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dead-girl-prolific · 2 months

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Ticci Toby + Personality Disorders and Mood Disorders

this is based off of @necroromantics post, i felt very inspired to share my thoughts on it, although it took me about 3-4 days to get done i had a lot of fun!

this is mainly about BPD and ASPD(one mention because i don't know a lot about ASPD as a whole) as far as personality disorders go, i know the most about those when it comes to personality disorders. out of mood disorders, to stay relevant to the original post it'll just be the two types of Bipolar disorder.

I chose these three disorders as my topic because they are the most common headcanon for his character(and my headcanons).

PSA:

SOME OF THIS INFORMATION COULD BE OUTDATED, i haven't researched Bipolar in 2-3 years so if anything is wrong i'd like to address the fact that i am NOT a professional! also some/most of this is personal experiences and researches i've done!

now that that's out of the way. let's start rambling!

What is bipolar disorder?

From someone whos lived with both parents struggling with BD (Bipolar Disorder) (my mom shows heavy signs of it, but is not diagnosed, my dad is) it is very much possible i could have it too, but both BPD and BD have a lot in common but are still very different (symptoms). They both have severe mood swings, They share some symptoms, such as depression and impulsive behavior. The main thing that separates them is that BPD is a Personality disorder and Bipolar is a Behavioral Mood Disorder. BD is characterized by periods of extreme highs and lows, known as manic and depressive episodes. BPD affects how individuals perceive and interact with the world around them.

They are very hard to differentiate in a patient and people usually get misdiagnosed, the symptoms are VERY similar which is why it isn’t common to diagnose minors. (it’s not impossible to be diagnosed with both as a minor.) (this is what my doctors have shared with me)

a little tangent- my dad was diagnosed with BD at a very young age (i’d say 12 or/to 16) and it was only diagnosed because he had several…”episodes” (he broke several laws and maybe/probably committed a few felonies.) i don’t know much about my dad’s past, but from what my grandpa and him have told me he’s been bailed out of jail/juvie a lot. He was not medicated because he didn’t like what the medications did to him, so that’s probably why he was so “EXTREME”.

His episodes lasted for a while sometimes 3-4 months or less, but my episodes (i have BPD) can last a few months as well(but around 2-3 months), because of clinical depression(major depressive episodes) which is a huge symptom of BPD, the longest episode i’ve had was maybe two and a half months and it happens a lot about once-twice a year, with no rhyme or reason. i'm looking into getting diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder because i have a lot of symptoms that concern me, but it's possible i was misdiagnosed with BPD(i doubt it because of the symptoms i experience) it is very much possible i could have both, which is why i need to figure it out, it's dangerous for me to not be medicated properly.

Does Toby canonically have bipolar?

If you don’t know enough about something (BD) you shouldn’t create a character with said things (BD) or at least do research before. In my opinion Toby has a personality disorder, although I cannot quite pinpoint which. If i could psycho-analyze (it’s been a while since i’ve taken a full blown look at the entirety of the character.) he most likely struggles with Bipolar but it was misdiagnosed with BPD he also shows some symptoms and traits of someone with ASPD. TECHNICALLY he has canonical BPD through his behavior, but the creator of his character "misdiagnosed" him and gave him Bipolar disorder, but it's totally okay to headcanon him with something else (or something more "fitting") or just projecting, all of it is fine to some extent.

Do you headcanon Toby to have bipolar?(or a personality disorder)

Yes, to put it simply he has potential to be a multi-faceted character, and I know a lot of people like to project onto creepypasta characters in general, as a coping skill. Toby is also “canonically” “Bipolar” i use both of those terms loosely. As someone with (possible) Bipolar and has lived around those with Bipolar I’d be open to writing his character with Bipolar, as an informed writer I would prefer people to at least do research on the subject before making assumptions on how the character would behave/think. Overall if the character’s experience is written well I wouldn't mind reading it. I do not condone misinformation, but i do condone learning about it for a passion project such as writing. As someone who hasn’t struggled with ASPD i don’t necessarily feel comfortable writing it but if i did a decent amount of research for the character and the disorder it could change my mind as long as i get outsider viewpoints.

How to properly write Toby with bipolar?

do not romanticize it not getting treated, as someone who struggles with a disorder not getting treated, it is definitely damaging to my mental and physical health. so writing for a character who isn't being treated for something is something i'm a bit iffy on- but if you do research and don't go overboard, it could end up being really good for awareness.

(i headcanon that he was originally on medication but he didn't take into account the fact that he needs his medications, so he basically fucked himself over and regrets it (subconsciously) after a manic episode of course)

there is an author(s) who does a really good job writing his character with Bipolar/BPD if you are interested in reading their work dm me!/inbox me!

maybe write about how his work relationships would be impacted, and how his friendships would be, his romantic relationships all of it, don't just focus on "ooo i'm mentally ill" it would not only affect him but it would also impact those around him by whether or not they know about his Bipolar disorder and if they know hes having an episode.

it would probably, a few times, get him caught by the law given the fact that people with bipolar are very indecisive and it would mostly be chalked up to him being like "this is wrong, i don't want to do this anymore" to "ARSON!!!" (bad analogy but you get it) his emotions and feelings on the matter of is job would fluctuate all the time, even while he's on the job. it leads him to be erratic and spontaneous. he isn't a very reliable partner, which is why he probably only goes on single missions.

i feel like if he were to be medicated it would be at the expense of Tim's medications since toby can't get his hands on other medications that are used for mood swings and such.

What do manic episodes look like? How would they effect Toby?

"Manic episodes are very intense highs in mood and energy. Despite what people say, real manic episodes are only experienced in people with bipolar disorder" @necroromantics

this is true, as someone with BPD, my "manic" episodes depend on someone that is my FP (favorite person) and when i am not having a "high" of energy i'm usually numb and my "manic" episodes are usually only an hour long or the amount of time that i am with my FP. BPD cannot get Manic.

although there are two branches of Bipolar, Bipolar 1 which is characterized as many manic episodes and less depressive episodes but Bipolar 2 is characterized as many major depressive episodes, that usually last a lot longer than the manic episodes. (this is worded as simply)

"A very real danger of manic episodes is that some people experience co-occurring psychosis alongside their episodes, such as delusions and hallucinations." @necroromantics

another thing Toby struggles with is hallucinations of his deceased sister Lyra.

"These highs can also lead to dangerous acts due to the recklessness and lack of proper judgement on whats safe/smart in that moment. There is also hypomania, which is a lesser, more mild form of mania." @necroromantics

you are mixing up both Bipolars... they are separated (from the studies i've done/researched)

Manic Episodes-

it would all depend on how exactly he feels/ the situation and how the writer decides to portray that. (if the writer is properly informed of course)

What do depressive episodes look like? How would they effect Toby?

"They typically last longer than manic episodes, usually about 1+ months." @necroromantics

this depends on whether or not it's Bipolar 1 or Bipolar 2, this is the "definition" of a Bipolar 2 Depressive episode. bipolar 2 episodes can occur for longer than a month, that is correct. bipolar 1 has longer manic "highs" than bipolar 2, bipolar 2 barely gets manic "highs" and when they do it's not for very long. (from what my doctors have told me/what i've seen in my dad (he has bipolar 1))

as someone who has seen these symptoms and had them i can assure you they are not fun, especially dealing with them WITHOUT proper medications, although currently i am very "manic" and getting a lot of shit done, kinda like i'm on adderall rn lol.(that's the closest comparison i can make to how I AM feeling.)

"He would probably disappear for a bit, to be left alone, because he doesn't want to be around anybody. He would spend his time sleeping as much as he can, and then the rest of his time doing proxy work, and then going back to sleep." @necroromantics

i wouldn't say sleeping is all he's doing, when i have depressive episodes (which episodes are different for everyone) i tend to go off my diet, make a lot of other regrettable decisions(EX: relapse, forget important stuff, become more "lazy" etc.) that prolong my episode. but sleep can also be affected such as; getting too much sleep or struggling with sleeping (i.e waking up every hour to every few hours).

What are mixed episodes?

"This can look like feeling super energetic, but also horribly hopeless and depressed, or being on top of the world one minute, and then wanting to off yourself the next. They are very intense, and dangerous. It feels like you're losing your mind, and you can't catch yourself." @necroromantics

i am going to add to this. not only will you be super energetic but you'll want to do so much but have no energy to do it, like lets say you had a great art idea, oc idea, and writing idea, but you would be too unmotivated to do any of it. sometimes you can't pinpoint what to feel/what you're feeling, and that's totally okay! confusing, annoying but still its completely okay.

I'm free to answer with my personal experience, and headcanons and prior knowledge of mental health about any creepypasta characters! DM me or inbox me!

#creepypasta #ticci toby #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby headcanons #toby rogers #creepypasta ticci toby #bipolar disorder

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1tarot1with1k1o · 7 months

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hi! here for ur game :) i choose kim namjoon

i feel you’d get along with with momo from twice, sunny from girls generation, and seulgi from red velvet

Helloo~ and welcome to the game!

Ooh, interesting choices! I’ve never thought about being friends with those idols, but I’d definitely be curious to see how it would go. They’re all nice and very charming people, so thank you for choosing them for me! Mark is SUCH a sweet guy, and he has the softest hands haha, so I’m happy to remind you of him. I’ve never been that called to get to know Wendy in depth, but she seems chill, so I appreciate it! Taemin…what an honor lol!! He’s THE kpop idol™️, so it’s such a compliment for me to remind you of him!

I think that namjoon would find you…interesting? You might be someone who is very different from the people he is used to meeting or hanging around with, and I feel like his smart self will really want to get to know you in order to sort of “study” you? Not in a weird way, but he simply would like to know more because he finds you very “layered”. He would love to listen to you talk about your hobbies and views. He would like to know how you form your thoughts, and the kind of experiences you faced during your life. The things you say might even inspire him to write songs, or to look at certain things in a different way. You two would be like those people who look extremely different but that actually get along well, and that deep inside are more similar than one may think. I see that your friendship would stay superficial (as in, I don’t see you becoming very close friends. Just people who occasionally meet in the same place, and have a talk), but you’ll definitely have a positive effect on each other even just by being acquainted! You could learn many things from each other <3

Jungkook would also find you an interesting person to hang out with. I saw him smiling at you while you’re talking with a group of people. He may find your mannerism and your mind peculiar. Not necessarily because you act strangely, but like for Joon, you may have a personality that he’s not used to. I heard language barrier, so he may be too shy to actually talk to you. Probably because you would have to communicate in English, and as good as he is, he will feel too intimidated to actually talk a lot in a foreign language. He may even be worried about accidentally saying something wrong during the conversation. Ironically, I saw him talking more if Namjoon is around, since he would be less scared about making mistakes. Joon may not even have to ever correct him or to interfere in the conversation, but it still would make Jungkook feel more comfortable to have him nearby in case he needs some extra support. You would laugh and enjoy your time together! He would find it fun to be around you. You might end up having friends in common, although I don’t see you two actually interacting more than just a few times. You’d mostly be the kind of person you greet and then move away from, in order to meet your friends. I don’t wanna say a professional relationship but that’s the kind of vibe I get tbh. In a positive way of course! It’s not like he would have to force himself to talk to you. Not at all! You two may just have different walks of life that wouldn’t give you much to talk about with one another.

Overall, you would have positive interactions with both of them, but they would likely not lead to developing a close friendship with neither. You might interact more with Namjoon than with Jungkook. Mostly because the conversation would flow more easily between you two. Not just for the language, but even for the fact that your personalities or personal views may be a better match.

