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silasbug · 2 years

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dream log Nr. -014

14/03/2022 (extracted from a chat, unstructured)

hade:

I had a dream where we were running dungeons and kept getting Elden Hollow I and you were getting sooooo frustrated

Tuffi:

lol

somehow i am jealous of you dreaming so much but since you told me it feels like not sleeping, i am not jealous

hade:

You shouldnt be, plus I was half-conscious during that dream and was aware I was half-awake, but the dream kept repeating somehow & I wasnt actually falling back asleep

I did feel a little rested during that time

then I fell deep again, had another intense dream where I was sprinting across fields with a plant-farmers market on them and I kept passing out while running and hence tumbling and rolling off the floor

then I felt fucking tired again when I woke up lmao

idk man I have periods where I dont dream or cant remember and sleep is super uneventful, and then there are times like these where I'm just.. "please, no more”

but ngl its very interesting being able to remember full cohesive dreams, I kind of love it besides the tiredness

Getting control of them would be sweeeeet

but idk how, I can be aware of thr fact that I'm dreaming but it'll have no bearing on whether or not I can change or impact that dream

when I am a little more conscious or close to consciousness (so waking, or being aware that I have to go to the bathroom for example) I can repeat parts of the dream but it will no longer organically continue

I just recounted them and I had 4 dreams last night, all of which I can remember in most-detail

Tuffi:

when i have strong dreams with some kind of loop in it where i can't seem to move forward, i feel like i have a smidgen of influence on it and i bet if it would happen more often, then i could trick myself a little to gain more influence on it

it feels like a psychic wall i need to train my brain for, before i can cross it

maybe i would never be able to cross it though, no idea

that's crazy

hade:

I'm usually pretty blank? But I notice when I close my eyes that the moment I start to fall asleep a shit ton just goes on in front of my eyes and if I wake without having fallsn fully asleep I kinda feel like what the fuck was that mess and where did it come from.

it's like rapidly switching channels but with some cohesion

Tuffi:

i can barely remember one dream, if i dream at all. since we are supposed to dream every night, i guess i almost never remember my dreams =/

hade:

usually same for me

but the last two days have been intense, because the night before this I was also able to recount 3-4

Tuffi:

holy shit, that sounds .... confusing

hade:

maybe implementing some kind of trigger, or designating something as trigger that could make you realize you're dreaming but in a way where you can become lucid would be neat, but I don’t think every dream would include that trigger

but thats only when I'm almost falling asleep and then wake back up before really falling asleep, that's like a 5-10 min window

usually when I fall asleep it's just snap I'm asleep

Tuffi:

dude

our brain is so crazy

it's also quite interesting how little we still know about it i guess

hade:

"brain-daddy, no! please! no more!""

Tuffi:

lol

you just humanized your brain and made it a naughty man

hade:

hahahaha

I mean it almost feels abusive

if it werent so interesting

ive always loved dreaming and being able to remember that shit because theres just absolutely nothing like it

Tuffi:

let brain daddy poke you a little

i'll be gentle

(maybe)

Muahaha

oh? you think you can run? let's trip you a couple dozen times

I HAVE THE POWAH

hade:

movies, tv, dont even come close to the weird shit your subconscious projects, the itch it scratches is so very satisfying

lmao

literally

towards the end I had rapid succession of pass out fall down roll off back up and immediate repeat for like 4x in a row

it was almost like cartwheels with your shoulders and more scrapes

Tuffi:

where did you want to go?

where you running?

why? where did you come from?

so many questions

where you just happily skipping across the field, enjoying the weather? or were you trying to reach the market?

we need to analyze the shit out of this

i mean ... your subconsciousness really gets to live out its shit when your consciousness falls asleep so ... i know i had quite a lot of dreams that made so much sense when thinking about what they've shown me

hade:

oh I remember more than running and tumbling, I just didnt write it all out, just the part that stuck the most vividly

Tuffi:

ah okay

no worries, if this gets a little too personal. they are dreams after all

quite vulnerable state that is

no control of what you think and do

hade:

for one I had a girlfriend (someone who was actually my “girlfriend” in my childhood, her name was Nina), there was a plant market across thise fields and I was looking for a new plant because one of mine died

this one was just weird, I just didnt write it all out because I didnt know how interesting dreams are for you and jusg the tumbling was super exhausting and memorable, plus funny

a new plant, I was looking for a new plant! at the plant market, because my girlfriend was a botanist and coming over and one of my plants had died and I wanted a new one and also to show her

Tuffi:

didn't you say something about your plants just yesterday ?

when we briefly talked about the vinegar smell

hade:

I got soil gnats in my plants, yes (hence the apple cider vinegar traps)

but I dont think it was related

one thing that really sucks about these phases though, despite the exhaustion, is that once the dreams fade again, either from memory or me having any, it feels sooo empty

Tuffi:

what do you mean exactly? you feel empty after forgetting what you dreamt about?

hade:

no, you feel the absence of the dreams

knowing you dreamed vs suddenly only waking up after falling asleep, just coming back from the black instead of movies in your head

it's a very distinct empty feeling

and also after forgetting what you dreamed about, because before there was knowing and remembering, and suddenly it's gone and you cant grasp it anymore

#dream log #retrospective dreams #in which i was cartwheeling along a barren field to buy a new plant to impress my dream gf #mostly a conversation with Tuffi i wanted to save

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gardenhotspot · 2 years

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im evil again

#gcwtual #ive rolled my eyes 3 times in the last 5 min #also ive been here an hr and i'm in the mood to kill lol #this job makes me so angry. .and neither bs or the store manager are even bothering to be polite or say hello anymore #which is fine but is also incredibly telling #once again 'the planogram doesnt matter' once again 'the plants wont die' once again 'nothing can be on carts #SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!#i need to calm down i cant get mad at b or o today they dont deserve it #im just so powerless thus im biting ppl. terrible cycle.#at least bt isnt here #ik id snap at her on accident. god.#edit: yeah i think ive reached my boss's end too. she went from she would go to corporate to well idk what else to do. so.#theyve been putting plants out wherever its just sooo fucking frustrating and like oh i have to take it? yeah i sure do.#and i hsvr this whole time. the problem is i'll keep fighting until i get sniped so they're going to have to deal with that too #i hate having to do work and them just doing all this crap and acting like i dont exisy #i cannot teach someone and also feel unsafe. thats where i am rn.#so either mb snd i figure smth out when he gets back. or. .or im seriously considering finding smth else #i love the ppl and the general basis of the job but if my boss wont do anything and she refuses to let me work at the old store i'm out

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megagrind · 5 years

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Cons of being sick:

Can’t breathe

Temprature doesn’t exist it’s always hot and cold simultaneously

Everything just fucking sucks

Pros of being sick:

NO FUCKING TICS BABY!!!!!!!

#and also an excuse to marathon milo murphys law #but seriously ive found the cure to tourettes!!!! its disease!!!!!#last year i got really sick and couldnt move from the couch for 3 days #but during that time there were absolutly no tick. and also no temptations!!! i showed absolutly no signs of tourettes for 3 days!!!#and then when i got better everything returned #BUT THE SAME THING IS HAPPENING NOW!!!!!#I HAVENT ROLLED MY EYES OR POPPED MY EARS OR FLEXED MY CALVES IN HOURS!!!!#AND I HAVE NO DESIRE TO!!!! NO TEMPTATION!!!!#granted my head feels like a hundread pounds and my body keeps fluxuation between hot and cold #but like...i can suffer confortably without changing position or straining myself every 5 min #assaaanyway #glad to know that wasnt a fluke #goodnite yall

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keisl0vergirl · 2 years

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“let’s try one more time, yeah?”

[pairings] bts x reader (separate)

[genre] fluff, angst

[summary] you giving the members one last chance

[authors note] heavily inspired by a tiktok (if i find it ill link it)

kim seokjin —

“really?” he looked up from his trembling hands, the tears that unsteadily gathered at his lash line finally fell. the conversation had been long overdue; you and jin both knowing that your last breakup wasn’t truly the end. “yeah. but this time we have to talk things out, or it’ll be it. i cant go through a heartbreak like that again” you shuffled closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. he instantly clutched your waist, fingers digging into your skin. “i promise you that you’ll never be heartbroken again. ill do nothing but love you.” you grinned, “that’s what i like to hear.”

min yoongi —

his cheeks were tinted pink, a lovedrunk look evident in his eyes. this was the first time tonight that he’s initiated, and successfully held, eye contact with you. he pulled you closer, giving you a kiss that communicated his feelings better than any words could. a kiss that said “im sorry for what ive done, i love you the most.” despite not talking for some months his effect on you was stronger than ever, your heart still pounding as his fingers ran along your jaw. “i’d like that.”

jung hoseok —

he giggled, pulling you close and burying his head into your nape. “im guessing you’re happy about us.” softly chuckling, you could feel the love radiating off of him. it had been 3 weeks since you last spoke but you guessed that absence really does make the heart grow fonder. he littered gentle kisses on your neck, slightly sucking on the skin. “you have no idea.”

kim namjoon —

“i was hoping you’d say that.” he grinned, pulling your hands into his, “we can do it right this time, go on dates and talk out any issues we have. together.” you settled next to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. his hands cupped your cheek, thumb softly rubbing against it. you hummed, relishing the emotions he evoked in you; the joy, the anger and the love. “together.”

park jimin —

his sniffles were muffled, covered by the hands that held his face. he had been hiding his tears from you since the beginning of your talk, not wanting you to see his guilt ridden expression as you finally got to voice your truth. throughout your relationship jimin was constantly busy, and whilst you valued your independence, you didn’t like the loneliness that came with it. jimin wiped his eyes with his sleeve, cupping his hand over yours and resting them on his heart. “my heart only beats for you, y/n. please don’t leave me again, i can’t be without you any longer.” you smiled, “i love you so much.” and with that, he finally connected your lips to his.

kim taehyung —

his joy was evident on his face, smile splitting his cheeks. “i’m so grateful for you. i almost destroyed us and you’ll never know how sorry i am.” you chuckled when he grabbed your wrist and crashed his body into yours, hands all over you. “tae it’s fine, we’re both responsible for what happened but it doesn’t matter now. all that matters is us right now, nothing else.” he kissed the top of your head, mentally thanking God for the love he received from you.

jeon jungkook —

“wha—” jungkook jumped up, feeling a burst of relief fly through him. “you’re really going to give me another chance? for real?” you rolled your eyes when he started break dancing, he was still as extra as he was 5 months ago. “yes.. now sit down before you injure yourself and the rest of your members jump me… again.” the last time he tripped and was sent to rest for the next 3 weeks, jimin and tae held you responsible, claiming that you should’ve been taking care of him better. it was a joke obviously but that didn’t stop you from keeping an extra eye out for jk. you know how clumsy he could get. “y/n thank you. i mean i would’ve done everything in my power so that this would happen… but im glad we’re together again. i can finally feel whole.”

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rydeszegras · 3 years

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get lost in wonderland - m.boldy

hey guys !! this is the first fic of my wonder series, im not sure if its gonna be any good as im still new to this whole writing thing and im not that good at it yet. (feel leave me some tips if you dont mind !!) but i hope you enjoy !

boldy x reader

inspo: intro - shawn mendes

wc: 1,088

warnings: nothing bad, just a whole lotta fluff :))

—

it was a chilly saturday morning in boston and you were cuddled up on your couch drinking your coffee and watching your favorite christmas movie when you recieved a text from your best friend, matt. matt had been your best friend since as long as you can remember, you both grew up together in millis and were inseparable since the day you met. it was tough for you guys to go to separate schools for the first time in your life, but bu and bc were only 10 mins apart so it was easy to make do with.

at around 10:30 you had just gotten out of the shower and were drying your hair when you recieved a text from your best friend

matthew boldy:)

10:32am - hey im picking you up at 11:15 be ready

you

10:32am - where are we going?

matthew boldy:)

10:34am - you’ll see, just be ready to go and make sure to dress warm;)

okay, you thought, so its gonna be outside, so you prepared yourself to get ready for the day. you slipped on your favorite pair of lulus, some fuzzy socks, and then threw on the bc hoodie that matt had given you the last time you hung out. nobody knew this, at least you thought, but you had been in love with matt for as long as you could remember but knew he could never feel the same way. you werent the skinniest and you werent blonde which you were okay with, but you knew wasnt the type of girl that matt liked.

eventually 11:15 rolled around and matt showed up right on time knocking at your door, you threw on your patagonia parka and slipped on your ccm hat before letting matt in. as you opened the door, you saw matt standing there with the biggest bouquet of yellow roses you had ever seen wearing the biggest smile in the world, one youve never ever seen before

“hey beautiful are you ready to go?” matt says while handing you the bouquet of flowers. you nod your head with a smile as you grabbed the bouquet and placed them in the vase sitting on the counter. it wasnt abnormal for him to call you beautiful, it was something he said to you that you figured meant nothing and you brushed it off as usual. the only difference was the flowers he gave you, matt wasnt really one for sappy stuff, but you assumed he was just being nice as he knew you had a rough week.

matt had told you he had four special spots for you that day and it was a quick 5 minute drive to spot number one, caffè nero, which was your favorite coffee shop. “you can order whatever you want gorgeous, im paying.”

gorgeous? did he just call me gorgeous? you thought to yourself, beautiful was one thing, but gorgeous? you hadnt heard that one before, but you brushed it off as always and headed to the counter to place your order.

“hi can i get a y/f/d and a y/f/f please?” the cashier nods their head and you go to pick a table a few minutes before your order was ready. when they called your name matt quickly beat you up to go get your food.

when matt returned to he table you knew you had to ask him some questions. “so matt what is all this about, this isnt like you.” you said. “well i feel like youve been down lately so i thought you deserved to have a special day with some of your favorite things” matt replied while you responded with a soft smile before sipping your drink.

after you finished your food you headed out to the car and drove another 12 minutes to the boston harborwalk, the harborwalk was your favorite place in the winter, especially when it was snowing. matt knew this and it was his favorite place in the world too because he loved seeing your smile everytime you watched the snow fall, or when you saw the puppies run by, and even when you smiled the 500x matt almost slipped, walking a little bit further you reached stop number 3.

yankee lobster. an unnecessarily expensive amazing food place, and once again matt wouldnt let you pay. you spent at least three hours there discussing everything about your lives and eating your all you can eat lobster plates and it was incredible, you sat against the window and watched the snow fall while you just stared at his gorgeous blue eyes paying little attention to anything he was actually saying.

eventually you both finished your food and were off to the next location. now this location wasn’t necessarily your favorite location in the world, but it was matts and he was destined to make it your favorite place too. matt didnt know how this was gonna go, in all honesty this stop made him more nervous than he had ever been. you were slightly confused as you pulled into the parking lot of the conte forum, but matt didnt let you ask any questions as he grabbed your hand as you approached the entrance of the arena looking back at you and smiling.

you approached an awkward set of stairs that lead you up to the rafters. “this isnt the prettiest place in the world but its definitely my favorite place, being able to look over at the rink and see every little aspect of it is amazing and i needed to share it with my favorite girl in the world” he said, and you smiled in response not knowing where he was going with this. “y/n i know you dont feel the same but i cant keep going without you knowing the truth. ive been in love with you since as long as i can remember and i cant keep holding it in any longer.”

wow. did he just say that. hes really. there is no way

“are you serious?” you asked as matt responded,“more than anything ive ever been serious about before.” you hesitated at first, but knew he was serious and there was nothing standing in your way. “i love you too matthew boldy, more than anything in the world,” and it took absolutely no time for matt to pull you into the most hearfelt kiss you had ever recieved.

“this is my wonderland y/n” matt said pulling back slightly with a smile, “and theres nobody id rather get lost in it with.”

#matthew boldy #matt boldy #minnesota wild #world juniors #wjc 2021 #wonder #shawn mendes #boston college #bc hockey #usa hockey #hockey

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btxtreads · 4 years

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Halfway There || Choi Soobin

➳ When feelings you thought have changed do a complete 180 in the midst of a total disaster.

↳ Pairing: Choi Soobin x Reader

↳ word count: 4.2k

↳ genre: fluff, angst?, medical au

↳ trigger warnings: mass shooting (NOT DESCRIBED BUT MENTIONED A LOT), mentions of suicide, panic attacks, multiple gunshot casualties, minor character deaths

↳Trigger warning note: PLEASE BE CAREFUL IN READING THIS FIC. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THE THINGS LISTED ABOVE--PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED UNDER THE KEEP READING SIGN. this is in no way romanticizing a shooting or anything mentioned in the warnings above--but this is a medical fic that takes place in an emergency room in the midst of a disaster, and i found that this situation is usually dealt with in the medical field would be plausible for the emergencies they would be able to respond to but still be able to interact with.

↳ a/n: With regards to the general plot between Soobin and Y/N,,,, i had no idea what i was writing man i did this on a spur at 3am. Please be careful in reading, and please tread lightly. otherwise, enjoy this weird soobin fic i wrote because there are no soobin fics for me to read anymore hAHA pls send me some.

Screams, wheels on linoleum floors, beeping.

All those noises are tuned out by Y/N as she panted, two defibrillators in her hands.

“Charge again. 600 this time. You, move.” Y/N commanded, pushing the patient’s brother away. “No one near the patient. We ready?”

Beomgyu, Y/N’s best friend and co-doctor, nodded firmly.

“Alright. Three, two, one.” Y/N said, voice alert. “Charge.”

The patient’s body lurched.

Y/N’s head turned to the heart monitor, cursing at the unmoving flat line.

“Shit, again. 800. Ready?”

“Yep.”

“3, 2, 1. Charge.” Y/N commanded, defibrillators firmly planted on the patient’s chest.

The patient lurched once more, and a slow beeping started.

Y/N and Beomgyu looked up at the heart monitor which now projected varying sizes of spikes—the patient’s heart was beeping again.

“Alright, he’s stable for now. Wheel him in, OR-5.” Y/N sighed, handing the defibrillator to a nearby nurse.

“Dr. Jeon is in, we’ll page him.” Beomgyu smiled, already on his pager.

As soon as the patient was rolled out of the emergency room and into the operating room, Y/N crashed into the spare bed.

“When will this end?”

“When your shift ends 4 hours from now.” Beomgyu chuckled, ruffling Y/N’s hair.

Y/N raised her head, pouting at him. “I just wanna go get some sleep, babe.”

Beomgyu laughed and pulled her up. “I don’t think we could, but what we can do is get some coffee at the Starbucks across the street.”

“You’re treating me?”

“You’re such a freeloader, but fine.”

“You have got to be kidding me right now.” Y/N groaned as she pushed the cafe’s door open.

