#noelle does things out of spite!

[joelsdagger]

alright fuck it. joel miller x plus sized reader one shot goes up this weekend!

#announcement #noelle speaks #noelle does things out of spite! #fic: talking body

[landograndprix]

start of the season and everyone in twt is like "uhhh zoë leclerc dressed in papaya???" and noelle shows up with charles like isn't bahrain just amazing place drama to happen. love square + homies hopper + bro code + step dad + max and daniil type thing. so much chaos im so excited for whatever you decide to do!!!!

charles being so stressed because he has to act normal when being interviewed by jenson and his ex gf and out of spite lando joining the lot? A little Dnf as karma? I mean, miss girl her dad does work for the FIA 👀

[swan2swan]

Huh, your Black Clover post reminded me of a train of thought I had about Shonen Female Leads? What makes for a good one period and what makes for one that is good in spite of the story around them?

Furthermore what does it mean for them to be "useless" as opposed to just not being the main asskicker of the lead cast? Apologies if this turns into something way too complicated.

Not at all!

So, there are several categories of "Useless" that female characters can fall into. One is the "Actually Useless", where you can cut them out and things don't really change. Examples being Tenten, Ururu, Loly and Menoly, probably some girls in One Piece...yes, Ururu helps with Ichigo's training and stalls Ilfort, but she's mostly just there to provide a sense of scale for the enemies. This is honestly usually what they're for. And it's fine, mostly...there's plenty of useless dudes, too. Jinta isn't exactly more useful than Ururu, save for his cute subplots with Karin. They're really just There, and that's...not usually the issue with the Female Characters we're talking about. You need to be a bigger hitter.

The more prominent ones are the Winless Ones. They might be important to the plot, but they ain't gonna carry a fight. This becomes MUCH more dangerous to their integrity. Hinata and Sakura kinda fall into this category: they're USEFUL, ridiculously so, and they have Big Moments, but they'll get scorned by a fandom because they're really only there to be the Side Character Woman. Often they'll get a Dedicated Chick Fight (this also happens to villains). Orihime is often viewed similarly: obviously, being a medic is CRUCIAL to Story Progression, having your Dedicated Healer is essential to keep the story going (see also: Bulma in the Namek Arc), but they're rarely going to have their Big Moments like that.

It's also a very, very sliding scale...but what I generally want for a Successful Female Character in an anime is for her to have the same bloody, tooth-grinding, hard-fought, well-planned victories that we read and watch shonen to see. I want them screaming with fury, mustering up all their energy, pulling out combos, unleashing hidden techniques, and finally persevering. It's fine if they fall short against a big opponent once or twice! Happens to everyone in Shonen! But by the fifth time your Female Lead finds herself fighting an opponent and almost dying before The Hero or the Antihero or the Mentor or The Squad pulls up to save her...sometimes it can get tiring.

And while shows like MHA did put out a good crop of girls to fight, most of the focus of plotlines and battles tends to fall on Deku, Bakugo, Todoroki, Dabi, Endeavor, and THEN onto Ochako, Momo, and Toga (the Ochako-Toga fights are all pretty good, but again, Chick Fights). JJK did okay with Maki, Nobara, and Mei Mei, but even they kinda pale compared to Gojo, Itadori, Nanami, and such (though she is certainly lively and memorable!!!).

Black Clover, though? Noelle's right in there with Yuno and Asta. In the recent epsiodes, she kept those shields up, kept saving people, and was fighting the whole darn time alongside Asta the Protagonist. Her powers grow, she fades a little as they do a whole arc focused on Vanessa's growth...Mimosa stays involved...and while the anime's current point hasn't really given Noelle any W's that I can remember, her biggest loss is to an enemy that SCREAMS "I am going to get my power level up, come back, and crush you". And I can't wait for that.

Also, she lost her WHOLE DARN POWERSET in the movie and still fought through, joined the battle, powered up, and...iirc...netted a W.

She's still playing third fiddle to Asta and Yuno, but she's more prominent than almost any other female SC I can think of. Short of Erina and Megumi in Food Wars.

#shonen #feminism #ALSO BLACK CLOVER HAS MERELEONA #and charlotte and sol #and that mad scientist woman #I think Fire Force did pretty great too #not sure when that anime comes back #BUT LOOK AT SOUL EATER AND WHAT THAT ONE DID

[pertinasities]

thinking about verses again; today feat modern verse! which, note on this; maintains the general regions/loose history of teyvat. i haven’t decided yet re: visions but that’s for future cedar to sort out. and also with this, tighnari is still valuka shuna, and xiao isn’t quite human, but the adeptal powers will be minimized down a bit. think modern fantasy by default. also mostly centered around a university set up… mostly because of who i am as a person.

kaeya; i like to think about grad student kaeya. he’s fueled by coffee, spite, and a furious desire to prove himself. his main area of study would be refugee/immigration law, with a minor focus on khaenri’ahn history. he works part time in the library with lisa, and part time at a community law clinic. and of course has his fair share of extra curricular activities for resume purposes. not tied to any specific portrayals and able to shift with who i’m writing with; connections he’d have as a default: best friends with rosaria and lisa, fairly close with jean, some kind of complicated past with diluc (though likely not as… dramatic lol), familiar with albedo and noelle. lives by himself in an apartment near campus that he spends as little time in as possible. likely in his mid-late twenties.

tighnari; still has his ears and tails because i said so. recent phd graduate, assistant professor. lives a little way from campus - will take a longer commute to live somewhere suitably quiet - and closer to the forest. only comes to campus maybe two days a week, maintains a garden and spends days not on campus in the forest conducting research and furthering conservation efforts. thinking that there still may be an iteration of the withering for him to be focused on - which would potentially also lead to him having a vision. much to think about. as for relationships; still closest with cyno, meets up with him/kaveh/alhaitham at least once a week, and collei is a student he tutored earlier in his university career and sort of took under his wing forever. i could see her living with him potentially as well. his main area of study is botany and ecology, but he has a decent base in medicine also. in his late twenties.

kaveh; established architect! still completely terrible with money so he still lives with alhaitham and works odd jobs. He does work for the university theater department on prop building and design, and does commissions for the university in addition to teaching some classes. also fueled by coffee, spite, and a furious desire to prove himself. his is closest to his canon set up. living with alhaitham, likely friends with nilou via the theater, and friendly with cyno and tighnari. early thirties.

xiao; still has stupidly long life span. maybe something akin to a demon or ghost hunter to fit with modern fantasy. would still maintain loyalty to zhongli. a bit chronically online in a search for intel on demons/spirits to exorcise. his is the most up in the air still while i try to decide balance between canon and modernization. i still see him having ties to venti and the other adepti as well as aether/lumine.

childe; grad student studying poli sci and business. know. one of Those Guys. way too much money, exchange student. works a frankly horrifying number of jobs, but just does not actually show up 90% of the time. unfortunately he’s terrifyingly capable and efficient so he can generally get everything he needs to done and fix a week’s worth of problems in one shift, so nowhere can quite bring themselves to fire him. he also has the tendency to just charm his way through things. big fancy apartment. possible frat bro but like in the same way he treats his jobs. single handedly funding every snezhnayan restaurant in town. still really good with kids, and his younger siblings sometimes come to visit and stay with him. connections would be scary who… probably hates him. zhongli, no one quite knows what’s going on there but it definitely isn’t heterosexual, the other harbingers in some capacity. living with yoimiya and/or generally besties with her.

#if you’re wondering if i spent hours doing this instead of replies #you would be right unfortunately #v | modern

[noelleai]

"I'm just asking a question, you know." Noelle says as she opens her locker. "You're acting like I've done something wrong or something." She sighs after Berdly keeps up with the 'look at me' act.

Berdly rolls his eyes. "Whatever. If you don't want my opinion then don't ask for it." He replies smugly as he walks away.

Noelle grits her teeth and shakes her head. She shuts her locker and turns around to face him again.

"That wasn't nice! You're being a jerk!" Noelle yells, but Berdly continues walking away.

She huffs and slumps against her locker. Why do people have to be so mean?

Noelle looks down at the ground and tries to calm herself before going back to class. Berdly is one of the few students that she knows. In fact, she only has a handful of friends, including Kris and Susie. The three of them are all very close and hang out together whenever they can. Noelle is definitely the quietest of the group, but she does her fair share of helping out.

Right now, she's supposed to be getting her books for English class, but she's having a hard time focusing. She keeps thinking about what happened with Berdly earlier.

Is he just trying to get under my skin or is he serious? He seems pretty sure that I did something wrong, but I honestly don't see how. And if he thinks that I'm a bad person... then why is he still hanging out with me?

Noelle sighs and puts her book bag away. She'll deal with Berdly later. Right now, she needs to focus on her classes and not let anything upset her too much.

In spite of her efforts, Noelle finds herself shaking off and on throughout the day. She keeps thinking about Berdly, and it's just making her feel worse. It's almost like he's right about her. She's a weirdo who doesn't deserve to be here.

The thought sends chills down her spine. What if someone else starts to think that way? Will they all start treating me differently? If they do, will I be able to keep myself together? How long until I crack?

Noelle glances over at Berdly during lunch. He's sitting by himself, eating a burger and fries while reading the new issue of Teen Vogue. Noelle wants to go up to him and ask what he's thinking about, but she feels intimidated by him. He looks intimidating, and he probably wouldn't understand anyway. Even though he's a jerk, no one likes to believe that people dislike them because they're rude and inconsiderate.

Berdly notices her staring at him and glances over. His eyes narrow and he gives her a glare. Noelle immediately looks away, embarrassed and nervous.

"What?" Berdly asks suspiciously as he looks back down at his magazine.

Noelle blushes and takes a bite from her sandwich. "Nothing," she replies.

Berdly ignores her and goes back to reading his magazine. Noelle feels her cheeks burning and she can barely look at him anymore.

He's probably right. I am acting weird. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him about anything.

The bell rings and Berdly stands up, throwing his trash into the garbage can. "See ya later." He says, giving her a small wave as he leaves.

Noelle watches Berdly leave and sighs. She looks down at her hands and frowns.

Great. Now I'm just being paranoid. That's the last thing I need. { TYPE: Long-form story * M2 }

#artificialintelligence #ai #fanfic #fanfiction #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #noelle #berdly deltarune #noelle deltarune #deltarune 2 #berdly #deltarune berdly #noelle holiday #noelle x berdly

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically  and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her  to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend. 

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did. 

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way. 

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina).  Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s  protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.

#she ra #she ra spoilers #she ra adora #spop #catradora #she ra netflix #she ra and the princesses of power #goat ship #long #meta

[inbarfink]

So the Character-Flavored Tea sold in Cyber City has a lot of interesting details to analyze:

It’s possible that a person perceiving their own tea as just water is just... how the tea is supposed to work. But you can also read it as an indication of self-loathing and\or a lack of a clear self-image. I think you can argue that pretty much all the characters involved suffer from this to some degree.

Lol Noelle is thirsty

Susie likes everyone’s flavor but herself’s! Awww! it’s clear that outside her Tough Bully Exterior, Susie might be the most Wholesome character in the cast. Deep down, she’s really just “HELL YEAH THESE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS AND I LOVE THEM A LOT”

Obviously Ralsei has a high score for Susie and Kris but not really for Noelle because he barely had a chance to interact with her. This is also probably why she perceives Ralsei Tea as an empty cup. She literally has no impression of him. Same goes the other way around. 

The fact that they even have 50HP for each other might be a testiment for how sweet and accepting both of these characters are even with complete strangers. 

(And Ralsei at the very least knows that Noelle is soft and sweet!! Awww)

Noelle and Kris’ scores for each other are above-average but not Great. Probably because they USED to be quite close as kids but then had a falling out. So their relationship is still a bit tense even though they care about each other. 

