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#so I figured I might as well make the change I’ve wanted to since she was revealed as being the taty soul holder
morgana-larkin · 1 day
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Alright peeps! So I took a look at the poll and saw that most of you wanted the second part of 'Don't Call Me That' the most so here it is! There's everything in this one, heartbreak, angst, smut and fluff. A bit of a rollercoaster so good luck!
On another note: I'm working on part 4 of 'Mine' as that was the second most voted on. I also realise the poll is still open for another 4 hours but idc, you can still vote though!
Don't Call Me That - Part 2
Warnings: Smut, angst, lots of fluff (Not in that specific order lol), happy ending
Words: 4.2k
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Melissa didn’t get any sleep last night. Everytime she closed her eyes, all she imagined was you kissing her, and nothing was on her mind except the thought of you saying you love her. You still love her, even after her breaking up with you.
Melissa walked into Abbott a little earlier, she needed extra caffeine considering she got 0 hours of sleep last night. She barely survived the day, not only from lack of sleep, but seeing you multiple times, and everytime all she thinks about is your lips on hers.
The next day she barely got any sleep, about 2 hours. The next day was the same. She thought that at least it was Friday and she could sleep in on Saturday. On Friday, everyone can clearly see the bags under her eyes as they’ve darkened over the week, and the way she can barely stay awake. Melissa thinks that it’s good her students have a test to do today and a book report coming up, and a couple other things she can get them to do instead of teaching.
At the end of the day, you go to walk to your car and you pass by Melissa’s classroom and you can see her asleep at her desk. You walk in and you see there’s no one else there, so you walk over to her and shake her a bit. “Melissa?” you say and she groans but doesn’t wake. “Melissa!” You just about yell and she opens her eyes but doesn’t move her head. You kneel down to her level and look at her. “Hey, saw you sleeping, you ok?” you ask her and she looks at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen.
“Am I dreaming?” she asks you and you tilt your head.
“What makes you think you’re dreaming?” you ask her.
“Because you’re here, you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise. If I was awake then you would just avoid me because I’m an idiot.” she says and you look down and sigh.
“Ok, come on. I’ll drive you home and then you can continue dreaming ok?” you tell her and help guide her up from her chair. You take her purse with you and help guide her to your car, as well as buckle herself in as she didn’t have the strength to do it herself. “Why have you been so tired this week?” You ask as you get in the driver’s seat and start the car.
“Because I’m being haunted by my stupidity.” She says and you snort, you then back out of the parking spot and pull out of the parking lot.
“What stupidity have you done?” You ask her.
“Breaking up with my girlfriend, Y/n.” She tells you and you then realise she has no idea where she is and might still think she’s dreaming. You know you probably shouldn’t but this might be your chance to figure out what’s really going on with her.
“Why was that a stupid decision?”
“Because I still love her so much. All I think about when I try to sleep is her kissing me or her saying she loves me. I can’t do this anymore, I need her.” She says and a few tears slip. “I’ve barely slept these past 4 days, I probably got no more than 8 hours of sleep combined. I’ve barely eaten as well. I broke up with her 3 months ago and I was still able to sleep and eat, I don’t know what changed.” She says and you think about it, you should probably help her out.
“Do you feel guilty all of a sudden?” And she lets out an airy laugh.
“I’ve felt guilty ever since I thought I should break up with her?”
“Ok, so not that then. What about the fact that she told you she loves you?” You ask her and she doesn’t say anything. “Maybe you thought her feelings for you would disappear when you broke up with her cause you thought that she would just find someone else?” You tell her and she still doesn’t say anything. You thought maybe she fell asleep so you glance over at her and she’s still awake. “Melissa?” You say and she looks up at you. “Did you really break up with me because you thought I should be with someone else?” You ask her and she sighs.
“Ya.” she says and takes a deep breath. “I was holding you back from everything you’ve wanted so I let you go so I wouldn’t be in the way because I love you and I want you to be happy, even if I had to watch someone else make you happy and give you what you want.” she tells you and her eyes slowly close and she falls asleep.
The rest of the car ride, you think about what she said. You’re honestly surprised by what she said. She thought she was doing something selfless for you, but instead just ended up hurting you both, she never meant to hurt you so much. And now you see the toll it’s taken on her to stick to her decision to try and make you happy. She’s willing to sacrifice her happiness for yours, you never thought anyone would do that for you.
As soon as you pull into her driveway, you gently wake her up. “Come on Melissa, you’re home, we should gotta get you to your bed and you can sleep comfortably, ok?” You tell her and she nods. She unbuckles herself but can’t open the door fully so you do that for her. You unlock her door with her key and you help bring her inside. You set her keys and purse at the door and you close and lock her door while she attempts to take her shoes off. You end up helping her with her shoes when she falls down and you help her back up and to her room. She falls on the bed when you get there and then you tuck her in, you go to leave after but she grabs your arm and you turn to face her.
“Will you stay with me?” She asks softly and you sigh.
“Ok, but only until you fall asleep.” You tell her and she nods. You get on the bed but stay on the covers instead of under and she wraps an arm around you. You admit that you do miss this and you miss her and her craziness. You turn around to face her and she’s still awake and looking at you.
“I do want you back, y/n.” She tells you and strokes your hair.
“What’s stopping you?” You ask her and she yawns and is slowly closing her eyes.
“The fact that you won’t be happy with me.” She says and falls asleep. You stay looking at her stunned and go over everything she’s told you, thinking that you weren’t you or she was dreaming. You then slowly crawl out from her hold on you and you replace it with a pillow so she doesn’t wake up.
A few hours later Melissa wakes up. She opens her eyes and realises she’s in her bed and has no idea what happened this week that well as she’s been so tired that the whole week has been a blur. She looks at her phone and sees that it’s 5:43pm and it’s Friday. She gets out of bed and hears some noises downstairs, she then grabs her bat and carefully goes downstairs. She gets to the middle of the stair when she sees you on the couch watching tv and she tilts her head and stares for a few seconds. She then continues down the stairs and you look over at her and chuckle.
“Were you planning on hitting me with a bat? You were friendlier when you were falling in and out of consciousness.” You tease her and she looks confused. “Do you remember anything from the end of the day to how you got home?” You ask her and she stares at you then shakes her head. “I found you asleep at your desk and then I drove you home. If you want I can drive you to the school parking lot to get your car and then go home.” You tell her, you don’t want to scare her if what she said while on the verge of sleep was true.
“You drove me home?” She tells you and you nod. “W-why?”
“Because I want to make sure you didn’t fall asleep at the wheel or stay at school overnight.” You simply say. “I bet you’re hungry since you also haven’t been eating, so I made you some mac n’ cheese.” You tell her and you go and get it.
“How do you know I haven’t been eating?” She asks when you reappear with a bowl.
“Cause you told me.” You tell her when you hand it to her and sit back on the couch. “Come sit.” You say as you pat the couch cushion.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone that.” She tells you as she obeys and goes to sit beside you on the couch.
“Wow you really don’t remember anything you told me.” You say and she freezes as she was about to take a bite.
“What do you mean?” She asks and takes a bite of the food.
“I mean we had a whole conversation while you kept falling asleep. In your classroom, my car and here, at your house.”
“What did I tell you?” She asks and prepares for the worst.
“Now I don’t want you to get freaked out ok? Cause you had no idea where you were or who I really was.” You tell her and that makes her feel worse.
“Y/n. What did I tell you.”
“You told me that you still love and miss me and you want me back.” You say and her eyes go wide. “You also told me the whole reason you let me go.” You add and she drops her fork. “And why you haven’t been sleeping, and you confessed that you’ve also barely ate in the past 4 days.” You finish and she’s just staring at you. After about 10 seconds she gets up and walks to the kitchen with her mac n’ cheese and you follow after her. She puts the bowl on the counter without much thought and she puts her hands in her hair. “Melissa?” You say to get her attention and she turns around looking scared and concerned. “What’s going on with you?”
“With me? It’s the fact that you weren’t supposed to know anything that I told you.” She tells you and she’s breathing hard like she’s on the verge of either a breakdown or lots of tears.
“Why? Because I’m just supposed to be happy with someone else as you suffer?” You tell her.
“YES!” She shouts and then looks surprised when she catches up with what you told her and what she confessed. “Since I already told you then I might as well say it. All those things that you want, you won’t get with me. But you will with someone else, someone else who wants to get married, have a family with you, wants to go out and be young and stupid with you. I don’t want those things anymore, and yes I do love you very much and do want you back. But I’m willing to put aside my happiness, if it means you get everything you want.” She tells you and you burst into tears, she immediately wraps her arms around you and hugs you. Your knees buckle and she guides you both to the floor gently and she keeps her arms around you the whole time. When you get to the floor, you place your head on her chest and she brings a hand to your head and strokes it soothingly.
You slow your crying down and sniffle a few times before you speak. “I don’t deserve you. You’re willing to give me everything at the expense of your own happiness. I really don’t deserve you.” You tell her.
“No, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you. You have been the bestest friend to me for 2 years before we got together, and after we got together you have shown me the best of love and care that I could ever ask for.” She tells you, and you look up at her and immediately kiss her. She automatically kisses you back before she has time to think. Once her brain catches up to what she’s doing, she doesn’t have the willpower to pull away, she used it all trying to stay away from you. Before she can register what she’s doing, she leans forward, bringing you back until you hit the floor of the kitchen. You make out on the kitchen floor for a good minute until you both pull away for air and you look at each other. Melissa suddenly is aware of what she did and she gets up before you could stop her and she scurries to the living room, you run after her.
“Melissa, would you stop running away from me!” You tell her and she’s turned away from you with her head down.
“You should leave y/n.” Is all she says and you walk up to her and spin her around.
“If you want me to leave then tell me while looking at me.” You say and she raises her eyes to your face and she’s crying.
“I can’t.” She says and you put your hands on her cheeks and wipe the tears away.
“Melissa, I want to be with you. If being with you means that I don’t get married, have kids or go to the bar every now and then with you then so be it. Because I’m only wanting to marry the right person, and that person is you. So if I’m with you or not, I’m not getting married. I don’t need kids to feel fulfilled, or to be able to say I have a family. I mean we can always get a pet like a dog, but you’re all the family I need. And I can go to the bars with my friends and be young and stupid with them from time to time if I really want.” You tell her and she starts crying even more.
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything just to be with me.”
“Melissa, it’s not a sacrifice if what I’m getting is a life with you.” You tell her and you kiss her. Melissa immediately pulls back and looks at you, her hands on your head.
“Are you sure? You have to be 100% sure y/n.” She tells you and you think it over for all of 2 seconds and you nod your head.
“I’m 100% sure, I want to be with you Melissa.” You tell her and she smiles.
“I want to be with you too.” She says and this time she goes to kiss you. The kiss deepens and you start putting your hands all over her and you think you want to touch her skin and she’s wearing too much clothes, so you put your hands under her shirt. Melissa immediately pulls her shirt off so you can touch her and you unclip her bra and take it off. She’s always been the dominant one but at this moment, all you want to do is kiss her all over, so you walk forward until her back hits a wall and you go down to her neck and kiss and suck all over and she’s gasping under you. You then travel down to her chest and leave kisses all over until you attach your mouth to her nipples and start to suck and lick them. 
She’s bucking her hips under you and you know she’s not far away from pulling all her clothes off herself and guiding you inside of her. You’re working on her second nipple when she pushes you off and guides you to your knees. You go immediately into submissive like always and you pull her pants and underwear off. Melissa leans back against the wall and spreads her legs a little further so you can put your mouth there.
You attach your mouth to her clit and she starts bucking her hips right away and you pin her to the wall. Her hands go to your hair and she’s gasping and moaning at your touch. “Oh god, Y/n, that feels so good baby.” She says and when you know she’s getting close, you pull away and stand up. You push your body into hers and immediately insert two fingers in her and put your thumb on her clit. “God Y/N, I missed you so much.” She says and kisses you. She’s so close as she starts shaking but she doesn’t pull away from your lips like she usually does, you aren’t complaining though, you missed her as well and you’re enjoying kissing her again.
She comes not long after she starts shaking but you don’t stop, you keep fingering her and circling her clit and she lets out a high pitched gasp. “Oh god baby, yes, omg, don’t stop.” She says as she pulls away from your lips and gives into the over sensitivity.
She comes again not too long after the first and then you withdraw your fingers and put them in your mouth to lick them. She looks at you as you lick your fingers and you moan and that’s when she takes action. She picks you up and brings you to the couch, you’re so glad that she decided to remove the plastic as this wouldn’t be comfortable. She put you so you’re sitting in the middle with your back resting on the back of the couch. She starts kissing and sucking your neck and pulls your shirt off. She unclips your bra and yanks it off  right after then immediately brings her mouth to a nipple. You’re moaning and gasping under her and she smiles as she’s so happy that she’s back with you, she’s fully aware of how lucky she is right now and she won’t take it for granted. She takes more time on your nipples then she usually does and your patience is running thin as you’re dripping wet and you have a strong ache between your legs. 
“Melissa, please, I need you inside of me, please.” You tell her and she pulls back from your chest and smiles at you. She gives a quick kiss on your lips then leaves a trail of kisses from your chest all the way to the top of your pants. She quickly removes your pants and underwear, spreads your legs, leaves a few kisses on each thigh and then attaches her mouth to your entrance. You gasp as soon as her hot wet tongue is where you need her the most and she starts moving her tongue all over your entrance before entering her tongue in you. You moan as she starts sliding her tongue in and out of you and you're holding onto her hair for dear life. You start grinding into her mouth to try and get more friction so you can come and for once she lets you keep doing it, normally she would pin you down when you start grinding. Even in the middle of amazing pleasure, that fact is not lost on you, you notice it immediately then start to think of everything else she’s done differently. 
She kept kissing you when she was about to come and even when she came, when she usually pulls away as you love to hear her when she comes. She let you keep fingering her after she came and it seemed like she needed it as well, she only lets you make her come once as she usually ends up grinding your thigh when fingering you as she loves to watch you and it turns her on. She spent more time on your nipples then she usually does, to the point that you begged her to continue, and now letting you grind against her mouth. You put it all together and came to the conclusion, she’s letting you do whatever you want and making sure you feel good as she feels guilty. You reluctantly pull her mouth away and she looks at you confused,
“What is it baby?” She asks and her lips and chin is covered in your juices.
“Stop doing things differently, you don’t have to feel guilty ok. I feel really special about why you did what you did. No one has ever been willing to sacrifice their own happiness for mine.” You tell her and she smiles shyly.
“Of course, I’d do anything for you.” She tells you and you lean in closer to her.
“Then stop fucking me differently and start being yourself again.” You tell her and something flickers in her eyes before she pushes your head back to lean on the back of the couch then dives down to your clit and starts licking and sucking on it. Your fingers are still in her hair and you start grinding against her again, but this time she does pin your hips down. Then she does something she’s never done before, she snakes her hands around your hips and hooks her hands on your ass then pulls you up a bit and that gives her a perfect angle with your clit and you gasp her name out as you come.
She then immediately comes up and positions herself so her clit is on your thigh and she slides a finger in you and you moan as she starts sliding it in and out of you slowly. She then adds two more fingers and starts going faster while her thumb is on your clit and she brings her mouth near your ear.
“Unfortunately the strap is upstairs and I don’t have the patience to go get it, so we’ll have to make do with my fingers.” she says then adds a fourth and you cry out.
“OH MY GOD!!” You cry out as she fills you up with her fingers then her mouth goes to your neck and so much pleasure is coursing through you right now and you feel like moving but her grinding on your thigh is preventing you from doing that. So you do something else that will help stabilise you, you put your hands on her boobs and squeeze them. You don’t feel like that’s enough so you wrap an arm around her back and pull her into you more.
“Ooo” She says as she’s caught off guard by your actions. You come again about 5 seconds later and she doesn’t stop, she just keeps going until you come again and again and then you pull her away.
“Melissa, I can’t take anymore.” You tell her and she nods and gently pulls each finger out at a time. 
“Sorry I got lost in the moment.” She tells you and you smile but your body is shaking from the amount of times you came. She notices and then goes to your side and brings you both to lay down while she cuddles you to give your body the chance to calm down. You turn around in her arms then nuzzle your head on her neck and chest and she holds you tighter. “It’s ok baby, I got you, and I don’t plan on going anywhere again.” She tells you and you only nod as you’re falling asleep. She notices that you fell asleep and she gently strokes your hair. “I promise I won’t leave you again.” She whispers to you. “I won’t make that mistake again.” She says and presses a kiss to your forehead.
*3 years later*
You and Melissa are both standing in front of the house as you unlock it then Melissa grabs your waist before you walk in and she pushes the door open.
“What are you doing Mel?” You ask her as you’re smiling at her and she smiles at you.
“Well shouldn’t I carry my bride across the threshold?” She asks you and then picks you up bridal style and you let out a small squeal and then she carries you inside then gently puts you down. She wraps her arms around your waist and you lean into her touch and she puts lays her chin on your shoulder. You both then hold out your left hands and smile at the ring on both your third finger.
Melissa kisses your neck and then your puppy comes running in and Kristen Marie running after her. You and Melissa decided to adopt a little puppy a few months ago and you both are really happy with your lives now. Melissa re-thought her decision about getting married and proposed to you a year and a half ago, much to your surprise. Then you both agreed on adopting a dog and Melissa named her Bella. Kristen Marie takes Bella out one more time before leaving her with you guys. 
“Are you still alright with the fact that we got married?” You ask her.
“Oh, it’s more than alright baby. Cause I got to marry you, my happily ever after.” She tells you and you both kiss.
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vanhelsingapologist · 10 months
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I am loathe to say it’s the Devil’s taste.
