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dufrau · 6 months

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Okay so bear with me this is Erathia fanfiction aka fic of a movie within a fic aka absolute nonsense inspired by @eskawrites

It's ronance but also not ronance? But it is ronance?

(if you havent read this story that we found ourselves in this will make no sense im sorry and even if you have read it this might make no sense! it is for me and like 3 other people! but also you need to read it and then start reading the nancy pov if you love yourself even a little)

Anyway it's uh. Their wedding night? But in sort of a "i heard you like fake dating AUs so i put a fake marriage AU in your fake dating AU but of course its a very real marriage but robin/lark hasn't fully grasped that fact?"

(Lark= Robin, Tenar= Nancy)

"It was a lovely ceremony, Your Highness."

Lark stood stiffly with her back to the door, ill at ease in the queen's quarters in a way she hadn't felt since her first days in the castle. Tenar moved about the room brusquely, as if willing the strangeness away with her quick little movements. Brushing the enormity of what they had done away like dust from her desk, as if any dust would dare settle on her royal furniture. The maid could hear a mote fall from across the courtyard, it would not last a second.

"Did you think so? Really?" Tenar asked, making no attempt to mask the doubt in her tone.

"It was a successful one, at the very least," Lark conceded. "Your plans, as always, gone off without a hitch."

"One hitch, intentional as it were," Tenar corrected her.

"Right."

Tenar turned to look at her, standing at attention by the door, and let out a deep sigh.

"Come take some wine, I think it would do you some good. You've been too sober all day."

"For your safety, Your Highness," Lark insisted. "Beloved as you are to your people, there will always be some who would take liberties. It is my job to be too sober."

Tenar laughed, ringing like clashing steel, her wits undulled by whatever wine she herself may have taken.

"I know it well. Was I not married today with a scabbard on my hip?"

That she was. She wore a gown, of course, as per tradition. But on top of it she had donned a leather coat, plated in steel. Lighter than her real armor, fitted and filigreed for ceremony. But it would slow an arrow if not stop it outright, if by some catastrophic failure an arrow was allowed to get that far.

Her sword now lay discarded across the great map table in the center of her quarters. The entire kingdom laid down willingly under her blade.

They were a grateful people, by and large, for the peace she had won them. And there had been no whispers of violence that day. Only celebration. Carts sent out through the cobbled streets of the city and out along the cowpaths to the villages loaded with wine and meats and everything needed for a feast. The ceremony would not be held hostage in the great hall of the palace but spread out across the realm, every person invited to partake.

When Lark had stood on the dais in her own finery and watched the queen take the stairs one by one, accepting Moss's steadying hand as if daring the people to question her forgiveness, she had all but lost her breath at the sight of it.

She had stumbled blindly over the vows, repeating them almost mindlessly as Ged struggled not to laugh. The vows were nothing to her. She had taken them long ago in secret. They bound her heart and her hands as surely as her nerves bound her tongue in repeating them now before this audience of friends and strangers.

Arren had stood at her back, and she was grateful for his snickering presence. The only normal thing apart from the taunting fire in Tenar's eyes.

That fire undying, it shone as fiercely as ever now when it was just the two of them as it did for the entire kingdom. Lark had a selfish wonder if perhaps that fire was meant for her all along.

It burned her, regardless.

She pushed herself off the door and into the queen's gravity. She took the offered glass and she drank, and she felt the warming wine move through her. Only the best for the queen.

"I appreciate your participation, today," Tenar told her when she was satisfied with Lark's sipping. "I know you've never cared for ceremony. I fear I've bound you to a life of it, now."

"I suppose I could take in a hunt when I sense a feast day approaching," Lark said. She felt loosened already by the wine to some small degree, enough at least to jest. "Is that not the proper pastime for the Queen's consort?"

Tenar smiled up through her eyelashes. Through her crown.

"Indeed," she said. "But be careful not to catch anything or we will need to throw another feast to show off your prowess."

Lark took another sip of her wine.

"I have not missed a ceremony or a feast these recent years as it stands," she sighed. "Now at least I can count on a comfortable chair."

"You can count on anything you need," Tenar reminded her. "This hasn't changed. I would have given you any chair in the realm if you had asked. But you don't ask."

"I'm a woods-grown rogue, I have sat in places far worse than the chairs in your court."

"Would you like to sit on my bed? It's softer even than a throne. To help me with my dress, if it pleases you."

The fire, undying.

Lark swallowed her wine roughly, the warmth turned to burning.

"Would not your handmaidens be better suited?" She asked. Her fingers twitched around her goblet.

"I can call on them, if you'd prefer." Tenar turned her back to pour more wine and Lark was faced with the temptation to do as the queen directed. How easy it would be to untie those strings. Like setting a snare, only this time Lark feared she was the one in the trap. "I thought you might appreciate the privacy after having so many eyes upon you today."

"You are too kind," Lark thanked her. "I only worry that it wouldn't be appropriate, Your Highness."

"We are married," Tenar spoke it into existence. The reality of it almost sent the wine back up Lark's throat. "It is more than appropriate. If anything it is expected."

The wine stayed down but a laugh came up in its place. She set her cup down.

"Well I fear I'm doomed to fail at fulfilling those expectations." Her free hands gestured disbelievingly. "Certainly no heir can come of it, unless your court magician has tricks up her sleeve I am not privy to."

"No tricks, no." Tenar shook her head.

"Well then what can they expect of us? Of me?" Lark felt herself rising to panic. "What is it we owe them, in here? I won't sully you in the name of ceremony."

Tenar laughed without humor.

"Sully me?" She asked. "Do you think me so soft? So easily broken? Do you still think me the wilting flower? The helpless princess locked away safe in her castle?"

"No, My Lady," Lark insisted. "I was a fool ever to mistake you so."

"You are many things, but a fool has never been among them."

"Your Highness-"

"Enough!" Tenar's patience rarely ran out but she let it now. "Don't feed me more formality, I have had my fill. We are equals. If you won't call me your wife I would have you at least use my name."

"You have no equal, My-" Lark cut herself off. She cleared her throat, trying to clear away the tenderness that always gathered around the two syllables she had to speak. "Tenar."

She watched the word hit her queen's ears, watched them pink.

"You make music of it, my name," Tenar said softly.

Lark looked at the ceiling and loosed a helpless laugh. "It is the only song I know."

Tenar stepped forward and took Lark's hands into her own. A warrior queen, her dainty fingers calloused and strong.

"I should think a woods-grown rogue would have heard some more bawdy lyrics than those," she offered.

"If I have ever heard any I have long since forgotten them," Lark told the truth.

"I believe it." Tenar's eyes were steel. Unbending in her resolve. "You're no rogue anymore. You wear your station like a costume, and I understand it. I do the same, much of the time. But I know your heart. It is real. And those that look upon you, that look upon me? To them it is real. It has to be. They'll look upon us, now, together. What will we show them?"

Lark felt wordless under Tenar's gaze. She fell back upon her oath. "Your will is my will, my queen. I will be what you need me to be."

"I need you to be your own self, Lark." Tenar insisted. "I need you to stay my hand when it would move too hastily. To act when I am unable. I have a sword, and an entire armory full of spares. I don't need another weapon to wield. I need a wife, if you would be one. But do not mistake me, it is your choice, always. Even now. I would have your friendship and be grateful for it, if that is what you offer."

"I will be whatever-"

"Lark." Tenar dropped Lark's hands and took hold of her face now, forcing her to look, and to see.

The fire. Undying.

Lark could not win this war against a woman who never flinched. She broke open.

"Fine. Yes." She raised her hands in surrender. She could only beg for mercy. "You have me. I'm caught, at last. There are likely still bounties on my head somewhere, and they are yours if you'd like to cash me in. You have me. I am yours. I have been your friend. I would be your wife if you should somehow find me acceptable." She fought for her breath and she caught it. She slowed herself. "I would be your wife, Tenar. If you would have me."

"I would."

"Well then. I guess you do. Have me."

"And you have me. Understand, I would not be sullied, by you or by anyone." Tenar told her. Lark's apology was cut down in its stride. "But you have marked me already, and deeply. It cannot be undone. And I am the better for it."

Lark was all out of oaths. "You flatter me."

"I do not waste my words."

"Flattery is not wasted on me, Your Highness." She watched a smile touch her queen's face underneath the flush of frustration.

"I have asked you to stop that." Tenar let go of Lark's face and stepped back. "I took a knee to ask you to marry me and you took a deeper one to say yes. Will you never stop putting me above you?"

"It is a hard habit to break," Lark mused. "I have spent so long looking up at you, even despite your stature."

"Ah!" Tenar laughed, sincerely. "Insubordination, at last."

"Progress marches ever forward." Lark, too, marched ever forward, following in her queen's footsteps.

Tenar turned and asked over her shoulder. "And how does it sit, this equality?"

"Unsteady, truth be told."

"Well,"Tenar offered. "If even footing is too much to bear, can I suggest that I might prefer to be beneath you, at present?"

Lark could only sputter. "Are these the bawdy lyrics you spoke of, my queen?"

"My name," the queen insisted.

"Tenar," Lark breathed.

"There. That is the tune. Now come and sit on my bed where it is soft. Help me with my dress. I will teach you the words."

#cfdau #tenlark #ronance #eskawrites #basically this is the same flirting i always write but in an obnoxiously different dialect #im sorry #or youre welcome #this is not canon in the erathia/cfdau universe this is just me exorcising a brainworm

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tiredrobin · 1 year

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opinion on raincoat girl?

oh, hi!!! this is both a very fun and somewhat bewildering ask! mostly because raincoat girl does not, as far as i am aware, commit any notable acts that might be seen in a negative light! (her locking six out of that shed doesn't count due to the fact that six was down and she was still being hunted. it was a smart decision, and i don't fault her for her fear.) my opinion of her is Neutral Positive, overall. HOWEVER: i do have Thoughts, and i will delightedly share them!

RCG will henceforth be referred to as Ricky by me, which is the name i gave her because the "rc" in rcg translated to ricky in my head and i felt that "raine" was way too on the nose. this is silly, because rk is probably way more likely to get that kind of name logically? but i've been calling rk Una for since i learned about them, pretty much, so. rk is una, rcg is ricky.

DISCLAIMER: i havent played vln and i havent watched a complete playthru. i've read all of ricky's wiki.

anyway. since i haven't seem (much) gameplay, im not particularly familiar with ricky's body language or conduct. most of what i understand about her is based around the fact that the nomes of the maw have apparently drawn her, and that she helps other kids and nomes multiple times throughout her escape from the nest. so i personally think ricky is (or was, rather) helpful and compassionate. she seems survival-oriented in a way that makes her inclined to help others, likely because she recognizes that thats how u Get help.

she goes out of her way a few times to help the kid in the red scarf and six, and iirc she does seem to follow them, or at least her path consistently heads in the same directions they've gone. this can be, of course, limitations set by the environment; only so many climables, only so many vents. she likes nomes and toys (evidence for toys: the vln collectible spring toy thingies). however, the general vibe i get from her is that she's a pretty independent person most of the time. she knows her skills and limits and is good at thinking several steps ahead, and does well with little. she has no qualms asking for help—all the nome-focused puzzles—but she's focused and determined enough to manage on her own as she needs.

i also get the general vibe that ricky's kind of playful and silly? i bet she likes little jokes and practical pranks, or she would if those were plausible in the ln reality. i bet she'd use humor to cope with things and it'd seem pretty lighthearted, at least hypothetically. this aspect mostly comes from (1) the general atmosphere of vln is lighter and way less spooky due to game style and limitations; (2) something about her hot air balloon or blimp, man, idk, it just speaks to me; (3) her collectibles are playful and relatively lighthearted compated to mono's remnants and six's statues. kinda. sorta.

random hcs are that she's a year or two older than six, maybe. she'd be the second tallest (usurped only by mono), and she would have a hard time getting along with mono. she and una would be fine, and i think six would be okay with her but they wouldn't be super close or anything.

hm. there you have it! not rly sure what else to say—i don't really care about ricky all that much, unfortunately. i don't NOT care about her, it's just that she's dead and an important piece of six's background, so my interest in ricky is mainly in that and not really in herself as a character. sorry if that's disappointing!

thank you for the ask i had fun putting my thoughts into words :]. lemme know what you think, maybe, nonnie?

