friend. Your words bring me comfort.”

Joseph jumped into the conversation, inquiring about the rest of the town. “Ardith, do you have any idea why Agenbury’s so on edge today? The town carries a strange mood.”

The woman nearly offered a response, but bit her tongue in hesitance. “Y-Yes, but I do not wish to burden you with our troubles, young lord. I imagine you’ve enough of your own already.”

Edlynne took a step towards the stall. “Please, Ardith. If something has happened in this town, we’d like to help. You’re our people, after all.”

Ardith let out a deep sigh and crossed her arms, glancing back at her house.

“I-It’s my husband, Wilfred,” she said quietly. “He went fishing at the harbor this morning as he always does, but... instead of returning with a sack of fish, he came back with a bloody Dane...!”

Edric paused in alarm upon hearing that. “What? A Dane? In Agenbury?”

“Believe me, I was just as shocked as you. Apparently, Wilfred found him washed up on the shore, beaten and wounded. By whom or what, I don’t know, but he already looked dead by the time my husband dragged him back.”

Joseph decided to ask for more information. “Do you have any idea who he is? Or where he came from?”

Ardith shook her head. “No. We’ve yet to speak to him. He’s been unconscious ever since Wilfred brought him back from the harbor.”

The boy let out an uneasy breath. “Father’s not going to like this. He’s been tense enough already ever since Gareth died. If he finds out that a Dane has infiltrated the town...”

Edlynne cut him off. “He won’t. Not yet.”

Her twin quirked a brow. “What do you mean, not yet? He’s the ealdorman, for God’s sake. He has to know.”

“We can’t tell him about this. Not for the moment, at least. If father learns about this Dane’s presence, he’ll have him killed for sure.”

Edric scowled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

The noblewoman remained staunch in her belief. “Listen, both of you -- I know everyone’s still hurting from Gareth’s death, and believe me, I am too. But we could learn something from this Dane. He might be useful to us.”

Edric wasn’t entirely convinced yet. “We don’t even know if this man speaks our tongue, Edlynne. And if he does, there’s no guarantee he’ll help us anyways. You know the Danes. They’d rather pick death over dishonor.”

“Even then, I’d like to be certain of what this man’s intentions are before we start lopping off anyone’s heads. Let me speak to him, at least.”

Edric sighed in defeat, crossing his arms. “...Very well. If that is what you wish. But be careful, sister. We have no idea who this man is. And I’d rather we return to the castle in one piece.”

The young man turned back to Ardith, trying to calm the woman’s nerves. “Have no fear, old friend. We’ll speak to this Dane for you. He need not worry you any longer.”

She seemed pleased with that. “Thank you, Edric. I think everyone would feel better if we knew who he was, or why he was here. He should still be at home.”

“Then I will go there,” Edlynne said. “Joseph can come with me whilst you conclude your business here, brother. That way, we can get things done faster.”

“Alright,” Edric agreed. “I’ll meet you there once I’m finished here. Don’t do anything drastic before I arrive.”

The girl gave him a reassuring nod. “Of course.” She turned to her twin, beckoning him to follow. “Come on, Joseph. Let’s go see this Dane for ourselves.”

Allowing their paths to diverge for the moment, Edlynne and Joseph made their way to Wilfred’s house while Edric stayed behind to collect the fish for Nelda, clearly still unsettled by the strange turn of events.

He understood it was unfair to judge one Dane based on the actions of many others, but in a time of war, compassion and empathy were always a dangerous thing to gamble with.

Edric knew details about Gareth’s death that the twins didn’t. He knew how the Danes had butchered him and left his body for the ravens, and he knew that their people were not so easily negotiated with.

But still... he supposed he could let Edlynne investigate this Dane’s sudden appearance, at the very least. He may have been skeptical of this man’s motivations, but he could not deny that he was curious to learn the truth for himself.

And so, without another word said, Edric simply let the twins go about their business as he continued his conversation with Ardith, eager to get this errand over with.

Meanwhile, Edlynne and Joseph walked side-by-side as they approached the fisherman’s house, speculating amongst themselves about what this Dane could’ve possibly wanted. It wasn’t uncommon for a Northman to be in Wedenscire exactly, but Agenbury was a different story.

“A single Dane showing up on our shores...” Edlynne murmured, “what could it mean?”

Joseph shrugged nervously. “Nothing good, that’s for certain. I’m aware that not all of them are barbarians as Hundwerth would have us believe, but tensions have been rising ever since Gareth was killed. If we don’t sort this situation out properly, it could reach a breaking point.”

“Then let us make haste, lest it comes to that.”

Strolling up to the fisherman’s front door, Joseph firmly knocked on the wooden surface as the two of them waited for a response, silently observing the quiet house.

There didn’t seem to be much activity happening inside -- probably due to the Dane’s unconscious state -- and the only sounds they could hear were the rapid footsteps of a man coming to greet them at the door.

“Pardon my untidiness, whoever you are,” a gruff voice said from the inside as they moved around some objects to clear the way, “but I fear things have been rather... disorderly this morning.”

The fisherman swung open the door, revealing an old but lively man standing in the entryway.

“Now, then, how can I--” He came to a halt, his eyes widening in surprise upon seeing the twins.

“Lord Joseph...! And sweet Lady Edlynne. Well, I certainly didn’t expect to see you two here today. I suppose this morning’s just chock-full of unlikely guests, isn’t it? What brings you to my doorstep?”

Joseph beamed at the elderly man. “Hello, Wilfred. Your wife sent us. She said you had a... Dane problem?

Wilfred scratched the bald patch on his head, sighing in discontent. “Aye. The poor bastard. I found him this morning, lying unconscious and alone. He was laden with battle wounds, and covered in blood. I don’t have a clue why the river shat him out in Agenbury of all places, but I wasn’t about to leave a man to die. Saxon or not.”

Edlynne admired his compassion. “Then you’ve already done more than most. Has he woken up yet?”

“Nay. He’s been out cold ever since I brought him back. He spoke briefly when we first met, but it was mostly out of delirium. Couldn’t understand a word he said. You know the Danes. Bloody weird language, they have.”

“May we see him?” Joseph asked. “We’d like to speak with this man ourselves, if possible.”

Wilfred stepped off to the side, granting them entrance. “Of course. Do what you wish. Though, I’m not sure if he’ll wake up during your stay here. He was in a severely bad state when I found him.”

Strolling through the front door, Joseph and Edlynne welcomed themselves into the cozy atmosphere of Wilfred’s home as they gazed around in curiosity, anxious to see what this Dane looked like.

Joseph had already met a few of their people during his time with Edric and Gareth, but Edlynne on the other hand, had yet to meet a Dane for herself. Aegenwulf often kept them at a distance when it came to interactions with his daughter, and now that he had lost one of his own children to their axes, the girl imagined he would only grow more protective.

“Look,” she said with a soft gasp, “there he is.”

Following his sister’s line of sight, Joseph spotted the fallen Dane sleeping on the opposite side of the room, seemingly undisturbed.

He was currently resting on a makeshift bed that Wilfred had created, and was wrapped head-to-toe in an abundance of bandages. He looked like he was still breathing -- for the time being -- but just based on the amount of blood that was already seeping from his skin, Joseph started to wonder if they’d even get a chance to see him wake.

He appeared rather normal though, the boy thought. For a Dane. His skin was etched with many traditional Nordic markings, and the red hair on his head had been shaved in a fashion common with his people. Meanwhile, his beard remained bushy and untamed, and the calloused texture of his hands told Joseph he was no stranger to battle.

