#working to the detriment of his own health feels very right for him. to me at least

[shibuiking]

#i havent been drawing at all lately the rotting is getting worse (literally i have a tooth Issue) #this is all i got this week #orikan the diviner #necrons #40k #i wish drawing didnt need as much motivation as it does man. its so hard #i dont think i drew it well since i covered up the other side too bt in my head hes also. doesnt take care of himself #so thin to the point of it looking worrying #working to the detriment of his own health feels very right for him. to me at least #i actually rly like drawing this too w flagellant darkest dungeon... so shaped and sharp

[mvrtaiswriting]

Law x one sliding their hand into the other’s hair slowly

this is it guys.. the last post for the kissing event. ironically enough, this will get its own post as it was request by dms by the lovely @whateversitsyourchair. this is absolutely one of my favourite piece of writing. I love writing for Law, it brings out the best of me; he makes me so emotional, honestly. it feels so good to round it off with this workpiece, it was one hell of a ride. thank you to all of you for appreciating my work, trusting me with your request and having fun with this event. Sorry this is long-ish.. I. hope you'll enjoy it. as always, do let me know what you think.. love you lots guys, thank you so much! <333

sfw; mention of insomnia, a bit emotional ngl.

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee. - from this event.

It was one of those nights again, for Law. His whole crew was asleep whilst he laid wide awake on his bed, staring at the ceiling unable to get any sleep. He was a doctor, he knew how detrimental this was for his health - but nightmares always kept him up at night, demons from his past coming back to the surface as he vividly relived his traumatic experiences. Sighing and accepting his destiny, Law decided to get up to get some fresh air. Lucky for him, tonight was one of the rare nights in which the ship wasn't hiding in the depths tf the ocean - and he had to admit it was nice. Grabbing his favourite book, he made his way to the deck of the ship - looking forward to let the ocean's wave whisper in his hears; it was the only thing that brought him peace.

Finally reaching the deck, he was surprised to see you there too. Moving sneakingly and avoiding making any type of sound, he laid his back against the door and took a brief moment to observe you. The moonlight caressed your features gracefully - and Law could have sworn you have never been more beautiful, almost ethereal. He wondered what kept you up at night, what was hunting you so much you couldn't sleep. Law knew how hard insomnia was, he has suffered with it for his whole life - and he didn't wish that upon any living soul. Most importantly, you. How did he never notice? The signs of sleep deprivation are obvious and visible, especially on him - his dark under-eyes could be spotted from miles away. But you always looked flawless, a pearl amongst all the delirium that characterised his life. As your doctor, he wished he had done better. But as Law, just Law, he was happy you were there. The selfish version of him, the one he never showed you, was cherishing your company in silence. There was no one else he would have wanted to share the darkness of the night with, and he couldn't help but wonder if you would have been okay with the darkness of his heart too.

Taking a deep breath, he cleared his throat to make his presence known and finally took a big step towards you.

"Trouble sleeping?" he asked, sitting right next to you and giving you a soft smile. You nodded in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Law's muscles stiffened for a second, before relaxing once again and enjoying the warm feeling you brought to his body.

"It would have been a shame to sleep anyway. It so rare to get to see the night sky." you answered, tilting your heads up to take a better look at your captain.

Law hummed in response, lifting his head up to admire the starring sky above you.

"You're right." he admitted, sliding an hand around your back, pulling you closer to his body and carelessly resting his hand on your hips. Law's hugs were always subtle, almost casual - but they were the best, strangely comforting despite the careless appearance of his gestures.

You have grown used to this type of affectionate touches. The way he would place his hands on your lower back whenever you walked right in front of him, the way he sometimes wrapped his pinky finger around yours while wondering around a new island, the forehead kisses he gave you every time he wished you goodnight. These little moments always happened away from the crew's eyes, most of the time at least. The two of you have been caught a few times holding hands or sitting next to each other - and that, of course, made the rest of your cremate suspicious. They knew better than that - Law wasn't the type to be so extroverted, nor the type to particularly enjoy closeness or physical touch. Yet, he always looked for all this things whenever he was around you - and it would be a lie to say you didn't like it; you have loved him since the very first day you joined the crew. But you knew Law wasn't the exactly the emotional type, it was almost impossible to imagine a future for the two of you.

However years passed by and your captain became your best friend, midnights became your afternoon and without even realising it, Law slowly let you crawl inside the walls that protected his heart. He told you about his past and about his deepest scars - and although he did that superficially, it was the closest someone ever got to him. Every time he shared something with you, a sudden fear creeped into his heart; he didn't want to scare you away. He wanted you to see the best part of him yet all he could ever show was the dark side of his moods.

The intimacy that now characterised your relationship scared Law. His heart ached for closure and moments like this, but he was scared of feeling new emotions. Happiness, joy, love - were all things he knew once and that life abruptly took away from him, leaving a painful void in his soul that somehow, you were slowly filling again. You were the reason behind his genuine smiles, you made his heart beat faster than anything before - with you, he felt alive. Life was slowly start to have a new meaning, something that was worth fighting for.

"Hey." he finally whispered, breaking the silence between the two of you. You simply hummed in response, waiting for him to continue.

"What are we?" he asked, gulping loudly as if he was trying to keep the lump in his throat under control. "Why do we do this?" he asked, slowly raising his hand up to your neck, letting his fingers playing with your hair.

Placing an hand on your captain's chest, you kept silent for a second, trying to find the right words. Was this his way to tell you he reciprocated your feelings? Did he want to call it quits? Your heart was pounding in your chest, analysing everything the two of you shared, trying to find an answer to your question.

"Just tell me you love me." he whispered again, his voice now shaking. "that's all that I need to hear." he continued, looking way from you as tears started to lightly cloud his vision. This was the most vulnerable he had ever been in ages.

Your muscles tensed up, feeling as if a lighting had just hit you. A million different emotions flooded your mind; it was heartbreaking to see Law like this - but at the same time, you were oh, so happy. The dreams you had about this exact moment weren't even close to how you felt right now.

Finally coming to your senses, you gently placed your hand on Law's cheek. Running your thumb against his skin, you finally leaned towards him, placing a soft, timid kiss on his lips.

"I have loved you since the first time your eyes met mine, dummy." you whispered, your lips still brushing against his before the biggest smile formed on your face.

Law looked at you for a second, feeling stunned by everything that just happened. Lifting his eyebrow in surprise, a surprised laugh escaped his lips. "Really?" he asked, his tone slightly higher than normal.

You quickly nodded in response, and before you could even realise it, Law's lips were pressed onto yours once again. The kiss you shared was passionate, and hungry, and emotional. You could feel Law taking deep breath, letting your perfume invade of all his senses in an attempt to satiate his greed. He wanted all of you, he wanted to feel you in every way possible - he had starved himself for so long of any type of affection. He placed on of his hands at the base of your neck, letting the other slowly slide into your hair, as if he was trying to pull you even more closer to him.

Maybe sleepless nights were not that bad, after all.

#law x y/n #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law #law x you #law x reader #law x oc #law one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanart #one piece oc #one piece oneshot #one piece imagine #one piece x y/n #one piece writing #one piece #one piece luffy

[chickenparm]

Proof of Concept (Kaveh/gn!Reader)

So, I read his story leaks, had a legitimate weep over this stupid, beatiful man, then set everything to the side for a moment to crank this out. Originally it was meant to be "ha ha silly dramatics" and then it very quickly evolved into "let's explore kaveh's deep-seated abandonment issues and his skewed perception of his self-worth".

anyway, enjoy, expect more kaveh.

AO3 Link

Kaveh/gn!Reader 3,847 Words - SFW Hurt/Comfort, spiraling internal monologues about self-worth in a relationship, slight codependency, resolved angst, Kaveh cries but never in front of anyone and you can't change my mind.

Kaveh owes more to you than Dori ever could have conjured up as a debt to keep him in shackles. Yet you don’t hold him down, you don’t demand constant recompense. In fact, you never make mention at all that the betterment of his life and mental health stems from you and you alone. 

When he moved out of Alhaitham’s home and into yours, Alhaitham had a rare show of concern that to any other onlooker might have been mistaken for cruelty or unnecessary jabs. But Kaveh is well aware of Alhaitham’s thought processes, loathe as he is to admit it, and understands that Alhaitham’s question isn’t posed out of malice, but of a subtle concern for someone that had once been his friend, and now exists in a nebulous in-between. 

Are you sure it’s wise to place so much stock in them? Your trust has been misplaced before, don’t put it in the wrong place again.

Perhaps on another day, Kaveh might’ve nearly spit in Alhaitham’s face for questioning both his and your integrity. But there’s something bittersweet about standing in the doorway of this home with the knowledge that it might be his last time here as a resident. Quietly, he shuts the door rather than leaves, and asks, “It must look pathetic, doesn’t it?”

“Unbelievably so, but I figured you wouldn’t welcome such an observation.”

“But you still feel the need to make it.” Kaveh’s back thuds against the door as he leans on it, the last bag of his belongings falling to the tiled floor. “I’ve always done what I think is right. Even at the detriment to myself. So tell me, Alhaitham, what would you have me do?”

“That’s not for me to decide. You and I both know that our ways of thinking are very different.” Alhaitham could have been more roundabout in calling Kaveh an idiot, but the blond appreciates Alhaitham’s candor tonight, nonetheless. “I’m just saying, don’t be blinded by your feelings to the point of tripping into yet another difficult situation. I’m under no obligation to help you again.”

No obligation, but he probably would anyway.

“Well, I won’t haunt your humble doorstep again, in that case.”

Kaveh wouldn’t dream of asking outright, he’d simply be sitting at the breakfast table one morning with red-rimmed eyes and a despondency that Alhaitham would pointedly ignore. They’d fall into the usual routine, and Alhaitham would call back into the house to remind Kaveh of the rent that’s been overdue since the first month Kaveh moved in. 

Yes, Kaveh knows his attachment is pathetic. But a lifetime of transient relationships from the most mundane scholar down to his own parents - one more permanent than the other - leaves him with an emptiness in his chest that he’s relished and nurtured up until the very moment you came along and filled it so easily. 

Your home is empty when he returns to it later that night. If you’d been here and asked, he’d have told you the trust that he took the long way home to clear his head. And then you’d ask if he spoke with Alhaitham before leaving. Kaveh would say yes, and you’d ask no more questions because if anyone understood the weird, hot-and-cold friendship of antagonism he shares with the Scribe, it would be you. 

But you aren’t home, and these questions aren’t exchanged, because he’d been adamant he finish bringing over the last few bits of his belongings while you were still out working. I don’t want to trouble you, Kaveh all but whined when you offered to call out of work for the day, for something that would only take an hour or so at most. 

Though, his little detour cost him the majority of that hour, but it’s fine. You weren’t home, you don’t notice the pinched expression on his face as he places the last of his tools in the spare bedroom you offered him to use as his office space. Much more roomy than the corner Alhaitham had afforded him, with a spacious desk you let him pick out himself, because this was his space, in the home you now share. 

If requested, he’d drop to his knees before the Dendro Archon herself and profess his love for you. Thoughts of grand exclamations of his affections danced through his mind between memorized ratios for concrete and recollected dimensions of a particular building he’s been commissioned to renovate. 

None of those had come to fruition. One morning, when he stayed over at this very house, in the very bed across the hall, you’d rolled over and cracked your eyes open before murmuring your love for him at the time of day when honesty at its most raw. And he’d taken you into his arms all over again, clutching you to his chest and stubbornly refusing to let you go lest you see the tears welling in his eyes. 

Kaveh doesn’t cry in front of you, nor anyone else. Bottling it up is just easier. Then he can unpack things later, and truly feel the crushing weight of everything when he’s the only one that will suffer the consequences. He’s the only one that deserves to suffer through them.

It had been a long time since someone claimed any sort of affection for him, platonic or otherwise. At least in any way that felt clear and true. Sure, his mother sends letters from Fontaine, and she closes them with an obligatory sentence about how she loves her son, tucked between sentences about her new husband and how she’s found happiness again. 

Why couldn’t it have been in a place I could be, too? He wonders later at night, but then he feels you shift in his arms in the darkness of the room and doesn’t mind so much anymore. If he’d followed her to Fontaine, he never would’ve made friends with Tighnari, who never would have introduced him to you, who never would have allowed him to love with all he has. 

Kaveh’s heart had to learn to beat in new ways, to accommodate the affection you provide him, and the room he’s been given to exercise such muscles. 

One by one, he places tools on his desk and aligns them carefully according to his muscle memory. In the midst of a bout of inspiration, little time can be wasted on lifting his eyes to find the right pencil, the right scale, the right template. It’s in the midst of a focus similar to that he doesn’t hear the front door open, or quiet steps down the short hallway. 

But the corner of his eyes catch you standing in the doorway, watching him quietly with an unreadable expression. When Kaveh gives you his full attention, your mouth blooms into a familiar smile as you step into the room. “Everything go okay? Sorry I couldn’t be around to help.”

“There wasn’t much to help with.” Kaveh waves a hand, swatting away your apologies that are unwarranted. “Besides, I don’t want to-”

“-be trouble, I know.” An exasperated look crosses your face, just for a second. Kaveh’s heart clenches - he’s not fond of seeing anything on your face that isn’t happiness. He’s yet to reach the end of your patience, but everyone has a limit. It takes only one single brick for a load bearing wall to crumble. Tonight especially, he’s come to realize that the structure of his wellbeing has been carefully crafted around you as its foundation. 

