#thinking about how desperately she wants to work in the name of justice for others but.... she has Nobody. how lonely she must feel. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dontyouworrydaddy · 10 months

Note

I have a more dark ask for you, so feel free to ignore it if it makes you uncomfortable. How would TF 141, Konig and Los Vaqueros react when they realize their s/o is a wanted serial killer? They would probably be shocked that such a kind and sweet woman is hiding such a dark secret. To add to the moral ambiguity, she only targets child abusers and rap!sts. Thank you and sorry in advance if this request upsets you.

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧‘𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞?

Task Force 141 (+ König & Los Vaqueros) x fem! reader

Hi! First of all, I feel absolutely comfortable to write about dark themed stuff :) So it’s totally fine and I‘m actually excited to write this. This might take a bit longer than the others, since I think this is a very interesting and good idea.

Love you! 🩷

✩｡:*•.───── ❁ ❁ ─────.•*:｡✩

König

He usually never forgets where he puts his phone. But this time he didn’t know where he put it, so he took your phone to calm himself. But as he unlocks your phone he sees a text coming up and at first he tried to ignore it, since he respects your privacy. But one specific word and a name gained his attention…

Job- Josh Williams

What was this Job? You work as a nurse at the hospital. And who is Josh Williams? Is it someone you are treating? But he for sure would know if you told him about a Josh. Curiosity took over him and he clicked on the notification, wanting to find out what this Job is and who the hell Josh is.

Job- Josh Williams

Child abuser. Was on court, got away with it. Mother is scared he might do something to them. Current Location: England, London. Last seen in Bar Soho, alone. You know what to do Ashley. Send a picture of the body as soon as you’re finished. Good luck.

König was shocked. This got to be some sick Joke. Your name is not Ashley and you definitely wouldn’t harm someone. You can’t even kill a spider and start crying when König tells you to just do it. But he decided to swipe and he sees the conversation between you and this person. And then it clicks.

Ashley, the wanted serial killer in England and Austria, is you? That doesn’t make sense. No.

He lets the phone rest on the kitchen table and calls for you. You were in the bathroom, taking off your make up and getting ready for bed. You just got home from a long and exhausting shift. Or were you really at the hospital?

"Yes, love?“ you enter the room and you see him looking at you. But something was strange. Why is he wearing his mask? And why is he looking at you like you killed someone?

"You’re Ashley?" his voice cold and you could hear the disappointment in his voice. Your smile quickly drops and you look at him completely baffled.

"How?" your voice low and you look down. How could this happen? You made sure that no one ever finds out your true identity. The only thing you let the world know is that your name is Ashley, which is not true, and that you’re fighting for justice, since the government is failing so many women and children. The person who is sending you all these details is your best friend. König likes her because he knows that she is a good influence and you grew up together. But you’re not gonna expose her. Your eyes land on your phone and you don’t know how to feel. Mad because he was on your phone. Or scared that König might tell on you now.

"I can explain" you tell him and he doesn’t break the gaze. You take a step forward but he takes one back. You stop at his reaction and you could swear you felt your heart drop.

"König. I swear I don’t kill innocent people. Only rapists and child abusers. And only then when the government is not doing anything. These women and children are scared and don’t dare to go out because they never know when they might get killed. I swear to you." you desperately explain and your body needs a reaction from him, but he doesn’t react at all. He looks to the side and you wish you could see how he feels now. But he decided to cover his face again, making it hard for you to know how he feels right now.

"Ashley, huh?" his voice is harsh. You don’t dare looking at him. The weight of disappointment settles upon you soul like a leaden cloak, suffocating and heavy, the jagged edges of their expectations carving deep grooves of remorse through the tender fabric of one's self-worth, leaving behind a bitter residue that stains the heart's delicate tapestry for eternity. It is a hollow ache, an echoing chasm where warmth once resided, as the realization of your inadequacy seeps through the cracks of shattered trust, forever haunting the corridors of the conscience with its haunting refrain of missed opportunities and shattered dreams.

“Leave, please" his frigid and callous voice erupted like an icy tempest, each word crystallizing into shards of anguish that pierced the very depths of your soul, leaving behind a lingering ache that whispered of betrayal and shattered trust. You look at him and you can feel the tears build up in the corner of your eyes. Please, no…

“Y/N. Please. I just need time to think” for a second, you hesitate. You don’t want to leave. You both know that what you’re doing is a good thing. Making Women and Children feel safe. But he can’t think straight right now. And you respect that. So without saying anything, you leave, hoping for him to call you as soon as possible. Because your heart can’t stay away from him.

Simon Riley

"Job is done. Payment should follow like usual. Don’t call me unless I call you." you whisper-tell you secret boss. Simon doesn’t know anything about your secret life. You were working as a secret assassin whenever Simon was deployed and when he was at home, you were a nurse.

As you turned around, you saw Simon leaning against the doorframe, looking at you like you were his enemy. At this sight, your heart dropped.

"Simon." you innocently spoke and hid your phone in your back. You smile at him and look at his cold and stony eyes. You felt your heart beat faster and you hope that he didn’t hear you talking about the mission.

"Where were you?" his voice deep and harsh, causing you to jump, since you’re not known to this side of Simon. He would never talk to you like that. He promised himself to be better for you. You gave him nothing but love and comfort so he promised you to be better than ever.

"At the hospital" after these words leave your lips, he starts laughing and shaking his head.

"stop lying" he suddenly yells at you. You take a step back and drop your phone, letting it crack against the cold and hard floor of your shared bedroom. "Where. Were. You. I saw you leave a house. Who was it?" he takes a few steps towards you, closing the distance between you and him.

"Simon. It’s not what you think about." you barely whisper and he lets out a deep chuckle. "Then what is is?" he softly grabs your face with one hand. He usually did this when you weren’t holding eye contact. And now you don’t know how to react. You are already exposed, so you can also just tell him what you did. But if you do, you need to leave tonight. The chances of him calling the cops is too high. Especially when he finds out you’re one of the most wanted female serial killer.

"I killed someone. Someone not innocent. Will Ricksen. He raped his wife and got away with it because he owns a company in the US. The wife got in contact with us because she got threatened by him and she doesn’t want to live with fear anymore. I didn’t cheat on you. I could never. I only kill child abusers and rapists that get away with it. I swear to you, I would never kill someone who is innocent." you close your eyes, afraid to look at him. You were waiting for him to yell at you, scream and tell you how much he is disappointed in you. You were waiting for him to do anything that would break you down, but it never happened. Instead, you felt his rough hands patt the top of your head. And then, the unexpected happens.

Simon pulls you in tight hug and kisses the back if your head. This reaction of him left you confused and baffled. You hesitantly hug him back and bury your face into the crook of his neck.

"Don’t get caught." his voice was trembling and it felt like the inner child in him just spoke. You knew about his traumatic past and you understand his feelings. If you had the chance to kill his father, you would. When he told you his story, you cried. You hugged him so tightly, you were afraid to let go of him.

He didn’t let you go and he reassured you that he won’t tell anyone.

John MacTavish

”The fuck you mean?” you hear your boyfriends voice yell from behind you. You turn around and look at him and quickly end the call. You hope that he wasn’t talking to you but his facial expression and gesture are telling you otherwise.

“What do you mean Josh is dead? Why did this person called you Angela?“ his voice filled with anger, confusion and sadness. His face looks nothing like his usual one. Once, his countenance was a sanctuary of warmth and solace, a sanctuary where his eyes danced with affection and his lips bloomed with a sweet smile that embraced my every arrival. But now, that tender refuge has crumbled into a barren wasteland, where his gaze sears with icy disdain, casting shadows that echo a painful question: "How can I fix this? How do I tell him?"

“Johnny. Please let me explain…" you desperately beg him to let you explain what exactly is going on but it looks like that he has heard enough.

"Don’t call me Johnny. I loved you, Y/N. And now you’re lying to me? You’re a murderer? What exactly do you expect me to say? Oh yeah it’s okay it’s totally not quite the opposite of my Job. Funny, the guy that protects people is dating someone that harms them?" his frustration got the best of him and he doesn’t care if he is hurting you right now. He feels betrayed and hurt. And he wants you to feel the same things. You don’t mind. If your positions were swapped, you would have reacted the same way. But you wish he would let you explain now.

“John. Please. Let me explain. I‘m begg-" you were cut off by him smashing the class on the kitchen table against the wall next to him. You flinch and you feel your heart beat faster than usual. You could feel yourself getting pale.

“Why? I don’t get it. I don’t want to see you.” his cold voice spoke and you felt your heart stop beating. No.

"John, please" you took steps towards him, trying to fight for him, trying to show him that you’re not a bad guy.

"Stop." his harsh voice yelled at you and you stopped right where you are. "Don’t. I love you. But I need some time now. I won’t tell anyone. Just- leave me alone now" without looking back, he smashed the door behind him, making you flinch and leaving you there, heartbroken and angry at yourself. You don’t regret anything. You only regret letting him find it out like that.

John Price

In the dimly lit living room, tension crackled like static electricity between John Price and you, as the weight of unspoken grievances strained the fragile threads of your relationship. The air grew heavy with unspoken words, suffocating the room as your gazes clashed like opposing storms, each thunderous stare hinting at the brewing tempest within.

"John. I swear I‘m not betraying you. Give me a chance to explain! PLEASE! I swear on everything that is important to me, it’s not what you think" you beg him to let you explain your situation. This wasn’t how he was supposed to find out. He wasn’t supposed to know at all. Why couldn’t you talk a little quieter? Why did you even answer the phone, knowing John was at home.

"Shut up! Stop talking!" with a voice tinged with restrained anger, John's steely gaze bore into you, his eyes reflecting a mixture of disappointment and frustration. It was as if the unspoken accusations hung like a heavy fog in the room, obscuring the truth and suffocating any chance for reconciliation.

As the argument escalated, voices rose, echoing off the walls like distant thunder, their words slicing through the air like sharpened blades. Frustration mingled with regret, staining the once sturdy foundation of trust that had held your relationship together. The silence that followed was deafening, a void filled with unanswered questions and shattered hopes.

"I‘m leaving" with a pained expression etched on his face, John turned away abruptly, his footsteps echoing down the hallway as he left you behind, adrift in a sea of unanswered emotions. The weight of his absence settled heavily upon you, the room now filled with a haunting emptiness, leaving you yearning to fill the void and desperately longing for a chance to explain, to bridge the gap that had formed between you.

But for now, all that remained was the echo of an unfinished argument, the lingering ache of shattered camaraderie, and the unanswered plea to understand what had gone so horribly wrong.

You wish he let you explain.

Kyle Garrick

As the sun cast its warm glow upon the bustling city streets, you found yourself standing face-to-face with Kyle, a knot of tension coiling in your chest. Emotions simmered beneath the surface, threatening to spill over as the air crackled with the impending storm of their argument.

"You, Kyle…" you began, voice trembling with a mix of frustration and hurt, "cannot simply just not give me a chance to explain and expect me to accept it without question. You always let me explain. What’s happened now?"

Kyle's jaw tightened, his eyes flashing with a mixture of defiance and weariness. "You being a serial killer" he sighed, his voice laced with a hint of exasperation, "I- You‘re the complete opposite of me and god I don’t know what to say. You kill people? What if they find out? You could get into Jail."

"But Kyle," you pleaded, a note of desperation creeping into your voice, "I just want to understand that I need a chance to explain."

Silence hung heavy in the air, the weight of unspoken words pressing upon them both. Kyle's gaze softened, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he finally spoke, his voice filled with a mix of sincerity and vulnerability.

"Y/N" he murmured, his voice gentle yet laden with uncertainty, "I need some space. I need time to think, to sort through everything. I have to figure things out on my own."

A lump formed in your throat as the weight of his words settled upon you. The reality of the situation washed over you like a cold wave, leaving you feeling adrift and uncertain. Nodding slowly, you whispered, "Kyle- I understand. Take the time you need. Just... promise me you'll come back."

He didn’t even look at you before he responded "Stop" he said, his voice filled with some kind of sadness and disbelief "Just give me a little time."

With those words, a bittersweet ache settled in your heart, as you watched Kyle retreat into the distance, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the hope that, in time, you would find your way back to each other again.

You wished he never found out. But you don’t regret any single thing.

Alejandro

The dusty wind whispered through the corridors of the hidden military base, carrying tension on its ethereal tendrils as Alejandro and you found yourselves embroiled in a heated argument. Snd this only because he went through your phone, for an unknown reason, and he found the photos of the people that got away with Rape. But he didn’t know who they were, so he thought you were hurting innocent people, which you could never do.

"I ONLY HURT PEOPLE WHO HURT PEOPLE" Your voice clashed, words laden with frustration and hurt. The walls trembled with the intensity of the exchange, the air thick with unspoken fears and unmet expectations. Alejandro's piercing gaze met yours, his jaw clenched with a mix of anger and concern. "Mi Amora" he growled, "your job is at the hospital. And now you‘re a serial killer and…"

But defiance burned in your eyes as you stood your ground, your voice trembling with determination. "This is what I do, Alejandro. I protect these people, just like you do. I can't sit idly by while others suffer. It's in my blood. And I will continue protecting these women and children who cry for help!"

Silence settled between you, the weight of your words hanging heavy in the air. Alejandro's shoulders sagged, and his gaze softened, shimmering with unshed tears. "You're right," he conceded, his voice filled with both admiration and fear. "You're brave, stronger than anyone I know. I'm proud of you for fighting for what you believe in, for protecting those who can't protect themselves."

