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#if someone wants to comment on this or talk to me about my feelings i am MORE than happy to listen
mingyus-blackcard · 16 hours
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ੈ✩ i did not need to know that (smau) ੈ✩
pairing : charles leclerc x noriss! fem reader
summary : With all the extra information being spilled, noriss’s sister spills something way important !
tw : a lot of sexual innuendos , cursing, chaotic af
fc: megan roche *she is so pretty-*
a/n : thank you so much to @xshazxx for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻
·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚
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liked by norissfr, lordperceval, lilihye, albono, maximilian and 76 others
norizzfr y’all my brother was not paying attention to Zak 🫷🏻
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mclaren Lando Noriss, kindly report to the office 🙌🏻
norissfr such a lovely sister 😒
norizzfr any day my loving brother 🧡
oscarpastry does the official McLaren account follow your private !?
norizzfr cuz the admin loves me 💪🏻
mclaren 🙌🏻🧡
norissfr admin… stay away from her
mclaren 🙌🏻🧡
jrchilli he never listened to me as well ☹️
norissfr oh shut up you no fish !
lordperceval damn, is it only my eyes but you look ugly
norizzfr if you care for you balls, you better keep that thing of yours shut
fernandoalonso yes Charles, don’t be rude
norizzfr 🤍🩵
lordperceval but i speak genuine facts 🫶🏻
norissfr dw charles, she can’t see that’s why she wears those huge ass balls on her face
norizzfr at least i am getting some balls -
norissfr i would rather have some 🐱 instead of 🐔
norizzfr EW BROTHER
albono i did not need to see that -
maximilian stop acting as if he is not sucking your balls everyday !
lordperceval can everyone stop exposing the dirty little secrets ?
hamsandwich charles, do you want me to start ?
mercedesgeorge lewis, remember the gold old times of us two in a tub?
carmenvroom sleep in the tub tonight then ! ❤️
norizzfr WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE’S SEX LIFE BEING TALKED ABOUT IN MY COMMENTS !?
lilyhye i feel bad for you luv 🫶🏻
norizzfr thank you bubs 😤
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liked by norissfr, lordperceval, lilihye, albono, maximilian and 56 others
norizzfr my personal papprazzi @ norissfr
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norizzfr i am an elder brother, ofc i was blackmailed to click these 😌
norissfr i am a younger sister, ofc i will expose all your broken vases to mum 🤩
fernandoalonso My child, you should not be posting these on the internet with every other person seeing !
maximilian its her private account 😐
mercedesgeorge you commenting from your main makes me nervous as well
fernandoalonso i cant handle this one, you expect me to have another !?
lilihye no lube, no protection, all night , all day, from the kitchen to the bathroom -
albono babe, why are you telling are sex life again ?
lilihye WHAT !?
carmenvroom WHt!? alex it was a joke
norizzfr i definitly did not need to know my best freinds sex life but WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NOT USING PROTECTION
albono SHE ASKED FOR IT
hamsandwich please be safe kids 🙏
jrchilli where did you pop out of ?
hamsandwich my mom
lilihye ALEX SHUT UP
albono YOU ONLY TOLD ME STOP BEING QUITE “ LET ME HEAR YOU ALEX !”
norizzfr my comments always become someones sex life discussion
lordperceval wanna tell them about ours ?
norissfr EXCUSE ME WHAT !? Y/N !?
norizzfr i hate him more than toto could hate ferrari
mercedesgeorge true that 💪🏻
maximilian you look pretty y/n!
norissfr the only normal comment 😩 thank you so much max 🫶🏻
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liked by lilyhye, albono, norissfr, lord perceval and 64 others
norizzfr so yes, i do golf 💪🏻⛳️
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norissfr i was third wheeling the whole day !
albono us brother us 🙌🏻
norizzfr yall just jealous that lily loves me
lilihye I LOVE YOU 🫶🏻❤️
norizzfr I LOVE YOU TOO 🫶🏻❤️
maximilian suprised that hey found a stick shorter than lando 🧐
norissfr watch out for your next crash 😗
oscarpastry zak would not orefer that ☺️
mclaren Lando noriss in my office please - Zak
norissfr fuck, i forgot they follow her private, ADMIN UNFOLLOW HER
mclaren 🫶🏻🧡
lordperceval the first slide is making me see things 🙂‍↕️
norizzfr shut up before you see your own ass
lordperceval you have seen it though -
mercedesgeorge i think i am missing something -
jrchilli we missed a whole chapter -
hamsandwich kids these days 😌
norizzfr Sir Hamilton, you talk as if you dont have girls in your hotel room 🫶🏻
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liked by lordperceval, norissfr, maximilian, lilyhye and 82 others
norizzfr in my polaroid era 📷
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albono I-
mercedesgeorge did she mean to -
norissfr Y/N NORISS WHAT THE HELL !?
norizzfr why are you screaming for no reason ?
lilihye hun, who clicked the first two pictures ?
norizzfr my friend …
lilihye the friend is visible in the third slide 🙂
norizzfr fuck…
norizzfr CHARLES BABE I AM SORRY
lilihye HIS FACE WAS NOT VISIBLE !
albono she just exposed the guy herself 🪽
norizzfr oh. so i just exposed it myself ….
norissfr Yes ma'am , CARE TO EXPLAIN !? I THOUGH IT WAS A GUY AND WAS OK WITH YOU DATING ! BUT WITH FUCKING CHARLES !? CHSRLES LECLERC?
lordperceval they could not see my face bubs ❤️
norizzfr well atleast i would now not have to pretend to hate you 🫶🏻
lordperceval the prettiest love ❤️
norissfr can you both not ?
hamsandwich ew.
maximillian ew.
mercedesgeorge ew.
albono they were better hating each other
lordoerceval I LOVE YOU Y/N
norizzfr I LOVE ME TOO CHARLES
lordoerceval HEY! we agreed to stop hating
norizzfr I LOVE YOU TOO CHARLES 💌
365 notes · View notes
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Up Until You | Tommy Shelby x Reader
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Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader
Summary: In which Tommy Shelby realizes that he might just have someone he wants to live for.
Warnings: smoking, slight season 2 spoilers
Word Count: 3698
A/N: boy does it feel good to post a story again! I hope there won’t be as big a gap between this and my next one … I promise I’m getting these requests written! Anon, I hope this is as angsty as you were hoping….the prompt you sent is bolded. Enjoy! :)
A/N 2: I almost forgot! I wanted to give a shoutout to the lovely Mars @toms-cherry-trees for helping me so much in the planning process of this fic…I don’t think it would have gotten finished if it weren’t for you!
I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! — COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!
Comment/Message Me if you’d like to be tagged!
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(Y/N) sent Ada Shelby a look that asked 'where is he?' the second the latter opened the door. Ada answered with a head nod to the left, which conveyed the answer of 'he's in there'. A glance over the Shelby woman's shoulder confirmed it - Tommy was sitting at the table in the front room. His back was to the door, so he hadn't noticed that she arrived...yet.
She sent Ada an appreciative smile before she quietly walked into the room, hoping that Tommy wouldn't hear her footsteps. He seemed to be too engrossed in his writing for that to happen though. She stood there for a few moments, carefully peering over his shoulder as he finished the sentence he was writing.
He paused then, and it gave (Y/N) the ability to read the sentence he'd just written:
In the event of my own death, I want the following facts to be known...
Reading those words made her mind go blank. "You're actually going through with it?" she asked without thinking.
The sudden sound of someone's voice made Tommy quickly turn in his chair. He was already on edge with the day's events taking up his mind, so this unexpected visitor had caught him completely off guard. It took a few moments for it to register that (Y/N) was standing in front of him. When it did, he cursed under his breath before letting out a huff.
"When'd you get here, eh?" he asked, his eyebrows raised as he placed his hands on his thighs.
"Just now. I couldn't find you at home. The guys hadn't left for the derby though, so I figured you'd be here," she explained her reasoning. "You don't have to go through with this, Tommy," she then circled back, not letting him switch topics.
"I have to," his response cut right to the point. He didn't have time to get into a discussion about it.
"What about the other options you've shared with me? The options that don't include you having to come face to face with this man in order to get the job done," she reminded him of the talks they've had in the past, hoping that doing so would get him to change his mind.
"There's no time for those other options, (Y/N). The derby's today. The plan's been laid out," he wasn't biting.
Silence hung in the air as they stared at each other. (Y/N) was hoping that he'd change his mind. She waited on bated breath, waiting for him to announce that to her. But he stayed silent.
She couldn't wait any longer. "So that's it then?" she asked, incredulousness present in her voice. The fact that he wasn't even trying to entertain a conversation about this was breaking her heart. "You're just going to write your note and practically seal your death with it? And what'll that mean for me?" she was unable to stop herself from getting choked up as she uttered her final question. She didn't want to think about her life without him, but it was staring her dead in the face at the moment.
"The note's just precautionary, love," he attempted to assure her. Her expression didn't change, her brow was now furrowed and it was noticeable that she was biting on her bottom lip; most likely to stop her tears. Tommy finally stood then, coming face to face with her in hopes that his proximity would wash some of her worry away. "I'll be fine," he added in a low voice, blindly searching for her hands so that he could hold them.
"You can't promise that," she responded, her voice coming out as a shaky whisper. It was taking everything she had not to burst out into tears in this moment. She'd always associated his closeness with safety...whenever Tommy was close, (Y/N) knew she could never get hurt. But now his closeness was making her hurt even more.
"It'll be fine," he repeated, squeezing her hands.
"It's really been decided?" she still couldn't accept it.
"It has," he nodded.
(Y/N) sighed at his confirmation. Her gaze dropped to the floor as she pulled her hands from his grasp. She then wrapped her arms tightly around her frame as she turned and took a few steps towards the windows.
"(Y/N)." Her name left Tommy's lips as a breath. He knew he was fighting a losing battle here. "Come on, love. Look at me," he gently coaxed her. She stood still. "It'll be fine," he tried once more to assure her.
That set her off. She whipped around within a second of hearing his statement. There was now a fire burning in her watery eyes. "Do not say those three words again," she snapped at him, "do not continue to try and reassure me with things that you cannot guarantee will happen. You know how dangerous this plan is, Thomas. Please don't try and act like It isn't. You wouldn't be sat here writing a note for someone to find in the event of your death if you didn't think that there was a possibility of it happening," she spoke her mind, letting her emotions go free as all of the pent up worry flowed out.
"(Y/N)," he spoke her name again, in a different tone this time. He didn't need this lecture. Not right now. "This is what needs to be done," he continued in a low voice, staying stoic in hopes that it would alleviate the situation quicker.
But (Y/N) no longer cared about what he did or didn't need at that moment, and if anything, his statement just made her even more upset.
"It doesn't need to be done like this," she insisted, "you don't need to sign your life away for a contract...for a man who doesn't give a single care about the stakes that have been raised here so long as he isn't the one carrying out the deed. Any other person would be trying to find a way to take themselves out of the equation but you've decided to put yourself in the driver's seat."
(Y/N) felt like she was talking in circles. Hell, she probably was, but she was doing so in hopes that something would be set off inside of him. She wanted him to realize that there was still time to think up another plan; one that didn't include him being placed in harm's way.
"What is it that you want from all of this?" he asked her, his brows furrowed together.
"You, Tommy!" she exclaimed, her frustration shining clear through her words. "I want you to fight! I want you to realize that things don't need to play out this way; that you can still put another plan into play!" she paused, taking a deep breath as she swiped at the tears that had escaped her eyes. "I want you to come home when all of this is finished," her voice was level again as she spoke the final sentence. Her eyes were locked onto his, hoping that he'd realize how much this was affecting her.
Their eyes stayed locked and a few moments passed before Tommy looked down at the ground. He exhaled a sigh as he brought his hand up to the back of his neck. "It's already done," he said, his voice void of any tone.
"Then I guess I'm done," the words left (Y/N)'s mouth before she could stop them. She didn't take them back though. She was tired of fighting in a one-sided fight. It was so obvious that Tommy had his mind made up. Nothing was going to change it at this point. But yet she still held onto that sliver of hope. She hoped that her showing up today and speaking her piece would get him to change his mind.
"(Y/N)..." Tommy looked up again as her name fell from his lips, shock now present in his expression.
"I can't be here a moment longer. I can't stand in front of a man who is acting as if he's already dead. I need to leave."
Her words were spoken softly, but Tommy heard them loud and clear. He said nothing as she moved to the archway, expecting her to leave without another word. To his surprise, she turned around just before she was about to exit the room.
"I didn't believe that love existed until you came along, Tommy. But you showed me how wrong I was for thinking that way; for thinking that I'd never experience something like that. And now you've just decided not only your future, but mine as well. I can't stay here and watch it play out. I'm not sure if I'll be home when you return. I just..." (Y/N) stopped speaking as the words got caught in her throat. She let out a shaky breath, tears welling up in her eyes once more.
All words escaped her at that moment, and she shook her head instead, deciding that finishing her declaration would be a lost cause anyway. She couldn't even bear to look at him again, too afraid that she'd actually break down. So instead she turned and made her way to the door of the home, opening it and leaving without looking back.
The sun was now shining down on her. It was an absolutely lovely day in London, but yet she was having one of the worst in her life. She decided to go for a walk, revisiting the streets that still felt like home even though she'd made the move to Birmingham several months ago.
(Y/N) knew Ada Shelby before she knew Tommy. She'd met her when Ada had moved into the next door apartment with her adorable son, Karl. The two women quickly became friends, spending a lot of time together right up until the day Ada had been found and hurt for being a Shelby.
Contact stopped briefly as Ada had moved out of the apartment, but things continued like nothing had even happened when Ada sent (Y/N) a letter that contained her new address. The two frequently spent time together in the front room of the lovely new home, sipping tea and talking about the day's events in front of the fire.
Ada's house was where (Y/N) first met Tommy. Surprise riddled their first encounter. Ada had stepped away to tend to Karl when Tommy came knocking on the door. (Y/N), being the friend that she was, didn't hesitate in opening it. The sight she was greeted with took her breath away. Thankfully Ada had returned from Karl's room, or who knows how long the two would have been standing in the doorway, staring at each other. She even joked about the fact that they couldn't seem to keep their eyes off of each other. Of course it didn't help that Tommy had forgotten what it was he was even there for for the first few minutes of his visit.
