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urijihoons-blog · 3 years

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Bokuto: Clarity

/ Kōtarō Bokuto x reader /

genre: pure angst

wc: 1399

summary: It’s your anniversary with Bokuto and you surprise him at a tournament, but someone’s been lying to you.

warnings: sadness

a/n: Hehehehehe I wrote something and it’s full of ✨angst✨

///

All you can hear are the clicking of your shoes on the airport tile.

You’ve had this trip planned for a while, and have everything down to a t. You arrive at the airport right after his volleyball match ends, which by the excited texts he’s been sending you (and the fact that you followed the score online during your flight) his team won his match. Just as you assumed, you expected nothing less. You would grab food from this barbecue place around his hotel that he’s been talking about constantly every night you two FaceTime, and you would surprise him. You would spend this night together, watch his final match tomorrow, and explore the city in next couple of days.

You haven’t seen him in a while, 2 and a half weeks to be exact, because he’s been at this combo training camp/tournament. This distance, this time between you, it isn’t new. It’s his job, and you fully respect that. You still talked on the phone everyday, FaceTimed every other day, and texted constantly. He’s a very attentive person, especially when he misses you.

Tonight is no different. You FaceTimed him while secretly closing your bakery for the night, right before his semifinal game. You gave him as much encouragement as you could over the phone, knowing it still meant a lot to him to have your support. You received text messages immediately after the game, reading them while you sit in the taxi on the way to get dinner. His texts outline every detail, every spike, every rally, every wish that you could’ve been there in the crowd. But he understood why, he understands that you can’t just abandon your business, not for his volleyball game, even if it is your anniversary.

You look down at the ring, turning it over and over around your finger. That’s the whole reason you’re doing this anyways. You closed up shop early to be able to leave and celebrate his win and your 4 years of dating, which would come to an end because of your wedding soon. Butterflies flutter in your stomach just thinking about it.

The cab suddenly stops and you get out, leaving the money behind. You pick up his order quickly, taking brisk steps. You can see the hotel sign just a block down. Its only been a few minutes and you’re already in the building, going up the elevator. You check previous texts, ‘Babe, you know I always stay in room 428. Just in case you ever want to surprise me :) xx’ And, finally, you could do just that. Give him the love and support and encouragement in person, instead of through a screen. The thought of seeing him made you halfway sprint down the hall, your rolling suitcase struggling to stay on its wheels behind you.

You slow as you see the room numbers closing in. It’s happening. You stand in front of the door and look down at yourself. You straighten out your sweater and run your fingers through your hair, trying to look at least halfway presentable. He won’t care, he just misses you. He says it everyday, multiple times a day. He just wants you. Giving yourself this little reminder, you knock on the door. For a second, you realize he may be out with his teammates, but then you hear the shuffle of footsteps.

“-yeah, and this must be our room service!” He opens the door and stares at you in utter shock. Your eyes take him in. His hair was down and wet and you could smell his body wash from the foot of distance between you, he must have just stepped out of the shower. Shirtless, but had on basketball shorts. A normal night. His golden eyes were bright with surprise, but his body stiffened, and his face looked.. scared? Concerned?

Maybe he was just confused.

“Bo!” You beamed, taking a step towards him, “I missed-“

“What’d you get us?” You heard a smooth voice purr from behind him. Your muscles instantly went rigid, and your eyebrows furrowed. Who-

And then you saw it.

A slim hand crept around his torso from behind, a face suddenly appearing from behind his shoulder. Her hair was wet, and her smile dripped with poison. She wore nothing but a towel hugging tightly around her body, and her hair was wet.

Your eyes stung with tears, and you were seeing red. You pushed through them both, neither of them giving much resistance. Storming into the room, you go straight to the bathroom, snatch the unnamed girl’s clothing, making sure they were drenched, and walked back into the suite. Bokuto’s sitting on the bed, as still and silent as a statue, covering his face with his hands. The girl, who once looked at you with a little smirk, now looks at you in unbelief. You shove past her, open the door gripping her arm, force her into the hallway, and drop the sopping clothes at her feet. The door slams in the girl’s face before she can even begin to protest her exile.

Silence envelopes the room as your back slides down the door frame. You finally let out the sob that has been tearing at your throat, and Bokuto immediately looks up. Getting up from the bed, he takes careful steps and finally rests on his knees in front of you. “Y/N,” his voice almost breaking, but just as he tries to take your hand, you flinch. “Please.”

You shake your head, barely being able to look at him through the tears welling up in your eyes, the nausea and disgust filling your stomach. “no.” You barely let out, turning your face from him. You feel his hot tears fall onto your hands.

The silence returns, along with pain and regret. You sit there for God knows how long, and finally decide on your next move. As soon as you stand up, Bokuto is there beside you, trying to comfort you, trying to explain himself. His words are muffled to you, only bits and pieces come through what feels like a glass barrier between you two. You grab your purse, and take out the box containing his anniversary present. “it was only for tonight-“, “-means nothing to me”, “let me fix this”, “I can make this right”.

You stop dead in your tracks, you hand clutching the doorknob. You think over your next course of action, but continue on your way. You grab your suitcase, and stalk down the hall. He continuously tries to stop you without grabbing you, a fear of seeing you flinch under his touch. Instead, he tries to grab your suitcase, questioning you, “Where are you going?”, “Seriously, Y/N, where are you going?”, “Don’t go out there by yourself, it isn’t safe this late at night”, “let me go with you, I’ll keep you safe”. His words are still muffled to you, and you wonder if that will ever return back to normal. For now, that doesn’t matter. You don’t know if it will ever matter. You reach the elevators and press the down button.

“please say something to me, Y/N”.

That was clear, no muffle or fuzz to his voice. Crystal clear. There was a need in his tone, a desperate need, but what was it exactly? You decide not to dwell on it. Instead, you turn around and look at him one last time. His hair is tousled down, his eyes bloodshot and slightly puff from crying, and his face red and melancholy. His tall, muscular frame that normally stands tall and proud is slouched. He looks as though he’s lost. You reach out a hand to cup his face, running your thumb under his eye to catch the tears. Bokuto closes his heavy eyes, leaning into the warmth of your touch, grasping his hand over yours. The elevator door dings, it’s time.

“Happy anniversary, my love.” You whisper with a sad smile, feeling your own cheeks become wet with tears. You step onto the elevator before the door closes, before he can realize that you’re actually leaving, before he can stop you.

The face he made when he looked up in between the closing doors was one of horror. He took a step forward, “Please, I-“ was all you heard before they completely closed in on you. Leaving you as alone as you came.

///

Should I make a part 2? 🧐

Update: here’s part 2 :)

#haikyuu!!#bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x y/n #bokuto koutarou x reader #haikyuu #haikyu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyuu hcs #bokuto x fem!reader #haikyuu angst #bokuto angst

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blu-joons · 5 years

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Married to Taehyung ~ BTS Headcanon

Your Wedding

Your wedding was everything the two of you had dreamed of, it was the perfect mix of your personalities

Most of the planning was left to you, making sure every fine detail was perfect, with Tae pitching in every now and then

Your wedding was in a church, traditional, with a few decorations to make it feel a bit more relaxed

Throughout the whole day Taehyung was sobbing, from the moment he saw your dress for the first time tears fell

“You look so beautiful, better than I could have ever imagined

Every member of both your families were there, the first time you’d seen some in a while

Taehyung was overwhelmed by the whole occasion, it felt like he was living a dream

His speech was beautiful, you could tell he was nervous, but he wanted to make you proud with it

Jungkook took most of your photos just because he loved having his camera in his hands snapping candids

The boys were the perfect best men, supporting Taehyung through it all like they usually did

“It’s like that time you sobbed at the awards show, only this time, you’re getting married.”

If he was nervous for your speech, he was even more nervous for the first dance, making sure to show you and your dress off to the guests

Neither of you wanted it to come to an end, it was the most special day with all those that mean the most to you

No day in your lifetime would ever compare to your wedding day

The two of you were ready to take the next step in your hectic lives together

Being Married To Each Other

It took a few days for you both to stop crying at how incredible your wedding was and realise you were actually married

You were forever staring at your ring, admiring what a good choice Taehyung had made

The two of you went back over your guestbook each night before you went to bed reading through everyone’s messages

“I feel like if I keep doing this I’m reliving the day all over again which is exactly what I want to do.”

“Me too. We could just keep getting married everyday for the rest of our lives?”

It was nice for you to not have to worry anymore and fret that something would go wrong

Taehyung kept a week away from the studio, spending time with his new wife and embracing married life

Jungkook very quickly sent you lots of photos that the two of you could look back over

The night of your wedding you spent back at home, there was nowhere else either of you wanted to be

Taehyung spent an extra couple of weeks at the gym so he could carry you over the threshold into your bedroom

“It’s a bit anticlimactic coming back to the same bed we usually sleep in, don’t you think?”

“It’s not just out bed anymore, it’s our marital bed.”

One of the things you looked forward to most was changing all your documents so they came to Mrs Kim, that made it feel very real

You had to wait a few weeks for your honeymoon as Taehyung had a very busy schedule to keep to

Despite being married, the two of you still did the same things you did when dating, seeing friends, going for coffee, long walks

Your dress and suit were hung up pride of place in your wardrobe

Taehyung loved to introduce you as his wife, even if you were out clothes shopping, he loved to tell people

It was only a matter of time before the two of you got married, you were his first and only love in life

Jungkook was so kind to put a video together of the day, having secretly recorded the first dance and speeches

Taehyung was a wreck throughout the whole thing as you watched it back together

“Look at how you’re smiling there, don’t you look cute?”

“Tae, everyone looks cute, our whole day was bloody cute.”

You found that marriage changed a lot of what went on at home, Taehyung began to take on more chores at home

Very quickly the topic of children was brought up, mainly from his siblings who were desperate for a niece or nephew to play with

You were always his number one priority, but he still began to make a bit more time for you

As a reminder of your wedding Taehyung painted a photo of the two of you which hung in your bedroom

You had a whole room dedicated to wedding gifts, whether they be from guests or just the fans

Lots of fans sent you cards and messages beforehand, and continued to compliment your dress after the wedding

If anything, Taehyung fell more in love with you as he became a dutiful husband

Married life was the best life, he loved the feeling of being married and being a grown up

It brought your families closer too, as you were both incredibly family orientated

The butterflies would still be there, Taehyung continued to make your relationship fun to keep that spark there

He liked you to be around the studio a bit more so he could spend more time with you and not worry about you being at home alone

It felt like you were living a dream for the first few months of marriage

Everything began to feel like it was being completed, all your dreams coming true

Your Honeymoon

Your honeymoon was lowkey, you spent most of it travelling around a few different places you’d always wanted to explore

Mostly you travelled around Asia and Oceania, exploring the places you never normally got to when he was on tour

The most important thing for you both was relaxing and getting away from all the stresses of the band and living in the city

You’d spend your days sunbathing and reading, whilst Taehyung loved to draw pictures of his surroundings and of you

The two of you would walk for hours, talking about anything that came to mind, you were the only person in the world Taehyung was truly open with

Lots of photos were taken to capture all your memories and put them with your wedding photos

It was the longest time you’d got to spend with him for years without interruptions, so you were determined to make the most of it

You both reflected on your favourite moments from your wedding too

“Drunk Yoongi trying to dance will always be my favourite Yoongi.”

“Or, how about Hobi when he knocked those glasses over whilst hip thrusting?”

The boys missed you both immensely, two very important people were out of their lives for a while

You continued to update your socials, whilst Tae would post on Twitter every so often

A few fans spotted you, but they were very respectful, congratulating you both

It was a once in a lifetime visiting some of the places so you made sure to embrace the culture

Taehyung bought a lot of clothes from different places whilst you bought jewellery and pieces for the house

The only downside was that it went too quickly before you were on the flight home

All the boys were there to greet you at the airport and have you home as soon as possible

“Let’s just get back to the studio, we can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Marital Issues

The two of you had your fair share of arguments, being adults there was definitely more things to argue over

It was usually the tiniest things that would set you off, like someone not putting their shoes away or washing up after themselves

Usually you’d talk things through together, but sometimes the pressures just caused you to explode

Taehyung could be argumentative if he wanted to be, but any argument with you always upset him greatly

He would always apologise and sit down with you that night to just chat about things

Your house was filled with reminders of your wedding, reminding you both that you were with each other because you always loved each other regardless

Usually he would get stressed when work got busy so you’d be there to help relax him and support him

Arguments were very rare, you preferred to have disagreements, there were never many raised voices

You found you argued less when you got married as you had more of a purpose to remain calm for

The two of you were the best of friends, everyone argues at some point

“Can we just forget about the whole thing? We both just got a little bit annoyed over what was nothing really.”

“I agree, I think we should of just talked to each other openly rather than feel we need to rant.”

You never slept on an argument, it was too awkward and tense for you both

The two of you were still learning about each other, even if you were married

Looking To The Future

Kids were a must with Taehyung, he loved playing with his cousins, but now he wanted a family of his own

The thought of starting your own family was much less daunting now you were married

He’d achieved most of what he wanted with BTS, so now was the perfect time to set some new goals

“I always picture us at random moments with a baby, I think it’s meant to be.”

Buying your first house away from the boys was also a big step for you both as you only had each other for company

Above all else Taehyung wanted to be the perfect husband, he never wanted to let you down

You were his first love and he wanted to keep you happy and treat you right like you deserved

Knowing that you were his forever brought great comfort, but that didn’t stop him always putting the effort in

The next step seemed right to start a family together

The Boys Take On Your Marriage

The boys all adored you, they knew Taehyung had wanted to find a girl for so long, and when you came along, it was perfect

Jungkook loved to take pictures of you both and surprise you with them on special occasions

Jin loved to tell you embarrassing stories about Taehyung to make him blush in front of you

“Did he seriously never tell you about the time he fell over trying to kick a rugby ball?”

Namjoon still led you both and was always on hand to support you when you needed it

One of your highlights was the song Jimin sung at your wedding that Taehyung had written and produced himself

Hobi taught you a few moves for your first dance so you weren’t a complete novice embarrassing yourself

“Everyone will be watching you, and the two of you will look absolutely gorgeous together, I promise.”

