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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 1 year

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Words: 4,942 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Female!Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: S10, The Reapers Warnings: language, violence, gore, angst A/N: This is Part 4 of a series! Find all the parts on my pinned post, the Master List Summary: Daryl helps Y/N and DJ get settled in Alexandria.

Part 3

You walked beside Daryl, a teary smile on your face as you looked ahead at Judith and RJ running and playing with Dog. “It seems impossible that this little girl is the same chubby baby I fed pureed carrots to,” you laughed. “And RJ... They’re beautiful, Daryl.”

“Yeah. They are.” The softness on Daryl’s face was threatening to melt you into a puddle. His eyes turned to DJ next, and that softness remained.

You met his blue eyes again and your lips were drawn down in a soft pout. Tears brimmed in your eyes. “I’m so sorry,” you said. “About Rick. And now Michonne’s gone off… Maggie told me.”

“Yeah,” Daryl drawled, ducking his head and fighting the tidal wave of anxiety and grief and hopelessness that always crested in his chest when he thought of his lost brother. “‘M sorry too. Mostly for them,” he said, nudging his head toward the kids again. “But it’s been hard on everybody…”

“Including you, I’m sure.” Tears burned in your eyes again and you did your best to blink them away. Rick and Michonne were family, and you had hoped to reunite with them again too as soon as you’d found Maggie. The news about much of your old family had been hard to take, especially after losing everyone else at your community so recently. But you knew how deep and unhealing that wound must be for Daryl, losing a true brother…

Daryl hummed a response but you let the topic drop for now.

Alexandria was certainly left worse for wear since the Whisperers had briefly occupied it with their horde. Daryl cast a sideways glance at you as if worried about your reaction to the destruction and mess you were now walking through.

“Ain’t usually like this… ya just arrived at the end of a full-on war,” he said.

Far from seeing concern or judgement on your face, Daryl noted that you seemed to be seeing it with eyes that picked out the potential. He felt another swell of warmth for you. “If it’s home for you, then it’ll be home for us too,” you said. “And I’ll be more than happy to help however I can with the rebuilding.”

Home. It was true that Alexandria was home, and he would die to defend it and the people in it, but there was another home that he’d lost a long time ago, and it was now walking beside him… Then, he suddenly remembered what Carol had said to him at the wall. “Please tell me you aren’t going to stick them in some random empty apartment or house.” His feet must have faltered because you turned and glanced over at him immediately.

“Everything okay?”

“Uhh—yeah… I just—” he chewed anxiously on his bottom lip for a moment, and you nearly smiled. It was the same nervous habit he’d always had. “I was thinkin’, if you and DJ wanted to… I mean, ya could stay at my place. I’ve got a spare bedroom—s’where Jude and RJ usually sleep when I’ve got ‘em, but that ain’t no big deal. I can make ‘em up bedrolls on the floor in my room if they’re stayin’ or—” he was rambling nervously, “—if ya ain’t comfortable with that, I mean, stayin’ at my place, we’ve got plenty of other apartments and houses. We could set ya up somewhere else—I just thought, with DJ, might be easier—and maybe would be, I dunno, would be—"

“Daryl—” You stopped him with a hand gentle on his arm. “Of course we’d love to stay with you, if you’re okay with the extra trouble.”

He gulped. The last fucking thing he wanted now was to be parted from you and DJ, even if it was just by half a block. “Ain’t no extra trouble,” he drawled quietly, slightly transfixed from the touch of your hand on his arm.

You laughed. “You say that now… but you may have forgotten over the last decade, I can be a handful,” you joked. “And DJ? He takes after his dad in some ways.”

Daryl let out an amused exhale and shook his head. “Poor kid,” he joked, but you shot him a look.

“Lucky kid,” you corrected him. God, he’d missed that. You had always been so affirming to him. You had unwavering confidence in him and you told him and showed him every damn day. His internal monologue was often so dark, especially lately with things all seeming to go wrong. But you had always shown a light on him, always told him so earnestly that he was good and loved even when he didn’t believe it or didn’t feel he deserved it himself. He felt a swell of gratitude and emotion and fought against what felt like a huge bubble in his chest that was getting ready to burst. Your voice interrupted him.

“So. Which way is home?” You were looking at him expectantly.

“Uhh, this way,” he murmured, tilting his head toward the next street over. He let out a loud whistle and Dog turned and came rushing back. “Hey—Jude, RJ. Let’s go! We’re gonna help Y/N and DJ get settled, alright?”

“Uncle Daryl?” RJ said when he had trotted over, looking up with shining brown eyes.

“Yeah, bud?”

“I’m hungry,” he said.

Daryl ruffled a hand through his own hair a little anxiously. “Yeah… yeah, we’ll have to see ‘bout that in a bit. Let’s head home first and then I’ll figure that out, okay?”

You and Daryl exchanged a knowing glance. Keeping growing kids nourished was a constant worry.

“Mom?” DJ asked you softly. You looked down at him with a questioning look. He dug into his small bag and pulled out an apple. It was slightly bruised on one side, but shone bright red in the sun and seemed just as crisp as when you’d picked it for him a few days back. “Can I?” he asked. Your heart swelled and you nodded as you ran your fingers down one of the wavy strands of his brown hair.

“Of course. That’s a very kind thing to do,” you said proudly.

DJ trotted a few paces to catch up to RJ and then nudged him gently with his elbow, holding out the apple to him. RJ took it excitedly and thanked him with a broad smile. He took a huge bite and then offered it to Judith, who also happily shared it. Pretty soon the three of them were sharing it like old pals.

Daryl was smiling as he watched the exchanged. “That’s some kid ya’ve got,” he said softly.

“You mean that we’ve got,” you corrected him. “He’s your son, Daryl.”

Daryl gulped and looked down at you, his eyes still a little wide with disbelief. We. You’d said we. He wanted so desperately to read into that and allow his mind to run on with all his foolish hopes… He nudged his nose up in a shy nod and chewed on his bottom lip a moment. A son. He had a son.

The kids ran ahead, chasing after Dog and throwing a stick for him time and time again, until finally Daryl cleared his throat and nodded toward the nearest condo on the end of a small row. “This is me,” he said. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck nervously. “Yer place now too, if ya think it’ll work okay. And ya don’t mind a bit’a dog hair.” It was as if he needed to give you every opportunity to change your mind.

“DJ and I have been sleeping wherever I could find the smallest bit of shelter or safety for quite a while now. We moved every day. This is going to be a huge change for the better. Thank you.” You studied his expression again. “And I don’t mind the dog hair,” you laughed. Dog seemed to have heard you because he came and slipped through the space between your legs, stopping and leaning to one side, rubbing his body against your leg, looking up at you. You laughed and bent to give him neck scratches and he was soon licking your face.

“He likes ya,” Daryl said. There was a smile in his voice. He took that moment and allowed himself to take in the way the afternoon light was illuminating the hues in your eyes as you glanced back up at him and the shine in your hair. He felt like he’d been transported to some alternate dimension—he was so used to struggling to live every day without you and suddenly… here you were. Dog finally darted to the garage door, prancing anxiously on his front paws, and Daryl collected himself enough to go over and push it up. RJ and Judith raced in after Dog, but DJ waited back.

Your eyes went immediately to the bike parked there. “Oh my God,” you said, grinning. The light in your eyes now seemed to be sparking on his behalf as you strode over to it. You shot him a brilliant look and Daryl’s heart skipped a beat and then sped up. “This is amazing. Did you build this?” you asked, touching it here and there.

Daryl brushed a hand back through his hair and shrugged. “Yeah. Aaron, you’ll meet Aaron, he had been collectin’ parts for years before he brought our group in. He didn’t really know what to do with them. First damn thing I did after I was sure Alexandria was gonna be real, safe, was put ‘em to good use.”

DJ was looking at the bike with eager interest and excitement. “You built it? From scrap?” he asked again.

Daryl nudged his nose up in a nod. “Yep.”

“Can I have a ride?” he asked excitedly.

Daryl smiled. “Yeah. ‘Course. Uhh—as long as that’s okay with yer mom,” Daryl said, glancing your direction, resting a hand on the handlebar.

“Nobody safer to ride with,” you said, nodding. “As long as you wear a helmet, DJ. But not today. Maybe tomorrow, if the weather is good, alright?” DJ seemed satisfied with that and ran ahead into the condo after Judith and RJ. You glanced over at Daryl again and his eyes were already on you. He was wringing his hands a little anxiously. “Well, when do I get a ride from you again? It’s been a while. Maybe tonight?” Daryl’s mouth dropped slightly open and you laughed nervously when you realized the obvious innuendo. You felt your cheeks flushing. “The bike!” you said in a hurry. “I meant on—” you pressed a hand up to your face and ducked his gaze. Daryl was gulping nervously. “Jesus—I meant on the—” You sighed and laughed again, quite sure that your face was still bright red.

Daryl rubbed a hand over the back of his neck awkwardly, but he was also feeling a heat in his chest like you’d just struck flint and steel to tinder and he too let out a small, awkward laugh. Not to mention that intimate scenes he held dearly deep in his mind were suddenly rushing into the forefront like they’d been called. He could still feel the shape of your hip under his hand like it was just yesterday, or the softness of you as his fingertips dimpled into your skin… He could see the water cascading down your body as he pressed you back against the wall of the shower. He could hear your hurried breathing, the breathy way you used to say his name… The noises of pleasure he’d been able to pull from you. When he couldn’t sleep or when things were just too dark, he’d let his mind wander over those memories, but he had to limit himself. Otherwise, he would have run the risk of living entirely there in that daydream, forgetting the now, and then how would he have kept going, knowing it may be lost forever? And then suddenly you were made real in front of him again. Here. You were right here. Shit. Get it together, man. He refocused his attention on the expectant look on your face. “Uhh—lemme show ya inside,” he drawled.

You bit your bottom lip and followed him in. The kids were all piled on the couch, Dog in front of them, and your heart lifted to see DJ interacting with Jude and RJ so easily. There must have been a smile on your face because Daryl was looking at you with the corners of his eyes crinkled in one too.

“It’s been a long time since he’s been able to be around any other kids, before Hershel, I mean,” you said. The smile faded again and Daryl thought you looked suddenly veiled in sadness briefly.

“C’mon,” he said, tilting his head toward the small hallway. “Bathroom in there,” he said, passing the small room on the right. “Here’s the spare room,” he said. Out of habit he tried to flick on the light and then remembered that the Whisperers had trashed the solar panels and he flicked it back off. “Uhh… sorry. No power back up yet.”

“Haven’t had power in years,” you said. “Won’t even miss it.”

Daryl ruffled his fingers back through his hair again. “We’ll get it back up,” he said with certainty. “‘Til then I got plenty of candles and lanterns and stuff. Remind me before it gets dark. My room is just—” he pointed down the hall to the next door, “right there.”

You leaned on the doorframe next to him and looked in at the little room. A bed. A real bed. “Thanks for this.”

He ducked his head and nodded, shifting nervously beside you. “Yeah. S’nothin’. Dun need to thank me.”

There was a loud squeal from one of the kids and you both moved back to the main room. Dog had jumped on the couch with the three of them and was now laying fully across their laps. You hadn’t seen such a grin on DJ’s face in what felt like a lifetime. You glanced around the room, taking in the space and what Daryl had done to make it his. There were various antlers and pelts around, and the coffee table had a few old books on it, the top one about piracy. “Hmm,” you hummed.

“What?” he asked.

“Nice place you have here. It’s very Daryl,” you said, a small smile curving your lips. “It suits you. Though maybe a cabin in the woods would still suit you better.”

Daryl’s stomach suddenly clenched. A cabin in the woods. Fuck. He had to tell you. He had to figure out how the fuck to tell you…

“What do you think?” you asked him, and Daryl suddenly realized you must have been talking to him.

“Sorry, what?”

“Think the kids would be okay here on their own for a while so we can go try and find some food for everyone?”

He nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, and we can ask Rosita and Gabe to look in on ‘em.”

Your face brightened. “Please, let’s go see Rosita.”

Daryl nodded. “Yeah, course. And—Gabriel ain’t the same anymore,” Daryl said. “He’s turned out to be real good to have around.”

You shook your head and let out a laugh of disbelief. “You remember what I said when he finally got down off that rock?”

Daryl snorted out a laugh and nodded. “Yeah. Ya asked if we could put him back.” You laughed again more earnestly.

“And—him and Rosita? Really? I mean, Maggie told me but it’s still hard to wrap my brain around…”

Daryl laughed again, fiddling anxiously with a rock on the side table. “I think that took all of us by surprise at first,” Daryl drawled. “But—” he shrugged. “They do seem to be doin’ good together. C’mon. Let’s get goin’ while we still got daylight.” He stepped farther into the room and managed to grab the kids’ attention. “Hey—Jude. Yer the oldest, so yer in charge, alrigh’? We’re just gonna go see about some dinner, okay? If we ain’t back when it’s startin’ to get dark, ya go to Aunt Rosita’s or find Uncle Jerry and Aunt Nabila at their place, okay? And keep away from that part of the wall tha’s down. I mean it. Ya can show DJ around, but I don’t want ya over there.”

Jude nodded and agreed. “Okay.”

“Dog, get down,” Daryl said, and the Malinois jumped back onto the rug. Daryl hugged Jude and ruffled RJ’s hair. Then he held a fist out to DJ, who eagerly bumped it with his own and grinned. Daryl knelt down so he was at their eye level again. “We’ll be back just as soon as we can, alrigh’? Ya’ll be good and stay safe. Jude, ya got yer sword? Good. You and DJ, watch out for RJ.”

Your heart felt like it grew three sizes just watching him reassuring the kids and making sure that everyone was alright for you both to leave. “We’ll try not to be too long,” you said, and you went and grabbed each of them in a hug, leaving a kiss on the top of DJ’s head too. “Keep your bow with you,” you told him. “Good. See you soon, hopefully with some dinner.”

The reunion with Rosita was emotional, and you cooed over baby Coco with her and lamented the loss of Siddiq when she told you what had happened in brief. By the time you were heading back to Daryl’s to grab his bike and head out, you agreed that Gabriel was an entirely different person than he had been when you’d known him. “Gotta admit… the eye and still wearing the stuffy outfit—it’s definitely a look,” you said, walking back beside Daryl.

He let out a small laugh and glanced over at you. “Like I said, he ain’t the same.” He strapped his crossbow onto the bike and slung his leg over, standing up so you could slip on behind him. Nervous flutters were already rising before you even climbed on, and when your hands finally settled lightly on his sides, he felt like his body temp rose a hundred degrees. He did his best not to stiffen with nerves and settled down on the seat. “Ain’t sure what we’ll find out there,” he said. “Those assholes brought a horde through ‘round here. Scared off most of the game.”

Your arms looped around him more fully and he gulped again. “Fish probably didn’t run away. Neither did the plants and fungi. We’ll find something,” you said ardently. “We always find something.”

Daryl started his bike and, for a brief moment, thought he felt your cheek press to the back of his shoulder. “Ya ready?”

“Hell yeah!” you yelled over the engine, and he could hear the smile in your voice.

_ _ _ _ _ _

“Having any luck?” you asked Daryl as you approached from out of the woods nearby again, a canvas bag that now seemed rather full clutched in your hand.

“Mhm… Carp. Gonna taste like mud,” he said, nodding to the huge fish lying on the grass beside him. “But they’re definitely better than nothin’. You?”

“Yeah. Found a good haul of mushrooms—chantarelles, oyster mushrooms, chicken of the woods. And a bunch of edible plants. Ramps?” you held up a clump of something from your bag.

“Uhhh—am I s’posed to know what the hell yer talkin’ about?”

You laughed heartily and Daryl’s heart skipped a beat, as it seemed to do damn near every time you did anything. “Ramps!” you said again. “They’re a wild onion. Taste kind of like a cross between garlic and scallions.”

“Hmm,” Daryl nod, turning his attention back to the river and shooting an arrow into the now writhing form of a dark fish. “Learn somethin’ new ev’ry day. I think I always just called them wild onions. No need to be fancy about it,” he teased you, grabbing his arrow and the impaled fish with it.

You gave him a look and then turned your eyes back to the pile of large fish on the bank. “I think we have enough here for quite a bit soup. We’ll be able to feed some hungry kids tonight.”

Daryl retrieved his arrow and grabbed a bag for the fish from his pack. “Tha’s what it’s all about,” he said.

You spun around as you heard a twig snap somewhere behind you in the trees. Daryl stood and grabbed his bow again, immediately on edge, and paced several steps forward in the soft grass until he was slightly in front of you. It was a protective instinct he’d always had… even now it came back like old muscle memory.

The snap of the dry wood was soon followed by a growing growl sound and the two of you both breathed sighs of relief. “Goddamn walker. Tha’s all,” he drawled.

“Yeah,” you agreed, though the worry didn’t leave your face completely. Daryl was again sharply aware that you’d been through some very serious shit very recently, shit he didn’t yet know the full extent of. “We should get back. It’s going to start getting dark soon.”

“Yeah. I was just thinkin’ the same thing.” Daryl unsheathed his knife and advanced on the scrawny and emaciated looking rotter ambling toward the two of you. He lunged with a perfectly placed strike and sunk his blade into its head. It crumpled to the leaf litter and laid still.

The two of you strode back toward his bike, side by side, and you glanced over at him when you felt his eyes on you. “Hmm?” you prompted him, adjusting your hold on the foraging bag stuffed full of ingredients over your shoulder.

He shrugged and looked back down toward where he was placing his boots. “Will ya tell me—uhh… ‘bout when he was born? I mean—where were ya and—guess I just wanna know ‘bout it all,” he said.

Your expression was soft as you looked back at him and Daryl relaxed some. “Yeah, of course. Daryl, you can ask me anything you want to about DJ. Really about anything. Ask me anything about anything,” you laughed. “I’ll do my best to answer. Oh—and remind me to show you the book when the kids are in bed tonight.”

“The book?”

You nodded. “Yeah. The book.”

He nodded, intrigued. “Alrigh’.”

You sighed, looking ahead and taking in the way the light was filtering through the leaves still clinging to the craggy oak branches. “When DJ was born, I was still in Georgia. You remember how I said people just were finding me or I was finding them?” Daryl nodded. “I had been trying to scavenge supplies from this huge department store, get ready for the baby and find some more vitamins and stuff. I thought there was a good chance there were supplies left inside because the parking area had been some kind of military checkpoint or something and the whole thing had these huge fences chain link fences topped with razor wire. I hadn’t seen any walkers in there… I found some fence cutters and made a way inside. Pried a door open and got into the building. I was right. There were supplies in there,” you laughed dryly. “But the reason I hadn’t seen any walkers was because there were people living inside.”

Daryl’s brow furrowed heavily.

“I was lucky—very lucky. They turned out to be good people, just a small group of survivors. A found family. They saw, immediately of course, that I was pregnant and one of them happened to be a midwife. They were all with me when I went into labor. We had left the store by then. There were getting to be too many dead in the suburbs and we’d headed away from the populated areas. We took a Jeep and a truck full of supplies and found this farmhouse and set up there for the winter. It reminded a little of Hershel’s farm. We had a decent stock of supplies and I had everything I needed for the baby but I was still terrified of course… especially after what happened to Lori. But everything went smoothly and after an excruciating 14 hours of labor, I delivered a healthy baby boy and named him Daryl as soon as I saw him.” Tears brimmed in your eyes as you looked over at him again. Your voice was soft and breathy when you spoke again and you’d had to fight to get the words out. “I wish you were there,” you said. “I wished that more than anything at the time and still. He was just this tiny little thing, all wiry arms and legs.” You sniffled and tried to pull yourself back together. “For a birth in the apocalypse, I was very lucky,” you said with a dry laugh.

You walked in silence for a while, each of you sinking into your own thoughts, but Daryl finally broke it again. “Those people—were any of ‘em still with ya when—were any of them with ya when yer community was attacked?”

The weight of it settled back over you and you nodded. “Yeah. Two of them were.” The only sound was the soft noise of the damp earth and leaf litter beneath your boots.

“‘M sorry,” Daryl drawled. “We’ve all lost a lotta people over the years, but I ain’t never lost everybody all at once like ya have. Not really. I mean, it felt that way when the prison fell, but I knew there were more of us out there. I knew you were out there, somehow.”

The muscle in your jaw tensed and you nodded, looking up again at the last bit of afternoon light waning against the tops of the trees. In a moment, the tension on your face seemed to pass and you glanced back over at him. “We’ve all lost people. Who’s to say what’s better or worse?”

On the ride back to Alexandria, Daryl swore you held on even more tightly to him than you had on the way out, and he knew he wasn’t imagining that you were leaning into him.

_ _ _ _ _ _

The fish and foraged ingredients had made a huge pot of soup, enough to feed all the kids in Alexandria and a good many adults too. Everyone’s mood was jovial with a full stomach as you sat around the little table with Daryl and the kids. It wasn’t lost on you that DJ and Daryl ate exactly the same; ravenously, unabashedly, and frequently using their sleeves as napkins. It had you smiling through most of the meal. Daryl had caught you staring at him once.

“What?” he prompted you, hurriedly wiping a sleeve across his mouth as if he thought he had food stuck there.