“Friendly looking fellow, isn’t he.” The boy remarked.

Edlynne walked closer to the man, driven by her fascination.

“I’ve... never seen a Dane before. Father has always done his best to keep me away from them, but... he looks surprisingly human. Bishop Hundwerth always makes it sound as if they’re the Devil himself roaming the earth.”

Joseph took a seat on a nearby chair. “Bishop Hundwerth would call it heresy if one of his priests farted too loudly in the chapel. Pay him no mind.”

The noblewoman turned back to the fisherman, asking him more questions.

“Wilfred, what was he like when you found him? I know you said he was hurt, but... how hurt, exactly?”

The old man exhaled deeply, crossing his arms. “Let’s just say I’m surprised he was alive to begin with. He had two bloody arrows sticking out of his chest, and his skin was torn up from getting sliced so many times. I don’t know much about their pagan gods, but they must be a protective bunch to pull him out of that.”

Joseph thought back to their talk with Ardith. “Your wife said you found him on the shore?”

“Indeed. I assume the river carried him here from upstream. Possibly from the north. He crawled out of it like a corpse rising from the dead.”

“Do you think he’ll live?”

Wilfred furrowed his brow in a grim manner. “I... I don’t know, Joseph. I’ve done everything I can to patch him up, but I’m just a simple fisherman at the end of the day. I’m no healer.”

Interrupting their conversation, a knock suddenly emitted from the door, leading all of them to bring their attention to the entrance.

“That must be Edric.” Joseph announced.

Allowing their new guest to come in, Wilfred stepped over the many items scattered around the house before opening the door, revealing Edric on the other side.

“Ah, hello, milord. Your siblings are here already.”

The young man poked his head in, greeting the twins with a new sack of fish on his shoulder.

“Well?” He said, walking into the house. “Have you two learned anything?”

Joseph shook his head. “Not much, I’m afraid. We’re fairly certain the river carried the Dane here from upstream, but other than that... all we have is speculation.”

Edric strode towards them, kneeling beside his sister. “Speculation won’t do us any good. We need to know for sure who he is, and what he wants. I assume he hasn’t woken up yet?”

“No. He’s been unconscious this whole time. We don’t even know if he’ll survive.”

Wilfred joined their side, offering his advice to Edric. “As I was explaining to your brother earlier, milord, the only way this Dane is going to survive is if you get him in the hands of a healer. I’ve done what I can to buy him some time, but... without proper medical treatment, I fear he may pass soon.”

Edlynne’s expression lit up with an idea. “Linette! Back at the castle! She could look after him. She knows what she’s doing.”

The look on Edric’s face alone was enough to make his disapproval clear. “What? You want to bring a Dane back to the castle? After what just happened with Gareth?”

“I know it’s risky,” the young woman conceded, “but he’s dying, Edric. He needs our help.”

“So do many of our own people.” He countered. “We need to save our resources for those we can trust; those who will fight for us. Not stray Danes that wash up on our shores.”

Edlynne almost appeared offended at that. “Brother, do you hear yourself? This man’s life is in our hands, and you’re willing to just throw it away? All because he’s a Dane?”

The older man fell silent for a moment, admittedly feeling somewhat ashamed of his words, but still obstinate in his opinion.

“I know it’s harsh, Edlynne, but you’ve not seen the horrors that have occurred between our people and the Danes. We’d be foolish to trust one, especially when we have no idea who he is. There’s also the fact that we’d have to keep his presence a secret. Until he wakes up, at least.”

“I think it’s worth it if it means we can save a life,” she replied. “I understand your fear, brother, but what sort of Christians would we be if simply stood by and watched this man die? His being a pagan doesn’t make him any less deserving of our help.”

Edric grew frustrated with his sister’s naivety. “It’s not just about the religion, Edlynne. It’s also about the war. There’s no love lost between Saxons and Danes, and for good reason. How do you think our friend here is going to react when he wakes up in a foreign castle, surrounded by hostile forces?”

The young woman frowned. “And what if he has a clan? What if they come looking for him? How do you think they’ll react when they find out we simply left him to die?”

Joseph shrugged in agreement. “She raises a fair point, Edric. If we help this man and he turns out to hate the Saxons, so what? We’ll have a castle full of guardsmen fighting against a single Dane. But if we don’t help him and his clan comes looking for him, we’ll have an entire army to deal with, plus anyone who’s allied with them. I say we bring him back. How much harm could he do in this condition, anyways?”

Edric sighed in defeat, finding himself at a loss for words. He really wasn’t fond of the idea of bringing a stranger back into the midst of their home -- especially when that stranger was a viking -- but deep down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

After all, what good was he as a Christian if he was not even willing to help those in need? He may have distrusted the Danes for their crimes in the past, but on the other hand, he had no way of indicating that this particular man had any similar motives.

For all he knew, this could’ve just been some poor soul who had gotten caught in the crossfire, and left for dead. There was nothing that could prove he had any intentions of doing wrong by their people, and... perhaps it would’ve been cruel to assume otherwise without even giving him a chance to wake up.

“...Alright, you two.” Edric finally said. “We’ll bring the Dane back to the castle.”

Edlynne beamed with appreciation. “You mean it?”

“Yes, but this will not bode well with father.”

Joseph dismissed the warning. “Father is blinded by his grief. He’ll understand eventually.”

Edric stood up from the floor and handed the sack of trout to his brother, giving him a new set of instructions.

“Here, take this. Ride back to Forangal. I’ll bring the Dane with me, and meet you two at Linette’s clinic later.”

Joseph groaned in effort as he lugged the sack over his shoulder, surprised at how heavy it was.

“Sounds good. Stay safe on the way back, brother. We promise not to tell father about this.”

“Good.”

Bringing his attention to Wilfred, Edric took out a few pieces of silver and placed them in the man’s hands, giving him an appreciative nod.

“Here, Wilfred. For your troubles.”

The fisherman smiled warmly. “Thank you, Edric. You’re far too kind.”

The nobleman chuckled. “My sister would disagree.”

Making their way out of Wilfred’s house, the siblings finally took their leave from Agenbury and swiftly returned to the stables, eager to ride back to the castle. They had no idea how well they’d be able to keep this a secret, considering all the prying eyes at Forangal, but the three of them were determined to ensure this man’s survival.

He could’ve been the key to all the conflicts that had arisen in Wedenscire. So many fights had broken out in the past few years between their people and the Danes, that a part of Edlynne hoped their new friend’s presence would help to ease the tensions.

Though, she couldn’t help but wonder if her elder brother was right. What if Edric turned out to be correct, and this Dane only ended up causing more trouble? Was it wise to trust a man so blindly?

Probably not, but that didn’t hinder her desire to help the wounded man. He was completely at their mercy in his current condition, and Edlynne did not have the heart to cast him aside, regardless of the risks.

So, with a nervous heart, the young woman simply followed her brothers out of town and prepared herself for the journey ahead, praying that it would not end in more bloodshed. She knew how adamant their father was in his hatred for Danes, and she hoped that he would be able to see past the grief that still held onto him so tightly.

Gareth would’ve vouched for peace, after all. He always favored the diplomatic route over unnecessary violence, and in light of recent events, Edlynne imagined he would’ve wanted them to save this man too.

It was the only right thing to do, Edlynne thought. And she did not intend diminish her brother’s legacy.