That wasn't the last time (Y/N) saw Tommy. The two became very close very quickly. It was like they had known each other forever; like there was this pull present between them that neither could ignore. Things also got serious pretty quickly. So serious that (Y/N) was packing up her things and leaving her London apartment for Small Heath after only six months of knowing Tommy.
Some might think it was crazy; that things were moving much too fast. But (Y/N) had never felt so sure of doing something in her life.
Which made what was happening now hurt so much more. But she needed to keep walking. She'd done the right thing.
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Tommy placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a match before taking a deep drag from it and exhaling slowly. The sealed letter sat on the table in front of him. He stared at it for a few moments before pressing the thumb and index fingers of his free hand against his eyelids, hoping it would alleviate some of the pressure he'd been feeling.
"I made you up some tea," Ada's voice broke through the silence, and the sound of glass being set on the table he was working at made Tommy lift his head again.
He nodded as a thank you before bringing the cigarette back up to his lips again. He then stamped it out in the ashtray while exhaling the smoke slowly.
"I heard everything that was said, you know," she said then, moving over to one of the chairs so that she could sit. "What were you thinking, Tommy?" she asked with raised eyebrows, her eyes zeroed in on her brother.
Tommy sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked off to the far wall. He didn't need anymore of this right now.
"She was my friend first. She was the only person who cared about me when I moved here. She helped me through a lot. I'm not going to let you ruin her for your stupid ambitions," Ada had no problem speaking her mind and letting him know how wrong he was for responding to (Y/N) the way he did.
Tommy pulled the timepiece from his pocket and checked it before letting out a sigh and returning it back to its place. "I need to leave," he told Ada before lifting the cup and downing the beverage in one go. In hindsight he was thankful that it wasn’t scorching hot. "Thanks for the tea," he said to her as he set the empty cup back down.
Nothing more was said as Tommy stood from the chair he was sitting on. He looked to Ada as he pulled the jacket he'd been wearing back on over his shoulders. She was glaring at him, hoping that he'd have something - anything - more to add to the conversation.
It became apparent that he didn't when he started for the archway. So Ada left him with one last statement: "please don't let her go, Tommy. We all need her." There was a quiet desperation now present in her eyes, one Tommy wasn't sure what to say in response to.
So he nodded and turned to exit the home, heading right to the car he parked a few streets down.
Truthfully what he wanted to do right now was head back to Birmingham and stop (Y/N) from leaving, to tell her that she was more important than any plan he could ever put into place. He knew she was justified in saying everything that she had.
But it was too late to do that now. Tommy knew that there'd be men searching for him by the end of the day if he stepped away from the plan this late into it. At least now he had some sort of control over the outcome of his life. And he was going to try like hell to stay alive...because now he had someone to stay alive for.
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The house on Watery Lane was quiet when Tommy stepped into it later that evening. The fire in the main room was still lit, but he couldn't quite remember if they'd put enough wood on to keep it going prior to leaving that morning. So judging (Y/N)'s presence based on that could have surely given false hope.
He took his overcoat off and hung it on one of the hooks by the door. The suit jacket followed after, and he draped that over one of the chairs in the sitting room as he walked through it.
No one was downstairs, but he hadn't expected anyone to be at this time of night.
He quietly walked up the steps and down the hall to the bedroom that he and (Y/N) shared. He paused at the closed door, taking a moment both to steady himself; to regroup from the day's events, and to prepare himself for the possibility that he may be opening the door to an empty room.
After inhaling and exhaling deeply, he turned the knob and opened the door. The first thing he noticed was the lit candle on the bedside table. Seeing it made all of his worries dissipate. (Y/N) had a habit of lighting them and then falling asleep.
Looking slightly to the right, he found the woman that hadn't left his mind since she left him in Ada's sitting room. She was laying on her side, facing the wall, telling him that she was sleeping.
Slowly, quietly he began ridding himself of his outer layers. It wasn't until he moved over to the dresser that he noticed the bags sitting on the floor. They were packed. It was easy to see that, even in the candlelight. He looked back to (Y/N) then, putting the pieces together in his mind. She was going to leave...but something made her stay.
Now only wearing his undergarments, he made his way over to the bed. Hesitation overcame him again. Should he lay with her? Should he go back downstairs? She was in her spot, tucked up against the wall so that enough room was present for him on the small bed they shared.
A few moments passed before he made his decision, lifting the covers and slowly slipping underneath them. He laid on his back for a short time before turning onto his side so that he was facing her sleeping frame. Another bout of hesitation filled him, but he didn't let it stick for too long as he gently draped his arm over her midsection.
That was when (Y/N) let out the shaky breath she'd been holding in from the moment she heard the door open. She was awake the entire time.
"Are you still awake, love?" Tommy asked in a whisper.
"Yes," she breathed out, her voice wavering.
"You've been crying," he pointed out, able to read her like an open book.
"I didn't know if I'd see you again," she answered him, choking up as she spoke.
"I'm here," he assured her, his arm wrapping tighter around her body.
(Y/N) didn't say anything in response. Instead tears fell from her eyes as she held her breath, trying not to make it noticeable that she was crying. But Tommy was able to feel how her body was shaking.
"Turn and look at me," he said quietly, a soft demand that took her a few moments to comply with. Her tear-stained face became visible in the candlelight when she did, and seeing it broke Tommy's heart. "C'mere," he breathed, allowing her to move even closer to him so that he could engulf her in his embrace.
"No one knew where you were, Tommy," she whispered once she was finally able to get words out again. "I thought..." she paused, not even wanting to say what she was thinking, "I thought the worst."
"I'm sorry you had to think that way, darlin'," he murmured, stroking the back of her head slowly. He held her close until her body stopped shaking, giving her the time she needed. He didn't speak until she lifted her head from the crook of his neck. "Better?" he asked in a whisper, peering down to see that her eyes were still closed.
"Slightly," she breathed out a response. "I'm relieved that you're home. Is..." she paused, seeming like she was looking for the words to say next, "is it finished?"
"It's finished," he answered in a definitive tone, nodding his head as best he could.
(Y/N) let out a shaky breath upon hearing his response, feeling as if the rest of the weight had lifted from her chest. She slowly opened her eyes and looked right into his. "I was going to leave," she started, watching Tommy's brows furrow together in the candlelight, "but I realized that this is part of the life I chose with you. That this is the type of work you carry out, and that I can either fight you on it or support you the best that I could. I also realized that my desire to be with you is so much greater than the worry that your work creates." Her eyes didn't stray from his as she spoke. Watching his hardened blue irises soften as he took in her words was enough to fill her heart to the brim with love.
Tommy took a moment to soak in her words. He moved his hand from behind her head so that he could gently trace the line of her jaw with his thumb. Taking in a deep breath, he knew what he had to do. Searching her eyes for a few seconds longer, he thought of the words he wanted to say.
"I thought I could lose everything and be totally fine with it," he began, clearing his throat in hopes that she wouldn't notice the fact that his voice was breaking. She noticed. "But then you came along...and now I see how wrong I was."
"Tommy," she breathed, taken back by his admission.
"I had nothing to live for up until you, (Y/N)," he admitted, not holding anything back now, "and I promise you now that things will change... that there’ll be no more of these plans. I don't want to have the possibility of an outcome that doesn't include you in it."
(Y/N)'s mind was swirling. It had been a rollercoaster of a day, she still couldn't quite believe the change of events that had happened. But she was so very thankful that things had ended up with Tommy by her side again.
"I love you, Tommy," she whispered, a smile tugging the corners of her lips upwards.
"I love you, (Y/N)," he repeated the phrase, his expression mirroring hers as he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.
Now that he had her again, he knew that he could never let her go. What he'd told Michael earlier in the evening would soon be true: he was going to ask (Y/N) to marry him.
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MASTERLIST
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Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21
@mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @notyour-valentine @theshelbyslimited
@peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss
@alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl
@emotionalcadaver @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife
@anotherblinder @cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08
@insanitybyanothername @depxiety @justrainandcoffee @dragons-are-my-favorite @forgottenpeakywriter
@cljordan-imperium @brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable
@thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife @ryecosse @padfootdaredmetoo
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surielstea · 1 day
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Wrapping Wounds
1k celebration request
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Pairing: Bodyguard!Azriel x Princess!Reader
Summary: Azriel gets hurt and reader feels guilty, so she visits his bedroom and doesn’t plan on leaving until he’s healed.
Warnings: mention of attempted kidnapping (it’s all fluff though)
1.8k words
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My bodyguard was injured. Which is a surprisingly unusual occurrence. Azriel never got hurt, so it was a shock when I opened my bedroom door this morning only to find the grand hallway vacant, void of any brooding male guarding anyone from entering my bedroom. He was always there to greet me with a slight nod of his head, his shadows bringing me a cup of coffee before I could even mutter a word.
Instead, this morning I was met with an entirely different face, one I recognized but hadn't been expecting.
"Where's Azriel?" Is the first thing I say to Cassian, an equally intimidating male.
"He's injured at the moment, I'll be guarding you today." Cassian's words were dutiful and I can't help but frown. I loved Cass, sure, but I couldn't help but wonder why Azriel was hurt.
"So he's in the medical tents still healing?" I ask, stepping from my bedroom and closing the door behind me.
"I believe he's in his bedroom, but you're not allowed—" He starts but he doesn't get to finish before I winnow out of his sight and straight into Azriel's bedroom.
It was wrong to use my abilities against Cassian who was incapable of winnowing but it wasn't as if I was breaking any rules, just visiting an injured friend.
Azriel was sitting on his bed, currently rewrapping a wound on his abdomen.
"You can't be in here," Azriel stated without even taking a glance up at me, yet he still knew. I had to hold back from rolling my eyes at his absurd comment.
"I've been in a male's bedroom before," I scoff but he and I both knew that wasn't what he was talking about. We had been toeing the line of unspoken feelings for far too long now, mere inches away from being more than just professionals but he refused to cross that line and didn't want to drag me with him either.
I gather my skirts in my hands and close the distance between us, crouching down beside him and taking over his job of dressing his own wound, replacing his calloused, scarred hands with my manicured, delicate ones.
"You're not paid enough to get stabbed on my behalf," I grumble beneath my breath, my hair falling into my face as I focus on keeping pressure on the wound.
"Is everything about money to you, princess?" He teased and I just huffed, flicking my gaze up at him in a glare. He mirrors it with a quirk of his lip.
"Nevertheless, I'm making my brother give you a raise," I claim, looking back down to the gauze in my hands, deciding to look into his hazel eyes was too much to bear if I could not have them on me at all times. "Tell me what happened," I say, my words coming out more demanding than I anticipated but I was frustrated with myself for falling so damned hard for someone who was simply paid to be around me.
"So demanding," He grumbles, craning his neck to the side as if he needed to stretch, already tired from this conversation. "All you need to know is that some guys were trying to, take you last night," He gritted out like it was hard for him to stomach, but I brushed it off as the pain from his wound. "And I wasn't going to let them," He finished and I frowned, keeping my eyes pinned to the wrap in my hands as I tightly secured it with a clasp.
"It doesn't hurt too much, does it?" I say, looking up at him. He reaches towards me, his large calloused hand coming to my jaw and then pushing a lock of my hair away from my face.
"It's sweet that you're worried about me, but I’m kind of paid to be your bodyguard." He looks down at me with a stoic expression, a hint of devotion wandering behind his gaze.
“You don’t have to remind me,” I mumble, looking away from his gaze and down to his wound, the one that’s my fault. "If I was there, I would've offered myself rather than see you get hurt," I confess and his brows form a line, an angry frown pulling at his lips.
"Don't say that," He uttered. "No one will ever deserve you, no matter how good of a fight they put up." He claims and a comforting warmth blooms in the depths of my chest. I swallow, rising fully but still having to look up at him.
"I think you put up a pretty good fight," I shrug suggestively and he shakes his head.
"I'm protecting you because it's my job, it's just business princess." He claims and I roll my eyes and sling my arms over his shoulders, which he doesn't back away from.
"Nuh-uh, admit it, you like me," I taunt with a smile spreading over my lips, able to read him like an open book as the corner of his lip twitches downward, a clear indicator that he was debating if he should say something he knew he’d later regret.
"You're technically not working right now, we wouldn't be breaking any rules," I add and he only gazes down at me with a faux pitiful look in his eyes, like a rich man too selfish to donate to my charity.
"I don't think that's how it works." He blinks ever so slowly, taking all of this moment in.
"Az," I huff, walking my fingers down his bare chest.
"Princess," He mocks my tone, catching my wrist in his hand before it could get too low. "Cassian will be in here any second," He gestures for me to step backward with a jerk of his head. I wrap my hands around the back of his neck instead, rebelling his commands and doing the exact opposite. But he didn't push me away, and he didn't complain when I slowly situated myself over his lap.
"Please," I utter, begging was foreign to me but I'd do it if it meant he'd finally just let me love him.
"Please, what?" He plays dumb and this time I do actually roll my eyes, one of my hands going into his hair.
"Please, can you just stop being my bodyguard for five seconds and be my boyfriend?" I mumble and a smile pulls at the corner of his lips.
"It's kind of a package deal," He shrugs, his eyes glinting with amusement, silently laughing at my frustration.
"My gods, just kiss me already," I sigh and a rare grin grows over his features, revealing dimples.
"Always, so demanding," He muttered while leaning in, cupping my jaw in his large hand and pulling me into him.
Our lips connect like the last two pieces of a puzzle I've been working on for years, slotting together perfectly. His other hand was slipping up the slit in my pastel dress, resting at my upper thigh, gripping it occasionally and I can't help but smile at his lips at the action.
He slips his tongue into my mouth at the first opportunity he gets, craving to taste me further than just my lips. I wrap my arms tighter around the back of my neck, attempting to press myself as close as possible, needing the proximity of his warmth more than anything else.
He winced, biting slightly at my bottom lip in silent warning and I realized I pressed against his wound.
"Sorry," I murmur as he moves away from my lips and towards my jaw, kissing a trail down it all the way to my neck.
"We should probably stop," Azriel murmured as if he wasn't the one sucking hickeys to my neck and holding me down with his hand on my thigh.
"Probably," I say, slightly breathless as I recover from the pain of him pulling away from my lips. "I don't want to go," I sigh. "I'm safe in here with you, I don't need any other bodyguard," I explain and he smiles against my neck at my words, kissing the area softly.
A knock on the door makes me jump but he barely flinched, pulling away from my neck and looking at where he had been sucking, admiring the forming mark like an artist staring at their canvas.
