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the-swift-tricker · 1 year

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breaking down the members of the batfam:

bruce wayne (emotionally repressed autistic dad/tired but loving/"i'd die for you. ask me to die for you.")

alfred pennyworth (beloved grandfather and backbone of the house/"cool you were in the circus too alfie?" "a different type of circus master richard"/the most flexible on the whole no killing rule thing)

dick grayson (embarrassing "stay silly" older brother/eldest child/self-titled "bruce's little angel")

barbara gordon (adopted bruce more than he adopted her/this family would not survive without her it support/only one who knows how to work the router)

jason todd (the try hard wanna be cool accidentally cool but not in the way he meant brother)

tim drake (gifted child syndrome overachiever middle-child-and-mentally-ill-about-it bisexual nerd)

damian wayne (asshole baby man with a heart of absolute gold and a closet full of swords/tiny and feral/why does he have so many swords??)

stephanie brown (the goldilocks of the family/showed up one day and refused to leave/heartbreaker/know-nothing know-it-all, "get your feet of the furniture, stephanie")

cassandra cain (the darling daughter/autistic queen/"cuddled nicely" and "bit my ass" rolled into one/don't look directly at her too long or you'll fall in love)

duke thomas ("finally someone normal around here"/"oh no he's just as bad"/the day shift/probably does way too many light related puns)

selina kyle ("hot milfs in your area"/bruce's lover on the down low that literally everyone knows about/enamored by his autistic swagger/not married to bruce but would take the kids in the event of divorce)

kate kane (fucking rad lesbian wine aunt/kicker of ass, spoiler of nephews and nieces)

harper row ("alfred where did this punk child come from?"/"SHE'S GOTTA GUN"/best music taste out of any of them/once turned a lawn mower into a drag car/it was awesome)

lucius fox (other grandpa/ twead wearing dad/"bruce you need to pay your taxes"/"bruce getting shot point blank in the back is not advisable"/"bruce the hague tends to frown on child soldiers")

lucas fox (conceivably he should be smarter than getting mixed up in all this/still got mixed up in all this/"don't you think batwings a little too...on the nose?" "says the guy that calls himself batman")

helena bertinelli (cranky cousin that is beloved by a few and feared by all/"why doesn't her boyfriend have a face?"/"SHE'S GOTTA CROSSBOW!")

harley quinn (bisexual vodka aunt that's really just bruce's friend from college/has invited herself over for every hanukkah ever since finding out bruce is jewish too)

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panther-os · 4 months

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Full Name and Family Headcanons

For the extended 141 family plus the fruity bastard betrayer (derogatory (affectionate)), some more complete than others. If any of this is directly contradicted by canon, I don't care, that's why they're headcanons

Soap

John Steven Donald MacTavish

Two loving parents, the youngest with at least 3 older siblings, all sisters. Closely enough related to the Chief of the Name and Arms of MacTavish to a) be considered low upper class and b) know his exact place in the line of hereditary succession. Also the kilt he wears on special occasions is always the modern MacTavish tartan, do your research. Grew up in Bonnyrigg outside Edinburgh and is emotionally attached to Sir Salter Scott

Ghost

Simon Lorcán Riley

Same family and circumstances as '09 Ghost (extremely poor, abusive dad, oldest of two boys), but give him loving maternal grandparents and three cousins. He's Irish by ethnicity and heritage, which a few family members kept alive and passed down to him, but British by nationality. His great-great-(great-?)grandparents migrated to Manchester during the Great Hunger, but his aunt moved back to Ballylongford where some of the family originally lived. His cousins and maternal grandmother are all alive but think he's dead and he keeps it that way for their safety. His middle name is after his maternal grandfather who died when he was young and was given to him by his grandma. I do also hc he's trans and have a deadname headcanon for him but I don't share those. The specific neighborhood he grew up in inside Manchester was Beswick

Gaz

Kyle Adam Garrick

Grew up in Brixton in London, relatively poor with two loving but working parents, but also with an enormous tight-knit community and more neighborhood aunties and uncles and cousins than he knew what to do with. Has one baby sister but she's 20 years younger than him so she's a baby baby and he was already enlisted and moved out when she was born