You smiled and shook your head. “Nothing.”

You’d tried to convince Carol to come for dinner but she’d insisted she didn’t want to intrude on your first night back. She gladly accepted some of the soup though, and you’d made her promise to come find you the next day. Now, you and Daryl were telling Judith, RJ, and DJ old stories and regularly cracking them up into fits of giggles. Dog was happily chewing a scavenged deer bone on the rug.

“Hey, what ‘bout that time,” Daryl had to pause and let out a gruff laugh, pointing at you. “‘Member, ya flipped the bird at that squatter? And then—”

“Alright!” you said standing up hurriedly, and cutting him off on purpose. “I think they can hear the rest of that story when they’re all older! Kids, help me clear the table please,” you said, grabbing Daryl’s plate and shooting him a look. His blue eyes were smiling and they followed you all the way into the kitchen as he leaned back in his chair.

Judith and RJ wanted to stay the night since they hadn’t seen their Uncle Daryl in so long (and you were definitely an added bonus) so you helped him set up bed rolls for them on the floor in his room before tucking DJ in in your own bed down the hall. You stroked his hair away from his face and kissed his forehead.

“Mom,” he started, yawning and sinking more deeply into his pillow.

“Mhm?”

“I think I really like this place. And… it’s nice to be around other kids again. This feels like a family,” he said and you nodded in agreement, smiling serenely.

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“So… can we stay?” he asked.

“What do I always say?”

“‘We can stay as long as we can stay’,” he recited.

“Right. But, if it makes you feel better, I think and I hope that will be a long time.”

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akari-hope · 3 years

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lgbtq+ anime for pride month

decided to make this for anyone looking for new recommendations, or anyone who’s wanted to get into anime but doesn’t know where to start! all recs will include a summary, genres, applicable representation, and how accessible it is to people brand new to anime, as well as any major content warnings.

(a quick disclaimer for those new to anime - some series on here will NOT have explicit rep, but rather be heavily coded or have implied queer themes. however, these are included generally because the implication is strong enough to treat it as text, or because the series has been generally accepted as queer. i’ll be sure to clarify whether something is canon or coded in each entry.)

ouran high school host club (comedy, romance) summary: haruhi fujioka is an honor student on scholarship at the prestigious ouran academy, who’s only looking for a quiet place to study when he runs into the notorious host club. in his frantic attempt to leave, he accidentally breaks a vase valued at 8 million yen. club leader tamaki suou has an idea for how he can pay them back - working for the host club. rep: crossdressing/drag are staples of this series, nothing explicitly stated but there are definite themes of gender identity exploration, and the show doesn’t shy away from homosexual themes or ideas accessibility: newcomer friendly! the english dub of this series is notably good. content warnings: some 2000s-era language in regards to gay/trans people that may be seen as offensive today, one scene that implies intent of sexual assault (while there is no actual assault and it is quickly played off, it may still be upsetting to some viewers)

yuri!!! on ice (sports) summary: yuri katsuki is a professional figure skater, recovering from a crushing defeat at the grand prix final. he returns to his family home to debate what he plans to do for next season. he goes to the local ice rink to clear his mind, and shows his old friend there something he’s been practicing - his idol victor nikiforov’s latest world-winning routine. unbeknownst to yuri, he’s being filmed. the video goes viral, and before he knows it victor is standing right in front of him, offering to be his coach. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: a few scenes that briefly display anxiety/panic attack-like symptoms

given (drama, romance) summary: one day on his way to his favorite napping spot in school, ritsuka uenoyama finds a boy, mafuyu satou, dozing in his spot, clutching onto a guitar with rusted, broken strings. uenoyama wakes him up, berating him for not taking better care of his instrument. mafuyu, noticing his knowledge of the instrument, begs uenoyama to repair it and teach him to play. uenoyama initially refuses, but mafuyu is persistent, even following uenoyama to band practice. it’s not until uenoyama hears mafuyu sing that he changes his tune, offering lessons if he joins the band as their singer. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: discussions of grief and loss additional note: given also has a movie sequel, which has a scene involving sexual assault.

sweet blue flowers / aoi hana (romance, slice of life) summary: fumi manjoume and akira okudaira were best friends in elementary school, until fumi moved away. now in high school, fumi is back and attending the same school as akira once again. their relationship isn’t the same now, though. the two must navigate the new trials of high school while trying to revive their waning friendship. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly!

bloom into you / yagate kimi ni naru (drama, romance) summary: yuu koito has always dreamed of the sort of soft, heart-fluttering love in shoujo manga. when a boy finally confesses to her though she feels...empty. she begins to wonder if she only understands love conceptually, but cannot feel it. yuu is still mulling over how to respond to her suitor when she witnesses the student council president, touko nanami, turn down a love confession of her own. she decides to approach touko for advice, but then the unexepected happens - touko confesses to yuu. rep: canon wlw romance accessibility: newcomer friendly! content warnings: some mild sexual content, depictions of homophobia

stars align / hoshiai no sora (drama) summary: toma shinjou is desperate to recruit new members to the boys’ soft tennis club, which is on the verge of being disbanded due to poor performance. maki katsuragi, the new transfer student, immediately catches his interest due to his quick reflexes. toma persuades maki to join, and maki’s skill quickly becomes driving momentum for the entire team. through their shared sport, the boys of the soft tennis club explore their own capabilities and hardships as they navigate life. rep: canon nonbinary character, discussions of gender identity and sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: discussions and depictions of abuse, bullying, and violence

mahou shoujo madoka magica (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: madoka kaname and sayaka miki are good friends, regular middle school girls with regular lives. one day, the mysterious homura akemi transfers into their class, and strange happenings begin occuring. they meet a strange cat-like creature known as kyuubey, injured and on the run from homura. as thanks for saving its life, kyuubey offers them a reward - he’ll grant any wish they desire, and in return they’ll become magical girls with the power to help others. homura, despite being a magical girl herself, discourages them, saying everything is not as it seems. rep: sapphic themes and implied romantic feelings accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, unreality, grief additional note: madoka magica has 3 movie sequels, with a 4th on the way. while the first two are merely recaps of the series, the 3rd, rebellion, is a continuation of the story.

no. 6 (sci-fi, drama) summary: the world has been ravaged by war - the last safe haven of mankind lies in six walled-off city-states. shion is an elite resident of one such city-state, no. 6, given priority housing and treatment due to his exceptional abilities. one night, a fugitive by the name of nezumi sneaks into shion’s room, and threatens to kill him. despite knowing he’s a fugitive, shion instead tends to his wounds and shelters him for the night. when his transgression is discovered by the authorities, shion and his mother lose their elite status, and are relocated. now just a regular citizen, shion begins to discover a new side to the city he’s called home. years after their first meeting, he reunites with nezumi once more - their meeting putting in motion a series of events that will unveil the secrets of no. 6. rep: canon mlm romance, trans/nonbinary coded character accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, body horror, insects (bees)

seraph of the end / owari no seraph (supernatural, action) summary: a virus ravages the human race, infecting and killing everyone above the age of 13. their food source now threatened, vampires come out of the shadows to take the remaining humans captive. the children of the hyakuya orphanage are among the survivors. yuuichirou detests the vampires, and is determined to escape. mikaela has hatched a plan to do just that. the hyakuya kids make their way to the exit of the vampire city, only to be ambushed by a vampire noble. yuuichirou is the only one to escape. he’s found by the japanese imperial demon army, who say they’ll use him against the vampires. believing the rest of the children dead, yuuichirou joins immediately, determined to seek revenge against the monsters who killed his only family. rep: implied romantic feelings between two men (in the manga the anime is based on this is canon, and the localization team views the relationship as romantic) accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, death, body horror, unreality

banana fish (action, crime drama) summary: ash lynx is a runaway on the streets of nyc, taken in and raised by the godfather of the mafia, dino golzine. now the leader of his own gang, he begins investigating “banana fish” - the only two words his brother will speak after returning from the iraq war. ash meets his friend skip at a bar, where he’s shunichi ibe and eiji okumura, japanese photographers covering american gangs. however, their conversation is cut short, as dino’s men storm the bar and kidnap skip and eiji. ash sets out to rescue them and continue his investigation. rep: canon mlm romance accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: blood, violence, major character death, drugs, homophobia, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape

wonder egg priority (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after the suicide of koito nagase, ai ohto is left to grapple with reality without her best friend. under instructions of a mysterious entity, she purchases a wonder egg. ai breaks the egg in the world that materializes in her sleep, and is tasked with saving people. under the belief that she’ll be able to save koito, ai embarks on a journey where she must recognize the relationship between other people’s demons and her own. rep: canon trans characters, sapphic themes accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: blood, violence, death, suicide, self-harm, transphobia, fatphobia, bullying, abuse, pedophilia, sexual assault, rape additional note: wonder egg priority has a special airing on june 30th, 2021, meant to wrap up the original series - as of writing this post, the series is technically incomplete.

flip flappers (fantasy, sci-fi) summary: cocona is an average middle schooler liing with her grandmother, no clear goals in mind for the future. she meets an odd girl, papika, who inites her to join the organization “flip flap”. cocona finds herself dragged along by papika into the world of pure illusion, a mysterious alternate dimension where papika searches for crystal shards. as cocona and papika explore pure illusion, they awaken to the power within the crystals, transforming into magical girls. they must learn to work together in order to unravel the mysteries of pure illusion, and their pasts. rep: sapphic themes and exploration of sexuality accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable content warnings: mild violence, unreality, mild sexual themes and nudity

noir (action, drama) summary: parisian assassin-for-hire mireille bouquet receives a strange email from kirika yuumara, a japanese student, who invites her to make “a pilgrimage to the past”. mireille makes to dismiss the email as nonsense, until it starts playing a song she recognizes from her youth. when the two meet in person, they’re ambushed by gun-wielding men. to mireille’s surprise, kirika is able to fend for herself - even more surprising, kirika has no memory of how she has such skills. the two of them team up to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, operating under the codename “noir”. rep: canon lesbian characters accessibility: some prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is desirable, but not necessary content warnings: violence, death, implied rape and csa (not shown)

revolutionary girl utena / shoujo kakumei utena (fantasy, psychological drama) summary: after an encounter with a prince who comforted her after the death of her parents, utena tenjou is given a rose-crest ring, and a promise that they’ll meet again someday. however, utena has now committed to becoming a prince herself! after witnessing the abuse of fellow classmate anthy himemiya, utena is drawn into a dangerous game. duelists with rings matching her own battle for the ownership of anthy - the “rose bride”. utena decides she must free anthy from this fate. rep: canon sapphic characters, implied romance (in the movie sequel, this becomes canon) accessibility: prior knowledge of anime tropes and themes is necessary to fully enjoy this anime content warnings: unreality, violence, abuse, homophobia, pedophilia, incest, sexual assault, rape (for a comprehensive, spoiler-free breakdown of all potentially disturbing content, click here) additional note: the movie sequel, adolescence of utena, gives more explicit canon romance than the original series. however, the original series is considered an absolute classic must-watch for sapphics.

if anyone has questions about any series on here, feel free to ask! any other recommendations, feel free to tack on! (please include a summary, rep, accessibility, and any content warnings!)

#long post #i am. so sorry this is so long jdfskbngfd.#i'm not tagging everything on here if people find this post then they find it if not oh well-#also before anyone asks i didn't include legal streaming availability bc tbh it's too hard with different countries' availability #anime rec list #happy pride y'all

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arotechno · 3 years

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The Heartless: Chapter 18

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Chapter XVIII: in which some reunions are bittersweet

I could not remember blacking out, but when I opened my eyes next, I was on my back with bright, leafy green branches filling the sky high above my head. After a few moments, recognition set in; this was the oak tree, the same one I would perch in nearly every night and look out for trouble, trying to spot Petra on her way back from town.

If I had a heart, it would have clenched. Petra—I wondered with a heavy sense of grief whether she was even still alive.

“Welcome back,” a somber voice piped up beside me.

I leapt out of my skin, scrambling to balance myself upright. There was Petra, as if on cue, hair now chopped shoddily above her chin. Her eyes, in the months since I’d last seen her, had taken on a haunted look too mature for a fourteen-year-old child. She had a bow and arrow slung over her shoulder—mine, the old bow I had given her before I left.

“Petra!” I exclaimed. “What… What happened?”

“I found you passed out in the middle of the village and dragged you here.”

“No, no, that’s not— You know what I mean!”

Petra exhaled brusquely and averted her eyes to the treetops. “A while after you left, the royal guard came to the village. Burnt it to the ground. I saw them approaching while I was in town, and managed to warn most of the village to flee, with Marley’s help.” She paused, biting her lip. “Everyone who left has long since moved on by now, probably in hiding in other villages. There was no use coming home to a pile of rubble, only to see if they’d come back a second time. I know Marley took a lot of folks with her. Maybe they aren’t even in the kingdom anymore, I don’t really know.”

“And... Bertrand?”

“He refused to leave his study, no matter how much I begged.”

“Oh.”

“I couldn’t save everyone.”

“Petra, I’m—”

“I know it’s because of you, Ace. I’ve spent enough time out there to know that the king was assassinated by one of the Heartless, and something tells me you had something to do with that.”

Finally, she returned my eye contact once more. Her mouth was set in a permanent frown. It was then that I realized this was not exactly a welcome reunion.

“I… Yes,” I admitted. “I killed him. It was a lapse in judgement. I didn’t think they’d—they thought I was dead. Why would they come here?”

“Do you really think they needed a reason?” Petra snapped. “Ace, why would you do that? Why would you put us all in danger like that? Sure, we didn’t have much, but why would you throw every good thing we did have away just for your moment of glory?”

I pulled absentmindedly at the grass beneath me, twisting the blades around between my fingers. “The royal guard… killed my parents. I was going to confront him, and then… then he was dead. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret getting his blood on my hands like that. And, evidently… the entire village’s.”

Petra averted her gaze again.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she murmured, fist clenching in her lap until her knuckles went white. “But you know what, Ace? That’s not even the worst of it. It’s been months since then, and all this time I’ve been coming back here over and over waiting for you even though I’m so mad that you abandoned us and left me here. Where have you been?”

It was then that I remembered everything I had wanted to tell her before I found what was left of the village. I told her everything, from invading the royal palace with Knife Boy to being dumped in the woods to waking up in Frida’s house to reuniting with Basil and everything in between. When I told her the truth about the curse, she leapt to her feet and began screaming at me, letting loose the kind of pain and anguish that can only be felt by a child who has been lied to her whole life.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she yelled. “I’ve been here on my own for months because the royal guard finally decided to take us all out, and now you’re telling me we never deserved ANY of this? That all this time we were struggling in poverty and isolation is just because everyone hates us, not because there’s something wrong with us? How is that supposed to make this less terrible?” Petra started crying then, hot and angry tears rolling down her face.

“It isn’t,” I replied gently. “I just thought you deserved to know the truth.”

“I don’t care anymore! Whether we’re broken or not, we’re still not allowed to be happy! What’s the point?” Petra snatched the bow and arrow off her shoulder and flung it across the dirt, sending stiff feathers flying into the air. A deep, ragged breath escaped her lungs before she continued, quieter, “Just when you think things are working out, they find another way to ruin you. By taking out the king, Ace, you brought us one step forward but many, many steps back.”

“I know.”

Petra sighed and dropped back down into the grass, sitting cross-legged with her chin in her hands. She sniffled once or twice and wiped the lingering tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands. We sat there in silence for a few moments, as the reality of what our lives had swiftly turned into began to sink in.

“You’re going to leave me here again, aren’t you?” she whispered after a couple of minutes.

My stomach lurched, and I knew that after all that both of us had been through, I could not lie to her.

“You could come with me,” I suggested instead.

“What, and leave home?” Petra shook her head, smiling despite herself. “I couldn’t, not after everything.”

“There’s nothing left here, Petra. It’d just be you.”

Petra frowned at the dirt, yanking blades of grass and twirling them between her fingers.

“It’s different for you, Ace. Home for you was always something far-off, like some fantasy you got to live as a child where you had parents who loved you and tried to keep you safe. Me? This place, and the curse that I always thought came along with it, is all I’ve ever known.”

“I lost my home, so I made a new one, over and over again. You can do the same.”

She looked back up at me and furrowed her brow. “Easy for you to say. You knew life before this. For you, the Village of the Heartless gets to be an unfortunate dark patch in between two perfect realities where you get to be safe and live happily ever after. I don’t have that luxury. This village was your temporary hell, but it’s my hometown.”

It was a child’s oversimplification; when I thought of Swallow’s Point and its inhabitants, the ever-present fear of being discovered as Heartless, any image I could conjure up in my mind was far from idyllic. The Village of the Heartless had become home to me for many years, but I had also indirectly been the cause of its demise. I couldn’t deny that Petra’s words had some truth to them, however exaggerated.

I paused, considering my next words carefully. “Listen, Petra, like it or not, I can’t stay here. I’m a fugitive,” I pointed out. “The entire kingdom thinks I’m dead, and if I’m ever caught, I can assure you they will not hesitate to try to kill me again, and this time, they will make sure they succeed. You can go back and stay with Esther, tell her the truth if you want, or tell her I’m dead, I don’t care. But I can’t stay here, not now.”

Petra averted her eyes again, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“No, I’m coming with you,” she muttered.

I had been expecting more of a fight. “You are?”

“I don’t think I have a choice.” Petra at last raised her eyes to meet mine again, and I saw the glint of determination behind the last few tears she hadn’t been able to suppress. “I’m not going to let you get yourself killed just to make me happy by staying here. And I’m not going to let you leave me again, either.”

I watched in awe as she clambered to her feet and walked over behind the tree, retrieving the bow and arrow she had thrown in her anger.

“But if we’re heading out together again”—she held them out to me—“you’re going to be needing this.”

I took it and ran my thumb and forefinger along the thin maple of the bow, instantly being called back to the day I received it from Marley, and the first time I succeeded at hitting the targets I had set up behind Bertrand’s house out of old tin cans and spoiled gourds, and the nights I spent perched in that same oak tree looking for trouble after dark. This was not the bow with which I had condemned my village, but the one with which I had defended it; Petra now entrusted me with that duty again, although there was nothing left to defend.

The incongruity of this responsibility weighed heavily on me as we dusted the dirt from our pants and set off up the hill through what was once the Village of the Heartless, headed toward the back woods in the direction of the commune. I came to a halt at the top of the hill, frozen stiff before the remains of Bertrand’s house, the tiny run-down cottage I had called home for so many years. Like the rest of the village, it was only burnt rubble now, sprouting soft and verdant with the new growth of spring. I was struck with the realization that Bertrand had died still believing he was a failure for never breaking a curse that had never existed; I wondered briefly whether in his final moments he thought of me fondly or cursed himself for ever giving me shelter.

The weight of the suffering I had caused rose up from the blood-soaked soil and flooded the vacant spaces where my heart should be, and it settled there, heavy and still.

What a monstrous thing it was to be human.

#the heartless #aro #aromantic #aro writing #aro writers #aro creatives #aro creators #aspec #aspec writing #aspec writers #aspec creatives #aspec creators #writing #writeblr #op

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shxwmaster · 3 years

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@archmage--khadgar sent: retrouvaille - the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery

✧°⋆ 𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞 ————send in a word for a drabble or starter based on it.

——

(( I don’t know how canon I want to make this just yet BUT I was hit with a specific idea that I had to run with. Shaw doesn’t have many people he can reunite with, let alone feel happy about it, but this is... ONE. ))

...

[ARCHIVE: YEAR 32 — LOG SHW009876]

Shaw owes his life to the Uncrowned. Without them, he’d still be suffering, still be trapped as Stormwind crumbles under the influence of Detheroc wearing his face. Or, more mercifully, he would have died there, starved, infected, weak, pathetic. They’d saved him, saved Stormwind, spared them from an unnecessary war — he loathed that such an intense debt was placed on him.

Some time after his rescue, and after defeating Detheroc in Stormwind, he returned with the Champions and the rogues into the Uncrowned’s hideout. He pledged his loyalty, he thanked them, and he sought to get straight to work.

But he was weakened already from the months of imprisonment, and moreso from a neglected wound in the fight at SI:7 against the dreadlord. Ravenholdt and the others set out to get back to business, and he collapsed.

Infection, he remembers hearing someone say as he was being tended to. He was in and out, barely registering what was happening. Laid to a bed, cold cloth to his head, someone dressing a wound at his side he hadn’t noticed festered with fel. They called a priest from the Netherlight Temple, and he was given a strict order: rest.

Through the fever, he drifted, coming to now and then. How aggravating, to lose such control. Any of these rogues could have their way with him, and he’d be helpless to it, but he hardly has the strength to fuss and fight over it.

He awakes briefly to the sound of a door opening, his head spinning with the effort it takes to lift it to observe. A young woman, short cropped black hair and a stark red bandana toting a tray of tea had entered.

Vanessa.

