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this-is-spn20 · 11 months

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Yandere!Sam Winchester Headcanons

A/N: yes i know I dipped out for a few months but I got inspo for this from browsing another fandom and tried looking for yandere fics of our favorite boys but couldn’t find any! If you want something right, you have to do it yourself lol. Requests are always open!

Spread Love!

-Marissa

WARNING: These headcanons are written with an unaware/unwilling reader! There will be the theme of stalking, harassment, unwanted attention, manipulation, and abuse (not sexual). Please do not read this if you are not comfortable with these graphic stories. Your consumption of media is not my responsibility.

***MDNI***

I DID NOT COME UP WITH THE LIST. ALL RIGHTS GO TO @dear-yanderee !

Word Count: 4,428

Suggested song while listening: Be My Queen by Seafret

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Sam may be (slightly) delusional, but he’s smart. And can be a bit sadistic, but he’s smarter than the average person, that’s for sure. Using his computer knowledge to spy on any and all social media you have. Hacking into your account while you were sleeping (he never made the effort of watching you in person, no no doll, you could possibly see him and it’d ruin everything. Just wait for him, Just a little bit longer.). He knew when you were sleeping because your laptop or phone wouldn’t have any activity for a while, meaning he could snoop around for a bit before you woke up. Took him weeks to dig through every square inch of your online life All your records, he’d print them out and clear his history so as to not set off Dean’s alarms or interest. Even though Dean knows something is up.

Compared to Dean, Sam just knows how to persuade you into liking him. Incorporating himself into your life without you knowing. Making himself ‘small’, a background character. That dickbag that bumped into you while walking in the park when there was CLEARLY enough room for him to pass by without nearly knocking you down (he didn’t even bother being gentle), well at that time, you didn’t know what a bad day truly was. Hell, if you’d just run up to him and cursed him out, you probably would’ve saved yourself a lot of grief. Probably. (Honestly, it probably would’ve made him more intrigued.)

Working double, sometimes even triple shifts, are bad enough. But when your job is to stock shelves in the only (and by proxy) biggest store in town, it’s just more strain and stress. So when some big old, lanky, buff asshat shows up in your store and almost completely wrecks one of your perfectly stocked shelves, you get a tiny bit upset. As you take two carts to take all the stuff down, your boss radios you to tell you to have two more shelves stocked up before your next break for the big sale. And to tell you that you’re on call for the rest of the week. Whoever that asshole was, you wished to see him so you could tell him about himself. Or beat his ass. Or both.

Little did poor, naive little you know that over the course of those first five, horrible, months that Sam was programming your mind already. You never saw his face, but he was showing that, while he could make your life so unbearable at a moment's notice, but he chose to do good. To do right by you. He showed how bad it could get before he swooped in and put on his deadly charm. First coming up to you in the store while you were stocking an aisle and asking where the candles were. When you told him, he thanked you and struck up a conversation. Using everything he knew you’d like to hear to rope you in. He made sure the first time you met him, you’d never forget him. Ever.

Now you’re just his little doll. Doomed to be locked up in the dungeon until you proved to be good for him. Then love, you’ll be allowed in his room! You may even get your privileges back. Only if you’re a good girl for him. Just for him. He knew it was only a matter of time now before you break. He just had to be a little more patient. Then you were all his.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s start over, shall we darlings?

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Giving gifts is his forte. When hacking into your computer, he made sure to make a list of your likes and dislikes. He knows your favorite movies, political views, your full name and date of birth, your blood type, your father’s dog’s name, everything. He saw the things you liked to buy online. Things you saved to your carts but could never afford to buy at the moment. So whatever is in your cart from whatever website, no matter the price, Sam takes it upon himself to buy the items and have them sent as gifts to your house. Anonymously of course. He loved seeing your face light up with surprise terror as you opened your door to yet another package on your porch with more items you planned on buying at the end of the month. If you could afford it of course. You wondered who was sending these packages. Someone you knew? But, you rarely showed anyone these wished possessions of yours. Was someone… watching you? I mean you always felt this… uneasy feeling in your chest lately. Maybe you should schedule a check-up with the doc.

Giving gifts is his forte. When hacking into your computer, he made sure to make a list of your likes and dislikes. He knows your favorite movies, political views, your full name and date of birth, your blood type, your father’s dog’s name, everything. He saw the things you liked to buy online. Things you saved to your carts but could never afford to buy at the moment. So whatever is in your cart from whatever website, no matter the price, Sam takes it upon himself to buy the items and have them sent as gifts to your house. Anonymously of course. He loved seeing your face light up with surprise **terror** as you opened your door to yet another package on your porch with more items you planned on buying at the end of the month. If you could afford it of course. You wondered who was sending these packages. Someone you knew? But, you rarely showed anyone these wished possessions of yours. Was someone watching you? You always felt this… uneasy feeling in your chest lately. Maybe you should schedule a check-up with the doc.

First, it was some makeup and a few nice dresses you wanted. You figured you’d still somehow ordered them. Even though your bank account didn't reflect such purchases. Still not convincing, even to yourself but, it was better than dwelling on ‘what-if’ questions. But as the gifts kept coming you got more and more… **concerned.** You’d confronted your coworker later the day after your umpteenth package. You told him that you appreciated his company while stocking the shelves, but you didn’t feel anything for him. To your annoyance, your coworker responded in complete confusion. When you told him to stop feigning ignorance he was positively confused. You and he didn’t know each other that well outside of work, so for this to be coming from you made him a bit angry. When you plainly told him what you thought had been doing, he told you to be careful, but he wasn’t the one doing it. In hindsight, you thought it was nice of him to express his concern. When he offered to walk you to your car that night, you were skeptical, but you let him do it.

Sam didn’t take too kindly to that.

But Sam decided to cool down on the packages. Now he thought was the time to make himself more involved in your day-to-day life. Small run-ins, nothing alarming but you knew who he was now. It started with him paying for your favorite drink at the local cafe you loved so much. He kept his cool and acted like it was just such a coincidence to run into you! How have you been holding up? He even took to finishing your book collection for your most recent series. Maybe taking to replace your worn books. You didn’t notice until you picked up one of your favorite novels and had to crack the spine. Indicating it was brand new. Things really got intense when you walked out to your car one morning and saw all your tires were replaced. When you got in, a note on your steering wheel simply said, “Your tires we going bald. You’re welcome.” You started getting more scared as the days passed. This person managed to get into not just your car, but also your house. A safe place. Your heaven. At least that’s what it used to be.

You were terrified to leave your house every day.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Well, Sam being Sam prefers to keep his hands clean as much as possible. Plus him hurting anyone close to you will make you even more challenging to get. He also knows what losing someone feels like. Even more than you actually. Why would he choose to make things harder between you two if being with you and only you is his ultimate goal? Come on, don’t be silly. It’d do nothing for him to see you so hurt. Who wants to see their soulmate in pain?

Unless it was absolutely necessary.

Like maybe one day you’re feeling a bit rowdy. You have a lot of fight, Sam had to give that to you. But why are you so insistent on staying apart? He can’t love you from afar, he refuses to live without your love. He’ll do anything to keep you with him. But as patient as Sam could be, there are only so many times you can push his buttons, love. Now if you keep fighting, I’ll have to punish you. We don’t want that, do we? After all, broken bones take a long time to heal… But don’t you worry princess, he’ll fix you right up!

With mandatory bed rest included.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Sam is a very loving person, so he wouldn’t really mock you at all. If you’re not trying to escape. If you are, you can expect to be tsked at and hear phrases such as

“Oh darling, I thought you knew better than to try something so stupid.”

“If you wanted to wear your chain today, you could’ve asked love.”

“Princess, you can’t get away from me. I will always see through your little plan. Your eyes tell me everything.”

If you’ve managed to piss him off (which takes a lot of effort so… go you?), you can expect him to leave you with more cuts and bruises than you could imagine. Just remember love, the more you fight, the angrier he gets…

And no, your begging and pleading will get you nowhere. But it hurts him more than it does you. You deserved it. It was for your own good darling. Trust him.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

No. Absolutely not. Sam knows love will come with time. He would never hurt you by doing anything you didn’t want him to. Including simply touching you (but isolation is a bitch babe.). Honestly, the only thing he is willing to do against your will is feed you. Especially if you go on a hunger strike. He will not allow anyone to hurt you. Not even you, and damn sure not him. He’d probably force-feed you through a tube. Same thing with being hydrated. He can't let his good girl starve now, can he? What kind of man would he be to let that happen, princess?

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Sam gives his whole heart and soul to you. He is a straight sucker for you honestly. He dotes on you a lot. Tries spoiling you with things he knows you’ll like. If you weren't in chains…

He tries to get you to open up to him by telling you everything about himself. To hunting, to what his favorite pair of socks were in middle school. Sam shows you sides of himself that not even Jessica got to see. He doesn't want to scare you so he almost shrinks himself to be smaller. Less threatening. Less dangerous. Honestly, if you’re smart, you could use this against him. You can start slowly opening up to him. Give as little information as possible and start planning your escape. Sam won't trust you to be out of the dungeon, or even your chains, for a while. But you’ve got nothing but time daring.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

At first, it’d be almost amusing. If it didn’t happen so much he’d probably get a chuckle out of it. He hates having to use forceful ways to calm you down but he has no choice. He’s used more chloroform than he’d like but it was worth it. But the chemical burns on your face make him really emotional. He may look into paralyzing spells to quail your attempts. If he does find such a spell, you’re fucked. Not completely, but it's not looking good for you, love. He feels like you both are in some loop. Like a cat-and-mouse game, though it’s getting tedious.

There is one upside to this though. These attempts of escape and fights give him an idea of how your brain works. Your fight style, and the ways you attempt to run from him and the bunker, give him more useful information and ways to stop your plans. Eventually, you can’t get out of the dungeon without at least 5 alarms tipping off Sam before you can even turn the door nob. Do with this information as you will, darling.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This is not a game to him. This isn't amusing in the slightest bit. Watching you try to get away from him hurts him deeply. You two are soulmates. Why can't you see this? Why run from him when he can give you the world. He waits on you hand and foot. He caresses you with the lightest touch. He gives you almost everything you ask from him. He will bring you the biggest, brightest star in the universe if you just love him, and let him love you. Open up to him. Adore him, like he adores you. Get lost in him and everything he is, like he does with you. You’ll do that for him, right doll?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Believe it or not, but your worst experience with Sam wasn't when he occasionally snapped at you for your smart mouth. It wasn’t when he forced you to eat to keep yourself alive for him. Always for him.

It wasn’t even the time he came back from a hunt gone wrong and an argument with Dean once again, and Sam had come into the dungeon for the first time in a week. When he tried to land a kiss on your cheek, you’d headbutt him. Sam snapped and hurled harsh words your way, and you were struggling against the chains, Sam had enough of your shit so he grabbed your arm and slowly, very, very slowly twisted it behind your back until, through your screaming, you heard a sickening crack from your arm. Your ear-splitting screaming was heard throughout the whole bunker and you collapsed into darkness. Praying that this was your end. But when you woke up to some beige room on an old musty bed with a cast on your arm, you couldn’t stop the sob that ripped through your chest. Only for Sam to immediately wrapped his arms around you and coo at your tears rolling into his shirt. Declaring he’d never bring harm to you again, although the scars covering your skin told you otherwise.

No, you see, the worst experience for you, dealing with Sam, was the day you realized you needed him. That you loved him. How could you not see it earlier? Sam’s doting nature, his soft smile, the obsession adoring look in his eyes, his velvet touch. Everything that was him. You loved him. You loathed him. He took everything from you, yet had given you so much. He gave himself to you. Trusted you with his very soul. And here you were. Being selfish, greedy, mean-spirited, reclusive, disrespectful, and just plain stupid. Sam could have anyone he wanted. But he wanted you, and you had the audacity to not love him back? Stupid and horrible. You hoped it wasn’t too late to win his heart.

Wait. This… isn’t right. Is it?

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He wants to enable you in all of your passions and hobbies. He wants the not-exactly-white-picket-fence-lifeTM with you. You and the front porch relaxing, watching him work in the front yard and you smiling at him ever so brightly. He wants to watch you take care of your plants and gardens, in a huge house that he worked so hard to get for you. For the both of you. Watching you take care of your many dogs and cats around the house.

And running after you around the living room and kitchen, just to catch you. Him carrying you up the stairs while looking into each other's eyes. Him smirking down at you, knowing it's gonna be another long night of passionate sex and lovemaking. In the morning, waking you up with gentle kisses and licks and biting. Teasing you out of your dreams. Dreams filled with nothing but him. Going into the kitchen to help you make breakfast. You lightly scolded him after him messing up, because he could help thinking how sexy you look in his shirts. Passion-filled make-out sessions with teenage-level humping and grinding. Sam always finds himself in these fantasies, only to snap back into reality all too soon. Then he remembers you must be so cold and hungry in that old dungeon. But he knows that one day he’ll get to live out all of that with you and so much more. Not today, but one day.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Well, he doesn’t have to be jealous because you don't even go outside…

Though he does keep a close eye on Dean. Knowing how he can be.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Sam is ecstatic when you finally allow him to touch you. His hands have been itching to cover every single inch of your body. He loves the way your skin feels on his hardened calloused hands. Your skin was still a bit rough from the scars Sam’s hands left behind. Those same hands touching you as if you were the best prize on earth. And to Sam, you definitely were. Kisses galore. When you initiated the first kiss, it was hesitant and a bit clumsy, but Sam cherished the way your lips trembled against his. Nothing mattered to him anymore at that moment. Only you. Always you.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

As stated before, Sam relished the fact that you (subconsciously) knew he was always there. Sam always found a way to be a background character in your life. A supporting role. If you will. Always the blurry face in the crowd. But always there.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Oh yes. He is very much different in different environments. He’ll coddle and hug and kiss you near death. He’s almost always in a good mood when he’s spending time with you. Happy BoiTM. When he’s with Dean, he’s pretty normal. They typical brother teasing, the good moments, the bad ones. Sam acts like he always acted before you came along and rocked his world. The same goes for Donna, Jody, Alez, and Claire. The interactions are the same. But when with you, he can't focus on anything else but you. That's also the reason why he won't bring his research into the dungeon/room when you're there. He wants to show you that he can separate work and home life. With you, he lets his obsession love for you run free. He just can’t hide how he feels about you, love. Also, cause he can’t focus with you around.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Isolation mostly, yet if you show yourself to be resistant to that, he’ll use physical pain and manipulation.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Almost all of your rights are taken from you. You can’t use any means of communication (unless you found some way to get hold of a spell.), You aren’t allowed to use any electronics unless Sam is practically attached to your skin. The only thing you can do is use the bathroom alone. Sam will allow you a few minutes in there depending on what you’re doing. But he’s taking everything that helps you escape out of there, even the mirror… You can’t be alone when you shower though. Sam will stand there, in the hot and humid bathroom and watch your every move as you shower. When you’re done, he’ll help you dry off and help you rub your lotion on your now rough and scared skin with nothing but utter devotion swimming in his eyes. Your night clothes will be put on by him as well. All of this will be done with the lightest, silk touch.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Extremly patient. Most days, he’ll put up with you and your shenanigans. But some days, when he’s in a bad mood or just generally tense, he’ll have a shorter fuse. You’ve learned to follow his orders on these days. Lest you’d like to go back into the dungeon…

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Sam would never let you go easily so I’d say death really could be your only escape, and even then, thats not a guarantee. He could always make a crossroads deal, or bargain with Crowley. Hell he’d even try bargaining with Death himself. He’ll torture a thousand demons to get you back. Sam will walk through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven to get to you. Sam will go as far as kill himself in hopes he can follow you to heaven be with you eternally. Sure he’d feel guilty about leaving Dean, but he’d be with you. He can live with that. After all, how many times had Dean left him, only to beg Sam to move on?