Price

John Matthew Price

Grew up in Anfield in Liverpool, near the football stadium. Avid fan, ropes Ghost into Liverpool vs Man United debates every season. Ghost doesn't even like football. Middle class, working dad and stay at home mom, older sister, younger sister

Roach

Gary Parker Sanderson

Working poor, older sister, younger brother

Laswell

Katherine Emma Laswell

Middle class child of divorce, no step-siblings or step-parents, lesbian wine aunt who's basically Kate Kane (coincidentally Kate's favorite superhero)

Nikolai

Nikolai Antonovich Pokrovsky

Absent parents, one younger sister

Farah

Farah Leyla Karim

Canon family - two loving parents killed by AQ, one older brother. Her middle name is the Georgian spelling of the Arabic name Layla (see my post about Urzikstan and Abkhazia for why this spelling)

Alex

Alexander Jeremiah Keller

Two older sisters, two triplet sisters (one an hour older, one three hours younger), two younger sisters, single mom, also raised by aunt and grandmother

Alejandro

Alejandro Ernesto Vargas Leon

Grew up working poor, dad died when he was three, mom had to work, older brother 4ys older took jobs for the cartel starting at 12-ish to make ends meet and left Ale as the "man of the house" at 8. Also has one 4ys younger sister (same dad, mom was pregnant) and 12ys younger twin baby brothers (different dad who chose not to be in the picture, oopsie babies). He loves the twins but wants to hang them upside down by their shoelaces more often than not, his sister is just as mischievous but more mature and subtle about it which made her easier to raise

Rudy

Rodolfo Ildefonso Parra Rosales

Born into a poor family, cartel killed his parents when he was three, adopted by a single mom after that. His new family is unrelated to the Cartel but his bisabuela is just as feared and respected as El Sin Nombre and La Araña before her, if not more in some parts of the city. Learned his best chancla skills from her. Only child but grew up in a massive multigenerational multifamily home with at least 20 older cousins - was the baby until he was 7 and now he's the second youngest

Graves

Phillip Windsor Graves

Upper class, born to parents who had an heir to the company because it was expected of them but who didn't actually want or like kids. Essentially raised by a rotating cast of nannies

#/incoherent noises/#call of duty #cod mwii #soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #captain price #gary roach sanderson #kate laswell #farah karim #alex keller #alejandro vargas #rudy parra #phillip graves #headcanons #call of duty headcanons #cod nikolai

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contstant0crisis · 2 years

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Meet - The BatFam (tw:Image Heavy)

Bruce "Extremely Tired Dad" Wayne

Alfred "The Only One With Comman Sense, Also God" Pennyworth

Commissioner James "The Civillian Uncle" Gordon

Barbara "Done With Your Shit" Gordon

Dick "Big Brother With No Self-Preservation" Grayson

Stephanie "Part-Time Vigilante, Full-Time Little Shit" Brown

Cassandra "The Only One With An Actual Brain Cell" Cain-Wayne

Damian "Adorable Murder Child" Wayne

Jason "Dramatic Bitch/Bookworm Zombie Crimelord" Todd

Selina "Can And Will Put Bruce In His Place" Kyle

Timothy "Can Hack The Pentagon For Fun But Is Still A Disaster Bi" Drake-Wayne

Duke "The Constantly Exasperated One" Thomas

Kate "Neutral Chaotic Lesbian Wine Aunt" Kane

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kate-les-bridge-stewart · 1 year

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I recently discovered @grandadtwelve 's wacky polycule au and it inspired me to make up a slightly weirder au cus that's what I do best

I'm gonna include twissfle and osgate cus all of them are objectively hot as fuck

Warning this will mention vaping briefly so if you dont like that just be warned

Also be warned this is mostly just gonna be me projecting my depression onto all of these characters (but mostly clara, osgood and kate)

So in this 12 clara and missy are all dating and osgood and kate are secretly dating

