#there’s a second angsty piece in the reblogs and then a happy ending for anyone who wants to read them!

[inklore]

break the chains

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premise: it’s been a month of spending your summer days with eddie. a month that is closer to coming to an end. the feelings that have grown between the two of you within those days meaning a lot more to you than you want them to.

pairing: eddie munson x richgirl!reader

word count: 6.6k

warnings: eighteen+ content, quick mentions of oral sex, come eating, weed mention, time jump, anxiety and panic attacks, blackmail, angst angst angst, fluff in the beginning to even it out tho, hickeys, mention of doing spicy things in public (fingering), trauma and emotional abuse at the hands of shit parents, diet culture.

etc: ok so like this chapter actually fucking killed me to write, like it was all over the place and just angsty and wow can these two get a happy ending yet my godddd. but i kept thinking about this little fluff piece i wrote for them and how it happened days before the events of this chapter and it made all of this hurt even more.

i do not give anyone permission to translate or repost my work, please be respectful — if you enjoyed please comment or reblog!

The Dio song from one of the many mixtapes that Eddie has generously gifted you over the last month—“to enlighten your musical taste buds” he had told you as he handed you two of them, then a third the week after that—plays loud enough that you’re surprised the neighbors have yet to complain.

Your parents had ditched you; was it still considered ditching when you refused to go when your father would only ask out of pity from your mother not asking you? Escaping to their summer cabin with some friends for the weekend, leaving you home alone and blissed about it.

The three of you living like disgruntled roommates as you tried to never be home when they were. Them never asking you where you were, who you were with, what time you came home or left the house.

You’re sure if you dig deep enough it makes you sad to know no one truly cares about your well being. That they probably would only notice you’ve disappeared once they realized you weren’t cashing your monthly check.

But avoidance of feelings is bliss and while your parents weren’t taking up space in your childhood home you were going to make the most of it.

Which is why you’re sat at your bedroom window waiting to see that old rusted van come down the road, sticking out like a sore thumb, completely out of place with the large statured homes around it—and the barley scraping the owners salary, cars sitting in the driveway.

When you had called Eddie earlier, once your parents took that first step out of the door and you were finally rid of them. You had picked up the phone and with little to no convincing he was agreeing to come over.

“What do I get out of it?”

“To see the inside of my castle.” You teased.

“Is that an innuendo?”

You scoffed, “you wish, Munson.”

“Oh yes, many a’wasted stars have been used for wishes on you, my fare lady.”

You roll your eyes, that cheesy smile on your lips when you say, “are you coming over or not?” You wait a few seconds, a minute, what feels like forever as your heart beats in your chest, “I miss you, or whatever, just come over!”

He’s chuckling into the receiver, you can hear his loud footsteps throughout his trailer. “I’ll be there, princess.”

After you've hung up you feel a tinge of embarrassment, don’t know why you said that. Went and told him you missed him like you haven’t spent the last month spending nothing but time with him. Getting high. Making out. Sucking him off. Him returning the favor.

The two of you had to take a week respite because your lips had felt so chapped from how often you found yourself in a lip-lock with him, once you were done puffing and passing on the never ending supply of weed he had.

And within that week you may have warded off kissing, but that didn’t mean Eddie stopped touching you. Or returning the favor that felt more like something else than a favor.

When the two of you had walked in high as a kite to see a late showing of Pretty in Pink, a movie neither of you wanted to see but it had been the only thing showing, and had told Eddie it was his turn to see how the other half lived.

“The other half goes to see Pretty in Pink?”

“Yes! All of my friends love Molly Ringwald.”

“Therefore every person with a trust fund wastes their daddies hard earned money for tickets to this snooze fest?”

“Munson,” you had fake whined. “You’re killing my high right now, all I want to do is go watch a movie and eat some really bad-for-me popcorn, okay?” You held your hand out as the two of you stood in front of the theatre in the town over. A theatre that looked too fancy for Hawkins residences, let alone the inebriated like of you—not to mention it was the only theatre open right now and that you were sure of wouldn’t be housing any of your so called friends, or people who would think twice to see you and Eddie walking hand in hand into the theatre as you dragged his grumbling form along.

And what you had expected to happen while the two of you sat in your seats as the movie played—sharing the popcorn, banter, more complaining from Eddie that would be better than the movie because you’d get to hear his laugh and nothing beat that nowadays—did not happen.

Instead his lips were close to the shell of your ear, his hot breath making goosebumps prick your skin as he whispered in your ear. His fingers bunch up the bottom of your skirt as they move up your thigh, pulling your legs apart so he can push his fingers between them and inside of you.

Your no kissing rule because your lips hurt being dead in the water as your teeth bit into your bottom lip to stop yourself from moaning—trying not to let the other patrons know that the boy beside you was making you come on his fingers.

Eddie Munson was full of surprises.

And so were you the day you had found yourself at the local bookstore, Lord of The Rings in hand, and looking completely out of place. And maybe you had always meant to read it because you’d heard in passing that it was good, you wouldn’t consider yourself a person too interested in reading. Your mother had always said being too smart wasn’t something a man wanted, but being too stupid would land you a shitty one.

You had been made to fall somewhere in the middle. Not hating or loving having a book in your hand.

But hearing Eddie talk about it one night as the two of you laid high and spent on his couch, your heads touching as he lay at one end and you the other. His fingers dancing in the air as he spoke about the book, the world building, the characters. How he made them come to life and you could barely understand a word he was saying—how it was filled with passion, something that went into the same sentence as Eddie Munson perfectly, as peanut butter did jelly; it just made sense.

It had made you realize you’ve never heard anyone talk about the things they liked, loved, like he did.

Your parents barely touched each other let alone spoke of passion about their love. Nor did your ex with anything he spoke about, or your so called friends; unless it was in malice by putting someone else down.

Just as you were learning to roll the perfect joint, and the world of Tolkien; the more time you spent with Eddie the more you realized you’ve never smiled this much in your entire life. Or enjoyed your days in this shit town more than you have in the last month, and you loved it.

There had been fear with that realization. There still was fear. Fear of how long it was going to last. Fear of having to go back to your real life, the reality of it, in less than a month's time. How you would have to say goodbye to Eddie eventually.

Because this was just summer fun. A fling. A…whatever to pass the time while you were at home. It held no substance. Was the behavior of a silly girl with a crush your mother would say if she knew.

But you didn’t have a crush on Eddie and going back to your life before this, before him, wouldn’t be as bad as your chest made you feel each time you thought about it.

It’s not like the two of you were serious. You were friends who got high together and made each other come. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Or so that was your internal mantra every night Eddie brought you home, every night you had to resist the urge to ask him to stay at his place, to burrow your way into his arms forever so you wouldn’t have to leave his side and go back to your castle where you were unwanted.

Because while the two of you may have only shared kisses, joints, and bodily fluids—at least in those moments spent together, laughing, teasing, talking about life, you had felt like you mattered. That you weren’t just being used for someone else’s benefit. A robot in the machine of the sad pathetic life of a rich girl who had everything but hated it all. You weren’t a fucking cliché when you were with Eddie.

You were you.

And the summer wasn’t over yet, so when reality came crashing down then you’d worry about it. You’d pack your bags and go back to your life and be fine.

As the mantra goes.

As luck would surprise you, it doesn’t take much effort to sneak Eddie in through your back door; giving him specific instructions to park in the signature location and sneak his way through your yard—without looking like a total creep to any neighbors that could possibly be nosy-ily peeping out of their windows.

When you hear the soft knocks at the door your heart does an annoying leap as you race to swing it open. Trying to hide your amusement as you see him grip his knees as he doubles over trying to catch his breath.

“Your yard is bigger than my trailer, shit.” He fans himself with his ringed fingers dramatically.

“Don’t participate much in gym do you?”

“This body is made for love not torture,” he waves a hand along the front of him.

And yeah, maybe your body feels things from how tousled his hair looks from running, or the way his chest is heaving, the collar of his shirt sitting low enough to give you the perfect view of his necklace —of the tantalizing column of his neck you love to run your teeth along.

And maybe it’s also the way the porch light shines down on the leather of his jacket and dark jeans—always filled with holes—but you’re just now realizing how much you missed him in more ways than one, a way that has a dull throbbing starting between your legs.

You wordlessly grab his wrist, pulling him through the threshold and right to your chest. Your hands finding the warmth of his chest through his jacket as you look up at him with a sly smirk, “maybe you should show me this love you speak of.”

The heel of his sneaker finds the edge of the door swiftly kicking it shut as he leans his face down into your space. “Anything for you, princess.”

While your feelings for certain things—Eddie—may have been morphining and changing into something unexplainable to you; the act of the two of you only keeping your physical relationship strictly oral had not.

If this were any other guy, that you knew, he would have already moved on. Every guy loved blowjobs, loved to cop a good feel of what you were working with. But holding out for sex? When there had been plenty of times for it to happen?

Maybe you had just been seeing the wrong guys. Had let the wrong ones take up space in your life and made you feel inclined to please, to give, but never to take or receive. To do what was expected of you.

And maybe you shouldn’t classify every guy into that bubble of misogyny and insensitivity. Because Eddie was the opposite—so much so that it proves your track record of guys were not the right ones.

It’s not like you were holding out to see his resolve. To see if one night he’d actually act or initiate it. If he did you know you’d gladly do it. Gladly let him, someone worth it, inside of you.

Instead of the usual parasites.

But maybe that’s why you haven’t done it.

Why you’ve stopped yourself from pushing it to the next level. Because Eddie was good. Too good. For you, for the confusing feelings you got the more you spent time with him, for the fact that you were leaving at the end of summer and all of this would probably fade into the background noise of your life and you two would forget about each other and move on.

Deep deep down mixed in between those fuzzy feelings you get every time his fingers brush against yours when you’re walking beside each other, or passing a joint—your heart stopping when he kisses the side of your throat, when he’s between your legs, when he’s actually listening to you talk about things he doesn’t quite get and vice versa—if you fucked Eddie Munson you don’t think you’d be able to leave.

And that scared the shit out of you.

Because it was both incredibly ridiculous and stupid all on the same hand as it was so bitterly-sweet that it fucking hurt your chest to even think about.

So you swallowed it down like every other feeling. You let it pass. Let it drift to that lump in the pit of your stomach where you stored the things you’d never be able to have, obtain, because of who you were.

“Fuck,” Eddie gasps, his chest heaving. As he shoots rope after rope of cum across your chest, the heat from it giving the tops of your breasts a tantilizing burn—your eyes casted up at him as you watch his mouth hang open, adore the bruise you had sucked right below his jaw, love the way his eyes roll back and hips stutter as his fucks his fist, getting out every last drop from the head of his cock.

There’s drool coating your chin, drying and becoming cold in contrast to the rest of the air in the room; the smell of sex, come, and desire filling your childhood bedroom full of a different type of heat than the one outside.

Your throat feels raw and swollen from letting him fuck it, from how deep he had gotten. It brings a sweet smile to your lips remembering how he had asked the first time you told him he could, that he didn’t have to treat your mouth as if it were something fragile, that you would not break because of him–for him was another story.

“Are you sure? This is alright? Shit, that–yeah–fuck okay that feels good.” His cheeks had been a pretty pink, a nervous flush that soon turned into something needy and depraved.

You’d always think Eddie was pretty like this. Pretty in general.

Even if the word was miles off from how he normally looked, his brooding scary stature that most would swear off.

But that was the beauty of you being with him like this; you saw him, in ways no one else had and that meant too much to you.

The pull of the corner of his mouth as he looks down at you, his breath coming back to him, his eyes lazily filled with satisfaction and admiration, has your stomach plummeting into regions of your own need—and other places that are being ignored. How his bottom lip pulls into his mouth as he lets two of his fingers run along your chest, skating across a nipple making your breath hitch as the pad of it gathers the remnants of his come and brings it to your open mouth.

Your lips wrapping around them, tongue swirling around the tips to gather his taste and swallow it down as you suck them clean. Your eyes never leaving his as you do so.

It's crazy how well the two of you have grown to know the other body. What turns you on, what gets you there faster, the words you didn’t know you needed to hear in order to make your orgasm more intense.

There had been brief conversations over joints and a shared six pack. Eddie enclosing to you what he thought about late at night when he fucked his fist, and where your thoughts would lead you when you were all alone in your room with your hand between your thighs. The both of you sharing wants, needs, and things you’ve always wanted to try. The conversation being a pivotal one to you and your insides, the comfortability to talk about such things was something that you'd look at as far fetched if this were two months ago. But now it felt like the simplest thing in the world, easy, special to your used-to-being-closed-off feelings.

What was Eddie Munson doing to you?!

After you’ve cleaned yourself up, Eddie being as gentlemanly as ever as he helps you to your feet, hand in his as he pulls you to your ensuite to set you on the counter and run a wet cloth over your messy chest. A look of precision as he does so. Like a doctor holding a scalpel.

“And there, all perfect once again.” He grins, sets the cloth on the counter as he rights your top. Hands lingering to rest at your hips as he stands between your open legs.

“I think it was perfect the way it was.”

“Ooh,” Eddie leans in to you, mouth centimeters from yours. “Of course you did. Sometimes I forget how much of a depraved sex demon you are.” He snickers as he presses a quick peck to your lips.

Dodging the slap you give to his arm as he moves towards the door to run out of the bathroom as you chase him, hollers and giggles filling your room as he throws a pillow at your head.

“Eddie! Not the pillows my mother will–” another hits you in the face before you can finish your sentence. A shrug of innocence on his face when you scowl at him, a low growl in the back of your throat as you ignore your own words and pick up the small pillows your mother had knitted herself—that were gaudy and ugly but insisted you decorate your room with, as if they were classy and not actually tacky.

The two of you spend the next ten minutes shouting and tossing pillows, and whatever else you can get your hands on, until Eddie wraps his arms around your waist and tackles you to your bed. Your back hitting the plush duvet heavy and hard with his weight over you.

“I didn’t call you over here to wreck my house!”

“You should have been more clear on the phone then,” his cheeky smile has you about to give a playful pat to his cheek but then he’s grabbing your wrists and pulling them over your head.

“You’re cleaning this up!” You grunt as you try to lift yourself from his hold to no avail.

“I think it gave the room some life, it was too..” he makes a face as he looks around your bedroom, a grumble echoing through his chest. “Pink.”

You can’t help but laugh, “pink? That’s the best insult you have, not that it looks like it was decorated by a sixty year old grandmother? Pink?!”

“I was trying to be nice.” He makes a face, tries to hold it, but his laughter seeps through.

“Eddie the chivalrous.”

That soft look of admiration is in his eyes again as he presses down, his chest flush against yours as he moves closer to your mouth with his. “Only for you.”

“I think the press would love to know about this.”

“‘Hawkins Freak actually a decent person, who would have thought’. What a headline.”

Your chest tightens, a small frown washing away your happy expression. But you don’t let it stay, let it stick. Don’t let Eddie see as you use all your strength to pull out one of your wrists from his hold to bring it to the back of his head, fingers splaying in his hair. “I think it’s a perfect headline.”

“If thy majesty approves then who am I to argue?” His smile morphs against your mouth as the two of you kiss. “Now, should we get back to the real reason I’m here?” His brows waggle dramatically as he rolls off of you and onto his side, fingers dipping into his front pocket to pull out a joint.

There’s an array of condiments and chip bags littering your island as you lean over it, chin in your palm as you watch Eddie make his version of nachos. Your throat dry and burning from the joint and the laughter that keeps slipping out from him, your stomach caving in as you try not to grab a handful of shredded cheese and toss it into your mouth.

“Trust me, one bite of these and your fancy smancy country club will be put to shame.” He declares with conviction, points a finger in your direction as he puts the concoction into the microwave and lets the ‘magic happen’ as he says.

“I don’t think they serve nachos there, this is already an unfair fight.”

“I never thought a sentence could hurt me until now.”

You roll your eyes, “they should change your name from freak to dramatic.”

He shakes his head, “doesn’t have the same twang to it.”

“Twang?!” You laugh, covering your mouth with your palm to stop the echoing of your giggles throughout the large kitchen.

Eddie bites back a grin as he watches you lose it, leaning himself on the opposite counter, arms coming to cross over his chest. “What kind of food do they serve to the Royalty anyway?”

Once you’ve given yourself a stomach cramp from laughing too hard and have caught your breath you’re shrugging your shoulders. “I wouldn’t know, I’m only mandated a salad.”

“Mandated?”

You nod, “yeah.” A chuckle slips in between a puff of air, “my mom thinks it's proper for a lady to keep a healthy diet. Therefore what she eats I eat.”

“Always?”

“If I’m accompanying them, yes.”

“I’m guessing no is not in her vocabulary?”

“You’d guess correctly.” You can feel the ill feeling from the conversation bubbling up in the pit of your stomach, that sting of perpetual dread you get when you think or talk about your parents with anyone. As if your body is waiting for the sickening pity that’s going to come from them, you don't need anyone pitying you. Or the ‘you have everything, your parents can’t be that bad’ that was worse than the pity. Like a reprimand of the damage your parents have done to whatever part of your brain that holds your feelings—and traits that make you turn into a decent human being. Both parts have dents and nicks no thanks to them.

But Eddie’s not looking at you with either of those things on the horizon of being spoken. Something that doesn’t surprise you, but does make you chew happily on the skin of your bottom lip.

“And when you’re away?”

“She’d have an aneurysm with all the takeout boxes in my dorm room.” You joke but the thought actually brings you a dark kind of joy, “I should just order a steak the next time I’m forced to play happy family with them.”

“The biggest.”

“Juiciest.”

“You have to get fries!”

“Fries? Forget an aneurysm, it’d be cardiac arrest!”

Eddie’s chuckle, the rise of his still blush tinted cheeks, the way even after having wrestled with you and taken a few pillows to the face his hair still looks perfect—you know, from the smell, but also having seen his bathroom, that he spends way too much money on hairspray—makes those annoying flutters bother your insides again.

When the microwave goes off you can feel your mouth watering from the smell wafting from the nuked chips he pulls out. The cheese melted to them looking burnt and fried, like it’s going to take some effort to separate them. Eddie grabbing a few condiments to scatter across the chips; sour cream, hot sauce.

After he’s done he holds it out in front of him with a smirk, “ready to taste heaven?” You make a face, trying to suppress a smirk of your own at the innuendo that’s dying to come out of you, that has him shaking his head. “Don’t tell me.” He says as he walks past you and heads towards the stairs.

