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shouldershimmycity · 2 years

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It's Not Easy Pt. 2 (Bradley Bradshaw x Reader)

Summary: You and Bradley were friends for years before you became more, and had to go through a lot of trials and heartache before that. You were always there for him when he needed you most. This is the story of how you grew to love Bradley, and how he grew to love you in return.

TW: Swearing, drinking, death, talk of heaven and dead parents, SO MUCH CRYING. Sadness. Suggestion of *ahem* self pleasure. (That's right, we're getting SPICY over hereeeee)

Friends to Lovers requested by @iefitzgerald-blog

I hope you guys like it, please comment and let me know 🥰 I love reading them. Also let me know your opinion for Part 3 here.

*****

Knocking on Maverick’s front door, you waited quietly for the man to answer. When he finally opened the door, you realized that he looked like you: having gotten minimal sleep the night before. His face fell when he realized you were alone.

“Hi Mav,” you greeted awkwardly, and he moved out of the way to let you in.

“Is Bradley okay?” he asked, and you hesitated on whether or not you wanted to give him the full story. You loved Mav, you did, but Bradley was your wingman, and you weren’t going to let his uncle try and block him again.

“Not really,” you confessed, shrugging your shoulders at him, “I mean, how would you feel if someone you trusted pulled your chance to fulfill your dream?” He looked hurt, but it wasn’t your intention. The words came out as gentle as they could, but there was no way for it to be sugar coated. You put your hands up in defense.

“Listen, Mav, I’m only here to grab Bradley’s things. He’s made the decision to stay at my house for the rest of senior year, and we’re clearing out the extra room in the basement for him. I’m not part of this, I’m just trying to help him,” you stated, turning to move down the hall to Bradley’s room.

Most of his stuff was still at Carole’s house, which he could have stayed at, but there was no one there to pay for utilities every month. Without even bringing it up to you OR Bradley, your parents offered him a place to stay. You were happy that they were willing to help him, and that your mom was starting to get past her worries.

You grabbed the empty suitcase that Bradley had brought all of his stuff in, and began grabbing his clothes from the closet and tossing them into it. He had a few framed pictures that you placed in between all of the clothing to protect them. There was a picture of his mom and dad when they had gotten married, him and his mom at a baseball game in middle school, and a picture of the two of you down at Pensacola in Florida. For yours and Bradley’s birthdays your moms had brought you down to see the Blue Angels show that year. That’s when you two had absolutely decided you were going to fly, it was a done deal.

Ignoring the sadness in your heart that started to grow, you went back about your business, grabbing what little else he had around the room and closing the suitcase tight. Sliding his backpack on, you lifted the suitcase and turned to see Maverick standing in the doorway of the room.

“I know I’m not part of this… but I don’t think I’ll be seeing you for a while, Mav,” you said quietly, and apologetically. The hurt on his face only weighed your heart down more, and you moved forward to hug the older gentleman. Despite what happened and what was yet to come, you felt for him. Deep down you knew there was something going on that maybe you would never understand, and that was okay.

“I’ll try and keep in touch,” you promised, stepping away from him to lift the suitcase once more, you passed him and turned back only once at the door to whisper a small goodbye to him, tears now coming from both of you.

*****

Bradley had gotten a job at a small family owned grocery store in town, insisting that since he was living with your family that he could help pay for groceries and bills. Of course, they simply put a show on for him, accepting the money every month only to put it in a savings account that they planned to present him with once he went off to college. If he went off to college. Unfortunately, since Bradley had been hoping for admittance to the naval academy, he didn’t apply anywhere else. There were only two places whose deadlines didn’t already pass. UVA was his goal, and the two of you had been waiting anxiously for a letter to appear in the mail.

The lights were turning off for the night, and Bradley had another hour of work before he could go, but when he was mopping the floor behind the deli counter where he worked he heard banging and a surprised shout.

“Ma’am we are CLOSED! We close early on Sundays!” his boss said apologetically, and Bradley had poked his head around the corner to see his boss had opened the door to speak to someone. What he didn’t expect was for you to be that someone. When you caught his eye, you shouted his name and raised an envelope over your head triumphantly.

“UVA!” you informed him, and he ran over to grab the letter.

“I am so sorry, Mr. Als, I couldn’t wait to get this to him, it’s too important,” you apologized, watching him open the letter, “I’ll even help you guys clean if that helps at all.”

Mr. Als shook his head, chuckling now at your antics, and was thoroughly invested in what the letter contained.

Bradley read the letter, his face showing no emotion as he did so. Finally, he looked up at you with joyful eyes.

“I got in,” he smiled, and you tackled him into a hug. Mr. Als whooped and his wife clapped from behind you guys, as she had witnessed the interaction.

“Congratulations, son,” he said, clapping him on the back. Bradley was a hard worker, and he was fond of him.

“Dear, why don’t you head home early tonight. You and your girlfriend can go celebrate together,” Mrs. Als smiled sweetly. Both you and Bradley made the same sounds of protest.

“She’s not–”

“We’re not–”

“No dating–”

“We’re friends–”

“Friends–”

Mr. Als winked at Bradley and you blushed, and Bradley announced that he would go put his apron away and that he would meet you outside.

While you waited in your truck, you saw Mrs. Als pull Bradley aside for a few seconds, then pat him on the back before letting him go for the night. His face went red and he was laughing when he opened the truck door. The bronco was currently getting repairs, so you had been bringing him back and forth to work for a few days.

“What was that about?” you chuckled, and Bradley shook his head.

“Nothing,” he assured, but when he looked at you, his breath hitched and so did yours. Something about the way he looked at you was different now, and you weren’t sure what it was, but you didn’t want it to stop.

*****

Thursday after school, Bradley pulled the bronco into your driveway, the both of you hopping out with backpacks in tow. You were two weeks away from graduation and you couldn’t be more excited. Things, although difficult, were starting to look up for Bradley, and he had been so happy since his acceptance to UVA.

Dropping your bags on the dining room table, you both made your way into the kitchen while chatting animatedly.

He grabbed some waffles out of the freezer and threw four in the toaster. Bradley grabbed the butter and you opened the cabinet to grab the syrup. That's when you saw it.

The stamp was the official Naval Academy logo, and your name was printed in neat little letters on a label that was placed in the dead center of the envelope. Shaking slightly, you reached out to grab it, staring at it when Bradley noticed your silence.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned, and you turned the paper to show him what it was; unsure of how he would react. He swallowed, nervous, but altogether he seemed to be alright with it.

“Open it?” he asked, wanting to hear the result for your own future.

Slowly, you tore away at the envelope corners, running your thumb through the paper until the letter inside was revealed. Pulling it out, fingers unfolding the page, your eyes scanned over the paper, not wanting to miss a single detail. If Bradley couldn’t hear your heart beating, you would be surprised. Finally your eyes found the words you were looking for.

“I was accepted,” the words filled the kitchen and Bradley stepped forward to envelop you in a hug. Your apology came out of your mouth before you could stop it, and Bradley pulled away to hold you at arms length. Behind him, the waffles popped out of the toaster.

“Do not apologize,” he ordered, wiping the tears from your cheeks tenderly, “you completely turned everything around for me in the past couple months, you deserve to have a victory. I know we won’t be together like we wanted to be, but you deserve this. Every bit of it. You have always been in my corner, always, and now it’s my turn.”

He was brushing his thumb on your cheek, which slowly had moved down to your jaw. His other hand tucked your hair behind your ear, and he was looking at you the way he did a few days ago, something different in his eyes. Slowly, he brought his forehead to yours, noses brushing softly. Your eyes fluttered closed just as his lips came to barely touch yours.

The door slammed and you practically pushed Bradley away from you in surprise. He also looked shocked, and the whooping of your brother filled the house.

“Guess who’s home fuckers!” he shouted, and you huffed.

“You, unfortunately,” you groaned, and your brother appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Shut up, you know you love me,” he chided, dropping his bags and grabbing you into a hug that you tried to resist.

“Let go of me, buttmunch!” you pushed in vain at the bigger man child who was attempting to hug you, and Bradley just laughed. You had forgotten that his college let out today.

“Hey! Bradshaw! Nice to see you man!” he fist bumped Bradley, “sorry to hear about the Naval Academy, man, I’m glad you’re staying with us though,” he said honestly, “congrats on UVA!” your friend scratched the back of his head shyly.

“Thanks,” he simply said.

Your brother turned to grab his bags, pulling them along into his room. When he closed the door, you cleared your throat and walked off towards the toaster.

“Waffles are uh– gonna get cold,” you mumbled, putting them on a plate and Bradley agreed, grabbing the ones you handed over to him with a thank you.

For the rest of the night, you awkwardly kept the ball rolling, hoping for absolutely no free space in which Bradley could address the elephant that now filled the room. Only when you closed the door to your bedroom that night did you let yourself think about it.

You had grown to be somewhat attracted to Bradley. He had ended up handsome, of course, but you never thought anything would come of it. In your mind, Bradley had other girls he was interested in, and while you were his best friend, you would never be more than that.

The beginning of senior year, the attraction had gotten really bad, especially after the shower incident. The way he looked at your body had embarrassed you at first, but you had actually decided you liked it. Only once did you allow yourself to imagine what it would be like with his mouth on your breasts. Sometimes you wondered if he thought the same thing. You usually hoped he did when you had a hand between your legs. Those thoughts would always end the same way, though, you’d shake your head to get them out of your mind, and pretend like you never thought of them. It was Bradley, after all.

Tonight was difficult, thinking about the almost kiss from earlier. You laid awake in bed, thinking about what could have happened if he had gone through with it. That's when it really hit you. Bradley tried to kiss you. Bradley. Tried to kiss you. He was the one who started it. Did he like you back? Could you even call it “like” at this point? Cause you sure as hell were hit with the brick that you loved him. You loved Bradley Bradshaw. Maybe, perhaps, he even loved you? You didn’t know.

*****

Both you and Bradley had backed off, unsure of how to proceed now; but that was okay. You both had so much going on in the next week and a half that you almost completely forgot about it. Prom was later that week, and you and Bradley had agreed to go together months ago. You had bought a red dress for the occasion, and Bradley had a red vest and tie to match. When you two were ready to go you told Bradley you had a surprise for him, but he had to take off his current tie. He obliged, and closed his eyes while you replaced it.

When he opened his eyes, he turned and looked into the mirror in the hallway, surprisingly touched at what he found. It was his dad's wedding tie, he had insisted on wearing a Hawaiian themed one; and Carole thought it was hysterical so she encouraged it.

“I found it while we were cleaning out your mom's attic,” you smiled, “I know it doesn't really match, but I don’t care.” Bradley turned to look at you, a smile lighting his own face.

“I look hot,” he said, jokingly, and you laughed. He deeply appreciated it.

“You should think about growing a mustache,” you stated, and Bradley considered this.

“Y’know, I just might,” he looked in the mirror, debating.

*****

After graduation, summer was in full swing, and you and Bradley were doing well. The two of you were becoming closer, and you were both happy with the way it was going. Between work, friends, and preparing for school, you were both having an excellent time. But when the fall rolled around, you were both hit with the realization that you wouldn’t be able to see each other everyday anymore. It hurt, so you decided to spend as much time together as possible before you had to leave.

Eventually, the time came, and Bradley saw you off at the academy with your parents. It hurt him that he wasn’t going with you, but it was okay, he’d be where he needed to be in the future. Bradley made some friends at UVA, and when you met them they told you about how he wouldn’t stop talking about you. He showed you around campus, and you became a regular face, making an appearance at least once a month.

One night, you and Bradley were at a get together for the ROTC kids, and someone suggested playing a game called Paranoia. Basically, everyone sat in a circle and someone whispered a question into someone's ear. They would answer it out loud, then the asker would flip a coin. If it landed on heads the question was revealed, if it landed on tails the next person went and left everyone wondering.

You and Bradley were sitting across from each other for two reasons. One, you had grown popular with the group, being from the academy so people wanted you to sit next to them; and two, the both of you were blocked from your shenanigans that way.

Hanson was currently whispering a question into Bradley’s ear, and without skipping a beat he said yes as the answer. The circle ooh’ed and whooped as you raised an eyebrow at him, in curiosity.

“Bradshaw’s seen your tits before?!” Hanson cried in surprise, without even flipping the coin; the circle erupted into chaos.

Your mouth dropped and Bradley covered his face in shame. I mean, you weren’t mad, it was true, he had seen your breasts by accident.

“Oh my God, Bradley!” you shouted but were cracking up, as was he.

Everyone was begging to hear the story, but you just put your hands up, calming them and explaining that it was an accident and it was through your shirt. When everyone had settled down, it was now Bradley’s turn to ask Marks a question. You shook your head, still embarrassed but finding it funny.

*****

You had just completed your second year of the academy, and Bradley was onto his junior year. Today you both had time off from work, he had devoted his summers to Mr. and Mrs. Als, who greatly appreciated his help. Every sunday you brought in a baked treat for them, and they loved having you around. You ended up working at the store that you and Bradley hid in forever ago, helping out Mrs. Silver.

It was a beautiful day, hardly a cloud in the sky. Driving your old truck down to the beach, you and Bradley were singing at the top of your lungs. Normally the windows would be rolled down, but it was too hot; that was your only complaint. You were on the brief stretch of highway that brought you over to your favorite spot when the sound of metal on metal filled your ears, and your truck shifted. You whipped your head around to see an SUV pushing you along the highway, the driver unconscious.

It’s like the next few seconds happened in the span of a minute for Bradley. You whipped your head to look at him, eyes fearful and wild, shrieking his name in panic. He felt his own eyes go wide. The SUV pushed past your truck and the wheel was yanked out from your hands, the other vehicle colliding once more with yours as it spun. The driver's side door was now crushed and you were screaming, desperately attempting to grab and hold onto the wheel, when the SUV pushed past your truck one more time. Your own truck spun now, hitting the barrier a few times and your truck resumed its upright position after flipping once. Neither you or Bradley were conscious when paramedics arrived.

Your eyes cracked open when you felt a hand running against your forehead, and you awoke to find yourself in the driver's seat of your truck in your driveway at home; not a scratch on the vehicle. Your window was rolled down and the birds were chirping pleasantly in the trees.

“Hey,” the owner of the voice was gentle, and he spoke like he was sorry he had to wake you, “you’re okay, don’t worry.” Your eyes focused on the man who had woken you from your deep sleep, and you instantly recognized him from his Hawaiian shirt.

“Goose?” you questioned, and the man nodded politely, grasping your hand in his. You felt so heavy, like you were made of concrete.

“Don’t panic, you’re not ready for us yet,” he soothed, still brushing his right hand on your face and you nodded peacefully, “you’ll be back to your family in no time, you’ve got big things ahead of you, kid.” Smiling tiredly at him, he gripped your hand, calling your name to make sure you were listening, and you gave him your full attention.

“Thank you for taking care of Bradley,” he said, tears in his eyes.

“It’s alright, Goose, I love Bradley,” you mumbled, smiling truly at the mention of your friend, mind still hazy, and he put his other hand out to grip your shoulder.

“Alright, brace yourself, kid. This is gonna hurt,” he warned, and before you could ask what he was talking about, a fiery electric shock ripped through your body.

Your eyes opened, and you were faced with the sky. Goose was right, that did hurt. Several paramedics stood around you, working on getting you back. You were aware of AED pads stuck to your chest. While one called out that you were back, the other informed you that you were in a car accident. Everything flooded back to you, and the only thing you could focus on was Bradley’s panicked face before you had blacked out.

“Bradley,” you called out, your voice strained. You attempted to sit up but paramedics held you down, instructing you not to move. When you became angry with them, you felt a prick on your arm. Your voice slowly began to slur and drop in volume as you fell back to sleep.

Bradley was alright for the most part. Now, anyway. At the scene of the accident, when they had pulled you from the vehicle and announced that you needed CPR because you had gone into cardiac arrest, Bradley couldn’t think straight. You were, ultimately, the only thing he had left. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if you died.

The deep cuts on various parts of his body stung, but he refused to get in the ambulance until he knew your heart was working once more. When they finally called out that you were okay, he was shoved in the back of an ambulance. Their reassurance that you were alive did little for his anxiety.

Now, he was sitting in the hospital, in his pajamas; next to your bed. Since Bradley was a patient here, only staying overnight, visiting hours did not apply to him. You had woken up an hour ago, and now the two of you sat in silence, appreciating the fact that neither of you were dead. Worse than Bradley, but only a broken arm, you fared extremely well considering the circumstances; and not counting your almost death. Your parents would visit tomorrow morning, as they had already been by and Bradley promised to keep them updated.

You had attempted to apologize to Bradley several times, but he assured you that it was not your fault. He held your hand, rubbing circles into the skin to keep the anxiety at bay as best he could.

“Bradley?” you finally whispered, and he hummed in response, “do you believe in heaven?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, “I do. I believe that my parents are there… Why do you ask?”

“If I tell you, I need you to know that I’m being honest– and serious,” you stared at him, and Bradley had never seen you so firm and sincere in his whole life, so all he could do was agree.

“I saw your dad, Bradley,” as soon as the words left your lips you started to cry, because saying them out loud meant it was real. You had died, and that was very scary, but Carole and Goose were there and also they were okay. “He told me I was going to be okay, and that medics were trying to bring me back,” your voice was now a few notes higher, and you shook with sobs, which pained you, and Bradley couldn’t help but join you in your emotion. His dad was okay, and he had made sure you were alright.

That was not something that Bradley or yourself would ever share with anyone else for many years, and the only other person who would come to know was Maverick: during one visit to his house for the holidays.

*****

It was your first Christmas after graduation, and you and Bradley had lucked out with leave for the week from flight school. You two were thrilled to be in the same class again. The both of you made your way up from Pensacola, and the next day it was snowing lightly, and you pulled up to a familiar house.

You had lied to Bradley and told him you were going Christmas shopping, but in reality you just wanted to see Mav. It had been a long while since you and him had gotten to chat, and you wanted to check in and catch up. With his little christmas gift in hand, you knocked on the door, ignoring the fact that it had been over a year since you last saw or called him.

When the door opened, you smiled and gave him a little wave. Despite the long absence from his life, he smiled and pulled you into a hug. You looked so much older from the last time he saw you, and it made him both sad and proud. You held out the medium sized box to him, and he accepted it with teary eyes. It was the first Christmas gift he had received in years, with you and Bradley gone from his life.

He poured you a cup of coffee while you chatted away, updating him on everything going on in your life. You shared how Bradley was doing, and that you both were pretty good in flight school. It wasn’t your fight, so you weren’t going to tiptoe around the fact that Maverick hadn’t succeeded in keeping him out of the sky. Besides, he knew anyway.

When he asked about the scars on your face, you recounted the tale of how another driver had apparently had a seizure while driving and pushed your truck around and you and Bradley had flipped. You forgot that you hadn’t mentioned that to him, electing not to scare him; but now that you were alright you felt safe to share.

“Don’t worry, Bradley’s not as bad as I was, I actually died for a second, so y’know,” you shrugged it off as if it wasn’t a big deal. Mav just stared at you, mouth gaping; and you decided to tell him.

“Can I tell you something, Mav?” you asked, the sudden emotion in your voice made Maverick shut his jaw and put his mug down and focus on whatever words you had to say.

“Anything,” he reassured, still rattled from your confession and you bit your lip. If that was bad, what you were about to share was worse.

“I saw him, when I died,” you whispered, remembering the kind face of Bradley’s father. Mav knew who you were referring to, and he couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes again, “he was so kind to me, Mav. But he’s okay,” you concluded, swallowing the lump in your throat. Ever since that day, you had wished that Goose was still here; Bradley deserved him to be around.

He nodded, the tears falling. He wiped them off and turned to grab something from the counter, which was really just an excuse to collect himself.

“I better get going, my family is going to see the lights later,” you sighed, standing from the little stool you had perched on for a while.

“It makes sense, y’know,” Mav said, and you cocked your head to question what he meant, “Goose would definitely be looking out for you, given how much Bradley loves you.” You shrugged, and shook your head a little a breathy laugh huffing past your lips; feeling awkward at the mention of love. “He loves you, kid, I mean, really loves you,” Mav continued, making it a point. You nodded at the older man, thanking him for the coffee, and leaving his house.

You didn’t want him to open his gift while you were there, knowing it would make him cry even more; and it did. It was an old picture that you and Bradley had drawn of him and Goose in art class, you had found it while cleaning out your room before you shipped out to Florida. An hour later your cell phone vibrated, and you flipped it open to reveal a short thank you text from Mav.

*****

Back in Pensacola, you and Bradley were pinned with your wings, graduating flight school. Receiving the call signs Rooster and Knuckles, you were so proud of each other. You had finally made it, and your childhood dreams were achieved.

After celebrating with family, you were out with your class, piling into a local bar for some drinks. You, never changing, drank only a little; a light buzz filling your body. Rooster on the other hand, was shitfaced. When you went to collect him, to bring him home, he shrugged you off.

“Bradley,” you tried to coax him into leaving as he pounded one more shot.

“What? I’m having a good time,” he slurred, and you shouted over the music for him to hear.

“Hey we have to go, you’re drunk,” you stated. Bradley was an emotional drunk, and you often liked to get him out of public places before he had a meltdown. Tonight he was being difficult.