Finally got around to redesigning my PC Tatyana. She’s my main character, but as mentioned, I haven’t gotten to play Demetria in campaign for a bit because she’s been sealed up in Ravenloft with another PC. I’ve said it before but my DM had every one of their players make two characters right off the bat in case of death. So far, I think everyone except one has had to play their backup because of temporary/permanent death or incapacitation. Smart move, then! I love playing Emilia but I miss Dima!
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angelicsoka · 1 month
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❛ he so likes her! ❜ wiru quinn and jack noticing luke is crushing
PROM NIGHT, l. hughes
part two <3
word count | 832 words
pairings | luke hughes x best friend!reader, platonic!jack & quinn hughes x reader
summary | luke’s brothers notice his crush on his best friend
prompt | ❛ he so likes her! ❜
warnings | not proofread. no use of “y/n”. mutual pining. reader and luke are oblivious. lowercase intended. this is a work of fiction, i am by no means saying this is how they act in real life.
a/n | i’ve been trying to write but i have very little motivation, but here's this! might make a part two if the people want it :)
being in love with your best friend was horrible. knowing he didn’t feel the same was down right torturous. at least, you assumed he didn’t feel the same.
luke hughes had been your best friend since sixth grade, when one of his buddies cruelly pushed into a locker as you had walked past. luke, angered by his friend’s actions, proceeded to shove him into a locker before going to check on you. the rest was history.
you were the golden retriever to his black cat, the sun to his moon, his ride or die. you two had been through thick and thin together, somehow managing to stay friends when no one else thought you would. 
unbeknownst to you both, jack and quinn had a bet going on how long it would take for one of you to admit your feelings for the other. a bet that had been placed after your senior prom, a night you could never forget.
it was chilly as you sat outside the gymnasium, no longer caring about dirtying up your dress, the night already ruined. you had found your date with his lips locked with another girl, but that wasn’t what hurt the most: it was seeing your best friend slow dancing with girl; a girl that wasn’t you. 
you wiped at the angry and jealous tears as they streamed down your rosy cheeks, angry at yourself for being jealous, angry at yourself for falling for the one boy you could never have.
“hey, there you are! we’ve been look– are you okay?” luke poked his head out the door, concern growing when he noticed the tears that stained your rosy cheeks. you were quick to wipe the remaining tears as luke walked out, letting the door shut behind him. he joined you on the curb as you tried to get rid of the evidence that you had been crying, but it was too late.
“i’m fine, lu. go back in there, have a good time. i’m gonna head home, i’m not feeling the greatest.” you felt guilty about lying to your best friend, not only about not feeling well, but about your feelings.
“you are a terrible liar, you know that?” you couldn’t even look him in the eyes. “fine, don’t tell me, but at least let me drive you home.” you attempted to argue, but luke was stubborn. you both were.
“i don’t want you to miss out on the fun.” you said as luke guided you to his car.
“eh, i wont be missing any fun when the life of the party is in my passenger seat.” luke attempted to entice a smile out of you but it just sent a pang to your heart. “plus, i’d rather hang out with you.” he shrugged.
“what about your date?” 
“oh, she snuck off to make out with ex.” you shot him a look of pity, luke shrugging it off as he backed out. “i knew she was using me to make him jealous, but honestly i don't care.” you knew though that luke was hurt by it, at least more than he was letting on. the rest of the ride was silent, your eyes trained out the window until luke drove right past your house.
“luke, you just passed my house.” you looked to your best friend, eyebrows furrowed.
“i know. i figured we could watch a movie.” you internally groaned. he was not helping you get over this crush, that was for sure. still, you went along, following him into the house when you arrived. 
it was late, his parents still out wherever they had gone, and quinn and jack were somewhere around the house. you accepted the sweats and shirt luke offered you, going to change out of your dress. when you entered the living room, luke had already picked out your favorite movie and was microwaving popcorn. you sat on the couch, cuddling into a blanket he had laid out.
luke joined you moments later, handing you the bowl of popcorn and taking a seat next to you. he started the movie, but you couldn’t focus, not with him as close as he was to you.
soon, the tiredness began to take over, your eyes drooping. it wasn’t long before luke heard soft snores coming from you, your head resting on his shoulder. it brought a smile to his face as he too began to fall asleep. that was how quinn and jack found the both of you; luke’s head rested against yours which was on his shoulder. quinn placed a blanket over you both, before taking a picture of you, a smile on both your faces.
“he so likes her.” jack snickered, quinn nodding along.
“i bet you fifty bucks he tells her first.” quinn whispered as he sent the picture to his parents who were rooting for you two to get together.
“make it a hundred but it’ll be her.” they shook on it before you leaving you to rest.
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eureka-its-zico · 6 months
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Happy Birthday, Zoro
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Synopsis: Zoro wasn't much for birthday's until he met you.
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader
Genre: fluffy, friends to lovers, (Zoro and Doc)
Words: 2.5K
A/N: I had to write something for the birthday boy before the day is over. It is probably the shortest thing I've written in a hot minute, but I hope it is still enjoyable. Much love, Jenn.
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He’d let it slip one night while you’d all been celebrating Nami’s birthday. Of course, she’d asked for fireworks and pretty gifts. She’d also asked to play poker, but that was something you and the rest of the crew weren’t willing to talk about. 
There was no way someone won every single time. 
Cheating aside, the one thing that Zoro could agree on was the booze. You’d both been sent out to pick it up. Who better than the resident alcoholic on the ship to know what a good brand was? 
What you hadn’t expected was for him to basically pull you out of your reading nook in the galley. You could still feel the way his fingers had snaked around to grip the inside of your arm. Two seconds later, he was lifting you up and out of your spot with your book almost fumbling to the floor. 
“Zoro-“
“Come on, Doc, you're coming with me.”
“You could’ve asked!” You huffed. 
You were well aware that Zoro was still holding onto your arm. You were also well aware that he was much closer than usual making it hard for you to remember that you were mad at him. Big mad because you were just getting to the good part in your book. 
“I am asking.”
Gods. He said it like a fact. His face was as smooth as stone and unblinking.
This was your Zoro. Master of having zero tact. 
“Asking is with words, you ass.”
“Yeah, I don’t do that.”
“I’ve noticed.”
And with that, he took it as you conceded to go with him into town. In part, it was probably for the best. Zoro’s people skills were nonexistent and you and Sanji frequently had to apologize for him. 
While the trip to town was enjoyable, what made it the best was the way Zoro changed around you. It wasn’t an astronomical change. He didn’t talk a whole lot more or say fewer things that reminded you he was an asshole (but he was your asshole so…) or be less broody. What he did was smile more. 
They ranged from the small smirks he did when you were talking. Your animated hand movements with every other word as you weave a deep story for him or an excessive explanation on why using chopsticks for hair pins was an ingenious idea. You wondered if Zoro himself even realized he was doing it. But your all-time favorite? 
It was when he smiled brighter than any star in the sky. His entire face lit up and chased back all the broody darkness he usually wore like armor. So, while you were upset to be torn from your book, you knew you would much rather be here in town with him. 
When you arrived at the store Zoro immediately asked for samples. Two of everything. You thought he meant for himself, but felt complete terror widen your eyes when he slid one over to your place beside him at the bar. The only response you got was a raised brow and a smirk he quickly covered with the edge of his glass. 
“What? Can steal a man’s glass from a dinner table but not an offered one?”
“Excuse me. I only did that because I knew you wanted it.”
“Hmmm. So, if I vocally say I don’t want you to drink with me, you’ll drink?”
You took a sniff of the amber liquid poured into the glass and felt your eyebrows curl up in retreat. 
“This smells like regret,” you informed him with your eyes looking over the rim of the glass at his very striking figure. 
This man was insane if he thought you were going to drink with him. You had no control over your mouth once you had one glass too many and you weren’t sure you could take responsibility for whatever your hands may, or may not, do. Especially since he was wearing another one of his gi’s, which suspiciously looked more untucked in the chest area than usual. 
You were going to have to ask Nami if she might have spilled some secrets from a girls' night. 
“There is no such thing as regret. Just a learning experience.”
“Yeah, no. That sounds like regret.”
He let out an annoyed sigh as he kicked back what was left inside the glass. The man didn’t even pull a face. He just casually swallowed it and placed the glass rim down first on the bar. 
“That’s going to be a no.” He hummed to himself before he turned to look at you. “Look, Doc, I just want a second opinion on the booze. It’s for Nami’s special day or whatever.”
He had a point. You didn’t want Zoro picking something that was strong enough to melt the hair off a man’s chest, but you also didn’t want it growing any hair on anyone’s chest, either. 
“Fair point.” 
You took one last look at your glass before grabbing it and slamming back its contents. The regret was instant as it burned its way down your throat and boiled molten in your belly. You couldn’t keep from coughing as you tried to shoot daggers in his direction. 
“You know what you learned there?” Zoro asked.
You were scared to ask but felt yourself coughing, “What?” regardless. 
“You don’t like that one.”
Your hand lightly smacked him in the arm on a whim. You waited for him to turn and give you a death glare from the tap, but you were given a soft smile instead and was that- did Zoro just laugh? 
He was already on his fifth glass and maybe that was why he was being so damn cute. Yeah, that was it. Zoro instantly became a lightweight. 
You knocked back the second one in record time. This time, it didn’t burn as much as the first, but it still didn’t taste much better. 
“I never understood the big deal about birthdays.” Zoro’s voice was deep in thought, his eyes roaming the inside of the empty glass of his sixth drink. “It’s just a day.”
A “Tsk,” pushed past your lips as you leaned over towards him. Your cheek rested on his arm as you looked up at him. It felt like it was taking forever for him to even glance down at you. You were about to poke him in his side to finally make him move when dark eyes fell down on your face.
Gods, you really needed to remember to breathe. 
“It’s not just a day! It’s the day you were born. It’s not just to celebrate but to be grateful that you’re here. I’m grateful you’re here.”
You watched his Adam’s Apple bob in his throat. The way his eyes flashed with something you weren’t used to seeing made a question form on your tongue but before you could ask it, Zoro looked away and back at the table. His hand wrapped around a new glass and quickly emptied its contents. 
“Come on, we still have a lot of booze to get through.”
It wasn’t until the two of you were squeezed into a booth, all of the booze gone, and your head resting on his shoulder, with Zoro’s head resting on yours, that he mentioned it again.
“I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated my birthday before,” he hummed. His fingers were playing with the hem of the pocket on your cargo pants. “But if I did. I want it to be with you.” 
It felt silly that just a few words could make your heart race like it did. It was the booze, you’d reminded yourself. You’d both drunk enough to tranquilize a sea beast. Zoro would never just mumble things like this to you, resting his head on yours like he did. 
That day Zoro didn’t say more than that and you didn’t press him. Not that you could, anyways. You couldn’t even remember the walk back to the Merry. The night of Nami’s birthday, in the middle of the fireworks, you’d both been sitting on the deck. Your eyes cast up to the explosion of color that painted the sky. 
“November.”
“What?”
A finger stroked the neck of the bottle he’d been nursing. His wrist found a comfortable spot on his knee as he leaned back on his palm. It was enough to look natural - enough to not bring attention to the fact this position easily put him shoulder-to-shoulder beside you. 
“My birthday it’s…it’s in November. If you are curious.”
July came and went. August and September. You practically counted each day in each month and hated how it seemed to go so fast, but not fast enough. You’d planned and had every idea of how you were going to give him one of the best birthdays ever.
You’d already bought his favorite whiskey and gave it a cute little bow. You’d even asked Sanji to show you how to make a cake. You practiced tirelessly with Sanji watching you every step of the way. So, you couldn’t understand how or why your cake looked like a deflated balloon. 
“Did you overbeat the flour?”
Sanji was leaning back against the counter. A hand covering his mouth because you knew he was either smiling or frowning or a mixture of both. The towel he’d used to clean up your earlier spill rested over his shoulder. 
“I don’t know,” you groaned into your hands. 
“It’s alright. It’s not the time to panic-“
“It is the perfect time to panic! I don’t have time to try and redo the cake, Sanji.”
The day was almost over. Zoro had spent the majority of it out with Luffy. You’d been waiting for them both to come back and when they did, it was night. You weren’t sure how many hours were left in the day for you to do this, but you knew you didn’t have a lot of time left. 
“Can you hand me a cookie cutter?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna improvise.”
You used the cookie cutter to find the best part of the cake and cut out a piece. You slammed on maybe too much frosting and quickly went and grabbed your present from your room. It might have been a good idea to change since you were practically wearing most of the cake ingredients on your clothes. 
It was too late to change anything. You were already in front of his door and with the tip of your boot knocked as gently as you could. You could hear the slightest sounds of Zoro moving around inside—a groan and what sounded like a few choice words grumbled right after. 
You weren’t ready for what greeted you. 
Zoro swung open the door and all your brain functions ceased. He was shirtless. The scars Mihawk had given him were fully on display along with every ridiculous muscle definition known to man. His hair was haphazard from sleep, eyes still struggling to focus, with pants hung low at his hips. You weren’t sure if you should be thankful or happy. One thing was for sure. You almost dropped your cake. 
“Oh, hey Doc. What’s up?”
Fuck. Was his voice always so unnecessarily rich like this when he woke up? You weren’t sure why, but you panicked and practically shoved the items towards his face. 
“Surprise!”
He looked from your would-be birthday cake and the bottle of whiskey with a bow and back to you. 
“What is this for?”
“Your birthday, silly.”
That seemed to wake him up and not in a good way. He quickly reached out and pulled you inside. He shut the door behind you and if it weren’t for the bit of moonlight that showed through his window, you both would’ve been consumed by darkness. 
Zoro moved forward and you remembered you were in a dimly lit room with him. With a tight smile on your face, you lifted the cake and repeated, “Surprise!”
“You said that already.”
“True but this time it didn’t result in you pulling me anywhere. I brought matches too so you could blow out the candle on your cake.”
Zoro took one look at your cake and all that grumpy energy he held from being woken up disappeared. It was replaced with a soft grin as he looked from the cake to you. 
“Why is it in the shape of a Christmas tree?”
“Let's not focus on the details. Oh, and this is for you too!”
Yes, you were nervous. Yes, this was the first time you’d been inside his room like this, but everything was fine. It was fine. So, there wasn’t any real reason why you almost slammed the bottle into his chest. Zoro didn’t seem to mind the small impact as his eyes landed on the label. 
“It’s my favorite one.”
“I know. It took me a while to find it. Come on. Come sit.” 
You moved to sit on the edge of his bed. Your fingers went to dig the matchbox out of your pocket, and as soon as you got it out, strike one to light up the candle. You carefully lifted the plate back up in your hands as Zoro sat down beside you. The soft glow of the candle made all the hardness of his jaw and cheeks appear softer and the plushness of his lips more inviting. Everything about Zoro appeared different in the soft illumination of the candle and you wished you could draw it to memory. 
A smile that was big and genuine lifted the corners of your mouth. Your hands held up the plate at the best angle between you as you softly said, “Happy Birthday, Zoro. Make a wish.”
Zoro tried to shake away the smirk that started to form before he leaned forward and blew out his candle. You turned to place the plate on the barrel beside the bed. 
“Are you going to ask me what I wished for?”
You froze in place. Your heart suddenly beat wildly against your chest as you struggled to swallow past your racing pulse. You hoped when you turned back around to face him you didn’t look terrified. 
“It’s usually bad luck to ask,” you replied.
“Ask.”
“What did you wish for, Zoro?”
“You.”
You weren’t prepared for Zoro to close the last few inches between you. For his hand to weave his fingers into your hair while his other gripped your waist. Those last few moments of sanity you had before he pressed his lips against yours evaporated the minute he touched you. 
Maybe you’d been his true present all along. 
-----------
As always, thank you for reading. Comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated.
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buckysegan · 2 months
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With all my gratitude, hope and returned adoration - Part Two
Summary: John writes back to his friend from home and we hear from our friend across the way. John x She. Word Count: 1.2k. A/N: we are def rolling with some historical inaccuracies in regards to letters here but sue me. he deserves it. pstttt also should we name her? do you all want to send me random john prompts. my baby isn't ok and i'm not ok. Part one linked here. Part three linked here.
John was sure he wasn't sweating a normal amount as he looked down at the piece of paper that Buck had offered him. It had taken two whole days of questions from the man for Bucky to even decide that he was going to reply. He’d been offered the hope, what more could he ask of her. Could he ask more? There had been a return address on the letter which Buck had insisted was there for a reason and she had opened herself out for a reply from him but the Major couldn’t help but be unsure.
It was an odd feeling for him, before the war he hadn't been unsure of anything and since he’d been here? Well he hadn’t been sober enough to doubt anything that he had done. These days though Bucky felt like he doubted every single thing. The thing was, he wasn't sure that he could afford to doubt this, to look past the life line that had been offered to him. Not when each day he could feel his mind draw a little further toward the edge no matter how much he or Buck tried to keep it in check.
With a sigh he pulled the pen into his hand, eyes locked on the page for a moment before he began to scrawl.
Dear Friend From Home 
You’re gunna have to forgive me because I ain’t going to be as good as this as you are. I’ve written so many letters this war you would think that I’d have gotten a handle on it by now but I find myself at a loss when it comes to what to say to you. 
I think the first thing I got to say is thank you. I don’t know if the words I can put on paper are ever going to really tell you how much your letter meant to me. See I was a certain type of man that didn’t think much to pen pals. I figured that I’d be ok, you know, that with my boys I’d have what I needed to make it through the hard days but watching the letters for everyone else roll in has been harder than I thought it might. 
There are things that I can’t tell you cause I don’t know who might read these letters, and where I am I can’t get you no picture but I can tell you that my favorite dish is a meat and potato pie, simple I know but really I’m a simple hearty kind of guy. What makes me laugh, you asked? That’s kind of simple for me too, just good company, myself sometimes, Buck, he’s my best friend, he makes me laugh a lot. What makes you laugh? I’d like to know that. 