Thank you for participating! I hope you enjoyed the readings ^~^

#klo #tarotcoconut #tarot community #free readings #spirituality #intuitive game #closed game #kpop readings

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crow-caller · 1 year

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@neovenatorgirlteeth

Top fav/east fav pokemon designs in scarlet/violet.

Over more than an hour later this is more ‘crow comments on almost every new pokemon, oops’. I am passionate about cool designs... I didn’t mean to come for bogleech’s throne!

Under spoiler tag because I was lucky to play without having been spoiled on ANY of them and I want to keep that experience, total spoilers ahead.....

I was so annoyed the cute grass kitty immediatly became bipedal, but I really do dig the whole line, even the last one. The base is SO cute I LOVE kitty and being a sort of bandit and then a magician is cool. Especially enjoy how the final form is bipedal but not THAT humanoid- it’s a neutral body rather than being uncomfortably curvy or gendered. Also as I look at it: final form kinda is a lot like how I draw my eye deers in terms of “fluffy pastel body, long skinny darker legs”

hate

I’m so sorry they did this to the duck. I’M SO SORRY. the duck was cute and then the middle is ugly and the final.... in battle usually the tail is extended and it’s obviously a ‘festivale’ thing, but it’s so unsettling. I hate how human it is, it’s dancing.... I hate this creature and for it to be a STARTER feels so unfair. who okay’d it.

I always loved dunspace as a kid playing gold silver, even tho it was useless. It was so mystifying looking and... odd. It was the pokemon that really most felt like a cryptic mystery of a being, you know? Like what the hell IS it? I’ve learned since it’s like... Tsuchinoko, maybe. But for it to FINALLY have an evolution that is almost entirely identical is really funny to me. Yep. That sure is just dunsparce. I mean. Dudunsparce. It’d have been cool for him to suddenly be a giant badass snake monster but this is better

Okay two off: TaROUNtula is adorbs and his evolution sucks. a little yarn ball spider with a kinda dopey face is really cute and then he turns into... way too dude shaped and really unappealing. He doesn’t look much like his pre-form and loses all the charm. A spider with a spindle it uses to make traps is great but why this??

Dolliv is super super cute. I love the many grass and bug pokemon that are just ‘cute girls’. I don’t like humanoid pokemon, but a lot of them are more stylised human than bordering on uncanny, and they look cute and fun. Dolliv works with her theme perfectly and is extremely cute. But man I was really REALLY happy to see Arboliva !! She’s funky and stylish in a different way. Sure, we could have another Tsureena line, where the end is basically a plant ginjinka gal, but while still hhumanoid Arboliva is way funkier. She usually is in a wreath shape too to better show off her design. I love her colour pallete too. She feels like something I’d make....

He..............

how can you not love this little face. His weird metal collar and his funky arms that he usually stows. Those eyes tho. He’s so cute and simple.

I wouldn’t normally like anything about this design. Like, it’s fine, but very very simple and nothing screams pokemon about it. But extra shoutout: they are VERY funny. The names are both great (Maushold is one of the few times I sensibly chuckle at a pun name) and the fact they almost always evolve when you’re not looking- and their evolution is having children- is great. I was worried it was a glitch but I hope (and believe) it’s on purpose. You one day look and OH SHIT! THEY HAD CHILDREN. I thought I’d gone insane for a moment and missed it, 10/10 experience I carried this couple in my bag and they gave birth without telling me

I know birds are... hard. because they’re birds. But what is WRONg with the birds this gen? I don’t despise any of them, but they’re the most Bird Birds I’ve ever seen. The flamingo is litterally a flamingo full stop. The stork is mostly a stork, the weird flesh sack it carries creeps me out and without it it’s. Just A Stork?! Wattrel as a seabird is Fine as a first evolution, but it’s evolve really bores me. And Squawkabilly is a nice pun and most pokemon looking, but still very plain. He has four plumages and yet who will care? He also so clearly needs an evolution to lean harder on the theme.

Hehe........ crab. I love giant enemy crab. He’s very charming. Eeriely robotic. The idea of him as an ambush predator is cool, I wish in game he actually WOULD blend in and strike you!

I didn’t like the first evo at all but he’s here for context, because once I evolved him I was enamoured. Just like minecraft......... but really, a blocky, salt construct is cool. I love his colours on the evo while the middle stage looks like a sweet little dude.

his mini pic isn’t the best, so here’s him better. Not normally my type of poke at ALL but she’s just really charming to me. Big blocks. Love the sediment layer ombre.

His little image isn’t very clear. This rock/poison flower.... what is he? A crystal that looks like a flower but isn’t. I really don’t know what is the inspiration beyond just ‘crystal-ish flower’, but he looks both very futuristic and like some prehistoric plant! The strange little eyes and the transparent cone at the front add to the mystery.

I don’t think I LIKE Shroodle but it’s hard to hate those empty eyes. I raised one for ages because I HAD to know what he was. A crocodile of some sort was my bet. Apparently it’s a ‘mouse’ which is then more confusing when it turns into a monkey. I think on reflection he might be designed on a spray paint can... his evo is a grafiti monkey, and he has a long shiny body with a black cap, with a tuft of paintbrush like hair! but he’s def not a monkey.

Grafaiai tho is a very cool design. I hate monkeys and apes but a lemur can stay, it has a cool design and colors and I really enjoy the wide glossy eyes.

this one was just an insant win for most everyone. Bread dog! And then he gets BAKED! he’s really cute and I definitely called he’d be a dash-bun before he evolved

This old ass dog....... it’s not just that he has a very endearing story role but that helps. He’s nothing really too special, but he has such sweet eyes and really captures the feeling of a fking old ass dog....... like this is a dog that was MADE to lay on the living room floor for hours and grumble in his sleep!!

I hate gimmighoul!!!!!! AAA!!! No, seriously, what is up with this guy? Without the chest it looks like... a sentai...? I’ve never been a fan in gen of power rangers or super sentai designs anyways but it’s my best guess for what this bastard is. The base version vaguely also makes me think cockroach, but sadly needs to be 300% more cockroach. The chest version would be fun- pokemon has mimics but not the classic treasure chest!- except... he keeps poking his stupid head out, which doesn’t at all bring to mind a mimic! The chest form is indeed just the bastard in a box, no unique changes.

THEN THE EVOLUTION.... who the hell is this roadside used car lot advertising man and why does he make me look for so many of his stupid children to earn the right to hate him? This design is so confusing for me. What is he? Bad. His pokedex entry tells me he’s 1000 stacked coins but looks more like a bullet.

god he does resemble like a 90s ad campaign to appeal to the youth and get them to stop smoking huh. But really, for the amount of annoying effort and time it takes to get him, he is not worth it at all. Horrendous thing. Stupid thing. AAA. aaa.

Seriously, I never liked gimmeghoul but I definitely imagined a fitting final form would be way bigger on the ‘treasure’ theme. He has a chest form and you collect coins- imagine if he was a riff on a treasure hoard instead! A long serpant busting through a treasure box covered in coins, a mimic who hides as a great hoard barely poking out, a centipede with coins as armor....

Okay, I played violet, so the past pokemon I didn’t get to see. On beating the main story I decided to look finally at the full dex so I could see all the version exclusives. I quite enjoy them, and while I liked violet’s designs old pokemon exclusives/legend more the ancient pokemon are nicer than the robots.. because the robots gimmick is continously the same ‘a pokemon but robot’.

This jigglypuff is very funny to me. She’s kinda just a joke of ‘cute jigglypuff but with little fangs’ but I can’t resist her charms.

Also^ I think pokemon doesn’t know how long ONE BILLION YEARS is.

Admittedly she’s a very plain riff on misdreveous, but I’ve always liked misdreaveous and she looks neat. I like her spikes, not sure why she has one green wing arm. It’s nice the pearl necklace evolved early imao

1. what is a PTEROSAUR in the context of pokemon???

2. how could this EVER look like a PTEROSAUR

Volcarona is such a lovely pretty moth, and this version is super cool. I love how they tweaked with her regular features and made her so similar but so new. It’s just a SUPER cool bug and I really really love her

they need to stop doing this to my boy

what is this

So salamance might be my fav pokemon ever by childhood bias: Ruby was a very dear game and I raised a salamance from a bagon up to level 100! Then I kept the same salamance and transferred him between games, up to Platinum. I love that weird, fat dragon.... he’s a popular pokemon, so has had a lot of extra forms, and they all suck

No, seriously!

Boy. baby boy.

evil.

Salamance is a brightly coloured (but teal and pale red not the godawful tones of his mega) fat dragon. I keep saying fat but someone has to remind Pokemon. He’s a big and solid boy, but mega evo takes away that (and his arms) and makes him this super tacky bizarre monstrocity. Now we have Roaring Moon....

What is this? The idea of a feathery funky salamance is great, I appreciate even it resembles the mega evolution since gimicks are lately just one generation then forgotten. But his body shape and colors are so odd and messy. He looks really thrown together with a few basic good ideas that are completely not working!

TREAT SALAMANCE BETTER

I have really no strong feelings on the robot pokemon, meanwhile. They... look cool enough, ish. They’re robots that look like other pokemon. The designs really don’t do anything crazy interesting though, even tho they make changes it’s nothing radical. I only put Iron Hands here because I want you to know in a lore book you can find, it’s said Iron Hands is maybe a cyborg, not a pokemon, and might have a living person in there somehow. That weirds me out.

I definitely do wish the techno future pokemon did more though! Instead of just being ‘robot very similar to other pokemon’, it feels we’re missing out on ‘more evolved’ versions of pokemon or robot-flesh mixes. My immediate pitch for a more evolved (in IRL biology) pokemon from the future? An extremely fierce magicarp that has finally become strong! Or a bagon that has skipped needing to be salamance and has adapted wings of its own! There’s so much potential to look at odd pokemon and imagine how they might adapt over years of natural evolution. You also could do robo-flesh hybrids as said, where I have no exact ideas but something like... A combee that has adapted to work with nanorobots in a swarm? Hell, put magicarp in a mechasuit and say in the future magicarp has learned to psychically build mecha suits. Why not.

okay, she’s pretty cool tho. I def like to see gardevoir/gallade fusion one, who def makes the most bold changes to the design too (well, I guess iron treads is nothing like donaphan REALLY, but...). Haters gonna hate her nonbinary girl swag. Glad to see in the far future we’ve finally ended gender. Etc etc.

The ruinous legends are super, super cool designs. All of them are some of the TOP creature designs I’ve seen in ages tbh. I haven’t gotten in game to unlocking them or looked if they have lore (I hope there’s a lot of lore, mysterious ruinous beads sealed by ominous swords and giant doors is sick but I want more). Each is based on a cursed object that is so full of a negative emotion it has become tied to a pokemon and sealed away. GREAT STUFF.

Anyways, love this totemic beast and the big ancient cracked blood sacrifice bowl on their head. And yes, it’s totally a blood sacrifice pokemon: it’s linked to fear, as the bowl was said to have been used in ancient rituals and evoked such strong fear it became a horrible creature.

This guy minus the sword would fit in pretty well as a regular pokemon, admittedly. I find her colours really pleasing. The sword adds a bit more of that ‘legendary’ flair but does look a bit awkward impaled like that. But no, I really enjoy him.

OMG OMG OMG! AAA!!!! LOOK!!!!!

I am not a slug person (I am actually terrified of slugs irl) but. I loveeee this design. It’s clever (look at the both eyestalks and the false lead face) and extremely themeatic, with a great colour pallette. This thing screams spooky nature spirit in every way.