“Can you just let me have fun please?” he ripped himself away from you, and hurt filled your eyes. He was usually emotional, but not like this, and never towards you. That's when you saw Hughes sitting next to Bradley, her eyes pointedly and guiltily ignoring the interaction. Her callsign was Vixen for a reason, all the women knew that she liked to stir shit up, using her looks to get the men’s attention; you had never been a target, until now. That’s when it clicked that she had been taking advantage of Bradley’s vulnerable state.

“Bradley,” you stated firmly, wanting to get him away from her.

“No!” he shouted, and now some people were looking, and you stood there awkwardly. “Y’know?! What is it you want from me? You constantly act like you want me, then you turn around and act like I don’t exist!” He turned to look at Vixen, and you knew those words were the outcome of whatever conversation that had taken place, and not his true sober thoughts. It still stung, and you flinched at his words, because they were a little true.

You never understood how to navigate your feelings for Bradley, and as a result the two of you had been in limbo for the past few years. Not quite an item, never kissed, but an understanding that something was there; and honestly, you’d never even kissed anyone else. In your heart, there was always this ridiculous expectation that Bradley would be all your firsts. You just hadn’t planned on it taking years to figure out. After all, you both have been kind of busy.

“Y’know, I’m getting tired of you not being able to make up your mind,” he slurred, stepping towards you to get in your face, and some of the guys in your class came to stand next to Bradley, to keep him from doing anything in his drunken state. Your eyes filled with tears and your lip trembled at Bradley’s outburst. “I’m tired of being left in the dust, grow up.” Bradley grimaced at you, and you saw red.

Before you could stop yourself, you clocked your best friend right between his eyes; knocking him out cold. Several of your classmates shouted in surprise, but no one blamed you. You glared at Vixen, who was just as shocked at your action, and turned to leave the bar before the tears started flowing down your face. How could this have happened? You knew it wasn’t true, how could it be? Did you really frustrate him that much? No. Bradley didn’t actually think that.

Right?

*****

The next morning, bright and early, Bradley was violently awoken at the sound of a rooster crow being cawed through a megaphone. He reached up to cover his ears, groaning at the movement and the pain he felt when he scrunched his nose involuntarily.

“Up and at em, Rooster! Cock a doodle doo, Motherfucker!” He cracked his eyes open to see his bunkmates and yours standing over him. He wasn’t sure where you were, but he wished it was you and not them. At least you’d be nice about harassing him while hungover and do it around noon.

“Oh my GOD, did I get hit by a truck last night?!” he moaned, the heat of liquor sitting in his stomach still. He was still in his dress whites, which were now wrinkled.

“You got shitfaced. If that’s how you are when you’re drunk, I would recommend never drinking again,” your bunkmate stated, stone cold.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and caught sight of himself in the window, “What the FUCK?!” he shouted, noticing the fact that his nose was now bruised and probably broken. Several chuckles filled the small room, and someone muttered.

“Here I thought we called her Knuckles from all the cracking…”

Bradley looked up at the mention of your new callsign, and realized your absence was purposeful.

“What?” he asked, hoping for clarification; hurt filling his eyes.

“Oh, she cracked you a good one, dude. Remind me to never get on her bad side,” his bunkmate stated.

“What happened last night?” Bradley pressed, he was ignoring the churn of his stomach as he waited for the answer. He was absolutely going to throw up within the next hour.

While everyone reminded him of what happened, horror filled his face. He believed none of that. He didn’t even know where that came from.

“Where is she?” he looked to your bunkmate, who pursed her lips in anger.

“She left last night, man, she couldn’t stop crying,” she shrugged, “I haven’t heard from her since, sorry.”

Head pounding, and cursing himself out, Bradley quickly changed out of his whites, into civvies, and ran out the door of the dorms to the bronco. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to you, but he had to make it right.

He fucked up bad.

*****

Part 3

It's Not Easy Tag List: @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @multiple-fandoms-girl @gretagerwigsmuse

#top gun rooster #bradley bradshaw #rooster top gun #rooster x reader #topgunmaverick #top gun #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster #top gun x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw

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chaotic-super · 1 year

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For Her Sake - Chapter 3

Read For Her Sake on Ao3 here!

Kara is so out of sorts from the events that have transpired that she’s barely even paying attention to where she’s going, tripping up the stairs twice on her way to the apartment.

She’s never felt more like a failure and she’s not sure whether it’s because the plan didn’t work, or because she was just exposed as a mother who can barely provide for her child to one of the richest people on the planet, someone so successful that she could just sit at home in her mansion doing nothing for the next thousand years without getting through even half of the money she has.

Either way, she should be grateful that her pride is the only thing to take a major hit tonight. Lena Luthor was right in regard to how stupid she’s been, how idiotic her plan was and how she could have very easily just deprived her own daughter, her pride and joy, of her presence in her life, of her mother.

That’s the one thing Kara can never let happen. They can lose everything but as long as they have each other, they will always be ok. Kara used to dream of her own parents after they passed and she always thought of that, of what she would be willing to trade to have them back and how she could be stripped of everything and she would be happy as long as she had them.

She didn’t get to make that deal before, after all, the dead are gone, but she can make that choice now. The choice to live with what they have and to be grateful to have each other.

She fidgets, reaching into her pocket for her keys and goes to grab them. In order to do so she passes the note from her right hand to her left and she actually looks at what had been pressed into her hand.

Kara almost drops it in fright, her heart suddenly pounding almost as hard as it did when she had a gun trained on her not long ago.

After she just tried to kidnap Lena and hold her for ransom, the woman just gave her four one hundred dollar bills, two fifties and two twenties. Lena Luthor just gave her everything out of her wallet, she just gave her enough money to pay for groceries and to get Lori a proper present for her birthday next month. Her little chipmunk will be five and she deserves to get something special.

She stuffs all but the twenties into her pocket and slides her key into the lock, tiptoeing inside so she doesn’t wake Alex and Lori.

The door gets deadbolted, this is a rough area and it’s their only real form of protection from anyone with any kind of malicious intent.

“Kara?” Alex’s hushed voice calls out, sleep still present in the way her words croak in her throat.

Through the darkness of the apartment, Kara can just about make out Alex’s form on the couch, lying across it lengthways and spread out as much as she can on the cushions.

“Yeah, it’s me. Go back to sleep, Alex.” Kara whispers, kicking off her shoes and pushing them aside with her ankle.

“Any issues helping out with the move?” Alex pushes herself up into more of a seated position, making a little bit of space for Kara to perch by her feet.

Kara takes the space, grateful to be sitting down, her knees feel weak with the adrenaline of everything happening finally starting to ease its way out of her body. “Nope, everything went ok. I’m just tired now. I got forty bucks for helping out.”

“I’m sorry, Kara.” By the tone of Alex’s voice, Kara already knows the look that must be written across her face, the one she does when she’s feeling guilty and beating herself up for something that isn’t her fault in the slightest.

Kara reaches over Alex’s legs, searching for her hand. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“You’ve been working overtime every day and picking up these weird jobs and being exhausted all the time. I can barely stay on my feet for more than ten or fifteen minutes and I feel so useless, I just want to help and be able to get a job again, to be able to get our lives back on track again.”

“I know. I wish we could be back where we were before too. Did you call up about the hospital bill? About seeing if you can get your insurance to cover some more of it?”

Alex’s hand holds Kara’s tight. “I tried, they said there’s nothing they can do.”

Rubbing a hand over her brow, Kara tries to think of something else to help them out, something legal this time. “Ok. I’m going to go call again tomorrow and try and put some pressure on them to see if they crack then. Let’s exhaust all of our options twice and see if we can find some wiggle room somewhere, something to work with.”

“Ok, but first, go and eat something and get some rest.”

Kara clicks her phone on, taking a look at the time and cringing, she isn’t going to get much sleep now, only a few hours until she’ll have to get up to get Lori ready for school. “Ew, tomorrow is going to suck.”

“Change your alarm, I’ll get Lori ready and take her to school tomorrow, then you can get some extra sleep.”

“Alex, it’s a twenty-minute walk both ways.”

Alex is quiet for a beat. “I’ll make it work. I’ll take my crutches just in case but I will make it work. Please, I have to do something other than watch my baby sister work herself to the bone just to come home and sleep for a couple of hours and then get right back to it.”

“You’ll call and wake me up if you’re struggling so I can come and help you?”

“I will, I promise.” Alex smiles to herself in relief, so glad that Kara is too tired to put up much of a fight so she can finally get out of this place and not feel so useless. She has a couple of resumes printed out too so if she’s feeling up to it, she can drop them in at a few of the businesses on the way back from the school, something Kara hasn’t been letting her do because she’s worried she’ll overexert herself and make her injuries worse. “Now, go and eat and get cleaned up so you can go to bed, there’s a little girl waiting to be snuggled by her mom.”

Kara snorts out a little laugh. “I don’t have to look to know that that little girl is starfishing across that bed and that I’m going to have to shove her back over onto her side to get in.”

“That little angel wouldn’t do that.” Alex smiles, looking through the dark over to the bed where a little lump is sleeping soundly beneath the duvet.

Kara snickers. “Then why didn’t you get in with her? I told you that I’d take the couch tonight.”

“She looked too peaceful to move, I’d rather you be the bad cop in that scenario,” Alex admits, fully aware of the soft spot in her heart for her niece.

“I knew it.” Kara stands, heading for the kitchen and turning on the tiny lap they have in there, the one that is the dimmest so they don’t accidentally wake Lori up with it when they are up late.

She opens up the cupboard, picks up a pack of ramen and makes a mental note to use some of the cash Lena gave her on groceries tomorrow on the way home.

Looking over at her sister, she can see that she’s falling asleep again so she gets her food ready as quietly as she can and shovels it into her face as soon as it’s done, searing off some of her taste buds in the process from how hot it is.

After a quick pitstop to the bathroom, Kara finds herself nudging Lori across the bed and wrapping her arms around the little one, eyes falling closed as soon as her head hits the pillow.

The buzzing of Kara’s phone wakes her up, a sound she absolutely despises.

Forcing herself to roll over and get it is only the first difficult task of the day but is definitely the hardest one she’s facing.

With her alarm off, she looks around the apartment and sighs into the quiet. With Alex and Lori gone it feels empty and wrong.

It does help her get ready quickly though, especially since she doesn’t have a child to appease or to try and follow her into the bathroom while she’s trying to do her morning business or shower.

She’s out of the door in no time, the cash she got from Lena sitting safely in her wallet ready for her trip to the store later and set for making her way to work, luckily it’s just a quick bus ride away.

Kara gets off the bus one stop early to drop into Noonan’s and get herself and her boss, Cat Grant, coffee, something she’s been in desperate need of since she woke up but to save on money, she waits for the one she can get on the company’s dime, rather than having one at home first.

She beats her boss into work with plenty of time to spare and uses the few extra minutes to get her desk looking presentable and to get Ms Grant’s schedule straightened out and ready for her arrival, masking everything that’s going on at home. If she lets on to her struggles then Ms Grant might not think she’ll be capable of taking on the increased workload that comes with being a reporter, her dream job, and it might just cost her the promotion she’s been working towards for years.

The best part about her job is that she has gaps in her work where she can fill the time sorting out her own affairs between sorting out Cat’s and so when her boss is off to attend a board meeting and requests that she stay back and to not interrupt her unless her business is crumbling, she uses the time to find an empty corner in the building and call up the hospital billing desk to try for the thousandth time to get them to agree to a lower upfront payment and to spread out the payment plan more so she can pay less each month, giving them more space to breathe.

“Hi, this is Kara Danvers calling in regard to the bill for Alexandra Danvers’ treatment, I would like to see if I can change the monthly rate.”

“Hello, Ms Danvers.” A surprisingly friendly voice greets her. She’s not spoken to anyone with such a friendly attitude in the billing department before. “I’m afraid I can’t lower the monthly rate because it looks like the debt has been paid in full, there are no monthly payments to be made.”

Kara’s jaw drops. What in the world is going on? “I’m sorry, I think I misheard, for a second there I thought you said that the bill has been paid.”

“It has, Ms Danvers. There are no bills due on your account. All debt has been paid off in full and the next six months’ physical therapy sessions have been prepaid.”

There’s a lump in Kara’s throat and “What? Can I ask who paid it?”

“I’m sorry, Ms Danvers, that’s confidential, all I can tell you is that it was confirmed as of eight AM today.”

A smile of pure relief and months’ worth of agony being released makes its way onto Kara’s face, tears welling up in her eyes. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome, Ms Danvers, have a lovely day.”

“You too,” Kara replies, hanging up the phone and holding it to her chest, trying to collect herself. Alex is going to be ecstatic about this, it means that without that bill hanging over them, they will be able to catch up on bills, pay off their debts and save up for a deposit to move somewhere better. They could be out of the shitty apartment within a few months.”

There isn’t much of a mystery about who paid off the bill. There is only one person with that much money that she’s interacted with in the past twenty-four hours that knows what’s going on and that woman is Lena Luthor. She owes that woman her life at this point.

This isn’t news she can share with Alex over the phone, she needs to speak to her in person to tell her the good news and figure out how to explain why her bill has been paid without telling her why it has been paid, without telling her what she tried to do, she could never look Alex in the eye again if she knew what she tried to pull.

“Hey, Kara, you alright?”

Kara jumps and turns around quickly only to see her best friend, Winn Schott, standing behind her, a dorky smile on his face. “Never better, Alex’s hospital debt has been cleared.”

“What? Kara, that’s great news!” Winn scoops her up into a hug. “I knew you could talk those insurance people around into covering it, this means you’ll be able to move back to the good side of town, right?”

Kara grins. “Hopefully soon, I have a few other debts to pay off first but once that’s covered and I have enough money for a security deposit, we’ll be able to move somewhere better, probably not as nice as we were living before but nicer than this. Things are looking up.”

“I’m so happy for you guys, I have hated not being able to help.”

Kara smacks his arm lightly. “Winn, you changed your entire schedule to start your day early and leave early so you can go and get Lori from school and drop her off at home. You’ve done more for us than I can thank you for.”

“It’s nothing, I like spending time with my niece anyway and I like being the favourite over Alex because I get her ice cream sometimes.”

“You do what? I never knew that!” Kara exclaims.

Winn just laughs at her. “Well yeah, because you’d tell me not to.”

Kara isn’t mad at all, in fact, she’s immensely grateful that Lori is still being able to experience at least a few of the things they can’t afford to do anymore and the time she spends with Winn is one of the things that has been constant throughout everything and from what Winn has told her before, Lori really opens up to him and tells him a lot about how much she misses her dad, something she doesn’t like to speak about to anyone else.

“I don’t mind. I’m glad she has you.”

“And I’m glad to have all of you Danvers women in my life. Lori is my favourite by a mile though.”

Kara rolls her eyes at him. “I’m under no illusions that she is, she’s my favourite too.”

Winn smiles at her and starts walking back across the bullpen to his desk. “She’s a good kid, now you better get back to work before Ms Grant comes back and murders you for leaving your desk.”

“Good idea.” Kara agrees, taking a seat at her own desk and filtering through emails, getting back to work so to try and make time go quicker so she can get home and share the good news. Winn has given her the perfect excuse for why the debt is paid. She can just say that she got the insurance to cover it, tonight is going to be the best night they’ve had in weeks.

In the meantime though, between actual work and clock-watching, she does one more thing. Kara orders a bunch of flowers to be delivered to the L-Corp building, specifically to the office of the one and only, Lena Luthor. She adds a note to the order too, it’s the absolute minimum she can do but it’s better than nothing.

She wants to make it a super fancy bouquet but she’s still got to be sensible, times are still tight and she still has to pay not only this month’s rent but also that of last month that she didn’t manage to pay. She gets a simple bouquet instead and hopes it will do the trick.

There’s one main message she needs to get to Lena and the note is going to say it for her.

Ms Luthor,

I owe you and I can’t thank you enough. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, name it.

Kindest of regards,

Kara Danvers.

She wants to write more, to write a whole essay detailing how much this means to her and profusely apologise for what she tried to take part in but there doesn’t seem to be enough words to truly encapsulate the magnitude of the emotions coursing through her.

With the order submitted and the confirmation email in her inbox, she knows she can sleep happy tonight with a big portion of her stress taken off of her shoulders and a little thank you gift to Lena planned for tomorrow, she focuses on her work, being more focused and presenting the best work she’s done in a long time to the point where even Cat comments on it when she gets back from her meeting.

Kara gets into her work so deeply that Winn makes her jump for the second time in one day when he comes up to tell her that he’s leaving for the day. “I’m going to go and get the munchkin, Kara. I’ll see you tomorrow.

“Thanks, Winn. Can you actually do me an extra favour?”

Winn is accepting before she can even say what it is, sliding his arms into the sleeves of his coat as he does so. “Yeah, of course, I can.”

“Can you check on Alex? She took Lori to school this morning and I haven’t heard from her to see how it went.”

“Good for her, getting back out there. I’ll let you know how she is when I get home.”

Kara is so very grateful for her friend. Not as grateful as she is for the woman who just paid off their mountain of medical debt but still grateful nonetheless. “You’re the best.”

“I know.”

Read more chapters early on Patreon here!

#cw supergirl #supercorp endgame #supergirl #supercorp #kara leaned in #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #chaotic super #fanfiction #fluff #fanfic #wlw ship #lesbian fiction #For Her Sake #single parent au

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ambassadorarlert · 2 years

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today is my birthday, and to celebrate i'm paying homage to aot characters and their big 3 zodiac signs. a few things though: a. the website i used doesn't allow for triple digit years, so i assigned a birth year based on their age of the completed manga, plus a year since the manga officially ended, plus whether they have had a birthday already or not, and worked around that. i also use 12:00PM as a time, and Oita, Japan as a birthplace b. we'd be here forever if i laid out everyone's birthchart, so i'm only doing sun/moon/rising. your sun sign represents your ego and motives, your moon sign represents how you handle your emotions, and your rising represents how present yourself. c. let's pretend certain ppl are alive and well ok this post is supposed to be happy :")

let's begin...

Eren Yeager - March 30th, 1999 Sun in Aries: very energetic and high-spirited. fiercely independent, must be first in everything, and enjoys taking risks. brilliant at initiating new projects, but terrible at following them to completion. an enthusiastic leader but tends to be a reluctant follower. often quick to anger, but you usually recovers just as fast, and regrets things that were said later. simple and direct, blunt and honest -- must be careful not to hurt others' feelings. the need to be competitive at all costs may provoke resistance from others, but, as long the sunny good humor is kept, this should not prove to be a major problem. Moon in Gemini: restless in the extreme, easily bored because of a short attention span. emotions change rapidly and loves to talk about feelings. generally has good judgment. the intellect controls emotions and does not overreact emotionally to things. a good jack-of-all-trades, has many sided interests and enjoy reasoning things through. attracted to traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. has vivid powers of emotional self-expression and can be a nonstop talker. loves to share ideas with anyone who will listen. Rising in Cancer: Very sensitive by nature, prefers to be in your own familiar surroundings. cautious and conservative. makes changes very slowly, if at all. does not open up easily to strangers. friendships are made for life and once given, your trust is forever. his mother and home as a child and early family life in general are very important. very sentimental. when feeling confident, he is very gentle, giving and protective of the needs of others. when feeling insecure or threatened, becomes overly sensitive to criticism, shy, withdrawn and moody. has a strong need for security in the sense that you are being loved, nourished and protected.

Mikasa Ackerman - February 10th, 1998 Sun in Aquarius: gets bored with the status quo and are generally open to new things and ideas. an individualist and a free spirit, friends are quite important as long as they do not try to tie her down by making too many emotional demands. thoughts are offbeat and a bit eccentric, but not always. very changeable. can be quite stubborn at times. very fair-minded when dealing with large groups or broad issues, are not always emotionally sensitive to the needs of individuals. extremely objective, with good powers of observation, would be qualified to study technical and complicated subjects, like science, computers or maybe even astrology. Moon in Leo: always wants to be proud of herself and will never do anything that will make her look bad. needs the respect and admiration of others and enjoy attracting attention. Everything she does tends to be self-emphasized and self-exaggerated. very stubborn. willful and independent. has to remember to allow the similar right to "be themselves." loves games and sports, would rather play than work. Rising in Gemini: extremely active by nature. likes to get around, meet people and do different things. very restless, can't seem to stay put. needs to be involved in several projects at once in order to keep the mind stimulated. likes to read books and to write letters and to talk. constantly. will always appear to be much younger than she really is. very adaptable and inquisitive, always open to new ideas and experiences. another "jack-of-all-trades", lively and versatile. athletic activity would be a good way to burn off energy.