May I know where you are? I know that might be a big ask but you said I could ask anything I know and if I get out of here…we get some leave, I’d like to know where I need to ask for me leave to be. Then I can show you what I sound and look like and know that in return. 
If this letter doesn’t reach you for a while, know you’ve been with me the whole time. 
With all my gratitude, hope and returned adoration
Major John Egan 
“What if she doesn’t get it?” He found himself questioning quietly to Buck as he handed over the letter to make it out of camp. His best friend settled him with a soft look, one that always made Bucky feel like he had some worldly knowledge the rest of them had missed out on, that assured him everything was going to be alright. “You just gotta have hope she will John, she’ll get it.” 
With a huff Bucky nodded, pulling his hat on as he watched his letter vanish from his view all together. “Alright well I can’t sit here and wonder, I’m off to play baseball or something.”
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The letter that Bucky had so carefully handed over changed hands many more times, some fingers as rough as the pilots, some dirtier, some softer, but the last set of fingers to slide the letter from her post box had perfectly manicured fingers. Her flicking of her post was greedy as she looked for the same thing that she had every day since she’d posted her own letter.
At first, her hopes of finding what she was looking for had been unrealistic; she knew that, it hadn’t even been long enough for her letter to be received, let alone for him to get one back to her, then the other girls at the centre, they’d gotten letters back, notes, anything. That was when she had allowed her hope to return, for a moment at least. Days without anything had turned into weeks and then weeks had turned into months. Anything could have happened, that was what she tried to tell herself, he might not have gotten her letter, he might have thought it was weird and had chosen not to reply. That thought was enough to miff her, he could have at least said thank you. When she had decided no one could be that mean, her diminishing hope had turned to worry, what if he hadn't been able to receive her letter.
Flicking through each white envelope today, she almost missed it, how she didn't know because it was clearly different from the rest of them, maybe she hadn't wanted to look. "Not…" Trailing off she flicked back to the second to last letter, her eyes taking in the scrawling of her address, her eyes checking the postage before she was taring inside. "It's here, he wrote it's here." She called through the halls to the other girls that she lived with, all of which had been holding their breath with her. "Oh god I can't read it, what if he's telling me I was weird!" She cried, thrusting the unopened letter into the hands of her eager friend.
"Don't be dramatic, he's going to be throwing down his gratitude at you being a doll, you should have attached a picture with it I told you!" Meg beamed easily back at her, the same sense of reservation missing from her actions as she tore into the letter so that it could be read to the group. "Dear Friend From Home. You’re gunna have to forgive me because I ain’t going to be as good as this as you are. I’ve written so many letters this war you would think that I’d have gotten a handle on it by now but I find myself at a loss when it comes to what to say to you." That was enough, pulling the letter from Megs hands she was quick to scramble away from the group once more, locking herself into her room as re-read the opening line herself, the tears in her eyes only welling even further as she continued.
An ache in her chest formed as she read the words once more, taking in each strike of his pen where he had corrected himself or smudge from whatever he'd had on his fingers. The state of the letter was enough to make her wonder, but at least for now, she knew her friend was ok. He was alive, and he wanted to hear more from her. It couldn't have been normal, to feel this level of emotion for a man that she had never met, but she had found herself here regardless and in the middle of so much uncertainty, she wasn't going to question the pull she felt across the way to England.
Pushing from her bed she moved to her desk, paper pulled from her stationary pot, the quicker she could post this the quicker it could get to him.
"Dear Major Egan,
I'm delighted to hear I'm with you. I hope you know, that you've been with me too…"
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breathlesswinds · 25 days
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(Devlog) What We Learned Making A Trans Dating Game
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Hello, Amelia here, the writer for Breathless Winds. It's been 250,000+ words, countless revisions, and three years since this game entered development, and I wanted to talk about what I've learned leading up to release.
The concept for Breathless Winds was actually sort of a joke between friends. I was talking with Doris about how there should be a dating game where you play as a trans woman and your dating options revolve around certain ‘tropes’ we’d both seen in trans fiction-- the totally accepting cishet guy who falls in love with the trans heroine before she even knows she’s a woman, the cool trans woman who the heroine doesn’t know if she wants to date or wants to be, and so on.
Doris wound up suggesting we make this game ourselves. We both like visual novels and want to tell LGBT stories. Still half-jokingly and half-seriously, we started fleshing out what the romance options would be and coming up with a setting-- and soon, we were fully committed to making this game real.
I was a fan of visual novels but had only ever written prose. I knew which visual novels I liked and which scenes stood out, but I didn’t know why they did or how to make my own. 
I read some great advice from visual novel developers, but a good amount of my knowledge came from just working on Breathless Winds. As our first project, this game has grown a lot with us and we’ve learned a lot while making it.
Learning How to Write Visual Novels
A bad habit I had to break out of was only using the ‘novel’ part of the game and not the ‘visual’ part. I would sometimes write “He smiled” or lines like that, and Doris informed me that we can convey this much more simply with a sprite change.
It sounds obvious in retrospect, but lines like that are often pretty invisible when you’re reading a non-visual novel. These lines change the sprite of the character inside your head (if that makes sense, haha). I realized that I’m so used to them being ‘invisible’ that I didn’t notice their absence in visual novels I liked, so I would accidentally include them while writing. 
I was also writing these routes in a word processor, so I didn’t have the visual portion to reference, myself. I wound up making a lot of ‘tone’ notes like, “Lantana should be smug here” so that the meaning would carry when revising and implementing these into Ren’py. 
So, while visual novels share a lot with prose, they’re an entirely different medium. On the subject of representing things visually, I’ve struggled trying to figure out how much can be visually represented and how much should be written. 
Every asset in the game has to be drawn by Doris, so if I want the characters to go to a new location for a scene, I have to keep in mind that’s another background that Doris has to draw. If I want a new character to show up, that’s another sprite she has to draw. I don’t want to overload her, but if I’m trying to avoid this entirely, characters sometimes wind up standing in one room talking for ages without anything significant changing on-screen.
I’ve learned that it’s recommended for something to almost always be changing on-screen, though, so sometimes I just have to ask Doris to make a new asset for a certain scene. I still try to stick to locations/characters that already exist more often than not.
Every single thing in a visual novel is deliberate. Another thing I’ve had to learn that I never even considered before is how to write each line so it fits in the text box. It sounds obvious, but when I’m playing a visual novel, I don’t usually think about how each line has to be carefully constructed so it doesn’t need to be split up into two or more text boxes. In my mind, if a visual novel is well-created, there’s not much that breaks a reader’s immersion.
Planning & Outlining
The previous section might sound really weird to some people, so let me elaborate.  I’m a lifelong ‘write by the seat of your pants’-er, so the biggest trial-and-error of creating Breathless Winds for me was planning out the game.
Initially, I created outlines for each of the four routes, and we agreed ahead of time on which CGs each route would have. That way, Doris could draw the necessary backgrounds and CGs while I was in the long process of drafting this game.  My original outlines weren’t great. I know a lot of people have different experiences with writing, but for me personally, a story is always shaping itself in my mind. When I started making the outlines for Breathless Winds, I knew the concepts we wanted to convey, but I didn’t know what each route (and the game as a whole) was really about yet. This might sound weird and unprofessional, but sometimes, I don’t know what a story is about until I finish the first draft.
So while I was writing, I would look at my outlines and I would think, “this doesn’t actually make sense, he wouldn’t say that” or “this plot point would work better if moved to this other section” or “there’s a plot hole here I didn’t notice”. The story wound up changing a lot in this way as I learned what it’s really ‘about’. 
And even after I finished the first draft, I’d get feedback from Doris and/or my editor and they would suggest fixes to problems that even I hadn’t noticed, and then I would revise the route some more, and later on I’d come back and need to redo part of the route to comply with something I wrote in a later route-- I haven’t really felt ‘finished’ with Breathless Winds at any point, and I think I’ll still feel this way after the game is released.
This means that sometimes, a background was created but would go unused because there was no space for the scene that would use it, or we’d need a new CG last-minute, or so on. 
When I’m figuring things out as I go while writing a non-VN, the only person that I can adversely affect is my own self… so I’m eternally grateful for all of Doris’s patience with me on this matter. I think Breathless Winds has come out a much better game for all the re-plotting and revision. 
I redid the outlines several times as I went. I think I’ve understood how to create outlines that personally work for me-- ‘living’ outlines that hit all the main points, but leave wiggle room for moments when a character does something unexpected, work the best for me.
Scope Creep
So, originally, each route was meant to be 40,000 words. “With four routes, that’s only 160,000 words!” I thought. “And some of my favorite visual novels are about that long, so I can write that much, too!” ← clueless
This is the most infamous mistake that new creators make, and I walked right into it. I should have known better since I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with past non-VN writing projects before, but I was starry-eyed and didn’t realize how much work it is to make a VN. Some of those favorite visual novels I referenced were made by much larger teams, writers whose full-time job was writing (I wrote all of these routes on the side while working at a day job). 
If I could have done it again, I would have asked Doris to start out with a really short VN. But, I don’t regret making Breathless Winds at all. It’s brought Doris and I a lot closer, for one. Every time I thought I wanted to give up on this, Doris would motivate me to continue. Without the two of us both and our strong friendship, Breathless Winds wouldn’t exist, and I think that’s beautiful. 
No matter what, we’re going to see it through to the end. (I hope people like it, though…)
Anyway, here I am talking about how much 40,000 words is. Each route now is about 60k to 70k words. The problem with having evolving outlines is that they can often evolve into double their original size.
We came up with the idea of the poachers really early in development, and then not addressing the poachers felt like a failing, but by that point it was too late to remove the poachers entirely… and so the game wound up a lot longer dealing with the poachers. 
I think that if we had an editor sooner on in the game’s development, then we might have had someone to tell us, “do you really need all of this in the game? Does this plot point really need to be there? Will you be able to write all of this in a reasonable amount of time?”, haha. But Doris and I were really excited about the possibilities of this game when we started creating it, and without anyone to reel us back in, we wound up coming up with more and more things we wanted to put in the game.
Did you know there was going to be an island full of talking rats who say things like “the big cheese” and stuff all the time in Breathless Winds? Yeah. 
The Core Design Philosophy of Breathless Winds
So, for anyone who’s read this far but doesn’t know yet-- the premise of Breathless Winds is that you play as a trans woman who doesn’t know she’s trans yet, and she finds love with one of four love interests as she discovers her gender identity. 
In real life, it can be a lot messier for a person to date when discovering their gender identity. To put it briefly and mildly, a trans person’s life and sense of personal identity can rapidly change during a gender crisis and the early stages of transition. 
However, we wanted to make this game a ‘wish-fulfillment’ type story-- a trans fantasy about acceptance, community, and love. During a gender crisis, it can be easy to feel as if one has lost touch with themselves and become isolated from others. A sincere wish shared by many trans people is to be accepted, loved, and even celebrated as their true gender, not just tolerated. 
Since many trans people don’t get love and acceptance in real life, especially with the ongoing transphobic moral panic, we wanted to create a game that would bring this feeling of trans joy and celebration to trans audiences. 
We also hope that cis players will still enjoy the story and characters, and maybe come away from the game with a new understanding about being transgender and other aspects of LGBT identity (although we never intended this game to be ‘educational’).
Making Characters that Celebrate Trans Identity
Although we went through several revisions, the core identities of each character stayed the same since the game was first ‘jokingly’ pitched. In another post, I discussed how each character is themed around a change in seasons. (I also wound up theming them around the four humors when I was initially concepting them-- I really wanted to avoid too much ‘overlap’ in the LI’s personalities, haha). 
Ultimately, characters are created to serve a role. The LIs in Breathless Winds were designed to be love interests, of course-- characters who would appeal to the hypothetical trans femme audience. As mentioned earlier, we modeled them after other trans fiction tropes because these types of characters have a certain tried-and-true appeal, but this left plenty of flexibility to put our own spin on it. 
A trans woman being loved as a woman by a cishet guy can feel like a high form of ‘passing’, ‘fitting in’ to the female gender role, and being validated by his orientation. He only likes women, and he likes you, so you’re undoubtedly a woman. As a cishet guy, he represents a sort of acceptance into a societal norm that trans women can desire to live to. (Lantana, as a cis lesbian, represents the sapphic counterpoint to this-- although there is of course a big gap between the ‘normalcy’ of a cishet man and a cis lesbian woman, and I don’t mean to say those two are equivalent.) 
But not all trans women want to live to that (cis) societal norm. Rue and Valerian, as a trans woman and a trans man respectively, are the t4t options. 
Rue’s route represents that trans/sapphic ‘envy’ (“do I want her or do I want to be her?”) as well as finding power in community aside from what society considers ‘normal’. We’ve always been pretty clear about what we wanted to do with Rue’s route.
We went back and forth a lot more on Valerian’s route. Initially, we were unsure if he should be trans. He and Rue are the two less-friendly love interests (at least initially), so I was afraid it would come across that t4t is a more hostile option, which is not true at all. But it also felt like a mistake to not have a trans man in the game-- but making Gallardia trans would have required a big overhaul of what we had in mind for him and his route. (Although, childhood friends t4t is a really good idea...)
Beyond that, Valerian takes a villainous role in any route that isn't his own. We were worried that it would be wrong to have a trans antagonist who represents unjust power. However, Breathless Winds is a queer game with other positive trans characters, and we've always approached Valerian as a hot anti-villain man that you can't help but like.
In the end, Valerian’s route is about breaking generational cycles and what it is that makes you a man, and I also managed to sneak in a scene where they dance at a ball in the royal palace, so in the end I think it all worked out great.
Wish Fulfillment and Catharsis
Doris and I both agreed that we wouldn’t depict on-screen transphobia in Breathless Winds. Poppy worries about not being accepted, but fear of acceptance can come with any change in identity. Rue was rejected by her family for being trans, but this doesn’t take place ‘on screen’ in the game. There exist certain metaphorical parallels for transness and transphobia, but every route has a happy ending. 
Following up on this-- it can be difficult to write about discovery of gender identity without writing about transphobia, considering how many trans people suffer from internalized transphobia during their period of repression.
Sometimes, repressed/closeted transgender people ‘hyper-perform’ their assigned gender as a form of denial. A trans woman might grow out a beard and join a gym, while a trans man might become very interested in makeup and feminine clothing. 
In Breathless Winds, Poppy often struggles with ‘strength’ and what it means to be a man. In several routes, she tries to prove her strength under the assumption that being stronger would make her happy. Afraid the world would reject her if she became who she really is, she preemptively rejects herself.
Not every trans person suffers from prolonged denial, internalized transphobia, or even gender dysphoria. I don’t think it’s impossible to tell a purely-positive story about trans joy. 
While Poppy never gets rejected for being trans, faces transphobia, gets called a slur, etc, she faces both internal and external (metaphorical) obstacles to realizing and accepting her identity. 
Gallardia represents a societal norm that Poppy can’t live up to herself as a man.
Lantana suffers from certain aspects of her identity as a woman, which makes Poppy feel guilt for wanting to be a girl.
Rue is isolated from town at the start of her route, a ‘punishment’ for breaking this societal norm.
Valerian has to hyper-conform to his masculine gender role at first in toxic ways before finding acceptance from within and from his loved ones.
These struggles are real to a lot of people, but instead of pretending they don’t exist, I hoped to tell a story about catharsis. Poppy is able to live up to her truth as a woman and finds love with Gallardia, Poppy and Lantana redefine what being a woman should and does mean to them, Rue and Poppy find community in others who don’t fit the norm, Poppy and Valerian stop seeking gender validation from a society that was never made to serve them. 
Although these powerful forces of oppression exist, loving yourself as a trans person- and loving those around you, protecting the natural world, and standing up for what you believe in- can save the day. That’s the kind of story we wanted to tell.
Wrap-up
There’s a lot more I could write, but this has already gotten really long (sorry!) so I’ll wrap it up here. 
Learning how to write a visual novel in terms of technical skill (how to depict events on-screen, how long each line should be) as well as in terms of writing skill (how to outline the game, how to plan visual assets) has been a massive undertaking for me. 
Writing Breathless Winds has been a big challenge but also deeply rewarding, and all of your support has made the experience even more wonderful. Thank you for reading and thank you for supporting the game!
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knight-says-rollout · 10 months
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Would you mind telling us about more disabled Cybertronians?
Oh boy would I
For this list let’s focus on physical disabilities, both because they’re the most commonly dismissed by the fandom and bc if we try to cover everything we’d be here all day (that can be another list, maybe, if y’all want)
This isn’t going to be comprehensive bc I’m tired but!! I will aim for a broad variety of examples nonetheless
Bumblebee - You all know him, you all love him. He’s the most obvious and most well known example of a disabled Cybertronian character.
In many iterations he is mute
Not by choice but because he lacks a voice box. Bee physically isn’t capable of speech and depending on the version has different tools to work around that. Sometimes he uses his radio to repurpose song and radio dialogue into speech, in cyberverse he also makes use of the internet for clips. In the aligned continuity (tfp and connected media) he speaks in binary, a very simplified form of language using beeps and buzzes, but still lacks a real voice and can’t form words.
In IDW he has a cane
At one point in the comics Bumblebee was shot by a human protester and as a result used a cane for a good bit of time. I haven’t had the chance to read that far into IDW yet so I’m not sure how long he had the cane for but it was enough time that it’s a solidified part of the charcaters history. I’ve seen little models of the cane for sale, to be paired with bee figures.
TFP Ultra Magnus - everyone’s favorite awkward commander, despite his popularity he’s surprisingly overlooked when it comes to this discussion
An amputee, he lost his hand
During an energon raid with wheeljack, magnus’ hand was crushed. Ratchet couldn’t save it and had to amputate, replacing it with a hooked prosthetic. I call it a prosthetic rather than replacement part because despite him being able to move it, it’s not a hand. Not in the way he had previously, and he has to relearn how to use it at all.