The words hung in the air, bridging the gap between you. Emotion washed over both of you, dissolving the anger and replacing it with a newfound understanding. Alejandro pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms a shield against the uncertainties of your chosen path.

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hardstraykidshours · 1 year

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Can I make a request?👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Y/N wakes up from a wet dream needy af but Minho isn’t next to her (he’s in the bathroom or something) and she nearly starts crying from frustration before he comes back. Make it absolute filth thank you

anon. anon please have mercy on me. i am mere mortal. this idea had my head spinningggggggggg wowowwowowwow! wet dreams about minho???? wowie zowie.

i hope you like it - i've never written anything quite like this before so i hope i did your wonderful idea justice with the level of filth requested.

❤️ courtney & abbie

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pairing: minho x afab!reader

genre: smut smut smut, 18+ (minors dni)

length: 2.0k

warnings: profanity, sexual/suggestive content, wet dream, dom!minho, sub!reader, masturbation (f), sex toys, choking, teasing, praise, pet names, unprotected sex (please wrap before you tap), afab reader, nsfw 18+ (minors dni)

you wake up with heavy breath, a sheen of sweat covering your skin as your eyes quickly blink awake. you stir and feel the noticeable wetness between your legs. needless to say you had a pretty intense sex dream about minho last night. your mind was still reeling at all of the things you imagined, the things he's done to you, the things you need him to do to you. you rub your thighs together to relieve the ache in your core.

as you turn over to glance at minho's side of the bed, you realize he isn't there. that's when you notice the dim glow of the bathroom light shining under the bathroom door as the water to the shower turns on. minho has a really busy day ahead of him, so even though you crave him desperately right now, you know he needs to head to work early, and you don't want to distract him. but the feeling between your legs is proving more and more difficult to ignore.

'well it's nothing I can't take care of myself I guess, i've got some time while he's in the shower anyways,' you think to yourself as you pull your panties down to allow yourself access.

dipping your hand underneath the blankets, you rub your fingers through your dripping folds. you honestly shock yourself with how wet your are, that dream about minho worked you up more than you thought. you throw your head back slightly as you lightly graze over your clit. you reach into the nightstand and pull out your vibrator, clicking it on before gently pushing it inside your aching pussy. you're careful to not moan too loudly so minho won't hear. you usually only masturbate when minho isn't home because if you're both needy, you just have sex, so there was something a little embarrassing about doing so while he's in the other room, which is why you're careful to not cause too much of a ruckus.

even though you're as horny as you are right now, you need more, the things you're doing just aren't enough. you feel like you're concentrating on this so hard, and the fact that this isn't even scratching the itch could make you cry from sexual frustration. growing more impatient, you try and focus even harder, which is why you don't even notice the shower turned off quite some time ago. it isn't until minho opens the door from the bathroom that you're snapped back to reality from your haze of frustration, and you realize the situation at hand.

minho stares blankly at you, hair still damp from the shower and wearing only a pair of sweats. you meet his gaze sheepishly. if your hand underneath the covers wasn't enough obvious enough, the flush on your cheeks and the gentle buzz of your vibrator make it all the more clear as to what's going on. you don't think you've ever turned off a toy faster in your life, immediately discarding it onto the bed next you as you scramble to sit upwards in the bed.

"um hi, i can, i can explain," you stammer.

"i mean it was pretty clear you were masturbating," he states matter of factly, his expression increasingly difficult to read.

"i just, i had a dream about you, and i just needing to get some...stuff out my system. and i know you're so busy today that i didn't want you to run late for work or anything just to fuck me, so i thought, i thought i could just fix the problem myself," you rush to explain the situation to him, face growing hot in the process.

"did you?" he asks.

"did i what?" you respond, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"did you fix the problem yourself?" he clarifies, eyes growing dark with lust.

"oh," you begin, finding it hard to meet his gaze. "um...no. no i didn't. no matter how hard i focused, it was like my body knew it wasn't what i really wanted, so i couldn't get there. it was honestly frustrating."

he slowly crosses the room to you until he's standing at the foot of the bed. "maybe you weren't doing it right."

your eyebrows scrunch in confusion once again, trying to understand what he means.

"show me what you were doing, princess. show me how you were touching yourself," he states, voice surprisingly calm for such a request. "then we can see how we might fix your little problem."

"min, what about work?" you inquire.

"work can wait, this is important," he responds.

your heart beats so fast you think it'll pound out of your chest, cheeks growing redder by the second. obviously minho has seen you in every way possible before, but something about him watching you touch yourself has your blood pumping.

you slowly pull the blankets off of your body, revealing your naked lower half. reaching over, you timidly grab the vibrator and turn it on, immediately continuing your motions as you previously were but much more sheepishly.

"that's it, princess," minho coos, his gaze hot on your skin as his stares at your hand between your legs. "tell me what you dreamt about."

he doesn't miss the way the command makes your pussy clench around the toy. you swallow deeply, trying to find the confidence for such admissions.

"dreamt about you, min," you begin between deep breaths and light moans. "about you inside me, filling me up so good like you always do. about your fingers playing with me. about your pretty hand around my throat."

his dick is getting harder by the second, and you see an obvious bulge forming in his sweatpants.

"you dreamt about all that, baby? you wanted me that bad?" he taunts seductively.

"so bad," you pant.

"wanted me so bad you couldn't wait. you just had to touch your pretty little pussy without me," he shakes his head in fake disappointment. you feel your walls clench around the vibrator again as his words skate across your skin, causing goosebumps to form. "well, from what I can tell, you certainly know how to touch yourself. so i wonder what we could possibly do to fix your problem..."

"min," you whimper.

"yes, princess?" he coos as he crawls on the bed towards you until he's hovering over you.

"please," you beg. "you. you could fix my problem."

"i agree," he states before placing a long kiss on your lips.

he slowly reaches down between your bodies and takes the vibrator from your hand before he starts to pump it in and out of you, pushing it to far inside that his fingers brush across your entrance.

"so wet," he moans against your skin as he presses his lips on your neck. "you really did get all hot and bothered."

he pulls the vibrator out and places it against your clit, causing you to arch your back off the bed as you mewl. he lifts himself upwards slightly so he can look you. he gently places his free hand around your throat.

"this is what you dreamt about?" he asks. you nod rapidly.

he squeezes the pressure points on your neck ever so slightly, never stopping his work with the vibrator against your clit. you moan, the whole sensation has you seeing stars.

"min," is all you manage to get out.

"you like that? i'm making all your dreams come true," he smiles devilishly, drinking in the sight of you slowly coming undone beneath him.

"need you," you finally moan out.

"you've got me, princess," he responds with a kiss to your temple as he lowers his hand from your throat to brace himself above you again.

"need you inside," you clarify.

he sets the vibrator to the side and climbs off the bed to rid himself of his sweats and underwear before settling between your legs again. he rubs his cock through your folds, coating himself with your juices.

"fuck," he moans under his breath. your fingers dig into his shoulder for support.

"ready?" he asks.

"ready," you affirm as he places a soft kiss on your cheek.

he places his tip at your entrance, teasing you as he pushes in ever so slightly only to pull out again.

you playfully glare at him. "min, please, now is not the time for games."

"sorry, you know i love to tease a little," he says with a giggle before kissing your jaw. he leans in closer to your ear. "i especially love to tease after you decided to play with your pussy by yourself, after denying me that pleasure."

he slowly pushes into you as he finishes his sentence, stretching you out in all the right ways. you both hiss as he bottoms out. he takes a second to let you get adjusted to him. after the appropriate amount of time, he finally starts to pump in and out of you. the wetness from all of your arousal and pent up sexual frustration makes it easy for him to slide within you.

"shit, baby, you feel so good. squeezing my cock so good," he grunts between jagged breath. his compliment makes your walls clench around him.

he continues to grind into you, hips connecting each time as he thrusts deeply. eventually he sits up his knees and pulls your hips toward him to tilt you upwards as he continues to thrust into you. the new angle makes you feel him so much deeper, making you feel impossibly full. he grabs the vibrator, turns it on, and places it right on your clit as he continues his motions inside you as he hits that sweet spot inside your cunt. all the new sensations cause you to feel that all to familiar knot building in your core.

"just like that. so close," you mumble between moans.

"cum for me, princess. show me how much you needed me after that little dream of yours," he commands.

your legs begin to shake as your orgasm comes barreling over you. throwing your head back against the pillow, you moan his name like a mantra as your walls clench and relax around him. watching your pleasure wash over you and feeling your cunt squeezing his cock sends minho to his release. moans and grunts are the only things slipping past his lips as hips stutter against you as he cums deep inside you.

he pulls out and collapses from exhaustion onto the bed next you. he notices some of his cum leaking out of you, and he's quick to use his fingers to shove it back inside you, making you gasp at the sudden contact against your overstimulated pussy.

"i'll let you keep that for later to tide you over until I get home," he whispers in your ear, breath dancing across your skin.

you and minho lay there for a moment catching your breath and recollecting your thoughts.

"you know," he finally begins, the tips of his ears turning red. "if you ever have dreams like that, you can always tell me. it's hot knowing that you dream about me like that. and I can tell you when I have dreams about you too."

"i know," you say sheepishly. "i normally would have but your schedule is so busy and i just needed some relief, so i really thought i could just finish things off myself really fast."

"i appreciate that. and i by no means want to prevent you from having some self care," he says. "but if i'm home and we're both horny, please tell me. believe me, i will always make room in my schedule to fuck you."

"thank you," you reply with a laugh. "same here."

his ears grow red again.

"anyways, i love you so much, but i guess i should go to work," he says with a sigh as he gets up from the bed.

"i love you," you say as he leans down to kiss you. "have a good day."

"you too. maybe you should take a nap today, have another dream about me. i wanna hear more of your fantasies when I get home, princess," he says with a playful wink.

#lee know smut #lee know imagines #lee know x reader #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #lee know #stray kids #anon #ask #request #minors shoo #mine #hard stray kids hours #ask: minho is too busy with the cats

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the-anastasia · 5 months

Text

Dark Rise Summary

Leaving this here for anyone else about to read the second book and who remembers f-all from the first one. (And since I couldn’t find a good one online.) Spoilers ahead, obvs:

Will came to London to find out who killed his mom. It was Simon’s dad, Edmund, the Earl of Sinclair. He worked on Simon’s ship and tried to subterfuge it. His mom’s old servant finds him and gives him a medallion. He was caught by Simon’s men and shackled down in one of Simon’s ships. All Simon’s men got a brand on their arm, a letter S. Tom was there that day to get the brand and his sister Violet followed him. Stewards attack the ship trying to get one of their own back from Simon - Marcus. They fight. Justice fights Tom and when they fight in the ship a crate opens and it’s the corrupted blade and it starts destroying the ship and it can kill people with a touch but Will manages to sheathe it and tells to Violet to get everyone out and she does but then comes back to help Will. Since Justice found them there on the ship he assumes they were both Simon’s prisoners and takes them to an inn and tells them the ancient history. Violet tries to go back to her family but overhears her dad saying he only kept her alive cause she and Tom are both lions and Tom needs to kill another lion to get his full powers so she sashays away. Justice takes Violet and Will to the hall of Stewards (formerly the hall of kings). He thinks Will is the blood of the lady cause of the medallion. The lady is who killed the dark king in the past. They train in the hall of stewards and the elder steward tries to get Will to reach the light inside him and bring a dead hawthorn tree back to life but he can’t. Elder Steward tells Will the dark king will be reborn and Simon is trying to bring him back. The first step is to unleash a shadow.

One night Will and Violet hear some Stewards returning from patrol and sneak out to eavesdrop. Justice and others heard where Marcus might be and went out to get him but it was a trap. James was there. In old world he was servant of light but turned and started serving the dark king. He’s called the betrayer and he is a reborn so he can use magic and almost killed them all. Will thinks they want Marcus back so desperately cause he knows how to summon a shadow. Violet says she could find out how to get him back.

They sneak out back to London and she goes to back to her family and overhears where James will be alone and when. Will goes to secretly meet Simon’s fiancée Katherine and they develop a thing. When they return to the hall they are taken and shackled. Apparently Cyprian never trusted Violet, an outsider, so he followed her. They tell her they know she’s a lion and lions fought for the dark king so she must be bad. They try to tell them they know how to get to Marcus but no one trusts them. Then surprisingly Cyprian comes to free them and sneak them out. Marcus was his brother (The high janisarry adopted them both after “losing his son”). Cyprian says if there’s even a small chance they’re telling the truth and they could get Marcus he’ll risk it.

They corner James at Robert Drakes Ivory shop. Devon the last unicorn works there. He hides his identity. They capture James and slam some anti magic shackles on him and bring him back to the hall. The stewards have a severed unicorn’s horn (Devon’s) and it compels someone to tell the truth but you gotta stab them. Will takes it and with a slow, homoerotic precision stabs James in the shoulder. They learn that the High Janissary is his real dad. He was kicked out as a child when they found out who he was. Scared and alone he found the only person willing to take him in, Simon’s dad. They learn where Marcus is being held. That Simon is looking for a powerful artifact and that a man named Gauthier had come to England with it. But then James also tells them all the truth about the cup of the Stewards. The cup is what the novitiates drink from to get their steward strength. But it’s cursed and eventually turns them into shadow. Four kings of the Hall were offered great power in exchange for a price by the dark king. 3 of them agreed and drank from the Cup. Those who drank gained extraordinary physical abilities for a time. But when their time was done they turned into shadow kings controlled by the dark king. Chaos in the hall ensues. Everyone realizes the stewards are desperate to get Marcus back cause he about to be shadow boy. They plan a full frontal assault to get him back.