Now if you had escaped and were able to stay hidden, either by the help of some angels or demons or the other he’ll search the ends of the Earth to find you. If he wasn’t able to find you by himself, he’d enlist in Dean, Jody, Donna, Claire, Alex, Charlie, and other trusted hunters, hell he’d even ask Rowena to help. If all of them together weren’t able to find you, Sam would never get over you. He’d grieve you every day while you celebrate getting away from him.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

While Sam would never let you go, he’d feel incredibly guilty about taking you away from your home, your friends, your family, and your life. With him, Dean, and John constantly moving around due to hunting, he knows exactly how you feel.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Yes, in fact, his childhood and early adult life were a factor, constantly losing new friends to the hunting life, and then losing Jessica, his father, Dean more than once, and more people he could count. This, as one would imagine, would leave an impression on even the toughest people. Not to mention being bullied at a young age and not being accepted in any social groups just for being who he was. So when he first saw you, he knew he wanted you, and he wouldn’t risk you not accepting him, or being taken from him.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Hearing you scream and cry makes his whole body shiver as tears sting in his eyes. He’d do anything you’d like to see you only smile for the rest of your days together. Hearing your sobs late into the night makes his body feel as if he’s being dipped into the hottest lakes of fire. You could swear one day, you could hear the cracking of his heart as he watched you cry one day. You’d also notice how his tears would fall at the same time as yours did.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

On days when you’d been extra good, he’d take you for a ride in the Impala up to his favorite stargazing hill and bring a book and blanket. He’d read to you as you zoned out watching the stars glitter in the skies. Wondering how peaceful the star would be. Millions of miles away from you. You’d appreciate the little bit of freedom, even though you still had to wear a collar. But at least your wrists could get a break from those iron chains.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

The more you behave, the more Sam takes you out. Not in public places just yet. But it will come with time. Just stick it out and eventually you go to pubic places together and then you can plan your escape and get away from Sam once and for all. But keep in mind, if you fail and get caught, Sam will likely never take you out again. And if by some miracle he does, he will literally handcuff your hands together.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

If you piss him off enough he’ll slice your skin to ribbons and remind you what happens to bad girls. If you keep disobeying him he might just break a few of your bones. You can’t escape if both of your legs are broken, can you darling? He’ll break your mind by either isolation or some sort of mind spell.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He damn near kisses the dirt you walk on. This man is devoted to you. He’ll bring you every star you desire, he will kill every monster, buy everything you can ever want, hug you for however long to make you happy and feel safe. Anything doll, name anything and he’ll do it.

Except kill Dean. Nice try love.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Sam would spend no more than a few months to a year pining over you. Using his time wisely before he just couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Even still, he was as calculated as ever in kidnapping retrieving you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes. You’ll be broken beyond repair if you don’t get out.

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A/N: I hope you all enjoyed these headcanons! I'm back baby! Requests are open!

Spread Love,

-Marissa

TAGGING: @imaginestuffs @naturalswifty89 @fooshigoomies @of-a-chaotic-mind @as-lost-as-sams-shoe @starlordsimp1358 @slytherinlyn16 @trickstergoddessblog @desimarie12 @lovelynerdylady @samsgirl93 @candy-coated-misery0731 @crazyaboutotps @anjalika03

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lunadrawingonthemoon · 24 hours

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You already know who I'm gonna ask... Ivy :) (destroy her plz)

Ivy, Ivy, dear Ivy I have so many things to say about her design that I’ll separate this in multiples parts.

Something not suitable for war nor for cooking

First, it’s not practical at all, even for a mage on a wyvern and it is shown pretty much when we see the 3D model moving on the wyvern. It is struggling and not moving nicely, and it’s not normal for a design to do that, it should be able to work correctly (It is, most of the time the fault of the animators but it is harder with some designs too). I think it’s because of too many layers of clothes to dealt with. In general, with a war outfit, it makes more sense to have the opposite. Something simpler, to be able to move the most freely.

There is also some non-comprehensive little details about her design. First one is this thing.

What the heck this is? It’s so weird and does not make sense (I maybe lack some reference but idk it looks very weird) It looks like a grill or something to smash potatoes with. I prefer way more what her casual outfit did: a black veil. I found even more poetic when I think about the idea of her wearing it because of her being in grief for her dad death, maybe something similar yet fancier could be more adequate :

Another problem of practicality is with the thorns on the boots, on the gloves and on the necklace

… Is this some new torture device I wasn’t aware of? (hopefully the owner of the cave I live in doesn’t know about this one yet). Because I can’t believe she never got hurt with it. How do you manage to move with something, this long, this sharp.

Also, the very long strand, way longer than the rest of the hair behind, is also something that I found a bit strange. I mean, it’s not really a problem, it’s just more of a “why?”

A missed theme: Wanted her to be the rose she never was.

When I first saw this design, I thought she would be a new Camilla, as a sexy femme fatale on a wyvern. But she’s not like that and I think it is the biggest, strange take with her design. It doesn’t look like her personality… at all. She’s not a Camilla 2 nor really a Minerva archetype. She’s a shy scared young woman who had to put an ice mask to deal with her situation.

Her outfit is themed after roses but… she’s not a rose, she’s… an ivy. It’s a bit a “captain obvious” moment but yeah, the plant her name is from suits her way more than the one her outfit is themed. She tries to survive by grabbing everything she could. So why her outfit isn’t based of an ivy… It would make way more sense in my opinion. So, I tried a thing as a little redesign.

It a lot more inspired by her casual outfit which I think is a way better outfit but making it as it is more themed on ivies, more practical but still with some sexiness because I felt like it was important for them. I also tried to have some little details to show a sweeter personality like the ribbon (maybe something gifted by Hortensia she kept).

Last I wanted to talk about the colors. Again, her colors look a bit like Camilla’s one but on even more flashy tones, which again don’t really suit her (it suit her little sister tho), I really feel like less saturated colors and also a bit more green (to evoke the colors of Elusia, her country a bit) could be great and it’s what I tried to do while keeping the color of her hair. Maybe something like that :

At the end I really felt like they tried too much to put a Camilla like design, on a character which it was not suitable for, and so her personality is pretty wasted with such contradictions (and I say that while I don’t even really like her personality, but I think she deserve better), like there were miscommunications about it. I’ll not assume but it is really what I imagine when I saw Ivy.

Mika Pikazo is an incredible artist. But it’s true that even if there is honestly very great designs in Engage (as my son Alcryst, the Solm siblings, Kagetsu or Jade), There is also designs who felt really off for me (more like Celine, Hortensia or Zephia) but Ivy is really the one I have the hardest time with because she really have this weird feeling of a design which is differing a lot (too much in my opinion) from her personality.

#fire emblem #ask #design takes #mutuals #thanks for the ask!#fe ivy #redesign #It took me a long time to do this one but... worth it #fire emblem engage

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carnelianwings · 11 days

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Went and saw Gundam Seed Freedom in theatre last night, I have so many thoughts about it (as you'd expect for a long time fan - I've been waiting for this movie ever since they announced it), there will be spoilers behind the cut, but the spoiler free highlights:

This movie is everything I ever wanted out of a Gundam Seed movie - the characters, the mecha, the OST, the cast, everything. It is as much a continuation of Cosmic Era as it is a celebration of Cosmic Era at its best, there's so much love put into this movie I can genuinely say I enjoyed every minute of it from the beginning to the end. My one and only nitpick is that they recasted Cagalli, but Mori Nanako does a fantastic job, so much so I don't have anything negative to say about her performance. (More on this behind the cut below, as I will delve into spoilers.)

Story pacing was actually really good here, in that there's no true retread/recap of both Seed and Seed Destiny. The movie assumes you've seen both, and while you could arguably get away with a cliff's notes version of Seed Destiny (even I know how much of a Base Breaker it is from watching it as it aired in Japan), if you sat through it you're rewarded between the shout outs and extra emotional impact from some of the scenes. There's a few brief clips of flashbacks to the prior series, but to me they feel like they're providing context (as you don't get to hear the characters' inner thoughts the same way you would out of a manga or a novel of the same story).

The animation just looked so good on the big screen, even the CGI used for the Gundams (like they've been doing in the newer Gundam series) looked fantastic. So smooth, no stock footage, you can tell where they made obvious homage shots to the original, but they're clearly redone for the movie. It was a feast for the eyes, in more ways than one.

The OST is fantastic, the way Sahashi wove the various melodies from songs past and present were a delight to the ears. I particularly love how he kept using various melody lines from Shizuka na Yoru ni as a way to musically reflect Lacus's journey and arc through the movie - just a line or two of the main melody, sometimes shifted into minor key, sometimes intertwined with another character's theme (usually whoever she's interacting with at that moment). There's also some glorious reprisals from both Seed and Seed Destiny, all rearranged to give it a grander, more spectacular sound to match the on-screen spectacle. Definitely one of Sahashi's best works, and I'm really happy they brought him back for it. Also, if at all possible - don't listen to the OST before seeing the movie. It will spoil key moments for the final battle, especially if you know which themes are used where.

Now, onto spoiler territory.

First and foremost, I really feel like Seed Freedom manages to redeem Seed Destiny as a whole. My biggest complaint in Seed Destiny is and always has been that Shinn's redemption happens in 5 minutes in an epilogue that was added on in an extended cut - I loved the idea and potential of Shinn as something of a Villain Protagonist early on, and even as we watched him spiral further and further into his grief and anger throughout Seed Destiny, the fact we never got to see what redemption and atonement meant for him was something of a sore point. One of the things I love is a good redemption arc, where the character learns from mistakes they made and improves themselves as a person, as an individual, and we finally get to see that here in Seed Freedom.

Shinn finally gets to do what he really wanted to when he enrolled into the academy, and under Kira's command he shines. For a character that was so heavily defined by his grief and anger for 50 episodes, he's done a 180 here, putting in the work and effort to turn his life around - we get more scenes of him smiling and eagerly working to help Kira as part of the team in COMPASS than angrily scowling or yelling at someone. He's finally found someone he can look up to and work towards being; it's clear he looks up to Kira as something of a role model, both as a goal and commanding officer, and has been rewarded accordingly as the pilot of the Immortal Justice. He's a lot calmer now, long gone are his days fighting for glory on the battlefield, he puts a priority on COMPASS's main mission of intervention and protecting civilians (so much so he'll voluntarily use Immortal Justice's shield to protect them over keeping it to defend himself). But it's not to say his past is completely forgotten or even retconned away - he gets called the Freedom Killer multiple times here (largely as a way to get at Kira too) and while Shinn never denies having been that person, his reaction shows he treats it as Old Shame, something he did but is no longer proud of.

And the true pay off to his arc comes in the end, when he gets reunited with the Destiny thanks to Cagalli upgrading it to the Spec II in the final stretch of the movie. He greets it like someone would greet an old friend, proudly and triumphantly launching this time to the fanfare of Seed Destiny's next episode preview bgm - it's hands down Shinn at his most heroic, and it's a moment he's earned. He's finally become the person he wanted to be at the beginning of Seed Destiny, before he let his grief and anger cloud his mind, before he was manipulated by Durandal. And in the end, his journey through the darkness that was his time under Durandal's command become his strength, granting him a spectacular flawless victory over the Black Knights achieved through his own skills - Stella protects him from the Black Knights' Mind Control, and his instinctual berserker Seed Mode keeps them from reading his mind to predict his moves. It's after all the trials and pain he went through that he comes out at his absolute best, and the Seed Freedom version of Shinn is hands down the best version of him.

Character development aside, it's genuinely heartwarming to see a character that was so narrowly defined by his grief and anger to be the one who brings a lot of the light and levity in what's otherwise a fairly heavy movie. Seeing him as a Big Eater during the ball at Foundation, his entire reunion with Lunamaria after she thought he'd been KIA'ed in the joint operation on the Blue Cosmos base, him getting hit by both Kira and Athrun during their brawl (with neither of them noticing ^^;;) - he's come so far since his Seed Destiny days he's (and I can't believe I'm actually saying this) one of the major highlights of the movie. And then there's his smile at the end when Kira finally relies on him and his cheerful response.

And of course, I can't talk about Shinn without mentioning Lunamaria - they've both come a long way from their days at the ZAFT military academy (if you go off the prequel novel Moonlight Valkyrie) and even from their time on board the Minerva. You can tell there's genuine love and affection between them, mutually supporting each other both on and off the battlefield, between them sharing a room onboard the Millennium and the energy transfer moment between the Impulse and Destiny. There's even a clear moment of redemption for Lunamaria's shooting skills when she shoots down a tactical nuke in her Gelgoog. And while she's definitely not one of the main focus characters in the movie, she still gets her moment of triumph, launching in the Impulse once more after Shinn's Destiny. Even though she's relegated to the Designated Chick Fight, it's a moment of personal triumph for her - she's grown as a person since her academy days, her time on the Minerva and with Shinn and Rey has changed her, and she's a better person for it. Even her time pursuing Athrun (even though he doesn't return her affection at all) comes back as a Meaningful Echo in how she ultimately deals with Agnes. Instead of choosing to kill Agnes in her GYAN, Lunamaria does something of a "pay it forward", disabling the GYAN and returning to pick her up from the moon after the fighting is over. Like Shinn, it's clear Lunamaria's in a better place than she was during the finale of Seed Destiny, and she also gets to join in on some of the lighter moments of the movie next to Shinn.

Onto Kira (because I'm saving my favorites for last), who is most definitely the main focus of the movie, along with Lacus and his relationship with her. Is his story arc a rehash of Seed? In many ways yes, and in so many ways, no. On a surface level, sure - we once again have Kira trying to shoulder the entire burden of the team on himself, of trying to do everything without relying on anyone else, of pushing himself to his limits, and as icing on the retread cake, we're even treated to a CV Kuwashima Houko girl (Agnes) trying to get his attention and affections. And that's about where it ends, because Agnes' motivations are vastly different from Flay's, Kira's circumstances this time around are entirely different from when he was in Seed - this is more about Kira realizing he really doesn't have to shoulder everything by himself, that even if Lacus is a non-combatant, she's there to walk next to him side by side, that Lacus's love for him is completely different from Flay's (initial) love for him. For Kira, it's The Power of Love while also echoing Seed's earlier themes of how easy it is to fall into old habits and make the same mistakes again. It's about Kira finally breaking past his remaining trauma with his relationship with Flay - he finally realizes that Lacus wants to be with him for him, that she never expected him to hand her everything she wanted on a silver platter, that she's willing and ready to work and walk with him to their final goal and destination, wherever that may take them. His relationship with Lacus was never a transactional one like it was with Flay - even if Flay genuinely grew to love Kira in the end, her true feelings for him never managed to reach him before she dies. And in the end, once he realizes what he has with Lacus, once he gets a chance to talk to her and clear the air, he's rewarded with a shiny new upgrade to the Strike Freedom, Lacus voluntarily joining him in the battlefield, and of course, that ending on the beach.

As for the whole "Is Kira Yamato a failure because he was a failed Accord or just Orphee insisting that he is superior to even Coordinators as an Accord" debate, ultimately it doesn't matter (at least in terms of Kira's arc - on a meta level, yes I absolutely want to know lol). He's got the one thing Orphee will never have (Lacus's love) and with that behind him he can overcome anything.