“What?!” You’re laughing as you follow close behind.

As hard and nuked as the nachos looked, as much as you figured—expected—them to taste like something they’d serve you in middle school and call it lunch; they tasted amazing.

And maybe it was how high you were and how you were still rolling off of the sex endorphins, or maybe it was because Eddie had made them and everything he did just felt, tasted, was better. But it was almost obscene how you were hoovering the chips down, sour cream coating your fingers.

Eddie’s fingers looking the same, “told you, can’t get enough, huh?”

“I’m just high.”

“Mhmm and I passed biology.”

You snort, a chip flying across the plate from your fingers to land—sauce free—against his chin and then onto your duvet. “Yes, they’re amazing, we can add Eddie the chef to your resume.”

He makes a show of doing a fake bow as he pops the chip you threw into his mouth.

Your thrown chip leading into the two of you trying to see who can catch one in their mouth on purpose this time. The stains that would surely be present in the wash was sure to give your mother heart palpitations—good.

You couldn’t find an ounce of caring about it, about her, about anything other than this moment. The way Eddie’s missed his fourth chip and it’s landed in his hair, sour cream coating one of his curls. A look of dramatics one his face.

“Unbelievable.”

“It’s just a little sour cream, Munson. You’ll wash!” You tease, trying to hide your laugh by putting a chip in your mouth.

“It’s just three inches away. Aim better!” He mocks back at you as he cleans the white from his brown lock.

“Oh it’s my fault that you can’t catch?”

“I see why cheerleading was your top pick, that’s all I’m saying.” He holds his hands up in defense, the playful grin on his face making you scowl at him.

You don’t think, only react, as you scoop up a dollop of sour cream and toss it at him, it landing on the front of his shirt.

The look of astonishment on his face lasts for half a second before his finger is scooping it back up, jumping across the plate of nachos that crunches under his weight, to tackle your back down onto your mattress and swipe his finger—and the sour cream—against your forehead and hairline.

“Eddie!”

“You started it!”

“My bed!”

“My shirt!”

You let out a frustrated puff of air, look over at the mess on your bed, at the front of his shirt, up at the coolness of the white you can’t see but can feel drying against your skin.

And then up at Eddie the both of you holding stoic faces until you can’t hold back the laughter any longer. Your chests vibrating against each other as you laugh in the crook of each other’s necks. And it’s like it all clicks; something changing in the air, inside of you.

It wouldn’t matter if you fucked Eddie or never fucked him, if things just stayed like this and you never took those next steps, went to that next level: it was going to be hell leaving this behind either way.

This comfortability, these nights spent together, all that’s been shared, that’s been discovered, these feelings..this crush.

It was going to tear you in two no matter the circumstance. No matter the level. You could convince yourself otherwise all you wanted, but your heart knew.

So why should you wait? Why should you continue to hold back?

It was obvious you both wanted each other, that it wouldn’t take much to get to that level. It’s been dangling right there in front of the both of you since the first night you spent together.

Maybe it was time you faced this reality and stopped running from it.

And when Eddie pulls his face from your neck, smile faltering when he sees the serious look on your face, eyes still soft as ever; your choice is made.

Fuck it.

Your palm comes up to his cheek, thumb running across his bottom lip. There’s a need and want thrumming through your body that you hope he can see in your eyes. Hope he can read it through your touch, through your unspoken words—the heavy beating of your heart speaking the syllables you can’t.

You’re positive he knows because he doesn’t say anything just presses his lips to yours. Connecting your mouths in an agreement that you wish you would have settled on weeks earlier.

Eddie’s shirt is the first to go, him balling up the material to clean the gunk from your forehead and hair. A laugh shared between the two of you before your lips reconnect, before your shirt is peeled from your body. His body slotting perfectly between your legs, his hardness pressed to your thigh through his jeans. Your hips gyrating in attempts to ease the ache between your thighs, to get whatever friction you can against him—to feel him.

His lips attaching themselves to the side of your neck, sucking your sensitive flesh into his mouth. Teeth scraping against it causing gasps to fall from your parted lips. Body pushing up into his. Hands in his hair.

You were really going to do this.

Finally going to do this.

You're about to moan his name, about to ask him if he wants this as bad as you, but then the ring of the doorbell from downstairs has the two of you freezing.

Your breath caught in your throat, heart stopped.

Your parents' friends knew better than to call before dropping by. Your mother hating unexpected guests—needing time to put on her fake game face.

And your friends were barely in existence.

“Expecting someone?”

You shake your head, “only you.”

A half smile pulls at Eddie’s lips before he pulls off of you and the two of you right yourselves. His hand comes out to grab your wrist and pull you to him before you reach the door. A deep kiss pressed to your lips from his as he speaks against them, “hurry back.”

It’s a tenderness, on the cusp of being romantic that has you forgetting how to breathe for a second. Almost as if you don’t recognize the boy in front of you.

Until he opens his mouth again, “I really don’t want to clean up this mess myself. Especially when it was your fault.” He grumbles as he motions towards your messy bed.

The moment gone. Lost.

Somehow making it even more special.

“Don’t boss a princess around.” You tease as you slip through your bedroom door, closing it behind you and skipping down the steps. Hoping that maybe it’s just some neighbor kids messing around and you can get back to Eddie, and what you were about to do, quicker.

Conversing with a neighbor or someone you knew was not something you were in the mood to do right now.

But you put on your signature fake smile just in case as you open the door. The mask faltering, your face dropping, heart hanging heavy in your chest when you come face to face with your ex.

While you’re freaking out on the inside the cocky smirk he has on his face is picture perfect.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He chuckles under his breath as he doesn’t wait for you to invite him in. Pushing his way past you and into the foyer.

The feelings inside of you quickly mold into aggravation.

“What do you want?” You slam the door, a little too hard. “Why are you here?”

“I can’t come see my girlfriend?”

The laugh you let out is obnoxious and pretentious and lathered in humor and ‘get real’ with a touch of ‘in your dreams’.

“I’m not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms. “I thought the fact that we haven’t spoke, let alone seen each other in two months, and me telling you to fuck off the last time I saw you was enough of a confirmation of the fact.”

“Couples fight.” He shrugs, that smirk still in place. Still making you want to drive your fist into his face.

“We are not a couple!”

“Don’t be childish.”

It sounds like your mother. It’s her voice that you hear when he says it. It’s the same red rage you see when she says.

You open your mouth to tell him to fuck off, to get out of your house, that it’ll be a cold day in hell before you ever torture yourself with being with him let alone being around him.

But then he’s saying, “Carol said she saw you with that freak Eddie Munson.”

“Don’t call him that.” Your mouth, heart, speaks before you comprehend the words, the meaning of them, the threat that’s bound to follow them. Your chest sinking until you feel like you might get sick. Your body now adding nerves into the mix of your aggravation.

And all you can think to do, the only thing that your mind can compute right now is to deny deny deny. Lie. Do what you’ve been trained to do your whole life.

Ignoring the pang of pain you feel in your gut at your words, “get real.” You scoff, roll your eyes. “Just because I don’t want to be around her bitching doesn’t mean I’m hanging out with the steerage.”

He nods, pressing his lips together in a tight expression that lets you know he’s not buying it.

Can’t bullshit a bullshitter.

“I don’t care what you’ve been up to, who you’ve been hanging with.” He strides to you, putting him too close in your space that it just makes you even more nauseous at the smell of his expensive cologne. His thumb coming up to press into the side of your neck—a hiss leaving your lips, a feeling of childish humiliation washing over you as you realize Eddie must have left a mark from earlier. Your hand comes up to cover it. “Or who you’ve been fucking.” His hands slip into the front pocket of his dress pants, “you’ve had your fun, saw what it’s like to run with the lower class. But now it’s time to come back to reality.”

He presses a chaste kiss to your cheek before he’s moving past you and over to the front door. Opening it and stepping between the threshold. Looking back at you to add, “we’re going to get back together or I’m going to break the news to your parents, let them know their daughter opens her legs for anyone these days.” He gives you a smile before he’s shutting the door behind him and leaving you alone—with your heartbeat pounding in your ears, the aggravation gone, the nerves making it harder to breathe, the threat playing in a loop in your head to the point where it’s only his voice you can hear.

And only your parents faces, the horrific look you know they’ll give you. The screaming in your face you know your mother will do. How she’ll call you ungrateful and tell you how disgusting you are.

Your father will look at you as if you’ve murdered someone. As if you’ve put shame on his name, like they’ll never be able to show their faces in town again. Like you just ruined their lives. Like you’re pathetic, and for what? For falling for the town freak? For spending time with him? For finding someone who actually makes you feel good?

No that’s not allowed and you’re stupid for thinking it could ever be.

“What were you thinking? You stupid girl!” Your mother will yell.

And maybe that’s exactly what you were. A stupid girl.

What were you really thinking spending all this time with Eddie?

Lying to yourself thinking that this would wrap up in a happy little bow. No one finding out.

You were stupid to think so.

When you finally drag yourself up the stairs to your room Eddie is sitting at the edge of your bed, teeth biting at the beds of his nails, knee bouncing.

You notice that he’s cleaned your blanket off. That the music that had been playing isn’t anymore, when did it stop? Did you turn it off? Was it ever on?

You don’t remember. Can’t think.

Your heart feeling like it’s going to burst in your chest.

The look on his face, a look you wished to never see on those features. A look you know you’ve caused.

“Did you-”

“Hear it all? Yeah..yeah.” Eddie stands. Runs his hands down his thighs, taps his finger against his leg as the both of you stand there awkwardly.

The first awkward moment you’ve ever shared.

Once again caused by you.

All of this mess caused by you.

Your fault.

Stupid girl.

“Cats out of the bag now,” he jokes. Tries to give you the smallest of smiles but you don’t return it. Can’t and it makes his face fall as you start to pace.

Your hands shaking. There’s fear and heartache making your blood boil, making your limbs feel weird, making your head spin.

“It’s a good thing you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me or this might be realllll-”

His sentence is cut off, unfinished when your eyes connect. When he sees the look on your face that does the opposite of denying his words. You can’t even open your mouth to save face, to tell him that’s not the case because would that even be true?

The two of have been sneaking around. Have gone out of your way to keep it a secret. You thought it was a mutual agreement that yes, while you weren’t embarrassed to be with him, that it was best that no one knew. That your parents never found out.

It’s not like this was anything. It was nothing. The two of you were just hanging out. It didn’t mean anything.

Your pacing stops as does your breathing when you realize you’ve said those words out loud.

And if the look on Eddie’s face before had hurt the one that he was giving you now was enough to make you want to fall to your knees.

He nods, chuckles weakly under his breath. “The steerage will see himself out. So long, princess.” He says without another glance to you. Without looking back at you, without yelling at you the way you know you deserve right now.

But that wasn’t Eddie.

You weren’t brave and he wasn’t a fighter.

What a match.

You don’t wait to make sure he’s gone before you let out a broken sob, the burning behind your eyes finally coming to the forefront to have hot tears pouring down your face. You can feel your heart shatter in your chest, knowing that the sweet summer you’ve spent alongside Eddie is over.

As is the hope you had held out in your heart that maybe a different life was something you wanted for yourself. That you could tell off your parents. That you could feel something other than dread. That you could actually be yourself with someone.

That maybe these feelings could withstand past the summer and you’d actually be happy to come home on holidays because you’d get to see Eddie.

But maybe these were just more lies you were good at telling. Because look where hope got you, where feelings got you.

Your mother was right.

Girlish feelings only ruined things.

And you’ve gone and ruined everything.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson series #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #heavy metal love !

[deancaskiss]

do you think dean ever dreamt about kissing cas or holding cas or being able to trace his fingertips over cas’ lips? and then he woke up and reached out for cas, seeking cas’ lips so he could press their mouths together… only to realize it was just a dream and cas wasn’t curled up besides him in bed and he couldn’t just reach out and kiss cas or pull cas closer because that’s not who they are… but dean wants it… he aches for it so badly he stumbles out of bed and rushes down the hall and he stands in front of cas’ door and he pressed his palm to the wood and he almost does it… he almost knocks on the door and he almost walks in and he almost pulls cas into a kiss because he knows the angel isn’t sleeping and it would be so easy and natural and god it would feel so right… but he doesn’t. he turns around and sulks back to his room… because he knows cas doesn’t want him like that… cas couldn’t possibly love him like that…

#dean winchester #destiel #castiel #spn #supernatural #deancas #casdean #continued in the reblogs #i wrote something in the reblogs so check that out #there’s a second angsty piece in the reblogs and then a happy ending for anyone who wants to read them! #destiel headcanon #deancas headcanon

[staticscreenwriting]

HOME // Bucky Barnes

Request: Could you do a Bucky Barnes imagine where he blips but the reader is pregnant so when he comes back he meets their daughter? If not that’s totally understandable and I hope you have an amazing day/night 💕

A/N: Look, I love writing angsty Bucky. But I also love writing happy Bucky. Hope y’all love reading this ♥  Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated.

Join my taglist here! [additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Thanos being defeated was not the end of it all. It seemed like it. The grand heroic solution to all problems. The ultimate test before things got better. Before they got easier.

That was a lie.

Bucky looks across the vast area of the Stark’s estate as people, all dressed in black, mourn the loss of a dear friend, an idol, a husband, a father.

That word sends a wave of anxiety and fear through him. He knows he can’t run forever and really, he doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t know how to deal with — everything. How to be the man he needs to be. How to step up and not fuck this up.

Sometimes fear makes you do stupid things, really stupid things. Like avoiding the love of your life because you are too afraid of what she might think of you.

His eyes find (Y/N) as she leans against a tree, lips pulled into a sad smile as Sam rambles about one thing or another next to her. This isn’t right. Sam shouldn’t be the one cheering her up and trying to get her to smile. It should be him. If only he wasn’t such a coward.

People don’t talk about these things though. They only talk about those that had been gone now being back again. They talk about the joy of being reunited but not the fears, the sadness, the disappointment — and they sure as hell don’t talk about the guilt.

The guilt of coming back after 5 years to find out you missed so many important moments in the life of a child you never knew you had.

His eyes wander down towards the little girl holding on tightly to her mother’s hand. She has his eyes, his dark hair, his lips. She’s a spitting image of his younger sister. A Barnes through and trough.

Every time he looks at her his heart beats out of his chest in a way he’s never felt before. When they say that the love for your own child is an instant emotion, they are not wrong or exaggerating.

The moment he came back from oblivion and first laid eyes on her, it felt like his heart had known her all his life. He wanted to hold her and shelter her from all the bad things the world might throw her way. Wanted to kiss her little nose and read her stories and sing her silly little songs. He hated singing but for her, he wanted to do it. Just because that’s what dads do.

But fear is one hell of an emotion and above all, it’s terribly convincing.

He’d never had a particularly good example of a father. It was different times then. Different ways of raising your child. Fathers weren’t meant to show affection, they were meant to enforce rules and order. How could he ever be good at this? He doesn’t have a single clue how to do any of this.

And then there’s the fact that he’s left (Y/N) alone to deal with all of this. Every first has been forever taken from him. First breath, first cry, first word, first steps. Every little thing.

Would she resent him for it? For not being there when it mattered?

So he ran. He came back and he ran.

She doesn’t deserve this and neither does (Y/N). They deserve so much better.

“ It’s time Buck. “ Steve speaks up as he leans against the porch railing next to his oldest friend.

“ Are you still sure about this? “ Bucky asks, not taking his eyes off of his girls. His stomach feels like he’s swallowed a bag of bricks. Life was supposed to be easier after Thanos. This isn’t easy. This is just scary. And sad.

“ That, “ Steve says and nods his head towards (Y/N) and the girl “ that’s your second chance. I gotta take mine. “

Bucky turns to look at his friend trying to figure out what to say next but coming up empty. What do you say to that? Steve deserves to be happy. He deserves to be where his heart always has been. Does it mean Bucky thinks it’s the right choice? Not necessarily. But he understands. Had it been him and (Y/N) he would’ve crossed time and space to be with her.

Which is ironic to think because now all he does is avoid her. Because that’s the coward he is.

“ Alright let’s go. I’ll grab Bruce you do — whatever you gotta do. “

He dares to send one last look towards (Y/N) and this time she’s looking back with a soft eye and a timid little smile on her lips. None of which he is deserving of.

Steve let's go of Sam, parting with one last friendly slap on the back before turning towards Bucky.

Bucky's throat feels dry and rough and while his head is swirling with words he wants to say, none of them really make it past his lips. He's known about Steve's idea for a few days now, has had time to let it settle and come to terms with it. It still breaks his heart but sometimes that's what you do for the people you love. You support them on their path to happiness even if it hurts you in the process.

"I'll miss you," Bucky finally manages to say and he wraps his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You'll always be my brother."

"I know. I'll miss you too. But I know you're in good hands." Steve responds and lets his gaze wander towards the house, no doubt talking about (Y/N) and the kid.

"Promise me something, Buck." He says as he pulls away.

"Anything."

"Talk to (Y/N) and get to know your daughter. She's a Barnes through and through. And she loves you so much, they both do. Let them. Love 'em back."

"Kid doesn't even know me," Bucky murmurs, nervously glancing at the floor.

"What? You really think that? Buck, all we did for the last 5 years was try to keep your memory alive. For us but especially for her. We showed her pictures and videos and (Y/N) told her so many stories. She knows you and she loves you and for the first time in her life, she's living in a world where her dad is alive and present. Go, be with them. You guys need each other."

He's right. Of course, he's right. Steve has this fantastic ability to be right when it matters.

“And don’t do anything stupid until I get back!” Steve adds, making a small smile appear on Bucky’s face.

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you. “

They embrace each other one last time before Bucky whispers another “I’ll miss you” and Steve tells him that “It’ll be okay, Buck”.

And then everything happens so fast. One moment he’s living in a world where his best friend is by his side and a minute later all of that has forever changed.

Bucky wipes his eyes with the back of his hand one last time before looking at himself in the mirror. He knew this moment was coming, Steve told him. He had time to come to terms with it and yet it’s a completely different situation now that it’s done. Parting with the only family you’ve ever known breaks your heart in ways you’ve never known are possible.