Will tells Cyprian and Violet there might be another way. They sneak out and Will goes to meet up with Katherine. They kiss and a Hawthorne tree in the garden by her house blooms. Katherine freaks out and asks Will “what are you”. Her lady’s maid came out looking for her but before they parted Will tells Katherine Simon is not a good man and if you ever feel in danger come to the marsh (where the hall is) and you’ll be safe. Failing to get any useful information from Katherine the three return but Marcus had already turned and came into the hall and killed everyone. Elder Steward managed to fight him and kill him cause she was almost shadow herself at that point before dying herself. The only survivors were her two janissaries, Grace and Sarah. Janissaries fail the test and so don’t drink from the cups. They become knowledge keepers, scholars, artisans, etc.

They go to find Gauthier and James is already there. A novitiane (Emery) had freed him after they left cause he had the feels for James. They overpower and shackle him again. Apparently the mighty artifact Gauthier has is a collar that controls James. Ones its on it can never be removed. The Dark King used it to control James then had him executed so he can be reborn with him. The executioner kept the collar and it was passed down through generations to Gauthier. It’s dark power ending their family line to one sad old man hanging on to the collar. Will decides to free James and gives him the collar.

Katherine and her little sister Elizabeth do come to the hall after she overhears Simon talking about killing people. She says Simon said he needs the blood of the lady to release the shadow kings from a stone they’re trapped in and that will make the dark king return. Will realizes Simon can use the blood of his mother where she was killed so he sneaks out and goes to the place. He kills Simon’s remnants and then Simon (but not before he managed to release the shadow kings). Simon tried to kill Will with the corrupted blade but of course it didn’t work on Will cause surprise surprise he’s actually the dark king reborn. Turns out his mom had tried to kill him. Katherine and Elizabeth were her daughters who she gave away to protect them. Devon appears there and tells him he knew who he is all along and calls him my king for some reason (even though the dark king slaughtered the unicorns who were fighting with the stewards). Devon also kills his boss and friend Robert after Robert steals his horn back and gives it to him saying he knew all along. Frankly, Devon just doesn’t make any sense. Katherine apparently followed Will and overheard everything. Will tells her she’s the one who made the tree bloom and she’s the blood of the lady. They can hear two shadow kings coming for her. Will commands them back to the stone. Katherine is scared of Will. She picks up the sword to fight him but the corrupted blade kills her.

Back in the hall Elithabeth stumbles and touches the dead tree and it comes to light and they realize she’s the blood of the lady. The third shadow king is there and breaks through the hall wards. Violet tells them all to run and stays to fight the king. She defeats him with a lions shield that was hanging in the hall as a relic of the old world.

Will goes to an inn to write a letter to Katherine’s aunt and uncle who were taking care of her. James shows up there. He doesn’t know who Will actually is and tells him he’s there to follow Will. Will says “Of course you are.”

Characters:

Will Kempen - the dark king (Sacrean) reborn. Dark king gave the order to kill all his servants so they be reborn with him.

The Lady - her and dark king loved each other and she killed him.

Eleanor Kempen - Will’s mom. The Lady’s descendant. Sister Mary was killed by Simon. Also mom to Katherine and Elizabeth.

Mathew - servant who worked for Will’s mother. Gave him her medallion.

Violet - Will’s friend. Half Indian on mother’s side. Half brother Tom. Super strength. Father kept her alive so Tom could kill one like him in order to come into his power.

Simon/Lord Crenshaw - Descendent of dark king who wants to bring him back. Coat of arms: three black hounds.

Tom - Simon’s lion. Super strength. Violet’s bro.

Stewards - keepers of the last flame. And of the knowledge of the old world. Fighters for the light. Wear white.

Janissaries - those who don’t wanna be stewards or fail the tests. Wear blue.

Novitiates - training to become stewards. Wear grey.

Marcus - Steward. caught by Simon. Cyprian’s brother. Turned to shadow.

Cyprian - the book’s Draco Malfoy. Novitiate.

High janissary Jannick - Cyprian’s and Marcus’ adopted father. Biological dad to James.

Justice - Steward. Was sheildmate to Marcus.

Elder steward / Euphemia - the wisest and most powerful Stewards.

Grace and Sarah - Elder Steward’s janissaries. Grace is more put together.

Leda - Steward captain

Katherine Kent - Simon’s fiancée.

Elizabeth Kent - 10yo. Katherine’s sister.

James St. Clair - Dark kings sexy boy toy. The Betrayer reborn. Used to be on side of light before the king slapped a collar on him and used it to control him and possibly also took him to bed.

Remnants - have part of ancient dark kings inner guard’s armor. The book’s Nazgûl. All living things wither at their touch.

Valdithar - Will’s brave horsie

Devon - unicorn. Clerk of ivory merchant Robert Drake. Sometimes a runner for Simon.

Gauthier - descendant to Rathorn, who executed the betrayer.

Objects:

Magic Mirror - in which Will looks into the past and sees the lady. He finds this mirror in a warehouse by the docks. It’s never mentioned again.

Medallion - inscribed “I cannot return when I’m called to fight so I will have a child” AKA the hawthorn’s flower, The lady’s medallion. Will’s mom had it. It got passed on to him.

The corrupted blade - used to be sword of the champion, Ekthalion. Corrupted by one drop of blood of dark king. Legend has it a champion can restore it.

The final flame - atop the hall

Shield of rassalon - shield of the first lion

The hawthorn tree - The tree stone in the hall of Stewart’s used to be tree of light. The lady’s touch will bring it back to life and make it shine

Cup of the stewards - they drink from it to get strength but eventually it turns them dark. “calico del re”. That’s why they’re in pairs and have shield mates. To watch for change and kill the other when the time comes.

The shadow stone - 3/4 kings made bargain with the dark king. They got power but upon their death turned into creatures of shadow. Are trapped in the stone. Will commands two back into the stone after they’re released. One is killed by Violet.

Gold collar with rubies - controls James. Never opens once it’s on.

Quotes: “Kindness is never a mistake, somewhere in the heart it is always remembered.” Pg104 (nothing to do with the summary I just like it.)

#dark rise #dark heir #cs pacat #will kempen #james st clair #dark rise summary

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queerpumpkinnn · 7 months

Note

Hi can you write a Robin Buckley x reader fic, where Robin and reader were each other's first kiss (they didn't tell anyone)and now are partner for a science project. At first they dont realize who each other are, but once they realize it it's awkward, eventually reader asks Robin if she wants to go on a date and Robin says yes

Of course! I fell in love with this idea as soon as I read it, I love Robin with my whole heart and I hope I did her justice.

we fell in love in october

1.8k words

Summary: The cute girl in your science class has a first kiss story that's strikingly similar to yours.

Pairing: Robin Buckley x reader

Warnings: None, but let me know if there should be!

You didn't think anything of it at first. But then again, that's usually how these things go.

When you stepped into class on the first day of school, taking the first empty desk you saw, you didn't think it would ever make a difference. You didn't think you'd even spare your seatmate a second glance, planning to daydream through the entire period.

But the more you sat near her, noticed her in your peripheral, you found yourself leaning back to get a better look- still trying to be as subtle as possible. She was leaned back in her seat, legs spread open in a manner that would earn a side-eye from most parents, right leg tapping furiously. Her arms were folded comfortably over her middle, and she was chewing on her lip. Her eyes darted towards you, and she gave you a shy wave.

Shit. You hadn't realized in your curiosity that you'd actually turned your head all the way and were now staring at her. You ducked your head, giving an embarrassed 'hi'.

Robin seemed to be opening her mouth to say something, but it snapped shut when the teacher, with a very dinosaur-like face and cat-eye glasses, cleared her throat in a shrill and exaggerated manner. She began calling out names, and you let out a quiet breath.

You were now hypervigilant about how often you glanced at her, cheeks warming every time she caught your gaze. It wasn't panic that flared up in your stomach, but you weren't sure what else to name it. Excitement, perhaps?

"Buckley, Robin."

"Here!" Your seatmate raised her hand, and upon further inspection, you noted the chipped black paint on her nails. Her fingers and wrist were adorned with silver jewelry. It waved, and shit.

She caught you again. Your head whipped back towards the front, and you could have sworn you heard a quiet laugh.

. . .

"Today's the day, Pop."

Your head fell back, a groan paving the way for an exhausted laugh.

Robin had given you the nickname Pop a month into school, after she'd made a comment that you, like Mary Poppins, were "practically perfect in every way". You'd laughed it off and rolled your eyes, spending the rest of the day desperately praying nobody asked why you were smiling to yourself.

It was October now, temperature dropping rapidly and making way for snow season. So every time Robin trudged into class her cheeks and nose were tinged pink, making your staring problem- which Robin had long since told you she picked up on and teased you for- much worse.

"Don't remind me." You sighed, grinning.

"Wonder how she'll do it." Robin scooted her chair in, folding her arms over the desk and resting her chin on them. "Arrange partners, I mean."

You shrugged. "I just hope I don't get stuck with Carol."

"Ooh, yeah. You'll get stuck doing the entire project." Robin agreed.

"Hem hem!" You winced at the sound. Robin snickered, hiding her face in the crook of her arms to stifle the noise.

The teacher droned on and on about what you assumed was the relevance of the project, how it would impact your grade, and how she would be grading it. You didn't hear, Robin was making faces to mimic your fossil of a teacher.

"You'll be working with your seatmates, and no, there'll be no exceptions."

Your ears perked at that. You and Robin looked at each other in sync.

Robin's face, though it was excited, had a strange undertone of shock. Like she'd just realized something; what it was you had no clue.

"Guess you didn't get Carol after all." Robin smiled, but it didn't quite meet her eyes. She looked a little panicked, actually.

"Thank God." You rolled your eyes, then glanced at the clock. "There's no way we're going to get this done by Monday."

Robin was looking over the material. "Yeah, definitely not."

"We're gonna have to meet up over the weekend, when works for you?"

Robin looked up abruptly. "Sunday," she blurted out after a second.

Sunday.

. . .

You shouldn't have spent as much time as you did standing in front of your mirror, glancing at the clock and then back at your hair.

You'd spent the entire morning cleaning your house, checking and re-checking if your room looked appropriate for company. You had your books and papers laid out neatly over your comforter, finding nothing else and everything to fuss over.

When the doorbell rang, you leapt from your seat, nearly slipping on the hardwood floor as you scrambled.

When you opened the door, Robin gave you a wave. That same awkward wave she'd given you on the first day of school. Your heart fluttered.

"Brought us a little pick-me-up." She held up a plastic bag in the other hand.

"You're a lifesaver." You stepped aside to let her in, blinking at the proximity as she passed you. She was actually in your house. You thought you might shit yourself.

You led her to your room, sitting awkwardly on your bed as she stood looking around, taking short steps as she took in your posters and pictures and furniture. You watched her, trying to gauge a reaction. Did she think your wallpaper color was immature? Was there dust on a picture frame you'd forgotten to swipe off?

When she glanced over at you, you expected her to make a joke but instead she winked.

You certainly weren't expecting that.

Robin laughed at your stunned reaction, sitting down next to you. "Sorry Pop, force of habit." Her head was ducked, curtained by chestnut hair. She ruffled it, tsking.

You cleared your throat, reaching for the plastic bag she'd left on the nightstand. "So, what'd you get?"

It turned out Robin had gotten coffees. While you sipped yours happily while you worked, you noticed Robin pursing her lips and scrunching her nose every time she took a sip. You wondered why she got coffee if she didn't like it, but didn't press.

Speaking of work, you made very slow progress. Your conversation went off topic a few too many times, too busy laughing and too engaged in stories to work and talk simultaneously. At some point you'd abandoned the project completely, lying side by side on your bed and staring at the ceiling.

"So you've never had your first kiss?"

You frowned. What's so bad about that?

She caught on immediately, shaking her hands. "Not that that's a bad thing! It's just, you're really pretty, so that's a little hard to believe, you don't just have guys lining up?"

You were fidgeting with your fingers. "Technically... okay, you cannot tell anyone."

Robin rolled over on her stomach, chin resting in her palm.

"When I was little, probably seven or eight, I made friends with this girl at the park. I didn't know her, I don't even remember her name, but she was really nice. She had so many band-aids on her legs, and she wore this old baseball cap with a smiley face on it. Anyways, us being dumb little kids, we kissed under the slide. It was more of a peck, really, and she ran away as soon as we did it. I never saw her again. But anyway, I don't know if I really count that as a first kiss, because I was so young and it obviously wasn't a romantic thing.."

Your voice trailed off when you noticed Robin's expression. Her jaw was hung open, and she wasn't blinking.

"Robin?" You asked, voice hushed and tense, but she didn't speak. She sat up, rigid in her movement, and walked slowly out of the bedroom, hands folded over her mouth.