Honestly, if this is where we end Kira's story, where he gets to go off into the sunset with Lacus, to live quietly in the middle of nowhere (or even return to Marshall Islands to stay with Reverend Malchio) where he doesn't have to fight anymore, where he can just spend his days with Lacus until there's some world-ending reason to step back into the cockpit, I'm good with that. Kira never wanted to be a mobile suit pilot to begin with, he only ever did it to defend the people he cares about, and if this is where we part ways with him, because in learning to rely on other people, he also realizes he can hand things off to Cagalli, Athrun, and Shinn (and by extension, Lunamaria), I'm good with that. (I'll get to Cagalli and Athrun after Lacus, I want to save my favorites for last lol)

Lacus always came off as a little too perfect, a little too good with her words, and with a Seed Mode that ... didn't activate like your traditional Seed Mode (for one thing, she never gets the Seed burst animation on screen when she goes into it; she almost always monologues her way in). And I have to say it was satisfying to see that crack some more this time around, where her decisions are a bit more questionable, where she's finally having to deal with some of the consequences of her actions (and by extension Kira's as he answers to her and only her within COMPASS). But ultimately in the end, she's still the same Lacus as ever - Silk Hiding (nerves of) Steel, steadfast in her love and support for Kira, something that nothing can change, not even meeting her genetically destined partner in Orphee. And yes, while even she gets in on the action this time, quite literally delivering the Proud Defender to Strike Freedom to upgrade it into the Mighty Strike Freedom, I don't really have much to say about her.

I will say this though (because it gets very indirectly touched on by Athrun) - if Lacus hadn't fallen in love with Kira, and had continued with her engagement to Athrun as set up by their parents, would she have gone with Orphee? Would that alone have changed events enough so that Athrun might've been conveniently KIA'ed so Orphee would've been able to sweep in?

Now, onto my personal favorites (and complete show stealers this time around): Athrun and Cagalli.

Where do I even begin? Athrun being a Big Damn Hero for Kira not once, but twice? Cagalli taking over Lacus's role for being Crazy Prepared, Bearer of (Gundam) Gifts this time around?? The complete insanity that is the Z'Gok hiding the Infinite Justice Type II??? The (remote) Battle Couple fight????

Cagalli's just pure Crazy Prepared this time. She's learned from the painful lessons of the past 4 years, ensuring there's a plan in place to get her people to safety, immediately issuing evacuation orders for the civilians to avoid direct orbital laser bombardment from Requiem. She's made peace with the fact that sometimes, you really do just need to hop into a Gundam to get shit done, so she's seen to it that the Gundams for the top COMPASS pilots are available should they ever need it. She's the one who came up with COMPASS in the first place, providing some much-needed legitimacy for what Kira and Lacus want to do. She's also very clearly been training with Athrun for mobile suit training - where she once Could Not Keep Up, she's able to seamlessly pilot the Infinite Justice Mark II remotely, a less advanced unit than Shura's Shi-ve.A, without Shura ever realizing it was someone else piloting it. She's back as the Goddess of Victory, now older and wiser and all the better for it.

For all that she hardly showed up on screen, her presence was felt everywhere, most especially whenever Athrun's on screen. Really, I wouldn't even be surprised if the next time we see Orb get threatened by Orbital (Laser) Bombardment, she tells her people to get inside to safety before turning on a shield to protect the cities and then taking the field again.

And as for Athrun - it makes sense he didn't join COMPASS, even though the fact he has a custom COMPASS pilot suit and the Immortal Justice was clearly designed with him in mind. He's found his place in Orb, staying by Cagalli's side as her personal knight. He's even got his own custom suit with the Z'Gok-hiding-the-Infinite-Justice-Mark-II - he's got everything he could ask for while still being able to do his part to maintain peace. And in a double redemption moment - Athrun's the first one to throw the punch this time when Kira starts wallowing in his self doubt and lets his insecurities get the better of him, repaying the favor Kira did back in Seed Destiny when he, well, Saviour'ed the Saviour. Athrun's the one to remind Kira that as a close friend of Lacus's that her actions this time don't sound like the Lacus that he knows, and this time (unlike when he did something similar with Shinn) it works and gets Kira back on track. Poor Shinn - he thinks Athrun's about to do the same thing to Kira that Athrun did to him during his time on the Minerva, but while Shinn's not entirely wrong, he's also misreading the room a bit, not realizing this is a "They're really good friends, and sometimes they just gotta throw some punches to work shit out" moment.

Because in overcoming everything that happened in Seed Destiny, Athrun and Cagalli have finally grown into the people they both want to be. They've found their way, fighting for what they both believe in. Their time apart in Seed Destiny forced them both grow as individuals, so that when we get to see them working together again it's in perfect sync. In so many ways, Athrun and Cagalli (and not Kira and Lacus) are the ideal the Cosmic Era wants to push - two people working together side by side, regardless of genetics, as partners and equals. The dream of Coordinators and Naturals, living and working side by side in harmony - that's them. And ultimately, it is what they do that brings the heroes victory and lets everyone fly off into the (metaphorical) sunset together. They played the long gambit - creating COMPASS (giving Shinn and Lunamaria a means to atone for the things they did, giving Lacus and Kira a legitimate way to stop skirmishes), upgrading the Gundams, being there for their friends and allies when they needed it (Athrun literally knocking sense back into Kira, Cagalli coming in with the equipment upgrades) - all while keeping their priorities in order (first the civilians, then reequipping allies, and then finally going into combat together to take down Shura), and it all pays off in the end.

Really, is it any wonder, then, when Shura tries to read Athrun's mind in the final battle he's just thinking of hot (naked) Cagalli?

#gundam seed #gundam seed freedom #spoilers galore behind the cut #i need a BD release of this like yesterday bamco #the movie is 2 hours long but it didn't even feel like it #sat near some random guy who fell asleep partway through like how do you fall asleep during everything #i waited 18 years for this movie and it was well worth the wait #also fun fact I think I was either the only girl or one of less than 5 girls in that theatre #i went on for so long behind the cut i don't even want to bother editing it so sorry if it doesn't all make sense #i just love gundam seed a lot okay #it's not perfect but i love it for what it is #now can i just get the ova where cagalli and athrun get married already

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midnightstoriesblog · 2 years

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Kyougai turned into a demon cause he wanted to appreciate, right? So, Kind Muzan AU, what if he got that appreciation? What if his writing became famous amongst demonkind?

The first person he'd talk about his stories to is Muzan, who also enjoyed his story.

Their (platonic) bond was strong. They were very close. Muzan was even comfortable to share some of his secrets and worries, and Kyougai listened and kept it a secret.

It's no secret on how close the two were, and some (like Gyokko, Akaza, and/or perhaps, Kokushibou) were quite envious. So when Kyougai was killed, what if Muzan fell into deep depression? He doesn't have any motivation to do anything and stays in his room all day. He became unresponsive most of the time. Kyougai was probably the first demon he was comfortable enough with and doesn't betray his trust (like many other had in the past).

They missed Muzan's warm and gentle aura. Now it's just cold and hollow. Muzan showed no reactions to things that he'd usually would (and Gyokko is especially sad at this).

What would the Kizuki's/Uppermoons do to help Muzan with grief? Would he even recover? Or would he just get annoyed with them eventually and just put up a fake front of being alright (which Douma could easily see through).

Maybe one of them (Daki?) even broke down in tears, begging him to just come back? Making even sadder, he merely patted her head and just looked or walked away? For a moment there, maybe she saw a glint of sadness or spark of life in his eyes. She could've just been dreaming, though.

Idk if this is too dark, but if it is, you can ignore it! 😅

Happy, sad, or open ending you can choose!

A/N: I'm veryy sorry about how long it took me to post this, I haven't had motivation to write in a while, but it's back now! Here it is though, I hope you enjoy reading!

Kind!Muzan dealing with Kyougai's death

Warnings: themes of death and grief, pretty heavy subjects, "happy" ending but not really

~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆

Kyougai was a well known demon in the community. Even though he was only a lower moon, all demons knew his name, but most knew him because of his writing. Many were considered his 'fans', but there was one person who was truly his biggest fan- none other than his master, Muzan. He spent countless days, either reading his work or listening to his ideas while working, sometimes even taking some time to proofread for him. So, when he found out about his death.. it was like a part of his heart was torn out and then ripped apart. Not only was he a member of what he considered his family.. but it was his responsibility to keep him safe..

And he failed.

Ever since he got the devastating news, grief overwhelmed him and every aspect of his life, and it seemed like there was no escaping it either, as it slowly changed the way he acted..

Even though he already overworked himself, it got even worse, as Kokushibou now couldn't even help with the work- because the door to Muzans office would be locked, and Nakime was rather.. hesitant to go against the masters orders, of not letting anyone other than Muzan into the office. Koku understood that, he was never the type to disobey orders either, so he didn't hold it against her, but he was worried about the fact that the order wouldn't lead to anything good.. No one was really sure what he did in his office, whether he was truly working, or perhaps he just wanted to isolate himself from the outside world. Not to mention, there was always a sense of.. coldness from his demeanor now. Even progress that was being made during missions, or even something as simple as Gyokko's new artistic ideas failed to cheer him up, or at least light a spark in his eyes. Most meetings were lead by Kokushibou now, only with written notes from Muzan at most.. even though those were rare.. It's clear that all the uppermoon were trying their best to help with the grieving process, but it was clear that they too had issues when communicating to him. Some of them were too scared to bring it up, others didn't know how to approach the situation and they weren't even sure if they should talk to him about it, but there were two who broke the ice- Akaza wasn't just going to sit around while Muzan was in obvious emotional pain, and Daki, though childish, was one of the most deeply attached to him, so of course she wanted things to go back to normal. Akaza tried to keep it subtle, he never had the courage to address the grief directly. It was always something simple- like knocking on his door and checking up on him, reporting everything that happens in person, rather than just passing the information to Nakime. He could've sworn that with each day Muzan was speaking more and more, even if it was only one extra word, he was simply grateful for even that much.. ..Surprisingly though, Daki was the one who made the most progress- even if it wasn't intentional. The breakthrough happened when Muzan dismissed her concerns (and cries) with a simple pat on her head, before turning to walk away. It's in moments like these that her childlike bluntness ends up being useful, because in that moment, without thinking about it for too long- in between tears, she blurted out something along the lines:

"We're here for you too! You can't just leave us behind when we're trying to help!"

It was probably the stupidest thing she had done- and yet, somehow- it made him stop walking away. It was as if a spark finally light up inside him..

Perhaps this was a turn for the better..

~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆⭒~⭒☆

A/N: Am I hinting at a part two? Who knows.. grief is one of my favorite topics after all... ;]

P.S: The Douma erasure in all of this was unintentional, I truly do love Douma, I just forgot to involve him in the idea <;/3

#kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kokushibo #akaza #kny fanfic #nakime #muzan #kny muzan #muzan kibutsuji #I can't believe I forgot Douma #He's in my head 24/7 idk how I forgot him

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bookaddict24-7 · 2 years

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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175. The No-Show by Beth O’Leary--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think the beauty of this book is the experience you get when you go in completely blind. I did this and I loved the twists and the heartbreaking moments. If you also want to experience the book like this, then stop reading this review and just experience the book! If you're still here, know that this book is more than it seems. I was wary at first because one of the obvious themes, but I kept going because I wanted to encounter that moment where everything imploded with the climax. Let me tell you, I was not expecting to get teary eyed. This was quite the story and I think I'll think about it for a while, just because of how well the author weaved these stories together and brought it all forward to that revelation. Also, there's a lumberjack-type guy in this. If you want a contemporary novel that follows multiple stories leading into one big conclusion, then you might like this one! I'm taking one star off because while I did love where the story went, I wasn't fully sold for the first few chapters.

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176. Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've seen this book on the shelves at work for years and always wondered what it was about. I never read the synopsis and I never fully looked into it. When I saw it on the library website, I finally decided to try it and I'm really glad I did. I had a young customer come in a week or so ago and he was looking for middle grade books about mental health because he wants to be a psychologist when he grows up. That got me thinking about all of the books that exist in that age category and when I mentioned this one (without having read it yet), he mentioned that he'd read it and that it was really good. So, really, that recommendation AND seeing it at the library did it for me. The main character of this book is an intelligent, curious, and unique child who does her own thing and isn't ashamed of it. When her parents comment on her first day of school outfit and how it would set her apart, she proudly responded with something along the lines of it not mattering. I think books with this message, especially when predominantly aimed at younger readers, are so incredibly important. We live in a time where kids are starting to be more aware of the differences between them and their peers (in a hopefully less toxic environment than when I was a kid) and books like this one help them understand that different does not equal bad or shameful. Especially in middle school, which most of us know is a cesspool of bullying and where "otherness" becomes a sign of weakness. I did find this book more tragic than I was expecting and I really appreciated the author's approach to grief because it can look different on everyone. But this grief also opened the doors for us to see that family isn't always a blood relation. Found families can be just as, if not sometimes more, important as natural family. The characters each had their own journeys to travel in this book and I was so grateful that I got to experience all of it. I highly recommend this book. I think the MC has a way of entering your heart and giving it the biggest hug, even if she would say that it's unhygienic.

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177. Happiness for Beginners by Katherine Center--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am on a mission to finishing this author's books. I finally got my hands (or my ears) on this one from the library and I have to say...this was my FAVOURITE one by her so far! The MC's journey is a fantastic experience of self-realization, the romance is sweet and hopeful, and the literal adventure aspect of this book was so much more than I was expecting. I went into this book SO skeptical, for some reason, and I ended up loving it. I love books where the MC goes on some sort of journey that will change their life forever...while their love interest joins them. Also, there's an age gap and a sort of enemies to lovers angle that I wasn't expecting (especially after that initial burst of chemistry). I highly recommend this for fans of hiking romance novels, age gaps, and the whole "my brother's best friend" trope.

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178. Aru Shah & the End of Time by Roshani Chokshi--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I've been wanting to read more of the stories from the Rick Riordan imprint because I've always been intrigued by different mythologies from other cultures. ARU SHAH did not disappoint! It genuinely felt like I was reading a continuation of a Riordan book and I half-expected his usual characters to pop up mid-story. This was my first time reading a story about Indian mythology and I am hooked! I'm excited to keep reading this series and hopefully pick up the other imprint titles in the near future!

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179. Book Lovers by Emily Henry--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have been hearing nothing but good things about BOOK LOVERS, so it became a little hard to go into this one without any expectations. Having read it, I can finally say that whether I had expectations or not, I thoroughly enjoyed this new book by Emily Henry. It's not my favourite of her more recent adult titles, but it's definitely up there fighting for the top spot with BEACH READ. One thing I did love about this one was the small town romance vibes and how self-aware the story was. I laughed a lot whenever the MC would describe the romance books and tropes that she's seen in popular romance books. Of all three more recent books, this one was the funniest--I would almost say that it was the closest to a romcom that Henry has ever gotten. I enjoyed seeing the romance blossom and that both the MC and the love interest had a lot of growth to go through before they had their HEA. Also, while they figured their lives and love for each other out, there was a great level of healthy communication between them. The sister was kind of...annoying and hypocritical. I understood where she was coming from with how everything went down, but I think her telling her sister to worry about her own life to be a little like the pot calling the kettle black. The communication and dependence both sisters had on each other was definitely something that I was glad to see explored. The situation also helped round out the story and giving it more filling, so it wasn't just a fluffy small town romance. I LOVED the commentary on publishing and editing. I never knew what editing might be like (other than the logical kind that I had in my mind before reading more thoroughly about the process book editors might go through). The way Henry always tackles grief is something that will always add to the emotional punch of her books. This one showed that grief can be incredibly complicated and that just because you miss and love a person, it doesn't mean that you can't still strive to not make the same mistakes as they did. Finally, Henry's spice levels are increasing. We've gone from that one sexy scene by the book case in BEACH READ to multiple O's in this one. I'm curious about the spice level of her next book 👀 Overall, this was a lot of fun. I was a little wary because PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION had a conclusion that kind of ruined it for me. But this was a fun book all the way through! I think I'm not giving this a full five stars because it didn't give me that sense of urgency I like to have sometimes when I'm listening to a book with romance. I do recommend it though, especially if you're a sucker for enemies to lovers, small town romances, and strong independent women who are badasses.