He drops his head back down to the pillow, letting out a shaky laugh. “ So it seems I’m dying, then. ”

Vanessa gave pause, gaze flicking towards him briefly before continuing, setting the tray at the nightstand beside him. “ So negative. What makes the great Master Shaw say so? ”

His head lulls to the side, facing away from her. There’s an emotion caught in his throat he can’t quite identify. Grief? Fear? Sorrow? Humor? It’s all so tangled, and his limbs are so cold. “ It’s not the first time I’ve been stuck like this. Wounded. At the brink of death. Funny how sickness makes you see things. ”

“ Hmm. And funny how fevers always bring the most dramatic out of the finest soldiers. ”

He’s quiet for a long moment, enough that Vanessa wondered if he’d drifted off. “ I was seventeen. Tried to outrun orcs, fell off a wall, broke my shin. It was rainy and muddy, exposed bone was wrought to infection. I’d almost died — funny things, I saw, battling that fever. I hallucinated the dead. I thought I had saw my mother, but I didn’t remember her face. All so... wrong. ”

His voice lacks the usual restraint he would give it, so loose and strained it was. Delirious — the fever is perhaps worse than she’d anticipated. He rolls his head back to see her, tired green eyes searching hers, his face pallor and sweaty. Unbecoming.

“ I wish you were real. ”

Ah. That’s what this was. Vanessa doesn’t say anything, simply turning away from him to pour the cup of tea. He still has his gaze on her, however conscious he is, and for whatever reason, Vanessa can’t look at him.

“ You think you’re hallucinating. ”

“ I am. I read the field reports. I already know... ” He forces his head up to stare at the ceiling, vision spinning and blurring. “ I... I was never given a chance to say goodbye to you. After the riots, your father and I — we fought, Light, I could not... I had come home one day and you were gone. I wasn’t given a chance. ”

“ You had plenty of chances, Shaw, ” She says harshly, quiet voice spoken through gritted teeth. “ You sent your agents after the Defias. You knew what happened, you knew they were innocent. You could have come with us. ”

“ I am blood-bound to Stormwind, Vanessa. There was no choice for me. ”

“ There’s always a choice. You chose a broken kingdom over us. ”

He closes his eyes tightly, feeling the brunt of the dizziness wash over him. The pain is deserved, he feels. It’d be mercy if the infection killed him. “ I live with my mistakes. They haunt me every day, everything I could have done differently. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could have done more. Saved him. ” He pauses, and on these last words, his voice breaks. “ Saved you. ”

Vanessa stirs the cup of tea, mostly to avoid looking at him directly and to keep her hands busy. “ How noble, ” She says, retrieving a small, black vial from her belt. Just as practiced, just as planned. “ Those thoughts do much for us now, doesn’t it. ”

“ I prayed, Vanessa. I believe in nothing, not a single higher power but I prayed that you could have had a chance at a different life. After Edwin... — the Saldeans, they could have taken care of you. Given you a different path. You did not need to be confined to your father’s footsteps. ”

Her fingers are on the vial’s cork, ready to pop it open, but a thought stops her. She snaps her head to him, searching his bleary expression with furrowed brows as a realization dawns on her. “ ... You were the bandit that escorted me from the Mines... weren’t you? ”

“ You were just a kid... They orphaned you. Left you with nothing. Left the Brotherhood with nothing. They killed him, and did not bother to see what consequences were left behind. I had to look for you — I had to at least give you a chance. ”

She abandons the vial on the tray, reaching to his bedside to grasp his jaw and force him to look at her. There’s no strength to him; his head is loose with no indication that he can fight back. “ You went all that way — you found me, and you abandoned me at the Saldeans?! ”

The touch almost feels real — this image of Vanessa fills his blurred vision. Those fine angled brows resembled Edwin’s so much, those piercing blue eyes, that charcoal hair — it twists his gut and fills his heart with sorrow. “ They would have given you a normal life. ”

“ Why... Why didn’t you just take me? ”

The pain in her voice makes his eyes sting. Desperately, he had wanted to take her. Edwin was dead, and she was left with nothing — he hadn’t seen her in ten years but he could still raise her, still give her all the opportunities Stormwind had to offer, had the SI:7 induct her and change her life.

But he remembered then, what that connection to Stormwind, to the SI:7 and Assassin’s Guild, what that had all done to him, how loyalty was embedded so deeply in his blood he was forced to abandon love to further the crown — he could not sentence her to that fate. Not to this same fate that killed her father, that doomed her and the Brotherhood, he couldn’t do that to her. She could be normal — no VanCleef, no Shaw, just simple, humble farm girl Saldean. She could have been saved.

She staring down at him, fury and sadness in her eyes that were so familiar. His voice breaks when he answers. “ Would you have forgiven me if I did? ”

She glares at him for a long moment. The bandana conceals the number of times she’d opened her mouth to spit a retort but died in her throat, and eventually, she releases him, his head falling back to the side as she turns away. Forgiveness was not an option for her. This world, this kingdom, this man had taken so much from her. Forgiveness would be concession, surrender, to accept defeat. She had a legacy to uphold, one that couldn’t be won through something as pitiful as forgiveness. No, perhaps she wouldn’t have forgiven him, but it would have been nice to have a home.

The rage is enough to get her back to her plan. She resumes her work, popping open the vial and its viscous liquid. She’d designed it herself — a terrible neurotoxin, engineered just for Shaw. It’d be mistaken for the fel poisoning, stir up his memories and leave him paralyzed and numb, forced to watch his life play back. It’d shut everything in him down in minutes — no master rogue would be able to detect it. Potions, poisons, these were her specialties.

This is what he deserves.

She dumps the vial into the tea, watching the steam fly out as it mixes. Odorless. Beautiful. A work of art. Shaw’s lulling off, utterly disoriented and so far removed from reality she almost feels sorry.

“ I still remember sitting for hours trying to figure out a name... ” He murmurs. “ Kelsa. Variana. Llana. Charlene. Valeria. Maria. Rebecca. Edwin hated all of them. ”

He laughs a little at the fond memory. “ I’m not good at names. That was always Edwin’s strength — and I still remember. He said, no middle names, you get the first one down right or not at all. Which, in hindsight, was solid advice. Vanessa VanCleef — it rolls off the tongue so well. ”

She huffs. “ Better than Hope Saldean. ”

“ Leagues better. My grandmother tried so hard to have you named after her, or my mother. She gave me hell for not letting you take my surname too. Funny how different life could have been. ”

Vanessa frowns, carefully seating herself at the edge of his bed. She hadn’t seen him up close in years — it brings her mixed feelings. The memories she had of him were so, drastically different. Younger, cleaner, and without that stupid damn mustache. But now, he’s aged, wrinkled, greying at the temples and nothing of the energy she remembered him with. It’s weird, really, how it makes her feel.

Shaw’s saying something, so quietly under his breath she has to lean in to catch it.

“ I miss you. Every day, I have missed you, Ness, ” He murmurs, tear-filled eyes holding her gaze. “ I could not bring myself to take you. I prayed, prayed that you’d be better off without either of our legacies, and somehow, somehow things still... I tried. I tried to sabotage those efforts to take down the Defias. I kept the SI:7 out of Westfall, I redirected everyone to the Twilight’s Hammer. I prayed every champion that went into the Deadmines died before they could find you. And still... ”

“ History repeats. ”

“ Doomed to an ugly destiny, aren’t we? ” He laughs bitterly, weakly bringing a hand to cover his pale face. “ When you died... I feel as though a part of me died too. So many years it’s taken me to realize just what I was a part of. How much blood my loyalty spills. What I’ve let it take. ”

“ And now... ” She turns to stare at the cup of tea, her own gaze growing distant. “ Now that same loyalty will kill you too. You loved Stormwind so much, demons took advantage of it. ”

“ There is no love. I don’t think there was ever any love for Stormwind. ” His chin lifts, just slightly. “ Only duty. ”

What a prison.

The concoction on the nightstand would free him from it. Relieve him from his duty, from his loyalty. She’d finally have some semblance of revenge against those who’d wronged the Stonemasons and killed her father. She needs only feed it to him. It’d be so easy too, so, painfully easy. He’s ready to die already, still not even aware that she was real and solid and sitting before him.

It’d be so easy.

So why can’t she do it?

In the end, the truth was, a small part of her had also missed him. Even through the anger and the betrayal, the hurt and the grief, in the end, the only memories she had of him were good. Picking her up as a child, showing her Stormwind, teaching her nifty tricks and getting into minor trouble. How her, Mathias and Edwin would sit on the half-finished towers overlooking Stormwind with a packed lunch and watch the sunset, play for hours until she’d fallen asleep. In the end, all she remembered of him was that he was family at some point. Something she could never have again.

“ Moth. ”

The word almost seems to bring him to life. It grasps his attention, and he looks to her expectantly, still bleary, but alert. How many years had it been since he heard that word?

He watches her, examines her, somehow sharper than before. “ You still remember that name. ”

“ I never forgot it. ”

Tiny Vanessa, still learning her words, had heard everyone call him Mathias, but she tripped on her own pronunciation and called him ‘Moth’. Oh how it stuck — he remembers the name only on the voice of a child, but she’s grown now, she’s older, and he missed all of those years.

“ I came here to kill you, ” Vanessa continues, looking away from him. “ I’ve spent years hating you. Resenting you for everything. You took everything from me. ”

A dawning realization slowly sets in on the feverish Spymaster as he listens. He doesn’t know if he’ll remember this exchange if he heals up and recovers, but there’s a gnawing feeling about this, about this hallucination, about her —

“ You should, ” He says quietly, closing his eyes. “ There is no reason why you shouldn’t. And there is... no one on Azeroth who deserves to end my life than you. ”

“ You’re surrendering? ”

“ Accepting my fate. My consequences. ” His breath picks up, he forces himself to open his eyes and truly see her. Carefully, he reaches out a hand to grasp her wrist, faintly squeezing with what strength he had. “ You’re no hallucination... are you? ”

She stares at the hand for a long moment, contemplating. Then, slowly, she moved to wrap her own around his. “ Don’t trust the word of a mind-addled adventurer. I never died. ”

Hope blooms in his chest, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. How he had mourned her — but she lives, she’s so young and still the chance to live this life —

It’s all he’s needed to hear. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he’s desperately hoping this isn’t a fever dream, that this is real, that she is alive. He holds her hand, as if she’d disappear if he didn’t.

“ Then I have no qualms with dying. ”

...

The fever breaks a few days later, and Shaw makes his swift recovery. The Champions of the Uncrowned request his aid along the Broken Shore, which he obliges as much as he’s able. There’s still plenty of broken pieces to pick up. Azeroth in turmoil, Stormwind in disarray with the false Shaw planting lies, and on top of it, Anduin ordering him to rest, forcibly taking work away from him to leave him with nothing.

Vanessa had left and taken the poison with her. They never spoke directly again, and for a while, Shaw was almost convinced she wasn’t real once he was fully awake and better.

But Greymane and Ravenholdt informed him otherwise. The Defias were as much intertwined with the Uncrowned as the rest of them.

Vanessa lived.

By the time Shaw had returned safely home, he wept.

#missive: inbox #backlog: writing #declassified: legion #file: v. vancleef #( god i was initially stuck on this cause i was like who the FUCK could he have a happy reunion with )#( and though this isn't like. the Happiest or most Joyful it is about the closest you can get )#( not edited i wrote this all in one sitting cause inspiration hit me like a goddamn truck THANKS FOR SENDING )

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allisondraste · 4 years

Text

Temperance (39/42)

Pairing: Nathaniel Howe/ Female, Non-HoF Cousland

Story Summary: Nathaniel and Elissa were childhood friends, but time and distance tore them apart. In the aftermath of the Fifth Blight, and Ferelden’s Civil War, both Elissa and Nathaniel must attempt reconstruct their tattered lives. As a series of events lead them to be reunited, both are reminded of so many years ago when things were much simpler.

Chapter Summary: Liss wakes up from a nightmare, and Nathaniel is nowhere to be found.

Notes: This chapter is a bit heavier with the canon-typical violence than most, so please take care of yourselves if that’s a trigger for you.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

[AO3 LINK]

Vigil’s Keep, 9:31 Dragon

Liss’ eyes fluttered open, heart already rattling her rib cage before her vision adjusted to the dim light of the room. Clanks and clashes of swords and shields rang out nearby. It was familiar, as if she’d read it in a book, saw it in her dreams, yet it was blurry, masked by a drowsy fog. Where was she? Why was she so afraid?

A dog growled and barked just feet away, and Liss sat up abruptly. Bear. It was unlike the quiet, gentle hound to make any sound in the middle of the night. So, distressed barks and growls spaced intermittently between bouts of pawing and scratching at the door was a little more than alarming. Sliding out of bed, stone floor cold against her bare feet, Liss approached the door and knelt down to examine Bear more closely. He panted and whined, looking desperately between Liss and the door.

“Lady Elissa,” cried a frantic voice from the other side, followed by three sharp raps against the wood.

Liss looked at Bear whose ears flattened down against his head. She took a deep breath and quietly grabbed a spare fire iron that leaned against the wall next to the door, very aware she was in nothing more than her nightclothes and completely unprotected. She straightened her posture and opened the door hesitantly.

“Soldier,” Liss said, holding her chin up and responding with her best attempt at authority, “You best have a good reason for waking me.”

“My lady,” the man said, relieved, sweat and blood dripping from his forehead, eyes wide, breath shallow, “Thank the Maker you’re alive. You have to—“

He was interrupted by the sword suddenly puncturing his chest. Liss gasped and watched the man, one of Highever’s own soldiers, fall to the floor, dead. She brought her eyes to the assailant who now prepared to attack her, shield and cuirass bearing the Howe family crest. Bear pushed in front of her, growling and baring his teeth. Anger swelled in Liss’ chest and she lunged at the attacker, swinging the iron as forcefully as she could. She knocked his sword out of his hand while he was staggered, picked it up, and used it to pierce upward into a convenient gap in his armor.

She had never killed a person before. She never even thought she would have to. She was a skilled warrior, trained in combat; however, she was trained in peaceful days. Her swordsmanship was reserved for dueling rinks and tournaments. Not this. Not taking someone’s life. She shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the memory of the noise he made as he died, pretended that his blood was not spattered across her face, that it was not seeping into the hem of her gown. She did not have time. There was more shouting and fighting just down the hall, and she was in charge of the castle.

With nothing more than a blink and a breath, she found herself kneeling on the floor in the room where Fergus’ family resided. She cradled Oren in her arms, rocking his tiny little body as if he were only sleeping, ignoring the cold touch of his skin and the stiffness in his limbs. Mama stood in the corner, with her back turned, sobbing and overcome with grief. Liss trembled as she lay her nephew back down on the bloodstained rug, glancing only briefly to the body of her sister-in-law that lay close by. She could feel herself breaking inside, resolve to survive, to protect the castle dissolving beneath the weight of what she had already lost. Maker, take her instead. Please. Take her instead.

Another blink and she stood at the entrance to the family’s hidden passageway out of the castle, watching her mother hold her father while she hummed and attempted to apply pressure to a deep wound across his abdomen. Liss’ blood turned to ice and she was frozen, numb, unable to cry and scream like the little girl inside of her wanted to. Papa was dying. Her protector and idol lay bleeding on the floor and she was powerless to save him. Her world was falling apart before her eyes and there was nothing she could do to pull it back together. It took all of her strength to keep her knees from buckling beneath her.

“Elissa, don’t just stand there,” her mother snapped, voice like a splash of cold water to the face, “Bar the door.”

Liss looked around the room. “But what about Bear,” she asked. She did not remember being separated from her dog, and now she worried for his safety.

An urgent “Sweetheart” was the only thing her mother said, brows slanting sympathetically.

“R-right. Of course,” she murmured as she rushed to secure the room, ignoring the pit in her stomach and the ache in her chest as she did so. As soon as the door was sealed, she returned to kneel beside her parents.

“Papa,” she said, words turning into tears, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what, my dear girl,” he rasped, bringing a shaking hand to her face.

“This is all my fault. I should have been more alert, moved fas—“

“Nonsense,” he interrupted, voice hoarse, breathing labored. “You did all you could.”

He coughed forcefully, and a trickle of blood rolled down his chin. Mama wiped it away with a makeshift handkerchief she tore from the bottom of her nightgown. She spoke to him calmly, voice so low that Liss could not hear what she said, but she looked frazzled and defeated, jaw set and hands trembling. She smiled when Papa looked up at her, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You must escape, Elissa,” Mama said abruptly.

“I won’t leave you behind,” Liss protested, “I can’t.”

Her mother reached forward and grabbed her wristed, squeezing tightly. “You do not have a choice.”

“But—” “One of us has to leave, find Fergus,” she explained, “You and your brother must go to the King, announce to the entire country what Rendon Howe has done. Do you hear me?” “Yes Mama,” Liss answered, dejectedly.

Before she could even say a final goodbye to her parents she found herself standing alone, engulfed by complete darkness. She squinted her eyes and searched for someone, anyone, but no matter how far she ran in any direction, no matter how loudly she shouted, there was nothing but a completely empty void and she was the lone inhabitant. Lost, terrified, and heartbroken, she fell to her knees and pounded her fists against the ground as her own thoughts echoed around her.

You let your family die.

It is all your fault.

You should have died instead.

“No. No. No!” She gasped and shouted as she woke up, shocked to find herself clean and warm in a bed. Still, her whole body shook convulsively until a gentle pressure fell upon her shoulder. She looked up and blinked a few times until the figure standing above her came into focus and became recognizable.

“Shh. Easy, love. You’re all right.” It was the mage — the irreverent, overly forward one who called himself Anders. He offered her a reassuring smile and continued. “The nightmares are nasty, aren’t they?”

Liss nodded slowly, still not entirely awake, waiting for her body to realize it was safe to relax. She was accustomed to nightmares, but nothing like the one from which she had just awoken. They had always been brief flashes from the night her family died, as if it were happening to someone else and she watched from a distance. She had never had a nightmare that was so real, so vivid that it was almost exactly like living the horror all over again.

“Other people say they have nightmares about darkspawn, dragons and the like,” Anders explained, “I never have. They’re always about the bloody Circle. What I wouldn’t give for a darkspawn to eat me in my dreams instead.” He laughed, but it was empty and sad.

“Mine wasn’t about darkspawn either,” she answered, mouth turning to cotton as she spoke.

“Here,” said a different voice and Liss turned to see Velanna extending a cup of water to her as if she had read her mind.

“Thank you,” Liss said, taking the cup and steadying it with both of her hands. She brought the rim to her lips and took a long drink. “How long have I been unconscious?”

“Around an hour,” Anders answered, “Which was a bit concerning considering that most people who survive wake up immediately.”

Liss took another drink and then sat the cup down. “Did something go wrong?”

“You had an unusual reaction to the ritual,” Velanna interjected, “You had symptoms of blight sickness, which Wardens do not typically experience.”

“Am I going to be okay?”

“You woke up, did you not?” The elf smiled gently despite the directness of her words.

“I suppose I did,” Liss muttered, and recalled the memory of the other recruits strangling, dying just before her name was called. She remembered the wave of dread and panic that crashed into her and held her under. It was all muddled after that, vision going black, falling to the ground, Nate’s frantic voice as he caught her.

Liss’ eyes widened. Everything was fuzzy after that, and Nathaniel’s absence worried her. Their last conversation had not ended well at all, and shame burned under her cheeks as she remembered his confession. She had dismissed his feelings entirely, feelings that she’d begged him to talk about for years, feelings that she’d prayed for even after she stopped writing to him. She did not regret her anger—she had every right to be angry with him— but walking away from someone she loved and leaving him to think she didn’t, as if it were some sort of justified response to his poor timing, had been uncalled for. He had looked so hurt and heartbroken, jaw set as he stepped aside and let her head to her potential demise. She realized now that he had only been trying to protect her from something horrific, and she’d stubbornly accused him of not trusting her abilities. Maker, what if she had finally ruined things between them for good?

“Something the matter?” Anders tilted his head and waved his hand in front of her face.

“Where’s Nathaniel,” she asked, ignoring Anders’ question about her well-being.

“Probably off sulking in a dark corner somewhere,” Anders joked, clearly not sensing the gravity of Liss’ question. “You know how he is. I mean, at least I think you do. You two seem to have quite the history.”

Velanna rolled her eyes at Anders and sighed before looking at Liss sympathetically. “Nathaniel was… rather worried when you did not wake immediately. I have never seen him so upset before.”

“Did he seem angry?” Liss’ voice wavered as she spoke, betraying her most vulnerable emotions to people she barely knew.

“No. Not at all.” The other woman frowned, clearly confused. “Just worried.”

“He was more shaken than anything,” Anders added, “As soon as he trusted that you were stable, he left, said he needed to clear his head.”

“I need to talk to him,” Liss said, grunting and sitting up, struggling against the pounding and throbbing in her head.

“No. You need to rest,” Anders scolded carefully, motioning for her to lie back down, “I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

“I’m fine.” Liss grumbled as she staggered to her feet, a bit dizzy and nauseous, but no worse for the wear otherwise. She made her way to the door, turned the knob and heading out into the hallway, stopping only to thank Anders and Velanna for taking care of her.