The reality of what you'd just confessed hit you like a truck. You told her you'd kissed a girl. Even with how much you padded it over by saying it happened when you were young and stupid and that it meant nothing, fact was fact and if it gets told to one wrong person, it can get warped and twisted into some predatory lie and you could end up kicked out of the house and getting beat up behind grocery stores.

One minute passed. Two, three. Finally you couldn't stand the silence and hauled yourself onto your feet.

Robin was standing just outside the door, leaned against the hallway wall with her arms crossed, one hand picking at her lip. Her head jerked to look at you, cheeks paled despite the warm light from your bedroom washing over her normally honey skin.

Your hand was shaking on the doorknob, lips chapped as you opened them to speak. "I know what it sounds like-"

"You remember the hat?"

Your brows furrowed. "Huh?"

Robin shuffled past you, reaching elbow-deep into her backpack until she tugged out a tattered old snapback with a very familiar yellow stitching on the front.

Your jaw fell open. You looked, dumbfounded, between her face, equally awestruck, and the hat.

"That was you?"

Robin nodded. "That was me."

You smiled, even if only out of anxiety. "You ran away from your first kiss."

"Hey, you surprised me!" Robin threw her hands in the air. She was smiling again, ruffling her hair and shaking her head. She turned to you, who was sat back on the bed now. "Anyways, you don't even consider that a first kiss."

You shrugged. "I didn't like you then."

"But you like me now, eh Pop?"

You froze. Robin laughed, flopping back down onto the mattress. "Kidding, kidding."

But she was still chewing her lip, ducking her head down so that her hair shielded her face. You stared at her rifling through papers, resifting as though she herself didn't know what she was looking for.

"Robin."

She looked up, the most bashful you'd ever seen her.

Your body acted on its own. Your lips caught hers in a moment of reckless abandon. Briefly, before panic settled in, and you began to draw away, but a hand on the back of your neck pulled you back in.

The world around you seemed to fade, the only thing going through your racing mind was the shock of your own actions. The fact that you were actually kissing her.

When you broke the kiss, she chased after you, forehead rested against yours. Her eyes were still closed as though scared to open them, breaths held. Her hand was shaking against your skin.

When they did open, they were wide and terrified. You winked at her, and they softened, laugh lines closing around her eyelids.

The silence was deafening. She rested her face in your shoulder. It wasn't until she started giggling that she looked up.

"What's so funny?"

"I didn't run away this time." She grinned.

"Good for you, Robin." You rolled your eyes, pressing another chaste kiss to her lips.

You sat there for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes, fingers tracing over hair and jawlines. That is, until Robin jumped, clapping her hands against her thighs.

"The project! Shit, it's so late!"

Shit.

Robin Buckley Masterlist

Sapphic September Masterlist

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Main Masterlist

#robin buckley #robin buckley x reader #stranger things #robin buckley x you #robin buckley imagine #robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley x y/n #stranger things 3 #stranger things 4 #stranger things au #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things s4

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sequinsmile-x · 3 months

Text

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty One

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends,

As ever, thank you so so much for your love on this fic. It means so much.

Sorry for the small delay on this chapter, real life is truly kicking me in the butt at the moment and I didn't have the mental energy to give SGW the love and attention it deserves until now! (I cannot express how complicated a fic gets when you get to 60+ chapters. I have timeline documents and everything haha)

I really hope you like this one, and please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He was furious.

The anger had taken residence under his skin, squirming and shifting in a way that made him itch. The feeling had taken residence the morning after the incident with the bomb. He’d woken up like he usually did when he was home - Emily pressed up against him, her mouth open as she still slept soundly, none of the stress of the previous day anywhere to be seen. As she shifted in his embrace, moving impossibly closer, the anger had set it, fueled by the knowledge of how close he came to losing this, to losing her.

He was angry that it happened in the first place, that the ego of one man could have lost him the love of his life. He was angry that he was just expected to carry on, to move forward like it happened at all. Most of all, he was angry that nothing had been done about it yet. That Carson was suspended pending an investigation he knew would take far too long for his liking to be solved or, at worst, swept under the rug.

He’d had nightmares about it ever since, his subconscious spitting out images of the building exploding with her still in it, of her funeral. Clear-cut pictures in his mind of Lily wearing a tiny black dress as she sat on his hip, confused about where her mother was as she clung to his jacket. It was better when he was at home. He’d wake up with Emily next to him, or half on top of him, an immediate reassurance that everything was okay - that she was still right there with him. When he was away on a case it was worse, the cold empty sheets next to him doing nothing to salve his panic. More than once he’d found himself reaching for his phone, about to call her, when he would stop with his finger hovering over her name. He didn’t want to put this on her too, didn’t want to make her have to look after him when it was her who had come so close to losing her life.

In the four weeks that had passed since the incident, Emily had been off work. Strauss had insisted, claiming that she needed to work through what had happened. She also said it would be best that she wasn’t at work whilst the investigation was ongoing, so more fractures didn’t appear in the counterterrorism team. It had already split right down the middle, half the team on her side, furious that Carson had put her in that position, and the other half convinced that the only reason the investigation was happening was because of who her husband was.

What had surprised him more than anything, was Emily’s complete lack of resistance to the order. She hadn’t fought it, hadn’t even said a bad word about Strauss and her decision to him in the safety of their own home. Instead, she’d taken it in her stride, taking in every extra minute with Lily and Jack when he was with them. Aaron knew he needed to talk to her about it, to help her figure out what she wanted to do next, but she was hesitant, avoiding the conversation at every turn.

He clenches his teeth as he knocks on the door in front of him and steps into the office, pulling the door closed behind him.

“Agent Hotchner,” Strauss says without looking up from her paperwork, “Is it that time of day already?”

He knew he was pushing his luck on some level. He had to come to see her every day since the bomb scare. Fury and a desperation to get justice for his wife, for his family, swirling in his gut. It made him feel permanently nauseous. The others were giving him a wide berth, Derek and Dave only half joking when they said he was in a worse mood than usual.

“The committee hasn’t even set a date yet.”

Strauss sighs and places her pen down, finally looking up at him as she folds her hands together on top of her desk, “As I have already told you, these things take time. If Carson returns it won’t be until after the investigation has been finished.”

His hands form fists at his sides as he thinks about the other man not facing any consequences for his carelessness, “He should be fired,” he says before he can think about it, and Strauss raises an eyebrow at him and he clears his throat, “Ma’am.”

She stares at him for a moment and he thinks he’s going to be reprimanded, but instead, she smiles softly at him, “Why don’t you go home early, see your family. It might make you feel better.”

A part of him wants to argue with her, but the part of him that wants to see Emily and the kids as soon as possible wins out, “I think I might do that. Lily is teething and she’s started to crawl, so there isn’t a huge amount of time to relax right now.”

She chuckles and nods politely, and he takes it as his cue to leave. He’s already turned around when she speaks again, “See you at the same time tomorrow, Aaron.”

He looks at her and sees what he thinks is an edge of an amused smile on her face, something he’d never seen before and he clears his throat, “Yes ma’am.”

He leaves the office without saying goodbye to the rest of the team, desperate to get home and feel the peace he knew would wash over him the moment he stepped through the door.

___

He was in a daze.

Everything around him was happening in slow motion, the sound muffled as if he were underwater. People’s well-meaning sympathies and kind words not registering as he marched slowly behind the coffin just a few paces ahead of him.

She was dead.

Lily fusses in his embrace and he shushes her, rubbing his hand up and down the baby’s back as she presses her face into his neck, unsure about all the strangers around them. She was warm against him, the cool spring air around them a cruel reminder of new beginnings when everything had just come to an end. He can feel Elizabeth’s gaze burning into his back, her disapproval of him bringing Lily to the funeral at all clear. He’s sure he’d care more about her opinion if this weren’t the first time she’d ever laid eyes on her granddaughter.

“I’ve got you Lilypad,” he says softly, keeping his voice low so no one around hears him, “Daddy’s here.”

He feels a small hand clasp the one that isn’t holding Lily and he looks down to see Jack clutching his hand, sadness and confusion shining in his eyes. Aaron looks over his shoulder to see Haley just behind him, her smile sad and an attempt to be encouraging as their eyes meet. They come to a stop near a hole in the ground, cold and dark and where the woman he loves will be forever.

She was dead.

His eyes linger on the plaque on the coffin, gold and bright and oddly beautiful given what was happening.

He had always said she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

He reaches forward, unable to stop himself as he disconnects his hand from his son’s and traces the engraving on the plaque, the final time he’d ever touch her.

Emily Hotchner

October 12th 1970 - March 7th 2011

___

He wakes up with a gasp, choking on a breath as it catches in his chest, tears splashing down onto his cheeks as he sits up.

He looks at the alarm on his nightstand, 2.23 am and the date, March 7th, staring back at him. The date in the dreams always changed, a cruel trick from his brain to make it worse than it already was. As if it wasn’t already visceral enough, as if he couldn’t feel the cold spring breeze on his neck even though he was in his warm bedroom.

He places his hand on Emily’s side of the bed, to feel the warmth of her skin, but all he finds are cool sheets and his heart stops, his breath caught in his chest again as he climbs out of bed, almost tripping over the sheets tangled around his legs.

“Emily?” He calls out, tearing the door open, walking straight into her as he steps out into the hall.

“Where are you off to in a hurry?” She chuckles her hands on his hips as she steadies herself, “The kids are sleeping and if you wake Lily up after I just got her back to…” she trails off she she looks up at his face, her smile fading as she sees the wild look in his eyes, the tension in his jaw as he stares at her. She cups his cheek, “Honey? Are you okay?”

He nods and clears his throat, embarrassment replacing the fear that had been coursing through him just seconds ago as he tries to step back into the bedroom, “I’m fine, sorry I was just-”

“Oh I don’t think so,” she says, grabbing his wrist and stopping him from going any further, “You aren’t getting out of this that easily,” she stares at him, her eyes boring into his, and she knows he could easily get out of her grip, that he could use his strength against her, but he never did. Not unless she asked him to. He sighs and nods, a movement so subtle she would have missed it if she wasn’t looking at him so intently, and she squeezes his wrist before she shifts her hold on him, her palm pressing into his as she links their fingers together, “Let’s go downstairs though, I wasn’t kidding about how long it took to get Lily back to sleep.”

He lets her lead him towards the stairs and he looks at his daughter’s nursery, images of her in his dream, scared and pressed up against him flashing through his mind, “Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” Emily assures him as they walk down the stairs, “She’s just teething,” she says, smiling at him as they head towards the kitchen, “And of course, as soon I go in there she thinks it’s playtime or something,” they both exchange a small smile as they think of the 8-month-old and how she had everyone wrapped around her finger, “I fed her though and she drifted off to sleep,” she scrunches her nose up as she finally releases his hand when they get to the kitchen and she walks to the pantry, “The more teeth she gets the less enjoyable breastfeeding gets, and it wasn’t even that enjoyable to begin with.”

He hums sympathetically as he sits on one of the stools, eager to put off the conversation they came downstairs for as long as possible as he watches her start to prepare hot chocolates, a sign she had some idea what was going on anyway.

“Do you think you’ll start to wean her soon?”

Emily shrugs as she places mugs of water into the microwave, “Maybe,” she crosses her arms over her chest, “Probably. I’d like the freedom of having my body back to myself for the first time since I got pregnant,” she smiles softly, “Especially if we start trying for another one once she’s past her first birthday. But I think I’d miss it. It’s something just for the two of us.”

“That’s perfectly normal sweetheart,” he assures her as she takes the mugs back out of the microwave and places them on the counter to add the hot chocolate powder, “You’ll do the right thing for both of you, you always do.”

She smiles at him before she looks down at what she’s doing, dumping more marshmallows than they’d ever allow Jack into each mug, “So, are you going to tell me what your nightmare was about, or are we just going to stand here and talk about breastfeeding?”

He sighs and clasps his hands together in front of him, cursing how well she knows him, that she can see through any attempt he puts up to protect himself, “Em-”

“Don’t try and tell me that’s not what it was,” she says, placing his mug in front of him before she jumps up to sit on the counter, her feet pressing into his thigh for balance, “I’ve seen that look in your eyes before. I know you had a nightmare,” she stares at him as he stares at his lap, his hand absentmindedly running up and down her calf, “Why won’t you tell me?”

He closes his eyes and blows out a breath before he looks up at her, affection and concern swimming in her dark eyes, and he presses his lips together as he tries to think of a way to explain it to her, “I don’t want to upset you.”

She furrows her brows, “Honey,” she says, reaching out and pushing his hair back from his forehead, “It won’t upset me. What upsets me is you dealing with whatever this is by yourself. We don’t keep things from each other. ”

He knows she’s right, that he should have told her weeks ago, but he hadn’t wanted to burden her, something that felt more and more absurd the longer he sat there. She grounded him. The smell of the sweet hot chocolate in the air, the press of her always freezing cold feet against his thigh through his sweats, the warmth of her love wrapped around him like a blanket.

“I…I keep dreaming about your funeral,” he says, hating how her eyes widen slightly, unable to control her reaction in the middle of the night like she would be able to in the day. “Ever since…”

He drifts off but he doesn’t have to say it, she already knows. She sighs and chews the inside of her cheek, “You’ve been dreaming about this for a month?”

He nods, clearing his throat in an attempt to clear the emotion clogging it, “Yes. Variations of the same thing. I’m at your funeral, I’ve got Lily and Jack with me. I didn’t save you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks, a spark of irritation that he’d kept this from her going off in her gut before it’s extinguished by concern for him.