Yoongi would always be there just to cheer you both up if there was ever a bit of tension and remind you both to stay on the seesaw of love

From start to finish they supported you from day one through everything together

They couldn’t have found a more perfect girl themselves to make Taehyung happy

---

Masterlist

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gerrystamour · 4 years

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love is a target with my heart painted on it

Written by: GerryStAmour

Explicit B-Sides Fic: [LINK]

Chapter One: Letting Go [Chapter Two]

“Juno,” Nureyev began hesitantly, and it was that particular tone that made Juno look up at him. He regretted looking when he noticed the man holding the white, silk garment bag that had been hidden deep in his closet. “This doesn’t appear to be one of Buddy’s costumes.”

“‘Cos it’s not,” Juno manages to say, looking back down at the journal he had been looking at. The aim was for nonchalant, but he landed on flat. There was a part of him that knew the topic wouldn’t be dropped, but he still hoped that it would. It took a great effort to not snap at the weight of Nureyev’s expectant stare.

But what could Juno possibly say? There was nothing he could say that wasn’t completely pathetic, and even if there was…

The only reason it was even visible was that the closet was close to empty. He had been staying the night in Nureyev’s quarters so often, his clothing was migrating as well. This was one of the rare times Juno found himself in his own quarters for any length of time, especially with Nureyev joining him, and it was mostly to look over some notes he had taken during a case he had solved a few years back. A few details about their current mark had some elements of deja vu, and Juno wanted to check his leads.

The thief sighed as the silence stretched, and Juno braced himself.

“Why is there a wedding gown in your closet, Juno?” Nureyev pressed gently, but it still triggered his response to strike out at him like a wounded animal.

“Why do you think there’s a wedding dress in my closet, Nureyev?” Juno snapped as he looked back at Nureyev, his tone defensive and vicious, and he immediately regretted it.

The man just watched him patiently from where he stood, an eyebrow raised delicately, but his expression impossibly soft. How could Nureyev just take his mean streak like that so easily, not even flinch or get angry in return?

‘I don’t deserve him,’ Juno thought sadly for a moment, mind swirling around the day he knew would come when Nureyev decided he was more work than he was worth, that he was too much like Sarah Steel, that-- ‘No. We are not doing that again,’ he thought sternly and shook his head, looking away uncomfortably.

“Well, normally I would assume you were prepared to be married soon,” Nureyev responded slowly, keeping a gentle sort of humour in his voice as he did. “Judging from your tone, however, I doubt that you’re secretly engaged or planning to propose to anyone.”

Juno put down the journal he had been leafing through and turned to face Nureyev fully, defensive fury flashing through him again. His anger was unfair, and Juno knew it, and that only made him more frustrated with himself.

“You seriously want to talk about this right now? Make a whole big deal about it?” he asked, leaning his elbows on his knees and narrowing his eyes at Nureyev.

“Yes, Juno, I would like to address why my lover has a stunning wedding gown in his closet,” the thief said firmly, and a hint of exasperation had entered his tone. The vicious part of Juno’s self-esteem celebrated that as a victory before he squashed it down. Nureyev’s tone softened as he continued, gently adding, “especially a wedding gown that makes him so upset.”

At that, Nureyev crossed the room to sit next to Juno at the end of the bed. Nureyev kept about a foot and a half of space between them, allowing him the distance he needed. Juno was grateful for that and felt some of the tension twisting his guts into knots relax a bit.

“I will understand if you wish to talk about this another time,” Nureyev added, holding a hand out on the bed between them, palm up, for Juno to take if he wished. “But if we are serious about working on our communication, we will have to revisit this eventually.”

“Fine,” Juno said with an explosive sigh, ignoring the thief’s hand for the time being. “Fine, we’ll talk. I was engaged, and then Ben died, so then I started drinking and spiralling and got fired, so then I got dumped, too. So there, that is why I have a fucking wedding dress in my fucking closet, Nureyev. Happy?”

If he hadn’t felt so nauseated and anxious about the conversation he was suddenly having, the stunned silence would have made Juno laugh. Nureyev seemed legitimately taken aback by the revelation and was doing an admirable job of processing the wave of new information without gaping dumbly.

“C’mon, Nureyev,” Juno eventually said with a roll of his eye when the tense silence stretched on. “It’s not like all of that wasn’t public knowledge at the time. You’ve researched me before, you had to have known.”

“I’ve only researched what was relevant for a… professional relationship,” Nureyev confessed, shrugging with a roguish smile when Juno raised an eyebrow at him. “I was taken with you very early on, my dear Juno, and had hoped for something to come of it. Since you couldn’t look up my personal information, it didn’t seem fair for me to pry into yours.”

“How considerate,” Juno replied with an eye-roll, but the sarcasm didn’t quite come through. The thought of Nureyev refraining from digging into his private, yet very publicly-known trail of fuck-ups, hoping to learn them on a more equal footing together, made something in his chest go very soft.

“I am known to be so on occasion,” the thief teased before his face turned a bit more serious again. “Now, none of that truly answered the question of why you have a wedding dress in your closet.”

“The hell do you mean by that, Nureyev?” Juno snapped, cringing at the overreaction. “You asked why, I told you I was engaged, so there. An answer.”

“That was an answer for how you came to acquire such a gown, yes,” Nureyev conceded thoughtfully, humming as he nodded. “However, this is at least the second closet it has been moved to since that time. It has been years, yet you carry it with you still, making space for it in your life even where there really isn’t any.”

Juno just chuckled a bit at that and sighed, the remaining tension in his body bleeding out of him. “Would you accept ‘I spent way too many creds on that thing to just toss it out’?” he eventually asked with a pleading smile, legitimately grinning when Nureyev laughed.

“Apologies, Juno. You will have to give me better than that to get out of this,” the thief replied warmly.

“Damn, that always works with Rita,” he lamented, laughing a bit along with Nureyev. Eventually, he sighed and finally took the hand the other man had offered earlier in their conversation, scooting over so that they were pressed against each other’s sides. Nureyev sighed and pulled their clasped hands into his lap and lifted his other hand to trace little shapes into the back of Juno’s.

“Why did you keep the dress, my love?” Nureyev prompted, his tone soft and barely loud enough for Juno to hear.

“I guess it was the last thing I had, from before everything went wrong,” Juno finally admitted, shrugging half-heartedly. He had processed a lot of this in his own way a long time ago, but to actually say it out loud to someone, to Nureyev , had tears springing to his eyes. “It was the only thing that I had when I moved out of Diamond’s place. Just me and that dress in an empty apartment.”

Now that he said it out loud, the absurdity of it hit him and Juno began to laugh, wiping a tear that fell from his eye. “I haven’t even worn it since the final fitting,” he admitted, looking up at the ceiling of his quarters and biting his lip. “I wouldn’t even wear it if I had a reason to now.”

As a shaky breath escaped him, Nureyev let go of his hand and pulled him into a hug. Juno was held tightly against Nureyev’s chest while one hand gently pet the back of his head while the other rubbed his back. Juno couldn’t have helped the contented sigh that escaped him if he had wanted to, and he could ignore how close to a sob it had sounded for the time being.

“Thank you for telling me all of that, goddess,” Nureyev said against the top of his head, pressing a kiss there before tipping them so they were laying down on the bed on their sides together.

It was an awkward position, with their legs still hanging most of the way off the edge. Juno curled his legs up, trying to scoot further onto the bed. Taking it as a hint, Nureyev demonstrated just how deceptively strong he could be by lifting Juno and carrying him up to the pillows.

When they pulled back to meet each other’s gaze, Juno gave Nureyev a watery smile and a sheepish shrug. “It was nothing, telling you I mean,” Juno sighed. “Hearing it out loud makes it seem ridiculous. I should really let go of it.”

“That is entirely up to you, love,” Nureyev reassured him. “There is no need to rush, and we’re not exactly in a position to sell it if that’s the direction you wanted to go.”

“I’ll think of something,” Juno replied. “Destroying it might even be cathartic.”

“It wouldn’t,” Nureyev said flatly. “That would be a complete waste, and considering it’s a symbol for a time before destruction was wrought upon your life, it might cause more harm to destroy it.”

“You’re probably right,” Juno agreed a bit grudgingly, but even as he grumbled, an idea popped into his head and took root immediately. Silence fell over them again while they watched each other, gently holding each other’s cheeks. After a few minutes, Juno said, “I’m sorry for getting mean. It’s not fair to treat you like crap like that.”

“Thank you, Juno,” Nureyev replied, straining forward a bit to give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“I’ll try and make it up to you,” Juno promised with a suggestive wink.

“You always do,” Nureyev said around a laugh, his grin almost blinding as he leaned forward to kiss Juno again, deeply this time, and chase away the final vestiges of his melancholy.

“Hey Buddy,” Juno said, shifting awkwardly in the hall outside her door.

“Juno, darling, what is it?” she asked, concern so genuine in her tone that Juno felt the threatening prickle of tears again. One day, an older woman would show bare minimum concern for his well-being and he wouldn’t have the knee-jerk reaction to either fight her or cry, but today was not that day.

“Nothing, at least nothing bad. I wanted to talk to Vespa for a minute,” he replied in a rush, meeting the doctor’s eyes around the captain’s shoulder. “Privately?”

“Anything you want to say to me, you can say in front of the captain, Steel,” Vespa growled, already on the defence and baring her teeth.

“Come on in, Juno,” Buddy said with a smile, which was a bit strained at the prospect of Juno and Vespa getting into another rip-roaring argument on their downtime as well. “And yes, I would prefer to be present for any disagreements or grievances you might have with each other. You know that, Juno.”

“This isn’t a grievance, or a disagreement, or whatever,” Juno almost pouted, wringing his hands around the metal hook on the hanger behind his back. “I have something for Vespa, a gift or whatever, and I guess I could give it to her in front of you but it’s a little personal, so it’s like really uncomfortable--”

“Enough, darling, I can step into the bedroom while you chat with Vespa,” Buddy soothed, ushering him the rest of the way in and shutting the door. From what he could see of her expression past the curtain of red hair, she had clocked the garment bag he was holding and was deliberately schooling her expression into a neutral mask.

Buddy walked through the sitting room of her quarters, pausing to give Vespa a reassuring squeeze of her hand, and disappeared into the bedroom.

Juno stood awkwardly near the door, shuffling his feet and watching the woman across from him. She had obviously been relaxing before he arrived, and was now standing stiffly in a half-crouch, glaring at him thoughtfully. Vespa’s hair was starting to grow out nicely, looking less and less thin every week, and she was filling out a bit now that she was eating regularly. Vespa was beautiful, and after everything she had gone through to finally reach this point, she deserved beautiful things.

“Well? Spit it out, Steel,” she snapped, clearly nervous at the extended silence in the room.

“Here, for your wedding, if you want,” Juno said, stepping closer and holding the garment bag out to her. “We’re about the same height--”

“I’m taller,” Vespa growled, eyes glued to the white garment bag in front of her as if it were a venomous snake about to bite her.

“Okay, whatever Vespa, I had it altered with super high heels in mind, so I’m sure it will be fine,” Juno sighed, trying to keep his cool for the rest of the conversation. “I’m broader, too, so it will definitely need to be altered--”

“Why the hell would I want a dress, Steel?” Vespa interrupted, wrapping her arms around her middle and finally looking back at his face. “Do I look like someone who would wear a goddamned fucking dress?”

“No, you don’t. Like you really, really don’t, Vespa. But it’s also your wedding and,” Juno paused, sighing, “I’ve had this dress for a long time, and it deserves to make someone happy again.”

“And what does that have to do with me?” Vespa asked, and for once the growl left her tone. She was talking in a way Juno had only heard glimpses of between her and Buddy. She was caught off-guard, and she was opening herself up to him, asking him to say clearly what he was offering her.

“I guess if someone was going to wear it, I would want…” Juno trailed off a bit, swallowing around the lump that suddenly formed in his throat, and took a fortifying breath. “I would want my family to have it.”

There was a long, pregnant silence as Juno struggled to meet Vespa’s eyes and the woman gaped at him. It hit Juno just how sappy that had sounded and his face heated up almost painfully and he began to withdraw his proffered hand. His movement seemed to trigger a response from Vespa, and her face contorted a bit.

“What the fuck, Steel--”

“Listen, if you don’t want it, fine, I thought I would offer before I sold it--”

“I didn’t say I didn’t fucking want it, Steel,” Vespa hissed, snatching the garment bag and holding it to her chest. Scrubbing harshly at her eyes, which seemed very red and watery all of a sudden, she looked down at it. “You can’t just take gifts back like that.”

“Well, it didn’t really seem like you wanted it!” Juno said defensively, but a smile was on his face.

“This doesn’t mean I’ll actually wear it, Steel,” she bit out, meeting his gaze firmly, but without the defensive anger she would normally project. “I accept your gift, but I’ll probably still hate it because I don’t. Wear. Dresses.”

“Sounds like a deal,” Juno said, throwing his hands up and backing toward the door. “Just make sure you get a good price for it when you sell it.”

“Shut the fuck up, Steel,” Vespa said sharply, but she was looking at the garment bag with very obvious tears in her eyes. “Get out of here.”

“Yup, yup, I’m gone,” Juno said, slipping out the door and closing it behind himself. He hesitated just long enough to hear Buddy rejoin Vespa, the zipper of the garment bag, and both of their gasps at seeing the gown before hurrying off down the hall.

He felt pretty good about things and definitely wanted to share this good cheer with someone special.

The next morning found Juno sitting in the common room (or the rec room, whatever) and staring through the big window into the vacuum of space. He was still sleepy and working on his first cup of coffee, and he yawned loudly into the empty room. For once, Juno had risen before Nureyev, and he was excited to tease him with that the moment he awoke.

“Juno, you’re up early.”

Juno yelped and spilt his coffee a bit, hissing at the slight burn of it through his thin shirt and turned his head to glare at Buddy as she rounded the couch.

“Yeah, I know, a real shock,” he grumbled bitterly as he wiped at the wet spot on his chest.