I think that’s an important distinction to make when discussing disability and transformers. Some bots might have only ever had one hand, or no legs, or etc but that’s always been their level of ability and since they Are robotic. Yeah they might not have the same capabilities as another bot but that’s a hard metric to go by. Seekers can fly but a grounder isn’t disabled because they can’t fly too, it’s a different standard.
WFC Shamble - far lesser known than Magnus, and reasonably so, this background character is Also missing a limb
Amputee, leg edition
His prosthetic is a lot less fancy than magnus’s, it’s a simple peg leg. Put em together and you get a pirate. Not much to say about him since i don’t know how he lost the leg, just that he did.
Shadow Striker - Most awesome lady in cyberverse. Unlike the above two, she Was able to get actual replacement parts rather than prosthetics. Despite this, she is both shown throughout the show and implied to have
Impaired mobility
Chronic pain
She was able to get replacement parts yes but they were needed because she was blown up. The limbs she was given were kinda just what the others could Find and as such are mismatched and don’t fit her very well. Her motor skills took a blow especially when it comes to combat, something she used to excel in. Her new limbs are described as unstable and prone to malfunction. The loss of mobility and implied chronic pain that come along with her situation are rough, but she makes do.
SG Soundwave - my favorite little guy, he’s in a bit of a different situation than the previous.
Bad Joints ™
His body was entirely overhauled multiple times, successfully, but the latest frame change was done with conflicting metals. Earth and Cybertronian materials clash in his joints, making them prone to getting stopped up. The most affected hinge being the one on the door to his tape deck. It is so prone to getting stuck that his cassettes refuse to dock with him at risk of getting trapped. To work around this, Soundwave has the aid of a personalized case he carries around that they dock in instead.
IDW Sunstreaker - speaking of assistive devices, this guy was (for a time) a wheelchair user! Or,, hoverchair.
Temporary,,, paraplegic? Correct me if another term fits better
Taking this moment for an aside to say hey!! Lookit that, both canes and hoverchairs are things that canonically and casually exist on cybertron!! It’s not too wild to assume there are bots out there who use them long term!! Yes both characters on this list were repaired eventually but they’re also both very popular old characters from an action based franchise and hasbro doesn’t have the balls to make something like that permanent yet. We the fandom are not hasbro. We can do whatever we damn want with our OCs. It’s canon that ur little guy can use mobility aids.
Ok, PSA over, anyway yeah Sunny’s body was basically wrecked and alpha trion was able to repair all of him except his legs. This put him in a hoverchair for a good amount of time.
Finback - he’s a con, a pirate, who developed a “metal wasting disease”
He’s on permanent life support
The disease is going to kill him eventually, and it’s explicitly stated that he’s come to terms with the idea of his death. In the meantime he’s using pretender tech, kinda like fancy armor, to reinforce himself and boost his immune system
Perceptor - for a microscope, the fact he’s got vision issues in multiple continuities is kinda ironic
He’s fully blind in cyberverse
He lost an eye in IDW
Between the two we get to see both routes taken to work with this. Adaption and technological aid. In cyberverse he uses his scope to compensate for the loss of vision Toph-style. In IDW he built himself a monocle that basically replaces the pieces that are missing.
Now we get into the uniquely Cybertronian disabilities, one’s that don’t quite translate to human conditions
Transmutate - is a beloved bot from beast wars
They can’t transform, they don’t have an alt mode
I’m hazy on the details of their character but afaik they came from a damaged stasis pod. Described as deformed and handicapped for their both their lack of an alt mode and general appearance, they are probably the oldest explicitly disabled Cybertronian character
Xaaron - from G1 is in a similar situation
He can’t transform, it would kill him
Unlike transmutate he does have an alt mode, a tank, but after thousands of years without transforming he is no longer able to. The new stress it would cause on his body would kill him.
Broadside - continuing with the subject of alt modes, this clumsy boy is a boat! That’s not a good thing.
He’s very prone to motion sickness
As you can imagine, chronic sea sickness isn’t the most helpful thing when you are the boat. This brings in the entirely new element of mobility issues that are inherent to alt modes. A bot that functions fine in root form might not in alt mode and vice versa.
Trailbreaker - is another instance of this. He’s not a fast car by any means but that doesn’t stop the fact
His frame has a very high energon cost
Possibly the least fuel efficient autobot, he’s got an outlier ability on top of it all that only further increases his required energon intake. He needs to pay more attention to his energon levels and refuel more often overall.
G1 Knockout - yes that’s right the shiny medic himself is on this list, though not for the same reason as his tfp version, g1 knockout still lives up to his name
He’s prone to fainting
A knockout in the more literal sense, he faints when he gets too excited. Fully collapses and everything. Since he’s a fall risk, his teammates take care to keep an eye on him.
Annnnd Yknow he probably should’ve been earlier in the list along with the “human-ish” issues but I’m tired, it’s late, and I’m bringing this list to a close
Im sure there are more characters that I didn’t mention but I hope this helped! Thank you for the ask
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avocadoguru · 8 months
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He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)
Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings
Chapter 11 / alternatively, read on wattpad
Chapter 12 (word count: 9k) -updated September 6
“So… did you figure it out, yet?”
Harry didn’t even have time to find it funny, “Why wouldn’t you have said anything to me? This is… What do I do? Does she know? She wouldn’t know yet, would she? I don’t think she knows… Niall, I don’t know how to handle something like this!”
Harry’s emotions were high. And for good reason. What he’d just seen had him shaken. And it also meant that she’d been turned against her will by a psychopath. He was glad he’d murdered James but this would always be a reminder of what had happened and who had done it.
He had been curious about a few little things. The first was obviously the speed at which she’d recovered and then there was her sudden spunk. Her heightened sense of smell was peculiar when she picked out that he was to be making eggs benedict, which should have tipped him off right away. How had she guessed? The sauce wasn’t something that most humans could pick out from a small leak in a jar in a bag full of other more fragrant groceries. 
“What happened that made you realize?”
“I saw her eyes turn golden. Just wish you’d said something.”
Niall had a hunch about her sudden natural reparative abilities, but he couldn’t be 100% sure at the time.“Harry, you have to understand, man. I didn’t say anything because it was either I was wrong or I was right and you’d figure it out anyway. It was better not to say anything if by chance she was just recovering in a way that doesn’t normally happen in humans. Sometimes things do happen that don’t make sense medically. I figured it was better to just wait and see.”
Harry paced, all the way to the furthermost corner of his expansive garden, outside of Y/N’s earshot. His towel tied tight around his waist as he ran his hands through his damp hair, “You could have at least given me a heads up. What do I do?”
Niall breathed out a laugh, “How should I know? I’m a medical doctor! I’m not cut out for emotional therapy. I’ve never dealt with anything like this. But you’ll figure it out.”
“I know. I just… how do I tell her?”
“Harry, again, I don’t know. We’re talking about a human that has been turned and I’m not familiar with all of this. It’s very unconventional. This kind of thing only happens in extremely rare cases and never in my life have I met a human that’s been turned. I’ve heard about it, just never known someone that it happened to. How has she been acting? What caused her eyes to change?”
Harry cleared his throat and looked up at his house, remembering to keep his voice down, “She’s been… very ready to do stuff. Awake. Wants to go for a swim. Is hungry. Um… a little bit bossy with me even.”
Niall hummed into the receiver, “Bossy… and what happened to have her eyes change?”
Harry could almost hear the cheek in his voice, “She was… I think maybe just excited. She’s been in a really good mood since I came back with groceries a bit ago.”
“Right… a good mood. Well, it’s doctor’s orders to take it easy on her. She might be… well… able to tolerate more, but… she’s still recovering. And so are you.”
A scoff fell from Harry’s lips, “Fine. No advice for me then?”
“Sorry, man. Never dealt with anything like this before. As you know, it’s exceptional that anyone would survive being bitten and getting turned. I just think that’s remarkable… The way you’ve been adamant she’s your mate, all this time. She really is your mate. Only your true mate could’ve survived turning for you.”
*
Y/N was onto Harry. She knew that he wasn’t running out to his car just to get something. Sure he ran out the front door but the way he reacted to her standing so close to him was a little out of character. Perhaps, she decided, that he was trying to “behave” and not push her into anything intimate. That made sense. She was still recovering from what she was told were deadly injuries. But that in itself was a mystery to her. She felt fine for the most part. 
She’d unpacked the groceries and left out the ingredients to make the eggs benedict when Harry was in the shower. But getting interrupted by the way he had groaned and then, the thing that had started to become a big question at the front of her mind, was his scent. It was his natural musk but she could smell him from all the way downstairs in the kitchen while he was in the shower. It was his groan, however, that had her feet carrying her upstairs to check on him. Just to see. 
She didn’t know why he’d suddenly become so timid with her. Why he was shying away from her. It was subtle but she noticed it. 
When he came back inside, dawning only the towel he tucked around his waist he slowed his movements as he saw her standing there with a knowing look on her face.
“What happened?”
Harry tilted his chin up to feign more confidence than he was feeling in her presence suddenly. It was as if he was looking at her with new eyes. She was like him now and her senses would pick apart the subtlest changes, “I thought I’d left the butter in the car. Wouldn’t have wanted it to melt.”
Y/N narrowed her eyes at him as he walked past her into the kitchen, “But you didn’t go to your car.”
Harry clenched his jaw and stopped in his tracks. It was going to be difficult to pretend he didn’t know what was going on but he wanted to wait a little longer before telling her in hopes of her figuring it out herself. Or, in any case, he needed to figure out a way to ease her into this. He didn’t want her to freak out, or be by herself when she did figure it out. But he needed time to process it himself; all he knew was that he couldn’t just blurt it out to her out of nowhere. 
He hated to have to go right back to keeping secrets from her again, especially such a huge one, and especially something that affected her directly. By some miracle he didn’t lose her, she was still there with him by choice, he just couldn’t handle losing her for good if she took to the news badly. Which she had every right to… just as much as she’d had every right to be as upset with him as she’d been just a little while back. He thought back then that he’d lost her for good. And now he had to prepare himself for the possibility of having his heart broken all over again.
The way he handled this was crucial. A wrong move and he could fuck it all up forever. He needed to tread carefully.
He looked at her with squinted eyes, “How do you know I didn’t check the car?”
Y/N paused. She had been feeling like her senses were somehow heightened. Her hearing, her sense of smell… She pondered his question as he continued walking into the kitchen. Looking at his broad shoulders and his back had her wishing he hadn’t run off when he did. 
“It’s kind of weird, you know… I’ve been, like, experiencing these weird things. I can hear so clearly and my sense of smell is…” she thought back to the panties she found but decided to keep that bit of information until the time was right, for later, “and I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s all in my head? I feel like maybe I should call Niall…”
Harry watched her carefully as she mulled over everything and he pulled out two eggs from the carton before she continued, “So when I couldn’t hear the car door, I guess I just assumed…” She scoffed, hearing herself out loud. She sounded like a nutcase. Of course she wouldn’t be able to hear the car door all the way from upstairs. “Sorry. I’m being weird. But… right now I’m actually starving so if that butter made it alive let’s eat.”
Harry had Y/N heat the hollandaise while he prepared the rest of the ingredients. But she was clearly still mulling over their interaction upstairs. He noticed her eyes dragging down his bare chest and stopping at his crotch repeatedly. And he could tell she was not only hungry for food but she also had a bit of an appetite for something carnal as well. 
He cleared his throat when he turned to find her leaning on the island and watching him, “Gonna burn the sauce.”
Her grin was playful and Harry felt his blood heat up as she spoke, “Turned it off already. The lid will keep it warm.” She didn’t remove her gaze from him. She was making it very clear what she wanted and he wondered if she was aware of what she was doing or not. 
As much as he’d have loved to have bent her over the kitchen island and take care of his girl the way she needed he couldn’t allow that. Not until they at least had a real conversation. About what she’d seen. About how she was feeling. 
When she began to walk toward him she realized it was like something was just drawing her to him. She wanted to… what did she want? Breakfast was nearly ready and she was very hungry, and yeah, she wanted to eat but what she really wanted was to bite him. Just to nip his shoulder or his neck. His pecs. She didn’t know why her urge was so strong but the moment she was close enough to touch him Harry stood up straight and he looked away from her sultry gaze, “Uh, I’m just gonna go and get dressed and then we’ll eat.”
Breakfast was tasty. It was nourishing and filled her belly, mostly. She felt like she could eat more but Harry’s scent and his hands and his lips were distracting. And the way he kept keeping her at arm’s length had her feeling even more insatiable for him. She knew he was doing it because he was worried about hurting her but she was going to explode if he didn’t do something. 
Turning to face his pretty girl he nearly gave in right then and there, seeing the ravenous look in her eyes. He could practically read her mind, that’s how loud she was thinking those dirty thoughts. And he wanted to give in, he wanted to kiss her, hold her, feel her body against his. Taste her… He shook his head as he got off the stool and pulled himself away reluctantly, grabbing their dirty dishes.“Let’s go for a swim. Like you wanted. I think I know a great place. Secluded. Not in the preserve.” Harry rinsed the dishes as he spoke. He could feel her eyes burning into his back but he needed to keep moving, keep his thoughts from wandering too far. Distract her if he could. He felt he could use a swim himself. Get out some of his pent-up emotions and energy.
“That sounds great, actually,” she grinned and lifted herself up to sit on the counter next to where he was washing the dishes, “I feel like I need to move and exert some energy. A little exercise would be good I think. A swim.”
*
The drive to the new spot wasn’t as quick as it would have been if they’d driven to the preserve and parked and hiked up to their special hidden oasis. But they both knew they couldn’t go back there. Maybe ever. Y/N stopped herself from initiating conversation the whole drive there, and she could tell Harry was holding back, too. She just wasn’t quite ready to address all of that; she at least wanted to go for this swim first. That would hopefully make her feel a bit better. She felt absolutely fine apart from the fact she felt she didn’t fit into her own skin. She was aching to move, burn some energy off, and she suspected it was due to the fact that she was sexually frustrated.
Y/N decided to google her symptoms to pass the time quicker on their drive to this new, secluded place Harry had suggested. She was not quite understanding the way she was able to smell everything so clearly. She typed in sudden heightened sense of smell into the search bar. Scrolling through the various results and webmd articles she landed on something that might explain the strange phenomenon. 
Synesthesia could be the answer. It wasn’t uncommon for people that had gone through life-threatening injuries. She wasn’t 100% sure that was what was causing her to smell and hear things she would have never been able to before but at least it was some kind of answer. Something to ask Niall about when she did finally talk to him about all this.
Harry parked his car off the road and tucked away behind large pines and in the grass. It was miles from the preserve and in an area where the mountains were not protected or worked by the rangers. Some of it was privately owned land that hadn’t been touched in decades. 
“The swimming cove is a spot I used to come to when I had time to waste and wanted to venture away from the preserve.” Harry spoke as he grabbed her bag from her, putting it over his shoulder and began walking toward the fence that clearly meant the area was off limits. 
The overgrowth of vines and grass indicated that no one had been in these parts in a very long time. Which put Y/N at ease. She followed him, scaling the fence easily and trekking through the acreage close behind.
The upward hike was off trail and cumbersome but once they began making their way down into the valley from where they’d hiked Y/N saw the ridges of the mountain and a level area below with a ravine.
“Your sense of direction is astonishing,” she commented as they carefully trekked down toward where they could hear the water flowing, “But I guess that makes sense, doesn’t it? You’re a…” she stopped just before she could say the word. She still had to get used to that idea. That he was a werewolf. Part human, part beast. 
Harry turned to look at her, stopping his pace suddenly as he raised his brows at her, “A werewolf? Is that what you were going to say?”
Nodding her head she shrugged, “Yeah. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be called that. Or… I don’t know. Is it okay to say it?”
The gentle smile that took over his features told her it was, though he didn’t respond to her question with words. 
Looking down to the sandy portion of the ravine Harry pointed, “Just there. It’s beautiful once you see it from the ground. Come on.”
Y/N was wearing her hiking boots while Harry was in his signature chelsea boots, making the descent to the cove look like child’s play. She was now hyper aware of why he was so good at hiking and trekking and staying steady even in such posh shoes. Everything that had suddenly come to light about what he really was had answered so many questions for her. 
But the moment they were standing in the wet sand before the cove where the ravine led, all her thoughts about what Harry was had vanished. Another breathtaking spot with not a single human soul to be seen.
Harry placed their bags on the rocks to keep them dry and began to take his boots off as he watched Y/N curiously. He had been careful not to allow her to over exert herself but she was easily keeping up with him and she seemed fine. She was fine. Her heartbeat was steady and strong, her body had barely broken out in a sweat and she had a wide smile on her face as she looked around.
“Harry, this is… it’s perfect!” She was eager to move her limbs in the cool water. Feel the weightlessness take over and play around with Harry.
She looked over at him as he was undressing, taking his clothes off, his boots already on the rocks next to the bags. So she followed suit. Taking her own boots off and peeling her pants down her legs. 
Harry was already jumping into the water by the time Y/N had stuffed her shirt onto the pile of clothes. Looking down over her body she did see the awful scar. The wound was healed but the remnants of what had happened was obvious. She hesitated to remove her bra as she brushed a hand over the raised skin.
“Everything okay?” Harry called to her. She looked out toward him, handsome with wet hair as he came in closer to her. 
“Yeah. Just… saw this and…” she ran her fingers from the top of her clavicle downward over the scar to under her breast, “I guess I feel lucky to even be alive. Here with you.”
She kept her eyes on his as she unhooked the back of her bra and removed it. 
Harry watched her as she bent down and took her panties off. He was already hard just seeing her bare body but the scar across her chest kept him in check. She was still recovering. Still figuring out what was going on. 