Kaveh is snapped out of his thoughts as you take his hand in your own. Like surfacing from a still pool of water he hadn’t realized he’d been drowning in, Kaveh takes a sharp breath and looks at you with a smooth mix of astonishment and gratitude. The exasperation is gone, and in its place is worry. “Are you alright? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Never.” Kaveh says a little too forcefully, a little too vehement. It’s not himself he needs to convince of his adamancy for this being a good decision; he could never regret sharing a home with you and building it further. It’s you, who is suddenly looking concerned. Kaveh takes your other hand as well, his fingers lacing with yours until they’re pressed palm-to-palm. “Just silly thoughts in my head that have been plaguing me all day. Nothing for you to worry about, dear, I just need to shake them off.”

“If you’re sure…” You’re not convinced. But you don’t push, and he won’t reveal a thing until he’s ready. He only hopes that his hand won’t be forced in the form of begging you to put up with him a little longer rather than cast him to the side. Swallowing hard, he pushes those thoughts away with vicious force. You’re not leaving him, he’s done nothing wrong, the two of you are in love-

Again, he’s drawn from his head by your fingers squeezing his own comfortingly. “Then, I’ll believe you. I’m gonna make dinner, anything you want in particular? Sounds like you’ve had a hard day.”

“I’m fine with whatever’s easy for you. I’m going to be in here a little longer getting things set up, if you don’t need help.”

A shrug, a quiet agreement, and your lips pressed to his cheek saying more words than you’ve let free verbally. All he needs to do is call your name, and you’d turn right back around and listen to what’s laying heavily on his mind. But how does it go about telling you that what sits on his shoulders with the most weight is the prospect of you growing tired of him, of you realizing that there might be another out there that offers more for you than he could ever hope to?

So, Kaveh lets you go and turns back to his drafting table. Muscle memory or not, he’s realized he’s placed his tools in the wrong order anyway.

---

Kaveh expected things to feel different. 

He’s not disappointed - no, he’s actually rather happy about it all. Living with you had been something he fretted over for months before you were the one to bring it up. To be in your presence constantly was a gift for him, and you expressed the same sentiment, but there’s always a part of him gnawing away at his resolve. 

Perhaps you’re just being nice, or you don’t feel the need to tell him outright that maybe he’s a little too loud at night while working on scale models. Maybe you don’t find it necessary to reveal your annoyances when Kaveh forgets to wash his coffee cup before leaving in the morning, or when he wakes up before you and rams his shin on the edge of the bed because he doesn’t want to turn any lights on to disturb you. 

You’re disturbed anyway, but your smile is nothing but sweet and sympathetic as he stands on one leg and clutches his shin and tries to bite back his swears of both pain and frustration at himself. Honestly, it’s been weeks, he should be used to the layout even before moving in, when he stayed here often enough that it seemed the natural next step. 

When he brings up his apologies for all those made-up grievances - his loud tendencies, his infrequent scatterbrained memory in times of hurry, the growing bruise on his shin - you’re purely confused at it all. 

“I’m sorry for being so loud the other night.”

“Were you loud? Ah, Alhaitham mentioned something like that. He gave me these little squishy things to put in my ears so I can still sleep, see?”

And that’s one worry that slips away from him with only a few words from you. You’d never been upset in the first place. 

“I’ll try to remember to do my dishes before I leave.”

“Oh, your cup? I make myself breakfast and have to do my own dishes anyway. It’s okay if you leave it, I’ll get it for you.”

He still feels a little guilty when he sets the mug next to the sink, and decides on a happy medium where he rinses it out at least. There, now they both can be satisfied with the outcome, he tells himself as he stomps down the doubt beginning to creep in once more. 

As you sit with him in the bathroom after his incident with the side of the bed and his shin, you make him sit on the counter so you can observe the growing bruise. Your fingers poke and prod, and while he hisses in discomfort a few times, you’re satisfied that it at least isn’t broken in any way. “You’ll make a full recovery, my good patient.”

“So no amputations? Thank goodness, what a relief.” Kaveh’s head rolls back to really emphasize his appreciation for keeping all his limbs, and also to hide the way his cheeks flush pink and his nerves creep to the surface. You’re not normally awake at this hour, yet here you are kneeling in front of him as you return from the kitchen with an ice pack. 

The chill of it pressing to his skin makes him inhale sharply, and your laughter fills the bathroom as you look far too mischievous for that to have been a mistake. “Guess you didn’t hear my warning. Whoops!”

Kaveh knows damn well you hadn’t said a word. Lost in thoughts or not, he’s got enough presence of mind to keep an iota of attention on you - Kaveh is always watching, always on the lookout for your moods, always worried that this next minor slip-up will be the one to make you realize it’s easier to disentangle yourself from him. 

Almost everyone else does.

But things fall into a rhythm as he settles into the home you now share with him. Kaveh forgets his keys once, and the next time he finds a spare key tucked into the eaves of the house without a word of admonishment on your part. You come home late from work one evening and he’s made your favorite dinner and washed up the dishes. 

And a new project is breaking ground and requiring him to be out later than usual, more often than not. By the time he gets home, you’re fast asleep, leftovers in the fridge for him if he’s hungry. Even if he isn’t, he eats them anyway, if only because you put the effort into thinking of him. Kaveh only hopes you hadn’t been waiting up for him. 

Tentatively, he closes the bedroom door and leans on it. You’re curled around his pillow, your face buried in the fabric as you fell asleep while inhaling his scent. His heart clenches, panic creeping in at the thought of you going to bed alone and pining for him while he was miles away working. 

Kaveh should have been here. He should have been firm that he wasn’t going to stay late at the site, so he could return home to his partner and ensure that they’re happy, and laughing, and not lonely in the slightest. Precedence should’ve been given to you, because you’ve always given it to him. He’s been unbelievably selfish and self-centered, and only realized it when it was just a little too-

“Kaveh…?” Your voice breaks through, mired with your leftover sleep as you break from a dream and look at him through cracked eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Everything, he wants to say, and it’s my fault.

The light catches on his jaw as he chews his cheek, and your eyes zero in from across the room. A nervous tick, something he does when he’s stalling for time and thinking of an answer that he thinks is going to be the most diplomatic. Yet he’s never needed to be that way with you, he’s supposed, and under your scrutiny he quietly cracks. 

The bed dips under him as he disrobes and climbs beneath the sheets. Rather than push you out of his space meant for him to sleep in, he simply winds himself into the empty spaces left amongst your limbs until his chest is pressed to your back in a perfect curve. Nowhere ever feels as right as when he’s pressed against you. The only time his heart feels as if it’s beating at a proper tempo is when it’s perfectly matching yours. 

And the thought of losing this, of having ruined things with thoughtless actions makes his lungs feel too shallow to pull in a full breath of air. They shudder with the effort, stinging just as much as his eyes as he buries his face into the crook of your neck and hopes to every Archon listening that you don’t feel the dampness on your skin from his overwhelming feelings. 

Kaveh flinches as your hand comes to rest on his forearm winding around your waist. The tips of your fingers trace along his skin, along silvery scars you’ve memorized from that accident so long ago that had been so detrimental to him mentally, rather than physically. Beneath the pads of your fingers, they’re less obtrusive, even after years of smoothing via the passage of time. 

Biting his tongue, Kaveh holds his breath to avoid the quake of his body as it attempts to breathe in and then let it all out in a harsh sob. You don’t need this, you don’t need to know why he’s desolate, even if it’s because of you. Desperately, he wants to keep you close, to show that he can do better if you’ll only give him another chance, and another, and another…

“Kaveh, darling, why are you crying?” Your voice has more clarity now; you hadn’t gone back to sleep after he took you into his arms. Kaveh should’ve figured that, and he self-admonishes that it would be awfully difficult to remain asleep if your lover was clinging to you and wetting your skin with their tears. 

How does he begin to tell you what he’s feeling? Of all the seminars and lectures he’d been to during his time in the Akademiya, a fair few of them began with a question for the audience. It’s as good a tactic as any, and he pulls away to wet his lips and grimace at the salt gathered there from his tears. Quietly, he poses the question, “Are you going to leave me?”

Anyone else would have responded with an outburst. A demand to explain what he’s talking about, how he’s come to that conclusion, why they’re being accused of that. But a quiet sigh leaves you as your fingers continue their trail along the skin of his arms. It’s not a denial, not at first, and his breath starts to pick up before you adeptly calm him with only a few words. 

“I knew something was going on in that pretty head of yours.” You don’t turn to look at him, affording him a bit of privacy when you could’ve easily looked him in the eye and put him on the spot. Kaveh leans heavily against you, burying his face in your neck once more to take in whatever comfort he can glean from you before you let him down. It would only be your right, of course. 

Your hand stops, instead wrapping around his wrist, to pull it from your body. When his hand is freed, you lace your fingers together and squeeze hard. The sharp sting makes him inhale, clears his thoughts for just a moment so he can fully listen as you say, “I’ll never leave you, Kaveh. But I need you to tell me what brought this one on.”

The wording is precise; this isn’t the first time. It can be attributed to a myriad of things, but they all can be boiled down to their base level of definition. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Says who? You?” It’s a bit biting, but that’s what he needs right now, he knows. Softness lets him slip away, lets him dig deep into his woes and wrap them tightly to the point of strangulation. Only a firm hand is enough to keep him grounded in the moment, to keep him listening to what you have to say. “Kaveh, there’s only one person who gets to decide who deserves me, and that’s me. And there’s no one else that I’d rather love than you. I’m not going to leave you, even if you want me to. You’re stuck with me.”

Stuck. As if you were the burden, not the one in this relationship that shoulders the majority of burdens. Kaveh lets out a quivering sigh, one that breezes across your skin amongst the wetness left there, chilling to the point of goosebumps. “I love you. I just feel like I don’t give you everything that you need, or deserve. The entire world is just out of my grasp.”

“I feel rather fulfilled without the whole world, thank you.” Sass seeps through, your fingers tightening around his own briefly before you shift back further against him. The gesture emphasizes your adamancy as you say rather plainly, “Excess is just that. I don’t need anything more than what you’re already giving me - your love, and companionship. Seeing you happy is all I want, Kaveh. Are you happy with me?”

“Unbelievably so, that’s why I’m terrified that you’re not. It would be so easy for you to just… cut loose and count your losses-”

“Easy for whom? Certainly not for me, because losing you would be something I’d never fully recover from.” The hand not holding his reaches up to tangle in his hair for a moment, fingers pushing hair behind his ear in a blind, clumsy movement that he leans into on instinct. Your voice is lower and even as you remind him of a simple fact that he often overlooks in his moments of weakness. “I love you. You mean everything to me.”

The tension in his shoulders eases, the tightness of his jaw loosens so he can feel the ache of his teeth from the pressure. He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been wound until you deftly untangle him with so little effort. The tremble of his voice is unmistakable as a fresh wave of tears come, this time in relief. “I love you, too. So much that it hurts. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably the same as me, which is ‘be a disaster’. We’re better together, Kaveh. There’s nothing you could do that would make me love you any less.” 

A sharp whoosh of air leaves you as his arms suddenly wind tight, abandoning your hand in favor of simply clinging to you with all the strength he can muster. 

Kaveh expected things to feel different. And they do, bit by bit. It’s a work in progress, a first draft, a proof of concept as the two of you build toward something safe and wonderful. In the morning, he’ll drink his coffee and hold your words close enough that the heat and pressure will burn them into the fibers of his beating heart, meant only for you. 

#kaveh #kaveh x reader #kaveh genshin #genshin kaveh #gn reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #pretty self-indulgent ngl #but you'll have a good time

[cryopathiic-a]

 “ i’m  the  only  thing  inside  of  you  that  you  can’t  control. “

A sigh of frustration.

The view of the skyline beneath is what you pay for in this place. Because, all things considered, between the awful waiters ( all men? really? the passionate advocate for women's rights within Dōma is simmering with anger! ) and the lack of music ( which prompts more conversation; and Muzan-sama has only been focusing on one topic ) does not justify these prices! But... it is the perfect scenery for romance; taken straight out of a movie — which is the only idea of what it means to be romantic either of them has. A cheap imitation of human tastes. It's preposterous, at best.

But it was beautiful. It had been beautiful, for a moment, there; the two of them, with muffled city noise in the distance, a beautiful moon rivaling the lights, fingers intertwined over the table, looking into each other's eyes — resembling those happy endings he never quite understands and she always pretends not to like...

And of course, greed being what brings these two together, she had to go and spoil it. And place her demands again, for them to make it official — which is far from her endgoal and they both know it. She just wants more contracts to bind him by. To control; to yank on his leash when she feels threatened. Well, that's just not happening. He isn't looking to wear the old ball and chain any time soon; especially not with this one for a wife, which, apart from unethical ( who marries their own boss!? ) would be detrimental for his mental health ( a term he recently discovered and has been religiously abusing to get his way ever since )

So she led the subject there and he, of course, reiterated that firm 'we'll talk about later', which leads them to here and now. And one is looking to a swift fall from the restaurant rooftop, if her expression upon being denied is any telling. Prismatic eyes seek an escape in that beautiful panorama.

❝ Why do you never tell me things like that in bed. ❞ A much more appropriate time. Because now she's driving his mind places; and then she will be the one complaining that he's not taking it seriously.

Which, by all means, he isn't.

It should be blatantly clear by now that unless she resorts to an unprecedented degree of violence, she is not getting her way here. His hands withdraw from hers and instead splay open over her untouched plate.