#robin rambles #little nightmares #ln #rcg #ln rcg

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intersex-support · 2 years

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Would you be able to look at my symptoms and point me in a direction? Im afab with non-ambiguous genitalia, but I've thought something could be off. My Dr says that we can't test for hormone problems because I need to perpetually be on birth control now, but I don't really know what to make of my reproductive health.

I didn't have a period until I was 18 yrs old. I never developed breast tissue until my highest dose of estrogen in my 20s and even then I have a small chest. When I started my period, it just never ended. Like I only stopped bleeding now, when I'm 27 and have had an IUD for a while. At first it was very heavy, but with sequentially higher bc doses it got lighter and is finally gone. After the first 2 years I had to get a blood transfusion because I lost too much blood lol and was fainting constantly. Even then it was a while until I recovered. I know I don't have haemophilia or a significant blood clotting problem (I have a minor one due to ehlers danlos). I know I don't have uterine cancer. They think I do have some endometriosis, but have told me the period is likely a hormonal thing. I don't have cysts on my ovaries as far as drs can see after multiple tests, and my current gyno (who seems the most truthful and good tbh) says that I probably just never ovulated really which is why it was perpetual. My first Dr to do an ultrasound came back and said "so you do have ovaries" which I've always thought was suspicious because it did not sound like a joke.

I had to be taken off estrogen because I have migraine with aura, and since I've got my mustache back.

I do have facial hair and more than average body hair, but nothing too drastic. I still have hormonal acne which I hate. I ask because I havent been able to find much about "late bloomers" and never ending periods without haemophilia. My Dr admits she doesn't know if it's PCOS, but said it's probably not worth testing because I don't want kids. Does this sound familiar to you? Would you know what tests to ask for?

I have a lot of health problems outside of this too, but it seems like this is separate. It may not be anything intersex related, but I don't know what it could be and it has been a source of some pain in my life because it did almost literally kill me without having any idea why this is happening lol.

Hi anon,

It sounds like you've been going through a lot in terms of health problems, and I really hope that you're able to find some answers. I'm not a medical expert so I can't really speak on what all the possibilities are, but I can speak about some things in the intersex direction.

It sounds like you've ruled out blood disorders, or at least blood disorders beyond your blood clotting problem with EDS. You've ruled out uterine cancer and I'm guessing you've also ruled out cervical cancer. Have you ruled out thyroid problems? That can be another possible cause or contributing factor. It does sound like your doctors have been evaluating whether or not you have an intersex variation, and I honestly think that it might be really likely. The fact that you have to be on consistent hormones to manage your period is really significant to me and I think that there's a lot of things that you've described that make intersex variations worth looking into.

Since you know that you have ovaries and you do experience a period, we can rule out a lot of intersex variations. What I really think you might want to look into is (N)CAH. I have NCAH, and I had a constant period. Literally would bleed for months, constantly, got severely anemic, and the only thing that stopped it was getting a progesterone IUD. I got my period when I was 11, had other clearer signs of hyperandrogenism, and went through puberty, so not quite the same as you, though. I also have some weird comorbid chronic illness things that might have contributed, but my constant period was the thing that basically got me diagnosed with NCAH. The fact that you have other symptoms like more body hair and hormonal acne is also a clue. It might even be possible that you have CAH (that's not salt wasting) that is one of the rarer types.

I'm not an endocrinologist and I don't know the specifics about what hormonal birth control makes what tests impossible, but I'm pretty sure there are some tests that should still be able to be done, especially if you are not on estrogen and are only on progesterone. The tests for (N)CAH are to get your testosterone levels checked, to get an ACTH stimulation test, and an 17 ohp level test. I think that you should still be able to get these done with a progesterone IUD, although I know estrogen can affect the ACTH stimulation test results. I'm not as familiar with how the other subtypes of CAH are diagnosed, but I know it involves testing responses to cortisol and also might require genome sequencing. PCOS is also basically diagnosed the same way as NCAH (some doctors are starting to see NCAH and PCOS as way more related than previously thought.) PCOS is diagnosed when everything else is ruled out and when two of these three things are present: hyperandrogenism, ovarian cysts, and oligo anovulation, which is basically irregular periods and difficulties with ovulation.

Honestly, if you hadn't said that you got an ultrasound done and that you had normal ovaries, I would have pointed you towards Turner's syndrome and mixed gonadal dysgenesis, because from your ask it sounds like you didn't start to go through puberty until you went on estrogen, and that really jumps out at me as something that Turner's syndrome could cause. Again, not as familiar with whether ultrasounds can malfunction, but I did just read this study that says that some people with Turner's syndrome had ovaries that appeared totally typical on an ultrasound. I really think you might want to look into getting an ultrasound again, or get a gonadal biopsy to see if you have ovotestes. This is a list of symptoms of Turner's Syndrome. To get diagnosed with Turner's syndrome, you would need to get a genetic karotype. If you have any hearing loss or heart problems, those can also be signs of Turner's Syndrome. Mixed gonadal dysgenesis can also cause some similar symptoms, and would be diagnosed through a genetic karyotype.

I also think something you might want to look into is another intersex variation called Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) insensitivity. This is rarer, and I know less about it, but basically, it causes ovaries to not work right, creating a lack of estrogen, can even cause ovarian failure. People with FSH insensitivity usually don't have puberty without hormones, like you described. I'm not familiar with what periods typically look like when people with FSH insensivity go on estrogen, so someone correct me if I'm totally wrong. But a lot of things you've described really line up, and it might be worth it to get your FSH levels tested. I think you might also need to get gonadal and gonadotropin levels measured to diagnose FSH insensitivity.

I will admit that some of what you're describing is more severe than what is the typical presentation of these intersex variations, but I don't think that necessarily means that it isn't possible. I could also totally see it being the case that some of your other health issues like EDS could interact with a possible intersex variation to worsen the symptoms. I can't say for certain whether or not you have an intersex variation, but I will say that this ask had a lot of things that made me really, really think that it might be a possibility. Like. even more things than the typical asks I answer on here.

Honestly, if it's possible, I would look into getting a referral to an endocrinologist who specializes in intersex care (probably the language they will use is disorders of sexual development). It can be harder to find doctors as an adult, so it might even be worth reaching out to an intersex team at a pediatric hospital to ask them for referrals, because I think that what you're describing is going to take a specialist to diagnose. Your symptoms in many ways seem very clearly intersex, but they differ from the typical presentations in a few ways that might challenge doctors. If you want to send in another anon ask with more specific information about your location, I'm happy to do research for you to try to find a doctor who might be an expert.

Seriously wishing the best for you, anon, and please feel free to reach out with any other questions. You really deserve answers and support in this journey, and you are welcome to vent, ask questions, anything you want in the inbox. Love and solidarity from the mods here!

-Mod E

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #btw if you want to join the intersex discord as well. send an ask off anon #also anon this ask literally reminded me of so many things that have happened in my health journey #like. so so many #so like I really feel for you and literally. anything u need from us feel free to ask #I know how frustrating this is!!

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lostgreekgod · 3 years

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hey!!! wud u write a fic where y/n is kidnapped & tortured by hydra when a mission goes bad. and loki finds her after like 2 days. and he says somethibng like "i thought i lost you" thanx!!!

resonance

a/n: writing this on spot again. havent been on microsoft word in so long LOL. also sorry this took forever. and tbh, idt ill ever do anything apart from drugging someone in my fics

word count: 3712

warnings: torture, electrocution, drugs, paralysis, suicide mention, lots of angst

pairing: loki x f!reader

taglist: @gaitwae @theaudacitytowrite @naterson lmk if u want to be added

"Now, miss y/l/n. You know how this goes. Tell us about file 3958 and we'll let you go. I cant see why you don't understand something so simple; why endure all this torture for a mere file?"

y/n groaned. Her nerve endings twitched with residual electricity, her teeth chattering from the many buckets of ice-cold water that had been dumped onto her. Hair stuck to her face, her eyes red. She had lost count of the number of times the blonde-haired man in front of her had electrocuted her. Her heart pounded in her chest, her head getting lighter with every passing second. She breathed deeply, shutting her eyes, her back hunched as she sat on a little metal chair. Her hands were bound tightly behind her, her spine cold from the periodic electrocution, followed by the water. 2 days since the mission had gone awfully wrong. 2 days since her backup thought she was dead, 2 days since she had been left with the enemy-- poked and prodded continuously. How long had it been since she had gotten any sleep? Since she had gotten something to eat?

y/n whimpered lightly when she felt a harsh hand cup her chin. "Look at me when I speak to you," he whispered, his voice cold and threatening-- his ice-blue eyes coated with pure malice. y/n stared at him as she continued working on calming her breath. He was going to electrocute her again, and she had to remain calm and breathe as much as she could, if she wanted to make it through. She thought about Loki. What must he be doing at the moment? Would he hold onto his hope, still looking for her? Urging the other agents that she was still alive? Or would he have given up, his heart hollow of any emotion? He had experienced loss before, and that had almost killed him. What would it do to him now?

The blonde-haired man sighed, realizing she wasn't going to give in yet. He was going to have to break her, and he would kill her in the process if he had to. "Again," he ordered, stepping away from y/n. She locked eyes with the man, her lungs screaming in agony. She didn't know how much longer she could endure this. Sure, she could give away the information, but it was obvious. They would kill her anyway. Would Loki ever find her? Or was this the end?

She shuddered to think about spending her last days where ever she was being tortured. Would she ever be able to see Loki again? What was the last thing she had said to him? She remembered his warm gentle smile, his green, green eyes focused on her like she was the only light in a dark abyss, his strong arms around her as they lay in bed, contemplating their future-- his heart, pumping steady against hers. Would she ever be able to tell him, that she was sorry-- that she loved him so, so much? Would she ever be able to tell him how much wished their story was different? Would she ever be able to hear his smooth silvery voice, his chest rumbling as he spoke sweet nothing into her ear? Before y/n could complete that thought, she felt a warm buzz against her icy wet skin, the little prickles turning into sharper, harsher prods-- until all she could hear was her scream reverberating against her own skull.

Loki rubbed his eyes in frustration, his mind begging for sleep. But he knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he found y/n. His heart seemed to be beating erratically, it had been ever since he found out about how the mission had gone haphazard. His blood got colder by the second. The few agents who had survived had no idea of y/n's location. His darling y/n. What ever kind of torture must she be going through? He remembered how his mind lost all sense when they told him. We couldn't find her. We tried, but she just... disappeared. We are terribly sorry but... there's no way she could have gotten out after such a huge explosion. She's gone, Loki. He remembered the lust for blood that had taken over him on learning this new information. Loki shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts. No. She can't be gone. The y/n he knew was so much stronger. He refused to believe that she was dead. He shut his eyes, running his fingers through his raven hair. They stuck out at odd angles, evidence of his frustration. He sat on his bed, his mind buzzing within the quiet sanctity of his room. He had done everything, everything he could think of to find her, but he simply couldn't succeed. 2 days, and not even an actual god could think of any way to help. He put his hands to his forehead, laying back on the bed. He shut his eyes, his mind reliving their last moments together. He still felt the soft brush of her fingers on his jawbone, her eyes sparkling at his, her sweet, sweet voice like honey. She could ask him to jump off a building, and he would. She could ask him for anything with her euphonious voice and he would be a slave to all her asks, undoubtedly.

"Brother! Brother!" Thor burst into his room, interrupting his train of thoughts. He panted lightly, his eyes looking around erratically before focusing on Loki. "They've found her," he whispered, his electric blue eyes never leaving Loki's pale green ones. Suddenly, all of Loki's world had come to a stop, his eyesight blurring for a moment. SHIELD had found her.