The halls of Vigil’s Keep were not as familiar and committed to memory as Liss had hoped they would be. She was not even certain where the bloody stairwell was. She intended to head out to the courtyard. When Nate said anything about clearing his head, it almost always meant archery. She recognized that it had been a long time since she had actually heard him say that, but she assumed he had not changed in that regard, so not knowing the location of the stairs was a significant barrier. Unfazed, she continued down the long narrow corridor, taking at least a glance at each door, stopping in her tracks as she saw one that was not entirely closed. Remembering just three years prior when Delilah had given her a tour, Liss was confident that it had been Nate’s.

She knew that it could belong to anyone now, but her curiosity was piqued and she stepped over to stand in front of it, rapping her knuckles against the wooden surface. There was no answer, and although she knew it was rude, she nudged the door open further and walked inside, looking about the room. There were no immediate and obvious signs that Nathaniel resided there, well, with the exception of the Howe family portraits stacked in the corner of the room, including the one of his father and hers that he asked Garavel to save. She could not imagine anyone else finding value in those old things.

Entering further, she noticed several items littering a dresser near the bed. The items were strewn about in a way that suggested that a pack had been emptied hurriedly in search of something specific. Approaching the dresser, she noticed a small coin purse that was mostly empty, several lockpicks, and a whetstone. There were also some tools Liss definitely remembered Nathaniel using to craft arrows, and a small, bronze figurine carved into the shape of a bronto. She picked it up excitedly, causing it to make a faint jingling noise, and she noticed the tiny crank where it’s tail should have been. It was a clever little music box, she thought as she sat it aside, eyes drawn to an empty envelope and crumpled up piece of parchment that lay next to it.

Taking the ball of parchment in her hands, Liss began to carefully straighten it out, making sure she did not tear it accidentally. Immediately, she recognized the handwriting as Nate’s and the date at the top indicated that it was from just days before, from Denerim. She moved her eyes down the page and her heart fluttered. The letter was addressed to her, and she no longer felt guilty for reading it. Walking over to the bed, she sat down on the edge, and began to read.

Dear Liss,

I think we can both agree that this letter is long overdue. I am not certain where to begin, other than to say that I am sorry for never writing to you . I was young, stupid, and hurting so much that I could hardly stand it. Losing you was like losing a limb, some large part of myself that I could learn to live without, but only if I pretended I never had it in the first place. I am not saying it was a good choice, but it was the only way I knew how to cope. It was selfish and inconsiderate, and I hope that you can forgive me.

I have many regrets, the biggest being that I never told you how I felt about you. There is no time like the present, I suppose. Even if it is too late, I need you to know, or it will drive me crazy for the rest of my life.

The truth is, Liss, I love you. I have loved you since the day you crawled out from under my bed on my first night in Highever, and I wasn’t even old enough to know what love was. I just knew that being near you made me feel better, and that there was nowhere else in Thedas I wanted to be. It frustrated me to no end that you could not see all that I saw in you, that you thought you were so average. You could not be average if you tried.

I want you to know that regardless of where we go from here, no matter what happens between us, I won’t think any differently. You were my best friend, and all of the memories from my childhood I care to keep are with you and your family. I do not know what I would have done without you.

I missed you, Liss, more than words could accurately convey. I know you are tired of apologies, but I don’t care. I am sorry that I never told you any of this before. I am sorry that I was so terrified of my father that I let him come between us. I am sorry if I ever once made you think I didn’t care about you. I am sorry that I waited until the night before I left to dance with you, to kiss you. More than anything else, I am sorry that I wasted nine years of my life pretending that I could be happy without you.

It is good to finally see you again.

Sincerely Love,

Nathaniel

Tears fell from her eyes, crashing onto the paper as she read, dropping more and more quickly as she reached the end. It was everything she wanted to hear from Nate, jotted down succinctly in one letter, a letter he’s clearly written just after their reunion and carried around for days, waiting to find the right time to give it to her, or to just say it out loud. Everything had been so chaotic, he probably hadn’t even had the chance. Each time it seemed they would have a moment alone together, one of them was pulled away for a duty of some sort. Then, she asked to join the Wardens, and one misunderstanding and wrong conclusion after another led them to hang on the delicate thread where their relationship currently dangled.

It was all ridiculous, so completely unnecessary. They both wanted the same thing. They both needed to have the same conversation. Liss couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation, even as tears continued to fall.

Liss was drawn from her amusement by an abrupt shuffle of footsteps in the hall nearby, too light and quick to be any of the guards. Before she could move to stand, to return the letter to where it had been, the door creaked open further and Nathaniel stood in the doorway, brows furrowed and head tilted in confusion. Clearly, he had not expected to find her sitting on his bed when he left his door open. He should have known better.

“Liss,” he asked, as if he couldn’t believe his own eyes. She could hear the ragged edge to his voice, the emotion that dared to burst loose. She wanted to see it, hear it, even if it hurt. It was time that he let her see past that wall of propriety and stoicism he always attempted to maintain when he was most upset.

“Hey Nate,” she said, attempting to keep her own composure. She stood up from the edge of his bed, letter still in her hand. Holding it up to show him, and smiling through the tears. “I finally got your letter.”

#dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age awakening #nathaniel howe #nathaniel howe x cousland #temperance #update #my writing #i am sorry in advance

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acediian · 4 years

Text

—𝓉𝑜𝓋𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑜𝓃'𝓈 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝒻𝓉 (𝓋𝒾𝒾𝒾.)

thanos x original character fanfiction | pre-infinity war | 2k words +

a/n: it’s been a long time since i worked on the fic and an even longer time since i updated it here! hope you enjoy this little goodbye to tovarion <3

chapters i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii.

A dense, silvery fog had settled on the capital city and surrounding overnight, and a distinct crispness had followed it. Aerendis found herself straining to see through it as the sound of the palace servants removing the last remnants of her possessions echoed in her now empty chambers. If not for her impending departure, it would have been as typical a morning as any on Tovarion. A typical fog, through which she could hear the familiar squawking of the fowl that made their nests in the trees and the growing commotion of the city as it slowly came to life for the day.

Yet a heaviness shrouded her and a melancholy sallowed her cheeks on this particular morning. Even through the fog, she could still see her husband’s warship looming overhead, its red lights flickering through the mist. Aerendis wished she could get one last glimpse at her beautiful city, of the silvery hills that sparkled with the afternoon sunlight, or the distant ocean whose gentle waves had always beckoned her.

All morning, she had barely said a word to anyone - only a “yes” or “no” spoken every so often as servants asked if this item or that item was to be transported to the warship. Her cloak of royal blue fluttered at her ankles in the soft morning wind, the fur around her neck tickling her cheeks. Silver trimmed the entire outfit, a form-fitted grey cloth jacket clasped together down the front with elegant stitching and buttons, and slim trousers to match. Sensible not only for the cold morning air, but also a love letter to the royal family and to the home she was soon to leave behind.

“Princess Aerendis, will you have something to eat before you depart?” one of her mother’s handmaidens asked - no, begged - for what seemed like the tenth time.

She shook her head. She had no appetite to speak of, only a knot of nerves rolling and twisting inside her.

Others stopped to ask her a few more times as the room emptied over the next minutes, hour - she did not know. When the sound of shuffling feet and clunking wood died down, Aerendis finally turned away from the balcony. All the contents were gone save for a few small pieces of furniture. These had been her chambers since her birth. To see it so empty for the first time elicited a feeling akin to grief in her chest. She began to pace, taking in the image of the room’s tree-like wooden beams, its large, ornate windows, its floor, weathered from millennia of use.

There was no mistaking the sound of footsteps as they approached through the open door. Aerendis heard the individual’s feet snap together and she turned to see one of her mother’s servants in a deep bow. “Princess, your belongings have been moved to the ship, along with your handmaiden’s.”

“Thank you,” she replied, her voice soft yet it still seemed to echo throughout the room.

“Your husband - erm, his highness... ” he spoke the last two words through gritted teeth. “- awaits your arrival, princess.”

“Then I should not keep him waiting.”

With another bow, the servant left her once again. Aerendis stood, rigid as stone, as his footsteps slowly retreated down the long hallway. There was a part of her that wanted to stay here, pretend as though no one would come looking for her as she did. Or, she could mount her Faraax and ride to the other side of the world, to where the mountain clan lived in secluded huts in the coldest regions of Tovarion.

But such thoughts were for children, not for a princess who had duties to her family, her people, and her husband alike.

Saying a silent goodbye to the chambers that had served her so well over the years, Aerendis began the long walk through the palace and out to where her husband expected her. She could still hear the lively music playing from inside the great hall from the party that had gone on all night and would continue as such for days on end. The sweet, tinny aroma of Tovari wine and the warm smell of bread from the kitchens filled her nostrils as she passed. There was nothing that she would not miss about home.

Though Aerendis had left many times before, the promise of return had always been at her fingertips. This time, there was no telling when her feet would touch Tovari soil again. The realization of that fact was as harsh as the cold morning air bit at her skin.

“Aerendis,” the queen’s voice echoed throughout the hall, followed by a flurry of footsteps behind her. Her mother was rarely without her entourage. It was even more unsurprising that she would have so many handmaidens and guards at her side on this day.

“Ama.” Aerendis replied with a certain shock in her own voice. “I thought you would be outside already.”

“I have a great many places to be today,” Aredhyn replied. “But your side is where I want to be most right now.” Her arms enveloped her daughter, pulling her into a hug far tighter than any Aerendis could remember. Yet the princess did not object or make any utterance of discomfort, only sinking into her mother’s warm embrace and wrapping her own arms around her.

“I suppose this is goodbye,” Aerendis whispered with a distinct tremble in her voice.

“No,” the queen replied, pulling away to take her daughter’s face gently between her hands. “Not goodbye.” Their foreheads touched and both pairs of eyes - identical in their round shape and hue of grey - closed. “Until we see one another again.” Whether in this life or the next, Tovari would always reunite with their people in the end.

“I like that much better.”

“So do I.” A thumb caressed Aerendis’ cheek before falling away. The pair began their slow walk through the halls together, followed closely by the others.

“Ama, I am afraid that I won’t know how to be a wife to him,” Aerendis confessed. “There is no love between us. I bear no loyalty to him aside from the vows I spoke in the temple. How am I to serve a conqueror? A warlord?”

“You can only serve as you have promised. You have offered diplomacy and that is what you shall give. This does not mean that you will need to fight for him. Frankly, I cannot see you ever agreeing to such a thing.” Aredhyn glanced lovingly at her daughter, her fierce girl with a quick tongue who had been fortunate enough to never have experienced true battle in all her days. “You have a gentle, good heart, my love. Such a heart may have no place on a warship, but I know it will guide you nonetheless. And it will most certainly bring you at odds with your husband at times.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” Aerendis sighed. “I suppose, at the very least, that I will never have a dull moment.”

“No, you won’t.”

The queen chuckled, locking arms with her daughter as the two proceeded through the palace gates and down the vast staircase that ended in the stone square below. All the way down, Aerendis glanced one last time over the city - at each shop and home, at the residents who went about their day. Her eyes ultimately fell on Thanos, who stood with his daughters by his right side and the others who served him by his left. Illaria waited, too, hands clasped uncomfortably before her as she stood by such a menacing group.

“It seems as though I have kept you waiting yet again,” Aerendis said to her husband, a grin hiding behind her eyes. She found a certain enjoyment in his displeasure already; that frown of his was one she was certain she would see a great many times in the coming years. “The power stone is secure on your ship, I take it.”

“Yes, princess,” Thanos replied. As usual, he sounded exasperated by her. “You upheld your end of our bargain.”

“And I hope to continue to do so.” Her mother was right, however. She knew their opinions would clash time and time again, despite her promises to him.

“If you’ve said your goodbyes, we will--”

“Rena!” Thanos was cut off as Erodhil came barreling down the palace steps, breathless and flushed in the face. His shoulder-length black hair was as unkempt as his outfit, which he hurriedly attempted to straighten as he caught a stern glance from their mother. “Rena... my gods. I did not realize that you were departing so early.”

“I see you’ve been enjoying my wedding feast,” Aerendis replied, a single brow raised. “Have you been up all night?”

“Well, yes, but...” he began, his eyes flitting to Thanos for a brief moment. “Haven’t you?”

Aerendis, too, turned to meet her husband’s gaze briefly, a similarly furrowed expression on his face. “No," she said a bit too forcefully. "I merely woke early to pack my things.”

“You should have returned to the hall to have a drink with me.”

“I wish I had had the time.” Aerendis stepped toward her brother, arms wrapping around him. “Carry on celebrating for me, big brother.” She remembered her mother’s words from before. “Until we see each other again.”

“Yes, until then,” he echoed, his grip around her tightening.

“I hope that day will come soon.” Aerendis knew he did as well. They had always been an inseparable pair, practically since her birth. What would he do, now, without all her wisdom to guide him? “I wish you all the health and happiness in the world, brother. Remember all I have told you and you will come to be a great king one day.”

Erodhil scoffed and drew back to scowl at her. “I already would be!” But the look she returned caused his frown to soften. He digressed and sunk once again into their embrace. “I will miss you, Rena.” His voice dropped to a volume that only she could hear. “Please be safe. Look out for yourself. I will pray for you every day. I hope you will find even a semblance of happiness in your new life. You deserve nothing less.”

“Thank you, Erodhil.” Drawing away, her lips turned up into a coy grin. “Look at you, a sentimental prince.”

“Hm.” His stoicism belied the sadness she knew brewed beneath the surface. Aerendis could see that he was seconds from crumbling.

“I will pray for you, too. And I will miss you every day.”

“May the gods guide you home.” Words spoken to any Tovari who left the planet. A simple wish, a prayer, to follow them wherever they may travel.

Aerendis drew him into one last hug. “I love you, brother.”

“I love you, too,” Erodhil mumbled into her hair before letting her go.

The queen embraced her daughter almost as quickly as her son stepped back, pressing a loving kiss to her cheek. “Be well, my love. Gods guide you on your journey across the stars. I will see you again soon.”

“That’s a promise,” Aerendis murmured, basking in the warm comfort of her mother’s arms for just a moment longer.

“I love you, so very much.”

“And I love you, Ama.”

Tears brimmed in Aerendis’ eyes, eliciting a similarly misty-eyed glance from her mother. But the princess blinked them away as she turned toward her husband. Even as this all transpired, it somehow still felt like a dream - one from which she desperately hoped to wake. But the sweetness of the trees filling her nostrils and the soft, cool wisp of morning air that brushed her cheek told her that she was not sleeping.

Grasping Illaria’s hand in hers, a bright sheath of light surrounded them. Just as a weightless feeling overtook her, she caught her mother’s gaze one final time before the darkness of the warship engulfed her and Tovarion lay far, far beneath her feet.

Tagging: @kurochan3 (let me know if you’d also like to be tagged in future chapters!)

#thanos #thanos fanfiction #thanos imagine #thanos fic #thanos x oc #thanos x original character #original character #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fic #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #mcu #mcu fic #mcu imagine #mcu fanfic #f: tovarion

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spideychelleforever · 5 years

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When Spider-MJ Survived the Snap But Peter Didn’t: Epilogue

It had been five years since she and Tony had held Peter as he sobbed and cried and begged for help as he faded away. Five years since MJ had desperately, weakly pleaded with the universe, “no, please, no, not my baby, please not my baby,” as if it cared that she was in love with him and he was dying before her eyes. He wasn’t even hers, anyway, because she’d been so stupid and blind to the precious time they did have together, and how she’d taken it for granted.

It had been five years since MJ’s life was destroyed in the span of a minute as she watched those sweet, sweet eyes of Peter’s fade away as he seemed to watch himself die in despair.

Five years later, MJ knew she would never forget the day her life ended. That she would likely never completely move on from what had happened. She couldn’t erase five years of crying, aching, and heartbreak.

But what she could do now, however, was lean on her boyfriend Peter Parker for support as much as he needed to lean on her.

[[MORE]]

****

Peter and MJ returned to Midtown, and cried again as they desperately hugged Ned. Peter was the one who learned his other best friend was another victim, upon seeing he hadn’t aged a day since he last saw him. But finally, the trio was reunited again.

They had to repeat the school year over again, so that fucking blowed, but they reasoned if it meant more time together, they could take it.

Time.

Time was something so precious, so pure, so priceless. Even after all she’d gone through, MJ wondered if she really understood how much time meant. She figured she should by now, given she was one of the pioneers of time travel. But she was admittedly kind of afraid she didn’t properly understand how precious it was. Sometimes she worried she was taking it for granted.

She’d been given a second chance just as much as Peter, Ned, May, and the other victims had been given. Only Stephen had given her five years back so she could return to being Peter’s age - with a time-displaced Time Stone, meaning that this freebie could never, ever happen again.

Or could it? After all she’d seen, after befriending people like Rocket and Carol and time travel and the Snap, was anything really impossible? She had to keep that in mind, but nonetheless, the gravity of what Stephen had given her was never lost on her.

Besides, she thought. She was in a relationship with Peter Parker, the boy she thought was too good and pure to ever notice how weird and dark and lonely she was; the boy who died a horrible death but came back smiling like nothing had happened. The boy she’d pined after for five years, then grieved another five years. Thinking back, she knew that if Peter had stayed dead, she would’ve never dated or married anyone. As silly as it was, Peter was her person, and even if she died remembering Peter’s death 80 years before, she knew he was the only one for her.

Now he was holding her hand when they walked, buying her her favorite tea, giving her kisses and Goodnight texts. Now he was telling her how much he cared about her and wanted to make her happy.

Thinking all of that made her laugh, too. The universe had been torn asunder, she’d lost all her friends and family, the universe had been saved, and of course, MJ was thinking about how in love she was with Peter. Priorities, Jones.

Their relationship bloomed over the school year. May heartily approved, and so did her parents. Oh dear god, her reunion with her parents was something else. In her grief she’d forgotten a lot of people, and it was certainly weird to explain to them that no, she wasn’t also a victim of the Snap, and what Stephen had done. But they accepted it, saying that if that meant they got five years back with their baby, they were nothing but happy.

A class trip to Europe took place the following summer, and MJ helped Peter defeat disgruntled former Stark employee #35729, Quentin Beck. On a bridge in London, she showed Peter the broken black dahlia necklace, and when she said she preferred it broken, Peter finally told her what he had planned to tell her atop the Eiffel Tower.

“I’m in love with you, Michelle,” he said with a starstruck, awed smile.

MJ’s face nearly broke from smiling so hard. “I’m in love with you, too, Peter.” And they shared a series of progressively better kisses to seal it off.

****

Years passed.

Graduation happened. College acceptance letters happened. College happened. Failing classes happened. MJ’s thighs getting thick and fat happened. The Dean’s list happened. Peter briefly growing facial hair then shaving it off happened. Their first time happened. More threats happened, city level and Avengers level. Graduation from college happened. Masters degree, then a PHD happened. Dr. Michelle Jones happened.

Ten years after Peter had returned from beyond the veil, he had suggested they take a walk through a park that was conveniently close to the middle school they’d met at. Where MJ first laid eyes on the little nerd with mousy hair and a high, squeaky voice, and though she didn’t know it at the time, her heart had gone that day, never to be reclaimed again.

The sun was setting, and they walked from the park to outskirts of the school grounds, and eventually took a seat on a bench, enjoying the comfortable silence as they felt a cool breeze make its way past them to the rolling hills of the park.

“MJ? Are you happy?” Peter suddenly asked.

MJ laughed. “Quite the conversation starter.”

“But yes. Yes, I am.” MJ squeezed his hand in hers. “With you.”

That seemed to pump something into Peter. He let go of her hand and stood up over her. “Then MJ, I want to say this before anything else.”

“I love you. I’m in love with you. However I need to put it, MJ, I’m yours. You are the most important person in my life and I could not live without you. You’re the most incredible, breathtaking, wonderful person there is and I wish I had noticed you sooner so we could have had even more time together. But that’s alright, because I want to spend all my time with you. I want to build my life with you. So MJ-“

“Let me stop you right there,” MJ said suddenly, before Peter could move again. Now she had gotten up, and Peter nearly fainted as he watched his girlfriend take his hands and get down on one knee in front of him.

“MJ, what are you doing-“ Peter gasped desperately.

“You died fifteen years ago,” MJ started, a lump in her throat, “and like I’ve told you, I spent every day for the next five years a shell of a person because I was already in fucking love with you, and I wanted to see you again. Even if you never noticed me, I wanted you alive again because you are the kind of person, Peter, who makes everyone’s lives better because you’re in them. There is no way to scientifically measure just how good you are. That’s why I fell in love with you the day we met at this school. That’s why I knew those five years that I would never find anyone else. Because you’re the one for me, Peter Benjamin Parker, and I never want to let you go, either.” MJ sucked in a sharp breath because now, she couldn’t help it, a few tears were steaming down her face.

“But I’ve known for a while you were planning this so.. so get on your knee and pull it out, Peter.”

Peter looked at her in confusion, interrupting his pure smile, but he realized what she was saying, and did as she suggested. He got down on one knee right in front of MJ, and pulled the ring from his pocket.

Before he could say it, MJ beat him. “Let’s ask at the same time?”

“Okay,” Peter nodded, in awe of what was happening.

“Peter, will you marry me?” “Michelle, will you marry me?”

Both were crying by now.

“Yes.” “Yes.”

And they kissed slowly, deliberately, trying to get all of their emotions into it, knowing that this was one of the most important moments of their lives and still being in awe of it.