There sat Huening Kai, her cousin and resident doctor, happily sipping on an iced americano next to Taehyun, his best friend from college.

Across them sat Yeonjun, one of the senior doctors of the hospital and next to him is Yeonjun’s best friend, Soobin.

Soobin.

Choi Soobin—she dreaded his entire existence.

Soobin, peacefully munching on a donut, heard the loud complaint from his seat and his eyes immediately darted over to the girl at the door.

“Y/N-ie!” Yeonjun greeted.

“Hey, Junie.” Y/N smiled politely, frowning at Soobin as she approached their table.

“Hey, troublemakers.” Y/N greeted, her hand landing on Hueningkai and Taehyun’s heads.

“Your mentor teaching you how to slack, huh?” Beomgyu teased, walking towards the line.

“Actually,” Yeonjun raised his finger. “I am not their mentor.”

“All the more. Besides, you’re still teaching them to slack.” Y/N chirped.

“You’re one to talk, you’re here too!” Yeonjun whined.

Soobin chuckled, causing Y/N to shoot him a glare. “Can I help you?”

Soobin stopped abruptly, shaking his head softly.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu exchanged glances as Y/N started doting on Hyuka.

Soobin quietly stood up, excusing himself for the comfort room.

Yeonjun turned to Y/N and whined. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem is that you’re a fully-grown adult, a medicine graduate and a practicing doctor and yet you still act like such a child.” Y/N shrugged.

“Boo.” Yeonjun huffed.

“Yeonjun,” Beomgyu sighed. “He meant what’s your problem with Soobin?”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked.

“They used to date!” Hyuka chirped from his seat, causing Y/N to turn over to him.

“Oh, yeah. They got it on all the time at their house, Soobin was there almost everyday then.” Taehyun giggled, silencing immediately at Y/N’s sharped glare.

“You what?” Yeonjun asked, his eyes wide. “Oh my god.”

“Still finding out your name is Daniel was a bigger surprise, Daniel.”

“My name is also Yeonjun. Both are my names.” Yeonjun groaned.

“Bad break-up?”

“No, kind of?” Y/N sighed, eyes locking with Soobin who just sat down. “Soobin just gave me a good wake-up call.”

Soobin frowned. “Look, can you get over it? It was almost six years ago.”

“Seeing my ex make out with my best friend the day after we broke up was seems kind of like a hate-you-for-the-rest-of-my-life material, doesn’t it, Binnie?” Y/N said, voice emotionless and smile empty.

As Soobin opened his mouth to answer his defense, six simultaneous beeps sounded out.

The six doctors exchanged glances before checking their respective pagers.

Code brown. Shooter at Seoul Community College. First patients ETA 10 min.

Years ago...

Y/N’s eyes watered as Soobin bit his lip, his head bowed down low.

“No, no.” Y/N whispered, her eyes leaking tears—but she didn’t sob.

She was quiet, and Soobin thought that hurt more than anything else.

“W-Why?” Y/N asked. “You told me you wouldn’t give up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Soobin, you said you loved me.” Y/N looked up, locking eyes with him. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me.”

Soobin gulped, looking at the side.

Of course, he loved her.

Soobin actually thinks he’s never loved anyone more than he loves Y/N.

But he can’t.

Soobin loved Y/N—a bit too much.

Too much that he was willing to throw everything away, that he was willing to just drop everything to be at Y/N’s beck and call.

Too much that he thought that he might suffer for it.

He might stop paying attention to class.

Too much that he thought of proposing, dropping is course and getting married, getting her pregnant and starting a family and a business.

That wasn’t in his plan.

When he said he wanted to be a doctor, his family made a lot of adjustments—budget cuts, his older brother going to a less prestigious college to save money, his parents taking on multiple jobs—just to give him his dream.

And now, he was here and thinking of dropping it all for a girl.

So, yes.

He did love Y/N, but he had to choose.

“I can’t, because I do love you, Y/N.” Soobin smiled sadly. “I have to love myself and my family more.”

“Soobin, I don’t understand. I don’t—just—tell me.”

Soobin only shook his head, any explanation he would offer would be useless.

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

Y/N, red-eyed and face swollen, finally found the courage to haul herself out of bed to get some food from a nearby cafe.

After a few hours of crying, Y/N fell asleep.

Waking up the next morning to an empty bed when she usually woke up on Soobin’s bare chest made another fresh wave of tears flow out of her body until she was out and had to reload—eat and drink.

As soon as she turned to the corner, her eyes fixed on her best friend.

Seo Yeon sat on the lap of a tall, brown-haired man practically sucking his face off.

What made Y/N stop was when they pulled away, Soobin’s face becoming visible.

Seo Yeon giggled before pressing a few kisses to his neck as Y/N walked over to them slowly.

“I thought you were busy Seo Yeon.” Y/N said, causing Seo Yeon to fumble off of Soobin.

“I-I was, Y/N-ie.” Seo Yeon mumbled as she stood awkwardly next to Soobin in his chair.

Soobin only sighed.

“Busy sucking the face off of the love of my life?” Y/N growled, out of character from her usualy calm demeanor.

Soobin’s head shot up, gaze soft but shocked at Y/N.

Seo Yeon pursed her lips. “Didn’t you guys break up?”

“You didn’t know that,” Y/N smiled dangerously. “I would’ve told you if you picked up the phone, but you didn’t. Did Soobin tell you?”

“No.” Soobin hummed, his gaze set on Y/N.

“Fucking snake.” Y/N chuckled, picking up Soobin’s cold brew and pouring it over Seo Yeon’s head.

Seo Yeon’s high pitched-screech sounded out as the beverage spilled over her head and stained her clothes.

Y/N turned her head over to Soobin, a menacing glare on her face as she hissed. “I thought you fucking loved me.”

“I did,” Soobin said, settling in his chair. “I always will.”

“Bullshit.” Y/N hissed before turning, pulling her hair in a high ponytail as she angrily stepped over to the cafe counter to order.

Soobin only sighed as the cafe’s door closed. “This was the only way to make you believe I don’t anymore.”

On a totally random Wednesday, Y/N found herself breathing heavily as she rushed from patient to patient.

She, Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hyuka all pulled on their coats as soon as they read the pager’s message and bolted back to the emergency room to prepare for the incoming patients.

The last she saw, a running Hyuka was fixing the IV of a patient being wheeled to the operating room, with Taehyun pushing the bed and rambling about Dr. Kim.

Yeonjun was screaming earlier about joules—probably using a defibrillator.

Beomgyu crashed in on her cot earlier as she was giving chest compressions to a gunshot victim, stealing gauzes before bolting to the neighboring cot.

Y/N panted as she opened the next cot, empty.

Soobin entered right after her, sighing as he collapsed on the empty bed.

“That’s for the patient.” Y/N panted, readying herself to stand and move to the next cot before Soobin groaned, pulling out his phone to narrate the situation.

“The shooter’s daughter was bullied and killed herself. So, he came to the university and killed everyone he thought was responsible.” Soobin narrated, sitting up and breathing slowly. “He’s still shooting.”

“Shit, so more patients incoming.” Y/N cursed.

“Definitely.” Soobin sighed as he stood and pulled the curtain open, only to be greeted with another patient—a gunshot wound on his chest, abdomen and leg.

“Oh my god.” Y/N gasped, waving the responders in.

Soobin immediately set to action, pulling out IVs and preparing the heart monitor.

“Dr. Choi, get a nurse.”

“There’s no time, and they’re all busy.” Soobin refused. “I’ll be your nurse for now.”

Y/N cursed before springing into action, taking the cords for the heart monitor to help him set it up.

“He’s got a weak heart beat and were losing a lot of blood.” Y/N hissed.

“Fuck, what’s your blood type?” Soobin asked, looking up at the patient whose gaze was hazy. “Sir? Sir!”

The patient muttered incoherently, causing Y/N to face him as his eyes closed. “Hey, hey. Stay with us.”

The patient breathed heavily before forcing his eyes open to let out another incoherent murmur. “Sir! Wake up!”

“Fuck,” Soobin said, turning to pull out a fresh batch of gauzes to press to the wounds. “Sir!”

Y/N cursed. “Fuck this.”

Soobin’s eyes widened as Y/N grabbed the man and shook him away. “Hey, buddy! Don’t sleep!”

The man blinked before softly muttering out. “Blood…O…Blood…Type of… O…”

Soobin grinned, turning over to Y/N and smiling softly. “Thanks, sir.”

“You gotta stay awake with us. Okay, buddy? We’ll get you out.” Y/N faced him. “Get the blood, doofus. We need at least 3 pints.”

“Roger.”

After Soobin and Y/N wheeled their patient into an operating room, leaving him to the care of Dr. Moon before running back to the emergency room.

At least 10 more patients were rolled in while they were occupied.

Y/N immediately bolted over to Hyuka, who looked panicked as he straddled a victim.

“Kai, get off, I’ll do it!”

Kai pulled himself off of the patient, and Y/N immediately plopped herself over the body.

“Count for me, a hundred a minute. Ready?”

Soobin’s eyes fixated on Y/N as he dashed to another cot with a ma and a stab wound.

She never looked more beautiful to him than she did a while ago, saving a life right in front of him.

Several cardiac arrests and chest compressions later, Y/N found herself at a loss in the middle of the emergency room as patients were wheeled in continuously.

“Is it still on-going?” Y/N asked as Beomgyu rushed past.

“It’s an open fire now,” Yeonjun answered for Beomgyu.

“Fuck,” Y/N cursed as a patient was pushed to a cot next to her, a black ribbon tied to the bed.

“Doc, we need someone to call it in so we can use the cot for other patients.” The head nurse rushed, causing Y/N to purse her lips and enter the cot.

The patient was a young woman, seemingly in her mid-20s, and her soft face made her look like she was just asleep—but Y/N knew better, she knew what the ribbon meant.

Y/N raised her watch, glancing at the dark lines forming numbers that would ultimately mark the last minutes of this girl.

“Time of death, 6:53 P.M.”

The nurse thanked Y/N, setting a blanket over the patient’s face before a quick transfer from the bed to a gurney was done and the nurses started to change the bedsheets for the next patient.

Soobin’s groan and Hyuka’s voice sounded from the cot across Y/N causing her to peek over.

Hyuka panted as he fluttered around the patient’s bedside.

“Hey, Hey! Minho, stay with me!” Hyuka hissed as he shook the body.

“Min Ho?” Y/N asked, walking forward. “Son Min Ho?”

Y/N looked down at her and Hyuka’s childhood best friend on the cot, Soobin working tirelessly as he tried to do chest compressions.

“Y/N, can you press on the wound?”

Y/N’s gasped, her eyes watering once more as she grabbed gauze pads and started pressing down on the multiple gun shot wounds on Minho’s body.

At the back of her mind, she knew that there was nothing they could do—he was gone as soon as she heard the flatline.

She didn’t know why her body reacted when Soobin pulled a black ribbon out of his pocket.

“No, No!”

Hyuka was silent, sitting down with a blank expression as Y/N shook her head.

“Choi, no, stop.” Y/N shook her head. “I can save him—I can save him!”

“Y/N.” Hyuka said softly, looking up at Y/N. “It’s over.”

“No, no.” Y/N gasped. “Not until I say so.”

“Y/N!”

“We’re not losing Minho, okay!” Y/N muttered, pulling the black ribbon out of Soobin’s hands and throwing it to the side. “No.”

“Y/N.” Beomgyu said as he entered the cot.

“No!”

Y/N climbed the bed, straddling Minho. “I can do this, fuck the heart monitor. Beomgyu, a hundred compressions a minute.”

“Y/N, stop it.” Beomgyu said, trying to pull her off.

“No? Fine. I’ll do it myself. Fuck you.” Y/N cursed at Beomgyu, her chest heaving fast as he pressed her palms on her friend’s body.

He was cold, but she paid no attention to it.

No, he’ll be fine.

“One, Two, Three—”

“Y/N!” Soobin’s deep voice boomed as he forcefully lifted Y/N off Minho’s body and plopped her on the floor where she unceremoniously dropped.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu helped several nurses transfer Minho to a gurney for the morgue as Taehyun consoled a silent Hyuka.

“I didn’t—I could’ve saved him—I could’ve…” Y/N muttered, rambling over and over.

“Y/N?” Beomgyu asked as he stepped forward.

“Panic attack.” Hyuka suddenly said.

“Y/N, Y/N,” Soobin said, his fingers snapping in front of her. “Look at me. Count with me.”

“I c-could’ve saved h-him.” Y/N continued, ignoring Soobin. “He c-can still live, b-bring him b-back. I can s-save h-him.”

“Think about family, think about friends. Your house in the country, your relatives there, your neighbors—“ Soobin abruptly stopped at Y/N’s glare.

“No, okay. Don’t think about it. Hold your breath.” Soobin said, causing Y/N to breathe heavier.

“I c-can’t.”

“You have to.”

“I r-really c-can’t, C-Choi!”

��Fine.” Soobin hissed before leaning in and pressing his lips on hers.

Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Hyuka all froze, eyes trained on Y/N and Soobin.

Y/N slowly responded to the kiss before pulling away.

Soobin breathed heavily, leaning his forehead on hers as he closed his eyes.

“Wait—what?” Yeonjun muttered.

“What was that for?” Y/N asked silently.

“You had to hold your breath, and you weren’t.” Soobin said softly as Beomgyu started to usher the others (mainly Yeonjun, who stillw anted to peek) out of the cot. “When I kissed you, you held your breath.”

“Y-You can’t do that.” Y/N breathed out.

Soobin only shook his head before leaning back in, swiftly pressing his lips on hers.

Y/N let out a soft breath, leaning back and running her hand through Soobin’s hair as their lips moved in sync.

Soobin raised his hands to grasp her waist, pushing deeper and angling his head.

Y/N groaned and wrapped her leg around his torso, pulling him closer.

Soobin moved his lips down, kissing from her lips, to her jaw and proceeding to suck a mark on her neck.

“Soobin,” Y/N grunted, sighing.

Soobin hummed, pressing his lips to hers once more.

It was then that Y/N suddenly opened her eyes and pushed him away.

“No, No. This can’t be happening again, not after I just got over this.” Y/N said, groaning as she scooted away.

“Y/N, wait—“

“You hurt me.” Y/N said, turning over to him. “You broke up with me.”

“I thought it was best at the time.” Soobin whispered.

“I loved you.”

“So did I,” Soobin said, taking her hand and pressing a soft kiss on it. “and I still do. I never stopped.”

“Bullshit,” Y/N hissed, ripping her hand away from Soobin’s grasp and running it through her hair. “Stop saying shit you don’t mean.”

“How do you know I don’t mean it?” Soobin challenged, irritated.

“Maybe because I saw you making out with my so-called best friend the day after you left.” Y/N hissed.

“It was the only way to get you to believe that I didn’t love you anymore!” Soobin argued, standing up. “All these years, I never stopped thinking about you.”

“Bullshit, why’d you break up with me?”

“Because I was ready to drop everything to marry you!” Soobin said, his hands flinging around in anger.

Y/N froze, speechless.

“I loved you too much, I thought maybe that’s bad for me. I was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Soobin whispered.

“Then-Then, why?” Y/N asked as Soobin walked forward and pulled her in once more, leaning his forehead on hers.

Soobin sighed and pressed another kiss on her lips.

Y/N pulled away, breathing heavily. “Soobin, why?”

“Y/N, I never wanted to let you go, but the hardest decisions always seem like the good ones.” Soobin explained, tucking a stray lock of hair behind Y/N’s head.

“Oh,” Y/N replied, swallowing a lump on her throat. “Was i never a good decision to you?”

Soobin shook his head. “I don’t know. It was so easy to love you, maybe that’s why I thought you were bad for me.”

Y/N sighed and pushed him away gently. “No.”

“Y/N?”

Y/N stopped, opening the curtain to the cot and turning to face Soobin with pursed lips.

“You know, I wouldve done all that I could to hold on to you, but when I saw you with her, I thought you wanted me to go. It’s nice to know you didn’t.”

“I never wanted you to go, I still dont.” Soobin said, reaching out to grasp Y/N’s hand.

“I don’t believe you anymore.”

Y/N gave a sad smile, placing a soft kiss on Soobin’s hand before turning and leaving him alone.

Next to them was the distinct sound of a heart monitor flatlining.

Y/N heaved, inserting a tube in the patient’s chest after making a fast incision.

Y/N waited for a while until the patient stabilized.

“Keep him in observation. Once Dr. Seo clears up wheel him in and say he had tension pneumothorax.” Y/N yawned and patted the nurse at the back. “He’ll be alright for now.”

“Thank you, Y/N. I’ll take over now.” Taehyun says, ruffling Y/N’s hair as Hyuka enters the cot.

“Y/N, you look horrible.” Hyuka gasps, causing Taehyun to snort in laughter.

“Thanks, cousin. Nice to hear.” Y/N replied, voice laced heavily with sarcasm.

Hyuka held his hands up. “I’m just saying.”

“He’s not wrong,” Beomgyu sighed, entering the cots and leaning on the bed. “You should get some sleep.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m serious.” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow. “You look like you’ll drop dead any minute. I’d rather you get a nap before you become an extra patient here.”

Y/N pursed her lips as she peeked out the cot, running her eyes through the emergency room.

It was a little bit calmer now, a stark difference from the chaotic messy room it was earlier.

“You guys will be fine?”

“We got it,” Hyuka smiled.

“Go to the break room, get some sleep.” Beomgyu pushed Y/N lightly. “We’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, sheesh. Will do.” Y/N shook her head and started to trek her way to the second floor.

It was now silent, the break room situated between patient’s private rooms for peace and quiet while doctors take their rests.

Y/N entered the room silently, her eyes locking over a lone figure laying down on one of the bunk beds—an arm covering his eyes.

As she closed the door, Soobin sat up slowly.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Did Beomgyu and the others put you up to this?” Y/N sighed.

“No,” Soobin shook his head. “But Yeonjun sent me up to get some rest, and I knew it was a matter of time before Beomgyu sent you up, too. So, I waited.”

“So, you waited.” Y/N hummed. “Soobin, what exactly do you want from me?”

Soobin stayed silent as he stood up and walked closer. “I want you.”

Y/N turned abruptly, lips pursed. “You had me, you let me go.”

“Yeah, well I’m not making the same mistake again.” Soobin said, pulling her closer. “Y/N, I know I still have you.”

“Soobin.”

“Down there, in the ER,” Soobin asked. “You kissed me back. Was that real?”

“That was real.” Y/N replied curtly.

“And you wanted to kiss me, right?”

“Right?”

“And you still love me, right?” Soobin asked desperately.

“I do,” Y/N closed her eyes, feeling Soobin lean closer.

“Y/N, I want you back.”