In this clara is chronically depressed and vapes to cope

Shes basically the depressed friend who always has dark circles under their eyes and is fucking hilarious

Shes also luciferian cus why not lol

Bill is here too

Bill is a poor college student who's Clara's gay bff

Who am I kidding nobody in this au is straight

I may as well just list them

Clara - bi and she/they gender questioning, possibly genderfluid

12 - he/they agender, pan and demisexual

Missy - she/her pansexual

Kate - she/her bi (leaning more towards women)

Osgood - any pronouns GNC lesbian

When I said nobody was straight I mean it

So in this au missy is less, well, abusive to clara since obviously they love each other

And I think shed empathize a lot with Clara's struggle with depression

I'll expand on Clara's depression a bit more but itll include mentions of sh so I'll put that in another post with a warning

Missy still teases obviously but shell occasionally "check in" on clara in subtle ways

12 is his usual self, completely clueless when it comes to affection and just a general goofball

I decided to add that hes into more heavy metal cus why not lol

River pops into their little polycule every now and then for a quick fuck

Clara, bill and missy may or may not get together to get more stoned than a fucking quarry every weekend

Bill has a little side gig where she may or may not grow and sell weed

Dont mess with 12 and his 2 weed smoking girlfriends

As for osgate, kate canonically has 2 sons, Gordon or Gordy (19) and Harry (they dont actually have a canon name so I'm giving them one) (15)

Given that osgood has been dating kate for about a year she found it much easier to adapt to parenthood with already grown kids, she doesnt know if shed be able to handle young kids lol

Kate and osgood are huge movie buffs and love watching and critiquing movies/tv shows together

Their favorite show is breaking bad cus of course it is lol

Osgood is autistic and one of their hyper fixations is on minecraft but specifically advanced redstone engineering

One of the biggest ways she bonds with the kids was thru gaming

Shes a pretty serious gamer too lol

Shes played skyrim, oblivion, fallout 4 and new Vegas, GTA 5, most of the doom games including the classics, smash bros (which she loves playing with the kids), overwatch, and a shitload more

Being a technician she naturally has a super advanced pc setup which is duelly a gaming setup

She built Harry and Gordy's pcs with them and it spawned some of their favorite memories together

Back to talking twissfle, Missy will occasionally let harry and Gordy take a ride in her tardis as a treat

Clara always makes sure to supervise for obvious reasons

Clara is like the cool aunt that always has a cigarette (or in this case a vape) in her mouth and will let Harry have a sip of her wine when the parents arent looking

That's all I've got for now lol

#doctor who #dw au #12th doctor #osgood #petronella osgood #kate lethbridge stewart #kate stewart #osgate #twissfle #twissy #missy #missfle #whouffaldi #12clara #clara oswald #clara oswin oswald

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halforcdad · 2 years

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Seems unlikely considering how In-the-Promo Whistler is, but it would be funny if the Pearl Team was like "ok we need FBI, call Whistler" and FBI were like "Well, Whistler is off today but we got other agents to help you out if you want" and they were like "but...Whistler is Our Liasion :(" and got Lucy to find her and drag her into this chaos anyway

#ncis hawaii #kacy #kate whistler #dont get me wrong im gonna die over all the kate/kacy content in this ep #but i want the whole team to eventually show me some 'but we love whistler whistler is our person' love #whistler is tennants friend and therefore ncis's tired wine aunt that has to be on call to babysit #i also just want whistler to be mean again and everyone to be like wait u guys Like whistler???#and the team to be like yeah shes mean but shes our mean lesbian back off

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girlfrommars28 · 3 years

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Batfamily sexuality headcanons

Alfred is the straight supportive grandpa, he is a great ally and everyone loves him, he makes the best rainbow cookies

Bruce is a disaster bisexual dad with a preference for women

Dick is a disaster pansexual icon, this man does not give two fucks about gender, he just loves to love everyone

Barbara is either bisexual or the best straight ally(second place to Alfred, of course)

Jason is pansexual and Polyamorous, his datemates are great and he loves them with all his heart