The somber moment was suddenly over the minute she jumped into the water next to Harry and began to laugh. The water was frigid but it felt fantastic. Normally she would feel discomfort but right now her body was adjusting to it just fine, feeling invigorated and alive.
Stretching her limbs in the water she ducked her head under to swim closer to Harry and grasped his wrist.
Harry pulled her up and she tugged his arm around herself. Both grinning ear to ear with the closeness. He was just glad she was feeling playful. That she wasn’t upset or hurt by what had happened. At least in that moment she wasn’t. He knew she’d have lots of questions for him. Knew they needed to have a conversation but for now the light hearted moment was the only thing he could focus on. And her warm skin against his.
She was more than just playful though. She was horny and Harry knew it. Having her naked in the cool water of a private cove in the mountains was risky. Because he was turned on too. And he knew he was asking for trouble with this scenario. It evoked memories of their time together at the oasis in the preserve.
He could resist her for only so long. She was laying it on thick in his house during breakfast and now with his clothes off and his obvious erection it would be even harder to resist her. 
Harry pulled his arm away and began to swim backwards, gliding through the water smoothly, putting some distance between himself and the girl. 
“Where are you going?” She laughed and began to swim toward him slowly.
Harry shook his head and feigned innocence, “What do you mean? Just swimming is all,” he bit the inside of his cheek to tamper the playful grin on his face.
Instead of continuing after him she decided she’d lure him to her. She ducked under the water again, kicking her feet out and splashing as she maneuvered under the water before surfacing, bouncing out just enough that her breasts were visible to him. 
She watched him closely as she pushed herself back and stretched her arms to float at the surface. The tranquility of having her ears tucked under the water, muffling all the sounds that surrounded them, and floating in the mountain chilled water on her back was just like being back at her oasis. She smiled to herself and peeked an eye at Harry. To her delight, he was already watching her closely.
His eyes were clearly taking in her soft breasts with tightened nipples perking above the water. She wouldn’t tease him too much but she wanted his hands on her. Wanted his attention. Wanted him to give in to her. She knew what he was doing. Knew he was trying to keep his distance because she needed to heal. But that just made her want him more. His gentlemanly and thoughtful attempts to keep her healthy and the way he was doing it because he cared for her. Denying himself something she knew he wanted as a way of protecting her. 
Harry decided to peel his eyes from her body and float on his back too. He needed to straighten out his thoughts and get his mind out of the gutter. He closed his eyes and tried to train his dirty thoughts away. He knew his body was calling him to take care of his natural urges with his mate. And now that she was like him… she was very likely made exactly for him in every way. 
But he couldn’t just act on his desires. He didn’t want to hurt her and he was sure if they did have sex she’d display even more evidence of being like him and that could scare her. If she somehow dropped her fangs in the middle of her orgasm or her claws came out while he was pounding into her – yeah, his thoughts weren’t helping. All of that sounded absolutely delightful and he’d love to feel her fangs puncture into his skin, or have her claw up his back and chest. 
“Harry,” he heard her voice speak his name and he popped his eyes open, dropping the lower half of his body back into the water and letting his toes scrape along the rocky sand.
She saw the way his erection was bobbing just above the water every time his chest inhaled and he floated upward the tiniest bit. And then his eyes on hers were dark. She could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest, not unlike her own wildly pumping heart.
Something in her decided to cut the shit. She was feeling bold. Feeling like he wanted exactly what she wanted and as nice as it was to be cared for and protected by him she wanted him to fuck her. She wanted him to hold her in his arms and to give himself to her once and for all. 
“Stop this,” she spoke matter-of-factly as she swam around his body. “I can see clearly how affected you are by me.” 
Touching his shoulder she moved her finger down over his tattoos and to his pecs, thumbing at his nipple and watching his eyes, “I’m okay. Really. You don’t have to keep holding off and denying yourself, Harry.” She moved herself in front of him and draped her arms over his shoulders.
Without another thought, Harry’s hands moved down to her waist as he pulled her in closer to him, “I want you healthy is all. And I think we have a lot to talk about.”
Nodding her head she agreed. That was true. They needed to talk. But something inside of her needed something physical. She needed it to uncloud her brain and give her some kind of clarity. She couldn’t explain it, she just knew she needed it. More than a talk. As important as that was, she was sure she wouldn’t ever be able to focus on anything he told her if he didn’t fuck her first.
“Yes. We will talk. But I don’t know how to explain the way I feel in this moment, how much I need you.” She bit her lip and pushed her hips to his, his cock firm on her thigh, “It’s kind of painful actually.”
Harry could feel her warm against his prick as he looked down to see her breasts grazing against his chest. Painful? Yes, perhaps she was feeling that natural physical urge to release just like he was. That’s how it was for his kind, though he was used to it. Used to the pain of holding off and not allowing himself to indulge right away. She was not used to the way it felt. The ache that wasn’t just from being horny. It was something deep and raw. A biological and natural instinct his kind, their kind possessed. 
He knew the pain well. Knew it could be pushed down and she’d be okay. But she was new to all this. And even with the water around them he could smell how intensely she needed him. Needed him to soothe her. And he was the only one that could provide that for her too. He knew that even if she masturbated she wouldn’t be fully comforted. It would pacify her for a bit. Maybe an hour but she wouldn’t be fulfilled. She wasn’t going to feel better until he took care of her. But he needed to be careful. 
“I think you need to recover first, kitten.” Harry let the little nickname he’d given her so long ago slip out. Or maybe he’d done it on purpose. There was something about her that was feeding into his own urges. She was drawing them out of him with just her eyes. The change in her was so deep and it tangled with his own impulses and senses that he could barely think straight. He was more drawn to her than he’d ever been and he knew it was because of the change. Because she was like him now. His perfect match. 
“Harry,” she spoke softly as she kept her eyes on his, a hand moving over his warm chest, “I trust you. I know you would never hurt me and I can tell you need it too. You need me just as much.”
She could just sense his need. And it wasn’t just the fact that he had an erection. She knew it before all that. She felt it back at his house. Something between them had shifted and it was as if she could anticipate his needs without him having to tell her or show her.
His teeth ached to kiss her and to bite her. A carnal and spiritual feeling overwhelmed him. His willpower was incredible but there was only so much he could take. He was as weak as any man and her wolf was luring his out to play. Perhaps he could be gentle. She needed him. She needed him. 
He grasped the back of her head and his lips found her mouth. The kiss was hot and electric  and wild. She lifted a thigh up to his hip and he used his free hand to keep it in place, pasting their hips together.
The whimper that fell from his mouth had her grinning and feeling powerful. She grasped onto his shoulders and let the weightlessness of the water aid her in lifting her other leg to wrap around his hips. Harry groaned and brought his other hand down to keep her thighs held up in place.
Their naked bodies were in sync as he began to walk her out of the water and to the small spot where the sand met the craggy rocks. He’d take care of her. Make love to her gently and soothe her ache. Soothe his own ache. 
Their mouths never parted as he walked out of the water and carefully placed her down into the sand, his knees falling into the granules as he put himself between her thighs. With her legs open he could smell her in a way that was overwhelming. He groaned and licked into her mouth before parting from the kiss with a gasp.
The scar on her chest and over her neck had him filled with jealousy and hatred. He was glad he’d killed James for even placing a finger on his girl. His lips pressed over her scar just above her breast and she ran her fingers into his long hair as he pecked wet kisses along the skin that had been forever marred. 
“I’m going to make it better,” he whispered between kisses, “Make you feel whole again. Give you everything you need. Show you what it means to be mine…”
She closed her eyes and threw her head back as his mouth worked upward slowly and over the skin on her neck. His tongue laved softly and his lips grazed over the sensitive spots that were still healing. She had never felt such need before in her life. Sure she’d been horny before and had never been more turned on by anyone the way she was with Harry. But this was different. Something else was at play and she didn’t have the mind to dwell on it. She only knew that she needed him.
“Please…” she breathed out her plea as his warm mouth soothed her flesh and his nose nudged at her jaw.
“Hurts doesn’t it?” He continued kissing every inch of her scar as he pushed her back down into the sand, “I’m the only one that can make it better.”
She knew it was true. Whatever was happening in her could only be quieted by him.
Nodding her head she spread her legs further, hoping he’d put her out of her misery and fuck her into oblivion, “Harry, please…”
He looked down over her soft body and the scars, and felt emotions rise in his heart. He hated James even in his death, but he was beyond grateful that she was still his. That she was alive. He would worry later about the guilt and the real issue at hand. His own urges and her excruciating need were beckoning to be dealt with immediately. He could practically feel the ache in her body. Her tummy was emanating heat and he felt bad that she was in such pain. She wasn’t used to this level of arousal and need yet. She would learn to deal with it eventually but for now he would give her relief.
Her cry of pleasure was loud, echoing off the rocks of the cove that surrounded them as he placed his mouth on her throbbing pussy, already pulsing and clenching and dripping. 
The sting of her fingers pulling at his hair had him growling into her with delight. He could tell she was urging him in harder but he was going to resist doing anything hard or painful. That would come later. When he was certain she was ready for it. 
His tongue was wide and flat as he tugged it up and down her slick cunt. She was so wet he was certain he couldn’t possibly lick it all up and the flavor was just like before but now it tasted truly nourishing to him. He held her thighs apart gently as he dove into her like she was a meal. Licking and sucking at her bits. 
She writhed and moaned, her hips lifting off the sand and bucking into his face making him nearly lose his grip on her thighs. She was strong. He shouldn’t have been surprised but he was still getting used to the notion that she was like him now. 
“Fuck… yes…” she cooed loudly as his scalp was on fire from the way she was yanking his hair.
Harry didn’t lift his mouth to chuckle or respond and taunt her like he wanted. He needed to make her come so he kept his lips at work on her pussy.
When he began to kiss her clit and pull at it with the smallest nip she squealed and cried out his name as her thighs attempted to close around his head. He held her down but he didn’t want to hurt her so he moved his palms up to grip the underside of her knees to keep her legs pressed down.
She continued bucking as her muscles tensed and her moans grew louder. His nose and mouth and chin were shiny and sticky with her as he rubbed his nose into her clit and stuck his tongue into the opening and past her little muscle, the slick gushing noises the only  background sound to her gasps and soft pants.
Harry was feeling his own cock leak and throb. Just tasting her and knowing how good he was making her feel was putting him on edge. He swallowed down her arousal and took a gasp of breath before putting his face back into her cunt for more.
She’d never felt it like this before. Something far more intense was happening in her body and she didn’t know if it was because it was her first orgasm since she nearly died or just knowing that Harry was a werewolf and he was probably enjoying the taste of her in a way she never realized before. That all those times he’d told her how much he liked her scent and her taste, he wasn’t just saying it to make her feel good, he actually meant it. Or just knowing that he was a werewolf in general… probably all of the above. 
When her orgasm snapped over her body she tightened her grip on his hair he grunted into her pussy in pain, but it didn’t stop him from lapping at her and sucking her clit. She was shaking so hard and pulling at his hair so tight that he was having a hard time moving his mouth over her the way he wanted. Instead, she was moving his face over her soft crease and clit the way she wanted. 
Her cries were loud. It almost sounded as if someone was hurting her. Like she was wailing in pain and anguish. Harry understood that this was because of her intense need to release. Her first release as a werewolf by the hands of her lover. Her mate. He rolled his eyes into the back of his head in ecstasy of his own. He’d not come but he could. His own cock was neglected and hot and if he allowed it, he’d come all over himself and the sand below. But he wanted to come inside of her. He wanted to feel her around him and he knew she was going to want it. 
The part of him that wanted to wait and to talk first was already a distant memory left back in his kitchen. His instincts and his wolf had taken over at that moment.
He felt her release his hair as she sighed, wiggling underneath him.
Y/N grabbed at him, pulling him up and over her, “Want you inside me, right now. Do it while I’m still pulsing around nothing.”
Harry was beyond trying to fight this, eating her out had driven him over the edge. He was determined to give her everything she wanted and luckily for him, it was exactly what he wanted as well. The way she’d clawed at him to get him on top of her made him feral, he wondered if she was realizing the amount of force she’d just exerted in doing so, but he couldn’t dwell on it for too long, not when he looked down at her and she looked like she was going to howl with how much she wanted it. 
She yanked him against her lips and devoured his mouth, licking her arousal off of him and humming profusely, and in turn, Harry didn’t waste a single moment longer before sinking himself into her juicy cunt. The cry she let out was akin to an injured wolf’s and he knew he wasn’t hurting her, she was just giving in to her natural instincts now. That of letting him dominate her completely. 
He pulled back a bit to watch her and when she opened her eyes and her golden irises flashed at him he groaned loudly, allowing his own to take over. Her mouth fell agape and she reached to push his hair out of his face to take him all in better while he slowly but steadily fucked into her. “Harry… your eyes. They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re exactly who and what you should be, I’m so damn lucky,” she rolled her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy and Harry thought his heart was going to burst at the amount of love he felt for her. 
He didn’t know how it was possible he now loved her even more than before, but being wanted and loved for exactly who he was turned out to be a lot more important to him than he’d thought it would be. He thought he could hide this side of him from her forever and be fine with it, and he’d have done it gladly to keep her. But having it all out into the open and her so accepting of it was something he’d never even allowed himself to hope for. 
Well, almost everything out into the open. And god, was she beautiful too. She’d always been, of course, but now that she was like him it did things to him he couldn’t even explain. And it looked so right, so natural. Like she was always meant to be a werewolf. He couldn’t wait to watch her discover everything and come into her own completely. He only wished she’d accept it and embrace it fully.
He was snapped out of his reverie when she nipped at his neck and that only made him drive into her more urgently. Noting it had stung a bit too much, his eyes landed on her mouth and he could see her pointy canines pinching her plump lower lip, a bit of blood coating it.
The sight made him almost come then and there, making him moan and slow his pace a bit to regain focus. As much as he wanted to drag it out and go at it for hours, he needed to milk another orgasm from her and hopefully satiate her craving for a bit, because this was rapidly escalating and getting out of hand. She was completely giving into her natural instincts; and if she noticed any of the signs she was presenting she’d freak out and that was not the way he wanted her to find out.
He flipped her over as though she weighed nothing, not having to hide his natural strength from her anymore and began pounding into her in earnest. He was close, so close, and he knew she was too with how she moaned and whimpered and called out his name repeatedly. But he didn’t want to knot into her just yet, he first needed to explain that to her, plus this wasn’t really the setting for it, he wanted to be able to cuddle with her like that in his expensive bedding back at home, not on this rocky terrain that was sure to leave some bruises on her as it was. He knew she could take it now, he’d of course never have allowed it had she still been just human, but even so, she was recovering, and he didn’t want her feeling any discomfort. 
“Please come inside me, Harry. I don’t care. I need it... I can’t explain how much–fuck, how much I need it.”
She needn’t have worried, she wasn’t in heat (yet), so it wasn’t risky like that, but of course she’d worry about getting pregnant. Yet another reason why he needed to find a way to tell her, to avoid all the unnecessary worry on her part. For now, though, he was going to enjoy spilling into her warm cunt, because he needed it just as much. His eyes caught glimpse of her hands she’d rested her smushed cheek against, and her sharp nails were on display. Her much sharper nails. He couldn’t wait for her to claw at his back using them soon, but right now he needed to make sure she didn’t notice them. He grabbed her by her elbows and pulled her back against him, holding her hands behind her back with one arm and snaking the other to her front, finding her clit as he kept thrusting into her from this new angle.
She was already on edge and it only took her a few moments to reach her peak, crying out and letting her head fall back against his shoulder. The sight of the mark on her neck that she probably didn’t even notice wasn’t lost on him though, that was something that would always taunt him, knowing it was someone else’s bite that marked her. But he could claim it as his now, because she was, she was his. It was his cock she was pulsing around, his arms she was falling back into, his name she was whimpering- and so he allowed himself to bite over her mark as he finally gave in to his most primal urge- that of claiming her completely, while he let go and finally filled her up to the brim.
She didn’t even feel the sting of it, she was that far gone; if anything, it was pleasurable for her- as it should be. And for Harry? It was the hardest he’d ever come in his life. His fangs deep into her delicate neck and his cock even deeper into her perfect pussy, she was made just for him, and now she was his in every sense of the word.
With breaths heaving and soft gasps, Harry kept her tight against his chest. He wanted to tell her everything. Wanted so much for her to know what he was thinking. What had just happened to her. What she could expect and that it would only get better and better. If she thought that was intense…
And it was. She didn’t know how to describe the ecstasy, the relief… But it was more than just physical. Everything in and around her felt lighter and more lovely. She was happier than she’d ever been, she felt. She had a sudden urge to run and play; something she hadn’t felt in many years. It was as if being with Harry, everything just made more sense.
With a laugh she wiggled out of his arms and ran back into the water, diving in and swimming out toward the middle, only emerging with a sharp inhale for breath when her lungs needed air.
Harry couldn’t help but look at her in awe. His heart throbbed in his chest with love for her. 
“Come on! Get back in!” Y/N shouted and began to glide through the water.
Shaking his head with a laugh he walked back into the icy water and then dove under to meet her in the center of the small cove. 
She kept her eyes on the water, waiting for him to emerge but she felt his hand on her ankle before she saw him. With a yelp, she laughed and ducked under to pull at him.
Harry wrapped his arms around her body and pushed them both upward to the surface together. The lighthearted moment suddenly halted as they kept their gazes locked. Y/N moved her arms over his shoulders and drew her face in close to his, brushing their noses together, “I’m so glad I’m here with you. I’m glad I’m alive. I’m glad you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done. I thought I lost you and that’s the last thing I remember before…” she paused, feeling herself get emotional she swallowed her tears, “It just feels like… destiny to be here with you.”