As he steps out of the bathroom something solid crashes against him and as he looks down, a pair of identical blue eyes stare back at him. He’s not been this close to her since he found out about her, keeping her at a distance. To protect her.

His arm was made to kill how could it ever hold a child and keep it safe?

She stares at him for a moment before a small “Hi” falls from her lips. It’s shy and timid and adorable and all Bucky wants to do is cuddle her to his chest and never let her go.

He doesn’t get the chance though as another little girl rushes past them and calls out to his daughter to follow her which she does.

“Who is that?” Bucky hears Morgan question.

“That’s my daddy, but I don’t think he wants to see me. Mommy says he needs time but —“

He doesn’t hear the rest of her words as the girls round the corner and get swallowed by the sounds of the other guests still mulling around sharing stories about their fallen hero.

But it’s enough. He doesn’t need to hear more. Those words are enough to rip his heart out of his rib cage, crush it up into a million little pieces, and spread it in the winds, never to be able to be put together ever again.

“Hey have you seen — oh Bucky are you okay?”

He doesn’t deserve her tenderness, her kindness, and her care, and yet she still exudes the same love she’s always held for him. Love he was never deserving of from the beginning.

It doesn’t matter at that moment though, who deserves what and who doesn’t. He’s too caught up in the breaking of his own heart. So he falls into her arms as silent tears slowly but surely make their way down his cheeks.

“She thinks I don’t want to see her.”

“Who does?” (Y/N) says as she gently combs her fingers through his long hair.

“My own daughter. “

(Y/N) pulls away slightly, holding onto his shoulders and looking deep into his eyes.

“Are you ready to talk about this now? Ready to stop avoiding me ?”

Bucky only nods and lets her lead him outside past the guests and down to the lake where it’s quiet and serene and life seems to slow down a little. She keeps holding on to his hand, his vibranium one, as they settle on a bench facing each other.

“ I missed you, Bucky.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

He’s been told those words so many times and it’s still hard to believe in them. Even when he knows they’re true. There will always be a hint of doubt since him. Always.

“I don’t — I don’t want her to think I don’t love her. Or want to be with her. I do love her very much. More than I have ever loved another person, including you, and you are my everything. I’m just overwhelmed and — and scared.” He admits. It’s the first time he says those words to anyone but himself. It feels good. It feels right. But it doesn’t take the fear away or the guilt.

“James, she knows you love her. Not a day went by that I didn’t tell her how much her daddy loves her and wants to be with us. And it’s okay to be scared. I was scared and I only had to deal with a baby, not an opinionated 4-year-old. It’s okay to be scared but you can’t let the fear hold you back. You’re the bravest man I know. You laugh in the face of danger. What changed?”

“Stakes are higher this time. What’s losing my life compared to ruining my daughter’s?”

“You’re not gonna ruin anyone’s life, Buck.” (Y/N) exclaims and softly pets the side of his face. She’s always been so gentle with him. Such a contrast to the touches he was used to.

“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad. Mine wasn’t a very good example. I have been trained to kill, to cause pain. My arm is a weapon.”

“Your arm has shielded me from bullets and harm so many times. It’s held me close at night and wipes my tears when I was sad. Your arm is only a weapon if you use it like that. And all the other stuff, that’s not you anymore. You know this. “

He can see the treads now welling in her eyes too and it makes his heart twist and constrict in many painful ways.

“And I left you alone during all of it. Missed the last 4 years of her life and the entire pregnancy. How am I gonna make up for that, for leaving you alone?”

It feels like once he’s started talking he can’t stop. All his fears and worries flow from his lips like tidal waves in an ocean. Crashing against the shore of truth.

“You didn’t leave us Bucky. You were taken from us. We never blamed you for that. I know you wanted to be there. I never doubted that for a second. Look, I had 9 months to come to terms with my fears, you didn’t have any time to face them. I get why you are freaking out but uh — it’s time to step up. You know what makes a good dad? Being there when he can be. Showing he cares. Can you do that?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I can.” Bucky promises and smiles a smile of content. One of hope. His fears and his guilt aren’t gone. But maybe if she believes in him and Steve does, maybe he can be the man and the father he needs to be.

“Good. We really do love you, Buck.”

“As in present tense?”

“Of course. We never stopped. Now can I ask one more thing of you?”

“What’s that?” In the end, it wouldn’t really matter. Whatever she asks he’ll do it. For her, he’ll do anything.

“Can you kiss me? I’ve been waiting for 5 years to finally kiss you again. I can’t hold out much longer. “

He grants her not one kiss, not two. In fact, he loses count as they get lost in many many loving kisses. Maybe, Bucky thinks, soulmates really are a thing. Maybe there are people on this earth meant to find each other. Meant to go through hardships together and still find their way back to one another in the end.

Whatever one chooses to believe in. Bucky is certain she is his person in this life and the next and through whatever might come their way.

He’s sitting on the big red couch in (Y/N)’s apartment, nervously fumbling with the tassels on one of the throw pillows as his eyes wander around the room. There are so many pictures, hung on the walls and placed on side tables and shelves. His child’s entire life up to now, caught on film for him to relive if only in his mind.

There are pictures of him too. One of him and Steve in the 40s, laughing and leaning against each other in support. (Y/N) always said it was one of her favorites. “You’re so happy in it. That’s how happy I want you to be all the time.” She’s told him once.

Next to a picture of (Y/N) and their daughter is a picture of him. He’s sure it’s placed there deliberately. To remind everyone he is a part of this family, even when he wasn’t there.

He is here now though. The next picture put up will be one of all three of them.

The front door opens and a melody of voices echoes through the place. (Y/N)’s laughter and the sweet giggle of his little girl. It’s his favorite sound in the world, he decided then and there. Nothing will ever compare.

The girl rushes into the room then comes to an abrupt stop in front of him.

“Hi,” she says in the same small voice as she did at the Stark’s house. Only this time Bucky doesn’t just stand and stare at her, unable to move or speak.

This time he holds out his arms and speaks up.

“Hi, I — I'm sorry it has taken me so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. I love you, Darling. Can I hug you?”

She doesn’t say yes or no, doesn’t glance at his vibranium arm with hesitance of fear. She falls right into him, wrapping her little arms around his neck and cuddling into his chest. It feels like this is where she belongs, like this is where she was always meant to be. Like his arms were made to hold her and never let go. And maybe, Bucky thinks, maybe they were.

“I love you too, daddy.”

He liked being a sergeant. It’s a title that has always filled him with pride. It has nothing on the title of being a dad. That one means so much more. Fills him with a pride and love he’s never previously known.

For the next few moments, he gets lost in the feeling of holding his child. A perfect little girl who is part of him. The good. Only the good. It all comes together in her. No nightmares or guilt or fears. Only love. So much love. He holds her close to his heart, wishing he could’ve done this when she was just a baby. Feel her heart beat in rhythm with his. He places little kisses up and down her small face. On her chubby little cheeks and her cute bottom nose, making her scrunch it up and let out soft giggles.

It’s strange to be the man he is and act so gently with another human being. But it feels so right.

His eyes find (Y/N)’s across the room, filled with tears though this time they are happy ones. With an outreached hand he beckons her over and pulls her onto the couch and into the hug.

This is right. Nothing has ever felt this real. This happy. This perfect.

His girls cuddle into him with nothing but love filling their hearts. This is the life he wants, the one he has always wanted. The life he fought for. The life he will never stop fighting for.

Steve was wrong. They aren’t his second chance.

They’re his only chance.

His destiny.

His family.

His home.

TAGLIST:  @stayherefor-evermore  - @booksb4looksstuff​ - @captainofallfandoms - @charmed-asylum​

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x female reader #Bucky Barnes x f!reader #buck barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #james barnes x reader #James Barnes x female reader #james barnes x f!reader

[carewyncromwell]

“For one so small, you seem so strong... My arms will hold you, Keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken... I will be here -- don't you cry...” ~“You’ll Be In My Heart (Radio Version)” by Phil Collins

x~x~x~x

Okay, after that last piece I did with Jacob Cromwell, I figured he deserved some happiness -- so here’s a snapshot of Jacob and Carewyn from a happier time...namely, at 16 and 7 years old respectively, before Jacob got fully ensnared in R’s web. This would’ve been the same year that -- as referenced in the game Hogwarts Mystery -- R targeted Carewyn and Rakepick ended up protecting her...and for those of you who have read the still unfinished good!Rakepick AU, I think you can totally see why Rakepick ended up protecting this sweet little child who loves her brother so much and is so, so happy to have him home. 

Jacob and Carewyn Cromwell were always very close, from the moment Carewyn first appeared in Jacob’s life. Not only did their father Evan Bach kind of emotionally unplug completely from Carewyn’s life, so someone needed to fill that void, but both Jacob and Carewyn were born with very strong Legilimency potential, which made them both kind of subconsciously latch onto each other’s minds and never really let go again. Carewyn in particular, being such an empath with her abilities, made it so that she could very easily read and was very easily influenced by her brother’s feelings, and with Jacob being able to consistently predict other people’s behavior, including his sister, it made him a surprisingly good caretaker, predicting her desires even before she could properly articulate them. Because he could predict whenever baby Carewyn was about to start crying, or when she wanted to get to the other side of the room, or if she needed help reaching something, he could bridge the gap and help her with whatever she needed before anyone else. And Carewyn in return fed off of Jacob’s enthusiasm and reciprocated his encouragement and unconditional love ten-fold, knowing in the back of her own mind and heart just how much her big brother needed it. This makes it so that they really were each the best confidante they’d ever had, which -- partnered with Jacob’s intense protectiveness of his little sister -- makes it very obvious why Jacob was so terrified of R hurting her and ultimately why Carewyn’s whole world and life fell apart when her brother vanished. There’s a reason why in two incredibly angsty AU scenarios I wrote where Jacob loses Carewyn or Carewyn loses Jacob, the remaining Cromwell sibling completely falls apart -- Jacob and Carewyn truly do understand each other in a way no one else could, and that bond is only strengthened after Carewyn rescues Jacob from the Portrait Vault and they both have to fight and live together more as equals after their age gap has shrunk from nine years down to two. 

Jacob’s shirt is based off this design -- those of you who can pick out the reference might understand the choice, given Jacob’s adoration for the King Arthur mythos and overall nerdiness. Meanwhile Carewyn’s dress is loosely based off of the one Anne Boleyn wears in Six the Musical, solely because I took a liking to it a long while back and so I’ve consistently draw little!Carewyn in it since the very beginning. (I headcanon it being one of only three second-hand dresses she owns and has to wear multiple times in a week.) 

Hope you all have a lovely day! As always, please consider liking/reblogging/commenting, as well as checking out 

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #jacob #jacob cromwell #carewyn cromwell #my art #evan bach #seriously though look at precious bean carey-bear #as if rakepick could've been expected to hurt this darling bb #I could actually see ben making black knight references too after he both toughens up and then chills TF out in year 6 #like when he's training with the circle of khanna he gets his face cut open and carey goes into fussy mama bear mode #and ben just goes 'just a flesh wound' #and carewyn's trying hard not to giggle bc damn it ben that's funny #also I had such feels listening to this song again while drawing/editing this :') #art

[onlythebrave-mp3]

my top 2020 fics!

okay! so i recently jumped back into this fandom after a couple of years, and started reading fic again, and i wanted to rec some of my favorites that were written this year. there’s ten on this list, and i probably could’ve done like 30 but this is already so long lol. it’s kind of in a general order, so #1 is my fav for this year, but i tried not to focus on the ranking too much because it stresses me out and i don’t need any more anxiety so it’s ended up being a pretty vague system.

1.  Our Lives, Non-Fiction (113k) by @indiaalphawhiskey 

listen. I’ve reblogged this fic like 10 times. I’ve read it twice already and it came out less than 3 weeks ago. It is an instant classic, right up there with fics like TIF or Wear it like a Crown. It has gorgeous, gorgeous writing, a thoroughly developed plot and well written character development, and such a compelling story. It is a marcel/louis fic, and I usually shy away from that kind of thing, but i’m so glad i didn’t this time because god, this one is so good. Seriously, if anyone ends up reading it, come and rant to me about it and we can cry together. Halfway through the second chapter, I created a note on my phone so I could keep track of everything I loved, and my comment on that fic is essentially a love letter to @indiaalphawhiskey. It's just so good. If you’re going to read one fic off this list, read this one. 

2. Loving You's a Bloodsport (106k) by @rosesau

okay i’m pretty sure this one made me cry like four times, which is a feat for me because i’m not usually a crier. Its soulmates with a little bit of a twist, and the plot is so well developed. Harry and louis’ feelings and their progression are written so vividly and i wish i could forget that i read it so i could go and read it again for the first time. It's also got some enemies to lovers, which is my favorite trope, and all of the side characters are beautifully developed as well. Prince!Harry, soldier!Louis, angsty soulmates. What more could you want? Oh and if you’re not convinced enough, here is a quote that fucking follows me around because its so beautiful: “Love and hate are two sharp knives balanced on a very fine line and I’ve cut myself on both because of you.” (ohmygod)

3. Mine Would Be You (114k) by @crinkle-eyed-boo

okay this one is listed at number three but it really should be 1c lol. I started this one at 11 pm like an idiot, and i don’t think i slept that night at all. It's Exes to lovers, and it's so well written. It switches between the past and the present, it's  heartbreakingly beautiful, the breakup and resolution are both so realistically written as well, and there's a great ot5 plotline too that i really loved. This one was also an instant classic- i bookmarked it before i even finished reading it. It's also got beautiful art and Louis and Harry are both artists in NYC, which I'm a slut for. Please read this one, it's so good.

okay i just realized how long this got so i’m putting the rest under the cut

4. The Murmur of Yearning (93k) by @mediawhorefics (for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me tag them??) | mediawhore on ao3 

I just finished this one, and my goddddddd it's so good. I read it in a day, and it's essentially 100k. Which isn’t that unusual for me except I did skip a class to get through it (an exam prep class. Not my finest moment but I passed. so.) There are tons of original characters that draw you in, and the whole world that is created is so fascinating and detailed. There's also no homophobia, so if you like historical fics but get triggered by that kind of thing, this is for you! Also, if you’re worried about the non-con elements, I'm sure you could message the author but also feel free to check in with me! I’ll definitely be rereading it in the near future and am totally up for discussing and crying over this fic with anyone.

5. Remember Me Fondly by @bluejeanlouis | kiddle on ao3 

ahhhhhhh this one made me sob too! It's set in both the present and the past, and I fell in love with all of the characters. This one is also heartbreaking, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Also, they way this fic deals with the fame and the homophobia and tours that harry and louis went through -even if it isn’t actually canon and is set in the 90s- is so vividly painful and realistic. It's written half through a journalist’s eyes and half through harry and louis, yet the switch in pov is so seamless and fluid and adds so much to the piece. 11/10.

6. Nothing But You On My Mind (83k) by @absoloutenonsense | nonsensedarling on ao3

okay. I started this in the middle of the night, and told myself I'd read one chapter to see if I liked it and then I would go to sleep. I'm pretty sure I read like 6. It sucks you in right from the beginning, and there's such a well developed plot. And it's so unpredictable and all of the details are so nuanced and tiny and then you look back at everything after you’ve finished it and go oh. Ohhhhhh. This one is also enemies to lovers. Are we sensing a pattern here?

7. An Invincible Summer (44k) by @twopoppies | Brooklyn_Babylon on ao3 

so as you can see this one is only 45k but i just love it so much that i’m rec’ing in anyways. It’s such a gentle, exploratory piece of literal art, and I kind of want to stay in the world that was created forever. Its set in the 1940s on a farm and i know @twopoppies has said that it started off as an excuse for barn sex, but it such a vivid story and its heartbreaking and emotional and uplifting all at once and please please please go read this. The only critique I have of it is that it's only 40k.

8. Somewhere in Between Lightning (99k) by @nauticalleeds, @shiningdistraction, and jassy117 on ao3

So this one's exes-to-lovers as well, and it's written in such a realistic way. Also i’m in love with the concept of louis on love island, despite the fact that he said he hates it. There's a sauna scene that I still think about sometimes. It's got just the right amount of angst and fluff and pining and despite the fact that it's set on a show that is usually pretty dramatic and unrealistic, this is written in a really beautiful but pragmatic way. I love it. i’ve got it  downloaded on my phone so I can read little snippets of it sometimes if I have to wait somewhere.

9. You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) (95k) by @harryrainbows | lucythegoosey on ao3 

god so this one incorporates some of Fine Line into it, and wouldn’t say it's a song fic so much as it is written as a canon compliant fic that ties harry’s songs into it and its done so fucking well oh my god. Harry and Louis are exes in this one too (lol i'm sorry) and the build up of them getting together and the pining and longing is written really well.

10. At Risk, I Fold (15k) by @bearmustard | clare328 on ao3 

so i know this one is only 15k, but I put this in the list anyways. It's canon compliant, and it does mention the stunts (as stunts), but don’t let that deter you. Harry and Louis are written almost exactly as i’ve imagined them, and this one is such a heartbreaking look into the resilience and love and bravery that they have. It made me cry despite the fact that it’s not really a glum fic. The only reason it is last on the list is because it's shorter and i was mostly intending this to be a long fic rec. The love that they have for each other really shines through in this one, and it’s super gentle and soft and sad and happy all at once and just please go read it.

#my fic rec #hoping this doesnt flop lol #if people like this i might do more #we'll see lmao #also #if you ask me who tops/bottoms #in any of these fics #you owe me $10 #reading fics specifically for who takes it up the arse is weird <3

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt.8]

Pairings:  Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death.

A/N: **TW: A certain death is finally explained in this chapter. It is the second half of the chapter. It’s not in crazy detail but there is some important plot stuff mixed in.  I decided to post despite someone stealing my work. 😤 Thanks to my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​​​ for looking this chapter over for me. Enjoy the sad I guess. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

Stepping away from music for those ten months turned out to be the best thing you could have done for yourself and your career. Without the small reprieve, you doubted you would have found your way back to teaching, and you loved teaching. Not that it had been intended as a break at the time you walked away. You had every intention of never looking at another sheet of music again, but then Bucky came home and things became more complicated and somehow easier. You doubted that he knew what he was doing, and why should he? It wasn’t as if he had planned on coming home to pick up all your broken pieces so he could help put you back together. He did -- whether he realized it or not -- help you get some of your old life back. The bit that you could take with you into this new one. You even called a few of your former students and asked their parents if they were interested in picking up their lessons. Most said they would love to pick up where you left off, and a few said they found someone new in your absence. You couldn’t blame them. The world had continued while you chose to stand still.