Tim is a chaotic gay with a coffee addiction and bad sleep habits, Kon always has to make sure that he takes care of himself

Steph is a raging chaotic bisexual, she’s like a Golden Retriver, must protect her at all costs

Cass is the best, I love Cass, she’s my smol bean and nobody’s allowed to touch her... she is either a lesbian icon or an asexual icon... or both... in any case Cassandra Cain is an icon

Damian is asexual and I also see him as demiromantic (also, I’m pretty sure him and Jon have something, it’s so pure and wholesome I just love it)

Duke Thomas, my baby is pansexual, another smol bean that must be protected at all costs... also, I think he is Non-Binary, but he uses he/him or he/they pronouns

Selina is the bisexual mom

And of course, as everyone should know this by now, Kate Kane, our lesbian wine aunt/gay cousin, honestly she’s the best, she will kick butt if someone tries to insult/disrespect you

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just-an-aussie-fandom-hermit · 4 years

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The BatFam at Gotham Pride 2020.

(Running under the assumption that they’re not affected by the virus).

- Kate “How Dare You Assume I’m Straight” Kane, rocking up to pride parades as the local lesbian wine aunt, donating generously to youth groups and LGBT+ activist campaigns. Later, checking in as a Batwoman (because no cops at pride, except Jim Gordon because he’s the mvp and Renee Montoya, a lesbian and also The Question). I imagine she waves around a lesbian pride flag or has one attached to her cape.

- All the Robins/Bats either appear directly for a little while (saying hi, de-escalating arguments, helping people make signs and banners) or swinging overhead waving their respective pride flags.

Jason attends as Red Hood (sans the guns, because they’re probably very triggering for plenty of people, and the whole point is to feel safe), with a bi pride flag and a trans pride flag.

Steph also rocks a bi pride flag, popping in as Batgirl as well as Stephanie Brown.

Dick appears as his civilian self and Nightwing, boasting a pansexual flag as a cape.

Tim hangs up a bi pride flag in his room, his office at WE, and attends several festivities as Red Robin (or Drake).

Bruce comes out as bi during a speech beforehand, makes absolutely insane amounts of monetary donations (perks of being a billionaire), signal boosts LGBT activist groups and celebrities. He then attends several events a suit, sipping colourful mocktails while chilling on a float. Being very on-brand and extra.

Cullen is loud and proud, painting tiny gay pride flags onto his cheeks. Harper joins him as both her civilian self and as Bluebird.

Damian posts a selfie of him and his pets, with an ace pride flag in the background. He looks only slightly murderous.

- Various other straight, Gotham-bound vigilantes (or whatever the Outlaws qualify as) attend wearing shirts and/or banners/signs showing their support. (ie. “I’m straight but I don’t hate!” or “I support my LGBT bestie!”)

- Roy tags over a bunch of homophobic slurs/graffiti and paints a bunch of pride flags over them. He’s over there with his gay pride flag as a cape, living his best life.

- Duke and Harper hears about what he’s doing while they’re patrolling the Narrows, goes to the nearby hardware store, buys heaps of spray paints, and then they both go to town erasing slurs and dodgy graffiti and replacing them with pride flags and positive messages.

—> Bonus: They get Instagram famous!

- Alfred volunteers as a vendor for the parade, because he wants to make sure everyone has access to food. He also wears one of those “free grandpa hugs” shirts.

- Bruce, as Batman, is uncomfortable with conversing with civilians for long periods of time (especially in the daylight) but he approaches a group of distressed kids (obviously at their first parade) who have been separated from their friends and helps them rejoin their group. He holds up one of those tiny pride flags (the ones connected to toothpicks, or something) to show his solidarity, and then disappears in classic Batman fashion. The kids lose their minds.

- Bruce, as Batman, travels to Arkham Asylum to spend an afternoon with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, resident bisexuals and currently in a relationship. He checks in to make sure they’re not bring mistreated or discriminated against for their sexualities. He negotiates to have little pride flags placed in their cells.

- The Rogues enter a kind of unspoken truce, to not do anything too drastic during the parades (because they know the retaliation from the Bats and other Rogues will be especially vicious.)