Soobin swooped down to plant a kiss on Y/N’s lips, but she only sighed and turned her head.

She walked over to a nearby bunk, shrugging her coat off. “It’s not that easy to forget everything, Soobin.”

“I never stopped loving you. It was always you.” Soobin said, following her and laying a hand on her waist. “Please, let me prove it to you.”

Y/N turned in his arms and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m scared of you—I’m scared you’ll turn around and go once you realize I’m not something you want.”

“No, not anymore. I know it’s you.” Soobin shook his head and placed his hands on her cheeks. “The greatest mistake of my life taught me that sometimes, the best decisions are the easiest things to do—and it’s so easy for me to say I’m in love with you.”

Y/N smiled softly at Soobin before leaning up to kiss him.

Soobin laid Y/N down on the bed, not breaking the kiss as he crawled on top of her.

Y/N pulled away and ran a finger across his cheeks.

“I’m supposed to get some rest, Dr. Choi.”

“So was I,” Soobin smiled, satisfied and happy as he plopped his body down next to Y/N and pulling her close.

Y/N lifted her head to place it on his chest, laying her hand above his heart.

Y/N smiled at the rapid beat of Soobin’s heart as he tightened his grip on her waist, burying his face in her hair.

“Soobin, what happens tomorrow?” Y/N asked, starting to trace abstract lines on his chest.

“I don’t know, baby.” Soobin smiled in her hair. “All I know is that it’s still you and me.”

Y/N smiled burying her head in his chest. “I still don’t forgive you.”

Soobin smiled, the pout in Y/N’s voice and the way she snuggled in his chest was a clear indication that somehow—even just a little—she did.

“I know,” Soobin hummed. “but I’m halfway there.”

BONUS:

The morning after the emergency, Soobin drove Y/N home.

He absolutely refused to let her go without at least one goodbye kiss—or three—demanding that she free up her night for a date.

He won her over by more kisses.

After seeing Y/N practically make out with Dr. Choi Soobin, the tallest bachelor doctor you can find in Seoul Medical Center, her roommates were shocked.

To say the least, various questions was thrown left and right about Soobin.

(“Does he kiss nice?” “Yeah, his lips are soft.” “How tall is he?” “6”2, but you can literally just ask him this.” “I thought you were dating Choi Beomgyu?” “I never was, but I guess I’m dating Choi Soobin now.” “Is his dick big?” “if it’s just like I remember, then it’s huge, yes, but I don’t see why you have to ask me this.”)

At exactly 5 in the afternoon, Y/N shot awake from the alarm she set.

“7pm. See you, babe. ;)” was the short text waiting for her—sent at exactly 3:30 PM.

Immediately, she dashed into the shower.

Afterwards, she took the best outfit she could find.

At exactly 6:48, she settled into her couch and waited.

As 7:00 sharp rolled in, there were three knocks on the door.

When Y/N opened the door, she was greeted with a bouquet of roses and a smiling Soobin.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” Y/N smiled brightly, leaning forward and kissing him gently. “These are beautiful.”

“I know, just like you.”

“Cheesy.” Y/N hummed with a smile, placing another kiss on his lips before setting it on a nearby coffee table.

“I know you love it,” Soobin grinned as he intertwined their hands. “Am I forgiven yet, baby?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and biting her lip. “but you’re halfway there.”

172 notes · View notes

cometorub · 4 years

Text

(SUB 09) Kayda answering: -> this survey ❤️

Next post - 02/05/2020 - 1am GMT - 8pm EDT

Delay of posts due to Christmas + family

1. What is your name?

Kayda

2. How old are you?

3. What’s your sexual orientation?

Pansexual

4. Your pubic hair?

Trimmed

5. Are you virgin?

Nope

6. How old were you when you first masturbated?

7. How did you discover masturbation?

Having sex with a girl

8. How old were you when you had your first orgasm?

9. Can you tell us more about your first orgasm? How did it happen?

Me and this girl were “scissoring” and all the sudden i felt this wave of i couldnt even describe i was gasping it felt so good

10. How often do you masturbate?

Everyday

11. When was the last time you masturbated?

2 hrs ago lol

12. Do you masturbate to any stimulus?

Yes my hitachi wand and some dildos

13. What do you think about?

Feeling so good or having someone eat me out

14. What’s the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?

This guy ive been talking to

15. Have you ever walked in on or caught someone masturbating? (If yes, please tell us a little more about it)

I walked in on my bestfriend masturbating she was rubbing her clit in the bed biting her lip so i climbed in and went underneath the covers and ate her out

16. Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating? (If yes, please tell us a little more about it)

My best friend and her bf we all had a threesome

17. Have you ever had cyber sex?

Yes

18. Have you ever had phone sex?

Yeah

19. Have you ever had a wet dream?

Yepp

20. What’s your favorite method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)

My wand and anal vibe

21. Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?

Loud

22. Do you ever masturbate in pjs? If so what type and how?

My pjs shorts

23. Do you ever touch any other part of your body whilst you masturbate?

My breasts

24. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?

Yes

25. Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?

Yeah at sex parties

26. Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?

Yepp

27. Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?

My best friend and some guys

28. Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)

Yes my bestie and her bf and a few other girls

29. Do you enjoy watching others masturbate?

Yes, boys and girls

30. Do you enjoy being watched while masturbating?

Yeah

31. Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?

A few of my friends

32. Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?

Yes definitely they seem okay with it

33. Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?

I tell people why not, its a normal thing to do

34. Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?

Working

35. What’s your most embarrassing masturbation story?

When i was living with my mom shes walked in on my rubbing my clit

36. What’s your funniest masturbation story?

When my bestie walked in we had a laugh about it. Before she got on her knees and started eating me out

38. Have you ever masturbated in unique or strange places?

Usually in my bed but im a nympho so i do it in a bathroom at work. Bathroom at college. At my besties house while shes sleeping

39. Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?

Hairbrush handle, kitchen untesils

40. Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?

Depends on how much im in the mood sometimes i can come under 1min others 10-15 min

41. What’s the easiest way for you to get off?

Wand with a dildo

42. Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)

Extreme toy use sometimes but mostly clitoral stimulation

43. Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)

definitely anal

44. Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?

Yes i love anal so i use both my holes

45. Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?

Yes or i have my gag ball in

46. Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)

Yes especially if im told to though id rather just cum

47. What position do you typically masturbate in?

On my back or doggy style

48. How do you react when you orgasm, arch your back, pull faces? Etc

My eyes roll back, my legs shake, body shakes

49. Describe how an orgasm feels to you when you cum? If possible

Its the most euphoric most desired thing in the world i cant describe how it makes me feel

50. Describe a typical masturbation session.

I start with my wand on my clit at level one as soon as i get really wet i take it off my clit and fuck myself a little with the dildo before add the wand back on before i know it i start squirting on the bed

51. How long do you usually last?

5mins

52. What’s the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?

I use the method above while there was an anal vibe in and i came maybe a 45sec into it

53. What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?

2-3 hours

54. What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?

55. How wet do you get? Do you leak fluids when you orgasm? (If yes, please describe)

Yes i can squirt but im also very wet like makes a mess on the bed without squirting

56. If you are older than 35, how has masturbation changed for you over the years?

N/A

57. Do you want to tell us something more about your masturbation experiences?

I have my vibe in at school and have orgasms in class, at the mall, in a library

58. Are you sexually aroused taking this survey?

Yes I am

59. Are you going to masturbate tonight after taking this survey?

Definitely

Thank you so much for your answers! ❤

You’re a female, go take part? -> click here

If you want me to add some more questions feel free to message me and make sure to reblog this. Thank you.

We want to know more about the way our female followers masturbate.

You can answer as many questions as you want. I’d love to hear from you!

Here’s the survey if you wish to share your answers on how you do it —> click here ❤️

113 notes · View notes

btsqualityy · 6 years

Text

BTS Pregnancy Series #19: Labor and Delivery Part 1

Kim Seokjin

When you and Jin arrived to the hospital, you were automatically admitted based on the fact that you were contracting so much. Once you got settled in your room, all you and Jin had to do was wait for your doctor to come and talk to you.

“Jinnie, what if something’s wrong?” You asked as you looked over at him.

“Jagi, you have to stay positive, alright? It may be nothing,” Jin said, and you nodded. Just then, your doctor walked into the room.

“Hi Y/N, Jin,” he greeted and you both replied. “So, as you both know, it’s not normal for you to be contracting like this, this early on. However, we have a way to try and stop your labor.”

“How?” You wondered.

“There’s a medicine called terbutaline. It helps slows down the contracting of the uterus and it can buy us a few more days, in order to let your baby stay in for as long as possible,” he explained.

“Whatever you have to do, we’re ok with it,” Jin agreed and you nodded.

“Alright then. Y/N, we’re gonna get an IV going and hopefully it’ll work,” your doctor said before walking out of the room.

“Yeah, hopefully it does,” you muttered as you felt another contraction coming on.

Min Yoongi

“Yoong!” You yelled out from your place, squatting in front of the couch. A few seconds later, Yoongi came running into the room.

“What baby?” He asked.

“Help me up please,” you said, holding your hands out to him. Chuckling, he grabbed your hands and slowly pulled you up until you were standing up straight again.

“Got sick of squatting?” He teased, making you hit his arm.

“Nah, it was working but my contractions have kind of plateaued,” you said and he nodded in understanding.

“Wanna walk around a bit? See if that helps?” He wondered and you agreed. After Yoongi helped you put on your shoes and jacket, he did the same for himself before you both walked outside of your house. He wrapped one arm around your shoulders and you intertwined your fingers with his that were hanging over your shoulder.

“We’re really about to be parents baby,” you giddily said, making Yoongi chuckle as you both walked down the block from your house.

“Yeah. It’s a little nerve-wrecking, if I’m honest,” he admitted.

“You’re gonna be great father baby. I wouldn’t have even married you if I didn’t think so,” you told him and he flashed his gummy smile at you. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to the side of your head. As you both continued to walk, you felt your contractions coming more often and much more painfully than they had been before. Your grip on Yoongi’s hand tightened and he knew what was happening.

“Time to head to the hospital?” He asked and you nodded with replying verbally.

Kim Namjoon

“Can’t you go a little faster hyung?” Namjoon begged Jin as you both sat in the backseat of his car.

“Jin, you don’t have to go any faster,” you told him before Jin even had a chance to reply.

“But you’re in pain jagi,” Namjoon said.

“I’m about to give birth to a human being. Of course I’m in pain,” you hissed. “But there’s no need to potentially get into an accident over it.” Jin nodded after looking at you both in the rear view mirror and proceeded to get you both to the hospital as soon as possible.

Once you got there and changed into a hospital gown, a nurse checked you and found that you were already 6 centimeters dilated. You wanted to cry when you heard that, because you were already in so much pain and your contractions began to pick up even more. In order to distract you from the pain, Namjoon tried to keep you talking.

“We never talked about what we think the baby is,” he whispered as he wiped the sweat from your forehead with a damp rag.

“I think it’s a boy,” you smiled weakly.

“Really?” He chuckled and you nodded. “Well, I think it’s a girl.”

“Of course you do,” you rolled your eyes playfully. Before Namjoon could reply, another contraction came and you had to bear down and focus in order to get through it. Namjoon could tell you were really starting to struggle and he could only hope that the baby would be born soon.

Jung Hoseok

Your brother drove as fast as he could through the heart of Seoul, as you sat in the backseat with your sister in law and nephew. You were trying to focus on breathing through your contractions as your sister in law kept trying to get in touch with Hobi.

“I can’t get in touch with him or Jimin,” she said and instead of replying, you grabbed the phone from her and decided to call someone who you knew always answered his phone.

“Hello?” Tae answered.

“Tae,” you breathed, as another contraction started.

“Hey noona! What’s up? We just got done with promotions,” he said.

“Tell Hobi,” you paused as the contraction wrapped around your back. “I’m headed to the hospital.”

“The babies are coming?” He shouted and you moaned out in pain. You handed the phone back to your sister in law and she finished giving the details to Tae for him to tell Hobi. After 10 minutes, your brother finally pulled up in front of the hospital. Both he and your sister in law helped you out of the car and as you were walking into the hospital, you heard your name being yelled.

“Y/N-ah!” You looked over to your right and saw Hobi jumping out of a van. He ran over to you and you opened your arms, hugging him tightly.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t with you,” he apologized as he left kisses all over your face.

“No, no, it’s ok,” you smiled, happy to see him. “You’re here now,” you said as he wrapped an arm around you and you both walked into the hospital.

Park Jimin

After you and Jimin got to the hospital and you got settled in your hospital room, it seemed like the dial on your contractions got turned up to the highest level. You could barely speak during a contraction, and even after it passed, you were left breathless.

“Jimin, I know I said I wanted to try this with no medication, but this shit hurts,” you groaned after a contraction passed. Jimin sighed from his place next to you and he tightened his hold on your hand.

“Are you sure jagi?” He asked, just to make sure. Just then, another contraction hit you and you literally yelled out loud this time from how painful it was. After 5 seconds, the contractions ended and you threw your head back as you tried to gather your breath.

“I’m more than sure,” you nodded and Jimin nodded before going to get your doctor. After discussing your options, you decided to get an epidural. Jimin held your hand as they inserted the catheter into your back and after waiting 25 minutes, your contractions had become dull twinges of pain.

“Oh, thank God,” you sighed as you relaxed into the bed. Jimin let out a sigh of relief as well, because he was so happy that you weren’t in any overwhelming pain anymore.

Kim Taehyung

“Hello Taehyung,” your midwife greeted after Tae opened the door for her. He held the door open wider and she walked inside. Tae led her into the living room, where you were coming down from a contraction.

“Hi Y/N,” she smiled at you and you did your best to return one to her. “I see things have gotten started. Why don’t you let me check you to see how far you’ve dilated?” She said and you nodded. Tae sat next to you and held your hand as she checked your cervix.

“You’re only dilated to 4 right now Y/N. Now, if you want baby to be born today, you’re gonna have to keep working at it, alright?” She instructed, making you and Tae nod in agreement. You decided that you wanted to sit on the yoga ball that you had gotten specifically for labor and Tae ran off to go get it. After helping you sit down on it, Tae kneeled in front of you to make sure you were steady on it.

“You alright?” He checked in and you shook your head.

“I’m a little afraid,” you admitted. “If the contractions feel this bad now and I’m only dilated to 4, I can only imagine how they’ll feel as I get closer to 10.”

“It’ll be alright jagiya. I’ll be right here the whole time, yeah? I won’t let anything bad happen to you,” he assured, and you nodded.

Jeon Jungkook

“We’re having a baby ladies and gentleman,” Jungkook smiled as he focused the camera on you. You tried to hit him from your place on the hospital bed, but he moved back before you could.

“You know, you’re supposed to be offering moral support. I am in labor right now,” you laughed.

“I am! Your contractions aren’t even that bad right now and you’re only dilated to 3,” he said. “We have a while to wait.”

That ‘a while to wait’ ended up turning into 14 hours and the next thing you knew, it was 12:56am. Your contractions had become much more powerful, you had dilated to 8, and you were starting to struggle a little bit.

“You’re doing so good jagi,” Jungkook praised as your last contraction ended. You pointed to the cup in his hand and he nodded, feeding you an ice chip to keep your mouth from going dry.

“It’s so painful Kook,” you whimpered, almost on the verge of tears.

“Do you want to get in the tub now? You’re almost at 10,” he said and you nodded quickly.

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kara-dolan · 5 years

Text

Coachella -Day 1 ~Part 1~

A/N ~ hola it be a while since i have posted but whats up hahaha i am so so sorry ive had writers block and ms. vivi aka @notanotherdolantwinsblog was moving during the time she agreed to help with this so once both of our lives calm tf down things will return to normal scheduling.

Word Count~ 4,309

Warnings ~ Soft feels, Fluff, Fun, Flirting?, Possible use of cannabis aka weed

Summary~ Fun and music festivals with your best friend? What could possibly happen? Oh right running into anyone and everyone you adore looking absolutely devin with sweaty bodies touching and bass booming under your feet. But what adventures are to come when Y/N and Viviana come face to face with Coachella ?

“Viviana I can’t believe you actually got tickets for Coachella. I can’t believe the house you got for Coachella weekend. I can’t believe that we are here!” I say excitedly gripping her arm.

“Bitch, I can’t believe that we might run into the Dolan Twins!” she says to me smiling.

“Okay yes that is a huge plus but, Day 1 will be the most exciting especially since it’s the first time we’ll be going!” I say releasing her walking up to the house.

She shook her head at me and opened the door revealing the Greek interior architecture. I walk in setting my hand bag on the ground taking everything in.

“Holy shi- is this real life right now?” I questioned looking up and spinning around to view everything.

“If you think this is amazing just wait till you see the backyard and bedrooms, not to mention the bathrooms.” Viviana says.

I looked at her and smiled then found my way to the stairs that spiraled up to the bedroom I was staying in. It was completely white with a sliding door that led out to the balcony that overlooked the backyard. Below me I saw the pool that had a huge baby blue clam bed next to the pool with a pearl shaped pillow that was silver and sparkled in the sun.

“V, I am never leaving.” I say looking away from the pool and up at the view of trees and mountains that were decorated by the sun’s beautiful rays and wind causing them to sway.

“Okay, sure, you say that every time you visit a new place. Watch once we get to Coachella you’ll never want to leave there either. Speaking of which, we have to get unpacked and set up for tomorrow after that we can get pizza and just chill.” Viviana says walking out onto the balcony.

“Ha. Yeah, I fall in love with places too easily. But, have you seen the view and the trees? It’s so beautiful. We should camp outside tonight and just watch the stars.” I say leaning against the railing watching the beautiful scenery.

“You’re fucking crazy. There’s bugs and animals. No way in hell am I sleeping out here, especially the day before Coachella starts. I am not getting dirt in my pores and you shouldn’t either,” she says stepping away to go back inside.

I sigh and look down pushing myself off the railing and going inside to unpack.

It took about an hour to get everything unpacked an organized, I had brought makeup and wigs, so I didn’t have to dye my Y/H/C hair and damage it. I also brought any and all facial cleansers because we were going to be in the desert for 3 days. I had hung all 3 outfits up in the closet and folded extra clothes I brought because no way in hell was I not going to shower and be forced to wear glitter covered outfits for the week that we were going to be staying at the house. Y/F/N and I had gotten walkie talkies set up on a private channel to find each other if we got lost and 3 cases of water so we could take 5 bottles of water with us for each day. After everything was unpacked and organized I made my way down the spiraling stairs and through the living room and into the kitchen where V was sitting at the island scrolling through her phone.

“Hey, you order the pizza yet?” I asked going to the fridge to get a water.

