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theyhavetakenovermylife · 3 months

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You know how small children, especially toddlers who just started walking and talking could be, so I'm curious how the turtles would handle their oldest kidd at this age especially since they never got to interact and take care of kids before this. From my personal experience, toddlers can be either innocent and cute little angels or annoying devils who bother everyone in public if they don't get what they want

First Steps or Words (Fluff)

Bayverse!Turtles x reader

A/N: I’m not fully sure what you mean with toddlers just having learned to walk and talk, as kids typically take their first step or say their first word during the infant stage, but it could very well be my limited English that is getting in the way here😅 Anyway, in my internship I work with kids in the age group of 3 - 5, so I agree and disagree. Kids have a limited knowledge, both of themselves and their surroundings. Oftentimes they don’t think of how their actions can affect others, which is then my job to help them understand, and at the same time help them verbalize their emotions in a better way. But boy, sometimes the last thing you need is 4 year old that’s crying over something so simple as a toy, even though to them it's their whole world at that moment😭 Enough of that, time for some cute stuff💙❤️💜🧡

Warnings: I already had baby fever before this, so I don’t know if you guys will get it too😭💚

Leonardo:

Never had Leo thought he would get to experience something like this. You and him in your shared bedroom, relaxing after a long day of working, with little baby Romeo smiling and giggling in the bed, kicking around in his little onesie. Your son had been a giggling delight all day, making all sorts of sounds from his play pen, almost distracting you, Leo and the first of the turtles in your work, building to extend the lair so that there would be space for your growing family.

Recently, Romeo had learned of a new sound to make, showing it off proudly with or without a crowd to watch or hear him. Pressing his lips together with his tongue poking out, Romeo would blow out air, creating what sounded like a fart noise, with bubbles of spit forming where the air came out.

This was nothing new to you, having seen many human babies do things like that, either on the internet or in real life. You didn’t find it any less cute however, you had just known that Romeo would start doing it at some point. Leo however, was totally mesmerized. He had never seen nor heard a baby make noises like that, even though he watched hundreds of baby videos after the day he learned you were pregnant. But nothing prepared Leo for how fast it was going. In less than a year, Romeo had gotten from this little emobile green bean with big staring eyes, to this little bundle of loud noises and kicking limbs. Leo’s heart swelled, and as he watched Romeo kick around on your shared bed as you and Leo was cleaning up for the night, Leo couldn’t stop himself from hovering over your son, nuzzling his beak against his little stomach, causing the young boy to let out a high pitch scream of laughter. Leo lifted his head from Romeo’s stomach, looking down at his smiling son as he pressed his lips together around his tongue, kicking his legs as he made the noise he had been making for the last few days.

“Bbrrrrrrr”, Romeo let out, small bubbles forming around his mouth, making it impossible for Leo not to smile.

“Bbbrrrrrrrr”, Leo said back to your son, the small child laughing at his mimicking, reaching out for him, his small hands touching Leo’s face.

“Is daddy being silly?”, you asked in a baby voice, smiling with a chuckle as Romeo continued his small sounds, only for Leo to say them back to him. Romeo let out a high pitched shriek with a big smile, holding on to Leo’s face as his bright small eyes started at him. You wouldn’t help but smile as you watched the two of them, feeling warm throughout your body. It was wonderful to see Leo be so calm and loose around his child. He was truly at peace. “I think daddy’s being silly”, you teased, causing Leo to poke his tongue out at you as Romeo rambled on.

“No, daddy is having fun”, he said, turning his attention back towards the rambling Romeo.

“Brrrr, ba, babababa, dadadadada”.

You and Leo stared at each other in shock. Did you hear right? Did Romeo just say what you thought he said? All of your questions were soon answered when Romeo reached out for Leo once more, continuing his newly learned word.

“Dadadada”.

“That’s right!”, Leo exclaimed, picking up the happily screaming Romeo. “I’m dada! I’m your dada! Did you hear that mama?! He said dada!”

Raphael:

There was nothing more entertaining than watching Joan crawl around the floor, trying to get from one place to another, closely following behind either you or Raph as you walked around the lair. With her small arms and legs and what you could only describe as a happy battle cry, she tried to keep you the best she could, soon gaining very strong leg muscles that could push her around the floor with ease. It was just a matter of time before she would start walking, and Raph was more than ready for that.

Everyday, Raph watched Joan intently, waiting for the moment she would start walking around on her small legs. He was fully intended to see her first steps, especially after having heard Leo complain more than once that he wasn’t home to watch his own son’s first steps. Raph wouldn’t make the same mistake. He would be there with a front row view when his first born started walking. But so far, she had only been crawling or sitting on her but, screaming loudly before following people around.

But Raph never once gave up hope, continuing to watch Joan each and every day, for the moment she would start carrying herself around on only two limbs. Which was one of the many reasons why he now sat on your shared bedroom floor on Joan’s playmate, with the young child between his legs, hoping that she would support herself on him and start walking. You sat on the bed, watching them with a smile, feeling your heart swell as Raph baby talked with your daughter.

You could have stayed there and watched them for hours, had your parents not called, asking about the next time they could come and visit you and Raph, and see their adorable little granddaughter. Therefore you stood up with your mother on the phone, heading towards the living area, in order to hear the other turtles and their partners, if they were okay with your parents coming over that following weekend.

And just like any other time, when either you or Raph stood up around little Joan, she looked in your direction, let out a high pitch sound before following you, supporting herself on Raph’s legs. Raph held his breath, waiting for the moment Joan would let go, and follow without anything supporting her. But as soon as she let go of Raph, she fell to her knees and started crawling for the door.

Raph chuckled, only slightly disappointed that Joan didn’t walk, but highly amused by her determination. “Don’t worry sweetpea”, he said. “Mommy will be back in just a moment”.

Joan sat back on her butt, looking at Raph for a moment with her fingers in her mouth, before she let out another sound, crawling back towards him. Or that was what Raph thought she was going to do. As she placed her hands on the ground, just like she usually did when she crawled, she did not start to move forward. Instead she used them to push herself off the ground, before wopling on her own two feet.

Raph let out the biggest shriek you had never heard, making you stop and turn in the living area, your mother still on the phone. Flailing around on the ground with his arms open, as if to tell her to come to him, Raph called out for you. “Babe! She’s walking! (Y/N)! She’s walking!”

You almost fell back into the room at the sound of Raph’s shriek, almost forgetting about your mother on the phone, not hearing her concerned questions, fearing that the roof was falling down on top of Raph and Joan. So did you for a moment, not registering the words Raph had yelled, but the sight of Joan taking small hesitant steps towards Raph was almost enough to make you fall to your knees with your arms open as well.

“Mom!”, you yelled into the phone, turning on the camera so she could follow along. “She’s walking! Joan’s walking!”, you continued to yell, capturing the moment Joan walked straight into Raph’s arms with a bright smile.

Donatello:

Have you ever seen a baby get mad, when they can’t do the things people around them can? Well, that was Galileo when it came to walking. Watching his parents, uncles, ants, grandparents and cousins walk, while he was stuck on the floor was enough to make him angry, supporting himself on everything, trying his best to walk on his own. But it was the same story every time. As soon as Gali let go of whatever he was holding onto, he fell to the ground with a sad and angry expression. He wanted to walk!

You and Donnie did your best, lending him a helping hand whenever he wanted to walk, feeling pure happiness when you saw the big smile upon his face and heard his loud happy noises. But there were times where you couldn’t help him, or walk him in circles around the living area for hours. But Gali wanted that. He wanted to walk so bad, almost to the point where he got hysterical when he was tired. So you and Donnie did what you could do and helped him practice, enjoying his laughter and smile and how it brightened your world up.

One day, you and Donnie found yourselves sitting in the middle of the living area, sitting on the floor in front of each other with your legs out scratched. You held Gali’s hands in yours, his infectious laughter making both you and Donnie break out in bright smiles as you watched your son stand on his wobbly legs, holding onto you in order to stay up.

“Come on, Gali”, you said, fighting not to break into another fit of laughter. “Go over to daddy”.

You slowly guided Gali forward with the help of your arms, Gali laughing all the way, even as Donnie took his hands from yours, helping him all the way into his embrace.

“Hey, big boy!”, Donnie smiled, causing Gali to throw his head back in further laughter. It was adorable. Donnie held Gali close in a hug, looking at his hysterically laughing son, taking off his own glasses in order to rub his eyes, that had glossed over in tears due to his own laughter. “I’ll never get enough of this!”

“Imagine how much he will laugh when he can walk on his own”, you said, massaging your cheeks as they started to hurt from all that laughing.

“I can’t wait to find out”, Donnie said, turning Gali back towards you, holding him by the sides. Still smiling wide, Gali looked back over his shoulder, smiling at Donnie, a little bit of drool running from the side of his mouth. “Go to mommy, Gali. It’s mommy’s turn”.

Gali started laughing again, his legs giving out under him, letting him fall down into Donnie’s lap. However Gali kept laughing, causing Donnie to hide his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking from his own chuckles.

Gali stopped laughing, and grabbed onto Donnie’s arm, pulling himself up on his feet. Donnie quickly recovered, ready to hold on to his son once more, only to find that Gali had already taken a few steps away from him, still holding onto his arm. And then Gali let go. Both you and Donnie expected him to fall to the ground, followed by loud crying, but that did not happen. Instead Gali continued to walk towards you, laughing and screaming happily as he did so, before almost falling into your arms, you and Donnie staring at each other in shock.

“Gali’s walking!”, Donnie exclaimed, as if he did not fully believe it.

“He is”, you said, letting go of your young son, only for him to walk back to Donnie with more happy screaming.

“You’re walking!”, Donnie yelled excitedly, lifting Gali up for a bear hug, the young boy screaming and laughing all the way.

Michelangelo:

Nothing could beat mornings like this. You and Mikey in the kitchen with Sunny in her high chair, eating alone together before the rest of the family woke up. Who would have thought that you and Mikey ever would become morning people? Well, neither you nor Mikey, but then you gave birth to a daughter that tended to rise with the sun every day, and there was nothing that would make her go back to sleep. But both of you had to admit it was nice, sitting just you three in the kitchen, engaging Sunny in small conversation, her small sounds and her finger that kept pointing everywhere with curiosity, without the rest of the family around. It wasn’t because you didn’t want the others around, no not all, but because when Mikey’s brothers and their partners woke up, then so did their toddlers. And as much as you loved your nephews and niece, it was nice with some time only for your little family, enjoying your early breakfast together.

Once all of you had finished eating, you would stay in the kitchen for a moment, waiting for the rest of the lair to wake up. During those moments, Mikey tended to take Sunny out of her highchair and set her on his lap, letting her play with his hands, the tails of his bandana, or whatever caught her wandering attention that morning. And today it was his thumb, her small fingers holding onto it as she made all the sounds she could think of.

“Mmmmm”, Sunny hummed, her small hands grabbing onto Mikey’s thumb, before putting it into her mouth with a small grin. “Mmmmmm”.

“Do you think she’s about to say her first word?”, Mikey asked, wiggling his thumb a little, making Sunny giggle. “I think she’ll say her first word today”.

“Yesterday you thought she was going to say her first word”, you smiled, chuckling at the drool that dripped from her mouth.

“Mmmmmm”, she continued, her bright blue eyes looking up at her father.

“What’s that?”, he asked, bouncing his leg slightly, making her giggle once again. “Are you about to say mommy?”

You rolled your eyes. For the past few weeks, Mikey had tried and tried his best, wanting Sunny’s first words to be your parental title. And why exactly? Well, because Mikey thought you deserved it. You gave birth to her, so at least her first words could be mommy.

“Mikey, she isn’t going to say mommy”, you said with a smile, shaking your head at your husband.

“Bet”, Mikey said, lifting Sunny up so that she was standing on his thigh with both his hands under her arms. “Come on, Sunshine, say mommy”.

“Mmmmmm”.

“Mikey”, you said in a teasing warning.

“Mmmmmm”, Sunny continued.

“Nono babe, she almost got it”, he said, his eyes never leaving her small face. “Come on, Sunny, say mommy. I know you can do it”.

“Mmmmm”, she said one more time, and then, suddenly. “Mikey!”

Mikey stared at Sunny in confusion while you broke out in laughter, Sunny giggling in the way she always did.

“No, no, Sunshine”, Mikey said with a chuckle of disbelief. “I’m daddy, not Mikey”.

“Mikey!”, she said with a big and bright smile, giggling even more at his confused expression. This was definitely not what he had expected, nor did he fully know how to react. But for a long time afterwards, no one was allowed to call him Mikey, until Sunny started calling him daddy.

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princessamericachavez · 1 year

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I still can’t believe how unhinged the couch thing is.

In s5 we see that Taylor brings her couch into the loft even though Buck has one and they have a problem from the get go because both couches (aka their personalities, their lives, their wants) do not fit in at the same time. They are both too attached to their own individual lives and goals to actually share a life. There’s no space for both of them in that home.

Ok anyway moving on Taylor is gone and we have an empty space where she forced her couch into Buck’s space.

Anyway, my point is: 6x1 we have the whole couch conversation and it’s always been such an OBVIOUS metaphor for Buck and Eddie’s relationship that it drives me insane.

“You know, I think it’s weird that he’s struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many excellent options right under his nose.”

“Like you?”

“It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.”

In the same season where we now know that Eddie will be exploring his dating options and going out with other people?????? Are you kidding me???????????

Buck saying this while he cooks for Eddie and Chris???? While he offers food and comfort??? In a show that has consistently utilized cooking and feeding others as a clear metaphor for love and family?!?!

And they even hammer it in again!!!

“What are you offering?”

“Right now, Bobby’s famous lasagna.”

I need to talk about thisssss. Because not only have we been presented with the idea of food as love and nurturing but also cooking as personal growth, about learning to nurture yourself and others and getting out of the darkness. Think about Bobby after joining the 118. But also think about Maddie being impressed by Buck “growing up” represented by Buck having learned cooking skills from Bobby. Think about Eddie going to therapy and swapping recipes with Linda and learning to be better and look after himself after getting chewed off by his dad for burning breakfast for his mom and sisters.