#assassin's creed valhalla #ac valhalla #sigurd styrbjornson #male oc #female oc #sigurd x male oc #ac valhalla fanfic #eitr

14 notes · View notes

heyitsani · 3 years

Text

I Keep My Eyes Wide Open All the Time Chapter 4

Word Count: 6000

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major character death, Mentions of past rape/non-con (eventually)

Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne/Jon Kent (hinted?)

Summary: The loss of someone important changes all of their lives.

Notes: This. Is. Sad. This is your warning. I cried writing this and I hope that emotion is conveyed onto the screen for you. Next chapter still expected Friday!

If you have not read When You Move I Move, this one won’t really make much sense. So you can read that here: WYMIM

You can also read this chapter on AO3 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had been on his way to the kitchens in search of Ser Jason when he had noticed his mother hurrying out of the castle, dark cloak thrown over her deep green gown she wore for the day. It wouldn’t have taken his notice if the manner of dress wasn’t so...common for someone like her. It was no more elegant than what a commoner of the lower levels would have worn. And after all the lectures he had sat through of her trying to convince him to never lower himself to the status of the people he was to rule, he found it curious she would be wearing that dress.

“Good afternoon, Your Highness,” one of the staff members called out as they passed. He gave a hello back, but kept his focus on his mother.

In a split second decision, he turned and followed the woman out of the castle at a distance.

“Ser Roy, may I borrow your cloaks? I will explain the instant I return them,” Damian rushed toward the knight, who was chatting with another man Damian wasn’t sure he knew. The redhead regarded him for a moment with narrowed eyes before shrugging the black material off his shoulders and handing it over. “Thank you. Ser Kyle, hurry,” he called to his personal guard as he quickly tried to get his mother back in his sights.

The guard picked up his pace and caught up to his charge, brow furrowed as they kept to the shadows. “My Prince?” Damian shushed him when he spoke and kept his focus on his mother. He watched as she weaved in and out of the people milling about in the streets. She ignored vendors calling out about their goods and seemed to be focused on a particular destination.

“Hoods up,” Damian told Ser Kyle as he pulled the hood on the borrowed cloak over his head and saw Ser Kyle do the same out of the corner of his eye. “Keep to the shadows with me. I am not certain where she is going, but Mother is acting suspicious.”

Ser Kyle kept quiet and Damian chanced a glance at the man who Ser Jason had personally vouched to be his personal guard and found him watching the Queen as she continued to hurry along. “Ser Todd asked me to keep you safe. I cannot say for certain this is safe, but I will follow you until I deem it necessary to leave.”

That was good enough for Damian.

“Where do you think she is going?”

“If I had to hedge a guess, I would say The Narrows. She is not dressed for the upper levels. But no woman, not even your mother, would travel into Crime Alley on purpose.” That made sense. And the further into the city streets they got, the more accurate the assessment seemed to be. But what exactly was awaiting them once she reached her destination?

The lower into the city levels they went, the cooler the air got and the less people were out milling about. It made it harder to blend in with the crowd, but Ser Kyle seemed to know exactly where to go to be sure they stayed out of sight but kept the Queen in their sight. Damian allowed the guard to take the lead on following his mother and stayed a step behind so the older man could focus. When his mother glanced around before stepping into an alleyway, Ser Kyle tugged Damian into the alley just before and began looking around.

“What are you doing?” Damian questioned, frowning as the man glanced around the back of the building that separated them from his mother. When Ser Kyle said nothing, but waved him over, Damian finally caught on. There was a ladder leading to the rooftop and the pair quickly climbed it.

“You must stay quiet My Prince.” Damian simply nodded and followed the man to the edge before dropping down so they could peek just over roof into the alley below. The sight of his mother with her hood down was not surprising. The fact that she was in a quiet conversation with a soldier dressed in the garb from her home country, Nanda Parbat, was. To the point where he felt Ser Kyle grip his arm and his entire body tense.

Damian knew enough about his grandmother’s home country to know that they were on good enough terms with Gotham to be allowed into the borders, but that his great grandfather was not the kind of man to not keep tabs on all countries he was allies with.

“…You owe him much,” the home language of Nanda Parbat caught on a breeze and Damian could pick up bits and pieces. “Ra’s does not offer this lightly. Your son will bow to him.” That made Damian tense, pulling Ser Kyle’s attention from the pair below to the boy next to him. But Damian kept his focus on the two and strained to hear more.

“I will hold my end of the bargain. Or my life is forfeit.” The solider gave a nod and a bow before turning and walking away. He watched his mother look at a small vial in her hand before slipping it into a pocket in her cloak and returning the way she came.

Sitting up, Damian tried to sort through what the pair could have possibly been talking about. What was in the vial? Why did his mother owe the king of her homeland her son’s allegiance?

“Your Highness?”

Looking at Ser Kyle, Damian frowned and tried to think of an explanation. But there was none. Had she even done anything wrong when he didn’t have the whole story? Not by their word of law.

“My Prince, did you hear anything they said? I do not speak Arabic.” Without considering the consequences, Damian shook his head.

“I could not hear,” he lied, though he wasn’t certain as to why. “We should return before anyone else notices we have gone. I promised Ser Harper an explanation, but I do not know what kind of explanation this will be considering.”

He knew the older man was regarding him closely, but Damian also knew he could lie with the best of them. His mother had made sure he could play his cards close to his chest. This was one of the few times her lessons were actually useful.

For once he was grateful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Damian, come,” his father had said softly as he passed the room where he had been reading one of the books his mother had assigned him. Since it was an incredibly dull account of the history of Nanda Parbat, Damian was happy to mark his place and follow his father as they headed down the hall.

“Where are we going, Father?” He questioned, looking up at the man as they made their way closer to the exit of the castle.

“Ser Jason is to ride,” was the answer he received and the shortness made Damian frown. He hadn’t heard of any pods coming close. The last he had heard they were a fair ride away, but he wasn’t the Dragon Slayer. And only Ser Jason could really say if it were necessary for him to ride.

Bounding down the steps after his father, he smiled at the sight of the Slayer in his armor. Damian had always loved the gold and red he wore. The fierce strength the ensemble screamed. “My King,” Ser Jason greeted his father as Damian took the last few steps to reach them. “My Prince,” he said in a tone that Damian had come to recognize as one only used with him. His fatherly tone Damian had coined it.

“I received word that you are to ride.”

“There have been sightings coming through of a pod of three out near the Ethiopia boarders,” Ser Jason said as he straightened from his expected bow. A bow that was so pointless in his eyes. But propriety must stand, or so he had been told before.

“That is a far ride,” Damian said, surprised that the man would venture that far. He didn’t see the point of traveling such a distance when their lands were not in danger.

But the man nodded and looked down at him with wise eyes. “It is, but I would rather them not get closer to our lands. Not whilst we approach the dry season.” And he supposed that did make sense. Didn’t make the decision to go so far any easier to accept though. But Ser Jason was the one who knew how to handle these situations. And if his father trusted him, then Damian could. Even if his instincts told him something was very wrong with this.

“You go alone?”

“I do, for now,” Jason answered him. Damian could tell his father didn’t like that answer. He had seen that narrow eyed look plenty of times when he was speaking with his mother. But Ser Jason seemed to find it amusing instead of intimidating. “I have allies within the lands and can call upon them if the need arises,” he laughed softly, calming Damian’s own nerves that had asrisen.

Then he remembered.

“Will you bring the scale like you promised?” It had been promised so long ago, but Damian asked each time the man rode. At this point he didn’t even expect it anymore but enjoyed the laughter it brought to the older man’s eyes.