“I’m glad to have caught you alone, darling. I was dreading getting you away from Ransom to say this,” she confessed as she sat down next to him, laughing at that thought before turning serious and meeting Juno’s eye. “I wanted to thank you for the gown.”

He cringed at that and shook his head, putting his coffee down on the table in front of them. “Buddy, you don’t--”

“No, Juno, you will let me finish. I wanted to thank you for the gown; it is absolutely gorgeous and Vespa is quite taken with it,” Buddy said, sighing quickly before adding, “it is too gorgeous, in fact, for me to accept it free of charge. It is a beautiful gown and must have tremendous sentimental value.”

“Okay, Buddy, I want to stop you there,” Juno said in a tired voice. “It did have sentimental value, it still does, but not really the good kind. It was a reminder, and I just… it’s better off with someone else. I promise.”

“But what about you? It’s your dress, and you and Ransom seem to be hitting it off very well,” Buddy continued, her expression serious.

“Ransom? And me?” Juno sputtered, shaking his head and feeling his face heat. “I mean that might be an um, a possibility, in a few years if we survive, but r-r-right now? No.”

“I didn’t say ‘right now,’ Juno,” Buddy replied knowingly, smiling gently.

“Yeah, I know, but that dress belonged to a different Juno, from a different time, and it was for Diamond,” he said in a rush, looking back out the window. “It wouldn’t feel right wearing it for Ransom, or anyone else.”

Buddy hummed thoughtfully and said, “that makes sense, darling. It still does not cover the question of compensation, though.”

“It’s a gift,” Juno said firmly, glancing back at his captain.

“It’s far too nice to be a gift, darling,” Buddy insisted. “At least not for free.”

“It wasn’t ‘free,’ Buddy,” Juno insisted, turning to look at her fully again. “I told Vespa yesterday that if someone was going to have it, I wanted it to be family. I figured she’d’ve told you.”

From the dumbstruck expression on Buddy’s face, Vespa had not told her the conditions of the gift and Juno flinched when her eye turned glassy and wet with unshed tears. Juno felt his own eye tear up and looked up at the ceiling to try and stop them from falling.

“So, the price of the gown was putting up with my bullshit long enough for me to get all attached and needy,” Juno bit out, letting out a shuddery breath.

“Oh, Juno, darling,” Buddy said breathlessly, and suddenly Juno found himself in a firm hug that caught him off guard. The captain was much stronger than she looked; the way she clung to him the embrace was almost painful. He returned it readily though, laughing a bit as the movement knocked his tears loose.

The hug ended as quickly as it had begun, and Buddy pulled back to meet Juno’s gaze with a watery smile. “I am glad we are family, Juno. And I gratefully accept your gift, and will not speak of compensating you any further,” she said with a laugh.

“Well, I mean, if you want to give me a few extra creds for it, I’m not gonna complain,” Juno teased and laughed when Buddy smacked him upside the head lightly.

“Don’t ruin the beautiful moment, Juno,” she scolded, but the smile was still on her face as she stood up. “I will leave you two alone.”

It was that moment Juno realized Nureyev had entered the room at some point and was waiting patiently for them to finish their conversation. He smiled, a bit strained, at Buddy as she approached him and bowed slightly.

“Captain,” he greeted.

“Good morning, Pete,” she replied, pausing to pat his cheek before pulling him down to whisper something in his ear. Interestingly, Nureyev flushed deeply just before the captain stepped away and continued her exit. “You two, keep it clean in the common areas.”

“So,” Juno began, breaking the thick silence that descended after Buddy’s departure. “You gonna tell me what she said that got you so red?”

“No,” Nureyev said, turning even redder as he came around the couch to sit with Juno. “Not yet, at least.”

“Hmm, tempted to pull the whole ‘communication’ card with you,” Juno teased, sighing when Nureyev pulled him into a gentle embrace.

“It was merely a suggestion about the future,” Nureyev replied, stroking one hand up and down Juno’s torso. “You will know, someday.”

“Fine,” Juno said, too sleepy to argue further for answers and already allowing his eye to flutter shut. “Have it your way.”

“I shall, my beautiful lady,” Nureyev replied, his voice so tender it made Juno’s entire chest squeeze.

Everything felt good. Perhaps not perfect, but good. Right. He was in the arms of someone he cared deeply for, on a ship with a crew--no, a family he trusted with his life, and a home. An honest to God home . Not like his apartment back in Hyperion City, not even the place he shared with Diamond or the apartment he grew up in with his mom and brother. Somehow, Juno had learned to feel safe and secure for the first time in many years, possibly the first time in his whole life.

He was safe, he was in Nureyev’s arms, and he was finally letting go of that last, jagged piece of his past. And, in spite of everything he had gone through, Juno was actually happy.

#the penumbra podcast #the penumbra fanfic #junoverse #juno steel #jupeter #lovetarget #gerry writes #full fic

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ijustwant2write · 5 years

Text

‘You’re Worth More’-Tommy Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @imaginethishoe)

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/N) comes to realise that she has lost her very expensive engagement ring. In a panic, she goes on a wild scavenger hunt, scared of what Tommy may think.

Characters: Tommy Shelby x Reader, mentions of Polly Shelby and Finn Shelby

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

Warnings: None, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Where is that damn thing?!

I tried my best to remain calm as panic began to take over. My eyes were scanning the room a hundred times over, my brain desperately trying to remember where it was. I looked down at my left hand again, hoping that I had just lost my mind for a moment and that my engagement ring was still there. Groaning when I realised that it was truly gone, my mind drifted off to Tommy. He was going to be very mad if he found out, and I couldn’t put anymore stress on him; I was worried about his health, and what with the wedding plans along with any ‘business’ he was taking care of, I knew that he could snap at any second.

I must have looked like a mad woman as I ransacked my room. Pulling drawers out of their compartments and tipping all the contents out, searching through pockets of any clothing, even lifting up the mattress to see if it had somehow slipped off my finger during my sleep. As I looked at the mess I had created, I slumped onto the floor miserably. Why couldn’t I find it anywhere?

The staff had given me odd looks all day as I continued to my search. Some had offered to help, though I politely refused, worried that they would inform Tommy before I could. Others stayed well back, letting me look like a fool. Once I had searched the house from top to bottom twice through, leaving a trail of mess behind me, I gave up, not having a clue as to where else it might be. I was really nervous by this point, almost crying at the thought of never seeing it again. I love that ring, not only because it was beautiful, but because it had so much meaning to it. The ring had been passed down through Tommy’s family, so when he proposed, I was beyond shocked to receive an important heirloom. Of course, the real reason it was so special was that it was a sign of our relationship. He could have wrapped a piece of string around my finger and I would have screamed yes; but seeing as it was a piece of the Shelby family, I was still shitting it slightly.

Leaving the safety of my own home, I ventured out to Small Heath. Perhaps I had left it there somehow, or maybe I was going to need a lot of help from someone. I stared out of the window of the car, still trying to rack my brains for an answer as to where it could be. I could feel myself getting upset over this. If it had been any other piece of jewellery, I wouldn’t have cared as much, but because it was so special to the Shelby family, I wasn’t sure if I could even face them right now. As more and more dramatic scenes of being cast out of the family filled my mind, I only realised we had arrived when my chauffeur opened the door for me.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be. You can return to the house.” I told him.

“Are you sure ms?”

“Yes, I’ll make sure to call the house when I know what I’m doing, thank you.”

He started to drive away, and I was left staring at the betting shop. I could see figures moving inside, it looked busy like always. I couldn’t be certain if Tommy was there, and that made me all the more nervous. I hadn’t felt this nervous around him since I first spoke to him. I walked in, the crowds moving out of the way for me. I greeted everyone, trying to see if any of the Shelby’s were currently in.

“(Y/N), what you doing here?” Finn smiled at me as he struggled to hold a wad of papers in his hands.

I smiled back.“Oh, um...just thought I’d pop by. Is Tommy around?”

“No, he’s been gone for some time actually.”

“Oh, thank god.” I breathed out, obviously confusing Finn.“Not like that. Look, you can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, OK?”

He nodded as I pulled him into Tommy’s office. Looking behind me before shutting the door, I wondered whether it was really a good idea to share this with him. Finn was the youngest, he knew the least about his family history; would that work in my favour or against it? I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, or feel like I was dragging him into unnecessary drama. Sighing to myself, I took to looking around the office, praying that it was here.

“Uh, (Y/N), what are you doing?” Finn asked, slamming the paper onto the desk.

“So, I’ve lost something, something very important.”

“Alright, what is it?”

Facing away from him, I halted in my search, forcing the words out of my mouth.“My engagement ring.”

“Oh shit, uh...do you know where you last had it?”

I raised an eyebrow at him.“Are you serious?”

“Well, where have you searched?”

“I turned the house upside down this morning, and I can’t think where else it would be.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Finn awkwardly hugged me as I started to cry,“Tommy won’t mind.”

“But what if he does? And if it turns out he doesn’t, the rest of you Shelby’s will probably hate me.”

“Why?”

“Cause the ring was passed down through your family, it’s really important. That’s why I’m so worried about finding it again.”

“Finn, get back out there, it’s getting busy.” Polly shocked both of us as she stood in the doorway, staring down the boy as he scrambled to get the papers and leave.“What’s got you so upset?”

“Didn’t you hear?” I held up my left hand.“I’ve lost my ring.”

“So?”

“So? Is that all you can say?”

“Tommy won’t care.”

“But the ring-”

“It’s just a piece of jewellery at the end of the day. The memory will last forever.”

“Polly, when he gave me that ring, he gave me a whole speech about why he chose to give it to me. He almost cried!”

“Jesus, that is a shock. Look, I’ll help you find it, but just keep in mind that we may not find it.”

“Thank you Polly.”

She helped in the search, though we still came up with nothing; she even got the men looking around the shop too. Everyone immediately turned into private investigators, obeying Polly’s orders as soon as they left her mouth. Again, nothing turned up, and sadness swept over once again.

“What am I going to do?” I sighed, collapsing into Tommy’s chair.

“(Y/N), you’re overthinking this. I’m sure it’ll turn up.” Polly reassured me, pouring out cups of tea for both of us.

“I hope so. I feel really guilty for losing something that’s been part of your family.”

She sipped her tea.“If it was so important, don’t you think I would have done something about this situation?”

“That’s true.” I smiled slightly.“I suppose I need to prepare myself for what I’m going to say to him.”

The door opened and Tommy entered, my heartbeat increasing. He looked between Polly and I before greeting us both, coming round to my side of the desk and kissing me.

“What you two gossiping about in here?” he asked.

“Why do you always think we just gossip? Just catching up, that’s all. I’ll leave you two to it.”

We were silent as she left. Tommy leaned against the desk facing me, and I reached out for his hand, trying to not show my nerves. Apparently I was good at hiding it as he didn’t question anything. We made small talk, as he finished off his work; I was used to getting short answers about his day, he never got me involved, though I was glad about this on this day. As he carried on, I practiced what I was going to say to him, thinking back to Polly and Finn’s words. Would Tommy really be calm about all this? Would he be secretly mad? Should I wait a little longer to see if it turns up?

“You planning to take the night shift?” Tommy broke me out of my thoughts. He was stood in front of me, his coat and hat on ready to leave.

“Oh, yes.”

I followed him outside and to the car, hoping that this would be a quiet ride. He got in the drivers side after opening the door for me, and I couldn’t be happier that he was the strong, silent type. I stared out of the window, feeling upset and angry all at once. It was getting to the point where I couldn’t hold it back, and I could feel my eyes getting hot with tears.

“(Y/N)?” Tommy said.

“Yeah?” I replied in my strongest voice.

“What’s wrong?”

I stayed facing away from him.“Nothing, why do you ask?”

“Well, seeing as you’ve hardly talked to me, and you’re not even looking at me right now, I’m assuming something is wrong.”

I said nothing.

“Speak to me.”

When I didn’t answer, he slowed the car down, luckily we were on our private road to his estate. I heard him sigh and move around in his chair, his hand reaching for my shoulder. I finally turned around, tears roaming freely.

His expression turned stern.“What’s happened? Has someone done something to you?”

“No, nothing like that. I’ve done something.”

“(Y/N),” his voice was low,“what have you done?”

I sniffled, unable to look him in the eyes as I confessed.“I’ve lost my engagement ring.”

He leaned back in his chair, letting out an exasperated breath, groaning slightly as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know it’s valuable and special to your family. I’ve looked everywhere today, and messed up the house-”

“(Y/N)-”

“And I even asked Finn and Polly for help, but I can’t find it anywhere-”

“(Y/N)!” Tommy shouted.

Here it was, he was going to go ballistic, he was going to be so angry-

“(Y/N), it doesn’t matter.”

His tone of voice was soft, he didn’t look the least bit angry. I sobbed still, wondering if this was just a rouse. He looked ahead of him, silent for a few seconds before looking at me.

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset over this.”

“B-because it’s my engagement ring. It’s a sign of our love.”

“We don’t need a ring for that.” He held my hand.

“I know, but...I loved that ring, because it felt like I was really accepted into the family. I know I’m overthinking it...you’re not angry are you?”

“No, course not. I understand where you’re coming from though. Don’t worry about the ring, if it shows up, it shows up, if it doesn’t...well, that’s it then.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. There’s more than one way to show everyone we’re together.”

I wiped away my tears as he leaned in, putting his hand on the back of my neck to pull me closer. I was still upset that I had lost it, but more relieved that Tommy didn’t explode with fury over it. I matched his grin as we hesitantly pulled away.

“I hope the bedroom is still in tact.” His voice was low.

“And why would that be Mr Shelby?”

“Oh, I think you know.”

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby one shot #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby imagines #thomas shelby one shot #thomas shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders one shot #bbc peaky blinders #bbc

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aggresivelyfriendly · 6 years

Photo

~Meet Me In The Hallway~

Chapter 36-Se Rejouir

Hey Loveys!! Our interactions are the most fun! The Music Man! The Music!

Happy Reading-If you love a phrase or wanna fight me-let me know!