“I didn’t want to burden you with it, sweetheart,” he says, “I’ll get past it eventually. You’re the one who…this happened to you, not me.”

“It happened to both of us,” she says firmly, reaching for his hand and encouraging him to stand up. She pulls him towards her as he does, wrapping her legs around his waist to hold him in place, she smiles softly as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer, their chests pressed together as she looks up, “I still have nightmares sometimes about what Foyet did and that was almost two years ago. Do you think I should ‘get past it’?”

He frowns at her, his grip on her tightening and he shakes his head, “Of course not.”

She raises her eyebrow at him as she cups his cheek, her thumb scratching against his barely there stubble he’d shave away in the morning, “Then why should you with this?”

He closes his eyes and nods, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, “You’re right.”

“I’m your wife,” she says softly, stamping her lips against his, “I’m always right,” she adds and they both chuckle before she pulls back, turning serious again as their eyes meet, “I’m sorry I didn’t think about how this would be affecting you.”

“Oh, Em, no-”

“I don’t think I would have had the strength to walk away like you did when you had to,” she says, her eyes shining with tears she would not shed, “And I’m sorry I asked that of you. But…I love you for loving our little girl enough to do it. When I thought…” she clears her throat and shakes her head, looking up at the ceiling so she doesn’t cry, “When I thought I was going to die in there, the only comfort I had was knowing Lily would still have you.”

He pulls her closer so her head is resting against his shoulder, his hand running up and down her back as he breathes her in, “She still has both of us.”

She nods against him, “Yeah,” she says, the lingering guilt she’d felt every day since she’d survived turning in her gut. She could have left her daughter without a mother, the very thing she’d told herself she’d never do, “She does,” she tilts her head to look at him, “Want to go snuggle on the couch and watch reality TV whilst we have our hot chocolates?”

He raises an eyebrow at her, “Do I have a choice?”

She playfully rolls her eyes at him, knowing the conversation isn’t over, but that it is on pause for now, “Don’t act like you don’t love it,” she says as she gently pushes him back so she can get down off the counter, “We both know you’re the one who records those shows on the DVR when you’re away on a case.”

He wraps his arm around her as they walk to the living room each with a mug in hand, “And as we have agreed, that information never leaves this house otherwise I’ll tell Derek about the time you queued at ComicCon to meet Kurt Vonnegut.”

She turns her head to press a kiss to his shoulder, “Don’t worry, honey. Your secret is safe with me.”

-x-

Tag List:

@ssa-sparks, @ptrckjcne, @lyds102, @glockleveledatyourcrotch, @hotchnissenthusiast, @danadeservesadrink, @ssamorganhotchner, @emilyprentissisgod, @notagentprentiss, @freesiasandfics, @emilyshotchniss, @thecharmingart, @paulitalblond, @hancydrewfan, @camille093, @whitecrossgirl, @moonlight-2-6, @rawr-jess, @florenceremingtonthethird, @jareauswife, @ms-black-a, @beebeelank, @aubreyprc, @zipzapboingg, @psychopath-at-heart, @criminalmindsgonewrong, @fionaloover, @kinqslcys, @prentissinred, @ccmattis-22, @denvivale317, @thrindis, @hotchsguccitie, @cmfouatslota77, @alexblakegf, @emobabeyy, @victoiregranger, @stormyweatherth, @wanderingdreamer009, @ssablackbird, @luhwithah, @lex13cm, @prentiss-theorem, @dont-emily-me, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @jocyycreation, @itsmytimetoodream, @hotchnissgroupie, @controversialpooh, @capsshinyshield, @canuck-eh

Join my tag list here!

#hotchniss #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss #hotchniss fan fic #emily prentiss fanfiction #aaron x emily #hotchniss fanfic

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gimmequeerbooks · 7 months

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Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (review/rec)

Genre: Fantasy

My rating: 9/10

I feel like Tumblr is well aware of these books already, but I figured it was a solid start as any.

Carry On and its subsequent books was such a pleasant surprise! Years ago, I had read Fangirl, another book by Rowell. And I loved it! I also recommend that one, but there are no LGBTQ+ characters or themes from what I remember. In it, the main character, Cath, was writing a fanfic from her favorite book series from childhood, Simon Snow. Simon Snow evidently involved a teenage boy named Simon whom attended wizarding school. Oddly, some sort of event or disaster would happen at this school every year, with Simon and his friends (but mostly Simon), being at the center of it. Simon would appear to be some sort of “chosen one”. Sound familiar?

Carry On, is the fanfic that Cath was working on. From Fangirl, we already knew that it followed Simon through his last year at wizarding school and that Cath possibly made the best enemies to lovers story known to the world of fanfiction. I actually avoided reading Carry On for a long time because I usually really hate Harry Potter fics. Not to mention that I thought it was going to be a lot like other spin-off books that end up just being boring. Eventually, out of desperation to find more queer stories, I caved, and I found out that my assumptions were absolutely wrong. It turns out that Cath really did write an excellent enemies to lovers story!

The characters are extremely relatable, and over the series we get to see how these characters develop from teenagers to young adults. I love that we also get to see how they react emotionally to the things that have happened to them as well. Unlike a lot of Chosen-One stories where the main trio can just take on challenge after challenge and make it out seemingly unfazed, it feels like Carry On pulls back the curtain on what these sorts of characters would actually be dealing with after facing huge, life-altering events. I’d like to say more here, but I’m afraid that I will spoil them!

The world of Simon Snow is also pretty hilarious. Every once in a while, Rowell will seemingly poke fun at Harry Potter’s plot holes or stupid rules. These books had me laughing when it didn’t have me in Deep Introspection Mode. What with its tongue-twisters of spells taken from nursery rhymes and the main villain being named “The Insidious Humdrum”. That being said, while Carry On perhaps has its roots in Harry Potter, it is a complete story in its own right. Instead of being about the up-and-coming Chosen One and the chaos that ensues, Carry On is more-so about how people can and do move on and grow after their world was turned upside-down. Most Chosen-One stories, and really most young adult fiction books, end with high school, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the Rowell gave Simon and his friends a future beyond just high school. I love how she shows how at every age there are new challenges to face. Life goes on beyond high school!

Of course, I don’t want to forget the reason that these books have made it onto my blog! Where is the gay content!? The main characters, Simon and Baz fall in love, and it’s adorable. Simon doesn’t realize at first that he may be into men, so he has to have a bit of self-discovery there. Meanwhile, Baz thinks he’s pining for a straight boy who could never fall in love with his enemy and rival and hates vampires, like him. It’s like if Malfoy and Harry were to fall in love, except Malfoy actually has some redeeming qualities and proves that he’s quite nice. I feel like this comparison still doesn’t do Simon and Baz justice though. Rowell also shows the awkwardness between first loves and how it may not always be smooth sailing throughout the books. In addition, I have a headcanon that Penelope, another one of the main characters, may be somewhere on the demiromantic and/or demisexual spectrum.

If your in the mood for laughing, some crying (or both at once), discussions about change, and the feeling that you just want to reach into the books to give a hug to people that don’t exist I highly recommend the Simon Snow trilogy.

#queer books #lgbtq+ books #rainbow rowell #simon snow #carry on #simon snow series #gay books #lgbtq+#booklr #books and reading #book review #book recommendations

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chicgeekgirl89 · 10 months

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Day Zero

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: T.K. Strand, Carlos Reyes, Gabriel Reyes, Owen Strand

Rating: T

CW: Non-consensual drug use, mentions of addiction

Summary: After a lifetime of struggle, T.K. is finally clean. He's living with the love of his life, has found a family at the 126, and is creating a future he never thought he could have. Having his sobriety stolen away again wasn't part of the plan. A follow up to the events of 3x12 “Negative Space.”

A/N: I wrote this directly after 3x12 aired and then never posted it because it's such a sensitive topic. I'm hopeful I've done T.K.'s addiction and sobriety and the struggle he might have after the events of the episode justice.

Read on AO3

T.K. is high. He’s floating, drifting, his mind blissfully unaware of anything resembling reality. He knows he’s high, he’s been high so many times that the feeling of it is as familiar to him as breathing.

It should feel good. This is something he craves, not as constantly as he once did, but it’s always there, a sleeping beast, dormant inside him. Waiting. Always waiting. And now he’s finally gotten it again.

But something eats around the edges of the haze, something sharp, fearful. This is wrong. He doesn’t want to be high. He doesn’t want…how did he…what’s…?

He forces his eyes open, the room around him a swirl of confusing colors. He can hear someone yelling, something heavy falling nearby. It takes him far too long to realize he’s on the floor in his bedroom, the carpet under his cheek familiar. Carlos had been eyeing it at Pottery Barn for months even before he bought the loft.

Carlos.

Something warm is pressed up against T.K.’s leg and he slowly turns his head to find his boyfriend’s body splayed out on the floor next to him, eyes closed, form horribly still.

“Carlos,” T.K. croaks, fear and panic combating the effects of the drugs that are swirling through his system.

There’s more yelling close by but T.K. can’t make out what’s being said. His mind is only capable of one thing at a time right now and even focusing on that is difficult. He tries to sit up, but his muscles feel like jello, so he drags himself across the floor, trying to get close enough to check on his boyfriend, fingers reaching out, still too far to do any good.

“Carlos!”

A familiar voice calls his name this time, and seconds later Gabriel Reyes appears, dropping to his knees, his hands going to Carlos’ face. For one horrible, terrible, god awful, heart stopping moment, Carlos doesn’t move and T.K. thinks he’s dead. Really and truly dead and gone.

But then he lets out a moan and sucks in a deep breath, his chest rising and falling and T.K. feels such crashing relief surge through him that he nearly passes out again.

Gabriel turns and puts a hand on his shoulder. “T.K., are you with me?”

T.K. tries to make his mouth cooperate but his tongue too large, and the words in his mind feel like they’re slipping in and out of focus. Gabriel pulls him up into a sitting position, leaning him against the foot of the bed. “Strand! I could use some help in here!” he calls.

“Hang on!” T.K. hears his dad’s voice respond from the other room. “Marjan’s bleeding pretty bad, looks like she’s been stabbed.”

Marjan is here? T.K. is so confused, desperately trying to stay focused, to not let the darkness drag him under again. And if Marjan is bleeding he should help.

“Whoa, whoa, you stay right here.” Gabriel puts a hand against his chest and T.K. realizes that he tried to get up, although he didn’t make it very far since none of his extremities seem to be working well right now.

Gabriel has gotten Carlos sitting up and is propping him next to T.K., his eyes glassy and vacant, but open, awake, alive. Gabriel holds him up with one hand while he holds his cellphone with the other, talking rapidly to someone about multiple ambulances and backup.

T.K. can hear Marjan now, she sounds furious, and he can see Sadie, sprawled on the floor like the rest of them, but his brain still can’t piece together what’s happened, how they’ve all ended up like this. Things are fuzzy, muddled, like he should be able to understand what’s going on, but he can’t quite…

“What happened?” He finally manages to get the question past his lips, eyes sluggishly searching Gabriel’s for some kind of answer.

Gabriel is still focused on Carlos who is having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. “It was Sadie,” Gabriel says, his voice tight. “She burned down the gallery, blew up Gordon’s car, she did all of it.”

Sadie. Sadie did this? Sadie who’s been in their home for the last three hours? Sadie has been the one causing trouble. Sadie…

His dad crouches in front of him, concern all over his face. “Hey buddy, how you doing?”

“Dad,” T.K. looks at him, dread starting at the base of his spine and creeping rapidly up to his neck. “Did Sadie…did she…?”

“She drugged you. Both of you. It was in the soup. T.K. I’m so sorry,” his dad says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“The drugs, was it—?“

“Oxy,” Owen tells him gently.

Oh. Yeah. That makes sense.

There’s a yell, Sadie’s voice and then Marjan lets out a few choice expletives. “I’ll be right back,” Owen promises and T.K. nods. There’s nothing he can do anyway. There’s nothing anyone can do. They just have to wait until the high wears off.

“Carlos do not go to sleep,” Gabriel says sharply and T.K. looks over to see his boyfriend’s head lolling to the side, eyes drooping as Gabriel forces him to stay upright.

“Sorry,” Carlos mumbles, eyelids fluttering. “Tired.”

“I know, but you have to stay awake, all right?” Gabriel looks up at someone else. “Can you get them some water?”

T.K.’s eyes follow Gabriel’s and he finds Catherine stepping out of the room to do as the major has asked. T.K. has no idea when she got here. He has no idea about a lot of things right now.

He’s not interested in the water she hands him, but Gabriel urges both of them to drink. T.K. manages one sip and then just holds it in his hands, feeling the coolness of it through the glass. Carlos does a little better, getting down a third of the glass under his father’s watchful gaze. He’s sitting up under his own power now, but he’s still listless and looks like he could topple over at any second. T.K. hates it.

He wishes he could do something, wishes he could reach out and hold Carlos’ hand or rub his back or kiss his temple, anything to bring him comfort, but he can feel himself slowly sobering up and with every passing second reality sits heavier and heavier on his shoulders.

Everything he’s worked for. Every meeting, every chip, every night he’s chosen to go home instead of going out to score…it’s all gone. Erased. Like it never even happened. He’s back to square one. Zero days of sobriety.