Bucky must have noticed a difference because he told you he liked how pretty you looked when you were smiling. 

Lessons started with the school year, and fall was here before you could blink. You were surprised to find you weren’t dreading the holidays as much as you thought. It would be the first holiday season since you got the call and you had expected it to feel like the rest -- hollow and grim. Along with Easter and Memorial Day, you had skipped celebrating Steve’s birthday. There was a small cake you shared with Bucky, three bites in, and you couldn’t force any more falsities down. You spent the rest of the night in your room. It was one of the rare nights you hadn’t slept next to Bucky since he had been home. You needed the night to yourself, and he understood that. By morning, your wedding ring had found its way from your ring finger to a chain that Steve had given you years ago. It felt strange at first. From the moment Steve slipped it on your finger, it rarely left your skin, and when you did, it always felt like there was a piece of you missing. That feeling didn’t show up this time, but you imagined there weren’t many more pieces of you that could go missing. You didn’t want to make it a big deal, so you kept it tucked inside your shirt. Of course, Bucky noticed the absence right away. He never questioned it. 

It was a step forward (or maybe backward you weren’t sure some days). They were small, slow steps taken, but at least you were moving.  

You’re not sure when it happened, but one morning you woke up and everything didn’t hurt as bad, you guessed it started right around the time Bucky came home. While moving forward was necessary (as everyone continued to remind you), there were days when it felt like a betrayal. You are moving on, and Steve can’t come with you. A little guilt blackens your heart every time you smile on those days; so you falter and take those arduous steps back. It lessens with every laugh and smile Bucky draws out of you, but it’s there under it all, and there’s the fear too. You’re afraid if you move on and keep up with the rest of the world you will forget. You will forget everything you and Steve had, and it will be as if you were never anything at all. Bucky shook his head when you confessed that to him late one night with your forehead pressed firmly against his shoulder, fighting your sleep and the nightmares you were sure would follow. 

“You’re holding on to the past, Y/n. You gotta let it go. I’m not sayin’ you have to stop lovin’ him, but you gotta let go of the part of Steve that’s keeping you from moving on and being happy. Or it’s going to continue to tear at you until there’s nothing left.” 

“And if I forget him?” 

“You won’t, Trouble. You can’t forget a love like that. Trust me, I know.”

Bucky didn’t elaborate, and you didn’t dare ask. He’s never mentioned anything about falling in love in all the years you’ve known him. You’ve never seen him hold onto a woman for longer than a month and the idea of Bucky being in love, holding on to that love all these years without ever getting to know it turns your stomach inside out and shades your heart a bitter green. You’d rather not dwell on those feelings long enough to understand them. 

Neither of you spoke about it again, and you were thankful. You didn’t think you could handle discussing Bucky’s long lost love when you could barely pick out an outfit. You’ve been staring at your clothes for an hour now, and everything either looked awful or felt wrong. Maybe you needed to buy new clothes and start from scratch. Every piece you owned had a memory stitched into the fabric, and you didn’t need to be reminded of things you would never have again. Bucky pulled a grey flannel out of his closet, and you reached across the bed, yanking it right out of his hand to slip over your head. That would have to work for today. Bucky rolled his eyes and turned back to the closet to grab a blue Henley for himself. 

You always did like the way he looked blue. 

“I can go see Sam so you can have some time alone with Tasha and Wanda.” 

You didn’t say anything. Just gave a simple nod of the head, refusing to look up from the pile of clothes on the bed that now needed to be put away. You could leave it. The girls would be here any minute, and with Bucky gone, you could deal with it then. Bucky reached out to wrap his fingers around your wrist and gave a gentle tug, forcing your gaze to follow the motion up to meet his eyes. He ran his thumb over the soft thumping in your wrist and stared at you for a while as if he was working something out. 

“Or,” Bucky suggested gently. “I can stay right here and work on my bike.” 

Your lips curled up in a small smile despite your brain’s wish to keep them in a permanent frown. 

“Okay,” You agreed with an easy smile. You slipped your wrist out of Bucky’s loose hold and made your way towards the door, stopping before you crossed the threshold and looked back at him with a deep frown replacing the pretty smile you were wearing only a second ago. 

“You don’t have to babysit me, y’ know?” 

Bucky’s laughter was followed by an exasperated groan. Of course, that was why you were upset. 

“Yeah, I know. You’re just fine on your own.” 

There was no fighting the grin Bucky’s words caused. “Yes, I am. But… you can hang around if you want to.” 

“I’ve meant to clean up my girl anyway. I’ll hang around today, Trouble.” 

Bucky assurance made your heart rest a little easier and maybe his too because he looked relieved when you nodded. The doorbell broke your silence and forced you to leave his side; you barely made it to the top of the stairs when you heard Bucky mutter, “Pain in my ass.” There was a fondness in his voice that made your heart leap. 

Even though you were back to teaching you made sure not to overwhelm yourself; Tuesdays and Thursdays you worked late into the evening. It was nice to have something to look forward to, and Bucky always had something to eat ready when your last student left around 8:30. That was nice too. 

Natasha had called earlier in the week wanting to come over Thursday night, and you had to explain that you went back to work. There was silence on the other end of the line, and silence was never good with Natasha. She was probably mad you didn’t tell her and that you were keeping things that important hidden, but it wasn’t something you wanted to advertise. Besides, Friday was as good a day as any to have the girls over. No one had to work the next day and took some of the pressure off. Everything felt normal when Natasha and Wanda arrived; you shared a hug or two. Okay, three. Wanda liked to hug, and she showed you the muffins she baked while Natasha held up a bottle of something that looked as if it could melt the glass it came in. You didn’t know what you expected. You hadn’t thought you would feel so excited to see them. Not because you didn’t love them, but having excitement around anyone but Bucky has been rare these last few months.  

Sometimes the unexpected was good. 

You chose to sit on the window bench that happened to overlook the side yard where Bucky had his black and chrome bike parked and was sitting on an old milk crate hard at work. That didn’t go unnoticed by Natasha. Not that anything ever does. 

“So are you two living together now?” 

You slowly draw your gaze up from the wine glass in your hand to look at Natasha and Wanda, who was skillfully avoiding your eyes as she blew on her tea for far longer than necessary.  

“Yes. Is that a problem? It’s not like we talked about it or anything. It just sort of happened.” 

Natasha shrugged in answer to your question and waited for you to go on. She wanted more of an explanation, so you rolled your eyes and explained why Bucky was staying with you. 

“He didn’t have anywhere to go when he came home.” 

Natasha smirked at the suggestion that Bucky would have been homeless if he hadn’t come to live with you, and you knew right away what you said had been a mistake. “Besides his mom’s, right? She lives twenty minutes from here. What about Sam’s? Or at my place with Clint and I? And I’m a hundred percent certain Sarah Rogers would have taken him in if everyone else in his life let him down for some unknown reason.”  

You turned to look back out the window right as Bucky looked up, catching his eye, and you felt the panic in your chest lessen. Bucky gave you that pretty smile and scrunched his nose at you before going back to work. You fought to keep your smile small and lost the battle before it even got started. Wanda’s voice pulled you back into the living room; it was gentle as if she was trying to offset Natasha. 

“I think what Nat was trying to ask is if you are planning on staying here together, or is he going to get his own place eventually?” 

“We haven’t talked about it. I suppose he will at some point, though...” 

You frowned at the thought. Why did that bother you so much? 

“He doesn’t have to do anything, you know?” Wanda added at the sight of your upset. “He might want to stay here.” 

“Maybe, but he has to move on eventually,” you added, dread filling your voice from the mere thought of Bucky leaving you. “He can’t stay here just to keep me from falling apart for the rest of this life.” 

They were right. Bucky will eventually want to get back to his life. He can’t babysit you forever.  There was going to come a time when he will want to date, fall in love, and get married. Maybe even have kids. Do all the things that you were supposed to do with Steve. The thought of Bucky leaving you to have that life with someone else made you sick, and you know it’s selfish. It’s unfair to expect him to stay there with you because you don’t want to lose him to someone else. 

“How are you doing?” Natasha sounded a little softer this time, sensing your unease. “Are you sleeping?”  

“Yeah, I started sleeping in Bucky’s room with him. It seemed to help.” 

They stayed quiet but shared a look. You weren’t fond of whatever that was.

“What?”

“It’s nothing.” Wanda rushed out far too quickly, but Natasha was quick to cut in, and by her tone, you could tell she’s been feeling this way for a while. “I’m just wondering how long you are going to keep punishing yourself?” 

Natasha stared at you and Wanda swore under her breath. They talked about this before coming over. That was clear by the glare Wanda was settling Natasha with. You briefly wondered how often your friends discuss you like that. More often than you approved of, you were sure. 

“I’m not punishing myself. I’m allowed to be sad. My husband died--”

“You’re right. You are allowed to be sad. Just like you’re allowed to find new things that make you happy and start putting your life back together.” 

“I’m fine, Nat. I don’t need anything new. I have our house and my music--” 

“And, Bucky?”

While she was right, you did have Bucky, in a sense. Bucky wasn’t new. You had a feeling what she was suggesting would be very new and not a notion you wanted to entertain.

“Natasha--” 

“It’s okay to be happy again, Y/n. It’s okay to let your heart get put back together and heal. It doesn’t cheapen what you had with Steve. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love him, and it doesn’t mean you are betraying him. You aren’t doing anything wrong by letting yourself find happiness again. Even if that happiness is found with Bucky.” 

You had a feeling what Natasha was hinting at, but hearing it outright like that made you a little queasy. Did people, your friends, talk about you and Bucky like this? Is that what everyone was worried about, who would get you next?  

“What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t act stupid Y/n. You’re a lot of things, but stupid isn’t one of them.” 

“He’s been my best friend since I was thirteen. It’s not-- It’s never been--” You took a deep breath and told them both, firmly. “He’s my best friend.”  

Wanda pinched Natasha’s thigh and grabbed your hands from where she sat on the floor between you and Natasha. “All Nat is trying to say is if you wanted to find happiness again... with Bucky or anyone for that matter, it’s okay. You’re not doing anything wrong by moving on.” 

“It’s been nearly a year since you lost Steve. It’s time to start picking up the pieces, Y/n. With Bucky or without. You can’t stay stuck in this in-between, and you can’t go back.”

You turned your gaze back out the window to catch Bucky staring at you. He quickly looked back at his bike and fiddled with the wrench in his hand. It reminded you of all those days he would hide you in Shop class so you could skip Geometry with Mr. Coulson. The memory makes you grin. The girls might be half right. Maybe you couldn’t go back, but that didn’t mean you wanted to let it go completely.

----

Three hours after Natasha and Wanda left, you found yourself wandering around the house with what you thought was purposeless. It started in the kitchen, and you slowly made your way through your home, somehow ending up in the doorway to Bucky’s room. Your heart must have told your feet where to go and left your brain in the dark. His hair was still wet from a fairly recent shower. The ends were darker than the rest and shiny from being wet. It wasn’t long enough to tuck behind his ears, but it was long enough that he could slick it back. His beard had become relatively thick due to his laziness these last few months. To be fair, most of his attention has been on you. When he mentioned trimming it a few weeks ago, you wrinkled your nose at the thought, and at the time, he had laughed. 

He never did trim it after that. 

Bucky glanced up at you, hovering at the threshold to his room, and he smiled, crooking his finger for you to come in. You pushed off the doorframe and made your way over to where he was resting on the end of the bed, wet towel lying on the bed next to him. You wanted to tell him it was getting your side of the bed all wet, but you thought better of it. 

It’s not your bed, after all. You have your own you should probably start to sleep in and let Bucky get back to living his own life. 

“Have a good time?” Bucky asked. There was a softness in his voice he saved for you and you alone. 

You shrugged.

“Tasha called me stupid on the way out. Got any idea what that is about? Should I be scared?” 

You grinned and brushed a fallen strand of hair back to lay with the rest. “I don’t know, but being scared is always a safe bet when Nat is involved. How’s the bike? It looked like you got a lot done.” 

“She’s good. Just cleaned her up a bit and changed the oil. You know, I like fiddling with her a bit, and she’s been sitting at my mom’s collecting dust.” 

You cupped his cheek and gently rubbed his cheekbone with your thumb. He nuzzled your palm right away, eyes falling closed, and he seemed to relax a fraction. There was tension in his shoulders you hadn’t noticed before, a darkness that has never lingered in his eyes this long, and his smile never quite reached his eyes anymore. He’s spent all this time taking care of you, and you never once noticed how badly he was struggling. 

He was lost just like you. 

“Hey.”

Bucky looked up at the sound of your voice and quickly pulled away from your touch as if he remembered he shouldn’t be doing that. You slowly drew your hand back, letting them drop to your side and choosing to sit next to him instead. 

“Wanna talk?” 

“‘Bout what?”

He looked dejected, troubled. A little scared, too. 

“What’s been weighing on your heart.” Bucky dropped his gaze, his tell for waiting to drop the subject, but you pushed a little more. “I didn’t see it before. I was too wrapped up in my shit, but I can see it now. The guilt and the hurt.”

If he honestly couldn’t talk, or didn’t want to, you would drop it. 

“Y/n, you don’t want to hear about that.” 

So it was about Steve’s death then. You had a feeling. 

“If I couldn’t handle it, I wouldn’t have asked. I need to hear it, Bucky, and I think you need to talk about it as well.” 

It took a long time before Bucky made any movements at all. He shifted further away from you, tossing the towel onto the desk chair and turned to face you. You mirrored his position tucking one leg under you on the bed and letting the other hang off the edge. He was still quiet, gathering his thoughts and a little courage, too. You nudged his barefoot with yours and he gave you a small smile.

“Steve was… He was walking in front of me. Like he always does-- like he did, and Sam was on our left.” Bucky licked his lips, tossing words around his head to find the right ones. This was harder than he thought it would be. 

“I wasn’t paying attention. I should have been. That’s my damn job. I was too busy staring at the damn…” Bucky stopped short, and the look of guilt he gave you said he feared you already knew his crimes and found him deserving of judgment. 

“At what, Bucky?” 

Bucky dropped his eyes and shook his head. 

“You’ll hate me.” 

“Bucky… I could never hate you. Nothing you could do would make me hate you.” 

Bucky closed his eyes, squeezed them shut really. He didn’t want to see your face when he said what he had to say next. “I was staring at your scarf. It was sticking out of his collar, poking up right out of the back of his BDU’s and all I could think about was you, and how I could never have-- I was distracted.”

He reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes with the palm of his hand. You had to stop yourself from reaching out and pulling him close. Bucky needed to get this off his chest and you needed to hear it. 

“Next thing I knew, there was a shot fired and then about ten after that. Maybe more. I don’t know. Steve was down, and at first, I thought he dropped to take cover, but my damn ears were ringing, and shots were flying everywhere. I tried to yell out, but I couldn’t hear my voice over the noise. Sam was trying to drag me away, but I couldn’t leave him lying there…” 

Bucky’s words became stuttered and choked. You could follow along, but you had to piece together the holes Bucky couldn’t fill. He explained how Steve had taken the bullet for him, how he had been distracted and didn’t see it in time. Bucky told you that he had pulled Steve undercover, and Steve had begged for Bucky to take care of you for him. Bucky left out the reason Behind Steve’s choices that day. You didn’t need to know that when Bucky asked why he did that, Steve told him with that stupid lopsided smile, “You’re my best friend, Buck and Y/n... S-she can go on without me. She can’t live without you though.” 

You wiped your tears away with shaking fingers. Bucky blamed himself for Steve’s choices and you couldn’t let him go on thinking he was at fault for something he had no control over. Scarf or not. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“Yn...” 

“No, Bucky. It wasn’t your fault. If it had been the other way around, you would have jumped in front of him. We both know you would have.” 

“But if I was--” 

“It’s not. Your fault, Bucky.”  

You crawled into his lap and pulled his head to your chest. Bucky tightened his arms around your waist, clutching at the thick fabric of his shirt still clinging to your skin. “I don’t blame you, and I know Steve wouldn’t,” You cooed softly in his ear. ”He would do it a hundred times over, and I know you would do the same for h-him.” 

Bucky tucked his nose into your neck and took a shaky inhale. The two of you sat like that as the glow of the room slowly faded from orange to dark blue. Bucky’s quiet sobs had settled into barely-there sniffs along with your own. There was a new heaviness resting on your chest, but despite the pain that came with knowing the truth, it gave you a tiny bit of closure. He never said if he believed you or accepted your forgiveness. You prayed he did. You hoped now he would be able to forgive himself, too.

“Bucky?” 

There a beat of silence. Bucky rubbed his beard against your neck making you shiver. You could feel a faint smile on your skin when he finally spoke. 

“Yeah?” 

Bucky slowly lifted his head, so the two of you were sitting nose to nose now, you were so close that when you whispered he could feel your breath against his lips, “I’m glad you came home… to me.” 

Maybe now, you could both heal and move on to something new. 

“Me too, Trouble. Me too.”

Previous // Next

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #past!Steve Rogers x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x yn #alternate universe #military au #tw: military death #tw: loss of spouse #tw: character death

[otptings]

Life Goes On

→Idols: Wong Kunhang & Xiao Dejun

→Requested: Yessss Hi!!! I’m a new follower and literally fell in love with your writing ^o^ May I request an angsty right person at the wrong time scenario with either Xiaojun or Hendery, thank you!

→Genre: Right Person Wrong Time, angst, fluff

→Word Count: 2.7k+

→Warnings: self degradation, implied cheating, Hendery's an asshole, Xiao's a savior, kinda self indulgent (apologies)

→Synopsis: Life's not far. You either have to learn how to swim or drown in your own misery.

→A/n: I honestly surprised myself when I finished this cause I'm actually behind on a couple requests but I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy reading this, and if you did please like, reblog or donate to my Ko-Fi in my bio. Requests are open for NCT, Enhypen, SVT, and Treasure.

Life isn’t fair, and it isn’t always right. Things don’t end the way you want them to, and no amount of begging or wishing or sacrificing will change fate. So you can only sit there, watch as life moves on without you in it. You either learn how to swim or drown in your own misery.

You swam.