"Melly, Melody! Please answer your phone! Please! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I didn't know! I didn't know she was coming! She planned it all with Jeff, I think before I told him you were comin. I had no intention of you seeing....I know, Angel, I know.....I know it hurt you, it would kill m..........what are we doing?"

His voice sounded tiny, like he was in a bathroom. And the silent bits were loud, or full of audible breaths.

I tried to staunch my sobs and thanked my unlucky stars that my parents were still asleep when I came in like a wrecking ball after the show. I can't remember the exact sequence of events around my departure.

If I was writing the movie it would go like this. Two lost lovers stare at each other with hope and excitement before it is all dashed out of their eyes as an interloper arrives. Our heroine looks heartbroken and a tear leaks from one eye. Our 'hero' looks regretful and watches her turn on her heel and exit the room before faking a smile and redirecting his attention to the beautiful woman in his arms. The woman looks strikingly similar to the one who just exited, only a little better.

The only part that would be true is the description of HER, the girlfriend. She was tall, an inch shorter than me and slim and gorgeous and obviously a model. She had long wavy blonde hair and a beautiful face with big blue eyes. But she looked a little less exaggerated than me. Less like an anime character and more classically beautiful. She was also in a white dress. Guess he had a type.

Why did that feel like eating broken glass?

The real scene played out more like a shit show. I audibly choked when I figured out what was going on. She snuck up behind him and spun her boyfriend like a top, crying "Baby!" happily before attaching their mouths. Harry was still reeling from the spin and it was almost like we were dancing, because his momentum transferred to me and I about faced and made my exit. I didn't give myself any time to process it, nor did I stick around to be forced to go through an awkward meeting. In hindsight, this was probably incredibly rude of me. The idea of having to stand and shake her hand and learn her name while I was shattering like a mirror sounds like a torture out of the Saw movies. Maybe every shiny piece that fell off of me onto the floor would have left a bleeding slice and I'd have to stand there like nothing was happening and make small talk and pretend that I wasn't watching someone else live the life I dreamed about while blood trickled from lots of tiny cuts.

In my flight, I realized the more painful parts later. Like the resemblance. In the moment, I just watched my heart be torn out of my chest and crushed by the man that I had just decided to give it back to. Well, he probably had it the whole time based on how I was feeling. Listening to his message, he didn't mean for this to happen, or for me to see something so painful. And he knows it would be, Harry had made it clear the thought of Milo hurt him, and he was empathetic enough to know how he would feel if we had switched places. I think it hurt so badly because I was turned back on. Being near to Harry and letting myself feel made everything bright. Like my life had been turned down, a volume dial on 2, until I walked in to his literal arena and went up to 11.

I want to be dialed back again, that numb region between 2-4 was looking really attractive right now.

I'm sure a sound like an injured cat escaped me and I pivoted and my heel caught. I fell to my knees. The abrasion on my right leg bled all the way home. I heard my name behind me, but it sounded like your favorite song playing in another room. So I got myself up in a scramble of long limbs and I ran. There was a car near the curb at the VIP entrance I had come through. I'm sure it wasn't for me, but the driver took one look at the bodily fluids leaking from my knee and eyes and nose and asked, "Where to?"

I gasped out my parent's address. I wanted Kara, but knew she had a visitor, and this was no way to meet her man.

I think I saw a suit clad man with wild hair chasing the car. But I kept my head forward. Towards my future.

Harry had called. Over and over, then texted. I'd shut my phone down. When I got brave enough, as a rainy day dawned, I listened to some of the messages. The one asking what we were doing was the last one. The others had been him asking me to answer. Most of them were sweet and full of sorry words. Like I caught him cheating on me, instead of the truth.

Truth was that we were walking a really fine line. We weren't seeing each other, until tonight, and our conversations were not naughty, they barely even crossed the line to flirty. But nobody knew. We were hiding again. This time with much better reason. There was so much between us, there were not enough words to cover it. At the very least, I was cheating emotionally. Harry took over my mind like an occupying army. Our memories invaded happy moments and disappointments alike. There was no activity I could be doing, or conversation I could be having, or plans I could be making free from his bombardment.

The memories were not even the worst of it, the real betrayals. Those were the possibilities. I was building a life on clouds everyday. Daydreaming about what ifs. I'd be having a lovely moment, slow dancing while cooking dinner, or cake tasting, or listening to prospective bands, and Milo would be replaced in my head, like an avatar, a space holder for Harry. I rejected a band Milo loved, they even knew some Spanish standards, because there was one Harry would have liked better. Might have kidnapped the vocalist and brought him on the road.

When I picked the banana cake for the top tier, I had to admit to myself what I was doing. But I didn't until I was laying on the floor of a bedroom that was once mine and looked at the choices I had been making for the last several months. I laid them out the way I did my physical flaws at 13, side my side in a long line. I was that frog in the video game in the middle of the street waiting to get squashed under car wheels. But I was choosing to hop there.

What were we doing? What was I doing? To myself, to Milo and Harry. I had trouble caring about her.

Harry had a girlfriend, who flew to Australia to surprise him. Sounded serious. And I was getting married. I was getting married in three months. And today, I was going back to the bridal shop and buying a dress. Not the One, because the thought of wearing that dress and not standing in front of Harry on a spring day in England was even more miserable to think about than seeing Harry kiss another woman. I pushed away the thoughts of him standing facing somebody else before an altar.

And Milo. He was the real victim here. I'd never even told him about Harry. I had alluded to a bad break up and when we had had the sexual history conversation. He had only asked for numbers and testing. It was all very grown up and mature. But it also allowed me to pretend to be more over it than I was. At the time, I really thought I was over it. But, it was like a cold case, new evidence had been brought to light, and I'd had to let Harry out of the mental prison he'd been in due to wrongful conviction. Now I was in the cell in my head, because I deserved it, and just like any prisoner, all I seemed to have was time to think about what I had done to get me there.

And Harry had been open to me. To talking to me. And I'd missed him, and his horrible puns and the sound of his voice and his joy! If Harry liked something, he liked it big - without self consciousness. And he would tell me about the things he was seeing with his increased time and freedom and I was so happy for him. All I wanted was for him to be happy.

But secretly, I had decided that was with me.

I had imagined this entire scenario in my head. I'd tell him I wanted him. The last three years would evaporate along with our hurts, and we would be together.

I guess I thought our partners would just disappear too.

Even my non break up with Harry had been torturous. We hadn't actually had the heart rending talk until years afterwards, but it was bad as the time. Yet, we had shared nothing. There were no assets to divide. I didn't have to go look at real estate to figure out where I would be laying my head. Whereas, If I broke up with Milo, which a small lady clad in white on my right shoulder was screaming I had to do for decency's sake, I had to find a place to go in Singapore, at least until I decided where in the world I wanted to be. And when we had moved in, we had each come with a few things, but we had not been careful about what was mine and what was his. The things we bought, Milo bought, were to be ours. I was just thankful our finances were separate beyond that. If he forgave me, we'd have to keep it like that.

Milo's name appears on my phone. And I just can't. I couldn't talk to him. Because I may have just told him everything, and arranged for him to not be home when I got back so that I can get my things and find a new place. Or beg.

That all felt hasty. Maybe if I told him everything, we could have started there. And since I didn't have Harry, and my fantasies had been unrealistic, we could start again, maybe delay the wedding I was not ready for. Because Milo was wonderful and I'd be lucky to have him, and I could work harder and make sure I was more worthy.

Maybe. Once he'd gone to voicemail, I called Kara.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come over?" I croaked.

"Um," she giggled and I was torn. She was happy and I could see the rose colored glasses on her face. The black cloud over my head was no good. I would not bring the rain down on her and Aiden's head.

"Kara," I bit my lip to make my voice stop going side to side like a weeble, "Sounds like you are still in the throes! Call me when you are done!"

"Ok!" She said and I heard her squeal as she hung up.

I could see them in my mind's eye, running, playing a very grown up game of tag in their undies.

Milo always felt the need to initiate wrestling matches. Last year, on the hottest day ever, or at least it felt like it, the grid went down and we were without air con. We'd been eating frozen fruit on the couch when I'd pushed him with my toes. He'd grabbed my foot then and hoisted me over. Before I knew it, he had me pinned beneath him and we were grappling and giggling and the juice from the quickly melting pineapple he was dribbling on my chest had wet through my bra.

"That looks sticky-guess I better help you take it off!" And my bralette was never seen again. It might be under the couch or in the cushions. We were already so sweaty, it didn't matter how much more gross we got and the cold shower afterwards was a remedy for several ills.

I was thinking how sweet the memory was, and that maybe all was not lost there, when Harry and his giant head invaded my mind.

Occasionally, the whole touring company would play hide and seek on the floors we occupied. There were long days sometimes where going outside was precluded because of the 1000's of fans crowded around the place and fifa and other games could get old.

"Knock, knock!" Niall's voice would sound, as he was instigator in chief, "We are doing shots and playing hide and go seek, get your arses out here!" Down the hallway he'd go and the assembled company would tumble out.

Before we were out, Harry and I would sneak into the hallway before everybody else and separate. Then we'd spend the rest of it trying to find each other and making out in any particularly secluded space we could find.

After everybody knew...well I still don't think Michael has recovered from where he found us tangled around each other. The bottle of water he'd doused us with was icy!

I pushed the memories away with both hands and got myself to the bathroom. My reflection suggested I'd been on a bender or a runway in the heroine chic era. My eyes were rimmed black and mascara had leaked onto my cheeks.

The water was cold, but it woke me up. I created this. By not being honest, with Milo, and Harry and myself.

I should have told Harry my hopes, so he could have dashed them properly. Maybe over the phone so I could save myself the heartbreak. I should have told Milo about my wandering heart.

I should have admitted to myself what I was doing.

I should have talked to Harry three years ago before I ran.

The fourth stair down creaks if you step on the right side of it. I carefully tiptoed over it and held the banister to get downstairs for some food.

I mentally clapped myself on the back for being sneaky when I saw my parents sitting at the breakfast bar. They looked grim, like somebody died. I dramatically thought it must be my funeral.

"Morning!" I salvoed and tried to get tea as though nothing is amiss. I'd cleaned up my face and it was not too puffy, maybe they wouldn't notice.

"Melody Olivia," Dad started, shit. "Sit down."

They were clutching hands, like they were when my mom got her biopsy results. Tears are not being pressed down like a suitcase with too much stuffing, so I was hopeful this was just about the mess I'm in, not about matters of actual life and death importance.

I brought my cup and sat. 'What's going on?"

"We're concerned about you." My mom started.

"I'm not concerned about you, I'm damn worried." Dad harrumphed. "What are you doing, Melly? Here to pick out your wedding dress and sneaking out to see Harry? We didn't raise you like that?" He looked disappointed and I flashed to when I cheated on an exam and confessed to him.

"I didn't," I started with no end in sight to the sentence. "I just went to his show. We've been trying to be friends, Harry and me." I explained, painting a picture backlit with white. They both give me a look like they have just bitten into a lemon. "What?"

They exchanged a look and my dad gestured for my mom to wade in. "Melody, you and Harry aren't friends. Don't think you can be. There's a force in the air when you two are near each other, like when you teach kids about magnets and they try to keep them apart. When he came here, that first time, your father and I could see it. It's why we let you leave with him. We doubted you'd ever come back."

She sighed. "But then you did, and I'm so thankful, I may not have had the will to go through," she swallowed, "You were my hope darling," she reached forward to caress my face, "As ever. But your hope was fading, we could see it. And then you were this ghost of a person. Never seen anybody so sad. We don't want you to ever feel that way again!" My dad squeezed her hand. "Then you just left. And he came looking for you, and we did what we thought best, though now, to watch you two orbiting each other again is..."

My dad cut in, "Melody Olivia."my name is a sentence onto itself. "You have some decisions to make. And right now. I may not be Milo's biggest fan. But he loves you and has made some big promises to you, which you've accepted. And your mother tells me that you wouldn't buy a dress and don't you think she doesn't know why!" His voice went up at the end. "It's not right, little one, it's not. You and Harry are gonna wind up hurting a lot of people."

That's when I cut in. "Harry's not even an option! And I'm gonna." My eyes brimmed again. "I'm gonna tell Milo the truth and see if we can move on. Maybe we can delay a bit. I should marry him, I'd be lucky to." I bit my lip and could taste a bit of rust plus salt from my tears. "But I've discovered I have some feelings I need to get over. Harry, Harry." I'm not sure where to go there. "I need to get over him, we talked out all of our issues and he has, his," dammit, overflow, "His girlfriend was there last night. So, I'm sure that's done. And you guys are right, we can't be friends."

My parents looked at each other and the silent communication made me ache with pride and longing. We should all have that. It dawned on me that there was something I was missing.

"We think," my mother began then gave my dad a helpless look.

"Melody, we think you need to decide what you want. And try to be honest-then go get it," he said.

I shook my head. I couldn't have what I want, I ran that ship aground and damaged it beyond repair.

"I, he's happy, he looked happy, and that's." I looked up to clear my eyes and voice, "That's what I want for him. He's moved on and leaves today, I think. I need to accept reality and, um, be content." Like Kara said. My parents shared another look and my mother nodded.

"Melody, Harry's in the sun room. He came this morning. To me that doesn't sound as hopeless as you think."

My dad keeps talking but I can't process anything beyond the fact that Harry is two rooms away.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #meet me in the hallway #mmith #chapter 36 #one direction #one direction fanfiction

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ravennawritesfanfiction · 6 years

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The Raven and Her Wolf- Chapter 11: Fit For A Princess

Rose’s discussion had left her with more to think about than answers to her questions. She knew that Frigga was probably right about not thinking about what she had seen, however, she still wanted to know for sure what she had seen. What if she could prevent it by knowing?

Loki found her the next morning, though he was in high spirits, she couldn’t bring herself to share the feeling. At breakfast, Thor tried to get a rise out of her, just to be ignored. Loki grew worried about her and asked Frigga what had been said. He agreed with his mother, that Rose should just pretend that it never happened.

A week went by and after trying and failing multiple times to find the Oracle, Rose finally admitted defeat and went back to her life as it had been. Loki was overcome with relief.