What Buck is offering is his own growth as a person. Is saying “I’ve put myself back together”. It’s saying “I’ve been working on myself for five years to become a better man”. It’s saying “it’s taken me several tries but I’m finally getting there.”

And of course after all that it’s when we go fully into the couch metaphor. It’s hard to say much about this dialogue that hasn’t been said before, but mostly I want to highlight that, for Buck, this metaphor is tightly tied to romantic relationships. “My last two couches came with girlfriends” and “maybe I don’t want to pick the wrong couch again”. But it’s also the fact that Buck picks his chair to take the couch’s spot for now. That is Buck. Buck being single.

The whole metaphor could’ve simply been about Buck realizing he doesn’t need a relationship to define him and who he is and that he should choose his own path and create a space in his home for himself. But if that was the case he would’ve just bought a couch for himself. The single chair represents his single path at the moment. The couch will be a romantic metaphor.

All of this to say that it’s absolutely unhinged that this is the last shot of Eddie we see in 6a.

And this comes after a) Buck called to give them the baby news, b) Eddie looked less than pleased at the reveal, c) Eddie hung up saying he was gonna try to get some sleep before taking Chris to school.

Except we see him drop the controller here. So he clearly kept playing. Even though he looked quite frustrated there. Fighting with himself. Anyway clearly something was bothering him.

What’s insane to me is that we cut immediately from this shot to Buck sleeping and the whole baby onesie shot. And I don’t think it could be any more obvious that we are meant to connect these two dots. Especially when we see them in the same montage as Henren and Maddnie sleeping together on their respective beds. And we know Buck’s whole donor thing was partly motivated by other things, like his need to be useful to others and save everyone, but also his eternal search for family and perhaps a call to fatherhood (even though he’s clearly not struggling with separating the idea as everyone expected).

Anyway, I do think having Eddie sleep on his couch rather than his bed was certainly A CHOICE. and it feels even more obvious when we know what happens in 6b.

I love that the Buckley’s brought up Buck’s lack of couch an episode before. HEY REMEMBER THIS? And it’s so much A Thing that we see that even Maddie gets it.

Which is so important considering the very. next. episode. we are going to get the most obvious callback to this metaphor in the shape of Buck finally finding rest and peace at Eddie’s couch?!?!?!

THEY ARE SO UNHINGED FOR THIS

And then they go as far as to have Buck point out “how did I pass out so fast?”

Like boyyyyyy you’re this 🤏🏽 close to figuring it out!!!!!!!

Anyway I cannot WAIT to see how they bring it up again and how Margaret’s couch finds its demise and especially knowing Buck’s very last scene of the season will touch back on the metaphor.

It will be so insane if they actually pull this off!!!!!!!

#buddie #Evan buck Buckley #911 fox #Eddie Diaz #911 spec

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yeeunjia · 2 years

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can you do how enha would cuddle you???<3333 love ur content btw 💕💕

⩩ · (𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍) ✰ HOW THEY WOULD CUDDLE WITH THEIR S/O ♡︎ ٫ ot7 x gn!reader | fluff | no warnings !!

희성 // heeseung

begs and begs to get your attention and now you're cuddling with him! i see heeseung as the type who literally wouldn't even want to let go of you as soon as you two start to cuddle. he absolutely loves spooning you and would find you adorable. this man would probably even call you 'tiny' and 'adorable' as well <'3 he'd have an arm wrapped around your torso. and again, he wouldn't want to let go of you so he'd keep you in place, not even allowing you to get up or wiggle out of his arms, leading you to just falling asleep!

‎‎ਏਓ continue reading / others under cut !! ⸻

제이 // jay

he rarely asks for cuddles (even if he wants it too much) and when he finally gets the courage to ask for it, you gave him a 'no' mainly because you were still busy. he'd sigh out of annoyance, loud enough for you to notice but you still refused. "you're just talking with your friends!" "i haven't spoken to them for ages, jay." "you met up with them yesterday!" he crosses his arms. jay then lost it, snatching your phone away and laying on top of you! despite that sudden action, he's still very cute. he loves hearing your heartbeat and would end up falling asleep after a few minutes.

제이크 // jake

has been craving for your attention for the whole day and finally got what he wanted. plus cuddles, even better! this puppy would have the biggest smile on his face. you'd be laying on top of him and jake wouldn't stop giggling while giving you forehead kisses :(( he'd start caressing your hand while giving it little pecks too! he'd tell you about how his day was TERRIBLE just because you payed less attention to him for hours. "you should never do that ever again. i was in the verge of tears!" he pouts and you giggle, "what if i do want to do it again?" "Y/N! NO!"

성훈 // sunghoon

after a long day, you two would be cuddling on the couch while a movie is playing in the background. LOVES burying his face in your neck (also does that to hide the pink blush that appears on his cheeks :'DD) he isn't that type to show much physical affection so you both would just be staying still, enjoying each other's company. and that is more than enough. and if he's lucky, you might even start babying him! which hoon secretly loves wayyy too much if he tries to act disgusted! <'3

정원 // jungwon

would hesitate and be nervous to ask for cuddles at first. waddles to you and may start chuckling nervously, "can we...cuddle?" he'd think you wouldn't want it but you immediately agreed and opened your arms widely for him. wonie couldn't hide his smile. this baby would be so shy and wouldn't say much at first but when he finally adjusts, he wouldn't stop whispering sweet nothings and saying how happy he is to have you by his side. everything felt like a dream, but one thing's for sure: you and won will always be each other's 'polaroid love'. <3

선우 // sunoo

does your skincare and puts a face mask on you before crawling in the bed! he'd squeal while taking pictures of you, "you still look good, even with a face mask on!" he giggles. he then lays on top of you and silently started tracing your collarbone. you gave his head a pat, making him smile. and it was the cutest one you've ever seen." he sat up to give your lips small pecks, "i love you" sunoo smiles. "i love me too, sunoo." you tease, making sunoo frown and cross his arms "...i take that back!"

니키 // niki

you got out of the shower and niki's eyes lit up. he also couldn't help but notice that onesie that you were wearing. he gave it to you on your first date after finding about your favorite and he thinks that you looked adorable. he patted the space beside him, signaling you to sit beside him. you went closer, lying on his chest instead. and niki didn't complain at all. he would show you all the videos he's seen on tiktok, making you two crack up. to be honest, he wanted to be mean for a bit and tease you but he held back just to not ruin the mood <'3

ENHYPEN MASTERLIST // REQUESTS & MESSAGES ʚ♡ɞ

ও. PERMANENT TAGLIST (open) : @kpoplover718 (side note: i am NOT sure if those who asked to be in my permanent taglist when i didn't have one yet still wants to be added which is why they aren't included here yet! still, do feel free to send an ask or dm me if you still wish to be added <3)

#enhypen #enhypen reactions #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen fanfiction #enha imagines #enha reactions #enha scenarios #enha x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen x idol reader #enha heeseung #enha jay #enha jake #enha sunghoon #enha jungwon #enha sunoo #enha niki

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everettswritings · 7 months

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So recently I’ve been regressing a lot more and I thought about doing some sort of writing thing with it because it’s been forever since I’ve expressed that side of myself! And honestly? Hollyberry Cookie radiates so much CG energy that it’s enough to make me regress effective immediately. (Side note: no k!nks allowed here, this is SFW! If you’re NSFW please leave :])

HUGS! I feel like it‘s obvious, maybe low hanging fruit, but come on! You know she loves to hug and cuddle with you!

Oh my god, prepared to be spoiled to death because that’s exactly what she plans on doing! Toys, pacifiers, cute onesies, and whatever else!

Do you ever so slightly want something? Okay, it’s yours now! Have fun :)

This includes being fed. We all already know that Hollyberry always makes sure that everybody’s eating well, so who’s to say that she wouldn’t apply the same to you? Be prepared to be stuffed on snacks and treats all the time!

When she found out you age regress it was an immediate thing, the motherly instincts kicked in and she was like “okay, you’re my baby now”. Needless to say that you didn’t really get a choice

Since she’s really big and strong you can definitely expect a lot of things like piggyback rides and uppies!

And don’t you DARE think you’re “too big” for her to hold you! She will turn around and prove you wrong faster than you can blink

If you ever impurely regress she will be right by your side! She will do everything in her power to help you and make you feel better, she won’t leave until you’re smiling.

At the end of the day, she definitely cares about you! She will do everything to make sure you’re happy and healthy.

Okay, so I guess that’s all I have for now! Or at least these are the thoughts I could compose, I feel myself kinda slipping into little space while writing this, but I definitely had fun with this and I really wanna do more of this in the future! Have a good one, y’all 🫶

#hollyberry cookie #hollyberry crk #crk #cookie run kingdom #crk x reader #headcanon #headcanons #cr kingdom #crk headcanons #crk hollyberry cookie #everetts writings #age regression #agere #sfw agere #agere headcanons

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quarktrinity · 6 months

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quark watches star trek season 1 episode 22

spirk flirting

hahahahahahha these writers thought space travel would happen in the 90s

how can they tell if people are breathing on that ship

WORLD WAR III IN THE 90S???? IT WAS ABOUT EUGENICS?????

mccoy and spock bickering. i reiterate: mccoy thinks this is hot, spock doesnt give a shit

whos this lady am i supposed to care about her

spaceship coma pods look like those japanese pod hotels

scotty would "love to tear this baby apart" (he means the earth ship)

hahahahahahahahaha these writers thought we could travel past light speed in 2018

this girl was ogling kirks tits i think

scotty dont say "oriental"

what is this dude wearing. is this like a fucking gold mesh onesie. its so slutty

dudes been asleep for 200 years. ok

oh my god his tits

why did we need to know how many of the sleeping pod people were women

the 90s were a violent part of our history apparently

this dude is a Super Human from the Eugenics Era. horrifying!

i swear this guy had longer hair a second ago

god this episode better not be racist about this dude being indian

mccoy is so funny. gives advice to the dude choking him about how to kill him by cutting a certain artery. alright man.

they have this dude in the sluttiest shirt ive ever seen. full cleavage

he better not be evil

his name is khan? wasnt there a movie about this dude. and his wrath

this doesnt bode well

spock talks abt how having greater ability translates to greater ambition. yeah i think khan is evil

khan leave the girl alone. why are you being so mean.

dont touch her hair!!!

dont grab her like that!!!!

UGH SHE THINKS THIS IS HOT

why is kirks formal attire green

wow khan is incapable of wearing a non-slutty outfit

him making out with that girl would be fun if the music wasnt so sinister about it and also if he wasnt grabbing her so much

yeah hes definitely evil

star trek says dictatorships bad

Blue Drink

khan has just constant cleavage

suddenly khan is all about consent

suddenly consent is all about asking permission

i hate him

the image of an indian man seducing a white woman to take control of her just isnt that great. like i know its the 60s but still

ok khan was a literal dictator in the 90s

spock says dictatorships bad

so how about we just shoot this guy out into space

khan says eugenics good

i get hes evil and this plot is compelling but why did he have to be Notably Not White

khan doesnt have cleavage anymore :0 terrifying

woooaaahh khans escaped???? thats craaaaazyyyyy

suffocation before surrender

why didnt khan just kill them

good to see a brown dude extra among the good guys so we know the casting director wants us to think theyre not saying all brown dudes are evil

uhura is so cool. go girl

how is kirk a damsel in distress so often

khan hates friendship

"the captain is dead" no hes not

thank you for betraying khan history girl your horniness has not completely taken over your soul

"captain ive saved your life but please dont kill him" nevermind i hate you

Deadly Neurotoxin

show of brute strength by bending phaser like a spoon is sillier than khan thinks

yes kirk kill him with your thighs

/whacks u with a tube/

WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM GO

WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE OVER A PLANET

WHY

history girl i hate you. dont go with him. idiot

JUST KILL HIM

UGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

welp. see you later khan. and your wrath.

paradise lost reference was ok

#quark watches star trek #star trek

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alarajrogers · 11 months

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Going off your last post, what "simple measures" WOULD you propose to deal with incel terrorism, besides obvious ones like better mental healthcare and gun control? Off the top of my head, I'd suggest normalizing social mixers more (the sort of role that churches, Freemason/Elk lodges, etc., traditionally filled), encouraging women to make the first move in courtship, encouraging boys to cultivate their appearance and charm the way we teach girls (so making the first move would be not just more appealing for women, but also safer if "charm" for men encompasses respectful behavior), and encouraging men to emotionally support each other.

So there's a few things.

Firstly, number one, there's the gun control. Other countries have disaffected young men, white supremacists, and overly entitled misogynists, but they don't have as many guns and ready access to ammo. And the Second Amendment has never said what it's currently interpreted as; judges completely ignore the "well regulated militia" part. The right to bear arms is supposed to be regulated. What kind of regulations are necessary for the security of a free state? Well, among them, no fucking stochastic terrorism, which means we can't have randos running around with unregulated guns. Hell, put a gigantic tax on the ammo and then let people who require guns for work, have insurance, and all their permits in place, write the tax off. You can collect weapons all you want if they don't have ammo, and no one gets the right to write off more ammo than they can justify with their job duties or hobbies, or that they can insure.

How do we address the fact that boys are being taught absolutely toxic bullshit about how they're supposed to interact with girls? For this, I think you need some kind of program that involves male celebrities like musicians and athletes, and maybe tax breaks for Hollywood programs that work to model healthy behaviors for boys and girls toward each other. Less of this toxic "I'm a strong independent woman who doesn't need no man and that justifies me being abusive to boys and men in fiction". Model toward girls what healthy behavior to boys and from boys looks like, model toward boys what healthy behavior to girls and from girls looks like. Do PSAs. Get public schools to include a unit on healthy romantic behaviors in Health class in middle school, preferably as early as sixth grade. (I'd say put it in like 3rd, but I can just hear the parental screaming about sexualizing children, coming from the same people who'll buy their 1 year old onesies with "My heart belongs to DADDY" or "Lady Killer".)