❝ Look, I'm sorry, I get it, we're out, the night is lovely, you look positively delicious tonight; it's just the perfect setup to discuss it. I understand why you're bringing it up here, but, I just wish we could spend one night in the present and not the future, you know? Is it that irrational to ask for some simple time with you? Doing nothing else, except you; all of you. ❞ He returns his gaze to her, another weapon deployed alongside the saccharine smile and the way his cheek presses to his own shoulder with a cutesy cant of the head. Hey, if you're looking to placate the devil herself, you ought to, at the very least, act a little cute to get your way.

❝ Besides, I don't think you want to talk about it now, either. I think you're just a bit nervous because of the election and all... well, it makes sense that you'd want to go back to working on your vengeance as soon as possible. But can't that be tomorrow? Do you really want to discuss PR when we're out for dinner at a place like this? Wouldn't you rather be kissing me? ❞

#(( slippery antics for u )) #(( dont make him jump from the rooftop fr fr )) #♛ ¦ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇꜱ༺ answered #fallesto #♥ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ꜱʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʙᴏx ᶠᵗ. ᴸᵒʳᵈ ᴹᵘᶻᵃⁿ | fallesto ♥ #𝚅 𝟶𝟼. ⟅ i have been here as i am a thousand times ⟆

[mechanicalwilds]

((Ok I need to write this ramble I've been thinking of or I'm going to like. Explode lol. I've been working on this on and off for a few hours so bear with me.

Character rambles under the cut))

Kel is such a mess offscreen and like.. that never really gets shown and I think only a couple of my friends who I've talked to ooc really know about it!

Like

Kel's always been a "I'm going to make the best of this" kind of guy, right? But it's not like.. it's not good for him! At all! Like at all. Ok? Basically since he was rezzed he's been off trying to help with solar-system-ending level shit. He was a year old when Beyond Light happened which was canonically his first big mission and probably the most traumatic thing to ever happen to him ever. But that's like, that's fine that's whatever.

But it's not fine because like, as much as he's a relatively stable and level-headed person the people around him are not. Zorra and him have a very close sibling-like relationship but she's still getting her wings, and he feels like he needs to protect her from getting hit by all the heavy bullshit that's out there all at once. And oh geez Ambra.. following her around since he was rezzed has not done any favors. Imprinting the "we just have to keep going no time to dwell" mentality on him super strongly. And on top of everything he's still trying to be the optimist, to the point where he feels like he has to because everyone around him is hurting so much, they need something stable to fall back on.

(Now don't get me wrong I completely love these dynamics he has?? I think it's so fun and interesting to see how things pass down through these characters!)

This has had like... a lot of effects on him, down to what abilities he favors. He used to run Void for a long time. I don't think it's a surprise to anyone that coming back from the dead isn't a comfortable experience; and Kel sucked at staying alive (still isn't the best at it). That plus "we just have to keep going" mentality... in his early days he was basically drawing his strength from his own repeated dying over and over again, dwelling in that discomfort and it really was. Not good, mentally. He habitually neglects the things that make him feel like a person, though less so nowadays. It took a lot for him to draw himself out of that (and the help of friends.) He still struggles with it sometimes.

Switching to stasis made things a little easier. Instead of relying on that discomfort he was relying on his own will, and in turn it made it easier not only to manage himself but to stay alive in general. He still struggles sometimes, still has to learn, but overall it's been a bit better. Stasis is about control and part of that for him is keeping himself well.

AND NOW WE HAVE STRAND which is so so extremely opposed to how he's been handling himself thus far. Strand is about letting go, going with the flow and that sort of thing, which you'd think wouldn't be that big of an issue if you take him at surface level. He's chill, goes with the punches and keeps the team at ease when things are tough, right? EXCEPT when you factor in the traits he has under the surface. His whole life as a Guardian has been about either restriction or micro-managing himself. Suddenly needing to let go has proved to be more of a challenge than he anticipated, because it strikes so harshly against a lot of what he's built up in order to be able to take care of himself and those around him.

I've kinda lost track of where i was going with all this, you know how these can get. Kelsey is my sweet boy that cares so much it ends up being a detriment to him and he doesn't know where to stop even for his own health. And he's never gonna show it on the surface because Traveler forbid those he needs to be strong for see him crack under the pressure.

#ooc #pebble rambles #i am picking him up and shaking him around #i love kel so much and everyone else needs to know how big of a mess he is #it sucks i havent been as motivated to write him

[ozmarig]

A glimpse of the royal life

Spare by Prince Harry My rating: 5 of 5 stars I read this and listened to the audiobook at the same time, which made for a more engaging experience. Prince Harry's voice came out very clearly, even through the written words. Kudos to his ghost writer, who captured the essence of his personality. I do not know much about Harry as I do not follow the escapades of the royal family, but I have heard snippets of his naughty scrapes in his youth. Prior to reading this book, to me, he was a privileged boy who does humanitarian work. How much and how involved, I had no idea. I must have had expectations, because the book disarmed me. The first part was about his childhood, especially right after his mother died, and how he coped with the pain and trauma of it. It brought me to tears as Harry's suffering reminded me of my own son's behaviour (who lost his father at 5years old). The second part was about his adulthood, and Harry was very honest and raw about his weaknesses, his mistakes, the coping mechanism he employed, and the salvation he found in the army. He was also very consistent with his loathing against the British media, his frustration at not being able to fight back, or at least the way the institution (his family and their minders) prevented him. Here, Harry was a frustrated, traumatised young man trying to find a way (any way, even temporary ones) to alleviate the pain, and to survive the restricted life he was forced into as a royal, including being the target of vitriol based on lies. He debunked more than a few of the stories written about him in the British tabloids. And confirmed a few basic truths. It was a really clever move as the media can no longer use those to make up stories about him. The third part was about his meeting Meghan and their life together. And what they went through. This was heart-wrenching. And my thought was, Meghan was his lifeline, the final rope that pulled him out of the golden quicksand he was neck-deep in, and into the freedom he now enjoys. At the expense of herself—her mental health, public image, and her own freedom. You can feel, almost taste, how much Harry adored his wife and kids. Maybe it was my love for romance novels, but one could not help but root for them. Their story is one of the most beautiful, torturous, and sweetest that I have every read. The book was also a study of human behaviour. About how the Royal Family operates, why they behave as they do. King Charles couldn't help what he is because he was trained to be like that, to the detriment of his sons. Especially his heir, William. Harry was the luckier one. And while there is glamour at being a royal, it is also very sad to be one. Harry and the other members of the family that were not heirs were like gold-plated, diamond-encrusted servants to the crown. It makes one think why would one even want to be born into it. A person born into a non-royal but rich family is so much better off. Harry lacked love, freedom, and money. Yes, money. Despite the net worth of the estate of the royal family, Harry was very dependent on his father's hand-outs (as most of the royals are including Charles brothers and sisters). And not because he was lazy, but because he wasn't permitted to have a career outside being a royal. His being a soldier was the only exception allowed, because it adds to the prestige of the Royal Family. King Charles was both Harry's father and employer, and the man wasn't very good in either role. Harry was a pauper underneath the princely trimmings. And Meghan was the warrior princess in a shining armour made of everything Harry didn't have but needed. She was educated, confident and free, both financially, emotionally and intellectually. And they bonded because they were made of the same empathetic heart. She came at the right time for him, when he was already restless, and finding a reason to break away. Spare was beautifully written, and Harry as the narrator for the audible file was perfect. I highly recommend it. View all my reviews

[cameronnckuntz5908]

Facts About Cavalier King Puppies

Because, really now, what's higher than Christmas AND dogs! It is subsequently better to use pure, healthful and unprocessed snacks. It's one among the best canine bike carriers to install and take away after use. Our different canine is a 4 month previous Husky Yellow Lab mix and he appears to be doing positive though he is acting a bit lethargic. I took her temp and it was normal so I saved her hydrated and she was fantastic. She is Ok when i bathe her, a bit tense however as soon as she has been in the tub for two minutes she's positive. Hi, I have two dogs - one is a Rhodesian Ridgeback X Pitbull and an Irish wolfhound X , my wolfhound is ok but flys LOVE my pittys ears, I put petroleum jelly and apple cider vinegar on him but they tend to chew anyway, I've cleaned his ears always and also used a medical repellant for horses which lasted about two hours. Sometimes I can get him to lay his head on me while I scratch him and i whisper the candy nothings one says to dogs whereas I scratch behind the ears, and that i can feel him enjoyable.

Tricolor Cavaliers have black and white our bodies with tan markings on their eyebrows, inner legs, tails, ears, and cheeks. Like people, dogs have their very own character, character traits and temperament that may pose issues when coaching. It makes me really feel bad though each time, like we aren't assembly his wants. If you discover that you have walked right into a harmful area, attempt to carry your physique aggressively, walking briskly and purposefully to an space where you will feel safer. Some have pockets and can carry your keys or wallet. Most veterinary workplaces carry ear cleaner for dogs. We all know that common saying: "Dogs are man's greatest buddy" and it's normal knowledge that they did not grow to be associates with humans overnight. This appears completely harmless, and the most effective course of action seems to be to let sleeping dogs lie here. After all, there may be much more to the very best horror games than soar scares and gore, too. The one factor I can think is he wants extra exercise.

His day: I chuck a ball as exhausting as I can with him for 10-15 min every weekday morning in between child college shuttle responsibility. He gets a brief walk across the neighborhood from a child after college is out. When the weather is good, child may hop on the bike and try this as an alternative of a stroll (Ranger is off leash for this), because it gets him more exercise and he is an important bike canine. He does this as a huge off leash dog park although, and although the back facet the place the bike trains are is much less populated with dogs, his canine-aggression is making this less and fewer of an possibility. If you are having bother with something, take a step back and give it a relaxation. But he stays for some time (having fun with or tolerating, I'm never positive) until I am not petting him enough, and eventually he will slide down and slink off, to both settle down for a nap, or go back to Urgent LOOK and whining.

When nothing works, we finally have to inform him, "GO LAY DOWN" in a agency voice and after a couple of minutes of this, he gets the purpose and settles down and stops whining. I often end with making them "keep", tossing a giant handful of tiny treats into our carpeted residing room, after which they get to hunt them all down. From time to time Batman gets a bit of too excited and needs to be ”stopped” (really wants to play) but he is so sweet with lil Mayson. His mood shall be low if you retain him locked inside with no room to run, play and enjoy nature. I earn a living from home and he loves to play along with his adopted sister (just about the very same stats on her except she has no points, may be very mellow) so really he has a pretty good life, and I would quantify the neorotic-ness as manageable and never exceedingly detrimental to his (or our) happiness. They make good travel companions. We let him out, we examine that they have been fed (children are unreliable generally), we be sure that they've water, we glance him over (he's more accident prone than his sister, gouges / torn paw pads have popped up under inspection), every thing is checked off the listing of what he might probably need and we're clueless.

#dogs

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

[ncitygirls]

belong - chan x f reader

fluff, smut, 2.8k

when your lover called on you, the bells in your heart rung. chan invited you to his home for an evening spent together in the sweet peace of the one another’s company. upon your arrival, he greeted you with pure admiration in his eyes, a youthful wonderment sweeping over him as he gazed upon your person, pulling you into his embrace where you belong.

he took your hand, dusting his lips across your knuckles as he whispered, “i missed you, love.”

“and i you.” it’s not often you admit that time spent away from chan adds painfully to your longing, this much is evidenced by his wide eyed surprise. “i have spent every second counting down until we would meet again.”

“oh?” he gasps, believing not a word. “maybe hypnos might finally stop by now that you have come.”

“maybe breath will finally enter my lungs! and food settle in my stomach!”

“my love, if we are of such detriment to ourselves when apart,” he mumbles against your lips as he captures them sweetly. “then perhaps we mustn’t part again.”

“not ever?”

“not ever,” and so, with your indefinite union confirmed, chan ushers you into his home. you quickly note the sheet music that customarily garnishes every corner of the black oak table is now stacked neatly to the side. in their place are gold lined porcelain dinner plates, and sat atop them are a meal you know your lover did not prepare. “i know what you are readying yourself to say, so i feel i must confess something.”

“please do.”

“the lees did assist me with the preparation of this meal,” he lies as you turn to him. “you do not believe me? my love, i take great offence.”

“one can only find offence in the truth, chan.”

“fine,” he sighs, kindly untucking your seat. “the lees prepared the meal.” his confession is rewarded with the softest kiss to his dimpled cheek, deepening the indent greatly. “but i did prepare the table!”

“and had you not, the meal would not look half as inviting,” your praise, though clearly meant in jest, still colours the tips of his ears.

“lest you plan for my head to swell to twice its size, i suggest you stop.”

you press your hand to his cheek, the soft skin warming your palm as you turn his face towards you. “surely that is just more of you to love, is it not?”

“goodness. u are like a god sent spring during drought! love just pours from you. surely i am not this worthy,” he ponders aloud. he rests his forehead on yours, settling his eyes on your lips, he trains his pounding heart to beat in time with your breathless chortles. “what did I do to deserve you?”

as you shrug, you lean up, capturing his lips with yours, offering up the most delicate of pecks. the motion is dizzying, and the pace moreso. his fingers grip your side almost painfully, his wandering thumb finding the skin of your hip, drawing the tiniest circles. your tongue finally slips between his teeth before he pulls away. “the lees would not be happy to learn how we have treated their meal.”

“that you plated,” you remind, squeezing his arms in want. “and a plated meal can be reheated. hell, a plated meal can be unplated!”