“No, I was waiting on you. I did see some updates on Twitter though, involving the twins and well, the drama is crazy.” she yawned out.

“When is it not though? Like honestly people need to leave them alone. But let’s not get into it. I’ll order a pepperoni and Hawaiian pizza and set up a movie.” I say after taking a drink of water.

“Sounds good. I’m getting blankets and pillows to fort up the living area.” She yelled to me running upstairs.

I smile and pull my phone out of my pocket and order the pizzas.

After the pizza arrived, we watched a random movie as we ate in the fort. Halfway through the movie and one pizza gone we fell asleep surrounded by pillows and blankets. The next thing I knew my phone was going off at 6 am which resulted in Viviana hitting me in the face with a pillow followed by groaning which signaled me to turn it off. I grabbed my phone and stopped the alarm. I made my way to my room and changed into some shorts and a loose tank and pulled on running shoes. I quietly made my way out of the house and into the woods near the park for a morning run.

I found myself at an overlook. The view was impeccable with the sun rising and colors blending together, putting me in a trance. The trance was broken when I notice movement below, a tall broad figure jogging through the hiking trail. The figure belonged to a man, as the sun rose more his golden shoulders glistened with sweat, his hair flopping with each step. It was like the trance from the sunrise was transferred to him. I couldn’t stop watching him until he disappeared deeper into the trail.

“What the hell was that?” I asked myself. I shook it off and ran back towards the house. By time I got back it was 7 am and I was drenched in sweat. I took a shower once I got back. After my shower, I put on my first Coachella outfit. I was wearing a white tank top with strings that tied in front of my chest with high waisted black shorts and a hunter green jacket. I put on black ankle boots and accessorized with a necklace that reached my waist.

Once I was dressed I applied my makeup, natural smokey eye and maroon lips. I put on my pink Ombre white high pony wig and grecian leaf new forehead crown. I went to the kitchen and saw Viviana wearing a black crop top with maroon jean shorts and black knee-high boots that had fishnets underneath. Her hair was loosely curled draping around her shoulders, she had dark smokey eye and a light pink lip.

“Okay, V. I see you.” I squeal out and she looks at me and laughs.

“Stop… we have to get going soon if we want to make it on time.”

“Okay. Okay. I am so ready to see Kyle perform today. Oh my gosh and The Neighborhood, St. Vincent, SZA, and The Weeknd. Just today is going to be crazy.” I say while packing up our bags for Day 1.

“For sure, not to mention how many social media stars and celebrities we will be seeing there.” V says taking her bag. I nod.

“We should get breakfast on the way there. I mean it is only 9 am. Coachella gates don’t open till 11.”

“You just want to go to an acai bowl place to see if you can run into Grayson” She teased.

I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Maybe it’s a little true but if we run into Grayson we also run into Ethan…” I wink and nudge her. She laughs and grabs her car keys.

“Fine, you win. Using my love for Ethan against me. That isn’t fair.”

I scrunch my nose at her and smile. After our playful teasing ended we headed out and went to the closest acai place. Once we arrived we saw girls squealing and crying. I looked over at Viviana and raised my eyebrow while smiling.

“No. We are getting the acai bowls and going.” She scolded me.

“Ugh, fine. I won’t go and ask them if they are acting like that ‘cause of the twins. Mainly ‘cause I already know they were here… thank you, Instagram… but fine let’s get the bowls and go.” I replied rolling my eyes.

“You’re entirely something else. In a good way.” She reassured me.

“Thanks, I guess.” I say while laughing.

We were waiting in line to get the acai bowls when I realized everyone was staring at us.

“Well this isn’t awkward or anything.” I mumbled out.

“What?” she questioned.

“We are the only ones dressed like this here. Seriously, everyone is wearing normal clothes. We need to hurry up and get the hell out of here.” I say looking around getting uncomfortable.

“Why? We look hot. Stop trying to cover up. Let them stare it shows them what they can’t have.” She says making me loosen my grip on my jacket and letting it slip down my arms. “Okay. I got this. We got this.” I say smiling and nodding.

We got our acai bowls and left. We were about 5 mins away from Coachella grounds and we had finished our acai bowls. Now we were just blasting music and getting hype as we got closer to the festival. We pulled into the most available parking spot. Once V put the car in park I got out throwing my bag over my shoulder and adjusting my VIP wristbands.

“I can’t believe were actually here...” I say shutting the car door.

“Neither can I. Now let’s go before we miss any performances!” She shouts while pulling my arms and entire body towards the entrance.

“Okay! Okay! I can walk on my own!” I laugh out.

“I know just hurry the hell up!” she shrieked out and took off running. I shook my head and ran after her, I finally caught up at the entrance because we had to scan our wristbands.

We were finally inside, I grabbed at V tapping her like crazy.

“Look, Look, We’re here. Oh my gosh we’re here” I screamed out.

We ran to the Sahara stage until it was time to head to the main stage. When we reached the main stage Los Angeles Azules were performing and we saw Bryant recording some of the performance on his phone. I look over at V who was already looking at me. We walked closer to Bryant but not close enough for him to notice, we stood there enjoying the performance.

“We literally just saw the Yodeling Walmart Boy perform with Whethan and now we see Bryant right here. What is happening?” I whisper to Viviana. She laughed.

“Life. Life is happening and giving us this amazing opportunity.” She whispered back. “Opportunities?” I question at the last minute when she bumped into me causing me to stumble back only to be caught by someone.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry. My fri-” I stopped once I saw who caught me.

“It’s fine.” He said chuckling. I stood up.

“Sorry, again. Thank you for catching me though.”

I turn my neck to glare at V who was smirking.

“No problem. Not everyday I get to catch a beautiful girl from falling.” He flirted which made me look back to him.

“I think I did fall though… Umm… sorry. Bad attempt and now I am making a bigger fool of myself. Bye.” I say nervously while laughing a bit while turning to walk away.

He grabbed my right hand with his left spinning me around.

“You aren’t making a fool of yourself. I’m Grayson.” He smiled down at me.

“I know, but I’m Y/N and the person behind me is my best friend Viviana.” I say looking up at him through my lashes.

He smiled down at me and I looked away and as soon as I did Bryant came over

“Hey Gray we should go find E and get more photos.”

“For sure. Y/N want to come?” he asked me. I looked at him bewildered.

“You mean like go with you and Bryant to find Ethan?” I questioned. He smiled and nodded “That’s the general idea. You can even bring um... V- Vivi-”

“Viviana.” She interrupted him. “We would love to go with you. Right Y/N?” she nudged me “Oh yeah. Totally, for sure.” I mumbled out.

“Great. Yo, Bry, Y/N and Viviana are going to come with.” He shouted towards Bryant.

Bryant smiled and nodded, we all began walking away from the main stage to find Ethan. We found him by the food trucks drooling over the acai bowls.

“Ethan!” Grayson called out to him pulling his attention from the trucks. He ran over to join us “Yo Gray. Who’s this?” he asked.

“I’m Y/N. Just met Grayson when my friend Viviana “accidently” bumped into me and Grayson caught me” I said smiling a bit while air quoting.

“Oh cool. I’m Ethan.”

“This is Viviana or V. By the way.” I say pulling Viviana’s’ arm.

“Oh. Hi” she waved shyly. I heard everyone near the main stage start chanting Really, Really, Really, Yeah,

“V, we got to go. Kyle is performing now!” I grab at her arm. “Sorry guys. Just been waiting all day to see him.” I yell over my shoulder as we run to the main stage.

We reached the main stage finally.

“Y/N are you stupid you just left Ethan and Grayson. We aren’t going to ever see them again.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Grayson loves SuperDuperKyle.” Ethan whispered between us which made me jump.

“E you can’t just scare them like that.” Grayson said coming from behind me smiling. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Glad you guys could join us” I smiled at him and started jumping and chanting with the rest of the crowd.

“Don’t Wanna Fall in Love” played and I looked at Gray and smiled.

“Yo, you gonna show us some moves, possibly the same ones from the warehouse?” I asked him.

“I remember that I gave him so much shit about it.” Ethan said laughing. I rolled my eyes.

“You did great. Just ignore him.” I looked at him placing my hand on his shoulder.

He grabbed my hand and spun me around in front of him, he gripped my waist and rested his chin on top of my head. We swayed to the rest of the set until iSpy came on and we had to move to avoid a mosh pit. We gave up on finding a new spot, so Grayson offered to go get ice cream for us, I decided to wait with Ethan and Viviana. I was listening to V and E talk about which bands they were excited to see, I left them alone to talk and headed over to the food trucks to see if Grayson needed help. When I saw him, he was talking to a girl.

“Hey, I know you from YouTube. I love your videos and they’re super inspiring.” She said to him awkwardly laughing a little.

“Really? Thank you so much that means a lot.” He replied to her smiling, “Want anything?” He asked her pointing to the menu.

“Oh my god no. Of course not. Thank you” She said sweetly.

“Oh okay.” He said, and she gave him a hug which he returned.

“See you around” he said.

“Yeah see ya” she called out as she walked off.

I walked over to him and smiled at him.

“Hey, why are you looking at me like that?” He asked.

“Okay, it’s kind of weird…but, I like seeing how you interact with fans.” I explained.

“It’s an amazing experience I appreciate you guys. If I can make you guys happy even just taking a picture or talking to you it is completely worth it.” He says while paying for the ice cream. “Grayson, you literally just looking at us is enough to make us happy” I giggled out. He laughed and handed me the ice cream he got for me

“It’s kind of shocking to hear that. Not entirely used to this still.” I smiled at him.

“I mean majority of your fan base is female which you should know from tour. You’re attractive and athletic and you have a great personality at least from what I can tell from your videos and well now that I’ve met you and hung out with you. I honestly can’t believe that I am here… That I even got to meet you…” I say staring up at him losing my words.

“Yeah… I don’t meet a lot of people who are quite like you though.” He finished looking down at me. I laughed breaking the gaze.

“I bet. Not a lot of girls would walk away from you to go and enjoy a music performance like 4 minutes after meeting you” he grabbed my hand as we walked back over to Ethan and Viviana. “You’re not going to do that, again right?” He asked.

“Hmmmm… I don’t know. If I do what are you going to do about it?” I ask cocking my eyebrow while smiling.

“Guess I have to stay close then.” He let go of my hand and draped his arm carefully around my neck pulling me closer towards him and I wrapped my arm around his waist.

“Yo, Gray. Where we headed now?” Ethan asked him taking note on how close me and Grayson were.

“I don’t know. Where to now, Y/N?” he inquired.

“I kind of want and need to see The Neighborhood.” I say looking up to Grayson licking the ice cream from the cone.

“Alright, The Neighborhood it is. Let’s go.”

We walked back over to the mainstage where Kyle was performing, and The Neighborhood was now setting up. Bryant met back up with us from taking photos of other YouTubers that were here.

One of the first songs they played was Scary Love which I adored and sang along with every word. Grayson just watched me the entire time and spun me around a couple times. Ethan and Viviana were exchanging numbers which made me think about giving Grayson mine. He noticed my dancing falter and pulled me into him. I stumbled into his chest in which he took the opportunity to hug my waist as I collected myself.

“You okay?” He asked me. I nodded.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” I retorted reaching my arms around his neck. He chuckled.

“No reason…”

I pulled away from him when I heard Daddy Issues come on.

“Hey, Grayson can I borrow y/n for a minute?” V asked pulling my hand. He nodded, and I stumbled trying to keep up with her as she dragged me away

“What is going on?” I questioned her.

“Okay so Ethan and I were talking, and I somehow talked him into coming back to the house later tonight, but he wants to bring Grayson too. I was wondering if you could keep Grayson busy while I try to get closer to Ethan?” she pleaded.

“For sure. Like it’s honestly so weird how close we have gotten in just the past couple hours that we’ve been here, and we haven’t even had a ‘get to know you’ talk it is just a comfortable thing as if we’ve known each other for years. I wouldn’t necessarily call it keeping him busy though as much as just hanging out with him and getting to know him more.” I respond.

“Ahh yay! You’re the best.” She squealed while hugging me then running back to Ethan.

I smiled and rolled my eyes I looked around for a little before making my way back to Grayson, when I got closer to the main stage where The Neighborhood was performing Sweater Weather I noticed Grayson wasn’t there anymore and neither was V or E.

“Okay. Don’t really know what to do. I literally just saw V though.” I thought out loud.

“Yo make sure you get some of those cotton sticks!” I heard Ethan shout from behind me. I turned around so quick.

“Ethan what the hell are cotton sticks?” I yelled to him while laughing noticing the same girl who was talking to Gray earlier laugh.

“Cotton candy.” He said smiling like a 3-year-old getting called adorable.

“Okay then… Where’s Gray and V?” I asked him.

“Ryan met back up with us so Gray is with them by the disco ball trash can. I am on my way back to them. Come on.” He said nodding his head over towards where they all were.

“Ethan wait up!” the girl called after him in which he made a confused face.

“I’ll see you when you get over there.” I say walking away slowly just listening in on the conversation.

“What’s up...?” he asked.

“The sky, pfft… you’re the best youtubers who’ve lived on planet earth.” She said after a small awkward moment. “Oh, oops... That was cringe.”

At this point I was half way out of earshot.

“Are you enjoying ‘Chella’?” he questioned.

“Heck yeah. It’s awesome.”

I stopped listening when I saw Grayson adjusting the part of his ripped jean armband.

“Hey, there you guys are. Kind of wondered off for a while. Sorry.” I say which made Grayson look up from his armband.

“Hey. I was going to look for you, but V said you would find us.” He said pulling me into a hug. “Well okay then someone missed you.” Ethan chuckled wrapping his arm around Viviana’s waist.

“I mean can you blame me?” Gray asked.

“Oh my gosh. No. Stop. Both of you.” I say pulling away from Gray laughing.

“Oh, by the way this is Ryan. Ryan this is Y/N.” Ethan introduced us.

“Hey. I actually know who Ryan is. You guys have collabed before and it was fucking hilarious I loved it.” I blurt out.

“The amount that Y/N watches your old videos is crazy.” V interjected.

“Hey! They’re funny, leave me alone. You freaking binge watch them with me you have no room to talk.” I defended.

Grayson and Ethan laughed at us

“Oh yeah., you guys want to laugh? Cause I have things I can say that will make you cringe instantly.” A teasing smile played on my lips after I spoke those words. The twins exchanged a worried look.

“Here are your ‘Cotton sticks’ Ethan.” Bryant returned with at least 8 of them and his camera. “Bryant do you want some help with all of that?” I asked, and he nodded.

I took a couple of them and handed one to V.

“Cotton candy yum.” Grayson said taking a bite out of one that was in my hand from over my shoulder.

“Hey! If you wanted one you could have just asked.” I smiled at him holding one out for him to take.

“Nah, I like it when you hold it.” He licked his lips and grinned.

I was going to respond but Ethan came over and took 3 of them from me leaving the one Gray bit from.

“Well okay then…” I say as Grayson takes another bite. “Damn I might as well just hand feed the cotton candy to you” I joked.

“That’s a fantastic idea.” He said while smiling at me, I shook my head

“Are you serious?” I asked raising my eyebrow.

He nodded while grabbing a piece of cotton candy and holding it against my lips I shook my head no.

“I’m not eating that.” I laughed out

“Yes you are” He grinned now

“No… I’m really not. Grayson, I mean it. Oh my gosh stop.” I backed away from him while laughing.

I ran around our group as he chased me playfully, he ended up grabbing my waist from behind and spinning me around.

“Grayson!” I managed to yell out in the middle of my fits of giggles.

“What?” He asked putting me down, so I could face him. Once I turned around, my eyes immediately made contact with his and I was entranced. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer not breaking eye contact until he looked at my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips gently against his while standing on my tippy toes. He placed his hands on my waist ho

lding me steady and kissed me back.

We were in our own little world, unbothered and carefree smiling into the kiss.

“Grayson!” Ethan screamed which made us break the kiss.

“What E?” He asked annoyed.

“You know we can’t do that. Not here. Fans might see.”

“He’s right Gray… Look me and Vivi will go and check out some more bands. We can meet back up during the Weeknd’s performance.” I say placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Come on bro.” Ethan said dragging Grayson away letting my hand slide down his arm.

Vi pulled me back to the main stage where Vince Staples was setting up to perform. We were having fun dancing around like no one was watching which they weren’t, after the set we went to use the bathrooms.

“What are we doing after we leave?” Vivi asked.

“Well I know for sure we are going to go home but maybe on the way stop for some In-N-Out.” I answered.

“In-N-Out sounds amazing.” I hear Grayson suddenly say from behind me as he wrapped his arms around my waist and resting his chin upon my shoulder.

“Grayson, we talked about this.” Ethan warned pulling him off of me.

“Right sorry E.”

“Okay so I guess you guys are coming with us after to get In-N-Out too?” I questioned. We all agreed to it after me and Vivi went to the bathroom and were walking back to the main stage to see SZA perform.

On the way back to the stage I tripped over my own feet and stumbled into a bleach blonde girl wearing a two piece purple bikini.

“Oh my gosh I am so so sorry-” I say going to help her up.

“Wait… you're Tana Mongeau-”

#dolan twins #ethan dolan x reader #grayson dolan x reader #fanfiction #grayson dolan #ethan dolan #y/n #tana mongeau #tana mongeau x reader #bryant eslava #Viviana #notanotherdolantwinsblog #coachella 2018 #i am so so sorry this is this late #smut will most def be in next chapter tho

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the--gay-agenda · 5 years

Text

my platonic gf made me do this (even tho she’s not on tumblr rn)

1. What is you middle name? - San Roque

2. How old are you? - 16

3. When is your birthday? - November 11, 2002

4. What is your zodiac sign? - Sun: Scorpio Moon: Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? - Dark colors in general (mostly maroon, blue and monochrome)

6. What’s your lucky number? - 11 or 13

7. Do you have any pets? - 3 dogs (but i rlly take care of 1)

8. Where are you from? - Philippines, Metro Manila

9. How tall are you? - 5’5” and a half

10. What shoe size are you? - I think 9-10 (???)

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? - 3 (4 if u include my school shoes)

12. What was your last dream about? - I was in school and we were peforming for a rlly big event (it was shitty)

13. What talents do you have? - I can play the guitar, barely sing, sorta dance, and some chinese

14. Are you psychic in any way? - When it comes to my sister, and some romantic situations irl, and i can predict scenes from movies i havent seen

15. Favorite song? oh god that’s hard, the soundtracks for both heathers and six, every song in my g a y playlist in spotify (king princess, joji, billie eilish, rizha, etc.)