Normalizing social mixers is absolutely a great idea! In fact, I believe we should be creating third-space socialization opportunities for girls and boys, little ones and teen ones, all over the place, that are outside of schools. Clubs that are not associated with schools, athletic leagues that let kids of the same general height and weight play together regardless of gender. Such things should exist for adults, too. Right now, there are socialization systems in place for college students, the elderly, and people who are willing to put in a ton of work and free time to stay involved with something, but aside from that, all there is for adults is bars, nightclubs, and work, if you want to meet new people. Or use online dating apps.

I do believe in teaching boys charm, hygiene, respectful behavior, and in emotionally supporting each other, and I believe in normalizing girls making the first move... but the forces that stand in the way of those things have been battered at since the 60's and if anything are resurging now. Misogyny, patriarchy and toxic masculinity (as opposed to healthy masculinity) are currently pushing really hard against the forces of reasonable behavior, and part of this is on feminists, who as a cohort have spent too much time demonizing men and not enough time explaining to them how they benefit from the behaviors women would like to see from them. I am not quite sure how to fix this particular problem. I feel like feminism as a movement screwed the pooch, and MRAs are actively in favor of patriarchy and misogyny, and there's really no movement of "let's be reasonable toward people of a different gender."

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concubuck · 1 year

Text

Baby Panic

((A thread following up from this artwork. Technically happened on Christmas but like don't worry about the continuity too much.

Alastor AKA Buck (hi there) has a little panic-induced breakdown at the thought of being responsible for a baby, and Alastor AKA Cal (@smiledotdeer) comforts him and talks him down.

And then they exchange Christmas gifts.))

Buck

The guests are gone, the living room is stuffed full of gifts for the baby, and Buck's looking them over trying to figure out a better way to relocate them than "teleport them in a heap into the upstairs hallway."

During the hubbub, a few onesies got tossed into the crib for storage, each stacked on top of the other. Ha. It almost looks like a baby. Immediately distracted from his task, Buck finds a pair of socks to serve as hands, adds a hat and a pair of horn caps over the imaginary head… and tucks a doll under the imaginary baby's arm. Funny. If you're not looking right at it, it really does look like a baby. Haha. Ha.

Funny.

That's what it's going to look like, when the baby is outside of Buck and lying in his crib. That's the size he's going to be, the amount of space he'll take up. He'll exist, a real physical object, not just a signal in the back of Buck's head or a ghost on a sonogram screen. He'll exist, small and helpless—and Buck will be responsible for him. He'll be right there, just like that.

Buck's grip tightens on the crib's railing.

Cal

"I'm going to put the monitor in the bedside table drawer for now, just to keep it out of the way until we need it. Or should I leave it on the bedside table so we get accustomed to seeing it and making space for it beforehand? And where did you want the—"

Cal's been babbling away as he brings things in from the baby shower, but he stops when he notices that not only is Buck not answering or even paying attention, but that he seems rather fixated on the crib.

"…Alastor?"

The box of dolls Rosie brought are set down on the bed before he approaches from behind, head tilted in both curiosity and worry. His eyes drift over to the crib, and his ears perk up before he chuckles.

"Ha, look at that! Perfectly baby shaped! It's almost like he's here already, isn't it?"

Buck

He barely registers what Cal says. He doesn't trust himself to speak clearly with a lump of static in his throat, so he just nods silently.

What is he going to do when he is here? When he has to take care of that helpless thing in the crib, or else abandon it? The idea of dedicating his life to it for the next couple of decades, of turning that much attention to the needs and problems of some child—he doesn't even really like children that much, he certainly didn't ask for one—how is he going to stand it that long? How is he going to ensure the child doesn't feel neglected or unwanted? He's terrified the child will ruin his life. How will he ever avoid ruining the child's?

But he says nothing—only a static hitch of his breath betrays his thoughts.

Cal

Slowly, Cal's beaming smile falters, falling just short of flattening out completely as the concern returns in full force. "…Alastor? Are you alright?"

Buck

"I can't do this." His voice is a distorted whisper. "How am I going to—? I don't know how to be a parent, I'd never wanted to be one, God knows I never prepared—I don't want to ruin some child's life, I can't handle this—"

His voice grows louder and faster and shakier the longer he talks, until he claps a hand over his mouth, but even that can't stop him from talking: "I can't do this. I can't do this. I'm not ready, I'll just ruin him—"

Cal

I can't do this.

Cal's heart seizes while his ears straighten and bristle. They'd come so far, and now he's saying he can't do it? What did that mean? Would he actually leave them after their son was born? Would Cal never see him again?

Stop. Breathe. That isn't what Buck wants to do. He's just scared. Like you.

"Hey now," he coos out, lifting his arm to wrap it around Buck's back and gently grip his shoulder. "You can do this. You're one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can do this, it's you."

Buck

He laughs, a hysterical tittering sound, and leans into Cal's touch but shakes his head at his words. "Strong magically, sure. I can kill anyone that threatens him. I can summon up servants for him. I can reshape reality for him—but can I get him to adulthood without traumatizing him? Without exposing him to something he shouldn't see, or abandoning him to go to a hookup, or just—getting frustrated and lashing out at him? I'm not strong the way a child needs."

Cal

"Darling," Cal starts, turning to face Buck while moving to hold his face in both hands, "you speak about this as though you're doing it all by yourself!" There's that bright smile again as he tries to reassure him. "I'll be right here with you the entire way!"

Buck

He finally drags his gaze away from the pseudo-baby to meet Cal's gaze.

That's right. Cal will be there. Buck's not doing all of this alone. And Cal wants a baby—has wanted one for years. He can compensate for Buck's incompetence. The kid will have at least one decent parent.

He wraps his arms around Cal, pressing their foreheads together. "I'm still so afraid. I can't remember the last time anything terrified me this much."

Cal

"I know. I know you're afraid. And it's okay to be afraid. Neither of us have done this before, and we didn't expect to do it." He closes his eyes and nuzzles their noses together, his left arm holding Buck close while the right keeps its hand on his cheek. "But we will do it. Together."

Buck

It's okay to be afraid is what breaks him—as if he's finally got permission to be afraid. His face crumples, and he presses his face to Cal's shoulder.

One of the first conversations Buck ever had with Cal was about how Buck thought it was fine to take off one's emotional armor from time to time, with people one could trust. With an alternate. At the time, he's been talking about Cal. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he'd been excluding himself—Cal could be vulnerable, and Buck could be there to support him, the strong one, the protector, his alternate's guardian. He hadn't imagined himself as the vulnerable one. He hates the feeling, hates feeling ripped open and exposed and raw.

But if anyone's going to see him like this, he's glad it's Cal.

He digs his fingers into the back of Cal's shirt and clings to him as hard as possible, as his shoulders shake with a sobs.

Cal

"Oh honey…here—"

Cal's moving them over to the edge of his bed so he can sit them both down and pull Buck against himself fully, both arms hugging onto him and rubbing at his back.

"I know," he repeats, nuzzling his cheek into Buck's forehead. "It's okay. Let it out."

Buck

He lets Cal move him, and then clings even tighter to him, pulling Cal against his side to get around his belly. He cries months of frustration and fear and panic into Cal's shoulder, his sobs coming out as hiccuping distorted crackles.

"I m-miss my ma." His voice is so distorted it doesn't even sound human. "I wish I still had one. I wish—sh-she could be here—for the birth." He hadn't even known he wanted that until he said it—but the longing hits him all at once like a hammer to his chest. He cries so hard he wouldn't be able to sit upright without Cal's support.

Cal

That line hits him harder than he expects it to. He hadn't even thought of his own mother much throughout this entire process. And knowing that Buck has lost his has him feeling sympathetic.

"I wish she could be here too."

Cal hugs him tighter and pets his hair with the right hand, his lips pressed to Buck's forehead as he murmurs and kisses against it.

"I wish both of our mothers could be."

Buck

So does he. He nods very slightly. God, how he wishes they could both have their families here—their original ones, without having to construct a new one piecemeal across the universes.

When the lump in his throat clears enough for him to speak again, he says, "We can—write yours."

Cal

He huffs a bit and shakes his head. "I don't think I could pull it off after the stunt from last year. Unless I got help, I suppose."

Buck

"I'll see what I can do." He'd managed to get a letter up to Heaven once, after all. His voice is husky from crying, but having something else to think about is helping him calm down. "If you don't think she'd be horrified by a demon grandson."

Cal

"Trust me, sweetheart: she'd be thrilled. She'll want to stick her nose all in this baby's business as much as she possibly can once she finds out about him. And Jo? Eternally six and finding out she's an aunt? Hah. That'd be one hell of a conversation!"

Buck

"Ha. Sounds like I'll have to find a regular courier."

How old had he been when he became an uncle? (He doesn't remember.) Would his mother have been thrilled to become a grandmother, to a demon or otherwise? Wondering makes another lump form in his throat; he swallows hard to get it down. He's better now. No tears this time. He got the panic out. "I'll make sure they hear."

Cal

Cal kisses his forehead for good measure before hugging him against his side. "If you can, I promise they'll love to know."

He stays silent for a few seconds, simply sitting still aside from nuzzling and hugging onto Buck from the side, before he turns his head to look at him proper. "We can do this. Together. I promise."

Buck

Together. His limp smile gains a little more strength. "Right. We'll make it through together." (But what if extermination—? He pushes that thought aside. They've already prepared as much as they can. All he can do now is wait.) "… I love you."

Cal

"I love you too." He cards a hand through Buck's hair and leans in to press a kiss against his lips. "More than I can ever put into proper words."

Something occurs to him after he spends a few more seconds hugging onto Buck. Something that makes him perk and sit back up. "I can still try, though, yes? I think it's time I gave you your Christmas present."

Buck

His thoughts wrench away from the idea of getting more than Cal's lips on his mouth as he's reminded of the existence of Christmas. "Oh? Oh! Yes, I need to give you yours too." As much as Buck wants to steer away from celebrating Christmas, he'd just feel guilty if he didn't get Cal something. (Plus he likes giving Cal things.)

Cal

"Let me give you yours first. I want to cheer you up more."

Cal smiles, ruffles at Buck's hair, and then gets up to wander over to his dresser and pull out a gift, wrapped in black paper and tied in a red bow. Whatever it is, it's soft and malleable as he hands it over to his alternate.

Inside is a throw blanket, decorated with starry skies and flowers, along with two skeletons holding hands. Both skeletons have antlers that look like both of their own, and at the bottom is stitched, "Alastor and Alastor".

Odd. One of the skeletons should definitely have wing and tail bones…but instead, aside from the antler shapes, they both look the same.

{Attachments} https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1058369129326858250/1058659576855146536/NonZodiacSkel_06_sq_590x.webp

Buck

Clothing? He unwraps it—a blanket—and stretches it out to see. Them. Connected in death, skin stripped off so they look the same. Even the wings are gone. Buck's eyes shine bright. He wonders if the skeletons are meant to represent their human corpses—no, they have antlers—so Cal just left the other details out. To make them look the same.

"Thank you." He throws Cal a wide, grateful smile. "You sneaky fox, all this time you've been making baby clothes and I never caught you working on this! I'll have to find a place of honor to hang it up." He wondered where it could possibly be safe in his apartment. Maybe he could hang it on a wall and then hang a plastic shower curtain in front of it to protect it.

Cal

"I worked on it during my visits to the park! It was the only way I could think to keep it a perfect secret." He winks, his grin beaming at Buck once again. He seems to really like the gift, and he's glad for it.

Then, as he's looking at the blanket, his eyes widen in realization. "Oh no! I forgot your wings and tail!"

Buck

"Well, I'll be! It worked!"

Buck huffs. "Good! I prefer to forget them myself!" He gently elbows Cal. "Here I thought you did it on purpose, to make us look the same."

Cal

"You—well! I suppose I don't need to fix it then."

Cal leans into the elbow and squeezes his hand. "I'm glad you like it so much!"

Buck

He squeezes back. "I do. Thank you."

Then his ears perk up. "Oh! And I should give you your gift. Gifts, I oughta say." He folds up his blanket to set aside.

Cal

"Gifts? What happened to being a Scrooge?" He's being playful about it, made clear by his grin and how he bumps shoulders with Buck. "I'm excited, though!"

Buck

"Scrooge is just stingy. I'm making a political statement. But let's leave politics out of the bedroom!" He pulls a ring box out of his pockets, gives Cal a crooked grin and a wink—relax, it's not what it looks like—and offers it over. "Here!"

Inside is a tiny chessboard on a ring, with the board hinged to open up and reveal the chess pieces. "I saw you'd been admiring one of these and tracked it down."

Cal

The box has Cal raising a brow out of instinct, but then he shakes his head and chuckles before accepting and opening it up. A soft gasp escapes him when he sees what's inside, and he immediately pulls it out to slip it on and look at all the tiny pieces inside. "Oh it's even lovelier in person! Thank you!"

Buck

He beams wider at Cal's happiness. "Now, I'm not much of a chess player, personally; but for you, I'd be happy to pull out a pair of tweezers."

Cal

"Ha! I'll definitely keep that in mind!" For now, though, he slips the ring back off and carefully puts it in its box before pulling Buck into an embrace.

Buck

Buck hugs Cal back, kissing his cheek as he does; and then, after a moment, says, "And for my next trick…" Like a magician pulling a coin from behind a child's ear, Buck pulls a gift-wrapped box from behind Cal's ear. (Unlike a magician with a coin, Buck probably used real magic to pull out that box.) "Gift number two!"

When unwrapped, it's a cigar box with high-quality cigars—or as high-quality as you can get with novelty blue "It's a boy!" wrappers around each cigar. "Something for you to hand out at the hospital in a few weeks." Buck actually doesn't know if hospitals nowadays still let new fathers hand out cigars—but if not, hey, more for Cal.

Cal

Those ears perk up before he lets out a giddy childish giggle and accepts the box. Seeing its contents only makes him laugh more. "I almost don't want to share these! But I will, of course, should anyone want one!"

Buck

Oh, that giggle melts his rotten heart. "Well, if you want you can keep 'em yourself! They're for you. But I thought you'd like the option."

Cal

"You're right, I do! If no one wants them then it simply means I get more!"

He sets the box next to him on the bed, pulls Buck back in for another embrace, and promptly flops down onto his side with soulmate in tow so he can snuggle up to him with a content hum.