Though my least fav I felt I should throw in all four special legends. Plus, nothing about them is bad. I find the eyes rather awkward but they do invoke a bulged eyed goldfish. All four legends are based on cursed objects, so this feels like an okay way to add the beads to the fish... but not my fav. I do enjoy tho his patterns on his body. They’re just very stylish.

The box legends... are okay in their battle forms. I didn’t expect to really like them, but the writing is good and I really loved my robot motorcycle dragon by the end.

they’re far more appealing and charming to me in their ‘low power’ mode, which is what they are for most of the game. It’s nice to go ‘oho! badass battle time!’ but, meh. The more animal funky little guy form who loves sandwiches is better.

She’s a bit funny looking but really nice. She’s a cute little... something. I again am fine with human shaped pokemon when they’re still monsters, not people, not overly sexy people. Her middle stage is really cute to me as a sort of little knight, and then her last stage gives her adorable hair and a giant hammer. Classic design trope, but I love it! She’s cute and small but extremely strong and fun. I enjoy that her pokedex entry tells us she’s a BANDIT, not a blacksmith-knight.

The version exclusive branching knight evolve really feels like it should have been in sword shield, huh? But even tho it’s not normally the type I like... I am not immune to cool cursed knight with violet flames. he’s edgy and cool and fun, and I think perfectly balances between simplicity and very detailed- his design doesn’t look cluttered to me at all despite how complex it is!

hehe toadscool

I was so psyched to see him on my radar and go ‘is that a fckin tentacool with two silly legs’ and it was. These guys really as just fun to watch move. Toescruel hops! I’m not sure there’s much that exciting about them, but that’s okay. They’re simply and funny

god..... he’s perfect.................................................................

honestly, I was never a wooper fan and I’m still not, but this one is 100% better than quaqsire. he’s better than most things.

----

sorry i wound up talking about like all of them. I really like most of them, even the ones I skipped

#pokemon #scarlet violet #pokemon violet #pokemon SV #pokemon spoilers #pokemon SV spoilers

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cloudninetonine · 1 year

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You know how in my fic like 6 of the boys are corrupted? My brain supplied me with 2 different ideas for a corrupted Player (if they existed in the fic, they don’t but it’s fun to imagine).

The 2 ideas are both the same thing but slightly skewed: basically, a sort of glitchy zombie like husk of their original state.

The two different versions are very similar but with different causes. One is induced by the sheikah mark on their palm, so they are covered in the sheikah veins and their eyes are the swirling guardian ones.

The other is simply because of their nature of universe, jumping from their world to another where the connection between the two is a video game? Yeah, some sort of otherworldly bullshit is going to happen. This one would have glitch marks appear all over Player, like those small rectangle colors over static or simply black boxes that vibrate. Lots of error messages follow them along with a multitude of powering down sounds or system crashes.

There is an incredibly disturbing song that makes me think of this actually, the area between 5:00 and 5:50 of JerryTerry’s Kiss Me (Kill Me) (found this around Halloween, proper spooks). The vocals are extremely distorted, unnerving, and bone chilling, sort of how I’d imagine Player would sound in this state. It was specifically this part that got the angst thought train running. You can blame this song for giving me the ideas of angst (but don’t because it’s actually really good).

NO BECAUSE BB I LOVE YOUR FIC SO FUCKING MUCH AND I LOVE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH (Ngl was also thinking of corrupted Player in your au but you didn't hear that from me)

That song was hella disturbing and the idea of Playwr screaming in that tone is downright horrorfying and I love it so much, unnerving and downright wrong but omg I love the Sheikah idea too? Oh! Maybe they glitch between the two forms because they're not of this world but the world is trying to incorporate them in? There's flashes of a horrible amalgamation between the two that just makes Player scream in pain?

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN ITS AMAZING

#cloud answers #bloodybloob #BB

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nonclassyparty · 1 year

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listen honestly woo pissed me off so bad this chapter. the way he defended yeosang and hit mc with the “he didn’t do anything wrong” i’m just like “you KNOW what he did, she cried to you about it idk how many times!! like is he playing dumb?” you like yeosang that much that you’d throw away a friendship like that? you only knew him for a week!! (i know it was longer but still 🙄)

and i know it’s their personality but idk why the first thing he isn’t trying to do is apologize to her. i feel like she genuinely deserves that but ig it’d feel like he’s apologizing for being with yeosang which is something he isn’t sorry for but at that point i’d fight bc what happened for y’all to fall that hard so fast you’d do your best friend like that?? we��d be fighting. it was definitely unfair and a cop out to throw it in her face how she lied to him and use that as justification bc she had apologized already and was even making an effort to not to do that again so idk where the hell he got off thinking it was his turn

and thinking about it now in the past ten chapters no one’s truly apologized to this girl after the bs they have put her through. and then have the nerve to try and feel sorry but never outright just say “i’m sorry for..” like i would be losing it

nono when he said "he didn't do anything wrong" he was referring to present time and the way yn was treating him in that moment, obv wy knows what ys did wrong otherwise he wouldn't have been hiding their relationship.

and wooyoung's first instinct WAS to apologize but the more yn was hostile the more he started giving her the same treatment as thats how they were when they were kids like they're both extremely explosive and when they go against each other like this it always brings out the worst in one another bc they're so similar. in chp 2 i think she even describes wy as being the only one who can keep up with her in that scenario and says he knows how to be even worse than her (meaning more cruel when the two of them get into it). the only difference is that after they become friends, yn always repeats to herself how she couldnt do or say anything to hurt wy which is why she held back so many times in the past but wy didn't do the same thing for her and i think besides the lying that's the thing that will hurt the most for her. that people who she always holds herself back from hurting when she's angry don't seem to be doing the same for her. which is heartbreaking...yeah 😭 and he's gonna hate himself for it (he already does)

besides that, he'll never be sorry for being in a relationship with ys bc that would make yeo feel like shit as well no? he's only sorry for lying and hiding stuff from yn and now for throwing san in her face like that.

your last paragraph got me thinking a little bit...bc i have never even thought of writing any of these characters to be nicer to her in the moments when they're supposed to be 'mean' no matter how bad they might seem. i guess what makes people think they can be unapologetically cruel to her is because she is cruel herself so they think she can handle it and that she won't even be thinking too much about it bc she's just in her own little world which is obviously wrong and she's a lot softer than she lets on and she was from the start. wy obviously knows better than that but san, mingi, hwa, her parents, jennie and the rest of those girls they all think she can handle it bc of the cold, untouchable and sometimes simply mean attitude that she carries herself with.

thanks for this message by the way, it's really fun to discuss like this with you guys <3

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thisaintascenereviews · 7 months

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Cryptopsy - As Gomorrah Burns / Dying Fetus - Make Them Beg For Death

My favorite extreme metal album this year is the new Cannibal Corpse album, Chaos Horrific, but a few weeks prior to that record coming out, two other huge death metal bands dropped albums that I wasn’t really in the mood to listen to, albeit in more detail, at least until something else came along. Those two albums were Dying Fetus’ Make Them Beg For Death and Cryptopsy’s As Gomorrah Burns. Both of these bands are very important in different ways, but they reside in a very similar part of the death metal scenes. They both got popular around the same time, although a few years apart. Cryptopsy got popular around the early 90s, whereas Dying Fetus rose to fame during the late 90s, but they both occupy a similar place. They’re both death metal bands with cult followings, and they haven’t released an album in a very long time. Dying Fetus hasn’t released an album in about six years, whereas Cryptopsy hasn’t released one in about eleven years.

I figured I’d talk about these albums in the same review, because I feel very similar about these albums. They’re very good records, but they also lack something, and it took me a few listens to figure that out. What they lack isn’t immediacy, accessibility, or even the riffs and heaviness that you’d expect, but it’s that they’re not necessarily extremely “exciting.” In my review of Chaos Horrific, I talk a bit about that, and how that album is the first heavy album of the year that feels so exciting to me. There’s a sense of renewed energy that the band has, but in general, that album just did what it did well. Cannibal Corpse is an American institution as this point, and their sound is very accessible, but the album is also a lot of fun.

Don’t get me wrong, these two albums are fun, too, but they just feel like the band going through the motions in spots. Granted, both albums are short, as Cryptopsy’s new album is only 33 minutes and Dying Fetus’ is only 38, so you’re not spending too much time with these albums, but aside from some cool riffs, and some good solos, you know what to expect. You know what to expect with Chaos Horrific, too, but I don’t get sick of it. I’d recommend both of those albums, as they’re a couple of solid death metal records, but it’s kind of a bummer that a lot of heavy music hasn’t done much for me this year, and Chaos Horrific (to some extent, the new Thy Art Is Murder album gives me the same feeling) is one of the only albums to be really exciting, although these albums are good, they’re just not interesting enough to really keep my attention with multiple listens.

#cryptopsy #as gomorrah burns #dying fetus #make them beg for death #death metal #deathgrind #technical death metal #heavy metal #metal #relapse records #nuclear blast records

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cornflowershade · 2 years

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okay so I watched the Winchesters pilot (c’mon, it’s Jensen’s show. I had to, despite myself.) And considering I had negative zero expectations... I’ll say it was fairly okay. The pacing sucks (hopefully it’ll improve) but that could be because they had a ton of exposition to include. The filming and music are also nice. And it had a vibe it was going for, even if that wasn’t nailed all the way through the pilot. But yeah, pilots can be rough. BUT OOH I gotta add, Carlos is wonderful. (I’ll definitely keep watching for him.) Now as for the main characters..... John is actually great. I thought I’d be mad because he’s not Matt Cohen haha—and don’t get me wrong that would’ve been cool—but this worked. He’s written quite faithfully in personality to what we’ve previously seen of young John, and the acting is very good—he carried most of the episode. I’m also impressed his performance was so consistent, considering he was acting across a LITERAL BLOCK OF WOOD. Which brings me to the depressed part of my review, which is that Mary absolutely sucks. Not only is she written EXTREMELY out of character (falling more into a stereotypical “action girl” trap* rather than being her own person, who we’ve seen brought to the screen beautifully by two different actresses in the past), and not only does she look wrong (the hair. the makeup. the styling. I’m still crying over this), but she’s so annoying. Yes, not just cookie cutter, but actively annoying. And worst of all is that the acting for her is plain bad?? When she talks it’s like she’s reading off a script, without bothering to actually acknowledge that there’s other people around her in a scene. It’s like she’s walking around in an invisible box, and John and everyone else are on the other side of it. They may as well have green-screened her in. I wish she could be recast because Mary is the weakest part of the show, no question, and I’m happiest when she’s off-screen. Which makes me so sad to say. (Also side note, but this led to me musing that John and Carlos had five times as much chemistry as John and Mary did lol. Tell me I’m wrong. Two scenes and by the time they were in the back of the van I was like... okay yeah I’d ship that for fun.)

* @argentnoelle noted to me that it’s a bit like she’s acting in a different genre from the rest of the show. One part stock-cw-action-character and one part netflix-original-movie.

Also Latika is kinda stock and a bit over-acted. I kept going back and fourth on her. If they bother to improve her, I think that could be very possible.

Ada on the other hand is already good imo. I like her and hope she will be recurring.

ANYWAY those are my feelings on it so far, and surprise, I will in fact keep watching. Yes, it’s kinda mediocre, but again? John and Carlos are both good characters, as is John’s mom by the way. Also I want to know how the canon-conflicting content will be explained away. (Probably something to do with angels? I think the magic box thing has to do with angels btw. It glowed blue, and for me that counts as evidence lol. Also speaking of effects, why do the demons have voice filters, that is such a bad choice. The visual effects are also kinda odd and not very spn.) But yeah it has just enough going for it that I’m gonna stick with it, especially because this is Jensen’s lil passion project. What can I say, it’s been 15 years and I wanna support the guy.