"I have an idea, hide behind the door." He gestures to the door and I nod with a cheeky grin, scrambling off his lap and to where he told me to go.
"Az, you in there?" Cassian's voice was heard through the door.
Instead of replying, Azriel simply swung the door open with a tired smile. From my position, I could still see Azriel, but I was out of Cassian's line of sight— unless, of course, he decided to enter the room.
"Is the Princess in here?" I can hear the slight panic in Cassian's voice but Azriel doesn't falter when he replies.
"You already lost her?" The male scoffed, slightly amused.
"It's not my fault, she saw I wasn't you and winnowed away. I figured she'd be with you." I couldn't see the male but I knew his brows were bunched. I sort of felt bad for the male, I debated telling him I was going to stay with Azriel for the rest of the day so he should go far away unless he wanted to hear some things he shouldn't, but I didn't, I let Azriel handle it.
"Calm down, she's probably at the library. This castle is crawling with guards, she's safe here," Azriel reassured and Cassian must've nodded because there was no reply.
"I'm going back to bed, no more interruptions I'm trying to heal," Azriel shooed him away.
"Right, thanks Az," Cassian murmurs then a heavy pair of footsteps recede down the hall and Azriel closes the door, turning to me.
"Having affairs with your protectee and lying to your colleagues, how many rules are you going to break today?" I tease, lifting onto the tips of my toes and twining my arms around the back of his neck.
"I can always ask him to come back," He retorts and I frown, pecking his lips so quickly he barely had time to return the action.
"You wouldn't dare give me up so easily," I claim confidently, my fingers twining into his hair. "You like me too much."
"Way too much." He leans closer, his nose brushing mine. He looks at me for a moment, admiring my features from such a short distance, but as soon as his eyes flick down to my lips he can't help but lean in, our lips pressing together and somehow he made it feel like we've been doing this for decades it was all so natural.
"I'm staying in here all day, I hope you know that," I mumble and he pulls away a fraction to meet my gaze.
"But how will I ever get my rest to heal?" He sighs dramatically and I chuckle.
"I'll tell you what, you can sleep as long as you want, you just have to cuddle with me," I offer, and a soft grin forms on his lips.
"Sounds perfect to me." He closes the distance between us once more.
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vettelsvee · 2 days
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THIS IS ALL MY FAULT | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | wattpad | ao3 | instagram
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sebastian vettel x platonic!photographer!reader
based on this request: Okay! So after watching the run Sebastian organized at Imola, I has the idea of reader being someone that works for him (not sure what for though) maybe getting really sick for running in the rain that day, which ends up with Sebastian feeling guilty over it. It’s a silly idea, really, but I think it has a lot of potential to vibes similar to what Sebastian seems to have with the drivers, kind of playing dad to the grid 🥺.
summary: you work as a photographer during the forever senna tribute seb prepared, but you end up being sick
word count: 1618
warnings: none of them really! seb feeling guilty because he thinks reader got sick because of him.
a/n: I'm finally back! sorry for not posting at all during all this past month, university has had me really stressed but I'm finally free from it until september! idk if this is actually something well written because i haven't written anything for a month! also, hope you anon like this even it's definitely crap 😭
you can send your one shots requests here! feedback as well as comments and reblogs are truly appreciated! <3
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The rain kept falling on the circuit, but that wasn't such an excuse for Sebastian and his team to cancel what they had been working on for months.
The run that the retired driver had decided to organize on Thursday not only with Formula 1 drivers, but also with those from Formula 2 and 3, and even other members of the sport, in honor of Ayrton Senna and Roland Ratzenberger, was more than perfect. It was an absolute success. And Sunday, when Vettel would drive the car that once belonged to the Brazilian pilot who died 30 years ago on that same circuit, hadn't even arrived yet.
You had been busy taking photos of everything, as you were Sebastian's official photographer. Now, you were gathering all the equipment you had used because the cold you were enduring was barely bearable. You had been out in the rain all day, following Seb wherever he went, which had made you feel increasingly worse. Now, your hands couldn't stop shaking, and you felt like you were about to faint at any moment.
"Y/N, are you okay?" one of the team members asked.
"Yes, of course," you replied with a weak smile. "I'm just a bit cold. I'll be back to be the same me as soon as we get back to the hotel."
The man nodded, not wanting to press you further despite not being very convinced by your words after seeing your completely pale face.
You decided to continue with your work, ignoring anyone who approached you to exchange even the slightest word. You tried to ignore the growing headache, the fatigue, and the tightness in your chest, which seemed to be worsening. Although the rain had stopped and you were in one of the garages, the sky remained dark.
You were surprised to see Sebastian, still wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, just a few meters away from you. You shook your head, trying not to pay attention, and certainly not to worry. He was just your "boss," so to speak, and he was old enough to know what he needed to do to avoid getting sick. Well, he also had Britta, who was like a second mother to him.
A sharp pain pierced your temples. You staggered slightly, and if it hadn't been for your momentum making you lean your back against the wall behind you, you would have fallen to the ground.
"For God's sake, Y/N, you look terrible," he said as calmly as he could, though you could sense his nerves in his tone of voice. "You should go and have a rest. Like… now."
"Seb, we still have a lot to do. It's not just packing up the equipment, but also transferring the photos to the computer, editing them, then preparing the posts for you Instagram account..."
"Y/N, I love your work, but you've done more than enough for today," he interrupted, putting a hand on your shoulder, running his fingers carefully over it. "Now, I'll talk to Britta and we'll assign it to someone who knows what they're doing, okay?"
For a moment, you considered protesting, reproaching him that this was your job, and that's why he wanted you on his team since shortly before leaving Aston Martin, but the way he looked at you made you stop. He seemed worried, very worried. That's why you ended up not only reluctantly accepting but also letting him guide you to a nearby chair.
"Stay here. I'll bring you something warm."
As you watched Seb walk away, you sighed, managing to relax somehow. You saw him enter the Red Bull hospitality, and you assumed it was where he felt most comfortable. A few minutes later, you saw the blonde with two small steaming cardboard cups. As he reached your height, he offered you one of them.
"Thank you," you murmured, wrapping your hands around the cup and taking a sip. Chocolate, something you loved, and Seb knew it perfectly.
"Do you promise you'll go back to the hotel as soon as you finish your hot chocolate?"
"I promise," you assured him. "But I can't promise that..."
"Y/N, just no work for today," he cut in, seeing that you weren't going to fulfill what you had promised. "I want you to spend today and tomorrow resting. Sunday will be a tough day for us. You can do it, at least for me, or am I wrong?"
You nodded your head as if you were seven years old again. You knew you were going to rest as much as you could in your hotel room, but that didn't mean you weren't going to do anything. As you had already planned, you were obviously going to continue with your work. You couldn't disappoint Sebastian, not on such an important weekend like this.
[...]
Sebastian accompanied you to the door of your room, and despite having exchanged a couple of messages with you on Friday, having let you rest all afternoon and part of Saturday morning, and having agreed that you would come to a meeting room in the hotel at 12pm on Saturday to finalize the details of tomorrow's tribute, he didn't see you there.
"Have you seen Y/N?" he asked Britta directly, a little distressed. "She told me she would come with no doubt."
"And she did come," the ex-pilot's PR commented, "but I sent her back to her room as soon as I saw her shivering. Her forehead was burning, and she said she had a slight fever. It wasn’t just a slight fever, Seb," Britta assured him.
The man nodded but became even more worried. Quickly bidding farewell to Roeske, he headed towards your room. He saw the door slightly ajar, possibly your mistake. He knocked softly before entering, and the sight that greeted his eyes made him feel bad instantly.
You were curled up in bed, trembling uncontrollably. You had a small towel on your forehead with cold water to see if you could control your body temperature since you couldn't take your medicine again until the corresponding hours had passed, which was already the next day.
Your face was completely flushed, and your breathing was labored.
As soon as you realized Seb's presence, your eyes welled up with tears. You tried to force a smile, but all that came out were tears from how bad you felt not only for Seb to see you like this but also for ruining something so important.
"Seb... You didn't have to come," you stammered, your voice barely audible.
"Of course, I did! Don't be ridiculous!" he responded quickly, sitting beside you. He placed a hand on your forehead and realized Britta was right. "My God, Y/N, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling so bad?"
"I... didn't want to worry you," you admitted between tears of frustration and exhaustion. "Tomorrow is an important day. You need to be resting to give your best tomorrow. There are people who have come just for you, Seb, you can't let them down."
You noticed him tense a bit at the mention. His lips curved, and his jaw tightened. He took a deep breath and took your hand almost without thinking.
"This is my fault..." he whispered softly. He seemed overwhelmed with guilt, and much of it. You cursed yourself for making him think that when it was all really your fault. "Nothing is more important than your health, Y/N. I'm so sorry, really..."
"Seb, it's okay, really. These things happen; it's completely normal. There's probably someone else like me..."
His silence was the response you partly expected, but it didn't hurt until you saw him shake his head.
"I just wanted to give my best so that the photos would turn out perfect and you would have content worthy of all the work you've put into this..." was all you could say.
"You're already the best, Y/N," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair away from your face. "In fact, you're so perfect that you should stop being so perfect to start worrying more about yourself. And since you don't worry about yourself... let me do it for you, okay?"
Although you didn't agree with him and didn't believe you deserved his praise, you were too weak to argue.
Sebastian stayed with you all day, including the night. He made sure you were as comfortable as possible, brought you water, and soaked the cold cloth in water to lower your fever as soon as possible, miraculously something that worked. He didn't leave your side, not even when you had a coughing fit or sneezed without covering your mouth.
Your fever began to lower in the late hours of that day. Your breath calmed down, and the color seemed to return to your cheeks. Seb sighed with relief, quickly hugging you while continuously placing small kisses on your face and playing with your hair, making you laugh incessantly.
After ordering room service for dinner, since your appetite seemed to have returned, you fell asleep, at least apparently. To avoid disturbing you, Seb went from lying down next to you to reclining on a sofa next to the bed. His eyes were heavy with tiredness, but that didn't stop him from staying alert in case you needed his help.
"Rest, Y/N," he whispered, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before caressing it. "I guess I'll have to take you out to dinner for the damages I caused."
You smiled at the last thing Seb had said, grateful that every time you got sick, you didn't fall into a deep sleep, and wishing that what Seb had said was true.
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amethystwrytes · 2 days
Text
Hard to Handle
Pairing: Jungkook x Fem Reader 
Genre: Romance. Smut. Really, just smut. Also F2L.
Summary: You’re starting to want a little more from your FWB buddy.
Warnings: Explicit Language. Explicit sexual acts (oral, protected penetration). FWB situation. There is alcohol being consumed but not an amount that would inhibit or impair judgment or decisions. 
A/N: A few nights ago I had a dream I played Jenga with Jk in his apartment 😂 it was NOT spicy at all bc my unconscious mind is boring, so let’s fix that. Also let’s give it a better ending than me waking up to my dog burping in my face.
WC: 2k
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You’re sitting around Jungkooks dining room table, two beers in and hoping to lose at Jenga, which is a terrible game to play with drunk people, by the way. You didn’t really want to go out tonight, didn’t want to put on anything cute or put makeup on your face, but Jungkook reminded you that it’s been over a month since you’ve seen any of your friends in person. You’re overdue for socializing to meet basic human emotional requirements. Fair point. 
Your phone goes off in your pocket, which you find odd, because everyone you know that would be texting you after midnight is sitting at this table. 
JK: Everyone is going to start scattering soon. 
You read the message then look over at him bewildered, shrugging your shoulders. 
Me: Okay…and? 
JK: Stay here tonight. 
You look back over at him, he’s staring at his blocks, pretending to organize them but you can see the corners of his mouth slip into a mischievous smile. 
Me: IDK. We probably shouldn’t keep doing that. 
JK: Uh. Hard disagree. I feel like we should absolutely keep doing that. Over and over. A lot. 
Me: You need a girlfriend dude. 
JK: Maybe. You up for the job? I’m pretty hard to handle. 
Me: Don’t joke about that shit. I don’t care to stay with you sometimes but I don’t want to start joking about being more, then it’s going to get confusing and I don’t want to deal with that. 
JK: Right. Sorry. Zero confusion. Will you stay with me tonight so I can make a mess of you?
Me: …Yes. 
Me:...Assuming we’re not still playing this damn game at 6AM. Jin could do this shit all night. 
JK: Oh, I got you. Watch this…
“I gotta piss,” Jungkook says, standing up a little too quickly, his hip catches the edge of the table and the tower collapses with the devastating sound of blocks hitting the table and floor. 
“Yah!!” Jin howls, “Look what you did!” 
“Shit,” Jungkook tsks, “Sorry guys.” 
You press your lips together, trying not to laugh. The rest of the group moans and groans, but finally Namjoon stretches, looks at his phone and plants the seed, “It’s late, I need to get going.” Just like that, the table erupts with similar sentiments, and even Seokjin who sits and pouts for several moments, stands and starts grabbing up his things. 
“Do you want a ride home, ___?” Yongsun asks. 
“Uh, nah,” you shrug, “I’ve got a ride already.” 
She grins, “I bet you do. Talk to you later.” 
You feel the tips of your ears get hot and force a quiet laugh. Your friends aren’t stupid, and it was only a matter of time before someone decided to make a comment on why you always seem to stick around Jungkooks house after one of his little gatherings. 
Jungkook follows everyone out into the hall to bid farewell then shuts the door softly and twists the lock. He turns and the two of you stare at each other for a few seconds in the middle of his living room. 
“Hi,” he says, pulling you into him, nuzzling the side of your face with his nose. 
“Everybody knows what we’re doing,” you say softly, fingers already twisting into the hem of his shirt. 
“Does that bother you?” he asks, hands slipping under your blouse, squeezing the small of your waist. His hands are so fucking warm. 
“Kind of…no…I don’t know,” you answer. 
“It doesn’t matter if they know we fuck sometimes, it’s not like they care, it’s not like they’re judging us,” he says, his lips start roaming the side of your throat. 
“I know, I don’t know why it bothers me,” you lie. You do know why it bothers you. It bothers you because eventually someone’s going to ask what’s up, and the answer is that you want to completely fuck up this friendship. It didn’t start out like that. It started the way most arrangements like this start, he was single, you were single, and you were left alone in the same room. 