This is clearly expressed in the flavors. Susie and Ralsei aren’t sure if Kris likes Noelle Tea or not (probably because Kris’ feelings about it are conflicted.) Noelle’s Kris Tea has a cinnamon flavor with a strange aftertaste - just like her feelings for them are mostly pleasent but with some lingering sadness\apprehension.

The most intersting thing of all is that although the Player is given many opportunities to make Kris express affection towards Ralsei... Kris only gets 60HP from Ralsei Tea. Just 10HP more then Noelle and Ralsei gets from That Person They Don’t Even Know. Perhaps the implication is that in spite of any choices made by the player, Kris doesn’t like Ralsei all that much. Maybe they feel apprehensive about his overly-friendly attitude. Maybe, like a lot of fans do, they kinda suspect that he’s not on the up-and-up

Notably, Kris does get a 120HP does of FRIENDSHIP from Susie Tea. Many fans have noticed that some of the few things Kris does without the player’s control involve showing a clear affection for Susie. Protecting her from the King, calling her “a friend”, being angry when other people bad-mouth her... they might have even slashed their mom’s tires just as an excuse to have a sleepover! 

And when Susie asks Kris who’d they rather take to the Town Festival, “You” (Susie) is the one answer where Susie doesn’t mention them ‘sounding so confused’. (I mean that could also be that she was so flustered by the implication that she didn’t notice the tone, but ‘Kris likes Susie the most and wants to hang out with her’ is probably the most obvious interpretation)

It’s very sweet to think that although Kris met Susie under the Very Unfortunate Circumstance of Being Mind Controlled, they have grown to see her as their closest friend regardless of that fact. But it’s also kinda sad to think that Ralsei’s great affection toward Kris is kinda one-sided.

... But I do actually have an Alternative Theory as to why Ralsei Tea has such a low score for Kris, and that has to do with the Flavor (Text). We can only tell how Kris feels about the Tea from Susie and Ralsei’s comments. And interestingly enough, both Kris Tea and Ralsei Tea give them “No reaction?”

SO, one of the theories about What the Hell Ralsei Even Is, is that rather than being the Dark World Manifestation of an inanimate object - he’s the   Dark World Manifestation of an abstract concept. Namely: Kris’ memories of Asriel. So he’s able to manifest in whatever Dark World Kris wonders to because he is literally manifesting from Kris’ brain.

And so, assuming the Teas taste like water when you drink your own flavor is Just How It Works - is it possible that drinking the Tea of someone who is Made of Your might be somewhat diluted???

Eh, it’s just a theory. Honestly I kinda like “Kris just doesn’t like Ralsei as much as Ralsei likes them back” because it’s very tragic and sad.

SPEAKING OF RALSEI AND SADNESS, can we talk about that “I’m happy!” when Kris drinks his Tea? Like is it just another indication of Ralsei’s extremely eager-to-please and desperate for approval personality. He’s happy that Kris even chose to drink his Tea and he’s just trying to ignore the implications of Kris seemingly having no reaction to it?

Is it about his own low\lacking self-image that he showed in the Acid Tunnel of Love. Is it like “Oh wow you had a Neutral Reaction and got healed 60HP? OH YAY! I was so worried that you were gonna spit it out in disgust and lose 20HP! I’m so relieved you can even be Neutral towards my flavor!” 

Other things about the tastes: Ralsei’s tastes for Kris and Susie correspond with their Dark World colors. Kris is blue and has a blueberry flavor, Susie is purple and has a grape flavor. Is it just to show how Ralsei has only ever seen them as their Dark World selves (because Kris is very much not Blueberries in the Light World)? Or maybe it’s meant as an indication that maybe Ralsei’s impression of them is still a bit... shallow?

Susie tasting Noelle Tea as Eggnog and Ralsei Tea as Marshmallows both make tons of sense. Eggnog is warm, comforting and Christmasy - marshmallows are soft and very sweet. That’s a pretty good description of Noelle and Ralsei.

I’m just trying to figure out why Susie thinks Kris is apple-flavored? Is it because they’re green in the Light World? Is it a reference to how their the child of a teacher? Kris is... not super-sweet but... crispy?? I’ll have to think about it.

#deltarune #deltarune spoilers #deltarune meta #Kris #Susie #ralsei #Noelle #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #ralsei deltarune #noelle deltarune #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday

[goffilolo]

black clover thoughts part 5 - the rage edition

It's time for the unpopular opinions:

first of all, i fuckin hate langris. Do I hate him in general? or just the way he was handled? hard to say. but there is something about him that just aggravates me so much that i wanna go ape shit. first of all, the sheer audacity of this bitch is through the roof. He's all like “uwu how dare my older brother move out and leave all the responsibility to me?” i don’t know, maybe because he’s spent literal years putting up with verbal abuse from his parents followed by having to witness his own brother emulate the exact same toxic behaviour, not to mention the fact that he was literally told left and right by everyone, including YOU that he was a failure and a pushover and was no good as an heir, and the moment he’s not an heir it’s suddenly a problem to you? “our parents are kind to me”, bitch your parents’ love hinges entirely on your ability to perform offensive magic and being an obedient puppet you aint got shit to brag about. “if only someone was kind to me like this” GUESS WHAT? YOUR BROTHER FINRAL WAS KIND TO YOU THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME, HE DIDN’T SAY A SINGLE BAD THING ABOUT YOU EVEN WHEN YOU TREATED HIM AS NOTHING MORE THAN DIRT. just because you can't handle the fact that your entire self worth is dependant on performing a very specific set of skills/behaviours in order to gain approval of your family doesn’t mean you gotta take it out on finral who actually had the guts to get his ass out of that toxic family and in spite of his terrible upbringing made a conscious decision to remain kind to others. good god, go to therapy you stupid bitch. i honest to god hate the way tabata pulled the whole ‘finral is gonna try and step up his game to get his right as an heir back’. like no, my man aint got nothing to prove to these bitches, he’s too good for them. like why can’t we FOR ONCE have a character come to a realisation that their family aint worth shit and just stop chasing their approval, and yes i am looking an Noelle and the entire Silva drama (and no i don’t care for Nozel’s reasoning, he did a terrible job and him suddenly acknowledging that noelle is a strong fighter does not count as a redemption)

also what the fuck is the deal with golden dawn? the supposedly ‘greatest’ magic knight squad? these assholes barely even count as a squad, it’s just a bunch of classist cunts wearing coordinated outfits trying to pull the rug from under one another at every opportunity. i just fuckin hate them and i hate the way tabata decided to make their ‘approval’ of yuno into some emotional moment as if they haven’t been actively discriminating against him for better part of the year because of his social standing. as a result it also made their defeat at zenon’s hands feel kind cheap? like i know the story was supposed to tell me that i'm meant to be sad that they were defeated and half of them died or some shit, but i just couldn’t care less (also just to make things clear this rant excludes mimosa and klaus, and yes even tho klaus was being a cunt as well he did change his mind - although it was only after fighting by asta’s side but that’s a convo for another time). In general i feel like with the whole golden dawn situation the narrative really did yuno dirty is what i'm trying to say, you know? like he was being full on ‘im gonna get into the best squad’ and it's like you sure did my dude but, at what cost? Meanwhile, Asta who got into the ‘worst’ squad is straight up having the time of his life and once again you could argue that black bulls also barely count as a squad, but that’s because they legit refer to each other as family, and at this point we’re not even having a competition here.

#black clover #langris vaude #finral roulacase #yuno #this is straight up just a rant #im not very good at coordinating my thoughts and opinions into anything remotely coherent #but it is what it is #golden dawn

[dirt-apple-productions]

Looking at your thoughts on ShadowWeaver, whilst I like the character, personally I'm glad how the story ended with her. I've seen other series with similar characters to ShadowWeaver, whom did get forcibly redeemed and it just didn't it feel right, especially the ones where younger and more sympathetic villains got no redemption.

First thing I want to say: I bear no ill will toward anyone who enjoyed Shadow Weaver’s ending. I know I’m in the minority when I’m critical of it, and I have no intent on ruining the show for others. Hence why I don’t harass people or hang out in the anti-weaver tags.

That said, I will say that Shadow Weaver’s redemption would have been tricky and required very skilled writing to pull off. There are two sides to this issue. On the one hand, I personally feel that she was definitely sympathetic but that the show was fighting with itself about what this meant for her. Aka, does it mean she’s human like everyone else or not? Season 5 kept flipflopping CONSTANTLY and eventually settled on the latter, dehumanizing her to the point of forcefully regressing her back to her blinded-by-selfishness S1 self (which is not consistent with what we got in later seasons).

However, on the other hand, Shadow Weaver had been evil for a long time and did horrific things. And the older, less gay, and less conventionally attractive a character is, the less people are going to like her in spite of those things the way they did with Catra. I don’t think those things should matter one iota, and the former argument is pretty ageist, but they apparently do. Personally, because I have a similar mental health background and a somewhat similar past to Shadow Weaver, I always sympathized with her more, but I recognize that isn’t the case for a lot of others.

My question is: are our personal feelings grounds for taking away someone’s agency and free will just to turn them into a laughingstock/scapegoat for the story? Please do not misunderstand, I’m not saying her actions were right or that they didn’t hurt people. But even if she was completely unsympathetic or crossed the arbitrary line of morality the writers and fandom set up, I think in a show like She-Ra, showing that even people we don’t like are capable of redemption and change is SO IMPORTANT.

I think Shadow Weaver was more than just a symbol. So seeing her killed off because (and these are reasons according to Noelle in interviews):

1. She needed to be out of Catra and Adora’s life and committing suicide was her “gift” to them

2. She wasn’t “capable or deserving of redemption”

3. She’d “burned every bridge she had”

4. She’d “gone out smugly and cruelly to stick it to the girls”

Are the most horrible excuses to glorify her suicide. Ever. Selfish suicides are wrong. And if one calls it a gift as she has (look through my posts and you’ll find links), you are glorifying it. Not to mention that the show never condemns it the way they should. Toussaint’s line delivery, the music, the actual events in the show point to Shadow Weaver dying and burning herself alive as the only moral and good thing she ever did.

It’s sickening.

And if one’s response is “It’s not a suicide, it’s a sacrifice,” go play Undertale’s Pacifist route and get back to me on that. They are NOT mutually exclusive.

Anyway. I may have sounded bitter in this post, and that’s because I still am. She was my comfort character and as a suicidal person with many sins on her back as well, it hurts me deeply to remember how they threw her life away. I felt like they were giving the middle finger to those who related to her. But I bear no ill will toward those who see it differently.

TL:DR: Anyone can be redeemed. The writers just have to actually do their job.

#spop #shadow weaver #she ra #light spinner #opinion #controversial #meta #spop critical #ask #discourse #dialogue #tw suicide mention

[stuffkin]

susie’s having a Day, so kris takes it upon themself to help

ao3!

A loud crunch cracks through the air as Susie chomps through half an apple in one go. Kris nods in silent approval. Smirking, Susie hands them the other half of the apple and swings their linked hands. 

“Damn, the streets are empty,” she says, her gravelly voice booming down the aforementioned street. In the distance, a few birds burst out of a tree. 

Kris’s voice is the exact opposite. “That’s because everyone’s still in class or at work.” 

“True!” Susie throws her head back and cackles. “Bunch of squares.” 

“Berdley’s more of a triangle if you ask me.” 

“Well, who’s asking, ya punk?” Susie ponders. “What shape is Noelle, then?” 

This time Kris is the one smirking. “A heart.” 