*sigh* I’m gonna struggle sitting through more scenes of Mary, though. They did our girl SO dirty. In a show with generally good writing/characterization, and otherwise nice casting, I’m just so confused why Mary suffers from the exact opposite.

#spnwin #the winchesters #spn #meta #mine #cornflower reviews spnwin #spnwin 1x01

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fellstcr · 2 years

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mun’s interpretation / @kleinstar / ACCEPTING !

✘ Any unpopular opinions about your muse?

||. buddy most of the time i’m half-convinced my entire take on byleth IS an unpopular opinion. at least, to the loud part of the fandom. despite all of my observations being 100% based on canon. all of the canons. if not just the majority of the routes.and fun fact: i’ve played through CF extremelly recently. EXTREMELY recently. all of it only further supports every single thought i’ve had about byleth concerning multiple aspects of her that carry through consistently.

but i could be entirely wrong. for context though: generally speaking most byleth interpretations either go completely anti!church or anti!nabatean/dragon for... i’m not really sure what reason. tbh???? given that there is only one route where that’s even remotely a consideration for her. (and even then her beef is very specifically w her grandmom.) 3/4 routes have byleth actively spearheading the church in rhea’s stead, with all 3 having her taking up sothis’ mantle (and in some ways, rhea’s) in different ways. SS being the most obvious from start to finish as far as sothis’ legacy goes, VW allowing her to discover her nabatean heritage and avenge it by directly confronting Nemesis, and AM being more fully in the middle of those two things for no reason other than byleth coming into being the bridge between the dragons and the humans, and the past and present completely on her own. and ultimately the most healthily and emotionally-sound.

VERY generally speaking??? it’s like there’s this weird stigma against the church + rhea as a whole and most content with byleth takes ... CF!byleth way out of context and then transposes that onto actually every other route. i’ve even read post!AM-route fanfics where she’s super ... catty... with rhea. despite this byleth having an incredibly close and mutually loving relationship with the archbishop in AM. tbh probably even more so than SS!byleth. suffice it to say it’s a little bit odd, but hey. if that’s what makes ppl connect to byleth that’s all the more power to them. but she’s very, VERY different to that, in canon and that’s what i personally am going to stick to/base all my decisions about her on. (from ALL routes. bc in this house we stan multi-faceted byleth eisner.)

☯ Is your muse liked or disliked by fandom? Does this affect your portrayal?

||. i wouldn’t really say byleth is disliked as much as i’d say she’s EXTREMELY misunderstood. i mean, she’s certainly disliked by some, but that’s true of any character. but then that also requires the fandom to actually b other to admit that byleth is a CHARACTER, and not a “player insert avatar only”. i’m not going to rant too much about why that’s really irritating for me as both a byleth fan and as a screenwriter myself, but si’ll simply say that a HUGE reason i decided to commit to byleth specifically is because i wanted to not only do her justice as per stated above, but to bring to light all of the character-driven moments, decisions, and game-choices that 3 houses presents to us with all of us just.. not really realizing. she’s honestly an amazing characte, who does make sense, is NOT pandered to, IS interesting/engaging, and is so much more than what the fandom misinterprets her as. like. hot take but byleth always had a personality before 3 hopes the only thing that game did was actually make people pay attention. i was NOT surprised by anything she ever did and said because they actually kept her in character.

#kleinstar #⚔️ ooc. / mun.#⚔️ ask. / trade secrets.#meme friday #hmmmmmmmmmm #fandom critical #??#critical #(ppl who know me well know i could get on a soap box about these things for DAYS)#(my poor roommate has had to listen to me rant aabout byleth for 3 hours straight mULTIPLE times in the past year just because of-)#(fandom making me mad)#(byleth is a character !!! we all need to actually TREAT her like one tyvm this has been my TEDtalk)

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verbo-s-e · 11 months

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june 4, 3:10 pst, scene of the crime, 17 days later

if i were to paint you a picture using words, this is what i’d say:

i’m at the park, on the bench by where we sat in the grass. rewatching it all unfold, trying to understand and i can’t. i don’t know how. honestly: i don’t understand any of it.

i’m listening to ‘fine line instrumental’ on repeat. it’s calming and healing and about the only source of outside stimulation my nervous system can tolerate. i have a migraine. but i’m here. i’m here. i’ve always been here.

so why do i feel invisible?

i need to do a hard thing. a painful thing. i don’t want to. i don’t know how. or, maybe i do. i’ve done it before. but this? this feels different. but like everything else, it comes. one foot in front the other. day by day. minute by minute. second by second. i know. i know. i know. i’ve always known.

what? you ask. what’s your point? what have you known? a blaisé answer: everything and nothing. i shrug.

nothing of the last four + years has felt real. yet the most real. so as i’m sitting here on this bench, extremities falling asleep, i say to myself, so what’s the problem, chuck? chuck is a nickname my childhood best friends grandpa called me one saturday morning. it stuck.

i’m stalling, all in the name of art to get my point across. maybe in another life, or alternate universe i’m not making these choices. writing these words. maybe. maybe. bartering is fun.

not here and now though. now we’re faced with something far more tragic. does it feel tragic to you? ‘square peg, round hole’ comes to mind. you want to so desperately make something work and it just… won’t. nothing wrong with the square. nothing wrong with the round. they just don’t fit. we don’t fit. and i’m not sure we ever truly did.

i used to think we fit. so perfectly like two puzzle pieces. but…. square peg, round hole. i stopped trying to figure out why we both don’t like chocolate or how we both want to name our firstborn kid, river. for the same. exact. reasons. i stopped trying to understand how or why our mannerisms were so similar, or the way we talk or gesticulate. ‘same person dude’ a running inside joke no longer just shared between us.

i, foolishly put weight into those things thinking we were bound by the cosmos and divine to always find and orbit each other. we were two lost halves of one soul. or.. whatever.

because it’s been so obvious this whole time and yet one giant question mark. ‘what does it mean?’ i’d always ask. ‘why?’ ‘why why why why why’ why me?

these questions plagued me. for so long. and id often wonder if they had the same effect on you. if you noticed or wondered about these things at all. i stopped asking a long time ago. all it did was break my heart. the more i asked myself, the sky, the universe — the more you proved to me you never did.

it’s okay. in the way that is, actually not okay, but in a self realization moment of, ‘okay, this is just where they’re at.’ i blame myself mostly and think it’s easier to just shoulder the blame. walk away. go underground to never be seen again. nurse my pride and ego away from everyone.

i want that. god do i want that. but honestly, i think i’d be doing us both a massive disservice.

we mirror each other in all the best and worst ways and there is something profoundly beautiful in that. tragic, albeit. but beautiful, none the less. i think we’ve reached an impasse. a place within in this friendship that no longer looks or feels like friendship anymore, if you can ever even call what this what it is/was.

this is my long winded, verbose way of saying that as friends, i think we should ‘break up’ if you will. put the final nail in the coffin of something that’s already been six feet in the ground. we’ve exhumed it too many times. valiant efforts were made, make no mistake. but we need to put it to rest. give it a proper burial and send off. insert hard thing done here.

at the end of the day, we’re just two people trying to figure life out in the ways only we know how and by doing so, it’s no longer healthy to keep the presence alive. in this great quest to answer the big questions between us of, how and why — i lost myself. abandoned myself. i set you center stage all in the name of curiosity. well… you know what they say about curiosity. i died a long time ago.

i’m never going to truly be able to turn what i feel ‘off’ and i think that unsettles you. just as i’m never going to feel fully safe around you emotionally. we’re both always going to question the motives behind the other and the mess that lays between us is just that: a mess.

make no mistake: this is not me throwing in the towel because you don’t reciprocate my love or for my lack of trying to make things work between us. because i tried for a very very long time. bleeding out right in front of you while you just turned your cheek the other way. ‘i didn’t know if i was helping or hurting you by being in your life.’ yes you did. yes you did. you’ve always known just as i’ve always known. whether tou realized it or not. after all, nothing is ever truly a surprise between us, is it?

#break up #twin flame #online diary #verbo-S-e #feelings #emotional #Spotify

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sarah-dipitous · 1 year

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 85

Lucifer Rising/The Last of the Time Lords

I can't believe we're doing two season finales today. What...fun?? Who's to say

"Lucifer Rising"

Plot Description: Sam and Dean prepare for the apocalypse in different ways. Ruby, Lilith, Castiel, and Zachariah appear

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: you know, in 5th grade there was a moment where I was like “I think I’ll become a nun so I never have to get married” (an extremely allo and amatonormative thought to have), but I never did. And therefore I’d never be in the position to be killed like this

It’s not JUST the 11 more seasons that makes me think there is an “after” for Sam and that he’s not changed forever…

Ooo Bobby laying it ALL out. He’s right about most things here, but your family is not SUPPOSED to make you miserable, man…I’m SOBBING. “You’re a better man than your dad ever was. So do us both a favor, don’t be him.”

Castiel, what…where did you take Dean off to??

What in the White House McDonalds meal is this??

Wait. Dean knows about the Suite Life of Zack and Cody??? Why?? This is not a judgement, it’s just…

I don’t like basically knowing what the next line from Zachariah is…when Dean asks why he should have faith in the angels, I said “because you swore to?” Right before Zach goes “because you swore your obedience”

So Dean has no choice but to sit there and wait?? Rude. So he calls Sam 😭 but the voicemail cuts off just as he’s saying he’s sorry?? Why do we keep having technology that cuts out RIGHT BEFORE THE THING THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID GETS SAID

I still don’t trust Ruby

On some level, Sam still knows what he’s doing is wrong. And you can tell that by his very deer in the headlights look when the demon possessing the nurse lets the nurse’s consciousness take over for a bit

Not to be…but like. Sam, this isn’t you. This isn’t your heart

Stop taking away Dean’s free will. He’s not an angel. He was given free will as a bonus to humanity.

This is a far cry from the Sam who, with Dean, wouldn’t let everyone in that police precinct die, nor the one girl who volunteered to be sacrificed for the greater good to stop Lilith.

You know…….I should have seen this “both heaven and hell want the apocalypse to happen.” Not just because I’ve seen this before, but because Good Omens did the exact same thing

Man I hope that security guard doesn’t blink

The weird knowledge gaps angels have cracks me up. There are pop culture references they don’t know, but they DO KNOW how cell phone plans work

Ooo, are Sam and Ruby about to break up?

No. NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO THEY CHANGED DEAN’S VOICEMAIL. THOSE ASSHOLES.

the TRUST Dean has in Cas. That boy swore obedience to ONE angel. Like, yeah, it's in his best interest. Trusting Castiel, who has tried to, wanted to help him in the past, is his only ticket out of this room to go find Sam. But to be startled like that, have have Cas shove you up against a wall, hand over your mouth, Ruby's knife out and inches from your gut, and just the knowing look that as long as you don't make ONE sound, there is a CHANCE you might get out of there. (Look, back in 2011/2012, did I start shipping Destiel because it a little bit bothered my friend who introduced me to the show? yeah, but at the same time, after watching it, I understood why people did. And I was right to)

Omg omg Omg omg omg, I’m connecting the dots of Ruby feeding Sam demon blood and Cas using his blood to rescue Dean, banish Zachariah, stop the apocalypse (Edit later: I haven't connected shit...I was pretty busy the rest of the day)

There's something about Chuck touching Cas's shoulder (knowing who Chuck actually is) as the archangel coming to protect him rages outside, as they're trying to stop the apocalypse from coming.