It’s only been the last two or three times this has happened where you got stuck on it. Thinking about it days, even weeks after the sex, daydreaming about it. Wanting to ask him to go out just so you could hold his hand, just so you could be with him. You can’t pinpoint the exact moment you started to fall for Jungkook, but it was getting harder and harder to deny it. 
“If you don’t want to then let’s not,” he pulls away from you, lacing his fingers in yours as he places his forehead against your own. 
“I do want to,” you tell him, and that certainly isn’t a lie. Now’s not the time to have an internal battle with your logical side, so you grab his shirt hem and pull it off, then shove him down onto his sofa. 
“Strip,” he points to your body as he unbuckles his belt and undoes the button and zipper of his jeans. You watch as he shimmies them down his hips, until the base of his cock where his pubic hair gets thicker is barely showing. You’re pretty sure you were wet to begin with, but if not you certainly are now. You can feel it pooling between your thighs. 
You remember your instructions and begin removing clothes piece by piece until you’re fully naked. 
He curls his finger and beckons, “Come here pretty girl.”
You crawl onto him, straddling his lap. He tangles his fingers in your hair and pulls, tilting your head back so he can suck and lick where he wants, which starts with your neck then dips down to your chest.
“Koo…” you groan as he gently licks at your nipples, leaving wet trails and kisses between them.
“I know,” you can feel him smile against your nipple, he blows cool air against you and you instinctively grind your hips against him. “How wet are you, hm?”
He licks the pad of his middle and index fingers, then reaches between your legs, swirling them through your slick.
“Please…” you beg.
He pops his fingers back into his mouth, “So good, you taste so fucking good. Lay down.”
You fall over onto the couch and he rids himself of his remaining clothing then perches himself between your legs. He grabs one ankle and nips at your calf before propping your leg on the back of the couch. He slides your other leg off the cushion with his knee so you’re spread wide for him.
“Say please again,” he draws his tongue across his lip, wiggling the silver and black stud. “It’s so fucking hot.”
You smile shyly, “Please Koo?”
He narrows his eyes playfully and drags the back of his knuckle up your slit, you writhe on the cushions with a gasp.
“More specific,” he teases. “Tell me you want me to fuck you with my mouth.”
“Fuck,” you whine, “Please fuck me with your mouth, fucking please Jungkook.”
He chuckles, lowering himself onto his stomach. He drags his tongue down the inside of your thigh, slow and wet, then up the other leg. He’s teasing you, planting sloppy kisses everywhere except where you want him to. Finally you’ve had enough, you bury your hands in his hair and guide him to your center.
“Impatient much?” he jokes, flicking his tongue over your clit.
“It’s been a month, give me a break,” you breathe.
He pauses and looks up at you, “You haven’t…since the last time you and I?”
You want to tell him you haven’t been with anyone since you started this whole fling, not just since the last time. That might be too much information though, so you just shrug and nod your head.
He seems to contemplate this a moment, but then that mischievous smile returns, “Well let me help you out.”
He doesn’t hold back or tease this time and you lay your head back onto a throw pillow, rocking your hips in time with his expert tongue and listening to the wet noises and little moans he’s making.
“Like that…right there,” you pant. “Oh fuck…”
He sweeps his tongue over your entrance, slowly sliding your wetness up to your clit where he softly licks and sucks, sending you over the edge. You grip the edges of the couch as your body shudders and your breathing becomes uneven.
Jungkook sits up on his knees, eyes dark, cock throbbing as he wipes his mouth with the back of his arm.
“One second,” he pants, skulking off through the house, leaving you breathless and hot.
When he comes back he chews the corner off a condom wrapper, spitting the tiny piece somewhere in his living room. You grab his arm and drag him down. Wrap your arms around him, kissing and sucking his shoulder as he rolls the latex down his length and pulls your leg over his lap.
“Ride me,” he growls, gripping the sides of your ass so hard you’re sure there will be bruises. Good.
You lower yourself down on him, pausing when he’s flush inside. You wonder if you’ll ever get accustomed to the delicious stretch of him inside you and hope that never happens.
He smacks your ass with his palm, then grabs your hips, dragging you back up his length then slamming you back down.
“Fuck,” he groans, leaning his head back against the seat.
“Feel good?” you ask, taking his mouth with yours.
He nods, “mmhmm, keep going, feels so good baby.”
You kiss him once more then brace yourself on his shoulders, finding a rhythm between bouncing and grinding that makes your insides vibrate and has him coming undone beneath you.
“I’m gonna cum again,” you pant.
“Good, keep going,” he smiles. He starts meeting your bounds by thrusting himself up hard, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoes in the room, your whimpers and his moans occasionally overpowering the noise. You can feel the pull, and you bounce harder, faster, chasing it until it explodes.
Once Jungkook feels you spasm around him he holds you still, burying himself inside you while he reaches his own high.
He grabs your chin gently with his fingers and pulls you into a kiss, tongue gently pushing against yours.
“What if I wasn’t joking?” he asks, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours.
Your heart jumps inside your chest, “What do you mean?”
He pushes some of your hair off your face, “Earlier when I was texting you about being my girlfriend, what if I wasn’t joking?”
“Is that…do you want that?” you press.
“I wouldn’t be asking this if I didn’t,” he laughs.
“What about being friends for so long? Would that be weird, to change it?” you point out.
He shrugs, “I think being friends lays a pretty good foundation, why? Do you not feel the same way?”
You shake your head and laugh, “No, I feel the same way. I’ve been freaking out over how I feel about you for months Koo. I’m just blurting out all the questions I’ve been keeping to myself.”
“You could’ve said something,” he laughs with you. “You’ve always been like that, gotta hash out all the answers and outcomes in your head before you bring anyone else in.”
“What can I say,” you shrug, “I’m hard to handle. You think you’re up for the job?”
“Most definitely, pretty girl.”
Endnote:
1. This is very unbeta’d because it’s just for fun and so very unserious. So there’s that. Also I’m very out of practice writing smut so also that. Ok thanks 💜 if you made it far enough to read this I’m giving you a virtual smooch 😘
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cheriladycl01 · 1 day
Text
My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 6
Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.
A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!
Credit to countingstars-17 for the GIF
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After the shit show of a party, you woke up earlier than everyone else and left the docked boat. You caught the earliest flight back to the UK. You were so pissed with your friends and brother that they’d just up and left you in the club.
The whole flight home, you pondered whether you just really needed to grow up about ever situation in your life.
Lando and the clubbing group leaving you? They were drunk and probably saw you with loads of other people and assumed you were safe and good.
Charles admitting his feelings for you? You arguably needed to focus more on your career that you’d worked so hard for, you didn’t have time for boys and if Charlie really did care for you like he said, he would understand.
Max sleeping or dating your best friend? Good for him, he should be happy.
You needed to not be bitter about all of these minor blips in your life and just get on with it.
Little did you know that this would create a version of you so far from her normal bubbly self that even people who hadn’t spoken to you in years would be able to tell something wasn’t right with you.
Max and Charles had both tried to contact you through texts and phone calls all which had been ignored, you knew it was for the best to just let it all go and leave it at a what could have been. You had responsibilities far greater that you needed to focus on.
When it came to after the summer having left your brother and gone travelling on your own, updating your Instagram and family group chat whenever you managed to get wifi, you were back and raring to go for your home race.
Lando had sent a text to the family group chat asking who would be coming. He wanted to invite Luisa and only had two passes to give out. So that would mean one for Luisa and one for his dad.
Lando - Can you give your paddock passes to mum and Flo, Cisca can’t make it because of Uni
Y/N - Kinda awkward i had someone in mind i wanted to bring :(
Lando - come on its mum and your little sister Y/N don’t be rude and give up your pass to some random dude you met in Bali …
You ignored it, before going to McLaren and begging Zac for a spare paddock pass. You gave your original 2 to your mum and Flo, but your next one went to Nathan Bishop, he was a goalkeeper for Manchester United and you’d met him on a trip you’d been doing in Bali and he immediately knew who you were and you guys got talking and one thing led to another and you were inviting each other to your sports.
In the time you’d travelled he’d became a really good friend and you didn’t feel as lonely as you had since starting in F1. It was really refreshing.
You met him before, driving him to the paddock in your McLaren and pulling up into the Silverstone car park together.
“Thanks for the pass, I’ve never been to a race before so this is actually really exciting for me” he smiles waiting as you grab your bag from the back seat.
“Always welcome!” You grinned back.
“Mmmm and I’m excited to see if you are really as good as you say you are!” He teases elbowing you as you swipe your pass through the paddock scanners.
“Hey! I am a good driver! I got you here safely didn’t I?” You smile and he just nods, you point out various bits of the paddock talking about all the hustle and bustle and all the different teams and the workers running around fitting last minute bits to the motorhomes.
“Oh come on! We need to get you some McLaren team merch!” You grin pulling him to the quiet fan zone thanks to the early time it was and going to the merch stool.
“Hiya! Oh Y/N! How are you?” The worker smiles noticing it’s you.
“Hey! I’m really good! How are you? It’s hot today, make sure you drink lots of water! Radio through and ask for top ups yeah? And don’t forget sun cream!” You chide knowing sometimes the workers forget that they are humans and will push themselves till breaking point!
“Thank you! Really and I’m all good” she says flashing you the large icy bottle of water she had behind the stand with her. “What can I get for you?”
“Any chance we can get the Y/N number hat?” You grin turning to look at Nathan who just rolls his eyes but can’t help the smile that comes into his face.
“Sure! We have lots on stock today, as you know it’s home race! Good luck by the way! I know you’ll do great!” She smiles and hands you the number 42 on the baseball cap. You place it on Nathan’s head who just laughs at your antics but keeps that hat on before paying the lady for it in cash.
“Hey! I was gonna pay for it! I’m the one that got you to buy merch!” You exclaim in horror.
“Mmmm but it’s my hat … so I should pay for it!” He explains with a cat like grin.
“Argh fine come on! I want to show you round the garage and do track walk with you!” You say gently taking his hand and pulling him through the growing numbers of people in the paddock.
You showed him all around the garage and even let him sit in your car which he was really impressed with how low to the ground it felt, and how much the halo restricted vision. After showing him the pit wall and all of the engineers working and running around before free practice you took him out onto the track to do a walk.
The sun wasn’t as harsh anymore and it had started to cloud over a little bit meaning that the track walk wasn’t as strenuous as you anticipated it would be.
You guys walked around talking about the season so far and how it felt being a rookie along with Yuki Tsunoda.
Afterwards it was time for you to have a team meeting and you didn’t want to leave Nathan on his own so you walked him to the hospitality suite to find your parents.
“Mum Dad! Hey this is Nathan! Can you just watch out for him while I’m in the car please!” You ask kindly showing Nathan to a seat with your family.
“Of course sweetheart! Hi Nathan, I’m Adam, this is my wife Cisca” he introduces standing up slightly and leaning forward to shake the younger gentleman’s hand.
“You gonna be okay?” You ask, unsure if you should just bring him to the garage and find him a seat and headphones and leave him there.
“Yeah - I’ll be” he starts only for commotion behind to stop his words.
“Sorry, I’m running late. Oh … whose this?” Lando asks looking over to Nathan, someone he didn’t think would be around his family.
“This is your sisters guest, hence the hat” your mum explained pointing to the hat still on Nathans head.
“Right … yeah I just came here to drop Luisa off. Please look after her and … you know don’t be weird” he begs as Luisa starts to talk to both Flo and Nathan.
“We’re never weird! Now you both have to go get ready!” your dad grins forcing you both away.
You start to walk together to the garage in an awkward silence until Lando breaks it.
“So you brought a boyfriend with you?” Lando scoffs looking towards you.
“And what if I did?” What’s it to you, you brought Luisa!” You say looking to him confused why it was such an issue you’d brought a guy (who wasn’t anything to do with you romantically).
“Because your playing with a lot of hearts here Y/N and it’s not exactly fair. First Charles, then Max, then Charles again and then Max and now this guy? Max and Charles are my friends Y/N and I can’t help but feel like your going to go one step too far and ruin all of this …” he complains and for a second your stunned into silence not knowing what to even say.
“How am I toying with Max and Charles when Max is off with my best friend and Charles … is so hot headed that I don’t know if I can take the heat of him yelling at me for an overtake every race weekend! So how am I the one playing with hearts when it’s feels like mines the only one being toyed with, even by my own fucking brother!” You cried out frustrated with him, but that was Lando. He always spoke before he thought about what he was saying. Both a blessing and a curse.
You started to hurry off no longer wanting to entertain this conversation.
“Y/N wait … I didn’t mean it like that” Lando admits speeding up after you and walking in step with you trying to slow you down.
“We have a meeting to get to. Let’s not waste anymore time” you say coldly, so coldly it actually caused Lando to shiver as he never had heard that tone of voice or anything remotely close come from you.
Briefing for what it was, was pretty boring only talking about the upgrades they’d brought to this weeks Grand Prix. Lando had the full package and you had half, the others to come next week in Hungary.
You were in the garage after changing into your fireproofs, your race suit hanging down off your hips talking to your engineer about strategy for Silverstone, but it was always changeable depending on the track temp and the weather.
FP1 clearly showed Landos new flashy upgrades and how much quicker it made the car placing him in P2 in between Max and Lewis, the two battling it out for the championship this year.
As for you down in 9th you’d just been testing the track and were on different tyres to the top few people, wanting to test out the hards.
As the weekend progressed and the less you concentrated on all of yours issues and just had fun while concentrating on the race weekend you got better. Ending up starting in a decent P6 for the race and getting points in the Sprint that was held earlier on in the day.
“Okay Y/N, it’s looking like Plan B. Reports of rain on the radar for the last half of the race” your engineer says as you pull up into your P6 stop, next to Lando both your Orange McLarens locking out your row.
“Okay, do we have a pit plan?” You ask knowing you were on mediums in hopes they’d last long enough to get you onto Intermediates or Wet if it’s due to rain that badly.
“We’re checking now, looking into stuff with Lando too and seeing what the other teams and looking at doing, but looking like Pit Plan E”
“Yep, copied” he grit out unhappy that they are already prioritising your brother.
“Well Y/N let’s get racing for you first F1 home race! Lecelrc and Bottas in front of you and Lando, Alonso and Vettel behind you and both. And then Max and Hamilton front row” he explains, you knew you had to get a good start to overtake your brother and possibly Charles if there was an opening so as you were driving round the formation lap, you cleared your mind of everything but racing.