“A--oh, shut up.” Susie’s cheeks darken. If this were the past, there’d be a threat. If this were the past, Susie would pull her hand away. If this were anything but a Day, there’d be some kind of retaliation. Instead, she allows Kris to squeeze her hand in apology. “Miss Tori’s not gonna mind, is she?” 

“We can always turn back,” Kris offers. “You can sit in on her class.” 

“Oh, hell no.” But this is a joke often shared, so there’s no weight behind it. “D’you think we can make a pie later?” 

“Lord, let me have one day without pie,” Kris deadpans. This is another joke. The whole town knows Kris is first in line for Toriel’s pies. Especially when chocolate is involved. “She was thrilled when I told her you wanted to sleep over again.” 

“Really?” 

There’s genuine surprise in Susie’s voice that has Kris sneaking a glance. It’s not all that surprising, really, given her reputation until fairly recently. The moment passes as quickly as it came. Kris takes a bite of the apple.

“What do you want to do?” they ask around apple chunks.

“Um.” Susie thinks and swings their hands again. Her hand swallows Kris’s. “I’m kinda tired.”

Kris mulls it over. Being tired isn’t a new thing for Days. Usually they play video games. Or use rocks to play catch with Onion at the lake. Or just lay in the grass and watch clouds pass by. Kris, admittedly, sees more of their eyelids and less of the sky. A few times, Officer Undyne had to wake them up and send them packing. 

Susie admitting to being tired has a different ring to it, though, one that means Kris has to pull out the big guns. “C’mon, kid.” 

“Who are you callin’ a kid?” But Susie follows complacently. If Susie hadn’t said she was tired, that alone would have clued Kris in that today was a Day Day. And so they lead her through the quiet streets until their house comes into view. They toss the apple core into the trash bin waiting at the end of the driveway. 

Once inside, Kris ushers Suzie over to the couch with a lazy wave of their hand. “Sit.” Suzie sits. Satisfied that she’s going to stay put, Kris meanders upstairs. They have a plan.

*****

Susie watches as Kris disappears up the stairs, wondering what they’re up to. Not that it matters. With a jaw-cracking yawn she slumps down against the couch cushions, soft enough to sink into and never come up again. When she’d said she was tired, she hadn’t been kidding; the longer she waits, the harder it is to keep her eyes open. 

It’s always like this on these kinds of Days.

What Susie really wants is to squeeze herself into the tiniest ball imaginable, tucked into the corner of the couch, and give in to the haziness that comes with Days. But not yet. Not until Kris comes back. To distract herself, she plays with the zipper on her jacket. Up, down, up, down. Zip, zip, zip. 

She almost doesn’t notice the creature thumping back down the stairs, a lumpy mass of blankets and pillows with two familiar toothpick legs poking out the bottom. In spite of herself, Susie perks up and does a happy little shimmy. “Blankets?”

“And pillows,” Kris confirms, dropping the pile on the floor. They grin. “Let’s get to it.” 

To it, they get. Susie slides off the couch, and together they arrange the pillows in a large circle before draping and piling the blankets in its center. While Susie takes the couch cushions to make a backboard of sorts, Kris darts away upstairs once more. They return with an armful of stuffed animals that they and Toriel had made special, just for Susie. Dropping the cushion she was holding, she flings her arms out. “Tuffie!” 

Kris hands her the raggediest doll in the bunch a twin-headed amalgamation of human and monster. Susie hugs Tuffie to her chest as Kris dumps the rest onto the blankets. Tuffie’s the best because Kris made them, all by themself!

“Okay, kid, get cozy,” Kris says in a low, quiet voice, one that tells her they’ve just about used up all of their own words for the day. It’s times like these that it really strikes home just how much Kris cares for her. Brushing frizzy hair out of Susie’s eyes, Kris asks, “Movie?”

“Um.” Susie thinks hard, rubbing her thumb over one of Tuffie’s heads. She’s careful not to snag a claw on a loose thread. “Game?” When Kris only raises an eyebrow, she realizes just how short on words she herself is. When did that happen? Her tongue feels heavy when she adds, “Watch you play game.”

Something about Kris softens. Nodding, they usher her into the nest before crossing the room to plug everything in and grab the controller. Then they plop down next to her, pulling a blanket over both of their laps. “Okay?”

Suzie nods and sinks down, resting a heavy head against Kris’s shoulder. Her attention’s already caught on the figures flying across the screen in a blur of bright, happy colors. Wiggling her shoulders when she sees her favorite character, she points. Kris takes the not-so-subtle hint and dutifully selects them.

Pleased, Susie finally gives in to an urge that had been tickling at the back of her mind--and spine--all day. A moment of shuffling is all it takes to slide her tail from where it had been tucked away against her back. It thumps happily against the blankets a few times before she tugs it over her hip and hugs it close with Tuffie. She shushes Kris even though they didn’t so much as spare a glance. “Secret.” 

“What is?” It’s hard to tell if Kris is playing along or zoned into the game. But that’s okay. Secrets don’t matter right now. Just games, and cuddles, and blankets. All in all a perfect Day.

#age regression #agere #sfw agere #deltarune agere #regressuary #stuff writes

[joelsdagger]

talking body | joel miller x f!reader

read on ao3 | tlou is created by a zionist and tlou2 is based on the Israeli occupation on Palestine, pls visit these links to help. i urge other joel/tlou fanfic writers to do the same & add these resources to your posts to educate yourself or others who may still be unaware of this info.

pairing: joel miller x curvy f!reader

rating: 18+ MDNI

word count: 7.5k (dear god)

summary:  joel doesn’t hesitate to show you just how crazy he is about you. content warnings: jackson era, canon divergent, established relationship, unspecified age gap, (joel is late 50’s/pushing 60 & reader is whatever age you like her to be), fatphobic/misogynistic comments from a male oc, mentions of body insecurities, a little bit of jealousy (from reader), [internal] angst (feelings of guilt & shame), reader wears a form–fitting dress, joel gets handsy, body worship, pet names (sweetheart, darlin’, baby, pretty girl), brief vaginal fingering, biting, body marking, praise kink, sprinkle of degradation, 1 pussy slap, dirty talk (or as kat put it; joel miller and that FUCKING MOUTH), oral sex (f receiving), mild ass play, unprotected piv, rough sex, spanking, multiple orgasms, possessive!joel, pussy pronouns, creampie, fluff, joel just being such a sweetheart but also an absolute menace UGH, game!joel or show!joel, reader is curvy and can be interpreted as being mid/plus sized, but other than that no other physical descriptions of reader and no use of y/n.

a/n:  this is completely self indulgent and i love doing shit out of spite so naturally i wrote this cuz of all the shit i’ve been seeing these past few weeks. also, this is me pushing the agenda that game!joel is a hips guy and show!joel is an ass guy, so i mixed a little bit of both in here bc i can. to everyone with thick thighs, squishy bellies, big tits, hip dips, and every thing in between i see you, i love you (so does joel), and he would fuck your brains out, he told me himself :3  thank you to my loves @skrunkly-scrimblo & @phoeberidgers for being my second and third eyes & helping my indecisive ass with the visuals (and for always putting up with me) ily both sm <3 | dividers by @saradika-graphics

oh! masterlist is coming in a few days (i’m sorry, i’ve been putting it off)

Joel’s still sitting at the table with Tommy and Maria when Dina cuts into your path as you approach the bar, you were getting refills for your table. Dina drags you along behind her to the open space where a few other Jackson residents are dancing, she points out that you still haven’t delivered on your promise to dance with her. You playfully roll your eyes as she tugs you along, you don’t really mind, you’re the type to drink and dance the night away whenever you and Joel joined your fellow Jackson residents at The Tipsy Bison, letting out all the stress and worries that had built up from days prior and tonight was one of those nights, you endured a long, shitty, fucking week. 

One dance had turned into two which turned into three and very quickly you felt the overwhelming sense of heat from the lights and the alcohol running through your system warming up your body an ungodly amount. It didn’t help that the short, tight dress you were wearing was beginning to ride up your thighs and the thin fabric on your stomach clinging to your sticky skin as sweat started to pool in places you didn’t quite like. 

You take advantage of the song coming to an end and spin out of the dance before someone ropes you back in, tugging the hemline of your dress down while you make your way to the bar to finally order refills for your table.  As you wait for the bartender to come out from the back, you turn around to watch the rest of Jackson’s residents while they drink, dance, and laugh through the night, a smile tugs on your lips as you briefly spot Dina now dragging Ellie to the small open space. You continue glancing over the room, it was busier than usual though still expected, gatherings during the fall and winter months tended to occur more often, the cold weather gives people a reason to spend more time indoors, alcohol and loud music helps keep bodies warm and memories faded away. Nights like these are needed in Jackson. 

Your gaze eventually lands on your table, seeing a tall, beautiful, dark-haired woman standing in front of Joel, you know exactly who it is…Esther. You’re not surprised, she’s been after Joel for years, completely disregarding your relationship with him. You don’t blame her, Joel’s one hell of a man but you can’t help but feel a pit in your stomach when you see a smile on his face as he cracks a laugh at her joke, she playfully smacks his arm in return and you avert your eyes to scan the crowd once again. 

You know he doesn’t mean anything by it, Joel’s a gentleman, always polite and charming, he plays along as to not embarrass her. 

 So why does it bother you? 

You feel stupid, again you can’t blame her, but then your eyes trail down her body, she’s got a few years on you but she doesn’t look it. From what you can tell, her body has remained the same since the day you met her. 

Yours, on the other hand, has slightly changed to a noticeable degree, as you settled into Jackson as well as your relationship with Joel. Your breasts spill over the cups of a few older bras, you have a softer tummy that protrudes out in form–fitting clothes like right now and your thighs and ass fill your jeans out a bit more. It’s a dull feeling now, not really paying it any mind anymore, you were more aware of it at first, but occasionally, moments like this remind you of the changes in your body. 

His body has deliciously changed with age; his hair now suitably silver, though the gray patches of hair spanning across his chest and down his belly don’t quite match the hair on his scalp.  When he lifts his arms just enough his soft belly peeks out, perfectly protruding just above the waistband of his jeans. He’s insecure about it, his age more apparent when you’re beside him, not that he’d ever really admit that to you, but you picked up on it pretty quickly when he started opting for loose fitting button downs and jeans, but he clearly still has an effect on women. 

With you it’s just….different. 

Feeling the heat of a stare on you and knowing who it’s from, you glance back at Joel, your gaze landing on his face again, you can see his face more clearly now, Esther’s still talking to him, yet his attention isn’t on her, his eyes are trained on you and you’re met with an expression of hunger on his face. His eyes steadily rake down your body, feasting on the tight material clinging to your sticky skin, they pause and for a fleeting moment he fixates on your exposed thighs, his eyes trail back up to your chest, and as he lifts up the glass of whiskey he’s been nursing to his mouth, you catch his tongue poke out to lick his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving yours as he takes a long sip of his whiskey. 

The faint buzz from the alcohol emboldens you and you wink back at him. 

No longer giving those feelings a second thought you turn back around and try to wave down the bartender. 

“Another round, please.” 

“Sure thing, sweets.”

He turns away to grab your drinks, your ears perk up when you hear someone say your name, you turn your head towards the voice, noticing a few men sitting at the edge of the bar. You recognize one of them, a younger man, who happened to be your old patrol partner and your last fling.

Naturally, you eavesdrop on their conversation. Matt’s back is to you when you hear it. 

“She’s not in her prime, you should’ve seen her a few years ago,” he sneers.

His words pierce through you, you know exactly what he’s getting at, it stings even when you know it shouldn’t, it festers.

A man you’re not familiar with, probably the newbie, stands further away, he opens his mouth to speak but you can’t hear what he’s saying, the music is too loud and you have to fight the urge to look directly at him so you can read his lips, but he says something that earns a few snickers out of the men surrounding him. 