Buck

He lets out a startled burst of static as he's dragged onto the bed, then laughs. He slides his arms around Cal and nuzzles his face.

"Hey," he says, voice soft. "You're gonna be a terrific father, you know that?" He's still not sure of himself—but he has no doubts about Cal.

Cal

Does he know that? Who knows. Not him.

Still, those words have Cal's expression softening before he hugs onto Buck just a little bit tighter. "I know I'm going to do my best!"

Buck

"Well, your best is going to be fantastic. Have you heard the ladies at the birthing class? You're already blowing the competition out of the water." He cups Cal's cheek in his hand. "The kid's not even born yet and you already love him with your whole heart and soul."

Cal

His ears fold back as he nuzzles into Buck's hand, and his tail can be heard thumping against the bed as it wags. "I do. I love him with everything I have."

He tilts his head forward to touch their foreheads together. "The same way I love you."

Buck

"You!" Buck laughs, and moves his hand from Cal's cheek to scritch at his flopped-down ears. "Listen to you! As smooth as silk!"

He lets his eyes slide shut. "And I love you like I love myself." Which is the highest honor he can offer.

Cal

The praise. The ear scratching. The return of affection. It's enough to make Cal close his own eyes and start doing something he's never done around Buck before.

He purrs.

Buck

The hell is that! Is that a sound effect? Did Cal's cat get in? Is that him?

He only stops scratching for half a second, then resumes it with gusto, grinning stupidly at this revelation—and he presses his body more firmly against Cal's so he can feel whether the purring vibrates his bones the way it does a cat.

Cal

No, that's definitely him. Church is nowhere in sight, and he is most definitely vibrating once Buck gets close enough to feel it. The harder he scratches, the louder it gets.

Buck

Then Buck continues scratching, still with a goofy grin. And, after a moment, he answers with his own "purr": white noise, the static between two radio stations, rising and falling with his breath like the sound of waves washing in and out on the beach. It's a soft, unobtrusive sound—especially compared to his usual sound effects—but it's the sound of him completely at peace.

Cal

Between the scratching and the white noise, Cal is able to fully relax and, soon after, fall asleep, still purring and occasionally offering a small affectionate nuzzle.

Buck

Nap time?

Yeah. It's been a long day, and Buck is tired (as per usual). Nap time.

Several large dark tentacles slither out of a void to help gently scoot them both to the center of the bed and wrap them in a blanket without waking Cal. Buck's white noise breaths slow down as he, too, falls asleep.

#smiledotdeer #radio baby #chat log #live and in person (face to face)

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signed-yours-truly-the-whale · 1 year

Text

A Ballerina and a Clown

“When’s the last time you celebrated Valentine’s Day?”

The words ELECTRIC BILL flitted through Arthur’s harried mind as he folded the paper down, holding his half-smoked cigarette in two fingers. Beneath her pink baseball cap shrouding her eyes, Rose was giving him a half-smirk at the other end of the couch. Her drying toes rested on his thigh. The sharp scent of polish was faint. She had come over for dinner and ended up raiding the old makeup bags tucked away in the bathroom.

“What?”

“And I don’t mean throwin’ some candy hearts and suckers in a pink shoebox for yer daughter to take to school. When’s the last time you really celebrated Valentine’s Day?”

“I celebrate it just fine with my daughter; I take her out for ice cream or … the zoo or something,” he said, wiping the smattering of cigarette ash from his trousers. It landscaped across his knee like a stroke of grey charcoal.

“But I’m divorced, so …” The bill waved in his right hand, overriding the warbled static of Gotham’s evening news. “… five years?”

“That’s upsetting.”

He hummed. The Valentine’s Day of five years ago with sex that wasn’t exactly love making and small talk with the woman whom he supposed was his wife over a deli table … was still better than the Valentine’s Day he spent in a padded room in the hospital in ’73.

Rose didn’t need to know about either of those days. Memories of the hospital stayed strictly between him and the sicker version of him, gangly and drenched head to toe in cold sweats and pock marks on his arms from sedatives.

She folded the daily tribune down, threw her feet off of him, and pressed her heels to the floor. In a swift motion, she was arm-to-arm against him. On the paper she splayed wide in his view, the point of her interest was hard to miss.

A Day for Love: Ten Valentine’s Day Specials in Gotham City

“The Royal Hotel’s havin’ a fifty-percent off special. We could get a deluxe room for a hundred ‘n fifty.”

“Still a little pricey,” he muttered, a billow of smoke pouring from his chapped lips.

“Isn’t the point of Valentine’s Day to go all-out and splurge a little?”

Not when there was a $99 electric bill to be paid.

“Can’t we have fun here?” he suggested. “Or the park or something? Hotels probably have bugs.”

Tilting her head allowed him the sight of her widening, incredulous eyes. Her mouth gaped open, the tips of pearly teeth bared. His lips pursed to suppress a grin, alight by her eyes.

“How can you complain to me about bugs when I saw cockroaches in the basement when I needed to use the washer here?”

“Rose …”

“Arthur …” she teased.

The way her pink lips curled, the dimpled crease in her cheek, made his throat dry. He couldn’t tell her what he wanted to tell her when she was this earnestly excited – that he didn’t want to celebrate holidays if he didn’t have to. He could only drum up so much enthusiasm as an adult for festivities he was deprived of as a child. Valentine’s Day always terrified him when Joss insisted on going out and doing something fun that they could barely afford at the detriment of a bill sitting on the table. Having his own way would have limited celebrations to putting their baby in a pink onesie, buying roses and cooking a real dinner (no microwaved meals), and calling it a night.

But his baby was a little more grown, and out of his care this Valentine’s Day weekend. And Rose was tired of roses.

“Can you just look at this with me?” she asked. “Please? It’s in two days; I wanna do something.”

And so he did, rigid with infatuation brushing heat on his cheeks. When she slumped her shoulders so sadly, she knew he couldn’t say no to her.

“Wine and chocolate sampling!” she suggested, a glossy finger tapping with fervor on the page.

“I don’t like either wine or chocolate.”

“You don’t like chocolate? What are you, ninety years old?” she balked, a disgust bunching the space between her narrowed brown eyes. He laughed.

“What did you drink at your wedding?” she asked. “When I get married, I’m havin’ a full fucking bar and getting’ blitzed.”

“I had a flute of champagne that I did not like, because I was not the one who wanted to buy it,” he said matter-of-factly, veering his head to gaze at her. His mouth twisted into a smile as the tip of his nose brushed hers.

“You’re as picky as yer daughter. I’m sure they have alcohol-free wines and dark chocolates,” she stated, turning her attention to the paper once more. Her cheeks plumped with amusement.

“And I’m sure I won’t like them either,” he countered. “But I’ll go if it’ll make you happy.”

“Oh god, Arthur, Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about us enjoying the day together.”

He winced inside, not happy to have caused her exasperation. He knew when she pursed her heart-shaped lips in such a way, she was truly getting cross with him.

Snuffing out the rest of his cigarette in the ashtray, “I’m just not big on going outside or spending money.”

“Well, I don’t like being holed up at home, so we’ll have to compromise, won’t we?” she asked, her bare shoulder hiking up as she shot him a sweet glance. “We can do something we both want during the day, then I’ll pick something, then we can come back here and be together.”

He sighed and rested the bill on the table. “Let’s look.”

A scavenger hunt in Central Park was out (Be real, Rose. Are we really that smart?).

As was a date in the library (You might dress like an old college professor, mister, but I don’t).

Neither of them even bothered to entertain the thought of ice skating as they glossed over #6 on the list.

“What about a movie?” Rose asked, her bottom lip jutting out in a contemplative pout.

“Maybe.”

She flipped a page. Next to the pennysaver ads for pet adoptions and almost-new dishware, splashed across page 8 was a full-body ad for the Monarch Theater.

“Ooh, I do love Jack Nicholson; we could see The Border,” she considered. “Or Time Bandits should be leavin’ soon, shouldn’t it? Maybe we could—”

“Oh, my god, Limelight.”

“What?”

As the air rushed from his lungs, his finger traced the black ink. Limelight – 30th Anniversary.

“I saw this movie when I was a kid,” he said, feeling heady. “I was seven years old and my mom took me to see it on Christmas Eve … this one and Singing in the Rain are the first movies I ever saw in a theater.”

He swiped his hand over his mouth, the smile tingling in his stretched lips.

“I’ve always loved Charlie Chaplin.” A dreamer’s sigh, delirious with adoring. “He made me wanna be an entertainer.”

“You really wanna go to the movies?”

The gleam of satisfaction spread the grin across Rose’s face, showing him her big, beautiful teeth. He made a noise of consideration. The last film he’d seen in a theater was one of those Star Wars movies that Carrie begged him to go see. The eager kicks of her legs in the seat next to his lulled him to sleep for an hour.

“We can go to the four o’clock show and then … maybe go to that record shop that you know I like the next block over?”

“And come back here so you could stay the night?”

To make love to the sound of their vinyl records was a captivating idea. Her music was livelier, more energetic. It put her in a good mood. It brought him just a hair’s width closer to picking apart her funny brain. To have asked him of all people to be her boyfriend, she must be a little mad herself.

She inched closer to him. The small berth of couch cushion between them dipped where she dug her palm in.

“I think we could work somethin’ out.”

They kissed each other with tight, closed lips, a downright tease.

- - - -

As agreed upon, at 3:15 PM, Rose’s yellow car was sat in front of the imperious arches of Anderson Avenue. Late winter snow mushed into the crevices of Arthur’s old shoes, begrudging him with a mess in his socks. He sucked in a chilly breath and buried his hands in his pockets.

“You ever notice your jacket’s the same color as my car?” Rose asked him as he hurried in. A burst of hot air from her overworked heating unit pricked a sweat beneath his brown scarf.

“Never really paid attention,” he huffed. It was a marvel how being so cold could knock the wind right out of him. Resting them between his knees, he rubbed his hands together. The snow crunched beneath the rolling tires.

“Did you get to call yer girl today?”

“Yeah, this morning before school,” he stated, removing his knitted beanie. His matted curls sprung to life. “Her class is having a party with cake, she said. I’m picking her up tomorrow once she gets out and I’ll have her ‘til Friday morning. I promised her I’d buy her chocolate.”

“Is it hard havin’ holidays without her?”

“She’s the only reason I have them,” he admitted sheepishly. “But she’s with her mother because her granddad’s birthday was yesterday and … my ex wants to take family photos with her and her little brother.”

A silence stirred at this statement. Arthur stared at his knees. In his periphery, Rose alternately looked between him and the road.

“Well now you’ve got me to celebrate with, right?”

He smiled faintly. Such victories were so rare, he would be a fool to shoo it off.

- - - -

“Pay up, Daddy.”

Arthur’s thumb- and forefinger stilled in his wallet, honed in on the crispness of a $5 bill. He looked at the hefty assortment of Rose’s desired concession finds, then to Rose’s clacking nails on the glass display, then to Rose herself.

“C’mon,” he said, his shoulders slumping.

“What?”

“I’ll pay for the stuff we’re sharing,” he wagered, sliding the boxes of chocolate raisins and M&M’s her way. “You can pay for your own candy.”

“This is for your daughter, from me,” she countered, shoving the chocolate raisins toward him again. “You promised you’d buy her chocolate.”

His lips pinched. He stared into her shining brown eyes as he handed the bill to the young, gum-smacking worker twirling her finger through her hair.

“The only person who gets away with saying that is Carrie herself,” he grumbled, ignoring the part of him that was charmed by her toothy grin and quasi-generosity.

He grabbed their drinks as she grabbed their popcorn and candy. They treaded the black and orange carpet, wading through a light sea headed for any theater besides their own, easing his nerves. He loved having a theater almost to himself.

“And you know I don’t like you calling me daddy,” he grumbled.

“And you know I have to tease you every once in a while,” she joked. “Keeps you humble. Like it keeps me humble when you smack my ass in bed.”

This earned her a snort. And all this time he believed she asked him to do it because she liked it.

“You are the least humble person I’ve ever met,” he stated.

“Suppose you need to humble me when we get home then,” she grinned with a tilted head, stopping just short of the theater door.

“We could arrange that.”

Pushing up on the worn-out toes of her sneakers, Rose planted a kiss on his lips. Then another. He could grow used to the taste of tacky, fruity lip-smacker if it was hers and hers alone.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie,” she beamed.

- - - -

“So, what did you think of the movie?”

“Well, from what I saw of it … it was kinda boring.”

Arthur chuckled to himself. Rose had fallen asleep two-thirds of the way through -- not even the entrancement of the orchestra or the ballet were enough to rouse her drooping eyelids. Now she was paying the price with heavy yawns that stretched her dry lips as they perused Retro Valley Records.

“I’m sorry,” he said bashfully. “I grew up watching Charlie Chaplin, so it’s different, I guess. My mom said once that she attended one of his movie premieres, but … I don’t know, I think she was a little lost by the end.”

Arthur rubbed the back of his neck, breathing deeply the overwhelming scent of plastic, surrounded by sleeves of records. Of that chapter in history, Rose must never find out.

“You didn’t let me finish,” she stated, a gleam in her eye. “… The ballet parts were nice. I’ve always loved ballet. Did I ever tell ya my grandma was in the Bolshoi Russian Ballet?”

“Once or twice.”

Several times. At least twice she told him that the posing ballerina on her left thigh was a commemorative piece, as was the name on the back of her knee. He would never tire of hearing her talk about it, and smiled as though it was his first time hearing it again. Very few subjects could spark such a light in her voice.

Rose’s fingers danced over the collection of classical orchestral arrangements. In his own hold, Arthur clutched one of his favorite Sinatra records: a replacement for the one that had fallen victim to a certain tyrant’s teething phase seven years ago.

“When my grandma gained custody of me and moved us out to Gotham was when I first started having real memories. She loved music and dance.”

A pink blush bloomed across her sweet apple dimples. She picked up an album with an arrangement of young women in identical white leotards, their tutus almost forming a cloud.