“I shall do my very best.” Damian let out a soft shout before smiling over at his father. With a nod from the king, Damian sent Ser Jason one last smile and farewell before he bounded up the stairs to return to his book he had abandoned earlier.

He had almost reached the study when another set of footsteps caught his attention. “Ah, Nephew! Where are you coming from?”

“Aunt Cass,” he greeted, stopping so the woman could catch up to him. “I was saying farewell to Ser Jason. He is riding after a pod near Ethiopia.” The look of surprise on his aunt’s face reminded him of his own concerns at the matter. “He said he didn’t want to risk them coming closer to our lands when the dry season was approaching.”

His aunt hummed and nodded, eyes drifting as she took in his words. But her reaction unsettled him. He knew the woman observed much and said little. She knew far more than most members of the family just because she watched more than she acted. And he often wondered what kinds of secrets she kept from them all for their own sakes.

He wondered how many secrets she had been told without anyone actually meaning to tell them.

“He is not wrong,” she murmured as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders and guided him in the direction he had previously been heading. “But you are worried, I can see it.”

“It’s so far. He doesn’t usually go so far.”

“But he told you why he was doing so.”

Damian shrugged. Sure, the man gave a reason, but that feeling of something being wrong still bothered him. It still told him there was more to the situation. “I do not know why, but I feel like that was not the full reason he was leaving.”

But his aunt didn’t say anything, she simply hummed again and walked with him. He didn’t know if she was waiting for him to say more or if she simply had nothing to add, but he could feel his shoulders tensing with each passing moment.

Once they reached the study he had been using, he stopped walking and his aunt paused with him.

“You should try not to worry about Ser Todd. He is the best of the line and he loves your father too much to not return to him.” Nodding, Damian let his shoulders fall and tried to convince himself that she was right. “But if you figure out why it is you feel this way, then you can always talk to me.”

“Thank you, Aunt Cass.” The woman nodded and leaned forward, giving him a hug before she continued down the hallway, leaving Damian to return to his lessons. But the nagging feeling in the back of his mind remained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thank you,” Damian said softly as he took the letter from his manservant as the tray with his breakfast was sat down on the small table he liked to take his first meal of the day at. At thirteen, he found he appreciated the quiet morning in his room as opposed to the lively breakfasts in the hall with the other members of the family.

Especially the mornings when Ser Jason was still out on a hunt. Meals were not the same when one of his fathers were missing.

Sitting on his plush chair, he carefully broke the official seal of the council and opened the letter. He couldn’t imagine what they could be sending to him in such an official capacity at this time of day, but he went along with it all the same.

But the words written on the parchment made his blood run cold.

And the paper hadn’t even hit the floor before he was throwing open the doors to his room and looking for a servant. “Please, have you seen my father this morning?” He gasped at the elderly woman carrying a stack of blankets and sheets.

“Yes, My Prince. I saw him rushing out of the castle not long ago. His personal guard was with him. Barely chanced a glance at anyone as he hurried. Must have been important,” she told him, and Damian called out a thank you before he ran off in the direction she had mentioned.

He didn’t look back when the sound of someone hurrying along behind him appeared, knowing it would be Ser Kyle since it was his job after all. He wasn’t sure where his father would have gone, at least not until he stepped out of the castle and realized.

The Sept.

“Your Highness, where are we going?” Ser Kyle questioned as they continued to hurry, almost running to get to the building Damian knew he would find his father in. “My Prince, what has happened?”

Pausing in his rush, he turned to face the man who’s heart he was probably about to break. “Ser Jason has fallen.” Ser Kyle paled and gasped out a ‘no’, shaking his head. And Damian wished he could say it was a cruel joke, a whim of a lie. But he could feel his own heart fracturing and he could only image what his father was feeling right then. “He has returned for his final rest and I must get to my father.”

The other man was silent, but nodded and they hurried to the Sept.

When they reached the building, Damian was unsurprised to find his father’s personal guard there, blocking entrance to anyone who might want it. But the instant Ser Victor spotted Damian and Ser Kyle, his eyes went from hard to incredibly sad, understanding.

“My Prince,” the guard gave a bow and stepped aside so Damian could head inside. “We shall keep unwanted persons out.” Glancing at Ser Kyle, Damian watched the other man take a few deep breaths before nodding and steeling himself. He was so thankful for the two of them in that moment, knowing that his father’s grief would be protected for the time being.

Stepping into the Sept was always a moment of wonder, even in the saddest of times, the room with it’s colored glass and natural light, was always breathtaking. In that moment though, Damian couldn’t take in the beauty. He couldn’t revel in the rainbow of colors that graced the floors and the sparkling of the metals embedded in the walls. He could only see the lower half of a body covered in a red shroud and the back of his father; shoulders low in grief.

“Father,” Damian called out softly, not wanting to startle the man. Or maybe he couldn’t speak louder if he had tried. He couldn’t be certain. He could be certain that he would never forget the look in his father’s eyes when the man turned to look at him briefly before turning back to look at Ser Jason’s body. “Father, I am so sorry.” He felt his voice crack on the apology, his own pain breaking through.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting out of his father in that moment, but he didn’t hesitate to take the older man’s hand when it was offered. Seeking the comfort of his father as well as trying to offer the man some of his own. But what could he possibly offer in a moment like this? What could he possibly do to make the pain less?

“Do you think he knew I thought of him as another father?” Because of course he had never told the man. Of course he had never said the words out loud, despite having felt the affection from a young age. King Richard and Queen Catalina might have been his biological parents but Richard and Jason were his parents in every other way. How could he not have loved the man his father loved so strongly? How could he not love the man who so obviously loved his father just as much? Who treated him as though he were of his own blood?

He didn’t look at his father when the man looked down at him. Instead, he kept his green eyes on the body of the man in question. “You love him so I, too, love him. He always had words of wisdom and tales of his travels. I will cherish those.” But that didn’t even breach the surface of how he really felt. It didn’t tell of the times they had spent laughing over a snack in the kitchens while the staff bustled around them. It didn’t tell of the encouragement that the older man had provided while Damian trained with the swords and learned to be the best fighter he could be. It didn’t tell of the quiet conversations between them in the library when his mother had gone too far. When she had forced him to cut off the only friendship he had ever cherished.

It didn’t tell of so many things he would hold close to his heart for his remaining days.

“He felt the same for you. He…” Finally glancing away from Ser Jason’s body, Damian looked up at his father and pressed his lips together to fight tears of his own. The man before him would never be the same, he knew that with every fiber of his being. He knew his father would never be the man he was. “I do not know that I will recover from this loss. I feel as though the world has been stripped of all its color, all its joy.” And what was he supposed to say to that? What comfort could a son give when a love like theirs had been stripped away?

Opening his mouth to say something, anything, he was cut off by the sound of one of the various guards who had apparently come to watch over them. “Your Majesty, your father is on his way. His manservant thought you would like the warning.”

His father nodded and Damian watched him reign himself in, in a way that he had only ever seen his father do it. It made him frown, heart aching more prominently for the man. That he felt he had to compose himself for the sake of his own father instead of allowing himself to just be honest in his pain. But when his father gave him a small, albeit sad, smile, he accepted the action.

“Would you like me to leave?”

“No, my son. I feel I would be much better should you be willing to remain at my side.” And though Damian felt it would be better for him to step out and let father and son be alone, the squeeze of his father’s hand put an end to that line of thought. “Father,” the man greeted as Damian spotted his grandfather hurrying down the steps.