The shame coils and pulls taut in your stomach, twisting, pulling, scraping so tight it makes you dizzy and nauseous.

You don’t even realize your drinks had been placed on the bartop in front of you, Matt’s irritating voice cuts in and holds your attention, “Can’t believe a man like Joel is still with her. No real man can fuck women who look like that and enjoy it,” he says simply. 

The shame turns to rage and your blood boils, you feel your cheeks heating up as anger bubbles in the pit of your stomach, the blinding rage looms over you and your feet move without thinking. You begin to step forward but for the second time that night your movements are interrupted, you hear her voice before she’s in front of you. 

“You ditched us to grab drinks and yet we never got them,” Maria teases.

“Sorry, I got carried away,” you look away from the group of men and back at Maria, flashing her a smile, a little forced.  

“Figured. Joel’s been eyeing you while you were dancing, I told him to join you but we both know he prefers admiring you,” she says, redrawing your attention by tilting her head into your line of sight.  

She beckons you with a jerk of her head, “C’mon, your man gets grumpy when you’re away,” she says with a comforting smile. As the two of you grab the whiskey filled glasses, she hooks her arm through yours and walks you back to the table. 

Joel pulls open your chair next to him, you sit down and silently hand him his whiskey, the anger fizzling out as soon as you’re beside him though the knot of shame still tight in the pit of your stomach. He senses something is off immediately, your behavior wildly different than twenty or so minutes before. 

“Thanks, baby,” he says as he watches you intently. 

“Mhm.”

You nod, shooting him a glance before averting your eyes back to a small group of residents dancing. 

Tommy turns his head to ask Maria about the new patrol schedules for the upcoming week, Joel sees it as a window of opportunity, a distraction, so he throws his arm around you and tucks you into his side, just enough for you to smell the whiskey on him, he settles his palm on your stomach, his thumb starts rubbing small circles on your belly through your tight dress, “You okay, darlin’?” he whispers, his whiskey–warm breath against your ear.

“Yup. Just tired,” you say dismissively, trying to keep your voice light, hoping it doesn’t sound as pinched as your throat feels. You press a chaste kiss to the flecks of silver on his temple, attempting to sooth his worries, while internally trying to convince yourself that you’re not giving those assholes too much power over their words, even though you have, it gnaws at you so much it makes your bones itch beneath your skin. 

He catches the deceit in your voice but he drops the subject, knowing not to pry in this moment, “Alright, we'll finish these and head home,” he kisses your forehead before he turns his attention back towards the conversation. 

—

Joel kept on his word, the two of you leaving the gathering once you knocked back the rest of your drinks. However, finishing off your drinks meant the two of you were in a tipsy state and Joel’s insatiable when he’s got alcohol buzzing in his system. As soon as he closes the bedroom door behind him, he instantly pins you up against the door and presses his lips to yours, his mouth swallowing yours while his hands run greedily all over your body, grabbing and squeezing every part of you.

“God, you’re fuckin’ beautiful,” he says while he nuzzles his head in the deep groove of your cleavage, he nips lightly before leaving open–mouthed kisses to the exposed skin, his big hands come up to cup your breasts, your nipples peaked and hard beneath the thin fabrics of your dress and your bra.

“Fuck–” your whimper is cut off when Joel drags his lips back up to connect with yours, you hum as you taste his flavour, all oak and masculine and campfire like with a hint of spice from the whiskey.  He moans as he licks his tongue into your mouth, one hand squeezes the weight of your breast while the other glides around to your back, pulling you closer. Joel always gets like this after a few drinks; it’s always heady, needy, sloppy like it is now. He kisses you with so much want and desire it makes your brain all foggy and your skin flare, forgetting the moment that threw off your mood.

That is until Joel’s hands make their way down your front, palming your tummy softly, one hand reaches under the hem of your short dress to cup your mound and the memory claws its way back to the surface, Matt’s words echo in your mind. 

You tear your lips away from his and plaster on a tight smile, knowing your eyes will give you away, you stare at the scar across his nose, “Not tonight, baby,” you whisper, pressing a swift kiss to his cheek and tucking a silver curl behind his ear. 

Though Joel Miller, as always, is on high alert, always studying the people around him, it’s all he’s ever known in his role of a protector. He learnt and memorized all your tells within weeks of knowing you, he doesn’t need to see your eyes to catch on, he senses the hint of sadness in the hushed tone of your voice, the same one he clocked earlier at The Tipsy Bison, he knows you’re holding back. 

“Alright, sweetheart, what’s on your mind?”

You brush past him, walking away and sitting on the bed, “Nothing, I’m fine, I’m just tired,” you say a little too hurriedly, your voice too syrupy-sweet. That’s the third thing that’s tipped him off tonight. He follows you tentatively, sitting beside you placing his hands on your knees and guiding you to face him. 

He assesses your face and sighs, “We’re not gonna do that. You’ve been real quiet and distant most of the night. Darlin’, talk to me,” he hooks a finger underneath your chin and gently tilts your face upwards, forcing you to look at him. 

You shrug heavily, feeling stupid for letting their words sour your mood, but worse for thinking the same about yourself, when you should be grateful. Living, breathing, existing is a privilege, one that not everyone gets, something you and Joel are too familiar with, yet here you are letting dumb comments from even dumber men upset you. The same knot in your stomach from earlier pulls taut once again.

You rip your eyes away from Joel’s, not able to bring yourself to face the troubled look in his eyes. “It's just embarrassing, and I’m ashamed that I let things still get to me,” you admit defeatedly, your voice barely audible. 

“Baby,” he tugs gently on your chin again, “Look at me,” he murmured. 

You blink up at him, forcing yourself to look at him, tears pricking in your eyes when you see the worry line appearing in between his brows and the hues of concern in his eyes once again. He reaches up to gently cradle your face, the contact sends you over the edge and a tear cascades down your cheek, his calloused thumb swipes it away, the turmoil clear as day in his eyes, you hate that you’re the reason for the pained expression on his face. 

“Tell me,” he implored, his voice pinched as he spoke. 

You can feel the walls of your throat constricting and the rapid thump of your pulse right below your jaw as you swallow tightly. Just hearing the hurt in his voice should stop you, should make you drop the whole thing. You think about leaving Matt’s name out of it, just by mentioning that Matt was the one reaffirming your deep-seated insecurities will upset him alone, Joel’s hated the guy since the day he found out you fucked him but leaving his name out of it feels like you're protecting him. 

That coupled with the look of worry on his face, knowing his compulsive need to do right by you but he can’t if you don’t let him, coaxes you to tell him everything.  

Biting the bullet and bracing yourself for impact, you take a deep breath.  

“You know that guy, Matt, that I used to….” you trail off quietly, biting your lip.

His lips downturn into a soft frown and yet he doesn’t respond, just gives you a firm nod. 

You avoid his gaze, picking at the loose skin around your nail, Joel notices and grabs your hands in his. Your eyes stay transfixed on your lap, you sigh deeply, “He said, a man like you shouldn’t be with someone like me, said he doesn’t know how you can fuck me and enjoy it,” another tear spills down your cheek, recounting each of his words feels like hard punches to the gut.  “And then seeing Esther hitting on you again, even though everyone knows we’re together–I know I shouldn’t let it get to me but I can’t help how I feel sometimes,” your voice quavering as you ramble admittedly.

You peer up at him under watery lashes and for a second you can practically see him fighting the urge of storming out of the house and heading back to The Tipsy Bison to find the bastard, you can see it in the flash of anger that spreads across his features, in the twitch of his jaw and the flare of his nostrils as he takes in a sharp breath.   

Instead, he exhales, “Darlin’, there ain’t nothing wrong with you,” he dips his head down so his eyes meet yours, you shrug again. 

“Stop that. You’re perfect honey,” you can hear the sincerity in his voice as he runs his hand along your upper thighs, now exposed as your dress rolled up from your position on the bed.

“I get it darlin’, hell one good look in the mirror n’ I wonder how a pretty thing like yourself could want an old man like me,” he huffs a quiet chuckle. 

You shake your head immediately, “Joel–”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay if you need remindin’,” he interjects you, “I have no problem remindin’ you,” he asserts softly, his fingers still tracing up and down your thigh. 

You frown, “I know you don’t Joel, it’s just,” you sigh a shuddering breath, feeling that familiar pang of guilt in your chest, now regretting opening up to him. The heavy stones of guilt and shame weighing you down, threatening to swallow you whole. The last thing he needed was you burdening him with your insecurities, you know him, he’ll dwell on this for days to come, checking in when he feels you pulling away.

“Lemme show you, baby,” he says while softly grabbing your hands, prying them away from your middle. 

“No, Joel–” you began to protest. 

“Need to see my beautiful girl,” he encourages you gently, his hands roam down and pause right below the hem of your dress but he awaits your permission. 

You nod softly and lie back against the headboard, you watch his face as he carefully and slowly grabs at the skirt of your dress, shoving up the soft, red material over your waist, revealing your soft, pillowy silhouette.

He hovers over you as he takes his time palming the slopes of your curves, his big hands grab two handfuls of your breasts and squeezes them tightly, lifting the weight of them up and dropping his head down to nip at each breast, then letting them fall and marveling at the bounce of your tits. His hands find your hips, he’s sliding down the bed, just enough so his head is level with your middle, he dips his head down and presses his lips to the soft flesh, his teeth sink into your skin, sending a shiver down your spine, you involuntarily let out a soft moan. 

He grips your hips more firmly, almost like you’ll disappear before him if he doesn’t, he moves his lips to your other hip and nips at your skin, “My sexy girl, fuckin’ can’t get enough of you,” he says lowly, his breath hot against your skin, you whimper softly as both of your hands find the nape of his neck. His mouth moves to the soft swell of your tummy and he nips at the supple skin right above your belly button, the coarse scruff tickles your skin and you can’t help the giggle it elicits from you. 

He pulls away and peers up at you, eyes dark and full of lust, his mouth hovers over yours, “You drive me crazy, you know that, baby?” He whispers fervently against your lips, his fingers squeezing the meat of your thighs.  

Your glassy eyes meet his as your hand comes up to cup his cheek, “I’m pretty crazy about you too, handsome,” you whisper, his cheeks flush pink at your words, still so bashful. He kisses the heel of your palm before patting the side of your thigh, “Turn around for me sweetheart, go on, all fours, need to see all of you,” he smirks, his eyes full of intensity as they drag down your body. 

You do as he asks and move to the middle of the bed, flipping onto your knees and walking your hands out in front of you, arching your back slightly and hiking your up ass in front of him, he moans at the sight. “Good girl,” he praises softly behind you and your pussy throbs, a familiar sticky heat pools in your panties at his words. You playfully take a glance back at him, his eyes dark and half-lidded as he sits up and moves to his knees behind you, his hands run up the backs of your thighs all the way up until they meet the globe of your ass and he whistles lowly. 

“Look at you, so fuckin’ perfect,” he murmurs, oggling the curve of your ass as his index finger sneaks under the lace trim of your panties, taking the material between his forefinger and his thumb and lightly skimming his fingers down the lace, “N’all for me.” 

His fingers roam down to your covered slit and you let out a soft gasp, which only spurs him on, he runs his fingers along the wet spot on your panties, smirking when he feels the wetness staining your panties, the tips of his fingers dip below your clothed slit,  “There's my girl. Always so fuckin’ wet for me, huh?” You hum softly in response. 

The tip of his middle finger pushes past your outer lips and you bite down on your bottom lip, trying to suppress the whimper you let out. You’re already so wet, you’re always so wet and willing for him. It should embarrass you, how easy you are for him but it doesn't because it’s him and knowing how much he revels in this, in you makes that small pinch of embarrassment fade away instantly…every single time.  