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180. Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I don't know what I had in mind when I jumped into this one, but it wasn't what I encountered! This book was so strangely unique and out there that I couldn't help but be intrigued and curious about what would happen next. I wanted to see what the characters would do and how they would grow/learn from each other. I loved that although this was had some themes that were out of this world, it was almost like an ode to music. I'm no musician, but I thought some of the descriptions of how certain songs made some of the characters feel were beautiful. It made me wish I could hear the female young violinist as she played her music. I loved the representation in this book, even if it was oftentimes heartbreaking. I loved the acceptance, both from the people that were admired and the self-acceptance that came with the violinist's growth. That ending was wild and I really enjoyed it! I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants a story that's a little different, has great LGBTQ+ rep, and has an amazing trans character who grows more and more into her identity.

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Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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ecsundance · 4 months

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Sundance Film Festival 2024 Summary

Before taking this course and attending Sundance Film Festival 2024, I had a pretty loose idea of what the indie film genre was. My understanding of it was simply that it was a filmmaking process being done by independents who had little to no funding for their projects. However, after two weeks of studying the material and really diving into Michael Z. Newman’s Indie: An American Film Culture I came to the realization that my preconceived notions barely scratched the surface of what indie filmmaking was. The three slogans (when in doubt read as anti-hollywood, characters are emblems, and form is a game) really aided in my understanding of the genre and it was really interesting to watch all of these films at the festival and actively apply the slogans to the material. I can honestly say that I left Sundance with a completely new understanding of films and how to watch them in a way that is engaging and applicable to my own filmmaking skills.

Below is a list of all of the films, including short films and new frontier projects, that I was able to watch at this year’s Sundance and a brief description of each.

Favorite Film: Exhibiting Forgiveness

An extremely moving film about an artist grappling with the generational trauma that scarred him and his efforts in trying to be better for his own family.

Least Favorite Film: Handling the Undead

A painfully slow film tackling the subject of grief in a world where the dead have resurrected.

List of Feature Films:

The Greatest Night in Pop: An electric documentary about the night in which the biggest stars of the time got together and recorded “We Are The World”, one of the most infamous works of music ever created.

A Different Man: A fascinating film about a man with facial disfigurements that undergoes reconstructive surgery which ultimately ends up changing the trajectory of his life.

As We Speak: A documentary that explores the ongoing battle rappers across the world are facing while dealing with the criminalization of rap lyrics, specifically the drill music genre.

Freaky Tales: A thrilling film that explores four separate stories that seemingly interlinked with each other. Jam Packed with an outstanding cast, the film manages to cover some pretty interesting themes while still keeping the energy exciting and adventurous.

Never Look Away: The best documentary shown at Sundance in my opinion, the film explores the story of photojournalist Maragaret Moth, an individual who was larger than life and took on some of the toughest challenges one could imagine.

Kidnapping Inc: A quick paced, comedic thriller than follows two criminals who aren’t very good at their jobs and who are attempting to get themselves out of a life or death situation.

Ponyboi: This film deals with an intersex sex worker who gets themselves caught in a troubling situation. As they attempt to find a way out, they are also confronted with their tricky home life and the pending death of their father.

Love Me: An innovative and unique film that takes place after the end of humanity in which a buoy and a satellite fall in love. It explores themes of purpose and identity and it is executed in a beautiful manner.

Little Death: A comical film that merges two stories into one, both of them exploring difficult situations that leave the characters helpless at times. Although entertaining, it was a bit of a mess at the time and the use of artificial intelligence took away from the plot.

A New Kind of Wilderness: A touching documentary about a family having to adjust to society after a devastating tragedy occurs, tearing apart the reality they had always known. The way in which grief was represented and how the idea of moving on was brought up was so beautiful, truly one of the best things I saw at Sundance.

Shorts Films Midnight Short Film Program

The Rainbow Bridge: A colorful and humorous short film about a pet owner making a spiritual connection with their dog before their death. The visual elements, although ridiculous at times, made the energy of the film so whimsical and fun.

The Looming: A beautiful depiction of mental illness in old age. It had bits that absolutely terrified me but it was honestly so devastating as the ending unfolded. Definitely my favorite film in the block by far.

SHÉ (SNAKE): A short film that explores a young school girl suffering from imposter syndrome due to feeling threatened by the new girl’s presence. This wasn’t my favorite film from the block as I was left a bit confused, but the visual elements were quite compelling.

The Bleacher: A short film about missing socks, a cheating husband, murder, and a giant washing machine monster. This film was absolutely insane from start to finish and honestly a bit unsettling. I absolutely loved it.

Bold Eagle: There is so much to say about this short film, yet nothing at all. It was an experimental piece that explored the subjects of porn and politics while managing to maintain the most chaotic ambiance imaginable.

Dream Creep: This short film was so unique with its storyline, I had never seen a plot quite like that one. It’s one of those short films that really made me wish it was a full feature length film because of how intriguing it was.

Indie Episodic:

“LOLLA: THE STORY OF LOLLAPALOOZA”: An electric two episodes that explore the punk scene of what eventually became one of the most popular music festivals in the world. Watching these was so much fun and the amount of archival footage was fascinating to see.

New Frontier:

Eno: An innovative and abstract documentary piece that explores the colorful life of Brian Eno and his creative strategies when it comes to music making.

Talk:

United Airlines, Uniting and Connecting Storytellers (Latino Filmmakers Network): This event was so much fun to attend. It felt great listening to all of the Latino filmmakers and their experience with being at Sundance. Not only was it beyond interesting, but it was wonderful to see people like me up on a stage and being successful in the filmmaking industry.

With all that being said, being able to attend Sundance was honestly one of the greatest experiences I have ever had and I am beyond grateful that I was given the opportunity to go with some of my closest friends. Being in that environment was honestly a game changer and further motivated me to continue creating films and fully immerse myself in that world as I grow older and continue to learn more about the genre and skill of filmmaking. I hope to be back at Sundance in the near future!

-Manu Delgado

#sundance #sundancefilmfestival #indiefilm #indie #sundance 2024

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theanimeview · 2 years

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Belle - Please Erase the Last Half of This Movie From My Mind (Review)

By: Beata Garrett | @zhongxia246

Belle won me over for the first hour with its gorgeous visuals, nuanced take on the power of the internet, and soundtrack. At least, that was until I saw the turn it was taking in the latter half and thought, Please no, don’t do this.

It’s hard to reconcile my overwhelmingly positive feelings for the first half with the dismay I felt later, but I’m going to try.

The movie follows Suzu, a shy high school student living in a rural village.

Since her mother’s death, she’s had difficulties singing and connecting with other people. But when she enters the massive virtual world of “U,” she becomes Belle, a beautiful and beloved singer who’s afraid of nothing. One day, her concert is interrupted by a monstrous user called Dragon. As she connects more to this mysterious “beast” and learns of his wounds, she must decide who she truly wants to be and whether her secret identity is worth keeping.

The movie wastes no time throwing viewers into the world of “U,” and showing us how bright and exciting it is to be loved and famous. If you’ve seen director Mamoru Hosoda’s other work, Summer Wars, you’ll be struck by the resemblance of Belle’s virtual world, “U,” to “OZ.” I love the way Hosoda imagines the internet as a bewildering rush of highways and nonstop traffic, and how the logic of his virtual worlds are story-driven--there’s no point in criticizing how anything works because the emotion and fantasy is the point. By allowing “U” to scan your biometric data, your hidden strengths and true self are revealed, and that’s exactly what Suzu needs.

Hosoda did a great job making viewers empathic to Suzu by showing us the toll her mother’s death has taken on her. A montage depicts how happy the family was and where Suzu’s love of music came from then cuts to her death. It’s a noble death as she rescues a child stuck in a raging river, but the event leaves Suzu still struggles with her sadness and anger towards her mother for making that decision. This was a great character moment and gave me hope that Belle could tackle such difficult themes regarding grief.

Suzu’s only other friend is Hiro, whom I found to be both funny and terrible as a friend. She invited Suzu to “U,” and supports her more as a manager than she does as a good friend. Her only other friend is Shinobu, a popular boy whom Suzu has a crush on and who just wants her to open up. This is all he is throughout the entire movie, which made me feel like their relationship was a waste of screen time.

The only bright spot in the cast of supporting characters were Ruka and Kamishin, two characters with far less screen time that still become a cute couple by the end and felt like a much better emotional investment than the Shinobu and Suzu love story.

I was convinced for the first half of the movie that Shinobu was the antagonist because there is a vigilante or “princely” user (Justin) in U, but the antagonist(s) never gets any meaningful development.

This becomes emblematic of Belle’s biggest problem-–besides Suzu, none of the other characters are fleshed out or entertaining to watch. They feel and act like cardboard cutouts.

Perhaps this was a way to make Suzu stand out more within the story since, in her ‘real life’ she’s invisible and, in contrast, Suzu’s characterization does indeed stands out. Personally, I enjoyed the way her anxiety was depicted in reality versus the freedom she has in “U.”

Source: millennium parade - U

While the internet is harmful in many ways, it does allow people to have the freedom to put a version of themselves out there that they can’t be in real life, and to connect in meaningful ways to people they would otherwise never meet. As soon as Belle arrives, she starts singing the incredibly catchy “U” by millennium parade that I’ve had on my playlist for months.

youtube

Title: millennium parade - U

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3V4sAXUJ-g&ab_channel=millenniumparadeOfficialYouTubeChannel

Predictably, people both love and hate her, introducing one of the film’s strong points: the effects of fame. This is done very well through characters like Belle, Dragon, and even includes some of the supporting characters, like Ruka. They’re heroes to some and enemies or villains to others, which is how celebrities in real life are often viewed.

Dragon is a hero to kids but monstrous to adults, and the adoration of Belle grows once she’s perceived as Dragon’s victim only helps to solidify that mindset in people’s minds.

I find the little ways in which Hosoda depicts the lives of others through social media is fascinating and condemns the easy anonymity of hating or worshiping someone on the internet. The twist on the classic fairytale of Beauty and the Beast is also clever, and Dragon had a lot of potential to serve as a well-written counterpart to Belle. It’s a shame that the reveal of his identity was so…distasteful.

For example, a part of his mystique are the bruises on his avatar which seem to increase with every virtual fight he has... only to have that note discarded when it becomes clear that Dragon’s real-life identity is a child, Kei, being physically abused and that “U[’s]” interface is simply carrying that onto his virtual identity through the constantly updating biometrics scan.

The bruises are what leads Suzu on her quest to find Dragon’s real identity, and she ponders the mystery of them throughout the movie prior to discovering their real cause. I would’ve preferred that the bruises were an indication of his emotional turmoil rather than what it turns out to be--the markings of physical abuse he’s suffered at the hands of his father while trying to protect his brother.

This revelation is the beginning of the movie’s worst half. From there, Belle sidelines Suzu’s grief and the healing process to focus on a simplistic rescue story. Now that Suzu knows who Dragon is, she must save him from his father who’s a complete caricature of an abusive person. There’s a wonderfully animated scene of her singing with her true face to win Kei’s trust with millions of users singing alongside her, but even that fell flat in its emotional impact.

Source: https://gkids.com/films/belle/

Honestly, the depiction of Kei and his brother’s trauma upset me a lot. On one hand, Hosoda nailed an important insight of how hard it can be to help someone when you find out they are in an unsafe situation. Calling the police or encouraging them to tell someone may put them in even more danger and there are solutions that those kids have probably already done or thought of that didn’t work.

Kei’s feeling of hopelessness is completely reasonable and it doesn’t help that Suzu comes to check up on him only to... well, return home--presumably, leaving him and his brother under the continued care of their father. One of the supporting characters does call the police but it was already shown that this is ineffective. I was incredibly angry when he hugged Suzu and said something along the lines of, “You showed me how to be strong and now I’m going to fight, too.”

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/movies/comments/qmebct/discussion_on_belle_ryuu_to_sobakasu_no_hime/

First of all, being weak or being strong has nothing to do with being a victim of abuse. And…is that all? I would’ve given the movie a bit of a pass if Kei and his brother began living with Suzu but Belle doesn’t even give that to these kids.

We have no idea what happens to them--whether they get help, are able leave, or even an update of things that have changed. We get nothing to complete this major part of the story and that’s just bad writing.

Source: https://ianime0.tumblr.com/post/664753880604753920/ryuu-to-sobakasu-no-hime-are-you-really-belle/amp

In conclusion, this was a beautifully animated movie that should’ve focused on Suzu and the role of music in her story of coming to terms with her mother’s death. Like other Hosoda movies, Belle is filled with gentle moments that will make you teary-eyed but wastes the rest of its runtime with bland side characters and a muddled plot. Overall, it’s a hit-and-miss movie that left me confused and angry when I came out of the theater, and I know I’ll only watch the first half if I ever see it again.

#Belle #Belle 2021 #Review #Movie review #Music #analysis #belle ryu to sobakasu no hime dragon #ryu to sobakasu no hime dragon #belle: ryu to sobakasu no hime dragon #The Dragon and The Freckled Princess #belle: The Dragon and The Freckled Princess #belle The Dragon and The Freckled Princess

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mittensmorgul · 3 years

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So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways.

#spn 15.20 #chuck's process #if this was the 'happy' ending for dean they sure did fail big time to make it actually happy!#it makes me feel sick thinking that dean's happy heaven ending was more like an eternal pit of torment #like actively tormenting him and taunting him with the fact that cas was truly gone forever #like wow they went all the fuck out to make it clear that even in heaven #dean would never be allowed to respond to cas's declaration of love #like... it's the most hurtful and hateful thing the show could possibly have done to us #and it still fucks me up knowing there's people who think this heaven was a 'good' ending for dean #like... fuck that entirely and with extreme prejudice #i feel like i have not been emphatic enough about my absolute hatred for this episode in these tags #but sadly there are limitations to expressing the actual feelings i'm feeling in the english language #sometimes the only effective word for these feelings involves velociraptor screeching #Anonymous

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interact-if · 3 years

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Day 10, 2/2 of the A/PI Heritage Month featured authors interview! For our final entry, we have the amazing Shai!

Shai, author of Hollowed Minds

A/PI Heritage Month Feature Author

“You will play as a disgraced detective, entangled in webs of conspiracies and betrayal as your character engages in a suspicious probation - with a whole lot of enigmatic hallucinations and explosions to deal with. It will be up to you to shape your detective’s (or Ripper’s, if you prefer to call them that) perception and motivations. After all, Gaile City is a place full of secrets - some of them belonging to your own character’s family - and you’ll have the freedom how to act accordingly.”

Author's Kofi

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

To put it simply, Hollowed Minds is a long quest on morality and relationships. You'll start as a disgraced detective, once a favored hero of the city until this one unfortunate mistake, and now you're forced into a suspicious probation that you shouldn't even be in. There would be a lot of challenges and suffering along the way, and you can either help your character maintain their heroic ideals or succumb to the darkness that the future brings.

Q1: First of all, introduce us to your project! What is it about?

There are a lot of things to uncover in the story, but the main issues in the first book would be the mysterious hallucinations that people are suffering from and the explosions that would shake the fundamentals of the society. There would be several approaches to choose from as you go forward, some of which may be quite outside the law, and you could opt to use a certain ‘talent’—one with accompanying repercussions—to learn more secrets. You would also have the choice to cultivate your relationships with the people you trust the most and have your interactions with them matter in the long run.

As it is, you'd have a large target on your back, owing to a sinister group with a very sinister plan—something that might be worse than death.

Q2: If it’s not too spoilery, what are you most excited about your project?

First of all, the reputation system. You can manipulate how the general public would see you, either as the hero they once saw you as, or a corrupted personality that everyone would loathe. Best thing about it? You can hide your real intentions. This would have a lot of interesting consequences, especially if your character's actions tend to be the opposite of what they're perceived as.

Second, the most awaited reunion. People who have read the available demo would know what this refers to, and well, it's about to happen soon, so I'm very excited about the idea of writing the whole scene!