Wong Kun-Hang, you’re child-hood bestfriend. The two of you met long ago. Back when the biggest problems were early bedtimes, or begging your parents for the newest toys. When scraped knees and torn tights were a constant part of your life. In the 2nd grade when he was the new kid, you were too nervous to talk to him so you gave him a special Valentine’s Day card, the one with the carton fish with the really funny joke on it that made you giggle while you were placing various heart stickers on it, accompanied by two pieces of candy instead of one. One of your parents had helped you sign it specially with your name, not just your initials. Although it was scribbled it was still readable. You were nervous walking up to his desk, fixing your school uniform as best you could before shyly handing it to him, trying to hide the heat that was rising in your cheeks and ears.

“Hi.” Kun-Hang looked up at you, a look matching yours on his face. You saw his paper bag for his cards was bare, Kun-Hang covering the front of it in the teacher’s cursive due to him not having time to decorate it. It was empty, devoid of any Valentines, and he hadn’t brought any to give out so he didn’t even have his own. It was sad compared to yours, filled almost to the brim with cute cards and candy.

“Hi.” Hendery’s voice was almost a whisper. He wasn’t prepared for anyone to talk to him, he had only been in your class for a week and hadn’t had enough time to make friends.

“I want to be your friend. Here’s a Valentine’s card.” Where you ignored the heat in your cheeks it was obvious to see Kun-Hang’s awkward smile adorning his face as his cheeks glowed a light red. It was too late to back down now, so you thrust the card out towards him and watched as he timidly took it before sending him a bright smile and scurrying off to your desk, the teacher’s voice telling the class to calm down.

You looked towards the teacher, patiently waiting for their instruction while Kun-Hang only looked at you, awe in his eyes while replaying the moment you walked up to.

Years have gone by since that fateful day that you handed him the card and declared that you wanted to be his friend and you’re still just as close. The day after Valentine’s Kun-Hang stayed by your side faithfully, sitting beside you at lunch and playing with you and your friends at recess. At first he was still awkward, not knowing just where he fit into your life, but everytime you held your hand out to him or handed him a spare cookie from your lunchbox he got a little more comfortable until you were connected at the hip.

As the friend group gradually grew smaller due to everyone else moving away or transferring schools, you and Kun-Hang stayed together, evolving into something more than just childhood best-friends. Shared cookies turning into something else just as sweet, innocent pecks when you thought no one else was watching, holding hands having a new meaning when he pulls you under the bleachers of your high school during your share P.E. class to hold you close  as he whispers his feelings for you. He was your perfect love story, your first and only boyfriend. Even now at 20, watching him live his dream life as an idol you still have the same feeling from the first time you met him, that bashful shy feeling as you watching him smile on stage and during fanmeets. The pretty diamond ring on your finger glinting in the various strobe lights they use for their concert, a comforting weight that makes your heart flutter when you think about the day that the two of you will get married.

Life always throws a wrench into pretty plans don’t though.

“It’s just not working out with her.” Confusion filled your mind hearing Hendery’s voice through the phone. Calling out his name gave you no answer. “She’s so clingy, she refuses to back off and give me any space.”

“Aren’t you getting married?”

“I don’t think I can go through with it. I don’t want to leave her at the altar though.”

“I thought you guys were perfect for eachother? Haven’t you been together since middle school?”

“I know, I know. I don’t think I ever liked her in that way. She’s my only relationship but I just don’t see her in that light. She’s more like an annoying little sister than a girlfriend.”

“You’re a fucking douchebag Hendery.”

“I know. She really loves me, but I don’t think I ever saw her romanctically. She was the only option. I really don’t want to ruin the friendship, but I don’t love her.”

You don’t remember hanging up the phone. Or sending him the message.

You accidentally called me, you don’t have to be miserable just to make me happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be good enough for you.

I didn’t want you to find out this way. I really do like you, you’re my best friend.

But you don’t love me the way that I love you

I’m sorry.

Don’t be sorry. Goodbye Hendery.

-

Hendery couldn’t ignore the smile that grew on his face, the heavy feeling over his chest lifting.

“What happened to you? Why are you so happy?” Ten questioned while chewing on the cookie he stole from Kun, slight concerned at how over the span of a half hour Hendery’s expression could go from forlorn over the thought of the wedding to ecstatic as he jumped up from the couch, staring at his phone that was clenched tightly in his hand.

“She broke up with me.” His smile grew impossibly bigger while Xiao’s face dropped. “I accidentally called her while we were talking and she said we don’t have to be together.” If Hendery wasn’t so busy cheering about his new found freedom he would’ve felt how the tensions rose in the room, or saw how Xiao looked at him with disgust as he slid his engagement ring off of his finger and tossed it on the coffee table. As if it meant nothing to him.

“So you used her?” An uneasy silence settled over the room while Yangyang made a quick exit, not wanting to witness anything. Hendery’s smile swiftly disappeared at Xiao’s accusatory tone. “And you’re celebrating your ‘freedom’ while she’s heart broken?” A cold chuckle punctuated his statement.

“I didn’t mean for her to overhear the conversation. But she broke up with me. If she’s hurt it’s her fault.” Hendery tried to plead his case, looking around at his other groupmates that were present but they refused to meet his eyes, all sharing Xiao’s sentiments on the situation. “I never wanted her to fall in love with me.”

Xiao couldn’t ignore the way that his fist shook hearing Hendery say that. He was already angered hearing how casually Hendery talked about his lack of feelings, no remorse evident in his voice. Clenching his jaw to hide the obscenities and curses that he wanted to spout on each of Hendery’s weekly rants about your relationship. But hearing just how casually he used you and didn’t care, that was Xiao’s last straw.

“So you fucking used her, and are now blaming it on her?” The room went stilent and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Xiao walked closer to Hendery, crossing the coffee table that kept them separated. Then he threw the first punch.

No one was expecting it, hearing the crack when Xiao’s fist connected with Hendery’s nose. Hendery didn’t have time to recover enough to retaliate before Lucas was picking Xiao off of his feet and hauling him out of the room. “Fucking stay away from her or I’ll fucking kill you.”

-

Xiao knew that it was stupid to fall for you, even dumber since you were head over heels in love with Hendery, someone who didn’t deserve even an ounce of you. He knew that you would never see him in that light, naively hung up on Hendery, so he did the next best thing. Become your friend.

Sure, he knew that he was only a rebound, only truly talking to you whenever Hendery was too busy - ignoring you - to entertain you, so you turned to Xiao. He knew that there was never way you would love him the way that he loved you, but he didn’t care. He’d be whatever you wanted him to be, even if it was perpetually stuck pining after you.

That’s the only explainable reason as to why he snuck out of the dorm after receiving the text from you.

I need you Dejun

It wasn’t hard to leave the dorm, Sicheng and Ten were too busy worrying about Hendery’s nose and if it was broken or not. All Xiao had to do was slip out of the front door. He didn’t bother asking the manager for a ride, walking would do just fine. Your apartment wasn’t too far from the dorm, there was no sweat off his back. Until the clouds broke open and it started to rain profusely when Xiao was only a block away from your apartment.

That explains why you answered the frantic knocking at your door to be met with a soaking wet Xiao, hair plastered to his forehead from the rain and shirt appearing like a second skin.

“What the hell happened? Come in, hurry.” Moving to the side you quickly pulled Xiao inside, feeling guilty at the way that he shook from the cold.

“It rained a little bit.” Despite the pain in your chest, and your eyes burning from the amount of tears that you had shed you couldn’t help but giggle.

“That’s an understatement. I’ll get you a towel and some clothes so you can change.”

Twenty minutes later the two of you were awkwardly facing eachother. You’ve never truly hung out by yourself, the boys were always a buffer between the two of you. The teddy bear that you were clutching against your chest being the only thing to separate you, your light pink blanket seeming almost childish with Xiao sitting on it. The gigantic hoodie that you stole from your brother draped over his frame, almost drowning him in the sheer amount of fabric.

“Are you okay?” He was the first to break the silence, eyes finally meeting yours and softening out of compassion. The sight of him pitying you caused the tears to prick at your eyes, glancing down while you absentmindely played with the fraying ends of the blanket.

“Why would I be? Hearing that my fiance didn’t love me. I was a burden to him our whole relationship. An annoying little sister.” Letting out a joyless chuckle at the irony of it all, a fiance that saw you as a little sister. You hadn’t realized that warm tears were falling down your cheeks, darkening the light pink fabric where they hit, littering it with drops of magenta. “How was I so stupid? I should’ve seen it comer when he started staying at the studio later and later when there was no comeback. Was he even staying at the studio? Was there someone else?” You looked up at Xiao, trying to blink away the blurry vision to find any answer for the questions you desperately asked. Xiao’s hand came up to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away. The sweet motion caused you to let out a sob, launching yourself into Xiao’s arm.

Xiao’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you onto his lap. You couldn’t be bothered to feel awkward or uncomfortable at the strange position, only burying your face into the hoodie and letting your tears soak the fabric. Xiao sighed, biting back his own emotions as he listened to you choke on your sobs, feeling your body shake with every wretched wail that left your mouth. All because of Hendery. If it weren’t for you clutching onto the fabric of the hoodie so tightly that it could rip out of fear of Xiao leaving he might’ve gone back to the dorm and broken Hendery’s jaw.

“He never deserved you.” Swallowing to hide the way that his voice attempted to crack Xiao continued, “ You are the sweetest, loveliest, gentliest, and purest person that I have ever met in my life. You care for everyone and everything no matter how small or significant they may seem. You loved Hendery with your whole heart, and he didn’t deserve to ever see that side of you.” Your sobbing had dissolved into meaningless sniffles, eyes still wet with tears as you listened to Xiao’s words.

“He’s the only person I’ve ever loved. I thought he was the one.”

“He wasn’t right for you. You’ll meet someone who is.” Xiao bit back the confession that he desperately wanted to say. He knew it wasn’t the right time. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence until the sounds of your stomach grumbling caused Xiao to sadly move you from his lap so that he could order the two of you food.

The silence remained even as the two of you ate, quietly munching as the ramen noodles brought a warmth back to you, hands shaking slightly from the after-cry headache that plagued you. Xiao grabbed your empty containers and bottles, throwing them away before appearing in your doorway again, wet clothes now wrapped in a bag.

“It’s pretty late. I’m going to go home.”

“You can stay. If you want.” The silence between the two of you was no longer comfortable.

“I’ll stay.”

If only you knew just how long he would.

-

“I’m so proud of you baby.” You whispered in his ear as he carried you back to the bedroom, adrenaline from WayV’s most recent win still coursing through his veins, if the way that he unlocked the front door and picked you up had anything to say about it.

“Owe it all to you. Always supporting me.” Both of you giggled as he hovered over you, hands on either side of your head while yours ran down his back, before tugging at the bottom of his sheer shirt, prompting him to take it off and throw it on the floor.

“Technically you started this two years ago by staying.” Xiao rolled his eyes before leaning down, placing a sweet kiss on your lips, barely giving you enough time to savor it before he was pulling away. Poking your lips out Xiao obliged, placing one, two, three more kisses before pulling away.

“I’m in love with you.” This wasn’t the first time he’s said it, but this confession made you burn from the inside out all the same. Heat rising up your neck all the way to your ears while butterflies pranced around in your stomach. Xiao’s eyes held the exact same emotion that they had two years ago when you asked him to stay that you now had a name for. It was pure adoration, and devotion. Love in simpler terms.

“I’m in love with you too.” Tangling your fingers into his hair you pulled him down into another kiss, a searing one deeper than the previous ones you had shared. His hand coming up and cupping your jaw caused you to pull away from the kiss, a bright smile on your face as you whispered two words that caused Xiao to kiss you until the both of you had to pull away for air in fear of suffocating. “Thank you.”

Sometimes, the right one get’s away to let a better one in. Thank you Hendery, you taught me how to love so I could love Xiao properly.

#Kpop catalog #kpop fluff #Kpop angst #Kpop scenarios #Kpop imagines #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct angst #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #wayv fluff #wayv angst #Xiao dejun #nct Xiao dejun #wayv xiao dejun #hendery #wayv hendery #nct hendery #nct wong kunhang #wayv wong kunhang #idol x reader #hendery x reader #hendery x you #Xiao x reader #Xiao dejun x reader #xiao dejun x you

[thatpoppinat]

A Ladybug’s Confession~

Warning! Warning! Warning!

I think this is a bit angsty but it depends on the person. :)

_______________________

  I remember my first day on the job vividly. I think about it a lot.

   And you know what? I think it's fair.

   I mean, it'd be hard not to forget how me stopping an old man from being run over by a car and sacrificing macaroons, led me to become a world renowned ladybug themed superhero in a skintight suit, using a magical yoyo to swing across rooftops and purify possessed butterflies created by a man who wants to use two pieces of magic jewelry for reasons unknown.

 Oh, I also have a partner who loves to flirt and get on my nerves while wearing a leather catsuit.

  Seems magical, I know. That's how it felt in the beginning.

   After my partner kept me from having a nervous mental breakdown on live television, that is.

   But time passed, and with that, so did the initial feelings of adrenaline and security.

   Fights started lasting longer and were harder. My parents started questioning me and scolding me for my absences. School stared to become more demanding due to less time in school (thanks, akumas) and my grades started to slip. My tardiness didn't help.

      I started loosing sleep. I couldn't work on my designs as much as I wanted to anymore. I began to notice and question if the people I was defending cared about me for me, and not just what I could do for them.

    I felt like while my partner was being degraded as a sidekick and a scapegoat, I was being held as a golden child: given conditional praise and an impossibly high standard set for me.

  I am a fourteen year old girl.

   I felt like nothing I could do was enough, and I thought about how me trying to give myself to others always ended in disaster. Or me being scolded for trying to defending myself.

   I learned that no matter how much you support others, they're not always going to take that into consideration and help you in a time of need.

   And that some of the people who do notice wrongdoings won't do anything at all.

  And the icing on the cake was when I lost Master Fu.

 Master Fu.

  The one constant in my life. One of the few men on Earth who could read - debatably - the most reliable source of information on the miraculous. The man who guided me, who believed in me.

   A man who lost his memories because of my mistake. Because I let my guard down.

  And now, it's my responsibility to take care of some of the most important artifacts in the universe. With hardly any training.

 … Why would you give it to me? You knew I wasn't ready.

  I feel like I could have saved you. I could've preventing this from happening somehow.

   Maybe if I did, he'd still be here. Listening to my whine about my woes while he felt like he carried a whole world on his shoulders. Making his afternoon tea while telling me stories about his past. Telling me about his old family. The one he was forced to leave.

  … Maybe it was for the better that he lost his memories.

  I deal with these thoughts every day. I can't tell anyone what I'm going through.

  I broke down crying in front of Luka a couple of weeks ago.

  I feel like everything in my life is falling apart.

  And that I can only watch.

  From the beginning, Tikki told me this wasn't going to be this easy.

  But no one ever told me it would be so hard.

   Maybe she just thought there was no way I could've failed this spectacularly. To be fair, neither did I.

   I feel so lost sometimes. Days will go bye and the feeling of emptiness never leaves me. When I feel like running away from my life, I transform into Ladybug and run across the rooftops, and fly to the top of the Eiffel tower - well, it's not actually flying but, it feels like it, honestly.

   When I make it to the top, it's when I get all emotional y'know? It's dark out, some of the city lights are on, no traffic, and the sky is just a beautiful shade of midnight blue. Accompanied by a silver broken moon - I mean, usually a crescent moon, but sometimes a full moon … I don't go out every night . . .

Heh …

 *sigh* And it's quiet.

  So very quiet....

  At the top, I look down and see how grand my city really is.

  Paris: the City of Love.

  My home, my life, my responsibility...

  I look down, and I just take a moment, to breathe - to see how enchantingly beautiful everything is.

  Yet I can also see how vast, and overwhelming everything is, too.

   It's all so overwhelming. I want to tell Chat everything. I want to tell Chat who I am, for us to be closer. For his help and his reassurance that everything will be okay and that we'll through this together.

 To admit to him that I'm scared.

 But after Chat Blanc... New York...

 No, he's dealing with his own struggles right now. He left me in New York after I said cruel things to him when I knew deep down that he'd never purposely do anything to hurt me. He's caring like that. He slips through your defenses like that. He's calming like that.

  I had never considered him leaving me until that day.

 I never thought that our identity reveal could result in the end of the world.

No … we couldn't. We can't. Not now you dumb cat.

 …

 And Adrien.

 Oh Adrien.

 I can never catch my breath around him. No matter how hard I try I my legs turn into putty and I transform into an awkward mess of limbs when he’s near.

 And I don't know why.

 Maybe it's because he was so open and honest to me that fateful day. Maybe it was because he sought me out, even when I thought that he were garbage.He was so open and honest, so caring, and thoughtful. He made me feel valued - important even. Not Ladybug. Marinette.

 Heh, you didn't even ask for your umbrella back. I'm sure you could order a million of them if you wanted to though.

  Not a good way to spend money. But it's a good way to make a woman fall head over heels for you. Just hand it to your mystery love on a rainy day, I'm sure you'll be fine. She'd feel so lucky.

 It hurts so much though.

  Moving on, supporting you and Kagami. You defending Lila. Everything really.

 I always embarrass myself. Whenever I try to confess, something always happens. Not like there's a point. There's no way I'm your mystery girl.

 Sometimes, I wonder if the universe is sending me signs that we're not meant to be together after all.

  And in the end - despite my admittedly creepy tendencies-, all I want is for you to be happy. It's what you deserve after all you've been through.

  Maybe if you rejected me yourself; if you were rude and uncaring. Maybe then it would be easier to get over you. But then why does being with you sound so right?

 Can I stop my fall?

(End)

_______________

I made this at 11:00 at night (can you tell?)

   This is just how I interpreted everything from s3 and how believe Marinette feels after everything. But knowing the writers, they’re probably not gonna show her going through trauma and having nightmares and her stressing out, but you never know.

  As for the Marinette being stressed about Chat leaving and her opinion on how her words were cruel, I believe that she didn't do anything wrong and had the right to be angry, but considering Marinette, she may not think that’s the case.

 She also may not think that she’s Ladybug “in real life”, but I think she is.

_____________________

  I was in a very, very angsty mood while writing this, as you can probably tell XD. This is the second fanfic I’ve made.