“Richard, I am so sorry.” And while Damian had been concerned his father would try to hold it in while the former king was present, he was glad and heartbroken to watch that not be the case. He watched his grandfather gather his father into his arms and felt the quiet sobs like a knife to his heart. Never had he seen his father cry. There had been plenty of emotions he had seen in the other man, but never sadness in this way. Never sorrow.

Never grief.

It hurt to watch, to hear. But it didn’t make him want to run, it made him want to come closer, to provide comfort he wasn’t yet qualified to give. But he did what he could. He moved closer and grabbed onto his father’s cloak with the hand not still holding his and pressed close.

And the look in his grandfather’s eyes over his father’s shoulder told him he had made the right choice. That this was exactly where he needed to be right in that moment. That nothing else mattered. No one else mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had kept his gaze on his father for most of the meeting and he knew that most of the Council had done the same. The usually vibrant and cheerful king was dull in his smile and his eyes. Not that any of them blamed him for his current demeanor.

Not when Damian had spent the entire night up with the man as he cried silently into his pillow.

But the Council had been called and the discussion had been the procedure for the lack of a slayer, despite the body having only been in the Sept for a day. It almost seemed cruel to expect the king to go through this, but appearances had to be kept. Or so everyone told him when he had voiced his displeasure at forcing his father through this.

“The kingdom still needs their king and they do not know the connection between the two men the way those close to him do,” his grandfather had reminded him. But Damian knew most of the country at least suspected the truth of it all.

“Is there anything left to bring to the table?” One of the councilmen asked, standing in a spot a few seats down from where Damian sat just to the right of his father.

Pushing to his feet, he drew twelve sets of eyes to him as he took a deep breath. “Council, I know my presence is technically not one of authority yet, but I would like to bring forth a request regarding honoring our fallen Slayer.” There were some murmurs amongst those at the table and for a moment he thought he would be denied, but at the clearing of his father’s throat any complaints were kept silent. “For as long as our history has been told, we have celebrated and honored our royal members with the Feast of the Seven after their passing. I would like to formally request that we grant that honor to Ser Jason.”

“Impossible. It has never been done,” one of the older members called out from the far end of the table and Damian frowned, looking down at his father. The man was already looking up at him, pride and adoration in his sad eyes. At his nod, Damian steeled himself further.

“We have broken tradition plenty of times in the past,” he pointed out. “When King Thomas and Queen Martha were taken before their time, the Council granted the Feast to be fourteen days.”

“Because we were honoring them both.”

“But it was unnecessary as you were honoring them together. Ser Jason was not of royal blood, but he is one of us. My grandfather loved him as one of his own children. Other members of the family have loved him more deeply then they would ever be able to say,” he kept his voice steady, despite building emotion. Not just for the sake of his father but for his own. Because he loved the man more than he was allowed to admit without casting shame on his mother. “He was the last of a legacy and he deserves to be honored as such.”

One of the women near the middle of the table carefully stood and looked toward the king with a firm nod before sending a smile to Damian. “I second. The Kingdom of Gotham deserves to honor the Last Dragon Slayer and this would allow those who wish to travel into the city to pay their respects the opportunity to do so.”

“I third and call it to a vote.”

Dropping back down into his seat, Damian let his father slip his hand into his smaller one as they watched the council members go through the motions of the vote. Damian let out a relieved sigh when it passed unanimously.

“Thank you, My Son,” his father whispered, squeezing his hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Grandfather, may I speak with you?” Damian called out from the doorway of his grandfather’s study. The older man was seated at his desk, but his attention had been on the window instead of the papers in front of him. The tired, blue eyes of the older man turned to take in the sight of his only grandchild and waved him in.

“Of course,” he agreed, and Damian nodded, stepping fully into the room and letting the door fall shut behind him as he made his way closer to the desk. “Is everything all right?” And the question made Damian frown, wondering how he could answer it honestly. “Perhaps that is not the right question to ask. Given the situation.”

Sighing, the young man nodded and dropped down into one of the plush chairs. “I have a question regarding the pyre tonight.” His grandfather’s eyebrows rose, but he remained silent so Damian could say his piece. “I wish to break tradition again. I know we are giving…that we are honoring him with the Feast of the Seven, but I wondered if I might light the pyre after Father?”

Damian had studied up on and been to enough pyres to know that the acting King and the still living previous kings were the ones to traditionally light the pyre, especially when the person was of the high ranking Ser Jason was. But there had also been a few moments in time when that tradition had been broken under special circumstances.

“May I ask why?”

“He did not contribute to my blood, but he was still a father to me. I deserve the right to stand by Father’s side and say goodbye to…” He trailed off, looking down at his hands that he had clasped tightly in his lap. He hadn’t said his name since he had found out that he had been slain and he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to without a deep ache in his chest.

Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly and got himself under control. His mother’s voice sounded in his mind, telling him to act like the Crown Prince that he was. To act like a Wayne. His father had been strong outside of the moment in the Sept the other day and Damian knew he could do the same.

Once he felt like he had gotten himself under control, he looked up to find the former king regarding him sadly. “Though I thought of Jason as a son, I will relinquish my right to the pyre light. You may say goodbye to your father in this manner, if that is what you really want.”

“It is.” His grandfather nodded and leaned back in his chair.

“Tell me how my son is. I have not seen him since yesterday and no one I have asked has either.” Damian felt a sad smile curl his lips just slightly. He had left his father to come here. He had hardly allowed himself to be apart from the man since the Sept. Despite his mother’s protests and demanding he keep up with his studies, he had not allowed his father to be alone for long.

“He was sleeping when I came here. I have been close ever since hearing the news,” Damian admitted to his grandfather. The man looked relieved and pained at the news, a conflicting set of emotions if Damian had ever seen them. “I do not know how to help him other than make sure he sleeps, and he eats. I think the Feast will be good, give him something to focus on other than his broken heart. But until then, he deserves the chance to mourn in his own way.”

“It is good of you to look after him. That is not a burden a son should have to carry.” And perhaps his grandfather was right, but Damian couldn’t help but wonder who would carry it if he didn’t? Who else would his father allow himself to be honest around? Who else would he trust with this pain?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Everyone is already in place, Your Majesty,” one of the guards spoke softly. His father glanced back at him before looking to the guard and nodding. Without another word, Damian walked behind his father with his mother at his side and headed up the steps where the funeral pyre was being held. And in the short walk, Damian couldn’t help but marvel at the sight of all the people who had gathered to watch. People who had loved the man in their own way. Including the women from the local brothel that he had heard Ser Roy and Ser Kyle discussing on the training fields.

Damian had made a mental note to mention it to his father so they could be sure they were still looked after. But he had a feeling his father already knew. Even in the depths of his grief, he was still good at caring for his kingdom.

When his father took his designated seat, Damian came to a stop beside it and stood tall. With his mother so close, he knew it was expected of him to remain strong. He wasn’t sure how she would react to him being the second to light the pyre tonight, but he told himself whatever she did or said would be worth it. She had already proclaimed her displeasure at him having gotten Ser Jason honored with a Feast of the Seven. This couldn’t be any worse.

“It is no secret that House Wayne has always held the highest respect for those of the Dragon Slayer occupation, but Ser Jason always held a special place in our lives due to the fact that he was the last remaining slayer. The last of his line and the last of a profession of bravery and strength.” The words of his grandfather washed over him as he looked out over the crowd, taking in each of the faces as they listened. He watched tears fall and hands clasp together. He watched whispers and hugs of comfort. He watched people give to each other what he was not allowed to give to his father in that moment.