Then there's this one big chapter that I know would be torturous to write and code. Basically, you'll be choosing how to 'infiltrate' this certain location, the person whom you'd be with most of the time, a decision between accomplishing what you came there for or sacrificing it for something else, how you'd get out, and where you'd go to after the whole thing. It will be a wild ride of twists and emotions, and it's not even the endgame. A lot may change with this chapter alone, and it's one of those things I think about a lot before going to sleep.

Lastly, the customization of the main character. The motivations, blame mechanic, alcoholic/non-alcoholic option, and relationships (romantic or not). Those little details would change a lot of content in the narrative and maybe in the plot itself. Whether you want to build a character who's kind to a fault or an anti-hero who wouldn't hesitate to make questionable decisions, the journey would be entirely yours.

Q3: What inspired the current project you’re working on?

It was based from a short story of mine that won a small competition back in 2018. They share similar themes, but the short story was a lot darker than I could ever put in a game that I plan to get published.

I initially thought of starting my IF writing attempts with the supernatural genre—it does seem to be a successful area—but that short story was probably the first piece of mine that I've come to appreciate, and I wanted to at least honor that. The writing style that I adopted, the evocative tone I learned to use, and the plot pieces that I've managed to be good at crafting—they all started with that story.

Looking back, there aren't much similarities anymore between the two, maybe aside from the appearance of certain characters, but the themes are still the same.

It will definitely be a huge challenge to implement what I have on mind, but I do hope people would love what's to come.

Q4: Do you pull from your own identity for inspiration? How has that been reflected in your work?

I grew up in a troublesome neighborhood, along with people who continue to fight against the struggles. That's both good and bad, I suppose. Philippines has a lot of corruption deep in its roots, I won't deny that, but there are also people working hard for the changes they want. That's one of the biggest influences I've got in this story.

As we delve into the plot, the readers would discover more questionable decisions that some characters may have made or would make. It's parallel to how I witnessed people having differing reactions to injustice and the way they make changes in their lives as a response. Adding to that, I personally know the feeling of grief, and I’ve seen how the people around me deal with it themselves.

There are also moral choices to be had in the game, and when I speak of that, it's not going to be just around choosing between saving/killing people. It's about the main character's intentions and emotions, and how the revelations might slowly change their views. It would be a story that will steadily define your character’s perceptions amid the threats.

Q5: What’s been your experience so far? With writing, with the if community...

It's been great. I appreciate the people who have reached out in various ways to share their love for my work and to give meaningful feedback that are continuously helping me shape the story in a better way. And honestly, I'm so overwhelmed with excitement for all the support I'm getting. I didn't even expect a lot of people to like the story this early. That's why I'm so thankful!

There's also a great IF author whom I've been occasionally getting advice from, and they've been a huge reason as to why I even managed to make the first steps. Interacting with other writers is something that I never really expected myself to do, but I’m quite glad I did it.

Q6: Do you have any future projects in the works?

There are three more interactive fiction stories I've already thought of, though I won't be actively working on them until I finish the Hollowed Minds series, which would take a long while. Their temporary titles are respectively "Corrupted Legacies" (fantasy), "The Remnant's Keeper" (supernatural horror), and "A Hero's Touch" (superhero story with a twist).

Aside from that, I'm also looking forward to finishing my fantasy novel, one that I've been delaying for years, literally, as soon as I finish the first book of Hollowed Minds.

Q7: Finally, what piece of advice would you give to fellow authors?

Write what you want to write. I know that you're all probably tired of hearing this, but it is still very important. During the planning stages, you'd most likely be excited to show the readers what you've got in store. You'd be proud of it, and you'd believe that it's one of the most brilliant ideas out there. Then a few days after you finish planning, you'll realize it may not attract as much readers as you may have expected initially. Then you'll get tempted to change your visions for the story and adopt the plot lines that the famous works have.

Do not abandon your own vision.

It's your work. It's your masterpiece. Listen to feedback, sure, and let them guide you into becoming a better writer, but do not let go of the things that made your work your own. Some way or another, there will be people who would love your story, and they'd deeply appreciate that you made it the way it is.

So don't hesitate. Is it weird? Is it unconventional? Does it belong to a genre that's not as popular as the others? It doesn't matter. Write it, polish it, and show it to the world.

People will love it as long as you do.

#if: events #Happy Asian and Pacific Islander month!!#Asian/pacific islander month 2021 #a/pi month #a/pi month 2021 #aapiheritagemonth #aapi month #interactive fiction #authors of color

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wannabemobwife · 3 years

Text

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas - Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sucker for Pain

Dad!Mob!Tom Holland x Mom!Mob!Reader

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield

Warnings: Guns (its in the title lol), grief, a minor mention of blood, fighting, always angst (what I consider angst)

Words: 4.1K

Author note: Totally cried while writing this. Feel free to leave comments or message me directly your feelings while reading the chapter. Always love hearing from you guys.

Chapter 5: Sucker for Pain

Words: 4.1K

Word of Charlotte’s death had spread like wildfire, especially at school. Only Rosie was attending the past fews days. Parker set to join her in two days time, after the funeral, he was scared of what lied ahead. Parker was discharged from the hospital a few days ago, under strict instructions to rest. He started to go a little stir crazy, watching the days pass.

Most of the student’s attended the funeral. Charlotte’s demise was widely publicized which made Parker’s blood boil. No one knew her like Parker did. Who Charlotte actually was the complete opposite of the persona she put on in public and at school. Charlotte was secretly funny and enjoyed really cheesy corny jokes. Her sense of humor was one of things that made Parker fall in love with her.

All the Hollands attended. You, Tom, Rosie, and Parker, and hoped to pay your respects. Parker was exhausted, he had been going through the stages of grief. How could his life get so screwed in a matter of a few weeks. A couple weeks ago, he was a kid planning his promposal for his girlfriend and now he is a protégé of the biggest mob in London who was about to bury his girlfriend.

This was the final stage, the one he was dreading the most, acceptance. He didn’t want to let her go. Charlotte changed his world for the better. She was the first person he ever loved and loved him in return.

The denial didn’t last long. It was unfathomable how she no longer existed. How the world wouldn’t be blessed with her beautiful smile anymore. Or her corny sense of humor and gracious presence. How could someone so perfect just leave the world so suddenly.

Bargaining followed next, coupled with anger. Parker was angry at the world, God, himself, and the bastards that killed her. If they had only driven home when he wanted to, she would still be here. If he hadn’t gotten grounded and not overslept and cleaned up quick enough. If he hadn’t thrown that stupid party. If his dad never gave him an ultimatum. If he never turned 16. Even if he never existed in the first place, Charlotte would still be alive.

There are 5 stages of grief as if you move on from one to the next but no, they stick with people. Especially, depression and anger. How does anyone ever really get over death. Losing someone you love is greatest pain ever felt. Someone you held and protected. Losing Charlotte, in that moment Parker wasn’t good enough. Not enough to protect her or love her.

Bringing us up to date, acceptance. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye but since when did he start getting what he wanted. Parker stood like a statue as he watched Charlotte’s casket lower in to the ground. He knew he had to be strong not just for himself, but for everyone else, especially Charlotte’s parents. At the reception, Parker tried to speak to them but, he didn’t know what to say. How could he lie to them saying it was an accident when in reality he was the reason.

“You have some real nerve showing up here,” Mr. Owens said as Tom walked up to the grieving parents. “I was so sorry to hear about Charlotte, Mrs. Owens,” Tom explained. “You daft prick, you were there. You could’ve protected her,” screamed Mrs. Owens to Parker.

“Mrs. Owens, I just came to offer my condol—“ Parker tried to say.

“Fuck your condolences!” She yelled, throwing her daiquiri straight on Parker. Coating him, from head to toe, in a very potent alcoholic drink.

“I think what my son is trying to explain is that if you need anything, money or a favor, it would be our pleasure. Our family business has some important ties.” Tom exclaimed, hoping to bring them some peace. “You and your son end lives. That’s your family business. I want no part of it. Now if you don’t mind, please get out of my fucking way.” Mrs. Owens said, pushing her way past Tom.

“You people have too many strings. I just want my baby girl back, and you can’t do that,” screamed Mrs. Owens as she left the premises.

“Sir, you want me to take care of her?” asked William, Tom’s capo. “Leave her alone, she’s grieving. Parker come on, let’s go home and get you cleaned up,” Tom explained.

“She’s right. If it weren’t for me Charlotte would still be alive.” Parker said solemnly. Tom hated seeing his son like this, it was eating him up inside. Tom couldn’t do anything to stop it, it was up to Parker to face his inner demons.

The Holland household was starting to return to normalcy, at least what they called normalcy. Parker refused to leave his room for awhile. Staff and you would bring food up to his room each meal and take the untouched one from before. He was a shell of a person after the night. All the while Parker was getting over Charlotte, Rosie was getting under someone new.

Henry had been coming over frequently for two reasons. To comfort Parker in his time of need and to be with Rosie. Their love for each other blossomed rather quickly. Rosie was not one for big romantic gestures, but made an exception from Henry.

The day had come where Parker was to return to school. How could face all of them with the judgements and accusations. Charlotte’s death shook everyone to their very core, everyone was taking the news differently. It wasn’t common for the school community to lose on of their own. Maybe a teacher but never a student.

There were a multitude of mourners that ranged from the fake asses who say they knew her but didn’t, her former conquests who only saw her as a good fuck and her actual friends who were devastated. Posters were hung up and there were candles, teddy bears and “We miss you cards,” displayed all over her locker.

You drove them to school that morning, since Parker was still grounded. Arriving at school, all voices ceased to exist as the black Rolls Royce pulled up. Out jumped Parker and Rosie and all eyes shifted to them as they walked through the halls.

“Glad to see you are back Mr. Holland. You missed a few projects, you can make them up at a later time,” Ms. Erikson, Parker’s chemistry teacher, said. Parker just nodded in response.

Walking to his seat, he perfectly heard all the rumors being spread or was he supposed to. “I heard he was the one who killed her.” “I heard they were both at a gang bang” “I heard she died in his arms”. How could people be so insensitive to make snap judgements like that.

Charlotte’s parents’ opted for the cause of her death to remain hidden. But they were teenagers, they couldn’t help but, gossip. Rumors are just rumors, Parker would tell himself. They weren’t entirely wrong. He was the reason, he was there when it happened, and he held her as she died. Being in those hollowed halls was brutal. Parker was basically the new social pariah.

The student’s weren’t oblivious to the Holland family. They knew what most people knew. That Tom Holland owned one of the largest exporting companies in Europe, Holland Exportation and Luxuries. And they knew not to mess with the Hollands.

Once class was over, now came the hard work. Tom called it “Mobster Bootcamp,” Parker was currently taking lessons with his dad to carry on the legacy. Tom had a few tricks of the trade up his sleeve desperately wanting to pass on to his son. They had met in the Tom’s office to begin.

“Lesson 1: Always wear black or white.” Tom started with as Parker took notes, like the perfect student he is.

With one, blood will alter it completely and the other remains unchanged. It was a common theme, with the Holland legacy, wearing black or white. It was sleek, dangerous and classy all at the same time.

“The one big perk is that blood doesn’t show up on black fabric.”

“Lesson 2: Wives must be treated with respect, girlfriends are fair game."

“If you’re a good man, the only describable difference between a wife and girlfriend is that one has an unnecessary symbol on her ring finger. They both mean the same and don’t you forget it,” Tom concluded.

And Tom was a good man. Never has Tom even thought about cheating on you. Porn was pointless and strip clubs bored him. Why throw away the best thing that ever happened to him, you.

“Lesson 3: Someone brings a knife, you bring a gun” “Never be without a weapon. Anything can become a weapon with the right skill set, but always be prepared.”

Tom was a big fan of improvisation. Sometimes using what he had on hand, like his tie. Strangling wasn’t his most favorite method of killing but he liked to mix it up.

“Also find finesse in your kills. Your mother is a big believer in gun to the head, execution style. Me on the other hand, I prefer to roughen up a guy a bit, but you will eventually develop an M.O. (modus operandi). Another lesson, make sure you don’t always use the same M.O. mix it up a bit, otherwise they could trace it back to you,” Tom elaborated.

“That bring me to my next lesson.”

“Lesson 4: Blackmail is your best friend.”

Tom has had a few close calls in his day. Everything about running a mob had to be sneaky. Bodies couldn’t be found by any random person, they needed to be cleaned up and dealt with. The witness’s in a meeting were sworn into secrecy, he had enough dirt on them that he could get someone to fake their death if need be. Cops were never a problem with the Hollands. They were his puppets and he was the puppet master.

“Killing someone in a public place you risk being caught by an innocent bystander. Then one things leads to another and you are cleaning up two bodies instead of one.That’s why I have the warehouse and the police Captain in my pocket. Just remember everyone’s got a price,” Tom explained.

“Lesson 5: Have as little weaknesses as possible.”

Tom hated referring to the one’s he loved as weakness but it was the truth. He couldn’t be weak if he desired to be top dog. The moment you and Tom started a family, his liabilities increased. From that day, his only goal was to protect you and the twins.

“I would never call your mother a weakness, but I would die for her. Also for you and your sister. This makes me vulnerable. In the past, people have put her in danger situations for leverage against me.” Tom said, rubbing his temples. Parker just nodded in return. A long silence ensued.

“Dad, are you okay?” Parker questioned.

“Yeah. I’m sorry son, I have more for you but, just have a lot on my mind,” Tom apologized. “It’s alright. Any luck with finding Charlotte’s killer?” Parker asked, his voice tainted with hope.

“No, but I do have a meeting at the warehouse with a contact would you like to tag along?”

“How could I say no,” Parker said, kind of excitedly. They made their way out of the mansion and drove to the warehouse. Parker had never been here before. It was dark and cold looking. The walls were pure metal sheets and the floor had stains of blood scattered everywhere. “Good to see you, Jazz,” Tom said walking up to the mysterious woman tied to a chair. Jasmine Ramsey, a contract killer Tom was friends with. A little more than friends at one time, predating you.

“Fuck you, Tom. What’d I do to be graced with your presence,” questioned Jazz. “Nothing to piss me off, yet,” Tom chuckled. “Then why the fuck am I here,” she said a little peeved.

“My son, here, needs to ask you a few questions,” Tom said, pointing towards Parker who stood in the corner. “Aww a baby Holland. Following in your daddy’s footsteps, huh?” “Shut it, slag,” Parker yelled as he melded his fist with her jaw.

“Jesus. What the fuck was that for?” Jazz screeched. “Woah. Sorry Jazz, should’ve told him you were an old friend,” Tom says, holding his hands up in defense. “Oh, I’m so sorry miss. Could I get you some ice or something?” Parker exclaimed, surprised that he just punched an assassin.

“Its fine didn’t hurt that bad. Gotta work on your punch,” she said adjusting her jaw. “Really. Hurt like a bitch to me” Parker whispered, holding his aching hand. Blood began to seep out of the broken skin, staining his knuckles red. “Tommy you gotta tell your son to grow tougher skin” Jazz exclaimed. “What the fuck were you thinking Parker?” Tom said, grabbing Parker by the collar of his polo. “Sorry I just assumed with her being tied up and all” Parker exclaimed. “That’s how we do business boy. You’ll soon learn”Jazz explained with a shit-eating grin across her face.

“Anyway, I need info on a murder at The Luxe on the 11th. A young girl was involved.” Tom turned to Jazz.

“Oh I heard about that, poor girl, she was pretty too. What’s it to you, Holland?”

“That’s not important,” Tom hissed. “She was my girlfriend,” Parker interrupted.

“Sorry lover boy my hands are tied, literally,” Jazz said, rolling her eyes. “If I untie you will you talk?” Tom replied.