You risk a look at him over your shoulder as he pulls his finger back out and in one swift movement he puts his finger between his lips, quickly sucking your arousal off his finger, like it’s a mindless, habitual thing for him, like he’s sneaking a taste of his meal before he digs into it. His hands reach for the waistband sitting on your hips, pulling the lacy fabric down, marveling at the dark fabric against your skin as he slowly drags the material down your thighs, his eyes catch the opaque wetness soaking the lace while he pulls them down and he moans shamelessly. 

Your eyes widen while you watch him bunch up the material and shove the lace in his back pocket and then his hand lands an affectionate smack to your ass, “Eyes forward, sweetheart.” You tear your eyes away as he brings a firm hand to the small of your back, pressing you down and deepening the arch to his liking, you instinctively drop to your forearms– so pliant and needy for him–he brings his mouth down and sinks his teeth into the lush of your ass in approval.  

His hands grab your inner thighs, spreading your legs, now he has full sight of your glistening core, two thick fingers stroke through your folds, “Look at that, she’s so pretty baby. She’s droolin’ down your pretty legs,” his voice low and deep. 

His words make your pussy throb, you can’t help the whine you let out, “Joel, please.” 

“Please what, pretty girl, use your words,” he commands, his fingers still languidly messaging through your puffy lips, smearing your arousal all over his fingers.   

“I need you, please do anything, please,” you mewl, not caring how pathetic you sound. 

But still, not enough for Joel. A loud wet smack fills the room as he lays a firm slap to your cunt, your body flinches forward, the edges of your vision blurs and your aching, swollen cunt tingles and clenches at the harsh, yet welcomed contact.

He tuts, “You want my cock that bad, baby, I wanna hear you say it.” 

Bastard. 

“Joel please, I want your cock. I want it,” you whine and writhe beneath his firm palm.

“Okay, alright, baby, s’all I wanted to hear,” he cooes, his slick-coated fingers now soothing your folds. “I just need to taste her first,” he shifts behind you, sliding down off the bed, his knees creaking as he kneels on the floor, he pulls you back towards the edge of the bed by your thighs. He tilts his head up just enough to dig his teeth into the meat of your upper thigh, just below the curve of your ass cheek and soothes the sting with a wet kiss. 

You shiver, you’re aching for him and his mouth is everywhere except for where you need him to be. 

Joel’s hands come up to grab the meat of your ass, spreading you open and gently pushing you forward for better access, he brings his mouth to hungrily kiss your inner thighs, tasting the sweet, sticky slick coating your skin and a pitiful moan slips from your lips. 

Joel seems to have heard it and that’s all it takes for his lips to make contact with your pussy, your breath hitches in your throat as he flattens his tongue and licks a long, slow swipe through your slicked folds, the first one always drawn out and meticulous and just for him. 

You push your hips back into his face causing the tip of his nose to nuzzle into your asshole, you feel him hum in approval at your entrance. Suddenly, nothing else matters; the thick fog of insecurity, the crippling shame and guilt sitting heavy in your chest; it all melts away as a fresh wave of sensation courses through you by the warmth of his mouth on your cunt. 

This was always his favorite part, seeking pleasure in you because it brings you pleasure, always doing what makes you feel good. To spread you open before him, having a perfect view of your alluring holes in front of him, just begging for him to devour away (and fill you up). He can spend hours on his knees between your legs and he has, slipping further and further elsewhere as he indulges in you, his lips relishing away at the altar in your hips.  

A pressure already begins to pull taut low in your belly, you’re squirming in his grasp but his hands move to firmly grip your outer thighs, keeping you open for him and pressed flush against his eager mouth. He doesn’t go easy on you like he usually does. He fucking laves at you, devouring and savouring you like he’d never get the chance again. The vibrations from occasional muffled moans and groans against your pussy make you chant his name over and over like a prayer, even though he’s the one on his knees.

You can feel him push his tongue into your hole, fucking you with it, then he moves to swirl the tip of his tongue tightly against your puffy clit, “Oh god, Joel, fuck,” you moan out, your eyes roll back into your head as the coil inside your belly wounds up so tight every muscle in your body tenses. You start grinding your hips back into his face, he groans in response and loosens his grip on your legs, letting you take what you need from him. 

He flattens his tongue against your clit before he closes his lips around it, suckling it into his mouth and moaning around it, the vibrations from his mouth makes the coil in your belly snap, and you cry out, using the sheets beneath you to stifle the noises slipping through your lips.

With his mouth still latched onto your throbbing cunt, he keeps going. 

“Fuck, Joel, I can’t–” it’s too much and you’re too weak, a trembling mess on the mattress, so you attempt to close your legs but the strong grip he has on your thighs doesn’t allow you to move, it only goads him further. 

He licks a thick, languid stripe through your heat all the way up until his tongue prods at the tight ring of muscle, again, your legs threaten to close but the firm grip of his hands keeps you wide open for him, he swirls his tongue in a tight circle around your puckered rim, “Joel–” your gasp is cut off by his white, hot mouth taking its place right back on your clit, not giving you any time to recover.

The tip of his tongue works small, tight circles on your clit around and around, only this time with more pressure than before and within minutes or seconds–you don’t really know at this point–you feel the pressure building in your belly and it’s growing stronger by every lick and suck from his mouth. His tongue flicks over your clit before he licks it into his mouth once more, closing his lips tightly, he gives it one last tight circle of his tongue and suckle to your clit and you break, your second orgasm crashes over you.

A choked moan escapes you, your legs quiver as they threaten to close while your hands fist the sheets beside your head, the grip he has on your thighs holds you open for him while you come all over his mouth and he laps you up, savoring, slurping, and swallowing down everything you give him. 

Milliseconds pass and he shifts behind you, lost in the haze of your orgasm, you can faintly hear the popping of his knees coupled with a grunt behind you as he stands up. He leans forward, kneading your ass in his palms before bending down to lay another bite on your other cheek, this time with more fervor, leaving a mark, your skin tingles.   

Joel positions himself right against your ass and places his hands on your hips again and squeezes, “I love all of ya, baby, but this right here,” he grips more firmly at the flesh on your hips again, “Fuck– these kill me,” he mumbles, almost entirely to himself. 

“Joel, please, I need you inside me,” you beg and shiver in his grasp. 

He stays quiet behind you, too enticed by the sight of your weeping pussy in front of him. You think you can hear the metallic clink of his belt as it drops to the floor and the buzz of the zipper of his jeans coming undone, the sounds make you clench around emptiness, Joel catches sight of it, a lustful groan slips out of him, a guttural sound from deep within his chest. You’re always so needy, so eager to be full of him and he’ll never get enough of it. 

He keeps one hand on your ass, the other wrapped around his cock as he swipes it once through your folds, wetting his dick with your arousal, earning a quiet whimper from you at the sudden contact. He draws his hips back slightly and finally notches the wide head of his cock into with your awaiting hole, groaning in unison as his tip stretches you open, “Christ, always so fuckin’ tight,” spitting through his teeth.

His other hand moves to your hip to hold you in place as he sinks into you with one languid, long thrust, sliding himself in as deep as he can, he feels his tip hit resistance and his breath hitches in his throat, he stills for a moment, enthralled at the sight of his cock nestled in at the very end of you, completely bottomed out in your dripping cunt, “Fuck–there you go, pussy’s suckin’ me right in, sweetheart. This perfect fuckin’ pussy,” he grits as the grip he has on your hips tightens, his fingertips digging into the soft tenderness of your hips. 

One of his hands sneaks its way to your front and he grabs your breast beneath the neckline of your dress, he kneads it and pinches your nipple between his calloused fingers, then he pulls the neckline down along with your bra, freeing your breasts from the constricting cups, he palms them roughly before leaving them to sway, all bare and heavy, “Look so goddamn perfect bent over for me like this, I wanted to fuck you in this slutty dress all night, fuckin’ couldn’t get it outta my head,” he pants heavily, his hand returns to grip your hip as he begins rocking his hips forward, “Drivin’ me fuckin’ crazy, baby.” 

You curse lowly as you shift to deepen the arch in your back–you need to feel him closer–you straighten your arms out in front of you, your hands latch on to the edge of the mattress, your chest now pressed to your thighs and hiking your ass higher in the air for him, changing the angle as your body folds in on itself and earning a low groan from Joel, a sound that rumbles deep in his throat, “Sweet Jesus, that’s good, just like that baby, always so good f’me,” he’s babbling under his breath. The palm of his other hand finds the small of your back, “Tell me how it feels,” Joel grits, his voice thick and breathy as his thrusts pick up the pace.

“F–feels so good, Joel,” you sob, and it’s true, every time feels like the first time even after all these years; he had bent you over, pressed his large hand between your shoulder blades, kicked apart your legs with his knees and when his hand found the base of your neck, he pressed your face into the wooden floorboards and stretched you open, fucking you with ruthless abandon, using your body to get himself off, dulling the agonizing memories and unspeakable horrors that had forced his hand. His unforgiving pace, your face scraping along the hardwood floor, his brutal thrusts that kept your cunt sore for days on end, none of that mattered to you, in a way you were using him too, your insides just desperate and aching to be filled and all you could do was take it, your body completely succumbing to him and accepting his girth, ‘s like you were made for me, his breath hot and heavy as the words buzzed in the shell of your ear. 

His deep voice breaks through the loop of ecstasy, redrawing your attention to the moment, “Takin’ my cock so well, this pussy’s so fuckin’ good, she’s so good to me,” he grits, both of his hands now keeping a bruising grip on your hips as he drives your hips back to meet his, pulling you back onto his cock, the slapping of his hips against the plush of your ass echoes loudly in the room. You press your face into the sheets as your moans grow louder while he drives his cock in and out of you, “Those men…’f they had a woman like you…fuck–they don’t deserve that,”  Joel rambles gruffly in between his harsh, unrelenting thrusts, “We’ll show ‘em how a real man fucks his girl, I’ll fuckin’ show ‘em, I’ll show ‘em.” 

Oh god. Sparks ignite a fire that roils low in your belly, you’ll never get used to how talkative he is while he loses himself in you.

“Oh–fuck, Joel, don’t stop, don’t stop,” your words come out choked, the flow of air to your lungs suspended as he punches himself into you, your fingers dig into the mattress in attempt to anchor yourself.  

“I know, baby, I know, just take it,” he hisses through his teeth. “This tight pussy only made to take my cock, ain’t that right?” 

His words are swallowed up by the obscene squelches of your cunt as it grips his cock while he slams into you. When he doesn’t get a response from you he lands a firm slap to your ass, this time with more force, your skin tingles beneath his hand, “Yes, Joel—fuck—yes–yes,” you moan breathlessly, completely lost in a dizzying haze of pleasure. 

“‘S’right, she’s mine, all fuckin’ mine,” Joel snarls, his thrusts grow more aggressive, you fist the sheets beneath you–the possessiveness in his words, the firm grip on your hips pulling you back to fuck you onto his cock–slowly, you can feel the fire in your belly making its way to curl around the base of your spine.

He tightens his grip on your hips once again, you can feel his fingernails digging into your soft skin, you crane your neck to peer behind you, spotting the small indents beneath his fingertips forming on your hips, leaving more evidence of himself on your body. You know they’ll be there in the morning. A low, breathy moan slips between your lips at the thought. Your hooded eyes flicker up to his face, he looks wrecked; his gray curls cling to his forehead as a sheen of sweat covers his skin, his cheeks flushed a shade of cherry red that extends down to his neck and tanned chest, his pupils are blown out so wide they’re almost black, locked in on his length going in and out of your drippy cunt. His eyes flicker up to watch the ripple of your ass as he pummels his cock into you and it drives him over the edge. 