“We will honor Ser Jason Todd with the Feast of Seven Days as we do for members of the royal family because he is one of ours. The doors to the palace and sept will be open to each and every citizen of Gotham to pay their respects and to join us in our grief.” And despite his mother’s discontent at his actions regarding this, Damian felt his pride swell when he watched the approval of the citizens.

He hadn’t suggested it for them, he had done it solely for his father. But he was glad that they approved of the motion all the same. He was glad to give them something that had been somewhat selfish in its origin.

The movement of his father standing pulled Damian’s attention away from the crowd to the man as he walked toward Ser Jason’s closest friend to retrieve the torch to light the pyre. The look that passed between the two men was meaningful and Damian knew that Ser Roy was grieving just as much, though in a different manner, for the man they all had loved. He knew Ser Kyle, who he would find if he bothered to glance back, was struggling with the grief as well.

Something precious had been stolen and they were all struggling under the absence of it.

With a shaking breath, his father stood before Ser Jason’s shrouded body and looked out over the crowd. “To the last of the Dragon Slayers, to the greatest of the line, to the fallen soldier, and to the man behind the sword. The world is a colder, darker place without the splash of crimson from your cloaks and your sea colored eyes. May those of us who have been left behind honor your legacy and never forget your bravery. May we never forget your strength and your character. May we never forget your love and kindness to those who surrounded you.”

A scoff to his right drew Damian’s eye for a moment and though he couldn’t be certain, he was fairly sure it had come from his mother. But her stiff posture and blank face gave away very little. And not for the first time, his mind flashed back to the exchange between her and the guard from Nanda Parbat he and Ser Kyle had witness in the Narrows.

“You owe him much.”

But what did she owe King Ra’s for?

“Damian,” a voice cut through his thoughts, pulling his attention to his grandfather as he stood in front of him. With a nod, Damian moved forward and ignored the motion his mother made to try and stop him. He knew his grandfather had probably positioned himself between them on purpose, so he could step up behind his father.

No words were exchanged when the older man passed the torch to him, but he could she the surprise in his eyes. The question as to what was happening. But Damian ignored it in favor of stepping forward to the pyre to light the opposite corner that his father had started. And though he was expected to step away from the fire once the act was done, he felt he couldn’t move away just yet. The heat from the flame warming him, but the sight breaking him with each crackle.

Ser Jason had said this would happen. That there would come a time when Damian and his father would have to bury him. Not because he wasn’t good at his job or that he was reckless, but because that was the way of the Slayer. Families always buried them long before they joined them. And though he had believed the man, he had hoped beyond hope that Ser Jason would be wrong. That this once he would be proven incorrect.

“I’ll take that, My Prince,” Ser Roy said softly as he stepped up next to Damian. Glancing up at the older man, Damian allowed him to take the torch but still did not move. There was a beat of silence and Damian found himself waiting, knowing there was something the solider wanted to say. “He loved you very much, Your Highness. I know he was never able to tell you how much, but he was not so shy with his words with others.”

With a stilted bow, the solider walked away and Damian felt himself move away from the pyre to stand next to his father and grandfather, ignoring the look his mother was sending him. Because despite knowing she would find some way to punish him, he would never regret his actions as of late.

#jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #past lives au #anikah writes

11 notes · View notes

siriusmuch · 4 years

Text

years | lily evans

pairing: lily evans x reader ; sirius black x reader

warnings: angst. lots and lots of angst.

word count: about 4k, my longest story yet!

summary: requested by anon — prompt #91 (in the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. there is nobody left to hear it.) from this list. you loved a lot of people, but you loved lily evans like you did no other.

a/n: thank you for the request! i hope you like this, i hate writing things with no happy endings but i couldn’t resist. there’s not going to be a part two for this, sorry! there is a part with sirius x reader in this, although it’s not the main ship. you’ll understand as you read on :) sorry that the ending is a bit rushed :(

masterlist here

1971.

In your first year of Hogwarts, you remember everything about your first day vividly. Your parents sent you off with a sad farewell, and you promised to write to them often. They shed a few tears, and you almost missed the train by how long your hugs with them were. They peppered your face in kisses, your mother holding onto your father’s chest as you waved goodbye to them the final time. You knew it was extreme, but you were 11, and you were going to Hogwarts.

You’ve been waiting for this day your entire life.

Your parents were the sweetest people you knew. Your birth parents had fallen ill with the Dragon Pox when you were five, and you were constantly around caretakers until they had passed. You didn’t remember them to the extent you would’ve liked. You were put up for adoption, and your parents — who were also wizards — welcomed you into the family without ever looking back.

You were exposed to tragedy early in your life, but that never stopped you.

You ended up sharing a train car with two other girls your age, although the three of you didn’t end up becoming very good friends. Excitement and jitters filled your conversations, although you were all sorted into different houses.

Upon arriving at Hogwarts, you were in awe. You’d heard stories about the beauty of Hogwarts, with their floating candles to the castle-like interior. You’d ever tried reading Hogwarts: A History, although you got bored quickly and opted to play quidditch in your backyard instead.

When your name was finally called, you took a seat and the Sorting Hat was placed upon your head. You beamed, although your leg shook with how nervous you were. Both your birth parents were Gryffindors, although your adoptive parents were Hufflepuffs. You didn’t mind getting sorted in either house.

‘Oh, a (Y/L/N)?’ The Sorting Hat hummed, and you nodded. Although you were adopted, your last name never changed. You appreciated that your parents never did so, because even though you didn’t consider your birth parents mom and dad, at least you had a piece of them with you. ‘Your parents were the greatest Gryffindors I’ve seen, although you have a heart of pure gold. The way your heart swells when you think of your parents show me your Hufflepuff heart. You’d do well in either of those houses.’

You beamed, nerves quickly washing away. You had grown up with Hufflepuff ideals, so you weren’t surprised that you were considered for Hufflepuff. ‘But… I think you’d do better as a Gryffindor. You have great things ahead of you, (Y/N). So…’

Your eyebrows furrowed at what the Sorting Hat meant by “great things”, but before you could ask — think? — the Sorting Hat yelled, “Gryffindor!”

Moving off the seat, you walked towards the Gryffindor table, sitting in the closest empty seat you could find. As more people got sorted, you turned to the girl next to you, a red-head with stunning green eyes, and introduced yourself.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” You smiled, not knowing what was in store for you for the next ten years.

1972.

By the time second year rolled around, you had befriended the infamous Marauders. You weren’t necessarily as close to them as you were to Lily, but you found them funny. Except when James was asking out Lily — you always found yourself in a sour mood, although you had no clue why. You had came to the conclusion that you were just possessive of her friendship, since you had never been to close to someone else who wasn’t your parents to this extent.

You listened to Lily complain about the Marauders a fair extent. Remus was occasionally included in the complaints as well, although he usually got away with more things than the others did. You hung around Snape as well, although he never seemed too keen to talk to you. He seemed to tolerate you best when you were with Lily as well, although you always joked that being around Lily seemed to bring out your best qualities.

“What does Evans see in Snivellus?” James moaned again, putting his head down onto his textbook before peeking up at you.

“They’ve been friends since before Hogwarts, you know. You can’t separate them that easily, it’d be like if Lily constantly told you that you shouldn’t be friends with Sirius because he’s a Black.” You shrugged.