"Ready to talk now?" the blonde-haired man questioned, a sweet edge to his voice. But something about that sweetness was so wrong, somewhat perturbing. y/n's skin rose in goosebumps, her entire body shivering, the tip of her nose cold from all the water. Her heart still beat in her chest, never giving up. She wished it would stop, she wished she could end this misery for herself. It was better to die on her own, right here, instead of giving away the information and still undergoing a painful, slow death-- courtesy of HYDRA. She straightened her back, leaning against the back of the chair. Meeting the man's eyes, she smirked. If she was going to die, she might as well spite the doctor before that. Maybe he'd kill her faster.

The man looked at her, surprised by her reaction. All this torture, and yet so much intrepidity? His stomach churned as he lunged at her, his face now only a few centimeters away from hers. He placed his hands on the arms of the chair, his eyebrows scrunched in hatred. y/n was taken aback by the motion, but she maintained her poise. She noticed the man's frustration. Perhaps, she could use that to escape? Just one last try before she succumbed to the cruel whims of fate? She maintained eye contact with him, waiting for him to threaten him again.

"Are you stupid, y/n? Or simply masochistic? What part of 'tell me or I will kill you' do you not understand?" the blonde-haired man yelled, droplets of his spit spraying on y/n's face. She jerked back in disgust for a moment before recollecting herself. She summoned whatever energy she had left in her body, her limbs barely responding, still twitching from the electricity. She stared into the man's eyes, gauging his reaction. He was angry. And it was obvious that when one is angry, it is easier to take advantage of them. She drew her head back, slamming it against his lips in one swift motion. Her forehead hurt from being hit against his teeth, but that was nothing. She had to free herself. This was her last chance.

The man reared back, hand moving to soothe his busted lip, as he howled in pain. y/n stomped on his foot, causing him to double over and fall to the floor. He groaned in pain, his eyes watering. y/n struggled with the ties around her hands, the tight bindings cutting at her wrists. She scrunched her eyes shut and pulled, biting her lip in response to the pain, praying this would work. She forced herself to summon all the energy she had remaining, tugging at the rope until she finally loosened the knots, pulling her right hand out. She shot up, her back to the writhing man as she attempted to free her left wrist. A rookie mistake. Before she had freed herself from the binds and rejoiced her newfound freedom, the man held a needle in her neck, gently pressing the nozzle and introducing some strange chemical in her bloodstream. y/n elbowed the man in his ribs, pushing him away before pulling the syringe out of her neck. The man had emptied out the whole thing in her. This meant she had to be faster in escaping if she wanted to succeed before whatever happened to her. She willed her legs to move towards the door, her body stumbling towards it, her arms waving in front of her like a little baby taking its first steps. She fell to her knees, her vision blurring from the impact. She forced herself to get up, but her body simply slumped to the ground, paying no heed to her commands. What was in that syringe? She wiggled on the ground, trying to make sense of what was happening to her. Her mind was clear, as focused as ever from all the adrenaline. But she couldn't feel anything. Not her legs, her arms, or even her face. She tried bringing her palms to her face, but in vain. it was like her brain had disconnected from her body.

The man appeared in the periphery of her vision, a huge smirk on his face. "Having a little trouble there?" he screeched, laughing.

"It's amazing how the most basic of 'medicines' can be used with such versatility," he said, bending over to pick the syringe. He looked at y/n, sprawled helplessly on the ground, her limbs in weird angles around her. "Succinylcholine," he whispered, never breaking eye contact. Like as if that one word explained everything y/n's mind was asking at the moment. The man took a deep breath before explaining. "A paralytic. Common in surgeries, effective with neutralizing... threats. Such as you." he said, slightly giggling.

y/n gaped at him, still trying to force herself to move. Her plan had failed-- this was it. She would never get to see daylight again, she would never get to do anything she had planned since she was a child, she would never do things she had always wanted to. She would never see Loki again. His soft skin, his pale green eyes, his raven black hair. She would never get to lay in bed with him again, tracing his jawline as they spoke about the most inconspicuous of things, simply soaking in the essence of each other's presence. She would never get to experience the mesmerization she had first experienced when she saw his eyes in the morning light. How the orangish-yellow bands of sunlight streaking in through the gaps in the curtains reflected against his pale green irises, making it look ethereal. Like as if the angels themselves had come down from heaven, with little golden pots of ambrosia; all for him. That was how he was. Ambrosial. She would never get to listen to his heartbeat again, she would never get to see the little smile dance across his lips, she would never get to hear him confess his love for her ever again. And although at that moment, she could feel nothing, it was as if her mind had created an illusion of a sharp pain in her chest-- because that felt very, very real. It wasn't like being stabbed by a knife or a dagger, but almost like it was a long sharp icicle being driven straight into her heart. An uncomfortable pain that one couldn't exactly feel physically, but could very much feel the essence of. It churned in her heart, ripping whatever resolve kept her together so far. So so cold, yet so hot. That was what made it uncomfortable. As the icicle twisted in her heart, she could swear the pain was real, but anyone with a brain would know that it wasn't. Perhaps it was that fact that made it harder for the mechanical part of the brain to understand the fact that the body wasn't in fact, actually injured.

A sharp tapping at her cheek brought her back to the present. Oh, how she wished she could tell Loki how much she loved him, just one last time. Just one last time, kiss his soft, soft lips, run her fingers through his hair--

"Phase 2," the blonde man whispered, his face only a few inches away from hers. y/n felt her toes and fingers twitch; the paralytic was wearing off. She craned her neck as much as she could and suddenly noticed that she wasn't on the floor anymore. She had been so carried away with her thoughts that she didn't feel herself being chained, and lifted up into mid-air. Her body slung heavily, her wrists shacked to the ceiling. A little while longer and she would probably end up displacing her shoulders. Her toes skimmed the floor, barely touching. She forced herself to stretch--try and touch the floor--only to fail miserably. She shook her head lightly, her skin tingling as the paralytic faded. Her mind was empty, void of any thoughts. She simply wished this would end faster. She would rather die than give up on such crucial information.

"Are you not going to say anything?" the man teased, waiting on a response. y/n stayed quiet, her eyes focused on the floor, head hanging low. "Say something, miss y/l/n. For old times' sake. I need a memory of you, do I not?" The man continued, his lips widening into a grin. Y/n's muscles spasmed, she wished she could fight the guy. But oh, how tired she was. She just wanted a long rest. "What are you going to do to me?" she managed finally, her voice tiny, devoid of any hope.

"This," the man breathed, clicking a button, and that was when all hell broke loose. y/n's back arched in pain, pain everywhere-- her arms her ribs her muscles her gut and it hurt it hurt--

and it all suddenly stopped. She gasped, breathless, her shoulders aching from hanging for so long. How long had she felt that? It was nothing like she had experienced before. Usually, pain had a source. But what she had just felt? Extravagant, in a bad way. It just clawed at her chest, disabling her from doing anything, except screaming her lungs out. She tried to even her breathing for the umpteenth time, her body begging to give out. Her neurons fired like never before, stimulating every fiber to life. Every part of her hurt, and she could do absolutely nothing about it. Her limbs shook with the aftershocks; her head so light, as if she would pass out anytime now. She looked around for the blonde man, her vision blurry. She felt drops of sweat trickle down the side of her head, pooling in the hollow of her neck. She groaned as the man gripped her face, his fingers gripping her cheeks almost bruisingly.

"Would you like to answer my questions now? Or would you like to feel this more?" he asked, his tone spewing venom. She groaned again, shutting her eyes. Kill me. Just rid me of all this misery.

A few moments of silence, all she could hear was the man's breathing, and her own labored one. "Option two, then." the man said. And before y/n could whine in refusal, he had pressed the button. This time, she felt it seep into her nerve endings, the waves stimulating the pain through her channels. They pushed and pulled, scrunched and released, her gut tightening around itself. She writhed in agony, her heart beating out of her chest. Her limbs went cold, her head spinning, her eyes seeing a coruscating array of colors, the man's silhouette now a shapeless shadow. She screamed soundlessly as tears streamed down her cheeks, her teeth drawing blood from the inside of her cheek. Her fingers twitched as she pulled at the chains, her toes still trying to reach the ground. And suddenly, it stopped entirely, leaving just zero traces in her body. She quaked, her body trembling as she slumped to the ground, her shoulders aching. Before she could inhale, it started again, stronger than ever, and this time, she couldn't even scream. She just lay there, her forehead covered in sweat, her eyes seeing the most beautiful series of colors all in different patterns. But before she could focus on one, they would move away, frustrating her. Her head throbbed. She thought she heard a distinct boom, but she was too delirious to even bring her attention to it. Maybe she had just imagined it. The colors flowed in waves, like a fast-moving river. She saw reds, blues and greens, all different shades, all so beautiful. She thought she saw a familiar pale green, like jade, but before she could focus on it, it was gone. She blinked, scrunching her eyes. So this was it. Her heart beat steadily in her chest, her lungs inhaling and exhaling, her mind empty. There is peace in death. There is terror only in fear of death. She felt the calmest she had ever felt in her whole life, the pain fading into the background as her eyes drooped, lulling her towards eternal sleep.

Suddenly, someone was shaking her shoulders, eliciting a lazy groan from her. Was she dead? Is this heaven?

"Love, wake up." Was that Loki? She heard his smooth deep voice reverberate in her skull. Maybe she was in heaven. Or maybe she was experiencing last-minute weird moments before she died. Who knew how the dying thing worked, right? Maybe her brain was recollecting her favorite moments, sounds, et cetera. "My love," she heard again. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. She replayed the sweet baritone voice in her head again. She wished she could actually hear it, just one last time. Something shook her again, her shoulders hurting from the movement. Wait, wasn't she supposed to be hanging from the ceiling? Was she on the floor? She hummed lightly, stirring. She felt her palms graze the cold floor. She cracked her eyes open lightly, the array of colors still visible in the periphery. Her breathing stuttered as she took in the person before her. It wasn't a something that was shaking her. It was a someone. And not just anyone. It was him. Loki. Little drops of tears streamed down his cheeks, his hair entirely tousled. His eyes looked tired, the green irises paler than ever-- almost translucent. Did he even sleep the past few days? He looked frazzled, his entire form expressing fear. His slender fingers cradled y/n's head, his mouth moving fast, uttering words she couldn't understand.

"Y/n," he said, breathing a sigh of relief, his heart suddenly relaxing like as if someone had it in a chokehold for the past few days. He rejoiced, quickly bending over to kiss her softly. "My dear," he said, his whisper coated with the deepest kind of gratitude. He was exhausted, his body shook from the overutilization of his seidr. But he would do anything to save his y/n. He shivered on remembering how she was so close to fading, leaving him forever. He had summoned the most amount of magic he had ever done before, channeling such energy he didn't know he was capable of. He barely knew what he was doing, his mind entirely controlled by all the pent-up rage that had found its release on seeing what the blonde man was doing to y/n. He shuddered, stopping his mind from wondering what would have happened if Loki hadn't gotten there on time. He remembered how he had taken out the man in a mere few seconds. He promised himself to deal with him later.

"Loki," she whispered, her hand reaching out to cup his cheek. She had to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Her eyes widened when her hand made contact with his soft skin. "It's all over now, love. You are safe. I am sorry I took so long to find you," he whispered, the remorse evident in his voice. He sighed, his thumbs tracing little circles on her cheek. She smiled lightly, her heart suddenly thrumming at the warmth she felt on her fingers. He was here. She wasn't dreaming. She shushed him, her fingers on his lips. Her own careless mistake, and here he was, apologizing. "I'm so tired," she whispered, her eyes drooping, threatening to close.

"I know, darling. You will be better soon," he promised, kissing her knuckles. "I... i thought I lost you," he confessed, his eyes threatening to spill tears again. y/n ran her thumb across his cheekbone, her eyes barely open. Her mind begged for sleep, every fiber in her body exhausted. "Never again, y/n. Promise me," he asked suddenly, his voice shaking. He couldn't go through something like this again. He wouldn't let anything happen to her, never again. Not as long as he was alive.