“There were a few Chanukahs where she took me to the Gotham Symphony Orchestra to see Swan Lake up in the balcony seats. Every first of the month she would make pirozhki for dinner and play her operas while I did my homework at the kitchen table.”

Her shoulders shook in laughter.

“She used to get so pissed at me for playin’ rock music and wearing lipstick once I hit high school, she’d come into my room and say, ‘Chert poberi, Rose Quinnlann, you’re making the neighbors deaf!’ And we’d drown out each other’s music from our rooms.”

The tighter her smile grew, the warmer her face glowed in the amber lights hanging above them. Arthur stood awkwardly, hobbling from one slushy shoe to the next, staining the maroon carpet.

“Are you okay?” he asked, meekly glancing at his feet.

“Yeah.” Her trembling breath didn’t indicate as such. “Every holiday just takes some gettin’ used to now, is all. I didn’t wanna spend today by myself.”

She laughed. In the quick glance he spared to her, there was mist in her eye.

“It’s the first Valentine’s Day I’ve spent with someone since she died. Usually I take a sabbatical, but now I got you. Like how ya got me since yer little girl is with her ma.”

“Yeah.”

Like a bullet, she took quick strides to get away from the classical section, leaving him several paces behind as she planted herself at the rhythm and blues section. She scoured the sleeves, not looking quite as invigorated as a few moments before.

“The …” He cleared his throat. “The orchestra is just a block away, isn’t it? Would you wanna go?”

Her shoulders dropped with a sigh.

“No, I’d like to just go home with you. Let’s play Scrabble, fuck like rabbits, and listen to our records.”

The casual use of profanity in such a setting made Arthur’s heart skip a beat. He took a venturesome step forward, pressing his lips to her temple as he saw a smile reappearing in her full lips.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, we’ll make love,” he murmured against her hair. Dropping his voice a notch as he carefully eyed the other occupied aisles, he whispered with a kiss to her cheek, “Save the fucking for midnight.”

She giggled. “You’re silly. Let’s go pay for our stuff.”

So, they did. His clearance shelf finds weren’t the worst records he’d ever gotten. He was quite pleased with himself as they left the shop with their heavy plastic bags. Carrie had complained recently that the music they danced to was “so boring, Daddy.”

“What the hell are they payin’ him to play in this weather?”

Arthur’s left shoulder knocked into Rose’s right. When the crinkle of bags and crunch of thick snow died down, Arthur followed her gaze across the street. Beneath an awning for Novelli’s – an Italian restaurant Arthur and Joss had many a times tried and failed to book for their own Valentine’s Day – a man in a heavy black coat swayed to the rhythm of his lone violin. A man and woman in more refined satin threw a few quarters into his upended top hat as they walked into the shop.

A phantom vision passed by Arthur’s eyes. His arms felt heavier with the weight of a wooden sign, his shoulders aching from dance. Sweat caked on his forehead instead of snow, which stuck to his and Rose’s lashes.

“C’mon,” she murmured, grasping his hand. “Let’s get back to the car.”

“Wait.”

She looked at him. At the soft upturn of his lips, at the gentle sway of his shoulders.

Could he help the way he moved when snow and lamplight made her look so criminally spiritual?

“You’re such an old romantic, Mr. Fleck,” she laughed. He slipped his other hand into her occupied one.

“Just listen to it.”

The freezing tip of his nose brushed a curl on her forehead as he rocked them slowly around. The chill of snow that bled through his jacket was scarcely a concern as the heat of her lithe body pressed to his chest. Her free hand found a home on his shoulder as he cupped her waist.

“It’s been a long time since you had a real dance partner, hasn’t it?” she asked.

“Maybe a bit.”

It probably looked foolish, their dancing in this weather. A few passersby certainly weren’t amused, giving them a side-eye as they careened around the pair. Arthur danced with her until he felt the love contained inside of him giving way to a tear. Then, with a squeeze of her hand, he let her lead them back to the car.

- - - -

Winter wind pricked at the nerves of Arthur’s bare skin like a million threading needles. The cigarette perched in his mouth stuck to his bottom lip as he puffed it away, the tan end dyed with Rose’s lip gloss.

She clutched him gently, a joyful peck tucked into the crook of his neck. Four fine pink lines danced across his body, where her long nails petted him from his chest to his thicket of dewy pubic hair.

After a heated game of Scrabble that left him in bashful red giggles (“I don’t give a fuck if ‘muzjiks’ is a real word, Arthur; get it off the board now!”), they had made love to Rose’s beloved rhythm and blues records for well over an hour. He let her do most of the work leading up to cool down, dancing for him and savoring the taste of each other’s chapped lips. He was only able to tease her for so long before he lost patience and sheathed himself inside her, shuddering in contentment. The intoxicating sight of her face as he hoisted her leg over his shoulder – her brows knitted, mouth open and mewling in pleasure – deprived him of all sense of rhythm and refinement. He learned some colorful Russian vocabulary as she clawed at his back.

She walked to the bathroom naked to clean up after their breathing returned to normal. He moved only to get a cigarette, stretching his arms like a tired tomcat, and to pat the sweat from his shoulders with a discarded shirt on the ground. Their clammy limbs intertwined as they retreated back to the bed, her ankle locking with his calf. His left hand relaxed behind his damp head.

He wasn’t sure how long they’d been laying together. The record had long since died off. A sired wailed in the far distance. Arthur scarcely heard it. His heartbeat ran in tandem with Rose’s melodious breaths.

“Are you glad we went out today?” she asked, digging her pointed chin into the meat of his good shoulder.

Billowing smoke like a dragon, “Have I ever told you that you’re bendy like a ballerina?”

She kissed his neck. His brow quirked, pleased that she was receptive to the compliment. Not everyone was receptive to his words like she was.

“Imagine spending every day like this.”

“Did that on my honeymoon.” An orange ember sizzled. He blew out another ashy breath, then passed it to her. “We got sore after a while and had to stop for a week.”

“Well, not every day,” she ribbed. Perching herself on her elbow, she huffed on the stick. It tickled Arthur’s nostrils as she playfully blew the cloud at him. “But every other day?”

He bit his lip, laughing. Maybe. Pulling her down, he kissed her. Mouthwash and toothpaste budded on her tongue. No more of his salt and musk after she’d greedily sucked him off.

“What if I thought of moving in here?” Rose crooned, falling back next to him. He hissed through his teeth, having enjoyed the squish of her breasts against him, her weight and body heat a perfect shield to the blade of winter air. “Just the three of us.”

The tip of her nose rode against his own as his dimples scaled into a smile. Tentative, he pushed the bushel of red curls off of her shoulder, advancing upward to cup her marble-smooth jaw. Turning on his right side, he hummed into her mouth.

“Suppose I should get you two acquainted,” he considered, warmed by her soft breathing. “I gotta get her seal of approval first.”

Arthur touched the silver bead on her lip. Her mouth stretched and her eyes teemed with anticipation.

“I’d like that very much.”

“Between you and me, I think she might adore you.”

He hoped so, for Rose’s sake. There was no feeling quite like it.

Rose staring at him like she was, though, vulnerable to his soft touches and delighted by them, was pretty satisfying as well.

She laughed. A one-syllable hitched giggle. Her nose crinkled.

“I love you, Arthur.”

He breathed deep, trying to resist the tightening piano string winding up in his chest. If he started crying it would snap. He smiled to mask it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, kitten.”

#arthur fleck #joker 2019 #arthur fleck one shots #arthur fleck imagine #valentine's day

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asarahworld-writes · 2 years

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Z-O-M-B-I-E-S missing scenes

The Pink Suit

Zed looked at the charity bin. It was a long shot that anybody had actually made a donation, let alone something that he could reasonably wear on a date. If it came down to it, he could bleach and dye something to acceptable Seabrook colours. But maybe he wouldn’t have to.

Mind made up, he plunged his hand into the bin and pulled out a bag of garbage. Okay. He discarded it and reached in again. This time, he’d grabbed a pink infant’s onesie. Actual clothing. Another onesie, two more, and a tiny pair of sneakers. Why would an infant require shoes? At times, it still amazed Zed that humans could spend so much time creating things that would be outgrown before they could even be worn. He added the baby shoes to the reject pile and pulled the next item from the bin. A suit jacket. It unfolded as he pulled it out and he sighed, reaching into the bin to catch whatever had fallen out, pumping his fist as he pulled out dress shoes and matching dress pants. Of course, there was still a chance (the odds were definitely not in his favour) that nothing would fit his lanky frame. He slipped his arms into the jacket, his jaw dropping in awe as the sleeves fell over his Z-band and past his wrists. Not only was it not too small, it was a perfect fit.

He could hear his friends’ thoughts about the suit. It’s too pink, Eliza would say, scrunching her nose in disapproval. Besides, this plan is insane, Zed. It’s not worth the risk, especially for Cheery von Cheerstick. He rolled his eyes at the imaginary Eliza. “Her name is Addison,” he said out loud. “And this is going to be the perfect date.” Beside her, Bonzo laughed. What are the odds that you manage to find a human suit in decent condition that actually fits you better than your regular clothes? “Because today is about taking a risk to get something that I actually want.”

To Zed, the suit looked just right. A beautiful light linen, soft pink that would blend into the Seabrook humans’ ideal aesthetic. Never mind that the suit was dusty and wrinkled, with an odd dark stain on the left leg. It would come out. Probably. He looked from the suit to the donation bin. Technically, he fell into the category of people eligible to be helped by the charity organization. Technically, if one removed his zombie-ism from the equation. The son of a hard-working single father, a sophomore taking a rounded curriculum of courses at school, whose family made do so well that he could almost pretend things weren’t as bad as they were. From a human perspective, of course. His family was quite well-off, for a zombie family. His dad had never let them go without; if nothing else, there was always an extra tin of brains around and a space at the table for a friend or two.

Zed continued to rationalize. Honestly, he needed the suit. He’d told Addison he would pick her up. The experiment with his Z-Band meant nothing if he was still dressed the part of a zombie. He needed to look the part. He was done with the hard part – swiping left. He looked at the suit again, feeling another surge of adrenaline. Decision made, suit in hand, he ducked into the alley to change.

#zombies #zeddison #zombies missing scenes #disney zombies

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inthegardensofourminds · 2 years

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Rating Eurovision 2022 looks

It’s me again! I meant to do this around the time the contest was actually happening but then I didn’t have time, so deal with it. I have fun doing these. And it helps stave off the withdrawal.

I want your Grandma yum yum -Honestly this is such Eurovision chaos and I lowkey love it even if I also find the song a little annoying even if it’s also catchy -I just feel happy when I see them, this is the weirdness I like getting a taste of at Eurovision -My one critique is I think it would have been better if they all had the same shoes instead of two of the dancers wearing heels. I just prefer the sneakers 9/10

Moldova train boys -Traditional meets contemporary, we love to see it -I wasn’t sure about the hoodie and the hat at first, but you know what? Why not? -This is what Eurovision is about -The colours and patterns match the fun energy of the song perfectly -Nothing else to say 10/10

Chanel No. 10 -I’m probably about to get cancelled for my opinion on this -I like the matador theme and the sparkles and the mesh -But I would have liked it better if it were a regular body suit instead of a thong -There’s nothing wrong with her body, or the body of anyone who wants to rock this look -I just don’t like the thong aesthetic and it looks uncomfortable 7/10

Onesie spaceman -Yes, I know, technically it’s a JUMPSUIT -Fits the vibe of the song fairly well and I like that he went with something we haven’t seen before in the whole show this year -Glittery and space themed without being ugly and gaudy, which I appreciate -Still not my favourite, but not bad 7/10

The Champions -More traditional and contemporary, we love to see it -Not sure how I feel about the full-body suit/balaclava thing, even though I like the traditional patterns and it’s not like anything else this year -That pink bucket hat is so of the moment and while I wondered at times how he could see, it only reminded me of wishing other people let me be with my pink bucket hat as a child instead of telling me to flip the brim up to see my eyes, so I vibe with it -Also that guy with the big feathery costume looks very interesting even though I don’t know what he’s supposed to be. 10/10

Latvian Vegan Wiggles -As soon as I saw the purple guy and the yellow guy they reminded me of the Wiggles -They want us to eat our salad, which I can only assume includes fruit salad -I liked their energy and colourful looks even if there was a fair bit of chest on display, which isn’t my favourite 9.5/10

A ya ya -He’s so cute and I like his voice -This look fits the vibe of his Western-y song, which is an important aspect of a Eurovision outfit -But I thought it was kind of uninteresting compared to others in the contest this year 7/10

Let the waaaaaaater carry me away -I know I just said Stefan’s look was a little boring, but while Ochman’s is also somewhat traditional I still really liked it -The blue ribbons representing the water really fit well with the song even if it didn’t always show up super well in the lighting -Also, he’s classically trained, so this outfit carries a bit of his history along with it -Anytime someone does something different than a plain black and regular tie is a victory for more interesting developments in men’s suits 8/10

Disko Kids -ISTG the difficulty I had trying to find decent photos of these wonderful, wonderful suits -Retro, velvet, nice colours, gender neutral, what’s not to love? -These kids were done dirty by the voting they should have been in the final -Rocking these badass 70s suits 10/10

Systur says Trans Rights -I know my posts about fashion are kind of silly but I want to end on a serious moment and say that this is one of the most important Eurovision looks this year -I could have talked about how pretty these women looked onstage, because they did, but this is more important -One of them is the mother of a trans boy and the whole group has been promoting trans rights in their clothes throughout the contest, and I love that they were wearing these shirts and stuff during their interviews -I love that they carried a trans flag at the competition, too -Also, the same article about one of them having a trans son said one of the other sisters is a lesbian, so stop saying lesbian rights and trans rights are in conflict because they’re not -I hope lots of people will listen to them 10/10

#Eurovision #Eurovision 2022 #Systur #Ochman #Stefan #Subwoolfer #zdob şi zdub & advahov brothers #citi zēni #Citi Zeni #Zdob si Zdub #Sam Ryder #LPS

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thatoneidiotdts · 3 years

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Sleeping (+morning routine) headcanons for some genshin boys

A/n: hello ladies and gentlemen I'm happy to announce that I may be back now that my life has decided to stop throwing endless shit at me. Now I also write for genshin so feel free to send asks in my inbox!!