He could feel and hear her heart beating in her chest and he knew she could feel his do the same. It was as if his whole life had all been leading him to this moment. He knew that this woman was his mate. He’d always known it. Maybe ever since the first night he laid eyes on her in the woods all that time ago. Despite the fact that she had a gun pointed at him, there was just something about her. Something that he knew was different. He belonged to her before he ever met her. 
“I’m so glad you’re here too. That we’re here together,” he looked down at her beautiful face as he continued, “I was ready to kill everyone when I thought you weren’t going to make it. Niall said there was no hope. That it was… too late for you,” he inhaled a shaky breath remembering the state she was in just days ago.
“Tell me about what happened. Everything I don’t know about, before, and after the fight. I want to know what happened.”
Harry began to describe the day he was taken and how he’d been outnumbered. He told her why it’d come down to that, about James’ and Irina’s involvement, the way the elders didn’t listen to him having already made up their minds and weren’t going to give him a fair trial.
But with Y/N’s quick thinking and by her reaching out to Niall a chain of events was set off that actually helped matters. 
“Lester is a pack leader too, as you know now. The Pack of the Western Plains. He has connections all over. He’s very well respected. So, with his resources he made it so that there was a trial at the very least.”
“And Eddie too? He was there.” She said, remembering the events of that day. 
“Yes. He was finally able to shift back into his human form. Because of you,” Harry brought a hand up to her face and gently brushed his knuckles over her temple.“I expected that no matter how the trial ended there would be a fight to the death. And I was certain that no matter how many drugs they’d given me or that they’d left me without food and water that I would be able to do away with James rather easily. But I was weakened. Significantly. It’s the only reason he even had the chances he did. It’s why he got in a few good tears. Had I been in my normal shifted state he would have never been able to penetrate my skin and I would have killed him within the first thirty seconds. And he knew that. So did everyone else.”
“They all let you fight like that? Did your pack not respect you as their alpha?”
Harry sighed and nodded, “They never respected me. They were always very rigid in their beliefs. They preferred the old ways of doing things. Most packs nowadays are more open and lenient. There are still strict rules we have to follow but tolerance is practiced these days. Not my pack… my old pack.” 
“Are you worried they’ll come back and try to hurt you?” 
Putting his arms around her low back protectively he pressed his forehead to hers, “I am. I’m worried they’ll try to hurt you too.”
“Even though you’ve given up the pack? And you won the fight?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t put it past them. I’ll do anything I can to protect you,” Harry paused and leaned back to look at Y/N again, “Which is why I think it would be good for us to visit Lester and Alma at the farm for a while. Get away from here for a bit. Just until we can get our bearings and heal.”
The smile on her face gave Harry relief. He wasn’t sure she’d be up for it, but she’d been surprising him since she woke up from her coma. 
“That sounds like a really good idea. I’d love to spend more time with Eddie too.”
His heart continued to lob in his chest wildly. She was more than perfect for him in every way. He couldn’t contain his joy to have her in his arms, “He’d love that. Edward is very fond of you. And he was there, at Niall’s practice. With all of us while you were in that bed. He was devastated.”
Y/N nodded and felt awful about putting anyone through such distress. She knew it wasn’t her fault but she could imagine what it would have been like to watch a friend or lover unconscious in bed and not know if they’d come out of it or not.
“... And you? How did you deal with me being in that bed?”
Harry shook his head and let his eye contact falter for a moment as he thought back to how completely ruined he felt, “Felt like I would die if you didn’t make it. Like I couldn’t breathe or eat. I talked to you all day. Kept myself close by your side and encouraged you to wake up. Made sure you were comfortable in the bed even though I knew you couldn’t really feel anything. I didn’t know what to do. Niall kept telling me it was impossible–” Harry inhaled a sharp breath and tried to calm his emotions but his eyes began to fill with tears with just the memory of how utterly hopeless everything felt. 
“Hey,” Y/N moved her hands to cup Harry’s face, “I’m right here. And I’m very much alive. We both are. I’m not going anywhere. You saved me.” 
Swallowing his tears he blinked and forced the smallest smile, “And you saved me. If it weren’t for you I would be dead right now.”
Y/N leaned in to kiss the gorgeous werewolf. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten so lucky to have him in her life. That he wanted her. She only felt more connected, in tune with him. It was as if the accident had altered something in her soul. She was changed. She figured it was love.
Harry pinched her hip softly and pulled away from the kiss. He couldn’t help it. He needed to be honest with her. He’d told her his truth when she was asleep but now that she was wide awake and in his arms he knew he had to say it that very moment or he’d suffocate, “I love you, Y/N.”
Her lips parted at his admission and she was suddenly aware of her body against his and the way his heart was rapidly throbbing in his chest at the same pace as her own. She felt as if she’d heard him say it to her before. That this wasn’t the first time. 
She gripped his biceps tight and felt herself shiver at the intensity of his bright green eyes. He loved her. He truly did and she felt it deep in her spirit. Without a doubt, he loved her.
“Harry, I love you too. So much,” she gasped as he squeezed her tight to his chest and felt him purring against her own. The comfort that brought to her was consuming. She sighed and held him tight, her cheek smushed into his shoulder.
Everything around them was dizzy and soft. She was safe in his arms. She was safe with her lover. 
When he pulled back a bit and let his head fall back, inhaling sharply and then howling loudly, Y/N gasped in excitement and couldn’t hold back her tears of joy. She smiled widely looking at Harry in his element, expressing happiness freely and it made her own heart flutter. He looked back at her, his wide smile matching her own, the echo of his wolfish howl still resounding in the cove, and she’d never seen him look happier. 
She’d done that. Just by loving him. 
The sudden vibrating in her own chest startled her. She looked up at Harry whose eyes were wide as he looked down at her. 
“Harry– what…?” She looked down at her bare body, putting a small bit of distance between herself and Harry. The vibrating stopped suddenly as she put a hand up to her chest and looked into the crystal water surrounding them and reflecting the sky above and both their faces. 
But then she stilled completely, the ripples on the surface cleared away and she focused on the features of her face, being mostly drawn to the bright golden irises staring back at her in the reflection of the water.
In stunned silence she looked up at Harry before looking back into the water again.
He knew it was only a matter of time. He just hadn’t expected it to happen like this.
A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) The long awaited update is here! Thank you for sticking with us! 
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apollodarling-writes · 4 months
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Could I request some headcanons for Hisoka? Sfw/fluff. The reader is a child (killua and gon's age, and travels with them) and somehow got attached to him. Even though gon and killua find him super creepy and don't trust him, y/n doesn't find him off-putting at all and wants to hang out with him. Like at heavens arena, instead of being disgusted at his little show he put on, she was amazed he could do such things. Reader doesn't have a dad so he kind of takes that role in her eyes. She thinks he's really cool and follows him around when he's in the area. Reader is also training as an assassin (not quite as good as killua though) so she doesn't find his desire for killing scary. I just want some cute hc's between hisoka and his little admirer :)) fem or gn pronouns.
hisoka with a child! reader hcs
cws : fluff, sfw, father-figure hisoka, murder mentions, reader is an assassin in training, hisoka trains reader, it’s been a lil bit since i’ve watched hxh so it miiight be ooc, disorganized thought process.
— killua and gon would be very, very confused at the fact that you don’t find hisoka creepy. they would both try to reason with you, but wouldn’t hold it against you if you stand your ground on the subject. although, they might be a little concerned for your wellbeing.
— hisoka would have already noticed that you favor him for than the other two, and would be more than a little flattered.
— hisoka strikes me at the tough love type of father figure. while he would dote on you, he would also make it very clear that he expects good things from you.
— hisoka would make sure you’re well fed and would go out of his way to protect you.
— i definitely see hisoka being similar to illumi in terms of the extent of his protectiveness. at some point, even killua and gon would have noticed his presence around you at all times, whether or not you knew it.
— when you ask hisoka to train you so you can protect yourself better, he would smile and tell you that he can protect you just fine. if you insist, he’ll teach you, but when he’s training you, he won’t go easy on you.
— hisoka absolutely adores you. he won’t go out of his way to hide blatant murder from you, but when he sees the way your eyes sparkle after he kills someone, his chest swells with pride.
— in all honesty, i can see hisoka making you a mini-him. not exactly forcing his own ideals onto you, but planting those seeds.
— when you tell hisoka that you think of him as a father figure, his gaze would soften almost unnoticeably and pat your head with a smile.
— hisoka would change a bit after that, he’d be a bit gentler with you, even more attentive and protective, and would make sure that he has eyes on you in some form at all times. you’re his kid, so he doesn’t want to lose you.
— when hisoka is participating in heavens arena, he won’t ascend a level unless you do. he will purposefully sabotage himself just so he can be sure that you’re safe.
— before hisoka’s fight with kastro, he’ll search for you in the crowd and give you an extravagant bow to see you smile.
— during his fight, he’ll do his best to keep an eye on you so he knows you’re not in any trouble.
— hisoka will play card games with you all day long if you’ll let him. he loves seeing you pout when he beats you, but also loves seeing you smile pridefully when he lets you win. also, expect a lot of card towers.
— hisoka will teach you nen once he deems you well versed in combat. he probably won’t let you take the hunter exam unless you really want to, just because he doesn’t want anything to happen to you.
— all in all, a (kinda) creepy dad that dotes on you :DD
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20. Okay so this is totally for myself. But I’ve found out that it is so so so hard for me to cum from guys like I’ve never cum with guys. Anyways because of this reader doesn’t want to have sex with Steve because we all know he has experience and she feels embarrassed. So each time it gets close she just jumps away and makes a random excuse. One day he sits her down to talk about and she’s like well it just takes me a lot to cum and I don’t mind helping you but I prob won’t get off and didn’t want to disappoint you and our Stevie boi is like fuck yeah challenge accepted. And idk what to do from there because this is my situation and I just need a Stevie to have patience with me and help me 🥺
I love you so much
Alright, kitten. I changed around a few things but I hope you like it.
Come Together | Steve Harrington
TW: Fem Reader, Soft boyfriend Steve, Smut, creampie
"Tell me, sweetheart. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Whatever it is, we can figure it out," Steve says, lightly brushing his fingers along your heated cheek.
Tightening your arms around your knees, you rub your feet nervously over the quilted bedspread that covers your bed. Steve asked you out a month ago, and you've been seeing each other ever since. And God, you really liked him. Ever the gentleman, he hasn't tried to pressure you into anything physical. Everything that has happened between you has been something you wanted. 
The problem is you. You can't cum, not by your hand and certainly not by anyone else's. The only time you've ever had an orgasm is with your vibrator, which is hidden in a little bag in your nightstand drawer. Friends have told you it's not a big deal, lots of women need a little extra stimulation to finish, but for you, it was the kiss of death in your previous relationships. Guys took it like some kind of challenge, and things between you fizzle out when it doesn't happen. So whenever things turn hot and heavy with Steve, you distract him with a blowjob and end the night. 
But that doesn't seem to be cutting it anymore. He wants to touch you, to fuck you, and you know if you let him, it will be the beginning of the end. He's felt how you tense up when his fingers trace over your panties. He's also felt the wetness. He knows you want him, and he doesn't understand. If you don't come clean, you might lose him anyway.
He's leaning on his elbow stretched out across your bed, shirtless, the button of jeans already opened, a lock of hair falling over his forehead, and his hazel eyes studying your face. Grabbing one of your pillows, you hold it against your face as you admit your problem.
"I can't hear you with a pillow over your face," he chuckles, pulling it out of your hands.
"I don't have orgasms," you end up almost shouting, and you can feel the blood rushing to your face. His eyes widen, but he lets you tell him the entire sordid tale without interrupting.
"So, I can go down on you or whatever you'd like, but you don't have to try to...reciprocate," you finish. In your experience, this is where he takes the blowjob and doesn't call. There's an ache in your chest at the thought of losing Steve. It hasn't been that long, but there is something between you, like a flower that hasn't yet bloomed, delicate, and growing towards the sun. 
He blows out a breath and rubs his hand through his hair, "I really like you," he says, taking your hand, "Like really like you, but I don't want to just get off and leave. I want whatever we do to be something we can share together. I'm not gonna be some kind of jackass and act like I know your body better than you do. But maybe there is another way to approach this? Is this something we can talk about?"
"Yeah, okay," your voice comes out small and shaky. 
He presses a kiss to your knuckles before he continues, "Does it feel good when I touch you?"
Letting out a breath you didn't know you had been holding, you nod your head and lick your lips, "It feels really good."
One side of his mouth raises in a soft smile, "You make me feel good too," he leans forward, brushing his lips softly over yours, "I might not be able to make you cum, but I want to touch you and make you feel good, will you let me?" His smoldering eyes hold yours with such intensity you can't imagine ever denying him. 
"Please," you sigh, your mouth already drifting towards him. 
He closes the gap between you, his plush lips covering yours in absolutely no rush, tasting you, letting his tongue tangle with yours, stealing your breath and filling you up with his. He kisses you until your sighs have turned to moans, and your hands wander up and down his chest. 
"You are so beautiful," he tells you, with a dreamy look on his face as he brushes your mouth with his thumb, "Can I see more of you?" his hand moves to the hem of your shirt, fingers dipping underneath rubbing the soft skin of your stomach.
"Yes," a warmth floods your core, "Can…can I see you too?"
He nods, returning his mouth to yours. Clothes come off between kisses, scattered and forgotten on the floor. His hands glide over your skin, leaving tingling trails behind while his warm chest presses you into the mattress, the bristly hair rubbing against your hard nipples. 
"Tell me what feels good, okay? I want to hear it," he says, kissing his way down the column of your neck, pausing every so often to suck and lick the sensitive skin. 
"That feels good," you moan and feel his cock jump against your thigh. He's enjoying you without expectations, and knowing that adds a layer of trust you hadn't felt before. 
When he cups your breast, and his mouth closes over your nipple, you pant and arch into him. Little electric jolts under your skin send shivers through your body as he sucks your nipple into a hard peak. "Steve…" you gasp, unable to finish your sentence.
"Does my girl like having her tits sucked?" he asks while his hands knead your breasts. 
"Yes," your hands run through his hair, holding him to you as his lips work your other breast. The things he's saying and the soft groans at your responses are turning you on just as much as the attention he's giving your body. Wetness coats your thighs as you rub them together, trying to find some relief for your aching core.
"Where else do you want my mouth?" He works his way down your chest and kisses the ridge of your hip, "tell me, sweetheart," he slides his hand up and down your thigh moving closer to your center with each pass. 
"My pussy…I want your mouth on my pussy," you move up to your elbows, the look on his face, his blown-out eyes, has you throbbing. Your words are getting bolder, and your confidence grows as you watch him grinding his hips into the mattress. 
His hands move to the inside of your thighs, spreading you open, "You're so wet. Is this for me?" he asks, kissing your puffy folds before his tongue darts out to kitten-lick your clit. 
"It's for you, Steve. It feels so good," the wanton noises you make spur him on. He adds more pressure and takes longer licks teasing your pulsing entrance before reaching your swollen bundle of nerves, your hips shoot off the bed when his lips suction around it. He holds you in place as he relentlessly sucks your clit, something you can't remember anyone doing in the past. Your head is dizzy and fogged with pleasure when he releases you and moves back up your body. 
"I want you to show me," he slides his tongue into your mouth, and you taste yourself on his lips. "Show me what you do when you're alone. Where's your vibrator?" he asks before going back to kissing you.
His request has you tensing up, but he kisses you through it, running his hands softly over your pussy and up your stomach to your breasts. He asks you again once you've relaxed, and you direct him to your nightstand.
"I want to make you feel good now," you protest slightly as your small bullet slips out of the bag into the palm of his big hand.
"Trust me," he says, passing you the toy, "seeing you like this is making me feel good. I want to watch you, baby," he leans on his side and spits in his hand before stroking himself. His saliva mixes with the cum leaking from the red tip of his cock, making his slow motions smooth as he waits for you to join him.
More slick drips from your entrance, and pleasure spreads throughout your body when you press the vibrating toy to your clit.
"This feels so good," he says, dipping his head to kiss you, his movements speeding up, "You've got me so hard and needy for you," he groans when you start rocking your hips, "Tell me how it feels."
"So good," you mewl, sloppily returning his kiss. 
"Can I finger you?" his hand moves from his cock to your thigh. 
"Mmmm, yeah," you sigh, pressing the toy down harder. 
His finger swirls around your entrance, coating him in slick before he slowly pushes into you, "You're so tight," a pleased hum follows his words as he moves in and out of you.
The slight stretch, the added sensation, has you aching, you want more from him, you want him to fill you, "Steve, I want you inside me."
His motions falter, but he quickly recovers, "I am inside you," he knows what you want, but he wants to hear you say it.
"Please. Will you fuck me?" you desperately plead. 
"Goddamm," he groans, kissing you frantically, "I want to so much. Are you sure?"
"Yes. I need you," you confess. 
He's up in a flash, wrapping his arms around your thighs to pull you to the edge of the bed. His eagerness makes you smile, but the want in his eyes quickly increases your need for him. 
He glides himself through your folds, gathering your wetness, "I want you to keep touching yourself. I'm going to go nice and slow. Let me know what you need. Even if you want me to stop, okay?"
"Okay," you nod, his tenderness adding an ache to your heart that matches the one in your core. 
He hisses as he pushes inside you. The intense stretch has you throwing your head back, a slight sting mixing with your pleasure. He's bigger than anyone you've been with, and he makes room inside you that hadn't existed before. A cry leaves your lips when he hits a spot you didn't know was there. 
"Did that hurt? Are you okay?" his voice is full of concern as he rubs the outside of your thigh.
"No. It felt good. Really good. I didn't…no one has ever..," you trail off and grip his wrist with your free hand, hoping he understands.
"You feel so good. You're so tight wrapped around me, and that buzz feels good, too," he keeps still inside you, giving you time to adjust. 