"Never again. Let's get out of this hellhole," she whispered back, her voice barely audible. She wondered if he heard her. She felt him lift her into his arms, tucking her head under his neck. She smiled absent-mindedly, her eyes finally heeding the lull of sleep. She felt Loki's lips brush at her forehead, placing a soft kiss, and that's when she knew she was going to be okay, no matter what.

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wrenhyperfixates · 2 years

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okay. so my batch is in 2 different classes, okay? so thats 40 kids in one room and 40 in the other. but most kids havent been coming offline yet so its around 20 kids in each room. so thankfully im in the section where theres non-dramatic career driven kids so i dont have to deal w this shit. HOWEVER my friend group consists of 6 people including me, where 3 are in the other class. so those 3 tell me and the other 2 (who r in my class) everything. so as of yesterday, ive got 3 star couples to talk about.

A.) so lets call this guy M. so M is this real tall dude, about 6'2, tallest in my class. taller than an average indian. he's bony though. doesnt eat nothing. starves himself for those "abs". he has fluffy hair but im sure its dry asf. to give u a glimpse of how cringey he is, before i moved to this school, he used to date my friend S back in 10th grade. (shes part of my friend group, shes in my class atm. S calls herself stupid for ever dating him, we agree. we also hate him). so S is also pretty skinny, and shes like 5'2. his ideal type. so he once told her that "he would totally be qualified for a model because hes got the Looks™." but hes actually a malnourished (being malnourished is kind of a thing here, apparently thats what most girls and guys dig, as of ive heard) little twig i could probably snap with one hand. so M is like still hung over S, yeah? we now have another girl O. she looks JUST like S. except shes weirdly skinny. like abnormally. (not body shaming people here but i need people to understand that starving themselves is not healthy and it shouldnt be a 'statement maker'.) so, M and O date now, theyre always holding hands in class, and apparently one of their spotify playlist covers is a picture of them kissing ? cringe. cringe cringE CRINGE. now this girl O, used to date this boy T, who is a dick. T is stupid, mean, a Man™, and weirdly obsessed with being able to relate with females. call him a pick me boy if you will, because that's what he is. i used to know T, in 2020, all the members of my class made an Instagram group and apparently he had asked a bunch of girls out on "swim dates" which is really creepy. his trademark line is "I'm a nice guy." I guess that one line sums him up. so last year, T and M were bffs. T promised M that he'd someone get M and S back together. (S was so scared. she was legit worried T might go out of the way and mess her life up.) but then when M and O started dating, WELL. BFF-NESS GONE, GF-BF-NESS HELLO. anyways that's our first star couple. also, M is shit homophobic 🤪🤪

B.) so now we have V. i used to talk to him because we shared a common interest in basketball, and my other friend from my previous school and he liked the same girl a few years ago (even longer story). this boy used to date this SUPER cringey pick me girl R. she was so cringe. but now shes okay. ig some common sense was instilled. but an insight of how cringe she was~ she had his IG username on her bio. with a " ❤️🌍🔒🗝️" next to it. bye I'm literally getting goosebumps from all the cringe SO. they break up because he finally realizes how cringe R was I think? anyways I've heard it was messy asf. so now V is dating this girl H. did I mention V is shit short? he's like 5'6. so his current girlfriend is kinda pretty, but overhyped. shes very fair, has light brown hair (standard indian hair is dark brown or black. her's is lighter which makes her stand out (?)). so remember my friend S? S and H used to be bffs. but H was *barf emoji*. so they don't talk anymore. anyways I think its been a few months since V and H started dating, I saw them looking at each other like pissy drunk butterflies yesterday. V was all "omg look I play basketball like yeah dummy I do too but I don't show that shit off but no. understandable. he wants to seduce his gf or whatever u go boy. but why are they cringe you ask? because when me and S asked H a confirmation on if H and V were dating, she said "well, its complicated. we ... don't do things." LIKE WHAT HELLO YOURE 17 YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THINGS IF YOU DONT WANT TO so then me and S are just standing there and nodding like mhm. yea. understandable girl. u go. then H still rambles off, telling us that (these are her exact words) "hE iS mY hALf bOyfRiEnD" LIKE ME AND S LOST IT THERE. there's a really cringey romance book called "half girlfriend" by an author called chetan baghat. it was really overhyped when we were like 13 or 14, so to use that dreaded phrase "half bf/gf" well.. u just ruined ur social quo. anyways that's star couple 2 for you. C.) here we have the last one !!! hurrah !!! now I don't know either of these people personally so its pretty less. so this boy, (he is also shorter than me. my excuse to people in this school asking me why I do not date is "I am tall. i cannot see most of the boys." I know its a lame excuse but I am not dating here. nuh uh.) lets call him P. so P and M (from the first story) are currently BFFFFFFFF's. i guess its goodbye T. poor guy. (not). so P is just.. abnormally loud. like he's also a Man™. i guess he likes to 'assert his dominance with his voice' or whatever. so P currently dates this girl J. now J, is an overwoke, hyper desi idiot. like its good to be desi, a lot of people (including 14 year old me) are/were embarrassed ASF to be desi because hello western culture and the american stereotype. but somehow, when people get past that, they either become like me, one who's into the culture and loves the aesthetic and tries to learn more about culture heritage etc, or they become J. overwoke, partial-research-doing another pick me variant. shes so desi, her IG stories are filled with her dancing, singing, doing Desi™ things. and its stupid. like to be desi and express it is one thing, but to run into people and scream in their face "OYYY IM DESI WHY ARENT YOU START BEING MORE INDIAN DARLING" is another. that's J for you. i don't know much about P, but the fact that he's besties with M kinda sums up the cringe factor.

there you go. if u've died from the cringe, I need a funeral invite 💕💕

Bestie school started right before I could answer this this morning 😭😭😭😭 but omg very cringey. Sounds like the kind of drama my school had in literally the 6th grade. So what does that say about these people. I’m glad you get to observe without being involved tho. That’s when drama is the best 👌

#you’re not involved because you’re superior 👌😌#ask #my bestie #friends #mutuals #lostgreekgod

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spitefulqueenofdemons · 3 years

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PT 1

Pushing Up Daisies chapter 2 the lake

Summary: After having been brutally murdered by Blaine Debeers while investigating the Utopium trade you awoke six feet under. More like 60 feet under water.

TW: drowning, murder, language maybe, Gore

Word count: 1539

It was strange not having to breath in order to retain consciousness. The overwhelming cold of the lake water filled all your senses, you could barely blink past the murkey green of the water. There wasnt a hope of breathing in anything that wasnt liquid. You expected it to hurt. Pressure in your head or your lungs burning for oxygen. Other than the cold and crushing pressure this was almost peaceful.

It took you a moment to be able to realize you were even under water, and judging by the very faint light above it seemed that you were in deep. The longer you were aware the more you were able to regain your senses. You could barely see little fish swimming around you, probably having been trying to get a meal off your flesh.

There was a heavy weight on your legs and when you looked down you saw why. Your legs were tied together and at the end of them a rather large concrete block.

The pieces were falling together. Someone tried to kill you and dump the body in the lake. Before waking up in the water you couldnt remember much. White hair, red eyes. Gunshots.

Your hands moved against the water to your stomach to find no pain. There were holes. Tiny holes almost completely healed. Concerning of course but not nearly as concerning as the fact that you have been awake underwater for several minutes without any pain, any drawback. You felt almost nothing. Minus the cold and a growing sense of hunger.

'Gotta get out of this.' You thought almost lazily to yourself. You bent over, your moves sluggish in the water, and began unknotting the ties that were holding you down.

The moment your legs were free you kicked against the silt covered ground and shot towards the faint sun. When you broke the surface you tried to take a breath but you couldnt. Something in your lungs were blocking and it forced you into an uncontrollable coughing fit that forced what seemed like gallons of water from your lungs.

Once you were finally able to catch your breath you looked around, blinking the water from your eyes you could see shore in the distance. Even further the Space Needle. You were at lake Winters.

You swam to shore, the gnawing hunger growing with every moment that passed. While underwater it was easy to ignore but now it was almost overwhelming. Before too long you could feel the silt and mud under your feet and you were able to walk out of the lake. Dripping wet, cold and starving but you were walking none the less.

"Ma'am. Are you alright?" You could hear a voice in the distance. They had a soft timber. Warm and seemingly from a southern state. Likely a tourist.

You turned, barely able to make out the mans features. He wore a hat. Maybe green or a greenish brown. He had a greying beard that hid most of his facial features. He wore some sort of flannel under a fishing jacket.

You didnt care about what he looked like. Or that he smelled even more like fish than you. You just wanted to take off his hat and bash his skull until the juicy pink bits came out and thats what you did.

"I'm so hungry." You groaned as you stumbled forward. The man who had quickly closed the distance caught you in his arms as you fell forward, only the moment knocked him off his balance and he fell with you in his arms to the ground.

There was a grunt, this time from him, and you could smell the metallic scent from his head before the red leaked out and pooled around his head. Without skipping a beat you pulled him up by his shoulders and slammed him back down.

There was no screams. No begging for mercy. The only sound was the sickening crunch of skull against the ground and a slight slosh of brain matter leaking out.

Once the hole in the poor fella's head was large enough you dipped your fingers in and plucked out any and all solid you could find, plopping each piece of it in your mouth.

It wasnt what you call good. In fact the bitter metallic tell tale taste organ meat always left in your mouth had been enough to make you swear off organs in your youth but the satisfying way it satiated that growing hunger that moments ago was so overwhelming was enough to make it your new favorite flavor.

You ate until there was nothing left, and once you were finished you sat in beside the corpse of the poor fisherman. You had gone your entire career without ever killing anyone. The first person you ever have killed is this innocent man. It hurt. You felt horrible but you couldnt control it. Nobody saw. There was no witness, no evidence. He didnt deserve this. His family in whatever state he was from didnt deserve it. But there was nothing you could do to change the fact you killed him. But you could still protect yourself.

After your pity party you stood again, finding your senses much sharper and your balance back. You could think again and you remembered everything from before you woke up. Blaine Debeers scratched you, shot you, then tied you to center blocks and dumped you in the lake.

It was easy physically filling the fisherman's vest with rocks and dirty to weigh him down but emotionally it was one of the hardest things you had ever done. But you did it anyway and swam the body far enough that rouge swimmers wouldnt find it easily. Once it was safely at the bottom of the lake you decided to go home to figure out what to do next.

The small apartment in downtown Seattle wasnt the ideal home but it was your home nonetheless. You only used it to sleep, spending most of your time working. You were for lack of a better word, a workaholic. You only felt truly at home when on the job.

The apartment was plain, almost as plain as Blaine's office. A single keyring by the door beside an empty coat rack. There was a simple ugly plaid three person couch and a matching arm chair. Something you picked up from a thrift store when you realized you couldnt just have a lawn chair as your home decor. There was no tv. No radio. The only potential entertainment a person could get was from the bookshelf that was full of criminal law books and files from previous cases you had worked.

The kitchen was a little more luxurious with new matching silver appliances, a well loved kureg coffee machine, a shiny new microwave and your favorite, the air frier.

When you got to the door you found that someone had been here already. The wood was splintered around the deadbolt. There was a dent in the middle of the door, a sure sign that it had been kicked in.

Your hand instinctively went to where you normally kept your gun but of course there was nothing there. You were a murder victim. Usually the killer wont leave weapons on his victims bodies. Instead you pushed open the door and walked into the near empty apartment.

There was definitely a break in and whoever did it was looking for something. Almost everything was where you left if but the contents of your bookshelf were all over the room almost like a welcome homs confetti. And not among the papers was all the information you had collected on Blaine Debeers.

Once you figured out what was missing, which didnt take long at all, you remembered the events which led you to this discovery. Specifically the mixture of lake water and old blood, some yours some fishermans, that coated your body. You wanted, more than anything, a shower.