Warnings: nightmares for xiao, favoritism in diluc's part, purposeful misspelling and slander in C*ilde's part,overall tooth rotting fluff

Zhong li

Sleeps like a rock (pun intended)

This man will not wake up unless there is an emergency

No matter how much noise you make or whatever is going on around him he'll stay there laying in bed completely silent

His breathing is so quiet you think he's dead half the time if not for his endless sleep talking

And you can actually have full on conversations with him while he's asleep

Also he sleeps in a solider position which leaves you to cling on him like a koala on a big ass tree

Sleeps in really soft bamboo pyjamas that you bought for him

Zhong li will only wake up at exactly 7:30 am no matter if it's a week day or a weekend/ his day off

He also doesn't stay in bed for more than 10 minutes unless as stated before its his day off and you aren't awake yet

The man will stay there taking in the sunshine rays from the window as he's looking at your peaceful face

After an hour or two hell rub your back and gently wake you up with forehead kisses while softly calling your name

When you finally wake up you usually start with the morning hygiene and whatnot

Also he will ask you if you want to take a morning bath together but absolutely respects you decision if you won't and you don't need to even give him a reason you declined in the first place but will make sure you know he loves you no matter what

After that he will sit down with you and drink tea and have breakfast with you for the next two hours

It's the only reason he wakes up so early

T̵̻̦̥͌͝e̸̟̗̮̮͌a̷̙͕͉̿̍͝

After that he goes to do his usual shift at the wangsheng funeral parlor

Venti

Menace to society

He either sleeps sprawled out in a starfish position with his arm and leg over your body or in a fetal position with his face buried in your breasts/chest

He usually sleeps in your clothes or in his everyday clothes

His little snores are super cute tho

Venti's snoring isn't super loud, it's actually really quiet but still there

Since he's a bard he stays at the Angel's share until it closes which is usually very late into the night so he sleeps until like 2pm

He isn't a heavy sleeper so you usually accidentally wake him up if you have some errands to run early in the morning

Venti will cling to you and pretend that he's asleep so that you can stay in bed with him

After like 20 minutes of this he finally let's you go and makes you promise him that you'll be back quickly

When you returned to your shared house from doing commissions you found him still sleeping in the bed so you quietly took a shower and snuggled in with him for another hour or two

After he finally wakes up for real this time he has breakfast lunch with you and goes off to Angel's share but not before giving you a thousand kisses

Kaeya

He's sleep schedule is ON POINT

He always gets back from Angel's share at exactly 1:00am, showers, eats and does his skin care routine and gets in bed around 1:30am

He also wakes up at exactly 9am but stays in bed until ten

He trashes through the night, he also talks in his sleep but it really weird and it's mostly things that are in English but you can't understand them at all

Kaeya is also a blanket snatcher and will snatch your blanket if you aren't holding it tightly

I feel like he also sleeps with socks on but has a few special pairs of socks that have some cute patterns that he would rather be caught working with the fatui by his own brother than wear them outside once

Also sleeps in silk pyjamas, doesn't care if the cotton ones are easier to breathe through, he likes the feeling of silk on his skin

Kaeya loves his personal space and he doesn't like to be touched while he sleeps but makes up for it when he's awake but still in bed

The only exception is when it's cold outside, I headcannon he's naturally cold and he doesn't like it at all

His morning routine is 90% of him taking care of his face and showering

His skincare routine is also more expensive than some people's houses so don't touch his products plz

Kaeya will gladly teach you the basics of skin care and will buy you your own products that thinks will suit your skin better

He's also almost late to work every day so every day you see him put on his shoes calmly, take in a deep breath and then he kisses you goodbye and runs off like a mad man in order to get to the headquarters on time

Diluc

He has so much unprocessed trauma I would be surprised is sleep schedule is anything but a mess

Diluc doesn't sleep a lot, he would have a normal sleep schedule but since he has a lot of stuff to do all the time it stops him from sleeping property

Not only does he work as a bartender at Angel's share when Charles can't he also works as the Mondstat's one and only Dark Night Hero

He usually comes home around 4 or 5 am and will only sleep until like 8 and you will have to force him to have a nap in the afternoon

Also he sleeps in his everyday clothing and he's sometimes too tired to even take his coat off

Diluc sleeps on his stomach which causes him to have back and neck problems but it's the only way he can actually fall asleep

He's a really light sleeper which also adds up to his sleeping problem

Also he snores loudly, like really loudly, and he only snores at night for some weird reason

You discovered that because one day you accidentally woke up at like 6 am and you couldn't fall back asleep because of his loud snoring but you didn't dare to move since you knew how little rest he gets

He's not a morning person at all, if he didn't hate alcohol, he would be the person that chugs half a bottle of vodka in the morning just to keep him awake

Diluc usually starts his morning off with some personal hygiene and then starts doing the endless paperwork without even having breakfast or anything to drink

So out will have to force him to eat and drink so that he doesn't pass out from work

On the rare days he doesn't have any work to do he usually sleeps them off to make up for the time he didn't sleep

Albedo

Chalk boy over here also has a terrible sleep schedule

He's not really forcing himself to stay up but rather doesn't realize how late it is

You will have to pull him out of his work in order for him to go to sleep

Albedo has a special pair of pyjamas that he wears when he's sleeping and he only wears them because for his last birthday Klee has given him a pair of pyjamas that were originally grey but she hand painted them herself with the help of Jean and Lisa and he's been sleeping in them ever since

And when i say every day I mean every day

But don't worry he hand washes them every two days and takes special care of them in order to not wash of the fabric paint

His snores are also really quiet and quite cute, I recommend commenting on that if you wanna see him blush ^-^

Albedo usually sleeps on his stomach but unlike Diluc he is small enough to not crush you under his weight so he usually sleeps with his head on your stomach or buried in your neck

Pease touch his hair he melts when you do

Albedo can sleep for a looonng time if you don't wake him up so he relies on you to wake him up or else he'll spend the next 16 hours in bed sleeping without a care in the wold

When he wake up he does his usual morning routine, which is usually a quick shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth and his hair out, and then goes off to work

He will absolutely make you have a nap with him in the afternoon or whenever he feels tired

Xiao

He doesn't sleep much, hell I don't this man sleeps at all sometimes

Adepti don't really require sleep or food like normal humans do

It took a lot of time for him to trust you enough to sleep besides him

Xiao doesn't feel safe while sleeping at all, he also fears that his karmic dept might take affect on you so he keeps his distance for quite some time

For the first month or two he would wear his normal every day clothes but then you gift him a cute plain green onesie and at first he straight up refused to put 'that thing' on but he gave in and hasn't sleep in anything else since

At first he would be the big spoon so that he can protect you from any harm but when you spooned him for the first time he felt so safe and warm he never wanted to let go of that feeling ever again

After that he would ask you under his breath if you could spoon him more often, you barely understood what he was saying but perfectly understood what he wanted and needed.

He also regularly has nightmares which causes him to trash around and maybe whack you in the face once or twice but you're quick to calm him down

Xiao never really realized that he was hurting you until he gently hugged you and you winced because he accidentally touched the small mark he left the previous night after having another nightmare

Doesn't touch you or sleep with you for a week after that, he already hurt you enough but you don't really care so you coaxed him into sleeping with you again very easily since he missed your warmth a lot

He doesn't really have a morning routine but he does wake up every morning before you so that he can teleport to the Huaguang Stone Forest to pick some Qingxin flowers for you

He's also gets back into your arms right before you wake up so that it seems like he never left in the first place

But you always notice the new fresh bouquet of the beautiful white flower on your desk and thank him for it

T*rtaglia

Listen here ok I'mma be real with y'all

Turbulence sleeps exactly one hour less than normal people but makes it seem like he gets like 2 hours of sleep per night

"Ugh I didn't sleep last night at all😩😏" Like bro stfu

He also makes jokes about sleeping so little because he was with you last night or that he was training so hard or doing a mountain of paper work

While you know damn well he was with you entire night sleeping like a baby right by your side

He sleeps naked solely so that one day when a hypothetical intruder gets into your home he can scare them off by yelling at them while being completely naked 💀

But he will put a pair of pyjamas on if you're uncomfortable

He mostly sleeps on his side because he needs to hold something while he's sleeping, if you aren't with him that night he will hug your pillow and sleep like that

Tagliatelle also doesn't like to sleep when in a cold room so he will have one of those water bottles that people use for back pain and will put one in the pillow he's holding and two in the blanket itself

He's totally a morning person and has no problem with getting out of the bed in less than like 10 minutes unless you ask him not to

If he has a day off he won't sleep in that much but he will curl up beside you and 'accidentally' place his head on your boobs/chest

Y'all saying Terrorism is the caring older brother? WRONG he's the forgotten middle child. we ofc know about Tonia, Anthon and Teucer but he also has two older brothers and at least one older sister

I feel like he's the middle child that had to take all the responsibilities when the older three/four moved out

So yeah he can make a damn fine breakfast for you without skipping a beat

But don't let me even start on his personal hygiene

Like shower are fine ok and he baths once a week only because he can but like

I know damn well his back teeth are ROTTING

He only uses mouthwash and brushes the front and bottom part of the teeth so that they look presentable meanwhile his back teeth got their souls sucked out

Moving on from that Tellurium can't really spend the whole morning with you so he will have to leave you late in the morning.

Coffee? :>

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ace-of-gay · 2 years

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Cuddles fix it all

(They/them) used as collective for all instead of single gender defining pronouns

Warnings: age regression, names like daddy, little one, baby. Mention of pull-ups and sippy cup and paci. This was falsely labeled as ddl(gn) at one point

Edited to the best of my ability.

》~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~《

Itd been a long four days of loki gone on a mission, a long four days without regressing because no one makes you feel as safe as he does, he got home last night and went to the bathroom to take a long warm shower after stopping in the kitchen watching you work on your newest painting, placing his palm on your waist amon his hoodie you stole and placed a kiss to your cheek.

Stressed out of your mind you take ten minutes

To have a snack and you were off to your room.

Walking in the lights are turned low and he had layed out pajamas which consisted of one of your comfy band shirts and a pair of his sweats.

You change quickly and get into bed, your mind fogging over from the stress, you didn't notice him come into the room until the bed dipped on his side and slender yet firm arms wrapped around your waist pulling your back to his chest and peppering kisses to your neck and back of your sholder.

A genuine sigh leaving your chest, "i love you so much, im glad youre back" you murmur before curling up still in his hold, "i love you to baby", did he say that to ease you into little space or is he just being kind, a part of you hoped that it was the first one but you dont want to be a hassle so for now you decided to stay big.

Drifing off to sleep in his arms and letting his presence encapsulate you but not even three hours later you wake to the sound of thunder, normally this wouldn't cause any problem but you had slipped in your sleep and didn't have your stuffy or paci so when the second round of thunder cracked and reverberated through the apartment your body tensed up enough for loki to wake, your breathing getting a bit more rapid, all you want to your daddys love.

"Whats wrong bug, i can hear your little world spinning" you melt into the sensation of his forehead pressed to your back, his arms loosening enough, urging you to roll over and so you do. "Daddy, da funder loud, don' wike it" you whine into his chest, pushing yourself impossibly closer.

His hands running up and down your back and cooing when you grab the front of his shirt in you smaller hands, "i got you little one, being so brave for me" he follows his statement with sweet praise and a kiss to the crown of your head.

"How bout we get you into something better for being little, yea?" You nod letting him pick you up and carry you to the bathroom, stripping you of the pajamas and undergarments, helping you into a pull-up and discarding the clothes in the hamper. Grabbing a fluffy onesie and the hoodie from earlier, getting you all cozy in the new clothes, he picks you back up, placing you on his hip taking you to the kitchen and getting a sippy cup of juice and your paci you discarded on the counter the day he left, washing it than getting you to take it.

On your way back to the room you spot your favorite stuffy (stuffys name) on the couch making grabby hands followed by a little chirp of plea from behind your paci, he goes and bends down enough for you to grab it, pulling (s/n) to your chest and laying your head against lokis sholder, "there we go little one, just needed daddy to take of you huh?" "Mhm" you hum in agreement, he sits down in the bed with you in his lap clicking a button to turn on a night light, giving you your sippy cup and turning on a pixar movie for background sound and pulling you to lay down resting your head upon his chest, paci clipped to the hoodie and stuffy squished between you and him, helping hold the sippy cup with one hand so you dont drop it while laying down and running his hand through your hair soothin you almost back to sleep, having completely forgotten about the thunder. He takes the empty sippy from you and replacing it with your paci placing one last careful kiss to your forehead and falling asleep with you in his arms, safe with the person you call home.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Requests/ asks are welcome, let me know what you think <3

#loki x reader fluff #loki x you #loki x little! reader #loki imagine #loki x gender neutral reader #daddy!loki #daddy loki #daddy loki oneshot #daddy loki x little reader #little reader #little! reader

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the-witty-pen-name · 3 years

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The Nanny Pt. 7

18+ ONLY

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

Warnings: cursing, angst, alcohol mention, food mention/eating, grief, yearning, corrupt cop, age gap (reader is in her 20s)

Based on this Request: The reader moves to Meade/Knockemstiff while answering an advertisement for a nanny in the paper. We learn that the ad was posted by Sandy, who has the reader watch her child whenever she and Carl leave to do their secret thing. After one of these trips, Sandy and her husband never return, so the reader is left caring for their baby. With the new investigation into these events, she meets Sandy’s brother Lee, the older, out of shape, alcoholic bachelor, and they are suddenly thrown into each others lives as he begins looking into his sister’s disappearance. Through it all, Lee starts to fall for her, and they slowly become a family.

Word Count: not sure- wrote it on my phone maybe 2k?

Series Masterlist / Previous Part

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy! I will reblog with the taglist soon. Let me know what you think! Reblogs are always appreciated as well!