“Yes, you know me. I don’t appreciate being threatened.” “Alright Jazz, just spit it out.” Tom said as Parker untied her restraints. “I was downtown at pub, called Harmon’s. Heard of it?” Jazz expressed. “Yeah, a big hotspot for Shaw’s men,” Tom said, nodding his head as he followed along. “Well, I was searching for my target and overheard some men saying “It’s going down tonight, word from the Merchant is that he should be there, with his little whore.”” “Fuck. The Merchant. Where have I heard that?” Tom said, puzzled. “Short for Merchant of Death. Surely, you’ve heard the old mob tales.” Jazz elaborated.

“Of course.”

“Well if it is him, I’d stop looking you don’t want to find him,” she warned. “Please, everyone knows I’m fucking top dog,” Tom asserted. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch, Tommy. You are now, but he used to be and if he is returning, watch your back. All he craves is power. If that’s it I’ll be on my way.” Jazz explained, asking for permission to leave. “Yes of course, Jazz. Thanks.” Tom muttered. “Give my love to your wife,” she said, pressing a cheek to his kiss as she strutted out. “Seriously dad?” Parker asked with a side glare. “Parker stop it. I love your mother and I would never cheat on her. Jazz and I are just friends.” Tom explained creating a “I’m watching you” look on Parker’s face.

“Jesus, one punch ripped open your knuckles. You're the one telling mom. Now come on or we’ll be late for dinner,” Tom said, inspecting Parker’s hand. Being the new mob boss was in Parker’s blood, but you were always against it. You loved the mob and being part of it but you wanted your kids to have a choice, unlike you and Tom.

Meanwhile at the manor, you and Rosie were making dinner. You appreciated all the staff to clean and cook but, enjoyed the satisfaction when doing it yourself. Secretly loving your independence. While you were dating Tom, you would try to ditch your security much to Tom’s dismay. You were a junkie for thrills.

Rosie and your relationship is what ever mother desired. You treated Rosie like a daughter first and a best friend second. As long as Rosie’s life was never put in danger you would keep her secrets. The major one being Henry.

“Hey honey. Since it’s just us here, how are things going with Henry?” You asked curiously. “Wait, where’s dad and Parker?” Rosie questioned cause nobody else knew. “Taking care of some business. Now spill, I want all the details.” “Well things are going really great. We kissed.” “Really? When? Where?” You have always wanted to have this conversation with her daughter. “At the hospital when Parker was hurt. I had a panic attack and Henry comforted me. He is really great, mom. I don’t know I’ve just never felt this way before,” she explained. Rosie had boyfriends in the past, never long enough for anything serious to perspire.

“Roo if you’re ready to take that step, I’m here for you. You can tell me anything.”

“I’m okay, right now, considering”

“Considering what? Did something happen? Has Henry been pressuring you?” You grew concerned of your daughter. “No. God no, nothing like that. On the night of the party, I got drunk and remember that boy Connor?”

“Yes, go on.” “Well he… he tried to rape me.” Rosie murmured, trying not to cry. “What? Roo why didn’t you tell me,” you whispered, your heart breaking on behalf of Rosie. “Henry was there to stop it and I just want to forget about.” “Roo, I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. I’m always here for you ok? I love you so much baby.” “Love you too, mom” Rosie replied. Their conversation soon quickly ended as Tom and Parker came barging through the front door and Rosie excused her self to the restroom.

“Ooo, something smells good. What is my beautiful wife cooking?” Tom asked, coming up behind you and kissing your neck.

“The only thing she knows how to cook, spaghetti and meatballs,” you replied, jokingly.

“How was your guy’s day?” You asked. “Great, Parker really showed them,” Tom said, kissing your forehead and pulling you into a warm embrace.

“Jesus Parker, does it hurt?” you questioned as he showed her his battle scars.

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” Rosie said, walking back into the kitchen. “Oh nothing,” Parker said, trying to change the subject. Rosie just gave him a puzzling glare as she dropped the subject.

“Dinner’s ready,” you announced as they all made their way to the dining room. There they sat at the long table, Tom at the head of course and you to the right of him. You all talked about your day, of course, avoiding any mob talk.

“So what really happened to your hand” Rosie asserted breaking the silence. “Drop it. Will you?” Parker barked annoyed at her persistence. “Fine,” she said staring at her plate until her phone buzzed. That noise put a smile across her face because it was always the same person, Henry. “Roo, you know the rules. No phones at dinner,” you remarked. “I know mom, just give me one second,” replied Rosie, holding up a finger. “Rosie, your mother asked you to put it down. Who’s got you so giddy anyway.” Tom said, defending you.

“Oh nothing” Rosie muttered, putting her phone down. “Ten bucks it’s a boy” Tom said directed towards you. “Deal” you responded, shaking his hand. He brought her hand to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss, theirs loving way of shaking hands.

“I’m done. Dinner was great, thanks mom. May I be excused?” Parker asked and Tom nodded in response. Rosie cornered him on his way upstairs. It had been a while since they had talked. Sibling to sibling. Twin to twin. They tried not to keep secrets from each other. He hadn’t of told her about the mob and she hadn’t told him of her and Henry.

“Now tell me what the fuck you did to your hand,” Rosie barked, cornering him.

“Why the fuck do you want to know so bad?” Parker responded. “Umm, I’m your sister.”

“Rosie I don’t have time for your bullshit,” Parker yelled. “What the fuck happened? There’s something you aren’t telling me,” Rosie accused.

“Dad wants me to be the next him.” Parker explained. “I’m not following. What like run the company?” Rosie asked, confused by his statement.

“No. Dad is a mobster. He runs a mob and he wants me to succeed him.” “What the fuck? When did this happen? Why the fuck haven’t you told me?” Rosie exclaimed.

“Our birthday. This is what I was trying to tell you at the party!” Parker yelling causing Rosie to yell back. “Sorry, I was a little preoccupied and so were you!” Rosie hinting at Charlotte. “Don’t turn this on me. What the fuck are you doing with Henry, by the way? You think I don’t see the two of you sneaking around.” Parker quipped, in reality he had never seen their antics. “Nothing, it’s none of your business,” Rosie said, shying away from him. “Of course, it’s my business he’s my best friend.” “Well he is mine too and the world doesn’t revolve around you. If you weren’t so busy breaking curfew and sneaking out, you would see that Henry is really good to me, ever since that night.” Rosie explained stopping herself before she said something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge herself.

“Rosie, what happened?” Parker asked noticing her quick change in demeanor.

“You won’t care,” Rosie quipped.

“Try me,” Parker said softly.

“That night… someone slipped something in my drink and tried to take advantage of me, but Henry stopped it.” Rosie explained, trying to avoid the brute of Parker’s rage.

“Who? Tell me who right fucking now!”

“Connor.”

“I’m gonna kill him” “No, Henry already took care of it. You already have enough blood on your hands,” Rosie chuckled, surprised Parker cared that much. “Thanks,” he said with sarcasm.

“Roo, I’m so sorry. I should’ve known.” “It’s ok. I’m just trying to put it behind me”

“So what you are a mobster now?” “One in training. I need you to know I’m doing this for one reason only, to avenge Charlotte, okay. Not looking to kill for sport like mom and dad.”

Rosie’s suspicions grew over the years that her parents did enjoy living above the law. It didn’t bother her, she actually hoped the mantle would be passed on to her. She had a more fiery spirit than Parker, he was just a big softie on the inside much like his father. Appearances can be deceiving.

Tom was currently in his office, finishing up work for the night. Buzz, buzz, buzz. The last person he thought would call him, his dad.

“So are you going to say thanks?” asked Dom.

“For what? I don’t time for your antics, dad. A hit was hired on Parker and I have to figure out who did it.” Tom sighed. He was frustrated he was getting no where, who was the Merchant of Death. “Umm, hello. Like I said you’re welcome,” Dom quipped.

“You fucking mean that was you.”

“Duh, told you he needed a push in the right direction. I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger but I knew where he was.” “I have a crushed kid over here wanting revenge on the bastards who killed his girlfriend.” “Problem solved, glad he is joining the family business.” Dom said and hung up. How the fuck was Tom going to explain to Parker that his grandpa arranged the hit?

“FUCK!!” Tom screamed smashing everything in sight.

Meanwhile, Parker made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water when he saw you sitting on the couch, consumed in your book.

“Hey mom?” Parker asked, needing to get something off his chest. “Yeah, honey,” you responded, drawing your eyes away from your book. “I need to tell you something.”

“I’m listening… wait what the fuck was that. Hold that thought.” You hesitated when you heard a large crash come from Tom’s office.

“Let me go check on your father,” you said, getting up from the couch. Parker couldn’t help but be curious. He followed her before she closed the door and listened in, pressing his ear against the door.

“Tommy, what happened?” You queried. “It was him,” Tom spoke with an unchanging expression. “Who, Carson?” “No, Dom. He arranged the hit,” Tom said.

Parker’s heart sunk to his stomach. His girlfriend was dead because of his family. He really did kill her.

Maybe he wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger but she was seen with him. As far as he is concerned it painted a huge red target on her back. What kind of life was he born into? He never wanted any of this and now all he is, is this.

Guns, Glamour, and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland series #tom holland fanfic #tom holland mob au #tom holland au #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland blurb #mob!tom #mob tom #mob!tom holland #dad!mob!tom holland #mob!tom x mob!reader #mob!tom x reader #mob!tom holland x reader #dad!mob!tom

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lostatsea303 · 3 years

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Let’s Talk About The Finale

Hey guys before we talk about that last episode we’re going full spoiler in this post so if you haven’t seen it yet you may want to stop here

So I wanted to make this post after seeing so many different opinions on the content of this episode and I figured I could add my two cents in and hopefully bring some praise and constructive criticism from my point of view.

First let’s talk Directing, Choreography, and Acting

First off let’s tip our hats to the VAs this episode they all did an amazing job! Elizabeth Maxwell, Miles Luna, and Taylor McNee all deserve recognition for being standouts in an episode where everyone nailed their parts.

In terms of choreography I think this met the RWBY standard. The Ironwood and maiden fights were top notch and while the RWB fight against Cinder and Neo felt a little off I think this was intentional; Team RWBY has been fighting and without rest for nearly 24 straight hours, they’re going to be slow and tired.

Directing I thought was very solid. There are some great shots I want to highlight in fact:

I think all these shots are excellent and there are a few more I’ll be using later. Directing and lighting has been something I think this volume has done exceedingly well! However there is one scene I think fell short.

This kinda looks like a meme doesn’t it? This moment completely took me out of the moment and I was wondering why. It’s not because of Harriet’s action’s I think she was sick of physically fighting and just wanted everyone to leave so she could die going down with the ship. No, I realized it was this shot: if this sequence had a close up of Qrow struggling against the weight of the bomb and cut back to another close up of Harriet yelling where you could see the desperation on her face (cause CRWBY did a great job with facial animation) it would work. Instead the framing, drab lighting, and stillness really hurt this scene.

Outside of this one scene however, I think this was a stellar finale in terms of production value!

WRITING

Overall I thought this was another good episode for the writers. Character dialogue was on point:

“You chose nothing, this was a gift”

“Whatever you wanted, I hope it was worth it.”

“I’ve only done what’s best for Remnant, and no one is grateful.”

And of course the whole Cinder and Salem interaction.

The events within the episode, I think, were all very good choices but there are two in particular I want to focus on:

The Sacrifice

I’m gonna talk about this first because I know this is where there is the most division right now and understandably so. We all love Penny, she has always been one of the purest characters within the show. That is why her death, even so shortly after she became human, is not only the right decision but a good one.

When you think about it Penny and Pyrrha are very similar characters: Morally upright, strong, and viewed as paragons amongst their peers. Pyrrha was chosen to be Vale’s Guardian and Penny was the protector of Mantle. They were people who always did the right thing for everyone else. However, their journey’s, not as people within the show but characters within a piece of art, would always require them to meet their end.

Penny’s development was never about her learning what it was like to be a “real girl” because she already got that from being friends with Ruby. Her development was based around one of the key themes of this show: choice and control

RWBY has always focused on the question of who do we choose to be and what do we let control us. Penny rarely had a choice, and was always in danger of losing her control to someone else. At Beacon she was at Ironwood’s behest, in this season Watts had control over her in spurts. She was always in a battle to decide who she would be, and this was shown literally in the show with the fight between the virus and her soul. So when she became human she completed the biggest step in her journey of development: she no longer had any strings.

And she finally got to feel the warmth of the heart.

And that left her character development at an end. She had already learned what it meant to live, she finally got to experience the physical side of it, and finally she couldn’t be controlled again.

So when faced with the threat of someone taking away her control (Cinder) the completion of her character arc comes with her making the choice that Ruby didn’t earlier. But this time she was at peace with it, because she wasn’t dying because she had to due to an uncontrollable circumstance. No, now she chose to give her friend’s a chance, give Remnant hope in a new Winter maiden, and take from the enemy what they once took from her.

She chose.

While this completes her character arc it also develops everyone else’s which leads us into our final section

The Separation

We all knew that they were going to fall, you don’t have foreboding lines like “Do not fall” and not explain why.

But now all of the events have culminated in a perfect storm for our characters next season. Here’s what I mean:

This finale, especially with Penny’s sacrifice sets up every single character in this show for major developments. Starting from the outside:

Winter now has to learn to be a leader, not just a soldier anymore. She has to unlearn the years of regimenting and oppression that she’s been a part of.

Ren and Nora get to truly figure out who they are: There will be no team leaders among them, they will have to become them.

Oscar and Ozpin have to become the heroes that the former has always wanted to be and the latter always had other to become.

Qrow continues to learn to deal with loss and how even in spite of it he can keep moving forward and that the pains of the past can push him to better instead of holding him down.

Neo will learn what family is supposed to be, and coming to understand forgiveness for the things others do.

Jaune has to come to grips with the reality of being a hero and that sometimes the best choices we can make for others are the ones that cost the most of us.

Ruby will have to face not only another close loss in her life but she’ll have to learn about sacrifice and the unfortunate necessity of it. She’s been surrounded her whole life with people making the choice to sacrifice for her: Summer, Yang, Qrow, Weiss, and now Penny. She’s going to have to face Jaune making the choice she wouldn’t (Not to say that situation called for it but understanding the differences in those situations) and understanding that sometimes people have to go. While we should always do our best to save everyone we can, sometimes running away from the grief in our lives can creating greater loss than if we face it when we have to.

Weiss has to learn to let go of control. She tried to protect and save everyone but in the end she was the last one from her team left. We’ve subtly seen through out this volume, and really the last couple of them if we’re being honest, Weiss always trying to be moderate within the team and be the glue and protector of the team as a whole. She’s always trying to be the best teammate she always promised to be but that has made her terrified to fail and in the end it’s stopped her from reaching her full potential. It’s a noble thing she does, but she’s so beholden to the expectations of other’s (now her friends instead of her family) that it secludes her. We’ve seen moments of her true strength when she focuses and trusts herself but she still hasn’t fully gotten there.

Blake is the flipside to Weiss, she needs to learn to take control. She’s still held down by the fear of being what Adam said she was that she won’t take the step forward. Whether this be with her relationship to Yang or even in situations like the one we saw in the second to last episode frozen and unsure how to proceed at the end. She tries to play it safe because of what she’s gone through. But Penny’s sacrifice and when she thought she lost Yang will push her.

Yang has already learned to necessity of sacrifice but she has to learn that not every situation requires it. Put simply she has to learn what she means to the others. Yang has always been the first to throw herself in the line of fire for others and take the risk when it’s time. But she’s never thought about how she affects others with her sacrifice. Penny’s loss may initially affirm her current view but she will have to come to face that Penny’s sacrifice happened only when absolutely necessary and when it was best for everyone else. Yang needs to know she’s worth more than what she can do for other people.