There had been several conversations between Loki, Thor, and Odin about the matter of Loki’s right to wed. Thor was oldest and should marry before Loki, however, Thor maintained that he couldn’t be happier about how everything worked out.

Loki found you in the garden the morning after the final discussion. He wasn’t wearing his usual wardrobe and it was a pleasant change. He looked so nervous; perhaps Odin had decided to kick her out after all.

“Good morning, Rose. How are you today?”

“Loki, Dear, I am fine, but why are you being so formal?”

“I have a matter that is most important to discuss with you. Oh, nevermind being formal. It feels wrong. Rose Crane, will you do me the honor of ruling by my side as my Queen?”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Please say that you will.”

“Of course, Loki. I would want nothing more than to be your Queen!”

It wasn’t the proposal that she would have expected, but he was royalty and there were probably guidelines on how one is to propose to their future spouse. The Asgardian culture never ceased to confuse and amaze her.

Since she had agreed, the wedding wouldn’t have to wait for long. Unlike in Midgardian culture, where you can be engaged for however long it took to plan and arrange the perfect wedding, everything here moved fairly quickly and it didn’t leave a lot of time for cold feet.

The Palace transformed before her eyes; in a matter of days, it was completely ready to house the most ornate wedding imaginable. Flowers were free to climb every pillar and red carpets lined the way Rose was to walk in less than two days. White benches were set out and Frigga diligently sent out invitations. Thor disappeared a few days before the wedding, and no one knew or would say where he had gone.

Rose was beyond nervous. Frigga and Lady Sif set out to pick the best dress, and they couldn’t seem to come to an agreement. In the end, Rose agreed with Lady Sif’s choice of a slightly loser fitting dress that allowed her to breathe better. Frigga’s choice had been equally as stunning but was a little tighter that Rose would have liked for such an exciting day where breathing was important.

When Thor finally turned up again, he wasn’t alone. It had been over a decade since Rose had seen them, but she knew it was them before she even saw their faces. The man was very stiff and clearly didn’t want to be there. The woman kept shifting about, taking in all of the scenery around her. Loki was talking to them, although he was mostly talking to the man.

Loki would make a good diplomat. Rose knew it wasn’t easy to speak to this man, but Loki was making a good show. She was secretly proud of Loki for putting in the effort. Thor found her watching and gave her a hug. When she asked what that had been for, all Thor could say was “That man is terrifying. You are so brave.” Rose let out a laugh, Loki had heard her and bowed as she left the visitors to look about.

“You should talk to them.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt. What did he have to say?”

“A lot along the lines of ‘Why am I here? Who are you? and Where are we?’”

“Dear Lord, what did you say?”

“’You are here because you were invited and I am Loki, Prince of Asgard. As for where you are, you are in Asgard.’“

“He won’t want to speak to me.”

“You’re probably right, but she will.”

At this point, Rose wasn’t sure whether if she was nervous about getting married or talking to two close strangers.

“Hello, Mother, Father.”

“Rose! Look at you! You look so gorgeous!”

Her mother was over to her and holding her in a matter of minutes and was quietly sobbing on her shoulder. Her father hadn’t moved or acknowledged her in any way. She had expected nothing less.

“I missed you so much, Sweetheart. Where have you been? I heard you were fighting in Washington’s Army.”

“I was, Mother. I missed you too.”

“And that is precisely why I don’t want to be here. You are a traitor to the Crown.”

Your father had always had a way of crushing nice moments. It made you so mad, but now you were in a position to do something about it.

“Perhaps, but now I am wearing a crown, so it was all worth it.”

“Why are we here? He wouldn’t answer the question.”

“He answered it just fine. You are here because you were invited.”

“Why?”

“That man is my Fiance and you are here for my wedding. Don’t worry, you won’t be walking me down the aisle. His brother is.”

“You ungrateful little brat!”

“I am grateful to many people for many things, you aren’t one of them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go speak with the Queen; my future mother in law. Mother, it was lovely seeing you. Father.”

Rose turned and left, Thor and Loki were hot on her heels and it took them both a few paces to actually catch her. Thor had gone pale. Loki had that look of pride on his face again. Neither of them could believe that Rose had told him off like that. Though Loki had to admit that he had wanted to say something himself, though he had thought better of it.

The day before the wedding had Rose too busy to really spend time with Loki, and she wasn’t going to see him at all that night. Frigga had invited Rose’s mother to help with the final touches and both women seemed to get along quite well. They hadn’t heard Rose come back from running an errand and she could hear Frigga talking with her mother.

“She is a brave girl, Rose. The risk she took saving Loki in the woods was great, but she knew she couldn’t stand back and watch it happen. I mean no disrespect, but I noticed how your husband speaks to you and others he deems below him. Why do you let him? I imagine Rose had to get her bravery somewhere.”

“Honestly, Your Highness, it is not my place to speak to him in the manner required to stand up to him. Wives are property in our culture. He treats me accordingly. Rose is a creature of her own making. She didn’t like being ignored and she did something about it. She was deemed too strong-willed to find a spouse back home. The man she loved was promised to another. I drove her to fight and then he died. I’m not sure it is bravery rather than being too proud to say she can’t. She borders on stupid and reckless. So did her brother. They call it honor because it sounds better.”

“Well, as a mother. I am immeasurably grateful to her for her actions and sacrifice. My sons would not be alive without her recklessness.”

“Sorry it took me so long, Lady Sif wanted to show me something. What were you talking about?”

“You, Sweetheart. I am so proud of you. Do you know that? You have grown so much. I remember when you would pick a fight just to prove you were better than someone else. No, you are more reserved and there is an air of elegance about you; I had all but given up on you ever being a lady. I am sorry I didn’t do more to make you stay.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I made a difference. I lead my men with dignity, I fought alongside Ichabod, and I did something that mattered without even knowing the implications of my actions. I am glad I left because I grew. I would have stayed the same if I hadn’t left Dover.”

Frigga’s smile was that of motherly pride. Rose’s mother, teared up and pulled her daughter into a hug. She had never received this much affection from her mother in her entire life. It was the closure she needed.

Thor looked so handsome in his ceremonial attire. Rose was definitely happy she picked this dress over the other. As it was, she was hyperventilating. She could see her parents sitting in the front row. Her mother had on the prettiest dress she had ever seen. It suited her and she deserved to have something nice.

From between the curtains, she could see Loki standing up front with Odin and Frigga. He had never looked better and it made Rose melt just looking at him. Loki turned to face her and she knew Loki was taking advantage of the connection.

“That’s not fair. You can see me while I am left using my imagination. You’ll pay for that. Look into a mirror and your punishment will be swift.”

If she couldn’t feel the teasing behind his words, she would have been worried. She remained planted where she was out of spite.

“Very well. Slowly it is.”

She could see his smile from where she stood, hidden.

Before she thought something else, they were given the signal and Thor held out his arm. She took it and the curtain was pulled aside. Everyone was on their feet and a little Asgardian girl was throwing white rose petals down in front of her and Thor. They started walking and there were awes coming from all directions. Loki was tearing up and smiling. He was barely able to stand still. He would have blown it had Frigga not placed a hand on his arm, steadying him.

When Rose reached her mother, she paused long enough to give her a kiss. Her father, the stern man that he was, was tearing up and Rose gave him a kiss too. Then went back to Thor to continue the rest of her trip to Loki’s side.

When they were to Loki, Thor did the handoff and whispered in Loki’s ear.

“Take care of her brother.”

Thor gave you a kiss on the cheek and then moved to your other side. Odin began the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today as witnesses to the marriage of Prince Loki and Lady Rose. Any who object, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

There was a deadly silence in the hall as everyone was afraid that they would ruin the day.

“The Prince and Lady will now share their vows to each other. Loki.”

“Rose, I vow before all who witness, that for as long as there is still breath in my body, I will defend you and fight along your side. Ruling as equals until the end of our days. You have saved my life and this is a debt I will pay back to you for all of eternity.”

“Rose.”

“Loki, you have saved me from evils so dark, I couldn’t fight them myself. You have helped me grow as a person and been my rock when I felt as though I might drown. I will honor you until my dying breath.”

“Loki, do you take Rose to be your lawfully wedded wife, to rule by your side in sickness and in health, for the better or poorer of this kingdom as long as you both shall live?”

“I do”

“Rose, do you take Loki to be your lawfully wedded husband, to rule by your side in sickness and in health, for the better or poorer of this kingdom as long as you both shall live?”

“I do”

“I, Odin, the All-Father, pronounce you husband and wife, Prince and Princess of Asgard. Turn and face your subjects.”

The wedding wasn’t to be sealed with a kiss, as intimacy and affection were to be kept behind closed doors. It wasn’t a weakness, it just wasn’t proper. Instead, they turned to face the entire population of Asgard as they kneeled before their future Queen and King.

The walk out of the hall was long and many of the citizens threw roses down as they passed by. Her parents followed out next with Frigga and Thor behind them. Odin was next and everyone else followed him.

The night passed in a blur as alcohol was served and Rose never did find her parents in the crowd of people. Still, it was a night fit for a Princess.

Odin had one final order of business, as the Princess, it would be in the best interest of the kingdom if she didn’t grow old and die before Loki. So as his gift, he gave her the Golden fruit and granted her with a semi-immortality. She was now like them, extended lifespan and strength.

#loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#marvel #asgard #royal wedding #the raven and her wolf

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ageofgeek · 6 years

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Infinity War Thoughts and Review

First, I'm going to start off with a non-spoiler review (above the read-more).

So, after seeing Infinity War last nigt, I am actually traumatized. I feel like I'm in the 5 stages of grief, and I'm still in the Denial phase because the ramifications of this movie haven't set in yet. I am still so fucking shocked by what happened in that movie. And while I will undoubtedly be entering the next phase - Anger - fairly soon, I am going to try to be somewhat coherent and logical about this, so I'm gonna talk about the movie in broad strokes (again, no spoilers!).

First of all, Marvel did a great job at balancing all of those characters. I know a lot of people were very concerned about 30+ superheroes in the same movie, but they did a great job. As much as I hate to say it, they were very smart to "center" the film around Thanos, and then use his quest to get the infinity stones as the grounding for the rest of the characters and their missions.

That being said, this movie was an emotional rollercoaster. Goddammit. Tragic, gut-wrenching moments were quickly and almost abruptly followed by Avengers-typical quips and humor, and there came a point in the movie where my brain was like: "Alright, yep, that tragic thing just happened, time to wipe your tears and move on because the movie is already 10 steps ahead of you while you're still reeling.". And while that sucked for someone like me, who wants to cherish every single one of my babies, it did create an emotional environment wherein you felt the urgency. When tragedy struck, you didn't have time to mourn or think or become angry, because the stakes were too high. And I had the feeling that what I, as an audience member, was feeling, was similar to what the characters themselves were feeling. As these awful things happened to the people that they love, Thanos is still growing more powerful every second, and those characters had to swallow painfully, maybe shed a small tear, and move on. And that was one of the most tragic parts of this movie for me: the way that things had become so dire that individual lives didn't - and couldn't - matter anymore, not even to the people who love them the most.

In general, I wouldn't say that this film was enjoyable to watch - much like I wouldn't say that open heart surgery would be enjoyable - but it was definitely an incredible film. High intensity, beautiful cinematography, some stunning visual effects (and some less so - see: Thanos' bulk and height compared to the other, non-CGI characters), and there was a real loyalty to the arcs and lives of these characters. The ramifications of Infinity War will definitely need to be addressed in the 3 Marvel films that follow (Ant-Man and Wasp, Captain Marvel, and finally Avengers 4), and I'm looking forward to theorizing frantically on the Internet for the next year as to what will happen next.

And now, let's move on to the SPOILERY discussion. AGAIN, SPOILERS ARE AHEAD: BEWARE!

God, alright, let's start at the beginning.

Opening up on the Asgardian refugee ship being attacked by Thanos, I just, god. That entire scene destroyed me, right off the bat. First of all, Heimdall's death was so upsetting (and Thor's reaction to it was so painful), but here's a question that a lot of people have been asking: What happened to Valkyrie? Did she leave the ship before they got attacked? God, I really hope Marvel doesn't give her the "Sif and Jane" treatment - it seems like women in the Thor movies always just get forgotten and brushed off, which, wtf?

But moving on - fuck, Loki's death destroyed. Right off the fucking bat, I was sobbing at this fucking movie. Goddammit. I knew that it was probably gonna happen, but it didn't make it any less painful (also, oh my god, Thor screaming through the gag when he died and then crawling over to his body and cradling him, god that FUCKED ME UP). I mean, there are already a few good theories floating around which argue that Loki could have escaped death once again (i.e. why didn't Loki's corpse revert to his Jotun form after he died? Also, why would he just foolishly try to attack Thanos with a knife? He knows Thanos' strength better than almost anyone else (except Gamora and Nebula) - he would not have just barreled ahead and attacked him! There's also the point that while Hulk and Thanos were fighting, Loki went off screen, and when he returned, he was all jovial and did the ballsy (and foolish) stab move. Why would he be that confident, unless he had a plan and had already saved himself?). But anyway, that’s enough theorizing. Even if Loki did die for real, I will be smiling through my tears because he died a hero. They didn’t fuck up his character development from Ragnarok - he died trying to save his brother and his people. He died embracing his family, and all parts of his identity (”Prince of Asgard...rightful king of Jotunheim...Odinson”). Even if he is dead for good, I’m proud of my boy.

...

Now, switch to Tony(!!!) and Pepper(!!!!!!!) jogging in Central Park, talking about their wedding and babies!! I actually squealed during that scene. FUCK I love them. Also, the fact that Tony specifically mentioned that he dreamed about Pepper being pregnant makes me think that she actually is, because we’ve been told ever since Age of Ultron that Tony has somewhat prophetic dreams/visions, for some reason. If he was right about Thanos, why isn’t he right about this? Just saying! (Oh god, please let Avengers 4 have Tony and Pepper’s baby).