The bathroom was untouched, as you were sure the bed room was at well. You hadnt thought to hide your research. You were sure the first and only place they looked was the bookshelf and that was where you kept it so after you put yourself back together you would have to clean up but it would be the only thing you had to clean.

The bathroom, like the rest of the apartment, was plain. No little knick nacks. The soap dispenser was mint green with no designs or embellishes. The toothbrush holder the same with only one toothbrush even though it could hold four. There was a towel rack with one, also mint colored, towel on it.

You walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light before gasping at the shocking image in the mirror. It was you but not the you that you remembered.

Your hair which had been (y/h/c) since you were born was snowy white. Lighter than Blaines but almost the same. Your skin had lost all pigment, leaving you looking almost ghostly. No blush. No color. And your eyes were now a light blue with purple shadowing that left you looking like you hadnt slept in weeks. The term zombie came to mind.

#fanfic #izombie #blaine x reader #blaine debeers #blaine #readerinsert #romance #fluff #angst #liv moore #peyton charles #ravi chakrabarti #thecwizombie #thecw #zombies

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cbloodmarch · 3 years

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This is my first post, and its a rant post. I hope if anybody sees this they can relate to it and no feel alone, or maybe offer advice.

I just started college. Not only was that a big milestone but I just moved to a new state. Im a girl from a small town (and I mean small, I graduated with 40 people) in California. I moved across the country without looking behind. Goodbye family and goodbye friends. Going to college is overwhelming as it is, but its only welcome week and I've seemed to have cried every day.

I've never felt so alone until now. I wasnt even well liked at my high school and only had one friend, so its not too different here starting with knowing no one. All I wanted growing up was to move from that small town in the middle of the mountains. But now that I have id do anything to go back. Whenever someone brings up where I'm from I almost immediately get thrown into a panic and I just miss it so much and I havent even been here for a week.

Having a roomate isn't helping much. She's from here and im not. She has all her friends that graduated with her, her home is here while mine is in California. Being in an extremely small room with someone else I dont really know makes it all feel worse. She doesn't want to know me, she doesn't want me to know her. It all makes this huge campus seem a lot bigger, like id never see the other side.

I long so much for people to like me. I meet people and hang out with them at events, exchange numbers etc. But they don't feel like friends. These appearant new friends that im making have forgotten about me. I've been left to walk to my dorm at night, to be catcalled on the way when all I want to do is sit down and cry. Everyone already has their group of friends. They came with people they've known since they were kids, they sat next to them at graduation, they've eaten at the same table together. I know no one here. Funny thing though, when I tell people im from California they get real mean after. In my desperation for belonging and a family, people I can love, I decided to rush for a sorority. Its a very weird thing to do, especially for me. I'm the stereotypical goth girl trying to be in something thats so stereotypical of the opposite of me. I think I've been doing well. The girls are nice so far, but I haven't clicked with anyone. When looking at the houses on greek row im the only one not talking with someone.

I'm scared, im confused, and im alone.

I tried telling someone this, putting it lighter and saying I was homesick but they just put it off as stupid. Im a little more than homesick. My experience so far has only led me to question why im here. Should I have stayed in california? Should I have gone to UCLA or USC? I got into both but I just fell in love with this campus I couldn't just walk away from it. Am I being overdramatic? Should I not pursue to dream career? It's all getting so much harder to cope.

I just want to go home, but I can't. I am stuck here in a state that is so different from my own. In a state that holds none of my family, none of my friends, nor does it hold the pets I grew up with who ha e gone through everything with me.

I stare out into the blackening sky knowing that my dad, my grandma, or anyone else I know is also under it. I really hope it gets better from here, cause I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my time here

To anyone that may read this, im sorry its all over the place I'm writing this at night while in a mood :/

#rant #college #i feel lonely #i fucking hate it here

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tiniest-typewriter · 4 years

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you’re my number one *:・ﾟ✧

characters: Mario/Luigi

summary: Mario has a day off and spends it with his beloved brother, who makes a shocking discovery

its been quite some time since the older one of the Mario bros had a day off. there was always something the plumber needed to be ready for.

princess peach getting kidnapped? the Toads being threatened by Goombas? Bowser being up to his usual shenanigans? you never know!

but today, he was finally free to kick back and spend some quality time with his beloved brother Luigi.

speaking of, he was just heading for the living room, but got involuntarily slobbered on by polterpup on his way there. he chuckled and pet the loyal pup before heading to join his brother on the couch.

“so uh..“ he began “finally a day off, huh?“

Mario chuckled and stretched his arms. “yes! the kingdom is safe and I can-“ he interrupted himself with a pained yipe “mama mia!!“ and quickly lowered his arms again.

“ma-ma-ma-mario?! whats wrong?!“ luigi asked, full of concern. but his older bro shook his head “nothing! nothing! I´m fine!“ polterpup whined and jumped up onto the couch, right next to the hurt plumber. meanwhile luigi began to look more and more worried about his brother. which was something Mario just couldn't bear to see for too long “okay okay!“ mario said eventually. “I may have been hit a bit too hard when I went to save the princess the other day“ he said, trying to make it sound like just a bit of an inconvienience.

“but It´s fine! nothing I havent gone through before! I will be up going on another adventure in no time!“ but just as he was trying to strike a heroic pose for his bro to underline his confidence, the pain struck through his body yet again “ouwowowowouch!!!“ he whined out of pain and habit.

that was it! luigi has heard enough!

“you should go to bed!“ he told his bro. “or take a hot bath or whatever! just anything to help you get well!“

but mario protested “luigi! I don´t need to rest! I am fine! really!“ he said. polterpup whined and poked his nose into mario´s side, making him cry out in pain a third time and making his argument void.

Luigi took mario´s arm and carefully pulled him up to his feet. “you need rest, bro!“ he said. polterpup barked in agreement and followed the two brothers to their bedroom.

---

“come on!“ “no!“

mario and luigi were sitting on the bed, the latter holding a first aid kit and the former pouting like a child.

“come on, brother!“ luigi said. “you need to let me see your injuries so I can treat them!“

mario tried to keep insisting that everything was perfectly fine, but he eventually gave up and sighed in defeat. “okay, okay” he said reluctantly and opened the buttons of his overalls. however, taking off his shirt was more of a struggle. he attempted it, but when he lifted his arms, the pain struck once more, making him stop.

luigi frowned in worry. “you must be really badly hurt.“ he said. “that´s nothing!“ mario insisted and tried again, biting down hard on his lip as he slipped out of the shirt and tossed it aside. “th-there! no problem!“ he said, clearly in a lot of pain.

luigi gasped in shock at what he saw. “M-M-MARIO!!” he shouted. “how could you keep this from me??”

the chubby plumber´s body was covered in painful looking bruises and marks.

this was definitely more than just being ´hit a bit too hard´.

there was a large blue and red mark covering nearly his whole left side and many smaller ones all over the place, along with various scratches and a quite nasty looking scar going from over his chest to his right side.

it looked like bowser threw him around the room like a bouncy ball and then gave him to a chain-chomp as a chew toy.

“how did this happen??“ luigi asked in terror, while mario tried his best to calm him down. “like I said! adventure! the-the princess!! she needed saving!!“ “you can´t safe the princess if you get turned into a pile of mushroom mash first!!“

mario pouted, but knew his bro was right.

luigi opened the first aid kit, but didnt even know what to focus on first. the scar looked pretty bad..but the bruise did too!

he aplied some medicine to a cotton ball and sheepishly looked away. “this might burn a bit” he said and before mario could even say “huh?” he went to work disinfecting the scar.

the pudgy plumber yiped in pain, but quickly pressed a hand to his mouth to silence himself “I know, I know!“ luigi said. “I´m sorry! I´m almost done!“ luigi was entirely focused on treating the nasty wound, so he didnt notice polterpup sneaking around the room, taking steps that were lighter than air. the little doggie eventually walked up to the bed, as he wanted to see what was keeping the two busy for so long.

he gave a small bark.

which ended up spooking luigi so much that he threw himself forward into mario’s arms out of fear.

the poor man was trembling horribly, expecting a ghost or chain chomp attack out of nowhere, but once he finally opened his eyes, he was just greeted by polterpup’s innocent little face as he rolled around, barked some more and then vanished through the wall.

“phew..“ luigi was relieved that there was no danger around, however, now he found himself in a whole different situation.

“oh..OH!!“ luigi quickly backed away from his half naked brother, his entire face bright pink from embarrasment. he chuckled nervously and looked away. “I-I’m so sorry mario!“ he said. “I was just- I didn’t mean to- I thought-“ but whatever he was about to say got replaced by another worry. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?“

mario, still a bit confused by how quickly all of that transpired, shook his head. “n-no, I’m fine“ he said. “how about you? are you alright?“ luigi nodded shyly. “y-y-yes!“ he said. “p-polterpup just surprised me, that’s all..“

he took the bandages from the first aid kit, but as he continued treating mario’s wounds, he couldn’t seem to concentrate..or look up at him for that matter.

he began to focus on small details, like how often his fingers brushed against his brother’s bare skin..or how much his hands were shaking..and how uncomfortably hot his face felt..

was this weird? was he being weird?

all luigi wanted was to treat his brother’s battle wounds, but all of a sudden he felt like he’s crossing a line..

was Mario even taking any note of that? was the anxious plumber just overthinking the situation and making a big deal out of nothing?

all those thoughts tore at poor Luigi and it didnt take long until he suddenly dropped the roll of bandages.

“oh! I-I’m sorry, I’m just a bit distracted..“ Luigi said with a nervous laugh and picked the bandages back up. “distracted by what?“ as Luigi looked up at Mario, he saw such a gentle little smile on the other’s face that it made Luigi smile as well, despite all these conflicting thoughts occupying his mind. “n-nothing“ he said with a chuckle. “just..the usual.“ he shrugged.

he continued his work, taking deep breaths and trying to stop worrying about all this.

which was extremely hard as he felt his brother's eyes on him the whole time.

once he was finally done treating each and every one of Mario's wounds, he smiled proudly and handed his brother his shirt. "okie dokie, all done!" he said with a smile.

"thank you so much, bro!" Mario said happily and put the shirt back on with a bit of a struggle.

he then pulled Luigi into a big hug, leaving the tall plumber with even more conflicting feelings as he looked away ashamedly. "y-you're welcome.." he said. "okay, luigi. what's wrong?" Mario asked, both fists on his hips in a somewhat scolding manner.

"n-nothing!" Luigi insisted, but his brother didn't let him off the hook that easily. "you're acting strange! luigi, I am your brother, if there is something going on with you, you can tell me!"

at that, Mario's stern look got a lot more gentle, almost pleading. which in turn, made Luigi feel a whole lot more guilty than he did already.

"I-I.." he was about to spill the pasta sauce, but he just couldn't talk about it. "I can't tell you this, Mario..I'm sorry.." he looked away. he simply couldn't see that worried and hurt look in his beloved brother's face anymore.

but as much as it pained him to be so secretive to his brother, someone he´s known his whole life and who he knew wouldn´t be upset with luigi even if he did tell him..

..probably..

..maybe..

..hopefully...

no. no no no!

he couldn't tell him about all those things that are on his mind right now. it was too big of a risk!

Luigi swallowed hard in his throat and stood up to leave. "w-well, you need rest, so I better-"

but then, unbeknownst to Luigi, polterpup came jumping through the wall right behind him, accidentally bumping into him and making him stumble, trip and fall. but this time, he would have fallen flat on his face, if it wasn't for the hero of the mushroom kingdom jumping up from the bed to quickly catch him.

so there he was again. in his brother's arms once more. this time he was not half naked, granted, but luigi's face was flushing up nonetheless.

"are you okay, little brother?" Mario asked, a bright smile on his face as he held his brother in his arms as if he was lighter than a feather. Luigi found himself entranced and couldn't help but be amazed by Mario's strengh. after all, Luigi had just finished patching up his wounds and here he was lifting him up like it's nothing.

Guess a true hero never rests, huh?

that thought made Luigi smile. it made all so much sense now..

thinking back, Luigi would always make sure to stay as close to his broter as possible. because he felt safe by his side, more confident and as if he could take on the whole world with his brother.

he admired him..

he loved him..