  I might continue with the WTWKYN story I made (I might have to change the name though), and I might make an Adrien version of this. Idk, depends on how I feel.

   Overall, I’m pretty proud of this! As always, positive criticism is welcome.

  You can reblog if you want to, I don’t mind.

#miraculous ladybug #s3 #ladybug #ml #angst #class salt #this poor child

[spnfanficpond]

January Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE THE FIRST ANGEL FISH AWARDS OF 2020!

Cabin Fever (a long oneshot) by @slytherkins​ was nominated three times!

I said all of this in my reblog, but this is FUCKING GOLD. It depicts life with chronic pain so beautifully, I read most of this with my heart in my throat. Have tissues, heed the warnings, but definitely read this! - @mrswhozeewhatsis​​

Tara is the Queen of Angst. She never fails to break my heart but this fic was something else entirely. I always feel like her stories could be canon and this is no exception!! Dean was exactly how I imagine he would be, Sam too. Without giving any spoilers: the scene setting - I was there, I could see them preparing dinner, sat around the table eating, I felt the coldness of the snow.

The raw emotions were sublime, I cried with Dean. I felt I could feel his pain, I was with him every step of the way, I felt his desperation. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.  - @princessmisery666​​

O. M. G. I don’t expect anything less than incredible when I read Tara’s stuff, but this is on another level. The angst is painful (literally, sometimes), the detail is exquisite. She put heart and soul into this, and it shows. And as always, her Dean is spot-tf-on. Tara’s a brilliant writer, and this fic is amazing. ❤❤❤ - @risingphoenix761​​ 

Nominated by @manawhaat​

Satin (oneshot) by @wingedcatninja​

This fic has some out of the box, vulnerable, sexy, surprising Dean feels! I went into it expecting one thing and what I got was so different from what I could have imagined, but it was so wonderful and refreshing to read! 

Next Year (series) by @wingedcatninja​

Holy crap, the intensity and control in this fic is astounding. It’s so palpable from start to end and this is only the first fucking part. Seriously stellar and surprisingly reverential. 

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis​

For Better or Worst (ongoing series) by @stunudo​​ 

There’s so much mystery and intrigue in this series and I just can’t stop wondering how it’s all going to work out! Sam made some kind of deal to save the world and the deal involved marrying this woman and getting out of hunting. But what was the deal, exactly? And where’s Dean? And who is this woman? What about Cas and Jack? I’m so freaking hooked and I can’t wait to find out!!

Nominated by @princessmisery666​

Love You To Death (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr​

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not into AU’s but this had me hooked from the beginning. I hate Y/N, I hope she gets whats coming to her, but I also so desperately want to be her, which is a testament to the wonderful writing of both Lisa and Bee. I can’t wait to see how this one unfolds.

These two together are a force to be reckoned with.

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch​

One And One Make Three (series) by @supernatural-jackles​ 

 This series was absolutely stunning, beautifully written, and an amazing rollercoaster of emotion. Jen handled some very sensitive subject matters with grace and wit. It has ALL the feels; I cried, laughed, and loved right along with the characters.

Nominated by @flamencodiva 

Skeptics and True Believers (series) by @d-s-winchester​ 

I love this story! It had me on the edge of my seat when I read through the master list. the way she wove the story together made me happy for the ending to the story!

Good Things (series) by @crashdevlin​​

This is Part one to four parts of writing GOLD! Cassie knows how to completely put you in the story and envision what is happening. 

How Do You Spell Forever? (series) by @kittenofdoomage​​ 

This is part one of a four parter and OMG! Can I say that this is sweet and cute and full of A/B/O goodness? because this is! and it should be read and shared!

Nominated by @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​

Heathens (series) by @pink1031​ 

Why: I have been 1000000% hooked on this story since the first chapter was published. It’s a little bit twisted, a little bit wrong, a whole lot dirty, and a whole lot of amazing writing! At the time of this submission, the last chapter is in progress (don’t get me started on the fact that it’s ending D:). It is without a doubt, one of the few stories I stop what I am doing (life permitting) and read the new chapter when I get notified. READ THE WARNINGS CAREFULLY THOUGH, this is not a story for the faint of heart or those that get squicked out (is that even a term?). But if you like dark and dirty, this fic will absolutely be your jam.

Nominated by @risingphoenix761​

My Home (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage​

Short and sweet, but it got me all choked up. To repeat what I said in tags, bless this fic and the hands that typed it.

Feels Like The First Time (oneshot) by @stusbunker​ 

This gets better every time I reread it. Sweet and sexy and kinda touching. Any time I need a Samwitch fix, I come back to this one. ❤

Nominated by @lovetusk​ ( @fictionalabyss​​ )

Turning Into Butter (oneshot) by @thing-you-do-with-that-thing

Lets be honest with this one, shall we? We’d ALL get that distracted by a half naked Dean. 

Please Don’t Go (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

Dawn tested out her Angsting abilities in this Adam x Reader fic, and I’m hoping we get to see more of it. Like why is Dean so angry? I NEED TO KNOW!

Someone You Loved (oneshot) by @ne-gans​

So glad ne-gans is now part of the pond because now I can nominate this beautiful thing that made me cry. 

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Stupor (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence​

The hottest hot to ever hot in the hottest way possible - SOULLESS!DOM!SAM!! I ded. Very hot. Much smut. Very good.

Hurt So Good (oneshot) by @alleiradayne​

This was tasty. Pun intended. I have such a biting thing and Sam would be so amazing. Yes. Devour me, Winchester!! Loved it.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Isn’t That My Line (oneshot) by @princessmisery666​

I went into this one intrigued by the concept and I got even more than I was hoping for. A little twist I didn’t expect here, a perfect ending there. Amazing.

Control And Release (series) by @thecleverdame​

I just needed to bring this one back. Started rereading the entire series and it’s still as amazing as the first time I read this masterpiece.

Photographs and Gasoline (oneshot) by @ne-gans​

Always gotta check the new pond member list when I’m making my rounds. Found this fic and fell in love. It’s absolutely heartbreaking but I loved every second of it. Guess if I have to torture myself, I prefer to do it with beautiful writing like this. 

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield​​​

Smokes and Sex Toys (oneshot) by @wayward-and-worn​ 

This is delightfully fucking filthy. But that’s not all; Dean’s characterization is SO DEAN - flirty yet straightforward - it reminded me of the scene with the bartender in Defending Your Life, I love the simple yet creative premise, and I adore that it’s left open-ended. 

Sick Day - @fangirlxwritesx67​​ 

Viv wrote this for me - it’s true - but that isn’t the reason I’m nominating this; it’s because this is so warm and comfortable and just feels like Dean. Like I actually felt like I was in his lap while I feel asleep reading this. (Also, check out my girl’s other works. She’s fairly new but balls to the wall and bursting with ideas and words for just about anyone.) 

Nominated by @slytherkins​

Isn’t That My Line (oneshot) by @princessmisery666​

Short. Sinful. Sexy. It’s like a smutty snack that hits the spot. (And so does Dean.) 

Nominated by @kittenofdoomage​​

What Goes Bump In The Night (series) by @saxxxology​​

A phenomenal series, historic and dark, with all the fantastic detail you’d expect from Saxxy and more! Please heed the warnings though!

The World Doesn’t Know (oneshot) by @negans-lucille-tblr​​

A wonderful little smutty J2 fic, for those who enjoy that fantasy.

Marked (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

I’ve only read the first chapter so far, but hot damn! This is a spectacular start to a promisingly dark series. AND The Right Spot - a smutty smutty follow up to another oneshot that literally made me sweat.

Just Like A Pill  by @princessmisery666​​

The angsty sequel to In Spite Of What My Heart Says and you should totally read both parts, just keep tissues by you in case of heartbreak!

Nominated by @focusonspn​​

House Of The Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage​​

I’ve never liked BDSM themes too much but, OH MY GOOD!! This series is AMAZING!! It even has a sequel: The Ones You Love. Go and read it, you won’t regret it.

Yes, Sir (series) by @evansrogerskitten​​

Ash must be tired of me praising this fic but I can’t help myself, it’s one of my favorite series ever and deserves this recognition. This is a series that every John girl out there should be reading RIGHT NOW. It has everything! Smut, fluff and a tiny bit of angst and drama.

Good Vibrations (series) by @impala-dreamer​​

At first I wasn’t sure if I should bring this fic here because all the drama I heard it existed about it but, then I thought it twice, and I came to the conclusion that this fic definitely deserve to be part of these awards. This piece of writing was the first (after Dear John, I have to admit) that actually made me cry. It’s dark, it’s sad as fuck, it’s damn well written, and makes you easily get inside the characters and feel what they’re feeling. That being said, if you’re thinking of reading it, please HEED THE WARNINGS.

Take a Drunk Girl Home (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches​​

This fic is so beautiful and so well written that I promise you even can end up tearing up a little, but it’s so worth it that you won’t care a bit.

Nominated by @emilyshurley​​

His Property (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr​​

I freaking love this series to the point that i binged the series (and it’s sequel, Yours) in a single day.  

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch​​

Can’t get over how adorable it is.

Guns and Ribbons (series) by @myinconnelly1​​

What can I say Dean Winchester deserves all the love in this world and so does this series.

I Can See Clearly Now (oneshot) by @katehuntington​​

I can’t. I don’t have words. This is perfection.

In the Heat of the Night (series) by @evansrogerskitten​​

Nominated by @impalaimagining​​

Goals (oneshot) by @atc74​​

Okay. It's been a long time since I've found Sam smut that really gets me into it. This though - it's a whole different level of wonderful. I love the way it explores a woman finding and embracing her own sexuality, and the frustration that can come along with it. It's obvious how much effort and research and actual planning went into this. My favorite kinds of fics are those that draw from real life experiences, which I think it what makes this one so special. And the end? Yes please!

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67​​ 

Everything (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock​ 

I can’t even talk about how great this J2 x reader series is without incoherent fangirl flailing. It’s wildly creative, sharply well written, and absolutely panty-melting filthy! And then just when you’re so hot and bothered that you can’t see straight, *boom*, it’s sweet and intimate and loving. I don’t think there’s a series out there I’ve read this many times!

Hark and Hush by @thoughtslikeaminefield​​

This is a luscious, dark and twisted fairy tale about Dean and the spirit of the Big Bad Wolf. It’s written so vividly that you can see and smell and taste the whole story. Sexy af, of course, and so intense- take the warnings seriously!

The Kind of Girl You Like (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield​​ 

To me, MJ will always be the Queen of the Winchester threesome and this series shows exactly why. Smoking hot story about the brothers sharing a sub that quickly unfolds into something complex and beautiful. The last chapter especially is written with so much emotional depth- the first time I read it, I was swearing and crying and smiling all at once because it was so well done! Just the best!

Nominated by @supersassyprobablysad​​ 

How You & I Will Be (series) by @katehuntington​​ 

Hey so I wanted to do an angel fish award nom for Kate for her How You & I Will Be fic. In 5 parts she not only developed believable characters but by the end I was ugly crying (and I don’t cry a lot so that’s saying something). The ending feels totally necessary too, not like it was just done for shock value. Anyway I love it, it’s the best I’ve read in a long time.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

#afa masterlist #angel fish awards #spnfanficpond #spn fic rec #spn fanfic #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #fanfic #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #fic rec #supernatural fic rec #spn fan fic

[its-all-ineffable]

My Cherik/Taylor Swift playlist, song #2

Song #2 is ‘I’m Only Me When I’m With You’ on Taylor’s debut album ‘Taylor Swift’.

(Part analysis, part fanfic idea)

This song gives me early Cherik vibes, like from training in the mansion in First Class I’d say. Fluffy and sweet, very romantic. A possibility for older!Cherik too, in a future where they’ve stopped fighting and are happy together (DOFP? DP?). Very happy, sappy song!

Now this, I promise, won’t be angsty like the last one! The first bit I want to analyze is the last part of the first verse - “And sometimes we don't say a thing; Just listen to the crickets sing. Everything I need is right here by my side.” - this piece of beauty right here! Okay, so, to start off, “Sometimes we don’t say a thing”. Charles and Erik clearly have a deep bond, whatever film/universe/age they’re in/at. We ALL know that. And we all know that they don’t need words to communicate with each other. I’m not even talking about using Charles telepathy, no, I’m talking about the intense amount of eye contact they like to share, especially in FC! The last part of the verse, “Everything I need is right here by my side.” - well, as I’ve already said, they have a very deep bond. They love one another, unconditionally despite everything, and they don’t need anything else but each other at certain points (all the Cherik fluff feels atm!). This is true of FC, especially on their ‘road trip’ and in the mansion, and of the possible ending of DOFP/the ending of DP, where Erik and Charles could be living happily ever after. 

I feel like these next lines say everything on their own - “I know everything about you, I don't wanna live without you.” Like, what more do you need?! Charles literally responds to Erik’s “What do you know about me?” in FC with “Everything.” Ta-da! Not a big leap to make. I feel like this first verse and chorus is Charles singing to Erik, and the next part is Erik singing to Charles, but it could honestly by either way round! They’re both in love and happy and it’s adorable! 

I’m gonna talk about the second verse before the chorus, because I want to, and it’s my post. So, the next chorus, the lyrics that get me are these - “And I don't try to hide my tears, The secrets or my deepest fears. Through it all nobody gets me like you do.” - they just scream Cherik! I think this is Erik singing/talking to Charles purely because he has a lot of secrets and fears, and is not fond of being vulnerable. But with Charles, he opens up because he trusts him and he know Charles understands him. Again, this could work for either of them, it’s just my opinion I’m expressing here. It also encompasses their relationship really well. They are ‘enemies’, yet best friends, and despite everything, they can’t hide what they really feel from one another. 

Lastly, the chorus. “I'm only up when you're not down. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground. It's like no matter what I do. Well, you drive me crazy half the time; The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true. And I'm only me when I'm with you.” I don’t feel that this needs analysing per se, as the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory, but again, it just screams Cherik. They drive each other insane with they’re different views and ideologies, but they love each other fiercely and try and show that to one another as well! And I feel that the only people they completely let their guards down with is each other more than anybody else, which is what the song is all about, which is why I think it’s near perfect for them. Whichever version of Cherik you think this fits best is up to you - I’d personally go either of the ones I suggested up top, early Cherik or post-DOFP/DP. This has the potential to be turned into a super fluffy song fic at some point - who knows? I may get round to it! 

Alright, that’s song #2 done! I hope you enjoyed my Cherik analysis/fic idea with a Taylor Swift song. Stay tuned for more - I have a whole playlist and a lot of boredom!

People who liked/reblogged my post about this will be tagged as I’m presuming you’re interested - @lunarmultishine, @hcarshipper, @supertechnologylifestylegiant, @rachelmarkel, @thequartermastertoyouragent​ & @rhea-imagined​ - ANYONE WHO WISHES TO NOT BE TAGGED FOR THE OTHER POSTS, PLEASE COMMENT/MESSAGE ME TO LET ME KNOW.

Part 1  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

#taylor swift #cherik #tswift playlist for cherik #analysis and fic ideas in one #song 2 #i'm only me when i'm with you

[paintedrecs]

@mad-madam-m​ tagged me in the “list 5 OTPs from 5 fandoms” meme a couple days ago, which I laughed at her for because (a) she knows my otps FULL WELL (b) our lists are very nearly an exact match (which i am by the way delighted about because half my list right now is full of rare pairs, and I have never before known the hell of treading that landscape alone)

but!

I’m gonna do the meme and double it up as an announcement of what I am currently into and what you’re likely to see on this blog if I start picking up my activity levels a little.

I honestly have no idea how active tumblr is at this point - how many of you are still around, and how many of you I might lose if I start reblogging my other fandoms in addition to Sterek - but after doing a Pillowfort experiment for a while, I think I’ve finally figured out how to use social media again in a way that works better for me.

My old method, before tumblr kinda imploded and fandom got weird (filled with antis and ship hate and constant infighting, ugh why), was to create a separate blog for everything I was into, which is why I have appreciatederek, appreciateshiro, appreciatejack, and...is that it? See, this is why I need to stop scattering myself into a zillion different pieces.

So I’m going to consolidate more (like I do on twitter and now Pillowfort), and also hopefully get back to my fandom roots: digging into more meta, like I did 8 years ago when I first fell in love with Sterek, and posting fic recs, like I also did thanks to Sterek. (And sharing my own fics as I write them. Guess which fandom pushed me down that path, too.)

So it’s fitting that the first ship on this list is...well, an obvious one.

1. STEREK (Teen Wolf)

Y’all know this one. Sterek will always, always be the OTP of my heart. I love their dynamic. I love the creativity and passion of the fandom. I love that they brought my writing back to me and introduced me to so many of you.

I still have dozens of Sterek fic ideas; quite a few of them are partially written or have significant outlines, so at some point I will still be writing them. Life is just, as you know, very busy and very tiring and it’s so hard to fit everything into my days. I’m working on it, I promise. 

I’d like to start doing more updates with snippets of my upcoming fics, maybe a lil Q&A if anyone wants to chat about what I’m working on/my thought process behind what I’ve already written/what you’d like to see from me, etc. Interactive fun stuff! Sterek fandom is still the best and most supportive fandom I’ve ever been a part of, and it makes me happy every time I’m reminded we’re all still around and thriving.

And here’s some of the other stuff I’m into right now...

2. XANATOWEN (Gargoyles)

I have been sailing this ship entirely by myself since January, recently joined by the aforementioned M, who also created this gif for me while she was still in the patient “I’m your friend, I will listen to you yelling about this show” stage. (ha ha ha look at her now, that’s what you get)

I’ve been genuinely holding myself back from spamming tumblr with my thoughts about this show and this ship, which I’m beginning to realize is...maybe silly. I’ll still try to keep it a little bit balanced, but you can definitely look forward to more Gargoyles on the horizon, including:

Fics - 30k so far, with another 4.6k that I’m hoping to post this afternoon, after I look over it and decide if I still like it (ha ha fic writing amirite). I also have a fairy tale AU that I’ve done a substantial outline for, so I’d really like to get that underway.

Episode recaps/meta posts - these are currently being posted over on Pillowfort. The goal is to get the last two episodes of Season 1 up there, then to start crossposting them here.