I knew she couldn’t be trusted. This was a long, long game she was playing…

Not the demon eyes on himmmmmm. Great job, Sam. You broke the last seal…

Ok. I know the story is telling me to absolutely hate Ruby. I know this. And on some level, I do. But holy shit she’s so hot right now. Way better than any other moment she’s been on screen. So unrepentantly evil. She’s giddy about it. She’s so excited. She’s been persecuted for so long by EVERYONE but Lilith because they all thought she was helping the Winchesters. She's been around for two seasons "helping" them. And all this time...and she probably would have been greatly rewarded iiiiiiiiiiiiif she hadn't pissed off the Winchesters and they didn't kill her immediately :/

“Been On My Mind…”: Saby? Rum? broke up so nah, man. 9

"The Last of the Time Lords"

Plot Description: The mighty warships of a new Time Lord Empire arise from the Earth. With the Doctor being held prisoner by thte Master, and the Universe on the brink of war, only Martha Jones can save the human race

A whole YEAR passed since the last episode???

Oh. OH. OHHHHH. I forgot that this is what Martha does this episode. She's on a sort of fetch quest

God...I do love the Jones family. I love them outsmarting the Master. And it's so easy, too. He doesn't even consider them because he's this genius Time Lord and they're merely human...and they know THAT

The whole CGI'd Doctor will never not be creepy

In...in this timeline Bill Gates is dead?

Ok, the Master talking about the drumming reminded me that I realized this morning that there's a beeping my car makes (and I don't know how to trigger it) that has that tempo.

That's....unbelievably horrific. What did the Master DO to those poor humans on Utopia??

It's really interesting to hear the differences in what the Doctor and the Master believe the duty of the Time Lords is. The Master believes it's his right to meddle with time and space however he wants simply because he has the power to. But the Doctor knows it's to hold things in balance and there are certain things you just do not mess with. AND FUCKING PARADOXES IS ONE OF THEM WTF MAN

(Had to look up the actor who plays Thomas Milligan...tell me why the universe has lined up again so that I'm watching an episode with the lead actor for the show Lucifer on the same day I watch the episode that Lucifer is set free in Supernatural??)

THE PROFESSOR IS GOING TO BETRAY MARTHA????

Martha, you deserve to be a legend, too, babes. Sure, the Doctor was born into greatness by being a Time Lord, but YOU. Oh, YOU! He doesn't deserve you

Oh, but even though that professor betrayed her, the people did not...yet she gave herself up anyway. Oh, Thomas. RIP. You were a good guy

OKAY BUT HOW DOES THAT WORK. I knew the gun thing was a red herring, but she still had to do the quite literal legwork. But...why does everyone on Earth just THINKING the word Doctor at that one time reverse what the Master did to him??

I'm sorry, you did WHAT NOW??

Ayo, did they lose the rights to use "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters?? Because I remember THAT being used in these episodes, but I haven't heard it ONCE. There's not enough time/story left in this one. Right??

I think it would have been more interesting to not let time reverse? And have to live with the consequences of what happened? Rebuild from there? Then again, that would probably mean that Donna would be a very earthbound companion, she wouldn't get to meet Agatha Christie or anything. So, it's probably best. Maybe? Anyway...

This scene though...where the Master refuses to regenerate. I can't imagine how it would feel to discover that you aren't the last of your species, your near immortal species, the species you wiped out yourself, only for the only other one to be your old friend, your rival, but he'd rather DIE than spend any more time with you. And on the flip side, to be brought back into consciousness of who you really are, who you believe you were meant to be, and then to be told that your one chance at living is as at best a pet? and at worst a prisoner? Just an eternity of THAT? You can hardly blame him for not wanting to go on...(Ohhhhhhhhh, there's probably some good todobros angsty shit I could dig out of this...)

What is it with these BBC shows having diametrically opposed yet equal in every way rivals? And having the evil one die to cause IMMENSE PAIN to the good one?

And AGAIN!!! Like, that was episode TWO of season ONE. JUST LONG GAMES ALL AROUND. Yeah, the Face of Boe identity reveal is no longer a surprise for me in 2023, but...it's just weird how these two episodes were put together so beautifully

Ohhhh, he wants to take Martha to meet Agatha Christie, but Martha's about to tell him she's staying home. (This does shed new, sadder light on the "great big outer space dunce" moment next season. He didn't appreciate Martha as much as he should have, but he learned and gushed all his feelings to Donna how he appreciates her and how her friendship has meant the world to him....when she's telling him she's just gonna pop home to say hi)

Martha <3 It's sad to see her go, but knowing she comes back (and I think a couple times next season?) eases the pain

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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messers-moony · 3 years

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King and Queen | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Fem!Potter!Reader, James Potter X Fem!Twin!Reader

Summary: James goes through a lot during his time at Hogwarts but his sister is always by his side.

Inspiration: Click

A/N: If this comes off insensitive to anyone please let me know and I will remove this.

James Potter was a handful. From the minute he was born, he had this gleam in his hazel eyes that raged and burned with trouble. His twin, Y/n Potter, was almost the opposite. The soft smile that laid on her features and the glitter of calamity in her eyes. Euphemia and Fleamont were in for a lot the minute their twins were born.

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder is most comparative to having a web browser up with one too many tabs. James had always been unable to focus and was naturally messy. Truth be told, he thought it was normal, just as everyone else did. It wasn’t until his second year at Hogwarts did he realize something was genuinely wrong with him.

Remus told him that he had this muggle thing called “dyslexia,” which was a difficulty in interpreting words, letters, and other symbols. However, it never affected his overall intelligence because everyone knew that Remus Lupin was indeed and wholly brilliant. It got James wondering, did his inability to focus, be organized, and hyperactivity have a deeper meaning?

His twin - Y/n - was quite the opposite. She made quick friends with Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who were close friends of her twin. Y/n was top of their class, creating a friendly competition with Remus, but she was always able to focus. Often she would hyper-focus, which would leave her working for over five hours at a time without realizing it. In those times, James would have to snap her out of it.

Over the summer, James expressed his concerns to his parents. He was talking about how this could be a real issue he’s facing using Remus’ dyslexia as an example. Eventually, they gave in, letting James go to a muggle doctor. James had to fill out a questionnaire that would come back with his results in one week. That week was probably the longest week of his life. Nonetheless, his test results had come back positive.

Fleamont and Euphemia would be lying if they were surprised. After hearing about the disorder, it was almost the definition of their eldest son. Fortunately for James, the muggles had come up with a cure - no, not a cure - dammit, what was it again?

Impede the symptoms! That’s what those muggle pills do. James was required to take two pills a day, one in the morning and once at night. Y/n was in charge of making sure he did so because - more times than he’d like to admit - he would forget everything if it wasn’t for Y/n.

In third year, James was as energetic as ever while getting on the Hogwarts Express, “Aren’t you excited, Y/n?!”

She chuckled, “Yes, but Merlin, you don’t need to literally jump with joy.”

“But I’m excited!”

“I know that.”

They made their way to the compartment that held Remus, who was reading a book. James sat in front of him while Y/n took her seat beside Remus, “‘Ello Remus.”

“Hey, Potter pair.”

Y/n sighed, and James groaned, “That nickname needs to go away.”

“I quite like it.” Remus stated smugly, “Suits you both.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Y/n accused falsely, “It means that wherever one of you are, the other isn’t that far behind.” Remus replied.

James had zoned out already, and Y/n snapped in his face, “Take your pills?”

“Forgot.” James muttered guiltily, “Oh Godric.” She whispered.

“Pills?”

“James went to a muggle doctor this summer.”

Remus quirked an eyebrow, “Did you now?”

“Got diagnosed with ADHD.” James informed, and Remus looked amiss, “Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.”

“Ah, I’ve heard of that.” Remus said, and James smiled sheepishly, “I feel kinda odd, like out of place.”

“Why?”

“Dunno, just, why can't I be normal?”

“You are normal, James.” Y/n reassured, “And anyone who says differently obviously doesn’t care about you.”

The compartment door slammed open, “Who doesn’t care about who?”

Remus snorted, “Ever the dramatics, huh, mate?”

“‘Course.” Sirius flopped down beside James, “It comes with my charm and devilishly good looks.”

“Ah, yes.” Y/n said, chuckling, “Don’t you see how I’m swooning for you?”

The back of her palm was against her forehead, “Come off it.” James swatted at her and then elbowed Sirius, “Better not make my sister swoon.”

Sirius chuckled and shrugged, “Can’t help it. I’m just that irresistible.”

The four of them laughed at Sirius’ dramatics and continued talking about the new term. Remus and Y/n were talking about books they couldn’t wait to read. Remus was even kind enough to gift her some muggle books he bought over the summer holiday. Sirius and James bickered about what pranks to do this year, along with which ones were better.

Third-year was fun. It was a year of flooding corridors, turning Slytherin robes red and blasting music in the common room after a Gryffindor victory. James was a brilliant Quidditch Chaser, and Y/n was a fantastic Seeker. Nothing was quite like the Potter pair. Something about them was just unforgettable.

Maybe that’s why Sirius was so fond of her. Something about the Potters made people around them smile on the hardest of days. They made sure that every moment was a night to remember. Every memory was worth reliving. So adventurous, so reckless, yet so kind and loving.

By the time fifth year rolled around, Sirius Orion Black had fallen off a cliff into a lake called love. Sirius completely submerged himself in love for Y/n Potter. The younger twin by just 20 minutes, but something about her was so divine. Was it her silk and glittering h/c hair? No - maybe it was her gleaming e/c eyes. Perhaps it was for her strive for adventure and extreme kindness.

Nonetheless, Sirius fell hard.

And who better to tell than James Potter himself?

Causally - as usual - Sirius opened the door to the Marauders dorm. It was empty aside from the brunet boy with glasses on the bridge of his nose. His hazel eyes were focused on a textbook - Potions textbook - maybe it was to impress Lily. Sirius couldn’t care less, so he pulled the chair out in front of the desk and sat before James.

“Mate, I need your help.”

“Running from Filch?”

“No. Something- Something worse.”

“Something worse?” The textbook shut loudly.

Sirius nodded, “Way worse.”

“Alright then, come into my office.” James teased, and Sirius grinned.

It was silent, “I’m in love with your sister.”

James sputtered, “Excuse me?”

“I’m in love with Y/n.”

“No, no.” James waved his hand horizontally, “I heard you.”

“Then what else would you like me to say?” Sirius asked.

“Literally anything else.”

“Sorry, mate.” Sirius muttered, “I- I really didn’t mean to.”

James chuckled and wiped his hand across his face, “I suppose you can’t really stop love, huh?”

“You really can’t.” Sirius agreed, “I tried. I promise I tried.”

“It’s not that big of a deal late.” James assured, and Sirius looked at him with wide eyes, “I trust you just-“

“Just?”

“I’m worried about her.” James completed, “I- I worry about her every night.”

Sirius softened, “It’s like you with Regulus-“ James continued before Sirius could interject, “And don’t pretend. Your silencing charms are bloody terrible.”

“I know you still care for Regulus, you worry about him every night, and I do the same for Y/n, except my silencing charms are better.” James teased sightly, “I trust you, Sirius. You’re the brother I never got but always wanted. You know, the brother I can play Quidditch with, rough around with, the brother who’s just as sneaky and mischievous as I.”