(Please add more to this I would love to read some headcanons!)

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dilfbatman · 3 years

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who would rachel purposefully annoy in the batfam and why is it bruce wayne? 🥰 can u do headcanons I Would Like To Hear Your Thoughts

OH MY GOD... YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO MY HEART <3

- bruce is indifferent to children annoying him to death and he’s perfected his stone cold facade but sometimes it breaks and it’s for the sweetest most softest reasons... sometimes rachel gets into hyperfixation mode and since bruce himself & the whole batfam has adhd he totally just Gets it... like rachel will speak for hours on end about art and painting and the different styles and bruce will just sit there. listening. ears wide open and eyes just so soft bc a lil fun fact about bruce is that he loves art! he tries to paint and draw as a hidden hobby so when rachel talks about it he’s like !!!!! this is so cute and i am Listening to you lil red <3

- other times rachel will just Annoy him for shits and giggles she’ll be like 😳 damn bruce um who got paint on your table??? and that cheeto dust... i thought you said you don’t eat junk food? 🤨 and bruce is like. You Heathen. How Dare You. and she just runs around pressing buttons and has bruce chase her bc what’s life about if not having The Batman chase you around his batcave for the laffs <3

- ok but rachel actually has the best relationship w damian bc they’re art buddies :’) she treats him like an equal and they gossip and talk about whatever while painting things and drawing! bruce got them a sick art set and they use it all the time :’) dami makes lil paintings for bruce to hang in his study and for his brothers to hang on their walls and rachel makes scenery art for percy, piper, will & drew! wayne manor is stunning and it’d be a shame not to capture its beauty as it is

- OK BUT ALSO. RACHEL & BARBARA!!!!! they’re both smart spunky fun cute red-headed black girls <3 her and rachel probably have the best sisterly bond like genuinely - they just seamlessly became friends -> sisters and it’s so nice for babs to have someone that is a breath of fresh air from all the batfam craziness so i think w babs, rachel is super relaxed and chill bc she knows babs needs it! babs is also so good at advice so she gives it to rachel whenever and they have lil slumber parties and max out brucie’s credit card when they’re bored and frankly? good for them <3 AND ALSO??? THEY ARE BOTH ORACLES AND WHEN THEY FOUND OUT it was like that spider-man meme <3 rachel teases babs bc she’s like damn are you gonna take my job 🤨🙄 and they both laugh about it bc they’re just Dorks like that

- bruce actually was gonna beat up rachel’s dad once bc he hadn’t seen her in a while and rachel was like it’s ok you’re like a dad to me anyways! and she said it offhandedly and bruce just stood there and his eyes were glassy??? and he just walked to her and hugged her and let me tell you. there’s nothing more better, pure, warm, and comforting than a bruce wayne hug. and for some reason rachel just couldn’t fucking let go and she started crying and bruce sat down on the grass and hugged her and held her until she calmed down. she didn’t know she had so much pent up but being an oracle is so fucking draining and bruce just held her and she ranted and vented and she looked at him and he said “you are my daughter. i love you okay? whenever you need anything you let me know. i’ll always catch you and i always got you.” and god was it so fucking comforting to hear! everyone is there for demigods but being the Prophetic One is hard bc she isn’t herself like her body gets taken over sometimes and she take everyone’s death on her head bc she gave out the prophecy! and bruce just understands completely and lets her know she’s never alone and that he has her

- but ok sappiness aside. rachel is such a light to have around bc she is just so funky fresh and blunt and so creative and is a breath of fresh air! dick & jason are protective of their lil sis and her and tim are skater buddies! dami is her art buddy and duke is her Other Half <3 cass & steph & babs have girl night w rachel along with kate kane the iconic lesbian wine aunt and listen just being around that family is a wild ride and she wouldn’t trade it in ever! bruce is her father figure and he’s like. damn i got another kid again <3 that’s wild :’)

#asks #rachel called bruce a dilf as a joke once and bruce had to urban dictionary it bc him and clark thot it meant ‘dad i love forever’#bruce wayne #rachel elizabeth dare #i’m too lazy to tag them all but this is niche anyways 😭#pjo #dc #simi tag

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smnthchrstn · 5 years

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I need to make sure, YOU DO ALL 99 QUESTIONS, 99 being "ask anything" so, question for 99 is... Christine or Samantha?