As long as it’s not a gigantic hassle to paste over all the screencaps, because I uh. I have a lot of them. And a lot of thoughts about the show as a whole, but particularly about the relationship between David Xanatos and Owen Burnett: the meta’s currently averaging from about 1.5k to 2.5k per episode, whoooops.

I love them. I love them a LOT. See my meta posts for very detailed explanations as to why.

3. TREVORCARD (Castlevania)

I honestly did not expect to get this deeply invested in this ship. I watched and liked the first two seasons of Castlevania and really enjoyed the dynamic between Trevor and Alucard, but it wasn’t until the lead-up to Season 3 (and then the devastation of how absolutely terrible that season was) that I realized how much I loved these two together.

So now I’m having a very Sterek Fandom moment of “eff you canon, they’re ours now” in regards to Trevorcard. 

I’ve written one fic for them - it’s a 20k coffee shop/modern/college/artist/musician AU because they deserve all the fandom tropes and so much happiness together..

I don’t currently have plans to write any more, although if I do, it’ll likely be some sort of neighbors AU with wolf!Alucard, since my vast experience with Sterek fandom has taught me the absolute joys of exploring characters who can canonically turn into a beautiful giant effing wolf. 

I’ve also been steadily reading my way through every single Trevorcard fic in the AO3 tag, which unfortunately is only ~200. (HOW is this a rare pair. I will never ever understand it, they’re perfect together, and the animators literally said they intentionally storyboarded moments like the one above with the knowledge that people would start shipping them.)

Once I’ve finished up my AO3 tour, I’m going to compile the ones I enjoyed into rec lists. There are some really wonderful fics in there, and I’m excited to see what the rest are like.

4. TAIBANI (Tiger & Bunny)

I really don’t talk about this ship much, but it’s so immensely close to my heart. I have...so much...official merch of Kotetsu and Barnaby; it makes me happy every single time I see it. If I used my Tiger & Bunny stuff as the standard for what sparks joy during a konmari, the rest of my apartment would probably wind up empty.

The show (which is finally getting a second season in 2022 - Kotetsu & Barnaby had better be getting married) is wonderful. I genuinely can’t recommend it enough. Great writing, wonderful character development, beautiful animation, and Kotetsu and Barnaby are absolutely perfect together. Here’s an old post where I talk about that a little bit.

I’ve only written one fic so far: a canon compliant established relationship future fic that focuses more on their family dynamic as Kotetsu’s daughter adapts to turning 18, becoming a hero, and living with her frustratingly affectionate dad & his new husband.

I have ideas for two AUs: a single dad mature student/young professor one and a sorta weird circus/steve irwin-inspired one. We’ll...we’ll see if I ever get around to either. What I end up writing always surprises me, so I sorta give up on planning what words will come out.

And oh wait! I totally forgot about the third idea, which will be roughly canon compliant, with “Kotetsu sets Barnaby up on a series of blind dates that Barnaby initially thinks will be with HIM” angsty/funny fic. Hrm. I should get back to that one, I’ve outlined part of it.

I haven’t actually read a ton of fic for this pairing, because the more I like canon material, the less I seek out fandom content to “fix” it, but I would like to start going through the AO3 tag after I finish my Trevorcard project. I did an initial rec list ages ago and would like to follow up with another.

5. SHEITH (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Here’s the last pairing I write fics for. I have several more in progress that I’d really like to finish - including a dragon AU that I wish someone else would just finish for me so I can read it, hahhhhhhh sigh. I wrote 15k, did a ton of research, and basically intimidated myself out of continuing, because it’s one of my Big Projects. Not gonna be like, PDIW length or anything, but it should be a pretty hefty fic once it’s done.

Then there’s the roommates AU, the burrito shop AU, the....wow. I really need to get back to these, don’t I. A couple of them are super close to being finished, too.

I’ve also compiled a few fic rec lists, although I haven’t updated those (or my Sheith blog) in a while.

This fandom has been...interesting. Rough sometimes. Sliding into some of the other pairings on this list has provided a good break for me, particularly since they’re all such small fandoms that they’re relatively free from drama and hate. Once I’m fully refreshed and re-inspired, I’d love to get back into writing Sheith. They’re such a perfect, feel-good, extraordinarily balanced and supportive ship, and I am disappointed every single day I remember that Voltron didn’t stick the landing with making them canon.

Look at that almost-kiss. Just...look at it. And tell me they aren’t in love.

#gargoyles #sterek #trevorcard #taibani #tiger and bunny #xanatowen #sheith #meme #about me #about my fics

[charmandhex]

Master Post Part 3

So tumblr is a massive nuisance and apparently limits the number of links you can put in a post! So this is probably going to get a little recursive; this post will just deal with 

Tumblr Writing and The Bonds Between Us

So most of the ficlets I put up on tumblr do not have names, which is gonna make this more challenging, so we’ll see how it goes. The Bonds Between Us is an ao3 fic containing a number of canon compliant ficlets centered around the relationships between characters.

The aforementioned Blupjeans spinoff of Pas de Deux. You think enemies to lovers Taakitz is fun; wait until you see enemies to lovers but still very much enemies right now Blupjeans. 

Snow Day. Taako-centric Taakitz fluff with bonus adopted son Ango centered around... a snow day. It should be part of The Bonds Between Us, but apparently is not. I should remedy that.

A Day Off. Blupjeans post canon, just coming off a long day of Reaper shenanigans. It’s pretty fluffy and is in The Bonds Between Us.

What is Left Unsaid. Magnulia, definitely on the angsty side, but I at least think it ends on a happy note. Basically covers first meeting and beyond. Also in The Bonds Between Us; this is going to be a recurring theme.

Sculpture of Flame. SC era Blupjeans pre-Legato. Barry (POV) and Lup go after the Light and shit goes sideways, as it is wont to do. Basically prompted by me thinking Spell Sculpting is the best thing since Fireball. Ditto on The Bonds Between Us; I need an acronym at this point.

Questions and Answers. Ango-centric post canon fun! Basically, people are nosy and ask Angus all the questions, and Taako is basically adopting Angus now. Yes, TBBU.

Fox in the Henhouse. Hurloane! Surprise! Pre-pttm, based around a post (which I linked in a reblog; I don’t want to tag people and subject them to this laundry list.) Basically, Sloane shows up to Hurley’s office. I’m mean and this ends on a fairly angsty, yell-inducing note. TBBU.

The Little Things. Lup-centric fluff, post-canon, centered around her getting her body back. Yes, TBBU.

Takeout in the Astral Plane. Taako POV, about how much Taako loves Kravitz and Taako and Kravitz’s vacation to the Astral Plane. TBBU ficlet.

Scones and Song. Kravitz POV, about how much Kravitz loves Taako. Arguably the counterpart to Takeout in the Astral Plane. TBBU ficlet; are you even surprised at this point?

Cooking Quiche Lorraine. Ren time! Yay Ren! Featuring Ren at Taako’s show and a little bit of her venturing out afterward. There are some Paloma shenanigans, and fuck I forgot how much I love Paloma with a warhammer. TBBU ficlet.

Untitled Lucretia ficlet. Second person POV, centered around the moment she fed her journals to Fisher. It’s more experimental as far as my ficlets go and definitely not TBBU for that reason.

Late Night Research. More Blupjeans pining! Lup POV this time, and Lup finds Barry up sciencing in the middle of the night. TBBU ficlet.

Untitled Taakitz ficlet. This one was inspired from some art by herbgerblin (again, no tagging here, but the art is tagged in the ficlet). Kravitz gets called in the middle of the night, and Taako is groggy but supportive. This one should probably be a TBBU chapter too but isn’t.

Untitled twins ficlet. Going way, WAY back to when the twins were applying into the IPRE mission. Not TBBU, probably will be eventually when I remember to update it again.

Dogs on the Moon. Magnus rushes in! Magnus goes up to talk to Lucretia about a certain infamous policy. Yes, TBBU.

Untitled Lup and Umbra Staff ficlet. Just about how Lup might have come up with the concept for the Umbra Staff. Not a TBBU ficlet.

Pocket pudding fluid mechanics ficlet. Yeah, you read that right. I’m gonna teach you fuckers fluid mechanics whether you like it or not. Taako-centric, majorly sciencey, mildly angsty.

Untitled canon divergent AU part one. Taako inadvertently breaks Lup out of the Umbra Staff early!

Untitled canon divergent AU part two. Lup possesses her brother to start a family reunion! I’m tempted to continue this if there’s interest.

SURPRISE! It’s my one and only Graduation ficlet. Centered around the Firbolg, and it’s nostalgic but sad. Firbolgs live long lives and Druids... Druid.

Redundant master post link.

#charm works #charm master post

[softboywriting]

Happier | Shawn Mendes Blurb

A/N: So I was listening to Happier by Marshmello and Bastille and this happened. A little angst with very fluffy end. Please reblog.

Summary: You don't think Shawn is very happy with your long distance and you decide you want to break it off and spare him. Shawn isn't having that. [Little Angsty] [Crying] [Fluff]

Word Count: 1.5k

Your phone buzzes and you look down at it. Your message stares back at you as you read it over again before looking at Shawn's. “I've been thinking, I want you to be happier, so I have to leave.”

Shawn's text reads “Call me, please.”

You won't do that. His voice will change your mind and you don't want to do that. No matter how wrong it feels. This is what needed to happen. Shawn needed to be free of you. You could see it in his eyes when you're together. The sadness, the hurt that he knows is coming when he has to leave again. The distance was too much, he was always working. Phone calls could only do so much for the two of you. You want him to be free, to live like the twenty year old he is. He didn't need to worry about you back home. He didn't need to be tied down by someone he can't be with.

You pocket your phone and pick up the box beside the couch. One glance at the keys he'd given you ages ago on the counter and you're almost tempted to change your mind. That was it. The moment you closed the door behind you, you couldn't get back in. It was symbolic in a way. Poetic maybe. You take a deep breath and step out of the apartment, letting the door click closed behind you in the silent hall. It's then that reality hits you. Quiet sobs over take your body as you lean your head back against the door. This was a mistake but it was only fair to Shawn. He deserved better.

____________________

It's midnight when you hear something in your kitchen. Your bedroom shares a wall with it so the sound isn't hard to miss. Your first thought is that Nubs, your cat, is getting into the treat cupboard. You're tempted to say forget it and just let her tear open the treats and gorge herself. After all you had just gotten to sleep, having been crying all evening and trying to avoid your phone at all costs. You knew if you didn't answer Shawn he would get Brian to call you, then Andrew, then your mom if he was desperate enough. So you couldn't take any calls all evening or even be on the phone. It made for a long sad night, but you had to get past it.

Just as you reach over to click your bedside lamp off, a muffled voice startles you up out of bed. A mumbled curse and Nubs meows. The handle on your door jiggles and your heart leaps into your throat, blood running cold. You scramble from the bed, climb over and over stuffed laundry basket and into your closet in a matter of seconds. The bedroom door opens and you bite your fist to keep your crying quiet.

From your hiding place you can see through the slats on the door and the figure of a tall man is moving towards the bed. It stops, then turns around to face you but it's hard to see anything clearly. You look around in the dim closet, feeling for anything you can use as a weapon but the only thing is shoes. You grab a heel by the shoe part and hold it up. If all else fails, try to gouge their eyes out with the pointy heel. The doors open and you let out a scream, holding up the heel for protection.

“Stop screaming honey, Jesus Christ.” Shawn says, reaching for and turning on the closet light. “You're going to wake up your neighbors.”

“Shawn?!”

“Yes?”

You stand up and stare at him. He looks like hell, like he hasn't slept. “What are you doing? You're supposed to be in LA.”

“Yeah well I'm here.” He leans in and grabs your waist, lifting you out and over the laundry basket blocking the closet. “Because someone has lost her mind and won't answer the phone.”

You wipe your cheeks and turn to the bed. “I haven't lost my mind. I know you're miserable being tied to me.”

Shawn steps up behind you and wraps his arms around your shoulders, hugging you back against him. “Who said I'm miserable?” He asks, nose in your hair, smooching your head over and over like he always did when he was holding you like this.

“No one, I can see it on your face when we're together. You should be free, seeing the world, being a young rockstar. I'm just holding you back. We can't even go out public together without someone with us.”

“Uh huh,” he murmurs, lifting you up and putting you on the bed. He crawls over and lays down beside you. “I'm not miserable when we're together. I'm worried, about you. I'm worried I'm not loving you enough, that I'm not home enough, that you'll want someone else. I'm worried something will happen to you if fans find out. You're my little piece of heaven that I never want to share, but I'm going to have to. And I'm not miserable at all, quite far from it actually. I love you and you know that.”

“It's hard Shawn,” you tremble, a shaky sob clambering through you. “I hate being without you. I hate hiding all the time. I just want to have a normal relationship with you.”

“Come with me then,” he says, twirling your hair around his finger. “You don't have to work if you'd rather travel with me. Maybe it's time we go public.”

“I can't do that. I can't mooch off of you.”

“It's not mooching. It's mutual support. If you want you can work with the crew and we can have you paid just like anyone else.”

“But the fans...they'll rip me apart, call me horrible things. We've kept it quiet for two years. What are they going to say about me? I'll never be able to be on social media again.”

Shawn sighs softly. “Babe, I never thought I'd say this but, fuck the fans. If they don't like you it's because they're caught up in their own fantasies and they're jealous. You won't have to worry about them finding you on  social media either. You're not famous and you're not even friends with any of the guys or myself on anything since we've already been hiding for two years.” He slides his hand into yours and rests his head on your chest. “Please come with me. I need you. I never thought I'd ask it of you, but I think it's what we need to do.”

You run your hand through his hair. Leaving your job at the preschool would be hard, but it was nearly the end of the year. You would just have to submit your resignation and let your coworkers know in a month. You loved working with the kids, but Shawn was the love of your life. He was your heart and soul. Being so far away from each other all the time was torture. Besides, there would be other kids you could work with on tours, they probably need someone for those young fan at meet and greets, someone to interact with them other than their parents.

“I'll come with you,” you murmur and he stirs, having drifted off momentarily. He nods his head in acknowledgement. “I'll be there for you if you'll be there for me.”

“I promise I will,” Shawn mumbles, fingers flexing against yours, his curls tickling your chest. “Don't ever scare me like that again by the way. I think I'd rather die than think you don't want me anymore.”

“You're being dramatic.”

He huffs, a breathy laugh following suit. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black isn't it?”

“Shut up,” you murmur, tugging his hair. He presses his face down into your warm skin. “I love you bub.”

“Love you too honey.... and I always will.”

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn fic #shawn au #shawn fanfiction #shawn mendee fan fiction

[thestarsintheknight]

Fixable Moments in Endgame [Endgame Spoilers, duh]

WHY I PERSONALLY THINK SOME CHARACTER ARCS WERE DONE DIRTY, PUT UNDER THE CUT AND IF THAT DOESN’T WORK I PUT TWO OF MY DOG PICTURES SO YOU CAN SCROLL REALLY FAST.

Just so you know, and this is at the end of the post as well. I still really enjoyed Endgame for what it was and for what we got. I just have a few problems I’m pretty vocal about too. But I’m trying to not let that effect me as much.

LAST WARNING, ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay so hopefully those pictures of my dogs will allow you to calm and relax. If you’ve seen my last post, I was really upset with just how Tony died. 

I first came out of Endgame like, okay that was pretty okay closure, sure. Steve’s happy and Tony can finally rest and everyone’s alive and Natasha could be at peace with herself because of well, her ledger.

Then I kept thinking. No. They didn’t deserve this end.

Nat’s death was the only death done well. The only one. But I have more about the soul stone later on. 

Steve didn’t really die, and I knew he was gonna not be Captain America but I was curious as to how. I also really wanted Sam to wield that shield because even if Shuri cleaned Bucky of his whole Hydra-ness in his brain, I really do think Sam deserved that shield. So good on you Russos. Because in TWS, it’s said that Sam’s just like Steve, just slower. Steve is the embodiment of Captain America, if that’s the case then that means so is Sam. 

But why in the world did Steve decide to go back in time and be with Peggy? It was pretty closely put there in the show, Agent Carter, and in general that Peggy ended up with Daniel Sousa. Or just someone who wasn’t Steve. Why did Steve have a thing with Sharon in CW then? What was the point of her character? Sharon was badass, but like come on Russos!!! Steve is not one to see something going south and look the other way. That was very well established in CW, directed by the Russos. Yet he goes back in time, sticks with Peggy knows the things he knows about everything (like the Cold War, BUCKY) and you’re telling me he decided to have a domestic life? No!!! IF he even decided to stay back there, he would not sit still. He would have done something. Plus, you can’t say that when Sharon was born and Steve became her uncle that’s a little fucking weird. What the hell was Steve’s ending Russos? Steve’s arc was throughout his trilogy and later Avengers movies was finding his place in the modern world and finding Bucky. He did so much to get Bucky back only to leave him?! Come on, he knows how it feels to be alone in a different time why would he do that to Bucky? Someone who he fought for and said “Till the end of the line” but he broke that promise. Steve’s at the end of his line already by the end of Endgame. So what’s left of that promise? Nothing, it was dusted. 

So yeah, I’m upset about Steve’s ending. An entirely better way could have just been that maybe he’s the one that dies (I would have been upset probably, but it would be very him) instead of Tony. Because Steve has always been the one to sacrifice himself. That would be his arc, seeing the situation going so fucking south that he’s like “Whatever it takes!!” And he gets that gauntlet and snaps. Or maybe he loses his super soldier serum and that’s how he survives but gives the shield to Sam instead. I haven’t really thought of this one so you can add on.

Tony, god Tony’s ending fucking hurt. Tony’s death, his funeral, all of it. It was unfair. All he wanted was a domestic life but the Russos gave that to Steve even though Steve’s character would not want that domestic life? Tony could have been rested not by death but with his little girl, his wife, Peter who he finally got back, knowing that his friendship with Steve is better now. And could grow better if the two were still alive. That was Tony’s deserved arc, fighting the fight to end the fight so he could GO HOME and be with his FAMILY. That’s what should have happened. That’s what he deserved. Go ahead and tell me otherwise. I know it’s shorter of an explanation than Steve’s but that’s mostly because people know Tony better and I think people can agree with me on this more. Pepper didn’t deserve to see Tony die, Peter too, and his best fucking friend Rhodey. They knew he fought this fight to end it so he could spend some time and just retire to be with his family. 