Armin Arlert - November 3rd, 1999 Sun in Scorpio: intense and complex by nature. has extremely strong emotional reactions to most situations. feelings are often difficult to verbalize and therefore has a tendency to be very quiet. broods and thinks a lot. rarely gets overtly angry, and when he does, he is furious and unforgiving. when making an emotional commitment, it is total. is not attracted to superficial or casual relationships. when challenged, it is taken as a personal affront and lashes out/fights back in a vengeful manner. loves mysteries and the supernatural. a good detective, loves getting to the roots of problems and enjoys finding out what makes people tick. known to be very willful, powerful and quite tenacious. Moon in Virgo: tends to be serious-minded but mostly cheerful. needs tasks that engage both mind and hands. a careful worker who enjoys making things. neat and orderly, and are very concerned with good health habits. fastidious to the extreme, cannot tolerate messes and will immediately clean them up. reserved, shy, and very self-critical, tends to be very hard on himself. usually will go out of his way to be helpful. practical, reliable, efficient and conservative, at times a bit of a prude. known to lead a simple, uncomplicated, frugal, methodical and unemotional lifestyle. devoted and caring to those he loves. Rising in Capricorn: practical and reserved but very ambitious. an achiever and a hard worker, respects success. older looking and very serious as a youth, things lighten up and he will relax more as he matures. has a serious view of the world as being a difficult place to be in. very envious of those who seem to have an easier life than him, relaxation and play do not come easily. it's important that he had abundant parental support as a child so that he does not feel lonely and isolated as an adult. (:/) has an earthy sense of humor that can carry through when times really do get tough. purposeful, self-willed, industrious, realistic and responsible.

Jean Kirstein - April 7th, 1999 Sun in Aries: [Refer Eren Yeager] Moon in Sagittarius: prefers the grand, the beautiful, the good and noble. gets very disappointed when high expectations are not met. very curious, enjoys traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. needs to avoid the tendency of ignoring the small but important details of living. independent and free and wants others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have him around. has an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity. Rising in Cancer: [Refer to Eren Yeager] (funny how they could never seem to get along but have similar birth placements lol)

Connie Springer - May 2nd, 1999 Sun in Taurus: known for being patient, slow moving and careful. loves to prolong and savor enjoyable times. appreciates and need comfort, ease and warm surroundings. a tendency of becoming placid and self-satisfied, and to overeat; especially sweets. requires strenuous situations in order to grow and mature, and simultaneously actively avoids said situations. affectionate, even-tempered and slow to anger. when he is emotionally upset, he is also slow to forgive. demands real results from any situation. abstractions are very difficult to comprehend. very artistic, his hands love to mold and shape things. portrays an earthy, physical sexiness that others find quite seductive. Moon in Scorpio: feelings are very intense and never superficial. tends to be either very angry, very sad or completely happy. moods are deep, extreme and not always completely understood by himself or by others. emotionally tends to prefer to live at the cutting edge of life, pushing reactions to the ultimate extremes even if the results are dangerous or upsetting. easily jealous and very suspicious. requires a great deal of emotional reassurance. also is a good detective. very curious about deep and mysterious things, especially human nature and motivations. Rising in Leo: loves to be the center of attention and wants to appear strong, confident and dominant. very proud of himself, sometimes quite vain even. very dignified and honorable. enjoys the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. prefers rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as his budget allows. Physically, very impressive. has a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. has a tendency to be a show off! Sasha Braus - July 26th, 1999 Sun in Leo: More than a bit of a showoff, loves to be the center of attention! others do not usually mind because they tend to enjoy her genuine warmth and affection. very spirited and willful, proud and self-important. she demands her own way. quite honest. never compromises herself and pursues goals with persistence and dedication. her regal presence and demeanor draws her to positions of leadership and authority. must beware of being overly hardheaded, domineering, ostentatious or patronizing as this will lose the goodwill and admiration. very theatrical. lives life on a grand scale wherever and whenever possible. Moon in Capricorn: serious and shy and very uncomfortable in situations where spontaneous and exuberant emotional reactions seem called for. an achiever, prefers doing practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. needs role models to respect, love and emulate. tends to feel that she is a failure unless she get an important and highly respected position in life. Is always hard on herself. practical needs always win out over emotional considerations. must remember that she has the right to comfort, security and love. Dutiful and patient. when making an emotional commitment, it is for the long haul. Rising in Libra: Very attractive and popular, charm helps get her own way and prevents others from getting angry. "Peace and harmony at all costs" is her battle cry. always try to ameliorate or to cosmetically hide any physical ugliness or any angry feelings between people. Flashy, but not gaudy, prefers to dress elegantly. generally has good taste in music, art and literature. has a tendency to compromise herself in an attempt to be agreeable at all times. a social butterfly. can be vain and lazy. gracious and affectionate, serves as a role model to others.

Reiner Braun - August 1st, 1996 Sun in Leo: [Refer to Sasha Braus] Moon in Pisces: has strong feelings and is extremely sensitive. tends to react emotionally to every situation he comes across. kind, gentle and considerate of the feelings of others, good at taking care of the sick, wounded and helpless. will absorb the energy of others, and must avoid those who are always negative. has a rich, creative and lively imagination, but should be careful not to spend all his time daydreaming. very intuitive, has a good ESP and may be quite clairvoyant or psychic. must remember that he too has the right to get what he wants from life. Rising in Scorpio: tends to be quiet, reserved, secretive and quite difficult to understand. others notice his deep emotions and feelings and wonder how to draw him out. stubborn and tough, fights for any position he believes in. very resourceful and formidable when angered or upset about something. enjoys living life at the cutting edge, for life must be experienced intensely and totally. quite courageous, willing to take calculated risks. easily hurt by others, often strike back with bitter sarcasm. sensitive and curious. concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology. Bertolt Hoover - December 30th, 1996 Sun in Capricorn: extremely serious and mature. capable of accepting responsibilities and do so willingly. tends to get angry when people get rewards after not having worked anywhere near as hard as himself. goal-oriented and an achiever by nature. a hard worker and are justifiably proud of the tangible results of his efforts. tends to have "tunnel-vision" which allows him to block out extraneous matters that might distract others and to concentrate totally on the matter at hand. the ideal one to manage or administrate any ongoing project and will be practical and efficient at it. not a fast worker, but are quite thorough. known for being totally persistent, tenacious and tireless in reaching your goals. Moon in Virgo: [Refer to Armin Arlert] Rising in Aries: a free spirit, energetic, self-assertive and active. must do everything full-tilt, 100 miles per hour! a great competitor, but a poor cooperator. must learn how to lose gracefully. very self-confident, ambitious and passionate. radiates positive energy. blunt and direct, but at times unfeeling and tactless, especially if anyone offers you any resistance. fights for his beliefs, but often acts first and thinks later.

Annie Leonhardt - March 22nd, 1997 Sun in Aries: [Refer to Eren Yeager] Moon in Virgo: [Refer to Armin Arlert] Rising in Cancer: [Refer to Eren Yeager]

Levi Ackerman - December 25th, 1983 Sun in Capricorn: [Refer to Bertolt Hoover] Moon in Virgo: [Refer to Armin Arlert] Rising in Pisces: sensitive to his surroundings, other people's feelings become your feelings. must avoid negative people because his tendency to empathize with them will make him negative also. an idealist, must believe in something beyond normal everyday existence. a dreamer, likes to escape to a world of his own creation. known for his imagination and should try to share inner visions with others. self-sacrificial by nature. must allow himself to live once in a while. envious of those who are more aggressive than he is. his gentle charity and true humility are indeed wonderful gifts.

Hange Zoe - September 5th, 1991 Sun in Virgo: Extremely careful and cautious by nature. values neatness and order above all else. rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct. sometimes so supercritical that they come off as nit-picky. very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. likely their health is much better than they think. methodical and analytical, a perfectionist and makes them the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. pays so much attention to details that they may lose sight of the larger issues. Moon in Cancer: very strong and secure emotionally. intuitively knows what to do to make others feel comfortable, loved, accepted and needed. naturally enjoys feeding and taking care of others. it hurts deeply whenever anyone criticizes them. has an almost desperate need to be loved and wanted and needed by everyone and will go out of your their to be accommodating to them. Rising in Scorpio: [Refer to Reiner Braun]

Erwin Smith - October 14th, 1983 Sun in Libra: Very sociable. enjoys being with others and prefers not to be alone. Warm and affectionate. goes out of his way to make others like you. despises ugliness, for being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. prefers fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings. his refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. very indecisive. wavers and falters when forced to make a choice because he has the ability to see both sides of any question. very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. greatest challenge is to take any one-on-one and make the most of it. Moon in Capricorn: [Refer to Sasha Braus] Rising in Capricorn: [Refer to Armin Arlert]

reblogs and feedback are appreciated!

taglist: @xttxck @snake-titan @fireandblood-xxii

#pls take a big ol spoonful of salt #my writing #aot #snk #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #eren yeager #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #levi ackerman #connie springer #jean kirstein #sasha braus #hange zoe #erwin smith #reiner braun #bertolt hoover #annie leonhardt

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bloodxxandxxspirit · 1 year

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for @xxgotthedevilinsidexx (Arthur)

"I still can't believe the city voted a bookstore of all things to be added into Blackwater," Uncle complained as he climbed out of the back of the wagon that parked along the newly opened storefront. "If you ask me, they could've easily added another saloon. So sick of getting unfairly tossed out of the ones here. I don't appreciate how they treat the elderly. It's abuse, I tell you, abuse!"

Young Jack Marston, however, shared the opposite of Uncle's sentiments. He was thrilled to have a bookstore close to home. It was difficult to find stores that carried books to begin with. Unless he ordered from a catalog, or Arthur happened to find any during his outings, he often re-read some of his same books over and over again, or wrote his own stories, that he'd read aloud to his family if they were willing to listen.

Jack followed Uncle off the wagon, and as soon as his feet touched the ground, he was practically dancing about as if he had ants in his pants.

"C'mon, Uncle Arthur, Aunt Mary, we gotta hurry!" he begged.

Laughing quietly at Jack's impatient behavior, Mary Morgan carefully climbed down the wagon. "Jack, the store isn't going anywhere," she pointed out. "It only opened an hour ago!"

Mary looked forward to the Ladies Home Journal magazine, and being able to pick them up at the store when they first arrive, instead of paying the extra fee to have them delivered at the post office. The book store would also be a great place to find books, pens, and new journals for Arthur, whether it be for birthdays and Christmas presents. Being here with her husband, Jack, and Uncle gave John and Abigail some much-needed time alone together. Lord knew they needed it.

#xxgotthedevilinsidexx #; && Mary Linton (Verse: RDR2)#; && Arthur Morgan & Mary Linton (Verse: RDR2)

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dahliavadrax · 10 months

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— INTRODUCING: dahlia vadra

The Basics.

Full Name: Dahlia Vadra Face Claim: Megan Suri Pronouns and Gender: ciswoman (she/her) Birthday and Age: January 1st, 1998 (25) Zodiac: capricorn☉ virgo ☽ aquarius➶ Sexuality: bisexual Hometown: Truth or Consequences, NM Time spent in T or C: all her life Neighborhood: Vista La Verde Occupation: arcade attendant at the family fun center

The Personality.

Dahlia, as easy-going as she seems, is someone you better don't mess with. Not in the sense that you should avoid her or not make eye-contact but she's the kind of person who will give you a side-eye before talking to you whether you come in peace or not. She often seems reserved, maybe even a little standoffish but it usually comes from a place of insecurity and mistrust. However, with her being rather level-headed and practical, she's a perfect problem solver and tends to know what she's doing - at least on a more superficial level. She's loyal and honest, sometimes painfully so but if you need her, you can count on her. No matter what.

The Past.

Born and raised without much to her family's name, Dahlia grew up as the only child of two young parents who weren't exactly sure how to even be that but tried their best with what they had to offer early on. Working hard to keep the small family fed, she spent her childhood living in a trailer along with a lot of people she'd grow up alongside with and stick to for as long as she can remember.

She was always a creative person, picking up hobbies quickly but never quite burning for anything at all - whether it was instruments, painting or sports - at some point, Dahlia always came out of it bored and not exactly motivated to keep going. Her parents tried their best to keep her involved and engaged but most of the time, she'd find a reason to drop out of whatever club she joined.

Granted, she was by far no grade a student but school at least gave her some structure when she was lacking it at home, keeping her on track and on the road towards getting her high school diploma, just to sit on it for years and years to come.

Moving out seemed like a good idea at first but when the question of college popped up, it wasn't so much of a question where she'd go but what she'd even want to major in. She considered several courses all at once but ultimately, ended up not deciding on anything. She started a summer job as an arcade attendant instead, that'd soon turn into her main source of income.

After following through with her parents' wish to at least try to apply to college, she soon buried their dream by getting turned down and showing them the tuition she'd need to pay for. It never really bothered her that she didn't get to go - when you had a comfortable and familiar place to stay and your friends right there to walk the road of life along with you, why would you ever want to leave?

She'd always loved the arcade and she'd always loved the small town she'd grown up in - even if some didn't quite seem to understand why she'd decided to stay but with her friends and family there, she didn't feel like she was missing much of anything and therefore turned her summer job into a full time job.

The Present.

Dahlia has been working at the arcade for quite some time now and sometimes can't help but wonder if that was it for her. While she loves her job most of the time, she does crave having more control (and money) and is currently working towards a management position, mainly because she wants to oversee her hours a little more to make time for her friends and hobbies if needed.

She has the drive for it and the ambitions but even someone like Dahlia, who is usually strong-willed and well aware of what she wants and needs from life, struggles with the choices she made every now and then. Right now, she can't help but wonder if this vibe is forever but tries her best to enjoy the ride.

In her spare time, Dahlia likes to play music, go to shows of any kind and find new ways to remind her roommates of how lucky they are to live with someone like her. When she's not busy doing that, she can often be found roaming around the many art fairs and galleries around town.

The Connections.

close friends & childhood friends

exes

roommates ↳ @drizzduran ↳ @aspengorey

coworkers

anything and everything really!

#torcintro #( intro. )

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chaoticpanenergy · 2 years

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ooooh my birthday isn’t for a while still but i wonder if i could get my parents to pay for some more piercings as a birthday present, i desperately want more piercings

#peregrin said a thing #im pretty sure neither of my parents like piercings personally #but also they respect that im an adult n can do what i want #so whether or not they would be willing to pay as a birthday present is a tossup #i have two piercings on each of my lobes i think i want two more lobe piercings on each ear and also two helix ones on each ear too #and then. i want some kind of nose piercing. i can't decide if i want like. side of nose. or septum. bc i like both #but i suspect i just like septums bc lots of pretty gay people have them rn #so idk if i will still like it or not like it in say. 5 years.#maybe nose piercings can wait a few years while i figure that out lol #i also want tattoos but idk exactly what or where yet #so. if i focus on piercings. and ask my parents nicely. maybe #i dont think i have a ton of stuff on my wishlist rn and most of it isn't super expensive #and it's nice to take advantage of my birthday by asking for bigger things that i probably wouldn't be able to afford soon myself #also idk if i can get that many piercings at a time so that might complicate getting the parents on board to fund #bc it would probably have to be multiple occasions #hmm many thoughts

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bbangsoonie · 3 years

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chaser

member: jaehyun (hyunjae) genre: fluff word count: 1,226 synopsis: jaehyun is the ex-boyfriend who always treats you well—whether you’re together or broken up.

a/n: happy birthday to our present, lee jaehyun

You hadn’t expected to see Jaehyun at the party. Or maybe you subconsciously did, judging by your over-the-top outfit.

Nevertheless, you awkwardly made eye contact with your ex-boyfriend across the room. Even in a crowd, you were able to spot each other. Unsure if you should acknowledge his presence, you turned towards the table and grabbed yourself a drink.

With the music blaring, you could barely hear your own thoughts as you tried to find Sangyeon. He was the host of the party and the one who invited you there. Yet he was nowhere to be seen.

Sighing, you took another sip of your drink and began to search for any other familiar faces. When you spotted Kevin, your face lit up as you headed towards him.

“Y/n! You’re here!” he shouted over the loud noise. He pulled you in for a hug and your eyes landed on Jaehyun. His expression was unreadable as you smiled at your friend.

You tried your best to stop being so mindful of your ex. But you couldn’t help steal glances at him and remain wary of his gaze. Afterall, you hadn’t ended the relationship on bad terms. At the time of the breakup, you were going through personal issues and decided that you needed to focus on yourself rather than dating. Jaehyun respected your decision but was sad to let you go.

Not wanting to spend the whole night moping, you turned to alcohol to let loose. You allowed it to cloud your judgement as you out-drank everyone around you.

“Woah, you should slow down a bit,” Jacob warned. You insisted that you were fine and excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

You felt nothing but bliss as you stumbled towards the quieter hallway. Humming, you concentrated on your feet, willing them to take proper steps.

“You really shouldn’t be chugging like that,” you heard an all-too-familiar voice say from behind you. “Your stomach never feels well the day after.”

You turned around to see Jaehyun crossing his arms. His eyes bore into yours, making your heart skip a beat.

“Well, I’ll be the one to deal with it,” your tone was laced with spite to hide your true feelings.

“Just… pace yourself,” he sighed before leaving.

After you finished your business in the bathroom, you muttered under your breath as you washed your hands. You mumbled something about him paying you needless attention and swung the door open.

To your surprise, Jaehyun was waiting for you outside. Taken aback, you blankly stared at him. He cleared his throat before placing a hangover prevention drink in your hand. When you didn’t say anything, he walked away with another awkward cough.

You stared at the small bottle with a number of thoughts crossing your mind. Shaking your head, you decided to just drink it and forget about it.

By the time the party died down, there were only about a dozen people left at the house. It was only then that you finally saw Sangyeon, who introduced you to his new girlfriend. You joked about how she was out of his league, earning a laugh from her and a sarcastic eye roll from him.

While helping him wrap up, you drank whatever leftover alcohol you found as you cleaned. It was a waste to just throw it out.

It turned out to be a mistake, as mixing drinks in your stomach took a toll on you. Wanting some fresh air, you stepped out to sober up. You sat outside, relying on the wall to keep you from laying down.

You heard the door open and felt someone sit down next to you. You didn’t need to look to know who it was; you instantly recognized his scent.

Your hands held onto your head as you complained of dizziness and scolded the world to stop spinning.

“Drink,” Jaehyun said as he handed you a cup of water.

You took a gulp and kept the water in your cheeks. Your lips were pouted out to hold the liquid inside.

“Swallow,” he raised a brow until you complied.

“You don’t have to take care of me anymore, you know,” you pointed out.

“I know. But I want to.”

The two of you sat in silence. This time, it wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable and reminded you of when you used to date. He was always the same to you, whether he was your boyfriend or not. He was always genuine and caring.

And you hated it.

You hated how you were still unable to get over him.

“Why?” you asked.

He didn’t answer. Instead, he offered you a tight smile and got up. Extending his hand, he motioned for you to do the same.

You stared at it with a million thoughts running through your head. He made it so much harder to move on.

“Don’t be too nice to me,” you slapped his hand away and stood up on your own. “Our relationship isn’t like that anymore.”

“Right,” he muttered as he shoved his hand back into his pocket.

“Oh stop being such a wuss and just tell her you want to get back together,” a voice suddenly said, scaring you both. You turned around to see Changmin shaking his head at the sight in front of him.

“Shut up and mind your own business,” Jaehyun said as he pushed his friend back inside the house.

Changmin’s words rang and echoed in your mind. Jaehyun wanted to get back together with you? Was that even plausible?

Despite missing him like crazy, you never thought to consider that an option. You were the one who ended the relationship. You didn’t think you had the right to ask.

“Would you… take me back if I asked?” your voice was barely heard over the cicadas filling the awkward silence. “Or is that too shameless of me?”

Jaehyun couldn’t hide his shock. That same question had been troubling his mind for months. Making him wonder what could’ve been. What could be.

He didn’t think you’d be the one to ask.

“O-Of course,” he stuttered. “But… you really want to date again?”

“It’s not a relationship that I want, Jaehyun. I want you,” you confessed. “I broke up with you because I didn’t want to make you feel less prioritized. But at the same time, I’m selfish and realized that even though I was struggling, it was better when you were by my side. And now that I have my own life sorted out, I want to be greedy just once more to ask if we can start over.”

He couldn’t find the words to express how he felt. Instead, he pulled you in for a tight hug.

Surprised, you looked for an answer in his eyes as if his gesture wasn’t clear enough. Seeing your confusion, he chuckled as he ruffled your hair.

“I want you too, Y/n,” he grinned. “I thought you’d never ask so I was planning on clinging to you again.”

“Aw man, I should’ve held back a little more,” you joked.

“This time, I’m the tequila and you’re the lime chasing me.”

“Really? The chaser analogy again?”

“Hey, you used it on me first when I asked you out.”

Despite his teasing, your heart swelled with joy. Jaehyun made you happy and you weren’t going to deny it anymore.

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eremiie · 3 years

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𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧!;

❥ 17k words | pure fluff | eren x reader

❥ eren’s birthday is in a couple days and what better way to celebrate it by hosting a party with your friends? only, you can’t help but feel a little stressed out and a litte nervous.

❥ authors note; don’t remind me that this is two days late, i know i know, i needed a break, but i hope you enjoy anyways >:)

4 days.

"connie, sasha! can you guys stop messing around for three seconds?"

connie and sasha turned around at the same time, your hand impatiently drummed against the counter as you gave them an irritated stare. your patience was growing thin as you wanted the outcome of this event to be perfect.

eren's birthday was a couple days away.

it wasn't always that you wanted to prepare events, as a matter of fact it stressed you out a little too much to do so. but, this was an event you wanted to take charge of— you wanted it to go perfect with the help of some of your closest friends.

you had met eren only the beginning of your first year in college— this year. it was the classic i need a roommate, so do you, so let's be roommates thing. it made things a little easier on you, bills were easier to pay, school was easier to get to, and eren brought more comfort to you.

he made you more social, introduced you to new friends, and became a role in your life.

sasha crossed her legs from her position on the floor, setting her arms on the table, clasping her fingers while she nodded her head hastily. "okay, i swear i'm listening now."