Quite possibly the scariest ask meme I’ve ever answered lmao

how tall are you? I’m somewhere around 5′7 - 5′8

what is your body type? It’s a body, it keeps me alive lol

what is your favorite part about your body? My hair, usually.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? No

are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy

are you more femme or butch? I wanna say femme but that’s only because I have very long hair atm.

are you tol or smol? Tol more than smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? I nervously bruise myself as weird as that sounds. If I’m at work during a stressful call I’ll end up accidentally bruising my legs or arms by squeezing them so hard in a panic

favorite meme? Lately I’ve been saying stuff and putting this gif of Sarah Paulson from Bird Box right after whatever I’ve said. I’ll include it at the end or my formatting will get all messed up.

do you sing in the shower? Occasionally when I’m waiting the three minutes for my deep conditioner to deep condition (?) I’ll sing Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Gypsy.

ever used a bow and arrow? No

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Live? No

do you think musicals are cheesy? No way!

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I haven’t.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I’ve never played it physically, but I’ve played it online a couple times.

last movie you watched? Ghostbusters. I needed some Kate McKinnon :P

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? American Horror Story or Friends

meaning behind your url First and middle name and then roleplay

reason you joined tumblr Many years ago the lead singer of my favorite band at the time had it.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I couldn’t pick just one person.

what’s something most people love that you hate? Seafood?

have you ever taken narcotics? No lol

have you had sex? Sex means a lot of things to a lot of different people and as far as what I consider sex to mean to me; no I have not.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? One time the cops followed me home at sixteen because they thought my friend had beer in the car. We were really sims junkies and had several cans of Red Bull and Monster in her backseat.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? This is dumb, but last year I lied to my mom about a hickey that my partner at the time gave me. I had too many to hide and that was my fault lol spoiler alert: she didn’t believe my dumb ass.

describe your passion without mentioning it. Pen, paper, gay

describe your best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. I love her to death.

give us one thing about you that no one knows. Well, I mean two people know this but this past weekend I relapsed for the first time in God knows how long and that’s something I have a lot of shame over. Even though I know anyone reading this won’t find it shameful because we all or most of us deal with this kind of thing.

how do you feel right now? I’m emotional from the last question lol

what is your biggest fear? Abandonment

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Mamma Mia, the ABBA version.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Coming out! Literally saved my life.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? All the time

something you fantasize about. I fantasize about a day that I can love someone and finally believe they aren’t going to walk away or make me feel that I’m not good enough.

last time you cried and why I cried on Saturday because I didn’t want to be alive anymore lmao this is dark you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

what was the last thing that made you laugh? The Meryl Streep meme lol

do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. Different people at different times.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I really don’t know.

the last time you felt broken? I feel broken every day, haha. Today?

are you starting to realize anything? Starting? I don’t necessarily think so.

are you more dominant or more submissive? I can be either, depending on the other person and the situation.

i’ll only date you if you love Sarah Paulson.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I’ve liked people older, I’ve liked people younger. I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone my own age, though. I’m open to whatever.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. G r e a t d e t a i l

do you have any kinks? See the turn on question.

first thing you notice in a person? Eyes, hair and kindness/personality.

how can someone win your heart? Loyalty and common interests.

been rejected by a crush? Of course

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I never text, it’s probably like Kelly lmao. I’ll show her this, but no. I don’t think I’ve ever been romantically involved with a straight girl.

is trust a big issue for you? Yeppp

did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t hang out with anyone tbh

is confidence cute? I think if a girl knows she’s got it, then that’s great. Like own whatever you’re good at / if you’re cute af own that you’re cute af. Everyone’s cute af, girls are unbelievable

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Hypothetically, if I liked a person and they kissed someone else deep down inside that would probably make something in my chest flinch, but I wouldn’t say anything.