Ways to fix this: Not kill Tony. Have someone else wield the gauntlet. Steve perhaps? Or maybe even Thor. 

Edit [4/29/19]: I am now a little more accepting of Tony’s death but I’m just tired that it has to be through death to have the future Avengers come in. I’m tired that there always has to be angst and whatnot(which I talk about towards the end of this meta) to make things realistic. Realistic =/= sadness and negativity and all of that shit. Happy endings can be realistic. But I’ll always be sad. Here’s a good meta that explains something very well regarding his death: (link) by @van-dyne. 

I would have actually been fine if Tony died if he didn’t have his little girl. (Find Tinymintywolf’s side twitter, not her art twitter, for an explanation on this). But then they introduced Morgan and whoop there it is, he has a family what he’s been wanting for so long. 

Thor is an Asgardian and we’re all aware of how much his mental health was hit. Yet he was reduced to a fucking joke. Like wow hahahaha so funny—not. I feel like, Thor wouldn’t need a redemption arc. But I know in his mind, he’d feel like he should because he blames himself, right? If he were to wield the gauntlet instead, it would make himself feel better about himself, better about being the king his people needed while still being an Avenger. Thor also shouldn’t have left his people. So let’s say he does wield the gauntlet. He goes back to his people and he finally feels worthy to lead. So that’s what he does, he finally gets back to being the king that his character arc had developed for him in his own trilogy, and being an Avenger. That should have happened.

It just makes sense because each movie was mostly about him building his way up to become the king he was supposed to be. Those few lines he exchanged with Valkyrie along the lines of “maybe I shouldn’t be the person I’m supposed to be but rather the person I [need/want] to be” ??? I can’t remember. I just thought that was lowkey like, wot. But for further emphasis, the first movie was about how he wasn’t worthy to hold the hammer or even be king. The second one was figuring out how to be a good man and a king. The third was trying to figure if he was the one to actually be king, and at the end of Ragnarok, he is. 

If Thor weren’t to wield it, then maybe Hulk. What if Bruce just lost Hulk. Then it’s just Bruce and he could be himself. Like the whole Professor Hulk thing was pretty interesting and I didn’t have a problem with it. This is just a little thought that I didn’t really think much on so you can add on to this too.

Now we get to Nat. Nat and Clint’s little fight with each other was very much in character. I don’t really like MCU Clint, I think the whole farmhouse scene could have still been done with one minor change, Laura’s not his wife, it’s his sister or his sister-in-law because he has a brother, Barry!!! Then all those kids are like his nieces/nephews. Anyways, that was the only death that was done that I feel sad but I feel so much closure on, Tony’s, Steve’s, and even Thor’s endings gave “closure” not the right one for each character, as explained before. I’m just upset that there wasn’t a funeral scene for her, or more grieving. Or just, something. 

Then here’s a little idea, not sure if it could work but if Steve was going to go return the soul stone at Vormir, the way the rules work at that mountain is “A soul for a soul” right? Then by giving up the soul stone, can’t he bring back Nat? And if that’s the case then Clint should be the one returning the soul stone. So maybe the reason why when Bruce said (and I got this from a different tumblr post, I forgot who so let me know so I can give credit) he couldn’t bring Nat back was because they already gave the soul stone back (because time travel is whack) and Nat is already back. 

There’s so much more that I’m probably forgetting, I may update or just reblog more. If you guys want to talk or vent, please feel free! I don’t bite! And I’m open to other ideas and just how you think it should have ended. 

Here’s a disclaimer as well: This is not something against the actors and actresses, they all did so well. I think it’s in part a bit of Russos and the writers and anyone else who develops this story. I’m also not saying this because I’m sad Tony’s dead and Steve is no longer Captain America. I would have been fine with Steve not being Captain America anymore if done right.

Also, why does everything always have to be so dark? So edgy? Angsty? It’s fictional so can’t we just... Have that sort of happiness? I’ve watched the MCU for hope, happiness, and you know a good ending. It’s not what I got though. I love the characters, all of them. I like little pellets of angst here and there. But just, why? I’m not sure if I can keep watching the MCU. I still might but I might also just disregard bits and pieces of Endgame.

I just think that the moment you bring in time travel it screws things up. Because essentially it brings in the whole multiverse and if we’re trying the make the MCU one singular timeline, then, uh, hello? Also the entire thing with five years passed but everyone comes back from the moment they disappeared, WOT. Okay, I’m done.

[Minor edit in this Paragraph, 4/29]Overall, I still enjoyed Endgame. A lot. There were so many good moments and a lot of moments where the characters were just them. I loved it a lot and I’m trying to overlook a few things here and there because what I’ve said shouldn’t ruin the movie. I still really enjoyed it a lot. It was good because this was the movie we’ve been waiting for. A nod to the fans, the actors, everyone who created this universe. It was just something that was amazing. @suitofhumour had a really strong point in their post (link) that I’m alluding to here and I don’t want to take credit for it so please, give it a read. Some things don’t sit right with me and I’m so fucking heartbroken over Tony okay, and I’m mad about Steve and Thor. But, yeah. 

[Edit 5/5/19] I GOT ANOTHER THING. If what the former Sorcerer Supreme had said that if one stone got removed from their timeline, there’s nothing that can keep the flow of time, reality, whatever, in check and would ultimately destroy their timeline. Which is why Steve had to go back in time to give it all back seconds after removing it. By that logic, can’t you say that if you were to destroy the stones, then wouldn’t it mean there are no more stones to keep all of the flow of whatever in check? So since the OG timeline no longer has the stones because their Thanos destroyed it, then what? 

Here’s another picture of my dog to calm you down. If needed.

#avengers endgame #endgame #tony stark #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #thor odinson #peggy carter #clint barton #meta #endgame meta #marvel meta #valkyrie #iron man #peter parker #pepper potts #captain america #asgard #my post #my meta

[ladymacbethsspot]

2018- Writing Roundup

As 2018 comes to a close I thought I’d do a round-up of what I wrote this past year. AO3 tells me I’ve written some 200k+ words, though I’m not sure how accurate that really is. What I do know is that this past year I pulled inspiration from fandom friends, creative Anons, official interviews, daydreams, a good little rarepair, and my own life. Some of it was happy, some sad, some angsty, and some even a bit tongue-in-cheek. 

I’ll highlight a few favorites from the year, and then I’ll list everything else!

I wrote a lot for Bottom Erwin week in 2018, but the piece I’m most attached to that came from it was Soaring. There’s just something about the vast loneliness of the desert that makes Erwin’s discovery of someone unique to share its beauty with even more tempting.

What would Eruri smut be without body worship? Body worship is something I come back to again and again in oneshots, and both Morning Glory and Sunkissed are some of the most self-indulgent things I’ve created to that effect. Oddly enough, both of these are shameless frotting fests that probably reveal far too much about my own kinks rather than really doing anything of use. There might even be a chapter 2 to Sunkissed. Someday. When I get off my ass and write it. There is an outline. Ugh.

Of course, Everyone who ships Eruri has guilty pleasures, and I’m no different. We’ve all read those sexy lingerie fics, so I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring with a little twist on that theme in Workplace Etiquette, written for the wonderful @kittyboo8015 ​ . Please note: this fic does not portray acceptable workplace behavior ;P

I like punk Eruris. I like shitty dive bars. I like piercings, and sloppy oral, and the thrill of ill-advised public makeout (and more) sessions. That’s Reggie’s Rock Club, plain and simple. ‘Nuff said.

On the other end of the spectrum was something totally different, and totally new for me. I still don’t know why I wrote School Night. I never thought (never, never, not in a million years) that I’d write teenaged Eruris. I guess I was wrong, and I have no regrets.

Now we get to things I’m still working on. The Found has a somewhat down-and-out second-shift welder Levi encountering the monster-fighting, leather-wearing, achingly-hot Erwin and falling way too hard for anyone’s business. Levi’s weapon of choice is a lug wrench, Isabel is always up to something, there’s a semi-erotic road race, and a good time is guaranteed to be had by all (except Farlan).

The other in-progress work, something I’ve been writing for the better part of the year, is Spellbound. Spellbound is an urban fantasy, but I’d say Erwin’s real problems are much less fantastic than the various monsters he brushes shoulders with throughout. This is the first long-form fic I’ve ever attempted and I’ve received so much wonderful feedback while writing it. I hope readers stay with it as it continues since we’ve still got a way to go in 2019!

Let the credits roll...

Eruri:

Cold Snap

Deep Space 69 (written for @smiss-miss )

So How Did You Two Meet? (co-authored with @acerinky ​ )

Pas de Deux (collaboration with @breannaneo ​ )

Handmade

No One Else (written for @lostcauses-noregrets ​ )

Heatwave (written for @the-memoirs-of-a ​ )

Bits and Bobs (Eruri drabble collection)

Gallirei:

Flannel Friday

Firsts (written for @yellowhunk )

Other:

Dregs (Gen SNK drabble collection)

It’s been a full year for me on many fronts, and a lot of things have changed in my life. Through it all writing has been one of the only constants, and I’m looking forward to the stories 2019 will bring! 

Thank you all for your kudos, likes, reblogs, comments, messages, inspiration, friendship, and more!

#eruri #snk fanfiction #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman #erwin smith #gallirei #wow 2018 #its been quite a year #on writing #my writing

[waywardnerd67]

What The Heart Wants

Summary: (Y/N) wakes up not remembering anything about herself, her life or the Winchesters. As she starts to put pieces together she realizes that she has been hiding something from them for a long time. Unable to hide anymore how will Sam and Dean with her revelation. Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (before memory lapse) Warnings: Fluff/Slight Angst Word Count: 1936 A/N: Alright y’all buckle up and hold on… we are going to get a little angsty, a lot of fluff as always. As always this is unbeta so all mistakes are mine. Likes, comments and reblogs are splendid and I will love you doubly for them! Enjoy!

Everything was blurry as she slowly opened her eyes. Looking around, panic was tightening around her chest as she did not recognize the room she was in. She saw two men at her bedside one with long chestnut hair with his head resting on his arms on her bed. The other man was sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on her bed. He had his arms crossed on his chest and his head hung back with his mouth slightly opened.

She sat up causing the long hair man to stir awake, “(Y/N), you’re awake! How do you feel baby?” he asked her.

The other man woke up startled and then smiled seeing you sitting up, “Hey kiddo, gave us a pretty good scare there.”

She looked between the two of them confused, “Who are you? What am I doing here? Who is (Y/N)?” she was breathing heavily panic spreading in her chest as it started to ache.

The two men looked to one another both seemingly worried. “You’re (Y/N). What is the last thing you remember?” She looked to the man sitting in the chair shaking her head.

“Waking up in this strange room with you two next to me. What is going on? Why can’t I remember who I am?” Her voice was quivering as fear toppled over her panic.

“Your name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean. We all live together because we are hunters.” She looked to Sam as he placed his large hand over hers.

She knew he was trying to comfort her but she snatched her hand from his. She saw him flinch at her reaction to him. “Hunters?” she asked as Dean chuckled slightly.

She watched as the brothers had a silent exchange and then Sam stood up, “Let’s take this one step at a time.” He walked over opening a drawer pulling out a book and handing it to her.

“This is your journal. All of your thoughts and feelings. We’ll leave you alone to read through it so you can know who you are. One of us will come check in on you in a little while.” Sam motioned for Dean to follow him. As he got up he gently placed his hand on her shoulder and she instantly felt her body relax.

They walked out of what she presumed was her room shutting the door. She looked down at the brown leather journal and opened the front cover. In beautiful handwriting was her name on the front page. For the next few hours she read entry after entry of what were her words, her feelings and her adventures with the Winchesters.

She found out that her parents were killed by a werewolf and a man named Bobby Singer had taken her in. She had known the Winchesters since they were kids. She apparently travels the US killing monsters which she found hard to believe. About two years ago, her and Sam started dating which explained why he flinched when she pulled her hand away from him. She felt confused about the fact she apparently loved Sam and yet she wrote about Dean all the time. Then she read the last entry of the journal.

“The hunt went well. Dean and I took out seven vamps as Sam was able to get the victims to safety. Dean and I work well together. Like we can read each other’s thoughts. I wish Sam and I were like that, but communication isn’t our best quality as a couple. There are times I wish I would have made a different decision when Sam asked me out. I knew he had feelings for me. He is a great guy, loving, sweet, not bad on the eyes either. I’m lucky to be with such an amazing man who would take a bullet for me without second though. I just… I don’t know. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this and definitely not feeling it. It’s just… Dean brings feelings up within in that are wild, fire, passionate. I’ve always had feelings for Dean, but never pursued them because he’s a wildcard. You never know what he is going to do and that is scary. It’s also why I love him. I chose Sam because he was safe and eventually my feelings grew for him but Dean has always had my heart. Crap, all these stupid feelings that I had locked away are coming back. I need to stop because there is no going back now. I’m with Sam and that is the way it needs to stay.”

Shutting the journal, she heard someone knock on her door, “Come in.” she said.

“I thought you might like something to eat and drink.” Dean said walking in.

Her heart sped up as he set the tray of food on her lap. Her eyes traveled up his muscular arms to her broad chest and shoulders. His short sunkissed brown hair was unruly as if he had ran his hand through it recently. His cheeks and nose were sprinkled with freckles and his olive eyes were filled with worry.

“Thank you.” She said softly as he said down on the end of her bed. She could tell he wanted to say something. “If you want to say something please feel free too.”

His smile made her heart swell with giddiness as he chuckled, “Even if you don’t know me you can still read me like a book.” He rubbed his hand along his thigh causing her breathing to hitch.

“I know all of this is a lot to take in. Just know that Sam and I will do everything in our power to see about getting your memory back. We will also protect you with everything we have.” She nodded slowly as he patted her leg gently.

“I know. Sounds like you two have been protecting me since we were kids. May I ask you a question?” she asked as he nodded. “Sam and I, are we happy together?”

Dean sighed nervously his hand rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah for the most part. You two have struggles like any other couple and add on top of it having to save the world ever now and again.” He looked up at her and she saw the slightest glimpse of hope in his eyes, “Why do you ask?”

She shrugged, “Just putting all the pieces together. It’s strange to feel like I know nothing about myself and yet know that all of this is my life.” She held up her journal as he snickered.

“Believe it or not I know how you feel. A witch cursed me and I slowly started losing all my memories. For some reason the curse that was used on you was different. No matter what, rather you remember everything or not, we’ll always be here for you.” He got up walking towards her door.

“Dean, thank you again.” She called out as he smiled at her leaving her room.

(Y/N) took the next few weeks to patch everything together. Between her journal, a few entries from the brothers’ journals and pictures she was able to put together at least what had happened in her life before losing her memory. She had many late night conversations with both Sam and Dean about different events in her life.

She could see why originally, she had chosen to be with Sam. He was incredibly caring and understanding as she had kept a little distance between them. They would have deep conversations about Lore or books he had read. The more she got to know each of them individually and together the more it was evident to her that she loved Sam as a friend. Having that conversation with him was going to be hard.

They were sitting outside the Bunker on the retaining wall. It was a particularly cool day for Kansas, the fall winds gently washing over her. “(Y/N) is everything okay?” Sam asked breaking the silence between them.

“Everything is fine, Sam. I just wanted to talk to you about something that has been on my mind for a while.” She looked up to him and saw he knew exactly what she wanted to talk about already.

He smiled softly at her, “I figured this was coming soon.”

“Sam, I care about you a lot. You have been so great these last few weeks helping me put together what my life was before this stupid curse. You mean so much to me.” The guilt rising up within her was choking her.

He placed his arm around her shoulders pulling her into his side as the sob she was holding on to escape her lips. She wrapped her arms around his lean waist crying into his chest as he slowly rubbed her back. She looked up at him seeing tears welling up in his hazel eyes and he gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks.

“It’s okay, (Y/N/N). To be honest, I knew this had been coming before you lost your memory. I’m not mad or upset, I promise. Just promise me one thing.” He looked down at her as she nodded, “Take care of him, protect him and love him always because we both know he will try to push you away.”

She stared at him stunned as he chuckled, “You and Dean have always had a special bond since we were kids. Deep down, I knew one day you would end up with him. The heart wants what it wants. Truly, I wouldn’t want you with anyone else because I know he will have your back always. Plus, if he breaks your heart then I will break his nose.”

(Y/N) laughed as she hugged Sam. They sat outside for a while long chatting. The overwhelming gratefulness she felt towards Sam and how understanding he was to her feelings was astonishing. Over the next few days, (Y/N) gave the brothers some space as Sam told Dean about what happened.

(Y/N) was sitting in the garage writing in her journal as Dean walked in. She looked giving him a smile as he walked towards his ’67 Impala. Lifting the hood, he began to work on her and every so often she would catch him looking up at her. They had not spoken since her and Sam had broken up or since Sam had decided to take some time to himself going to one of Bobby’s cabins.

She continued to write in her journal as he worked on his car. The tension between them was becoming uncomfortable for (Y/N) and she decided to leave him to work on his car in peace. She had reached the stairs when he called out to her.

“(Y/N) wait.” She turned around to see him walking towards her. He was covered in car grease which made him even more attractive. “We, uh… I mean we should probably you know talk or something.”

She smiled at his nervousness which was unlike the Dean Winchester she had read about in her journal. “What is there to talk about, Dean? I’ve been in love with you apparently since we were kids. Before I took the safe route ignoring those feelings because I was scared to feel what I do with you. Now, after everything that has happened, I realize life is too short to be cautious. So, that’s where I’m at. You?”

He stood directly in front her with a smile on his lips. He leaned down pressing those lips against her and she melted against his body. “I’m right there with you, pretty girl. Always.”  

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

My Nerd Herd: @waywardbaby @waywardrose13 @carryonmywaywardcaptain @anotherwaywardsister @ladywinchester1967 @dwgrl1903 @akshi8278 @ericaprice2008 @mirandaaustin93 @spnbaby-67 @time-travel-bouqet @1967-essentialghoul @weirdoblogger69 @dean-winchesters-bacon @jensenyourdeanisshowing @destielhoneybee @-lovepeacenhope- @destiel745 @carribear31 @srsllydunnodoncare @whimsicalrobots @starstruckzonkoperatorbat

#waywardnerd67 #one shot #what the heart wants #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester #dean fanfiction #dean fanfic #dean x reader #dean fluff #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural #fluff