Taglist:
@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall l @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount
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blitzwhore · 2 days
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
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Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
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[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
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Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
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[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
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class1akids · 2 days
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BNHA Chapter 425 - Thoughts
So I guess Hori did decide to just skip the end of the battle, my hospital academia and go straight to UA graduation?
It was teased back in Ch 360, so yeah it needed to happen and it seems like drawing Neijire is a special happy place for Hori (also the sketch he couldn't even wait until Sunday to drop, lol)
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Mic DJ-ing right after ShiraGiri's death is sort of odd, but on top of the gags, there are some more serious moments.
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What stood out to me was Mirio's comment about how the heroes' fight "is always for the sake of returning the negatives to zero on the whole." It reminded me of Ch 341 - The Story of how We All Became Heroes Minus ① which featured Touya, Toga, Spinner and of course Tomura suffering the transformation. So I can't help but feel it's related to the LoV's fate.
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The class is together 😭 crying like a proud parent (whose tumblr handle just became obsolete).... and Aizawa is staying. Yay. After 400+ chapters they made it to second year!!!
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Bakugou omg, out of the hospital in a tie which he somehow tied with one hand, being calm... (it's still odd to the others? - but I guess his apology happened like 3 weeks ago in-verse). It seems like he might end up with a scar, just like Izuku (and it's a bit like Kudou's, of course).
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Aoyama leaving - I talked about this in one of the asks, but for me it's ok that it's his choice being respected and that the class clearly would be happy to have him stay. Though I wonder if his parents are just suddenly given amnesty for being "AFO's victims" and what that may mean for other villains.
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Shinsou joins Class A long at last. Yay! Is he going to get Aoyama's room or join the 5th floor boys? I do wonder if the kids are still in the dorms even.
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The Fuwa-stans are getting fed. But Class 2-A (can't get used to this...) will take a year long field trip around Japan. Reminds me of the 100 million tour newpaper sketches.
I liked Shoto mentioning AFO - how he was born in an era of turmoil (which I read as him saying that preventing the rise of such villains is now). It also seems to contradict what All Might said last chapter about Deku already being the greatest hero to everyone.
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But also Shouto speaks. Normal speech bubbles. Has a normal voice! Yay! (still don't get it why he didn't speak in Ch 422 though)
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Izuku looks troubled. Either because of what Shouto said or because of Fuwa senpai's comments about needing to experience a sudden death to understand why you'd want to be a hero. He certainly is not ready to run celebratory circles.
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Watch them all walk together (TDBK covered by Iida's speech bubble, but I recognize them from Shouto's messenger bag and Katsuki's loose pants)
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OMG, these guys are a total disaster. I don't know what Deku wanted to say, but Ochako obviously shut him down (and thought it was about her "let him rest" speech which apparently the class keeps teasing her for). Also Hori is using her to explain Deku's haircut.
And here, she looks weirdly happy compared to last time, but it could be just a front...
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poor Deku though... he thinks she hates his haircut
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No idea who the new guy is, but looks like someone escaped / let loose from a medical facility. Could be regenerated Tenko I guess or someone similar to him who can be saved by Deku this time. I prefer it to be the real Tenko because I want to see Tenko Rising. I think he looks too young to be Deku's dad tbh.
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TDDK scene !!! Yay!!! (I wonder if Deku tries to talk both to Ochako and Shouto because of his feelings about Tenko... I really badly want a saviour squad scene)
Todoroki looks hopeful but not sure if it's genuine (it could be putting on a front to stop Izuku from worrying). But his foot is like when he went to see his mom the first time, so I tend to read that right now as a good sign.
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"っし" (?????) - there is definitely a shift of emotion.
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Endeavor is sitting in front of a giant tank / or secure room window. (?) (Probably the same window Shouto was looking in last chapter.
From the context and framing it's clear that it's Touya. For now alive. Endeavor is finally keeping his promise and is watching.
And the editorial blurb also suggests we may get Hellish Todoroki Family 3 after the two weeks break. I'm very worried, but also since we are strapping in for a longer epilogue it seems, I don't expect things to go smoothly for them just yet.
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scoonsalicious · 2 days
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9.2 Major
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of past cheating.
Word Count: 2.3k
Previously On...: Bucky and Lily had a conversation. Now Lily knows you and Bucky are dating.
A/N: Sorry this is late; I had to clean out my office after hours today. It was... an experience, to say the least :/
If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3
NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates
Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!
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“I think you’re a fucking idiot,” your best friend, Hannah Santiago, said to you as you sat in the coffee shop across the street from The WarZone. She had been furious with you when you hadn’t answered her texts all weekend, so you promised her a lunch date to catch her up on your last few days in the company of one Bucky Barnes.
She did not appear to be taking it very well.
“Why?” you asked, mildly insulted. “He’s amazing, Han. I think you’ll really like him when you get to know him.”
Hannah rolled her eyes at you. “Oh, I’m sure he’s a peach,” she agreed with just a hint of sarcasm. “Though I’d probably feel better about it if you got to know him, too, before shacking up with him for days on end!”
“It’s NRE,” you told her, as if that perfectly explained the intense connection you felt you shared with Bucky. “That New Relationship Energy.”
“Oh my god,” Hannah groaned. “Get off of TikTok. You’re too fucking old for that shit.” A mother at the next table over with an infant in a stroller gave her a disapproving look and audibly tsked at her, but Hannah just responded with a glare.
“It’s great for marketing,” you grumbled.
“Look,” Hannah conceded with a sigh, “I’m sure this guy is wonderful, really. But (Y/N), sweetie, you haven’t had a serious relationship since you and Connor split.” You opened your mouth to protest, despite knowing she was right, but Hannah silenced you with a look. “I’m not saying I don’t want you to get back out there; lord knows it's past time– I just want you to be smart about it and not rush into anything headfirst with someone you barely know.”
Logically, of course, you knew Hannah was right. “He suggested we should put a pause on having sex so we can focus on getting to know each other better,” you offered. 
Hannah raised a well-manicured eyebrow. “Okay, that’s interesting,” she said. “Especially if it was as good as you said it was.”
You dropped your chin into your hand as you rested your elbow against the table and sighed dreamily. “Hannah, it’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I swear, I don’t even know if I can call anything Connor ever gave me an actual orgasm after then things Bucky’s done to my body.”
The mother at the next table muttered something about “inappropriate talk” under her breath, but loud enough that you both could hear her. 
“Last time I checked,” Hannah said pointedly at you, though projecting her voice so that you knew it was actually for the other woman’s benefit, “‘inappropriate’ speech is still free speech. So sue me, please.”
You rolled your eyes good naturedly. As a First Amendment litigator, Hannah took Freedom of Speech extremely seriously. “Han,” you warned. “Let it go. This isn’t a courtroom.”
“Fine,” your friend said, ignoring the mother as she stood up and walked away with her stroller. “I’m just worried about you,” she said. “The last time you jumped headfirst into a relationship without really knowing the guy, you ended up married for nine years.”
You hated that she was right– you did have a track record of impulsive relationship decisions. “I appreciate you looking out for me,” you offered, reaching out to squeeze Hannah’s hand across the table. 
“So, do you really see this turning into a long term thing?” Hannah asked, genuinely curious. “Because I’ll support you if you do; I’ll just tell you I told you so if it all falls apart at your feet.”
“I think I do,” you told her, choosing to ignore her jab about rubbing failure in your face. “I know it’s early, but… I’m happy when I’m with him. There’s just the one issue with his–” You paused, not quite sure you wanted to divulge the Lily-sized elephant in your relationship with Bucky just yet.
“One issue with what?” Hannah asked. “And you better not say ‘nothing,’ otherwise I will use my cross examination skills against you,” she threatened. 
Having no desire to subject yourself to that, you relented. “It’s just… he’s got this female best friend–”
“Oh, hell no!” Hannah said, loudly enough to attract the attention of most of the other coffee shop patrons. “Nope, we are not doing this, (Y/N). I will not stand by and watch you go through that all over again.”
Truthfully, this was the reaction you had been expecting. “I’m not the same person I was back then, Han,” you protested. “Bucky’s not Connor, and Lily’s not Danielle.”
You understood your friend’s anger on your behalf. When Connor had promised you there was nothing between him and his childhood best friend, Danielle, you’d naively believed him, despite the gnawing sensation in your gut that told you something wasn’t right with their relationship. It was years before the instinct grew enough to convince you to look at his phone and you had found thousands of text messages between the two of them. You’d promptly thrown up.
His reaction had been textbook. At first, he tried to gaslight you– you didn’t see what you thought you saw; you were taking innocent conversations out of context (though, you weren’t sure how much context the exchanging of nudes really needed). Then, he tried to shift the blame on you– you were never around, always away on deployment or assignments. You emasculated him by getting promoted again and again, until you outranked him, and how was he supposed to live with that? Finally, he love bombed you, showering you with compliments and praise, begging you to forgive him, making promises you knew he would never keep, telling you he’d do anything to get you to stay.
Except for cutting off all contact with Danielle, apparently. He was willing to do anything, anything at all to regain your trust… just not the one thing you’d actually asked of him.
In the end, the divorce had been relatively straight forward. You weren’t stupid. You’d made sure to take screenshots of all of the text conversations between him and his mistress in case he deleted them. You’d even recorded the conversation you had with him when you confronted him, and he’d actually admitted to it. 
There were a lot of things you had disliked about the United States Army, but their stance on cheating hadn’t been one of them. Connor had ended up demoted, and you were able to maintain all of your financial assets without having to shell out anything for spousal support, despite the fact that you had out-earned him by more than double. 
As for Danielle? Well, you became an expert at giving her the cold shoulder and pretending like she didn’t exist.
“You never thought Connor would end up like Connor, either,” Hannah told you pointedly. “And yet.”
You sighed. Your friend had a point, you knew she did, but you just couldn’t imagine Bucky doing that to you. 
“Look, I’m not trying to shit in your cornflakes,” Hannah said. “I love you and I’m worried about you. I don’t want to see you rush into something and make the same mistakes again. That’s all.”
“I know, I know,” you agreed. And you really did. Hannah had been your biggest source of support when your marriage had gone to hell. She’d set you up with your attorney, let you stay with her while your housing situation got sorted, and had been your shoulder to cry on all the nights you had too much to drink and swore you were going to die alone. 
“Look, I promise to not jump into anything crazy,” you assured her. “I’ve learned my lesson.”
*
After saying your goodbyes to Hannah so she could return to her firm, you headed back over to The WarZone, hoping to get yourself absorbed in some work so you could get your mind off of Hannah’s worries before they became your worries, too. Natasha should be arriving shortly for her standing Tuesday appointment, and you were hoping to chat with her for a few minutes once she was done. 
The bell above the entry door rang cheerfully as you pushed your way inside, but the atmosphere in the lobby felt unnaturally heavy. You looked up from your phone to see Rand leaning against the reception desk with his arms crossed, glaring at someone across the room, and Zadie trying to pretend to look busy at her computer.
You followed Rand’s gaze and locked eyes with Bucky. His giant frame was spread out across one of the lounge chairs, and he seemed to have been watching Rand with a puzzled sort of wariness. When he turned to look at you, though, a blinding smile broke across his face that made your knees feel weak.
“Hey, sugar,” he greeted, standing up and making his way toward you. 
You moved to meet him halfway. “Hiya, Sarge,” you said, putting your arms around his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him hello. “I missed you.” 
“Oh yeah?” he asked, a teasing glint in his eye as his hands settled on your hips. “I just saw you yesterday.”
“Lotta lonely hours between then and now, Bucky,” you told him evocatively, toying your fingers through the hairs at the nape of his neck.
The loud sound of a clearing throat brought your attention back to Rand, who was looking at you in disbelief. “Really?” he asked.
“Oh, sorry–” you said, purposefully ignoring Rand’s meaning. “Where are my manners? Bucky, this is my office assistant, Zadie–” Zadie waved enthusiastically from her perch behind the reception desk, “-- and my Midtown location manager, Rand. Guys,” you said, taking an excited breath, “this is Bucky.”
“It’s so nice to meet you, Bucky,” Zadie said enthusiastically, and you knew the orchid and note he had sent you on Saturday had definitely won her over to his side. “Major’s told us so much about you.”
“Yeah,” added Rand through gritted teeth, “we’ve heard an awful lot about you, Mr. Barnes.” You shot him a look, silently pleading for him to be nice, or at least remove himself before he said something offensive.
“It’s nice to meet you both, as well,” Bucky said, ever the gentleman. He made to move, and you highly suspected he was going to try to shake hands with them. While you had no doubt Zadie would be friendly, you wouldn’t put it past Rand to just be a dick for the hell of it, so you wrapped your arms around Bucky’s midsection and drew yourself toward him, keeping him in place.
“So,” you began, hoping to distract him from your manager’s open hostility, “to what do I owe the pleasure? Because it is a pleasure to see you, especially when unexpected.”
Bucky smiled and moved a hand to brush a lock of hair away from your face. “Nat mentioned she was coming down for her weekly visit,” he said. “She invited me to come join her; thought I’d like to check out the place for myself.” He leaned in to whisper conspiratorially: “And if I just so happened to run into this pretty girl I’ve had my eye on, well, that would be a bonus.”
His words made your insides dance, leaving you feeling like a giddy teenager. “You’ll have to let me know if she shows up, Sarge,” you teased. “I’ll try to put a good word in for you.”
“You’d do that for me? Thanks, doll,” he grinned.
“Of course, handsome. Where is Nat, anyway?” you asked. The redhead hadn’t been in the lobby when you came in.
“She had to take a phone call. Avengers stuff,” Bucky offered with a shrug. “She shouldn’t be too long.”
As if on cue, the main door opened and Natasha breezed into the lobby. She caught sight of you and Bucky with your arms around one another immediately and threw a knowing smirk your way. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she said. She turned to Bucky and rolled her eyes. “Fury had some questions about the last mission that apparently couldn’t be saved for an email.”
“Fucking bureaucracy,” he muttered. 
“Tell me about it.” Nat’s frown quickly transformed into delighted glee as she rubbed her hands together. “Alright, Barnes. You ready to fuck some shit up?”
“Oh,” chirped Zadie. “I’m sorry, Ms. Romanoff; we didn’t have you down for a doubles’ room. Just your usual single.”
“Zadie, just move them to a VIP room,” you told your office assistant. You turned to Nat. “That should be more than big enough for the both of you.”
“They’re also significantly extra in price,” Rand interjected. 