This is a part of him he has never wanted Carlos to see. Carlos who always believes the best of him, Carlos who has no idea how truly deep and dark T.K.’s past is. Carlos who has only ever been T.K.’s fresh start, who is now dragged down into the muck and mire right along with him.

“I think…I think I’m going to be sick.”

He looks up to find Carlos a shade paler than he already was, eyes glassy, a greenish tinge to his skin.

Someone runs to the kitchen and returns with a large bowl they usually use for salads and popcorn, but will probably never use again, the memories of tonight now marking its surface in place of the geometric pattern on its sides.

Carlos retches, his stomach emptying, and T.K. sits frozen, letting everyone else help. He should be the one rubbing Carlos’ back, he should be the one telling him it will be okay. But he can’t. He can’t do anything other than sit in a growing sense of shame and guilt.

Paramedics arrive, thankfully no one T.K. is familiar with. They ask questions and T.K. and Carlos answer in monotone. Naloxone isn’t necessary since they’re both awake and alert, and when saline is offered T.K. refuses, he doesn’t want anything else being put in his body tonight. He does manage to come out of his miserable haze long enough to insist Carlos accepts. If nothing else at least Carlos will be hydrated as he comes down; hopefully it will help to lessen the inevitable headache and malaise he’s going to feel.

They’re transported to the hospital, doctors prodding and poking, asking questions, a familiar rhythm that makes T.K. sick to his stomach. The doctors and nurses know what happened, they're being sympathetic, but it’s too much. The dance is too familiar and it makes him want to crawl out of his own skin.

He lies on a gurney, staring at the hospital ceiling as his emotions war inside of him. He wants the high to wear off, he wants it gone now. But there’s a part of him that is desperately holding onto it, that wants the numbness and the disassociation, and the bliss of being free from the nightmare he’s living. This part of him, the starving beast that he’s beaten back into submission again and again, rears it’s ugly head and screams that it’s not worth it. That he’s not worth it. That he did everything right, got himself clean and it still doesn’t matter, because here he is again, right back where he started.

He’s an addict.

No matter how much work he does, it’s all he’ll ever be.

In the midst of being treated some detectives arrive to talk to them, their dads, Marjan. His own version of the story is short. Sadie was there when he got back from getting groceries. He felt hot, kind of off, and the next thing he knew he was staring at Carlos on the floor. No one asks him why he, an addict, didn’t recognize what he was feeling. But they should. They should tell him he’s an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. That if he’d realized what was going on, both of them might have been spared at least some part of this nightmare.

Carlos’ version of the story is far more painful. “I saw her on the footage,” he says, his words still slow and labored, as if he’s having trouble getting them out, but he pushes on determinedly. “We talked, I asked her why she did it, and she said it was for Owen. Then I realized T.K. had been gone for too long. But when I got up,” he swallows hard, “I couldn’t keep my balance. I saw T.K. on the floor…”

Carlos turns and looks at him with tears in his eyes. “I should have realized. I should have known it was her. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” T.K. says. The words don’t sound soothing, even though he means them to be. He simply can’t muster up the energy to be Carlos’ emotional support right now. Yet another thing to feel guilty about.

They get home around three o’clock in the morning and collapse into bed. Carlos falls asleep with his head pillowed on T.K.’s chest, one of T.K.’s arms wrapped around him, a sign of how vulnerable he feels since usually T.K. is the one curled up into Carlos.

T.K. doesn’t sleep. He lies there wallowing, his mind turning over and over, fighting with the rage and grief and failure that threaten to eat him alive and take his relationship along with it.

Carlos shudders and T.K. rubs his arm until he settles. He’s struggling. Maybe not as much as T.K., but he was still assaulted against his will in their home for the second time in less than a year. T.K. knows he feels violated and guilty, even if the guilt is unfounded. The only person who should feel any guilt is Sadie. And maybe his father for dragging death onto their doorstep yet again.

T.K. watches the clock tick past four, past five. When it says six am he slips from Carlos’ hold and takes the longest, hottest shower of his life before wandering into the kitchen and brewing some extra strength coffee.

He doesn’t feel great, but it’s nothing he hasn’t felt before. The mild nausea, the pounding headache, the heaviness in his limbs, it’s all to be expected. So are the guilt and shame and perseverating thoughts whirling through his mind. The beast inside him is awake, hungering for another taste, even though he’s barely come down off the last one. But he’s used to that too. He’s telling it to shut up and it’s working for now.

If only he could be sure it will last this time.

“T.K.?”

The groggy, pained call moves him toward the bedroom. “I’m here,” he says as he walks quickly through the doorway so Carlos can see him. His boyfriend has been through enough, he doesn’t need to wake up panicking that T.K. has disappeared on a bender. “How are you feeling?”

“My head is pounding,” Carlos winces and squints against the light coming through the curtains as he pushes himself slowly into a seated position. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” T.K. says. “Do you want some coffee? Or I can make tea?”

“You don’t need to take care of me,” Carlos tells him.

“I don’t mind,” T.K. says. It gives him something to do, something to focus on for a moment. “Tea?”

Carlos nods an affirmative and T.K. puts it together in short order along with some toast, and some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

“Thanks,” Carlos says as T.K. sets it all on the nightstand.

“You’re welcome.”

T.K. moves to the wardrobe and pulls out his uniform. “What are you doing?” Carlos asks.

T.K. hangs it on the wardrobe’s doorknob and moves to the dresser for clean underwear and socks. “Going to work.”

“You’re not staying home? I figured, after last night…”

T.K. takes a breath, tries not to let all the feelings battling inside him rear up and burst out of his mouth. Carlos doesn’t deserve that. “I need to go to work today,” is all he can say.

“Okay.”

The word sounds confused, maybe a little hurt. And it hurts T.K. to know he’s the cause of any of Carlos’ pain right now. But he has to go to work. If he stays here…if he stays here he’s going to fall apart.

He pastes on what he hopes is a passably pleasant look. “I’ll be home by five. And I’ll keep my phone on if you need me.”

“T.K., maybe we should—“

“I can’t, Carlos.” The words are razor sharp and he feels brittle as he says them. “I…we’ll talk. We will. Later. I promise.”

He grabs his work bag and pauses long enough to press a kiss to Carlos’ forehead. “Rest today. I’ll be home in a few hours. I promise.” He looks into Carlos’ eyes, reminding himself that he’s no good to Carlos if he doesn’t take care of himself first, even if it hurts to do it. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The moment he steps out the door he can feel his mind starting to clear. He’s going to have to deal with all of this eventually. But right now, there’s work to be done.

#Tarlos #911 Lone Star #911lsfic #Tarlos Fic #T.K. Strand #Carlos Reyes #3x12 Negative Space Coda #T.K. Strand Whump #Carlos Reyes Whump

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littjara-compleated-sage · 8 months

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Hey could I ask you to talk about Ixhel for a moment? I’m doing research for the next chapter of Steel and Oil by going back over the original story and looking at other people’s interpretations of her and figures you would be a good place to start, as tumblr’s resident Phyrexiaposter.

Oh absolutely! I'm honored :3

To see firsthand how I write her, I have two Ixhel fanfics at the moment:

Deeper Than Faith, Higher Than Hope is about Ixhel's compleation day, her glimpse of a less-than-perfect Phyrexia, and the shame that follows. It shows a lot of the self-gaslighting and subtle reinforcements of hierarchy that Orthodoxy life runs on, as well as Ixhel's need for her family to be proud of her. Deep down, she never stopped being a newt who yearned to see her mother smile.

These Ichorous Bonds is from Vishgraz's perspective, but sheds some light on Ixhel's sources of joy and how she loves. There's also discussion from Vishgraz's much more black-aligned viewpoint about what he thinks would help Ixhel (prioritizing herself, primarily).

I care deeply about Ixhel as a character and I'm really invested in portraying her in a way that does her justice (Aysha U. Farah knocked it out of the park, god damn). Some key points:

She is a child made to grow up too fast. Physically she is a compleated adult Phyrexian, but her narration consistently points to naivety. For example, she doesn't fully understand how humanoids work (calling Belaxis's tears "clear oil") and finds it genuinely difficult to conceptualize meaning outside of Phyrexia. The Orthodoxy tightly curates the information allotted to its members and it shows. Human-equivalent-age wise, I've put her at about freshly 18, but that doesn't correspond one to one.

She will never express this naivety or uncertainty openly if she can help it. She's been taught to cover up her uncertainty with Orthodoxy platitudes and the praise she receives for being a good little cog in Phyrexia's machine.

When we first meet her, she is desperate for praise and affirmation, which Norn and Atraxa drip-feed her in order to keep her on the hook. She commits incredible violence in their names in order to earn that praise and feel useful, which she, as a white Phyrexian, has been taught is the most important thing in life.

Her mother Atraxa now reinforces Ixhel's position as a tool, giving her orders and demanding to be called "Commander". She is deprived of parental love, but consistently craves it, while feeling like direct loving expression would be sinful and shameful.

She has a lot of internalized shame, but hasn't fully repressed her emotions. She will feel hurt or yearning or joy in a "forbidden" circumstance and then immediately chastise herself for it, possibly followed by some expression of pro-Phyrexia violence in order to convince herself she's still being a good obedient Phyrexian.

The feelings of freedom Ixhel gets when she is alone, being creative, are thrilling and shameful to her. She knows they are forbidden. She tried to justify Vishgraz's creation as a way to impress her mother, but I think deep down, it was for herself. She wanted to feel that accomplishment.

She feels a lot, but needless to say she has been starved of healthy expression mechanisms. The only form of expression "allowed" for her as her mother's tool is directed violence. (Even in trying to save and keep Belaxis, whom she knows she likes, she only thinks of killing him first.) After Vishgraz, she starts to realize that creativity is another outlet.

The most important aspect of Ixhel's character development and eventual rebellion, imo, is her growing black mana alignment and focus on herself. She needs to learn that she does not exist solely for others, despite what she's been taught; sometimes being a little selfish is a good thing. This is what Vishgraz wants to teach Ixhel in These Ichorous Bonds.

I hope this is a good overview! If you have any more questions, do reply or DM me. I love talking about my girl Ixhel <3

#ixhel #mtg #magic the gathering #phyrexian #phyrexia all will be one #atraxa #elesh norn #new phyrexia #askbox #chefwhatnot

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checkoutmybookshelf · 9 months

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Oh You NEVER Introduce Yourself to Fae...

Miss Euphemia Reeves begins her fairy tale by making a cardinal mistake: she offers her full name to Juniper Jubilee, the Lord Blackthorn. And then Lord Blackthorn promptly appoints himself Effie's fairy godfather and is so damn enthusiastic and desperate to help that he becomes the single biggest obstacle to Effie fulfilling her fairy bargain. Let's talk Ten Thousand Stitches.

There are two major things I love about this book. First, I love that it does not frame anger as an inherently negative thing that needs to be gotten rid of or overcome; in point of fact, anger is what saves the day in this fairy tale. That actually gives Effie a real Sam Vimes vibe, truth be told, but we'll come back to that. Second, I actually loved how much of the book I spent yelling "HE LOVES YOU, OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE IT" at Effie. Our girl is here for class solidarity and equitable treatment of servants, but wow can she not see true love when it's standing in front of her with puppy dog eyes.

Effie's two main plotlines are full on coming for the family she works for because they are abusing and exploiting their servants, and trying to get Benedict to fall in love with her. One of these goes significantly better than the other, because Effie turns out to be a magician whose magic works through embroidery. And this is where I want to really dig into how anger is handled in this novel.

As someone who was femme socialized in the 90s and early 00s, I definitely got the "anger and noise are not feminine, don't do that" and "anger is an inherently bad emotion." (To clarify: I did not get this from my parents, they were great. I got this from the REST of society.) Now as a grown-ass adult woman with some serious social justice and disability justice axes to grind, I have exactly zero time for moralizing about emotions. They exist, its on us to deal. And Effie's anger is characterized in terms like "bright" and "sharp" and "shining," which is a really lovely change from the deep black cesspool characterization that we usually see.

Atwater understands that anger can be motivating, can be the part of you that KNOWS you have more value than you are being treated with, and that cares deeply for you and the people around you. And Effie can imbue her embroidery with anger that motivates people to keep going, to change things for the better. This is anger that inspires. It's a complex, nuanced, adult living in a capitalist hellscape exploration of anger and its place. And y'all...I am here for it. I love how this is handled in the book.

If I'm being honest, the romance was my least favorite part of this book, because Effie inspiring the servants to basically informally unionize and fight for better lives for all of them is just so, so good, and feels so topical and relevant. And also, Effie just GETS this process, especially once its pointed out to her that she can work her anger magic intentionally. She is nowhere near this good at matters of the heart.

Overall, this was a very fun read, and honestly as a regency fairy tale, I think it hits strong.

#olivia atwater #ten thousand stitches #regency faerie tale #regency fantasy #regency romance #regency novel #fairy tale retelling #fairy tale #adult fantasy novel #books & libraries #books and reading #books and novels #book recommendations #books

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forbidden-forest-witch · 1 year

Text

Destiné à Être: A Remus Lupin Story

Chapter 16: Amis et Famille

(Warnings:Smoking, drinking, language, sexual themes. 18+ only)

Word count: 5.3K

...