CONCLUSION

Honestly guys this was alot and if you read all this way thank you! I’m sure some people will disagree with some of my thoughts and that’s totally ok! In the end we’re all fans, and we all care alot about this show.

See you guys next season!

#rwby volume 8 spoilers #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby

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hanniiesuckle17 · 4 years

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Little Stars

A/n: THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR 1.5K!!! THISMEANS SO MUCH TO ME SO HERES A LITTLE IMAGINES I WROTE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD THAN K YUO GUYS AGain

(this is way longer than I thought it would be! also not edited lol sorry)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: maybe like one or two curse words, sexual tension??

Summary: Y/n is an up and coming artist. The problem is her collection deadline is one past up and coming. Lacking motivation since the job was assigned she is stuck the day before her deadline with no paintings or photos and thoroughly depressed. That is until shes see inspiration outside her window. Inspiration by the name of Lee Felix.

Genre: Fluff, strangers to ‘lovers’,

✧

Empty. My brain was empty. I had two months. Two months to come up with a small exhibit for a local gallery I was signed to. Two months. For five paintings. Or photos. Or both. TOO MANY DECISIONS. Decisions...granted I should have made...two months ago.

I sat near the biggest window in my apartment. Sunlight streamed through the glass, casting a natural glow on the stark white canvas. I just needed a theme. A subject. I know! I could do a five-part exhibition on tea kettles!

“Oh for pete’s sake, I’m going crazy,” I said head in my hands.

I can’t paint teapots. Flowers are overdone. What the hell am I supposed to paint? This exhibition was a huge deal. I had nothing and my deadline was tomorrow night.

That’s it. I’m done. My short career is finished. I should just throw away all my paints and pencils and chalk and coal and trash all the canvases that littered my apartment. I glanced at my phone which sat a few feet away from me on a small wooden table littered with tubes of paint and jars filled with brushes and blades covered in paint.

An hour had passed and I still had yet to touch my brush to the canvas. Groaning, I rested my forehead against the linen canvas. “Come on, Y/n. Search your artsy soul for inspiration.” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I tried to imagine the canvas being filled by something beautiful. Something worthy of love and legacy. Something that could burn a hole in my life and set it on fire. Something to ignite my passion again.

When I opened them, of course, the canvas was still empty and my brain was too.

With the thousandth aggravated sigh of the hour, I sat up and looked out the huge window near me. My eyes caught on a flash of blonde hair. Down on the street, a boy with light hair and bright eyes was bouncing along with two other boys. They were joking around and laughing, as people who’s entire job wasn’t on the line would do. For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

All of a sudden I could see the brush strokes of his hair on my canvas. The delicate lines of his eyes. I needed to paint him.

I launched myself out of the chair and rushed to the door. My feet took the stairs two at a time and I jumped the last three before sprinting out onto the street. My head turned in all directions trying to find the boy I saw from my window. Once again, I found his blonde mop bouncing and laughing down the street, away from my apartment.

“Hey!” I called out, running to catch up.

Good grief boys walk fast. “Hey! You! With the blonde hair!” At my words, the three boys turned around, astonished someone was running at them. After a few words, the boys started running away. “No! Wait! I need to talk to the Blonde Guy!” I yelled out of breath. Desperate, I ran after them. Thankfully they turned down an alley only a few feet away that I knew was a dead end.

I put my hands on my knees catching my breath. The three boys stared at me a little fearful. “Look, I just need to talk to Goldilocks. I saw him from my window and there was just something about you. It inspired me.”

“Well... yeah. We’re kind of famous. We get that a lot.” The boy with doe-like eyes and dark, almost black hair said like it was obvious. The boy with blonde hair elbowed him in the stomach making the other laugh.

“You’re famous?” I asked, finally standing upright. They looked between each other surprised.

“You don’t know who we are?” The youngest looking asked. He reminded me of a fox I painted once. “Sorry. We thought you were a crazy fan.” To be honest I hadn’t really been keeping up with the news or popular things lately. I had been holed up in my apartment trying to paint. “We’re from a group called Stray Kids. I’m Jeongin. The rude guy is Jisung, and that’s Felix.”

My eye immediately darted to the boy now known to me as Felix. “Felix...” I said looking him over. He was even more entrancing up close. He had soft sun spots dancing across his cheeks and nose that brightened up his face. Freckles. How cute. How different.

“Yeah...what’s your name?”

“Uh- I’m Y/n, Y/n L/n.”

Jeongin’s eyes widened. “Hyung! Isn’t she that painter that Hyunijn likes? He dragged us to that gallery last year to see her stuff.” Jisung nodded and looked from me back to Felix. “Our friend loves your stuff. He made us take a bunch of pictures of him in front of it.”

“Oh, that’s awesome.” I couldn’t take my eyes off Felix, and he noticed.

“Do you think we could like buy a painting off you? That would shut him up for like a solid six months.” Jisung said pulling out his wallet. “How much are we talking?”

“For something I have with me? Not in a gallery? Probably like....Fifteen.” I said, still quite distracted. My imagination was spiraling out of control with how I wanted to paint the boy in front of me. How I wanted to capture his image. Photograph him.

“Fifteen bucks? Great! That’s awes-”

“Fifteen hundred.”

Felix burst into laughter as the look on Jisung’s face fell. His hand was frozen, extended out in front of him, already prepared to give me fifteen dollars. My heart skipped a beat watching Felix’s bright grin. He practically glowed.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll let you choose any painting you want from my apartment and I’ll sign it for...Hyunjin, was it?” The boys nodded. “I’ll give it to you if Felix will help me finish my new exhibition. It shouldn’t take long. I’ll even-”

“Sure.”

Felix shrugged with a small smile, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked me over with a soft and happy gaze. It seemed I intrigued him as much as he intrigued me.

“My apartment is just around the corner.”

“Cool. Just a heads up, I’ve never modeled except for like album jackets and stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The closer he got, the harder it was not to smile. Jisung and Jeongin were joking behind us, something about Felix finally getting into a pretty girl’s apartment, but it all kind of faded away as I walked back with Felix. I felt the passion to paint again burning in my stomach.

✧

Felix patiently waited as I opened the door to my apartment. When we entered I hastily cleaned up some random junk cluttering the counters as he looked around. There was nothing I could do about the multiple canvases lying in stacks all around the living room.

“Wow. You are really good.” He said looking at a large canvas painted with bright and happy colors near my kitchen. Why did the compliment feel different coming from him?

“Thank you very much. I’ve had a bit of a dry spell recently.”

“For how long?”

“Give or take three months.”

Felix chuckled and looked at the other paintings near him. While he explored my art-filled apartment, I set up my camera on a tripod near the window and adjusted the position of my easel. “So, how is this gonna work?”

“Um...I’m not entirely sure. I’ve never been inspired like this before. I really have no idea what medium I’ll end up using...so I’m sort of using...all of them.” Felix laughed again watching me frantically prepping everything I could possibly need. I didn’t miss the lingering stares he cast my way.

“We’re doing photos? Should I like put on a base or something?”

“NO!” He was a little shocked at my outburst. He probably wasn’t used to being photographed without makeup. “Sorry. I just- I don’t want you covered up. I want to paint everything. Everything about you.” I looked to see a shy blush on Felix’s face as he came to stand near me by the window.

“So, I sit here?” He motioned to the windowsill, overlooking the street on which I discovered him. The light hit him perfectly, bouncing of his cheekbones and practically giving him a halo.

I nodded quietly and adjusted a few settings on my camera before returning to my easel. Felix looked at me with a smile. I laughed seeing he was trying to pose and stay very still.

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll ask you to be still if I need to.”

The sound of the camera clicking filled the apartment as Felix watched me paint him. The lines came easy to me as if I had painted him many times before. He watched as I painted the lines of his face and his eyes quickly appeared on the canvas, staring back at me just like he was.

“Do you want some music? This will take a while. I’ve got five pieces to do.” Felix chuckled, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down and his eyes crinkling into crescent moons.

“Music would be wonderful.” With a smile, I shoved my wet paintbrush behind my ear, streaking my cheek and possibly my hair, and shuffled over to turn on my stereo. Felix let a curious grin slip onto his lips. “Classical?”

“Do you like it? It helps me focus.” He nodded and looked out the window. His eyes closed as the sound of soft violins floated through the apartment. “So, Felix, what’s your favorite book.” He was a little shocked at the random question, but that happy smile returned.

“Ummm...let’s see,” While he thought I continued painting, the basics of his face and form already done. I quickly painted the window and background so I could go back to focusing on the shadows and details of Felix’s face. My hands worked quickly, shading in the dark patches behind the cushions and curtains.

“Peter Rabbit.”

“Like the kid’s book?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing! It’s just different. I knew there was something special about you.” I said with a laugh, grabbing a smaller brush and looking at the shadows behind Felix. He tilted his head, resting it on the window.

“Why did you pick me?”

The movement of my brush stopped. My eyes met the dark brown stare Felix held. He smirked noticing the heat rushing to my cheeks. “I thought you looked like a shooting star.” His eyebrows rose and he tried not to laugh.

“That’s quite the artist's answer.”

“Well, I am an artist.”

He chuckled and started playing with the edge of his sleeve. “So, a shooting star?” Again, I blushed. The painting was almost finished I just needed to finish the details of his eyes and cheeks. “Yeah. I don’t know. You just seemed so full of life. Something fleeting. Something...ephemeral.”

“Ephemeral? As in not lasting? What am I supposed to turn into dust after you’ve finished with me?” He laughed, his eyes crinkling. My eyes trailed down his cheeks to look at the stars dancing across his skin. The freckles scattered about his cheeks. Delicately, I began placing each and every spot as Felix told me about his life.

“It’s finished.”

“Can I see?” He said jumping up from the window sill. I shook my head and grabbed the still wet canvas. “Come on, Y/n! Let me see!” He chased me around the living room trying to carefully grab the painting. I laughed when his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me to him.

“You can see it when the collection is complete! We have more art to make!” He laughed and let me place the painting away to dry. Together we walked over back to the window and he sat back down, watching me expectantly.

I scanned through the photos the camera captured. They were fantastic. They were the perfect candids. I could edit these into black and white and it would be gorgeous. Felix came to look over my shoulder. He gasped at the pictures.

“How the hell did you do that?” Felix gently took the camera and scrolled through the pictures. “Seriously. You were busy painting. How did you do this?” I shrugged and cleaned some of my brushes while he looked through the photos.

“Sometimes it is not about the angle or the position. It’s just what the subject is doing or feeling.” I took the camera and scrolled to a certain picture. “Like this one.” Felix looked at the picture. It was him leaning against the window, his eyes crescents and aimed somewhere off frame. “Do you know when this was?” He shook his head and looked to me.

“When I called you a shooting star.” Felix looked at the photo again, seeing it in a new light.

“So, what’s next?”

I felt so close to Felix. Like I had known him for years. Had it really only been a few hours? My eyes traced the lines of his shoulders and back. The perfect canvas.

“Can I...paint on you?”

His eyes widened for a millisecond and he let out a breathy laugh. “Have you done it before?” I shrugged and wiped my paint stained hands on my jeans. When I looked up he had moved a little closer.

“I’ve never really wanted to. Like I said, I don’t want to capture your image...covered up. It should be seen naturally.”

Felix smiled. “So, where are we doing this?” He said softly. My heart thumped against my chest. I pointed to an open space on the wood floor and he nodded. I grabbed some body paints I had lying around in a cabinet and brought them over to Felix.

“Let me know if anything gets uncomfortable and I’ll stop.” He nodded and slipped his shirt over his head. I motioned for him to lie on his stomach and he followed my instruction. Felix shivered when his tan skin touched the cool wood floor.

“What got you into painting?” Felix asked, resting his head on his arms. I picked out the brush I wanted to start with. My palm rested on his shoulder as the brush hovered over his back.

“I’m not really sure. You see...I really sucked at math.”

Felix let out the largest laugh, one that shook his whole chest. I took the opportunity to start painting. Soon his lower back was filled with swirling colors of blues and purples. “Is everything okay?” Felix asked, interrupting his own story.

“Yeah, just an awkward angle.”

“You can adjust if you want to. I don’t mind.” My skin started to crawl when Felix turned to me in the eye. Like he was inviting me to come even closer to him. He smiled at the blush on my cheeks before turning his head away. Hesitantly, I situated myself above Felix, slowly resting some of my weight on the lowest part of his back possible. I saw him smile when he felt my knees on either side of his hips.

Felix continued his story about something one of his friends named Chan did the other night. The sound of his low voice mixed with the music still playing guided my brush like it had a mind of its own. When I looked at my work, a nebula with hundreds of little stars was born onto his skin.

“I think it’s done.”

Carefully, I got off of Felix and helped him up. I set the camera up again and it started taking pictures. Taking Felix’s hand I pulled him in front of the lens and positioned him with his back towards the camera. He watched me as I positioned his body, my hands unintentionally lingering on his shoulders.

Felix turned to me as I began to pull away. “I didn’t know art could be so intimate.” I looked down to see his hand on my arm, his body was slightly turned at the waist towards me and his eyes bore into mine. Never had I felt this passionate about something other than art. I liked Felix. A lot. More than I should admit after just meeting the man. “Is it supposed to be like this?”

I shook my head, hoping he wouldn't notice I stepped closer. “No,” His hand slid around the base of my back. “Maybe you are a shooting star. I couldn’t have wished for something this incredible.” He smiled and looked down at me.

“Can I kiss you? Sorry...I just-”

“You really didn’t have to ask.” Felix, let out a small laugh, almost a giggle, making me smile. My fingers traveled up his neck and into the edge of his blonde hair. “Well, are you gonna do it or are you gonna chicken out, Felix?”

“Oh shh.”

His lips tasted like strawberries. He was gentle and slow, like he was savoring every moment. When he pulled away I rested my forehead against his. “I do not regret putting off my work until the last minute.” He laughed, his eyes brightening and lighting up the whole room.

✧

Standing in the gallery felt like a second home. My exhibition hung on the wall .It was one of my greatest yet. The gallery had given me an extension after seeing the semi-finished product. A group of rowdy boys walked towards me, a familiar and handsome face leading them.

“Y/n!” He called, running up and greeting me with a kiss. The other seven boys followed after him. One of the taller ones hung towards the back clearly nervous.

“You must be Hyunjin?” I asked reaching for his hand. His eyes widened and he shook my hand vigorously. His sharp features lifted into a grin and he laughed. “You might want to let go of my hand eventually.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’m just such a big fan.”

“I know. Felix has told me all about you. I’ve got a painting signed for you in my car.” Hyunjin’s jaw dropped and I swear he almost fell backwards had Jisung not been there to catch him.

“So, what is your collection called?” The boy Felix pointed out to me as Chan asked. Felix proudly wrapped an arm around my waist as I guided the group to the first piece.

“It’s called Little Stars.” Felix, blushed when I lightly pinched his cheek. The boys marveled at the first painting. It was one of Felix sitting in my window. It was the only piece in color. We moved on to the second piece. The photo I had shown Felix of him smiling.

The next photo was a frame I had cropped to show just his eyes. Even in black and white Felix still managed to bring color and life with just a single look. “Wow, Felix! I had no idea you were this cool looking!” Minho said, marveling at the photograph. Felix kicked him as we moved forward.

The second to last photo showed the painting I did on Felix’s back. He was completely turned away from the camera, but you could see my hands on his shoulder and waist. I had edited the photo so just my hands and arms were seen. Felix smiled and kissed the top of my head before the both of us led the group to the exhibit finale.

“DAMN FELIX!” Jisung yelled.

“Jisung. We are in an art gallery. Don’t yell.” Chan scolded.

“Sorry, but Felix got game.”

I laughed and looked at the photo; it was my favorite. Felix was half turned towards me but you could still see the nebula and stars on his back, his hand was gripping my waist tightly and he smiled down at me, our foreheads pressed together. You could see my fingers pulling away from the base of his hair, giving movement to the photo.