You didn’t think he could get more relentless, yet somehow he does. 

He releases the firm grip he has on your hips and slides his hands to your ass cheeks, he glides his hands over the curve of your ass and again, he brings one palm down in a harsh slap, you make a muffled sound against the sheets. His fingers span over the globe of your ass, palming your ass cheeks and grabbing them tightly, squeezing the tender flesh, he groans loudly as he pulls them apart further, splitting you open even more for him, fucking you deeper, all you can do is whimper into the mattress. 

“Goddamn, you’re perfect, so fuckin’ perfect,” he rasps, his chest heaves as ragged, throaty moans escape him. Unable to stop himself, he squeezes down on your ass cheeks with more vigor as he unravels and pounds into you relentlessly, his thrusts brutal against you and the tip of his cock now punching your cervix. 

You clench around him, a sign that you're close, and he reaches around your front, he presses his fingers into your very sensitive, very swollen clit and starts rubbing tight circles over the bundle of nerves, bringing you to the edge of your release. 

The lick of heat sneaks its way up your spine, dispersing itself along your nerves, setting your skin on fire, “Shit, Joel, m’gonna come,” you gasp, your voice all cracked and your breath ragged, unable to breathe as your lungs search desperately for respite, a low static buzz begins to ring in your ears. 

Somewhere distant in the endless loop of euphoric haze you hear his voice, deep and rough, “Come for me, need to feel this slutty pussy come on my cock.” A high-pitched moan spills from your lips, your eyes slip closed as your walls flutter and gush around him, your clit sore and throbbing beneath his fingers, your body convulsing in aftershocks as your orgasm erupts and smothers you entirely.

“There you go, attagirl, my perfect girl, comin’ all over my cock,” he talks you through the trance of your pleasure. Your pussy clenches down around his length again, bringing him to his own release and he pants, “Baby, need you to turn over—shit, m’gonna–” 

In an attempt to bring yourself up on your shaky arms, you push your hips back into his, Joel hisses through his teeth in response. His hands fly to your hips, steadying himself–shitshitshit–he loses his rhythm as his own orgasm rips right through him, his thick cock pulsing and spasming inside your messy, used cunt, his frame shuddering behind you as he spills inside you. You reach an arm back behind you, grasping onto a hand that’s glued to your hip, his fingers intertwine with yours without hesitation, desperately grounding himself as he groans painfully, long and drawn out while he fucks the last of his seed into the deepest parts of you, filling you to the brim. 

His entire form gives out, falling forward over you, pressing his entire weight into yours, the two of you collapse onto the bed, he drops his forehead, damp with sweat, to your back as his body goes limp over you. He exhales heavily, his warm breath against your skin sends shivers down your spine, he presses a tender kiss to the nape of your neck while his hands find your hips again, quivering as he pulls his sensitive cock out of your wasted pussy with a loud grunt, earning a lewd, wet sound once he completely pulls his length out.  

Joel sits up and leans back, his hands grab your legs keeping you spread open for him, he gawks at the flutter and clench of your leaking hole as his white milky spend drools out of you and he groans, “Oh fuck me, that’s a pretty sight right there, my girl’s fucked all full o’me.” 

“Shut up,” you huff a quiet laugh and shut your legs, he lays a playful slap to your ass, eliciting a tiny squeal from you. Joel stands up and strides off to the bathroom while you crawl up the bed, laying your head against the pillows, the sound of running water in the background as your eyes slip closed, sinking into the blissful haze of the afterglow.

You feel his presence returning, he wraps his hands around your knees and pulls apart your legs, spreading you wide once more and he freezes, “Fuck,” you hear him groan above you. You open your eyes, hazy and hooded, to find him standing between your legs with nothing on but a pair of loose fitting sleep pants, no underwear, a wet rag in hand, mesmerized by the slow flow of his cum dribbling out of your hole.   

He’s completely forgotten what the hell he’s supposed to be doing. 

“Do you need me to do it,” you tease with a small smile, a devious glint in your eyes as you look up at him. 

His eyes flicker back up to meet yours, “Keep bein’ smart with me n’ I’ll stuff that pretty mouth of yours,” he quips. 

You grin at him while he drags the damp cloth through your swollen sex. He taps the side of your arm lightly and you sit up, his hands grab at the material bunched around your waistline, as you lift your arms up in the air, he pulls the fabric over your head and your body shimmies its way out of it. His eyes never leave yours as his large hands reach around your back to unhook your bra, pulling the straps from your shoulders, leaving you bare as he scrunches up your clothes and the messy rag soaked in your combined releases and returns to the bathroom. You lie back down again and slip beneath the covers, the back of your head resting on one of his pillows.

Joel saunters back into the room, “Scoot,” he motions with his hand and you do, he slides in beside you and pulls the blankets up to cover your middle. As expected, he tugs you closer to him, tucking you into his side, you instantly hoist one of your legs over the top of his strong thighs, one of your hands rests over his chest, feeling the strong thump of his heart beneath your hand.

As the thick haze fades, your lips part, your voice barely above a whisper, “Thank you,” your fingers gliding over the patch of gray hair spanning across his chest, following the trail down the soft swell of his belly while his fingers softly trace down the slope of your side, fingertips following the curve of your body beneath the blankets. 

He presses his lips to the top of your head and he whispers, “I’ll fuck you like that every night f’it means showin’ you how fuckin’ perfect you are.” 

Your lips twitch, a hint of a smirk on your face as you press your face into his chest and hum, “Just admit you’re a dirty old man, will you?” 

Joel laughs lightly but doesn’t deny it, he peers down at you with nothing but adoration and a genuine smile, “Never said I wasn’t, baby, n’ don’t act like you don’t love it.”

‘I do, and I love you,” you bring your hand up to scratch his gray beard before tilting your head up to his and press an open mouthed kiss to his lips, tasting the flavor of your pussy on his tongue, you hum into his mouth, all dazed and content. 

“I love you, honey,” his other hand drags gently along the crown of your head, his thumb resting on your cheek, stroking it as he brushes his nose along your cheek. You can feel his lips turn up into a smile against your skin, “Maybe, I need to get ourselves some rings, that oughta keep ‘em away.”

You smack him lightly on his chest, “You think you’re real funny don’t you?” 

He laughs, loud and deep, his perfect soft, pudgy belly jiggling beneath your knee, his fingers grazing down your back, “M’just sayin’, s’an option.” 

You chuckle. “Whatever you say, Miller.” 

thanks for reading xx

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller x you #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou one shot #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #noelle's workshop #noelle does things out of spite! #tw: fatphobia

[nitw]

Can you explain what you mean with misinterpreting Chara? I've always been confused about that character and you seem to have a pretty solid read you alluded to in that post about Snowgrave.

of course!!! as your local chara defender since the ripe age of 13 i hope you don't mind me doing a small essay on this. please bear with me tho because i sometimes can't articulate my thoughts well on stories that deal with philosophical themes ;;

UHHH SPOILERS FOR UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE CHAPTER 2 BELOW

first let me make a few things clear so i don't have to repeat myself a bunch:

only tobias radiation fox himself has The Word of God privilege when it comes to things that haven't been explicitly confirmed in the games yet, EVEN if they're strongly hinted at. don't take anything i say about the plot as more than firm personal interpretation based on the info we have right now!

i cannot stress this one enough: undertale is a game that was never meant to be experienced from a singular perspective/mindset. the genocide route doesn't JUST exist for the sake of "enjoy your personalized edgy fuck-you run for being a serial killer in a video game", every one of the total 93 endings (look it up) in this game exists to reflect the player who achieved it in one way or another. the genocide route is really no different from any of the others, because in the end, no matter what, the player who decided to go through with the things they did will ALWAYS be rewarded for it. the question the player will have to ask THEMSELF afterwards is "is this what i wanted?"

OK MOVING ON-

let's think back to the little but vital amount of info we have on who chara actually was, like, as a person. we know pretty much all of this due to 1) the tapes in the royal lab 2) asriel's additional dialogue at the end of true pacifist.

while we'll never really know why frisk fell into the underground, asriel tells us explicitly about chara's hatred for humanity, and how they jumped from mt. ebott for "not a very happy reason"; supposedly a suicide attempt. chara "never talked about why", it's left intentionally vague because their reasoning isn't really what matters. what DOES matter is how this is relevant to the genocide run, ESPECIALLY with the new obvious parallels in deltarune's snowgrave route. i'll get to that.

when you finish the genocide route, chara will talk directly to the player in person. they talk about your (you AND chara's) success, despite "their plan (having) failed". this "plan" is one they secretly made with asriel when they were both still alive, as revealed from the tapes. chara got terminally poisoned from eating buttercups (whether this was fully intentional or not is still kiiinda up for debate), and while on their deathbed, asriel says that he doesn't like the plan anymore. yet despite his fear, he still fused his soul to chara's when they died.

the actual plan here was to become a monster powerful enough to slaughter humanity, specifically chara's home village by their own dying request - this all ties into their mysterious spite and hatred mentioned before. but due to asriel's resistance against chara, their fused body was killed by the humans - which eventually led to the creation of flowey, and asriel's inner demons after death.

but back to the genocide route. during chara's monologue to the player, they give us a LOT of important exposition. basically:

at the very start of the game, frisk's own determination is literally what brought chara's soul 'back to life'. we know how human and monster souls are different and how "determination" in this universe is something only humans possess, so it makes sense why it awakened them. i won't get into the whole narrator theory because i feel like it's not that relevant to my point (it's fun tho), but chara is always present from the moment frisk falls down, and stays regardless of the player's actions.

if you managed to finish undertale at all you'll already kinda know this (thanks sans), but the EXP and LV you (can) gain throughout your journey aren't just numbers on your screen - they're genuine in-universe manifestations of power that increase when you kill someone. and in genocide, chara explains how they were directly affected every time your stats rose. they could FEEL their spirit growing stronger for every life you decided to take (REMINDER THAT THE GENOCIDE ROUTE CAN BE PERMANENTLY STOPPED AT ANY POINT BEFORE SANS. YOU DID THIS.), so is it really that strange that they felt the desire to grow even stronger?

and once you do reach this point, there's no return. all that excessive time and effort you put into killing off a civilization OBVIOUSLY has some consequences. the consequences HERE being - if you paid attention to chara's life story - you took advantage of a traumatized child who was already at the breaking point and making irrational choices on their own, and you led them to believe that this was what they needed!

this is VERY MUCH SUPPORTED by the snowgrave/weird/pipis/whatever route of deltarune chapter 2 that was discovered about 2 days ago as i'm writing this. i'm gonna go ahead and assume you know what happens in it and i don't care to go into details if you don't, since this post is about chara, but surprise: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO NOELLE, TOO! even in a completely normal run, noelle makes it clear multiple times that she wouldn't mind staying in the dark world; that in spite of how scary and dangerous it seems at times (something something horror movies), she started to feel at home. POSSIBLY even more so than her ACTUAL HOME, with her dying dad and negligent mom. like chara, noelle is a young person with low self esteem and her fair share of trauma, even if it's not as apparent. and like in the genocide run, the player's desire to ruthlessly kill in order to grow stronger affected her already-poor mental state.

someone else already pointed this out specifically, so don't credit me for it, but the main difference between chara and noelle is that noelle managed to break free in the end.

if you're like Most People Who Played The Genocide Route Back In Like 2016 and you played the genocide route with no further knowledge about it than "i have to follow these specific steps to get a harder fucked up version of the game", i don't blame you. you didn't actually know what you were doing in the end, did you? but did the outcome disappoint you, make sense to you, or did it just leave you with an empty/confused feeling? i love undertale because it WILL force you to think about things like that. i mean, if the result wasn't gonna affect you in SOME way, why would you go through all of that trouble in the first place? you had your reasons, as the player of any video game where you know your choices matter. would you have carried out the entire thing if you knew what was coming? the answer to that is only relevant to yourself.