..maybe..more than he initially thought..

Mario may have over time become the hero of the mushroom kingdom, but to Luigi, he was always a hero..his hero..

and in his dazed and awestruck state of mind, Luigi did something truly outrageous.

he grabbed Mario by the collar of his shirt and went for a kiss right on his brother's lips. it lasted quite a while actually, before Luigi's mind caught up with what on earth he was doing that is.

the realisation came like a speeding bullet bill and his entire body jerked in shock, making him slip out of Mario's arms.

interestingly enough, that seemed to concern Mario much more than what happened prior.

"Luigi!!" he called out and helped him back to his feet. "are you hurt? I didn't mean to let you fall!"

"ma-ma-ma-mario!! I-I can explain!!" Luigi cried immediately, already backing away as there was nothing he would rather do in this moment than to flee.

"I was just-!! I wasnt trying to-!!"

"Luigi!"

"it won't ever, ever happen again, mario! I'm so so sorry!!"

"Luigi!!"

"I can't believe I did that!! you must be furious!! you must hate me!! you-"

but luigi got cut off by a rather soft pair of lips pressing against his and he could feel all of his anxious thoughts melt away as he was pulled into a hug on top of that.

it felt so warm and comforting..

as it ended, there was only one question left on Luigi's mind.

"does..does that mean..you..?"

his face got red and he was glad that he didn't need to finish that question, as Mario was already nodding.

"y-you.." Luigi gulped as he could feel himself nearly tearing up. "you're the best~" he said happily.

Mario nuzzled his cheek, chuckling. "you're the best~" he said.

#super mario #super mario bros #the super mario bros #mario #luigi #mario and luigi #mariocest #mario x luigi #fanfic #fanfiction #anti anti #pro shipping #anti anti shipping

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im-lad-ris · 4 years

Text

The Fall: Haldir X Female! Reader

Prompt: "I’m so happy you’re back!! 😌❤️ I missed you tbh haha. Could you do a Haldir x reader? Maybe where reader is from our world? 👀"

Submitted by: Anonymous

Words: 1626

A/N: Hey guys! First story posted since the end of my hiatus, and it's for my main mans Haldir. For the anon, I wasnt sure how old you wanted to reader to be, but I took some creative liberty! I also havent edited yet but will go through it and do so soon.

--------------

The day you had fallen into Middle Earth you had been a mere child, only ten in human years, unaware of the dangers of the new world you now found yourself living in.

You only remembered falling, and hitting the ground so hard your skull rattled and your teeth gnashed together. Your ears were ringing, and when you had gone to cover them you had realized that they were pointed, which was definitely not how they were shaped yesterday. You had panicked, screamed, cried for your parents, but you would realize that they were not coming for you here, wherever the "here" was.

You would be found within 3 days, having wandered through forests and over plains, by a group of elven rangers.

The leader had dismounted his horse and had kneeled next to you, offering you kind words and compassion. He introduced himself as Lord Elrond, an elf lord who looked over a place called Imladris.

He had asked you why an elven child was wandering the wilderness. When you admitted that you didnt know where you were, and argued that you weren't an elf, Elrond wasnt sure what to make of you.

After this first encounter, you would be invited to stay at Lord Elronds home. It was beautiful, and you were stunned that such a place could have possibly existed.

After several weeks had passed, Elrond would take you to a place called Lothlórien. The sky was blocked out by canopies, and the trees sprawled into the sky above you, a forest of skyscrapers.

You would meet a woman named Galadriel and a wizard named Gandalf, although everyone called him Mithrandir instead. After hours of discussion, it was decided that you were not of Middle-Earth and that you would be placed under Elronds care. Despite this, nobody was quite sure why you were an elf or how you had fallen, but it appeared you were here to stay.

It was in Lothlorien that you met Haldir. He was older than you, but he had an aura about him that drew you to him. You became fast friends, and you began to harbor a small crush towards him. Before you left for Imladris once more, he had smiled and gifted you your first bow.

After returning home with your now adoptive father Elrond, Haldir and you continued to exchange letters and gifts, all the while you grew up under your new siblings. You loved Arwen, and the twins, Elrohir and Elladan, and they made sure you grew up as happy as you could be.

Besides this, you eventually realized that time for elves was strange. Although you had now spent almost a millennium and a half with you new family, you barely looked a day over twenty. Throughout your time with your adoptive father and siblings, you took pride in learning archery and sword fighting, although you yearned to return to Earth, and your birth parents, once more. However, as you aged you learned to appreciate the family you now had, and the skills and lessons they had taught to you.

Of course, your letters with Haldir had never stopped. He was your pen pal and confidant, and although the years had turned him stoic and somewhat harsh, he was still the man you remembered when you were little. After a millennium of letters you had finally gotten the nerve to tell him your true feelings for him, that you loved him more than than the sun loves the moon.

After a month of no returned letter, you became melancholic, embarrassed that you had even said anything in the first place. However, the next day Haldir had appeared at the gates of Imladris. When he found you in the gardens, he had simply caressed your cheek and vowed he would protect you even if it cost his life. Thus began your courtship. One that spanned between hundreds of miles and still meant everything. Your father had approved almost immediately, and was more than willing to create opportunities for you two to see each other.

-----

You were currently sat in the Council of Elrond and were on the verge of ripping someones head off. These buffoons would not stop arguing, and it was making you angrier by the second. Did they not see that the longer they sat here and hurled insults, the more danger Middle-Earth would be in?

"I will take it" a small voice said. Your head snapped up and looked upon the hobbit, Frodo, who had brought that accursed ring here. Frodo tried to speak out once more, but the noise from the others did not die down and you gritted your teeth before standing up.

"QUIET!" you yelled into the crowd, which surprisingly cause the group of arguing council members to all shut their mouths. You gestured to Frodo, who proceeded to walk towards the group.

"I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though-- I do not know the way." The hobbit said, his eyes passing over every face in the room.

Mithrandir smiled before he passed behind Frodo, "l will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, so long as it is yours to bear."

"Ada.." You started as you glanced behind you towards your father, who simply nodded, his way of telling you he approved. You nodded back at him, a smile on your face, before you turned back to face Frodo.

"As will I, Frodo" you said as you walked behind him, placing your hand on his shoulder.

After you stepped forward, the heir of Gondor, Aragorn, the woodland prince Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, and three other hobbits, who appeared out of bushes, all joined your group.

"Ten companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!" Your father proclaimed as you all stood together, you looked at those around you and had the distinct feeling only some would make it out of this adventure alive.

-----

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs! We must reach the Woods of Lothlórien. Come Y/N, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up." Aragorns voice caused you to jump before you scrambled to lift Merry and Pippin off the floor.

Mithrandir had fallen to a Balrog, but you had no time to mourn. You felt as if water was in your lungs, but you had no time to empty them, you had to move.

By the time the Fellowship reached the outskirts of Lothlórien, you could breathe again but the gloom you felt would not dissipate. You heard Gimli mentioning something about a sorceress, but you couldnt bring yourself to chuckle at his reference to Galadriel. However, you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, and decided to silently move to the back of the group, your hand slowly moving to the hilt of your blade.

"Well, here is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!" Gimli said, prideful as always, before a notched arrow appeared in front on his face. You barely resisted the urge to chuckle.

"The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark." A voice said, and you couldnt help the way your breath hitched. Of course Haldir was patrolling, he was the Marchwarden.

How long had it been since you had held him? How long since you had last heard his voice? Surely not long, but it felt like it had been a lifetime. You couldnt resist the urge to walk forwards him, stepping around Aragorn towards a grumpy looking Gimli. You placed your fingers upon Haldirs arrow, pushing it towards the ground before you dared to meet his eyes.

"I would appreciate if you did not shoot the dwarf, Haldir o Lórien... Meleth nin" your hand came up to caress his cheek as you pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear. Without warning, you found yourself pulled into a kiss. You recovered from the shock and smiled against his lips, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck.

When you finally pulled away, your heart felt lighter and your lips were still tingly. You smiled you again before you embraced Haldir in a hug, your face buried in the crook of his neck.

"What just happened?" You heard Pippin ask, and you chuckled as you pulled away from Haldir, turning to face the Fellowship as you intertwined your fingers with his.

"Meet my betrothed, the Marchwarden of Lothlórien, Haldir" you chimed in, a smile on your face.

"You have interesting traveling companions, meleth nin" Haldir said, his hand squeezing yours as he looked over the ragtag group you had been traveling with.

"Haldir, as much as I'd love to stay here and enjoy this moment, we must see Galadriel... we have.. we lost Gandalf, but we must push on" you said, your voice almost cracking as you recounted what had happened in the mines for your betrothed. You held back the tears that threatened to leak from your eyes, you had to be strong.

When you were finished with your tale, Haldir nodded before he spoke, "Follow me"

As the group moved through the trees further into Lothlórien, Haldir squeezed your hand once more before leaning to whisper in your ear, "Galadriel has agreed to see us married before you continue... you know how much I love you, and even as you go on this journey, I want you to be mine, now and always."

You smiled and nodded at him. Although you were sad at the loss of Gandalf, you loved Haldir, and you would gladly marry him no matter the circumstances. He was yours, and you were his, and soon you would belong to each other for the rest of your days.

-----

Ada - Father

Meleth Nin (Or Nin Meleth) - My love

Haldir o Lórien - Haldir of Lòrien

#lotr #haldir #lord of the rings #lotr imagine #imagines #haldir imagine #haldir x reader #the fellowship of the ring #female reader

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smileytiger28 · 3 years

Text

memory loss ficlist

sup i have loved memory loss stories since i was a wee child and now that ao3 exists i can just read them all day instead of doing work anyway here’s some of my favorites (list definitely subject to change)

s*pernatural

no place to go (4685 words) by peterspajamas

Summary:

It's Tuesday. Again.

Sam watches his world fall apart, into a pattern that only Castiel can break. But Castiel doesn't remember.

Sam prays for help after his brother is stuck in a time loop after Jack becomes God. There are two important things about the angel that arrives to help them: 1. It's Castiel 2. He doesn't remember a thing

my thots

mostly a tuesday time-loop type fic (sam!), but there is definitely some memory loss going on (cas!)

Gone (51108 words) by reading (reposted from ff.net)

Summary:

Dean thinks Sam is dead. Sam has amnesia.

So, this is set pre-deal, sometime in season 2. Strangers and Angels 'verse.

my notes

this fic is legendary. so good in every way. hurt-comfort, memory loss (sam!), angst both before and after memories are regained...hits all my buttons.

When Memory Fails (3646 words) by palpablenotion

Summary:

He's in a hotel room with fake IDs, fake (or stolen) credit cards, guns and knives, lighter fluid and a lighter that's been in a fire hot enough to scorch metal, and he doesn't know who he is.

my thoughts

actually found this fic when looking for some other fics for this list...turned out really good. dean's memory gets roblox oofed and the situation gets cleaned up in a short, sweet, and funny way.

Yellow highway lines (28292 words) by livinginthequestion

Summary:

Weeks had gone by since Michael reneged on his pledge and took possession of Dean permanently; since he’d begun waging his war against humanity and the earth, killing without remorse or restriction; since Dean had, through sheer strength of will, slammed the door on the archangel in his mind. He was still holding that door shut, but growing ever more desperate, to the point that he seriously considered the Ma’lak Box as the only solution available to him.

What if Cas did some research - and came up with an alternative to the Ma’lak Box, a ritual to eject Michael from Dean’s mind? Spellwork so powerful it ripped the archangel loose with the force of a heavenly cataclysm, destroying him in the process - and leaving behind terrible consequences for Dean?