16. Favorite movie? - The girl king (despite the annoying power dynamic0 and heathers (despite the cringe) and almost every marvel movie

17. Who would be your ideal partner? - @alexconfusion if u weren’t such a fuqing baby (fyi, @alexgoestosleep i wont steal them from u, they’re just sorta my ideal type)

18. Do you want children? - Like one or two (girls preferably)

19. Do you want a church wedding? - Hell nah (but ill be fine either way)

20. Are you religious? - Sorta (raised a catholic, but my faith waivers)

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? - Nope just visited folks

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? - nah

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? - Regine velasquez at snr once

24. Baths or showers? - showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? - Im not wearin socks rn, but if i were, grey

26. Have you ever been famous? - Does having 392 followers in tumblr consider being famous??

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? - Yes and no

28. What type of music do you like? - Smth with guitars, maybe even synth-pop or smth. and some classical shit

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? - Nope, and never will

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? - 2, 3 if im with my bro

31. What position do you usually sleep in? - On either side with a pillow to hug

32. How big is your house? - Just 1 floor, a small backyard, and a front porch (i think idk filipino houses are hard to explain)

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? - Coffee and bread, instant noodles if i feel like it

34. Have you ever fired a gun? - Do airsoft guns count?

35. Have you ever tried archery? - Nah, but id love to

36. Favorite clean word? - boop

37. Favorite swear word? - shit, fuck,cunt, bitch, faggot (i call my friend like that never as an offense its just our thing)

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? - 36 hours or maybe even 48

39. Do you have any scars? -A scar on my right arm cuz of a vaccine

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? - Sorta, but he was a guy and a creep and a bitch so...

41. Are you a good liar? - sorta

42. Are you a good judge of character? - Maybe idk

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? - I have a very bad butchered british accent that sounds like im crunching in some scottish or smth

44. Do you have a strong accent? - Not that i know of

45. What is your favorite accent? - British and australian

46. What is your personality type? - Resting bitch face, quiet but a rlly good friend (apparently) im sorta clingy and hyper sometimes

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? - I think my prom dress, other than that, my giordano long sleeves

48. Can you curl your tongue? - sorta

49. Are you an innie or an outie? - innie

50. Left or right handed? - left

51. Are you scared of spiders? - As long as they’re small im good, i fear the big ones

52. Favorite food? - Japanese food, some korean food, pasta, ribs, and sisig

53. Favorite foreign food? - ^ (except for sisig)

54. Are you a clean or messy person? - An organized mess

55. Most used phrased? - Is it gay?

56. Most used word? - gay

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? - 20-30 mins, i try to prepare everything the day before

58. Do you have much of an ego? - Idk, i think not

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? - suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? - Yes, too many fucking times

61. Do you sing to yourself? - In the shower its great 10/10 would recommend

62. Are you a good singer? - Sorta?? Depends on the style of the song

63. Biggest Fear? - Socializing online idk lmao

64. Are you a gossip? - Depends on who im gossiping with, but not too much lol

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? - Idk, none of them are rlly great

66. Do you like long or short hair? - short

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? - Binch no, i aint american

68. Favorite school subject? - Social studies

69. Extrovert or Introvert? - Introvert but im a bit of both sorta

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? - no

71. What makes you nervous? - people

72. Are you scared of the dark? - nope

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? - Yes, especially when it comes to talking in english, im a grammar nazi

74. Are you ticklish? - yes,Stomach, sides, neck, feet, and certain parts on my back

75. Have you ever started a rumor? - nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? - I was the secretary of my class last year, and ive been the leader for our thesis

77. Have you ever drank underage? - Does wine count? (only during new year tho)

78. Have you ever done drugs? - nope

79. Who was your first real crush? - I honestly dont know, but i think it was this one girl named Renee (nuffsaid)

80. How many piercings do you have? - Before one for each ear, i lost them now so none

81. Can you roll your Rs? - If i need to, like if its a spanish name or smth

82. How fast can you type? - Idk,

83. How fast can you run? - Sorta fast thanks to my legs, but my stamina is hella short so not long

84. What color is your hair? - A mix of brown and sorta like bronze (this one particular part of my hair especially)

85. What color is your eyes? - brown

86. What are you allergic to? - none

87. Do you keep a journal? - Im starting to rn

88. What do your parents do? - Both of them have their own businesses

89. Do you like your age? - Yea i guess, unless my parents start comparing my maturity with my age

90. What makes you angry? --A lot of things (im moody), esp. When my sis starts judging what i like

91. Do you like your own name? -Sorta, i mean a lot of ppl mispronounce my name and make fun of it when u add my last name to it

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? - honestly idk, but i plan to name them with confusing names (or not idk)

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? - Both girls

94. What are you strengths? - Maybe that i’m honest esp when def needed, i have this motherly side (sorta), i know a lot of shit

95. What are your weaknesses? - Im clingy, im socially awkward, im easily demotivated, idk how emotions work

96. How did you get your name? - There was a joke that my mom thought i was gonna be a boy so they named me jonathan, but since i was a girl and jonathan tan was gonna be redundant, they added mae as my second name, removed the -than and now its J**** Mae Tan

97. Were your ancestors royalty? - Not that i know of, but one of my ancestors was an important figure in the revolution in my country so.... yea

98. Do you have any scars? - On my right arm cuz of a vaccine

99. Color of your bedspread? - I share a bed with my siblings (sadly) but rn its blue

100. Color of your room? - With my siblings, eggshell white or smth, but i wanted the color sky blue once i get my own room

#not heathers related #shitposting #ask meme #my shoulder hurts

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unknowngirl199424-blog · 5 years

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Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

#mine #personal #journal #diary #dear diary #my diary #my words #my escape #my post #getting better #one step at a time

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sisterbestill · 6 years

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I write this on my iPhone, sitting next to my dad, who is currently getting his 4th Chemo Therapy Treatment of Carboplatin and Taxol. The drugs are chemical bombs and each week the accumulative damage grows. They pre-treat him with histamine blocking meds so he doesn’t have reactions, but he has reactions during the infusion, like he can’t breath. The nurses are well aware and calmly manage the reactions with more meds. These meds cause him to become very drowsy, so the remainder of the day becomes about keeping him from falling.

I still am trying to process all that has occurred since early August 2018. I look back on these pictures of our last outing at Lake Jocassee and never would have guessed how things would change just a week later. I’ve often wondered how cancer strikes people so quickly, now I know. I am writing this so I will never forget each minute that will forever live with me. I am also using this as a way to cope and understand something that is unfamiliar and terrifying.

My parents have always taken care of themselves and one another. They have been very lucky to have good health and I have been lucky to have them as energetic as they are in their eighties. When they moved up here from Florida, I was delighted I was going to finally be able to spend more time with them - like daily and weekly vs. just twice a year. They moved 15 minutes away or a lovely 60 min bike ride through rolling countryside and mountains. I was giddy and felt the universe shift a bit. I felt pulled to them. They are in fact two of the coolest, funniest, and open-minded people I know.

Shortly after this kayak trip (photos above) they decided to make a pact to live to 100 and created a “bucket list”. They were thankful for their health and never took it for granted. Perhaps the bucket list idea was a way to for them to celebrate how young they felt or perhaps they recognized they were chronologically getting up there.

Paddling on Jocassee was relaxing, calm, and beautiful; Certainly an experience they would have loved to have recreated again and I am hopeful they will. It may look different in the future, but I suspect the beauty and calmness of the lake will bath their brains in peace.

A week after snapping these pics, I got a call from my mom, she was on her way to the ER with my Dad. I was working one floor up and met them in the ER. While we waited, I learned my Dad had been feeling fatigued for several months and had developed shortness of breath over last few weeks. It wasn’t evident on the kayak trip that he was struggling, but it was obvious in the ER. My mom said they had been to their primary care several times and their primary care doc reassured him it was natural aging, as tests did not reveal anything to be concerned about.

As we sat for 6 hours in the waiting area, I was certain it was nothing serious. Afterall, my dad had no other health issues other than a little hypertension. His meds consisted of an 81 mg baby aspirin and amlodipine 2.5 mg each day - what a lucky guy. I was thinking maybe he had pleurisy or walking pneumonia.

We finally were shown to a room and labs were drawn. We were relieved to finally get things moving. By this time my sister, Lori, and I were getting silly from the fatigue of waiting. We were thoroughly entertained by a belligerent drunk guy on a stretcher in the halllway who seemed to draw all the attention of the medical staff while we well-behaved folks waited for answers.

I noticed my dad’s HR would easily jump to a sinus tach in the 130s with just a little bit of movement. Something didn’t seem right, but I was not going to speculate or think the worst. I was just his daughter, at his side, keeping the mood light.

We were informed by the physician assistant caring for us that his left diaphragm was elevated and was probably the cause of his shortness of breath. I was a little taken back as this was an unusual finding that left me with a knot in my stomach. Not too long after this finding he was whisked away for a CT of his chest.

He returned to the room and we waited for results. The PA came in with a sticky note and said she read off it: “You have a very large anterior mediastinal mass...No one here will operate because of your age...We are discharging you and you will need to see an oncologist.”

Our mouths dropped. My stomach bottomed-out as she said “mass” and my face flushed. We all just blankly looked at one another. Go home?

I spoke to a good nurse friend in recovery and she called the thoracic resident. I spoke to the PA who delivered the news and said, “We can’t go home. He is short of breath. He and my mom live alone. His Heart rate is bouncing up to 130s. He is weak. Please admit him and consult thoracic surgery.” My dad chimes in, “I’m not a throw away!” Meaning he doesn’t want to be dismissed because of his chronological age. He was far healthier than most half his age and this deserved a second look. The radiologist who read the report never actually saw my dad, but he did see a birthdate.

The next day, the interventional radiologist who read his CT and gave us the crappy news also did a needle biopsy of this baseball size mass.

We went home on a Wednesday after 2 days and waited. We were waiting for results and waiting for an appointment with a thoracic surgeon. Waiting is tough and if you are sick you will learn the meaning of patience.

We made it to Sunday when I thought something wasn’t right with my dad. He continued to have episodes of shortness of breath, but something was still off. I knew he had anxiety, but this was different. He said he felt fine and I almost left it at that. As a nurse you learn to listen to your 6th sense.

My parents live in a remote part of the county where everything is 30 min away. I left there house and an hour later returned with a pulse oximeter that I purchased from a CVS drug store. His oxygenation was 95% not bad for a guy now breathing 40 times a minute with 1.25 lung capacity. However, his pulse read 155 and I was baffled. No way?! I palpated his radial artery and it was a match. Off we went to the ER...

ER visit number II was faster as we went to a smaller satellite hospital 30 min from their home. The rhythm was too fast on the monitor to establish what it was so the ER MD attempted to chemically cardiovert him with adenosine. Adenosine is pushed quickly through an IV. It stops and restarts the heart. I can not lie, I was nervous. It’s so diffferent when this is your own family member. My mom tearfully excused herself and I stayed by his bedside. The ER doc informed my dad it would suck, and we proceeded. It sucked. He felt his heart stop and I watched his eyes bulge and panic come across his face for 3 of the longest seconds of my life. We were able to see he had an underlying atrial flutter. We were started on a verapamil drip and were transported to the main hospital for management by a cardiologist. His heart converted back to a normal rhythm on the verapamil drip before we left the ER in transport to Main hospital at 1 am. We were under the impression it was stress related to the new shitty diagnosis and having to wait on results.

The next day he had an echocardiogram to look at the structure and function of his heart. He was started on a Metoprolol a drug that blocks adrenaline and keeps heart rate lower and it was doing its’ job.

He spent 2 nights in hospital and outside of naps, lacked solid hours of good sleep. We finally got word that his ECHO results were good. No one said a word about metastatic disease to his pericardium. We were told he had a small ring of fluid within the pericardial sack, but it wasn’t a lot and certainly not something they felt needed draining. The atrial flutter responded well to the metoprolol and we were discharged home to once again wait for our thoracic surgery appointment.

We finally made it to the thoracic surgeon to learn of what was growing in my dad’s mediastinum. I was hoping for a thymoma, but instead we drew the really short stick with a highly aggressive, highly invasive cancer called: Squamos Cell Thymic Carcinoma.

WTF? Come on! Can we not catch a break here?

I had never heard of this type of cancer and neither have many in the medical field cause in addition to being aggressive and invasive, it is also a rare tumor. A rare tumor that hasn’t impacted enough lives that researchers devote a lot of time, money and effort into understanding it. Not only that, but sadly, most people die before any data can be collected. Once you get short of breath, dry cough and fatigue it is usually advanced.

PET Scan had some questionable lymph nodes light up, but no other disease was noted distal to the mediastinal cavity.

We hoped it could be removed. Excising the tumor was first choice in the management of this cancer and had the best outcomes, but to do this the surgeon would need to get clean margins. The thoracic surgeon wanted a cardiac MRI to examine if this tumor had invaded any of his great vessels. CT scans had only shown that the tumor was abutting the ascending aorta, but we needed to be certain cause the surgery involved opening his sternum with a saw and recovery would be 5-6 weeks. The surgeon emphasized that he didn’t want to operate and create trauma without being able to get the entire tumor. He didn’t want to delay care in a time-is-of-the-essence scenario.

It was 6pm on a Monday evening just days out from last hospitalization, when I returned to their house to check on him. Earlier that morning, my mom and I took his mini Pomeranian back to the vet and learned it was dying. The vet apologized and said it was time. We put my dad’s 18 y/o Pom, Ben, to sleep at 10:30. My mom held him and he passed. We were a mess. We told my dad and his response seemed flat. Distant.Something else was on his mind.

I stayed close and felt something was amiss, something was unfolding, progressing. I was thinking is he getting an infection? His temp was 100.2, slightly more SOB, and his pulse was 95-110 at rest, on a beta blocker. Nowhere near his norm and I could not ignore this or excuse it. My dad is precious to me. I looked at my mom and dad, apologized as I informed them we needed to go back to the ER. They were agreeable. I think he was relieved I recognized something was wrong.

Shortly after arrival at the satellite ER labs were drawn and ultrasound of his heart was done by ER doc. He said there appeared to be a large fluid collection around my dad’s heart. We were again admitted to ICU for a condition called Cardiac Tamponade. Early the next morning he had the fluid drained 600 ml from around his heart. The fluid build up which is inside the pericardial sac squeezes the heart. The heart can be stunned and go into failure. The fluid that was drawn off was sent for cytology. It was suspicious. It was likely metastatic disease.

In fact after annoying the cardiologist with repeated questions in the hallway, he motioned me over to his computer screen. He showed me the ECHO and pointed out the thickening of the pericardium and showed me a mass dangling from his ventricle. I didn’t need to wait for cytology. This was confirmation for me that we were very far into a disease process. My face flushed, my heart sank, and my stomach dropped as I comprehended the situation. I thanked the MD and my mom asked what he was showing me. I told her. I saw the color leave her face.

The thoracic surgeon was still hoping to remove the mass as the CT didn’t show it had invaded the great vessels, but he did want a Cardiac MRI which was on the back burner. We were still in ICU cause the Cardiac Tamponade and procedure to drain the fluid triggered a lot of Atrial Flutter and Atrial Fibrillation. We waited for the Cardiac MRI for 3 days. There is only one machine and his was repeated twice before they got quality images. The thoracic surgeon finally met with us and after consulting his partners, radiologist, and oncologist, it was decided surgery was just too risky and he wasn’t certain he could get clear margins. He stressed how he didn’t want to create more problems or delay my dad in getting treatment if there were complications. We very much appreciated the thoughtfulness of his answer. We really didn’t have a minute to spare. The surgeon decided to cut a window in my dad’s heart so the cancer did not build up more fluid and compress this vital organ again. The cancer cells would drain into his belly instead of filling the pericardial sack.

We were discharged home in a questionable state: weak. At first we were told he would stay until he was walking well, but the hospital was full and we were off-loaded unexpectedly. Home is a place with stairs. Stairs to to get in and stairs to get out and the most movement he had done in a week was walking 25 ft with a walker and that was exhausting for him. I was concerned about falls. How were me and my mom going to get 170 lb man up 5 steps safely? He was too weak. He hadn’t eaten, he had not slept in 10 days. We were behind the eight ball and chemo had not even started.

Chemo is rough. To survive chemo, one needs some level of fitness, meaning able to perform ADLs independently and move often. We were overwhelmed. The next week was labor intensive and emotionally draining. Here we were home and we were struggling. He still wasn’t eating, still not sleeping, and my radar was on constant alert. I spent my days observing and looking for subtle changes. Oh and there were changes that needed immediate attention as he flipped in and out of rapid atrial fibrillation and got urinary tract infection.

I was scared and my dad was terrified. In times when we were alone, he would ask me: “How did this happen?” He would shake his head as if disappointed in his body. Disbelief. He was unable to comprehend it and he too was terrified.

To be continued...

#thymiccancer #cancer #chemo #raretumor #cancersucks #thymiccarcinoma #thisislife

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taekookismylifeline · 6 years

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(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you

ao3: (x)

Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.

Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin

Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26), (27)

Chapter Twenty-Eight - you’ve done it to my heart again. oh no

“So, which universities are you looking at?” Taehyung muttered to him in Science class on Tuesday morning.

Hoseok was bent over, trying to appear as if he were immersed in his work when he was anything but. He had better things to do, like text-yelling at Seokjin as to why he hadn’t been informed about Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s relationship. It was far more satisfying and rewarding than figuring out formulas for his chemistry work. “Huh?” He looked up from his phone to see Taehyung glowering at him.

“I said,” Taehyung hissed, “what universities are you looking at?”

Hoseok wrinkled his nose in distaste. “I don’t know. I’m looking at the courses more than the actual places to study.”

Taehyung lifted an eyebrow, a knowing smile crawled onto his face. “So, what are the courses you’re looking at?”

Crap. Abort mission. Hoseok looked back to his notes and began elaborating on them. “Oh, you know... This and that.”

“Interesting,” Taehyung commented, flicking his eyes back onto his own work. “In all the courses I’ve looked through, I haven’t ever seen one for ‘this and that’.”

“Oh, please don’t,” Hoseok whined, rolling his eyes. “You sound just like Jin.” Taehyung laughed but quickly ceased when the teacher cast a beady eye over to him. “Speaking of Jin,” Hoseok continued, “you know, he’s been with ‘Joon for almost three months?”

“Lucky,” Taehyung hummed, most of his attention directed on his worksheet.

“That’s three months he didn’t tell us!” Hoseok exclaimed. Someone aimed a piece of paper at his head and he opened it once it rebounded and landed on the table. ‘You’re so loud! Don’t get another detention!’

“Well, maybe he wanted their relationship to be private. You know that Jin’s not really open about that kind of stuff. We didn’t even know that Namjoon had asked him out until Yoongi told you – No!” Hoseok had opened his mouth once Taehyung had mentioned his boyfriend’s name and abruptly shut it at the interruption.