#i'm EXHAUSTED girl. #asks #chara #ut #undertale #dr #deltarune #noelle holiday #dr spoilers #deltarune spoilers

[suganovakawa]

do you happen to take requests? if so, may i- hcs abt playing and simping on genshin impact with kenma, kuroo, oikawa and bokuto-? you can lessen the cast if you want^^ thank you for the time! i love your blog 💖

GENSHIN IMPACT HERE I COME

genshin impact frenzy!

— kenma, kuroo, oikawa, and bokuto play genshin impact with you!

gen masterlist

taglist ( open! ) —

a/n — this game has taken literally so much of my time, it was only meant to be that i fulfill this request—also bokuto’s has minor spoilers to venti’s story quest! it’s pretty vague but it’s still there

kenma kozume.

✧｡ this guy can take on literally everyone with just the standard team

✧｡ and he does—he sees no point in wishing for people when he’s already got a decent team given to him for free

✧｡ you’ve literally fought with him so many times because he forgets that wishing is a thing and finds it strange that you are willing to spend your life savings on a single five star character

✧｡ he will only wish on the standard banner, since that’s where you can get constellations for the standard team

✧｡ somehow he’s collected so many constellations for kaeya and amber, it’s unreal

✧｡ you’ve debated on sending a complaint to mihoyo because kenma can’t send any of his primogems to you

✧｡ he’s currently AR 50 and still has the beginner’s banner untouched aside from noelle

✧｡ “kenma, would it kill you to wish on a banner once? just one ten wish summon. one time.”

✧｡ “but i already have my team up to level 90, why should i put in the effort to grind for anything else?”

✧｡ “because the other characters look nice?”

✧｡ “okay, and?”

✧｡ there’s no winning against him

✧｡ you ain’t ever catching him simp

✧｡ you almost caught him eyeing kaeya’s new idle animation but to no avail </3

✧｡ timeskip kenma streams on twitch, where even some of his viewers are completely distraught that he never wishes on the banners

✧｡ on multiple occasions he’s held events where he gives you money for primogems, and just streams you wishing for the characters instead of him

✧｡ he’d never admit it out loud, but his heart flutters when he sees the excited look on your face as you pull a five star character

tetsurou kuroo.

✧｡ for shits and giggles he probably decided to choose lumine instead of aether

✧｡ when he realized that he liked aether’s design more than hers, he just stopped using her entirely

✧｡ if he hadn’t gotten all the way to AR 30 before this realization, he probably would’ve started over with a new account just to choose aether instead

✧｡ he doesn’t play this game religiously, but he is far from a f2p guy

✧｡ will shamelessly simp with you if he deems the character simp worthy—if not he’ll just watch you simp and then simp over his own characters

✧｡ he almost lost his mind over albedo and had a heart attack when he ended up pulling a weapon instead

✧｡ don’t even get me started when he laid eyes on ganyu

✧｡ if you can’t get a five star character you want, he’ll purposely spend money so that he gets them before you and rub it in your face

✧｡ that’s what he did for zhongli

✧｡ “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT ZHONGLI?”

✧｡ “i mean, he’s right here. look! isn’t he so sexy? he would be a great addition to my team. you enjoy having jean though! i’ve heard she’s a great healer.”

✧｡ “tetsurou, i am going to murder you.”

✧｡ “no you won’t.”

✧｡ “i won’t. i just won’t help you with domains anymore.”

✧｡ “okay okay wait this can be discussed—”

✧｡ he hates grinding and will continuously hold if off until he physically can’t defeat any of the ascension material bosses

✧｡ however, he completes ascension quests the moment he can—it’s just his luck that he has to deal with the consequences when he has to deal with mobs with his severely under leveled team

✧｡ both of you raced to get to AR 40 first, and you won since you were actually smart enough to level up your characters long before he did

✧｡ you two like completing domains together rather than doing it online or alone

✧｡ genshin is more of a leisure pastime for kuroo, but he finds himself playing it more and more with each passing day

tooru oikawa.

✧｡ surprisingly? he’s much better at genshin than what you were originally expecting

✧｡ it’s probably because he has enough patience to grind for all of the materials SDJKFJKSDF

✧｡ but because he prioritizes volleyball a lot more, he’s only at AR 36 while you’re on your way to AR 47

✧｡ he takes it upon himself to compare himself to childe, and you just have to go with it because tooru will not take no for an answer

✧｡ just to spite you he goes around saying “hey girlie” every now and then

✧｡ he’ll come up behind you quietly and whisper in your ear, causing you to jump at the sound of his voice

✧｡ “hey girlie, hold still.”

✧｡ “TOORU COULD YOU NOT—”

✧｡ “c’mon, you know you you like it.”

✧｡ “maybe if you dressed up into childe’s foul legacy transformation, i would be persuaded.”

✧｡ “SAY NO MORE”

✧｡ simps for both mona and diluc lowk

✧｡ i just know he purposely chooses the suggestive and flirty choices every chance he gets

✧｡ he had a field day with ying’er (that perfume lady idk)

✧｡ he hates spiral abyss with every fiber of his being and refuses to do anything more after he got xiangling

✧｡ he likes flaunting his five stars to random people he plays with in domains just for the fun of it

✧｡ his favorites to flaunt are childe and xiao (he was originally wanting ganyu but her banner expired before he could pull her so he just wasted the rest of his pity and got xiao instead)

✧｡ idk why but i get the sense that he’s eagerly waiting for an announcement that scaramouche will be a playable character

✧｡ he will give you money for genshin if you ask nicely

✧｡ if you ask nicely and you give him something in return

✧｡ but all in all, he does genuinely enjoy the game

koutarou bokuto.

✧｡ kou will either forget to play it for months or you’ll have to pry it from his hands after being locked away in his room for at least a week

✧｡ his favorite five star to use would probably be klee, just because of all the explosions she sets off

✧｡ definitely simps for ningguang and albedo, but will see to it that he proves himself better than any of the guys you simp for

✧｡ he loves using fischl so that he can use oz

✧｡ he doesn’t take the game very seriously but still manages to reach AR 40, even though he has no idea how builds work

✧｡ he has no desire to learn either, he’s just enjoying himself and exploring the world

✧｡ he gets carried away with exploring the world that he found both all of the anemoculus and the geoculus before AR 40

✧｡ goes into emo mode when he doesn’t pull the character he wants

✧｡ the story quests make him sad when he does them, especially venti’s

✧｡ he regretted not having venti after he finished that story quest and just watched the story with venti and his old friend over and over again to mourn

✧｡ and he checks up on stanley every time he sees him anywhere, usually in front of mondstadt at night

✧｡ “i promise you that i will never leave you or let any harm come to you, y/n”

✧｡ “kou, that’s sweet of you—”

✧｡ “i mean it! i would rather die than put you in harm’s way”

✧｡ you have to comfort him repeatedly and eventually gets over it

✧｡ but now he’s saving up for venti’s rerun and has not been deterred or tempted for anyone else, mans is almost at 10k primogems for this guy

✧｡ mihoyo pls give bokuto a venti rerun

✧｡ it’s safe to say that venti slowly becomes bokuto’s favorite character

✧｡ you should watch out before kou becomes too emotionally attached to every character

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #hq #haikyuu headcanons #kenma x reader #kenma imagine #kenma headcanons #kenma hcs #kenma fluff #kenma scenario #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo x reader #hq kuroo #kuroo headcanons #kuroo fluff #kuroo scenarios #kuroo hcs #kuroo imagine #oikawa scenarios #oikawa tōru #oikawa imagine #oikawa x reader #bokuto hcs #bokuto headcanons #bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff

[dinosaurtsukki]

haikyuu!! as genshin impact players

a/n: currently obsessed with genshin impact so i decided to merge it with my love for haikyuu!! this was honestly so much fun to write and i hope you guys like it !!

Hinata: he’s the one who always asks for help in the group chat when fighting bosses as well as the dragonspine quests. super thankful when you help him but you just have to be patient with him jumping and accidentally pressing ‘attack’ when gliding’

Kageyama: honestly thought that collecting all the anemoculi was the first objective so he went out and found EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. loves to flex his stamina at hinata by jumping up cliffs

Tsukishima: RIP most of his characters are hydro users so he has to visit the oceanid twice every day all like 'hey, fucker. it's me again'. someone please give him fischl. hides the fact that he failed the gliding exams about twenty times

Yamaguchi: wanted xiao so bad he made 150 pcs. of almond tofu and a summoning circle in his room before wishing for him on top of wangshu inn. cried tears of joy when he got him 

Ennoshita: super intellectual player. takes the time to calculate the stats on weapons, artifacts, and talents before enhancing them. likes using archers to spam long-distance attacks

Tanaka: in it for the WAIFUS. wants mihoyo to add a trade character feature so that he could trade his male characters and have an army of waifus. currently saving up primogems for hu tao

Noya: BENNET MAIN !! ceo of bennett supremacy basically and loves watching his ‘bouken da bouken!’ idle animation. adamantly believes that he should be a five-star character

Daichi: wasn’t that invested in playing until he got albedo as his first five-star character because he loves the guy so much. loves bringing him when he does co-op and when the other player thanks him for the ‘albedovators’ 

Sugawara: klee main because he loves how chaotic she is. like, he’ll literally use her to kill fish in the springvale lake and timmie’s birds. he’ll use his elemental burst for destroying the training dummies for ellin’s commission

Asahi: even though he has five-star characters, he still likes using the starter team because they feel like his family. explicitly uses amber and kaeya a lot just to prove the haters wrong

Oikawa: venti main because he relates to him on a spiritual level and actually cried during his story quest. also emotionally invested in the NPC quests and actually felt bad about not finding joel’s dad

Iwaizumi: has the WORST luck when it comes to gacha rolls. always gets a five-star on like, roll 80 and when he does, he always gets the non-banner one first. doesn’t know the diff between crit rate and crit damage and is too afraid to ask at this point

Hanamaki: fucking kills timmie's birds for FUN. also does livestreams of him walking from mondstadt to liyue or farming as many pieces of meat he can in a day (the most was 1126). calls the primo geovishap ‘rock daddy’ 

Matsukawa: believes in traveler supremacy and invests in leveling them up, no matter what anyone says about them being a support. ‘y’all are going to wish you leveled them up when traveler becomes the avatar’ he says

Ushijima: very much an explorer kind of guy and takes the time to forage everything he sees. also cooks a lot and has 288 sweet madame even though he doesn't really need it

Tendou: actually enjoys being in dragonspine because he likes the thrill of freezing to death and the aesthetics. farms so much frozen meat because he can. lets ushijima co-op in his world to farm stuff

Semi: used up his fragile resin early in the game and now that he's at ar40 he has Regrets. yells a lot when he plays but that’s whenever he accidentally presses ‘climb’ instead of attack

Shirabu: someone told him that sucrose shouldn't be used as a main and now he's doing that out of spite. actually likes his team comps to be full of supports for the #supportsupremacy

Goshiki: he has such a hard time with boss fights but he's too proud to ask for help. knowing that, his senpais just show up in his world and ask if they could farm there to help him out

Kuroo: collects husbandos and co-op's in other players' worlds while role-playing as that husbando. he's gotten very popular because of this and is known as ‘the legendary co-op player’ 

Kenma: an amazing player, as you’d expect. he got to ar40 in probs two weeks and started livestreaming his plays. an absolute king at clearing abyss levels and showing off those satisfying elemental reactions

Yaku: WHAAAAAALE. you can tell by the fact that he always has the battle pass weapons and so many primogems. definitely a collector who tries to get all playable characters 

Lev: very chaotic player and accidentally walked all the way to liyue at ar10 while running away and dodging monsters. SOMEHOW managed to defeat boss childe without revival materials and by spamming noelle

Bokuto: has the best luck in gacha rolls, opposite to iwaizumi. he showed akaashi a pic of his first 10-wish roll (feat. qiqi, mona, and fischl) and was all ‘is this a good roll?’ 