"sorry." connie murmured with a scratch of his head. he leaned forward on the coffee table, a look that said carry on staring at you as you stared at him.

you sighed, guilt creeping up on you for the harshness of your previous sentence. "...i didn't mean to sound aggressive, i'm sorry, i'm just kind of stressed." you rested your head on the palm of your hand as your eyes trailed over the sloppy notes scribbled on a piece of notebook paper armin tore for you.

the top of the paper was practically glaring at you "eren's birthday party!!!" slapped between the margins in led. you skimmed the notes, some of your friends name with a dash pointed to what they would handle in relation to the party. you gave the paper a grim look, as you almost couldn't read your own writing.

it couldn't go too wrong right? you felt as if eren was somewhat of a picky person but deep down you knew he'd love anything that his friends presented to him because of the sentiment and thought behind it. eren wasn't too difficult, so why were you stressing so much? you have a great group of friends beside you that were even willing to go through with this birthday party. what was bothering you?

"_____," armin's hand slid to your back, rubbing up and down in a comforting manner. he jolt you out of your thoughts, your head turning to the side to look at him.

a warm smile was on his face, blue eyes almost relaxing, almost putting you at ease. he removed his hand from your back and grabbed your hand that was in your lap, giving it a light squeeze. "you know, for one of eren's birthdays when he was a kid i made him a dirt cake and we sat outside and pretended to eat it." you couldn't help but giggle at the thought of a small eren and armin sitting in the grass playing with dirt. "he was happy enough to hang out with me and do that— he was also happy when mikasa embroidered him the letter E on a piece of cloth. he hung it on his backpack, i'm sure it's still back at his mom's house."

armin looked up to mikasa for confirmation and she nodded her head from behind him on the couch. she looked up to the ceiling, reminiscing on the small memory with a small smile as she fiddled with her fingers. "i'm sure eren would enjoy this just as much as a dirt cake."

"and a tiny E embroidery." mikasa added with a chuckle.

you let your hand smooth over the back of your neck and nodded. "yeah... yeah, he'll like it." you weren't sure if you were just saying that to reassure yourself or saying that because you meant it. either way, you picked up the mechanical pencil next to your elbow and began writing again.

"hitch," you repeated as you wrote down her name, your the end of your h flying as you lifted the pencil off of the paper.

hitch looked up at you from her phone. "what's up?"

"you know a lot of people." she looked up for a second tapping her chin, as if she was pondering.

"yeah... if i do say so myself, i'm a little popular." she shrugged her shoulders with a smirk and you rolled your eyes at her, the both of you letting out a small laugh.

"can you get the word out to some people you know eren knows?"

"who does eren know?"

"you know... besides us, maybe like..." you let your mind wander. eren wasn't the most social person but neither were you. in the least he was pretty known around campus, given his temper and his personality, not to mention his looks. he definitely got eyed around campus albeit only talking to a few people. you weren't surprised when someone waved hey to him while he was minding his own.

"i'm just messing, i'll figure out something." a light bulb went off in her brain, her eyes lighting up. "oh! i could even make a cute little digital flier to give them all the info— armin what's your address?" she had somewhat of a creative prowess that you were thankful for. always willing to help you with minor inconveniences whether it be your fashion choices, socializing with others, designing things, and much more.

armin began to tell her, his voice fading out as you looked towards sasha who now had her head laid down on the table, like you only moments ago. "sash," her eyes looked up to you and she picked herself up from the glass surface. "can you handle the cake and snack ideas?" you knew sasha would be the best bet for the food, especially considering she was currently taking a culinary arts program.

her eyes widened a bit, another haste nod of her head that made her hickory ponytail bounce with each up and down motion. "yeah, definitely! i have a friend that is really good at baking too, i could ask him for help on the cake."

you pointed the pencil in your hand towards sasha with a smile. "knew i could count on you, please spare enough for the party though."

she rolled her eyes hand reaching out to push your hand back down to the table. "shush, i was only gonna eat a couple bites of whatever we make— don't act like you've never treated yourself while cooking." you shook your head, looking back down to the paper and writing food and cake next to sasha's name hiding the small grin on your face. "caught!" she exclaimed, pointing at you with a snap of her fingers. "red handed!"

"oh, shush." you whipped your head behind you to look at jean who was sitting in between mikasa and hitch. "jean," and then to connie, next to sasha, his eyes low and his face straight— a clear look of boredom. "connie?"

the two boys answered with a small "hm?"

"can the three of us go for decorations like on..." you tapped the pencil in your hand to your chin. if eren's birthday was on the thirtieth, and you would be decorating on the twenty-ninth, you'd wanna get the decorations a little early on— better safe than sorry anyways. "twenty seventh or twenty eight?"

"decorations? this is gonna be fun." connie came more alive at the sound of decorations. with a snicker, he rubbed his hands together like a classic villain in an old cliché movie.

"you guys are just coming with i'm not leaving y'all in charge of them. you'd fuck eren over."

"yeah? like how you wanna fu—" your hand slapped over connie's mouth faster than you could blink, connie's eyes going wide at the abrupt action and yours at the words that were beginning to spill over his lips. yes, you loved your friends but more often than not you couldn't stand them. sometimes you wondered if eren could've chose a better group of people to introduce you to. (in reality? you wouldn't trade them for the world.)

"no!" your response came out louder than you intended, the lot of your friends laughing. "can you not?" you turned back towards your paper, jotting down decorations beside jean and connie's names, your nose almost touching the white sheet with how close you were to it. the tingle of blood was flooding your cheeks and you took it upon yourself to take your time writing the date as well. "decorations, twenty eight."

"yes ma'am." jean replied clearing his throat with a small smirk on his face, glancing to connie before back to you. you sighed and rubbed your forehead.

"yes ma'am." connie repeated, small stifled chuckles trying to leave his quivering lips. you glared at him, and he tried not to smile, clearly dismissing how you were trying to kill him with a look.

armin spoke up, tapping your shoulder. "once you get the decorations stop by here, me and mikasa can help put them up the day of the party. you can come help too— make sure everything looks nice."

your attention was stolen, once again armin being the one who held it. "okay," decorating was already written next to mikasa and armin's names, but you marked the thirtieth next to it as well. "sasha, let's get the cake on the twenty-ninth so that it's closest to fresh as possible. i can come with right?"

"yeah, of course. i can pick you up that morning if you want me to."

that was perfect, you were practically beaming at the way everything was falling in place— everything felt as if it was falling in place, yes, but still your stomach flipped and your brain couldn't help but flood with the idea that something could go wrong.

you pushed the thoughts to the back of your brain and began to fold the paper in front of you neatly. "hitch, can i come over tomorrow? we can work on the digital fliers and figure out who to invite."

"sure, yeah, that's fine with me."

you pocketed the piece of paper and rose to your feet, pulling out your phone to check the time. you had been at armin and mikasa's place for four hours with your friends, and you had only been planning for a little bit— getting distracted was a hobby at this point. or maybe you were distracting yourself just because of the worry that the planning wouldn't go right.

"i'm gonna go," you stepped around the couch gingerly, avoiding the feet of your friends. "thank you guys."

armin followed your steps, standing up to trail after you. "i'll walk you to the door, the rest of them should be leaving soon too." he turned to the remainder, blonde brow rising over his eye. it wasn't a suggestion, you knew he'd be ushering them out the door soon enough.

"thank you, armin." not only thank you for a measly walk out the door, but a thanks to him helping you, keeping you at somewhat ease for the party. he was always so good to you— from helping you study when you needed it, talking to eren when he was upset with you. armin was always a shoulder to rely on, and you wouldn't have met him if it wasn't for eren. "thank you." you repeated under your breath as he opened the door for you.

the change in temperature as you stepped out the door felt better than it should have, the breeze hugged you tight, and you brought your hand to your chest as you stepped down the steps of armin's apartment.

you had a good set of friends on your shoulder, and a good plan in mind that you knew they'd help you with every step of the way. you breathed out through your nose and closed your eyes before turning back to the blonde, two calm oceans watching you with solicitude. "bye, armin." and another one of his warm smiles was thrown back to you as he waved and closed the door behind you.

when you returned to your apartment eren was asleep on the couch.

you moved as quietly as possible, shutting the door as quiet as you could muster. you slipped off your shoes and tiptoed over to the couch, every creak of the floor board felt like it could be heard no matter how quiet you thought you were being. although, when you peered down at eren's sleeping figure sprawled on the couch his eyes were still shut, he was still taken over by sleep.

even in his sleepy state his brows were still knit together, a small pout on his face as you listened to his slow breathing. his arm was supporting his head, the other one draped across his stomach and his hair wasn't in it's usual ponytail, hair messy and strewn about around his head and you almost wanted to let out a laugh at how cute he looked.

even though a bed probably would've been more comfortable, you didn't want to wake him. he looked pretty calm from where he was rested on the couch, eyes fluttering while they were still shut and lip twitching every now and then.

if you didn't know any better you would've bent down to place a kiss on his forehead, maybe the tip of his nose. or maybe you would've shook him awake and asked him to sleep beside you tonight. but you knew better and both of those options quickly dissolved from your mind before you could truly consider them.

instead, you took your time studying his pretty features until you felt like you studied long enough, almost surprised he didn't wake up, wondering why he felt like he was being watched. you spun on your heel and quietly creeped your way to your room, letting out a unsteady breath once you closed the door.

your back stayed pressed against the door as you looked at your feet. the chirp of an owl was almost too present, and if it wasn't for your thoughts you were sure you could've heard the television from your upstairs neighbor. you shook your head and face planted into your pillow, the bed bouncing up and down with the addition of your weight.

were you really worried about the birthday party? is that what was stressing you out?

the more you thought about it, the more it felt like a stupid party wasn't the sole root of your problems.

3 days.

you didn't even hear the sound of eren approaching you, too entranced with what was on your computer screen. when the rough pad of his finger tapped your shoulder you almost jumped out of your skin, your own finger moving quickly to switch tabs, your vision a blur and you not sure what you clicked before your head shot to face him. "eren!"

he put his hands up in mock surrender, glancing between you and your computer screen, intrigue in his green eyes. "what were you looking at?" of course that was the first thing he asked, that was just your luck.

you tapped your hands against the sides of your laptop, letting your gaze dart around the living room while eren waited a response that you were whipping up in your head. "a watch i'm gonna buy... for me."

"can i see it?" you almost rolled your eyes at how inconvenient that question was. your hand went to your mousepad, scrolling over to exit out of the tab, before looking back at eren. he narrowed his eyes as he literally watched you close out the tab in front of his face.

"no." your response was awkward— scratch that, the whole moment was awkward. "uh, what's up?" you shut your laptop as eren rounded the couch to come sit next to you. the weight of his body shifted you a bit, and his presence so close to you made you tense up slightly. his arm swinging over the back of the couch didn't help you either.

"didn't see you at all yesterday. when i woke up i checked your room and you were sleep." he checked on you? your heart practically skipped a beat at the simple sentence. you saw him almost everyday and have lived with him for almost a year now— why did he rack your nerves so much?

"yeah... i knocked out when i got home, but you were sleep when i got back anyways."

"where were you for so long?" genuine curiosity was present in his voice. "i was pretty bored here by myself, you know." his head tilted back to rest against the couch, his eyes still looking down at you as he let out an exaggerated breath.

you gave eren an uneven smile and crossed your arms. "with armin," you almost did a double take when eren's smile dropped.

"you left me to go to armin's house?"

"...i didn't think you wanted to come!" your voice came off defensive, and you quickly lowered it the nearer your sentence came to an end.

eren squinted his eyes at you, if looks could talk his would be calling you an idiot. he brought his head off the couch and leaned forward. any closer and he would be able to hear your heart thrumming in your chest. "you didn't think i wanted to come to armin and mikasa's house... you know, my childhood friends?"

when eren repeated your words back to you they did sound pretty dumb. you frowned, not sure if you were frowning at the boy in front of you or the stupidity of your sentence. your words tangled in your throat as they tried to form, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. eren leaned back, and you felt yourself gain control again, your heart quieting. "it was a last minute thing, i had to go to grab some notes from him and we got carried away."

"you and armin don—"

"mikasa! grab some notes from mikasa. calculus... calculus notes."

almost on cue, your phone buzzed from between the couch cushion beside you and your hand fumbled to find it, pulling it up once your phone was in between your fingers. you turned your phone up right, the blue light shining on your face as you read the small segment of the message hitch sent you. your finger swiped and your thumb unlocked your phone as you read the remainder of the text.

march 27th, 2:53pm

⤷ finished studying. you can be on your way!!!

⤷ i'll be omw in like 10

you looked back up to eren, his eyes already rested on your face. when you stood up from the couch, he still watched you as you maneuvered around the small space of the apartment clumsily. "i'm gonna be on my way to hitch's." you told him, grabbing your keys from the kitchen table and slipping on your crocs that were under it.

"you didn't have enough fun with armin yesterday?" when your head turned to look at him, his was giving you a bored stare, head hanging backwards over the couch, the flyaways around his face pointing towards the ground.

you stiffened at his statement, but nevertheless continued to move, your jacket coming over your arms and your phone slipping into the pocket of your sweats. "grabbing notes isn't fun, i won't be at hitch's for long either. you'll probably be home when i get back."

he pushed off the couch, taking long strides towards you with his hands buried in his own pockets. when he was but a few feet away, he stopped, and your eyes washed over his body. black t-shirt clinging to his skin and the band of his boxers playing peek-a-boo from where they sat a little above his sweatpants. when you snapped out of your thoughts and looked up the door was being held open for you, eren trying to suppress his small smile. "nope, probably gonna go hang out with someone."

"who?"

"you don't know her."

"oh..." you tucked your lip in between your teeth and opened the door wider for yourself. "okay, see you." and when the door shut behind you it somewhat startled you, and the walk to your car felt a little longer than usual.

the drive to campus felt a little longer than usual too.

when you did arrive the walk to her dorm was like expected, you made your way through the hallways, up the steps until you were standing in front of her dorm. your hand rapped her door a few times, a "hold on!" being yelled out to you once you stopped.

typical, the sound of rustling was coming from the other side and you heard her footsteps come closer until the door swung open. "here, here." she huffed out, opening up the door more so you could slip past her and into her room.

right off the bat you knew which side was hers— not that it wasn't your first time, just that she made it painfully obvious.

her clothes were scattered across the floor, and it was almost as if an invisible line was dividing her and her roommates side. a stack of papers and books on top of her desk, light from the lamp behind it struggling to shine through the stack. the other side of the desk looking pristine and neat— if you swiped your finger over top there wouldn't be a trace of dust. posters adorned above her bed as well as a small tapestry. "i see you tried to clean up before i got here."

"something like that," she waved you off, shutting the door behind her and rushing over to her bed to throw a couple pillows down then hopping up on it, patting the space beside her. "you know, i got some of the information down for the flier, i made it look pretty and shit last night i just need you to tell me a few more things."

you slipped off your shoes and hopped onto her bed as well, scooting back and pulling your knees to your chest as she scrolled through her phone.

"look," the device was shoved in your face, making you blink a few times as you waited for the screen to steady, a sage green flier with many small words looking back at you.

your hand wrapped around the phone, and hitch let go to watch your face. "you like?"

"happy birthday eren!" was big and bold dark green lettering, the title for the flier, while an old picture of eren sat to the side that made you let out a snort. beside it was the date and time for the event, as well as armin's address spanning across the middle of the flier from one end of it to the other. your eyes went back to the photo, but before you could get a good look at it hitch abruptly grabbed the phone back. "you don't like it?" a frown was on her face, and she inspected the image on her phone. "different color? is that what it is?"

you pursed your lips and leaned back against her wall. "i didn't say that— and the color is fine..." you stared at your knees as you remembered one of the first times you went into eren's room while he was sick. a tattered dark green cover was draped over his body and when you had pushed him about the condition of the cover— frayed ends and a few small holes here and there, he had told you it was an old gift from his mom and that he liked the color.

"hey," when you looked back up to hitch she wasn't to your side anymore, instead seated criss cross in front of you, hands in her lap and her phone discarded to her side. "what's up?"

you gave her a questioning glance before fiddling with your fingers that were propped up on your knees. there was nothing up with you— could you not do a little thinking? "nothing?"

"girl, please," she looked to her phone, it isolated on top of her sheets the green flier being the centerpiece of the screen. her fingers went to press the power button until the device went black, and your eyes couldn't be on it anymore, forced to give your attention to hitch. "is it about eren? you seemed to really like the picture of him on my phone, even though i stole that from our high school yearbook. he looks off with short hair doesn't he?"

come on— you couldn't possibly get any more predictable than this. "i was just thinking about his favorite color." which wasn't a lie, you were, your thinking just happened to go deeper than just his favorite color.

"you cannot lie to save your life..." hitch threw her head back as she began to laugh at you, her short hair bobbing on her shoulders as her hand came up to cover her mouth while her laughs died down. "favorite color my ass. what is up for real?" hitch knew you liked eren, they practically all did... except for eren himself.

your head fell into the space created between your knees and chest, and you groaned. "i don't even know myself. he just, he just—" a sound of frustration left your mouth, but was muffled by your legs. "i want this to go well for him." you picked your head up, but you weren't satisfied with your answer. by the way hitch looked at you, you could tell she wasn't either.

"keep going, i'm still listening." hitch's head nodded slowly, a reassuring nod— telling you it was okay to keep speaking, her ears were open to hear you out.

"i want this party to go well for him, of course i do; but after today i feel so dumb for putting so much time into it. maybe i'm overthinking it but i told eren i hung out with armin and he told me he was going to hang out with some girl i didn't know, and it just... i guess rubbed me wrong— so now i feel like i'm putting all my time into this for him and it'll kind of just mean nothing, all my time into planning this party that i feel like is stupid. i feel stupid."

it was like a dam broke, your words had flooded out, and you had said more than you wanted to, yet it still wasn't enough. hitch was satisfied— but you? you were not.

she grabbed some of your hair, pulling your head up by it. surprise danced across her features, surprised to see you weren't weeping, albeit your voice sounding shaky when you spoke. "i haven't seen eren pull anybody ever since we were in high school together, i doubt he all of a sudden has a girl or whatever." she gave you a half smile, hands coming up to grab yours, and your legs slid down into a criss cross position as well.

"plus the party isn't stupid and you're not stupid. it's not about how you feel about eren, it's about giving him and us a good time for his birthday. did you forget that it's for his birthday? shit, if you don't wanna plan it, i will— admissions gonna equal a bottle of booze." her chuckle was contagious and your lips couldn't help but upturn as you let one out too.

"listen, whenever i have a crush on someone i just go for it, you know? just tell him. maybe he was just trying to get you jealous or something." she shrugged her shoulders, while she played with your hands that were enveloped in hers.

"we live together, i don't wanna make it weird."

'it'll only be weird if he says no."

"which is a big possibility."

hitch glanced off to the side before letting her eyes settle on you again, her lips shifting as she looked for what to say. "um... but he could say yes too. you won't know if you don't ask. if you're not willing to move forward and take the risk you don't like him that much. if he says no eventually the two of you will go back to normal anyways." you did like him that much, you were just an anxious mess. especially when he was around; which was quite ironic considering you spent most of your time around him.

you let hitch's words sink into your flesh as you stared at her thumb smoothing over the soft skin of your hand. she wasn't totally wrong, you wouldn't know unless you asked, and nothing would really happen until you asked either.

"do what you will with that information." hitch cleared her throat, letting go of your hands and shuffling to sit beside you, grabbing her phone on the way, then turning around to sit her back against the wall as well. a thick silence fell over the two of you, and if it wasn't for how close both of you were it would've been awkward— for you, it was you and your thoughts talking, but for hitch?

"so... who are we inviting again?"

2 days.

"what do you think of these?" you flipped over the packet of balloons examining the details scribbled on the back, waiting for a response— but to no avail. you didn't receive one.

you turned around, expecting to see a nest of ash brown hair hovering over you as well as doe hazel eyes, but jean and connie were nowhere to be found. a groan of annoyance left your lips and you slipped the packet of balloons into the shopping basket that was hooked around your arm. "i guess these will do."

today felt slow, no progress felt like it was made albeit you running around a family dollar looking for simple birthday decorations, while your friends ran around looking for only God knows what.

you weren't sure if it was because this task was somewhat easy, or maybe because in a couple hours you'd be returning to your shared apartment with eren, continuing to sneak around as if you weren't planning an event. continuing to have to ignore his questions when you'd come in a little later than you usually do, because if you had said you were hanging out with one of your mutual friends he'd look at you funny— ask why you didn't take him with you.

he wasn't wrong, his friends were his friends before they were yours; he is the one who introduced you to them, you all of a sudden devising your own plans with them and seemingly having the time of your lives while he sat back at home of course rubbed him weird.

he didn't question you too much though.

he knew his birthday was coming up— he might be dense but he wasn't completely stupid. although he had no direct hint to you planning anything for him, his friends planning anything for him, the lack of mention of his birthday being soon was almost alarming. he hoped your running around without him had at least a little to do with his birthday.

and for that you thanked him, because besides your little crush on him, the whole mess surrounding his birthday made your stomach churn, having to keep something from him for so long racked your nerves and made it even harder to be around him just in case something accidentally slipped.

you dragged your feet to the isle next to you, peering down it to see the two boys you were looking for, jean and connie. you noticed them before they noticed you, connie's hands grabbing at something and throwing it in the basket in jean's hands. "guys," you said loud enough for them to hear, both of their heads whipping to look to you.

both of them slowly made their way towards you until you met in the middle of the aisle, your arm crossed and your lips pursed. "looking for decorations was fun by myself." your tone was sarcastic, and connie caught on nose scrunching at your comment, his hand coming out to pat your shoulder.