“What?” He questioned, noting Taehyung’s weary glare.

Taehyung dropped his pen and rubbed his temples. “You’re in that honeymoon phase.” Hoseok scrunched his brows into his nose bridge – he was fairly certain he and Yoongi hadn’t gotten married. Taehyung sighed in exasperation. “The honeymoon phase is where your whole world revolves around your significant other, ‘Seok. You won’t stop talking about him, it’s Yoongi this and Yoongi that. It was cute at first, but now... Now I want to suffocate you.”

Hoseok was affronted and let out a winded gasp. “Well, I’ll keep that in mind when you get with Jeongguk!” Taehyung glared at him. “What’s wrong, Tae? You’ve been all... Not so nice lately. I’m sorry if I’ve annoyed you.”

A sigh escaped Taehyung’s lips and he buried his head in his hands. “Sorry, ‘Seok. I’ve just been... A little busy lately.” Hoseok frowned in concern and waited for Taehyung to elaborate, but he didn’t. “And this whole thing with ‘Guk isn’t really helping.”

“Well, you scored a date with him, didn’t you?” Hoseok asked, uncertainty pooling in the pit of his stomach. “And he was the one to ask you, not the other way ‘round.”

He was trying to approach delicately but by Taehyung’s groan he could tell that he wasn’t going about it in the correct way. “Yes, but it’s no real confirmation. I wanted to tell him how I feel in that restaurant, but I couldn’t do it! He was just sitting there, looking so beautiful that I – I freaked out. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this Sunday.”

“Well, you’ll have to survive Saturday first,” Hoseok mused. His mind fixated on what Yoongi was going to wear and how adorable he would look, and how he himself was planning to pay for Yoongi’s food and order him a hot chocolate just so he could see Yoongi with a cream moustache – something his parents always used to do to him.

Hoseok missed Yoongi’s intoxicating presence, missed hearing his enchanting voice. He had last seen Yoongi an hour ago in the courts for fifteen minutes as it was their break, but it wasn’t enough. Fifteen minutes was nowhere near the time that could suffice Hoseok’s hunger for Yoongi. To see him, to hear him, to laugh with him, to smile at him, to touch him, to smell him-

Maybe Taehyung was right about the honeymoon phase. Only Hoseok disagreed with the ‘phase’ part of that term. Whatever he had felt for Yoongi before had only amplified when finally being allowed to hold him, to care for him, to love him. A phase did not last for seven years, that he was adamant about.

“You’re really not helping me here, ‘Seok.” Hoseok was dragged back into reality upon hearing Taehyung’s lament.

“Sorry,” Hoseok replied sheepishly. He decided to move on from Jeongguk, that conversation topic only seemed to be a dark one at this moment in time. He leant in closer, in order for any potential eavesdroppers to be unable to hear him. “What’s going on with Jimin?”

Taehyung tilted his head and bit his lip in contemplation. Hoseok watched, slightly in awe. Taehyung really was a work of art, how had Jeongguk not snatched him up yet? “Well, he’s moved back into his parents’ house.” Hoseok’s eyes grew wide in shock. “He’s agreed to go to the doctors to see if there’s any lasting damage, but he doesn’t think there will be because he didn’t do a lot of the stuff he said he had, and I think he’s thinking about going to relationship counselling along with his parents.”

“Wow,” Hoseok breathed out, impressed and shocked at how rapidly Jimin seemed to be changing for the better. “I’m so glad.”

“So am I,” Taehyung agreed, rubbing out a spelling mistake.

“Now you can jerk off without him being there,” Hoseok quipped as soon as a heavy silence settled over them. Taehyung let out a vague snort and his lips barely quirked into the smile that Hoseok knew and loved. “Did you... Did you sort things out with him?”

Taehyung bit his lip again, kept his eyes on his paper. He shook his head and Hoseok deflated. “I didn’t have time. There’s a lot going on for the both of us.” Hoseok didn’t have time to question as to why Taehyung was suddenly so busy as he had moved on. “But I thought a lot about what you said, as I’ve told you, and that’s why I asked ‘Guk if he wanted to talk. But now I’ve got a date with him and I don’t really know what to do.”

Hoseok watched his best friend with a pained sadness in his heart. He rubbed Taehyung’s arm consolingly. “It’ll work out, Tae. Once you’ve decided something with Jeongguk, you can figure out how to deal with Jimin. It’ll all fall into place. It always does.”

Saturday fast approached and along with amounted to a mountain of messages from the newly formed group chat. By Saturday morning and awaking to Namjoon’s: ‘. Good morn.ing. . .’, Hoseok felt as if he had been lifelong friends with the five boys. It was as if years of distance between him, Namjoon and Jeongguk had been replaced with years of history within a week. It was almost scary how quickly they had bonded and how they all got along, their personalities melding together to create a gold encrusted jigsaw puzzle.

Jimin hadn’t read any of the messages although he had been online. Hoseok blamed the streak of cowardice that ran within him for stopping him reaching out privately to Jimin to invite him to join Hoseok and the others today. Although that they had ended on a positive note the last time they had seen each other, it was tinged with memories of Hoseok’s explosion of repressed frustration. He wanted to apologise but felt it was insincere to do it over the phone. Hoseok tried to find an excuse, Jimin must not want to talk to him because Jimin hadn’t contacted him to inform him about his developments. So, even if Hoseok did reach out, Jimin wouldn’t contact him back.

It didn’t make him feel any better, but he pushed it into the back of his mind. He could dwell on it later, for now he had to get ready.

Hoseok decided on jeans, a turtleneck jumper that Taehyung had recommended and some cologne that was circling the bottom of its packaging. His mum handed him some money and petted his cheek, telling him to have a good time with his friends. He had just clambered onto the train when he received a message from Yoongi. He smiled upon just reading the contact name and opened the private chatroom.

Min Yoongi: hey, are you on your way?

Jung Hoseok: yh im on the train! Ive never been to this restaurant Jung Hoseok: its Italian isnt it? Jung Hoseok: are u on your way??

Min Yoongi: Yeah, it is, do you like Italian food? Min Yoongi: Yeah, I’m on the train as well, I’ll meet you at the station

Jung Hoseok: ive never really tried it Jung Hoseok: okay then!!!! :)

Min Yoongi: Well, we’ll try it together Min Yoongi: Jin told me on private that you’ve written another haiku, is this true? Min Yoongi: He said that if you recite it today, he’ll bring physical copies of Namjoon’s poetry Min Yoongi: You don’t have to if you don’t want to

Jung Hoseok: im going to kill him Jung Hoseok: ur so sweet yoongs Jung Hoseok: I think i remember it, so I’ll give it a shot Jung Hoseok: I wanna see Joon’s poetry!!! Jung Hoseok: tell him it’s on

Min Yoongi: okay, I will Min Yoongi: I hope this poem is better than the ever classic ‘Flower Boy’ Min Yoongi: I hope it’s erotic

Jung Hoseok: OENGKW SAME HERE Jung Hoseok: that made me laugh out loud yoongs i hope youre happy

Min Yoongi: I am :) Min Yoongi: How could I not be happy when you’re mine?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs u know your way to my heart Jung Hoseok: okay the stations coming up, ill see you in a bit :)

Min Yoongi: See you, Seok :)

As soon as he saw Seokjin’s face any intent to kill him rapidly subsided and was replaced with overwhelming joy. “Jin!” Hoseok yelped and leapt into his arms, narrowly avoiding smacking Namjoon in the face.

“Wow – hey there, ‘Seok!” Seokjin greeted and Hoseok slid out of his grasp and stood back, realising now just how tall Seokjin was as he hadn’t noticed Seokjin’s height in the dim lighting of the party a few months back. “How’ve you been?”

“Busy,” Hoseok bluffed. “You?”

“Same here,” Seokjin grinned at him.

“Get a room,” a voice quipped from beside of him. Namjoon was surveying their exchange with a fond smile.

Hoseok laughed at the reference, “it’s nice to see you, too.” He checked the time on his phone before realising that a familiar presence had disappeared from his side. “Where’s Yoongs?” He asked, peering around the corner of the restaurant as if Yoongi was hiding in the alleyway.

“You left him when you ran over to me,” Seokjin replied, laughing when seeing Hoseok’s horrified expression.

“Oh, crap!” Hoseok spotted a familiar head in the distance, quietly approaching them. He excused himself hurriedly and sprinted towards the figure, launching himself onto Yoongi and wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s neck. “I’m sorry, Yoongs, I didn’t mean to leave you, I just saw Jin and got so excited I had to run-”

Yoongi laughed into his neck and pulled away. “It’s fine, ‘Seok, just – we can’t stay here, we’re in the way.”

“Oh,” Hoseok joined Yoongi’s side when realising that many people were swarming around them trying to turn in different directions. The back of his hand brushed against Yoongi’s so he eagerly grasped for the familiar and much loved warmth, interlocking their fingers. His heartbeat hummed loudly when Yoongi applied pressure and squeezed his hand.

Whenever he was with Yoongi like this, allowed to touch such a creature who was the definition of perfection, he almost felt like he were living in a dream and the tips of his toes were barely skimming the floor. Hoseok felt as if he were flying.

Together, they met up with Seokjin and Namjoon outside of the restaurant just as the same time as Jeongguk crossed the street to greet them.

“Well, look at you two,” Seokjin cooed at them and their conjoined hands. Namjoon nudged him to let go of it but seemed to be captivated when Seokjin turned his head to meet his eyes. “Don’t they remind you of us? Young and in love?”

Hoseok froze slightly, the ‘l’ word catching in his ears and resonating around his mind, like someone had struck his brain and the contact had clanged like a gong. He prayed that Yoongi hadn’t noticed and smiled stiffly. “‘Joon’s in the same year as us, Jin. Stop trying to age us to make yourself feel better.”

Namjoon laughed and Seokjin appeared affronted but it all paled in comparison to hear Yoongi’s snort of amusement next to him.

“Good afternoon,” Jeongguk greeted, having lingered on the edge of their exchange. Namjoon smiled at him whilst Seokjin gasped.

“And you must be the youngest! Jeongguk, right?” Jeongguk nodded shyly, Hoseok heard Yoongi scoff from beside him. “Wow, you’re so cute.”

Jeongguk flushed. “Thanks. So are you. Don’t worry, ‘Joon, I’m not trying to steal your guy.” Hoseok howled at the speechless look written on Namjoon’s face and the way that Jeongguk’s features had morphed into a mischievous expression.

“He could never win me over, ‘Joon,” Seokjin agreed, a similar look of innocent mischief forming on his face. “Not with your poetry kept in my heart.”

“And on your person,” Hoseok called out, eyeing the bulge in Seokjin’s coat pocket. “I’m keeping my side of the deal.”

Seokjin grinned whilst Namjoon eyed them warily, and then understood. He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “You’re kidding me,” he sighed heavily and Hoseok laughed, leaning into Yoongi who chuckled with him.

“Don’t worry, ‘Joon, it’ll be worth it!” Seokjin got out after laughing extremely loudly causing many passer-by’s to look over in alarm. “We get to hear another one of Hoseok’s amazing haiku’s.”

Hoseok flushed slightly at the praise but also at the haiku in question. There was no way that he could have forgotten any of the lyrics or poems he had once written about Yoongi, they were etched into every inch of his brain, every crevice of his heart. “It’s really not-”

“No,” Yoongi interrupted. “It is. It’s really good.” His voice was soft, not imposing. Hoseok felt himself relax at the comfort laced in Yoongi’s tone.

“As much as I love you guys being cute,” Jeongguk spoke up and smiled at them. Hoseok looked away and at the floor, it was quite embarrassing with everyone peering at them. “I’m quite hungry.”

“Should we go in and get a table and not order until Tae shows up?” Hoseok offered. Everyone seemed keen on the idea so he opened the door of the restaurant and led them inside.

Hoseok was about to ask for a table for six but then with a flash of guilt he remembered Jimin. If there was any chance that Jimin would be joining them, he would like for there to be an opportunity for all of them to sit together rather than Jimin feeling excluded.

They were shown to a table of eight and had their chairs moved out for them. It seemed that Italian restaurants tended to be classy, suddenly Hoseok felt terribly underdressed. Yoongi positioned himself opposite Hoseok and unbuttoned his coat to reveal a thick jumper and snug fitting jeans. He looked adorable and Hoseok felt an urge to order a hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream for Yoongi to try.

“Did Tae text any of you?” Seokjin asked once they were all seated and had explained their situation to the staff.

Hoseok reached into his jacket pocket and checked his phone. The only messages he hadn’t opened were from a Science group chat. He had received nothing from Taehyung. He cast his eyes over to Jeongguk whose tongue was probing his left cheek worriedly as his eyes latched onto his phone. Had Taehyung contacted Jeongguk?

“He hasn’t messaged me or the group chat,” Yoongi responded, tucking his phone back into his coat pocket. He caught Hoseok’s gaze and smiled, his eyes flicking down to the elaborate menu which lay in front of him. Yoongi was nervous. How adorable.

“What about you, ‘Guk?” Namjoon asked, obviously having noticed that Jeongguk was staring at his screen in concern.

Jeongguk blinked up at them. “Oh, Tae? Yeah, he messaged me... He said that he’s sorry that he’s running a little late but he’ll be here soon.” He shot them all a reassuring smile but Hoseok saw the worry lingering in his eyes. What was Jeongguk not telling them? What else had Taehyung said to him?

He didn’t get a chance to ask though as the waiters returned to ask for their drink order and to explain that they would come back to take their friends’ order once he had arrived. Hoseok peered at the menu and ordered a fizzy drink that he had never heard of, it was Italian. It tasted nice. It seemed more authentic than other fruit-flavoured drinks he had tried before.

Hoseok was about to lightly kick Yoongi under the table to gain his attention, to ask if he wanted to order a hot chocolate with him when the door opened. Hoseok craned his neck to see if it was who he was expecting, and he smiled when seeing Taehyung enter. But there was something wrong, he had stopped and turned around to talk to someone... But who?

Taehyung looked over his shoulder at the table and smiled, then he faced the person again and said something. The two approached the group shortly afterwards. Hoseok’s face broke into a grin as relief poured through him. “Jimin!” He cried, jumping out of his seat.

“Easy there, tiger,” Namjoon laughed at him as some of his drink sloshed out of his glass when his knees hit the table. But he didn’t much care, he had only realised just how much he had missed Jimin and how happy he was to see the other.

Jimin smiled at him in the same manner as always, cockily and cheekily, as if he knew something that Hoseok didn’t. Hoseok wouldn’t have it any other way. “Hey, ‘Seok,” Jimin greeted, and then nodded at everyone. “I’m sorry I haven’t been on the group chat. I haven’t used my phone much recently. Tae, here, told me I should come today to see you guys.” Jimin flushed suddenly and dropped his eyes. “I’ve missed you all.”

Taehyung threw an arm around Jimin and squeezed him. Hoseok frowned, something clicking inside his mind. He watched Jeongguk’s reaction instead, saw him watch the scene with narrowed eyes. Uh oh.

“We’ve missed you, too!” Hoseok called, redirecting everyone’s attention to him. “Sit down, sit down!”

“We’ve waited long enough for you, and we’re all hungry,” Seokjin quipped and then proceeded to laugh at his own joke. Namjoon snorted whilst rolling his eyes fondly and then laughed with him. Hoseok’s heart softened seeing this display. He wondered if Namjoon had told Seokjin he was in love with him.

Love. His eyes darted from Namjoon to the seat next to him. It was where Yoongi sat.

Hoseok almost audibly sighed in relief when the waiters returned with enthusiastic beams. He was desperate for a distraction from the stirrings in his heart. The more he thought about it, the more likely he would slip up and he would have to refrain from doing so. He had already made many mistakes with Yoongi, and he was not about to make another one he could easily prevent.

He focussed his attention on the menu instead. What did he want for the main course? Spaghetti, of course, he was in an Italian restaurant. Spaghetti bathed in ripe tomatoes and fresh basil. Remember that old Disney film with those dogs? The spaghetti kiss, one of the most romantic clichés.

Yoongi ordered the same as him. He met Yoongi’s gaze and smiled. His heart clenched when Yoongi smiled back, so soft and serene.

Oh, god. Oh, god. There was no rethinking it, no realising that he had made a mistake and correcting himself, like how he had done when he wrote it carelessly but meaning it with every beat of his heart in the group chat. It was in every breath he took, every smile he saved for the other, every jump his heart made when Yoongi smiled back and in every throb of his pulse when Yoongi touched him.

Hoseok was in love with Yoongi, and he had never been more fucked.

That boy’s an angel, I don’t want him to like me; Angel’s shouldn’t fall.

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happy-meo · 7 years

Text

Masquerade IV: The Dark Side (Jin x Reader x Tae) Part 1

While love may bring out the best in us, it could also bring out the worst.

And so the last saga begins...

** If you haven't read them already, please read the following BEFORE starting this story: Silver Spoon, Masquerade I, Masquerade II, Masquerade III, Masquerade 3.1 & 3.2 drabbles **

Summary: You were never lucky in love. Through disastrous dates, consistent unrequited crushes, and broken relationships, you've constantly been searching for someone to give you genuine love and romance. And through it all, one person had remained your constant shoulder to lean on. Although you had never seen his face, he had given you a sense of confidence and a place of comfort in Club Masquerade. The more times you've failed in love though, the more you realized that may be no one would ever choose you. However, one fateful encounter, thanks to your dog, made you want to hope one more time. Did fate bring you to the one who would finally end your streak of being broken-hearted? Or had the right guy been with you all along?

Jin x Reader x Tae (ft. previous Masquerade characters, Silver Spoon characters, & Got7 Jackson) Fluff, Smut, Angst, Romance Host Au, Cook!Jin, Vet!Tae, Bartender!Tae

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 (Finale)

A/N: And the new series is back! Thank you everyone for waiting so patiently! Sorry for the time lapse without updates. As I said, I experienced a little bit of a writer’s block, and I really wanted to this final installment justice. I had planned this series all together in the beginning, and I hadn’t expected so many people to love and anticipate the Masquerade series, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for allowing me to write all four parts and related Silver Spoon <33 ENJOY!

Most people were brought up with the belief that being humble was respectful and how they should always act when receiving compliments. So much so that most people feel bashful when accepting praises; so much so that they begin to doubt compliments and any positive outlook on themselves, to the point where they begin to downplay their own strengths and focus on their weaknesses.

But that wasn't the case with Jin.

It was a meeting of Heaven and Hell when you first met. He was a ball of positivity and warmth, while you were cold and desolate. In your fit of desperation, you had run into Club Masquerade for relief, for any inkling of being loved, for comfort.