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice" -Baruch Spinoza

Sitting between Sirius and Remus, Brigitte patiently listens to the crowd during the Order meeting. Some suspicious persons and activities spotted around the city, gossip heard at work, but nothing that's getting them closer to finding Voldemort. The disappointment is etched on everyone's faces.

"The Dark Lord is still angry with Lucius Malfoy for getting Podmore caught. He's keeping to himself more than usual", Snape shares. "As for the school, Umbridge has set up more restrictions. No use of magic outside of classes or large groups. She is clearly concerned about hysteria of the rumors regarding Lord Voldemort".

"Have the children been caught in the, erm, Dumbledore's Army?", Kingsley asks.

"Not yet, but if they continue being so careless...".

"She wants them defenseless... disadvantaged when they face a real threat", Sirius laments.

"It seems so, and it's all Fudge's requests. He doesn't want an uprising, but he's risking everyone's safety", Kingsley confirms. He further explains how Fudge is a ball of paranoia, desperate to taint Dumbledore's reputation and conceal any concern that Lord Voldemort is coming back. "And yesterday, Gus and I checked the location where Britt was hurt — Avery's property. I think they've been back since it happened", Tonks informs the group.

"Wait, what?", Brigitte screeches. "Why would you do that? Without me? I'm not completely incapable! It was a one time accident that could have happened to anyone!", she rants, the candles illuminating the room engorge as she gets worked up.

Remus slyly reaches for her hand under the table, giving her a calming squeeze.

"No. Sorry Sis. Dora said there was blood everywhere when you all left the accident. Last night the floor was sparkling clean", Gus cuts in harshly, the protective big brother in him coming out defensively. "You're not going back there".

"Gus!", Tonks smacks his arm.

"Enough, Moreaus", Kingsley pleads. The poor man looks like he's worn out all patience.

"I hate you, Gus. I’m not a little girl anymore. We all agreed to the risks, and you aren’t in charge of what I do... y’ wouldn't even know about all this without me", Brigitte hisses under her breath, not taking her death stare off her brother. She lifts her wand with her free hand, but Remus pulls her arm down before she does any damage.

"Oí, mate", Sirius sighs.

Remus literally bites down his tongue to hold back his input. The last thing he wants is for Brigitte to do any of these missions that put her in danger, but vocalizing that concern now is the last thing he's going to do. It’s not his place; and Brigitte is right, they did agree to the risks and that crushes him.

"Silence", Moody growls. "He's right. You won't be going back there. No one is. Now we know they still go to that lodge, or at least have spells alerting them when we do".

"Okay, well. I can still go to other places dammit", Brigitte argues quietly, the flames around the room growing whiter.

Snape rolls his eyes and loudly sighs, fidgeting with his black robes.

"If you have a problem you can leave, Snivellus!", Sirius exclaims, pointing to the exit. Cigarette smoke seeps out of his nostrils like a hot dragon.

"You're my problem, Black, and these insignificant tantrums".

"Enough! Jones, Vance, you two check up on informants eyes in the country ... ", Kingsley redirects the meeting.

Brigitte leans back in her chair with a clenched jaw as the Order meeting concludes with Kingsley passing out more addresses; with everyone besides her, Molly, Sirius and an old man named Broderick Bode getting new assignments.

Brigitte keeps her stare on the table, singeing the edges with her fingertips as the crowd leaves.

"We still hanging tomorrow?", Tonks asks on her way out with Gus. Brigitte nods her head, still pouting. "Great! I'll see you then. Try to cheer up, Love. I'll work on Mad-Eye".

"Darling", Remus whispers once he and Brigitte are in the kitchen alone, "I know it's frustrating, but it's nothing to do with anyone doubting you. We want to keep you safe".

"Well stop caring so much!", she huffs like an intolerable child. Remus chuckles, rubbing her plump cheek with his calloused thumb.

"Not gonna happen, and in a few days you’ll be back out there. What would you like to do the rest of the night?".

"Go to bed, let tomorrow arrive sooner. Will you join me?".

"Darling, if I every say 'no' to that question, take me to St Mungos immediately".

─── . ˚*☆ ☾ ☆*˚ . ───

In the soft light of the early morning, Remus sits on the tattered sofa with a hot coffee. He is already dressed in his old tweed robes as he reads over his mission assignments for the next week: locating suspicious werewolves on the days he doesn't have to stay up all night at the Ministry.

Hearing the shuffling of feet on the hardwood, Remus peeks over the newspaper to see Brigitte dragging herself into the room

"Good morning, sweetheart... is that my jumper?".

Standing in front of him, she sways her hips and fiddles with the sleeves, "It was right there on the chair and it looked so comfy. When I picked it up it smelled like you ...", she mumbles as she curls up next to him.

"No need to explain. You are more than welcome to any of my clothes", he clarifies and kisses the top of her head. She hugs his arm, trying to take a look at the report in his hands. Remus hands her a small stack of floo mail that was delivered earlier.

It's Brigitte’s usual bundle: a progress report from the French Non-Profit to keep her in the loop, and one from St. Mungos. Healer Le Fay has the dreaded news of another werewolf attack, suggesting that Brigitte visit on Monday when St Mungos is usually less busy.

The third envelope is decorated in beautiful calligraphy and a lipstick kiss mark. Brigitte immediately recognizes the lip color, it's the only one her mother has ever worn.

"My dear Brigitte, I hope you are safe, sweetheart. I worry about you constantly. You and Auguste are looking out for each other, no? Keep your temper in check and always follow your intuition, it's hasn't lead you astray yet! My little girl, I cannot wait to see you soon, perhaps I will get to meet this 'Remus' who's been taking up all your time that you can't even write your sweet mother?! Your brother mentioned him in his last letter. All my love, xxxx — Maman"

"I'm gonna kill Gus... maybe tonight when they come over", Brigitte smirks. She gracefully straddles his lap. Remus smiles up at her, nervously gulping and making his Adam's apple to bob.

"Don't worry about Gus. He likes you and he knows I'll torch him if he says anything about us".

Remus sighs. "Just because you like someone doesn't mean you want them with your little sister. He’s very protective of you".

"You're overthinking this", Brigitte insists, massaging the top of Remus' head. She eases his mind, leaving a trail of kisses along his exposed neck.

"I must go out for a while and get some things done before the weekend. I'll be back before dinner". Brigitte pouts as Remus slides the parchments into his breast pocket.

"Need help?", she asks optimistically as she stands from his lap.

"Sorry, Darling ... have a good afternoon. Make sure Sirius behaves", he says kissing her cheek.

"You have a safe afternoon, Lunaire".

After Remus leaves, Brigitte returns to her room. She sits on the bed with her paperwork on werewolf legislation to busy herself. She continues with the portion detailing the reasons for separating children from parents with lycanthropy; and she creates a counter-argument for every point on the list.

It takes hours to sort out personal testimonies that werewolves and their loved ones have transcribed for Brigitte in the past, using them as proof that the disease is not sufficient cause to destroy families. Her own letter goes at the end of that file. She completes that section, but there is still countless hours of work to do before it can be submitted to The Ministry.

"Since when are you the one lying in bed all day?", Sirius asks, standing in the doorway and eating an apple.

"I'm working, Black", she says with her eyes concentrated on writing.

"But I'm bored. Let's listen to music. Whoever y' want. It's too quiet in here".

"You're a horrible distraction".

"Moony's been telling me that since we met", Sirius says as he lies down at the foot of the bed.

"I wonder why". Brigitte finally looks at him.

"Oh, stop. Life would be so dull without me ... Goddamn we had so much fun, despite what Moony might say. In fifth year we perfected this enchanted parchment. It showed every part of the school and everyone in it. We'd use it for pranks. We knew where the Professors were. Curfew was a thing of the past! With that and James' cloak, we were invincible".

"Bunch of trouble makers. Where is the invisibility cloak now?", Brigitte asks, falling into Sirius' trap of not doing work.

"Harry has it, of course. The map too. Luckily it was still at Hogwarts and found its way to him, it saved my damn life. If it weren't for him and Moony seeing Wormtail's name on it ...", he trails off ominously.

"Good thing he did... Want to go listen to that music? I can use a break", she offers to distract him from thinking about Peter.

⋆˚☽˚⋆

A fiery orange and red sunset blankets the sky of London. Remus Lupin walks into Grimmauld Place after a taxing day of Apparating to different magical towns, trying to find out where other werewolves are hiding. He's greeted by the screeching of Mrs Black screaming at her son.

"Shut up, you stupid bitch", Sirius sneers as he pries the curtains shut.

"What'd you do now?", Remus chuckles quietly.

"It's all Kreacher's fault". Sirius puts his hair up in a loose ponytail. "Want a drink? I could use another".

"Sure", Remus says following Sirius into the kitchen. "Where's Britt?".

"Don't worry, she's changing into something that will hide those love marks on her neck". Sirius cackles as Remus freezes.

"What can I say?", he asks sheepishly as he accepts the whiskey and they sit on a bench next to the fireplace that's used for cooking.

"You don't need to explain anything, Moony. It's so cute! Like James and Lily when they first got together. Enjoy it— this new love".

"Merlin, Sirius. Shh!", Remus blanches and looks at the door to make sure no one heard.

"Please, Moony. I can read you like a book".

"When have you read a book?", Remus chortles.

"You know what I mean", Sirius eyes him seriously.

"I'm enjoying this, but I'm trying not to have expectations. It doesn't make sense, why she'd want someone like me", Remus says, making Sirius guffaw disapprovingly.

"It's past time you had some happiness in your life, Remus. She's a great girl, and Merlin is she smitten with you ... No way is she spending all day working hard on those werewolf laws just because it's her job", Sirius emphasizes.

"Britt's an angel, but she shouldn't be wasting her time like that. The restrictions against my kind are only going to get worse with the way things are headed, the people that are in charge. It isn't safe to go against the Ministry".

"Calm off it, mate! The girl knows what she's doing, and its not like she's going to barge in there, light the place on fire and demanding rights for werewolves. Although that'd be fucking badass".

"And Britt could if she really wanted to. Ministry officials will never deter her. It's why Dumbledore asked her to join us. She's passionate, and too much for her own good sometimes. Look at her now, eager to get back out after that horrific injury... Whatever she does, she can't go back to the Ministry. Not after her first visit was inquiring about your file...They could arrest her", Remus whispers as he frantically runs his fingers through his hair.

"Don't be so dramatic, Moons. They won't send her to Azkaban over paperwork. Imagine the international conflict that’d start with France. She wants to help you... You can't tell her what to do anyways. All you can do is hold her back when she lunges for Umbridge", Sirius jokes. Remus snickers, he'd love nothing more than to let his hotheaded Lover have her way with that toady witch.

They clink their whiskey glasses, and when they down the drink, the door swings open to reveal their group of friends.

"Evening, boys! We brought Chinese take-out!", Tonks sings as she trips into the room. Auguste and Bill file in behind her carrying two large bags, and Fleur is last holding a bottle of Baijiu, a Chinese vodka. The girls hastily greet Remus and Sirius, before going to find Brigitte.

The men sit around the table, delving into the mundane news they've seen in The Daily Prophet and heard through other Order members.

Remus listens to them anxiously, wondering what Gus is thinking as he keeps glancing at the werewolf. "Do I say something? What do I even say? 'Hi I'm the old man shagging your baby sister'?... Shit, he probably hates me now". His head spins with thoughts.

"Ya gents have a good week? Those night shifts at the Mysteries Department are brutal, I still have to work full days at Gringotts so I don't look suspicious", Bill groans, rubbing his tired eyes.

Auguste leans back in his chair with a cigarette perched on his lips. "That's shit, man. That's one perk to living above my lab. I just micronap throughout the day, it may be slowly killing me but it's the only way I get work done and have time to be with Dora", he jokes.

"How is work? Making a fortune off all that gold y'making yet?", Sirius wiggles his eyebrows.

"Ha, if only it were that easy. Right now I'm studying goblin metal, I got a bunch of scraps a few weeks ago. Even sent some to my brother in France. He's a metalsmith, and I want him to make something for Dora", Gus says, gleaming.

"Wicked. I like you and my little cousin together, mate", Sirius cheers his whiskey again, "ya know, half of us in this room could end up related, right? ... future brothers-in-law?", he says gesturing between a crimson Remus and Auguste. Gus turns his attention to the blushing werewolf.

"I heard. It's about time really, had your eyes and hands all over her for months now", he says mortifying Remus. "It's fine, Lupin. I'm not the big brother to try and intimidate you-- that's our oldest brother's job... So no pressure, but hurt her and the cavalry of brothers will be after you".

"Hurting her is the last thing I'd ever allow myself to do".

"Yeah, be careful, mate. I don't think Fleur would hold back either! She's quite feisty", Bill jokes, a dazed smile on his face while he imagines the silver-haired witch.

⋆˚☽˚⋆

Brigitte digs through her wardrobe trying to find something to conceal the lingering love bites from tonight's dinner guests. She loves these weekly get-togethers of the younger Order members, and she is excited about not having to hide her affections for Remus.

She opts for a turtle neck layered under a tee shirt with a picture of Michael Jackson's Thriller album. Just as she flips over to fluff up her long reddened gold hair, Tonks knocks and opens the door.

"Wotcher! I was expecting that to be heavier...Oops!", she says after the door slams into the wall. She straightens out her hip-length blue hair. Gus' favorite color.