"You like it? You're not just doing it for me?" the question has been on your mind since you started. A slight pang of guilt has been echoing through your thoughts.
"Are you kidding? It feels really good. This is so hot. It's for both of us," he begins to gently stroke into you,"  You're so sexy right now. I'm thinking about basketball, so I don't cum."
His admission pushes away any last doubts, you turn up the speed on the vibrator and start rolling your hips to meet his thrusts. 
"That's it, baby. Take what you want," he's watching himself disappear inside you, breathing raggedly, muscles straining with the effort to keep a gentle, steady pace. His cock slowly drags back and forth against your walls, hitting that spot every time, but it's not enough-you want more. 
"Harder. Don't hold back. I want all of you," you pant, reaching for him. He leans forward, capturing your mouth as he drives his hips into you. Passionate noises fill the room as you get lost in the pleasure you share. 
"Is this okay? It's not too much?" he asks softly in your ear. 
"It's more than okay. Nothing has ever felt this good," you whisper back, kissing along his temple.
"Fuck, you don't know what you're doing to me. I'm not going to last much longer. Can I cum inside you?" his hips piston, rubbing that place inside you faster, harder. He wants to fill you, claim you. 
An exquisite feeling builds in your tummy, and you feel yourself tightening around him," Steve," you moan, bucking your hips erratically, "cum inside me. Oh, fuck," the curse flies past your lips as you realize you're hurtling towards climax. 
"Yeah, baby, I'm gonna..holy shit, you're getting so tight. You're squeezing me…are you gonna cum?" his strokes are getting sloppily. He's staying inside you longer between thrusts, driving in deeper.
"Don't stop," is all you manage to say. It's all you're able to think as you climb higher.
"Let go. I won't stop. We're going to cum together," his gentle words push you over the edge. Ecstasy washes over you as you cum harder than you ever have alone. He groans loudly as your inner muscles milk him, triggering his release. He fills you up with his warmth as your body trembles uncontrollably around him. His movements slow, but he doesn't stop thrusting until he softens inside you, coaxing out every last wave of your orgasm. 
"You're incredible," he pants, resting his forehead against yours, reveling in his bliss.
With closed eyes, you press kisses to any bit of skin you can reach as you float down, enjoying the little shocks still going off inside.
"Are you still with me?" he asks, brushing the damp hair back from your face. His expression is full of adoration as you open your eyes and smile at him. 
"When can we do that again?"
♡♡♡
If you've enjoyed this fic, please reblog. It makes a big difference in helping others find my work.
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turboacek-blog · 3 months
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Random: I wouldn’t mind Katara x Zuko and Aang x Toph in the Netflix adaptation
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So with the Netflix live-action Avatar series coming out soon, I figured I should get this thought out the way
Back when it was first announced I remember they said they were going to slightly age up Katara so that she would be essentially Zuko’s age and Aang would still be 12 (112) basically instead of her being 14 she would be 16 like Zuko
And people speculated that it’s because they want to do Zutara (Zuko x Katara)
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Amongst a number of other changes that’s has been revealed in the pre show premiere life cycle like the recent info they’re getting rid of Sokka’s sexism
I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve became neutral on remakes and reboots and such
Which includes changing things from the original is fine as the original still exists
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It’ll be ininteresting how they handle it as the original show had a sizeable focus on Aang liking Katara and I can see it shifting to just being friends but it would also change a lot of scenes involving the two as the Gaang's dynamic is the way it was because one of the threads is that Aang and Katara had the romance aspect
And without it, you will need to sell their friendship in a different way which can be fun with a more platonic take but I think it has to be done well as Aang getting upset he can hurt Katara with fire bending or just the Haru and Jet situations are different if there isn’t a potential romance brewing
And might be worse if it’s fully one-sided as in Aang still has a crush but Katara doesn’t like him in that way at all, which ties into the other ship's angle
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Katara x Zuko
It can work, I don’t think the people who shipped them were just crazy fans putting two characters together, there’s evidence
But without the Aang influence, it can be weird if not handled well let alone how they handled a character like Mai
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Aang x Toph
I think when people mention this, it’s mostly because she’s the only one who would likely still be in his age range meaning she's the most realistic option if Katara and side characters are off the table
And you can pull it off I think, from Aang being Toph’s first friend, and the mentor-student dynamic can be tweaked plus they also have an opposites attract dynamic like Zutara. And reshift the crush Toph had on Sokka and Zuko to Aang it's possible
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I just think it’s a case of they would have to truly commit and not tease too much / if it gets some backlash don't double back to the original canon pairs as you would basically be a season behind
Like don’t still do AangxKatara stuff if they are really going to do ZukoxKatara as the endgame
2/2/24 edit:
@vibee2001 let me know the Katara aging up was a rumor and she's more than likely still going to be 14, while Sokka and Zuko are aged up 1 year so most of what I said doesn't matter lol
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But since they have said it's going to lean more into the drama genre I think a lot of what I said can still be applied to leaning towards drama by having different pairings and such and the general they are making changes to some elements of the story like characters
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uluvjay · 1 year
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Injuries- T.Zegras
In which your baby of a boyfriend is home for a few days nursing a lower body injury
Trevor zegras x Established relationship reader!
Warnings?; kissing, talk about sex
Lightly proofread!
-
Trevor had gotten hurt a few days ago against the Avalanche and since then has been home with a lower body injury. Your boyfriend was tough..on the ice, at home however he acted like a baby.
He could pick a fight with veteran players that tower over him but needs you to shower with him because he ‘can’t wash his hair right’ and needs you to scratch his back or play with his hair before he can fall asleep.
And due to how nervous you got after seeing him limp off the ice and how you rushed down to the medical room, he was making sure he exaggerated his injury around you as much as he could. 
All morning for example his leg hurt so he needed all the kisses he could get because they made him feel better, and you had to let him use your heated blanket because the heat helped. He also was in to much pain to get up and make his bowl of cereal.
Currently you were in your shared bedroom getting ready to join Trevor at his checkup with the teams doctor and physical therapist.
“Where are you going?” He asked as he walked into the room to get changed.
“With you”
“What why?”
“Well you know, since your in so much pain still I figured it would be best for me to come and learn what I could do to help. Plus I already asked your Pt and she said it was okay” you told him as you turned to face him with your arms crossed
“You dirty dog” he said laughing
“What? I’m just trying to make sure my poor boyfriend gets better” you said walking over and kissing his cheek “oh and I’m driving”
“What no, your cars so low” he whined
“I know, that’s why we are going to take yours ” you said giggling knowing how he was about people driving “His baby”
After a long ride of Trevor acting like you didn’t know how to drive and keeping his hand tight around your thigh, you made it to the arena.
Trevor walked around to your side as you were getting out and took the keys off you, “My poor baby” he said as he tapped the hood of his car.
“Z I am not a bad driver you drama queen” you said laughing as he grabbed your hand
“Mhm whatever’s makes you happy babe” he said cause you to push him and you both laugh.
When you made it to the team’s physical therapist Lauren he stopped right outside the room. “Are you sure you wanna come in? I mean so you don’t have to hear me describe my pain” he tried
“Trevor shut up and get the hell in there” you told him causing him to drop his head and walk in.
After saying your hellos she had Trevor sit on one of the table things they have in there and started to ask him about pains and their scale and where they’re located.
“Honestly I’ve felt a lot better over the past two days, I’ve been stretching every morning and not doing excessive movements or anything” he explained avoiding eye contact with you.
“Okay I do have to ask, have you had sex?” She asked causing you both to blush profusely.
“No she put me in the dog house, didn’t want me to get injured more by the thrusting” he said with no shame
“Trevor!” You scolded getting even more red
Lauren however was laughing and found lots of amusement out of the situation. “Okay, we’ll we’re just gonna run some test and then you can come in to practice tomorrow and coach will let you know what he wants you doing” she told him.
After he was all finished and you were walking back to the car you brought up his pampering over the last few days. “So, drama queen now was it being pampered these last few days?”
“I was not being a drama queen!”
“Z, you literally just told her you’ve felt good for the last two days and this morning you begged for my blanket and kisses because you were in pain” you said laughing.
“Okay fine..I might have been a slight drama queen” he said as you made it to the car.
“Mhm slight” you said laughing and he pulled your door open for you
“So since I’m cleared does this mean we can have sex when we get home?” He asked a few minutes into the ride back home
“Jesus Christ Trevor” you said laughing
“It’s an honest question!” He replied laughing as well
“Yes Trevor, we can have sex tonight” you told him watching him fist bump the air like a child.
—-
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cpidsworld · 1 year
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𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍? - ATSUMU MIYA
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WORD COUNT - 2.9K
pairing: tattoo artist!atsumu miya x fem!reader
synopsis: your friend reccomended you a new tattoo artist. she said she adored his work ethic, and he was easy on the eyes. not that the latter part of her statement swayed you in any way, you made your way down to the foxy tattoo and piercing studio. you had gotten tattoo's before, that wasn't the problem, you didn't mind the pain aspect at all, or maybe you liked it a litte too much. the problem was, being stuck with your tattoo artist's hand on your waist as he tattooed on your ribcage.
warnings: semi-public sex, fingering in the tattoo chair, hair pulling, panties being used as a gag, rough sex, degradation, crying because of too much pleasure, breeding, overstim, praise, mentions of exhibitionism, orgasm control, atsumu fucks the reader while he's on the phone (lemme know if i missed any)
a/n: merry christmas ya filthy animals. was gonna post this earlier but family came over. i also rushed the end but i still think this is a good comeback for my blog. also i hope i tagged everyone correctly that commented and if you wanted to be tagged and just liked the post m'sorey and i hope the post makes it to you!! n e ways, happy reading <3
haikyuu masterlist | main masterlist
you've been going to the same tattoo studio for the past couple of years. you knew the owner so in your eyes, he was the safest bet to getting a good tattoo. that changed when your friend showed you the most recent work she had done. she sent you a picture of a gorgeous back tattoo she'd gotten done and a glowing review of the tattoo artist. 
"he was so polite and friendly, the service was amazing, and he's easy on the eyes." 
you didn’t really have a reason to try someone new, but here you were walking towards the foxy tattoo and piercing parlour. if you were being honest, you didn’t need to get a tattoo or change tattoo artists, but maybe a little change could be good.
as you walk through the glass tinted doors your eyes widen at the interior. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have much expectations for the inside, but you were proven wrong. there was a small desk in the front, while the rest of the loft-like area was filled with artwork. there were couches scattered around the work areas. It seemed as though the front area was where the piercings took place and in the back you could see the tattoo chair with all the equipment around it. 
while you were taking in your surroundings you hadn’t noticed a grey haired man walk behind the front desk. he clears his throat just a little to get your attention which instantly has you turning your head towards him.
“you okay? y’seem a little dumbstruck.”
he chuckles quietly to himself and you feel your cheeks start to burn in embarrassment. you’d probably looked like a kid who’s never set foot in a candy store, oogling at all the things their little eyes could see. he could see the pink on your cheeks before reassuring you that you’re fine.
“so, what brings ya here today?”
“i’ve got an appointment for a tattoo today, with an…atsumu miya?”
the grey haired man nods and checks on the computer to verify your appointment. he then gets up off the chair before yelling to who i assumed to be atsumu, to come out and do his job. not too long after a man who looked exactly like the one in front of you, except for the difference in hair colour. your mildly confused little brain put two and two together and figured out they were twins.
“twins, huh?”
“been stuck with him since the womb. i’m osamu by the way, and that over there as ya might already know is atsumu.”
your eyes trail up to the man infront of you as he introduces himself. he was wearing a black tank top that showed off his muscular arms, as well as the tattoos that adorned them. Your gaze tailed up to his face as he looked at you with his chocolate brown eyes. your friend wasn’t wrong when she said he was easy on the eyes.
“hi. i’m atsumu. nice ta meetcha.”
you greeted him back before he led you to the back area of the store where the he sat down, motioning you to sit on the tattoo chair.
“so, what are we doin’ for ya today?”
“i was thinking of getting a tattoo on my ribcage. barbed wire actually.”
he smiled a little, drawing something on the page in front of him. he was done, and he moved his chair closer to you and placed his clipboard on your lap. you looked at the drawing he had done, a slightly curved line of barbed wire that looked like it could fit perfectly on your body. he watched as you studied his drawing, his eyes searching for your approval. 
when you looked up at him, his eyes were already on you causing the heat from earlier to slowly creep onto your face again. you quickly averted your eyes and went back to looking at the drawing.
“it’s perfect.”
he smiled before asking you to sit up properly in the chair. your eyes were on him as he moved closer to you, as his hands ghosted over the side of your body. 
“right or left side.”
“right.”
he nodded as he moved to sit on the right side of you, hands on the chair next to you.
“may i?”
he asked as his hands were about to touch the side of your body, and you slowly nodded. his hands went to your ribcage,testing out possible placement of the tattoo. when his hands went a bit higher, just grazing the underside of your breast you let out a shaky breath. he glanced up at you and smirked a little.
after a few more changes you settled on a placement, and atsumu got straight into creating the stencil. not too long after that, osamu had announced he was going on a break and left to the back of the store, where atsumu had emerged earlier. 
once osamu was gone, you were acutely aware of how alone you two were in the store. you couldn't keep your eyes off atsumu as he worked. his muscles flexing slightly while he finished up the stencil. 
when he was done, he moved back towards you as he adjusted the chair you were sitting it to be horizontal for you to lay back in.
"if ya want you can lift yer shirt f'me, or if it's more comfortable, ya can take it off."
he said this nonchalantly as he was prepping the tools he needed for your tattoo, getting everything onto the silver table next to where he was going to work. you gulped slightly, not knowing whether to take your shirt off or not, so you ended up just taking the right arm out of your shirt, essentially having half of your shirt off, showing off the pretty lace bra you wore. 
when he turned back to you in order to place the stencil on, his eyes trailed over your exposed skin before mentally kicking himself for staring. he inched in closer as he asked you to raise your arm for him to get a better angle. he gently placed the stencil on the decided spot, massaging it with his right hand while his left hand rested on your waist, using it as leverage to help get the stencil on better. 
he didn’t realise his fingers were slightly caressing your side as he held you in place, but your body was suddenly hypersensitive and all you could feel were his fingers on your body. your thighs instinctively came together, unintentionally rubbing together. atsumu’s eyes trailed over your body down to your legs, where you were clenching your thighs, before looking up at you, without moving his hands an inch.
you avoided his gaze, unsure of how looking at him right now would affect your heart rate. you suddenly feel atsumu’s hand move higher up your waist, inching closer to your breast. your eyes snapped towards his, trying to gauge his reaction. you thought it was a bit cliche to have fantasies of fucking your tattoo artist, and if you were being honest, your previous tattoo artist wasn’t anything to write home about, moreover, he was your friend, but atsumu was a complete stranger. he was a sexy stranger who had his hand trailing up the side of your body, while maintaining eye contact with you.
you could feel the heat in your cheeks for the third time today, not sure how to deal with the situation. you weren’t opposed to it, but you were basically out in the open, where anyone could walk in.
“ya okay sweetheart? i can stop if yer not okay-”
“i’m okay. please don’t stop.”
and that’s all it took for atsumu to get up from his seat and push you back onto the tattoo chair, your back hitting the soft leather as atsumu’s arms were on either side of your head. his face was close to yours, his hot breath fanning over your face. your breath was hot and heavy, trying to wrap your head around the current situation. his eyes were scanning over your face, looking for any signs that you might not want this, but when he found none, he leaned down and kissed you, slow at first, getting to know and feel how your lips felt against his, before he picked up the pace, slowly licking your bottom lip and biting it a little to get access to your tongue. his hands found purchase on your hips as he grinds your body against his, eliciting a quiet moan from you, giving him just the access he needs to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. he kissed you so fervently, wanting to know every part of you, every crevice of your mouth, before pulling away slowly, your bottom lip caught between his teeth. 
one of atsumu’s hands trailed down from your hips to the waistband of the shorts you wore, before slipping past the threshold. his fingers lazily found their way to your puffy lips before he swiped them along your slit.
“already wet f’me? what a little slut.”
your body bucked into his hand, your hole clenching around nothing at the name. you were wet, soaking even, and he wasn’t helping. his middle finger prodded at your entrance before pushing inside you, his thumb drawing lazy circles on your clit. your hands made their way to his hair, gripping it slightly as his pace increased. you gasped as you felt him add a second finger, a shiver of pleasure running up your spine. you tried to hold back your moans, not wanting to risk getting caught, which definitely pissed atsumu off. he used his other hand to pull down your shorts and panties in one swift moment before adding a third finger to your tight hole.
“now i wanna hear ya. c’mon make some noise fer me.”
you couldn’t help but let out a loud moan, your eyes screwed shut as you writhed underneath him.
“that’s my good girl. doin’ so well f’me.”
his fingers felt like heaven inside you, your back arching off the chair as you whined for more. his free hand came to your hair and he slowly grabbed hold of it, leaning down to kiss you once again, yet this kiss was filled with lust and greed. his fingers moved like pistons inside you, you felt the heat in your abdomen growing steadily. you knew you wouldn't last long, and atsumu could feel you clenching around his fingers. he pulled away from the kiss, smirking down at you.
"look at my pretty baby, about to fall apart on a stranger's fingers. anyone could see ya, looking like a slut sprawled out on my tattoo chair."
you whined, squirming under his touch. he leaned down, head buried in your neck, whispering sweet nothings and praise in your ear. you couldn't help but come undone on his fingers, biting the skin on his neck, to hide your moans. your legs were weak, and tiredness was creeping into your bones slowly. he got up off the table and pulled your body to the edge, your ass hanging slightly off the end.
"nuh uh. we're not done yet sugar." 
he undid his pants and threw them where your shorts were and your eyes were transfixed on his cock, hard and red at the tip. you licked your lips, and looked up at him, knowing that he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. before he grabs your hips, he picks up your underwear and hands them to you.