And in his own odd way, Jin gave that to you.

"Wow, you're a hot mess." He had chuckled as he grabbed your hand to lead you away from judgmental eyes.

Your make-up was trailing down your cheeks, your hair was unkempt, and your eyes blood-shot from crying. It was another cliché story of being cheated on and dumped. Another episode of not feeling good enough.

"I want a different person." You thought he was making fun of you.

But he smiled as he led you into a room and stated, "Why? Because I called you hott?"

"You said I'm a hot mess." You repeated.

"Why do people automatically think that's a bad thing?" He laughed as he threw his jacket around your shoulders. "I think you're quite beautiful right now."

You blushed and averted your eyes. "Stop lying."

"Not anyone can rock smudged make up and crying their eyes out, while still managing to look good." He handed you tissues and a mirror. "Unless you're me of course."

You looked at him incredulously. "You wear make-up?"

"No. My face was sculpted by the gods." He stated seriously with a shrug. "I meant I make every emotion look fantastic."

You couldn't help but laugh at his ridiculousness.

"Ah, there's a smile." he grinned as he knelt in front of you. "Everyone should technically have a mask coming in here, but we'll keep this a secret between us."

And your gray world gained a little more color when Jin came into your life.

You had worked in the Seoul branch of the Min Company for years, seemingly as a shadow. You had been one of the only ones who saw Mr. Jung for who he really was in the beginning, while others gossiped about his crabby personality. You knew there was more to him than that. But your crush was quickly hurtled towards the amicable and openly flirtatious Mr. Park. Although he claimed to have a girlfriend, you couldn't stop your feelings. Even if you felt ridiculous, you wanted to be close to him, wanted to get to know him.

Then he brought his girlfriend to the company party and to say you were crushed would be an understatement. You left the party early and ran to Club Masquerade once again.

But you continued to persist, hoping that he would notice you if you made yourself ever so present in his life. And that's when you decided to frequent the cafe where he always got his coffee from, something you had noticed from close observation.

"Mr. Park?"

Jimin turned, surprised.

"Oh my gosh. Hi!" You spotted his girlfriend at the counter. "Mr. Park's girlfriend! I can't remember your name."

"I never gave it." She mused. "How can I help you?"

Jimin burst out in laughter at her snark reply, but he played it off as a cough. You knew better, but you tried to save your face.

"He always came in with this brand of coffee so I wanted to try it for myself." You explained unnecessarily. "I didn't think he'd be coming here to see his girlfriend every morning! How sweet!"

"Yes, very." She curtly agreed. "What will you be having today?"

"Oh right. Whatever Mr. Park gets here." You blushed.

"Coming right up." She smiled warmly.

Your eyes followed Mr. Park who floated to where she was and they began bickering about something. Your lips turned downwards at the sight, wishing it was you he was close to instead. Then you straightened up when his gaze landed on you.

"See you at the office." He pointed at you and you couldn't help but beam, excited that he didn't forget about you.

His girlfriend then handed you your order and whispered, "You should give up. You're not his type."

You looked at her alarmed. How had she been able to tell from the few minutes you had been standing there?

"Well if you hurry you could probably walk with him to the office." She batted her eyes innocently. "Tell him his girlfriend sent you."

You blushed and sprinted out of the cafe, immensely embarrassed. Were the two of them just toying around with you?

So in an effort to get over your crush on unavailable Mr. Park and not make a further fool of yourself, you attempted to date around again, which hardly ever ended well. You fell too hard, too quickly, and always landed flat on your face because of it.

Receptionist pressed her earpiece as you once again rushed into the Club, distraught.

"Jin, your next client is already waiting for you in the room. Looks like another one of her dates went badly so come with the full break up kit."

"On it." Jin hurried out from the back worriedly.

And you constantly wondered when Jin would get irritated and tired of you coming in like this.

But he never did.

In fact, you weren't sure how it happened, but Jin became one of your closest friends.

"Yo." Jackson came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

Jin raised an eyebrow as he was putting on his nightly face cream. "Jackson, what did I say about running around naked in the apartment?"

"I'm not naked!" He pointed to the towel. "My goods are covered."

Jin shook his head. "What'd you need?"

"I was just wondering about that customer you have that's always bawling her eyes out." Jackson plopped down on Jin's bed. "Why do you keep her?"

"What do you mean?" Jin questioned.

"I mean, you were a Consoler type until J-Hope graduated. That's the type of Host she wanted. But now you're our best Gentleman persona. Shouldn't you let a full time Consoler handle her?" Jackson asked.

"Mmm..." Jin hummed. "She was my first ever customer, and we've developed a bond of trust. She's been rejected by so many people --"

"Clearly." Jackson snorted.

Jin glared at him and Jackson looked away guiltily.

"I just don't want to be one of those people." Jin stated. "She's really cool when you get to know her."

"Bro, you've got balls." Jackson chuckled. "First, you're the only mask that uses his real name, and now you're the only mask that's taking on two roles. Respect."

Jin smiled. "Well, I didn't want to develop some 'fake' persona. I always want to be myself in everything I do."

Jackson nodded, "Props man, props."

Jin spun around, "How does it feel being the top Aggressor now that Nochu graduated?"

Jackson stretched. "It's a workout since his customers transferred over to me, but it's been good. The ladies love The Wang."

Jin burst into laughter. "I still can't believe you chose that name."

"What?" Jackson bellowed. "It's catchy. And joke all you want, but it makes perfect sense in the situation. Besides, you love puns so out of all people, I expect you to appreciate my genius."

"I do. I do." Jin waved his hand. "Now get your naked butt out of my room."

"Again, I'm not naked." he pointed. "There's a towel over The Wang's wang."

Jin cracked up, and Jackson, quite satisfied at making his roommate laugh, waltzed out of his room.

"Oh. Can you bring home left over bread and pastries from your store?!" Jackson bellowed.

"We never have leftovers though." Jin smirked proudly.

"You know what I mean. Steal some!"

"I can't steal from my own store. Pay me!" Jin answered.

"Fine! Just bring some! I've been craving them."

Jin grinned. "I told you you'd get hooked."

"I'd totally date you if you swung that way." Jackson replied.

Jin rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure."

"Hey, remember I made you into the city man you are now?! You need to appreciate me more!"

Kim Seokjin, the eldest son of a farm family, had arrived in Seoul after much contemplation and much inspiration from his beloved sister, Farm Girl. He had watched all his younger family members steadily achieve goal after goal of their own accord. He had been envious of their ambition, their intellect, and their passion, but had simply felt content in helping out on the farm for the longest time. It had been a set path for him after all -- to take over the family business. He didn't think of anything else.

But he soon began feeling left behind, stagnant, and aimless. Until Yoongi gave him a cookbook. A gnawing feeling of wanting more had always been present inside him, but as he held the book and as he began trying new recipes, learning more about the world of cooking, he realized what it was he wanted to do.

And so, he began confiding in Yoongi about his ideas and thoughts, to which the younger was supportive, encouraging, and helpful in providing valuable insight into what he needed to do to bring his aspirations to fruition. Later on, he gave Yoongi a letter with his well thought out proposal to open his own shop in the big city. He, too, wanted to chase his passions and try to achieve his dreams of making his small shop well-known, attending a prestigious culinary school, and maybe even becoming head chef of a restaurant.

But he had refused any monetary help from his future brother-in-law. He wanted to find success with his own hands and his own efforts. Instead, he asked Yoongi to reach out to any and all of his business partners, and send his proposal to them to get someone to sponsor, invest, and support his idea. Lo and behold, through the sea of rejections, one person signed the proposal and gave him a chance to open up a small bakery. And so, he immediately left for Seoul to find himself and his dreams.

Luckily, when Jin had reached out to Namjoon for possible places to stay in Seoul, Namjoon mentioned one of his closest friends was looking for a roommate. And not seeing any reason to refuse splitting the rent and having an immediate friend in a new place, Jin accepted.

"Wow, you're handsome. And tall!" Jackson gushed as Jin first stepped foot into the apartment. "But dude, your clothes...I know holes and stitches are in style, but we need to get you a make-over."

"What? Why would I need a make-over? My face is already handsome." Jin argued.

Jackson cracked up for a good five minutes. "I like you, Kim Seokjin. Namjoon said you were interesting and charming. He was definitely right."

He shook Jin's hand. "I'm Jackson Wang. And as your welcome present, let me please help you change your wardrobe so you could do your handsome face justice. Okay?"

Jin's lips curled up, "Well, I can't refuse if you're offering so adamantly."

Jackson laughed, "Just between me and you, it's Namjoon's card."

The two cackled all the way to the shopping district. And it truly was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"Jin. Jin. Chef. CHEF!"

Jin was brought out from his reminiscing by his assistant, who was looking at him scoldingly with her arms crossed. "Can you please save your inner monologues for another time? It's almost opening time, and we have to finish two more batches of fresh bread!"

"Oh right, right." Jin chuckled. "Thanks, Crumbs."

She frowned at his usual nickname for her.

"What?" he grinned. "Did you like Ppang-Ppang better?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "There's an insanely long line outside already."

"What would I do without you?" Jin tilted her chef hat playfully as she huffed.

She chucked flour at him. "This is YOUR shop. Can you take it seriously?"

Jin laughed, "Everything will work out, Crumbs. I say it every day, and I've never been wrong."

She exhaled and went back to rolling dough. "Whatever you say, Boss."

Jin patted his hands on his apron and got to work as well.

Crumbs or Ppang-Ppang, to which Jin thought he was cleverly punny for making those nicknames for her, had been with him since the beginning. When he was just setting up the bakery, he was looking for assistants who could help him bake various pastries and bread. Since he was an unknown brand name, not many applicants came in. Those that did try however couldn't handle the speed, efficiency, and delicacy he expected in the kitchen. Then Crumbs waltzed in and was the perfect assistant. She was quick in the kitchen; she had her own flair, the passion to experiment with new flavors and ingredients, and on top of that, she was clean, organized, and determined to make each batch as delicious as the last. She was a blessing for which he was grateful for everyday. He knew that without her, his shop would be difficult to manage alone.

"You want to work the cash register today?" he teased.

She scrunched her face, and he chuckled.

"You just want me to say your face attracts more customers so you should take the register." she retorted.

"And yet, you still said it." He sung as he skipped outside to open up.

"Make sure you don't have flour on you!" she called out.

"Flour won't stop my beauty!" he bellowed.

"Oh boy." She simply sighed as she waited for the last batch to finish in the oven, listening to the excited bustling of the shop. "We need to hire another cashier if this keeps up."

"Oh, isn't he so handsome?" The customers gushed as they eyed Jin at the register while they chose their delicacies.

"I wonder if these people come here for the pastries or for the eye candy."

Jin beamed at the familiar voice. "Hoseok!"

"I come here diligently every morning, just for you my dear friend." Hoseok smiled as he placed his choices on the counter. "I got a bit more today 'cause Jimin keeps eating it when I turn around or leave our room for a second."

"Still the same, that Red Mask." Jin snorted.

"Oh? You're here too?" Jungkook appeared and hugged Hoseok from behind.

"Don't you have patrols to run in the morning?" Jin scowled at Jungkook's presence as he rung up the two's orders.

"My girlfriend asked me to buy her some so I'm stopping by the office to give it to her. She said it reminds her of home for some reason." Jungkook shrugged. "This is addicting, Jin."

"In that case, grab some extra for her." Jin smiled warmly. Jungkook looked at him skeptically at his softened tone. He coughed, "I mean anyone who could put up with your arrogant self needs some extra bread in her life."

Hoseok snorted. "On the contrary Jin, Jungkook becomes putty when it comes to women in the 'real' world."

"I'll have to see this for myself." Jin chuckled. "I can't imagine it."

"Next time you two go to the gym, put him right next to a female and you'll see him panic." Hoseok pointed.

"I've gotten better!" Jungkook argued.

"Oh right. Where's your mystery assistant? She's the one that makes the special bread of the day you said, right?" Hoseok questioned.

"Yeah. She's shy so she's always in the back thinking of new specials." Jin chuckled. "She never wants to be up here."

"Well, send her mine and Silver's compliments. Yesterday's special was amazing." Hoseok gave a thumbs up.

"I'll let her know." Jin grinned proudly.

"Well, good luck. I'll catch you at the gym later." Jungkook waved.

Hoseok and Jungkook chummily exited the bake shop, their handsomeness capturing many of the customer's attention.

"They're taken ladies and gents." Jin commented with a chuckle. "Sorry."

There was a collective disappointed "Awww" within the store.

Jin yawned as he was about to close up for the day, but his eyes bulged out as he spotted you running into the store, disheveled, and wet from the pouring rain.

"I'M SORRY! I KNOW YOU'RE CLOSING!" You heaved. "I ran here after work because I woke up late and didn't have time to wait on the line this morning, or else I would've been late and--"

Jin simply smiled and flipped the sign to "Closed". "I'll get you your usual."

You blinked, surprised. "You know my usual?"

Jin blushed as he hurried to grab what he knows you usually get. "Um, I know all my regulars' usual orders."

"I'm sorry. I'm soaking and you're going to have more work to clean up..." You mumbled shyly, standing awkwardly at the entrance.

"No, come in. You'll help the floor get wet so you're saving us an extra step." Jin grinned and beckoned you over to the register.

You would be lying if you didn't find him attractive, but other than the usual small talk, you hadn't gotten to know the cute baker. Maybe it was a good thing you had woken up late today. He was kind, friendly, and funny. And just for a bit, his attention was solely on you. But you wished you weren't soaked like a wet dog during this opportune moment.

Timidly, you shuffled to the counter to pay for your order.

"Just heat it up before you eat it. And if you want --" he pointed to the umbrella by the door. "--take my umbrella. I wouldn't want you getting sick."

"Oh no." You gushed. "I couldn't. What about you?"

"I'll be fine. I don't live too far. I'm sure you have a long commute." he stated.

"How'd you know?" You blinked.

"Oh. Um..." Jin averted his eyes, mentally kicking himself. "I mean some people who live close by could wake up late and still have time to wait in line, so I just assumed you lived far since you couldn't stop by before work."

Your lips curled up. "You're good."

"I threw in an extra pie in there." Jin winked as he handed her the bag. "For your commute."

You grinned. "Thank you."

"Take the umbrella. Soggy pastries won't taste good." he urged.

You chuckled. "I mean if you put it that way. How can I say no?"

Jin smiled.

"I'll return it in the morning. I promise." You bowed as you scurried giddily out of the store.

Jin sighed and slumped over his counter.

"You're such a creep." Crumbs stepped out of the kitchen.

"Why were you listening?"

"Not like I have anything else to listen to in the kitchen. Rising dough isn't exactly noisy." she snorted. "Then I heard your ridiculous statement of knowing everyone's usuals."

Jin huffed.

"So I'm guessing that's the chick you're banging even though she has no idea what you look like?" Crumbs started cleaning up.

Jin coughed at the sudden attack, "How do you remember everything I say?!"

"Maybe you should be careful who you're around when you get drunk after work." Crumbs chuckled. "Luckily it was only us 'cause all your friends are coupled up, except for you."

"You're not either." he pouted.

"By choice." She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I'm perfectly content being single."

Jin scoffed.

"But someone looks like he's developed a crush on his client." She playfully gasped. "How tragic."

"Shut up." Jin shook his head. "It's not a crush. I just have a soft spot for her. She's been through a lot."

"Whatever you say, Boss." Crumbs smirked.

"It's NOT." Jin argued.

"Why're you such a baby?" she retorted. "And what're you going to do without an umbrella, Mr. Smooth?"

Jin pulled out his cell phone. "I'm going to call Jackson."

"Ugh." Crumbs groaned. "Please wait until I get out of here."

"Don't take it personally." Jin laughed. "He professed his love for me after seeing me naked one time. I'm sure your cooking skills amazed him into proposing."

"Every single time?" She shook her head. "And you gave him my number! I don't appreciate that!"

"I swear I didn't! He took it from my phone!" Jin responded.

She huffed.

"You want a ride home? Jackson said he'll drive us." Jin grinned.

Crumbs contemplated.

"You know you're going to give in. You don't pass up a free ride home ever." Jin pointed out.

She sighed, "You're right. Fine. But I'm sitting in the back."

Jin giggled, "I promise, he's harmless."

You sat in the subway, grinning widely at your stroke of luck. Although it wasn't much, you confirmed that the attractive baker knew you existed and even trusted you enough to lend you his umbrella. Holding the bag to your chest, you inhaled to try to hold in the butterflies fluttering around your stomach. But instead, it rumbled, signaling that it was hungry after your long day. You received odd looks from the other passengers. Looking down, you reached into the bag to quell your hunger so as not to disturb anyone with your noisy stomach anymore.

You smiled at the pastry you held, remembering your encounter with Kim Taehyung, the fantastic vet, and the man who had given up this exact pastry because you clumsily dropped yours. You had taken initiative to see him again, only to find that he was one of the head surgeons of the animal hospital now, so it was rare for him to just take check-up appointments. But you had caught glimpse of him in passing, and he was even more shockingly gorgeous than you remembered. His hair was slightly longer than when you first had bumped into him, and since he had just gotten out of the surgery room, it had been swept up to reveal his forehead.

But sadly, you hadn't been able to see him since. You would often wonder how he was doing and if you would be able to run into him coincidentally again.

"Um are you just going to smile at that, or are you going to eat it?" One of the passengers spoke up.

You turned red as people chuckled at the person's comment, and at your odd behavior. Squishing your body as small as possible, you started eating your pastry, extremely embarrassed.

"Hey!" Jin kissed you as you entered Club Masquerade.

You smiled as your hands slotted into his. "Hey."

"As requested, the room is set up as a casual living room." Jin bowed as he gestured for her to enter the room.

"You never disappoint me, Jin." You grinned.

"Only the best for you, of course." he chuckled. "So I see you had a good day since you aren't whining as soon as you come in."

You pushed him playfully. "I don't always come in here whining."

Jin gave you a knowing look, and you conceded. "Fine. I often do."

"I'll take it." He settled beside you. "Since you're in a good mood, what would you like to do?"

You hugged him and lay your head on his broad chest. "Just...maybe stay like this."

Jin's lips curled up as he rubbed your back. It always amazed you how he had come to know and understand you so well.

"Jin?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think some people are meant to be alone?"

He hummed, "I think some people choose to be alone, because it's not something they prioritize or want in life. I don't think anyone is meant to be alone. People are social creatures after all."

"I hope you're right." You nuzzled closer to him. "Why aren't you taken yet? I feel like girls would fall at your feet."

Jin chuckled. "I guess the right one hasn't come along for me either. Plus I haven't really been looking."