Fleur rolls her eyes at Tonks' clumsiness. "Honestly, Dora. You're going to really hurt yourself... This is why they need etiquette classes at Hogwarts", she mumbles. Brigitte snickers at the Tonks' offended expression and wraps an arm around her,

"Aww no, Dora, don't worry we love you. Every clumsy bit!", she squeals while poking her side. Tonks laughs at the tickle and Fleur nods her head sincerely.

Both girls drape themselves across Brigitte's bed as she finishes dressing. "We wanted to come up here so we could talk without annoying boys!", Tonks jokingly hisses, "we haven't really talked since your date... soooo?!". They roll onto their stomachs and prop up on their elbows. Brigitte cocks her head to look at them and chortles at their inquisitive faces,

"So nosy! Are Remus and I that interesting?".

"Yes!", Tonks exclaims.

"Sissy, we've been watching you two make lovey eyes for months now, him coming to your rescue. Yes, we're excited something's finally happening! You never get close to people like this ... I'm really excited for you", Fleur adds. Brigitte pouts her bottom lip.

"Damn, woman. Bill's turned you into a real romantique, huh? Well... the date was perfect. He took me to an art museum after it closed so we had it all to ourselves. It was amazing, then we got crepes in the park before we came back here and ...", she turns away trying to conceal her flushed cheeks, folding the clothes piled on her bed.

The girls on the bed squeal.

"And then what?!".

"Go on! Details!".

"I can't describe it. I... I haven't been with lots of guys, but when we're together, it's something I've never felt before and I really don't want it to ever stop. He's so... ", she giggles and covers her mouth in embarrassment.

"Is it weird, you two already living together?", Fleur asks.

"No, I love being with him".

Tonks flips over and kicks her legs into the air while Fleur claps her hands joyously.

"Aww Britt! I love how crazy you two are about each other", Tonks beams.

"Thanks Tonks. I care about him a lot... Ya know, I don't say it but I'm really happy you're with Gus too. He used to be hyper focused on his work and studies. Nice to see him happy like this", Brigitte says tenderly.

"Th-th-thank you, Britt. I'm crazy about him, and I don't think you realize how important your opinion is to him, so hearing that...", she gets up and squeezes her arms around Brigitte's neck.

Fleur jumps up from the bed and wraps her arms around both of them. "I am so excited for all of us to spend New Years together in Paris! It's so romantic and you'll get to meet some of our Beauxbatons friends, Dora... is Remus coming too?".

Brigitte bites her lip nervously, "I haven't asked yet. I'd love for him to, but what if he thinks it's too soon? He'd be meeting my family...".

Tonks cups both of her cheeks, "Remus is over the moon for you... sorry bad pun. But he is! I'm sure he'd love to go with you and meet your parents. He knows how much you love them. ".

"You're right, and I won't know unless I ask... humph, I wish Sirius could come with us too. Hard to believe all the love and friendship we've found in this dark house, huh?". Brigitte smiles sadly.

⋆˚☽˚⋆

Once everyone is in the kitchen, they feast on the Chinese dinner. Bowls of rice and lo-mein, garlic vegetables, spicy beef, and dumplings are scattered on the table. With the Chinese vodka, they toast to the good news that Ginny is the new seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

"I’m so happy for her”, Brigitte beams. “And seeker is such a tough position, I could never handle that stress from the crowd”.

“I tried, but I didn’t make the Hufflepuff team. Something about me falling off my broom and bumping into people?”, Tonks questions.

“I find that so hard to believe, considering how graceful you are”, Fleur snickers.

"I can't believe it, my baby sister", Bill grins. "I'm sorry about Harry though, Sirius. At least he and the twins got in a few good punches on the Slytherins before Umbridge banned them".

"She's a friggin' nightmare-- at that school and the Ministry", Tonks scoffs.

"I'd like to send a bludger to that Umbridge bitch!", Sirius says, grimacing at the taste of the liquor.

The evening is perfect. An ideal night for a group of friends, but the siblings can only have peace for so long... Brigitte and Auguste both jab their chopsticks at the last dumpling, and end fighting over it, using their utensils like miniature swords. It lasts until Remus nudges Brigitte's arm and offers her one from his plate.

"Ahh see? I knew I liked you, Remus Lupin!", Auguste cheers as he grabs the last dumpling. Brigitte slyly reaches down and takes her wand from the thigh holster. Just before the dumpling touches Gus' lips, Brigitte silently accios it into her mouth.

"Mine! Foo mumplings are bet-er 'n one!", she says with dumpling-stuffed cheeks. Remus gazes down endearingly at her chubby, victorious smile.

Auguste just stares at her in shock until Tonks takes a dumpling from her plate and shoves it in his mouth. The entire table bursts out laughing, and even Gus cannot deny his sister's impressive aim.

"Moody will be impressed with that precision", Tonks giggles.

"Shit... yeah, not bad", Gus concedes.

"This is great... I can't believe I get to celebrate an actual Christmas this year, with all of you-- and Harry!", Sirius says.

"We'll make it an unforgettable one!", Brigitte promises.

"I only wish it wasn't stuck in this Godric forsaken house".

"Aw, Padfoot. I'll decorate every inch, you'll think you're in a winter forest!". Brigitte makes snowflakes sprinkle above them.

"I hope Mrs Weasley warms up to me by then. I do not think she likes me spending so much time with my Bill", Fleur pipes in. Everyone looks around hesitantly except for Bill, who reassures her that his family 'absolutely adores her as much as I do'.

"She sees how happy you make Bill, and the Holidays are the perfect time to get closer", Brigitte tries to ease her.

"Ha! That's the problem! She sees you've turned her son into a drooling, love-sick git", Sirius says as he finishes off his drink. They finish their meal, talking more about how fun the Holiday break will be. Then, as becoming their new tradition, they venture upstairs to listen to music and dance.

"Ready, set, disco!", Brigitte sings as she slides the vinyl on the spindle. She twists her hips when ‘Boogie Shoes’ by KC & the Sunshine Band starts playing, taking Tonks' hands in hers. Bill and Fleur dance closely together while staring deeply into each other's eyes, their hands roaming around each other's bodies liberally, like they're in a dirty dancing club.

Remus takes refuge on the sofa instead of finding a place on the torn rug with everyone else; and Sirius uses his wand to concoct another cocktail. He shimmies to Brigitte and Tonks who are dancing wildly.

"Room for one more, ladies?", he butts into the pair. They unlock hands and grab Sirius' to form a little circle.

Auguste sits down next to Remus and sticks his hand out. Remus looks at confusedly for a split second before accepting it with a firm shake. "Seriously, Lupin. I haven't seen her smile this much, ever".

They watch their girls dance with Sirius. He has a Cheshire cat-like grin on his face, not a care in the world while whipping his long black hair around. Brigitte is as graceful as ever, even when the three try an uncoordinated hip bump. Tonks though, can't keep a rhythm to save her life and both men on the couch suppress their laughs as she bounces around like a pinball.

"Perhaps I should help her. I can't be any worse, right? DON'T tell her I said that", Auguste whispers desperately as he gets up.

"Lips are sealed, mate. Good luck to your toes", Remus says as he looks at Tonks' thick-soled leather boots. Her face lights up when Auguste taps her shoulder, and he explains a few dance steps before they start moving. "Oh, shoot! I'm sorry babe, half the time I mean to move my right foot I move my left!", Tonks apologizes after she immediately stomps on him. "My damn brain".

"It's fine, my love... You're learning", Auguste groans through clenched teeth, holding back tears.

♫ ♪ ♫ I wanna do it 'til the sun comes! Yeah! Yeah! I wanna do it 'til I cant get enough. . . Yeah! Yeah! I wanna put on my my my my my boogie shoooooes ♫ ♪ ♫

Brigitte and Sirius sing the lyrics at the top of their lungs. Remus leans back on the couch, watching the two most important people in his life. He's suddenly overcome with a feeling of fulfillment; he has more than he could ever have dreamed of. Remus polishes off his drink and strides confidently to the pair.

"Room for one more, ladies?", he says cheekily.

Sirius sticks his tongue at the grinning lycanthrope, "It's my pleasure, actually... partner switch!". He runs to Bill and Fleur. He grabs their hands and starts whipping his hair back and forth, earning a boisterous laugh from Fleur.

"Please, have this dance", Bill says and collapses in the winged-back chair. Sirius holds Fleur's waist and they twirl around the room, her hair trailing behind them like a glowing veil.

Remus takes advantage of having Brigitte to himself, tightly holding her hips and feeling them sway smoothly with the music...

Once the album ends and the room sounds with the static of the spinning needle, the group finds solace surrounding the fireplace. The guys squeeze onto the couch, Fleur drapes across Bill, and Tonks' sits on the floor. Brigitte rummages through her music to find a slower, moodier choice-- Nirvanas' Nevermind. "I cannot believe Cobain has been gone from this Earth for nine months", Brigitte laments. She takes her wand and whispers 'accio beuh', and the rose petal joint flies into her dainty fingers. She situates on the floor against Tonks and they sit back to back to support each other like a chair.

Brigitte ignites the joint with a simple glance and inhales the smoke. She passes it to Tonks and the joint makes its way around the circle, silencing the group as they sit in peace and let the slow rock wash over them.

"Maman gave it to me last time I saw her", Brigitte tells Auguste as smoke seeps out his nose and lips.

"Of course, Maman", he chuckles. "I like your mum", Sirius says strenuously as he holds in the drag. He passes it to Remus, who's at the end of the couch watching Brigitte. She is swaying side to side to the music, like a wildflower in the wind. He takes a hit but quickly coughs it out, gaining a giggle from his admired girl.

"You okay, Lunaire?", she tries to sound sympathetic but fails as the high makes her laugh. "I'm... fine", he says gravely and winks at her reassuringly. “Haven’t done this since Sirius peered pressured me”.

“Hey!”.

Bill gently grips Fleur's cheeks and blows smoke into her mouth. "Wow, Merlin forbid you two don't share every particle of air. You're eventually going to die from inhaling too much carbon dioxide", Brigitte remarks as she grabs the joint. Everyone watches mesmerized as she exhales a bunch of tiny smoke rings.

Remus can't help but get turned on at her delicately parted lips and skilled tongue.

Brigitte and Tonks sprawl out on the floor, giggling as Brigitte makes flower petals rain around them. Watching the two enjoy themselves, Remus pulls out a piece of chocolate and munches on it. Fleur is playing with Bill's hair as he sits under her with heavy eye lids, loving the scalp massage; and Gus and Sirius somehow get on the topic of motorcycles.

They have become a little family. These soirées are now a cherished occurrence for these Order Members. A sense of normalcy, to have a routine where they come together and simply enjoy each other’s company helps keep them sane in the midst of constant anxiety of Voldemort.

They're young people who should be starting their lives, having families, travelling, or building careers. But here they are, huddled up in a safe house and soaking up this moment of happiness... For the fear things may get worse and they might not all be here one day is always lingering in the back of their minds ... As the song 'Something in the Way' begins playing, Remus approaches Brigitte, reaching his hand out.

"Dance with me?", he asks with a tender smile. She automatically takes it so he can help her up.

"Aww, Remus. You don't have to humor me, I know you don't love dancing in front of people", she says quietly as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"I think they're used to my poor dancing skills by now. I can't pass up a slow dance with my girl", he whispers, resting his hands on the small of her back. She nuzzles her cheek into him and they sway slowly to the slow rock in total euphoria.

His warm chest underneath his soft button-down, Brigitte can't get close enough. 'I think I love him', her cheeks flush when the thought pops into her head. She opens her eyes when the song ends and is shocked to see the two other couples vanished.

"I suppose they didn't want to interrupt us. But damn, they are stealth", Remus remarks. They look down at Sirius, asleep on the couch hugging a pillow and snoring with his mouth wide open.

"Leave him", Brigitte giggles. Remus picks her up bridal style and heads to her bedroom. Brigitte kisses Remus' neck as he takes them upstairs. He kicks the door open and carefully places her on the bed. Not breaking eye contact, they rip their clothing off. Brigitte lies back on the bed to shimmy out of her pants, while Remus pulls his belt out of the loops and lets his worn trousers fall to his ankles.

Once they are both bare, Remus crawls up Brigitte from the foot of the bed, tracing his lips and tongue up her body, worshipping every inch of her.

They spend the next hour making passionate love, feeling like they are on cloud nine with their love. They roll around in the sheets, creating fog on the thick window panes with their amorous breaths ... "You make me feel so good, Lunaire", Brigitte sighs blissfully as she curls up with Remus and drags her fingers on his heaving, marked chest. He pulls Brigitte closer and kisses the top of her head.

"I can't describe how you make me feel, Darling. All I know is that I haven't felt it before. I'm so unequivocally happy when I'm with you".

"I told you our first night together: I'm yours, Remus. I have been since I walked into that kitchen and saw you sitting there", she says with conviction.

"Oh, I was a goner when you walked in. So ... does that mean we're officially each others? Y'know, in case someone asks", he tries to sounds casual but feeling like a timid schoolboy.

"I'm yours, and you're mine", Brigitte says kissing the thickest scar displayed on his chest. "My boyfriend... this means you have to come to Paris with me".

"I'd be honored, Darling". Eventually, a warm silence envelopes the room as the

couple drifts off to sleep with childish smiles on their faces. 'I think I love her' is the last thought to cross Remus' mind as he drifts into slumber, holding Brigitte protectively in his arms...

♡ ♡

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