You and James had this conversation quite a few times. Lily didn’t necessarily approve of your friendship with him, but it didn’t stop you. Especially when you knew that James was a softie behind his egotistic exterior. You tried telling Lily this, although James always seemed to embarrass himself with Lily was around.

“But the point is that Sirius isn’t like his family. Snape fits in with those Slytherins, stupid pureblooded maniacs.”

“Snape isn’t even a pureblood,” you commented, “plus, not all Slytherins are bad. This is why Lily doesn’t want to be friends with you, much less your girlfriend.” You ruffled James’ hair, feeling a bit sick at the thought of Lily being James’ girlfriend.

You didn’t even believe in cooties anymore, and romance was cute. You had no idea why the idea of James and Lily made you feel so… sad. Shaking the thought off, you stood up.

“I should get going, I told Lily that I’ll join her and Snape to study potions. I’ll catch you later, James.” You smiled at him, taking your books and swiftly leaving.

1973.

By the time you were in your third year of Hogwarts, the mood shifted. No one was oblivious to this, but some people pretended they weren’t aware. Life became more intense, more stressful — there was a war building outside of the school, and fights broke out more often.

You made sure to accompany Lily everywhere.

You knew that Lily knew what you were doing, and you knew that she was a little annoyed by it. After all, she was independent and a brilliant witch, and more than capable of taking care of herself. But you were scared anyway. Scared for yourself and scared for her and anyone who wasn’t pureblooded.

But you tried carrying on with life as normally as possible, despite the fact that you subscribed to The Daily Prophet and read it every morning as opposed to just hearing news from your parents. You even wrote to them more than normal, and they sent you care packages about once a month. You didn’t need it, but you appreciated stuff from home. It made you feel safer, and you always made sure to share anything you got with Lily. You even tried out for the Quidditch team, having missed out last year. You ended up being their seeker, and you took pride in how happy everyone was in you. Especially how happy Lily was. You knew she was fascinated with Quidditch, despite being terrible at flying.

You grew even closer to James after you got on the Quidditch team, but a part of you always felt sad when you were around him. You still had no clue why, and it only intensified whenever Lily was brought up or associated, and you tried steering clear from the topic as much as possible without seeming suspicious.

There was a part of you that was confused, though. James and Sirius started hanging out at the library, and you didn’t know why. There were no pranks that happened, but they could be seen reading and researching something throughout the year. Peter joined them, although it was normal to see him in the library as well. Sometimes Remus was around, but mostly he was working on his own schoolwork. Whenever he was with the Marauders while they were off researching, he always seemed a bit nervous and exasperated at the same time.

You wondered, but you knew you wouldn’t get an answer.

1974.

“Don’t you find it odd that James, Sirius, and Peter always look so tired the day after Remus is out sick or his mother is sick? It’s like when he’s away, they go wild.” You brought up to Lily one day.

Lily shrugged, “They’re always a bit weird, though? They keep so many secrets… I would’ve expected them to be blabbermouths, but they never share any of their secrets. Haven’t you noticed that whenever someone is in trouble they end up at the scene?”

“It is odd… I don’t think I’d ever be able to understand boys,” you joked. Lily rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her face.

The two of you sat in silence at the Great Hall, watching James, Sirius, and Peter’s sluggish movements. A bit later, Remus came to join them, looking just as tired as they did. You exchanged a look with Lily.

Once again, you found yourself hopefully lost in Lily’s eyes. They’re always so vibrant, and you hated when they dulled just the tiniest bit whenever something happened with her sister. You wished you could take all her pain away, to always be there to pick her up no matter what happens. It pained you to be in a state where you couldn’t do anything to help.

“Earth to (Y/N)?” Lily snapped her fingers in front of your face, causing you to blink. “You’re staring again. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, a familiar flush creeping up on your face. You had the littlest of ideas why you kept on staring at her, but you didn’t want to feel this. Not towards Lily, at least. Not towards your best friend, who you could easily lose by admitting these feelings.

Fourth year was the year you started getting suspicious of the Marauders, realized your tiny crush on Lily Evans, and came out to your parents through a letter.

1975.

Fifth year was the year you became best friends with Sirius Black.

You had no idea why Sirius had started avoiding the Marauders, nor why they were so aggressive towards him. The entire group was tense, and from what you’ve been told, you knew that Sirius did a terrible prank that was unforgivable. You knew that James was upset that you were hanging out with Sirius, but you had came to the realization that Sirius was rather… lonely, at least without the Marauders around.

There were always rumors circulating at Hogwarts, but as you talked to Sirius, you realized that it wasn’t as true as it seemed.

The two of you were currently out after curfew, hanging out in the astronomy tower. You were smoking a cigarette that he’d passed you, and you just stared up at the ceiling.

“You’re in love with Evans, aren’t you?” Sirius interrupted your silence.

You turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowing. You could feel a sick feeling starting to build in your stomach. No one knew this, even though you had came out to your parents as attracted to both boys and girls.

“Why do you say that?” You hesitantly asked.

“You’re always staring at her. You always perk up when she’s mentioned, not to mention you always get moody every time James talks about liking her. You glare at any people who try and ask her out on dates. Only an idiot wouldn’t know.” Sirius turned to face you.

“Merlin, is it that obvious?” You groaned, “Yeah, I figured out that I liked her last year. But I don’t even know if she likes girls like that. Not many people are accepting, you know? I don’t even know if you are.”

“It’d be ironic if I didn’t accept it. I’m in love with Remus.”

“You are?” You blinked, jaw dropping a bit. You didn’t know if anyone else in Hogwarts was like you, but here Sirius was. “Do you just like guys or…?”

“I don’t know yet. I think both, kissing girls is nice, but with Remus…”

“With him, it’s different.” You finished his sentence.

1976.

In sixth year, you hung around Lily a lot more. She was still struggling after what Snape had said to her, and you once again wished that you could take away her pain. She was suffering, and you didn’t know what to do to help her.

You had asked James for a passageway out to Hogsmeade, and you snuck her out despite her poor protests. The two of you drank butterbeer while you let her cry (for the final time, she swore) on your shoulder. Eventually, her tears faded out and all there was was anger. Anger for not realizing just how much Snape had changed, anger for being so dumb, and anger that Snape was becoming just the type of person who wanted her dead.

Sixth year was also the year where James and Lily started becoming friends. It didn’t happen immediately, and they still argued. Their differences continued being highlighted, but as James helped Lily loosen up, Lily was able to reign James in a considerable amount. At this point, you knew that it was inevitable that they were going to date. You felt jealous, but you still suffered in silence. Instead, you started spending more time with Sirius.

It was nice to see everyone in semi-good spirits, though. Especially when the air at Hogwarts started becoming increasingly tense. The Marauders had made up, and although Snape tried to grovel at Lily’s feet and beg for her friendship, things were as good as they could be.

Life went on.

Before the end of sixth year, Sirius pulled you aside.

“I have a question to ask you,” Sirius started. You raised an eyebrow, telling him to go on. “We’re both in love with people who… to put it frankly, won’t love us back. Do you want to go on a date? We deserve better than to pine for people who won’t feel the same.”

You were shocked at the question. You didn’t know what to say, because you’ve always been turning down dates. But you knew that Sirius had a point. “I… Yeah, let’s do it. Next Hogsmeade weekend?” You asked.