"Oh? Why not?" You glanced up curiously.

"Mmm I don't know. I guess I've always had the mentality of 'if it happens, it happens'?" he shrugged.

You sighed. "Lucky. I have the mentality that if I don't do something, it's never going to happen."

Jin nodded, "I guess there are some things that won't happen unless you make it happen and grab hold of it."

"But sadly, sometimes people take advantage of your obvious interest." You frowned.

"Hey, you're a courageous woman. Take pride in that." Jin complimented.

"I don't know about that..." you mumbled.

Jin clicked his tongue. "What did I say about taking compliments?"

You smiled, "Thank you."

Jin nodded in approval. "Better. Not many people can take the leap like you do. So even if you failed a few times, at least you tried and took the risk. You'd be surprised how many people are stuck in 'what ifs'."

You lifted your head up to stare at him. "I never thought of it like that."

"Aren't I great?" he teased.

You smacked his chest. "You, sir, need to wait for compliments instead of giving them to yourself."

"It's my charm." Jin grinned.

"That's true." You straddled him and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Are you stuck in a 'what if' now?"

"Mmm..." Jin leaned forward. "I'm wondering 'what if I wanted to kiss you right now? Would you kiss me back?'"

"That's not even a what if." You chuckled as you captured his lips with yours. "It's a certainty."

Jin grinned as he unbuttoned your shirt slowly. "And what if I wanted to make you feel even better than you do right now?"

"I would welcome that openly." You whispered as you helped him undress you.

Jin peppered kisses throughout your entire body, not sparing any part of your skin from his large, plump lips. Jin was the one person who had always been there for you, even when you had bared your soul, when you were at your most vulnerable. His touch was always careful and tender, and for the moment, you deluded yourself into believing he loved you. You knew he cared for you deeply, that you two had developed a bond, but another part of you wondered how much of it was his job and how much of it was real.

But you let yourself fall into the delusion, because it was so much better than the reality that awaited you outside of Club Masquerade.

So you reveled in the way his hands roamed your body, the way with each thrust, both of you would moan with pleasure, perfectly in sync, perfectly connected. You pulled him deeper into you, wanting him to fill you up, and he obliged, pushing in as much as your walls allowed him to and with a little more force; his lips never leaving yours unless it was to gasp, groan, or moan. When you came, your entire body was filled with immense jitters-- butterflies-- your heart soared, and your mind was blank from all thoughts except for how fantastic you were feeling. It was absolute bliss.

And it was always bittersweet parting from him, from your little haven away from the cruel world. But it also made you wonder how long you would be content with this transient type of relationship. As constant as Jin was, you knew he wasn't yours.

"Bundle up. It's chilly now." Jin tightened your scarf around your neck.

"Thanks." You smiled as you pushed out your lips. Jin chuckled and knowingly gave you a chaste kiss to bid you goodbye.

"Get home safely." he waved.

You stole another kiss from him before scurrying out the door.

You shivered as you felt the brisk night air. Dogs were heard barking in the distance and your mind was whisked back once again to thoughts of Taehyung. Even though you only spoke to him briefly, something in your heart stirred in that moment in time. You snorted. There you go again, falling for someone you hardly knew. Would he even remember you? Would he even want to see you again? You exhaled as you pulled your jacket closed.

A gust of wind knocked your hair into your face and you flailed around trying to regain your vision. Once you were free from your entangled hair, you realized you were standing in front of a building by Club Masquerade you had always passed but never took a good look at. You moved closer curiously at the bright neon sign, and the seemingly packed venue, wondering what it was exactly.

Suddenly, you stopped in your tracks and whipped your head towards the window as you spotted a familiar figure pass by. Rubbing your eyes, you prayed you weren't hallucinating. You gasped as Jungkook came into view as well, both of them carrying trays of drinks and laughing at something. Pressing your face closer to the window, it became more evident that the person who had caught your eye was, in fact, Kim Taehyung.

You had found him.

PART 2

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roccoroks · 6 years

Text

VOLUME 5 DAG POST SO ANOTHER ROD RUN HAS COME AND GONE AND IT HAS LEFT ME IN THE WAKE OF DISGRUNTELED GUEST OVER PARKING , ROOMS WITH BROKEN REFRIDGERATORS AND SEVERAL LOST ITEMS IN NEED OF BEING RETURNED TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS. SEVERAL THINGS HAPPENED THIS TIME AND I WILL TRY AND KEEP THINGS AS STRAIGHT AS MACH STYLES SEXUAL ORIENTAION SO BARE WITH ME! It was your typical rod run this spring in that there were classic cars as far as the eye could see, toilets were overflowing with the stench of nearly dead guests last dinners from the golden coral and I for the first time in 3 years had the day off to enjoy ………at work……even in my down time I have to come here….sux. The time is 4:30 pm, it officially hawt as bawls outside and im watching the desk while my new manager “monty” dips out for a bite to eat. The door opens and im faced with a loud, demanding, hateful women from PA….so a normal woman from PA….who is mad about parking. Me: *gee, I really hope the next 30 mins goes smoo….. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL! IT REEKS OF BITCH!* CLAB: *Crazy Loud Ass Bitch* umm….theres a man outside that’s saying that if I don’t move my car then he will have it towed or he will park his truck in front of it until Monday and called me a bitch……(ME: honestly I stopped paying attention to her at this point)……or im going to call the cops. Me: *fuck you karam, just because I like to rub vasoline all over my butt cheeks and press it against businesses plate glass windows in downtown under the cover of darkness, I have to deal with this?* CLAB: so…..what are you going to do about it? Im paying 175.00 a night and I feel I should beable to park where ever I want! Me: *you are the same bitch from last year aren’t you…* mam im really sorry about this but during the rod run we have over 5000 people and cars come into town and parking can get a bit limited. CLAB: WELL DON’T YOU THINK THAT’S NOT MY PROBLEM? Me: *oooooooh so we are going to go down this long road of stupidity?* like I said, mam, parking can get a bit hectic during these shows and we expect everyone to govern them selfs. CLAB: look you NEED to go out there and talk to this man or im going to report you to your manager. Me: *ah hellnah! Bitch you did not just…….. >.> i cant believe you just...how dare.....i may pee on you* Me: ok, lets go *get this over with* *we both walk out to the parking lot where im am greeted buy a mid 40’s male who knows me from years of rod runs and he seems to have been drinking and is in no mood for this ladies bullshit, I know because he says so in this dialog ^.^ * CLAB: this is the guy that spoke to me like I was trash Me: *because you do infact smell of a garbage bag filled with diapers that someone threw up on and set on fire....because thats what bitch smells like* DD: *drunk dude* look I never said any of that shit to you, your just making it up Me: but we haven’t even discussed what you said yet….never mind, look, why is it a problem for her to be parked here CLAB: *interrupts* oh there’s no problem, he just wants this parking spot to himself DD: look, my tools are in my truck and I need to work on my car and I don’t want to have to walk across the parking lot to get my tools every 5 mins Me: *and a long stager it must be 25 feet away! Beside, had you bought a ford instead of that rolling shit box you call a nova that’s more rust that nova, this wouldn’t be a problem* CLAB: that’s not my problem , I need a parking spot and this one was open Me: *5 points to bitchindore!* DD: MY GD CHAIRS WHERE IN THIS SPOT SAVING THEM FOR ME AND YOU JUST…..JUST…..MOVED THEM! LIKE THEY WERE NUTHIN! Me : *shee-took-yur-churrrs! * CLAB: well they were in the way! DD: iv had just about enough of your shit! ME: HO HO HO HO HO HANG ON A MIN! *yelling louder that both of them to convey my point* NOW LOOK, last year I put up two signs and handed out two flyers to ALL of my guests, including you, that 1. Trailers are no longer to be parked on site and 2. That chairs could no longer be used to save parking spots, meaning first come, first park no exceptions! DD:…….. I forgot about that, you did do that CLAB: *shoots a look of “take that bitch” Me: *looks at clab* I also told you on Tuesday when you checked in that this would happen with parking and that you would need to get a spot early to AVIOD THIS! CLAB: I don’t think that’s my problem do you? Me: *omfg if you say that one more motherfucking time* YES, yes it is your problem when I looked right at you and warned you this would happen and you ignored it! Is like I said “hey this coffee is hot, don’t pour it all over your face ok” and you did it anyway and couldn’t figure out why it hurt. CLAB: I just don’t see how this is my problem Me: * o.e there is a special place in hell for people like you! Its called florida* I honestly don’t know what to say. DD: I don’t know why this is such a problem, I mean there is a perfectly good spot open right over there by the pool doors, its closer too. Me: * O.e…..did I just hear a loud pop sound in my head? Why is everything starting to get shaky and I smell burning hair….am I having a aneurism?* did….you just? Surely you did say there is a parking spot right over there….right? DD: yeah, so I don’t see what all the fuss is about! *crosses arms and looks proud of him self CLAB: I don’t want that parking spot I want this one! Me: …….. *looks at both of them in disgust* so what’s wrong then? *both look at me like im a idiot* Me: *clearly im dealing with creatures with undeveloped brains not unlike that of a 5 year old or a form of mild cheese. I may have to get the speak and spell out for them* look, I should be in my office answering the phone and booking reservations for tomorrow night, instead im out here dealing with 2 12 year olds who are fighting over who gets to ride the tricycle next. There is a perfectly good spot right over there that either one of you could park in, its close to the hotel, and its close to your car so THERE IS NO PROBLEM. You two just wanted to be validated in what you both thought was right in your list of personal self-ethics and came and got me, someone half both of your ages to settle your squabble instead of acting like adults! CLAB: who’s your manager, ill have you fired for this! DD: …..mam, this young man is the owner. CLAB: *looks at me* WHY DON’T YOU TELL HIM TO APPOLGISE (or how ever its spelled) TO ME THEN! Me: *really….you are no longer mild cheese, im down grading you to Mexican! (yup, going to hell for that one)* because you started this! You both can’t act like adults and neither one of you deserves it! Look if I have to come back out here and deal with this again, you will both be looking for a lot more than a parking spot for the night! *walks off like a boss!* Meanwhile back in the halls of ‘’fort phone ringing the fuck off the wall’’, I have 12 people trying to call me at the same time Me: good afternoon RSML, how may I help you Dag: umm….yeah….um…hi…um like how much like…you know ….your Me: *come on you can do it* Dag: um….like your 2 room bed suites are? Me: *in what way was that even a fucking sentence….* when are you coming in? Dag: um….. like……you know….that time….next month? Me: hummmmmm that time next month….. Dag: oh! Um….yeah you know….like Saturday? Me: ok getting closer, we narrowed it day to 5 days instead of 31 Dag: oh, um….you like….. Me: *oh for fuck sake* *begins trying to pull my hair out and presses the phone harder to my ear out of frustration* Dag: like…that one Saturday that everyone's coming in? Me: 199.95 +tax Dag: wow that much? Me: *oh now you speak coherently* yes sir Dag: for which Saturday? Me: um like…you know...um...all of them Dag: *hangs up phone* Me: and a fine fuck you to you too sir *hangs up phone and turns around to see a family of 5 behind me* Me: how may I help you? FO5: we will just check somewhere else *walks out the door* Me: normally this would be bad but we are full soo……fuck em…. Monty: *from the back office* you should be nicer, they might have come back Me: really ass, you were back there the whole time and you couldn’t come to help me? Monty: I have a ham sandwich, this take precedent over pot heads asking about rates Me: you know I can fire you right Monty: you wont though Me: ……mother of fuck…..bitch called my bluff Few mins go by and im about to head out for the night when a man that I can only describe as so old that he may have known jesus on a personal level. Me: good after noon, how may I help you? *20 mins later he makes it to the desk* Old Dude: (we will call him OG cuz he gansta!) do you have anyrooms? Me: yes sir ! I have 2 br suites available *maybe this is a cool old dude and my night is turning around for the good* OG: oh good, what that Me: *ah you’re a crazy old man* well that’s our trademark room with 2 queen size beds! OGh I need 2 rooms with 2 beds in each room Me: well I have 2 2bed room suites side by side if that will work for ya? OG: no no no, I only need 4 beds not 8 Me….um…k….well if you get two of our 2 bed room suites then it would accommodate you that would give you 1 queen per bedroom OG: no no no then I would only have 2 beds, I need 4 *he is getting a bit angry…..or tired….or both, idk, hes old and hard to read* Me: I know sir but 1 of our 2br suites will have 2 queen beds OGh ok so that’s 1 room with 4 beds total right? Me: *O.e…wooooooooooooooow….* no sir that’s 2 beds total per room OG I know giving me 4 beds total right? Me: yes….wait no…what? OG: do you even have rooms with 4 beds/ Me: no sir OG: do you have 2 rooms? Me: yes OG: how many beds do they have Me: 2 per rooms OG: so you do have 4 beds per room? Me: whos on first? OG: what? Me: no whats on second, do you want a key so you can look at one of the rooms? OG: yes….wait, what? Me:...here…..*grabs pen and paper* OG: oh….nevermind, that’s not what im looking for ME: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU /RANT . . . . . . . . OR IS IT……

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wereg0blin · 6 years

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for the ask meme? all of them u thot

For ur and Cris' demand1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?Yes!!!!! 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?UhHHHHHH it is 3 years older than me but hhhhhhh probably not3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?Bicth ten mins ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?ALWAYS5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?If there are they can go fuck themselves right in the butthole6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?CHOKE-I dont know how but they found me - mr seen aka my eX hHHhH7. What exactly are you wearing right now?a cute ass blouse thingy some tights and christmas deer antlers on top of a Santa hat8. How often do you listen to music?every chance i get9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?jeans i guess10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?i dont even remember 201311. Are you a social or an antisocial person?both damn12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?On the cheek yes13. What about ‘R’?platonically yes14. Can you drive a stick shift?i can climb sticks???? does that count??? 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?they 100% do and i dont really care bc everyone talks shit about everyone 16. Are you going out of town soon?i dont know how to reply to this because i live in two towns17. When was the last time you cried?Wednesday i think,, i wish i could cry more often 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?i try to say it as much as i can bc i have a lot of love in my heart19. If you could change your eye color, would you?maybe a lighter blue bc gray blue isn't that pretty20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?not counting evan,,, uhh Boys ARE A BLESSING TO THIS WORLD FUXK YEAH21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.am planning to tell mh parents abt my depression but hHHHHH22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?if it has boy in it iT CUTE23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?NopE cris is like,,,, my best friend wtf24. What are you sitting on right now?b e d i t s o f t25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?FRIENS. LOVE THEM. 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?ALL THW TIME B I TCH27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?my roommates 28. Do you get a lot of colds?nop, but when i do its fuxked up29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Switzerland 30. Does anyone hate you?yepity depity do and i hope they burn in hell fucking pieces of shits31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?it will be a cold day in hell when i drink my dudes32. Do you like watching scary movies?BITCH I L OV E MAKING FUN OF MOVIESSO SEEING SHITTY SCARY MOVIES IS A FUCKING BLESSING 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?Nah how tf am i gonna eat spicy shit then???? ¿¿¿¿34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?2015????or 2016??? i think that was the worst my depression ever was35. Did you have a dream last night?i think????? 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?right now37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?hope not???? but then again???? kinda hope i do????? probably not doe38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?yes i know at least 2 boys and i feel so sorry for them39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?probs40. Did you have a good day yesterday?mmmeh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?oh shit i have no Fucking idea 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?y e s43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?i think???? cris must've told me at least one time and evan too so Uhhhh i guess???? ¿¿¿¿44. What’s the best part about school?i get to have unnecessary crushes45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?ppppplenty46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?yeah but he called me a slut and a whore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?god fucking hell all the time 48. Were you single over the last summer?yep49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?nope thank the whatever the fuck is out there 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?sleeping i guess51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?evan is a precious cinnamon roll fuck off 52. Are you nice to everyone?YES YES YES YES ALWAYS as i saidk i l l t h e m w i t h k i n d n e s s53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?h hh hhh fuCking tAke a wIld Gue Ss m854. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?bitch when i cheat will be the day i cut my throat 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?bad feelings? yescrushes? n0Pe56. Do you think you like someone?i think but i hope not57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?nop i do not Think so my dude 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?why THE FUCK would that matter59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?current ones?? i dont think so??? 60. Do you hate anyone?nah i just,,,, strongly dislike themexcept the fucking bitches i called friends i hopr they die in a fire 61. How’s your heart?idk i guess ok??? im always okay62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?not really pffft63. Have you ever cried over a guy?yes all the time,, boys r beautiful 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?hmmmmmmmmm idk i can think of a few people but i hope not 65. Are your toenails painted pink?I W I S H66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?bih i wish i could have my first kiss67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?if boyfriend cries i cry thats bad 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?poor poor souls that actually had this happen to them69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my sister!!! 70. How do you look right now?bored Even doe im honestly just relaxed 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?i do that with everyone bc if u don't like me u don't have tk be around me 72. Can you commit to one person?yes ofc!!!??? 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?even bby ilu74. Have you ever felt replaced?i think?? yes probs75. Did you wake up cranky?nop76. Are you a jealous person?hhhhHA YOU DONT EVEN K N O W77. Are relationships ever worth it?Theyre fun but the end of them makes me wanna die78. Anyone you’re giving up on?crushes and teachers 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?3 more years bih u better wait for meand u too eben b safe u dork80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?sssstudy h81. Last person you cried in front of?mom82. Is there someone you will never forget?yyyES83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?nope he doesn't really care about me anymore (although i dont think he ever did) 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?BICTH ID BE KISSING THAY THOT ALL OVER HER FACE AND WATCHING SAW AND VORING PIZZAEVEN DUDE HHHHELTS WATCH SAW 3 AND LAUGH AT THAT DUDE BREAKING HIS LEG AND THWN I CAN HUG YOU TILL I DIE FROM DEHYDRATION 85. Are you over your past?i ggggUess??? 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?i have no idea 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? @lady-misfortune @space-ace-sneevee @thelilshadowchild88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?what has been has been but i guess idk yet bc ive had like 1 bf for now 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?never kissed 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?i guess???????? 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?i sure as hell have no idea92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Michael Jackson and I are best buddies bItch93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?noPe94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?i was in a relationship with my laptop and i didnt leave him from 7pm to 6am 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?he a dicky 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?bicth fucjing prettiest people youll find97. Who do you have texts from?crissy gorl that im too lazy to reply to98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?happened to me and i said "glad u told me earlier i dont want u being with me if u r uncomfy" it did hurt like a fucking bitch doe99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?bitch never kissed 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?me, myself and i101. Ever kissed under fireworks?NEVER KISSED FFS102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?IN a jar nicely packed and handed to me? no but stomach butterflies so bad i wanted to throw up? yes

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