“This is incredible, Y/n.”

“Well, it’s all you so I should say so.” He kissed my cheek with that bright smile of his. “You really are my shooting star. I’m getting everything I could ever wish for.”

✧

Requests are open, my lovelies!

Masterlist

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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 3 years

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God of War (PS4) Review: Kratos’ Postal Grief Beard Versus Norse Mythology

Once upon a time, a man was born by the name of Cory Barlog and thus a coin was flipped. Would he become a videogame developer or would he take up guarding the Mines of Moria by pulling wizards into a precipice? Those really are the only two options with a name like Barlog. Anyway, apparently the Mines of Moria were a bit of a commute, so the world gained a talented Auteur developer with a unique vision for a game series about going postal in ancient Greece. Fast-foward a number of years specifically calculated to make you feel old and ancient Greece is a distant memory. Norse mythology is where all the cool kids hang out nowadays, and that’s where we’re going in today’s review.

As you might have guessed, I’ve just finished playing God of War (PS4), which is fun to say because it rhymes. It’s a very good game that should be a very bad game. When considering modern media artefacts, I’m often prompted to ask the question ‘what went so wrong?’, but this may be the first time I’ve had to ask the question ‘what went so right?’.

Let me explain: God of War 4 (I don’t care that they don’t put the number on the box art, that’s what it fucking is) makes a single, monumentally stupid creative decision that should ruin the entire enterprise, but doesn’t. And that creative decision was- wait for it- a stab at maturity.

The last time we saw Kratos- the world’s angriest mythical being- he was finishing his battle with the Greek gods in God of War 3. There was a moment in that game which, to me, typified what was so great about the series. If I recall the sequence of events correctly, you kill your way through an ocean of expendable goons and critters who are just trying to defend their home on Mount Olympus, dripping with blood and screaming furiously, then wander into the bedroom of one of ancient Greece’s sauciest goddesses and play a sex minigame that you win by fucking her so well that her handmaids orgasm too. Then you toddle outside again and, head cleared, solve an incredibly complex and cerebral puzzle involving non-Euclidean geometry and perspective manipulation that takes bloody ages. That, in a nutshell, was the core identity of the original God of War: a gleefully unrestrained and immature approach to sex and violence coupled with a grouchy willingness to make unsuspecting players feel like fucking idiots for no reason whatsoever. It was awesome. In contrast, God of War 4 picks up many, many years later with Kratos hiding out in Midgard of the Norse mythos and, for once, he hasn’t got a nark on and he’s not trying to stick his cock in someone with cartoonishly huge knockers. He’s just sad because his missus has passed away, leaving him and their young, impressionable son alone in a big, scary world full of trolls and ginger psychopaths. ‘Sad’ isn’t a completely new emotion for Kratos, but, up until this point, he was usually sad in a way that resulted in five hundred people getting their spines broken in a very colourful manner. Now he just wants to cremate the remains of the woman he loved and carry her ashes to the tallest peak in the nine realms so he can scatter her in accordance with her final wishes. And that’s what he does, with son- Atreus- in tow. It’s a twenty-plus hour game in which the objective is very simply to honour someone’s preferred funeral rites- nothing more, nothing less. It’s very modest by Kratos usual standards. Remember that his stated goal in the previous game was to punch freakin’ Zeus so hard that his face would go all concave and then repeatedly stamp on his corpse.

We never actually find out much about what Kratos was up to between games or how he met his wife. However, he’s a bit thiccer than in previous instalments and seems to have lost the use of the ‘jump’ button outside of context-sensitive environments. On that evidence, I choose to believe he’s been running a small but successful family restaurant called ‘Kratos’ Potatoes’ and enjoying it all a bit much. And why not? He beat up Zeus- if he just wants to create and sample homely yet exotic Greco-Norse fusion cuisine while growing a ridiculous straggly dad-beard, I say let him crack on. Actually, is it a ‘dad beard’ or is it a ‘grief beard’? I think they send them to videogame characters in the post whenever a loved one dies so they can signal to the world how sad they are through the medium of angsty facial hair. But where was? Oh yeah: cracking on with it.

Y’see this is where the plot comes in: the Norse gods won’t let Kratos crack on. They’re determined to make him bow before Odin- especially Baldur, who is way too invested in having a fight with Kratos for reasons that won’t become apparent until very late in the game. They just keep turning up and trying to break Kratos and his increasingly like-him-but-not-as-good-at-it son Atreus. This time around, our heroes commit heinous acts of violence to defend themselves, not enact revenge, as they travel, inexorably, to the top of a lonely mountain through landscapes of stunning natural beauty and many, many hostile creatures.

Of course, Kratos taking his son on a hiking holiday with added troll-murder and the occasional slap-fight with Norse mythology’s biggest killjoys doesn’t sound as interesting as the original games. After all, those were basically a production of Kill Bill in which the part of Bill was played by a guy with the power to summon lightning bolts and access to a seemingly unstoppable army of monsters and demigods. The ‘fun factor’ even seems to have taken another downgrade, in that Kratos no longer operates with the entertainingly demented passion of the insane: he has been tempered by time and love and managed to turn himself into a paragon of serious self control. So why is God of War 4 so bloody good? Partly, I suspect, the answer lies in the constantly evolving relationship between Kratos and Atreus, which gives the story an unbelievable amount of heart and always manages to feel very organic. Kratos never learned how to be a parent, and we essentially watch him do it in real time, forming a bond with his son that seems impossible at the start of the game and inevitable by the end. Partly, the games greatness lies in the characters you meet along the way, who range from bickering dwarves to talking, decapitated heads who prattle on like laid-back tour-guides. Partly, it’s in the beautiful, epic landscapes that make the journey across the Realms to the highest peak feel epic and significant, even while it is small and personal.

But a videogame is nothing without gameplay, and it is here that God of War 4 really shines. I loved the original God of War trilogy (especially the third instalment), but I rarely felt like I was playing as, y’know, a god of war. Kratos might not be an uncontrollable whirlwind of fury any more, but he feels truly powerful for the first time in the ongoing series. In fights, every punch feels like it could crack stone; every axe-throw like it could rend the sky; every chain-whip like it could legitimately start a forest-fire. Out of combat, Kratos moves around the environment with the stolid grace of a man who knows his movements are inevitable; irresistible; an imposition on the environment that can’t be denied. You climb and complete elaborate, complex traversals knowing that the satisfaction you feel isn’t just the satisfaction of finding the correct route or solving an obstacle, but the satisfaction of a being forcing his way through a landscape that resists him at every turn but cannot stop him. The puzzles- of which there are many- strike the perfect balance between conceptual trickiness and ease of execution to remind you that Kratos is smart as well as determined; that his mind is as indomitable as his body. Then there are the little touches involving heaving huge stone pillars and similar unnecessarily over-the-top efforts. In short, the gameplay is interwoven with who Kratos is- with what he is in way that seems completely unprecedented. Even the RPG elements feel appropriate: they reflect the protagonist’s growing confidence in a skillet he hasn’t used in a long, long time.

Do I miss the uniquely juvenile, over the top identity of the old games? Absolutely: I’m a great fan of gratuitous gore and scantily clad women with big fuck-off swords. Usually, I find the desire for maturity in games to be a silly, pretentious trend that foolishly eschews anything obviously ‘fun’ for no reason other than courting the respect of people whose respect isn’t worth having. But I don’t think that’s what’s going on here- at least, not entirely. The developers of the God of War games are clearly artisans and craftsmen of extreme talent: their attention to detail is superb and their ability to weave a good tale from a simple premise is actually a little daunting for someone who considers himself a bloody good story-teller. It’s worth remembering that the de facto head of the studio, Barlog, became a father himself before commencing work on this game about a father learning to bond with his son. It feels personal and meant because it is. Other games might reach for superficially mature themes like family and redemption for altogether cynical reasons. God of War 4 does it because such thoughts are clearly much on the developer’s mind. I asked already ‘Do I miss the identity of the old games?’ and the answer is still yes. But that question deserves a follow-up: am I willing to embrace the identity of this new, quieter God of War anyway? And yes, yes I am.

But if we could have a few more women with enormous knockers and Kratos going properly batshit just once or twice in the next sequel, that would also be welcome. I mean, let’s try to strike a balance here, people, for pity’s sake.

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #God of War #God of War 4 #god of war sequel #Kratos #Zeus #norse mythology #greek mythology #videogames #game review #games

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rimalovegood · 4 years

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Pokemon AU: The Seven Brothers as Pokemon trainers

A few years ago I made a similar set of headcanon’s for the MysMe characters and what kind of team they’d had if they were pokemon trainer and to this day it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written so I decided to do something similar for the Obey Me! characters.

(Since Tumblr hates links I’ll later reblog this with the source I used for the trainer ID’s but the Deviantart user is on each picture anyways)

Elite four member Lucifer wants to fight…

-The last and most powerful member of the Elite four, if you want to challenge Diavolo you have to very literally go through him and he has a team to be feared.

-Hydreigon and Houndoom are loosely based on Cerberus so I think they fit him very well, also they are known to be very aggressive when defied, just like Lucifer.

-Oricorio was a gift from Diavolo, he was really exicited about the idea of having matching pokemon with Lucifer and Barbatos and he chose the sensu form because it’s elegancy reminded him of Lucifer.

-Speaking of elegancy Persian and Tsareena are elegant royalty-like pokemon that give a prideful aura which fits Lucifer pretty well.

-Salamence it’s a little more difficult to explain. For this headcanon I asked friends that are pokemon fans but know nothing about otomes which pokemon reminded them of the deathly sins and the answer for pride was Salamence… at first I didn’t see it but the earlier stages of Salamence’s only wish it’s flying so on their final stage when it finally can fly there are proud of their wings. Also I can see Lucifer Salamence as reminder of his grief, a pokemon who left the ground and went into the sky for the angel that fell from there.

Elite four member Mammon wants to fight…

-he thinks being an Elite Four member is too much work but is also very proud of being one of the top trainers of the Devildom... just a little salty about being the first member thought; he knows he cannot beat Lucifer or Barbatos but surely he can beat Simeon, can’t he? (no, he can’t)

-His ace, Crobat is based a lot on how he is defined as a character. Zubat is a pokemon that’s usually looked down on and is often associated with evil teams but how does it evolves to Crobat and becomes it’s most powerful self? Throught friendship…and idk that reminds me a lot of Mammon.

-Sableye and Meowth are based on his sin. Sableye is known for tealing jewel (a very good companion for the avatar of greed) and Meowth is supposed to attract money.

-We all know this guy is a gambler and nobody can beat him at gambling, well, what’s the biggest prize you can get on pokemon casino on the older games? Yes, Porygon.

-Slowbro ended up on his team somewhat by accident, Mammon heard slowpoke tails were considered a delicatessen and not only that they grew back afterwards so he saw having one as a good investment….the problem was that just after he caught his slowpoke a Shellder attacked them and bit Slowpoke’s tail making it evolve into Slowbro.

-Scrafty has a similar aesthetic and it’s quick to get into fights, I figured out it would go well with Mammon.

Gym Leader Leviathan wants to fight…

-The water type gym leader, he is famous for the complex riddles every challenger must answer before even getting the chance to fight him.

-Has an old rivalry with Mammon and low key believes he should be on the elite four on his place

- As you might have guessed Seviper and Goldeen are inspired on Henry 1.0 and 2.0; he loves all his team but these two are the ones he had had for the longest and his favorites.

-Toxapex is basically Levi in pokemon form, a water/poison pokemon that when threatened hides on their shell and sends poison around, much like how Levi hides from the world on his room and acts all tsundere.

-For Levi raising one of the weakest pokemon into Gyarados was like farming on one of his MMORPGs and as he would do on one of those he completely outdid himself to the point it became his most powerful pokemon and the one every trainer fears whenever they enter his gym.

- Both Skrelp and Tentacruel are poison and water types and fit his character aesthetic pretty well (If you guessed the other reason why I chose Tentacruel you are reading too much Levi fancfiction….And I’m too)

Gym Leader Satan wants to fight…

-The leader of the Psychic type gym. His gym is themed around an escape room and only the ones who can solve the mystery can challenge the leader.

-Before becoming a gym leader he traveled through a lot of regions learning all he could about pokemon so his team includes species he caught on a bunch of different places.

-the psychic type is often associated with intelligence and knowledge so I think it fits him well.

-There is no much to say about Galarian rapidash, it’s a psychic unicorn. He had to have one.

-Alakazam is known to be more intelligent than humans, a fitting partner for someone who believes knowledge is power

-Grumpig and Darmanitan are inspired on his sin. Grumpig has very powerful psychic power that he unleash upon angered and Darmanitan is a very calm pokemon when he is on zen mode but unleash all his wrath when it goes into blaze mode.

-Satan it’s not only book smart, he is also an adventurer so of course he’d feel attracted to the mysterious Sigilyph usually found on ancient ruins and inspired on the Nazca lines.

-the last member of the team was a little more difficult to pick. Gallade is basically a white knight which is a weird thing to call a demon but if there is one that can act as one that’s Satan

Gym Leader Asmodeus wants to fight…

-Fairy type gym leader, he is also part time a contest trainer and he is really good at it.

-of course he only surrounds himself by pokemon as beautiful as himself.

-Asmo’s personality is based on the duality between his sweet and beautiful exterior and his darker side he keeps well hidden. Most of his pokemon show this but particularly Mimikyu, a pokemon that in its desire to be loved takes the appearance of the famous Pikachu.

-Hatterene just like Asmo has power over people’s feelings and on it’s design it reminds me so much of Asmo I had to make it his ace.

-Aromatisse is a pokemon based on perfume, cancan dancers and plague doctors. It likes being the center of attention as much as Asmo, so they’d get along well

-Shiinotic, Mawile and Gliscor represent his most dangerous side, not for nothing his animal is an scorpion. Both Shiinotic and Mawile are pokemon that are beautiful to look at but if you get too close you’d get either poisoned or biten…and well, Gligar is a literal scorpion (Sorry, the plot doesn’t give us much to work wih on this side, Asmo’s content tent to focus on his more “look I’m beautiful” side)

Gym Leader Beelzebub wants to fight…

-Normal type gym leader

-His team just like him looks bulky but they are a bunch of sweethearts.

-Tauros was inspired on his horns and the way he barrels like a bull when angered

-I know Greedent literally had greed on the name but it represents his gluttony as Greedent is known for hoarding and eating all food available.

-Munchlax had a similar reason behind, they eat a lot but are also very active. Much like Beel.

-Beel caught a little Teddyursa when younger because he thought it was cute and he loved seeing the little bear napping along Belphie. As they trained and grew stronger Teddyursa evolved on his most powerful pokemon, Ursaring.

-Miltank was a gift from Belphie, the younger twin figured Beel would enjoy having a limitless fountain of food with him.

-Cutiefly, I know this one doesn’t like it belongs on the team but it’s a cutie and a fly so I have to give one to Beel.

Gym Leader Belphegor wants to fight…

-Dark type gym leader (you all know why)

-Komala lives all its life asleep hugging a log like it’s a pillow, if that doesn’t scream Belphie I don’t know what.

-Musharna is a pokemon that’s said to bring good dreams, the same way Belphie got Miltank for Beel, Beel caught Musharna to take care of Belphie.

-Zoroark and Liepard are known for being tricksters and liars, much like Belphie enjoys pranking Lucifer and on the beginning hides his true nature from the MC. Inkay was chosen for a very similar reason he is a cute squid but has the potential to turn into the very dangerous Malamar.

-I’m going to get angsty and spoiler-ry on this one so consider yourself warned. Absol is believed to attract disaster and misery just like Belphie blames himself for what happened to Lilith and avoids peolple because of his guilt to the point he ends up causing real misery when he killed MC.

The undatebles coming soon...

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