“Waive the fee,” you said. 
“Sugar,” Bucky said, looking down at you, “that’s not necessary; we can pay the difference.”
“I’m not going to make my boy– er, um… my friends pay for an upgrade I offered them that they didn’t ask for. For fucks’ sake, Rand.” You hoped no one noticed your slipup, but the way Bucky was grinning down at you and squeezing your hip let you know it hadn’t gotten past him at all. 
“No problem, Major,” Zadie said. “Room 5c is available and all ready to go.”
“I’m sure you’re busy being the big boss, doll,” Bucky said as you moved to escort him and Nat to the elevators. You’d be having a chat with Rand later. “But any chance you could join us? I’d really like my first time to be with you.”
“Oh my god,” gagged Natasha. “You’re pathetic, Barnes. Seriously. That was bad.”
“So bad,” you agreed with a laugh, “but it worked.” You grinned at the both of them. “Yeah, of course I’ll help you pop your rage room cherry.”
<- Previous Part / Next Part ->
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THE MEDIATOR AND THE INSTIGATOR.
(moon system) marc spector x reader — angst
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summary. you and marc have been casually dating for a while now, though he finds it hard to admit his feelings. steven fronts to comfort you after a tiny argument, and he finds it hard to contain his own feelings towards you
word count. 1290
wrote this to get me out of a writers block and did a spinning wheel to help. so here we are, enjoy the slight heartache x
With Marc, things weren't always so straightforward. Either things were dramatised and blown beyond proportion or, on the contrary, brushed under the carpet and ignored. It was tricky to find a plain levelling road between you.
You've been seeing each other casually for the last several months, and it was still so hard to pull a genuine emotional response from Marc. Just something to let you know he felt the same way as you, just something to let you know you were both going in the same direction.
He kept his feelings behind a stoic wall, never wanting to allow someone the opportunity to jump it. Although sometimes, he would show small snippets of his feelings towards you - doing something cute and instantly brushing it off with a casual, throwaway comment: a singular flower on your pillow in the morning or your favourite snack stocked in the cupboards, for him to then say he doesn't know how it got there.
It's little things like these that you desperately clung to, tiny moments that gave you hope.
You often felt a continuous spiral of confusion revolving around your own feelings. In your heart, you knew you wanted to give things a genuine go with Marc, but that lingering thought remained intact in the forefront of your mind. The thought that you shouldn't have to convince someone to be with you - that you should never have to force someone to want you.
You had stayed over Marc's last night, and you woke this morning to an empty bed and a flower resting on your phone atop the nightstand. You smile at the singular red rose and sit up, placing your hand on Marc's side of the mattress - feeling how warm it is. He must've been up a while because the sheets were stone cold.
Scooching across the bed, you stand and slip on your pyjama bottoms - walking out of the bedroom to locate Marc. Within a few quick moments, you find him sitting at the kitchen table - a bowl in front. He gives you a short nod, lips forming an ever-so-faint smile when you get closer.
He was distancing himself again.
"Morning," you say, walking past him. You grab a bowl from the cupboard and a spoon from the drawer and go to sit opposite him, filling your dish with the cereal on the table. "Do you want to do something today?" you ask, pouring the milk into your bowl.
"Can't. I have plans," he says, tone like that of dismissal. He stands, picking up his bowl to place it in the sink - leaving you again.
You nod, sadly smiling as you prod your spoon into the floating flakes. "What about after?" you offer, trying again.
"I'll let you know," he murmurs, barely looking over his shoulder, heading for the bedroom.
You sigh, feeling frustrated. Moments like these undid all the progress between you. Everything you worked so hard towards - gone. You no longer felt like eating your breakfast, and as the seconds passed, you stayed there at the empty table, staring at the pieces of cereal growing soggy.
You hear scuffling from the other room, presumably from Marc getting ready for the day - you hear muffled talking, though no words are cohesive enough for you to pick up on. You sit there, silently debating what to do. One part was begging to barge into the room and force him into talking. The other part had the urge to get up and leave.
You decide partially on the latter and stand from your seat at the table, walking across his apartment and into his bedroom. You knock firmly at the ajar door, peering your head through the gap.
"I need to get my clothes. Can I come in?" you ask, tone pointed.
He hums faintly, the floorboards creaking under his weight as he moves to pull on the handle - letting you in.
Keeping your eyes away from his direction, you walk around his bed and collect your things - throwing everything in your overnight bag.
"Where are you going?" Marc questions, halting in his placement by the dresser.
"Home," you reply shortly, continuing to pack your belongings. You undress and put on what you wore last night when you came over - throwing your sweats back on.
"Why?" he asks, voice far more gentle than those moments before in the kitchen.
You ignore his questioning and shove on your shoes. But Marc is quick to notice your attempts to leave, so he moves to stand in front of the bedroom door - blocking it.
Your head cocks to the side as you sigh, unamused by his sudden care. You step forward, hoping that he'll take the hint and step aside, though he doesn't.
"Why?" he repeats, his tone just as desperate - maybe even more so.
"I don't feel welcome here, I just want to go home," you reply honestly, gesturing for him to move. "We'll talk about it another day, just not now."
"Let's talk about it now," he prompts, eyes soft as he focuses on you. It was clear he didn't want you leaving him, especially right now.
"You never want to talk about anything."
"I want to now."
"What? When I'm trying to leave? That's when you care?"
He stills, his expression firming. Unknowingly you hit a sore spot. "Yeah, go on, then. Leave. Everyone else does, anyway," he sneers, moving from the door - walking to stand in his previous spot in front of the dresser.
You pause, taken aback by his comment. Does he not know how hard you've tried with him? How patient you have been?
"What's that supposed to mean?" you ask turning to face him, voice firm and frustrated.
He's focused on the mirror ahead, looking at himself - muttering things to the other person in the reflection.
You linger in your spot, waiting for Marc to say something. Though he never does.
"Alright?" he greets - the face is the same, but the accent is not.
"Steven?" you question, your tone far softer now.
He hums, taking a seat at the edge of the bed, patting beside him. You follow suit, sitting next to him - hand beside his.
"He's trying," Steven says, speaking like the mediator. "He just finds it... hard."
You nod. You understood, you understood it all. You knew of his past, and why he is the way he is - and that's why you were always so patient with him. It wasn't his fault. It's just how he is, the way he grew up. You were just hoping that by now, he'd be comfortable enough to let you in the same way you did him. If there is no trust, how ever can it work?
"I just wish..." you pause, twisting around to face Steven. "I wish he was honest with me— you are," you pick up his hand, holding it in yours. "You're honest."
He sighs faintly with a soft shake of the head, retracting his hand from your hold. "Give him a chance— just one more, yeah?"
You awkwardly place your hands on your lap, moving them away from Steven.
"Marc loves you, you know. He really does," he says, voice gentle, his face wounded. He diverts from your gaze, turning away to look at the mirror. "He just can't admit it to himself."
You follow his eyeline, trying to see what he sees, but he's quick to turn back around - his gaze now locked on you beside him. He's quiet as he places his palm over your knee, the warmth and touch familiar like all those times before - it's Marc.
"I'm ready to talk now."
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never wrote them together before/ part of the moon system, scary shit
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skyfallscotland · 2 days
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@heartfeltletters-written asked me 💥 How do you feel about criticism? and it felt like something that needed its own post, so here goes: the hypocrisy of critics in modern fandoms, an essay.
Criticism. I don't like getting it or giving it when it comes to writing. I struggle to even gently give it to friends, even when they ask me what I think of their work. Writing is such a personal thing that we pour our heart and soul into and like you say, many criticisms aren't necessarily valid. By that I mean, there's a difference between "Amy you use em dashes a lot babe" (I do) and "This story would have been so much better if Remi were a virgin" (actual criticism I have received, lmao). 
Unlike traditional authors, we will never make money from this, we do it for the love of it and it's time we will never get back. For some of us, it's time we could be working on our own original manuscripts too. I don't think people who give the second type of criticism are writers, generally. They don't understand the craft and what goes into it. Whenever I post and someone says a chapter was short or they immediately ask when the next one is, and that's all they say, I die inside a little. I try not to take it personally, but it's hard.
Personally, I think fandom behaviour is getting worse and that flows over into our comment sections and tumblr asks. I have a whole other dissertation on this that we’ll call ‘the slow death of fandom as we know it: an essay’, but that’s perhaps for another post. I don’t know how welcomed that commentary would be. 
You said the word ‘entitled’ in your original ask and I think that’s spot on. People have become more entitled in general and downright rude (which is not restricted to online spaces, by the way). I write for ACOTAR, but you’ve never seen me discuss it here because no matter what you say in that regard, you can’t win. Someone will always attack you and I do mean attack. Even in regards to Fourth Wing, I don't talk about my opinions a lot outside of my own little bubble of friends and readers.
And that's the kicker to this whole conversation, really. If I were to criticise Iron Flame/RY everyone would jump down my throat (as has happened on other platforms), even though I'd never say it to her face. Do I stand by my opinions? Absolutely. But it would be rude to tell her them, unless asked. I’m not allowed to (validly) criticise certain elements of her story, a published novel, without being attacked for it, but those same people are fine criticising my work directly to me. Hypocrisy at its finest.
There’s a new influx of people to fandom spaces who are completely unwilling to integrate and completely unwilling to be kind. You mentioned those who criticised your work could have saved themselves the trouble and read the tags, but the thing is: they don’t want to. They can’t be bothered to take five seconds and figure out how they work, to curate their own experience, because that’s what half these people are like. They want an algorithm to do it for them, gods help us.
For me, personally, I'm my biggest critic. I also have raging generalised anxiety, so just posting on the internet is enough to send me spiralling (seriously, I feel sick just typing this out). It's very, very out of my comfort zone and I've been very, very lucky so far to have cultivated the readership I have, full of very like-minded people. Perhaps due to some of the darker content matter. But the second I get harshly worded comments, I get upset.
I don't say that to elicit sympathy, it's just a fact. I get upset about it the same way I would if you were standing in front of me saying it to my face, and for someone with depression and anxiety, that lingers. I'm getting better at laughing at them, but it's like when someone tells you they don't like you and your mum says "just ignore them"—not that easy, right? 
So yeah, I don't mind if you want to tell me I use a lot of em dashes, or that I've used a word incorrectly in context, but I don't need to hear how much you hate original character fic when you could just use your last remaining braincell the back button and continue on with your day. Just be kind, is all I'm saying.
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mister-dirty-hands · 9 hours
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the bitches want me so bad but they won't get me
finn • he/him• queer • neurodivergent • minor
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this blog is mainly just reblogs, goofing off with my mutuals, shitposting, swearing, and being hella gay.
dni list: homophobes, transphobes, zionists, ableists, racists, sexists fatphobes, and anyone else who supports harmful or discriminatory prejudices.
i'm cool with adults interacting, as long as y'all keep it chill and shit.
note: i don't like to talk about politics here on tumblr. it's my chill out place, and i'd like to keep it that way.
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
about me
i enjoy writing, reading, drawing, and maybe the occasional singing
i listen to mostly angsty music
i write fanfic on ao3 here
i'm intp-t + gryffindor + apollo cabin
hyperfixation with crows and rome
i tend to have an existential crisis every other day
i promise you can't find anyone gayer than me
i like to make moodboards :33
i prefer emoticons over emojis but i do use both a fair amount
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
things you should know
i'm pretty socially awkward so this is my apology in advance to everyone i inevitably offend or annoy
speaking of which, i don't always pick up on jokes and sarcasm
i love asks but i get kinda oversimulated when my ask box gets clogged up so don't spam thanks
my notifs are always blowing up so sorry if i miss a comment or reblog
i don't always respond to things right away (even dms)
i'm kinda sensitive so sometimes i may not respond to your jokes- it's not personal, it's just me
tone indicators are appreciated, but it's not like i'll stab you if you don't use it
if you're a mutual, feel free to call me endearments like love, darling, dear, whatever (just don't be overly weird about it)
i have really dirty humor so if that makes you uncomfortable sorry
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
sideblogs
@your-honor-im-zesty <- pjo/hoo sideblog
@im-actually-a-certified-idiot <- hp/marauders sideblog
@thoushallwrite <- writing sideblog
@a-poetic-loser <- poetry sideblog
@random-polls-i-do-for-fun <- polls sideblog
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fandoms
harry potter/marauders
percy jackson/heroes of olympus
six of crows/shadow and bones
marvel
hunger games
wednesday
anne with an e
outer banks
high class homos
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
tags
@seekmemystar i finally came up with a few new tags are you happy now
CROWS/caw caw <- i'm talking about crows
finn shitposts <- i shitpost
the crow caws back <- i answer asks
the crow flies away <- i leave/log off
practicing my spanish like god intended <- i attempt to speak spanish
back in my day gays didn't even know they existed <- i attempt satire homophobia (key word: satire)
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
crowdom
the crowdom is basically just a silly little kingdom of crows i rule over. anyone's free to join, as long as we're mutuals (that way i know you). just send an ask and i'll give you a list of roles to pick.
it started out as a joke, but we do polls and discussions every once in a while. last i checked, @xeme-starx was voted to rot in prison (how's that working out for you ethan?)
every once in a while i drop crowdom lore (if someone asks) so feel free to send asks about it.