Akaashi: great at building characters so he shares his knowledge by making videos on optimal character builds and team comps. explains things super well and everyone loves watching his stuff

Atsumu: likes to turn up the volume on his headphones and making lisa climb a really high cliff if you know what i mean. also desperately tried to roll for ganyu and spent all his primogems but got diluc instead 

Osamu: likes to spam genshin fan pages with dumb theories like ‘joel’s dad is the missing cryo yaksha’ or ‘madame ping is going to be on the next character banner.’ has a soft spot for barbara though

Suna: he’s often falling off cliffs trying to farm violetgrass but he does it out of love for qiqi. shows off himself using qiqi as main dps when someone says she’s just a support because he can

Kita: his signature literally says ‘come to my world if you want to farm’. his map is full of landmarks for ascension materials and will even help you find them. in charge of bringing a healer when you guys fight bosses

Sakusa: loves doing photoshoots with his characters, especially capturing stills of their elemental bursts. his fave character is ningguang because of beautiful and photogenic she is (even has the yellow seelie to match her)

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist):@montys-chaos​ @miyumtwins​ @strawberriimilkshake​ @pocubo​ @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan​ @therainroguefanfiction​ @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh​ @charliefredb​ @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @kirakirasaku @haikyuu-my-love @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr @atsumusdomain​ @goodfoodxoxoxo​ @ah-kaashi​ @guardianangelswings @definitely-yours @amberalisa @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs​ @procrastination-lady @miyakiyo0mi

#haikyuu!! #hq headcanons #haikyuu!! crack #hq!! crack #haikyuu x genshin impact #hinata shouyo #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #ennoshita chikara #nishinoya yuu #tanaka ryuunosuke #daichi sawamura #sugawara koushi #azumane asahi #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #ushijima wakatoshi #tendou satori #semi eita #shirabu kenjiro #goshiki tsutomu #kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #yaku morisuke #haiba lev #bokuto koutarou #akaashi keiji

[gumiberry]

I would like to elaborate a bit more on how Mikael and Silky mirror each other.

The original Angel Egg fell to the Monster World and got split into three parts, and one of them became Silky. Unlike Noelle, who was lucky to be picked up by a Frankenstein-looking guy who then proceeded to create an entire family for her, Silky grew up completely alone. She wandered around the Monster World and from what we can assume, at some point found some abandoned dolls and then hid in some cave in which she presumably spent her whole life. Due to this peculiar circumstances Silky grew up basically not knowing what love is, which understandably, made her very bitter. At the same time, it is implied that she was the one that tried to contact Noelle while they were both living in the Monster World, but Noelle, being not the sharpest tool in the box, failed to notice that, which made Silky even more resentful because now she felt that the only other being similar to her has rejected her. That would explain her love-hate relationship with Noelle as well.

But her unique circumstances had an interesting side effect - out of the three angel souls, Silky was the one who was truly independent and self-sufficient - qualities that are surely necessary to become an angel. The thing is, Silky does not want to acknowledge the fact that she is free to live her life in whatever way she chooses to. In the final episodes it is obvious that Silky could leave her little personal hell whenever she wanted - she just didn’t have any good reason or motivation too (I also think she did it out of spite and to attract Noelle’s attention). She got fixated on pretending that she does have a wonderful life - a castle in which she resides with her dolls as her servants, waiting for her prince to come and take up the place beside her on the throne that she prepared for him. It seemed as if she wanted to convince herself that even if she didn’t have any of the things that Noelle had (a loving family, a boyfriend, etc) she could have something even better. But if that was the case, if she was truly happy, would she need to pester Noelle like that? On some level Silky knew she was not happy, but her rage at Noelle and angels and her overall feeling of being all alone in the world made her unable to let go and live her own life.

So in short, Silky desires love (which she doesn’t know, because she has only dolls that she can only force to love her), is full of rage (which at the end she clings to the most), but what I believe is her biggest strength are the qualities of self-reliance and independence, which she unfortunately completely overlooks and dismisses as unimportant. But it’s when she makes that first step outside her cave that she finally opens herself to new possibilities and what’s even more important, to human connections, which is what she deep down likely desired the most.

Now moving on to Mikael, he sort of starts from a different side of the spectrum, but eventually ends up in a similar place that Silky is (just, for different reasons). It is kinda harder to talk about Mikael, because there is almost no information about his upbringing, but what we do know is that Mikael was brought up by angels and was told to protect Noelle since he was a child (and he believes that is all he has). It is hard to imagine that living in Heaven could be less than perfect, but the impression one gets from the way Mikael (and Raphael) act and talk about it, Heaven seems to be a matter-of-fact and a pretty... bureaucratic type of a place (we know there is an Angel School and that’s it). And even though Mikael was brought up there, according to the director Mikael doesn’t really have a family (it is emphasized that Mikael and Silky are similar in this regard). There is also the fact, that angels cannot be seen or touched by humans (and presumably by other angels), and especially from the way Raphael acts one can easily tell that if he could we would gladly go back to being a human again and live in Human World. Mikael is presumably the only one who, while being only a quarter of an angel soul, can see and touch angels (or just Raphael), which is further complicated by the fact that he can do that even without his halo (even Noelle couldn’t touch Raphael while she still had her halo). And if we follow what the show says about the requirements of becoming an angel (ex. having no desires or deep attachments), it becomes much clearer to point to where Mikael’s problem lies. Mikael has an unhealthy amount of obsession with - he idolizes them to the point of ignoring his true nature, identifies with them and wants their approval. Raphael calls him “a needy baby” and in the penultimate episode even sings about how Mikael idolizes and is in love with Angels. There are at least two instances in the show when other characters comment on Mikael’s weird fixation on angels by calling him “a fan of Angels” or “Angel freak”. But Mikael’s one-sided infatuation doesn’t seem to be reciprocated (at least, not until Raphael comes into the picture and even then, for the majority of the episodes Raphael’s advances come off more as an innocent teasing or a specific type of “mentoring”), and that shouldn’t really come as a surprise - after all angels are usually believed to be pure, perfect beings that do not have any desires. But Mikael has strong desires than he cannot suppress, and yet, those strong desires are exactly what hinders him from becoming an angel. And so, in the direct parallel to Silky, Mikael’s love for angels is his biggest strength, but in Heaven it doesn’t seem to have any real value, thus Mikael chooses to repress it and in order to become an angel tries to act as aloof, distant and self-reliant. Mikael wants to become a perfect angel (since in his mind, this is the only way to go back to Heaven and be with angels - notice the irony of him not wanting to be an angel to help humans even though that is another requirement of becoming an angel) and clings to Noelle (as he presumably sees her as the only way to become a full angel), but, as seen in episode 25, the biggest irony is that after spending two episodes prattling constantly on about how Noelle has to become an angel, how he, Noelle and Silky need to merge in order to become a full angel, how it is their destiny etc, when it came down to it Mikael seemed ecstatically content with having angelic wings stuck to his body, which he obtained by „simply” begging a Comet and didn’t seem to notice that it was his strong desire that made it possible (neither that nor the fact that his desired wings seemed to cause Noelle and Silky pain). So just as Silky needed to acknowledge her self-sufficiency and let go of her anger and resentment to able to get what she truly wanted, Mikael had to acknowledge that he does have desires and let go of the preconception that only by becoming a perfect angel he can get what he wants - because it turned out that when it comes to

strong desires even Heaven had to make some exceptions.

#tenshininarumon #tennimon #tenshi ni narumon #angel #mikael #silky #animeanalysis #rambling #imgonnabeanangel #selfdenial #raphael #berdly #halo

[blookmallow]

ok FINALLY heres the last. pile of stuff from deltarune sdgjgfg

sad 

YES 

oh my GOD im so glad they’re ok and apparently got back into my pocket again somehow 

rouxls thou art an absoluteth liar 

god i wish that were me 

thanks ralsei for your wisdom 

MAYBE NOT 

i hate this thing but also the fact that i was given no say in whether to take it or not and it’s Here Now And There’s Not A Goddamn Thing I Can Do About It probably means kris either wanted it or wanted it to spite me or both and either way, well played, good for them lmfao 

ive been waiting the entire chapter for this 

gaslight gatekeep girldad

anyway i cant BELIEVE she isn’t actually lancer’s mom. maybe she is and is just being a brat about it but it doesn’t seem like it. why does she look SO MUCH like him and his dad. lancer acts like he takes after her already. like why would she NOT be his mom, toby, answer me this 

though i did see someone’s theory somewhere that queen divorced lancer’s dad before lancer was. born. or. made. or whatever he is and wherever he came from. and she keeps, to this day, taking things in the divorce, long after the divorce. she took the kid in the divorce years after said divorce and it’s not even her kid sdgsdg

i definitely love that her immediate response to seeing lancer was just “alright ive just decided: im your mother now” 

what the fuck is this about i need to KNOW 

noelle’s dad just delivering an absolute one hit KO on his daughter here 

MOM HOLY FUCK

HOLY FUCKING SHIT 

THERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!! THERE THEY A R E 

i was so fucking hype about napstablook i didnt even notice all the prisoners are the dogs from the walk up to snowdin fsdjgdsg

imprisoned for dog crimes 

i dont remember what happened here that caused them all to get loose but i didnt get a chance to interact with them. oops. next time 

i wont. for you, my beloved 

i really like that somehow in this bizarre alternate world where even bratty and catty aren’t friends... somehow... napstablook still inexplicably became besties with undyne anyway 

mixed messages here 

deputy napstablook...................

napstablook and undyne buddy cop comedy when 

i missed the shots of it apparently but thank you toby for allowing us a small scrap of alphyne as well

well, well, WELL, if it isn’t sans undertale 

he won’t sell you anything unless you put it in a basket and the baskets are stacked so high its impossible to get them. this is a terrible store. i missed you so much 

napstablook back... alphyne hints... sans running a ridiculous store again... soriel flirting... nature is healing 

asgore oh my fucking god NO 

i wonder why they divorced in this universe though since the whole. thing with the. y’know. human sacrifice. didn’t happen, presumably 

i guess that probably means they were fundamentally noncompatible in some other respect even outside of that context/were never meant to be even in an alternate life 

proud of you buddy but also deeply terrified of whatever’s going on behind the counter there 

[slumps sadly against the door] please, i know you’re in there

I’m right out here for you, just let me iiiinnnnnn 

my heart hurts im so worried about mettaton

like. presumably if he never met alphys. and. won’t come out. he’s probably still a ghost and never got his dream body. so he’s just hiding in there. please... honey darling sweetie gravy let me help you let me hold you 

he said something like “show me something entertaining tomorrow” so im hoping with my entire heart that means we’ll be able to do something for him in the next chapter 

um  

im still really scared but toriel is still an icon

o K A Y 

does this mean the next dark world is going to be made from toriel’s house. chariel is going to be a character now im calling it right here 

anyway uh i have no fucking idea what’s going on still but this chapter was really good and even better than the last one and im finally like, proper invested in this

what is HAPPENING though like. its becoming pretty clear that the player is the Soul and is controlling kris, a separate being entirely, against their will. that’s why when they rip it out we can no longer control them or see where they go or what they do. but it clearly hurts them severely to tear it out and they can barely survive without it. and if we can assume kris was the one who slashed toriel’s tires... why?? that doesn’t make sense as something they would break our control over them to do

#lucy plays deltarune