And as MJ grinned through her tears, Peter put the ring on her finger. “You know,” Peter said, “Dr. Jones-Parker is such a badass name and you’re gonna rock it.”

MJ laughed. “You never know, I might just take Dr. Parker. I like that name. A certain loser has it as his last name and I like that loser a lot, so..”

Peter grinned. “I can’t believe I’m your fiancé.”

MJ sniffled. “I’m very observant, so I saw it coming a while ago. But this is-this is perfect.”

“It is,” Peter agreed. And they stayed there facing each other on one knee each until their legs hurt.

****

Despite the utter exhaustion she was feeling, MJ couldn’t stop crying, feeling the extra heat of the tiny body bundled in white that she was holding to her. Peter was sitting right next to her in a chair, his face nuzzled against her and their daughter.

It had been seventeen years since Peter had died in MJ’s arms. Despite all the happiness that had taken place in their lives in the intervening years, seventeen years later, as they both held their baby girl, both of them felt like their lives had started anew again.

And they were ready to enjoy it together.

****

This has been a mammoth undertaking that I never knew I had in me. I want to thank my crush @you-guys--are-losers and my dear @spiderman-homecomeme , you two lovelies always inspire me so. I want to thank dearest @theslytherinterran for their constant, unyielding feedback and support. I want to thank @parallelmarvel , one of the Tumblr loves of my life. To @peterjonesparker , who started it all with her amazing series that got me into this fandom in the first place. To @sodafizzyart for always taking my illustration requests and KILLING it each time.

And to the rest of my regular tag-list, all of you being sweet, sweet dears who make me feel special and loved. @spideychelle @spideyxchelle @spideychelle-romanogers @lovely-iris-west-allen @wandrlust-stark @acastleintheair @miranduh1 @seek-rest @tare8chan and allllll the rest.

Thank you all. Spideychelle Forever.

#spideychelle #avengers: endgame #avengers endgame #endgame #michelle jones #zendaya #tom holland #mj #peter parker #tomdaya #spideychelle headcanon #michelle #zendaya coleman #spideychelle is canon #peter parker x michelle jones #michelle jones x peter parker #spideychelle college au #spideychelle parents au #when spider-MJ survived the snap but peter didn’t

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eternityunicorn · 4 years

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When Death Meets Life - Part Six +18

Author: eternityunicorn

Genre: Romance/Drama/AU

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x OC

Warnings: Smut (*Smut chapters marked +18)

Summary: AU - Set in TO Season 3 and Season 5 - Elijah Mikaelson was a creature of death, an Original vampire designed to take life. One night, while searching for a missing Hayley, who was cursed to remain a wolf by Niklaus, he encounters a most wondrous creature, one opposite to himself. This being is a creature of life - a unicorn! He witnesses her breathing life back into a group of dead werewolves. He finds himself amazed by her, but then she vanishes like a dream. Who is she? Will he ever find out?

NOTE: OC and original elements are from my up and coming novel series!

AUTHOR’S COMMENTARY: Well, in honor of the one year anniversary of ‘Elijah’s Eternity’, I decided to post the final chapter of ‘When Death Meets Life’. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!

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New Orleans - Three Days Later

Elijah stood in front of a roaring fire. He was dressed in his well-tailored suit once more, which signified that he had his memories back. The ethereal beauty he had made his wife during his time as an amnesiac had undone Vincent’s magic and Marcellus’ compulsion with ease, and the second that she had, he recalled everything. It was like the fog had been lifted. What had been vaguely familiar was now crystal clear.

Quite frankly, it was good to be back, despite all the turmoil and hardships. Though, he had to admit, part of him knew he would miss the quiet life, where chaos and bloodshed didn’t reign his existence. Still, this was where he belonged - with his family. This life was the right one.

He had only been back for the past three days, but life had already gotten back to normal, with one exception. Though they had spent seven years together in domestic bliss, Eternity was a new player in this existence, his original existence. He now knew exactly how she had known about him, about Niklaus, about everything to do with the Mikaelsons.

The Original recalled their meeting in the woods a decade ago. He remembered the creature of life he had met, the strange white beast of legend that had healed and resurrected those werewolves that had been targeted by poachers. She had been foreign to him then, but now he knew her...intimately.

Furthermore, he also understood that they were somehow bound together, as if their souls had been intertwined the moment their bodies had. He recollected their initial encounter, when Eternity had mentions something about soulmates. Remembering that conversation, Elijah put together that she had meant that they were soulmates and it had been that fact that had freed her from being a prisoner of those woods, as well as released her from the form of a unicorn.

Despite that and the happy life they had shared together, the elegant vampire wasn’t sure as to what to do about his wife. He couldn’t say he didn’t love her now, because the truth was, he loved her as much as he had during his time as an amnesiac, if not more so. It wasn’t how he felt about her that made him uncertain going forward. He was actually hung up on the fact that he was a creature of death and she was one of life.

Just what kind of future could they, two opposites, have together? Surely, there could be nothing but pain and misery for them.

Elijah didn’t feel worthy to be Eternity’s husband, knowing all the destruction and violence his life had been consumed with for a thousand years. Honestly though, it wasn’t himself he was concerned over. He knew how to control his own beast, how to have some semblance of humanity.

It was Niklaus and his chaotic, impulsive nature that concerned him. So many lovers and friends had suffered because of the hybrid’s violence. What would stop his brother from doing the same to Eternity, should either of them cross Niklaus? What if he tore her from him in some way?

He didn’t know if he could bear it, especially knowing if he parted from her forever, he would die. It wasn’t an exaggeration. That was what would happen, if things went sideways. Elijah simply doubted this one thing that had made him so happy, happier than he had ever known.

“Elijah?”

He stiffened upon hearing her sweet, melodious voice, but didn’t turn around to look at Eternity, who had come quietly into the common room. If he had been paying attention, he would have smelled her floral scent of roses and lilacs, heard her steady heartbeat.

“You have been avoiding me,” she said casually, as she drew a little closer and then stopped still some distance from him. “You haven’t looked at me or spoken to me, let alone embrace or kiss me. We haven’t even slept in the same room. I understand that you needed time to readjust and I gave you space, but it is not readjustment that has you avoiding me. You are troubled. Talk to me. What is going on?”

At first, he didn’t say anything nor did he look at her at any point, and a tense silence fell between them. Finally, he sighed and confessed, “I’ve been having doubts...about us.”

Eternity was ever patient as she asked him, “What doubts are those, my love?”

“You are a creature of life, one meant to bring light and goodness to the world,” Elijah told her, as he stared into the fire. “I am creature of death and my dark world will corrupt and ruin you - ruin our life together.”

“You’ve been through a lot, Elijah,” she replied gently. “Experienced a lot of tragedy, particularly when it came to those who you were dared to get close to. You’ve all been through a lot, actually. Yet, when I look at your family, I do not see this world of darkness you speak of.”

He interjected, “The darkness of this family hides itself well. I’m not worthy of you, not as I am. Not now that my memories are back and that I have been reunited with my family. You’re better off without me. If you stay with me, you'll only know pain and misery.”

“Nonsense. You and I belong together,” she smirked slightly. “I’m not some sort of symbol of purity and innocence nor am I naive. In fact, you and I are not so different. I have just as much blood on my hands as you do, if not more, and I am perfectly aware of your family’s history, bu things are changing, cycles are being broken for your siblings. They are not the same as they once were and the curse that had plagued you all is lifting. I can sense it.”

Elijah remained stubbornly unconvinced. For one thing, he knew his family. Sure things were good now, but happiness and peace were fleeting things for he and his siblings. It was only a matter of time before something happened, before the darkness returned. Then there was His fear of losing her to that darkness. It was so great that he’d rather push her away now instead of letting her stay and lose her more tragically later.

He stared into the fire a moment longer, before he finally turned to look at her with a remorseful expression. He just didn’t believe that happiness was for him. His obligations to his family, to Niklaus, would always trump over his own joy. It would just bring them pain and division, if they stayed together.

Yet, the elegant vampire couldn’t bring himself to tell her that. He was too much of a coward. So, instead, he gazed at her hopeful face briefly, before proceeding to walk past her with the intention of leaving the room.

“Whatever doubts you have, my love, we are bound to each other as one,” called Eternity quickly. “One cannot live without the other. We will always be drawn back together, if we separate. We belong together. I love you, Elijah, always and forever.”

Her words tugged at the Original’s very soul and they gave him pause, bringing him to a stop in the doorway. This was a mistake, he thought. He should just keep walking. He should spare her the grief that was sure to come from loving him, from being loved by him.

However, he realized that no matter what reservations he might have, he couldn’t leave her. His resolve was easily broken, he turned back, striding over to her in a few steps with a determined expression.

He didn’t speak in return.

Elijah simply grabbed Eternity by the back of her neck gently and let his mouth descend upon hers in a rough, demanding kiss. His tongue pried her mouth apart, so that he could thrust it into the wet cavern and taste her throughly. This was his unspoken response to her words. He didn’t want to live without her either, against every ounce of better judgement.

The shimmering woman wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body into him. She reciprocated his attention with vigor, sighing and moaning lightly into their kiss that he controlled. No doubt, she was glad that he had changed his mind, that he wasn’t going to walk away from her.

He was glad too. No matter what doubts he had, he couldn’t deny himself her. She had been everything for seven years and she continued to be so.

In their mutual joy, things quickly spiraled into a mess of heated passion.

Eternity tore her mouth from his and stared at him with lusty eyes. Her already dark, sapphire eyes only grew darker as a result. Her chest heaved and her lips were swollen from his kiss. She looked absolutely wild.

“Take me to bed, Elijah,” she demanded of him breathlessly.

The Original didn’t have to be told twice. He lifted her up into his arms, so that her legs were wrapped securely around his waist and then sped them into his bedroom - their bedroom, he corrected.

Once they were shut up inside, the elegant vampire slammed his wife into the door, pressing her into it with his body, while his mouth latched onto hers again with an unquenchable hunger and his hands wandered over her body teasingly. The entire time, she clung to him, gasping and moaning needfully as she writhed against him deliciously.

Elijah’s mouth descended lower, laying open mouthed kisses to the column of her throat, but only for a moment. His need for her was too great to resist for long. In urgency, the Original lifted Eternity��s dress, bunching them around her hips, and then reached between them to undo his pants. He needed to be inside her - immediately!

However, just as he was reaching between them, his wife pushed him away with great, but gentle strength until he staggered back further into the room. He stared at her in surprise, watching her seductively smirk at him as she sauntered over to him. Simultaneously, she reached behind her to the ribbon that held her dress together and tugged it undone until the material was loose enough to simply fall from her body in a heap.

Eternity’s body was bare beneath it and Elijah couldn’t help but to lick his lips in anticipation of having her naked flesh within his grasp. By the time the flowing garment was gone she was within reach and reach for her he did. He pulled her flush against him with one hand cradling the side of her neck while the other ran down her back beneath her long white hair until it cupped her backside to press her closer still.

He gazed at her hotly, before his mouth resumed claiming her own. While he distracted her with his kiss, the Original maneuvered his wife over to the large bed, where he pushed her down into it with her legs dangling off the side as he stood between them.

The Original quickly shrugged off his suit jacket and tossed it aside, as he admired her pale, slightly glowing flesh. Then he reached to remove his tie and undo the first few buttons of his shirt, before he proceeded to lean over the ethereal beauty, of whom had squirmed needfully under his gaze. He kissed her again. This time, it was slow and sensual, unhurried, while his hand caressed it’s way down her soft form until it came around to touch her intimately between her legs.

Eternity gasped in surprise, tearing her mouth from his to moan loudly into the room, as his fingers caressed the warm, wetness of her center teasingly. Simultaneously, his own mouth moved along her face, across her jaw, and down her throat.

Apparently impatient, the shimmering lady took control. Her impatience was so profound that Elijah found himself not only on his back beneath her, but also as bare of clothing as she was with magic. She straddled him as she held his hands down upon the bed with her own, while they stared at each other desperately.

Then without waiting another second, his wife released one of his hands to reach beneath her, grabbing hold of his hardened length and stroking him tantalizingly. From there, she lined him up with her entrance and sank down upon him slowly until he was fully seated inside her.

Both of them gasped and groaned at the feeling of being joined. Elijah had experienced it many times with Eternity, but every time, it felt absolutely exquisite, as if it was the first time he’d ever experienced the feel of her walls enveloping him so completely. However, the pleasure only grew better as the beauty above him began to move, taking him nearly out of her body, only to sink back down on him over and over again with slow precision that drove him mad.

Wanting to be able to kiss her lips and taste her skin, the impassioned vampire shifted his position, so that he was sitting up on the edge of the bed with her still in his lap. Both his hands were freed with this change and he splayed one of them upon her back, caressing the skin, while the other gripped the back of her neck, so that he could kiss her - and kiss her he did.

His tongue danced in her mouth, moving in time with her hips as she rode him steadily. She moaned into his kiss and gripped him tighter to her, her movements increasing in speed as the pleasure between them climbed higher and higher, causing him to gasp and growl in return.

Elijah released her mouth long enough to smile and breathed against her lips, “I love you, Sweetheart.”

In response, Eternity simply smiled in return and reached to reconnect their mouths, holding him close as their intense lovemaking reached it’s peak and they fell over the edge together. Her walls clamped down on his hardened length, while her movements grew erratic, drawing him to his own end. She cried out, her mouth tearing away from his, and instinct force his vampire visage forward, his fangs latching to the pale expanse of her throat and drinking his fill of her sweet tasting blood. The power within it coursed through his body, warming him, giving him greater strength.

The ethereal beauty’s cries intensified with his feeding on her. Her entire body gripping him tightly, while she quaked until the spasms of her orgasm forced her to fall limp in his arms. When he released her neck, her face fell forward into the crook of his, as she trembled for a few more minutes and then stilled.

They sat there in silence, holding each other as they came down from the euphoria of their lovemaking.

It felt right to be there as they were. Elijah knew nothing but simple peace and joy with his lady in his arms, realizing that had he walked out the door and left her, it would have been a mistake. He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself. They truly did belong together.

Before long, the Original was laying Eternity back against the pillows, while remaining buried inside her. He lay over the lady, gazing at her with adoration as he brushed away the white hair that framed her face and laid gentle kisses to her flushed skin.

“I‘m glad that you’ve seen reason, my love,” Eternity murmured to him with a small playful grin, as she ran her fingers through his hair lazily.

The vampire grinned at her and chuckled, “Me too.”

Then he kissed her lips, gently at first, but it grew more vigorous. Soon, they were moving together again, once more lost to their passion.

As they did, Elijah knew that it was with Eternity, this creature of light, to whom he, a creature of death, belonged - always and forever.

The End

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Tag List: @elejah-wonderland @xanderling @dendrite-lover @missnmikealson @freshsuitcasewinnereagle @inmylifeilovedthemall @lolelijahishot @esclisa @elizamonet

#elijah mikaelson #daniel gillies #original characters #elijah x eternity #elinity #romance #drama #alternate universe #the originals #the originals fanfiction #the vampire diaries #the vampire diaries fanfiction

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nanshe-of-nina · 4 years

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Wizarding Russian Empire and USSR || Sarafian-Kostov family

Zabel Afanasiyevna Sarafian (3 December 1852 – 23 June 1937) Zabel was born in western Georgia on the coast of the Black Sea to a halfblood family. Her father, At’anas Sarafian, was a somewhat prosperous Armenian wizarding merchant. She had one older brother, and three older sisters. At’anas was an extremely conservative and controlling man who was so protective of his daughter's chastity, he didn't even want them to marry on the grounds that no man would be good enough for them.

When she was 16, however, she met secretly met a handsome young Crimean Tatar who called himself Anastas Timurovich Kostov and quickly came to believe that she was madly in love with him. Shortly after, they eloped back to the Crimea together. Her father was enraged when he was and declared that Zabel was dead to him. At some point, at her behest, he converted to the Armenian Apostolic Church (having been raised as a Sunni Muslim) and they married shortly before the birth of the first child, a daughter named Ripsimiya. They then had two sons, Afanasiy and Ivan, in 1872 and 1873. Shortly after the birth of Ivan, Zabel found herself longing even more to see her family again. This longing was increased by the fact that her new husband was not the perfect man of her dreams he’d first appeared: he was uninterested in seeking work, preferring to live off other people as long as possible and she suspected that he was often unfaithful.

In 1874, her father died and she decided to attempt to take her three children with her to attend his funeral, hoping they could reconcile. Things did not go that way. Her mother informed her that her father had died of a broken heart because of her betrayal. Meanwhile, things got even worse when she received word from the Crimea that her husband (whose name at birth was actually Timur Chingizovich Bulatov) had married another woman in Sunni Muslim ceremony. Without any place to go, Zabel had little choice but to remain in Georgia. After six months, her mother and sisters caved and allowed her and her children to live with them. They soon became rather fond of her children, but their relationship with each other remained strained.

Zabel never saw her Bulatov/Kostov again, but received sympathetic letters from his father, Chingiz Arslanovich Bulatov, who denounced his son as a worthless creature she was better off without, but she had best keep their children on a short leash so that they wouldn’t grow up to be like him.

Her youngest son, Hovannes/Ivan, died when he was six and afterwards, she pinned all her hopes on her second-born, Afanaisy (who first began using the surname Kostov in the 1890s), and was determined that he would get a formal education. She managed to get him admitted to Koldovstortez on a scholarship, but he was expelled in 1889, which prompted her brother, Sarkis, to declare that he was taking after his worthless father. Zabel had little contact with her only son afterwards, though she was present for the births of his children in 1903 and 1905. After the death of Selardi Vardanovna Vardanyan in 1906, though, all contact was broken off and she afterwards continued to live with her three sisters, all of whom never married. In 1914, her widowed daughter, Ripsimiya, was crippled for life after a fall from a broomstick and returned home to their mostly wizarding village.

Zabel, Ashkhen, and Ripsimiya were all moved into a comfortable home in Batumi in 1922 at the behest of Kostov, shortly after he’d reunited with his first two children, Avdotya and Ivan. Previously, during the Civil War, Zabel also convinced her son to marry Lyudmila Konvalinkova, a half-Czech, half-Russian witch he’d had a daughter, Yuliya, by in 1914, after Lyudmila and Anfisa Zoranovna Krupina asked for her to intercede with her son.

In the 1930s, she became extremely fond of both of the Aslanyan sisters, Anahit and Nane, and their brood of children. In her memoirs, Nane Aslanyan’s stepdaughter, Valentina Vyalitsyna, recalled Zabel as a mischievous and clever old woman with a fondness for love songs and dirty jokes who clearly deeply loved and missed her only son.

Ripsimiya Anastasovna Sarafian (25 February 1870 – 9 October 1944) The eldest of the three children of Anastas Kostov and Zabel Sarafian, Ripsimiya was raised in a mostly wizarding village on the coast of the Black Sea in Georgia by her mother, three aunts, and maternal grandmother after her father abandoned their family. The youngest child, Hovhaness (or Ivan in Russian) died of an illness when he was six-years-old. Because their family were able to afford Koldovstortez’s fees for only one child, she was educated at home. As a child, she was very close to her younger brother, even though she somewhat resented that their mother constantly favored him. Because of her strong dislike of her father, she used her mother’s surname, Sarafian, all her life.

She was a self-taught herbalist as well as a midwife for local witches, having becoming the apprentice of Barbale Maisuradze, the mother of Armazi Vashadze, in 1887. Long misidentified as a spinster, Ripsimiya actually married a half-Armenian, half-Georgian squib named Sanasar Haykovich Mirzoyan in 1889, who was also the older brother of the notorious revolutionary terrorist, Baghdasar Haykovich Mirzoyan. How this misconception arose isn’t clear; either Kostov himself mislead people or it was the result of assumptions made by British historians.

After Kostov and Baghdasar were expelled from Koldovstortez in 1889, they briefly lived with Ripsimiya and her husband in Batumi while becoming involved in revolutionary activities, but were forced to flee in 1890, after the Storozhey raided their home. In September, she gave birth to a stillbirth daughter, which she blamed on the Storozhey for falsely prosecuting on her “innocent” brother and brother-in-law. Over the next thirteen years, she had four miscarriages, three more stillbirths, and her only living child, a son named Sarkis, died at the age of 3 in 1895. Despite their sadness over their lack of children, Sanasar and Ripsimiya’s marriage was still nevertheless an extremely happy, loving, and passionate one.

In 1903, she and her mother received an owl from Kostov informing them that he’d gotten married and his new wife was pregnant. Zabel was simply delighted, but privately wondered what kind of husband her son would make, while Ripsimiya was insulted that he hadn't bothered to write before. Nevertheless, as a midwife, she helped deliver her new niece on 1 May 1903. Kostov was only able to return to Georgia in March and left to go into exile (though he was vague about where) with his wife and daughter. Selardi and her daughter later returned to Georgia in November 1904 after finding out that she was pregnant again, because she wanted have Ripsimiya deliver the child. Selardi gave birth to another child, a sickly son named Ivan, in February 1905. Around the same time, Sanasar, who was in Baku with Kostov and Baghdasar, was one of the many who murdered in the anti-Armenian riots. Ripsimiya was distraught by his death and refused to ever marry again. Until the day she died, she dressed in black and wore a locket with a lock of her dead husband’s hair in it. Because of her husband's murder, she thereafter developed a lifelong grudge against Azeris.