“But Y/n is still my blood. She's my twin, my best friend, my partner in crime. She was the mind behind my pranks before Remus.” James elaborated and then smirked, “Remus and Y/n make a great team, ya’ know?”

“They are quite brilliant.”

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, take care of her?” James looked like the eleven-year-old boy again, “Don’t make her a fling and don’t make this temporary.”

“Y/n is a strong woman, and she isn’t for weak men. I’ll be honest,” James chuckled, “She doesn’t need a man. She doesn’t even really need me. I need her more than she needs me. Regardless, take care of her. She deserves a man worthy of her. Someone that’ll get her ice cream at 4 a.m. because she’s craving it. Someone that’ll go on sporadic trips with her. Someone that’ll understand that after a hard day, all she wants is a book and coffee.”

Sirius was appalled; he’d never seen James look so passionate, “Growing up, mum always told me to be a gentleman. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but she always raised me as one. To hold a door for them, push and push in their chairs for them, give them my jacket even if I’ll freeze.”

“Those kinda things. Dad said I should practice on Y/n, and I did. From then, Y/n always got treated like a queen, and she deserves no less. I won't lie, my parents treat me like a king too, and I don’t want any less either.” James explained, “Be the king that’s worthy of my sister.”

“That’s all I ask of you.”

Sirius nodded, “I’d be honored to serve her as my queen.”

“And if you show her no less, she’ll spit you out like chewing gum.”

He shuttered, “I hate how accurate that phrase is.”

James laughed, “I know her more than you think.”

By sixth year they were dating. Sirius would be lying if he wasn’t eternally shitting himself when Y/n said yes to going to Hogsmeade with him, alone, as a date. In fact, James almost wanted to throw him a party for finally not being a little bitch and asking out his sister. This party consisted of a bottle of firewhiskey and chocolate because that’s all that was in the boy's dormitory. But a party nonetheless.

When Lily rejected James for the last time before graduation, he was utterly heartbroken. He’d spent and dedicated seven years of his life to this gorgeous woman. Despite all his efforts and all his charms, she still wasn’t interested. James tried. He really tried. He wanted Lily so bad. His heart broke when she said her final words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry, Potter. Maybe in another life, just not this one.”

Tears had ebbed at the corner of his eyes as he made his way back into the castle from the Black Lake. In the common room, where he felt like he had just got dowsed in water. James made his way to the girl's dormitory. His hand curled into a fist and knocked lightly on the wooden door. Shuffling was heard from the other side, and the door finally opened, revealing his sister.

Without warning, James crashed into her arms, forcing his nose in the crook of her neck, “Woah.”

“Are you okay, James?”

His body shook with sobs as he shook his head no, “It’s okay. Let’s go lay down, okay?”

Gently she led him to her bed. He curled up beneath the navy blue comforter and placed his head on the silk pillow sheets. If he tried hard enough, he could forget the way Lily’s hair smelt today or the way her green eyes glistened in the sun. Now engulfed in his sister's scent, trying to remove every feeling for Lily possible, he dug his nose deeper into the comforter.

Y/n sat beside him, her back to the headboard, and ran her fingers through James’ already untied hair, “What's got you so worked up?”

“It’s done.”

“What’s done?”

“L- Lily and I.” James choked, “She- She really doesn’t want me.”

A new wave of tears overcame him, and Y/n continued to try and soothe him, “Well, she’s a tosser.”

James narrowed his eyes, “James, you know I love her. She's my best friend, but if she can’t see what’s right in front of her, then she’s an idiot.”

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

“You sure you don’t want me to stay at your dorm?” Y/n questioned, “Because you know who sleeps here.”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Till the end.”

After a couple of minutes, Y/n and James made their way down the steps to the boy's side. They walked up more steps and finally made it to the boy's dormitory. James collapsed on his bed in the left corner of the room, and Sirius perked up at seeing his girlfriend enter the room.

“Whatcha doin’ here, love?”

“Staying with my brother.”

Sirius nodded and stood up to hug her, gently pecking her forehead, “If you guys need anything, let me know, ‘kay?”

“Thanks, Siri.”

Gently Y/n pulled back the maroon curtain and sat down beside him again. James reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers. Something they used to do as kids. When a thunderstorm would go by, James would always seek sanctuary in his sister's comfort.

He fell asleep that night, knowing he was safe, loved, and knew that someone cared about him. Even if Lily didn’t love him, at least someone else did. He had his boys, and he had his sister. Right now, that’s all he needed beside him: Screw Lily and her idiot decision skills. Y/n was right; she was a complete tosser.

When Hogwarts was over, James and Y/n got a flat together. Sirius, Remus, and Peter got one only a floor above. Realistically this wasn’t the plan. James always planned to buy a house with Lily, but he was still healing, and after everything going on, it was vital for him to hold his sister close to him.

Euphemia and Fleamont barely lived to see their children graduate. Not too long afterward had died due to the horrid dragon pocks. It devastated both twins and Sirius. While Sirius wasn’t their true child, he very well could’ve. Euphemia noticed Sirius’s lingering stares on Y/n and the loopy smile that graced his features.

She was the one who got Sirius to man up. She was the one who gave him advice. She was the one who told him what books were her favorite, which chocolate she liked the best, her favorite quills. Euphemia was one of the main components in getting Sirius to date her daughter, and when it finally happened, the parents couldn’t have been happier.

James’ ADHD still remained even in his adulthood, making regular everyday tasks much harder and twice as long. Most of the time, the pills were able to help him complete those tasks. But sometimes, when Y/n wasn’t there to remind him, he would miss his days. When Y/n got home from work, she had barely taken off her shoes to see the apartment spotless.

It was a pleasant surprise, but James was never really one to clean, not that she really minded, but the apartment didn’t have a speck of dust on it. Hesitantly she put her keys on the island along with her bag.

“James!”

“Yes, Y/n?”

He appeared in the kitchen where Y/n was, “Um, did you clean the apartment?”

“Yes, I did!” James nodded enthusiastically.

Y/n sighed and gave her brother a sweet smile, “What did you not do today?”

“So, you know how you told me to go to the pharmacy?”

“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Indeed I do.”

“Well, they were out of my meds.” James informed, “I have to wait a week.”

“Oh, Merlin.”

“On the bright side!” James was already causing her a headache, “It’s gonna be a fantastic week! I’ve got so many things planned for us! We’re gonna go-“

James continued to ramble as Y/n grabbed her keys, bag and slipped back on her shoes, “I’m going to Sirius’!”

“Thought you were my sister.” James faked pouting, and Y/n smiled, “I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“I love you too!” He yelled as she closed the door.

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sineala · 3 years

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How would you say fandom culture has changed over the years? What are some differences you notice between older and younger fandom folks?

I’ve been thinking for a while about how to answer this, and I’m not sure I have a really good answer, but I’m going to try.

I’ve been in fandom since approximately 1995. Maybe 1994. At that point, the world wide web was a relatively new part of the internet, and the fandoms I was in had most of their activity on privately-hosted mailing lists (predating eGroups/OneList/Yahoo Groups) and on Usenet newsgroups, with fiction beginning to be available on websites as part of either fandom-specific or pairing-specific archives as well as authors’ individual pages. Fanfiction.net did not yet exist. LiveJournal did not exist. AO3 definitely did not exist. If you wanted real-time chat, there was IRC. I was coming in basically at the tail end of zine fandom; zines were no longer the only way of distributing fanfiction, as fandom started to move online. So I have a selection of zines from 90s-era Western media fandoms but even by then zines weren’t where I was doing most of my reading.

I think in terms of generally “what it was like to be in fandom,” the big-picture stuff hasn’t changed. Fandom still produces creative fanwork and likes to, y’know, get together and talk about fandom. Also, almost every fight or complaint that fandom has about something is a thing that has been going on for actual years. People complain that, say, the kudos button is ruining comment culture because back in the LJ days the only way you could comment on a story was, well, by leaving an actual comment, or sending an email on a mailing list, and this might mean that people who would have otherwise commented have left a kudos instead. But back in the LJ and mailing list days, people were complaining that commenting was going downhill since the days of zines, when in order to comment on a story you had to write a real paper letter and mail it and because you had to do that, the quality of feedback was so much better than you got nowadays because people could just dash off a quick email or comment. You get the idea. Top/bottom wars are not new either. Pairing wars are not new. If you’ve been in fandom a while, you will pretty much have seen all the fights already. I think one thing that is new, though, is the fandom awareness of things like privilege and intersectionality and various -isms, as well as things like “providing warnings might be nice” (do you know how much unwarned deathfic I have read? a lot!) and I sure won’t say we’re perfect at any of this now, but I think fandom is trying way way more about all that stuff than it used to.

There are some fights we actually don’t have anymore, as far as I can tell. I feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen the “real person fiction is wrong” battle, but also I don’t hang out in a whole lot of RPF fandoms, so it’s possible that’s still going and I just don’t see it.

There also used to be a recurring debate about whether gay relationships that were canonical were slash or not. When slash started, obviously this wasn’t a question because there weren’t canonical gay relationships in fandoms, period. But as gay characters began to appear in media, people started to wonder “does slash mean all same-sex relationships, or does slash mean only non-canonical same-sex relationships?” Now, you may be reading this and think that sounds like an incredibly weird thing to get hung up on, but that’s because what appears to have happened is that the term “ship” (originally from X-Files Mulder/Scully fandom) has, as far as I can tell, come up and eaten most of the rest of the terminology. Now people will just say, “oh, I ship that.” For any pairing, gay or not, canonical or not. Fandom seems to have decided that for the most part it no longer actually needs a term specific to same-sex relationships as a genre.

Similarly, there are a few genres of fic that we used to have also pretty much don’t exist anymore. There are also plenty of genres that are well-entrenched now that are also extremely recent -- A/B/O comes to mind. But there are some kinds of fic we don’t write a lot of now. Like, I haven’t seen smarm in years! I also haven’t seen We’re Not Gay We Just Love Each Other in a while. There was also a particular style of slash writing where you’d basically have to explain, in detail, what made you think that these particular characters could be anything other than straight. You’d have to motivate this decision. You’d have to look at their canonical heterosexual relationships and come up with a way to explain why all those had happened in order to reconcile how this one guy could have romantic feelings for another guy. When had he figured out he wasn’t straight? Who might he have been with before? How does he interact with people in ways that make you think he’s not straight? That kind of thing. You had to, essentially, show your work. And these days a lot of fanfic is just like, “Okay, Captain America is bisexual, let’s go!” It’s... different.

Fandom also used to skew older, is my sense. A lot older. I don’t know, actually, if it really was older, but I get the sense now that there are some younger people who are surprised that adults are still in fandom. I have seen people saying these days that they think they’re too old for fanfiction because they are not in middle school anymore. And I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that the barriers to access fandom are a lot lower than they used to be. You used to basically have to be an adult with disposable income (or know an adult with disposable income who was willing to help you out; but even then if you were reading explicit fiction you also had to swear you were 18+, usually by sending in an age statement to whoever you were buying the zine from or to the mods of the list you wanted to join, so a lot of fandom was very much age-gated). Internet access was not widely available. Even if you had internet access, you maybe didn’t have your own email address, so you couldn’t sign up for mailing lists; free email providers didn’t exist. If you wanted to buy zines, you had to have money to buy them. If you wanted to go to cons, you had to be able to afford the cost of the con, travel to the con, et cetera. If you wanted to have a website you had to know HTML. Social media did not exist. You want to draw art? Guess what, you’re probably drawing it on paper! You might be able to upload a picture to your website if you have a digital camera or a scanner, but both of those things are expensive, and also a lot of people don’t have the capability or the money to download pictures from the internet (some people have data caps with overage charges, and some people have text-only connections!), so they won’t get to see it. Maybe you can sell your piece at a con! You want to make a fanvid? We called them songvids, but, anyway, you know how you’re doing that? You’re going to hook two VCRs together and smash the play and record buttons very fast! If you want anyone else to watch them, you are either making them a tape personally and mailing it to them or bringing your vids to a convention. Maybe you can digitize them and upload them, but it’s going to take people hours to download them!