Follow Cas and Sam's desperate cross-country search for Dean, and Dean's journey to find himself, his memories - and maybe find out what he really wants.

my thoughts

goodness me is this one really good. it kinda parallels Gone in that whole "winchester brother makes new life using his skills without his memory" vibe but this plays out a bit differently. this fic. i just want to bathe in it like a jacuzzi.

mcu

How Could I Forget You? (3013 words) by inkinmyheartandonthepage

Summary:

Tony knows that this kid is important somehow, knows deep in his heart that the kid is special. He just can’t remember who he is.

my thoughts

tony loses his memory from some good ol' head trauma. irondad and spiderson angst ensues. memory is not restored by the end (but it is implied that tony's memory will return a few days after the fic is set.)

Take Control (13966 words) by theunremarkable

Summary:

You are No One

I am Bucky. I know this You are Bucky He knows this

But Bucky does not know, that it has been a year. He does not know that it has been a year of the same conversation. He does not know that it has been a year of the same tears from Peggy. He does not know that when he sleeps, he forgets. Bucky does not know that when he wakes, he will again be No One.

my thoughts

one of those great fics that toes the line between poetry and prose. also a songfic ("take control" by kodaline), and the song is really darn good. keep in mind this is part 2 of a series that canon diverges so the timeline is a bit wonky.

Act of Sage (64315 words) by hotelmichelle

Summary:

After the Battle of New York, Steve finds a strange note in his apartment. It’s his handwriting, but he sure as hell would’ve remembered writing this.

my thoughts

this post-endgame-2012-timeline stucky fix-it is a textbook example of what happens when a fic starts out not as strong, but finds its voice and approaches its issues uniquely. the beginning isn't really my taste buuuuut at a certain point the fic definitely takes its own unique spin on things. and it's. so good. there's an oc who's a trauma therapist who works with an amnesiac/traumatized bucky barnes. she's just. the greatest, most intelligent, awesomest, most badass human being. also there's a lot of law terminology for bucky's legal trial. (i think the author was in law school while writing this?)

trials and tribulations of the universes saviour (34287 words) by imeanthatsprettysnazzy

Summary:

The thoughts kept racing through his head, them helping block out the continued, strangled begging coming from Mister Stark, along with the pain, as he stared Thanos right in the eyes.

“And I..” He spoke loudly, though he could still barely hear himself. “Don’t... Care...”

Peter brought his fingers together, and snapped.

An alternate version of Endgame where Peter snaps (but survives).

This is a continuation of The Brother She Wished That She Knew, but it can be read alone if you want :)

(Used to be called When Fate Turns In A Different Direction but that was even cornier than this so I changed it)

my thoughts

the memory loss is like 1 chapter of this but it's really well-executed (and also i'm trying to list as many mcu fics as spn fics and it's surprisingly hard. MUST I REITERATE I HAVENT WATCHED 1 EP OF SPN jaklsdfjflk). what it says on the tin, also part of a series featuring a lot of peter's mom may parker. humor, angst, whump, a badass prosthesis and an awesome found family — this fic has everything you could ever want and more.

Bonus non-MCU marvel fic: If It Comes Back (10823 words) by flightinflame

Summary:

Logan turns his back on the school, setting out as a lone wolf. Until he meets a young man in need of help - a young man who looks painfully familiar.

my thoughts

if you want to leave the "mystery person" a surprise you should probably skip the tags (and the rest of this summary.) basically it's post x3, logan is sad, and picks up a mystery hitchhiker. it's the first (and as of now, only) scogan fic i've ever read and definitely a great introduction to the ship. also Person X and logan both get a liberal dollop of angst (hooray!)

#memory loss tw #tw memory loss #amnesia tw #tw amnesia #tiger roars 🐯

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sunflowersunshinevol6 · 4 years

Text

Hello Harry

Part 2

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem OC

Warnings: smut, prostitution, infidelity

A/N: hope you all enjoy this. Feedback always appreciated

-Shay

Part one

Camille's in the kitchen when he gets home. The moment he sees her the guilt he has felt plaguing him the whole drive home disappears, replaced with the hurt and anger yet again.

"Welcome home baby," she says cheerfully, as if she hasn't a care in the world. She comes to him, arms open, only to give a confused 'hmm' when he rejects her arms.

"We need to talk." He says flatly. She can tell something's wrong.

"Anything baby-"

"Don' call me tha'." He snaps. He sighs, rubbing his hand over his face, trying to figure out how to have this conversation. :I met Marie today." He uses her fake name, wondering if she had ever told Camille her real one. From the look on her face he can tell she never did.

"Oh...Harry please let me-"

"Why weren't you honest with me?"

"What could I say? That I paid a prostitute to teach me how to please you? Do you realize how humiliating that is?"

"If you wanted tips you could have read a fucking Cosmo for fucks sake Camille! You paid her to teach you tricks. Did you really do that for me or-" he can't bring himself to say it, his whole body rolling with rage, his hands shake at his sides, eyes burning with unshed tears.

"Harry." She reaches up but he jerks just out of her reach. "Harry it was for you...I never....I would never-"

"I'm moving out." He says flatly, surprising even himself. "I can't....I can't be here." He pushes past her towards the bedroom they once shared, painful memories of love and laughter, intimacy fill his mind as he packs a bag and throws it over his shoulder.

"Harry please dont do this," she begs as he walks towards the door. The slamming of it as he leaves his final word on the matter.

He doesn't really have anywhere to go, not at the moment. But he knows the motels around the place well enough to find somewhere to sleep. Or not sleep as the case may be. He can't really imagine resting right now, he feels too much to let go of wakefulness.

He can't really see being with Camille anymore, even though he still loves her, he can't look at her without thinking of Prudence, of what she's paid her for.

And what he has paid her to do.

He feels...not bad about it, his relationship was over before he paid a stranger to blow him. But he feels weird, like there was more to it, something about their meeting that wasn't finished when he found out the truth about Camile, and came down Rudi's throat. Something that hung there in the air after they'd said goodbye.

Rudi.

Where the hell did that come from?

Harry flips a thin motel pillow over his face, blocking out the flashing neon.

Sleep.

Sleep. Now.

Fuck.

Doors bang along the balcony of the motel the ice machine rumbles to itself and cars howl past on the freeway. Harry flips onto his front and buries his face in the stale bedding, the sheets itch at his naked back. He misses his bed, but missing that leads to missing other things. His home, his girl, his entire previous existence.

He wishes he'd gone for a place with a mini-bar. If he's going to be this pathetic he might as well be drunk.

Voices cross the walkway outside of his room. He cracks an eye at the clock on the wall – 4 am. The voices get nearer, a deep rough voice, taunting and cruel.

"C'mon Jezebel...come here..." indistinct shuffling and the bang of a thin door crashing against the wall in the room next to his own. Great. A lighter thud as someone, presumably the 'Jezebel' in question – "How much? How much for you...like this?" A man growled almost against the the paper thin walls "You suddenly worth more? Someone been filling your head with nonesense?" the laugh again. "Get on your knees, two hundred girl, you're going to work for it." Harry officially gives up on sleep at the first moan.

It's unpleasant, the guys voice is like a raspy like he smokes too many cigarettes. He keeps up a steady commentary, barking the occasional 'Faster' or the slightly more unpleasant 'God like that, fuck' which ruins about eight of Harry's childhood memories. After a long long time, the strangled groans of appreciation grown in both volume and frequency, ending in a growled out 'Fuck!' and then, blissful silence until...

"Swallow."

Harry wishes for death, or at least alcohol, now with more sincerity than before. He really should have factored in cheap hotel = hookers and loud sex. Clearly he wasn't thinking. Since he's going to be awake he figures he might as well stop pretending. He noticed a coke machine at the end of the walkway earlier and so he gets up, flicks on the TV and pulls on his pants, searching for change. He's ducking out the door when he hears it, on the walkway.

"Not worth two hundred, was it Jezebel" the voice has gotten, if anything, more unpleasant. Pressing and dangerously low. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Nothing you haven't paid for." Replies a a sharp and annoyed tone. Harry freezes, because it isn't a bimbo's voice, it's Prudence.

Small fucking world huh?

"You should only be using that mouth to suck my dick." Snarls the man.

Harry opens the door, telling himself that this isn't his business, but that he has to intervene.

A man, a little taller than Prudence, but thicker with muscle and wearing the long dark coat and expensive suit of a businessman has her backed against the railing just outside his door. Prudence is bravely trying not to shiver in the night air, despite the fact that it's drizzling and she's still in the thin T-shirt and jeans she was wearing earlier.

"Can I help you?" the asshole snaps. Prudence looks at Harry with faint surprise and perhaps a trace of relief.

"No but..." Harry's mind works quickly. "well...'Jezebel' and I? We have an outstanding appointment...don't we?" he tries to be gross and sleezy, slightly smirking, hoping he's pulled it off. The guy looks at him a moment longer, then backs away, scoffing.

"This bitch isnt worth it." He confides, he slaps Prudence's ass, causing her to flinch, jerking away.

Harry ignores him, waiting instead for the man to leave, getting into a silver BMW on the other side of the parking lot.

"You ok Rudi?" Prudence frowns at the name but nods, a smile curving her mouth but not reaching her eyes.

"Yes, thank you...I always expect the worst from Benjamin."

"He seems like a dick"

Harry doesn't really know what to say to that. Because sleeping with reasonable, nice person is one thing, getting shoved around by vicious pricks at the break of dawn in a sleazy motel...he feels sorry for her.

"You want to...I don't know, come in, for a while?" She pauses, hesitating on the walkway. "Not for...just to get it together? I'll give you a ride home if you want."

A genuine smile, small but bright, spread across her face.

"Thank you Harry"

It's a little awkward. She stands just inside the doorway, the tv on low, the glowing light illuminating her face with shadows. Harry can see she's shivering.

"You can use the blanket if you wan'" he says, gesturing towards the bed. She smiles with gratitude, not saying anything she walks over to the bed, pulling the cheap duvet up and around herself. Harry clears his throat. "I'm sorry...I don't know what to say."

"It's alright. You don't have to say anything." Harry nods, a thick knot growing in his throat, he swallows hard, thinking about her mouth, the way she had worked him to release earlier, his lip twitches. She seems to sense where his mind is going.

"Do you-?" She doesn't finish. He knows what she's asking.

"No. No I'm okay." He mentally slaps himself. He doesnt want to be that guy. He won't be.

"You don't have to be a gentleman."

"I take it you're not used to that?" She shrugs.

"Some of the guys are nice. The women can be sweet sometimes....but it's like a facade. They don't want to 'be like the rest' they play a game but we both know what they're there for and after a few minutes it's all the same."

"Why do it? I mean...do you enjoy it?" His cheeks heat up awkwardly. He's not sure why he's asking her this.

"Are you asking because of our encounter earlier?" Shit. She caught him.

"You seemed pretty into it." She smiles, laughing lightly. It's nice, helps him relax a bit.

"I was. It's rare that I get to enjoy myself like that but....it's more of a job to pay for what I really do."

"And what's that?"

"I paint." This surprises him. He never expected that she could be....so normal. Is that the right word. "My dad....he always encouraged me to follow my heart."

"Does he know what you do to support yourself?" She shakes her head.

"No. My dad....we havent talked in a while." The way she says it leaves no room for more questions. She shuts down the conversation. Harry nods. Rudi lays back, opening the duvet to him. "Do you mind if I sleep here? Just for a few hours? I'm exhausted. I promise to keep my hands to myself." He chuckles, laughing for the first time in what felt like ages.

"A few hours." He agrees. He lays down, making sure to keep his distance as best he can. He stares at the ceiling, listening to her as she quickly falls asleep. He turns his head. She looks peaceful, the dark shadows under her eyes standing out against her skin but she almost looks like a child sleeping soundly. It doesn't take him long to follow suit, falling into fitful slumber.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #solo harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot

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dungeons-and-dragons-and-whump · 4 years

Text

lately ive been into epithet erased (which is REALLY GOOD you should watch it if u havent) and been lookin all over for whump but have found none so. did it myself.

_____

Percival King is Not Afraid of Pain / Rated PG for violence / angst/hurt/comfort / feat. finger whump, fire whump (is there a name for that? I don’t know)

Percival King was not afraid of pain.