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
mutuals
i adore each and every one of my mutuals dearly, but obviously, i can't tag everyone. sooo here's a few i talk to pretty often:
@themortalityofundyingstars <- gay dad
@garden-of-runar <- lesbian poet who's apparently my aunt
@gildy-locks <- proud anti-communist
@rheas-chaos-motivation <- FUCK THE PIGEONS RHEA
@picklerab23 <- just a silly goose fr
@tequilaqueen <- sweet person (why is she on this hellsite again?)
honorable mention: @ang3lic-t3ars <- sunflower dealer, she be dropping the crack frfr
★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★•★
anyway that's all. this will probably be deleted and recreated in 2 weeks- who knows? i love making new intro posts and i can't promise i won't change it.
go stay hydrated, eat, rest. whatever. don't do any stupid shit or i'll haunt your asks (looking at you, runar)
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yendts · 2 days
Note
Thoughts on Valgrace? Would you ever draw them? I love your art so much 🖤🥹
hii thank youuu <3 ik we already talked about my valgrace thoughts but i thought why not share the long winded version here too!
firstly yes! i just posted my doodle of them here and i definitely wanna draw more of them in the future bc they’re very cute
despite me drawing them and reading fics and all that i don’t actually ship them? sorta? i’m more of an unrequited valgracer. i fully think leo was in love with jason from the moment they met with the way he talks about him and praises and admires him. my personal favorite moment is when he landed on calypso’s island and his first thought was “it would make sense for her to fall in love with jason. he’s so hot and strong” like brother you found out about a eternal love curse and your first thought is your guy best friend?? homosexual behavior. also his flirty behavior with everyone is so bi coded i can’t see it any other way bc that character trope is one of my favs (ie. lance from voltron, sokka from atla, steve from stranger things, all the same characters in different fonts to me)
jason on the other hand is completely aromantic (+bisexual) to me and i cant see him having romantic feelings for anyone. i think a little bit bc of nature but mostly due to nurture and camp jupiter and trauma. (i’ve been wanting to make a post going into further detail on why with evidence and stuff but im lazy.) but therefore he doesn’t return feelings for leo and just sees him as a best friend. i think jason would be attracted to people who are of equal power to him (piper, reyna, percy…) now don’t get me wrong i think leo is insanely powerful and smart and talented, top 3 of the seven stuff, but the difference between him and the other three is his lack of confidence and his outward self deprecating comments i think unknowingly jason would see it as a sign of weakness because of how camp jupiter raised him. even piper is insecure with her powers but outwardly she radiates power and confidence
both their stories individually are already so tragic when it comes to life and relationships and this just makes it even more so. i think leo deserves someone like jason who loves him for who he is and accepts all his quirks and neurodivergencies (another reason i think leo would latch onto him) but i just dont think jason can be that person for him
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greatstormcat · 13 hours
Note
Hi there. I wanted to make a request for something a bit personal. All this week, my family has been criticizing my weight (which I have struggled with my whole life) and told me point-blank that no one would ever love me because of it. That being said, I would like to request a writing with Soap. Let's say the reader has been avoiding sex with him for a while. They'll kiss and stuff, but as soon as he starts pulling her shirt up, she pulls it back down and makes some sort of excuse. This goes on for a while until Soap confronts her about it. She basically then goes off, pointing out all her bodily flaws and how fat and hideous she thinks she is and asks him how he could ever think she was sexy. And all he says is, “How can I NOT?” And he makes love to her and every time she makes a complaint about her body or calls herself ugly, she shushes her, ultimately taking her in front of a mirror and making her look at herself and how sexy she looks taking him. And when they're done, Soap should talk about how she's not fat, she's cute and squishy.
Hi anon, thank you for waiting for this! I’ve been really busy and did not want to put up anything half-arsed because this is a very important ask! Anyone who makes you feel like that sucks, and I’ve been there myself with family commenting on my weight. I had a whole rant lined up but then I realised that Soap already had it in hand, so I will let him takeover from here…
TW: MDNI 18+, bodyshaming and fatphobia, emotion support, p in v
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It was getting harder and harder to make up excuses. Each time you came up with a reason you couldn’t stay over at his place, or a reason your clothes had to stay on when you did agree to sleep in the same bed, literally sleep, his eyes narrowed. You couldn’t keep this up, it was too hard, too unfair on this sweet, loving man. 
Johnny had come into your life like a wrecking ball, all loud mouth and charming personality. You had been swept off your feet by him the moment you’d seen him in the pub, a rare and welcome night out with friends, and he had zeroed in on you. He’d made you feel like you were the only other person in that hot, noisy and packed pub, his eyes locked onto you the moment you spoke to him to say hi.
The last few months had been amazing, he doted on you, texting or calling each day he was away from you back at base. He worshipped you, wanting nothing more than to hear you laugh and be near you. The problem was he was getting very amorous. Kissing and cuddling on the sofa was turning into heavy make out sessions, his hands grazing over your curves and teasing just beneath the hem of your top. 
It made you increasingly uncomfortable, your doubts about how he’d react to seeing under your baggy clothes ate at you. Unfortunately, you’d become so used to being put down about your weight, being told you were undeserving of love and affection, that you had never really let your walls down around him. The rot ran deep, right to your core, whispering to you that he wouldn’t stay and this was only a fling for him until he got bored and left for someone more like him.
Finally, things quickly got heated when he pushed you, trying to get you to tell him why you’d shut down and withdrawn from him completely after another failed make out session where you'd retreated to your room and shut the door in his face. He just burst in, demanding to know what the deal was.
“If I let you see me naked you’ll leave!” you blurt out finally, throat tight with the hot threat of tears. Everything seems to stop once you let the words out, and he stands there staring at you with an unreadable expression as you sit on the end of your bed.
“D’ya think I’m that shallow?” he demands into the thick silence, and the pain in his voice cuts like a knife into your heart. “D’ya really think I’d do such a thing? What have I said or done to give you that impression?” He edges closer as he speaks, until he reaches you and then kneels down in front of you.
“No, I don’t think you’re shallow,” you mumble weakly, trying to avoid his eyes but he cups your face in his large, warm hands and forces you to look into his crystal blue gaze. There’s nothing but affection in those eyes, love and concern for you blinding you like the sun.
“You are beautiful, and I want to be with you just as you are, right here and now,” he says softly, but with an edge of steel beneath the silk of his words. “Anyone who says otherwise and fuck off. If I hear them say it, it’ll be the last thing they ever do. You hear me?”
There’s no way to hide from him, and you nod, letting out a sigh of relief that’s quickly muffled by his lips.
“You’re beautiful just the way you are, have been since the moment I first saw you,” he says as his lips trail across your cheek and chin, down to your neck. “I dinnae care what size or shape you are, hen, I love you for who you are. As long as you are happy and safe, I’m the luckiest man alive to be by your side.”
Suddenly, you realise that having spoken your fear out loud it holds less power over you, and your shoulder relax.
“C’mon, get up,” he says gently, and you stand up, letting him position you in front of your floor length mirror. “Tell me what you don’t like,” he instructs you, standing by your shoulder and locking eyes with you in the reflection.
“Well, the rolls around my middle,” you admit weakly, hands fluttering to cover them automatically. With a smile, he takes your hands away and crouches in front of you, lifting the front of your top to reveal the skin beneath. Stretch marks catch the light but before you can react his lips are pressed to them, the soft warmth making your breath stutter.
“Tell me another one,” he groans, peppering more kisses to your stomach while you think.
“My thighs,” you say before you can think about what he has planned. Warm hands caress your thighs through your leggings, and his breath ghosts through the fabric before kisses land. “Fucking hell…” you groan, “do you really think I’m sexy?”
“How can I not, when your this fuckin’ perfect?” he answers between kisses against you hip. It continues like this, you name a part of your body you’ve been taught to hate, and he worships it. Slowly but surely, you allow him to remove your clothing so he can fully show his adoration for every inch of skin, and you feel yourself come alive beneath his affection. The feel of his body against yours spurs on the growing heat between your thighs, and the moment you beg him to go further, he does.
You lose yourself in his loving embrace, letting him make you feel utterly beautiful as he draws wave after wave of pleasure from you. Letting yourself go, throwing alway all of your doubts and fears, it feels totally natural to feel his skin pressed against yours, sweating making your both glisten as you pant and groan. He grinds into you, spearing his cock deep into you, all the time whispering praises and prayers to your dips and curves. Only when you come undone around him does he stop, the snap and pull of his hips filling the quiet until he follows you over the edge.
“Was that okay, love?” he asks hoarsely, panting heavily as he settles you against his side under the covers. “I don’t want you to regret anything.”
“That was amazing,” you breathe in response, heading still swimming slightly. 
“Good, you deserve nothing but praise. You’re mine, and you’re perfect in all your soft, squishy glory.”
You can't help but chuckle at that, especially as his rough palm rubs appreciatively over your soft hip as he says it.
"So you think I'm cute?"
"Aye, that's it," he chuckles back, placing a kiss on your forehead.
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therealcocoshady · 19 hours
Text
Recovery - Chapter 39
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Synopsis : Simon comes over for dinner and Reader makes a mistake.
Tags : angst
Author's Note : I want to take a second to thank my dear @shady-577 who has the role of Very Important Reader ❤️. I usually run my ideas by her and she kindly reads my stuff ! Thank you so much ❤️
Y/N’s POV
Your friends made you delete the social media apps from your phone, for your own good. In hindsight, you were grateful, because seeing everyone comment and bring back your photos was doing a number on your mental health. Another thing you were grateful for was the presence of everyone who took the time to check in with you. Everyone around you made sure to show their support, even Marshall’s close friends and his family. When they first called or visited, you half expected them to encourage you to talk to him and patch things up but they didn’t. Porter even suggested that you let him bask in it for a couple of days. They were truly disgusted by the track and it made you feel a little better. It didn’t really change anything - what was done was done - but at least you felt valid in your feelings. 
The incident even prompted an unexpected reunion with none other than… Simon. Since the whole thing had gone viral, you weren’t surprised that he heard about it but you did not really expect him to call you. However, he did and he was really sweet. He showed support and even sent you a big bouquet of peonies to cheer you up, as soon as he learned that you were staying at Talia and Jamal’s. In fact, he called you practically everyday and made sure to get your mind off things. Every time you mentioned the incident, he encouraged you « not to think about it » and you had conversations about everything else. Back when you were first dating, you were impressed by the fact that he was very well-read, knowledgeable on a lot of topics. You spent at least an hour on the phone everyday, discussing politics, art, movies… what you enjoyed the most, though, was his humor and the fact that, even after all this time, you had a couple of inside jokes left. Talia saw what a breath of fresh air it was for you, and decided to extend a dinner invitation to him. She thought it would be good for you to socialize with someone you knew, that wasn’t a close friend or acquaintance of Marshall. Jamal wasn’t too keen on the idea, though. He had made his opinion of Simon quite clear in the past, and didn’t care for the way your ex had treated you, especially after the miscarriage. That being said, his fiancée didn’t give him too much of a choice on the matter and he ended up agreeing that, at least, it would be good to see you smile. 
When you brought it up to Marshall over the phone, you could tell he wasn’t too happy. However, he was in no position to tell you who to hang out with, after what he had put you through. 
Simon… Your ex, Simon ?! He asked. 
My friend Simon, you said in an annoyed tone. He’s been cheering me up. 
Ok, he sighed. So… when can I see you ? We need to talk. 
I don’t know, you replied. I think we should talk but… I don’t think I want to see you. 
There’s stuff I need you to see, he said. So that you… I don’t want to say you’ll understand but, yeah, i guess it’ll provide context. 
I guess I’m intrigued, you admitted. 
So… can I come and give it to you ? He asked tentatively. 
I don’t think it’s safe for you to come, you said. If Talia sees you, she will lose her shit. So will Jamal. Can’t you just… e-mail it to me ? 
I guess I can send it over, he said. Y/N, I… I miss you. So much. The cat misses you. Please come home. I need to see you. I need to talk to you, to-
It’ll depend on what you send, I guess, you cut him. I have to go. I have to get ready for dinner. Tell Wiz I love him. 
Sure, he mumbled. 
And hum… thanks for the public apology, I guess. 
You hung up the phone before he could respond. At first, you had been willing to call him but as soon as you heard his tone, his ever so apologetic voice… you were back to feeling angry. He was the one who had betrayed you and you were not about to give in to his own pain. You missed him, though. In fact, every night, you cried yourself to sleep and hated yourself for wishing he was by your side. But you were even angrier at him for what he had done. You knew he would hate the idea of you having dinner with Simon. And perhaps, on some level, it was exactly why you had been so quick to accept, when Talia suggested to have him come over. After all, Simon had been here for you this week. He had been the one to make you smile, laugh and regain a sense of self. He was the one who did what any loving boyfriend should have done. 
Dinner with Simon was fun. So much so that even Jamal laughed at his jokes and engaged in the conversation, in spite of his initial reluctance. No one spoke of the track that mentioned you, or pronounced Marshall’s name. It was just the four of you, talking about anything and everything, just like it had been, years ago. Talia and Jamal were your friends but they had always gotten along with Simon, for the most part, and you all shared some fun memories of your days in university. After dinner, Simon suggested the two of you go for a walk, after learning that you hadn’t really been out since the track leaked. 
I don’t feel like being the laughingstock of the neighborhood, you pointed out. 
It’s 9PM, there’s barely anyone out, he replied. And as long as you care about it, you’re not winning. 
I guess we can go out, you sighed. 
Talia seemed elated that you would finally go out. You went for a walk in some remote part of the neighborhood that had a small trail where people could go on walks. During the day, it was full of people who jogged or families with strollers. But at this time of the night, there was no one in sight. You walked in relative silence when Simon finally spoke. 
I had a lovely evening, he commented. Talia’s cooking is even better than I remember. 
She is quite skilled, you agreed. I had a great time too. Thank you for coming. And thank you again for reaching out. 
You don’t deserve what you’re going through, he said. You deserve the world. Nothing less. 
I doubt it, you sighed. I must have done something awful. If not in this life, a previous one. 
No one deserves what he did to you, Simon insisted. You deserve love, respect, safety… 
That’s what he gave me, you know ? You rambled. When I met him, after you broke up with me… Marshall became my safe space. He made me feel loved, seen, appreciated. He is the one who helped me overcome addiction… I thought I had found a good man.
You deserve to find one, he commented. You know… not a day goes by without me regretting what I’ve done to you. I should have been your safe space. I often wonder where we’d be if I had been there for you. If I had given you what you needed after you lost our baby… 
Married with a kid on the way, perhaps ? You wondered aloud. 
Boy or girl ? He asked. 
A girl, I guess, you shrugged. I always wanted a little girl. And to call her…
… Emma, he recalled. 
You remember ? You asked in surprise. 
Of course I do, Simon said. I remember everything. You are impossible to forget. I’ve been on dates with ladies but none of them compare to you. No one ever will. I know that now. 
Don’t say that, you said softly. 
No, it’s true, he said. No one is as funny as you. No one is as smart, as caring, as loving as you are. That’s why I can’t find anyone else. And that’s why I can’t stand to know he hurt you like this. I’m fine with the idea of you being with another man, but knowing that he is not worthy of you… it’s driving me crazy. I want to beat him up. 
You don’t have to defend my honor, you know ? 
I know, he said. I guess I just… I wish to give you what you need. What you deserve. 
That’s nice, you said shyly. Thank you, Simon. But I don’t think you could. 
What do you need ? He asked as he looked at you. 