"listen, listen— i was getting eren's birthday present!" he replied, giving you a crooked smile.

your eyes darted between connie, jean and the small basket in his hands, dumbfounded. were you missing something? you didn't see a "birthday present" anywhere. you glanced back up to connie, confusion littered on your face. "where?"

connie's smile dropped, quickly turning into a frown and jean let out a short chuckle, connie glaring at him. he pointed towards the basket, then grabbing it and tilting it towards you. "snacks, and candy and shit. who doesn't like snacks?"

you looked into the basket, and inside was an arrangement of snacks— none that you could remember eren eating, maybe besides the flimsy bag of potato chips and sour gummy worms. "it's the thought that counts." you mumbled mostly to yourself, but both the boys in front of you heard, connie rolling his eyes and letting go of the basket.

it was ironic, because if it was just the thought that counted to you maybe you wouldn't be stressing so much over the party you were in the midst of planning. you wish you could take your own advice, and maybe be like connie and do something simple for eren without beating yourself up too much.

"shut up— we need to get a bag for it." connie mutters, but you knew he wasn't genuinely upset, he could care less what you thought of his present. if it was something he enjoyed it was most likely eren would enjoy it too. at least that's what he told himself.

"we need to get everything else for the party too— you guys left me when i was looking for balloons." your hands flew out from your sides, clearly exasperated with their lack of care for stranding in you in the isle over without a word.

"we didn't leave you, we just went an aisle over to get his gift."

"so you left me?" connie's eyes slide over to jean, who walked past the two of you, clearly trying to leave the store as soon as possible, or maybe dissociate himself from the small ruckus you were creating in the middle of the store.

"technically, no..." he murmured, walking past you as well, and you brought your hand to your forehead before speeding up your pace to catch up to jean, walking beside him instead of behind with connie.

the three of you walked in silence until you reached the decorations aisle, fingers brushing over the arrangement of decor, but you were mainly focused on the miscellaneous decorations, party streamers, tissues, table covers, and much more you couldn't name.

"jean?" he looked down at you, standing next to your figure who was crouched on the floor to be head on with the decorations seated on the small bottom shelf.

"what's up?"

you picked up two packs of table covers, in each of your hands, standing up and examining both packages, the only difference being the colors. "which one?"

jean took the white pack from your hands, turning it over then grabbing the dark green pack from your hands and looking it over as well. "they're both nice to me." he shrugged. he didn't see why the color of the table covers, or any decoration mattered so much. like you he knew eren wasn't too picky, yet you still continued to try to perfect every aspect of this party.

"well, which one do you think eren would like?"

jean furrowed his eyebrows at you, dropping both packages into the basket in your hands opposed to his— although he was helping with the party he wouldn't be paying for anything he didn't need to. "eren wouldn't care, _____."

you sighed, eyes drifting down to the new contents of your basket. "yeah, but—"

"just get both, and decide when we go there, he'll like either."

you fiddled with your hands, nodding your head and walking past jean to the party streamers— you didn't ask for his opinion, reckoning you'd get the same answer, so you slipped both the white streamer paper and dark green into your basket, making your way towards connie who was plucking a small paper bag from the rack.

"i'm gonna put it in this bag." connie said as soon as you had stopped in front of him, shoving the bag in your face, your hands coming up to lower it so you could see it more clearly. it was nice, a small blue bag with "happy birthday" sprawled on the front, in sparkly letters, and you smiled at connie who pulled it away from you.

"that's nice, i should get a bag too for his present shouldn't i?"

"well you're not putting it in a box are you?" you shook your head, it'd be better to put it in a little birthday bag then having to spend time wrapping it, so you stood in connie's place who moved aside to let you take a look at the arrangement of bags.

there were so many, but a pretty white one caught your eye, it was simple, happy birthday written in small text on the front in black, a period ending the short statement. the paper bag had two black ribbon handles that were rough to the touch when you had pulled it off its rack. "this is nice too, right?"

connie looked to the bag in your hand, nodding his head. of course he'd think it's nice, he wasn't like you— it made no difference from the bag in his hand. they were both made out of paper and both could complete the same job. you wished to have that mindset. "yeah, what did you get eren for his birthday?"

your eyes widened slightly, you were somewhat surprised he asked— or maybe surprised that he was the first to ask. you took pride in the gift you had bought him when others asked or when you had explained what it was to mikasa, but when it came to eren you were a little nervous to know if he'd like it or not. "just this custom watch, i thought it would be thoughtful."

jean came up behind connie, connie placing his bag into jean's basket. "yeah, i think he'd like it, i mean— i don't wear watches but i'd wear it once or twice."

you narrowed your eyes, scoffing at connie. "well good thing the watch isn't for you, let's go." connie shrugged his shoulders, and you went to grab paper plates and cups, even party hats just for the gag of it, soon enough making your way to the check out and buying all the supplies. your total was higher than you expected, and you blamed your indecisiveness, yet you would still buy whatever was needed for the party at hand.

the three of you loaded into jean's car, you placing the bags beside you and your phone buzzing. you pulled it out of your pocket to check the notification, a message from eren. you swiped left, having to swipe a couple times because of how fast you attempted to open the message. it was rare he texted you when you were out, especially when he knew you were out.

march 28th, 4:47pm

⤷ [attachment 1 image]

⤷ your package? where do you want me to leave it?

you knew right off the bat what it was, the watch you had just told connie about. when you had last checked the shipping date it wasn't scheduled to come today— it was one day early.

march 28th, 4:48pm

⤷ put it in my room, thanks

⤷ okay

you had dropped your phone into your lap, looking out to the window but it buzzed again, and you scrambled to pick it up once more.

march 28th, 4:53pm

⤷ wya?

⤷ in the car, i'll be home soon.

"can you guys take me home first, actually? we can take the stuff to armin's house the day before eren's party." you leaned forward so jean who was driving, could hear you, his head turning slightly as he listened.

"why?" your phone buzzed again, and just like that you forgot about the conversation at hand, diving to pick up your phone, eager to see what eren had sent now.

march 28th, 4:55pm

⤷ your car is here

⤷ oh, you're with who?

⤷ jean and connie

"i just want to go home for now, it'd be easier if we just brought everything over there when we go decorate." and even though jean disagreed, he began the route to your place instead, deciding not push any further.

although your phone didn't alert you that you got another notification, you went to go check anyways, grasping the device in your hand as you went back to you and eren's messages.

read, 4:55pm

you didn't even realize the small frown that was painted on your face, you placing your phone back into the pocket of your jacket, settling down into the seat you were sat on.

"yeah, take me home first."

1 day.

"how's this?" sasha tilted the bowl of frosting towards you, and you took a glance, the frosting a pretty shade of green, much like the flier hitch showed you two days before.

you nodded your head, "yeah, that color works.", and your friend smiled, spinning on her foot to place down the bowl of frosting beside the one of icing. she seemed more excited then you about the making of the cake. not to say you weren't excited, but it was more accurate to say you were highly strung about how it would turn out— more than you should have been.

"nico, grab the cake, i think it's chilled long enough." she dipped her finger into the bowl of frosting, putting it up to her lips and humming at the taste. "oh, yeah, that's good. eren better like this!" and you hoped he would too.

you tsked, grabbing the bowl and moving it over so niccollo could place the cake on the counter next to it. "what design are you thinking?" he asked, arm draping over sasha's shoulder as the two of them stood in front of you. although they didn't date you couldn't help but find them cute. you wondered if sasha or niccollo were in the same dilemma as you— only it seemed that their feelings were reciprocated opposed to you and eren.

you pondered for a second, recalling what you had thought up a couple nights ago. it was simple, "pipe the edges with one of those swirly tips, with the white icing, and.. write happy birthday in the middle. small letters." the small letters were somewhat of an improvisation, it reminded you of the small letters on the front of the gift bag you had got for eren.

as you spoke, sasha moved to grab the pipe tips and piping bags, as well as a spatula, placing the utensils down onto the surface next to the frosting. "i can see that in my head— it's gonna be so good, it's gonna look so good." she glanced up at niccollo, and he was already looking at her, a small smile on his face. "can i frost?"

"...you can frost with the green, i'll do the white; the piping and the words."

sasha beamed, clearly happy with whatever she could get, and she grabbed the spatula, scooping up some frosting and beginning to spread it across the cake. she smoothed the thick coat over the swirl cake, trying her best to cover the top, and you could already envision what it would look like in your head, and it wasn't bad. sasha wouldn't dare for it to look bad with how ecstatic she was to be making it, and you were sure niccollo wouldn't either.

it was mainly your idea, and niccollo and sasha would bring it to life. you would hope eren would like it as much as how much you liked the image of it in your head. "so what did you guys buy for snacks?"

niccollo made his way over to the sink, washing his hands before flinging them so water droplets flew in the sink. "well we bought the basic stuff, chips for the guac, candy for the bowls, and some drinks, plus beer at your friend hitch's request."

you laughed, hitch wouldn't be the only one enjoying it, the lot of you guys liked to drink. you knew eren would be appreciative at the gesture. "it probably wasn't just hitch who wanted it." you watched the blonde dry his hands, leaning against the sink counter. "so you're gonna make the guac, the guac for the chips?"

he nodded his head. "oh, yeah of course. i just can't make it today, i'll make it at... armin, armin's house?" his response was a question, and you nodded as well, letting him know he was thinking of the right person. "yeah, sash will get the stuff and i'll make it that day so it can be fresh."

"okay, that's good. are you gonna come to the party too?" you didn't know him personally, only having met him through sasha who you didn't know how she met him. she had seemed to have taken a liking to him, and you just followed through. after all like you said, they were cute, you wouldn't be surprised when sasha would break the news to you.

"no, i have work that day... i'll be there beforehand to help sasha and you, and everyone set up, if it helps."

"no, yeah— it'd be a lot of help." you gave him a small smile, sliding over more towards sasha to check on the cake. "so, out of curiosity; how did the two of you meet?"

sasha grinned at the question, grabbing some more frosting with the spatula and slapping it onto the side of the cake. she didn't give niccollo time to answer, mouth opening to do so for him. "culinary class! he's so fucking good at cooking, like how?" she tilted her head back to direct the grin on her face at him, and he gave her one back.

"yeah, sasha's not too bad herself either. how did you and sasha meet?" his words sounded like an understatement and you chuckled.

but you and sasha meeting? it wasn't much of a story to tell. "oh, just through eren at the beginning of last semester."

"eren? the birthday boy?"

"yeah, birthday boy... he introduced me to all of them really, nothing special." you shifted on your feet, hands coming together so you could play with your nails, looking down at your hands.

"tell me about you and birthday boy— how did the two of you meet?" you didn't know someone could ask so many questions, but it wasn't like you didn't ignite the conversation to save from the silence.

sasha's shoulders bounced as she laughed softly, and although you couldn't see her, her still smoothing away at the almost completely green cake, you glared at her.

"he's my roommate. i needed one and he needed one, and you know how that goes."

niccollo raised a brow. he clearly caught onto the way you tried to brush the topic off too fast, but so did sasha despite her being occupied. wasn't he majoring in culinary arts? not psychology— there was no reason for him to read you that fast. "and how does that go, _____?" sasha titters and you could tell she was smiling from the tone of her voice.

"fine." you were blunt, your voice montone apart from the small falter at the end of your sentence. "it's cool, having a roommate, he's nice and fun to have around."

sasha's expression mimicked niccollo's, her arms crossing and her brow going up before she walked over to the sink and began to wash the spatula, the water somewhat saving you from the awkward silence, the same one you had tried to stop earlier. sasha broke it though, and in the worst way she could.

"she likes him."

your hand slapped your forehead, and you let out an exasperated groan, both sasha and niccollo laughing at you, but sasha must've felt somewhat bad, a pout on her face as she came over to pull you into a tight hug. "sorry, but you weren't gonna say it and it's kind of obvious."

"well you didn't have to say it out loud." you didn't hug her back, one hand sliding down your face, and the other hanging at your side.

"well how else would nico know?"

"he doesn't."

nicollo took over sasha's place at the counter, not phased by your reluctance to tell him. he tidied up her small mistakes when she was frosting the cake. "sash, can you fill the piping bags?" sasha pranced over to the piping bags after letting go of you and her hands grabbed them, placing the tip on the bags and then rummaging the drawer for a spare spatula, using it to scoop up some of the the white icing and stuff it into the utensil. "so you like him?"

you sighed. she didn't have to repeat it, but still you nodded your head, and then realizing he couldn't see you. "...yeah."

"she won't tell him though." sasha added, dipping another finger into the icing and sucking it off her finger once more. did she have to reveal everything? "i don't see why, if it was me i'd just tell him, what's the worst that could happen."

your eyes glanced between sasha and niccollo.

that was ironic.

"just tell him, who knows, he could like you back." the conversation sounded too familiar, and you rolled your eyes, why did everyone think this was such an easy feat? niccollo leaned towards the cake, icing squeezing out of the pipe creating an intricate swirl that was being detailed around the circumference of the cake.

you folded your arms against the counter you were leaning against, and let out a huff of breath. "it's not that easy. we're roommates, things will be awkward." and you felt like you were repeating yourself— is this what people called deja vu?

"i think eren might like her back." sasha moved the bowl of white icing onto the other side of niccollo and hopped onto the counter beside him, placing the other bowl in her lap, fingers tapping against the sides.

"why?" you were curious, you didn't think anything hinted that he could like you, especially not with the encounter you had with him when you were leaving for hitch's.

"i don't know," she shrugged. "when you guys first moved in together he would always talk about his," she mimicked his voice, "new roommate."

you blinked, then blinked again, arms unfolding and you picking yourself up from the surface you were leaning against. eren talking about you? you wanted to hear more. "that's it?"

another shrug, and another scoop of frosting. "i mean, he talks about you in general too."

"what does he say?"

sasha squinted at you, shaking her head. "i said in general," and her hands went up into quotations, "me and ______ are going to do this, last night me and ______ did this, shit like that."

your stomach twisted, and your legs felt a little wobbly. you cleared your throat, and you wanted to speak but you were a little bit in... shock? but niccollo spoke instead, "i finished."

sasha made a small noise of joy, hopping off the counter she was seated on and pushing over the bowl of frosting, peeking around niccollo to see the cake.

you padded over, standing next to sasha to see the cake as well; and it was pretty.

swirls danced across the edge of the cake, the white contrasting the soft green that was painted over the it and smoothed over almost perfectly. in simple bold letters, "happy birthday, eren." detailed the center, a small heart added to the end.

"it's nice... i really like it, yeah, this is what it looked like in my head." and you weren't lying, it almost was like a carbon copy of what you envisioned, and you were almost surprised at how well niccollo and sasha pulled it off, not that you should be, you did ask for help of two culinary art students. "thank you, thanks so much."

your face was lit up, and sasha and niccollo gleamed smiles at you, delighted that you were happy. being able to make you happy seemed to be enough for them. "glad you like it," he said, and you pulled out your phone to snap a quick picture, pressing the device to your chest. "i added the heart for you."

your eyes rolled back but you couldn't help but chuckle, another "thank you" leaving your lips and your eyes not leaving the cake, even when he went to put it in the refrigerator. once the cake wasn't in your line of sight anymore, that nervous feeling returned out of nowhere, for no reason, and your hands felt sweaty, phone almost slipping from where it was pressed between your chest and hand.

sasha caught on, grabbing your other hand and letting her fingers fall between yours, hands clasped together, and she was radiating solace, sucking up your worries and dispelling them for you.

"he'll like it."

"you sure?"

"of course! i'm sure."

happy birthday, eren.

it wasn't a normal occurrence for you to cook eren breakfast— as a matter of fact you couldn't recall ever cooking breakfast for him.

making dinner? yeah! there were plenty of times the two of you twirled around the kitchen, bodies bumping and fits of giggles bouncing around the small space, while you muttered "sorry!" to each other every now and then.

for now, it was just you.

eren hadn't woken up yet, and so to do him a birthday favor you decided to make him a birthday meal.

you flipped the pancakes cooking on the stove, sauntering over to the fridge and pulling out the package of bacon and plopping in onto the top of the counter. you felt like you had been in the kitchen at least every day now, and you couldn't remember the last time you had actually sat down to participate in one of your hobbies, or to relax. you sure were taking this upcoming event seriously, and you were glad your friend were too.

your fingers tapped against the steel of the fridge handle as your eyes skimmed the contents of the refrigerator; you felt like it wasn't enough, there was nothing special to you about some flimsy pancakes and bacon, so you grasped the carton of eggs and closed one of the fridge doors, leaning towards the side to plop them next to the bacon.

when you turned back around to close the other door, there eren stood, you practically jolting out your skin. "jesus!" you all but screamed, your hand flying to your chest and you stumbling backwards at his abrupt appearance. "eren!"

he chuckled, closing the fridge door for you and stepping forward to stand in its place. "g'morning." his voice was still groggy with sleep, and he still looked sleepy— his eyes still swollen from it, hair messily framing his face. his hair tie must've fell out while he tossed and turned.

your hand fell from your chest and dropped down to your side, tugging your shirt lower and fumbling with the fabric while your eyes glanced around the small kitchen. "morning."

"just morning? aren't you forgetting something?" you gave him a crooked smile, and he stepped forward until his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your frame against his until you were engaged in a hug, minus the fact that your arms were still awkwardly against your sides.

your body began heating up and you felt like you lost control of yourself for a minute, hands taking a bit too long to wrap around eren as well. it was nice, he felt warm, and he brang a sense of comfort, so you relaxed against him a little more. heck, you didn't need time to sit down and relax or do a hobby when you had eren. he was enough to give you a break, just being around him was enough.

"happy birthday." your voice was merely above a whisper, but he heard it— a hum that could be heard through his chest, where your head laid.

"thank you," he said audibly, pulling you away, and you wished the hug could last for a little longer, hesitantly pulling back too and letting your hands smooth over the sudden goosebumps on your arms from the air of the room. "your pancake."

you quirked a brow at him, until your eyes followed his finger, the pancake on the stove that had been there longer than it should have, and you scrambled over in realization, eyes going wide as you fumbled for the spatula, slipping it under the pancake and flipping it over to check the underside. it wasn't burnt— the underside was just a little browner than it should have been. your free hand brought the plate next to the stove closer and slipped the pancake off the pan onto the plate.

"what woke you up?" you asked, as your hands went to grab the bacon and an extra bowl, turning down the heat of the stove and moving to strip the bacon from its packet, setting them down on the pan.

"the smell of your cooking." he smiled, arms crossed from where he leaned against the fridge. he slinked over, until he was behind you, peering down as you placed the last strip of bacon on the steel pan. "who's the breakfast for? me?"

you let out a small laugh, cracking two eggs in a bowl and eren followed along as you moved to the counter, then to the spice rack, grabbing two small spice jars and sliding back to your bowl. "yeah, actually. it's your birthday, right?"

"yeah." he moved over to the fridge, grabbing the bag of cheese and throwing it down onto the counter you were working at. "i like cheese in my eggs." you shook your head but your hands still moved to grab the bag, fingers pulling the seal open and your hand dipping into the bag to sprinkle some into eren's eggs. it was his day after all.

you didn't even realize he had moved from behind you until you heard the sizzle of the bacon on the pan, his hand setting down the spatula, and only then did you realize he had flipped them for you— his head turning towards you to watch you make the eggs, you whisking at the mixture. "thank you." you said softly, eyes lingering on his curious expression before turning back to the eggs. "anything you doing for your birthday?"

it was funny, how you asked that as if you and his friends didn't plan out a whole event for him alone.

he shook his head, as you expected and you couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face as you walked over to the stove, checking on the bacon, and eren taking your spot near the eggs. he slowly began whisking at the mixture despite them already being mixed. it was a domestic feeling, one that you felt before yet it still felt fresh, still felt new and it still made you want to live in moments like these forever.