“is this a want or a need?” chan suddenly asks, watching your teeth catch your lip. raising his thumb once dragging along the band of your knickers, he tugs at the trapped lip, freeing it from restraint. “i asked you a question.”

“it’s a want,” you admit shamefully, your hunger amplified with another whiff of the cooling dinner.

“a want can wait.” without another word, chan releases you, waiting patiently so he can tuck your seat in. once you are seated, he tucks himself in at the table’s head, reaching for your hand to his right. “go ahead, angel.”

you can only nod as you reach for your polished fork before scooping up the braised pork and buttered mash. he grins as you moan, the sound oddly innocent as you slowly begin to regain your appetite. he frees your hand as you reach for your knife, settling it instead on your knee, squeezing before he attacks his meal. as you make your own ways through dinner, you settle into a comfortable silence, both happily welcoming any intermittent interruptions. he speaks in part of his long work week spent apart from you, you speak in part of the gruelling work week spent apart from him. you both speak of family, sharing thoughtless yet meaningful tidings. you speak of friends, of gossip and news as he updates you on the lees’ plans to finally go into business together.

“how does hyunjin feel about it? he, minho and felix, were they not in talks about a dance company?” you speak with your lips perched on the rim of your glass, never forgetting a detail chan offers up. and though this at times works to his detriment, he cannot help but smile as he nods, gleeful at your continued interest in his companions.

“hyunjin wishes them well. of course he sulked for days, but he sees their passion and respects their wishes.” chan watches as you nod, acquainted well enough with the man to understand. “but he expects shares.”

“as he should!’ you punctuate your point with a final stab at your dinner, chewing the cooling carrot far too aggressively for how well it had been prepared.

“must everyone be compensated for broken promises?” he asks, reaching for your cleared dinner plate. “that hardly seems just.”

“is that not the very underpinnings of law?”

“so that makes it just?” he asks, returning to his seat with wine before pulling you onto his lap.

“well,” you start, grabbing your glass and straddling your lover. “it depends who is profiting.”

“consider this,” placing his wine down, he rests his open hands on your thighs, “when i make you mrs. bang—”

“when?”

“yes, when,” he emphasises with a sweet kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder, trailing his nose up the column of your neck. “should you change your mind, must i hold you accountable?”

“i would never change my mind,” you state, rendering his analogy futile. “being mrs. bang would be the honour of a lifetime.”

“you are insufferable,” he breathes, his warming forehead pressed to your shoulder. “for the sake of my analogy, say that were not the case. say being mrs bang was unliveable, the biggest regret of one’s life. should you be accountable for leaving?”

“annulment is a fickle thing, chan. there are so many other factors involved.” you predict the question on his tongue, so you proceed to list them. “wealth, health, kin, religion, intimacy—”

“we won’t have that problem.”

“we won’t have any of those problems,” you correct. “will we, mr bang?”

“no,’ he agrees, pulling your frame further up his lap, “none.” there’s a pause where he regards you with an insurmountable confusion, as if regarding you for the first time again. “you never did tell me what I did to deserve you?”

“it isn’t for me to tell,” and therein lies his issue, his desperation to remedy his thanklessness, to express his unyielding gratitude for the blessing that is his lover. if he knew what he did, then he might know what to keep doing. “just enjoy me.”

“i intend to do just that,” he breathes against your skin, lips dragging along the bone of your jaw.

it is impossible not to squirm. his touch is at the best of times manageable, yet at the worst, insufferable. his fingernails press moons into your neck and thigh, firming his grip on your nape and dragging your hips down onto his crotch. the friction is hot and reeling, the slide of his cock along your clothed folds, slowly milking him whilst displaying his restraint. you detest his chosen pace, it is all the things you simultaneously love and loathe about your partner. his mature approach to love making and his need to drag out every moment beyond what is absolutely necessary. you begin setting your own pace, digging your heels into the ground as you roll against his length. the pleasure is short lived.

“it would serve you well to hold still,” he pours into your mouth, the beginnings of a smirk tainting even the purest parts of his face. he makes it increasingly difficult to follow his generous warning, as he frees your neck and grabs the table for leverage, dragging his groin against you, readily instigating your demise. “i can be fair, y/n. just tell me what it is you desire?”

“you, chan.”

“but you have all of me,” he reminds, guiding your hand to the warm space between you, tightening your grip around his heavy length. “all of me is yours, so speak plainly.”

“i want you to—“ he lets a single digit pass between your clothed folds, soaking the fabric and the pad of his finger. your eyes slowly follow his movements, the lone finger sucked into the warmth of his mouth. “chan, please.”

“how can you beg for that which you have not asked?”

“fuck me.” he reels at your embarrassment, the warmth on your cheeks warming his neck as you burrow out of view. “please,” your breathy plea fills the shell of his ear as you drag yourself along his lap. “is that not the reason you asked me here?”

his laughter fills the air as he kicks out his chair, your combined weight tugging at the carpet. “not entirely,” he admits candidly, lifting you both in a swift motion. “i do enjoy time spent in your company.”

“well, of course,” you agree, clinging to him as he moves through his home, covering more ground with every kiss he offers to your neck. “but my company can allow for a multitude of activities.”

“a multitude you say?” he places you gently atop his sheets, your weight forcing a sensual warm oak to waft through the room. his hands settle firmly by your head, his elbows collapsing to barely rest his weight on you, eliminating any and all space. his gleaming eyes bore into your own, the tip of his nose gliding along the bridge of your own. “you mightn’t believe it, but I am a simple man. i am happy to settle for one.”

“and which one might that be?”

his head lolls dumbly from left to right, allowing but a second to pass before he gives you his answer. rows of pearl capture his lip as he lowers himself, slow sensual grinds of his hips reveal his thoughts like no words could. his hooded eyes drink the creases in your face, the waves of pleasure coursing through you as he passes between your folds. the air thickens tenfold, your pants fanning his lips as you succumb to the movements of your lover.

“chan—“ your whine draws a devious grin on his face. you feel his palm rest on your cheek, his thumb running along your jaw down to your chin where he tugs, no words nor force required to tell you what he wants.

“may i?” he breathes into your mouth, tongue rolling in his own, collecting what you unknowingly crave. you nod once, leaning up to meet his lips as he leans back. the saliva gathered on his tongue slowly passes from between his lips into your open mouth. his eyes follow the string that connects you both as you swallow, your breath faltering as his eyes drag up to gaze at you. the hunger you’re met with would force your knees together, only his own keep them apart. “i’m going to give you what you want now,” he promises, fingers tugging at your panties. “and I know you can take it,” he affirms as he slides a finger in you, grinning as you whine. “i just need to make sure.”

he pumps his finger slowly, dragging the pad languidly against your walls, his thumb circling your clit. be laughs at the tremble in your thighs, how little restraint you have always exhibited. it has always been this way. your neediness bursting through the seams, rendering his own restraint powerless. especially as your fingers toy with his waistband, fist closing around his leaking tip. your palm rolls against his slit, the heel gathering his precum as you slide against his tip. he struggles with his weight over you, his forehead pressed to your own as he winds his length between your closed fist. his lips suck on your tongue, teeth clashing, when he feels a familiar ripple of heat pass through his veins.

“baby,” he huffs, stills his hips and his fingers. “is this what you want?”

“no,” you whine, humping against his hand and pumping him all the same. “but it is you i want,” you pant, chasing a high you know your lover will never give you. “it’s you i need.”

at that he pulls your hand from him, ready to fulfil his duty as your love, to give you all the things you want and need. he shows no haste removing his clothes, buckle hitting the floor, trousers and undergarments gently kicked down his legs. he takes a modicum of time on you however. his hands glide down your sides as he frees you of your sticky underwear, hiking up your skirt as he pumps his cock. lining himself up with your slit, he gazes down at you, his doting expression in stark contrast with his bare form.

“i love you, angel,” he breathes, eyes shining as he pecks at your cheek, nose, lips.

“and i you,” you breathe in kind, choking up as he sheathes himself within your walls. he sighs as you take him, your hot folds sucking him in as he slips his tongue between your lips, swallowing your whimpers. as he bottoms out he pulls away, watching your eyes gleam in want before he snaps his hips, denouncing all fatigue. “oh, chan—”

he grunts as his name falls off your tongue, your mind and body at a loss for thoughts besides those of your lover. as he pounds into you, his tip hitting your g-spot perfectly, forcing your mouth open. unintelligible moans fill the air, though he hears you calling out for him. for the most part, he hears your lustful grumbles of inexplicable pleasure. he needn’t decipher them, nor does he try. he just basks in them, his groans falling into your open mouth, the odd praise passing between your lips as does his tongue, his spit, his praise, his tongue, his spit. he uses you, as you so wish. he fucks harder into you as you fall further into delirium, pleasure rippling through you with every snap of his hips. he watches you gasp for air, gulping around his saliva, watery eyes pleading for him.

“tell me what you want.”

“i want to cum,” you whine, clinging to his tired arms as he deepens his thrusts, rolling his length into you in short, sharp motions. “please, channie.”

he feels you clench around him, his movements growing slow with each passing second. there are moments when he slips, his fist guiding himself back to you, his fingers pressed to your stomach, thumb circling your clit. he feels you teeter to the edge. your pussy closing tighter as he gathers your release, sliding his thumb harshly over your clit, fucking even faster into you as you pass into ecstacsy. his teeth clench at the base of your throat, the combined stimulation drawing your orgasm from you. all that fills the air is your gargles, his name falling off your tongue in a chant, coated in gratitude and adoration. in love. chan follows you to euphoria. his hips stutter as you milk him. His arms weakened, he rests his forehead on your temple, chasing a high only you can conjure. one that draws out grunts of gratitude, of adoration. of love.

moments pass in sticky silence. pants filling the air as the afterglow sets in, the air stagnant as the pungent smell of sex fills the room. he welcomes the short seconds of peace, but he must break it.

“move in with me.” his motives on evenings like this were never too clear, not even to himself. but chan had not lied. every moment in your presence makes your absence all the more unthinkable. sleep comes easy when you are near. he dreams sweetly when you are here. he leans over to remove your blouse, freeing you from the damp material. as he does, he gazes into your eyes, speaking softly of all the nights you could spend doing just this. all the nights you have wasted not doing this. all the ways you could spend the nights in between. all the mornings he could spend with you and you with him. “you belong with me,” he breathes, lips pressed to your knuckles as his fingers trail up and down your arms. he stills, realising he might lull you into slumber, if his words had not already done so when you speak.

“how could i not know?” you ask, splitting his pretty face with a grin. “i belong with you.”

#um illvebangchansomuchomg #bang chan #chan #skz chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan smut #chan fluff #chan smut #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #skz fluff #skz smut #skz au #ncitygirls #needs a proofread

[ohmysparkle]

Spellbound is my upcoming piece for the Strange Devotion collab hosted by @bearseungmin. I've been working on this piece since around march... and I don't want to overpromise but I think It'll be around 100K across a few teaser scenes, and three of four chapters. I've spent months researching and editing and writing, and it's been very fun! I'm also accompanying the series with a lot of visual media, such as maps, newspapers, and other elements (which I have created myself) that can help you immerse yourselves in the lore. I would immensely appreciate feedback and comments.

🌙✨Tag List: @xviternity @straykisz

Here is the first little bite of this project.

✧･ﾟ: *✧ ` . *: ･ﾟ : * ･ﾟ✧ * : ･ﾟ✧ *.✧

Pairing: Hyunjin (Stray Kids) x Reader

Genre: Dark Fantasy AU, Mystery, smut.

Teaser Length: 1.6K

Warnings: None in this chapter. For the series overall, smut, gore, witchcraft, religious themes, and I hope it gets scary too!

Enjoy!

✧･ﾟ: *✧ ` . *: ･ﾟ : * ･ﾟ✧ * : ･ﾟ✧ *.✧

The woman in front of you is beautiful. She must have been the most beautiful woman that many people had ever seen in as many lifetimes.

You hold her face in your hands and it’s hard to the touch, firm and polished like stone - the skin does not drag as you run a finger over it, inspecting her features. She is not cold, not warm; the same temperature of the room, in fact. Her eyes are perfectly still, looking beyond you and never at you; unflinching, unfocused. They seem to hold a thousand colors of amber and earth in them and they are so still they seem like glass. Her skin lacks its luster, only temporarily, but its olive and brown hues still show beneath the pallor. You imagine how it must have shone among the sun of the land from which she came, and how it would feel in that warmth from that ancient time.

You see the gash at her neck, poorly mended who knows how long ago. That must have been what killed her, you think. She must have been near fourty when she died, an age that in her beauty still seemed only the ripening of a flower, and not as many would think, its wilting. You wonder if you too would grow beautiful in such a way… or would you simply age?

She doesn’t blink as she doesn’t breathe. She has no need to move and if she so desires she could stay still for years on end and awaken in another era feeling only that she has overslept. It is only when you call her name that she does answer.

“Berenice.” You call her. It sounds very foreign in this small town where the two of you have met, just as yours does. But she doesn’t call you by your name. She only calls you Doctor, as everyone else does, it would seem far too strange to give her your name - it’s too foreign, too different, and above all; too revealing.

As you wonder, her features flick with animation, her eyes widen and adjust, her head turns to yours, her lips part and she exhales the stagnant breath that she had held within her for several days now.

“Yes, Doctor.” She answers. She speaks with that same placeless accent that you have heard in others of her age, who have ventured in different lands and times and tongues, speaking in a way that is so mixed and mended that it seems to come from no place at all. It’s an alien way of speaking, and you hope it’s not what unmasks her.