But worse was yet to come. In August 1906, young Ivan fell gravely ill and it seemed likely that he would most likely die and Selardi became sick with grief. She prayed all night to ask God to spare her son. It seems as if her prayers were answered, because Ivan recovered, but his mother then sickened and looked to be at death’s door. Ripsimiya sent word to her brother, who rushed back to Georgia, only for Selardi to die the following day on 23 September 1906. Kostov was grief-stricken. Two days after Selardi's funeral, Ripsimiya tried to comfort him, because she understood the pain of losing a beloved spouse, but rebuffed her, insisting that she couldn't understand and acted sulkily when she reminded him that he had two children to remember Selardi by. The conversation turned into an argument when he made it clear that he was planning to leave again. She accused him of being exactly like their father and reminded him that she had also lost her spouse, which he might have remembered if he wasn’t so self-obsessed. Kostov said nothing in response and began packing a bag and left. In hindsight, that was the end of their good relationship.

Kostov never forgot what she said to him and held against her for the rest of her life. Meanwhile, the Vardanyans begged Zabel, Ripsimiya, and the aunts to allow them to raise the two children, as they were all they had left of Selardi. The Sarafian women agreed, but visited them often.

Revolution During and after the Revolution, Ripsimiya continued to live with her mother in the Caucasus and played no role in her brother’s rise to power. By this point, she was an invalid as a result of numerous pregnancies in quick succession and an ill-timed fall in her early forties. Secretly, she wrote often to her sister-in-law, Lyudmila, and her nephew, Ivan, and sympathized over their repeated clashes with her brother and asked them to visit her if they needed to get away.

However, she may have been indirectly and partially responsible for the probable assassination of her former brother-in-law, Baghdasar Mirzoyan, in 1923 on her brother’s orders. In addition to behaving increasingly erratically, in 1921, Mirzoyan had boasted while drunk, that he’d regularly “comforted” the widowed Ripsimiya between 1906 and 1907. Whether he was telling the truth is unknown, but such gossip circulating did nothing to improve Kostov’s already strained relationship with his sister.

She played a direct role in role in politics only once, when Armazi Vashadze begged her in 1930, to intercede with her brother to pardon Ripsimiya Sarkisovna Nazarian, his sister-in-law and her namesake (as she had delivered Nazarian in 1891). Though generally uninterested in politics, she agreed to try for once, while also writing to Nazarian and advising her to grovel. Whether or not her plea and advice had any effect is unknown, but Nazarian was indeed temporarily forgiven in 1933.

In 1932, her sister-in-law and her brother’s children all visited her and Zabel in Georgia. Lyudmila also took two of her sisters and their children along for the visit. In her memoirs, Vlasta Ilyinichna Andropova, daughter of Dragomira Konvalinkova, vividly recalled Zabel and Ripsimiya. She said Zabel was extremely kind and friendly to everyone, even though she had trouble talking to them, because she was only spoke Armenian and Georgian, and insisted on giving all the children presents. Ripsimiya, on the other hand, was a dour, gloomy, and boring woman whose conversation was limited to three topics: religion, illness, and death.

After Lyudmila’s death, Kostov asked her to come to Lysaya Gora to care for his three teenage daughters. She refused, saying that she didn't like the climate and couldn’t leave their mother, but he could send his girls to come live with them instead. He didn’t like the idea, though, and instead let the subject drop. After her mother’s death in June 1937, she was joined by her nieces, Avdotya and Zoya, after Zoya’s husband, Vardan, and his family were all arrested on her father’s orders. Like her nieces, Ripsimiya was stunned at this development, but didn’t even bother to question her brother about it, as she knew she'd get no answer.

Death In the middle of 1942, Ripsimiya fell seriously ill and her condition worsened throughout 1943. When it became clear she was dying, Avdotya asked her aunt if she wanted to send for her brother. She refused, saying, “Don’t bother. There’s been no love between us for thirty years or more and what's the use pretending now?”

She finally died 9 October 1944, with three of her nieces at her side, and was buried without fanfare. Avdotya tactfully changed her aunt’s last bitter statement into a wish not to bother her brother, but she and her sister later admitted the truth in the 1960s, after their father’s death.

#wizarding russia #harry potter worldbuilding #hpedit #harry potter #nanshe's graphics #zabel sarafian #ripsimiya sarafian

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tyzhar-blog · 4 years

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What Dreams May Come

Movie Summary

The movie is about two soulmates who fall in love and start a family together. One morning they tragically lose their children in a car accident. While mourning their children’s deaths, the wife (Annie Collins-Nielsen) and the husband (Chris Nielsen) grow apart from one another but then eventually find their way back to each other. While finally being able to carry on with their lives, Chris dies tragically in an accident while trying to save someone who was on the side of the road after being hit. As this story goes on, this is too much for Annie to handle after just recently recovering from the death of her children. After attempting to mourn and grief now her deceased husband, Annie’s wife decides to take her life. Chris, while being in what looks like the afterlife finds out that his beloved wife and is told he will not be able to see her because she committed suicide instead of dying naturally. Not willing to accept this, Chris overcomes barriers to get his wife back from what they consider “hell” back to “heaven” where he reunites his whole family.

Authentic: Agree

The major mental illness portrayed in this movie, in my opinion, would be the Major Depressive Disorder. Just like any parent, Annie is distraught that she had to bury her children, which is something no parent wants to endure. To add on to that feeling, Annie is filled with guilt and feels that she is to be blamed for the loss of her children. She has feelings of regret that she was not able to do anything to protect her children and she should have been the one to take her children to school the day of the accident instead of having to go to work.

According to the DSM-5, Annie portrayed more than half of the symptoms that are associated with Major Depressive Disorder. Although the movie was constantly in and out of the present and the past, we see that Annie experiences depressed moods(feelings of hopelessness) and mood swings including irritability that last days and weeks at a time. We also see that she has experienced a loss of pleasure in her activities including her art-making which she loved to do and was doing this for a living. Annie would sell beautiful artwork at a museum. Along with losing her pleasure for art, we can see that even when she is attempting to paint she has difficulty concentrating which another symptom of the disorder. To continue, Annie is also overwhelmed with feelings of guilt in comparison to her husband and questions why Chris is able to live and move on unlike her. Following these actions, she is admitted to a mental institution for her protection and to help her cope with the loss of her children. Some minor things that are also shown in the movie are her weight loss that may not be as obvious but can be noticed throughout her majorly depressive episodes. There is also an increase in substance abuse like her cigarettes and later she engages in substance abuse towards her prescribed medication. The last symptom we see that is the root of the movie is the recurrent thought of death and a suicide attempt because she attempts this while mourning her children then is successful after her husband dies.

Although Annie portrayed many of the symptoms but did not portray other major symptoms that may be associated with depression. The symptoms that we did not see in the movie include insomnia, psychomotor agitation or retardation, and although we see how she has lost weight we do not see in the movie that she has a loss of appetite and can only presume this is the reason for her weight loss. Due to a lack of some symptoms in the disorder during the movie, I chose to agree over strongly agree for the rating.

Attractive: Disagree

I will determine whether Annie portrayed positive personality traits in the film while living with a mental illness to rate attractiveness for the mental disorder portrayed in the movie.

During the film, there were occasional flashbacks on how she did while her time in the psych ward where she was very emotional and would have trouble coming out of her depression. She seemed angry at herself for the death of her children. Annie also at times seemed to be envious of her husband because he seemed to deal with grief better than she did. She was very emotional, anxious, and just struggling during the film to find the strength to overcome her depression.

The movie did not represent positive personality traits for someone living with a mental illness. I rated this under disagree instead of strongly disagree because there was one major scene prior to her husband dying that we see after he calms her down the love and happiness in her face that she has with her husband. There were far more scenes that did not show positive personality traits compared to the one major scene with her husband prior to his death.

Friendly: Strongly Agree

For this rating, I will focus on the relationships Annie had with Chris throughout the movie. I found it rather difficult for me to rate this.

Chris, her husband was trying to be strong in his own way and was not able to grief as much as she was. We see they are beginning to have issues in the relationship however, he still visits her while she is in the hospital. Then after seeing they are having trouble he believes that she is still not able to properly grief while he is still with her. Although he does not want to, he lets her know if she feels the need to go through the divorce he would do that because he believes that it may be what she needs. We see that they do not go through with the divorce and end up getting back together where he is able to be her biggest support.

In the film right before Chris dies we see that Annie is having an episode where she is stressed out at work and Chris calms her down and walks her through the dilemma. This was a perfect example of how supportive he is with her. Despite all the issues they went through he was always concerned for her and for this reason I believe the rating should be strongly agreed.

Hopeful: Strongly Disagree

For this rating, I will focus on showing a positive outcome for the character living with a mental illness.

Although technically, in the end, Annie is reunited with her family, they did not show a positive outcome for the character living with the illness. The movie showed that the only way she was happy again was finally being reunited with her family which was ultimately death. This does not give hope for someone living with something such as Major Depressive Disorder and for that reason I believe this deserves a strongly disagree.

Helpful: Neither Agree Nor Disagree

 The criteria used for this rating was if the mental health professional and ethical. There was not a mental health professional shown in the film.

We are aware that she is attending a mental institution and when she is coping with her losing her husband she briefly talks about her therapist or psychiatrist. But in her journal, she mentions that she did not feel he helped and the only person that helped her through the trauma was her husband. We also see that she takes medications so she may have diagnosed some medication.

We are only given Annie’s perspective and not the mental health professional. There was not enough information about the mental health professional to determine if the mental health professional was

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Washington, DC:

Lieber, A. (n.d) Major Depression. Retrieved from https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.major.html (Links to an external site.)

(Links to an external site.) (Links to an external site.)

Plett, C. (n.d) Mourning in Marriage after the loss of a child. Retrieved from https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/mourning-in-marriage-after-the-loss-of-a-child (Links to an external site.)

(Links to an external site.) (Links to an external site.)

Sasson, I. & Umberson, D. J. (2013 June 28) Widowhood and depression: new light on gender differences, selection, and psychological adjustment. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3894126/ (Links to an external site.)

(Links to an external site.)

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gentleladyaims · 5 years

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The Farewell: An In-Depth Reflection

I was not emotionally prepared to watch this movie- I packed some tissues in my purse as always (as I am apt to shed tears over most movies- I just get super emotional!), but it was nowhere near enough. I was literally biting my tongue and trying not to sob out loud and looked like a wet blob in the theatre with tears streaming down my face!! My husband was like "Honey, are you okay?? Let me give you a hug!!"

As a young Chinese-American woman, I’ve never watched a movie that hit so close to home and felt so… relevant? I feel so seen and acknowledged seeing this story play out on the big screen. Fsor a Chinese-American woman like Lulu Wang to direct the movie I grew up in Beijing with my grandparents; my parents came to the U.S. right after I was born when my dad got an amazing scholarship to Duke. As a result, I’m super close with my grandparents and they basically raised me and instilled in me the morals/values I have today. I came to the U.S. for the first time when I was three (briefly), then permanently moved to the States when I was six. It was jarring, an entirely new environment, having to learn a foreign language, leaving the comforts of my home behind. Thankfully, my grandma came with us to leave for awhile, but my grandpa stayed back in Beijing. I missed him so much every single day. As I grew up, I’d visit my grandparents back in Beijing almost every single summer and spend my entire vacation with them. I cherish those moments so much.

All the little details in “The Farewell” are so genuine and realistic to how Chinese culture actually is. Of course, no movie is representative of everyone’s experience, however, many facets of it were reflective of my own life.

How Billi's mom seems to be very critical of her life decisions, especially regarding her career, and being snarky/making fun of Billi for pursuing an artistic path with writing. How Nai Nai is so affectionate with Billi (the opening scene when they're on the phone and she asks Billi how the weather is and if Billi's wearing a hat etc is soo hilarious and true!! My grandma always asks that and tells me "Bundle up, don't get a cold now!") and makes the funny comments about her round butt. Even the little nuance of her commenting on Billi's weight and how she doesn't seem to have lost much weight, in comparison with what Billi's mom said (a lot of Chinese people/family always seem to make unsolicited comments about people's figures/weight and just will straight up say "you're fat!" or "OMG you're too skinny!!" it's a hard dichotomy to walk and it seems no one is happy either way). When Billi gets to the hotel and the hotel clerk is asking her which is better, China or America? *Literally* I get asked that question every. single. time. and my response is the same as Billi's- "It's different!" It's like comparing bananas and chicken. Both have their pros and cons, but it seems like they're always expecting you to say one or the other. Some of my relatives definitely idealise the West/America and seem to think everyone in the U.S. is: rich, blond, gorgeous like a movie star, and happy.

The family style meals and the food!! Sooo realistic. Also how Mr. Li pours the boiling water for Nai Nai's hot water soak for her feet. I want to make a note that even the fashion/style is pretty accurate too- my grandpa totally wore the same tank top and high-waisted pants and slippers like Mr. Li, haha. Watching this movie gave me such a feeling of familiarity and belonging, like "wow, someone actually knows how it feels to be in a Chinese family and can identify with these things!!" I cried so hard when Billi had her big breakthrough moment with her mom, confessing that she never felt like she was good enough/that it was hard for her to adjust to life in America. That she felt home with her grandparents. The way her dad asks her questions like "how's your job? do you have enough money?" and little things about her daily life and Billi just brushes him off and says everything's fine. I feel that hardcore because especially when I was younger, I'd just say everything's fine to my parents as to not worry them. Why mention it if they're just going to be fearful/scared/worried/anxious? I'm learning to be more honest and open now- working on developing better communication skills is a major theme in my family (between my mom and dad too).

The comparisons between the East and the West also felt true to life. How Billi's uncle mentions the West values individualism whereas the East values community/the family unit more. I often feel struggles within myself about wanting to be a good daughter and be obedient to my parents versus my own desires and pursuing things I would like, even though it may not be things my parents want for me. I've learned that being a good daughter doesn't always equate to doing what my parents want. I've had to learn to fight for and seek out my independence and find my own self-identity, not just what my family thinks I should be/should do. I feel like in Chinese culture, the elders' opinions are always respected and thought of highly- my mom says "I've crossed these paths of life before, I have more experience/knowledge than you, I know best- just trust me." And it's like... "Yes Mom, sure that may be true, but also I need to make my own decision? And just because you've had a certain experience, doesn't mean it's true for my current life situation?" I'm also careful to tell my parents that I always respect their input, but that just because I don't follow their advice, doesn't mean I don't love them or value their opinion!!! It's been a tough thing for them (more so my mom) to grasp, but I'm glad I'm doing it, despite it being challenging.

The parts of the movie that hit me the most are Billi's moments with her grandma. And also how she has to process this huge emotional burden and her grief. I share a somewhat similar experience, but am SO happy that my grandparents didn't choose to hide anything from me. I don't know if I could've forgiven them if they did... who knows? I found out during my junior year of college that my grandpa had late-stage lymphoma. It had already progressed into his bone marrow and he was in a lot of pain- it also affect some of his mental function and cognition, unfortunately. My parents and I booked tickets right away to see him in Beijing. It was so hard to try and be positive in front of my grandma and not just cry all the time. We were reunited under the worst of circumstances- but at least we could be open about our struggles and endure it together. I couldn't imagine if it was a huge secret and I had to bear it like Billi did. The ending where Billi has to say goodbye to her grandma hit me so hard- like that is literally me every time I have to bid farewell to my Lao Lao. I try to hold in the tears until I get to the taxi and then I just break down. Even though my grandma doesn't have a terminal illness, it's just... the trip between the U.S. and China is a long and arduous one and it's hard being so far away from family, separated by miles and miles and oceans.

My heart ached for my grandpa after watching the movie. When Nai Nai was standing at her husband's grave and lamenting how he passed too soon... that's exactly what my grandma says. She's sad that my grandpa didn't get to see me graduate college, get married, get a job, etc. I will always miss my grandpa, but it's comforting to know that I got to spend my time with him at the end and that we were together, as a family.

Did anyone else feel a particular pull to this movie?? I'd love to hear thoughts, comments, etc!!

#The Farewell #movies #personal #Awkwafina

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traincat · 5 years

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I know you've already sort of discussed this but could you please explain the marvel 2 in 1 ending... what I'm getting is that the gist of it is that Reed and Sue are just like 'lol whoops I guess we sorta forgot about u'... which is really kinda anticlimactic and abrupt. Did I read it wrong or something? All that build up and angst just for it to go down the drain... is there something more to it that I'm missing that you know of?

I can explain it, but the answer’s not going to satisfy you, because it doesn’t satisfy me. Long story short: there were implications there was something more to the story than Marvel Two-In-One’s final two issues said, but Fantastic Four hasn’t followed up on that like, at all, and shows no signs that they’re going to anytime soon.

In the interests of putting all of the pieces together, I’m going to lay out everything that happened between the cancellation of the Fantastic Four title and now, because there are a lot of fuzzy periods. The Fantastic Four disappeared from the Marvel universe and from the shelves back in 2015, following Jonathan Hickman’s Secret Wars event. In Secret Wars, the multiverse has been destroyed and cobbled back together into Battleworld, a realm where Doctor Doom rules as god king, with Sue as his wife, Ben transformed into a huge wall, and Johnny as Battleworld’s artificial sun. It’s a real fractured fairy tale. At the end of Secret Wars, Reed defeats Doom and reunites his family. Using Franklin’s mutant ability to create entire universes and the Molecule Man’s powers, Reed, Sue, and the children of the Future Foundation set out to recreate the multiverse. Ben and Johnny are sent back to their own Earth with comment that “their stories aren’t done yet.” Doom is also sent back with his scarred face restored.

The cancellation of the Fantastic Four at this point heralds the first time Marvel had been without a Fantastic Four book on the shelves since 1961. We know – partially because it was painfully obvious, and partially because Jonathan Hickman spilled the beans – that the Fantastic Four comics were cancelled because of a film rights dispute; aka, Marvel Studios and Disney didn’t have the film rights, and Ike Perlmutter threw a fit about it. Instead of doing their best to put out a good book that would draw in comics audiences, Marvel instead cancelled Fantastic Four, citing low readership. Marvel has denied this, but the truth is pretty obvious, especially with how the Fantastic Four’s return to comics just so happened to coincide exactly with when it became extremely clear that the Disney-Fox merger was going through. So right from the start we had this very inorganic reason as to why the Fantastic Four were hung up. Reed, Sue, and the kids were retired out of universe under the excuse that they were rebuilding the multiverse – which, to be fair, does work as a pretty good excuse. Johnny and Ben, on the hand, were kept in-universe and distributed to other properties, probably because of Ben – who, let’s be honest, is the most popular of the Fantastic Four and the moneymaker here – and because it made more sense to keep Johnny and Ben than just Ben.

Immediately post-Secret Wars, there was an eight month (iirc) timeskip in the main Marvel universe, meaning that books that picked up after the events of Secret Wars picked up significantly after it; we see very little of the Secret Wars fallout. Here’s what we do know concerning the Fantastic Four: Reed, Sue, and the kids were largely believed to be dead, although Johnny in particular initially refused to believe that. Sometime during this timeskip, Johnny and Ben had some kind of fight. We don’t know what it was about. Honestly, at this point, we’re unlikely to ever know what it was about. Whatever it was, it was bad enough that Ben and Johnny severed all communication and Ben left the planet to join the Guardians of the Galaxy. What followed was the longest separation between Ben and Johnny that we’ve ever seen in canon. Johnny and Ben are famous for squabbling, but their fights rarely last longer than a few days at most; they’re extremely close, to the point that when Ben was presumed dead, Johnny’s coping mechanism mirrored Ben’s long time love and current wife Alicia’s. This post-Secret Wars separation between them lasted longer than when Ben thought Johnny had gotten together with said longtime love Alicia (it was a Skrull in disguise, but nobody would know that for like 80 issues). This separation between them is completely unprecedented, and like I said, we have no idea what caused it.

This scene from Infamous Iron Man #9 is the closest I’ve gotten to determining a root of the fight – note Johnny says “my family”, all handily bolded for emphasis. Not “our family”, “my family.” Ben is the only member of the Fantastic Four not related by either marriage or blood to any of the others, which has been a very occasional sore spot in the past. But even this scene doesn’t quite make sense – it’s hard to imagine Ben and Johnny having a months long separation over this alone, and to make matters more confusing, before Infamous Iron Man #9, Johnny had tried to get in contact with Ben only to be rebuffed. In Infamous Iron Man #9, Ben gets in contact with Johnny only for Johnny to practically run away from him. Already the new dynamic here feels like it needed more attention in the narrative than it actually got.

I think part of the problem with this whole return of the Fantastic Four storyline – the actual return especially, but even the lead-up – is that it was never established what was keeping Reed and Sue from coming back. On top of that, if they had the power to send Johnny and Ben back, why weren’t they able to send them back with some sort of memory or guarantee that Reed, Sue, and the kids were okay? It would have been very easy to say “well, a supervillain did it!” You know, the easiest comic book plot excuse of all time. But they didn’t do that. And that creates a problem when it’s a well-established fact that Johnny in particular tends to fall into a deep depression and displays signs of self-harm when the team isn’t together. (Fantastic Four #191-193, Robinson’s Fantastic Four run, Ben’s death in Waid’s run.) Which is exactly what happened this time, too, both during the timeskip and in the lead-up to Marvel Two-In-One (2017).