Pain was nothing more than a natural response of the body, often following an action that caused physical harm. An alarm system, if you will, to ensure that one ceased the dangerous activity as soon as possible to avoid further damage.

Percival King was not afraid of pain.

Or, at least, that is what she told herself, as she was backhanded across the face for the fifth time since she had woken up fifteen minutes before.

“Do you think I’m playin’?!” The masked figure shouted, leaning uncomfortably close to her face. “I’m not afraid to kill you! I’ve killed before!”

“Regardless of their criminal record, anyone is capable of taking a life.” Was the officer’s nonchalant response. “Admitting to having committed such a heinous crime in the past only digs your grave deeper, my friend.”

“I am no friend of a cop!!” The young man slammed his fist down on the table beside her - which, seemed to be its’ only purpose, as the surface was bare. “And I’m not getting caught!! Tell me where the amulet is, now!!”

“That information is classified.” Percy replied firmly, shifting her wrists where they were locked in the cuffs behind her back. “You may as well give up. I am not going to give in.”

“We’ll see about that.” Fuming, the boy turned and stomped away into the darkness. Blinking into the bright light aimed at her face, Percy twisted her wrists once more, trying to get a better view of her surroundings.

She wasn’t entirely sure how, but approximately seventeen minutes ago now she had awoken in a dark room, chained to a chair with Eraser cuffs and very disoriented. Her captor - face hidden by a ski mask - had soon discovered she was awake, and had set to interrogating her in the hopes of finding a lead on the Arsene Amulet.

It was pitch-black other than the light in her eyes, so she had no clue as to what time of day it was, but the detective was confident that she would soon be found and rescued. Otherwise… she wasn’t sure how to get out. Her epithet was as good as gone, and her sword was nowhere to be found. Unless her captor slipped up, she was, unfortunately, rather helpless.

Speak of the devil, her captor appeared once more from the darkness, brandishing a lighter in one hand.

“Fire?” Percy questioned in amusement. “An amateur move, to be sure.”

“Maybe so, but I’ll take it if it gets you to talk.” He spat. She caught another voice in the darkness to her right - he wasn’t alone. Reaching out, the young man grabbed a shock of her hair, yanking her head to the right as he flicked the lighter open. Percy didn’t fight him, only tracked the dancing flame with her eyes as he held it close to her cheek.

“Where is the Arsene Amulet?” He demanded once more. Percy did not respond. “Tell me!” Nothing. “Now!” He edged the lighter closer. The heat on her face wasn’t painful, not yet, but it was getting to be quite uncomfortable. Still, she didn’t speak. “You really don’t want me to do this, cop!” He yelled, getting in her face once more. Her only response was to raise one corner of her mouth in a grimace.

He pressed the lighter against her cheek.

Percy was disappointed to hear a pained sound come from her mouth, her face scrunching up into a wince as she tried to jerk away. Unfortunately, though, the hand in her hair was strong, and all she accomplished was additional pain from the tugging of her hair from her scalp before the lighter flicked off.

“You see?!” Before she could recover, his hand struck her across the face again. “I’m not playing!!”

“I can see that.” She responded through gritted teeth.

“Then talk!!”

“No.” He hit her again, then whirled around, retreating into the darkness once more.

Rolling one shoulder, Percy craned her neck to press her burned cheek against the fabric of her jacket. While she obviously couldn’t see the damage, the wound felt raw and open. Most likely second-degree.

Returning once more, her masked captor set a pair of pliers down on the table beside her before coming around behind her and beginning to work at her cuffs. Percy waited with bated breath as one wrist was freed- her left. The now-empty cuff was then locked to a leg of her chair before the young man crossed into her field of vision again, her limp wrist held firmly in his grasp.

Snatching up the pliers, the man slammed her hand down onto the arm of the chair, positioning the pliers around her pinky finger - bare and unprotected, her gloves were missing. Percy winced in apprehension, but didn’t fight it.

“Talk.” His voice was low, and his eyes through the mask burned with intensity and rage. Percy shook her head once. He squeezed.

Percy let out a pained grunt as an audible crunch came from her pinky finger, pain shooting up her arm and into her body. The man released her for a moment, and she clutched her hand to her chest, bending over her shattered finger as pained tears threatened to flood her vision.

The next moment, she was on her feet, kicking her chair backwards and causing the other cuff to slip free before hurling a fist into her captor’s face.

The young man let out a startled yell as her punch landed straight on his nose, and she was already throwing another by the time he opened his eyes. Her second punch sent him crashing to the ground, but the next moment she found herself tackled to the ground by a second figure in a ski mask.

“Pin ‘er!!” The first voice snarled, and she twisted, trying to get a leg underneath her to unbalance her opponent. Abruptly, she was cut off by her own yelp of pain as one of her captor’s hands landed squarely on her broken finger, grinding it into the concrete floor.

Her right hand flew to her left, trying to protect her damaged hand, but this only alerted her captor to her pain and caused him to press harder. A pained wail escaping her throat, Percy scrabbled at the hand pinning her down, desperately trying to stop the pain that blinded her senses. A second hand seized her right wrist, slamming it onto the cold floor, and she looked up with wide eyes as the first man aligned the pliers with her right little finger.

“No-!” The single syllable escaped her before she could stop it, but it was no use as it was cut off by another yell, accompanied by the sound of her bone shattering. She struggled, fighting against both of the men holding her down, but her stamina was too low, she was just too weak-

A loud crash of metal on metal rang out through the cavernous room, and Percy looked up with tear-filled eyes to see a new light source illuminating the room behind her captors.

“None o’ that now. Folks are tryin’a work.” The next moment, something cracked against the head of the first man, and he slumped forward on top of her. Percy began to scramble away as the second jerked up, spinning around to try and defend himself from this new contender. Unfortunately for him, he was no match against the force that took out his partner, and a solid force slammed into his head which sent him crashing to the ground.

Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Percy grimaced, holding her injured hands tightly to her chest. A silhouette appeared against the new light, and she blinked up at them as they approached.

“Percy King.” Howie Honeyglow squatted down beside her, casting a disdainful glance at her broken and bruised pinky fingers. “Should’a guessed it was you causin’ all that racket.”

“Believe me, it was not my intent.” Her voice was raised in pitch, and she swallowed to force it back down to normal. “I am- not sure how I ended up in this situation, but-” She flinched away as he reached for her hands, and he stopped. “Those two were attempting to wrest from me any information I would give them on the Arsene Amulet.”

“That the magical doo-hickey everyone been fightin’ over?” Howie rumbled. “Waste of time, ‘ask me.”

“Hmm.” Slowly, painstakingly, Percy got to her feet, Howie keeping a watchful eye trained on her should she stumble and fall. “I need to get back to the station. Those two- I need to restrain them. They cannot be allowed to escape.”

“You need a doctor.” Howie corrected sternly. “They’ll be out for long enough, you get those bones set. Ya didn’t win the fight, ya didn’t get healed.”

“I’m aware.” Percy gave in, guarding her broken hands as she began to make her way towards the door. Barely a moment passed before she heard the shuffle of leather on concrete, Howie catching up to her with ease as she limped towards the exit. He eyed her for a moment, then slipped an arm under hers, supporting her as she made her way towards the street.

“Did you tell ‘em?” He asked, his voice low. She shook her head.

“No.”

“Good.” His tone left no room for argument. “Y’did yer job.”

He walked her all the way to the hospital.

#tw fingore #whump #tw burning #epithet erased #whumpblr #percival king #howie honeyglow

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bubblegumstardust · 4 years

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i havent bombarded you with questions in a long ass time so here i am (feel free to skip some if its too much): 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (i know you probably won’t even have to google), 16, 17, 18, 24, 27, 29, 33, 36, 41, 47, 51, 58, 59, 61, 66, 71, 74, 75, 76, 79, 80, 90, 95 and finally 100🥰🥰

Dear God Chelle 😂😂💕💕

So sorry this is so long but I can't do read more on mobile

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I try to have more cereal generally but I just chuck milk in randomly and if it ends up being more then it ends up being more 🤷‍♀️

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I generally just use an actual bookmark, but some things I've used in a pinch are: receipts, a pen, sunglasses, some mail, another book, debit card, a hairband, my purse

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I don't drink coffee and I just have a teaspoon or 2 of sugar in my tea

7: do you name your plants?

Yep, I have 2 in my room called Ellie and Nyah. I even named their pots because they're cute and shaped like a sheep and a hippo! The pots are called Pippa and Mimi and they're girlfriends

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Generally writing I guess. I do a lot of painting/drawing too but that's less feeling expression and more just fun.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yep, and I'm probably very annoying to share space with because I do it a lot

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

On my side and I have to switch like every 10 minutes when I'm trying to sleep or I get uncomfortable

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Literally cannot think off the top of my head. @wonderfilledness, remind me please. Also Chelle tell me any of ours I might have forgotten.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

In our solar system, Pluto because fuck science, it's a planet! Other than that there's a planet I can't remember the name of that, because of rotation speeds, always has the same side facing the sun so like most of the planet is uninhabitable except a thin strip on either side between the two

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

The pup. Also I was helping my mum make masks and I completely fucked up and it was really funny

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Ngl it would be a mess. Also probably covered in books and art stuff and it'd probably be light and airy with lots of plants and cute pastel colours

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Oh where to begin! Okay so for one NASA had to design a special pen for use in space because due to the lack of gravity, normal pens don't work. Any liquid in space will form itself into a sphere due to surface tension. Sunsets on Mars are blue. There's a planet where it's constantly raining glass sideways because wind speeds are so high. There's a (I think) dwarf planet in our solar system that they nicknamed The Goblin. Planet 9 is something we can observe exists but no one can find it and it might not be a planet at all. It could be a black hole or something. The moon is slowly drifting away. I'm gonna stop here but I could go on for ages.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Fucken love a good spaghetti bolognese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Kinda want it pastel pink or purple again but also really wanna dye it like a deep turquoise colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Excuse me how dare you assume I've done anything dumb! Tbh I definitely have but again my memory is really bad for stuff like this so I'm gonna turn to @wonderfilledness and @mooncloudsea for this again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Tbh, you Chelle. Also I'd definitely trust Alice with them but it's somehow easier to tell you because admiting stuff face to face is horrible and I can only talk to you online really

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I don't like gum

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Everything all you guys do is cute 😘💕

33: what’s your fave pastry?

C r o i s s a n t s

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Hmmm. I don't know what my mood is right now so like idk?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I mean I'm pretty sure the last book I actually read was Aurora Burning so I gotta say that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Well there's plenty of foods I don't like but I'm not sure I'd ban any of them because there's always people who do like them.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Okay it makes no sense but I always think of Alice when I here B0$$ by Fifth Harmony because it's one of the songs we always end up screaming along to in the car

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I feel like Alice is a vodka aunt and maybe I'm the wine mum?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Idk actually. I quite like the echo myth though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Honestly I have no idea 😂

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Small little delicate one with lots of small cute flowers like daisies and other pink white and purple ones. Also it would be full of forget me nots because they're my favourite flowers.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint all the way

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They have short brown hair and give some of the best hugs. They're a couple inches taller than me and will not let me forget it. They also steal all my old clothes and would probably steal my dog if given the chance. They need to learn to fucken drive already and it's been too long since I last saw them

75: tell us about your pets!

He babey. He also a little shit but I adore him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

So many things. Probably most importantly, applying for uni

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Lol no one likes me enough to do something cute for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light purple. I chose it when we first moved here but painted it even lighter a couple years in

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I'm generally not the biggest fan of cities but I actually really loved living in Nottingham. It was super developed and you had like everything you could need and want there but also really kept its historic feel and it never felt so overcrowded like places like London do and idk, it was just a really nice place to live

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I don't really have any in particular. Probably do some more art and writing and stuff but idk really

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I usually pick future no question but like I'm a little concerned as to what such a near future will actually look like. Maybe the past so I can redo some stuff and make a few better life decisions and get help for my mental health sooner and also maybe find a way to do something to prevent some of the awful things happening right now

#people talk to me

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