“How do you feel?” you ask her, still pressing the pads of your fingers into her flesh as it softens, almost mimicking the texture of the living. Good… that’s good. So long as it continues to soften, it is good.

“Alert, weakened.” She explains. “Lesser.”

“Lesser?” you question.

“Than I was.” She hums, thinking of the words, archaic and unintelligible ones most likely occupying the beginnings of her train of thought before she can describe her thoughts to you. “Yes - less. Like half a person, or an empty person.” She clasps her hands, balls them into fists. The change in sense and strength is always so unsettling to them, you always see the same reaction.

“It will be expected for the first few weeks, but you’ll feel better as your diet progresses and you begin to sleep normally. The sun may make you ache and irritate your eyes, but it won’t harm you as much anymore. You can begin to acclimate at your discretion. Slowly you’ll feel like you gain strength, but it is completely different. You won’t be able to do the same things, so be… careful.”

“Will I feel hunger?” She questions.

“Yes, but not the same appetite, not quite. You will be able to resist. One day you may even begin to crave what you call ‘human’ food.” You chuckle. She does technically eat human food.

“So I will not eat and drink from man?”

“You always could, but it won’t give you the same satisfaction. It won’t sate your appetite. There will be no more bloodlust, as you had before, and like I said, you might even enjoy human food.”

“And am I human?”

“I would say you always have been… you are just sick.”

“Your kind do not think so.”

“Pffft! Nonsense… many do. And well, I’ve proven it to be an illness, haven’t I? And you are on the path to recovery.” You scoff, “‘your kind’, ‘my kind’, it's a pointless label. Here, there, wherever, it’ll be different.”

“Still they confuse us with the other blood drinkers.” She argues. Those of her age aren't usually quite expressive, but you hear a sadness in those words.

“Aaah yes, the nightcrawlers. Creepy crawlies! They are not like you, they can’t walk in the sun because they have sold their soul and God can burn them in His light, like witches! Your kind, the sick, can. Daywalkers and Nightcrawlers. Different names depending on where you are, but still that’s about it. Step in the sun and they won’t confuse you.” You say after tapping the tip of her nose. She is hundreds of years old and seems confused by the gesture, so perhaps that approach should be exclusive to your child patients.

“God, you believe in Him?” This one was quite inquisitive - curious of the world. You wonder how she has lived, if it’s been in seclusion, away from the times, away from the world.

“One way or another, ‘He’ is there. Or She. A long time ago I had a… group of sorts that I worked with. Everyone had their own creed, and we’d all share blessings and icons from these faiths indiscriminately. Be it wrong or right, any belief can be a channel for us to make the distinctions that protect us, that we have faith in. There is us, the good, and the other, mostly bad. If you believe or not, there is a need for this sort of scheme and these figures. The names, the chants, the rituals. They all have a purpose when it comes to fighting certain things. You need to know what to call things, what belongs where, what is good and what isn’t… So you can pick and choose your doctrine to work with - fundamentally, that’s it I guess.”

“Hmm… I have known many gods in my time then.”

“And have you ever known them to be true?”

“Like you say, it does not matter if we believe it or not, but I have seen things and men need to give them names.”

“Straightforward I think, in the end we all seem to speak of the same things.”

“Then can you be straightforward once more and tell me when I will be human again?”

“As I’ve said. You always have been.” You sigh before answering, “as you begin to… acclimate, and follow the instructions I’ve given you, you’ll feel more like your old self. After a year or so the symptoms may have almost entirely disappeared, and you will also take on the detriments of mortal health without any enhancements, if we may call them that. Your senses will dull, as will your strength, you will weaken and become less resilient.”

You pause to look at her, before deciding to confess. “I think it may be impossible to completely eliminate the toxins left in your body, I’ve only been doing this for some years so it’s difficult to say what the long term results will be. If you are ever compelled, by your own will, or some shocking external factor, to begin to drink regularly once more, then you will feed your body the same es en es needed for the illness to grow within you once more.”

“I see. So I must be wary, forever.”

“Not forever anymore.”

“Not anymore.”

The woman stands and walks as if she were floating, still such minuscule precision in her movements. You watch the beauty in awe as she prepares to leave, as she wordlessly says farewell with a kiss to each of your hands and cheeks - another ancient gesture. You’ve warned her to be cautious of unfriendly eyes on her journey home, as you have warned all incoming and outgoing patients who come and go so secretly and illicitly. You expect that she will remain unseen - simply another person in the crowds.

You could only hope that the newly added eyes of one monster hunter Hyunjin Hwang would not target her on her way out, or those who have yet to arrive.

Because what would you do if they were?

What would he do if he discovered you?

And more importantly… what would you do to him?

#stray kids au #strange devotion skz collab #straykidsland #hwang hyunjin #stray kids smut #stray kids fantasy au #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut

[mxvladdy]

I would like to request! Can I request? Well I wish for you to consider what type of person/what kind of situation would cause the brothers to make a pact with someone. Maybe even what they would request in exchange? This can be before or after they met MC. With that out of the way, I totally binge read all of your works after my sister gushed to me about the True Form series, and just thank you??? It made me really happy reading them and it's always impressively detailed and well thought out.

Awww thank you! I’m glad it’s rave-worthy! I plan to add to it soon bc it was an absolute riot to write and research for lol

And wow this one is a toughie! I’ve actually never thought of what would make them want a pact! Hope ya like it!

Lucifer- Pact of Success

Absolutely the hardest brother to do business with, but that is probably a good thing. He is incredibly selfish with his contracts. Sure, they’ll benefit from his pact mark, but he will get the most out of it. Aside from MC he only takes requests for contracts from the human “elite”. They make wonderful feathers in his cap.

But also he takes some enjoyment in breaking them. They always get so cocky with his contracts thinking that they have him on the ropes and at their beck and call. It gives him a good chuckle, humans are so brazen considering their very short lifespan.

He destroys them slowly over time- all the little minutia he peppers in his legal bindings adds up. Not that his normal clientele ever read the fine print. But he designed it that way to make sure they don’t. All their requests are the same and so simplistic. Big boats, fancy cars, climbing the proverbial ladder faster than their friends or enemies - blah-blah-blah. At least the paperwork is easy to complete.

Very rarely does he find a contract he is excited to make. Those contracts are given to artists and craftsmen he sees potential in. He loves good art, and every artist should take pride in their work.

When it comes to the “price” of his pact it is worryingly simple. All he wants is some of their time. It sounds simple, and it is. Which is why it’s dangerous. The contract doesn’t specifically say how or the rules of it. How he takes your time is completely up to him.

Sometimes he simply comes for a drink and to ask how business is going. Or with the pacts he gives a damn about- he pops in to see progress on their artist visions or listen to their latest musings.    

Other times if he grows tired of his pact holders’ ever-growing demands or ludicrous requests he comes and takes time right out of their lifespan. His visits leave them weak and fatigued though they can’t place why. He is a slow siphon of death and they are too foolhardy to notice. If he is feeling especially cruel, or sentimental he takes memories, things that a demon generally wouldn’t want.

Time with family, the first time they met the love of their life, a child’s birthday. He takes them all and leaves them with only a blurry recollection in his wake

When MC crosses his path though he is very apprehensive. He doesn’t want a pact or anything that could jeopardize Diavolo’s upcoming plans. But they make his skin itch with want. He doesn’t want them to be another trophy on his wall. He wants a mutually beneficial pact, one that almost leans in their favor and it grates him. Should/ when a pact is made he won’t use his powers on you as then he would have to take something in return. Instead, he takes his time and coaches them to be successful by their own right, though if he has to eliminate some obstacles- well they don’t need to know that.

Mammon- Pact of Riches

I love his man with all my heart, but even when he isn’t losing bets or getting tricked into pacts he still isn’t the most selective with who he conducts business with. He is the avatar of greed, after all. I guess it comes with the territory.

He scouts for already wealthy humans or people with a good head for numbers and is money smart. Some are too smart to deal with him, knowing that whatever monetary gain they are granted from him will backfire in the end (or their mama’s taught them not to make deals with strange demons). But a sucker is born every minute, and he has nothing but time on his hands.

His pacts are pretty simple and upfront. Sign on the dotted line and they get some of his wicked gamblers’ luck and more riches than one human life span could do much with. While he gets a glorified accountant and a nice percentage of their profits. It’s a win-win… for him.

See he forgets to mention that there are two sides to every coin, and his flip side is particularly detrimental to one’s health. He just so conveniently glosses over that his luck will wear out over time depending on how frequently the pact holder uses it.

But the hunger for more doesn’t. If anything that particular sensation grows into an all-consuming fire in the pit of their pitiful guts. It forces them back into the seedy basements or griming gambling halls. One more roll, one more stack of bills, just one more time and they will hit pay dirt surly! But the losses just keep coming. If one of his pact holders ends up face down in a ditch after one too many bad hands and uncontrollable greed… well ain’t nobody’s fault but their own.

He has a softer spot for humans that seek him out and treat him like a living being instead of some tool to be tossed around at will. It’s refreshing. He will actually take some care with these pacts and tell them to temper their use of his magic so they can get the most out of it in the long run. They still might run into misfortune and he is genuinely sorry for that but there is only so much he can do in the end.

With MC he doesn’t even tell them about what his pact can do or how to use it. He doesn’t want anything bad happening to his human. If they want something tell him he will do it himself no magic or pact summoning required. He wants to keep them happy and healthy for as long as his lifespan will allow.

If MC should find how to use his pact mark he will get pissed. Not so much at them but the situation in general. He’ll be upfront about the whole thing, judge him how they want but he refuses to let greed consume them too. He focuses a lot of time and energy on learning how to reel in his magic with them so they get some of the perks but none of the major downsides. Unlike with his other pacts where he lets it all just run wild (just means they use up their contact faster and he can move on to even bigger fish).

Leviathan- Pact of Wisdom and Skill

Surprisingly, despite his antisocial tendencies with “normies”, he gets around when it comes to contracts. Perhaps it’s jealousy at his other brothers or perhaps he finds collecting contracts a bit of a game on its own.

He has a small niche of people interested in his pacts. Pacts with him give people a strategic advantage in nearly any situation. Seemingly overnight his humans turn into near tactical geniuses. Because of that, he is very popular with military leaders and humans with dangerous careers.

He also makes mini contracts with foot soldiers and humans with dangerous oceanic jobs. They just want to make it out alive and he gets that. With contracts like these, he is more lenient and doesn’t ask for much. Make an offering of fancy food to Henry 2.0 or wait in line for a rare human figuring he wants. Wam-bam thank you ma’am kinda business.

This is completely different from his larger contracts. With the military contracts, he expects them to continue with their duties until they die in the field. Simple as that, he doesn’t mince words in his contract. It’s what he would do as General so he expects it from them. Should they try to define him he will get rid of them.

He takes delight in defiant contract holders. They think they are as clever as he is now. But they forget that they are using his magic. He could take his magic away right after they defy him sure...but he won’t. He lets them stew for a bit, thinking they have had the last laugh on envy. If they wish to play games with a General then he will make sure it’s good.

With MC he plays on easy mode, granting them insight and little touches of his magic during exam week or when playing a game against his brothers. He wants nothing in return from them but some quality hangout time.

Satan- The Pact of Retribution

As the only pure-blooded demon out of the seven, he does these pacts out of necessity like most other demons. While the others do it more so out of monetary gain and an obligation to the crown. Or if you’re Belphie, sheer enjoyment.

He does it because he hungers, it a hole in his very self that he is trying to fill. He hunts for one reason only- relief from his cardinal sin. He will never feel the calm after a storm of rage naturally. Patience and tranquility are the antitheses of his very creation. So he gets it artificially through his contracts.

He looks for the downtrodden, angry, and the most bitterly despondent humans he can find and gives them the chance to seek vengeance. He is very upfront with what his pact entails. Once the vengeance is complete his rage will consume them and they will become another soul for him to consume.

He isn’t cruel about the process or tries to trick a human into a mark. Very few of the ones he approaches turn him down even after hearing the details. It is possible that humans once shot to get even and he gets to feel bliss, to feel calm. He finds out that the longer or more obscure the plan for retribution is the sweeter the outcome is for Satan.

If he is feeling super ornery he will go after people affected by the outcomes of Lucifer’s pacts. They are easy prey and almost as wrathful as Satan himself. Bonus it aggravates Lucifer to no end when he has to go out of his way to clean up the mess Satan’s contract made of his own.  Anything to piss him off makes Satan feel all the better.

With MC he doesn’t need to use his pact magic. Mostly because they are always around him in the Devildom, and no one is stupid enough to mess with someone Satan favors. If someone or something does irritate his MC he will take it out before it can fester into something his magic will try to latch onto. Keeping you calm and happy makes him feel almost tranquil as well.

Asmodeus- Pact of Gratification

Another very popular pact to try to get, and how could it not? He is fabulous~ But as much as people try to find him, he only goes for a certain type of contract. He has his perfectly manicured fingers on the pulse of the fashion and beauty industry.

His name is a whisper among the up and comers in the business. Many-while not looking for a pact - at least want to see him at least once. Many never will, they get cut from their agency or quit before they could get a foothold. It happens, and he hates to see it. Everyone deserves to feel gorgeous, or at least get a chance to be in the same room as him!

But for the ones the perceiver and climb the ranks get invited to one of his many parties. They can only get invited by someone wearing his mark. He trusts them to know who would be amenable to his contract.

His pact grants its bearer a glamor that can’t be broken by any meer mortal or mage. It makes them absolutely irresistible. How they wield that power is completely up to the user, he won’t judge or intervene.