"nah, you wanna do something with me?"

your lip twitches, and you place the bacon next to the stack of pancakes. the oil drifts to the side as you lean the pan and simply stare for a few minutes, before going to the sink and dumping it. you wiped the side of the pan and spread oil onto it before placing the bottle of oil down and reaching your hand out for eren to pass you the eggs.

he does, his fingertips sliding over yours as he passes it along, and you pour it into the pan, then turning to drop the bowl in the sink. "omelette or scrambled? and you wanna go to armin's later today?"

he scoffed, fingers drumming on the now empty counter he was leaning against, like he was in disbelief that you wanted to go there again; and it seemed that way from his next sentence, him practically bringing your thoughts to life. "scrambled, and you wanna go there again, you've been there like twice this week? what's at armin's?"

the spatula flipped in your hand, and you frowned at eren. "nothing, we should just go there for a get together— it's your birthday after all." your gaze shifted to the plate of food. "can you get another plate for me?"

although eren didn't answer, the sound of plates clinking as he reached for another plate, and the closing of a cabinet told you he complied. he placed it beside the other plate, sliding two pancakes onto it, including the almost burnt one. "two pancakes on your plate?"

and you nodded your head, "no bacon." you scraped some of the eggs onto eren's plate and scraped the remainder onto yours— you weren't too hungry, but you wanted to eat with him, so you made yourself a little too. "so can we go?"

eren's eyes followed you to the sink, where you placed the pan down, the steam rising from the water hitting the hot pan much like the steam rising from the eggs. you came back over beside him, hand patting his side lightly to signal him to move over a little so you could open the utensils drawer. his answer was reluctant, but you didn't think it was necessarily because he didn't want to go— you weren't sure what it was. "i guess, what time?"

you grabbed two forks and two spoons, placing them onto each plate and clasping your hands together, in content at not only the two full plates (if you'd consider yours full), but also at the confirmation from eren next to you. "like... seven? i'm gonna leave earlier though... i have some errands to do."

eren raised a brow, but shook you off, as if he just accepted you running around the usual now. he grabbed his plate and you grabbed the syrup before following behind him until both of you were sat at the dining room table. he couldn't help but still question where you were going though. "what errands?"

you repressed yourself from rolling your eyes, sliding the syrup across the glass table until eren's hands were wrapped around it, popping the top open and drizzling the sticky liquid over his pancakes. "i'm just gonna run to the store real quick, we'll meet up at armin's place."

eren once again didn't respond, pushing the syrup back towards you and poking at his pancake.

with a small sigh you slipped your phone out of your pocket and unlocked it, pressing a few buttons until you and armin's messages were open. your fingers danced around the screen until you began typing.

march 29th, 12:34pm

⤷ i might have to come a little later than i wanted to, spend some time with eren

⤷ ok, i'll text them to come earlier!

⤷ tysm, i'll probably come around 5

you placed your phone down on the table face down. you were somewhat surprised by armin's response time, but you were grateful nonetheless. you'd spend a little more time with eren, it wasn't a big of a deal, not even the small feeling of nervousness that came back was a big deal. with how well everything was going you were sure they could deal without your for a few extra hours.

when you looked up, eren's palm was holding his head up, as his other hand cut the pancake in front of him, a small pout on his face. you almost felt bad, if in the back of your head the surprise party didn't linger you probably would have felt bad. you gave a weak smile, and tapped the glass table to catch eren's attention. "eren,"

"hm?"

"happy birthday."

a few hours.

a few hours until eren's party, a few more hours of planning, few more hours of jittery feelings and sneaking around eren.

maybe a few more hours of questions, questions from eren, questions from your friends, questions for your friends.

"armin, pass me that last streamer."

armin took one of the white streamers from the table next to you, placing tape on the tip and you stepped down from the chair you were standing on to grab it. once you taped it your hand swam through all the streamers that were adorning the wall. they had came down from the ceiling, connected to the wall and then came down like a waterfall, a jade green, light green and white patterned across the wall.

"does it look good?" you asked armin, and his hands went to touch the streamers as well while he nod, surprised at how well you pulled off the design. hitch didn't seem to be the only creative one in the friend group.

"of course, of course, it looks really nice, it's creative too."

as you were about to respond, the pop of a balloon made you and armin flinch, both of your necks snapping towards the sound, connie and sasha both standing their frozen, the remnants of a balloon in connie's hand, sasha holding back her laughs.

stepping down from the chair, you sighed, and armin pat your shoulder. "i'll go help them with the balloons, don't worry." he stepped away, heading towards the living room to do just as he said.

you made your way towards the kitchen, deciding to check on the progress in there, mikasa cutting up tomatoes for the guac that niccollo was preparing, her hands moving flawlessly as she chopped away. "want to help?" she asked, not even looking up to see who walked in.

you had nothing better to do, everyone occupied with one or more aspects of the decrorating, so you said a "yeah," and she dropped the knife, placing another tomato down and grabbing an onion and another knife to begin chopping beside you. "how is it going out there?"

"out there" wasn't too far, you looked over your shoulder and armin, sasha, and connie were arranging the balloons, tying them with ribbon and letting some stray ones float. "they're doing good, i think, thanks for helping with the food."

"no worries." she continued to slice at the onion, but something else was itching her, and she couldn't help but ask. "how did you get eren to not follow you here?"

"'was hard, i hung out with him for a little longer, that's why i was late... and i told him i was running errands." you and eren didn't do much when you were with him, yet you still had fun, even though it was something as simple as chilling on the couch and watch television together. like you thought earlier, eren's presence was enough.

mikasa's head shook, scooping up the onions and placing them in the bowl where niccollo was working, squeezing a lime into the mashed avocado. "didn't take you as a liar," she joked. "what time is he coming?"

you shrugged, eyes glancing to niccollo who was mixing together the guac, then trailing to the grocery bag beside it. "probably around seven like i asked, i don't know. can you grab me some big bowls?"

mikasa went to grab a large clear bowl, placing it down beside you gently. "here," she handed you the bowl, a section in the middle for the guacamole.

"do you think he knows we're planning his surprise party?"

"he might have an idea about it." mikasa replied. "but not a big one, the other day he called armin asking why we didn't invite him over."

your hand stuttered, and you almost cut your finger while slicing the fruit in front of you. "what did armin say?" eren didn't question you further after you told him you had went over to study, so your lie couldn't have clashed with whatever armin told him.

she took the knife from your hand, using it to slide the tomatoes you cut off the cutting board and into the guac. you pulled the bag of tortilla chips out of the grocery bag and opened it up, pouring it into the clear bowl.

"armin didn't say much, he just said you had passed by and that it was nothing special."

you let out a sigh of relief, moving the chips around then pushing the board towards niccollo. "nicollo, put the guac in the middle when you're done." another bag, and another bowl that you poured the contents into. "when i got home from your house few days ago he asked me why i went without him and i told you i grabbed some calculus notes."

"that's close enough." she grabbed the bowl of tortilla chips once niccollo put the guac in the middle. "i'm gonna put these on the table."

"and i'll put the rest of the snacks in the bowls, you can help out there." niccollo told you, pulling the bowls away from you and ushering you out before you could say anything, his hands on your shoulders moving you to the entrance of the kitchen. you didn't question him, just taking your leave and heading towards the living room, wanting to see how the others were doing.

the decorations were coming together, balloons creating an arch around the television set, "happy birthday" letters connecting from one end of the wall to the other, hanging over armin and connie's head, and more balloons connecting together on either side of sasha and jean who were sat sitting on the couch.

it was beautiful, the greens, silvers, and whites all complimenting each other, from the table cover, to the streamers on the dining room wall, it was all a pretty sight to look at and you were filled with bliss, bliss at the fact that it was working out like you had planned, at the fact that your friends and you could put everything together so well.

"guys, you guys did so good!" you sounded cheery, and they caught on small smiles appearing on their faces at the joy on your face, it seemed seeing you happy made them happy too, just like sasha and niccollo. "i really love it!"

"see, i told you she'd like the arch." armin commented, hand pointing to the arch of balloons. "they wanted to just put balloons everywhere, i thought you'd like it if we made it more uniformed." and he was right, you did love it, it was more than you asked for, more than you expected them to do.

"yeah, no, i love this." you had pulled out your phone, preparing to take a picture but stopping for a moment, looking at the time. it was almost seven, and so you decided to text eren instead.

march 30th, 6:43pm

⤷ you can be on your way soon!!!

"i told him he could be on his way like an hour ago." a red solo cup was in your hand, and you were standing with hitch in the kitchen, her sipping at her own drink. you were getting fidgety, almost an hour had passed and eren wasn't here yet, nor did he respond to the last text you sent him. maybe he forgot?

"maybe he got caught in traffic." hitch shrugged, "i don't think he forgot." it was like she read your mind, but it didn't help to calm you— traffic didn't even sound plausible with how near you and eren's apartment was to armin and mikasa.

"traffic? seriously, we don't live far from here, he would've made it sooner than now."

armin frowned at hitch, "maybe not traffic, but maybe he's still getting ready, you know eren's always a little late places... just relax until he gets here." his hand reached out, palm up. "want me to refill your drink for you?" you knew he was just trying to ease you up, get something in your system and relax you until eren would arrive.

you were about to hand him your drink but then your phone vibrated, the light flashing from beside hitch and she picked it up for you, eyes moving back and forth while your screen illuminated her face, and you tried reaching for it but where she sat on the counter top she could easily pull it out of your reach, and that's exactly what she did, your hand stretching for your phone while she read it from where her arm was above her.

"hitch!"

"it's eren, he says he's here."

your eyes practically popped out your head, and you turned to armin, placing your cup in his hand, the liquid threatening to spill over the edge with how fast you shoved the flimsy cup in his grip, almost crushing it. "be right back!" you said loud, speeding past your friends to leave the kitchen and get to front door.

your heart pounded in your chest as you exit the kitchen, butterflies filling your stomach. you spun around the bodies of people (which was more than you expected hitch to invite) rushing to get to the front door, to get to see eren, to get to show him everything you all put together.

you almost stumbled over your own feet, apologizing to whoever you bumped into but not daring to look back, because the door was right there, and another burst of restlessness filled you when your fingers wrapped around the cold metal knob of the front door, the air that hit you raised goosebumps on your legs when you swung that same door open.

you rushed out the door and down the steps, almost missing one in the process, but it didn't matter because there he was, those same wispy hairs you knew he never tried to tame even on his birthday still framing his face, blue green eyes steadying on your figure running towards him, and plump lips breaking out into a smile that you never knew you'd be so happy to see.

eren, he was here, after you didn't know how long, and you were happy, you were so happy you didn't stop running, crashing into him and causing him to stumble back, but god the small chuckle, the feeling of his smile against the top of your head was so beautiful, so relieving.

"eren," you pant out, your breath fanning his arm, and you pressed yourself against him more, like he'd disappear if you let go. "eren, you're here."

"i'm here." your eyes squeezed shut at his words, at the feeling of his arms wrapping around your shoulders, letting you get as close to him as possible, your legs in between his and your head pressed against his chest like earlier in the kitchen. you never thought you would be so happy to see a person, and even though all the two of you ever did was hug it felt so new and so fresh.

you felt like you had been hugging him for only seconds, but when he began pulling you off you didn't complain because there was much more to show him, so many more things for you to be nervous to show him, but wanted to show him anyways because only god knows how long these things took to make for him.

"what took you so long?"

he scratched the back of his neck, tongue sliding over his lip as he grabbed your hand, the two of you slowly walking back towards the apartment. "i had fell asleep, sorry, i'm here now— i couldn't have missed much?"

"jesus, eren, i thought you forgot!" you cursed his stupidity. seriously? falling asleep moments before his party? he had you worried he was gonna miss it, and he could've.

"no, no, i didn't forget. being home alone is boring you know, so i took a nap." you looked down. you did leave him alone for a couple hours, on his birthday at that, but what he would see in a couple minutes would hopefully make up for it.

his eyes raked over you. "you look nice... and to think it's my birthday." he smiled, and although the moon was out, little light being casted on the two of you he didn't fail to notice your attire and compliment you, your hand squeezing his a little more.

"thank you," and you did the same, letting your eyes look over him, quirking a brow at his appearance; a sweatshirt that was covering the undershirt that was peeking through his collar, and some simple jeans— so much for it being his day. "yeah, you didn't dress up much, it's your birthday eren."

he began to swing your hands back and forth, not seeming to care much for your comment. "i woke up late, i just threw something on."

a silence washed over the two of you as you made your way up the steps, and you almost didn't want to go inside. you wanted to talk to eren a little longer, have it be just you and him a little longer because you knew he wouldn't be at your side for too long once you returned to the house.

"ready to go inside?' you asked as if he genuinely had a choice, but for some reason you still felt a bit sad when he nod his head, pulling you to the door with him.

your hand twisted the knob of the door, and if only you could've watched eren's face once you swung it open. a roar of "happy birthday, eren!" flooded both of your ears and eren quickly became the main attraction. he was the main attraction, it was his day, his birthday.

his mouth dropped open, eyes widening and eyebrows coming up in shock— no in awe, and it was no longer a "small" birthday party that he had in his head, there were lots of people he could recognize, lot of eyes on him, and pretty shades of green dusting the room. you felt his hand squeeze yours in return, and he almost didn't even notice his closest friends crowding around him.

"eren! happy birthday!" hitch pat his shoulder, beckoning for him to bend down a little bit, a party hat in her hand that matched the one on top of her head. his gaze broke from the room around him to his friends in front of him, and he bent down, hitch snapping the hat onto his head, you giggling at him as he adjusted it, a goofy grin on his face. if it was any other day, he probably would've refused to have such a silly hat on his head.

"yeah, happy birthday." armin said smiling happily to finally see eren, and smiling to not see you worrying anymore about his arrival. mikasa stood beside him saying a small "happy birthday" as well, and eren stepped forward to give both her and armin a hug before stepping back beside you again, his hand never leaving yours as he did so.

"do you like it?" the question was urging you to ask it, and eren looked down at you again, your nail pulling at your lip while you waited his response.

"do i like it?" he pulled you into a hug too, squeezing your shoulder. it was obvious to him, of course he liked it— how could he not? "so you planned this?"

"we all did."

"who's we all?"

you scanned the room, but it was only you, hitch, armin and mikasa standing in front of eren. "well, the four of us and jean, sasha, and connie too. i don't know where they are though, probably the kitchen."

"i love it, i really do, thank you guys so much."

you felt like a weight had been lifted off of you, like you were free from a burden you had placed onto yourself. everyone told you he would love it, and you knew it too. although, the feeling of eren himself telling you was a relief that never felt so good.

"i'm glad, let's go see the others." so eren's hand that was still intertwined with yours had pulled you along, the other three dispersing to do their own thing. small "happy birthdays" were said to eren as he passed people, and he occasionally stopped to greet someone he knew well properly while you stood back waiting patiently for him. hitch did him justice, most if not all the people he did know, even if you didn't, and now would be a great opportunity to get to know some more people but you chose to stay beside him.

when the two of you had entered the small space of the kitchen, sasha was standing with a plate next to connie. "eren, happy birthday!" her voice was muffled by her food, her covering her mouth as she spoke, but you could tell she was elated to see him with the way she perked up at the sight of him.

"yeah, happy birthday dude." connie blew a party horn in eren's face obnoxiously, and eren's face scrunched up, although you knew he didn't mind, as matter of fact probably the complete opposite. he was almost too happy and you could see it in his walk and his face.

"thanks guys, and thank you for planning this all out."

"thank _____ for getting us off our asses and forcing us to plan this shit." connie quipped, and you would've knocked his head straight if you didn't catch the jest to his tone that made you and eren chuckle.

he looked down at you after connie had pinned the party on you again, "so it was you who planned all of this basically. that's why you kept leaving?"

"yeah, i was planning shit out with them— i wasn't trying to leave you or anything." getting that off your chest felt equally as good, and it seemed that eren felt relieved as well, apart from the way his grip finally slipped from your hand.

"good... good, i love this, you did amazing, i appreciate this a lot." no words were enough to explain how much eren really appreciated you, appreciated everything you were doing for him— so all he could do was hope that you knew. "i'm gonna get a drink and look around, okay?"

"i'll be here." but your reply was short lived. instead of staying with connie and sasha you went to find armin for your drink. you needed it to calm the jitters that you were feeling, and you were glad when you caught him chatting with another blonde, who you surprisingly recognized but sadly couldn't recall her name.

"armin, my drink." the red cup still rested between his fingers, and at the sound of your voice he looked up, immediate remorse on his face when he saw yours, then looking down to the cup before passing it your way.

"i'm sorry, i forgot to fill it up." when you looked down into the cup it wasn't full, the liquid from before still swimming in the bottom. it was fine, everyone was occupied, trying to have fun and so you didn't mind, you'd just fill it up on your way to the kitchen, no big deal.

"who's this?" the girl turned to you, eyes bored as she tapped against the cup in her own hand, and armin looked between her and you, perking up. it was a chance to try to socialize, try to make friends, and you tried to take that chance.

"oh! annie, this is _____, she planned this all out, eren's roommate."

"hey!" you gave her a small smile, hand out for her to shake it, and she did, giving your hand a light shake before letting go. she didn't seem too interested in conversation with you, her blue eyes flitting over to armin every once in a while, while her feet kept turned towards him. "i think i've seen you around before, you look familiar."

she looked you over, studying your appearance before coming to the conclusion that she has seen you before. she put her cup to her lips, drinking before responding. "i'm here sometimes— armin's house."

armin next to you let out a nervous laugh, cracking his knuckles while listening to you and annie's conversation. "yeah, you've probably seen her around before, she comes here often."

you shrug, not sure if you had ever seen her at armin's place. although her face was familiar you couldn't really recall who she was, and you blamed your lack of socialization. you'd keep her name in your head, hopefully for future reference. "probably, but nice to meet you anyways."

armin waved, and you waved back before heading back over to the small crowds of people to get to the dining room, a selection of drinks splayed out for anyone to come and grab as they please.

hitch was there, seated on a table chair she pulled out, sliding a soda can towards her to pour in the alcohol that was already in her cup. she only noticed you when you walked over to stand right in front of her, her eyes gazing up at you before averting her attention back to her drink. "couldn't have asked sash to get some better booze?"

your own arms reached over to do just as her, a can of soda in one hand that you poured inside what was already in your cup— it upped the alcohol, and overall tasted funner. "don't think it was sasha who got it." you replied, taking small sips of your drink as if you were taste testing it.

"hm," hitch did the same, taking a swig of her drink before twirling it in the cup, setting it back down on the table in front of her. "i told you he'd come, and that he'd like it. you were stressing for nothing."

"yeah... i guess," you went to grab the chair diagonal from hitch, pulling it out from behind you and plopping yourself down in it. "where is he anyways?"

hitch looked ahead of you as if she was genuinely trying to find eren before looking back to you with a shrug of her shoulders. "not sure, he was over here a couple minutes ago with jean getting a drink." you missed him by a hair, and your shoulder slumped a little lower.

"he was over here?"

"why, you looking for him?"

you sunk down in your seat a bit, your feet tapping together while your fingers pattered against the plastic of your cup. you weren't looking for him per say, you just wanted to be with him, just have another moment with him, see him happy and see him enjoying himself in what you created.

"eren has got you fucked up— you need to, and i cannot stress this enough;" she pointed her cup at you, "just tell him." hitch let out an exaggerated sigh, her scooting down in her seat as well as she drank her drink again.

"hitch, please, i don't think you've understand how many times i have been told that this week, and nobody seems to understand how not easy that is." and you were right, it wasn't easy, there was too many problems that could arise if it backfired. you'd rather pine for eren for the rest of your life if it meant that things would stay natural between the two of you— if what you had going on now stayed.

"or you're just making it harder than it has to be." she had a challenging look in her eyes, placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her knuckles, a small smirk on her lips.

you gave a her a questioning glance, not looking too long and shifting in your seat. maybe it was harder than it had to be. maybe it was your nerves telling you otherwise, maybe you were following the pounding of your heart and the butterflies in your stomach.

hitch looked you over, shaking her head with a small giggle before pushing her head from under her and standing up with her beverage. "i'm gonna go tell connie to change whatever the fuck is playing, i'll catch you later." and she walked around you, body disappearing into the bodies of people leaving you by yourself.

but not for long, a hand on your shoulder making you jump, you turning around and seeing eren, towering above you, a slight smile on his face. speak of the devil, it was the man of the hour— just who you wanted to see, and who you were happy to see. "hey."

"hey," you stand up almost too fast, pushing in the chair and standing in front of him. he steps back to give you some space, almost caught off guard with how fast you stood up. "what's up?"

he leans into your ear, making sure you're able to hear him over the sound of the music and the chatter of the people around the two of you. "want to go outside for a little bit? it's kind of too many people, just wanna get some air." the faint smell of alcohol is present on his breath, and it reminds you to grab your cup, nodding your head and taking his hand in yours— where it felt snug and right, just like it did earlier.

the two of you make your way out the house, and the air did feel good, it didn't feel stuffy, it wasn't loud, it was calm and quiet, the breeze of the night only chilling you slightly, but eren next to you made you dead to the breeze.

he walks forward, only a few steps and you follow along, until both of you are leaning against the railing that kept you from falling a couple feet or so, cup dangling off the edge in your hands, and the moon so bright in the sky it only felt a couple feet away.

"i feel like you don't know how much i actually love this." he starts, and when you look at him he's still staring at head, the glint of the moon making his eyes look ethereal, illuminating them in only the best way possible. "how much i appreciate this, this party, everything."

"i know, eren," a grin can't help but form on your face, and you could hear the words come from his mouth again and again. the feeling that his appreciation sent through you gave a sense of pleasure, a satisfaction and it brought a form of closure. "i know."

it's just quiet, it's nobody talking and it's just the two of you. you're allowed to relish in eren being beside you because that's what you wanted from the moment he arrived, you wanted to be with him, and so despite the two of you not talking, he was enough. the sound of his light breathing was enough, the heat radiating off of him was enough, the sight of him was enough.

yet, you break the silence.