Doctor Strange comes through the portal and we have the Science Bros reunion hug :’) God, they haven’t seen each other in 3 years, and Bruce’s confusion over the breakup of the Avengers was both funny and sad. And Tony’s face when he says “Steve Rogers” - not “Steve” or “Cap” or “Capsicle”, but his full fucking name. The divorce is still real and apparently, NOT RESOLVED IN THIS MOVIE because THEY NEVER EVEN FUCKING SPOKE TO EACH OTHER. I came out of that film saying to myself, “...Wait, there wasn’t even the flip phone call?! Bruce called Steve, and it was off screen! What the fuck???” Dammit, Marvel, why did you play me like this? There better be fucking resolution to this conflict in Avengers 4.

Anyway, the first fight scene with Ebony Maw was pretty awesome, because Stephen and Wong’s magic was cool but we ALSO GOT TO SEE TONY’S NEW ARMOR!!! Our entire theater began to cheer when his armor began to come out and aghh, it was so beautiful, I’ve been waiting 5 years for this moment!! It seems like he still doesn’t have Extremis, but still, the nanobot armor is a great improvement (all of the phasing that that armor could do was awesome!). And Peter’s introduction, of course, was great. And my emotions! when Tony basically told Peter to let go of the spaceship and trust him, and Peter did and he got the Iron Spider armor! (which, holy shit, I love it, A++).

Also, when Tony got on that ship and Pepper called and she was so upsettttt, okay, i need to move on, that was too painful

...

Switch to Vision and Wanda in Scotland, POST-COITAL!!!! FUCK my Scarlet Vision heart in this movie was fucking fulfilled and also broken, god, I love them so much. I just, the fact that they’ve been visiting each other for 2 YEARS and secretly dating and hE ASKED HER TO STAY AND SHE DID, fuck, I love them, why is this movie so cruel to my babies?

Ok, but also, how many fucking times does Vision get stabbed in this movie? He gets stabbed twice(?) in the fight in Scotland, and then a third time in the woods of Wakanda at the very end. Which, there wasn’t an explanation as to how the Black Order’s weapons were able to pierce vibranium? I guess there was kind of the implication that the bonds between Vision’s neurons/molecules were weakening, so weapons could slip through?

Anyway, the introduction of Team Cap to fight off Proxima Midnight was pretty awesome, ngl. I pretty much forgave them at that point (although not entirely. Still a little mad at Cap).

...

But then they go home to RHODEY! Which, yes, I grinned and wiggled in my seat when I saw my baby following in the footsteps of his best friend and pissing off Ross. Although, still pissed that Rhodey didn’t put up more resistance to Team Cap before seemingly forgiving them? Like, even if Rhodey forgave them for what they did to him personally, there’s no way that he wouldn’t have given them shit over what they did to Tony at the end of CACW. Come on now, Marvel. I have to wonder, based on what Don Cheadle said in an interview, if there are deleted scenes where Rhodey is more standoffish towards them at first.

...

This is where things kinda get a little muddled in my head, because things were moving so quickly, it was difficult to keep track.

At some point, the Guardians were introduced again, and they stumbled upon Thor and split up.

Thanos took Gamora because she knew where the soul stone was, and tortured Nebula to get that info out of her.

They went to Vormir, where the soul stone was, and WHAT DO YOU FUCKING KNOW, Red Skull is there. That cameo honestly shocked the FUCK out of me. I sat there with my mouth open for at least a full minute, that just caused my brain to short circuit, goddamn. I was honestly wondering if they were ever going to bring him back (since the Tesseract doesn’t necessarily kill you, it’s the space stone, it just teleported him), and his appearance in this movie actually reminded me of his role in Avengers: Assemble, when he uses one of the stones(?) to become “Cosmic Skull” or whatever? Yeah, anyway.

So, there’s no way that Gamora is dead for real, right? Like, that’s some bullshit. THAT. IS. BULLSHIT. MARVEL. I don’t know if Zoe Saldana’s contract ran out, but there is at least one more Guardians movie and there’s no fucking way that she isn’t in it, come on now. Same with Groot (although that happens at the end). Gamora’s death feels a bit more final, though, compared with the “dust deaths” that happened at the end, so I don’t know. Dammit, that one hit me hard (and I wanted to punch Thanos for shedding that single fucking tear, lol, FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE).

...

Everyone goes to Wakanda while Tony and co. are on Titan, and the dual final battles begin.

Shuri is there (YAY!), and so is Okoye, being a badass, and M’Baku, and T’Challa!! It’s only been a few months since we saw Black Panther, but fuck, I missed them all.

Shuri is a fucking sassmaster with Bruce (and Tony, by proxy), in Vision’s body composition (although, didn’t Ultron technically make the body, and Bruce and Tony just finished it and integrated it with JARVIS and the mind stone?). Anyway, whyyy did this movie give me hope like that by them desperately trying to find a way to save Vision while also destroying the mind stone? Fuck you.

Wakanda’s defenses hold up SUPER WELL, like, lol, fuck you Proxima Midnight and Cull Obsidian, if it wasn’t for T’Challa decision to open the barrier to give Shuri more time, they never would’ve gotten in to Wakanda. And then there’s the big fight scene, which was awesome! I loved the 3 women team-up against Proxima, with Okoye, Wanda, and Natasha. That was, ungh, fuck, I was so aroused by that scene. GIVE ME AN ALL-FEMALE MARVEL MOVIE, YOU COWARDS.

...

Switch back to Titan, and there was a very important scene with Stephen that I forgot to mention. He used the time stone to look into millions of possible futures, and they only win in one of those universes. That is SO. IMPORTANT. because Stephen is absolutely about the greater good, we saw that on the ship when he said that he wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice Tony and Peter for the time stone.

So the fact that Stephen then GIVES THANOS the time stone to save Tony’s life is SUPER IMPORTANT. Because if there was only one universe, one set of events, where they won, then you better fucking believe that Stephen is going to follow that universe TO THE LETTER. Why would he get all sentimental now to save Tony’s life? No, there are either 2 ways to interpret Stephen’s actions: 1) In the universe where they won, it was necessary for them to “lose” first by Thanos getting all of the infinity stones. Thus, despite what the others on Titan thought, Stephen never intended to subdue Thanos and take the gauntlet, and really only intended to eventually “give in” and give him the time stone. Or 2) The only way to defeat Thanos is for Tony to be alive. Tony is instrumental for Thanos’ eventual defeat, and so, Stephen thought it was a necessary sacrifice, to give Thanos the time stone in exchange for Tony’s life, and thus, the chance to defeat Thanos for good.

I’m kind of leaning towards the latter, although both are certainly possible. The fact that Thanos KNEW Tony - specifically calling him “Stark” when they first met, and saying that “we are both cursed with knowledge?” - fuck that really points to Tony having cosmic significance here, and I am INTO it. I’m kinda worried that they’re gonna have some sort of Harry & Voldemort link(?), where Tony has been having visions for the past 6+ years about Thanos, and Thanos has been having similar visions about Tony? IDK, but I’m definitely gonna be reblogging a shit-ton of theories regarding this.

But fuck, when Tony was stabbed. WHEN TONY WAS STABBED. I literally almost threw up. Like, I was kinda prepared for it, but fuck I really was not. I WAS NOT PREPARED, AT ALL. Just, his face when he was stabbed, I just wanted to cry and hold my baby and wrap him in a blanket burrito and NEVER LET THANOS TOUCH HIM EVER AGAIN. I can’t even really talk about that scene, because it fucking destroyed me and I don’t want to think about it.

...

Wow, and back in Wakanda, we have another heartbreaking scene, fuck me in my fucking asshole. Wanda having to destroy the mind stone, and thus, Vision. WOW. WOWWW I was crying so fucking hard, FUCK, why do I love Scarlet Vision so much, this movie wouldn’t have been so painful, goddammit. I also want to wrap them both in blanket burritos, because this is so unfair.

But, the good thing about Thanos using the time stone to get the mind stone back is somewhat a good thing, because Vision’s body was no longer destroyed - he just had the mind stone ripped out of his head. He’s an android - as long as his “corpse”/body is still intact, there’s the possibility for them to retrieve the mind stone and resurrect him. So, I kind of have tentative hope for Vision? But I don’t know.

...

And then. We get to the very end.

Thor comes in and stabs Thanos (which, thank God) (also, i totally forgot to mention that whole subplot with Thor, Rocket, and Groot, along with surprise cameo, Peter Dinklage??? What the fuck? I mean, I wasn’t complaining, but I was super shocked).

But Thanos is able to snap his fingers and then he disappears...and they all begin to turn to dust.

This was such a bold move by Marvel, I can’t even explain it. Like, even if it all gets ret-conned and they’re all brought back to life in Avengers 4 or some shit, it’s still a SUPER BOLD MOVE to end one of your biggest movies with HALF OF THE PROTAGONISTS DYING INSTANTLY, and the antagonist seemingly WINNING.

But, another part that was very important - before Stephen faded away, he told Tony that “this was the only way”, which again, only supports the theory that Stephen knew exactly what he was doing and that this was the only way for them to win.

Honestly, watching all of them die was really painful. Bucky, Sam, Wanda, T’Challa(?!?!?!?!), Stephen, Peter Quill, but...

As many people have already said, my heart broke when Peter started fading away in Tony’s arms. Fuck that scene fucked me up. As someone in the theater said, “HE’S JUST A KID, MARVEL.” Like, goddammit. And the fact that he felt it coming because of the spidey sense?? Wow, how much more painful can you get, I hate this!!! And him falling into Tony’s arms, oh my god, just kill me already. I don’t want to talk about it. I can’t even think about it anymore.

Just. Ugh.

...

Alright, I’m done. That’s my thoughts. It ended on such a sad and hopeless note, I honestly don’t know where to go from here, other than read fluffy fanfiction for the next few months and reblog the shit out of theories and metas.

FUCK. This movie really fucked me up.

#mine #avengers 3 #iw spoilers #marvel #rant

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ridleytheknight · 7 years

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for the 100 questions, i dare u to answer 1-50 :3c

One through fifty? Oooh boy this is gonna be a long post, but I’m happy to answer them! I hope you enjoy this starling~ ^-^ Let’s get started shall we?

1. Kissing in most cases I would consider cheating, but it depends on the context of the kiss. I kiss some people platonic or for cosplay shoots which I have consented to with my partners permission. So it depends!

2. I’ve never had sex so the need to fake an orgasm has never been an issue or a thought I’ve had. So technically no?

3. I would want to mother fucking fly as my super power

4. I will never be rich, but I will be satisfied.

5. I got my punch spiked at my sister wedding and did the chicken dance shit faced drunk at her reception with two of my cousins (Also wasted but consensually) Does that count as a funny drunk story?

6. My last ex really wasn’t good to me, she’d call me names and honestly I probably should have gotten the hell out of that relationship way earlier than I did, but I’m socially awkward and never read the signs right.

7. How I’d want to die? Mmm. Probably get shot in the head. Quick. Easy. Done.

8. My current goal is college

9. Do I like someone? I like my girlfriend~ I love you babe

10. I don’t think anyone’s disappointed me lately. I can’t really remember anything note worthy... I didn’t get called in for a job I wanted, but that’s about it I think.

11. Do I like my body? Yes for the most part, I have some area that I wish were a little better, and I have stretch marks everywhere for absolutely no reason other than growing four inches in two months. But otherwise I’m healthy and content with my body.

12. Can I keep a diet? Yes! I’ve been eating healthy for at least a year or two now and you wouldn’t believe how much better I feel! It doesn’t work for everyone, but I like how its worked for me!

13. If the whole world listened to me, we’d have some problems. Cause I’m an idiot. Let’s not do that.

14. I don’t work currently, i’m trying to get my first job as of now however! Wish me luck starlings?~

15. One food to eat for the rest of my life? Burgers. Burgers man. So many flavors and burgers go with everything.

16. Yes! I actually have a few tattoos planned!

17. Conventions. I would never mind blowing all my money on conventions and/or cosplay

18. I cannot drive, but I do have my permit!

19. When was the last time told me I was beautiful... its been awhile. I don’t remember actually. But I think it was a close friend of mine! Love you E!

20. Last thing I cried for? I sobbed writing a death scene for one of my fics, does that count?

21. (Jesus my hands hurt) Yes I keep a journal religiously, though I write in it at night and most of my entries are sleep deprived rambling.

22. Is life fun? Ask @legendarylangst I’ve told her stories of my friends. If life ain’t fun. It’s at least been one hell of a ride.

23. Farting in front of people? I mean, not my style, but you do you man.

24. My dream car is a mini cooper. Or my dad’s Harley motorcycle.

25. My grades in school are the most important thing to me nine months of the year. Nothing else matters. I get anxiety when I have a B

26. My crush has pink hair, really pretty eyes, and we’ve been friends for years. Our six month anniversary is coming up soon!

27. The Girl From The Well was the last book that truly and geniunely impressed me. I love that fucking book.

28. My last lie was telling my mom I didn’t eat the last of the coffee cake.

29. The dumbest lie I’ve ever told? When I was six I said I was secretly a cat wearing a human suit.

30? Crying in front of people for me has never happened, but if it did i would probably be mortified. I’m one of those people that hate ever saying that I’m sad or having a hard time.

31. I’m proud of playing the mariokart theme song while my friends raced on go karts in mario cosplay. That’s my crown achievement

32. What’s a cocktail?

33. I’m good a writing! (Hopefully)

34. I love my nephew, but any other small children always either make me wanna scream or punt kick them.

35. I’m feeling pretty good, have a bit of a headache. But otherwise I’m chill!

36. I would name my daughter Stella and my son Daniel or Cillian

37. I need either people or computer to be happy.

38. Yes. I want to punch a man in the face right now. A man that has hurt my friend. Bastard lead her on while he had a girlfriend. I have a ship. My fist in his face. I’ll let you know when it’s canon.