Once they sign the contract all his holders see him frequently. He absolutely loves dropping in on their shoots or fancy dinners to say hi or get a recap on how they are fairing. Not because he is a nice demon or just super friendly (though they would like to think so). No, he just likes to watch.  

His payment is slow, methodical and no one sees it happen until it is already complete. In exchange for beauty and the graduation of getting whatever their little hearts could as for he gets their ability to love, whether that be familiar or sexual. Asmo loves the feeling of being loved; he wants it in all ways possible.

Some pact holders don’t have an issue with this. They got their looks, a successful career, and people to manipulate to their heart’s content. Not having strong contentions with anyone works in their favor. But others don’t and while they search for him to try and get that little slice of humanity back he is long gone. He got what he wanted anyway.

MC is his darling. He can and will make a special contract just for them (reviewed by Lucifer). A beautiful new contract for a beautiful soul! He wants you as unchanged as possible because this MC is the one he fell for.

Beelzebub- Pact of Prowess

His pact is a very elusive one as he isn’t keen on going and looking for one. Beel isn’t a big fan of these trades, but he needs them every once and a while. Nothing is more filling than a contracted soul.

His trade is basic, make a pact and you get his strength. He, like Satan, is upfront about what his payment is and what side effects will plague them. He sees no reason to lie about it. The more they draw on his power the more the host's body gorges itself. Their bones will collapse in on themselves from the stress of it- the magic feeds on anything in the host bodies. It will deplete the iron in the blood, go after the calcium in the bones, sink its teeth in their muscle system.  

It’s all rather gruesome and Beel does feel bad about it. He tells though who are still adamant about binding with him ways they can negate some of the side effects by taking supplements and augmenting their diets.

But it is like patching a deep cut with a bandaid, it just won’t work. His stomach is near bottomless- humans most certainly aren’t. They simply can’t eat enough to sustain their body like he can.

It surprises him that people still seek him out. To some, the pros outweigh that very huge cons. Some really do believe that they can find a loophole or find the right mix of medication to offset it.

He doesn’t get beaten up about it anymore but it gets on his nerves how obstinate humans can be about his very clear warnings. When his magic finally consumes them he takes both the body and soul back down with him and feasts on both.

With MC he keeps an eye out on them. Consistently checking in, making sure they don’t skip a meal, and join him at the gym often. He wants them to be strong and healthy enough to not ever want to use his pact. Though he does speculate that their angelic bloodline buffers both his and his brother’s magic a good bit.

Belphegor- Pact of the Visionary

Dreamers come in every shape and size and from different walks of life. But they are are all suckers to Belphie. He is known as the Lord of Decet for a reason.

He will promise them everything and anything their heart desires. That invention that will change the world? Done. A patent that is long overdue. Easy enough. A sudden rush of ingenuity to complete that nagging project. He is a devil of his word, it will be done. It- just won’t be done in the way they would want it.  

See manipulating the physical realm is hard work. Like a lot of hard work. More than he would ever do for some stupid little human. It’s a lot easier to control outcomes in his realm.

The moment the contract is signed his hosts fall under his control and he takes it from there building a perfect little dream world for them to frolic in and believe they are getting what they want. He feeds off of them here, taking little sips from their energy and exploring these new fresh dream worlds. His dreamscapes get boring every once and a while, so having a new human under his influence is always refreshing.

While his humans thrive inside their minds their bodies waste away in bed as his magic draws them further and further into an endless sleep.

He doesn’t see anything wrong with his contracts. Who would argue with him that the dream realms aren’t real in their own sense? Did his humans not accomplish their goals in the end? He doesn’t think of the outside effects of his magic and pacts. Belphie really doesn’t care about what families he broke apart or lives he inadvertently affected.  

MC is different to him though. He doesn’t keep them under his spell hardly ever (maybe if they are spending too much time with Dia or Lucifer. But he doesn’t push it with them.).He still walks into their dreams whenever he feels but he comes just to visit, not to change. He simply just enjoys keeping you company and relaxing in the little mini paradise you always seem to create in your dreams.

#obey me #request! #obey me luficer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #headcanon

[virghogh]

NCT Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analyses pt. 2

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists.

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

p.s. Thank u for all the likes on part one !!<3

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Renjun - “An artist down to the bones”

✨aries sun // scorpio moon // pisces mercury // pisces venus // taurus mars✨

can i just start with a wow cause!! This title is so bold and what they continued to talk about with him, and when looking at his chart... there is much to unpack here so let’s get into it

they started off his analysis focusing on how much of an “artist” he is. They said 2 qualities a great artists needs is openness and emotionality and he scored way above average in those areas, and the highest of those in his whole group. Looking at his placements I think anyone could tell this person is highly creative. With his 2 pisces placements and water moon in scorpio. There’s a lot more going on with that moon sign than just creativity, but it is a common trait amongst water moons!

I feel like his water energy is responsible for more of his imagination? If you watch a lot of NCT content you can see just how imaginative Renjun is. Especially in the relay vlogs when he was taking us through his art all I could think was wow this guy has crazy (good) imagination! the reason I mention this is because he has a taurus mars. taurus is ruled by venus where we get a lot of our creativity from and it’s a known thing that taurus placements always bring natural creativity. I really think the combination of water imagination with taurus art is a beautiful combo.

 On top of his natural talent in creativity and imagination, scorpio moons absolutely need an outlet. He was truly blessed with placements that give him that outlet <3 They mentioned he could be a poet and scorpio moons are always being recommended to write poetry. His art is essential to his mental and emotional health. 

something really interesting is how they mentioned that mark has traditional leader energy, but Renjun has a “mother-like” leader energy. I thought that was so sweet and really accurate for him. They mentioned how throughout the intro he would scan the others eyes a lot and make contact very subconsciously and with ease. Taking everyone into account. I see this a lot in his 2 pisces placements. I feel like a lot of pisces makes someone very sensitive, in-tune with people and caring/compassionate. And with the slower, calmer taurus mars it gives him a gentle approach. He has this strong bull/ram influence from his aries sun and mars, his driving forces, that gives him initiative and a strong voice. when these 2 connect I feel like it makes a mom bear kind of thing. 

They also said it seems when he scans like that he is almost analyzing and observing, “gathering opinions”. Scorpio moons have hawk eyes, they’re always observing micro-actions and reactions. He is mostly observing with care so he can pay attention and accommodate! But I think having a scorpio moon just makes him naturally tune in to people a lot more and gives him a sharper eye. 

I wanted to put him and Jisung in the same post because they’re both scorpio moon kings, and I wanted to talk about how this really intense moon sign plays out in 2 very different people. I have a scorpio moon too, so seeing 2 idols I like with their own scorpios moons is very interesting to me! 

at one point the psychologists verbal report took a turn and all i could think about was that scorpio moon! After they finished telling him about his artists traits, they said “there is one thing you should look out for”, and it was that people like him tend to get lonely easily and often/a lot and Renjun quickly agreed! They said that since he’s with good friends a lot, it helps, but in the future he could get very lonely and experience it more than the average person. This is so textbook scorpio moon I honestly felt like he was speaking right to me and my scorpio moon for a second. From one scorpio moon to another, I’m so glad he has people around him. 

then they asked him when he typically gets lonely the most and he responded with “it just comes to be out of the blue” u poor scorpio moon bb😭. I don’t know how serious he was about this word but he said he will be depressed on the nicest days sometimes. 

there was another story Mark was telling thin time about Renjun. They went out to a meal together on a beautiful day and Mark comments on how nice out it is and Renjun just responds with “I’m depressed”. There are so many traits of his scorpio moon coming through here. With the moon being in such an intense, deep and dark sign, it is in detriment here. It’s a really rough placement for your emotions. Water moons in general are known for being quite moody and sulky, sometimes it just comes out of nowhere and very randomly. There doesn’t always have to be a trigger. I feel like his pisces-scorpio are really like teaming up a lot when it comes to his expressions and emotions. 

In the last post I mentioned how I think Jeno and Mark are lucky to have fire moons because they could get really hard on themselves or down/depressed if they had earth or water moons. Renjun is a good example of what I meant. With his Taurus mars, earth signs are known for being down and hard on themselves a lot and I think the combination of a earth mars and scorpio moon is tough. taurus likes to be alone a lot too and I could see him maybe in the future develop a tendency to isolate when he’s having a scorpio moon moment and feels like the world is ending (again, being around people must be really helping him). I also see his aries sun maybe being another way to help express that scorpio moon. It might feel less like he has to keep all of these scorpio feelings to himself, it’s easier for him to let it out. It’s also worth noting that having a scorpio moon and taurus mars means they’re in opposition! Giving him even more depth and intensity. 

as for the hexaco chart, based off just his chart I don’t know if I would have guessed his openness was that high with his scorpio and taurus?? But other than that I think his hexaco is very spot on for him! His agreeableness is slightly below average👀 umm yes hi aries sun and fixed moon and mars. His extroversion is pretty much average but that average to me tells me someone is more on the extroverted side or maybe in the middle? Being in the middle would make sense to me because I think he definitely has potential to isolate. I’m curious to see what his houses are! I’ve seen a lot of talk that he’s a cancer rising and I buy it because it would put his sun in 10th, and moon in 5th but that’s a whole other topic...

That emotionality is wonderfully high. His openness and expression/ reactions are one of my favorite things about him. He’s truly a little aries hot head at times. I feel like aries in big 6 often gives this kind of ease with expression and straightforwardness like I was saying about mark. Similar to Chenle though, I think even though Renjun is open, he isn’t an open book and has his deep thoughts and secrets. I see his openness more in that he will always be there for people and listen/help peoples problems. He’s the kind of person to meet someone and if he can tell they’re struggling he’d offer his ear or shoulder even if they’re not close. He’s welcoming. 

tldr; has intense imagination and creative abilities, he is very welcoming, compassionate, attentive and caring. Mom vibes. He is very moody and gets down a lot, his friends and artistic expression are essential. He is very expressive, passionate and hot headed but has a lot of patience.

Jisung - “Shy Perfectionist” 

✨aquarius sun // scorpio moon // aquarius mercury // aquarius venus // aries mars✨

Jisungs section in this show was reallyyy short they didn’t say much and moved on kinda quick😅 I’ll be honest Jisung has always kinda confused me especially when I try to understand his chart and what i see in the videos. So not getting a lot of information from this episode either (yet! the show is ongoing) is tough

As far as the title they gave him🥺chart or no chart I think it’s a good title for him and how he appears in content and stuff he is true baby. In their verbal report they basically just said he’s shy and then talked a lot about how he has very good “follower” qualities. They were saying having a good follower is also a really important quality in a group though. And jisung agreed with what they were saying. That’s pretty much all we got from them😅

Honestly if I could only have one members guaranteed full chart I’d want it to be Jaemins or Jisungs because Jisung has an aquarius stellium! And the house it’s in could tell us so much more about him. Typically when I think of or meet aquarius I don’t pin them as a shy type? I could see some of them preferring to stick to themselves but they still operate pretty well in social situations. So Jisung’s painfully shy personality we see is interesting to me. Where I definitely do see his aqua and scorpio working together is in how anxious and nervous he is. He’s a worrier too and has admitted it. Also I’ve heard the combination of aquarius and scorpio makes someone intensely intuitive to future events, so I feel like if jisung is unaware of this gift it could contribute to his high anxiety. Maybe he gets feelings of “something bad is about to happen” a lot for seemingly no reason👀

Another very aquarius trait is of course they’re weirdooos through and through! And what I’ve noticed about the aquarius weird trait is how many different kinds of weird there are because aquarians are always weird in such different ways. I definitely think Jisung is a weird guy, or quirky? You can almost see the gears grinding in his head when he’s contemplating and then he’ll do something “weird” after that! Weird, or just off beat. And what I love about the way jisungs lil aquarius mind works is you can tell those weird moments are purely just how he really is and thinks, and it’s not to be funny or for the cameras, he just processes information and thinks completely different from everyone else. 

Since we know jisung is shy I feel like a lot of his aquarius and scorpio mood comes out off camera so we won’t get to see that side! But I’m sure it’s there.

I think Jisung’s scorpio moon is a good example of how different it can be. To go from a very emotionally charged chart to one that is being dominated by air is quite different. With Renjun, I was talking about how his water and fire give him the ability to be in touch with and express his scorpio moon more. But with an air dominant chart I feel like hinders that ability and creates a more detached person. Not that he’s cold, not emotional, or not compassionate. But just that he probably prefers to “just not think” about certain stressful or emotional topics. But the problem with that is it doesn’t mean emotions are gone and scorpio is very hard to ignore, so he’s probably internalizing a lot of stuff v deeply or is surprised when emotions come, what feels like, out of nowhere,.. Jisung also has an aries mars though! I feel like the openness of the aries mars combining with the detachment of Aquarius sun could also contribute to sudden releases of emotion🤔 but be back to normal in minutes

I also wanna add that I feel like jisungs very follower personality and ability to just kinda let things happen or not take charge must be a result of the industry and being the maknae tbh, or it at least accentuated it 

For the hexaco chart I really want to comment on how high the honesty-humility is! In the first part I mentioned how aquarius and aries can be quite righteous signs. So this trait must be really played up in his chart because it seems he cares a lot about following the rules (could also be a result of industry). His emotionality is higher than average! For his chart I don’t know if I would have expected that but from watching him I think it totally lines up, maybe his aries mars is proving more of an outlet. 