"do you wanna see what i have for you?"

he finally looks your way, and his eyebrows are knit, pink lips only slightly parted, and your eyes can't help but flit down to them before coming back up to his eyes. you weren't sure if he missed your quick glance or not, his lips closing. "there's more."

"if i can recall, you get presents on your birthday right?"

this time, you're the one to grab his hand, and his fits in yours like a puzzle, and you're the one to pull him down the steps that you had ran down earlier, him being the one to finally trail behind you.

you walked him to your car, your hand digging in the pocket of your coat that albeit the warmth of the party you had managed to keep on, and you grabbed your keys, your thumb pressing down onto the black button that made the lights in the vehicle flare up. you place your solo cup on the roof of the car and your hand grasps the car doors for the backseat, opening it up and being greeted by leather seats and a small white bag.

you almost couldn't fathom that this small white bag only days ago you cared so much about, that the ribbon that your hands were holding onto mattered so much to you, the small lettering on the front mattered so much to you— and only moments ago eren couldn't express his enthusiasm for the party you planned for him.

all your friends who had repeatedly told you not to stress were right— if eren loved a stupid dirt cake, and a little embroidered letter, he'd love anything you gave him from a small paper bag or a couple of snacks to a watch, to a party.

you moved aside and eren moved forth, making himself comfortable on the seat of your car while you placed the bag in his lap, and he looked so adorable; the party hat that was splashed with color leaning a little too far right, and the cheerful smile on his face as he moved the tissue aside and peeked into the bag closely, before his head shot up and him beaming at you instead.

even though he didn't even see what was in the bag yet, his hand came to his chest dramatically, acting way too surprised for someone who wasn't even sure what you got him yet. "for me?"

you rolled your eyes gesturing to the present. you wanted him to see it so you ushered him on. "yes for you, now hurry up and open it, it's kind of cold out here." the cold was nothing to you today, your coat kept you warm enough.

he wasted no time complying, pulling out the small black box, a pretty suede under his fingers as he pulled off the lid, and his eyes shone as he did, another look of awe gracing his face as he stared at the contents of the box. you were so giddy, seeing the look of surprised wash over his face, that same feeling of satisfaction you received earlier came over you again and you were practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you watched eren.

it was a watch, the face of it a black and white photo of him and his mom when he was young, and you were to thank mikasa for finding the photo for you. the band was a matte black and the metal detailing the accessory a pretty gold that matched the key necklace that hung around his neck almost at all times. you hoped that the watch would become like the necklace— something he wore almost at all times.

he looked up at you, and although he was sitting down he pulled you forth by your wrist. the action caught you by surprise, his free hand holding your waist and his head buried into your stomach, and almost by default did your hand go up to play with the free strands of his hair, smoothing over his head, playing with his half assed bun and carding your fingers through his soft locks.

your heart was melting, you could almost cry— and you never knew that seeing the joy and admiration of you on someone else's face would mean so much to you, you never knew that making someone else happy was something that made you happy, especially when it came to someone like eren. it was the same expression that your friends had when they saw how happy you were when you all came together to complete another task for the event, and now you could feel what they felt, except tenfold.

so you let him press his head against you while he examined the watch, you were fine with staring over the roof of your car into the distance of the night, staring at what would've looked like nothing to you if eren wasn't in your arms.

it was all something, the tall trees whereas the green leaves on them was only visible because of the moonlight, the arrangement of cars spanning down the parking lot ahead, little things you wouldn't have thought twice about. little things that somehow eren made you recognize, eren made you hyper aware of how the little things mattered, in the worst sense at first, having you constantly stress over the little things. but now you were somewhat happy you took your time on these little things, because the little things that might seem like nothing to you, could mean the whole world to someone else.

you realize that eren would have been happy with anything that you wanted to give to him, no matter how little or big not because of what it is, but because of who you are and the thought that went into it.

you almost missed the small blabbers of "thank you" that left his mouth, his lips moving against the fabric of your dress, and your coat brushing the tip of his nose. it's only when he stood up and said one more to your face that you realized he had been talking to you the whole time.

the bag wasn't in his lap no more, and neither was the box, the watch now around his wrist, and it suited him perfectly, it complimented him so nicely, although it was a simple watch (which to be fair, it was the exact opposite of simple to him). the only thing still the same was his arm around your waist, and the soft expression on his features.

it wasn't that hard, it couldn't have been that hard— not now, when you finally realize that eren is eren, and he'll be happy with you no matter what, no matter what you give him, no matte what you say to him.

"eren?"

"yeah?"

"i like you."

if this was a few hours ago, you would've choked up on your words, your heart would be racing and your hands would be a clammy mess. hours ago you would've refused ever confessing to him, it wouldn't have even crossed your mind once.

hours ago, you didn't know eren as well as you thought you did because you were too busy worrying about the what-ifs, worrying about the little things that he would've loved anyways.

his expression didn't change, and yours didn't either because you were at peace, and your shoulders felt lighter just because he now knew.

"______?"

"yeah?"

"i like you too."

that was all that it took.

that was all it took for both of your hands to cup at his face, and pull him closer while you stood on your tippy toes, foreheads touching, then nose, then lips. all it took for you to feel so loved and complete, all by the feeling of his lips against yours, the synchronization of them moving together made you giddy again, made you happy.

your noses bumped but it was okay, your teeth clinked but it was okay, you both giggled into the kiss, not being able to shake the overwhelming feel of it that somehow still kept you feeling at peace.

he pulled you impossibly close, and he kissed you until he couldn't breathe anymore, taking his time sucking on your lips, savoring every taste of your skin and the way your lips felt. the kiss alone was the cherry to his birthday— scratch that, you were the cherry to his birthday.

and when the two of you finally pulled away for air your head fell forward onto his chest almost immediately, his head resting overtop of yours and keeping you safe in his arms, safe against him. "happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday." you were the one to blabber now, and you weren't sure if it was a distraction for the tears that threatened to spill or not.

he pressed a chaste kiss to the top of your head, swaying both of your bodies back and forth gently, swiftly, and kindly. he didn't respond, but he didn't need to respond, his love being thrown back at you just by the way he held you.

you could've stayed in this position forever, you really could've but the sound of armin calling for eren from the top of the steps is what broke the moment for the two of you, and what made matters worse (or better) was hitch standing right behind him, a leer on her face that made you let out a sigh.

"hey! eren!" armin almost doesn't realize that it's you right below eren, but when his gaze darts down to you for a millisecond he has to do a double take that causes him to break out in a smile, turning to hitch for a confirmation which she gives with a nod. "we were looking for you, we have to cut the cake!"

eren looks down at you and reluctantly lets you go, shutting your car door for you and grabbing your cup. "you can go back inside we're coming." he announces, and even then armin and hitch don't move, both leaning against the railing like you and eren earlier, as if something would come next between you and eren— you had to chuckle at this.

when you and eren began walking hand in hand, for the first time you didn't worry about what he'd think of the cake, you didn't worry about if he'd like the color, or the taste, or the shape, or anything for that matter, because you knew eren would appreciate anything you'd throw his way.

"hey,"

he looks down at you, and the calm look on his face almost mirrors yours. "yeah?"

"happy birthday, eren."

#eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren yeager #eren yeager fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren fluff #eren aot #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #snk #eren jaeger x you #eren yeager x you #eren jaeger x y/n #eren yeager x y/n #eren x you #eren x y/n

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aro-is-gay-af · 3 years

Text

The Midnight of Despair | Volturi Kings x fem!reader

As you all can see, I got carried away just a little with this one. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm planning at least part two, since this part got soooo long.

Anyway!

I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors, as well as any confusion with syntax. English isn't my native but I always try my best! Constructive criticism is always welcomed.

Please, pay attention to the warnings. If you are uncomfortable with any of the topics, simply do not read.

I pictured here Aro from the films (as Michael Sheen is perfect for this part), Caius from the films (maybe a little bit older) and Marcus from the films but his younger self (maybe 20?). Also, I wrote at one point that [Y/N] has blonde hair and blue eyes but it just helped me with the descriptions. Obviously, you can picture characters according to your wishes.

Warnings: Rape (graphic description!), Depression, PTSD, Swear words, Forced Pregnancy

Word count: 7816 (!)

Summary: [Y/N] and Bella are childhood friends. They were always there for each other. [Y/N] had tough times and struggles with everyday life. Bella faces depression after Edward had left her. [Y/N] tries to get her going and alive. One day [Y/N] is raped and gets pregnant with the rapist. Not long after that it turns out that Edward got himself into the mess with Volturi. [Y/N], even traumatized and in pieces, will not let Bella go without her supervision to Italy. What is going to happen when [Y/N] will stay at Volterra? Is she really predestined to be Kings' mate? Is she going to have her baby or abort the pregnancy? Will the trauma go away or is she going to struggle for a long time?

You thought that the death of your parents was enough to break you. As they say, if you’re not willing to bend, you’ll break. And you did. After all.

Ever since you’ve been born, everything went downhill. You were a weak child and within your first five years of life, you’ve gone through countless surgeries. Something was terribly wrong with your spine and the doctors were worried that you wouldn't be able to move normally.

You got your ‘happily ever after’. After fourteen surgeries and taking more than a dozen medications, you could be considered healthy. It made you remember the better part of your childhood. At this point, you couldn’t even recall constant visits at hospital or ingesting enormous amount of drugs.

What you could recall, was the agony that your mom went through while dying of pancreatic cancer. You tried to help her but there was literally no help available. Sure, chemo did help, but only a little tiniest bit. When someone got this type of cancer, there was only one way to die. It was neither pretty, nor pleasant.

So your mother died when you were sixteen. Your father followed shortly after her. He suffered from severe depression after your mother’s passing, but it was the car accident that got him killed. You were just before your graduation.

You’ve finished school and tried to go on. It wasn’t exactly an easy path to follow. You had the feeling that fate had made you its whore and the devil knows his jokes. Somehow, you got through college. You used the money from your dad's insurance policy entirely for your education. It was the only thing you could do to secure your future.

At 22, you got a job at the same hospital where doctor Cullen worked. You were a nurse on the paediatrics ward, but the hospital in Forks was so small that you often found yourself working with doctor Cullen. He was always kind to you and exuded a fatherly warmth. However, like everyone from Cullen family, he was slightly withdrawn from all conversations and social activities.

You noticed a slight change in his behaviour when your best friend, Bella, started dating with the doctor's youngest son, Edward. Carlisle has been talking to you more and more. The conversations weren't long – more like short exchanges of words, whether about his family’s well-being or any leisure activities both of you devoted yourselves after work. Nevertheless, you started calling each other by the others’ given name.

You met with Bella on average once a week. Sure, you were four years older than her, but the age difference never was a problem. You always got along well, and age had nothing to do with it. With time, you've watched Bella thrive during her relationship with Edward and you've enjoyed her happiness. Your relationship had loosened a little, but you didn't hold it against her. With Forks being so small, you could easily meet Bella on the street or in a shop and talk to her about silly things or this boyfriend of hers. It made her blush furiously every time you brought up the topic, especially if Edward waited nearby.

And then, just like that, something snapped. Of course, you heard about their huge quarrel about god knows what, and that Bella wanted to make herself scarce immediately. Charlie called you that night if , by any chance, you could talk some sense into her. Bella not once picked up her phone and then she got her stupid ass into the hospital. And magically reconciled with Edward. That’s when you started to be suspicious. Something wasn’t right about this situation, at all, but you let it be.

Time passed and even though you liked Carlisle as a colleague, you became gradually suspicious about him and his family. Things that you noticed were little, almost insignificant, but something told you that there’s more than meets the eye. Bella herself began to limit contact with you, mainly due to her lack of time for Edward. But when you did get a chance to meet and talk, the subject of Edward still came to the surface.

You tried to understand your friend, while not understanding her at all. You also were in love once but your mother's illness and then your father's death took too much of a toll on you, to experience your first love in such an intense way. It was incomprehensible to you, how Bella could lose her head so much for this boy. And yet you tried, tried to be there when Bella needed you the most. Simply because you were a good friend and also because you needed a friend.

You were left alone, out in this world, with no one to care about and no one to love. Only Bella, as present and, most importantly, alive person, connected you with your childhood and good memories from that time. She was the only one left. You considered her your family and you didn’t want to lose her too. Not after all you’ve been through.

At the day of her birthday, you saw her quickly after her school. You gave her a small gift and you both agreed to meet a day later because Edward's family had invited her to stay at their place. After that birthday, everything changed. The next day Bella went missing. You went to her house exactly as agreed and Charlie said she had been gone for a few hours.

When Bella was found later that evening by Sam, Charlie's colleague, everything became frighteningly clear. The Cullens had moved out of town. Apparently, Carlisle had gotten a lucrative job somewhere else. That didn't surprise you, he was a really great doctor. But how could he not mention a word of it to you? Not that you were so close to him but you considered him a good comrade of yours and moving out of town like this, without a word… It seemed extremely strange to you.

The months that followed were very similar. Bella fell into a deep depression and apathy. You came to visit her, but during these visits it was mainly you who talked. You talked about work, about your next qualification course and about the anniversary of your mum's death. Bella mostly remained silent. Charlie confirmed that, yes, she did go to school, but apart from that, she sat in her room all day and stared at the window.

You knew from Charlie that she was slowly trying to reconnect with her friends. And that she was spending a lot of time with that boy from the reservation. You were happy because it meant that your friend was slowly coming back to life. Maybe not back to normal, not yet, but at least she was trying. And you were trying too. To be a good friend, a good sister to her.

You started talking more during your visits at her house. Unlike before, the subject of Edward didn't exist. It was as if he had never existed. So you did not mention him at all. Bella was healing, slowly, just as you were, when both of your parents died. She was there for you, even if you could only talk to her on the phone because, at that time, she permanently lived with Renee.

For the first time in several months, you hoped that things would somehow work out. In your life, the moments when you were truly happy never lasted long. It was the same this time. One day, you went to Port Angeles to buy new clothes for work. Yours were still from your university days, worn out, but not so long ago you were short of money and preferred to spend it on other things rather than buying new clothes.

By the time you got back to your car it was pretty late. The car park was deserted. On your way to the car, a man accosted you and, before you knew it, he had hit you on the head with something heavy. When you woke up, you were in a squalid alley. The man was pressing you against a wall with all his strength. You only realised what he was going to do, when you felt a cool breeze brush against your bare legs. Your trousers and underwear were almost at your ankles. You started to squirm, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. You heard his quiet giggle next to your ear.

"Don't resist angel, I’ll be quick," he whispered in your ear, pawing at your breasts with his left hand. You felt sick to your stomach. He had hideous breath, as if he had been drinking for three days, then puked and drank again. You started to jerk harder, to pull away, but it only caused you pain. He held tight, pushing against you with his whole body and whispering disgusting things under his breath. When he finally entered you, he tugged hard on your hair. He made no effort to cover your mouth because you didn't even try to scream. You were out of breath, unable to say a word. You were afraid that he would kill you. You wanted him to go away so that the pain would end and you could finally go home.

When he finished, he let you go and just walked away. You stood there, half naked, frozen and shaken, for god knows how long. You were unable to move. When you felt his semen running down your leg, you finally managed to vomit. Your cheek was bruised and scratched from how hard he pressed you against the rough wall. You wanted to go home, but you didn't have the strength to get up from the street.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally got up. You got dressed and walked to your car. Everything hurt. You didn't want to, but you knew, you had to go to the hospital. You could not leave it like that. He had already hurt you, but what about the others? You couldn't let that happen. All the way to the hospital in Port Angeles your hands were trembling. Returning to that memory, you didn't even remember how you got to the ER.

At the hospital, they took care of you properly. They called the police. Two female doctors were there for a medical examination. The nurses were very nice. You tried to put on a good face. You've thought about how your sexual experiences has been so far. Your first sex, like most people's, was terrible. Your boyfriend was two years older, you were 17 and it all went wrong. You were in pain. He didn't seem too happy either. Up until you graduated from high school, you tried to make it work somehow, but there were never any fireworks. It wasn't until college that you discovered the good side of sex.

However, you never had sex with someone you loved more than life. You haven't met anyone like that. And you were sure that sex with that person would be unique and exceptional. Until now, of course. Lying on a hospital bed, you felt exploited. Abused. Filthy. Humiliated. How can one do something like that to another person? The nurse asked if someone could come and pick you up, and you didn't have much of a choice. You called Bella. While she was on her way to the hospital, you let the police officers question you. You mechanically slurred the words as if it wasn't about you at all. As if it wasn’t you that had been raped.

As soon as you saw Bella, you were no longer able to pretend that nothing had happened. You were sobbing and she hugged you tight, telling you that he would pay for it. You weren't so sure about that. You wanted to be home as soon as possible, so you went back to Forks. Bella said nothing while driving because there was nothing that could be said. In the shower, you scrubbed yourself so hard with the pumice that you thought you had taken off all your skin. To your absolute disgust, you could still feel his touch on you. You could hear him whisper against your ear and you could smell his hideous breath.

A week has passed. Bella texted you every day, and you were able to hang out almost every other day. She was a good sister, a great friend. She didn't want to leave you alone in this. Despite being offered leave, you went to work. You didn't want to keep thinking about what happened. Each time, after taking a bath, you were unable to look in the mirror. On the first day, right after scrubbing, you decided to take a look. You had bruises on your stomach, thighs, buttocks and breasts. Your forearms were scraped, your cheek was scratched and bruised. The worst of it was that you had been bleeding for days. The gynaecologist said, it was due to too much force, and the fact that you actively resisted for a while.

You were trying to get back to normal. You went to work, you were seeing Bella and taking your course. But no one could touch you. You didn't even shake hands to say hello. You didn't care at all, you couldn’t endure a touch anymore. Not in any way. You didn't get your period, but the doctor said it could happen. It was a shock to the body and a lot of pain to bear. Also, you bled for almost a week after the rape.

You started to be afraid to go out alone. When in a shop or at work, if anyone approached you from behind, you started panicking and hyperventilating. You couldn’t walk ordinarily on the street. You looked behind every two or three minutes to assure yourself that nobody was following you. Your hands trembled while driving the car or making the tea. Your eyes were starting to water as soon as someone even tried to touch you. You had nightmares and you started losing your mind because of this.

When your period did not come in the following month, you began to worry. Surely you couldn't get pregnant with this... monster. Not you. Of course you have checked. You would not be able to live in such ignorance. It turned out that yes, you indeed were pregnant. When the doctor confirmed it, you fainted. Not you, not like that. You didn't even think you'd ever be a mum. Let alone like this. You hated your body even more and the fact that it had betrayed you in such a villainous way.

You knew this path led to madness. You were in an even worse mental condition, than after losing your mum; than after dad died in the accident. You have shed countless tears. You didn't want to abort this pregnancy, and at the same time you wanted it with all your heart. If only you were able to defend yourself. Break away from him and run as far away as possible. It would never have happened. But you were weak and didn't even have the energy to scream. Would it have made any difference though?

You were constantly beating yourself up with thoughts about whether you should keep the baby, when something completely bizarre happened. Jacob called you that he had to rescue Bella after jumping off a cliff. Annoyed, you got in your car and drove up to the Swans' house. Bella's car wasn't there, so you waited patiently in yours. When they arrived, you were boiling with rage.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!” you shouted, as you got out of the car.

Bella rolled her eyes. She looked miserable. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked through. She smiled weakly towards you.

“It was just for fun, you know” she muttered, as you hugged her tightly. It was your first closer contact since…

“It was just for sport,” she tried again.

You snorted in annoyance.

“Yeah, sure, get inside before you get sick.”

As you both stepped onto the porch, Jacob unexpectedly grabbed Bella's wrist. They shared a look.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes. You can go now, Jake,” she muttered, trying to disentangle herself from his grasp.

You smiled weakly at him, while Bella was looking for her keys.

“Cool, I'll take care of her until Charlie gets back. Thanks for saving her stupid ass,” you said. Jacob smiled amused, but still seemed slightly tense.

“No problem. Always at your service,” he joked. “Well... See ya around,” he said goodbye and walked away to his car.

You walked into the house with Bella.

“What were you thinking? You could have died” you muttered under your breath, stripping off your jacket.

“Well...actually I wasn't thinking, like, at all” Bella admitted, smiling apologetically at you.

“Next time think about Charlie,” you said, hugging her once more. Your body screamed that you shouldn't do that, but you were glad that Bella was okay.

While Bella changed into dry clothes, you made hot tea for both of you. Someone knocked on the door. The knocking was not from the front, but from the courtyard. You walked slowly to the door and opened it. Edward's sister, Alice, stood in front of you. You wouldn't have known what she looked like, if Bella hadn't shown you pictures of her. But other than that, you knew quite a bit about her, because when Bella was still with Edward, she couldn’t kept her mouth shut about Alice.

“Hi. Can I come in?” she asked politely. She tried to look normal, but there was something in her behaviour that made you nervous. You were about to reply, when Bella appeared in the kitchen.

“Alice!” she squealed, throwing herself around the brunette's neck. After a moment, she pulled away and looked at Alice in disbelief. "Are you really here? Or am I just dreaming this?" asked Bella.