39. The last gift I got? My birthday was in July and I got a movie theater gift card seven days after it! Win!

40. I gave my girlfriend a black gem necklace from the last con I was at as the last gift I’ve given lately

41. I went to a Skillet Concert last month! It was so good!

42. I like to shop at Barnes and Nobles or Hot Topic

43. I am inspired by music mostly or other writers!

44. The first time I (accidently) got drunk was eight

45. I’ve never gotten high

46. I’ve never had sex.

47. My first kiss was when I was six under the slide at the playground

48. Something I want to do til the end of this year? Breathe.

49. I have a lot of shit I wish I hadn’t done. But that’s life!

50. You want a selfie? Uhhhnnn, sure! I’ll post it right after this ask I guess!

Thank you for the wonderful ask! All my starlings feel free to drop asks or messages! I love to hear from you!

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pledis-17-trash · 7 years

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What Was Lost|| Kim Namjoon

Genre: Angst, little bit of humor

Plot: You’re a wedding planner and you are planning your ex- husband’s wedding (requested by anon)

Word Count: 3,344 (I know a lot huh)

‘Ahh, another day waiting on hand and foot of the bride’ (Y/N) thought. ‘Hopefully this one isn’t as bad as the last one’ (Y/N) thought she shivered to herself slightly. ‘Oh shit I only have 30 minutes to get ready, hopefully they aren’t there’, she thinks as she gets ready to meet with her new clients. ‘Pray to God that I’m not late again or else Ms. Quincy is gonna kill my ass’. As (Y/N) approaches to her clients she sees something. ‘I must be going insane that looked almost like- no it can’t be. He left, didn’t he?’ When she finally approaches the couple she sees someone that she never wanted to see again. “Hi I’m (Y/N) your wedding planner”. “Oh, Hi I’m Evelyn (sorry if that is your name, if it is, change her name to something else) and this is my fiance Namjoon”. Namjoon turns around with a smile to look at (Y/N). “Hi, it’s nice to meet you (Y/N) right?” ‘How could he?’ (Y/N) thought ‘He wants to marry someone, and just after being 8 months of being divorced.’

Flashback to 13 months ago

“Namjoon?” “Hm?” “When are you gonna go to sleep? It’s like 1 am, Kim Namjoon.” “I’ll go to sleep after I finish with this part.” “No you are not going to keep on making excuses.” And with that (Y/N) dragged Namjoon (literally) out of his studio and onto the bed that they both shared. “Now get some sleep or I swear I will not hesitate to ruin all of your Ryan plushies.” “You wouldn’t dare”, Namjoon says as he is moving closer to (Y/N). “Try me”, (Y/N) says as she gets the head of a Ryan plushie. “NO! MY BABY DON’T WORRY PAPA WILL SAVE YOU!” Namjoon says- no yells as he grabs the wrist of Y/N and starts to tickle her. “Ok ok you w-win N-Namjoon.” Namjoon let go of Y/N’s wrist as she let go of the Ryan plushie only to be smothered up by Namjoon’s cuddles. “Promise me you’ll never stop loving me?” “I promise.” He lied.

Flashback to 9 months ago

“So you really want to get this divorce, Namjoon?” Y/N says as tears come up her eyes. “Yes I do, Y/N.” Namjoon spits her name like if it was venom. “So all those years that we spent together that meant nothing to you? And all those years that you promised that you will always love me that was a lie too? Or were you just messing with my mind? O-Or what about those years that you spent saying all these sweet nothing’s was that just all a game to you? Please tell me, I really do need to know if all of these years were just a game to you Namjoon”, Y/N whispered, hoping that Namjoon didn’t hear it and hoping to save the little hope that she had into this relationship. “Yes, yes, yes, oh poor Y/N did you really think that I loved you, Oh God no well maybe I did during the first few years in our relationship but that was it.” “Then why, why Namjoon, why did you agree to marrying me? Was that also part of your game Namjoon”, Y/N says as she feels like she’s going to faint. “Yes, Yes of course Y/N it was all part of the game”, was the last thing as Y/N hears as she blacked out.

“Y/N! Y/N!” “Huh?” “Oh good you’re back you sort of spaced out a little bit back there”, Evelyn says and she holds Namjoon’s hand. “Oh sorry I was just thinking about something else sorry,” Y/N told Evelyn as she looks down on her feet. “Oh it’s alright now, what do we have to do today.” “Oh,” Y/N says as she’s trying to collect her thoughts. “Um, well, what is it that you have in mind for your wedding?” “Well, honestly I really don’t have anything in mind, this was really all sudden for me.” ‘Sudden? So does this mean that he proposed in just a few months? Trying to forget about me that fast I don’t think so Mr. Kim.’ “Well I could get my team to help you pick out stuff for your wedding? If that’s what you want?” “Well I mea-,” Evelyn got cut off by another voice. “MISS Y/N! MISS

Y/N!” ‘Who in the fuc-,’ Y/N thought as she sees her best friend/ someone from a part of her team. “KIM TAEHYUNG! What in the world are you doing here scaring me as I’m with a client?” “Hehehe sorry, I was just excited that you are here, I mean it’s your first full client after you know what happened”, Taehyung says as his voice deepens. “Yeah I know, anyways could I talk to you for a second, alone please”, Y/N says as she’s taking glances at the groom. “Yeah, sure?”, Taehyung says almost like a question. “Ok, we’ll be back,” Y/N says as she gets Taehyung by the hand and leads her to the bench that’s near by. “Ok Tae, I need you not to get mad when I tell you this ok?” “Alright Y/N I won’t.” Y/N is wondering how to say this so she just comes out and tells him. “Taehyung? The bride or soon to be bride’s fiance is Namjoon. Ok? I don’t want you to get mad.” “NOT GET MAD, NOT GET MAD!” Taehyung lowers his voice as he notices that Y/N is afraid. “Y/N I’m sorry but you’re my best friend.” ‘And I think I’m catching feelings again’,Taehyung thought as he looked at her fondly. “It’s not fair to you, I mean he caused you pain, remember?”, Taehyung says as he shows pain in his eyes. “Yeah, I remember,” Y/N says as she fiddles with her fingers.

Flashback to 7 months ago

“Come on Y/N! You can’t leave me.” Taehyung says as he’s in the ambulance truck holding his best friend’s hand. Sobbing. You see Y/N got into a car crash thinking about what she could have done to prevent Namjoon leaving her. *two hours before the accident* Y/N was humming along to Mansae by Seventeen, she was just starting to get her life on track of course after her fainting, her boss made her take a 3 week leave to get herself together. The song changed to Stay by Rihanna, which made her think about Namjoon. ‘Oh Namjoon why did you have to leave me? Weren’t we happy? If only you told me how you felt. I could have done anything, anything at all to make you love me again.’ Y/N thought as her hands slowly losing grip of the steering wheel. Once she got her mind together, it was already too late she collided with another vehicle. Her head hit the steering wheel with a loud bang. She was also hurt on her left side with cut on her stomach and a broken arm. She was on her way to see Taehyung who saw all that had happened. He quickly called for help and then the rest was a blur. “Mr. Kim?”, the doctor called. “Yes? How is she doctor?” “Well she seems perfectly fine, but the baby isn’t.” “Baby? What baby?” “Oh it appears Ms. Y/L/N didn’t tell you. She was pregnant. The baby was a 1 month old. The baby died during the impact. I’m sorry.” “Can I see her?” “Yes, of course Mr. Kim right this way.” Taehyung follows the doctor as they go into the room. “I’m assuming that you would like some time alone?” “Yes please.” “Alright.”, the doctor says as he left him alone. He broke down as soon as the doctor left. “Y/N why didn’t you tell me? I could have been the baby’s father you know how much I love kids.” He approaches Y/N caressing her hair and face. “We could have been so happy you and I, playing with our kids at the park, cuddling whenever we have a stressful day at work, and just doing all of these things that you think are cheesy but, I know that you secretly love it. If only I confessed sooner, if only I confessed we wouldn’t be in this situation but, you seemed so in love with Namjoon that I couldn’t have done that to you.” He let’s a groan out angry, angry at himself for being a coward, for not telling Y/N how much he loves her. “I love you Y/N, I really do. If you don’t wake up I don’t know what I’ll do. You are the reason why I don’t go off killing Namjoon for what he did. You’re also the reason why I live everyday, to see you smile and laugh, and if you die I might do something so reckless that you’ll never forgive me. So please Y/N please I’m begging you wake up”, Taehyung says almost whisper like, hoping that she’ll hear but he doesn’t want her too.

“Taehyung honestly I’m over him, I mean yeah we were married at some point but I’m over him.” ‘At least I think I am?’, Y/N thinks as she looks at Namjoon. “But I doubt it Y/N. I honestly think that you are not over him, you might say that you are over him, but I know you, I know you well enough to know that you still love him. Even though he was responsible for the accident and that he was cause that made you cry every night thinking that it was your fault that he left you, you still love him.” Taehyung at this point was heartbroken, he wished that he could be brave and tell Y/N his true feelings but he couldn’t, he can’t deal with rejection not again. “Ok now we have to get back,” Y/N says as she wipes her tears. “Ah yes even after you has the accident you still want to work, honestly I really think that you actually love this job,” Taehyung says as he comes back to his original estate. Y/N laughs and says, “You know that I really need the money Tae, and besides who wouldn’t love working with bossy soon-to-be brides and arrogant fiances who only go for whatever their fiancee says because they can’t handle their bullshit.” “Woah, who would have thought that Miss Y/N can curse,” Taehyung says as he pokes at Y/N’s side. “Shut up Taehyung, come on we really need to leave.” “Ok, let’s go.” Taehyung grabs Y/N’s hand and leads them back to the soon to be married couple. They reach Evelyn and Namjoon and they see that they both are kissing. Taehyung clears his throat noticing that Y/N is uncomfortable. “Oh sorry you guys were talking an awfully long time,” Evelyn says as Namjoon wraps his arms around her. “We’re sorry, we were just talking about decorations,” Y/N says as Evelyn looks at Taehyung. “So who is he?” “Oh right sorry this is Taehyung, my best friend and apart of my team.” “Well hello Taehyung, I’m Evelyn and this is my fiance Namjoon,” Evelyn says with a smile as she reaches out her hand for Taehyung to shake and nudges Namjoon to do the same. Taehyung gladly shakes hands with Evelyn but when Taehyung looked at Namjoon his smile faltered but nonetheless he shaked Namjoon’s hand. “So, um do you have anything in mind, dates or anything like that?” “Um well we are going to get married on April 19. It’s in the spring which I think it’s a better season to get married in, instead of summer.” ‘Well it was summer when me and Namjoon got married’, Y/N thought as she looks at Evelyn smiling. “Well it’s a good thing that it’s 4 months away so that gives my team time to get everything sorted out. You won’t believe how many soon-to-be brides get wedding coordinators only 2 months before-”, Y/N stops because she thinks that she’s boring them. “Sorry I was rambling off, so let’s get started.”

Taehyung looks at her weirdly as she talks to Evelyn about wedding ideas. ‘She’s never been so excited about planning weddings, maybe she’s trying to take her mind off things?’ Taehyung looks at Namjoon who’s smiling at him. “Hey, Taehyung right? I’m Evelyn’s fiance Namjoon”, he says as he’s holding a hand for Taehyung to shake again. Taehyung shakes his hand with hesitation. “Hey, yeah it’s Taehyung.” They were stuck with awkward silence as Taehyung thinks to himself. ‘So Y/N never mentioned me? Why didn’t she mention me to Namjoon?’ “Taehyung, Taeeeeehhhyyyyuuunnng”, Y/N says in a sing songy voice. “Huh?” “I thought I lost you, we need to head back to the office I have some things to go over with you”, Y/N says as she smiles at Taehyung, which makes his heart beat faster. “U-Um, yeah ok that’s finr”, Taehyung says as he’s silently cursing at himself. “Okay so Evelyn, I’ll see you and Namjoon tomorrow at 1 right?”, Y/N says as she’s forcing a smile at Namjoon since Evelyn was turned. “Yeah that be ok we’ll, see you all tomorrow”, Evelyn says with an excited tone. “Yeah see you all tomorrow”, Namjoon says as he looks at Y/N with an almost loving look, that almost, almost made Y/N’s heart scream with joy. As Namjoon and Evelyn were leaving, Evelyn was debating whether or not to ask Namjoon a question. “Hey babe”, Evelyn says with nervousness evident in her voice. “Yeah Ev, what’s wrong?”, Namjoon says as he looks at Evelyn with a soft look. “What was that back there?”, Evelyn decides to ask, hoping that Namjoon wouldn’t avoid it. “What was what, Ev?”, Namjoon says as he looks at Evelyn, hoping that she would just forget about it. “You looked at Y/N like if you are in love with her? I mean I noticed the way that you looked at her, I tried to let it go but when we left, you looked at her in way that almost made me believe that you are in love with her. But it’s nothing right?”, Evelyn says as her voice falters. “Baby,” Namjoon started as they approached the car. “I love you and only you, nobody else okay? I love you and don’t you forget that.” Evelyn smiles at Namjoon and grabs his hand. “I love you too Namjoon, it was probably my imagination.” Namjoon pulls Evelyn into a kiss, and they drive off. Little did they know that Y/N saw the whole thing and her eyes filled with tears as her mind drifted off to the times that Namjoon told her that he loved her. Taehyung looked at Y/N, he was slowly being teared apart knowing that his best friend and his love was still in love with Namjoon.

“So um Taehyung, me and Evelyn were talking about the decorations and she said that she wanted a pinkish, kind of color for the table cloths what do you think?”

“I think that’s nice color, just tell me how many table cloths I need so I can tell Elijah to go get them,” Taehyung says sort of distracted. “Tae, is something bothering you, you seem sort of distracted? Is it because of the wedding?” Y/N hopes that Taehyung was distracted by something else other than the wedding. “Y/N,” Taehyung starts out. “Why didn’t you ever mention me to Namjoon?” Taehyung feels as if he shouldn’t be asking this, but the need to know is much more evident than the guilt. “I don’t know Taehyung, I just,” Y/N says as her mind drifts off trying to figure out why she never mentioned Taehyung to him.