I also wanna finish by adding that jisung is still super young and has been in this “baby” position for most of his life, and is literally the youngest out of a 23 person group lol and grew up in the industry so there’s more going on with that than just astrology <3

tldr; very shy, anxious and nervous, intuitive, an oddball, his community is important and helpful to him, easily reactive, but not very emotionally expressive, he’s level-headed, has a lot of growing to do🥺<3

part 3 coming soon!

feedback and thoughts are always welcome!

#astrology #kpop #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #jaehyun #jaemin #lucas #taeyong #yuta #jisung #mark #ten #haechan #jeno #jungwoo fluff #renjun #johnny #shotaro #winwin #doyoung #sunchan #chenle #yangyan #xiaojun #taeil #kun #birth chart #zodiac signs #mine

[krappykawa]

ಌ i mildly like you more than like (p.1)

— in which an incessant fan girl, a kiss, and a little bit of denial makes oikawa tooru realize he might mildly like you more than like

description. you’ve been in love with oikawa tooru for longer than you can remember. having known him for the better part of nearly 11 years, you’ve come to accept that you’ll never be more than a best friend to him. but with the help of a few irritatingly persistent fangirls and a kiss that was only meant to drive them away, a tale of unrequited love might just prove to be something more. 

warnings. language

word count. 4.2k

oikawa tooru x f!reader, childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, some angst

parts. 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

author’s note. i started writing this a few weeks ago and it was originally just going to be a one-shot but it got almost up to 10k words so i just decided to split it up HHSKFJ

Oikawa Tooru has perhaps one of the strongest drives when it comes to hard work. 

His tenacity is a thing of nature, something that awes you time and time again, no matter how many times you’ve seen him pick himself up before. It might be one of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place. 

But despite how in-tune he is with his senses on a mental standpoint, his Achilles’ heel lies with his inability to pick up on the signs his body gives him when it's had enough. Well, he can, but he just chooses not to listen. 

His first encounter with a crack in that heel came in his first-year, where you had to stand on the sidelines and watch as he fell to the ground during a game with a resounded sweep of gasps around the gym. That injury benched him for more than half the season. 

It was from that point on that you and Iwaizumi decided that if Oikawa wasn’t going to take care of his own body, then it would be up to you two to make sure his head is still above water. 

So it doesn’t surprise you when your phone flashes with a text message from Iwaizumi during one of your shifts at the bakery. 

1 new message: iwa (´,,•ω•,,)♡

Received: can you come pick up shittykawa

“Tooru?” 

A figure sits slumped against the benches in front of Aoba Johsai high, his eyes closed as he lays back. There’s something beautiful about the way that he looks almost ethereal in this relaxed state, the most relaxed you’d seen him in months. When he hears his name from your lips, he slowly blinks and sits up, the aura of relaxation falling from him. 

You almost regret having said anything in the first place when he puts up his guard the moment he sees you.

“Y/N-chan!” An easy smile falls between his lips, one that could’ve easily fooled anyone else. He always was very good at portraying happiness and contentment, especially when he’d been followed everywhere by people that only really want to see Oikawa Tooru, popular ladies’ man with charm that could make your mother swoon. 

But you’re one of the select few that knew him before he learned that his charm was a crucial asset in his arsenal. You knew him at his highs and his lows, so the convincing smile on his lips doesn’t convince you in the slightest. That’s because you notice the way his arms seem to sit limply in his lap and the way his eyes convey fatigue rather than joy. You also know that Iwaizumi called you here for one thing. 

“Don’t Y/N-chan me. Iwa texted me.” 

Oikawa’s facade seems to fall at that, replaced with a troubled expression. He brings his right hand up to wipe at his face in frustration. “Listen, I don’t know what he may have said, but he’s exaggerating. I’m fine.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. He can’t seem to meet your eyes. “Well, that’s a lie considering that you’re out here right now and not in that gym,” you say matter-of-factly. 

“He physically dragged me out here!” Oikawa whines, throwing his hands in the direction of your school’s gym. 

A bemused chuckle leaves your lips as you move to sit beside him on the bench. Oikawa moves his bag to give you more room to sit, but you don’t move any closer. “And when has that ever stopped you?”

Oikawa getting kicked out of practice by Iwaizumi and even on select days, by their coach, is not an unusual occurrence. Iwaizumi has forcefully dragged Oikawa out of the gym before. Each and every time, Oikawa just marched right back in, despite Iwaizumi’s rage and his coach’s warnings. Even when his extra practice hours cause detrimental effects to his knee, Oikawa never seems to back down. 

It was something both you and Iwaizumi had grown used to in your years of friendship with Oikawa -- his incredibly stubborn determination to somehow work himself to the point of bad health. 

That’s how you know something different has happened today, because Oikawa is sitting out here on a bench rather than arguing with Iwa about how “a few more serves won’t hurt him!” (though they most definitely do, and Oikawa never seems to learn). 

You turn your head to look at him. He’s quiet now, though he still doesn’t meet your eyes. His gaze is instead focused on a dog that’s running in the park opposite the school. You know that he’s avoiding confirming your accusation. 

When it doesn’t seem like he’s going to talk anytime soon, you sigh. “All I’m saying is that if you really believed that you were fine, you would be using all your blood, sweat, tears in order to find a way back into the gym. Especially since the qualifiers are coming up.” You lean back against the bench as well, letting your eyes watch the dog happily run with its tongue lolling out of its mouth. “But instead you’re here, sitting on a bench in the afternoon. And from the looks of it, you had no intention of heading home.” 

He still doesn’t turn to look at you, the only indication that he even heard you is the mild tick in his jaw. You try not to think about how perfectly sculpted his side profile is.  

When he finally does speak, he still avoids your accusation of his fatigue and instead asks, “Why did Iwa-chan call you here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be working at the bakery?”

You shrug. “Business was slow. Besides, my boss likes me enough to let me go early today. He said I’d have to work overtime this weekend though.” 

At that, he finally turns to look at you. In the split second that you glance at him, you catch the guilt in his gaze before he looks away again. “You shouldn’t have come. You already overwork yourself being the only decent baker besides your boss that works there.”

A smile spreads on your face, your tone teasing. “Oikawa Tooru wants to talk to me about overworking myself?”

“I’m serious. You work too hard at that bakery for the measly amount that they pay you. Don’t think I don’t notice the way you try to cover your under eye circles with makeup.”

You feel your stomach jump, the familiar feeling causing your lips to tug upwards lightly. Tooru has been one of your best friends ever since you moved into the house across from his when you were seven years old. You hadn’t known when it happened, but you had come to school one day last year and just suddenly knew that your feelings were no longer limited to platonic when it came to the brown-haired volleyball captain. It’s in moments like these where you wonder how he hasn’t managed to figure your feelings out, considering how observant he is of everything else about you. 

“Yes, well I’m sorry that we can’t all look like we spawn from a god like you do. It’s seriously unfair how you can still look like that when you get even less sleep than I do.”

There’s only a hint of teasing in his voice when he says, “You think I look that handsome?” He turns to face you again, and this time there’s a blink of surprise lurking in his chestnut eyes. Especially now, with the sun casting golden glows on his hair and skin, he looks beautiful to you. 

Painfully, it reminds you about how unrequited your feelings are. Not that Oikawa has ever outright rejected you or even acknowledged knowing anything of your feelings, but him reciprocating your feelings didn’t even cross your mind as a possibility most days. Not with the group of girls that are always vying for his attention; not when his ex-girlfriend was what everyone thought was his perfect match; not when he hadn’t even attempted a committed relationship since Yua-san broke up with him all those months ago.

“Y/N?” His voice drags you out of your train of thought. You realize that you had been staring at him this entire time. 

You play off your thoughts with a roll of your eyes and turn your head back towards the park. “No,” you lie. “I just hear comments like that from your fan club all the time.” 

He nods lightly, his eyebrows creasing. “Right. Right, of course.” You’re about to ask about the odd tone in his voice when he speaks again. “You never did answer my question. Why did Iwa-chan send you here?”

“He wanted me to make sure that you actually went home instead of finding somewhere else to practice,” you say. A chuckle escapes your lips. You’re happy for the change in topic. 

“I am not that hard-headed!” You raise a brow at him. He pouts. “Fine. Maybe a little.”

“A little?”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Now you’re just being mean!”

“Yeah well, it’s payback. You’re a real pain in the ass.”

“In your ass, I hope.” 

You try to keep the blush from your cheeks as your mind takes you in a completely different direction. Suddenly, the space between you two seems too small. “You might want to rethink what you just said.” You try not to stare at his mouth as it falls open, your mind still invading your thoughts with images that you should not be fantasizing about when he’s sitting right beside you. 

“Wait.” Oikawa’s eyes go so comically wide that you almost forget your own embarrassment. “Jeez, that did not come out in the right way. Not right at all.” For what seems like the millionth time, he looks away from you, though this time it seems to be out of his own mortification over what he just said. There seems to be a blush to his cheeks, but you very well might have just imagined it. 

You let out a laugh, your arms coming up to clutch at your side. “I cannot believe that you’re supposed to be the big hotshot volleyball player that every girl has a crush on. There is not a charming bone in your body. I refuse to believe it.”

Oikawa lets out a small chuckle. “I don’t have to charm you when you already love even the uncharming parts of me. But if anyone asks, I am completely perfect. There are no uncharming parts to Oikawa Tooru. Don’t you dare spread false rumors, Y/N-chan!”

An amused snort leaves you at his last three sentences, but you decide to respond on the first part of his words. “Me? Loving you? Very unlikely.” You tease, trying your hardest to keep a straight face when Oikawa begins to pout. 

“If you don’t love me after all these years I will actually start crying right now and then those girls that follow me everywhere will come for your blood for making me cry.”

You chuckle again, catching yourself before you roll your eyes again. Next to you, Oikawa has his arms crossed with a convincing pout sitting on his lips that makes him look like a child. You smile despite yourself. “Okay, okay keep the dramatics to a minimum.”

“Then say it.”

“Say what?

“Say that you love me.”

You feel a small pang as you plaster a smile on your face. “I mildly like you more than like,” you say, not really sure if you’d be able to say those three words to him at this point in time. Not when you know that they’re true.

Oikawa’s pout deepens, but you’re adamant on not saying more. 

“That’s all you’re getting from me, Crappykawa.” Suddenly you find yourself amused at the way you managed to sound exactly like Iwaizumi. It hadn’t occurred to you that you’d spent so much time with him.

“Call me pretty and I’ll drop it.”

“You’re so needy sometimes, you know that?”

“Very much aware, Y/N-chan. As if you and Iwa-chan would ever let me forget.”

An eye roll comes easy to you and this time you don’t try to stop it. At this point, an eye roll is almost like a natural reaction to anything Oikawa says. “Fine. I’ll admit you’re not bad too look at.”

“Not great, but I’ll take it,” he concludes. “I can slowly feel the crack in my ego being restored.”

“If you want to be complimented please go seek out the never-ending stream of girls and guys that come your way hoping for even an ounce of your attention.” You hope that he doesn’t notice the mild bitterness in your voice. “I’m almost positive that they’ll be willing to tell you just how pretty you are and how everyone in the world should be in love with you.”

“They should be, shouldn’t they?” Oikawa bemuses.

A laugh leaves your lips despite your efforts. “You are insufferable sometimes. I don’t understand why I’ve kept you around for so long.”

“There you go with the insults again,” he tskes. “Have you and Iwa-chan been spending time together without me?” 

“Iwa and I are friends you know?”

“Yeah but you’re supposed to be my best friend,” he pouts. 

“You already said that line to Iwaizumi yesterday when he opted to carry me instead of you.”

“Yeah, well … I met you before he did!”

“Because you threw a volleyball at my head!”

“It was an accident!”

Laugher spills from both of your lips at the memory. It isn’t until Oikawa’s hair brushes upon your shoulder during his laughter that you realize that the space between you and Oikawa had increasingly gotten smaller. He’s so close that your thighs are only centimeters apart. 

As your laughter dies down, Oikawa’s bubbly personality begins to slip once more and the fatigue on his face becomes more evident. Eventually, he rests his head on your shoulder. You feel your stomach flutter pleasantly at his proximity. Even now, you can smell the cologne he regularly wears, the one you helped pick out back in first-year that he’s worn ever since. 

Once the silence lasts for a few moments, you finally attempt to ask him about practice once more. “Are you finally going to tell me why you didn’t fight back when Iwa threw you out of practice?” 

He sighs. “I guess you can say that I’m a little bit tired. Plus my knee hurts like all hell has reigned down.” His voice is so much different from just moments before that it’s hard to believe that they come from the same person. 

“You’re exhausted,” you say. It’s not a question, but more of a definite statement. 

“More or less,” he responds quietly. 

This time, it’s you that sighs. “Just … be careful. I get that you want to beat everyone and go to Nationals, but you’re no good to your team if you fuck your knee up so badly that you can’t play.”

“This year is our last chance,” he mumbles. “I just don’t want to look back later and wish that maybe I’d practiced just a little more.”

“You can’t beat anyone if you’re sitting on the bench from an injury that you got from overworking yourself.”

Oikawa winces at the tone in your voice. You almost feel guilty. Almost. 

“You’re going to work yourself to death. Iwaizumi and I aren’t just going to stand by and watch you dig your own grave,” you say softly. “For his sake, at least. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I’ll try,” he says. For some reason, you believe him.

The two of you sit there in silence once more, the wind blowing lightly on your hair and the sounds of a busy town echoing around you. You wish that you could bottle this moment up and keep it with you forever, even if it’s only a testament to how much Oikawa values you as a best friend and nothing more. 