It was your turn to roll the eyes.

“Of course she’s here” you said, now slightly annoyed. “Don’t be bothered by me, please, proceed to whatever you wanted to say.”

Your sarcastic tone was not intended, but justified. You were slowly beginning to get fed up with this family's games. First they move out and turn Bella's life upside down, and now the big comeback? Something's not right here. Besides, at that moment, you weren't the right person to play with. You had enough problems of your own and your life was messed up enough. What you didn't know at that moment, was that everything was about to change fundamentally very soon.

Alice took no notice of you.

"Bella, listen. Edward thinks you committed suicide. He told me that he doesn't want to live either, so he is on his way to the Volturi to ask them for an execution."

You had no idea what she was talking about. Bella was terrified, and you didn't know what was going on here.

"What, who the fuck are Volturi? Did Edward get involved with some cult? Also, how did he know Bella killed herself?" you asked, not understanding anything of what Alice was talking about earlier.

"We have to go to Italy, Bella,” she ignored you once more. “If they refuse him, I'm not sure what he'll do" as Alice spoke, Bella began to gather herself quickly to leave.

You grabbed her hand.

"And where do you think you are going?" you asked in disbelief. Bella looked at you apologetically.

"Y/N, I have to go. They're going to murder him. Just the fact that I'm alive will convince him."

You snorted in disbelief.

"You're dead serious? And can't you call him and tell him it's a misunderstanding? Besides, Bella, this guy ghosted you. He left you here, alone, with not one explanation and you want to fly to the other side of the world to save this dumb ass?" you asked, trying to take your mind off this ludicrous circumstance.

“Oh my god, we’ll take her with us if she’s not going to back down” said Alice in exasperation.

“And to your kind information, I won't back down. Your douchebag brother and the rest of your family turned her adrift. I was the one who pulled her out of her depression, and I will not let the exact same thing happen again because of any of you,”you hissed out in anger. You saw something in Alice's eyes that you considered to be admiration.

You looked at Bella expectantly.

“Y/N, I still love him. I cannot let this go” Bella whispered and you felt as your chest tightened. “Please…”

You heaved a heavy sigh.

“Okey, but I’m coming with you,” you decided and noticed that Alice's eyes were momentarily clouded with mist. You had no idea what was going on here, but you were sure that this whole affair with the Volturi, whoever the hell they were, didn't sound good.

After a few seconds, Alice looked at Bella, then at you and back at Bella.

“Get your coats, we have to go now,” she said.

“But Alice...” protested Bella.

“There's no time for that. We'll explain everything to her on the way. If we start now, we won't get out of here until noon” she muttered exasperatedly, walking out of the house. You looked at Bella.

“Bells, what's this all about?” you asked, and she just sighed quietly. You both quickly got your shoes on.

“We'll tell you on the plane but I'm afraid the Volturi won't like that a lot,” she said with worried expression on her face.

When you were at the airport waiting for a plane, you had countless questions in your head. Why the fuck Edward was pulling such nonsense? Why to be so dramatic about thing that didn’t even happen? Did this idiot really get involved in some sort of cult? And why was his sister so concerned about it that she decided to tell you ‘everything’, whatever needed to be said? However, the question that kept you wondering was who were the mysterious Volturi and what could they possibly resent about you?

One thing you were sure of. There hadn't been a moment since the sexual assault when you hadn't thought about it. And now your thoughts were occupied by the mysterious Volturi and you immensely wanted to find out what it was really all about.

⋎⋎⋎

On a plane ride, you found out that vampires are no fairy tales and your best friend was in love with one. It was a wild thought but, as soon as Alice started taking, you knew it wasn’t a joke. You were given so much information at once that you were unable to respond to anything as Alice finished her long monologue. You had a drink of water, although at that moment you very much regretted not being able to drink whisky.

“Okey, lets say I get most of this…” you said with a low voice, trying to be careful with what you’re saying. “But can you tell me who are Volturi and why would they want to decapitate Edward?” you asked, looking sideways, afraid that someone might hear.

Alice let out a sigh.

“The Volturi are the equivalent of the justice system in our world. They are the ones who created the laws that help us hide from the world, and they are the ones who enforce them. They consider themselves… sort of royalty, as their leaders – Aro, Caius and Marcus – are over three thousand years old.”

If you were to be honest, you were not very good at processing this information. Three thousand years? The first thought that popped into your mind was that they must be immensely lonely. You were sure you wouldn't want to live so many years without having anyone worthy by your side. Later, Alice quickly summarised all the laws that every vampire must obey. They weren't complicated, but when you thought about it a little longer, some of them weren't so easy to follow.

“I don't want to whine, or come off as ungrateful or anything like that, but... didn't you just break the law? By telling me about you?” you asked cautiously, not knowing if what you were saying was right.

Alice sighed again, this time heavier than before.

“It’s complicated” she said succinctly, which interested Bella, who was eating some kind of sandwich.

“This vision of yours was about [Y/N]?” she asked Alice curiously. Alice merely nodded. When Alice told you about her gift, and this was at the very beginning of the story, you found it hard to believe. It wasn’t so unbelievable now.

"Eat something," Alice said to you. "It's good for the baby" she added after a moment, seeing you hesitate. You swallowed heavily, as you suddenly felt sick. The memories of that evening came back.

Alice smiled softly, as if knowing exactly what you were thinking about. And this was supposed to be Edward's gift.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, and your eyes almost fell out.

"Can you predict that?" you asked in disbelief. She and Bella both smiled. Alice nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, sure. I can't predict if the baby... you know, if it will be born, however, the sex I can tell you.”

You pondered on it, while eating your sandwich. The nausea eased, when you could think of something different than that unlucky evening. Before you knew it, you fell asleep and Alice woke you up when you landed in Italy. As Alice drove the stolen car, you tried to admire the beautiful views of Tuscany outside your window. When you had almost reached Volterra, you thought how wonderful it would be to live here.

⋎⋎⋎

This stupid boyfriend of hers. That was all his fault. Of course, Bella made it at the last minute. You, together with Alice, went to abandon the stolen car somewhere. Although, you had a feeling that you would be returning the exact same way. You tried to reassure yourself. Of course you’ll be returning. Or maybe not? If you were honest, you gave no fucks about it. You had no one who’d wait for you at home, your parents died, you were brutally raped not so long ago, and you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep the baby. Maybe dying today isn’t such a bad idea?

You have reached the square and entered the palace at a very convenient time. The guy who looked like a wardrobe and the other one, much shorter than him and blonde, looked like they were about to murder Edward in this instant. And actually, you felt like you could’ve murdered Edward too. Barely Alice closed the door, you didn't even glance at the two of them, but immediately began to scold Edward for what he had done. To hell with his gift!

“You stupid, immature, irresponsible, reckless and selfish bastard!” you started descriptively, and even Bella was taken aback by your behaviour. Alice raised her eyebrows and two other vampires looked at themselves and then straight at you. Edward had no time for any reply. “If you ever, I repeat, if you ever again do something as childish and irresponsible as expose my best friend to a nervous breakdown and months of depression, I promise you, here and now, that I will decapitate you myself. You're old, and yet a five-year-old child is smarter than you. You utter imbecile,” you hissed with hatred.

Of course, your malice towards him was temporary, but it's been a long time since anyone has angered you like that. The shorter man laughed under his breath, and the other one, who looked like a wardrobe, said:

“Can we keep her? I like the way she’s ruling the roost.”

He fell silent, as a short, pretty blonde woman entered the room. Her face was like a child's, but her eyes... bright red, staring at no one else but you.

“Jane” greeted her Edward. She didn’t even look at him.

“Aro sent me to see what was taking so long” she said. The atmosphere immediately became tense. Edward and Alice seemed to stiffen at the sound of Aro's name. You were curious but not frightened. Not yet.

Jane turned and immediately started walking towards the long corridor. Bella just looked at Edward, and you glanced at Alice.

“Do what she says,” she muttered to you and you both kept pace with the couple in the front.

Needless to say, it was the most stressful and also the most terrifying lift ride you've ever experienced. Not to add the creepy music background. You guessed it was supposed to make you feel better, but instead it made your whole stomach go up to your throat. You were standing right in the middle, next to Bella, holding Alice's hand. The vampire, who looked like a wardrobe, kept looking at you. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. Puking on someone's shoes isn't going to make this situation any better. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Edward smile. Yeah, the situation you’ve found yourself in was extremely funny indeed.

When you reached the main chamber, you didn't know what to look at first. At the vampires standing against every wall? Not very wise of you. At the marble floor? Nothing to be afraid of for now, so no. You probably should have looked at the three thrones in front of you and the vampires that sat on them, but instead, you were interested in the Latin phrase engraved between the columns above you.

You glanced at your company. Edward looked as if he was about to die. Maybe that's what's going to happen? Alice looked very out of sorts, and Bella, well, she was hanging onto Edward's arm and also looked like she was about to leave this world for good. She was unnaturally pale and you though she was going to faint any second. But it never happened. The rest of the room felt extremely comfortable. For a moment, you turned your head towards the boy who called out to Jane. You did not let go of Alice's hand but you did not feel any anxiety. Curiosity prevailed, mainly because you had come to terms with the fact of your imminent death.

“Sister! Sent you out to get one and you bring back two. And two halves,” the boy who’s just called Jane his sister probably was talking about me and Bella. “Such a clever girl,” he praised her like he wasn’t his sister but someone else entirely. You sighed heavily. Maybe they’re also into incest-kind-of-relationships? Who knows. You looked above your head again. There was a short inscription “vita brevis, ars longa” but you knew the rest of it. Latin was obligatory in every medical school.

When the man from the middle throne stood up, it was to him that you directed all your attention. You felt that something about him was... you had no idea how to describe it, but you felt a strange pull towards him. As if some invisible force had power over you.

“What a happy surprise!” he said pointedly, wide smile on his face. “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful?” he said cheerfully, while walking towards Edward. At that exact moment, you realised that you had managed to get yourself into a huge mess. The lair of the vampires. And you were only a weak human. Recently raped. With a baby under your heart.

As soon as the man stepped down from the platform, you were unable to take your eyes off him. His posture, the way he spoke, his demeanour, it all made you feel incredible respect for him. You’ve never felt this secure and calm in your entire life.

“I love a happy ending,” the man said, while he took Edwards’ hand into his. “They’re so rare.”

You were wondering why this man took Edward’s hand in the first place. You did not have to wait long for an explanation.

“Aro can read every thought that I’ve ever had. With one touch” Edward explained to Bella but you were listening too. Very carefully listening. You’ve finally managed to know the name of the vampire. Aro. It suited him well. Although his eyes were a little scary, you were delighted with his charisma and approach to guests. You realised that indeed, they are called the royal family for a reason.

Aro smiled to Edward.

“Her blood appears to you so much,” he whispered, and you had a hard time hearing his words well. Aro’s gaze rested on Bella. “It makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?” he asked Edward, who was feeling more and more uncomfortable. You could tell by the fact that he was practically standing like a statue.

“It is not without difficulty,” muttered Edward from behind his clenched teeth.

You swallowed hard, as Aro turned his gaze to Bella again but he smiled.

“Ah, I can see that” he said pleased, moving away from Edward and focusing all his attention on Bella.

“Although you’re a quite soul-reader yourself, Edward, you cannot read Bella’s thoughts” he made a rather dramatic pause, still staring stubbornly at your best friend. “Fascinating” he said, not hiding his curiosity.

You managed to look elsewhere, than at Aro. The man on the throne to your left seemed unusually agitated. He fixed his gaze on you, as if his life depended on it, yet you did not feel uncomfortable. You were surprised to discover that an invisible force was also drawing you towards him. You almost took a step forward. You tried to remember the man from a few minutes ago. He looked as if he had died in that chair a few centuries ago. And now he seemed genuinely moved.

“Brother” the man spoke to Aro, as he got up from his throne. Indeed, there seemed to be an urgency to the matter, for Aro turned around in surprise. You had the impression that the man from the throne had not risen from it for a long time.

“You knew about this, and you brought her anyway?” you heard Edward's quiet whisper, directed at Alice.

Alice looked at her brother, then at you and finally at a curious Aro.

"It would have happened anyway. Better sooner than later" Alice murmured mysteriously. You still didn't know what it was even about. The third man, the one on your right, did not share his brothers' patience.

"Aro, let's hurry this up, Heidi will be here soon, and we don't want to frighten our guests" he said ominously, grinning like a madman. You were far from solving this riddle, but as soon as you looked at him, you felt the same attraction and enigmatic pulling as towards the other two.

Aro took his brother's hand in his own and you could see that his eyes would have lit up with happiness if they could.

“Ah, my dear Marcus! What an exceptional news!” intoned Aro cheerfully, heading towards you. He was slow in his movements, exactly so that you would not be frightened by him. All his movements were framed by an incredible grace.

“My dear, if I may, what is your name?” he asked, coming closer to you. You were unable to take your eyes off him. It was exactly, as if he had hypnotised you, only the feeling was more addictive. You didn't have to have a gift or to be a vampire to know that. For a split second, you ran out of breath and just stared into his red irises.

“My name is [Y/N]” you said, with your voice trembling, as your throat tightened hard under the intense emotions. You couldn't believe it was really happening. Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe these three beautiful men are just a figment of your imagination? You didn't even want to think about the fact that it might not be true.

Aro smiled encouragingly, while looking at you with all the attention that he’d possibly give you. You felt like nothing more was more important than you to him at that exact moment.

"It is an incredible pleasure to meet you, [Y/N]. I am Aro, but you already know that.”

The smile never left his face and during this brief exchange of words, neither of you took your eyes off the other. You felt that the atmosphere in the room had changed. Aro extended his alabaster hand in an inviting gesture.

“May I, my dear?” he asked you politely.

You gulped. Of course, you wanted to show him that you didn't want to give away their secret. You wanted to show him the strange bond you felt towards him and his brothers. However, there were things you didn't want him to see. You felt deep down inside that this attraction had an explanation and you didn't want him to see... Not that. You’d felt exposed and extremely embarrassed. There was also another issue. His hand. You'd hugged Bella twice since it happened and just now you were holding Alice's hand. You didn't know if, when you touched him, you'd start screaming or crying because you were so afraid of someone else's touch.

Yet, his hand looked so inviting, almost familiar, as if you'd already had the chance to touch it before. Aro himself showed no impatience. He waited, still gazing into your blue irises with his crimson eyes. You extended your hand towards him, at first cautiously, and then with a little more confidence. You took a deep breath, before your fingers made contact. When it happened, you felt as if you had come home after many years of wandering. He closed your hand in his, just as he had done with Edward's. His skin was cold, but he handled you extremely gently. You stared into his eyes as he looked at your thoughts and memories of your whole life. You knew instantly when he was done because he smiled sadly at you. He squeezed your hand gently in his.

"Never again, my love. Never again," he assured passionately, and then he leaned down to place a kiss on your hand. It was so light and as gentle as a breeze on a summer day. You couldn't help but smile.

Aro clapped his hands. He was clearly pleased with what had just happened between you.

"Aro, will you explain to me what's going on? I'm sick of waiting," said the nervous brother, who was the only one with blond hair. Aro smiled widely and turned towards him.

"Ah, Caius, you'll never guess. Finally, after so many years, our mate has honoured us with her presence" he said overjoyed and Caius frowned in awe. You were already able to tell that this did not happen often. Marcus, on the other hand, was sitting on his throne, smiling, still looking in your direction. You didn't miss the glances of the other vampires either. Was it some sort of celebration when Marcus was smiling?

“What does that mean?” it was Bella who snapped that question. Aro immediately appeared by her side. He gently stroked her hair, pulling an unruly strand behind her ear. You felt the sting of jealousy, when he touched her face. You should be the one asking that question and not her.

“Ah, and dear Isabella. What to do with you,” he wondered aloud, as if asking others for advice. “As I have far more important matters to deal with....” he began, looking directly at you. “I’d love to see if you’re an exception to my gift as well,” he whispered to Bella, extending his hand towards her. She didn't have much choice, did she? She took his hand, a little hesitantly, but after a short while Aro moved away.

“Interesting” he muttered. “I see nothing.”

“You already know what you’ll do with her, Aro” said Marcus, his eyes never leaving your person. “Just do it, as we want to know our little angel a bit more.”

You looked at Bella for a moment. She was terrified, not only with her own case, but also with yours. You have already guessed that you are not going anywhere. They would never let you out of their hands. Aro knew perfectly well that you didn't even have anything to go back to. Of course, you had plenty of questions, but you were sure it wasn't about your case now. Just about Bella's situation and what the Cullens had done, or rather what they hadn't done. However, you guessed it, Bella was afraid you wouldn't get out of here alive, and at the same time, you were worried about the exact same thing but about her.

Aro was smiling continuously.

“I have an idea” he said, after a long while. He approached Alice this time. “Would you be so kind, dear, and show me if you saw Bella's transformation in your vision?”

You were smart enough to know that it wasn’t a request. Alice undid her glove and boldly gave Aro her hand. He was absent for a moment and then smiled again. You were impressed by the aura he spread around himself. When he smiled, you felt like smiling too. You still had the impression that it was only a dream, and simultaneously you were sure that it was really happening. Aro's touch was definitely real, you couldn’t forget his cool hands embracing your own.

“Ah, lovely. I know everything now,” he declared. You and Bella probably looked similarly confused, but you weren't the least bit concerned and she was as pale as a sheet.

Aro turned directly to Edward.

“As I have seen Isabella's transformation in Alice's vision, I can let you go with peace of mind, my dear young friends. I trust that a date will be set sooner, rather than later and that I will be able to see for myself, what your mate will be capable of, Edward. As for you, Isabella, you are promising immortal material and I hope your potential will not go to waste," he said, this time speaking directly to Bella.

She was still brave enough to look him in the eye.

“And what with [Y/N]? You never mentioned what will happen to her” she noticed, looking in your direction. You smiled gently to her.

“I’m staying here, Bella” you said calmly, trying to reassure her with your tone of voice that all shall be all right.

You saw pure admiration and joyousness on Aro’s face as you said that.

“Isn’t she remarkable, brothers?” he asked Marcus and Caius, who looked as if they had just received the most beautiful Christmas present.

Bella seemed to be thoroughly outrageous.

“You can’t be serious [Y/N]! You cannot stay here, please, come back with us. You cannot be here while you’re pregnant” she cried, holding your hand and looking at you with disbelief.

What she said made you very uncomfortable and extremely upset.

"Bella, I have nothing to go back to. My parents are dead. You knew that if Alice told me everything, it would have to be resolved somehow," you stated matter-of-factly, squeezing her hand in yours. "I can't go back there, Bells." Your throat tightened with despair as memories of recent events flooded inside your mind. You tried to hold back tears.

"I am a shadow of my former self. I'm afraid to leave the house alone to go shopping or to work. This paranoia is overwhelming me, Bella. I keep turning behind me to see if anyone is following me on the street. I cry at night, knowing that it doesn't change anything. And then there's this unfortunate baby," you sighed helplessly, trying not to burst with tears. "Even if I keep it, I don't want it to have a mother who's afraid to leave the house. I can't live like this, we both know that" you whispered, squeezing her hands in yours again.

“But you cannot possibly be mated with all three of them” Bella whispered with despair in her eyes. You only smiled, sensing that this sentence got on Kings’ nerves, especially Caius’s.

“I think it’s predestined, Bella. Just as you are destined to be with Edward, I do belong here, with my mates” you said cautiously, glancing at Aro and looking for approval in his eyes. He was only looking at you with delight, as he said nothing.

You saw that Bella had hard time processing such information, whilst Edward and Alice said nothing at all. You knew that Alice knew prior about this, and Edward could see the vision in her thoughts. You pulled Bella into a comfortable hug.

“Hey, sister, we don’t see each other the very last time. We’ll meet again. Probably in a different…condition but still.”

Bella looked devastated.

“You promise me that?” she asked warily, her tone full of hope. You smiled at her.

“Of course I do.” You kissed her cheek and caressed her long, brown hair. “We can call each other, you know. It’s not like I’m moving to the Moon,” you joked, to release the tension a bit. To your astonishment, everybody in the room laughed at that. It made you blush, just a little tiny bit.

After another farewell, in which this time you also included Alice and Edward (barely, because you were still mad at him) and an official farewell from Aro, who told them to give his friend kind regards from him, the guests left the chamber.

They left, and Aro was immediately by your side. He gently stroked your long blonde hair, but didn't touch a single piece of a skin. After the display of your memories, he probably knew very well that you did not wish any touch for the time being.

You still couldn't free yourself from under his spell and if you were to be honest, you didn't want to at all. Aro offered you his arm.

"I believe, we have much to discuss, my love."

You took his arm gratefully.

"I have a ton of questions," you admitted as you walked out of the chamber with Marcus and Caius slowly following you. You didn't need to look back, the strange bonds that drew you together informed you of their presence in a yet unknown way.

Aro, as usual, smiled magnificently.

"My dear, one thing at a time," he said in a gentle tone, as he patted your forearm with tenderness. When you entered the study with the round table, Aro immediately pushed back a chair for you.

"No one is to disturb us" you heard Caius' sharp tone as he closed the door behind you. You tried to feel comfortable and at ease. After all, this was your home from now on.

Part 2 | Part 3

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