Every movement is frantic. It’s with urgency that his arms pull you in as close as he can manage as his hands wander. Your arms wrap around his neck to bring yourself into him, even though there was no space left between you. Nimble fingers work to undo the buttons of his uniform- anything to just feel each other. Nothing is spoken and yet, you both move with such certainty and so succinctly. Soon enough, with his lips kissing and biting down your neck as you move, you find yourself pressed against the door of his bedroom and he fumbles to get the door open.

The screaming cry of the baby makes you both jump away, eyes wide and startled out of your daze. Again, it’s all unspoken, and your fluidity of motion shifts in a new direction. Without hesitation, you're in her room scooping her into your arms as you hear Lee mutter something about getting her bottle. You try your best to not think about what just- what could have just happened, and instead work to shush the little girl back to sleep. You rock her in your arms, and walk slowly around her room- navigating around the boxes of her things Lee has yet to unpack, understandably. All of this- everything has just changed so quickly. You can’t fault him for not having prioritized putting onesies in a dresser.

Lee’s coming back with a bottle but decides to hang back a moment in the doorway before making his presence known. He selfishly gives himself a few minutes to just observe the situation before him. He can’t help but smile at the sight. You’re here, unfazed that you're still in clothes drenched by the rain, and all you focus on is humming a soft lullaby to the crying baby. It’s probably not wise, but he allows himself to be a little selfish and just take in the moment, pretend it’s something just a little more than a shit show. You’re here- you came here. For him? He hopes so. Or maybe it was her- and that’s fine with him too. It doesn’t matter really. For now, it’s like life is far from broken.

She needs you. He knows that better than anything. He’s certain. He can see the way you treat her- love her. She without a doubt needs you as a constant presence in her life. What other stability does she have? Granted she won’t remember any of this but he hopes she’ll grow up knowing you. Lee thinks he can’t be this person the way you can. He’s not the person who can be a good parent, he’s convinced. He’s not selfless the same way you are. He’s not a good person. He has done and continues to do bad things. He wants to be better and be who his niece needs, but he can’t do it both all alone.

She needs you.

He needs you.

“Here,” he says when he finally snaps himself out of his daydream. You take the bottle from him and offer it to Valerie, instantly soothing her tears.

You sit on an unopened box while she sips on the bottle, and Lee takes a seat in another across from you. The only light in the room is the little bit of light from the street lamp outside through the crevices of the shade, and the nightlight plugged in near the crib.

You sit in silence, neither one of you knowing what to say. As Valerie settles down and you have nothing to redirect your attention, the air in the room grows heavy and the silence begins to feel awkward. It’s excruciating, the silence, and it’s eating you both alive. What do you even say in a situation like this? Is there even anything to say that even begins to describe whatever it was dancing between the two of you?

You don’t even know how much time passes as you two sit there, but eventually when Val finishes the bottle, she’s back asleep, snuggling herself close to your chest. You get up carefully, and gently place the girl back into her crib. You and Lee share a knowing look, to not try to talk until you’re both out of the nursery. He gestures for you to walk out first, and then he follows, very slowly closing the door behind him.

With his hand just grazing your lower back, he leads you to the living room to sit down. You take a seat on the couch, your eyes fixated on a very faint ring on the coffee table in front of you. You were finding it so hard to make eye contact. Neither one of you knowing what to say, or wanting to be the first one to speak.

You hadn’t realized Lee had even left until he comes back with two mugs and offers one to you. You mumble a shy thank you, and the coffee instantly helps warm you up. You had been too distracted before to realize how cold you were from being soaked by the rain. He also has a towel under his arm that he drapes over your shoulders, before he takes a seat next to you.

Lee’s feeling more self conscious than usual. This was the side of him, he didn’t want you to see. He’s sure you can smell the alcohol practically coming out of his pores, and he’s in desperate need of a shave. He’s been in these clothes for the past couple of days, not being able to even find the time or the energy. They’re covered in Val’s spit up, and he’s more aware of his tummy when he isn’t in uniform. He wanted to have this part of him sorted out already, he wants to impress you. He doesn’t know why. He knows why, but he’s not ready to admit it to himself yet. After everything that’s happened, on top of it all, he can’t face the rejection from you.

You’re both hurting, and he convinces himself the kiss was nothing more than a desperate attempt for comfort. It had to be, he thinks. You’re both grieving, both tied up in a horrible twist of fate that affected you both. He can’t even think about how Sandy- his kid sister Sandy, is gone. Now that he’s lost her, he can’t also lose you. Valerie can’t lose you, and he can’t let his harboring crush ruin the one good thing she has going for her right now.

You make it so hard for him to resist you. You don’t even know the effect you have on him, but just sitting here with you makes his head spin. He desperately wants to just feel you wrapped up in his arms again, but the small glimpse he got earlier needs to be enough. He doesn’t have a choice. He’s not making choices for himself, he can’t. Not just yet.

“I’m sorry,” you say softly, finally cutting through the silence, “I- I don’t know why I came.”

“I’m happy you did.”

“This is a horrible thing to bring up right now,” you chuckle, holding back a sob, “but I don’t know what to do- you’re grieving the loss of your sister and I’m just worried about my job…”

“I want you to stay as her nanny,” he insists, quickly, his voice actually sounding relieved- even if only a little. “She needs you, if you want to… I also understand if you want to distance yourself from this…”

“I don’t want to leave her,” you insist. He actually manages a smile.

“We’ll figure out the details, when we finally manage to get back on our feet,” he reasons, and you nod in agreement, “but don’t worry about your job.”

“Thank you,” you smile, tightening the towel around you.

“Do- do you want me to drive you home?” He offers, hesitantly, not wanting you to go, but also not brave enough to ask you to stay. “Or- if you’d be comfortable, you can take the couch- if you want.”

“I won’t put you out- I should be getting back. I don’t mind walking…”

“I want you to stay,” he admits, and you find yourself unable to tear away from his gaze. His blue eyes have never bore so much emotion to you before. The practically desperate plea that tugs at his voice is straining his strong front.

His gaze is so heavy, practically spilling his heart out to you with just one look. It’s telling- no, it’s exposing. It’s him opening up his chest and pulling his heart out to give to you while it’s still beating. There’s no more games, or the little cat and mouse facade. It’s emphatically him, and the pull that keeps tethering him back to you.

When you were little, you remember a phrase that was taught to you in an attempt to keep you away from sin, or following down the wrong path.

When you dance with the devil, the devil don’t change.

Forever entangling you with your choices and bad decisions. Once you go down some roads, there’s no turning back from them. The path disappears behind you, and you can’t go back and start again. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t- because how can you live a life worth living if you don’t risk your fate.

Your fate is sealed when you kiss him.

This time it’s different. It’s purposeful and methodical, no doubt that it is indeed your conscious choice to close the spaces between the two of you. It’s so slow, it feels almost agonizing. He’s so warm, and his heat just feels so inviting that you can’t help yourself when you get pulled in.

He doesn’t even know you. He can count the interactions you’ve shared almost on one hand. But he knows, and can attest to the fact that he’s never felt this before. He doesn’t think it’s accurate to call it love- not just yet. But it shares many of the same qualities. It’s intoxicating, and simultaneously mesmerizing. It’s more than just an attraction or an infatuation- it’s a burning need to be close to you, and to immerse himself in you.

Lee’s fate was sealed long before he met you, as he made deals with his own devils. Addicted to all the material things and the power, but he feels that pull of addiction with you. And you’re the best thing he can be addicted to, a beacon of something wholeheartedly good- tugging him to be good enough for someone like you.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

His words cut through you and it’s nothing short of paralyzing. He’s gentle, and you could have seen how much it pains him to push you away if you yourself weren’t hurting from his words. You feel a million things at once. Shame, embarrassment, anger, confusion… everything desperately trying to be the forefront of your brain at once that nothing can form into anything coherent at all. It’s maddening, and all you can do is sit there dumbfounded when the man who asked you to stay is now shutting you out.

He tries to explain, and of course, he’s thinking of the little girl asleep down the hall. It’s unfair to her to put his emotions and his wants ahead of what she needs. She needs you, he believes more than she needs him. It’s a cynical and self deprecating thought to have but he can’t imagine what he can offer her if not you. It’s not rational, but not once has he ever thought rationally. She needs you, and he can risk being the one who rips you from her life.

“Valerie- she, we need to put her first. I need to be putting her first,” he sighs. You nod, still unable to even come up with something to say. You put yourself out and offered to let him in, and he just shut you out. Of course, he’s doing the right thing, but it still fucking hurts. It shakes you, and forces you out of your own daze you’d fallen in with regards to him.

You walk home in the early hours of morning with tear stained cheeks. You refused a ride from Lee, and refused to say a word as you left. You walk home like you’re on the brink of breaking into fragments. Your body is guiding you, but your brain is fogged and your eyes are weighing heavy. It’s 4am and you’re back in bed right where you started before Julie even woke up to notice you gone.

Lee’s on his couch, laying back with Valerie pulled in close to his chest as she sleeps. His mind is too busy with thoughts of you to allow him to even get a couple of hours of much needed rest. Her weight on him is comforting, and the feel of her in his arms is what he tries to focus on. She’s blissfully unaware of all the events that occurred in the house tonight, and her soft snores seem to be the only thing that helps calm his nerves. He rubs her back gently, rubbing in small circles and he watches her eyelashes flutter in her sleep and he tries to imagine what she’s dreaming about.

When you slept, it felt like only a second passed between when your eyes closed to when the bright sun woke you up. Your head hurt, and your eyelids still felt heavy, but you were nonetheless very much awake. You cringe, when the memory of last night immediately comes to mind. You needed to let go of this weight on your back, you needed to will yourself up and into the shower- just do anything besides think of Lee and the way your stomach churns thinking about his rejection.

You shower and get dressed and by the time you emerge from your room, you realize it’s 11am and Julie has long since left for work hours ago. You can’t think of one place in town you could go without the worry of running into him. His cruiser could be anywhere, and it made you want to go back to your bed and bury yourself under your blankets. You rationalize with yourself that you can’t let your fear of facing him again stop you. If you didn’t completely blow it last night, you still were Valerie’s nanny and that meant facing him everyday.

You slip on your shoes, and decide to at least venture out for a walk down to the dinner. Get a coffee, maybe something for an early lunch, and then just come back home. It was a simple task with a clear directive- and a conveniently short route which meant less of a chance of running into the sheriff. Your plan failed miserably when you opened the door and saw Lee with his hand up like he was just about to knock.

He holds up a pastry box and smiles sheepishly. He looks much better than when you last saw him. Clean shaven and in a freshly ironed uniform. His eyes were a little bit brighter and the heavy lines from lack of sleep under his eyes had faded. His cheeks are a little pink, and you can’t help but find the gesture endearing.

“I brought you breakfast,” he says, his voice hesitant. It’s like he’s worried one wrong move and the door may slam in his face. You smile, crossing your arms over your torso because of how awkward you feel as you step aside to let him in.

He stands out in your apartment. The apartment is very much decorated like two eclectic twenty-something disasters. He has a small smirk on his face looking around, observing your space and taking it all in. You mumble an apology for the little bits of clutter and you busy yourself by clearing the mess of record sleeves and magazines off of the coffee table. He takes a seat on your couch, and lets himself relax down into it. He opens up the pastry box and places it down on the coffee table.

“I- I wasn’t sure what you liked so I got one of everything,” he says shyly, and you grin. One of every kind of muffin the dinner sold lined up in rows and packaged up just for you.

“I came to apologize,” he began, and you took a seat in your armchair, wanting to keep your distance so you didn’t do anything else stupid.

“I didn’t handle myself well last night. I didn’t say what I was trying to convey to you, and it came out wrong. I hurt you, and I am so sorry,” he begins. “It wasn’t that I didn’t want you to kiss me, or that I’m not interested, or that I wanted to push you away. I wanted it, I really honestly do. And that kiss was- just… wow. I couldn’t stop thinking about it- well I still can’t stop thinking about it. And- and I realized that I need to put her first. As badly as I want to- I don’t know, kiss you again, ask you out- I can’t risk it not working out and it affecting her.

I see how you are with her, and you’re so great for her. And she needs you and I can’t fuck that up and I can’t risk whatever this is threatening that. I don’t know what I’m doing. I honestly have no idea what it takes to take care of a baby. If you left, I don’t know what I’d do. I can’t, I can’t raise her without you.”

You didn’t know your heart could ache so much. This longing that’s tugging at you is unexplainable. You don’t know him- but you desperately want to. It’s pulling you in and just breaking you with every step. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to him, or to Val or even to you to let yourself get so caught up in something you don’t understand. It’s a relief within itself to know that it’s not just you. He feels this too.

“I’m sorry,” you admit, looking down at your lap, “I’m sorry I left- and I don’t know what this is- or what happened, but you’re right and I know that. But you have my word, I promise I’m not going to let this affect my work with Valerie.”

“So- I guess I came here to ask you, if you still want to do this. If we’re on the same page, nothing between us can happen, for her sake. And we keep our rel- we keep it professional. Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

#lee bodecker x reader #lee bodecker #lee bodecker x y/n #lee bodecker x f!reader #The Devil All The Time #the nanny #series #x reader #the devil all the time fan fiction #tdatt fan fiction #tdatt fan fic #sebastian stan characters #lee bodecker fanfiction #lee bodecker fan fic #nanny reader #x nanny!reader #sheriff lee bodecker #sheriff bodecker x reader

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gloryofluv · 3 years

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"Oh Baby!" Time Traveling Child? The Younger Brothers React to It Being Their Child.

The rain was absolutely horrendous so seeing a demonic version of yourself completely soaked and coddling a bundle was hard enough as it was. What the fuck? This probably is bad.

“Here! Please, I don’t have time! Take the baby, [Insert name] is the father! I’m sorry, I have to go!”

Future self. Time travel. Giant mess. Now… a toddler.

The Older Brothers with Their Child

The Dateables with Their Child (Luke's reaction to Simeon's)

Satan’s Child-

Oh, brother. If anyone, and I mean anyone, was any more excited to be a dad, it was this boi. You explain the oddity, and it doesn’t phase him on the surface, at least. Inside, his brain is moving a mile a minute. Doesn’t spew about the concept of time and reality theories. He clearly sees you’re overwhelmed.