"in yer mouth, sweetheart. need to keep that sweet voice down for me."
you take it and put it in your mouth, and his hands grip your hips. he rubs his cock up and down your folds, your juices and his pre-cum mixing, lubing him up. as he was about to push inside his phone rings. it shocks both of you as he bends down to pick it up. You shake your head violently, hoping he doesn’t answer it, but all he does is put a finger in front of his lips in a shushing motion as he answers the phone.
“oh hey ‘samu. whatcha need?”
you could feel atsumu rubbing against you again as you look at him, eyes wide, as his tip catches on your entrance every so now and again. he continues talking to his brother as he slowly began to sink inside you, biting his lip to hide his moans, and you throw your head back against the chair, biting back your moans, only a few small ones slipping past the panties between your lips. 
“nah i’m not busy. we haven’t started her tattoo yet. we had a small…setback”
he smirks as he starts to fuck into you, not allowing you to adjust to his size and still sensitive from your previous orgasm. your hand gripped his that was at your waist, nails digging into his wrist as you tried your best to be quiet, your body wanting to betray you and give in to the pleasure.
atsumu was in heaven. seeing your fucked out face in front of him, flushed and needy, holding back moans he desperately wanted to come out. in his eyes, you were perfection.
you could see on atsumu’s face he was feeling it too, his eyebrows were knitted together, sweat dripping from his brow, and his eyes never leaving yours. his eyes carried all the emotions he was feeling: lust, want, need. emotions you couldn’t help but feel as well. He leaned down over you, his face right over yours his jagged breaths and soft groans filling your senses. you were close again, and feeling him twitch inside you, you knew he was too.
“ya can get lunch for us, and the pretty girl too.”
he winked at you slyly.
“i’m coming..soon so just wait for us, yeah?”
you knew what he meant, the raspy tone of his voice and the slight stutter in his voice. he said his final goodbyes and finally put the phone down before bottoming out inside of you. you whine loudly, tears prickling at the sides of your eyes. you wanted to cum, no you needed to cum. You wiggled your hips as best you could against him, grinding on his cock. he groaned lowly into your neck before grabbing onto your hair.
“ya wanna cum? does my pretty girl wanna cum like a slut on my cock?”
Your body ached as he said that, your cunt fluttering around him.
“it seemed like ya enjoyed being fucked while i spoke to my brother. wanna have him come watch as you unravel in my tattoo studio?”
you audibly moaned at the idea, having his brother watch as you were fucked senseless. He slowly started moving his hips, his thrusts hard and deep, his pace quickening slowly.
“yeah ya like that idea, huh? well, sugar, you’ll cum when i cum, got it?”
you nodded quickly, your mind already numb. he started to pick up the pace, his cock just kissing your cervix so beautifully. the heat in your abdomen builds up quicker than before, and wants to be released, but not until atsumu was ready. you made sure to hold on, moans now cascading past the makeshift gag, not caring about who heard you. atsumu adored it. he revelled in the fact he could make you feel this way. he was getting close too, he couldn’t help it when you looked and sounded so exquisite beneath him. if he could keep you like this, he would.
he saw tears running down the side of your cheeks and kissed them away, as he whispered about how much of a good girl you are for him.
“...inside? can i cum inside?”
you heard him say, almost whimpering into your ear, and you nodded, hoping he got the message. he leaned his arm next to your head to keep him up, looking you in your eye.
“ya gonna cream on my cock before i cum, okay? need to feel you cum on me.”
you needed nothing more than to look into his eyes as you felt yourself let go, electricity flowing to all ends of your body as you came on his cock, clenching down on him so hard he couldn’t help but grip your hair tighter, fucking you through your orgasm. your poor overstimulated pussy was still being used to milk his cock, and you wanted nothing more than to have him cum inside you. you pulled him closer to you, your lips barely touching.
“please cum inside me ‘tsumu.”
he came right on the spot, his body spasming as he fucked his load into you, never breaking eye contact as he whimpered slightly, feeling you clench around his now sensitive cock. 
“fuck, you’re amazing.” 
he breathed out as he layed his head in your neck, trying to catch your breath. your hands trailed up his arms, slowly drawing shapes on them, trying to catch your breath as well. 
“you’re not to bad yourself ‘tsumu.”
you liked the way the nickname rolled off your tongue, and he enjoyed hearing you say it. He slowly leaned up, pulling out of you before quickly running to get something to clean you off with. he clean you off diligently, watching not to touch you too roughly and he cleaned himself off. you then both, got dressed and sat down for a second.
“so, do ya wanna schedule another appointment for the tattoo?”
you smirked as you leaned back on your arms.
“if it means seeing you again, i’ll make sure you’re fully booked.”
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all works belong to @cpidsworld ! Do not claim as own or reupload without permission!!
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tags: @tojiisadilfsposts @honeybuzzzzzz @lifeandtimesofpineapplehead @kuroosluthoe @aelrinv @justanothernpcartist @kvlfodusud @thisbicc @elavin @getwaves @loser1305 @sociopath0208 @alienvarmint @astennu @lomons @selfconcitedslut @malxoxo @mhasoftcore @azuremyst99 @str4wb3rrycaoke @heavnlyseraph @cloud-lyy @emotional-zebra @ranhlovebot @hornyafmovingon @vicksobus @hellvua-viper @celiniverse @thebrownemo @kenny5673 @kryzi @defextsblog @mobbbb1 @natriae @onlyitachiis @mpregandmore @t3ng3ns-s1ut @loumoon12 @honeyyy-vee @senpaisbadass @yung-usOpp @coffee-addict-32 @animerules-15 @honey-teaaaaaaaa
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quibbs126 · 17 days
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So I made more Cookie Run human designs, featuring the Cookies of Darkness
I originally started doing this months ago with White Lily, but I never got around to doing more until this week. I had drawn Pure Vanilla and Golden Cheese, but then I got really worried that my designs were wrong and I had taken too many liberties, so I shelved them for now and did these guys instead. In which I took far less liberties I think
Honestly I feel like Licorice was my best one. He was also the first I did, which might not bode well. I guess I ran out of juice too quickly
I’d argue that Matcha’s my worst, I really didn’t know what to do with her. Tragic since she’s like my favorite of the characters
I also don’t entirely know how her hair works, so I wasn’t sure how to draw it. In my head she has a really loose bun, and the bottom parts are her hair falling out of it. I also wasn’t sure what color to make her hair. Originally it was ginger, but then I considered changing it to dirty blonde, and after asking this was the result I got. Also her horns are supposed to be hair clips, not real
Red Velvet’s weird eye is supposed to be a glass eye. I couldn’t decide between bloodshot or glass eye, and when I asked I was told that the red could still work as a glass eye, so I reworked it to look “glassy”
I feel like I could have given Poison Mushroom at least some sort of hat. And as I’m typing, freckles. Maybe I’ll add those in later
Edit: I added the freckles
Also side note but it was frustrating not giving anyone something on their face, like a mole or beauty mark or just freckles. And it’s more frustrating because most characters don’t have freckles or anything like that. Might be an opportunity for liberties
I also really only wanted to draw the first 5, but I had another row left, so I filled it with Butter Roll, Affogato and Choco Werehound Brute. Dark Enchantress was going to be drawn but I couldn’t figure out her eyes
With Butter Roll I tried to convey that he has darker roots. Don’t know how good it looks though
Affogato’s white streaks are just supposed to be dye. He seems like the type to dye his hair, though I’m not sure if he’d dye it white. Purple maybe
Choco Werehound Brute I feel like I didn’t give enough facial hair. Also I swear I’ve seen a character who looks like him before. Like in some show or just a character someone made, he looks so familiar to me
But yeah, I think that’s about it for them. Don’t know who to draw next, the other Ancients and such are for another time, so just random characters. I actually think before I started drawing these guys I was considering the Juice Bar Regulars? And company, aka Alchemist and Cocoa. Maybe I’ll draw them next, who knows
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blue-babygirl · 4 months
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Would you, possibly, be willing to do Emily comforting a lesbian BAU!reader who’s just been dumped by their gf? 👀 I just think she would be so sweet about it but also so real
A/N: Okay so I'm pretty sure I went off the rails from what the anon actually asked for and just fucked it up but um.... I'll just post it now.
Status Update
Pairing: Emily Prentiss x BAU!Fem!Reader
Type: Fluff/Sweet (I think?)
Description: Break ups can suck. But you have your best friend (and hopefully future girlfriend) to help you out and spend the evening with you.
Warnings: The reader doesn’t seem all that affected by the break up tbh? I don’t think there is anything I need to add here.
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You knew that you needed to figure out a way to apologize to your girlfriend. So that’s what you did on the jet back home. By the time the jet landed, you had a plan in motion. You made a reservation at a restaurant she was talking about and ordered her favorite flowers and some chocolates. The only hitch in your plan was that you couldn’t get ahold of your girlfriend.
Well, ex-girlfriend after the call you get.
“Hey Gar-”
“OMG Y/N! Why didn’t you say anything? When did this happen? You just have to say a word and I will be at your place with ice cream and alcohol and movies!”
“Woah woah woah! What’s this about?” Emily turned to you from the passenger seat as you gave her and your phone a strange look.
“Emily! Good thing you guys are together! And Y/N didn’t tell you? She and Clarise broke up!”
“What?!?” You and Emily exclaimed at the same time.
“What? She updated her relationship status on Facebook… OMG she did it without telling you…” You could quite literally hear the grimace on Penny’s face across the phone.
“No… I- I’ve been trying to get ahold of her since the case ended but it keeps going to voicemail…”
“Oh Y/N… I am so sorry. You know we are here for you, right?” Emily gave you a soft smile as you took a deep breath to try and think clearly.
“Yes! And um… not sure if you want to know but she blocked you… that’s why it kept going to voicemail…” Penelope spoke up, making you shake your head. “Thanks Penny. I’ll see you at the office.”
“Okay. I love you, be safe lovies.” You sat back with a sigh, not sure if it was disbelief, sadness or relief that you felt. You couldn’t believe that this was how Clarise was breaking up with you but at the same time, it was also how she and her friends let people know that they didn’t like them or were mad at them. You felt sad that this is how things were ending after being with her and there for her for the last almost two years. And however bad it might be, you also felt somewhat relieved after how much she had been trying to make you choose between your job and her even though you had made it clear what your job was like and how much you loved it before you even got together.
“You know we are here for you right?” You glanced at Emily, catching her eye. You sigh, contemplating if you should speak out your thoughts.
“I know… Honestly, I don’t really know how to feel. We were together for two years and instead of giving me the courtesy of telling me herself, she just blocked me and changed her status, which honestly hurts. But at the same time, she has been pretty insistent about me choosing her over my job over the past couple months, so this is somewhat of a relief too because I don’t want to choose.”
“I feel you. Most of us seem to have the same issue.” Emily chuckled, but you could feel the bitterness of it. You groan when you remember that you need to cancel your reservations and the orders, knowing that you won’t get your money back.
“I’m gonna have to cancel my reservations and stuff and I’m not even going to get my money back. This sucks.” You take out your phone just as Emily speaks up.
“Well… you can still go? I mean, by yourself or we can go as a group if you want?” “You know what?” You speak up after a moment of silence. “I don’t want to go alone, and the reservation is only for two people. How do you feel about going with me?”
“Like a date?” Emily exclaims and you can hear the surprise in her voice.
“Well… not exactly… but we can do that after I move on from everything with Clarise?” You bite your lip as you shoot your shot.
“Well… a-are you sure?”
You shoot Emily a soft smile as she glances at you, “A 100% sure.”
“I would love that…” You can see Emily blushing under the streetlight as she parks outside your apartment building.
“Perfect. I’ll pick you up in an hour?” You smile at her as she nods, grinning at the blush covering her cheeks. “Emily Prentiss blushing? Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Oh hush! If anybody ever hears about this…” Emily threatens. “No one is going to hear. Your secret’s safe with me Em. Now, I’m gonna go get ready and by the time I get to your place, you better be dressed up Agent Prentiss.” You grin as you tease her, getting your bags and leaving the car.
One hour later, you are standing outside Emily’s apartment building with flowers and a box of chocolate, waiting for Emily to get down. You grin when you see her coming out in a beautiful red dress that doesn’t even compare to the beauty wearing it.
Emily smiles at you as you exchange greetings, blushing when you give her the flowers and chocolate.
“These aren’t the ones you ordered on the jet.” Emily says as she gets into the car.
“No, they are in the trash. I was not about to give you the flowers I bought for Clarise, Em. You deserve a lot better.” You start the car, giving her one last smile before starting to drive.
The rest of the evening is a blur of conversation, laughter and memories being made. You both enjoy a selection of high-quality food followed by an ice cream stop before driving to drop her off at her apartment.
As the night comes to an end, you are sure of two things. One, the two of you won’t be dating until after at least 3 months because according to Emily ‘that is the required amount of time to get someone out of your system’. Two, you are willing to wait an eternity if it means that you can date Emily at the end.
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highpriestessarchives · 2 months
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Know Thyself: How This One Exercise Shaped My Writing
“Know Thyself” Interpretations
Heraclitus: “It belongs to all men to know themselves and think well.”
Charles H. Kahn: this fragment echoes a traditional belief that “know thyself" had an essentially similar meaning to the second Delphic maxim, “nothing too much;” both sayings might be considered alternative ways of describing the virtue of sophrosyne.
Heraclitus defines sophrosyne as the art of “perceiving things according to their nature,” apparently referring to the perception of objective, material facts. If so, and if self-knowledge is the same as sophrosyne, then, as Kahn writes, “the deepest structure of the self will be recognized as co-extensive with the universe in general … so true self-knowledge will coincide with knowledge of the cosmic order.”
A fragment from Ion of Chios provides the earliest explicit reference to the maxim. It reads: “This ‘know yourself’ is a saying not so big, but such a task Zeus alone of the gods understands.”
“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates
Soliloquies of Augustine: The book has the form of an “inner dialogue" in which questions are posed, discussions take place and answers are provided, leading to self-knowledge. The first book begins with an inner dialogue which seeks to know a soul. In the second book it becomes clear that the soul Augustine wants to get to know is his own.
The Consolation of Philosophy: Boethius writes The Consolation of Philosophy as a conversation between himself and a female personification of philosophy, referred to as “Lady Philosophy.” Philosophy consoles Boethius by discussing the transitory nature of wealth, fame, and power (“no man can ever truly be secure until he has been forsaken by Fortune"), and the ultimate superiority of things of the mind, which she calls the “one true good.” She contends that happiness comes from within, and that virtue is all that one truly has because it is not imperiled by the vicissitudes of fortune.
Meditations: Marcus Aurelius likely didn’t intend for Meditations to be published, as the work centered around his own self-analysis and self-guidance. Aurelius advocates finding one's place in the universe and sees that everything came from nature, and so everything shall return to it in due time. Another strong theme is of maintaining focus and to be without distraction all the while maintaining strong ethical principles such as “Being a good man.”
...to think that all of these classic works are “regular” people figuring themselves out. I decided to do the same.
Writing My Own “Soliloquy”
I’d like to clarify that I, in no way shape or form, see myself as this great thinker or philosopher or anything like that. I recognize that this practice is but one way to understand myself, especially since I struggle with mental health and a lot of spiritual questions (but that’s another topic).
In choosing to write my own soliloquy, I am becoming my own Devil’s Advocate. Like Boethius, I’ve decided to structure my journaling as if I am arguing with someone. I will choose a topic that I am passionate about or that I am having my own crisis over, such as “Why do I not believe I am a good person?” or “Why do I prefer logic over emotion?” or even “What draws me to classical paintings?”
What I found is that anything and everything that I am attached to says something about me on a deeper level.
Here is where it gets a little tricky: in continuing to argue with myself, I’ve found that I get better at coming up with counter points. In other words, this self-analysis becomes more and more complex the more used to it you get. It’s almost like you’re playing some mind chess and this fictional opponent, who is also you, as they are but your own Devil’s Advocate, is also getting better and learning with you.
But, to me, that is what makes this “Know Thyself” maxim important. You are not meant to have a full-fledged answer. We are constantly evolving and changing, as will our knowledge of how we perceive ourselves and how we perceive the world in response to it.
How It Affects My Writing
To start with the obvious, the character development and creation changes so much when you get to know yourself. At least, for me, the world becomes less and less black and white (not that it ever was black and white to begin with). Because of that, my characters become more dimensional.
I am no longer afraid to write controversy. There is a... debate, for a lack of better words, on the media literacy rate nowadays. Because of this, I would fear that, just because I wrote about it, people would assume that I am in support of it; or, for example, just because there is a mainstream focus on one demographic, that nuances of that focus cannot be written about (again, another topic).
However, writing my soliloquies reminds me that my work is meant to be a message from myself to the audience first and entertainment second.
As artists, authors, creators, etc., there is a danger in losing ourselves to appease the masses. There is the question of whether we should create what we want or stick to what is trending, and I’m not immune to that spiral, either.
In knowing yourself, you become your #1 advocate. You know what your boundaries are, what your morals are, and what your values are. It gets harder to allow those who don’t do that same work to sway your pen.
Closing Words
Whatever form that takes, get to know yourself. For me, that’s journaling whenever I can as if I’m debating with someone. Grab a journal meant specifically for this exercise and go crazy! No one’s going to read it (unless you become someone like Marcus Aurelius and your own version of Meditations comes out. In which case... sorry?)
Never stop challenging the way you think, too. It can be uncomfortable and hard, but change always is. Perhaps you will stick to your ideals, and that’s okay, too! Do not live life on the easy path.
As always, these exercises are not a substitute for professional or medical help. I will always encourage those who need it to seek therapy, as I believe it is a great tool to use alongside this exercise, should one feel inclined to do so.
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