(Every three hours my ISP would kick me off the internet and I’d have to dial in again. If it was a busy time of day, it might take me 20 or 30 minutes to get a connection again. And that was assuming no one else in the house needed to use the phone line. Imagine if your modem went out every three hours now.)

And now, for the cost of my internet connection, I can read pretty much whatever fanfiction I want, whenever I want it. I can see all the fanart I want! I can watch vids! Podfic exists now! Fanmixes exist! Gifsets and moodboards exist! If I want to write fic I can write it with programs that are completely free, and as soon as I post it everyone in the entire world can read it. If I want to draw or make vids that may require some additional investment, but I may also be able to do it with things I already have. Do you have any idea how good we all have it?

There are a couple of kinds of fan activity that don’t seem to exist anymore, though, and I miss them. I know that roleplaying still goes on, but I feel like these days most people who do real-time text roleplay have switched to things like Discord. I know that in the LJ days, RP communities were popular. But I really miss MU*s (MUDs, MUSHes, MOOs, MUXes..), which were servers for real-time text-based RP with a bunch of... hmm... features to aid RP. There were virtual rooms with text descriptions, and objects in virtual rooms with descriptions, and your character had a description, and they could interact with the objects as well as with other characters, and you could program things to change descriptions or emit various kinds of text or take you to different rooms, and so on. Just to, y’know, enhance the atmosphere. It was fun and it was where I learned to RP and I’m sad they’re pretty much gone now.

I also don’t think I see a lot of fanfiction awards in fandoms. Wonder where they went.

Going back to the previous point, the barriers to actually consuming the canon you are fannish about are way, way, way lower now. You can pretty much take it for granted that if right now someone tells you about a shiny new fandom, there will be a way to read that book or watch that show or movie right now. Possibly for free! Of course you can watch it! Why wouldn’t you be able to?

This was absolutely, absolutely not the case before. I’m currently in Marvel Comics fandom. If there is a comic I want to read, I can read it right now on the internet. I have subscribed to Marvel Unlimited and I can read pretty much every comic that is older than three months old; the newer ones cost extra money. But I can do it all from the comfort of my own home right now. I was also, actually, in Marvel Comics fandom in the nineties. If I wanted to read a comic, I had to go to a comic book store and hope they had it in stock; if they didn’t, I had to try another store. Not a lot of comics were available in trade paperback and they definitely weren’t readable on the internet. I used to read a lot of Gambit h/c fic set after Uncanny X-Men #350. I never found a copy of UXM #350. I still haven’t! But I did eventually read it on Unlimited.

Being in TV show fandoms also had similar challenges. Was the show you were watching still on the air? No? Then you’d better hope you could find it in reruns, or know someone who had tapes of it that they could copy for you, otherwise you weren’t watching that show. It was, I think, pretty common for people to be in fandoms for shows they hadn’t seen, because they had no way to see the show, but they loved all the fanfic. The Sentinel had a whole lot of fans like that, both because I think it took a while for it to end up in reruns and because overseas distribution was probably poor. So you’d get people who read the fic and wrote fic based on the other fic they’d read, which meant that you got massive, massive amounts of fanon appearing that people just assumed was in the show because it was a weirdly specific detail that appeared in someone’s fic once. Like “Jim and Blair’s apartment has a small water heater” (not actually canonical) or “Blair is a vegetarian” (there’s an episode where his mother visits and IIRC cooks him one of his favorite meals, which is beef tongue).

Like, I was in The Professionals fandom for years. I read all the fic. I hadn’t seen the show. As far as I know, it never aired in the US, and it certainly never had any kind of US VHS or DVD release. I’d seen a couple songvids. I eventually saw a couple episodes in maybe 2003, and that was because my dad special-ordered a commercial VHS tape from the UK and paid someone to convert it from PAL to NTSC. I didn’t get to see the whole show until several years later when I got a region-free DVD player someone in fandom sent me burned copies of the UK DVD releases and then I special-ordered the commercial release of the DVDs from the UK myself. But if I were a new fan and wanted to watch Pros right now? It is on YouTube! For free!

I think also one of the things about fandom that’s not immediately evident to new fans is the way in which it is permanent and/or impermanent. There are probably people whose first fannish experience is on Tumblr or who only read fanfic on FFN and who have no idea what they would do if either site, say, just shut down. But if you’ve been in fandom a while, you’ve been through, say, Discord, Tumblr, Twitter, Pillowfort, Imzy, DW, JournalFen, LJ, GeoCities, IRC, mailing lists. And sure, if Tumblr closed, it would be inconvenient. But fandom would pack up and move somewhere else. You would find it again. It would, eventually, be okay. Similarly, if you’ve been in a lot of fandoms, if you’ve made a lot of friends, drifting through fandoms is like that. You’ll make a friend in 1998 because you were in the same fandom, and then you might go your own ways, and ten years later you might be in another fandom with them again! It happens.

But the flip side of that is that I think a lot of older fans have learned not to trust in the permanence of any particular site. If you like a story, you save it as soon as you read it. If you like a piece of art, you save it. If you like a vid, you save it. Because you don’t know when the site it’s on will be gone for good. I have, like, twenty years of lovingly-curated fanfic. And I feel like people who have only been in fandom since AO3 existed might not understand how much AO3 is a game-changer compared to what we had before. It’s a site where you can put your fic up and you don’t have to worry that the webhost is going out of business, or that the site might delete your work because they don’t allow gay fiction or explicit fiction or fiction written in second person or fiction for fandoms where the creator doesn’t like fanfiction, or whatever. Because all of those things have absolutely happened. But, I mean, I still save pretty much everything I like, even on AO3, just in case.

So, basically, yeah, fandom is a whole lot more accessible than it used to be. I think fandom is pretty much still fandom, but it’s a lot easier to get into, and that has made it way more open to people who wouldn’t have been able to be in fandom before. There is so, so much more now than there ever was before, and I think that’s great.

#Anonymous #replies

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lunarticxenia · 3 years

Text

The Sun Signs

Hi guys! So I decided to make a series. I’m going to do: each sign in each planet, each house placement for every planet, and the aspects for all the planets. This of course is going to be over the course of a month; it’s going to take a while to cover everything LMAO. I’m thinking of doing this and alternating between asteroids, “placements that make people ____”, and astrology observations. Without further ado, here’s my take on the sun signs based off of people I know:

🪁 Aries: These people are go-getters and know what they want when they want it. I feel like a lot of people associate Aries with being extroverts because they’re a fire sign, but I know ALOT of Aries and 95% of them have been shy. It’s more of the Aries moons that I’ve noticed that have been more extroverted. However other aspects in your chart can determine this. They’re also extremely competitive and very hard workers. Every Aries I’ve ever met has worked their ass off, and they keep working their asses off until they perfect everything. Some negatives are that Aries people can be super dramatic as well, and don’t take other people’s advice. Even when they ask for it, if their mind is set on something, there’s no going back.

🪁 Taurus: Boy oh boy, do these people just want to go on a 10 year vacation and not have to deal with anyone ever again. These people love the finer things in life; they most likely have a creative hobby or have a creative streak. They also love good food and they love a good nap. Now everyone says Tauruses are super chill, and honestly, it depends on other aspects in their chart. I’ve known super chill Tauruses and super chaotic Tauruses. I’ve noticed the chaotic Tauruses have a lot of Aries energy in their chart i.e. Aries Mercury and Aries Mars (no offense Aries). I’d say a downside of Tauruses is that they can be lazy because they love to relax (however this depends on other aspects) and they can be apathetic a lot. I’ve found that Tauruses can very much disconnect themselves from a situation when they have to, so they can keep calm and grounded.

🪁 Gemini: These people are social and will talk for hours. I don’t mean this in a bad way. Even the more introverted Geminis, once you get to know them they will talk for days especially about things they’re passionate about. I think it’s a cute and endearing trait. A lot of people hate on Geminis, but I don’t get it. One of my best friends is a Gemini, and she’s the most genuine person I’ve ever met. In fact, most Geminis I’ve met have not been two-faced, at least from my experience. I think that Geminis are also very funny, every Gemini I’ve met has made me laugh my ass off. Every single one. They have a great sense of humor and a very engaging personality. You can see this with Gemini politicians, they’re very charismatic and know how to entertain a crowd. I’d say the more negative side of Gemini is that they can be very flighty about what they want and while they’re social, they’re not always the best communicators when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

🪁 Cancer: I’ve found that Cancers are either extremely extroverted or extremely introverted; and this can change depending on their mood LMAO. I can speak from experience; I am a Cancer. Sometimes I feel like being social and talking; other times I hate people and I just don’t wanna deal with them. Cancers also always have a softness to them; even if they have a lot of fire energy. I don’t know how to describe it other than they just look like water itself. I’d say some obvious downsides of Cancer are that they can be extremely moody and they can be snippy. If you catch them in the wrong mood, they’ll snap at you. I’m guilty of this as well.

🪁 Leo: Again, a lot of people don’t like Leos but I love them. The Leos I’ve met have not been self centered at all- in fact they’re the exact opposite. Perhaps it’s the underdeveloped Leo suns who are self-centered, but all the ones I’ve met have always put others before themselves. They’re not cocky at all. I’ve also found that Leos all have really nice hair; this is a stereotype that’s definitely true. I’ve never met a Leo with bad hair. I’ve also found that they’re super creative and even if they don’t have a creative hobby, they have a creative flair. They’re also REALLY funny. I feel like they’re definitely slept on in terms of funny placements. This is the sign that rules “performing” in a way, so of course they’re going to be entertaining.

🪁 Virgo: My favorite sign. I love all the signs in their own way, but Virgo is my favorite. Every single Virgo I’ve met I’ve loved. I get along so well with them. Virgos are shit on for being critical but it’s because they know that the people in question can achieve so much. Virgos also save that critical energy for themselves and can tear themselves apart if they’re not perfect. These people are also always putting others before themselves and always try to help everyone. Remember the 6th house rules one’s sense of usefulness. They feel that if they’re not being useful in some way to people that they’re not good enough. I literally just want to hug every Virgo. Also they’re not boring at all. FOH. Virgos are literally so much fun.

🪁 Libra: These people are just so likable. No matter what they do, you just tend to like them for some reason. They can adapt to any type of personality and they have a way of making everyone like them. This is why Libra suns tend to be popular; they’re very bubbly and sociable. Even if they’re not popular, they’re well-liked. However, this can be their downfall as well. They can be superficial and fake. They tend to flip flop in arguments alot, and they try to play on both sides which can create more tension between two people. Also, have you ever seen a Libra try to make a decision? LMAO. Love them though.

🪁 Scorpio: Your eyes. Holy fuck. You can tell if someone is a Scorpio just by the gaze in their eyes. They stare into your fucking soul. Even if their eyes are a light color, there’s always a sense of mystery and darkness to them. Despite this sense of power they give off, once you get to know them they’re literally the biggest teddy bears. Literally just go up to one and talk to them, they’ll talk to you and be all nice and happy. I’ve noticed that Scorpios just don’t like to talk about their emotions or what goes on in their heads either. They like to look strong and they don’t show their vulnerable side to just anybody. This would be one of their downfalls. They have a hard time being vulnerable and letting people in. They look fierce, but they’re sweet and just want a hug.