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I don’t think so, but I laugh pretty easily.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? To be completely honest, when I came out I pretty much memorialized every girl I liked from 11 years old to 2017 within my coming out letter. Anybody I’ve liked from 2017 - present knows that I liked them. I’m usually the “keep it in until I die” kind of person though.

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve done this several times and I’m sure I’ll never stop.

do you want to get married It scares me, but yeah.

worst thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally told a client “That’s great, bye!” when she told me her husband couldn’t hear properly to do a survey. (I was very sick and a little high on painkillers)

three things that turn you on. Cover your eyes kiddos. 1) Thigh kisses. 2) Lower stomach kisses. 3) Neck kisses / hickeys. Friiiick

who do you hate? Hate is a very strong word, I greatly dislike someone but that’s neither here nor there.

favorite term of endearment? Probably baby, but I like honey if I’m the one saying it

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Courteney Cox

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Someone who is trustworthy, kind, sensitive and again as always can make a grilled cheese that doesn’t look like a wet sock

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I’ve liked literally all of them, I’m just a giant lesbian

are you good at flirting? Nope lmao

who was the first person you came out to? I think it was @therainbowtink if we’re getting technical here but I’m sure @onenighttofuckupmylife had to be a close second once I really knew for sure.

do you have any friends who are wlw? All of them except two

is your crush wlw? All of my crushes have been, thankfully

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? No man has that power, come on now

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Dear self, you are a dumb ass. Love, Samantha.

do you fall in love easily? Ohohoho

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. It varies, but I’ve got a couple.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I try, I have no idea if I’d ever make it as an actor. I act at work every day when I pretend to not have severe anxiety lol

are you a forgiving person? Yes

what is your “type?” I have no type, I’m just gay af

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? They’re both such rewarding places to be. Being able to give someone that comfort is one of life’s greatest gifts, but when you’re really really tired or really really sick you want nothing more than to curl up against your person and pass tf out against them. I couldn’t choose.

tall girls or short girls? Both!

hugs or kisses? Oof. I don’t know, it depends on the situation. Both are fun. I’m kind of an awkward hugger I’d rather snuggle

twirl her around or get twirled? I’m too old both of those make me want to throw up haha.

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Honestly they both fuck me up, but I like giving tummy kisses better than giving thigh kisses.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck always

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? These are both very rewarding who wouldn’t choose both

making out or soft kisses? Soft, but sometimes you just need to make out 🤷‍♀️

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both!

how confident are you in your sexuality? 110%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Butterflies in the stomach 110%

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Do you mean every single time I’ve liked someone? I’m reasonably sure every girl I’ve ever liked up until present know that I liked them.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? This question is tricky. I was 10 when I had my first crush on a girl. 17 when it happened again, but didn’t acknowledge that I had one until 20.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? I’ve done a thousand embarrassing thins.

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Foxxay and no because Ryan Murphy is a coward.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? When I came out my grandma told me “we have no reason to discuss your sex life” and that not only aggravated me, but hurt. Alternatively, my aunt told me that I like girls because my dad wasn’t around for a chunk of my life and that hurt me I think more than aggravated me, although it did that too because it’s never been any of her business.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? Have you seen Sarah Paulson? Every single day. Every. day.

what is love to you? Love is when you care about someone and their well-being. We love our pets, we love our family, we love our friends, we love artists and actors and musicians. We love ourselves. Love comes in many forms.

ask me anything. Call me whatever you want (just not Sam lol)

A straight couple: shows PDA in public

Me:

#asks #personal tag.#thank you this made me insanely emotional #there's some pg13 themes under the cut #self harm tw #sorry i just don't want anyone to feel triggered by what i've said #alurous

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freugeist · 6 years

Text

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

I was tagged by @lesknope, thank you so much fran!!!

Last….

1. Drink – water

2. Call – my aunt

3. Text message – my friend

4. Song you listened to – nothing’s gonna hurt you baby by cigarettes after sex

5. Time you cried – couple of months ago, dunno

Ever….