“I guess I was too distracted with Namjoon’s stuff that I guess it didn’t come up.” Y/N looks at Taehyung, “Tae you know me better than anyone, and you know that I cherish you so much, I put you through situations, and I made you sad, I don’t know how to repay you. I feel so guilty, I’ve treated you badly. Please don’t hate me.” Taehyung’s heart swells with joy and sorrow, he couldn’t believe that Y/N thought that she needed to repay her back. “I don’t hate you Y/N, you know that, and I know that you would be there for me when I need you the most.” Y/N smiles at Taehyung and pulls him in for a hug. “Okay so,” Y/N says as they pull away, “We need to start on this wedding, I want to get over with it as soon as possible.” “Ok, so Evelyn said that she wanted a pinkish color right well why don’t we put white along the walls.” Taehyung and Y/N spent the rest of the day talking about the wedding.

Fast forward 4 months have passed

Beep! Beep! Y/N’s alarm clock rang for the billionth time. “Wake up Y/N! We have a longggg day ahead of us,” Taehyung says with a smile. “I made some French toast, they’re a little burnt but that’s okay right?” “Its fine Tae, thank you, now leave I have to get ready for the wedding,” Y/N says as she pushes Tae out the bedroom. “Ok, Ok just know that if you don’t hurry up there won’t be anymore food for you,” Taehyung says, sticking out his tongue at Y/N and leaves Y/N alone with her thoughts. ‘Still can’t believe that, that bastard is getting married,’ Y/N thinks as she washes her face. ‘I wonder how, I put up with him, for 4 months my life has been hell.’ As Y/N approaches the kitchen, her mind was a mess, it took her all it could for her not to burst in tears. Taehyung. As they approach the church, Y/N feels as her heart was dropping. She catches Namjoon eye and he smiles at him. ‘I guess he really did forget about me, I guess I should forget about him as well.’ Namjoon approaches Y/N and grabs her wrist and pulls her into an empty room. “Y/N, I know I’m the last person that you would want to speak to, but I still love you, I tried and tried to forget about you and then Evelyn happened and she got you as a wedding planer and I fell in love with you all over again. All I want to do is just leave this place with you and go back to the times that we were happy,” Namjoon says as he pulls her closer to him. “Namjoon,” Y/N starts as she pulls out of his grip and looks at him sternly. “Weren’t you the one who told me that you wanted a divorce in the first place? You were the one who made me feel like shit for the first 3 months that you divorced me and then I got into a car accident and our baby died but did you give two fucks? No and just as I was about to finally get over you, you tell me all of this and you expect me to give all of this away just to be with you and have you hurt me again? I don’t think so. So I wish you and Evenlyn the best of luck and hopefully you don’t hurt her like you hurt me. Goodbye Namjoon.” Y/N left the room and saw Taehyung, told him what happened and the both of them left the church. Y/N felt relieved that all of that was now all behind her, she felt like her heart was more lighter and she was more happier. Hopefully she has a better life than before now with Taehyung.

Y'ALL I’M SORRY FOR NOT POSTING, I’M SPECIALLY SORRY FOR THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS, BUT SCHOOL IS KILLING MY ASS I HOPE THAT ALL OF YOU GUYS LOVE THIS AND DON’T HATE IT BUT HOPEFULLY

YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU LIVE, LOVE YOU - ADMIN LUPE♡♡♡♡

28 notes · View notes

joons-expensive-gurl · 7 years

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Lost Stars - Part 11

School was just as bad as you’d thought. Jungkook and Tae were secretly still fighting for your attention, constantly looking at you and trying to sit by you. Instead of giving in, you moved to sit by other people. One common denominator was Hoseok, since you already knew him to a point.

Jimin, over the time you’d been gone, had become so irritated with Jungkook’s and Tae’s now constant bickering that he’d isolated himself with Jihyun as his only company. Of course, once you’d returned, he allowed you to join their “new squad”.

Monday and Tuesday were the worst. Your lunch breaks were filled with all the horrific things Jungkook and Tae had done since you’d left. Jungkook had trashed Tae’s locker twice. Tae had thrown all of Jungkook’s work into the school’s toilets, it was so petty to say the least.

Wednesday was bearable. Two of your lessons became cancelled due to teacher illnesses so you got to spend more time with Jimin and Jihyun.

But one thing that was becoming more evident was time. You were running out of it. The wedding was now a month away. Your mother was absolutely frantic. Kijung was also permanently at home now, which only amplified her stress. You’d been counting the days since you’d last talked to either Tae or Jungkook and as time went on, you felt more and more empty.

You couldn’t avoid Jungkook forever. After all, he lived with you.

“I have an idea, why don’t you say what you have to to him while he’s sleeping? That way, you’ll have gotten it over and done with and he won’t even be able to argue.” Jimin suggested. “Isn’t that a little creepy?” You raised an eyebrow. “Not really. You know, if he’s not in REM sleep, there’s also a great chance he’ll hear you as well which will be a bonus.” “Sometimes I hate you.” “No you don’t.”

He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him.

“Don’t tell me YOURE trying to seduce her, now.” Came Jihyun’s voice as he strode over holding a bag of cookies. “Oh yeah. Totally. And she’s so into it.” Jimin winked at you and then rolled his eyes at his brother. “You wish.” You laughed.

~^*^~

Your mother and Kijung had gone out to eat, while you had stayed home. Jungkook was asleep in his room. So you figured now would probably be the best time to say what you had to say. As crazy as it sounded, venting to him asleep was better than nothing.

So, heart in your throat, you quietly moved up the stairs and to the door of his bedroom. Gently, you twisted the handle and opened the door. The room was dimly lit and nothing you’d expected. The walls were blue, the carpet grey, and the walls were covered in posters of musicians and space related articles. In all fairness, you had to give the boy credit. You’d expected hundreds of pin ups all over the walls. Jungkook was a deeper person than you gave credit for.

“So… uh…” you whispered in a hushed tone, “this was Jimin’s idea. To say what I have to while you’re asleep. He insisted even though I find this so creepy. But… here goes. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. Because I don’t hate you. I guess that in that moment I was just really, really angry. I mean, you and my best friend were having a punch up and I got hit. I also want you to know that I’m trying to just figure everything out. But it’s confusing. I’d really like it if you’d apologise to Tae. And of course I want him to apologise to you as well…. and Jimin. You both need to apologise to Jimin for fighting over me and causing him stress. I don’t want to see you fighting each other over someone as… someone as unworthy as me. Both of you can do so much better… anyway. I guess I’m sorry. You’ll have to give me time to figure out what to do. Im really thinking about it. Really. I’ll.. just go…”

With that, you shut the door and wen downstairs, face blushing in embarrassment. At least you’d finally said what you wanted to.

As the door shut, Jungkook let out a sigh, rolling onto his back. Because he was facing the wall, you had no idea he was wide awake. He’d heard everything.

“Fuck.” He muttered, bringing his hands to cover his face, “fuck.”

~^*^~

The next day at school, the first thing Jungkook did was apologise to Jimin when he was alone. Of course, Jimin graciously accepted the apology and agreed to be friends again under the condition Jungkook sorted out his problems with Tae. This was where it was tricky.

Tae was still pretty angry with the whole situation and it took Hoseok, Jimin and Jihyun to convince him to have a civil conversation with Jungkook. Finally, though, they agreed to meet up in the band room after school to sort everything out.

“Listen, man,” Jungkook started, “I’m sorry. You’re such a cool dude and we shouldn’t let a girl get between our friendship. I’d love to just… to just start things over for a second time. What do you say?” “Look, I can’t forgive you for fucking up my beautiful face, but how about we go back to Jimin’s place and get our final anger out on a couple rounds of Halo?” “Sure.”

They shook hands before leaving the school, talking like they’d never fought in the first place.

~^*^~

While Jungkook and Tae played, Jimin disappeared to give you a call. He told you that they’d made up (because of you. Jungkook told him he heard you. But Jimin didn’t mention this to you). He also insisted you came round and hugged it out immediately.

So you found yourself wandering to Jimin’s house in your sweats, looking like a potato. You didn’t even need to knock on Jimin’s door because once you were close enough, Jihyun opened up. He watched as you went down to the basement and shut the door behind you since he was staying upstairs. When they saw you, Jungkook’s and Tae’s eyes lit up. You walked over, congratulating them before hugging them.

An hour or so later, you decided to leave and Tae asked if he could walk you home to talk to you. You agreed.

“You go up first. I have to grab my stuff.” He told you. “Okay.” You did as he said, Jimin following suit. Tae turned to Jungkook. “Just so you know, this doesn’t make us friends. You’re cool but I’m still going after her until I’m too old to continue. And even then I’ll peruse her. No hard feelings?” “No hard feelings? You might as well rip my heart out. You’re an actual dickhead do you know that?” Jungkook snapped. “Of course. But just for [First]s sake, let’s pretend to be friendly.” “Whatever, man, go.”

Tae’s plan was in motion, what he didn’t know was that Jungkook was literally 5 minutes behind him, watching him walk you home.

The walk home with Tae was quite nice at the start. He joked about little things, just like what he used to do before this mess. But around the half way mark, things got deep. He began talking about the situation at hand and how it made him feel and how it would relate to how you felt, too.

“Are you glad I made up with Jungkook? Because I sure am.” He said. “I guess so.” “You know, he said he realised he messed up and that I should go for it.” He announced smoothly, trying not to smirk. “Go for what?” “You.”

He cupped your face with his hands, smashing your lips together. Just like last time, your eyes were wide with shock. You were frozen. But then you pushed him away.

“Don’t you dare. Don’t do this, Tae. Not now.” “You said that last time. When can I?” “When I figure everything out!” “What do you mean?! You’re actually considering fucking your step-brother?! Do you realise how fucked up that actually is?!” “You think I don’t already know that?! Fuck, Tae! You’ve made everything so complicated again! Just go home!” Your voice was becoming louder. “FINE!” He roared, before crossing the road in anger and disappearing.

Jungkook watched from a distance, anger bubbling inside of him as he watched you wipe your tears away. For a split second, he thought he heard you say his name. But you turned away and stomp off home. He followed slowly, unable to shake the feeling is anger he held for Tae.

~^*^~

As he crept past your room, he could hear the muffled sobs. He paused. He lifted up his hand to knock. He sighed. Then lowered his hand. Now wasn’t the time. You were also ready so confused, he didn’t need to make it worse. He moved slowly back to his room, shutting the door and lying with his face buried into his pillow. He let out a scream. This was so unfair.

~^*^~

“Tae… are you that stupid?” “She’s the stupid on, Jimin. She’s actually considering it. Do you know how weird that is?” “There’s nothing weird about it. They’re two people who have feelings for each other. What’s wrong with that?” “Um, how about the fact they’re legally brother and sister?” “Not yet, Tae. They aren’t yet. But you know what is weird, the fact that she genuinely sees you as a brother in her life and you’re trying to get in her pants.” “I am not. I’ve liked her since I met her, you know that.” “Yeah and you also know you had your chance a couple of years ago when she had a crush on you.” “That’s not the point.” “It is, though. You had your chance and you missed it. Jungkook’s next in line.” “Are you my friend or what?!” “Of course I’m your friend. I’m just being honest instead of telling you what you’d prefer to hear. Tae this is [First]’s happiness that’s on the line right now. I can’t lie to you about what to do just so you’ll be happy.”

Tae groaned, standing up from the kitchen table and storming out. Jihyun watched from the stairs as Tae left, slamming the door behind him. Jimin was right - this was getting messy.

~^*^~

“[First], I need you to stay behind for a bit after school. You missed a lot of work and I want to ensure you’re caught up.” The teacher spoke, voice hushed. “Alright.”

You were drained of any energy you could have possibly had. Last night, you’d come to the conclusion that Jungkook was the one you wanted to progress with. Tae hadn’t shown up for classes and you were worried you’d completely ruined your friendship with him.

After another 40 minutes of the teacher droning on, it was almost over. You just had to get through the catch up session with your teacher and you were done for the day. Freedom was so close yet so far away. The clock ticked as the seconds passed by while your teacher continued teaching you new things.

As soon as the clock reached 4, you were let go.

~^*^~

The strumming of a guitar lead you to the music area of the school. You walked to the end of the hallway where the door was slightly ajar. Someone was inside playing.

A voice.

‘Please don’t see Just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies Please see me Reaching out for someone I can’t see’

You stepped forwards, pushing the door open a little more to see someone sitting in the centre of the now almost abandoned room. He was strumming a guitar, voice like gold. He lifted his head. It couldn’t be… it was Jungkook…

Take my hand Let’s see where we wake up tomorrow Best laid plans Are sometimes just a one night stand I’d be damned Cupid’s demanding back his arrow So let’s get drunk on out tears’

You couldn’t believe it. The voice of gold, it belonged to Jungkook of all people. There was no possible way. Your eyes were glued to his face as he sung. It was all too surreal.

As he continued the song, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. You couldn’t stop listening to the beautiful harmony he was creating.

'Who are we Just a speck of dust within the galaxy Woe is me If we’re not careful turns into reality Don’t you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer’

What?

Your mind went back to the kiss with Taehyung. Was it possible Jungkook saw you? But… was Tae really a lion? Was he truly a predator out to take you down?

Even through your thoughts, you continued to listen to Jungkook sing. And as you watched him play the chords, you knew what you had to do.

'And I thought I saw you out there crying And I thought I heard you call my name’

Your eyes widened, again, in completely and utter shock. There it was. Confirmation he’d seen you and Tae. You’d cried. You’d called for him to save you. But if he did, why didn’t he go to you? Why didn’t he rush over and hold you?

Thinking, you listened as he strummed along to the end of the song.

Letting him finish, you quietly moved into the room, then dropped to your knees at his feet. He didn’t notice your presence until you leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips. His eyes widened in surprise, noticing it was you, then he melted into the kiss.

It truly blew you away at how simply perfect this kiss was. The music had built up so much atmosphere that the kiss was like the climax of the song, despite it finishing.

You pulled away from him for air.

“[First]…” “Don’t. I made up my mind. Just let me talk to Tae, and then everything will be okay.” You whispered. “Okay.” He leaned back down, connecting your lips with his once more, “let’s go home.”

#Lost Stars #Jungkook #Jungkook X Reader #BTS #Queuetan Soneyondan

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