🪁 Sagittarius: The funniest people ever. I’ve never met a non-funny Sagittarius. I work with two of them and they have me in tears laughing. They’re also very smart and you can talk to them about anything. Even if they don’t get the best grades in school (which I rarely see, the Valedictorian and the Salutatorian were both Sagittariuses) they always have a base knowledge about everything. They’re also extremely chill and try not to take life too seriously. I’ve found that a downside of this placement is that they can be very flighty in love. They have a hard time settling down which can be difficult for someone who wants to date them. Sagittariuses crave independence and they’re usually not the relationship types. Also they have a hard time taking things seriously.

🪁 Capricorns: My guilty pleasure. I’ve dated two of them and 75% of the people I’ve liked were Capricorn suns. I feel like people overlook the appeal of Capricorns. Scorpios are the “sexy” ones, but have you seen how attractive Capricorns can be? Remember, in Tarot, the Devil rules Capricorn, so they can be devilishly handsome or darkly beautiful. Even if they’re not the most attractive person in the room, they have an aura to them that’s intriguing. They speak softly and carry a big stick. They don’t have to impress anyone; they know that they’re powerful. I’d say some downsides to Capricorns are that they have a hard time expressing their emotions and they tend to shove them down; which can result in them exploding later on. They also have a tendency to be arrogant, and can dish it out, but they can’t take it.

🪁 Aquariuses: My second guilty pleasure. I just love the Saturn energy, what can I say? Aquariuses are such lovable weirdos. I don’t know how else to describe them. Every single one I’ve met has been unique in some way and they don’t try to fit in either. They’re proud of being different. My boss is an Aquarius and I felt self conscious one day because I had a different color shirt on than everyone else and he told me “Why would you want to fit in when you could stand out?”. They’re those types of people. They’re also really funny as well, their minds just work so differently from everyone else. They’ll say the most outlandish things and you’ll die laughing. Some downsides? You could know them for years and you’ll just find out things about them. They don’t share things about themselves and it’s hard to get to know them. They also can be very emotionally cold. They don’t like emotions.

🪁 Pisces: Softies. They’re literally soft teddy bears. No matter how big or tall or muscular they could get, you just look into their eyes and that softness is there. They’re really sweet and tend to be more introverted. They aren’t the types who go out of their way to talk to strangers at a party. They love comfort and they like to feel secure. They’re also very dreamy if that makes sense. They always look like they came out of a fantasy world. I’d say a major downside would be that they’re overly sensitive. They cannot take a joke. I remember I was telling my co worker who’s a Pisces about the negative traits of Pisces and one of them was lazy; and he got SO offended. He was like “I am NOT lazy.” LMAO.

Also guys, as I’ve said, other things in your natal chart can affect these traits. For the next asteroid by the way, I’m between asteroid Bellona and Lilith. Which one would you guys want to see? I’ve been getting a lot of questions about those two. :)

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thefoldedbird · 2 years

Text

Alright fuckers, strap in. We’re going for a ride.

Sangheili biology and my assumptions about what those qualities mean.

The Sangheili (Elites) only have a top jaw. And as far as I’ve observed they don’t have tongues. However, observable doesn’t mean shit when it comes to biology. Depending on “how canon” you see the books, the Sangheili allegedly store their tongues in their throats. The tongue also stretches as far out as their “lips”.

This denotes a possible lack of a gag reflex but we’re going to set that aside for now. Just settle for the mental image that the Sangheili are capable of swallowing large prey whole.

Instead of a bottom jaw the Sangheili use the mandibles as a substitute. These mandibles are full of rows of sharp teeth. Due to the number of teeth I’m going to make a safe assumption that Sangheili teeth regrow constantly. This may or may not be the same case for the teeth they have on their upper jaw.

These mandibles are also required for speech, but possibly not all that strongly. And obvious example being Rtas (Shipmaster), who speaks clearly despite the damage to both of his left mandibles.

Given the tongue is stored in the throat, the lack lips, and the lack of a lower jaw, I believe it’s also safe to assume that Sangheili have a much much more complicated set of vocal cords that partially rely on the mandibles for manipulation.

Due to the comparative extra load the throat has to bear their throats are likely extremely strong and thick muscled. Not as easy to cut through as you might assume.

Sangheili legs are digitigrade. This leg style gives them advantages in speed and energy recovery/conservation when running. However, it also decreases their balance. I wouldn’t outright say it is easy to knock them over, but it is easier than someone with plantigrade legs.

Also, I’ve seen the opinion that the Sangheili have scales but…

That doesn’t look like scales to me. Sure, they have those protrusions peppering their head, but outright calling them scales seems incorrect. They seem more like spines or keratin deposits. Perhaps their skin functions like tortoises, scaly in some areas but leathery in others.

Just for a last bit of fun I did a bit of light reading about whether or not the Sangheili have any serious advantages on us due to having two thumbs. My general understanding has come to that: they would if their thumbs weren’t symmetrical.

In order for two thumbs to actually be useful, as there are animals with that double thumb structure, the thumbs need to be specialized for different tasks.

As always, this kind of thing is totally open for discussion. If I’m canonically wrong, please correct me. I’d love to learn and improve. Also headcanons, if you’ve got one that fits this kind of post. Please share! I’d love to hear it!

#Sangheili #halo #elites #arbiter #thel vadam #alien biology #fictional biology #biology headcanons #long post #…I always get sucked into the science side of aliens #first it was the predator mouths and throats #and now it’s the Sangheili’s turn #lol #there’s no escape #please share your theories #I’d love to talk about them #infinite

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lokiskitten · 3 years

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Hey! I wanted to make a request to Loki consoling the reader after a bad day or because she was unsure of her body.

(I'm sorry if there is something wrong, I'm Brazilian and I'm using the translator! lol)

Loki Laufeyson | pretty little thing

( Thor 2011 ) Loki x fem!reader

author’s note : hey! I’m pretty sure I can work something out ;) I hope you’ll enjoy it!

plot : you encounter Loki into the great hall after a long day of work, and the boy tries his best to make you feel better about yourself and your body.

warnings : super duper cute baby loki !1!1!1

Fitting into Asgard’s society turned out to be harder than you thought, and that no matter how much efforts you decided to put on display alongside the help of your fellow Asgardian mates. This was a process every single teenager who had grown in Odin’s court had to go through, which was absolutely necessary if you wished to remain part of the king’s close surroundings. But through time, you couldn’t help but start to think that you maybe didn’t belong in this place. Luxury and good manners wasn’t something you were particularly looking forward to, as you had always believed that it was simply too boring for your eccentric self.

As the group was making its way back to the chambers, you jumped on the opportunity in order to discreetly gain the balconies where you knew you’d be able to find a nice moment of rest. The cold air collided with your skin, making your hair fly back at a rather soothing pace. Your elbows reached out for the balcony’s barrier, body leaning against the fence as your eyelids shut close in an attempt to seek for peace. The silence remained extremely enjoyable until a familiar voice smoothly resonated through your ear. Your eyelids opened again, head tilting to the side as your orbs landed onto the familiar silhouette which was Loki’s, one of odin’s sons.

“Seeking for an escape?” He questioned, his body slowly nearing you as if he was afraid that he would accidentally scare you off. His green eyes pierced right into yours, head tilting lightly as he waited for an answer. A smile appeared on your lips, head nodding as you allowed your body to twist towards him. “Yeah, I guess you could call it that.” You responded before focusing your eyesight onto the beautiful Asgardian horizon again. Just like you, Loki leant against the barrier as his green orbs scanned the landscapes. Though, the usually talkative young man couldn’t help but start conversing again.

“I can sense that something is bothering you.” He notified, head tilting towards your silhouette which he couldn’t cease to admire. A sigh escaped your lips, surprised that a man such as Loki would care about the way you felt. You knew about his reputation, though you had never seemed to figure out why people would make such a big deal out of who he was. To you, he seemed nice and soothing. “It’s nothing really. Just girly bothers.” You explained, which actually made him chuckle. Loki couldn’t help but think that it was ridiculous for you to get upset over such things if it was the case.

“What? It’s true.” You added face to how he wasn’t taking your secretive problems seriously. His brows raised innocently, head shaking from left to right in a denying manner. “I never said it wasn’t.” Loki responded calmly, gentle smile forming onto his lips. “Now, tell me more about it.” The raven haired man added, looking forward to know more about what was bothering you.

Hearing this question, your chest tightened. It had been a while since anyone worried about your mental health, and you obviously didn’t expect Loki to be the one who would do it first. Looking back towards the beautiful horizon on which the sun was setting, you finally managed to empty your chest from your worries. “It’s going to sound stupid, but.. I don’t feel like I’m fitting here. Everyone is so beautiful, so successful, and I can’t help but think that I’m never going to manage to be as a wonderful as them all.” You explained, stomach tightening as you apprehended Loki’s answer.

The young man felt shocked to hear that you both shared the same sorrow, which consisted in fear of failure and sadness face to the fact that you didn’t necessarily fit in. His head nodded, waiting for you to be done talking so that he could add his personal comment to the discussion. “Well.. I’ve seen you in action. I think you look wonderful. Better than most of those people out there.” He responded respectfully, green orbs scanning your face which he had always admired. A chuckle escaped your lips. “Oh come on, you don’t have to say that.” You replied, face turning towards his in order to make eye contact.

Again, Loki’s eyebrows frowned, the man not being able to understand why you doubted him so much. But after second thoughts, he suddenly remembered about the fact that he was classified as the god of mischief. “I’m only speaking the truth. For once.” Loki affirmed, insisting on creating a form of complicity between the two of you. Your smile faded away, soul strangely acknowledging his little move. “Unfortunately it’s going to take more than that.” You ended up responding, looking away and causing Loki’s heart to fill with sorrow and disappointment.

“Let me guess.. you also feel insecure about the way you look?” Loki stated confidently, though remained far from making fun of you for it. Your eyes widened, your entire being wondering how the demigod had managed to guess about your insecurities. “How would you-“ you began, soon being cut off by Loki’s chuckle. “It’s a classic. Teenage girls and their body, you know? Boys feel it too.” He explained wisely, leaning against the fence with the help of one of his elbows as the rest of his body counted onto this support.

Your eyes rolled to the sky, head shaking gently as you tried your best to keep your attitude face to his annoying confidence. Seeing how you had decided to remain silent, Loki jumped on this occasion to talk a little bit further. “I believe your body looks ravishing. I mean, it’s not like I ever got to see it, but if the occasion showed, I’d be more than grateful to give in..” he purred seductively, earning nothing but a stern look coming from you which clearly stood as a negative answer face to his hidden proposition. Awkwardly, the god of mischief nodded his head before turning back towards the horizon. “Alright, got it.” He spoke lowly whilst rubbing his palms together.

I tried! I’m honestly best at smut no cap LMAO. But it’s nice to write about different stuff once in a while. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment or a request! Love y’all💜

#Loki Laufeyson #Loki Laufeyson imagine #Loki Laufeyson fanfic #Loki Laufeyson fluff #Loki Laufeyson smut #loki laufeyson x you #loki laufeyson x reader #baby Loki Laufeyson #Loki #Asgard #thor odinson #Asgard imagine #Tom Hiddleston #Tom Hiddleston imagine #Tom Hiddleston fanfic #Tom Hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston x you

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