6. Dated someone twice? – never dated anyone in general rip

7. Kissed someone and regretted it – nope

8. Been cheated on – no

9. Lost someone special – yes

10. Been depressed – yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up – once or twice

Rest under the cut….

Fave Colors…

12. dark reds (like wine red and burgundy)

13. cream white

14. yellow like in the emoji heart

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends – yessss

16. Fallen out of love – kind of

17. Laughed until you cried – every time i laugh

18. Found out someone was talking about you – nah

19. Met someone who changed you – kinda i guess

20. Found out who your friends are – oh big time

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list – no!

General…

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl – a good 80-85%

23. Do you have any pets – my fam has a labrador but i don’t have any pets at my place unfortunately

24. Do you want to change your name - no i love my lesbiconic name

25. What did you do for your last birthday – uhh i think i went out for lunch with my mom and sisters and uni started again that day

26. What time did you wake up today – 7:00

27. What were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. What is something you can’t wait for – meeting gillian on saturday and going to norway for a semester starting in august!!!!!

30. What are you listening to right now – apocalypse by cigarettes after sex lmao

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom – don’t think so

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves – people insisting cishet aces/aros are lgbt

33. Most visited website - twitter

34. Hair colour - very light brunette/dark blonde i guess

35. Long or short hair – a little over shoulder length

36. Do you have a crush on someone – gillian anderson and 2 other people i am a slut

37. What do you like about yourself – i’m excitable and will get these random intense flashes of energy and have handled every card i’ve been dealt in life so far so... maybe i’m also reliable and structured

38. Want any piercings? – no other real ones really beside the ones in my ears

39. Blood type – no idea

40. Nicknames – ellie

41. Relationship status – useless single lesbian

42. Zodiac – aries

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fave shows - the fall, friends, modern family, b99

45. Tattoos – i have the outline of a maple leaf on the left side of my ribcage

46. Right or left handed - right

47. Ever had surgery - thankfully not

48. Piercings - just those in my ears

49. Sport – the occasional session at the gym

50. Vacation – london april 13-16

51. Trainers – converse

More General….

52. Eating – chips

53. Drinking – water

54. I’m about to watch – riverdale yes i hate myself

55. Waiting for – my parcel delivery tomorrow and derm appointment on wednesday

56. Want – to go to canada again

57. Get married – yes!!!!!!!!!!! i want to have a wife!!!!!!

58. Career – i... want to be a prof

Which is better…

59. Hugs or kisses – hugs

60. Lips or eyes - eyes

61. Shorter or taller – taller or same height

62. Older or younger – older

63. Nice arms or stomach – arms for hugging and cuddling reasons

64. Hookup or relationship – relationship but i’m scared

65. Troublemaker or hesitant – hesitant

Have you ever…

66. Kissed a stranger – nope

67. Drank hard liquor – yeah

68. Lost glasses – last week. ran through my parents’ house for 10 minutes in my half-blind state

69. Turned someone down – yesss girls and guys alike. lesbian rejector

70. Sex on first date – nooooo

71. Broken someones heart – yes

72. Had your heart broken – yes

73. Been arrested - no

74. Cried when someone died – no i mean i am affected but i just hardly ever cry

75. Fallen for a friend – lowkey kinda yeaaaah

Do you believe in….

76. Yourself – sort of, on good days

77. Miracles – definitely

78. Love at first sight – not love, but a first stage of that kind of affection

79. Santa Clause – ahaaaa no

80. Kissing on a first date – yesss

81. Angels – yes

Other…

82. Best friend’s name – rosie

83. Eye colour – green/grey

84. Fave movie – imagine me & you

85. Fave actor – gillian anderson!!! and kate winslet lowkey i just wish she’d not be problematic

tagging @mooninlesbian @greentealesbian @annavolovodov @mappho @enbyshaw @hadestudy @middletonkate @madchenamicks @sparklightdreams @aphrodihe & generally anyone who’d like to do this!!!

#hobbies: oversharing #love it #tagged

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