And so, you and Sirius started dating. Congratulations started pouring from everyone you knew, and you were sad to see Lily be so utterly happy for the two of you.

1977.

Your seventh year at Hogwarts was a weird combination of things. For one thing, you didn’t really expect James to become head boy, but you weren’t surprised that before the new year started that he and Lily started going out.

Your heart still hurt every time you saw the two of them together. They were happy in their own world, light pecks all the time, and you missed Lily a lot more now that she didn’t even sleep in the girls dormitory. You cursed whoever made the heads their own quarters instead of them sleeping with the rest of the year.

You were still dating Sirius too, despite the fact that both of you were still pining over people who wouldn’t love you back. You guys were as happy as you could be, given your position. Whenever the other felt too sad, there would be ice cream and cuddles. You guys kissed, but you knew that there was a low chance that it’d ever get further than that. Both of you knew that this relationship was just a distraction from your true feelings.

At the first quidditch match of the year, right after you had caught the snitch, someone had cursed your broom and you fell right out of the sky. You were in the hospital wing for three days, with a terrible concussion and too many of your bones broken, but you lived. You never found out who cursed your broom, but everyone was on their toes for the next few days. You knew that Sirius and James blamed the Slytherins, and a part of you agreed. After all, there were some Slytherins who made it obvious that they supported Voldemort.

This was also the year where you and Lily were filled in on Remus’ condition. Lily confessed that she already knew that Remus was a werewolf, although never knew why the other boys were always so tired. After reassuring Remus that neither of you were going to stop being friends with him, you begged Sirius to turn into his dog form for cuddles.

Things were as good as they could be.

1978.

You broke up with Sirius before the school year ended. The two of you knew it was coming, and it was always a question of who would ask first. The Marauders seemed upset with you at first for “breaking Sirius’ heart”, although Sirius constantly reprimanded them for it. You were still good friends, and you both were more physical with each other than regular friends, but it was nice.

The day you graduated, you cried. A lot of people did, so you weren’t alone, but you knew that this would be the last time you’d be in Hogwarts as a student. You probably would go see Dumbledore a few times in Hogwarts, especially after being recruited for the Order of the Phoenix like your other friends were.

That summer, in the mail, you received invitations to Lily and James’ wedding. You already knew that they were getting married, but this just solidified the fact. Sirius came over that day, and you cried, not that you’d ever admit that to anyone else other than him.

You attended the wedding with Sirius as your +1, although he was invited too. You knew all of your friends were a bit confused about where you and Sirius stood, but you never really gave them an explanation.

Before the end of the year, Remus was sent out to talk to other werewolves to try and recruit them for the war. This time, you went over to Sirius’ place to try and relieve some of the anxiety he felt. You were anxious too — even though you weren’t as close to Remus as you were to Sirius, you knew it was a risk. Everything all your friends did was a risk, and you were constantly worried for them.

1979.

Your arm burnt with the Dark Mark.

You were sent to infiltrate the Death Eaters by Dumbledore. The only person who knew of your mission was Sirius, and you feared the day that you’d end up having to fight against your friends as a supposed Death Eater.

You weren’t a hateful person, but every time you insulted muggleborns or said anything even related to pureblood supremacy, you wanted nothing but to hate Dumbledore. You were resilient, and a good witch, and your acting skills were top notch after hiding your feelings for Lily for so long.

Your life was constantly at risk, and you wrote letters to all of your friends explaining everything in case you died. You were building up rank in the group, and eventually, you would be one of Voldemort’s most trusted members. You filled him with lies about who was fighting against him, never actually giving up anyone who was in the Order. You had learnt occlumency so you weren’t as vulnerable.

You barely saw any of your friends that year. You had moved houses when you were assigned to the job. Sirius informed you that he suspected that there was a spy in the Order, and you told him you’d keep an eye out in case there was someone in the Death Eater meetings that you recognized.

“I think… it may be Remus.” He admitted sadly that same day.

“Remus? Our Remus? He’s loyal beyond everything.” You protested. “We already know what mission he’s doing, and I would suspect Remus the least out of almost everyone.”

“But isn’t that the point? He’s been alone his whole life, hating himself for being a werewolf. Suddenly, he’s with other werewolves, and he feels like he belongs. We never see him, and all Dumbledore and Moody say is that they’ve been in touch.” Sirius shoved his face in his hands, sighing. “This war is a bloody mess.”

You shook your head, “I don’t think Remus is the type to submit to his urges so easily. You’ve met the man, Sirius.” You leaned your head against Sirius’ shoulder. “I haven’t seen you in two months, Sirius. Between Remus and I, I’d be more suspicious. I bet some of the other members already are. All they know is that I’m on an important mission and I can’t see anyone. Suspecting each other will just bring our downfall.”

Sirius grew quiet. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). Some people do suspect you, but to be fair, you haven’t been to an official Order meeting in months. I haven’t even seen you for the longest time. Only Moody, Dumbledore, and I know what you’re doing. I wish I could tell them so that they don’t think that way anymore, but I can’t.”

“I hate this so much. Merlin, I need a drink.”

1980.

Between pretending to be a Death Eater, working for the Order and gathering intel, and then finding out about the prophecy and how Lily and James were expecting a child, you were running yourself thin. You were utterly exhausted at this point, and all you wanted was a break. Somewhere where this war didn’t exist.

You still hated yourself for loving Lily to this extent. Hated that you still couldn’t let her go, and hated that she probably thought you were leaking information to the Death Eaters.

A part of you wished that you told Lily of your feelings for her while you were still in Hogwarts. Before everything in the world became reality for all of you. You felt stupid for thinking this way, but you ultimately wished things were just different.

War really was draining.

October 31st, 1981.

The morning of October 31st, 1981, you were called to a Death Eater meeting. There, Voldemort and a few of his trusted members were waiting for your arrival. There, you saw a man you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Peter Pettigrew.

Did you two get sent on the same mission by the Order? You masked your expression of confusion, looking at him and the fear evident in his face. You wondered why they would send Peter, of all people. You adored Peter, he was like a little brother to you, although you knew how easily he scared when he was on his own.

“Good morning,” Voldemort started speaking, “For the past year, (Y/L/N) has been telling us insider information about the people fighting against us.” You forced a smile on your face, ignoring Peter’s heavy stare. All the information was fake and staged, although Peter couldn’t possibly know that unless he was informed you were on this mission and you weren’t.

“But, a week ago, Pettigrew was able to tell us the location of the Potters.” Your eyes widened just a tiny bit, “They had tried using a Fidelius charm so that only a trusted person would know where they were, and I’ve been planning on taking down their child in this time. As you all know, the boy who was born in July is the one who is supposedly going to destroy me. I cannot allow that to happen, and Pettigrew supplied me with the information I need while the baby is at its most vulnerable.”

You willed yourself not to react until the meeting was over. The moment you were allowed to go, you left as quickly as possible, avoiding Peter. Casting a patronus charm, you sent out a message to Lily.

“Lily, I was on a mission to infiltrate the Death Eaters and Pet…”

Before you could finish your sentence, you were out.

That night, in Godric’s Hollow, a motorcycle revs as it leaves the vicinity. In the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. There is nobody left to hear it.

#journal of joyivos #lily evans x reader #lily evans #sirius black #sirius black x reader #lily evans x reader x sirius black #lily evans x james potter #sirius black x remus lupin #wolfstar #jily #harry potter #harry potter x reader #marauders #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders era x reader #this is so angsty im so sorry #i love lily evans so much though

97 notes · View notes