Dad mode shifts into high gear. Creates a twelve-point plan with variances. Immediately gets on the horn with all the contacts he thinks could make both your lives easier to request returns on favors. Orders a vast amount of parenting books for pickup from the shop so he can just grab them when he runs into town for both of you.

Knows his room is definitely not the safest for the child. Books everywhere. Insistent on staying with you in yours until he organizes his room to be more child-friendly. Only leaves you two for a short period to do the shopping, comes back with more than intended.

Refuses. REFUSES Lucifer’s help. Suck it, bitch. He’s a dad first! He’s absolutely determined to master being a father even if his child grates his nerves. However, being angry with either of you is NEVER an option now. Moderate to coach, but willing to listen, especially since you’re the other parent.

Magic? Oh, yes. Especially in his room once it’s prepared for all three of you to move back into it. Cat stuffed animals. Cat-eared onesies. The child might as well be part cat. However, cats are now officially replaced as his favorite. His child is number one. You’re a very, very close second.

His child will have tantrums but be highly intelligent. Picture books, kitty cats, and his papa are the only things that quell them. Oh, and please, for the love of everything sane… be sure to have patience. That baby is going to be a master manipulator and Lucifer torturer. However, father and child will love you infallibly for eternity.

Asmodeus’s Child-

Dun, dun, dun! Plot twist! He’s so on board, and honey, you’re just the ticket for his partner in crime. Really doesn’t care how it happened after you said it was most definitely both of yours. A demon you from the future? Okay! Promises. Promises!

Probably the easiest of the brothers to convince to let you stay in your own room. Not because he doesn’t love you. No, it’s all about space! You and the baby will have your bedroom completely redecorated! Don’t even think you’re getting out of having him stay with you or having a crib in his room for nights you’re up there!

Already has a giant shopping list. Ordered and special ordered, babe. No child of his will walk around in semi-cute things! Doesn’t have a gender preference, so expect both dresses and handsome onesies. Googoo gaga for clothing. You will be pampered as well, so you best get used to trio sessions with him painting your nails while rocking his little cutie in their bouncing chair.

Super excited to take this next step. You’re officially never leaving him! Sorry, Solomon, you have replaced him indefinitely now, both of you. Just celebratory and giggly all the time, often asking his brothers to hold the baby so he can take tons of pictures. All the pictures. All the time.

A little grossed out about the changing and boogers but will do it for you and the little beautiful 'Mini Asmo.' Bath time is the best. Cuddle time, you guessed it, is the best. Everything the three of you do together is the best moment of his life, and it gets better and better. Lessons of life will be showered in sweet tips to his child. Beautiful is about living it, baby!

His baby will be a charmer, the sweetie demon who everyone falls in love with immediately. Or… he will make them. Expect your family to be chaotic in the best way. High fashion family with tons of love.

Beelzebub’s Child-

Sweet boi doesn’t get it at first. You, him, a baby? How? Lucifer specifically said that demons have to have sex to make them. Oh, this is a future thing? Wait, you both had sex? In the future?

Cue bright blush and a smile as he rubs the back of his neck. Well. Now what? Immediately asks Lucifer. Not because he’s dumb, but he really really doesn’t want to mess this up. Lucifer sits you both down and carefully designs a plan. He will follow this plan to the letter, with no variation unless you ask for it.

Very quick to hold the baby. It’s so small and definitely needs protecting. Nestled in his sweater, he’ll take it around the house while following this plan. Obviously, you can’t move in with him and Belphie, so he moves around your room with you before reluctantly leaving you and the baby behind to go shopping.

Calls Satan while out. Asks about the books he needs. What food should he buy? If Satan doesn’t have an answer, he’ll call Lucifer. Very much a concerned boi about getting this right for you and the baby. Will return home with too much food, many books, and clothing he wasn’t sure about but got it anyway.

You will have to take the lead on care. Show him. Teach him. Love him, please??? He won’t push, shove, or complain about what space you might need with this dramatic change. Just wants to be there with you and support you and the baby so badly.

Ends up sleeping in your room every night. If the baby is crying late, he’ll get up, get it a bottle, and himself a midnight snack. Talks to the baby all the time about you. He is just so happy and enraptured because he knows now you really are family, the three of you. Won’t ever yell, but will listen if you say certain rules your baby needs to follow. Strict on the routine for your sake. Great gentle dad.

His child will be sweet and gentle and likely always hungry. However, the easiest baby to care for and love. A big demon fan of yours and papa is in full support (you’ll always be protected then by him and the baby.) The sweetest, most natural family, full of love, and of course food.

Belphegor’s Child-

If you can manage to wake him. Telling him is a different type of adventure. He understands about realities, shifts in time, etc. He even gets the possibility of you being corrupted enough to become a demon. However, the child in your arms… his?

He had dreams about you being a happy family one day. Not that he wanted to be a father, per se. However, the idea of sticking it to Lucifer was there. This. Well… He wasn’t expecting it at all.

The conversation was easily a partnership about a plan. He would stay with you in your room; however, he apologized ahead of time for his lack of care. He worries about his sleepiness and affecting you and the baby. Things are ordered, items are built in record time.

The first cuddle sleep session between him and his baby is the seal of the deal. From then on, you're fucked if you think you’re going to pry that baby from his hands. Surprisingly alert about when it wakes up or needs something. (Stay at home dad??? Yep!)

He is actually less sleepy and more of an equal participant in both your lives. Shouldering much of the burden for you while letting you get precious hours of sleep at night. He carries the baby in his sweater with his pillow pressed under it. Loves hard. Really hard. This is both of your child, and he’s so fucking proud.

I repeat. You really have to pry your child from him. He is in full dad mode when he’s awake. Trips to the Planetarium, the attic, out in the garden with Beel. All the things his child needs to learn and know… yes, including all the dastardly plans he has in store for Lucifer.

Pushover for his child. Makes you be the bad guy. Often. Too much in love with both of you to give two shits about if his spawn is spoiled rotten, so does it all the time… to your greatest detriment. However, he makes it up with sweet kisses and so much love.

His child is probably the most devious. Not quite as sleepy as papa, but definitely devious. Finds ways to con Lucifer into letting them have their way and knows how often. Proud papa with so much love for the two of you. Don’t expect to ever leave their side… you’ll never be alone again, that’s for sure!

#accidental baby acquisition #obey me fandom #om! headcanons #obey me headcanons #om! mc #obey me humor #om! satan #om! asmodeus #om! beelzebub #om! belphegor

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janumun · 3 years

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A [Cat] Parent's Memoirs of Pregnancy ft. Spouse (Pregnancy Headcanons)

Game: Shall We Date: Obey Me! Rating: General Audience/SFW Tags: pregnancy sweetness (and shenanigans)

Summary: Satan's approach and reaction to having a baby with his S/O.

Author's Notes: YESSSS YOU CAN @niphredil-14. 💚💛 This is cute and very, very warm. I tossed in between giving him either fur babies or demon babies (he deserves both!), and chose this! I hope you enjoy your read. 💚

Requests for this event are now (long) closed, dear readers. Thank you to all those who participated!

Perhaps three or twelve feline babies later, the two of you might plan on making a hybrid child — with two hands and two legs, five fingers on each and absolutely no fur in sight.

Satan would prefer waiting until your youngest adopted foundling — a tiny, dark slip of a cat — is well into its second year in this world before he decides to try for a baby, of your own flesh and blood. A decision he hardly takes in frivolity. Every vulnerable life, be it cat or person, is important and requires adequate care; Satan is very well aware of the fact.

When the two of you discover you are with child, happiness trumps within alongside multiple plans he’s already running through his head for the arrival of your child. Unfortunately, his immediate task on the agenda is informing Lucifer about the upcoming arrival — fighting for board for his adopted cats’ was Hell enough, war waged with you by his side — lest Lucifer demand he find elsewhere for the two of you to care for your baby. He’s going to stomp out of the House of Lamentation if Lucifer so much as suggests displeasure at your child.

Begrudgingly — and as frightening as it is to witness this conversation in between the two brothers, you fear you might almost collapse at how tensed you are watching the two glare at each other — though your demon breaks the news, and perhaps almost surprising for Satan, Lucifer greets the news with good cheer.

Claret gaze warming in affection as it slides towards you before he congratulates the two of you on your pregnancy.

Suffice to say, once his other brothers are informed of the news, they’re gathering over to express surprise (you suspect it’s more about them wanting to fawn and coo over a human pregnant) and extend their well-wishes to the two of you. Gifts from every single brother — in good will, but largely injurious to your health and the baby’s — Satan has lined against your side of the bed. Lucifer’s he burns with his unearthly verdant fire the moment you’re presented with it and the elder brother’s out of sight.

Manuals are brought out, books are being purchased. Shipments from all four corners of Devildom, pricey tomes on human pregnancy from the Earth.

Satan’s here to provide you with all information necessary to nurturing a baby within your womb, random facts and tid-bits even you’re hearing for the first time. He stresses on keeping yourself healthy. He isn’t an over-bearing future father but does definitely encourage you to stick to the health schedule he draws up for you every week, making a point of, time and again, how important it is for you to follow a good lifestyle in order to see through a safe pregnancy and delivery.

Everyday walks, Kegels, healthy amounts of fruit and meat in your diet (let him know if anything — anything at all — upsets your appetite and he’s quick to swipe that item out of your plate, and your lives). None of which you’re doing alone because he’s more than happy to accompany you throughout your regime.

Don’t let him choose too many of the baby’s clothes however, he’s pulling the oddest combinations of clothes off the rack and it leaves you half-amused half-terrified for your future baby’s sense of fashion. [That is way too many cat onesies in bizarre shades, Satan!]

He would never force you to adhere to something he wasn’t capable of seeing through himself. And, first and foremost he wants to be there for and with you. If you’d let him, he’d be very hands-on in helping deliver your baby as well.

Every single time the two of you make progress through your health list, Satan’s got a pat on the head ready, stroking your hair, affectionate, praising you on how well you’d done that day and what good progression you’d been making lately. Parting stray locks to press a kiss against your forehead. One to your lips in a smile more than happy to, if you ask for more. He’s that perfect balance between strict and adoring.

Future Father™️ (not so) secretly loves to be wrapped up in surprise cuddles any day of the week. There is nothing more joyous than the thought of being needed by you.

Perhaps one of the more enjoyable parts of your pregnancy has been how much more physically affectionate your child has made you and he can hardly complain when you crawl across the covers to join him in bed as he reads. You settling soft against him, needy arms coming around. Swollen stomach, round and wonderfully full, pressed into his side, he almost thinks he feels the baby within, kick a foot in welcome against his side — Hello Dad, as if that’s what Baby’s saying, if they could speak. The rather ridiculously sweet thought’s enough to pull a soft bout of laughter from him and an arm he fits carefully against your shoulder to drag you in.

“Are you cold again, kitten? Come sit next to me. We don’t want you and the little one to get sick now, do we? Is that better? Do you need me to go fetch a blanket? Alright then, sweet dreams.”

He’s here to answer to your every need, so long as it’s within the bounds of reasonability and not injurious to you or the baby.

As much as Satan might seem in control of the entire situation; calm rationale persevering through your hurdles of new pregnancy and future parenthood. Despite how he is the one you seek comfort in and take pride in as the father of your child… Satan is not entirely without his own chips in a seemingly flawless armor.

His knowledge, no matter how vast and thorough, doesn’t replace the practicality of witnessing you nurture a child — your child — within your belly for nine long months. Less than even a speck within a demon’s eternity but so very long and at times… challenging, more than he’s ever encountered throughout his lifetime. Having been born of Lucifer’s rage and anguish, Satan has never known of a parent’s love, nor does he pretend to understand what it might entail. He’s never really felt the need to, past that hollow ache that surfaces at times, to know he was born of loathing and negativity, not nurtured from love.

Lucifer’s hatred of his Father, Levi’s brief mentions of his Mother… a bedtime story narrated of times within the Heavens past with their family, among the brothers, in Lucifer’s absence, is all he knows of the entities called ‘parents’. He does not know what he ‘feels’, if his emotions and reactions are appropriate for a life the two of you are responsible for, together. If his version of love would ever be adequate enough for your baby — the thought that they too might grow missing half the love of their parents, to have no outlet for restless agitation and hurt towards a father who’s never had one of his own… it terrifies him beyond belief.

Times like these are when you need to read him like the very books he’s so fond of picking apart. Seat him by your side and engage him in conversation of your future as a family of many, many children (demon/human and feline alike). Let Satan voice his thoughts, unformed or firm, however they might come across. Pity or sermons are not what he needs; rather quiet understanding and thinking space. To let him realize how he has no need for anxiety; his version of love is just as much valid and your absolute faith in Satan’s ability to love your child as much as he does you. Something you’re willing to learn, a new experience of loving your child, together, with him by your side.

And if the hand that reaches out to caress your distended abdomen, as if towards one very precious, the soft affection in that verdant gaze is indication enough, he��s already begun to learn.

Bonus: Baby Wrath™️ is studious and very interested in learning of the world around, from a tender age. Drinks milk regularly and lick-finishes their cup clean, like they are supposed to under the watchful eye of Dad Wrath™️.

Satan is strict only in terms of good manners and good education; he’s nurturing and encourages the child to enjoy whatever hobbies they develop over their years. (Reading is one and no one’s more proud than Satan that Baby’s often found burrowed within their father’s mountain of books). You do allow the child more leeway, in terms of candy consumption and staying up past bedtime, although that influence can be traced back to Uncles Mammon and Levi who are terrible role-models and have more than once caused Dad Wrath to explode on their sorry souls. Baby Wrath is — much to the chagrin and woe of his father — very fond of Uncle Lucifer and he is their (second) favorite in terms of gifting new and fascinating books to study, and teaching to write simple words, on occasion.

End Notes: Thank you for reading!

♧° Link to Master List °♡

#obey me satan #obey me satan x reader #obey me satan x mc #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #shall we date obey me #om satan #obey me fanfic #obey me: one master to rule them all #obey me fanfiction #you are so que(t)e #a pickle writes #pickle celebrates #obey me fluff #obey me satan fluff #obey me hc

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