#spilled my feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ludululovelu · 6 months

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getting to the bottom of strawberry milk and picking up the glass, tilting back, to get that very last drop—you watch as it spills down my chin onto my chest 🍓

#strawberry milk #shake #subby bunny #dumb wh0re #oopsy daisy #uh oh #spilled #spilled my feelings #someone cuddle me #bd/sm blog #bd/sm brat

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inkskinned · 5 months

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in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main.#tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.)#(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape.#bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation.#but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have.#and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing).#but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

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chipsy · 16 days

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I have no desire to fit in. No plans to walk with the crowd. I have my own mind, heart and soul. I'm me and it has taken me years to realize how important that is.

#life quotes #quotes #spilled thoughts #thoughts #spilled words #feelings #emotions #personal #my thoughts #positive quotes #chipsy

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dastanslove · 1 month

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I wonder if you miss me like I miss you

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spilledkaleidoscope · 9 months

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Kim Skills!

No faces for him.

(drew this to accompany what started as a little spin-off of another fic...it's on ao3)

#can you tell that I really like drawing hands cause I do #I guess this goes in the main tag? sorry #disco elysium #for those who have read A Spilled Kaleidoscope: the first chapter of this is basically the Bonus chapter but reworked a little and extended #Kim Kitsuragi #btw I need to add how clever I feel for making PROCESSOR the only one that shows the palms of the hands :3 #my art

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randomnotebookthoughts · 1 month

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I am truly a giggler. A laugher. A chuckler. Just somewhere in the background snickering.

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undermycoat · 7 months

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can’t stop crying over arthur loving merlin for merlin. like he fr thought he was just some guy but guess what? that’s his some guy. and he’d stick with him forever. i think i’m gonna throw up

#I FEEL SICK. LIKE. THAT WAS ARTHUR’S FRIEND!!! ARTHUR LOVED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS HIMSELF AND HE DIDN’T NEED ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT!!!!!#i can’t fucking do this. genuine tears just spilling from my eyes rn #i know this has been said over and over but i dont care!!! i dont care!!!! it can be said again!!!!!!#cupid de bunny #merlin #merthur #100 #500 #1000

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whim-prone-pirate · 30 days

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hey guys what do you do when you dream about a girl who doesn't exist. you meet her, she lives in your building, you and your other friend start to get to know her. your friend is kind of a dick, but that's just how he is. as you get closer with this girl, you start to convince yourself that you like her—you don't. you think she's gorgeous and you think you're supposed to fall in love with her, but you haven't. and in your efforts to love her, you do something that hurts her, your friend egging you on, trying to get you to go further, double down, and the girl pulls away from you. she doesn't look at you like she used to. she won't stand close to you and her new boundaries are clear—she needs you to keep your distance and you're not going to be able to fix this completely, not ever. and you understand that, and you're a kind person, so you are as respectful towards her as you know how. again, your friend is a dick about the whole thing, which doesn't make you feel better at all. maybe you shouldn't feel better. because you started it. you told yourself you were going to love her and you didn't and you did it wrong. and now that you've fucked it up for good, you feel yourself starting to look at her differently than you did before, just like she's doing now. but you're looking at her with shyness and gentleness and from six feet away, shrinking into yourself with a tiny glint of light in your eyes, while she stands stoic and tall, her eyebrows tensed and her mouth flat as you fumble your way through an attempt at aftermath-themed small talk, her responses short and clipped and knowing. she knows what's happened to you. she knows why you're looking at her like that. and she knows that you know that you lost your chance and you're not getting the same chance back and definitely not in the same way. and when she asks you for a small favor or wishes you well, you skip away, your voice soft and light and far too gentle, so fucking gentle, and you know that she hates you a little bit. and you know that now, only after, you love her a little bit. and then you wake up. what do you do then?

#dreams #writeblr #spilled ink #spilled words #spilled thoughts #spilled dreams #my writing #technically #feels a little too artful to be a textpost #based on real events #!!!!#awesome sauce #i want her back #she was brunette and she wore round framed glasses #her favorite coat was grey #lesbian #lesbianism #sapphic

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juan-francisco-palencia · 25 days

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Quotable quotes.

"As cruel and painful as it may seem at times, we have to accept that some people can only be in our hearts, not in our lives."

— Juan Francisco Palencia.

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theoldkyokodied · 1 year

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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')

#tomgreg #succession #dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel #and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited #so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen #thats the kind of person i am #dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor #i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg #only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual #oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before #but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine #i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...

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inkskinned · 3 months

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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

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asoftepiloguemylove · 3 months

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I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL BUT I COULD BE

Chen Chen Poplar Street // pinterest // 괴물 Beyond Evil (2021) dir. Shim Nayeon // Janet Fitch // Taylor Swift seven // @girltwinkabigail // 괴물 Beyond Evil (2021) dir. Shim Nayeon // Mitski Class of 2013 // Taylor Swift You're On Your Own, Kid // Margaret Atwood Selected Poems: 1965-1975 (via @freshberries) // 괴물 Beyond Evil (2021) dir. Shim Nayeon // Salman Rushdie East, West // Emily Palermo // 괴물 Beyond Evil (2021) dir. Shim Nayeon // Desireé Dallagiacomo Sink

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callmezeeshan · 18 days

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Single people use half of their bed for

Remotes,phone,pillows and snacks 😭😭

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crawley-fell · 1 month

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Broadchurch | S1EP3 | Alec Hardy’s Wettest Moments (Part 10)

#wow bestie tell us how u really feel #spill that pathetic over brewed tea #broadchurch #alec hardy #di hardy #broadchurch gifs #david tennant #wet hardy #my gifs

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ratcandy · 2 months

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when I got Kallamar in my cult all I could think of was Heket and Leshy waiting for him to recover from his illness only to jump him the moment he came out and tear him a new one for trying to get Shamura killed in his place

#how would they find out Well obviously Narinder would know. due to seeing it through the crown #and you can't tell me he wouldn't spill that shit just to cause problems on purpose #clamart #cotl lamb #cotl leshy #cotl heket #implied kallamar .#<- feels like a warning tag of some kind #cult of the lamb #the lamb gets smaller every time i draw them. that or heket is getting larger. my point is the sizes are never consistent and you #shouldn't expect them to be

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xabbtix · 2 months

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#black and white #gifs #quotes #i don't want to lose you #love #spilled words #my thougts #feelings #my gig #xabbtix

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