I want to feel like myself again, you explained as you looked down. I want to feel loved and seen. But now… I feel dirty and ashamed. 
Simon stopped walking and cupped your cheek, before coaxing your chin so that you’d look him in the eyes. His thumb stroked your cheek and you felt an oddly at peace. He was staring at you with an affectionate gaze. 
You have nothing to be ashamed of, he said. And I’m here if you need anything. 
Thank you, you whispered underneath your breath. 
You stared at each other for a split second and you pressed your lips to his. Half of you hoped he would push you away and the other one hoped he would kiss you back. He did the latter, giving it his all. His lips were soft against yours and, for a split second, you didn’t feel as unworthy, as dirty or as ashamed. You could feel his affection for you, his desire, even. You wrapped your arms around his neck as his tongue found yours, the kiss growing passionate. It had been two years since the two of you last shared a kiss but you felt safe. It was comfortable, familiar. After your mouths parted ways, he grabbed your hand and looked at you. 
I should walk you home, he said. 
I’m sorry, you replied. I-I shouldn’t have… 
I’m happy you kissed me, Y/N, he clarified. But something tells me that what you need is a friend, right now. 
That’s right, you said. I’m mortified, Simon, really… that was wrong. I’m… with Marshall. 
You are, he agreed. For now. 
Yes, you said breathlessly. 
You weren’t too sure of what you wanted. Ten seconds ago, you had wanted to kiss Simon. You wished you could play dumb and say it was an accident but it wasn’t. You had initiated this kiss. You had asked for it. Simon walked you home in relative silence and you were almost mortified. As minutes went by, you absolutely regretted kissing him. Because, regardless of how good and familiar it had felt, it was still cheating. And no matter how mad at Marshall you were, cheating on him broke your heart. Maybe somewhere deep down, you hoped that kissing your ex would erase your feelings for your boyfriend and that you wouldn’t see Marshall as the love of your life anymore. But this didn’t have the desired effect and it only felt more wrong. Once you reached the front door of Talia and Jamal’s house, he kissed your cheek and promised to call you soon on Talia’s phone. It was the only way people could reach you since you’d had the excellent idea of throwing your phone in the staircase after reading one more headline about Marshall’s track. 
When you walked inside the house, your friends were waiting for you in the living room, with a big box sitting on top of the coffee table. 
What’s that ? You asked. 
It was delivered while you were gone, Talia explained. Marshall’s security dropped it off. 
He… Sent my stuff ? You asked anxiously. 
No idea, Jamal said. Might very well be yet another bouquet… As if the whole house wasn’t full of them already… 
You anxiously opened the box. You expected to find your stuff, thinking that maybe he had interpreted your silence as a breakup. But instead, you found a bunch of CDs and stacks of paper, as well as an envelope that read « Open this before the rest. ». Inside, you found a letter, in Marshall’s perfect handwriting : 
« Dear Y/N, 
I sent over the stuff I wanted to show you. I figures that maybe it would be better if you got to go through it alone. In this box, you will find everything I have ever written  about you since we met, as well as some letters I never sent while we were apart. I know it doesn’t change what happened with the track that leaked but I hope this will show you that you are always on my mind, always have been. When I wrote and recorded that silly track, I was sure you were going to leave and what you heard is my me venting on the microphone, letting my mid go to the darkest places, not because I actually think or mean everything but because it’s how I blow off steam. I know it doesn’t make the lyrics any more acceptable, but this is just me, being unable to get you off my mind for one second and trying to deal with it as best as I can. I never planned on you, nor anyone, hearing any of it. I realize this is not a healthy way to deal with my feelings, and I promise I’m never doing this again. Anyway, here is everything : things I wrote, stuff I recorded… I’m here if you want to talk about it. 
I’m sorry I hurt you, more than you’ll ever know. I miss you. (Wiz misses you too). 
Please come home. 
I love you, 
Marshall »
You sighed nervously and handed the letter to Talia, so that she could read it. Once she was done, she handed it to Jamal. After everyone was done reading the letter, you agreed that you should have a look to the content of the box. Your friends offered to give you some space but you were feeling a little overwhelmed. It was painfully obvious that your boyfriend was trying his best to make things bette with you and you had just repaid him by kissing your ex. You spent about three hours looking at every item the box contained. You got to read some letters Marshall had written to you while you were in France, that had your address on the envelope but he never sent them. I here, he was telling you about how much he missed you, how gloomy life was without you and how badly he wanted you to be happy, even if it meant that he would have to stay away from you. He also mentioned a couple of trips he had taken, mainly to California for some work, and how he wished he could have taken you on his travels. People, including himself, had told you how miserable he was while you were apart, but to read what he wrote during that time was gut-wrenching. There were so many writings that it was clear that you had not left his mind for a minute. Some of them even dated back to when you were dating Josh ! You were in tears by the time you were done reading the letters but the worst was yet to come. You listened to the CDs, that were full of tracks you never knew about. They were all about you and you could clearly see the pain in Marshall’s voice. By the time you were done listening, you were bawling like a baby. 
Are you ok, Sis ? Jamal asked. 
I… Guys, I… I don’t know, you hiccuped. 
Come here, babe, Talia said as he took you in her arms. 
You should call him, Jamal said. You guys need to talk. 
You looked at him, taken aback. In the past days, Jamal had not exactly been secretive regarding the disdain he had for Marshall, and you definitely did not expect him to encourage you to patch things up with him. What you read and heard definitely made you want to see him and talk to him face to face, but you knowing what you had done earlier in the night made you sick. You couldn’t face him and tell him you had cheated on him. Not when you knew he had spent months writing the most gut-wrenching, heart-breaking things about his love for you, how being without you was a fate worse than death. 
I don’t know, you said in a croaky voice. 
Baby, I know we’re still mad at him, Talia said. But… You’ve heard these songs, right ? You’ve read these letters… Shit, I’m crying too ! 
She’s right, Jamal said. He loves you. He’s an obsessive fucking moron but… It’s Em. And I know you love him. 
I thought you were mad at him, you pointed out. 
I am, he said. But he sent me an email to apologize, as well as a check. He’s stupid but he’s trying to make things right. You have to give him a little credit, Sis. And I know that you guys have been through a lot and I’m sure you can work things out. 
His last sentence has you burst in tears. After reading and listening to everything, you wanted nothing more than to « work things out », but you were afraid that you had ruined everything. How ironic. He was the one whose actions had led to you leaving the house but he would be the one breaking up with you because you were too dumb. Tears were streaming down your cheeks and you were crying so much that it made it difficult to breathe. It wasn’t just guilt or sadness, it was panic, as you realized you would have to tell Marshall what happened with Simon.
Baby, what’s wrong ? Talia asked as she stroked your back. 
I… I fucked up, guys, you said. 
What ? No ! Jamal said. What he did with that track sucked, you had every reason to leave for a few days ! 
No, it’s not that, you hiccuped. I-I… I kissed Simon… 
NO YOU DIDN’T ?! Talia almost screamed. 
You were virtually unable to stop crying, to the point where you were unable to form a coherent sentence and ended up hyperventilating. It felt like you had the weight of the world on top of you. Talia took you in her arms and tried to get you to calm down but you were having a full blown panic attack. You heard her talk to Jamal but, even though you could hear the words, they weren’t making much sense. You were trying to talk but only French words would come out of your mouth. 
Il va me quitter, you cried. Je l’ai trahi… Oh mon Dieu. J’ai trahi Marshall ! 
What…? Jamal asked confused. 
She’s having a meltdown, Talia sighed. We can’t leave her like this, babe ! 
What do we do, then ? 
Let’s call Em, she directed. 
Non ! You pleaded. Please… Non. 
Talia took your hands in hers and tried to reason with you. In her opinion, it was better for you to tell Marshall and have an actual conversation with him, about both the track and you kissing Josh. 
I fucked up, you cried. Oh my God. I fucked up. 
Look, Sis, Jamal said sheepishly. Cheating sucks, and I’m not going to say Em deserved it. But… You know. You probably wouldn’t have done it if things had bee alright in your relationship. 
True, your best friend chimed in. You were feeling betrayed and vulnerable. 
He’s going to kill me, you sighed. 
He’s not, Jamal said. Look, I already texted him. He should be here in about 20 minutes. We’ll let you guys talk but we’ll be right next door, in the kitchen, alright ? No matter how mad he is, I swear, you’ll be alright. 
But… I’ll have to move, I-
If he kicks you out, you’ll just move back in with us, babe, Talia said reassuringly. We got you. Always. 
You thanked them and tried to pace yourself by taking deep breaths. It was the middle of the night but it didn’t seem to matter to anyone. Twenty minutes later, Marshall was here. As soon as he spotted you, curled on the living room couch, reading one of his letters, he rushed to your side. 
Y/N, he said. 
Hi, you said as you tried to avoid his gaze. 
Have you… Been crying ? He asked as he took a look at your face ? 
You nodded sheepishly. Your stomach was in knots and you felt as if you were about to throw up. He was inches away from you, looking at you intently. You nervously glanced at him and it was safe to say that he looked absolutely terrible. From the looks of it, he had been missing on a lot of sleep. His face looked gaunt and had worry all over it. 
Is it the letters ? He asked. God, I didn’t mean to make you cry… I-I…
They’re beautiful, you said in a creaky voice. A lot to take in. But beautiful. 
And I meant every word, he assured you. These letters, these songs… that’s how I really feel about you. How I have always felt about you. Not that stupid leaked track. 
Yeah ? You asked. 
Swear to God, he said. That’s just… My mind goes to this dark place, sometimes, you know ? When I’m sad, when I’m hurt… I know it’s creepy as fuck, and I know it’s not… It’s not ok. I know it. But I swear, this is just fiction. No different than a book or some drawings, you know ? But it has nothing to do with you. It’s my feelings, my dark thoughts… None of it should matter. 
But you name-dropped me, you pointed out.
I shouldn’t have, he said. That was fucking wrong of me. I thought no one would ever hear it. It’s just… that’s the only way I know how to get things off my chest, you know ? 
You nodded. It hurt to be on the receiving end of it and to be the one who inspired such deranged lyrics but you could sort of see where he was coming from. After all, he had always resorted to music as a coping mechanism. He sat on the couch next to you and took your hand in his. The contact between you - the first in a week - almost made you shiver. He seemed to notice it and immediately placed his jacket on your shoulders. 
I know it sounds easy to say but… I recorded that before I agreed to do therapy, you know ? He said tentatively. I went and told my therapist about it the other day, and… I’m going to do better, Y/N. I promise. I know I’ve hurt you, but I need you to know that I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. And I want us to get through this. I’ll book more therapy sessions, I’ll work on myself, we can do couples therapy if you want… I’ll do anything for us. 
Marshall, I-, you began. 
Y/N… You’re the love of my life, he continued. You make me want to improve myself, put in some actual work so that we can have a future together. There’s nothing I want more than this. I need you with me. I know we can get through this. I just know it. Because it’s us. 
You were overwhelmed. You had told him he was the love of your life several times before but it was the first time he said it back. Tears started rolling on your cheeks and he pulled you to his chest. 
I’ll never hurt you like this again, he said. I love you, and if you still love me, we can get through anything. 
Marshall, I need to tell you something…, you started nervously. 
Do you love me ? He asked as he ignored your sentence. 
I do, you replied. Of course I do, but-
No but, he said. I swear, I’ll do anything you want, honey. I have already gotten rid of the studio equipment but if there’s anything I can do, anything you want… I’ll do it. Just come home, and we work things through, ok ? 
I need to tell you something first, you said nervously. 
Ok, he said as he still held your hand. Anything, baby. 
It’s… It’s about Simon, you started with tears in your eyes. 
What about him ? He asked. It’s not like you cheated, right ? 
You knew he was resorting to humor to try and diffuse tension but you immediately started crying, giving everything away. You immediately saw the color drain from Marshall’s face, his eyes instantly turning dark. 
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queen--kenobi · 1 day
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Hi, I'm the anon who said about table sex. I made some criticism which you took the wrong way, your friends butted in and said nasty stuff to me, and I said nasty stuff back. It just escalated out of control.
If you were more humble then maybe you would see I was merely offering feedback. I did point out the good qualities of your fic.
Someone then took my anon identity and roleplayed as me on someone's blog saying I rode my ex on my parents coffee table. It's actually not me. The table incident I spoke about involved my husband and the dining table. Without going into detail, it was awkward, uncomfortable and impossible. People who say otherwise are lying. Unless you try it then you don't know. RL is not like fanfic.
I am feeling very lonely and low just now, enough to contemplate what the point of existence. Then I see your ridiculous table sex challenge and I am crying. You just keep making a fool out of me. You're obviously not a popular blog so you're now milking your five seconds of fame at my expense just to get attention. This is even worse when people hated on me for saying blood and cheese needed to happen and they deserved it. And I stand by that. Daemon did what he had to do.
I am still really upset not that you care. I felt guilty at upsetting you but not now. You're rude arrogant and vain. Your friends reblog your fic with out reading. That's why no comment nearly or reviews. Your story sounds like a turtle tried to write it and then gave up. You probably use AI. Your a bad writer and an even worse person. Your beta should be locked up in English jail they are the worst betas I have ever seen. You're a huge turd and I absolutely despise you. Never speak to me again Percy
Okay so, I had to take a minute to sit down and think about my response. This is actually going to be my last response because we're at the point where nothing productive is going to come of this
I did acknowledge your criticism in the first anon you sent to me. Is that fic perfect? No. As I said, I'm probably going to rework that fic. But a lot of your points were just... Not valid? One of them was but the rest were obviously to try and hurt my feelings
And you truly expect me to believe someone just took your anon identity? Like sure, yeah, they could have. But I doubt it. It sounds like a cop out
Also, love how you try to act like you're the victim but then add that last paragraph. Bestie, it's giving "I didn't really mean what I said"
And yk what? It's not arrogant and vain if I can back it up. Tbh if you genuinely think I'm that way you have not been paying attention and/or haven't ever actually bothered to talk to me
Also you're the one that came back! If you don't want to speak to me, quit coming into my house!
But
To get serious for a minute. You do not know me, and I do not know you. To put your mental health on a stranger is irresponsible, especially when you make it sound like you're going to hurt yourself. I am not responsible for what you do. You are responsible for your own actions, not me. If you are truly suicidal or wanting to hurt yourself, please. Get off the internet and find a professional to talk to. I'm not saying that to be funny. I am saying that as genuine life advice
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