The thought makes your stomach drop in the slightest bit. It’s usually easy to contain your depth of feelings for Oikawa when the air around you two is lively and joking, but you’ve found over the years that quiet moments like these are the ones that really tear at your heart. 

He’ll never know the extent of your feelings for him, and you’re too afraid to wonder what would happen if he did know. 

Oikawa turns his head only slightly to look up at you while still continuing to lean on your shoulder. “You okay?” 

You give an almost imperceptible nod. “We should head home. I don’t know what Iwaizumi might do to you if he finds you out here after practice ends,” you say. 

Oikawa nods and detaches his head from your shoulder. 

The two of you have only walked a couple of meters when you hear a group of girls squeal from not too far away. Oikawa tenses from beside you. 

“Your fanclub found you,” you say.

“I’m aware.”

He doesn’t make any move to look back at them or stop. Instead, his pace seems to speed up. 

You furrow a brow. “You don’t want to talk to them? Thought you loved their attention?”

“Ouch. You really know how to wound a man, Y/N-chan,” he says with a small smile on his lips. You take notice of the weariness in his features. “But while I do enjoy them feeding my very justified ego, I am far too fatigued to deal with them.”

You nod and continue to walk beside him. The less interactions he has with his fan club, the better your mood will be. Besides, you weren’t going to fail Iwaizumi by not doing the one thing he asked you to do and not take Oikawa home. 

A giggle reaches your ears once more, and you sneak a glance behind you. The girls are talking amongst themselves, but still obviously walking in the direction you’re headed in. 

“Well, what do you wanna do? Cause they’re coming.”

Oikawa sighs and you notice a tick of irritation in his clenched jaw. You can see a million thoughts going through his mind, but before you can ask him about them, he reaches out to grab your hand.

“Is this okay? I’m just hoping that they’ll leave me alone if they think that you and I … uhm.”

Oikawa’s hands are long and calloused, but they feel nice as his fingers intertwine with your smaller ones. You try hard not to let the little gesture get to you. “Yeah … yeah of course.”

The two of you fall into silence again, mostly due to his fatigue and your inability to form coherent words that don’t have to do with his hand in yours. You’ve held hands with Oikawa before, but it was never with the intent to make you two look like a couple. You wish more than anything that he would break the silence before you blurt out something that you don’t want to. 

Your wishes are answered when Oikawa asks, “They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Oikawa still doesn’t look back as he says it.

In your short reverie you had forgotten about the girls behind you. You sneak another glance at them and find that Oikawa’s assumption is correct.

“Yeah, they are.”

Oikawa makes an incoherent noise. “Y/N-chan, could you be a dear and describe what they look like? I have a feeling I know who exactly they are.”

You turn back again, and really take a good look at them. They’re pretty. Really pretty, you think. You wonder for a second what they could’ve done to make Oikawa so adamant on not speaking with them. 

“There’s three girls. One with cropped red hair, one with long blonde hair, and one with brown hair in a high ponytail.”

“Oh, it’s them again. I don’t know what to do to get them to leave me alone at this point,” he sighs. 

“Who are they? What’s going on?”

His grip on your hand tightens. “Ichika-san and her friends. She sent me a love letter about a month ago. I tried to let her down easily, but it seems that she has yet to give up.”

“This girl is your stalker?”

“Not quite. At least, I hope not.”

The noise from behind you two gets increasingly louder. A giggle echoes on the mildly empty street and you catch Oikawa’s name being whispered between their conversations. Now that you’ve found out about what they’ve been putting him through, your annoyance spikes. 

“Not to sound paranoid or anything, but I’m not keen on these girls finding out where you live.” 

Oikawa is quiet for a moment, his brows furrowed in indecision. It seems that he makes up his mind when he turns his head to look at you. “Kiss me.”

Your step momentarily falters. 

“What?”

He shakes your intertwined hands. “We’re already holding hands. They might get the memo if we …”

“Oh.”

“I .. I mean only if you want to. You don’t have to. I just figured that .. nevermind. It’s a spotty plan. They might still not leave us alone and --”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll do it.” You weren’t going to pass up a chance at kissing him, even if it’s only for a diversion. This doesn’t seem like such a bad idea anyways — you’d long since given up on him reciprocating your feelings, and this way you can kiss him while saving yourself from the possible embarrassment of rejection. 

“You will?”

“Where’s the harm? It’s just a kiss right?” You can barely hear yourself talking over the beating of your heart. “Besides, it could work.”

Oikawa shoots you a grateful smile. “Okay. Whenever you’re ready then.”

You try to shake out your nerves and instead focus your time in looking at your surroundings. The sound of giggling is still in close range when you spot a tree nearby. It’s still pretty out in the open, but not so much that you and Oikawa might draw stares, at least not from anyone that isn’t a part of the group of girls behind you. 

Gathering enough courage to not insanely mess this up, you tug on Oikawa’s hand to drag him with you in the direction of the tree. You make sure that you’re still in the line of sight of the three girls when you snake your arms around Oikawa’s neck and pull him down. 

His lips are softer than you imagined, and you’ve imagined kissing them more times than you’re willing to admit. Pleasantly, he tastes like oranges, which you don’t quite understand, considering that you can’t seem to remember him ever being fond of oranges. But then again, you can’t quite think of anything besides the feeling of his lips on yours.

Your lips move fluidly against his, soft but not entirely without passion. It takes everything in you to not kiss him with the force that you want to be kissing him with. 

Hands come down to grip your waist as he pulls you closer to him, gently placing a hand on the small of your back. You run your hands through his hair and wonder to yourself why you hadn’t ever played with his hair before. If you ever make it out of this with your senses still intact, you’d make playing with his hair a part of your regular routine.

He makes a small noise against your lips when you make the mistake of pulling a little too hard on his hair. His grip on you tightens. 

You don’t know how long you two stand there, lips locked with each other, but Oikawa doesn’t make any move to pull away. Instead he deepens the kiss by running his tongue against your bottom lip and pulling you even closer. You stifle a noise that threatens to come from deep in your throat. One of his hands comes up to cup your cheek and tips your head so that he can slip his tongue into your mouth. He has fantastic lips, you think. 

It’s only until you feel the air in your lungs begin to dwindle that you force yourself to pull away. The kiss lasted for longer than you expected, and by the way you pant with every breath, it feels like a kiss that the rest of the world should not have been privy to. 

You keep your eyes closed for a moment more, wanting to savor the moment for just a little longer. The moment you open your eyes, you’ll have to come back to the reality that this was just a one-time thing. You’ll have to come back to reality and remember that this kiss likely doesn’t mean anything to him. 

Slowly you open your eyes, and find that Oikawa’s already staring at you intently. His breathing comes out staggered, and his eyes have turned a few shades darker. What used to be a soft chestnut brown looks almost close to black. In them, you notice a flicker of an odd emotion that looks too familiar, but you don’t want to hope for anything. 

You slide your hands down to his chest. His hands are still planted on your back and face, touching you both gently and carefully. “Did it work?” Your voice comes out small.

He seems to wake up from his trance then, and turns to look in the direction that the girls were before. You look behind you to see one of the girls running away with her head in her hands. Her two friends follow after her in an attempt to console her.

“I think it did,” he says. And what he says after is so quiet you almost believe that you imagine hearing it. “In more ways than one.”

part two will most likely be up on thursday next week :)

#oikawa x reader #oikawa headcanons #oikawa x y/n #oikawa fluff #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #reader insert #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader

[princeanxious]

An idea I’m drawing stuff for:

Okay so g/t sanders sides au idea but where the tiny people are actually mini android/cyborgs made to accompany people /if they want to/ as companions to humans that can connect to technology and the internet. (Medium-big sized ramble under-cut)

They arent nessesarily helpers, but they can help humans w/ technology issues if they want(and there are lots of human laws in place that prohibit forced labor and captivity from this new sentient race, but as you might guess, just bc there are laws doesnt mean everyone follows them or gets caught breaking them) the rest of the world is kinda up for development but i can tell you these tiny android people sometimes come with additional features such as tails w/ audio jacks/place where the tail would go to insert an audiojack, eyes and fingers that glow, ear type varients depending on what time they were born/created, have as many bendable joints as a human, but their legs and feet are naturally a bit thicker/wider both for balance and more room for technology in their tiny bodies.

Theyre a very intermingled mix of liveform and android(and are probably best explained as just. Straight up aliens to planet earth), to the point that theres no actual way to seperate tech from bio-matter. And theyre so tiny that trying to seperate the two on such a small scale is still scientifically impossible at this current time. Damage and wear/tear to their body can heal quickly with enough energy, rest, and time, but losing body parts can be nearly detrimental to their health if said parts cant be reattached quickly. They are not strong enough to regenerate a full limb.

It’s not an immediate death if they lose a limb, but its very much an emergency due to how spread out their bodily function sensors are in their tiny bodies. Losing a certain leg can mean losing complete mobility of both legs and balance, or losing certain patches of memory, losing a certain arm can mean losing the ability to balnce well, or go nearly sensory blind(meaning they can see things, but no longer feel them that well.) the tail is the only bodypart that is not immediately detrimental to their health, just their lifestyle. Their tail is their only way to directly connect to the online world without assistance. Without it, they rely on adapter prostetics that wear out over time and need to be replaced on occassion.

That being said, in this au, Roman, Remus, and Janus are tinies in this world. Roman and Remus are twins, and both suffered an injustice of experimentation that involved one of their legs each being removed, and being reattached(successfully) to the other’s body, as a test to see how similar twin tiny’s bodies are and if the similarities assist any in surrogate limbs attaching successfully. Theyre rescued and rehabilitated amd rehomed together before anything more was done to them, but they live life knowing they have eachothers leg and function as if said legs are really their own, and it connects them in a very odd way that they cant really explain.(it comes w/ a bonus of being able to send messages to one another, but a con of being able to see a portion of the other’s memories, be it mental, or physical muscle memory)

They live with a group of humans, Logan, Patton, and Virgil, who are aware of their situation and have welcomed them into their home to live normal tiny lives. Patton and Virgil are brothers, and Logan is their childhood bestfriend. Remus tends to travel w/ Logan the most bc Logan isnt bothered by Remus’s constant hyperfixations on dark and grusome things.(they hold alot of convos abt dark literature and anatomy, and astronomy. Remus finds Logan’s voice soothing on his semi-irratic stream of thoughts, and talking abt astonomy helps sooth Remus to sleep the fastest.) Roman clings to Virgil mostly but passes inbetween Virgil and Patton pretty frequently depending on whose at work. (Virgil and Roman bicker about everything under the sun, but it’s still healthy for them. Virgil keeps Roman’s ego in check and Roman helps Virgil gain more confidence in things, especially things in public.)

Janus is.. well, he was born.. defective, in a way. No ones really sure exactly what happened, if there were dificulties in his development, or if his existance was fused semi-incorrectly with another while in the preverbial womb, but he is born with his body being partially down the middle on one side with another set of tiny genetics, leaving 1/4th of his body from one side of the head to just below the same side’s ribs to be a different skin & metal plating color. One eye glows gold, the other a bright milky white, the same going for either hand w/ his finger-tips on the same sides. Pure snow white skin, plating, and hair is unnatural, and its theorized to be a permanent glitch in his physical coding seeing as the ‘other tiny’ that had yet to combine correctly would not have developed any physical traits until birth to mimick a combination of it’s parents, it’s physical attribute coding would remain dormant and thus not addapt with the rest of the body.

This leaves Janus visually different, and physically different. He has his own two legs and tail so that part of his body functions normally, but the arm that is inter-functionally dormant leaves him with terrible balance issues(thus leaving him to require a cane) and his on the same side that is similarly dormant leaves him functionally blind in said eye and deaf on said side.

He’s developed an extremely defensive personality because he refuses to be pitied for something he was never in control of. He’s plenty independent without help and beyond grouchy. Has been known to bite humans who try to help him but wont listen to him, hard. He’s never been allowed to live a normal tiny’s life because the parents he was born to gave him to humans to ensure he lived, then got retroactively babied since. His foul temper has lead to a difficulty in the homing process, and the humans are almost about to give up on him when Virgil walks in one day, curious about homing a third tiny to help stabalize the twins antics and frustrations born from there only being the two of them.

Janus is just as foul at first as he is to everyone who approaches him, because he fully expects pity. Instead of Virgil moving on in rejection/dismissal of the rude behavior, Virgil just chuckles in amusement. “Oh boy, you’re fiesty huh?” “Have to be, lest people think they can do and think whatever they want about me. Better to give them my worst so they don’t get any god-complex over my disability, right?” And Virgil relates, and isnt hesitant abt mentioning his own struggles w/ how rudely people treat him w/ his general anxiety disorder and chronic depression.

Virgil manages to convince Janus take a chance and come home w/ him. And then Janus meets Patton, and things go so much better than anyone expected them to go. I mean, they get worse before they get better, but the getting better is so much further than any resulted backtracking. Janus likes Patton, and is uber protective of him. No one knew Patton to bicker much, but oh boy, does he bicker with Janus, often abt taking care of one another. Its all out of love and care, and its honestly jarringly sweet. (Patton gets Janus hooked on chocolate chips, and may or may not bribe him with a bottle-lip full from time to time if it means making Janus relax.)

#sanders sides #tiny tech g/t au #sanders sides g/t #platonic intrulogical #platonic prinxiety #platonic moceit #all platonic bc idk how people feel abt g/t romance #luka writes #luka’s aus #tw long post #ask to tag