Marvel Two-In-One (2017) was essentially the test run for the return of the Fantastic Four. The original Two-In-One was to Ben Grimm what Marvel Team Up was to Peter Parker: essentially a team up book that revolved around one character. So it made sense to relaunch it starring Ben and Johnny. In Two-In-One, Ben discovers Johnny at the end of his rope, pulling life-threatening stunts in his grief and depression, and, willed a multidimensional travel device by Reed, decides to – to the best of his knowledge at the time – lie to Johnny and say that Reed and Sue might still be alive. Learning that they’re both losing their powers and will continue to do so unless they’re reunited with Reed and Sue, as their powers depend on the four of them being in the same universe (an interesting concept, though not one we’ve seen before), Ben and Johnny set off, with a worryingly helpful Doctor Doom on their heels, on a multiversal roadtrip to find their family – one Ben thinks will fail from the start because, as far as he knows, Reed and Sue are dead. It’s a really good concept, and a great concept that starts to fall apart as soon as the notion that Reed and Sue aren’t dead starts to float to the surface. In Two-In-One #9, stranded powerless with Ben in the desert in another universe and facing death, Sue appears to Johnny.

(Marvel Two-In-One #10) This brief contact is apparently enough to reignite Ben and Johnny’s powers to full strength. Sue says that her and Reed’s powers were gone, which does seem to track with the plot – except Johnny and Ben lost their powers over a prolonged period of time, not all at once. If Reed had realized he and Sue were losing their powers, he should have come to that conclusion far before this point in time. You can say the times don’t add up because different universes (which the “you haven’t met the Zaklons yet” line would seem to imply), but with no explanation about how Sue was able to contact Johnny – however briefly – at this point, it does make it seem like Reed and Sue could’ve made contact with Ben and Johnny at any point… and simply chose, for whatever reason, not to. Which is, ultimately, the story Two-In-One goes with.

(Marvel Two-In-One #11) In the very next issue, Reed’s reasoning for why they didn’t take Ben and Johnny with them is that… they would’ve been bored by the science aspect of it all. Which is, I’m going to go ahead say, very out of character and not in the spirit of the Fantastic Four. They’re explorers, and they explore together. This seems like a weirdly brusque excuse to write off the absence so they can get back to the status quo as quickly as possible, using Reed’s science-obsessed image to make him the fall guy. Additionally, in this issue (which I have to say, I overall like – I wrote a whole Doom/Reed fic based off of it), Reed also offers another reason why the world had to believe he and Sue were dead:

In Marvel Two-In-One #11, Reed and Ben visit an alternate universe Doom who exists in a universe where his own Reed is dead. This Doom is a pretty okay dude at the moment – in fact, he and Reed had become, through Reed’s private multiversal travel, close friends. Using this (pretty flawed) logic of “Reed dead = Doom good??”, Reed deduced that if his own Doom thought Reed was dead, he… too would be good? Look, I don’t hate this. I’m a big Doom/Reed fan and the whole thing is pretty shippy and it also depends on Reed having an enormous attachment to Doom and an enormous desire for his own Doom to be like this other Doom, who is his friend. But as far as “why did Reed and Sue stay away as long as they did” explanations go, “Reed was kind of bonkers in love with Doom” is not the direction I expected things to go. Besides, it doesn’t really work, and it doesn’t really work for one big reason: Fantastic Four (2018) #1, the actual return of the Fantastic Four, was published before this, and Fantastic Four (2018) #1 implies a hugely different story.

Fantastic Four (2018) #1 sees Johnny and Ben returned to their home universe after the events of Marvel Two-In-One #10. The reader has no idea how they got there or what they’ve been doing since they got back, or even how long it’s been since they’ve been back. Despite the Sue sighting, at the very end of the issue, Johnny becomes convinced all over again that Reed and Sue are dead, up until…

(Fantastic Four v6 #1) The staging here is important – Reed and Sue’s battle-ripped uniforms, and the cryptic lines between them, like Sue’s “what you plan to do… seems impossible.” This is compounded by dialogue between Franklin and Val in the next Fantastic Four issue:

“You think you can boost that signal enough… to reach Earth?” “Home? I’m good, but there’s no way I’m that good.” This would definitely seem to imply that, for some reason, Reed, Sue, and the kids can’t contact their home universe, or Ben and Johnny at all. I’m admittedly biased in favor of this version: the more time went by without Reed and Sue contacting Johnny and Ben and leaving them on their own, the more obvious it became that this was the best solution, to create some comic book reason why Reed and Sue simply couldn’t return home. But Fantastic Four (2018) #3 and #4 never really explore this more, and the subject gets dropped altogether, which makes for a very unsatisfying read. The Fantastic Four simply return home together and, some frankly too quickly brushed off anger and resentment from Johnny in Marvel Two-in-One’s closing issue aside, this gets swept under the rug in favor of the Fantastic Four just being back now! Hurrah! Pay no attention to the film rights hungry Mouse behind the curtain!

If I wanted to, I could make the explanations presented in Fantastic Four (2018) and Marvel Two-in-One (2017) mesh – Reed has massive guilt issues stemming back to the accident that granted the Fantastic Four his powers. He has a bad habit of taking responsibility that isn’t necessarily his, and of not being 100% truthful in situations because he feels it’s for the best for everyone. (The massive amount of time he takes to reveal his powers are failing during Fraction’s Fantastic Four run, or in the two instances during Waid’s run where Reed uses cruel words to distract both Ben and Sue from his plans to sacrifice himself for them.) Reed might have chosen to take the blame on himself – come up with a story he knows will anger Ben, say that he thought he and Johnny would have been bored, because he felt it was somehow easier than admitting that he and Sue found themselves in some kind of situation where they simply couldn’t get back, and couldn’t contact Ben or Johnny. It’s a way of taking 100% of the blame on himself, which would be a very Reed thing to do. But that would be me doing the book’s work for it; this is absolutely not established within the actual canon as of the time of my writing this.

Honestly, I don’t think we’re likely to see this explored more any time imminently – the Fantastic Four were banished from the stands because of film rights. They came back because for three years dedicated fans asked where the Fantastic Four were, yes, but also because of those same film rights. Now that they’re back, there seems to be this huge rush to pretend it never happened: the Four are back together, and that’s that. It’s very unsatisfying, but it’s clear Marvel cared more about pushing the Fantastic Four back together as quickly as possible than writing a coherent, satisfying story that put together all the pieces of their in-universe disappearance.

#foil-in-a-thunderstorm #*replies #traincat talks comics #long post/

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pinknerdpanda · 5 years

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Clarence Returns

Word Count: 1791 Characters: Castiel x Reader Warnings: Flangst - more fluff than angst, but it’s there. Betas: @wheresthekillswitch & @hannahindie Requested by: @musiclovinchic93 - kinda. I know this isn’t the exact direction you’d probably intended it to go, but it’s where the story went for me.

A/N: This is a continuation of a Drabble I wrote last year called Clarence that I would suggest you read before this, however it can be read as a standalone. Though Clarence is one of my favorite things I’ve written...so...ya know. You do you.

Clarence Returns

“Look, Daddy. Teacher says, every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.”

I sigh, wistful and teary eyed as the last seconds of my favorite Christmas movie play out across the screen. Christmas has always been a season of magic and love, but for some reason this year, I just haven’t been feeling it. Watching George Bailey reunite with his family and learn the value of life has helped, but I’m still feeling somewhat hollow.

This year has been rough - too much loss and grief, not just for me, but all over the world. The world feels so lost and broken and I guess that’s about how I feel, too.

“That's right, that's right. Attaboy, Clarence.”

My thoughts reel back to this time last year, meeting my very own Clarence on a frigid sidewalk downtown. He’d seemed that way too - lost and broken. But even as we’d stood gazing at shop windows, talking and admiring their displays, there was a warmth to him; as though, despite his downtrodden state, he was still hopeful.

We’d spent the next hour down the street, discussing everything and nothing while enjoying a cup of coffee in an otherwise empty diner. I’ve thought of Clarence often in the months since that cold night. I wish there was more I could have done or something better I could have said, but what’s done is done now. I only hope that wherever he is now, that he’s safe and he’s warm.

“Take care, Clarence. Hope you’re ok, buddy,” I murmur aloud, drawing a judging look from my cat, Shadow, across the room.

I groan, flipping the soft, fuzzy blanket from my lap and ambling to my feet. I stretch, sticking my tongue out at my feline companion.

“Alright, you. It’s time for bed.”

I unplug the Christmas tree lights and fold my blanket, tossing it on the back of the couch. Shadow stretches too, her claws peeking out briefly before retracting again. She follows me as I pad to the kitchen, filling her food dish and getting a glass of water.

I yawn, turning to head to my room when there’s a knock at the door. Pausing, I frown, glancing at my watch and noting the late hour. Shadow meows a warning as I slink quietly to the front door. There’s no harm in checking to see who’s at my door; that’s what peepholes are for, right?

Sucking in a breath, I stand up on tippy-toes and peer through the small hole. It’s a man. His head is down as though he’s inspecting his shoes, so I can only make out his dark, slightly messy hair and what appears to be a tan coat. He knocks again, gently, this time looking up and I gasp. It’s been a while, but I recognize those wide, sapphire eyes immediately. Clarence.

I probably should have been worried that this man - this stranger - knows where I live and that he’s at my doorstep at such a late hour. However, there’s an inexplicable wave of relief that washes over me as I gaze at him from behind the door. Shadow brushes against my legs, meowing again.

Undoing the locks, I turn the handle, my stomach leaping into my chest as our eyes meet.

“Hello, y/n.” His voice is as low and rich as I remember. He looks as though his hardship from a year ago is but a distant memory. He’s wearing a suit and tie under a trenchcoat and his face is clean shaven.

“Clarence,” I nearly whisper.

“I apologize for my presence at such a late hour,” he almost blushes, pressing his lips together.

“What are you doing here?”

“I, um,” he looks away, shoving his hands in his pockets, “it’s difficult to explain. Would it be inappropriate to ask if I could come in?”

Shadow meows again and I glance down to see her brushing against his legs. I smile, stepping back and ushering him in. If she trusts him, he can’t be all bad. Right?

We make our way to the living room and he sits across from me, placing his elbows on his knees. He smiles, his gaze lingering on the now darkened tree. I wish I hadn’t unplugged it. It would have been magical to see the twinkling lights reflected in his eyes.

“You are disappointed,” he says without question. I look up to find him studying me carefully.

“No,” I lie, “I’m just so surprised to see you. I was, uh,” I hedge awkwardly, “just thinking about you actually.” I snort at my own candid admission, looking away.

“I know.”

I blink a few times, the silence washing over me until his words really click. What the hell?

“Wait. What?” I gape at him uncertainly.

He frowns, his eyebrows creasing in consideration.

“Y/n, my name is not Clarence.” He pauses, opening his mouth to speak but pausing again. There’s some sort of inner battle being waged here, and though I want to press him for information, I wait, letting him work his way through whatever this is.

After a few more seconds, he speaks again. “My name is Castiel.”

“Ok.” I bite my bottom lip. “Why did you tell me your name was Clarence? How did you find me?”

“I heard your prayer.” His eyes are large and round as he stares at me, expectantly. When I merely blink at him, he continues. “You prayed to me earlier, in a way. I heard you.”

Now it’s my turn to open and close my mouth a few times like a damn fish. I didn’t...pray? Did I?

“How about we start over again? My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord.”

At this point, I’m almost positive I’ll start growing gills, right? I don’t know what to say, but my mouth hasn’t gotten the memo yet, so it keeps trying to do its thing. Finally I manage to spit out one word.

“Angel?”

He smiles sadly, his gaze dropping to the floor again. “Yes. Angel.”

“Angels aren’t real,” I snort incredulously. “What the hell kind of game are you playing here, buddy?”

“I can assure you I am not playing any sort of game. And yes, we are.”

I stand, confusion, exhaustion and disappointment building to a crescendo. “I think you need to leave.”

He tips his head to one side, his face full of sadness and regret.

“I don’t wish to cause you any sort of harm or grief. I just heard you earlier, telling me to take care,” his words are bathed in sincerity. “I realized I’d never been able to thank you for the kindness you showed me last year. When I heard your prayer, I wanted to let you know how much that night meant to me and apologize for not having done so before.”

“Angels have wings and harps,” I sigh, exasperated. “If you’re an angel, why were you living on the street last year?”

That last bit struck a chord, I’m afraid. He looks so sad and lost and I wish I could take it back.

“I’m sorry, I just,” I plop back down on the couch. “I don’t understand.”

“I’ve seen the rise and fall of more nations than you can comprehend. I observed in silent reverence as humankind grew from single-celled, innocuous beings into the masters of technology and intellect you are today. All that time, I’d always watched from a place of detached piety, assuming humans’ needs to be negligible casualties of man’s fall from grace. But then we fell - the angels, my brothers and sisters - we all fell from heaven. My own grace was ripped away from me and I was forced to face the reality of human need in a way I’d never considered before. I’d never experienced lack on any plane of existence, and yet there I was, lacking in every way possible.”

I hold my breath as his eyes dart back and forth like the words he’s speaking are printed on the carpet.

“And just when I felt like I had no chance of redemption or reason for living,” his eyes jerk up to meet mine, “I met you. On a cold, snowy night, when few people would have even chanced to look in my direction, you spoke to me. You reminded me that despite all of humanity’s flaws and faults, there is beauty and there is good. You showed me that grace is more than a source of internal power and strength; it’s an outward expression of love that only humans are capable of experiencing.”

He smiles, the warmth of the expression making the hairs on my neck stand on end.

“Thank you.”

My mind is reeling - part of me still trying to fully absorb everything he’s just said.

“So,” I’m surprised to find that, somehow, my mouth is forming actual words with sound and meaning. “No harps and wings?”

Clarence, or Castiel, or whatever grins, his eyes sparkling again.

“Harps? No. Wings?” He stands and rolls his shoulders. A light from some unknown source flickers and for the briefest of seconds I can see the outline of a shadow on the wall behind him.

The shadow looks distinctly like what I would guess angel wings would look like, but also wrong somehow. It was as if they’d once been majestic and terrifying but time and tragedy have splintered and stripped them of their former splendor with brutal force. The sight is beautiful and heartbreaking, until I meet his gaze again. Where I would have expected to see sorrow and shame, I find hope and a sense of pride. This man - or angel, I guess - had had everything he’d ever known to be truth ripped away from him, and yet he is able to find peace in the ashes of his own collapse.

I don’t know why, but I believe him. I believe every word. It doesn’t make sense or have any hard evidence to prove it as fact, but I do.

Without another word, I stand, approaching him hesitantly. He smiles at me as I wrap my arms around him. I don’t know if it’s for his benefit or mine - if it’s a thank you or a you’re welcome - but we stand there embracing each other as old friends.

I pull back, surprised to find my cheeks wet with tears I hadn’t known I was crying. He brushes his knuckles across my cheek, sweeping the tears away as he smiles down at me.

“Well, Castiel or whatever your name is, if that doesn’t put a person in the Christmas spirit, I don’t know what will.”

He tips his head to one side, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve heard fruitcake and eggnog have proven effective, as well.”

Like what you see? Want more? My Masterlist is here. Thanks for reading! :)

My Forever Tags - Stay weird. I love y’all: @wheresthekillswitch @pretty-fortune @arryn-nyxx @emlostinwonderland @fandommaniacx @cookie-dough-lova @impandagrl @maddieburcham1 @trexrambling @beachballsizeladyballs @hannahindie @rosie-winchester @winchesterprincessbride @that-writer-one @fandomismyspirit @angelsandwinchesters @cfordwrites @charliebradbury1104 @mogaruke @luulaachops @supernaturaldean67 @barbedwireandbubblegum @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @muliermalefici @galaxy-jellyfish-queen @canadianjelly @kathaswings @feelmyroarrrr @captainradicalpassion @bethbabybaby @thinkwritexpress-official @akshi8278 @emoryhemsworth @boxywrites @atc74 @anticipate1003 @super100012 @lovesj2m @masksandtruths @ellen-reincarnated1967 @growningupgeek @there-must-be-a-lock @mrswhozeewhatsis @amanda-teaches @cassieraider @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @its-my-perky-nipples @squirrel-moose-winchester @sandlee44 @paintrider13-blog @arses21434 @petra-arkanian-1497

#castiel x reader #cas x reader #castiel #cas #cas fluff #castiel fluff #clarence #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #panda writes #merry manda christmas drabbles #merry manda #merry manda 2018 #i lost my queue

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evescole · 6 years

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Fear // Peter Parker

word count: 2,045

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

warnings: hints of an eating disorder, swearing, sexual harassment, electrocution, angsty angst angst

summary: when the avengers are split after the scene at the airport, you’re beginning to realize there’s major consequences to your actions.

tagged: @fightmeandmy100fandoms @purplekitten30 @neejaatjeh @cam0flug3 @annoyingcoffeephantom (i just tagged everyone who asked + commented on the last one, sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged!)

a/n: here’s part two. peter’s not in this one as much but he’ll be in the next one, i promise. GUYS I HIT 200 FOLLOWERS THANK YOU BUNCHES!!

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part one // part three

Fear wasn’t an unknown topic in the world. People had lots of fears, right? Spiders, clowns, the dark. There was a possibility to be scared of anything. Monophobia is known as the fear of being alone. You had done your fair share of research on it to know that you had it. Ever since you were a little kid, the fear of being alone was prominent in the back of your head. Now, more than ever, your fears were becoming reality.

Since you were torn from your friends at the airport, everything went downhill. You hadn’t spoken a word, not even when you were briefly reunited with your teammates. They had taken your group to the Raft Prison. You knew you were going to get in trouble but you didn’t think it would be this consequential.

Weapons were confiscated as you were taken in before you were forced to change clothes. The girl who was assigned to watch you was creeping you out, eyes scanning your body as you zipped up the blue outfit.

“If you weren’t a criminal, I’d definitely be taking you home with me.” She smirked as she walked towards you. You rolled your eyes, not interesting in her childish acts.

They had taken everything, including the clips that had once pinned your hair back. The one thing you had managed to hide was the necklace that Peter had given you. The locket stayed clipped around your neck, hidden by the blue uniform that you’d been forced into.

You folded your original outfit up before putting it in the box that held the rest of your stuff. Before you had a chance to turn around, something cold locked around your neck, making you jump. Your hands immediately went to the foreign object as the girl chuckled.

“Boss’ orders. Said we need to keep freaks like you and the witch in check. I happen to agree with him.” She traced your cheek with her pointer finger.

You grit your teeth, holding back the desire to smack her hand away. You didn’t need to make the situation any worse than it already was. You knew with everything that happened, you were on thin ice.

“Aw how cute. The little baby of the group doesn’t talk. She needs everyone else to defend her,” She teased, her bottom lip jutting out. “Arms out.”

You rolled your eyes and followed her directions. She lifted a heavy jacket on them before walking around you and securing the buckles on the back. You looked down, a sinking feeling in your chest as you realized what the jacket was.

“You know, when they said some of the Avengers were coming in, who would’ve thought that Tony Stark’s daughter was in the group. I have to admit, you’re just as psychotic as he is.”

Insulting you was one thing but now, you were mad. Yeah, you had your fair share of arguments with your dad and especially now, you regretted all of them. In the end, he was a good father and you were about to let someone treat him like he wasn’t.

“I mean, wow. Not only did majority of his team go against him, but his own kid? If that doesn’t tell you he’s a shit person, I don’t know what will.”

All your pent up anger released as you threw your elbow back, connecting with the girl’s stomach. She gasped, letting go of you as she stumbled back.

You stomped towards her, grabbing the front of her shirt. “You can sit here and taunt me, harass me, and make fun of me all you want, but you won’t say a thing about my dad. Do you understand?” You growled, your fist tightening even more.

She nodded, a bit terrified by you lashing out. You dropped her before walking away back to the center of the room. You took a deep breath to calm yourself, glad that you got your point across.

“Crazy little bitch!” The girl sneered as she stood up from the floor, clutching a black remote in her hand. You squinted at the device before a searing pain filled your body. You collapsed on the ground, fingers tugging weakly at the collar on your neck as the sensation stopped. The girl leaned down in front of you, chucking like a mad woman. “Don’t mess with me, ever again or I’ll make sure you never get out of here.”

You gulped and nodded, not wanting to be electrocuted again. She grunted in satisfaction before standing and pulling you up too. You fell back into silence as she wrapped your arms around your waist, securing them behind you.

Eventually, you were led out of the room by the girl as she gripped your arm a little too tight. You kept your eyes on the floor, lips silent. You passed through a series of doors and hallways before stopping at one. The girl paused to scan her badge before leading you into the circular room.

“Y/N!”

You looked up to see Wanda behind a wall of glass wearing the same restraints as you. You blinked at her before scanning the room to see the rest of your team.

The girl yanked on your arm before practically shoving you into the cell next to Wanda’s, a smirk forming on her lips as you collided painfully with the ground.

You managed to wiggle yourself into a sitting position as she slammed the door shut. Your shoulder throbbed from the impact with the floor as you leaned against the wall. You pulled your knees to your chest, finally able to release all your pent up emotions.

Clint was in the cell opposite yours, eyes on you the entire time of your entrance. He felt for you. He knew this would be the consequences of fighting on Steve’s side. He also knew that you weren't prepared for this. You were just a kid. Tony’s kid, more importantly. You shouldn’t have ever had to decide on whose side you would fight on.

He just hoped they could get you out of here soon.

You weren’t sure how many days had passed. You stayed in your spot, curled in the corner. Trays of food had been brought in the room countless times and you stared at each and every one. You hadn’t dared to touch a bite in fear of there being something inside. No matter how much Wanda and Clint (and sometimes Sam), begged you to eat, to talk to them, you stayed frozen in your spot.

You felt awful. You couldn’t believe you made the decisions you did. Yes, you loved Steve and yes, you wanted to support him but you did the worst thing ever. You betrayed your dad, the only real family you had. Not to mention, you basically got in a fist fight with your boyfriend. You were disappointed in your decisions and now, you were punishing yourself for it.

The sound of the door opening and closing made you jump but you didn’t dare look up. You knew it was probably just Mr. Ross again and you didn’t have anything you wanted to say to him.

Clapping, however was not what you planned to hear. You glanced up to see Clint standing in his containment, clapping loudly.

“The Futurist, gentlemen! The Futurist is here.” You could hear the sarcastic tone in his voice. “He sees all. He knows what’s best for you, whether you like it or not.”

Looking closer, you could see two figures approach Clint’s cell. One, you could definitely tell was your father, which sent chills down your spine. The other, you hoped to God you were wrong about.

You could tell Clint was mumbling for a bit, a conversation going on. You blinked as you were mentioned, eyes still on the group as Clint talked. “That didn��t used to mean me. Or Sam, or Wanda, or hell, your own daughter.”

With a wave of his hand, Clint had both of the newcomers looking at you. As soon as you caught their eyes, you looked right back down at your lap.

“Y/N!” Peter’s voice cracked as he kneeled down in front of the glass door. “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

“Angel.” Your father’s voice was stern as he approached. You could hear his dress shoes on the hard, tile floors. “Look at me.”

Figuring you owed him that much, you made eye contact with your dad. You could hear Peter take a sharp breath. You knew you weren’t in the best condition but that didn’t mean you were going to change it.

“Alright, what the hell is going on?” Your dad walked away from you towards Sam.

The male didn’t bother to answer the question, only retaliating with one of his own. “How’s Rhodes?”

Tony scoffed, “Are you kidding me? My daughter’s falling apart and nobody’s doing-”

“Shut the hell up, Tony!” Clint snapped, gripping the bars of his containment tightly. “She did this because of where she is. Because she’s alone. And you know damn well that she can’t stand being alone.”

Your father gave you another pity filled glance before diving into a conversation with Sam. Your eyes left him to land back on your boyfriend, who was begging you to talk to him.

“Y/N, please. Please just tell me you’re okay.” Peter sat down on the floor, leaning up against the glass. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry we didn’t come sooner but I had to beg your dad in the first place to let me come and I just-”

You heart broke a little more as he started crying. You clenched your eyes shut, leaning your head back against the wall. You could only handle so much pain, so much grief, before you broke yourself.

Silently, you shuffled your way over to lean against the door next to him, your head against the cool glass. “I miss you.”

Peter stopped crying at your voice, hesitantly looking up. When he saw you moved, he about burst into tears again. “I miss you too, baby girl. So much. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not...it’s not your fault.” Your voice cracked from the lack of use as you curled into yourself again. “I’m sorry, Peter. I made a mistake.”

“No, no, no.” He shook his head desperately, wanting nothing more than to reach for you and cuddle you close. “You didn’t do anything wrong, love. I promise it’s okay. Your dad and I, we’re gonna get you out of here. I promise.”

You sniffled and nodded, curling up against the door as your eyes dropped to your lap. Silence filled the cell block again, making you want to scream. You could hear brief mumbling before shoes connected with tile again until your father was crouched down beside Peter.

“You know, that’s the most movement, the most noise, we’ve gotten out of her since she got here, Tony,” Wanda sighed, “She’s not going to last much longer.”

Your father nodded, his eyes still on your deteriorating form. He knew something had to change, and fast, if he wanted to keep you with him. He had let you slip from him once and he was bound and determined not to let it happen again.

“Parker, we’ve gotta go,” Tony mumbled, his eyes not leaving you.

Peter wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Yeah, okay.” He moved to a crouch, placing his hand near your face against the glass. “It’s gonna be okay, Y/N. I love you.”

You watched as he stood up, leaving your father in your eyesight. You gave him a quick glance, failing to hold back the tears in your eyes.

Tony sighed, “Don’t give up on me. Not yet.” He tapped the glass gently, looking into your eyes to give you a sad smile before standing back up. You watched as he wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulder as they exited the room, leaving you to curl up in your tears all by yourself.

Before he lost sight of you completely, Peter turned to your dad. “We’re gonna bring her home, right Mr. Stark?” He whispered, his voice making it evident of his sorrow.

“Yeah,” Tony sighed, squeezing the teen a little tighter. “Yeah, kid. We’re gonna bring her home.”

a/n: tell me what you think!! i wanna know :)

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multiverseforger · 3 years

Text

Samuel Thomas Wilson was born in Harlem, New York City, to Paul Wilson, a prominent minister, and Darlene Wilson. Wilson has a happy childhood and finds he has a natural affinity for birds. He takes up training pigeons, and has the largest pigeon coop in Harlem.[16] In his teens, however, encounters with racism leave him jaded.[17] When he is 16, Wilson refuses to join the church, believing his deeply religious parents to be ignorant for their faith. To his surprise, rather than put up a fight, his parents provide him with books on different religions and comparative theology. The next night, however, Sam's father is killed trying to break up a neighborhood fight (originally Paul was said to have been killed when Sam was 9 years old).[18] Two years later, his mother is shot and killed by a mugger one block from their apartment. Consumed by grief and "angry at the world" Sam turns his back on his past as a respected community volunteer. He moves to Los Angeles and creates a new persona: "Snap" Wilson, a professional criminal and gang member.[19][20]

While Snap is on his way to "a big score in Rio de Janeiro", his plane crashes on Exile Island (years later, he would say "I actually loved this place quite a bit. It's where I met my two best friends," referring to Captain America and Redwing).[21] The once-peaceful island had been taken over by the Exiles, a group of would-be world conquerors who had collaborated with the Nazi supervillain the Red Skull during World War II. They had been betrayed by the Red Skull and were forced to remain in hiding on the island, enslaving the natives. Wilson finds and befriends Redwing, a falcon with which he feels a remarkably strong bond.[22]

Becoming the FalconEdit

As part of a plot against Captain America, the Red Skull uses the Cosmic Cube, a creation that allows its user to alter reality, to mentally fuse Wilson with Redwing, creating a "super-normal mental link" that would, with time and concentration, give Wilson broad powers over all birds.[23][24] Next, the Skull uses the Cube to rewrite the past and erase the years Wilson had spent angrily living as Snap Wilson. In this new history, Wilson was an upright and cheerful social worker who is eventually lured to the Exiles' island and organizes the natives to fight for their freedom. Steve Rogers (Captain America) befriends him there and convinces Wilson to adopt a persona to inspire the natives in their rebellion. The two create the costumed persona the Falcon and train together extensively before attacking and defeating the Exiles and the Red Skull.[16] The Falcon becomes Captain America's regular partner in crime-fighting,[25] and briefly even takes on the Captain America costume and identity when Rogers is believed to have been killed.[26]

Later, again as the Falcon, Wilson receives help from the Black Panther, who creates a harness for Wilson, allowing him to fly.[27] When Rogers briefly abandons his Captain America identity, others attempt to take up the mantle, including a young man named Roscoe whom the Falcon mentors. When the Red Skull eventually kills Roscoe, Rogers again becomes Captain America.[28]

Soon afterward, the Red Skull reveals the Falcon's true past as Snap Wilson, and unsuccessfully attempts to use the Cosmic Cube to make the Falcon kill Captain America.[29] Now aware of his past but deciding to continue as a hero, the Falcon is eventually named head of the Super Agents at the espionage agency S.H.I.E.L.D..[30]

US government superhero liaison Henry Peter Gyrich then recruits Wilson, one of the few active black superheroes, to fill a mandated racial quota for the venerable team the Avengers.[31] Resentful of being a "token", the Falcon quits at the first opportunity. He debuts a new costume when he fights the supervillain Taskmaster.[32]

2000sEdit

Falcon becomes a member of the new team of Avengers assembled to fight the international menace Scorpio as a United Nations peacekeeping agency. By this point, Falcon had discovered that he could extend his telepathic bond with Redwing, allowing him to control other birds and "see" through their eyes. He uses this ability to spy on Henry Gyrich (now the Avengers' liaison with the United Nations) and discovers that the United States' Secretary of Defense, Dell Rusk, has been pressuring Gyrich to spy on the Avengers and turn over their secrets. Although initially hostile to one another, Falcon convinces Gyrich to help the Avengers spy on Rusk, feeding him false information while gathering evidence to expose him. They discover that Rusk is actually the Red Skull, who has launched a biological weapon attack on the United States, intending to use the ensuing panic to gain control over America's government and start a war with other countries. Falcon is instrumental in defeating the Red Skull.[33]

It is around this period of time that, a new "Captain America" secretly created by the Office of Naval Intelligence (O.N.I.) goes rogue and begins eliminating anything and anyone he sees as a source of terrorism. To draw out this agent (dubbed "The Anti-Cap"), O.N.I. leaks information about their involvement in a biological weapons project with the notorious Rivas Family, powerful Cuban drug lords. Reporter and social activist Leila Taylor investigates this rumor and attempts to smuggle a sample of the virus into America, but she is arrested by U.S. forces in Cuba. Falcon, who is a friend of Taylor, breaks her out of prison and investigates her claims, destroying the Rivas Family's biological weapons lab and obtaining a sample of the mysterious virus they were developing for O.N.I. Falcon is able to fly Leila back to America (although his flying harness is destroyed in a hurricane) while Captain America follows Falcon's directions and retrieves the virus sample. The Anti-Cap kills the head of the Rivas family, and pursues Leila, Falcon, and Cap, intent on obtaining the virus sample. After reuniting, Falcon and Captain America are able to barely defeat the Anti-Cap. Realizing that O.N.I.'s goal was to draw out their rogue agent to execute him, Captain America arranges to have the Anti-Cap secretly imprisoned in the Wakandan embassy until O.N.I. agrees not to kill him.[34]

Since Captain America and Falcon now possess both O.N.I.'s rogue agent and the last remaining sample of O.N.I.'s virus, O.N.I. begins to put increasing amounts of pressure on the heroes. Falcon is especially targeted – he had broken Leila out of Federal Custody, and his criminal history makes it easier for O.N.I. to create further false charges against him. Falcon soon finds himself on the run from O.N.I.[volume & issue needed]

Meanwhile, the superheroine the Scarlet Witch, having gone insane, begins using her powers to re-create many of the Avengers' greatest trials and tragedies. She destabilizes the Falcon's mind, causing him to act increasingly like his "Snap" persona. He begins carrying a gun, keeps secrets from his friends, assaults Leila's boyfriend Norman when he protests they go into hiding, and uses a high power rifle to shoot at his friend Robbie Robertson (to fool Robbie into thinking O.N.I. was threatening to kill him). Although they succeed in exposing the illegal activities of O.N.I. and clear Wilson's name, Sam's methods cause his relationship with Captain America to become strained. Cap confronts Falcon about his recent actions, and Falcon, angered at what he sees as an ultimatum, terminates their partnership. As they are walking away, Norman (who blames Falcon for the end of his relationship with Leila) appears and shoots at Falcon. Captain America is seriously injured by the stray bullets, and even appears to die. The shock of watching his best friend seemingly die because of his actions has a powerful effect on Sam, who briefly gives up being Falcon and reexamines his life.[35]

Sam Wilson reappears as Falcon in the 2005 "House of M" storyline and in the 2006–07 "Civil War" storyline.[36] In the latter, he supports Captain America against the Superhuman Registration Act. When the Captain becomes incapacitated, Falcon temporarily assumes leadership of the "Secret Avengers" rebel group.[37] Following Captain America's assassination by the machinations of the Red Skull, the Falcon registers with the government and is made responsible for Harlem, although he continues to maintain contact with the underground New Avengers.[38] He is also called upon to investigate the Captain's assassination by locating Winter Soldier and tracking down the Red Skull.[39]

Becoming Captain AmericaEdit

Wilson as Captain America on the cover of All-New Captain America #1 (November 2014). Art by Stuart Immonen.

Wilson appears in the 2010 "Shadowland" storyline as Falcon, after which he becomes an operative in the new incarnation of the Heroes for Hire team, in the book of the same name.[40] He later appears in the 2012 "Avengers vs. X-Men" storyline, helping She-Hulk and several other Avengers contain the students at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning.[41]

As part of the 2012 - 2015 Marvel NOW! relaunch, Wilson rejoins the Avengers after Iron Man and Captain America choose to expand the team's line-up.[42] After Rogers is aged into an old man, he appoints Wilson as his 'official' replacement as Captain America.[43] During a confrontation with the Red Skull's daughter Sin, it is revealed that the "Snap" identity was a fake memory implanted into Sam by the Red Skull in an attempt to discredit the hero through racism.[44]

As part of the 2015 All-New, All-Different Marvel initiative, Captain America investigated the disappearance of Mexican teenager Joaquin Torres after he was abducted by the Sons of the Serpent.[45] After fighting Armadillo and capturing the leader of the hate group,[46] Captain America discovered that Joaquin was being used in the experiments of Karl Malus who turned Joaquin into a bird/human hybrid using Captain America's pet bird Redwing. When Karl Malus was defeated, Captain America took Joaquin in.[47] When it was discovered Joaquin's bird/human hybrid condition wasn't temporary, Captain America learned from Claire Temple that Joaquin's condition was permanent due to Redwing being vampiric and sporting a healing factor.[48] When Captain America was captured by the Serpent Society and thrown out the window by Viper, he was saved by Joaquin.[49] Using his link with Redwing, Captain America telepathically sent Joaquin the knowledge on how to fight where he held his own until Misty Knight and Demolition Man showed up. After the Serpent Society was defeated, Captain America allowed Joaquin to become his sidekick, enabling him to become the new Falcon.[50]

During the 2016 "Avengers: Standoff!" storyline, Sam, after defeating the Green Skull, is contacted by Whisperer (an alias of Rick Jones). After meeting Whisperer, he learns that S.H.I.E.L.D. never discarded the Kobik project as he thought they did. He meets with Steve Rogers, where they follow a lead to a town in Connecticut and are later picked up by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.[51] He then meets the Winter Soldier and rescue S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Avril Kincaid from the Blood Brothers, who informs them of a super-weapon hidden in the town that Baron Zemo and the other villains are looking for. They then head to the bowling alley where Kobik uses her powers to restore Steve Rogers to his prime when he was about to be killed by Crossbones. They begin looking for Kobik again only to discover that Baron Zemo had Fixer invent a device that would help find Kobik as Kraven the Hunter rallies the villains to help with their goals. Upon not being able to successfully locate Kobik, Steve Rogers decides to rally the heroes so that they can take the fight to Baron Zemo.[52] In the aftermath of the incident, Steve and Sam plan to keep what happened at Pleasant Hill under wraps at the time being.[53]

After the "Standoff!" storyline, Sam begins to face public pressure to return the shield and mantle of Captain America to Steve, as does Maria Hill for the consequences of her actions on Pleasant Hill. He and Steve then begin to secretly plan for a way to get Hill to face her crimes publicly. During a press conference, Sam encounters the mercenary Chance who was about to kill Steve in the middle of his speech. After defeating him, Sam receives a hero's welcome when Steve announces him to the public as Captain America. While getting arrested, Chance tells Sam that he was on Pleasant Hill and that he didn't agree with the heroes' actions.[54]

During the 2016 "Civil War II" storyline, Captain America attends War Machine's funeral, where he delivers an inspirational speech. He then has private conversations with Iron Man and Captain Marvel, over which side he should choose. Months later, Wilson watches a TV broadcast about former New Warrior Rage engaging in a fight with the Americops, a private police force funded by Keane Industries, in Brooklyn. Intending to stop the fight, Wilson, along with Redwing and Falcon, try to contain the situation. Sam manages to stop the fight, although not without fighting the Americops, for which he knew the media would portray him negatively. As he leaves, he is attacked from behind by U.S. Agent. After a brief argument, Captain America and U.S. Agent begin to fight, with U.S. Agent gaining the upper hand, until Sam drags him into a tunnel where the darkness and the great horned owls that reside in it allow him to win the fight.[volume & issue needed] After defeating U.S. Agent and receiving an argument from Rage, Wilson returns to his headquarters where he decides to put a tiny implant in his brain that will enhance his ability to see what birds see, enabling him to transmit them into a data storage facility that converts them into images and videos. He decides to further investigate the Americops to find proof of their violent activities.[55]

While accompanying Steve Rogers on a mission to stop Flag-Smasher's latest assault, Wilson fails to save a senator from being shot by the villain, further compromising his current public image. This is subsequently revealed to have been deliberately staged by Rogers who has been converted to believe he is a Hydra sleeper agent since childhood. Using his greater familiarity with the shield, Rogers deliberately put Wilson in a position where he would be unable to use the shield to save the senator, with the final goal of demoralizing Sam to the point where he will return the shield to Rogers of his own free will (not wanting to kill Wilson and risk creating a martyr).[56]

After discovering that Rage was arrested and accused of robbing a pawn shop which Man Mountain Marko and Speed Demon committed, Sam offers him professional help from other heroes, but Rage turns it down, preferring that he should be the one to prove his innocence. After consulting with his brother and Rogers, Sam posts a video on the internet showing footage of the Americops beating up Rage, exposing their violent activities. During Rage's trial, a frustrated Sam leaves the courtroom and captures Speed Demon, who confesses to his and Man Mountain Marko's involvement in the pawn shop robbery. Upon returning to the court, Misty tells Sam that the verdict was already given. While people protest over Rage's arrest, Sam tries his best to calm them. Sam leaves a letter which explains he is ending his role as Captain America and returning the shield to Steve Rogers[57]

During the 2017 "Secret Empire" storyline, Sam has spent time alone in a desert and returns to the city where he discovers Hydra's takeover of America and that Steve Rogers is their leader. Sam rescues a woman and her Inhuman daughter from Hydra enforcers, Sam reluctantly helps them to safety. He reunites with Misty Knight and Demolition Man and helps smuggle other Inhumans out of the country. He helps Ant-Man smuggle his daughter Cassandra Lang then declines their offer to join the underground resistance.[58] When Hawkeye and the Tony Stark A.I. reveal that Kobik was responsible for Steve's change, Sam agrees to help smuggle them out of the country so they can find the Cosmic Cube's fragments.[59] Sam takes the group through an abandoned subway tunnel where they encounter Mole Man, with whom Sam strikes a deal when they are attacked by Dreadnoughts sent by Hydra. After crossing the tunnel, the group departs in a jet plane.[60] They arrive in a mansion where Ultron resides, since he is in possession of the shard. They encounter Steve Rogers and his Avengers until Ultron captures them. After a brief battle, Ultron allows them to leave and gives the shard to Tony's team. Steve muses that he is unconcerned about who will acquire the fragments as he has an inside man in the Tony Stark A.I.'s team.[61]

After a series of dead ends, the team returns to the hideout, where Sam reunites with Misty, until Hydra forces arrive and begin their assault on the base. During the battle, Sam helps the other heroes in protecting the refugees and battling Hydra's Avengers and a revived Bruce Banner as the Hulk until the base explodes.[62] In the aftermath of the attack, Sam appears standing on top of the rubble as Captain America to inspire America's superheroes to not surrender.[63] It is later revealed that Sam had a conversation with Misty Knight and Rayshaun Lucas, the new Patriot, which has persuaded him to reassume the role of Captain America, leading the resistance and wielding Rogers' original round shield as a symbol of hope.[64] Sam uses the Cosmic Cube fragment acquired by the resistance to help destroy the Darkforce dome surrounding Manhattan and the planetary defense shield, releasing all the trapped heroes. Liberating all the imprisoned Inhumans, the Underground attacks the Capitol which attracts the attention of Steve Rogers, who arrives wearing Cosmic Cube-powered armor. During the final battle, Sam fakes surrender and gives the fragment to Steve, only for Winter Soldier to intervene and bring Kobik and the real Steve Rogers back. The restored Steve Rogers manages to defeat the Hydra Steve Rogers with Thor's hammer and Kobik restores reality back to normal.[65]

Return as FalconEdit

Upon taking the second Patriot on as his sidekick, they travel to Chicago to deal with an outbreak of gang violence, unaware that Blackheart is posing as the city's Mayor.[66]

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